LIKE this Page

Posts

Two days ago, I had
called up my bank (one of the leading private-sector banks in India) regarding
certain issues relating to my existing loans with it. I was advised to visit
the local branch (Loans division) to sort out those issues. So, yesterday, I landed
up at our local branch at 12 noon and came out at 2:45! Two hours and forty-five
minutes was a huge time for such a small issue. But, I was not alone in this…
There were so many waiting patiently just the way I did. Yes, I, too, was
getting restless… But, I knew, that, by losing my patience, I would not gain
anything… On the contrary, I would lose my poise, temper and health! So, I chose to wait
for my turn, very, very patiently! When my turn came, it only took about ten
minutes to sort out my issues. “Thank you so much, madam,” I expressed my
gratitude, and left that place gracefully… On my way back, the
autowala asked me if I was aware of the stampede at Elphinstone-road railway station…
As I wasn’t, he went on to narrate the tr…

“Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds her own face in a perfect mirror.” - Rabindranath Tagore

In life, just as we
tend to hear what we want to hear, we tend to see, too, what we want to see.
This happens all the time, everywhere, for all of us. That’s the main reason
why I get inspired to blog every day… on very mundane things, which mostly
escape our attention. I call them the wayside flowers. Frankly, there is
extraordinary beauty in these wild ordinary flowers… If only we pause to
‘see’ their extraordinary beauty! The innocence of
little babies and pets, for example, needs our tender eyes to rejoice over.
Similarly, the untimely death of a beloved one and the horrific devastation due
to an earthquake or hurricane – yes, no matter how harrowing the experience may
be - they need an equally awe-struck eyes to behold them. Likewise, cruelly and
heartlessness around us can crush us… but, they do contain a sublime strength to
free us from suffering… The rain and the
rainbow, the brig…

One of the most
difficult tasks in life is to stop someone from talking ill about you. In fact,
it is impossible to shut someone’s mad-mouth. No matter how good and selfless
you are, there will, always, be some around you who think you are the worst
creature on this planet… the most dangerous and you deserve to be banished from
this land! Now, if I mention
here Jesus Christ, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Dalai Lama, I would be
surely able to drive home the point: “Look, if they did not even spare these
Godly souls, who are you and me to be spared?” But, why look at the Godly
souls… Life around us is, always, such: If nine out of ten around you trust
you, believe in you… the one out there will think you are not trustworthy and
try to brainwash others saying you are so… They will be hell-bent in maligning
and defaming you… They will, always, cry for your blood! Who are these guys?
Where do they come from? Bullies and criminals… the most selfish and the least sensitive, these guys com…

Ihave had many, many
friends all along these years. My school friends, church friends, college
friends, work-place friends, students-turned-friends, neighbours-turned-friends,
friends’-friends-turned-friends, foes-turned-friends, relatives-turned-friends,
social-media friends… yes, all sorts. Who are my true
friends? I think, that’s a
stupid question. I will never, ever find an answer to that question. For, I
really do not know whose true friend I really am! Can I be brutally honest and
declare, that, for so and so friend of mine, I am ready to do anything,
anytime, anywhere… all the way through… in his most difficult times and in his
most glorious times… Yes, can I say this without expecting from him anything?
Can I do it for him despite getting hurt from him often? Despite his occasional
indifference and insensitivity? I am afraid, I do
not have any friend in my life, for whom I will lay my own life. Yes, I have
many, many friends, though… and, yes, I have had hundreds of friends to…

Is man really the
master of his fate and captain of his soul? When I first came across
this famous poem of Henley, I was in my early twenties… Hot blood ran through
my veins and I would assume that I possessed within me the power to stop the
sunset… Yes, just like Lord Krishna did in Kurukshetra! This was also
the time, when I came across another motivational war-cry from Vince Lombardi: “Winners
never quit and quitters never win...” Today, after almost
four decades and many, many heart-burns, I have come to the conclusion, that
Man, being human, can do only so much to alter his fate… Yes, only so much.
There are so many problems in my life, I have simply not been able to solve
with the best of my intentions and efforts. Those problems, now, I have learnt to
gracefully accept… by letting go of my contr…

“Sometimes, doing
nothing about the problem can be the best solution to the problem,” explained a
friend of mine to me, this morning. We were discussing about a certain
problem in hand that had affected some of us, including we two. For years, the said problem was troubling us…
We had done every possible thing to solve it… But, people on the other side of
the problem seemed blinded by their ego and were unwilling to drop the hard
stance they had taken… Despite our best efforts and intentions, the problem
seemed to persist… It was frustrating! So, this morning,
my friend tried to calm me down by saying, that there was nothing that we
hadn’t done to solve the problem… So, the best thing in such situations is to
‘let go’… and ‘let God in’… “God, I am just a
human… I have done all that a human could do to solve this problem… I surrender
all… I lay the problem at Thy feet and Thy will be done.” Many do not like to
take this kind of approach. “It is being weak,” they argue, “It’s a defeatist
m…

