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Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

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Author
Topic: Am I infected? A long history (Read 929 times)

I dont know how to start this, I recently met a woman, and now we are engaged, but the story is not about her, but about me. I am so happy with her, so happy in fact I started dreaming that my life might be over because of HIV.

So I made the only thing any hypochondriac did, I started reading about it, so now I am panicking (because I started dreaming about it).

Any how my long sordid history begins with child sexual abuse, I was abused at the age of 6 by my "baby-sitter", she did a blow job when I was a child and masturbated me, she would then go on top of me and I hate this because it still hurts so much when I talk about it, I only recently started telling this to my family.Any case I never penetrated her because I never got an erection, but she would move her hips on top of my limp penis.

That was more than 25 years ago, the second time I was abused was by a teenage boy at the age of 8, luckily for me he never penetrated me, and it was a single encounter.

It wasnt until I was 22 years old I managed so some how over come my fear of relationships, now because of my experience I never achieved a functional erection, and again the girl i was dating I did not penetrate, I would get headaches and all sorts of other embarrasments because of my past. There was one risky encounter where she managed to rile me up, but again I lost the erection before she went on top and she ended up grinding a limp penis, I was unprotected, and I never managed penetration.

Cut 6 years later I decided to overcome this fear, so I went to CSW, we had sex, she used a latex condom + gel, I got a unprotected blow job. From here onwards I met 3 nursing students, from overseas, I had sex again with each of them multiple times, again I got blow jobs from then with out protection but all vaginal sex was with condoms (Ansell branded). At one time I came inside on one of the woman's mouth.

The story repeats with a Japanese Tourist and a Cougar from a bar. Again I had protection when going for penetration but no protection for oral blow jobs. I did lick a few of the above near their clit, but was so rare.

I did get a cold from the nursing students, it felt like mono I got tested but that came negative, and I fear that might of been ARS, when I started looking at the symptons, and I have started panicking and when looking at the stats on transmission on wikipedia I am so devestated, I am wrecked, I feel so dead now.

So please let me know what are my chances?I have gone for an STI screening test, and I am awaiting results.

Nothing you report here is in any way am HIV concern. You wore a condom for penetrative sex, and that's all you need to do.

I sincerely hope you are able to move past your history and have the healthy relationship you deserve.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts