HARRY REACTS! Albert Pyun Checks In On A Few New Projects, Including One That Will Make Harry Insanely Happy!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
Albert Pyun started his career working for the great Akira Kurosawa, which automatically makes him cooler than 99% of everyone in the film industry. Lately, he’s been very productive, and he seems like he’s really proud of the work he’s been doing. Sure, he’s made a shitload of Canon films over the years, and some low-budget dogs, but he also made the dark and sleazy and completely awesome SWORD AND THE SORCERER back in 1981, and there’s a bit of news about that film at the end of his letter to us that will make Harry hoot so loud you’ll be able to hear him wherever you are as you read this.
Check it out!

Hi Drew:
Hope this finds you and your family well.
Just wanted to let you know I am finishing a film that will be my best. It’s my next step up in my evolution as a filmmaker (I know it’s pretty damn late in the game). The film is titled LEFT FOR DEAD, and it’s a spaghetti western fever dream with pretty serious gothic horror overlays.
I have a DVD screener I'd love to send you if you have the time and interest.
BTW -- Lions Gate is releasing INFECTION in December. They are re-titling it INVASION. Hope you get a chance to catch that as well.
And let Harry know that I'm making a sequel to THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER in Tunisia in October. It's titled, what else, TALES OF THE ANCIENT EMPIRE.
Warmest Regards,
Albert

Harry here... I'm concerned... and rather hopeful about this film. You see - I absolutely love THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR. It's one of those films that is just sublimely awesome. Everything wrong about 1980's Fantasy... is why SWORD AND THE SORCEROR works. The funky costume design, the self-aware tongue in cheekness, the awesome nudity, machismo and blood and gore and animation cel effects. However - it's just done perfect.
My concern is... of course... that Lee Horsley won't be back as Prince Talon. Now, Lee Horsley may not have the greatest film career of all time. But as Prince Talon - he was the fantasy equivalent of Han Solo - that George Lucas and Ron Howard desperately wanted to make Val Kilmer in WILLOW, but just couldn't fucking do. Now - oddly - Lee will next be seen in the Wayne Kramer directed Harrison Ford vehicle, CROSSING OVER - due out this holiday season... Han Solo and Prince Talon in the same film... nearly too much for this geek mind.
But I hope Albert will bring back Lee Horsley as Prince Talon - he is a full half of why SWORD AND THE SORCEROR kicks the ass out the universe.
The other half of the asskicking of this film is the score by David Whitaker - who basically seemed to retire from film music altogether after SWORD AND THE SORCEROR - until, if by chance, WITH A FRIEND LIKE HARRY came along - and since then, he's been selective. I hope Albert is able to talk him back into scoring this long coveted sequel.
This could be an epic step forward. With the right financing, the right team of film lovers - and most importantly - with Lee Horsley and David Whitaker joining Albert Pyun on this journey... It could shake the pillars of heaven and piss on the head of Satan himself. TALON!!!!!!!

Holy shit, when I read the headline I was like "I can't believe someone remembers that director's name and is using it ironically as an AICN handle. That guy made some of the biggest pieces of shit in cinematic history." I actually kind of smiled because I thought I was the only one who remembered his name. After renting Cyborg and Captain America with a couple of buddies in high school, I actually checked the director of Captain America because it was so shitty and boring it reminded me of Cyborg. I couldn't believe I was right, it was the same guy, and I identified this no-name director purely based on style. After that we avoided any other Pyun related titles like the plague. Anyhow in full disclosure I didn't know the Sword and the Sorcerer was also directed by him until reading this article, and with my vague recollections I remember it as actually OK. If that is the one with the triple bladed sword that could shoot out its blades. Anyhow at least the title "Tales of the Ancient Empire" sounds cool.

For a real SWFD, watch Blueberry (also known as Renegade) with Vincent Cassel, Michael Madsen, Djimon Hounsou and Ernest Borgnine (how he didn't get a guestrole on Star Trek I have no idea). Great trip.

I'd never heard of this movie. But I'm gonna check it out after I looked up the reviews on IMDB. I read Harry's review about how much he'd love to do an audio commentary for a special DVD. And I read Joe Bob's review. He sums it up with: "At least 90 corpses. Mucho snakes. Heads roll. Minimal kung fu. one beast. No motor vehicles. Magician guy with orange fingernails. Three stars."

