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Has Anyone Ever Met a Good Cop?

I have questions for the women out there who have been victims of domestic abuse and called the police.

If you watch the show "Cops", they are shown protecting women in these cases. If she will press charges, they arrest him. If she's too brain-washed or scared to press charges, they at least tell him to go away for the night to cool down. They try to convince her to leave him. They are polite and concerned for her.

Question 1: have you ever had a cop come out and act like that? Have they ever helped you in any way?

2: Have you ever had a cop come out and intimidate you? Treat you with disrespect? Refuse to write a report? (with no police reports, good luck getting any help getting him out of the house or getting into a domestic abuse shelter).

3: do they come out, ask him what happened, he lies and says you were violent first, and the cop then threatens to arrest you too, and have protective services take the children?

4: Have you ever had an ex send mail to your new home, come over, act up, the police come out, ask if he lives there, he says he gets mail there, the cops say you can't kick him out because he has established residency?

Share your experiences.

My ex came over. He was acting crazy. Turns out he had smoked crack. He punched me in the face so hard I flew into a large couch and moved it a few feet. When I lay on the floor trying to pretend I was unconscious, he kicked me several times and threatened to kill me if I didn't get up. My daughter called the police. They came, he was gone. They asked me if he lived with me. I said no, he never has. Well, does he have any of his things here? Yes, he brought a small box of his things over the other day and left it here. Well, he has a right to be here then, and I had no right to kick him out. They were intimidating and I was more scared of them than I ever was of him. Big, angry men with guns who are yelling at you and looking furious are kind of scary.

My nieces ex stole her SUV. Went to her mothers house in the middle of the night in it. Drove into her back yard, tore it up, knocked down fences, ruined the garden. Her mother and step father saw it. Cops said it was their word against his. Refused to do anything. The cops also told my niece that her ex had not stolen her vehicle because he knew where she kept the keys (in her purse), and that constituted giving him permission to take it, even though he had broken in. (he was allowed to do that, apparently)

At my daughter's apartment house, a woman is screaming and pounding on her door. Several neighbors go to see what is wrong. She had come home, found her boyfriend (who had moved in a few days ago, but was not on the lease) in bed with another woman. Told him to get out. He refused, shoved her out, and locked the door. The police come. She tells them what happened. They tell her she can't kick him out. They yell at her. When one neighbor says that's not right, cop hands go to guns, and they intimidate everyone there. The tell the woman she can leave, or she can go to her room and lock the door. She has to have access to her things. She goes and locks herself in. Police leave. Her boyfriend can be heard throughout the building pounding on the door, screaming at her, and it goes on and one. She then screams at him to leave her alone. The cops, who were in the parking lot yet, go upstairs, shout at her, and give HER a ticket for disorderly conduct. She is fined a few hundred dollars. She is told he doesn't have to leave, she has to ask the landlord to go to the expense and trouble of evicting him.

My roommate (male, but a platonic relationship) is seriously drunk. Takes my car keys without permission, and drives off. I am concerned that he will kill someone. I call the police. They come out. They tell me that because he is my roommate, it's his car too (his name is NOT on the title). I tell them again that A) he is very, very drunk B) he does not have a driver's license. They get annoyed with me for "arguing" with them. I am old and disabled. Their hands still go to their batons. They do NOTHING about this.

My daughters ex spits on her several times, is screaming and in a rage, behavior so out of line he appears to be insane. She is scared. Calls the police. They talk to him. The ex is shouting, angry, punches the wall. The do nothing, they say nothing. They turn to her, holding her small son who is terrefied. They yell at her for calling. They tower over her while she is on the phone with me crying and tell her to shut up. As they leave, a cop turns to her and tells her if she doesn't shut her mouth, they will arrest her and throw her in a cell overnight. He says "we don't want you here, just get out". They leave, and her ex tells her "they showed you, didn't they". I heard the whole thing.

Elderly woman, disabled and ill, calls the police because her roommate, a man, is drunk, has destroyed many of her things, is screaming wildly at her, and she is terrefied. The roommate isn't so drunk that he continues acting like that when the police get there, no he is suddenly very calm. The cops talk to him first. They talk to her. They tell her he can destroy whatever he wants, he lives there. They look around, see that the house is messy (he is supposedly living there to help her and keep the place kept up. He does nothing to help her or to maintain the home) and they tell her no one should be living like that, (the mess) and if they get called out again, they are going to have to report her to the housing inspectors, and she'll get kicked out of her own home.

I've never been the victim of domestic violence so I have no personal stories other than the one I witnessed on Christmas Eve in 1997. My cousin and get husband had a fight. I was the closest relative to her so I was called right after the police were. I left work and made the 3 min drive and arrived before the police did. My cousin had 2 small children 2 &1. She had a broken nose and her husband had scratches down his neck. The police didn't take a side. They said they could take them both to jail since they both had marks. Neither chose to press charges. The police left and said if they came out again someone was going to jail.
I wOuldn't call them nice or otherwise. They just did their job and left.

Yes, my father was a decorated officer with his department. As with everything there are good and bad. Unfortunately, as my Dad told me there is nothing worse than a bad cop. They can be "bad" on many levels. I am so sorry you have experienced so many of them. There are good cops!

Sorry your experiences have been so bad. I work with a lot of really great federal law enforcement officers. I grew up around military police officers who were also good guys. And I've dealt with police officers after accidents and in response to noise complaints. But I'm not intimidated by them because I know they're just people. I tend to chuckle at the ones who think they're bad asses just because they have a gun and badge.

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