NW London is Schvitzing!!!!!!!!

Fri 19th July, 2013

Have you heard?? The Israelis have been coming to London to get some sunshine!

That’s right my boobalahs, London is having a heatwave and everyone I know is schvitzing. Can you believe it??? Of all places, London is having hotter weather than Israel and Miami! And you guessed it, NW London Jews aren’t exactly the best when it comes to handling hot temperatures – or any temperatures for that matter: “I’m too hot, I’m too cold, I think I’m coming down with something.”

The ways Jews handle the heat

• They complain – after all it’s therapeutic. They say things like “oy vey it’s so hot, I’m schvitzing!”
• They go shopping … no queues and everything’s air conditioned!
• They go on holiday – they didn’t think there was going to be any sun so they booked a holiday abroad even though the weather is hotter in London! DUFFKA!
• They wear sunglasses 24/7 and it seems like Raybans have just become another must-have accessory of the Jews.

Feel like a schluff

Your everyday person loves this heat. They dress down, go to the pub and they don’t complain. But if you’re a tribe member, all you want to do is have a schluff.
But no! You cant schluff! It’s still light outside! And it’s way too hot. When you finally go to bed, you can’t sleep and then the sweat has made you superglued to your sheets – Schmutz City!

How to handle the heat

If you’re part of the Hampstead and St John’s Wood crowd and you have the privilege of air conditioning, PLEASE IGNORE THE BELOW
Everyone has their own way of keeping cool. We have the fans going in my house and we even stick ice packs on the fans to keep the air super cool. I never quite understood why we have fans that rotate – by the time it gets to you, it leaves again!

One of the hardest things is keeping your pet cool because after all, they have a furry coat on them. Here is some inspiration!

(I think the rubber ducks are a delightful touch!)

My advice

Maybe lay off the chicken soup this week and go for some old fashioned Jewish Mum of the Year-inspired gazpacho soup!!! Also, you complain now that it’s too hot, but it won’t be long before we’re complaining that it’s rainy and cold again …

G-d Bless you my boobalahs,
The Jewish Mother

Good luck Team GB!!!

A very special mention goes to Team Great Britain competing in this 19th Maccabiah in Israel. Over 9,000 Jews from 81 countries are taking part and hopefully they’re going to bring us back some nachas!!

Comments

I absolutely agree with you about the weather, we North London Inzera are not used to such climates, unless we are on holiday in Marbella etc. If the weather was not hot there, we would complain and say what a lousy holiday we had. Most of us are disappointed that we have booked holidays this week and could have stayed at home for the sun. Still that’s Britain for you.

Here are a list of fors and againsts for the hot weather that I have compiled:-

1. For: We get to use all our white summer clothes for a few weeks.
Against: But who gets to do all the washing – eh!

2. For: We can hang our washing out and it is dry in no time.
Against: Who wants to stay at home and do washing anyway and then
we have to iron it and that is a really hot job.

3. For: We can actually sit in our gardens and enjoy the summer.
Shlap out all the garden furniture.
Against: The sun is so hot we can’t actually sit out in it!
4. For: We could use our Barbeques for once a year.

Against: But that is an extra thing to clean OY VAY!

5. For: We can take the grandchildren go out for a drive somewhere
nice.
Against: The car is boiling hot, we have to give them copious amounts
of water to keep them cool.

6. For: We can have cold meals if necessary.
Against: Except Friday night when we can’t really get away with it.
Everyone still wants their roast chicken.

7. For: The coolest places to shop are Brent Cross and Watford. So we
tend to shop there.
Against: Why are we wasting the day shopping when it’s so lovely
outside?

8. For: At least we have fans at home so we bring them all out of
the garage.
Against: For all the good they do, just circulating the heat and
with two on in the bedroom, we feel like we are sleeping in
oven. Still we could always have air-con fitted, but
its hardly worth it in this country for the couple of hot
weeks we get a year.

I’m sure many of you can think of loads for fors and againsts, for the hot weather.