Macy's, Estee Lauder Team Up To Break Completely Pointless World Record

Let’s face it — most world records are utterly pointless, no matter how impressed I am by someone who can pogo stick while balancing a bowl of sulfuric acid on his head. But department store Macy’s and makeup giant Estee Lauder teamed up yesterday for something truly inane — to set the record for most lipstick applications in an hour.

For those wondering, yes, there was an existing number for this record — 180 applications in one hour — that had belonged to Avon. For what it’s worth, the Macy’s/Estee team crushed that like an ant beneath its united feet, setting a new record of 303 applications.

Can you feel the enthusiasm?

The setting for the earth-shattering event was the Macy’s store in the Loop in Chicago — the same store that set a record for pissing off the most Chicago-area shoppers when it went from being the flagship Marshall Field’s store to just another Macy’s.

Those participating in the event, whether to be part of makeup history or just to score some free lipstick, queued up in lines that wrapped around the floor to await their 11 seconds of glory at the hands of Estee Lauder’s “Global Makeup Stylist” (seriously?) Rick DiCecca.

Says the man with one of the most ridiculous job titles ever, “I was very lucky. I had 303 sets of great lips… There are some beautiful mouths in Chicago.”

Along with the 303 pairs of lips, there were two officials from the Guinness Book of World Records on hand to make sure there was no chicanery involved.