Let’s Talk Cleavage.

Hey people. Toolsman here. So the holidays are over and it’s back to the craziness this life brings. I’m really sorry I don’t have any thought-provoking/intelligent topic for us to discuss today. Infact, I really don’t know how to term today’s dialogue but I’d like to crave your indulgence and ask that you ‘humour’ me with your responses.

It all started a couple of days back when I changed my Twitter app. The new app was recently developed and it had all the new techy features. One of those features is the scarily vivid thumbnails of the avatars on one’s timeline. Now, by scarily vivid, I mean, the images are so refined that you can almost see all the details without enlarging it. Coming from my old app on which I hardly ever had avatars turned on, this was a major difference. First glance at my timeline and I almost didn’t recognize anyone. It almost felt like I had signed into the wrong account. I instantly took notice of the avatars and as I scrolled through my timeline, it was almost as if there was a pattern.

I’ve never been able to decide if I’m really a boobs or ass man. I’m probably stuck somewhere in between but like most men, I appreciate a well-packaged and erm… well-presented pair of ‘breastices’. By the time I zoomed into the third avatar, I leaned back on my chair and thought to myself… So…. ?

Being a teasing man, I have come to learn that the actual process of enticement or seduction doesn’t happen outside the mind. Yes, it might start there but it’s completed in ones mind. As a result, I’ve always been an advocate of ‘less can be more‘ (notice I said ‘can’ because a lot of factors go into that). I really don’t know what it is (and that’s part of why we are here), maybe education, independence, societal pressure or whatever but over the past few years, I’ve discovered that our women ‘seem’ to have almost lost respect for that one sexual body part every man in the world should have had some sort of connection with regardless of their sexual status/preferences.

This is a Wednesday Dialogue post, it will eventually lead to some sort of debate but before then, please bear with me as I present my case. Let me journey back a few years to my freshman year at Unilag (ok, a lot of years). I remember the excitement that came with my admission and the subsequent resumption of lectures. I was going to be in Unilag; the social capital of Lagos. That easily meant access to all the crazy, willing-to-explore-whatever girls in Nigeria. Ok, I was really young back then but you get the point.

One of the first things that however got my attention back then was how self-conscious a lot of the girls in school were. Yes, they were mostly down for whatever but only the really bold ones would even come to class sporting a really low-necked tank top. It just seemed out of place. Fast forward a lot some years forward and it’s almost as if the sexual revolution is back but only bolder and more aggressive. I was in Unilag all through last week for a work-related project and My God, it was erm… Fleshy, to say the least.

Before you think I’m a cave man who thinks women should be wrapped up everywhere they go, let me just say – I’m not. I’ve sometimes encouraged my own sister to loosen up her dressing a bit. What then am I going on about?

How much of cleavage is too much cleavage?

Yesterday, I tweeted: “… how valuable is a woman’s cleavage nowadays?” and I got an array of interesting answers. Personally, I don’t mind the occasional tease. I need some erm… “Encouragement” from time to time don’t I? But when you bait a horse with so many apples too often, it gets bored and starts to crave something else.

Thankfully I’m not yet at that point and even if I was, this post isn’t my attempt at getting women to start exposing other body parts. Cleavage will forever attract men (it’s the forerunner to a taste we acquired very early on) but if you make a habit of putting it in our faces all the time then don’t blame us if that’s all we ever want from you.

So what do I want to know? For the guys reading this, take a step back from hating me for writing this and please tell us how much value you would ascribe to a woman’s cleavage nowadays with respect to other body parts? And for the women, has it almost become second nature for you to show cleavage? Do you make conscious efforts to put it out there because you think or know it gets guys attention? So, people, let’s talk boobies. Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.

Packaging is the key :) an attractive woman will remain attractive whether she's naked or fully clothed and we all know it's better to be fully clothed. I'm obviously not advocating ladies should walk around in turtle necks. U̶̲̥̅̊ can show some cleavage if u're comfortable but as Tula said, less is more. And pls have a great personality to back up ur good looks :) #ok bye, dat comment was an epistle lol

So many girls don't know how to strike a balance, how to show enough boobage when you feel like, and not go tipping over. They don't.

More often than not, it borders on distasteful.

When girls with small boobies show cleavage, it could look really nice, if held together properly. But nah if you're a D cup, don't think you can wear the same cut in a dress as Beyoncé or Blake Lively/Serena Van der woodson.

I'm not saying bigger boobed girls can't show cleavage, its just not as easy.

And if your trademark/fashion statement is cleavage. Nah, I don't think that's a good look for ANY girl.

