TV:[SpongeBob is watching the movie while eating popcorn] We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theater presentation of Night of the Robot.

Dan Povenmire:[screaming while being chased by a giant robot]

SpongeBob: Hurry, Gary, the scary robot movie's on.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: What do you mean I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out. [scene cuts to SpongeBob lying in his bed, whimpering and shivering] What if Mom is a robot? What if Uncle Sherm is a robot? What if Gary is a robot? Gary? [Gary is sleeping] Psst, Gary? Gere-Bear? [pokes Gary's eye, causing him to wake up]

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Gary, if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Oh, I've got nothing to worry about. And now to get a good night's sleep. [goes to sleep. Dreams about running from the giant robot from the movie earlier. Scene cuts to the next day at the Krusty Krab, with SpongeBob in the kitchen, panting] Robot! Oh my gosh! [robot turns out to be a sack of potatoes, a dust pan and broom, and a bucket] Huh? [chuckles nervously. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs holding down his money on Mr. Krabs' desk]

Mr. Krabs: How about a little music to count me money to? [turns on the radio that is next to him]

Radio DJ:[From the radio] And now for the #1 song in Bikini Bottom: "Electric Zoo."[techno beat is heard. Mr. Krabs starts counting his money]

Squidward:[takes off the hat and puts it back on SpongeBob's head] I'm not wearing your hat on my nose, I'm waiting for #17's order!

SpongeBob: #17 -- [holds up a tray with food] Krabby Patty and a medium beverage. Course. Sorry Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today. I guess I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking robots are taking over the world, probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Gary if he was a robot! Pretty funny, huh?

Squidward:[sarcastically] Hilarious. Just deliver the food.

SpongeBob:[delivers the food to Thaddeus] There you go! Enjoy your... Say, you're not a robot, are you?

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh. Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds? Could it be that he's... [scene zooms in on him] ...a robot? Nah. [peeks into the window again and sees Mr. Krabs doing a robot dance on his desk. He jumps onto Squidward's arms] Oh, Squidward, it's terrible! Mr. Krabs... talking to radio... beeping sounds... strange dancing... robot!

Squidward:[picks up SpongeBob off his arms] That's great, SpongeBob. Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen? [throws him in the kitchen. Squidward laughs, but SpongeBob reappears beside him. Squidward is confused and looks around for how he did it]

SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward! Mr. Krabs is a robot. And I can prove it, too.

Squidward:[confused] How did you...?

SpongeBob: Let's see, in the movie the robots didn't have a sense of humor! They couldn't laugh. Hey, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:[runs up to the counter] What is it, boy?

SpongeBob: Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it.

Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying you to do stand up, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work!

SpongeBob:[gasps] Not even a chuckle. See, Squidward? He didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's... [scene zooms in on him] ...a robot.

Squidward: There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob. He's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Krabs is a robot is because you watched that stupid movie. Now why don't you...

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:[runs up to the counter again] What? What is it, boy?

SpongeBob: Squidward's father never hugged him. Isn't that sad? [pretends to cry]

Mr. Krabs: Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself during his break! Now get back to work!

SpongeBob: Just like the robot in the movie. He couldn't cry either.

Squidward: SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous. I'll have you know my father loved me very much!

SpongeBob: I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you! [Mr. Krabs makes a blank expression on his face]

Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, Mr. Squidward.

SpongeBob:[gulps] Squidward? [Mr. Krabs is at his desk writing something when the radio stops working. Radio breaks with electronic breakage sound effect.]

Mr. Krabs: Aw, me radio died! [takes out the batteries] Hmmm, these batteries still have a little juice in 'em. I know! I'll give 'em to Pearl for Christmas. [puts the batteries in his back pocket. A bell rings and then Mr. Krabs walks over to a pot of boiling water] Me hard-boiled egg is ready! [picks up a pair of tongs] I can already taste it. Come to Papa. [takes the egg out of the water with his tongs] Got ya! And what good is a hot-boiled egg without a little salt? [picks up a pinch of salt]

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:[breaks the egg and accidentally tosses the full salt shaker into his eyes] Ahhh! Oh, my eyes! [starts screaming]

SpongeBob: Mr... [Squidward puts his hand over SpongeBob's mouth]

Squidward: Will you be quiet? Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like?

SpongeBob: Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries.

Squidward: Okay, so tell me, does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?

