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Forgiveness. Easy to say yet more difficult to actually achieve. Why is forgiveness so hard?

I’m into my third decade as a pastor now. Over the years I have met people—good people who know the Lord—yet they have no problem telling me there is someone they know, someone with whom they have had a relationship in the past and now, because of something they did, they said, or they caused and now they cannot forgive them, ever.

There is a huge difference between what we know and how we feel, our responses to circumstances. What we know is what is reality. Does reality change? It certainly does. Yet the changes to reality are much slower and more deliberate. Interestingly, the root of “reality” is “real.”

So, does this mean that what we “feel” should be automatically discounted and disparaged? Not at all. Feelings are always a response; a response to people, to circumstances and even to thoughts—ours mostly. Unfortunately, feelings are ephemeral, they change, have no solidity (or reality) and how we “feel” often soon changes as soon as the pizza we have eaten is digested.

I am not surprised when those who do not have a relationship with God through Christ do not forgive. People who are lost or pagan have not been “recreated” as Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17. They are acting according to their created order; they are not less than believers because believers were once just like them.

Yet believers in Christ are to look like Christ and act like Him! Paul makes it very clear that “those whom He [God] foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son” (Romans 8:29, ESV). What God foreknows and predestined is reality; it is what is real.

Of course, those who are more attentive and observant immediately realize there are many people who profess Christ as their Lord and yet they do not either “look” or “act” like Christ. How can this be if the reality is that God has made us to look like Christ?

The same God who made us to look like His Son also gave those He made this way true freedom and will. Those who do not forgive have made the choice to purposely disobey and to not forgive!

Paul in Colossians 3:13 commands, “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.” Paul informs the Ephesians in Ephesians 4:32 that forgiveness is a mark, is actually evidence that we are actually saved. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

In Luke 6:37-38 is perhaps one of the most often misunderstood, misapplied and misquoted verses in all of the New Testament. There Jesus lays out three parallel concepts which make it crystal clear how God applies justice in this world: “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven…For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

People who are judgmental will themselves face judgment. People who are constantly condemning, will themselves face condemnation. People who forgive will find forgiveness. The way we act and live will be the “measure,” the means by which our lives will be measured and judged by God.

Oh, and try not to oh-so-quickly state, “Hey, this has nothing to do with salvation!” You are correct; it does not. Yet this does apply to our eternal reward as believers! I know some people who tell me how much they love Jesus, how long they have been in church and all they do for people, yet they are often cranky, mean-spirited, angry and demonstrate very little of Jesus in their life. God will make sure they are rewarded accordingly.

There are people who have literally lost brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers and other family because of the actions of an individual. I’ve heard them tell me they “will never forgive that person.” The longer I know the Lord, the more I understand they are destroying their rewards and robbing themselves of blessings in the here and now.

Who do we think we are as believers when we make such statements? God’s One and Only Son paid for our sin, and then the Father because of that payment has forgiven us. Do we actually think we are “bigger” or more important than God? I’ve actually had people say, “God has blessed me the way I am.” Okay, but how much more could he have blessed you if you were obedient to Him?

In my life, Me, Myself and I are the most self-centered, often evil and selfish persons I know; I know them because I am them! As I age, and as I mature in my relationship with Christ, I am more and more amazed that God the Father has forgiven me and especially Jesus Christ has also forgiven me. Especially Jesus; as my Advocate, He knows all of my Issues whereas the Father only sees Jesus!

While some of you make think that’s great, far fewer may think it’s cool and perhaps many of you may think I only work one day a week, I can boil the most visible part of my job (the teaching part) down to a very simple parallel: I’m a mailman.

Me, the Pastor-dude!

Now unlike the guy who drops off your mail at your home or business, I read your mail; I read it for my information and I in turn read it to you. I have even gone to school to learn how to read your mail properly and accurately! I have become an expert in reading your mail because the mail of yours which God has sent to you was originally written in Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek! I guess I am an expert at reading God’s mail addressed to people!

Now since it is the Bible which identifies what sin is (at the behest and will of God) I am bound by my relationship with God through Jesus Christ the Son to deliver His Word (His mail, if you will) truthfully. For me to not tell you what His Word identifies as sin would lack integrity and love. It lacks integrity because I am purposely and willfully hiding the Truth of God from those who want and need to hear what God says. It lacks love because I do not really love you if I won’t tell you what God says.

The Bible says divorce, lying, cheating, murder and overeating (among others) are all sin. It also says homosexuality, abortion and same-sex sexual relationships of all kinds are also sin. All of these actions (and I have not listed them all) are all sin and God views them all equally as rebellion against Him.

Remember, I’m the mailman!

