#Repost @imstillhere78
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Please allow me to be very transparent today. My heart is heavy and has been for some time now. I have been in deep prayer and meditation crying out to Jesus concerning what he has been showing me concerning this world, children who are being abused and killed daily at the hands of their parents or the parents significant others, the state of the church and the rate of suicides that are taking place in this country. I will go back to my childhood first where I experienced many forms of abuse, inappropriate touches from men my mother dated touches that no young girl should ever experience in her life; the fear, withdrawal and isolation that I felt the walls I built up, was physically abused by my mother’s first husband and was often beat with extension cords, was placed in a bath tub of scalding hot water with opened wounds on my legs and body and at one time held a hot pressing comb against my arm as I smelled my skin burn. These incidents do not even touch the surface of all I endured and survived in my childhood. My first marriage was very abusive but what many do not know I am a mother of six children, I have two daughters living, I miscarried a set of triplets and lost another child through miscarriage due abuse; from that point is when I endured and survived a very violent rape which I was repeatedly raped at knife point. The rape was something I had masked for many years i was surviving but not living. During this time I became suicidal and felt so unworthy, not good enough or pretty enough, felt defeated and alone, i fell into a deep state of depression and was diagnosed with PTSD, my hair fell out in huge clumps and suffer from hair loss, hated to look at myself in the mirror for it was a constant reminder of the sexual assault, abuse and all the traumas I endured. Everyone always told me how strong I am but no one ever asked me how I am doing, if I were okay or needed to talk. For me things did get better I know for many that is not always the case. Please reach out to loved ones and friends and just listen. I’m not longer holding back from telling My Truth My Story #suicide #depression #mentalhealth #ptsd #katespade #anthony