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Here is an article about how the nineteenth century man wooed his woman, could we apply these tips for the modern man of today? I will leave it up to you to decide! (admin)

I expect to win the gratitude of the whole masculine gender by these rules of the art of fascinating.

It used to be supposed that this art belonged exclusively to my sex; but that was a vulgar error, which the sharp practice of the men has long since exploded. And it is now well established that gentlemen spend a great deal more time in inventing ways and means to entrap women and get them in love with them, than women do in trying to win hearts of gentlemen. Love making, indeed seems to be the “being’s end and aim” of man. He appears to think that he was born for no other purpose, and he devotes himself to the business with zeal and an enthusiasm highly honourable to his exalted genius, and to the immortal station he claims for himself of being the lord of creation.

To become a proficient in the art of fascinating, therefore, is not merely an accomplishment and a pastime but it is a duty which may not neglect without incurring the gravest censure of mankind. In entering upon the study of this great and important art, to start correctly, he must take it for granted that women are not only very poor judges of men, but that they absolutely prefer fops, fools, and triflers, to men of sense and character. If, however, the student has doubts on his subject he had better refer to certain learned authorities which will not fail to establish his mind in the right premises. Mackenzie says “women have a predilection for frivolous men.”

One of the most learned of the British Essayists says, “When we see a fellow loud and talkative, full of insipid life of laughter, we may venture to pronounce him a female favourite.” Mr Burke tells you that “the character which generally passes for agreeable with the women is made up of civility and falsehood.”

And if poets were of any authority in this high art, I might refer to Dryden, who sings-

“Our thoughtless sex is caught by outward form

And empty noise-and loves itself in man.”

If these learned authorities fail to satisfy the mind of my pupils I shall beg to refer them to the works of Sir Walter Raleigh and Lord Chesterfield, who are very copious on this subject. But as they progress in the experimental part of the art, they will learn to rely less on authorities, and trust more to their own experience and skill.

Indeed I have seldom met with a man who did not consider himself, in this way, such a proficient in this sublime art that may be wasting time to dwell at all upon the subject of authorities.

THE FIRST RULE

Set it down, then, that the woman prefer triflers to men of sense, and when you wish to make one of the sex tremendously in love with you, you will of course make yourself as big a fool as possible, in order to ensure the most speedy and triumphant success. You will do this not only because women prefer such characters, but you will also consider that so little do the most sensible and fascinating women know of their own power, that, Nero-like, they will only stop to catch flies and gnats.

Your hope of complete success then, lies in your ability to be coxcomb, who has no earthly recommendation but his face, his coat, and his impudence. To acquire pleasing and fascinating manners you will do well to spend half of your tome between the curling irons and looking-glass, so as to become the paragon described by Mr. Tennyson.

“ Oiled and curled like an Assyrian bull,

Smelling of musk and insolence.”

THE SECOND RULE.

You will make an immense hit with the ladies by pretending to be no admirer of any particular woman, but a professed adorer and slave of the whole sex; a thing which can easily show by staring insultingly at every pretty woman you meet.

The man playing hard to get, does this sound familiar? Does this approach really get the woman? But then it is written with a fair amount of sarcasm. ( admin)

This will also be following the analogy of nature, as we know that fleas and other disgusting insects molest those who have the tenderest skins and fairest complexions, just as the human flesh-flies haunt the fairer part of creation. Then, as you are not a particular, but only a general lover, the ladies will regard it as a safe business to receive the fractional part of your heart which might belong to them, just as a popular notion prevails that homeopathic doses of medicine are harmless, to say the least.

RULE THREE.

You will do well to boast that you have no higher ambition in life than merely to render yourself agreeable to the ladies. This will at once impress them with profound respect for the magnitude of your ambition, and the majesty of your genius. Every woman will be crazy to marry a man of such splendid prospects; and the whole sex will be most happy to avail themselves of the services of so amiable and useful a gentleman.

But let me caution you not to give the slightest heed to those cast-iron, sneering kind of men who out of jealousy, will say that you were framed by nature to be a woman’s fool, and who will further seek to annoy you by saying that those ladies change their lackey-lovers as often as they do their bonnets, because they soon get tired of them.

RULE FOUR.

If you can affect effeminacy and a lisping softness in your speech it will go a great way towards winning confidence and esteem of a sensible and lovely woman.

Let your conversation never rise out of the level of balls, parties, fashions and the opera. The opera will not only a pleasing but an appropriate theme for you, as it will associate you, in the lady’s mind, with the charming subject of music, reminding her that quavers and unmeaning words are always softer than its more manly parts.

RULE FIVE.

By all means wear jewellery; if you have it not your own, borrow it, or get it in some other way, for you must be sure that you go not into the presence of a woman, whose good opinion is worth having, without loaded with jewellery. An immense breast-pin, either of diamonds or paste, with two rings on each hand and a heavy fob chain, twelve inches long will be sufficient to prove that you are a man of substantial good sense, and that you are the possessor of a heart which is worthy of the confidence and admiration of any woman.

RULE SIX.

Remember that faint heart never won fair lady yet, and that, therefore, you must push your suit with the determination and vehemence of an army of soldiers storming a fort. Women like men of courage, therefore you should entertain the lady you would win with a narration of the number of men you knocked down, at balls and bar-rooms, who had the temerity to cross your path. Be sure that you always make yourself the hero of some scrape, for, notwithstanding the ladies will readily know that you are telling lies all the time, yet you show that you have a taste for fighting, and that you really possess all the attributes of a hero but the more brutal part of it,-courage.

RULE SEVEN.

Remember that we do not like men for the merit we may discover in them, so much as for that they can find in us; therefore be sure that no out-fawns you in the attentions paid to the woman of your choice. Let your compliments be so marked a character that there can be no mistaking them. For instance, you may ask her if she is always particular to shut her eyes on retiring to bed? She will ask why? And you will answer, because if you do not, I fear that the brightness of your eyes will burn holes in the blanket, or set the house a fire! This kind of compliment is of the most delicate nature, and will be certain to impress the lady, especially if she is a person of sense, with the sincerity and purity of your intentions.

RULE EIGHT.

You cannot be too attentive to your dress. You should never approach a lady except when dressed so as to look precisely as though a tailor had made you not more than fifteen minutes before. Be careful that your figure is consulted in the color and fit of your garments. If you are tall and lank, wear nothing but black, that you may “appear like a stick of black sealing-wax,” which will impress the ladies with the idea of the adhesive quality of your nature. If you are short and dumpy, and “better made for rolling than for running,” you will look particularly handsome in light or grey clothes, which will greatly enhance your fine rotundity. If your legs are small and crooked, do not fail to have your pants cut to fit a little tighter than your skin, as this will show to great advantage the delicacy of your proportion, while at the same time, it will familiarize a lady’s eye to the sight of those disgusting spiders, which, otherwise, might cause great mischief by sudden frights. If you are wise, you will not fail to impress upon a lady’s mind the idea that you are a great deal more particular about your clothes than your mind, for your mind, being always out of sight, can never offend her taste, whereas your clothes are constantly before her eyes.

RULE NINE.

On being introduced to a lady you will immediately inform her that you consider that the proper study of mankind is woman, and that Pope was therefore wrong when he asserted it to be man. You will proceed to say that you have made the sex your study so long that you find it impossible to withdraw your constant inspection of everything a lady says and does. This she will receive as a great compliment paid to her sex, while it will be particularly pleasing to her knowing that she has such a competent and vigilant spy upon all her actions.

RULE TEN.

If you are invited to dine, go at least an hour or a half before the time, for then the lady will be sure never to forget you, as the attentive and polite gentleman who allowed her neither time to dress, nor to superintend her dinner. Or, if it is not convenient to go so long beforehand, you had best not go till twenty minutes, or half an hour after the time, and so keep the dinner waiting, for this will get the lady in the habit thinking of you when you are absent, which is agreat point gained in the progress of love.

But under no circumstances must you arrive at the place about five or ten minutes before the dinner hour, for should you do so, the lady will be reminded of the vulgar showman, who cries-“be in time, be in time-just going to begin- be in time.”

RULE ELEVEN.

Much depends on your conduct at the table; for ladies are very observant of all such little affairs. To give one a good idea of your gentility, take your napkin and tie it round your neck as a “bib,” turn up your coat sleeves, and fall to, without paying any attention to the lady who sits next to you, for ladies like not to be disturbed at meals.

To show that you relish your food, let your mastication be quite audible, and when you drink to a lady, say “here’s luck,” smack your lips, and cry “ha!” Nothing gives a lady a more exalted idea of a man than to see that he is fond of good eating and drinking.

RULE TWELVE.

When you call upon a lady be sure that you say something smart, and make some local hit applicable to herself. For instance, if you perceive that she has a cough, you can say that you are sorry to hear that, as you fear it may lead to a coffin. Some such sublime joke as this will be sure to obtain you a favourable degree, by relating the number of your female friends who have died of consumption within a year, and you can wind up by quoting the following words of Moore:

“I never had a dear gazelle

To glad me its mild blue eye,

But when it came to know me well

And love me, it was sure to die.”

This will make her particularly anxious to be considered one of your “female friends.”

RULE THIRTEEN.

If you invite a lady to go to the theatre, neglect not to leave her, and go out to drink with your male friends between each act, as this will show her that you have confidence that she can protect herself; and if you can fall asleep during the play, it will be a great thing for you, as it will show that you are too much interested in her to take interest in the play; and, besides, she has the sweet imagining that you are dreaming of her. Nothing so fascinates a woman as to know that a gentleman dreams about her. Hence you will do well to always pretend that you dreamed of her, whether you did or not.

No matter if she understands your falsehood, as she will be quite sure to do, for still she cannot help being flattered that you think so much of her that you will tell her falsehoods to please her.

RULE FOURTEEN.

It will be greatly to your advantage to entertain the lady you would win with an account of the number of women who are in love with you, and of the decided advances which they have made to you; for this will not only prove that you are a great favourite with the ladies, and a man of true honor, but it will convince her that she may have the honor of being enrolled in the same list, and of being praised in the same way, in the presence of your other female friends. This will greatly delight her, and you need not be surprised if she testifies her admiration of your character by throwing her arms around your neck on the spot. And if afterwards you should hear of her having said that you ought to be hanged, you will, of course understand that she wants to use her own lovely arms for the halter.

