These writings are not those of a typical feminist – because I am writing not only from a critical view, but also as a form of catharsis, as a self-awakening from a heavy nightmare, into which I have ridden myself in the acceptance and condolence of abuse towards women and are now slowly opening my eyes while adjusting the brightness of seeing what is Here. So this is me rising myself – not rising against men or in defense of women. I am simply Here to speak that which has remained unspoken within and as myself and within and as this world. Within this article I am thus drawing from own observations and experiences as well as analyzing specific cultural and sociological traits relevant to gain an understanding of why women submit themselves willingly to the abuse and degradation by men and why we accept ourselves as societies and culture that does not honor or dignify ourselves as life. Let’s begin:

The other night a couple of girls were having a party at house next to mine. They were preparing themselves to go out clubbing and from my window, I could see how they were dressing themselves, putting on make-up and getting drunk, meanwhile music was playing with a thumbing bass out the window. I noticed that most of the songs they were listening to were these techno/house tracks with male singers and with lyrics sounding like “eat my ass bitch” in a monotone and generic fashion or it was female singers with lyrics such as “I wanna give it up to you”. I then embarked on researching this point a little further as I found it to be interesting and fascinating how these women were listening to music that was clearly degrading and misogynistic as though it was actually empowering.

Here were these girls, partying as ‘single women’, with ‘their own money’, ‘beautiful and free’ – for example compared to their great grandmothers, who were slave bound to kitchens, not allowed to vote, considered dumb and irrational simply for being a women or if we compare them to women in other cultures that do not have their own money, education or the cultural freedom to express themselves, for example sexually. And still they were listening to degrading abusive music with male voices singing to them to get ‘get on your knees’ or the infamous ‘suck my ass bitch’ as though it were a celebration of life. When I placed myself in their shoes, their immediate and conscious experience of themselves were as “power-women” – I mean, that was the game they were playing. “We’re players” “Women can be players as well” – and even though that is true, I can say from personal experience that this is also a matter of joining them, because you can’t beat them – and in this case it is the male dominant culture, where women are valuable and valuing themselves as objects for the attraction of men and where men are supposed to be tough and brutal, seen, defined and perceived as the ominous “Cool”.

“…see whore you're the kinda girl that I'da
Assault and rape and figure why not try to make your pussy wider
Fuck you with an umbrella then open it up while that shits inside ya”

Eminem in the song "Stay Wide Awake"

Jackson Katz, an anti-sexism activist writer describes it in these words:

“Is it truly possible that women's lives have been so thoroughly devalued that {Eminem} a multi-platinum musical artist with nine Grammy awards to his name can sing multiple songs about raping and mutilating women and hip sophisticates can't even bring themselves to utter the words "woman-hating?"[1]

Yes – it is most certainly possible, which the story above clearly exemplifies. Because when not only men degrade women, but when women also degrade themselves and when children are brought up to an implicitly immanent misogynistic culture – how can we expect ourselves to live any differently? There is this collective delusion in the wealthiest countries, that women have become liberated (hell that men have become liberated as well) - all conjured up in a comparison to cultures of past times, which apparently makes us liberated because we’re no longer stuck slaving in kitchens, carrying children on our arms and now instead can slave for cash at McDonalds or Wendy’. And obviously women can get abortions and divorces, but how exactly that’s ‘liberating’, remains the question.

So back to the story of the girls next door. As I placed myself in their shoes, I saw that they were, behind the roles of “liberated power women” who are “playing the game”, insecure, self-conscious human beings who were doing what they were doing specifically with the purpose of getting a man, either to have sex with or to love and hold – in both cases, for reproductive intentions.

How do I know this? I have been there and have done it myself. As a woman going out clubbing, your primary asset and value is your looks which has to meet specific standards or preferences. So these girls were constantly going from the living room where they were partying to the bedroom, both of which I could see from my window – to put make-up on and check their reflection. Some of the girls did this many times, many 10 or 20 times during the night of 4-5 hours before they were going out. And these girls were normal, standard, good-looking girls as one would imagine such. There was nothing out of the ordinary about them - and they would check their reflection in a certain way - with critical, sharp eyes of either approval or disapproval. And in the back-ground of the mind, the image of a man accepting them, loving them, feeding them with attention (or money and drinks) were constantly running like a movie in their head. They were drinking heavily as well, which people do to ‘uplift their spirits’ - basically to push beyond their own boundaries so that they become able to speak, dance, flirt and have sex.

As a girl and woman listening to this music, the ‘eat my ass bitch’ from before, the experience is that of being empowered, of being strong, invincible and specifically that of being a part of the male (superior) environment, showing the males that we can ‘match them’ and that we’re not whiny little sissies that can’t keep our liqueur sort of thing – is the psychology behind this point. I realized something fascinating a while back in relation to this point: that men do not specifically want woman to ‘match them’, meaning to be tough or strong – many men has a fantasy about a feminine, fragile virgin-like girl to whom they can either ravage or cherish or both, quite like many women has a fantasy about a beast of a man who fittingly ravages her or cherishes her like a delicate flower or both.

So this specific point is about women matching and attempting to empower themselves through matching the degrading nature of a male-dominant society – it is a quite strange application of self-empowerment. Yet – if we as women have seen men and what men represent and present themselves as, as free, empowered and self-authoritative, then that becomes our aim for empowering ourselves – because in a male dominated society, there are no alternatives. And I am not speaking here about strictly of male-dominant as being run by males – more that it is specific characteristics connected with being male that are pre-dominant and valued as such amongst all members of society, whether it degrades and enslaves them or not. So in terms of the discussion about the male-dominant society, it might as well be a man that is degraded and enslaved by, to fulfill a role by putting on a suit or pumping iron or suppressing himself and his self-expression.

So the topic here is not physical men vs. physical woman. That is exactly seen in how women, when attempting to empower themselves, will end up doing exactly the opposite. That is because our entire society and the systems within which we manage our lives, our bodies and our minds – are male-dominant. In this specific case, it is women who have actively taken upon themselves to enslave themselves and degrade themselves through participating in the degrading of women through music, fashion and social behavior – as though it was in fact empowering.

