Ruth to the Rescue: Are grads moving home or moving out?

FINANCIAL PRESSURE VERSUS FREEDOM. YOUNG ADULTS FACE TOUGH DECISIONS AFTER THE THRILL OF GRADUATION. I HAVE QUITE A FEW STUDENT LOANS AND IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING MORE. WITH MANY DROWNING IN DEBT. DO THEY MOVE OUT ON THEIR OWN OR HEAD BACK HOME? WELL, AS GRADUATION SEASON COMES TO A CLOSE, PLENTY OF COLLEGE STUDENTS STRUGGLE WITH THAT BIG QUESTION. YEAH. A LOT OF US HAVE GONE THROUGH THAT. CONSUMER EXPERT RUTH SPENCER LOOKS AT THE KEY CONSIDERATION FOR PARENTS AND GRADUATES. WELL, IT USED TO BE WHEN YOU GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE YOU WERE PRACTICALLY EXPECTED TO MOVE OUT ON YOUR OWN. BUT THESE DAYS, EXPERTS SAY STUDENTS AND THEIR FAMILIES NEED TO CAREFULLY CONSIDER THE PROS AND CONS OF MOVING BACK HOME, OR MOVING OUT. FOR MOST COLLEGE STUDENTS, GRADUATION IS EXCITING, BUT, AFTER THE BIG DAY, MANY FACE THIS QUESTION. WHAT NOW? WELL, I AM MOVING HOME WITH MOM AND DAD W HOW EXPENSIVE COLLEGE IS, IT REALLY FORCED ME TO STAY HOME RATHER THAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. DECIDING WHERE TO LIVE IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST QUESTIONS FACING GRADS. AND THESE DAYS, THE ECONOMY HAS CHANGED. AND MANY STUDENTS HAVE BIG LOANS TO PAY OFF AND NOT EVERYONE CAN LAND A BIG SALARY WITH THAT FIRST JOB. I THINK IT IS HARDER TO FIND JOBS. THE ECONOMY IS MORE DIFFICULT. THE EXPERTS SAY GRADUATES, YOU REALLY NEED TO CRUNCH THE NUMBERS TO SEE IF MOVING OUT ON YOUR OWN IS REALISTIC. DOING YOUR RESEARCH. KNOWING WHAT THINGS COST. AND WHAT YOUR PRIORITIES SHOULD BE, THAT'S GOING TO PUT YOU AHEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE. STEP ONE. FIND A JOB. AND FIGURE OUT A BUDGET FOR LIVING ON YOUR OWN. THAT BUDGET MUST INCLUDE PAYING OFF ANY STUDENT LOANS. I THINK THE FIRST TWO, THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE I WILL HAVE TO LIVE IN POVERTY. IF THE NUMBERS DO NOT ADD UP SOME STUDENTS WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO SOME OF THE PERKS OF FLYING BACK INTO THE FAMILY NEST. DEFINITELY FOOD TO COME BACK TO. I WOULD RATHER PAY FOR FOOD. DO NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR HOUSING. THEY GIVE ME A CAR. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR. EXPERTS SAY IT IS COUNTER PRODUCTIVE TO GIVE THE GRADUATE TOO MANY PERKS WITHOUT ASKING FOR SOMETHING IN RETURN. IF THEY CAME HOME, I WOULD HAVE A CONTRACT WITH THEM. AND THAT CONTRACT WOULD BE DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES, AND PROBABLY RENT. CREATE A SET OF HOUSE RULES THAT SHOW MUTUAL RESPECT. AND THE GRADUATE SHOULD CONTRIBUTE TO THE HOUSEHOLD. BY SHARING EXPENSES. OR WORKING AROUND THE HOUSE. AND SET A TARGET DATE FOR GRADUATE TO MOVE OUT. WHATEVER AGREEMENT YOU MAY WORKOUT. THIS FATHER HAS WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR TODAY'S YOUNG ADULTS. HANG IN THERE. AND YOU KNOW, IT IS NOT EASY FINDING THAT FIRST JOB. BUT ONCE YOU DO, THAT CAN LAUNCH YOU IN MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. REVIEW SUGGESTIONS AND FEW MORE ON THE RUTH TO THE RESCUE PAGE ON CLICKONDETROIT.COM UNDER

DETROIT -

It used to be that when you graduated from college, you were expected to move out on your own. These days, experts say families need to carefully consider the pros and cons of moving home or moving out.

The financial equation has changed for many young adults. They leave college with a huge student loan debt hanging over their heads.

"I'm already home with mom and dad with how expensive college is. It really forced me to stay home rather than go somewhere else," said Shelby Township resident Jake Jarbou.

If at all possible, young adults may want to set a goal for paying off their student loans. Is there a way to pay off the loans in 10 years? 15 years? Getting that debt paid off might need to be priority No. 1, that way grads can know how much money is left over for living expenses.

"I think the first two, three years of my life I'm going to have to live pretty impoverished," Jarbou said.

Flying back to the family nest

If the numbers don't add up, it may be better for the graduate to fly back to the family nest. Many parents are willing to give their adult children the support they need to get a better start in life.

"He'll be welcomed back home if he needs to get a little launching pad for it," said Amburn, who is the father of two teenage boys.

However, expert caution parents from giving their kids a free pass when they move back into the home. If you give them too many perks without requiring some participation, you could be getting into dangerous territory.

Jeff Sadowski of Birmingham, a father of three, agrees. "If they came home, I would have a contract with them, and that contract would be duties and responsibilities, and probably rent and some step towards emancipation."

How to move home without driving each other crazy

If moving home is the best way to go, there are several steps families should take to make that transition go more smoothly. Ruth to the Rescue checked with Tom Hakim of Hakim Financial, who offered many of these guidelines.

1) Start talking about the student moving home well before graduation. Consider the pros and cons together.

2) Work out some house rules that show mutual respect for each side. Curfews for young adults might not work, but the graduate needs to be respectful of others in the home.

3) The graduate should contribute to the household, by sharing expenses or working around the house.

4) Are there other relatives who might have room? Some grandparents need the company and help around the house. Working out a mutual beneficial agreement could help both sides.

5) Some experts suggest young adults should function like they're still living on their own, doing their own laundry, cleaning, and cooking. Don't expect your parents to revert to childhood patterns.

6) It might also be a good idea to do some redecorating. If you're room hasn't changed since high school graduation, maybe you start the transition to adulthood by turning your space into a place an adult would live.

7) Finally, set goals or milestones that will move the graduate toward a move out date. It could be a time limit, or when their student loans are paid off, or when they have a higher paying job. Agree on some benchmarks that will give both sides some hope that the arrangement will not last forever.

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