We here at Mal-Mart plan to return to the Playa in 2012 bigger, better, and badder than ever before. However, we too have been hit by the same ticket scarcity that so many theme camps are experiencing. We have an interesting solution to this though...

Does your theme camp not have enough core-members to do all of those necessary tasks? Fund raising, logistics, transportation, setup, teardown, liquor, DJs, etc. etc. etc....

Fear Not! We have a place for you in Mal-Mart! The structure we plan to build has plenty of room to host several different Co-Camps within its walls. By sharing space with us, we would greatly decrease the burden placed on your theme camp while still giving you the autonomy and independence you crave to do your own thing. Also, Mal-Mart has traditionally been given *great* placement on Playa. You may remember us from 2010 as being that crazy 8 story tall structure on the corner of Esplanade and 7:30. You too can share in that awesomeness, while minimizing all the logistical hassle of running a theme camp on minimal personnel.

2012 is going to be a weird year. We will likely have more Virgins on site than ever before. We *need* to convert these newbies to Burners, to show them the awesomeness that is a Burn. BM is about so much more than just a couple of burning edifices in the desert. It is about the awesome people, the spirit of participation, the act of building, and the spontaneous gifting that we Theme Camps are so well known for.

Don’t let your lack of membership hold you back, but instead think of it as just another one of the countless obstacles to overcome. Team up with Mal-Mart and together we will make the best of the weirdness of the 2012 Burn.

P.S. As one of the few Mal-Mart Burners to win a ticket, I have stepped in as a ‘core member’ for this year. In 2010, I was part of the early-build team, and got to live on the 6th floor of Mal-Mart all week. There is truly nothing like the experience of building an insanely grand and beautiful home and allowing thousands to climb it and share in the awesomeness.

@Rubymermaid. For 2011, our camp leaders were showing a movie they made at a film festival in Ireland, so about 25 mal-martians camped together at 6:30 and C (across from Troy camp). It was actually really funny hearing people walk by the Troy camp and ask then if they were MalMart and if they could climb their scaffolding structure (both if which were answered with a Rude 'No'. We were just Mal-Mini-Mart in 2011 with a couple of small structures.

As for 2012 co-camps, we are fairly open. Preferred would be a camp with an interactive theme, or a bar, or a watermelon stand, or a body painiting station, or a never ending jambalaya pot, or a zillion blacklights, or a live bluegrass band, or a dubstep DJ, or a bunch of stilt walkers, or an art car parking garage, or... or... or... Really, we just want cool, open, accepting people. I'll post a couple of pictures of camp concepts. The main things Mal-Mart brings to the Playa are a bar, a dance floor, a DJ booth and decent sound system, and a massively tall structure. Anything that complements that is welcome!

I am very interested in helping out with Mal-Mart if it is needed. I do not have a theme camp that is looking to co-camp there, but I am willing to do whatever is needed. My girlfriend is also interested in helping. I remember MalMart from 2010, I went to visit it Saturday (or Sunday) night but it was closed for a private party I believe. It seems like a really fun and exciting project to be a part of. Email me if you're interested in our interest. I'll send my email address in a PM.

Seems im in the same boat as cpart...im looking to help,i dont have a camp and it's me and my boyfriend...but we live in San Diego...pretty close to LA but not exactly...still love to help in some way. Hey Mal Mart, are you just looking for co-camps or campmates to be part of Mal Mart with you? Ive actually made my own small little camps of mostly new friends id met through sites such as this and we formed a group and just claimed free space to camp. I have all the gear needed to establish myself and a few others as long as they have tents i have shade for them and after 4 years I finally made an evaporation pit that worked...horray! Anyway, id love to know more...and good luck!!

Excellent idea........ and excellent CAMP you got there.. tell ya the truth in 2010 I was TOO HOT to be bother to climb EVERY single time
I went by your camp... plus I has this 5 ft. GiANT BLUE STAR on my back.... haha!!!

I a gifting ticket to an awesome guy who lectures on the Aztec/Mayan calendar and we are bringing a couple LARGE pictures of it to hang
somewhere, as we do not have a camp, and I am still waiting for 12 people to get their tickets..... I will be signing him up to lecture at different
places such as the Sacred Spaces, center camp cafe, sunset at the man or temple, etc....... if there is a way you'd like to intergrade the celendar
with your theme let me know.....

