Not perfectly on topic, I realize, but I thought it belonged here. Sort of like a warm up act.

Florida Man Accidentally Shoots Himself In Penis After Sitting On Gun

Cedrick Jelks, 38, may face criminal charges for possession of the firearm.

A man in Jacksonville, Florida, accidentally shot himself in the penis after sitting on a gun, according to local reports.

A Florida man accidentally shot himself in the penis after sitting on a gun ― and local reports say he may now face criminal charges for possessing the firearm in the first place.

A woman told police that her boyfriend, 38-year-old Cedrick Jelks, unwittingly sat down on a loaded gun in the driver’s seat of his car early Friday morning. The gun reportedly went off, shooting the man in the groin.

Jelks, whose car had been outside his girlfriend’s home, dashed into the house and made a beeline for the bathroom, reported WKMG-TV. Jelks’ girlfriend said she took him to a nearby hospital where he underwent surgery. His condition is currently unknown.

According to WJXT-TV, police arrived at the hospital at about 3 a.m. to investigate the cause of the wound. Jelks, they determined, had a previous conviction for cocaine possession, making it illegal for him to own a gun.

He may now face criminal charges for possessing a firearm, the sheriff’s office told The Associated Press.

According to records from the Jacksonville Department of Corrections, Jelks has been arrested on several occasions, most recently in 2009 for driving under the influence.

Smudge wrote:

A woman told police that her boyfriend, 38-year-old Cedrick Jelks, unwittingly sat down on a loaded gun in the driver’s seat of his car early Friday morning. The gun reportedly went off, shooting the man in the groin.

Loaded and cocked: fucking idjit deserves to spend the rest of his life half-cocked.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever contemplated whether existence wouldn't, in fact, be a lot less chaotic and more pleasant with the thing gone anyway, so there's the possibility he's better off for it. My penis led me down some dark alleys (or into some dark tunnels) I would have been better off avoiding.

And there was tha urban legend about the guy who discovered that a .22 long fit exactly in place of his burned out auto fuse. He was purported to have paid for his discovery with a section of his willy (does it say something about me that I nearly capitalized "willy"?)