I thought about it today I have been having a shitty time and I went the the kitchen and pulled out a knife and slashed three times on my wrist it left small marks not cuts I turned my wrist over and did it deeper causing two cuts. My family members haven't even realised how shitty things have been for me and I do need help I need cheering up!

I have two scars on my arm from when I was 16 when I let a friend of mine demonstrate his self-harm on me. I couldn't understand why he did it, he wanted to explain the thrill it gave him.

I'll never know exactly what he felt, but I think I can understand how it's a sort of relief to feel physical pain and see actual effects, compared to the pain you feel inside where there's nothing anyone can see. Physical damage feels real, when the torment in your head seems worse than real, yet invisible.

My teenage years were total misery. I was anorexic, depressed, lonely, had terrible skin, the whole thing was a complete nightmare. All I can tell you is that being a teenager, when you change from a child to a prototype adult and responsible for your own identity and no one can help is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. Just know that you're not alone.

When my friend cut me, he freaked out at how deep the second cut went. He didn't mean to go so deep. Accidents can happen at the best of times, so please don't give it any help. I got my solace from music, where artists make something beautiful from the pain that you don't yet realise is universal. Personally, it was Disintegration by The Cure. Man, does Robert Smith get it.

Hang in there Monkey and put the knife down. Trust me that you'll get through this. Be patient - your capacity for pain is the flipside of your capacity for joy.

Have you any counsellors at school you can talk to?I agree that you are trying to deal with internal pain in a physical way.You really need to get some help of some sort. If you can't get help at school tell your mum you are struggling with some things and would like to see a counsellor.