hahaha. i just gave up coffee about 2 weeks ago. ITS ROUGH! you go girl! and your abs are sick by the way. awesome. i'm jealous. and the thrive diet is one of if not the best diet book i've ever read...its just expensive and time consuming to follow. some of the recipes are soooooooooo good though. keep it up!

Nah, don't be jealous of me. Everything I got is from hard work and dedication. It wasn't too long ago I was sitting on the couch pinching my stomach going "Man, I wish I had abs." Lol

Let me explain. I recently went on a 4 day vacation to the beef capital of Canada. The province of Alberta!! It was some interesting times. I left on the 14th and flew into Calgary. From there we drove to Lethbridge for a wedding. I packed my magic bullet, and my packages of Vega for the hotel room.

We took a late flight and arrived in Calgary at around 10 or 11pm. The changes in air pressure and elevation caused me to have one of the worst migraines ever! It was instantaneous as soon as we landed. BAM! Headache. It was rough! I thought that it might have been from dehydration, since it was very hot that day. We stopped at a gas station and I bought an iced tea. Stupid me didn't read the label. (It was one of those headaches that hurt so much you can't see) and I got iced tea with honey. My headache was then accompanied by a good friend: Mr. Stomachache lol! It wasn't so bad on the highway but when we go to town all the weaving around made me wanna barf. I almost did too until we saw some deer trotting along the streets of Lethbridge and my mom started shouting "Marci! Take pictures of the deer!!" So I rolled down the window and tried taking shots. None of em came out though, it was too dark. I guess the fresh air helped though cuz my nausea went away after that.When we go to the hotel I couldn't sleep. I tried taking some drugs for the headache but they didn't work. I spent most of Friday afternoon trying to sleep in but people kept knocking on the door. >< One of them was my uncle's girlfriend and she has a tendency to be.. well.. Fuckin' rude. So I was fuckin' rude too. I felt bad after though, and cried but I only had one hour of sleep. That's enough to make anyone an emotional wreck. Later that evening I apologized and hung out at the bar/casino with my family. They all ate chicken wings. I had some pop.My family and I went to some chinese buffet. It was awful. No tofu. No steamed rice. Everything was deep fried meat dishes. I ordered a vegetarian dish that was soaked in so much oil and msg I had to wring out the noodles! Haha. I went to the store later and bought fruits and soy milk.

The next day was my cousin's wedding. I slept awesome since I was so tired from the night before. I was ready before everyone else cuz I just jump in the shower while everyone goes out for a cigarette. I had a banana for breakfast and some soy milk I bought. I did my makeup really nice to go with my red and black dress.

Here I am, outside the hotel:

The wedding was outside and the relatives wanted pictures taken in the sun. I was out for maybe 15 mins in the sunlight and got roasted. I shouted "Hurry up with the pictures I hear my skin sizzling!" Haha.The reception was inside (thank god)

The day after was a barbecue at my aunt and uncle's. I almost dropped dead from shock when my aunt brough veggie dogs for me. I watched my uncle cook them and one of em touched a raw burger and I flipped out lol. Going "Ahhh it touched the raw meat! BLAAHHH!!" I felt bad and apologized for being "weird", but he was understanding. We cooked it a little longer and he gave it to me. I secretly wiped off all the meat grease with a napkin and ate it. I then munched on watermelon and popcorn.

I had a hard time finding stuff to eat. We always had to go here or there for meals and I pretty much lived off of salad and fruits. When I had time, I'd mix up some Vega in the hotel room and have that. All of the stress of the trip.. Lack of sleep.. Lack of food.. Listening to my mom fight with my sis and her boyfriend.. Caused me to come down with a cold as soon as I got home.

The highlight of my trip was the last day (it always is, isn't it?)

We drove from Lethbridge to Red Deer (a 4 hour trip.. 5 when you have a baby and 4 smokers in the car always having to stop to have their fix)We started off with breakfast at a place called Humpty's where I had some oatmeal, fruit, and a tall glass of orange juice.The menu was interesting. I saw something called "Humpty Bangers" and laughed so hard I had to take a picture.WtflolWe stopped in a town called Vulcan, about halfway between Lethbridge and Calgary. This is a hardcore trekky town. There is seriously nobody there. Truckers stop by from time to time to refuel, but that's about it. As soon as you arrive you see this:A model of the Star Trek Enterprise.

Right beside the model is a big board of the crew where you can stick your face in and have your picture taken. My sister and I had fun with this. She was captain Kirk and I was Spock. Here's me making my Spock face.

Across the street from this is a building with Trekky stuff inside.

