Essays

I write comprehensive essays about my experiences managing my anxiety while rebuilding my online brand. I don’t hold back: I examine my own failings and share how I would change things now.

Living With Anxiety

Mental Health

I’m been suffering from generalized anxiety disorder for my whole adult life, since the age of 14. I definitely had signs of anxiety before that, but it didn’t get scary until my mid teens. I didn’t get properly diagnosed and medicated until I was 20.

These essays give an unfiltered view into the thought processes of someone suffering from severe generalized anxiety disorder. I’m trying to provide insight into how the anxiety physiologically impacts on me and the techniques I use to work through specific issues.

Sometimes the tone comes across as entitled or whingy and I am aware of that. When I am triggered though I have to become extremely selfish to get through the episode.

I wrote this essay after my condition had stabilized and I realized that I may never ‘recover’ from anxiety. I knew I’d had to completely change my plans and expectations for my life. It was a bit of a mindfuck however accepting my new reality gave me peace.

This essay is a bit boring but the timing is fascinating. This was two months before I realized my medication had stopped working and had changed to Pristiq. Here, I talk about how I was able to cope because of the extreme control I had over all facets of my life.

Treatment

Medication

The topic of treating anxiety with medication can be incredibly polarizing, and is an issue that can be a struggle for many people. In this essay, I explore why medication is a necessity for some people and try to reassure others that it isn’t a sign of weakness.

The Basics

My Schemas And Their Impact

Living With Anxiety

Love And Anxiety

Being in a long term relationship is difficult, and is something I struggled with for the first couple of years. These posts explore some of the difficulties I had and how my partner and I worked through them.

Identity

Many people base their identity on their illness, especially if they are very public about it. It caused me to question my motivations with publicly writing about anxiety.

Relapse and Recovery

In late 2016, I realized that my anxiety medication wasn’t working. I documented the fears and concerns I experienced as I trialled a new kind while trying to keep on top of day to day life. In later essays, I explore what it is like getting your life back.

Nighttime is one of the worst times for me, especially when I’m alone. It’s the time when you run out of distractions and energy, and your mind is free to attack itself. I don’t experience it now, but this is what it used to be like.