A Maryland teenager who asked Maryland state legislators to vote 'no' on marriage equality for her 14th birthday has become the first human to successfully break the homophobe sound barrier. In her speech before Maryland's Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee, she managed to claim being gay is a choice, that parents of gay kids are harming them, that gays indoctrinate children, and that redefinition of marriage will lead to all other words being redefined. Wow. A full Homophobic Bingo card. What does she win?

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According to ThinkProgress, the girl is a home schooled teen named Sarah, and Sarah really ardently doesn't want other people to have the right to love who they want in al legally recognized arrangement, because of all sorts of things. For your headache pleasure, here's the text of Sarah's speech.

Today is my 14th birthday and it would be the best birthday present ever if you would vote 'no' on gay marriage. I really feel bad for the kids who have two parents who are the same gender. Even though some kids feel like it's fine, they have no idea what kind of wonderful experiences they miss out on. I don't want any more kids to get confused about what's right and okay. I really don't want to grow up in a world where marriage isn't such a special thing anymore. It's rather scary to think that when I grow up, the legislator or the court can change the definition of any word they want. If they can change the definition of marriage, then they could change the definition of any word. People have the choice to be gay, but I don't want to be affected by their choice. People say that they were just born that way, but I've met really nice adults who did change. So please vote no on gay marriage. Thank you.

To Sarah's credit (or the rest of the anti-gay marriage crowd's disgrace) her argument is just as sophisticated as the sort of garbage we routinely hear from the anti-gay marriage set; which is to say that it's childish and easily debunked. But Sarah's got an excuse: she's a 14-year-old child who has barely experienced anything that the world has to offer. She's got her whole life ahead of her to realize that she's wrong and literally decades of adulthood to spend embarrassed by her chirpy teenage hatred.

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On the other hand, this is a person who is a full 14 years old and still harbors a worldview where it's morally acceptable to call for the removal of other people's rights. For a birthday present.