Welcome back loyal Chair Shotters. While my Black History Month series rolls on, the WWE rolled out the Elimination Chamber PPV, and I’m just a few short minutes removed from the show, so it’s time to roll out my thoughts on a decent, but not spectacular PPV with a Main Event that left me cold. But more on that later, let’s get to it.

Tensai and Brodus Clay defeat Team Rhodes Scholars

Why It’s Good
Well I’ll be completely honest with you, I didn’t see the match. I was on the road taking my kids back to their mother, so for me, that was the good part. I guess you could say that giving Tensai something to do is good, but other than that, I got nothin’

Why It’s Bad
Having two great athletes like Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow job out on a pre-show to the dancing buffoons is utterly ridiculous. Clay and Tensai, no matter what the WWE does, will be nothing more than a comedy team. Rhodes and Sandow both seem to be in a major de-push, which I don’t understand one bit. They are both talented in-ring workers with huge upsides. Having them lose to the Hip Hop Haiku is ludicrous.

Alberto Del Rio defeats Big Show by submission to retain the World Championship

Why It’s Good
Del Rio really seems to have embraced being a face. While he’s still not lighting up the ratings, I would no longer consider him a Black Hole of Charisma. The huge plus to this match though, is that this feud is luckily over. The feud was missing something, and I blame that on the Big Show’s inability to really draw any heat from the fans. They really just don’t care.

Why It’s Bad
That ending! Overall, the match was fairly decent, but still nothing to write home about. However it all came crashing down in the closing sequence as Del Rio did his best Alex Rodriguez impersonation by whiffing on the enziguri to the bucket that Big Show was holding. He had to hit the move again, completely throwing off the timing of the end of the match. I also have a very hard time believing that Big Show would submit to the cross arm-breaker, but having him do so helped cement the submission hold as a legitimate threat.

Antonio Cesaro defeats The Miz by DQ

Why It’s Good
Cesaro continues to be in beast mode, putting on some of the best matches in the WWE at the current time. His strength is extraordinary, and he has a great ring psychology to him. To Miz’s credit as well, he put on a pretty decent match. What impressed me the most was that for the majority of the match, Miz worked right handed, selling the left side injury. A lot of wrestlers would not do that as successfully as he did. While it fell apart towards the end, I feel this was one of Miz’s better matches in recent months.

Why It’s Bad
For the second straight match, that ending! There was nothing to be lost by having Cesaro pin Miz cleanly. Miz is not in a position where he needs to be protected in that manner, and having Cesaro win by DQ in a rather odd ending sequence left the end of the match feeling kind of flat. Cesaro didn’t hit his signature moves we’ve come to expect, and overall I thought he came out looking somewhat weaker than he did going into the match.

Jack Swagger win the Elimination Chamber

Why It’s Good
The match itself was solid, with each of the six men having their time to shine. Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho put on a very entertaining opening segment, and honestly I could take another 30 minutes of those two in the ring together. Mark Henry came back to destroy people left and right before ultimately succumbing to Randy Orton’s RKO. As Mark left the ring, he was receiving cheers from the fans in the arena, which was nice to hear. The end came quickly, as after Orton pinned Jericho with the RKO he was rolled up out of nowhere by Swagger. This now sets up Swagger and Colter’s “We the People” movement against the “illegal alien” menace of Alberto Del Rio. This should set up some interesting, and probably controversial promos in the upcoming weeks.

Why It’s Bad
Swagger isn’t ready for this push. He just came back from several months off, and while he seems to have more intensity then I’ve ever seen from him, there’s no way he should be in this position this fast. The World Championship match will probably curtain jerk Wrestlemania once again, and I don’t see Swagger coming out with the win in this match. While I agree that he’s improved in the ring, it’s just too much too soon for me. What we’ll hopefully see is a Ziggler MITB cash in and a new World Heavyweight Champion.

The Shield defeat Ryback, Sheamus and Cena

Why It’s Good
This was all about The Shield. Being in the ring with three such personalities as Cena, Ryback and Sheamus you’d almost expect The Shield to get lost in the star power of the other side. However quite the opposite happened in my opinion. From bell to bell, Rollins, Ambrose, and Reigns were the stars of that match. They dominated the action, they dominated the spotlight, and they came away with another victory in only their second official match in the WWE. They did such a good job in that match, that even if they did lose, they wouldn’t have been hurt all that much. Big props for the stars of the evening, The Shield.

Why It’s Bad

I don’t really have a lot to say here. The match was thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish. Some might say it was sloppy, but that’s how The Shield attacks. They keep their opponents off guard with their unorthodox techniques. So for the first time in this review, I don’t have a bad, and that’s good.

Dolph Ziggler pins Kofi Kingston

Why It’s Good
Probably the only thing good about this match was that Ziggler got some PPV ring time. In recent weeks he’s kind of been lost in the shuffle, and with his talent and presence that’s problematic. We’ve seen this match quite a few times, and as expected Ziggler picks up the victory. Anything other than that would have been stupid.

Why It’s Bad
There was no need for this match on the PPV. I don’t know if the show was running short or what, but it made absolutely no sense for the card. This was nothing more than a Raw match, right down to the 5 minute length. And I’ve just got to ask, who in the blue Hell did Kofi Kingston piss off. I haven’t seen somebody go down this fast since Lindsay Lohan needed to stay out of prison. It’s beyond a de-push at this point. It’s more like a push out the door.

Kaitlyn defeats Tamina with the 47th spear of the evening

Why It’s Good
I had time to microwave a burrito and grab a beer. Oh yeah, and Kaitlyn’s got a decent rack.

Why It’s Bad
Aren’t all the Divas matches bad? This division is so embarrassing at this point that they should pull a move from Aliens and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

The Rock retains the WWE Championship pinning CM Punk

Why It’s Good
Rock and Punk certainly seem to have good chemistry in the ring, maybe even a little mutual dislike there too. The match was passable, that’s about it. There were a few nice segments, like the Rock Bottom on the announce table (that failed to break), and Rock’s selling of Punk’s GTS, but overall this one left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Why It’s Bad
For a rematch that had been hyped for weeks, overall the match was a Miss for me. In both matches now, we’ve had completely overbooked endings resulting in Rock’s victory. At Royal Rumble we had a match restarted after Punk’s victory with the help of The Shield. At the Chamber, we have multiple referee injuries, several non-pinfalls, and a predictable People’s Elbow for a Rock victory. Punk came out of that match looking weak, looking like someone that isn’t going to be back in the WWE Title hunt anytime soon. Now we’re left with Rock/Cena “Twice in a Lifetime”, in a match that Cena should win, as The Rock will be leaving the WWE shortly after Wrestlemania to film another movie.

Overall, if I had to grade the PPV, I’d give The Shield match an A, and the rest of the evening a C+. Now we’re headed to Wrestlemania, and things should start heating up from here on out.