When we got to Red Deer, we visited my mom's bf's mom and sister. They had this nice house that was just FULL of animals! Cats, kittens, Dogs, puppies, bearded dragons, birds, fish.. Even a frog. It was so much fun. I spent most of my time playing with the puppies and cats.Here's me with a little Himalayan kitten:

My sister and a puppy:

My mom's bf and bearded dragon:

A cat trying to eat my foot:

We stayed for dinner. I mowed down on fresh corn, salad, and potato chips. Bill (mom's bf) and his family felt bad that I didn't have much to eat so his sister gave me a peach for the road. It was really good. They were all really nice. I had a good time. I got home late last night and I came down with some kinda cold or flu. I'm taking the day off from work to recuperate. Having lots of food and rest. I slept a long time. Silvio's gonna make some ginger tofu for me tonight. Yum yum! Well I better go now, this blog is very long haha!

So I got sick with the flu after I posted my last blog. I had fever, chills, sore throat, cough, headache.. I thought it was West Nile or something I felt like SHIT. I watched DVDs and laid on the couch freezing my ass off (even thought it was quite warm). I was feverish for only one day, but had some extreme fatigue all week.. And body aches and the usual flu stuff. Near the end it was all coughing, sneezing, and blowing my nose. Typical cold stuff. It took about a week to recuperate fully. The next week, I got my period (woooo -.-) so again I was on the couch with headaches and profound bitchiness. 2 weeks on the couch!! I lost 3 pounds. All I did was freakin eat last week (the PMS munchies) and played video games and I lost 3 pounds. You're thinking what I'm thinking. I lost some muscle mass. I dunno if you can lose it that fast though. Anyways, I'm down to 105 pounds now and back to pumping iron. I haven't been this tiny since high school. I got nice looking abs but everything else is like.. ribtastic. My hip bones stick out, my ribs are showing, my collarbone sticks out.. It's time to gain weight, or I'm gonna freeze to death in the upcoming winter. It starts getting cold in November/ end of October so I gotta do this FAST.

Sunday I started with a "push" workout. I've indeed lost muscle mass because the weights seem heavier than before. I did military presses, chest presses, and tricep extensions and dips. My pecs were really sore yesterday from the workout, but my shoulders and triceps were okay.

Last night, I did "pull". I did biceps, back, and abs. I worked out for about an hour but I'm not sore today. I thought for sure I would be, cuz I was pretty tired after my workout.

I'm still struggling with constant fatigue. I have insomnia I think. I have to lay in bed for about an hour before I fall asleep. Then I have a hard time staying asleep. I always wake up feeling really tired. I've been under a lot of stress at work lately, and I've become very irritable and depressed. The former part is very noticeable if you've read my posts in some of the threads lately. Especially the vegetarian dog food thread. I have no problem with vegan dogs, but cats are different. Their digestive systems are unique, especially their livers. They need an acidic PH or they start forming crystals in their bladder. I had a patient last week with crystals so bad that he was blocked and couldn't urinate. This cat was in so much pain. The only person he would let near him was me. I had to feed him by hand. I showed him unconditional kindness, which is what he needed. He really was a nice cat, even though he would howl at everyone else. He scared a few people lol.

I've seen cats with so many problems as a result of bad cat food. I've seen cats die as a result of it. It's very sad, and I don't want to risk my cats getting sick so that they eat a plant based diet. It isn't natural for them. The pain and torture that chickens, cows, and pigs go through isn't their fault. It's the fault of humans. Commercial pet foods are made with the by-products of the meat industry. My boyfriend is usually in charge of feeding the cats. Scooter is his, and Mini was found starving on our doorstep a year ago. He gets me to check their food to make sure it's healthy for them to eat. The thing I look for is low ash content, and a fat content below 15%, since our cats are fixed and live indoors. I also look for the AAFCO label. This shows that the food has been thoroughly tested to meet optimal nutritional standards. I feed them veterinary recommended brands like Royal Canin. I avoid Whiskas, generic brands, and other high fat, high ash foods.We keep fresh oat grass for them as a treat. They love it. It helps aid their digestion.I better get going now, gotta get ready for work.

I was going to post what I ate yesterday but my bf was on the computer playing on facebook all night

Anyways, let's see if I can remember what I ate..

I woke up with a migraine yesterday. I usually lose my appetite when it happens so I didn't end up eating until about 4pm. I had cereal with raw almonds and hempseeds on top with soy milk. I can't remember if I had a drink with it though.

I went to work and the migraine went away. I guess I got distracted from the pain or something. After work I ate some soup my boyfriend made. It was made with yams, turnips, tofu, spinach, and carrots. Very yummy. I put some wild rice in it, and had soy milk after.

Later on I did my leg workout. I did squats, lunges, deadlifts, and calf-raises. I had some dates for an energy boost during my workout, and afterwards I had one of my hemp smoothies with fruit and veggies.

