UW's solar car, the Midnight Sun VII, stops by the glacial Lake Louise, Alberta during its recordbreaking tour of North America.

The University oEWaterloo's solar car
project began in 1989,but2004willbe
forever known as the year Midnight
Sun VII broke official and unofficial
world records on a 40-day tour of
Canada and the United States.
The tour began August 7 with the
goals of setting the world record for
the longest journey by a solar powered car andinfonning the public about
sustainable transportation and renewable resources.
Midnight Sun VII broke the Guinness World Record for longest journey on August 26 in Blythe, California, surpassing the old record of
7,043.5 kilometres set by Queen's University in 2000. They also broke the
unofficial record of13,OS4 kilometres
(held by Australia) on September 13
in Mooers, New York.
"\~Je're having a great time and
everyone is dedicated to the car,"
said Emilie Smith, a crew member
who works on the business team.
"There was a lot of pre-planning.
We had to put the car though some
rigorous testing to make sure it was
safe and finalize things with our
sponsors."
Safety was on everyone's mind
a~ter hearing news of the death of a

University of Toronto solar team
member.
According to U ofT's web site, on
August 12 Andrew Frow, 21, was
driving U of T's solar car when he
veered into on-coming traffic. The
team was traveling between Stratford
and Waterloo and was headed to UW
to partake in the Canadian Solar Tour.
Frow was taken to hospital in
Kitchener and pronounced dead. The
tour was then canceled for this year.
Smith said that when the UW solar
team heard of the news there was hesitation about continuing their own tour
because some members of the team
knew Andrew. UW'ssolarteamopted
out of participating in the Canadian
Solar Tour and instead focused on their
individual goal of setting a new world
record. They decided to continue on
with this individual tour, which they
dedicated to Andrew.
Smith was on the road with the
team for part of the tour. She said
driving through Canada and seeing all
the different landscapes was exciting
but her only regret was not being able
to stop and explore the towns.
The tour wrapped up on September 16 and the team returned to UW,
where a homecoming celebration was
held outside Carl Pollock Hall. Visit
www.midsun.uwaterloo.ca for more
information about the Midnight Sun.

Warriors win rugby Battle of Waterloo in
front of record Black and Gold Day crowd
Adam McGuire
IMPRINT STAFF

The UW men's rugby team has certainly shown their sense of occasion.
In front of arecord crowd of over
1,500 fans, the Warriors topped their
cross-town rivals, Laurier, in a thrilling
19-17 season opener during UW's
annual Black and Gold day on September 11 at North Campus field.
However, the win did not come
easily for the Warriors, who found
themselves behind 10-7 at halftime
before rattling off two straightttiesin
the second half for the victory. Although the UW coaching staff recognizes that the Warriors still need time
to mould as a team, assistant coach
Dan Ingoldsby said the club more
than met expectations.
"We were pleased with the effort,"
Ingoldsby said. "There's obviously
always room for improvement, [but]
I thought our defensive intensity was
excellent."
The Wattiors ignited the lively frash

week crowd early in the firsthalfwhen
UW's Paul Auzins broke through the
right side for the match's first try.
After Adrian Lui added the convert,
the Warriors had jumped to a 7-0 lead.

The visiting Golden Hawks were
relentless, however, as they cattied the
play throughout the first half.,After a
30-yard penalty kick by Laurier fly half
Andrew Ehgoetz put the Golden
Hawks on the board, outside centre
Graham Ball broke through for a try
- which was converted by Ehgoetz

- to make the score 10-7 for the
visitors.
Despite the relatively small stature ofboth clubs the game's physical
tone was also apparent throughout
the first half. Both clubs had a player
sent off to the sin bin within a minute
of each other. The half ended with
both teams down a man.
The Wattiors seemed rejuvenated
after halftime as the Waterloo defensive unit was able to keep the Hawks
at bay throughout the opening moments of the second half. When
Laurier took another yellow card and
a 10-minute stint in the sin bin,
Ingoldsby and head coach Craig Stuart
knew their team had an opportunity
to capitalize on the undermanned
Laurier squad.
"The game is about looking for
gaps," Ingoldsby said. "If they have
one less [player on the field], there are
going to be some gaps for us to
exploit."
See RUGBY, page 26

Two spirited Warriors dress up for Black and Gold Day. For
commenton Frosh activities, see page 15.

I!VI

2

FRllDAY,SEPTE~ER17,2004

Electrical discharges

Whit are youp lh.hIs on UW's
new partdng arPlngements?
IIdDaaMak

5. Braided or plaited hair
10. Nearly everyone
14. Tennyson,' e.e. cummings, or
Dennis Lee
15. Sounds like a tough from Grease
16. No more than
17. A unique person
A Star Trek phaser setting
A leisurely piece of music
Heaving high in the air
Marilyn Monroe's real first name
Where Grampa stores his pipes
I <U'J\LlJlU the house
,
New York filmmaker '
The keg party next door
Female prohoun

t

Key trait ofa Crowncotporation
It took me twenty
mirlUte$ to find a space and I
was late for my first class."
Jeff Anstett
28 political science

"I was 15 minutes late for my
morning class even though I
left my house early."
Mary Gobran
4A economics

.IIIDbII ...: "EIBPJIIi.I ... 18 . . . .
IIIw 18 IW, II1II WIllI 18 118 II1II_ 18111, IIaIPIeII
ill MIl. . . . ."III IIIIIePt . .
3. ''Warm cookies and cold milk
are good for you. _ _ a balanced life. Learn some and think
some and draw and paint and
sing and dance and play and work
every day some."

5. "Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the
_ _ _ cup. The roots go down
and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why,
but we are all like that."

ILEV

PCSITAL

4. ''Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world,
watch for traffic, hold _
and
stick together."

HDNAS

6. "And remember the book
about Dick and Jane and the first
word you learned, the _ _ __
word of all- LOOK"

GIBTEGS

PIAFLYRA

IIIII

Final Quote

"The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
.
Ecology and politics and _ _
These are the things I learned in kindergarten."

FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

EWS

••

lor. betlBr
101l0rrow
--:::- ••UI 4

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca .

Students decryparkin'g changes
New pass. system cre4tes' stress and inconveruence, Feds consider
options for October council meeting

Mark Stratford
IMPRINT STAFF

Universities

up quite early each day," but
added thadotsC, W andX
arealso "cl.osetoclasses·
IMPRINT STAFF
. EDITOR IN CHIEF
for many stu. dents."
.
._
When students retumed to UW this September,
But according
the foundparlcing on campus was'Very different.
to Mackenzie,
Line~upstogetintoparkinglotsanddozeflsofcars
~~ere has alteady
illegallyParked atthe end ofthe rows tellthe story;
beenanincreasein
parkinghasbecomeaheadacheforstudents.
the number of
'.'Parkingservices associates asstiredmethatlpt
spaces. "The overall'
Cmostlikelywouldneverbefullasit'soneofthe
number of parking'
largest ones on campuS. To my surprise as I pulled
spaces for students has
~p to theeJ1~ce oflotC at 11 a.m., I was told that
increased for this term
both lots C and N were full and I [had to] parkin
with N, W and X belot W. I tumedmy car around and rushed over to
ing identified as stu,lot W ... needless to say, I found myself stonning
the best
dent parking," he said.
into my classroom, irritatecI:sweaty and late,"
solution availStudents who arexpWnedJaneEvgueniaMaliouta,a3Bcomputer
able given the currived earlier in the day
.engineering ~tudent.
rent infrastructure
had betterexperiences.
In an ~u........
"'_AH Feds president Becky Wroe exand univem.'ty' b
{J'I1jde~
''Itwasn'ttoo badacJUUAI\I APONG
plained, "althoughParkingServicesessentihllyenlines. ''Without t h e s e t u a l l y , " said lA arts
sured the Federation of Students EXecutive and
changes, many students·
studentPaulPeciak/'I
many ofits·membets that lots C and W would
would not have had the oppornmity to purchase
came here around 8-ish and the lot [q wasn't
usuallyhavevacancies"thatdoesn'tappeartobethea parking permit this Septeniber," said Ai
full"
situation.
MacKenzie,directorofPoliceandParkingSeryi.ces.
. J:ff Henry, Feds vice pres!den,teciucation,
Tom Levesque
laura Katsirdakis

Last month, the UniversityofToronto sent 26
studentdemonsttatorsfrom Toronto to New
.York via bus to join the protest at the RepublicanNational Convention; what's more, they
did so usinga total ofll ,480 in student fees. The .
Students' Administrati~e Council apprQved the
tripbackinJuly,forwhichsixstudentswerefully
funded and 20 others were subsidized $50 each,
footing the rest themselves. While several U of
T students are arguing that the student reps had
no business spending their money on such a
partisan cause, SamRahimi, SAC's vice president
external, justified the decision by saying that the
prospect of another four years of George. W.
Bush's government affects Canadians and thatit
is necessary to "speak orit against injustice wherever it may be found."
Canada

Paul Martin apologized on 'tuesday for
muttering'1esus Christl" into his microphone
at the first ministersconfetence on health, at
whichthel0proviocialleadershadgatheredwith
Martin to devise a 10-year health care system

~'Ii==;;;~r=1;~::. .•.~c;=~=_~~_;~~*~;t~~~~~~L'l':~:e::!=:;fr~c:i~~~~,,'
pattern keeps up, you will see a motion on the
Octoberagendareflectingthis,"Wroesaid, encouragingcouncilmembers to relay student complaints
to her.
Parking Services defends thenewregulations as

inga <gated' and 'ungared' category. we are able to
provide everyone 'with a perminvho requests one
and anticipate beingable to continu~ to do so over
the next fewyears."
Mackenzie accepts thatlotN ''will probably fill

with the new parking system. ''If students Can
think of a way to solve the problem, we (peds]
would be happy to present it."
See PARKED, page 4

At the beginning of the Fall 2004 term, students
from the Caribbe~ have bee"n thinking about
what home is like after the effects of Hurricane
Ivan which devastated parts of the region over
the past week:
.
The UW Ass'aci~tion ofCaribbean Students
(ACS) is spearheading the relief effort on campus. From Septemher20 through September 30,
"the ACS will be running a relief ®ve in the
Student life Centre. Sttldents will be able to drop
off non-perish.!lble food items and necessities
like clothing at the drop-off pomt beside the
Multi-purpose Room facing Brubaker's.
Yasid Gilbert, the president of the ACS, said
that many students were delayed returning to
campus because many of the Caribbean airports
were closed during the storm. He hoped in the
coming days to be in contact with fellow Caribbean students to discover th~ir individual situ.::
ations.
The damage varies from island to island given
the path taken by the storm. ACSvice-president
Arnold Jacob, from the island of Tobago, said
that while trees were knocked over and there was
a lot of flooding in Tobago, the damage was
nowhere as near as what happened in Grenada or
Jamaica. The eye of the hurricane passed directly
over top of Grenada, causing widespread damage to 90per cent of the buildings on the mainly
flat island.
Gilbert, like many Caribbeans abroad, has

spent many hours viewing news reports from
the islands. "Seeing the pictures of Grenada,
you're just shocked. You've been there before
and you know what it's supposed to look like.
It's upsettin,g," he said. Some news sources have
compared the Grenadan devastation to the
equivalent of theyolcanic eruption on the island
ofMontserrat in 1997 that flattened much of the
island.
ACS secretary AflnekeNewman was speaking
to hermotherinJ amaica during the hurricane last
Friday. ''You could hear the hurricane in the
background," she said. While the eye of the
hurricane didn't cross Jamaica, the extensive rain
caused widespread flooding, especially in the
hillier regions. Before the hurricane struck,
Newman called Jamaica three times a day to get
updates. Atpress time, she had only been able to
speak to her mother Mondayafter family friend
organized a three-way phone call using her
L!ndline and hercellphone. Given the state of the
infrastructure, only outgoing calls are possible.
For those away from the Caribbean it can be
frustrating to be so far away. "I wishI could be
back there to help," said Newman, "The worst
part is not knowing what's going on."
In addition to the food and clothing drive,
the A CS willbe holding a benefit party Septem-.
ber 30 at the Bombshdterpub. Whatwas to have
been a welcome partyfor Caribbean students will
instead be a benefit featuring reggae, soca and
dance hall music with proceeds from the $3
admission going to support the hurricane vic- .
rims.