Women (or men) do have an alternative to empower themselves – because power in this current system is equivalent with brutality, abuse cynicism, ego and self-interest. Thus we’re Impulsed to shape and form ourselves as personalities in relation to this definition of power, which is why many relationships will exist within a reversed constellation where the woman dominates the man in exactly the same way as a man would have dominated a woman.

Therefore – it is time to give ourselves an alternative. Obviously in order to do so, we first of all have to understand how we’ve defined power, worth and value as it is – so that we can start redefining what power, worth and value is and should be, when it is no longer abusive and unequal.

You can read in the article, where I wrote about the enslavement of reproduction, and I will return to this in coming articles. I will also continue with investigating the male perspective in this, where males become equally enslaved to and within the point of degrading and abusing women and thus degrading and abusing themselves. For now I will remain with this point of how woman are trapped in a self-degrading and inverted chauvinism that is expressed through the example of music.

We shall here take a look at and analyze a brand this Katy Perry song. I am aware that Katy Perry most likely did not write this song, yet I am deliberately referring to it as such, because 1) there is a communal pretence that money-making-mainstream-music –performers DO write their own material and 2) because Katy Perry does let this song represent her – she is singing it - it is ‘a Katy Perry song’. I shall not analyze the entire song here, merely highlight some fascinating expressions that show how the acceptance of abuse towards women, is Impulsed and groomed into us via mainstream music that pretends to be innocent and harmless via it’s glossy exterior and it’s Disney- meets-Demon-like front-figures.

The song from Perry’s most recent album appropriately called “Teenage Dreams” is called E.T and it circles around the theme of Katy falling in love with an alien man. (Katy Perry, who got married to another celebrity, notorious playboy Russel Brand in an spiritual ceremony in India last year)

The song starts with a rap intro by the infamous Kayne West that lays the foundation for the perspective of the song presented as a ‘boyish’ tease, like the constant chase on the playground where the boys pull the girls pigtails and the girls scream. Yet – this is not children or teenagers who are presenting this – they are adult, successful artists with large audiences specifically in the segment of children and teenagers. And behind the boyish teasing, is a far more cynical and brutal truth about this and these types of songs and artists. The topic of why adult artists are making music targeted towards children within creating an entire ‘world’ around them as a fairytale, is another story for another time. Take a look at the lyrics here. This is the fantasy man that Katy Perry in these lyric’s dream universe is feverishly submitting herself to:

K[Kanye West]
“I got a dirty mind
I got filthy ways
I'm tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way
I'm a legend, I'm irreverent
I be reverand
I be so fa-a-ar up, we don't give a f-f-f-f-ck
Welcome to the danger zone
Step into the fantasy
You are now invited to the other side of sanity
They calling me an alien
A big headed astronaut
Maybe it's because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot”

So first Kayne calls himself a ‘reverend’ meaning the man who speaks the word of god to the clergy or the following of a specific church and later goes on to complimenting Katy for making him ‘the big man he is’ by him having anal sex with her. To that Katy Perry answers:

[Katy Perry]
“You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel

Here Katy are referring to the energetic reactions attached and played out – to which many people are addicted – between man and woman. The “electric” spark that is experienced. Here Katy has associated this to a specific man, a special man – that thus makes it even more intense. The man is thus placed on a pedestal sending the signal that such a man could exist, but also within polarizing and idealizing him to such a degree, she herself becomes implicitly inferior and irrelevant.

“They say be afraid
You're not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don't understand you”

There is here an entire topic on it’s own with the references to aliens and spirituality, which I will not discuss in this article, but merely mention as a point to consider critically.

“Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light”

This is a clear reference to the biblical “god” and the man is in this fantasy now uplifted to the status of a god.

Love is referred to as an infection and sperm as a poison which is from a certain perspective quite accurate, but the point that follows through her is the point of submitting oneself to abuse, to the desire and want to be abused, which clearly can be seen in the lyrics below:

“Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction”

The rest of the song goes on repeatedly in the same fashion and upon investigating more of the current music listened to specifically by teenagers and adolescents, these type of lyrics are not uncommon – quite the contrary. So the question is then if this is merely harmless wordplay or mating-games within a fantasy that is not supposed to be lived out into reality and if the average adolescent is so desensitized from seeing and hearing about rough sex that they do not take something like this seriously. Or if the desensitization is actually something that this music is indicative of, where we as human beings abdicate self-dignity and the ability to see others as equals and thus come to believe that we either have the right to treat others as objects or that we are no more worth than the objects we use without care.

I have as a woman - but even more so relevant, as a human being in this world, desensitized myself to abuse and suffering, to the abuse and suffering inflicted upon my own human physical body as well as the abuse and suffering within and as this world. I have found it easier to submit myself, because I believed and accepted that standing up was impossible – my world left me no alternatives. Yet when everybody says this, does this, creates this – we end up with a world of self-abdicated beings who are abusing each other and all claiming their freedom from responsibility.

I have realized for myself that the extend to which I have desensitized myself from what is here, specifically as suffering and abuse, is what has allowed it to escalate – because if it is not me, I cannot feel it, if it is not happening to me, I am not responsible, If I do not see it, I am not here as it.

I have realized that the extend to which I have desensitized myself is so vast that I require a total re-education of myself to actually re-learn how to care – not only about the world, about other life-forms and people, but equally about myself. Because self-abdication in all its various compromises is the self-degradation of separation that I have willingly submitted myself to.

Separation = Self-Abdication

When we return to the girls across the street in the house who were partying and getting ready to go out, they are themselves responsible for what they are doing - - they might even experience that nagging feeling of “why am I doing this, why am I compromising myself like this?” and then they look around and there is no alternative and everyone is doing the same and if they don’t do this they wont get a man and if they don’t get a man they stand no chance at getting that perfect life or at least surviving so that their genes can be transferred and they may live forever through the generations to come … WTF?

Is that the kind of human beings we want to bring into this world, continuously without end? Is surviving more important than being able to exist in self-dignity without being abused or abusing others? Unfortunately we have been programmed and have programmed ourselves to believe and accept this to be true to the extend where the this is infused into and as our bodies so that the mind sends an energetic surge or shock through the body a signal that it is time to get to work, to get that ass on the dance floor and mate at all costs and at any price – because the survival of the human species is our sole purpose in this world. And within that single point of self-abdication, have we collectively as men and women – as human beings – submitted ourselves to exist within and as the honoring of abuse instead of life, of being entertained by the suffering of others and in believing that the continuous enslavement of ourselves, is what freedom looks, feels and smells like - there at the bottom of the human physical body that has become the object of our blind devotion. We have truly become assholes of our own demise.

I am walking the Desteni ‘I’ Process to end all of this – within myself as within the world as a whole. I realize that I first must re-learn myself to take self-responsibility, to live dignified and principled, to not compromise or abuse myself, mentally or physically – to not submit myself to ideas or preprogrammed definitions about who I should be or what I should enjoy or desire or dislike. I realize that I have never really cared and even if I did, the world does not even facilitate human begins that do care.

This is not a world for human beings that care about life - and at Desteni, this is what we’re here to change – with the Desteni ‘I’ Process as the first step of self towards self-dignity and care for self as life and with The Equal Money System as the first step of humanity standing together as a group to Dignify All Life in Equality – so that we many bring forth a heaven on earth through the self-forgiveness and purification of abuse so that we may start trusting ourselves and each other to express and apply ourselves in real care and compassion for life.

Join us if you’re ready to unveil the world as we unveil ourselves – to stand up in self-dignity and to prepare the way for ourselves to embark on a journey of re-discovery of ourselves as sovereignty in self-exploration, expansion and equality with and as all life.

Since I turned 29 I have been experiencing an issue with age. When I see old people, I feel sad and desperate. What I see in them is that they have wasted their entire lives and now it is done and there is nothing they can do about it.

I have also experienced reactions when I see a newcomer coming to Desteni being a teenager and how they simply get it immediately. This is cool because now I am reacting again – with fear of not making it and specifically towards the point of walking absolute – of daring to walk absolutely with no looking back. That is exactly what I have not allowed myself to do.

The point in relation to older people having more difficulty making process I have dealt with quite sufficiently by simply seeing how it was an excuse as there are several people participating who are older than me.

So with regards to this point, what I have seen is that the point of fearing to miss out, of fearing to waste myself, I am facing myself in the self-dishonesty of having done and lived exactly that, not as a past point, but as something I am doing in this moment and in which I am compromising myself.

What I have also seen is that this entire point of age is closely linked to the reproduction point which I am currently busy working with uninstalling and reinstalling in common sense. It is also connected to a general survival point, where the most important aspect of existing is the survival of oneself and the species.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear getting old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear wasting my life

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear becoming old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being old and fragile

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear aging

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define myself according to age

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to react resonantly to the point of turning 29 as a point where I should have had children by now

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself as a failure because I do not have children

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself as too old for X

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of being old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I am old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive myself as old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the signs on my body of aging

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience desperation towards the experience of time running out

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear time running out

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear missing out on heaven on earth

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear missing out on the end of the world as we know it and the beginning of a new world

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that it is only as personality that I can fear aging, missing out, time running out because only as personality am I limited to time and only as personality am I finite

I end myself as finite and I embrace myself as infinite

I end myself as personality in time and I embrace myself as timeless

I am here

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear losing myself and thus within this I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, perceive, define and experience myself as a finite personality bound to time, instead of life living here limitlessly

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to react when I see old people by projecting my own fear onto them

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, experience, define and perceive old people as desperate, miserable and life wasted

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to face myself within the point of old people representing the fact that I have in deed wasted myself as life, living endless cycles after cycles of apparent meaning

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that life has a meaning in itself instead of realizing that life in itself is the meaning as there is no other meaning than who we are as life

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself for getting older

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to face and realize that I am going to die

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist facing that I am going to die

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear ending

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to waste myself as life on pointless living

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to live fully in every moment

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to embrace every moment fully

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to stand, walk and live absolute

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to limit myself to age

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to limit myself to the constriction of a life-cycle as age

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to allow myself to limit myself to the point of age

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to embrace myself as ageless

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define myself according to age

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to control time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to attempt to control time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to attempt to control myself in and through time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I could control time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of telling people that I am 29

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge and define 29 as old and as "going on 30" as old

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge and define myself as aging

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of being aging

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive, accept and believe myself to be subject and inferior to time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive, accept and believe time to be superior to me

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear losing time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive myself as losing time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I must hurry and rush to get it all done, instead of trusting myself and perfecting myself with what I am doing within and as the moment

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to perfect myself and to dedicate myself to participate fully and carefully within the moment of breath

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive and experience it to be more important to get as much done as possible and within and through that, having justified not bringing myself back to breath in self-forgiveness.

When I was four years old, I clearly remember a situation where I was forced by the care-takers on my kindergarten to knit a key chain. I resisted every moment of it. The point for them, was to teach me to sit down and do something, because I was always on the move, always moving around. It was a sort of signature of my childhood.

Actually I felt uncomfortable when I sat down and did nothing or specifically when I had to do something that took effort and time. I saw it as a waste of time. I felt trapped. This has basically become a way of living for me, because ever since, I have resisted doing that which I am not good at and specifically that which takes time, patience and dedication. I have for several years had a theory that it is about me running away from myself, existing as a propelling forward and when I stop, I am faced with myself. It has become a way of surviving through suppressing myself here. This is why it is so assisting for me to discipline myself, structure myself and to work consistently with a project until it is done.

I have chickened out of facing myself directly, in silence and in “simply being here” as well as in the point of dedicatedly learning a skill. With the excuse of this being “boring”, “hard work” and that I am “inadequate” to do it. I have never allowed myself to learn anything that took a long time to learn and that was difficult. I have had a direct aversion against such points – actually fear.

When I was a child I wanted to learn how to knit and when I heard about the “obligations” of what it required, I lost interest in it. This is but one example of the many, many points I have started only to quit immediately as I realized that it would take effort to succeed within and become effective at.

When looking at it now, I feared being enslaved to the point of knitting – the commitment of it and I also feared walking the process. I was also simply lazy – I did not want to put in the work. I wanted everything ready here and now and if it was not, I feared missing out. It is this propelling forward point again – more, faster, quicker. And in this it has been about consuming the world, gaining or about impressing others – not about the joy of knitting itself – or that is what my initial starting-point was, but I dismissed myself within that. In fact I have dismissed myself this entire time.

