Shopping the museums

The Nixon Library is not for rich people: it's for sweet, wild-eyed lower-middle-class True Believers. Therefore, the gift shop is reasonable: you can get a penny in a bottle for $1.75 or an array of Nixon-meets-Elvis shot glasses, pens, mugs and books for $2.95 to $5.95. You can get three presidential golf balls for $9.95—or a U.S. Marine Band CD featuring Sousa marches. Fun! The gift shop also does its sweet little best to suck money from Democrats and Republicans alike: you can get a donkey necktie or a bust of JFK. 18001 Yorba Linda Blvd., Yorba Linda, (714) 993-5075; www.nixonfoundation.org. Open Mon.-Sat., 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun., 10:30 a.m.-5 p.m.

Taco Bell Discovery Science Center. Extravagantest Item: programmable water-ballet fountain with music and choreography, $130. Best Buy: Pretty much everything, including the programmable water-ballet fountain with music and choreography.

Metropolitan Museum of Art store, South Coast Plaza. Dooziest of Most Expensive Things in a Whole Array of Nothing That Isn't Expensive: Selket, $2,950. Sure, it's a far cry from the face slap that is the Talavera horse, but keep in mind that the Talavera is an original, while the Selket is a copy of an 18th Dynasty Egyptian gold-leaf Selket-type-person. It actually looks kind of tacky, all bright, fake-lookin' gold that no one would ever think is real because it's just too shiny, like Jan Crouch. Go for the jewelry instead: designs are inspired by painted masterworks like Rembrandt's Aristotle With a Bust of Homer and the Flora necklace ($2,595 and $1,250, respectively), and they're beyootiful. Remember, you got away with all those stock options. Live it up. 3333 Bristol St., Ste. 1206, Costa Mesa, (714) 435-9160. Call for hours.