Sunday, November 29, 2015

BUT. My favorite flying time is after I've had a drink or three. And I'm sitting in the waiting area to board. My eyes are a bit dopey (there's a fine line between dopey and drunk), I have my earbuds in, and I'm contemplating a nap.

I've gotten better. This last trip to San Diego, I wasn't worried about anything. The plane was taxiing and then we were picking up speed.

I don't know what it was about the flight. But I was okay. Maybe because I didn't have a connection to rush to. Or it had been so long since I'd been in SD. Or I knew it was only an hour flight.

Anyway. On my way back to Phx. Just paid $21 for a double vodka soda. And had a Dramamine.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

I don't know why I do it to myself. I must enjoy it. I do enjoy it. This sweet pain of remembering you, remembering us.

Looking back through the fog of time, the bad times are blurry. And I can pull the good times into focus.

Of course, these good times can't be exactly how they happened.

Dave always reminds me of you. Especially this album from 2001. Because we had broken up. And then gotten back together. And then broken up. I burned you a copy. And then we broke up. And then we hooked up.

Ugh. You were terrible. And wonderful. And the worst. And I hated you and couldn't stop loving you.

And Dave reminds me of you every time. Still. A million years later. There's no one else it reminds me of.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

What am I doing here? I'm in the hotel restaurant. People milling about. Im reading a book and listening to drunken conversations while sitting in this trendy place with strange chandeliers made of lighted bars.

What am i doing here?

Does anyone else wonder this? What they're doing here and how they got there?

I know when I left Seattle I wondered what would have happened if I'd stayed. I could have stayed with friends. I could have found a job. I could have lived in Seattle.

I wonder if I'll regret leaving here too soon? Like, if I had stayed for one more year. Would I wonder?

Being on the back end of a year here, it doesn't seem too bad. Is it because the weather cooled off? I stopped visiting San Diego so often? I'm getting used to things at work and gaining confidence there with my training and public speaking?