RULE FIFTEEN.

One of the most direct and sure ways to fascinate a lady, is to excite in her heart a spirit of rivalry, through jealousy. A common way of doing this is to get the daguerreotypes of your father’s cook and chambermaid.

And take them to your lady-love, and tell her that they are the likenesses of two very rich and highly respectable ladies who have for a long time persecuted you with their affections, and at last have had the indelicacy to send you their pictures, without any solicitation on your part whatever.

This story will be readily believed, as everybody knows that rich and respectable ladies are in the habit of doing such things, and it will certainly convince any lady that you are a prize worth having, especially as she foresees that she would have the pleasure of having her home filled with a cabinet of strange women’s faces, which she could exhibit as the proud savage does the scalps her husband has taken from the heads of his enemies.

RULE SIXTEEN.

If a lady you admire happens to make the acquaintance of some gentleman of superior attainments and position to yourself, make yourself as boorish to him as possible, whenever you meet him in her company, for this will be sure to increase her admiration of you, and cause her to despise him. And then, the moment he leaves, you will be able to demolish him entirely by assailing his character- making him out a rascal, a roué and a libertine, of the very blackest dye; and fail not to believe that the blacker you paint him, the whiter you will look yourself. This course cannot fail to bring her to her senses, and convince her what a fool she has made of herself by taking such a ruffian and scoundrel for a gentleman.

And then she will admire you beyond description as the discoverer of his villainy, especially as she will clearly perceive the motives you had for the exercise of such an extraordinary sagacity. By this course you will open to her mind a vein of certain commendable traits of character possessed in an eminent degree by yourself, and to which she might otherwise have forever remained a stranger.

RULE SEVENTEEN.

If you have not learning, by all means pretend to have it, for this will give a lady, and all of her friends, an opportunity of laughing at you, which will make you a most agreeable and amusing fellow in her estimation. But if, on the other hand, you really possess some little learning, do not fail to show it off on all occasions. If a lady does not know a word of French, you will, of course, intersperse your conversation plentifully with the words from that language. You may ask her if she has ever read

“Les Egarements du Coeur?” She will stare at you to see if you are mad, and you will have the pleasure of relieving her alarm by telling her it is the name of a French book, the English of which is “The wandering of the heart,” and which you believe has never been translated into our language. She will think you really a charming man for having relieved the distressing anxiety which you had created. Now you can not only talk in English on the delightful subject of hearts, but, having given her a taste of French, you can proceed to give her a useful and pleasing lesson in that language. You may tell her that you learned it very easily; that the words are very simple, and you can prove yourself by informing her that the French word for fool is folle, and for ass is dne, that the masculine article a, is un, and that et means and, that therefore

un folle et un dne means a fool and an ass.

If there is no one to correct your bad French you will get credit for being a great scholar, while the beauty and propriety of your first lesson in French, and she will be sure never to forget you as long as she remembers it.

RULE EIGHTEEN.

It will be a masterly stroke of policy for you to pretend to be an atheist, and to scoff at every idea of religion; for, if you have no respect for your maker, nor for anything that mankind holds sacred, it will satisfy any intelligent and reflecting lady that you will have all the more respect and love bestow upon her.

RULE NINETEEN.

You ought to know that there are four things which always possess more or less interest to a lady- a parrot, a peacock, a monkey, and a man; and the nearer you can come to uniting all these about equally in your own character, the more will you be loved. This is also a cheap and excellent recipe for making a dandy- a creature which is always an object of admiration and esteem to the ladies.

This has left me feeling quite confused, why would you want the love of your life to posses the qualities of a monkey, parrot and peacock? Not the most endearing contributes.(admin)

RULE TWENTY.

As heels are of more importance to men than heads, you will of course, spend all of your earlier days in learning to dance, and when you are perfected in the art, you cannot do better than spend the rest of your time in dancing. Fail not to convince a lady that your real existence is in the ball-room, and during all the intervening time your godlike faculties are simply taking their natural sleep. You must not dance as a mere pastime and as an occasional amusement, but you must devote yourself to it as a business and a religion.

For which you wish to live or dare to die.

Dance with all the might of your body, and all the fire of your soul, in order that you may shake all melancholy out of your liver; and need not restrain yourself with the apprehension that any lady will have the least fear that the violence of your movements will ever shake anything out of your brains.

RULE TWENTY ONE.

Nothing so readily fascinates a lady as wit; but as this a very rare thing, and only one in ten thousand really possess it, the best you can do is effect it-that is, you can try to be witty, and even if you should fail, the lady’s laughter will testify how much she is delighted at your effort. Puns are always delightful, and you must not forget that those only are good which are decidedly bad, a fact which is all in your favour. Should you hear a lady tell her servant to bring up the dinner, a delicate piece of wit would be to affect great astonishment, and exclaim, “Bring up the dinner! Pray tell me, madam, has your servant swallowed the dinner?” Or you can make a misstep, and bump your head against hers, if you dare risk your own in such a collision and say, “ Beg pardon, but you know two heads are better than one;” and even if you should happen to break a shell side-comb, and give her a headache for a day, she will forgive it because of the manliness and delicacy of your wit. Or you might contrive to kick her leg with the toe of your boot, until she cries out with pain, which will give you a chance to defend yourself by declaring that she has “no right to complain, as it was perfectly leg-al.”

Only treat a lady with such refined and charming wit as this, and she will sure to betray the tenderest regard for you, by affectionately wishing you were in “Abraham’s bosom.

RULE TWENTY TWO.

Should you invite a lady out for supper, you must, by all means, order three times as much of expensive dishes as it will be possible for you to eat, as this will show her that you have a generous disregard of money, and would just as soon waste it, as spend it economically, which will convince her that your wife will never want for money, i.e. if you have any yourself.

If it is not convenient to be expensive, take the other extreme, and be as mean as possible. Condemn all dishes, that cost over fifteen cents, as being out of season or as unhealthy; and all wines you are to denounce as vile drugs, which you will neither drink yourself nor offer to those whom you respect.

Then order ale for two, which, as she will probably not drink of it, you will have all to yourself; and, as you put the glass to your lips blow off the froth, or head, and say “here’s you”- a compliment she cannot fail to appreciate and admire.

RULE TWENTY THREE.

Whenever you call on a lady, speak of having “just come from the club,” and dwell with pride upon the time you spend there, because all ladies have great faith in the happy influence of such places as “club” upon a young man, in not only teaching him the polite accomplishment of chewing and drinking, and a great many coarser habits, but they get him into the pleasant way of late hours, and of spending all his leisure time away from home. There is no sensible lady who will not jump at the chance of marrying one of these club-men, for she knows that she will be relieved of his company nearly all the time, and that she will, furthermore, have the great pleasure of sitting up to welcome him home at the poetical hour of midnight. What a charming prospect for domestic happiness!

RULE TWENTY FOUR.

You must do everything in your power to convince a lady that you are, in a modest way, a great admirer of beauty; an excellent way to prove which is, to be always seen on rainy days, when the streets are muddy, standing at the corners, where most ladies pass, staring at the embarrassment of pedestrian beauty, picking its blushing way through the mud. This is a compliment to the ladies, and a proof of your modest and elated admiration of the beautiful, which every respectable woman will duly appreciate. And, by simply reflecting upon the gratitude with which you would see the same delicate attentions paid to your own wife or daughter, you can fully realize the fascinating excellence of your character.

RULE TWENTY FIVE.

Of course you will never allow yourself to sit five minutes by the side of a lady without paying her some respectful and delicate attention, such as taking her handkerchief, and spreading it out on your lap, or leaning affectionately upon her, or throwing your arm over the back of her chair, which will look to spectators as though it were round her neck; or, if she wears a low necked dress, you can stand bending over her chair, looking down and praising the ring upon her finger, or the delicate whiteness of her hand. This will convince a lady that you have not only an inquiring mind, but you also possess the natural instinct of a well-bred and warm- hearted gentleman.

RULE TWENTY SIX.

What is called gassing is a great card for a gentleman to play, especially with an accomplished and discriminating lady. Whenever he meets her, he must pretend that he has just come from a long and interesting conversation with Colonel this- one, and General that-one, or just dined with Honourable Mister, or Governor So-and-so, and then speak of the great difficulty he had in tearing himself away from them. This will show her that he is conscious of possessing no merit of his own, to recommend him to her favour; which she will take as a pleasant and convincing proof of his modesty and humility, and which she will also charitably pass to his credit, against the lies which she well knows he is telling her.

RULE TWENTY SEVEN.

Always make yourself comfortable in the presence of a lady; which you may do, by sitting on the outer edge of your chair, and allowing your shoulders and body to fall backwards, while your legs are projecting forward into the middle of the room, and thrown apart like the divergent prongs of an immense pitch-fork. This is an elegant and tempting position. Then, in cold weather, you can sit down in her presence in your full winter rig, of over-coat, over-shoes, thick gloves and fur- cap, which will give you an air of great comfort, while at the same time, be regarded as a sign of the most delicate respect for her presence.

Or, you can accomplish the same desirable end, if the weather is hot, by going into her presence minus your suspenders and vest, with nothing on but your shirt, pantaloons, stockings and pumps. She will be sure to appreciate this delicate compliment to her presence, while she cannot fail to be struck with the justice and propriety of puppies’ achieving all the comforts they possibly can during dog-days.

RULE TWENTY EIGHT.

As vanity is considered one of the female virtues, you cannot do a better thing than to evince as much as much of it as possible. A convenient way to do this is to never forget yourself in the presence of a lady; that is, be more particular to render the occasion agreeable to yourself than you are to make it one of entire happiness to her; for this will show her that you think too much of yourself to descend to the small business of entertaining a woman.

Talk, therefore, only of your own affairs. Be constantly adjusting your shirt-collar, or arranging your cravat, which will not only show that you are ambitious to look as handsome as possible, but it will be an employment for your hands, which might prove, in some way, an annoyance to her.

RULE TWENTY NINE.

