The portal opened up and the six Bohrok-Kal and their new Threavok friend disappeared back into the world of zombie Bionicle, only to be greeted with an angry look.

"I thought you were going to bring back more people?" Brutaka tutted. "One humanoid Bohrok is not going to do it."

Kohrak stuttered as he tried to explain. "He's here to help out. We've got a week before we can get the whole unit, right, Veekay?"

"Ayep. Why is it so dark here?"

"The power went out and we couldn't get a Rahkshi into the treadmill. We need more lightning beings here..." Brutaka sighed.

Veekay scratched his chin. "I suppose I can help with that. What with my element being plasma, I've got small amounts of control over fire and electricity too..."

"What?" Pahrak exclaimed. "How comes I don't have that?"

"I use the real-world definition of plasma, rather than "very very hot stuff" like you."

"You should learn that, Pahrak! Now why don't you and that random Matoran there show Veekay around? I'll go and generate some power..."

Veekay picked Tahnok up by the head. "Oh don't be silly. I'm quite happy to generate some electricity for you lot. I need to fine-tune my electric side anyway!" With that, he dropped Tahnok and followed Pahrak and the random Matoran. As they left, Brutaka glanced at the remaining Bohrok, tutting and sighing. Kohrak and Nuhvok were discussing where to go next. Gahlok prodded Tahnok.

"Hey, while we're trying to work out where to go next, why don't you ask the narrator to explain how we ended up in this mess?"

"Um, why don't you ask him?"

"Sure!" Gahlok turned around, as if he was expecting to face a narrator or a camera or something, then turned back to Tahnok. "How?"

"Just say it. He's omnipotent."

"Oh. Mister narrator, how did all this happen?"

Suddenly, everything went white and fuzzy, a bit like a memory. Axonn started explaining everything, as the Narrator was currently possessing him.

"It all started about six months ago, a good few years after everything became happy after Makuta Teridax kicked the bucket. The Red Star came crashing down and with it returned hundreds of Toa and Matoran and other beings. Everyone was happy, except for Velika, who accidentally blew himself up while trying to kill a bunch of us.

"Then one day, a team of Toa and Glatorian stumbled across Lesovik. He was lying in the grass with a large needle sticking out of his fleshy parts. One of the Glatorian tried to remove the needle but Lesovik leaped up and bit him. Suddenly we had a team of zombie Toa and Glatorian and they headed off to New Atero to cause havok.

"Many of the Matoran and Agori were eaten very quickly, but some Toa refused to join the zombie forces and helped protect them. Larger beings like me and Brutaka were also affected. I personally chopped off Roodaka's head. That was fun, actually."

Behind him, Brutaka nodded, rubbing his hands together.

"Anyway, the few remaining Agori and Matoran started joining up in large groups, creating an organization called the Matoran/Agori Anti-Zombie Alliance, or MAAZA for short. They spent a lot of time setting up traps to kill their former defenders, or moving from place to place looking for shelter. Around about this time, me and Brutaka began our trip to find more allies to help them, using Vahki and Kraata-less Rahkshi as guards. We attempted to awaken the Bahrag, hoping we could use the Bohrok swarms, but we could not find them. That's when Brutaka found Tahnok-Kal, who was desperate for something to do.

"After some time, we managed to build a series of underground fortresses, the largest of which we called New Ta-Koro, as it was built inside a giant volcano. Unfortunately, during this time, the Glatorian and the Toa worked together to reproduce and create more of themselves. They also decided to lay siege to New Ta-Koro, but since the city is self-sufficient, they have been unsuccessful. That leads us to now, where the small communities outside New Ta-Koro are building an army to take on the monsters. Is that everything, Brutaka?"

There was fire everywhere. Literally everywhere. If it wasn't for Pahrak's shields, everyone's Krana would have melted. Nuhvok checked the GPS device he'd had built in several months ago and according to it, they were in the right place. But there was a LOT of fire.

"Hey, Lehvak?" Tahnok poked his sibling.

"What?"

"Make yourself useful and extinguish the fire, please?"

Lehvak rolled his eyes and created a few vacuum blasts, putting out much of the fire. A few spots were still burning, but not nearly enough for it to be an issue for anyone. Right in front of the Bohrok stood the smoldering remains of a sign that read "Welcome to Teufort!"

"Teufort? Why does that sound familiar?" Gahlok asked.

"Think about it..." Kohrak hinted. "Two... Fort..."

Gahlok scratched his head. "Um... Nope, still don't get it."

Nuhvok grumbled. "The Team Fortress universe. That's where we are. But are we at the right time? It wasn't burnt down last time I was here! In fact, it was a perfectly nice, if somewhat stupid town last time I visited. Then again, I was in the back of a double-cabin truck, pretending I was a dispenser..."

Kohrak and Tahnok glanced at Nuhvok. "What in the name of the Bahrag are you talking about?"

Nuhvok just shrugged. "Nothing. Let's find those mercenar-KOHRAK!"

Kohrak stopped Nuhvok from continuing, tripping him up. Nuhvok was about to go crazy when Kohrak hissed, telling him to shut up. He was trying to hear something, but the flickering flames were impeding on his listening skills. Lehvak quietly put out the last few flames while Kohrak strained to hear whatever it was he was trying to hear. Nuhvok was very tempted to drop a pin on the floor or something, just to mess with him, but a hiss from Pahrak suggested otherwise.

"Um, what is it?" Gahlok asked, breaking the silence.

"Robots..." Kohrak whispered as he pushed past Nuhvok, walking off somewhere. "Lots and lots of robots..."

The other Bohrok stood still for a moment, thoroughly confused, before following him.

"Wait, why are we going off to fight robots?" Gahlok asked, being the mistress of asking questions.

Tahnok wasn't sure either. "I suppose, we could use an army of robotic mercenaries. Saves having to go and, um, er, find the Bahrag and unleash the swarms... That's a point!" He turned to face Nuhvok with a hint of anger. "You owe me a swarm of Tahnok."

"Cheers!" Tahnok grinned as he skipped ahead to where Kohrak was. "You found those robots yet?"

Suddenly, the ground erupted, as if it had heard Tahnok's question and decided to answer it personally. A hole opened up beneath the Bohrok, revealing a large tunnel.

"So THAT's why I couldn't work out where they were!" Kohrak exclaimed as a large number of Pyro Bots charged towards them. But before they could turn on their flame throwers, Gahlok shut them all down with a magnetic blast. Behind the Pyro bots though was something alive. A human. It took off the paper mask before saying something in a foreign language.

"Merde."

"Spy!" Nuhvok cheered as he rushed over and uncharacteristically gave the balaclava-clad Frenchman a hug. "Call me crazy but I missed you a bit!"

"He's crazy..." Kohrak sighed.

"We're all crazy!" Pahrak replied.

Nuhvok ignored his siblings and let go of Spy. "These robots, eh? Causing you a mischief?"

"Of course."

"So do you fancy a change?"

"What sort of change?"

"Well, killing zombies instead of robots?"

"Does it include money? A holiday?"

Nuhvok shrugged and glanced at his brothers for assistance. Tahnok thankfully had a solution.

"We've got several kilos of gold if you want it. It's useless to Matoran and Agori."

Spy's eyes brightened then dimmed. "I'm sorry, mes amis, but there's a robot horde and a different team of mercenaries that needs to be defeated. I cannot leave my team, as much as I despise them, in this time of need."

-Rahkshi GuurahkGENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

Spy stood by the teleporter, eyeing it nervously, memories of bread stirring up in his mind. The Bohrok all picked up on this, but none of them wanted to mention it."I'll go first..." A flash of light, and Spy was gone.

Tahnok shrugged. After a moment and a second flash of light, Spy reappeared. He nodded at the teleporter, signalling for everyone to go through, one at a time. Kohrak went first, just to annoy Nuhvok. They took a bit of time to all go through, but they were glad they did.

"Everybody through?" Engineer asked.

Spy did a quick body count. Six Bohrok and himself. "Yes."

"Good." Engineer pulled out a controller, then blew up the teleporter. He then collected up the scrap metal and placed it on a big pile of exploded teleporter parts behind him. All around was mostly blank concrete walls, occasionally separated by the odd random doorway, air vent or random set of pipes which don't actually seem to go anywhere.

"Lovely place you have here..." Nuhvok murmured.

"Danke!" Medic popped up from behind a corner. "Nuhvok! Good to see you again!" In a rather non-Medic way, Medic rushed over and gave Nuhvok a giant hug. In an equally non-Nuhvok way, Nuhvok hugged him back.

"They did." Spy seemed angry as always. "Anyway, to business. In the current, robot fighting climate, we cannot risk sending our entire team over to your world to help you. We need everyone here to defend all these ###### hat and weapon factories. But if you can take out all the robots over at Big Rock, we can spare some time to help you."

"So, just fight some robots?"

"Pretty much."

Kohrak glanced at his brothers. They all glanced back at him.

"Sounds easy!" Lehvak grinned.

"What, fighting hundreds and hundreds of robots?" Pahrak mocked.

"They're made out of metal. Gahlok's a giant magnet. This will be easy."

"Alright!" Kohrak grinned. "Just point us in the right direction!"

Engineer also grinned. He pointed to a teleporter in the corner of the room. "Good luck!"

