Precautions must be taken not only to protect operations from exposure to
enemy forces but also to conceal these activities from the American public in
general. The knowledge that the Agency is engaging in unethical and illicit
activities would have serious repercussions in political and diplomatic circles
and would be detrimental to the accomplishment of its mission.

CIA Inspector General in Assessing the Benefits of Mind Control Research

What I hope to leave you with today is a more open and questioning mind—one
that allows you to look at the unbelievable and know that reality can still
exist within that framework. By sharing my personal story combined with
documented facts, I hope to alter your world view.

Robert Kennedy said,

"It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history
is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot
of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of
hope and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and
daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of
oppression and resistance."

It is for just such a reason that I wrote this book, "A Nation Betrayed and
devote a portion of my life to advocacy. By exposing the misuse of power that
took place during the Cold War, I am giving countless survivors a voice.

I believe the political situation that existed in the 50's and 60's--the
paranoia surrounding anti-communism—was a key factor in allowing human rights
violations. After our use of the atomic bomb in Hiroshima the Soviets detonated
their own test bomb in 1949. Many Americans believed the USSR was intent on
conquering us. The powers-that-be used this fear of obliteration to give
them unlimited financial resources and the power of secrecy ("national
security") to "fight communism."

Combine that with the importation into the U.S of nazi doctors and scientists
who participated in biological and chemical research experiments during WW2 and
you have a deadly mixture. The Army's Chemical Corps at Edgewood Arsenal in
Maryland ended up conducting experiments on more than 7000 American soldiers,
using Auschwitz documents as a guide.

In 1954 its Medical Research Laboratory was staffed with an abundance of
highly qualified personnel. 130 enlisted scientific and professional
personnel and 117 civilian employees including numerous Ph.D.s and MDs from
such leading universities as: Harvard Medical College, University of Munich,
University of Pennsylvania, Johns Hopkins University, Princeton University,
Cambridge, Duke, University of Berlin, Columbia, Cornell, and Stanford. In
addition to its own select staff, the Medical Laboratories had continuous imput
from the private sector of medical research in the form of contractual
arrangements, chemical and medical advisory councils, industrial liaison, and
published literature.

In 1994 a Congressional subcommittee revealed that up to 500,000 Americans
were endangered by secret defense related tests between 1940 and 1974. They
included covert experiments with radioactive materials, mustard gas, LSD, and
biological agents.

Today's climate of terrorism since the 9/11 attacks and the death of 3000
people has fostered the "Patriot Act." "Terrorism" has replaced "communism" as
the menace. The American public now seems to be willing to give up many of
the rights their forefathers fought for because of this fear of terrorism. I
hope by presenting my story--what I experienced in my childhood--you will
understand the horror of allowing history to repeat itself. We cannot allow
Fear to be used as a tool to manipulate us.

I am a survivor of mind control experiments performed under the CIA's
MKULTRA program. MKULTRA was established in 1953 to counter soviet and Chinese
advances in brainwashing and interrogation techniques and consisted of 149
subprojects contracted out to at least 80 institutions including hospitals and
Universities. In 1977 Director of Intelligence Stansfield Turner said the
program was initiated because the Agency was confronted with "learning the state
of the art of behavioral modification at a time when the U.S. Government was
concerned about inexplicable behavior of persons behind the 'iron curtain' and
American prisoners of war who had been subjected to so called brainwashing."

Now for some of my background. I have DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder
that used to be known as multiple personality disorder. The media has sometimes
portrayed multiples in such a way that we seem either crazy, homicidal or sex
fiends. I can assure you that I am none of those things. My head will not fly
around backwards while I'm talking nor will horns sprout. You may find though,
that some of the material I present is very difficult to listen to. If you need
to leave to take care of yourself and the feelings that this material arouses, I
will understand.

In my family pedophilia was passed down from generation to generation. I was
a baby in diapers when my father first started to sexually abuse me. It was at
the age of two that my mind felt the need to create my first personality or
alter, as I will refer to them, in order to handle the trauma from the continued
abuse by him and other family members. Creating an alter also creates an
amnesiac barrier--totally separating these experiences from my conscious
recall. Emigrating from Europe and hidden behind Catholicism, my family also
brought their occult practices. Before my third birthday the trauma from a
Satanic Ritual Cult initiation forced another alter to be created.

From that point on it became standard operating procedure. Disassociation
had become a way of life for me to cope with severe and prolonged abuse. I had
no control over it. It was my mind's way of allowing me to stay sane when
everything around me was totally insane and out of control.