Self-Forgiveness and investigation on the point of resisting "Hard Work"

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being alone with myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to feel uncomfortable when I am alone with myself without a point of stimulation

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that being “with” myself indicates that I have perceived myself as separate from myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from myself and within doing so perceive myself as either with or without myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to be without myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive myself as “with” myself, only because I have created a point of separation as being “without” myself

I experience fear because I am not satisfied with my realizations in writing. I want more.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to get back to how I was writing before

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect more of myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect less of myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to condition, define, judge and perceive myself according to the past

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compare myself to how I perceive myself in the past

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compete with a past image and self-definition of and as myself

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to push through the resistance towards writing myself out in self-honesty and I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make excuses, justifications and for having deceived and manipulated myself through thoughts and emotions to give up on myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept fear as my friend and protector

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe, define and experience the experience of fear as energy and a knot in my stomach as a signal that there is danger a-head, when in fact all there is, is the mind and how I either accept myself as the mind or not

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to write as compared to an image of myself from the past and thereby and within that condition myself, separate myself from myself here

I write Here – I am Here – I will not allow myself to compete because I do not accept winning and losing as the premise for my existence as it has proven itself useless.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist writing based on a resistance towards walking process to the end within and as an expectation of process to be “long and hard”

It was exactly the same as when I was child and wanted to learn to play guitar, knit, play handball and other points – I gave up immediately within looking at the prospects of the process of actually learning the skills. I have used this pattern and/personality to give up on myself in this process. It is the same when I have looked at the SF required to stop the mind and start birthing self as life and when I have looked at the MC – it looked “too hard” – that it was going to “take too long”. And I have refused to face myself in this because I have been ashamed that this is who I really am – lazy and a coward.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame my mother for having allowed me to become a lazy coward

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to abdicate myself in and as having allowed myself to become a lazy coward by abdicating self-responsibility and projecting the responsibility for me having allowed myself to become a lazy coward onto my mother

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge and define myself as a lazy coward

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to take the point of being a lazy coward personally, instead of realizing that it is a specific personality-construct in the general self-enslavement and separation that I have allowed myself to be and become

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up on myself immediately upon facing a point that is not easy for me to excel in and which I have to practice patiently and consistently before seeing the results I want

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist as impatience

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear and resist that which I cannot easily control or direct

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to excel only in that which I already found easy

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist within and as a constant state of self-abdication and giving up on myself

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that when I said no to learning knitting, I was in fact giving up on myself within not wanting to waste time learning a skill

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and fear that I would be wasting time by learning a skill or dedicating myself to learning something

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear missing out of something else, were I to commit myself to a specific project or point

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to regret and feel disappointed in myself for not having allowed myself to dedicate myself to learn a skill or dedicate myself to a point

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to be everywhere at once and for fearing to tie myself to one point or one expression and thereby missing out on others – instead of realizing that it is within this fear and desire that I have enslaved myself already

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear not being good at something

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the experience of not knowing how to direct or solve a point

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deliberately resist points of difficulty because of the experience I had when faced with such points

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create, manifest and participate in an experience of inferiority towards that which I do not already know how to do and therefore avoid doing it to not have to feel inferior

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear not being in control of my reality and therefore having deliberately avoided all points I did not quickly understand so to hold my “head above water” at all times and not risk “drowning” – instead of realizing that by allowing myself to be directed by fear, to suppress myself, to resist facing myself, to restraint and limit myself to follow this fear, I was in fact “drowning” in not allowing myself to expand

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify to myself not pushing through the fear and resistance to learn something that requires dedication, time and patience, by believing it to be a waste of time and by devaluating it

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to waste so much of my life resisting that which I find difficult instead of pushing through the point and pushing myself to learn until I am self-directed within the specific point at hand

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist learning and expanding myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see and define learning as a waste of time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist as a waste of time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create a positive self-defined personality of being against the system, specifically within and as, in relation to going to school and learning – and I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use that as an excuse for not facing myself within and as the fear of that which I am not already good at or that which I find easy already

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear hard work

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of fearing hard work

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see myself with the eyes of others and within that judge myself as a spoiled, ungrateful brat – instead of realizing that it is purely me seeing myself as such

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to give myself a chance to learn something

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to be patient with myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to excel and thus refuse all and anything where I did not immediately excel

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear hard work within and as perceiving hard work as enslaving and thereby misunderstanding the point of enslavement in this world, which is not the work itself but the system within which it exists and who and what we are within that

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist and avoid hard work because it is hard

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist and avoid all and everything that I perceive as “hard” or “difficult”

I Forgive myself that I have never Accepted and Allowed myself to live and express the expression of pushing through resistance fully and unconditionally

I Forgive myself that I have never Accepted and Allowed myself to live and express myself in and as the expression of stamina

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define, accept, perceive and judge myself as “someone without a spine”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to want life to be easy, enjoyful and fun, but without wanting to do the work to ensure this

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up immediately on myself when something is not as easy as I want it to be

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive, see and define “hard work” as negative.

Through this writing I have been wondering where this point originates from – because it is clearly to do with the word “hard work” and specifically in relation to that work, I see how I defined and perceived my mom as hard working and all I saw was how she was tired and enslaved to this work, how it was fucking up her body and how we were both compromised because of it. So that explains somewhat my aversion against “hard work”. But this is only one layer of the point, because the point of refusing to dedicate and discipline myself is not about that. It is interesting how my schooling was actually supporting the point. Often with these points however there is a specific memory or trauma that has triggered this specific behavior, but I cannot identify it. I remember this point as I mentioned already as far back as 4 years old. So it might have emerged even before that, as a “who I am”.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate “hard work” with the memory of my mother working at the eldery home when I was a small child and how she hated the work and her own experience of herself at the time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to limit, condition and enslave myself to define, perceive, judge and experience hard works as negative and bad associated to how I saw my mother when I was a child.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from ‘hard work’ as persistent application and pushing through in working in and as the physical

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear becoming my mother within and as her experience of herself as I perceived her when I was a child –and therefore and thereby having resisted, refused and avoided all I perceived as possibly being “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved, losing myself, being in pain, being bored, having to compromise myself were I to do “hard work” OR do something which I do not find enjoyable or easy.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to enslave and limit myself to only be motivated and only move myself to do that which I already perceive as fun and easy

