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OK. I see that there hasn't been one in a while, So I went ahead and DID IT! Yes, I'm a newbie, and I know this won’t hold up to the standard of previous hysterically-funny ones from Shakes & co. But I figured it would maybe help for people that missed a show, at least until some of your regulars return. So, please be gentle, it’s my “first time”, and most likely I’ll improve with experience.

9/8 Two Old Guests

We start the show with a recap of the previous cluster-bash from the Embittered Rejects. Then I have the pleasure once again to see Keith, the lesser god of Wisdom, recite his already classic line: “What do I think about Zack’s ineligibility? I kicked him off again.”

So, Zack and Andon plot to trick Team Barbie into voting for him, so he can bring them down.Zack then uses a brain cel to try to figure out how he actually Threatened Keith when he was looking at the wall, but doesn't see it, and sticks his head in the sand, like a good emu. Zack and Amy do some pillow talk, where they profess their love and both admit that it’s the most stable relationship they’ve ever had. Zowie!BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: “I won’t give out my # to 4 people here, I don’t wanna hear from them.” (To be edited when I see my tape).Goto any msg bd for lots of digs on this one. OH NO, Charla’s gonna cry when she sees the tape and loses all hope of hooking up with Zack. Later, he gives a lame-o speech about his people, the Italians and Scots, and compares himself to Braveheart, which starts 5000 mad responses on msgbds everywhere. This is one of the most offensive and ridiculous brain-farts ever. We now see what Zack tells himself every morning to convince himself that he and his abs are almighty.

Toni yells at Tara, but then backs down like the Hulkster she is, when Tara won’t play that game.Charla, Kavita and Tara talk in C’s bedroom a lot. Dave mopes in his room a lot.We don’t see Matt: Rumor has it that he asks to not be voted back on the show.Andon starts his baloney on Charla and Tara. They seem to fall for it, or maybe they are just being nice.Melanie tries to apologize for the others bad behavior. It’s probably baloney also.Melanie has a talk with Holly, so she won’t be jealous, and Mel will get voted on. VERY STRATEGICALLY playing the game.Holly cries to Scott for being alone in her room for 2 days, sans Dave’s visit. Scott was busy catching up with old buddies.Zack argues with Dave and brags about being great cuz somebody loves him. He makes a somewhat-apologetic goodbye speech, that no one believes he wrote himself. No one cares.

Vote-on:Holly is the deciding vote for both. And its Beau and Melanie. Good thing Barbie’s votes for Andon didn’t win out. Sometimes, things happen for the best. Cant wait for the Melanie-a-trois cat fights that will inevitably happen.Oh yeah, Toni got no votes. YEAH!

9/10 Lamy’s Abrasion

Melanie starts us off, making all buddy-buddy with Desperatee and claiming that she doesn’t have to be nice to Dave & Co. since they didn’t vote for her. I guess that would bother her conscious or somethin.

Then the roommate selection: Hollow and Scott-the-Robot, Charla & Dave (her best friend), Bo-Zo and Lamy (his best friend’s girl – haha), Melanie picks SuperKeith to help oust Barbies (someone’s honest on this show) and Tommy Boy chooses Tara over Desperatee, hoping the single girl will have more vote-off power. Tara probably can’t wait to get hit on by Smokey again.

Bo-zo actually spends some time this ep talking about how to get rid of Team Barbie (sometimes Dave is included, some not) and does some lame machine gun gestures. Wow, You’re in the Army Now, BoZo.Desperatee gets in a Toni-style yelling match with Dave (well, someone has to be Toni now that Lamy’s given up, I guess.) There is a jungle party, where the guests make outfits out of zebra, tiger or snake print. Charla & Dave choose Snake, since that’s what the others assume they are. Charla goes to bed early, and on her way out overhears Lamy boo-hooing that Charla stayed over Melanie. (YEAH, Charla should have given YOU the boot instead of Mel ! Wouldn’t life be bettter, then?)