My alters hid a good deal of my past from me until 12 years ago. Most
survivors of abuse are deprived of normal human relationships during their
childhood. It tends to make us isolate, withdraw, and seek only the company of
those we know, not those who will help us see what "Normal" really is. It was
not until after my father died that some parts of me—my alters or personas were
set free to begin the healing process.

Before my memories returned--before the amnesiac barrier was broken down, I
was married to an emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive man not unlike
my dad. After 18 years and three children, I was able to finally break free
from that relationship. A high profile management job, which consumed most of
my time and energy, left little time for anything other than survival. Survival
was what I was accustomed to.

Fortunately in 1987, I met and married the man who has supported me
through my very difficult healing journey. It was only after 4 years of
marriage to him I felt safe and accepted for the first time in my life. My
unconscious allowed my long held secrets to begin to surface through
flashbacks, abreactions, and body memories. I went into full blown post
traumatic stress disorder just like returning servicemen or women who experience
the horrors of war and may find themselves triggered by something ordinary in
their day to day lives. Many of them would flashback and find themselves on the
battlefield again, not sitting in their living room with their family. This
same type of thing happens with multiples when they begin to become cognizant of
their experiences.

An abreaction goes something like this. The brain is somewhat like a
phonograph record, it records the original happening. With Dissociative
Identity Disorder, amnesia is created for the traumatic incident to save the
young child's sanity. When the amnesiac barriers are removed, it is like
putting the needle back on the track of the record where the original memory is
stored. It is replayed just as it happened.

The nature of my memories include incest, ritual abuse and government
experimentation. How does one understand and talk about the horrors of growing
up in an intergenerational cult let alone being drafted into service by our
government as a child guinea pig?

As those first horrible memories returned, I asked myself many things. How
could I have people living inside my body? How could many of the things I
remembered have happened and how could I possibly understand it? It seemed I
had no choice if I was to understand and cope with life as a multiple but to
seek help.

Through therapy with a qualified professional I encountered the first
horrible discovery every multiple finds—their whole life was a lie. At least
what they thought their life was. How do you accept the lies—the betrayal—the
total breakdown in your reality? I knew I was crazy--I had to be. Fortunately
that wasn't the case and by piecing together the puzzle of my life--by allowing
each individual alter to tell their story I began to heal. From the beginning
my therapist encouraged me to journal. Throughout the week I allowed my alters
to write and draw the details of their abuse. I simply sat down and allowed
control to whoever needed to talk. This was the beginning of one of the major
things I found necessary to heal—Finding MY Voice. Finding the Voice that was
taken away from me as a child allowed me to break through the barriers within
and reach out to those parts that held the truth of their lifelong experiences.
The other thing it allowed me to do was Validate my experiences.

In those early days as the bits and pieces of my life were expressed on the
pages of my journal I was afraid all of the time—24-7. I was flooded with
memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. Fear was my number one major obstacle to
overcome before any real work could be done. I was afraid of remembering and I
was afraid not to remember. I was afraid the cult would somehow know I was
talking and send someone to exterminate me. I was afraid the memories were
really true. I was afraid I was a liar and for some reason making it all up. I
eventually came to accept and know that no matter what; I had already lived
through the worst. Remembering, understanding, feeling and incorporating those
experiences was the pathway I walked to slowly integrate my alters.

Fear consumed me until I finally let go and allowed the details of my life to
flow from my mind to the paper and then in therapy through my mouth. I found
that letting my alters finally have a voice and speak the truth was the only way
through the fear. My alters found painting and drawing to be a perfect
expression for getting scenes recorded-- peoples faces, places, buildings,
ceremonies. I never knew what was going to be painted or drawn, I just gave my
alters free reign. Years later when I actually was able to match real people
and places with these, the validation was overwhelmingly powerful and helped me
to understand what truly happened to me.

I think it is important to document for you the clear pattern of
experimentation on children that existed throughout the time I was part of the
governments mind control experiments.

Fernald School-Young
male children who were institutionalized at the Fernald School in Massachusetts
were fed radioactive cereal in the 1940s and 1950s.