It was budgeted at $6m. Can you imagine what a SPIDER-MAN movie would look like with a budget of $6m?! Click on this link for more info about Pyun's plans to shoot SPIDER-MAN and MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE 2 back-to-back.
http://tinyurl.com/2fk4l8

Sure he's made some god awfull films but he'll be the first to tell you that. But few can beat the B-movie awesomeness that is Nemesis, Crazy Six, Mean Guns and Postmortem (which is actually pretty good, mostly because of the great Scottish cast). Can't wait for Left for Dead. Twitch.net reviewed it a few weeks back and gave it a good review.

Ahh, geek bliss. Of course it'll be rubbish, but as long as it's enjoyable rubbish, I'll be there. SWORD AND THE SORCERER even got a decent cinema release in the UK, though I doubt the sequel would. Where's Lee Horsley? Simon MacCorkindale works reqularly on TV in the UK. Richard Lynch is still playing scarred villains. Get the gang back together!

"spaghetti western fever dream with pretty serious gothic horror overlays" Wow that sounds like something I could really get behind... particularly when it gets made by J.J. Abrams and is called Dark Tower!! P.S. Blueberry sucked

actually had potential until Pyun jumped forward and threw Steve Rogers into the present day (early 90's). The Nazi stuff with the Red Skull was fairly cool. The crap in Italy with the President and reporter was crap-o-la. Sword & The Sorcerer was balls out cool when I was 15. That triple-bladed sword SOLD that movie.

As someone else stated I thought this was just some reader contributing an article - not the man Albert Pyun! He's made some really, really bad movies, but he's made some reasonably entertaining ones, too.
As for "How does it compare to Conan, Beastmaster, Dragonslayer, and Excalibur?" Well, it's far more in vein with Beastmaster (which is odd to have grouped with the other titles you mentioned - I mean, I enjoyed it, but that was super-cheesy). So yeah, S&S is cheesy, but it has some nice nudity, and isn't afraid to make fun of itself. It's definitely a fun movie although I haven't seen it for ages. Anyhow, I'll definitely check out its sequel.

I never knew this guy was associated with Akira Kurosawa. I would had known based on his movies. I mean I'm sorry he might be a nice guy and all. But granted I have never seen the whole thing of Sword and Sorcerer, but as far as the rest of his movies, i have seen about half of them, and out of Nemesis, I felt that I witness some of the worse movies ever made.

But you'll lose 80mins of your life. This movie has ZERO plot. Make that minus zero plot. Two cops chase a killer through a long tunnel. That's it. No dramatic turns in the events, no plot points, no surprises. It doesn't even have any good gore or action. Characters are not one dimensional, they're zero dimensional. Make that minus...Anyway, it's set in the US but was shot in Eastern Europe and no one on the crew bothered to change the "Policia" signs on the police cars. Hilarious.

...and highlight the part that says he's 99% cooler than everyone in the film industry. Then he can just start making the rounds: "Yo Clooney! You see this? I'm cooler than you." "Favreau! How's it feel to be in the bottom 99%, little man?" "Hey PTA! There Will Not Be Blood, cuz Cyborg will put a stop to that shit, BITCH!" "Brad Pitt!...Umm, just wanted to say hi."

That I never thought I'd ever see that bit of news is the understatement of the year! The original is terrible, but a hell of a good time with shameless gore, cheesy fantasy villains, a misogynistic hero, titty, and a balls-out attitude.
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Captain America and The Omega Doom.... not so much.
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I can't imagine Pyun will be able to find his way back to form with Ancient Empire, but I will definitely support the effort.
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"TALON! TALON! TALON!"

Actually, it was you who expressed the urge to debate with your "two fists" when you had reached the end of your rather short intellectual tether, much like that other odious Pennsylvania socialist talkbacker LambLion was fond of threatening people with from time to time when he started losing debates. Not surprising.
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Still, it would be interesting to hear your rationale for coming to a talkback regarding a geek cult fantasy B-movie's sequel and choosing that moment in which to launch a tirade of insults at Harry (and by extension anyone who might enjoy the rubbish). Did it make you feel smart? Counter-cultural? Perceptive? Artistic? Admirable? Cool? Aroused?
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Fuck you, you pretentious cunt.