I think that's all I ate yesterday.. Today i still havent gotten my appetite back but managed to eat my cereal. I had a tough time sleeping last night. I think I'm an insomniac. I only sleep for about 2-3 hours at a time and then wake up. I have a very hard time falling back asleep after that.

Soup for dinner. My boyfriend made this awesome soup with spinach and tofu.. I'm getting deja vu.. I think I wrote about his soup already.. -scans down-

LOL I did.Anyways I had some of that. Then me and Silvio went to the store and got shit tickets (toilet paper) and I looked around at the makeup and girly stuff. Came home and I had some nuts and an apple. Now I'm eating a salad. I never look at the time when I eat or write it down.. It's a pain in the ass for me lol.Silvio told me I have a beautiful body and he doesn't know why I complain about it all the time. I feel much better after hearing that so I'm not gonna whine about being too skinny or too fat anymore. It's fine the way it is. As long as I'm healthy that's what matters. It just shocked me to go down to 105 pounds. I haven't been that light since high school. I did a leg workout yesterday and flexed my legs in the mirror today. They look pretty freakin sweet. I can see a lot of definition, even though my legs aren't really big or anything. At work I do a lot of squatting to wipe the walls down low (cuz animals like to rub up against the walls and get them furry lol) and mopping and vacuuming. I guess I do a lot of lunges that way. My shoulders look huge. They're wider than my hips now. Again, from mopping and vacuuming. I use this old mop that weighs a ton. I used to get really bad pain in my shoulders when I started my job but now I don't cuz I'm used to it.

So yeah.. I forgot what I ate yesterday. I'm really bad at this. I ate bananas, nuts, a green smoothie, and oatmeal throughout the evening. You know, I've never dieted in my life. I've never counted calories or accurately recorded everything I ate. I hate doing it. I really do. Whenever I wanted to lose weight I just exercised more and ate a little less. I don't know how people can write down every little thing they eat and the calories and nutrients and all that stuff they consume everyday. I'm too busy and too stressed out to bother with that so I'm just gonna stop trying to kid myself. Writing down my workouts helps. It helps me see what kind of progress I'm making. Today for my workout I'm gonna clean my house. There's a lot of work to do.

Last Saturday I busted my ass at the gym. I was so sore after but the next day I went on a hike. uphill, downhill, etc. It was a lot of fun. I was trying to exhaust myself so that I could sleep. It didn't worked

I'm still an insomniac. This morning I woke up at 5 am. That was it. There was no going back to sleep. I tried for 3 hours and decided to just get up. I was really groggy and felt like an idiot. I couldn't focus or even think straight! I finally gave in and had a nap for a couple hours around noon. I was asleep for about 2-3 hours.

I decided to cruise around Facebook for a bit and look at pictures of my neice that my sister put up a few days ago. I was looking through the album entitled "My Baby Girl" when all of a sudden the pics of my neice stopped. My sister put up pictures of a fucking pig roast in this album. I was outraged. Here they were.. At least 3 pictures (I kept clicking to get away, holding my hand up to the picture of the poor pig) and just gave up and closed the browser. I was outraged. I was teary-eyed. This pig was impaled and roasting on an open flame. It was horrific to me. I got very angry and left a nasty message on her wall. I couldn't phone her.. I was in tears and very upset by what I saw. I didn't call her names or anything of that nature.. Just asked her if she ever stopped to think that I would like to enjoy looking at pictures of my neice without a skewered rotting carcass of a pig staring at me in the face. I then left the link to the video "Meet Your Meat" which prompted me to go vegan. I wrote "You probably won't watch this.. Because most meat-eaters refuse to see and believe the truth".

I also expressed my disappointment in her.. As I mistakenly believed that she supported my lifestyle.

After I lost the job at the gym, I made it a point not to bitch about work on the forums. Basically, my job at the vet clinic is sucking the life out of me. The weight loss... The insomnia.. Chronic migraines.. It's all stress related. Now I'm starting to lose my appetite and get stomachaches. (Ulcer, anyone?)

Let me explain my work environment:

I work for a vet and his wife who immigrated from India about 7 years ago or so. They have 2 children, one six and the other is eight. They bring their kids to the clinic as soon as they are finished school and they're stuck there all day. The kids get bored and run around the clinic and play with the "clinic dog". The dog usually doesn't get to go outside so he pees in the clinic during the day so that when I get there in the evening, I have to clean it up. He sits in a kennel all night long and cries. It's cruel and my friend, who also works there, is working on convincing the doctor and his wife to let her take the dog home. They won't though, because they got the dog for the children.. But don't take the dog home with them. It's really sad watching this dog suffer behind bars before I leave.

