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As I sat down to write this column in Java Jones, I looked to the couches on my left. A man using a plastic garbage bag as a poncho sat there, slumped over and covered in discarded CDs and papers-he looked as though he hadn’t had a shower and a clean night’s sleep in at least a week. He roused and confusedly rubbed his face in the “what the hell is going on” kind of way, then closed his eyes to return to whatever dreamland he came from.

Homeless people aren’t an uncommon sight around Isla Vista. When I first came into the coffeehouse, I hardly even noticed that a homeless man was catching some zzz’s on the couch-the very couch where I would sit if no one was occupying the spot. I’m not grossed out when I pass by someone using the street as a semi-permanent home the way I would have before I moved here because now I see those people everywhere. The transients in Isla Vista are one of its more permanent features (how’s that for irony, Alanis?).

Some linger in the laundromat next to Isla Vista Market and Sweet Alley. Some wander from party to party, killing wounded soldiers (which are half-drunk beers, not actual military personnel). Some-scratch that, a lot-post up in Anisq’ Oyo’ park.

No discussion of the homeless issues in I.V. is complete without a mention of Pirate, the most famous homeless man in all of I.V. history. Pirate can smoke a cigarette out of his eye while shamelessly hitting on girls like nobody’s business. Why the name “Pirate”? He sports a patch over his right eye and a bandana around his head, and swaggers around the city in a way that could only be described as pirate-like.

About a year ago, he sort of disappeared from the city. Murmurs of people asking, “where is Pirate?” floated around, their voices sprinkled with concern. After all, he’s become such an idol that people notice when he’s gone; even though his normally altered state is something to be troubled about on its own, his absence is abnormal and even more worrisome. When I chatted with Lt. Brian Olmstead of the I.V. Foot Patrol (IVFP) about the general state of I.V. a few months back, Pirate naturally came up in conversation. He said the IVFP had always been concerned about Pirate’s health, and had convinced him to get some kind of help. For a while, Pirate was clean and off the streets in some sort of facility. But once he was out, the allure of I.V.-the way he could get drunk so easily, the way he was so famous from DP to Picasso, the way people loved him and called out for him-drew him back to alcoholism, and homelessness.

I left that particular conversation feeling guilty. After all, I’ve been one of those people who shouted out at Pirate to tell me a joke, who gave one of the homeless people walking along the beach one of my beers. For me, these encounters have been fleeting moments of entertainment. But for them, it’s been their lives. Forgetting the brutality of reality is the name of their game, whether it be passing out in the park or putting on a persona and dancing for cheering audiences. How selfish of me to play into that and encourage it.

The issue of homelessness is one that should be solved in I.V. Well, duh. I’ve probably never written a less controversial sentence in this column. The issue is-as is always true with public problems-that there’s no easy way to fix it. Build a homeless shelter at the bottom of the loop? Sure, but then we’ll need funding for that, and we all know how much the county loves to give us money. Plus, the cynic in me worries that a possible shelter might draw homeless people from around Santa Barbara, and California in general, to our little town. Push I.V. residents to stop paying attention and giving alcohol to the homeless people? Yeah, there are rational residents who already do these things. But, the other problem is that I.V. has its fair share of a-holes.

Despite the lack of a concrete solution, we could at least stop treating the homeless people as if they were objects and start treating them like people (which should be easy, since they are). They’re not just something to gawk and laugh at on DP. Until someone solves the homelessness problem-which I’m not holding my breath for-we could, at the very least, be compassionate

Comments

Prejudice is still alive and well in our "progressive" culture, and people who are homeless find themselves the butt of jokes in media and elsewhere. I remember when people with "will work for food" signs appeared on freeway offramps, late-night talk show hosts would make jokes based on "will work for..." (fill in the blank)

Let's not forget that if we fancy ourselves to be an enlightened society, this means fair treatment of *everyone*, and not just those fortunate enough to have a roof over their heads.

May I point out one thing to you; the excellent suggestion you made at the end of your article to "at least stop treating the homeless people as if they were objects and start treating them like people" would be much easier to do if you (and others) were to begin by referring to homeless people as people, and not "transients".

A homeless resident, such as "Pirate" and the other familiar faces are not "transient" in any sense; they live there. They just happen to live outdoors, conducting their entire existences outdoors. This includes their drink and drugs addictions, and other things that are traditionally conducted in private.

UCSB students can booze it up behind closed doors, and if they do it outside, it's voluntary. Because they have the money (from whatever source, though usually their parents) to drink and drug themselves in their overpriced IV crackerboxes, that's OK. Nary a word is said.

Let a person find himself homeless...for ANY reason...and he is suddenly a "transient" (not a human being...but a state of impermanance) and must be routed out, moved on, corralled, ear-tagged and herded into a "facility".

We humans are very effective at creating ways to sell the public on revolting ideas such as rounding up and warehousing other humans. We've done it many times throughout history with "undesirables" we don't want in our midst. This is not new behavior.

After all, we're trying to "help the transients" while at the same time creating a sanitized world where we don't have to look at homeless people and thus, not have to face the fact that our economy is broken and actually has been for a very much longer time than we care to admit.

You are very very close to the truth here, Nicki. Keep digging, you will be gutted by what you learn, but you may be able to help bring about a favorable change for the homeless Isla Vistans you see daily.

Those who don't like living rough (and like it or not folks, they ARE the majority) may find themselves able to secure decent housing (not a shelter or warehouse situation) and not find themselves shuttled into programs with 6-figure directors and paid administrators all profiting off homelessness.

Thank you for taking the time to write this. Just lose the "transient" label, because it is inaccurate, and inhumane.

Pirate is not the most "famous" homeless man in Isla Vista history, only one of the most annoying and obnoxious denizens of Desolation Row. From the 70s and 80s I remember "The Mayor" and Leprechaun, Hizoner dying from a heroin overdose in the early 90s, and Lep finding shelter thanks to a priest at the Greek Orthodox Church.

UCSB WITH ALL THIER MONEY SHOULD BUILD A SHELTER FOR THESE PEOPLE. FOOD AND BEER WOULD ALSO BE APPRECIATED. EACH ONE COULD PICK A NAME FOR THEMSELVES. 1. DOG2. PICKER3. MOSEY4. OVER #3 & #4 WOULD BE GOOD FOR TWO FREINDS5. BUTT BREATH6. BUTT MAN7. DEAD SOLIDER8. HERMIT9. SAD STORYTHIS ALL USCB'S FAULT. THEY HAVE BUILT ON EVERY SQUARE INCH OF LAND AROUND IV. THIS HAS FORCED THE HOMELESS TO MOVE TO PUBLIC AREAS. SHAME ON THE DEAN. SHAME ON US FOR ALLOWING UCSB TO DO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE IN THE NAME THE MILITARY COMPLEX. WE ARE NO BETTER THAN CHINA

Isla Vista has always been a place that welcomes everyone, whether they pay rent or not. We have beautiful organic parks, beaches, a co-op, great festivals, a wonderful elementary school, all that UCSB has to offer and many caring residents who frequent our local businesses.. If you come to IV, leave your car somewhere else and bike, walk, bus, or get a ride here - there is no room for any more cars, and once a car is parked it doesn't need to be moved for days because you don't need to drive around here. Please come out here and support our merchants. We have had a long redevelopment and are now open for business! Burritos, biking and Chilla Vista - sounds like a great weekend!