Honey and I ate a strawberry today that was so good, like it was sosugary and scrumptious, that we couldn’t even enjoy it for a second before jumping to conclusions about the strawberry being artificially flavored or genetically engineered to taste like that. ”Probably added sugar to it. Bastards,” said Honey. ”NO way is this naturally how a strawb (he calls them ‘strawbs’) would taste.” Look at how jaded we’re getting, you guys.

I shared this anecdote with you not as a cry for help, but as a message to couples everywhere: this is how hard it’s become to genuinely impress us with a thing.