“Everyone has to take
self-care,” the gentleman said, “Others can only encourage you, remind you or
try to motivate you… Finally, you have to get up and do it for yourself.” I was commuting to
my workplace in his car. “How is madam (his wife), sir?” I had enquired. She
had been a highly-diabetic patient for long and been in and out of the hospital
many times. Her fragile health-condition had made him strikingly aware of the
need for self-care. So, he had been taking good care of his own health through
regular walk and diet-control. But, when it came to his wife’s, he had not been
able to get her do the same… “She simply doesn’t want to walk,” he said this
morning with anguish. He added, “When
children do not live with you, you are on your own. If you do not take care of
yourself, you put strain on your partner… This applies to husband and wife,
both. Doctors and children can only remind you over the phone or when you meet
them… At the end of the day, you need to do it for yourself.” …

Almost eighty percent of stress in life can be reduced if you and I learn to concentrate on dealing with our own business. But, as typical human
beings, we invite unnecessary stress in our lives by poking our noses in others’
business as well… Many of us act as if we are rescuers and saviors… We assume , that, we are sent
on this earth to solve others' problems… Are we sent here on
that mission? Solving others’
problems sounds to be an extremely a noble ideal. To some extent, it is… We are here not
only for ourselves but for people around us, too. The problem of unnecessary stress comes
in our life when we go overboard to fix others’ problems… I have quoted Byron
Katie many times before. In her book, ‘Loving What Is’, she reminds us, that, in
life, we all tend to focus on three things: our own business, others’ business
and God’s business. Hurricane, earthquakes, floods, droughts etc are God’s
business. My worrying about it will not take me anywhere. If I spend too much
of my energ…

“There are
tests, but there are also small mercies. Life tossed us
up into the air, scattered us, and we all somehow found our way back. And we will do it again.
And again.
And again.”— Alexandra Bracken

The moment I focus on
what is missing in my life – what I don’t have – I slip into a complaining mode.
On the other hand, the moment I focus on what I still have, I slip into a
grateful mode. These are the two poles of my well-being globe… When I complain,
I feel unhappy… and when I am grateful, I feel happy… Surprisingly, often,
the awareness of what I still have and should be grateful for comes right in
the midst of my unhappy state… My fuming and ranting lead me nowhere… I see
myself in more and more turmoil as I keep grumbling more and more. So, I am
amazed, often, to see how the awareness of what I still have in my life and need
to be thankful for… yes, I am amazed to see how this awareness springs right as
I cruise through the troubled sea of my disappointments, frustrations and
s…

Today, I had been to
one of the reputed colleges in the city to conduct a programme. Though the
programme was meant for teachers, I agreed with the Principal madam, when she
suggested that even the students, who desired to attend it, could get the
benefit of it. That was a good suggestion when I reflect on it… After all, there
is a teacher in all of us… and, we should be too arrogant and ignorant to
claim, that we, as teachers, have nothing to learn… I loved being with
the teachers and students, today. My emphasis was as usual: “Do whatever you do…
but, do with your heart. Full heart!” Hope, the message
was taken home by teachers and students alike… There was this one
teacher… An affectionate and unassuming soul. I was told, that she was the
senior-most teacher… What I immediately loved about this teacher was her
sincerity and attentiveness. You can make out when you teach or talk to any
group… there will always be some in the audience, young or old, who see you with
kindness, affection …

We
never heard of the concept called ‘Event Management’, say two decades ago, the
way we are hearing it, today. Today, every imaginable function or ceremony in
man’s life - from a baby’s naming ceremony to a man’s funeral ceremony… yes,
from cradle to grave - is called an ‘event’ in a professional event-manager’s
lingo! If we consider the benefits
of outsourcing the ‘headache, stress and tension’ relating to our personal,
social and corporate events to professional event-managers, we would never mind
spending a few lakhs on it... The art and science of
event management is taught like Physics, Accountancy and Theology. Young boys
and girls do MBA in this field… some, here in India, and some, abroad… yes,
spending a bomb on it! While, I find it
perfectly fine and necessary, I also see with delight how school and college
boys and girls, and their teachers, often, organize events in their schools and
colleges… be it a function like Annual Day, Teachers’ Day, Fresher’s Day,
Send-off, Seminar…

'Passionate about Life.'... That's how I see myself. For me, the term 'passion' has a special meaning. It is living life with its totality... With all its hues and confusions, with all its triumphs and defeats.
I consider myself as a little kid, still groping in the dark -- trying to find a way out of this great maze. Sometimes, I wonder: whether there is a way out at all? Whether the maze itself is the way?
Thus, as a kid awe-struck by this amazing mystery called LIFE, I have a lot to share with my fellow kids. I believe, it would be an exciting and fulfilling journey, each morning...
I am, indeed, looking forward to each dawn, with fresh eyes... And my fresh note to share...
Love,
GERALD D'CUNHA