The Consulate General of Grenada has established an account at the d:anadianlmperial Bank
of Commerce where funds may be donat~d at
any crnc branch, includingthe one in the basement of th.;: Student life Centre. The account
name is the Grenada Hurricane Ivan ReliefFund
Account #2608731 and Transit #04702.
The Caribbean Canadian Association of
Waterloo Region and the United Caribbean
Association of Cambridge have partnered with
the Mennonite Central Committee to raise addi~
tional funds to support those affected by Hurricanelvan:
nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Relief Fund Info

a

The Consulate General of Grenada
has established'an account at the
Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce; ·funds may be donated at
ALL CIBC banks to the Grenada
. Hurricane Ivan Relief Fund.
Account #2608731 & Transit #
04702.
Cheques or Money Orders should
be made payable and mailed to
the Consulate General of Grenada, 439 University Ave., Suite
930, Toronto, M5G.1Y8.

who claimed the comment was in response to a
note he had been passed, said that his aunt Claire
~ in Pembroke, Ontario had been among the most
shocked, suggesting to him over the phone that
what the Prime Minister needs mostis a bar of
soap to wash his mouth out.
Canada Border Services recently wrapped up
a three-'month investigation in which approximately 700 X-rated videos, magazines
and books were all inspected to see whether
or not they could be allowed for sale in Canada.
According to a spokesman, the goal of the inves':
tigation was to uphold the Canadian law's prohibition offfiateriatthatpromotes hatred, crime,
violence or obscenity, such as suggested or depicte~ rape or child pornography. Disturbingly,
Border Services reports that the vast majority of
magazines they inspected did suggest or depict
. these acts and were immediately rejected, making
documents like Hustler amon,g the most tame
matePal examined. A 1986 episode of Pee Wee's
Playhouse made the cut..
International

Transportation officials in Thailand are taking measures to prevent young bus passengers
from having, sex in the back of the vehicles
during night-time commutes. A study by the
Bangkok Mass TransitAuth9rity has found that
manystudentse~insexinthebackoftheair­
conditioned Route 12 bus, which passes by local
colleges and collects several students on theirway
home from evening classes. The cloth cUrtains
have since been removed from the windows, as
most of the frisky couples had been using them
to conceal themselves during the act. Also, notices have been posted on the bus bearing the
following message: "Thai women should pre':
serve old culture about sexual behaviour." No
word yet on whether or not the men have to.
mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

On-going construction on Columbia
StreetbetweenKingandPhillipStteets
this surru;ner has had only a small
effect on vacancy rates along the corridor.
'
Since last summer, Columbia
Street has ~een undergoing a facelift
to widen the roadway from tWo to
four lanes;-water main and storm
sewer replacements have been un.dertaken' at the same t:im.e.
"Th~ project is.currently ahead of
schedule," sa~d Doug Horst of
Stantec Consulting, who is overseeing the project. "[The contractors]
have been great.',' He noted that although this spring's inclement,
weather could have kept the project
behind, work did not stop and, as a
reswt, the project will be complete
far ahead of its original due date of
November 30.
''We're looking at somewhere in
around the first of October to the
fifteenth," he said.

Many 'for rent'signs were still up
in the uncompletedsection between
Albert and Phillip streets during
frosh week, h<?weverwhen contacted
by Imprintmost of the landlords said
they had simply forgotren to take the
",
signs down.

"Everythin.gis for
safe if thepr~~e
I!; right.II·~ .

Others in the Columbia corridor
do not agree. ''We getlots ofcalls, but
the,problemis getting to the spot. The
kids just aren't walking along [ColumbiaStteet]," said Teresa Huegie, owner
of127 Columbia. ''We've been making some improvements to the place
while it's vacant"
The widening of Columbia Street
corresponds with its inclusion as a

major development corridor in the .
height and density study approved by'
city council last fall. The recently.releasedStudentAccommOdationStudy
that goes to council on Monday, September 27 recommends Columbia
, Street be allowed to develop into three
and four-story multiple unit buildings such as the one at 100 University
Avenue.

When asked if she would sell her
house to a developer looking to put
up one of these buildings, Huegle
replied ''Definitely. Everythingis for
sale if the price is right."
Officials from city hall could not
be reached for comment before press
time.
tm.ollison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

- Teresa Huegle
landlord
''We've had that property rented
since February," said Joyce Klaver
from Waterloo Off-Campus Hous- ,
ing of 134 Columbia Street. "The
construction started after we had finished filling the spaces."
"I have one vacancy out of 140
spots," said Dan BeaucheElin of his
various properties around the city.
He manages 143 Columbia Street,
where there is only one vacancy.

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Construction continues on Columbia Street while both dust and frustratio'ns rise.

Parking: students not informed
continued from page 3

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~addedthatitwouldbehelpfultofromonelotto another to find a sJ?otto
knowif faculty and stafflots are having
{>1Itk. I feel thechanges have been made
problems,oriftheyareemptyaswellHe' primarily to please the university staff
,.noted empty spots in these lots may
andtobringmoremoneyinbyopening
provide a solution to the student park- ,the gates and ticketing students parked
ing dilemma.
illegally (without permits)," Maliouta
Henry eXplained thepatkingchanges said.
,have b~in the works for quite a while
Parking Services' acknowledged
now. One of the problems is that there
that the removal of parking gates
was no data available to forecast these
from stuqentlots may result in more
difficulties.
ill!!gaily parked vehicles. ''We will be .
Regardless of whether they are in
monitoring this activity closely with
favour ofthe new procedures, there is a
more emphasis given to the student
common sentiinent among students
parking lots by our" enforcement
that they were not properly informed
staff," said Mackenzie.
thatthechangesweregoingtotakeplace.
,"I guess they should have other
Mackenziedefendshisdepartment's
lots for when this one ~ot C) gets
communication initiatives. ''It is difficrowded," suggests Rachel Watson, a
cult to ensure that every student is in
4A arts student.
receiptofacertaiRpieceofmformation,"
"Ifyou think you're going to make
he adtnitte.d."As soon as we ~ the
it to class on time, you might end up
updated information available it was being... iatebecauseyouhavetogoto
posted to our web site, which has the
another [parkingpot," said 3B actubest chance of reaching most of the
arial science student Fiona So, adding
students."
"you can't time it right so you [can
Many students have expressed reget] to class in.time."
sentment over the new regulations.
"[The old parking system] elimi'''The way I perceive it, the changes
nated the stress of driving all across
weremadeto be beneficia1onlyto faculty
campus and the unfairness in the way
members, who now have the best parks~dents are treated," Maliouta said.
ing lots' on campus and face no hassles
or limitations with parking spaces. On
tlevesque@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
the other hand, students are rushing
editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

5

FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Iraq

ethod or

FOREIGN MATTERS
A friend of mine recently said, "It's
crazywhatis goingonin Iraq. It's crazy
that they are killing each other."
It's true that every so often a bomb
or a raid kills scores of people in Iraq.
However, all of the factions involved
still have a purpose and strategy. That
purpose is so important to all sides
that they spend piles of money and
sacrifice lives to achieve it.
So who are the parties and what are
their purposes and strategies?
Let's take theinsurgents. These are
a diverse group. They include
Saddam's sUpp01ters, religious militias (e.g. al-Sadrfighters), foreign fighters (with al-Qaeda links) and insurgent forces sent by the neighbouring
countries -especially Syria and Iran.
These four groups have many differences; the goal they all share is to get
rid of the U.S.-led coalition and tl1.e
coalition-backed government.
The strategy of the insurgents in-,
volves killing as many people as they
can. First, they kill coalition soldiers
and civilians. This tL'1dermines the
domestic support t~Jr the war.
~cco!,ld, they target Iraqi gOYernmentinsritutions (like police stations)
and kill Iraqis who co-operate with the
new Ira"1i government, This slows
down the establishment ofIraqi forces
that could deal with the insurgents.
And finally, they target ordinary
Iraqis to create chaos and bring the
country into a civil war.
The goals of American forces and
the other coalition nations have been

adness?

under intense debate. The official version is that the coalition went to Iraq
to disarm Hussein's regime and to
build a ftee and democratic nation.
The U.S.-led coalition claims that
Hussein was supporting terrorist
groups and may have been involved
with al-Qaeda. However, many people think that the real reason for the
invasion was Iraq's oil.
Naysayers claimthatthewaris aimed
at colonizing Iraq and its oil wealth.
Evidence suggests thatterrotismwas
indeed the main cause for American
involvement. September 11 has
changed the focus ofAmerica's intemationalefforts towards d1epreventionof
anothersuchattocity.
As I see it, this can only be done on
two levels: the state level and the moral
level. On the state level, terrorists rely
on the support of governtnents (like
Afghanistan's Taliban). In particular,
al-Qaeda needs training bases and access to weapons of mass destruction.
The Iraqi intelligence service had
been involved in the 1993 attack on the
World Trade Centre - it even occurred
exactly two years after the end of the
first Gulf War. There is no question
that Hussein's Iraq supported several
terrorist groups.
It is possible that haq has contracted al-Qaeda to "finish the job,"
hence 9/11. Also, we know that I rag
used to have acriveweaponsptograms.
Some ofthese nasty weapons could
still bc bUi1cd somewhere in the Iraqi
desert. Frofi1 the coalition~s point of
,dew, attackingli-a(l would also put its
fixces at the centre of fhe stnregically
important Nuddle East.
From Iraq, the coalition could apply military pressure on Syria, Iran and
Saudi Arabia. All three nations have
provided support to the insurgents
attacking coalition forces. These three
nations worry the most about the
coalition being sU,ccessfulin Iraq.

The second level on which to defeat
terrorists is the moral/ ideological level.
I thas been suggested that the threat of
terrorism can ultimately be dealtwith
only if societies that harbour terrorists
become democratic and prosperous.
Coalition forces have decided that Iraq
would be a good place to start the
transformation to d~mocracy.
Moreover, the attack on Iraq could
be justified as an act ofliberation. After
all, the conditions of the Iraqis could
not have gotten much worse. The
massive amounts of money poured
into rebuilding Iraq since the war
strongly support this line of thinking.
While terrorism surely dominated
coalition thinking, oil was not entirely
forgotten. After all, Iraq does have
large oil reserves.
Byinstallinga fricndlyregimeinIraq,
the coalition may be hoping to undermine the OPEC oil cartel (OPEC was
fOimed to infutt~ the prices of oil), The
benefits to the world economywould be
noticeable but still insignificant compared \vith the cost of terrorism.
According to The Ecoflomirt, the direct financi.ll cost of September 11 to
tlle insurance companies is $40 billion.
$7 billion is to be paid to the victims'
families.
N[assive amounts of money were
spent helping tlle airlines fund new
security precautions. The total economic cost of tbe attack is il1Cl!culahie;
even ):,'Xeater is the hmnan cost.
Yet even that pales when compafed .to an atL'tck by{puclcar-atmed
tctrorists. If the invasion ofIraq succct:ds in'pren:nring
one such attack then it
be more than justified.
Perhaps what many critics forget is
that the Middle Eastis rich in two things:
oil and terrorists - and there are far
more terrorists than oil. It is terrorists,
apd not oil, that the coalition is after.

