The More I know Him, The more I love Him

Friday, January 24, 2014

So, a certain someone (you know who you are) keeps telling me that I am addicted to worship.

And you know what, she's right!

Whenever I hear worship music, especially LIVE worship music, I'm naturally drawn in and nothing else even the people I'm with doesn't seem to matter anymore...(probably should work on that).

Or, if I am alone, especially at church (which happens a lot), I can't help myself but spend an hour sometimes more either on the piano or guitar just worshipping Jesus....and I never want these moments to end. Ever. And I mean that.

I love music, I enjoy secular music a ton. But I've realized that I never know all the word to secular songs, I have to WORK so hard to remember all of the words...but with worship music, they just flow and are easy to remember the lyrics. Probably because they resonate with my heart so much, where songs like "do what you want, what you want with my body.." really don't resonate with my heart....(I know that's hard to believe for as much as I sing that line...😝)

The point of me sharing this with you; I have fallen deeper in love with Christ this year. I have fallen deeper in love with worshipping Him through song. It's been a huge struggle the past 4-5 months in worship...from my voice occasionally giving out (which it still does at times, in corporate and private worship), and from nerves and anxiety taking over my mind and body....I have had to endure....and to fight....for something that I truly love and appreciate with an immense passion. It may sound silly but I don't think I've ever fought so hard physically for something in my life...and I think that's why I appreciate worship so much more now, and why I have fallen so much more in love with God through worship and every aspect of it. I have seen His power in ways I had forgotten that He moves in. My heart has been re-ignited. My passion has been fueled. And though the enemy even still tries to pull me down....especially with my voice and insecurities, I know that I can push through and that I will because The Lord is my Shepherd...and I have a community who fights with me.

And I could not be more blessed.

"God is spirit,and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:24

"And he said to them, 'You shall love The Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37

"Ascribe to The Lord the glory due his name; worship The Lord in the splendor or holiness." Psalm 29:2 (Or beauty of holiness! In the NIV)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Ever since being apart of Off The Wall, one word that has continually been repeated over the years is...intentional.

As much as I have grown in being intentional, I am finding, I still have lots of room to grow in this, but I know that I am not alone in this, for as do many others in my community.

It's very easy to keep things surfacey, for fear of making people uncomfortable, or even making yourself uncomfortable and placing yourself in awkward situations or even situations where you may face rejection. But I think I can speak for most people when I say that I desire to be intentional, and to not be so surfacey. But fear just seems to be greater. And it should not be.

My days are so much better when I start them off with encouraging people, or praying. When I do that, it never fails that I have at least one great conversation that day that is more than "how are you?" But reveals a piece of the heart. I like conversations that reveal the heart. I like hearts, a lot. Like, a lot. I am learning this!

So, if you read this and you know me, challenge me on my intentionality. Ask me if I have been intentional with people and my conversations and in encouraging others. And I also challenge you, to be more intentional. Go out of your way, out of your comfort zone to be intentional. If you need to pray for someone with them, in public, or write them a letter, or send a text, or just want to know more about them but have been to scared to ask...ask! They probably want you to...and if you do get asked an intentional question, give a response. Be intentional in that. ☺️

Monday, January 13, 2014

If this mornings sunrise is not a sign to you at how Glorious and Sovereign and Faithful and abounding in love our Creator God is....I'm not sure that your even human.

Pictures can't even do justice. I tried, and then decided to just be still and watch.

Joy truly comes in the morning.

Last night I felt like there was a weight on me. I couldn't have even told you what it was, or what was wrong with me really, I just felt weighted down and all I wanted was to cry and to be held.

So I walked. And as I walked, not a whole lot happened. But I did keep reciting Psalm 23 and meditating on The Lord being my Shepherd. 😊

I think sometimes when we (I) have really, really high weeks, as well, when your getting to a place where you are becoming more and more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, you (I) just get tired. I believe last night was just me crashing after an intense week. And I could be completely wrong, and I pray that if I have a sin issue or something that needs dealt with that God will make that evident and I completely believe He will do just that!

But overall, psalm 23 just brings me comfort. Because people can only give you so much. They can only comfort you so much. Jesus can and will give you all you need. Plus more.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Yeah, I have my routine, my normal day to day activities. My days don't change a whole lot.

But life, is exciting.

Because Jesus is alive!

