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Happy new year, dear readers. I wish you the choicest blessings in 2013. It's time for a new thread, and I think it's best to be sure that we help the Legion and RC Movement with transparency, which is a integral part of honesty. There are some new apostolates that we should keep track of -- some above board with the RC affiliation, others less so.

The Cana Family Institute has been launched to help families, and goodness knows the family can always use help. It seems to be an offshoot of Familia, which is in a no-man's land of affiliation that few can understand at present. I found the bullet points interesting, though, considering the history most of us have endured with the Legion:

1. Assisting parents in developing a strong
family structure.

2. Promoting unity in thought word
and action between spouses.

3. Helping parents to
motivate young people towards religious, moral, psychological and social maturity.

4. Fostering the awareness of the need for
Christ and the Church in daily life.

5.
Promoting access to the teachings of the Church concerning marriage
and family life.

Ah well. We've been through the marriage tension created through Legionary advice -- both in the confessional and in spiritual direction. There is the wedge between spouses, not to mention the abuse of trust when LC's and 3gf's discuss vocations with the children. I hope that these things are cleared up when the CCI is invited to help your families.

For some reason, members of RC are promoting a retreat offered through Fr Philippe, which looks wonderful:

The Marriage Renewal Weekend with
Father Jacques Philippe is quickly approaching. Rooms are still
available. If you are interested in taking your prayer life and
marriage to the next level, please register for the weekend retreat in
March. In addition to local couples, we have couples from Michigan and
Mexico who will be attending.

Even if they are co-sponsors, it could be harmless, but one should always keep an eye out.

Fr Bartunek has a new book out, co-authored with Dan Burke, which looks wonderful. Ironically, it's on spiritual direction, which has been an Achilles Heel for decades in the Legion. There is no mention that Fr Bartunek is a Legionary priest (that I can see on the link) or that Mr Burke was closely associated with the Movement. If they have left, it would be helpful to readers to know where they stand, especially since the Vatican report on the group specifically pointed out that spiritual direction was problematic in this group. The book may be solid, but transparency shouldn't be a problem as related to a topic that is founded on ... transparency.

Finally, prayers are in order for Fr Alvaro, who is undergoing medical testing in CT. A medical crisis is a frightening thing, and God's grace is all-powerful. Those who can should lift him up, to show our sincere love for a brother in Christ. We must show how authentic faith is expressed, apart from those who have used it to deceive and manipulate others. In the end, we are all beggars before God.

ADDENDUM: Btw, a friend and I are leading a study group using this program, which is wonderful. Highly recommended!

I was blessed last week to be in Rome for meetings with other communications directors from territories of the Legion of Christ.

There I was with folks from Italy, Germany, Austria, Mexico, Spain and Chile. And they all were patient with the unilingual American (yours truly) who needed constant translation help.

The week had many highlights, but for me a special moment came Wednesday morning when we had Mass in one of the chapels in the catacombs under St. Peter’s Cathedral. I found myself in the heart of the Vatican, with three Legionaries celebrating a Mass attended by Legionary brothers, consecrated members and plain old Regnum Christi members like me.

Some in the congregation were people I was meeting for the first time; others were long-time friends and professional colleagues. But what struck me was that despite being from different countries and different cultures, we all were members of the Regnum Christi Movement. We were all Roman Catholics with a common spirituality and mission.

We often talk of being part of a spiritual family, something I find difficult to define. But Wednesday morning, in that holy place, I felt very much to be part of the family. And I am deeply grateful for my many brothers and sisters.

I only want to say that if those in charge of communications for the Legion are unable to define their mission, their charism or the nature of the "family" to which they cleave, then there is still a problem. This is not meant to be an insult to the sincere faith of many members, but the same old plea: the Church herself provides the universality, orthodoxy and communion that we cherish -- what exactly is the unique and unparalleled L/R mission that must attach itself to that body despite the baggage and scandal? Why must it endure when the downside is a constant reminder of duplicity and sin?

Today is the grand feast of Saint Dominic, and one site reminds us of his gift to the Church:

The Order of Preachers “is known to have been established, from the beginning, for preaching and the salvation of souls” (Primitive Constitutions). The Fundamental Constitution of the Order of Preachers underscores the priority of this apostolate. The five distinctive elements comprising the uniquely Dominican way of life (the common life, the evangelical counsels, the common celebration of the liturgy, assiduous study, constancy in regular observance) “together prepare and impel us to preach; they give our preaching its character.” By their religious profession, Dominicans become “fully committed to preaching the Word of God in its totality” so that they live “an apostolic life in the full sense of the word, from which preaching and teaching ought to issue from an abundance of contemplation.”

