Tuesday, February 24, 2009

To those who are ready to move on: Back to regular cinema soon. Stick around.To those who can never get enough Oscar: I'll wean you away gently until the 2009 contest begins in a month and you know I'll drop the Oscar talk back in when appropriate. Stick around.In short: Stick around.

This Oscar fashion roundup is dedicated to Billy Idol. For apparently Sunday in LA was a "nice day for white wedding". Remember that year when everyone wore champagne dresses to SAG and how irritating it was that all the actresses looked the same? Does Hollywood's army of stylists have spies in each other's camps or are they operating in strict adherence to pack rules. Perhaps they're a lycan society with an Alpha Dog stylist residing somewhere deep in the Hills, howling at the full moon monthly as it reflects off the Hollywood sign.

What was with all the white?

As far as I know Amy Adams is the only star that's about to get married and she was in red!

Rather than do a whole 'nother permanent page at the mainsite I thought we'd just finish the wrap up here with photos. Some of my bests may be your worsts but that's the way it goes with fashion (and acting, actually, as the annual wars over the Oscar shortlists attest)

I'm ignoring the men this time 'round. I didn't mean to and there were lots of sharp dressed men and one handsome boy who could just as easily have been starring in a Gus Van Sant picture as writing it (Dustin Lance Black) but time is short and I really need to put this year's Oscars in the rearview mirror.

I'm not quite sure about this...Actually all of these goddesses look beauteous. But we're not talking A+ Oscar wear. The Doubt actresses (Amy Adams, Meryl Streep, Viola Davis) look better as a trio, all earth and fire and well matched. Probably the point... great for photo ops. But apart from each other the outfits were a little busy (Amy... but I actually love the huge necklace) plain (Meryl) or risky (Viola). Perhaps I should explain: I love the gold dress and the woman inside it but unless you're a lock to win, I always think that color is asking for trouble. That statue looms large you know.

It was nice to see Bridget Fonda and Phoebe Cates dolled up again but something is missing in both cases...and not just their careers (har dee har har)

What are you wearing?

Beyoncé's a little teapot, short and stout. Why is she always there? You don't see Amy Adams at the Grammy's every year? Robin Swicord's color choices and pattern (!) are disturbing me... even more than her screenwriting for Memoirs of a Geisha and Benjamin Button did. Heidi Klum usually makes best dressed lists but there was something atrociously busy about this number. Nice color on her (which color isn't?) but all the cut outs and sharp angles and then all the bangles. Any of the elements are okay on their own but all together?, Miley Cyrus has been at the Oscars two years in a row and... I... I... don't understand. Or I don't want to understand. And we'll wrap up with Mary Hart. She never leaves the house without a frozen smile. Even if she forgot to buy a new dress or iron an old one to go with it.

YUMMY...

My choices for best dressed are the always ravishing Nicole Kidman (love the feather and shiny details which rescue this from being another boring white dress, Freida Pinto (Latikaaaaaa!) in blue and that sleeve is a beauty, Leslie Mann because her dress reminds me of a disco ball and I've been totally on a 70s kick (I blame Milk) and there's something about her whole look, hair, attitude and all that screams decadent/sexy/underestimated woman. Amanda Seyfried continues to be awesome, despite Mamma Mia! And finally there's my girlfriend Marisa Tomei. I have nothing to say about the dress but to tell you that Nick describes it perfectly on the upcoming podcast. From the back it's even more deconstruct as if the strap was barely hanging on to itself to keep the entire dress together.

My favorites were Amanda Seifreid, for just being ravishing and lovely and amazing, not so much for the dress, but the dress was lovely, and Marion Cottilard (dreamy dress), and Freida Pinto, and Halle Berry. Breathtaking each one, and in a lovely dress.

Amy Adams had a perfect dress and a wild necklace but they should have been separated like naughty kids making too much noise in the back of the car.

Jessica Biel was a nightmare! She, what? Got the dinner napkin and tablecloth stuck in her blouse? What!

Almost as bad was Reese Witherspoon. The lovely black & blue on Marion was ruined by weird, distressing asymmetry on Reese. Plus her too-dark makeup with that dress made her face look black & blue.

Hated Heidi's hair, too.

Everyone on E! Fashion Police loved Natalie Portman, and I did too, until she presented and I realized those sparkly insets looked like eyes. Weird sparkly breast-eyes gleaming at me while she was onstage. Not a pretty thought.

I'm with the camp that Winslet's dress grows on you (I also loved the hair). And I'm sure it's even more elegant up close (does not apply to Reese's dress, though similar in color/concept). Marisa's, on the other hand, is gorgeous from a distance; but upon closer inspection, you see a lot of uneven bunching, which I thought distracted from the structural look. Nitpicking, of course, since they are all beautiful.

