31 things all original The Sims players will know all too well

There are no two ways about it, the best way to spend a half term was to load up The Sims while still in your pyjamas and eat all of the Penguin bars out of the kitchen cupboard in one day. Dreamy.

The Sims was the best-selling game ever back in 2002 (now it’s eighth, sob) and these are the fond memories we’ll hold on tightly to for the rest of our lives…

1. Hating your sim with such despair that you’d build a swimming pool, force him into it and remove the steps so he couldn’t get out and he died.

2. OR, just not telling him to run away from a fire he’d started in the kitchen, and letting him burn to death.

3. Speaking of which, letting your sim set their kitchen on fire about six times before bothering to make them study cooking. Boring.

Killing annoying sims was a great outlet for stress (Picture: EA)

4. And finding it hilarious that your sim had to speak to themselves in front of a mirror to gain points in charisma. Errr?

5. Believing your sim was an annoying attention seeker who didn’t understand your very detailed game strategy when it stood still and waved at you while going ‘woohoo’.

6. Then letting it lose all dignity by falling to the floor in a pool of its own urine.

7. That feeling of immense joy and the wondering if you’d reached your life peak when the words ‘Shall we have a baby?’ appeared on the screen. You knew you forced your sim into countless suave kisses for a reason.

8. Then that excitement quickly turning to despair when you realised you’d had your sound turned off and hadn’t heard the baby crying and social services turning up to take your bundle of joy away. NO, I’M A GOOD MUM I PROMISE IT WAS A MISTAKE.

The heart bed taught us a lot about sex (Picture: EA)

9. It was a similar level of despair to when you *thought* you’d had the game speed on normal whilst your sim was sleeping so you could go for a quick wee. You didn’t. It was on fast forward. Your sim missed work. Your life’s work was falling to pieces.

10. Your anguish when the Goth family turned up on your doorstep. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

11. Always having your fingers crossed that your child wouldn’t look like Cassandra Goth when it bloomed from baby to child.

12. Feeling amused (and a little sad) that your child had to sleep in a cheap bed that looked a lot like a choc ice.

13. While we’re on the subject of beds, spending the majority of your money on a Heart Bed so that you could turn on ‘vibrate’ and let your sims ‘play’. Admit it, that was your first exposure to sex education.

14. And having that one friend that knew the cheat to take the bed away, take the blur away and let your pre-pubescent eyes see sims having actual sex.

15. Getting a new expansion pack was waaaaaay better than pretty much anything – even watching a film in your English lesson.

16. If you had too many your computer would come seconds from exploding and melting to the ground, so you quickly worked out the best ones to install (Livin’ It Up, Hot Date and Unleashed, obvs.)

17. Counting down the minutes in sim world til you could use your magic genie again, and having a garden crammed with water fountains and pink flamingos thanks to him. Pretty much the best ever way to stop your sim’s ‘room’ falling to nothing every time he left for work thanks to your lack of outside decor. Oops.

18. Being SO pleased with being able to get a cat or dog because it meant your social bar skyrocketed without having to grudgingly invite Mortimer Goth round for a chat.

The Goth family made us want to smash up the computer (Picture: EA)

19. Which meant that you’d finally be able to get that promotion and stop going to work in this hideous car that made your insides slowly die.

20. But then you heard through a friend that if you got promoted too many times, your sim would run out of promotions on your chosen career track and take a dramatic pay cut to start on another career track. (THIS IS TRUE, FYI).

21. Wanting to shake your sim when he said he was ‘too depressed to study’.

22. Especially if the sim in question was a child and he also missed too much school because then he got shipped off to military school and you never saw him again.

23. Being thoroughly bemused when a bear came and rummaged through your trash, and having to take about 17 photos to document the entire event.

24. Being less bemused and more OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO when that noise suddenly played which meant a burglar was on your property.

NOT THE TELEVISION, NOOOO (Picture: EA)

25. Always wishing there were more clothes to choose from so that you could stop making sims that looked like a skinnier Kat Slater.

26. But all your clothing woes being abandoned the minute you realised there was a dressing up box in House Party. Best. Thing. Ever.

27. Within three game plays you realised you’d need to hire a maid otherwise you’d have 57 dirty plates lying around your house and garden. Casual.

28. But knowing you’ll only have ever reached your life peak when you could afford a butler. AN ACTUAL BUTLER. (He can look after your baby btw, true story).

29. Always been thoroughly confused and upset by the fact your family of sims never sat down at the table together to eat dinner. Preferring instead to stand up and stare at walls.

30. Buying The Sims Superstar and hearing rumours from different friends about which celebrities you could spot. *SPOILER ALERT* It was only Avril Lavigne, Andy Warhol, Christina Aguilera, Marilyn Monroe and Jon Bon Jovi.

31. Having the Rosebud cheat so emblazoned in your mind that it will *probably* be the last thing you see before you die.

Now let’s all take a minute to think really hard about where our copy of The Sims may be hiding, and all clear our schedules for the next week.