Date: Thu, 6 Dec 2001 04:46:54 EST
From: Macncheezaroni@aol.com
Subject: Opposing Forces
Opposing Forces
by Jeff (macncheezaroni@aol.com)
Chapter 1, Part 1
Here's another new series for those hopeless romantics out there; please
write with any suggestions, comments, criticisms (constructive of
course), questions, etc. E-mail to Macncheezaroni@aol.com, don't be
afraid to say hi and drop a note, I love getting mail. Well, here's the
start of something I hope is enjoyable...and read at own will. Enjoy!
Chapter 1, Part 1- The Life of Dwayne Louis Carmichael
The story of Dwayne Louis Carmichael starts here, a tale of my
satirical and dysfunctional life. A junior, at a decent age of sixteen,
forced to spend most of my life in what I call prison...or common
everyday term would be "school." For someone who hates school as much as
I do, one might think of me as a loner or anti-school spirit...the irony
of all this...I am the Junior Class President, an avid participant on our
school board and dance committee, a member of our award winning concert
band and an actor in our school musicals and plays. I figure, hell, if I
am forced to spend four years of my life in this hellhole of a
highschool, I might as well suck it up and make the best of it. And to
top it off, I am gay. Not bisexual or I "might" be gay...i mean, how can
you "might" be gay...you're either attracted to guys, or you're not.
Simple as that. Of course I'm not out at school, but I don't deny it if
anyone ever accuses me of it. So...no flaunting but no denying either.
Got it? Okay, moving on to the immediate family members.
I have two siblings, Jane (the older one) and Ben (the younger one).
I am the middle child, and I have yet to recover from my middle child
syndrome. Jane, the senior, is a nerd. Well, nerd is a harsh word...I
guess academically gifted. She's already been accepted to about 6 out of
10 colleges that she has applied for...and I think her final choice is
USC...wise-choice, sunny southern california, near Disneyland! Meanwhile,
my family is situated in central California, in good ol' Silicon Valley
(so if I was her...I'd move far away as well). Jane is the socially
deprived and retarded one in the family, she gets nervous near
people...yet she expresses her feelings towards me just fine. Funny how
you can project your opinion towards your little brother, but feel like
vomitting at the sight of an audience. My brother Benny, the sophomore,
is the jock (Politically correct: Athletically Gifted). He plays every
sport and participates on our football, soccer, and tennis team. Quite a
fan with the ladies, yet he remains single...checking out the scene so to
speak. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he gets by. So we
have a nerd, a prep, and a jock. My parents? My dad works in the
advertisment industry, the type of guy who tries to come to every event
(math contest, school elections, sport games). He spends his free time
pruning and planting his stupid garden that ends up dying by autumn and
obsessively polishing the Pathfinder he bought himself last Christmas. My
mother is more sane, a spanish teacher at another high school
nearby...she's the housewife from hell. Neat, perfectionist. Overly
involved in our lives (study groups, costumes for plays, fundraising for
the sport teams)...so basically, we can't get rid of my parents. Alright,
so the dysfunctional is introduced...moving on to the more dysfunctional
part of my life...my friends.
My friends...are thank god, down-to-earth, honest, and blunt. No
superficiality, no backstabbing/shit-talking. Absolutely NO drama in our
group whatsoever, makes our lives a tad bit simpler. I hang out with
basically three other people, I mean, we have a large group, but these
three were my childhood friends and whom I remain close friends (if not
best friends) with. Clarissa Montgomery (or Clar for short), the girl in
our "foursome". She's the type that drives most guys up the wall: smart,
intelligent, funny, spontaneous, wild, and not too feminine. Jacob
Quesada(or Jake), another school-involved individual...our junior class
Vice President (we campaigned together) and Art Club President. (hey, the
guy is a brilliant artist). And lastly, Ryan Knickenbocker (or Ry). He's
probably my best friend since our encounter in kindergarden. We had been
playing in the sandbox and I took his truck, he started crying and shoved
sand up my nose. So I started crying...guess he wasn't too great at
sharing, and we both ended up in the classroom on time-out. We became
great friends and we tortured half our elemantary and middle-school
teachers together. He was the musician in our group; he played the
clarinet, quite well if I might add. I play the saxaphone, so we're not
even in the same section in band. So he does band, plus he plays tennis
and badminton. So these are my weird friends, so now the story starts and
the introduction can end...
