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Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate..

Reality Bites: For the Love of Ray J

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines reality as: a real event, entity, or state of affairs.

One would assume that’s what we get when we plop down on our couches to watch our favorite reality television program.

As it turns out, we haven’t seen that type of realism since the first two seasons of The Real World. Season 3 was when it all changed. Once Puck became a household name for being America’s least favorite roommate, the gloves were off. The “reality” in reality television became an afterthought.

Now every reality show cast members knew they could become a overnight celebrity just by slapping another cast member or spitting in someone’s face. Before you knew it the average person could become a star. They would have a interviews on Leno, The Today Show, Regis and Kelly, and not to mention all the water cooler talk at offices around America.

Soon every wannabe/has been actor or actress was trying to stretch their 15 minutes of fame by humiliating themselves on TV in hope of resuscitating their career.

It is true that MTV started the unhealthy trend of brainless reality TV…………… but VH1 has somehow kicked it up a notch.

If this was the Old Testament a VH1 reality show family tree would look like this: The Surreal Life begat Strange Love: and Strange Love begat Flavor of Love: and Flavor of Love begat Charm School and I Love New York: and I Love New York begat A Real Chance at Love: and Flavor of Love and I Love New York begat I Love Money.

How crazy is that? I’m sure I may have missed a few shows in between. So what did VH1 have in store for us next? You guessed it! For the Love of Ray J. I have to admit that this show ranked 137th on my list of possible shows VH1 would give us next. Ray J wasn’t on anybody’s radar. I’m not sure he even qualifies as a celebrity.

What is Ray J famous for? 1) being Brandy’s little brother 2) two “hit” songs: Wait a Minute and One Wish. 3) a sex tape with Kim Kardashian. Millions of people downloaded video of his James Westfall and Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. What’s even funnier is if you check out his IMDB page he has a directors credit for his sex tape. I wish I was making this up. I’m surprised Reggie Bush hasn’t smashed his face in yet.

So in hindsight, Ray J fits the mold perfectly. He’s a falling star who is desperately trying to hold onto any sort of fame he can get. His sex tape obviously didn’t get him enough press. The next logical step was his very own reality TV show.

I decided to start watching For the Love of Ray J to see if anything about this show would be different.

I must say that this show is high comedy! I don’t know what’s funnier how serious Ray J pretends to be or the ridiculous women that have been casted for the show.

The show opens with a terrible concert performance from Ray J. All the girls are forced to act like they love his music or risk being kicked off the show. I love reality TV.

14 girls in the house but only 12 beds. One of the girls acts surprised that there are “eliminations” on the first night. Really? You haven’t seen ANY of the past 45 reality dating shows when this happens? I find that hard to believe but I’ll take her word for it.

All the girls gather to meet for dinner with Ray J. If you’ve ever been in a room full of women, you know they inevitably start sizing each other up like they’re in a UFC fight. The women talk openly about seeing Ray J’s sex tape. Before I can throw up in my mouth, Ray J appears in a white fur coat looking like an extra in American Pimp. Someone should tell him they are taping in Los Angeles not Boston. Ray J does another non original idea and gives all the girls nicknames. Could they be a little more creative. We are about a year away from voting online to choose nicknames for all of the cast members.

The average IQ of the women on the show as to be 39. Most of these girls aren’t smarter than my iPod. I pray that it’s all an act and this can’t be real. Our public school systems can’t be this bad.

What’s dinner is over, Ray J looks to spend time with the girls. Each girl wants to put their best foot forward before the shows first elimination. Ray J asked the girls to show him something. Chardonnay promptly does the splits and bounces off the ground like a stripper. This move instantly does three things: 1) makes her automatically my favorite cast member 2) tells everyone she’s not going home the first night and 3) makes every other girl on the show hate her. The look on the other contestants faces was priceless. They looked like their team just lost the game at the last second. The reality fan face is one of the funnier TV faces (along with the “I can’t believe you bid $1 over me on the Price is Right Face”) Most of the women had look that was a mix between “Oh my God I can’t believe she did that” and “Damn I was saving that for episode 5″.

Eliminations come and it’s time to kick off two contestants. I love how Ray J acts like it’s such a tough decision. You just met these women an hour ago, I’m sure making your decision is not that hard. Of course he kicks off the women who seemed a little too wholesome for the show. He is 5’2″ so he may have just eliminated all of the tall girls. The jury is still out on that.

The show ends just about as predictable as it started. Unfortunately there are no real surprises on For the Love of Ray J.

What’s my problem with this show? It’s just like every other reality show we’ve seen. Yet somehow the levels of ridiculousness seem to go up with every new reality show. Does Ray J really need a show to meet women? I don’t think so. Find some average guy with marginal features and set him up on a dating show. These C+ celebrities try to pimp their new CD, clothing line, or even some other facet of their life that most people don’t care about.

My major issue with this type of show is that it is a parody of another show. Why have we not seen anything new? The only difference between Brandy’s little brother and Flavor Flav is that he hands out champagne instead of oversized clock necklaces.

Nothing is ever better than the original. Let’s hope the folks at VH1 figure this out soon.

Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate..