Foreign Invasion

Thanks to every single one of you who congratulated me, or cried happy tears on my behalf, or said a prayer, or jumped up and down in excitement. I appreciate it all more than you know.

Secondly, to my friends who are still trying… I love you. I know where you are right now, and I know the feeling of being happy for a fellow IF-er to leave the fold, but still feeling sad for being left behind.

I was left behind so many times.

Just because I’m here now, does not guarantee me a Take Home Baby, and one thing I want to make perfectly clear is this:

Once you are a member of this Harem of Infertiles, you are in for Life.

We don’t turn our backs on our own just because our girl-parts start miraculously working, and we don’t stop having feelings of loneliness when others don’t understand what we’ve been through. We still need each other, and those of us who have managed to conceive are not in any way above those who are still struggling.

There. That’s out. 🙂

Now to get back to what everyone is used to, let’s talk about my junk.

I’m pregnant.

Sometimes I just need to say it to believe it. Kind of like right after you get married and you introduce everyone to your husband, and you sort of giggle a little because it’s all so new and a bit unbelievable.

It’s early, and we have told a few people. The family, and some people close to us, and of course my friends, the readers of this blog. My coworkers also know, mostly because they were here when I got the call, and it’s not like you can hide that kind of news from people you spend more time with than your own spouse.

Everyone is happy. I know that there are a few who are nervous for us, mostly because this is so new and it’s so early and so many things can happen.

I know. I’m there too.

Alternately, I’m also giddy that this happened, terrified about the future, and just plain overwhelmed with the whole thing.

The thing where I have a freaking person growing inside of me.

Right. That.

I just want to see this little critter. I want it to have a heartbeat, and I want to see it and hear it and know that at least for now, things are okay.

I have to wait until September 5th for that particular experience, however.

I did manage to wrangle an appointment with my OB for a week from today, but that will mainly be blood work and peeing in cups and the usual. No dildocam, sadly.

People have been asking how I’m feeling…

Like, ALL THE TIME.

I get it. They expect me to be all vomitty and fat.

Well, I’m not.

…Yet.

As far as early pregnancy symptoms, I really didn’t have ANY before the second beta came back.

All I have going on now is occasional frequent urination, a lovely bit of loosening bowels (ew), gigantic, pulsating ta-tas that HURT, and the ravenous urge now and then to consume an entire herd of cattle.

There’s also this tight-feeling abs thing. I mean, I don’t have a six-pack or anything, but my whole midsection feels like I did six thousand sit-ups.

I’ve also suddenly become a moron. It’s like I can’t string words together, can’t remember where the milk is at the grocery store, and the other day I forgot how to get home. I hope this is temporary, but some people have told me that it’s not… Great.

So, as of now, not a whole lot to update. I can tell you that I’m thrilled, and so is the husband, and we can’t wait to announce this to more people. We would like to wait until after we see Gummi Bear’s heartbeat though, so we have a couple more weeks to wait.

Random things to smile about:
#1-we both switch weeks on Fridays! You are 4+4 and I am 16+4! Don’t know why that amuses me but it does
#2- I feel ya on people asking you how you are. It’s sweet but gets old. But do try to enjoy it. I keep thinking how nice it is to be noticed. When people know you’re going through a rough time but even though they care, they usually don’t know what to say. But now that they get to be happy for you, they have something to say. Its funny how awkward people get but it’s still nice to get positive attention for once, I think.
#3- you’re right about it still being early for symptoms but sore bbs are a good thing! Also, it has been my experience that old wives tales are crap, BUT I read in What To Expect this week that more forgetfulness = girl!

I am so excited for your gummy bear! YOU HAVE A PERSON INSIDE YOU! Love it 🙂

Oh yes! I like that we both switch weeks on Fridays! You’re not the only one – I find that amusing as well. 😉

When people ask me how I feel, I just feel like I should have something to talk about. Right now, I feel fine. Maybe I should carry around an airline barf-bag and try to put on a show when they ask, lol.

That’s funny about What To Expect! I downloaded it for the Kindle last night. 🙂 And seriously, if I had to go on the record right this very second, I would say that I am having a girl. The forgetfulness thing is kind of just the icing on the cake, lol.

You will figure out something witty to say. In the beginning, I used to say “Fine for now!” then when I got sick, I told them, then when they asked, I was honest and told them I was good, bad, or just ok.

Also, I have mixed feelings about What To Expect. It’s obviously a great book, but I skip over a lot of parts because they get a little too technical. A friend recommended to me “The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy” and I loved that even more. If you find WTE on the dry side, give the other one a try.

Oh honey, you sound so pregnant! Almost exactly a year ago I was where you are now, pregnant but cautious, so I know exactly how you feel. It seems unbelievable, I know, but sometimes you just ARE pregnant, it happens, it’s magnificent and it’s happening to you!!!

Enjoy it sweetheart, you’ve earnt it. Oh and FWIW I didn’t get preggo brain (until pregsomnia and sleep deprivation kicked in) and I had a boy so maybe k.smitty is right 🙂

Frequent urination? Loose stool? Large, hard ta-tas? Starving? People asking you every 5 minutes how you’re feeling? Yup, you are PREGNANT!! Most symptoms (if you end up having any) start to show up between 7 and 8 weeks. At least that’s what I’ve read and that’s what happened to me. So happy for you and I hope things continue to go well for you!

This Is My Deal...

I'm Tracy. I'm a thirty-something, happily married miscarriage survivor, who tried just about everything possible to conceive for over five years, is currently parenting our miracle baby girl, and blogging about the hilarity of it all.

Join me, won't you?

2013 Hope Award Winner

I am so honored to have received RESOLVE's 2013 Hope Award for Best Blog!

A safe space where I discuss the racing thoughts in my head, personal struggles, and day-to-day activities while struggling with mental health and mood disorder issues. My personal goal is to reduce the stigma that comes with mental health and mood disorders, by talking more about it.