Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Story that just keeps On Giving - while the Other Shoe Drops!

So I got thee Call Friday afternoon from ‘CARPETS informing me that ‘Ol ‘R was gonna be on the Tom & Bob, NO! Scratch that, thee Mike & Ike Show; Err Query & Schultz Show which I’d never heard of before at the top of the 5’O-clock hour Indy time, which he claimed was 2PM Pacific time; Hya!

Rumour has I-T ‘Dat they’re gonna talk ‘bout Tony George’s attempt to purchase IndyCarz; ‘LOL! Is that supposed to be uh new rumour I retorted.

And although I’ve been loathe to scribble ANYTHING ‘bout I-T! I don’t know ‘bout Y’all but I cannot even begin to explain how tired, bored & ANNOYED! I’m getting over this extremely MORONIC, RIDICULOUS & INSANE STUPIDITYover thy possibility of ‘lil Napoleon; YIKES! Haven’t used that ‘Juan in a zillion years; what I used to call “Ronnie” (TG) George back in duh era of Thee Split; YIKES!

As really; ‘TG & Drinkin' buddy Zackary Brown are gonna buy IndyCar, along with Kevin “Smiley Face” Kalkoven? What utter and completeNONSENSE!I mean, who in thee HELL is the Golden Goose laying this egg? Err TURD! As will somebody break out thy plunger and shove it down the ‘CRAPPER where I-T belongs; as it seems like a dead Goldfish that simply WON’T GO AWAY NO matter how many timesyou flush the toilet...

And I really wonder why Mother Mary let her boy Anton back onto the IMS Board for? As one good thingy I've heard Kevin Lee say lately is; there's those of us who'll say Tony had 15-years to run the IRL & look what he did! Basically outspent CART/Chump Carz, eh? As his only saving grace is IMS, as I’d guess it’d be akin to some rival Taxi Cab series trying to crush the 800lb Gorillia without owning Day-Toner, right? And let’s NOT forget what a stellar job Messer Kalkoven

So why in thee HELL! Would Hulman & Co wanna go down this road again? I mean how’s it worked out for the France’s owning NASCAR instead of Outsourcing it to another party? As I DON'T think this is the type of publicity we need! As I never thought I'd say this in a million years; BUTT! Why doesn’t Mr. Jeffery “the Walrus” Belskus just come out publicly and totally debunk this whole IDIOTIC scheme by hosting a press conference categorily stating the Indy Car Series is still NOT for sale and we’ve given Randy "The CandyMann" Bernard a contract extension... So go PISS in a lake ‘TG! (My sediments, NOT Mr. Belskus’s!)

Then there was an awkward pause by thee ‘Riddler, as Millergave him his full opinion upon the IMS Radio Networks Front man & ‘Somme-thun ‘bout Sunday School Choirs; CRIKEYS!

And although I’m NOT a fan of Query’s, he did at least ask one good questione; inquiring what’s going on with the SPEED/FOX SPORTS ARSE-simulation?

As robin began bantering on ‘bout this, I thought I heard him mumble something 'bout NBC getting the F1 broadcasts? SHEISA! As I’d gotten my first whiff of ‘Somme-thun STINKY going on with duh FOX in the Hen-house when hearing about the MLB contract renegotiations; so I skedaddled over to thee Dean ‘O Indy Car Bloggers after Miller’s interview - where I found more substance upon the story over at the “DAWG’s chalet, where Uncle Pressdog scribbled ‘bout NBCSN in the running for the Formula 1 broadcast rights in his Fireside Chat, as thank goodness I wasn’t consuming any beverages, which might have been spewed! Read I-There,as ‘Ol Billy would say...

Thus I fired off an email to Miller asking: Who can we write to explain toNOT FUCK UP SPEED!

As the ONLY reason I've continued paying comca$t an exorbitant amount of money yearly is for the ability to have access to SPEED & NBCSN and SIGH! ABC in order to watch motor racing, as I do NOT give a flying F%%K 'bout Stick 'N Ball sports! I know, call me CRAZY, but that’s just how I roll here at No Fenders, really gotta S-T-O-P this ‘Dawgstah style, and what’s ALL this mumbo jumbo over Gangsta; Err Gang man style - Varsha’s clever tie-in to the Korean GP, which surely the next episode of F1 Debrief will feature ‘Wee Willie Buxom doing?

