The Life Lessons of Golf: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

As I stared at the golf ball and stood in golf swing stance, I began mentally preparing myself for the probable failure of making contact with the ball. Three better golfers (one is a 10 handicap player – no pressure) stood patiently waiting as I took too long to run through the mantra: relax the arms, relax the shoulders, eyes on the ball, and initiate rotation from the core. And then came the back swing followed by contact with the ground creating a soaring divot the size of a Frisbee.

I look down (which means I had averted my eyes from the ball – dang it!) and the ball is still there. This realization elicits an internal litany of self-flagellation and negative self-talk (more like self-yelling) that I can’t print here. I look at my friends who awkwardly avert their eyes, except for the handicapper who has become my golf sensei, and he gently says: “You need to relax your body and you are thinking too much.” Well, no duh.

“Enough of this” I think to myself – “I quit.”

I mean I’ve had several lessons, a lot of range time practicing, even developed golf elbow (ahem, from hitting the ground too much no doubt). And by the way – what kind of sport allows the consumption of alcohol during play? “To keep primal rage in check” I thought to myself – as I began desperately scanning the golf course for the booze cart.

I’m frustrated becauseI feel like the time put in does not equal where I should be skill-wise. I mean I’ve been practicing inconsistently for at least 2 months. So, what gives?

My expectations need to give apparently.

I was expecting too much too soon and as someone who tends to pick up sports quickly, this was a humble pill to swallow. Learning how to play golf has felt like a mostly ebb experience in the ebb and flow process around practicing a new skill – 2 steps forward and 2 steps back (sometimes 5 steps back).

However, instead of quitting I have decided to take my own advice from what I teach at Green Mountain about the process of change, and work to shift my mental approach.

Cultivating Self-Compassion

So, I first re-evaluated my expectations and proceeded to lower them to zero, and then reframed my negative self-talk from – “I suck at golf” and “I’ll never get this”, etc… to a more encouraging thought “I’m learning more every day.”

The statement “@*# golf” felt comforting as well, but I went with the first one.

Putting My Zen Approach To The Test

I was able to put my new Zen approach to the test recently with the same group of friends I played with for that last round of humiliation. This was the first time we had all played together since that game so instead of reliving the past, I proceeded to lower my expectations and focus on decreasing my negative self-talk.

My goal was to simply enjoy the company I was with and to enjoy the beautiful Vermont weather. Some may call it disassociating from the negative stimulus (golf) but really I was out of my head and enjoying the process of sucking at – oops, cancel that – of learning how to play golf.

Where Successful Weight Management Starts

Founded in 1973, Green Mountain is the country’s first and only residential weight loss program exclusively for women. We’re not your usual weight loss retreat or spa. We’re much more than a weight loss camp. We would never call ourselves a fat farm. You deserve better than that.