A single, soon to be mom, by choice exploring a new blessing in life

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Monthly Archives: June 2015

It always amazes me when people tell me how I should feel about something or who completely judge me when I express I feel a certain way. I am a woman who confidently will express her opinion when she has one and very rarely does that opinion change. Since the development of Social Media (Facebook to be exact) I have had NO problem expressing myself on MY site, full well knowing that some of my “friends” will not agree with my opinion nor should they. The thing that surprises me is how many people still want to fight me on my opinion and then list information proving somehow I am wrong to think or feel a certain way.

After I read this retort I have to sit back and decide whether to A) bite my tongue so I don’t damage the friendship or B) fight back which usually turns into a bitching match on MY Facebook so I work really hard to do A more often. There have been two things I have been expressing my opinion on more lately because the issues are all over the news and Social Media. I’m going to express them here again because this is my blog and I feel like it 😉

Listen, I get it, but in reality very few students are actually going to be affected by this. Unless those grades and comments are required for getting into your dream high school or college, it really isn’t going to harm your child and it certainly isn’t going to harm you. You know what will harm your child – being in a classroom next September with one teacher, NO EA, and 29 other kids, half of whom don’t speak English well or who are on an IEP. So your “normal” kid, next year will have no special attention on them and likely won’t get a chance to stand out, but hey teachers are horrible right? Let’s fire them all! People who have NO idea what it is like to be in a classroom with limited supplies and even less support are driving me crazy with their Holier Than Thou attitudes. Yes there are bad teachers, horrible teachers who never should have been hired – but there are also REALLY REALLY horrible parents…you don’t get fired so get off your ass and support those who take care of your children and are looking out for them instead of trashing them all over social media. It’s childish and no one wants to read about it, but hey – it’s your Facebook so when it is on there I will try not to comment, instead shaking my head and scrolling on.

Pan Am Games – Toronto and it’s traffic

Since moving to Ajax I have had to deal with my fair share of traffic nightmares, but I knew this would be the case when I decided I did not want to rent the rest of my life, I wanted to own a home – not a condo – a home with a backyard where I could safely raise my children. Sometimes I complain about traffic. If there is an accident or a huge storm of some kind, the already crazy traffic gets worse and I complain. I am human last time I checked.

When I was advised that Pan Am would be held in Toronto it didn’t even cross my mind, but holy shit traffic is going to easily double and my already 45-60 minute commute will now be much longer!! I flipped. Toronto has historically awful roads, construction everywhere and it is a commuters hell! Now the passing lanes are being converted to HOV with 3+ drivers only and I want to cry. I have been told not to complain buy a few “friends” because I chose to move to Ajax. I did. I willingly moved there because renting was not how I wanted to live MY life. A lot of amazing friends do it and happily do it because they can’t afford to buy, want to be in a specific neighborhood where there may not be financially sound homes to buy or a million other reasons, but I chose to buy a home in Ajax. I did not choose for the City of Toronto to host the Pan Am games and intensify already insane road conditions. My work, ironically enough, will not allow staggered work hours and for me there isn’t really the option of re-routing because for some reason we only have ONE main highway East to West and North to South so I will need to leave early. Earlier then I already do. It would be nice to carpool, but finding one person, let alone, 2 more people to use the HOV lanes with, would be next to impossible.

So I complain. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me or to protest for me, but MY social media page allows me to vent my feelings and if you don’t like them and worse yet if you are completely aghast by them, move on…keep scrolling.

Just like I do when you complain about teachers – and like you will do 6 months from now when my contract ends and the union goes to bat for us.

Ya, it’s been weeks (shut up fine it’s been a LOT of weeks) and I am finally writing, blogging, catching you all up on what’s been going down since my last entry.

To be honest I haven’t written because nothing has been going on. Life as I know (as I am doing it) has become stagnant, boring, predictable.

The cottage was open, I spent the May long weekend there with Kim and her family, which as always, was amazing. I had a great time.

The guys have come back and have started working on finishing my back yard. I can’t wait until it’s all DONE

My nephew – 18 – has a girlfriend…I know, holy crap! She is super cute and they are cute together in their little 18-year-old bubble. My nephew, while needing a swift kick in the ass to get him motivated, at the end of the day, is a great kid and I am glad he has met someone who is fun and quirky that he can enjoy life with.

Work is work. Enough said.

My mom moved in – oh wait what?! Ya, circumstances happened that my mom had to vacate my aunt’s place temporarily so of course I took her in. I didn’t even hesitate – she is my mother, regardless of our past. I judge people on their present actions and for the past two years she has been supportive, encouraging, loving, giving and very present in my life. Simba loves her to pieces, and it’s nice to have the company. It is temporary – for how long we don’t know, but until that date, I am happy to have her.

My “wound” of course is a mess and causing so much emotional strife I can’t even deal with it on here, so just know…surgery may be required AGAIN and no I am not okay.

Simba is great – of course he is…he’s a little muffin who makes me giggle and smile and pull my hair out all within a single day.

Baby…there is no baby. Not yet. My period has been all over the place so I haven’t even attempted it. I have had to seriously consider that it may not work out for me. That I may need a surrogate, I may need to adopt – and how do I feel about that. That is meant for another blog when I can get through it level-headed – because right now, me not being able to get pregnant is not something I can fathom.

Dad, the two-year anniversary of his passing is coming up next month and that floors me! How is it possible I have been without his love and protection for TWO YEARS?? I have survived, of course I have, he raised me to survive turmoil and sadness and to come out on top, but so far, I am not on top…I am tip toeing the middle line, not sure if I am sinking or swimming half the time – just knowing I am still alive and still trying to thrive.

A quick update, a brief “hey bloggy friends I have not forgotten you”. I will blog more soon, I promise