I'm sorry for how you're feeling at the moment. I am there myself at the moment. I think it's during this stage that you should seek help, and you shouldn't wait to become actively suicidal before doing so. By then you might not have the willpower to do something or to ask someone for help. You can ask anyone, but preferably you should see a therapist to help you go through you're feelings.

But at least you're here, and you can lean on us. Make use of SF, it really is a fantastic source of support and has helped me countless times.