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It’s funny but it’s not Samhain that means death to me, it’s February and March that do. Because of a peculiarity in our family people only seem to die on family members birthdays or near them. My Mom died on February 15 which is near her father’s birthday and before my brother’s birthday on February 26th. He died 2 days before her birthday of Lammas. My dad died on March 1st after my brother’s birthday and a month before his own on March 31. So from about half way through February to the end of March my Swedish depressive side wants to out itself. It helps this year that I have a new temp job and can focus on learning new things but it sneaks up in shoulder cramping and other ways my body tells me it knows even if I’m not paying attention.

I’m going to try to get outside every weekend and that will help some. But I will be glad when March leaves.

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The Ooga- boogas or please don’t run with scissors and some of Miss Kat’s pet peeves that you must not do.There are a lot of things in the wider word that masquerade under the mantle of the occult. There are things out there that you should not mess with. You could get badly hurt. These are things many experienced witches run from, do you really think you are good enough to handle them? You will be lucky if all you do is make a spectacle of yourself. Literally.

One of these things is a ouija board. People think when they play with a ouija board it is just a bit of fun, Wrong! What makes you think the spirit or entity you have called to play has your best interests in mind? Aren’t you vain? Using a ouija board is the equivalent of making a crank call with * 69 engaged. Miss Kat tells her students they are playing “Dialing for Demons”. She has seen more people scared out of their wits because something or someone answered them and answered them correctly. A lot of people have run screaming back to the Church because they hit something evil or just scares the crap out of them. There are some things best left unknown for a reason. And how do you know you didn’t cause events to happen because you set them in motion from believing the stupid thing. Foolish mortal.

You could also get someone who is asleep and wandering the astral plane. Did you really need to disturb their rest? They may have been working on something. Miss Kat watched 3 counselors in training at her camp unintentionally call up their counselor on her day off. She told them quite clearly to “Go to bed”. Miss Kat about laughed herself off her bed watching them drop the board. Remember all time is now.

Another ooga- booga is the old “Somebody put a hex on me” nonsense. My, aren’t we important. It takes an incredible amount of energy to ill wish someone. To truly do put a hex on someone you have to keep it up day and night non-stop but if someone tells you they put one on you and you believe it (whether they actually did it or not) they don’t have to do have to do anything further. Why? Because you are then the one investing the energy to keep the hex alive. And if you go to a psychic or faith healer to have it removed or ask about it and you pay them to have it removed, or someone tells you that someone put a hex on you, well you know the saying about a fool and his money?

If you are truly ill wished the secret is salt, nothing more, no fancy spell, no big ceremony, just salt and maybe a good house cleaning. But ask yourself this, what did you do to cause this alleged hex? Hmmm? Were you mean to someone? Did you hurt someone? Cut someone off in traffic? Try to get ahead at work in a not nice way? Tell a lie about someone? Manipulate something or someone? Then, my dears, the Rule of Three is in action and you are getting your just desserts. The universe is enacting justice. Did you really think you would get away with it? And guess what, if you are new to the Craft you may get away with it once but the farther you get down the path the less you will get away with. You are supposed to know better.

Another thing, it could be is one of those lovely life lessons. What are you supposed to learn from this? Maybe the Goddess tried to teach it to you nicely and you went about your merry way and ignored her. She has a way of tapping you on the shoulder to teach you and when you don’t pay attention She gets the Louisville slugger out and hits you up the side of the head. This is why I keep a tiny Louisville slugger on my altar. Sometimes I don’t listen very well and I get hit. It is much better and less painful to listen the first time.

Another ooga-booga is going to Madame Whatserface, psychic to the Stars. She’s in a street front shop and immediately demands money. All you are going to get out of her is an empty wallet. If you really want guidance get your own cards out and learn to read. Find a reputable, emphasis on reputable, metaphysical shop and ask who they recommend. It shouldn’t cost you more than say 25 bucks for 15 minutes to a half hour depending on what part of the country you live in. OR find yourself a good pagan therapist. Do not ask Madame Whosits psychic network. Do not randomly email someone you found on WITCHVOX. Annoying people with, please remove the hex, or even please hex my boyfriend, spam will not endear you to the pagan community.

