I thought that I could just list some swim types that I have observed in or around swimming pool(s). These swim types are entirely of another order than, and not related to Swim Smooth swim types. Please take them as a light subject, nothing deep to be found in there.

I mean absolutely no offense to anyone. I like situational or contextual humor. I dislike mockery. Hope that this thread fits both.Notice that all swim types end with a "-ist" to emphasize the expertness of the type, not just someone doing things (-er, -or).

Can be seen cruising in swimming pools at specific time periods.Is constantly searching for eye contact with someone on deck or in the pool.Does swim at times, but only in an attempt to impress the targeted person. Swim technique is usually inversely proportional to the time smiling.Can be male or female.

Can be observed in the water, multiple times per week, indoor, outdoor, or open water.Is easily identified by extremely peculiar tools used, such as ankle bands, or dragging devices (parachutes), or lead belt, among others.Is systematically out-of-breath, on the verge of passing out, out of physical or mental effort.Has been subject to severe muscles cramps or drowning more than once. Interestingly, this type of happenings motivates them even more to push the limit. They particularly enjoy suffering.

Is rarely seen in an empty pool.Their reason for living lies in racing with other swimmers, in the same or in the neighboring lane, even if they do not know each other.They particularly proliferate in environments where hobby swimmers practice body balance drills or easy lap swimming.Their swim technique is usually rough and they spill a lot of water... in the air and in the face of other swimmers.

This species does not race, rather exclusively practice extremely sophisticated drills: one arm only, one leg only, no arm, no leg, one finger on the top of head, the other hand unzipping the side of the body, no arm and no leg and no undulation and with the big toe only (?), one arm in one direction and the other in the other direction, swimming crawl backwards, backstroke forward, reverse butterfly, reverse breaststroke, mixing swim styles or inventing new styles, not yet named drills, among others.

Their closest cousins in the human evolution are to be found in reputed circuses and selected theme parks.

Although possessing the necessary physical features to speak, this species does not let any word come out of their mouth.They usually cruise in the swimming pool at a moderate speed, however over a significant distance. For the untrained eye, they may be confused with pool cleaning robots as they move in straight lines up and down the pool at a constant speed with no or little breathing movements.An interesting characteristics is their ability to time each lap with great consistencyy, such that some swimmers use them as a reference for controlling their own pace. The lane in which they cruise is most of the time clear of any other swimmers as they might generate a feeling of fear, much like standing in the path of a driverless car.

Although often in the water, their ability to swim is little developed.They excel in identifying one another. They usually form clusters of the same kind at the end of the pool, though it might happen that clusters form in the middle of the lane, especially in shallow waters. Interestingly, they have the ability to form particularly large clusters during mid- to long distance swimmer training sessions.They can be male or female, young or less young.

Another variation on the "chat lane" types - pairs of ladies (never chaps!) chatting away animatedly and facing each other. about 4 ft apart as they bounce along sideways up/down the uniform depth pool. Haven't "sussed out" yet what the supposed benefit is! There have been occasions when I've seen 2 pairs of ladies doing it, while others are struggling to swim past them in the un-roped area. What shall we call them - "Crabbists"?

My other "bete-noire" is the breast-stroker who keeps the head above the water all the time and is oblivious to keeping a straight course - and so veers across the path of a poor freestyler, behind and to one side, who spends most of the stroke cycle with head looking at the bottom, following the line of tiles. (The offender is usually a lady again. trying not to get her "hair-do" wet!)

I "get my own back" by sometimes doing a bit of butterfly, with splashy arm water entries - causing a bit of consternation to the "head above the water all the time" swimmers ("Oooh! What a lot of nasty splash he makes!"). Except one lady said to me "I'm getting out now - so it's all right for you to swim butterfly!" "Oh - thank you ma'am!" I meekly replied.