… You don’t cry over spilled milk. You cry because you don’t have any milk.

… All of your baby names keep getting stolen by fertiles. You’re left with Gidgit and Apple.

… Your husband/partner is more versed in female reproduction than a Women’s Health Practitioner.

… Your dog looks at you like this when you tell him he may not get to be a big brother:

… You realize it’s inevitable that your youngest sister will probably get pregnant before you do.

… Your friend had one drunken one-night stand and got knocked up. You’ve been abstaining from alcohol for four years and you didn’t.

… That same friend now has maternity photos with her and the one night stand, and then later has pictures of her baby plastered all over her Facebook account. You and your husband just had a failed IUI.

… You talk about your vagina to anyone who will listen.

… You’ve ever gone cross-eyed trying to find that little pink line.

… You can’t commit to anything because you have to wait for your period to start, to know when your doctor appointments will be.

… You seriously consider taking up crack. Or going on welfare. Because people who do that always get pregnant. Three or four times.

… You know what EWCM stands for.

… You are sitting with a group of women and the conversation inevitably turned to children, sharing birth stories, swapping tips on breastfeeding.. and you sit there quietly because you have nothing to contribute.

… You can shoot up injections better than a heroin-addict.

… You live in a five bedroom house… and four of those rooms are used for storage.

… You have more people hidden from your timeline than you actually see, because all your Facebook friends have children.

… You spend more time in stirrups than a cowboy.

… Your RE sees your lady parts more than your spouse.

… You are reading this, nodding your head and agreeing to everything on here.

Haha! This is precious. I love the cowboy one, but my favorite is your selection of leftover baby names. I swear I've had names picked out so many times and then they suddenly become super popular so they get the boot. I'll probably bring them back out though as those kids are turning FIVE now!

What a perfectly hilarious and true post! Only thing is I don't actually know what EWCM stands for??? Maybe I'm not as infertile as I thought!! (I wish). This is a wonderful list. Thank you for sharing it!

So true!! The name thing is so hard!! I have SIX friends pregnant, and 2 of them are pregnant with twins. All of them are due May-August. My heart is literally in the pit of my stomach…IT SHOULDN"T BE THIS HARD TO HAVE A BABY! 🙁

ICLW greetings! This is a great entertaining list. The baby names one made me LOL. I have one secret baby name left and if I don't get to use it before someone I know, I'm gonna be pissed. Good Luck, I hope this 2WW ends well.

I think it's our right to stick with our baby names. I mean, if we were like other couples who got pregnant no problem, we would get our pick of the names too. We deserve to name our kids whatever we want. Good for you for going with that name! It's beautiful!

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Hey there! I’m Risa, author of this website. I’m an RN turned freelance writer and personal blogger passionately writing about motherhood, infertility, and health. You can email me with any questions at risakerslakewrites@gmail.com.

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