Handling my obsession with perfection

As someone who has gone through the struggles of her 20's herself, I absolutely can no stand when I see women, feel less than what they truly are. It has taken me so, so long to accept myself and day after day I have to be reminded that life is an adventure. I get it, it's hard. But I'll be the first person to tell you, you can achieve happiness and love. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't let someone else's opinion of you weigh more than your own.

We live in a society which constantly tells us we are not good enough, but guess what? You are!

I never understood the fascination with wanting to be part of the system, or cookie cutter person. I was always different, unique or labeled eccentric. It started back when I was a kid, always drawing on my clothes, go to far off places in my imagination, my nose stuck in a book. While I thought these were all normal things others had different views about how I should live my life. .

Eventually I decided to block out the negative and reflect the positive.

A few years ago I went through one of my biggest transitions in life. I was in my last year of my twenties. It was a bitter sweet feeling, I didn't know wether to be sad, hopeful or both. I had finally made it to a point in my life where I was happy all around. I loved my simple art store job, living in the city and dreaming of places I wanted to visit. Yes I did have a beautiful independent life I was dealing with one major flaw, my obsession with perfection.

Perfection is the hardest habit to break...

For many of us we struggle with the need to feel super human, powerful, and for lack of a better word...perfect. We strive for the perfect bodies, perfect jobs, perfect household and the perfect attitude. This is how major companies get us, they feed off of that need. When true perfection comes from within. I was one of those people, I needed to find my happiness. To love myself for who I was and who I wanted to become.

We don't need to be a certain way to be who others want us to be.

I on my to a friends house when I heard Pink's song, F**kin' Perfect. I remember listening to the song and feeling the surge of emotions rush over me. How was this song doing this to me? As soon as I got home I had to watch the video. As I sat crying at my desk I knew what I had to do, I had to break my obsession with wanting to be perfect, because I already was.

Don't change for anyone but yourself

The other day I was working with someone and some issues in their new relationship. The issue they were having was the fact that she had to make changes to make the guy happy. Not necessarily physically, but mentally. They were required to keep things secret from others, keep a schedule on when and where they can and can not meet and even talk to each other.

I felt so bad for this girl as she clearly was going through this situation blind. She was doing what most of us would do, tip toe around the obvious. I wanted to shout and scream how amazing she was, how unbelievably kind and beautiful. But I knew that she needed to find that herself. No one wants to get hurt, especially by those we care about. But why do try and change to make them happy. Love and happiness should not be conditional.

We justify peoples actions to reassure ourselves.

It's ok, we've all done it. Trust me after one of my failed relationships I cried through the entire book, He's just not that into you. I felt as if everyone was talking to me. I learned that if someone really wants to be in your life, they will step up to that plate (this goes for both relationships and friendships). We often settle because we are lonely or not happy with ourselves. But happiness is within us, and once we find it we rise out of our own ashes and bust forth as a phoenix.

What to do when you feel less than perfect

Even with our greatest intentions we still can get bogged down with daily life. When we have to play the super human, multitasker, and ignore our own needs. So what do we do when the world (and ourselves) wants us to be perfect but we feel anything but:

stop listening to others opinions before your own

write down all the ways you love yourself

Pause, rest and regain

breath

read your favorite book

take a bubble bath

start a gratitude journal

talk to your friends

go on a self date

create a vision board

treat yourself to ice cream

make a positive and empowerment playlist

give yourself credit

speak your truth even if it hurts

don't change to make someone else happy

trust in positive change directed towards your better being

help another brighten their day

write down all your imperfections and rewrite them as all the things you love about yourself