Rejection is the pits. We know this. Professional rejection, academic rejection, organ rejection, and, most especially, romantic rejection. So it's totally understandable why this semi-anonymous Tinder user, known only as "Tom," would FLIP THE FUCK OUT like a baby that got sand on its binky when politely rebuffed by a woman he's never met.

Tom opens with an enticing offer to, apparently, season and cook his still-living penis and then place it in his intended's mouth until ejaculation occurs. Like a typical 6 who is also an account manager, she declines. THIS SHALL NOT STAND.

But don't worry, Tom sets her straight about how people from Maine should and shouldn't talk to guys who make upwards of $32k sometimes.