Wednesday, October 17, 2012

High Stepping Ponygrrl

I recently met a very interesting young woman, also named Liz coincidentally, who enjoys dressing and acting as a pony on occasion. Since I'd interviewed leather pups in the past, I wanted to find out more about this fetish/interest. Luckily, she agreed to answer some questions for me.

1 1. So, Liz...pony play. What's it all
about?

Well, there are
a lot of variations to pony play, but the basic breakdown goes as follows:one person takes on aspects of horses-
whether its gear, or behaviours, or both, and the other person takes the reins and
acts as a Handler (in a ‘top’ position).It can be about Dominance and Submission, it can be about BDSM, it can
be about sex, it can be about bondage or humiliation- but it will involve
aspects of horses and horsemanship.

There are a lot
of groups out there that talk about various kinds of pony play, but two
resources I recommend are ‘The Human Equine’ by Rebecca Wilcox, and taking a
look at what the search engine on Fetlife pulls up when you enter ‘pony play’
in the box.‘Pony Play’ the group,
and ‘Alternative Pony’ are two really great general groups to find out more
about pony play from.

2. Why a pony, as opposed to a pup or a kitten?

Well, for me
personally, I feel that my personality and characteristics are more in keeping
with how we perceive horses than dogs or cats.When that perception crosses into play and the BDSM and
Leather worlds, I still feel an affinity to Ponies as opposed to pups or
kitties.Pups are very playful,
full of energy and some mischief.Those who choose pup identities often say they have ‘pup like’
characteristics, and the same is often heard from people who choose ‘kitties’
when they engage in critter play.Just a side note, critter play is an umbrella term for play where one
person takes on characteristics of an animal.It is not to be confused with Furry activities or culture-
they are separate in that (and this is only my understanding, so asking a Furry
would be more appropriate for more information) critter play is based in BDSM
and Leather culture, while Furry play is based in Furry culture which comes
from a cosplay basis.There are
very different values between the two groups, although you can get a lot of
cross- over of how critters manifest their animal selves and engage with each
other.

So, back to the
question at hand.I have always
loved horses, and felt that if I were to adhere to a faith or spirituality that
included spirit animals, my spirit animal would be a horse.As a child, I rode, I studied horses, I
dreamt of owning horses and I played at being a horse.Fast forward to being a young adult and
discovering kink, and a lot of those passions fell away.However, the affinity I felt for what
horses are in our society- property, pets, cherished servants, etc- was
reflected in a lot of the power exchange I was witnessing in others around me,
and in my own relationship.

I had been
introduced to a few pups and kitties, and while I really enjoy interacting with
pups and kitties, the concept of being one didn’t really appeal to me.Actually, for a long time, I had very
negative feelings towards the pony play I did come across- mostly in porn.Being a bio- horse lover since
childhood, I couldn't understand sexualizing an animal that I loved so much.
That was how I interpreted Pony Play for quite some time, as a sexual fetish,
humiliation play (not that there is anything wrong with doing pony play this
way, it just wasn’t for me at the time).After a while, I wanted to understand where my feelings of
hostility towards this kind of play came from, and I realized that I'd only a
limited exposure to the many facets of pony play, and that I actually felt an
attraction to it. I felt vulnerable about my personal interpretation, which is
of being a human pony, complete with as close to the true psychology of a bio
horse as I can get, as well as a breed, height, training goals, etc. Once I was
able to realize that there were different and varied kinds of pony play (I
understand much better those ponies and their players who enjoy the BDSM
aspects of pony play, even if I don't identify with it that way now), I was
able to give myself permission to explore my own pony self. I just wasn't sure
how to go about it.

I'd always felt that if I had a spirit animal,
it was a horse. I felt that I shared the attributes of a horse- loyal,
sensitive, smart, capable, strong. I felt that I needed a herd (my human circle
of loved ones), and that I had it in me to surrender my will to another through
the kind of trust and guidance a good rider builds with their mount.