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate working dedicated and patiently and which required pushing and discipline and consistently with “hard work” and because I perceived “hard work” as negative, I did not allow myself to work as such.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved and trapped if I am to do that which I have perceived, defined and judged as“hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear losing myself if I do that which I have perceived, defined and judged as“hard work” “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, define, judge and experience all actions and work that is not immediately fun and easy as “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resent “hard work” because I resent what “it did” to my mother, instead of realizing that it was not the work that “did it” to my mother, but my mother who allowed herself to feel enslaved and miserable

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the existence of “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resent that there exists such a thing as “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate “hard work” with men working in a coal mine or children working with rocks as slaves and Chinese factory workers that work 24/7

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved to hard work

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear facing “hard work” as it exists as that which we as humans are forced to do, where we directly abuse and deteriorate the body

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept the existence of “hard work” as it exists as abuse and exploitation

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that much of the comforts and pleasures that I can enjoy are a direct result of someone else’s “hard work” in which they’re enslaved and forced to work to survive and abuse themselves in order to survive – and I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that the comfort I have been able to enjoy is directly made possible by the fact that others are working as slaves to survive

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to face myself within and as the implications of “hard work” in and as this world and why it exists the way it does – as a direct consequence of the capitalistic system of inequality

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist deliberately in ignorance of the suffering of those that “work hard” because they have no choice and who’s working-conditions are fucked so that others can feel and be rich.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear and resist an refuse to face myself within and as the inequality in which “hard work” exists

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself for having allowed myself to exist within and as justifying inequality through deliberate ignorance and self-deception

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having allowed myself to exist within and as justifying inequality through deliberate ignorance and self-deception

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify myself within and as deliberately ignoring inequality and abuse within and as “hard work” as it exists in and as this world, through the desire to live an easy and comfortable life

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having justified abuse and suffering through the desire to live an easy and comfortable life

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame myself for having deliberately ignored suffering as dismissible and not concerning me

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that within and as resisting, denying and fearing “hard work”, I was in fact fearing myself as the manifestation of deliberate abuse and inequality as exploitation through capitalism that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as well as the cowardice through which I have “tackled” this point by sticking my head in the sand and making all kinds of excuses as to why I should not face this suffering, abuse and inequality directly and within self-responsibility

I stand one and equal with and as the abuse that I have allowed through justifying inequality and within that exploitation as “hard work” of some for the benefit of others.

I do not want to live in a world, where some are forced to allow themselves to be abused and exploited in order to exist and where others are deliberately ignoring the fact that their comfort and pleasure and easy living is only made possible by the suffering of others.

Re-definition of “hard work”

My personal interpretation of “hard work” is related to the idea of “hard work” within and as the society, where “hard work” on one hand is considered admirable and honorable and on the other side “hard”. “hard work” is within this also associated to someone who is dedicated, pushing forward and who has stamina – perhaps even initially referring to physical workers, but transmuted into all areas of work and study : “she was a hard-worker” – is a positive expression. So one side of it, does in fact refer to the enslavement of working, referring to physically hard labor. And the other side is referring to a character-trait with a person. I’ve then created a mixed version of the word.

But: to redefine the work, it makes no sense that being dedicated and pushing oneself is defined as “hard” – so I see no reason that this word requires to keep existing, except for referring to physically strenuous labor that requires physical strength. That is the common sense definition that is not polarized.

The point in relation to me here, is more referring to the act of someone pushing themselves through an activity that is not necessarily easy and the motion of pushing in itself as well. But I would like to all that something else.

I do not yet have a specific word for this but I know exactly what it means.

I dedicate myself to push through this and to not accept myself to limit myself to perceiving specific work a specific way.

AS LONG AS IT TAKES – WHAT EVER IT TAKES – UNTIL IT IS DONE

This is my new motto of application.

'Easy Living' is not supposed to be at the expense of others - In fact that is not cool or acceptable in any way what so ever. Easy Living is supposed to be easy because it is enjoyable for all. Because no one is forced to work or to abuse themselves to survive.

When I was reading through your Self Forgiveness about fear of aging and fear of ‘missing out’ on something, and as I was reading it as myself, I looked at myself – and realized that with regard to the point of fearing to apparently ‘miss out’ on something in my process I had a moment that was a lot like that scene in Fight Club where Tyler Durden and Edward Norton are driving in the rain in the limousine and Tyler lets go of the wheel and is saying to Edward Norton “stop trying to control everything and just let go” — a moment where I just like, ‘stopped caring’ from a certain perspective, about what the outcome may be – for example, crashing and driving off the road, lol – ‘caring’ as defined by caring about ‘preserving myself’– because, that’s really what the fear of aging is, and the desire for youth — you’re actually wanting to preserve yourself — in order to apparently ‘live to experience’ some preserved idea of something that is going to ‘happen’ — but how could you actually experience heaven on earth if you are trying to preserve yourself? lol – what gets preserved? mummies, fruits, ancient artifacts, fossils – lol. Preserves are stored in jars, caskets, entombed in stone. Stop trying to preserve yourself and ‘just let go’ – stop trying to control the outcome of yourself and ‘just let go’. Life is Here – not in the future. Don’t have knowledge of yourself. Watch fight club!
Matti

3 years ago, I stopped smoking weed after having smoked for 15 years when I found Desteni. Before that I had used all kinds of “supplements” to stop smoking, went to rehab and nothing worked. Every time I stopped, I experienced immense withdrawal where I would even vomit and get a fever.

When I found Desteni, I realized that everything I experienced was my own creation and that I was creating my experiences myself from within and as the mind.

So when I finally stopped smoking weed, there was no thoughts, no withdrawal of any kind – it was in one moment and I never again looked back – because I finally understood that I was the starting-point of my addiction and by directing and changing myself, I could stop any addiction.

Essentially all addictions are addictions to and off the mind – yet they’re infused into the physical where we use the physical “need” as an excuse for why we’re abdicating ourselves to the addiction. But the “need” is never real – because it is a not physical requirement but based on a mind-created “lack” that is not real.

As Destonians we are living proof that it is possible to stop all addictions through stopping the addiction to and as the mind – that we can in fact live here, directly in and as the physical without the mind as a “judge” or “referee” or “middleman” to direct and sort reality for us through memories, fears, desires, thoughts and experiences.

