Sometimes life doesn't go according to plan. Sometimes you find yourself on a road you never imagined you'd travel. Sometimes it can scare the pants off you. This is the story of how our little family came to be, continues to grow and how we (attempt to) manage the chaos.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Breaking News.....

YOU can help bring THIS BEAUTIFUL girl home and have a chance to win some pretty incredible gift "Kards" in the process.

Here's how it works:

*1 entry for each $5 donated.

HOW TO DONATE: You can donate via her youcaring link here (button also on the right) or via Kamila's Lifesong account: Lifesong for Orphans PO Box 40/202 N. Ford St Gridley, IL 61744. Include in the memo: FENSKE #2453; or online at Lifesong for Orphans.

*1 additional entry for each share on Facebook, Twitter or Blogspot

*Comment here after to let me know you've entered/shared so I can credit you the appropriate number of entries.

Monday, February 17, 2014

I'll spare you the long, sad story since most of you reading probably already know it, but if you don't and you want a refresher, you can go back here and here. I haven't had much to say the past couple of years because there simply hasn't been much. We've been promised more times than I can count and we've stood ready every second of every day. I go to bed at night thinking of her and wake up every morning thinking of her because that's what do when you are parents of a child. Despite what some people believe, you CAN actually love a child who is not in your home, not in your arms. It's a different kind of love - one that still has to grow in the traditional sense, but it's still very real. My heart has been broken for this little girl for six years and a piece of my heart has been on the other side of the world since the day we said "yes."

Lest you think I have been the one suffering here, let me assure you, what I have been through is nothing compared to what she has been through. She lives in a state of constant physical and emotional distress. She may have a roof and some clothing (although none of it is hers), she may even have an occasional toy to play with. She receives food and water even though her diet is inadequate to ensure proper growth and nutrition. She doesn't go to school or experience the ins and outs of daily family life. She doesn't HAVE a family to call her own. She doesn't have someone to tuck her in at night, say prayers, hold her when she's sick, respond to her cries, share successes and dreams with, teach her to speak, or celebrate holidays with.

It has been almost two years since we've seen her - an eternity. We told her we were coming back - we PROMISED. I wonder sometimes if she thinks we lied to her or abandoned her and if she hates us for that. I pray that she will eventually forgive us and that in time can learn to love us. I wonder how deep her emotional scars are and if her heart can be softened again. I pray every day that we will have the chance to try.

The Kyrgyz government is once again in the process of reopening adoptions. We are beyond desperate to free her this time. She needs us and we need her. Over the coming weeks and months we will once again redo all of our paperwork, sign on with yet another agency and put our trust in the hands of people who will hopefully guide us to bringing our sweet little girl to redemption. We pray you will follow our journey and support us along the way.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Friends, I owe you an update - yes I do. Stick with me and I promise you lots of photos! It's been a crazy few months as always, but we have survived. Praying winter ends soon, though. I am craving some sunshine and warmer weather - as are the children!!

In my last post, I told you about Ulysses and I'm happy to report that during the Angel Tree period, he had over $1000 added to his Reece's Rainbow fund! Now, we just have to find his family!! Thank you to all who supported him!

December brought winter and Christmas! This was our very first Holiday Season completely and totally outside of the hospital. Seriously, folks, this was foreign territory for us. I was on pins and needles waiting for the other shoe to drop. We were knee-deep in a medication wean, all the kids were healthy, I had a hard time believing everything was just going to be....NORMAL. But, it was and it was great!

January brought frigid temperatures and bit more insanity spirit to the house. While it was good for the kids to return to school and for everyone to try and get back into their routines, not having an outlet for our pent-up energy proved challenging.
Esen has been struggling with school...A LOT. We're amping up his PT/OT sessions to weekly and extending them to 3 hours to make them more intensive. He's also undergoing some more evaluations to see if additional services might be beneficial. Academically, he rocks, but socially/emotionally, he has a hard time holding it together.

Miss Noodle gave us quite a
scare toward the end of January when she took her very first helicopter ride. On a Sunday morning, she started seizing and it went on for quite a long time. Her rescue medication did not stop it. We called 911 immediately since we are in a remote area and response times are long. We have first responders who are very kind and sweet, but unfortunately are not super helpful in a real emergency. They are very limited to what they can do. In this situation, they can put an oxygen mask on her, gather all of the info for the Paramedics and basically stay out of my way so I can treat her and prepare her for transport. By the time Paramedics arrived 30 minutes after our 911 call, I had accessed her metaport for venous access, spoken to her neurosurgeon and neurologist and had everything ready to go. The decision was made to transport her to the local hospital and immediately transfer her via MedFlight to our Children's Hospital in Madison. The entire process took 2 1/2 hours!This, my friends, is why I am so very old. We have been desperate for years to move for this very reason. The distance and inaccessibility is downright dangerous for her. Had she arrested (which she has done in the past during these events) or had she been having a massive shunt malfunction, that amount time passing could've caused severe damage or could've cost her her life. Happily, she is home and has recovered. While she is struggling some to adjust to new medications, she has not suffered any permanent effects from this seizure. We'll be scheduling surgery in the next month or so to add an additional valve to her distal shunt.

Other than those things, there are a lot of inside activities happening - donut making, football playing, movie watching, and general silliness going on.

I promise another update soon - next time on our sweet Kamila and the hopeful progress that we might soon be making in bringing her home!!

About Me

I am a happy wife and lucky mom to four very special kids. If there's one thing I've learned over the past few years it's that life never goes as planned - and that's okay by me! feel free to email us: ksfenske@gmail.com

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For six long years we've held her tightly in our hearts. Leaving her behind in her orphanage was the hardest thing we ever had to do. We've fought like hell to be allowed to bring her home & promised her that we'd never give up.

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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have which once you have got it you may be smart enought to see it is what you would have wanted had you known..... ~Garrison Keillor