Thursday, February 28, 2008

So I had an interview today, wasn't too keen on the firm but what the heck.And I was right, the guy was a big swinging dick, smart I'm sure but a dick nonetheless. I don't know how this happens to people. I know certain things are genetic, like sexual orientation (contrary to Republics quip of it being a "life choice"...right Sen. Larry Craig who even now insists he isnt gay, it was just him "sinning"...ass. Or how about those who are "cured" of homosexuality...it's called "denial" you shmucks and of course the bigger gits are the ones around them who has instilled this sense that heterosexuality is the only natural state. Bring back the Greeks I say...without the underage sex though this begs the argument of what is considered morally acceptable and honestly, there's no one I have met who hasn't looked at me as though I was a nut job when I spoke about the topic. I digress)But how does this guy grow up to be a dick? Betchya his head gets bigger when he pops in a blue pill

Anyway. Also, I love Bose. So I got the gorgeous headphones but now, thanks to frequent use, they have developed that horrible problem those stolen British Airways headphones they used to sell in Nehru Place for Rs. 200 had -- the sound goes off and comes back when you jiggle the wire. My grand dad has a drawerful of headphones witht he wires running into the headset, all scotchtaped up. I kid you not. It looks like an amateur dried to put them through the mummification process. I remember once, we got him a new pair just to find them taped up three days later. Further investigation revealed he had taped them up in *anticipation*. Preemptive strike what?!

Anyway, these earphones have the same problem now. However* Bose has a support number clearly listed on the site. You don't have to go through a myriad of links to find it (hear that Cingular you bastards!! And doubletime for you Time Warner you sodden c****)* The phone menu options are at most three as opposed to me having to sit with a post-it to write down the options as I go along to avoid it should i get cut (hear me Cingular you assholes!)* The guy is polite (TimeWarner, wtf??)* The guy *asks* for a number *he* can call *me* back on!! Holy crap, gimme some stock, I love this company I really do!* It took 4 minutes to set up an exchange. I could weep* I told him I may be leaving the country soon -- turn around time, two weeks and shipping any where in the world. On them. For the trouble they caused me.

When you buy a product, say like a computer or Windows, the relationship ends as you walk out the door. With Bose and Apple, it begins with buying their product.

I can’t remember which movie that’s from, I know it’s from when I was a kid, sprawled out on the brown wall-to-wall carpeting (made by Mr. Walter Wall ladies & gentleman! – kudos and brownie points if you know which book that’s from. Also the promise of a dessert from The Big Chill) of the living room in Saudi Arabia.

Anyway, I digress. I came to a realization. Okay, I read this some where and thought it made sense so im copying, plagiarizing if you will. But, and this time, say it with me, I will quote the truth wherever I find it, even if it’s Snoopy the Dog(another shot at kudos/brownie points worth 1/10,000th of a cent/dessert from the Big Chill if you know where from or who I am paraphrasing in saying that)

The two active ingredients for procrastination (for me?) are fear and doubt. Which is why whenever I have procrastinated, it’s always been over something that scares me. Maybe this is a universal truth that everyone knows, maybe it’s something now all of two people know, I don’t care or know. But I never understood my procrastination nor the pattern behind it until now.

So. To give up the fear means to jump into it whole heartedly, both feet going kerplunk. Of course fear is sometimes a good thing, it’s the voice of self preservation. But like all good advice, heed it, value it, then make your own decision weighed on the prospects of loss, learning and the potential light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, no plan is written in stone. It’s only when it is fluid can it adapt, can it not disappoint and all in all, lead to a better process.

Fank you

Now for some link love to Stefan Bucher whose video clips on daily monsters is brilliant. Go check site, I have already preordered book (well, it’s in my shopping cart).

Monday, February 25, 2008

Right so I’m going to try and approximate the verbiage I seem to spew when trying to wrestle with organizing a burst of tangential thoughts:Okay-‘kay-‘kay-‘kay

It’s been ups n downs including one meltdown listed here. But since then, I have moved on from the position for India (via London for 6mos) with a PE firm. The MD who interviewed me wrote back a whole week after I thanked him for his time. Also, given one of the guys I met in the lobby is a lot older than I, has an MBA and works with KKR, yeah I probably wont get the job. Oh well. Things don’t work out how you always want or so sayeth my personal Yoda the ear hair notwithstanding

I have had one interview with another firm in London but they do stuff I don’t and there’s only so far I can wing it. But I let it go

I had one with a Singapore hedgie where an Indian woman interviewed me, everything seemed to go swimmingly until (being familiar with the City I grew up in) asked me when I graduated (2000) and then asked how old I was (you aren’t supposed to legally do that you know) but she did ask and when I told her, she went, “Oh”Not an oh! or even an ohhhhhhhh! or a simple okayThe oh was more the you’re only twentyfiveohmygosh. Yeah, I’m 25 and still answered everything you asked.

I’m sorry but if being young works against me, I cant help it.

Now, I did reach out to another hedgie in NY and the lady described my resume as incredibly interesting (okay! Gimme job then!)I spoke to the NY guy who said even though they are on a hiring freeze, if they like me, they will take me. So I am meeting the head of research on Friday.

I am also meeting another NY hedgie on Thursday.

I am also meeting a recruiter who knows 4-5 NY places which would be a fit and that’s tomorrow. Boy, did I pick to wrong time for a flu/cold relapseSniffle

Now I do have a back up that is a gamble. End of March I move to India and work for a microcredit place for 6-8 months while prepping for the GMAT and working on MBA apps. I then get in (to the MBA school…okay, one of the 5 I like) and then travel. I want to do the 700km trek from France to Spain i.e. the Camino de Santiago. I also want to work in either the wildlife hospital in Greece, the conservatory in Ecuador or the refuge in Bolivia (I love animals, heck I own every Gerald Durrell written and have read each one to know the opening chapter and what follows)

Of course, the gamble is that I do get into the program of my choice else I am stuck

Now, the options in orderThe PE firm that sends me to London and then India (they don’t let you start until July which means I can still travel myself)One of the hedgies in NY for a year, take time off to travel to India, then work with them for a year and apply to B schoolDo the microfinance thing and travel

So, if anyone has any leads on microfinance, you got a volunteer here, twenty five and ready to get his hands dirty!