Great collaborations about to start... I promise I will climb your tower thus year!!!

As you may know, Mal-Mart returns to the Black Rock City this year, committing to bringing a new theme camp to the playa. In their moment of... crisis, BMORG were thrilled to hear this news. If you are among those burners who feel that helping is better than hurting therefore building is better than condemning and would like to be a part of this years camp, please join the new mailing list by going to http://groups.google.com/group/brc2012 and signing up. (This will ensure that Mal-Mart's mailing list isn't over run with this years planning emails).

For 2012, we will manifest "Baal-Mart." If you wish to join our camp or be a part of the planning sign up for the new list to be in the know for all things Baal-Mart!

@ emmersg – We are looking for both co-camps and campmates. Our goal this year is to get 100 Mal-Mart Partners, 30 of which are the Core & Build team, and 70 as the Campmate, Teardown, & Cleanup team (with plenty of overlap between roles). For potential Mal-Mart Partners, we gladly encourage people of all walks of life to team up with us; veterans, virgins, groups, singles, and everything in between. It sounds like you and your boyfriend would be great additions to the crew.

@ Buena Chica – Thanks for the love! Yeah, a big blue star would have been a bit awkward, but it would have looked cool at the top! We certainly have some large signage space available for your art project if you wish to partner with us. What’s really ironic is that our original plan was to build Mal-Maya, a massive ziggurat for 2012 before the ticket demand troubles hit. The Calendar would have been a perfect fit there.

I suggest you both join our Google Group for official info and our Facebook Group for all sorts of randomness. If you have any specific questions, please PM me.

@ Honey Bucket – Thanks for the comparison. I think we should be just about as tall as that tower when completed! We plan to have the DJ booth facing straight at the Man and perhaps having some pyrotechnics come out of the tip of the top dome when the Man burns. That should be fun!

DESCRIPTION
For 2012, we plan to go BAALs deep with BAAL-MART; the camp of your wet dreams. Diversely comprised of campers with varying backgrounds including seasoned burners, bushy-tailed virgins, classical musicians, rocket scientists, ballet dancers, doctors, gays, straights and everything in between, BAAL-MART does not designate any single identity for its members other than pretty awesome. Our time is spent providing shelter and activites for active BAAL-MARTers and contributing to/participating with the community and ideals of Black Rock City. While some camp members can live in the structure, BAAL-MART will accommodate as many tents, RVs, small domes, yerts or those weird buildings that look like tin foil glued to cardboard, that can fit in our allocated space. Despite our updated apropos name, we will continue to promote the soul and traditions of Mal-Mart by following our supermart format where "shoppers" will be greeted and encouraged to browse our goods and services or climb our 80 foot(estimation) shaft tower.

Some successful Mal-Mart initiatives that will be returning for 2012 include:
**NIGHTLY PARTIES with some of BMs most celebrated DJs that will both make you feel sassy and shake your chassis
**THE RX BAR where burners of age can step on up for a consultation from our overqualified pharmaceutical magicians. Our drinks are poured strong and will cure whatever ails you
**THE GARDEN CENTER provides a place where BAAL-MARTers can lounge and greet shoppers
**THE PLAYA ART GALLERY lined with our camp partner's favorite images
**THE CRAP is fully stocked to satisfy all the dusty couture needs of our BM Shoppers

BAAL-MART camper privileges:
Choice of accommodations (limited availability) that you can call home for the week
Access to kitchen appliances (with some simple clean as you go rules)
Full access to all levels of the structure including the top of the shaft for viewing major events (ie the man burn)
Access to ride BAALs DEEP, BAAL-MART's own mutant vehicle that will take daily (and nightly) jaunts to the deep playa.
Bragging rights that you live in THE TALLEST ERECTION ON THE PLAYA.

