FAO mrshopeful

Hey hon,I saw in another post you've been having a rubbishy day. Just wanted to send a big hug your way. It's totally understandable that you are feeling the way you do with all the news you've had recently hon. It's great that you are able to cope most of the time (more than I can say!!!), but we all need to let go at some point at face up to how hard things are and how we're feeling.....it's nothing to be ashamed of or to feel bad about. I'm sure having a good cry and talking to your Oh about how you're feeling will help you and you'll be back feeling positive in no time. In the meantime, moan away!!!!!!!!!!! xxx

Oh TBD, you're so sweet!! Thank you for thinking of me! I have been feeling rubbish, you're right, for the last week or so. However, have had a lovely night tonight (even if I have had too many drinks - oops!). Friends of ours took us out for the night with a gorgeous curry cos we looked after their kids (teenagers) last weekend while they were away and we've had a scream. It's great to take your mind of things. I feel bad for having WAY too much to drink, but, SOD IT!!! Sometimes it just has to be done.

Thank you so much for giving me a FAO cos it really means a lot. The friends I have told about this (few) and my family are all very sympathetic and empathetic but no-one really knows how it feels but you girls so you are all a God send to me.

Hey MrsH, really pleased you had a nice evening, hope your weekend continued in the same way!! Don't worry about the drinking hon, you need to do that every now and again and who knows what it will lead to.....! I know what you mean about the ladies on here being a god-send. We haven't spoken to anyone about what we're going through so I really am so grateful I can talk on here. Take care hon xx

Hey Mrs H, just wanted to say I noticed you were feeling down in your other post and wanted to send you a big hug too. Don't worry at all about having a few drinks, I have really started to relax about that else I will drive myself crazy! Sometimes it's so nice to just relax and forget about ttc for a while. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and just let my hair down and really enjoyed myself and I remember thinking, 'this is what our life was like before ttc' and it really did me the world of good.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and we will get there. But we need to enjoy ourselves a little along the way too.

Thanks ladies. I must admit, I had nothing to drink on Saturday and then went for it again yesterday! Not on purpose, just ended up meeting up with some friends for lunch and didn't leave the pub til 7pm. Oops! Again!! I know that all the evidence suggests it's bad but Jeremy Kyle surely wouldn't exist if it weren't for drunk pregnancies?!!!

I've just signed myself up for a Cardio Combat class starting Wednesday to at least try and get in a bit of shape and lose a little weight and have left a message for a reflexologist so hope that together that will help me on my way and somehhow cancel out the weekend of binge drinking!

Exactly! The amount of friends I have that got pg whilst drinking or got drunk before they even knew and have gone on to have healthy pregnancies and babies is also testament to the fact that you don't have to totally abstain while ttc. I was technically on the 2ww on holiday, although I am not OVing so little chance, and I drank every night! I never got really drunk, but it was that lovely holiday drinking where you sit outside and sip away at your wine or your gin & tonic for most of the evening!!

Cardio combat sounds very energetic! I love to run and have just gone back to it after a two week break so I ache a little today but it does give you so much PMA. Reflexology is also very relaxing, although I have swapped it for acupuncture at the moment. All the good things we are doing for our bodies, I am sure a little booze won't hurt. Plus, I keep reading how good red wine is for sufferers of PCOS which is me! I am sure they don't mean the whole bottle though!!

After two and a half years ttc I am fairly sure that it's not the booze that is stopping us!!!!

I am certainly not advocating heavy drinking when you are ttc but I sometimes find it is the only way I can totally take my mind of ttc!!! I never drink at home so it's a social thing for me but boy, do I need it sometimes!

I don't know why I am trying to justify myself. I'm sure all you girls know exactly how it is!!

I would try acupuncture, Sarah, but I am TERRIFIED of needles! And Combat Cardio sounds horrific to me! It's all based on kick boxing although no real contact with anyone but using weights and things! I think I'm going to die!

You don't need to justify yourself at all Mrs H, we have all been there. Anything that can take your mind off this rollercoaster ride, even for an instant, is the best medicine you can take.

Good luck with the cardio combat classes! It does sound intense but I bet you will feel great after it! And think of all that stress you can get out by punching the air!! Might try it myself!!

I love acupuncture. I wouldn't be a big fan of needles but they're not like real needles, they are so very thin. I was nervous the first time but the sensation it gives you is so positive that I was hooked! I really look forward to all my sessions now!

