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im so tired of things im no longer intrested in things i used to want. im not intrested in anything. i feel like the evil eye happened to me because compare now to 2 years ago, i used to love life , have dreams , motivated and now im the opposite , i have no desire for anything , i dont want to continue anymore, im always feeling empty, and i pray to Allah everyday but things get worse and worse. what happened to me in just confusing to me and i dont where im heading.. i just want to know why im like this and km the only one thats like this? could it be the evil eye? because i know that i used to be succesful and it felt as if people got jealous and now im just like dead

I never had any close friends either. I guess I am very individualistic person, I feel that people always expect too much and I fail to fulfill their expectations. I think I don't expect a lot from other people, so people should expect a lot from me also, but I guess I am wrong.I have found like-minded people, some religious scholars and some other people but all of them are narcissists. I don't know how do they know all the right things to say. I listen to them and I get very happy that this person understands me and thinks exactly like me, but when I start trusting them, then they take a 180 degree turn and they always want something in return for giving me a little bit of happiness. Sometimes I do feel I am all alone in the world and there's absolutely no one who thinks like me. When we find someone who thinks like us, I guess it makes us feel safe and less lonely. But Narcissists make you feel safe, and then they want to get some advantage from you, and it keeps going on and on. I didn't read the article, so I am not sure if my post was really related to your topic. I will read it tomorrow.
In short, I want to be friends with like-minded people only if I can find them somewhere.

Salam,
This has been bugging me for a while now. Why is everyone so intolerant of everyone? Muslims are intolerant of the West. Shia Muslims are intolerant of Sunni (or any other sect) Muslims, and vice versa. Shia Muslims are intolerant of other Shia Muslims from other countries (e.g Iraq vs Iran, India vs Pakistan, although I think the latter is more tame than the former countries). Shia Muslims of the same country are intolerant of each other's respective schools of thought (e.g Shirazis vs Khomeinis, although I don't even know the root of the conflict). The list goes on and on. We could sit here and argue about all the examples I've brought up, some of you can defend your intolerant views, but we have enough of that throughout the forum. I, like many others, belong to a minority group, within a minority, within a minority. And the amount of times I've been judged for belonging to certain groups (some of which are beyond my control) is frustrating. Half the time I'm being insulted for some random people who supposedly belong to the same minority as myself, and I don't even know who they are and what they've done, and why I'm suddenly the target of such hatred. Why do we always pick on the tiniest differences to create greater divisions within ourselves? We as Shias, are already a minority, why do some people feel the need to create more and more divisions and more minority groups within the minority group itself? It's so frustrating to have to deal with these divisions on a daily basis, whether on SC or in real life. Some people need to get it through their heads that just because you come under the same label as someone else, it does not mean you are their clone.

Thank God you mentioned this. The amount of cliquey behavior, judgement, and intolerance has seriously turned me off to this Ummah. I avoid Muslims in real life more now as a result since I’m certain now they all have the same intolerance deep down and are just polite to your face.
The amount of intolerance I see sometimes makes me feel hopeless. Non Muslims have better conduct and have more empathy than we are supposed to have as Muslims.

As long as we are divided, we will remain weak.
We, meaning Shia.
We, meaning Muslims.
We, meaning believers.
We, meaning humans.
It will only be through knowing each other and respecting and seeking to understand our differences that we will be able to stand against the forces of evil and oppression.
That having been said, we must not compromise our beliefs. It is not necessary or beneficial to change our religion in order to get along better with others. It is perfectly possible to disagree and still love and respect our fellow human.

In many cases, friends are better than family - at least for some of us who aren't really friends with the relatives. But why do we choose the people we choose to be friends with? Shared interests? Proximity? According to this article, it might be more fundamental and far more complex than that. It might be that we just happen to be "on the same wavelength".
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_you_click_with_certain_people
On the other hand, maybe we start to think like the people who we choose to associate with. I tend to believe that the "same wavelength" is the effect, not the cause, but I've always had many friendly acquaintances, few friends, so maybe I've just not experienced it. Thoughts?

No offense br, and I am a father too, but when you make the statment 'If someone came and asked to do mutah....they wouldn't leave in one piece'.
You are obviously judging them and judging that they have bad intentions. I am not saying that if one of my children ( I have boys only, no girls) wanted to do it, I would allow them. It would depend on their circumstances, and the spouse. I would do a thorough background investigation, as you should do for all marriage. But at the same time, If I said for sure, no matter what I would say no, this is not Islam, and this is the reason why there are so many young people who go deeply into haram and some end up leaving the religion, it is because the elders and parents will not even consider something that is halal as a solution under any circumstances.
Like most parents, I would greatly prefer that my sons stayed unmarried until they graduate from college and have a good job. At the same time, I realize that this is not a realistic solution for most young people. I would rather have them do mutah than get into haram. Yes, my reputation in the community would probably take a hit, people may talk behind my back, assume things about my family, spread rumors, etc, but I care more about the Deen of my children than I do about what the community will say. Also, being a revert to Islam and looking visibly caucasian, I am already used to people assuming things and spreading rumors about me, so I am kind of used to it by now and I guess that is part of it.
At the same time, I respect you for saying this. Most fathers think this way, but would never admit it in public. That takes some courage to do. The goal of all of us, I think, is to figure out how we can save our children and our community from going toward haram. In order to acheive this goal, we need to have an open and honest discussion, not just with others who agree with use about the solution, but also those who disagree with us. Salam.

