This blog is a place for wives, girlfriends, significant others, and anyone else stuck to a chef to come together and chirp to each other about how to deal with the nonsense that goes along with being the wife of a chef. I was struggling to live with a ghost of a husband who I never saw until I met two other chefs' wives that saved me. It was then that I realized there must be more who need love and support too, right?
Hilary, First Lady Desperate Chefs'Wives
instagram @hilarya25

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Any Regrets?

If I only knew back then...

A reader recently asked me if I could do everything over again would I run? As in run from the my chef like she's tempted to do now knowing what we all know. There is no way I would ever change anything. It would take all the powers in the world to tear me away from my perfectly imperfect life. I can't stand the time my chef is away at work, but it's the life I lead and I'm not going anywhere. A life with a 9-5 husband would certainly lend to more quality time, but there would be other problems. There always is. I believe we are challenged each day in life only enough that we can handle it while still learning something at the same time. I'm challenged everyday, any more than this and I'd be done for, any less and my life would be boring.

I've just recently been going through some tough times with my chef. New restaurant - need I say more? For the first time in our relationship I contemplated my life without him, and as crazy as our relationship gets, my life would not be the same without his energy, passion, and all the same things that drive our screaming fits in the middle of the night when we are both tired and fed up. I'm glad I'm not the only one nuts enough to want to stay!

I just met a well-known restaurateur's wife, and she said the trick to being successfully married to a chef is to be fiercely independent. I fantasize all the time about what my life would be like if I were alone or with someone else, and I always come back to being so glad to have him in my life. There is nobody else I would rather be with. And thank god I'm naturally independent, anyway!

I'm with Melia lately. New restaurant equals no date to my best friend's wedding in Boston. I love my chef and would never want to be with anyone else, but sometimes it's really hard. And hormonal PMS doesn't help matters!

Its not easy, this "glamorous lifestyle" I am 3 kids into it with my chef and the thing we are having a hard time with now is that he is adjusting to not being the main event, in that the economy has tanked and good chef jobs have become more scarce and lower paying for crappier hours. I have had to work more to compensate and he has been home a lot with the kidsIts been a good reality check for him - but the chef ego is suffering.I don't know where it will leave us, really.. He is taking a class toward a new field, but I don't know if he can do itit has been our hardest year to date!!keep calm and carry on, right ladies?? What can we do? WE are ultimately the glue that holds it all together.

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