Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Sarge: "Officer Clancy, would you please tell me what happened, step by step, in this incident?"
Clancy: "Well, I felt the call of nature, so I casually strolled into the nearest facility ..."
Sarge: "You had to go, so you went to the john?"
Clancy: "Well, uh, yeah."
Sarge: "This nature call: was it number 1 or number 2?"
Clancy: "Number 2. So anyways, I had to, uh, you know, drop my trousers. And my firearm accidently fell out of the holster."
Sarge: "Yeah? Didn't you snap it in securely?"
Clancy: "I guess I did, it's hard to remember. So anyways, when I was retrieving said firearm, it discharged, split off a piece of tile which flew into the leg of a pedestrian."
Sarge: "A pedestrian?! In the john?"
Clancy: "Well, we did stroll casually into the facility."

Sarge: "Officer Clancy, would you please tell me what happened, step by step, in this incident?"
Clancy: "Well, I felt the call of nature, so I casually strolled into the nearest facility ..."
Sarge: "You had to go, so you went to the john?"
Clancy: "Well, uh, yeah."
Sarge: "This nature call: was it number 1 or number 2?"
Clancy: "Number 2. So anyways, I had to, uh, you know, drop my trousers. And my firearm accidently fell out of the holster."
Sarge: "Yeah? Didn't you snap it in securely?"
Clancy: "I guess I did, it's hard to remember. So anyways, when I was retrieving said firearm, it discharged, split off a piece of tile which flew into the leg of a pedestrian."
Sarge: "A pedestrian?! In the john?"
Clancy: "Well, we did stroll casually into the facility."

♪Broken tile, empty gun, I know,
Gun shot echos in my ear all alone,
For that toilet stall by the Alamo,
And ooops my ooops of San Antone
And ooops my ooops of San Antone
And ooops
my ooops of San Antone♫

E. A. " Squatty" Lyons was county commissioner of Harris County (Houston) when he went into a stall in the county court house. The toilets were wall mounted. The key word being "were". No one laughed louder or longer than Squatty.

yo see it was the man
had to use the can
gun went off
and he shot another man
who was washin' his hands
he rinsed 'em and he wiped em'
threw the towel in the can
now he got stiches
and scratches where it itches
he can't hit the floor with his ho
or satisfy his bitches
and the government do nothin'
they all just huffin' puffin'
listen to the righteous word of
the mad mudstuffin
so when you got to go
think before you go
make sure the fool right next to you
ain't got no forty-fo'