Five Signs Your Coworker is Passive Aggressively Ruining your Career – and How to Deal

Plus Tips from Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office 101 to help you out

There is the office creep, the office flirt, the office a**hole, the office drunk, and many more. Today, SGM would like to call out the worst offender of all. You may think this person is your friend, but trust us, she isn’t. We are talking about the evil, passive aggressive coworker. Read the signs below to see if you have been a victim or even possibly the evil coworker yourself!

They assert their power unnecessarily and as frequently as possible.

Someone once told me that certain people with little power tend to exert that power in bizarre ways. Like the time our front desk receptionist wouldn’t give a bandaid to our part-time staffer without her first proving that she was, indeed, an employee.

Are you a victim? How to deal:

In the bandaid example, you’re in a tough spot. You don’t want to cause a scene and come off as the Crazy Co-Worker. It is sometimes best to just grit your teeth, smile, and know that at least you aren’t the nutcase holding bandaids hostage.

They withold information for no apparent reason.

This is the person who insists on being the only person in the department who knows what time you’re having the fire drill. Why this is important to him will forever be a mystery. This co-worker will leave you off of emails and hide information only because he doesn’t want you to have it. Because if you know when the fire drill is, you might have more power than him… right?

Are you a victim? How to deal:

Typically it works to simply ask for the information you know is being held back. Holding back information is such a passive aggressive move that these Evil Co-Workers will fold at the first sign of confrontation. So go on and find out when that damn fire drill is!

They take credit for other people’s accomplishments or ideas.

Be careful who you share ideas with. Be especially careful about this at happy hour. This coworker will take your idea and present it to your boss as her own WHILE she is smiling in your face.

Are you a victim? How to deal:

Once you realize who the Evil Co-Worker is, be extremely careful what you say around him or her. If you are found in a situation where your idea is maliciously being presented by someone else, speak up. Try, “Thank you so much for bringing up the idea I had that I told you about last week. Let me further explain.” Works like a charm.

They give backhanded compliments.

When someone compliments you for doing a simple task that is part of YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION, it’s a backhanded compliment. Evil Co-Worker doesn’t really think your memo was fabulous, she is mocking you for being able to write a competent email. When she says, “Thank you for writing such a clear and concise memo,” in front of God, your boss, and your co-workers, she’s actually implying that “your job is so menial that writing a memo must have been hard for you.” There is a special place in hell for people who give condescending compliments.

Are you a victim? How to deal:

This is another situation where you should just smile, nod, and take comfort in the fact that this person is wasting so much brain power trying to insult you. Everyone will be able to see through their actions and by keeping quiet, you won’t look like a psycho by arguing with someone over a “compliment.”

They call you out publicly instead of addressing you personally.

Have you ever been on an email chain and then the person you are “debating” suddenly copies your boss on the email? What about being called out on a mistake you made in the middle of a meeting instead of privately? We are here to help.

Are you a victim? How to deal:

This particular type of passive aggressive behavior should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. If Evil Co-Worker stoops so low to copy your boss on an email, there is really nothing you can do. Except, make sure you win the “debate.” If Evil Co-Worker calls you out in a meeting, it would be best to smile and say “Let’s not waste everyone’s time by talking about that here.” It’s a way to call Evil Co-Worker out on their petty passive aggressiveness in addition to their tendency to waste people’s time.

Are you the Evil Coworker?

Think long and hard before answering this one. Is it possible that you are the person everyone is avoiding at happy hour for fear of spilling a good idea? Do you have a tendency to copy the boss on emails that only make you look good? Good news, you don’t be this way forever. Therapy is your friend. Maybe you should consider the reasons you feel so powerless and why you insist on asserting yourself in silly ways.

Victims: Stop Making These Mistakes

From Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101

Pretending It Isn’t a Game

“The workplace is exactly that – a game. It has rules, boundaries, winners, and losers.”

Get with the times. The workplace is a giant high school all over again. There are principals, teachers, football players, cheerleaders, theatre nerds, math nerds, and everyone else. And it is also a popularity contest just like your teachers tried to tell you high school wasn’t. Each workplace has its own rule book, but they each have one, no matter where you are. Realizing this is the first step on the pyramid to tranquility.

Polling Before Making a Decision

“It’s a technique women use to avoid later confrontation.”

And it’s weak as sh*t.

You’ll never be seen as a leader if you always have to ask others before making a decision.

“How many copies should I make for the meeting?”“Um, enough for everyone in the meeting. Why the F are you asking me?”

Being highly decisive is not easy. It requires confidence, clarity, and a pretty large amount of “not giving a F*ck.” But it is a trait that is respected and we should all practice more of it.

Waiting to be Noticed

“You’ve got to know your brand and sell it when the opportunity arises.”

Did the co-worker who stole your idea and presented it as her own wait to be noticed? No. And neither should you. Be proud of your work, ideas, and accomplishments. Hell, be proud of the bean dip you brought to the potluck. The point is, take credit when it is due. If you don’t, Evil Co-Worker may very well just live on your ideas until she is President of the company.

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