– Thursday May 22 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Webmaster Drug Stories Part #1 (12:00AM EST) Wolfy

What’s up y’all, Wolfy from beerandshots.com here. I figure since this seems to be turning into a free-for-all, I might as well get in!

Jack said something a few days ago about smoking crack, and how all webmasters should just admit that they smoke the shit every now and then… I agree! And to prove my sincerity, I’ll let you read about my most recent excursion into the depths of depravity.

It was about 9 pm, and I was a little tossed from drinking close to a 12 pack. I’m always a bit more likely to cave in to my dark desires when I’m a bit tore up, and it’s too early to go to bed. Luckily Unfortunately for me, there’s a crack motel right up the road – I can ride my mountain bike to it (and not worry about getting pulled over in my new car) and pick up some yellow. It’s pretty simple, all you do is ride around and look for the nastiest ho you’ve ever laid eyes on – she can hook you up, for sure! As you can guess, the tweaked out little snatch was peaking out of her curtains – her eyes saw a new face, her unstable brain saw a way to get a hit or two. Sure enough, out she comes, rubber-necking for signs of the police. When she didn’t see any she strode up to me and starts making small talk.

Now, I was fucked up, but I was nowhere near fucked up enough to not realize this crackho was straight nasty. I mean sagging tits, a flat ass, 2 teeth, bug eyes – the works. Finally she asks me if I want a blowjob. Not any blowjob, but “…the best blowjob in the south, baby…” I didn’t actually fall on the ground laughing, but I came close. Finally I told her “No, I just wanna have some fun another way”. She sad she could hook me up, and we went to her room.

Click here for Club Girls Gone Wild!! (That link’s for you Wolfy)

Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, I was in the dirty tramp’s room waiting for the crackman to show up. He shows up, tries to pass a $10 rock as a $40, I tell him “Fuck you”, he adds a little bit, I tell him “Fuck you” again, etc etc.. Finally it’s right and he gets lost. I had told the wench I’d hook her up for hooking me up, so I stayed. Plus I don’t indulge often enough to keep my own pipe, and I wanted to use hers rather than smoke out of a can.

A couple of hits into it, my head starts buzzing. Really fucking buzzing – I close my eyes, breathe, run my fingers through my hair… You know, all the shit you do when you get a high like that. Suddenly I feel a tugging on my pants, and I think about the bitch going for my loot – but I never bring extra cash on a dope run, it’s just stupid. The fact is, she was pulling my pants down! She mumbles something about sucking my cock for $10, I didn’t care. “Do it, bitch”. So she starts slobbing on my one eyed wonder, and I feel the scrape of those two lonely teeth. Holy shit! What the fuck am I DOING??!! Can anyone imagine what two teeth could do to my cock if she happened to go into a spasm??? It would be like a damn snake bite, and lord knows I could never be fucked up enough to sit still for that! Needless to say, the bitch ruined my high – I pulled up my pants, grabbed my bike and left the whore on her knees screaming “You were supposed to leave me some you fucker!!”

So which webmaster goes next?

I’d like to thank Wolfy again for posting such a classy story. Check out his site if you’re into naked girls and stuff. And if you don’t like it, you’re probably a homo.