Today in Star Wars rumors: The Internet searches its feelings, senses there will be a Yoda movie [UPDATED]

The matter of J.J. Abrams directing Episode VII has already been settled, but here on the Internet luminous beings we are, not this crude matter. We must unlearn what we have learned, and let go of what we know cannot be done—such as someone making an entire film about Yoda, a character who is mostly dead and not necessarily anyone’s first choice to spend an entire two hours with. But Ain’t It Cool News’ Harry Knowles used his feelings to learn that Disney is making a film about Yoda, filing this report full of appropriately garbled syntax claiming Yoda will be the first in an entire slate of planned standalone Star Wars features that only he can see. Of course, Knowles doesn’t say where he got this information, because rest he needs… Yes. Rest.

Why Yoda? There is no why. Clear your mind of questions. “Where’s Frank Oz? Giggle. Gotta love chasing Star Wars stories!” Knowles adds tauntingly, for he knows you have no patience as he also casually wonders aloud about Joe Johnston wanting to make a Boba Fett film and how he’s “heard tale of a Jabba story that Lucas has floated to some of his buddies”—clouded, rambling, dark paths that lead only to anger, hatred, and suffering. Will any of these ever actually happen? Will they die? Difficult to see, for always in motion is the future and the rumor mill of Star Wars stories. Nothing more will the Internet teach you today.

UPDATE: Sensing a disturbance somehow distinguishable from the near-constant disturbance the Disney/Lucasfilm merger created, CEO Bob Iger clarified today, again, that, yes, there will be standalone Star Wars films appearing alongside the main Episodes VII-IX over the next six years, just as has been rumored pretty much ever since the company first suggested it would take a Marvel-like approach to the franchise. He also confirmed those earlier reports that Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg are working on those standalone character films. He did not, however, say anything more than that, particularly about which characters those films will focus on. Star Wars fans will only know this when they are calm, at peace, passive—in other words, not for a long, long time.