“Christmas music in shopping centres induces a trance like retail frenzy.” (People buy more than they need because they are hypnotised by the muzak – not heard that one since about 1962.)

luvvie: Is “luvvie” now shorthand for “lefty”? It has been appropriated by people who have no idea it once meant “actor”, from Private Eye’s LUVVIES column. (Actors are alleged to call each other “love”, “darling” etc because they can’t remember names. And all that portraying emotion in plays has contaminated them – they now express emotions in real life, the fiends!)

Now people are asking sarcastically what we’re planning for Valentine's Day (another American important and media-fuelled attempt to part us from our cash). Has anyone told them that meanness is terribly unattractive?

Stronger anti-stalking measures (I remember when “stalking” wasn’t a word and nobody would take it seriously.)

perpetrator: "We need to be dealing with the perpetrator. It shouldn't be the victim who needs to change their behaviour." Becoming more common and can’t be said too often.

Advent calendar “jokes”.Twitter full of people making would-be clever “snide” remarks at the words and activities of those they perceive as a teeny weeny bit lefty.

museology: The discipline of museum design, organization, and management.

"Floodgates” used in the literal sense again.

Lots of fussing over teaching children cursive handwriting. (When schools got computers in the 80s, why didn’t they come with touchtyping classes? Proper Sight & Sound touchtyping, not hunt and peck. We could still do it and increase the nation's productivity.)

The feels!Couples used to meet when seated next to each other on aeroplanes – now it’s shared Uber trips. Or LinkedIn dates.

Liberals being described as “Kumbaya-singing” when nobody has droned this dreary ditty for decades. But we SHALL overcome one day.

unicorns and rainbows: shorthand for unreliable uplift

transactional (relationships)

Oh no, now “cultural Marxism” (from the people who think “politically correct” means “rigidly left-wing”. People who seemed quite sensible, like Steven Pinker.)

PEGIDA: Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamisation of the Occident

Earbud jewellery is a thing.

fauxminists (See champagne socialists. Again, if lefties are all “faux”, what are you so frightened of?)

Much discussion of the Star Wars trailer.Lengthy, leaden attempt at humour from the Guardian about Xmas starting too early. (Sorry, Dean Burnett.)