Sunday, December 28, 2008

Aaron & Melanie were in Nampa for the holiday. They consented to loan Morgan to us for his first overnight sleepover.

We don't have a crib but I thought he would do fine in Arielle's bed. (She was at Chanel's house for the weekend.)

So I jammied Morgan and took him into Arielle's room. There, ensconsced on a heaping pile of quilts lay the cat, Dashaway. She owns this bed, all the other beds, the couch arms, and all patches of sunshine on the floors 24/7. She took one look at Morgan; he chirped, "kitty, kitty, kitty"; she put on her grump face, and scrammed away.

We proceeded to pray, read stories, sing, etc and Morgan was completely happy to snuggle down. I turned off the light, left the door cracked slightly, and what followed was 30 minutes of silence. I was pretty sure he was asleep.

Meanwhile the cat must have forgotten her bed had a new occupant and jumped on again. Presently I heard Morgan in the hall chirping, "kitty, kitty, kitty?'. Dashaway dashed and I put Morgan down again.

Dashaway barely tolerates her people (us) and has no love whatsoever for strangers. Evidently, short little strangers are even worse. She spent the next 24 hours skulking and scowling, ever on the defense for the Young Usurper.

Friday, December 19, 2008

An irrigation canal runs through our neighborhood. In warmer weather it's quite the hang-out for Mallards and geese because friendly people supply food.

Yesterday I was driving up the street when I saw a large white goose pacing about the curb next to the canal. But no--at closer range it was actually a very chubby and bright white Leghorn rooster. And a magnificent speciman he was, especially compared to the scraggly, manure-caked hens we grew up with.

I wondered why a rooster would be strolling the neighborhood. Nobody keeps chickens as pets. Nobody keeps chickens for food or eggs nowdays either. I had an incredible urge to pick him and bring him home.

I laughed. He must be a sign from God. (Who evidently dispenses humor along with His tender mercies.)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Aaron & Melanie took us on a grand tour of IKEA. Here's my description of IKEA. Teeny tiny bits of apartment furnishings in a GREAT BIG MONSTROSITY OF A STORE!!! Do you love to walk from Draper to Provo all under one roof? (And back again, because it's 2 floors.) Morgan does. He would make an excellent pioneer. I loved the looking but could have used a Sedgeway or Wickistick or wheelchair. Thanks goodness we sandwiched all this between visits to the IKEA restaurant for free breakfast and a Swedish meatballs lunch. By the way, this was Black Friday.

So we get back to A&M's apartment and I throw myself on their couch. Arielle, who has eked out $38.00 from her miniscule Subway wages and saved it for just such an occasion as Black Friday, says it's time for the University Mall. I had promised in a weak pre-Thanksgiving moment to take her to DEB, which has blue jeans her size and good sales. But after IKEA, I think clemency should be granted for lying to her. You are not getting me off this couch.

She begs, "But you promised and I want you to come and I need you to come!" repeat, repeat, repeat

Kevin throws in guilt, "Now Jana, you won't have that many more times of her wanting your company." "Well, heck", I think. I don't know which of the 3 people in this conversation I should be maddest at.

I surrender, with concessions.

Arielle pores over a map of the mall, finding the nearest entrance to Deb. Kevin drops us at the door. We walk two storefronts to Deb. She finds 2 perfect pair of jeans + a gorgeous blouse (marked down from $31.00 to $9.00) next door at Maurices, and we are DONE. May I never step foot in another mall on Black Friday.

You know what my favorite Christmas was? When Arianne & Ciarran did all my shopping for me. I had a hysterectomy as an excuse that year.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

TV shows1. Everybody loves Raymond2. So you think you can dance3. Food unwrapped4. that cake decorating show that's on cable5. that "what you should wear" show on cable6. that "buy the wedding dress" show on cable7. Gen Conf ha ha guilt on the rest of you for not mentioning this8. all the dejunking/house selling, remodeling shows on cable. The thing is, we don't have cable. This is why hotel rooms are so fun. Unlimited cable and junkfood and Kevin

