Month: April 2017

That I did the stuff this morning! I woke up feeling lazy. And there were dishes in the sink from last night, and packages on the d.r. table, and couple things in den. I felt like, “I just want to sit and crochet.” But – I had one cup of this drink called java (not coffee but has caffeine) and I: did the dishes, did the packages from d.r. table, straightened den, took shower and washed hair, cleaned bird cage. And by about 7 am, felt like a new person! Now – even if I ~choose~ to take a lazy day, it is in a nice environment. And if anyone stops by, I’ll feel good too!

That I went to meeting last night.

And took Jl. This helps us BOTH get there:)

That I shared

And got lovely reactions. It is so nice to know that people *notice* the changes in me! It’s sort of validating.

SO glad I also went to WW meeting in am.

and shared

Leader hugged me. I lvoe her.

And she asked if I could stay and share that at next meeting.

I called mother to see if coming over one hour later was ok

It was

I loved the second meeting too!

Visited mother

Great visit.

She was well:)

Enjoying lunch

Aide M was in great form

There is an upsetting situation about the 24/7 care – potential problem – but I’m grateful that Iafter just couple of hours, I was so calm and knowing I’ll find a way to deal with it. She WILL have the care she needs.

I’m grateful for the itches because they will be the cause of me finding another good doctor (mine left the practice and this gives me an opportunity to find a good PCP while I see dermatologist, before I’ in real need).

That I am taking care of my teeth. Brush and salt water rinse for the healing site, and

flossing at night

and that does help me not eat later too.

I am grateful for the oral procedure, which kind of brought me back to caring for my whole body at the next level.

I am grateful for my WW journal

and my blingy stickers

I am so grateful for my friendship with Jo!

I am so grateful for THIS WW leader

and the group

and the later group

and Sh

Also the guy I met last night, Jn

I’m grateful that I have enough food

I’m grateful that the birdies flew today

I’m grateful for my digestive system

I slept last night

I love my book

I didn’t have any bad dreams

Yellow bird is chirping up a storm right now!

with toy

Grateful for every happy minute I’ve had with birds

and buying things for birds

What magic it is having them in my house

Grateful for lamps

crocheting

heat – which I’d better turn up now, as I’m so cold

Golden Girls

Columbo

Roseanne

My piano – which I’ll have tuned soon

My front windows

J for putting them in

the trees out front

and back

and side

my new wood fence

my forsythia has started to bloom

my house

my car is fixed

my teeth

my gums

my tongue

my saliva

my swallowing

my ability to speak

I am free

I am safe

I am calm

I love my neighborhood

I ove the neighborhood where I work

I have TWO outdoor malls for walking near me!

And parks

and beachs

I have a backyard

I have a front yard

I have a side yard-like space

and a side walkway

I have plants

Some perennial

some annual

and indoor plants too

my sunroom, for which I waited so long, is done

I have order in my basement

and a totally 100% clear attic

Jo helps me a lot

I have perfect eyesight

I can hear

I can walk

I can drive

I pay my bills on time

I am respected at work

I have fun a work

I do not have M’s drama and bullshit in my life anymore

I am “there for” people.

My friendship with Tr

and L

and DS

and O

and D

and B

And K

and Jen L

and St

and N

and A!

My mother

Aide M with her

Aide F

other things too which I know I’ve posted before but it is worth continuing: like bathroom electricity

my kindness

my compassion

my humor

my life

that I did’t kill myself

my dreams

my books

my piano-playing

calssical composers

my shoes

my boots

summer is coming

spring is here

i have a week off soon

I work things out. I always did.

I am MUCH stronger than I ever thoguht I was

and that I just wrote about them in my journal

that I am not OBSESSs me and what anyone thinks of me anymore – with food or not-food/ with routines or avoidance of routines/ with sadness melancholy and depression/ with how everyone treats me/ with keeping my home in order or not/ with teaching/ with piano

That I shower and /or bathe every day

and look good every day

and get specialty pedi once every three weeks

and massage almost every month. Wow these are luxuries.

So I have, in a month: one week cleaning ladies/ one week mani-pedi/ one week massage. Wow!

humor

intelligence

my hands

that I love typing so much. It calms me.

I ordered my Erin Condren planner!

And it should be here the first eve of my vaca!

my eye drops. So grateful for those

my little tiny bit of Paxil. I mean, the “normal dose” for people is between 40 and 60 mgs a day. *I* take 15 mgs every OTHER day 🙂

So glad that that works.

good movies

pizza

and that it’s not often

and can be vegan

Thich Nhat Hanh

my nails

my toes

my fingers

lovely nature sounds

those walks in woods with dog off-leash

Talking nicer to myself lately.

