Reptile Dysfunction: Portland Woman Gets Python Stuck In Her Ear

A Portland, Ore., woman recently went to the hospital to seek treatment for an ear snake.

Ashley Glawe says that last week her pet ball python Bart became lodged in her gauged earlobe upon seeking new slithering grounds from atop her shoulder.

“I was holding my snake and his dumb ass saw a hole, which just so happened to be my f***** earlobe, and thought that it would be a bright idea to attempt to make it through,” Glawe posted to Facebook from the emergency room. “It all happened SO fast that before I even knew what was going on it was already too late.”

Glawe said that doctors at Portland Adventist Hospital treated the reptile dysfunction by numbing her ear and using “stringing to pull and stretch it out more so that they could get him out without hurting him.”

“Now, believe it or not I’m sitting here in the emergency room with Bart stuck in my fucking ear,” Glawe wrote.