I’ve been staring at the back end of my blog a lot lately, looking at more than a dozen half-written posts, and then just clicking away. It’s not that I don’t have time to write anything. It’s more that anything other than a fun post with pictures or a new quilt finish seems like a lot of work. And I’m tired, y’all. I’m just tired. So here I am, on Thursday evening, typing into the post box, and we’ll see what happens.

I’ve been in the dumps, a bit, lately. There have been a lot of fantastic things — my Belize vacation with Jose, spending a week in Seattle with my sister and brother-in-law and nieces, getting to see an old college friend and her family while there as well, surprising my mother-in-law with a big party for her 60th birthday. I don’t want to make it sound like it’s been a dull month because it’s been anything but. I can’t remember the last time I did so much travel in such a short amount of time. It was great! And exhausting. But mostly really great.

Coming back has been both good and bad, as it usually is. After being on the go so much, it’s nice to look at the next few months and know that I’ll be staying put. I can unpack my bags. I can stay in the same time zone. The kids can wake up at a normal hour again instead of the 4 a.m. wail that Charlotte did on several occasions during our week on the west coast. (THAT was some fun, eh, Charlotte?) We can get back to our routine — and yet part of me doesn’t really want to get back to the old routine, because maybe it’s the “old routine” that’s gotten me in this funk in the first place.

Or maybe not. I really don’t know. I hesitate to say I’ve been depressed, because that connotes a pretty specific medical condition that I don’t think applies in my case. Overall, I’m happy. I’m in a good mood most of the time. I sleep just fine, I enjoy hanging out with family and friends. Aside from blogging, I’m still doing all the hobbies and fun activities I’ve been doing for years. But there’s also just an undercurrent of apathy towards the day-to-day right now. A feeling of being burnout. I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about why I’m feeling the way I’ve been feeling — but I got nothing.

(Have you seen this cartoon on the mental load of a working mom? I’ve thought about it a lot lately. I bring it up NOT to imply anything about Jose, but rather because I have wondered if my recent slump is a symptom of just having a lot on our plates in this phase of life? Because it feels like A LOT on my plate.)

Anyway.

Here are some things that have been not so good:

Work is…slow for me, and frustrating for many of us. Our team is having some struggles, and multiple attempts to address the issues have thus far been unsuccessful. At this point, I don’t have a lot of hope that we will see an improvement and am trying to find some sort of peace and/or acceptance that we may have to live with these difficulties indefinitely. And that is really hard. And demoralizing. (I am being vague, for obvious reasons.)

I had a minor dermatology-related procedure done last week and healing from it is more annoying than I expected. Plus it’s on my back and it’s basically impossible for me to accurately replace the band-aid, so Jose has to help me. Marriage FTW, right?

Ten minutes before dinner tonight, both girls were crying (because I don’t even know why) and in the midst of her fit, Charlotte ended up both slapping and scratching me as I tried to calm her down. I reacted in a way that I’m not proud of. Oof. Parenting. It’s hard sometimes. (So yeah, she seems happier and relaxed to be home but clearly not 100% of the time.)

I’ve been feeling pretty socially isolated in recent months, yet have not taken any steps to address this — you know, like inviting people over or initiating social activities. This has never been my strong suit, and continues to be something that I want to do better but don’t. Or can’t. Or won’t. I’m not really sure. And yet despite wishing I saw friends more often, I also find myself just constantly wanting time to myself. So basically my brain is at completely opposite ends of the spectrum at the exact same time.

The physical state of our household — stuff everywhere, despite my repeated attempts to corral it/throw it away — has driving me absolutely bonkers for quite some time now. I’ve been around the block enough to know that being greatly bothered by our stuff or despairing about something like the floor being littered with kid toys are both symptoms. Those feelings are almost always a sign that something else is bugging me.

But here are some things that have been good:

I still love going to Orange Theory for a workout once per week. And now that we’re getting back to a normal schedule, I can get back to running a couple times per week as well. I honestly couldn’t remember if I signed up for the 2018 half marathon so I looked myself up the other day and nope — I didn’t sign up. It’s sold out now. Overall I’m ok with that after several recent years of signing up then not running, but I may look for another, smaller half marathon in the same time frame. One that I could sign up for kinda last minute if my running goes well through the fall.

I finished my Long Time Gone quilt top and I absolutely LOVE it. This is the first time I’ve ever made a quilt that is 100% for me and I’m excited to get it basted and quilted and be able to snuggle with it soon.

Emma has really been enjoying art, and draws several pictures nearly every day after school. At least 50% of them are pictures of Trolls characters because she is legit obsessed with that movie right now — but even so, these are GOOD drawings for a not-quite-5-year-old, right? I’m blown away by what she’s producing right now. She’s not even looking at a picture for reference anymore, but just drawing it straight out of her head.

Charlotte had a few super rough days in Seattle. She’s always been on the clingy side, but it didn’t occur to me until we got home that maybe being in a strange house with strange people was stressful for her. (Those “strange” people are related to her, yes, but nonetheless “strangers” since the last time we’d seen my sister and her family was more than a year ago when Charlotte was still a baby.) Things got better as our week progressed but since getting home, she seems happier in general. I’d even go as far as saying she seems relaxed, and that’s not usually a word I’d use to describe a toddler!

Summer in south Texas has awesome clouds — see above for only one of many examples I could have shown you from the last several days. I took that snap on Tuesday morning at the end of my run. I like how one set of clouds is casting a shadow on another set of clouds.

