Curtain up...
... on the New Year as
Latest.TV & Theatre
Royal Brighton publish
a limited edition print to
raise funds for young
playwright project page 11

JIMMY CARR
Gagging Order
comes to Brighton

SEA MONSTERS 3
The annual music
festival returns

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v
a
w
Your monthly

lthy
guide to he1a2
living p

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2013
thelatest.co.uk

@latestbrighton

01 – 07 JANUARY 2013

Online now: All the listings for Sussex from yoga
and Pilates to comedy shows and live music.
Attention bands! The Latest Brighton Download
Latest Chart is expanding from audio to videos!
Get involved by emailing info@latestchart.co.uk

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homes are on
latesthomes.co.uk
With over 3,400
local properties,
more Brighton
& Hove homes
than any other
property website

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CONTENTS
Watch our shows

NEWS & COMMENT

In our Brighon Lights Football Special see
exclusive coverage from the big local derby:
Lewes Vs Whitehawk, plus Lewes Vs East
Thurrock, Whitehawk Vs Leiston and a special
report from The Amex.
In City Of...Comedy, Victoria Nangle goes
backstage at the first ever final of Brighton
Comedy Festival’s new comedy competition
Squawkers. Victoria meets winner Ingrid Dahle,
and Heather Ruck, the woman behind Squawkers
and this year’s Brighton Comedy Festival.
Meanwhile, Brighton Lights 44 sees Christina
Toimela and Alex Turchyn get their skates on at the
festive Royal Pavilion Ice Rink.
If you want to be part of Brighton’s TV channel,
come to our open democratic meetings at Latest
Musicbar every Monday at 5.30pm

12 Wave
Lose weight with Rosemary Conley classes,
Kettlebells Bootcamp and classes at Revitalise; stick
to your resolutions with Jonathan Conway, and beat
IBS with the College of Naturopathic Medicine
17 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink
Part one of Andrew’s Dutch culinary tour
18 Hotlist
Where to dine this week

LATEST NEWS
Candidates in wards like Wish,
Withdean and Hangleton and Knoll
will need to start working the
territory soon if they are to
dislodge their political opponents.
And in Goldsmid, the longer the
Conservatives leave it before
picking their team and ensuring
that their names and faces are
known, the less likely they will be
to recover lost ground.

Greens

Frank le Duc

TheVote
Expect battles over council tax and parking but
progress in creating school places and homes

T

he year ahead looks likely to
start with a brewing battle over
the budget. Should the Greens
be allowed to put up Council Tax or
should they freeze it once again in
line with government policy? While
the Conservatives have made their
position clear, Labour locally has yet
to declare its hand.
Although Labour is the smallest of
the three parties on Brighton and
Hove City Council, its decision will
decide whether we pay more from
April or our bills remain the same.
The Labour group could also swing
other votes by siding with the ruling
Greens or the opposition Tories.
Sometimes the party has abstained
rather than back a Conservative
proposal. This is probably no surprise
to many, as Labour is closer
ideologically to the Greens than the
Blues. But it has also tried to put
some distance between itself and the
Green group.
Some suspect that as the next local
elections approach, in May 2015, we
will hear plenty of public criticism
from Labour while privately the feelers
go out. The local Labour Party has
reformed itself over the past year and
a half and is growing in confidence.
But there is a recognition that winning
an overall majority is likely to be an
unrealistic goal and that some kind of
formal support from surviving Greens
could prove vital.

Veteran councillor Brian Fitch
recaptured the Hangleton and Knoll
seat that he lost in 2007. One political
opponent has suggested that he
sometimes seems to be playing it for
laughs and serving out his time. But
another observed that he may just be
picking his fights with greater care.
He gathered plenty of support as
he tackled Blatchington Mill School
over its hockey pitch floodlights. And
while he may not succeed in saving
Toads Hole Valley from the builders,
he is a seasoned campaigner who
will aim to bank future votes on the
back of his efforts.
Jeane Lepper continues to serve
Hollingdean and Stanmer even
though her husband David has
retired from the House of Commons
after 13 years as MP for Brighton
Pavilion. If Labour is to take back the
other two seats in the ward, the
party may need to bank on her
enduring sway and hope that she
stands again.
One of the new Labour councillors,
Anne Pissaridou, a grandmother and
former civil servant, has won
admirers across party lines since
winning her seat in Wish ward.
Another, Alan Robins, has brought an
authentic local voice to proceedings
as if he were a young Councillor
Carden. Councillor Robins is one of
Labour’s younger members even
though he is in his mid-fifties.

Labour

Tories

Labour’s difficulty is age related.
None of its young hopefuls were
elected in May last year. Long-serving
stalwarts such as Bob Carden and
Les Hamilton held their seats in
Portslade while helping to bring new
blood on board. The group’s leader Gill
Mitchell is probably the Greens’ most
effective critic.

The Tories also have an age
imbalance. Like Labour, its younger
candidates were unsuccessful in May
last year. Its youngest councillors
include retired police commander
Graham Cox who won the Westbourne
by-election just over a year ago. The
other two are Tony Janio, who is
never short of a jibe for the Greens,

Age poses different problems for the
Greens. Some of those standing
down just over 18 months ago were
relatively youthful and perhaps
mindful of their careers. Being a
councillor is not generally a route to
riches but can take up a lot of time.
While it is sometimes said of
career politicians that they couldn’t
run a whelk stall, Brighton and
Hove has had its share of able and
committed councillors. Even among
the current crop of Greens, Geoffrey
Bowden stands out as an able
businessman as well as a charming
and efficient chairman of meetings.
The bonhomie belies a character
quite capable of taking tough
decisions and using his drive to get
things done. In public he is far too
courteous to express dismay with
the slow pace of progress in the
political arena. But if positive
changes take place at Saltdean
Lido, Black Rock and the King Alfred
by 2015, he will deserve a measure
of credit.
The Greens’ youthful image is
exemplified by council leader Jason
Kitcat and Phélim Mac Cafferty, one
of the two deputy leaders. They
undoubtedly have energy but they
also won an election that the other

Vote online at www.thelatest.co.uk

and Andrew Wealls, who comes
across as a more thoughtful critic.
The charm and diplomacy
deployed by Councillor Wealls has
enabled him to work constructively
across party divisions at times.
These qualities could prove useful
within his group too. He and
Councillor Cox are regarded in some
quarters as representing the best
hope for their party locally.
But they will need to work
incredibly hard on the ground. Some
believe that the changing
demography of Brighton and Hove is
against them. Likewise the timing of
the next local elections – they are
expected to be held on the same day
that voters give their verdict on the
Conservative-led coalition.
One party activist said that David
Cameron and George Osborne’s
attempts to revive the economy may
well be the crucial factor, regardless
of how well councillors and
candidates work their wards.
Keeping a lid on factions and
rivalries will also be important
especially if selection contests are
held in seats such as Patcham.

For all the latest Brighton news visit www.thelatest.co.uk

006_007_LS609_newsft the vote_editorial 20/12/2012 10:35 Page 3

LATEST NEWS
two parties may well have been
glad to lose. Their lot has been to
oversee cuts. And they have had
limited opportunities to pursue
their own agenda.
The fall-out from the expulsion of
Christina Summers from the Green
group is unlikely to prove helpful
electorally. And parking has proved
another thorny issue where whoever
holds office is unlikely to win favour
for their decisions.
Ian Davey is trying to bring a
coherence to this aspect of policy,
with a city-wide parking review due to
be debated within weeks. His
opponents are keen to review parking
charges at the same time. Given the
noise generated by the last round of
price rises, which were also intended
to bring consistency as well as raise
more cash, he is reluctant to concede.
Whether it’s now, next year or election
year, his hand may well be forced.
The year ahead will also the
political parties try to make capital
out of the need for more school
places in primary schools as well as
secondary schools. Councillor
Wealls has been a particularly keen
advocate for free schools and
academies, a policy strongly
opposed by the Greens. He sees the
new schools as the best hope of
raising standards as well as
creating the required extra capacity.
With Whitehawk Primary School
likely to become an academy, and
the King’s School having been given
permission to open, the Greens may
well have to swallow their
opposition. If they actively block
progress, they face being accused
of playing politics with the future of
our children.
Housing is one area where,
despite some political posturing,

TheVote
What should the council’s
top priority be this year?

Marina Life

• Parking
• School places
• Building projects

Brighton Marina’s Kirsty Pollard on
the great savings to be had with
the 2013 Gold Advantage Card

• Sustainability
Vote online at www.thelatest.co.uk

there is a degree of consensus and
some signs of progress. Former
council leader Mary Mears started a
programme of work in this area, with
former councillor Maria Caulfield.
When Green councillor Bill Randall
took over as leader, the broad
direction of policy continued even if
the tone of voice changed. Council
houses and flats are being
refurbished using a creative
financial scheme. And new building
is taking place. The council is behind
a modest amount of this but, more
importantly, is encouraging housing
associations in particular to invest
in Brighton and Hove.
The success of Brighton and Hove
Albion and the stadium’s sponsor
American Express are as crucial to
the local economy as anything that
our politicians decide. But plenty of
political decisions will decide which
road we take in the year ahead. Or
perhaps that should be which cycle
lane we take. Or even which bus. One
thing’s for sure – it’s going to be an
interesting ride. ■

07

t’s back, it’s big and this year it’s gone Gold! Be the first to get your hands on the
2013 Gold Advantage Card. Take advantage of these all year round deals available at
participating Brighton Marina venues. This year’s card celebrates its third year of
operation. We’ve gone all out in 2013 with the launch of the Gold Advantage card. It
give you a great range of money-saving deals, available at 40 participating Brighton
Marina shops, restaurants, and services on dry and wet sides of the Marina. This is a
must-have loyalty card delivering 40 fantastic money-saving deals available at one
great destination, and with free customer parking, what’s not to love?!
The Marina offers some of the best dining and café options in the city, along with
great shopping and superb leisure pursuits. It’s easy to obtain: simply apply online for
your 2013 Gold advantage card and you will receive it in the post. Registration is
available from 1 January onwards. Visit brightonmarina.co.uk, apply and the card will be
with you in around seven working days; then it’s smart savings for the rest of the year.

I

Shopping & dining discounts
Here is just a taste of what you can expect from your Gold Advantage card: 10%-20%
discounts and money back offers are available at a range of retailers such as Calvin
Klein, and The Factory Shop as well as interior stores such as Pebbles Furnishing &
Coco. The Marina has a great choice of independent shops where you won’t be able to
find what they have to offer anywhere else..
With the enormous array of food and dining offers available to card holder you could
eat out at least once a month with 2 for 1 offers on a la carte menus at restaurants
such as Memories Of India as well as 20%-25% off your food bill at restaurants such
as Café Rouge, Pizza Express, Hotel Seattle, Coast to Coast & The Brasserie.

2-4-1 bowling & more...
Looking for something fun to do with the whole family? Pop in to Bowlplex where you
can buy one game and get one free or if it’s a night out with the grown up visit the
Rendezvous Casino where you can buy one drink and get your second free! If you take
pride on your appearance there are some great hair and beauty discounts up for grabs
at Spa Tara, Cassi Hair & Beauty and Marina Dentalcare. If getting active at sea takes
your fancy check out the scuba diving, pleasure, powerboat, fishing and sailing trip
deals up for grabs in 2013.
For a full list of the offers, terms and conditions or to
apply for the Gold Advantage Card then please visit the
website www.brightonmarina.co.uk

Penny Thompson talks to Frank le Duc about what to
expect from her as the new chief executive of Brighton
and Hove City Council

T

he arrival of Penny Thompson was compared
by one council insider as like watching a film
where the hero jumps from a bridge on to the
roof of a runaway train. In her case the train could
be the thousands of staff or the hundreds of
millions of pounds of spending of which she now
has charge. Her job is not so much to bring the
train to a juddering halt as to ensure it stays on
the right track.
Her first six weeks or so were spent meeting
councillors, staff and people from partner
organisations – in the public sector and in the
community and voluntary sector. She said that it
involved a great deal of listening. Having
clambered inside the train from the roof, she has
been trying to work out who does what – and how
well they do it.
And just before Christmas she sent a paper to
her senior managers to start a consultation about
the way that the council is managed. It talked
about “reshaping the executive leadership team”.
In plain English, it means job cuts at the top.
The Labour group leader Councillor Gill Mitchell
has been calling for a root and branch
reorganisation for some time rather than “salami
slicing” the council’s staff and spending pots.
And at Penny Thompson’s first council meeting
last month, Councillor Tony Janio, a
Conservative, said that there were more than
500 staff with the word “manager” in their job
title. It was too many, he said.

Time for change
The detail has yet to emerge so it is too soon to
say whether Penny Thompson is about to start a
root and branch reform or whether the changes
will be more akin to tinkering. Given that she had
to shut down the last organisation that she ran – a
quango called the General Social Care Council –
she should know what is involved if she is to make
radical changes.
She said: “I learnt the importance of focus. If
you’re shutting something down, you really have

to have focus, working well with people and
garnering their absolute support and commitment.
Otherwise I couldn’t have done what I did, which
was keep the organisation going, improve its
performance and then hand over its functions. I
had to take my staff with me.”
She said that after the closure was announced,
her priorities included managing an effective
transfer and closure, leaving a positive legacy,
while treating staff with respect and care. She had
previously taken charge of NHS Haringey in
London while the chief executive was away on a
secondment. The job involved leading on child
protection, now increasingly referred to as
safeguarding. She started a year after the death of
a local child called Peter Connelly – also known as
Baby P or Baby Peter. She has held senior posts in
challenging times.

“The role of the chief
executive is to create the
conditions that allow
people to succeed”
Unlike the four previous chief executives of
Brighton and Hove City Council, she comes to the
job having already served as a council chief
executive. She ran Hackney in London for two and
a half years from 2005 where she tried to instil a
“customer first” approach. Her predecessor John
Barradell also talked about placing great emphasis
on excellent customer service. One critic said that
customers can take their business elsewhere in a
way that council tax payers cannot.

Top priorities
More frequently though Penny Thompson used the
word “citizens”. She said her priorities were to:

• Tackle inequality
• Create a more sustainable city
• Engage people who live and work in Brighton
and Hove
• Modernise the council
She said that she would run an efficient, open
and customer-focused council which operated
collaboratively, creatively and with respect. And
she would clarify the council’s ambition and
purpose, including ensuring the best deal for
council tax payers.
She said: “It’s a privilege and a challenge being
a local authority chief executive with such a
diverse and fascinating set of responsibilities and
demands. Brighton and Hove is a truly wonderful
city with huge potential for the future and the city
council has an important role to play.
“I plan to build on progress made recently and
to honour my commitment to leading an
organisation where accountabilities and purpose
are clear and delivery is our main focus. I look
forward to working with staff, partners and elected
members of all political parties to help the city
fulfil its potential.”
She added: “I’m somebody who builds on
progress. I’m very forward looking.” And after her
predecessor was criticised for his trying to
implement an approach known as intelligent
commissioning, she said that it was increasingly
commonly used by local authorities. It involves,
among other things, trying to eliminate duplication
in the public sector and trying to bring about more
joint working.
She added: “It seems to me to be a very
important discipline. As an organising principle it
has some shortfalls. I don’t think it’s a determining
organising principle. But I’m not going to sit here
and bad-mouth my predecessors. Some of the work
that’s been done in children’s and adult services –
doing things in different ways – is quite significant.
I’m not sure that’s always come across.”