,,,ill

THIS IS YOUR WORLD
The world is built on the backs of
innovators, or perhaps more appro ..
priately, it is the innovators who push
us into our new world. Altllough
these inventors would likely continue
to invent no matter what the incentive,
record-breaking, showmanship and
contest-winning have proven to be a
guaranteed hotbed for invention.
When powered flightwas a fledging
industry - more frequentlyundertakcn
in bicycle shops and barns than in ordered factories, there was always a competition to take on or a record to be
broken. One need only think of pilots
likeCharlesUndberghorAmeliaEarhart
Lindbergh started his aviation careeras a barnstormer, a trick pilo t who
perfonned stunts for audiences in the
1920s. He vaulted to international fame
. whenhe became the first person to fly

non-stop from New York to Paris.
The world of aviation before the Second World War demonstrated to audiences the amazing and practical
possibilities of this new technology.
The UniversityofWaterl06;ssolar
car team lmdertooka simibrshowcase
this smnmer \vith a'road trip across
Canada and the United St~tes.
Though perhaps not as glan1.orous
as wing..walking or as daring as flying
solo across the Atlantic ocean, d1eirtour
was likely no less challenging.
To date, no team has yet taken their
car on such along single journey as the
one undertaken by UW's Midnight.
Sun VII team.
The Midnight Sun VII Solar Car
race team broke the unofficial distance
record for the single journey last week
on day 35 after having passed the
,officially recorded distance record earlier in the tour. Their summer odyssey
started in the ftrst week ofAugust and
will end shortly end in Waterloo, having logged over 19,000 km.
They have cl,wned the world record
for the longest single journey by a solar
-powered car as recognized by Guinness \V'orld Records .
Those who work on projects such

* Network with over 170
employers
* Learn about career
opportunities
*8uild confidence for
interviews by meeting
employers now

as the Nudnight Sun are a special breed
of people .
They see a challenge before them
and take it in stride. Nothingwill stand
intheirway.lftheyneedfunding, they
will find it. If ther need a part, they "rill
find a donor. If the part doesn't exist,
they will make it. If someone says tha.t
it can't be done, they will only try
harder.
Through a spirit of competition,
solutions to practical problems are
found. In the early 1920s, competitions existed for air, land and marine
vehicles. These competitions ushered
in a series of vehicles that were more
reliable, durable and afforaable than
their fragile predecessors.
Ivfore than mere tinkerers, recordbreakers push the world of possibility
beyond tlle borders of perceived reality.
Without the innovators and the
inventors, we would not have any of
the things that we have today. Should
you see the solar car doinga victory hp
arOlmd the Ring Road in the coming
days, give them a cheer. \lClbo knows
what they'll think of next?
nmoo9ksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

)

FREE transportation provided
Y
FREE admission with stUdent/alumni ID

Study in

ustralia
INFORMATION SESSION
representatives from

The University of Melbourne, Australia

wi\! be hosting an information session about programs available at the University of Melboume

in:

Education

Dentistry

Teaching

Medicine

Biological Sciences

Nursing

Environmental Sciences Optometry
Physical Sciences

PhYSiotherapy

Psychology

Veterinary Science

Date:

Monday, Sept 27. 2004

Time:

5pm -7pm

Venue:

B1-271 (Biology Building 1, Rm271)

s9 utfrai nd@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

lessed are the record-breakers

R

2004C

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Or visit the University of Melbourne Booth in the Student Life
Centre from 11 am - 3pm

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6

,FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Celebrate your entrepreneurship!
to their news release, by presenting one student with a 2005 CIBC
Studen~ Entrepreneur ofthe Year
Award.,
"We believe the incredible acChristine Loureiro
complishments of student entreIMPRINT STAFF
,preneurs deserve recognition,"
said David Henderson, president
CIBC and ACE reward student and vice chair of ACE.
entrepreneurs
To be eligiblefor the award,_a
student must be enrolled ina
Are you a full-time student 'full-time undergraduate program
running your own business? at a Canadian university or college
Thanks to the co-op program, the and taking a minimum of three
UniversityofWaterloolias more than classes 'per semester during the
its share of innovative student en~
2004-2005 academic year.
trepreneurs.
They must also 'have' started
Lucky for them, the Canadian
the business and continue to
manage it; Finally, the business
Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC)
and Advandng Canadian Entre- must have been in operation for
preneursh-ip Inc. (ACE) warit to
at least six months piior to the
celebrate" the commitment, denomination date.
termination and achievemerits of
Anyone can nominate a stu路
student entrepreneurs," according dent, who will 'then be asked to
~

complete a written application and
send it to the ACRnational bffice
if they aCre selected to enter the
qualifying round.
Nominations are being accepted online until November 5,
2004. For more information, or to
make a nomination, pJease visit
www.acecanada.ca
and
www.cibc:com/srriallbusiness.

Welcome back Davis Centre
.Library
After more than a: y~ar of planning and a temidosed for renovation, the Davis Centre Library reopened on Septembe.r 13, ready to
meet the new term with improved
study space"reorganized book
stacks, and new public service
desks.
The facelift, however, 1s not
comp~ete,a~ work will continue

this month to finish the'new en- tion and action group wants stutrance, exit and other areas in the dents and citizens of Kitchenerlibrary.
,
Waterloo to go without a car from
The temporary entrance islo- September 19 to September 25
cated on the campus side ofDaw.s
and use alternate forms of transCentre, facing Ring Road. Informa- ' portation instead.
cion and circulation services will
WPIRG is also holding a Carbe, limited until networking -is
free Street Festival in Victoria Park
completed, but reserves will be on September 19 from noon until
available at the new circulation 5 p.m.
/
desk.
To find out how easy it is to get
Y bu
can
also
visit around town without a car, go to
www.lib.uwaterloo.ca for updates
this festival! '
and photos. '
According to WPIRG, this exciting stre-et festival will- feature
Park your car!
skateboarders, roller bladers;
street hockey games and "some of
Given the' recent issues with the craziest bicycles you've ever
parking on campus, Waterloo Pubseen."
lic -' Intetest Research Group
For more information about
(wpIRG)'s In Town withiJuta Cat Internat~onal Car Free Day, visit
initiidve ~ould not be better , www.carfreeday.ca;
timed.
The Waterloo research, educacloureiro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

7

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Same-sex divorce legalized in: Ontario
rally go for same-sex couples."
M.M. and J .R, were married on June
"How can you 'allow same-sex
18, 2003, the we* after same-sex
marriage was lega1ized in Ontario.
marriage but not same-sex divorce?"
That court ruling struck down the
agreedAl~ Vekic,.1Aspeechcommutraditional definition ofmarriage,callnic!1tion. "It just seems logical"
Todd Matejka, a 2A honours sciing it "an infringement of .Section
ence student, was of the same opin~
15(1)of the Charter [of Rights and
.
ion.',!f they wantto break up, that's - Freedoms]."
The judge ruled, "itis not demonfine.. Do what you want! Let:em
fuckin'divorce!" His sentiments were
stt~bly justified in a free and demoechoed by SahalAbdi, 2A kinesiology,
cratic socieryaccordingto S~tioo 1." ,
who added, "Why not'allow divotce?
The first.gaydivorcees celebrat~d
We can't force them to staytoget9.er!" _ the recent divorce ruling, and their
lawyer, Martha McCarthy haileditas a .
JeffSChwalm, 2A political science,
precedent-setting victory. ''No one is
is against the court decision. "Samegoing to have to fight this particular
sex marriage shouldn't be ~egaljUlY"
way, and definitely not sanie-sex dibattle again," she declared. ''They'll
rely o,n this case."
vorce," he argued. "I just think that
She a9-oed, ''We believe that this is
homosexuality itself is immoral."
Adam Grinstead, 2Aho,nours sci~
not just the firstgay or lesbian divorce
ence, disagreed passionately -with . in Canada, but actually the first gay or
lesbian divorce in the world"
Schwalm's stance.. ''1 can't believe this
is an issue," he said. "It's so ~tupid
The federaigovernmentwillabide.
that it's even debated! It's Ii simple
by the. decision, but urged J~stice
matter of freedom of choice."
Mesbur not to gobeYQnd st:ri.king
. InJuly, immediately after the coudown the sr'ecific portions of the Divorce Act that weremvolved. They
ple's.divorce petition was publicized,
insisted that rewriting the definition
the federalJustice departmerttconshould be left up to Parliament.
ceded thatexcludinggays and lesbians
from the definition of spouse in the
Mesbur was not entirely in agreeDivorceActwouldprohibitthemfrom
ment, as nothing in the forthcoming
divorcing and was therefore unconstigovernment legislation on same-sex'
tutional.
marriage ~ays anything about divotc~..
The problem has been solved.
.. Justice Minister 'Irwin Cotler
. ... The lesbiap. co,t:;pIGi!iyolveoin the . doesn'tthln.k:the issue is very complicated <'1t's really basically the same
·1arn:hnatk decision,' ~own simply as

Mark JolmsQn
IMPRINT STAFF

An Ontario judge has just broken the
ice on same-sex divorce. Viewed as the
rational next step after the legalization
ofsame-sex marriage in various provinces, Justice Ruth Mesbur. of the
Ontario Superior Court has declared
the definition ofspouse in the federal
Divorce Act to be unconstitutional.
The law had defined "spouse" as
a man and a woman married to each
other; therefore, a gay or lesbiancou~
pIe previously had no access to divorce.
''The definition of a spouse is
uncollstitutional, inoperative and of
n~ force and effect," Mesbur said.
Brenda Cossman, a professor at
the University of Toronto, believes
tba,tsame-sex divorce is "an<>;brainer"
and considers it a re'asonable step to
take after the momentous decision
that struck down the traditional definition of m~ on July 12, 2002.
Reaction at UW was overwhelmingly positive:
Laura Sardone, a 2A biology student, agrees with the decision. "If
you're fukingsteps towards completely
legalizing same-sex marriage, then di:vorce -would seem the next logica,l
step," she. said. ''The sad fact is that
many heterosexual.marriages don't
work out, and the same woilldnattt-

principle as in the same-sex marriage
motion was narrowly defeated, 137
votes to 1 3 2 . '
.
reference, and mainly, gays and lesbians should have the right to divorce as
Parliamentis expected to hold ano,ther debate on same-sex marriage
they should have the ~t to marry."
OntarioPremierDaltonMcGuinty . i:his fall or early next year; and this one
concutred ''Wecertainlysupportsame- will no doubt include discussion over
sex ma.rnages and logically what flows
the court decision legalizing same-sex
from that are divorces," he said.
divorce in Ontario.
In approximately thtee weeks, the
Many believedtheJesbian couple;s
Supreme Court of Canada will hold a
ca.seto be suspect, and criticsilismissed
hearing on the federal government's
it as a judicialsttintto test the litnits of
dl;aft legislation to formally legalize
Canada's divorce laws.
same-sex marriage across Canada.
BrianRushfeldt, executive director
In the House of Commons, a Ca- of the Canada Family Action Coalinadian. Alliance m9tion has been· tion,~bclledthecase«judicialrot"and
brought forward to.try.and force the
assailed the coW:!: fot agreeing to hear
government to, invoke section 33 of the divorce petitioiI.
the Canadian Charter of Rights and
No matter what their intent, these
Freedoms - also known as the nottwo women have taken a major step to
withstanding clause -:-to force the .change the legal landscape of Canada
government. to stop same-sex marfqr many years to cOJIle.

All prices are already 2% cash disoounted. Visa orMaster Card payment are on regular prices.
Products may not be as Shown. see stores for details. Prices are subjected to changewithout nolice

Prices and products in'effect Sep.16 ~ Sep.23, 2004

FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Imprint is published by Imprint Publications
Student life Centre 1116
University ofWaterloo
Waterloo, ON N2L .3G1

.

.

Give itto us ... we can take it
laura Katslrdakis
KITS GIT YIUR TINGUE
Newspapers are great, aren't they?
They keep us inf~rmed and entertained. Let's admit it, often the
most entertaining things in a newspaper are the letters to the.editor.
Sometimes it seems that every
'Tom, Dick and Harry· thinks he
knows better than the 'editors and
writers. (Sometimes it seems that
every Tom, Dick and Harry does
indeed know better and can write
better tOQ.)
Letters to the editor are my fllvourite part ofiJ. newspaper, but
n<;>t only for their entertainment

value. It is. fantastic'to see readers
respond to the work editors toil
over. Letters that point out valid
errors keep us on our toes· and
motivate us to perfect our pag6S.
Some letters express it genuine dif-'
ference of opinion, and these enrich
'the dialogue that newspapers are
constantly engaged in with their
readers.
"
After all, part of Imprints mission statement vows to provide, "a
forum for the discussion of issues
that affect the
community."
Whether Imprint pisses you off, or
you think there's something ,that
wasn't quite right in a paper, or even
if you think there's something that
deserves to be added, everyone is .
more than welcome to write letters '
to the editor and participate in this
discussion.
However, there. are some ms.' tinctions between different tYPes of

rOW]

content in this newspaper that are
sometimes lost on readers. I would
like to take this opportucity to clarify
these distinctions and hopefully
provide readers (and letter writers)
. with a heightened chance to develop informed opinions about
Imprint.
,
When a news, sports, or science
article is written, the writer's opinion is not relevant to the story' and
should not be included in it. The
purpose of such articles is to report
the facts, and consult relevant
sources in doing so.
An arts or features article may be
different. When reviewing a movie,
for example, an arts writer does
indude his or her own opinion of
the movie, but they strive to assess
it from a point of view that would
be useful to readers.
Features writing cariindw:le a
writer's perspective i~this way, it
0

can be written as- an investigative
still pissed off after that, rather than
news piece, or it carl even use more
complaining to the guy next to you,
creative means of expression.
write us a letter!. Let me hold your
An opinion article, as the name hand for a moment and point out
suggests, is pure opinion. Ifwriters
that such letters can be e-mailed to
offer f~ctual evidence to back up' letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca, or
their ~laims, chances are pretty good editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.
that they will mention supporting
Remember, those writers who
evidence rather than researching into
express their opinions on Imprint's
the ways that their opinion is wrong.
pages have just as much right to,their
A column is also the expression convictions as you have to yours.
of one writer's opinion. Imprint disIf you're still pissed off... gues.s
pers~s, columns throughout its . what? Imprintis a voiunteer-fueled
pages: ~qlumnsin the news,sec- creature. If you want to have your
tion, fdr example, allow writers to voice heard then come down to SLC
give their opinion about anything 1116 and write for Imprint! Volunnews-related.
, teers are always welcome.
Myadvice is this: when you read
A word to the wise, however. If
a column, if it delights you or if h
you work here, and you still can't
makes you want to retch, lookat the grasp the distinction between a news
little picture ofthe author. You are
article and an opinions piece, I may
reading onel'erson's opinion. Difjust kick your ass until you get it.
ferences of opinion happen all the
time. Take a deep breath,andifyou're
editor@h:nprint.uwater·ioo.ca

Oppositional majority: uniting the right... and the left
q::~firi,b;e ,otably;fue op~ition
leaders share an intense dislike for Paw'
Maitin, the Liberal Party of Canada .
and their Complete lack of the aforementioned qualities.
With such fallaoesin mind, the
.cautious political maneuvering of the
Blot:, NDP and Conservatives in re~entweeks is easier to comprehend. A
common enemy has united them in
The sight of Jack Layton, Gilles
what Harper has terineda "co-oppo~
Duceppe and Stephen Harper holdsition."
ing a joint news ~onference on SepThe common ground between the
tember 9 was an unlikely one. Althree parties is one of democratic re~
though the three opposition leaders
are worlds apart 'On niost issues of' form. They plan to use their combined 173-seat"majority'~~compared
policy, they do have two very importo the 135 seats held by the Liberals ..... '
tant things in common.
First, they each have the vision and . to push through changes that the
Liberals have been avoiding foryears,
drive required to be successful leaders
fearing a loss of power in the Prime
- they have quantifiable goals, targets
Minister's
office.
and dreams.

months ago, r found D;lyselfwatching
a question.period in the House of
Commons where a Liberal backbencher labeled thddea. of. fixed
" elec- .
tion dates an "attack on the Crown."
Hilariously, he misspoke and talked
briefly of"fixed elections" rather than
"fixed election dates." The opposition.
jumped at the opportunity, asking
whether the last election was, in fact,
fixed.
Anyone who has ever been dissatisfied,with the way government works
in Canada should feel a sense of pride
today.
With the Liberalsjit their political
knees and a cap~ble opposition poised
to strike a finishing blow, change is
finally on the horizon.
But the d~moCratic upgrades pro~
-

only the beglhning of a much larger flunkies,ourMPswou1dnolO1;gerbe
constitutional reform that is desper- "nobodies," as PierreTrudeau so eloateiy needed in tbis country~
quentiy described them, and wewould
Hayinga Go~emor General and a 'nol()ngettolerateappointed Senators
QueeO:\night have been suitable in' who have beeo'kriown i:6skipwork.
'1867,butthe entire conceptofparliaThe Liberals must get over their
mentary democracy has no place ip fear ofsharing power and-lettnetake
modem government.
this opportunity to shove their social
I, f01; one, hope that most Canadie agenda down their own throat - reans will"eventually support sweeping member that this country is foreverych~gesinOttawa,inciudingmoving ·one, including the NDP, Bloc
powpaway from the Prime Minister's Quebecois (so long as they remain part
Offile, allowing free votes in the House ofCanada), Conservatives and Greens
of Commons, the establishment of (i{tliey ever win a seat.) .
~ ele(;ted Senate and the dismantling
To the Liberal backbencher who
ofthe$44-millioncdollar-a-yearmon- said democratic reform was an attack
strositythat calls it.self the Governor ~n the Crown, I respond with take
Gener31'soffice.'
that, Queen Elizabeth!
Under such a system, oui Prime
MinisteJ:: would be the head of state
tlevesqLie@imprint.1Jwaterloo.ca

Friday,Septembei17,2004- Vol. 27, Ni;>. 9

Associatiprt (0cNA).

Student Life Centre lU6
UnivetsityofWJtterloo
W~tetloo.ON N2L 3(>1

Editori;!!. submissions may be considered
for pilblication in any edition of Iniprint.
Imprint may also reproduce the material
commercia11y in any format or medium as
part of the newspaper database, Web site pr
any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content,
including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights
of their submitted material, and as such,
agree not to submit the same work to any
other publication or group until such time
as the ma~ has been distributed in an
issue '. oflmpriizt, or Imprint declares their
intent not to publish the material. The full
text of this agreemen~ is available upon
request.

Imprint is the official student newspaper of
the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by
Imprint Publications, Waterloo; a corporation without share capitaL Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper

Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising.
Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to
be libPous or in contravention with 1m,
Priflts policies with respect to our code of
ethics and journalistic standards. The first .

person to go to the Impri"t office to talk
with the editor-in-chief gets a· prize.

.Imprint is published every Friday during
. fall and winter terms, and every second
Friday during the spring term. Imprint
reserves the right to screen, edit and
refuse advertising. Imprint Publications is
not responsible for advertisng mistakes
'beyond the cost of the advertisement.
One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN
0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product
'Sales Agreement no. 40065122.
Next staff meeting:
Monday, September 20
12:30 p.m., SLC 1116

Next production night:
Wednesday, September 22
5:30 p.m., SLC 1116 ,

Next board meeting:
'Monday, September 20
3:30 p.m., SLC 1116

IlVIPI{INT ()PINION

FRIDAY; SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

·9

Real men eat quiche tOO.
Grabam Barcia,
TYPE-IN-STEREO
"Real men don't eat quiche."
, You've probably all heard the saying before. Originally the title of a book by Bruce
Feirstein, it spawned a small series of equally
testosterone-soaked books with such titles as
"Real Men don't Bond" and ''Nice Guys Sleep
Alone."
In any case, according to Bruce, I'm not a

As much as some of you will try to deny it,
"Real Man," whatever that may be. Sure, I've
eaten my share of quiche. In fact, I've even it is generally true. Try to get the average male
made a couple ... of my own volition, no less., . to go for a manicure, shave his legs, or drink/
own/.:wear anything pink, and he will most
I'm sure that fact probably adds a couple more
demerits onto my licepse of masculinity, if likely run away screaming. Why? Because, due
to our society's preconceptions, each of those
,such a thing exists~
things are viewed as feminine, and, in the
Since society has progressed a fair bit since
binary system of our culture, masculinity is
Feirstein wrote his fIrst book back in the early
assumed by many to be more desirable then
1980s, whether the "no quiche" rule still applies to the male portion of society could be femininity despite the continual efforts of the
femiriist movement.
something of a debate, but that's not really
And so it is that the average male will go out
what I'm interested in. The rellson 'why
Feirstein's book was initially so popular back' of his way to make sure that his'every action
doesn't cross that invisible line in the sand, .
then, still exists today: on the whole, men are
because as soon as he so much as comes close
afraid... of women.
to toeing that line, all his "real man" friends
Or, at least, of being seen as '.'effeminate"
will begin harassing him about his deviation.
or "unmanly" in their actions.

It is this pressure that causes many men to try
and embrace a macho attitude, only forcing us
into stereotypically "male" roles - a mold of
our own creation.
Now, I'm not going to say that the gay males
have it right, perfecting the mix of masculinity
with femininity. We too have our own set of
stereotypes, which we continue to perpetuate
- at times, quite happily. What I'm saying is
that males, as a gender, need to relax a little bit.
After ali, we're adults, we're supposed to challenge society'S oppressive grip on our cajonesl
Get out there and live' a little!
~esides, it's only a quiche, guys ... not a pink
mini-skirt.

gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Ian Ilechscbmidt

FUES
So then I got stuck in
traffic, and then'she threw
water on me! *~igh* It
doesn't get worse than this ..

........

Dude, no! \

I-rs bad luck to say
thatl And anyway,jt can
always get worse.'

I

WeJl for starters, you
could be attacked by an
irradiated ferret.
f

I

Yeah, right. What
, else could possibly
happen today?
,

"

"

Of course. How
silly of me.

<r'
."

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Bfact, goldanifSpirited
To the edirot,
.. 1he..WaterlooWa.rrio~Men'sV:arsity~y.
Team.:wouldliJreto.thetimeand.thankeach
an4.~eryoq.dofyou f()r yourarnazlitg support
on B¥ and GoldDllylastSaturday. Withallthe
ch~andsinginghehind us, we were able t9
beatU'Urier19-17..
. OAbehalfofthe 2004 Men'sVatsityRugby
Team, I wouldIike to irlviteyou aU to our next
Home Gamevs. the University ofWirldsor on
Wednes<iay,&ptember 22 at4Ptnat Colw:pbia
·Jc~fi.elds L We could use the ~uPJ>prt and we .
~$e~ entertaining match~up. Thank you
:P~¥t of,~4.·
.

.

