Printers be trifling!!!1!

Ugh, internet. I was totally going to write about something cool but Mom asked me to print something out and the printer is having a hissy fit and now my hands look like I got into a turf war with a toddler holding an uncapped marker in Peaceful Sky Dove Blue or whatever. So we are going to talk about printers.

I know I’m a yoga teacher and I’m not supposed to get irrationally upset about random things, but I’m about to have a breakdown right now. I can’t even process how upset I get staring at the blinky little lights that flash at me whenever I open the machine and gaze into the innards of the printer. Like, COME ON, CANONiP6700D. I’m printing in black and white and the “Photo Cyan” is out of ink and you can’t handle it? GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, CANONiP6700D IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME. MORE LIKE CANAN8423I’MANIDIOTWHOCAN’TPERFORMUNDERPRESSURE.

Honestly, why do I need two different types of cyan? Like, real talk. I know it’s like yada ya photorealistic bleep bloop something or other, but COME ON. The other colors in there have their heads in the game, Cyan, what’s your deal?

Wait, just kidding. Magenta, girl, get it together. The ink situation in here is a hot mess.

Ugh, and then of course I put the wrong Cyan cartridge in there and the printer’s just blinking at me and the screen’s flashing this message like YOU HAVE THE SAME TWO TYPES OF CYAN IN THERE NOW, IDIOT.

SHUT UP PRINTER YOU DON’T KNOW ME.

So then I went upstairs and tried to use Dad’s printer and the software wouldn’t install on my laptop so I had a mental breakdown moment and Dad was just staring at me like whut and I was all GAHHHH all the printers in the house be trifling, D!!!