So, we went back to the Platform Believed To Be Seven, and I was frantically looking and hoping for any indication that the broken-looking train was leaving. Some kind of a sign, either physically or metaphorically.

For the “Rick and Morty” fans out here, the Citadel reminded me of the episode where an Evil Rick was kidnapping Mortys and using their inferior brainwaves to hide his superior brainwaves. I know Daina is a great photographer, and I consider myself a pretty good one, but here, it’s drowned out by all the bad photography that surrounds you. Part of that bad photography was pictures of us.

We got off of the Go Bus in “downtown” Hurghada, did a rough negotiation for a cab (first guy wanted 100 LE each, we found a guy for 30 LE total), and now we’re at an all-inclusive resort in Egypt.
I know, not what you would expect.

It was at this point that friends of mine may have read a “Hey, LOL, police escort just taking us out of Abydos with masks on, OMG” type post on my Facebook, because even though I was pretty sure nothing was happening, I wanted there to be some kind of digital record.

Figuring that we’d want to spend a couple of days on the West Bank sites, and having heard that Luxor is the Hassle Capital of Egypt and that not of that takes place in the East Bank, I figured a 9.4 rated guesthouse on the West with a pool would be a solid bet.
…
We are REALLY far away from everything.

At this point, I got a bit loud and, in my best kindergarten voice said “NO! That is NOT how you do things! You do NOT push me! Good-bye!” Which shut him up for almost a minute before he went back to trying to sell me something as I was across the parking lot.

Gebel el-Silsila isn’t going to be overrun by tourists any time soon, mostly due to the fact that the bigger boats aren’t allowed to dock anywhere near it, so the ability to flexible was appreciated and a bit of a given.

We arrived at Abu Simbel at 6:45 am and, already, the sun was baking the ground, coming in at what felt like the mid-thirties. There’s zero shade outside, and you immediately sweat as you pass over a hill to see the temple. You can understand why you wouldn’t be there midday, as it would just be too damn hot.

I had readied myself for Philae ahead of time, having read that the ferry negotiation was intense, the guards and caretakers would aggressively follow you or try to photobomb your shots for tips, and that there was quite a bit of hassle at the temple.
Well, ferry price came in at cheaper than Kalbasha, guards were nice and asked us where we were from before leaving us alone, caretakers asked if we wanted to take pictures of them, but nothing nearly as intense as what I had heard.

Soon after, another guy comes up to us and tries the same shtick, following us until I literally see people walking into the mosque and say “Oh look, it’s open”, at which point he says “It’s open! After, do you want some spices? Backgammon board? Anything you need!” Worst attempted save of a hustle ever.