Monday, March 7, 2016

TMIT: THIS BUD'S FOR US ALL

R.I.P. Bud Collins, without you i'd still be into baseball. and i'd still be wearing bermuda shorts.

1. have you ever devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating)? planned or spontaneous? any kinky fun? i took a break for eating and the food was so good i forgot about the orgy. Taco Bell.

2. have you had simultaneous sex with two or more in a private residence? know them well or a setup casj encounter? this begs the question: is the Playboy Mansion grotto private or public?

sometimes i forget to plug it in before i leave my meditation chamber. my cyberbrain's been scattered lately.

4. have you ever fantasized about or practiced orgasm control/denial? it's called edging. but you can only do it if you're edgy. only Chris Rock can do it, only Lenny Bruce, Steven Wright, Bill Hicks, and Hannibal Buress. Jim Gaffigan can't do it................................................................................Jim Gaffigan can only do it with a hot pocket.

5. do you like to be called dirty names during sex? what names get you off the best? you dirty bird, you pulchritudinous phoenix, your plumage is so pretty, so hot, i wanna feed you my worms, burn baby burn

BONUS: the confessional is open---confess anything you want, sexual or not: i do want to get something off my chest. all this butter.

King Missile! That never gets old. And Jim Gaffigan's Hot Pocket bit is one of Jill's favorite comedy routines. Next time we have sex I might say "Hot Pocket" at the moment of climax. Or possibly "Caliente Pocket".

NUMBERS CONTINUE FOREVER...

I AM YOU

a straight, single man struggling each and every second with debilitating, crippling depression. for all intents and purposes a shut-in trying to glean meaning in such a state, a wordsmith who squanders his gifts on messageboards and chat rooms. please be my friend. please? email me anytime, anywhere, about anything............................................i'm always available...