Join the Desteni I Processwhere we free ourselves from the reigns of our own minds. Everyone can participate regardless of prior education or economic situation - there is a solution for everyone.

The following is a real life story as a practical example of how existing in the mind makes you a liability: The other day I was out walking with the cats and was coming from a starting-point of being emotional. I even took the walk specifically at that time within a consideration that it would be cool to take a walk and clear myself and apply self-forgiveness.

As I walked out it was a usual day walking the cats. I had planned also to make some phone calls while I was there and the cats seem to enjoy when I am simply doing my thing and they are doing theirs and they simply know where I am. As I was making my first call, Flicky had climbed up into a tree, out onto a thin branch and was hanging in her arms about to fall. So I grabbed her and hung up my phone call realizing that I did not have situation under control. In addition there was a truck pulling up close to where we were and the cats got spooked by that as well. I still had not cleared myself and was instead suppressing the emotional turmoil and pushing it and myself away by simply pushing forward. I noticed that the cats where jumpy and started walking our daily route thinking that it would make them calm down.

But as we walked into the forest, one of the other cats came. I am not sure if it is in fact aggressive or if it is displaying a point of “natural” dominance that is integrated in cat-relationships. All I know is that I don’t like seeing that (big bully –lol ) cat lashing out at my little ones. Total mother-system-demon activation there. She started lashing out and chasing the little ones that ran in opposite directions Flicky into a tree as she always does and Cheaky more trying to simply avoid being tossed around by this big cat. I actually yelled at her and tried getting her to leave, but she is persistent and I am quite sure that it is more a matter of curiosity and sociability than it is actual aggression or hostility – lol – those are also more human traits.

So I walked up the mossy cliffs where we usually walk and as I was walking backwards, I experienced myself more and more stressed and emotional, yet I again dismissed it as an automated reflex. I called for the cats to come so that we could get away from the big cat and simply take our daily stroll.

They were not coming and I took another step backwards. I suddenly fell. I was a completely surreal experience – I had taken a step back, being completely in a one-dimensional mind-set and now I had fallen off the cliff and was standing in muddy water covering my boots. I quickly got out of there and was a little in shock. Not so much that it had happened. There was no fear involved with the physical experience itself; it was simply wet and cold. No pain involved. But I was in shock of how “not here” I had been. Of how I have literally “fallen of a cliff” due to me not being aware here. After that my boots were wet, inside and out and it was quite cold out so I thought that it would be best, since I did have the flue to go in.

So I grabbed the cats while still being in a state of emotional possession. Cheaky squirmed. He did not want to go in already as we had just gotten outside. He also possibly reacted to me being completely unstable and therefore not safe to be holding both cats while walking down a slippery slope covered in moss. So he jumped out of my arms and landed on the ground in a bad way, not in that elegant cat like way where they turn in the air. I put Flicky down and I started crying and I felt so guilty that I had taken my shit out on the cats, by simply not being here, by allowing myself to be emotional and reactive and instead of sitting myself down and stopping I just kept going.

So I actually ended up taking a long walk with the cats where I applied SF and breathed myself back here. They immediately responded by also being their normal self and not being scared or run away from me. Interestingly enough – where dogs seem to emphasize with humans that are sad or emotional, cats seem to see it as a liability and actually rather stay out of your way. They do however also two minutes later come and ask you to play as to say; “oh that – that was nothing, just snap out of it so we can play and have fun now”.

The cats are extremely supportive from this perspective as they’re often through their very Beingness showing me who and what it is that I have not allowed myself to live – self-trust, self-acceptance, self-comfortability, self-enjoyment. All characteristics of the cats that can as easily be applied and lived by and as the human, if only we will get out feet back on the ground, breathe and stop the mind.

Existing in your mind makes you a liability. It makes you do and say all kinds of crazy shit and it makes you totally untrustworthy to yourself and those around you. It makes it difficult if not impossible to take self-responsibility, because you’ll be coming from a starting-point of self-delusion, of paranoia and experiences of energy as polarity that’ll take you from highs to lows to highs again, like a freaking carousel ride from hell. That is what human beings are currently living. And it is time to stop the spin and get back here, so that we can take care of – and start caring for – the world that is here.

A couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to join Eckhart Tolle, as he came to speak in Denmark. My friend and I saw that he was coming several months prior to that and decided to go and see him and hopefully talk to him. In spite of both of us being quite poor, my friend was a single mother with a small child and I was a student, we saved up the equivalent of 250 Euro or 370 US $ that the ticket to see Tolle costed. Both of us had prior to this read “The Power of Now” and at that stage I had started reading “A New Earth” as well. So you can say that we were hardcore Tolle fans, although my friend was (and as far as I know still is) a bigger fan than me.

I was fascinated by the story of how Eckhart Tolle became Eckhart Tolle, meaning how he got from being a German College nobody to being a spiritual guide for millions of people (not to mention a very rich man). At the time I was very interested in disengaging the personality as I perceived to be in the way of “the real me”. Tolle both supported that view, but also nuanced it by saying that we should accept ourselves unconditionally. That sounded good to me. However what I have only realized recently, was that I was even more fascinated by how Tolle had achieved the status he had. I secretly desired becoming a guru, a superhero, a star and of course having a lot of money, in such a way where no one would blame me for it and where I would go to sleep with a good conscience.

If there are any readers out there who are familiar with Tolle’s work and life (perhaps more than me), you will know that he was a university professor teaching in Germany at the time where he had his “enlightening” break-through. He was miserable with his life, at the brink of suicide and suddenly he experienced himself breaking into two parts. After that he was more or less enlightened and the story goes that he spent the next two years or so in a state of permanent bliss, sitting on a park bench. He sat there until a publisher, who had felt drawn to him, came and gave him a lot of money and an opportunity to write a book. (At least that is how I remember reading the story)

I went to Tolle’s website to double check this story and here the description is even more vauge:

“At the age of 29, a profound inner transformation radically changed the course of his life. The next few years were devoted to understanding, integrating and deepening that transformation, which marked the beginning of an intense inward journey.”