Every Dominican I know (and here surrounding RI's Providence College there are many) embodies this mission, and attaches him/herself to the community for this very reason. They don't conflate their existence with that of the Church, nor do they struggle to explain what drives them.

Prayers continue for the members of the Movement, and perhaps the intercession of Saint Dominic will assist in clarifying what, presently, remains difficult to define.

The first is a direct response to Nicole Winfield's piece on the precandidacy, bearing deep regrets and promising reform.

Margarita [Martinez] will work with a team of 15 consecrated women in Oxford. Some will be with the Immaculate Conception students on a regular basis, while others will be working with them at school and in the various apostolic projects.

Of the IC program improvements, Margarita said she believes “we have found the balance of a protected environment to meet the requirements of growth in friendship with Christ, prayer, knowledge and appreciation of a vocation to consecration and life, combined with an experience of engagement in an external school community. We believe this environment will provide a balance for students to mature socially and in human virtue, while offering solid spiritual formation.”

The second item may be more of a coincidence, but it also seems to be a response longer in the making. It is a letter from papal delegate Cardinal dePaolis, who has regained his serenity after having been "distracted" by the problems with the women:

This part of our responsibilities, particularly the feminine branch, has demanded much time and attention and has distracted us more than a little from the problems of the Legion. It has been a tiring and complex journey which has had its painful moments.

He uses all the typical Legion jargon, besides serentity, the Lord is with them, the need for docility, responsibility and perseverence, etc. but then we arrive at his impression:

In this work, we have become aware of another beautiful reality of great relevance and meaning: the reality of the first and second degrees of Regnum Christi. Up until now, this reality has received little and insufficient attention. The visits that my counselors and I have made to Mexico, Spain, Brazil and Chile, as well as Italy, have helped us witness this beautiful, hopeful reality with our own eyes.

It is to be presumed that those who have lost their faith, those who were maligned as enemies of the Church, those who are spiritually and physically abused, and those who were thrown aside as unfit for their ranks are not part of the "beautiful reality." Of course -- since they were marginalised and silenced, shunned and dismissed, how could their narratives mesh with that beautiful reality? That's the essence of a cult: One person gets to drive the narrative. He is writer, creative director, editor, and producer. That which doesn't fit disappears like foam on the waves.

Curious, though, is the existing members' absorption with "charism."

On the journey that we are carrying out, each group is advancing along its own path, seeking a more clear and precise identity. The Legionaries are committed to revising the Constitutions, as an institute of priests and religious; the consecrated men and women, having accepted and enacted, at least in part, the principle of proper autonomy, are preparing to revise their own Statutes as an association of faithful consecrated in Regnum Christi. At the same time, in some territories similar activities have been organized among members of the first and second degrees to reflect on the mission and spirit of the Movement. In fact, the lay members of the first and second degrees feel a necessity to revise their own statute and reformulate it in a more precise and up-to-date way. But these are realities that are called to work together, since they participate in a common charism. As each group is carrying out the journey in search of its own identity, it seems necessary to formulate a common platform regarding the charism and some norms that would regulate reciprocal relations in the life of the Church and in the apostolate according to the identity proper to each group. It has become clear that this is an important issue upon which all interested parties must reflect under the guidance of the Pontifical Delegate and of his counselors. Furthermore, we have noticed that this theme has presented itself in the right moment for the journey that each group is already carrying out.

In particular, the general report of the Central Commission of the Legionaries for the revision of the Constitutions mentions, among other things, that some communities and territories desire to continue reflecting on the contents of the first theme of reflection, regarding the nature and purpose of the Congregation, its “charism”.

Seems like it's hard to proceed with an identity crisis -- although it doesn't stop them from recruiting, ordaining and "consecrated" new members. Curious, that.