There is no way in which you can be more serviceable and render yourself more agreeable to a lady than to bring her all the bad news you hear, especially if it relates to herself. All the disparaging things you hear said of her, you will, of course take to her directly; which will cause her to always hail your coming with joy, while it proves, beyond a doubt, that you have been well-bred, and are a high-toned gentleman.

RULE THIRTY.

If you suspect a lady to possess a considerable amount of strong good sense, and if you know her to have had some experience in the world, you may believe that you can easily win her confidence and respect, by assuming an extraordinary amount of piety, virtue, and respectability; which she well knows to be an old trick of nearly all young scrape-graces, who have nothing but pretension in the great claims they make to morality. Therefore be easily shocked- be in constant alarm lest you should compromise yourself-put on pious airs; and the lady will give you credit for obeying the sublime injunction of the poet, who says:

“Assume a virtue- if you have not.”

RULE THIRTY ONE.

Always have some joke ready which is intended to be a hit at woman. For instance if you see a lady eating a piece of tongue, you can remark that you are surprised to see her doing that, as you thought the ladies had already tongue enough.

Some such originals joke as this will impress a lady greatly in your favour, by convincing her that you are one of those commonplace, insipid creatures, whose intellect is down to the low level of woman’s, and that you will not, therefore, be likely ever to startle and annoy her, by propositions or conversations beyond the reach of her comprehension.

RULE THIRTY TWO.

You will do well to follow the example of a great many gentlemen, and practise killing ways before the looking-glass, which will be quite sure to give you a style as charming and fascinating as the manners of a monkey, while it will flatter the vanity of any sensible woman to see what pains you take to render yourself so honourably agreeable to her sex.

RULE THIRTY THREE.

Always talk a little doubtingly of female virtue, for that will show that you are virtuous yourself, and that you associate chiefly with a class of woman who cannot fail to be of great advantage to you in giving you proper, and sufficiently cautionary, ideas of the character of the sex.

RULE THIRTY FOUR.

Pretend that you are perfectly invulnerable to all the charms of woman, which will convince her that you are the most vulnerable and susceptible creature alive, and that you are always making love to every pretty woman you see, married or single.

This will show that your heart is as tender as though it was rotten, and that you would, therefore, make a most excellent and desirable husband.

RULE THIRTY FIVE.

Also, talk perpetually of your great caution as to what woman you associate with.

The louder your professions in this matter, the more you convince a sensible lady that you would make love even to your washer-woman, without regard to color, and that your wife, therefore, may reasonably expect to be relieved of a great deal of the persecution of a husband’s affections.

RULE THIRTY SIX.

Always complain that your lady acquaintances are too numerous, and absorb too much of your time, which will convince a discerning woman that you have not a single respectable female acquaintance except herself, and that she, therefore, has you all to herself, including all your pretensions and lies.

RULE THIRTY SEVEN.

If there is a beautiful married lady in your neighbourhood, you will, of course, try to flirt with her; and, as a preparatory step, you will cultivate the confidence and friendship of her husband, which is a most direct road to the affections of the wife;

For it will thoroughly apprise her of her designs, and then nothing will delight her more than to witness your efforts to impose upon her husband.

If she is worth flirting with, your success will be certain, and you will have the pleasure of being laughed at those adroit rascals who always avoid the friendship and even the acquaintance of a man, with whose wife they desire to flirt.

RULE THIRTY EIGHT.

It is a masterly stroke of policy of some young man to be always railing at matrimony- an example I advise you, by all means, to copy, for it will give you an opportunity of courting every pretty woman who comes in your way, without being suspected of any but the most unselfish and honourable intentions. A man who despises matrimony, and who avows his determination never to marry, has also a carte blanche to the home of every young lady; for the parents know there is no danger that he will ever steal way their daughter permanently in marriage, his object being only a temporary courtship.

RULE THIRTY NINE.

There is an insipid tribe of triflers, called “danglers” with whom women are very fond of diverting themselves in mock flirtations, when they have nothing better to do. They regard them as a class of beings beneath their monkeys, parrots, and lap-dogs; but, possessing the form, and, in some degree, the attributes of a man, they use them for pastime, and to practise themselves in the pleasant art of flirting. It will cost you but little pains to become one of these useful and happy beings.

RULE FORTY.

If you have made up your mind to strike a woman quite dead in love with you, fix your eyes amorously upon hers, and gaze fixedly and burningly into them, as though you were mesmerizing her. If you perceive that it is with difficulty she keeps from laughing in your face, or, if she turns away her face in scorn, as though she felt insulted, you must, by no means, relax your gaze, for these are clear signs that you are having your effect upon her. And if she sends for her father, or brother, to kick you out of the house, you may know that it is because she dares not longer trust herself in your fascinating presence.

RULE FORTY ONE.

What is called attitudinizing is a great game to play upon an intelligent and sensible woman- that is, to throw your body into a series of graceful pictures, or fascinating attitudes, which you must study before a mirror; and, as a lady will readily detect your skill and practice, she will at once bite at so tempting a bait, and set herself to win your heart, as sincerely as a spider spins a fine web to catch a fly, for she knows that all such insects are easily caught, and easily bled.

RULE FORTY TWO.

If you perceive that a lady is decidedly averse to receiving you, and actually flies from your presence, you should perpetually throw yourself under her nose, on the same principle that a horse is made to smell of a wheel-barrow to keep him from taking right at such an ugly machine.

RULE FORTY THREE.

Or, if a lady begins to shoe evident signs of weariness at your frequent calls, by all means double your attentions-call oftener, and stay longer, until you make yourself a fixture in her presence, like a dummy in the door- way of a haberdasher. This will soon do the business for you, and leave no possible grounds to doubt as to your real position in her affections.

RULE FORTY FOUR.

If a lady condescends to treat you with a little familiar and as agreeable as possible, which you may do by some such trick as sticking you segar almost into her eyes, to light it, or taking her finger to brush the ashes from the end of it; and if she should ask you why you do not use your own finger, you can reply by making a double nose, and say “ no you don’t,” which will strike her with admiration both for your wit and familiar good breeding.

RULE FORTY FIVE.

Nothing makes a gentleman appear to so great advantage as to be good at “small talk,” that is, to be able to prattle away for hours without saying anything.

If you have not this fascinating gift of gab yourself, you will do well to take along some help as Harper’s monthly picture-book, so that you can amuse the lady by studying the jokes to find out where the laughs come in.

If you should be unable t find any, you can make a joke yourself, by pulling the lady’s nose, and exclaiming “not as you nose-on;” and then, by laughing as loud as you can scream, you will prove that your unaided wit and genius have found a joke.

RULE FORTY SIX.

It is a delightful and sprightly species of wit, called big talk, which accomplished gentlemen sometimes indulge in, to entertain ladies by descriptions of mock adventures, such as riding an earthquake to water, drinking out of the milky-way, cutting a piece off the Brocken for a night-cap, catching a comet by the tail, or hunting for a calf’s head in the cell of a moon beam.

If , after you have delivered yourself of this matchless piece of sense and humor, the lady gravely asks if you had any difficulty in finding a calf’s head, you may know that she fully appreciates your genius, and that you have made an immense hit.

RULE FORTY SEVEN.

I advise you to study to perform a few pleasing and charming tricks in every lady’s presence, such as snatching her pocket-handkerchief out of her lap and throwing it upon the floor, and violently stamping upon it; and when she asks, with terror, what are you doing, reply that you are killing a wiper.

Or you can open the door on a winter’s night, and then astonish and delight her by asking if there are any pickles in it? And when she asks what you mean, reply, “Nothing, only I see it is a-jar.” A few such tricks as these will convince a lady that you would be as amusing in a house as a monkey, and therefore would be a great prize as a husband.

RULE FORTY EIGHT.

If you intend to call on a lady in the evening, do not neglect to drink liquor several times, and several kinds of it, during the day, for this will give spirits to your conversation, while it will enable you to perfume her whole house with a fragrance which can be equalled only by a scent that has now become very rare, in consequences of the scarcity of the animal that produces it.

RULE FORTY NINE.

Giggle and laugh perpetually- make fun, even of serious things; for that will show that your heart is as light as your head, and that grief is as great a stranger to the one as sense to the other.

RULE FIFTY.

If you have not the natural sprightliness and playfulness to enable you, to take advantage of these rules, take the other take, and be as surly as possible- that is, if you cannot be a puppy and frisk and bark, be an old dog and growl.

I found the hints to gentlemen on the art of fascinating, very funny; I especially liked the chapters 40 and 48. I always imagined the women of that generation to be naïve but on the contrary, they knew exactly what they liked and disliked in there men. I also didn’t expect such humour in the form of sarcastic wit! (admin)

Here is an article about how the nineteenth century man wooed his woman, could we apply these tips for the modern man of today? I will leave it up to you to decide! (admin)

I expect to win the gratitude of the whole masculine gender by these rules of the art of fascinating.

It used to be supposed that this art belonged exclusively to my sex; but that was a vulgar error, which the sharp practice of the men has long since exploded. And it is now well established that gentlemen spend a great deal more time in inventing ways and means to entrap women and get them in love with them, than women do in trying to win hearts of gentlemen. Love making, indeed seems to be the “being’s end and aim” of man. He appears to think that he was born for no other purpose, and he devotes himself to the business with zeal and an enthusiasm highly honourable to his exalted genius, and to the immortal station he claims for himself of being the lord of reation.

To become a proficient in the art of fascinating, therefore, is not merely an accomplishment and a pastime but it is a duty which may not neglect without incurring the gravest censure of mankind. In entering upon the study of this great and important art, to start correctly, he must take it for granted that women are not only very poor judges of men, but that they absolutely prefer fops, fools, and triflers, to men of sense and character. If, however, the student has doubts on his subject he had better refer to certain learned authorities which will not fail to establish his mind in the right premises. Mackenzie says “women have a predilection for frivolous men.”

One of the most learned of the British Essayists says, “When we see a fellow loud and talkative, full of insipid life of laughter, we may venture to pronounce him a female favourite.” Mr Burke tells you that “the character which generally passes for agreeable with the women is made up of civility and falsehood.”

