Because a Watched Sea Never Boils. Enraptured girl, watching sunset with boyfriend: I just love it when the sun sinks into the sea like this! But I have a question...Boy: Huh? What?Girl, turning serious: Why doesn't the sea boil?

--Kauai, Hawaii

Favorite for the week:And Why Are You Wearing That Silly Human Suit? Suit to man with cat on his head: Why is there a cat on your head?Man with cat on his head: Why isn't there a cat on your head, douchebag?

"I want potential romantic and/or sexual prospects to be vaguely reminded of John Wayne Gacy when they see me."

Creepy patron: How's the cheesecake?Bored waitress: It's as close to heaven as you can get!Creepy patron: Well, people have different interpretations of heaven.Bored waitress: (says nothing)Creepy patron: Mine's a warm woman.Bored waitress: Well, we're not serving those today. Just cheesecake.

PonderThis wrote:Back in olden times people found solace in Jesus. Nowadays it's Sonic The Hedgehog.

Mom's a Real New YorkerSix-year-old girl #1: I'm going to David & Buster's with my dad.Six-year-old girl #2: You have a dad!?Six-year-old girl #1: Yeah, I have a dad. You make it sound like he died or something.Six-year-old girl #2: But you said your mom isn't married.Six-year-old girl #1: She isn't.Six-year-old girl #2: Why not?Six-year-old girl #1: Because she has a brain. That's what she says. Right, mom?

--Uptown 6 Train

4PM Kids! How Many Things Can You Find Wrong with This Quote! Intern #1: Sorry, I can't go out tonight. I have to get a tattoo.Intern #2: Oh, what are you getting?Intern #1: This proverb: "time wasted can never be reclaimed."Intern #2: That's deep.Intern #1: Yeah, it was between that and a lollipop on my hand. But I did a Twitter poll and they voted on the proverb.

Manhattan, New York

4PM When Did Muzzling Your Co-workers Fall Out Of Fashion? Peon #1: This is going to sound stupid...Peon #2: Don't say it then.Peon #1: No, but seriously: when I eat peanuts, it tastes like peanut butter.Peon #2: (stares in disbelief, then walks away)

AdelaideSouth Australia

"I want potential romantic and/or sexual prospects to be vaguely reminded of John Wayne Gacy when they see me."

Totally reminded me of this time my family went to a restaurant and our server introduced himself as Batman completely straight-faced. Maybe he just got bored with saying his name over and over all day every day. Maybe he had weird parents. Regardless that guy is awesome.

PonderThis wrote:Back in olden times people found solace in Jesus. Nowadays it's Sonic The Hedgehog.