Within a few minutes, the team of Bohrok, minus Nuhvok, were gathered around in the 'spawn room' of Big Rock. There were two upgrade stations but little else. Outside was a large open space, with a bomb hatch plopped in the middle and more buildings leading to a cave in the distance. Scattered around were floating health and ammo packs, but they weren't going to need them.

"So, um, what's the plan again?" Pahrak asked.

"Simple!" Tahnok jumped up onto a rock to illustrate his point. He didn't need to but it made him feel leader-y. "Gahlok's going to stay here and create a magnetic shield to repel robots and stop them dropping bombs down that hatch. Lehvak will catch and destroy any stragglers. Pahrak and Kohrak and I will bottleneck the robots up ahead..."

"What about all the money?" Lehvak randomly blew up a straggling robot and a pile of cash flew out.

"I'll get the money..." Tahnok sighed.

The robots slowly started to arrive. A trickle first, but, like someone turning on a tap, it steadily increased until there were literally hundreds of ###### Scout Robots everywhere. And Soldier robots. And just loads of robots in general. Thankfully, none of them could make it past the giant magnetic shield that Gahlok was projecting.

"They should make them out of plastic or something..." Gahlok laughed.

"Don't give them ideas!" Tahnok snapped as he fell out of the spawn room, trying to close the door to stop all the money he'd collected from falling out. "Who in the name of Mata Nui powers robots with cash anyway?"

"Someone with too much of it..." Kohrak tutted as he disintegrated yet another giant Heavy. "But these robots don't seem to be slowing down. We need to slow them down or something!"

"Hey guys, what did I miss?!" Nuhvok popped up out of thin air. Immediately, Kohrak grabbed him and started telling him what to do. He had an idea.

"Got it?"

"So basically, I just need to grab all those Sentry Busters, gather them up, throw them all by the entrance where the robots are coming from and then get Pahrak to detonate them?"

"Yes."

"Like this?" Nuhvok taunted as he started gathering up the Sentry Busters.

"Yes..." Kohrak face-palmed as the Sentry Busters all blew up, just as he'd calculated. Nuhvok did a silly little dance, while the others cheered. "Wait, where's Tahnok?"

Tahnok dug his way out of the spawn room. The doors would no longer shut as there was so much money in there. "Sorry, I was digging a tunnel through all the cash to the teleporter since there's so much of it. Did we win?"

"Yup!" Pahrak joined in with Nuhvok's silly dance.

"Alright guys, let's head back and tell everyone the good news!" Kohrak smiled.

The portal opened up and out of it stepped everyone's least favourite team of Bohrok. Brutaka gave the lot of them a funny look as he realised they'd come back pretty much empty handed, except for the piles of scrap metal they'd brought along with them. Axonn got straight to the point.

"What in Mata Nui's name is all that rubbish?" he sneered.

Gahlok dumped the heaps of metal on the floor around Axonn. "Ask Kohrak." So that's what Axonn did.

"Kohrak-Kal, what's all this rubbish?"

Kohrak ignored the tiny titan. That was a bad oxymoron but Kohrak didn't really care. He cared more about the heaps of junk that he'd ordered his siblings to carry for him. Oh and the pile of money that Tahnok had brought back. He couldn't actually spend the money on anything here in Spherus Magna, he just liked it. Tahnok and Lehvak liked it too so they were happy. He asked Nuhvok to help him carry the scrap to the Matoran's weapon workshop, walking straight passed an incredibly annoyed Axonn and Brutaka. So they turned to Tahnok, who was still pulling $5 notes out of his head.

"Oh, that?"

"Yes, that."

Tahnok shrugged. "Kohrak thought we could rebuild those Team Fortress robots and use them to fight the Toa."

Brutaka also shrugged. "Huh. Sounds reasonable to me."

"SO WHY DIDN'T HE SAY SO?" Axonn stomped.

"He's just weird like that..." Tahnok shrugged again. "We're machines programmed to emulate human emotion, you've got to expect a couple of quirks here and there. Any good news here?"

Brutaka's eyes lit up. "Ah yes! We caught one. We almost caught two, but the other ones ran away."

"Who did you catch?" Lehvak asked as he threw money into the air and at Axonn. Axonn at this point nearly exploded and just walked off, looking for something to smash. Lehvak joined in with the shrugging.

"Kopaka."

"WHAT?" Lehvak and Tahnok both jumped. "Kopaka, as in, the Toa Nuva, Kopaka?"

"Do you know any other Kopakas?" Brutaka tutted. "Yes, THE Kopaka. The real deal. But he was ever so weak when we got him. The other Toa weren't. And I don't even know what the brown thing they were fighting was."

"Brown thing? And can we see him?" Lehvak exclaimed. "I wanna see him. Actually, I want to punch him but we can do that later."

"Sure, follow me."

Lehvak chased after Brutaka. Tahnok hesitated, looking around to make sure that Kohrak was keeping Gahlok, Nuhvok and Pahrak busy, then followed.

Kopaka's cage was hot and humid. It was literally a furnace, set up to keep the zombie Toa of ice weak. Not that they needed it though, as Kopaka's left arm had been almost literally torn away.

"Can I go in and see him?" Lehvak asked. But before Brutaka could answer, the Bohrok had already made its way in and was looking at the fallen Toa. "Hi, Kopaka! How you feeling?"

"Hungry. And in pain." Seeing Kopaka this close was almost painful. His body, both organic and mechanical, was covered in hideous cuts and scars. He had been suffering before he'd even been captured. "There's only so much pain one can endure."

I love this! This is my type of comedy(no cussing, many references and RANDOMNESS!). My favorite character is Lehvak! I USED to play team fortress 2, but can't for reasons.. I still play minecraft though. I also have a brother who has Saints Row:The Third and Skyrim! I also LOVE Bionicle!

P.S. I even know the matoran alphabet by heart and can name basically any Bionicle mask off the top of my head!

P.P.S. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Edited by tokytot, Jul 04 2014 - 01:35 PM.

0

'Sup guys! I am The Tokytot, and I'm not dead!

I'm concerned that

a. Those Matoran are barfing water

b. A mask is recommending frozen bananas.

"Ever tried a frozen banana? No? Well, then you should." ~ The Tokytot

"Wait, Pohatu was that large brown monster?" Brutaka didn't expect that. "Our intel said he was dead..."

Oh great.... =P

0

-Rahkshi GuurahkGENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

I love this! This is my type of comedy(no cussing, many references and RANDOMNESS!). My favorite character is Lehvak! I USED to play team fortress 2, but can't for reasons.. I still play minecraft though. I also have a brother who has Saints Row:The Third and Skyrim! I also LOVE Bionicle!

"I'd like to personally thank you for your spoilers..." Kohrak tutted as he readied up the Olmak to travel to his next intended location. "Also, you might want to calm down on the emoticons a bit."

"What do you mean?" Gahlok asked. "All he did was state the games that he and his brother like to play, which are nigh identical to the games that Phovos the Raptor plays. She even has a 92% completion rate for Saints Row the Third!"

"You'll see in a minute..."

Gahlok scratched his head. "Are we not taking Tahnok with us? Or Lehvak?"

Kohrak cursed, turned off the Olmak and reactivated, not having got the right location. "They've got other things to do. They're off to try and catch Pohatu while you, Pahrak, Nuhvok and I are heading off to get more people to help us fight. Tahnok's suggestion and I agree. Don't need all six of us to sort this stuff out."

"We ready?" Pahrak asked as he popped up out of nowhere. Kohrak glared at him, then nodded.

"Oh good. This next place sounds cool."

"Where are we going?" Gahlok was really confused. The Olmak portal opened up and Nuhvok stuck his head through to have a look. It was clearly some sort of city.

"Steelport!" Pahrak grinned.

Elsewhere, Lehvak and Tahnok were busy preparing Kopaka. The idea was to use the zombie Toa as bait to lure the other zombie monster Toa thing out so they could capture both of them. Or something like that. Really, all they needed to do was make sure Tahnok could get close enough to teleport Pohatu, if it really was Pohatu, into the specially built cage they'd made.

"This is a stupid idea..." Axonn grumbled. "We should just kill Kopaka and kill this monster and leave it at that."

Brutaka slapped his partner on the shoulder. "Don't be so boring and nasty and pointless. With Kopaka captured, we can interrogate him and learn more about the zombie Toa threat."

"Or the zombie Toa will come back in swarms to retrieve one of their most powerful Ice Toa..."

"You know that the Toa Nuva that aren't Gali or Tahu are not really desirable, right? I mean, our intel said they were quite happy to kill Pohatu..."

"But our intel is wrong..."

"Oh both of you stop arguing, you're like old ladies!" Lehvak laughed as he readied a hastily made net-shooting gun. He glanced over to Tahnok to see if he was ready, and the Bohrok of electricity replied with a nod. He tugged at a lead, forcing Kopaka to follow them. Once the two Bohrok and the zombie Toa disappeared down the tunnel, Brutaka sealed the tunnel up, just in case.

Lehvak jumped with excitement for literally no reason. "I forgot I had night vision!" He excitedly turned it on. "Ah, much better!" Kopaka though remained silent. Tahnok was certain that he could see just fine, so no need to worry about that. They walked about 750m, and the tunnel opened out into more of a cave.

"Not at all..." Tahnok explained. "Um... It's just that I don't know how big this creature is and I'd like to see you try and teleport an unknown size over large distances... Did you hear that?"

"Hear wha-"

Tahnok placed a hand-shield over Lehvak's mouth. Kopaka had started cowering behind the pair of them. There was something in the shadows ahead, looking right at them.