And if poets were of any authority in this high art, I might refer to Dryden, who sings-

“Our thoughtless sex is caught buy outward form

And empty noise-and loves itself in man.”

If these learned authorities fail to satisfy the mind of my pupils I shall beg to refer them to the works of Sir Walter Raleigh and Lord Chesterfield, who are very copious on this subject. But as they progress in the experimental part of the art, they will learn to rely less on authorities, and trust more to their own experience and skill.

Indeed I have seldom met with a man who did not consider himself, in this way, such a proficient in this sublime art that may be wasting time to dwell at all upon the subject of authorities.

RULE THE FIRST

Set it down, then, that the woman prefer triflers to men of sense, and when you wish to make one of the sex tremendously in love with you, you will of course make yourself as big a fool as possible, in order to ensure the most speedy and triumphant success. You will do this not only because women prefer such characters, but you will also consider that so little do the most sensible and fascinating women know of their own power, that, Nero-like, they will only stop to catch flies and gnats.

Your hope of complete success then, lies in your ability to be coxcomb, who has no earthly recommendation but his face, his coat, and his impudence. To acquire pleasing and fascinating manners you will do well to spend half of your tome between the curling irons and looking-glass, so as to become the paragon described by Mr. Tennyson.

“ Oiled and curled like an Assyrian bull,

Smelling of musk and insolence.”

RULE THE SECOND.

You will make an immense hit with the ladies by pretending to be no admirer of any particular woman, but a professed adorer and slave of the whole sex; a thing which can easily show by staring insultingly at every pretty woman you meet.

The man playing hard to get, does this sound familiar? Does this approach really get the woman? But then it is written with a fair amount of sarcasm. ( admin)

This will also be following the analogy of nature, as we know that fleas and other disgusting insects molest those who have the tenderest skins and fairest complexions, just as the human flesh-flies haunt the fairer part of creation. Then, as you are not a particular, but only a general lover, the ladies will regard it as a safe business to receive the fractional part of your heart which might belong to them, just as a popular notion prevails that homeopathic doses of medicine are harmless, to say the least.

RULE THREE.

You will do well to boast that you have no higher ambition in life than merely to render yourself agreeable to the ladies. This will at once impress them with profound respect for the magnitude of your ambition, and the majesty of your genius. Every woman will be crazy to marry a man of such splendid prospects; and the whole sex will be most happy to avail themselves of the services of so aimable and useful a gentleman.

But let me caution you not to give the slightest heed to those cast-iron, sneering kind of men who out of jealousy, will say that you were framed by nature to be a woman’s fool, and who will further seek to annoy you by saying that those ladies change their lackey-lovers as often as they do their bonnets, because they soon get tired of them.

RULE FOUR.

If you can affect effeminacy and a lisping softness in your speech it will go a great way towards winning confidence and esteem of a sensible and lovely woman.

Let your conversation never rise out of the level of balls, parties, fashions and the opera. The opera will not only a pleasing but an appropriate theme for you, as it will associate you, in the lady’s mind, with the charming subject of music, reminding her that quavers and unmeaning words are always softer than its more manly parts.

RULE FIVE.

By all means wear jewellery; if you have it not your own, borrow it, or get it in some other way, for you must be sure that you go not into the presence of a woman, whose good opinion is worth having, without loaded with jewellery. An immense breast-pin, either of diamonds or paste, with two rings on each hand and a heavy fob chain, twelve inches long will be sufficient to prove that you are a man of substantial good sense, and that you are the possessor of a heart which is worthy of the confidence and admiration of any woman.

RULE SIX.

Remember that faint heart never won fair lady yet, and that, therefore, you must push your suit with the determination and vehemence of an army of soldiers storming a fort. Women like men of courage, therefore you should entertain the lady you would win with a narration of the number of men you knocked down, at balls and bar-rooms, who had the temerity to cross your path. Be sure that you always make yourself the hero of some scrape, for, notwithstanding the ladies will readily know that you are telling lies all the time, yet you show that you have a taste for fighting, and that you really possess all the attributes of a hero but the more brutal part of it,-courage.

RULE SEVEN.

Remember that we do not like men for the merit we may discover in them, so much as for that they can find in us; therefore be sure that no out-fawns you in the attentions paid to the woman of your choice. Let your compliments be so marked a character that there can be no mistaking them. For instance, you may ask her if she is always particular to shut her eyes on retiring to bed? She will ask why? And you will answer, because if you do not, I fear that the brightness of your eyes will burn holes in the blanket, or set the house a fire! This kind of compliment is of the most delicate nature, and will be certain to impress the lady, especially if she is a person of sense, with the sincerity and purity of your intentions.

RULE EIGHT.

You cannot be too attentive to your dress. You should never approach a lady except when dressed so as to look precisely as though a tailor had made you not more than fifteen minutes before. Be careful that your figure is consulted in the color and fit of your garments. If you are tall and lank, wear nothing but black, that you may “appear like a stick of black sealing-wax,” which will impress the ladies with the idea of the adhesive quality of your nature. If you are short and dumpy, and “better made for rolling than for running,” you will look particularly handsome in light or grey clothes, which will greatly enhance your fine rotundity. If your legs are small and crooked, do not fail to have your pants cut to fit a little tighter than your skin, as this will show to great advantage the delicacy of your proportion, while at the same time, it will familiarize a lady’s eye to the sight of those disgusting spiders, which, otherwise, might cause great mischief by sudden frights. If you are wise, you will not fail to impress upon a lady’s mind the idea that you are a great deal more particular about your clothes than your mind, for your mind, being always out of sight, can never offend her taste, whereas your clothes are constantly before her eyes.

RULE NINE.

On being introduced to a lady you will immediately inform her that you consider that the proper study of mankind is woman, and that Pope was therefore wrong when he asserted it to be man. You will proceed to say that you have made the sex your study so long that you find it impossible to withdraw your constant inspection of everything a lady says and does. This she will receive as a great compliment paid to her sex, while it will be particularly pleasing to her knowing that she has such a competent and vigilant spy upon all her actions.

RULE TEN.

If you are invited to dine, go at least an hour or a half before the time, for then the lady will be sure never to forget you, as the attentive and polite gentleman who allowed her neither time to dress, nor to superintend her dinner. Or, if it is not convenient to go so long beforehand, you had best not go till twenty minutes, or half an hour after the time, and so keep the dinner waiting, for this will get the lady in the habit thinking of you when you are absent, which is agreat point gained in the progress of love.

But under no circumstances must you arrive at the place about five or ten minutes before the dinner hour, for should you do so, the lady will be reminded of the vulgar showman, who cries-“be in time, be in time-just going to begin- be in time.”

RULE ELEVEN.

Much depends on your conduct at the table; for ladies are very observant of all such little affairs. To give one a good idea of your gentility, take your napkin and tie it round your neck as a “bib,” turn up your coat sleeves, and fall to, without paying any attention to the lady who sits next to you, for ladies like not to be disturbed at meals.

To show that you relish your food, let your mastication be quite audible, and when you drink to a lady, say “here’s luck,” smack your lips, and cry “ha!” Nothing gives a lady a more exalted idea of a man than to see that he is fond of good eating and drinking.

RULE TWELVE.

When you call upon a lady be sure that you say something smart, and make some local hit applicable to herself. For instance, if you perceive that she has a cough, you can say that you are sorry to hear that, as you fear it may lead to a coffin. Some such sublime joke as this will be sure to obtain you a favourable degree, by relating the number of your female friends who have died of consumption within a year, and you can wind up by quoting the following words of Moore:

“I never had a dear gazelle

To glad me its mild blue eye,

But when it came to know me well

And love me, it was sure to die.”

This will make her particularly anxious to be considered one of your “female friends.”

RULE THIRTEEN.

If you invite a lady to go to the theatre, neglect not to leave her, and go out to drink with your male friends between each act, as this will show her that you have confidence that she can protect herself; and if you can fall asleep during the play, it will be a great thing for you, as it will show that you are too much interested in her to take interest in the play; and, besides, she has the sweet imagining that you are dreaming of her. Nothing so fascinates a woman as to know that a gentleman dreams about her. Hence you will do well to always pretend that you dreamed of her, whether you did or not.

No matter if she understands your falsehood, as she will be quite sure to do, for still she cannot help being flattered that you think so much of her that you will tell her falsehoods to please her.

RULE FOURTEEN.

It will be greatly to your advantage to entertain the lady you would win with an account of the number of women who are in love with you, and of the decided advances which they have made to you; for this will not only prove that you are a great favourite with the ladies, and a man of true honor, but it will convince her that she may have the honor of being enrolled in the same list, and of being praised in the same way, in the presence of your other female friends. This will greatly delight her, and you need not be surprised if she testifies her admiration of your character by throwing her arms around your neck on the spot. And if afterwards you should hear of her having said that you ought to be hanged, you will, of course understand that she wants to use her own lovely arms for the halter.

RULE FIFTEEN.

One of the most direct and sure ways to fascinate a lady, is to excite in her heart a spirit of rivalry, through jealousy. A common way of doing this is to get the daguerreotypes of your father’s cook and chambermaid.

And take them to your lady-love, and tell her that they are the likenesses of two very rich and highly respectable ladies who have for a long time persecuted you with their affections, and at last have had the indelicacy to send you their pictures, without any solicitation on your part whatever.

This story will be readily believed, as everybody knows that rich and respectable ladies are in the habit of doing such things, and it will certainly convince any lady that you are a prize worth having, especially as she foresees that she would have the pleasure of having her home filled with a cabinet of strange women’s faces, which she could exhibit as the proud savage does the scalps her husband has taken from the heads of his enemies.

RULE SIXTEEN.

If a lady you admire happens to make the acquaintance of some gentleman of superior attainments and position to yourself, make yourself as boorish to him as possible, whenever you meet him in her company, for this will be sure to increase her admiration of you, and cause her to despise him. And then, the moment he leaves, you will be able to demolish him entirely by assailing his character- making him out a rascal, a roué and a libertine, of the very blackest dye; and fail not to believe that the blacker you paint him, the whiter you will look yourself. This course cannot fail to bring her to her senses, and convince her what a fool she has made of herself by taking such a ruffian and scoundrel for a gentleman.

