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Friday, January 18, 2013

Saving your Marriage, Part 2 "Life is Short"

Life is Short.

All the greats have understood this. I've read authors, philosophers, sociologists; talked with wise men and boneheads -all agree. Life is short. So how can understanding these three words save your marriage?

Come with me as we journey back into the centuries ...

Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9 says,

7 Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for

9Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life

that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life

and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.

In order to understand what the wise author of Ecclesiastes is teaching, you will have to understand the original language being used. In verse nine, you will find the word "vain". In Hebrew, the word "vain" can be translated as hebel. Why does this wise author use the word hebel when referring to his relationship with his wife? He is trying to emphasize a very important point to the reader, and that point is this: Life is Short. Life is fleeting, like a breath on a cold morning that once you see and then in an instant it disappears before your very eyes. See, life moves very quickly and this is one thing that all married couples need to keep on the front burner of their mind.

I've heard it said that married life can seem as if it's only 5 days long. The first day you meet, the second day you marry, the third day you rear your children, the fourth day you meet your grandchildren, and a fifth day you die first, or bury your spouse; then go home alone for the first time in many years.

Life is Short. Why is this reality so important for you and I to remember?

Because often times we lose sight of what's really important. Our life gets full of all of the little things and all of the distractions that seem to get in the way. And what gets tossed to the side like an old pair of shoes? Our relationship with our spouse.
-Who's going to bring Sara to soccer? -Who's going to pick up Johny from practice?-Did dad start the addition? -Did mom plan the PTO meeting?
This all happens while the couple forgot to build and stay focused on maintaining a healthy relationship.

When offering premarital counsel, I ask couples to imagine themselves on a date sitting in the middle of a busy lake in two sepeareate boats. On that lake they are intentional about staying close to one another because they are so in love. Due to their passion, they hardly notice the waves that are trying to tear them apart.

Over the years, however, the same couple may find themselves on distant sides of the shore. The reason is that when they were dating they were intentional about staying close to each other, but as time passed; life filled in and they forgot to maintain their relationship with one another.

This heartbreaking scenario is why many couples often separate, divorce, or live shallow married lives after their children go off to college. It is because the couple forgot about the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship through the years. It is becuase they forgot that Life is Short.