"That's a convenient time to switch back to us!" Pahrak smiled as the four Bohrok walked through the streets of Steelport. Literally no one had noticed them, despite everyone here being utterly human and all that. The occasional car would drive up onto the curb and run a couple of people over, but the odd magnetic or gravity shield from Gahlok and Nuhvok stopped any more needless bloodshed. They spent a long time not knowing where they were going, until they accidentally walked past a place called Planet Saints.

"A clothes shop!" Gahlok squealed with glee. "Can we go in?"

Kohrak shrugged. "Yeah. We could ask them for directions, I guess..." But before he could even finish his sentence, Gahlok had rushed in, asked for directions, bought three dresses and a rather worrying piece of lingerie, then reappeared in front of the others. Pahrak and Kohrak scratched their heads in confusion, while Nuhvok resisted the temptation of mocking his brother. There was too much metal around there for Gahlok to use should he have retaliated.

"Bit late for that!" Nuhvok joked repeatedly as they walked around the corner. Ahead of them was a large road. At the end, to the right, was a tall building dressed in purple lights. It had to be the place. Their suspicions were confirmed when someone wearing red was thrown off the top of the building. Whoever they were, they hit the ground and burst into a shower of blood and guts. Kohrak slapped Nuhvok for not trying to save the person, but Nuhvok just said that they'd have already been dead already. Kohrak apologised and headed inside.

There just happened to be one elevator in the building. The four Bohrok walked up and stepped inside.

"Pent house?"

"Sure."

Pahrak pressed the button and they zoomed up the building. There was a brief moment of wondering why they didn't just use their powers to get up there, but that discussion was interrupted by the doors opening. There were lots of guns being pointed at them.

"What should we do with them, boss?"

"What should we do, Kohrak?"

Kohrak put his hands in the air. "We're not here to hurt anyone or anything, we just want to talk."

The men and women all looked back at the 'boss', who looked actually rather familiar, as if they had visited somewhere familiar before. The boss nodded and everyone put their weapons down so they weren't pointing directly at the Bohrok.

"You don't work for any of the other gangs, do you? Not some sort of machine thing or something?"

"Nope!" Kohrak decided it'd be best to explain as quickly as possible. "We're from another world. We're just jumping around universes trying to recruit people to help us fight a horde of zombies."

"Is there money involved? Or fire?"

"Money, we've got a ton of gold, if you want it. Fire, not so much."

The boss stroked her chin, which was hidden underneath a giant, bobblehead-like Team Fortress 2 Pyro mask. "Nah, we'll pass."

"Why?"

The boss opened up a large box and pulled out a flamethrower. "There's a reason why they call me the Saints Row Pyro!" The maniac human laughed as she turned on the flamethrower and chased the Bohrok out onto the helipad on the front of the building.

"You're a bloody maniac! Guys, play defensive, we don't want to kill anyone!" Kohrak ordered as they edged backwards until there was no more space to edge backwards on. Nuhvok decided to take things into his own hands and pushed everyone off the edge, grabbing them with a gravity bubble. The Saints Row Pyro responded by getting into a helicopter and firing rockets at them.

As the rockets exploded harmlessly around them, the four Bohrok decided to head home. Turns out the Saints weren't interested. Kohrak created an Olmak portal and they disappeared back home.

"Oh hey guys!" Tahnok grinned. "Look who we found!"

The four Bohrok's jaws all dropped and hit the ground.

"Hello again, Bohrok!" Pohatu, or what might have been Pohatu, smiled.

Great chapter, I had a feeling it was gonna have Saints Row when they first said Saints. By the way, did you know that flibbertigibbet is a real word? It's also my favorite word. Spell-checker doesn't even underline it!

P.S. Meow!

Edited by tokytot, Jul 05 2014 - 12:56 PM.

0

'Sup guys! I am The Tokytot, and I'm not dead!

I'm concerned that

a. Those Matoran are barfing water

b. A mask is recommending frozen bananas.

"Ever tried a frozen banana? No? Well, then you should." ~ The Tokytot

-Rahkshi GuurahkGENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

"Wait what?" Kohrak exclaimed as everything went all wibbly and wobbly.

...

It was a cave similar to that in which they were all hiding, but this cave was near a large number of proto- and antidermis pools. Pohatu had been hiding there for a week. He knew they were after him and he knew they were probably going to hurt him quite a lot. The only thing he had to keep him company was a Macku plushie that he'd found in the remains of New Atero. That and a bag full of Rahi guts. He needed to sustain himself somehow.

Everything had happened so fast. One infected Toa, then ten infected Glatorian, then every bloody Toa-sized being, stuck with an illness that made them want to consume vast amounts of flesh, no matter what. Oh and there was the side effect of being, well, undead. Their heartlights had died a long time ago. So had all their sanity. Almost every infected being had lost their minds. And let's not forget the other, more grown up things going on behind closed doors.

The Toa Nuva had done their best to fight back but they were all infected literally within the first day. Yes, even Pohatu was infected. He'd held out for the longest though, knocking out anything that tried to bite him and running as fast as he could. But as the infection spread, he ran out of places to hide. Gali seemed to enjoy tearing into Pohatu's neck. She even mentioned how tasty he was and asked if she could eat all of him. Tahu though said that Lhikan needed him.

But even though Pohatu was infected, he still refused to kill. It reached a point where they'd locked him up and tried to feed him bits of Matoran. That's when Pohatu escaped. And now he's stuck here. The other Toa aren't far behind, and with Tahu gone or dead or whatever, there's nothing stopping Gali and her evil ways.

Pohatu backed up against the wall, a sudden flurry of panic coming over him. Even while Tahu was infected, he had some sort of restraint. Once Gali got ill, she turned into a monster.A nasty, spiny, horny one. They'd all turned into monsters, Hordika even, but some Toa turned more than others.

Something banged behind him. They were here. A gust of wind knocked Pohatu back, but it was the earth opening up beneath him, followed by a sudden rush of water that caught him.

Gali spun around and glared at Kopaka, who cowered slightly, making a small meep noise. She slapped him across the mask before turning back to Pohatu. "Nope. I'm not being harsh enough. So, Pohatu, made your decision?"

There was little use fighting. Pohatu was too weak to fight all four of his siblings. But he wasn't going to give up and become a monster. "Sorry, sister, you're going to have to kill me..." As he spoke, he made the ceiling move, dropping a lot of rocks on an unsuspecting Onua.

"GET HIM!"

Pohatu dodged and weaved through Lewa's and Kopaka's attacks. They both seemed to be hesitating. Gali though was throwing everything she had at him, while trying her best to not outright kill the other Toa.

"I-I c-can't..." Kopaka put his sword down, refusing to continue the fight. Gali responded by beating the snot out of him, before turning back to face Pohatu, who had only just managed to fend off Lewa. While he managed to avoid Gali's water bursts, a wave of water sent him flying into Onua's claws. The three remaining evil Toa laughed.

"What should I do with him, Gali? Beat him to death?"

"No, I have a better idea..." Using her water powers, she mixed up a couple of the pools of protodermis and antidermis that were scattered around, combining them into a single pool. "Throw him in that."

Onua did as he was told and before Pohatu could retaliate, he found himself sinking down within the horrible metallic liquid. The last thought that went through his mind was that he'd failed.

Gali, Onua and Lewa waited around the pool, making doubly sure that their brother was dead. There was some suggestion of throwing Kopaka in the pool as well, but Lewa and Onua didn't like that idea. After about ten minutes, they decided to leave. None of them noticed the strange skin forming on top of the pool of antiprotodermis.

...

It must have been a long time, but Pohatu finally managed to claw his way to the surface. Somehow, he'd survived. The liquid had mutated him into some sort of hideous monster, but he was alive. No matter what he was though, he was no longer a Toa. He was no longer bound by Toa laws. That was his cue to kill every single Toa he meets.

...

"So that's it?" Nuhvok laughed. "That's so lame."

"Better than your story of working for RED and BLU..." Lehvak tutted. "So you're killing Toa now. Don't you feel bad about that?"

"Did you feel bad about not being good children for your Bahrag when they betrayed you?" Pohatu retaliated.

"Good point..." Lehvak fell silent, before popping up with another question. "So how many Toa have you killed?"

-Rahkshi GuurahkGENERATION 3: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.If I actually tried putting all the stuff I like on here, the sig would burst.

"Go away." Kohrak was reading a newspaper. No one knew where he got it from, but he was reading it and he didn't like being interrupted. Everything had gone on haitus, especially this comedy, while people tried to sort out real life things and stuff like that. Since they left off, all they'd done is fix up the city, scout things out and try to cure Kopaka. Technically, only a day had gone by, but it was the slowest day ever ever ever. It'd been horrible. This tapping on Kohrak's shoulder was horrible too. "GO AWAY!"

"You've got to see this!" It was Nuhvok. Kohrak expected it to be Lehvak, but oh well.

"What?"

"Look."

"WHAT?"

Nuhvok thrust the small device into Kohrak's hand-shields. It had a screen on it. Kohrak recognised this screen, Nuhvok had showed it to him loads of times, suggesting they go to 'hero factory world' to recruit things. But this time the screen was different.

"I don't get it..." Kohrak shrugged.

Nuhvok rolled his eyes. "Dude! Bionicle is coming back!"

