JESSE NOONAN IS PRO!!!

Santa Cruz welcomes the karaoke king...

Feb 19

Photography by

Andrew Mapstone

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Yep, the ginger ninja is officially a part of the Santa Cruz alumni… Is alumni a word or a conspiracy theory?… Who cares! Anyone who has had the pleasure of Jesse’s company will no doubt be aware of the good times and radical manoeuvres he brings to the party. Without further ado, and the fact we’ve already said ‘good times’ and ‘radical manoeuvres’ let’s take a knee and congratulate a good man on achieving good things… In typical high-brow journalistic fashion we kidnapped him amidst the mayhem – the following conversation ensued…

You literally just turned pro a few minutes ago. Apart from being covered in beer, blood and other assorted bodily fluids how do you feel?

It’s hard to explain, but the best I can put it is like when a giraffe has a baby.

What?

I feel like the baby that a giraffe has just popped out and I’m flopping around in the placenta trying to find my legs.

But baby giraffes eventually find their legs, right?

Yes, they do and when this baby giraffe finds its legs, those legs are taking it straight to the bar for shots!

You’re literally shaking right now. I can only assume this whole thing came as a complete surprise…

I was truly and completely unaware this was ever going to happen! That’s why I’m so blown away and that’s why I’m shaking. The only vibes I had was that Jim and Jackson watched my part and after they saw it both of them told me they didn’t think it was good enough. They pretty much said I had to put a whole much more effort in to it. So, when they said that I started stressing! But it turns out they were fucking with me… or were they?

Mind games aside, you have your name and an incredible graphic on a Santa Cruz board…

I’m beyond stoked. It’s glow in the dark too, which means I can see it without my glasses, which is even more reason for me to be beyond stoked!

Having just walked out of the room where your clip finished and it cut to the US team holding your board and welcoming you to the team… Through the mist of beer and excitement I saw Eric Dressen and Jason Jesse in the mix, just to name a few…

Oh man! Crazy, right? I didn’t realise what was going on. The part finished and then all of a sudden Eric Dressen is holding a board with my name on it! You know what’s funny? The last time I hung out with Eric I was being Sven (Jesse’s torturous alter ego) and harassing the shit out of him. I don’t know how to put this but he was far from stoked on me. Then I saw him a few days ago and he was really nice to me… On the inside all I was thinking was ‘Oh, thank god! Eric still likes me!!!’ [Laughs]

Well, that may have just changed considering when he presented you with your board he was crushed by a mob of mongrels!

Yeah, it got pretty crazy…

You have an enormous egg on your forehead!

Is it that noticeable?

Mate! It’s like a throbbing golf ball!

Really? (Feels forehead) Oh, holy shit it’s huge! What’s crazy is that I did it to myself! I tried to ride one of the blow up crocodiles… Like a boogie board, but my legs folded over my head. I almost broke my neck.

So, let me get this right. You spent a year filming a clip and the worst slam you had was at the premiere of it?

Fuck, now that you put it like that, yes! I almost died! But that’s the Croc-Lobster way. Speaking of which, subscribe now and you’ll receive a detailed information pack.

Hey, this ain’t no platform for your pyramid schemes.

It’s not a pyramid scheme!

Save it for the masses waiting to buy you a beer. Speaking of which get out of here and go and enjoy yourself.

Thank you so much. It’s every young skaters dream to have your name on a board, right? I don’t even know what to say. Man, It just makes me so happy that people like my skateboarding and I’m also really happy that people like to drink beers with me! [Laughs] Thank you so much, and I just want to thank every body that helped make this happen. I’m so stoked and I love you all.