Former Hillary Clinton Intern Is Now An Adult Performer

What is it about the Clintons that attracts such sexually excitable interns? The hard-hitting journos over at TMZ “have learned” that current porn actress Sammie Spades was once an intern in the office of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (who was then a Senator). A community college student in Buffalo, New York at the time, young Sammie first met Clinton at a banquet and, taken with her combination of sharp pantsuits and political prowess, decided she wanted to be one of her interns. She then interned in her Buffalo office over the summer of 2006, where she did “miscellaneous office work” and dreamed of one day becoming an attorney and politician. Leslie Knope would’ve been proud.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go quite as planned, and Sammie “ran into money problems, abandoned politics…and claims having sex on tape was the best way to pay the bills.” First of all, what is this, 1995? Nobody has sex “on tape” anymore, except maybe Hugh Hefner, and that’s only because he doesn’t know how to work a digital video recorder. Second, I feel kind of bad for Sammie. Look how much happier she looks posing with Hillary Clinton than trying to do “sexyface” in a shiny blue bikini. She clearly should have stuck with politics. Darn this economy!

I’m guessing there’s more to her story than we’re getting here, but for the record, I think it’s nice that she’s so, um, well-rounded. (And I’m not talking about her appearance in White Bubble Butts #4). In addition to taking it in the ass, she enjoys watching C-Span and voting! Personally, I think it kind of sucks that people are not allowed to hit a rough and/or horny patch, film some hot smut, and then continue on their chosen path in life, assuming that chosen path involves wearing a suit. I’m not saying we should elect an entire Senate of porn stars (fan fic alert!), but shouldn’t we look for this kind of empathy-building life experience in those we elect to represent us? Or maybe politics is an unrealistic goal, but if we could just stop stigmatizing adult performers so much, it might help the ones who want to get out of the business find success in other areas. I doubt she wants to touch this story with a ten-foot pole, but I’m guessing Hillary quietly agrees.