Bitch on a Budget – TJ Maxx Excursion

This past weekend I was invited to a wedding for a family friend of my boyfriend’s aka a totally anonymous wedding aka THE BEST kind of wedding. I love the anonymity of a strangers special occasion. You can shove food down your throat, drink all the top shelf liquor, dance your ass off and not have to spend one minute small talking with one of your distant yet creepy uncles. The wedding was at a beautiful winery in Malibu which was perfect since I was house and dog sitting my parent’s house while they were away on vacation. As I went about my day on Saturday, I realized that the only 2 dresses I had packed were white and fucking ivory. That’s appropriate, showing up to a strangers wedding in a white dress. What the hell is wrong with me? Panic set in and I knew I needed to find a new ensemble in a jiffer. This social faux pas all unfolded around 2:00pm, conveniently an hour and a half before the shindig. I decided to go to the place that always lifts my spirits… TJ Maxx aka Disneyland. People always think I am joking when I say I love it there, shame on you. I documented my desperate outfit hunt filled with all the highs and lows that come with bargain shopping.

I may or may not have gone back for the Pucci dress as my “thinspiration” investment piece – whatever, I #workbitch. Also, I have spent the past 3 hours trying to learn how to bleep out my rape line in this video. I meant to say ravage and oops. I apologize and am too technologically challenged to learn how to fix it since its already been posted. #sorrymomanddad