Borat demands Cheney baby full paternity rights

"one tiny suck on a harlot's putrid lactation" is all it takes apparently

Washington DC - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): In an abrupt volte face Kazhakstani actor Mr Borat has sent in lawyers to demand full parenting and paternity rights for what he claims is his unborn son by Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter Mary.

An attorney's statement issued today says Mr B recently underwent a massive religious conversion thanks to a prayer session organised by the Reverend Pat Robertson who told him that The Lord wants him to fight the Godly Fight.

That means rescuing the child from its heathen lesbian mother's loins "before it is too late and it takes just one tiny suck on the harlot's putrid lactation", effectively turning homosexual even before its milk teeth emerge.

"The Lord told me that's how these bum-bandits come into being", commented the Pastor.

"It's not some poor sperm quality that produces these idolatrous homosexuals. It's the lesbian agenda that effectively castrates the babes in the womb and indoctrinates them for life with just one suck on the bulldyke breast."

Mr Borat may now have a battle on his hands as Mary Cheney is famously bullish about keeping her baby's paternity ID secret. As for asking her for a womb swab to back up a DNA legal argument, some legal experts have said forget it. "The lady sleeps with her Dad's quail-shooting 12-bore by her pillow", said a source. "It'll take more than a Special Prosecutor to ruffle her hatchling's paternity."

Mr Borat is 29.

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