Can any Arrse members, who are serving rozzers, tell me whether a sense of humour or anything approaching common sense is forbidden within the ranks of the Metropolitan Police? Or is being a miserable, self-serving cnut a prerequisite qualification before you can get into Hendon

Yesterday, a mate, who's co-workers had placed a huge, black, rubber dildo at the top of the windscreen on his van for a laugh, was stopped by a police patrol car and told to remove it. He refused asking what he was doing wrong. The plod told him that he found it offensive and that he may well be offending other members of the public. When matey replied that you can see the same huge, black, rubber dildos openly on sale in the windows at any Ann Summers shop and he hadn't heard of many of them being raided lately, Plod becomes agitated. Matey then starts up the engine and tells Plod that it was nice to talk to him but he really had better things to do.

Plod then tells matey to turn off the engine, that he was being arrested for a Breach of the Peace, and reads him his rights.

Result? A whole day off work while matey is fingerprinted, DNA-tested and shoved in a police cell. He is also facing a possible criminal record.

What exactly has the miserable plod cnut achieved? Is London a safer place?

Trouble is that the PC went for 'Breach of the Peace' or possibly 'Behavior likely to cause a Breach of the Peace', basically the Section 69 of Public Order offences.

Twenty odd years ago this was part of a comedy sadly it is now our reality:

"Come in, shut the door."
"Yes, sir."
"Now then, Savage, I want to talk td you about some charges that you've been bringing lately. I think that perhaps you're being a little
over-zealous."
"Which charges did you mean then, sir?"
"Well, for instance this one: 'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.' Savage, maybe you're not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing, neither is 'smelling of foreign food' an offence."
"Are you sure, sir?"
"Also, there's no law against 'Urinating in a public convenience or 'Coughing without due care and attention."'
"If you say so, sir..."
"Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn't they teach you anything at training school?"
"Erm, I'm sorry, sir..."
"Some of these cases are just plain stupid: 'Looking at me in a funny way' - Is this some kind of joke, Savage?"
"No, sir."
"And we have some more here: 'Walking on the cracks in the pavement,' 'Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness,' and 'Walking around with an offensive wife.' In short, Savage, in the space of one month you have brought one hundred and seventeen ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges."
"Yes, sir."
"Against the same man, Savage."
"Yes, sir."
"A Mr Winston Kodogo, of 55, Mercer Road."
"Yes, sir."
"Sit down, Savage."
"Yes, sir."
"Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?"
"He's a villain, sir."
"A villain..."
"And a jail-bird, sir."
"I know he's a jail-bird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! We're holding him on a charge of 'Possession of curly black hair and thick lips."'
"Well - well, there you are, sir."
"You arrested him, Savage!"
"Thank you, sir."
"Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Kodogo is a coloured gentleman?"
"Well, I can't say I've ever noticed, sir."
"Stand up, Savage! - Savage, you're a bigot. It's officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love to jump on an instance like this, and the reputation of the force can be permanently tarnished. Your whole time on duty is dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification from going around stirring up trouble?"
"Yes, sir."
"There's no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I'm ss transferring you to the S.PG. -"
"Thank you very much, sir."
"- Now get out!"

BoP involves a threat of immenience and (usually) violence, under coomon law rather than statute.

Caselaw also indicates one cannot cause a BoP because someone reacts to your actions (from a stated case where some preacher thundered against the sin of sodomy in Brighton...........did he fail to recce the audience or what! The godbotherer came in for BoP, and the case got dismissed as he did not threaten to occassion a BoP; but others might in their response to his eloquence and hellfire).

also i would be amazed if this was charged rather than hoofed out by the custody sgt; as BoP doesn't make it to court; other than in rare circumstances to be bound over by the magistrates.

the reason they arrested him for a breach of the peace was because there was nothing else to do him for !!

Was it a dangerous item ? the dido that is.

Maybe your mate did play up a bit, but most normal PC's would make a little joke about it and let you know SOMEONE MAY find it offensive.

The way its ended up is a passer by will see the Police stopped a car for having a offensive object on it and ended up causing a situation which ended with the dildo still there and someone being arrested !!!

If the Police hadn't stopped your mate there wouldn't of been a situation.

The PC must have needed more ticks in the box for that months arrest figures.

the reason they arrested him for a breach of the peace was because there was nothing else to do him for !!

Was it a dangerous item ? the dido that is.

Maybe your mate did play up a bit, but most normal PC's would make a little joke about it and let you know SOMEONE MAY find it offensive.

The way its ended up is a passer by will see the Police stopped a car for having a offensive object on it and ended up causing a situation which ended with the dildo still there and someone being arrested !!!

If the Police hadn't stopped your mate there wouldn't of been a situation.

The PC must have needed more ticks in the box for that months arrest figures.

Click to expand...

Is it an offence or even worthy of mention that someone may find something offensive?

If that is true then there are a couple of things that I want removing from the streets as I might be offended by them.

All politicians for a start, fat birds in tight trousers, overt queers, drunken yobbos, in fact the list is endless. Wonder if plod can be convinced to remove or warn all that lot?

W. Yorks. Police would have beaten him senseless with it a la Lock, Stock, and two smoking barrels. Then prosecuted him for looking a bit funny and driving a white van! Send his court papers to the wrong address and then have him rearrested for failing to appear!...Grumble...harrumph...Arrse Bandits!

My two siblings are coppers and sheeit like this makes their blood boil too. But as mentioned have we heard the whole story?