·c\' ;:' <l..ttitlSHtiriJin

4A. Kinesiology
Captdin~ Men's r7arnry Hugh'

11

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Mathie angst

Kerry, less r of tw evils

officesblockthedangerousraysescaping.
from those rogue windows-and they
take their sacrificevery seriously, making
sure to shut their doors as quickly as they
can so as to ensure no sunlight escapes,
bless their hearts.
Our reading week has fuoughtfulJy
been reduced to two days to protect our
Just as :Michael Moore offered his infragileselvesfromextendedminglingwith
.formed opinion on ourfederal election,
thelikesofourout-of-facultybrothersand
I recently had the experience of being sisters in those dangerous vacation spots
Canadians are fully justified in offering
theirhumble thoughts on the upcoming
trapped in the optometry building (par- in Florida, the Caribbean, and Europe.
ticipatingin a day-long experiment) and
AllofthisI'veacceptedI'maNIathie, . Americanelection.
inquired as to whether 1'd have access to andsuchisthelifeofaMathie(andasaCSAftetall, the bumbling George W. Bush
has damagedCanadajU.S. relations, he's
a computer Iabwhileincarcerated. I was NIathie, doubly so). But the one thing
told that yes indeed fuerewas a very nice thatwehad overourextta-faculty brefubruised the u.s. economy (m tum hincomputerlabavailable, sooffI wenttoget ren was our computerS. Our many labs
dering ours), and his misadventure in .
down to work. I logged in once. Twice. . with fields ofmachines as faras the eye can
Iraq has America almost universally reThree times. "Passwordincorrect"
viledabroad.
see (Linux, and Unix, and Wmdows, oh
It's like when you're breaking up and my~. Though to outsiders we may seem
The U.S., under Bush, has avenged
they tellyouit'snotyou,it's them-what likesemi-evolvedlifefonnshunchedover
the deaths ofless than 2, 800 civilians on
does tlut mean? That's the relationship our blinking monitors, ferociously strik9/11bykilliBgover 13, OOOIraqi civilians
Cf.luivalcnt of "Sorry, password incor- ingourkeyboards,rockingbackaridforth,
inanill-advisedinvasionofa~cefuland
prosperous nation. Bush also demolrect" Yousee,otheruserscangetin, but moaning the mantra of: "My precious...
ishedAfghanistan. A lotofterrorism for
you just haven't figured out the correct My precious ... Run Goddammit! My
only four years in office!
.sequence ofacttons.
precious... Myprecious... Whywon'tyou
Thinkingthatperhaps I needed tore- compile?... Myprecious., ..," from inside,
Granted, it's a bit difficult to contrast
regiSter, I did, and then, alas aless cryptic itis a place ofpeace and t;neditation, our
Bush wifuJohnKerry.BushpaintsKerry
as a free-spendinglibetal, buthe'sneitl1er
one sanctuary,
message mateour one advan-路
rialized. This
free-spendingnorparticularly liberal.
They're bothright"wing conservanew message
tage
over
all
of
So you can imagine
was clear as
you sunshinemy utter shock
"I'm seeing
loving freaks.
So you can
someone else,"
when I read the
imagine my utot ''1 find you
words, so plainly
ter shock and
revolting," or
incompreheosioo
"let me show
written: IIMath
when I read
ypu the restudents not
straining oragain thewords,
so plainly writdci." 111ismessupported."
The
. .
ten: "NIatb stusagewasthevery
betrayal. The hurt.
. concise, to-thedents not supported". The
point: "Math
The shattered heart.
betrayal. The
students not
hurt. The shatsupported."
Wow. They
teredheart
really don't beat around fue bush, do
To add insult to injury, behipd thk
they? No, "Sorry, please try another cruelmessageIcouldseein thebackgr()und
machine," or "currently not available to "[for help go to theJMath and Computer
math students, butwe'reworkingonit," building..." - us Mathies were being
oreven "It's justnot the right time forme, locked out (oratleast~vingfuelcx;k.-()ut
I just got out of a relationship wifu this . enforced) by those dwelling within our
other user," but the very simple, very own home, the Me! Oh the humanity!
direct, "Math students not supported".
Sometimes, I still wake路 up in the
Y'know, every group of students- middle of the night screaming. Please
fromArtsies to Sciborg; to Engies have send a good-looking Artsie to hold me,
theitown crosses to bear, and as aIvfathie, the need is great Thank you for your
I've come to acc.eptmy group's cross.
donation.
LikeEngics, I've acceptedthatas adeslywong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
regulated (that's I<1ingon for "unprotected, vulnerable, freely exploited for
profit'') program,I will forever be made
. to pay more in tuition even duringterms
when I take the exactsameelective course
as mySciborgfriend-she'dpay$450 to
my $760 for tl1e same course.
1bisisperfectlyunderstandable since
as a Mathie, they need to buy special
d with neat new
Astorepac~eesandboOgs,
equipment and bite :Mathie-to-english
clot~eS, PI~ sil\ler iewe\lery ,
professors to markmyessays and tests (I
piercmg E1:n
nd wigs, hair
assume that's what the extra $31Ois for).
cool hOSiery a nd hemp
incense a
d\(e
I accept that whereas Sciborgs and
J'
b ds records ...
products,
ea ,
Artsies and even Engineers deserve sunPLUS
light, as a Mathie, our species has been
scads 01 truly O~ginal
deemed unfit forlight (our kind has been
vintage clothm9
known to burst into flame as we come in
contacn-vitl1 scary sunlight - we're like
vampires, only less charismatic.)
The designers ofthe.Math and Comp"utersbuilding have taken care to minimize tlle an10unt of light flowing into
our hallways. Our dear professors and
stafftake fitrthersteps to protect us, their

EXTREME CENTRE

SHINY路 OBJECTS

tives; both support dumping more
moneyinto the bloated u.s. military and
both are socially conservative on moral
issues such as gaymarriage. Democratic
running mate John Edwards even supports capital punishment!
Onthesurfuce,KettyandBusharevety
much alike, but there remain important
differences thatillusttate the need to support Mr. Kerry. Dubya is detennined to
enacttheStarWarsmissiledefensesystem, .
acostlyandunreliableptogramthatwilldo
nothing to make the world a safer place.
Kerry has pledged to at least slow its
implementation, and this is likely why
Canada's federal government is waiting
until after their election before making a
commitment on missile defense.
Kerry has also promised to take anotherlookattheKyotoProtocoL Though
he'lllikelyrejectitas well,atleasthe'smore
attuned to envrronmentalissues than oil
rigger Bush.
Dubyatookanannualsurplusofover
$200 billionleftbv DernocratBill Ginton
andplungedAmericaintoadeficitexceeding $550 billion CDN - an act of pure
idiocy that would spark riots should it
happen in Canada.
Bush can blame the war in Iraq and
9/11, but the cosrs for those two "inci-

dents" don't come close to accounting
for this deficit NIaybe one reason is that
. U.S. soldiers and their dependents can
now receive plastic surgery, including
breast enlargements, on the taxpayers'
dime! Way to go, Georgie!
Bush,in typicalRepublicanstyle,has
swollen the size of the U.S. government
- in spite ofa 2000 pledge to reduce it
His tax cuts, totaling more than a trillion
. dollatsandskeWedtowardstherich,have
resulted not only in depleted government revenues, but the loss of over a
million American jobs.
KerryplanstorescindsomeofBush's
tax cuts; but only for those who earn
more than $200,000 US a year. Even Bill
Clinton, who admits to being in that
income bracket, supports this move.
Unfortunately, Americans seem
much more focussed on manufactured
terroristthreatsandattogantforeignpolicy
than with their own economy. Strange,
but true.
Canada is especially sore with Bush
because, although in 2000 he pledged to
support free u-adewith Canada,hisgovernment's imposition of tariffs .on
softwood lumber has crippled our industry.He'salsoviolatedNAFfA with
See KERRY, page 12

12

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

UW's new enrollment strategy
-

,Apda leal
OUR lOUSE
Ononeofmydailytripstothelibraryone
morning (yes, even before classes have
started ... I want to make sure I have a
properly broken in cubicle at the Dana
Porter fora fu\l termofqualityleaming),
I made a quick stop to the SLC.
I sttolledbyallofthe fiuniliarhotspots
-Brubakers,BOmber,TimHortons ....
Tim Hortons?
Yes,finallyafteryearsofdeliberation,
Timmy'shaSfinallymadeanappearance
intheSLC.
.
But this version' of Tim Hortons,
much like many of the Honda Civics
arotmdcampus, comes fu\lysoupedup
-it'sopen24hours,it'sstilldiscounted
for students using their meal plans to
purchase, and it comes with a patio
(tinted windows and lowered seats are
rumoured to benexton the renovations
list).
However, when I look at this new
addition to the SLC family, I see right
through it Sure, I felt that warm fuzzy
feeling when I first saw it from the

Continued froin page 11
'

outside, but after 5 seconds (about the
same time thatcutegirlfrompsych class
leftmyperipheralvision),Irealizedthat
this Timmy's is really a big scheme to
increasestudentenrollmentlittheuniversity.
Student enrollment is set to drop
after the double cohort, which scares
Ontariounivetsities. The University of
Waterlooalsorecognizesthattheirmajor
competition academically is schools in
the States and abroad. So how better
than to hit most prospective Canadian
students with somethingthathits home
- and dress it up to make i! attractive
(hence the 24 hours and
patio).
, lhave to be t:hankfiÂĽ oftny time as '
an Ambassador at the Visitors Centre
for this observation. When you give
campus tours on a regular basis, you
start to notice what landmarks around
campus falnilies are most impressed
with imd uncover their devious underbellies. For example: FedHall? Scheme:
(It's the 1argestoncampilS barinNorth
Amerita) Dana Porter? Scheme. (who
isn't mesmerized bya sugar cube in the
sky?) Those statuesoutsideHagey Hall?
... well, families don't know what they
are, either. But from now on, Tim
Hortonswillbe fumlyadded to this list
Now then, seeir}g as students are
now informed on the real reasonTim
Hortons was built in the SLC (appar-

the

NE'S
.. where it's all about

talent!

JEURSTRIP NIGHT

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un. .........

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farm subsidies that we can't possibly
entlytheprojectcodenamewas "recruita-palooza''), we can all plan to boycott â&#x20AC;˘ afford to match.
EvenMichaelMoore,left-wingfilmtheestaPlishment Thoseicedcapuccinos
maker, has realized that Bush must deneverphasedmean~ay... theyarejust
feated at all costs and has thtown his
fat and calories in a plastic cup ... and
frothed cream... whipped with delisupport behind the DemocratS.
WeareAmetica'sclosestneighbours,
ciouscappuccinoandcrushedice ... deliand I love the American peOple even
catelylanding on my taste buds with
every slurp ... and those Boston ci:eam
though38~centsaid,ina2002pon, that
Canada should be ,annexed. For their
donuts ... and double chocolate too ...
sake, I hope Bush is dumped
I thinklmightsufferfromthefrosh
He has tarnished America's foreign
15 again. Som~body please help me.
. alliances and caused an explosion ofteraocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
rorismthatmusthaveOsamabinLaden

TALES FROM TIE SEX SlOP

green withenvy.
He has made theworldamuchmore
dangerousplacetolive,andCanada'sbest
interests would definitely be served with
adefeatforGeorgeBushinNovember.
I'dpfcoursepreferHowardDeanor
Ralph Nader, butwe have to be realistic;
it's one of the conservatives - either
or Bush.
Let'sprayforGodtosmile<;>nCanada,
JohnKerryandtheUS.DemocraticParty
on November 2.