Cleavages are delicate things. Elegant. Sweaty. Dark. Enticing. Makes a man wonder what truly lies beneath? Unfortunately, some cleavages don't make the cut. They actually make a man's penis invert. Please hide them. To all those with beauful cleavages however, the world is your playground. Oh, what app was he talking about? I want to get a load of those things he was talking about too.

I really don't know why they show off boobies…I'm with Tula on this one. This is a question I've always asked. Will a lady be less beautiful/attractive/confident if she does not show her cleavage?

I used the ipad twitter app and some handles were..errrr…interesting. Bet y??? Come out ladies and pray tell what this is about…no lectures on why not or judging those who do this..just simply tell why u want us to see the cleavage…confuse us guys to do your bidding? Needless to say, we ogle over them often but truth is guys will still stare at boobs even if you wear turtle neck. I think this is enough…

A couple of years ago (im 20), I was able to show cleavage on an almost everyday basis without looking trashy, simply because I had smaller boobs, now? Not so much. As someone above me commented, its a lot more difficult to strike that balance without looking trashy when you have larger boobs. These days, I prefer to wear things that are covered above and show leg instead, or nothing at all.

I'm just not comfortable looking the least bit trashy, but I, like most other women, love to turn heads. It's all about finding a balance that works for your body type.

Nothing wrong with showing a 'little' cleavage, if you've got it flaunt it, no? That being said, if you're going to show cleavage then ur outfit shouldn't be too short else you come off as trashy. My $0.02

Err I dint knw the female mammaries had so many names like dat.. :)… 'Bazooma sha'.. Well my take on dis like tula said is "less is more"!….it irks me more wen I see girls with amplified stretch marks flaunting cleavage too…that's just *uggh*

I've never showed cleavage, just because I am an A cup. When babes with big boobs, show small cleavage I like it, when its too much and we can almost see your nipple, I am disgusted. I feel its wrong to show cleavage everyday, and if you are showing cleavage, then cover them legs, too much skin out there everyday is outright slutty. Just like you Tools, my bro encourages me to loosen up with my dressing sometimes… LOL…

Erm.. Alot of women here are side stepping my questions o. We all know less is more.. as long as we don't have pictures to back up your claims, we wont push it. What I want to know is what goes through your mind when you pick out those outfits/when you take pictures for your avatars.

I don't take pictures for my twavatar,that'll be pushing things a little to the left no?When I get tired of the current one,I simply replace it with something from my library.

As for dressing up,I wear what I'm comfortable in,not what people think I should and this includes the cleavage showing top/dress. If I'm showing cleavage on any day,its cos I wanna look down occasionally and thank God for not making me flat all round.

I didn't say I pour out my boobies,I said I show cleavage…and its not something I do everyday,I do it once in a while. Whether I'm in a turtleneck or buba,there's always attention for the twins so I don't go seeking it by wearing a deep-necked top.

Sometimes a hint is good. Just a little to stimulate a man's imagination and this adds to the overall appeal of a woman. However, some women don't know when d line btw looking sexy and looking slutty has been crossed.

I generally I'm an ass person, but a little cleavage is always nice and if its included in d package, ¯..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

I'm not for cleavage as I'm not so endowed in my upper region, but girl if your boobs are stretch-mark free, show your cleavage as you please but with some caution depending on the event. Less really is more.

I love tits. I worship them. I love when they are big, round, perky and juicy. Greedy SOB I am. They are beautiful parts of God's grand design for females. But please believe, when they are all up in my face sagging with stretch marks, they lose their appeal. Hide what you should and when you should. Less is more is the golden rule that applies every time.

Me, I don't like low cut tops… Its counter-productive for me.. It just makes me feel self conscious NOT sexy.. And trust me, I. Am easily attractive without showing ANY skin.. I'll much rather show my legs. (Ps: I am a C cup- so its not like i'm 'flat' therefore self conscious)

Toolsman you should be cremated for actually whining about ladies exposing their boobs.

What irks me is when a girl reveals her boobs and you chat her up hoping for sex since she's peddling her goodies and she gives you the i-don't-do-such-what-do-you-take-me-for speech. It pisses me off. You are dressed that way and you want a conversation? GTFOH.

