AS my old Maths teacher used to say whilst chalking up a complex equation - ?there are more ways to kill a cat than choking it with butter?. Sure, but on the first Sunday in October, we want to hand Norm and Arthur to the most worthy of clubs.

AFTER reading through my tale of woe, I?d forgive you for thinking that I?m one heck of a mixed up kid, carrying all manner of mental scars and psychoses. I sure hope you do, since playing with people?s minds is the only coping mechanism I?ve got. Anyway, here is my story. Enjoy.

ALTHOUGH he has the lowest profile of the three players making the short-term switch to engage Super League from the NRL, Sione Faumuina is hoping to impress enough to pave the way for a longer stint in the future.

NORTH Queensland and Parramatta have both suffered blows to their NRL finals campaigns after an unsuccessful night at the judiciary last night. Cowboys prop Carl Webb and Eels backrower Fui Fui Moi Moi were both rubbed out for the entire finals series as well as the early rounds of the 2006 season.

BRISBANE has been bolstered by the return of skipper Darren Lockyer and fellow Origin players Corey Parker, Casey McGuire and Dane Carlaw for its NRL finals clash with Melbourne at Suncorp Stadium on Saturday.