The task ahead
Her own professional background is as a social
worker. She ran the social services department in
Sheffield for six years before becoming chief
executive of Hackney Council. But she won’t be
trying to second guess her specialist staff, she
said, adding: “The role of the chief executive is to
create the conditions that allow people to succeed.
It’s not to think that I’ve got the monopoly on good
ideas. I will provide support and challenge and by
that I hope to help them to come up with solutions
to meet the needs of our citizens.”
The 58-year-old mother of three grown up
children is moving to Hove with her partner – it’s
easier to find an affordable home with a decentsized garden in Hove than in Brighton. And she
wants to be able to walk to work at King’s House,
the council’s head office.
She said she was genuinely excited about the
task ahead despite the financial and political
challenges. “I will be working with all three party
leaders and councillors from all the parties,” she
said, anticipating claims that she was here only to
serve the minority ruling Greens.
“I’m a really enthusiastic public services leadermanager. And I think the opportunity to apply the
learning I’ve had is a really exciting one. I like the
idea of making a difference. I really enjoy
developing organisations, seeing people within
them discover their capability. One of the greatest
things in my professional life is the number of
people who keep in touch.”
With her emphasis on values and culture – on
how she works as well as what she achieves – the
task of steering the council in a fast-changing
world should provide plenty of challenges. With a
shake-up at the top already in train, the citizens
of Brighton and Hove should soon see whether
she can make a difference and whether the
council becomes more customer focused. If not,
it’s a fair bet that at least some of them certainly
will be in touch. ■

009_LS609_celebcity_Celebcity 21/12/2012 10:58 Page 2

CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks
2012 celebrity highlights & Sir Elton John joins the
audience in a local pub to watch new musical talent

What a year!
2

012 was a great year here at JBPR and we want to send all our best
wishes to everyone we’ve worked with this past year. Here’s a little run
down of our 2012 highlights...
January saw JBPR get involved in the launch of a long time Brighton gem in
the East end of London. Gresham Blake’s bespoke tailors opened a store on
Commercial Street in Shoreditch with a star-studded party that went with a
bang. Brighton resident Steve Coogan, the talented Mitch Winehouse and
party host Ray Winstone all popped by for a cocktail.
In March we joined forces with Peter Andre and SodaStream to raise
awareness of plastic bottle waste for Climate Week. Pete posed against a 26ft
sculpture made of plastic bottles on Brighton seafront to highlight the issue
and its devastating effects on UK coastlines. The whole stunt was caught on
camera for Peter Andre’s ITV2 show, with JBPR’s presence more than prevalent
throughout! It’s been a tumultuous year for Andre and our best wishes and
love go out to him and his family following the passing of his brother.
Norman Cook’s Big Beach Bootique 5 gig in June was undoubtedly a huge
highlight of JBPR’s 2012 Calender. Bringing together the finest names in
house, techno, bass and dance music, including The 2 Bears, Maya Jane
Coles, Luciano, Carl Cox, Union, Doorly, Jaguar Skills, DJ Fresh and Annie Mac.
Superstar English duo Nero tore up the stage as the penultimate act of the
killer weekend. Fatboy’s set blew the Amex away and Saturday was a fitting
finale to our weekend. Let’s hope we can look forward to BBB6 soon!
September saw us work with the fantastic Peace One Day organisation on
their concert for Peace 2012, headlined by the one-and-only Sir Elton John!
Between making sure Sir Elton was looked after and guiding Jude Law through
the press room we were able to meet the likes of Lily Cole, Eliza Doolittle and
Hove local and singer-songwriter James Morrison. We loved the concert, with
the JBPR girls left watching ‘Your Song’ from the side of the stage as the crowd
cheered on. The after party thrown by Peace One Day founder Jeremy Gilley

09

saw the likes of Jude Law and Sean Pertwee
come together to celebrate the amazing
success of the day.
Fishlove: The newly titled Moshimo
restaurant Brighton hit the headlines
throughout 2012 with their fabulous
Fishlove project. In collaboration with the
actress Greta Scacchi, Moshimo got the
rich and famous to strip off to raise
awareness against overfishing. Launched
in June 2009, the Fishlove Photographic
Project is a series of striking
photographs which feature naked
celebrities holding dead fish, which were
printed in The Sun, The Mirror, The
Telegraph and The Daily Mail this year.
The Fishlove images were taken by the
world-famous fashion photographer
Rankin and feature the likes of Jerry Hall,
Lizzy Jagger, Sir Ben Kingsley and Mark
Foster among many others, cradling
everything from fish to crustaceans. An
exhibition held at Pertwee Anderson and
Gold gallery saw the likes of Olympic
swimmer Mark Foster, actress Dakota Blue
Richards and model Jade Parfitt pose in
front of their fishlove counterparts whilst
enjoying Moshimo sushi and Asahi beer.
These are only a few of the amazing
events we were thrilled to work on in 2012
and by the looks of things 2013 is likely to
be even better! Please keep in touch with us
on the new year by following us @JBPR_
We look forward to hearing from you!

ELTON JOHN IN BRIGHTON
Fitzherberts pub hosted one of the biggest names in pop last month, and that
was just at the bar! Elton John surprised locals when he strolled in to watch a
small gig by up-and-coming Irish band the Strypes at the small New Road
venue. Flanked with his ever-present entourage Elton tried his best to blend in
at the 100-capacity gig which showcased the new band which has recently
been watched by music greats such as Paul Weller, Miles Kane and Jeff Beck.
With an average age of just 15 the Irish lads are certainly breaking boundaries
with their mix of 1960s R’n’B covers and self-penned tracks already pulling in
crowds as well as TV appearances. Elton’s interest may well have been
sparked through their connection to Mercury Records – through which John
released his remix album with Pnau, Good Morning To The Night, earlier this
year. They look set to make big waves in 2013, and we’ll certainly be following
them around as much as possible – if not for the music then at least for their
star-studded audiences!
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd,
01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com
Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

Follow me: latestcelebcity

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010_LS609_albion_editorial 19/12/2012 16:55 Page 2

10

SPORT

latest SEAGULLS

official sponsor of

www.seagulls.co.uk
Photos: Paul Hazlewood

Up the Albion!
Mark Brailsford on the FA Cup

T

here used to be a saying in the frozen north in ye olden days: “Are you
‘oop for t’cup?” Then they’d take out t’whippet for a pint of mild and a
t’Woodbine before taking t’pigeons for a walk. Please forgive the
hackneyed stereotype, there’s a purpose, I promise. As The Albion prepare
to face Newcastle United in the third round of the fizzy piss Cup (come on,
how can anyone seriously drink this particular sponsor’s beer?) the feeling
of anti-climax fizzes more than the FA's preferred beverage.
How did this happen? The oldest cup competition in the world, the one
game the world used to watch before the advent of the Moneyball...sorry
“Champions” League came along and ruined it all. For Albion fans, the cup
has a bittersweet memory, those who went to Wembley will never forget it
and to this day, the moment Gordon Smith had the goal at his mercy is
still being replayed in countless pointless dreams. It was so very special
to be in the final of the FA Cup. The Cup Final tradition of singing ‘Abide
With Me’ still has the power to reduce grown men (well, me) to tears even
now and yet, this dear old competition is shunted around the schedules,
stripped of its drama and replays and played out by second-string teams
who prefer to chase fourth in the league than win this grand old trophy.
Yes, it’s bit of a nostalgia trip, but the debasement of the FA Cup is
emblematic of the evolution of the game in this country a lot of it to the
detriment of fans. And yet, here it is again, the desecrated old lady of the
game, ready to tantalise with her old tricks and upsets. So, to the point?
It may be a hackneyed old cliché, the underdog having his day, the
prospect for a giant killing, but that’s the thing with with nostalgia, it's
not like it used to be.

news
New Year, new striker?
Photo: Tom Scrace

Following the rearranged Boxing Day fixture versus Millwall, it felt as if
Christmas had come early for Millwall as Guy Poyet sent out what could
charitably be called, an “experimental” formation. Gus had the wisdom and
good grace to accept responsibility as Albion were gifting the game to
them in the first half, nicely wrapped in blue and white ribbons.
Fortunately, at half time, Mr Poyet rediscovered his inner Grinch (you
don’t see them both in the same room, do you?) and performed a football
version of that other festive classic, The Great Escape. Once again the
misfiring strikers were to the fore, but at least The Albion rescued a point.
Samuel Beckett once wrote a play called Waiting For Godot, he must have
known what it felt like to wait for the transfer window to open.
Words: Mark Brailsford

Albion hero
collects award

Brighton Vs Newcastle
In the fourth round of the Cup last season the Albion were in the middle of
an autumn slump but were buoyed by victory over Premier League
opposition in the League Cup (Sunderland) and the fortuitous victory over
Newcastle. Alan Pardew, not exactly a favourite in these parts due to his
habit of denigrating The Albion in the past and his connections to Our
Friends in the North, must be very wary of Gus Poyet's team after that.
Even the most ardent Albion fan will admit that Newcastle were
unfortunate that night, made even more surprising by the fact that they
were in the middle of a fine run in the league at the time. This time around
the modern version of the good old “vote of confidence” from board has
reared is cursed head, this time in the form of a somewhat surprising tenyear contract. Considering Newcastle’s current poor firm and league
position, this is looking like another classic “Looney Toon” moment. If Mr
Poyet has somehow managed to land any of his transfer targets by then
(Chris Wood anyone?) we could be due for a cup upset. However, the smart
money is on the misfiring antics of the usual suspects up front continuing.
With a draw about as popular as John Terry at a Brixton gospel meeting, the
odds are not in favour of the Albion. But it is the cup and it might be fun to
see Pardew’s ever charming snarl at the post-match press conference.

In the picturesque surroundings
of Wakehurst Place in Ardingly,
Martin Schooley collected the
BBC Sussex Community Heroes
Sports Award last Thursday.
Awarded for his unstinting
efforts for Albion in the
Community’s Inclusion
department, Martin received
his deserved accolade alongside
community heroes nominated
in Bravery, 999, Good Neighbour,
Fundraiser/Volunteer, Local
Entrepreneur and Young
Person of Courage or
Achievement categories.
Martin has worked for
Brighton & Hove Albion’s
charitable arm for 12 years.
Dan Tester

011_LS609_kay_comps_Social Diary 21/12/2012 09:32 Page 3

ANDREW KAY

Andrew
Kay

Sponsored by
Bardsley’s
Fish & Chips

Good at colouring in

I

love my Aunty Betty, but she
does have a way with words
that, if I did not love her so
much, would wrankle. When I
graduated from Chelsea School
of Art she told my mother that I
had “done quite well really,
considering I was only good at
colouring in”.
Over the years I have done a
fair amount of “colouring in” in
many guises, books, theatre,
food... all manner of colouring
you might say, but I had until
recently forgotten the one thing
that got me into all this: drawing.
Then I bought an iPad. The
iPad opened up a whole new
world for me and re-introduced
me to drawing with an App called
Procreate. I started to draw in it
and to paint, slowly at first,
stumbling through the program,
but gradually gaining confidence
and finding my way about.
And I really enjoy it, I love
getting back to that first love and
especially as it is so clean and
portable, unlike my much
neglected box of watercolours
and tube of brushes that languish
at the back of a cupboard.
I started drawing from life and
then capturing scenes on camera
as I went about my day to later
use as inspiration. It was one

11

such scene that I turned into a painting of the
Theatre Royal Brighton where I am a regular
reviewer. The Theatre Royal Brighton is one of my
favourite buildings in Brighton and it holds so many
wonderful memories for me. Over the years I have
built a strong bond with the team there, they look
after all reviewers so well and we are made to feel
welcome (even if we occasionally declare that a
show is a resounding flop).
Pleased with my Theatre picture I decided to send
it to them. They liked it too and when I gifted them
the image and said they could do with it what they
wished, between us we hatched a plan.
Now prints of my impression of the Theatre Royal
Brighton are being sold by the Theatre to fund a
project to promote young writing talent in Sussex.

“New writing is vital to
the future of British theatre,
and it is something that I
am passionate about”
The Theatre is initially selling high quality
unframed prints as a limited edition and will then
reproduce further copies in postcard size.
Proceeds from sales will fund Theatre Royal
Brighton Young Playwrights scheme, which the
Theatre is running in partnership with New Writing
South. The scheme will help foster writing talent
among writers aged 16-24 and Latest.TV Brighton
will be joint sponsors of the scheme.
I captured this view of the exterior of Theatre
Royal Brighton before an evening performance. It
was a dismal wet autumn evening but the glow
from the theatre was filled with promise. I am now
delighted that my picture promises to fund an
education project for young playwrights. New
writing is vital to the future of British theatre, and
it is something that I am passionate about.
The prints, made on high quality German art paper
to archival quality are A3 in size and will be signed
and numbered by me. If you would like to buy a
limited edition print, priced at £45 each, then
contact bridiewilliams@theambassadors.com,
01273 764405, 9.30am–5.30pm Monday to Friday

Danish crime phenomenon The
Killing returns for a third and
final time and we have a copy of
the trilogy box set to give away.
More than just a TV programme,
The Killing has become a fullblown cultural success in the two
short years since its first episode
graced UK television screens.
Created by Søren Sveistrup, it wasn’t just the
gripping storylines that enthralled the nation but
the show’s Scandinavian style, its bleak Nordic
scenery, and the connections so easily forged with
its central characters, female detective Sarah Lund
in particular.
We have one copy of the DVD boxset to give
away. For the chance to win, tell us:
Q: If you are Danish, which country are you from?

TEMPLE SPA – STAR PERFORMERS
New Year, new you! What better way to start
2013 than by pampering yourself and detoxing
after an over-indulgent Christmas?
The Star Performers gift set from Temple Spa
contains seven star performing products to give

you a taster of the whole Temple Spa range and
pamper yourself in the process.
The set comes with seven mini anti-ageing
facial creams and gels for deep
cleansing, exfoliating, bust
firming, rejuvenation,
neck firming and
aromatherapy. We
have one gift set
(RRP £75) up for
grabs. To be in with
a chance of
winning, just tell us:

havoc with the rehearsal schedule, it becomes
apparent that having four of the finest singers
in English opera history under one roof offers
no guarantee that the show will go on.
To win a copy of Quartet, tell us:
Q: Who plays Wilf in Quartet?

Q: The Star Performers
gift set comes from which
brand?

QUARTET GARDENING PRIZES

Following the recent release of director Dustin
Hoffman’s Quartet, we have five Quartet goodie
bags up for grabs, comprising a fab set of gardening
tools all packed in a useful canvas bag.
Life long friends Wilf (Billy Connolly) Reggie (Tom
Courtenay) and Cissy (Pauline Collins) are
residents of Beecham House, a home for retired
opera singers. The annual concert to celebrate
Verdi's birthday is disrupted by the arrival of Jean,
an eternal diva and the former wife of one of the
residents. As old grudges threaten to undermine
past glories and theatrical temperaments play

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL
competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box
and your answer to the question in the body of the
email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at
the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your
name, address and telephone number. Closing date
for entries: Monday 14 January 2013.

012_LS609_W125 waveworld kettlebells__food 20/12/2012 12:54 Page 1

12

wave

WAVE WORLD
Health & beauty
news & reviews
YEAR OF THE SNAKE

In the Chinese Zodiac as the
dragon disappears, the snake rises
to inspire some astounding makeup looks in this new year. MAC
cosmetics have released an
entire collection revolving
around the satin creatures
to illuminate the skin, give
defining contrasts and show
off some vibrant colours.
These brand new
products come
embellished with a
beautiful snake-like
pattern for an
exclusive effect to
leave you feeling
sleek and

shimmering. Choose from a fantastic
range of lustrous lipsticks, pearly
eye shadows and other gorgeous
products so you can recreate this
intense and striking look.
Shell Pearl beauty powder, £22,
large eye shadows, £16, selection
of lipsticks, £15.50. Available from
Harrods, Selfridges and
www.maccosmetics.co.uk

RED CARPET WORTHY LOCKS
Everyone took a shining
to Anne Hathaway’s
gorgeous hairstyle at
the New York premiere
of Tom Hooper’s long
anticipated film Les
Miserables in
December. After
cutting her tresses off
for the role of poor
Fantine, Anne has had
to find ways to glam

up her super short cut. Get the look
at home by using celebrity
hairdresser Richard Ward’s new
Couture Hair range and add a high
shine finish to a deep side parting
swept across the forehead for an
incredibly sophisticated look.
Richard Ward Couture Hair Argan Oil
Mist, £24, Richard Ward Couture Hair
wooden radial styling brushes from
£15. Available from QVC and
www.qvcuk.com

BEAUTY DEFYING CANCER

With over 250,000 people in England
being diagnosed with cancer every
year, there are plenty of patients out
there who are recovering from
treatments such as chemotherapy
and radiation. The result of these can
sometimes affect the skin; making it
dry, itchy and sensitive, and making
nails more lacklustre and brittle. The
Defiant Beauty skincare range from
Jennifer Young is specially
formulated for and by cancer
patients to help heal and soothe
treatment damage to the skin. 100%
natural and organic with minimal

Invest in one of history’s oldest
and most natural beauty aids:
Royal Jelly. Loved for its high
vitamin/mineral content and being
rich in amino acids, Royal Jelly is
said to help boost immune
systems, improve collagen
production and increase cell
rejuvenation. BioBee’s premium
range uses fresh Royal Jelly, so
products such as their Fresh Royal
Jelly Elixir are superior to others
who only use the freeze-dried kind.
If it’s good enough for the
Egyptians, it’s good enough for us!
BioBees Premium Royal Jelly
Range, from £16.50. Available
from Harrods.
Words by Holly Cozens

Follow me: latestzara

Lose it!