But, as noted previously, LC and RC make no sense apart from one another:

In these last two months, this Commission has sought to identify the best way to confront the reflection upon the fourth and fifth parts of the constitutional text, regarding government and administration of the Congregation. For various historical and canonical reasons, the current text exclusively refers to the religious Congregation. It has become clear that it is impossible to properly and completely consider the government, apostolate and administration of the Legion of Christ without also taking the broader reality of Regnum Christi into account. Nor is it possible, on the other hand, to think of the reality of Regnum Christi without referring to the Legion. A glance at the apostolate and administration of works and apostolic initiatives makes this evident.

For this reason, it seemed opportune to specifically address this theme in a meeting that was convoked convened for this purpose in Rome, which took place on June 19. The general director of the Legion with his counselors took part as well as the newly named leadership* of the consecrated men and women. The Pontifical Delegate presided. There was a general agreement on the central issue.

The results of the reflections on the Constitutions clearly show that almost all Legionaries of Christ recognize and appreciate the profound unity which exists between the Congregation and the Regnum Christi Movement. In fact, they see it as one charismatic reality that includes religious, consecrated members and lay members in the first and second degrees. They all recognize a common origin and the fact that they share the same purpose and mission, and live the same spirituality, each according to the state and condition in life to which God has called him.

The Methodology binds them together -- for better or worse. That is essential when parishes consider whether or not to invite the RC apostolates into their embrace, because to invite the one implies that the influence of the other is there as well. And neither has found an identity, much less a legitimate reform -- because the two (identity and reform) are inseparable.

Furthermore, it has been recognized that consecrated life in the Regnum Christi Movement is a gift for the Church and for each of those that have consecrated their lives to the Lord and to the service of their brothers and sisters. This is a good reality which must appreciated and protected so that it may be purified and thus develop for the good of the Church and the world.

Because the concerns of the 77 women who signed the letter to him are inconsequential: a gift is a gift.

This is why their letter was copied to Nicole Winfield. If it weren't leaked to the press, those women and their stories wouldn't exist. Their suffering wouldn't exist. Nothing would exist but the "beautiful reality," the "gift."

And what of the joint mission of this group, foundering without an identity?

For this reason, we have become aware that it is necessary to reflect on the diverse components of Regnum Christi in light of its history, its identity, its common spirit and mission and the particular role that corresponds to each part in the whole.

We are not creating something new. Instead, we are seeking to interpret and renew what already exists in light of the recognition that the Church has given when it approved that Congregation of the Legionaries of Christ and its Constitutions (1983), and, subsequently, the Regnum Christi Movement and its Statutes (2004).

It is NOTHING NEW. It is historically, spirituallly, and psychologically bound to the Founder. The group founded on lies, subterfuge and collaboration with corrupt members of the hierarchy stands as "approved" for all eternity -- and that MUST BE the foundation.

Reflecting on this, we have decided to organize a brief but intense period of joint reflection between Legionaries of Christ and the other members of Regnum Christi. For this reflection, it will be necessary to prepare the draft of a text and afterwards, to reflect on it together. One could say that we are seeking to elaborate a “general statute” or a “fundamental norm”, or a “rule” common to all the members of Regnum Christi, including Legionaries. The text in question will guide the reflection.

This is what is meant by "charism by committee." Given the Founder, the history, the current membership purged of troublemakers (those who are not part of the "beautiful reality") and the leadership's penchant for providing the Holy Spirit as a rubber stamp for their Chosen Narrative (TM) we will have another total whitewash, complete with extensive spiritual vocabulary -- sprinkled with regrets and sincerity -- poised and ready to lead the Church in the New Evangelisation. God help us.

UPDATE: there is an [older] piece written by Fr Matthew Green, who is in process of leaving the Legion, and part of his lengthy justification is the duplicity at the heart of the Congregation:

P. Maciel was a duplicitous man with a mask of holiness covering deep personal and psychological problems. In the words of the pope, wearing a life "adventurous, underused, and twisted" (it says in the interview book Light of the World). It was "a life devoid of scruples and true religious feeling" (statement of May 1, 2010) and this (according to the Vatican statement ) has had a profound impact on life, rules and constitution of the congregation. In addition, the Legionaries have learned a fake version of the history of the congregation. Ways of acting and thinking that we thought were holy and good, have to be reconsidered and modified. Finally, the Legion is not what we thought. In a sense, what we met in her was presented under false pretenses.

UPDATE II: Speaking of the legacy of lies, I was told that the current 3gf's have explained to those who ask that the Totus Tuus group that broke away was unhappy with the reforms that were taking place, and preferred to live the old, unadulterated Macielism that those who choose to stay have rejected. Not surprising in the least. Part of the Chosen Narrative (TM).

A couple telling posts from the Regnum Christi blog reveal the usual mixture of shallow discernment and fear that comprises the vocational decisions made by members of the Movement. First the track meet "parable:"

I’m a sprinter out to beat my best time and finish strong. But just as I rounded my first curve I hit something, hard. I found myself, and every other runner, sprawled out on the ground. There were hurdles in the middle of our race! Everyone was totally perplexed. Some runners got up quicker than others and continued on. Others just sat there bewildered, nursing their banged-up shins or scraped knees. Still others simply got up, dusted themselves off and walked off the track. This was not what they signed up for...

The takeaway for her was that maybe she wasn't a sprinter after all, but was really called to be a hurdler -- perish the thought that she should analyse what hurdles were in her path, and why. [This is as opposed to the young lady who spent time with the Missionaries of Charity, admired their work, and discerned it was not for her -- was she "walking off the track? Clearly not.] It also manages to imply that good Christians should accept all hurdles as the plan of God, and deal with them, and those who "walk off the track" [i.e. leave the Movement?] are pansy lightweights: Those who love Christ enough will stay!

Life in the trenches can be difficult. The daily grind, the struggles of married life and raising kids, the "ordinary" schedule of school, work, cooking, carpools and errands, etc…can wear you down. Sometimes, you may feel the urge to jump out of the trench and run away from the battle, but you will find that the cross outside of the trench is actually far worse. Embrace your identity, embrace your vocation with a loving and enthusiastic spirit…God notices and he will bless this fidelity both now and into eternity!

In any other setting, a nice pep talk like this, grounded in a quote by Saint Francis de Sales, would be nice, but as with anything stemming from a Legionary, there are ripples of meaning that are not exactly Salesian. There is the fear factor, that reminds the member that no matter how bad life is inside, it's only worse outside.

Then there's the command to be enthusiastic about your vocation, with a dollop of quietism: this is where you are, so this is where God wants you to be. STET. That is standard RC-think, a variation on the theme: since you're sitting in that chair, listening to this talk, and called to this retreat, voila! you must be called to the Movement.

Ignoring urges is dangerous, for discerning where to serve the Church is not the same as the vow that nails you to your spouse and the life that entails. Any mother dreams of escape every now and then as the laundry piles up and the kids run you down -- but of course you cannot leave (for long!)

But not one single member of RC (the target audience) is in a vocation subject to vows. He doesn't explicitly say that the post is about remaining faithful to RC, but what else could he mean, especially in a blog that is meant to provide encouragement to the members, who are stumbling over hurdles and wondering if they're meant to stay?

This is unfortunate, especially when read by people who have been well-trained to submit to superiors, who will reveal God's will concerning their vocations. It's meant to continue the "steady, monotonous thrumming" that has been a part of spiritual direction from the start. And it could never be confused with Salesian thought, nor with the finer tradition of guiding souls. Pity, that.

ADDENDUM: Phew, I had a moment and just read the comments below that last thread linked (with the Narnia quote). Those are powerful little testaments to the manipulation inside. That was Sept. 2009, and very little has changed. Do read them if you have the time.

I just wanted to write for those who were not able to make it up to the reunion. It was an amazing weekend. It was really wonderful to see so many people and catch up to see where everyone is at. It was really beautiful and reveling to see and feel the changes that have been taking place with the norms, the whole attitude, and environment in general. The atmosphere was very relaxed. Everyone was able to come as they are and where they are in life and just enjoy time together. The vibe I felt in the PC and Greenville (and from talking to people) is that everything was more relaxed natural and there is a lot less tension and stiffness about the norms. Everyone is just more open and warm.

Below i just summed up what Caroline and Fr Luis Garza said to us in the conferences so that those who would like to know can be filled in:

Jill thank you for posting the updates on the PC. It was great to have the talk with Caroline. She was very gracious and open about what went on within the PC and her experience and point of view. She opened up about how it was hard for her to ask the PCs to live norms that she was not convinced of. She told us that she was vocalizing and making known hardships that PCs and their families were having and things that she thought should have been changed. For some time she was told that things were the way they should be, but finally after some time, they saw the need to re-evaluate the norms. She apologized several times to everyone for any hurt they had experienced as PCs or their families by anything they were asked to do and for pain they have experienced after. She explained she did everything out of love and never intended to hurt anyone. Caroline also expressed her relief that she would no longer be a director as the last years have been very hard on her with a lot of anger from parents and members fall on her. She (and all the consecrated) are very willing and ask you to talk to them if you have any concerns or questions or want to talk about anything at all. Diana Hardy apologized as well and humbly explained that we are all human and make mistakes.