And then she will admire you beyond description as the discoverer of his villainy, especially as she will clearly perceive the motives you had for the exercise of such an extraordinary sagacity. By this course you will open to her mind a vein of certain commendable traits of character possessed in an eminent degree by yourself, and to which she might otherwise have forever remained a stranger.

RULE SEVENTEEN.

If you have not learning, by all means pretend to have it, for this will give a lady, and all of her friends, an opportunity of laughing at you, which will make you a most agreeable and amusing fellow in her estimation. But if, on the other hand, you really possess some little learning, do not fail to show it off on all occasions. If a lady does not know a word of French, you will, of course, intersperse your conversation plentifully with the words from that language. You may ask her if she has ever read

“Les Egarements du Coeur?” She will stare at you to see if you are mad, and you will have the pleasure of relieving her alarm by telling her it is the name of a French book, the English of which is “The wandering of the heart,” and which you believe has never been translated into our language. She will think you really a charming man for having relieved the distressing anxiety which you had created. Now you can not only talk in English on the delightful subject of hearts, but, having given her a taste of French, you can proceed to give her a useful and pleasing lesson in that language. You may tell her that you learned it very easily; that the words are very simple, and you can prove yourself by informing her that the French word for fool is folle, and for ass is dne, that the masculine article a, is un, and that et means and, that therefore

un folle et un dne means a fool and an ass.

If there is no one to correct your bad French you will get credit for being a great scholar, while the beauty and propriety of your first lesson in French, and she will be sure never to forget you as long as she remembers it.

RULE EIGHTEEN.

It will be a masterly stroke of policy for you to pretend to be an atheist, and to scoff at every idea of religion; for, if you have no respect for your maker, nor for anything that mankind holds sacred, it will satisfy any intelligent and reflecting lady that you will have all the more respect and love bestow upon her.

RULE NINETEEN.

You ought to know that there are four things which always possess more or less interest to a lady- a parrot, a peacock, a monkey, and a man; and the nearer you can come to uniting all these about equally in your own character, the more will you be loved. This is also a cheap and excellent recipe for making a dandy- a creature which is always an object of admiration and esteem to the ladies.

This has left me feeling quite confused, why would you want the love of your life to posses the qualities of a monkey, parrot and peacock? Not the most endearing contributes.(admin)

RULE TWENTY.

As heels are of more importance to men than heads, you will of course, spend all of your earlier days in learning to dance, and when you are perfected in the art, you cannot do better than spend the rest of your time in dancing. Fail not to convince a lady that your real existence is in the ball-room, and during all the intervening time your godlike faculties are simply taking their natural sleep. You must not dance as a mere pastime and as an occasional amusement, but you must devote yourself to it as a business and a religion.

For which you wish to live or dare to die.

Dance with all the might of your body, and all the fire of your soul, in order that you may shake all melancholy out of your liver; and need not restrain yourself with the apprehension that any lady will have the least fear that the violence of your movements will ever shake anything out of your brains.

RULE TWENTY ONE.

Nothing so readily fascinates a lady as wit; but as this a very rare thing, and only one in ten thousand really possess it, the best you can do is effect it-that is, you can try to be witty, and even if you should fail, the lady’s laughter will testify how much she is delighted at your effort. Puns are always delightful, and you must not forget that those only are good which are decidedly bad, a fact which is all in your favour. Should you hear a lady tell her servant to bring up the dinner, a delicate piece of wit would be to affect great astonishment, and exclaim, “Bring up the dinner! Pray tell me, madam, has your servant swallowed the dinner?” Or you can make a misstep, and bump your head against hers, if you dare risk your own in such a collision and say, “ Beg pardon, but you know two heads are better than one;” and even if you should happen to break a shell side-comb, and give her a headache for a day, she will forgive it because of the manliness and delicacy of your wit. Or you might contrive to kick her leg with the toe of your boot, until she cries out with pain, which will give you a chance to defend yourself by declaring that she has “no right to complain, as it was perfectly leg-al.”

Only treat a lady with such refined and charming wit as this, and she will sure to betray the tenderest regard for you, by affectionately wishing you were in “Abraham’s bosom.

RULE TWENTY TWO.

Should you invite a lady out for supper, you must, by all means, order three times as much of expensive dishes as it will be possible for you to eat, as this will show her that you have a generous disregard of money, and would just as soon waste it, as spend it economically, which will convince her that your wife will never want for money, i.e. if you have any yourself.

If it is not convenient to be expensive, take the other extreme, and be as mean as possible. Condemn all dishes, that cost over fifteen cents, as being out of season or as unhealthy; and all wines you are to denounce as vile drugs, which you will neither drink yourself nor offer to those whom you respect.

Then order ale for two, which, as she will probably not drink of it, you will have all to yourself; and, as you put the glass to your lips blow off the froth, or head, and say “here’s you”- a compliment she cannot fail to appreciate and admire.

RULE TWENTY THREE.

Whenever you call on a lady, speak of having “just come from the club,” and dwell with pride upon the time you spend there, because all ladies have great faith in the happy influence of such places as “club” upon a young man, in not only teaching him the polite accomplishment of chewing and drinking, and a great many coarser habits, but they get him into the pleasant way of late hours, and of spending all his leisure time away from home. There is no sensible lady who will not jump at the chance of marrying one of these club-men, for she knows that she will be relieved of his company nearly all the time, and that she will, furthermore, have the great pleasure of sitting up to welcome him home at the poetical hour of midnight. What a charming prospect for domestic happiness!

RULE TWENTY FOUR.

You must do everything in your power to convince a lady that you are, in a modest way, a great admirer of beauty; an excellent way to prove which is, to be always seen on rainy days, when the streets are muddy, standing at the corners, where most ladies pass, staring at the embarrassment of pedestrian beauty, picking its blushing way through the mud. This is a compliment to the ladies, and a proof of your modest and elated admiration of the beautiful, which every respectable woman will duly appreciate. And, by simply reflecting upon the gratitude with which you would see the same delicate attentions paid to your own wife or daughter, you can fully realize the fascinating excellence of your character.

RULE TWENTY FIVE.

Of course you will never allow yourself to sit five minutes by the side of a lady without paying her some respectful and delicate attention, such as taking her handkerchief, and spreading it out on your lap, or leaning affectionately upon her, or throwing your arm over the back of her chair, which will look to spectators as though it were round her neck; or, if she wears a low necked dress, you can stand bending over her chair, looking down and praising the ring upon her finger, or the delicate whiteness of her hand. This will convince a lady that you have not only an inquiring mind, but you also possess the natural instinct of a well-bred and warm- hearted gentleman.

RULE TWENTY SIX.

What is called gassing is a great card for a gentleman to play, especially with an accomplished and discriminating lady. Whenever he meets her, he must pretend that he has just come from a long and interesting conversation with Colonel this- one, and General that-one, or just dined with Honourable Mister, or Governor So-and-so, and then speak of the great difficulty he had in tearing himself away from them. This will show her that he is conscious of possessing no merit of his own, to recommend him to her favour; which she will take as a pleasant and convincing proof of his modesty and humility, and which she will also charitably pass to his credit, against the lies which she well knows he is telling her.

RULE TWENTY SEVEN.

Always make yourself comfortable in the presence of a lady; which you may do, by sitting on the outer edge of your chair, and allowing your shoulders and body to fall backwards, while your legs are projecting forward into the middle of the room, and thrown apart like the divergent prongs of an immense pitch-fork. This is an elegant and tempting position. Then, in cold weather, you can sit down in her presence in your full winter rig, of over-coat, over-shoes, thick gloves and fur- cap, which will give you an air of great comfort, while at the same time, be regarded as a sign of the most delicate respect for her presence.

Or, you can accomplish the same desirable end, if the weather is hot, by going into her presence minus your suspenders and vest, with nothing on but your shirt, pantaloons, stockings and pumps. She will be sure to appreciate this delicate compliment to her presence, while she cannot fail to be struck with the justice and propriety of puppies’ achieving all the comforts they possibly can during dog-days.

RULE TWENTY EIGHT.

As vanity is considered one of the female virtues, you cannot do a better thing than to evince as much as much of it as possible. A convenient way to do this is to never forget yourself in the presence of a lady; that is, be more particular to render the occasion agreeable to yourself than you are to make it one of entire happiness to her; for this will show her that you think too much of yourself to descend to the small business of entertaining a woman.

Talk, therefore, only of your own affairs. Be constantly adjusting your shirt-collar, or arranging your cravat, which will not only show that you are ambitious to look as handsome as possible, but it will be an employment for your hands, which might prove, in some way, an annoyance to her.

RULE TWENTY NINE.

There is no way in which you can be more serviceable and render yourself more agreeable to a lady than to bring her all the bad news you hear, especially if it relates to herself. All the disparaging things you hear said of her, you will, of course take to her directly; which will cause her to always hail your coming with joy, while it proves, beyond a doubt, that you have been well-bred, and are a high-toned gentleman.

RULE THIRTY.

If you suspect a lady to possess a considerable amount of strong good sense, and if you know her to have had some experience in the world, you may believe that you can easily win her confidence and respect, by assuming an extraordinary amount of piety, virtue, and respectability; which she well knows to be an old trick of nearly all young scrape-graces, who have nothing but pretension in the great claims they make to morality. Therefore be easily shocked- be in constant alarm lest you should compromise yourself-put on pious airs; and the lady will give you credit for obeying the sublime injunction of the poet, who says:

“Assume a virtue- if you have not.”

RULE THIRTY ONE.

Always have some joke ready which is intended to be a hit at woman. For instance if you see a lady eating a piece of tongue, you can remark that you are surprised to see her doing that, as you thought the ladies had already tongue enough.

Some such originals joke as this will impress a lady greatly in your favour, by convincing her that you are one of those commonplace, insipid creatures, whose intellect is down to the low level of woman’s, and that you will not, therefore, be likely ever to startle and annoy her, by propositions or conversations beyond the reach of her comprehension.

RULE THIRTY TWO.

You will do well to follow the example of a great many gentlemen, and practise killing ways before the looking-glass, which will be quite sure to give you a style as charming and fascinating as the manners of a monkey, while it will flatter the vanity of any sensible woman to see what pains you take to render yourself so honourably agreeable to her sex.

