Thursday, December 15, 2011

Pretty Good Indication Dating Websites

Take 1,000 pictures of yourself, choose two or three that stand out, write up a blurb on how awesome you are and you have at it!

Daily Diapers

No, this isn’t a site for the aged and infirm wearing Depends. It’s the internet’s premiere FREE community for Adult Babies, Diaper Lovers, Big Kids, and fetishists galore who relish returning to a more peaceful time in their life: childhood. Apparently, these adult children grew up wearing plastic pants and “sissy clothes” as well. According to the site: “Adult Babies like to wear diapers, but also enjoy other babyish things. They may wear baby or sissy clothes such as Onesie-like snap-crotch T-shirts, rompers or play suits. They tend to like more colorful diaper covers and even frilly ruffled panty-style covers. Adult Babies may also enjoy drinking formula from baby bottles, or eating baby food. Generally they like to be treated totally like a baby during this play time, being changed, bathed, and even spanked by their partner who serves as their Mommy or Daddy.” There’s one out there for us all, eh? [Website]

Crazy Blind Date

This site is for intrepid souls only! In a nutshell, you are not allowed to see any photos of your potential dates beforehand and the service will match you up according to where you live. At the time of this review, the website only boasted eight major U.S. cities, but there is an option to select your own location to see if they have a listing. There are three options to choose from: a solo date, a double date, or you don’t care. The novelty steps in when you next have the option of going out on a date that very same night! Next, you select the area in your chosen city you wish to go to, then sit back and wait for an e-mail confirmation that the date is scheduled. Not for the faint of heart! [Website]

420 Dating

For those of you who have been living on the moon as of late, the term “420 friendly” is slang for “I smoke weed.” Finally, the stoners have an online community where you can find someone you can share the munchies with. Strangely enough, the site’s Terms of Service page states: “The following is a partial list of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited on the Website. It includes Content that promotes information that you know is false, misleading or promotes illegal activities. It also states at the bottom of the landing page: ” 420dating.com does not advocate the use of any illegal substances.” And yet on the front page are photos of the latest “Featured Smokers” enjoying a nice healthy dose of hydroponics. Uhhhh, what? [Website]

Darwin Dating

Yes, online dating has been reduced to the shallowest end of the mudpuddle with this matchmaking service. The criteria to join is STRICT as they allow “beautiful people only.” And that doesn’t include inner beauty. They even include what they affectionately call the “Chimp Calculator” to test your unattractiveness level! Their tagline? “Online dating minus ugly people.” One can only imagine how much Photoshopping has been done to these profiles! [Website]

Trek Passions

What couple argues about finances anymore? Here you can find that special someone who can debate whether Jean-Luc or James T. was the better captain, and then go snuggle under your Ewok/Death Star matching sheets. From the home page: “A 100% free online community and SciFi personals site for science fiction lovers, including but not limited to lovers of Star Trek and Star Wars.” Its tagline is: “Love long and Prosper!” Just remember to have your partner checked for Tribble infestation before becoming, *ahem*, intimate. [Website]

No Longer Lonely

Are you schizophrenic? Do you suffer from paranoia? Do you play with your own waste with great delight? Well, thankfully a site has been created to match up people with histories of mental illness. Costing nothing to join with full access to all of its features, No Longer Lonely boasts it’s the only dating site of its kind. Now what could possibly go wrong here? And as an alternative, here’s a site for people suffering with an STD. Now if only they would combine these two. [Website]

Tall Friends

If you happen to suffer from tinyophobia (the fear of little people), you might want to check this site out. It specifically caters to like-minded singles who are of a specific height, meaning TALL. Verbatim, their introduction is: “Welcome to the best, largest and most effective tall dating site in the world. This is the best place for looking for tall dating relationship or marriage. We bring together tall-dating minded singles from USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Europe and more. Here you could mingle with tall singles, tall beautiful women and tall handsome men.” [TallFriends Website]

As an alternative there is a dating site for short people that can be found here. [DateALittle Website]

Women Behind Bars

You have a better than average chance at hooking up here for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, the site doesn’t list what these women’s offenses were to land them in prison, so you’re taking your chances. Surprisingly, if you get a chance to read the “What People are Saying About Us” page, the percentage is high for satisfied customers. Price-wise, it costs you a mere 3 dollars to obtain one address where you can converse via snail mail. The site even has an “Add to Cart” and “Checkout” button after you’re done shopping for your badass beauties! A huge plus is you can pretty much rely on the fact that they’re not going to cheat on you with your best friend. Or anyone else for that matter. [Website]

Scientific Match

At a measly $2000 for a lifetime membership, this site boasts that it will find you a match based on PHYSICAL chemistry. Their CLIA/ASH-accredited lab analyzes your supplied DNA sample (immune system genes) to find that perfect someone, and then destroy it after they’re done with it. What are the benefits of DNA comparison?

Chances are increased that you’ll love the natural body fragrance of your matches.

You have a greater chance of a more satisfying sex life.

Women tend to enjoy a higher rate of orgasms with their partners.

Women have a much lower chance of cheating in their exclusive relationships.

Couples tend to have higher rates of fertility.

All other things being equal, couples have a greater chance of having healthier children with more robust immune systems.

This site, dedicated to married/single folks seeking out “arrangements” with other married folks, sadly has (to date) 4,255,000 members. This site recently took off in America and was like a rash over popular radio station commercial breaks and contains the tagline: “Life is short. Have an affair!” The site GUARANTEES an affair if you sign up, although they do mention in their disclaimer that they are not personally held liable for personal injury or death that should happen to you if you use their services. Which, unfortunately, will be an unexpected guarantee as well. [Website]

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