Many established cartoon series had (or still have) a resident doctor of some sort. Here are nine of those doctors you’d be better shying away from.

9 – Dr. Reginald Bushroot (Darkwing Duck)

Look, I’m just gonna say it– Bushroot sounds too dirty.

This half-plant half-duck villain came to be after the once renowned scientist experimented on himself. Originally he wanted to fuse animals and plants together so individuals could be fed through photosynthesis, but this was close enough. He’s always looking for ways to fund his crazy experiments, although he does so through nefarious ways. Dr. Bushroot can regenerate should one of his viney arms be trimmed. This is much unlike anything in my garden, which dies just to spite me. I’m talking to you, zucchini. Like a duck version of Poison Ivy, except without all that sexy stuff, Dr. Bushroot can control plants for his own gain.

I’m quite good with feeding myself through non-photosynthesis means, so I’ll take a pass on Dr. Bushroot.

8 – Dr. George Claw (Inspector Gadget)

Modern day villains host singing competitions.

Dr. Claw is best known for sitting in a big chair, having a claw hand, and petting a cat. And trying to do in the oblivious Inspector Gadget through his criminal syndicate called “M.A.D.” Like any good evil counterpart, similar to Wilson from Home Improvement, Dr. Claw’s face is never revealed—at least not in the cartoon series. Toy makers changed this by creating a Dr. Claw action figure—face and all. From a marketing perspective, I get it, but on the other hand, it kind of ruins the mystique. Dr. Claw’s face was actually hidden in the package, so parents were forced to purchase the action figure for their whiney kids in order for it to be revealed. Unfortunately, it’s an Inspector Gadget action figure, so no one bought them. Thus, Dr. Claw’s face remains a mystery. As it should.

As for his doctoring, I’m not so sure I want someone who can’t show his face to be operating on me. Those things never turn out well. The incessant cat-petting gives me crazy cat lady vibes, so I’ll doubly pass on this doctor.

7 – Dr. Jonathan Katz (Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist)

He looks more like something I doodled in math class. With my left hand.

I’m not so sure Dr. Katz was even a real doctor. He pretty much sat in his office all day and listened to stand-up comedians do their shtick. I do that in the office all day, but if I’m caught, I get fired.

Dr. Katz, the squiggly-lined professional psychotherapist, seems only to see famous comedians and actors, and therefore would never actually see me. So whether or not I would go see him is moot.

6 – Dr. Arkeville (Transformers)

“I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.”

In typical evil doctor ways, Dr. Arkeville is guilty of using technology to control the minds of humans. He assisted Megatron in manipulating humans to provide slave labor as well as using them as a human shield for the Decepticons.

Dr. Arkeville has mechanical attachments and limbs and a low success rate, but he is voiced by Casey Kasem. Would I visit this doctor? Maybe.

5 – Baby Bunsen/Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (Muppet Babies)

A doctor dressed up like another doctor? Mind. Blown.

The resident scientist on the Muppet Show, and subsequently The Muppet Babies, was Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Dr. Bunsen eagerly shows off his discoveries and inventions much to the chagrin of his meeping sidekick Beaker, who often ends up harmed in some way by Dr. Bunsen’s antics.

Would I want this doctor near me? First of all, he’s more scientist, less general practitioner so my experience with him would be rather limited to begin with. Considering his track record with poor Beaker though, I’d have to limit myself to the waiting room.

4 – Dr. Badvibes (C.O.P.S.)

Dr. Mick Jagger?

Dr. Badvibes is the mad scientist sort with sticky fingers. He was fired from Comtrex Technologies Incorporated for stealing electronics, but went on to work for Big Boss, where he produces robotic minions.

While Dr. Badvibes will never be without staff thanks to his ability to crap out evil robotic minions, I don’t exactly want someone named Buzzbomb handing Dr. Badvibes tools during my surgery.

3 – Dr. Mindbender (G.I. Joe)

Looks more like an old-timey 1920s wrestler.

Before he was a minion of Cobra, Dr. Bender was an orthodontist, which is just as scary as a terrorist in my mind. I shouldn’t be too hard on him—he did have the best interests of his patients in mind and wasn’t anything like The Dentist from Little Shop of Horrors. Dr. Bender built a machine to relieve dental pain. This machine used electric brainwave stimulation, but didn’t go according to plan, turning Dr. Bender into a hateful man when he tested it on himself.

Dr. Mindbender works for Cobra, a fictional terrorist organization. Do I need to make any other comments about why I wouldn’t want this doctor near me? While I can respect Dr. Bender’s efforts in making dental procedures less painful for patients, I’m not too comfortable putting my teeth in his care, so again… PASS.

2 – Dr. Stupid (Ren & Stimpy)

If you seek great wisdom… well, better luck next time.

Ask Dr. Stupid was a segment in the Ren & Stimpy cartoon and comic book series. In these segments, viewers (or readers) would write in with pressing questions, and Dr. Stupid (Stimpy in a thinly veiled disguise) would answer them.

Dr. Stupid was more of a psychiatrist if anything, but certainly not one that could help me with my problems.

1 – Dr. Nick Riviera (The Simpsons)

Like all professional doctors, Dr. Nick has a catchphrase.

When you think of quack doctors, maybe doctors that received their degree from an online college, Dr. Nick Riviera comes first to mind.

Dr. Riviera’s ability to cut costs (as seen in him digging up graves for… who knows what) is admirable, I prefer my organ transplants to be less zombie market, although I can support generous prescription prescribers.

Did we miss any cartoon doctors you’d like to avoid? Leave us a comment below!

Author: Linz Rewind
Linz is a freelance writer and editor who just so happens to be obsessed with E.T. for Atari. Try not to hold it against her.