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Friday, 4 October 2013

No wonder it's called Great Britain

Sometimes I'm very, very bad at keeping up to date with people. I don't think living away from civilisation has helped me much, either. The super-chilled lifestyle of India doesn't require a phone, nor does it require constant internet contact with my friends and the rest of the world. I could quite happily have spent a week oblivious to what was going on outside of Eranhimavu (the town in which I was located), concerned only with teaching the little ones my favourite topic of 'opposites' ("Big big big! Small small small!" Accompanied with a variety of actions; I looked a prize fool).

I would have packed this cutie into my suitcase to take home if that wasn't completely illegal.

So, understandably, it was quite a big shock coming back to the 'normality' of the UK. After the longest three months of my entire life, I eventually took a coach back to the location of my airport in Kerala (not an experience I'd like to repeat, ten hours on Indian roads is more than enough), spending a day on the beach (mostly getting hassled by a guy trying to sell me marijuana; "Lady wants a smoke? I think lady likes a smoke") and getting the most brilliant tan lines of my life - the lines halfway down my calves is all the rage now, didn't you know? - then getting driven to the entirely wrong airport, I was so ready to get back onto English soil.

All of my experiences have culminated in me finding it amazing to spend all day on Facebook/Twitter/Internet Shopping Sites and believe it or not, my online module pages for uni. My lack of phone use I am also blaming on India. I still stuck with the snazzy little Sony Ericsson that looks like something someone's grandparent would own (whipping it out at uni is one of the best things - who needs an iPhone when you have this little bad boy?). This little blog has suffered a serious case of neglect too. I need to start compiling my India experiences, and writing a little bit about them.

My lovely third standard girlies.

I'll make a list.

These are a couple of the many crazy things that happened to me in the mad world that is Asia...

- I've had far too many marriage proposals, none of which I accepted, but I did have a running joke with my Dad about an Indian man I made up called Raj.

- I got headbutted by a cow on my bottom.

- I tried so many different foods, some good, some bad, some having the end result of projectile vomiting.

- I had someone throw up on my feet on the bus. Mmm rice and curry on my toes!

- I made loads of amazing friends, especially this one mad lady that goes by the name of Lucy.

- I found out that tapioca is gross. Never eat it.

- Curry is not the best breakfast food.

- I had many near-death experiences on the 'roads' of India (a.k.a. dirt tracks).

- I was called 'Mam' or 'Madam' about a million times a day. I didn't think I'd miss it, but I do.

- I garnered some rather attractive - dodgy - tan lines.

- I met a marriage broker who offered to set me up.

- I touched various elephants, and now have an obsession with them. I want one as a pet.

- I saw too many spiders that were abnormally large. And I am now a spider murderer, my weapon of choice is the lethal instrument, the shoe.

Monster Spider.

But for now I'm back in Welshland, snuggled under my duvet, comforted by the homely sound of rain tapping on my windows, and blaring out Avril Lavigne - 'Whaaaay do you have to make things so com-pli-caaaay-ted.'

swanseaSWANSEAswansea

I could quite happily never leave the UK ever again. Best country ever, just saying.