Once upon a time, I had no idea how to meditate. In fact, I kind of rolled my eyes when people would talk about prayer and meditation–sure, I grasped the concept of prayer, but meditation? It seemed like a crutch for people who couldn’t stand on their own two feet, and I was determined to be self-sufficient and stand on my own! Then one day a friend asked me what was wrong with crutches, and gently pointed out that sometimes we all need a little assistance–me included.

Today, I think about prayer and meditation differently. A park near where I live is leash-free, and the dogs roam free with their owners scattered about the grounds. I watch as the dogs invariably run ahead of their humans, and once in awhile (and especially when they get to a fork in the path) the dogs will stop, and look back at their humans again. They seem to just be checking in, looking for guidance on which direction to go and wanting to make sure they’re not alone.

That’s kind of how meditation has become for me now–little moments in my day when I pause, check in with my Savior to make sure He’s still with me and ask for direction as I bound off down the road, on my journey through life. And without fail, He’s always there–even if some days I can’t see Him behind the trees. Today, prayer is how I ask my Savior for guidance and direction. Meditation is how I listen for His response.

I was raised in Idaho, and baptized into the Mormon Church when I was eight. I left the church for many years, due in large part to my parent’s divorce. In my mid-20s, I returned to the church of my own accord, knowing full well that I was gay, and that someday I would have to find a way to reconcile my sexual orientation with my faith.

For many years, I was fractured: I believed I was a man with a foot in two worlds, and that I belonged in neither. But as I’ve grown in my testimony of my Savior and my confidence in who I am, I’ve come to understand myself as a man with a foot in two worlds–who very much belongs in both. From August 2011 through November of 2013, I served as the executive secretary of the bishopric of the Bay Ward within the San Francisco Stake.

I currently remain an active, happy and whole gay Mormon–just the way I am.