Category: Family

Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that stirs emotions. I think of my friend who recently lost his Mom. I think of the women that would give anything for someone to call them Mom. I think of how far away my Mom is and that I will spend this holiday away from her. I think of how blessed I am that God chose me to be the Mom of my daughter. Now I could write another flowery post about celebrating Moms. Believe me when I say they (all Mom’s) very much deserve this honor.

But I’m going to say this with sincerity and heart. Take time to notice ALL the special Moms in your life. Sometimes they are biological and sometimes they are not.

Sometimes Mother’s Day can be hard to manage for people who live in assisted living. Let’s be honest it can be hard for many people, in general, depending on the circumstances. Life is tough. So instead of just being a “Debbie Downer”, here are some practical tips for making sure that all the ladies in an assisted living community are not forgotten this Mother’s Day.

Plan something that celebrates all the ladies in your community. Have a tea or an ice cream social. Honor each lady there. Chances are whether she had a child of her own, she helped “mother” someone through the years.

Be sure if family comes to visit others that your staff is sensitive, but not awkward about those ladies who do not have family present. Many times staff become like second families and can make someone feel extra special by sharing time and smiles. It can go a long way.

Now yes…I know this celebration is for the ladies. But don’t forget to be sensitive to the men as well. Mother’s Day to them may be very different than in years past. Some may be just fine and dandy. But be aware, we sometimes see sadness or other ways of sharing emotion as thoughts of a spouse that is no longer living or even memories of their late Mother resurface on this day. Be kind. Show understanding.

It’s not that we shouldn’t celebrate Mom’s…we absolutely should. It would be terrible not to enjoy holidays for fear of stepping on toes. That’s not the way to live. But in an assisted living or any other settings, we need to be considerate. Show compassion, show kindness, show patience and show love. You know your Mama….or whoever raised you taught you those values. Make her proud.

Some of the toughest days for families can be the initial stages of the realization that their aging loved one doesn’t need to be alone. Maybe it’s Dad’s reoccurring falls that are frightening or the scare of an ER trip because Mom accidentally took too much medication. Whatever the cause for concern, don’t beat yourself up. As human beings, the aging process is difficult. Watching our parents or other loved ones’ deal with this is altogether more trying. It becomes at times a battle of wills. It is what many refer to as role reversal. And while it may seem like you are being paid back for your hard-headed childhood days…you must be strong and use good judgment.

First, you must come to terms with the role reversal. It is hard for us to wrap our heads around the idea that we are now the decision maker. Now, with this in mind…tread lightly and respectfully. We still respect our elders. But we must respect them enough to CARE for them and make tough decisions. It’s a difficult conversation when they don’t seem to want our help or don’t want to be a bother. But stay strong. It can be so trying to see our parents or aging loved ones become so vulnerable. If you have siblings try not to allow this time to be one where you pull apart or old sibling rivalries rear their heads. Pull together rather than away from each other. Regardless if you are an only child or have siblings, find a way to talk things out with a trusted friend. This role reversal is tough!

STAY STRONG! This can be hard when a parent becomes angry over independence issues but you are concerned for their safety. Don’t cave in or just put a literal band-aid on a gaping wound. Address the tough issues. Avoid letting them shut you out or try and convince you that everything is fine when you know clearly it is not. Don’t wait until you are in crisis mode before you address the issues that are at hand.

Talk to them with their physician. Go to those appointments and help be an advocate. Many parents welcome time with their children. It may be that during these appointments there is information that family members are not getting the full story. It also could be that the physician may need some information as to what is “really” going on. Your loved ones may not always remember or understand everything their physicians tell them either. As a complete CARE TEAM…you and your parent in conjunction with their primary care physician can make good sound choices.

Role reversal is no walk in the park. But much like raising children can be so incredibly tough…tending to aging parents in role reversal can be gut-wrenching because we view them as well…the parent. Remind them how much you love them. Be nurturing and be kind. Let them know that you want to help take care of them just as they took care of you. Maybe it wasn’t perfect. But life just isn’t. Do the right thing and seek guidance from a physician and trusted friends along the way.