Shift weight with Christian Vila’s
28-day weight loss programme

N

ow in it’s fourth year, the
New Year, New You Weight
Loss Programme makes
promises no other bootcamp or
trainer dares: if you’re not happy
with the results, you get all your
money back! Fed up with big gym
chains taking money from the
public without delivering results,
Christian Vila, owner and
operator of Brighton Kettlebells
is putting his money where his
mouth is, with the “New Year,
New You” fat loss programme.
Christian has put together a
28-day programme which
guarantees changes to your
body shape, increase energy
and improve health, by using the
latest training tools including
Kettlebells, sandbags, ropes and
fun group exercises, alongside an easy to follow detox diet.
Taxi driver, Richard from Hove says of the programme: “Thanks to
this bootcamp I was able to lose 8kg of fat and keep it off!”Clients will
be expected to attend a minimum of three training sessions per week at
two locations in Brighton and Hove, whilst following a prescribed healthy
eating plan. The New Year, New You programme, which commences on
Saturday 19 January 2013, is enrolling now
with limited spaces at £95.
To enroll visit www.kettlebellsbootcamp.co.uk
or call Rooth on 07813 973 813.

o you want to be the proud owner of a
Michelle Baker,
wonderful new body? For people who would
before
like to lose weight, get fit, and improve their
self-confidence whilst having fun, help is at hand
from Brighton to Newhaven. For members of local
Rosemary Conley Diet & Fitness Clubs instructor
Lesley Jeavons’ classes, this is already happening!
“What a busy, successful and eventful 2012
we’ve had!” says local instructor, Lesley. “My
members and I have seen so many amazing
achievements. “Many have already reached
their target weight, with one member Michelle
Baker, who has lost an inspirational 4st 1lbs
and has dropped an incredible three dress
sizes, going from a size 18 to a size 12.”
Michelle joined Lesley’s Zumba class in Saltdean as she was feeling
frumpy, overweight, unfit and un-sexy. The classes, which include a weigh
in, personal chat, motivational talk and exercise session, were exactly
what Michelle felt she needed to help her get fit – and at the same time
lose weight and tone up. To Michelle’s delight she enjoyed the classes
and starting losing weight straight away.
“Being overweight was making me feel unhappy. I didn’t like
being bigger than friends, having to go to the back of the rail to
buy clothes or looking in the mirror and never being happy with
what I saw. I joined the Rosemary Conley class because I
wanted a group that encouraged exercise too. I had tried
losing weight before, but always gave up too soon and
never kept the weight off. But I thought this is it –
I’m going to do it and stick at it. I now exercise
four to five times a week and am fitter and more
toned than I have ever been”.

Lesley, who runs 10 classes throughout the week in Brighton, Saltdean
and Newhaven says, “It’s amazing what you can achieve with help and
support in our classes. We encourage each other’s progress and we are
there for each other when support is needed.
“I’m so proud of Michelle and it’s been amazing to watch her change
shape before my eyes. I lost four stone myself so know what it’s like to be
overweight but also how amazing the feeling is to lose it.
“I have a job that I love and I am trying to help people to achieve their
goals and hopefully change their lives for the better too. The exercise
sessions are varied and fun and include aerobics, Zumba, Kardy-O-Fun
and toning to name a few. The exercises can be adapted to suit any ability,
so even people who have not exercised before
can join in and enjoy the classes.”
For details of how Lesley can help you to
lose weight and get fitter and healthier too,
call Lesley Jeavons on 01273 915097
or visit www.rosemaryconley.com

Michelle Baker,
after

014_LS609_W126_revitalise_Revitalise 20/12/2012 14:36 Page 2

14 wave

Renewed

Holly Cozens finds ways to get fit & breathe
life into your new year at Revitalise

R

evitalise therapy
centres in Brighton
Revitalise classes offers
and Hove have all you
need to get into shape in
•Power Plate classes
2013. Christmas is a time
£75 per month for unlimited use*.
for indulging in your
Introductory offer of first 3 classes for £15
favourite food and drink,
however this can leave
•Pilates classes
some of us feeling guilty
6 classes for the price of 5
afterwards. Find a way to
– free class for all new clients*
begin January free from
•Yoga classes
cheese and mince pie
NEW 10 class deal
lethargy and get involved
– £85 for any 10 yoga classes*
with some of Revitalise’s
great new year’s offers.
Available at Revitalise in Brighton and Hove.
Power Plate technology is
Quote Latest 7 when booking. *T&C apply
a fairly new concept but
effective if you are looking
to change your body shape
for the better after the
festive season. With
Colonics offer
unlimited use for £75 a
•£10 off for all clients. Pay £60 with free
month, you can start to see
nutritional and lifestyle advice.
the results you want.
Pilates is an ideal therapy
Available at Revitalise Brighton and Revitalise
to enable you to start 2013
Hove. Quote Latest 7 when booking.
stress-free and with lots of
energy. With a free class for
all new clients, get a sixweek course for the price of five, covering all levels from beginners and
advanced to pregnancy and mother and baby.
Go with the flow this January and embrace the power of yoga. Whether
you are looking to tone up, improve your health or create a more positive
way of thinking for the months ahead, Revitalise can help. With 10 classes
for £85, choose from a range of ancient Yoga techniques, focusing on their
own individual benefits to suit you.
If you feel you may have over-indulged on the delights of Christmas,
colonic hydrotherapy is an effective way to help you detox and feel fresh
at the start of the new year. Revitalise will give you £10 off your
treatment and give you some valuable nutritional and lifestyle advice so
you can feel refreshed for longer.
Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, hove@revitalise-u.com,
and 123A Western Road, Brighton, 01273 710855, brighton@revitalise-u.com,
Visit the website www.revitalise-u.com for special offers.
Like us on Facebook for a
chance to win a free massage

Follow us on Twitter for a chance
to win a free Power Plate course

Leave a review of Revitalise on Tripadvisor to receive all the latest special offers

015_LS609_W126_CNM_CNM 20/12/2012 11:56 Page 3

Dear Jacquie
Your queries about natural health answered
by Jacquie Lane for The College of
Naturopathic Medicine
Dear Jacquie
I think I have IBS. I get
embarrassing problems
like bloating, wind, and
alternating diarrhoea and
constipation. What causes
it and what can I do?
R. O, Brighton
The causes of IBS are
many and varied. One in
five people in the UK are
reported as suffering from
IBS. Frequently it’s a term
given to unexplained
digestive conditions. It
can be caused or even
aggravated by some
foods. Stress can also be
a major factor.
Keeping a food diary for two
weeks recording everything that is
eaten and drunk and at what times
can be useful for analysing
repeated triggers. Also record
activities that day, including any
exercise or stressful events.
Having a test for food intolerances
can be useful, as can analysing the
stools for good and bad bacteria.

Both of these can be organised
through Nutritional Therapists.
Frequently, I see a lack of the
good gut floras Lactobacillus and
Bifidobacterium in the tests I use
for clients, plus an imbalanced
stool acid/alkaline level can play a
role in causing symptoms similar to
yours. Taking supplements of these
2 probiotics can be very useful at
balancing good gut flora which also

wave 15
help to push out unwanted
bacterial strains.
Keeping soluble fibre levels
correct by consuming enough
vegetables helps, as does drinking
spasm calming teas like
peppermint or fennel. Psyllium
husk is very useful at bulking out
the stool and helping balance out
both diarrhoea and constipation. It
must be taken with enough
fluid to enable its action.
It’s best not to guess
what therapy is best for
you. If your GP has ruled
out any other condition
such as Crohns Disease or
colitis, I would recommend
getting expert advice from
a Nutritional Therapist who
can help you target therapy
specifically to your
individual condition, by
finding the cause and not
just dealing with the
symptoms.
Lifestyle advice is
crucial for dealing with
stressful lifestyles. Ensure
you’re getting enough
fresh air and relaxation by taking
regular walks, especially at lunch
time during working days.

CNM open evening

If you would like to train to become
a Nutritional Therapist, please book
to attend CNM’s next open evening
in Brighton. 01342 410505,
www.naturopathy-uk.com

Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the
College of Naturopathic Medicine
(CNM) in Brighton. Jacquie also
runs her own nutrition clinic in
Brighton and manages a
biological testing lab specialising
in digestive issues.
Email Jacquie Lane:
sunshinenutrition@hotmail.co.uk

016_LS609_W126_quitsmoking_Revitalise 21/12/2012 10:18 Page 2

16 wave

Make 2013 your year:

Out with the old

• Introduce a new hobby or interest
• Picture yourself where you want to be in
three, six or 12 months’ time

• Be kind to your self if things don’t work

out the way that you would like right away

Evie Purves looks at making New Year’s
resolutions & sticking to them

• Be open to doing things in a new way and

I

•
•

t’s time to say goodbye to 2012
and hello to the new year. For
some of us, 2013 will involve
finally giving up smoking. Yes,
cigarettes will most likely be the
first thing to quit on many people’s
list of New Year’s resolutions.
But like many resolutions, the
chances of sticking to it as January
progresses can wear thin. The
stresses of everyday life begin to
take their toll and unfortunately we
can return to old habits and within
no time the cigarettes are back.
The thing with giving up smoking
is that it’s all in the mind. It
requires an immense amount of
will power, which for some people
can become too much. Research
shows that 70 per cent of
smokers want to give up, but only
5 per cent actually manage to
quit successfully.
But it doesn’t have to be as hard.
All people really need is support.
During October 2012, the NHS
launched its mass-quit campaign,

Stoptober, which stated that giving
up for 28 days made you five times
more likely to quit for good. The
campaign turned out to be a huge
success and the support of others
proved to be a vital part of why
people didn’t give in.
Choosing to quit in 2013 does
not have to be any different to
Stobtober. By setting the goal and
having support along the way
means you are more likely to
succeed. And this is true of
any resolution.
Some people who have been
successful quitting smoking have
said they replaced the cigarette
with something else such as a
glass of water. This has proved to
work as it take the person’s mind
off of having a cigarette and also
creates a different association with
the feeling of wanting a cigarette.
Hypnotherapy and NLP techniques
can also be a great way to
overcome obstacles and quit
the habit

be kind to yourself if things don’t work out
in the way that you intend
Use each day as rehearsal for the next
Finally be kind to yourself if things don’t
work out well.

Jonathan Conway, Hypnotherapist and NLP
Coach. For more advice call 01273 540425
or 07956 855 027
www.theconwaypractice.co.uk
(www.theconwaypractice.co.uk).
The most successful quitters
have been those on some form of
smoking medication, whether it be
patches, chewing gum or a
prescribed drug. Those people who
went ‘cold turkey’ proved to have a
lower success rate and increased
levels of stress, and returned to
smoking far quicker.
Smoking is of course a huge
health risk, and it is currently the
highest single cause of illness and
premature death in the UK. So why
is it that people smoke in the first
place? There will never be a
definitive answer to that question,

but stats show that the
percentage of the population that
smoke has dropped by over 13
per cent in the last 15 years. The
warnings are proving to be
slowly working.
January will undoubtedly
consist of New Year’s resolutions
that many will not stick to. But
instead of deciding to do
something unrealistic, try making
small tweaks to something in
your everyday life, as this is
much more likely to result in
success. Good luck!
For more advice see
www.theconwaypractice.co.uk

y annual trip to Holland took
place a little later this year but
was a bigger gastronomic event
than ever with eight days of fabulous food
and drink starting in Maastricht and then
moving on to Amsterdam. The Maastricht
part of the trip was related to International
Chef Exchange and you will be able to see
that when the hour long TV programme is
aired when Latest.TV Brighton goes live
next year. How exciting is that?
Amsterdam was very much a trip of
two parts: food and culture. I stayed at
the NH Museum Quarter for the first part,
perfectly located for the museums and for
the concert hall where I heard a fabulous
recital by British pianist Paul Lewis.
I changed hotels later in the week and
stayed at Hotel Albus, a chic new hotel
minutes from the flower market and
perfectly placed for most things. That
night I had dinner in their restaurant
Senses. It’s a small room but the food
ideas are big and they pull them off.
Passionate about the slow food
movement you can sense that much of
what the chef is about is great produce
treated with respect. I started with a
pumpkin soup that was served from a
teapot and poured over a prawn wrapped
in finely shredded potato then fried. It
was heart-warmingly good, rich and
delicious. I followed it with a steak
tartare. I love steak prepared in this way
if it is good, and I was delighted that the

17

steak and all of the seasoning
were brought to the table for me to
indicate how I would like it. It was
stunningly presented, tasted
great and came with superb frites,
mayonnaise and a Caesar salad
worthy of the name. I would have
had more but I was pressed for
both time and tummy space. But
I made up for it the next day at
their excellent breakfast buffet.
Amsterdam is famous for its
Indonesian food and right now the hottest
name is Blue Pepper. Blue Pepper takes the flavours and concepts of
Indonesia but gives them a European twist. I started with a sweet dumpling
with chilli sauce which was quickly followed by three plump scallops with a
satay style dressing made of Macadamia nuts, heavenly, and a salad of
seaweed. There was also a fine powder that I could not identify but would
happily eat my own body weight of. Next
came a spicy broth, the only truly fiery
dish of the menu, with a piece of poached
perch lurking in its depths, stunning
stuff. Then venison satay with
pomegranate and apple salad, deep
flavours balanced by crisp fresh ones.
This was followed by three perfect lamb
cutlets cooked with lily flowers and
served with courgettes and ribbons of
crispy fried sweet potato. Now lily
flowers were a first for me and I can’t
wait to have them again, a strange bitter
floral flavour that was rather moreish. Dessert was a
plate of mango ribbons served with a cointreau dipping sauce and three
sorbets, a stunning lime, a delicious rose and a quite extraordinary beer
sorbet. I loved Blue Pepper to bits, delicious food and charming service
Blue Pepper, Nassaukade 366, Amsterdam, +31 (0) 20 489 7039
Senses at Hotel Albus, Vijzelstraat 49, +31 (0)20 530 62 00
With thanks to Visit Holland www.holland.com and Rail Europe
www.raileurope.co.uk

Follow me: latestandrew

Light bites
Strange Fruit
No not me, don’t be rude. This is
Baobab Fruit Powder form Minvita
and was one of the culinary
offerings to arrive on my desk in
December. Billed as the superfood
of 2013 I was intrigued, especially
as the claims made for it are
pretty impressive. Supporting the
immune system and a healthy
digestion, whilst also maintaining
strong bones, a healthy heart and
lowering cholesterol; the remedial
properties of the Baobab fruit are
the stuff of African legend – well,
it has to be tried!
This superfruit from the African
Baobab tree contains six times
more vitamin C than oranges,
twice as many antioxidants
than gojiberries, six times more
potassium than bananas and
more iron than spinach and red
meat, no mean feat for
a sprinkling of fruit
powder! It is pale in
colour and can be
easily added to any
meal to boost its
nutritional profile,
maximising the pick-meup potential of anything

from a mid-day snack, to home
baking. It can also be added to
smoothies, yoghurts and cereals,
or stirred into a glass of juice or
water. Better still, why not add it
to the mix when you are making
cakes, flapjacks or bread! And
now for the science...
Baobab Key Facts
1 Oxygen radical absorbance
capacity (ORAC) of Baobab is
250 per gram compared with
blueberries at just 46 per gram
2 There is 300mg of vitamin C in
Baobab per 100g whilst an
orange contains 50mg approx
3 Cow’s milk provides 120mg
of calcium per 100g compared
to 350mg in Baobab
4 There is around 422mg of
potassium in one medium
banana and a whopping
2500mg in Baobab per 100g
5 Baobab is packed with fibre
containing 60g of soluble and
insoluble fibre per 100g
6 100g of lean red meat
contains 1.8mg of iron
which is less than
that found in Baobab
But does it count as
one of my five a day?
Available from Holland
& Barrett and via
www.minvita.co.uk

How do you take your 5 a day? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

018_LS609_hotlist_Hotlist 19/12/2012 16:54 Page 2

18

HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist
Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For
more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk
British & Modern European

French

The Hove Bank

Cocoa Patisserie

The Hove Bank Steak & Ribs is the new sister
restaurant of The Old Bank, offering great service
in a grand café restaurant setting with pavement
seating on the south east corner of beautiful
Palmeira Square. Serving delicious locally
sourced steaks, ribs, burgers and salads, homemade vanilla ice cream, a delicious wine list both
at lunchtime and in the evenings, and all at
great value for money – especially their specials
menu with three courses for £10.95 at
lunchtimes and midweek before 7pm. Opening
hours: Mon–Thurs 12pm–2pm and
5pm–9.30pm, Fri–Sat 12pm–10pm and Sun
12pm–9.30pm.
The Hove Bank, 64 Western Road, Palmeira
Square, Hove, BN3 2JQ, 01273 721182,
www.thehovebank.com

The Foragers

With their constantly changing seasonal menu,
now’s the time to catch a few wild favourites at
this multi award winning pub, such as duck,
venison or wild rabbit. And for those of you
thinking about the festive times the Foragers
offers both value for money and exceptional
quality, for groups of six or more they offer a
£22 per head lunch or £25 per head dinner.
Book now to avoid disappointment.
The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU
01273 733134, www.theforagerspub.co.uk

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm,
The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs.
No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some
well executed classics. Most importantly
though is their open attitude; everyone gets
the same charming welcome – guests and
diners, locals and visitors alike – and when
you have been once, you will want to return
again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food
writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at
£13.95 for two courses, £15.95 for three,
Sunday to Thursday; £17.95 for two courses,
£19.95 for three on Friday and Saturday. À la
carte menu available. Open 6pm.
New Steine Bistro, 10/11 New Steine, Brighton,
BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415,
www.newsteinehotel.com