After a second of everything sinking in, Kohrak leaped out of his seat, grabbed Nuhvok and ran off to find his other siblings.

"So, um, what now?" Gahlok asked.

"WE CARRY ON WITH THE PLAN!" Kohrak's mood had completely altered. He was jumping about looking for the Olmak. After much frantic stuff, Tahnok opened up the one cupboard that Kohrak had missed, pulled out the mask and handed it to him, a small smile on his face. With his hands on the Olmak, Kohrak calmed down enough to answer the bewildered looks on his siblings faces. "We carry on with the plan. We get more beings to fight with us. We cure Kopaka. We get to New Ta-Koro. We kill zombie Toa. I can't tell you any more because that would ruin the plot for the dear readers."

"Readers? Pah! No one reads this!" Lehvak growled.

"I do..." Pahrak put his hand up meekly. "It's fun reliving the past. Like when I was dumber than I am now."

"Yeah, now I'm the moron!" Gahlok sniffed. Tahnok placed an arm around his back.

"Don't fret, brother. At least you didn't fall in love with a Rahkshi then get shoved into a parallel universe like some sort of nincowpoop."

Gahlok grinned. "Good point! No one's as stupid as Tahnok!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Yeah! Tahnok's a moron!" Lehvak jumped in, only to be electrocuted. "Ow."

Kohrak punched Lehvak in the face, then described the next step of his amazing plan. They had a new place to visit.

"But what about Axonn and Brutaka?" Tahnok suddenly blurted. "Didn't they say that they were cancelling everything and locking everything down after Kopaka broke loose and ate someone then collapsed into a pile of tears because he felt so bad about what he'd done?"

Everyone stared at Tahnok. After a moment of silence, everyone laughed.

Kohrak glared at Gahlok, muttered a no, then continued trying to get the mask to work. Nothing was happening. There was angry banging on the door outside the room. Sounded like Axonn banging on the door. Then suddenly, just as a large axe blade burst through the door, the mask burst into life.

"Here we go!" Nuhvok shouted as the six Bohrok disappeared and reappeared on a new world.

Kohrak leaped up and looked around. The terrain was unusual. Grassy and rather pretty. The Bohrok were sitting in a stream, but couldn't see much more than about 10 meters in front of them.

"I think Kohrak accidentally left him behind..." Gahlok shivered. "He's going to have to deal with Axonn on his own!"

"He'll be fine!" Nuhvok grunted. "Tahnok's always fine. He's got this unique thing of always getting up again no matter how many times you beat him up."

"SHUSH!" Kohrak put a hand in the air. There was something moving in the actually-incredibly-stupidly-large bushes ahead of them. Suddenly, an anthropomorphic cat wearing a mechanical eye patch and carrying some pretty sharp blades charged out of the bushes at them. It only took a flick of Nuhvok's wrists though to send the giant thing crashing into the ground, then against a wall, then against the ground, then into another wall, before throwing the bloodied body back into the bush.

The other Bohrok gave Nuhvok a funny look, but before anyone could say anything, they were interrupted by more voices. There were more beings of all shapes and sizes coming at them in all different directions. On one side, heading out of the bush where the giant cat had come from, were two humans, a male with two guns and a female in bight shiny sun armor, Some sort of humanoid thing in mechanical stuff and what looked like a rodent with a blowpipe. On the other side...

"How in the name of Mata Nui did THAT fit inside that bush!?!" Gahlok exclaimed as a large, alien monster stomped past them, making the ground rupture beneath the humans, before roaring at the mechanical thing. This was followed up by what looked like a barrage of spit and blasts of purple, which took out the rodent and finished off the female human. A beam of red energy kept the male human in one place while a second barrage of spit took it out. All that was left was the mechanical one, which was pounced on by a giant purple insect thing which continued tearing at the limp, lifeless body for quite a while.

The other beings that had assisted the monster appeared around the Bohrok, who couldn't seem to say much past "what in Karzhani..." One of them was human. The others, goodness knows.

"Kha'Zix!" the human shouted.

The grasshopper was still tearing at that body, ignoring the human.

"KHA'ZIX!" the alien monster roared, making the ground shake slightly. "Kha'Zix" stopped and turned to face the others, before leaping off in the direction the other team had come from. The monsters stomped by, followed by the human.

"I'm gonna go follow them!" Nuhvok grinned.

"Are they on our side?" Gahlok asked.

"No idea, but they look awesome!" Nuhvok chased off after them. Gahlok glanced at Kohrak, who nodded that they should follow them. After a few steps, they came across a crossroads, with the river continuing ahead and a wide, grassy path cutting across it. One way was defended by a statue of some sort, while the other path was sewn with chaos. It was obvious where the monsters had gone. Trotting down the damaged path, it was clear that there had been similar turrets down here too, but they'd been destroyed. Eventually, everything opened up, and the Bohrok found the monsters pounding on an over-sized crystal. After a few moments, it exploded, showering them with confetti. The humans, who appeared to be alive again somehow, ran off into the distance.

"Good game, gentleman!" the largest monster clapped its two claw hands. One of the monsters, with tendrils and four eyes, span around in glee. The human nodded in agreement, then turned to face the Bohrok.

"We appreciate your assistance in taking out Rengar, but what are minions like you doing in the jungle?"

"MINIONS? WHY I OUGHTA..." Lehvak got all angry, but Kohrak grabbed him and started talking.

"Sorry, I think you have us confused, we're not minions and we're not from here! Actually, we're kinda lost... Where are we?"

"Summoner's Rift. My name is Malzahar. What are you if you are not minions?"

Kohrak shrugged. "We're Bohrok. We're from what one would call the Bionicle universe. We're jumping around finding people willing to help us kill zombie Toa."

"I'll just pretend I understood what you just said..." Pahrak sighed, as Kohrak readied the Olmak and opened up a portal. After a couple of seconds of Kohrak angrily shaking the mask, a portal opened up and everyone filed through. They were greeted by a very angry Axonn, who happened to be holding a rather shaken Tahnok by the foot.

Axonn dropped Tahnok-Kal head first onto the ground. He was furious. Absolutely furious. These Bohrok dared to not follow his orders and now he was going to punish them. With lots of pain and... "ARGH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

One of the creatures the Bohrok had brought with them had fired a laser at him, burning his armour. That really, really annoyed Axonn.

"Hm. Interesting. Biomechanical. Not pure mechanics like these Bohrok. Reasons as to what could cause an undead infection are now more clear."

The Bohrok all glanced at Vel'Koz, as did Malzahar.

"You always like that?" Pahrak asked.

"Yes..." Cho'Gath grunted. "Is your version of Darius supposed to have a gaping wound on his wrist?"

"What's a Darius?" Pahrak didn't get it.

"He is a human with a large axe who likes to kill people. Much like that being there."

"Is he a good guy? Axonn's a good guy. Mostly..." Pahrak shrugged.

The awkward conversation was interrupted by the appearance of Makuta Nidhiki and Pohatu. Without a word, they whacked Axonn in the back of the head, knocking him out, then dragged him off towards where they kept Kopaka. No one said anything while this was happening, they were simply too flabbergasted to do so. After a couple of minutes, someone finally spoke.

"What in the name of Threa just happened?"

"BLOODY BAHRAG!" Gahlok jumped out of his mechanical skin. The other Bohrok all laughed. Apart from Tahnok, who was unconscious.

Veekay crossed his arms. "Eh, I'm alright. What are those beings behind you? Apart from the blatantly human one..."

"Everyone always says that!" Malzahar stormed off in a huff. Kog'Maw blindly followed him, because that's what Kog'Maw does.

"Because he's stupid," Cho'Gath added.

"Because he's stupid..." the Narrator sighed. The other Void beings just sort of crossed their arms as best as they could, tricky when you have four of them or happen to have scythes for hands. In fact, Vel'Koz was the only one to cross his arms in a meaningful way.

Veekay blinked, unsure what to say. It seemed as though everyone here was even more insane than expected. He stood there in silence then decided to change the subject. "Bohrok, when are you planning on attacking?"

Nuhvok prodded Kohrak, hoping to provoke an answer, but all he got was a shrug. The other Bohrok were of no help either.

"Soon?" Lehvak replied, not being helpful in the slightest.

Lehvak's unhelpfulness was interrupted by sobbing. Really loud sobbing. It was coming from the same place where Nidhiki and Pohatu took Axonn. Concerned, the Bohrok headed over, bringing their new friends with them but leaving Tahnok behind because he was still bloody unconscious. Kohrak worried that maybe he'd suffered a bad head injury, but there was no time now, the sobbing was more important.

They finally arrived and Axonn was tied up, sitting next to Kopaka, who was too scared to go near the flailing mini titan. Pohatu looked all angry, but Nidhiki had a sad look on his face. He glanced around, checking that Brutaka wasn't there, before speaking.

"Bad news."

"We noticed!" Lehvak interrupted, only to be punched in the face by Nuhvok. At least Nuhvok had the decency to know when to shut up.

Nidhiki coughed, the continued. "When Kopaka escaped, he bit Axonn. Axonn got infected and didn't tell anyone. Pohatu noticed a change in Axonn's scent and his behavior and notified me. We captured him and put him here with Kopaka."

"Won't Kopaka eat him?" Gahlok asked.

"No because he's infected. Infected never eat one another."

"Is there anything we can do for Axonn apart from killing him?" Tahnok had finally rejoined the conversation and the story as a whole. "That serum we were working on, maybe that wou-"

"AXONN NOOOOOOOO!"

