It's hard not to get in a down place about being alone this time of year. Some also feel alone in their current relationships. Hibernation and isolation can feed a depressed mood. Surround yourself with friends, even if you don't feel like it. Not only are you distracting yourself from your possibly blue thoughts, but being out with others provides you with opportunities for pleasure and joy. Feeling wary about making small talk? You can skip those parties, instead, make plans with small groups of friends. Just having a few events on your calendar to look forward will help you feel more connected to those around you.

Also, take the opportunity to explore new things to do that don't involve pricey dinners or drinks. Staying out late drinking is exhausting, and not good for your health. It tends to bring people down more than make them feel better.

2. Get to the gym or go outside to exerciseForegoing fitness only deprives you of the exercised-induced endorphins that might help boost your mood. The challenge is getting yourself there when you least feel like it.Resist any excuse not to go, or make a bargain with yourself that you only have to exercise for 10 minutes. Your heart rate will start to rise, and most likely you'll stick it out longer because you're already there. Plan a workout with a friend so you're less likely to back out. Day gravitates to group fitness classes with high-energy music to keep your spirits up.

3. Don't look at FacebookEven though you know that most people only post their happiest moments onsocial media, it's easy to lose perspective and get a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out). You can't compare yourself to others' highlight reels of their lives. Limiting your consumption of Facebook is helpful during the holidays. Reach out to your close friends via phone or text message when you feel like connecting with people. You'll get more satisfaction hearing updates from people you actually like, rather than tons of people you haven't seen in years.

4. Change your thinkingIf you feel isolated, it's important to remember you're still in charge of your life.The way to bring more abundance into your life is to give first. Find opportunities to volunteer. Meet people. Attend events. Instead of feeling left out of others' holiday plans. Think of the break as free time to do whatever you want -- even if that means spending the day in bed with your furry critters and Netflix. It's a challenging time and it's OK to feel overwhelmed and sad. Finally, it helps tell yourself that the holidays are just a season that will soon pass. Then think optimistically about the coming year and all of the good experiences waiting for you. If you struggle with serious and continuous depressive symptoms, be sure to reach out to a healthcare provider to discuss your condition.

How Seasonal Changes Can Affect Our Mental HealthThe effects of seasonal changes on our mental health can be profound. Many changes accompany the shifting seasons: the length of daylight; the intensity of the sunlight; our diet; our routine; how and where we spend our time.As late fall turns to winter, it's common for people to feel tired, unmotivated, and depleted. Anxiety can increase, too, because these changes can create a vague, unsettled feeling. Also, symptoms of depression can begin or increase. There's a specific disorder called seasonal affective disorder (SAD) that is directly tied to seasonal change.The following tips help enhance mental health through the changing seasons:

Create a new routine that helps you enjoy things despite the early darkness (reading, board games, crafts, puzzles, etc.)

Work in movement throughout the day (brief walks, stretches, climbing stairs, etc.) to keep your energy level constant

Stock up on a variety of favorite teas or coffees, depending on your personal caffeine tolerance

Be mindful of what you eat, for diet affects mental health

Identify what you love about the season, and be intentional about incorporating that into your life.

What is mindfulness?Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.

Focus on the present moment

Try not to think about anything that went on in the past or that might be coming up in future

Purposefully concentrate on what’s happening around them

Try not to be judgemental about anything they notice, or label things as ‘good’ or ‘bad’

We spend so much time thinking over stuff that has happened in the past, or worrying about things that may happen in the future, that often we actually forget to appreciate or enjoy the moment. Mindfulness is a way of bringing us back to experience life as it happens. When you’re mindful, it:

Who is mindfulness for?Mindfulness is something that everyone can develop, and it’s something that everyone can try. It’s been practiced for thousands of years, with origins in Eastern philosophy, and over the past 40 years, it has been taken up in western societies. People can increase their mindfulness in everyday life, through activities like meditation and yoga, or even by simply paying more attention during regular activities like walking, driving or something as basic as brushing your teeth.Why build mindfulness?There is a lot of evidence on the many benefits of mindfulness; it can:

Work Life BalanceFor a lot of people, the pursuit of a healthy work/life balance seems like an impossible goal. With so many of us torn between juggling heavy workloads, managing relationships and family responsibilities, and squeezing in outside interests, it's no surprise that more than one in four Americans describe themselves as “super stressed.” And that’s not balanced—or healthy.In our rush to “get it all done” at the office and at home, it’s easy to forget that as our stress levels spike, our productivity plummets. Stress can zap our concentration, make us irritable or depressed, and harm our personal and professional relationships.Over time, stress also weakens our immune systems, and makes us susceptible to a variety of ailments from colds to backaches to heart disease. The newest research shows that chronic stress can actually double our risk of having a heart attack. That statistic alone is enough to raise your blood pressure! While we all need a certain amount of stress to spur us on and help us perform at our best, the key to managing stress lies in that one magic word: balance. Not only is achieving a healthy work/life balance an attainable goal but workers and businesses alike see the rewards. When workers are balanced and happy, they are more productive, take fewer sick days, and are more likely to stay in their jobs.Here are a few practical steps we can all take to loosen the grip that stress has on us and win back the balance in our lives. Read on and reap the benefits.

