Did my mom and dad just call you?

Right after I graduated college, I was an EasyTech Expert at Staples for about 9 months. I received some rather amusing visits and telephone calls, but one man stands out.

I received a phone call from a gentleman who needed help with some printing, and “didn’t know who to call”. I was happy to help him, even though I wasn’t sure if he had purchased his printer from us, or to be honest, how we were connected with the issue at all. We don’t do printer repairs or services at Staples – we only sell them. I go through the normal process – checking that the printer had ink cartridges, paper, was powered on, connected via usb or wirelessly, that his computer had the drivers installed… all of that jazz. He confirmed that his wife was printing from it that morning. We were able to print a test sheet to confirm that it was operational, but he was still unable to print an email.

After about 45 minutes, he still can’t get it to print. I have a customer who appears confused buying printer ink cartridges and a rather pissed off store manager staring at me, so I have to put him on hold for a few minutes to spin damage control. I’ve been running computer scans while helping the guy, but since I’m not making a sale, my manager is a bit pissed at me. When I return, he still can’t get the document to print. I repeat the full list of steps again, and he decides to keep me on the phone chatting for about 10 minutes while he waits to see if the printer pops out anything new. Nothing happens, so I go through each step with a ridiculous amount of detail, asking him to confirm everything I say with the action he performs. I can hear his wife asking him if she can use the phone in the background.

Everything seems perfect but it just isn’t working. It has been about an hour and a half since I began to talk to the gentleman. I conclude the call with asking him to bring in his computer (and if possible, printer) to our store and I’d be happy to take a look at it on our service desk. He asks me politely if we can try again, so I go through the steps one more time. When he walks to stand in front of the printer to wait for his document, I hear his wife yell in an annoyed tone, “OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, HE’S NOT HITTING OK IN THE PRINT WINDOW.”