Tis the season for SNEEZING! Many are already in the thick of it! But allergies can be more than just a simple achooo!!! Being attentive and proactive is key when it comes to seniors and allergies. Check out this list from Christopher Randolph, MD, a member of the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology’s Asthma & Allergic Diseases in the Elderly Committee be informed and ready to conquer allergy season.

Randolph offers the following suggestions to help caregivers make allergy season more bearable for their loved ones:

Look for the signs.Allergies don’t discriminate between the young and the old. Dr. Randolph says that people falsely assume the elderly do not get seasonal allergies when they are just as likely as anyone else to be affected when spring blooms begin to appear. In fact, adult-onset allergies are not unusual. Caregivers should be on the lookout for the traditional signs like sneezing, a runny nose, and itchy eyes so they can nip them in the bud.

Inform their doctor. Randolph points out that it can be difficult for a physician to diagnose allergies in older individuals, especially when they’re focused on catching and managing larger health issues. Allergy symptoms can easily take a backseat to more weighty symptoms, like pain, depression, and changes in memory.

Be aggressive.“Allergies have a larger impact on the lives and health of the elderly,” explains Dr. Randolph. It makes sense; allergy symptoms, such as a nasal congestion and an irritated throat can be extremely dangerous for seniors with pre-existing cardiovascular problems or lung disease. This is why Dr. Randolph feels that allergies in the elderly should be treated as rapidly and aggressively as possible.

Avoid traditional antihistamines.Antihistamines, the class of drug most commonly prescribed to treat allergies, can be dangerous to seniors. Potential side effects from these medications, especially older varieties, include confusion, drowsiness, urine retention, dry mouth and eyes, and dizziness. In addition to these symptoms being irritating, they can contribute to dangerous falls and even urinary tract infections (UTIs). Furthermore, Dr. Randolph says that antihistamines can potentially cause changes in mood or behavior in the elderly and may lead to dangerous interactions with other commonly prescribed medications.
Instead of reaching for an over-the-counter antihistamine, speak with your loved one’s doctor or pharmacist about alternative allergy treatments. They will likely recommend a nasal steroid or some form of topical medication.

Try drug-free solutions.Seasonal allergies are triggered by increases of pollen and mold in the environment. Minimizing exposure to these allergens is an obvious way to avoid bothersome reactions. This is not always easy, but a few lifestyle changes can help.
Getting outside to breathe in the fresh air, exercise and soak up a little sun is very important for seniors, but doing so during allergy season can leave them feeling worse afterward. Weather forecasts these days typically include a pollen count or allergy forecast. Use this to your advantage and try to avoid planning outdoor activities for when outdoor allergens are particularly high. If you and your loved one must go outside, remember to wear sunglasses to avoid eye irritation. As soon as you come home, make a point of washing your hands, showering and changing into fresh clothes to avoid introducing allergens into the house. If you and your loved one enjoy opening the windows for fresh air, try to do so only on low pollen days as well.
Make sure that your air conditioning unit is serviced regularly and equipped with a High-Efficiency Particulate Air (HEPA) filter that can remove allergens from outside air to keep them from entering and circulating around the house. If your loved one also has indoor allergies to things like dust and pets, they may benefit from using an air purifier.

Every year we look for different ways to enjoy the holidays and come up with new activities to keep our seniors engaged. One of the ways that we can be certain to have a sure-fire good time for all is to include children or young people in whatever we have planned. The inter-generational activities prove to be a good time for all. Last week one of my sister facilities shared some photos of coloring Easter eggs using shaving cream. Such a fabulous fun! Something, where everyone can get their hands a little dirty and be creative at the same time, is a great idea for all ages. We are planning is to invite some local children who are out on Spring Break this week and do Shaving Cream Marbled Easter Eggs. Want to make some of your own? Here is what you need and what to do.