I get what you mean but assuming every gurl who over-exposes her boobs wants sex.. but according to the women here, it isn't always the case.. sometimes, they just want to feel "comfortable" or "appreciate" what the good Lord has blessed them with…

To be honest, i am a very fashion conscious person, very vain too. when i pick out an outfit, i make sure it is suitable for the occasion, and i'm very conscious of that fashion rule, when showing chest, don't show legs and vice versa. i have very small perky boobs and i love to show it off, but i also have very pretty legs (its my trumpet i should blow it.) hence i make sure there's a balance that way i don't come off as trashy. i like to show off my boobs cause i think they're cute even though they're small, i don't show them because i want to turn anyone on. its basically about my own self confidence, it boosts mine when i have a little cleavage showing. and i always leave a bit, enough actually for your imagination. That's the key.

i just feel good when i have a little showing, it makes me feel good. like i have something you guys don't, i feel sexier, like they're small yet so cute and cool. its not something i can explain. i'm vain and obsessed with my body so yeah.

Fuck all ya hatars out here. A nigga lik to see his bitch keep it real wit dem titties, ya feel me?

Damn! Whole fuckin careers done been built wit da cleavage and shit. Ya got a job interview, bitch flash dem titties and the job is is as good as yo's bitch. Ya jus gatta suck dick to keep it afterward is all.

But seriously girls need to start getting flogged for their avatars on twiiter..may I also add that sme r not real pictures

Iv always had boobs…I personally don't feel cormfortable in wearing too revealing tops n dresses.. I think as a busty person if u wear a turtle neck or even kaftan. Nothing can hide ur boobs really. Why stress urself in putting them all out while u can be fully clothed and sexy

I also want to disgree with d person who said a D cup size woman can wear a dress that has d same cut as d one an A or B wld wear. Bloody lie. Again it depends on d body size

Boobs, just as u wont expose ur babies feeding bottle, arent to b exposed! Clothes are given to us for covering! Then again, i speak like this cos id rather my carriage , attitude n intellect do the attracting!

that shows you how much i love breasts but in my own weird situation I can't recall attributing a woman's proclivities to the extent to which she exposes her cleavage, the dressing/exposure depends on the situation or sometimes it doesn't (though a woman's breasts exposed to an extent is a major distraction)…

Cleavage showing to some is an art, others, a form of rebellion. To me, its peek- a – boo. My $4.

not tiny! small! and yes i do. as a matter of fact, almost every female wears push up bras, from the double d's to the a's push up bras are a must, its not just for flat boobs, sagging boobs too, which almost every female with c cups and above are characterized with. and even normal boobs that are not sagging need to look better sometimes. its a female thing really.

My bad. They aren't tiny, they are small. Have you ever been in a situation where you were about to have sex with a guy and when you took of your bra, what he saw turned out different from what the bra projected?

I think ladies should reveal just enough to arouse interest, and just enough so they don't seem slutty.. Its a personal issue that has to do with self esteem.. Some ladies can show cleavage and hold their head up high while doing so while some ladies can't even show their chest without feeling embarrassed. I also happen to think it has something to do with the upbringing and exposure that a lady has had. Someone who grows up watching Etv and American movies will more likely see nothing wrong with revealing cleavage while someone who grows up watching Nigerian (?) movies and going to church where she's told its not ok to show ur body parts will think its devilish or demonic to show cleavage. These two arguments can be valid depending on who is arguing. This brings me back to my earlier remark.. Its a personal matter of the mind and other factors..

Ok. But you do realise you are cheating though with the push up bra and all. A guy with a small dick has nothing to push up, a woman would just have to take him the way he is. My point, self confidence is all in the head. You don't have to show or push up anything to be confident and get the attention of men. As long as you've got the looks, personality and intelligence, you've got it all.

I beg to differ. I think you CAN dress for yourself. When I wear sexy lingerie underneath my clothing, I'm not doing it because I'm hoping to undress for a man later in the day. I'm doing it because I look at myself in the mirror and smile at what I see (call it vanity or whatever).

Also when I decide to dress to show cleavage, I'm doing becauuse the few times my head drops during the day, I want to see those fine babies staring at me! Now if I happen to turn some heads 'I' have turned those heads…all ME…so at the end of the day I've dresse up for ME!

I used to have big boobs. My mother beat d exposure of aforementioned boobs out of me. My boobs r normal sized now. Yet I do not expose them. I have learnt that I do not need to show flesh to attract ppl. I get more attention than d average girl amd I'm a tshirt and jeans person. I don't even wear v necks cos of d possibility of 'flashing' for me, cleavage is equivalent to butt crack. How anyone can feel comfy exposing either is beyond me

Well….I'm an E cup, I'm really tiny for my body structure so even without me opening a few of my buttons, the boobs are there staring u in the face. ℓ☺ℓ​‎​. However, a woman should be very classy in her dressing. A woman should know what to wear, when and where. For instance, wearing a clevage revealing blouse to work is a bit much, it's a corporate environment and wouldn't speak well of a woman, however if going clubbing, yes cleavage is okay but keep it to the barest minimum, you don't want all your goodies out there to the whole world that any guy dat sees you instantly knows what you look like naked…. Too much cleavage draws the wrong attention and to the wrong guys too! Trust me I know. So please ladies show a bit of class in the way you dress. Remember, you'll be addressed by the way you dress. Always remember that.