What I did yesterday1. Woke up at 5:30AM thinking what I always think: "How soon before I can get back in this bed again?" 2. Worked 73 medical billing accts/did not lose temper3. Read LA Times article on picketing LA Temple & all the comments attached to article. Decided Pro-props & anti-props will never speak the same language and never get each other.4. Wondered if God was feeling like some Old Testament vengefulness If so, I was looking forward to it. KA-BOOOM5. Told Arielle to pick up her room6. Bought 5 loaves of the best Oat Nut bread7. Drove Arielle to Subway ONLY because it was raining!!8. Worked on my next SS lesson/banged head against wall, as is normal during early week prep

Looking forward to:1. Saturday's BSU game2. my lunch hour every day--its like a mini vacation from work3. Thanksgiving4. all weekends with Chanel5. all weekends with Kevin6. extracting cash from Aaron after winning yet another annual snow bet7. reading to Morgan, playing with Morgan8. sleeping in on Saturdays

Wish list1. to move my house to a quiet street2. to do a combo Disneyworld/cruise vacation with my kids3. to take a writing class on a regular basis because it forces discipline4. to be rich5. to get a new kitten when the 2 elderly ladies die NOT a dog, Kevin6. to take more vacations with Kevin and explore more interesting places7. to knock the socks off my boss with awesome productivity so that he.........8. ......pays me double for only working parttime9. to see Arielle safely, happily, financially stabilly esconsed in college

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

"Yes, Kevin, for our anniversary take clothing. You might be cold or wet or outdoors. We'll see how things develop."

With that, we hopped in the car for our anniversary weekend, pointed it towards Boise, and kept going. Passed exit after exit and at #173--"Take this one" I said. Twin Falls Idaho. Why there? I had a plan.

#1 I wanted to visit the sight of Rulon Keller's death. Remember him sisters? He was our home teacher when I was in my early teens. I loved him because he paid attention to me, not just my parents. He & two other LDS businessman hit a patch of black ice on their way to SLC and flipped their car into the Malad Gorge. Two of them died; the other lost a leg. Rescuers had to rappel into the canyon and one of them nearly lost his life. Afterwards dad's assessment was, "Of all the places on Interstate 84 to hit black ice! It's just flat old desert for hundreds of miles and they had to go off road there."

I have been curious ever since. On the freeway you cross the gorge in half a blink and can't see a thing. Kevin and I spent several hours in the park, walking the footpaths, reading all the geology signs, and looking down down down into that narrow volcanic canyon where the Malad River is so compressed it roars and cuts the canyon ever deeper. I could not imagine how terrifying that rescue must have been or how they removed the car. Back then LifeFlight had not been invented but no pilot in his right mind would have descended into such a narrow slot anyway.

#2 Hagerman Valley. I tell you, it is one sweet drive from Bliss to Twin through this valley. Again, you can't see it from the freeway, but it is quite the contrast to drop down off the desert into 10,000 Springs, green pastures, trout hatcheries, andcolorful family fruit stands. You wouldn't expect Hagerman to have a chef in town, but they do. He's done game-cooking shows on the food network. I was set on having one of those trout I saw swimming earlier and it plus the wild rice were to die for.

#4 Herrett Planetarium & museum on the CSI campus. Well, we couldn't get our lazy selves out of the hotel in time for the 2PM star show, so we wandered the museum instead. You just never know where adventure awaits. It featured a Mayan history exhibit and was decked to the teeth like a jungle. (Think Indiana Jones ride @ Disneyland) This included boas and pythons and iguanas and neon poisonous tree frogs. At length I noticed an elderly gentleman opening the frog exhibits and tapping a canning jar coated in dust into the cages. "What for dinner?", I asked. "Wingless fruit flies" It truly did look like dust, but the frogs were hip hopping crazy all of a sudden.

This drew Kevin's attention which led to a conversation with Nick, the frog feeder. He said he was in charge of all the live animals in the exibit and in fact, had another 50 snakes and assorted reptiles in his basement offices. Did we want to see them? Yes we did.

