Britney Spears is 30, You are getting old

Britney Spears in many peoples minds will always be that lusty 16 year old schoolgirl swinging her pigtails around in a mini-skirt and pop socks. So it may surprise those people to know that Britney Spears is almost double that age now.

Who knew she’d still be around? When Brit Brit gnawed her way onto the scene sounding like a frog was having sexual intercourse with her diaphragm – critics said that Christina could stay, but Britney’s star would perish tomorrow. Slight underestimation on the part of the critics given that she’s gone on to sell well over 100 Million CDs worldwide.

Yes, Britney has turned 30, and mapping the past twelve years is actually not that hard.

Smash Hit

Tell everyone im a virgin when im not.

Smash Hit

Some drugs, probably.

World Tour

Boob Job

Pepsi Deal, suck on that Christina.

No More Justin

Drink Coke

Pepsi Deal Over LOL!

Smash Hit

Bit more drugs. Maybe.

Why aren’t people caring about me any more!?

Semi Hit

Flop – ugh

Smash Hit

Who’s this Beyonce everyone keeps talking about?

Quite a lot of cocaine right now. likely.

That’s better, People care about me again.

Get Married

Get Divorced

Justin needs to stop talking about me you guys.

Paparazzi

World Tour

Meet K-Fed

Hurt Knee, Cancel Tour

Boob job removal

More Paparazzi

Get A Little Bit Fat.

Get pregnant

Make a reality show. It does not go down so great.

Have baby

Eat a lot

Smoke a lot

Eat some more

Pregnant again

Use the public toilet barefoot. Whats the big deal?

Have another baby

STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K-Fed is out 🙁

Go a bit mental

Get a bit more fat. NOM NOM NOM

My face looks so different now.

Meet Sam Lufti

Lose Custody 🙁

Gimme More VMAs 🙁

Go a bit more mental

Lose my kids

Shave my head.

Get locked up in hospital

Go to rehab

Daddy takes care of me!

Get partial custody of kids

Smash Hit! OMG!

Cry on camera about my shitty life

Smash Hit!

Lots of mood controlling drugs

Jason <3

Starbucks <33333333

Hit!

Sell Out World Tour!!!!!! LOL

Skinny again!!!! No starbucks! >:(

New Smash hit! I like saying HAYZAY you guys.

Smash hit

A tiny bit fat again.

Seriously you guys, why is my face so different?

Another world tour

Starbucks?

Significantly more finger snapping, less strutting, more hair flicking.