This amazing mom and her 1 and 3 year old entered our program in the middle of February.
This family has been in Venice for the past year but could no longer keep staying where they were. Mom is originally from New Jersey but moved to Florida when she was 4 years old. She was raised on Marco Island. The children’s father was deported to Haiti and mom therefore does not receive child support which makes everything more difficult. Mom is training for a manager position at her current place of employment in order to get a raise. However, she also has her CNA training and will be taking the test for certification to hopefully raise her income enough to support herself and these great children.

5 years ago, reflecting.

A story from Family Promise National

Five years ago, I cried myself to sleep in a large Sunday School room, in the basement of a local church. I cried uncontrollably, while my six children slept within the same four walls, fast asleep on roll-a-way beds and a pack and play crib. I shed tears of a deep rooted shame, stemming from what life had become; shame that earlier that day, as my beautiful family ate a free lunch at the local soup kitchen, I had made the choice to ask for help, the choice to let “them” know that my family had nowhere to go, regardless of consequence. I had decided that if my children, my reason for breathing, were taken from me, they were better off without me; I couldn’t provide for their basic needs. I cried, ashamed to be sleeping in a church, dependent on others for food, safety, and shelter; I cried knowing I had failed my Littles, who deserved so much better than this, so much better than the nights past, sleeping in a van.

I cried tears of anger; I was angry I couldn’t provide for my children, angry that I was such a failure, angry that my angels had abandoned me when I needed them most, angry that God didn’t answer my prayers in the months leading up to this moment. I was angry that the battles, so many battles, to survive, working to not become a statistic, pigeon-holed as the product of the foster care system, had amounted to this. I was angry that the years of hard work to be “successful,” the sheer stubbornness of disproving the many who, over and over, told me I’d never amount to anything, had devolved to this: being nothing, a burden to others, and a failure as a mother.

God, I was angry. Anger has always been my surface emotion when I’m afraid; it’s a hell of a survival mechanism. I was so afraid. I was terrified. What if the morning light would bring social workers to take my children? Was this just a place where we could be watched while “they” were looking for a placement for my kids? This couldn’t be real, churches providing shelter, strangers providing meals and kindness to worthless mothers like me. It sounds crazy, but this was a real thought, accompanied by a real plan of how I was going to end my life if my children were ushered into county vehicles as we left the church in the morning.

I was terrified. What if this was it? Most terrifying of all, so many tears shed over this thought. What if this was all there was ever going to be: a Sunday school room as Home, living with strangers and people who showed kindness, but surely saw what a failure I was? What if there was nothing more for my children, ever again?

Today is my fifth anniversary of entering Family Promise shelter. This is the fourth year, I have sat on my couch, safe in my home, and allowed myself to reflect, to cry and grieve with the woman and mother I was that night. I allow myself to remember and feel the pain and the fear, that’s not so distant a memory that it’s hard to recall.

This time of reflection reminds me how absolutely short “thankful” falls when I recall the many “strangers” who walked with me and my kids in the months after this night, and how amazingly blessed I feel to have had the strangers on that journey, who became friends and family as a result of this night. It is these “strangers” who helped me to learn to see value in myself again; these strangers who showed me compassion when I had absolutely nothing to offer, who taught me to trust, and it is this time in my life that I learned not only who I am, but who I want to be.

This is the night which, five years ago, cracked open the door to today; this is the night which reminds me vividly of the heartache, fear, grief, and hopelessness which accompanies homelessness and those who find the strength, in a moment of absolute despair, to come out of the shadows and ask for help.

This is the night when I remember most why I love what I do and love those who work alongside me each and every day, in our community and communities nationwide. Most importantly, this night reminds me of the importance of compassion, kindness, and truly seeing each person who reaches out with “Can you help? We don’t have anywhere to go.”

Current Needs

The Day Center and our families are currently in need of:

shampoo and conditioner, large bottles please

cold medicines, child and adult

feminine hygiene products *really need

deodorant, men and women

laundry soap and fabric softener *really need

FPSSC Stats

2018

58 families served: 104 children and 168 people total

Access Point - 15 families: 28 children and 41 people total

Emergency Shelter - 23 families: 36 children and 65 people total

Bridge Housing - 14 families: 21 children and 37 people total

Open Door - 6 families: 19 children and 25 people total

Dates to Remember

Volunteer Training: 3-12-2019 at the Day Center, 4-5:30 PM - This training is for anyone who wants to volunteer with their congregation doing meals, hosting and overnights. All volunteers must go through training. Please RSVP if you will be attending to Allisa at aoleary@familypromisessc.org to ensure adequate space is available.

Coordinator Meeting: 3-12-2019 at Christ United Methodist Church, 5:30-6:30 PM - This meeting is for Coordinators at the Host and Support Churches.

United Way of South Sarasota County Annual Walk-A-Thon: 4-6-2019, starts at 7:30. Will be held at Island Walk, West Villages. www.uwssc.org

From the Director

I saw a note recently from Allisa, our Family Service Coordinator for the families we serve, and it really touched my heart. She said, "I wanted to share something with everyone that has been on my mind and will always be in my heart and keep a lump in my throat. Going through one of our children's backpacks, looking at homework, I came across a project for Thanksgiving that she did. It was a picture of a toilet and underneath the picture she wrote, 'I am thankful for a toilet so I don't have to go in the dirt.' Sometimes we forget to be thankful for the simple things in life."

For so many children, today was not a good day and tomorrow does not look much better. Please remember to always be kind, patient, caring and most of all helpful! You really can make a difference and you never know how big of an impact even the smallest gesture can have.

Thank you and bless you all!

Jennifer Fagenbaum, Executive Director

jenniferfagenbaum@familypromisessc.org

941-497-9881 ext. 106

VOLUNTEER

If you would like to become part of the family, please visit our website to send us your information and we will be in touch about volunteer opportunities.