Oh boy. Two hours later, I had seen a lifetime's worth. Turns out Nick was an amateur herpatologist who took snakes on the road for school, library, fair programs. He knew all his snakes by name and petted, cooed and talked to each as you would a beloved puppy. They were caged individually. He loved their colors, textures, and patterns. He knew all there was to know about their native countries. (These were exotic snakes, acquired from local pet owners who grew tired of the upkeep. No venomous snakes though) He detailed which had been abused as evidenced by their behavior when he got them and how it took 6 months to gentle abused snakes before they gave up attacking and biting at each feeding. We heard the story of the python who escaped into the ceiling. Nick, who knew every nook and cranny of the building, crawled up after him with fresh rat scent on his hands. The snake, catching the scent, leaped and coiled tight around Nick's arm, sinking his teeth in a full circle around Nick's wrist. SNakes have the kind of teeth you can't pry off. So Nick scrambled down the ladder to the nearest sink and held it's head under cold water. VIOla! He had a photograph to show us the bite marks and he said snakes don't have dirty mouths like dogs, so no infection.

We also learned by personal experience one thing they don't teach you on Animal Planet. An 80 lb python releases it bowels and bladder when shedding skin and makes a STINK to rival chicken manure! This was magnified by the deliberately close, warm, humid environment in which Nick kept him plus his 30 stinky snakey roommates which Nick insisted on showing/fondling one at a time. Thus proving to us yes, you can eventually become accustomed to one of the 10 worst odors in the world.

#5 We wondered why our hotel breakfasts were crowded with college kids in tight Wranglers, pointy boots, spurs and cowboy hats. CSI was hosting an intercollegiate rodeo with teams from all over Idaho & Utah. I like rodeo and I liked this even better than the Stampede. Smaller arena, up close viewing, rodeo stock every bit a jumpy as at professional rodeos.I had never seen girl's goat-tying before. I will describe. A timid and trembly little goat is tethered at one end of the arena. bleeeat A girl on horse, charges from the opposite end, leaps from the horse, grabs the poor goat, slams him down on one side, and ties his feet. Well it was no wonder they had needed a fresh goat for each girl. I mean, I sat nose to barrel during the barrel racing and when those girls came tearing down the lane, you had to wonder if you wouldn't end up with horse and rider in your lap. Poor baby goats. I felt their fear.

The announcer was a hoot. Midway he announced the freeway between Burley & Utah was closed down for snow . "So you cowboys who reckoned on drivin' home tonight best git yerself to Walmart and buy a sleepin' bag instead."

So that was our anniversary. Snakes and cowboys. You don't see those on your average Caribbean cruise. (And the hotel served big fat cookies every afternoon.)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

So last night I took the family out for Oreo milkshakes at Jack in the Box. The gal rings up my total, then looks at me sort of funny and asks, "How old are you?" I had to think for a split second. "Hmmm, I believe that would be 55."

"Then you get a senior discount." she replied, subtracting 50 cents off each milkshake.

I fairly flipped cartwheels right there in front of my family. YESSSSS! I love this age.

Meanwhile, Kevin stood shaking his head behind me. He thinks I am being ridiculous. He'll never have this thrill because he won't admit to anything beyond 29.

-------------Note to Aaron and his Christmas wish list. Pssshaw! For you, I'm going off list

Sunday, September 21, 2008

My first job out of college was in the management program for K-Mart. My first store was in San Bernardino, CA. One of the store areas for which I was responsible was the garden shop. This included an outdoor area with aisles of bedding plants and flowers. Reporting to work daily at 8AM, I was supposed to walk through the plant aisles to reach the alarms panel or light panel, or some such device necessary for opening the store.

And what did I find? Not one aisle was safe to walk through. All night long--everynight--garden spiders, hundreds of them spun giant orb webs connecting aisle to aisle, petunias to pansies, rose bushes to venus flytraps. There they hung, all 8 legs spread-eagled in center of webs, big as Cadillacs, ugly as sin. It was my worst nightmare, compounded by the rest of the management team convulsed with laughter over sending the latest sucker, ME, to turn on the lights.

I can't remember how I handled it. Probably I conned an employee.

The thing is, by the time the store opened at 10AM, all spiders and webs had disappeared. Shoppers thronged, never knowing what was evidently lurking under leaves. At dusk, the spiders were on the job again.

