Sitting at the edge of my bed I grabbed my tennis shoes, slipping them on one by one. With a deep breath I straightened up, then bent forward again and rested my elbows on my knees at the sudden queasiness I got when I exhaled. We weren’t even on our way to dinner yet and it was already nerve-racking. Aside from not knowing how to act when we got there, there was a nagging presage in the back of my mind that said this was a bad idea. A really bad idea. Not to forget that I already felt sick. It remained to be told if I could even stomach food without hurling from the anxiety.

After a few moments the squeamishness subsided a bit, and I stood to head out to the living room. Jamie was sitting on the couch, flipping through a wedding magazine and looking at decorations, so I stiffly sat down next to her. I was so tense and rigid, I imagine if I kept standing I would have passed out already from lack of blood flow. I couldn’t even be sure I was breathing, and it got so bad that I had to fall against the back of the couch because I was getting too weak.

“Are you okay?” Jamie asked, glancing up from her magazine to look over at me. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

My head drooped to the side so I could meet her eyes with mine. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I confessed.

She continued to study me for a few seconds before she spoke again. “Do you want some water or something?”

I nodded, and when she got up to get it I collapsed over where she’d been sitting, lying down on the couch. I knew I was probably psyching myself out, and how I felt was surely one hundred percent mental, but I couldn’t help it. I was scared. When Jamie got back I slowly pushed myself up so she could take her seat, and then sipped on the water while she watched me.

“You’re not,” she started, and paused for a second to eye me carefully, “mad at me, are you? For giving Mom the letter.”

Shaking my head, I put the half-empty cup on the coffee table and then leaned back against the couch, setting my hands flat against my stomach like the feeling would help ease it. “What did you say to her anyway?”

Jamie leaned back too, and turned onto her shoulder so she could look at me. “Lots of things, most of it was probably just angry gibberish. Cameron had to drag me away after a few minutes.” She chuckled. “I asked what Grandma would say if she knew everything that had happened. I told her that I’d never met a more selfish person in my life. That being a mother doesn’t mean she gets to choose her responsibilities.” Jamie laughed again, giving a slight roll of the eyes. “You know how they are, so I threw so much religion at her I could see the fear of God in her eyes.

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link
to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers
to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant
links or contents immediately.