I dont believe sister @Ruqaya101 is restricting it to just islamic knowledge.
Several months ago, there was another thread about how to get ready for Imam Mahdi (as) and people were discussing military training. I said half-joking, half-serious that I would be happy to be a cook in the Imam's army. That offended several people.
We tend to think of the Imam (as) as just a war general who will need mullahs and warriors. That is a great disservice.
He will be developing and leading a society. That means he will need doctors, engineers, teachers, bureaucrats (running government), computer guys, economists, etc. We should excel in seeking knowledge in all areas....my 2 cents.

The reason is because the ummah betrayed and killed those who Allah appointed for us to follow. If the ummah had held onto the rope of Allah, that rope being ahlul bayt (as), they wouldn't have become disunited and divided. A leader is essential for unity of a nation, the leader of the ummah is the imam who is the khalifa of Allah.

As an outsider looking in, this man doesn't seem like he has any positive attributes that would compell you to stay with him. You've implied that he's cheating on you (you haven't stated that explicitly though), he's not supporting you mentally or emotionally, in fact he's deteriorating your mental health, and finally, he is not fulfilling his role as a husband.
If you want your daughter to be happy, she needs to see you happy. If you can't be happy with such a man, leave him. Someone else made a similar thread, and I'm going to repeat what I told her: think of all his positive attributes, all the things you think you love about him. Are they good enough? What was the reason you married him in the first place? Does he make you happy? Does he make your daughter happy? Does he care about you? If you can't think of any positives, leave him. If you think the negatives outweigh the positives, leave him. If you think that the positives outweigh the negatives, or if you think that he can seriously change himself for you, give him one last chance. You've made it clear you've tried multiple times and nothing's changed. What are you waiting for?
Some men are a little on the colder side, and express their love a little differently, which makes it harder to pick up on. But according to what you've said, he doesn't express his love to you in any way whatsoever.
Just remember, whatever choice you make, will it make you and your daughter happy? Will it be in the best interest of you and your daughter to make such a decision? Do you think it would be better for her to watch her parents exchange cold interactions and have that as an example for her future relationships? Or would you want her to see both her parents happy and respectful to one another? At the end of the day, it's your choice. Just remember, you're not to blame. Prioritise your happiness because without it, your daughter will never be happy.

I reckon you should be honest. You should never feel bad about saying no to someone if it's for the better.
Yeah he'll get hurt at the start, regardless of what you say, but will eventually move on.
Just say that you don't see yourself with him, and he should respect your personsl reasons.

Why not early marriage, as in 21-25? As long as the two people are in university and have some sort of financial standing, I don’t see how it’d be a problem. I don’t think permanent marriage can only happen in late 20s and above. This seems to be the trend now only because every Tom and Harry with minimum wage jobs try to go after someone out of their league. And women would reject duds with no ambition as a result. Since, let’s be honest, anyone who chooses to work at a minimum wage job with no degree (unless one is an unusual circumstance) by the age of 30-35 in Western civilization (where there are so many options for people to get degrees like CCs, financial aid, and online schools) is likely a bum.
Anyway, being celibate until your early twenties would be fairly easy. It’s by no means a walk in the park, but it can be done. Why not exercise a little patience until 19, 20, 21, Etc, and marry someone permanently who is suitable? Early permanent marriage is a far better alternative to a string of broken mutah relationships until late twenties.
And we seem to be forgetting a crucial aspect: the more you engage in mutah, the more likely you are to be dissatisfied with your permanent spouse in the bedroom since you’ll more likely compare the person to others you’ve had. Wouldn’t that open the door to a lot of evils? Such as adultery? Studies have shown that the more sexual partners you’ve had, the more likely you are to cheat on your spouse.
EDIT: I am American, born and raised, but I never “dated” anyone. I kept boys away from me, until I was 21 when I met my now-husband. There are people out there who don’t date around before marriage. Was it easy? No. But I waited, and if people only wait, stay patient, know what they want in a spouse, they’ll be able to find someone suitable, inshallah.

