Tonight I went to an Open meeting with a friend, a meeting that I normally do not attend... and they picked a topic from "As Bill See's It" that dealt with "Love and Kindness"

It brought up a memory of my newcomer days after being in AA for just a little while (long enough that they would let me share)... and the topic had something to do with Love.

I shared something about Love, and after the meeting a little elderly woman came up to me and said "Kid! You don't know anything about Love. I could tell that by what you said."

She said "Do you know what Love is?" And, before I could open my mouth, she said, "No. You don't. You don't know anything about Love. I'm going to tell you what Love is, and don't you ever forget it! I'm also going to teach you some manners and some other things if your man enough to come back!"

I have to admit... after what she taught me about Love, I realized that I didn't know anything about Love. For a long time I used to think she was the head boss of AA... because when she talked people listened!!! And, everyone absolutely loved her.

Since I asked the question... rather than give you my answer... I'd like to hear your answers!!!

After three years of not drinking and doing AA I still dont know. Other than how I feel about some in my life, which I call love. I feel that I would do anything for my mom or my dog, but I dont allways act that way. I was taught here in AA that for love to be true that we must act that way. And I try. I'm sorry this sounds confusing. I'm still an angry person. I have been hurt many times and have hurt others so much that I have a incredibly hard time establishing and maintaining trust. What I can say is that I have the will to be a loving and careing person now that I dont drink. I dont think that I have answered your question Dallas. Now I have a few more for myself and my higher power.

Jeremy, you're not the only one. You don't sound confusing at all. I'm still learning how to love myself. I was raised in a very disfunctional family and love was not openly expressed. I have never so much as seen my mother and father hold hands or even talk to each other nicely for that matter. They are both gone now. It has been my experience that everytime I have opened myself up to allow someone into my life I've been hurt very badly. I learned along time ago to build that wall up around me. Unfortunately in doing that I shut myself off from my own children as well. Now I see my son doing the same thing. I'm learning now, one day at a time, to open myself up again and do not place any expectations on what I will receive in return but it's hard. Losing people who you love is very hard and I've learned to medicate those feelings because they were always too hard to deal with. That fear of abandonment still stays with me but at least now I'm facing it.

Because I'm not sure what it is like to receive it, I'm not even sure how to give it. I must say though, that when I go to an AA meeting with all the new freinds I have met I do honestly feel loved there. But there, I don't worry if that feeling is real or not. It doesn't matter. It just feels good. My hubby still says he loves me all the time but he's leaving me. Still makes no sense to me. All I know is that he has his own inventory to deal with and if he needs to leave to be healthy and happy then I love him that much that I can let him go. I hold no resentment towards him for that although it does make me very upset that the marrage is over.My son still does not speak to me and has been very nasty to me but he has his own inventory to deal with and I love him enough to give him his space. If not having me in his life makes him happy and healthy then I love him that much that I can let go. It hurts like hell sometimes because I have a new grandson too but I hold no resentment towards him and I will always be here for him.

Anyway, I really look forward to hearing the answer you received from that elderly lady. Don't wait too long to post it

The only thing I know for sure is that love can sometimes hurt but if you close yourself off from the hurt you close yourself off from the love too.

After three years of not drinking and doing AA I still dont know. Other than how I feel about some in my life, which I call love. I feel that I would do anything for my mom or my dog, but I dont allways act that way. I was taught here in AA that for love to be true that we must act that way. And I try. I'm sorry this sounds confusing. I'm still an angry person. I have been hurt many times and have hurt others so much that I have a incredibly hard time establishing and maintaining trust. What I can say is that I have the will to be a loving and careing person now that I dont drink. I dont think that I have answered your question Dallas. Now I have a few more for myself and my higher power.

I hope you stick around with us. I'm sure we can learn a thing or two from you! I could have used someone like you in my corner when I was new to AA. I needed someone who understood me.

Seems like I would end up in the crappy AA meetings where someone would hurt my feelings by saying something to me like "What do you know about love? What do you know about anything? We came here to get rid of what you know! If it works so well ... why don't you write a book about it? Doesn't look like it works so well for you! You couldn't sell any books if you did write one, because you would be attached to the book!"

There aren't too many of those old AA members around any longer, like the one's who used to hurt my feelings with that kind of stuff. Most of them all died sober. I sure do miss them. And, they were usually always right, even when they hurt my feelings. I never did attempt to get a book deal! I'd give just about anything to be able to sit down in a meeting with them all, once again. Life just doesn't seem the same without them.

holy freak'n Big Book... as i was lay'n in bed last night toss'n and turn... smoke'n cig aft'a cig ponder'n all the crap thats be'n come'n down my road to Happy Destiny. ha!... i decided to take a look at just this very subject!!! yikes!!! ### rub'n my #### Hmmm!!!... love is this, love is that. blah, blah, blah. my sponser, the hep kat that he is ### Big #### has directed me to try to bottom line things. seperate facts from wishfull thinking. untruths from rationalizing... i think ya get my drift... so as i bottom lined this love word... my Band of Gypsys were trying to come out and party... the me, me, me's were trying to get me... after sending off the BoG's... and meditated ### cleared my head of all the #### prayed a bit, talked to God, then listened... PC's botom line on what is Love... Love is "Unselfish".... nice topic Mr BB... and yes, i love you ... great day to all... Rusty