Indian

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse
restaurant serves delicious food with great
service in a warm and comfortable setting.
Locally owned and aiming to be the Cheers
of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers
quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day,
grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at
great value prices. A great wine list
complements wholesome and satisfying
food. The kids’ menu is also great value.
Open Mon–Fri, 5pm–9.30pm; Sat–Sun,
12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz
6–8pm. Open all day bank holidays and now
the garden is open.
The Old Bank, 120 St George’s Road, Kemp
Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,
www.oldbankkemptownbrighton.com

Chinese
Gars Restaurant

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near
Brighton station. Everything is home-made on
the premises each morning with the finest
ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes,
tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches,
quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take
away. Beautiful cakes made to order.
Cocoa, 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB,
01273 777412, www.cocoabrighton.co.uk

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting
menu with some great new ideas and a wholly
different experience in terms of style and
presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors
and a chic atmosphere make this one of the
city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs
at the bar. Eat from £10.
Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton,
01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes,
distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals
are made fresh to order and every curry has
its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a
wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as
gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available
11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.
Chaula’s Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street,
Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,
www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian
restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb
regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting.
Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the
idea of Indian food with authentic recipes
served in bright and stylish surroundings. The
cooking is executed with a light touch too, no
heavy ghee-based sauces here but an
altogether healthier approach – but not at the
cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable.
Buffet available for £7.99; Meal Deal for £9.99.
Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton,
BN1 1HT, 01273 771661,
www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using
seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can

Gourmet Pizza Kitchen

feast upon a selection of award-winning King
Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Roomali Roti wraps
and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for
vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too. The Chilli
Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib,
two AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK Restaurant in
The National Restaurant Awards and runners-up
in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards. Lunch is
served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm.
Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential.
The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton,
BN1 1GE, 01273 900383,
www.thechillipickle.com

Italian
Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run
business serving excellent Italian food in
stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals
on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three
for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of
celebs in season from soap stars to politicos.
Fun, friendly and fabulous value.
Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ,
01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but
you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family
dining in the Italian mould but a little less
expensive. Popular with students and young
families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with
the signature set-price boards proclaiming any
two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.
Fat Leo, 16–17 Market Street, Brighton, BN1 1HH,
01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Gourmet Pizza Kitchen

The Foragers

Eat in, takeaway or delivery – Gourmet Pizza
Kitchen offers the authentic taste of traditional
stone-baked pizza with a gourmet twist.
A great selection of unique and innovative
gourmet topping combinations for all
pizza lovers looking for that extra taste
experience. Fresh dough is made daily
on the premises and cooked in a wood
stove oven using the highest quality

This year, celebrate Christmas in a unique
Mediterranean atmosphere. Two courses for
£19.95, three courses for £24.95. Book now!
Mediterraneo Deli is a family business,
dedicated to serving you truly genuine, great
tasting, authentic Sicilian food. They enjoy
catering for all events, from lunch meetings to
dinner parties and weddings. Open
9.30am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10.30am–3pm Sat.
Evenings: bookings only.
Mediterraneo Deli, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton,
BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,
www.mediterraneodeli.co.uk

Thai
The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up
Brighton and Hove. This modern Thai
restaurant is committed to giving you the
complete Thai experience, with the most
authentic food possible. Lunch starts at
£4.95, and they’re open every day, so come
down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!).
The Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove,
BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,
www.thegreenmangohove.com

Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and
delicious using the finest and freshest
ingredients. Thai people love their street food
and Street Thai is the most authentic way of
eating and experiencing Thai food.
Set menu is available every day except
Saturday with two-courses at £8.95 and threecourses at £10.95.
Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton
Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

019_LS609_reviewsbookings_Reviews 21/12/2012 13:07 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 19

L7 Under review

On sale this week…

BIG BANG!

EDWYN COLLINS & SPECIAL
GUESTS

STOMP – THE LOST AND FOUND ORCHESTRA
Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 20 December 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪

F

rom the (busking) streets
of Brighton to the Olympic
Stadium, it’s been an
incredible journey for Stomp
founders Luke Cresswell and
Steve McNicholas; small fortunes
have been made with an idea
that apparently came about as a
result of seeing the Drummers of
Burundi carrying their drums on
their heads... the formula hasn’t
changed much: bang, brush,
whirl, squeeze, push and pull all
manner of ‘instruments’ that are
often recycled from household
items. But it’s a successful formula; light-hearted, good natured, and a
chance to see pitch-perfect performance/street art performed in the
wonderful atmospherics of Brighton Dome.
The Lost & Found Orchestra is basically a piece of musical theatre, with a
number of ‘songs’ acted out by a large ensemble of mainly Brighton-based
characters, most if not all great musicians in their own right. The players,
with Cresswell often at the centre of the action as de facto conductor,
moved very fluidly around a multi-layered set. Without words (at least until
a choir appeared for the last 10 minutes), and with no discernible plot, it
was a joyful, often comedic, sometimes riotous, and always engaging piece
that works because of the strength of the compositions, the movement of
all the performers, the intricate and eye-catching staging and the overall
pace of the show which flowed like a symphony does; from pastoral and
ambient moments, to passages of thunder and great energy. Musically
touching on multi-faceted rhythms of the world but also, for this reviewer,
the hobo carnivalesque sounds of Tom Waits circa Swordfishtrombone/Rain
Dogs, it works very well as just music. But as part of a greater whole,
it’s magical.
Jeff Hemmings

MARTHA REEVES & THE
VANDELLAS

Time catches up with all of us
eventually, and at the age of 71 it was
inevitable that Martha Reeves wasn’t
going to be quite as impressive as in
her ‘60s heyday. But while the
Motown legend’s voice may now lack
some of the punch of her prime, her
energy and stagecraft were as
captivating as ever. Mixing all her
classic hits with a selection B-sides,
lesser-known tracks and Christmas
songs, Reeves and her impressive
backing band produced an engaging
and entertaining performance, full of
warmth, fun and good oldfashioned soul.
Concorde 2, 18 Dec 2012
✪✪✪✪✪
Adam Lindsay

JEFF WAYNE’S WAR OF THE
WORLDS

A true phenomenon ever since the
original album was released back in
1978, H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds
resonates very deeply with us; the
central plot involving the invasion of
Earth by Martians, the nearcleansing of the planet’s
Did you disagree with our
verdict on any of these shows?

L7 Bookings

inhabitants, and the unexpected
light at the end of tunnel (whereby
the Martians literally catch a cold)
is akin to an actual nightmare but
with a happy ending. But while the
original novel, Orson Welles’s
legendary ‘30s radio broadcast and
Spielberg’s recent film version are
all highly taut, scary affairs, Jeff
Wayne’s musical theatre version
cannot help but be a little more
easy on the senses. With a new allstar cast that includes credible
performances by Ricky Wilson
(Kaiser Chiefs), Marti Pellow and,
best of all, Jason Donovan, plus an
orchestra and a band (featuring
Chris Spedding and Herbie Flowers
amongst others), the story is
overseen by virtual actor Liam
Neeson, who has admirably taken
on the role originally voiced by
Richard Burton, succeeding in
imparting the right gravitas and
tone throughout. The music, despite
a few modern tweaks, remains
largely as it always was; a creature
of ‘70s progressive rock, but still
packing a punch.
Brighton Centre, 17 December 2012
✪✪✪✪✪
Jeff Hemmings

comment@thelatest.co.uk

St George’s Church,
25 April 2013, £20/18,
01273 709709,
www.seetickets.com
Edwyn Collins, has been responsible
for some of the most distinctive and
celebrated albums of the last 30
years. dwyn will release his eighth
solo album, Understated, through
AED in early 2013.

KING CREOSOTE &
SPECIAL GUESTS

The Basement, 29 April 2013,
£14/12, 01273 709709,
www.seetickets.com
Kenny Anderson, more commonly
known by his stage name King
Creosote, has over 40 releases under
his belt and 2012 has shown no
signs of slowing down for him. The
end of 2012 marked the release of It
Turned Out For The Best, his third
and final EP release of 2012 to come
from the infamous Domino records.

ALFIE BROWN & DANIEL
SIMONSEN

To listen to the chart and
submit your track, go to
www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

8

Latest Brighton
Download Chart

TOP 40

Listeners, you hold the power of
the Latest Brighton Chart and
need to get involved more! You
decide who should be at the top
of the chart. To see who is in
our top 20 this week, take a
peek online. Musicians, we’re
putting together a Latest Music
Video Chart and an MTV-style
show for Brighton. We want
your audio singles and we want
your vids! Send videos to
info@latestchart.co.uk and
submit audio tracks online.

The Old Market, 17 January 2013,
£6, 01273 201801
www.theoldmarket.com
Daniel Simonsen – winner of the
Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Award for
Best Newcomer 2012 – presents a
work in progress. This sneak peek is
paired with observational comic Alfie
Brown’s show ‘Soul For Sale’.

The Old Market, 8 February 2013,
£9/6, 01273 201 801
www.theoldmarket.com
Robin Ince’s Book Club won numerous
awards when it began from Time Out
Outstanding Achievement, Chortle
award for innovation and nomination
for best live show. For one night only
he brings back a very special part of
the book club – the strangest
passages of sex from numerous
books rescued from skips and
charity shops. Part of Brighton
Science Festival.

UK DECAY + THE CRAVATS

Concorde 2, 1 February 2013, £10,
01273 673311
www.concorde2.co.uk
UK Decay return to the South Coast
for the first time in 30-years with a
new single and album: New Hope For
The Dead. Brighton music fans get
first dabs on a sneak preview of the
new album before the official launch
in London in February.

JESSIE J RESCHEDULED

Brighton Centre, 6 November 2013,
£32.50/25, 0844 847 1515
www.brightoncentre.co.uk
Due to extended recording
commitments Jessie J’s sold-out
March 2013 arena tour has now been
rescheduled for the 15th October –
11th November 2013. All tickets will
remain valid.

STAGE: THE HAWTH 2013
Something for everyone, young or not
so young, at Crawley’s Hawth Theatre

F

ollowing the success of Great
Gran’s Great Games and
Laura’s Star at The Hawth,
Pied Piper theatre returns with a
new play My BIG Little Sister for
little ones to enjoy in the new year.
Tom says he can't understand
his little sister Ruby. She

always wants to be someone else:
a pop star, a model, a princess...
Ruby says she just wants to be a
grown-up, with no one telling her
what to do, how to dress and where
to go... Mum says you should be
careful what you wish for!
A delightful play taking a
light-hearted look at the pressure
of consumerism on young minds
and learning what happiness
really means.
Pied Piper has touched the
hearts and imaginations of
hundreds of thousands of children.
Thursday 24–Saturday 26 January,
The Hawth Studio Crawley,
Thu & Fri 10.30am & 1.30pm,
Sat 11am & 2pm
Tickets: £7 (family of four: £25).
Schools: £6 are available from
The Hawth box office on 01293
553636 or you can book online at
www.hawth.co.uk.
BEYOND THE BARRICADE
Beyond The Barricade has
delighted audiences throughout
the UK and Europe for more than a
decade, with its exciting concert
performance of the greatest songs
in musical theatre!
Now the UK’s leading musical
theatre concert returns with a
brand new show. Recreating the
original West End/Broadway
musical hit songs with
amazing authenticity, the
cast of past principal performers
from Les Miserablés perform songs
from Miss Saigon, The Lion King,
Phantom Of The Opera, We Will
Rock You, Blood Brothers, and

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Beyond The Barricade

many more, climaxing with a
spectacular finale from, of course,
Les Miserablés!
Beyond The Barricade has a
reputation for its slick, nononsense style – giving musical
theatre songs a bold concert format
treatment – but with the conviction
and intention to deliver the material
as if the audience were watching
the original performance.
The show delights audiences at

The Hawth every time it comes to
Crawley – don’t miss your chance
to see it for yourself!
Thursday 31 January 7.30pm,
The Hawth Crawley
Tickets: £19/£16.50The Hawth box
office on 01293 553636
www.hawth.co.uk

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020_023_LS609_previews_editorial 20/12/2012 09:36 Page 3
Foreste

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&CLUBS 21
CLUBS: XXY
Modifying your generic Saturday
night, it’s in Life’s DNA to produce a
good night bringing boys and girls
together to tear up the weekend in
style. Playing hip-hop, classic R’n’B,
grime and bass.
Life, Sat 5 Jan, 11pm–6am, £3
NUS before 12am.
CLUBS:
SHAKE, HOLLA AND ROLL
Be propelled to the floor to shake,
holla and roll to vintage tunes from
The Blues Corporation

a box of dusty old 45s. Playing a
mixture of rock ’n’ roll roots, mambo
and swing jazz. Don't miss the The
Chop House Salon upstairs, with all of
styles of vintage haircuts available.
The Mesmerist, Fri 4 Jan,
9pm–2am, free
MUSIC:
THE BLUES CORPORATION
The legendary Brighton 10-piece
return to The Brunswick for another
foot-stomping New Year’s Day.
Family friendly, the event kicks off
at 4pm.
Brunswick, Tue 1 Jan, free
(donations to charity)
MUSIC: TWO JACKALS
Exciting new Brighton band that
draws upon the music of The Cure
and Foals. Support from For Maria,
The Chances, The Harbour. A show
for ages 14+.
The Haunt, Sat 5 Jan, 7pm, £4
MUSIC: DIGITUNE
An intimate monthly showcase
of up and coming acoustic, singersongwriter talent from Brighton
and beyond.
Latest MusicBar, Mon 7 Jan, 8pm,
£4/3

Two Jackals

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

MUSIC: SEA MONSTERS 3
The annual music festival returns to the Prince Albert

S

ea Monsters is the annual compilation and music festival, organised
by One Inch Badge (OIB), a local promotions company who also have
artists under management, a booking agency and a label. Ostensibly
existing to ‘celebrate and promote our favourite local acts'’ they have also
sourced plenty of up and coming talent. The result a seven-day orgy of
some of the best local talent, all at the Prince Albert.
This year OIB have partnered each night with local music institutions
such as Teen Creeps, Love Thy Neighbour, Source Magazine, Bizarro World,
and Slip Jam B. And like the previous two incarnations of Sea Monsters,
there’ll be an accompanying compilation CD featuring all the acts
performing this year, which will be released in April.
As alway, there is a wide array of acts, further confirming Brighton as a
ridiculously fertile ground for new music; from the theatrical splendour of
Written In Waters, to the percussive indie soul of one woman cellist Abi
Wade; from the country-rock tinged Holy Vessels to the incredible
progressive math rockers The Physics House Band; and from the glacial
textures of Phoria to the psychobilly grunge inspired The Witches, Sea
Monsters presents an opportunity to see some truly inventive and original
music, all emanating from Brighton.
Discounted week passes are available, the purchase of which includes a
free copy of Seas Monsters 3, and tickets obtained form Resident Records
means you'll get a free copy of previous compilations, Sea Monsters 1 or 2.
For full details of the programme visit www.oneinchbadge.com
Sea Monsters 3, Prince Albert, Monday 21–Sunday 27 January 2013

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020_023_LS609_previews_editorial 20/12/2012 13:16 Page 4

22

WHAT’S ON COMEDY&FILM

COMEDY:
JIMMY CARR – GAGGING ORDER
The big comic with the big face plays the big room at
the Brighton Dome to see in the New Year

J

ames Anthony Patrick Carr is a comedy force to be reckoned with. He
tours non-stop all year, taking off only five weeks before he’s off on
the road again. Add to this his hosting duties on Channel 4’s 8 Out Of
10 Cats, the odd guest spot on somebody else’s panel show on radio and TV,
plus the occasional acting role, and writing a couple of books, it’s a surprise
he has the time to write a brand new show every year – but he does. And
garners plenty of rave reviews for them each
time they’re released to the public and the
critics.
As much as it’s easy to begrudge the
class swot, Jimmy Carr is the comedic
workaholic who wins you round. Comedy
is a cut-throat industry and as much as
everybody loves a nice guy you have to
make people laugh – continuously – to
stick around in this industry. And (I
have been reliably informed) he’s also
a nice guy. With a penchant for
saying funny, rude things.
Jimmy Carr’s playful nature with the
line of good taste has won him legions
of fans, skipping back and forth over it.
He’s gone on record as saying his
favourite sound is a belly laugh followed
by the gasp of realisation you get with a
very funny joke that the laughee
suddenly realises they possibly
shouldn’t be laughing at. However,
his delivery and degree of likability
stops him from receiving too
many of those letters and
outraged editorials some other
boundary-probing comics are
currently prone to receiving.
Suffice to say, if
you’re looking to
battle those New
Year blues a trip
to see Dr Jimmy
could be just the
ticket to snap you
out of the doldrums.
Original and sharp as
ever, Mr Carr is a treat
to brighten up the chills.
Concert Hall, Brighton
Dome, Saturday 26 January,
8pm, £25.

