Domestic Violence: Myths to Stop Living By

JWB Post

October 8, 2014

Living the brutal life of domestic violence is no good. Women must learn that being in an abusive relationship doesn’t prove the bond between the spouses. We generally think men’s abusive nature is the other side of his love. Give this mindset a break and check out these myths that women carry in their minds:

Myth 1. He was abused as a child.

Fact – Is it justifying why he has the right to hit you?

It’s good to be compassionate towards a person with bad past but how can you allow him to beat you? Being abused doesn’t automatically make you an abuser. Don’t let him take advantage of your sympathy.

Myth 2 – He is jealous, insecure and low self-esteem.

Fact – On the contrary, he thinks he’s special.

You might think that if you are there for him, you can stop the abuse. However, he feels he is special, deserving, and entitled. He thinks he gives you monitory support and is superior. Once he is done with the abuse, he will say – “You compelled me to do so. I never wanted to hit my wife/girlfriend.’’ He’ll blame everyone except himself and then make you feel sorry for him.

Myth 3 – He had a bad day at work?

Fact – You are not the colleague from work he is angry at.

Again, don’t become his punching bag to bring out his frustration. Do you hit him when your food gets burned? He thinks he has the right to do so with his wife and this mentality is sick.

Myth 4 – He needs a therapy or we need couples therapy. Then he’ll stop abusing.

Fact: Abusers often twist therapists around their fingers.

During his single therapy, he’ll convince the therapist by telling one-side of the story. Since the other side is totally missing, the therapist will take him as the victim and think the wife is making him go crazy. Also in couple’s therapy, you won’t be able to speak your heart since he will be sitting right next to you. And even if you do, it will make things go uglier at home after the session.

Myth 5 – Whatever, he loves me.

Fact – He actually means “I own you”.

So that’s why he goes mad when you show compassion for others, especially other men. He gives your guidelines to follow and if you don’t he knows what to do – hit you or abuse you verbally.

Dear women, stop victimizing yourself. It is not only him who is abusing you but You who are allowing this blunder to happen with you. Stop it. Voice against it. If he stops you from speaking against him and punishes you for that, talk to a trustworthy friend who can help you. And if you feel you have no one to talk to, write to us at contactjaipurwomenblog@gmail.com with the subject ‘SOS – Domestic abuse’. Our female coordinator will get in touch with you and will try her best to support you, keeping in mind your privacy.

And, if you want to help a woman who is going through this, feel free to contact us. We will arrange a woman psychologist for her and will help her come out from this trauma. Domestic abuse is one of the most common kinds of harassment women go through but still, many women don’t speak about it. Let’s be brave, let’s change our lives.