Pyun's SPIDERMAN script was perhaps one of the worst pieces of writing I've ever seen. (It's still floating around the internet, though it's usually mis-attributed as James Cameron's work.) Doc Octopus runs arpuind with a heavy European-immigrant accent saying "Okey dokey!" a lot and there's some pretty blatant patriotic pandering in the finale as Spidey parachutes off a skyscraper that's shooting into space using an American flag. It was all rather odious.

and if you try, you'll find that home isn't what you remembered it to be. it's a cliché for a reason, man. <p>
your best bet is to hope that it is made well, which in this sci-fi/fantasy day and age means taking itself seriously.

...I knew I could count on you to stick up for high culture. Thought about you the other day when I was watching my Jason of Star Command DVD set, actually. Yes, my (original) Ghost Busters DVD set is on the way.

I found it but are you sure it's the script Pyun was going to make? It's date marked '93, which is when Cameron was developing his version. Pyun was slated to do his one in the late 80's for Cannon and I found Cannon's SPIDER-MAN script, dated '85, and Doc Ock doesn't say "okey dokey" a hundred times like in the other script. The "okey" version is: http://tinyurl.com/2uo2wc
The '85 Cannon version is: http://tinyurl.com/2pc6h8

No, what I said was that "I wish I met more people like you in real life". It was you and Minuspenith who were talking about debating with "two fists" and "putting people to the sword" after the revolution. Furthermore, I haven't been on the east coast of the U.S. since 2003.
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TheBodet is a PA guy. I'm sure he could kick your ass too, just like me, if it came down to it.
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Fucking threatening people on the internet. Could you be more of a loser, jackhole?

I remember going on a binge of Pyun flicks just so I feel better about myself. I believe it ended with BRAIN SMASHER: A LOVE STORY, a true classic. I checked back in on him recently, and he's been paying the bills making those straight-to-video ghettosploitation flicks with Snoop Dogg and Ice-T. The man is a testament to the notion that if you can bring a movie in on budget - no matter how shitty it is - someone will hire you again.

... are you posting from the Northhampton County Mental Ward?! Cause what kind of nutbag manages to needlessly insult Harry, make threats of a desired physical altercation, and posts his fucking email address all in one Talkback?

belonged to Kathleen Beller. She had a nude scene but it may have been performed by a body double. A fox, a bosomy bombshell. I don't think she's made a movie in 15 years (didn't she perform a "hot" nude scene, sana body double, in THE BETSY?). She's now 51. Maybe she's still pretty nuclear!

..Kathleen Beller..now thats a name i havent heard in a long time..a long time..i know that i spilled much seed on my sheets in honor of Kathleen Beller..(even her brief appearance in "The Godfather 2" initiated such a spilling)

S&tS is one of the great 80's sword and sandals flicks. those shootin swords... lol. id love to see a sequel to this property. im SO surprised we are talking sequel and not REMAKE. support it for that reason only.

Regarding your "response", you forgot to thank Harry for allowing you to post that ridiculous diatribe on HIS website. You know, AICN is rather lenient when it comes to banning people. So, if you've had a personal problem with that in the past, it may be because you come across as an utterly trollsome dickhead. That being the obvious case, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you have to come back someday as Wnanahara8.<P>And that's an interesting way of deflecting the nature of your threat = providing your email and location in a clear invitation to have people "talk their shit to (your) face" while simultaneously claiming that anyone who takes you up on the offer is the one making the threat. Meanwhile, those that don't are pussies, right?<P>Wow. Your reasoning is airtight in its insanity.<P>You should read that link I posted earlier in this TB and then find yourself a new fucking hobby.

That was my geek orgasm. I never in a million years thought I might actually get to see a sequel to my favorite fantasy movie of all time - The Sword and the Sorcerer. And yes, Lee MUST be back as Talon or it's no-go. I don't care how old he is now - he owns that part like no other could.

Well fucking said!
Harry's oafishness doesn't offend me even a fraction as much as McWeeny's hubris lately. Master of Horror indeed! How many people even subscribe to Showtime these days? 7? In the United States?

