Why I’m Putting Myself First

Earlier this week I wrote about the anxiety I was feeling and how much it had been kicking my butt and overwhelming my brain. This week I made it a goal to focus on myself and my goals, after all it is a new month and for me that always presents itself as a new beginning. It has made a huge difference in my thought patterns with putting myself back in focus.

So this week I made it all about me. It was tough at first because I felt selfish and it felt out of character for me a little. The challenge is finding the balance. I can get so wrapped up in doing things for everyone else that I end up leaving myself in the dust. I needed this week to find myself again. Putting myself first didn’t mean I was neglecting everyone else but it did mean I had to say no to some things that weren’t what I needed that moment and it meant that I said no to negativity and it meant that I needed to make time for the things I wanted to do and needed to do. I still spent time with family and friends this week but I also made it a priority for “me” time. I made the time to have a counseling appointment so I can work through my thoughts. I made time to go to the gym. I spent the time with my friends walking instead of drinking a beer and eating all that yummy not-so-good for you food. I made it a priority to blog each evening – which I did at the kitchen table with my mom so we could chat too. I said no to eating out last weekend so I could be home where I wanted to be…and I cooked which was relaxing.

I just got home from the gym from my first personal training appointment. Fitness is something that I know is important for me to have in everyone of my weeks yet so many times I push it aside to make time for other things. But because this week was all about me, I was able to commit to something that I needed to commit to and it feels awesome. I feel more energized, my mind is clearer and I’m motivated to do more. This week I started a new fitness journey with my personal training and I’m really excited about it. Although I do have the physical goal of toning up a bit, my real goals are to build strength, endurance and energy. I learned this morning that I’ll be learning to do RDLs and Deadlifts – who would have thought a couple years back that I’ll be weight-lift training?!

See here’s the thing. We as a society want to do so much for everyone else which is amazing and we should but what we many times don’t learn is that we have to take care of ourselves too. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish if you do it the right way. Self-Care and Self-Love are not narcissistic, they’re part of a healthy life and routine. In truth if you are truly loving and taking care of yourself, you’ll be able to do so much more for everyone else and you’ll be able to do it for the right reasons. Spend time with loved ones because you want to not because you feel obligated. Go to the gym because you want to better yourself not because you want to fit in. Eat healthy because you want to fuel your body not because it’s the trendy thing to do. See where I’m going with this? Let the love you build for yourself energize your day and your actions. Be nice to people because you want to be a nice person. We spend so much time looking outside of ourselves for motivation, strength and hope but really it’s all inside of us.

What I found out this week is that a lot, well most, of my anxiety was stemming because I had fallen off track, off my track, my path. I had stopped thinking about me, or I was thinking about me in all the wrong ways. I got stuck thinking about what mistakes I had made instead of looking forward to what I was working on. When I looked back I saw things I did wrong instead of the lessons I had learned and how far I had come.

My “Me” Goals:

Exercising several times during the week. Being active daily.

Journaling – whether it be writing or art-journaling, something to relieve thoughts and emotions from my mind.

Choosing to eat healthier because I feel better when I do – minus the McDonalds I indulged in yesterday!

Stop focusing on what everyone else thinks and just be myself. The only standards that really matter are the ones I set for myself.

Work towards my goals and dreams every day, no matter how little or how big of a step I make forward, to do something everyday.

When I focus on taking care of myself, everything else falls into place.

My advice for the week: Go look at yourself in the mirror and say this: “I am beautiful. I am strong. I will overcome this and anything else that comes my way. Pain and troubles are temporary. Today may be hard but another day will come and I will beat it.”

Such a great post! very inspiring to read, I must say, I myself had also some rants against me, I really wanted to allocated some time for myself but the things is I’m too occupied with all the work loads. thanks for this lovely motivation that you’ve given. I guess I have to put my self first!

Good luck with your goals. I suffer from agoraphobia. 3 years ago, I was almost 60 pounds overweight. I started exercising daily and watching what I eat. Today, I am at a normal weight. I wouldn’t say my anxiety is under control. I still cannot drive – but it is better than it was. I can at least venture into public with my husband for a few hours.

That must be challenging for you, I’m sorry. It sounds like you have been making wonderful positive changes though and you should be so proud of yourself! I know I can’t exactly relate to your struggles but I’ve had my bouts with anxiety and focusing on the things I’m passionate have been very healing for me. It helps me escape from my fears. Much love to you!!! Sending tons of positive thoughts your way!

I love your “me” goals. I love the saying “you can fill from an empty cup” and it is so true. You deserve to be a priority in your life and there is no reason to feel bad about it! I can’t wait to hear how your journey continues!

I totally agree with you on this, self care is as important as caring for others in the society. One should not forget that we as a life is as important as someone else if you can’t take care of this one (your own) how do you plan to do good things for others. Inspired by reading your article. Thanks

Oh my gosh no! Putting yourself first is definitely NOT selfish. Quite the opposite actually! How can you help others if you’re in a bad state? How can you open your hearts to anyone if you’re not all there mentally, physically … you have to make sure you’re well taken care of before anything else!