You might want to consider this they next time you buy bedding plants. Check under the leaves.

Add this to one of the several dozens reasons I hated my year working for K-Mart. I've had two horrid, no good, very bad years in my lifetime. K-Mart and 6th grade.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Now if only someone would invent a Spider Death Laser. The spiders of September are moving indoors. Kevin sat at the table reading the morning paper & killed 4 honkin aberrations. I give him points for killing though. Usually he scoops them into canning jars, turns them loose in the hedge. I know for a fact they can run back to the house faster than he.

And our cats--such useless old ladies. They've nary a smidgen of aptitude for spidering.

I invite you to vote: Is releasing spiders back to nature far past the extreme edge of compassion?

Never, never, never brag about not having a church calling. This is what I'm saying.

Teacher Development--I've done the calling several times before and find it to be a squeamish position. You don't want to ruin anybody's testimony or confidence but after sitting thru week after week of Sominex lessons (in all settings and age groups) you want to knock heads together.

Is it too much to ask a teacher to open their manual more that 24 hours before the lesson?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

3. Monday night home evenings---way more fun than we Nelson were having on our own. I believe Kevin & I are tired after 32 years of Monday nights to plan. Nowdays we simply show up, whack golf balls, volleyballs, softballs or whatever other ball game they're playing and eat. Clarification: I do the above. Kevin gets waylaid to his office to accept confessions.

4. No church calling for me. The kids run the show and some have been adamant about NOT wanting the adult women's input or expertise. I'm all over that. Miriam Adamson, the former Bp's wife, described her job as the biggest church vacation ever.

5. My former 8th Ward members heaped loads of sympathy and condolences upon me. At first I thought I was entitled to such, but now I see I should be deflecting it back to them. 8th warders have all the work and I have all the fun.

6. My little black book--slowly but surely filling up with the names & interesting details of ward members. I study it before each Sac Mtg and thus walk in prepared to be friendly on a first name basis. Because of the constant turnover, some of the girls (and the counselors wives) have told me they simply can't keep up with new names and faces. Well hey, I tell them to get a black book. It's reputation proceedeth me. The kids say, "Here she comes with that book. Sis Nelson, what have you got written about me in there?" I declare--THIS shall be my church calling: Black Book Specialist

7. Kevin is focused. He juggles one ball now instead of a dozen. And he can't be grumpy at home anymore, because guess what? Inspiration does not flow when you bark at your wife. tee hee hee hee hee This is me doing a happy dance.

8. Just once in awhile, now and then, only sporadically we Bishoprickers get to plan a Monday Night Bishopric Special. First turn is coming up in 2 weeks. It's gonna be Nelson family games. i.e. the flour & marble game, pig out on cake game, andthimble-of-water-in -your-face game. or some such hilarity

Saturday, August 30, 2008

It used to bother me when Arielle planned her future to the minute, always needing to know the next fun activity while in the midst of the current. example: We go to Disneyland (or some such place) and she wants to know "what are we going to do next?"I always said, "Can't you appreciate THIS moment, the one for which you've been planning that last 6 months?" She said, "Mom, I always have to have something fun to look forward to."

Well amen, sister! I quit knocking this trait in her when I finally realized I do the same thing. Best way to cure the post-vacation blues? Plan the next one.

So I pleased to announce that 30 days after our return from the Oregon Coast, I have nailed down our 32nd wedding anniversary agenda.

For those of you who don't know, Kevin & I take turns surprising each other. This requires much secrecy, teasing, and inventiveness to match the yo-yo nature of our budget. We've had our adventures such as:

•sleeping in a barn•getting deathly ill after a seafood dinner (the tuna wasn't supposed to be raw)•riding a Grayhound bus full of white-haired seniors, older than us by decades•celebrating Morgan's birth•literally tasting the water at Soda Springs•importing Mom Nelson from S. Cal for a weekend of getting-to-know-her-better•riding the Thunder Mountain Express

This year: ha ha Like I'm going to tell. It does involve somewhere we've never been before, culinary daring, and volcanic rock.

