Hi Jan7,
Thank you for posting the info about why couple’s counselling does not work. The extract from that article makes a very important point: the abuser is likely to become more skilled at manipulating his victim after counselling. My SP ex used to tell me that he did Masters of Psychology (a lie) and every time I did or said something that displeased him, he used psycho lingo to get his way: e.g. saying it was my insecurities, anger at my parents, unresolved childhood issues, fear of failure, etc etc.
My friends he did not approve of were also described in psycho lingo designed to prevent my contact with them. Most of the women in his prior life were described as psychopaths.
In his final email to me I was described as a somatic naricissist (a spot on description of himself just forgot to add “and sociopath”).
I did not even try couples counselling but it would not have been successful (I tried it with my son’s father and it did not work; the family report for the custody litigation described the father as “accused his former wife of many shortcomings but did not admit any of his shortcomings”.).