Hillary celebrates primaries sweep by eating bowl of gravel

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — Amid jubilant cheers and cries for her to deliver a speech in the wake of her victories in four state primaries on Tuesday, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared on a stage in front of thousands of supporters and ate a bowl of gravel.

The former senator and secretary of state sat for several minutes looking out at the crowd as cheers died down in expectation of the candidate’s proclamations. Instead, she spooned gravel from a bowl into her mouth and leaned into the microphone so that everyone could hear her effective, strong mastication.

When one supporter whooped and shouted “let’s celebrate,” Clinton gave a signal to a member of the security staff who tased the perplexed woman and escorted her out.

After a grueling 20 minutes in which the only sounds were those of the Democratic frontrunner crushing small stones into pebbles, Clinton opened her mouth to reveal that several of her teeth had been broken and that her gums were bleeding, prompting one staffer to pass out.

“I am not displeased,” she finally said before handing the bowl and spoon to a Secret Service agent and disappearing off stage.

This is not the first time that a major candidate has accepted victory in such a stoic manner. In 2004, then-senator John Kerry celebrated his win over Democratic rival Howard Dean in the New Hampshire primary by going without shoes for a whole week. At the Republican National Convention in 1996, Republican nominee Bob Dole poured honey over his arms and ordered his campaign manager to cover them with fire ants.