I sat in on the conference with Fr. Luis and I will now sum up what he explained to us: He started in 1998 explaining that he started to notice that Fr. Maciel was distracted and not as ambitious as he normally was about projects or concerns of the movement. He admitted that Fr. maciel was living a lavish life around this time for example, driving fancy cars and staying at luxurious hotels. Fr. Luis picked up on these changes in Fr. maciel but was unsure of the reasons for them. A couple years later they started to see signs of dementia. Fr luis then described how the Vatican asked Fr maciel to lead a more private life out of public ministry and Fr Luis did not understand and to a point did not believe it at the time and the church did not give a reason. When he did find out he explained that they didn’t know how to break the news. they were coming up with plans to tell everyone but they didn’t see a right or best way to go about it. he explained how you have to be prudent in making public someone’s sins. they were working for a while to figure out how to do this. they were not trying to hide it from people. In the end the news broke before they were prepared. He also explained how the cardinal is very thorough in all the changes and evaluations he is doing… which causes the process to be slow, but this is good. They have been working a lot to change the "culture" of the movement as he put it. Our formation centers and apostolate centers were too similar and not fit for what each group needed. He listed some problems of the movement that they are working to fix such as an arrogance of the movement, the stiffness of norms, and changing to work more with families as a whole instead of working individually with boys girls men and women etc.

I hope this helps... Im happy to talk to anyone who wants. I wrote this as best I could from what i remembered.

Love you all!!

I apologise for so many PC threads. While I won't close any for comments, I'll note on the three previous threads that we'll try to congregate here.

FTR, the three related threads include a link to the comment given by a woman planning a PC reunion (which wouldn't allow any negativity), an exPC Facebook group which has a series of testimonies, and a link to a blog which has a serialised account of one exPC's experiences. I'll send readers to this thread for one single conversation, given the wounds now revealed among exPC's and the obstinacy of the Legion/3gf leadership in acknowledging them in a honourable and mature fashion. (We're only human doesn't cut it.)

Parents always need to stay one step ahead, and even though the 2011-12 school year hasn't ended, we're all mulling over the options for next year. With the changes in the Movement, some schools are closing, others combining, and others staying the course. Where will we place our children, we wonder...?

Before anyone considers a boarding school under the watchful eye of Legionaries or 3gf's, kindly consider this testimony of a girl who went to the pre-candidacy in RI. I'll pull just a few segments, beginning when she came home (hoping to return). The bold is my own:

I woke up the next morning a different person. I had left home as bubbly, happy, irrepressible, irresponsible 14-year-old. I came back a much older, sadder, more serious, and shyer 16-year-old. I was coming back to a different family, too -- I now had a younger brother. Everything seemed weird and different -- like it wasn't at all the family I had left, but a new family I was going to have to adjust to...

[If my parents yelled at me or criticised me} I could clearly see that their anger was more about what was going on in their own lives than it was about me. They weren't saying calculated things to "test" me. They were just doing their thing, and sometimes they weren't as gentle as they could have been. It no longer bothered me. I realized that I had had a lot more "harshness" from my formators than I had ever had from my family. Besides, I had changed overnight from the girl who dissolved into tears over everything. I felt like I had no feelings at all. I felt annoyed when people looked for an emotional connection with me, trying to share feelings or hug me. I didn't want to be touched anymore. And my feelings were a shameful thing I didn't want to share...

Pretty soon even I was able to recognize that I was deeply depressed. The only emotion I felt was a deep misery and loneliness. I called up the one former classmate whose number I had. She was very understanding. "When does it get better?" I asked. "I'll let you know," she said. She told me of others who had turned to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain after going home. I was shocked...

