The idea of being both confident and able, yet also worried and not able.

Having a belief in yourself and having a lack of belief.

A link to my own psyche - my introvert.

I appear, as many in the arts (even in life), to be an extrovert. But am I really? Does this feed my insecurities? Does this halt our progress in life? All aspects of it?The concept of armour, that in our sessions we wish to remove the armour so we can be free to explore. In life this armour is vital to keep us safe. But can it keep us too safe? Can it stop us from really being? We can remove the armour in performance, in practice, but not in life. This must have a knock-on effect on our lives, our relationships, our well-being.

So if we are all potentially introverts then how do we find the middle ground between introvert and extrovert? Is this something to look at? Is it achievable? What is it each one of us wants in our work, life and Play?

What is the definition of introvert and extrovert? How might it affect our work?

Performers are people who appear free, but are they instinctively trapped in being a 'meta' them? A version of themselves in practice and performance that they daren't be in life.

In ThreadBear Theatre and MonkeyHeads the free and supportive quality of our time is highly desirable, but how to use (and be) this in normal life? Is such a thing possible?

Even at some points during ThreadBear and MonkeyHeads rehearsals we cannot fully be present. What is it that unlocks this state? The relationships, the dropping of the armour? The belief and trust in the others in the room?

Ho do we recreate this for the MonkeyHeads and ThreadBear training? How do we recreate it for corporate training through Applied Improvisation? How do you bring others to this way of thinking if I cannot do it in my own life?​You do so through a clear and justified set of exercises with specific aims and purpose.

This is a reflection on something I talked about in 'Last Night Playback Saved My Life'.

The rehearsals and performances I encounter with artists in the context of Tribute Shows are really interesting.

There is a definite sense that people would like to Play, but don't have the bravery, understanding or skills to do so. Therefore they get stuck in a loop of trying to be good, while sticking to the script... literally.

I realised through the various experiences during my time back in that crazy land that the ability to 'just do' but also the understanding of aesthetic is really important, something that is not in most performers minds. It certainly wasn't in my head as a young actor.

What needs to happen in the space - the knowledge of how to 'be' in the role but also how to self direct too. This is really difficult. Actors don't know how to set the room up, in the moment. This makes rehearsals really difficult and slow moving, creating an anxiety in the room that was palpable, in the actors and the producers. There was very little method or aesthetical technique - stagecraft, even without a stage. And even less time to think about this.

Had we all been able to really Play, things would have been much faster moving, more fun and more efficient.

I often find the main facilitator/producer/director ends up just saying... "This is how I do it... just do this, it's really easy and obvious." When of course it isn't.

But that is what you get when the pennies were £65 rehearsal and travel. You get what you pay for?

So we look at our Personal Bias. My bias on my work, what is good for me is not necessarily good for others. Then we look at Human Intuition, which is not necessarily helpful due to our own bias.Now for the question: How do I come up with exercises that do not make assumptions on what everyone likes? e.g. Sohail Khan does not like, or see any merit in Machine Games. He doesn’t see the point, but I do. In the wee discussion we had 20% of the room saw no merit in them, whereas 80% of the room did. So which exercises are important and what is their purpose? Khan had not seen or experienced a meaningful version of Machines as a game. He might never see or experience such a thing. He saw no benefit and didn’t even enjoy the game. So his personal bias (perhaps social bias too) linked to his intuition as to how he perceived the exercise resulted in never seeing the benefit and joy that (in our sample in our room) 80% of people did.So what exercises are a panacea for my training?

Bibliography:Khan, S. 2017. Conversation with Duncan Marwick. 31 October.Rosling, H. & O. 2014. How not to be ignorant about the world. [Online]. [Accessed on: 1 November 2017]. Available from: https://www.ted.com/playlists/474/the_best_hans_rosling_talks_yo?utm_source=tedcomshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=tedspread--a