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Saturday, 22 January 2011

Malleable • adj. 1 able to be hammered or pressed into shape without breaking or cracking.

2 easily controlled or influenced. 3 able to adjust to changing circumstances: adaptable.

Did you know that the most malleable of all metals is gold?! It is capable of great deformation without actually breaking (I have a fetish for useless facts. Move on).

This got me thinking about the ‘gold’ present in my life. My health, relationships, creativity...Could I shape all these elements over the space of a year into something even more beautiful and precious just like the gold nugget being pressed into a Tiffany ring? Is it indeed possible that one can fashion their reality however they choose? Being brave enough to look at those areas which don’t seem to be working and then, using all the tools at our disposal, begin to hammer and shape these parts of our lives with complete trust that, just like gold, change doesn’t mean that things will break and crack.

Reality is not set in stone and the only thing that holds us back is fear. Fear of failure, of not being good enough, not being loved/appreciated etc...The list is endless. It doesn’t seem to be enough anymore to just be dissatisfied with our lot in life. The discomfort has become too comfortable, too familiar.

So this is the challenge. What areas in our lives do we now want to change and make better? What is keeping us up at night that if we made a conscious effort to mould, our journeys would have more meaning? Just like gold, the more we shape our lives, the more beautiful they become. Reality is indeed malleable.

I have always restricted my musings to the safety of my cobalt blue journal. For my eyes only! However, as I sat there, 5 minutes to midnight clutching onto a glass of something cold and fizzy, I couldn't help but do the obligatory yearly evaluation. Listening to the crowds of partying people in the background shouting and singing away in anticipation of the first chime (which was now 3 minutes away), I was transported back to the start of the year in a 'Scroodge, I am going to show you your Christmas past' sort of way (minus the ghostly billowing and cobwebs but you can leave them in there for dramatic effect if you fancy).

So I started the year of 2010 optimistically by packing my bright red bag and returning to beautiful Italy to embark on another tour. (My love for that country deserves a blog of its own-another time).

Breathing on a stage every day doing something I truly love is the most exhilarating feeling in the world which was then followed closely behind by the well known to all actors, slump once the show was over! Hmmmm....

Chimes T-Minus 2 minutes.

This is when I guess my journey of the year really began. It seems that for most of last year I have been searching for something....something I hadn’t quite put my finger on but which dangled about a centimetre from my Roman nose making it itch like crazy.

I think a lot of people on this beautiful planet (maybe even everyone) will, around midnight once a year, look at their life and wonder where and how they fit in....or don’t. We all most certainly think of things we would like to change about our lives.

Then as the masses began counting down from 10... I made a promise to myself...9...I would be braver this year...8...and look inside myself...7...at things which I hadn’t dared glance at before...6...this would be the year in which...5...I stood up, dusted myself down and...4...made the change in my life...3...challenged myself beyond my well worn comfort zone....2...and for the first time in my life, without hesitation...1...FLY!