The parents as well as the children were simply told they were being fed a
diet rich in iron. According to oral testimony given before the President's
Advisory Committee on Human Radiation, they were told they belonged to the
Science Club to make them feel special and then taken to the MIT Faculty Club
where it was easier to control them. One researcher said, "It would be nice to
do something for them because these kids have been involved, we've had to jab
them [with needles], and they had to eat a meal—every little drop of it, because
you wanted to be sure they got 100 percent of the radioactivity—wouldn't it be
nice to do something for them?"

Willowbrook State School-Dr. Saul Krugman of New York University conducted
studies of hepatitis during the 1950s and 1960s on the severely mentally
retarded .

He systematically infected newly arrived children between the ages of three
and eleven with strains of the virus obtained from the feces of Willowbrook
hepatitis patients. This was done to study the natural history, effects, and
progression of the disease. Franz Inglefinger, who later became the editor of
the New England Journal of Medicine said, "By being allowed to participate in
a carefully supervised study and by receiving the most expert attention
available for a disease of basically unknown nature, the patients themselves
benefited . . . How much better to have a patient with hepatitis accidentally or
deliberately acquired under the guidance of a Krugman, than under the care of a
rights-minded zealot."

Nasal Radium Irradiation - 1948-54

582 third graders in the Baltimore public schools were part of a 1948-1954
experiment conducted by Johns Hopkins to test the effects of Nasal Radium
Irradiation. No medical notice or follow-up action was taken by the federal
government, despite an earlier determination that these children had the
greatest cancer mortality risk of any experiment it examined for which people
were still alive and might benefit from medical notice and follow-up.

Vanderbilt University Hospital - 1945-49 at Prenatal Clinic

At Vanderbilt-829 women were told to drink something that would be good for
their fetuses. The drinks actually contained varying amounts of radioactive
iron. Within an hour, the material crossed the placenta and began circulating
in the blood of their unborn fetuses.“ In a study done in the sixties,
scientists discovered four fatal malignancies among the children exposed to
prenatal radiation and no cancers in the non-exposed group.

D.C. Children’s Center in Laurel in a section called the District Training
School 60’s-Retarded children were used as human guinea pigs for both private
industry and the government.

Among the experiments, was the testing of NeoBazine a diet pill commonly
referred to as "rainbow pills." They contained thyroxin, which caused tremors,
nervousness, insomnia, and tachycardia. It was being tested for its safety and
efficiency. In October 1964 the FDA found that the drug was not safe for use.
In 1962 the children were again used to test a drug for skin diseases, which
doctors strongly suspected caused serious side effects to the human liver. More
than half the children tested suffered some liver dysfunction. Eight were
admitted to D.C. General Hospital for intensive care. That same year, 17 Laurel
Center children were used to study thyroid hormone metabolism in children. The
children were injected with thyroxin mixed with radioactive iodine to aid
doctors in tracing a body process.

As you can see, there was a clear pattern of using innocent children who had
no way of protecting themselves.

Peter Lewis, who had biomedical experiments performed on him received proof
after the death of his adoptive father who had served in Army Medical Research.
Peter and his sister Carol were adopted from Germany in the early 50's. His
adoptive mother told him he was bought for $1000 and that the army owned him.
They even gave him dog tags. According to Peter his adoptive father told her,
"He's your project." Peter also wrote she admitted to putting a substance from
Walter Reed doctors in their breakfast cereal and when they wouldn't eat it
because of the taste they were beaten unmercifully. There were occasions when
his arms and thighs were covered with very painful boils. I wonder if this
wasn't from Radiation poisoning like at Fernald School for the mentally retarded
where they fed them radioactive cereal. Peter's mom said "I did my duty."

She reportedly gave Peter pills from Walter Reed that caused hallucinations
and nightmares. Since LSD was part of the MKULTRA experiments, I am assuming
this is probably what the substance was. I guess when we look at the case of
the four New Jersey children who hit headlines last week; we understand anything
is possible especially when you use the words "It's good for National
Security." The New Jersey children were alleged to have been systematically
starved by their adoptive parents while the system stood by and did nothing.

Peter said, "My understanding is the sole purpose of adoption of me was for
experiments. We have documents and hospital papers for much of this to back
this up. Since my dad died, we were able to go through all the papers and find
documents, papers, and photographs. These are military photographs he was
ordered to destroy, but he brought some home and didn't destroy everything."

Peter has a Picture of himself and other Boy Scouts at Walter Reed in 1958
where radioactive experiments were done. In 2000 Peter told me about some of
the experiments including a number of bone biopsy's done after he drank
radioactive material. He called them Gamma Radiation Experiments. He says they
used numbers instead of names to identify him, which is what I too
remember—being given a number. Isn't that what they used in the concentration
camps?