If you are unable to do Mut'ah or Nikah -
If a Muslim cannot marry soon after puberty, then he or she just has two options: temporary abstinence or temporary marriage. (A) Temporary Abstinence Islam has allowed marriage as soon as a person becomes physically mature, and it also strongly recommends that at least during the early years of marriage to adopt a simple life-style so that the lack or paucity of financial resources does not obstruct a happy life. But if a person decides, for whatever reason, not to marry soon after he or she becomes physically mature, then the only way is to adopt temporary abstinence. After strongly recommending the marriage of single people, the Qur'an says, "And those who cannot marry should practice restrain (or abstinence) till Allah enriches them out of His bounty." (24:33)
Reference : https://www.al-islam.org/marriage-and-morals-islam-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/chapter-three-islamic-sexual-morality-2-its

No it is not permissible as Imam Ali(a.s) says
"Look out for your thoughts, for they will become your words.
Look out for your words, for they will become your actions.
Look out for your actions, for they will become your habits.
Look out for your habits, for they will become your character.
Look out for your character, for they will become your fate."
Imam Ali (A.S)
Really, how brilliantly has Imam Ali(A.S) described the process by which one’s fate is shaped through the necessity of looking out for his/her thoughts.
Undoubtedly, some might imagine that one should be allowed to possess any kind of thought(s) she or he may like. Yet the truth, as we can infer from the above-mentioned narrative, is that just good thoughts can lead us to the enlightened path and eternal happiness and evil thoughts lead us to evil words, evil deeds, and evil habits and consequently an evil character which obviously result in a condition in which the individual is doomed to a mischievous destination.
It is of vital significance for us to mind our thoughts first and foremost if we desire happiness and salvation, and also to teach our children and youngsters to do the same, for their hearts are as Imam Ali (A.S) has said: “Like a fertile land which takes and grows any seed sown in it.”
And let’s start purifying our thoughts from this very moment and try to be on guard against harmful, forbidden thoughts which, as Imam Ali (A.S) has clarified, lead to misfortune and misery. May Allah help all of us to achieve that blessed fate which our infallible leaders (A.S) have desired for us.
If thoughts come into your mind without you control then leave it on Imam e Asr(a.s) (The Imam of our time) and seek help through patience and prayers and keep on ignoring them, They will 101% vanish.

For many young male (or female) believers, simply going to school in the West and carrying out one’s regular educational activities may be a severe challenge of the nafs. The school can sometimes strongly serve as an arena where it’s just the individual and the accursed Satan, and Satan tries to strike at the individual from all directions. Many times god forbid one may lack the will and strength to stand firm in defence and boom Satan triumphs.
A lot of the times it’s that burning and wild desire from within that tells one, “it’s cool bro you can look at her, your intentions are fine”, however it’s not a matter of milliseconds in which this “safe look” becomes corrupt, which then opens the door for many toxic thoughts to flow into the mind. Feeling weak and already defeated, god forbid one allows himself to fall into the same trap again. Sometimes one may get so desperate that yes he tilts his head towards some other direction but really while doing so, but he’s also subconsciously trying to be slick and steal some quick peripheral vision glances of her...
Keeping one’s gaze away from that which is forbidden and keeping one’s thoughts clean can be one hell of challenge for a lot of male youth in the West.A lot of the times when one falls victim to this trap, it’s usually during times like walking around on campus, sitting in the bus traveling to school, or any other time when the mind isn’t really busy and isn’t being used to perform any sorta serious task. It’s usually when the mind is on idle mode when Satan starts to whisper, and filth enters the mind. Unfortunately the mind has nothing better to do at times and so it entertains these thoughts. It surely is no joke when people say that the mind plays a big role on the way one acts and behaves. God forbid the mind serves as the root of some devastating domino effect of sin. Well, what’s something that can be done to counter this problem?
Many times one may see an individual walking around with a tasbeeh with them and god forbid gets negative thoughts about the person. However, if one gets in the habit of taking a tasbeeh with them everywhere, they’ll just naturally be more inclined towards busying their lips with the beautiful dhikr of Allah. If one ponders, the tasbeeh may be of more benefit than just helping one keep count successfully...The tasbeeh will firstly motivate one to recite dhikr but also help one busy his mind with clean thoughts and stay away from sin! For example, a beautiful na mehram walks into the bus while one is at his seat and the temptation to look really starts to kick in, she might even end up sitting right across from you. However! You have a tasbeeh dangling in your hand and hopefully you’ll think “I have a tasbeeh in my hand and I’m reciting the dhikr of Allah, am I really gonna look at her that way now and disobey Allah while reciting all this dhikr, I just can’t !”. Inshallah you’ll then control your gaze successfully and go back to focusing on the dhikr”.
Lol I thought of this idea today, and I hope to try this out iA. This was already probably thought of before. I just thought this would be nice to share with you all. I’m not telling you to try this, or do anything.

