So you watch this clip, then you wonder, how many hygienists in job-saturated markets don’t even have the luxury of being able to wrestle with these sorts of ethical dilemmas? They’re just happy to have an income. And if you don’t want to work faster than you should, there’s the door, honey. We’ve got five more hygienists waiting for your position when you leave.

If you must ever make a decision to follow your halo out of a practice like that, remember, there are also dentists who would rather have ethical hygienists than ones who will do whatever they’re told to do regardless of whether or not it’s best for patients.

Just please, promise yourself, you will never, NEVER, consider taking a personal day to go watch a movie, especially NOT the upcoming Twilight one, like DEZiree is pretending to skip out for. Eyes will roll as your credibility sinks beyond all hope.

And a shirtless Robert Pattinson is just one of those things you can’t unsee.

Hey, thanks for checking in at the front desk ten minutes late for your appointment. I needed that slowdown in my schedule so that I could stand here at the door and watch your world come dramatically crashing down around your shoulders. Yes, that’s what you made it seem like would happen if you didn’t get to finish that cell phone conversation.

The “I see you” hand signal and nodding of your head told me that your legs were ready to walk my way but that your brain still belonged to that employee yapping in your ear. She couldn’t figure out how to click on some stupid program? Please, I wanted you to fire her right then and for you to get your backside into my chair.

You teased me with an apology. I relaxed, thinking that the time crunch was relieved, draped a napkin over your shirt, put the chair in prone position, but then it was shattered by your obnoxious Justin Bieber ringtone yelling at me BABY BABY BABY NOOOOOOOO! I couldn’t believe that you had the nerve to put that phone right up to your ear and say “What.” You didn’t see me roll my eyes way back into the sockets and into the next operatory as I waited for you to finish moving your mouth so that I could get you to open wide.

Was I gentle to you today? Yes. Did I want to be mean with my dental equipment? I won’t tell you. Did you even see the signs posted all over this office that are written in big bold letters “NO CELL PHONES PLEASE”? Even when I pointed at one of them and glared at you in the nicest way possible, you STILL thought it would be okay to hold your phone up in the air and do a little texting. WHILE I WAS WORKING IN YOUR MOUTH.

Well that’s it. The signs are coming down because it’s always embarrassing when a courteous person will go out of their way to shut down their violating phone. Oxygen explosion? Equipment danger? Whatever. I’m not getting interrupted by the people who read signs. I’m getting interrupted by you, the rude person who probably also doesn’t stop talking on the phone in checkout lines.

So I won’t punish everyone with my threatening signs that just end up making me look intolerant. Next time, it’ll be all on you. If you’re on your phone, instead of wasting our time together, you will be asked to reschedule your appointment because you are just too occupied for the dental care that we are prepared to offer you.

It’s cold out there, isn’t it? Well, here. Seek refuge from the frigid entrails of winter and sit your bottom down. Try to relax. There. Doesn’t that feel better? Of course, it does. I made a big pot of my split-pea soup. It is good, isn’t it? I’m glad you like it. Now… WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE MONEY?!

Did it just float away somewhere into the abyss of dental folly? Was it poorly managed by a pack of flying wombats? Or, worse yet, was it engulfed by a colossal kettle of tiny nuns as they were shouting, “Sweet nectar of the gods! Give us more!”

Patients trusted you. Now they have to find another dentist, pay more money for uncompleted treatment, and take unpaid days off from their jobs to finish major dental work. Some of these patients may have to take out additional loans just to see a new dentist.

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

So yeah, a tongue-in-cheek pun would fit really nicely here, but that would be in bad taste. Never mind, it just happened anyways. Stop reading sidebars already and click on some content instead.

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