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Thursday, January 09, 2014

My Fears

I'm locked in a room. I try to see what's at my left and hear the flutter of wings. I shut my eyes and held my hands to my ears, curling myself into one small ball in hopes that those fluttering sounds would not get any nearer to me than it already is.

I hate those sounds. I hate the creatures that made those sounds even more. Dragonflies, butterflies. Some people say that these creatures are beautiful, but for me they are nothing more than horrifying. They are beautiful in drawings, yes, but in reality they are not. Not to me.

As much as I try to cover my ears and desensitize my senses, I continued hearing the drilling sounds of dental equipment and smell the terrible plastic-metallic stench of them. Dentists. The fear had probably started from knowing the pain involved with a visit to them.

I shut my eyes as hard as I could even in the dark, not wanting to see where the source of blood-curling screams of children come from. What's happening to the children? Are they hurting? What's being done to them, why are they screaming in pain?? I hear knives scraping against each other. I had goosebumps. My hands clawed at face, my scalp, my arms. I'm terrified. Knives are here somewhere. They are sharp. Too sharp. Like needles or blades. I don't like them. I want them away from me.

Something touched me. It felt wet. It called my name. It was dying. It was someone I love. It's leaving me alone, now of all times. I was vulnerable. I try to hold it close to me, for at the very least I would stay with it till it dies. At least I get to protect it from what I fear. Blood. so much blood. I smell it. The scent was overwhelming, making me dizzy. "Don't die, don't leave me." I told it.

And suddenly the room was bright, and I look up to see everything I fear crowding in on me. Pushing at me, trying to get into my brain and make me go insane. I looked to my right just in time to see blades and needles fly at my eyes. I couldn't move.