March 13, 2013

After being released (fired?) by Fox News, past half-governor of Alaska and failed vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin will be writing a new book. Or at least her ghost writer will be again employed. Considering all the issues that she could approach—deficit, tax cuts for the wealthy, terrorism, mass killings, drugs, etc.—it is perhaps surprising that she has chosen to write about The War on Christmas. But that’s Sarah Palin.

Thus publisher HarperCollins’ announcement that “#1 bestselling author…Sarah Palin” will tackle the pressing concern of those who want to destroy that most secular of all religious holidays, Christmas:

“Now, in A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas, Palin defends one of the most sacred holidays of the Christian faith against the politically correct elite who have hijacked the season. In her book, Palin defines the case for holding traditional Christmas dear to our hearts and for bringing back the freedom to express the Christian values of the season. Palin asserts the importance of preserving Jesus Christ in Christmas—whether in public displays, school concerts, pageants, and to each other—and laments the over-commercialization and homogenization of Christmas in today’s society.”

The press release continues:

“This will be a fun, festive, thought provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas. In a time where Christian values are challenged, A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas will be a call to action for readers to openly celebrate the joys of their Christianity, and say Merry Christmas to one another.”

“First the liberals came for the Christmas cards and we said nothing. Then they came for the lawn decorations, the plastic angels and such. And still good Christians said nothing. Then they came for the tinsel and right-wingers failed to speak up. Then they came for Santa Claus and Rudolph and Bambi.”

He continued by recommending a banner with the slogan “live free and drink eggnog” that has a Christmas tree in the middle—sort of like “life free and die” with the coiled snake. He imagines a bumper sticker: “You’ll have to pry my cold dead fingers off my fruit cake.” Palin can move from her past focus on “unplugged grannies” to one on “unplugged Christmas trees.”

You have just seven months to wait until Palin’s third book is released in November—just in time for the commercial Christmas season. Of course, if you want to avoid the commercialization of Christmas, as Palin recommends, you won’t buy the book.