SHAVING CREAM MARBLED EASTER EGGS

Items You will Need:

Hard-boiled eggs

Shaving cream

3 or 4 colors of liquid water or food coloring

Jelly roll pan or disposable pan

Paintbrush or pencil to swirl your colors

Tongs

Cooking cooling rack

Paper towels or wax paper for under the cooling rack to catch the paint drips

Towel to clean up messes

Apron or old shirt

Procedure:

Set your cooling rack up with paper towel or wax paper below

Fill a section of your pan with shaving cream – I did 3 sections, each section had two colors that gave us 3 different color combinations

Sprinkle several drops of each color of food coloring on the shaving cream

Swirl your shaving cream and food coloring. Don’t over swirl or the colors will mix too much and will not be as bright.

Place your egg in the pan, and swirl the egg around until is covered with colored shaving cream

If shaving cream becomes overly mixed just make another section and add food coloring and swirl again

Allow eggs to dry overnight. Shaving cream will partially dry, leaving a nice mess that needs to be cleaned up.

Spring forward sounds so chipper. My last blog detailed the fact that I don’t sleep very well. I’m not so sure how much “pep in my step” I will have when we lose that hour of sleep this coming weekend either. But it’s not just the grogginess that comes with the time change. According to statistics, due to the loss of sleep and increased stress from exhaustion, automobile accidents and heart attacks increase dramatically. Scientists have found that on the Monday after Daylight Savings Time begins heart attack rates increase by an astonishing 24 percent. But take heart! These practical tips can help avoid knocking your natural circadian rhythm completely out of whack.

Tips for adjusting to daylight saving time from agingcare.com

Get some sun: Exposure to natural sunlight helps regulate your body’s natural rhythms. Depending on where you live, the weather may be too cold to spend too much time outside, but you can at least pull up the shade and sit in front of the window for a few minutes.

Work up a sweat: Engaging in some form of cardiovascular exercise (walking, jogging, biking, swimming) in the late afternoon or early evening may help you fall asleep easier.

Develop an appetite for good sleep: Eating and drinking can actually disrupt your sleep. Plan to finish meals and snacks 2 to 3 hours before bedtime because digestion wakes up your body. Alcohol and caffeine are also “sleep interrupters” when consumed before bed. Limit caffeine to the morning and finish your alcohol consumption by early evening. Smoking before bed can also stimulate your body and make it hard to sleep.

It’s important to keep in mind that seniors may need more time to adjust to the transition. What is a minor annoyance for most adults could present a significant obstacle in the routine of older adults, particularly those living with dementia or other cognitive impairments. Be sure to check on these individuals and make sure that they are getting adequate sleep and seek medical advice if you notice a problem. Take small steps to prepare for the change for you and your loved ones and enjoy the longer hours of daylight and the warmer days.

I admit it. I don’t get enough sleep. Sadly, most people do not. Sleep is as necessary to our bodies as food and water. With new devices and monitors that track sleep patterns you can even determine the amount of time you are in deep sleep. But just keeping tabs on your sleep may not be enough to get you on track for catching up your shut eye deficiency. Not getting adequate rest can be very serious. It can be especially serious for seniors who are already a risk for falls and balance issues. Lack of sleep just increases the opportunity for accidents. So, what can you do to get a good night’s sleep?

WebMD offers these tips to Sleep Tight:

Stick to a regular bedtime. Go to sleep and get up at the same time each day, even on weekends. Your body will get used to the routine.

Avoid afternoon naps. If you sleep during the day, you’re more likely to stay awake at night.

Drink less fluids at night. Trips to the bathroom break up your sleep.

There are many suggestions and “schools of thought” as to how much sleep is needed. Most experts still agree that somewhere between 7-8 hours a night is recommended. But don’t forget to factor in those NAPS!! Now while a nap sounds heavenly to me. It can create confusion or longer stretches of night time rest. I had a resident tell me that he just couldn’t sleep like he used to do. Upon further discussion, I realized that he had not accounted for his hour and a half morning nap and two hour after lunch nap. He hadn’t added these napping hours to his sleep bank! It made more sense that with getting shut eye during the day and his decreased physical activity during the day as to why he wasn’t sleeping for long stretches in the evenings like he had previously. But by simply getting more exercise and changing his nap schedule his resting at night was improved.

If you are having trouble sleeping, be sure to talk to your doctor. March is National Sleep Awareness Month and a good time to evaluate your sleep and its relationship to your overall health.