Chapter 1, Part 2- The Hardship of Monday Mornings and the Deprivation of
Caffeine
"I need sleep," Clar whined on Monday, as we gathered around our
table to seat down.
"I need food," Jake chimed in.
"I need to copy your spanish homework," Ry added.
"I need my sanity because my friends are driving me crazy, and the
day has just started!" I said in one quick slur.
"Whoa, I think you overdid it on the caffeine this morning," Jake
said.
"Yeah...I think so." I admitted.
"Well, anyways...our Winter Formal is just around the corner and I
was thinking that we should..." Clar started and continued to go on about
the dance next weekend. "...and, HEY! Did you guys even hear a single
word I've said in the last minute?"
"Huh?" Ryan said, looking up from his spanish worksheet.
"I'm offended," she said. "I'm a witty conversationalist, if I may
say so myself."
"Yeah well," I said. "Try being on this side of the conversation."
Jake and Ry snickered, while Clar glared at me with her icy blue
eyes.
"Sorry," I said. "Taking last comment back."
"Good," she said.
"Ok, good," I said.
"Good," Jake said.
"Good," Ry finished.
"Next topic of conversation is..." Jake started.
"Tyler Callihan." I said, watching this boy approach the vicinity of
our lockers.
"Tyler Callihan?" Jake said, confused.
"DON'T mention that name," Clar said, her icy blue eyes shining with
anger.
"No," I said, clarifying. "I mean...I haven't really seen him this
whole year, and now his locker is apparently next to mine."
"Well, just your luck Dway," Ry said, again looking up from his
spanish worksheet. "But I'd just ignore him anyhow, with what he had done
to us and all."
What DID he do? Curiousity killed the cat, but hell, I'll tell you
anyhow. Tyler Callihan was one of us, until we hit seventh grade. I guess
puberty was catching up with all of us...and hormones were flying every
which way...and Tyler wanted to be in the "IN" crowd...be popular...those
superficial bimbos. So he left us and ignore us since then, and four
years later, we still can't hold a decent conversation without bringing
up some old memories of seventh, eight, ninth, and tenth grade.
"Hey Ry," I said, fumbling through my backpack. "Did you take out my
spanish book?"
"No, just your binder."
"Damn, I have to go to my locker," I said.
"Now?" Clar said and dropping to a whisper, "With him there?"
"Well, I have spanish next and the bell is going to ring in a minute
so I don't care," I said as I picked up my backpack and headed towards my
locker.
I reached for the dial of my locker, when I felt his eyes staring at
me.
"Can I help you with something?" I asked, as I lifted the tab to open
my locker.
"This is your locker right here?" he asked, his jaw still slightly
dropped.
"I'm taking a book out of it, aren't I?" I said, a bit more sarcastic
than I wanted.
"Just a question, no need to get all bitchy," he said, slamming his
locker shut.
RING! The bell rings before I could retort back a comeback. The hall
began to swarm with numberous students, attempting to go to their
homeroom. I made my way to Mr.Duvarte, my homeroom and spanish teacher.
All the seats were taken by the time I got there (with two minutes to
spare), so I took a seat near the back by this guy name Joel. Mr.Duvarte
took roll briefly, even though he has had us in his homeroom class for
two and a half monthes now. Some girl read the announcments and the
students began to gossip and chatter about their past weekend and so
forth. I scanned the classroom and I caught another set of eyes, looking
straight at me. It was Tyler. Since when was HE in my homeroom class,
guess sitting towards the middle/front blocked my vision...and his name
(on the roll list)...guess I blocked out his name. He's still looking at
me, as if he's studying me....could he be CHECKING me out? I made a
silent mental note to check into Tyler Callihan. He's still staring,
what's his problem?
