I’m not a competitive person. I’d rather purposefully sprain my ankle on the starting line and watch from the sidelines than attempt to tie for last place in a 50-yard dash.

Yet, when it comes to Halloween, something switches into full gear, and I’m like Man O’ War amped up on Red Bull waiting for the starting gates to burst open.

So yes, if you’re reading this blog some time before October 31st, you can assume that I’m totally jonesin’ to get to work on my Halloween costume. Instead of allowing myself to bubble over the edges here, I think a lot of that energy can be directed at helping YOU put together the best Halloween costume that ever existed (this year).

Here are my personal 5 things that go into conceiving and producing the best Halloween costume ever (this year):

1. Relevant, but not the obvious choiceDo I look down on the massive population of young men who in fall 2008 all turned up in Dark Knight Joker clown make up? No. But would I have chosen that as my costume? Of course not. You want your costume to be relevant, but that doesn’t mean you have to blend into the crowd as just another girl dressing up like Sarah Palin. For instance, one year I was Alexander Hamilton. He’s not currently running for president or in any current blockbusters, but he’s part of the fabric that makes up American culture, and he’s on every ten dollar bill, so he’s relevant.

2. Practical to put together or constructIf you’re going to truly impress, buying a costume out of the bag will not suffice and you will have to assemble your own costume for originality’s sake. Yes, this is a large task, so make sure it’s actually doable. If you decide to decorate your Nemo costume with 1,002 hand-blown glass scales, you will fail. Be practical. You are not Heidi Klum. Unless Heidi Klum is reading this.

3. RelatableYou want your costume to work in the way a stand up wants her jokes to work. The joke hits when the audience is all nodding their heads saying “YES! That’s totally happened to me!” You want your costume to do the same thing.

4. Is there a twist?The costumes that go down in history have the extra little nudge that brings them closer to the top. It usually comes in the form of a twist. For example, not to beat a dead horse, but as Alexander Hamilton, the twist, per say, was that all my housemates were other Founding Founders and we brought an oversized Declaration of Independence to the party to have everyone sign. Yes, it was the best night of my life.