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James Hyett, of Saffron Walden (which is just north of Bishop's Stortford, also apparently a real place), went absolutely nuts on Henlow Car Sales after declaring that the Porsche it sold him a decade ago was "no good," according to the BBC.

He used the aforementioned axe and knife to smash an office window inside the dealership and a the back window of a BMW parked just inside.

Mr. Hyett then crossed the street to a restaurant, where he slashed a tire belonging to an innocent Land Rover in the parking lot:

When chased by a restaurant worker, he stopped and, with the axe in one hand and the knife in the other, said: "Come on then."

He was apparently arraigned in court quite quickly after being arrested, where he was sentenced to to a bit of community service, along with a "mental health treatment requirement."

In a totally unrelated story, Mr. Hyett was previously arrested for leaving a severed deer's head on top of a grocery store cash register.