62

82

64.5

67.7

69.4

.458

.438

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

54

90

58.2

53.8

54.7

.383

.364

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Jose Fernandez homered and Braves third baseman Chris Johnson got angry because Fernandez watched, but the Marlins got the last laugh because they’re in last place and no, wait, that’s not why.

19

85

60

81.1

84.4

82.4

.574

.554

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If Brian Wilson pitches long enough he will become the first person to A) eat a live ball on the field, B) eat a live person on the field, C) B again

20

50

96

54.4

48.1

50.6

.348

.366

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If I'm doing this right, last night's sweep of the Mariners was only the Astros' second sweep.

21

67

80

71.2

70.1

66.9

.468

.448

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

A cool nickname for the top three in the Rockies lineup, Blackmon, Rutledge, and Dickerson would be the Continental Congress.

22

89

58

90.4

89.7

89.1

.609

.628

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.4%

What is it about men with fish names that they’re good at baseball?

23

58

87

62.1

61.0

61.0

.418

.437

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Adam Dunn: four at-bats, four strikeouts. Perfection!

24

62

83

66.9

69.7

69.7

.463

.443

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Anthony Rizzo struck out three times and walked because he doesn’t believe in the third true outcome. “Home runs? Sure,” he said after the game. “Show me a Sasquatch and I’ll show you a fly ball go over the fence.” He laughed.

25

73

72

71.8

69.8

69.8

.490

.470

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.6%

Returning from a road-trip, how many times do you think one of the flight attendants mutters to himself, “I have had it with these mother*ucking snakes on this mother*ucking plane!"?

26

83

64

84.7

86.2

86.6

.579

.560

10.8%

87.7%

98.5%

-0.1%

0.5%

There's something fitting about J.J. Hoover coming in to clean up after Mike Leake.

27

78

66

75.5

84.1

84.7

.560

.579

0.0%

62.8%

62.8%

-0.7%

-16.2%

All it took was one first-pitch extra-inning pinch-hit grand slam and Roberto Hernandez went back to Fausto Carmona.

Well, this is great. The Astros have inflicted all this misery on their fans and the world with their Triple AAA major league roster, and now they're trying to blow getting the No. 1 overall pick for next year's draft.