During this month of love, I thought it a perfect time to discuss the most loved things about assisted living. It has been interesting over the years for me to get the perspective not just from the families, but from the residents themselves on what was their favorite. So here is the TOP THREE FAVES of Assisted Living Communities.

Peace of Mind

There is something to be said for having someone there to look out for you, day or night. It is also very reassuring to know that communities have emergency response systems. Another very beneficial help is transportation assistance. Some of our residents find that driving later in life becomes stressful. Having someone to take them safely to appointments is a huge help and comfort to them and their families.

Enjoying Eating Again

Not only do you have someone there to cook three home-cooked meals a day, plus snacks….but eating with other members of the community makes the dining process so much more enjoyable.. Seeing new friendships form as residents fellowship around the table is a very gratifying part of my job.

Handing Over the Housework

I don’t think I have EVER had one single resident that was sad to hand over the cooking, cleaning or the laundry. It is a huge perk of moving into an assisted living! I laughed when my husband came to my community the first week I started.. His exact words were, “they do your laundry, cook your food and clean your room? I don’t get that at home!!”. He’s a real comedian.

With so many things to love, it may be time to look into assisted living for your loved one. These are just three of many reasons that our communities are loved by our residents. Schedule a tour today and check out first hand what may be a perfect fit for you and yours.

As I have watched the latest rollout of promos for the Winter Olympic, a common theme is challenges. It made me think about the challenges in the daily lives of our many residents. Just as an athlete must push against all odds to achieve Olympic status, a senior must face challenges on a daily basis to overcome their own adversity. According to the Cleveland Clinic, “Life expectancy is increasing for Americans. The fastest-growing segment of the population is the 85-and-older age group. Despite advances in health care, however, many elderly people have chronic, incurable progressive diseases and need assistance with the activities of daily living. The greatest challenge facing us as we age is the prevention of physical disability and the extension of “active life expectancy.” Fortunately, recent studies suggest that healthy (“successful”) aging is achievable, with sound planning for old age.”

SO SOUND PLANNING….LIKE WHAT???

It’s no secret that the biggest factor in overcoming the challenges that come with the aging processes includes maintaining a healthy lifestyle. But even though:

Planning for success in aging must include stimulation of our social being as well financial planning, research and making your wishes known. We can’t be certain of what MIGHT happen. But if you address the issues early on, it can make the later much easier for you and your children. Over the years I have comforted many an adult child of an elderly person, who was tasked with making difficult choices for their parent. Choices that could have been decided and discussed. Are the conversations difficult? EXTREMELY. No doubt, this conversation will not be comfortable. But making sure your wishes and decisions are respected as best as possible will make those moments somewhat easier for your children to know they are honoring your choices

Rising to the Challenge of Successful Aging

Here is a list from the Cleveland Clinic to help you plan for the unknown challenges to come.

Keep Yourself Stimulated:

Enjoy hobbies and interests with passion, particularly social activities, such as dancing.

Strengthen family relationships.

Engage in adult educational activities to challenge your mind.

Identify any physical limitations, such as difficulty walking or problems with balance. Actively start a discussion about these limitations and use medical resources to overcome them. Use nearby resources such as community support and local senior centers.

Be smart with financial planning:

Plan in advance for retirement.

Carefully manage investments and assets.

Assure adequate insurance coverage.

Decide on your future living arrangements. (See reference at the end of the article.)

Work to Maintain Dignity and Good Health in Old Age:

Choose a doctor knowledgeable in the medical care of older adults.

Communicate your goals of care to your family and physician.

Check about long-term care insurance.

Express your advance directives in writing.

It is wise to look ahead into an assisted living community. We would love to have you tour one of our communities today. Visit www.greatoaksmanagement.com today to research one that is just right for you and your plan!

Across the state at our communities we are making time for tea to celebrate! We are planning these tea parties to toast our excellent communities and the residents, staff and families that make them so special. In honor of this Tea Time, this week the blog will feature a recipe that is a must for your party menu. Many thanks to Donna Burch the daughter of our resident Opal Newsome for sharing this delicious recipe with us.