The homeroom bell rang and I moved towards the front where my seat
was in spanish (which I had next). Soon, my spanish class started to file
in and Ryan grabbed the vacant seat next to mine. I forgot Tyler was in
this class as well, so he remained towards the back, hopefully focusing
his attention on someone else.
"Tyler was staring at me in homeroom," I whispered to Ryan.
"What do you mean staring?" he asks. "Like an 'I'm going to kill
you' stare or more like an 'i want you look' type of look?"
"With the choices I give," I said while pondering. "The latter one."
Ryan chuckled, he had found out I was gay when I came out to him
last summer. He didn't even flinched or blinked, he just nodded, smiled,
and hugged me.
"Don't fill your head up with that inflated ego of your's," he said.
"Your head is big enough as it is---"
I slugged him on the shoulder hard...
RING! the bell screeches to announce the beginning of first period.
Mr.Duvarte takes roll briefly and moves onto the "fascinating"
lesson over the difference between por and para. As Mr.Duvarte drones on
about por and para, I sense this odd feeling...the feeling when you sense
someone looking at you. I was afraid to turn around...but I did anyhow.
Just as I suspected, Tyler quickly looked away, averting eye contact.
"He's doing it again," I whispered to Ryan.
Ryan took a brief look over his shoulder, "He's doing it as we
speak."
"Alright class," my teacher said. "With the semester coming up so
soon, I am assigning you and a partner, chosen by me (groans), a project
on spanish grammar mechanics. Each pair will get a certain area to cover
in spanish grammar, and each pair is expected to make a poster and give a
brief but informative presentation. Project is due at the end of this
week."
He begins to read off each pair off...he calls out "Ryan
Knickenbocker..."
Oh God, please call my name! I wished frantically.
"...and Bernice Jackson."
BERNICE?!? That better be some weird nickname given to me by
Duvarte...because I am always partners with Ryan in this class. As I was
thinking this, a shy girl moves towards us.
"Brace yourself," I whispered.
"Why do I get screwed with the shy chicks," he said, smacking his
forehead.
"Just your luck Ry," I said, laughing softly.
I was enjoying this torment, teasing Ryan until he was going to
blow.
"And lastly, Dwayne Carmichael and Tyler Callihan."
And that's when i STOPPED laughing, and clearly, it was Ryan's turn
to laugh at me. Partners with TYLER?
"Mr.Carmichael, I suggest you close your mouth and move towards the
back with Mr.Callihan." Duvarte advised.
"Mr.Duvarte," I said, dropping my voice to a whisper. "There's been
a mistake right? I couldn't be partners with Tyler Callihan."
"Quite the contrary Mr.Carmichael," he said, checking his stupid
list. "Right here, I have you down with Tyler Callihan."
"Well, it's just that...with all due respect Mr.Duvarte, I don't
think I would function or work well with Tyler," I replied back.
"Well," he began. "You're going to have to try hard then, won't you?
This project is a third of your grade, so I suggest you start cracking
out that smile of your's and get moving."
I grumbled and picked up my backpack and moved towards the back.
Tyler had moved over from his cliques and he flashes a fake smile and
pats the seat next to him.
"Don't even start," I hissed.
"Well, hello sunshine," he said sarcastically.
"Look, I'm only here to do the project and..."
"Look Carmichael, I'm not thrilled about us partnering up either, so
I'll make it easy for the both of us. I do half the research, and you do
the other half."
"That's swell and all," I replied. "But what about the poster?"
He must've forgotten about the poster, because he gave me a blank
look. A look of confusion. "Damn, I forgot about the poster. Well, we can
meet in the library at lunch or something and we can piece it together
then."
"I'm not putting a third of my grade at risk because we're just
going to "piece it together.'"
"You want to meet OUTSIDE of school?" he asked, suprised and intrigued.
Personally, I think he was more intrigued than surpised.
"Guess we're going to have to." I said, slowly. "How about tonight?
