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You are going about this all wrong. It's all about presentation. If you dress like a commoner, then you'll be treated like one. If you have the money, you have to present yourself in their pseudo level. Find some fund raisers, charity parties, or anything that requires money and an exclusive guestlist. Once you're in the same room with these higher end women, they will automatically associate you as one of them. Their pseudo level sort of speak. That should be your course of action if you want to date up. Otherwise, they will never look at you twice on the streets.

You are entirely correct. It's annoying the assumptions that people still make. can you really tell who someone is by observing them for a few minutes?

Just look at the responses here...many unlearned people are spewing conclusions which are entirely unjustified. One person even said that I don't seem nice. LOL. As in like pulling the legs of frogs..Nice, what is that?

Honestly, you just don't seem like a very nice person. And you don't seem to have a very good sense of humor. Now - there are going to be women that don't care about these things - but all I can say is that those two traits are pretty much a prerequisite for any guy that I've ever dated. Money, car, house - not that important. Being in a relationship with someone who is at least nice? Very important.

Hi,

I am not being funny, but what do you look like? Can you post a picture? As another poster alluded to, the pretty and smart girls normally require the material things in addition to softer/amorphous attributes.

As a man that has worked those "lucrative" overseas contracts for over 40 years I can tell you it's hard to find a woman that is willing to give up family, friends and lifelong associations to follow a contract gypsy all over the world. Women have a "nesting" instinct that is contrary to a nomadic lifestyle. I was blessed and found a woman who would "go where I go" without complaint, but I was in my mid 30s and on the other side of the world when I met her. Good luck.

I am not being funny, but what do you look like? Can you post a picture? As another poster alluded to, the pretty and smart girls normally require the material things in addition to softer/amorphous attributes.

When I say that i work in Iraq the women just assume I am in the Army and loose interest.

I also loose "value" because many women believe that out of sight means out of mind.

Are you having real conversations with live women? What you've quoted above implies that you're not having actual conversations. For example:

You: I work in Iraq.
Me: Really? In what capacity?
You: (fill in the blank)

Note: There's no assumption that you're in the Army, because you're going to actually tell me what you do! (Or DID, in this case.) If you're having an actual two-way conversation, I don't see why such assumptions would stand much of a chance.

Same thing with "out of sight means out of mind." How does that come up in a conversation? And when she actually TELLS you that, you explain your point of view on the matter. Are women telling you that this is their belief? Because if not, you're just making up stories without evidence about why they don't choose to date you.

Sure, money makes life easier, but it's not everything. As mentioned in previous posts, connection has nothing to do with money, and many women will forgo financial certainty for the right heart-connection. You've gotta understand, however, that (for some women) it's easier to say "you don't make enough money for me" than "I don't feel the right attraction or connection to you." The latter somehow feels more personal, while the former feels like a mere fact, so maybe they're using money as an excuse to avoid risking "hurting your feelings."

As a man that has worked those "lucrative" overseas contracts for over 40 years I can tell you it's hard to find a woman that is willing to give up family, friends and lifelong associations to follow a contract gypsy all over the world. Women have a "nesting" instinct that is contrary to a nomadic lifestyle. I was blessed and found a woman who would "go where I go" without complaint, but I was in my mid 30s and on the other side of the world when I met her. Good luck.

Ditto. If a gal has something going for her, she is unlikely to give it up and travel around. That's why State Dept people and intelligence officers often marry within their own ranks...as they get posted together.

Business people may be able to get a decent trailing spouse if they provide her with a life of relative luxury...big house, country club memberships, maids, etc...but I am not sure I would want a woman with no career ambition.

I used to work in Balkan capital and was dating an American gal kinda seriously. I wanted her to accompany me and she refused. Mind you I was staying at the JW Marriott on full per diem for six months and TGIF, Mc Donalds, etc were all there yet she refused to leave her podunk city and job that she herself said was only a paycheck.

Some--perhaps you--married a foreigner. 2nd world women with great educations and careers are game to be a trailing spouse but I don;t like dating foreigners because I cant communicate with them no matter how strong their English is.

I am not being funny, but what do you look like? Can you post a picture? As another poster alluded to, the pretty and smart girls normally require the material things in addition to softer/amorphous attributes.

This is completely normal as we all try to maximize our positions.

Um… my looks are irrelevant. I think it's funny that you talked about how ludicrous my post was to someone else - but all you want from me is to know if I'm pretty and smart.

To clarify - by nice - I mean civil, respectful, etc. I think most people understand the concept of being nice. I don't know you personally. In person, perhaps you are very nice. Online - not so much. I can only base my impression of you from what I can read online. You are complaining about not getting respect and not having successful dating experiences. My two cents is that I, personally, care more about a sense of humor and intelligence than I do about material things. Money comes and goes. But I would never date someone that wasn't at least nice to me.

Oh - and my pics are on my profile - so I'm not sure why you are asking me to post a picture. But like I said - my looks are irrelevant. l would still want someone nice and funny even if I looked differently.

Are you having real conversations with live women? What you've quoted above implies that you're not having actual conversations. For example:

You: I work in Iraq.
Me: Really? In what capacity?
You: (fill in the blank)

Note: There's no assumption that you're in the Army, because you're going to actually tell me what you do! (Or DID, in this case.) If you're having an actual two-way conversation, I don't see why such assumptions would stand much of a chance.

Same thing with "out of sight means out of mind." How does that come up in a conversation? And when she actually TELLS you that, you explain your point of view on the matter. Are women telling you that this is their belief? Because if not, you're just making up stories without evidence about why they don't choose to date you.

Sure, money makes life easier, but it's not everything. As mentioned in previous posts, connection has nothing to do with money, and many women will forgo financial certainty for the right heart-connection. You've gotta understand, however, that (for some women) it's easier to say "you don't make enough money for me" than "I don't feel the right attraction or connection to you." The latter somehow feels more personal, while the former feels like a mere fact, so maybe they're using money as an excuse to avoid risking "hurting your feelings."

Just some thoughts...

Howdy Mam,

Thanks for your comments.

My experience explaining my prior career may be limited, but unfortunately I have found that most Americans don't really have a grasp of the defense/ development industry. Many of my colleagues feel the same way.

A close friend of mine has the same problems I do and works where I do in the international development arena. Stop. What do you think this is? I once saw him in a bar speaking to a beautiful Notre Dame grad and she could not figure out what he was doing in warzones working in international development. After five minutes of explanation she said something like, "so you build roads for the Army?." He smiled and got hammered.

Re your second point, unfortunately the logic does not bear out. I know it's a lot to read, but the fact was: girl met me, girl initially had no interest, girl later (after hearing from her friends that i was nice and not a bum) expresses interest.

The women did not tell me that they were uninterested in me for a lack or resources due to a lack of connection....The "connection" was established after they were aware of certain resources..mind you i was not rich then, just better off than many men in Vegas.

One gal was a 7.5 and worked as a hs teacher and tennis coach...completely self-sufficient...on our first date she did not laugh at my jokes and wanted to leave..on our third date she was laughing hysterically and offered to be my de facto property manager for my condo while I was in ASTAN. ...I did not suddenly become funnier, in fact, i became more jaded and less interested in her because it was obvious why my value had increased.

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