BAAL-MART camper responsibilities:
Camp Dues - amount TBD which goes to the rental of our structure
MOOP Patrol - daily sweeps and an all-out cleaning during and after Teardown
TEARDOWN - many hands make light work, so a communal effort to lower our erection on Sunday is vital
Kitchen Cleanup - there are no maids or chefs in our camp, so you are expected to bring all the food and water you need, clean up as you go, and store and remove your own trash

MISSION ON THEME
At first glance, onlookers will be able to immediately place the phallic inspiration for the contour of our structure. Yes, it's a ten story tall twizzler of love. But we encourage all who gaze upon our dusty home to not settle for such a on-the-nose interpretation of our scaffold erection(hehe). Through the feminist, post-feminist and post-post-feminist agendas (and through the fact that many men are assholes) the world's perception of the schlong has gone awry. On the contrary, a penis engages in oral sex every 2.6 seconds. The male genitalia has honorably garnered an infinite number of garishly crude nicknames throughout the history of the spoken language such as tubesteak, veinous maximus and weapon of ass destruction. Baal-Mart, with its double geodesic living domes and central tower, will stand on a foundation to inspire, affirm, change, evolve or fertilize the community's relationship with the spam javelin, whatever that may be. We have no intention of creating one common opinion for the goo bazooka. We just want to celebrate all the diverse beliefs and attitudes toward this very important character in the Fertility story while welcoming visitors to our store front to stock up on some awesome.

The Baal-Mart 2012 Camper Guidebook has been published. If you would like a copy for your perusal, you can either PM me here with your email address, email me at jonathan_andersen at yahoo dot com, or join our BRC2012 Google Groups email list, http://groups.google.com/group/brc2012.

An open letter to anyone considering joining or donating to Mal-Mart this year:

Really MalMart isn't about the location of the camp, the coolness of the scene, or the amenities and comforts that come with a theme camp. To me its all about what service we are offering to the BM city. BM is all about participation. Without all of us coming and doing something, there would be no event. This is my 4th burn, my 3rd with MalMart, & the 1st time I've been the coordinator of a camp. Just by building the structure alone, we participate. We rally together to put a ten story building on a dry desert lake bed with an internal stairwell that THOUSANDS of people will be spanked at the base of simply so they can climb to the top for a different perspective on our city. That alone is worth all of the back breaking effort and funds required to build and then lower this tower for a week.

But then we make it better.

We cover the tower in white cloth and bathe it in constantly changing colorful light each night so that people use it as a point of navigation as they cycle across the desert. "Hey man, where is that cool party? Oh, halfway between the huge cock and center camp? Thanks man!". I mean really, they say the theme is going to be Fertility this year? Of course someone is going to build a massive penis. We are that someone.

And then we make it even more betterer.

We add a bar, we add a DJ booth, we add some incredibly good Djs, we add a wicked sound system, we add a dance floor, we add a garden center, and we add hidden chill out rooms completely free from dust, wind, and sunlight. All of these things that we add... we don't do them for ourselves. They aren't our toys, our playground, our hidden little enclave... These are all our gifts to the event. Gifts to 60,000 of the coolest people in the world that are gifting back to us wayyyyyyyyyy more that we could ever give them. We try our hardest to make it the best each year for everyone else at BM.

So if you are asking yourself the question as to whether the extra cash and effort of joining this theme camp is worth it to you based on what YOU get out of the deal, then you are missing the point entirely.

I personally am working about 16 hours of overtime per week this summer to get the resources I need to make the event better for the 60,000 Burners. My extra $ is being used to fabricate shade structures as gifted shaded camping spots for the 25 or so international people that are joining our camp. I am sure many of you are doing similar sacrifices in your life for similar reasons. For you virgins, don't feel bad, you just haven't had your mind blown yet. Don't worry it will come. Hopefully MalMart will be part of the Radical Self Acceptance journey that you will take on Playa to transform yourselves from spectator to participant. Even if you don't camp with us, I would love it if you hung out with us.

So two last words of wisdom and I'll stop my monologue.

1. Just say "NO!" to Sparkle Ponies. Don't be a Sparkle Pony. Whenever you think about BM preparations, keep Radical Self Reliance in the forefront of your mind.

2. "Just the tip" is a myth. Just trust me on this one. Although if you ladies want to learn why it's a myth, well, I would love to assist you with that educational opportunity.