26. Things Change

He was staying at my house for a few days since we hadn’t seen each other in a week or so and on like the third day he decided to head back to Iowa.

Now, this wouldn’t’ve been a problem if I hadn’t just bought him an ecig that morning and if he had told me goodbye since he left while I was at work.

I could go back and type out the texts and I could try to remember the phone conversations we had, but they don’t matter anymore and I really don’t want to start crying as I type them out.

I was in love with him.

I was head-over-heels in love with him.

And I told him.

We had gotten into a fight a week and a half before we broke up and IDK what it was even about but we were texting and he was like ‘I’m a piece of shit.’ And so I called him because I didn’t think he was a piece of shit. When he didn’t answer, I texted back, ‘I’m starting to think that, but I don’t want to think that about the guy I love.’

He called me then and we talked it out, but I didn’t say it again.

When we were on the phone breaking up, I was in hysterics because I didn’t want to break up, but I knew we needed to since he kept fucking up and making bad decisions since he wasn’t medicated for being bi polar manic depressive so he’d have horrible mood swings. Every problem that we ever had was because of his mood swings.

He’d get depressed and ignore me for days.

Oh, I remember why we got into a fight a week or so before we broke up.

He fucking changed his relationship on Facebook and I called him to talk about it and he was like, “can we talk about this later?” and then he never didn’t answer my calls. For THREE DAYS. He also, in that time, unfriended me on Facebook.

But we got past that because he would so stupid things since he wasn’t medicated for his disorder.

When I got off the phone with him after we had ended things for good, I called my friends sobbing, and it got to the point where I had to hang up on her and run to the bathroom because I had worked myself up to the point that I threw up.

I sent him one last message saying: You decide how things end. You can either call me and we can talk things out, or you can ignore me and we’ll never talk again.