Friday, August 24, 2012

I've wanted to write about this for a long time, but the words and where to start have escaped me in so many ways. 14 years ago my oldest son was diagnosed with Autism. At 2 1/2 years old he spoke less than 10 words and did not string any of them together. What would be "typical" at this age is somewhere around 100 words with some simple 2 word strands put together. He would line up his toy cars, throw screaming fits when they did not stay in place, and did not respond to his own name being called (but would dance when he heard music). He did not make any eye contact, and would try to defy gravity with Lego towers arranged in upside down "L" formations, leading to more screaming and crying fits lasting for hours when this did not work out for him. There was no pointing when he wanted or needed something, only screaming and crying and tantrums. He was almost 2 before he started walking, but once he was walking he was running!
I knew what was going on from reading an article in a magazine, I just didn't have an official word for it yet, given by a doctor in a white coat who was supposed to be an expert.
After months on a waiting list, we finally went to see a specialist. Who, not to my surprise, told me my son has Autism. Okay. Now what? "Well, he may never speak more than he already does. He may not ever want to play with other kids, he may not ever grow out of his tantrums. You can go online and Google Autism and find some support groups, and here's a class you can take about what Autism is. There is no cure." Okay. Really? That's it? That's the best you can do with all of your expertise and your medical training? You are going to tell me all the things you think my kid cannot do and nothing about what is possible? I think the doctor was expecting me to cry. But why? Now that I knew what the issue was we could get to working on it. So what? It's not a death sentence. It just means he learns differently. Now my job was to figure out how. Let me tell you, Mr. Dr., my son will do whatever he pleases. If he wants to talk, he will talk. He will do whatever he dreams of doing, I will not set limitations in the form of can't. That is the one thing I can't do.
So, he got speech therapy with sign language, and once he started talking he did not stop! Rapid talking, non-stop talking, repeating things, laughing, asking me over and over again after jokes, "Is that funny?" Sometimes I missed the silence, but I have always been so happy for the words and the tantrums faded, but did not completely disappear. Okay, barrier 1 knocked down. Anytime I think something is too hard and I can't do it I just go back to this.
But it gets better. Way better.
Sit down, buckle your seatbelt because the rest of this story is a ride you don't want to miss.
Fast forward to about 3 years ago. Let's just say puberty and Autism were an ugly combination for my son. Ugly being a bit of an understatement. So this kid who is "not supposed to" want to play with other kids had become a social beast. He wanted to be in the middle of everything- playing sports and being with all the other kids. P.S.- he had really poor hand-eye coordination and taught himself with hours of practice how to shoot hoops and throw and catch baseballs and footballs. Practice, practice, practice. He would not give up. Well 12 and 13 year olds don't always follow the rules when you play games at recess. This caused meltdowns at school, phone calls for me to pick him up, suspensions, all kinds of mayhem. It was like a repeat of a 2 year old's tantruming but in a big boy body. During this time I could feel my heart literally breaking inside my chest. I did not know what else to do or how to help him. Sadness and despair filled his words and tainted a school year that was supposed to be fun and full of happy memories. My boy who is so smart, silly and full of life and laughter now spent his days asking why, telling me it wasn't fair. I took to reminding him (and then myself) that "it is not about what happens to you, it is about how you choose to deal with it." I would drop him off at school know I was going to get a call to pick him up later that day. My own anxiety level was sky high. I could not breathe. I felt most days like I was going to have a heart attack and my heart was going to just give out and stop beating. I needed to learn patience on a whole new level. This was so unfair. I did not know how to help him. I wondered sometimes how much more our family could take. You know the saying things have to get better before they get worse? Yeah, you could say that happened.
I had to quit my job because the calls to pick him up were happening everyday now. He was getting suspended from school so much- they just did not know what to do with him. This was not for lack of everyone trying, but what happens when a kid doesn't fit the typical mold that they are supposed to squeeze into? This social issue was a whole new problem for the autism experts. I tried home schooling him, Skyping science lessons with the school from home, and working up to going back to school, one hour at a time, leaving out what would be the problem areas. He would make some gains and then it would become too much again. In the end, he was expelled from school. The district gave us 3 schools to look at. One, a mental institution who told me "kids on the spectrum don't do well here at all.", another that required the kids to self report every hour in front of the whole class and receive feedback in front of everyone about how they did (this seemed spirit breaking and degrading to me), and then another school where the kids seemed happy and had a lot of structure. After a lot of tears and discussions we reluctantly sent my son to this new school. He wanted to be with "lots of kids" and in a big group. This was for sure not that. He was extremely motivated to get back out into the world with the big fish. He had a few bumps but nothing like what he was doing before. Things started to get better. And, in record time, just over a year, he was transitioning back to a regular Jr. High School. He started out by trying out for the basketball team but got cut, so he kept stats for the Jr. Varsity basketball team at their games. He told his teammates what they needed to do to catch up or to win, cheered them on, told them how well they were doing. He made friends with the kids and their parents, asking who their son was and telling them how the game was going for their kid. The boys on the team voted him "Most Inspiring" at the end of the season. We added classes at the Jr. High, one class at a time. Until we got to 3 classes, and then, ahead of schedule, we added the rest because he was doing amazing and loving school. He joined the track team and was elected one of the 5 team captains by his peers.
I was told his transition was made in record time- that they had never seen a kid transition out of a program so fast. When he makes up his mind to do something, he does it! And now my son is playing football with the high school boys. Because this is his dream. Don't get me wrong, I am super uncomfortable with my tall, super skinny guy running amongst boys at least 2 times his size. But who am I to say "you can't" when already he has shown me "I can, and I will". Every day this amazes me. Regularly I remind him of this. When he tries to tell me "I can't" we re-frame it. Anything is possible. Anything.
On a side note, as everything was falling apart something interesting happened. I realized I needed to find a way to control my own stress, so I could help both of my boys better. This is when I found yoga. From the first class I knew this was what I had to do. For an hour I could breathe, I did not have to think about everything else going on around me. My mat became like a big pit that I could throw all of the stress, anger, fear, frustration and sadness into. I would walk out of class and have messages on my voicemail to pick my son up, but I could use my breath to calm my mind so that I could help my son cope better. Slowly my heart stopped breaking and both of my boys began to not just survive, but to thrive. My younger son has also overcome many obstacles as well- growing out of a speech and motor delays, and surfing through anxiety issues. He is equally amazing in his own way. The impact of this practice and how my boys inspire me everyday would be a whole post for another day. But as you can see, we live and extraordinary life. Every day, even if there are struggles is amazing. The only way left to go is up. The next time you think you can't, think again. If a 14 year old boy can do all this in his short life, think of what is possible in your own. Then go do it!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

