Previews

Villains of the New Star Trek Game are Easy to Guess

Digital Extremes and Paramount are making a big deal out of the reveal of the villains of the upcoming Star Trek action game, set between the 2009 reboot movie and the 2013 sequel. They say they'll show them off at E3 this year, and have gone so far as to insert generic power-armored enemies for Chris Pine's Captain Kirk and Zachary Qunito's Mr. Spock to shoot at as they attempt to retake the Enterprise from the anonymous invaders. But the idea that they thought any self-respecting Trek nerd couldn't figure out exactly who these guys were from the setup of the scenario here is, frankly, borderline insulting to my nerd cred.

Turn in Your Nerd Card

Here's all it took: In the demo, Kirk and Spock return to the Enterprise aboard a shuttlecraft to find the ship helplessly ensnared in some kind of energy field. This, combined with Digital Extreme's insistence that the enemy is a race that we'd all be familiar with, was like showing Kirk defeating an enemy with a makeshift bamboo mortar. Or oh my gosh, Picard is up against mystery enemy is assimilating everything and adapting to weapons! Who could it be?

Jump long and prosper.

There is only one enemy in the history of The Original Series that specializes in capturing starships in energy webs.

It's obviously not the Klingons. It's certainly not the Romulans. It's definitely not Khan Noonian Singh. There is only one enemy in the history of Star Trek: The Original Series that specializes in capturing starships in energy webs: the Tholians, a race of territorial crystalline jerks with ships that can trap enemies in a woven trap, provided the prey holds still for several hours. In fact, that's about the only thing the Tholians ever did in the one Original Series episode they appeared in. (You've got Netflix, right?)

What do you expect? It was 1969.

This new-fangled web wasn't a geometric pattern in space, but in the context of ensnaring a ship it's unmistakable -- it's so obviously the Tholians, in fact, that if it's not the Tholians then someone is ripping off the their MO so flagrantly that the Tholians should seek legal representation.

So what do we know about the Tholians? Not a whole lot. They look like living crystals and are exceptionally rude. (I'm told they also appeared in Star Trek: Enterprise, but like the Star Wars prequels, I pretend that show never happened.) I think it's reasonably safe to say that they'll make good phaser targets.

"Should we move, captain?" "Nah."

Live Long and Shoot Stuff

So as a life-long Trek nerd who greatly enjoyed the 2009 reboot, yeah, I'm looking forward to this game. It's a two-player co-op shooter, which isn't exactly unique these days, but it does seem to have a good amount of loving polish applied to it. Forgiving ridiculousness like Spock's "combat mind-meld" ability that converts enemies to your side and shooting at your co-op buddy to charge a powered-up phaser blast, it does look like a good amount of fun. Specifically, the visual and sound effects for the hand phasers are straight out of the movie, which seems like it'll be terrifically satisfying, there's ample over-the-top action like boarding the Enterprise by leaping out of a shuttlecraft in a space suit, and yes, they got that JJ Abrams lens flare effect just right.

Spy Guy says: I dunno man, I know they're played out, but at this point I kinda just want to vaporize some good old-fashioned Klingon scum. Are there any other Trek villains you think are poised for a comeback?