I dont know why I didn't contemplate asking this earlier. But all of a sudden, I remembered and it came to my mind today.
I can't even remember when this happened (this is what memorising 13 lectures of 80 slides for 4 units for university exams does to your mind).
ahh yes! first of all, reallllly do need your prayers for my exams, (got really REALLY sick for the last 3 months, so I missed out on most of my labs and now im a lost child, especially in physics.) so pray for me for the love of all that you love!
okay lets get to the main story. about a year ago early 2017 in December or January, (to be specific I remember the days were called layali al fatamiyeh, or the nights of fatimah) I was in Iraq, in my hometown and about a week away from coming back to the west when spontaneously, my father decided to go to Karbala for one last visit. we got to Karbala and I was really really REALLY sick and almost begged my father for me not to go because it would have really depressed me if I wasn't able to enter and touch the shrine and do my ziyarah. but my dad insisted I go. ( I was completely blacked out until we got there, all of a sudden I wake up and the gubbah of the imam was RIGHT in front of me, the maqqam.) so I wake up (I was sleeping on the open cart trolleys they carry around people and food and bags, etc. ) and and instantly realised where I was. I got pretty upset that the imam was right in front of me and I did not have enough strength to go and make ziyarah, so I looked up at the golden gubbah or round shrine? idk what its called, and I made a silent prayer and I also said that I am sorry I am not strong enough to go in and pray or touch your shrine, and on behalf of your mother sayyidah Zehra for you to give me something that I can hold on to, a sign that im on the right path, that I won't go astray and for me and my family to grow and become better muslims and genuine people. I ask you on behalf of your mother sayideh zahraa to cure my mother, who was sick at the time with an incurable disease. and ya habibi ya hussein, I ask of you to please give me a sign, anything, say something back to me, give me an answer if on the right path.
I looked back towards me as a group of women and men came out in symmetrical rows holding lit up candles on behalf of sayideh fatimah, it was one of the most beautiful scene that I have ever seen. but my eyes kind of looked past them and instant eye contact happened with a man, mashallah his face was glowing and I thought I was looking at an angel, he saw me and quite literally sprinted towards me, my grandma and mother got so scared and my grandma tried to pull me back but before she could, he reached me, put a white candle in my hand and then sprinted off and suddenly disappeared.
we were all in shock.
now, I kept that candle with me like it was treasure and kept it safe. on the way back, we passed bint al Hassan shareefa A.S and then for some reason we kept getting delayed. however finally once we got on to our can and were driving back to our hometown, we were about to stop at a restaurant and feel up when a terrosist explosion took place right in our view (one of the scariest events I have ever experiences, probably the scariest.) even if my cousin jokingly said "if only we were in that restaurant, we would have died hungry and died martyrs, we could be eating with the prophet right now." alhadmulilah we got to our hometown safe and sound, and the candle was safe in my bag. when I came back from the bathroom, my grandma and mum were holding the candle and telling the rest of my family what happened and how this man was sprinting and suddenly disappeared. all of a sudden, the kids grabbed it from my grandma or mums hand and it snapped in half . I won't lie, I cried. a lot... it didn't even last the night!
I still have the candle, the top half, I think I have the bottom half too but im not sure. its in my time capsule in my storage cupboard.
my aunty advised me to let the candle burn out completely, but I dont want to do that...
first question: did the fact that it snap meaning something? but I dont think it did, cause I see imam hussein all the time either in my dreams or I see him whenever I pray, he usually prays in from too me and I follow his lead.
second question: what should I do with the candle, many say I should let it burn, some say I should light it up whenever I feel in despair, idk, its just in my box in my cupboard with my most prized possessions. I feel as though I should do something with it.
so sorry this is such a long post.

That is true. Even among religious Muslim families. I can’t tell you how many men have married Ahlul Kitab for this very reason and no one bats an eye. The community will probably even think good things since they have hope that a Christian wife will eventually convert.
A woman’s life and reputation can be destroyed if she’s rumored to have even one relationship or if her marriage is delayed regardless of the reason.

I've seen it in real life, but nowhere near as much as online. Only after I joined SC and the intolerance was so much more pronounced (and almost worn as a medal) did I begin to pick up on it in real life with everyone around me.

