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Now in my son's crew, there is only one couple, so the other kids enforce this just fine. They also don't have that much respect for the one member of the couple so they don't give him much slack. And the parent of the girl in question is one of the advisors, and has explained to the boys in rather clear terms what he might be moved to do if he felt his daughter's reputation or um, you know, were in doubt as a result of any of their actions. Since the boys like him but are a little bit afraid of him (not without reason), this seems to have the desired effect!

Seriously, I'd just tell them what you wrote - you aren't running a getaway weekend for amorous couples! A little humor and some healthy fear are a wonderful combination.

Comment

1) Prior to the commencement of any Crew activity all reproductive organs, including but not limited to external genitalia, belonging to Crew members will be collected by authorized adult leaders and kept under proper refrigeration until the conclusion of said activity.

2) Section 1 of this policy may be waived if crew members conduct themselves as if Section 1 had been enforced.

Comment

They (our youth) have also adopted a small set of bylaws. In total we have eight rules, only one line about PDA. All of our bylaws will fit half a page. (If I wrote it, the bylaws may have been a dozen pages long.) Subsequent years, I send out the Crew bylaws adopted in 2005, and ask the crew and officers "Do you like it? or Do you want to change anything?" The usual reply is "no, it is short & sweet and adequate".

My Crew and Crew Officers don't want any more rules or any less rules. The rule about PDA simply states "All crew members will refrain from public displays of affection (PDA)."

Now that being said. We know we will have Venturers that have g/f - b/f from school, church, sports and neighborhoods. Some will join our Crew already in a relationship, some will meet in our Crew. We explain to them what PDA is. How it could make others feel uncomfortable. And let them know, they may restrain for 1 hour a week, and even may restrain for a weekend. After discussing expectations and stating its not just an "uncool parent thing" but they are hearing it from a parent stating the uncomfortable feeling comes from all Venturers parents and youth. We've never had a Venturing (g/f-b/f) state they cannot restrain themselves for 48 hours. And for recent years, we have not had a problem with PDA.

Unfortunately, we have gone to larger Venturing events. Where my Crew was well behaved, but other Crews and leaders have a nonchalant attitude about PDA. Not all leaders have this passive attitude. But it is akward, when taking a break from an educational game and two other Venturing youth from another Crew commences the PDA. All I can offer to my guys is, "You guys are great, you guys are role models, and our couples are much more mature. So just ignore them."

We have rarely had emotional drama which started during school hours, which has ended with one Venturer politely quitting. But we also have one couple of past Venturers that have been married for about five years now.

As an alternative. I have another Venturing colleague whose Crew has never created their own bylaws. So as Advisor that colleague says. "Boys and Blue, Girls and Green, and there is no Purple in Venturing. Let's keep it that way.". That colleague has been an Advisor for just a couple of years, and has had g/f-b/f relationships in the crew, and has not had PDA become an issue.

My recommendation. Welcome teenage couples. They are going to be together anyways. And let them know your expectations of PDA. Ask them if they can resist for 1 hour a week, or sometimes up to 48 hours on a weekend. If they just cannot resist and keep some sunlight between them; if they think Venturing Crew is another "make-out" spot away from their parents; well then maybe their heart is just not in Venturing, and a Venturing Crew is not the place for them.

Good Luck and hopefully set reasonable boundaries!

Scouting Forever and Venture On!
Crew21 Adv(This message has been edited by Crew21_Adv)

Comment

He is still registered, although hasn't been able to participate because his leave schedule did not coincide with our outings.

She was never a member of the crew (although she came to a couple of day activities). Her dad wouldn't allow it for fear of what might happen between the two of them in the woods with us. Go figure.

I'd have no problem with them tenting together, although I'd warn her that I've been known to applaud from my bunk loudly in response to beautiful performances.

Seriously, I would expect these two to want to bunk with their friends from high school for old times sake, but this is the crew's first married couple, and they aren't both signed up, so for now it's all hypothetical for me.