Wonder why all the long thing since morning…..its simple……if you v got it flaunt it. even if u aint got it…use push up bra…..no man forced you to show some cleavage. But dont be surprised when u get stares all around…in the words of my cousin and close friend…Kanye….."if she's got the goods, i have got to look…sorry". Just be smart enuff to apply wisdom like say……minimum cleavage at the work place.

I never have to show much cleaves for attention cos my B-cup boobies are bright yellow so a lil of it does the trick.. *giggles*

Too much cleavage is too much cleavage irrespective of the boob size.. Infact those with larger boobies should cover up lots more cos it looks all everywhere when they have a huge chunk in sight. Its size is enough for your dosage of boob attention.

For the rest of us with average-sized girls, the slightest hint of the darker skin that leads to the cleavage is borderline trashy.

@Drpeperempe,it is very possible to dress up for yourself. I love clothes,so I'm wont to wearing lovely things just to make myself happy. Ofcourse,people loving it is important too.

@PreyingMantis,the push-up bras aren't just for people who want to double magnify their breasts. I have a couple(a lot actually) and its because they are generally more comfortable and nipples don't strain for attention in them.

@Toolsman,to answer your question: When I pick out an outfit,I'm looking for these things:

1.Something that isn't a fashion faux-pas

2.Something people would see,love and remember.

3.Something that,if a poll is to be taken,would be in the percentile of 'best outfit'.

Thus the mantra 'Less is More'….let my imagination do the remaining!!! Put all them goods out there and my ratings of you go down the drain. Common y'all u don't need cleavage to get the 'right' guys attention….ur personality and charisma does it all.

its not puttin ur boobs out dere dat make u look sexy its ur overall air… try sporting a GG size boobs, u'll spend every waking day tryna minimize how dey look. My boobs are very obvious cos they r big, putting dem out there all the time = trashy. They get their moments out there on special occasions but just a little peek is enuf.

Showing cleavage also depends on where and when undoing a few more buttons on shirt to work is a no no …for a night out why not… But ultimately less is more… there is enuf cleavage and there is too much cleavage..u miyte as well pull out ur boobs..

its not puttin ur boobs out dere dat make u look sexy its ur overall air… try sporting a GG size boobs, u'll spend every waking day tryna minimize how dey look. My boobs are very obvious cos they r big, putting dem out there all the time = trashy. They get their moments out there on special occasions but just a little peek is enuf.

Showing cleavage also depends on where and when undoing a few more buttons on shirt to work is a no no …for a night out why not… But ultimately less is more… there is enuf cleavage and there is too much cleavage..u mite as well pull out ur boobs..

Cleavage display. Born out of the need for attention. A girl has to ask herself if she's gonna get the right type of attention though…cause whoever she attracts would be attracted to her boobs not her personality. In english, DON'T.

Okay, for those of us that GOD has endowed with just a little bit more than the other sister's out there it does not make any difference to us whether we wear a turtle neck or not. Why! Guys and to a certain degree women will always stare directly at the breasts. Yep, like they can talk, walk or even smile. So, it's not about flashing anything. It's just about keeping it real. For practical purposes, I recommend a good fitting bra that does not cause backache – bravissimo is a good place to start. I never wear turtle necks. What's the point, you'd look like a balloon. So your blouses or dresses must be flattering to your cleavage but not necessarily all out there, and honestly, do not ask to touch or feel after all, I do not go around grabbing men by the balls because I'm looking for a 10 incher. What else can I say, most of it has been said before.

Well personally…. just a little bit of cleavage exposure turns me on badly… but wen it's getting much it's Ewwww to me…. so i think a little bit only…. like 1/8 of d boobs… ok well depends on d size also sha…. but just a little bit dat makes us thrilled of wat is left of d boobs i think is enough…. n yeah i know i carried last again :(

I love this statement!!! So on point.——>Cleavage will forever attract men (it’s the forerunner to a taste we acquired very early on) but if you make a habit of putting it in our faces all the time then don’t blame us if that’s all we ever want from you.

A woman's cleavage , relatively,will always amost be the undoing of any man, next to ass. And it is true that some women dress not necessarily for mens' attention, but for themselves. Like it or not, comfortable clothing gives u extra confidence. I know I feel more confident when I feel comfortable in what I'm wearing, and people find that comfort in a range of clothes…