Tbh, it actually makes sense to give that advice. He cheats and doesn't show any affection. That sounds like resentment.
Two close friends who were married had to divorce, because the man showed that behaviour, and he recognized his resentment toward the woman. She already knew he cheated on her, but she agreed to give him an opportunity and say nothing in public. After he went with his colleagues to a striptease club, and it went public. The woman couldn't bear the shame, and decided to divorce him. The guy was also my friend, for years, but even though I talk to him from time to time, we don't share any personal relation anymore.
I spoke with the woman for hours. Before refusing to have sexual relations, the guy asked her to do uncommon sexual activities. She later discovered he used to do that with other women, or prostitutes, who knows. Such a lifestyle converts a decent man in an animal.
Moreover, there are lots of studies on the traits of a cheater. They become cold and lie without regrets. Infidelity becomes normal for them (though they cannot tolerate it when it is done to then). There are things in life that we shouldn't try even once, and cheating is one of them. He will keep lying. If you still love him, you can try staying with him for some time more, until you are very sure of your choice. You don't have to rush it. Meanwhile, think about all of this, put order to your thoughts, talk with your family (this is extremely important), and once you feel enough confidence and support, do it fee sabeel Allah.

Well, speaking from the perspective of virginity I can speak on several cases which have happened in the community here in Chicago in which...
An engagement was broken off by a guy when during the course of the engagement it was disclosed to him by his fiance that she had entered into a Mutah and was not a virgin.
A marriage was on rocky ground after it was discovered that the bride was not a virgin and that she had entered into a Mutah earlier on with another guy.
These are just some examples that are coming to mind right now as well as the ones that were made public. I don't know how many have ended or never came about because it was disclosed that the prospective bride was no longer a virgin. This comes into play a lot more regarding the woman than the man because as well all now society holds a double standard regarding this when it comes to women. I'm not defeding the double standard, just stating that it exists. Hence, the reason why I took the position of virginity.
a Mutah is the only solution to this problem ?
Physically...yes. Socially...no.
If his intention is to have sexual relations with my daughter then he needs to propose Perm. marriage. Regardless of background check or whatever other data would need to be collected. If its a Mutah for the purpose of sexual relations then my answer would most definitely be no. If he has problems controlling his libido then there are other girls out there for him to approach.
We have to live and exist within the society in which we live while still following the laws of Islam. We don't have to indulge in Haram but we can control the things which will have a negative impact within our communities.
I'm of the mindset that deen can be maintained while maintaining a reputation within the community. We don't need to sacrifice one for the sake of the other.
That's a terrible thing to hear. In the end the truth always wins out so the ones that are spreading the lies and rumors will be proven wrong.
Thanks...as I mentioned above my perspective on Mutah at this stage of my life is that of a parent. When I was younger naturally my perspective would've been more towards supporting Mutah for sexual relations because quite frankly that would've been my intention at that time. However, now being the father of a daughter has really changed my perspective on the matter. I've seen how girls are an easy target for degrading and spreading lies simply out of jealousy (as well as other trivial intentions) and believe me virginity is still at the top of the list of things which can destroy a girl's social standing. As such, the factor of parenthood defines my opinions on things such as this (as well as just about everything else in life at this point).

LOL brother. Made my day, honestly. Can you read or do you want me to read for you? I think you'd like me to read for you. Scroll up, oh Killer of the Homewreckers. I was the one telling the OP to talk to her husband and tell him how she's feeling. Others came and told her to divorce him. I never once even used that word. I encouraged her to TALK to him. Don't go around hurling accusations at random people. And if you're so concerned, speak to the people who literally told her to straight up divorce him, not me. Since you found it so difficult to find the posts where people told the OP to get a divorce, I'll provide them for you:
Stop picking on me, it doesn't look too great when you make utterly baseless accusations @AmirAlmuminin Lover
EDIT- also, stop your victim blaming. The tragic reality is some men are disgusting and vile beasts, so inevitably, no woman will want to associate with them. Stop shifting the blame onto the victim in this situation.

I should mention that in our Ummah, virginity prior to permanent marriage is still highly valued (unless you’re divorced, then it doesn’t matter) and a person’s reputation can be ruined once they want to seek a permanent spouse. Everyone will think of that person as a player.

Bismehe Ta3ala,
Assalam Alikum dear @Sisterfatima1
Insh'Allah you are well and in good health.
We are fast approaching the Arbaeen of Imam Hussain 3ala Salam.
The fastest way to Allah is through Imam Hussain 3la salam.
Imam Hussain is the light of guidance and the ship of salvation.
How are your children?
I don't know when you are ready to respond, but I just wanted you to know we care and we are asking about your wellbeing.
God bless you and protect you from all harm.
M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

Thank you for the support.. He cares but as a friend. As a husband the things i expect aren't der at all. And i don't have high expectations.. Im married in a diff state. So im away from my family. He's a nohakhan , offers his prayers properly.. but d trust a relationship needs , its lost. Im not a very skinny person but he prefers one.at times he's even said he dislikes me. How can i see my husband get personal with random girls he chats. And show me absolutely no sign of dat kind of love. Wen i question him about wat he feels abt this relationship he says dat he does like me nd he's happy. But why would a happy married man do that? I feel like a stranger wen I'm with him.