RULE THIRTY THREE.

Always talk a little doubtingly of female virtue, for that will show that you are virtuous yourself, and that you associate chiefly with a class of woman who cannot fail to be of great advantage to you in giving you proper, and sufficiently cautionary, ideas of the character of the sex.

RULE THIRTY FOUR.

Pretend that you are perfectly invulnerable to all the charms of woman, which will convince her that you are the most vulnerable and susceptible creature alive, and that you are always making love to every pretty woman you see, married or single.

This will show that your heart is as tender as though it was rotten, and that you would, therefore, make a most excellent and desirable husband.

RULE THIRTY FIVE.

Also, talk perpetually of your great caution as to what woman you associate with.

The louder your professions in this matter, the more you convince a sensible lady that you would make love even to your washer-woman, without regard to color, and that your wife, therefore, may reasonably expect to be relieved of a great deal of the persecution of a husband’s affections.

RULE THIRTY SIX.

Always complain that your lady acquaintances are too numerous, and absorb too much of your time, which will convince a discerning woman that you have not a single respectable female acquaintance except herself, and that she, therefore, has you all to herself, including all your pretensions and lies.

RULE THIRTY SEVEN.

If there is a beautiful married lady in your neighbourhood, you will, of course, try to flirt with her; and, as a preparatory step, you will cultivate the confidence and friendship of her husband, which is a most direct road to the affections of the wife;

For it will thoroughly apprise her of her designs, and then nothing will delight her more than to witness your efforts to impose upon her husband.

If she is worth flirting with, your success will be certain, and you will have the pleasure of being laughed at those adroit rascals who always avoid the friendship and even the acquaintance of a man, with whose wife they desire to flirt.

RULE THIRTY EIGHT.

It is a masterly stroke of policy of some young man to be always railing at matrimony- an example I advise you, by all means, to copy, for it will give you an opportunity of courting every pretty woman who comes in your way, without being suspected of any but the most unselfish and honourable intentions. A man who despises matrimony, and who avows his determination never to marry, has also a carte blanche to the home of every young lady; for the parents know there is no danger that he will ever steal way their daughter permanently in marriage, his object being only a temporary courtship.

RULE THIRTY NINE.

There is an insipid tribe of triflers, called “danglers” with whom women are very fond of diverting themselves in mock flirtations, when they have nothing better to do. They regard them as a class of beings beneath their monkeys, parrots, and lap-dogs; but, possessing the form, and, in some degree, the attributes of a man, they use them for pastime, and to practise themselves in the pleasant art of flirting. It will cost you but little pains to become one of these useful and happy beings.

RULE FORTY.

If you have made up your mind to strike a woman quite dead in love with you, fix your eyes amorously upon hers, and gaze fixedly and burningly into them, as though you were mesmerizing her. If you perceive that it is with difficulty she keeps from laughing in your face, or, if she turns away her face in scorn, as though she felt insulted, you must, by no means, relax your gaze, for these are clear signs that you are having your effect upon her. And if she sends for her father, or brother, to kick you out of the house, you may know that it is because she dares not longer trust herself in your fascinating presence.

RULE FORTY ONE.

What is called attitudinizing is a great game to play upon an intelligent and sensible woman- that is, to throw your body into a series of graceful pictures, or fascinating attitudes, which you must study before a mirror; and, as a lady will readily detect your skill and practice, she will at once bite at so tempting a bait, and set herself to win your heart, as sincerely as a spider spins a fine web to catch a fly, for she knows that all such insects are easily caught, and easily bled.

RULE FORTY TWO.

If you perceive that a lady is decidedly averse to receiving you, and actually flies from your presence, you should perpetually throw yourself under her nose, on the same principle that a horse is made to smell of a wheel-barrow to keep him from taking right at such an ugly machine.

RULE FORTY THREE.

Or, if a lady begins to shoe evident signs of weariness at your frequent calls, by all means double your attentions-call oftener, and stay longer, until you make yourself a fixture in her presence, like a dummy in the door- way of a haberdasher. This will soon do the business for you, and leave no possible grounds to doubt as to your real position in her affections.

RULE FORTY FOUR.

If a lady condescends to treat you with a little familiar and as agreeable as possible, which you may do by some such trick as sticking you segar almost into her eyes, to light it, or taking her finger to brush the ashes from the end of it; and if she should ask you why you do not use your own finger, you can reply by making a double nose, and say “ no you don’t,” which will strike her with admiration both for your wit and familiar good breeding.

RULE FORTY FIVE.

Nothing makes a gentleman appear to so great advantage as to be good at “small talk,” that is, to be able to prattle away for hours without saying anything.

If you have not this fascinating gift of gab yourself, you will do well to take along some help as Harper’s monthly picture-book, so that you can amuse the lady by studying the jokes to find out where the laughs come in.

If you should be unable t find any, you can make a joke yourself, by pulling the lady’s nose, and exclaiming “not as you nose-on;” and then, by laughing as loud as you can scream, you will prove that your unaided wit and genius have found a joke.

RULE FORTY SIX.

It is a delightful and sprightly species of wit, called big talk, which accomplished gentlemen sometimes indulge in, to entertain ladies by descriptions of mock adventures, such as riding an earthquake to water, drinking out of the milky-way, cutting a piece off the Brocken for a night-cap, catching a comet by the tail, or hunting for a calf’s head in the cell of a moon beam.

If , after you have delivered yourself of this matchless piece of sense and humor, the lady gravely asks if you had any difficulty in finding a calf’s head, you may know that she fully appreciates your genius, and that you have made an immense hit.

RULE FORTY SEVEN.

I advise you to study to perform a few pleasing and charming tricks in every lady’s presence, such as snatching her pocket-handkerchief out of her lap and throwing it upon the floor, and violently stamping upon it; and when she asks, with terror, what are you doing, reply that you are killing a wiper.

Or you can open the door on a winter’s night, and then astonish and delight her by asking if there are any pickles in it? And when she asks what you mean, reply, “Nothing, only I see it is a-jar.” A few such tricks as these will convince a lady that you would be as amusing in a house as a monkey, and therefore would be a great prize as a husband.

RULE FORTY EIGHT.

If you intend to call on a lady in the evening, do not neglect to drink liquor several times, and several kinds of it, during the day, for this will give spirits to your conversation, while it will enable you to perfume her whole house with a fragrance which can be equalled only by a scent that has now become very rare, in consequences of the scarcity of the animal that produces it.

RULE FORTY NINE.

Giggle and laugh perpetually- make fun, even of serious things; for that will show that your heart is as light as your head, and that grief is as great a stranger to the one as sense to the other.

RULE FIFTY.

If you have not the natural sprightliness and playfulness to enable you, to take advantage of these rules, take the other take, and be as surly as possible- that is, if you cannot be a puppy and frisk and bark, be an old dog and growl.

I found the hints to gentlemen on the art of fascinating, very funny; I especially liked rules 40 and 48. I always imagined the women of that generation to be naive but on the contrary, they knew exactly what they liked and disliked in there men. I also didn’t expect such humour in the form of sarcastic wit! (admin)

The Victorian were unsure why baldness occurred in women but what was obvious whilst reading this article is the upset and unhappiness it brings to the woman and the determination in finding a cure .(admin)

Warning – do not attempt to use any of the recipes given here. Consult a healthcare professional. avon katalog1.com or it’s owners or associates cannot be held responsible for any negative effects. This article is given for entertainment purposes only.

A remedy for weak and falling hair has been sought for by beautiful women, and by men too, with as much avidity as ever the mad enthusiast sought for the philosopher’s stone. I have known ladies who did nothing but to hunt recipes for baldness. The knowledge of all their friends, especially if they were physicians, was laid under perpetual contribution for light on the great subject of hair. I knew an old countess in Paris- or who was as least fearfully growing old- who become really a monomaniac on this subject; she used to rattle on about the “bulbs of the hair,” the “apex of the hair,” and talk as learnedly as a whole college of doctors of the various theories of the nature of the disease and the remedy. Some quack had recommended her to use caustic alkalies of soda or potash-which by the way I have known to be advised by physicians who ought to know better- which completely did the business for her head, for, they not only destroyed the reproductive power, but also the color of what hair they left upon her head.

So that this unhappy countess was not only hopelessly grey, but she was growing balder day by day, notwithstanding half a bushel of recipes which she had wrung from the skill of hundred doctors.

It is well known that Baron Dupnytren obtained world-wide fame for pomade which overcame the evil baldness in thousands of cases where it was applied. A celebrated physician in London gave an intimate friend of mine the following recipe which he assured her was really the famous pomade of Baron Dupuytren.

My friend found such advantage in its use that I was induced to copy it, and add it to my cabinet of curious recipes.

Boxwood shavings…………………6oz

Proof spirit………………………….12oz

Spirit of rosemary……………………2oz

Spirits of nutmegs…………………..1/2oz

The boxwood shavings should be left to steep in the spirits, at a room temperature of 60 degrees, for fourteen days, and then the liquid should be strained off, and the other ingredients mixed. The scalp to be thoroughly washed, or rubbed with this every night and morning.

A vulgar notion prevails that shaving the head once or twice is good thing to overcome the tendency towards falling hair. But it is a fatal error, which stands a fair chance of producing incurable baldness; as the hair is apt to be killed by being cut so near the roots. I knew a beautiful lady at Madrid who suffered this way.

I advise everybody who has weak hair to avoid wearing nightcaps, and to adopt in their place a net-cap, with coarse meshes, which allow the heat of the head to pass freely off.

Warning – do not attempt to use any of the recipes given here. Consult a healthcare professional. avon katalog1.com or it’s owners or associates cannot be held responsible for any negative effects. This article is given for entertainment purposes only.