Where are you currently in the cycle of things? I'm waiting for AF to arrive and like a true b*tch she is keeping me waiting. My first month of clomid is just sitting in the cupboard looking at me and I can't do anything about it until the witch shows up! Grrrrrr!!!

I'm on CD22 but I have regular cycles of 27-28 days every month. I only have one ovary so although I have regular cycles no-one knows for sure whether I actually ov every month - they'd have to do follicle tracking for that.

Sorry to hear AF is being a witch to you. You can't bloody win with her, can you? When you do want her she won't show up and when you don't she will!!!!

I'm sure she'll arrive when she's good and ready and then onto Clomid it is for you. I hope that it is the miracle drug for you that everyone talks about.

I see you joined BE about the same time as me too so I guess we've both been through the mill a bit. Let's hope that's an omen and we go through to pregnancy at the same time too!!

I just noticed that too! Within a week of each other! I took a long break around the 12 month mark as so many people I had 'befriended' had gone onto the pregnancy forum and I really felt like I was left behind. But now I'm back on LTTTC and I'm really grateful for all the support. Let's hope that is a good omen for us!! My cycles are usually around 40 days but I'm on CD45 now so who knows where the witch is. I am hoping clomid is the wonder drug I have heard about but part of me is also steeling myself for potential disappointment. I guess with this rollercoaster you try and do that just to keep yourself sane.

My friend only has one ovary as she had the other removed at about 18 years old I think. She's due in October and funnily enough wasn't even trying for a baby! Normal length cycles must be a positive sign though? Are they going to do follicle tracking for you? I really, really hope you get your BFP soon - 2 1/2 years is such a long time to be ttc. I'm approaching the 2 year mark and it actually feels better than hitting the 12 month mark. I guess I feel better knowing there is an issue and that I am about to begin treatment for it.

Hi Sarah, I know what you mean about hitting the two year mark versus the 12 month mark! I think once you've gone over twelve months, time just doesn't seem to mean anything any more. Before that you start panicking that you've got a problem, beyond that you know you have and kind of resign yourself to the fact that things aren't going to happen as you'd hoped. That's how I feel anyway.

I don't get excited anymore at the end of each cycle, I know what's coming! Although I am being naughty this month and hoping! I had a scan (I'm sure you'll remember from other posts) to check my kidneys (or kidney as it turns out!) and there was a ripe follicle so DH and I were bding like rabbits for the next few days. I am starting to get cramps now though so I know AF is on her way. I was just hoping against hope that it might have been our month because I SAW the egg about the be released. What else can you do??!!

Anyway, enough of the moaning. They are not going to do follicle tracking until I start IVF. Am being referred in November as the criteria changes in our PCT from December so I'll now be eligible from then. Fingers crossed we get there before then but I'm not holding out much hope! Two months is nothing compared with the two and half years we've been trying!!

Hope AF gets you and you can start on the Clomid and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that it works.

Where abouts are you in the World, Sarah? Do you get any other treatment after Clomid?

Ooh I do remember your post Mrs H! You can't ask for better than seeing the actual egg about to be released! Fingers crossed that you have done it this month and that the cramps are of the good kind!

I'm in the West Midlands and the docs have said about moving us on to IVF if the clomid doesn't work but I am not sure how I feel about that yet. I haven't looked at the available funding but so far I have been seen totally on the NHS so I guess I must be eligible for them to be mentioning it? Still DH and I had a long chat at the weekend and we have 6 months of clomid possibly with metformin too if the clomid doesn't work by itself and then we are going to take a little break if it doesn't work and do our research. You never know too, taking our finger off the pulse might result in a surprise BFP! I can but hope!!

Good luck this month sweetie. It is definitely not over till the witch appears! It just takes one cycle and you really do never know. I know that sounds stupid after you've been ttc for so long but it really is true!!

You've got a while then to think about your options if the Clomid doesn't work. But it WILL!!

I guess cos we've not had any treatment of any description, moving on to IVF might be a little easier for us to take. It will be our first go at any kind of assisted conception so I haven't had to go through other treatments that don't work.

Taking time out is always a good thing. Everyone tells you to relax (RELAX??!!!). Most of these people have never been through LTTTC and just can't understand how it engulfs your whole life.

I'm not sure what age you are but I'm 31 and by the time we start IVF I'll probably be 32 so I don't want to risk losing any time. Particularly as I would want more than one child (am I being greedy now??!) so will have to get a wriggle on.

