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While the signing of only two Polynesians signals Oregon’s likely refusal to listen to my calls to put a satellite campus on American Samoa, February has still brought good news out of Eugene.

The odds of me showing up at Autzen wearing a kilt with a body dyed with woadwent up exponentially when on signing day the Mighty Oregon Ducks displayed their commitment to autonomy and self-determination by landing a two star cornerback by the name of William Wallace.

This commitment to the Live Free or Die ethos was made all the more blatant with the hiring of former University of New Hampshire offensive coordinator, Chip Kelly.

Mr. Carroll, consider yourself and all other liberty hating flatlanders (read: dctrojan and cohorts of troy) on notice.