History's gonna take a real dim view of the extent to which we were arsed about the colour of our travel documents. But all of that is, by definition, for another day. It's time to pick a team!

Longer queues at customs are brought to you by the colour blue.

And in the red corner, sissy snowflake cucks who've never even done a war.

Let's fight.

They're available in stores now, and at a quid a go sticking it to the other lot has never been more affordable. Though I do hope they've allowed room inside for all the additional visas and shit we'll be needing...