At Work

Set manageable goals each day. Being able to meet priorities helps us feel a sense of accomplishment and control. The latest research shows that the more control we have over our work, the less stressed we get. So be realistic about workloads and deadlines. Make a “to do” list, and take care of important tasks first and eliminate unessential ones. Ask for help when necessary.

Be efficient with your time at work. When we procrastinate, the task often grows in our minds until it seems insurmountable. So when you face a big project at work or home, start by dividing it into smaller tasks. Complete the first one before moving on to the next. Give yourself small rewards upon each completion, whether it’s a five minute break or a walk to the coffee shop. If you feel overwhelmed by routines that seem unnecessary, tell your boss. The less time you spend doing busy work or procrastinating, the more time you can spend productively, or with friends or family.

Ask for flexibility. Flex time and telecommuting are quickly becoming established as necessities in today’s business world, and many companies are drafting work/life policies. If you ask, they might allow you to work flexible hours or from home a day a week. Research shows that employees who work flexible schedules are more productive and loyal to their employers.

Take five. Taking a break at work isn’t only acceptable, it’s often encouraged by many employers. Small breaks at work—or on any project—will help clear your head, and improve your ability to deal with stress and make good decisions when you jump back into the grind.

Tune in. Listen to your favorite music at work to foster concentration, reduce stress and anxiety, and stimulate creativity. Studies dating back more than 30 years show the benefits of music in everyday life, including lowered blood pressure. Be sure to wear headphones on the job, and then pump up the volume—and your productivity.

Communicate effectively. Be honest with colleagues or your boss when you feel you’re in a bind. Chances are, you’re not alone. But don’t just complain—suggest practical alternatives. Looking at a situation from someone else’s viewpoint can also reduce your stress. In a tense situation, either rethink your strategy or stand your ground, calmly and rationally. Make allowances for other opinions, and compromise. Retreat before you lose control, and allow time for all involved to cool off. You’ll be better equipped to handle the problem constructively later.

Give yourself a break. No one’s perfect! Allow yourself to be human and just do the best you can.​

​At Home

Unplug. The same technology that makes it so easy for workers to do their jobs flexibly can also burn us out if we use them 24/7. By all means, make yourself available—especially if you’ve earned the right to “flex” your hours—but recognize the need for personal time, too.

Divide and conquer. Make sure responsibilities at home are evenly distributed and clearly outlined—you’ll avoid confusion and problems later.

Don't over commit. Do you feel stressed when you just glance at your calendar? If you’re overscheduled with activities, learn to say,” no.” Shed the superman/superwoman urge!

Get support. Chatting with friends and family can be important to your success at home—or at work—and can even improve your health. People with stronger support systems have more aggressive immune responses to illnesses than those who lack such support.

Take advantage of your company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Many organizations offer resources through an EAP, which can save you precious time by providing guidance on issues like where to find a daycare center and caretaking for an elderly parent, as well as referrals to mental health and other services.

Stay active. Aside from its well-known physical benefits, regular exercise reduces stress, depression and anxiety, and enables people to better cope with adversity, according to researchers. It’ll also boost your immune system and keep you out of the doctor’s office. Make time in your schedule for the gym or to take a walk during lunch—and have some fun!

Treat your body right. Being in good shape physically increases your tolerance to stress and reduces sick days. Eat right, exercise and get adequate rest. Don’t rely on drugs, alcohol or cigarettes to cope with stress; they’ll only lead to more problems.

Get help if you need it. Don’t let stress stand in the way of your health and happiness. If you are persistently overwhelmed, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—taking care of yourself is a sign of strength.

The language we use in everyday life both represents and impacts how we experience our world. We attempt to capture thoughts, ideas and to describe what we see around us using words. Inevitably, things get "lost in translation". We lose information through "Generalisations", "Deletion" of information and "Cognitive Distortion". Distortion is where some aspects of ideas and experiences are given more weight and focus than others. We all do this both consciously and unconsciously, and how we do this provides pointers to our underlying beliefs about ourselves, others and the world.

​Here is a list of the Top 10 Cognitive Distortions:Which of these do you do? Check the areas below that you might like to discuss with your Life Coach.

