During the first Coach’s Corner segment of the season (now half as long! Thank you, Sportsnet), outspoken analyst and big Maple Leafs fan Don Cherry discussed the Leafs’ approach to drafting under the new regime. As always, it was hilarious, maybe even intentionally so.

And, yes, the Caps were even mentioned.

Caps mention begins at 1:05 mark.

“Let me just tell you that the LA Kings, the Stanley Cup champions, drafted seven [Canadians] — after the Swede — but they draft seven guys out of the OHL,” a yelling Cherry began. “You know how many Canadians the Maple Leafs drafted? Zero!”

“The only other team that didn’t draft a Canadian in the National Hockey League was the other loser, Washington,” he said. “[Toronto] drafted none!”

Then Cherry started rambling about how infinitely better Nick Ritchie is than William Nylander and I don’t even know. Whatever, dude.

The table below shows the percentage of Canadian players drafted by NHL teams since the 2010.

The Caps are dead last– the only club in single digits, too. Cherry is actually right. Weird.

But I have a few qualms with some other things he said.

There were three teams that didn’t draft a Canadian in 2014. (Dominic Turgeon was born in Quebec and plays in the Canadian Hockey League for the Portland Winterhawks, but he represents USA internationally.) I guess Cherry just wasn’t comfortable with calling Ken Holland and the Wings losers.

In the same segment, Cherry praised Anaheim Ducks manager Bob Murray for picking Ritchie right after the Leafs took Nylander. Interestingly, Anaheim (managed by Murray since 2008) isn’t much into Canadian kids either.

Another team that Cherry probably wouldn’t call losers are the Chicago Blackhawks. The two-time Stanley Cup champions are second only to Washington when it comes to not drafting Canadians.

On top of the list, with all the #truculence in the world, are the Calgary Flames. Stocked with Canadians, but not exactly the Stanley Cup contenders.

Cherry also said that Wendel Clark was the only “impact guy” drafted by the Leafs, ever. Here’s the list of the Leafs draft picks. Vincent Damphousse wasn’t an impact guy? Lanny McDonald? Randy Carlyle?

Finally, to Cherry’s “losers” label. Playing the Bruins on Saturday, the Caps had eight different players record points plus a goalie with a shutout. Eight were Caps draft picks, and five were not Canadian.

Why don’t the Caps draft Canadians aggressively? I can’t say that I agree with this theory, but I’ve seen people saying the Canadian Hockey League, where most draftees from north of the border play, is over-scouted and NHL teams overvalue them.

The more substantial argument to me is that the Canadian development system hasn’t provided the results to remove doubts about the continuation of Canadian dominance. In the last five years, Canadian junior teams have combined for a total of one gold medal-winning performance in U18 and U20 World Juniors. Russia, Sweden, and Finland have one each as well, while the US have an eye-popping six.

Thanks for an advice Don. You can keep the Canadians; we’ll keep our good drafting.

Ron MacLean: Let’s take a look at two tilts. [Judging] by your jacket, I know you want more violence in hockey. Tom Wilson, 19-years-old, fights with Carter Ashton…”

Don Cherry: Tommy Wilson, look at him. He’s 19-years-old. Look at ‘em go. Boy is he going. I saw him play for the Junior Canadians. There’s Carter. Let me tell you about this kid: he’s from Winnipeg. This is what got Toronto going like that.

[Wilson] is 19. Nineteen and he could have played on [Canda’s World Junior Championship team]. One of my favorites. I know he’s watching right now, his parents are watching right now. I had to say it.

Cherry then went on to talk about Erskine’s fight with Orr. He tried to explain — I write that because I have no idea what he’s actually saying — fighting’s importance in hockey.

Don Cherry: Look at the fans going nuts. These people… Look at this. Watch the guy (Alzner). We’ll show it after. You people who don’t like fights. Look at the fans going nuts.

We’re going to show you a funny thing right now. He’s… what’s the guy’s name? [looks at MacLean]

Ron MacLean: It’s Karl Alzner.

