Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hard Times: Is Preciousness Over?

Last week on this blog, there was much discussion in the comments regarding the subject of h-e-l-m-e-t-s. (So as not to start another debate, please note I'm spelling out the "h" word as you might spell out the word "walk" when your dog's in the room.) This is ironic. While we cyclists bicker over h-e-l-m-e-t-s incessantly, most American non-cyclists think we're crazy to ride bicycles no matter how much safety equipment we use. In fact, even driving an economy car is still widely regarded as suicidal in this country. I was reading an article in the New York Times this past weekend about fuel efficiency standards, and one commenter had this to say:

While it might be technically feasible to do this how many extra deaths will we get as a result of the smaller lighter cars? I read that for every 5 mpg increase there will be 3,500 extra deaths each year. So that means something like 17,500 folks will die each year to avoid extracting a little more oil out of the ground. With our current death rate on the highways of 42,000 that is about a third increase. No thanks, I'll keep driving my big old mean SUV.

Nevertheless, the rolling bunker mentality is still a pervasive (and politically influential) one. For this reason, even though bicycle commuting is on the rise all over the country, as cyclists we remain vulnerable. We're like mammals in the waning days of the dinosaurs: far more adaptable and with much better long-term prospects, yet in the meantime still in imminent danger of being squashed.

You'd imagine that at some point Americans would wake up to the fact that they're being sold a very expensive illusion of safety that is in fact killing them and opt for practicality and efficiency over sheer size, but until that day there's nothing illusory about city streets filled with light-running SUVs driven by a gentry who are more or less free to maim with impunity. And when it comes to cycling for transportation, the fact that your safety--indeed your very life--is not a consideration is what you might call a "barrier to entry."

We all approach this barrier differently depending on our dispositions. Some of us hop it as adroitly as a cyclocross racer and ride undaunted. Others step over it with considerable trepidation, riding only occasionally or strictly for recreation. Still others simply go around it by opting for other modes of transport. And of course millions of people buy gigantic "safe" automobiles and just drive through the fucking thing while jockeying their smartphones, with two or three cyclists pinned to their bumpers.

But while a h-e-l-m-e-t may help some New Yorkers approach this barrier with a bit more confidence, guess what's not helping? Expensive pretty stuff:

It took a few years, but it would appear that people are finally coming to terms with the fact that New York is not in fact Copenhagen or Amsterdam, and that beneath the veneer of gentrification it's still an indifferent hellhole. You've got to hand it to them, though--they really tried to maintain the illusion for a few years. Remember those articles about "cycle biker chic?" Remember when we were all going to be riding Dutch Bikes?

That was cute.

Then it turned out that in New York City $1,000 commuter bikes still get stolen, cops still hate you, and drivers don't care how faaahbulous you look because they don't see you in the first place.

Of course, the "hook" of this article is that it's women who are finding all this discouraging, but to spin it that way is to ignore the fact that we all suffer regardless of genitalway. Who among us--male, female, or "other"--can't relate to at least part of this?

And if the experiences of Lisa Buonaiuto are any indication, the safety concerns are still legitimate. She started cycling three years ago, taking her bicycle from the Metro-North station on 125th Street in Harlem to her job at Barnard College. In that time, she has been nearly hit by a bus, ticketed for riding on an empty sidewalk on Amsterdam Avenue when she felt overwhelmed by the trucks and endured shouts from “daredevil” messengers. Now she travels along side streets, avoids Broadway and on a recent afternoon took the Hudson River Greenway to a hair appointment downtown.

