“There has never been a kid who didn’t believe vaguely but insistently that he would be stricken blind before he reached 21, and then they’d be sorry.”

“It… It ’twas… soap poisoning!”

“BB gun mani gets no loyalty.”

“My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.”

“The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!”

“Round One was over. heh heh. Parents one, kids, zip. I can feel the Christmas noose beginning to tighten. Maybe, what happened next, was inevitable”

Once again, TBS will broadcast A Christmas Story for 24 hours from Christmas Eve at 8:00 pm through Christmas Day. How many times are you going to watch A Christmas Story this year?