37 Numbers A Woman Will Lie About Always And Forever

ByGigi Engle

Jan 19 2015

We women are prone to tell white lies. This is a fact that cannot be denied -- even though we’ll definitely try to. As much as any one of us wants to be “The Cool Girl” or “The Together Girl,” there will always be certain truths from which we will abscond.

It doesn’t make us truly dishonest individuals, it just merely helps us to reflect a certain version of ourselves we’d like others to see (and not judge). As much as we claim not to give a f*ck about what people think of us, most of us secretly do -- even if it’s just a little bit.

Sometimes it’s easier to stretch the truth (see: downright lie) about certain things than it is to admit that we have flaws, control issues and trouble keeping track of our personal budgets.

None of us ladies wants to admit we took an entire Papa John’s cheese pizza to the face nor do we want to own up to the fact that we spent $300 on a pair of strappy sandals that we’ll wear twice and throw into the back of our overstuffed closets. We’d rather just gloss over what really happened.

These plentiful lies are very often of the numeric variety. There always have been and always will be numbers that women lie about.

Even if you don’t find yourself guilty of every single one of these, if you claim none apply, you’re a f*cking liar (get it -- see, you can't win, girl). Just embrace it. It’s part of being a woman.

These are all of the numbers that women will always, without a doubt, without a moment’s hesitation, lie about.

37. The amount of money you spent on those shoes.

They were on sale.

36. How much you spent on hair and makeup.

Oh me? I woke up like this.

35. How long you spent at the gym.

I mean, if you went at all because you lie about that, too.

34. The amount of time you wait before responding to a text.

You were so busy you didn’t even notice he texted you. You have better things to do than sit around and think about a guy.

33. Your size.

What’s cutting it down from a 4 to a 1 for posterity?

32. The number of times you masturbated to one (or both, whatever) of the Hemsworth brothers.

Who cares about the haters, you know Liam totally got robbed for “Sexiest Man Alive.”

31. The number of times you ordered Seamless last Saturday.

You’re a grown woman, so you grocery shop…

30. The number of $1 slices you had last night.

You had the whole pie, but if anyone asks... you only ate the cheese off one slice.