After reading several articles this weekend, I am acutely aware that I can no longer be silent. We have the power to push for change, and while I may be one small voice, I can use it to empower others. Hopefully, to empower you. The issue at hand here is our food supply. The food that is intended to nurture us is being messed with. This makes me angry, and to be truthful, a little afraid. Afraid because even though I make the choice to try and feed my family the healthiest food possible, I may not be able to get all the information I need to make those choices. If rules are changed and GMO's are allowed, unlabeled into our food supplies or into our organic products what we don't know really can hurt us. So, time to take some action. Here are a few things you can do (and I have already done):

If you can't afford all organic, the EWG has a list of the dirty dozen- http://www.ewg.org/foodnews/Truth be told, I try to buy as much as I can organic, but that is not always possible or affordable. I also joined a local CSA, which I absolutely love. This is another way to support your local organic farmers. On a side note, all corn in the US is GMO, unless it is specifically labeled organic.

If you want to support the EWG (Environmental Working Group) with a donation, great. But the information that is on the site is there and it is free. This is an amazing resource, not just for information on foods and pesticides but on safe body products and other environmental issues as well. As a consumer your dollar speaks the loudest. By choosing not to buy GMO's (or conventional) produce, and choosing organic instead (or at least non GMO) you are showing where your support is. If people don't buy it, eventually the store will not sell it.

This is a starter and these are 4 simple steps. I could go into healthy eating and making the choice to eat less processed foods, but that is a whole subject by itself. My own way of eating and how I feed my family have evolved dramatically since starting this blog. Then again, so has the whole world of gluten free eating.
So, get to it! You might be one small voice, but when we join together we become one loud voice. Let's make this a safer, healthier planet for everyone on it.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's been awhile since I've gotten a post up. It's pretty busy here (I declare Oct.-Feb cupcake season since it seems to be). This is a work in progress but I thought I'd post my version of eggnog that I make for the boys. While I was making this I hit my not so funny funny bone on the bottle of 'nog and spilled some of the "milk" all over the floor. The dog was quite happy about this since she loves coconut and hemp milk, but since I was trying to measure this may require some adjustments. I will update when I make another batch if I find this needs more tweaking. This is a small batch, which goes really fast. You can double or triple if you wish as it will last awhile (if you don't drink it all up!) Without further ado, I give you egg-less, cook free eggnog!

