Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Francis proposes six new beatitudes for the modern era

It was only at the beginning of last month (October 1st) that Francis offered a sparse crowd at the Mikheil Meskhi stadium in Tbilisi, Georgia a few newly made-up beatitudes. Well, it turns out he wasn’t finished. Like Saint John Paul II, who gave the Novus Ordo church the new Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary, Francis knows better than God and has seen fit in his homily today, at the Swedbank Stadion (a football stadium in Malmö, Sweden), to add six more beatitudes. We have two suggestions for Francis which would improve his new beatitudes. First we at Call Me Jorge... suggest he call them Happitudes instead of beatitudes. This is appropriate as two paragraphs before in his homily he tells us that the saints are happy and the road to this destination is the beatitudes. So why no cut the middle-man out and just refer to them as Happitudes?

4 comments:

Happy are those aren't 'rigid' for they will follow along with everything going.Happy are those who make a mess for they will never have to clean it up.Happy are those who promote mercy for they can get away with everything.Happy are those who believe all religions are equal for they will never offend anyone.Happy are those who reject the idolatory of space being greater than time for they are already off this planet.Happy are those who shun air conditioners for they will not have to pay big electicity bills in summer.Happy are those who embrace the theory of global warming for they are capable of believing anything.

Happy are those who do not criticize for they will not be burdened by truth. Happy are those who say “maybe or perhaps” for they will not be rigid. Happy are those who compromise for they will contribute to world unity. Happy are those who embrace the new for they shall go forward. Happy are those who encounter the other for they will be absolute. Happy are those who do not speak for they are kind to neighbors.