Sunland Inc., based in New Mexico, has expanded a recall of its products to include peanut, almond and cashew butters, as well as tahini and "blanched and roasted peanut products." The initial recall began last month, after several people became sick with salmonella from peanut butter bought at Trader Joe's and made by Sunland.

As of now, suspicions that pistachios are to blame for the nut epidemic are not confirmed. (Though it is common knowledge that pistachios and other nuts have been hostile since one rogue pistachio assassinated the Archduke Franz Ferdinut in 1914.) Also, Pistachios totally have the most to gain from the elimination; without peanuts, almonds and cashews in the mix, Pistachios will take their place as king atop every bar and in every party snack bowl in the land.