The place is a mess as well. There are 3 employees at the clinic, which is open for 7 days a week, from 8am to 10pm. The doctor is also on call 24 hours. Me and my friend are the only girls that work in the back, the 3rd girl working reception. We only work 4 hour shifts to clean the place, but we are constantly being bombarded with other demands while trying to clean. It's usually silly things, like rearranging the storage room, making pet food samples (when they get shipped to us in a box in little baggies.. hello wtf) and other miscellaneous shit. Twice I was asked to take the kids to the library and teach them how to read.

Another thing.. They are afraid of cats. No lie. They seriously are. Everytime I go into the back to take care of the animals and there are cats in a kennel.. There are usually towels crumpled up in there and no food, water, or litter boxes. They use the towels to wrap the cats up cuz they think they're gonna attack them! The doctor isn't afraid of cats as far as I know.. But his wife is.. And the kids are. They scream when I take a cat out. It's weird.

Anyways.. I don't feel like a valued employee there. I worry too much about the safety of the animals and the kids running around the clinic all day long. I get yelled at over the most insignificant things. I.e I got yelled at for forgetting to wash out one of the dog runs when I was in the middle of restraining a cat for jugular venipuncture (yes, I was holding a cat with a needle in her neck and I was being bitched at)

I'm tired of the bullshit. I lie awake at night, I cry when I get home and I'm not myself anymore. I've stayed this long because of the animals. That's it. I'm convinced it's not a safe place to work.. I don't even think it's safe for the patients. When I'm not there to clean the kennels, they don't get done. So many times I've come to work to see patients recovering from surgery in dirty kennels.. It just makes me sad.. and angry to see that stuff. My co-worker works very hard. I trained her myself so she has the same standard for cleanliness as I do. Unfortunately, she's only there for about 4 hours per shift as well.. So she's going through the same stuff as me!

Last night I only got 3 hours of sleep. I woke up this morning thinking about what to say.. I've been wanting to quit for awhile. I think a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders once I do.

No, you're right. These people shouldn't be vets. I went in today (my last day wooohooo!) and the boarding cat hadn't had any fresh food, water, or litter. The poor thing! I gave him some fresh wet food, dry food, cleaned his kennel, and lots of TLC. He's a nice cat. Likes to purr and headbutt. He hissed at one of the kids today though.

But yeah, I've been talking to my co-worker about doing something about them. I talked to my sister today and she said I should call the SPCA or something like that.

Yeah you should definitely call the SPCA. They should be able to send someone to investigate, or they'll know who else to contact about this. I know my moms called them, when she's seen a dog in a hot car for a very long time. And usually they will try to send someone right over to the location to get the dog to safety.

_________________The devotion of thought to an honest achievement makes the achievement possible.

If I were you I'd report it soon, before they clean up their act, if they're suspicious at all. The calls to the SPCA are anonymous, but if the vet contacts you, I'd just play dumb and say one of the pet owners must have complained.

_________________The devotion of thought to an honest achievement makes the achievement possible.

So.. I've come to the conclusion that I'm TOTALLY out of shape. During my bout with insomnia, which I'm still struggling with by the way, I rarely ever exercised. I used to be in fantastic shape! Always a ton of energy, always ready for something. These days it's difficult to get out of bed. I'm always always tired and it's pathetic. I don't know if it's because of the change in weather, or if I'm depressed or what's going on. I talked to my doctor a few weeks ago. He suggested I read up on "sleep hygiene" but I already do most of the things it suggests. Except for having a regular sleeping/waking time. Well I guess, I do.. But it's awful. It's basically.. Fall asleep around 4 am and wake up in the late afternoon. I can't fall asleep before 4 am! Even if I get up earlier! I tried reading before bed. Nothing.Eating something containing tryptophan. Nothing.Meditating, breathing, visualizing.. Nothing!!!! I'm going crazy! Lately my stomach has been giving me issues despite the fact that I'm eating the same healthy food as I always have. I've been getting migraines once every week or two. Last night it was so terrible it kept me up. Then it was accompanied by nausea. The headache finally went away around noon.. And the stomachache is still plaguing me.

At the gym the other night I experienced heart palpitations/heart pounding twice. Once while I was warming up on the bike.. I just slowed down and it helped. And then again doing reverse flies. It was ridiculous. I had to cut my workout short.Speaking of short-- I've been short of breath very easily lately too. Another sign I'm out of shape. It's hard to get into shape with all these health problems bugging me. Insomnia.. Stomachaches.. heart problems.. headaches. WTF!?!?

If you read the reviews, it will help. The first few chapters suck, but give it a chance. Some of the tips seem ordinary but the power of the book comes from integrating all of the tips into a whole program.

Regular sleep and waking times is one of the most important things you can do to bust out of this. Keep exercising, even if you are TIRED. Stopping that was one big mistake I made which prolonged my suffering.

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