William Kerns' Movie Marquee

Opening Today

Left to right: Alex the Lion (Ben Stiller) and Marty the Zebra's (Chris Rock) getaway vehicle is pursued by animal control in DreamWorks Animation's MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE'S MOST WANTED, to be released by Paramount Pictures. MAD3-025

Eric Darnell, who directed the first two “Madagascar” comedies, is back making decisions. Alex the lion (played by Ben Stiller); Marty the Zebra (Chris Rock); Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer); Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith); King Julien the Lemur (Sacha Baron Cohen); his assistant Maurice (Cedric the Entertainer); penguin commandoes Skipper, and the penguin commandoes (led by the Skipper) all want to return home to their beloved New York City. But they are being pursued in Europe by Capt. Chantel DuBois (Frances McDormand). So they try to hide within a traveling circus, reinvented Madagascar style.

Rated PG for some mild action and rude humor — Tinseltown 17, Movies 16 and the Stars and Stripes Drive-In.

Prometheus (in 3-D, 2-D and Movies 16’s XD)

“Alien” director Ridley Scott returns to a genre he helped define. With “Prometheus,” he creates a ground-breaking mythology in which a team of explorers discovers a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth. It leads them on a thrilling journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race. Scott directs, and an impressive cast includes Noomu Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idis Elba, Sean Harris, Guy Pearce and Patrick Wilson.

Rated R for sci-fi violence including some intense images, and brief language — Tinseltown 17, Movies 16 and the Stars and Stripes Drive-In.

Continuing this week

(Marvel’s) The Avengers (in 3-D and 2-D)

Kerns Rating: Four stars.

Under Joss Wheedon’s direction, “The Avengers” winds up a super-cool summer movie, and not just because all those Marvel movie teasers from prior years pay off. What sets this picture apart from so many of its visual effects-driven predecessors is that these particular super heroes desire not only purpose, but deep-seeded friendships that range beyond family hopes or governmental orders. We’re even introduced to Agent Phil Coulson as a fan-boy collecting super-hero trading cards and, in some ways, he turns out to be super, too. Be assured that Wheedon has spared no expense in battles between the Avengers and forces commanded by Thor’s brother, Loki. Yet performances by Chris Evans (Captain America), Mark Ruffalo (Hulk), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Chis Hemsworth (Thor) and especially Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) — oh, and let’s not forget Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury and, Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson — all are believably funny, deadly and caring, and help make “The Avengers” better than even fans expected.

Director Peter Berg manages to create a visual effect that will remind some of the old Hasbro “Battleship” board game, and just about as believable is a cheese-filled, flag-waving final chapter in which our Greatest Generation finds enough power in their old battleship to help them save the world. Star Taylor Kitsch was much more believable on Mars as “John Carter” than he is as a good-natured barfly who, upon being ordered by his brother to join the Navy, winds up earning rank on his brother’s destroyer in no time. Oh, and he’s also now engaged to the scary admiral’s beautiful blonde daughter (Brooklyn Decker). But first there’s the problem of commanding the only modern Naval vessel located inside an alien force field. Military exercises allow him to call on the Japanese for help; being in Hawaii comes across as a cruel inside joke. Nothing makes sense if you look or listen too closely, so just embrace the expensive visual and sound effects, and root for global victory over the nasty aliens’ superior technology. Liam Neeson phones in his performance as the admiral.

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language — Tinseltown 17 and Movies 16.

Bernie

Kerns rating: Four and one-half stars

Certainly one of the year’s more quirky films. Jack Black, as Bernie, quickly befriends the entire town of Carthage in East Texas when he arrives and is hired as an assistant funeral home director. He also manages to befriend curmudgeonly, if very rich Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine), who may be the meanest woman anyone has met. Driven almost out of his mind by her orders, jealousy, bigotry and negativity, Bernie, acting on instinct, shoots and kills her. He most likely could get away with the crime; instead, he freezes her body so it still might be given a first class funeral, and gives away her money to needy people and organizations. By the time Bernie is captured and jailed, no one in Carthage views him as guilty. Meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey, as the town’s district attorney, cannot believe his ears. (“He only shot her four times.”) The case turned into a Texas Monthly story, which is what inspired Texas filmmaker Richard Linklater to bring it to the screen. Black may be out of his comfort element, but his wonderful creation of Bernie is a complete original; kudos, too, for Black’s singing voice. But what truly propels the film to a higher comic level are the documentary-like comments Linklater edits from interviews with Carthage residents. Murder never has been this funny, praise the Lord.