Can you ditch whatever you're doing to do this project? Sooner we can get
this thing over with, the sooner we can go our separate ways."
"Fine." he said. "My house is always opened. You know the fam, just
swing by after school or something. My mom want to keep you for dinner."
"I don't know about dinner," I said hesistantly.
Honestly, I haven't seen this people for about four years now, how
could I possibly converse with them?
Chapter 1, Part 3- A Stroll Down Memory Lane and Lasagna
"Tyler Callihan," my dad says with a large sigh. "Now there's a name
I haven't heard in a long time. How is ol' Ty?"
"Dad, I don't want to get into it," I said. "Can I just go? Quick
bite, work on project, and home I go."
"Sure, I guess," he says. "What ever happened between you two
anyways? You were so closed."
"Puberty happned Dad, that's what."
With that I went up to my room to finish the remainder of my
homework before going to the Callihans.
Why am I nervous? It wasn't like a date, it was a project assignment
with the devil...or keeping with the story, Tyler. I rang the doorbell,
and I could hear someone running to get it. The door swings open and
there stood....
"DWAYNIE!"
Oh geez, I haven't heard that in a while. It was Tyler's six...no
wait...recalculation TEN year old sister, Katie. Katie encircles me with
her arms and squeezes tightly.
"Hey Katie, I'm going to have to breathe sooner or later," I said.
"I missed you," she replied sadly.
"I missed you too Katie," I said, and I ruffled her hair.
"Mommy, Daddy! Dwaynie's here!"
Mr. and Mrs. Callihan came into the hall where I was still standing
and they both grabbed me into a great bear hug.
"Dwaynie, you've grown so much!" Mrs.Callihan commented.
"Well, it has been four years Mrs.Callihan," I replied wittily.
"What's this Mrs.Callihan business? I'm Judy, remember?" she said,
still smiling.
"Ah, time's moving fast there Dwaynie," Mr.Callihan...I mean James
said.
"I made your favorite for dinner," Judy said. "I hope you still like
my..."
"Four cheese lasagna," I said.
"Great! You still like it!" Judy responds beamingly.
"Squirt?"
That voice....it belonged to Tyler's older sister Sharon. She was a
sophomore in college and she's called me squirt since I was a toddler.
"Shari?" I said.
And WAM, I was bombarded with another hug.
"Home for the holidays?" I asked.
"Yeah, taking a nice month off from college."
"Humboldt State or Chico?" I asked.
"Neither, I switched to Ponoma State. Guess Ty didn't fill you in
huh?"
"Honestly, we don't talked that much anymore," I said.
The whole family mumbles in agreement.
"Well," James said. "Let's move to the dining room, I think Tyler
just stepped into the shower."
"Oh, that's fine," I said. "I'll just hang with Katie here until we
eat."
Katie screams with delight.
"I'm glad to have you back here," says James.
"Thank you James, it's great to be back."
Dinner was being put on the table when Tyler came downstairs. He was
dressed in track pants, and a Ponoma State University sweatshirt.
"Glad to see you've made it here in one piece," he says commenting
on my appearance.
"Thanks," I mumbled back.
I sat down next to Katie (she insisted) and across from Tyler.
Great, I can stare at his face while I chew my food.
"Wow, we havne't had lasagna since..." Tyler began but didn't
finished.
"Since your twelfth birthday party," I finished.
Awkward silence.
"I remember this one time when I dressed you and Tyler up like girls
when I was babysitting," Sharon shares. "I was about 12 and you guys were
8...and I had to tie you guys down onto two chairs, because you didn't
want make up on."
Ah, the fond memories of cross dressing. More memories was dished
out at the table. Katie laughed at my stupidity, who doesn't? I could
sense Tyler getting uncomfortable. Suddenly, the conversation turned to
academics and well...girlfriends.
"Have you got yourself a girl yet?" James asked.
"Nope, just concentrating on my studies." I responded.
Oh, good answer, I said to myself. Beats telling them that I'm gay
and I would rather suck cock than lick tits or pussy.