Thus in themiddle of the night, I read the definitive answer upon The Buxton Blog, where Mr. Buxton gave me the BAD news in indelible print; Err type written characters...

And then Varsha confirmed it too Friday night during the Korean GP ‘Qualie show, albeit I taped it instead of staying up late, or so I thought and hence watched it & heard the news Saturday morning...

Yet it seems like apparently the ONLY thingy that another O-L-D White man named “Rubarb Murdick” truly cares about is his pocketbook & trying to increase his income before getting to duh ‘Purly gates... Uhm, note to Murdick, I DON’T believe Yuhs can take I-T with Yuhs!

Yet apparently ‘OlRupert MurdochAIN’T even remotely concerned over alienating ALL of us racing fans! As long as Y’all gotz yours ‘RASSCAR, right? While I’ve heard speculation about moving portions of the SPEED programming onto FUEL TV; CRAP! Uh, gee Wally, guess what? FUEL TV isn't available in Seattle, as I fear having to go thru the whole EXCRUCIATING PAIN IN THEE ARSE scenario I experienced just in order to get SPEED all those years ago!

And it’s kinda funny that SPEED's pushin’ speed2-dot-com right now as the FUTURE 'O Motorsports... Uhm? Where'd it go; Chirp Chirp!

Meanwhile, I DON’T think NBC Sports Network will ever pull its ratings UP by continuing to run the Indy Cars 'qualie show in its current abbreviated cut & paste variety show format vs. the good 'Ol dazes of SPEED's truly LIVE qualifying shows w/Bob Varsha; Yuhs know when they aired the whole Freaking ‘Qualie session! Which may be one way to get around the STUPIDITY of giving away Network Broadcast rights for 10yrs!

And speakin’ of Bob Varsha, where will he go? As I truly look forward to every single minute of Varsha, ‘Hobbo & Professor Matchett’s SUPERB F1 Practice, Qualifying & Race calls! Not to mention F1 Debrief and GP2...

I also enjoy the soothing tones of Leigh Diffey, Calvin Fish & Dorsey Schroder who I think are another superb trio of broadcasters - not to mention the respective Pit Reporters Brian Till, Chris Neville & Justin Bell. As where in thee HELL will I go for my 24 Heurs du Mans fix? As I’m still not overly enamoured by the Grand Am’s Ugly Duckling Daytona Prototypes, which makes watching it sometimes hard to follow, but was hoping the new merged series would end up on SPEED, with the aforementioned trio calling I-T!

And then there’s Moto GP which I try watching wheneverpossible and enjoy Greg Kramer’s narrative; “Hi All;” not to mention my other most enjoyable tag-team ‘BoothBoyz; NO! NOT Mikey “Aw Shucks” Waltrip and the PickemUp gang but Jonathan Green & Steve Martin calling the World Superbikes action...

And this is even before we get to the speed.com website, which I utilize as Juan ‘O my bastions of breaking motorsports news, as I especially enjoy Robin Miller’s rantings and Marshall Pruett’s insights, along with John Davies Sports Cars expertise. And would really like to figure out how to find Steve Matchett and Peter Windsor’s respective columns on the F1 Tab, but cannot see the FRILLIN’ colour scheme there...

And lastly, but certainly NOT least of all, where will I go to listen to Ye ‘Ol Windbag huff ‘N puff weekly upon Wind Tunnel? As I’ve been a H-U-G-E FAN of Dave Despain’s ever since theTV show started a zillion years ago; you know when the bulk of the show was him taking phone calls... And I’ve even somewhat gotten accustomed to Double A’s (Adam Alexander) ‘twang on Speed Centre. Hey! I go there to get the latest Robin Miller scoop upon the Indy Cars. Not to mention all of the wonderful people behind the scenes that make ALL of this happen!

Thus, I sincerely hope that whatever happens, I’ll still be able to get FULL ACCESS to A-L-L of these programs, as I surely will NOT be tunin’ into “Fox Sports-1” to watch ANY Flippin baseball...