Strange appearance on the Emmy’s notwithstanding, this summer Weird Al had the first number one comedy album on the charts since 1963. This is well deserved. He managed to take a song I really dislike and make it into a thing of beauty. If you haven’t seen the video for WORD CRIMES yet, you must. It is hilarious and unfortunately, too true.

Okay, so I have not had time to post in forever, but as Ray Romano famously said: “Sometimes material writes itself…”

Last night ABC news had a story about the new iphone 6. Apparently, it is too big for some owners pockets because when it was removed from the pocket, it had bended. BENDED? is that like SWIMMED? Are the writers at ABC now creating new words for new Apple products or are they, alas, that ignorant? And really, I know the reporters have to read the teleprompter quickly, but did none of them realize “bended” is NOT a Word? BENT people, BENT!

So the other day, I started watching “Whitney.” This show airs at 8PM on NBC and is supposed to be a new “hit” Anyway, the whole show was about Masturbating! It was not very funny and all I could think was: who is watching this at 8PM?

Then there was “Are You There Chelsea?” Also on NBC at 8:30PM. I saw about 5 minutes in which the heroine spoke about how she couldn’t be with the bartender at her job because they both wanted to be on top. I couldn’t even finish watching the show. NOT FUNNY!!!

Also, rather disturbing that these shows feel that sexual acts are inherently funny and suitable to be aired at such an early time. Is every writer in Hollywood on drugs, or do they really think that sex is the only thing that people find funny?

Now, recently “Saturday Night Live” re-aired one of their classic Christmas skits with Alec Baldwin” “Delicious Dish” aka “Schweddy Balls.” This entire parody of NPR is laden with sexual innuendo, but only for an older audience. A child would not really understand that everything said had a double meaning. Dopey, yet funny and also safe to air at 8PM. I would also like to point out that it is from 1998!

What’s wrong with this? “Never having any children, her affairs were…” NBC News.

Okay, I know that children can be the result of an affair, but I didn’t know affairs themselves were capable of live birth.

Memo to C. Camp: The single form of candelabra is candelabrum, your hero could not have picked up a “single candelabra.” That is like saying “He ate his breakfast with a single forks.” A black ball gown? Really? Was your heroine in secret mourning?

Really Ms. Long: The entire house party ate breakfast every morning in the kitchen? First of all, nineteenth century kitchens were not used for meals, not even by the staff. There would not have been room. Second of all, half of those aristocrats barely knew where their kitchens were. They would have eaten in the breakfast room or even dining room.

“Sniffing is not aloud!” Did you actually mean “allowed” perhaps? Or is it possible that Ian really meant that sniffing is silent?

“I am just hearing about this now. I want to ring Simon’s neck!” Really, he wants to put a ring on someone’s neck? Is that a new Hollywood fad? Is it just possible that he wanted to wring Simon’s neck?

Really, Newsday? Editing by Spellcheck? Or is it that your reporter really didn’t know the difference? I hope not, print media has enough problems without adding bad spelling to the list.

NBC News: “Now that he’s no longer facing criminal charges, Alvarez’s attorney plans to file…” His attorney was facing criminal charges? If I was Alvarez, I’d find a new one.

E.T.: “Now separated, the audience will see them again…” If they’re separated, how are they one audience?

E.T. (again) : “From performing on stage to playing field hockey, the magazine shows…” Wow, that’s some versatile magazine; mine tend to just stay on the table with their friends. I wonder if the subscribers have to pay more for all that action?

Extra: “With a $2.2M price slash, Nic Cage…” Gee, Nic Cage was marked down? What was his original price?

From Wikipedia: “Bull”, meaning nonsense, dates from the 17th century[1], while the term “bullshit” has been used as early as 1915 in American slang,[2] and came into popular usage only during World War II. The word “bull” itself may have derived from the Old Frenchboul meaning “fraud.

Which means, AB, not a term used in 1819. And a hero named Carter. Really???? Why not “Phoenix” ? At least people in the 19th century would have been familiar with what a phoenix was. To them, calling someone “Carter” would probably be like naming someone “Elevator” today.