A waterslide so vast, you can see it from space

The Chinese government has this morning announced sensational plans to transform a short stretch of the Great Wall of China into a waterslide. In a massive project that is estimated to cost upwards of 160 million Chinese yuan, the length of wall that spans from 愚人节 to 戏说 will undergo a programme of re-enforcement before being divided into three distinct waterslides, each beginning with a fortified watchtower. A formal announcement and presentation of the precise details of the project is expected to be made by Yuren Jie, the leader of the National Tourism Administration of The People’s Republic of China, at midday today.