For The Weekenders: Elephant Polo in India, Road Rallying in Morocco, Hot Tubs and Skiing in Australia

I’ve always been a fan of the classic sports. Fencing…Equestrian…Track…Polo…

Especially the last one. In fact, Polo is especially fun when it’s done with an elephant. Forget the horse – it’s time to think bigger.

Much bigger.

Honestly, Elephant Polo is the perfect excuse to hop on a plane and get your bum over to Asia – more accurately, India, to be specific. Picture it – you hop on a plane with a simple but well thought out bag – enough supplies for about one week and then some.

The flight is long, and the movies offered are crap, so you entertain yourself by ordering a few minis from the on plane bar. Pop open your laptop, ask for ice and some nibbles, and watch a fairly good movie for laughs like Badmaash Company to get yourself in the rhythm of the trip. While you’re at it you use the plane’s Wi-fi to double check and confirm your reservation at Jai Mahal Palace, a very important thing to do as this is where all the action will be happening.

Things like giant chess.

Hours later you get off the plane, check-in to your breathtaking room, and ask the concierge where and when exactly polo will be happening, so you can double check to see if you have all your gear ready. Once you’re done with that, you decide you take a nap to shake some of the jet lag.

Since you’re liquored up but sober enough not to fall off the gentle beast who’ll be your teammate for the next few hours, you decide to suit up and head outside to see what’s in store. If you’ve never played, don’t worry – you’ll be educated on how everything works and warned that although the animals may look sluggish – it’s actually a very fast paced game.

Holy shit snacks.

With a bit of practice before you know it you’re up and running, bonding with your elephant to the point of developing a nickname for it.

From here the game begins, the field is played, and the score is close. You soon realize that this actually is just a tad trickier than regular polo, with the height difference and all…

…but the thought of post-game Melon Balls and Alabama Fizzles while chatting up someone at the bar who thought that last shot was impressive, encourages you to press on and you totally end up kicking ass, despite it being your first time. Win for you.

After all the boozing and schmoozing with elite socialites, you feel compelled to get back in touch with your inner, nature loving side. Plus it’s your third time to India, and you’re ready to try somewhere new, somewhere different, somewhere, fresh.

So the tree hugger in you brings Morocco to mind – and ironically you think up something where there’s often not a tree in sight. More like sand…and then more sand.

…and then a random Jeep.

Ready for something more adventurous, you decide to try your hand at some desert driving, getting in contact with Hassan Rakmi, a skilled but stern-faced man who’ll be your guide over the next week for The Desert Road Rally – an extreme adventure facilitated by Abercrombie and Kent. Fucking brill.

Now if you know anything about the desert, it’s brutal…hot during the day…cold at night – but, since you’re here for fun and with no intention of chiseling yourself into the next G.I. Joe/Jane, you laugh confidently at the thought of such things. Why? Because you know you’ll be expediting in style.

White dinner table cloth and all.

Starting out in Ouarzazate, you get a quick safety briefing and then off you go zooming towards Ramlia, passing breathtaking scenery and endless sandscapes, until arriving safely at your camp. Comfy bed? Check. Shower? Check. Classy dinner? Check.

From there you hop back into your 4×4 and spend the next 4-5 days enjoying the wind in your hair and the sand up your nostrils while speeding across limitless open land, with nothing but a GPS, two-way radio and Moroccan beats pumping from your iPod. You were born for this.

Day 6 and you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find you’re in for a treat, arriving in Marrakech where plenty of fun awaits at Djemaa el-Fna square, where you can feast your eyes (and ears) on fun stuff like fire eaters, mime artist, snake charmers and street musicians – all there for your viewing pleasure, presenting the perfect opportunity to use that rugged camcorder you’ve been hauling around with you.

Record, photograph, and record some more. Rest up and catch the next flight out – because from here, after all that sand and sun, it’s time for hot tubs and skiis in Aussie-land.

This isn’t Hotel California.

I’m talking an all out play ground of ridiculously awesome things to do, varying from season to season, including but not limited to outdoor cinemas, fishing, mountain biking, skateboarding and naturally, skiing/snowboarding.

With such an endless list of things to do, there’s no excuse not to have a good and memorable time. Pick from a 1, 2, or 3 bedroom setup (or, take the pent house like me) –

Why yes, there is room for two.

gather a choice group, and prepare for a night full of good drinks and even better views from your very own private hot tub. Yeah you read right – your own hot tub nestled comfortably atop your room’s balcony.

Swimwear optional – Grey Goose mandatory.

If you’ve never been to Australia now’s the time to go – but be warned once you stay at QT Falls Creek, you may not want to leave.