Peter said they did so many bone biopsies on him that people started asking
questions, so they tried to deem him retarded. His IQ is 128. I guess that
speaks for itself. His sister, Carol died with Brain cancer from the
radiation. The doctor found a crust on her brain and told her she had it for
20, 25 years--at the time the radiation experiments were done.

It is not hard to understand how devastating it would be to learn that you
had been adopted for the sole purpose of being a human guinea pig.

Karen Coleman Wiltshire, another survivor, helped Peter with some of his FOIA
requests to the government. She attended several public forums with the
Department of Defense as a representative of ACHES (Advocacy Committee for Human
Experimentation Survivors) and was outspoken on behalf of survivors on each
occasion. She too, was one of the very few who was able to obtain her medical
files from John Hopkins proving her experimentation.

Karen's father worked for the Applied Physics Lab at Johns Hopkins. She
obtained her files through sheer persistence, help from the almighty, and a
mistake by a clerk who was not supposed to give the information out. Karen
told me they transported her to Washington, Maryland and Virginia, to military
and government labs by private ambulances, military cars, and yellow school
buses. She said her experiments took place from 1961 through 1970. Karen
related to me that she was kept in the Harriet Lane Home for Invalid Children at
John Hopkins where there were wards of children. Her parents had been told she
was being treated for a heart defect. She said when they would come to visit,
she would be put in a private room with her belongings in order for it to appear
as though she had been there all along. When her parents left, they returned
her to the ward where she said they did LSD, ECT, and other strange
experiments. One of these she explained was to be trained to eliminate emotions
and feelings by using assorted torture and other techniques. This sounds very
much like the mind control technique used on me by the CIA and other branches of
the government.

This is a copy of the consent form for Karen's transportation to Walter Reed
Medical Center in Washington D.C. It says in part, "I understand that the above
patient, being a patient in the Pediatric Clinical Research Unit is
participating in a research program requiring her presence at Walter Reed Army
Medical Center and that a series of visits to Walter Reed Army Medical Center is
necessary to complete such a program."

Karen was responsible for spurring me on to obtain information through FOIA
requests that would help me validate my memories. She was always banging on
doors, persistent to get the truth out, especially when she found out there were
so many other kids who were used as human guinea pigs. The Department of Energy
had told her she was the only one, but she said that Pentagon sources had
personally told her they "didn't want our stories out at any cost. The plan was
to pay off a few token victims and blow the rest off." Karen did not live to
see any of us receive validation or vindication.

On April 5, 1999 Karen made a presentation on behalf of ACHES entitled ETHICS
before the National Institute of Health's' Bioethics Group. She died on April
23, 1999 after doing exhaustive investigation of DOD experiments on human
beings. More and more child survivors are coming forward. I receive emails
weekly from them and their doctors, more than two years after my books release.
They are looking for information and validation for the memories and trauma they
are remembering. Some just want to say thanks. Until reading my book they
thought they were alone and crazy.

Now that I have established a clear pattern of children being used as human
guinea pigs, I would like to share with you my own search for the truth.

I did not start breaking through the government programming until I brought a
lot of stability into my life where I was moving from focusing on the trauma of
my childhood to living in the here and now. I learned to stay grounded and
centered and leave the old coping techniques of dissociation behind. When I
began to find these alters who had been programmed and experimented on by men
employed by our government, I began a brand new journey. My book details that
journey. As a survivor of CIA program MKULTRA, I began my intense search to
document some of the mind control experiments that I became part of, starting at
the tender age of four.

Through a series of FOIA requests to various departments of the government,
and exhaustive research, I have amassed an incredible amount of material that I
feel validates my personal experiences. The CIA bought my services from my
grandfather in 1952. He loaded me up with my little suitcase while my mom was
giving birth to my younger sister. On that day I was driven to Detroit where I
boarded an aircraft to New York to a facility funded by the CIA to do covert
experiments. My first plane ride ended in a nightmare that was to haunt me for
the next 45 years.

Over the next twelve years, I was tested, trained, and used in various ways.
All the programming that was done to me by the CIA was to split my personality
making me a compliant slave. It was Trauma based using things like
electroshock, sensory deprivation, and drugs. Later the trauma wasn't
necessary, only hypnosis accomplished with implanted triggers and occasional
tune-ups that took place at Wright Patterson Air Force Base not far from my
home.

