Unbutton your pants and dive right in.

Rants

This morning, I was walking into my office building. There are 2 sets of doors to walk through before you hit the lobby. You know. Like… most… lobbies. (Strong opener, Jess.)

I open the outer door fully. 100 goddamn percent. It’s as open as (pop culture reference involving a vagina, probably).

An older dude is walking toward me, through the inner doors, and holding a giant fuckin’ camera.

I do the normal human thing, and hold the outer door. The one I’m not even done walking through, thus making the door-holding situation almost zero percent inconvenient for me. It would have taken him 2 seconds to walk through, and I would have lost… mmmmaybe 1 second of my life.