"That's great!" James said. "I like a true scholar. Ty here is
working on a basketball scholarship into UCLA or Stanford, the "big"
guys." Emphasis on BIG.
"Basketball?" I said, giving Tyler an inquisitive eye.
"Very....what's the word...ambitious, I think..."
"May I be excused?" Tyler suddenly blurted out.
His whole family sat in silence and stared.
"Just put the plate in the sink," his mom said, still giving Tyler a
strange look.
"I'm just going to take a walk, I'll be back in a few minutes."
We could hear him walk down the hall and slammed the door closed
behind him.
"Was it something I said?" I asked.
James and Judy shook their head. "Something's been wrong with Tyler
lately," Judy began. "He just comes home and locks himself in his room
all day, he doesn't go out as much or have friends over. I think he
misses Clarissa, Ryan, and Jacob...and most importantly, you."
"Me?" I asked, almost squeaking.
"Oh yeah," Sharon said. "You were his best friend, and then now he
hangs out with these...people."
"The in-crowd," I said.
"More or less," Judy said sternly. "They're nice people, I'm sure.
But they are such a bad influence on Tyler."
"Maybe I should go check on him," James said. "It's been about five
minutes and I don't see him in the front yard."
"I'll go," I said placing my napkin down. "I have an idea where he
might have disappeared to."
"Alright, be safe," Judy said. "And don't forget a coat. It's
getting cold out there."
I put on my gloves and button up my coat and set out for this quiet
park by their house. Gardner Park, if i remembered correctly. A beautiful
park with a bridge that extends over a deep lake. It was a brief walk but
I saw him standing there. Leaning over the railing, he was ...thinking. I
approached him, he jumped at my presence.
"How did you know where to find me?" he asked.
"The bridge was where you'd always go when you wanted to think or
get away from the folks," I said, remembering this place he had learned
to love years ago.
"You still remember all that?" he asked.
"More or less," I said.
Something was wrong, I could feel it.
"What's wrong Ty?"
"Nothing Dway. Nothing important."
"Well, it must be if you had to come here to think. Plus, you're not
your sarcastic self....it's as if you're somewhat..."
"Human?" he finished.
"You said it, not me," I said.
"Yeah well," he said. "I don't feel human anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"I hang out with these moronic idiots that I call my friends, all
they care about is chicks, money, and sports. They just sit there and
make fun of everybody, as if they're kings of this world...and..."
"So you don't do all this stuff you're accusing them of?"
"Of course I do, there's nothing else TO do. Why am I telling you
all this? You could care less. Nobody cares about me anymore."
"Your family cares Ty, believe me, they care."
"MY FRIENDS DWAY!" he said, his voice rising. I could sense tears
about to erupt. "I don't HAVE any friends, I have no one to GROW UP
with...no one to tell my problems or....or secrets..."
"What secrets do you have?" I asked gently.
"Just secrets ok?" he snapped.
"Alright," I snapped back.
"There's just no point in living anymore," he said, leaning closer
against the bridge.
"Tyler..."
"If I disappeared off this face of the earth, it would do good for a
lot of people..."
Still teetering on the railing.
"Don't say that Ty."
"What do I have left Dway?" Tears spilling out of his eyes.
"Your family, your basketball scholarship..."
"FUCK my basketball scholarship...i won't be getting one...because I
don't play well enough for Stanford or UCLA or any of the "BIG"
guys....there, happy? Someone you despise and hate...has no future or
life...call THAT ambitious? Face it Ty, I wasn't meant to live..."
Teeter...Teeter....too far...
"Dw---"
My attention snapped up, I could see in slow motion...my ex-friend,
arch-enemy...someone I had spent my childhood with...I see Tyler, lost
and confused, spinning helplessly over the railing of the bridge...and I
blinked.
There, that was Chapter 1. I hope you have enjoyed it, again....e-addy is
macncheezaroni@aol.com. Write with any words of praise or criticism.
Again, write to say hi...couldn't hurt you! Chapter 2, coming soon.
~JeFF