I became a human experiment-- part of their search for a way to take control
of a man's mind. During the course of these
experiments they created alters to do their bidding--Manchurian Candidates is an
appropriate term.

In a document dated November 21, 1951 approximately 7 months before I was
first experimented on, the CIA proposed a three to five year outside research
project to search for exceptionally gifted individuals who could obtain both
perfect and scattered ESP test performance. Since I displayed psychic
abilities, they trained an alter to use these abilities in a way they hoped
would benefit the agency.

The CIA made sure that this project would never be made known. The document
says,

"It would be necessary to be exceedingly careful about thorough cloaking of
the undertaking. I would not want anyone here in the deleted except deleted and
myself to know about it . . . Funds necessary for the support of the work would
carry no identification and raise no questions."

Here we clearly see the compartmentalization and secrecy used for these
experiments.

In his book Bluebird: Deliberate Creation of Multiple Personality by
Psychiatrists, Dr. Colin Ross documents those doctors who were working under
MKULTRA government contracts for the specific purposes of breaking the mind and
rebuilding it. These doctors, and I use that term loosely, were looking for
children who had the ability to disassociate from reality for their projects.
I fit the bill.

A very poignant declassified document from 1954 says,

" Practical - Not theoretical research be conducted and carried out.
The nature of this research to include 20 specific problems."

Here are a few: SI - Sleep Induction. H stands for Hypnosis

2. Can we in a matter of an hour, two hours, one day, etc., induce an
H condition in an unwilling subject to such an extent that he will perform an
act for our benefit? (Long range).

4. Could we seize a subject and in the space of an hour or two by
post-H control have him crash an airplane, wreck a train, etc.? (Short,
immediate activity)

5. Can we by SI and H techniques force a subject (unwilling or
otherwise) to travel long distances, commit specified acts and return to us or
bring documents or materials? Can a person acting under post-H control
successfully travel long distances?

7. Can we guarantee total amnesia under any and all conditions?

8. Can we "alter" a person's Personality? How long will it hold?

10. Can we detect SI and H by use of SI and H (regression)?

12. Can we devise a system for making unwilling subjects into willing
agents and then transfer that control to untrained agency agents in the field by
use of codes or identifying signs or credentials?

13. How long can we sustain a post-H suggestion-unaided-with
reinforcement?

20. Can we, while a subject is under SI and H control, show them a map
and have them point out specific items, locations, etc., on the map? Can we
also have them make detailed drawings, sketches, plans? Could any of the above
be done under field conditions and in a very short space of time?

Another CIA Document from 1951 says “Our work and the work of others indicate
that there is a strong possibility that total amnesia or an almost total amnesia
will follow the use of our technique as a general rule.”

Many of the experiments performed on me were done to heighten and use ESP,
Remote Viewing, and the energy of the mind. The alters created within me for
use by our government were of several different types. One was trained to use
the " RED FIRE." The Red Fire was the energy I stored away during trauma, the
hatred and fear that accumulated over the years each time I was assaulted,
experimented on etc. I was taught how to access this energy and use it to
psychically kill. If you think this psychic killing sounds far fetched you may
be interested to know that back in the Sixties, the Soviet Union began to pour
money and resources into the study of ESP and psycho kinesis, phenomena
collectively termed "psi" by researchers in the field. Much of this psi
research came under the control of the Soviet military and KGB. They also
screened Red Army recruits for psychic abilities, and pumped talented subjects
full of dangerous drugs to promote psi-conducive altered states. Subjects in
psycho kinesis or "remote-influencing" experiments tried to stop the hearts of
small animals, or concentrated on foreign political leaders, beaming at them
"negative psi particles."

Soviet and Czech scientists were said to be working on electromagnetic
devices that would cause strokes or heart attacks, and it was even rumored that
they had perfected a "psychotronic generator", which could scramble people's
minds at great distances.

An unclassified 1972 Defense Intelligence Agency report expressed concerns
that "Soviet efforts in the field of psi research, sooner or later, might enable
them to do some of the following,"

(a) Know the contents of top secret US documents, the movements of our
troops and ships and the location and nature of our military installations
(b) Mould the thoughts of key US military and civilian leaders at a distance
(c) Cause the instant death of any US official at a distance
(d) Disable, at a distance, US military equipment of all types, including
spacecraft."

All I can say is that we may not have all the declassified documents on what
the U.S was working on, but we can be sure they were doing tit for tat what
their Russian counterparts were, only a lot of it was being done on small
children.

