Sunday, November 15, 2009

Tired

We had a good weekend. A busy but good weekend. But the thing is that although i have got some great memories from this weekend, i have also been left exhausted and at this point i really cant afford to be exhausted. My mother in law spent the weekend with us, it was the boys concert and we had a family lunch at our place on Saturday. Firstly, the boys concert was spectacular. The theme was "the zoo" and Seth was a Koala bear and Gabby a crocodile. They were absolutely adorable. Gabriel did a piano solo and i was blown away. He has been doing piano for about a year now but i really had no idea how good he really was. He was so confident. So little sitting on that little stool in front of all of us but so calm and thorough. I was so, so proud of him and got so choked up. You always wonder whether you are totally hashing up motherhood, so when your child does something well, demonstrates a quality that you admire, it is such a wonderful reassurance. I have figured out that i really like my children's personality. I think that they are adults we are going to be friends. I think that they are going to be good people. Seth was beyond cute in his little ears. I tried to not let him see me until he was finished his moment on stage as i knew he would bolt. He saw me half way through. I managed to catch his eye and encourage him a bit, but as soon as the song ended, his lip started to quiver and soon he raced through the crowd and spent the rest of the concert on his parents lap.

A really sentimental moment for me was when Gabby got his school certificate completing his pre school days. I feel so emotional about him starting school next year. I am so excited for him but wish i could keep him little, safe, unaffected by life. I am just plain scared. Like all other moms whose little ones are starting school. But i know that this is just a little step on many that lead to his independance and i trust that he will cope.

It was wonderful seeing my mother in law this weekend and it is great that it is only a couple of weeks before we will be in East London with them for christmas. I love seeing their relationship with my sons and i wish so much that they lived closer. They are such a positive influence on my sons and it is wonderful to have someone to talk to who thinks that your kids are as amazing as you do.

Then bam, after Jason has taken his mom to the airport, i check my email and see a mail from my boss saying that the biggest cheese has decided that all managers should be back on the 5th January, because thats when he gets back and of course we live to serve. I was supposed to get back on the 17th so needlessly i am so pissed off. I need this leave. I need to refocus. I am exhausted and i dont really want to have to deal with someones dick head opinion of why i should cut my holiday and family time short, just because he may get lonely in his huge office. I sent a carefully worded email, splattered with phrases like gender sensitivity , family responsibilities etc. I dont think they are going to give a damn. So worse case scenerio, i will take off earlier if i have to start earlier. I will use my nanny to look after the kids for the 5 days and insist on taking off three days mid January when the schools start: the day before, the first day of school and the day afterwards. Even if i have to call in sick! I am super, bloody pissed off at my insensitive senior ass!

So the question is: How do i survive the next couple of weeks without killing someone: staff or boss? Tough one! I will let you know how it goes. To make it worse there are a multitude of crap domestic pressures that are mounting: tax forms that are due to the accountant by friday, birthday parties that need to be planned, curtains that i had made that need to be taken back and altered, stationary and uniforms for next year that need to be bought.

Its so tough being a working mom, especially when you know yourself and know that you would never ever survive at home. So you are doomed and just need to find your survival space.

1 comment:

Buck up Allison, It'll get better. Bosses can be such a pain can't they? Our school district has gotten really hard to work for. Take our superintendent who accepts a $40,000 pay raise this year while the rest of us won't see a penny more and some are just holding onto their jobs by a thread. Go figure. His salary increase would have paid for another new teacher. Yes the years fly by so swiftly where kids are concerned. I never thought we'd get to the days that we are in as parents but here we are. Seth will be 20 next year and Kristina will be 18. Seems like only yesterday they were Seth and Gabby's ages. Enjoy these days. Yes it is great seeing them grow into such fine human beings. Hope you have a great holiday. We call it vacation here. Whatever it's called have an awesome, spectacular time. :-)

My story......

I am a South African mom trying to be a good mom, create a magical sound childhood for my children, be creative and still work for my bread and butter. I have two beautiful sons and a dear hubby, We live in Johannesburg.