COMEDY: KRATER
COMEDY CLUB
Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three
top stand-ups and one of the best
MCs on the comedy circuit entertain
you. All weekend you can see Steve
Harris and The Raymond & Mr
Timpkins Revue, with Mike Gunn
completing the line-up on Friday
and James Dowdeswell taking the
third spot on Saturday night.
Proceedings are hosted by the
lovely Sully O’Sullivan.
Komedia, Fri 4 Jan (8pm) and Sat 5
Jan (7pm), £16.50/13.50 & £22
FILM:
THE IMPOSSIBLE (12A)
Dir: Juan Antonio Bayona
From the emerging Spanish
director Juan Antonio Bayona
comes this story, based on true
events, starring Ewan McGregor
and Naomi Watts as holidaying
parents whose family is caught up
in the terrifying events of 2004’s
Southeast Asia tsunami. Separated

and desperate, this powerful story
documents thier experience of
tragedy, loss and the strength of
human spirit that prevailed in the
face of such a disaster.
Released now
Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
The Raymond &
Mr Timpkins Revue

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TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

mon 7 jan
digitune presents…
a music based
event connecting
acoustic music with
a passionate audience.

8pm £4/3

here at latest musicbar
we pride ourselves on
hosting the best parties
in town.
whether you want a big
bash or something more
intimate we will work to
your budget & cater to
all your requirements to

make your event a real
night to remember.
you can hire one or both
floors of the venue for
parties of up to 200
people, provide your
own catering or let our
fabulous chefs take
the strain.

FILM:
PLAYING FOR KEEPS (12A)
Dir: Gabriele Muccino
Stressy Crimbo and New Year’s?
Fancy a light romcom that won’t need
much brain power from your end?
Tuck in! Gerard Butler plays a former
football (please excuse the Americans
from calling it ‘soccer’) star whose
career has taken a dive, leaving him
coaching his son’s team. All well and
good, but football isn’t the only game
in play if his teammates’ mums have
anything to do with it. Oooh fancy!
Released now
Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

EVENTS: YOGA WITH
MICHELLE COBBIN
A friendly, gentle class with
a mindful approach to yoga.
By slowing down and paying
attention, we learn to sense when
we are striving, pushing or holding
so that we can being to release
and feel relaxed and grounded.
Includes some meditation.
Suitable for beginners and
intermediate students.
Unit 4, Roundhill Street, Mon 7 Jan,
6–7pm, £6 drop-in
EVENTS:
REVITALISE PILATES
A new 6-week course starts now
with lots of classes to choose from:
beginners, improver, intermediate,
advanced, back care, pregnancy
and mother and baby. Free class for
all new clients.
Revitalise, Mon 7 January, £48 for 6
weeks, for class timetable see
www.revitalise-u.com
ART: BRIGHTON BOLD
Bringing together five local artists
(including some from Brighton
University) ranging from photography
to prints to paintings, the work varies

from serene visual simplicity,
to plains of frenzied patterns.
Brighton Bold, Painted Pottery
Gallery, 31 North Road, 01273
628952. Until 6 January
ART: COLIN MERRIN
Contemporary British landscape
painter who has made the South
Downs the prime subject of his work
for the last three years.
Colin Merrin, Pelham House,
St. Andrew's Lane, Lewes,
01273 488600. Until 8 January

You’re going to thrive on a new sense of popularity as many
more people are open to spending time in your company as are
you in theirs. It’s all about ‘the mind’ and it’s therefore your
brain you must employ in the pursuit of dreams. Follow what
seems logical no matter how eccentric.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

News from abroad travels fast and in light of new realisations,
your understanding of the world deepens. The possibility for
transformation is now not something which you dread, but
relish. There are finances available to support you.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Grave letters or words may be spoken, but don’t shoot the
messenger! Just as everything that twinkles isn’t always gold,
so too can dusty old antiques be well worth their weight. Take
the time to probe into important matters with patience.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

A partner has something important they need to communicate
with you, or perhaps you have been holding back for too long.
To speak your truth may cause disruptions, but you have to be
willing to face the music, in order to not betray your own soul.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

Are partners serious? Is there really any need for them to be
right? If you have these thoughts, then you must ask if it is
not your mind which has become poisoned by the standing
waters. Being too inflexible is more than unagreeable, it’s
boring, is it not? Go on, turn that frown on its head.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

Playing love games may well keep you occupied, amused
and in control, but there are more productive uses of your
prowess and creative flair. Remember words are like magic
and being integral with your word will not compromise you or
the trust others place in you.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

You’ve got a springy Joie de Vivre air about you as this week’s
go-getting Mars helps you express the desires you are most
passionate about. Don’t be on too much of a quest for perfection,
as that’s a concept everyone could do without.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

The short term picture might look a little like this: a gloomy
frost-bitten dried up old shrubbery left for decay on the side of a
dreary road. While it’s not the most glamorous act in the play, this
current process is so essential. Think long term and daily nuances
could turn magically fertile.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

You’ve taken on board some serious issues of late, it will be
possible to earn more than a mere crust by becoming a
messenger for some of life’s more challenging subjects. Depth
psychology or occult sciences may appeal.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

If there’s something you want to get off your chest, why wait?
Both quick-thinking Mercury and the expressive and fun-loving
Sun are passing through your sign to help you firm up your
personal sense of identity.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

What you have, others wish they had. Please don’t ask ‘What do
I have?’ How very infuriating it will be for all your admirers. You
have the kind of energy that can become inflamed by personal
passions, so get busy or else you will feel terribly frustrated.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

While finances and fortunes are on the turn under Uranus’s
precarious influence, it can’t be predictable, but it can be
interesting. Your love of shared knowledge could help you meet
some business savvy people. An avalanche of existential
thoughts will domino and possibly alter your values.
Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV
www.thelatest.tv
For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit
www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact
Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide
81 – 7 JANUARY
Boxsets of Buffy and Angel are still flying out of
the shops, as is Tru Calling, Dollshouse and Dark
Angel. You get my drift.
The thing is, if it’s good it doesn’t feel tired. This is
quite good. It’s got a decent script, beautiful people
With Victoria Nangle
who can actually do a bit of acting, and an opening
episode that sets the scene and yet doesn’t drag in
the execution of some quite key set-up points. You
know how sometimes an episode’s own plot can
suffer when you’re concentrating on what the basics
are you’re supposed to be taking in? That doesn’t
happen here. In fact, it’s got the feel of any number
of the aforementioned successful supernatural
series that always had faith that their over-reaching
story arcs set up for the first two or three series
were always going to be reached. There’s a quiet
nyone else remember a fantasy drama in the
confidence. Kristin Kreuk is not playing a teenager
late 1980s called Beauty And The Beast,
to be trapped in high school well into the appearance
starring Linda Hamilton off of Terminator and
of her first anti-wrinkle cream advert. They’ve got a
Ron Perlman – star of lots of excellent films?
set-up that can age well with the actors. Government
Ridiculous and utterly enchanting for a child to
conspiracies, family loyalties, there’s even an exwatch, she was a lovely
Hollyoaks actor turning up as the
district attorney and he was a
suave playboy coroner. Truly.
sensitive lion man person, it
New Beauty And The Beast has
“Trapped in high
was an everyday tale of
already been nominated for a
vigilantes in the underbelly of school well into the People’s Choice Award under the
New York putting wrongs right.
of Favourite New TV Drama
appearance of her category
Fast forward over 20 years
for 2013, so the confidence of those
and tune in to the reboot
story arcs doesn’t seem too
first anti-wrinkle
starring Smallville’s Kristin
misplaced. It’s fun, it’s something to
Kreuk as a kickass NYPD
look forward to further into the New
cream ad”
homicide detective – as
Year once you’ve finished up all of
kickass as you can be whilst
those DVD box sets you asked for
also maintaining constantly beautful hair – and
from your folks for Christmas but didn’t bargain on
Jay Ryan (who played Jack Scully in Neighbours
the actual timeframe it would take to watch. It’s even
yonks ago) as a mysterious do-gooder with
got eight episodes written by the series creator Ron
supernatural strength and more than a few secrets
Koslow – who also happened to create the original
under his belt. Now, I know this is a reboot and not
series back in the 1980s. And we’re back to why
just another go at a popular title because – get
these characters have the same names as in the
this – the lead characters have exactly the same
original. If it ain’t broke, just recast it. And see if it
names. Who else would have noticed?
might actually exceed the three series span that
There’s a genre that’s being well-tapped at the
came to a close in 1990. Now there’s a challenge.
moment, but has always proven popular – hence
Beauty And The Beast, Watch, Wednesday 16
the three-year run of the original shaggy and
January 2013
pretty aka Beauty And The Beast. Current offerings
include The Vampire Diaries, Twilight, Switched,
Follow me: latestvicky
Grimm, Moonlight, Misfits and repeats of Charmed.

Telly Talk

Beastly
good fun

A

025_LS609_TV_tue01_NYD_L7wed14apr.qxd 20/12/2012 10:28 Page 1

new year’s day
Gary Barlow And Friends
ITV1, 9pm
Welcome the New Year with old
Grumpy Pants OBE himself, lifting
a smile as he steps away from his
X Factor role and back to the pop
star and pal to the stars we know
he is. Joining Gary tonight are his
superstar friends Peter Kay,
James Corden, Mark Owen, JLS
and Nicole Scherzinger. Bet
they’ve read his diary too.

Charlie Brooker’s 2012 Wipe
BBC2, 10pm
Casting a sardonic eye over the
events of 2012, a sarcastic quip
and an incensed rant, Charlie
Brooker directs his tailored vitriol
towards such happenings as the
Olympics, the Jubilee, exposed
regal flesh, The Valleys and
pussy riots. With added extras
from Doug Stanhope, Sharon
Horgan and Peter Serafinowicz.

The 100 Greatest Musicals
More4, 6.15pm
Denise Van Outen concludes the
two-part countdown of the best
musicals as voted for my the
viewers. This is definitely an
odyssey, with many stories
making up the whole picture, but
for that possible New Year’s
hangover and post-party low a
few lovely songs might be just
the ticket to lift your mood.

sport

¸ terrestrial
BBC1

6.00am Breakfast
9.00 FILM: Hotel For Dogs (2009)
10.35 FILM: Three Men And A Little
Lady (1990)
12.15pm The Archbishop Of
Canterbury’s New Year Message
12.20 BBC News
12.35 South East Today
12.45 Frozen Planet: The Epic Journey
1.45 FILM: Mary Poppins (1964)
4.00 FILM: The Princess And The
Frog (2009)
5.35 BBC News
5.50 South East Today
6.00 Celebrity Mastermind Flog It
presenter Paul Martin, gold medalwinning Olympian Pete Reed, actress
Jaye Griffiths and magician Pete
Firman all take part.
6.30 FILM: Up (2009) Starring
Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer,
Jordan Nagai. Animation telling the
story of 78-year-old Carl, who ties
thousands of balloons to his house
and floats off to South America to
fulfil his lifelong dream.
8.00 EastEnders It is Lexi’s
christening, and the Mitchells
congregate to celebrate.
9.00 Miranda Sitcom starring and
written by Miranda Hart. Penny
embarrasses Miranda by running for
local councillor with Tilly as her
wingman. Gary has put himself on
the dating scene and Miranda
decides she has to do the same.
9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Comedy
series about a meddling market stall
holder. The family celebrate the
baptism of Dermot and Maria’s
triplets with a party.
10.00 BBC News At Ten
10.15 South East Today
10.25 Match Of The Day Highlights
of the first seven Premier League
fixturesof 2013 on a busy day of New
Year action.
11.45 The Graham Norton Show
The award-winning host continues
his unique chat show.
12.45am Weatherview 12.50 News

BBC2

6.00am Pingu 6.05 Timmy Time
6.15 Rastamouse 6.30 The Large
Family 6.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures
7.00 Naomi’s Nightmares Of Nature
7.30 4 O’Clock Club 8.00 M.I. High
8.30 Hero Squad 8.55 Deadly Art
9.15 The Great British Bake Off
10.15 The Great British Bake Off
11.15 New Year’s Day Concert 2013
12.45pm FILM: Dances With Wolves
(1990) 3.35 Great Continental Railway
Journeys 4.30 Final Score
5.25 The Archbishop Of Canterbury’s
New Year Message
5.30 Goodbye To Canterbury
6.30 Christmas University
Challenge The last of the first-round
matches. University of Birmingham
and University of East Anglia fight it
out in a bid to reach the semi-finals.
Team members include Anna Soubry
MP and Charlie Higson.
7.00 Hairy Dieters: How To Love
Food And Lose Weight Series in
which Hairy Bikers Si and Dave
embark on a campaign to lose twoand-a-half stones in three months.
8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events
Documentary series exploring bizarre
and extraordinary natural events on
the planet.
9.00 Queen Victoria’s Children
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
shared a passionate marriage. Behind
closed doors, royal domestic life
often seemed like a battlefield. In a
60-year family saga this three-part
series explores the reign of Victoria
through her personal relationships
with her husband and her
nine children.
10.00 Charlie Brooker’s 2012 Wipe
See highlights.
11.00 QI Quiz show. A compilation of
some of the best bits from the series,
with Stephen Fry and Alan Davies.
11.30 I’m In A Boy Band
Documentary exploring boy bands
from the inside out.
12.30am Hebburn 1.00 Twenty
Twelve 1.30 FILM: Count The
Hours (1953)

ITV1

6.00 – 6.30am Children’s television
6.30 The Hive 6.40 The Hive 6.50
Canimals 7.00 Fleabag Monkeyface
7.15 Fleabag Monkeyface 7.30
Almost Naked Animals 7.45 Almost
Naked Animals 8.00 Horrid Henry
8.15 Horrid Henry 8.30 Victorious
9.00 Share A Story: Behind The
Scenes 9.25 FILM: Dragonheart (1996)
11.15 Dancing On Ice Goes Gold
1.10pm ITV News & Weather
1.25 FILM: Pride & Prejudice (2005)
3.45 Elizabeth: Queen, Wife, Mother
4.50 Les Miserables Movie Special
5.45 ITV News & Weather
6.00 River Monsters New series
with extreme angler Jeremy Wade as
he travels around the globe in search
of fresh water monsters. In this first
episode, he is in southern Africa on
the banks of the Okavango to check
out tales of a species of river monster
that hunt in packs. Crikey!
6.30 Emmerdale Katie is left hurt
when Megan reveals Declan’s true
feelings. Concerned for Moira, Zak
confronts Cain about his intentions.
7.00 Royal Babies Nothing unites
the nation in celebration like the birth
of a royal baby, whose destiny is one
day to be our King or Queen.
Following the announcement that
Kate and William are expecting their
first child, this programme takes a
look at royal pregnancies, births and
babies.
8.00 Celebrity Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire? New Year Special
Celebrity contestants attempt to win
that magical million in this New Year
special. Chris Tarrant asks questions
about events from the past year.
9.00 Gary Barlow And Friends See
highlights.
10.15 ITV News; Weather
10.30 FILM: King Kong (2005)
Starring Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody,
Jack Black, Colin Hanks. Oscarwinning remake of the classic
Depression-era monster movie.
1.40am Jackpot247 3.00 Pushing
Daisies 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

6.25 Channel 4 News
6.30 Celebrity Deal Or No Deal
Joan Collins takes on the boxes and
the Banker as she hopes to win up to
a quarter of a million pounds for her
chosen charity, with a little help from
her friends, including Glynis Barber,
Michael Brandon, Emma Samms,
Helen Lederer and Lisa Maxwell.
7.30 Frankie Howerd: The Lost
Tapes Documentary revealing neverbefore-seen footage of one of the
country’s most popular comedy stars,
Frankie Howerd. Alongside clips from
his classic shows, the programme
unveils professional and personal
archive film and audio.
9.00 FILM: Robin Hood (2010)
Starring Russell Crowe, Cate
Blanchett, Matthew Macfadyen and
Max von Sidow. Action drama
retelling the legendary tale of Robin
Hood. After the failure of the Third
Crusade, outlawed Robin Hood
returns to England, where King John
has imposed hefty new taxes and
enlisted his treacherous nobleman Sir
Godfrey to enforce them. Boo! Hiss!
Down with this sort of thing!
11.45 Rude Tube: Christmas
Cracker 50 moments of yuletide
hilarity plucked from the internet.
12.50am The Last Leg Of The Year
1.45 FILM: Bug (2006)
3.30 St Elsewhere 4.15 Smallville
5.00 Celebrity Deal Or No Deal
5.55 Sali Mali

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.30am Children’s television
6.30 Jelly Jamm 6.45 Peppa Pig
6.50 Olive The Ostrich 6.55 Little
Princess 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little
Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show
7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In
Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots
8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig
8.20 Roary The Racing Car
8.35 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Tickety
Toc 9.10 Thomas & Friends
10.30 Dallas 11.25 FILM: Seven
Brides For Seven Brothers (1954)
1.30pm FILM: Ben-Hur (1959)
5.40 FILM: The Dam Busters (1954)
8.00 World’s Strongest Man 2012
The 35th running of the international
strongman competition from the
grounds of the Commerce Casino in
Los Angeles. Ten men have earned
the right to battle for the title of
World’s Strongest Man, among them
England’s Terry Hollands.
9.00 50 Shocking Facts About Diet
And Exercise A countdown show
looking at the shocking truth behind
what we eat and the often dangerous
and misguided methods we adopt in
order to lose weight. Scientists,
industry experts and exponents
discuss the pros and cons of fad
diets, ‘healthy’ foods and extreme
exercise regimes.
11.05 FILM: The Craft (1996)
Starring Fairuza Balk, Robin Tunney,
Neve Campbell, Rachel True,
Christine Taylor and Skeet Ulrich.
Atmospheric supernatural horror tale
in which four outsiders at an elite
school form a witches’ coven, using
their occult powers to make their
wishes come true and seek revenge
for their exclusion. Dubbed the
Bitches of Eastwick by their fellow
students, they revel in their freedom
to ‘exorcise their rites’. But they
discover that there is a terrible price
to pay when witchery goes wrong.
1.05am SuperCasino
3.55 House Doctor 4.20 Divine
Designs 4.45 Great Artists
5.10 Nick’s Quest 5.35 Nick’s Quest

Sky Sports 3
6.00am The Sky Sports Years
7.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2007
9.00 The Premiership Years
11.00 The Sky Sports Years
12.00pm Gillette Soccer Special:
Christmas Special 2009 2.00 The Sky
Sports Years 3.00 The Premiership
Years 5.00 The Sky Sports Years
6.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2010
8.00 The Premiership Years
10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00
Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Gillette
Christmas Special 2004 2.00 The Sky
Sports Years 3.00 Time Of Our Lives
4.00 The Premiership Years
Victoria Nangle

7.00pm New Year’s Day
Concert 2013
9.00 Fifties British War
Films: Days Of Glory
10.00 FILM: The Wooden
Horse (1950)
11.40 The Treasures Of
Ancient Rome
12.40am Sex And
Sensibility: The Allure Of
Art Nouveau 1.40 New
Year’s Day Concert 2013

wednesday 2
Africa
BBC1, 9pm
Patron saint of nature telly David
Attenborough takes a remarkable
journey through the huge
continent of Africa, as it has
never been seen before.
Examining the life teaming in the
deserts, and nature’s incredible
way of surviving whatever the
conditions, this’ll knock your
socks off with ingenuity.

