This Current State Of Being

Hello lovelies, I thought it was about time to check in again. As you’re probably aware, I’ve been suffering from various illnesses for the majority of this year, and as far as I can tell, this is only going to continue.

While the horrendously long migraine ended, I’m still plagued several times a week by them. So, I suppose one positive is that not every day is bad in that regard.

Once I kicked the Springtime cold from hell, the next round of issues popped up. A few months of physical therapy to fix my back thanks to a sagging mattress and a couch that was well beyond its life expectancy was just the tip of the iceberg. Apparently, my thyroid isn’t performing correctly, which several specialists are optimistic that resolving this issue would improve the frequency and severity of my migraines, as well as help with other health-related issues, I don’t share their happy perspectives.

These migraines have been around for some time, and I was still able, most days, to do some of my therapeutic activities. But now, there’s more than just my C-PTSD and migraines to nag me. My concentration is worse, and my physical energy levels have been declining.

You’d think a simple pill to fix my thyroid would do the trick, but unfortunately, I’m one of the unlucky few to have the opposite reaction. Rather than helping that little gland perform, those meds hit the off switch. Let me tell you, getting out of bed just to go to the bathroom made me want to cry. And this went on for over a month while my doctor tinkered with the dosage to see if I would improve.

So now, I’m waiting in limbo to see a specialist for that, while I continue to feel like half of my functionality has been taken from me. I remain hopeful that this will be light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m not holding my breath. A worsened depression can be thanked for this current mindset. But could you blame me for feeling a little extra down?

This, of course brings us to now. As you’ve probably noticed. My Thirteen Reasons Why series was never completed, my next novel and poetry book were never finished, and my newsletters have gone unsent. In the rare days I’m feeling productive (using the term very loosely), I have been able to mock up new book cover designs for my fiction, which I hope to begin unveiling once I finish this novel that’s been collecting dust for months. But I have no idea when that might be.

My ability to keep up with blog posts has significantly diminished, as have my responses to comments. I really need to make more of an effort to keep up with those, at the very least. And I do thank each and every one of you that continue to leave comments, despite my silence.

I miss the way things were, and I cannot stress enough how much I want to get back to that. As always, thank you for letting me vent a little, and know that I’m doing my very best to get back to where I was before, at the very least.

I understand the position you are in very well, and I understand that my words and sentiments are of no use whatsoever. But my heart is with you in your trials and torments nonetheless Sarah, and my eyes are on your wonderful words. ❤
No reply necessary.

I’m truly sorry that you’ve been having such a rough time of it. I’m sending the universe a note that says send an abundance of sunshine in constant rays of delight to shine over you. You deserve this and so much more. You have a way with words that simply sings. We’re here and we aren’t going anywhere. Happy to hear from you when you are able. xoxo

You are, and will continue to be, an inspiration to so many. A response to a comment is not necessary. We understand Sarah. The most important thing you can do is to TAKE CARE OF YOU. Sending you healing prayers, hugs & love. xoxo 😃💛

Sarah, I hope you are able to solve your health issues with migraines And your thyroid. The worst thing about taking medications is that they never tell you with any issue, that it often takes a bit of time to find the right medication or medication brand. For instance, a person can not take well to a generic brand but do much better on the name brand drug and vice versa. Or on a completely different but similar medication. I can’t imagine having migraines all this time as I know how painful those can be. Praying you figure it all out!

Not to my knowledge, but I’m still waiting to see the specialist. My PCP didn’t know what to do beyond playing with the dosage of the synthroid. When it became clear that it was having the opposite effect she referred me. Unfortunately the wait time was two months.

Dear Sarah… I am so sorry to read this post. I’m sending you my very best thoughts, hoping things will get a little better soon. It is amazing to me that you are so present, despite all the pain and hurt that could drive you to just turn off the computer and leave it all there… Don’t worry about not leaving as much feedback as you did in the past, and focus on your well being 🙂 I (and I know I am not alone) love your work, but in order to enjoy it for a long time, you need to take care of you first….

NOT liking. I am glad you have let your followers know what’s up, but oh this is so hard to read. Sending you blessings and good thoughts as you battle moving each day and attempt to finish at least one thing. Baby steps suck, especially when you are used to making strides.

I hope you will be better soon Sarah. Migraines are horribly debilitating and painful beyond belief, it is hard to imagine unless experienced, so my heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself, hoping you will soon be back to your old self.