Curved ball from left field

Spiky till it hurts, what better image to portray that than the Three of Swords.

I have been wanting to write about 3 Swords since last year (haha, trick there ~ since the last day of 2018!) but had gotten distracted here and there by different better topics to blog about. Ah well, but today’s the 3rd of Jan! So it is timely. 🙂

This is one card I absolutely hate (or fear) to draw. When it appears, I basically shut down. I end up either reading it superficially, or glancing through the entire reading and then redo-ing it altogether. It is only a minor arcana, what am I so afraid of? It is only one of the swords, not that I like any of the swords anyway. All of the swords hurt, honestly. Just that Three hurts the most. Even Ten does not hurt that much. Well well well, I picked it during a Christmas weekend reading, and then I picked it again during the new year reading. Fortunately, my wise and thoughtful bestie sat through it with me and made me go through it (instead of just ruffling up the whole spread and redoing) and helped me see it for what it is. And so yes, it hurts, but once we see it, the hurt is gone – that experience was exactly what the card is portraying.

So yes, I (finally) got curious and started reading more into the explanations of what it means / can mean. It is really not as bad as I imagined to be. I had always just swept it off my face as “heartbreak” and then threw all the broken pieces away and imagined it never happened, I never picked it. This time, I plowed through tonnes of materials – I will not explain the obvious, but will just write about the misunderstood part. You can read more from these sites that I always refer to, links below.

The Three of Swords often arrives when you are taking others’ words to heart. You may be more prone to internet trolls, workplace bullies or spiteful strangers. Or it may be closer to home, with those you love saying hurtful words to you – just remember that you do not have to accept their words as truth; they are merely another person’s opinion or a projection of their own inner fears and anxieties. Shift the energy by looking at these people with a compassionate heart: what struggles are they going through that they feel they need to throw their insecurities at you? Be mindful, too: why are their words triggering you? Is there a more profound truth in what they’ve said, one you might not be willing to see just yet? Use these pain points to expand your perspective and see the bigger picture of what is happening here.

Bestie is a genius. Bestie really drove the nail right in and poked around asking about what was fundamentally triggering me that I was not willing to see. It really sucked to get this card for the festive season, but in retrospect, it really pricked me deep into admitting what hurts. People trivialising what I am doing that I think/feel is extremely meaningful and dear/precious. People not realising that it comes with a lot of hard work, heartache that I just do not share because I am do not want to cave into the exhaustion. People assuming the lowest rung possible of what the heck I was doing. Looking deeper, it is not their words that prick. It was the connotation behind their words, which was in fact the underlying insecurities and the lowliness I viewed myself. And of course, the judgement of certain things as “low” hence the lowliness I viewed myself.

Taking it a little too far. But … arghz. I hate it when I drill it right down to the core. It just sounds too ridiculously (and painfully) correct. But the minute I saw it for what it is/was, I am free. The truth can really set one free.

The Three of Swords asks us to face the hard truths we may have been avoiding. It’s time to analyze them by using both our emotions and our mental energy. This can be a very painful and uncomfortable time, but growth always stems from diving deep into ourselves, and facing our inner shadows without being afraid of them.

Like this:

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Don’t know much about Tarot… I’ve only had one reading, back in college. But if you think about it, this is the kind of thing that’s probably good to start a new year with — wringing-out the old laundry so it doesn’t demand so much attention later on. Issues of “status” are tough nuts to crack, deeply inter-wound with self-image and the ways in which we choose to pursue both purpose and happiness in our lives… conflicting desire versus emotion versus knowledge. We are always our own worst critics because we know those conflicts and our own doubts about how they resolve, even if unjustifiable. But in a calm heart, there is a place for all three.

Tarot is fun, we uncover layers of meanings as we grow. For years, I read it as an omen for heartbreak/betrayal, and it was like an “Ouch ouch, I don’t want to know about it, please don’t let that happen”. It was only last night reading/writing this that I learnt the emotional pain is from the clarity of thought (ice cold swords stabbing right through the soft warm heart), but that also means once we gain that clarity of thought of what hurts, or gaining the clarity of thought itself that hurts, we get over it.
So yes, it is good clearance for a fresh start. I didn’t even realise I was so affected by people’s views, but I do realise words can really stab hard, not just thorny and irritating. And it is more than just observing boundaries and the people we are surrounded with. Rather, it is identifying what that deep wound really is (and noticing its existence.. its painful existence.. and the swords only wring now).

It is helpful to know where insecurities come from – usually from other people’s insecurities. Only way is forward, knowing that none of us are perfect but we can be kind. And you are very kind, Oh Border.