I'm from the East Midlands originally but now just down the M40 from you on the Bucks/Oxon border.

One day we ought to make arrangements for a few of us to meet up for a coffee or something.

Ooh, not far from me at all then as I'm in Warwickshire! Oxford is only about 40 minutes so I am guessing you are High Wycombe way which would be a bit further. Definitely meeting up for coffee (or herbal tea!) would be a great idea!

I'm 30 next year and like you I always thought I would have at least two children. But at the moment I'd settle for one!! Both my DH & I are from large families so he wanted about 5 or 6 children! Hmmm... I don't think that is going to happen somehow!! Like you say, I do have some time and fingers crossed the clomid will work but if feels good to have talked about a back-up plan. It's like acknowledging that it might not work makes you feel less pressure - strange I know!!

Thanks for the AF dance, just had some very strange cm but think it's a sign she's coming!!

I totally agree with what you've both said about drinking....I have friends who gave up drinking when TTC but it only took them a month or two to conceive. When I reached the 6-8 month mark I realised I couldn't carry on not going out and having fun, it's just not a way to live, even though having a baby is my priority it can't come at any cost. As you say, there wouldn't be so many babies resulting from drunken one night stands if it really caused that much of a problem....

I also have to point out that you two put me to shame with all your exercise....I do NOTHING remotely exercise related, unless you count going for walks?? Yeah I guess that counts, but not particularly taxing! I'm going to start up yoga again soon though I think.....you have spurred me on.

I think having a meet up some time would be a great idea too.....although I get a bit worried about losing my anonymity (is that weird of me to be so worried about that??). But, would be so nice to put faces to the names.

MrsH, really hoping the cramps are for all the right reasons hon. It looks like we will definitely be needing IVF, but unfortunately I'm fairly sure we would have to wait about 3 or 4 yrs if we want it on the NHS so we have started saving.

Sarah, hope you can get on with the clomid soon hon (or AF stays away for the right reasons!!)

Walking totally counts TBD! I actually read somewhere that light running (which is what I do - jogging I suppose you would call it!) burns off roughly the same amount of calories as walking. It doesn't alter much more even though you are going at a faster pace. My DH trained for a half marathon last year and he is such a good runner, where as I just amble along. I might as well be walking!!

It looks like Oxford would be a good place to meet up! I know what you mean TBD, it's nice to keep your anonymity and I also feel you can say so much more because people on BE don't know you, but it would be great to put some faces to the names and share stories over a nice cup of coffee or glass of wine!!

Mrs H, how does the AF dance go?!! I must try it sometime! She's still not here but pretty sure she'll be coming soon. She just likes to keep me waiting!! How are you feeling today?

Oxford would not be too bad for me to get to ....probably a couple of hours from me. I agree with what you say about the anonymity sarah........ ooh if we do meet up MrsH can demonstrate her dance for us!!!! xx

I tell you what ladies, the AF dance wasn't half as embarrassing as Combat Cardio this morning!! What happened to all my coordination??!!! It was funny though. Went with a friend and we were just at the back of the hall making shapes all over the place! And OH MY GOD! Where did my tummy muscles run away too??!!

TBD, I really am rubbish at doing exercise so don't feel bad; this was my first class for a number of years. I do walk with my dog though so I hope that counts towards something!

Whereabouts in the South are you TBD?

Sarah, think AF will be getting me soon - maybe the dance worked on the wrong person! Think I had a very small spot this morning although she's not due til Sunday so it's difficult to say. Still got tummy cramps but now not sure whether they are to do with AF or Cardio Combat!!!

I also know what you mean about anonymity but I also find it quite hard not actually talking to anyone who knows how I feel. There is only so much you can get across on here, if you know what I mean.

Looking forward to a chin wag at some point. Let's try and make sure it's as easy as possible for everyone to get too. I'm more than happy for Oxford but it only takes me 25 minutes to get there so seems a little unfair.........

Did you incorporate the AF dance into Cardio Combat??!! I hope she hasn't got you sweetie, send her over to me quick smart. She's probably just playing with us all!

TBD, whereabouts are you? I'm from Portsmouth originally but I now live in Warwickshire. Oxford's about 40 minutes from me but anywhere along the South coast is handy enough. The great thing about living in the Midlands is you are pretty much anywhere within 2 hours!

Mrs H, you are right about having a good chat. I think it will give us renewed PMA. Although hopefully you won't need it and will be moving onto the pg forum very soon. I'll do the dance to make her come to me!!