Brutaka had arrived. He stomped past everyone and bashed on the side of the chamber which kept Kopaka and Axonn contained, kicking Tahnok away in the process. Before Tahnok passed out yet again, he wondered why everyone always took their frustration out on him.

"Actually, before I was so rudely interrupted..." Nidhiki interrupted. "Tahnok does have a point. While the serum we had all been working on before had always failed, now we have all these strange beings, particularly the more science-y people... And we have Pohatu."

"What about me?" Pohatu tilted his head to one side, very confused.

"You're immune to the virus, aren't you?"

"Um... I think so... But... Um... Science..."

Suddenly, Kohrak appeared, holding the Olmak and the hand of the BLU Medic.

"Alright everyone, clear the area! Let the science people get to work!" Nuhvok shouted as he used his gravity powers to push everyone but Nidhiki, Pohatu, Medic and Vel'Koz away. "Smart guys doing work here!"

Vel'Koz scratched his head. Um. Eye. Thing. "How will I be able to help? I may be vastly intelligent but-"

"Exactly!" Nuhvok exclaimed. "You've seen undead and infected people and stuff before, right?"

"Yes but-"

Medic suddenly interrupted. "I know vhat to do. Give me a lab, vhatever vork you have currently on on your serum and an hour! I've seen zhis before!"

"Right this way!" Nidhiki hissed. He led Medic off to a small shack. Pohatu and Vel'Koz followed out of curiosity, leaving Nuhvok alone with Axonn and Kopaka.

The two infected beings were just staring at one another. Occasionally, Axonn would growl and Kopaka would whimper. Otherwise they just stood there in silence, waiting for Medic to come back. Nuhvok tried to start conversation with them but, well, neither of them spoke. After an hour, Kopaka finally broke the silence. He did so by bursting into tears.

"I HATE BEING INFECTED I HATE ALL THIS I WISH THIS HAD NEVER HAPPENED I HATE TAHU AND GALI IT'S ALL GALI'S FAULT I JUST WANT A REBOOT OR SOMETHING SO I CAN GO BACK TO BEING A COLD ICE-GUY WITH A COOL SHIELD AND SWORD! WHY CAN'T I BE AS AWESOME AS POHATU?"

Nuhvok blinked. Axonn just stood there, his jaw hanging open.

"Sorry..." Kopaka apologized. "I have wanted to get that off my chest since I was infected. You have no idea how depressed I am."

"It's okay..." Nuhvok inched his way into the cage. He felt sorry for Kopaka. It was like when Scout started screaming about never having been out with a 'real woman', except Nuhvok could actually relate to Kopaka. He cautiously put an arm around Kopaka, only to find his arm was too short. So he just tapped Kopaka on the shoulder instead. "We'll fix this."

"No offense, Nuhvok, but you and your team are morons!" Axonn growled.

With a flick of his wrist, Nuhvok knocked Axonn over. "Ah, please do shut up. Us 'morons' have done WAY more than any of you guys have. Where in the name of the Bahrag would you be without Tahnok helping you? I'll tell you, you'd be f-Oh, hiya Medic!"

Medic coughed. He had one arm behind his back, as if he was hiding something. "Who vants to go first?"

Axonn pointed at Kopaka. Kopaka pointed at Axonn. Nuhvok also pointed at Axonn.

"Alright! Democracy!" Medic grinned as he stuck the needle into an organic part of Axonn's neck. Axonn screamed with pain then keeled over for a moment, before suddenly waking up. "And how do you feel?"

Axonn stared at his hands. "Um. Less angry."

Medic stuck the needle into Axonn's neck again. "How about now?"

Once again, Axonn screamed, keeled over then woke up. "Wow, I feel great!"

Medic grinned. "Good. Now just let Pohatu sniff you to see if you're completely cured."

Pohatu hesitated, then climbed into the cage. Nuhvok assured him that he'd make sure that Axonn didn't hit him or anything. Axonn held out his arm, where he'd been bitten, and Pohatu sniffed. After a few rather awkward moments, Pohatu lifted his head up and smiled.

"Congratulations. You are no longer a zombie."

"DO ME PLEASE DO ME I DON'T WANT TO BE A ZOMBIE ANY MORE!" Kopaka suddenly squealed in excitement.

Medic disappeared, only to reappear with a fresh syringe. Kopaka willingly held an arm out.

"Um, just so you know, I have no idea how much is too much..." Medic admitted.

Kopaka smiled. There was a weird look in his eye. "That's fine. I just want to go back to being normal."

"I think what Medic is trying to say is that this might kill you!" Nuhvok jumped in. "I mean, it didn't kill Axonn because Medic used a smaller dose and Axonn is nigh unkillable. But you..."

"Just do it!"

"Fine..."

Medic jabbed the needle into Kopaka's arm, then stepped back. For a moment, Kopaka just stood there, as if he was frozen. Then he froze himself literally, encasing himself in ice. The ice frosted up, rendering the Toa inside unable to be seen. A couple of minutes passed before anyone said anything. No one said anything even when the crystal exploded, revealing a perfectly fine Kopaka. Kopaka sighed.

"Are none of you going to say anything?"

"Nope." Pohatu simply walked over to Kopaka and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm so glad you're back."

"Good!" Medic interrupted. "Now I can vork on making zhis antidote airborne!"

Axonn too was enthusiastic. "Maybe we can finally put this insane plan into action. How much time do you need to make vast quantities of that stuff, doctor?"

Medic counted on his fingers. "Hm... Now I have zhis working, I vould assume about... Five hours? Ja, five hours."

"So, this is it?" Lehvak-Kal perched on the edge of the cliff, staring at the trapped city of New Ta-Koro below. It was surrounded by hordes of undead Glatorian and Toa.

"I guess so..." Nuhvok-Kal replied. "After so much waiting, we're finally going to be allowed to go on that Toa-killing rampage we always wanted. For a good cause of course. Those zombie Toa need to be cured or exterminated. I ought to pause and say that this was a very, very long five or so hours."

"Funny how the other beings used to feel the same about us..." Lehvak tutted. "But here we are, standing side by side with Brutaka and Axonn, having gathered beings from other universes to help us fight. Insane, right?"

Nuhvok nodded. "Still, it's been fun."

Behind them, Tahnok-Kal popped into existence. If he could have had a look on his face, it would have been stern, with a hint of worry. But Tahnok still hadn't worked out how to do facial expressions. "It's time."

"Finally!" Nuhvok would have grinned if he could. Instead, he grabbed Lehvak and the three of them teleported to the trenches, where everyone else was standing, ready to attack. The charge would be led by Axonn, Pohatu, Pahrak and the monstrous Cho'Gath, with back-up in the form of the Threavok that Veekay had brought along. Gahlok and the Engineer were covering the flanks. Kohrak was in charge of the sniper squad, coupled with Sniper and Arkay. Nuhvok had made some last minute arrangements and managed to bring in a couple of Dovah, dragons from the realm of Tamriel, to offer air support, while Kopaka and the remaining Matoran and Agori, as well as a small group of Rahkshi and Vahki, Kog'Maw, Kha'Zix and everyone else who had tagged along, acted as the bulk of the army, protecting Lehvak, Medic and Vel'Koz.

They had the important job. Built on a moving platform was a huge device from which healing gas spewed, that would heal every downed zombie Toa or Glatorian. Lehvak was powering this machine. The plan was simple, fight their way to New Ta-Koro, surprising the attacking hordes from behind, curing as many undead as possible.

"And what's Tahnok going to be doing throughout all of this?" Pahrak interrupted as Brutaka explained everything.

"I'll be teleporting people off the field, healing them up and getting them back in there."

"Oh, okay... So that;s it?"

"Pretty much. Is everyone prepared?"

"We've been preparing since October. We're ready."

Brutaka smiled uneasily. Everyone headed off, into their positions. Flares fired ahead from New Ta-Koro, signalling for them to attack.

Axonn, Pohatu and Cho'Gath charged forward. The first casualty was an unlucky Toa who was half-devoured by Cho'Gath. A Glatorian was smashed to bits by Axonn's axe, while Pohatu tore three other Glatorian apart. Pahrak, perched on Cho'Gath's back, neutralized a couple of incoming water Toa. Anything that got past them was instantly destroyed by the Threavok warriors or disintegrated and crushed by Nuhvok and his squad of dragons. Every Glatorian or Toa downed by them was revived by Lehvak and his team. Unorganized and starved, the Toa/Glatorian hordes quickly scattered... Until THEY appeared.

"We wondered when you'd come back, Kopaka! And Pohatu, long time no see, you pathetic swine!" Gali seemed rather angry. The kind, wise being that she used to be was long gone, replaced by a cruel, heartless witch. By her side were Onua, Lewa and Ta-

"BULLSEYE!"

"Nice shot!" Kohrak congratulated Sniper on his excellent as always marksmanship. A second shot took out Onua. The Toa of air, seeing what had just happened to his best friends, simply gave up and walked off, leaving Gali on her own to face Pohatu and Kopaka.

"You were saying, sister?"

Gali sneered. She wasn't through yet. She reached down to Tahu and pulled something from his back. A mask. "Stand back, or I will destroy all of time."

Pohatu backed off, while Kopaka stood his ground. "Gali, you cannot be serious."

"No!" Kopaka remained firm. There was no way he was going to harm the only brother he could stand spending long amounts of time with.

