I’ve apologized for previously underestimating the watch-ability of Zack Snyder’s upcoming Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice after the Comic Con trailer dropped. (And holy shit, I just realized that the title probably refers to the creation of the Justice League. To be fair, I was too busy mocking it to find any real meaning in it.)

TK then sternly reminded us that we have been fooled by Zack Snyder and his fancy trailers before and warned us not to get too excited, lest we are taken again. Then he threw down a smoke bomb and made “OoooOOoOooOo” noises before knocking over Steven’s coffee and flipping us all off from in front of the smoke screen.

I’ve compiled 5 things that, should they happen in Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, will completely ruin all of the goodwill generated for the movie and the emerging DC Cinematic Universe.

1. Batman loses to Superman in their little showdown. Because we all know that’s complete and utter bullshit and would never happen in a million, billion years. Duh.