No woman must rely on compounds and powders to prevent her hair turning grey. Temperance, moderation in all things, and frequent washings with pure cold water are the best recipes I can give her to prevent her hair from becoming prematurely grey. C. Sickness, we know often does it. But as far as I know, physiologists have failed to explain the reason of this change. We know the hair is a hollow tube, containing a fluid which gives it its color-which red hair is occasioned by a red fluid, and so all the varieties of color are owing to the variety of the color of this fluid. Nothing therefore can prevent the hair from turning white but the avoidance of all the causes which produce premature old age, or occasion local obstruction and disease of the hair itself. I have reason to believe that the injudicious use of the curling-irons, long kept up, will hasten this disease. The unnatural heat destroys the animal nature of the hair, and is liable to produce a disease of its colouring fluid.“>

An old and retired actress with whom I had met at Gibraltar, and who had a fine head of hair, far better preserved than the rest of her charms, was confident that she had warded off the approach of grey hair by using the following preparation whenever she dressed her head

Oxide of bismuth………………….4drps

Spermaceti…………………………4drps

Pure hog’s lard……………………4oz

The lard and spermaceti should be melted together,

and when they begin to cool stir in the bismuth. It may be perfumed to your liking.

Warning – do not attempt to use any of the recipes given here. Consult a healthcare professional. avon katalog1.com or it’s owners or associates cannot be held responsible for any negative effects. This article is given for entertainment purposes only.

There is no greater mistake than the profuse use of greases for the purpose of softening the hair. They obstruct the pores, the free action of which is so necessary for the health of the hair. No substance should be employed which cannot be readily absorbed by the vessels. These preparations make the hair dry and harsh, unless perpetually loaded with an offensive and disgusting amount of grease.

There was a celebrated beauty at Munich who had one of the handsomest heads of hair I ever beheld, and she used regularly to wash her head every morning with the following:

Beat up the white of four eggs into froth, and rub that thoroughly in close to the roots of the hair. Leave it to dry on. Then wash the head and the hair clean with a mixture of equal parts of rum and rose water.

This will be found one of the best cleansers and brighteners of the hair that was ever used.

There is a celebrated wash called “Honey Water” known to fashionable ladies all over Europe, which is made as follows:

Essence of Ambergris………………….1drp

Essence of musk………………………..1drp

Essence of bergamot……………………2drps

Oil of cloves…………………………….15drps

Orange-flower water……………………4oz

Spirits of wine…………………………..5oz

Distilled water…………………………..4oz

Al these ingredients should be mixed together, and left about fourteen days, then the whole to be filtered through porous paper, and bottled to use.

This is a good hair-wash and an excellent perfume. Yes I can imagine it smells yum! (admin)

But let the man or woman who is ambitious to have handsome hair, forget not that frequent and thorough brushing is worth all the oils and pomades that were ever invented.

Without a fine head of hair no woman can be really beautiful. A combination of perfect features, united in one person, would all go for naught without that crowing excellence of beautiful hair. Take the handsomest woman that ever lived-one with the finest eyes, a perfect nose, and expanded forehead, a charming face, and a pair of lips that beat the ripest and reddest cherries of summer- and shave her head, and what a fright would she be! The dogs would bark at and run from her in the street.

The same thing is true of man. How like a fool or a ruffian do the noblest masculine features appear if the hair of the head is bad? And, on the other hand, the most defective feature are more than half redeemed by a fine head of hair. Many a dandy, who has scarcely brains enough or courage enough to catch a sheep, has enslaved the hearts of a hundred girls with his Hyperion locks.

We ought, then, to be constantly impressed with the importance of hair as a chief ornament in beauty. It is every person’s business to be informed of the means of developing and preserving a luxurious growth of this handmaid of human charms.

And it is in the power of almost every person to have a good head of hair. But, by many, such a gift can be enjoyed only by great pains and constant attention to the laws of its growth and preservation. Hair left to take care of itself will revenge itself by making its possessor either common looking, or a monster of ugliness. Let the woman who is ambitious to be beautiful not forget this. I have known women, who had scarcely another charm to commend them, to carry off scores of hearts by a beautiful and beautiful head of hair.

The majority of my sex understands the art of dress no further than that “fine feathers make fine birds;” and hence the women dress more or less in bad taste. Washington Irving says, “In all ages the gentle sex have shown a disposition to infringe a little upon the laws of decorum, in order to betray a lurking beauty, or an innocent love of finery.”

This is certainly stating the thing very modestly; but seeing Mr. Irving is a bachelor, it is perhaps going as far as he has any right to do in this direction. It is the “love of finery,” however, which is the great source of the corruption of female taste in dress. It is this which loads “the lovely form of woman” without adorning it.

The first thing to be done in instructing a woman to dress well is to impress upon her that profusion in not grace. A lady may empty a merchant’s counter upon the person, and yet produce no other effect than to give herself the appearance of a porters baggage-wagon, loaded with all manners of trinkets.

A lady who dresses in such a manner as to attract attention to her dress is always badly dressed. A well-chosen dress so harmonises with the figure and the natural style of the lady as to leave the dress measurably unobserved. The object of dress should be to show off an elegant woman, and not elegantly dressed woman. And therefore, in simplicity, and a certain adaptation to your figure and complexion, all the secrets of good dressing lie.

But as beauty of form and complexion varies in different woman, and is still more various in different ages, so the styles in dress should assume characters corresponding with all these circumstances. Woman may take a lesson on dress from the garments which nature puts at the various seasons of the year. In the spring of youth, when all is lovely and gay, and the soft green, sparkling in freshness, bedecks the earth. The light and transparent robes, of brilliant color, may adorn” the limbs of beauty.” Especially if the maid posses the airy form of Mebe, a lightly flowing drapery is best suited to show such loveliness of her charms. This simple garb leaves to beauty all her empire. Let no furbelows, no heavy ornaments, load the figure, or distract the attention in its admiration of the lovely outlines.

The young woman of graver mien and more majestic form should select her apparel with reference to her different style of beauty. Her robes should always be long and more ample than those of her gayer sister. Their substance should be thicker and of a more sober color. White is considered becoming to all characters; but when color are worn, the lady majestic style should choose the fuller shades of purple, crimson, scarlet, or black. The best school to teach a woman taste in dress is the Pantheon of ancient Rome. First behold the lovely Hebe; her robes are like the air, her motion is on the zephyr’s wing. That may be woman’s style until she is twenty. Then comes the beautiful Diana. The chaste dignity of woman hood and intelligence pervades the whole form, and the very drapery which enfolds it, harmonizes with the modest elegance, the buoyant strength of ripened health, which gives elastity and grace to every limb. That is woman from twenty to thirty. Then comes Juno or Minerva, standing forth on the combined power of beauty and wisdom. 2At this period she gradually lays aside the flowers of youth, and arrays herself in the majestic of sobriety, or in the sober beauty of simplicity. Long ought to be the reign of this commanding epoch of woman’s age, for from thirty to fifty she may be respectably maintain her station on the throne of matron excellence,” and still be lawfully admired as a beautiful woman. But beyond this age, it becomes her to lay aside all her pretentions, and, by her” mantle of grey,” gracefully acknowledge her entrance into the “vale of years.” What can be more disgusting than a painted and be powered old woman,” just trembling on the brink of the grave, and yet a candidate for the flattery of men?”

Not only is it true that there is propriety in adapting a lady’s dress to the different seasons of her life, and the peculiar character of her figure, but there is a very great propriety in adapting the costliness of her dress to her pecuniary position in life. I know that in America all artificial distinctions of classes are happily laid aside; but the necessities which attach to pecuniary disabilities are not, and never can be overcome. Though it may be the right of every woman to dress as expensively as she can afford, yet is it good taste, is it consistent with her own self-respect, for the wife, or the daughter of a poor man to dress expensively, and imitate all the wasteful extravagances of the rich? Let every woman be forewarned that she cannot do it without drawing upon herself the inevitable suspicion that must cause a husband and a father to blush, even though the purple tinge never visits her own cheeks. Though she may be innocent, it is still bad taste to affect expenditures beyond her known means or income. There is fitness, and an inexpressible charm, in the sight of a woman who adapts her neat and modest attire to the circumstances of her life.

It is essential that every lady should understand that most beautiful and well dressed woman will fail to be charming unless all her other attractions are set off with a graceful and fascinating deportment. A pretty face may well be seen everywhere, beautiful and gorgeous dresses are common enough, but how seldom to we meet with a really beautiful and enchanting demeanor! It was this charm of deportment which suggested to the French cardinal the expression of “the native paradise of angels.” The first thing to be said on the art of deportment is that what is becoming at one age would be most improper and ridiculous at another. For a young girl, for instance, to sit as grave and stiff as “her grandmother cut in alabaster” would be ridiculous enough, but not so much so, as for an old woman to assume the romping merriment of girlhood. She would deservedly draw only contempt and laughter upon herself.

Not only woman’s age must be consulted, but her manners ought to harmonize with her shape and size, and the whole contour of her style. A deportment which would become a short and thick set woman would never do for one of at all and slender figure, and with a long neck and contracted waist. The woman of larger proportions may safely affect the majestic gait and air; but how absurd it would be for a tall and slender figure stiffens her joints, throw back her head, and march off with a military air? The character of these light forms corresponds with their resemblances in the vegetable world. He poplar, the willow, and the graceful lily, bend their gentle heads at every passing breeze, and their flexible and tender arms toss in the wind with motions of grace and beauty. Such is the woman of delicate proportions. She must enter a room either with the buoyant step of a young nymph, if youth is a passport to sportiveness; or, if she is advanced nearer the meridian of life, she may glide in with the ease of manner which gives play to all the graceful motions of her undulating form. For her to crane up her neck would change its swan like bend into the craggy throat of an ostrich. All her movements should be of an easy and flexible character. Her mode of salutation should be rather a bow than a courtesy, and when she sits, she should model her attitude after the style of half-recumbent ease, rather than according to the rules of the boarding school governess, who marshal their pupils on their chairs like a file of drilled recruits. The unassuming, easy, graceful air belongs exclusively to the slender beauty, and the moderated majestic mein to greater embonpoint.

But the least affectation or exaggeration in either of these styles would only end in bring the woman into contempt. The only safety is for a lady to be governed by those infallible ideas of moderate taste and delicacy, in which the sweetest mien always makes a woman charming. Modesty is to woman what the mantle of green is to nature-its ornament and highest beauty. What a miracle- working charm there is in a blush-what softness and majesty in natural simplicity, without which pomp is contemptible, and elegance itself ungraceful.