3/4 cups (or 6 ounces) Vanilla Hemp Milk (I like Pacific brand)
16 ounces Vanilla Coconut Milk (So Delicious from the carton)
3/4 cup Vanilla coconut creamer (So Delicious)
3/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. agave nectar
buttered rum flavoring- I used 4 drops. Normally we don't use artificial flavors here. This is an extremely small amount of very concentrated flavoring. You could use rum extract or real rum (since this was for the boys I did not do that. You could cook the mixture to cook out any alcohol if you wish).

Pour all ingredients into a wide mouthed bottle or jar. Close lid tightly and shake until well mixed. Taste test and adjust ingredients if desired. Super easy. The longer the mixture sits, the stronger the flavors will get.If you don't care for coconut milk you could use another milk of your choice, but you want it thick and creamy so just rice milk may not give you your desired results. Canned coconut milk could be used in place of the creamer.

This is best served cold, but you could probably use it in home made versions of egg nog lattes or for cooking where egg nog is called for.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Tonight I made baked spaghetti for the boys. Only, this was no ordinary spaghetti. For the noodles I used a spaghetti squash that I baked first. I also threw in half of a spiralized cucumber. I simmered the sauce, using one of my favorite jarred sauces, and some ground beef that I had left over (this could be very easily made vegan- you could add ground mushrooms or some kind of meat sub if you wanted or just stick with the sauce itself). I mixed the sauce and noodles up, put them in a glass baking dish, and topped it with some Daiya cheese. No real measurements here, just toss it all together! Baked Spaghetti is pretty forgiving. The side dish was roasted broccoli (I got this delicious idea from Elana, over here http://www.elanaspantry.com/oven-roasted-broccoli/). For dessert I had some left over sweet red cherries I needed to use up. I infused the cherries with agave nectar and lemon- I let this mixture boil down for 10 minutes or so and then made little tart crusts using some almond flour, vanilla, a pinch of sea salt, melted coconut oil, and just a little agave. I made the crusts by pressing the mixture into ramekins and baked them at 375 F for about 10 min. I then filled them with the cherry mixture, topped with a little more of the topping mixture and baked them for about 10 more minutes. Delicious!
Another meal idea is to make Thai salad rolls and create the dipping sauce of your choice.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

When I started this blog I thought I would just have a running list of GF places and resources for my state. Just a place with references for people that ask me or for when I run into someone in the store staring at all the gluten free items and looking totally lost and I can't help but open my mouth and ask them if they need help. Well, since starting this up places are popping up everywhere, and I mean everywhere- it would be impossible to get it all on here (I can try, and I will, but happily GF is becoming so much more common and so much easier to find these days). And then, I get friends asking for friends of friends out of state where they can find info and buy food. Okay, so specifically for WA state will not help that. Broaden the focus. I can do that. But something was still missing... why did I start this blog and then have such a hard time adding to it. What's missing? Why am I having a hard time writing about the great food we ate out and the fab baked goods I found and well, my crazy adventures in the kitchen (picture food chemistry experiments like making yogurt and sprouting nuts and seeds)? Then, I finally figured it out- because the blog as I had it set up was cold, impersonal, and so-not-me. I value my life, my privacy, and have many reasons for keeping some things offline. But, my writing style is not so "just the facts ma'am" because that's not how I operate. So hopefully no one minds here, but I plan to change this up a little. I want to put some online places I like to shop on here for out of starters and then I will review some of the places I have tried this summer, maybe even some faves that I have made. I would also like so say that I am an equal opportunity eater. Meaning, I like to try all kinds of ways of eating and food that work with our (my family's) lifestyle. Raw, vegan, cooked, and yes, some meat too. Hopefully I can share a little something for everyone. My latest adventure in my own eating is moving towards eating a whole lot more plants and trying to get my 2 monkeys (I mean boys- and make that 3 since the hubby eats here too) to eat more veggies, because who can't use more of that? :-)