Directed by John Madden, the film follows a group of British retirees who decide to “outsource” their retirement to less expensive and seemingly exotic India. Enticed by advertisements for the newly restored Marigold Hotel and bolstered with visions of a life of leisure, they arrive to find the palace a shell of its former self. Though their new home is less luxurious than imagined, they are forever transformed by shared experiences, discovering that life and love can begin again when you let go of the past. Stars Tom Wilkinson, Judi Dench, Dev Patel, Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy.

Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language — Movies 16.

Chernobyl Diaries

An original horror tale by Oren Peli, who wrote and directed “Paranormal Activity.” The new film, directed by Brad Parker, follows a group of six young tourists who, wanting to go off the beaten path, hire an “extreme” tour guide. Ignoring warnings, he takes them into the city of Pripyat, former home to those working on the Chernobyl nuclear reactor and deserted since the 1986 disaster. After a brief exploration of the abandoned city, the group soon finds itself stranded ... and the tourists discover they are not alone.

Director Tim Burton takes an American soap opera and rewrites it as comedy by way of a witch who transforms Johnny Depp’s playboy into a vampire, and then has him buried alive. Two centuries later, workers find Depp’s coffin, free him and are killed for their trouble. (After 200 years, says Depp, he had built up quite a thirst for blood). But any film in which Helena Bonham Carter has no impressive scenes is poorly written, and while bringing Alice Cooper on board must have seemed semi-inspired, Burton finds nothing to do with him. Even Depp’s goofy sex scene is boring and seems out of place.

The film tells the story of a dictator, played by Sacha Baron Cohen, who risks his life to ensure that democracy never comes to the country he so lovingly oppressed. Larry Charles directs. Ben Kingsley, Anna Faris, John C. Reilly and Megan Fox co-star.

Certainly never boring. The film explores a period in the mid-to-late 1920s when Mexican Roman Catholics rebelled against religious persecution at home. Andy Garcia stands out as a general inspired most by the chances taken by a young boy whose faith gives him the courage to be martyred for God. Many of these torture scenes are difficult to watch. Production values are very high and, while Peter O’Toole is on screen only for a brief time, he, too, ably makes a memorable impression. Many may depart intent on finding out more about the Cristerio War.

Rated R for war violence and some disturbing images — Tinseltown 17 and Movies 16.

Men in Black 3 (in 3-D and 2-D)

Kerns rating: Four stars

The second sequel to director Barry Sonnenfeld’s sci-fi comedy about an organization formed to keep tabs on all alien activity that affects Earth is far better than its predecessor. It boasts a warm and often very funny story, with a twist no one should see coming in the midst of all the fast-paced action required to save the world. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith are back as Agents K and J, respectively. But when Agent K disappears, it’s up to his best friend, Smith’s Agent J, to time-jump (literally) back to 1969 and find K before he makes a huge mistake. Adding to the laughs is Josh Brolin, who plays the younger Agent K to cowboy music-loving perfection.

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and brief sensuality — Tinseltown 17, Movies 16 and the Stars and Stripes Drive-In.

What To Expect When Expecting

TV fitness guru Jules (Cameron Diaz) and dance show star Evan (Matthew Morrison) find that their celebrity lives do not stand a chance against the surprising demands of pregnancy. Baby-crazy author/advocate Wendy (Elizabeth Banks) gets a taste of her own militant mommy advice when pregnancy hormones ravage her body. Her husband, Gary (Ben Falcone), struggles not to be outdone by his competitive alpha-Dad (Dennis Quaid), who is expecting twins with his much younger trophy wife, Skyler (Brooklyn Decker). Photographer Holly (Jennifer Lopez) is ready to travel the globe to adopt a child, but her husband Alex (Rodrigo Santoro) is not so sure, and tries to quiet his panic by attending a male support group, where new fathers tell it like it really is. And rival food truck chefs Rosie (Anna Kendrick) and Marco (Chace Crawford) hook-up by surprise, which results in an unexpected quandary: what to do when your first child comes before your first date?