Lamy is in the pool with BoZo, standing on his shoulders, and dives in head-first. Next scene: Lamy sitting down with ice pack on her head, stating “its only an abrasion”. Yeah, this time. Many of you are wondering why Lamy acts like an abused puppy where her Man is concerned: obviously, this is not the first head injury for Lamy, which explains a lot, huh?

** I see that Shakes has surmised that Scott the Robot is most likely gay. I can see that. But having gay-dar myself, I’d like to expose another – Beau. Just my opinion, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…esp. the talking part. And he was WAY too upset at losing Alex as a friend and had so many arguments about their “relationship/ friendship”, I could swear they were a couple. Beau’s next tv gig will be Boy Meets Boy 2. (just a guess). **

Then there is a lame boat trip for Team Originals (minus Mel) where they talk about Team Barbie and Desperatee is Shocked to hear that Dave really is in love with Charla. REALLY? Yes, really. Really? Yes, girl, what parta dat don’t u understand? And it must be Charla really putting one over on poor naïve Dave and using him. Yeah, except that Dave actually thinks for himself unlike y’all. ON the bright side, there is some good bedtime fighting with Scott and Hollow, where we actually get to hear how he feels for the first time in the game and he makes an ARSE of himself by saying hurtful insensitive things to her about how bad she flirts and he doesn’t, how nothing that happens there means anything cuz it’s all the game, and how it won’t affect his life after the game. Or somesuch. ON the brighter side, Charla and Dave have a nice talk about her inaffection with him, she explains that she didn’t know him well in the beginning and they have a nice hug (if ONLY there was more….)

Pandora’s Box is announced. The Bitter Team goes about speculating questions, none of which they apparently have the guts to actually submit. The promos made it look like Hollow-Holly was actually asking this of Tara, we should’ve known better: “How could you hook up with Alex and vote him off the next night? I would never do that!” Will Princess Tara please explain to the others:… that she had an alliance with Keith, so therefore anyone up against him would be gone; and that she has no reason to protect someone who never promised to have her back and would have gladly voted her off; and who should have gone instead, Scott or Tom? Make Lamy answer that one, again.PB: Scott is forced to choose Holly over Mel. Holly claims not to be jealous of Scott and Mel. Tara says that she is happy Beau is back, although he is a little bitter (he looks shocked and laughs about it). Amy answers the “rumor” that Tara is jealous by saying that Amy has accomplished so much more than Tara. BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: Offscreen Tara says, “like what? We’re both on reality tv.”

I also don’t understand why both Teams are assuming that Desperatee will have the power to eliminate someone. It would only happen if her choice is unavailable for the remaining women, which has only happened twice, I think. Given the announcement of a New Twist, I doubt it.

Then, at the end of the episode, us faithful were expecting another vote off, when the Hostess-with-no-conscious (what is it with stuffy, emotionless, no-dignity British hostesses?) announces that the vote-off will be next week. On the bright side, I don’t have to worry about it for 5 days.

I only watched bits and pieces of both shows, so I thought that maybe some things made more sense if you watched the whole show, but I guess the producers just leave a lot up in the air.

I think there is no way Desi gets any power from being the "vulnerable outsider" this week. The only time that has happened is when the "outsider" had never had a roommate and when Bozo and Mel returned.

Chrissy gal

"Never underestimate the potential psychosis of a reality show contestant." managerr

LOL, Anglefood! Love the part about Desperee -- Really? Yea. Really? Yep. Really? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Duh -- braids are too tight, I think. And I am so glad you commented on Tara ousting Alex - She liked him, had fun with him but stuck with her alliance. It's called Reality Show. And I also agree with the BEST LINE - "Like what? We're both on reality tv?" Obviously, Tara is a well grounded individual who has perspective on these things. Proves the level of intelligence of our Fab Four.

Please feel free to keep writing these if you want to --- our original plan to have others write them seems to have fallen through after shakes' (2 episode) and Lisapooh's (1 episode) summary, and I still have to post the last three episodes of Road Rules: South Pacific summaries myself (1st is done but not posted, 2nd is almost done, and 3rd has to be written after the finale airs tonight).

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