THIS IS MY BLOG. AS A RULE YOU WILL SEE MANY JOKES AND PICTURES POSTED. I EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS. I HAVE THAT RIGHT STILL YET IN THIS NATION.
NEW RULES STARTING NOW ON THIS BLOG YOU MAY ATTACK ME. LEAVE ANY COMMENT YOU WANT DIRECTED AT ME. YOUR FREE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF. I WILL NOT DELETE IT.
HOWEVER IF YOU CROSS THE LINE AND ATTACK MY FAMILY IN A COMMENT I WILL DELETE THAT COMMENT. I HOPE THIS IS NOW UNDERSTOOD.
(Please accompany your Children while here this is still an adult humor blog)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Well He Ya Go

~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#1776 [if they had computers back then]

Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential thatwe complete this declaration of independence.

Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here.

Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on without you. Haseveryonehad a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday?

Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes replicationproblems.

Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy

Mr. Sherman: Thanks, Saaaaay, nice font.

Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just lastweek.

Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our documentwill soon leak out.

Mr. Franklin: That's all right, Thomas. We can manage. Here, borrow myquill pen....~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot.Butthe only words the parrot knows how to say are: "Who is it?" She takestheparrot home, but soon realizes that the bird's color clashes with thelivingroom. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come byshortly.When the Decorator comes, the woman is out shopping. He knocks on thedoor,and the parrot says "who is it?" The man says, "It's the decorator." Theparrot says "who is it?" The man says "It's the decorator." The parrotsays"Who is it?" The man says "It's the decorator!!!" The parrot says "whoisit?" The man screams "The decorator!" The decorator gets so mad, that hepops a blood vessel, and dies on the spot. The lady comes home and findsadead man lying on her front porch. She says, "Oh my gosh...who is it?"Theparrot replies, "It's the decorator!"

Your Daily Dose of Inspiration...

1. I can please only one person per day, today is not your day.Tomorrow isn't looking too good either.

2. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

3. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they makeas they go flying by.

4. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

5. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

6. Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

7. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got theguts to bite people themselves.

8. My Reality Check bounced.

9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

10. I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

11. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

12. There are two rules for ultimate success in life. 1. Never tell everything you know.

13. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

14. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along withoutit.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy andtaste good with ketchup.