Don Cherry: Karl Alzner! Watch this here. He says, “I am not worthy.” Watch! He bows down. You think players don’t like fights? You people don’t like fights. 98% of the players like fights, the fans love it, and everybody else loves it.

Washington Capitals defenseman Steve Oleksy has been scratched for the last seven games. From the press box he watched dudes like Tyson Strachan and rookie Patrick Wey get jerseys instead of him. On Sunday, Oates gave Oleksy another chance as the Caps readied to play their second game in as many days.

Oleksy responded in a humangous big way.

The Michigan native scored his first goal of the season, also his first goal in 45 games– a span that stretched two seasons and 273 days. Both of Oleksy’s two career goals have come against the Rangers, which is also pretty neat.

Oleksy scoring like this seems a bit too coincidental for me considering last night’s Coach’s Corner. Oh, you didn’t watch? Take a look at the 2:17 mark.

“Feather the puck in, kids,” Don Cherry says (or stammers, I’m not sure which) as he shows replays of NHL defensemen scoring on change-ups. “Don’t just put your head down and blast it.”

I cannot agree more. It doesn’t matter how hard you can bomb the puck in if a goalie of Lundqvist’s caliber can see it. But if you move to a better position on the ice and accurately shoot enough pucks at 35 MPH towards a screened goalie, you’re going to score.

Oleksy’s night was great beyond the goal. Peter tells me he also allowed a team-low four unblocked shot attempts while on the ice 15.5 minutes of 5v5 play while also directing a team-high 16 shot attempts towards Lundqvist.

That’s a turnaround from the possession numbers Oleksy was putting up earlier this season. If he keeps playing like this, don’t worry, Emily, Binky will continue to roam free.

Canadian icon/rambling old guy Don Cherry is in the news again and he hasn’t had the best week. Rogers bought the NHL’s Canadian television rights and journalists are speculating that Cherry’s role on TV could be limited in the future.

But the show must go on. Saturday night, Cherry taped another Coach’s Corner segment with Ron MacLean. Cherry addressed the Rogers situation while also spending 48 seconds oohing and ahhing about how Alex Ovechkin tapes up sticks. Yes, seriously. He wants Canadian kids to tape up their sticks just like Russian-born, three-time MVP. Did we mention Russian-born? Someone please check if Don is okay.

He talks about Ovi at the 3:11 mark.

All right, kids, he’s going to show you — this is the second best hockey player in the world, maybe the third, Toews is pretty good — watch he looks at his sticks here. See that one in the red, I think that one’s for the power play.

Kids just don’t … see here. This here will save the parents money. See how he saves the end of his stick. They are $150, $300 sticks. See what he does? Very, very careful. Now if Ovechkin can do this … I see kids not with tape on their sticks. If Ovechkin can do it you can do it.

Notice how Don doesn’t really explain anything and just uses interjections to stumble through the video.

The big thing, I have a radio station on Rogers that’s been on for 25 years. Rogers never bothered me. Why should it be? It was a number one. When I had Bobby Orr, he was the number one hockey player in the world. … I just left him alone, and you know what? He had his best year ever.

…

If you’re number one, why would you fool with it? I know I’m good. I didn’t fall off a turnip truck. I know everybody watches, so all I’m saying is… take it easy, don’t try to ruin a good thing, just leave us alone, and we’ll be just as good next year.

In the new age of sports media, if you’re a superstar who has not won a championship or somewhat improved your stats from the year before, you get branded an overpaid heel and get flogged furiously by big-name network TV analysts for not trying hard enough or being too dim to adjust your game. It’s hard to recall now, but there was once a time when Ilya Bryzgalov’s fascination with space was just a personality quirk from an elite goaltender.

Let’s talk about Ovechkin. The start of the season didn’t go well for him. But then he improved greatly. Why?
Here is what happened with Ovechkin. He was taking all the criticism from the press too close to his heart. I was telling him on my show: “Ovi, the media is either at your feet, or stepping on your throat.”

