Hello Mr. jenkees, my name is christian, I am an experienced producer, director, and cinematographer. I am contacting you for permission to use your piece "stay crunchy" in an up coming film of mine. the film will be starting the first stages of post production April 23-29, 2014.
I look forward to hearing back from you. Thank you for your greatly appreciated time.

I've been listening to your music ever since I heard your "Guitar Sound" video you put on YouTube years ago. I've been hooked on your music ever since and you always come out with better and better stuff each year.

If you would like to talk.. I work for a professional soccer team and I would be honored if you could produce us a song we can use for promotion. Your name would be all over it, too.

I took the liberty of transposing "Lee Van Cleef", a song that is an ode to the greatest spaghetti western villain that ever lived (by Primus) to more accurately reflect my taste in both music and humanity:

Ronald Jenkees

Got a badge, a red rider at rocket camp
Out at Nohack Peak
Lookin' for jailbirds left an' right
Tryna' knock 'em up out the trees

Errybody i know's watching Clint
We all like watching Clint
(Hi Hi Hi Hiiii)
All the lil' snaps wanna be like Clint
They all wanna be like Clint
But i wanna be like Ronald Jenkees
You know i wanna be like Ron
Whatever happened to Ronald Jenkees?
Whatever Happened to Ron?

A yellow Studebecker with a 302
I see the green naugahyde
put a couple a' dinks in that pickup truck
a few more dents in his pride

At Hilltop Drive-In there watchin' Clint
They all like watchin' Clint
(Hi Hi Hi Hiiii)
All the babies scream they wanna see Ol' Clint
They all wanna see Ol' Clint
But i wanna see Ronald Jenkees
You know i wanna see Ol' Ron
Whatever happened to Ronald Jenkees?
Whatever Happened to Ron?

Now the Studebecker's gone that Ron passed on
Clint's still sharp as all beyond
Hilltop Drive-In is an Auto Mall
But no-one's built over Ron

Don't know if you've heard this song by Primus. Someone turned me onto it a couple days ago. I has one of the nastiest bass grooves I've ever heard.

Look up "Lee Van Cleef by Primus on the Jimmy Fallon show" when just absolutely, positively have to get that groove thing goin' on.