Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Recent Thoughts

So here are some drawerings, from recent extra classes. This model was friggin AMAZING. Totally hilarious. The first thing he does when he arrives is go up to the black board and where it says "our model today is:" he writes "some guy"All kinds of props. Also gave me free food. Win :DIn Lieu of my new residence, I found his pose very patrioticSame model as the first week again tonight. Not as good this time, must've been tired. Can't blame her.The more I look at this one, the more I like itI've just been doing some thinking today. I thought I'd write about it a bit.First of all, its reaaally nice to look down at my work and not want to rip my guts out in sheer agony. I finally feel like I understand what the hell I'm doing. I'm not the worst at this, and I'm no longer embarrassed to try and be an animation student. Hell, sometimes I want to KEEP looking at my work for a moment after the model changes pose. It feels good, I guess, to have some confidence in myself.And that goes for other aspects of my life too. It was only recently people started regularly pointing out how nice I look sometimes, or how much they enjoy my company, and damn, I mean, its just so great. :) I didn't know you could ever feel this good about yourself. And even though sometimes I still get down, it's not as hard to get back up again and tear myself out of the cycle. I feel like this really fuels my work as well. When I get depressed, I become completely non-functional, and I've spent a lot of the past 4 years that way. So now I can finally sit down and BE productive, I can do the work I've been wanting to for ages.

On another note, I find myself stuck in a bit of a predicament.Even though I feel as if my work is really coming along (going to figure drawing 12 hours a week really helps...I already have as much work from the past month as I did collectively over the fall/winter of last year!) I still look at accepted Calarts portfolios and feel as if there is no way I can do that. It's all so out there, so experimental. I sit down, and I just want to draw the energy, the structure, the movement of the pose. Thinking about medium and style and how I can make it "special" is just so hard. I tried doing that last year, it failed me! I like this a lot better. And after all, thats what they want in the animation industry anyways. Why should I try to go out on weird-ass limbs, when I feel like I learn a hell of a lot more sticking to what I know? So I'm not sure what to do, what direction to go in. I can't wait for NPD, so I can hopefully sit down with a rep and talk to them about it. Hopefully they'll tell me something different this year, something useful. Not just "This is a good start. You're headed in the right direction." Oh yea, real helpful.Speaking of portfolio work, Sheridan's portfolio is so comprehensive. I forgot about the whole thing. There's so much to work on. I can't believe I crammed it all into what? A week or two last year? There are so many things I don't know how to do!I also need to start thinking about personal artwork. I forgot about doing that kind of stuff completely until today. I guess I find classwork satisfying enough as it is. Forget my own self expression! So I need to start doing that, this blog is nothing but classwork right now, which is so boring! IB art feels like a hundred million years ago...Actually, everything from a year ago feels like a hundred million years ago. The first time I stepped into a figure drawing class feels like the beginning of TIME itself! All the drawing sessions I held in my own backyard, trips to the zoo, even the studio 132 nights feel like ancient history. Getting into art school has been such a PROCESS. And I'm not even in yet. I am dying for the day where I don't have to stress about it. One day, when my concern will be finding a job. That'll be fun. At least I won't be paying for that.I'm glad it's all working out for me, finally. I was so anxious about this year, and it's not so bad. I mean, I'm not in my dream school YET, but even if I don't get in, I feel so satisfied doing just any kind of art right now, it doesn't matter. It'll work out, somehow. Truth be told, I'd just love to be part of some television/movie production process. Shit, it doesn't even have to be animation, I just love it all so much. But really, all of this, this is so much better than the way it was. There's only one point of unfinished business left, a piece of history that's been dangling over my head, plaguing my thoughts for years. Once I get that out of the way, I think things will suddenly become a lot better.

Anyway, here's a list, because I love making them, of things to work on:-Faces-Caricatures-Character design-Hands-Filling up sketchbook-Gestures-"Finished" pieces-Storyboards or comics or something-Original artwork pieces and such