Tuesday: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home to dinner and they found me naked!

Wednesday: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice so I took a bath. Can't say it helped the rice.

Thursday: Tried a new salad recipe. It said "prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." Tom asked why I was rolling around the garden.

Friday: Found easy recipe for cookies that said "put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Something went wrong. When I got home, everything was just as I left it.

Saturday: Tom went shopping today, brought home a chicken, and asked me to dress it for Sunday. I didn't have any clothes that fit it. For some reason, Tom keeps counting to ten.

Sunday: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. How disappointing. When it came out, it was still hamburger!