20/20 HINDSIGHT: PART ONE

By Nancy French 30 Mar 2007

I’ve never seen Judi Giuliani before, except in photos or maybe flashed across the screen. So, I’m happy to see her first interview on national television. First of all, she looks great–definitely could “look the part” of First Lady… whatever that means. (As you’ve seen in her wedding photos, she wore a tiara when they married. Some say this is not just a fashion statement, but a foreshadowing of her desire to be in this spotlight–part of the Giuliani royalty.)
She says she didn’t tell of her secret marriage because no one brought it up. I guess, in restrospect, that’s not the kind of thing you’d bring up with someone. Have you asked your spouse whether they had a secret marriage? David, now that I’m thinking of it, have you? Feel free to e-mail me privately. (To be fair, although the press and some of her closest friends were in the dark, Rudy said he knew of her marriages all along.)
Barbara asked her about the dissolution of Marriage Two, which put her in financial straits. At this point, she says that she was most proud of being a “single, working mom”–that she was so happy she had that time period in her life because it made her a much stronger person.
Do you know what I wish she would’ve said? “You know, I hate that I deprived my daugher of a stable, two-parent home, but I made the best of a bad situation. I did the best I could, and I thrived by learning from my mistakes.”
It seems the all-too-often the phrase “single working mom” causes people to congratulate the woman for overcoming odds and being so “strong”–regardless of the circumstance of their divorce. I don’t know the cause or reason of Judi’s second marriage. (Or first, for that matter.) I just know a divorced person sends the wrong message by saying, as did Judi tonight, that she was “happy” for being a single, working mom…even if it did make her stronger. Even if it was a “growth period.” Didn’t we finally agree that–as outdated as he may’ve seemed–Dan Quayle was right to rail against Murphy Brown’s fatherless culture?
Frequently, the children of “broken homes” (no one uses that language anymore, do they?) are mere bystanders as parents go through crises, therapy, or just general growing up. They are observers, victims, collateral damage, witnesses. Which, I presume, is why Andrew Giuliani is estranged from his father.
Barbara does ask Rudy how he feels about Andrew blaming Judi for their bad relationship. As Rudy answers the question, the best he can, Judi leans over and pats him on the face. Something about this public display of affection creeped me out a bit, but maybe it’s because this keeps coming back to my mind no matter how much I try to push it out.
More to come…

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