All or Nothing Thinking: Seeing things as black-or-white, right-or-wrong with nothing in between. Essentially, if I'm not perfect then I'm a failure.I didn't finish writing that paper so it was a complete waste of time.There's no point in playing if I'm not 100% in shape.They didn't show, they’re completely unreliable!

Overgeneralization: Using words like always, never in relation to a single event or experience.I'll never get that promotionShe always does that…

Minimizing or Magnifying (Also Catastrophizing): Seeing things as dramatically more or less important than they actually are. Often creating a "catastrophe" that follows.Because my boss publicly thanked her she'll get that promotion, not me (even though I had a great performance review and just won an industry award).I forgot that email! That means my boss won't trust me again, I won't get that raise and my wife will leave me.

"Shoulds": Using "should", "need to", "must", "ought to" to motivate oneself, then feeling guilty when you don't follow through (or anger and resentment when someone else doesn't follow through).I should have got the painting done this weekend. They ought to have been more considerate of my feelings, they should know that would upset me.

Labelling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or others following a single event.I didn't stand up to my co-worker, I'm such a wimp!What an idiot, he couldn't even see that coming!

Mind-Reading: Making negative assumptions about how people see you without evidence or factual support.Your friend is preoccupied and you don't bother to find out why. You're thinking: She thinks I'm exaggerating again or He still hasn't forgiven me for telling Fred about his illness.

Fortune Telling: Making negative predictions about the future without evidence or factual supportI won't be able to sell my house and I'll be stuck here (even though housing market is good).No-one will understand. I won't be invited back again (even though they are supportive friends).

Discounting the Positive: Not acknowledging the positive. Saying anyone could have done it or insisting that your positive actions, qualities or achievements don't count… That doesn't count, anyone could have done it. I've only cut back from smoking 40 cigarettes a day to 10. It doesn't count because I've not fully given up yet.

Blame & Personalization: Blaming yourself when you weren't entirely responsible or blaming other people and denying your role in the situationIf only I was younger, I would have got the job If only I hadn't said that, they wouldn't have…If only she hadn't yelled at me, I wouldn't have been angry and wouldn't have had that car accident.

Emotional Reasoning: I feel, therefore I am. Assuming that a feeling is true - without digging deeper to see if this is accurate.I feel such an idiot (it must be true).I feel guilty (I must have done something wrong).I feel really bad for yelling at my partner, I must be really selfish and inconsiderate.

Mental Filter: Allowing (dwelling on) one negative detail or fact to spoil our enjoyment, happiness, hope etc.You have a great evening and dinner at a restaurant with friends, but your chicken was undercooked and that spoiled the whole evening.

Have you ever looked at an object on a wall long enough and notice that everything surrounding it starts to disappear? This is a common experience that not only works with phisical objects buth with emotional states as well. When you become overly steeped in your problems or negativity, you easily start to lose focus on the things are NOT BROKEN, which is the majority of your life. Make sure to take some time away from your issues. This will allow you to fill up up your tank and approach your goals more easily and effectively later.

The only way to find new things in your life is to first be lost. Let yourself go to unfamiliar places and you will find new paths. This takes vulnerability and guts, but in the end you will have more choices.

The scariest part of a roller coaster ride is being next in line. It is at that very moment that you can still walk away. Similar to counseling, the scariest part is making the call and coming in for the first time. Once you have made the commitment to begin the process, it not only gets easier but can also become enjoyable. Always remember that everything you do today was unfamiliar and scary at one time before.​

Most people call for counseling when they are feeling stuck. Things are neither moving in a positive or negative direction. It is at this very moment that 2 things must take place. You must be willing to let go of the thing that is keeping you stuck and at the same time put some faith into something completely unfamiliar. I like to use the metaphor of Tarzan. He swings in the jungle from vine to vine and at any given moment he is holding a vine in one hand that supported him and he trusted, while in the other hand, he is holding a vine he never held before and is unfamiliar with. The only way for him to continue his journey forwards is to let go of the one that got him to that place and trust that something he never held before will support him in his journey. People are tremendous creates of habit, both good and bad ones. Change will only come from letting go of habits that you have become experts at and allowing yourself to do things differently and unfamiliar. In essence, you must trust yourself and know that for change to take place, you cannot be an expert in something you never experienced before. You must also be willing to put shame and guilt aside as the people who taught you these old behaviors are either people you loved or were a part of your upbringing. Change can always happen, if you let it.

Over the past 12 months you have had time to think and feel quite a bit. This is the year to take some chances and listen to the answers you already have. This is not a year of fear based behavior. It is a year for you to trust yourself and take those leaps of faith that you already know you want/need to take.