So he had this amazing experience, which I was extremely fascinated of. In my eyes he had so easily broken free of the chains of personality, experience and even the runt of an everyday life. So he became my roll model in that sense, rather than his teachings actually “speaking” to me. Believe me, I tried. I tried feeling it, being it and I did practice the exercises that Tolle suggested. But looking back at my experiences with Tolle, it was as much an inner as an outer scam.

Back to the day where I ‘met’ Eckhart Tolle. My friend and I arrived at the place where Tolle would speak, which was a huge concert hall in the center of Copenhagen. Thousands of people were there, mostly women, and some men and slowly the room filled up. I applied within myself a reverent expression, and I saw others doing the same. At the same time I was struggling inside myself with “feeling it”. I had previously gone to spiritual conventions and often felt cheated in that most of it were clearly created for profit, yet pretending to be “enlightened” and benevolent. It made me sick, but I kept going.

I had a similar experiences with the Tolle event, especially cause I had spent so much money on seeing him. So I mustered a serene an calm feeling and sat down waiting for “the man himself to arrive”. I could see below me further down on the front seats a row of celebrities that I knew from TV and the tabloids. They also looked very serene, yet in an elitist “front-row” kind of way. If I recall correctly, one of them was wearing sunglasses.

Then he came out, Tolle and he talked and it was difficult to hear what he was saying. I tried getting some of his energy, by sort of awkwardly ”opening myself up” to him, but it did not really work. I could not feel it and afterwards I blamed myself and believed that there was something wrong with me because I was not able to “feel it” and get a profound spiritual experience from listening to Tolle (and after having paid that much money). Soon after that, I stopped reading Tolle’s books and I slowly but surely started realizing how I had in fact deceived myself into a major self-delusion through the “support” of Eckhart Tolle’s books and the entire movement that he represented. I realized that what I required was to be self-honest with and as myself. That is another story.

Now – if one goes to Tolle’s website, the very first point that springs in ones eyes, is the sentence “Creating a new world together”. When I was a Tolle-Follower, I believed that we were in fact changing the world, through following Tolle, through meditating and “accepting myself unconditionally” and essentially applying the Buddhist principle of avoiding desires and separating oneself from the mental experience of self.

However, if we have a self-honest look at the world – which is simply to look at what is here, physically and in fact – it is clear that the world is not going to change from us drawing ourselves back into ourselves and refrain from standing self-responsible for this world through separating ourselves from what is Here.

I realized this within and as myself, when I started simply applying self-honesty and for the first time in years were able to move myself and accelerate my process. Until then I had followed teachings such as Tolle’s that actually supports people to separating themselves from who and as how they’ve allowed themselves to exist and within that supporting them to abdicate self-responsibility. At the same time there is an entire hype that “we ARE changing the world” and “we ARE raising consciousness” – and it was within that I started blaming myself because I was not “feeling it”. No wonder I was not feeling it – it is not real.

Changing reality starts with actually changing the reality of and as ourselves within standing self-responsible for all and everything we exist within and as – to do this we require to bring all of ourselves together, not to separate ourselves into parts – which is ironic as Tolle and the entire movement promotes ‘oneness’ – but the problem is that this oneness is disregarding equality and thereby ends up being oneness of and as deception – a coming together in a mutal deceptive oneness.

This can clearly be seen within my ‘encounter’ with Eckhart Tolle – how more than 2000 people were gathered, all paying a large sum of money simply to hear Tolle speak. It can also be seen within how it was pop culture celebrities for whom the front rows were reserved for. It can also be seen within my experience of pretentious serenity and reverence that I most likely shared with every other person in that room. Where is “the world” that we are apparently changing in any of this? Where is it really in Tolle’s words? When do any of the Tolle followers actually stand up for Life in self-honesty?

Several videos on Youtube from different (Destonian) users criticizing Tolle has been removed from Youtube on a claim of Copyright infringement from the “Tolle Movement” – since Youtube complied and since there is an industry of spirituality behind Tolle, we can (at least polemically) conclude that this means that one is not allowed to question ’the establishment’ of capitalist-lightworkers because within doing so, one might risk to expose the scam that spirituality is and has become.

I was deceived by Eckhart Tolle – but I was really deceived by myself. I allowed myself to deceive myself because I preferred having closed eyes. I preferred a program where I could conveniently within a belief that I was changing the world, sustained by an millions of people around the world doing the same (albeit only the middleclass Elite) yet continue to exist in and as abdication of self-responsibility. Eckhart Tolle as such ironically represents the system of inequality, deception and separation. Therefore, when you got a capitalist-lightworker like Echart Tolle against you, you know you’re in the ‘right spot’ and should simply keep on doing what you are doing.

I AM ONE VOTE FOR A DIRECT WORLD – WITH NO SPIRITUAL MIDDLE-MEN

I AM ONE VOTE FOR AN EQUAL MONEY SYSTEM – TO ENSURE THAT THE ONENESS WE LIVE, IS EQUAL AND DIGNIFIED FOR ALL LIFE.

Do you participate in sports to win or to have fun? Is it okay to lose so that others can win and is it okay that others lose so that you can win? Do you see yourself as a winner or a loser?

Within looking at the element of competition that is inherent within sports, there are two points that are embedded in the polarities of winning and losing. These are currently what we are competing for.

One is money, as can be seen within the prizes, salaries and grants that are given to “top athletes” when they win. The other is honor, which can be seen for example starting with the ancient Olympic Games and how the winners were rewarded with laurel leaves wreaths and applauded by the crowd and how certain athletes today are worshipped as heroes, even though their accomplishments are limited to winning a match on a soccer field or in a tennis court. Through this most people on Earth support all forms of competition that allows one to either win or lose.

Within investigating the origin of the word compete, we shall see that it is not the point of competition itself that is unacceptable or not best for all, but instead what happens when competition is made into a form of war, where people must fight each other, even in sports, to survive in the system. This is because the system is designed this way and because everyone accepts the conditions pertaining to it. Thus competition as it exists currently is based on an acceptance of the possibility of either winning or losing where, because we want to win, we accept the possibility of losing and thus accept loss as a valid element in our system. Furthermore, the validation of competition as a basic element of the system is the belief that we must fight each other’s to survive. The ones best at surviving wins. This is what has transcended into sports where the seriousness of survival in our everyday lives is turned into drama and entertainment in sports.

Historically competition has been seen as a natural instinct of survival that is inherently existent within humans as well as animals and plants. Competition has been seen as a point of natural selection that exists to prevent unbalances and decrease in the genetic development of an organism.

