Things That Used to be Good but Now Suck

Growing up in the 80′s, I was a avid collector of baseball cards. Since the Oakland A’s were my team, my favorite players were the Bash Brothers, Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco. As the two players achieved early success, I had foolish dreams that my Canseco and McGwire rookie cards would eventually be worth tens of thousands of dollars. Fast forward twenty plus years and a couple of steroid scandals and I would be lucky to get $100 for both of their cards.

As a result, my McGwire and Canseco rookie cards are a good example of something that used to be good, but now sucks. Here are a couple of more examples:

1. Cracker Jack Prizes–You used to be able to at least get some kind of cheap plastic ring or top. Now all you get is a cheap piece of paper or sticker. They are so lame that I don’t even open the prize anymore.

2. American Idol–Who knew that the one of the main reasons most people watched the show was to see what kind of medication Paula Abdul took that day and how it would affect her???

3. The New York Knicks–After making the playoffs for 14 straight years from 1988-2001, the Knicks have not won a playoff game since 2001 and haven’t even made the playoffs since 2004.

4. Toyotas–Do I really have to explain?

5. Lindsay Lohan–This childhood Disney star showed us her talent in movies like The Parent Trap, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, and Mean Girls. Now she is best known for making terrible movies like I Know Who Killed Me, forgetting to wear proper undergarments, and for suing E*Trade.

6. Myspace–Once “The Place” to be on the internet, now Myspace is now just a glittery back ground graveyard that auto plays the popular music of 2003.

7. Scrambled Adult Channels–A long time ago (okay about 20 years ago), the adult channels came in scrambled unless you subscribed to them. Unfortunately for me, my parents did not subscribe to these channels so I had to resort to watching the scrambled version to see what was going on. Fortunately for me, sometimes the scrambling was not that great and I could see (and hear) what was happening.

Now, in this internet age, millions of boys going through puberty will never enjoy this rite of passage. Instead, they are exposed to hard core pornography every day. Yes, those parental controls that you put on your computer can be easily bypassed by your tech-savvy seven year old.

8. AOL Instant Messenger–This weird yellow guy was on every computer in the United States a couple of years ago. Now only preteen girls and pedophiles seem to use this service.

9. Tiger Wood’s Publicist’s Job–This quickly went from the easiest job in America to a candidate for an episode of Dirty Jobs

10. Saturday Morning Television–Even though I have never been a morning person, I used to at least try to wake up early on Saturday mornings to watch all the good cartoons. These days, you are more likely to see an infomercial on a Saturday morning than some Looney Tunes.

Can you think of any other things that used to be good and now just suck? Leave a comment to let me know.

12 Responses to Things That Used to be Good but Now Suck

It’s amazing that so many people who are born in the late 70s share the same opinions about the way it was when we were younger. Then again people in their 50s talk about the good old days as well.

But my god I have tens of thousands of baseball cards just waiting for the market to return. Also nothing beats the USA Cartoon Express from when we were kids. Granted a lot of those cartoons were from the 60s, but my god Herculoids could not be stopped.

Nostalgic list man… it really did bring back memories especially since I think we’re around the same age. Here’s a few more:

- Amusement parks – What used to be the highlight of the summer is now a haven for gangsters and Teen idiots trying to make-out on the slow rides. Exception: Parks that price out these idiots (namely: anything Disney).
- Realistic toy guns – not the orange/pink crap that has a yellow tipped barrel
- You said the Knicks; what about the Bulls post Jordan?
- Terminator movies – you now need a chronological time chart to follow
- Black or White enameled colored furniture with gold trim

MTV should definitely be on this list. It used to be a forum for groundbreaking new music. Now it might as well be called reality show tv. They’ve even gone so far as to take the words “music television” out of the logo. At least they realize what they’ve done to it.

Indiana Jones. Ruined a perfectly good trilogy with the Crystal Skulls, which felt like nothing more than an opportunity to position a new actor to take over the franchise, so it can suck over and over again.