Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Elektra

***DISCLAIMER***
The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I
encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion
(or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews
are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just
sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is
not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the
reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being
unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay.
4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews
feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on
Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional
live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! The movie that made Daredevil not look so bad.

Elektra – 1 out of 5

Elektra was a movie that I, for one reason or another,
always thought I had seen when it came out after the flop that was Daredevil
back in 2005.Well, turns out I was
wrong because I recently re-watched it for my new segment over at The Robot’s Pajamas (check out the site, it’s awesome!) called Was it THAT Bad?The long and short of it is I take a film
that is widely considered bad by both audiences and critics and I take another
look at it to see if it really was a horrible as we all remember it to be.After taking the time to sit with this one, I
realized that I had never actually watched it before…and that it was, in fact,
a really, really bad movie.

Not tying your hair back on a windy mission seems like a bad idea whenyou're a ninja assassin.

After defeating the enemy called “dying in the other movie,”
master assassin Elektra (Jennifer Garner) is given a mission to kill a man
named Mark Miller (Goran Visnjic) and his young daughter Abby (Kristen
Prout).However, her conscience takes
over and she decides to not go through with it and, instead, decides to protect
them as mysterious and powerful forces are on their way to eliminate them all.

"Today's order of business: Kill those two Elektra won't kill and also to makeall your souls mine."

The thing that really did it in for me with Elektra is the
fact the movie is just bloody boring—so boring, in fact, it turned me British
for a moment when I typed that sentence.The movie itself doesn’t look too bad—granted, sometimes the lighting
looks horrendous but it’s never too bad (in fact, sometimes the colors are very
vibrant and rich) and the performances are fairly decent.Heck, Garner is giving her all to the role
despite the fact that she is on record saying she hates the film and did it
only because of contractual obligations.Ultimately, however, her performance can’t save the film.

Stick, Elektra's sensei, is sad because no one will kneel before him.

Like a well trained ninja, he's hiding by the coloredChristmas lights.

For a comic book adaptation, there’s very little action
going on in this film—and this is a movie where the main character is a martial
arts master.Combine this with the fact
this film has some very strange music cues—like cues that would make you think
that this was a satire of a comic book adaptation—and the fact that this movie
really, REALLY loves montages and completely forgoing any form of development
that would actually make the story and plot somewhat interesting and you have
something that feels really tedious and is extra hard to sit through.

Looks like this guy needs some beef jerky. He's hangry!(The best part about this lame joke is it never would have made sensewhen the film came out!)

The saddest part about how utterly boring Elektra is would
be that this is one of those poor movies that is just plain bad and not fun to
watch it in a way where it is good for a laugh—like Catwoman, Batman &
Robin or literally anything from Marvel before Blade came out (I don’t wanna
pick on just DC).The whole film just
feels like it is lethargically going through the motions and, even worse,
feeling like it doesn’t really need to go into depth with anything you are
seeing.In the end, this film is just a
snoozer.

It works in the comics but I don't know if red is the best color for stealthy ninjas.

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About Me

I'm a geek, an atheist (who is also an ordained reverend), a peanut butter and jelly enthusiast, a man who shares the same name with a popular character from "Parks & Rec" and feels he can't live up to the awesomeness of the fictional character, was proudly banned from Reddit, an occasional Shakespearean performer, and a stand up comic.
Have any questions, recommendations or wanna share any theories on various movies? Email me at RevRonMovies@gmail.com and I'll talk about them on my new Q&A segment!