Quotes from ‘Yippie Kayak’

Jake, Charles and Gina are involved in a real-life "Die Hard" situation while off-duty on Christmas Eve, and Terry must leave his family celebration to try to save his squad. Meanwhile, Amy tries to prove she’s just as tough as Holt and Rosa.

Amy: You guys think I'm some kind of wimp, but I'm not. I'm tough and I'm strong, and I love to splash around in chilly water.Captain Holt: It's not chilly. It's as cold as the waters of Cocytus, the frozen lake of hell.

Jake: All right, I guess you'll just have to distract him when we get to the store.Gina: On it. I'll take him to housewares and I'll ask him the difference between a skillet and a frying pan. That'll buy you six hours.

Jake: So, just to recap, you left an unmarked package on a police captain's desk on a random Monday with a suspicious message written on it that looked like it was scrawled by a crazy person.Amy: Uh-huh.Captain Holt: Bomb. There's a bomb. Everyone out! Let's go. This is not a drill.Jake: Great gift, babe.

Jake: I was just so focused on Amy's gift that I completely spaced, and his present to me was so personal. Okay, think, what does Charles love? Gross food, tan pants, Masterchef Junior. Ooh, I could call up one of those kids and offer them a free trip to New York.Gina: I wouldn't do that.Jake: Right, because I'm a stranger and I shouldn't be luring them out of state. Good call.

Jake: Charles, did you call this into dispatch?Boyle: Yes, but I can't get in touch with anyone from the Nine-Nine.Jake: Right. Amy, Rosa and Holt are having the time of their lives thrashing around in the frozen filthy ocean.

Terry: This better be an emergency. There better be a gun to your head.Jake: Charles, Gina and I are in a hostage situation.Terry: Oh, God. I shouldn't have said the gun thing. Terry regrets the way he answered the phone.

Jake: We're at Goodwins. There are multiple gun men. They've blocked all the exits. They've taken the security guards hostage and we're looking for a place to hide. It's awesome.Terry: Awesome?Jake: Awesomely serious. I am not enjoying this no matter how much it is 100% my favorite movie come to life.

Terry: The important thing is keep Gina safe. You have a civilian with you. I'm on the way.Jake: Cool. Oh, also, bring a pic of yourself in a towel coming out of the shower. Can't explain why. Okay, gotta go, bye.

Jake: All right, we're outnumbered and unarmed. If we're gonna get Gina back, we're gonna need weapons. This place sells hammers, wrenches-Boyle: Do they sell plants? Because some of that potting soil is very toxic if ingested in large quantities.Jake: So, you want to feed the bad guys a lot of soil?Boyle: Force feed them.Jake: Okay, that's a good idea that I will definitely consider.

Boyle: How are going to get past them without a gun fight?Jake: I'll tell you how John McClane would do it. The vents.Boyle: Ah, blast the A/C, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.Jake: No, we're gonna climb through them.Boyle: Even better. Classic use of vents.

Boyle: Ho, ho, ho, Jake. Special delivery from Santa's elf. Merry Christmas.
"Heart Attack Soda"Jake: Holy crap. I love this stuff. You know, technically it's just carbonated fudge.Boyle: I know.Jake: I thought they banned it.Boyle: Not in Syria. They use it to induce labor in goats.