KerrY

mjohnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Mapk Stratford and- Laupa Katslrdakis

13

FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

eing a nympho ain't easy
ifI cannot have sex once an hour every
day so yes, of course I'm a little tense.
And since I've been told bringing a
vibrator to class is distracting, it's
neccessaryto share my excessive horniness with the campus in other ways.
Thankfully UW is not solely comprised of sexually fearful individuals.
There are many appreciative and even
curious. One day after sharing that
"tht;y say the rnind is the largest erogenous zone, and you, Sweet :Michelle,
are one erotic young lady" the writer
then asked me "to put [my] pussy
where [my] mouth is:' and e-mail him
back. Unfortunately forthis guy I have
a boyfriend.
Little did he know that my ability
to experiment grew when· my boy
began rockin' my world.

vast and interesting world ofsexuality.
There is no shame in being a nympho
but it is definitely not easy.
My candidness towards the subject
has brought many reactions and those
received via e-mail are great to share.
One titled "Stop writing shit in Imprint' goes like this:
"Your articles in Imprint are extremely sick, disgusting and crappy.
Apparently you have no interest in life
other than sex which is like being an
animal."
For the record, I hav~,many other
interests other than sex. I'm also into
masturbation, bondage, still pornography, whips and chains.
E-mailers have been concerned
about my "horniness." Well, being a
nympho I become sexually frustrated

TOUCHED
My name is Michelle Titus and I am a
nymphomaniac. They say that the fttst
step to recovery is acceptance and I
definitely accept my reliance on sexual
experience butitis not something that
needs to be fixed.
Throughout my university years,
getting offhas resulted in stress relief
anda lot offun. Writing about sexual
t;ndeavours allowed me to share the

My favourite reactions I received
were of the religious type, attempting
to open my eyes to a Godly world and
save my soul from damnation. In
response to my article "Dominican
adventure" I was told that this part of
the world is in poverty fora reason and
that he believes "Canada is stable because of our Christian core." Apparently he was unaware that the Dominican has a strong Christian base.
Attendance is so high at times that
atone church I visited, believers must
lis ten outside in the square or on lawn
chairs. Wait a second, I meant to say,
"What do I care about the Domincan?
All I did there was get drunk, tan and
fuck."
Allin all, I thank everyone who has
taken the time to share their opinions

with me. Without criticism my skin
would not have grown thicker and
without praise my writing would have
halted. I also thank all of the boys that
shared good times with me and contributed to my current sexual self.
Thanks to all of my friends who shared
,vith me their experiences and offered
supported in tough times, especially
Jen who's endured noise through the
walls I'm sure. Thanks to my political
boys who showed me how sex and
politics can complicate things but most
importantly how friendships can overcome. And lastly, thanks to my heart
and soul, my best friend and my phone
sex partner forever, Brett - size does
matrer.
mtitus@imprint.uwater\oo.ca

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The twenty-five cent coaster
features@imp1-int.uwaterloo.ca

-pagl18

Ameri ane ds tre s, ot Bush
Janice Jim

up arresting about 100 riders for obstructingtraffic and blockingintersections.
On August 28, activists marched
For four days, beginning on August
30, Republican delegates from across
across the Brooklyn Bridge to a rally at
City Hall in a "IvIarch for Women's
the country gathered in New York
Lives" organized by Planned ParentCity at Madison Square Garden for
the Republican National Convenhood of New York City, an abortion
tights advocate and othervmmen's
tion (RNC). The building resembled a fortress with heavily armed
groups. Tens ofthousands participated
to express their opposition to the Bush
tactical units, National Guard soldiers, bomb sniffing dogs, Secret
administration and to bring attention
to reproductive health issues. Marchers
Service agents and ordinary New
York Police Department officers pacarried sit,ms reading "reproductive justice for aU," "real sex ed saves lives" and
trolling the area.
On September 2, inside this mini
"pro-family, pro-choice."
police state, Bush formally accepted
The largest demonstration, wid1
his presidential
crowd estimates
nomination to
ranging from
thunderous ap150,000
to
Thousands of proplause. Outside the
500,000, was a
venue, throngs of
march organized
testers took to the
protesters, penned
by United for
streets to vent their Peace
behind tm;tal barandJustice
ricades and lines of frustrations with and (Up.n and took
place the next
armoured police,
express outrage at day.
The protestexpressed their disapproval.
the Bush administra- ers called for an
Thousands of
to the war
tion, chanting Ilfour end
protestors took to
and the occupathe stree:ts to exmore months" and tion ofIraq.
press their frustraThe lYlood
88 no more Bush." A
tionswith and outwas upbeat as the
rage at the Bush
candlelight vigil was march began,
administration,
with
some
held at Union
chanting "four
groups singing
more months" and
protest songs,
Square to com"no more Bush."
while others
memorate victims of banged on
A candlelight vigil
was held at Union
the IIWar on Terror." drums and blew
Square to comwhisdes. Loud
memorate victims
cheers rose from
of the "War on
the crowd as they
Terror,"while others took their mespassed an enormous banner that read
sage to the siteoftheRNCina protest
"Save America- DefeatBush" on the
organized by the anti-war group ANside of a building. The groups marchS\X1ER(ActNowtoStoptheWarand
ingpast the Garden were as diverse as
End Racism).
the city itself. Parents marching with
New' York City was a hotbed of young children and strollers, labour
protest activity all week.
unionists, army veterans, university
Large, organized protests kicked
students, senior citizens, anarchists,
off on August 27 with a "Critical
peace activists, you name it, they were
Mass" bike ride. Thousands of bike
there. Though each group had many
different reasons for protesting, they
riders took their pro-environment
\vere united in their opposition to the
stance to the streets and wound their
way around the city for several hours,
Bush administration.
many sporting an ti-Republican signs,
Around 3 p.m., marchers carrying
costmnes and T-shirts. Police ended
a large papier-mache green dragon arIMPRINT STAFF

As it turns out, Bush isn't well liked.

The Republican National Convention attracted a diverse group of protesters.
rived at the Garden. Soon afterwards,
gasoline was poured onto the large
puppet and it went up in flames.
Officers quickly extinguished the fire
and scuffles broke out as police went
into the crowd to snatch the purported arsonists. The crowd reacted
angrily and chanted for the police to
release those arrested. The march was
penned in at Herald SCluare, about a
block eastofthe convention site. Several more arrests were made before
tensions eased and the police allowed
the march to continue.
At around 5 p.m. protesters
marched triumphantly into a festive
rally at Onion Square. Theyweregreetcd
by organizers on loudspeakers congratulating them on finishing the
march. Despite the city'S refusal to
grant a rally pennit for the Great Lawn
of Central Park, thousands of marchers headed for the park. The scene was
mellow and calm at the Great Lawn as
police and journalists looked on while
thousands picnicked, played music and
relaxed on the grass. As dusk fell on an
tU1ptecedented, largely peaceful day of
pmtest, tired protesters tridded out of
Central Park.
Though Sunday's OP] march was
the largest day of action, activists held
a myriad of events throughout the
week. Marches by advocates for !'focial
issues, poor people and anti-war
groups were held on Monday and
Tuesday. A symbolic unemployment
line was formed by protesters holding
pink slips stretched several miles do,vn

Broadway from Wall Street to Midtown on Wednesday morning. Protesters, quietly standing on busy
sidevmlks, drew the attention ofrushed
commuters. Republican delegateswere
heckled as they attended Broadway
sho~,lavish corporate parties, or went
sightseeing. A small group of AlDS
activis ts with slogans painted on their
bodies stood nude near Madison
Square Gardens to protest the Bush
administration's st.'wce on.AlDS education and funding.
The floor of the Republican National Convention was notimmlU1e to
protests ..AlDS activists and members
ofCodePink,awomen-ledpeacegroup,
managed to disrupt the tightly scripted
convention on several occasions. The
activists infiltrated the floorusinglegitimate delegate or press passes and then
proceeded to hold up protest signs,
chant or strip off their business attire to
reveal slogan-adorned clothing. The
activists were quickly wrestled away by
the SccretService and shouteddowl1 by
surrOlU1dingRepublicandelegates. Several activists were even assaulted by
delq.,>ates who punched and kicked them
before the Secret Service arrested them.
A total of 1,821 protestors were
arrested during the convention. Amajority (1,480) were charged with disorderly conduct Thosean't.'sted weretah.'ll
to Pier 57 011 the Hudson River, which
was converted from an abandoned bus
depot to a temporary detention centre
by the dty. Al'restees were placed in
holding pens surrounded bymetal fenc-

ing; there was insufficient seating, with
only a few benches provided for hundreds of detainees.
According to New York State law,
those arrested must be processed and
arrait,'11ed within 24 hours, otherwise
they are eligible for immediate release.
Many detainees were held for 38 hours
or morc by the city. Acting Supreme
CouttJusticeJohn Cataldo found the
city in contempt on September 2 for
the illegal detention of protesters. He
fined the city $1 ,000 for each protester
held beyond 24 hours and ordered the
immediate release of those detained.
As the convention drew to a close
on Thursday night, a collective sigh of
relief could be heard. Neither terrorist
attacks nor launches of chemical and
biological weapons materialized. The
city returned to nonnal as trucks rolled
through the streets to collect metal
crowd-control harriers and heavily
armed officers disappeared from street
comers. The usual post-demonstration rhetoric was heard, with the mayor
heaping praise on the police for their
"'benevolent" handling of protesters,
protesters claiming victory and groups
filing civil rights complaints against
the city. The New '{ork Times called the
week's protests "thelargestin the history of political conventions." Protesters hope their resounding message of opposition to the Bush agenda
will carry through to election day on
November 4.
jjim@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IEBAMB'S IABEM
"The best part about frosh: you get
older but they stay the same age" Anonymous horny proverb.
Equipped ,vith a camera, a pen, and
a little black book with space for 10
more numbers,I attacked various frosh
events to check out this year's talent.
Shit, did I say that out loud? Presented
below is my evenhanded, thoughtful
coverage of three events -:Monte
Carlo Night, Black and Gold Day and
Toga Party. If you are illiterate, just
look at the pretty pictures.
Monte Carlo Night

Decked out in my :Miami Vice suit,
I hit up this event around nineish.
Good golly l\Iiss Molly, was there ever
a lineup! It seemed to stretch from
PAC to V1. I hadn't ,vitnessed this
kind of anticipation for an event since
Polka King Walter Ostanek came to
Kitchener last year.
Monte Carlo Nightwas trulya sight
to behold. The SLC and PAC were
transformed to aLas Vegas-esque setting ""i.th blackjack tables, acrobat
shows and reasonably priced hookers
working Ring Road.
A dance floor was set up in the
Great Hall. This metamorphosis was
done rather seamlessly. You would
never guess that homeless international students slept here. This particular venue was constantly buzzing
with frosh. There was one noticeable
feature on the dance floor - crop
circles so large, Nebraska wheat farms
would be proud. Hey, so frosh are
kinda shy, no big deal.

The Bomber ,,'as a venue too, but
it was deader than a crematorium on
Labour Day. The washrooms were
clean, though.
The PAC became a Mecca for fake
gambling. The black jack dealers played
their part to perfection. He!!, tideo cameras were set up to catch all cheatingfrosh.
Those caught would be taught a lesson fry
considerablY older Italian 'Jrosh leaders. "
As an aside, italicized text means
Heramboneis being facetious. Don't
get your knickers in a knot, Frosh
Orientation Committee.
The smaller gym offered swing
dancing lessons. That was cool except
the lights were too bright. I could
clearly see just howunderagedmost of
the frosh really were. Damn.
Finally, the second floor of the SLC
held deliciously scrumptious mocktails
served by delectable leaders. After
downing three, I fmallyworked up the
courage to apply my Macking 101 skills.
The basement of the SLC offered a
fashion show and an acrobat act from
Asia. I checked out the fashion show
but it was all guys modeling clothes. I
vacated quick. The acrobat show had
some freaking 111LF belly dancers
though. I give all MILF belly dancers
the Brown Fist of Approval.
Black and Gold Day

Hundreds of passionate frosh led
by exuberant leaders marched to CIF
on Saturday for a pep rally. These frosh
seemed hopped up on J olt cola, 'cuz
they were boisterous. I have not seen
this kind of revelty since Polka legend
\\I'alter Ostanek came to Kitchener last
year.
The main event was amen's rugby
dispute between \Y/aterloo and Laurier.
After last year's football debacle against
\X!estem, organizers thought a less
depressing event was required. This
year the football team lost 55-17 to
Mc1faster. At least they are improving.

