Text Mistakes You’re Making

Just like he’d never publicly admit to watching The Real Housewives of Miami with you, chances are, your husband wouldn’t cop to the fact that he punctuates his texts to you with smiley faces, either. But new research shows that while women may pull the emoticon trigger more often, men are no stranger to giving a few winks themselves.

Researchers from Rice University tracked the texting habits of a group of men and women over six months, examining more than 124,000 texts to see just who’s using emoticons. The results: 100% of study participants—both men and women—used them. Women used them more often, but men were shown to be more creative with theirs.

Don’t overdo it, though, says Julie Spira, author of The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web. "Sending a simple happy face to your loved one can be a fun and flirty way to brighten up their day," says Spira. "But the overuse of emoticons reduces the effectiveness." In other words, if every message you send is punctuated with a smile or a wink, your partner will find it harder to figure out what you're really feeling. (And off-topic but related: The overuse of exclamation marks, especially by men, is a turn-off.)

Here are five more dos and don’ts of relationship texting:

DO embrace the quick hello. "I’m a big fan of sending a good morning text to your sweetheart," Spira says. "It never hurts to add 'xoxo' at the end to put a smile on his face."

DON'T send sexy photos. Even if you haven't been a teenager for decades, sexting can still come back to haunt you. "This is the biggest mistake women make," says Spira. "I can’t stress enough that anything you send digitally can and will be shared by others.”

DO use it for quick updates. Texting is tailor-made for confirming plans or giving a status update to someone who's waiting on you. "If you’re running late for a date or appointment, you should always send a text to let the other party know," Spira says.

DON'T text angry—ever. "The problem with relying on text messages is you can’t hear the sound of someone’s voice," says Spira. "A text message sent in jest may be received as hurtful, and cause a fight." If you find a text exchange veering into argument territory, that's the time to switch over to a phone call or talking in person.

DO sleep on it. Just because you can send a text doesn't mean you should—especially if it concerns your relationship. If you have to get something off your chest, send it to yourself (and only to yourself!) in an email and sleep on it, Spira suggests. You might feel differently about it in the morning.