For my part, I've actually solved the hair appointment problem by riding in curlers. Not only do I save time by styling while on the go, but the curlers themselves offer protection and make a fantastic helmet substitute:

(New York City Cycle Chic 2.0)

I'd like things to improve for all of us, but in the meantime the h-e-l-m-e-t remains a symbol that we're under attack, and the expensive pretty stuff a symbol of a somewhat rarefied ideal. Speaking of rarefied ideals, these are also the hallmarks of that other incendiary "h" word, by which I mean h-i-p-s-t-e-r-s. They too tend to live in denial when it comes to certain realities of urban living--and when they're inevitably forced to confront them it always seems to make the news:

In an age when some of New York City's roughest areas have been "tamed," it's only natural that the young and creative should feel as though they have something of a "Midas Touch" when it comes to neighborhoods. As it turns out, that's not the case, for when a "psychedelic punk-rap" band rented a cheap apartment in Bedford-Stuyvesant recently they were immediately robbed:

“This is not the kind of neighborhood people like us move into,” said Zayd Brewer, known to friends as Spaceman, the 19-year-old lead singer of the band. “Call it naïveté or whatever. ‘We can defend ourselves.’ ”

The story of what happened in that apartment on a corner of Bedford-Stuyvesant on the morning of June 13 is a cautionary tale about too-good-to-be-true dwellings in unfamiliar neighborhoods, and a reminder that not all of Brooklyn is a red carpet for the young and aspiring.

Indeed, what follows is more than just a cautionary tale. In fact, it's perhaps the most harrowing h-i-p-s-t-e-r gentrification-gone-awry tale ever told, and the Medal of Valor goes to bandmate Andrew Downs, who presumably cowered under his car while the "shit went down:"

Mr. Downs was outside: he had gone to move his car before morning. He was returning when he saw “a whole bunch of dudes overrunning the house,” he said. He hid and feared the worst for his friends: “I thought they were all dead.”

None of this bodes well for the tide of gentrification, which is clearly ebbing:

They revisited the apartment on Tuesday to clean it up, as the landlord threatened to keep their security deposit, 300 bucks they badly needed. There was blood on the floor and fingerprint dust on every doorknob. They are looking for new digs, undeterred. Maybe Bushwick.

That is one ballsy landlord.

Anyway, the time-honored pattern is that artists move into a rough neighborhood for the cheap rents, put up with a huge amount of crap, and eventually shore it up so that rich douchebags can move in and displace everybody. Now though, even the first wave is simply saying "fuck it" after a few days, which is either good news or bad news, depending on how you view gentrification in the first place. This may also be something of a generational shift, especially when you consider that the band itself is actually bragging about it:

I remember when rappers used to brag about robbing people. Now they're bragging about getting robbed. What's next, Christian death metal?

"Then it turned out that in New York City $1,000 commuter bikes still get stolen, cops still hate you, and drivers don't care how faaahbulous you look because they don't see you in the first place."BrilliantI ride so I can be hated. but the other two don't matter to me.

Welcome back, Snob!On ride in this morning, pulled up at a red light behind a black Mercedes and watched as it ran the red, made a left through the pedestrian crosswalk and pulled into a parking garage. Could this be a Chicago sighting of Martin Erzinger?

I hate bike thieves as much as the next guy, but I say bravo to these two fellows. They are obviously providing a much needed service to clear the streets of posers (or at least give them very expensive lessons). If you can't even figure out how to secure your new bike when you leave it to go 'a drinkin' then the "bike police" come and take it away for you. I see nothing wrong there.

Even when they need to go somewhere, they don't want to leave the fucking couch. Gotta have a phone, a TV, stereo, plush seating, headrest, etc. Having to make the slight effort to avoid a cyclist or god-forbid actually expend the 6 calories of energy it takes to park in an open space rather than in the middle of the god damn street is NOT LIKE IT IS IN MY LIVING ROOM!

@xyxax,That's the crazy part. The thing that really pisses motorists off about cyclists is having to notice them. Yeah the fractional seconds of delay is bad, but what they really hate is having to see me in the 1st place, like I was riding through their living room.

So you know how they make those helmets with watermelons painted on them? If they had one with curlers painted all over it, I would totally buy it and wear it on my daily commute! Especially because I am bald!!! Can any of you h-i-p-s-t-e-r-s photoshop what that would look like? HA!

If anything, that NY Daily News article illustrates how Americans, and indeed the Free World, need cars BIGGER than SUVs.Having an SUV and feeling safe is part of the OLD pre-9/11 mindset.In these times of new prosperity we need a new class of vehicle that provides confort, premium in car entertainment and safety. Enter the AUV (Apocalyptic Utility Vehicle).The future, bitches.

