Why Everything is Possible – An Interview with Martha Beck

One of the things I like to ask people is what feels impossible to them. If you had asked me that question, I would have said, “I’d love to do an interview with Martha Beck but there’s no way that’ll ever happen!”

But I went ahead and asked anyway.

You can only begin to imagine how I felt when I received a “yes” to my near-to-impossible request but even more, when I read these words from her in answer to one of my questions:

I believe things are even more magical and exciting than I was able to express….

No kidding! You couldn’t have told me that having Martha Beck on my site was possible. But clearly, it is.

MB: We live at a time of unprecedented change. Technological innovation means that many industries are disappearing, methods of production and transferring wealth are being upended. We’re also changing the face of the earth, affecting the oceans, the atmosphere, and the climate in ways that could be devastating to all life (except cockroaches). And the change is accelerating so quickly that futurists now say they can’t imagine what will happen by 2050. Ray Kurzweil calls that year “the singularity,” because, like the physics of singularity in a black hole, change will become so rapid that it can’t be meaningfully measured.

This is terrifying if you’re thinking the way most of us learned to during the 20th century—in methodical, logical steps focused on physical processes. But we evolved to cope with chaos, and so a return to our instincts—and to the methods of “wayfinding” used by our ancestors—can help us not only handle our challenges as individuals and as a group, but create huge positive change and even reverse the damage we’ve done. Not to be alarmist, but if we don’t do this soon, we’re toast. I believe that precisely the changes needed to thrive personally will give each of us skill sets we need to play a part in an overall positive transformation. It’s time for humans to begin living harmoniously, in a way we’ve never really seen. But it is possible, and necessary—and wonderful.

AO:We all dream of living fully and embracing our possibilities. If we only had time to cultivate one skill or attribute that would allow us to move closer to that reality, what would it be and why?

We would learn to question and dissolve our beliefs. Not that all our beliefs have to go—we just need to recognize the small, earthshaking truth that our beliefs are artifacts of mind, not reflections of absolute reality. Once you can question your beliefs, you can let go of almost all the torment that exists in many human minds. You can begin to see the world with less distortion, since our beliefs shape our perceptions (psychologists now know that we don’t believe what we see—we see what we believe, filtering perception to fit our preconceptions).

Once you hold beliefs lightly, you can respond to your instincts and your real preferences. Fears of failure and impossibility can be questioned and released. To a huge extent, people’s lives are a reflection of their expectations, and if we expect what brings us joy, rather than believing our fear, we can create changes so positive they look like miracles.

AO:I asked my readers what they would most love to ask you if they had the opportunity. I received many fabulous submissions but I chose these two because they speak to what many of us are afraid to say out loud.

First Reader Question: I know–deep down in the bottom of my soul know–that the work I’m doing isn’t the right work for me. I highly–skyscraper high highly–suspect my issues with work are closely related to my health issues. I even know what it is I love doing, and I know there are people making making-a-living money at it, and I know I have the talent to do it, too. BUT, I have tons to learn and it feels like I can’t do all the work/learning I need to do while doing this soul-sucking work that impacts my health AND given this economy and the two teenage children with college barreling towards us that I need to provide for and my age (solidly middle) I do not feel at all that I can be cavalier about any of this.

I am trying to do what I can in the time that I have and take care of my health and celebrate every little step forward I take … but I’m wondering if there is something else/more/different I might do.

For what it’s worth, when I was mired in the deepest pit of what-do-I-do-about-my-marriage/life hell, Martha’s book The Joy Diet was one of the ropes I pulled myself up with. When wanting to do something I’m unsure of, I still ask myself her question about whether the option I’m considering feels more like jumping into a clean pool of water or a murky, dirty one. Helps me every time.

MB: First of all, I’m honored that you found something worth reading in my books—thank you! What I’d suggest is that you begin slowly adding more of the “tons” you must learn to do your real life’s work, subtracting a little from the soul-sucking horrible job. I’m not asking for the moon—start with 15 minutes a day. You’ll find that the learning doesn’t require additional energy from you; it will give you energy.

I found this out when I was in violent chronic pain and exhaustion. Just 15 minutes a day of what I loved (reading novels and working on my first memoir) added so much energy that I felt I’d slept an extra hour. Don’t be daunted by the learning—have fun! If it really is taking you toward your heart’s desire, you’ll be amazed how different it feels from the work you’ve been told is “solid.” You’ll also learn surprisingly fast. Don’t think of it—the learning or building a career—as your “life’s work.” It is quite literally your life’s play. Work is SO twentieth-century.

Second Reader Question: I find that I constantly hold myself back – I can’t give into abundance or happiness even when I am in the midst of it. How do you learn to trust that and stop looking for the other shoe to drop? I do this in so many ways – including not taking advantage of wonderful opportunities that are basically handed to me on a platter. This is more than just living in the moment because I can find happiness in most moments as long as they remain small and therefore not scary – what is terrifying is THRIVING. Absolutely terrifying.