I agree with the article. I can very easily tell when i meet someone i know i will 'click' with. In my experience, most of the people I know I will 'click' with, I end up becoming very good friends with them. It's only one instance (from what I can remember) that I've turned out to be completely wrong about someone, when they seemed to be a complete opposite to me, when were infact 'friend soul mates'.
I can also tell online who I know i would click with and who I would completely not want as a friend.

try to think of it this way,
You are only hurting yourself. If that person has been able to forgive themselves then it wouldn't really matter to them too much if you haven't forgiven them.
Because they are now moving on with their life so maybe you shouldn't let it affect you that much and live your life free of any grudge.
Having a grudge isn't of much help to your self growth or your deen. Grow and learn from it.

Ali bin Yaghtin asked Imam Ridha(A) about temporary marriage. Imam(A) answered: ”Why do you want to commit it while you allready are in a permanent marriage? Allah has spared you from that need [because He has helped you to afford a permanent marriage].” (Mostadrak, vol. 2, p. 588)
Fath Ibn Yaz id recalled asking Imam Ali(A) regarding temporary marriage. Imam (A) answered:” It is indeed allowed for a person who is not in a permanent marriage so that he can keep himself chaste and in dignity (of piety) [as long as God has not given him the possibility to afford permanent marriage].” (Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 337)

From Mu'awiya bin Wahb who said,
I asked permission to meet Imam Sadiq (as). When I entered, I found him on his prayer mat in his house praying. I waited until he finished his prayers and then I heard him recite the following supplication:
"O Allah! O one who has chosen us for honor, promised us right of intercession, chosen us as successors, gave us the knowledge of the past and that which is to come and made the hearts of people inclined for us! Forgive me and my brothers who perform the Ziyarat of my grandfather, Imam Husain (as) and those who spend their wealth to travel, put their bodies to trouble seeking our pleasure in hope of the reward You have kept for associating with us."
"They perform the Ziyarat of Imam Husain (as) to make Your Prophet happy, to obey our commands and to antagonize our enemies. By this, they want to please You, so reward them on our behalf by Rizwan, protect them day and night, compensate their families and children whom they left behind in the best way and befriend them, keep them away from the harm of every insolent tyrant and every weak or strong one from Your creation, keep them away from the evil of every devil from among men and Jinn, grant them the best of that which they have requested while they are away from their homes for having preferred us over their families, children and relatives."
"O Allah! Our enemies have criticized them for going to our Ziyarat but that did not restrain them from coming to us and they went against our opponents. So have mercy on faces changed by the sun in our love. Have mercy on those cheeks which were placed on the grave of Imam Husain (as). Have mercy on those eyes which shed tears on us with sympathy. Have mercy on those hearts which have become restless/anxious and feeling burned for us and have mercy on their loud crying (screams) for us. O Allah! I entrust these bodies and souls to you till the day of great thirst when you will quench their thirst with Hauz Kauthar."
Muawiyah Ibne Wahab continued: Imam (as) continued this supplication in prostration. When he finished, I said: "May I be sacrificed on you! I think that if this supplication is in favor of even those who don’t know Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, I think that Hellfire will not touch them! By Allah, I wish I had gone to the Ziyarat of Imam Husain (as), instead of going to Hajj."
Imam (as) said, "You live so close. What prevents you from his Ziyarat? O Muawiyah! Don’t forsake it?"
I replied, “May I be sacrificed on you! I did not think that it was so important and it had such great rewards."
Imam (as) said, "Muawiyah! Those who pray for the visitors of Imam Husain (as) in the heavens are more than those who pray for them on earth."
[Source: Kamil al-Ziyarat, Chapter. 40, Hadith. 2]
وبهذا الإسناد ، عن موسى بن عُمَرَ ، عن حَسّان البصريّ ، عن معاويةَ بن وَهْب « قال : استأذنت على أبي عبدالله عليه‌السلام فقيل لي : اُدخل ، فدخلت فوجدته في مصلاّه في بيته فجلست حتّى قضى صلاته فسمعته يناجي رَبَّه وهو يقول : « اللّهُمَّ يا مَنْ خَصَّنا بالْكَرامَةِ؛ وَوَعَدَنا بالشَّفاعَةِ؛ وَخَصَّنا بالوَصيَّةِ؛ وأعْطانا عِلمَ ما مَضى وعِلْمَ ما بَقيَ؛ وَجَعَلَ أفْئدَةً مِنَ النّاسً تَهْوِي إلَيْنا ، اغْفِرْ لي ولإخْواني وَزُوَّارِ قَبر أبي الحسين ، الَّذين أنْفَقُوا أمْوالَهُمْ وَأشخَصُوا أبْدانَهم رَغْبَةً في بِرِّنا ، وَرَجاءً لِما عِنْدَكَ في صِلَتِنا ، وسُروراً أَدْخَلُوهُ عَلى نَبِيِّكَ ، وَإجابَةً مِنهُمْ لأمْرِنا ، وَغَيظاً أدْخَلُوهُ عَلى عَدُوِّنا ، أرادُوا بذلِكَ رِضاكَ ، فَكافِئْهُمْ عَنّا بالرِّضْوانِ ، واكْلأهُم باللَّيلِ وَالنَّهارِ ، واخْلُفْ عَلىُ أهالِيهم وأولادِهِمُ الَّذين خُلِّفوا بأحْسَنِ الخَلَفِ وأصحبهم ، وَأكْفِهِمْ شَرَّ كلِّ جَبّارٍ عَنيدٍ؛ وَكُلّ ضَعيفٍ مِنْ خَلْقِكَ وَشَديدٍ ، وَشَرَّ شَياطِينِ الإنْسِ وَالجِنِّ ، وَأعْطِهِم أفْضَلَ ما أمَّلُوا مِنْكَ في غُرْبَتِهم عَنْ أوْطانِهِم ، وَما آثَرُونا بِهِ عَلى أبْنائهم وأهاليهم وقَراباتِهم ،
اللّهُمَّ إنَّ أعْداءَنا عابُوا عَلَيهم بخُروجهم ، فَلم يَنْهِهم ذلِكَ عَنِ الشُّخوصِ إلينا خِلافاً مِنْهم عَلى مَنْ خالَفَنا ، فارْحَم تِلْكَ الْوُجُوهَ الَّتي غَيَّرتها الشَّمْسُ ، وَارْحَم تِلكَ الخدُودَ الَّتي تَتَقَلّبُ على حُفْرَةِ أبي عَبدِاللهِ الحسينِ عليه‌السلام ، وَارْحَم تِلكَ الأعْيُنَ الَّتي جَرَتْ دُمُوعُها رَحمةً لَنا ، وارْحَم تِلْكَ الْقُلُوبَ الَّتي جَزَعَتْ واحْتَرقَتْ لَنا ، وارْحَم تِلكَ الصَّرْخَةَ الَّتي كانَتْ لَنا ، اللّهمَّ إني اسْتَودِعُكَ تِلْكَ الأبْدانَ وَتِلكَ الأنفُسَ حتّى تَرْويهمْ عَلى الحَوضِ يَومَ العَطَشِ [الأكبر] » :
فما زال يدعو عليه‌السلام وهو ساجدٌ بهذا الدُّعاء ، فلمّا انصرف قلت : جُعِلتُ فِداك لو أنَّ هذا الَّذي سَمعتُ منك كان لِمن لا يَعرفُ اللهَ عزَّوجَلَّ لَظننتُ أنَّ النّار لا تطعم منه شَيئاً أبداً!! والله لقد تمنَّيتُ أنّي كنتُ زُرْتُه ولم أحُجَّ ، فقال لي : ما أقربك منه؛ فما الَّذي يمنعك مِن زيارته؟ ثمَّ قال : يا معاويةُ لَم تدع ذلك ، قلت : جُعلتُ فِداك لَم أرَ أنَّ الأمر يبلغ هذا كلّه؟ فقال : يا معاوية [و] مَن يدعو لزُوَّاره في السَّماء أكثر ممّن يدعو لهم في الأرض
http://www.marefateahlebait.com/husain-and-karbala/prayers-for-the-visitors-of-imam-husain