Friday, February 22, 2008

there was this tight ball wound up inside methats what tightened when i got madand some how, you made it disappeari dont think i can lose my temper in the same stubborn, irrational way any moreyou kinda broke something and fixed something bigger

I’ve been thinking and the more I think about it the more it appeals to me. www.solbeam.com gave me the idea. What if I took 4-6 months and just travelled, lived on a shoe string budget, took pictures and then gave my GMAT etc etc?I have the money, I don’t have a family of my own, yeah, the visa but I don’t know, it’s something that well, there’s something so delicious about it

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I’m struggling to find meaning.If I thought I was in limbo 3 months ago, I feel it now more than ever. Every step is unsure because there’s no way of knowing if it’s the right move or not.

I’m trying desperately to bend my life to go the way I want it to and some how keep getting forced to surrender. And I’m a bit tired of compromising on what I want and what makes me happy. How long can I keep pressing this way?I’m trying to get to a life that sitting else where, then what can I call what I already have.

Yes, I try and surrender and try and have faith. But it’s hard to do when every bit of me is screaming for opportunities. After all, I know I can work my butt off.What’s a guy who is willing to work 14 hours a day to get good at a job have to do before he gives up and wonders what the hell everyone is really after.

Don’t tell me I need experience, how do I get experience when you aren’t willing to give it to me.

This is frustrating.I had one melt down yesterday and am trying my best to keep a tenacious grip and forge on. But in the end it wears me down.It’s the same thing day after day after day.

All I’m trying to do is get closer home. Why is this so hard?Where is the meaning to all of this? What do I have to do get the opportunity I want? Where are all the answers?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

So I had the pleasure of watching what is one of my favorite movies now -- Paris, Je T'aime

I think it's brilliant and the wiki entry does a good job explaining it. So if anyone has seen it, my favorites:

-- the hair salon segment with the bald (!!) sales rep trying to sell product. The thing is, the entire short treats the line, "I love you" like a punch line to a commercial. Someone sat down, through their stone realized that it's become a punch line to sell everything from car insurance to perfume endorsed by the now skanked out Britney my-nipples-point-in-different-directions Spears. So, why not create a commercial selling anything but to fit in with the meme of the movie, have the punch line reverberate around Paris?

He gets there, gives the ladies at the salon a makeover, there's a picture shoot and each frame is a commercial almost for something. In the end, he leaves the head honcho n a flowing black dress, as he walks off into the subway, the evening sun bouncing off his receding bald pate.

The phrase then repeats all over Paris. It's just a punch line, to a product, nothing else.

-- the short where the old man is convincing the younger woman to "leave Gaspard"

"But he won't like it!"

"It's your life, you have to live it...besides, I'll take care of him"

In a continuous frame, we go from an older man planning to have his young mistress leave Gaspard to be with him to it being an old man, advising his daughter to step away from her baby so she can meet friends and have a break from him while the old man, the grandfather takes care of him. It's still love. But just another version.

It's interesting that it's no longer the pundits spin of gender vs. race. Hilary is NOT a black woman. Woman yes, black no. And why does gender not win out: "I look at her and don't see my mothers strength in her", quips one black woman. So there goes the argument of black women being in a quandary

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The candidates don't even listen to the words of the songs they pick for their campaigns (wait! they have campaign songs now? Yeah, no one told me either)

In '84m Regan wanted to use Born in the USA (and Bruce Springsteen said no but that's another story). The first line of the song is "I woke up in the evening"! That it self reflects poorly and should give you some clue what the song is about -- a cynical Vietnam war vet

Romney used "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis. The next line is "and a little more action". So, if I read this right, the theme of the party is, "get laid!"?

Hilary is using KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See" and Barak had will.i.am write him a song which I think is a much better idea

G1: No, actually, I think 'gate comes from Watergate. So you know, it's Camillagate. Like Watergate

G2: Don't be ridiculous, it's not a system where you take the last four letters of the last scandal and apply it to the next one!

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Right so I was watching this program and later they revealed that a woman on it was a porn-star under the moniker Ashlynn Brooke. Now she didn't look like one (not that I am commenting on *how* they are supposed to look) but I wikied her. And in all fairness, to avoid controversy, yes, I did check out the 'images' section on Google. Anyway, I still maintain, that like reading Playboy for the articles, I wikied her. They also had her myspace page.

Now, I have always been fascinated by the divide between facebook and myspace and there is no denying it really does exist.

So, I checked hers out to see who comments on her page. I mean, who would right, add a porn star to be cool or whatever.

You have guy's leaving her rose gif's to thank her for adding them, you have this chap wishing her for valentines day. I mean what do you do, troll myspace friends and leave them scraps? No, I'm sorry, I know I am being judgemental but dude!

Anyway, the point isn't to spit vitriol but I've been fascinated by the divide between facebook and myspace. And it undeniably exists right? So my point is I've moved from one limited circle to another. Delhi has it's own (albeit more democratic than Bombay in the sense more variegated economically than Bombay but still limited). And I realized even Boston comprised rich kids, my school comprised smarter kids than the average demographic of the state, my roommate agreeable from the backwaters was a philosophy major, applying to law school. So not representative.

My point is there is another demographic that I will never be familiar with. Boston, NY, none of them are representative. And such a pity.