I've been waking up with my arms laid over the back of my head trying to suffocate myself into my pillow. In the dreams I can always tell it's happening because I hear what sounds like a whistling alarm, when in reality it is me suffocating

Sent from my iPhone

If she dies at the Kentucky LGBTQ House of Unspeakable Autism, the roommates will have quite a mess on their hands. An ambulance will have to come and transport the body to a hospital where she will have to be pronounced dead. I doubt any of her organs would actually be in any condition to donate so not even in death will she be useful to humanity.

Police will have to do a cursory investigation to make sure there was no foul play because of her age but then they’ll see her size and likely take pictures to show around the cop shop. (Cops are sick fucks. A friend’s sister was a cop and showed a picture of a decomposing corpse of someone around Ambers size at the dinner table one holiday.)

Depending on how long between death and discovery, there may be a lot to clean up...

Becky will hopefully have access to her YouTube money otherwise big AL is probably going to be buried as an indigent person in a Potters Field type deal.

And Becky will have yet another dead girlfriend/relative story that she so loves to tell.

Do threads of deceased cows get locked on the farms? Julie Terryberry’s thread is locked Iirc.

Eric will probably vlog the funeral because he knows that video will get hella views and will likely be the most interesting thing he ever films.

Degenerate Robot

Numberless cicadas explode outward of her bloated corpse, consuming all present. The cicada horde possesses a insatiable hunger for adipose flesh. It is only a few days before the state of Kentucky is depopulated, then the states surrounding it.

I made it rain shrimp! What'd *you* ever do?

We all know it will be gross and a complete clusterfuck when Amber dies. It's always a messy thing when someone who weighs this much dies. If they cremate her they're gonna have to cut her up to get her into the chute to reduce her to ashes. If they bury here she's gonna need one hell of a casket and a huge plot. If she dies alone it's gonna be like when coastal towns blow up dead whales that wash ashore. There is no way to die with anything approaching dignity when you are a landcow and it's even harder to approach the situation with grace or frugality.

The thing is, who takes "custody" of the situation. Generally when a woman dies and she is unmarried, her parents or siblings will handle her funeral arrangements. Amberlynn's not that close to her family and I don't think her parents. her siblings or even Aunt Tammy are in a position to pay for even the cheapest funeral. So does that mean Becky, Rickie and Eric will be forced to pay for disposal of her carcass? Can they just have the city come remove the body and then leave it at that, like making the state pay for her to be buried in a Potter's Field sort of place? Will the city come and seize all her notebooks, chokers and stickers in an attempt to offset the costs of dealing with her? Will she end up in a mortuary fridge until someone comes to collect her?

She really needs to get her affairs in order along with some burial insurance but she won't even get health insurance so this is another reason Rickie needs to do what is necessary to get her out of that house. Her dying will be a complete mess for all three of them. But for us it will be a hilarious voyage, seeing Amber off into the sweet hereafter. Their clusterfuck will be our dairy for a couple of weeks and then we'll have to focus on Chantal's decline, and when she kicks off there will be another. It's the USA. There will always be another deluded, uneducated, super-fat asshole to observe and mock.