3.How much gear do you have and
when do you have the opportunity to wear it?I have some gear-
depending on the kind of play you do, you can have a lot of gear orvery
little. If you are a textile fetishist
and are really into the gear aspect, you may have abodysuit, a tail, special
shoes, special gloves, a mask, a headpiece, a tail, and then allthe tack (the
saddle, bridle, etc)! Or, perhaps you
are a SM or sex pony and you simply have a bit gag that gets you intothe
headspace.Or, you could be
a human pony, and thus require as much tack- harness, bridle, bit, reins,cart,
etc as a biological horse would.

I myself am a bit
of a working pony and a bit of a show pony, and I have no full timeHandler.Often Handlers decide
(with the pony’s input) how much gear they want to tackthe pony with.So, as a pony with no trainer, I am
building my own gear to use.Mymental image of my pony self is of a grey pony, so I have a grey bodysuit that
I wear.Ihave a pair of ears that
I have fashioned from some actual pony gear that I wear.I have awaist cincher, which helps me
feel the constriction I imagine a saddle or cart harnesswould give.It also doubles as decoration for when
I shift between fetish and humanpony- fetish being more sexy, costume-y play,
while human pony play I get deep into theheadspace and take on the behaviours
of a pony.I have an actual
harness coming,which I hope to add on top of the cincher or even instead of
the cincher for different looksand feeling.I have a bridle, and a set of reins.I have a couple of lines, which are
ropeswith clips that you use to lead a horse somewhere, secure their head to a
hitching post,etc.I have a lunge
line which is a long lead that is used for training, so that the pony canwork
in a circle around the Handler.I have a mask so
I can go out in public-it is very showy, and I as a pony feel like it’s aspecial occasion when I wear it.I
have two to three pairs of shoes and boots I wear,depending on the kind of
play I will be doing, and I accent my legs with legwarmers torepresent the
white markings I would have if I were an actual pony.I have a tail, and I domy hair in the way I imagine a show
pony might have it done.I also
have some glovesthat I wear to help get me into the mindset.I don’t get to
wear my gear and get into pony headspace often.Firstly, I am owned, butdo not have a regular Trainer.So, if I get into pony headspace, I do
not have someone totake responsibility for me.This means that when I do put on my pony gear, I maintain my‘regular’ self, and don’t let go.Pony headspace is much like subspace.Most poniesbecome nonverbal, they will react differently to
stimuli and circumstances than theywould in their ‘human’ mindset, and they
are not always aware of their physical state.Wearing my gear is bittersweet at the moment, because when I
put it on I yearn to sinkinto pony headspace and just be a pony.However, if
you are at a general play party orout in public, you need to maintain verbal
communication and retain the culturalbehaviours that are required for the
moment.So, I wear my pony gear to
events where Iwill have the opportunity to engage in pony activities, such as
the Pony Camp atBrimstone in NJ this upcoming November.There, I will be assisting with
workshops onpony play, engaging in training with a Handler, and competing in a
show.I will get to gointo pony
headspace with the Handler, and work on a Dressage performance for theshow.

I wear my gear in
public for events such as the Pride Parade, Nuit Blanche in Toronto,Sexapolooza, and other alternative sexual events.I also wear my gear to workshops andseminars that I
participate in, and occasionally to play parties.However, one bigconstraint with ponies of the human or bio
variety is space!4. How large/small is the pony community in Ottawa?Ottawa has a surprisingly large
pony community.I say surprising
because it seems to besomething that individuals do at events as a side
activity, or privately, and so the socialconnectedness of a community is not
visible.However, if you ask those
who have beenin the Leather and BDSM community for a while, everyone knows a
pony and Trainercouple, everyone can point out a pony or two.I am trying to bring these ponies
together,and create a space for ponies and their Trainers to engage and
interact, get connectedand have events.

