5 Comments

Kyle Novak
on March 10, 2017 at 11:02 am

Rob
You’ve got it all wrong, aparently to truly understand the bible whenever it conflicts with the wisdom of this world, you have to simply apply a process known as “Hampification” very similar to the doctrine of “Turleyism” not to be confused with “Hovindification.”

Allow me to give some examples:

According to bible:
1 Chronicles 16:30: “He has fixed the earth firm, immovable.”
Psalm 93:1: “Thou hast fixed the earth immovable and firm …”
Psalm 96:10: “He has fixed the earth firm, immovable …”
Psalm 104:5: “Thou didst fix the earth on its foundation so that it never can be shaken.”
Isaiah 45:18: “…who made the earth and fashioned it, and himself fixed it fast…”

Now when we apply “Hampification” to these passages we would come up with:
The earth is NOT fixed firm but rather free floating in space. it is NOT Immovable, but rather in constant motion, tilting, wobbling, spinning and whirling around the sun at 66,600 mph in an elliptical path. and the earth is not on a foundation, but rather free floating in space. We would also have to accept that God did not “himself fix it fast (the earth)” but rather drop kicked it into orbit rolling and dashing around the sun.

According to the bible regarding the nature of the sun:
Psalm 19:6 His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it:
Josuha 10:12-13 tells us : Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.
And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed

For this example we will emplore the doctrine of “Hovindification”:
This would mean that the the sun does not travel a circuit and go forth from the end of heaven. And “from the point of view” of the observers (I.E. writers of the Holy Sciptures inspired by the Holy Spirit) it only APPEARED that the sun and the moon stood still. God can do anything so when the bible says that the sun stood still and the moon stayed over the valley of Ajalon, that it really means that God stop spinning the earth and the moon, held all the tides from flooding the earth, kept everything from flying off of the spinning ball, and then slowly spun the ball back up to cruising speed, and again drop kicked the earth back into orbit, sending it spinning, wobbling and tilting around the sun happily back at 66,600 mph.

In Isaiah 55:9 the bible says: For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts

Lets apply the doctrine of “Turleyism” to this one just for good measure (don’t want anyone to feel left out)

This would mean that the heavens are not higher than the earth, because there is no up or down in space, and heaven is all around the earth. So Heaven is higher, lower, to the side and all around in 360 degrees. Maybe Heaven is relative to the observer? For Mr. Turley, if he looks up in Austraila is he looking towards the same Heaven as I am in Alaska?

What about Lucifer? Did he not understand that we lived on a ball?
Isaiah 14:13-14

For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:

I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High

Does this mean that Lucifer will ascend in all directions at once into Heaven ? Will he exalt his throne above the stars of God in all directions 360 degrees? Will he ascend above the heights of the clouds in all directions at once? When he tries to sit upon the mount of the congregation in the north, will he see the people below the equator?

Isaiah then says:
Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.

Is Down relative to the observer since there is no up or down in space?

Its very simple

The bible says:
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.

It also says : Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.

Mr Hamp and the others in your recent video appear to be very wise in this world. very wise indeed…. and They call YOU a fool.

Applying “Hampification, Hovindification and Turleyism” all at once for a biblical trinity second only to the Bibilical trinity of Father-Son-Holy Spirit, I would say we would have to interpret the above passages to mean:

The wisdom of this world does not conflict with the Bible. If the obvious meaning seems to conflict with the wisdom of this world, , then simply claim the bible means the opposite, thereby perfectly harmonizing with the wisdom of this world (Scientism). If that doesn’t convince you, lets examine every root word in Hebrew, then compare it with half a dozen other root words until we twist, contort and shape the word of God into something that no one can reconize except for biblical Scholars.

I would like to point out If Doug is right on this, then we’re all screwed, because simply reading the bible in English apparently can mean the complete opposite. And if we don’t submit to “Bible Scholars” to tell us what the bible really means (which apparently can mean the complete opposite) how can we be sure of anything the bible says?

Is Jesus literally the way, the truth and the life? or does that mean the complete opposite? How many root words does it take in the original Hebrew to turn that meaning into the complete opposite?

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Does a child pick apart the orginal hebrew and greek to try to deterime what the Bible really is saying (which sometimes is the complete opposite of the text?)

A child would simply read the text for what it says.
And so should we. We should approach the scripture like children, instead of “Bible Scholars.”