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Re: w/c 13th

Pauly, sounds grand. i feel my very best when eating beef and lamb but as Lav mentioned the prices have me on the po boy diet of
chicken and whatnot. The price of ALL real food is insane. boo!

Had a lovely workout last night, then Refuge Recovery meet and meditation. Really getting a lot from this group and so glad I decided to
give them a serious go.

Pauly you have pizza poisoning... that's why you can't wake up hope you feel better hon.

Pie, you must be relieved on the property closing...nice.

Sam, sad thing about Vegas is not much in the way of birds. sad for a photographer.

Lav, thanks for the note on SK. I'm just off the phone helping my dad with his confuser. Also I'm setting up a fire 8" tablet for my grandma to use for when
she comes over. She's coming over to live with my uncle so it will be awesome to have her here full time.

chicken curry in the works... 2 more trays of microgreens planted... all systems 'check'.

Re: w/c 13th

MAE ALL....

Lav...now I'm feeling guilty that we have no snow! Thanks for taking that on! Another Alberta Clipper heading down from the north so our temps will be dropping drastically, but only for a couple of days. Chinook back again for the weekend. They are predicting some snow I'll let you know what we end up with.

Mick...did you actually run to your appointment with the back man? I'm glad you made it home safe and sound and with groceries to boot! I have a series of tv shows that I watch when I want to not when they're scheduled. All the premieres started last week!!!

Pauly...we are allowed to sign up, free of charge, for any program that's offered at work. So I'm taking a 4 week program called Food, Mood & Energy. First class today she explained she'd be dealing with how your gut and brain react to food. Thought of you & Det. LOL I'll let you know if I have an epiphany about what you guys have been talking about. We had fish & chips for supper tonight.

Re: w/c 13th

Good evening Abbers,

Grateful to have my guardian angel on duty - I took a spill in the living room, went down hard & banged the back of my head on the hardwood floor. Sh*t, all I could think of was another skull fracture like the one I had 18 years ago
Fortunately my head is OK, so is the table & lamp I knocked over, haha! We have one of those vacuum systems where you just plug the hose into the wall (all the dirt goes down pipes into a big collection container in the basement). I had just finished vacuuming & went to reach down to pull the hose out of the wall socket & apparently stepped on the hose, which threw me off balance & I went down like a ton of bricks! The back of my head is sore but no real lump, lucky me. My foot hurts for some reason. Feel like an idiot but a lucky idiot, could have been worse. So that's it, I'm swearing off cleaning my house from now on

Mick, sounds like you got some good exercise today.
If I had to walk 8 miles to the nearest store & 8 miles back carrying groceries I would choose to starve. ha ha. There are no sidewalks around here either so I would probably get run over by a truck or a horse &buggy, haha

Pauly, high fat meals make me sleepy & give me gall bladder attacks, not fun. I hope you metabolized all that pizza, LOL

Det, that's great you have a grandma moving in, good for the both of you.
Does she like to cook too? I found good priced fresh 6 lb. whole chickens at Costco last time we were there & found out that they cook to perfection in the Instant Pot in 36 minutes!!! That barely gives you time to make a few side dishes

Sam, my bird feeder is as busy as ever. It also attracts all the neighborhood squirrels & racoons too unfortunately.

PQ, it barely went above freezing today but we did have a very sunny day so we had some melting. It's only 18 degrees right now, chilly!!!
More snow due Thursday then again Saturday & Sunday, ugh.
Enjoy the free course, sounds interesting.

Hello to SK, Cyn!

Pie, did you find the money?? We all want to know!!

Heading out to meet my friends for lunch tomorrow. Glad we picked a day without a snowstorm, geez.
Have a nice night everyone!

Re: w/c 13th

Oh Lav! I'm glad you're OK,sounds awful actually I had mostly salad at the place so I don't think it's pizza poisoning haha,PQ,we had green peppers stuffed with meatballs and provolone for dinner hope you ger some rest,see you all on the flipside

Re: w/c 13th

mae all how are we today then? all goo I hope ...today is a waiting game ...waiting for amazon ,waiting for phone calls ..Bought a new fit bit last night ...a fit bit zip ...the original one that came out ...time distance steps cals etc ..it seems like folk are going back to the original stand alone ones with a battery as opposed to the ones that need charging off a computer ...they are hard to get hold of now ..I could have got one out of the states but the import tax and postage comes to the same price as the fit bit itself .
quite chuffed ..Ive lost 8.4 lbs in 18 days .rabbitsd are out playing ..did a bit of tidying up in the garden first thing ..curt the thefuschia bushes back and cleaned and pulled some weeds etc ..including a nettle ..not clever ..

ok letsav a brew ....

hiya Sam ..how are you doing mate?all is well I hope ...is the snow still there ?

hiya Pie ..how are you then ..hows the puzzle going is it the Ravensburger jigsaw puzzle ?...I used to love doing them..have a great day.

hiya Lav...hope you are ok? no ill effects? jeez the lengths some folk will go to get outta cleaning ...yes yesterday was a walking day ..I actually enjoyed it but there again Im a bit nutso ...18 degrees ? thats sunbathing weather..you take it easy ...no cleaning ...leave that for the gkidz

hiya pauly ..you ok ?hows work doing for you ? has it calmed down or is it still a pot of kerap..too much salad is bad for you too ..you needto balance it up...a plate of fries ..on a lettuce leaf .....

hiya det ...looks like you are on track again ...good for you ..ffs dont throw a grenade in it all again...its timeto get off that treadmill mr hamster ...next timd..front it up and take it on mate ..you can ..especially with gran there ..

hiya ppqp ...hows you ...yes I did run to the back man ,then last night to Julies dads to give him tea..was going to run to aswimming this morning but I need to wait for all the phone calls and amazon stuff ...you watch ...nothing will happen now ...No snow ..by this time you are usually up to your neck in it ..

hiya sk ...you ok?and likewise tee gee ..

