Skunk Removal

I love my husband, I do, but he knows nothing about skunk removal. He’s strong, he’s good to me, he’s good to the kids, he works hard, he takes care of the house, he makes sure the yard looks good. He’s an all-around good-guy. So, please don’t take this the wrong way when I say, sometimes, only sometimes, he’s a stupid man. If only he’d just listen to what I say.

It was pretty clear we had a problem on the property when the dog came in whining and reeking of skunk. The poor dog just looked sheepish as we contemplated calling in a Hazmat team to clean him up. We finally sucked it up and did the awful clean-up ourselves, but I swore I’d never do it again. He’s still afraid to go outside!

My darling hubby went out that night and bought us a skunk trap. That was smart, I thought. He set it up in the backyard, close to the house. We had it out there for two days before we caught anything. It was a long two days, because I didn’t want the kids playing outside until we were done with the skunk removal. Awful enough to clean up a dog, I couldn’t imagine how bad it would be with a child!!

This was an event, for our family, catching the skunk. I “suggested” ever so gently that my husband bring out an old towel or two to throw over the cage, place it and the skunk in the truck, and drive off with it somewhere to leave in the great wide wilderness. He insisted he didn’t need to go to those lengths. I just grunted, and muttered something about how this was his responsibility so I’ll just keep out of it. Then I grabbed the video camera.

It must’ve taken my husband a good fifteen minutes to creep across the yard towards the cage, the skunk eyeing him the whole time. He was completely unarmed – just wearing his jeans, t-shirt and a ball cap. I guess he figured stealth and the LA Dodgers logo were his best defense.

Finally, he arrived at the cage. Another three minutes to slowly lift his arm and reach out to the trap’s door. I think I finally realized what his great plan was – he was just going to open the trap and let the animal go. Was that wise? I started to question him, but he just shushed me and moved the other hand up to steady the cage.

I kept the video camera going as I watched the man who is usually my hero, kneel directly in front of the cage and open the door, to let the skunk out. I think the skunk was just as surprised at this course of action. It crept up to the front of the cage, and quickly ran out, stopped for a moment to look at this strong man, and ran off out of sight. My husband is a truly lucky man, not getting sprayed, but I just had to ask him, “What was the point of setting a skunk removal trap when you’re just going to let the skunk back out into our own back yard?”