Researchers at NEC System technologies and Mie University have designed a cute little ‘bot that can “eat” samples of cheeses, meats, or wines and then identify what it has been fed.

But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto. Absolutely horrifying.

Apparently, all we need to do is build several thousand copies of this ‘bot, pass around some hedge trimmers and a Skynet-like global hive mind, and we’ll all be living in a cross between The Matrix and Bad Taste.