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Baba Rumcake

Before you consider laying your life down for your fellow man, consider laying yourself down daily in the small things of life.

Our need to be first overrides our sensibilities resulting in the small infractions of life. Stepping aside for someone on the same small sidewalk or pavement instead of fighting for the narrow space could be one.

Walking behind a car at the light instead of in front of it, could save the driver time wasted, waiting for you to cross on foot in front of the car. It might delay you two seconds but it gives you the opportunity to allow someone the advantage over you for a few seconds.

When standing in line and searching for your money, you could step aside for the next person who is ready with wallet and cash. It might hinder your progress but it is worth setting someone ahead to curb your need to be first.

Small things, daily encounters in life are the practice grounds for the laying down of your life if it ever comes up. One baby step at a time.

Dear Baba Rumcake,
I was admonished by a man in the tennis courts because my wonderful and very old dog Ruff peed on the net. I apologized for my dog’s mishap but he kept shouting at me. He even suggested I should come back with a towel to clean under the net. I was very upset with the encounter. I felt harassed and worried for my safety. I quickly exited the chain link fence and headed out.
How should I have dealt with this? How should I deal with it next time?
Concerned in Oahu

Dear Concerned,
I’m even calling you dear much to my consternation and dismay.

You walked your dog, old as it may be, in a fenced tennis court. You let bowzer piss on the net? Naturally it dripped to the ground making a puddle.

Now you want to know what do next time?

How about being less of a cretin and not taking your dog into the fenced-in tennis courts where he pisses all over the place. Balls will roll into the acrid urine getting disgusting and nasty for others to handle.

Mishap? Mishap indeed but it is not the dog’s mishap. It is your own lack of discipline. You are the owner, the human, the accountable one. You are the one who put yourself in that unseemly position. Get a life! The world is not your toilet and not your dog’s either.

A poor excuse of a dog caretaker. A perfect example of irresponsibility. It is your own poor judgment and lack of social skills that placed you in that unseemly position.

Your fear of the man who confronted you comes from your inability to take responsibility for your behavior. If you want to know what to do next time, do not allow your dog in the courts. Not so hard. Not so difficult.

That should take care of your problem. If you had half a brain. Assuming you were not raised in a barn.

I was in the library with my son who is mentally challenged. We were doing homework and the woman in the next table kept giving me dirty looks. To top it off, the guard came and told me to keep it down since other people were working.

I felt offended. Do you think they should be allowed to shush me? My son has a right to do his homework. What do you think?

Irate

Dear Irate….ummmm Looking for Sympathy
What the hell is wrong with you! Are you stupid or is this just a joke? If your son can do homework, it is very probable he can follow directions. In which case you can tell him to be quiet since you are in the library.

If a guard had to tell you to be quiet, you were unreasonably loud which is rude. Having a child is not an excuse for lack of concern and caring for others. Instead of complaining, maybe you should look into adjusting some of your own behaviors.

If you want to chat with your son or do homework, aloud, you should go to your local coffee shop and screech all you want. Your taking offense has nothing to do with your son and everything to do with your lack of discipline.

Just like all of us, you need to follow the rules. Libraries are a haven for quiet not for you to show off that you have a burden on our hands. Why do I say that? Because your note shows a lack of respect for everyone around you and you use your son as cover.

Poor me! Poor me, I have a mentally challenged son and I have to follow the rules.
Grow up!

Dear Baba Rumcake,
I remember when I was with my first bf (together for 8 years), I was so in love and I was never tired of seeing him. We dated from high school to college. So we were young and we didn’t have much going on in our lives except school. Now I am married (4 years) with a child. I can’t tell if I am still in love with my husband. Most of the time, I feel like I don’t need him. I am perfectly fine with my child.
I wonder if it’s because now I have a career, and a child, and being in a love relationship is no longer a priority to me?

Needing Sparks

Dear Needing,
I guess you have arrived at what most women look forward to. You have no need for the man you are with, yet you are happy. You may need a spark to renew your sex life but the stability of your marriage has helped you grow up and become independent.

You have a career and a child which fulfill you. That means that you are beyond need of a man. But, your desire to make your marriage more enjoyable is healthy and wonderful. This is one of those rare letters that make sense and leave me happy.

Wear plastic wrap and meet him at the door. Buy red lingerie with high heels and have an evening alone after you put your child to bed. Give him coupons that offer sex which he can redeem. Rent a limo and drive around, make love in the back seat.

I heard of a woman who knew where her husband had a business meeting, walked to the bar and sat down dressed to kill. After an hour, she walked up to him as if she knew him not, then bent over and whispered in his ear leaving a hotel key on the table before him. His buddies thought that this gorgeous stranger offered him herself for the night. He was thrilled.

Dear Baba Rumcake,
I sweat like a pig if I’m working for 1-2 hours vaccuming, mopping,cleaning, etc. Is it just as good as like 30 min. of cardio? (i.e., for weight loss and fitness)
Confused and Excited

Dear Confused,
Don’t be excited! The long and short of it is, if you sweat from this low impact work, you are out of shape. No amount of dusting and vacuuming will help you lose the chunk.

You need to get real exercise instead of finding excuses to remain fat and unhealthy. If this is a joke, great! If this is for real, you need some serious help.

Time to get on a treadmill or go for a long walk uphill. Life is good. Go live it and stop making excuses.