it’s just one those moments, that hits and then realise how much i miss her. maybe it’s the gloomy weather, the moments my thoughts in my head completely empty or just a word trigger i heard on radio. it doesn’t matter. driving alone with the radio on, i could feel my heart tighten in my chest a little, the feeling of wanting to cry but holding it back and then the tears trickle down 1 at a time.

i remember once when we were taking pictures and your mouth was soooo dry your lips kept getting stuck above your teeth. we couldn’t stop laughing which made it worst but we did manage to get some really nice pictures together. i also remember when i wanted to help you inject your medication, i wasn’t allowed to coz i was too young to handle a stringe.

when i told people you were in my dreams, they said i was lucky and i knew it too. it felt so real and it was like hanging out with you shopping, reading magazines, like our own girls day out and i loved it even though i woke up in dissapointment. i would be so sad that it was a dream that i would sulk and stay in bed, trying to sleep, hoping the dream can go on.

today is not an anniversary of you being gone, it is just a moment. just a moment that shows me that i will always miss you and sometimes i wish you were really here to see how my life is now. that i turned out ok and that you could be apart of it…..