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Sunday, January 16, 2011

True Love Waits

It is official. Deployment has started. I wanted to post one final pre-deployment blog before deployment started and well, time got away from me.

The day of deployment, I took my husband to the pier, kissed him and said see you soon. He grabbed his bags and made way to the ship. I then met a friend at the NEX and we headed to the pier for the hour and a half of family time that was given aboard the ship.

My friend and I went our separate ways with our SOs. My husband had to work. He had to muster at 0600 and because some idiots were late muster didn't start until 0630. Muster lasted more than 30 minutes leaving less than 30 minutes with him. He walks up and says he had bad news. He had to go do some sort of training and had to go immediately. Giving us about 5 minutes to say our real "See you later". I anticipated that he wouldn't get much time with me.. So, I wasn't upset when we had to part early.

I met up with my friends to wait for the time to be kicked off the ship. Some friends shared some tears and I tried to be there to comfort them as best as I could. Goodbyes are never truly easy when you love someone when they are leaving for such a long period of time.

I was ok.
I was ready for this deployment. Ready to start the journey and conquer it.

I hadn't shed a tear. I didn't think I would have. I'm not one to cry much- it's a rare thing. That doesn't mean that leaving my husband was any easier on me, just means I deal with my emotions in a much different way and in some ways, Maybe I had prepared myself a bit more mentally. At this point, I was sure I wasn't going to cry.

Of course, sometimes, in being so sure of being prepared, you then realize that just maybe there is no real way to prepare for a deployment 100%. My husband snuck me a text. The last text I would get from my husband for several months. Simply said how much he loves me and that he misses me already. If you know my husband, you know he's not the "Wear his heart on his sleeve" kind of guy. Two tears fell down my cheeks. All because of an unexpected last text message.

I had said my goodbye, I had mentually prepared myself- told myself, "Ok, that was that.. on to the next thing.". The text was unexpected. But my goodness, it was such an amazing feeling reading it.

Watching the ship, I wasn't sad, I wasn't upset in any way. I was Proud. I have never felt so proud in my life.

The distance from my husband, deployments.. surviving on emails. This is the life I chose. The life I chose when I said, "yes" to his marriage proposal. This is the sacrifice I make. The sacrifice I make so that my husband can do his job, to serve his country and provide for our little family.

His job is to serve his country, My job is to support him on the homefront. To wait for him. To stay true to him. To above all.. Love him.

9 comments:

I was very happy reading your post to see that you had a day very similar to my own. We seemed to have handled this the same way and have the same opinion on it so I'm glad that now, I'm not alone. I've been feeling pretty bad because everyone else is having such a hard time dealing with this and I'm not. It was starting to make me think that maybe something is wrong with me for not being a complete basket case when he left. But in all honesty, I have a life outside of my husband. I have to hold it together for my children. I have to hold everything down until he comes home so I really don't have the time to have an ongoing pity party.

Long story short, I enjoyed this post. Thanks for making me feel normal. :]

What a wonderful post. HUGS! Because even if you say you are fine we both know you need them. I may be a name in the comment section, just someone who reads you blog. But I am here for you and by your internet side.

This post reminded me of my husband's deployment day... I didn't cry at all when we said goodbye, but I BALLED the second I saw him for his homecoming. It's almost a relief to start the deployment...no more dreading his departure. Now you can anxiously await his homecoming :)

I just survived my 1st deployment and reading your post got me a little teary eyed.It reminded me of when the Mr left. I prepared myself to stay strong for him and our son. We said our good byes then he made a last call and said he loved me and was so impressed with how strong i was and knew he had a strong women behind him. But as soon as we hung up i just balled lol!!! enjoyed reading your post Good luck to you on your deployment!!