Recap: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 8 [A Bro’s Thoughts]

Theo Jones

Most of the time when The Vampire Diaries does a type of flashback/historical episodes, they’re pretty awesome. In the case of “We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street,” I feel like we were given a lot of filler and not enough of really…um, anything. Sure, we actually left Mystic Falls for the worst substitute of New Orleans I’ve ever seen and there was even some visits to vamp pound town in the very beginning, but that doesn’t mean it’s a winner of an episode, people. Let’s discuss the reasons why.

In Which Elena & Damon’s Bang-Time Goes Into Overdrive

While the idea of Damon and Elena together works for the time being, the fact that it seems purely based off of fan service to see these two together is a little lame. Sure, the TVD interwebs community will explode with their GIFs and YouTube tribute videos to these two, there’s just something a little empty about Elena’s involvement in the relationship. While the struggle between the two brothers is the basis of the show, it’s like: “Come on, girl, you just wanna get slammed out by both brothers without either of them being mad about it.”

The real revelation about the episode however is that the idea of Elena being sired was called out as total bullsh*t resulting in Stefan looking like a jealous 8th grade boyfriend. Dude, come on. You lost the girl. Take it like a man. Move on. Caroline’s always with you and seems like she’s willing to jump just about anybody’s bones, so go for that. Take comfort in a blonde. Even though Stefan seems to be heading towards the land of pointless characters, the fact that Elena openly admitted her love for Damon at the end of the episode pretty much made the last 4 seasons of this show completely null and void. I mean, becoming a vampire and all is a big deal, but even Kristen Stewart kept her dead eyes and lack of life intact during The Twilight Saga. You’d think the producers of TVD would let Nina Dobrev stay the same, but the more she stretches out her acting chops in each episode, the less convincing of a vampire she is.

In Which Three Girls Alone In A House Turns Into RAGE CITY

So the writers of this show want me to believe that three 18 year old high school seniors (two of them immortal vampires), get wrecked off of a single bottle of champagne each? Really? While I’m not complaining about the fact that Bonnie and Caroline decided to get all touchy and grind up on each other to the most generic high school party song ever, I just figured for a couple of ageless girls there would be a higher tolerance to booze. I guess on my personal checklist, for whenever I go visit Mystic Falls, I’ll remember to bring something ridiculous like Everclear. One shot of that and it seems like everyone’s just white girl sloppy wasted.

In Which Tyler Lockwood Turns Into Batman Because His Slam Piece Is A Backstabber

Tyler’s slam piece Hayley (psh, whatever) is in line with the creepy historian dude and needs a bunch of hybrids to chill with her. Easy enough since she’s got Tyler, right? Wrong. I mean who really knew that hybrids had wolf pack mentality? Because I didn’t. Anyway, Tyler, come on. You’re really going to let some two bit weirdo sister try to take your spot as pack alpha that easy? You shoving your hand into someone’s chest and holding on to their beating heart and making them bow down to you was pretty bad ass, but you’ve gotta lose the gruff in your voice when you do something like that. I just kept hoping the entire time that a cape and cowl was going to come over your eyes and you were going to say: “I’m Batman.” Seriously.

In Which The Creepy Historian Dude Stays Creepy And Historical

Professor Shane showed off some true creepster mannerisms tonight, saying how he was just ‘the beginning.’ The beginning of what, bro? More creepy professor dudes with no lives coming to hang out with 18 year old high school teachers and ‘show them magic’? That sounds like a date with Chris Hansen, not a playdate with Kat Graham. The slow build to this eventual new big bad is kind of lame, but it seems to be staying interesting enough to last hopefully only until next week when the show goes on winter break. Frankly, I hope Professor Shane dies because this dude is annoying.

Anyway, another episode of The Vampire Diaries down and the obligatory historical Salvatore brothers flashback is over with and I am so happy that I won’t have to gouge my eyes out from the sepia tone of the memory scenes. Next week though, seems like it’s going to be amazeballs! Not only a Christmas themed episode, but a major play for power with Tyler’s plan to take out Klaus and Elena confronting Jeremy after being sidelined this episode. I personally think the lack of characters for me is what made the episode drag. Oh well. Check out the promo for next week below and let me know what you think so far of what’s going on in Mystic Falls.