by Simon Mills
I am not a Smiths fan - listening to their new single 'Heaven Knows I'm
Miserable Now' for me is like receiving a Buzzcock in a discreet brown paper
parcel from a Manchester mail order company and discovering that the
batteries are not included.
I was expecting their guitarist Johnny Marr - Beatle-cut now trimmed to a
Sixties bouffant a la Small Faces - to make dull retrospective references to
The Lovin' Spoonful and ramble on about how listening to Jim Morrison had
changed his life. Instead he shared my hatred of today's faceless,
synthetic popsters and convinced me that his group were intent on
injecting something realistic and worthwhile into the top forty.

So what about the Thompson Twins, Johnny?
The Thompson Twins, Howard Jones, Nik
Kershaw, are the epitome of what is wrong
with either the music industry or the record
buying public - everybody has got so used to
safe, tidy music and unimaginative lyrics.
When 'This Charming Man' was unleashed on
the public it did sound really fresh and
exciting. There are still a few artists who retain
some musical integrity - Julian Cope and
Echo and the Bunnymen for instance.

How did you develop that choppy but melodic
guitar sound?
I used to listen to a lot of old Tamla Motown
records with distinctive brass and piano parts
and I try to adapt those to my guitar playing.
The riff on 'Girl Afraid' for instance is one I
always imagined as a heavy piano part.

Would you ever consider using the arsenal of
electronics currently available to musicians in
the making of a Smiths record?
No, we would never use a Linn-Drum or a
drum machine. The only use a synthesiser
would be to us would be for string parts and
we'd rather use real strings - any other
sound I try to achieve with the guitar. Having
said that, I've just finished working on the
guitar part for the new Quando Quango record
which is totally electrofunk. Although their
sound is totally alien to me I enjoyed the
challenge.

Have you made much money from pop music?
Not as much as I'd like to - as soon as I get it
I spend it - clothing is my second love next
to music, I've also bought a beautiful white
1964 Rover 2.6 litre so I've been bombing up
and down from Manchester to London.

How do you react to accusations of arrogance
and conceit thrown at the Smiths?
It always surprises me. When we first started
the group we were all sick of the way many
groups would adopt a cool persona for
interviews. Our interviews were always so
embarrassingly honest and unpremeditated.

You've inspired legions of beaded youths in
expensive shirts, black Levi's and suede
chukka boots - fans are obviously an integral
part of the Smiths organisation.
It's a good thing that in certain circles they
can wear brooches and flowers and can be accepted as
the normally dressed man without being attached to a
gimmicky gender bending thing - ours is a more
realistic style.

Why did you have your hair cut?
Everytime I try to grow my hair form I become riddled
with spots!

I've noticed that Sade has criticised the Smiths in
a couple of recent interviews.
I don't really think too much about her, I think
she'll come and go. I'd rather stick on a Billie
Holliday record and hear the job done properly.

Did Morrissey tell Sandie Shaw to roll around on the
floor when you performed 'Hand In Glove' on Top Of
The Pops?
No, she was doing it with reference to Morrissey - the
most obvious thing she could have done was to go on
swinging flowers around her head or wearing national
health glasses, but what she did was much more subtle
than that.

How many of the Smiths are gay?
None of us are actually gay - Morrissey
doesn't participate in sex at the moment and hasn't
done so for a while, he's had a lot of girlfriends
in the past and quite a few men friends. The rest
of the band, however, are all sex maniacs.

What's the worst thing that's happened to you since
you formed the Smiths?
Definitely the horrendous Old Grey Whistle Test
concert which I'm really ashamed of. The only
consolation was imagining thousands of straight-laced
families sitting down to their tea watching
Morrissey singing 'Let me get my hands on your
mammary glands!'

Taken from UK Pop Magazine 'Record Mirror', June 9th 1984, page 14.
Cover star for this issue was Green from Scritti Politti!
Donated by Peter Aston.