STRAWBERRY PRETZEL SALAD

2 C. pretzels, coarsely crushed ¾ c. melted butter or margarine

3 T. sugar (for crust) 1 (6-oz.) pkg. strawberry Jello

1 c. sugar 2 (10-oz.) pkgs. Frozen strawberries

1 c. boiling water

1 (8-oz.) ctn. Cool Whip

1 (8-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened

Mix crushed pretzels, butter and sugar; press into bottom of a 9X13-inch pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 8 minutes. Cool completely. In another bowl beat cream cheese and sugar until well blended. Stir in carton of Cool Whip. Then spread onto cooled crust. Dissolve Jello in 1 cup of bowling water. Then stir in strawberries and let stand 10 minutes. Pour this mixture on top of cream cheese mixture in pan. Chill in refrigerator. Makes about 12 servings.

In the past 7 years, I have given MANY tours at our assisted living community. I’ve even given tours at some of our sister communities. I’ve read guides that industry pros have posted. I’ve listened to feedback from residents, families, staff and upper-level management. I’ve moved residents into our property from every setting you can imagine. Now, it’s not that I think that I have all the answers. That is laughable and would be impossible. But how about I just offer you as Paul Harvey would say “the rest of the story” and give you my humble insights. I like working with lists of 3s. So, here is a list of my top three suggestions for finding the assisted living community that is the right fit.

Suggestion Number One

Remember WHO is the Consumer

One of the most surprising things that I ever experienced in my senior living career was the opportunity to move a resident into our 16-bed community from a place that I swear resembled a resort at the beach. It was, however, also an assisted living community. As I drove onto the property I honestly mouthed the words…WOW. Inside was the latest of color schemes and decor. I honestly wanted to ask the lady at the desk in the lobby the name of the gray paint on the walls. I loved it. But my grandmother would have hated it. I have residents that would have hated it. And you guessed it…so did the resident that I moved out of this fancy pants place and into our community. This huge place was also overwhelming to the resident. The resident had vision issues and that typically doesn’t pair well with a monochromatic color scheme or a giant campus. Bottom line…think of the loved one whom you are considering living in a community and be sure that you are shopping for them and not YOU.

Suggestion Number Two

Meet and Greet

It didn’t take me long to realize when I started working with senior adults exactly who was in charge and it was NOT me. Now naturally, I make sure that we are being regulatory compliant and we don’t do anything that is unsafe. But the phrase that I remind our staff and how we approach the care in how we treat our residents is “this is their house and we work for you”. It’s not just something that we say, it is how we do our best to approach the things that we do. If you are looking at a community that doesn’t treat your loved one as an individual, look elsewhere! When it comes to tours, I offer our current residents the opportunity to meet and greet some of our prospects. It gives the prospective family and potential residents a chance to hear first-hand information from the consumers who know it best. It also invites the members of our community to be part of the place they call home and it is truly heart-warming to see the way that they communicate. Who else would know better than the ones who have been in the exact same shoes as the prospect!

Suggestion Number Three

Visiting Hours

Another thing (that yes, even as an administrator) I would suggest is drop in without an appointment. Now, of course, this needs to be at a decent hour. Most properties love to schedule a tour so that a marketing person or administrator can help you through the process and that is a truly effective way to get the answers to most of your questions. But dropping in on a Saturday or taking up the offer to join the community for a meal are great ways to get a good feel for how a community functions. Now the meal “invites” do typically need to be scheduled so that enough food can be prepared, but it is a wonderful opportunity to sample the “fare” and observe the staff and community. Also, don’t forget to let the prospective resident be part of this process. I have witnessed many families try to avoid bringing their loved one along for fear of upsetting them. I say start slowly. This change is hard for everyone…even for the adult children that are trying to do what is best and safe for their aging parent or loved one. Making the decision to move to an assisted living community is not easy. Change isn’t easy. But making the decision to keep someone safe is the right move.

If you would like more information about one of our Great Oaks Management Properties or would like to set up a tour at a property near you, please call us today at 1-888-258-8082.