When Your Life Starts Spiraling Out Of Control, Buy Yourself Some New Nikes

NEW NIKE ALERT! NEW NIKE ALERT! Guys, it's been a pretty tumultuous week around here. Woolf left us for Cleveland. The World Cup is over, I went to the emergency room. Shit has been wild. We need some stability in our lives. Whenever my life starts to feel like it's spiraling out of control, I buy myself some new Nikes. I know my size in Nikes. I know roughly what the pricepoint of Nike will be. All I need is an excuse to buy some new Nikes and praise be to Phil fucking Knight because Beaverton's finest just came thru with the new Lunars. These Lunar Trainer 1s got that Flywire tech, enough colorways that you and your friends can cop the same shoe and not feel awkward, and they're light enough that you can probably jump higher while wearing them. But don't try and jump. You look mad weird when you try athletic maneuvers.