1. How about wear a hat, and underneath the hat you put small piece of kaffan cloth (that you cut from full size kaffan). At least we shall remember death all the the time. Those who remember death will not get attracted to anything that world can offer.
2. All put a turbah from Karbala in our shirt pocket. If Imam Hussain (as) showed struggle in Karbala. Due to respect to Imam Hussain (as), we show struggle where ever walk and whatever see.
It is just suggestions. I believe everyone must find way to control his/her ownself.

That sounds nice, in theory. Like I mentioned before, I am in no hurry for my sons to get married (the oldest is 15) and I would rather they stay unmarried till they are well established in their careers. That is my hope, but unlike most parents, I don't think of it as a wajibat for them.
If you take mutah out, then you are left with one alternative, permanent marriage in late 20s and celibacy from the time of baligh until then. The haram practiced amoung the non muslims is not an option for us.
So this might work for some, but probably few, and every parent hopes that their children are amoung the few. Does that sound realistic to you ? Since this is the current approach, how is it working out for the youth in our community ? Good ?
Are you (or anyone else on here) willing to go 'on the record' and say that this approach is working for the youth of the community ?
As my former boss used to say, 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result'

Only the new generation can change this by not passing on the bias to their children, even if they have the bias within themselves.
It's really fascinating the level of taboo mut'ah has reached - some muslim women are willing to date and be completely physical, but would be offended at the mention of "mut'ah". The belief that it's "prostitution" and only for very short-term sexual intercourse is too rampant.