"Sports utility vehicle accident statistics show that SUVs are three times more likely to rollover in a single vehicle accident than any other car on the road. Of all vehicle accidents, rollover crashes are among the most fatal. Sports utility vehicle accident statistics comprise only three percent of the total number of accidents, yet three times that number of SUVs is involved in fatal rollover accidents. Sixty three percent of all SUV deaths and 46 percent of all SUV injuries are the result of rollover every year."

And then of course in some cases you need to add that feeling of invincibility:

Oh, stage 4 is totally there. In fact, I'm currently contemplating Bicycling's offer of 2 "Risk-Free" trial issues. The main reason I've avoided reading Bicycling Magazine is the risk of paper cuts and of leaving the magazine on a hot stove top, causing a fire. "Risk-Free" is for me.

you may be interested in these two articles from pseudo-America where helmets are law:Dear CycleChic. Does my head look fat in this helmet?http://www.sydneycyclist.com/forum/topics/dear-cyclechic-does-my-head

ER doc here wrote in an editorial some time back that the SUVers have it all wrong--THEY are driving the death trap. He said we should all just imagine how much safer our lives would be if everyone would drive smaller, more sensible cars.

Yes, he was put in the stocks on the public plaza the next day for daring to utter such heresy.

I bought my wife a bicycle from Adeline Adeline. They were the only shop carrying the brand/model my wife wanted that didn't say "Call me back in a month and see if I have any then." Instead, she said, "I'll get you one. Is next week okay?" It was and they did. Good business.

Helmet hair is a big concern in our house though. Otherwise my wife would ride to work. That I cannot tell the difference between regular hair and helmet hair is a definite personal defect on my part and claiming in my defense the blindness of love only makes it worse.

Air today is horrible. Central Park was like breathing through a flannel shirt. And that's the weather for today....

current population of england is 51.5 million whilst american soil supports 300 million...rounding the ratio - that's approx. 6 to 1. i find it hard to believe that the population of a small european monarchy produces more shit than the country that spawned the concept of supersize fastfood portions.

Cheer up, Mr. Snob, you could live in LA... As the city's mayor offered suggestions for dealing with unusually high road congestion expected this weekend: riding a bike comes in third after walking (well, okay!) and 'going on vacation'.

If you are stupid enough to lock your bike by the seatpost, you deserve your fate if someone then takes your bike. And the former owner's righteous indignation should bring only scorn. It's like dropping a $20 bill on the ground and then screaming "stop thief" when someone picks it up.

This post is awesome. You are awesome. Your book is awesome. That picture of those assholes stealing that bicycle made me cry though. I know the owner locked it up in a dumb way but I hope the guys who stole the bike (who hardly look poverty-stricken) well I hope their nuts drop off and squirrels eat them.

Snob - You remind me how nice it is to live in Iowa City where motorists are JUST as likely to NOT notice a cyclist... But as farmers pass you when you're grinding gravel, they usually give a wave and slow down to cut the dust. If NYC is the place to be, please stay there and give me uncrowded rolling plains. I can experience the artistic hotbeds of big cities through travel and the internet. Being considerate of others holds a small place in humanity.

I've smashed two bonce buckets in crashes in the last 9 months. Once when a squirrel jumped me and jammed my front wheel (and smashed my colar bone). And once in Madison racing. In the first I've little doubt that I'd be dead or very badly hurt without the lid. In the second I'd probably have lived but I wouldn't have been back at the track in two days. Life is full of risks. What y' gonna do? Drive a car instead?

Snob, you are kind of awesome, and a real insensitive douchebag at the same time.

It is OK for the Times to "blame the victim" when it is a bunch of kids getting ripped off in Bed-Sty, but it is not ok for the Daily News to "blame the victim" when a yuppie takes a left turn onto Canal St. from the right side of Broadway, gets hit by a car, and goes to the hospital in a coma that may have been just a concussion if he had a helmet on.

No doubt, people get hit by cars all the time, regardless of their helmet wearing. But fuck man, people get robbed and murdered in Bed-Sty regardless of whether they are gentrifying hipsters or not. These are all cautionary tales. Living in the Big City is dangerous.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!