28 January 2015

When there is a
knock on my door these days I can pretty much guarantee that it is wee Liam
from the apartment across the way.

There are only three apartments on each
floor of the complex in which I live and we have secure access – so no one else
can get up.

There was a
rapping just a little while ago and I dragged myself wearily from my couch and
opened the door.

It has been a long
day.

It has been a long
week.

Liam was there in
his Spiderman pajamas and he aimed his wrist at me and made a ‘Phshhhhh” noise
and I took a mock step back as if I was struck and then entangled in a
Spiderman web.

“You got me
dude” I
sputtered.

“Spiderman” he retorted.

Then he raised his
wrist and he ‘Phsshed’ me again.

Spiderman is
Liam’s thing at the moment. He is only five year’s old and about three feet
tall and he has been mostly Fireman Sam in recent weeks so an arachnid
superhero is a nice variation.

“Is your
brother here yet?” Liam enquired.

“I told you
yesterday Liam, he’s not arriving until Wednesday’

“Oh yeah”

“Are you coming
in then?”

We both looked
back at Liam’s apartment door and his Dad Warwick shrugged his shoulders and I
waved an OK back.

“Y’oright
Wazza?” I
enquired.

I’ll bring him
back in a while”
I added.

“Earlier if you
want” Warwick responded.

“Behave
yourself Liam” Warwick
told his pint-sized son

“He’s no
trouble at all mate”
I told Liam’s Dad.

He isn’t.Any
trouble at all.

He is a gem
actually and he quite often lights up my day.

Liam normally has
insightful thoughts and we have pleasant and interesting conversations that
intrigue and amuse me. Our conversations flow as they should between friends.

“Where’s your
brother then dude?”
I asked of Liam as he hoisted himself up onto my black leather couch.

“He’s asleep”

“Did you web
him like you webbed me?”

‘Mum wouldn’t
let me” he
complained.

“So I’m the
only victim here then?”

“Yes” – then he‘Phsshed’
again at me and I held my arms tight to my side as if they were bound by super
spider silk. I toppled over onto the floor flapped about a bit and told Liam
that I couldn’t move.

It seemed to
please him.

“How do I get
out of these sticky webs Liam? I’m really stuck.”

He removed what
must have been an invisible can of some sort from his utility belt/pajama cord
and sprayed me with yet another Phssh noise and I was miraculously
released from the web.

“That is pretty
sticky stuff Liam that you should really use on your enemies and not your mates
don’t you think?”

“I don’t have
any enemies yet Peter. I am only five years old”

‘Well said
little friend’ I
thought to myself.

The sapience and
sagacity of infancy is a remarkable thing.

It is an
inestimably precious commodity.

“So you are
just practicing on me?”

“Yes and if any
bad men come I will shoot web on them to protect you”

He was being
deadly earnest.

It is pretty cool
having a five-year-old protector.

“How is Dave
going then?”
Liam enquired.

“He seems to be
thriving” I
replied.

“Friving?”

Liam’s ‘th’s’ get
lost into ‘f’s’ sometimes - as they do with little kids

“It means doing
very well”

Liam gave me Dave
the other day.

Dave is a small
plastic dinosaur.

I admired the
dinosaur when I crossed paths with Liam and his Mum in the lift lobby and Liam
handed him to me. I closely inspected the small lump of green plastic and told
him that it was a fine looking dinosaur. When I went to hand it back Liam told me
to keep it. I refused of course but he was obstinate and insistent. He told me
that the dinosaur would cheer me up and protect me.

I am not sure why
Liam thinks that I need protecting but it seems to be a fairly recurrent theme.

Perhaps I do.

Need protecting.

I have been a bit
under the weather and down in the dumps of late - and the little kid has picked
up on it.

The percipience of
children astounds me at times.

It dazzles and
delights me.

I thanked Liam and
pretended that there was a speck of dust in my eye as I cradled the dinosaur -
then I told him that I would just look after him for a while. When I asked him
what the dinosaur’s name was Liam told me that he didn’t have one yet. He then
told me I could choose one if I wanted. I asked him if it was a boy or a girl
and he snorted and said that it was a boy of course.

He told me that
there weren’t any girl dinosaurs.

What was I
thinking?

I then suggested
that we could perhaps name the dinosaur Dave and he nodded his little blonde
head in agreement.

So Dave it is.

I poured us both
tall glasses of milk and we then reclined on my couch with our feet up on the
table.

