“Madam,” I say. “Were you to ask me, I’d color you green. Green with envy.”

To which Cook replies, “Henry, you’re just a dog. A dog with as much talent as I have in my thumb. Now, get in the car.”

Cook can be rather trying at times. Which is why, I do my usual thing and pretend not to hear her as I climb into the car. I assume we’re on our way to find me an agent.

“Carry on, Cook,” is all I say.

I soon realize, though, that isn’t the plan. She’s not taking me to Hollywood. Instead, we are running the usual errands, to the post office and other innocuous spots that have nothing to do with either me or helping me climb the ladder to stardom.

Sigh.

As I lick my wounds, I remember how it all began, my journey to fame and fortune. Seems so long ago, but it was just the day before, when we received a telephone call from Dr. Marvil, the royal vet.

I had just finished my breakfast, and was about to embark on my morning constitutional, when the telephone rang. Cook answered the call and talked for what seemed like an eternity, thus setting me on a barking rampage, as I don’t like it when Cook’s attention is averted from yours truly.

“Hurry up, Cook!” I barked.

“Stop it, Henry!” was her response. “I can’t hear what Dr. Marvil is trying to say!”

When she finally got off the call, she said, “Henry! Dr. Marvil is going to be featured in a film that will be shown at a national veterinarians’ conference this fall—and you are to be in it! Of all his patients, Dr. Marvil has chosen you to star in the video with him!

Me? I mean, moi? To star in my very own video? (Albeit, with Dr. Marvil.)

Dr. Marvil and I, along with his technician, share a private moment on the set of, ahem, our latest film. Yes, that’s it.

In that moment, it was easy to picture my name up in lights but, was I ready for my close-up?

“Cook!” I shouted. “Get me to the royal groomer at once!”

Of course, she ignored me. Instead, we went straight away to see Dr. Marvil. And when we arrived, I was crushed to learn that there was no time for makeup or a fitting. Which meant, I would have to rely on my own wits and brilliance, along with my gleaming, white teeth, which I would flash at the camera.

Upon arrival, I was thrust into an empty room, where Dr. Marvil sees his patients. As I waited for Dr. Marvil and the film crew to appear, I wondered, when do I speak? What are my lines?

Will I get a chance to rehearse?

Suddenly, a team of filmmakers rushed in. And, by a team, I mean two—one holding the camera and the other grasping the boom mic. Dr. Marvil and his associate entered from a side door.

All eyes were soon upon me. Was I expected to say something clever and pithy? Perhaps quote Shakespeare?

As I steadied my trembling voice—for I was nervous, after all—I let out a brief cough and, in my best baritone, I recited MacBeth.

“If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown—“

“No, no!” barked the cameraman. “Silence, Dog!”

His alarming voice took me aback. How dare he speak to a Cavalier King Charles in that manner! Didn’t he know I descended from royalty?

I shook my head in dismay. So, no lines then? Fine. You win this time, Cameraman. I’ll wait for the video to go viral, and when that happens, I’ll be up to my ears with offers for speaking roles. That will show him!

“Now, Dr. Marvil,” the cameraman said pointedly. “You were saying?”

Dr. Marvil began to speak, while he poked and prodded at me. I cannot recall what he said, but no doubt he was speaking highly of me, and how I was a model patient.

Later, I asked Cook how much I was to get from my first gig.

“Nothing, Henry. You got 15 minutes of fame and now it’s over. On the plus, you did get a free checkup.”

“Nothing? No beaucoup bucks? Cook, how am I expected to travel to take my place at the royal throne, with nothing but a free checkup?”

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29 thoughts on “15 Minutes of Fame”

Sir Henry, I love, love, love this post! How exciting for you to be featured in Dr. Marvil’s film! Roxy is very impressed. I sat her on my lap and we looked at your photos together. We can’t believe how handsome you look! It’s no wonder you were chosen to be the star! :)

Yes, I’m so glad you and Miss Roxy agree. I loved my moment in the limelight, and I’m sure once they see the video in Hollywood, the sky’s the limit. Now, if I can only convince Cook…hmm…

Please give Roxy Dear my best. Perhaps one day she’ll be able to visit me when I take my place by the throne. Though Cook says, the only throne I’ll be able to take my place at is the one she calls a toilet. Cook loves to quash my dreams, doesn’t she.

Henry, I am waiting to see you star in one of those Disney movies.. You and Monica (you pet) can go on a journey, get separated by a raging river, you make friends with a mountain lion and rescue Monica from a big bear. Talk to Monica, I bet she can write a heck of a script.

My dear Brenda, I hardheartedly agree! I’ve been trying to get the attention of the Disney Studios. So far, to no avail. If you would kindly put in a word for me, I shall be forever grateful, as Cook refuses to indulge me in pursuing a career. I was meant for the stage. She says, I was meant for the sofa. Sigh.

Sir Henry, with the price of veterinary care these days, you’re lucky to have snagged a free checkup! Still, I know it wounded your feelings not to get a speaking role. Maybe next time — after you get the agent, you know?!

I think this role is only the beginning for you, Henry. Dogs with acting talent are rare, so I hope Cook realizes what a treasure she has in you. :) P.S. Lola said she wanted to be in a movie, too, until she found out they filmed it at the vet. She’s terrified of that place.

How damn cute is Henry! And what a hoot that he calls you “Cook.” Isn’t it funny how our dogs bark when we’re on the phone? Here I thought it was only ours with that impolite habit! Hope you and Henry have a great week, my friend.
Hugs,
Kathy

Oh Henry, I think Cook needs to move you to Beverly Hills and take you for a milkshake somewhere near, say, Hollywood and Vine so you can be discovered. After all, you deserve, being royalty and all, to have more than just 15 minutes of fame.

Dear Henry, I am sure you were wonderful. There is always a chance that indeed the video will go viral. Perhaps the “America’s Got Talent” people will see it and give you the break you deserve. In the meantime, please be kind to cook as it’s clear she’s not cut out for the high pressure world of fame. Maybe she’ll make you a nice treat though.

Everybody has to start at the bottom, granted being a small dog your bottom is low down but you must live with that.

Look on the positive side, you have a chauffeur, even if she is a cook. You have medical care with somebody who is not only good he is actually a Marvel!!!

What more could you want? Yes I know you would like your own chat show, but who would you have on there who would not be so impressed by your majesty and presence that they would be lost for words, you can’t have a chat show with speechless guests, unless of course your Jay Leno!!!

I know you would like your own palace, but look at it logically the royal Corgis over here have told me that the place they live in is cold in winter and their owners now open up parts of the place in summer to get some money in the bank.

You stay as you are with Cook, she feeds you she loves you and she takes care of you, that young man is far more important than 15mins of fame!!!