Secrets Of A Good Marriage
With Sharon Horgan
Channel 4, 10pm
Ever wondered what the secret is
to a happy relationship? Sharon
Horgan gatecrashes six very
different marriages and a
wedding to see if she can grab a
clue as to what the top tips for
survival might be. She also talks
to Steven and Shelley, who run a
marriage guidance website.

FILM: Percy Jackson
And The Lightning Thief
Film4, 4.15pm
With Percy Jackson due to tangle
with a ‘Sea Of Monsters’ in
August with the next instalment,
you may want to refresh yourself
as to who this smart talking son
of a god might be. Based on the
bestselling book series by Rick
Riordan, its gorgons and myths
coming to life at every step.

sport

¸ terrestrial
BBC1

6.00am Breakfast
9.15 Wanted Down Under
10.00 Homes Under The Hammer
11.00 Saints And Scroungers
11.45 Cowboy Trap
12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News At One
1.30 South East Today
1.45 Doctors
2.15 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook
2.45 Escape To The Country
3.45 Perfection
4.30 Flog It!
5.15 Pointless
6.00 BBC News At Six
6.30 South East Today
7.00 Celebrity Mastermind Food
critic Charles Campion, Emmerdale
actor Kurtis Stacey, BBC Breakfast
presenter Naga Munchetty and sixtimes gold medal winning
Paralympian Darren Kenny answer
questions.
7.30 Wallace And Gromit: A
Matter Of Loaf And Death Comic
adventure starring the hapless
inventor and his canine sidekick. The
pair have opened a new bakery
business, Top Bun, but local bakers
are being targeted by a mysterious
assassin.
8.00 Holby City As Luc finds a
breakthrough in his research, a
patient’s tattoo unexpectedly
becomes the gateway to his darker
side.
9.00 Africa See highlights.
10.00 BBC News At Ten
10.25 South East Today
10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue
Barker hosts the light-hearted sports
quiz, with team captains Matt
Dawson and Phil Tufnell.
11.05 Match Of The Day Colin
Murray presents highlights of the
night’s three Premier League games,
with analysis from Alan Hansen.
12.10am FILM: Disturbia (2007)
1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone:
Rome’s Lost Empire 3.10 Inside
Claridge’s 4.10 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Pingu 6.05 Timmy Time
6.15 Rastamouse 6.30 The Large
Family 6.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures
7.00 Naomi’s Nightmares Of Nature
7.30 4 O’Clock Club 8.00 M.I. High
8.30 Hero Squad 9.00 FILM: Underdog
(2007) 10.15 Coast 10.45 The Great
British Bake Off 11.45 The Great
British Bake Off 12.45pm Great British
Food Revival 1.15 The Weakest Link:
Sporting Heroes Special 2.15 Inside
Claridge’s 3.15 FILM: The Cheyenne
Social Club (1970) 5.00 Great
Continental Railway Journeys
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.
6.30 Christmas University
Challenge The first of the semi-final
matches in this Christmas series
featuring special guests. Jeremy
Paxman asks the questions.
7.00 Hairy Dieters: How To Love
Food And Lose Weight Series in
which Hairy Bikers Si and Dave
embark on a campaign to lose twoand-a-half stones in three months.
8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events
Documentary series exploring bizarre
and extraordinary natural events on
the planet.
9.00 Queen Victoria’s Children In a
60-year family saga this three-part
series explores the reign of Queen
Victoria through her personal
relationships with her husband and
her nine children. It is a story of
manipulation, conflict, intimidation,
emotional blackmail, and fevered
attempts by her children to escape
the clutches of their domineering and
needy mother. Cripes!
10.00 Mock The Week Dara O
Briain and the team present an
extended Christmas spectacular.
11.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Highlights from the past series.
11.30 I’m In A Girl Group!
Documentary exploring girl groups
from the inside out.
12.30am Hebburn 1.00 Twenty
Twelve 1.30 FILM: The Big Steal
(1949) 2.40 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight
6.30 ITV News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Katie wonders if
she should leave Declan.
7.30 Coronation Street Tommy
makes a sacrifice to protect Tyrone.
An emotional Chesney waits
anxiously by Fiz’s bedside.
8.00 Midsomer Murders
The murder of a journalist has
chilling echoes of a 1960s horror film
starring Midsomer’s own Stella
Harris. When Stella’s more famous
sister returns after a 40-year family
rift, the killings escalate, each of
them reminiscent of a movie plot. Is
life – and death – imitating art?
10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather
10.35 2012: A Funny Old Year
Jason Manford is joined by an allstar cast of stand up comics to
discuss the events of past the year.
Subjects range from the Olympics,
the Diamond Jubilee and the
constant rain, to Gangnam Style and
the Mobot. They talk about the best,
the worst and strangest highlights of
an eventful 12 months.
11.35 Safari Vet School
Series in which TV vet Steve Leonard
acts as guide and mentor to students
from the UK as they try to cope with
the challenges and terrors of being a
wildlife vet.
12.05am Jackpot247
3.00 FILM: Bonnie And Clyde (1967)
4.55 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons
6.30 Hollyoaks Cheryl plans a
surprise lunch at The Dog but her
motives remain unclear.
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.55 4thought.tv
8.00 Gok’s Style Secrets Gok Wan
returns to screens to help Britain’s 15
million singletons by overhauling
their image and their self-esteem. 30year-old fantasy film buff Zoe
Burgess from Sunbury-on-Thames is a
nursery school nurse who still lives at
home with her mum and has never
had a long-term relationship. With
not much dating experience, she’ll
get help to transform her confidence.
9.00 One Born Every Minute
Fly-on-the-wall documentary series
filmed in two busy maternity wards
in Leeds hospitals. Stacey, who is
having her second child, keeps being
sent home due to false alarms, which
proves difficult for her husband and
first-time dad Lee.
10.00 Secrets Of A Good Marriage
With Sharon Horgan See highlights.
11.05 The 50 Funniest Moments
Of 2012 Stacey Solomon, Russell
Kane, Rob Beckett, Katherine Ryan and
a host of comedians and celebrities
take a look back at the funniest and
most outrageous moments of 2012.
1.05am FILM: Rosemary’s Baby
(1968) 3.25 FILM: Destination Moon
(1950) 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

6.30 5 News
7.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And
Trailers Observational documentary
series following the famous haulage
company. Driver Fiona has a trucking
nightmare as she struggles to gets to
grips with making deliveries to Bolton
supermarkets in a new urban trailer
she has never used before.
8.00 World’s Craziest Police
Pursuits 5 A cop’s-eye view of the
madness and mayhem caused when
bad motorists turn into fugitives
trying to outrun the police.
9.00 FILM: Elektra (2005) Starring
Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic,
Kirsten Prout, Terence Stamp and
Will Yun Lee. Martial arts action
drama. A warrior assassin is charged
with killing a man to pay for the sins
of his grandfather, but switches sides
to protect him from the supernatural
team of ninjas who hired her.
11.00 FILM: Wind Chill (2007)
Starring Emily Blunt, Ashton Holmes,
Martin Donovan, Ned Bellamy, Ian
Wallace and Donny Lucas. Chilling
horror. Two strangers share a ride
home from university in heavy snow
when, on a narrow and treacherous
shortcut to the freeway, a mysterious
car forces them into a snowbank.
Things are gonna get hairy!
12.45am Forensic Files 1.15
SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20
Divine Designs 4.45 Great Artists
5.10 Nick’s Quest 5.35 Nick’s Quest

Sky Sports 3
6.00am The Sky Sports Years
7.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2008
9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 The
Sky Sports Years 12.00pm Gillette
Soccer Special: Christmas Special
2009 2.00 The Sky Sports Years 3.00
The Premiership Years 5.00 The Sky
Sports Years 6.00 Gillette Christmas
Special 2011 7.30 Football’s Greatest
8.00 The Sky Sports Years 9.00 The
Sky Sports Years 10.00 The Sky
Sports Years 11.00 Time Of Our Lives
12.00am Soccer AM: Christmas
Special 2010 2.00 The Sky Sports
Years 3.00 Time Of Our Lives 4.00 The
Premiership Years

thursday 3
Celebrity Big Brother:
Live Launch
Channel Five, 9pm
New year, new celebrities in
captivity! For those not so
enamored with creepy crawlies
but happy with the lack of
privacy, it’s the natural follower
to I’m A Celebrity... This time
with running water and central
heating. Brian Dowling and
Emma Willis do the hosting.

Trouble Abroad
ITV1, 9pm
The first of a two-part programme
looking at how the Brit dream of
a life abroad sometimes doesn’t
live up to the sunny fantasy. Shot
on location in Florida, Spain and
France, this looks at some of the
horror stories of how things can
go wrong through divorce, bad
health and lost investments.
There’s no place like home.

Bad Education
BBC3, 9pm, 9.30pm, 10pm
Since Jack Whitehall scooped up
that comedy gong last year you
may want to re-examine his TV
oeuvre. Voila a triple bill of the
school-based sitcom in which he
not only stars but also does a
spot of writing too. Is there no
end to this man’s talents?
Adventures include a field trip
and being the supply PE teacher.

sport

¸ terrestrial
BBC1

6.00am Breakfast
9.15 Wanted Down Under
10.00 Homes Under The Hammer
11.00 Saints And Scroungers
11.45 Cowboy Trap
12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News At One
1.30 South East Today
1.45 Doctors
2.15 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook
2.45 Escape To The Country
3.45 Perfection
4.30 Flog It!
5.15 Pointless
6.00 BBC News At Six
6.30 South East Today
7.00 Celebrity Mastermind
Celebrity edition of the quiz.
Comedian Steve Punt, Casualty actor
Michael Obiora, presenter Clemency
Burton-Hill and BBC weatherman
John Hammond answer questions.
7.30 EastEnders Joey returns to
Albert Square to support Alice after
the death of their father.
8.00 Waterloo Road School-based
drama. Sparks fly as the notorious
Barry family join the school.
9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build
Overnight Julie Jones’s family grew
from three children to eight when she
decided to take in her friend’s
children. Nick Knowles and the team
travel to Huntingdon to transform
Julie’s house.
10.00 BBC News At Ten
10.25 South East Today
10.35 Summer In Blackpool This
film goes behind the scenes with the
people working hard to keep
Blackpool ahead of the game through
one of the wettest summers ever.
11.35 Have I Got A Bit More News
For You An extended compilation of
the popular news quiz.
12.20am Skiing Weatherview
12.25 Sign Zone: Attenborough’s Ark:
Natural World Special 1.25
Countryfile 2.25 Antiques Roadshow
3.25 Great British Food Revival
4.25 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Pingu 6.05 Timmy Time
6.15 Rastamouse 6.30 The Large
Family 6.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures
7.00 Naomi’s Nightmares Of Nature
7.30 4 O’Clock Club 8.00 M.I. High
8.30 Hero Squad 9.00 FILM: The
Sword In The Stone (1963) 10.15
Coast 10.45 The Great British Bake
Off 11.45 The Great British Bake Off
12.45pm Great British Food Revival
1.15 The Weakest Link: Boxing
Special 2.15 Inside Claridge’s
3.20 FILM: Confessions Of A
Shopaholic (2009) 5.00 Great
Continental Railway Journeys
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts
the quiz show.
6.30 Christmas University
Challenge It is the last of the semifinal matches in the University
Challenge Christmas quiz. Jeremy
Paxman asks the questions.
7.00 Hairy Dieters: How To Love
Food And Lose Weight Series in
which Hairy Bikers Si and Dave
embark on a campaign to lose twoand-a-half stones in three months.
8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events
Documentary series exploring bizarre
and extraordinary natural events on
the planet.
9.00 Queen Victoria’s Children
This final episode focuses on Victoria’s
relationship with her sons and how,
after Albert’s death, they struggled to
live up to his model of purity. It
explores Victoria’s difficult relationship
with her eldest son Bertie, whom she
blamed for Albert’s death, believing
his sexual indiscretions to have fatally
weakened her husband.
10.00 FILM: Mrs Brown (1997)
Starring Judi Dench, Billy Connolly,
Geoffrey Palmer, Antony Sher, Gerard
Butler Dramatisation of one of
history’s most unusual love stories.
11.40 I’m A Pop Star! In the final
part of the series it’s all about the
solo artists.
12.40am Hebburn
1.10 Twenty Twelve
1.40 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight
6.30 ITV News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Rachel and Rishi
worry that Jai is struggling to cope
with not seeing Archie. Bob and Dan
have a plan to attract women.
7.30 Is Britain Overcrowded?:
Tonight In 2013 as Britain
approaches its biggest baby boom for
40 years, Fiona Foster looks at
whether services that are already
stretched to the limit will be able to
cope with the demand.
8.00 Emmerdale Charity’s hand is
forced when an argument between
Jai and Rishi explodes.
8.30 Nursing Britain A new series
which looks at the work of the
District Nurses who travel around the
country caring for their patients in
their own homes. In Somerset,
Shonna drives hundreds of miles a
week through the countryside to see
her patients.
9.00 Trouble Abroad See highlights.
10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather
10.35 Gary Barlow And Friends
Gary Barlow is joined by some
superstar friends. Another chance to
see the New Year special.
11.50 The Golden Rules Of TV Sixpart series showing what to do and
what not to do on TV in a fun-filled
romp through the archives.
12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 Is Britain
Overcrowded?: Tonight 3.25 Pushing
Daisies 4.10 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons
6.30 Hollyoaks Things get tense for
the Osbornes.
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.55 4thought.tv
8.00 Location, Location, Location
Phil and Kirstie helps identical twins
Matt and Chris Wickham, who are
buying their first home together in
London on a budget of £350,000.
9.00 The Restoration Man George
Clarke meets people who want to
restore architectural treasures. Using
an inheritance from his late father,
artist Keith McIntyre and his wife
Sheena have bought a listed, Thomas
Telford-designed church on the
remote Scottish island of Berneray. In
restoring this roofless ruin, Keith and
Sheena face challenges from the
extreme weather and have to keep
the neighbours on side while
managing the build 400 miles away
from their home in Newcastle.
10.00 Millionaire Boy Racers
Documentary looking at the influx of
super-rich Arab tourists and their
expensive cars into central London
every summer.
11.05 The 15-Stone Babies
Documentary exploring the fantasy
world of Britain’s ‘adult babies’.
12.05am Catfish 1.45 Frankenstein:
A Modern Myth 2.40 When Hell
Freezes 4.00 Time Team
4.55 Deal Or No Deal
5.50 Sali Mali 5.55 The Hoobs

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television
8.00 Peppa Pig 8.10 Peppa Pig
8.20 Roary The Racing Car
8.35 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.50 Tickety
Toc 9.05 Bert And Ernie’s Great
Adventures 9.10 Castle Farm
9.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 9.40
Looney Tunes 9.50 Meerkat Manor
10.20 Emergency Bikers 11.25 CSI:
Miami 12.25pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.30 The Mentalist 1.25 Meals In
Moments 1.35 FILM: Jane Doe: Ties
That Bind (2007) 3.15 FILM: Out Of
The Woods (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5
5.30 Emergency Bikers
6.30 5 News At 5
7.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And
Trailers Observational documentary
series. Trucker Kevin gets an eyeful on
the graveyard shift in Liverpool city
centre and makes a dash to aid a
member of the public. The backroom
boys at the Stobart garage get tooled
up as they prepare a trailer for its MOT.
8.00 Great Northern Cookbook
Sean Wilson embarks on a culinary
adventure to discover the heritage and
phenomenal flavours of the north of
England’s favourite foods. Sean is in
the beautiful coastal town of Whitby,
where he joins trawlermen at work.
He then heads to Morpeth to take on
the challenge of trying to convert a
group of Northumberland offal-haters
with some stuffed lambs hearts. It is a
massive challenge but Sean has a
recipe in mind which he thinks will
have them licking their plates.
9.00 Celebrity Big Brother:
Live Launch See highlights.
11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit
On The Side Emma Willis hosts a
round-up of Big Brother-related news
and debate, with special guests,
exclusive footage and behind the
scenes treats.
12.00am SuperCasino
3.55 House Doctor 4.20 Divine
Designs 4.45 Michaela’s Wild
Challenge 5.10 Nick’s Quest
5.35 Nick’s Quest

Sky Sports 3
6.00am The Sky Sports Years
7.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2004
9.00 The Premiership Years
11.00 The Sky Sports Years
12.00pm Gillette Christmas Special
2005 2.00 The Sky Sports Years
3.00 The Premiership Years
5.00 The Sky Sports Years
6.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2003
8.00 The Premiership Years
10.00 The Sky Sports Years
11.00 Time Of Our Lives
12.00am Gillette Christmas Special
2011 2.00 The Sky Sports Years
3.00 Time Of Our Lives
4.00 The Premiership Years

friday 4
Come Dine With Me
Comedy Mash Up
Channel 4, 7.55pm
C4’s gone all topsy turvy for an
evening, as Alan Carr hijacks
Million Pound Drop, the 8 Out Of
10 Cats boys take over Deal Or
No Deal, and Come Dine With Me
is populated by comics making
laughter and puds. Olivia Lee,
Pete Firman, Angelos Epithemiou
and Stan Boardman take part.

Celebrity Wedding Planner:
EastEnders Special
Channel Five, 10.30pm
Really, it’s the most important day
of your life and you’re going to
trust it to a pair of celebrities.
They mean well but... y’know.
EastEnders stars John Partridge
and Nina Wadia are put in charge
of Jade and George’s big day and
decide to go ‘off script’ from the
couple’s black and white theme.

The Big Bang Theory
E4, 6pm & 6.30pm
What do you do when Sheldon
gets sick? Run the other way very
fast if you have any experience of
such an event, which is exactly
why the other lads check
themselves in to a Planet Of The
Apes marathon. So Penny does
her best and a song about a ‘soft
kitty’ is introduced to the world.
Classic episodes.

sport

¸ terrestrial
BBC1

6.00am Breakfast
9.15 Wanted Down Under
10.00 Homes Under The Hammer
11.00 Saints And Scroungers
11.45 Cowboy Trap
12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News At One
1.30 South East Today
1.45 Doctors
2.15 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook
2.45 Escape To The Country
3.45 Perfection
4.30 Flog It!
5.15 Pointless
6.00 BBC News At Six
6.30 South East Today
7.00 Celebrity Mastermind Nick
Hancock, T’Pau singer Carol Decker,
TV presenter Michael Underwood and
rugby player Austin Healey try their
luck answering questions.
7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue
Barker hosts the light-hearted sports
quiz, with team captains Matt
Dawson and Phil Tufnell.
8.00 EastEnders The day of Derek’s
funeral has arrived.
8.30 Room 101 Frank Skinner hosts.
With guests John Craven, Miranda
Hart and Reggie Yates.
9.00 EastEnders There is a race
against time to get to the police
station when Lauren is pushed to tell
the truth about the car crash.
9.30 Live At The Apollo Greg Davies
hosts and introduces sets from Hal
Cruttenden and Simon Evans.
10.00 BBC News At Ten
10.25 South East Today
10.35 The Graham Norton Show
The award-winning host continues
his unique chat show.
11.20 FILM: I Love You, Man (2009)
Starring Paul Rudd, Jason Segel,
Rashida Jones, Jaime Pressly. Comedy.
1.00am Weatherview
1.05 FILM: Sign Zone: Room On The
Broom 1.35 Who Do You Think You Are?
2.35 Great British Food Revival
3.35 News

BBC2

6.00am Pingu 6.05 Timmy Time
6.15 Rastamouse 6.30 The Large
Family 6.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures
7.00 Naomi’s Nightmares Of Nature
7.30 4 O’Clock Club 8.00 M.I. High
8.30 Hero Squad 9.00 FILM:
The Magic Roundabout (2005)
10.15 Coast 10.45 The Great British
Bake Off 11.45 The Great British Bake
Off 12.45pm Great British Food Revival
1.15 The Weakest Link: Rugby Players
Special 2.15 Inside Claridge’s 3.15 FILM:
Jason And The Argonauts (1963) 5.00
Great Continental Railway Journeys
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.
6.30 Christmas University
Challenge It is the grand final of this
seasonal competition – which
university will be Christmas
University Challenge champions?
Jeremy Paxman asks the questions.
7.00 Hairy Dieters: How To Love
Food And Lose Weight Series in
which Hairy Bikers Si and Dave
embark on a campaign to lose twoand-a-half stones in three months.
8.00 Timewatch – Young Victoria
The story of how an unassuming little
girl rose to be the most powerful
woman in the world.
8.50 FILM: The Young Victoria
(2009) Starring Emily Blunt, Rupert
Friend, Paul Bettany, Miranda
Richardson, Jim Broadbent. Period
drama from Downton Abbey writer
Julian Fellowes. After a confined and
controlled childhood, Princess Victoria
faces a fight just to become queen.
10.30 QI Quiz show. More of the best
bits from the series, with Stephen
Fry, Alan Davies and guests.
11.00 The Review Show With
Billy Connolly Kirsty Wark spoke
to Glasgows most famous son just
before his 70th birthday to discuss
his latest acting role in Quartet.
11.45 Jools Holland: My Life
In Music Music documentary.
12.45am Hebburn 1.15 Twenty Twelve
1.50 FILM: The Emerald Forest (1985)

6.00 Meridian Tonight
6.30 ITV News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Jai tries covering
the truth, but Charity is unconvinced
and insists they stay apart.
7.30 Coronation Street Lewis lays
his cards on the table. Will Tommy
take the flack for Tyrone’s mistake?
8.00 Wild Britain With Ray Mears
Brand new series with Ray Mears as
he continues to celebrate Britain’s
landscape and its wildlife. In this first
episode, he visits the Isle of Mull
where he joins local whale watching
skipper James Fairburns.
8.30 Coronation Street
Will Gail follow her head or her
heart? Leanne is determined to
win back Nick’s affections.
9.00 Benidorm It is Christmas on
the Costa Blanca and the Garveys are
staying with Mel and Madge in their
luxury hilltop villa - but will Mel make
it back from a business trip in time
for Christmas dinner?
10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather
10.35 FILM: The Island (2005)
Starring Ewan McGregor, Scarlett
Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean
Bean, Steve Buscemi. Futuristic
thriller about a seemingly utopian
containment facility in the mid-21st
century. The residents hope to be
chosen to go to the Island - the last
uncontaminated place on Earth.
1.00am The Store 3.00 FILM: Must
Love Dogs (2005) 4.40 Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.20am The Hoobs 6.50 Will And
Grace 7.15 According To Jim
7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond
8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond
8.40 Frasier
9.15 Frasier
9.45 The Big Bang Theory
10.15 The Big Bang Theory
10.45 The Simpsons
11.15 The Simpsons
11.45 FILM: Cocoon: The Return (1988)
2.00pm FILM: Calamity Jane (1953)
4.00 Deal Or No Deal
5.00 Come Dine With Me
6.00 The Simpsons
6.30 Hollyoaks
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.25 4thought.tv
7.30 The Channel 4 Mash Up
7.35 The Million Pound Chatty
Man Drop Alan Carr presents a
special Chatty Man version of The
Million Pound Drop in which Loose
Women Denise Welch, Sherrie
Hewson, Lisa Maxwell and Jane
McDonald take on Richard Bacon and
Alexander Armstrong.
7.55 Come Dine With Me Comedy
Mash Up See highlights.
8.55 The Million Pound Chatty
Man Drop Alan is back with more
chatty prize-winning celebrities.
9.10 Made In Chelsea Celebrity
Mash Up A number of Channel 4
faces swap their postcodes for Made
in Chelsea’s SW3.
9.35 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Deal Or
No Deal The 8 Out of 10 Cats
panelists - Jimmy Carr, Jon
Richardson and Sean Lock - hijack an
episode of Deal or No Deal.
10.35 The Million Pound Chatty
Man Drop The final special Chatty
Man version of The Million Pound Drop.
11.35 Big Fat Quiz Of The Year
2012 New Year’s quiz... again.
1.35am FILM: The Fly (1986)
3.15 The Silent City
3.25 St Elsewhere
4.15 Smallville 5.00 Deal Or No Deal
5.55 Sali Mali

Sky Sports 3
6.00am The Sky Sports Years
7.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2007
9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 The
Sky Sports Years 12.00pm Gillette
Christmas Special 2004 2.00 The Sky
Sports Years 3.00 Premier League
Years 5.00 The Sky Sports Years
6.00 Gillette Christmas Special 2006
8.00 Premier League Years 10.00
Super League Super Tries 10.30 LIVE
PGA Tour Golf 3.00am Time Of Our
Lives 4.00 Premier League Years

7.00pm BBC World News
7.30 Robin Gibb’s Titanic
Requiem 8.45 Sounds Of
The Seventies Solos 8.50
Sounds Of The Seventies
Shorts 9.00 Top Of The
Pops: The Story Of 1978
9.50 Top Of The Pops: 1978
- Big Hits 10.50 Queen Live
In Budapest: Hungarian
Rhapsody 12.20am Top Of
The Pops: The Story Of 1978

saturday 5
Britain’s Brightest
BBC1, 7.10pm
Here’s the answer to all of
those talent show snobs – a
talent show with a difference. A
talent show that tests your mind!
Ooh! Testing your emotional
intelligence and processing
speed and with the chance to
win up to £50,000. Not a game
show, actually a talent show. For
sure. Hosted by Clare Balding.

Splash!
ITV1, 7.15pm
Did you look at Olympian
medallist Tom Daley diving and
go: “I want to do that!”? Vernon
Kay and Gabby Logan present
heat one of a show in which five
celebrities actually get taught
how to dive with the wunderswim himself. Only two of them
will proceed into the semi-final so
they need to tuck in well.

Borgen
BBC4, 9pm & 10pm
So, The Killing III had us on
tenterhooks and then turned
round and gave us the sideswipe
we’d always longed for. Let’s see
if the new series of Borgen can
do the same. Birgitte Nyborg has
been prime minister for two years
now and Kasper is still helping in
the ways of spin. Time for a more
international feel to plot turns.

6.00 Animal Antics From criminal
cats to piano-playing pugs, this is the
news as it has never been seen
before. Featuring amusing animal
clips presented as news stories.
6.30 Richard Hammond’s Secret
Service Richard Hammond hosts a
hidden camera show in which he is
hired by members of the public to pull
pranks on their friends and family.
7.10 Britain’s Brightest
See highlights.
8.25 The National Lottery: In It To
Win It Dale Winton presents the quiz
show where five contestants
compete to be in the right place at
the right time in a bid to win a lifechanging amount of money.
9.15 Casualty Four student nurses
receive a baptism of fire on their first
shift in the ED when a coach crash
means the team has to pull together
to save lives.
10.05 Mrs Brown’s Boys
Comedy series about a meddling
market stall holder. The family
celebrate the baptism of Dermot and
Maria’s triplets with a party.
10.35 BBC News
10.55 FILM: Pirates Of The
Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)
Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando
Bloom, Keira Knightley. In the final
instalment of the buccaneering
trilogy, Jack Sparrow is trapped in
Davy Jones’s Locker.
1.30am Weatherview 1.35 News

BBC2

ITV1

6.50am FILM: Sylvia Scarlett (1935)
8.15 FILM: The Little Minister (1934)
10.00 A History Of Britain By Simon
Schama 11.00 Meet The Ancestors
11.30 Map Man
12.00pm Indian Food Made Easy
12.30 Talking Pictures
1.15 FILM: Of Human Bondage (1934)
2.35 EastEnders
4.00 Great British Food Revival
4.30 Darts: World Championships
5.30 The Choir: A Year With The
Military Wives

6.30 Flog It! Experts Mark Stacey
and Kate Bliss find some gems in St
Albans, while presenter Paul Martin
visits the Cathedral to get to the root
of the city’s name.
7.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime
sitcom. Captain Mainwaring and his
platoon are instructed to guard a
captive U-boat crew.
8.00 Stanley Baxter: The Many
Faces Of Celebrating the
extraordinary career of entertainer
Stanley Baxter, whose shows
captivated huge audiences for twenty
years before the cost of his epics
priced him off our screens.
9.00 QI XL Stephen Fry comes over
all indecisive. With Phill Jupitus, Rich
Hall, Jimmy Carr and Alan Davies.
9.45 FILM: Cemetery Junction
(2010) Starring Christian Cooke,
Felicity Jones, Tom Hughes, Ricky
Gervais, Stephen Merchant, Matthew
Goode, Ralph Fiennes, Jack Doolan.
Comedy drama set in 1970s Reading.
Yearning to escape his working-class
background, Freddie Taylor gets a new
job and falls in love, while drifting
apart from his lifelong friends.
11.15 Darts: World
Championships – Highlights
Colin Murray introduces highlights
from the opening day’s play at the
Lakeside Country Club in Surrey.
12.05am Darts: World
Championships – Extra

7.15 Splash! See highlights.
8.45 Take Me Out Paddy
McGuinness returns for a fifth series
of the hilarious dating show,
introducing a brand new batch of
single girls to a succession of single
guys. Who will make it to the Isle of
Fernandos? Descending the love lift
tonight are surfer Ben from
Bournemouth, London entrepreneur
Param, handsome abseiler Adam
from Liverpool, and Jason, a pilot
from Ayrshire. Would you keep your
light on for these lads?
9.45 The Jonathan Ross Show
Jonathan Ross returns with a new
series and welcomes Hollywood star
Jeremy Piven, top comedian Sarah
Millican, and ex-Doctor Who star
David Tennant. He’s done other stuff
too y’know. He was in that Fright
Night remake, played a single dad in
a hard-hitting TV drama – but yes,
he’s now a favourite Doctor Who.
Live with it David.
10.45 ITV News; Weather
11.00 FA Cup Highlights
Matt Smith presents highlights from
the day’s FA Cup third round matches
as Premier League clubs enter the
competition and try to avoid being
victims of the giant killers. Matches
include West Ham v Manchester
United, Brighton v Newcastle and
Southampton v Chelsea.
12.30am The Store 2.30 Pushing
Daisies 3.15 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The
Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00
International Volleyball 8.00 The
Morning Line 9.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves
Raymond 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier
11.00 Undercover Boss USA
12.00pm The Big Bang Theory
12.30 The Big Bang Theory
12.55 The Simpsons
1.30 Channel 4 Racing
4.00 Come Dine With Me
4.35 Come Dine With Me
5.05 Come Dine With Me
5.40 Come Dine With Me
6.10 Channel 4 News
6.40 4thought.tv
6.45 Is Our Weather Getting
Worse? For hundreds of years
humanity has been documenting,
recording and obsessing about the
weather, and 2012 was a particularly
eventful year. With the use of archive
footage, expert interviews and cutting
edge graphics, this film reconstructs
the most violent weather events of the
past decade and asks if there is more
extreme weather to come in the future.
7.40 FILM: The Day After
Tomorrow (2004) Starring Dennis
Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy
Rossum, Dash Mihok. Sci-fi drama
following the efforts of a
climatologist on a mission to save the
world from an immediate threat of
global warming while also trying to
reach his son in New York before the
city is taken over by a new ice age.
10.00 FILM: Inglourious Basterds
(2009) Starring Brad Pitt, Christoph
Waltz, Diane Kruger, Melanie Laurent,
Eli Roth, Michael Fassbender. World
War II thriller set in Nazi-occupied
France, where a US lieutenant leads
the Basterds, a notorious gang of
cutthroat Jewish soldiers, in a brutal
vendetta mission against the Nazis.
1.00am FILM: Hard Eight (1997)
2.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus
4.45 Smallville 5.25 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television
8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top
Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25
Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear
9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom
9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.25
Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly
Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Super
Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave
And The Bold 11.10 Inside Hollywood
11.15 Celebrity Big Brother
12.15pm The All New Gadget Show
1.15 FILM: Shattered Silence (2012)
3.00 FILM: The Dam Busters (1954)
5.30 FILM: Random Hearts (1999)
7.50 5 News
7.55 NCIS Drama series. The murder
of a petty officer is linked to another
death and the director’s decision to
break up Gibbs’s team. Gibbs and
the director work together to
unravel the mystery.
8.50 NCIS Drama series. Tony
investigates a sailor who may have
jumped overboard and asks Gibbs to
inform the widow. When they find she
was murdered, the entire team is called
on to determine what really happened.
9.45 Celebrity Big Brother
Catch up with the latest goings on
inside the house.
10.45 50 Shocking Facts About
Diet And Exercise Part one of a
two-part countdown show looking at
the shocking truth behind what
people eat and the often dangerous
and misguided methods adopted in
order to lose weight. Scientists,
industry experts and exponents
discuss the pros and cons of fad
diets, ‘healthy’ foods and extreme
exercise regimes.
11.45 Forensic Files
Documentary series.
12.15am SuperCasino
4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge
4.25 The Great Artists
4.50 Rough Guide To Activity Holidays
5.05 Hana’s Helpline
5.15 The Milkshake! Show
5.40 Thomas & Friends
5.50 Roary The Racing Car

7.00pm Lost Land Of The
Tiger 8.00 A History Of Art
In Three Colours 9.00
Borgen. See highlights.
10.00 Borgen 11.00 The
Richest Songs In The
World 12.30am The Joy Of
Disco 1.30 Sounds Of The
70s 2: Arthouse Glam –
Get In The Swing 2.00
Fifties British War Films:
Days Of Glory s

sunday 6
Dancing On Ice
ITV1, 6.15pm
The new batch of celebs who
might just slice something non
vital while attempting to look
graceful has been released, and
tonight is the starting blocks from
which they glide off and into the
competition. Phillip Schofield and
Christine Bleakley present
proceedings, and you can bet all
eyes will be on Pamela Anderson.

