Ha Ha Oh God, Michael Steele’s Secret Book Comes Out Today

Oh snap, Michael Steele’s new joint hits the streets today. Not that you haven’t had the bootleg since October (before it was even conceived, most likely). It is a creative approach, here, to equate your potential audience with alcoholics in need of a recovery itinerary. How are the literary tastemakers responding to this pre-ordained failure of ghostwritten propaganda? The three editorial critics at Amazon — Bill Bennett, Sean Hannity, and Mark Levin — seem to approve! Big Government, meanwhile, has posted an excerpt in which Steele praises his party for letting Arlen Specter switch sides and become the 60th Democratic vote. [Big Government]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

I like the way they cropped the top of his head off in the cover photo. Makes you feel like he’s right in the room (or like Stevie Wonder is holding the camera.)

snideinplainsight

None of the important stuff goes on up there anyway.

Hey, how does Van Halen feel about the title and all, anyway?

SmutBoffin

“With wit and insight, passion and judgment, Michael Steele points the way to a GOP comeback.”
— William J. Bennett

Michael is not really known for his ‘wit’, though that “cow on the tracks” thing might come close in a self-deprecating way.

glamourdammerung

Someone needs to fix the contrast on the cover picture of the Larry David book.

SayItWithWookies

The grassroots – activists from tea parties to town halls – have sent a message: now [sic] more ‘fake-it-until-you-make-it’ conservatives.

It only took him two sentences until his words conveyed the exact opposite of his meaning — which, for someone who started off trying to remake the RNC into a more inclusive party, is probably par for the course.

hedgehog

Is Michael any relation to Lexington Steele? I love Lex’s book “Right Now … and All Over Your Face.”

memzilla

“Don’t believe the pundits’ common refrain that the Republican Party has moved too far to the right. In reality, the problem is that we’ve been moving to the left.”

Oh PLEASE let them base their entire 2012 strategy on this premise. Because we need more schooling, for more students, for Morescience High School. And we’re not afraid of it, are we?

stew

Will Republicans actually buy a book with a black guy on the cover? I’m guessing we won’t exactly be seeing Palinesque sales figures (after the think tanks stop bulk purchases at least).

stew

[re=488752]SmutBoffin[/re]: Weren’t they worried Bennett would try to eat the book?

queeraselvis v 2.0

So it’s true. The GOP is in dire need of a twelve-step program. Might I suggest:

From the Comments section of the article: “…we would no more like a federal government interfering with states’ rights…”

Being a reThuglican, commenting on a book written by the GOP’s Resident Uncle Tom, and invoking the classic Faubus/Wallace euphemism for racial discrimination = TRIPLE IRONY WIN!

widestanceromancer

Refreshing honesty in that the subtitle makes no pretense about saving America’s soul or a new vision for conservatism; just defeating Obama, that’s it. [re=488747]snideinplainsight[/re]: his banjo is cropped off, too.

V572625694

[re=488763]mcc[/re]: To the extent you’re suggesting that Chairman Steele didn’t write every single word, including “a” “and” and “the”, of this fine addition to the literary canon, YOU LIE!

lochnessmonster

Do ya think he’ll quit taken speaking money if he can make enough selling his book?

snideinplainsight

right now, people are having unprotected sex
right now, someone is working too hard for minimum wage
right now, you are reading this text
right now, van halen is sueing the daylights out of the remnants of the McCain/Palin campaign for copyright infringement

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

Naked Bunny with a Whip: Yes there is a chapter on web design. Curiously enough, though, it seems to be all about fisting technique and how to get away with cheating on your cocker spaniel with the hawt new Dobie that moved in next door.

S.Luggo

[re=488762]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Win.

Blingee, anyone?
***
Steele looks like he has just been chomped on the thigh by his much abused Boston Terrier. Bad dog, bad.

snideinplainsight

I’m sorry, I can’t stop googling;

Alex and Eddie Van Halen (both of whom backed Barack Obama for president) issued a statement saying “Permission was not sought or granted nor would it have been given.” McCain’s recently announced running mate and governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, according to the Associated Press, has named one of her five children Trig Paxson Van Palin, in honor of the band.

AggieDemocrat

[re=488777]snideinplainsight[/re]: FTW!

9/11 is a verb

[re=488759]stew[/re]: Well. he’s black kind of like Clarence Thomas is black..so Repubs can stomach it on their shelves. As long as they feel that Mikey is still a house slave, they’ll be ok

Jerri

Nothing like releasing a book the first Monday of the new year to boost sales. What up? Steele not needing Christmas sales, that’s what.

Steele: Republicans can learn from Reagan [even if he be very dead]
“Not all of us gave up the fight and not all the time. But many, especially among our leaders, have in recent years allowed our principles to be buried under layers of compromise or outright abandonment in the name of power and acceptance and going along to get along.”
E,g., Healthcare reform.
Fight the power. Fight … the … power. Quel un tool pathetique.

BarackMyWorld

[re=488915]Servo[/re]: Win.

trondant

[re=488953]AddHomonym[/re]:

Steele’s a freak
He likes the dudes with da boom
He once got busy in a MSP bathroom

[re=488930]leaveskoalrebelalone[/re]: Now why are you gonna let Mikey have that fun? Bring that over here!

The Huffington Pogue

If the original Steele Blingee wasn’t so perfect, I think this would be the perfect opportunity for another Blingee Contest.

Manos: Hands of Fate

Based on the excert, this looks like the most insightful piece of political thinking since John Locke. The problem with the last eight years is that the GOP was too liberal? Brilliant! Can’t wait for more. I hope Wonketters are busy writing their own reviews for Amazon.

Gumboz1953

A 12-Step Program for Defeating the Obama Agenda

Step 1. Get a viable candidate and get that person elected to President. If that is not possible at this point . . .

Step 1a. Secure time machine, go back to last summer, make sure McCain picks somebody else besides the asshole he picked.

Step 1b. Sit back, relax, and watch McCain win.

I would have voted for McCain had he picked a viable running mate. I was troubled by Obama’s inexperience on the national scene, and really thought Hillary Clinton was better qualified. Still do. The GOP blew this, all by themselves.

Step 2. Quit being dickwads all the time. If that isn’t possible . . .

Step 2a. Ramp up the PR on Faux News so that the citizenry won’t realize what dickwads most of you are all the time.

and so on.

Gumboz1953

[re=489024]Gumboz1953[/re]: Make that “go back to the summer of 2008.” Time sure flies when you’re having fun.

Mr Blifil

[re=489024]Gumboz1953[/re]: You would have voted for Bomb-Bomb Iran if only he hadn’t picked Cariboe Barbie? You thought the economy was in great shape? You think Medicare needs deep cuts and that insurers are our friends?

Maybe it’s me but this stance somewhat undercuts your trenchant attempts at snark. Are you trying to make Denby look good?