Lukaku Spotted Having Dinner with Jürgen Klopp

Romelu Lukaku has been spotted having dinner with Jürgen Klopp. The wantaway striker and Liverpool manager were snapped leaving city centre Italian restaurant ‘Bacaro’ moments apart.

Dinner

“It was just dinner between friends,” Klopp told Soccer on Sunday. “Only yanking your ding-dong, I was tapping him up. You English go mental about tapping-up, but in Germany it’s no big deal. I tapped-up my own wife before we started dating. And see Lukaku? I tapped that shit, right up. I tapped it big time!”

“I asked Romelu whether there’s any other blue scum over at Goodison worth tapping-up,” added the German. “He told me, ‘not really gaffer, it’s mostly freaks and leftovers’. But he added me to the squad’s WhatsApp group anyway, as admin. I booted out Koeman straightaway, and renamed it ‘Tap Up Central’.”

Flattered

Lukaku insists that the experience is flattering.

“It was an honour to be tapped-up by the gaffer,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “He made me feel special. The shoulder rub after dessert was extraordinary. My girlfriend is all thumbs when she does it. I told her, ‘either do it like the gaffer or keep your stinking, bony fingers off me.’ I haven’t seen her since. No matter, the gaffer says he’ll tap-up a new girlfriend for me when he has time.”

Koeman

Ronald Koeman has called on the FA to do more to tackle tapping-up.

“It’s not right,” the Dutchman told Soccer on Sunday. “I created a new WhatsApp group called ‘Loyalty’ and added the players, but they all left straight away. It’s just me and Leighton Baines in there now, and he’s no craic. I have better banter with my three year-old Maine Coon, Cat Le Tissier.”