Premature ejaculation? Maybe, but it looks like fun to me.(Image credit: mileamne)

I recently had sex with a man who came before he actually got his penis in me. This was a first for me, and I learned that premature ejaculation is surprisingly hot.

Sex is supposed to be fun and we both enjoyed ourselves, even though premature ejaculation often falls into the category of “something going wrong”. He could have turned this into a big problem and done his best to invoke my pity, but instead we just went on to have awesome sex. That’s what makes a great partner: someone who can roll with things and still create a mutually satisfying experience. Fortunately this is a skill anyone can learn.

But what made this particular experience fun?

My partner had a fucking orgasm

I want anyone I’m having sex with to thoroughly enjoy themselves, so when he had an orgasm before I could to make much of an effort, I was ready to call it a win. Also, it’s difficult to attribute that orgasm to some sort of physical stimulation — we just hadn’t done much yet — so clearly he came because I am unbelievably attractive and the very idea of sex with me was all he needed. My ego approves of this.

He was initially quite embarrassed about the situation, which was actually the only reason I knew what was going on. Given our positions at the time, and the fact that we were incorporating some light bondage, he could have easily hidden this from me until he was ready to go again. While I certainly didn’t want him to feel embarrassed, I’m glad he let me know what was going on so I could appreciate it. Sex with someone who is enjoying himself is fabulous, regardless of when the orgasms occur.

He didn’t let it get to him

He immediately apologized, once, and he did take a moment to dispose of the condom and clean up, but at no point did he withdraw from me or let me feel rejected. Instead of wasting time feeling ashamed or with repeated (and unnecessary) apologies, he trusted me when I told him that I was more than okay with the matter and he quickly let himself get back into sex.

I found his calm approach to what could have been a stressful situation both attractive and reassuring. It was attractive because it showed that he was still in control, regardless of the actions of his penis. It was reassuring because next time I might be the one feeling embarrassed about something, but I know that I’m more likely to be shown patience and compassion than shame and (unsexy) humiliation. I learned that I can trust him to treat both of us well when we’re in a vulnerable position.

Sex didn’t end with premature ejaculation

We cuddled, adjusted the nipple clamps, made out, and talked to each other until the refractory period was over. Those activities are fun in and of themselves, and I was more than happy to spend some time engaging in them. Once he was ready, it was easy and natural to bring his penis back into our play and make the transition to sex. It felt like some of the pressure was off: we both knew he wasn’t going to orgasm again anytime soon, so we were able to take our time and have fun.

It might have helped him focus on my pleasure: I was making an effort to make sure the sex was mutually satisfying, but he seemed driven to make me cum. Anything that provoked a happy response from me was immediately repeated and intensified, with excellent results. By the time we were done, we were both very satisfied. I’ll happily have sex with him again, even if premature ejaculation is a chronic problem that has nothing to do with my overwhelming attractiveness.

I had fun sex with a great partner and premature ejaculation didn’t change that. The sex was amazing, largely due to his lack of shame and his willingness to make sex fun for both of us. Unless I’m fucking someone exceptionally selfish who feels that sex ends with his orgasm, the more orgasms the better.