5. I hear you've put together a group for like-minded people. What's it called
and how canpeople contact you?My group is called the Ottawa
Pony and Critter Club!You can
find us on Facebook,though you will need to be invited to join, and you can
find us on Fetlife.https://fetlife.com/groups/44931 ,
where you don’t need an invite to join.My handle on Facebook is
Ponygrrl Bixophon, and I am Ponygirl_Bixy on Fetlife.Wemeet once a month on average, and I am working towards
creating events gearedtowards critter play and pony play specifically in the
Ottawa area.6. Finally, what would you say to people who don't understand this type of
kink?I would say that
Pony Play may not appear to be like any other kink at first glance, butonce
you get to understand what individuals get from it, and what gets played out in
theplay, you will see that it is a fantastic kink! Pony play is largely based in D/s, and easilyaccommodates
textile fetishists such as rubber and leather enthusiasts. It is also veryphotogenic, if you are excited about visual scenes. If you like
humiliation play, beingturned into a ‘beast of burden’ for your lover is sexy,
as is being ‘forced’ to take a bit gagor be trussed in a harness or wear a
tail plug. If you are into
submission and service,becoming a pony is a great way to take a break from
‘human’, vanilla cares and worriesand surrender to your Trainer’s
guidance. If you are looking for
something engaging thatboth you and your partner can do together while still
maintaining your power dynamic,pony training is a great way to build
skills! Learning how to train your
own submissive toperfectly respond to your commands and then together
acquiring skills to compete in aninternational pony play event is a perfect
way to engage in power exchange, work onphysical and mental skills together,
and display your hard work to others who enjoy andappreciate what you are
doing.

*****

Excerpt
from a journal entry by Liz (Bixy) about finding her inner pony and letting her out for the
first time:

I had a lot of other things on my plate before
the event, but I'd been thinking about pony play in the months before the event
when by chance my Sir noticed a call out for demo ponies for some workshops at
the event we were going to. After some discussion with the presenter, I
cautiously agreed to watch her videos and train on my own before meeting her. I
spent those weeks anxiously contemplating what it was for me to be a pony while
working on my gaits at the local ball diamond. I found the training soothing
and rhythmic, it reminded of the headspace I got into when running. I also
slowly developed a picture of my pony self in my mind, and began wondering what
it would be like to feel someone on the other end of reins.

I was very nervous coming to the event, as I
generally don't want to let people down, and here I was about to engage in
something I was very inexperienced at- and being a demo to boot. However, my
first Trainer was experienced and excellent, and really encouraged me to let go
of human concerns and listen to my animal self. I had kept seeing my pony as
grey, as young and inexperienced but trainable, as having a huge curiosity for
the world. My pony was able to come out, take over, and run free that weekend!

I had intended to focus on another aspect of
myself, but after the first training session with my Trainer, I was hooked. We
hit it off pretty well, and were able to meet for training every day. I went to
the Pony Meet n Greet at the event, and was able to see how other ponies
expressed themselves, played, and interacted. I had a second Trainer, who had
some pony experience, who introduced me to a different style of bridle and I
found my pony self- 'Bixy' (or 'Skittles', to my Sir, because she is skittish)
responding to the new environment, to the other ponies, to the people around her.

It was amazing- I hadn't felt so much pure,
unreserved joy since childhood! I went to many of the pony workshops, and was a
demo for the 'gaits' workshop (which focusses on the different ways ponies -
bio and human- walk and run). Someone asked if I'd be in the pony show (which I
had intended on watching to learn more), and my Trainer encouraged me to enter-
so I did!

The show was something else, for another
discussion. In the end, I won a ribbon (everyone won a ribbon), but again that
unabashed sense of joy and freedom swept over me. I am so proud of my
ribbon, even though I have a long journey ahead of me in terms of where my pony
is going.

Since then I've kept my memories of that event
close to relive when I get wistful. I don't have as many opportunities to let
her run, but Bixy is in me, waiting to get out and tear up some grass, feel the
bit in her mouth, and the tug of the reins!

*****Thanks so much, Liz, for a fascinating interview! Good luck with the Ottawa Pony and Critter Club and I hope to be seeing you very soon!~ Liz L.

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