The other person [who saved me] was my little brother. It was so different to have someone who needed me. No longer was I "forming myself" just for the sake of forming myself. I had to smile even if I felt sad, not because it was the right thing to do, but because Joseph needed a smile from me. I had to leap up and help, not because I had been assigned to help, but because he needed help right then and couldn't wait. He was generous with smiles, appreciation, and hugs. I didn't feel comfortable hugging anyone but him, but he reintroduced me to the world of touch and it was so comforting.

This is a young woman who came home, only to find that she had been lied to -- she wouldn't be invited back, although she worked hard on the things they told her that would enable her to stay. Imagine the ones who stayed. Read it and see what you can do to make healthy decisions for your children, and bring this information to light for others.

"Mercy" kindly points out that there is a tremendous new blog which has the potential to be very helpful for those who spent time in the pre-candidacy:

This blog is an account of the experiences of former Precandidates of the Regnum Christi Movement. Many of us suffered real mental and emotional damage in our years at Immaculate Conception Academy. We share our stories here to warn parents of the very real dangers of handing your daughters over to this flawed institution. What you see when your daughters come home for a week at Christmas and two weeks in the summer is not what happens the other 49 weeks of the year.

It offers brutally honest testimonies of former students, and mature efforts to dissect their experiences. While anyone can comment, the posts themselves seem to have been offered through a private Facebook account. Kudos for the initiative, and prayers for further healing of this generous group of young women.

1. They isolated the girls from their peers and families at a very vulnerable age (when a girl's allegience is normally shifting from family-oriented to peer-oriented);

2. They redirected this natural shift so that the allegience would shift to the 3gF leaders, in the absence of anyone else to serve as a role model or companion;

3. They forbid the sort of close friendships that usually sustain and strengthen girls in their teen years, and replaced them with a reliance on Maciel's conception of Jesus (which overlapped with himself to a high degree);

4. They then worked to instill in the girls that they weren't good enough or loveable enough and that they had to work harder to be likeable enough for God (i.e. the anecdote about reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" in order to transform oneself into 3gF material);

5. They were fed a sort of Pelagianism--that their own efforts, actions, and results were what made them holy;

6. They were constantly beaten down in secret, but told to plaster a smile on in public, so each broken girl faced a mass of 'serenity.' This ensured they all suffered alone, without support;

7. When they left, they were told it was their own fault.

None of this was accidental. It was all written into the system. PC was DESIGNED to break these girls and hurt them and abuse them.

Nieves Garcia Horcajada, who was a 3gf for almost 28 years, explains her departure in a letter to Fr Montan:

Since I was 12, I was one of the great admirers of Maciel--I was even something of an RC fanatic. When Jesus allowed the truth to emerge, after being hidden almost 60 years, everything changed. Thus began a second period of my life, which was very different.

Knowing it was very simple, my poor reasoning noted that If this man, whom I hope God has taken into his mercy and for whom we still pray, deceieved us, and he was the initiator of the RC, it is only logical that we review all the work from top to bottom, for all came from him: charisma, methodology, spirituality ... everything. To my great surprise, I soon saw that there were a group of elders who were not willing to consider this truth. I witnessed their lies, and not just once.

There came the question how to obey people who lie? God is not father of lies -- so where should by conscience take me? My conscience grabbed me and the light of truth was coming in, filling me with a lot of pain but of peace. That peace which the world can not remove. That was the way.

I was close to the visitators, I went to Rome three times to speak with Father Alvaro, Father Luis, with Council members of the Pontifical Council, lay people working in the Congregation for the Consecrated Life and Apostolic Societies, I talked to a young person who had been sexually abused by Legionaries were (not just Fr. Maciel -- which has happened on many occasions), and sent his report to the appropriate inspector. He denounced those superiors who concealed the evidence to the relevant authorities of the Church as requested by the Holy Father.

I discovered, in that time that our Statutes didn't really have the approval of the Holy Father, that there was a paper signed by [dead?] men who had lied on paper. These Statutes were never "the will of God." I went to three canon lawyers and experts who all told me the same thing. Those were years when I felt as though I was inside of a hurricane that I couldn't escape.

Those who know me can tell you that I am usually a conciliator, obedient, and quiet. What has happened? I do not know. Perhaps my ways were not always the most serene, but I confess that I felt afraid, very afraid of giving my life to a lie. Excuse P. Montán but I studied philosophy before consecrate and the subject of truth for me is vital.

