WRITING: QUICK TIPS: Details

Good writing strikes a balance between giving the reader enough details to make the story
interesting and lively and overburdening the reader with too much detail.
Try giving your writing a bit more detail (usually adjectives or adverbs) so that it is
spiced up but be careful about going too far. The following examples should give you the
idea of what to strive for in your writing:
Not Enough Detail:
Jane sat on her bed looking at the phone hoping Bryan would call any minute. The clock on
the wall seemed to mock her and she couldn't bear to look at it any longer. She laid back
and closed her eyes thinking about his last words to her.
Too Much Detail:
The diminutive Jane sat very uncomfortably on her midnight blue hard bed looking with
longing at the purple dinosaur phone her dead grandfather had given to her for her 6th
birthday; hoping Bryan, her best friend and lead guitar player of the band Metalheaders,
would call any minute. The black and white Felix-the-Cat clock on the wall seemed to mock
her with its shifting eyes and she couldn't bear to look at its piercing feline gaze any
longer. She laid back and closed her blue eye-shadowed eyes thinking about his last harsh
words to her that morning between second and third periods.
Just Enough Detail:
Jane sat uncomfortably on her bed looking at the purple dinosaur phone her grandfather had
given to her for her 6th birthday; hoping Bryan, her best friend, would call any minute.
The black and white Felix-the-Cat clock on the wall seemed to mock her with its shifting
eyes and she couldn't bear to look at it any longer. She laid back and closed her eyes
thinking about his last words to her that morning.
...........
Practice Note: You might be saying to yourself that you really want to let the reader know
or that it's important for them to know that Jane is "diminutive" or that her grandfather
is dead, or that Bryan's words were "harsh" or that her favourite color is midnight blue,
etc. What I would suggest is to work in the details that you really want the reader to
know such as any of these, throughout your story as they fit in. Don't try and pack too
many details into one short burst of writings or one scene. Omit any details that aren't
important and which burden the overall flow of your story. Always sacrifice details in the
name of action and verbs/things that are happening. Think of details as salt. You want a
little bit to make the taste of your meal come alive but not too much obviously.
.................
Hope you found this quick-tip helpful. Feel free to practice and also provide feedback.
You are welcome to post snippets from whatever you are writing in the comments here and
ask everyone whether it should have more detail or less.
-eduardo