Expensive gifts are tricky to give. For a select few people, the holidays aren’t a time to seek out the best deals on presents for your loved ones, but a chance to show off how spectacular a gift you’re capable of giving. High-end gifts are no joke. Things as simple as bed linens can cost thousands of dollars depending on one’s tolerance for spending. Below is a list of seven expensive gifts you probably can’t afford this holiday season.

A Diamond Encrusted USB Flash Drive

Let’s face it, having a USB stick on your person at all times is smart. You never know when you might have to save a quick file or snag something from a friend’s computer. If you’re going to carry one around, why not make it mushroom-shaped and full of gold and diamonds? According to Yahoo News, Swiss jewelry maker La Maison Shawish offers its luxury Magic Mushroom flash drive for the high-end technology geek. It can hold up to 32GB of data, which is a lot for a flash drive, but still feels a little like a slap in the face given the item's price tag.

If you want to be a good son or daughter, buy your dad a sports car. If you want to be a great son or daughter, buy him one that’s also a sub. Inspired by James Bond’s similar vehicle in “The Spy Who Loved Me,” this car can drive on the highway and underwater thanks to the use of two water jets mounted on the front of the vehicle. This allows it to be steered underwater. Not only is this gift incredibly cool, it’s also practical. Traffic on the bridge? Just swim under it. Take that, morning commute.

Price: $2,000,000

Diamond Pacifier

For once, get someone in your life a gift they’ll actually use. Sure, the person who is going to suck on this pacifier with 28 pave-cut white diamonds probably can’t walk or even pronounce the word “diamond,” but that won’t stop him or her from enjoying this swanky gift, courtesy of Personalized Pacifiers. Your child will be the talk of the playground sporting this lovely little accessory that he or she probably won’t even want to grow out of. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen when putting thousands of dollars worth of rocks in a baby’s mouth?

Price: $17,000

Roses Dipped In Gold

Anyone can send roses to the person they love. It takes real creativity, and deep pockets, to have someone dip those roses in 24 karat gold first. Luckily, the people at “The Forever Rose” make it possible for you to hand your sweetheart a bouquet that would make a pirate faint and an old-timey prospector drool. People say that money can’t buy love, but here is your chance to really find out.

This one is pretty much a no-brainer. No one on Earth has so many friends that they can’t add one more. Especially if that one more is a dancing robot. According to Hammacher Schlemmer, this is the same robot avatar design that’s been featured (totally seriously for sure) in movies and television. Controlled by a remote, this life-sized pal can do anything it’s commanded and provide hours of endless entertainment to your loved ones and their friends. It’s like giving someone a full-sized roommate who doesn’t even have to pay rent!

Price: $345,000

A Gold Mountain Bike

Nothing says “grit” and “rugged” like a gold-plated mountain bike. Give the gift of fitness, pedestrian freedom and the inability to safely ride alone in bad neighborhoods this holiday season. Each part was individually plated in 24K gold before assembly, according to The House of Solid Gold. It’s not every day someone gets to ride up to the park and do a few laps in a bike that’s more expensive than most of the cars people drove that day.

Price: $495,000

Just A Simple Card

Sure it’s easy to go all out and buy something ostentatious for the people in your life. However, sometimes the best course of action is to send a simple card that expresses in words and pictures the way you feel. Still, there’s no reason that this strategy can’t be crazy expensive. Guilded Age Greetings specializes in high-end greeting cards for every occasion. From Christmas and Chanukah to Valentines Day and weddings, these expensive and artistic greeting cards may be just the thing to give the person in your life who is impossible to buy for.