This is undoubtedly the worst thing I have put in my mouth since I was 17 (don't ask). It's full foulness cannot be described, especially by me as I have taken just two sips of it. One when I opened it and another a few nights later to check I wasn't mistaken. And I wasn't. For a wine that has no actual faults it's awfulness is an achievement. It is bland, it is foul, it is cramped, it is dull, it appears to have been made without the intervention of grapes. For surely a thing so ghastly could not be a product of nature, only of men. Very unhappy, malicious men.

I am intending to use it in gravy, but I may not bring myself to do even this. It may look cheap, but you have been warned, don't do it.