A pet peeve of Miss Kat’s is getting unknown yahoos who email or instant message her and demand her time and energy to solve their problems. Miss Kat even had a woman in Britain email her to snail mail a hex to her boyfriend!!!! Number one it’s just wrong and number two what energy and money but her’s was supposed to make this happen?

When you ask for a reading online for free there is no energy being exchanged. Is that fair? Do you really think you get something for nothing? Laws of physics still apply and there must be energy exchanged or nature will fill the vacuum with anything handy. And do you know why witches ride brooms? It’s because Nature abhors a vacuum.

Miss Kat gets the weirdest email but the ones she hates the most are the ones that start “I had a vision ( dream, or great Whosits appeared to me) that I have been given great magickal powers and I must learn to use them for good.” Bah Humbug! You have been watching movies too long and need to come out of the dark. The magickal world does not work this way unless you are on uncontrolled substances. You can’t fly either.

This is not the same as having a god or goddess appear in your dreams. Those dreams usually are true and contain an agreement or ritual between you. These dreams often don’t feel like dreams but feel like they are real and contain sensory input from all your senses. Those should be kept secret for the most part. Those are initiation dreams. The letters Miss Kat is talking about are usually in lower case letters or they look like a ransom note. Sorry people but one great magickal power is spell check.

Miss Kat always hopes these are from some misguided, self-centered teenagers but one can’t always tell. Life is not an episode of the “Charmed” ones. We are all given the same great magickal power and it is a very simple one – LOVE. That is the only great magickal power worth messing with. It makes us and our families grow. It makes the planet turn and it stops wars and feeds the hungry. If you’ve got a bigger one than that Miss Kat doesn’t want to know about it. Your great power is probably from eating a chili cheese dog and a hot fudge sundae before bed.

Another type of email Miss Kat gets is the “I’ve decided I’m a witch. You must teach me”. No, Miss Kat mustn’t. These letters are usually but not always followed with some dire threat of what will happen if Miss Kat doesn’t. Buy books and find a teacher in you area and better yet wait until your 18 and out of your parent’s house.

Chain letters, Argghhhh!. Email or snail mail or left on your desk at work. These are the worst kind of black magic and should not be forwarded. Even the most benign “something” good will happen are black mail. Even the 10 good things will happen to you today ones. They contain a veiled or not so veiled threat of some evil thing happening if you don’t pass it on. NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN. These stupid things are extortion and benefit no one. Except maybe the loon who got his or her jollies starting the stupid thing. If Miss Kat could figure out away around the Rule of Three for these people, telemarketers and spam mailers she would. She believes they come from the same evil dimension because they suck your energy out the same way. How many household injuries happen as you race out of the shower, trip over the cat and stub your toe to get an expected important call and it’s an idiot saying you have been chosen to get free satellite TV?

The first thing you must do is check in. They need to know if you are there and where you are camping in case of emergency. And if the people running the event have done this before they may make you park facing out and leave your keys with Check in. This is in case of having to move people out in an emergency.

Note to those running an event: if you decide to run a workshop on orienteering or a treasure hunt involving a compass, do not run it through the parking lot. A car’s engine makes the needles disoriented and all cars are north.

Now get a program of events and settle down in your nicely set up campsite to pick your workshops. Go to something new that you haven’t tried before. Have fun at the rituals.

Have fun! Make new friends! Be tolerant of others. There are many, many different flavors of pagans here. Don’t laugh at the Klingon bridal party. There may be all kinds of special rituals such as handfastings or wiccanings. If you are invited go and participate. Find out what Asatru is about. Explore different pantheons of deities.

If there are vendors, support them. It is always nice to go home with something handmade with love by another pagan. There are very few pagan shopping malls.

The same rules apply as for going to your first public ritual so maybe re-read those chapters.

And when its time to go, leave the place cleaner than you found it. If necessary take you trash home with you to dispose of it.
If you had a really good time volunteer your time to put on the next one. Thus insuring there is a next one.