"Fine. Say good bye to existence as you know it."

Gali placed the Vahi on her face and immediately started overflowing with power. Beams of water and light threw Kopaka and Pohatu away, knocking aside swathes of both zombies and living beings alike. Allies brought in from elsewhere disappeared, changed or faded away. Gali clearly had no control over what she was doing. It seemed like nothing could halt Gali's destructive power.

Suddenly, everything stopped. Gali blinked. The Vahi had been forcibly removed from her face. Replacing it was a single Krana. She could do nothing but stare as healing, restorative gases flowed around her.

"Hey doc!" Engineer burst into the room, wrench in one hand, half a teleporter in the other. "Did ya've a really weird dream last night?"

Medic, who had previously been dozing on his desk, drooling over some paperwork, peered through sleepy eyes. "Huh?"

"Did ya've a dream wit' robots 'n' aliens 'n' dragons 'n' all that?"

"Uh..." Medic scratched his head. He could remember something fuzzy, but nothing in particular. He hadn't really woken up yet. Instead of giving Engineer an answer, he got up and wandered to a nearby closet, looking for a fresh lab coat. As he opened the door, several strange creatures fell out of it.

"Ah, thank you, human. I feared I was to be driven insane by the ceaseless prattling of these two Threavok..."

"That's unfair! Arkay and I were discussing what in Retha happened. One minute we're helping liberate a world from zombified elemental beings, the next, we're trapped in a closet with something from an adult movie."

"Hmmph. Your comments are cruel and have offended me. That was, as one would say, below the belt."

In another thread of space-time, another being was confused and blinking heavily. Kopaka stood up from a large, icy crater. In front of him were a bunch of small things. He couldn't quite place what they were, but they seemed somewhat familiar and in need of protecting. Behind him were some rather nasty-looking bugs. Any doubts the Toa had were pushed aside. This was no time for pondering the past. He had more important issues to deal with now.

The large cave had not seen movement in a long time. It had been years since anything had happened here. The last thing that had happened was something falling through the ceiling of the cave. Its previous living occupants had abandoned the place a long time ago. But even that event was a distant memory, the echoes of the crash having long faded away. Even the slightest movement would have been something new.

Suddenly, something twitched. A small spark of lightning. A mechanical, almost disjointed voice.

"Curious..."

...

Hi, everyone. I'm sorry this took so long to finish. I was caught up with real life. But as a Christmas present, I decided to finish this off. It's not as good as I liked, as I can't describe battles well, but it covers what I wanted to happen. Merry Christmas/Smissmas/whatever, you all.

Lehvak-Kal yawned and stretched out his arms. He forgot how short they were. His legs were no better, he realised as he stretched those out too. With another yawn, he stretched out his neck, which quickly retracted back into place. He'd forgotten about that.

His body now nice and stretched, Lehvak decided to have a look around. Everything was boring and stony and cave-like. Somewhat familiar, but also somehow not familiar at all. Around him were his five brothers, all still asleep. Apart from that, there was nothing but cave. Dark, dank, gloomy.

"Great..."

The Bohrok-Kal wondered how long he'd been asleep for. It didn't feel like that long, but there was no way of knowing. As far as Lehvak was concerned, the universe could have ended and they'd slept through it. That particularly worrying thought was interrupted by the clanging of metal. His siblings had woken up.

"Bloody Bahrag, where are we?" Nuhvok was, as always, straight to the point. "Oh great. Another cave. Why does it always have to be a cave? We were born in one, we died in one, we fell asleep in one, we woke up in one..."

Before Nuhvok could go on a rant about how much he hated caves and how everyone assumed he loved them because of his colour, Kohrak decided to cut in.

"This isn't the same cave we fell asleep in."

"Pardon?" Nuhvok growled. "That's not possible. I got over my sleep-worm-hole-creation! And no one else here can teleport, can they? You're all being very quiet..."

"We're all thinking. You should try it sometime."

Tahnok had gotten up and was now wandering around the room. There were two exits that Lehvak hadn't noticed earlier. Then again, it was pretty darn dark in that cave. Pahrak thought it was best to light things up and created a large fire in the middle of the room. With some actual light around to see, the Bohrok realised that the walls were covered in carvings.

"Anyone got any idea what any of it says?"

"It's certainly not Matoran or anything..." Tahnok ran a hand along one of the walls. "There are some arrows though, pointing to the exits. Or maybe they point to certain death. I don't know. Considering our luck, they probably lead to each other."

"Oh stop being such a pessimist, Tahnok. They must go somewhere!" Gahlok sighed.

"Which one do we take though?" Pahrak asked. "Either one could lead us anywhere!"

Suddenly, Kohrak silenced them all. While the others had been talking nonsense, he'd put his powers to good use. He pointed to the tunnel on the right. "We take that one."

"Er, why?"

"Because I used my sound powers to echo sounds down the tunnels and the other tunnel is blocked. This one isn't."

"That's clever!" Tahnok smiled. "Good work, Kohrak."

"Well, someone has to use their brain around here."

"Okay that was cruel."

"It's true..."

"Can we not start this all off with us arguing please?" Pahrak butted in. "It'll make us all angry and upset. Now come on! Let's go!"

Pahrak created a ball of plasma to light the way and started skipping down the tunnel. Tahnok and Kohrak apologised to one another and the other Bohrok followed. Minus the skipping, because that's lame.

The tunnel was far less interesting than the cave. While the cave had appeared dull, the tunnel WAS dull. There was nothing but stone wall after stone wall, with the occasional twist and turn. But that was it. Oh, and it came to a dead end.

"I thought you said this tunnel didn't lead to a dead end?" Nuhvok rolled his eyes.

"It was longer than I thought..." Kohrak apologised. "But I can hear something here..."

There were skulls everywhere. Or spiders. Or skull spiders. No one was really sure. They covered the floor and walls and pretty much everything. In the center of the room was a giant spider with 8 legs, rather than the 4 legs of the skull spiders.

"Whatever you are, you just squashed some of my children!" the monster growled as it stared at the six beings who had just fallen through the ceiling. "I, the Lord of the Skull Spiders, shall now posess your minds! Like I have done with pretty much everything else that's gotten in my way since those ###### pesky Toa arrived here!"

The six beings sat up, all as confused as the giant spider. "Did he say Toa?"

"He said Toa."

"She."

"It?"

"Are we really discussing gender here?"

"Oh shut up the lot of you. We're clearly in some sort of Bionicle world!" Nuhvok barked. He wasn't in the mood for this. "You, giant spider, what are you?"

The Lord of the Skull Spiders sneered. "How dear yo-"

Nuhvok made a Skull Spider implode, then threw a few more across the room.

"Okay, I'll talk... I'm a giant spider and I'm trying to steal masks and stuff for some reason because of Makuta and things like that and my pets posess people by jumping onto their faces and I DON'T KNOW!" Skully started sobbing hysterically. "I'm doomed to fail... Please don't hurt my babies..."

Nuhvok rolled his eyes then turned to face his brethren. "That's how you get answers." His anger suddenly switched to surprise as Gahlok slapped him around the face.

"You just killed his children!"

"He was going to kill us!"

"So? You're heartless."

Tahnok decided now was time to intervene. "Both of you stop it, of course we're heartless we're machines. But did you hear what the Skull Spider said? We're in a new Bionicle universe and our gimmick has already been taken by these creatures. We need to leave. Find somewhere new. Start off fresh. A clean slate. Right, brothers? Also Nuhvok, apologise to the Skull Spider."

Gahlok and Nuhvok both lowered their heads in shame. Nuhvok uttered an apology, and the Skull Spider sniffed. He called off his army of little spiders then sneaked away into the shadows. Once the room had cleared, Pahrak asked what they should do.

"Clearly we need to get out of this universe."

"How did we get here in the first place?"

Nuhvok shrugged. "Well, after the zombie thing, we were all scattered across the multiverse, due to the Mask of Time interacting with our own powers and some other, external force. Everyone else was probably sent home, but..."

"Since we're Bionicle beings, perhaps we were teleported alongside all other Bionicle beings?"

"No, probably just the Toa Nuva, since they had the Vahi..." Nuhvok shook his head. "I don't know, I'm just guessing."

"Better than nothing!" Tahnok tried to be reassuring but failed. "Maybe we went back in time or something?"

"Forward, actually."

"Forward?"

"It's 2015."

"Wow... Anyway Nuhvok, we can't go back or forth in time, but surely we can travel through space, yes?"

"Theoretically, but I'd need yours and Gahlok's help so we don't end up in the middle of a star or something."

"That's incredibly unlikely, considering the vastness of space..."

"Shut up, smartalec."

"I'm not making it up as I go along..."

The other Bohrok all turned to face Nuhvok.

"I... I'm not... They're somewhat educated guesses!"

Tahnok sighed. "We don't have anything else to go on, and we have to leave this Bionicle world before we screw it up, like we did last time."

"Doesn't really matter where, we could build a place of our own..." Kohrak added.

"Yeah, alright. It'll be risky though. We might, I don't know, end up floating through space forever though."

"That's fine, we slept for like ten thousand years anyway, and Lehvak spent a year or so in low orbit. Anywhere has to be better than this place. Nuhvok, what do you need from Gahlok and I?"

Nuhvok reached out and put an arm on Tahnok's and Gahlok's shoulders. "I just need you all to grab on to me. I'll do the rest."

