Partially Occluded View to a Steel Bridge

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Goodbye to the Little Prince

they brought the toys for little boysthey brought the checkers and the swordtime for goodbyes, we don't know whysay goodbye to the Little Prince

in his ship he is a tripmaking mischief on the seas, if you pleasea pirate fierce, eyes that piercehe is the captain of all that he seesacross the seven seassay goodbye to the Little Prince

but how will i get home dear mother?how will i grow to be old?i will laugh and sing and plunderhold me mother, i'm so coldplease hold me motherplease hold me mother

i will stand upon the decki will climb to the crow's nesti will skirt the rocky shoresand still have time to do the chores(please don't cry when i dieplease don't cry don't ask me why)

i'll be a man, i'll rule the landi will be strong and wise and fairthe day will come when i will runi will fly into the air(watch me go, spread my wingssee just what my talons bring)

but how will i get home dear mother?how will i grow to be old?i will laugh and sing and plunderhold me mother, i'm so coldplease hold me motherplease hold me mother

a little prince waves goodbyehe can no longer tell you whya little prince among the starsbuilding castles up on marsnow i lay me down to sleepa little prince i pray to keepa little prince i pray to keepsays goodbye

they brought the toys for little boysthey brought the checkers and the swordtime for goodbyes, we don't know whysay goodbye to the Little Prince

in his ship he is a tripmaking mischief on the seas, if you pleasea pirate fierce, eyes that piercehe is the captain of all that he seesacross the seven seassay goodbye to the Little Prince

but how will i get home dear mother?how will i grow to be old?i will laugh and sing and plunderhold me mother, i'm so coldplease hold me motherplease hold me mother(please don't cry when i dieplease don't cry don't ask me why)

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Opinuary Column

The Opinion "Masturbating while being a Republican* is wrong but permissible" has died. It's not permissible nor shall it be tolerated. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Republicans are no longer allowed to fantasize about the invisible hand of the free market creating a surge in profits, or issuing a steady stream of income. The Opinion has been around as long as privilege itself, the unfair tug of "Do me as I say, not as I don't do you" is a mantra that will be missed by many Republicans, those nasty, dirty little Onan bitches! Yeah, I'm talking about you, Santorum!

Should a Republican knowingly touch himself (as the General has pointed out numerous times women cannot masturbate because they have no little sailors in their boats)--anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, should a Republican touch himself with masturbatorial intentions then he should resign from the party immediately, and go live among the heathen, Darwinian chimpanzees who will surely spend eternity jerking in Hell. But don't visualize that, especially if you wish to remain a Republican. Just cleanse your mind, and seek help from another to assist you in serving penance. And take pictures too! Lots of pictures!

The Opinion was born of monied conservatives who were just as filthy and sinful as your garden variety commie-homo-hippy-sponge-tugger, only these leaders of the GOP hid their awful crimes so that their spiritual base, the Armies of God, were none the wiser. So good at not being the wiser their base shed any attempts at wisdom entirely, and were at last free from having even the smallest kernels of knowledge shoved down their throats. Even as the "troops in the field" did the hard work of directing their friends and neighbors to vote against their economic interests, it took the nascent Tea Party to shake the establishment out of its doldrums and squeeze out the last few drops of creative juice. While selfish Republican Party leaders were still whacking away with impunity (Note: if anyone finds a detachable orange dick running around please hold it for me--Boehner borrowed mine for a lobbying soiree and then claimed to have lost it at a tanning booth--yeah, right) the glorious masses stood erect without release, and then it was just boners, boners, boners all the way down.

Republican leaders owe it to their constituency to refrain from self-pleasure, to set an example, to boldly abstain where no one has abstained before! Republicans: Drop your worm, or get voted out next term!

A Memorial Service for the Opinion was held this morning--it was held, fondled, caressed, squeezed, stroked, teased, slapped and strangled until my body panicked and spit out a battalion of little soldiers, ready for Special Ops training until tragically vanishing down the drain. Sigh. In lieu of flowers I wouldn't mind some moist towelettes and a cigarette, it it's no trouble.

++++

*Democrats are free to whack away as is their habit, because they can't go to heaven anyway--just keep them away from the good linens.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Unbearable Rightness of Chauncy

Friday, September 10, 2010

American Blues

i got a busted wall for my movie queenshe is up against it, so obsceneshe's a drag, a drag she iscoming down in the burning raini've got to get back to americai've got to get a better haircuti'm in a ruta terrible ruti just tut-tut-tuti stagger down the hallbreaking into falli got a busted walli climb up it in a busted dreamgonna build me a mars, drink in government barsbut i hit my head and fell in bedwake me up if you think i'm deada busted walla busted wallthat is allthat is all

i'm taking fluids from the jumping mani'm making cocktails for a one night standi drink it up and hit my headfall into bedwake me up if you think i'm deadif you think i'm dead

please, give me money for a news flashdig into your pockets for some raw cashlay it on me, help me pleasei wanna get stoned and smoke cigarettesget bent in two, puke on my shoeshere's the latest news:everybody's gone, everybody's in the raptureand i'm alonein the great unknownlike a crazy crow at the end of the showi just hang around for loose changei just hang around on the free rangecan't kick me outi scream and shouti'm all that's left of the whole shebangget bent in two, puke on my shoeshere's the latest news:i got american bluesamerican blues

i'm in a ruta terrible ruti just tut-tut-tuti stagger down the hallbreaking into falli got a busted walli climb up it in a busted dreamgonna build me mars, drink in government barsbut i hit my head and fell in bedwake me up if you think i'm deada busted walla busted wallthat is allthat is all

oh, wait for the shining lightsreach deep inside of the highest heightsflip and flop, twitch and jerkgod's got a taser and it hurts to worki have to goi have to leaveeverything is burning mei'm onto the parapetthis is the only castle i'll ever getsurrounded nowhere they comelet them inlet the games begindrinking my gin i get agitatedjuniper berries are so wasted

i'm taking fluids from the jumping mani'm making cocktails for a one night standi drink it up and hit my headfall into bedwake me up if you think i'm deadif you think i'm dead

and i'm alonein the great unknownlike a crazy crow at the end of the showi just hang around for loose changei just hang around on the free rangecan't kick me outi scream and shouti'm all that's left of the whole shebangget bent in two, puke on my shoeshere's the latest news:i got american bluesi got american bluesi got american bluesi got american blues

Thursday, September 02, 2010

The Opinuary Column

The Opinion "Sarah Palin would never bully or mock a man's penis in defiance of God's commandment that women be subservient to men (1 Corinth. 14:34 -- ...women... must be in submission... )" has died. The Opinion was two years of age at the time of its passing. Born in the musky, tundra veneris of the Great White North, the Opinion lived a quiet and respectable life among the wild orifices and quim bogs that dot the coastline of Real America, and enjoyed camping, fishing and hunting humpbacked whales with satellite-guided missiles.

Six months ago the Opinion was diagnosed with imasculata frittata, a rare and edible form of Word Cancer that spread to Sarah's hands before being smeared across her chops. First manifesting itself as schoolyard taunting it metastasized and spread throughout her entire vocabulary, a vocabulary believed to be as large as six hundred words (seven hundred if you include the numbers 600 thru 700) before coming to rest in her divinely appointed hooty-pie. The Opinion is survived by a conservative call to refrain from mono-pleaseistic sexual acts. Today's conservative must be potent and rigid, but for the lord's sake don't give in to the desire for self-managed orgasm! What's next? Electric cars? Sustainable farming? Besides, if you're like Sarah, you don't want to touch yourself down there--those ink stains are hard to get out!