Stratagem

Action

Act as if you are harmless or a friend in order to get close. Then suddenly
attack them.

Give gifts and send formal delegations of
friendship. Sign
treaties. Host sumptuous parties. Show every sign of respect and concern for
them until they trust you completely (or at least enough for you to achieve your
goals).

Make friends with their key officials who have important information. Make
these more loyal to you (or otherwise bribe or blackmail them) so they will
betray their employers.

Plot your moves in deepest secret and unleash them at speed so there is no
chance for reprisals, counter-attack or other ways of defending.

Number

This is the tenth stratagem of thirty-six.

Group name

Stratagems for
Confrontation

Alternative names

Conceal a Knife Behind a Smile

Or even:

Use Kindness to Hide Cruelty

History

Li Yufu was a scheming Tang minister who had a way with people. He seemed
kind and friendly, but woe betide anyone who crossed him. He cultivated good
terms with the Emperor who ignored complaints about him for a long time, but
eventually banished him to a frontier post. Many years later, a poet wrote of Li
Yufu, where 'a dagger hides behind the smiles'.

Discussion

A critical principle of this stratagem is delay. Armies are often eager for
battle, but waiting for the best moment can not only increase the chance of
success, but also being able to do so with minimum loss.

In politics as in work and society, knowing who your friends are and who you
can trust is critical, and
we invest much time and effort in both gaining trust and assessing the
trustworthiness of those who would be our friends. Corporate takeovers are often
full of encouraging words, yet it is common for a few to benefit well and many
to suffer.

One of the traps of assessing others is that we often think we are better at
it than we actually are. To function in society we need to have a generally
trusting attitude and if others act as if they are friends then we will accept
this in good faith. Even in the suspicious corridors of political power, it is
necessary and often expedient to trust others.

The effects of
betrayal can be rather severe, so pretending to be friends is a dangerous
ploy as betrayed people may seek irrational and disproportionate revenge (as Li
Yufu eventually discovered).

Despite the darker side, the general strategy of kindness in difficult
circumstances can be a very positive thing. If a business is failing, for
example, if people who are being sacked are treated with humanity, then
reputations and dignity can be preserved.