Gratitude... goes beyond the "mine" and "thine" and claims the truth that all of life is a pure gift. In the past I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to the awareness of gifts received, but now I realize that gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.
-Henri J. M. Nouwen

Monday, March 30, 2009

This song has been on my my lips for so many reasons these days. I spent the weekend in a town in Virginia where I used to live, a place where I spent the most painful and sin filled years of my life. As I drove the streets of Harrisonburg I saw God's grace to me on every corner and this anthem rang louder and louder in my heart. Is there someone you are praying for tonight that seems just too far gone for God to reach them? He is mighty to save!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Hebrew word for "broken" in this verse is "shavar" meaning "to burst, break into pieces, wreck, crush, smash; to rend, tear in pieces (like a wild beast) . . ." My heart is broken today. I found out news about someone I have loved my entire life. The repercussions of choices she has made will ripple through many lives in the coming days, weeks, months and years. More hearts and lives will be broken. I have painfully moved in the last 24 hours from anger and any personal hurt to a deep wounded cry to my God to save a soul that is clearly lost and certainly deceived. I am convicted because I have not spoken the truth to her in the past months. In many ways I have turned a blind eye to blatant sin because I am tired and overworked and busy with my life and deep down afraid of losing affection or what little relationship we have. What I believe is God's Word has the power to save and change lives and keep one from sin and destruction and still I held back from speaking absolutes. This failure on my part to share the Gospel is also heartbreaking.

In one of my favorite passages in the Bible the prophet Isaiah says "This sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant. It will break into pieces like pottery." Isaiah 30:13-14 So, where do we go when our hearts are smashed into a million pieces? Where do I point someone I love when their selfish choices collapse around them? Isaiah follows in verse 15 with the beautiful answer for all of life's brokenness, "In returning (or repentance) and rest is your salvation." Christ was sent to heal the brokenhearted. Strong's Dictionary has a very visual definition to the word "bind up" as " to compress, . . . to stop." God defines a broken heart as one that is hemorrhaging. Beth Moore says in her Bible study, Breaking Free, "The idea of compressing the hemorrhaging heart is very much like the practice of applying pressure to a badly bleeding wound. What a wonderful picture of Christ! A crushing hurt comes to our heart and the sympathizing, scarred hand of Christ presses the wound; and just for a moment, the pain seems to intensify . . . but finally the bleeding stops. Oh my friend, are you beginning to see the intimate activity of Christ when we're devastated?"

Thank You, God, for the healing hand of my Savior on life's deepest wounds. Give me faith to believe You can bind up even this situation and the hearts and lives involved. Please give strength and grace in the coming days and, God, please show Your saving love to each soul and bring peace.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spring is a promisein the closed fistof a long winter. Allwe have is a rawslant of light at a lowangle, a rising riverof wind, and an icy rainthat drowns out greenin a tide of mud. It isthe daily postponementthat disillusions.(Once again the performancehas been canceled bythe management.) We liveon legends of oldsprings. Each eveningbrings only remotepossibilities ofrenewal: "Maybe tomorrow." But the evening and the morningare the umpteenth dayand the God of sunlitEden still lookson the weatherand calls it good.

It's no secret I love Luci Shaw's poetry. After a weekend of warm temperatures and open windows we are back to a cold rain today and this poem reminds me it is all good.

I spent much of the weekend holding up my dear Angie in prayer as she was back in the hospital with an infection. I wrestled with God over His purpose in allowing more trial. I prayed He would help Angie to see the "raw slant of light" in the midst of another cold rain. I prayed she would be able to hold onto the promises of her God, our God, that renewal is coming and even this is working for good. As I pray truth I struggle with my own doubt. Is spring really coming?

My girls

Books I'm reading or reading again and again

Quotes that inspire me

“God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love. Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you, “Do you believe there is a God?” you may find yourself answering, “No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.” ~Ernest Boyer, Jr.

"there is no use trying," said alice... ..."one can't believe impossible things." "i dare say you haven't had much practice," said the queen. "when I was your age, i always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes i've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony." William Henry Channing

"PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." Unknown

Lines from Jack Kerouac’s On the Road: “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”