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Proof That the World Will End in 2014

1Jan

January 1, 2014

The New Year is upon us, and with the drop of the ball, resolutions are sure to abound. But, there is no reason for people to set to resolve anything this year because the world is coming to an end. Below are the top reasons the apocalypse has to be near.

NAMBLA – Believe it or not, there is an organization that is dedicated solely to the love that grown men have for underage boys (or as the law calls it, pedophilia). The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) formed to help lower the age of consent for minors, specifically for men. This organization wants to help propagate pederasty, age-structured homosexuality in men, and fight for sex offenders. Not surprisingly, NAMBLA does not have local chapters because the members could face persecution and prosecution.

Scat Lover’s – Scatlovers.com is the single most obvious reason that the world is coming to an end. This is the website for the people in the 90′s who saw “2 girls 1 cup” and thought ‘I could get in on that.’ There is absolutely nothing that says “I have deep-seated Freudian level issues,” more than having even the slightest glimmer of desire to play with fecal matter. And, this site is dedicated to hooking up poop lovers with like-minded individuals.

Furry Love – Some people like to have their partners dress up in silk robes and give them a sensual massage for a sexy dalliance. Some people strap on leather corsets and use whips and chains to get in the mood. For them, a little pain leads to pleasure. S&M may be a little extreme for most couples, but it lies well within the range of normal sexual practices. And then, there are the guys and girls who like to throw on a mascot costume and get hot and heavy. No one can guess what kind of terrible childhood traumas led to fully grown people dressing in panda bear costumes to have sex, but it had to be pretty remarkable and unsettling.

The Redneck Games – Is supporting anything that sports a Confederate flag (the symbol of oppression in the Old South) inherently a little racist? Maybe. Is celebrating the most ignorant faction of our country and creating a set of games based on their stupidity a sign of the impending apocalypse? Definitely. The Redneck games plays up big country traditions in the South like bobbing for pig’s feet, toilet seat tosses, and belly flopping into piles of mud.

Worming – From the people who famously put used underwear in a vending machine, we now have climacophilia or worming as the kids call it. Leave it to the Japanese to find a disturbing fetish that can also cause blindness. Worming is when people are aroused by licking each other’s eyeballs. The human mouth supports from 500 to 1,000 types of bacteria and at anytime is carrying 200 types and millions of microbes in a relatively clean mouth. Licking eyeballs at the conservative end causes conjunctivitis or pink eye. In the worst cases, people lose their eyes.

Forniphilia – There really is no better way to explain this other than showing you picture above. Submissives, or the people who are submissive to a domme in the sado-masochist lifestyle, are occasionally relegated to becoming furniture.