May 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

And just to ensure he doesn't play an NBA minute next season, the injury-plagued Oden was invited to train with USA Basketball this summer. So he'll have plenty of time for more community work next year.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Shockingly, even with all the luck and good fortune brought to the dais by lottery rep Chris Webber and his 27 microfracture surgeries, the Sacramento Kings didn't actually end up with the No. 1 overall pick.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It took roughly two seconds of this broadcast to wonder what the hell is going on. Why not just use a hologram of Vincent Schiavelli? Jeeeeeeezuz. We could have found more comfort in having an actual goblin explain the rules of this draft while chugging Ecto Cooler.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Even if it suddenly began raining Xanax inside the YES broadcast booth, we're pretty sure nothing short of the camera's red light going off or a 27 oz. martini would put poor David Cone at peace.

Seriously Conie, what is wrong? You sound somewhat normal when you're not being shown on camera, so what's the deal? Looks like you've been up for weeks, tossing, turning and boozing after being informed that you're actually Mike Maddux, and never were David Cone to begin with.

Phil Mushnick is never a happy camper and today's column was no different, except instead of taking his standard dump into John Sterling's mouth, he doused him with a Port-O-Potty from the Preakness.

Enjoy:

"In the eighth inning Saturday, Sterling called a game-tying home run by Hideki Matsui -- Sterling gave it his, "It is high ... !" routine, culminating with, "It is gone!" But the ball, as Sterling several seconds later acknowledged, didn't even reach the wall on the fly; it bounced over it."

So this wasn't even a deep fly to the warning track that he simply misjudged, the ball bounced on the outfield grass and went over the wall. If John Sterling was a wrestling announcer, title belts would change hands at least 80 times per match.

"Friday's broadcast wasn't two innings old when Sterling had done his best/worst to wreck it. Derek Jeter led off the bottom of the first with a line drive that was caught waist-high by Twins left fielder Denard Span in front of the warning track. Sterling, however, gave it his "Waaaay back!" treatment. Next he said the ball smacked against the wall. Finally, he said the ball was caught for an out."

Home run, off the wall, caught or rolling down Span's wang -- whatever -- all very similar scenarios. Honest mistake here by Sterling.

Dick Towel? Dick Towel!

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