MB: Our brains are wired to look for danger and disappointment everywhere—but the wiring isn’t “hard,” it’s “soft.” Psychiatrists can help change the brains of someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder by showing them fMRI readings of their brains while they’re having an anxious moment. They learn the lesson we can all use on our anxieties: “This is just a connection in my brain I created by thinking anxious thoughts over and over. If I can think something else, the wiring will change and the anxiety will fade.”

AO: Thank you so much for sharing your time and thoughts with us, Martha. Is there anything else you would want us to know?

MB: Only that I believe things are even more magical and exciting than I was able to express in Finding Your Way. The more I “deep practice” the basic way of thinking (or not-thinking) that I described in the book, the more the world astonishes me. I can’t wait to read other people’s stories of the wild and crazy things that happen to others as they explore this way of operating in the world. We really can surf the waves of change, and the ride is just going to keep getting wilder.

So many gems in this interview, but what I love most is how you “went ahead and asked anyway” Andrea!

I also love Martha’s suggestion to start with small change, ie: adding 15 minutes of learning to each day. We’ve become so addicted to and/or fooled by the idea that we have to have big breakthroughs in order to transform when really it’s the small steps, the 15 minutes each day, consistently over time that cause the most profound shifts.

As you’re well aware, I am thrilled not only that Martha Beck is on your site; but more, that you asked – and got what you wanted. You continue to inspire me, my friend. Enjoy this day, Martha’s presence, and those of so many who will join you – those of us who follow, know, and love you and those who are about to.

This is a thoughtful and inspiring interview. Thank you Andrea, and in turn, thank you Martha.

I have had a thought popping about all morning, like the way the light in a peripheral vision test lights and then you have to click that you saw it.

Just reading, “This is just a connection in my brain I created by thinking anxious thoughts over and over. If I can think something else, the wiring will change and the anxiety will fade.” allowed me to deliberately think of something else. In fact, I went out and raked up leaves and swept the patio and cut some palm branches down, throwing myself into something physical for a half hour. It left me re-refreshed, like I was earlier this morning after my shower.

My brain and my yard and patio extend you their deepest Gratitude as well.

What a wonderful interview. Your questions really resonated with me – and I am sure others – and Martha’s answers were truly insightful and helpful. I learned a few things today and look forward to reading Martha’s new book. Thank you.

Kelly, it is so lovely to see you here! Thank you for your comments. Children are the best at making asks, aren’t they? We just need to watch them for a little bit to be reminded of what can happen if you just ask and ask again and again.

Wow – I am so glad was led to your site and to read this today. What an inspiring interview! And the fact that you went ahead and asked and Martha said ‘yes’ just brings the point home even further. Martha Beck’s name has been coming up again and again in the last week’s and I’ve been feeling pulled to explore her work. Just the other day a friend told me about this book, and I’m first on the list to borrow it when she’s done. Can’t wait!

Yes, yes, yes!! Those we put on pedestals are not on pedestals at all, they are just the same us – love it Andrea, thank you so much for having the wit, courage and humility to ask for what you wanted, and for Martha to show us what is real. It is just as she says … ‘we just need to recognize the small, earthshaking truth that our beliefs are artifacts of mind, not reflections of absolute reality’Jackie Walker recently posted..Being Me Interview – Debbie Nicol

The book is wonderful. And honestly–I’ve been carving out way more than the 15 minutes. I’m realizing from both the book and this response that I don’t need to DO anything different. I need to THINK different. I need more non-verbal thought time and I need to reframe my verbal thought. So much power in the mental shift from work to play. We know and accept that play is the pre-schooler’s “work.” Why can’t we do the same for our grown-up selves? And not feel guilty about taking time to “play.” Play is just work we want to do, right?Rita@thissortaoldlife.com recently posted..Fabric flowersA crafty guest tutorial

Wow! what a brilliant interview A’ and how proud I am of you for just taking “the bull by the horns” and asking for the interview.
I have never heard of the book you mention; The Joy Diet. So I’m off to look for it now.
Such great gems in this interview; TYSM xx

Love this interview. Just added this post as a comment to my latest blog which features Martha Beck’s work + her latest book, also! {love the deep practice + wordless technology! So immersed in this right now}
Thank you for creating this Andrea! its awesome to find you today! its good to see you on here too, Sandi!
thank you for sharing this blog so I found it ; )
Some really amazing things happening right now in the world. This is one of them!

luv this interview. thank. this just keeps creating new imprints with tha magical marker i am drawing my life goals with… right on my brain and heart. happiness is always with each breath, an opportunity to be created! thanku.