Everyone did as they were told, and Nuhvok closed his eyes and began to hum. Everything glowed. For a moment, the room was bathed in a hot white light, before everything faded back to black.

...

The six Bohrok appeared on the outskirts of a large town, in the middle of a grassy plain. The sun above them was strong and bright. The sky was a pale lilac colour. It seems that no one had seen them arrive apart from a small lizard, which Lehvak accidentally stepped on. In the distance was a road leading to the town, with a sign on it. They decided to head over and give it a read.

"Um, I just wandered what it tasted like. Was hoping it was sugar cane..."

"Is it?" Lehvak interrupted.

"Nope."

"######."

"Well, perhaps there's some sugar cane in this little town." Kohrak grinned as he headed off towards the small road. But as they got closer to the town, they noticed a familiar face, walking on the path towards them. Green, powerful, somewhat reptilian but with mammalian features too. Carrying a large axe. The being spotted them and headed towards them.

"Guys, is that who I think it is?" Pahrak whispered, nudging Nuhvok in the side. "Where did you take us, Nuhvok?"

"I... I don't know..." Nuhvok admitted.

"Random coordinates?" Kohrak suggested.

"Yeah, pretty much..."

"That one in ten trillion chance!"

They were flabbergasted. The Bohrok all quickly shut up though as the being came closer and closer. It seemed aggressive at first, but once it saw who they were, it holstered its axe on its back. It was tall and somewhat feminine, much taller than the Bohrok, so it got down on one knee to better inspect them. None of the Bohrok moved, feeling slightly scared. Finally, the creature got up again.

This wasn't the Phovos they remembered. This one was organic. Feminine. Actually pretty cool-looking. Nuhvok was very tempted to say that this Phovos looked... attractive, but he didn't want to get into trouble. She still wore some sort of mechanical armour, but it was plesantly integrated with the rest of her curvy body. The largest piece of armour curved perfectly around her br-

"Narrator, can you please stop with the descriptions please?" Kohrak pleaded. "I know we're mechanical, but think about the poor readers out there!"

"Plus," Tahnok added, "shaped armour around the chest armour is a brilliant way of getting oneself killed. How Roodaka survived all these years, I have no idea."

Gahlok blinked and looked at Tahnok. "You met her?"

"No, I've seen pictures though."

"Haven't we all?" Nuhvok grinned.

The organic raptor ahead of them though was paying no attention what so ever. She had taken a sharp left turn, followed by another. Before long, the seven of them were standing outside what looked like a converted warehouse. Around them were other converted warehouses, some occupied, some sitting unusued. This one looked incredibly cosy. The road ahead led to a large, arena-like thing. Phovos handed each of the Bohrok a key.

"This will be your quarters, little Vohra. Someone left a package inside for you. Probably some sort of sponsorship from your Queens. If you need me, I will be in my quarters at the Dessaron Arena."

With that, Phovos readied to leave, but didn't quite get the chance to.

Phovos shifted her armour slightly. "Hm. Actually, now you mention it, maybe you are someone more. Perhaps you are the machines the Thraki future-seers predicted would come?"

The Bohrok exchanged glances with one another, unsure how to reply. Finally, Tahnok admitted they had no idea what was going on and explained what had happened back in September, because the narrator was busy with real life and kinda forgot about BZPower for ages. Had it really been that long? And could Phovos claim that this comedy was still being updated?

"Of course I can still claim that!" Phovos threatened, pulling an extendomatic axe out of her pocket. "Who said I can't?"

After a few seconds of angry axe swinging, Phovos calmed down and looked down at the Bohrok-Kal. "Okay, so you're really actually mechanical beings from a universe called Bionicle and you've accidentally ended up here while trying to escape the new version of this Bionicle universe, after somehow breaking the Bionicle universe you originally came from?"

"Two Bionicle universes, but yes, that's it..." Kohrak added. "We just don't have a place to live currently and have no idea what world we're on. The fact that you know who we are and you remind us of someone with the same name is... well... uh..."

"Highly improbable?"

"Yes. Highly improbable. Thanks, Pahrak."

Pahrak gleamed at his opportunity to be smart, only to be silently mocked by Lehvak. Everyone ignored Lehvak, because everyone knew Lehvak actually wasn't a very nice person. Phovos took this opportunity to think for a moment, and eventually the Bohrok joined in on the thinking too. Finally, Phovos had an idea. She leaped up, making everyone else jump.

"Tell you what, little Vohra..."

"Bohrok."

"... Bohrok. I will make a call to the Thraki future-seers and make an appointment to see them. While I AM expecting a team of Vohran Kalsa warriors to come along and stay with me, you can use this place as temporary accomodation. Alright?"

The six Bohrok-Kal nodded. Gahlok suddenly perked up. "What about the parcel?"

Phovos shrugged. "The note on it says it's for a Kohrak-Kal, so if one of you is Kohrak-Kal, you can have it. If not, I'll take it."

"I'm Kohrak-Kal!" Kohrak exclaimed.

The Raptor smiled. "Nice to meet you, Kohrak-Kal. I assume the rest of you have names too?"

The Bohrok introduced themselves, while the Raptor continued to smile, noting that their names did sound somewhat 'Vohra-y'. After a brief mention that she'd pop by to visit them in the morning, Phovos turned and left and the Bohrok filed into the house. Kohrak went to inspect the package left for him, while Lehvak and Nuhvok started arguing about beds. Tahnok quickly put them both in their place, giving them both a nasty shock.

"You can both have the bottom bunks. Pahrak, Kohrak and I get the top bunks."

"Who died and made you boss?" Lehvak protested.

"I've been the boss since 2003. Now shut up and start behaving!" Tahnok demanded. Lehvak and Nuhvok both sulked off to explore the rest of their new home, while Tahnok turned his attention to Kohrak and his package. "What is it, brother?"

Kohrak shook his head in confusion, inspecting the note on it. "I have no idea..." After some hesitation, he ripped open the package, then dropped it, almost in shock.

"I swear she just makes it up as she goes along..." Lehvak muttered under his breath as everyone jumped up to see if Kohrak was okay. Considering he was currently curled up in a ball, screaming random things, it was obvious he clearly wasn't. Tahnok tried to calm him down by offering him a glass of water, but after that failed, Gahlok and Nuhvok resorted to using their abilities to untangle the crying Bohrok. Eventually though, Kohrak calmed down so the actual chapter cold start.

"Bloody Bahrag, Kohrak, what was all that about?" Pahrak exclaimed, as he pulled a tray of freshly baked cookies out of the oven. Tahnok raised a non-existent eyebrow at him, having no clue where he had the time to make those cookies, or how he had managed to get the ingredients together so quickly. Pahrak shrugged and dragged the subject back to the once-again screaming Kohrak.

Kohrak took a cookie and finally calmed down for real. He took a couple of deep breaths before explaining.

"Sorry about that... But I think this mask is stalking me or something. I intentionally left it behind. I didn't want to see it again. At all. Something about all those... zombies? I don't want to remember any of that. A fresh start. Yet here's this ###### mask, following me."

Tahnok patted his brother on the shoulder. "It's okay, Kohrak. I promise you won't end up like Matoro... That IS what you're afraid of, yes?"

Kohrak nodded. "I don't want to die again."

"Then maybe we should get rid of the mask?" Nuhvok suggested. "There's like a big desert that we kinda walked past, we could bury it there."

"Or we could use your random teleportation powers to get rid of it?" Gahlok made a better suggestion.

"Nah, I don't trust me to not subconsciously send it somewhere not random," Nuhvok explained. "You know, subconscious and all that. We do weird things when we're subconscious."

Kohrak nodded his head in agreement, soothed by the cookies and a decent idea for once. "That's not a bad idea. We should do it."

"Quick question?" Lehvak interrupted. "Who sent the mask?"

Tahnok grabbed the wrapper from the paper. There was no name on it or anything, it just who it was sent to. Not even a return address. He didn't want to throw the mask away, it was clearly a very powerful thing and he didn't want anyone finding it. On the other hand, Tahnok was more worried about how Kohrak had reacted, so into the desert sands it went. "You want to bury it together?"

"No. I don't want to see." Kohrak almost seemed visibly upset. Quite a feat for a Bohrok.

"Alright. Pahrak, you stay here and keep an eye on Kohrak, make sure he's okay. We'll be back in a bit."

The other Bohrok all left, leaving the pair of them alone. Kohrak took a handful of cookies and quickly started eating them, while Pahrak busied himself making some more for when they returned.

Some time passed. Nuhvok in particular spent a lot of time choosing a decent location to bury the mask. Their first choice, picked by Lehvak, accidentally opened up an ancient tomb with four beings trapped inside it. They decided to quickly get out of there before those four beings noticed, but none of them seemed dangerous and one of them looked eerily famililiar. Nuhvok waved it by as coincidence though, so Tahnok and Lehvak quickly dropped the subject.

Finally, Nuhvok picked a nice big empty space. He lifted up a huge pile of sand to make sure it was nice and buried, Gahlok dropped the Olmak in the hole and they left the site. They'd actually walked pretty far, and Nuhvok's first attempt to teleport them back left them in the wrong place. Tahnok got it right on a second teleport.

But clearly something was wrong as the four of them entered their temporary accomodation. Kohrak was screaming again. Pahrak didn't seem too happy either.

"What's wrong?" Tahnok shouted.

