Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

No God, Know Fear; Know God, No Fear

My beau's Mom sent me this (I read it, then read it again, and will continue to read it):

For most of my life I thought I was intellectually better than God. How dare you associate me with adhering to a religious denomination or any Higher Power of the sort. My God loved me and waited for me to be ready to embrace His love. My thought was corroded with only the Self. Lethal, rotton, I was being contaminated by my own mind. Today my story is otherwise.

todAAy i am thAAnkful & grAAteful:- for allowing the drink that almost killed me guide me to the embracing love of my God- that I can go to sleep with silence in the bedroom; that I no longer need to find ways to shut off those voices that polutte my soul- for the process no matter how difficult it may be; for the rewards during the process, they are subtle, but they are there- my animals, that when I walk in the door there they are, happy just cuz I am home (ok, maybe cuz it is dinner time too)- Trish and my Mom (and to see my mom smile yesterday, she is so beautiful)- Alice D and all she does- my beau and the laughter we share together each night (last night espicially, watching Dave Chappelle season 2, hehehehooohhaahahaa)- for that wonderful feeling that follows by showing an act ok kindness- cartoons and the music in the background; for ability to still hold the child in me (below, this is what's playing in the background as I post) . . . lookTab, anything familiar here? Heheheeh.