Mr. Krabs:[Barges out screaming; his eyes are piercing red, his pair of the tongs snip, then it shows the batteries in his pocket]

SpongeBob & Squidward:[both screaming]

Mr. Krabs:[continues screaming as he goes into the bathroom]

Squidward: I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy!

SpongeBob:[runs over to the phone] Hello, Operator? Get me the Navy!

Operator: Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.

SpongeBob: Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!

Squidward: Not the Navy! [over loudspeaker] Attention, everyone, run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world! [everyone is silent] Our world! [all the customers run out screaming] What do we do now?

Mr. Krabs:[walks out of the bathroom, his eyes back to normal] Ah, that's better. [walks back to his office] Bee-boo-boo-boo-bee-bop, boo-boo-bop.

Squidward: We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how?

SpongeBob: Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot.

Squidward: They poop on the robot?

SpongeBob: Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information.

Squidward: I never thought I'd say this, but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop! [grabs the book titled How To Torture and reads it with SpongeBob. SpongeBob grabs some rope while Squidward grabs a hammer and a saw. SpongeBob also grabs some old comedy records. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office, where SpongeBob & Squidward enter]

Mr. Krabs: Oh, hello, boys. [they are at the door with angry expressions on their faces] What can I do for you? [SpongeBob & Squidward lock the door, making Mr. Krabs look nervous] Heh-heh, why did you lock the door? [nervously] Why do you have that rope? Who's watching the cash register?! [shot of outside the Krusty Krab where loud crashing and everyone screaming can be heard. Back in the office, Squidward ties Mr. Krabs to a chair] SpongeBob! Squidward! What's the meaning of this?! Untie me this instant!

Squidward: Shut up! [slaps Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: Sweet Davy Jones, what the heck is going on?!

Squidward: I said "shut up!," you bucket of bolts! [slaps him again]

SpongeBob: I can't take it! [runs off, crying]

Squidward: SpongeBob, are you okay?

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch!

Squidward: No, that's not Mr. Krabs. That's Robot Krabs. [Mr. Krabs is trying to get out of his chair]

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.

Squidward: And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know.

Mr. Krabs:[confused, then angrily yells] What?! [his yelling knocks over the light and SpongeBob] You think I'm a robot?!

Squidward: We don't think; we know.

Mr. Krabs: That's the silliest thing I ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs!

Squidward:[walks over to SpongeBob] He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way.

SpongeBob: I got an idea. [pokes Squidward's nose] Keep an eye on him, Squidward. Don't fall for any of his robot tricks. [runs out and returns later] If Robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is, maybe one of his little robot friends will. [holds up a blender]

Squidward: SpongeBob, uhh, that's a blender.

SpongeBob: Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before. He called it his "little buddy."

Squidward: Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs: You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy.

Squidward: We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows. [SpongeBob sets the blender on Mr. Krabs' desk. Squidward holds up a bat]

Mr. Krabs:[panicking] No, wait! What are you going to do with me blender?! That cost me money!

Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs? [shot of the blender] Not talking, eh? [breaks the blender with the bat]

Mr. Krabs: No! That cost me $24.95!

SpongeBob: I guess it didn't know anything.

Squidward: Go get the toaster. [SpongeBob gets the toaster then puts it on Mr. Krabs' desk]

Mr. Krabs: No, not me toaster. That cost me $32.50! [Squidward breaks the toaster and then SpongeBob sets a food processor on the desk] $62.67! [Squidward breaks it with the bat. SpongeBob picks up a coffee maker and puts it on the desk] Four... well, actually, that one was a gift. [Squidward breaks it] Nooo!

SpongeBob:[while trying to put the cash register on Mr. Krabs' desk] This is the last robot, Squidward.

Mr. Krabs: No, not my cash register! I raised it myself. I got it when it was just a little calculator. [crying] No! [sobbing and then sobbing louder]

Squidward: I thought you said robots can't cry.

SpongeBob: I also said they couldn't love.

Mr. Krabs:[crying] I loved it like it was me own.

SpongeBob: Uh, at least he's not laughing.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share! [sobbing]

Squidward: SpongeBob uhh, how did that movie of yours end?

SpongeBob: The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great! Turns out there weren't any robots after all. It was just their... imagination. [chuckles nervously as if he anticipates Squidward to be angry at him, then checks his watch] Hey, it's time to feed Gary. [runs out while Squidward smiles nervously at Mr. Krabs and then grabs a broom and sweeps the broken pieces on the floor. Mr. Krabs becomes infuriated]