Duck walks into a shop and says
"got any bread?"
The shopkeeper replies certainly this is a bakery after all what type of bread would you like"
The duck says "I've well fcked this joke up haven't I ?".

If I ever get a job in a church as a spiritual guidance leader, I'm going to tell them my surname is Parcel.

Pastor Parcel.

I came across this bloke trout fishing.
"How do you know there are any fish in there?" I asked.
"Little eddies in the water," he replied.
"What, and he tells you?"

There's a big basket in my local Lidl where you're supposed to donate food for food banks.
Never used it. Never been able to find anything in the shop that qualifies as food.

A Scotsman limps onto a tennis court....

I went round to my mates to find him stood besides a pile of twigs and leaves. I asked him what he was doing. He said he'd been trying a bit of topiary and was sculpting an Ostrich in mid flight. I said Ostriches didn't fly. He said I fckin know that now.

The results of the 2nd Scottish referendum are in.

100% agree that Andy Murray should be battered

How to Dump a Man

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Check those that apply...

___Your last name is objectionable.
I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable.
It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date
has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload"
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___You failed the 20 Question Rule
i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your constant e-mailing
shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short.
Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned
reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___The phrase "My Mother"
has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I still enjoy the X-Files,
I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend
lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet
is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight.
If you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful
business trip.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,

Cruella de Ville

Ma and Pa Were Two Hillbillies Living out on a Farm Up in the Hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.

Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate."

So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."

The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."

Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.

All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. Then, WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.

Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right?"

As she pulls up her panties she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!"

Some More Puns and Wise Words

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone, it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7

CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

Re: w/c 13th

morning all
nice brisk morning, getting ready to get out and feed critters. Mick, like the out house joke!
Lav, hope you're not too sore this morning..... I get it, been doing some swan dives myself lately. take care!!

Re: w/c 13th

Mae everybody,Sam no more swan dives for you or Lav! Haha,Mick,work is OK,the new lady they hired seems OK to me,the only problem is a couple of the older ladies seem kind of jealous of her or something,I'm glad I don't work with them much cuz I'm a morning shift and they're afternoon/evening shift,made Romeo some cupcakes for his birthday tomorrow,I guess they're having a parry for him and his cousin on Sunday cuz they're both turning 1, I'm gonna throw a tiny party for just us tomorrow though since it's his "real" birthday,he likes Elmo so thats my theme for him,PQ,its Parmesan crusted chicken breasts and macaroni and cheese for tonight need something else for sleep,this unisom makes me groggy for hours after I wake up and you're not supposed to use it everyday anyways but shit,,,I've gotta sleep or I'm a super wreck,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Tuesday!

Re: w/c 13th

hidy ho ABeroooodles near and far!

Mick, well done on the fitness goals! I'm doing well in the gym myself and enjoying feeling sore. So what's with these fitbits anyway...
does it phone help if yer having a heart attack or something? I'm really not up on trendy stuff which is weird for a gadget guy like myself.

Lav, yer not stupid at all but you are truly lucky... owie! apparently your bone density isn't too bad! Ok, I'm going to have to get a darned
instant pot. My Aunt is even raving about hers and apparently you can make real homemade yogurt in them. That's tipped it for me... soon
as I get my ass moved into a house (soon) I'm getting one. now which one..... suggestions?

Pauly, enjoying the rare Vegas rain? it's lovely for sure. I'm taking both lithium orotate and melatonin and finding the combo to be very effective for
sleep. Sounding yummy over there! I just made a pot of creamy squash/coconut curry soup. Perfect day for it.

SK, so nice to see your post

on the edge of my seat as always for a freaking job to go 'official' any day now... I can feel it....

Re: w/c 13th

MAE ALL...

Lav...I'm glad you're ok. My SIL has one of those wall vacuums and quite frankly I think they're more trouble than they're worth. There was a bit of sun in the morning and then a winter sky rolled in. By 5pm it was foggy and cold outside. They're calling for snow starting tomorrow.

Mick...did the waiting game pan out? Sometimes I wish they'd just leave well enough alone, why does everything have to be upgraded!! Good job on the weight loss!

Sam...no more swan dives! We all have to take extra care of ourselves.

Pauly...how sweet to make Romeo cupcakes and celebrate his day on his day. A year already, where does the time go! I couldn't face the grocery store or the thought of cooking so it was linguine and alfredo sauce for supper tonight. Seems like everyone else had the same idea, the restaurant was full of people picking up orders.

SK...no didn't see the transformation of the house, I'll have to google it.