Back to Arielle and me: Evidently we two live for the breaks in ordinary life. I've worked for CHI almost 8 years now. Previous to that I had never held a job for more than 1 year. I think it was a shock to the system to re-discover the vacation parsimony of employed life. I traded away free time for income, which income pays for my vacation fixes, pitifully parceled out though they may be. Too much irony.

In the meantime, I mapquest and drool about the keyboard in anticipation of October.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Hey Tiffany, If you read this let me know if it brings out your inner pit bull.

So--Mom Ison received her government stimulus check. On Tuesday evening, she endorsed it. I sealed it in an envelope along with a deposit slip. and dropped it in the night deposit box at Home Federal in Nampa.

Wednesday: (about noon) Mom gets a call from Angie @ Home Federal saying the envelope contained nothing but the deposit slip. Angela calls me. I call Angie at the bank. I ask her to detail their nightbox opening procedures. She says she (customer service manager) and Lead (June) are the only 2 people who work the box. Together they unlock box, take contents to a separate room, open all envelopes with a letter opener, log contents on a daily master sheet, and do the deposits. She suggests I should search mom's home and my car. I tell her this is a government check, printed on a heavier, stiffer paper stock which made the envelope heavier and I'm quite sure it still felt heavy and stiff when I dropped it in the night box. Nevertheless I will search home and car.

Naturally nothing turns up, but we have, thank goodness, saved the letter from the Treasury Dept which came with the check.I call the 800-number and spend one hour on hold listening to continuous loops of the Blue Danube Waltz and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. A very nice Mr. Roberts finally answers and directs me to a government website from where I can download a "Missing/Stolen" check form. He says fill it out, have mom sign it, mail back, and it will take 6 weeks to replace the check.

By the way, this is a $1200.00 check.

I call mom Wednesday evening and tell her this is the best I can do. I go to bed questioning my memory of handling the check and the bank's integrity. I handle deposits for our business all the time and am very, very precise in my procedures. There is absolutely no way the check went missing between mom's dining room table and the night box. I pray, "Heavenly Father, I know you know where that check is. Help?"

Thursday: I go to work and download the government missing check form. I am disheartened to read, "The law does not allow us to issue a replacement check if you endorsed it and someone other than you cashed the check, since that person didn't forge your signature." Great.

I call Angie at the bank again. Tell me once more your nightbox procedures. She does. Tell me what would likely happen if this endorsed check is floating around somewhere. She says mom's photo ID is required to cash it and if the culprit signed their name under mother's, Home Federal never cashes 2-party checks. Is this standard banking procedure? She says she can't speak for other banks. (and I'm thinking what about grocery stores? instant cash stores? etc etc?) I ask if she still has the envelope and deposit slip. I want to see them. (Though I don't know what good it will do. Perhaps jog my memory?)She says yes and she will give me a photocopy of them too. I explain I intend to pursue a Stop Payment with the Treasury Dept.

I go to the bank after work and officially meet Angie. She disappears to make the photo copy, taking alot longer than necessary for a such a simple task, and returns with a very puzzled look.

Angie: Evidently I am out of the loop. We found the check and it was deposited to your mother's account 10AM yesterday.Me: Where did you find it?Angie: I don't know. June, who opened the nightbox with me, is in a meeting right now. When she gets out I will quiz her and call you. I'm very curious and disturbed about this. Have you requested the Stop Payment yet? If you have, it creates a whole new problem.

Of course I hadn't yet. She gives me a print-out of mom's checking acct activity of the last week so I can see evidence the check was deposited.

June calls me at home an hour later. She is groveling with apologies. "I am so so so sorry. I found the check loose in the nightbox and put it in your mom's acct and failed to tell anybody. (This means the check hit the account before Angie called mom to inform it was missing. Classic case of right hand not knowing what left hand is doing.)

Me: But how do you suppose it got loose?June: Maybe your envelope wasn't sealed?Me: But Angie said you open all envelopes with a letter opener. If it was unsealed, you wouldn't need to use the opener.June: I don't know. It's standard procedure.Me: Well, the check is back where it belongs, which is the whole point. So I'm happy and goodbye.