We just got home yesterday after spending a week in Seattle visiting my sister and her family — including my new niece Avery who was born in April! Of course I had to make her a quilt, right?

This is the Pueblo Mesa quilt pattern by Katie Larson. I actually bought this pattern originally because I wanted to make one of the mountain-themed quilts but it ended up being the third pattern in that bundle that caught my eye for Avery’s quilt. I made this in the 10 days I had between getting back from Belize and heading to Seattle so the fact that the pattern is relatively simple but still carries a lot of visual impact was perfect.

The pattern called for fat quarters and half yards, and I was able to pull every single fabric out of my stash — even the backing! This is pretty unusual for me and I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to sew entirely from my stash for anything bigger than a mini quilt because I don’t usually have anything bigger than a half yard and therefore I usually end up ordering yardage for a backing or binding. But not this time! The print that started things off is the blue and purple triangles print by Lizzy House. I had about a yard of it that I bought a few years ago. I adore this print but had never been able to decide how to use it, and it seemed fitting to work one of my favorite fabrics into something for my niece. From there, I pulled another Lizzy House blender, several cuts of Alison Glass, some large scraps of Tula Pink, and a couple others in shades of blue and purple. I absolutely LOOOOVE how they all work together.

I was able to use the same fabrics to make a pieced backing that under other circumstances could probably have worked equally well as the quilt top! Funny how that happens sometimes. I took the pattern suggestion of quilting a large echoing X shape with the lines about 2 inches apart. I did have to pull in one additional Alison Glass print for the binding — and I also have to brag because this quilt features literally the best machine binding I have ever done in my 6 years of quilting!!! For my own future reference, here’s what I did: cut 2 1/4″ strips, sew them to the front using just a hair over a 1/4″ seam allowance, press on the front, fold over and press on the back, glue baste it down making sure to juuust cover the stitching line from the front, and then stitch in the ditch from the front of the quilt juuust catching the binding on the back. (If you wanted to make absolutely sure to catch the back, you can also edge stitch on the front instead of stitch in the ditch. I have done this before as well.)

This is one of my favorite quilts I’ve ever made, and I hope Avery loves it for years to come!

I have to admit that I was actually pretty amazed when I realized every item on my list was complete. And while I’m proud of myself for making it happen, I also have recognized the need to scale back for a bit. My recent vacations have reminded me that downtime is good too and I want to bring more of it back into my life on a daily and weekly basis. I’m long overdue for lazy weekday evenings watching TV with Jose, or kid naptimes spent reading a good book instead of heading to the sewing machine. Basically, I am once again remembering a recurring “note to self” that sewing is my hobby, not my job!

With that in mind, here’s my toned-down list of goals for July-September.

Long Time Gone Sew-Along. After nearly 4 months, the sew-along is wrapping up and I’ll finish this quilt! I’m REALLY excited to see all my individual blocks come together and look forward to snuggling with it on the couch.

Baby quilt for my new nephew. Jose and I will have a new nephew sometime in October so of course he needs a quilt!

Finish Charlotte’s stocking. With the cross stitching done, it needs to be turned into an actual stocking. I’ve got the fabric already so it’s just a matter of making it happen.

Other than those 4 items, I’m going to let things evolve more naturally this summer. If I get some other projects done as well, that’s great but if I don’t get anything done beyond those things, so be it!

We had a nice low-key Independence Day this year…after unexpectedly kicking the day off at 2 a.m. when Charlotte vomited all over her crib and herself. Talk about fireworks. The commotion of getting things cleaned up woke Emma up, and then Charlotte wouldn’t go back to sleep, so basically all four of us were mostly awake from 2 until 4. FUN TIMES. I naively thought this would mean everyone would sleep in but no such luck. Since we were up on time and since the little one seemed to be in decent spirits, we stuck with our original plan to participate in the neighborhood bike parade.

Jose and I were on foot and I assumed there would be other people walking but nope, it truly was a BIKE parade so Jose ended up jogging along with Emma while Charlotte and I got left in the dust. No worries though, since we were with our next door neighbor — and since the parade route for the little kids went right by our house, we just stopped there. Convenient! (And next year, we’ll know that one of us should ride a bike along with Emma!) Overall it was a cute event, and did I mention how much I love our neighborhood? Only every other week, right? It’s hard to believe it’s been almost a full year since we moved here but I continue to have exactly zero regrets about it!

After lunch and a much-needed nap for Charlotte, we headed over to our friends’ house for swimming. I think Emma literally spent about 3 hours in the pool. She loves it! I never get many photos when we’re swimming since my phone get left in the pool bag, but I snagged a shot of my happy little fish late in the afternoon. She was in the pool without Jose or me which meant she had to wear her floaties, but earlier in the afternoon I let her take them off while we were in the water with her. I’m so impressed at how well she is swimming these days! She can dive pretty decently now and loved touching the bottom in the deeper end of the pool. I’m hoping she’ll be interested in doing swim team next summer.

By the time we got home, both kiddos were barely awake. Charlotte hit the sack immediately while Emma stayed up long enough to see some fireworks on TV…and then fell asleep on my shoulder before they were over.

Hello!

I'm Sarah, a NASA engineer by day and quilter by night. I live in Houston with my husband and our two young daughters. I've had this ol' blog for more than 15 years, and these days it's home to my quilting work, snippets of family life, and occasional musings on my engineering career.