Kettle Styles

Of course, the style of your kettle is the ultimate barometer of your taste, and is the primary tool used in your demographic classification. We’re not going to tell you which kettle gets you in the ABC1s though – that’d be cheating and the association of marketers would send their assassins after us.
You need to choose carefully, like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade – choose wisely and you’ll get eternal life when you sip the water from your new tasteful kettle, choose poorly and you’ll end up a pile of dust on the cavern floor. Try not to drop your kettle whilst escaping though, Sean Connery won’t let you get it back no matter how much you want to. (editors note – none of this is true).