Bicyclists favoring more exclusive lanes, including lanes along Cleveland Avenue, have reached out to politely tell me that not all bicyclists are 22. I knew that.

And many cyclists tried to sell me on the notion that they use bicycles exclusively for their transportation. One woman told me that her family bicycles, period, and not just for recreation. I am not buying that, by the way. Is she out there in a blizzard?

Speaking of which, I do not, for the life of me, understand the dust-up a while back over a pedal pub in Minneapolis. It apparently came under attack by marauding squirt gunners who found out that on board the pub were six off-duty Burnsville police officers.

A series of opinion pieces followed in the Enemy Paper, indicating that a great divide exists in our society on the matter of pedal pubs. I had no idea they are so loathed by some. You would think that the bicycle activists alone could elevate the pedal pub to an unchallenged position of acclaim.

That was over Memorial Day weekend, when horrible accounts of murder were reported from the likes of Baltimore and Chicago. We have it pretty good around here. We had a pedal pub attack.

In any event, when I suggested that families should come first when considering turning more of our streets over to bicycles, there was quite an outpouring of emails and telephone calls. Most respondents agreed that Cleveland Avenue was a lousy place to enforce more social engineering. I heard from business owners who want to preserve parking. And I heard from the families I was trying to champion that they don’t let their kids ride on dedicated bicycle lanes anyway because it is too dangerous, perhaps referring to adult cyclists, many of whom, but not all, ignore absolutely every rule of the road. Like stopping at a stop sign.

Remember that this is coming to you from a fellow who has made his peace with bicyclists. I rode feverishly until a few years ago, when my knees gave out. I gave up motorcycles, but I have kept a scooter, so green am I that I can conduct 77 miles worth of errands on one gallon of gasoline on my own two wheels.

My favorite response was from a woman with a funny name — one of those names where the alphabet got tossed up in the air — who told me that she bicycles to and from work, to any event, social or otherwise, to the store, what have you.

Really? You ride your bike to social events? Don’t you get sweaty? I’m wondering what would constitute a social event that you could ride your bike to. Let’s say you’re going to an art museum charity fundraiser. Do you wear a dress? Valet park?

I’m not buying that, any more than I am buying the mother who says her entire family bicycles to everything. No you don’t. You think you do, but when you look back over the year, you are in your car when it rains, when it is cold, when it is snowing.

At best, we have a seven-month bicycle season, April through October. Yes, the truly dedicated souls are out there 12 months a year, but the vast majority of people who claim that the bicycle is their chief form of transportation are demonstrating a lively imagination.

You put away your colorful jerseys and tight shorts just like everybody else.

I’d like to see you get a kid and his hockey gear to the rink on a bicycle. And when the baby has an earache, I am highly doubtful you are pedaling to the doctor.

As for Cleveland Avenue, it should remain Cleveland Avenue, as it has since 1886, for vehicles, first horse-drawn, then motorized. If you think so, too, there is a petition started by the neighbors on either side of the avenue, between Summit and Highland Parkway.

The public hearing on the proposed changes to Cleveland Avenue is scheduled for 5:30 p.m. Wednesday in the St. Paul City Council chambers.

Joe Soucheray’s "Garage Logic" podcast can be heard at garagelogic.com.

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