The After

It has been awhile since I updated this site because the words as Laura (the patient) so put it .... although you have a lot to say, the words don't come out.

Even though our family talks about the details of the accident less and less, we are all very careful not to start a conversation with...Guess what Amanda, or I have something to tell you, or I have some bad news.... which will surely cause a lump in your throat or throw you into Post Traumatic Stress syndrome.

My Miss Kim lilacs which I have had since Amanda was 3 are now under water thanks to the floods we have had here. They lived through two transplants and harsh winters near the lake and years of struggling to establish themselves in their new spot by the water and finally blooming into healthy and happy bushes. And now ....they are not going to make it because their roots have been underwater for a month. It is the end of our time together and I can't dwell on how sad that really is.

Clearly, as a result of all this, you don't let yourself drift into areas of your mind where you can get stuck. Everything as we knew it has changed and not just from Brian's standpoint but from the whole family's. Anything can happen at any time and simply because it happened once does not guarantee that it can't happen again.

It just doesn't add up. Do the math, there is no way to steal second base with your foot on first. The era is over and a new one is to begin. Memories are for holding the good things that have happened in the past and forward thinking is for warding off the evils that have hurt your family and your dreams.

Brain is starting a slow return to work and he coming to any understanding of how much he can endure, what he needs to recover and how long this is going to take.

Terry and I can't thank everyone enough for their continued thoughts and inquiries as to Brian's health. We tell Brian every time someone asks about him and as a result we never feel alone or far from knowing that we have many friends that truly care.

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20Comments

By Dan McGinley (your nephew in CT)
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Nov 2, 2014 8:11pm

Just checking in after a long time, Brian. Making sure your recovery has been steadfast, and it seems that way. Rock on, my blood relative, rock on. You are proof of miracles, and one tough guy. My very best to you and your family.

By Colleen Hendrickson
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Jul 1, 2014 12:28pm

Thinking of you Brian while I sit at work with Veterans at the VA. God Bless you this holiday weekend and always. Think of you everyday when I drive to work knowing you are slowly making that transition back. Hang in there and take it easy.

By Jean and Mike Buller
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Jun 27, 2014 12:28pm

By diane killian
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Jun 24, 2014 9:21am

Mother Nature is tough. She gives and takes and we have no control of her.
Thank you for your update. I can't imagine what it is like to live through these past months and I am so glad for good endings. Miss you at the golf course and hope to see you soon.

We cannot even begin to understand the will of God especially when everything hurts SO badly. Cling to his promises that he intends GOOD for those who love him, even when it seems so far away. You have been on a journey that so few people ever walk down their entire lives and you will have a testimony that will speak volumes to people and change lives in the process. Thank you for being so transparent and letting people know that this is real life and it is NOT easy..you have a team of warriors praying you through this..love to you all..-Marilyn Paumen's family

By Barb olson
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Jun 23, 2014 8:29pm

By Pam Mettler
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Jun 23, 2014 5:43pm

Thank you, Jill, for the update. I think of you and your family often. Having received "that phone call" many years ago regarding my little brother, Burt, I can in some ways understand what you all have been through. Unfortunately, for my family, the outcome was tragic and we still miss him terribly. Be grateful, as I'm sure you are, that Brian is still in your lives....hug him often and tight. I so wish I could do that to Burt.

By Ruth Travis
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Jun 23, 2014 4:40pm

The strength and courage of your entire family is an example to us all. I can only imagine the barrage of emotional upheaval, mental stress, and physical exhaustion you have all endured. Such a traumatic experience can never be completely behind you -- your PTSD reference is hauntingly true for anyone who has ever gotten "that phone call" and experienced something similar to what you've been through. I continue to pray for Brian, his healing processes, and the new reality that challenges him. And I continue to pray for all of you. Though we cannot carry the personal weight of this journey for you, please know that so many of us are here to lean on any time you need us. With open arms.