Rugby was a foreign game to me.
Rather than diSSL'CtingthC intricacies of
the game, I noticed how various assgrabbing techniques allowed for a few
successful offensive penetrations. My
female compatriot ,vas impressed.
Alright, it turned me on, too.
The UW cheerleading team periodically motivated the crowd when
the action on the field became monotonous. They are a talented bunch
with gymnastic moves that would
make Nadia Comaneci blush. Apparently, there are a few SINGLE girls on
the team. Herambone gives single girls
on the cheerleading team the Brown
Fist of Approval.
The halftime show consisted of a
watermelon relay. It was riveting. \Y/aterloo defeated Laurier 19-17. Happy,
happy, joy, joy. And now our main
event ...
Toga Party

Toga Party - an event of biblical
proportions.
Chants of "Toga! Toga! Toga!"
reverberated in the air as early as six
o'clock. But they were told to shut
their mouths 'cuz toga started at seven.
The lineup of frosh was enormous.
It was an endless procession ofloincloth strapped lads and gals. There was
one dude in a Chewbacca outfit trying
to pickup.
Now this event was wet. Basically,
a small square area was set aside in the
field 'with tape around it, sort of like
the perimeter of a quarantine. If you
left the zone with booze, you would
be shot by snipers on the roof ofMC.
Anyhoo, thousands of frosh
danced till the wee hours of mom to
a DJ spinning mainstream tunes. I
haven't seen this much ",,1.ldness since
Polka Legend Walter Ostanek came to
Kitchener last year.
hramachandran@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IJ\:IPRINT

:F'E~t\rlJR,:f: S

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Minibus adventures

fewe1',boats. In any case, I happen to have a
copy;bfthe U}Vcourse calendar here with me.,
• 'ing bass and a name designed to strike fear into
Now l'b>s see" .• you mentioned that you were
" the hearts of pedestrians.
in 3B Science and Business, isn't that right?
. . In addition to the driver, each bus has a
According to the calendar, you need to take
second staffer whose job it is to recruit passenbusmess finance, two biology electives, statisgersforthebus. Therecruitmentprocess ismuch
.....,
like the, driving ~ aggressive. As soon as I
tics, aild the science. ana business.workshop~
NowyON see why I'm ,upset; How am 1 going
stepped into the loading area, I was s~ultanetake ail/hese courser andSfiil maintain 11q d e m a n d - ,
ously being pulled towards three different buses,
.' ._,
none ofwhich were goingwhere I wanted to go.
ThisWee~Adampi4s classes with Sit Wlnston ',ing role 4iiJtemational!1~n.()1IIfIed jotl1'1zaiist and,' ,
ChtttGiUlb,
'
" m(ln.dlioutrio~?My caJufflreJationship with Paris "PuJjlic ~sitmay be nianfi~iDSsin Cai:ul~but After figuring out that I wanted route 45, I was
Hilton al01l6 requ~res at least 40 hours a week.
I wouid never describe a ride.on Toronto:s Red un~eremoniously husded aboard the "Good to
~t: Settirlg:Toronto's Canoe Restaurant,
On the surface the<5tirlookmay.seelll~R,os1ret. ~ting:'g~~, the:<ltiv~ of, ,90" and bundled into the front seat (although
on Fhe'54tb.floo(2f;;;ite'foronto D6~n
Guyana
buSeshive,gppatfndytakclJ.itupon' ci1irlly aware that somewhere in one of the preBank'tower: Adam and Sir Winston are seated ,', btlt thereis always hope. These classes may be
at a table overlooking 'Bay Street, enjoying required for your program, but it's not as if
thetnselves to cOrnpens'ate for their country's lack departure briefings I was given,foreignpassenDorset lamb loin with cream spinach, as well ' . anyone will kill yquj[ you take something else,
of amUsement.pat:~bY'piloting their retondi- gets were advised to avoid the front seat).
'·ti<,>ned Toyo. With all Of the grace and subtlety
Befote the .sliding door had rattled into the
as aneJttremely dusty and obviously decaying is it? ' •'
Actudill, my mother mqy try.
ofa toller-coaster hurtlihgoffofits tracks. '..
closed position, the driver launched his packed
bottle of '45 Chateau Haut-Brion Bordeaux.
AJ: Winston, I InNstsqy, it'sapieasNre"to be here
You cantakeiler,Adam. We're going to
. Somecbnte~dsnec~s~.Thereatenofunc- bus into the late-aftemoon rush with a quick
1I'ithyqll. By the wqy, I've been meaning to compii- pick you out~~tne c<>:urses to expand your
tionaltraffic ijghts in Georgetown '(a city of stOmp on the gas pedal Other vehicles, pedesmen/JON on that bitchin' top hatYON are wearing. horizons - cotlrses yO,'tl will be proud to take.
250,000 people) and vetit~sidewalks and the
ttians and, even, buildings passed within mere
At& i_where 1 mightfind one?
'
Bu/what aboNimy dqgree?
nUes of the road are beShiescribed as open to inches of the battered Toyota. The bus burst
The thing you have to remember about
interpretation. Vehicles Dlerge, pass, tu1tl and through clogged intersections like a thread
JWG: It's from The Gap.
that
if
you
stick
around
long
accelerateaccordingtoasystemtPat~ssponta-t9Prughtheeyesofmu1tipleneedles,astheback
university
is
~! It't tpjckefiif8csh.,
Indeed it is. [Churchill sighs] Adam, you enough, you're bound to get some sort of neouslyevolvedovertittie.!
seat farecollectorbarkedout the street names.
degree eventually. Ittnay not be the one you
Within the Hobbesian worldtifGeorgetown
~tOronoqueStreetthe bus lurched to ahalt.
seem perturbed today. You've hardly touched
originallywanted,butthat's often for the best.
trafficonefiodsthemigibusPllblictransporta- I passed the collector40 Guyanese dollars (rougbly
your lamb, and you just drank a thousandtipn sy~tem. Thesy~telll i&ptil?ljc only in so far 25 cents) and happily jumped out of the still
dollar bottle ofwine in three gulps. Is anything Take me,for instance. Few people know that
before I earned my degree in British PrUne
the matter?
a~,~·1atgenumber of ¢oinmutets from all walks crowded bus. I immediately bought myself a
Wei" Winst(fn, l hate toburde11,you,but I'm Mini,sterialStudies, with minors in Wit and' . 6,fli(eare' sped to Wi)!'k wit\lln it, as the, buses drink and sat down.
upset ab(illt choosing 11q university classesfor this Mcohol Abuse, 1 actually started out in Comthemsdves areprivatelyown(;gand operated by
As opposed to the rules-based system of
(
semester.
puter:Science.
a'wide variety of people and cOmpanies. These driving in Canada (dedicated passing lanes, ad. , Comp;t~r Scienee? Didn'tyou go to school in the .bus drivers havemanaged to amassawe1l-eamed v.ancegreens), drlversin Guyanafollowa system
Don't talk to me about university! It's
nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.
1880s?
reputation as being the most aggressive ~d· that more resembles a group ofants commuting
Isn't that afamous quote ofyours describing the
I did! Of course, back in those days, tech~
reckless drivers in a country of poor roads and between hills. Cars jump into gaps in the traffic
nologywasb.'tquite up to current standards.
chronic speeders.
.
...
flow when they arise, and drivers move forward
naI!J?
The navy and unive~sityaremtich the same,
AfterworklastFriday I decidedlwas:teady for into intersections when they feel that they have
theminibusexp¢tienc6 .Jhik; .
.. s
. ~. ed long enough. Oddly enough, the system
but univFrsity has optional
"
......
s for thetnostpart. There SeeM$,t_m;
Market, wh~~ffi6reode/
converge. The.~entral sqmv:ewa$~~ witb." .·iaiiate understanding for the unwritten code of
.buses dfall colours and conditiot1s;~ decked:·: 'tl].eroad, enough thatwhen a driver is perceived
. out-and p~nalized by'theowner,~~; w\:Jeviolatingit, all of thesurroundingye~es
a bold name emblazoned up and dOwIl'th:e side ble'at their ho~~ in utrlson.
doors. I certainly had my choice of rides.l could
Then there are the manynuanc~s ofthe honk.
have gone home with the Lord on my side on the r ~ used to a horn blast meaning one of two
things - 1. ~'You are about to cut me off' or
''Born Again" bus, cruised home in· style in the
''Ride Right" orrekindledmylove forgangsta' tap "You cut me off you #@!*#."Here,ahonkcan
on the "'Thug Niggers" minibus.
mean "I'm passing now," "it's okay, you can
Aslfforsheerentertairunentvalue, these same go," ''1 am going now," "do you need a ride?"
miJ;ti-buses also serve as school. buses in and many things between. Of course, as an
Ge6rgetown; I am sure that every father looks inexperienced foreign pedestrian, the frantic horn
forward to thedaywhen he c'in btindleup his litde blaring ofan incoming minibus means only one
thing to me-as faras you may be from the road,
princess into the "HotIix"forherride to school
Maybe this is an innovation that we should get further.
consider in Canada. I would have been much
All things considered, the 70 University has
happier to use Grand River 'Transit ifI could have got nothing on the 45 "High Voltage."
ridden to UW in a fully personalized bus, with
blacked out windows, major league rims, pulsatcedey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

"CIIr,II",,'aau,"

to.M.,1 . ' URIII

04

Unsuspecting passengers embark on what may be their last bus ride

'rIrI)
. t 'I~S

L-'E.~Aj
I -~/rpR.IN;rrÂˇ
HI _ .,t
. .r
" .

â&#x20AC;˘

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17,2004

17

-'*~-'

Winston: on
co.lirse choice
Continued from page 16

Transistors were somewhatlatger
then than they are today. Actually, they
were just piles of sand with matcl:!d
stuck in them. We did have an early
version of Vice City, though. But I
digress. Look at the first class on your
list. Business finance. Now, exacdy
how.is that going to contribute to your
education?

Well...
. Don'tanswerthat,itwasarhetorical question. You, sir, would be best
advised to take a litde class I refer to as
"girl-ciology 101." A first year arts '
course, it is, as they say, chock full of
babes.

.Girl-ciology? Do you mean sociology?
I used to call it ho-dology until
Margaret Thatcher kicked me in the
neck. Neit, you need two biology
classes. You've written down immunology. Might I suggest you take fermentation biotechnology? Not only
is it a fourdi~year credit, it contains all
the information you need-to make a
rather corkingmoonshine.

Touche!
For your next choice, what about
taking human sexuality? Notofllydoes.
the textbook contain numerousfascinatfug illustrations, this class mig~t
finally help you understand your urge
to cross-dress.
Winston, we alrea4J discussed that. I

have a slender waist and it's totallY a matter

rif comfort. But I do agree withyour recommen-dation.

UNIVERSITIES
AND SCHOOLS

CALL CENTRES

Graduate Teaching
Assistants at the
University of Western
Ontario recently voted
100% in favour of their.,
renewed union contract.

CASINOS, SLOTS
& RACETRACKS

SECURITY
OFFICERS

Georgian Dawns Slots'
employees are organizing
for respect and dignity at
work On June 1st, 2004
Georgian Downs Racetrack
workers voted to join PSAC!

On December 2, 2003
150 Commissionaires
working at the Toronto
Airport ratified their first

.

Next, your statistics course. It seems
to be only offered at.9:30. I recommend you take this class here! Itdoesn't
start until2:30!

.'limnology? What does that mean?
I seem to recall it being the study of
not waking up at 8:30 a.m. Consider
this an opportunity to broaden your
horizons, my boy.