More apologies all around and we hung up.

Hurrah, but something still stinks in Denmark.

Had it been truly lost, the government never would have replaced it. I was pretty much resigned to kissing $1200.00 goodbye and grateful mom didn't desparately need the money. Still I would love to have been a fly on the wall in the discussion between Angie & June. And I do wonder--is it possible for a bank employee to quietly slip an endorsed check into a till and remove $1200.00 with nobody the wiser?

I still intend to use the lost check form on behalf of mom. She was supposed to receive a $250.00 social security death benefit about 2 months after dad died. It never came and I was too distracted to pursue it. Stay tuned.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Yes--that's his name--our 20-year-old former home teacher. His sports-obsessed father named him after the BB player and 20 years later he's famous again. Our Michael Phelps is cuter than Olympic Michael Phelps and he has a better tan because he lifeguards at Wild Waters.

The Olympics are killing me. I simply cannot go to bed before midnight for 2 weeks every 4 years.

----Aaron & Melanie, thanks for a great visit. I think your apartment is cute and "very adequate" (quoting Grandpa Ison--his all purpose highest compliment) The spaghetti dinner and garlic bread were delicious. I slept like a log on the squishy air mattress. I loved playing with Morgan!!! I can see how much his vocabulary and comprehension are expanding. I can imagine all sorts of fun to be had with him. As for his newly developing temper--tee hee--I'm a grandmother and am happy to enjoy you two puzzling out this stage of life. Thanks for showing me your neighborhood. It made me feel better to get you "fixed" in the world and my mind's eye.

My week was full of fun events:WEDNESDAY: My 55th birthday. I love this age. Life just keeps getting better. We celebrated at Olive Garden.

THURSDAY: The Kiwanis Chuckwagon. Grandpa Ison bought the tickets post-humously. This year construction at the College of Idaho decimated the closest parking lots so the Chuckwagon shuttled people from the back 40 via yellow schoolbuses. Grandma was a good sport about climbing those high bus steps. I wonder if she's ever ridden a schoolbus before.

SATURDAY: Twin Falls Temple open house. Alot more kids from the ward signed up than actually showed up, so we valiant 17 didn't have to share seats. Yellow schoolbus again. If there is a way to actually get comfortable on one of those, I don't know what it is. So we bouncy-bounced to Twin and back with a 99 degree breeze flowing throughout. I did love seeing the temple though. The contrast between the Celestial room and the rooms previous was absolutely stunning. Our tour guide requested silence and even the toddler (who had chirped and jabbered during the entire tour) went perfectly still. The room emanated with a feeling of respect. After lunch, I also enjoyed winding down into the canyon to visit Shoshone Falls.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Got in at 1AM after an 80MPH drive. Angela's twin brother was driving and since I was in the back seat I couldn't see the road and freak. Only one car tried to sideswipe us in SLC. Hey--get in your own lane mister!!! Angela has a GPS system which she named Rowena. Rowena, naughty girl, got us lost at the final 5 minutes. But then she repented and reprogrammed herself from an obscure parking and led us forth. Rowena also counts down your miles for you so you always have the answer to the question, "Are we there yet daddy?"

Aaron is planning to buy his own Rowena before the Missouri trip.

It felt very James Bondish to know a space satellite was tracking us.

----I woke this morning hearing Morgan chirping, "meemee? meemee? meemee?" (mommy)So I walked in his room. Silence. He reminded me of the wide-mouth frog's reply to the alligator. "o"

Thursday, August 7, 2008

All these years I thought the reason for having children was so they could do the dishes. I'll be darned. They're good for setting you up on blogs too. Thanks Arielle.

And thank you Melanie--your're my blogger inspiration. You put a new thought in my brain like hey, Jana, maybe the old dog can learn a new trick.

Hopefully Arielle can teach me how to add pictures too, another trick for the old dog. I can count on both hands the number of snapshots I've ever taken in 55 years. I've got too much of Grandpa Ison's temperment to either pose or shoot patiently.

Well kids, off with the old me. I soon expect to be butting heads with dad for computer usage.