It was hard for him in the beginning of the season. But coach Adam Oates supported him. He knows how difficult it can be for the stars, he had to go through that himself. In my opinion, it was Adam who helped Ovi. He turned him around.

Could it be Maria Kirilenko who helped him?
Who is that?

A great tennis player and his muse. Maybe they will get married soon. Sasha has settled down…
His game has changed, but not because of that. Ovi no longer runs around aimlessly, trying to kill someone. I told him that he needs to change his style. Everybody knew what he was going to do, and could easily read his next step. Now everything is different. Ovechkin’s new season will be much better.

Cherry found time in the interview to defend his recent comments about former Hart- and Conn Smythe-winner Evgeni Malkin, whom he called a “talented dog” and a “loser.” This time, Cherry suggested Ovechkin as an example Malkin should model himself after, which is odd.

Everyone remembers what you said about Malkin. Many people didn’t like it.
I said what I said. Geno plays when he wants to play. And that’s true. When he’s on, he’s the best Russian player I’ve ever seen. Even better than Ovechkin. You can’t take puck away from Malkin. But you’ve got to give your all. You’ve gotta play hard even when you don’t want to. Ovechkin gives it everything he’s got in every game. I don’t like when players don’t give it their best. Though everyone knows your potential, Geno.

The PuckBuddys have been memorably called the Russian mafia inside the Russian Machine. For the well-being of the operation, we’ve deliberately kept our pasts hidden. It’s been suggested that we’re former-Blackwater mercenaries, Watergate burglars or even Romney moles inside the Gingrich campaign (mission accomplished!) None of those are true, but we do admit to having relationships with some of the more subversive and extreme hockey organizations.

One such group is Capsonymous, a shadowy hive of anarchist Caps fans that operate off the grid, under the radar and over the top. Misunderstood by the mainstream hockey world, media and law enforcement, it’s been said that their methods are unsound. We judge them only by their record of mischievous achievements: the Crosby – vampire rumors, the Sabres’ implosion, Dustin Penner and Pancakegate, and getting Ryan Kesler to pose naked (again, mission accomplished.) Unofficially, on behalf of the home team, Capsonymous is responsible for DC winning the 2014 Winter Classic, convincing Ovi to skip the All Star Game, and getting Ted to blog and tweet about us.

Call them hacktivists or hocktivists; we call them allies in the greater struggle. The struggle for the Cup. Earlierthis week, they seized the PuckBuddys video channel to release a communiqué with a long list of grievances aimed at hockey’s 1%. Advocating for the 99%, Caps fans who have been wronged by the hockey establishment, their message is clear:

“We are Capsonymous. We are Legion. We Rock the Red. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us – to crash the net.”

]]>http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2012/02/01/an-unauthorized-transmission-from-capsonymous/feed/5My New Favorite Video: Alex Ovechkin Does The Robothttp://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2010/05/08/my-new-favorite-video-alex-ovechkin-does-the-robot/
http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2010/05/08/my-new-favorite-video-alex-ovechkin-does-the-robot/#commentsSat, 08 May 2010 05:13:18 +0000http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/?p=4117Two seasons ago after Alex Ovechkin scored his 50th goal of the year against the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Russian Machine celebrated by doing the “Hot Stick.” This led to a week’s worth of controversy, a Coach’s Corner by Don Cherry telling the GR8 to “get some class” & Ovechkin responding to the criticism by calling Cherry an “old guy” and proceeding to mock him by doing the robot in an ESPN interview with Rachel Nichols.

Well, if Ovechkin doing the robot wasn’t funny enough, YouTube user ElevateYourLevel did us the favor of creating the greatest Music Video of all time from the footage. He brilliantly combined Ovechkin’s greatest goals with an autotuned Rachel Nichols and an electronica beat made out of the Ovechkin phrase “don’t celebration when you score goal.” Which leads me to believe, bad grammar + house﻿ beat = win everytime. ElevateYourLevel, consider my level elevated. Everyone else, please enjoy.