She Eloped With Me Last Valentine’s Day, I Am A Rapist Now

“She eloped with me last year on Valentine’s Day, and I am a rapist now and want to commit suicide.

I am devastated today and need your urgent help.”

Wrote a young lovebird from the Eastern part of India. He just finished his college and joined a work when the girl he loved wanted to elope with him as she was fed with the torture of her parents. The story, however, has more shocking dimensions.

When I received his email one week ago, I was scared, very scared for the future of our boys. The story is given below. Names of the places changed to maintain confidentiality.

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“I beg you to please read my comment. I am suffering from a fake rape case filed by my ex-girlfriend. My story goes like this. We met in college. It became an affair when I was in final year of my graduation and she was in her second year.

After passing out, I joined a job as an engineer. One day, her mom told me that her marriage was fixed in 4-days. Her family was against our affair since I was from Chhattisgarh and she was a Goan girl. Hence we planned to run away on Valentine’s Day last year.

I was only 19 and she was 18 then; so, we couldn’t officially marry. We decided to live in Mumbai for 2 Years and then marry without informing anyone that we were in Mumbai. After that, we came to Bangalore from Mumbai and joined a call-center. We were running into financial trouble every day and I was hardly able to manage because she had very high expenses. In the meantime, she had found two boys who became our friends and promised to help us financially telling that they were rich.

They took us to Allahabad and made me work in an electrical shop as a servant. I worked in the shop for three days and earned Rs. 170 a day. Out of that money, I had to buy food for four of us from a nearby hotel. It was not easy you know. Those guys didn’t leave and hence all of us lived in a rented room. On the fourth day, all three of them woke up early in the morning and left the house telling that they were going out to find her a job.

After a while, I noticed that none of her clothes were there. I didn’t even have a mobile phone to call them. So, I called one of the two guys by borrowing a cellphone from a person outside. He handed over the phone to my girlfriend. She told that all her clothes were up on the roof and disconnected the phone. I went up but didn’t see anything. I was thoroughly disturbed and didn’t know what was happening. I waited the whole day and in the evening both guys came back without her.

When I asked them about her, they said they didn’t know. I tried to go to the police station but they warned me that police would break my limbs if I did so because I eloped with her. Instead, they advised me to go home next morning. Next morning, they took me to the railway station. I somehow ran from there and went to RPF (Railway Protection Force) and reported my complaint. RPF personnel asked me to report the incident at the police station near the place where the incident happened.

I went there and reported the incident to police. Police eventually caught the two guys. Upon further questioning by police, those guys told them that her uncle came from Chennai and took her. After 6 days my brother told me that he saw my name in a newspaper for raping that girl. I was in my village then.

For one complete month, there was no information from Goa police but they called me after a month and interrogated me for 3 days and sent me to jail. I got bail after 22 days. This was based on a letter that she wrote to me before eloping with me. In her letter, she mentioned that her parents had troubled her a lot and she was fed up with them. She also mentioned that she loved me very much and wanted to live with me.

We lived in Mumbai for 1 month 10 days and in Allahabad only for 4 days. Now I have a case of kidnap, rape and taking her forcible to Mumbai and torturing her. She also told me that she had a big problem or something in her stomach and the doctors told her not to have sex and it would not be good for her. So, I never had sex with her though she insisted many times. Even today, no charge-sheet has been filed by police.

Recently, I came to know from her friend that her medical report has come and it confirmed that there was no physical relationship between us. Sir, they are rich and very powerful. I have faith in god but due to their power and our poverty neither, I am able to handle this pain, nor my parents. Sometimes I think of committing suicide. But what will happen to my two younger brothers and my very old parents?

Sir, please take me out of this hell. I would really be very grateful to you.”

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He was shown the way to fight it out but we are still not sure how much this boy can manage. We can only hope that he doesn’t commit suicide at this young age.

For all young boys, some advice regarding such emotional matters –

What worked for him is the letter but that letter is not the proof that he didn’t rape her. Probably medical report can prove that but then again stories can be made out to prove him guilty.

Such cases need good criminal lawyers who can win the case through cross-examination of the victim, friends and other witnesses. This needs a lot of money and choice of a good lawyer. But, it is not impossible to prove these cases false. Any emotional decision can lead to greater danger.

Don’t take such emotional decisions of eloping with girls. It’s not worth the risk because of our present legal system. You boys are not taught about these situations by anyone and that is the problem. We are trying to correct the system but not sure how long it will take. Without your help, it is not possible.

Committing suicide is not the solution to such situations. Probably this is little too much to expect from young boys like you, but try to get in touch with MRAs near you at the earliest to gather courage and fight the odds out. 08882 498 498 is the SIF-One national helpline for distressed men and the volunteers there can help you free of cost. Do call them at the earliest either for you or for your friends and relatives in distress.

Never be the guys like the two friends in this case. If you are a boy, you need to understand that boys are in great danger in such situations. If you can’t help them, at least don’t ruin their life.

Help other boys in such situations in giving them the right advice. Already suicide rate among boys is very high, don’t contribute to increasing it.

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4 comments

” We were running into financial trouble every day and I was hardly able to manage because she had very high expenses”.
Someone who knows you don’t have money and yet expects you to pay her expenses(high) is itself a sign of selfish and self centered person. This should be a warning sign.
Dont give up and try your best to fight back for your parents and people who love you. Fight back for them. At least you are not in denial and in her trap anymore. That itself is a big success.
She is rich and eloped on her own. She hasn’t filed a case on you to get money from you. She wants her parents or society to think that she has not eloped on her own but was compelled to do it. You are so lucky to still have that letter.
I pray you come out of this mess.

“We were running into financial trouble every day and I was hardly able to manage because she had very high expenses”.
When someone knows you are struggling financially and yet expects your pay for her/his expenses is itself a warning sign of a selfish and self centered person.
Don’t give up your life. Fight back for yourself, your parents and to some day be a support for those who might be facing what you are facing today.
You know what she is now and you are not in denial anymore. That itself is a success.
She hasn’t filed a case on you for money but to show to her family and society that she was compelled to be with you.
I pray that you will remain strong and get out of this mess.

[…] spend money. So if you are a men be very careful when you think of love as it can ruin your life. Themalefactor.com wrote about a young boy who has been branded as a rapist now as he loved a girl from his collage […]