Loved Nicole (the dress compliments her fair skin perfectly). And I thought Natalie pulled off a really tough color (pink), and made it look gorgeous.

not so much: Kate Winslet. She looked too matronly in that dress and with that hair. There is a picture with her standing next to Marion and you wouldn't believe that they're only a few weeks apart age wise, that's much older Kate looks.

hate:Beyonce. If she's going to represent her own fashion line then why not choose something that looks good?Reese W. It's not so much the dress alone, it's the dress on her. On someone taller with a less angular face it might have worked. And she's a cutie but sure no beauty.

Reese Witherspoon's dress was a hot mess. If you must present Best Director, at least look awesome doing it. Jessica Biel's napkin dress was horrible. I don't know what the thought processes were there with that dress.

Halle, Nicole, Marion, Kate, Taraji, Amy, Viola, Anjelica, and ANGELINA looked stunning. It was so fierce when Nicole was preenting to Angelina. Whew, I could hardly stand it!

Oscar brides! That graphic was hilarious. Get your act together, stylists! No one wants to see a bunch of white dresses that drowns out all of these pale actresses on the red carpet. Evan Rachel Wood looked like a ghost on Sunday, and it could have been avoided.

Oh god, MARISA MARISA MARISA! The train is what made it. Also, Anne's red carpet dress! But not the one she wore inside for the musical number (the one she could actually sit in).

Also really liked Nicole although a bit too similar to Cotillard last year, but her hair was great and she looked divine. No shiny forehead!

Why did Miley Cyrus look as old as Dustin Lance Black really is and DLC look as old as... well, he definitely doesn't look 16, but a good ten years younger than his age. Nat, if mormon teenagers look like that then I should've signed up years ago. Also, they must be taking steroids and growth drugs because I've never seen a teenager look like that (unless it's in the movies or on TV, obviously)

Nicole's dress was pretty. But minus points for the scary frozen face. Sorry- I think she looks creepy.

Best dressed goes to Marissa and Taraji. Halle looked beautiful, but I can't recall her dress. Most beautiful of the night I have to say was Angelina. She was breathtaking. The dress, the jewels, and that face.Natalie Portman looked stunning too.

I also LOVED Streep's dress cut/shape, and hair. She looked like the goddess she was; definite improvement over the '06 dress. But the color was very drab. I couldn't tell whether it was plain grey or brownish (looked different in different light), but regardless, it wasn't great. That dress in a nice amber would've been perfect. Even white would've been great. But not dull grey.

I also have mixed feelings on Winslet's dress. On the one hand, it does look matronly, is not flattering to her figure, and seems to be weighing her down (literally). Strange. But on the other hand, it has a sophisticated roman statue kinda feel, the hair is very daring, and it seems to somehow suit her film/role (very somber and European). It has grown on me some since I first saw it (I've watched Winslet's speech MANY times).

I was seriously annoyed by all the white too... I said 'If Hathaway walks out onto the carpet in white, I'm going to be pissed'. Even though it was a nice dress, she gets put in my 'Meh' section just for being so bland. She's young and hot and her skin is porcelain. SAY IT WITH ME ANNE-- JEWEL. TONES.

I loved Cruz's white dress, because of all the details, plus she's a little more tan than Ms. Hathaway- that really was a winner's dress... Ditto Taraji P. Henson, she looked regal, and the white CONTRASTED with her skin.

I loathe Natalie Portman, but for me, she's never looked better. Would easily put Evan Rachel Wood up there under best if it was, again, not the same color as her skin.

There were very few true offenders, but a lot of 'mehs' for me. As for the guys, Robert Downey Jr. really needs to always shave. He looked hot.

Viola Davis (bit traditional, but stunning on her)Phoebe Cates (I liked the color and it looked great on her)Natalie Portman (the color was beautiful and it was formal without being cumbersome - she seemed so comfortable!)Anne Hathaway (the silver sheath on the red carpet)

Half & Half dresses:

Melissa Leo (top half looked fine - loved the color matching her hair - but from the waist down it wasn't flattering)Frieda Pinto (loved the color but the lace combined with the big ruffle at the bottom was too much!!)Amanda Seyfried (liked the color but it almost looked to big for her - she seemed a bit swallowed up in her dress - and I hated the hemline with the bow and the neckline)Marisa Tomei - (loved the concept, loved the pleats but it was way too much dress - from the knees down it looked ungainly)Heidi Klum (it almost worked)

Worst Dresses:

Jessica Biel (hello?)Miley Cyrus (the belt? the open back? all those shiny scales? It did look like something a little girl would pick out, though - a 5-year old girl)Tilda Swinton - (maybe on someone else this dress would look cool but Tilda looked totally washed out in it - did not look good on camera)Kate Winslet - (matronly and busy - but see below)Robin Swicord (now that takes balls to wear to the Oscars!)Mary Hart (almost in the Robin Swicord vein!)

I said "WHAT THE F*CK?" when I saw Winslet for the first time. It was like an old lady's dress! But the more I stared at it the more I loved it. The whole set was perfect and it was a winner look. The dress is pretty amazing, even if I usually prefer her showing more skin and being more sexy. Her electric blue SAG dress was my favorite Winslet look this awards season (even if I think it wasn't an Oscar dress). She was STUNNING in it.