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Russian Literature Quiz

One of my brilliant coworkers posted this link in the #random channel. Who can figure our which lines are from a Russian novel and which are from a work email?

Some of my very favorite novels are Russian, and I'm so lucky to be able to read them in the native language. But this quiz quotes the novel in English! And it was surprisingly hilarious! (It doesn't translate well.) So, it's fun quiz time!

I did pretty well! 13/16. #16 is the easiest. (Hint: a Russian never turns down tea. :) How did you do?