It was a blokey
moment.

“How was your
day then Liam?”
I enquired.

He paused in
careful contemplation before declaring that it was good.

“How so small
friend?” I
asked.

There was a bit of
deliberation again before he said, “Daniel ate all of his breakfast and
Mummy let us pat the dog in the park and we played on the swings”

“That sounds
pretty much like perfection”

“Yeah”

“How come your
Mum and Dad and brother and kids and family don’t live here with you?” he then asked.

“It’s
complicated dude and they are all grown up. Besides there is only room here for
me”

“That nice lady
who was here was your little girl wasn’t she?”

“Yes she is my
daughter Liam and she was visiting from Australia and she is a nice lady isn’t
she?”

“She gave me
milk too and she read me stories”

“I know she
did”

“Do you miss
your brother?”

“Every minute
of every day”

“But he will be
here soon?”

“Next week
dude”

"Wednesday"
I added and
emphasized. The day of my brother's arrival in Singapore has been almost a
daily enquiry from Liam and he seems almost as excited as I am about the
impending visit.

“Can I come
over and visit?”

“Anytime you
want to but I told you we are going away for awhile”

“Yeah I
remember up on a big mountain. Can I bring Daniel?”

“Absolutely”

We both had a big
gulp of milk and I asked Liam if he wanted a biscuit and he said he did but he
better get home. He told me he didn’t want Daniel to wake up and miss him.

I walked him to
his door and said goodnight and he hugged my leg as he is want to do nowadays.
As I turned to leave he said, “Hey Peter”

25 January 2015

It has
been a while since my last visit however I use to visit and work here a lot.

It is
a fine city with fine people.

I
arrived yesterday afternoon and checked into the Grand Hyatt hotel. I have only
stayed in this hotel once before and it was not by choice. The hotel I usually
stayed in was full and at the end of the day I am not really too fussed where I
stay – as long as the bed is comfortable, and there is a spa and a swimming
pool.

I like
massages and I like to swim each morning.

I had
a haunting the last time I was here.

True.

It was
as unexpected as it was disconcerting.

I have
written about this previously in a piece I most unimaginatively titled “Spooky
Things”.

Rather
than re-hash the whole event – here is what happened:

I was here in
Taipei on business.

It was in 2012.

I have only ever
been here on business.

I used to come here
often for work.

I like Taiwan and
I have quite a few friends here.

I normally stayed
at the Landis Hotel as it is comfortable and luxurious and spanking. These are
my three main criteria for overseas hotel accommodation.

And a swimming pool.

On this occasion
though there was some big convention on in town so the Landis was full and I
was booked into the Grand Hyatt instead.

No drama.

The Grand Hyatt
was close to my office so I could walk there.

I like walking.

I arrived in
Taipei in the morning and I went straight to the office. I had meetings from
dawn to dusk.

I did my stuff.

My day was busy
but it was mostly uneventful.

I like the
Taiwanese and I very much like the way that they choose their own Western
names.

They do this as
adults.

One of my friends
in Taipei chose the name Elton because he likes the music of Elton John.

A work colleague
of mine chose the name Snoopy because he likes Snoop Dogg.

The Rapper.

I associate Snoopy
with the Charlie Brown cartoons.

It must be my age.

I giggle inside
when I meet with Snoopy as I have this Charlie Brown image firmly in my mind.
Snoopy is a very nice bloke though and I would never giggle to or at him.

That would be rude.

So I went back to
my hotel at about 8pm and I ordered room service. I ordered a club sandwich
with a side order of fries and a chocolate milkshake.

No booze.

I checked my
emails and I made some phone calls then I channel surfed the TV. Taiwanese soap
operas are hysterical. There is a lot of screaming involved and delightful and
colourful costumes.

I can't understand
a word of course but it amuses me regardless.

I felt a bit weary
about 11.00pm so I had a shower and I got under the covers then I read my book.
At the time I was reading "A Fraction of the Whole" which is a novel
by Steven Tolz.

I regard this work
to possibly be the greatest Australian novel of all time.

It is a cracker.

I read until about
11.30 by which time I felt quite sleepy so I put down my book and I turned off
the lights and went to sleep. At exactly 1.12 am I was awoken by the feeling of
someone sitting on the end of my bed! I recall the exact time as I saw the
digital glow of the bedside clock.

I sat upright.

