Xanax Withdraw

I know I'm going to sound incredibly stupid. I have a variety of issues and have tried different meds every time my doctor told me to. I have a pill pushing doctor that sees me for 5 minutes every 3 months. I do a lot of research on my own due to this. I have cut a lot of drugs cold turkey like topamax, lamictal, trileptal, and a number of sleep aids. I usually end up with a couple of >>>>>> days, but feel okay quickly. Unfortunately, I have been on Xanax for approximately 7 years I believe. Various dosages that got higher as time went on. The highest was 2 mg throughout the day. I tried taking it on an "as needed" basis. My prescriptions said as needed. Then my doctor threatened to take it completely if I didn't take them as prescribed. .5 four times a day. Apparently the as needed part of it was a subjective thing? It took him a long time to realize I wasn't taking that much so I have a lot of extra Xanax. There was an issue at my last appointment. A drug screening due to being a county facility. I was unable to urinate in front of someone. Although I offered any other test for drug screening, they wouldn't budge. I made myself sick on water trying to force it. They told me all I would lose is Xanax, but my important medication in my mind is my anti depressants. So I figured oh well. I'll go off of it. It's not like I'm taking much. Heck, I didn't even want it before so maybe it's a sign to get rid of it. I didn't think at that amount it would be an issue. I just didn't take it. By the next day I was a mess. I ended up giving in and said I'd take .5 a day for a few days to see if I could make the transition easier. A few days into hell, I looked to the Internet for answers and realized my plan sucked. But now I'm almost a week in and allowing .5 daily. I really don't want to start taking more to taper after making it this far. I know I'm stupid as all get out. But looking to see if anyone has any advice on how I should proceed, what I can do to make it less ugly, or how long I'm going to be in bad shape. Although the obvious answer is talking to my doctor, it's a weekend, he isn't in until Thursday, and I'm just random patient he sees for a few minutes to keep the drugs. We have insurance. It doesn't cover mental, so after being with him for years, I just kept going because full price there was less than anywhere else. I should have looked into detoxing slowly. It's not like I don't have plenty of it. Any advice is greatly appreciated, even though it's my stupid decision that caused this mess.

I know I'm going to sound incredibly stupid. I have a variety of issues and have tried different meds every time my doctor told me to. I have a pill pushing doctor that sees me for 5 minutes every 3 months. I do a lot of research on my own due to this. I have cut a lot of drugs cold turkey like topamax, lamictal, trileptal, and a number of sleep aids. I usually end up with a couple of >>>>>> days, but feel okay quickly. Unfortunately, I have been on Xanax for approximately 7 years I believe. Various dosages that got higher as time went on. The highest was 2 mg throughout the day. I tried taking it on an "as needed" basis. My prescriptions said as needed. Then my doctor threatened to take it completely if I didn't take them as prescribed. .5 four times a day. Apparently the as needed part of it was a subjective thing? It took him a long time to realize I wasn't taking that much so I have a lot of extra Xanax. There was an issue at my last appointment. A drug screening due to being a county facility. I was unable to urinate in front of someone. Although I offered any other test for drug screening, they wouldn't budge. I made myself sick on water trying to force it. They told me all I would lose is Xanax, but my important medication in my mind is my anti depressants. So I figured oh well. I'll go off of it. It's not like I'm taking much. Heck, I didn't even want it before so maybe it's a sign to get rid of it. I didn't think at that amount it would be an issue. I just didn't take it. By the next day I was a mess. I ended up giving in and said I'd take .5 a day for a few days to see if I could make the transition easier. A few days into hell, I looked to the Internet for answers and realized my plan sucked. But now I'm almost a week in and allowing .5 daily. I really don't want to start taking more to taper after making it this far. I know I'm stupid as all get out. But looking to see if anyone has any advice on how I should proceed, what I can do to make it less ugly, or how long I'm going to be in bad shape. Although the obvious answer is talking to my doctor, it's a weekend, he isn't in until Thursday, and I'm just random patient he sees for a few minutes to keep the drugs. We have insurance. It doesn't cover mental, so after being with him for years, I just kept going because full price there was less than anywhere else. I should have looked into detoxing slowly. It's not like I don't have plenty of it. Any advice is greatly appreciated, even though it's my stupid decision that caused this mess.

My recommendation is to take enough xanax to where you feel stable with little to no withdrawal symptoms. Stay at the dose for a week or so then start the slow taper of 5-10% every 7-10 days. Update when you can? Take care... God bless us all!