Marvel’s ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Will Be About a Raccoon Who Fights Aliens or Something

Among the many exciting announcements at Comic Con 2012 in San Diego was Marvel’s declaration that the Guardians of the Galaxy would indeed be getting their own film prior to the Avengers sequel, and the characters would also be featured in that second installment, what with their love of fighting Thanos. This put an end to the rumor that wasn’t really a rumor and gives us an idea of just how enormous of a spectacle Joss Whedon’s second Avengers effort will be.

However, depending on how you look at it, today’s Guardians news might be good or bad. Nicole Perlman, who wrote the current screenplay, has been booted. She’s being replaced by Chris McCoy, who has basically zero experience. Bold strategy, Cotton.

Nicole Perlman wrote the previous draft. Perlman is graduate of Marvel’s now-defunct writing program who wrote two space-themed biopics: Challenger, about the 1986 Space Shuttle disaster, and an untitled Neil Armstrong project.

While he has yet to achieve a produced credit, McCoy is considered to have a lot of heat as a writer. The scribe has had three of his specs land on the Black List: Get Back in 2007, Good Looking in 2009 and Good Kids in 2011. His scripts have been praised for their quirky comedic bent. (Via THR)

On one hand, I kind of feel bad for Perlman. But on the other hand, no I don’t. This is Hollywood. Writers are replaced left and right. So what does this mean for Guardians of the Galaxy? Probably a whole bunch of nothing. What actually concerns me is THR’s little revelation of the characters that will be used, as the Guardians had a few different lineups.

… the movie’s lineup will include Drax the Destroyer, a human resurrected as a green warrior with the sole purpose of killing Thanos (the villain in the Avengers final-scene tease); Groot, a giant tree-man; Star-Lord, a gun-toting half-human/half-alien intergalactic vigilante; Rocket Raccoon, a genetically engineered animal with a knack for guns and explosives; and Gamora, the last survivor of her species who was saved by Thanos to be his assassin but now battles him.

That’s right, a talking raccoon. Like this…

But it’s unfair to just assume things based on a small news story, and I’ll give McCoy the benefit of the doubt until he proves me wrong. But in case he’s looking for a good jumping off point, I’d just like to suggest this crazy little idea that I’ve had – I’m not even sure if I’ve ever shared this before – and he can check that idea out by clicking right here.

I’d also love to see a full blown Annihilation/Nova movie(s) and Cosmo the psychic dog and all the heralds of Galactus and Galactus and the what if Aunt May herald where she bakes Galactus planet sized pies. Its a very modest request

I love these kinds of comments. Sure, in the comic book he may be the most incredible character in the world. And that would mean a lot, the source knowledge that you speak of, if this were a post about a comic book. This is a post about a MOVIE ABOUT A COMIC BOOK, so what I’m essentially saying – and not even in a mean way, as evidenced by saying I’ll give the guy the benefit of the doubt – I’m not sure that a talking raccoon will translate well to a movie screen, because have you ever seen Howard the Duck?

But I want Mr Electric Ocean to just admit that he didn’t read the post. Just admit you only read the title and the photo caption. Because otherwise you wouldn’t have posted such a snarky comment if you actually read the whole post.

The best would be if Thanos used the Redneck gem to give himself a Git-R-Done hat, ran over Rocket Racoon in a monster truck, cooked the varmint, and ate him in front of all of Earth’s heros. Mephisto would try to poison the hot suace but it wouldn’t work.

Get Back’s a very good, very quirky script about 2 guys who discover the Parliament Funkadelic spaceship, which turns out to be a time machine, and then go back to 1960s London to prevent Yoko Ono from breaking up the Beatles, but instead one of the guys falls in love with her. It’s exactly the kind of thing that studio execs read and say, “Well, this is great but there’s no way in hell we’re making it, but let’s give this guy a shot at writing a movie based on an action figure and see what happens.”