May 2014

December 31, 2007

...And what a year it was. Probably the foggiest, busiest, certainly the saddest year of my life. In ways, I am glad to see 2007 behind me. In other ways, I would love to cling to parts of it, and never let them go. But, time does go on, and as they say, waits for no man (or woman).

Our holiday season this year was as good as it could be, and being with family was wonderful. I think everyone just kind of "stepped around" the hole that was there, with Roger's absence. It was the first time in 5 years that I have been home for Christmas, so it was good to spend it with all of the extended family. And, since my folks now live just down the road from Roger's dad, it was easy to make the rounds. We ended up seeing almost everyone, although a few cousins got missed. Roger's grandpa is still in the nursing home, and I don't believe he really knew us this time. My dad has been having some health problems, as well, and will be seeing the doctors this week. And as if that weren't enough, I spent the first minutes of Christmas Eve going into the ER in Arkansas, with a kidney stone. Chelsea drove us home later in the day. I also will be seeing a doctor this week. One good thing about that, though, is that it sort of took my mind off of other things (and the drugs they gave me weren't too bad, either!).

December 10, 2007

It has been a strange holiday season, to say the least. My feelings are pretty mixed on this one. Frankly, I would just as soon wake up and find that it's January already, but I know that won't happen. I still can appreciate the wonder of the REASON for the season, but the timing of it is lost on me this year. It took me a while to even be able to listen to Christmas music without tearing up, or to go into a store and not feel sorrow at seeing the decorations.

If you know me at all, you would know that Christmas has always been a very big deal at the Bennett house. To use a phrase of Roger's (as only he could put it), it always "looked like Christmas threw up at our house" (I told you, only he would put it that way!)....there were multiple trees up, and decorations of all sorts everywhere. Even in Houston, I always decorated and had a tree. This year, though, I just could not bring myself to do it. No decorations, not even a tree. I asked Chelsea and Jordan if they could handle that, and they were of the same mind. It's not that I think Christmas left because Roger did, it's just too close yet to be able to celebrate in the same way. So, this year, we are heading to Arkansas the weekend before Christmas to be with extended families there, and coming back to TN on Christmas Eve to spend a quiet time here.

What I'm Reading Right Now

Ron Mehl: What God Whispers in the NightRon Mehl is a hero that I never met. A friend gave me this book a couple of years ago and it really touched me. Ron was suffering with Leukemia and had written several wonderful books before this one "Whispers" really got to me. The main thought is why is it that God who IS light, who created light, does so much of his work in the dark? The answer, because that's where WE are. We struggle in darkness, our weakness is more pronounced in the darkness and we feel so alone in our darkness. But....God is not intimidated by the dark! He invades it and speaks to us there!
You should read this book asap. (*****)