Quick before you read any further! I want to know your first thought when you saw the title of this song. Got it? Great.

Last night, I was checking out after a quick trip to Trader Joe’s. A woman who I figured was close in proximity to me in age was running the register.

“Your total is 19.79.”

“Great song!”

She made a face and started humming to the music playing in the store.

“I can’t hear what it is.”

“1979? The Smashing Pumpkins?”

“What? Oh. Your total”

“Yep. Loved them.”

“Oh I don’t really know them much. I think anyone younger than me wouldn’t have known that at all.”

I bowed my head in sadness and dismay while facepalming.

“But I know Billy Cor…gan, right?”

“Yes. Billy Corgan.” Visions of magazine articles and album covers filled my head instead of photos on Facebook. Song lyrics on the inside of CD covers instead of lyrics.com. Surreal videos on MTV instead of YouTube. I picked up my bag and started to leave, my chin buried in my chest.

“I should get points for knowing that, right?”

“Have a good night, young lady!”

And I walked out of the store wondering where to get a walker and a bottle of prune juice.

I’m okay accepting my age, but MAN was I not ready to be worlds apart from someone no more than 5 years younger than me. I remember my friend Jane and I planning our escape to the MTV Beach House, where we hoped to stay in Room 1979. It was a thing. I swear.

And now I’m just melancholy. With infinite sadness.

You see what I did there? Fine. Go Google it.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

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