I've been blogging a lot more recently, because God is mighty at work and I just feel the need to share.

As well, there has been a shift in some of my attitude...(which is a great thing because I have a terrible attitude the majority of the time).

For instance, all I would love to do is just go to bed and sleep a good nights sleep. But my heart is beating like crazy and my stomach feels nervous...and this is becoming a normal thing and I have come to know this as the Holy Spirit moving me to pray, to read, to write, and to encourage. Sleep is not that important in the Kingdom of God I am realizing, and I am becoming completely okay with this. Although I do find myself asking God why He so chooses to keep me awake sometimes, I also find myself looking forward and appreciating these times. Because they are beautiful and only draw me closer to God. Intimacy. I love intimacy with my LORD!

I now find myself saying to God, 'what do you want me to do. Who needs prayer. What shall I read....' Rather than complaining that I can't fall asleep and just getting frustrated.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

It's amazing to be able to look back and see how much YOU yourself have changed. And what has helped shape the change.

I've had a lot of changes over the past few years, and changes are always happening I've come to learn. Change is good. But one change that I keep realizing recently, is how I cannot stand to be alone.

I used to not be able to get enough alone time. I actually preferred to be alone, than with people. I processed better among other things.

I do still have a lot of alone time, and some alone time is definitely needed, but I'm realizing that when I am alone for to long, I get extremely antsy and discombobulated. I also am more tempted to believe lies and go to deep in those lies while alone. I also have noticed, that I am just plain happier and more excited when I get to be with people.

My perspective changes when I am with people, my life is no longer about me. I can process better by talking through things. I believe less lies because people are taking time to be with me showing me they love and care about me. Even if there isn't much conversation going on, the fact that I am in the presence of people is enough. One of my favorite things actually is just going to a coffee shop and reading a book with a friend. With no obligation to talk, but of course that happens!

Change has frightened me for a long time. Life has been 'weird.' But, I have come to love change. Change is exciting, and proof that you are moving forward. I love how God moves in change and how He orchestrates it for His glory and our betterment.

Monday, December 30, 2013

So, I had this whole New Year's Eve post typed out, and the more I kept writing, the more I decided to delete it. It was pretty bahumbuggy (it's a word in my dictionary thank you) anyway!

Instead, u get my coffee shop meditations:

I can't help but be amazed by the Favor of God in my life. This has been something that has always blown me away, and something that always baffles me as to...'why me?' But God is faithful, and gracious and loving, that because He loves me, and has called me to Himself, of course I will have favor with Him, because ultimately, my desire is in fact to please Him. And that desire only grows stronger as I get older. I am not deserving to be able to feel and experience the incredible presence of God everyday of my life, I am not deserving for my prayers to be answered almost immediately sometimes, I am not deserving to have the heart of my Savior revealed to me and to feel His love for me and to love others in return....I am not deserving...in and of myself. But Christ's sacrifice (blood) and imputed righteousness gives me favor. Favor where I can receive freely all of these things and more. Where I can have peace that passes all understanding, where I can have an unconditional love, where I have joy unending, I can have an eternity with Christ to look forward to and His Holy Spirit to live inside of me right now.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I love times in the presence of God, no matter where one is at, when your heart just feels like exploding. Complete gratitude, complete awe and wonder, reverence, fear, love...these times leave me weary. But if weariness can be a good thing, than it's that kind of weary!

I want to share this lyric video with you of this song...for the honor by elevation worship. I first heard this song at a conference OTW was apart of at another local church a few months ago, and the first time I heard it, I cried through the whole song. And that same thing followed the other few times of hearing it too.

There are some songs that just resonate with out hearts in an almost indescribable way, and this song is by far in the top 2 for me. Every word in this song, my heart just wants to cry with it and proclaim. I believe every word, and the beauty of God in this song is just overwhelming to me...hence one reason for the tears.

I hope this song resonates with your heart too.

And I sure do hope that someday God will inspire me to write such beautiful lyrics and music that will resonate with the hearts of His people as this song has for me.

About Me

The older I get, the more fun I have. I eat donuts a lot. I watch netflix, to much. I try to read more. I love the church. I have been given much grace from my Heavenly Father who has saved me and made me righteous. I enjoy a good laugh. And i love traveling and pop music.

Life Verse

'I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together!"