Wednesday, March 2, 2011

As I gazed out of the window, I wondered how long we were destined to remain in this place on top of a mountain. I wondered if I should pursue friendships or remain silent while we waited to see where life took us. Fortunately friendships came regardless of my wishes and our life here on the mountain became a routine of insanity for me. The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months... many times if it had not been for a very good friend, I might have thought life was not worth living. I absolutely could not understand why we were here and for what purpose we must stay. I started pondering just what my lifes purpose was and that made me more upset with my life here. I struggle knowing I am here for a reason, and yet not knowing the specifics is like standing in the rain waiting for SOMEONE to bring you an umbrella. I must admit, parts of my existence here are hell on earth. I am slowly learning many people are going through the same process in their lives. Uncertainty about residences,relationships,jobs,money, and just plain unrest!! Unrest is the only word I can describe the past months of my life. I feel as if all I know and have ever known makes no difference in how I feel, and yet I feel the storm approaching before the beautiful sun peeks through the clouds of my life, and the warmth of the sun on my skin makes me forget all the months of hurt and unrest. Life is ready to unfold and as I reach out I know I will finally feel the energy this storm has been gathering.