Not offically but..
seriously, for years i've wanted to make that promised (but never delivered) sword & sorcerer sequel, just ask anyone who knows me, check the IMDB message boards. i've always had it up on my Myspace site (myspace.com/choogo) including a proposed treatment, cast list, etc
In all flippancy set aside though, my concept would be so far removed from their likely conventional mega play-it-safe compromised route it wouldn't matter one way or the other.
At least now I know i can move on to the sequel i've always wanted to do anyway ..KRULL!
--Damon Packard (Reflections of Evil)

I would have thought it obvious. The difference between W7's typically venomous and pointless post and yours is that you took the time to phrase a coherent and legitimate gripe. I have no problem with that. However, I do find it endlessly baffling that the critics of AICN and its policies seem to think that it's okay to bash it, but are extremely thin-skinned when opposed in these opinions.

Playboy's Barbi Benton (may her movie career R.I.P.) and the late Lana Clarkson. Both were unconstrained, performing nude scenes sans compromise (the good 'ole days when nudity--in lieu of hardcore violence--was the draw). I can't believe that Clarkson, during her final days, was saddled with a $9-an-hour job as a cocktail waitress. She wasn't a particularly good actress but she deserved better. Little wonder that Benton's career tanked--if you phoned her for an interview, her manager-husband insisted that you had to literally pay Benton for a q&a session! I thought the guy was rich but go figure--!

Yes, you owe it to yourself to see Deathstalker. It's soooooo cheesy and virtually incomprehensible. There's even an outrageously funny scene where Deathstalker is involved in a life-and-death, semi-nude wrestling match and I swear to God they softened the lens for it.
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But please tell me you've at least seen and loved Hawk The Slayer!
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"VOLTAN! You will DIE by this sword!"

At first I thought "Sword and the S." was "The Warrior and the Sorceress" starring David Carradine and a woman with 4 breasts. But now I see it's not and I'm a little less excited. I think the Carradine one was written by dinosaur artist, Bill Sout, too. I probably saw "Sword..." at one point in time, too, but don't remember.

(Sorry for the probable double post.) If I understand correctly, SWORD AND THE SORCERER cost less than $4 million and made over $39 million domestic. Not sure how much it made worldwide but in the U.S. it was the sleeper hit of 1982 coming in at number 18 for the year grossing around $450,000 less than CONAN which cost over $20 million. Needless to say, it was a pretty big success. Why in the world did it take 25 years for the producers to get the sequel off the ground? They obviously wanted to make one, going as far as to announce it in the end credits. What gives? Did a rights owner die or ??? Seems the studios would've financed one if they couldn't arrange a larger budget independently.
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And the nay sayers be damned - THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER is pure b-movie bliss! A "bad" movie that is the best kind of cheesey joy.

Lee Horsley and David Whitaker are essential for this to succeed.
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Is Brandon Chase producing? I figure he'd be one of the owners of the first film and is more than likely equally (or possibly most) responsible for its success.
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Lastly, any poster collectors out there ever see a 14x36" U.S. insert or 22x28" half-sheet for S&S? Seems they only printed one sheets.

what are you talking about? <p>My love for crappy films is well established- See the Sex and the city TB for examples (Troma are great!)<P>I have no beef with you (You're not ringy) and stand by my original post, I was just answering a question, and adding my needless 2 cents.

...is how thin-skinned and vain you are. You'll post what you think are withering, rapier-like attacks on people, but follow them up with cocolopezisms which amount to "And now I'm through with you tools - flame predictably away!" in the hope that we'll have been shamed into refraining from such posts, thus leaving you with the last word. When we then simply ignore your disguised pleas, your poor self-esteem makes you return anyway, time and time again.
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What a little bitch.

Well, since I'll be one of the first people in line to be "put to the sword" by you and MinusPenithII after your glorious revolution I figure I'll enjoy myself until then.
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So suck it, you deluded, sociopathic, preening, pussy-fisted bitch.

What's it like, W7, chewing your knuckles, trying not to give in to the urge to respond? It must fucking kill you to allow yourself to be manipulated by my posts to the point where no matter what you do -- post or not -- you end up dancing to my tunes.