Lesbian Scientistics: AfterEllen.com Hot 100 Edition

So you’ve worked your way through the AfterEllen.com Hot 100 and you’re feeling a little lightheaded and woozy, eh? Wading through all that hotness is enough to make anyone dizzy, but medically speaking you’re probably just suffering from a lack of analysis. Don’t worry — that’s why your Lesbian Scientistics team is here. Have a seat and a glass of water. Take a few deep breaths, and we’ll break down this year’s Hot 100 for you.

First, let’s look at the logical relationships between all the hotness.

Lots of fictional lesbian couples made the list this year. To determine which couple is the hottest, we charted the average rating of the actresses who portrayed the characters. (Note: We couldn’t possibly calculate the hotness of every pairing in the history of The L Word; the data has to be finite to be plottable! We went with the last couple standing.) Lowest score is best, just like in golf.

Finally, we’ve constructed the Hot 100 Bad-Ass Matrix. The matrix formula isn’t based on bad-assness of the actual women, but the bad-assness of the characters they play. Some of us hypothesized that know-it-alls would be more bad-ass than self-deprecators. Others of us argued that fighting crime unarmed is more bad-ass than wielding a sword. Based on the following data, you’ll have to make your own conclusions about whose bad-assness is hottest.

(Click for larger size.)

One final note: You’ll notice we left the pairing Yvonne Strahovski/StuntDouble off the Hottest Couples Chart. While crunching this Hot 100 data, our team felt a surprising upsurge of affection and nostalgia for The L Word. This year: Tibette 4 Eva! Next year: Viva StuntHotski!