Things To Do On Monday, October 13.

Make This Whole Damn Thing Work Out.

Inspired by the long awaited return of Stefon to Saturday Night Live, we were hoping to start this post off with the lowdown on Dallas' hottest club. Unfortunately, D-town doesn't hold a candle to new New York, where clubs like Jan's New Backpack which have everything from asbestos, lupus, the magazines of Super Cuts, Dan Cortes and a doorman that always high-fives children of divorce.

That's too bad.

On the plus side, there's a shit ton going on in these almost-just-as-good North Texas venues. And, there's a freaking Beatle in town. Not bad for a Monday. — Cory Graves

Sir Paul McCartney at American Airlines CenterYou may remember this one was originally supposed to go down back in June, but then Paul got sick and needed to reschedule and, welp, now here we are. If you caught Art Garfunkel on Saturday at the Majestic, and you attend this tonight, then you'll be one of the few who saw both halves of Simon & Garfunkel in the same city during the same week, but at different times. Lucky you. — Chase Whale

Perfume Genius at Three LinksTo give you a good idea of what to expect from Perfume Genius' set tonight, let us recall how one of his previous stops through town played out: It happened during the first offering in Perfume Genius' two-song encore, a rendition of “Mr. Peterson” from 2010's Learning record, Mike Hadreas' incredibly personal tale of a suicidal school teacher that just so happens to be a pedophile as well. As they had been throughout the night, the small but decidedly attentive audience stood listening in dead silence, watching on as Hadreas' face contorted, holding back tears. And Hadreas was quite appreciative of this fact: “Thank you for being sad,” he said with something of a laugh in a moment of levity shortly before performing “Mr. Peterson.” “Thank you for staying sad throughout the whole show.” — Pete Freedman

Monday Night Football Watching Party at Henderson Tap HouseAre you ready for some football? We hope so, because it's here to take over every bar you frequent. Every Monday, members of the Cowboys will be at Henderson Tap House. Tonight, you can get krunk with special teamer Cameron Lawrence and center Travis Frederick and personally congratulate them on winning its biggest game in years yesterday. — CW

Oral Fixation: “Go With the Flow” at Wyly TheatreBig changes are in store for Oral Fixation, as our favorite storytelling series gets ready to kick off its fourth season this evening. The biggest one, of course, being that, due to popular demand, they'll be adding a second showing this Wednesday at Texas Theatre. In the meantime, check out Nayrok Udab (read: Erykah Badu's sister) who will share tidbits from her phase with lesbianism at tonight's “Go With the Flow”-themed event. — CG

OBN IIIs at Double WideIf you come out to this one, which you totally should, just know what you'll be getting yourself into: As anyone who has ever been to an OBN IIIs show will tell you, don't stand too close to the stage lest you want to end up covered in snot rockets or have a dirty microphone dropped in your beer. Unless that's your thing. To each his own. PVC Street Gang and Texas Bomb Pop open. — CG

Carolina Chocolate Drops at Kessler TheaterCarolina Chocolate Drops is a Grammy award winning string band, so we're off to a good start. Unlike most banjo and fiddle-heavy outfits, though, this old-timey quartet also features a beatboxer. Rising star, Parker Millsap opens. — CW

Twiztid at the Green ElephantJuggalos will no doubt show up in droves tonight to see Insane Clown Posse's little brother band, fellow Detroit horrorcore duo Twiztid. We can't promise you'll walk away from this one sticky and dripping with Faygo, but if trends hold up, there will be plenty of “Fa-mo-lee” chants at this one. — CW

Tennis System at Rubber GlovesWe're so glad RGRS decided to go non-smoking 18 months ago. It'll be nice to be able to see and breathe while watching L.A.'s lo-fi Nirvana-inspired rock band, Tennis System do its thing. Beth Israel opens. — CW

Kacey Musgraves at The RusticTonight upstart vodka brand, Zodiac, will hold a private launch party for its new line of spirits. The brand's new spokeswoman, Kacey Musgraves, will perform for free at this one, too, assuming you can find a way to finagle your way in. Any chance you can catch the country star and all around badass on a stage this size is worth it, no matter what you've got to do to get in. — CG

Grace Park & the Deer at Dan's SilverleafHere's what's going to sell you on seeing Grace Park and the Deer tonight: One of the members composes music for that one director you may heard of, Richard Linklater. Grace Park is a visual artist, which adds more awesome to this band. Claire Morales and Denton's own Roy Robertson open. — CW

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.