Trojan Ultra Fail Ecstasy

Save your money and stay away from these, because a night using the Ecstasy condoms will only result in sad faces and a trip to the store for a pack of Plan B the next morning. Trojan really didn't think things through with these, and I doubt they'll bring anyone any real pleasure. Even if you do think they feel good, they'll break. If they aren't breaking, they're sliding off. Not to mention, these are way too expensive for a condom that doesn't even do its job.

Published:
September 23, 2012

Pros:

The packaging is bright

Cons:

they breakthey're uncomfortablethey're expensive as hell

Rating by reviewer:

1

extremely useful review

You have to give it to them- the workers at Trojan try, and usually it seems as though their efforts are worth it. But with the Ecstasy line, they definitely produced the biggest flop Condom History has ever seen. These condoms are akin to the over priced garbage bags that promise no rips, no drips, but deliver ONLY that. They are the biggest disappointment I've seen in the condom game yet. And to me, the condom game ISN'T something you gamble in- we need our birth control to actually do it's job, not give up halfway through!

So you may be thinking, what is it about these condoms that made Trojan really embarrass themselves when they put these out for purchase? Well, I'll tell you one thing- it wasn't the marketing. The packaging stands out probably more than any condom I've ever seen in my life. The box is a bright, eye-catching yellow orange, or the color of your pee when you have a UTI- whichever image sticks in your head better. The name of the condoms themselves, Ecstasy, is printed in bold, silver-foil, all-capital letters on the front. The only thing rivaling the name of the condom is the actual brand's name- Trojan really wanted to show off the fact that they single-handedly produced THE worst condom in the world with this one, I guess, because "Trojan" is so big on the package that it's practically all you can see!

The box also proclaims that these condoms feature "ultra-smooth lubricant", but really they feel like the most unlubricated, dried out pieces of latex stuffed into the biggest condom wrappers in the world. Really. I didn't even notice the lube. That may not be the actual lube's fault, however, so much as it is the ridiculously huge condom. Yes, these condoms are huge. Why? I don't know. It's supposed to provide some sort of awesome sensation, for the wearer or the person unfortunate enough to take these inside of them. They are not pleasant. Maybe for the person wearing them? I dunno, I just don't see it. They really are like garbage bags. They sag, they fold over INSIDE OF YOU. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? And as for ultra-ribbed, well, I don't think I have to say anything about that. I've yet to feel sensation from a condom claiming to be anything special. They always feel the same. Except, of course, in the cases where they have some crazy lube on them that makes you vagina feel like it's on fire, or in the case of these, where it feels like you literally cut a plastic bag into pieces, covered a dick with it, and then snapped a rubber band around it to hold it in place.

Now, if you're still somehow willing to try these out, keep in mind that they really are ribbed slightly, they do feature some sort of lubrication, and they are made out of what Trojan claims to be "premium" latex that is "electronically tested to help insure reliability"- just promise me you won't believe that last bit, because there's no way ANYONE on earth tested these out before putting them onto shelves. They break like nobody's business! It'll take all ten in the box just to get through one session safely!

Experience

In my experience, these condoms are 100% unreliable. Not to mention, they claim it feels "as though nothing is there", but as we all know, you can definitely tell something is there, and with these- it's hard not to, because the condoms are moving all over and making crinkling noises the entire time. Like a plastic bag. I'm kind of convinced they made these from WalMart bags. Not to mention, these things are $15 for a pack of 10. A pack of 10 that will last one night because you'll have to keep replacing them, unless you just give up on them and use a different brand which will save you lots of time, lots of uncomfortable feelings in both partner's nether regions, AND pregnancy scares.

Follow-up commentaryI still don't like it2 months after original review

I would still never ever recommend these to anyone, ever. They're horrible and an abomination to safe sex. For the price of these worthless condoms, you could get a value pack of condoms that don't break or slip during use.

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