The Law of Attraction

and that I’m tapping intoit more now. May i only do so more and more.

Beading

knitting

embroidery. including crewel work

cross stitch

needlepoint

stitch n zip

museums

that although I am not against zoos, knowing what I know and favoring sanctuaries, that I HAVE gotten to see irl zebras, giraffes, lions, tigers, monkeys, elephants, bison, rhinos, and more

Botanical Gardens

GI

OB

PR

P&B

I have eaten in wonderful paces in NYC

and London

and Bermuda

and Barbados

and LA

my fb friends

what I learn from them

squirrels

fish

turtles

wood

trees!

flowers!

grasses!

dirt

soil

earth

meditation

meditation with others

soft clothes

my washer and dryer

I will do laundry soon

jewelry I’ve made

and bought

and gifted to me

gold

diamonds

emeralds

rubies

garnets

sapphires

tanzanite

blue topax

my bracelets

my rings

my earrings

my necklaces

my temporary tattoos

toothpaste

toothbrush

having my teeth cleaned last month – how different it was – not unpleasant or painful and horribly bloody like itused to be

supportive people

the concert I went to last week

and the one I will go to with Tr in Apr

and our paint nite. I loved it

painting

reading

teaching

elementary math

how dating L helped me change

how it taught me that I can DECIDE “this is how I am” and be it! to a great extent

bright yellow

how pretty my birds are

vegan cookbooks!

that I can and do inspire some people

little Mn’s footprint in the frame ❤

I have never been in a tsunami

or a tornado

or a real flood

or a hurricane that hurt me

An earthquake did do a little bit of damage to my house but it was only a little!

Prayers now:
God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would hep, of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always, amen.

So today I will go to my happy WW meeting. Then visit my mother. The ay before yesterday was rough; she was suffering. yesterday she was fine:) Today we’ll see.

I will then to shopping for my groceries. and I am so thankful about that.

Later I will pick up Jl for a meeting! It is within walking distance for her but she feels it will encourage her to get there and I’ll be only blocks away so I’m happy too. Also, knowing I have to pick her up will get me there!

Tomorrow I will get a mani pedi! After i do my “morning work” and laundry and cooking:) And I will read:) 🙂

The human body is one of the most beautiful things that we can see. We need to practice treating such beauty with reverence. Perhaps we’re afraid to contemplate beauty and that’s why we don’t treat our bodies and the bodies of others with respect.

My takeaway: Lots to think about in these few lines. Like: yes, we need to treat such beauty with reverence. And yes, we must practice. But also – why would we be afraid to contemplate beauty? I think this is NOT what he meant, but the ONLY reason I can think of is that we’re carried away with other things – worries, regrets, busy things….

—

How to Sit:

A FLOCK OF BIRDS

When you practice sitting with others, you don’t have to do anything at all. The basic practice is to be there, to follow your breathing, and to experience the joy of being together. Imagine a flock of birds flying in the sky. Every bird has its own position and each bird makes a contribution to the whole formation. They fly so smoothly together. Since each bird is part of this larger formation, they don’t have to make a lot of effort. They benefit from the collective energy and don’t need to work as hard. It’s a pleasure to fly together like that in the sky. When we sit together, we are supported by each other. We each produce our true presence and offer that to each other.

My takeaway: Nice. And also when alone can enjoy, I hope and think (at long last)…

—

How to Eat:

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION IS FOR EVERYONE

Eating mindfully is a practice that supports ourselves, our families, our society, and the planet, and it is something everyone of any age can do. Leaders of organizations and communities can model responsible and compassionate eating. If you are a mayor, a governor, or a president, you may want to encourage the people you govern to engage in mindful consumption so that you can reduce the violence and suffering in your community.

My takeaway: Oh my gosh yes. So glad I’ve made changes. May I continue and make more and more!

—

How to Walk:

RETURNING

We don’t have to wait until we die to return to Mother Earth. In fact, we’re in the process of going back to Mother Earth right now. Thousands of cells in our bodies are dying each moment, and new ones are being born. Whenever we breathe, whenever we walk, we are returning to the Earth.

My takeaway: Wow, I love this!

—

How to Relax:

THE BREATH IS A BRIDGE

Our breath is like a bridge connecting body and mind. In our daily lives, our bodies may be in one place and our minds somewhere else, in the past, or in the future. This is called a state of distraction. The breath is a connection between the body and the mind. When you begin to breathe in and out mindfully, your mind will come back to your body. You will be able to realize the oneness of body and mind and become fully present and fully alive in the here and the now. You will be in a position to touch life deeply in this moment. This isn’t something difficult. Everyone can do it.

My takeaway: To stay connected. not to have body in one place and mind in another.