There can be no doubt that the highest incitement to love is in modesty. So well do wise women of the world know this, that they take infinite pains to learn to wear the semblance of it, with the same tact, and with the same motive, that they array themselves in attractive apparel. They have taken lessons from Sir Joshua Reynolds, who says “men are like certain animals, who will feed only when there is little provender, and that got at with difficulty through the bars of a rack; but refuse to touch it when there is abundance before them.” It is certainly important that all women should understand this, and it is no more fair that they should practise upon it, since men always treat them with disingenuous untruthfulness in this matter. Men may amuse themselves with a noisy, loud-laughing, loquacious girl; it is quiet, subdued, modest, and seeming bashful deport which is the one that stands the fairest chance of carrying off their hearts.

Warning – do not attempt to use any of the recipes given here. Consult a healthcare professional. avon katalog1.com or it’s owners or associates cannot be held responsible for any negative effects. This article is given for entertainment purposes only.

The foundation of a good head of hair ought undoubtedly to be laid down in infancy.

At this tender age, and through all the years of childhood, it should be worn short, be frequently cut, and never allowed to go a day without thorough brushing. It should also, every morning be washed at the roots with cold water. A damp sponge, rubbed thoroughly upon the scalp, will be sufficient. The practice of combing the heads of children too frequently with a fine tooth comb is a bad one, as the points of the teeth are quite sure to scratch and irritate the scalp, and are almost sure to produce scurf or dandruff.

Indeed, these rules, except as to the length of the hair, are quite applicable to adults as children. The ladies of my acquaintance, who have been most, celebrated for the beauty of their hair, usually made a practice of thoroughly cleansing its roots every morning with a damp sponge. Nor would they venture to neglect the frequent use of the brush. Indeed, the coarsest, most refractory and snarly locks can be subdued, and made comparatively soft and glossy by the use of the brush alone. Constant brushing is the first rule to subdue coarse and brittle hair.

And the morning is the best time for an extended application of the brush, because the hair is naturally more supple then any other time. This practice, thoroughly preserved in, will gradually tame down the porcupine head, unless there is some scurfy disease of the scalp, in which case the following wash will be found a quite sure remedy:-

Salts of tartar………………….3 drachms

Tincture of cantharides………..15drops

Spirits of camphor……………..15drops

Lemon juice……………………1/2 pint

In preparing this wash, the salts should be dissolved in the lemon juice, till the effervescence ceases, and then add the other ingredients; and, after letting the whole remain exposed to the air for half an hour, it may be perfumed and bottled for use. This is one of the best and most harmless washes for the hair I have ever known. I am certain that a lady or gentleman has but to try it to be convinced of its efficacy. But let me impress upon you the importance of brushing as a cardinal means of beautifying tour hair. Brush not one minute, but ten-not once a day, but two, or three, or four times a day.

Two brushes are indispensable for the toilet-one for the rough use of cleaning the hair, and the other for polishing it. A black brush should be used for the former, and a white one for the latter. Ladies need not to be told that washing spoils the brushes. The best way to clean them is to rub them thoroughly with bran, which removes all the grease, and leaves the bristles stiff and firm as ever. When the bristle of a brush becomes limber for use, they may be hardened again by dipping them in one part of spirits of ammonia, and two of water. This will also thoroughly cleanse them from all greasy substances.

Warning – do not attempt to use any of the recipes given here. Consult a healthcare professional. avon katalog1.com or it’s owners or associates cannot be held responsible for any negative effects. This article is given for entertainment purposes only.

One of the most powerful auxiliaries of beauty is a fine, well trained voice. Indeed, one of the most fascinating women I ever knew had scarcely any other charm to recommend her.

She was a young countess in Berlin, who had dull eyes, a rough skin, with dingy complexion, coarse, dull hair, and a dumpy form. But she has an exquisite voice, which charmed everybody who heard it. Ugly as she was, she was called “the syren,” from the fascinating sweetness of her voice.

And with an infallible instinct that she had but a single charm, she had cultivated that until she had bought it to the utmost perfection. Words fell like charmed music from her lips. And then, besides the discipline she had given her voice, she had made herself master of the art of conversation. In this respect, every woman’s education is sadly neglected. Had I a daughter, the first thing I would teach her, in the way of artificial accomplishment, would be, that to converse charmingly is a far greater accomplishment to a lady than music and dancing.

A woman who can converse well is always sure to command respect and admiration in any society. By this, I, of course, don’t mean a vicious abundance of words, and rapid volubility of tongue, for these are things which my sex sometimes too easily acquires. Good conversation does not mean the art of talking, but, the art of talking well. How few ladies have it! How few have ever been taught that good talking is as much an art as good singing? It is the voice; after all, more than words, that gives the finest and clearest expression to the passions and sentiments of the soul.

The most correct and elegant language loses all its beauty with a bad or ill-trained voice. The exhilaration of mirth, the profound sighs of sadness, the tenderness of love, the trembling interrupted sobbing of grief, all depends upon the voice for the effect upon the character and the heart. A bad talker is as great a bore as a bad singer or a bad reader. Indeed, to be charming in conversation implies a perfect knowledge of the rare and difficult art of reading. I call it rare and difficult, not only from the nature of the art itself, but also from the lack of competent teachers. There are a thousand good teachers of the art of singing, where there is one of the art of reading.

The teachers of elocution are generally decayed actors or professors, who are worse than incompetent, for they, in nine cases out of ten, get their pupils into pedantic, affected, and unnatural habits, which are thousand times worse than the natural awkwardness. The best advice I can give a lady on this subject is- unless she knows a teacher who has an exquisite voice and style- to practise herself in reading aloud, and training her voice to express the most happy and delightful ideas by soft and appropriate tones. She may think herself happy if she requires perfection in this exquisite art by two years of unwearied pains and study. And she may be sure that the accomplishment is cheaply bought at whatever expense.

Though it is true that a beautiful mind is the first thing requisite for a beautiful face, yet how much more charming will the whole become through the aid of a fine complexion?

It is not easy to overrate the importance of complexion. The features of a Juno with a dull skin would never fascinate. The forehead, the nose, the lips, may all be faultless in size and shape; but still, they can hardly look beautiful without the aid of a bright complexion.

Even the finest eyes lose more than half their power, if they are surrounded by an inexpressive complexion. It is in coloring or complexion that the artist shows his great skill in giving expression to the face.

Overlooking entirely the matter of vanity, it is the woman’s duty to use all the means in her power to beautify and preserve her complexion. It is fitting that the “index of the soul” should be kept clean and bright and beautiful as possible.

All that I have said in chapters in the previous articles will apply also to the subject of this one. A stomach frequently crowed with greasy food, or with artificial stilulants of any kind, will in a short time spoil the brightest complexion. All excesses tend to do the same thing. Frequent ablution with pure water, followed by gentle and frequent rubbing with a dry napkin, is one of the best cosmetics ever employed.

It is amusing to reflect upon the tricks which vain beauties will resort to in order to obtain this paramount aid to female charms. Nor is it any wonder that woman should exhaust all her resources in this pursuit, for her face is such a public thing, that there is no hiding the least deformity in it. She can, to some extent, hide an ugly neck, or shoulder, or hand, or foot-but there is no hiding-place for an ugly face.

I knew many fashionable ladies in Paris who used to bind their faces, every night on going to bed, with thin slices of raw beef, which said to keep the skin from wrinkles, while it gives a youthful freshness and brilliancy to the complexion. I have no doubt of its efficacy. The celebrated Madam Vestris used to sleep every night with her face plastered up with a kind of paste to ward off the threatening wrinkles, and keep her charming complexion from fading. I will give the recipe for making the Vestris’ paste for the benefit of any of my readers whose looking-glass warns them the dimness and wrinkles of age are extinguishing the roses of youth:

The whites of four eggs boiled in rose-water, half an oz of alum, half an oz of oil of sweet almonds; beat the whole together till it assumes the consistence of a paste.

The above, spread upon a silk or muslin mask, and worn at night, will not only keep back the wrinkles and preserve the complexion fair, but it is a great remedy where the skin becomes too loosely attached to the muscles, as it gives firmness to the parts. When I was last in Paris (1857) I was shown a recent invention of ready made masks for the face, composed of fine thick white silk, lined, or plastered, with some kind of fard, or paste, which is designed to beautify and preserve the complexion. I do not know the component parts of this preparation; but I doubt if it is any better that the recipe which was given to me by Madam Vestris, and which I have given above. This trick is entirely French that there is little danger of its getting into general practice in this country. In Bohemis I have seen the ladies flock to arsenic springs and drink the waters, which gave their skins a transparent whiteness; but there is a terrible penalty attached to this folly; for when once they habituate themselves to the practice, they are obliged to keep it up the rest of their days, or death would speedily follow. The beauties of the court of George I. were in the habit of taking minute doses of quicksilver to obtain a white and fair complexion; and I have read in Pepys’s Diary of some ridiculous scenes which occurred at dancing parties from this practice. Some young girls of the present day sometimes eat such things as chalk, slate, and tea grounds to give themselves a white complexion. I have no doubt that this is a good way to get a pale complexion; for it destroys the health, and surely drives out of the natural roses of beauty, and instead of a bright complexion produces a wan and sickly one. Every young girl ought early to be impressed that whatever destroys health spoils her beauty.

The most remarkable wash for the face which I have ever known, which is said to have known to the beauties of the court of Charles II, Is made of a simple tincture of benzoin precipitated by water. All you have to do in preparing it is to take a small piece of gum benzoin and boil it in spirits of wine till it becomes a rich tincture. Fifteen drops of this, poured into a glass of water, will produce a mixture which will look like milk, and emits a most agreeable perfume.

This delightful wash seems to have the effect of calling the purple streams of the blood to the external fibres of the face and gives the cheeks a beautiful rosy color. If left on the face to dry, it will render the skin clear and brilliant. It is also an excellent remedy for spots, freckles, pimples, and eruptions, if they have not been of long standing.

Warning – do not attempt to use any of the recipes given here. Consult a healthcare professional. avon katalog1.com or it’s owners or associates cannot be held responsible for any negative effects. This article is given for entertainment purposes only.