They shud hae brocht mair support. Whit wid ance hae been an airmy o Arabs ten thoosan strang hud been whittled awa tae a hardy few. United hae held the gree in the City o Discovery fir mony a lang year. Thi’d skelped Dundee in the derby, an gied the champions Celtic a bluidy neb at Tannadice in the league. A few year syne thi’d brocht the siller o the Scottish Cup tae the streets o thir city.

Neither team hud a goal in thum, so the gemme dragged itsel intae extra time. The anely figure in tangerine still movin wis a muckle, braid backit French chiel cryed Guy Demel. Fae the minit he wis subbied-oan he shawd professionalism, talent an endeavour. He swat, he focht, he did aa the fleein aboot his auld legs wid let him. But he didnae spik a wurd tae onybidy. Mibbie he doesnae ken them, bein fae France. Mibbie he kent they widnae listen. Either wey, he seemed tae be oan his tod oot there, pittin in tackles, daein his bit.

Extra time passed baith teams bi, an then it wis oan tae penalties. The first twa United pleyers tint thir chance o redemption an missed thir kicks. Guy Demel swaggered up tae the spot, hammered in a convincing, professional conversion, then swaggered awa again. ‘Ken this’, his swagger said, ‘white’er is gaen oan here isnae ma faut.’ He wisnae wrang. Though he probably thocht it in French.

Gin the match stertit like a wake fir United fans, it certainly feinished like ane. Grief biled up intae seethin anger in the tangerine pairt o the terraces. United fans stertin fechtin amang thirsels lik a muckle drunken, greivin faimly. Hard wurds suin cowped intae a rammy o fleein neives, an fir a bitty the bad auld days o Scottish fitba wir back at Hampden. The polis took an age tae get intae the thrang o argy-bargyin fans, bi which time the damage wis duin.

The clash that nicht in howf an hame wis baith wild an soor. Paul Paton, the captain an ae-time savior o the club had skelped some boy in the pus, some said. The club owner hud aa bit signed a deal tae affload the club ance they wir relegatit, said anithir.

The last twa-three year hus seen Dundee cast aff its auld image o a toon on the broo. The cooncil biggin thit aye scarred the centre is awa, an hauf the schemes hae bin dinged doon wi dynamite. The city’s fund its smeddum. But richt at the hert o this rebirth wis the Tangerine Dream up the brae at Tannadice. Thoosans wir pourin oot ay tenements ir comin in fae the hills tae see United on a Seturday, tae see the young lads pley wi style an flair. Noo aa that’s awa, an United are aboot tae be relegatit. Will we see echt thoosan fowk stow-oot the V&A insteid? Will Lorraine Kelly, United’s celebrity fan, bide in the stauns fir the fower gemmes agin Morton neist year? Will the clash anent haein ae single Dundee City team re-emerge? Naebody kens fir certain whit the future hauds. But noo it seems that thon licht o hope aye growin brichter in the lift ower Tannadice hus been an incomin meteor aa alang.

Alistair Heather is a student o Historie, French an Gaelic atween Geneva an Aiberdeen Universities.[Editor’s note fae Billy Kay. As the Scots editor belangin the tangerine side o the muckle divide in Dundee, can I say that I’m still eident for the aforesaid corp tae be gien galvanic electric shock treatment in the foarm o a win ower Hamilton at the weekenn. ‘Mon the Terrors.]

The only time I have ever heard Glasgow pronounced “Glesgae” is when a Scottish accent is being badly mimicked. Having been born and lived in Glasgow as well as 11 years in Aberdeen (the rest in London) I would suggest that the Scottish vernacular would be better served by “Glesga” the way it is rightly pronounced in most of Scotland. just sayin’

Wrong. Glesgae is common on the east coast of Scotland, which is where the writer comes from. Coming from Ayrshire originally I would say Glesga, but among my West Fife family members Glesgae would definitely be used. Back in the ’80’s I once used the term Glesga in a tv programme and an irate lady wrote in to say she had not heard it used since she had frequented the music halls in the 1930’s. I asked her which institution she had been locked up in, in the intervening years.

Ken. Naebdy has earned relagation as completely as United this season.
Tehy huvane Hibs’ed it. They huvnae had a points deduction. They’ve just been a muckle piniata of points, gettin skelped aff every team int he league aa season.

Richly sick of this shite. You need to find the language, not just transliterate English into some dreadful, dissonant pseudo-Scots. Example: ‘bluidy neb’ a witless substitution for the English ‘bloody nose’. Can’t you find a euphonious Scottish phrase that expresses the same idea, out of the way we really speak to each other – or are you just using an app on your phone? So much of this stuff just looks like internet conversion of metric to imperial. Creakingly dull.

Language is art and inheritance, not your dumb table of equivalences. I’d set the bar pretty high. Take a look at the language. It would be nice to have it back again, even just a little.