One of my child alters was trained sexually in order to compromise men of
power so they could be blackmailed at a later date. Another was created and
told it was a robot to store information. Many survivors speak of similar types
of programming.

Alpha is general programming within the control personality.

Beta is sexual programming, i.e. child pornography, prostitution, and sexual
training used for the benefit of a handler for blackmail or personal use. This
programming eliminates all learned moral conviction from the survivor, so that
the function can be carried out without inhibition.

Delta is a trained killer, a sleeping assassin. Delta survivors feel no fear
and have been trained in the use of specialized arms and alternative methods of
disposal. Sirhan Sirhan had total amnesia of the killing of Robert Kennedy, but
under hypnosis remembered it. Mr. Sirhan's lawyer says his client was
programmed to kill Kennedy by government agents who wanted to prolong the
Vietnam War.

Theta is psychic killing, such as the training I was involved in. Most
survivors with Theta programming exhibit an unusually high level of ESP in their
day-to-day lives. Many even train in alternative methods of healing before they
discover the theta programming. It seems to be a way for the dominant
personality to use their energy in a positive healing manner, thereby
compensating for the negative uses of this same energy.

Omega is self-destruct programming installed in the event a survivor would
start remembering. It was used to prevent them from going public. There
generally is self destruct programming associated with Delta assassin
programming if the survivor is captured.

One survivor recently wrote to me saying, “Such Events and people were
horrific to remember. There is no public awareness so there is no one to go to
with your memories and, when your government is your enemy you certainly feel
you must keep the memories inside.”

Books written by survivors of these programs recount the horrors they were
forced to endure during their training. Many of these survivors have worked
through their memories, dealt with their programming and are free from such
triggering. How many are still "Sleeping," awaiting the call of their handlers?

One study done in secrecy for ten years became the foundation for the ESP
experiments under MKULTRA Subproject 136. One of the documents specifically
stated that "experimental studies of a few specially gifted subjects would be
conducted and that special attention will be given to disassociative states
which tend to accompany spontaneous ESP experiences. Such states can be induced
and controlled to some extent with hypnosis and drugs . . . The data used in the
study will be obtained from special groups such as psychotics, children and
mediums . . ."

The document continues by saying , "Learning studies will be instituted in
which the subject will be rewarded or punished for his overall performance and
reinforced in various ways by being told whether he was right, by being told
what the target was, with electric shock etc." The proposal then goes on to
say, "In other cases drugs and psychological tricks will be used to modify his
attitudes. The experimenters will be particularly interested in disassociative
states, and an attempt will be made to induce a number of states of this kind,
using hypnosis."

My heart practically stood still the day that I read this. It described
perfectly what I had remembered and journaled when I was taken in 1952 at four
years of age from my grandfathers home.

During the first few days of my experiments, they used truth serum as well as
electric shock to identify alters currently residing within me. They used
visualization techniques to create alters for their own nefarious purposes.
Later I used the same techniques to undo their programming.

The infinity sign or number eight on its side had been used to separate two
lands in my body where alters were held. One side of my body contained
Neverland and the other side contained Shadowland. My baby alter, who was
preverbal was stuck in Neverland where she never grew up, just like Peter Pan.

Sid
Gottlieb, Directorate of Operations of the Technical Services Staff (TSS) of CIA
in charge of their behavioral program through MKULTRA would bottle feed and hold
this part and bond the baby part to him setting up an internal dichotomy where I
thought I depended on him for nourishment--food, drink, love etc.

Baby and the alter that was sent to Shadowland were told they would have
eternal life if the alter in Shadowland
carried out the missions he was given. This part had psychic abilities and was
trained to use the "Red Fire" to cause strokes & aneurysms in "targets." Anyway
as you can see one land held the baby and another the
alter with the "violence." The programmers had codes to access the baby part,
and you had to go through in that order, Baby first than the codes to access the
alter who used the red fire. It was a brilliant system to be sure as the Baby
was totally hooked using "Maslows Theory" to these programmers and if the body
was caught their was no way they would ever get to the part that was used for
missions. The infinity symbol was drawn on a black board and reinforced
repeatedly through hypnosis until all the systems were locked down tight. I
hope this makes sense.

