How do we know if we have really and totally forgiven someone.

I believe that accepting yourself and your past is part of growth. Forgiving someone can unload the burden I am carrying. But my aim of easily moving on with life is hindered by my difficulty in forgiving myself and others.

I am having difficulty forgiving someone. I dont know if its in my personality to easily forgive and forget. When I remember the moments I was hurt, i feel hatred for that person though I know before that i forgave him/her. But then again, the feelings well up again. Does that mean I did not really forgive him? How do we forgive someone who has hurt us?

Is this normal? Am I not a good person if I won't forgive him now. I believe that forgiveness is a process. But everytime I forgive there would be a time of feeling hatred.

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It is natural to feel the way you do. You have a right to your feellings, because they are your signal of your connection to the Source, God. It is natural to feel the way you do. The words to tell you what I want to say arenn't forming... but I think maybe you could forgive yourself for being angry? Looks too me like you've been bbeating yourself up over this... Relax.. You're all right.

Thank you. I really don't want to let the hatred and anger thrive in me. I'm scared that I might just snap and hurt someone's feelings. I want to release it cause I know it won't do me any good. I just thought that it wasn't normal for a person to live in anger. -Aica

You ARE a good person... and once you understand that there are nothing but 'good' people, then forgiveness isn't likely to be necessary. Until then... you know you have forgiven when you no longer wonder if you've truly forgiven. When you've forgiven the person (or issue), it no longer packs a punch...

Aica.....when you forgive someone, it is more for your peace.....You may forgive that person and they may genuinely feel gratitude for your forgiveness, but forgiveness is for you.....When you forgive someone who has wronged you, you have to look deep within and find compassion to understand and accept the wrong that you have endured.....When you truly forgive you have lifted yourself to a higher place because you found the courage, strength, compassion and foresight to forgive and this is a very difficult task and it is not always easily attained either. More concerning is the resentment one holds inside when they cannot forgive the person who wronged them. That resentment stays inside and it is like you are feeding hate, you constantly become irritated and sometimes people respond very irrational when they keep that kind of stuff bottled up inside - without knowing so, sometimes that hate eats them up and if affects them, they begin to behave differently, even towards people they love because of something someone did that may have no bearing whatsoever on anyone else, but because you are holding that hate within you, you are attracting more hateful circumstances to come to you, even worse you become agitated because you can blame someone else for the way you feel - TRUTH IS YOU CAN ONLY BLAME YOURSELF FOR THE WAY YOU FEEL EVEN IF IT IS SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT THAT YOU ARE FEELING THIS WAY - YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOU FEEL INSIDE AND NO ONE ELSE.....

Forgiveness goes hand in hand with The Secret/Law of Attraction - in that, you must find a way to release the hate in order for it to dissipate - you have to let it go if you are ever going to move forward, if you are ever going to attain HAPPINESS - YOU CANNOT HOLD BOTH - the Law of Attraction is clear, it is impersonal, whatever it is you are feeling including the resentment, it will bring more of to your life.....For this reason alone, it is imperative that you find a place within you that allow you to FORGIVE FOR YOUR PEACE.....

Thank you for your insight. You are right. I have peace of mind when I forgive. I haven't totally forgiven myself for the things I did. I'm also scared that I might do it again though I promised myself that I won't do silly things anymore.

How do you feel Aica when you think about this person? Terriable, uneasy, frustrated, irritated, hateful, disguted? I mean the list can go on and on and truthfully all these feelings do not affect the person THEY ONLY AND WILL ONLY AFFECT YOU - you have to understand that FEELINGS are yours and yours alone and you are the only one that can choose to change your FEELINGS.....Have you ever wondered why you continue to feel this way over and over - it's because you are holding on to the negative energy that is associated with those feelings and YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE that can release them. Again I need to remind you that when you release FEELINGS out to the UNIVERSE, it is an impersonal UNIVERSE and does not differentiate between good and bad - whatever you send out is what you will receive in return. If you keep FEELING THIS WAY - THE UNIVERSE WILL JUST BRING MORE OF THIS TO YOU. How do you let go and forget - You re-evaluate who is the one actually suffering and you will discover that FORGIVENESS is something you do for yourself. You may let go of the hatred towards someone else, but the act in itself is for YOU - you may never forget - and again that is unfortunate not for the person who wronged you - it is unfortunate for you because you have that memory burned into your subconscious and now you have to reprogram yourself to view that memory differently. If you truly want a GREAT LIFE it starts within you Aica, when you change your thoughts you change your life.....And it is YOUR CHOICE.....so again how do you let go? Let go knowing that keeping these feelings is the worst possible thing you could do for yourself knowing that it is filled with negativity and that is something I know you don't want - DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT!

Forgive yourself, realize that at this very moment you can be HAPPY and do not fear yourself, trust you, trust the Universe.....