I was willing to fight for he rest of my days on behalf of this work again, but only if founded on the rock of truth that is Christ, and not hide our lies. How I wished we could proceed with humility, under the guiding hand of the Church! But even having done everything possible, I found a giant and mysterious wall behind which lies were hidden (the truth lies but one is more dangerous) and sometimes, I confess with pain, held by some men of the Church, who are not models of Gospel. I do not know their ultimate reasons, but at least those actions are far from being similar to deeds of Jesus, my beloved and good Jesus. Sadly I had to face my great disappointment in Cardinal De Paolis, especially since would not create a commision to discover the truth.

I talked, I wrote, I tried to serve and help my companions, but that cost me a sly invitation to go home. My parents who have given God their two daughters, now aged 80, opened the doors of their house. My wounds healed, they respected my discernment process, nursed my faith and my vocation. My gratitude to God is infinite for my family that I still have, for many others no longer have it, and are told to take their bags and find another roof under which to sleep. My parents restored my faith in the family, which had been lost in the RC. That family of RC, when I came to Madrid, invited me to [go stay somewhere else]. I recount that fact, not because it hurt, but because the truth is painful, we can rely on our conscious which purifies us, and helps us to be humble, and will keep this from happening again with others.

God has given me wonderful experiences in these months, the ability to reconcile and apologize to my team. And yet there were obstacles, as some of them wrote letters asking for my expulsion for speaking the truth. How beautiful is our faith! With Jesus' hand and with a little humility, reconciliation is possible IN A HEALTHY SOUL.

Her original letter in Spanish is here (would appreciate a better translation, if someone has time). This letter from one so recently on the inside is critical reading, for it highlights the deception that still prevails within the Movement and the nature of the superiors to which obedience is demanded. Finally, it reminds us that without a Truth Commission, the duplicitous actions of the various dicasteries will remain hidden from the faithful. Divine justice notwithstanding, we must know who can be trusted to advance the authentic needs of the Church and who are compromised by fronting this Lie.

There is a blog post at RC live with one of the oddest questions I've ever heard in relation to vocations. It concerns the end of the school year when the graduates (3gf's) are given their destinations, which is an emotionally tumultuous time:

“We find out sometime in June.” notes Therese Maher, a senior at MEC. “Last year the seniors found out where they would go and what they would do the day after their graduation.”

Sound dismal?

The joy and conviction written on their faces replies a hearty “no”.

“We’ve given all to Christ and the Church.” says senior Stephanie Pangtay "It doesn’t matter where we go or what we do because we’re not seeking a life of success but a life of service.”

Nevertheless, feelings are mixed regarding departure day for the soon-to-be graduates.

“It will be hard to leave but it’s exciting to start the next chapter of our consecrated life out there in the apostolate” says Carolina Tavares.

Fellow senior Mary DeGoede feels a “healthy blend of excitement and apprehension” in the face of what is to come. On the other hand Laura Kulman shivers at the memory of seeing a senior burst into tears at the breakfast table after dropping, of all things, an apple on the floor. It’s no wonder the rising graduates are a little nervous.

The big day doesn’t feature on the official MEC calendar, not only because its date is unknown, but because departure day has already begun. The charge of tears, planes and rent-a-car’s of the event pale in comparison with the quasi-atmosphere which has already emerged, “This will be our last Christmas together” … “We have to savor this moment together while it lasts” … “Where do you want to go…where do you think you’ll go…?” The real question is: should a cap be put on a woman’s emotions? [my bold]

Why on earth is that the real question? What is wrong with the tears associated with good-byes and anxiety over the future? While our faith tells us to have courage, what is wrong with feeling emotions?

As for Mater Ecclesiae College (in Greenville, RI) there seems to be a change coming, in that they will begin to take in paying students, instead of being solely for RC women in formation. Interesting, given the financial constraints that the Movement now faces, as well as the dwindling number of vocations. No doubt it was to expand the clientele or close entirely. Should be an interesting year.

UPDATE: Speaking of 3gf's, Paul Lennon has translated an excellent blog post by Nieves Garcia, who explains why 340 of her former comrades have left the "consecrated" life.

UPDATE II: from the combox, we hear that the pre-candidacy in Wakefield, RI (Immaculate Conception Academy) is moving to Oxford, MI; thus the girls will be attending school in Michigan in the fall. Rumour is that the house--the old Cross and Passion convent--will be sold. No substantiation yet, hence no link.