I turned the
bedside lamp on.

There was nothing
there so I assumed that I must have been dreaming.

So I turned off
the light and went back to sleep.

At 3.10 am I was awakened
again.

Plunk.

Someone had sat at
the end of my bed.

What the fuck?

On went the light
again.

I got out from
under the covers and I looked around the room. I checked in the bathroom and I
even peeked under the bed. I felt uncomfortable and I was a bit frightened.

There was no one
there though.

Was I going mad?

I left the
bathroom light on and got back under the covers. I must have drifted off to
sleep again then thump again.

4.42 am.

Someone had
definitely sat down right next to my feet.

But there was
no-one there!

I turned all the
lights on.

I sat up in
bed.

I was very
nervous.

At 6.30 am I went
downstairs to breakfast. This was when the restaurant opened. On my way there I
went to the concierge desk and I told them what had happened. The man there
looked at me strangely but he nodded politely then he brushed me off. I began
to doubt myself.

I went to the
office and told Snoopy what had happened and I told some of my other Taiwanese
colleagues too.

"Didn't I
know?" they asked. “That hotel is haunted, there had been many reports”.

I jumped straight
on to Google and I searched for information myself.

For fucks sake -
the place was built on a killing field. During the occupation of Taiwan, Chiang
Kai-shek's soldiers had slaughtered thousands of Japanese on the very spot that
the hotel was constructed.

I asked my
colleagues to immediately find me another hotel. I told them that I would not
stay there another night. Try as they did there were no rooms to be had in all
of Taipei.

The bloody
convention!

When I went back
to my room that night I found that the hotel had put two small statues on
either side of my bed. There was also a single red rose in a vase on the TV
cabinet. I immediately rang Snoopy again and I also consulted Google. These
were Buddhist ghost warding devices!

They would
supposedly protect me.

I took two very
powerful sleeping pills that night.

I knocked myself
out and I had no further visitations.

I checked out the
next morning and have not returned since.

I vowed that I
would never stay there again and I am now a believer.

There are spooky
things out there.

So you
may ask why have I checked in here again?

A fair
question.

I am
seeking a haunting.

The
research I have done on the hotel suggests the banshees that wander the halls
and sit on people’s beds have actually hurt no one - and I am more curious than
afraid of what I might encounter.

I have
prepared a list of questions I would like to ask the undead and I am hopeful
they are prepared to answer.

My
friend the anagram Iman - the sender of
the Octopus picture - has informed me that she would not stay a night here but
suggested I greet the ghost and then release it.

I will
do the former – but not the latter.

I wish
to yack to the spirit.

I have
charged my phone and also a small video recorder to try and capture the ghosty
– and to record any noises or utterings.

These
will likely be in Japanese as I understand all of the spirits are slaughtered
Japanese soldiers.

So
when I checked in yesterday I was given the old, “Welcome back Mr. Hepenstall” to which I thanked the Taiwanese
Receptionist who spoke with a distinctive American accent.

“It has been a while since you last
stayed with us”
she commented as she clicked my details into her computer.

“It has” I replied.

“May I please have your most haunted
smoking room?”
I enquired.

There
was a pause in her clicking and she said, “I
beg your pardon”

“May I please have your most haunted smoking
room?” I
repeated.

“None of our rooms are haunted” she responded.

“Really?” I said – cocking my eyebrow in a most
exaggerated fashion.

“Really” she asserted.

“Well I was in a haunted room in here the
last time I stayed”
I declared

“It was very haunted indeed,” I added.

The
young lady stopped her clicking and gave me a long and blank stare. For a
moment I thought she might be Singaporean as the blank stare is a common
phenomena there.

“Perhaps we could Google ghosts and the
Grand Hyatt Taipei?”
I suggested

“There are many hundreds of reports of restless
spirits in this establishment”

The
blank stare continued.

“OK - do you have a record of which room
I stayed in when last I was here?”

The
lady recommenced her clicking and after a minute or so she said, “You were in room 1704”

“Is that room available then?”

“It is”

“Then I will take that one please”

“Yes sir”

“If there are any of you ghost inhibiting
statues in the room may I please have them removed?” I asked

“Yes sir” she replied.

“Aha - so you concede the hotel is
haunted then?”
I enquired.

No
response.

I
stayed up late last night with the lights off and awaiting a visitation. A
couple of times I thought I heard something and asked in both English and in
Japanese if there was anyone there.