Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone .
If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works.
To use all features of this page, you should consider registering.
Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process.
If you are already registered, please login here.

The yearning is back!!

Sorry if tis is in the wrong place,

Have not been on for a while been a long year so far but basically i have two beautiful children, boy girl twins, they will be 2 and a half in decemember.
I am in by no means ungrateful for the gorgeous children that i already have, considering the problematic pregnancy and premature delivery but i cannot stop this yearning desperation for another try at being a mummy.
There are so many worries to think about, are my two old enough to cope with siblings, will IVF work for us again, Its money we dont have but we both want to try again, will i get pre ecclampsia again?, I was admitted a lot before delivery how would my two cope with that? the list goes on and on and on yet......
This yearning to try again is overpowering, as strong as it was before i was a mummy to my Prince and Princess!
Before i had a lot of lasering done pre ivf to remove endo, would i have to do that again to help? would i be able to ask for that? Am i being selfish to my children wanting more?

I hope that there is some advice from you lovely ladies, I do not want to leave it too late and have regrets. I am happy with the two I have but dont feel as yet that my family is complete, do i need to go and see a speailistt about risks etc, so many questions, sorry x

You are not alone with these yearnings believe me. I also feel my family isn't complete and am ready to try again.

I don't think it's being selfish to the children you have, we all have different desires and while one person might be happy with one child, another might not be happy until they have 10. I think it's up to you and your DH and as long as you are both in agreement then that's the main thing. Best of luck.

it doesn't make you selfish to want another child. If you could get pregnant naturally would you even be thinking that??

It is a hard decision cause TX and pg is harder with previous children but also wonderful.

I think you just need to sit down and discuss with your dh and family what extra help you might need and make sure they are in board. Also try to think how long you will try for before you say enough is enough if it doesn't work.

My lo was two in august and when he talks about his baby brother in my tummy his little face lights up. We have also kept him involved with every process so he has been to scans, picked things out for baby, sorted his stuff for baby etc.

As for the medical questions I think you need to arrange an appointment with the clinic and discuss all this so you have the whole picture. You need to know how much time it will involve and how much money.

You are certainly not on your own thinking and feeling like this. My DD is about the same age as your twins (b. 17th July) and I am desperate for a little brother or sister for her. Sometimes when I read things on here I do feel selfish and a little guilty in a way because we are already so incredibly lucky to have been blessed with our beautiful girl, but it doesn't stop you wanting it again ot lessen the desire for another child. DD absolutely adores babies and children younger than her (so much so that she now doesn't want to play with her friends but just her friends baby siblings!).

I would definitely phone your consultant or clinic and have a chat with them about your next step and about your concerns of repeat complications, endo etc. I'm afraid I can't remember all of your story but you are bound to have lots of questions if you had a difficult pregnancy and labour.

As you know is the place to come for support and advice, it is as fantastic as ever. We are all here for you and you are certainly not being selfish to anyone wanting another child xxx

Hopeful - you are right, just don't feel like i am done trying yet, Don't get me wrong if we fail at IVF and can have no more I will be happy with what I have, but would like to try again!

gemmab - I doubt this would have even come up for discussion could mother nature work her magic, but seeing as we have not been taking any precautions since the babies were born seems unlikely to happen (although i still get the ''your teying too hard speech''). Have spoken about it with DF he is longing for more as much as me, family are very supportive although my mum has shown a lot of concern and is terrified to go through it all again, the way she sees it is her 'baby' was at risk to have children which i totally understand but she has four children so understands my wanting more. and who knows next time i could have a wonderful pregnancy, get to full term, have a natural delivery and be awake on delivery ??!!?? you never know!
Congratulations on your pregnancy!! and thank you for taking the time to talk to me, you sound great the way you have got LO involved and prepared for the new arrival!

Dusky7 - yes i remember you too, you have given me much support and advice, not been on in a while, had a very herrendous time this year with being evicted from our home, faced homelessness through no fault of our own.....long story but we are very settled now in a new home. all my friends in our mummy circle have just given birth to thei second child, think near on ten new babies in the group, all the natural way, makes me happy yet sad, but all these babies have set me off into a turmoil of broodiness lol!
I agree should be content and grateful for the amazing children that i have, but longing is the same as before i even had the two i have, good luck on your next journey coming up. thank you again for your advice xx