Sex Talk At The Greek Deli

I was standing in line, patiently waiting my turn, at our local Greek Deli. While admiring the pastries in the refrigerated counter in front of me, an older gentleman tapped my shoulder and asked, “Do you mind if I get in get in line behind you? I’d rather be behind a beautiful lady than a man.” I liked him immediately and straightened up, pulling my shoulders back and chest out. “Well, aren’t you sweet?” I replied.

I mentioned that the pastries in front of us were not only delicious, but calorie free. Cheesecake, cupcakes, tortes, baklava, bread pudding, fresh baked cookies and more lined the case. He said, “Too sweet for me. My mother was born in nineteen twenty and no one made cakes like hers.”

His brown eyes twinkled as he smiled with the memory. “I was born when Coolidge was running for president.” I’ll be ninety-three this month.” He looked seventy.

“Lots of sex,” he answered with a grin. He looked down at his basket and said, “And beets and peppers, very little meat, good food; but mostly lots of sex.” I burst out laughing. I expected him to tell me Geritol and fiber.

An attractive woman with mid-length brown hair arrived and put apples in his basket. She smiled at me pleasantly. I told her, “I’ve just learned about the fountain of youth from your husband.” She cringed and looked nervous. “What did he say now?” she asked.

“We must be related,” I told her. “I never know what words are going to come out of my husband’s mouth either. My daughters have mentioned getting him a Mute Button.”

He leaned in and said emphatically, “I told her the real secret is lots of sex.” She laughed out loud and smacked his arm. He was laughing now too. The three of us were howling waiting our turn.

After I checked out my frozen spinach and penne dinner, I bid farewell and told them it was good chatting with them. He smiled and said, “It was good laughing with you.”

“I’m going home right now to tell my husband that we need to be forever young.” I laughed as I touched his arm. “I’m throwing out all my wrinkle creams. I’ve been doing it wrong for years!”

“Go get him, girl!” He was still laughing as I left the store.

Some people search for years to find the fountain of youth. I just go to my local Greek Deli.

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Hi! I’m Anne Bardsley.

…..Over the years, my work has appeared in Erma Bombeck’s humorwriters.org, Scary Mommy, Better After 50, Midlife Bouldvard, The MID, The WIRL Project, The Island Reporter, and others. I am currently working on my next book, Angel Bumps. See the call for submission tab if you’d like to share a story.

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