Well Endowed

Game-Changing Holiday Gifts of 2013

They say ’tis better to give than to receive. Which is questionable. (And who says ’tis, anyway?) Still,
it’s that time of year when you’re looking to knock everyone out with the kinds of gifts that make other
gift-givers feel inadequate. Gifts like these...

FOR THE BIKE-LANE ADVOCATE

Shinola x Filson Bixby Bicycle

There are bikes, and then there are shiny new Detroit-made two-wheeled masterpieces outfitted with two of
mankind’s greatest luggage-related works from Filson. This... is the latter. We figure you’ve got at
least three days before it’s stolen.

Jasper Short by Wes Lang

Sleepy Jones: masters in the field of loungewear. And they’ve commissioned these handsome boxers from Wes
Lang, the man behind Kanye’s Yeezus tour T-shirts. Where you come in: buying them for someone at
SJ’s pop-up on Bowery. You probably guessed that.

Gambling is wrong. Immoral. Completely uncouth. But if you’re going to do it, you should probably use
these gift dice from the Stork Club, one of the most famous New York nightclubs and restaurants that ever
existed. It should make the whole endeavor a little couther.

There’s a Brooklyn photographer who’ll hook your giftee up with a subscription of nude shots he takes as
part of his art. He will also take requests based on your preferences. We thought it best not to ask too
many questions beyond that.

Some things are subjective—best food, best city, best... food city. But with regards to who had the
greatest signature of all time, there’s no doubt—it’s John Motherf**king Hancock. And here is his
actual signature, on a letter confirming his Electoral College appointment. Though he seems to have left
“Motherf**king” out this time.