"THE MASK CAME BACK IT'S STALKING ME AAAAAAH!" Kohrak bellowed uncontrollably. Thankfully he was still somewhat in control of his powers. Tahnok didn't want to explain to attractive alternate Phovos that Kohrak had gone and shattered all the glass in a fit of terror.

"But we just buried it!" Nuhvok protested. Despite his claim, the Olmak was sitting on the table, right where it'd originally been found, several feet away from Kohrak.

Speaking of Kohrak, he'd finally lost it and disappeared upstairs. Tahnok rolled his eyes. "Alright, you lot work out a better way to hide that mask for now, I'll talk to Kohrak..."

Well, first time I've read Ramblings as a member, so I'll give my two cents.

Firstly: This is really funny. It should have a sticker on it reading BZPOWER COMEDY CLASSIC.

Secondly: Concerning the style of the... earlier chapters of almost entirely unattributed dialogue (only colours to identify the speaker). Also, there is no beginning and no end to this comedy. Just lots of middles, some of which happen to form an arc. You are a postmodernist to rival William Gaddis. Good job. You conveyed the action wonderfully with only dialogue, which deserves a in my book. Good job.

"You do realise it has taken you more than half a darn year to get up those stairs and talk to me, right?" Kohrak sobbed as he sat in the corner. He wanted to cry, but being a Bohrok made that feat nigh impossible and kinda rendered the previous sentence moot.

Tahnok shrugged. "I think the author has been busy with other things. Like writing about the universe that we're currently stuck in. Because this is a weird place. And nothing here makes any sense at all. Everyone is all icky and organic. Even that organic Phovos.”

“Icky? Didn’t you once try and sle-”

“No. Also, brother, rated U here!”

“Oh. I must have forgotten. I blame it on the author. Clearly spent way too long not writing this and writing their new nonsense. I bet it’s way better than the Bohrok-Kal’s Ramblings.”

Tahnok sighed. “You don’t know for sure.”

“I do know. The author stuck us here inside their stupid OC world and I just want to leave.”

“Then use the Olmak!” Tahnok suggested. “Get us out of here or something!”

“NOOOOOO!” Kohrak screamed. If there was any glass still in one piece after Kohrak’s previous panic, there certainly wasn’t any left now. Tahnok panicked and dived out of the room, down the stairs and out into the garden, where the other Kal were waiting for him. So was alternate Phovos.

“Oh. Hi.”

“Hello, little creatures!” alternate Phovos smiled menacingly.

“I assume she’s already worked out that we’re not the Bohrok she’s looking for?” Tahnok whispered to the others.

“Ayup!” Nuhvok smiled awkwardly. “Why is Kohrak screaming again?”

“I accidentally said the word Olmak and he freaked out.”

Alternate Phovos interrupted. “I am afraid you little creatures will have to leave. I won’t charge you for this mess, because I doubt you have anything of value on you, but I’d recommend you leave before any Vohra turn up and try and claim you as their own. A small team of Vohra will probably be here in about ten minutes.”

Kohrak’s screaming finally stopped.

Lehvak grinned. “Great! That’s just enough time for us to convince Kohrak that this is Destiny being all weird and confusing again!” He rushed back inside, oblivious to the fact that all that sonic screaming may or may not have left the building unstable. Pahrak and Nuhvok both followed him.

“I apologise for the damage…” Tahnok sighed as he turned to face alternate Phovos. “Things have been incredibly confusing. We’re supposed to be dead. And then we came back and killed zombies and I don’t even bloody know any more!”

“That is understandable. Perhaps maybe your magic mask will allow you to come back one day, so we may discuss your lives further?” It turned out that alternate Phovos was way nicer than old Phovos.

“I would like that. I… What is it, Gahlok.”

“Sorry to interrupt!” Gahlok stuttered. “But are those beings over there Vohra? Also, do you remember that Arkay being? Because I’m totally sure that’s him over there in handcuffs.” He pointed towards a group of tall, armoured, anthropomorphic beings. Phovos spun around to look at them.

“That does totally look like Arkay.”

“I’ma shout to him. ARKAY!”

The arrested creature looked up, but was quickly pulled away by its captors.

“For the sake of the Queens, Gahlok! Don’t do that!” Tahnok hissed.

“Why? He looks like he’s in trouble.”

“No one here knows us! They might arrest us too!”

“Oh.”

“No, they are not Vohra, they are Rethans, doing arrests in my territory. I should probably deal with this…” Phovos growled. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Uh, thanks, you too!” Tahnok replied, as Phovos ran off towards the Rethans.

Right on cue, the rest of the Bohrok-Kal stormed out of the now crumbling building. Kohrak was holding the Olmak.

“Okay, one more try. That is ALL I am doing. Wherever we end up, we’re staying there.”

“Even if it’s the middle of space?”

“SPACE? NOOOOOOOoooooo!” Lehvak screamed, shattering the one last remaining piece of glass in the building.

“Okay, fine. The next inhabitable place we go to. Okay?”

The other Kal all nodded.

“Alright. Everyone, hold hands.”

“Do I have to hold Lehvak’s hand?” Nuhvok whined.

“Yes. Now let me concentrate.”

Suddenly a portal opened up, created by the Olmak. Without any hint of hesitation, Kohrak dragged the Bohrok through the portal and into a large forest. The portal snapped shut behind them and the Kal realised they were not alone.

“Hello!” a rather Matoran-like being grinned.

“Hello!” Pahrak tried to grin back. “Where are we?”

“Otoko!” the being continued to grin.

Nuhvok laughed. “That’s a dumb name!”

The creature sighed. “I know. But Mata Nui wasn’t available, for legal reasons, so we went with Otoko instead… But yes, welcome! You must be the Toa we prayed for!”

The creature started running off, but not in a particularly fast way. No wonder, it had a gun attached to its shoulder. "Come on! We need your help to stop these remaining Skull Spiders!"

The Bohrok-Kal all chased after the Matoran thing, apart from Nuhvok.

"Skull Spiders? I'm not having deja vu or anything, didn't I really upset their lord or something in some previous chapter or something?"

"You did. Clearly he got back on his feet and took a self-confidence course or something after we left."

"Or read a self-help book."

"Or that, yeah."

"Come on, you strange Toa!" the creature shouted again. "They'll take over the whole village!"

"Hang on!" Lehvak skidded to a halt. "I already did that though. With the Lehvak Swarms. We took over Le-Koro."

"Are you lot going to stop every few moments? We're supposed to be Toa!" Tahnok sighed. "Why don't you five stay here while I follow this clearly fire-element based being?"

The rest of the Kal stopped. "Sure thing, Tahnok. We'll be lazy sobs and stay here."

Tahnok rolled his eyes as he left his brothers behind and continued to follow the creature. Part of him wished his element actually WAS fire, rather than electricity. Finally, after narrowly missing some lava, they arrived at a small, boring village full of Matoran-like beings with clear Krana rip-offs on their faces. Tahnok glanced at the creature.

"I assume you can help?"

"Of course."

There was more eye-rolling as Tahnok unleashed a small EMP, just enough to disorientate the Skull Spiders. But as he was about to go and squish them all, someone much more familiar walked up from another path and started fighting the more active ones. Somewhat accidentally. The creature next to Tahnok sighed.

"There goes Narmoto again! He's normally good at his job but by the Mask Makers, lately he's..."

"They sound distracted..." Tahnok hesitated. He decided to go and approach this Narmoto character, electrocuting a couple of Skull Spiders as he did so. "Hello, do you need any help?"

"What in the name of Otoko are you?" Narmoto growled, before changing his attitude. "I am sorry. Things are rather... bad right now."

"Let me clear up these thingies for you, then we can talk if you want."

"That would be nice, creature. My name is Narmoto."

"My name is officially Tahnok-Kal, but you can just call me Tahnok. Two seconds."

Exactly two seconds later, all the Skull Spiders were gone. A scream in the distance was all that remained until Gahlok came rushing down towards them.

"TAHNOK, I HATE SPIDERS, WHY DID YOU- Oh, hello."

The other Kal caught up with Gahlok and all muttered their own hellos.

"Who died, if you don't mind us asking?" Kohrak inquired, curious. "Seems like it was all a very big deal, considering the destruction around here. Looks like Ta-Koro after the Swarms hit..."

Narmoto sniffed. "Our guardians, the Toa, gave their lives to protect us from evil."

"...Which Toa?" Kohrak hesitated to ask, not wanting to upset anyone.

"What do you mean, which Toa?" Narmoto tutted. "We have only ever had six Toa! And they're gone! Poor, poor Tahu..."

Lehvak quickly pulled his brothers to one side, so the Otokans couldn't hear them. "You hear that? The bloody Toa are dead!"

"Hey Lehvak, remember when we became good guys?" Kohrak gave Lehvak a quick slap around the face. "We're not supposed to be happy about this. Plus, these Toa are still completely different to the Toa who murdered us in cold blood after we spared their lives. Kopaka and Pohatu are still stuck in our universe's Red Star!"

"Someone's been reading Biosector01!" Nuhvok joked.

"Ssh. We need to help these guys. They're depressed and sad and maybe we can totally actually be real good guys!"

"I genuinely thought we were good guys now?" Tahnok seemed confused. "Have I been getting it wrong all this time?"

"We just think we're good. Everyone else thinks we're evil..."

"I guess. Oh, hello again..." Tahnok spun around to find Narmoto and the other Otokan tapping him on the shoulder.