I'm clearly not focused. I have 30 minutes to whip this bitch up, so let's talk grammar.

Wake up! This is good.

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My poppa was a sports writer for a daily in southern Cal and my godfather (my poppa's best pal) was an editor for a Los Angeles-area paper. So, when dad returned every paper penned by yours truly -- redlined to all hell -- apparently sparked a love for editing.

I yearn to tag the world with a red pen. For years, I've wanted to pen a blog on how the world needs an editor. The problem is, after I write all day to entertain you fine fellas and fellettes, my fingers only work for chain smoking and pint holding.

I know what you're thinking. "Dearest Christy, we would have no time for this beautiful disaster. Although it sounds delicious, we're busy tweeting the Buffs butchering of American football."

(BAM. I still love you, Buffs. For real, yo. Kisses and tight end grabs.)

So, since you may not fancy my fine blog brainchild, I beg of you: learn apostrophes.

You know -- those things that look like polka dots crying? Oh. You only speak emoticons.

Well anyway, apostrophes should only be used to mark omissions, contractions and possession. (For the most part. We'll get into "its" another time.)

DVD's = wrong!

Unless said DVD is going to the Broncos game, then we can talk: The DVD's going to get shitfaced at (blah blah blah field at) Mile High. As in: the DVD is going to get shitfaced.

So, when you set that box of Spice Girl CDs outside, do not put "Free CD's."

In conclusion, neighborhood liquor store, if I didn't love those two cats who run the dive liquor closet blocks from my abode, I'd redline the shit out of their signs:

"Dog's must be on leash's. Thank's."

I should be a school teacher.

Good talk? Oh hush. Jeanine's back next week. (As in Jeanine is back.)

New coordinator pushes Buffs to work, play at level he expectsJim Leavitt has discovered this much about his new defense at Colorado: He has some talent with which to work, but his players need to put it in another gear. Full Story

New coordinator pushes Buffs to work, play at level he expectsJim Leavitt has discovered this much about his new defense at Colorado: He has some talent with which to work, but his players need to put it in another gear. Full Story