MOH issues. To keep her or stay without a MOH

If you’re gonna be nasty or rude please do not comment and just move along.

Everyone one who is still reading, thank you.

So months ago I asked my friend, we’ll call her M rto be my MOH. She knows the only reason I was asking her was because the two girls I asked could not do it because of prior events but they both agreed to be bridesmaids (they didn’t want to let me down and be there fully as a MOH) plus at the time me and M were always hanging out (only because her and her boyfriend were broken up) plus she loves weddings, I knew she’d love to do it.

Well now her boyfriend and her are back together and me and her are more distant then ever. She knows how I feel, that I feel like she’s a different person when with him and all that. However she doesn’t know I don’t want her to be MOH anymore.

When I asked her I had my doubts be we had recently became close but I figured since the wedding was still a year away at the time we had time to make our bond even stronger but that hasn’t been the case.

I have my aunt being marton of honor but I need a MOH because my aunt has kids and can’t handle being MOH alone but I don’t wanna look back on my wedding and think jeez I really wish I would have had someone else.

I know this may seem so silly and I’m sorry if it’s coming across as rude or anything but I always thought my MOH would be someone who knew me like the back of their hand and that I could see my friendship lasting with for forever. Since she’s been with her boyfriend I see this friendship ending right after the wedding.

@eecuadrado: When you say you’re only having a MOH because your aunt can’t handle the duties by herself…what exactly do you mean? Are you talking about for the wedding itself or all the pre-wedding parties? If you didn’t really want her to be in the bridal party originally and are unhappy with it, then maybe you need to talk to her. However; if she ends up breaking up with her bf before the wedding will wish she was still in it? One of my BM’s has a new bf and I haven’t heard from her since…unfortunately, I know whenever she gets a new bf she has a tendancy to go MIA and as annoying as it is, its not worht arguing with her about since regardless nothing will change. But if you think talking to her or taking her out of the bridal party will save you drama on the day of your wedding than better to do it now and give her 9 months to get over it and forgive you than wait til closer to the wedding.

@hazyleyedbeauty: I mean the pre-wedding details and helping at the wedding as well. My aunt’s youngest is 4 so she’ll have her hands full with her babies. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her in the wedding but that I would have prefered my cousin. They are always doing the same dance together then broken up but the problem in my eyes is we have lost so much time already its like even if she broke up with him I know they’ll be back together in weeks and its like then what? I don’t even know how to tell her. I figured since she knew I really wanted my cosuin and it crushed me not having her as MOH maybe seeing if my cousin will tell her she’s gonna be MOH that way it’s not like she’s out of the wedding but just not MOH. What do you think?

I would just leave things are they are and make sure everything is taken care of so all anyone has to do is show up on the day of the wedding. They can all work together for a shower if they decide to throw one. I would tell or “demote” anyone, I also think I would quit mentioning how someone was my thrid choice, and picked just because I thought I had to have one. I am guessing those types of comments wouldn’t feel good hearing if this came back to your MOH.

I hope wedding planning/life settles for you, it seems like it has been full of drama so far.

I dont suggest having your cousin tell her! That is rude. If you don’t want to have her be MOH just tell her! Possibly just suggest that she seems a little distracted lately and your cousin has been helping you more than she has been and then ask if she would be ok with just being a bridesmaid instead! Why didn’t you ask your cousin in the first place if you really wanted her to be the MOH/you were crushed that she wasn’t your MOH like you stated?

oh! she was one of the previous girls you asked. i thought you were just picking her out of no where. i still suggest you just bring it up gently telling her shes too distracted lately. Maybe by you telling her that will change her attitude about the situation and put her boyfriend on the back burner to concentrate more on the wedding?