No matter what experiment he was to make me a part of, I would love and
remain loyal to the man who my baby alter considered sole supplier of the basics
of life, food and love.) When he died in 1999, my programming immediately
started to deteriorate. It was very difficult to manage and allow the opposing
feelings of love and hate for this man. Part of me loved him as a father and
other parts of me felt hatred and contempt.

When I was 12, after being given a shot of curare I underwent sensory
deprivation in a box filled with snakes. Then the procedures you see depicted
took place at the Montreal Neurological Institute on McGill campus. McGill
Campus was also home to the Allen Memorial Institute of Psychiatry where CIA
funded Dr. Ewen Cameron performed mind control experiments on unsuspecting
Canadians. Several of his victims later sued the U.S. government and won after
an exhaustive court battle.

The reason I show this drawing is to show how a mind retains information
even through extreme trauma.

Prior to finding these pictures of actual machines I made this
drawing.

My drawing is of stereotaxic surgery being performed by Dr. Wilder Penfield
in Montreal Canada. A nurse who worked in Montreal recently approached me at a
conference I spoke at. She saw children regularly shuttled back and forth from
Allen Memorial Institute and Montreal Neurological institute in the 60's. The
parents of these children had given their consent to have sterotaxic surgery
because of their epilepsy. They were never told that their children's brains
would be mapped.

During the experiments on me electrodes were inserted into sleeve guides and
my brain was probed while someone in the room recorded what was being said. Dr.
Penfield told them my brain was like a tape recorder and he just needed to
take me back in time. He did this by touching different spots in my brain.
They kept recording the memories induced from images in my past and later Sid
Gottlieb used them for future programming sessions. Recently I discovered that
the Soviets during the 60's and the 70's found that by passing a low voltage
current from the front of the brain to the back, they could drop their remote
viewers into the Delta State. Using this artificial means they found Delta to
be the doorway to telepathic influencing, telekinesis and remote killing.

The adult survivors of these pictures from the Department of Energy
experiments done during the 50’s and 60’s have written to me. They both were
also used in other MKULTRA experiments. Even though the CIA denies using
children, these are clear-cut examples of a few of the remaining pieces of
evidence.

This is a Positron Emitter Detector, circa 1962. It is an early version of
the PET scan now in use. The PET scan produces images of how living brain cells
work collectively to retrieve memories and form words—in short the physics of
thinking.

My drawing shows how each alter was being programmed. Detectable energy
flashes were being picked up and a recording was made assuring the doctors that
they indeed were working with different parts of my personality, separate and
apart from the me that they would eventually reawaken.

During the 1980's, Stargate a remote viewing project was done at Ft. Meade,
using binaural beat tones that changed the brain waves through earphones. A
hemi-sync device that played two different frequencies into each ear was found
to produce altered states of consciousness. Perhaps the technology they used
was derived from these experiments done in the 60's on people like me.

Below is a portable ect unit which many survivors became intimately
acquainted with.

I'm sure you find it morally reprehensible and difficult to fathom how anyone
could even consider using children to investigate these possibilities. I am but
one of the many children who were the CIA's convenient experimental subjects.
As I reclaimed the power that was taken from me as a child, I learned that the
humiliation, guilt and degradation they heaped on my shoulders was theirs—not
mine.

Winston Churchill said,

"Most people occasionally stumble over the truth, but pick themselves up and
continue on as if nothing had ever happened."

Arthur Schopenhauer said,

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second it
is violently opposed. Third it is accepted as being self-evident."

The people who carried out these experiments believed our
programming would never break down, and if it did they counted on the insane
sounding nature of these experiments to totally discredit any survivors who
spoke the truth. What they could never foresee was the indomitable fighting
nature that perhaps they themselves had instilled. The need to find the truth
and expose it was much larger than the fear they used to control me.

I am not looking for notoriety, nor do I believe I'm special. I'm just one
of the many Cold War children who were convenient lab rats for a group of
despicable people. Time would not permit for my entire life history to be
repeated here nor could your stomachs handle it. There is information on people
involved in "The Shadow Government" and importation and usage of nazi's as well
as documentation on RADIATION, BIOLOGICAL and Chemical experiments in my book.
Ordering Information for A Nation
Betrayed

Without these declassified documents my story would sound like just another
piece of science fiction. In the three years it took me to write "A Nation
Betrayed" I walked through a trail of tears that I sometimes felt I would drown
in. The emotions of the hundreds of thousands of victims of this cold war
nightmare still haunt me. I hope this book will continue to speak for the
silent masses for decades to come. The truth can set us free!!!
Thank You!!!