heartbroken

I just so desperately wish my boyfriend would do something with me..anything. I feel so worthless to him. I can never do anything right. I just want to feel like i’m in love again. I want to be happy. I cant help but think i might just have to accept that we will never work and move on with my life. I hope that i find the right person for me, someone who makes me happy and makes me feel good about myself. I need someone in my life who has a positive effect, not negative. Right now when someone says relationship or boyfriend i have nothing but sad thoughts. I want that to change so bad. I keep trying to tell my boyfriend but i don’t want to hurt him. But then again he hurts me over and over and doesn’t seem to mind it much. I’m sick of never doing anything together. How am i supposed to find love and happiness again if we never do anything. Its just disappointment over and over again. I’m not sure how much more i can take. I look at other peoples relationship and wish it was my own. I wish i was happy and i wish i felt better than i have been. I’ve been with him for a year and 4 months and for some reason i really don’t think this is what its supposed to be like. I understand he has a job and friends but i’m in his life too. He makes me feel like i’m just something he needs to get out of the way so he can go do what he actually wants to do. I really don’t know what to do. I love him and want to make this work but i really don’t know if it will. How much more heartbreak do i have to go through to realize that enough is enough. I keep thinking what my life would be like if i was with someone else..someone who had time for me and someone who’s family wanted me to be in their life. I’m so tired of feeling down, i just want to feel good again..

sarahhhh

3 thoughts on “heartbroken”

I’ll let you in on a secret from someone who knows. It gets so much better. I was with this guy for about 3 years and towards the end of the relationship i was feeling all the things you are now. It’s a very particular kind of hurt, the kind that sinks to the bottom of your heart, but the interesting thing about it is that when you turn things around to better your life it starts to float. You can’t really feel things that float, but it’s still there.
That had to be one of the hardest things for me to do, because I loved him and I knew he loved me back, but I also knew that this isn’t how it was suppose to be. The constant feeling of being shut out and thrown aside really starts to get to you. I realized there was no one way I could settle for that. If you know that it’s time to move toward then do so in your way. Though I’ll tell you that is gets so much better. It sucked to have to do that but my life has flipped upside down in the best ways possible. I’m more happy now than I had been during that entire relationship.
It hurts, but decide what to do based on you, because at the end of the day you being happy is more important than what other people want. If the guy wants to put his happiness above yours than what does that say about him?
Sorry for the long comment, thought you should hear some outside input.

Thank you both for your comments. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. We are in a tough situation and riding it out and waiting for it to get better is extremely hard. I keep wanting and hoping that it will get better but as time goes on i lose that feeling. I don’t have much confidence that its going to get better. His parents don’t like me and so i cant see him as often as id like. What is heartbreaking is that he once said to me that he has other things he wants to do and he has his life to live. I totally agree that he does but im apart of his life and he doesnt treat me like that. It doesnt seem like im apart of his life. It feels like its just like his job. Something he has to do to get it over with. I wish he had more time for me and i wish we could go out on dates again. I want him to show me why i fell in love with him 2 years ago.

It should never get like that. You want to be with someone with all your being when your in love. If your significant other treats it like a job serious questions arise. Why would anyone devote so much energy in a relationship with someone they dont want to be around. If they have other things that they hold at a higher priority than you then they should just do them and leave you alone. That way you can devote your time and interest into someone who appreciates it and gives it back, because that what a partner does.