Expect any car she creates to be sharp, with a huge handbag. [Mirror, USA Today]

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Have you seen Victoria Beckham's appearance on SpongeBob SquarePants? Even though she's a blue mermaid, she is fully accessorized. [People]

Social workers went to Britney Spears' house yesterday to investigate claims that she'd abused her two sons. It seems the bodyguard making the claims is a "disgruntled employee" who is "seeking his 15 minutes of fame." [NY Post]

Today is Lindsay Lohan's birthday, and unlike previous years, when she had huge parties with sponsors, she has no plans. A "friend" says: "I mean there's not much you can do with a monitoring bracelet and no money." [TMZ]

So you know how in the next Twilight movie, there will be a half vampire baby? Robert Pattinson has decided on the perfect actress to play the spawn, Renesmee: Betty White. [Just Jared]

When Katy Perry gets married in India later this year, she will have costume changes, naturally: at least seven different custom-made Zuhair Murad gowns! Will be covered in cupcakes and cotton candy? we'll have to wait and see. [Us Magazine]

Kristen Stewart: Afraid of the fans! "I don't feel very comfortable on the red carpet," she says. "I look out there at a thousand people and I realize they could rush me and assassinate me. No security could protect me. Ostensibly they're fans, but I think about them turning on me." [E!]

Tori Spelling's husband Dean McDermott remains in the ICU with a punctured lung after a motorcycle accident. "He's in a lot of pain," Tori says. Apparently dean is going to quit racing bikes: "He said, 'I'll never do this again. You and the kids mean everything to me.' " [People]

Melissa Rosenberg, the screenwriter behind the Twilight flicks, doesn't know if she is Team Edward or Team Jacob: I go back and forth. Because there's something so attractive about the elegance and sophistication of Edward, the quiet, romantic figure. And yet there's also something very attractive about that passionate, fiery, earthbound guy that Jacob is. And in my life I've gone back and forth." [CNN]

Surprise, surprise: Eclipse is trouncing The Last Airbender at the box office. [Deadline Hollywood]

Katherine and Joe Jackson are going to make big bucks off of various Michael Jackson projects — which is good, because they owe more than $13 million to a South Korean newspaper. Does this family ever get any peace? [TMZ]

This year's Essence Fest in New Orleans — which will feature Janet Jackson, Mary J. Blige, Alicia Keys, Gladys Knight and Earth, Wind and Fire — is helping with the economy in a state plagued by the financial impact of the oil spill. [AP]

"I'm doing a book called Does The Noise In My Head Bother You and I will be speaking about what it's like to be married to four other guys, and what I've had to put up with. There will never be another band like Aerosmith, and I just don't want to do anything to hurt that. I love the band so much." — Steven Tyler. [Mirror]

"If you hate this film, I'm going to start a new film… If you hate both (movies), I'm going to kill myself." — Woody Allen is just joking, we think. [USA Today]

"Right now, we are planning our 3D tour movie, and James Cameron is directing it - we have the biggest director, because we are the biggest group on the planet." — Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas. Tail sex?!?! [Mirror]