So, that is a little bit of what my beloved and I are doing right now. We are stopping (albeit we chose to “stop” in Maine instead of where we live) and we are spending some time reconnecting with one another and talking about some important things that we don’t always find the time to talk over at home.

Recently she was in the same room and she listened to me while I was on the phone with a very dear friend and thought-leader that I often use to bounce ideas around and see if any of them stick. We were discussing a writing project that I have and he was asking some pointed questions. My wife has not heard me discuss this project much and that conversation that she was able to listen in on has provided a golden opportunity for us to slow down from our busy lives and actually talk about some things that are important to each of us.

I spent a great deal of time earlier in the week extolling the virtues of Emotional Intelligence in the workplace. And I still believe there is a significant need for and benefit from increasing our EI/EQ and using that increased knowledge and wisdom in the workplace.

But, let me attempt to make a compelling case, and in fact a greater case, for emotional intelligence outside the office and in the home.

Consider the Emotionally Intelligent Husband

The emotionally intelligent husband is a step above the husband who is not aware of his emotional intelligence nor has he raised his emotional intelligence. What defines an emotionally intelligent husband is one who has figured out a secret to marriage that other husbands haven’t yet. That little secret, although it is actually pretty elementary, can actually be pretty difficult to develop because it requires him to become more aware of his wife and her needs. And this is contrary to human nature and a pop culture that says that it is all about me.

Like many husbands, the emotionally intelligent husband has learned to respect and honor his wife. But here is where the EI husband separates himself from the others.

I have been through several 5S training modules during the different stops in my career path. 5S is a methodology generated by Japanese manufacturing to improve the organization of a working area to drive efficiency and effectiveness. 5S stands for 5 stages identified by words that starts with the letter “S”. These stages are: Sort, Straighten, Shine, Standardize and Sustain(As translated into English).When fully supported from management down, it is a methodology I fully believe in. With that said, I’m only touching on one aspect of this methodology in this expose of thoughts from my mind. (scary place, I know)

What has been in my thoughts lately due to situations in my latest career stop is the last stage..…. “Sustain”. More to the point, how leadership in my experience commonly fails at driving actions to sustain implemented changes, processes, policies etc. An interesting item I read is that the Japanese word “shitsuke” (translated to “Sustain” to maintain the 5S moniker) may actually be better translated to the word “commitment”. Does this mean I believe leadership has failed to be committed on a whole? Not necessarily, but from a narrow viewpoint, I do think one of the more difficult aspects of effective leadership is a commitmentto sustaining actions after the “crisis” or “action” moments are implemented.

Maybe the conundrum with commitment to sustaining is that it is boring? Dull? Lacks glitter and glamour? It is humdrum? It does not bring forth the adventure of something new and of an attainable and tangible goal to concur!!! In training for 5S you won’t hear about problems with the first 3 steps very often. Why is that? Maybe because breaking something down and rebuilding it is a challenge. Transformation is something that we can visualize the change in, set easy goals that are perceptible in some way to achieve, can be easily celebrated and can make for a great graph or photo placed in a Powerpoint presentation. Sustaining is……..repetitive dedication to adhering to a standard. Where’s the excitement in that?