Do I believe these things are sin? Yes I do. I also believe the Bible when it says, “All have sinned and missed God’s intended target of perfection (sinlessness).” Even in the Jewish Old Testament (the first part of the Holy Bible) a prophet many hundreds of years before Jesus stated, “There aren’t any righteous people anywhere; everyone has sinned.” This means every single person is guilty and there isn’t a single human anywhere who isn’t guilty of sin—we are all equally guilty!

This means when I identify a particular act as sin, I must do so knowing there isn’t any sin the Bible identifies which would be beyond my ability to do. I am capable, under the right circumstances and the right temptations to engage in overeating, divorce, homosexuality and lying. True, some things are fairly easy to do while others may take much more motivation, but I am capable of any and all sin.

So this is where I am: I’m a full-blooded human with all of the capabilities and predilection to commit sin. I am also a pastor; I am fulfilling God’s design and plan for me through ministering to people and teaching them about God’s Word and the good news of His Son. My role often means I put on my “Captain Obvious” cape and identify as I teach the Bible what the Bible calls sin.

Yet this is the important part: I must do so without personally judging anyone in the process. If it wasn’t for God’s grace and His power in my life (it’s all God and Jesus!) I could be caught up in the same things the Bible states is sin. If I am who I claim (a pastor and a believer in Jesus Christ) then there should be evidence of my claim. If I live like there is no evidence of who I claim to be, at best I am a liar and at worst I am severely deluded!

Why is any of this important? Because as I live my life, I am to make Jesus real in an unreal world! This world is unfair, unjust, cruel, brutal, out-of-control and often incredibly stressful. Believers (those with a relationship to God the Father through Jesus Christ the Son) must hold their faith and their testimony to others carefully and gently. We must desire to have every part of our lives testify and proclaim who Jesus is in our life.

This also means we must understand even in our obedience to God’s Word and His Son we must allow those who do not believe as we do see the love of God in our life. Will this remove all of the misunderstanding and hatred we may face because of our desire to be obedient?

Unfortunately it will not; just as there will be those who will absolutely hate my identification of what some people are doing as sin even in this blog, I have to remember it really isn’t about me. I am to obey and sometimes in the process of obedience, I will become a target of opportunity by those who dislike what the Bible (and me in this context) says.

Yet they better see God’s love in everything I do. Otherwise, I am in danger of being judged by the same God I claim to be serving!

Writing a blog is a labor of love; though going through and dealing with the spam is more often just like labor!

It is humbling when I read the comments many have taken the time to make on this site. The vast majority are exceptionally encouraging, the ones not in the “vast majority” fall under the headings of either “spam” or they are just annoying . . . .

First, let me get the “business” part of this post out of the way!

Writing is a difficult task!

I am writing using WordPress as my blogging platform. I have received nothing less than excellent support and help from the WordPress staff. They have sent me not just the answers to my immediate questions, but they have also included helpful hints on site management and dealing with the dreaded scourge called “spam!” I have yet to figure out a way to minimize the amount of spam which accumulates in my spam filter. Unfortunately, there are far too many legitimate and good comments which may often get thrown out with the spam.

I pay a very nominal fee for a custom URL (“jimgrieme.com”). If my web traffic continues to increase, I may invest in their “Premium” services which add to the cost, but the value is worth the expense. There are other blogging platforms available, yet since I am very pleased with the service and flexibility I receive from WordPress, I am not motivated to look for another service.

Second, to those of you who take the time to read my posts: I have been getting a significant number of Polish readers and allow me to say (using Google translate here; I’m good but not that good!)

In my world, I must struggle to find time to write. Many times I will begin with an idea, write as many as two or three pages then end up deleting all I have written! Yet even when I follow this process, I may end up enunciating an idea which will eventually become the main idea of what I finally write. The very act of putting “words on paper” often allows me to solidify my “final” idea!

Now remember, I am a pastor (No, no, I really am a pastor! I realize very well I do not “act” like most pastors act and I’m good with that!) When someone says to me, “You’re not like most pastors!” I interpret this as a compliment! My desire is not to be either crude or rude or even to act like some “unholy teenager with an attitude problem!” My desire is to be real! I struggle with the same things every other person struggles with: money, politics, thoughts and ideas. I sin, I do not break into a Christian hymn when I hit my finger with a hammer and I get frustrated at the number of proverbial “morons” I encounter while driving!

I really am a pastor!

So what’s the difference? Years ago I encountered a person who has demonstrated He truly loves me. He knows all of my weaknesses and my issues. He has given me the ability to be better than who I am. He has forgiven me, changed me, and if there is anything good in me at all, it is because of the person Jesus Christ!

My desire is to write in a manner which is real and fully human. I would like those who take the time to read to actually enjoy yourself and understand the ideas I am communicating. It is my prayer the Lord will use who I am and what I’ve written in such a way as to draw people to Him.