December 14, 2008

movie blisster.

my goodness gracious. what awful things you can do when you have way too much time on your hands. indeed to that idle/devil hand theory.

i bought five too many movies at hollywood video because they got me with the buy 2, get 2 and then some additional percentageness off just to seal the deal. and with the abundance of time i found myself with this weekend, i watched two of them. two of the five that i had not seen.

now, if i could go back in time, i would not have entered hollyhell video, i would not have purchased 6 previously viewed dvds and i would not have come home and watched two of the worst movies i've ever endured. were that this macbook a time machine...hmm.

exhibit a: the savages. this movie is listed here first because it proved less awful on the oh so awful meter and because i watched it first. (i'm a sucker for chronological order and that kind of jazz) consensus amongst the viewers i polled in my house this weekend (this includes myself, my hank and my new christmas tree, who i swear actually leaned away from the tube during this flick) is a whole lot of boredom and boredom. yes, twice the boredom for your viewing pleasure. i'm going to guess that it's due to my current age that i was not able to fully understand and appreciate the sentiment. siblings dealing with placing their estranged parent in a nursing home and watching him die...i see the bleak and the dire, i'm not just interested in watching a movie about it. it's three best attributes: philip. seymour. and hoffman.

exhibit b: the happening. this movie should have been called the not happening or the not going to happen or the never should happen that you watch the happening...something along those lines. because some of the actors in this movie have been in many others and have done so well, i am curious to know if they were instructed to do a shitty job. if they were downright told to act like a bunch of doohickeys to make the viewers hate them. if so, they are stellar at following instruction. i almost searched the cable guide to see if elf was on, yet again, to redeem zooey deschanel for my own personal relief. so yes, the movie blew, the acting blew and the fact that shyamalan's cameo was in the form of a name of some random dude on a cell phone for no reason makes me hate it even more.

where is the justice? i wonder if i can scratch the shit out of them and casually make an exchange for something else...damn, i'm optimistic today.