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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

so how do i make my whine anonymous?? i have one and it's all your fault.

Yesterday, when i was away doing the work of the people as a citizen lobbyist (because that's the kind of wonderful selfless person I am) some moron in my family fucked with the toaster setting. So, while I was busy reading spineless whines, my bagel burnt and smoke is rolling through the house and i can't open the doors because it 10 degrees and the mouse that lives under the deck will come in, poop everywhere and give birth under my bed. Logically, it's your fault because if this website didn't exist, I would have been closing monitoring my toaster. Instead, I'm still hungry, the house stinks, the dog is freaking out, i'm freezing my ass off and the mice are lining up to use my bed as a birthing center and i'm forced to drink before lunch. I'll accept cash as compensation.

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Six years of law school and this is the best we could do:

All whines become the property of Secret Spineless Whine for Amy & Marinka to use and/or reproduce for any purpose. Like a book. Or anything else that pops into their sick little minds. Didn't your father warn you to read the fine print first?