I've been an entrepreneur for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I started selling cool rocks even before I sold lemonade. At age 8, I hired my two friends to deliver newspapers and gave them 75 cents a day, and I kept 25 cents. I've gone on to start much larger companies, divisions within companies, both within the US and outside, that have led to both success and failure. Venture backed, partnerships, bootstrapped, high growth, retail, commercial real estate, technology, energy, B2B, B2C, B20 - nobody is there to buy) and more. I’ve learned my greatest life and business lessons from my failures. I recently completed a book for Wiley & Sons, entitled The 7 Non Negotiables of Winning: Tying Soft Traits to Hard Results, which you can read about here: http://www.7nns.com. My current company, Fishbowl, is a culmination of everything I’ve learned over my 30-plus business years.

“There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry” General George Armstrong Custer, 1876

–Game, Set and Match: Sitting Bull

My 3 Favorite People: Me, Myself and I

How much does ego cost your company? How about your career? A noted career psychologist says 51% of executives peg the cost at 6-15% of revenue. Another 21% estimate it costs 16-20%. That’s as much as $2 million of every $10 million we produce. This is a tragic fact—yet in some respects, it’s extreme enough to be funny. Consider these true events:

William Orton, President of Western UnionWestern Union Telegraph company, upon being invited to buy the patent for the telephone for $100,000: “Mr. Bell, after careful consideration of your invention, while it is a very interesting novelty, we have come to the conclusion it has no commercial possibilities…What use could this company have for an electrical toy?”

“Let’s make snot beer!” Robert Uihlein, CEO of Schlitz Brewing Company found a way to cut brewing time from 40 days to 15… to replace most of the barley malt with corn syrup…and to switch from one stabilizer to another to circumvent new labeling laws and as a strategy to outsell and outsmart Anheuser-Busch. Yes, the beer was cheaper, more profitable and got to market faster. Profits rose—until customers noticed the beer tasted terrible and—worse still—broke down quickly to form sediment that looked like mucous. Famous last words, in 1981, from a former mayor of Milwaukee: “How could that big of a company go under so fast?”

General George Armstrong Custer (photo courtesy of Wikipedia)

Steve Jobs to John Scully, about the Apple Lisa Computer, 1983: “We’re going to blow IBM away. There’s nothing they can do when this computer comes out.”

“When your wardrobe malfunctions in front of 10,000 people, make it part of your act.” – Donald Trump (following the failure of Trump Airlines, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Casinos—perhaps we should just refer to him as “Trumped?”)

Eric Jackson, fellow Forbes Contributor, on WebVan’s failure, in TheStreet.com: “After raising hundreds of millions of dollars and going public, Webvan failed. The smart Web entrepreneurs overlooked some basics about running a grocery business … Before their failure, if you asked them about bringing in some industry talent their response had been: We’re trying to recreate this industry so we don’t want to tie ourselves down to the old ideas that failed.” – Why Tesla is the Next WebVan(What? Wait a minute –My Tesla is arriving this month. Never mind that example. Moving on…)

We could add many hilarious, sad and even tragic examples to the list of companies and executives whose egos have sent them careening down the Freeway of Giant Mistakes. So how can we prevent these disasters? Here are four basic steps to keeping your own “Me Monster” (and yes, we all have one) in check:

1. Push Pause. When you feel the need to pound your chest, try to catch yourself. This is the time to tame the “Me Monster” by putting a gap between the stimulus and the response. Lean away from the situation and breathe until you can gain a fresh perspective on it. You don’t have to run head first into every “fire alarm” situation your work life (or even your personal life) presents.

Sitting Bull (photo courtesy of Wikipedia)

2. Perspective. How can you detect when the “Me Monster” cloud is gathering and preparing to explode in a storm? It’s when you catch yourself in the age old question – “Why not me? I should be getting the credit.” There is no “I” in team. In fact, the thing that “TEAM” should actually stand for is Together Everyone Achieves More. When your brain asks “Why not me,” think of a tactic you can use to change your thought pattern. I think about the big blue monster from Monsters, Inc and start to smile, which breaks my brain pattern instantly. It helps to put my better thinking back in charge of my choice.

3. Beware the Backdoor Monster. Watch out for the “backdoor Me Monster” — you may not even realize your ego has “backdoored” you. This is the stealth approach a monster thought uses to subtly undermine your better thinking to keep the environment in check, by dropping hints of questions or doubt. Perhaps it’s a small note or an email someone sends to subtly draw attention to themselves or to a negative issue, or a well-placed comment with a underlying “subtext.” Doubt droppings are like bird droppings. Be alert enough to avoid stepping in them, and they will generally disappear on their own. As to the subtleties—strive to forgive and move on. If you don’t reward the negative behaviors in others, they will generally either move to more productive tactics, or will be forced to move on.

4. Remember the Bigger Agenda. If you think about the “long game” journey, you can skip the small dramas that occur on the way. I enjoy seeing people on the team smile and enjoying life. What could I say or do that would create another “beam” in their countenance? Happy teams produce and achieve more. It’s statistically proven – the metrics are solid on this. Calmness and happiness are also important for health. Stress and Fear are first cousins to the “Me Monster.” No one wants to end their workday—or their life—as the victim of a “career cardiac.” Every day–every week–and every season, take the time to collect yourself and keep the bigger picture in mind.

Have I given you the right examples? Have I given you sufficient ideas and strategies to keep your own Me Monster in check? I welcome your stories and your contributions to this list. But most of all, I welcome your thoughts.

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I love this because it’s something so many people have trouble with (myself included). The cycle is always *event* followed by immediate *reaction*. Even in the fast paced world we live in, we cannot afford to respond in a fast paced manner. Things move quickly, I am very aware, but there is always a few moments to think out an appropriate response. 100% in agreement that it is labeled number one. Everything begins with a thought, take a few moments and expand that thought just a little bit more.

Agreed Myke! Now, where is that pause button….? My mother always said that I should count to ten before responding. Even if you are counting fast, it gives you time to think more clearly before reacting. I think that anyone with any sort of sensibility knows in their heart when they are pushing the “me” envelope.

Thank you, Mykel! Amen to everything you just said. Putting a gap between the stimulus and the response is not just wise – in so many cases, it is the vital difference between a success and a disaster. Thank you so much for taking the time to articulate this thought so well.

And sometimes even ten is not enough–in many cases it’s important to actually sleep on a situation before you respond and react. Thank you for all you do, Marilyn, and thanks very much for the note. Regards, David

That’s so true, I think most of us have at one point or another noticed people get more egocentric than rational. While confidence and stamina/persistence are some of the traits that can be used to describe great people, I can see how letting those characteristics get out of hand can easily ruin a companies overall aura. Great job pointing out a problem that could otherwise go unnoticed.

Thank you very much, Simon, and you are so right. Confidence and persistence are vital–but when ego takes over, those same traits can easily become a blind spot and can get out of hand. Thanks so much for your note. Regards, David