Over the course of 2017, I endured the separate and unexpected deaths of three friends. Since these losses, I’ve done more than my fair share of mourning. But I’m lucky in one regard: I work for myself. When I needed to, I could step out of my home office, throw myself into bed and uncontrollably weep.

Most employees aren’t that fortunate. They must contend with their grief while continuing to work among others. Here are my ideas for how their employers can support them:

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Know that relationships are not one-size-fits-all.

Many companies offer three-to-five days of paid bereavement leave, depending on the familial relationship. In one of the most generous corporate policies, Facebook announced last year that it would give employees up to 20 days of paid leave to grieve an immediate family member and up to 10 days to grieve an extended family member.

These benefits are a show of goodwill on the part of the employer. However, as no two families are alike, the grief endured by a person may not directly correlate to how closely related she is to the deceased. Consider a person raised by a grandparent, a person who loses a significant but unmarried other or a person estranged from his family who finds his own circle among close friends. In my own case, I was far closer to my friend who died than I am to members of my immediate family.

While I understand the reasoning behind a tiered paid time off policy, be flexible. Stay sensitive to the fact that not all loved ones are blood relations. If necessary, allow the employee to take personal days or unpaid time off beyond whatever allotment you define.