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Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

DISCLAIMER:The views and opinions expressed in this are for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflect the beliefs of the management or administration of this delightful website. Any similarities to persons alive, dead, or Lee Evans is purely coincidental. And speaking of Lee, with his bitch-hands removed from the equation this season, the Mighty Ravens were able to roll up their sleeves, BUCKle Up and put foot to ass, leading us nicely into this AFC Championship edition of- Heroes & Goats...

HEROES:

1) JOE FLACCO- Outplayed Brady the Lady, manhandled the Patriots defense and totally avenged the loss from last year's playoff game like a BOSS. In fact, you slit his team's throat with such razor precision at GILLETTE Stadium that Bob Kraft may be calling you after the Super Bowl with an endorsement deal!

2) ANQUAN BOLDIN/DENNIS PITTA- Q, you said we'd win and I'll be dipped in shit if you didn't force the issue. Those Patriots DBs didn't know whether to be impressed or embarassed Sunday night!/I've already annointed you my favorite Ravens TE ever and you're easily as tough as any we've had in Purple and Black. Somebody should authorize Pitta to receive hazardous duty pay!

3) RAVENS DEFENSE- Giving up field goals instead of touchdowns was HUGE! Pounding the Patriots offense for 60 minutes like Traci Lords in a 10-man gangbang was COLOSSAL!! Snatching 3 turnovers and the hearts of Chowdaheads everywhere...PRICELESS!!!

4) RAVENS OFFENSIVE LINE- The way you dudes have been protecting him lately, Flacco has to be happier than James Harrison at a BALCO orgy!

5) RAVENS FANS- There's nothing more beautiful than seeing our fanbase travel well when it counts-- In the playoffs!! Well, maybe not better than seeing us celebrate with our AFC Champion Ravens as helpless zipperhead SpyGate fans choke wicked hawd on their Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah!! Next Stop: NEW ORLEANS!!

Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

Awesome R52!

I'm gonna include OJ Brigance with the heroes cuz it is through our weaknesses that we are made perfect. And on that note, include the CBS camera crew with the goats for not showing the coin toss. OJ was out there as a captain.

My other heroes are the entire coaching staff. Shutting Brady out in the 2nd half (peas!!!) And cutting Flacco lose in the 2nd (harbs, caldwell!!!) and dropping 21 unanswered on those arrogant bitches!!!

Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

Originally Posted by ballhawk

Awesome R52!

I'm gonna include OJ Brigance with the heroes cuz it is through our weaknesses that we are made perfect. And on that note, include the CBS camera crew with the goats for not showing the coin toss. OJ was out there as a captain.

My other heroes are the entire coaching staff. Shutting Brady out in the 2nd half (peas!!!) And cutting Flacco lose in the 2nd (harbs, caldwell!!!) and dropping 21 unanswered on those arrogant bitches!!!

Excellent points, especially regarding OJ! Great having him in the locker room afterwards - win this thing for Art, Torrie's Brother, and OJ, as well as Ray, and the other veterans who are soooo deserving!

"Grab those pusillanimous sons-a-bitches by the nose and kick 'em in the balls.." General George S. Patton