Mr Selfridge
ITV1, 9pm
This new drama series stars
Jeremy Piven as the man that
coined the phrase “the customer
is always right”. Arriving in
London from Chicago in 1908 he
determines to open the finest
department store in the world
within just one year. No one said
he wasn’t ambitious. But his path
is not a smooth one.

Doris Day: Virgin Territory
BBC4, 9pm
Michael Brandon narrates this
profile of the much underrated
but hugely successful actress
and singer Doris Day. From her
early career as a band singer,
through her troubled private life,
this documentary re-evaluates
her place in movie history. With
contributors including James
Garner and Richard Carpenter.

6.35 BBC News
6.50 South East Today
7.00 Countryfile Adam Henson takes
a look at our favourite four-legged
friends in the countryside – horses
and dogs.
8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona
Bruce and the team travel to the
newly restored Stowe House in
Buckinghamshire, once one of the
grandest houses in the country.
9.00 Ripper Street Crime drama set
in Victorian London. A beloved toy
maker is beaten to death for a
mysterious brass box and the coins in
his pocket. The Whitechapel Vigilance
Committee presents a 14-year-old
culprit who refuses to deny the
charge, leading Reid into the savage
world of merciless child gangs.
10.00 BBC News
10.15 South East Today
10.25 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003)
Starring Jim Carrey, Morgan
Freeman, Jennifer Aniston. Comedy
in which a TV reporter blames God
for the worst day of his life, not
expecting him to then bestow his
divine powers upon him to see if he
could do a better job.
12.00am The Sky At Night
12.20 The Celebrity Apprentice USA
1.40 Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone:
Miniature Britain 2.45 Holby City 3.45
MasterChef: The Professionals 4.15
You’ve Been Scammed 4.45 News

6.30 Blackpool: Big Night Out
Exploring Blackpool’s history.
7.30 Fawlty Towers Classic sitcom.
Havoc ensues when a public health
inspector threatens to close the hotel.
8.00 Neil Armstrong – First Man
On The Moon Biopic of Neil
Armstrong, the first man on the
moon. Drawing on unbroadcasted
archive material and interviews with
those closest to him.
9.00 Tankies: Tank Heroes Of
WWII In the first of this two part
special, historian and former tank
commander Mark Urban tells the
story of six remarkable men from the
Fifth Royal Tank Regiment across
World War II.
10.00 Speed Dreams: The Fastest
Place On Earth Bill Nighy narrates a
story about how every year thousands
of petrol heads descend upon a dried
up salt lake bed in Bonneville, Utah.
Men from all over the world come to
this truly unique setting with their
bespoke vehicles – they all have just
one plan, to drive them as fast as
they can and hopefully join an elite
group: the fastest men on earth.
11.00 Darts: World
Championships – Highlights
Colin Murray presents highlights from
the 2013 Lakeside World Professional
Darts Championships.
11.50 Darts: World
Championships – Extra
1.50am BBC News

ITV1

6.00 – 7.05am Children’s television
7.05 Fleabag Monkeyface
7.15 Fleabag Monkeyface
7.30 Fleabag Monkeyface
7.40 Matt Hatter Chronicles
8.05 Rated A For Awesome 8.15
Rated A For Awesome 8.30 Big Time
Rush 9.00 The Aquabats! Super
Show! 9.25 FA Cup Highlights
10.40 Dinner Date 11.45 May The
Best House Win 12.45pm Rosemary
And Thyme 1.45 ITV News & Weather
1.55 Columbo: Short Fuse 3.30 FA Cup
4th Round Draw Live 3.45 Midsomer
Murders 5.45 Meridian News
6.00 ITV News; Weather
6.15 Dancing On Ice See highlights.
7.45 All Star Family Fortunes
Vernon Kay presents the first episode
of a brand new series. In a soap
special, Mikey North, who plays Gary
Windass in Coronation Street, and his
family take on Emmerdale’s Matthew
Wolfenden and his clan in an attempt
to win up to £30,000 for the charity of
their choice.
8.30 Dancing On Ice: The Skate
Off Who will be the first two couples
to face this year’s first skate off? For
one unlucky pair the competition will
be over before it has hardly started.
9.00 Mr Selfridge See highlights.
10.30 ITV News; Weather
10.45 FA Cup Highlights The big
clubs face a hungry horde of lower
league teams out to write their names
in the tournament’s folklore. Arsenal
take on Swansea at the Liberty
Stadium, and while the Swans can
not be considered minnows, 10-time
winners Arsenal will be especially
wary of Michael Laudrup’s side.
Presented by Matt Smith with expert
analysis from Gordon Strachan.
11.45 Royal Babies Following the
announcement from Kate and William,
this programme takes a look at royal
pregnancies, births and babies.
12.40am The Store
2.40 Pushing Daisies
3.25 ITV Nightscreen

6.25 Channel 4 News
6.55 4thought.tv
7.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show in which amateur
chefs compete for the title of
ultimate dinner party host. Financial
advisor Joey Perez, zumba-loving
Jacki De Sanders, scifi fan Tom Evans
and hotel inspector Lisa Groom battle
for first prize in Wrexham.
8.00 The Hotel Documentary series
revealing behind-the-scenes life in
the hotel industry. Hotel manager
Mark wants the Grosvenor to appeal
to upmarket guests and seeks the
help of a former AA Chief Hotel
Inspector, who books in undercover
and is far from impressed.
9.00 FILM: The Iron Lady (2011)
Starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent
and Susan Brown. Biopic based on
the life of former Prime Minister
Margaret Thatcher. The film follows
Thatcher’s rise from modest
beginnings to her role as the UK’s
first female leader and finally her
later years, which were largely spent
outside public scrutiny.
11.05 FILM: The Wedding Date
(2005) Starring Debra Messing,
Dermot Mulroney, Jack Davenport,
Amy Adams. Romantic comedy.
12.40am FILM: Venus (2006)
2.15 Jennifer Saunders: Laughing At
The 90s 4.05 Smallville
4.45 Deal Or No Deal
5.40 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard

6.20 5 News Weekend National
and international news.
6.25 FILM: X2 (2003) Starring Patrick
Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen,
Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Brian Cox,
Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn and
James Marsden. Marvel Comics
superhero sequel. A mutant attack on
the President leads the dangerous
General Stryker to target the X-Men.
Forced to team up with their archenemy Magneto, the X-Men find
themselves in more danger than ever.
And Logan, aka Wolverine, goes in
search of his past.
9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Catch up
with the latest goings o.
10.00 Most Shocking Celebrity
Moments 2012 This special
programme takes a light-hearted look
at the 50 most outrageous
occurrences in the world of the rich
and famous this year.
12.50am SuperCasino Live
interactive gaming featuring roulette,
blackjack and autowheel. For more
information and to register visit
www.SuperCasino.com.
3.55 House Doctor Highlights from
the home improvement series
presented by Californian interior
designer Ann Maurice.
4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Rough Guide
To Short Breaks 5.00 Hana’s Helpline
5.15 The Milkshake! Show
5.35 Thomas & Friends
5.50 Roary The Racing Car

7.00pm Great Movie
Mistakes: May The Fourth
Be With You 9.00 FILM:
Alice In Wonderland (2010)
10.40 Family Guy (x4)
12.05am Russell Howard’s
Good News 12.35 Olympics
2012: 50 Greatest
Moments 1.35 Live At The
Electric (x2) 2.35 Russell
Howard’s Good News 3.00
Being Human

7.00pm Britain On Film
7.30 Britain On Film 8.00
How To Write A Mills And
Boon: Timeshift 9.00 Doris
Day: Virgin Territory. See
highlights. 10.00 FILM: I
Am Love (2009) 11.55 Top
Of The Pops: The Story Of
1978 12.45am Top Of The
Pops: 1978 - Big Hits 1.45
Doris Day: Virgin Territory
2.45 Britain On Film

11.40am FILM: Free Willy
3: The Rescue (1997)
1.25pm You’ve Been
Framed! 2.30 Take Me Out
3.35 Take Me Out: The
Gossip 4.20 FILM: King
Kong (2005) 8.00 You’ve
Been Framed! 9.00 The
Magaluf Weekender 10.00
FILM: I Now Pronounce You
Chuck And Larry (2007)
12.20am 30 Years Of CITV

3.10pm Made In Chelsea
End Of Season Party 4.15
FILM: Alvin And The
Chipmunks 2: The
Squeakquel (2009) 6.00
Rules Of Engagement (x2)
7.00 The Big Bang Theory
(x2) 8.00 FILM: Cheaper By
The Dozen 2 (2005) 10.00
The 50 Funniest Moments
Of 2012 12.05am Made In
Chelsea Season Party

monday 7
Miranda
BBC1, 9pm
The new series continues with
Miranda determined to prove to
herself and to her friends that
she can be a grown up. No,
really. And what could be more
grown up than looking after
people who aren’t i.e: a toddler?
The thing is, the soft play centre
looks like so much fun. It’s the
thin end of the wedge, Miranda.

Shane Lynch: Dyslexia
(My Secret Past)
Channel Five, 10pm
Former Boyzone member turned
actor and more opens up about
something that he’s kept a secret
but has caused him problems
and embarrassment throughout
his life. On a journey of discovery,
and education, Shane finds out
more about how his dyslexia
shaped him.

Spartacus: Vengeance
Sky1, 10pm
Blood and glory abound in this
award-winning but unflinchingly
violent drama series about the
legendary gladiator and leader of
the slaves. Glaber and his troops
are sent to Capua with one
objective – to crush the band of
freed slaves. And Spartacus must
choose between his cause and
his revenge.

sport

¸ terrestrial
BBC1

6.00am Breakfast
9.15 Wanted Down Under
10.00 Homes Under The Hammer
11.00 Rip Off Britain: Holidays
11.45 Cowboy Trap
12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News At One
1.30 South East Today
1.45 Doctors
2.15 Privates
3.00 Escape To The Country
3.45 Perfection
4.30 Antiques Road Trip
5.15 Pointless
6.00 BBC News At Six
6.30 South East Today
7.00 The One Show
7.30 Inside Out A look at the
scheme to get drinkers off the
streets. Plus, is chugging a good way
to give to charity or just harassment?
8.00 EastEnders The fallout
continues in Albert Square.
8.30 Rip Off Britain Consumer
champions Angela Rippon, Gloria
Hunniford and Julia Somerville battle
on behalf of viewers.
9.00 Miranda See highlights.
9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Sitcom.
Agnes is disappointed with Cathy
when she decides to get a boob job
to impress her boyfriend.
10.00 BBC News At Ten
10.25 South East Today
10.35 Have I Got Old News For
You Another chance to see the prizewinning comedy quiz show.
11.05 Room 101 – Extra Storage
Extended edition. Frank Skinner hosts
with guests John Craven, Miranda
Hart and Reggie Yates.
11.45 The Graham Norton Show
Graham is joined by singing star Josh
Groban, actress Billie Piper, and top
comedian Frank Skinner.
12.35am The Celebrity Apprentice
USA 2.00 Weatherview 2.05 Sign
Zone: Barenboim On Beethoven: Nine
Symphonies That Changed The World
3.35 MasterChef: The Professionals
4.35 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.
6.30 Great British Railway
Journeys Michael Portillo takes to
the tracks with his copy of
Bradshaw’s Victorian railway
guidebook, travelling the length and
breadth of the British Isles to see
what of Bradshaw’s World remains.
7.00 Heir Hunters Series following
the work of probate researchers.
8.00 University Challenge In
another second-round match,
Magdalen College Oxford plays the
University of Manchester for a place
in the quarter-finals.
8.30 The Battle For Malta
Historian James Holland looks at the
World War Two battle for the tiny
Mediterranean island of Malta, one
of the most vicious and violent
episodes of the war.
9.30 The Polar Bear Family And
Me Wildlife cameraman Gordon
Buchanan follows a wild polar bear
family over three seasons, something
no one has done before.
10.30 Newsnight
11.20 Darts: World
Championships – Highlights Colin
Murray introduces highlights from the
night’s matches.
12.10am American Football: NFL
Play-offs 1.10 Darts: World
Championships - Extra 3.10 BBC News
4.00 The Science Of Space Dive
4.30 The Code 5.00 Little Stargazing
5.25 Stargazing Challenges

6.00 Meridian Tonight
6.30 ITV News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Seeing Jai’s
behaviour spiral, Nikhil is forced to
act to protect the business.
7.30 Coronation Street Jenna and
Sophie are caught in the act. Peter
and Nick come to blows.
8.00 Cornwall With Caroline
Quentin Caroline Quentin returns for
a second series as she travels around
the picturesque towns and villages of
Cornwall, meeting some of the
colourful characters who live and
work in the region.
8.30 Coronation Street Leanne has
a difficult decision to make. Kevin
thinks that Jenna is taking advantage.
Lewis’s vendetta becomes clear.
9.00 Lewis When Lewis and
Hathaway investigate the murder of
university psychologist Reuben
Beatty, it appears that he has been
injected with a powerful paralysing
agent. Crikey!
10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather
10.35 The World In Action Years A
look back at one of the most iconic
and important current affairs
programmes in television history.
Featuring clips from groundbreaking
programmes and interviews with
those that made them happen.
12.05am Monk 1.00 Jackpot247
3.00 River Monsters 3.50 The Jeremy
Kyle Show 4.45 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons
6.30 Hollyoaks Mercy wreaks havoc
when she jumps to the wrong
conclusion.
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.55 4thought.tv
8.00 Secrets Of Your Car
Insurance: Channel 4 Dispatches
Dispatches reveals the secrets of car
insurance. Harry Wallop investigates
claims that major insurers cash in
through maximising profits, lucrative
referral fees and rebate deals.
8.30 The Horse Hoarder
Documentary. Pensioner Clwyd
Davies harbours a compulsion to
hoard horses.
9.00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies he
Embarrassing Bodies take on the
nation’s biggest health problem –
obesity. This episode gets between
the sheets as the doctors discover
how obesity can ruin sex lives.
10.00 What Happens In Kavos
Documentary series following young
thrill-seeking Brits over a long
summer in Kavos, Corfu. There’ll be a
hoo-har when this gest out at work.
11.05 One Born Every Minute Flyon-the-wall documentary series.
12.10am Random Acts 12.15
Secrets Of A Good Marriage With
Sharon Horgan 1.10 How To Be A
Good Mother With Sharon Horgan
2.05 The Promise 3.30 Supersize Vs
Superskinny 4.25 Supernanny US
5.05 Deal Or No Deal

7.00pm BBC World News
7.30 Great British Railway
Journeys 8.00 Art Deco
Icons 8.30 Only Connect
9.00 Baby Makers: The
Fertility Clinic 10.00
Rosslyn Chapel: A Treasure
In Stone 11.00 The Viking
Sagas 12.00am When God
Spoke English: The Making
Of The King James Bible
1.00 Only Connect

2.30pm The Real Knights
Of The Round Table: A
Time Team Special 3.35
Grand Designs Australia
4.40 A Place In The Sun
5.45 A Place By The Sea
6.50 Come Dine With Me
7.55 Grand Designs (x2)
10.00 Living With My
Stalker 11.05 Embarrassing
Bodies 12.05am Come
Dine With Me