Saturday, May 15, 2010

Tracy Jordan's Non-sequitors in Emanuelle Goes to Dinosaur Land

TRACY: It's all coming back to me! Oh my God!I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs!I watched a prostitute stab a clown!Our basketball hoop was a rib cage. A rib cage!

Why did you bring me here? I blocked all of this stuff out for a reason.

Oh lord! Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!DOTCOM: Tray, use this pain to get your Oscar.TRACY: I hate pain! I'm doing Garfield III and as soon as I make some copies of my passport I'm never coming back here! Move!

[On the movie set.]

Well, I'm sorry Sean and child actor whose name I can't remember. You haven't walked in my shoes. All my life I've tried to forget the things I've seen.A crackhead breastfeeding a rat.A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on the third rail of the "G Train." The G Train Nermel!There's something inside of me that needs to come out! And if Garfield III: Feline Groovy can't tell my story, then I'll win my Oscar elsewhere. Or I'll die trying!

[Back in the stairwell.]

I've seen a blind guy bite a police horse!A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom!I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it!I seen a hooker eat a tire!A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's!The sewer people stole my skateboard!The project I lived in was named after Zachery Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time!