An imaginary Holiday in the UK

● written on 13rd Aug. 2012● written to practice the use of idioms● grammar can be funny here ;w;● crazy and boring story XD

I arrived in the UK a week ago to spend my holiday, since the UK is famous for attractive medieval-style magic stories. I did have a ridiculous experience here, which I will definitely remember until I am blue in the face.

I rent a little flat, and then was given a snap to go see if there was any useful second hand furniture sold in the store downstairs. As soon as I entered, I saw a big big dog lying upside down on an old table sleeping. Ignoring it, I turned to the salesman, “This table looks good. I’ll take it.”

“Well, we’ve been considering about whether selling it or not, and he,” pointing to the dog, “has been sleeping on it.”

Confusing. It sounded like the man had to make up his mind depending on what the dog thought.

Just then, the dog was woken up by our voice. It, or I may should say HE, shouted out in human language, “How many times have I told you, DO NOT disturb me while I am shooting a breeze with The Great Nightmare! And I will never ever allow you to sell my kingly bed to anybody ELSE!”

The salesman whacked him immediately and shouted back, “And how many times have I warned you aginest talking like a human in front of strangers?!”

Well… probably I should pretend nothing had happened and ran away at once.

“No! He made his own bed, now let him lie in it.” The salesman said in anger. I began to wonder if he could read my mind.

The dog was back to sleep after hearing that.

“I’m NOT asking you to sleep again! Do something!”

“OK, fine. You, come with me.” He jumped off the table, which was so-called his bed, and waved his tail to me, “Step on it!”

I stepped on his tail.

“Ouch!” he barked out; even tended to bite me on the foot, “I said HURRY! We don’t have much time.”

“Oh, sorry.” Actually I knew what exactly he meant. Just couldn’t help playing a joke on such a funny guy.

I followed the dog running like mad through a little forest, got to a dark cave. He pushed me to stand at the entrance. However, before he tried to explain something that I felt was really important to him, he fell asleep again.

Suddenly, I saw light flashing toward us from the deep of the cave. Luckily, I escaped, but the dog was struck.

……

I am sure that must be a sort of magic or a trick state-of-the-art to make people get brainwashed, ’cause a few minutes ago, my lovely little sister was just telling me this ridiculous crazy story which she had heard from a big big talking dog, which I totally believe.