You'll never be a Kiwi till you love our watties sauce!

So like I was filling in my census form last night and I came to that curly one about ethnicity that's been having a stir in the MSM -does this blue eyed blonde write down he is a proud New Zealander or tick the New Zealand European box like a good little conformist?

It's a question on ethnicity, rather than nationality I suppose… so I was heading NZ European way - but to be sure I looked up the definition of 'ethnic' in the dictionary mum gave me when I was 12 - it had the usual ra ra about race, minority but it also gave the suggestion that ethnic was grouping by shared beliefs, languages etc. There was nothing about Buttered Chicken.

I thought yep, New Zealanders could fit that description. Our common belief is the All Blacks will win the Rugby World Cup and that we should have Brought Back Buck. Hence I'm an ethnic New Zealander.

So I wrote down New Zealander. And then I thought, that will just help screw the stats in terms of their intended use. So I ticked New Zealand European box too.

If they had of asked me to fill in a box saying I was a pakeha I would have baulked cos that's just so…. rangi.

and you should be damn grateful you don't have to trawl through the back page of the guide notes to work out all the god damn tribes you belong to and where they are in the country - such a ghastly effort

My boyfriend's biggest concern was, "why do they need to know if I smoke?" he was really offended by that. I just breathed a sigh of relief that they're not gathering statistics on the number of people who drive without their full licences :P