One of the most famous references to competition has been Darwin’s concept of “survival of the fittest.” That Darwin in the same moment said “…for mutual aid”[1], has been disregarded and perhaps devalued. It is from this perspective clear that there is an element to competition where the competitors not only compete against each other but actually also with each other.

The word ‘compete’ stems from Latin and contains two definitions of which one has become more dominant as we have shown. This pertains to the fighting aspect of competition and the other pertains to an aspect of competition that is based on agreement and a coming together.

We will therefore here distinguish between these two perspectives on competition, one being aggressive and destructive where there can only be one winner and a loser and the other that focuses on a mutual agreement and corporation.

Adam Smith who was famous for promoting ‘friendly competition’, perceived the concept of friendly competition as the foundation for the free markets and their agents’ ability to move freely. From this perspective competition is seen based on the idea that the mutual agreement to compete is in everyone’s best interest and that everyone will win. [3] This fits with one element of the original Latin definition where competition is something we do together. It is thus also interesting to note that Smith’s ideal society where everyone competes as equals is far from the reality of the free markets we see today. Therefore we are required to look even further at the notion of competition within economy where the market is portrayed as a playground where each compete as equals, exactly as it is also portrayed in sports, to understand why and how competition is lived differently than it is defined.

When looking further into nuancing competition as either friendly or not, specifically in relation to the money system, we must face that “…we have built war into our society’s economic design as competition” as noted by the Danish Philosopher Knud Ejler Løgstrup[4]

According to Løgstrup it is vital to distinguish between competition as a “hardcore fight” and competition as something encouraging, mutual and fun. For Løgstrup it is the element of playing and having fun that is relevant in competition, and which validates competition, for example in the school system, where the purpose is not to win, but to test one’s boundaries - exactly as in the original definition of “striving together”.

To understand why it is not so in fact, we require distinguishing between voluntary and forced competition, which is particularly interesting in relation to the definition of competition as a basis for the free market money systems because that is, as in Adam Smith’s definition, validated and legitimized through the idea of all being equal in participation. Because when looking upon the actual living out of the free market money system, it is clear that all do NOT have an equal opportunity to participate. In fact that opportunity is rather fictive and theoretical that pertaining to any real situation. Thus the money system as it exists today, actually defies competition as something mutual.

When competition is forced and not agreed to from an equal starting-point, the people participating are not equals. This is the money-system we exist within and it is not a game.

We do not have equal opportunities to participate in the money systems (or anywhere) and therefore it is not a game where everyone has fun. The same can be said about how sport exists, as sport is directly reflecting the rest of the world systems as sport exist dependent upon these systems. In fact, sport as it exists today, has more to do with generating money than with having fun. It has more to do with winning honor in the form of money, than participating in or watching sport from a starting-point of self-enjoyment.

So why is forced competition, for example through how sport, generally supported by governments and politicians and accepted as valid? And if the money-system is indeed liberating and based on a free market, why are all not equally able to participate?

According to Løgstrup it is the State that is responsible for ensuring that the forced competition were restricted and regulated, exactly because a society’s economy and institutions are dependent upon the policy decided by the politicians. He says that: “when it is the State, that with its education (of children) delivers its most important factor for production, more important than land and capital, that is, the scientific and planning intelligence, should the State then not also decide the goal for that production?”[5]

Thus the State sets the frame for the structure of society and through this directs society in a specific direction. The State can then both oppress and support initiatives through its interventions, for example in the education system. We are currently existing within a system that on one hand claims to be “free” and “liberal” and that “everyone is equally participating”, yet in practice it is exactly the opposite. In the schools children are forced to compete with the goal of becoming successful adults which essentially means “make a lot of money”. People do sports specifically in the hopes of becoming one of the few that makes lots of money and will do anything to themselves (and their children) in order to fulfill this dream. More than half the world’s population is more or less excluded from even participating in the education system and therefore from even participating in the competition. In all areas of life in the current money-system, competition is based on fighting against each other as that is the basis for the money-system itself.

The entire system as we all participate in it, promotes the idea that “anyone can win” for example through inserting and supporting a few poor people to be the stars and heroes of sport teams, giving anyone who could possible identify with that person a hope that they too can become famous, adored and make lots of money. Therefore, the system supports inequality through competition and those representing the system as the politicians are merely placing the policies that will keep the system running, exactly as the corporations will run on a momentum of having to make more and more money to keep running.

So the State is responsible for ensuring effective policies to restrict competition that does not support mutual agreement’s, yet the State as the governments and politicians are merely reflecting and representing us as human beings and the system with which we’ve agreed to manage our lives. Thus we are in fact all equally responsible for how we live and exist as fighting each other while we could in fact be existing in such a way, where competition merely is a way of playing where we come together and test our boundaries in a mutual and equal agreement.

In an Equal Money System, sports will not be based on winning or losing money or honor, because our system will not be based on having to fight each other to survive. Nor will it be based on winning or losing honor as all life will be honored equally. This means that sports will become much more focused upon the physical experience and expression as well as the actual self-enjoyment and perfection of skills in the particular sports that one is interested in. We will most likely see much more top-athletes as those that exist currently are restricted and excluded so that a point of a “hero” is held in place, to give everyone the perception that they too can “make it”, yet where very few actually are able to make money on doing sports. Some might also stop participating in the sport they have been participating in, because they were paced and pushed by their parents.

Thus we will see a return of competition through sport as a mutual and equal agreement to come together to test one’s boundaries and expand ones skills and expression. To see what this will be like, all we have to do is to look at small children and how they compete without being concerned with winning and simply participate to enjoy themselves and each other in and as a physical expression of self. So If there is a sport you have always wanted to participate in, yet have refrained from either because you could not afford it, did not have time or perhaps refrained from because of the element of malevolent competition, you will in an Equal Money System be able to try and express yourself within any form of sport and enjoy the expression of others without fearing that they will win over you. Finally we will be able to have real fun and to perfect ourselves within the dreams we have always dreamt of living out and as, whether being snowboarding down the alpes or simply having a field to play soccer on. An Equal Money System will be an entirely new world on Earth, because it will be based on equal self-responsibility where we will all direct the system as equals according to what is best for all.