15 Food Emoji We Wish Existed

Like most people with smartphones, we have become increasingly obsessed with emoji, the cutesy emoticons-on-steroid that now allow us to communicate solely with pictographs instead of using real words. Why type that something is terrible when you can just use the pile of poop emoji? Or write something that makes sense when you can deploy a hilarious symbol of a monkey giggling instead?

The only frustration with emoji is when you can’t find a symbol to represent what you want to say. As food lovers, we run into this problem all the time—since the language originated in Japan, the edible emoji include items like ramen, o-nigiri, and mochi balls, but not a lot of the stuff we find ourselves eating and iChatting about on a daily basis.

Rather than just sitting here all tongue-tied, we came up with 15 symbols we think need to be added to emoji library immediately. Emoji developers, if you’re reading this, let us know when we can expect the software update.

Like most people with smartphones, we have become increasingly obsessed with emoji, the cutesy emoticons-on-steroid that now allow us to communicate solely with pictographs instead of using real words. Why type that something is terrible when you can just use the pile of poop emoji? Or write something that makes sense when you can deploy a hilarious symbol of a monkey giggling instead?
The only frustration with emoji is when you can't find a symbol to represent what you want to say. As food lovers, we run into this problem all the time—since the language originated in Japan, the edible emoji include items like ramen, o-nigiri, and mochi balls, but not a lot of the stuff we find ourselves eating and iChatting about on a daily basis.
Rather than just sitting here all tongue-tied, we came up with 15 symbols we think need to be added to emoji library immediately. Emoji developers, if you're reading this, let us know when we can expect the software update.
Written by Chris Schonberger (@cschonberger)

The Cask Ale emoji

What it refers to: Unfiltered, unpasteurized beers served from a cask without the addition of nitrogen or carbon dioxide pressure
Best used when: You want to mob with your beer nerd friends to a proper pub and drink some traditional English bitters.

The Butcher Diagram emoji

What it refers to: Nose-to-tail eating
Best used when: When you're in the mood to feast on some pig's head and trotters, or when you are going to a sustainable butcher shop to pick up some meats.

The "C" Restaurant Grade emoji

What it refers to: Filthy restaurants that received the lowest inspection grade from the New York City Health Department
Best used when: You feel like having a cheap night and just grubbing some dollar slices or street meat from a dingy hole in the wall. Also, when you are at a restaurant and you see a family of roaches scurry toward the buffet.

The Chinese Takeout Box emoji

What it refers to: Takeout food of any kind
Best used when: Your girlfriend or boyfriend is asking if you are going to cook dinner tonight and you just want to say, "Nah, obviously I am too lazy and will get takeout!" Ideally, the emoji would get so popular that you could simply text it to Seamless and they would deliver your favorite order.

The Red Solo Cup emoji

What it refers to: Any sort of frat party or f**k-your-liver style drinking
Best used when: This is the ultimate emoji for bros—since they are creatures of few words anyway, this simple emoji can replace 80% of what they text each other, since it pretty much means rage, frat, beer pong, and let's get weird. More evolved humans can also deploy it when they are getting wasted and the night has descended into drunken idiocy.

The Emeril Lagasse emoji

What it refers to: Specifically, Emeril when he is throwing down seasonings and yelling, "BAM!"Best used when: You have made an emphatic statement of any sort and want to cap it off with something more colorful than an exclamation mark.

The Giada De Laurentiis emoji

What it refers to: Giada's famous cleavageBest used when: When you're eating at a restaurant with an open kitchen and the chef is wild sexy.

The Guy Fieri emoji

What it refers to: Going to Flavortown
Best used when: You want to suggest an evening of no-holds-barred, off-the-chain gastronomic lunacy. (Or, alternatively, when you want to call someone a douche—this would be one of those emojis that the people decide how to use.)

The Nacho Platter emoji

What it refers to: Nachos, fool!
Best used when: Your boy is like, "You want to go somewhere and watch the game?" and all you really want to say is, "As long as there's nachos, homey." Realistically, it might also be deployed as shorthand for munchies.

The No Instagram emoji

What it refers to: Restaurants that don't allow photographyBest used when: Your friend is begging to be blessed with some food porn from the tasting menu you're eating and you need to quickly explain that the chef is a tyrant who will kick you out for 'gramming.

The Portlandia emoji

What it refers to: The sketch comedy show starring Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein, known for its sendups of foodie cultureBest used when: You are at a restaurant where the waiter tells you the name of the cow you are about to eat; a coffeeshop that only serves siphons and pourovers that take five minutes; a cocktail bar where the menu is printed in brail; or anywhere else that is so pretentious you wonder if the whole thing is just an elaborate hoax.

The Seafood Tower emoji

What it refers to: Balling out of control with some fruits de merBest used when: Whenever you're feeling like "it's a celebration, bitches" and money is no object. Make it rain oysters and crab legs! (Note: It can also be used to signal that you are at an extremely mooky restaurant full of finance dudes.)

The Soup Dumplings emoji

What it refers to: Delicious soup dumplings, or xiaolongbaoBest used when: You want soup dumplings. (This is a very specific, but necessary, emoji.)

The Tiki emoji

What it refers to: Tiki bars and tiki cocktails
Best used when: You are ready to party and would ideally like to put on a lei, drink three Zombies, and pass out underneath a colorful totem.

The Frozen Toilet Paper emoji

What it refers to: Toilet paper stored in the freezer.
Best used when: You need to warn your friend about ordering the mapo tofu at Mission Chinese.

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