Getting back on topic, I think it's awful hearing about OHs who have been told minutes after baby and new mummy have been sent back to the ward!! For the first 24 hours after a birth I think the visiting hours should be relaxed. By the sounds of it, some of you are lucky enough to have long visiting hours for your hubbys, but it ISN'T the case in all hospitals!! The thought of giving birth late at night or early morning, and an hour or two later my hubby being told to go home - I think it's awful!!

Not just for me, and me wanting hubby to be there, but for him. Yes, we're the ones going through all the pain, but I honestly think that having to be there, not really being able to do anything major to help (nothing medical anyway!! lol), and seeing the person you love most in the entire world going through what can for many be a very painful and traumatic birth...and then being told to LEAVE?? Awful.

Hubby was in hospital recently for a minor op, and throughout the whole thing I would have given anything to be having the op myself rather than having to support him and see him in so much pain. So why should this be any different??

The baby is also theirs!!! It's not the Dad's fault that men can't have babies!!!

As for dad's staying every night, no, it's not practical for one, but I can see the benefits and the support especially if the birth was very traumatic, or the baby/mother is ill, or whatever.

I DO think though that the visiting hours for the OH should be pretty much all day. But it's just not like that in all hospitals!!!

So, after all my rambling, the first 24 (or even 12!) hours after the birth I reckon hospitals should be lenient, after that, except for exceptional circumstances, just decent visiting hours (unlike 1 1/2 twice a day like ours seems to be).

One quick mention on the leaving-the-baby-to-go-to-the-loo argument...who here has any right to judge anyone else??

I have to say i am shocked reading through the thread that there could be any women who would not want their partner to share that first night of being a new parent with them. I have had two children and as a result of this rule my husband had to leave me overnight. I had such awful experiences that i have booked a private home birth for this baby as i can't bare the thought of being alone. Its the scariest most vulnerable time of a womens life, why on earth would you not want your husband or partner there to support you, hold your hand. Wouldnt this take alot of pressure off the midwifes. The reasons i'm reading seem so strange. People are worrying about the other men being there, who cares if there are other dads around, they are (or at least should be) only interested in their new babies. From the article i couldnt tell wether it would be only for the first night or for as long as the mother is in hospital. I imagine it would only be for the 1st night as it would be hard for staff to accomodate partners with food and bathing to consider. That first night would make so much difference to the well being and emotional state of the mother. I really hope it goes ahead so many women would benefit and i have to say again how shocked i am that any women who not be for such a great change in the nhs system. Its bad enough men only get two weeks at home after the birth, i'm sure they want that two weeks to start properply from the moment their baby is born. Lets start thinking about how the fathers feel, that seems natural to me. I hope the do it. (Big thumbs up)

I completley agree, and tbh i dont know if i would have thought about wheeling baby to bathroom had it not been the policy of the hospital, but upon admittance they said that baby should never be parted from you even to go to bathroom (which in fairness were very clean).

I had my first in a different hospital and you just wheeled baby to nursery and signed them in and a HCA looked after them

actually im seriously shocked that u think its ok to take them to a toilet in a maternity ward with u ,they must have extremely good cleaners ....the toilet when i was in was opposite the room i was in!! i was in there no more than 3 mins at a time BUT hovered above the loo as there was blood on the seat and floor everytime i went in .....im not doubting they were cleaned however ladies who have just given birth are bleeding heavily and therefore the toilets are probably more unhygenic than normal toilets AND ure baby is at the most vunerable age of infection ....i was confident that when i went to the loo i could leave her in her alarmed cot for no more than 3 minutes and she would be ok .....

qb- this will shock u even more ,the canteen in our hospital in on the next ward and u have to go down a corridoor ,u are not allowed to take ure baby for h&s reasons and also cant eat and drink in bed for the same reason so what is a mum who is in a couple of days meant to do then ???

Honestly it is our hospital policy, you had to take baby with you, wheel them to the canteen take them to the shower, all other mums were doing the same, i did get friendly with some and leave babe with them or had a shower when dh was there.

Re Toilets what do you do when your out and about, surly you have to take baby into toilet with you then?

I don't think it's disgusting that you took them into the toilet and if that was your hospitals policy then you couldn't really do anything else, I just meant as a preference, I'd rather leave my baby with a midwife/other new mummy on the ward than drag their crib into a hospital toilet! Each hospital is obviously has different policies - I was just surprised by QB's comments that's all.I've only had one by the way and I still need the loo all the time!!xx

After I had my emergency c-section I was put into a 3 bed room at 3:00 in the morning. I was very happy that my husband was able to stay. I did ask the other moms first if they minded and it was ok to tell me if they did and he would have gone home. The hospital as a rooming in policy as the baby would stay with you at all times and the nurses that night were too busy to help me with my daughter. He did all the diaper changes, helped me with breastfeeding and tended to her so I could get some sleep, he even cleaned me up when I couldn't and the nurses didn't have time. We had the curtain closed all the time and he would ask the other moms if it was ok to come out.I do agree with limiting the amount of visitor and the times they came. One women in the same room would have 10 visitors at one time constantly coming and going, so it was hard to get any rest.Had there been a private room available I would have gotten one. They made me stay for 3 days, no he didn't stay the whole time. As soon as they asked if I wanted to leave I was out of there.