Sometimes I feel like there is SO much to be done even on the individual level to better ourselves for the Imam (ajtfjs), it’s overwhelming. What are the small steps we should take daily to be better overall?

Yeah, which is why I said that we have no right to question someone's choice in life. I never said that everyone should enter into a mut'ah contact.
Again this is a Christian mentality, and you seem to be obsessed about virginity of Muslims rather than their relationship with Allah. I believe that sexual desires of human beings are very strong, and what do you say about about our youth who are addicted to porn and masurbation? You act like everything is alright.
Therefore don't judge others who feel mut'ah is a solution to their problems.
Mut'ah is not only a benefit to the man, It's a mutual thing. Why are you assuming that a woman who enters into mut'ah is being used? That's absurd reasoning.
When did I say it's wajib? Com'on!

Dear sister I remember reading you lived in Da7ieh, a place I know quite well -even though I do not reside there - hence my question, a rethoric one. You are not isolated from the rest of the country and throughout education courses, leisure trips, kids are bound to come into contact with the fasad we despise. Best thing IMO is to anticipate what to do when that happens because it will probably happen. B3id as shar.
What you did by «locking» channels and the Internet is by far the best thing parents can do to minimize risks though, I pray that your family stays away from all of this.

I think you are extrapolating too much from what Sayyed Muhammad Ridha Shirazi said. Giving respect to a mu'min, his status to be honored, and creating brotherly love between the mu'mineen is what he was getting at. It doesn't mean you have to agree with everything a certain shi'i scholar says. Sayyed Sistani and many other maraji' do not follow the manhaj of Sayyed Khomeini. There isn't dispute between Sayyed Sadiq Shirazi and Sayyed Sistani. You cannot blame someone for what their brother said. There is absolutely no evidence to back up the idea Hassan Allahyari is with shirazis, you are trying to weave a massive conspiracy but there just isn't anything to back it up.
I didn't criticize or praise Iran there, just that shi'ism doesn't revolve around it. It's a country with good and bad. I'm saying Sayyed Ammar and other mu'mineen do not have to agree with Sayyed Khomeini's political theory nor do they have to agree with the policies of the Iranian government.
I actually agree with Sayyed Ammar on Palestine. I see no reason why we should help Palestinians. They don't consider us to be Muslims, they will just backstab us like they have done to their other allies, and they were/are big supporters of Saddam. Jerusalem isn't important like Mecca for us, false equivalence. I think instead we need to focus on the wellbeing and welfare of mu'mineen like our oppressed hazara brothers and sisters, may Allah safeguard them.
I agree with the first part but disagree with what you said about the mu'min. The one who shows us iman (i.e. being an ithna ashari shia Muslim) we should treat him as a mu'min otherwise he doesn't have the status of a mu'min for us. The riwayat of ahlul bayt (as) seem pretty clear along with basically all of our fuqaha. That being said we should have the utmost akhlaq even towards a nasibi.

I have bipolar disorder and I was always a very calm, polite kid. Never got into trouble and never did the wrong thing. This family sounds like it’s parental issue in terms of how they raised their children that causes these behavioral issues and not bipolar disorder.
Bipolar people are not angrier, ruder, or prone to trouble than anyone else. Please don’t lump people with bipolar disorder as unstable. This causes great misconception about what the disorder actually is.

+1
I agree.
The most constructive thing to do in this situation is to have a petition to remove her videos from YouTube - they are very harmful. It triggers actions in people who have similar psychiatric conditions.
Eating disorders are very complex and have high co-morbidity rates (which means that they have other co-existing diagnosable mental health disorders) which further complicates the diagnosis, treatment plans and prognosis.
I did my internship in Adolescent Psychiatry. Patients are not forced into treatment; the patient units are not locked down. These complex psychiatric patients have to be ready and willing to commit to treatment. Otherwise, it just makes it worse.
This girl needs help but she needs to be accepting of help. Her videos quite possibly are validating her thoughts and actions (that is, they are harming her) - but the even greater harm is how they can influence others.

I am posting again in this thread. Anyone believes in Mandela effect? I recently discovered this and it makes so much sense to me. I remember few years ago, when Shia religion was so logical to me. Everything made sense and everyone was equal and it was easy to follow. But during the past few years, it seems like teachings have changed completely. This religion has become so hard to follow and all the devout followers are just evil, cruel people. I don't want to follow them and I don't want to become like them. I was so confused about if this is the same religion I was following for 30 years, when did it become so different? Now it all makes sense, I was in a parallel universe for 30 years, that universe was so much better filled with nice people and nice moral values where people were not so much obsessed with looks and they were not so complicated and twisted. I wish I could go back to that universe.