Visit the Ontario Region Organizing website at

.

~

to obtain more information about PSAC, or

Sounds good to me!

REGIONAL

Now, that only leaves one requit;ed
. class, Science and Business workshop.

ECl{)', Winston, that 'one is not nef!,oliable. Science and business workshop is
fun, informative and just the thing to
prepare the minds riftomorrowfor success in
tod~'s fast-paced biotechnology industry.
I certainly agree! Not only is the
class world renowned, Prof. Neil,
Richardson is reputed to be O!1e of the
finest educators the discipline has to
offer. So you see, Adam, choosing
yo.ur classes isn't so hard! You just
have to remember that university i~ it
.time not only to learn about your
major, but about yourself. It's not just
aboutmasteringan academic field, but' ,
about broadening your horizons, gain- .
ing confidence in yoUr abilities and
learning how to learn. It's also about
drinking, sex and sleepingin. I encourage this wholeheartedly.

So, in other words, l?J not engaging in
this behaviour, Iwould be letting the Nails
win?
I'm sorry,,:you just took that joke
too far.
Epilogue: Adam's blatant brownnosing of his science and' business
professor worked like a charm. He
fonowed Sir Churchill's advice and
. graduated with a major in limnology.
He is still not sure what it is.
ajohns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

~

http://www.psac.com/OntariolwhatlorganizinglOiganizing.htm and click on the Union card'graphic

rln In a message t th
The Flying Buttresses take over Cambridge
Dave George-Cosh

"Rock and roll is dead!" These ate
words otherwise sneered at in today's pretentious music mags, but
are deeply heartfelt coming from
JonathanTyrrell, vocalist and multiinstrumentalist for The Flying Buttresses, the latest band to come out
of the burgeoning Halifax music
sct:nc. Only there's a catch - these
guys have hometown roots as well.
a myriad of UW architecture and engineering grads, The Buttresses are embarking on a Canada··
wide tour, supporting their latest
release, The SNit Releases El'er)'thing.
The name of the band may leave
some people scratching their heads,
especially since a Google search reveals they share it with a goth band
fromN e\v York. "\\'e were all archi··
rects back in first year, and it started
out as a joke, but since then it's
represented us as well as a bridge
between arts and the sciences. And
v:e didn't want to be too serious or

beginning. "We lived in a place in
south Halifax with no water or hcat
during the winter and were really just
scraping by. After playing
coffeehouses at the Bomber, we eventually decided that we wanted to make
a go with [the band). But, in order to
really focus, we had to get away from
the social scene in Watedoo and start
fresh. The east coast seemed to be
really open-minded and agood place
to start. It's strange to go to a city
that is so focused on live music and
not know a soul. It's a great way to
measure your success as a band."
\X!aterloo's connection has definitely helped The Flying Buttresses
launch a fan base across the count!"y.
In fact, MacKay's co-op expel1cncein
Yellowknife led to a month-long,
cross-country tour. "\Ve took a '92
Dodge Caravan stuffed with four guys
and gear and managed to make it all
the way to Yellowknife and Vancouver, which was aluazing.lt was bcfore
we really got serious about our live
shows-·and the people in
Yellowknife treated us like rock stars.

Tyrrell, along with band members Jim Barr, Don MacKay and
Brian A. Urbanik moved from Ontario to Nova Scotia in September
2003---- and it wasn't all rosy at the

and meet som.c great people, espc.cially through our car troubles (touting van 'Raspberry' is an unofficial
fifth member of the band)."
Citing communication as the most
essential factor thatdle band strives to

The Flying Buttresses sitting on a ledge. How rock and roll!
perfect in their music, Tyrrell is adatheir live sh()\.-vs.

vibe of the evening, we try to write a
setlist to accommodate that. There's
a big jam-band scene in Halifax, so we
try to do a lot of improvisational stuff
to get people on the dance floor.

found that if you're sensitive to your
audience and sensitive to the music
you're playing, then that's when you
really love what you're doing."
'The FlyingButtresses and their trusty

van will be stopping in Cambridge
\\"ed'lt.~~;dav, S,'·>"""P'·"~V'" 23 for a
and dIversity atthe Fiddler's Green. More info
on the band can be found at
\V\vw.bllttre~l:l:h

dgeorgec@imprint,uwaterloo.ca

tape Masterpiece: Songs that'll make you laugh
Mark Stratford
----

~.~.-----~.---,-.,------~--~----

IMPRINT 5TAFF

-,

-

Have you ever been around a group
of people - say, waiting for a bus or
riding in an elevator---- and spontafleously~tarted to laugh, lea<ling those
around you to dismissively assume
you are mentally handicapped? It's
such a huzzkill; something so beautiful as an effective dose· of humour
followed by a healthy release shot to
hell by others just because they aren't
feeling it. Are we so jaded that individualized laughter is a social stigma?
(Incidentally, 1 have a problem \vith
bursting into melodrama as well.)
As a big fan of cjuirkiness (especially in music), allow me to suggest
some effective options for your next
long night of downloading-- .. songs
thatwill elicit a smile Of chuckle from
you at inopportune times simply
because they're ... well, very different
hom the typical musings oflatter-day
rock ("I'm dark and misunderstood
so fear me") and R&B ("Getro' hands
off my man, Lakeisha!"). Let's all
lighten up a bit; here's· how.
Liz Phair - "Fuck And Run"
, this is kind of a cheat. Tlus \vlll
make you smile, but a \.\"incing, de··

feated smite, because, just like this
song's narrator, you've woken up
before with someone you know is
toxic and who wants nothing more
than for you to get dressed and exit
stage left. For such a bitter memory,
the maiden Phair sure Joes make it
sound good. From the simple yet
addictive bare guitar melody to the
sweet pining for "all that st1.1pid old
shit/Like letters and sodas." Accidental sex with emotion~J conse-·
quences -- who'd have thunk it?
Boney M - "Rasputin"
Hands dO\vn the catchiest song of the
'70s on the subject of sabotaging a
mystical healing 1"nonk because hc
drank too much booze and nailed
everything in Russia possessing
estrogen. Incidentally, that indelible
"Rah, Rah, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine" chorus would still
to this day make for a wonderful
cheerleader mantra at any
undiscriminating high schoo! pep
raUy.
Divinyls - "I Touch Myself"
A pc; -13 pop hit that obviously cd·
ebrates masturbation is
to be
remembered no matter \,vhicb way
Lauper's
you slice it.

"She Bop", you're disqualificd for
being too esoteric.) I'll admittha t the
Aussie chick is a little heavy on the
gasping, but chanting along to "I
don't want anybody else/\X'li'en I
thi..'1k about you 1 touch myself" in
any social establishment or parking
lot is a call for sm.iles both knowing
and naughty. Except around cops,
who I fcd are getting way too prudish.
Gilda Radner -"Let's Talk Dirty
To The Animals"
In this live recording, thc late Gilda
Radner -_. one of the only not-rdegated-to-the-background female
players everto graduate from SNL-·reasons that the best way to interact
,vith the bizarre mating calls and
friendJy noises of the animal kingdom is to curse a blue streak. "Fuck
you, Mr. Bunny," she joyously sings.
"Eat shit, Mr. Bear." Gotta love that
moxie.
Peaches - "Fuel< The Pain Away"
The first 30 seconds of this song .__ .
a fat, sleazy melody jarred by a plainJane voice rapping "Suckin' on my
titties like you \\Canted mel Callin' me
aU the time" --..-. is guaranteed to make
you \vet your pams in unadulterated

Park - "Uncle Fucka"
The most obvious track on this
list, true, but an insanely funny song.
You need the soundtrack from the
South Park because, simply put, it is
a superb attack on the pomposity of
musicals, in that too often, music
that is soulful, classical or ol'chcstralis
weighed down by elementary lyrics
thatlack emolionalresonance. So you
might as ,vell call someone an uncle
fucker instead, J.1ghe

limp Bizkit - "Rollin'"
Tee hee, Ncn:>,' rhis is
run shit.

Terrance and Phillip from South

mstratford@imprint.uw3terioo.ca

1

FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

19

Oliver Black is going to make you sweat
Ela Malkovsky
IMPRINT STAFF

New to Waterloo, Oliver Black is certainlynotnewtothe game. Openingfor
Three Days Grace on Friday night this
nine month old quartetwill bring sweat
and screams to Fed Hall Imprint got to
chatwith Serena and Gregaboutmusic,
university and the meaning of fun.

p-----------~--------.

: You may be hot- :
:I but we're cool!

:I

I
I
I
I

I
I
I
I
I
I

TRY OUR NEW CHEESECAKE FLA VOURSI

I
I

~

~'~ ~tl__IJA\i~'-.MB~

Imprint OliverBlack, how didYOU!!!JS
come up with that name?
Greg: Basically, we needed a name
that had a good ring to it, to make it
soundlikeitwas amale fucking band so
when youseeusitmakesyou thinkalitde
bitbecauseyou'regonnabeexpectinga
guy to be named Oliver and that's not
the case at all

"A neo rock and roll thing."

Howdidyou allmeetantlhook up toform
abtmd?
Serena: We're all from the same area

Black for about nine months and that's
when we've been playing with these
great bands.

COURTESY OF OUVER BlACK

-whimffiW~~mbe~N~

Falls and St Catharines. The three guys
werema band beforewithoutme. They
had a different singer and I Was m a
different band at the time and we kinda
just amalgamated as a cover band wtially, and then we switmed over to
writing originals when we fdtcomfort:able enough.

You all have pretty df/fereflt i1iflnences so
what kind ofstYles are riflected inyourmusic?
S: Together we sound just like a
classicrockmfluenced band! would say
we just have an older edge to the music,
butit's stillmodemaswell 'cause it's our
spm on it It's a neo-rock and roll thing,
a classic sound.

Y0I1!!!JS do quite afen l covers. Can WI! be
expecting to se~your own show soon?
S: Oh yeah, Oliver Black shows are
original shows, they just have like one
cover to pay homage to the people that
mspireus.

What doyou think the stndcnts ofUW'
should expectjrollJ the show?
S:Alotofsu-"eat, acoupleofswearing
words! (laughs.) Loud rock music and a
really energetic show, alot ofscreaming,
and a lot of good times.

You like p~g unitmi!J 1Jt1!m!s?
S: University venues are .awesome
'cause the kids just wanna have fun.
We're all the same age so its like ''lets
party."

Is there agmeral message thatyou try to
deliver with the music and the fyrics?
. S: Just being true to yourself and
writing about what you're feding.

I
I
I
I
I
I
II
•

I personalfy haven't heard aboutyou!f!YS
and I'm sure that I'm not the onfy one in
Watetioo, so whatwouldattractpeople to come
and seeyou?
S: A lot of people don't know who
we are which ffi fine. We're a very new
band and I just hope they take arukand
come out to see a live band. For the
showwe got stickers, buttons, T-shirts,
butno music righ.tnow. There's music
on the Web site which is
OIiverBlaclu'\iusic.oom..

"No doc has burrowed SO deeply
into the bruised egos, arrested
development ancIlnternaI conflict
dial make up a superstar band."
• Chris Ifognar. Dallas Morning News

IwilJparsthatme.ssagerm,antlitwargreat
getting to know you, which all Waterloo
stuJmts can do on Fridqy when OliverBlack
~iU be openingfor Three Dqys Grace at Fed
Hall, so get up and come check it out.

"Don't let anyone spoil the surprises of this thrash...., thriiOng
chunk of cinematic gold. It's
one for the dme capsule."

emalkovsky@imprinluwaterloo.ca

Tea Party's newest release:~Not terrible

- Peter Travers, Romng Slone

SEPT 17 - 20

yet not spectacular

www.princesscinema.com
6 Princess Street West • Waterloo' 885-2950

THE TEA PARTY
SEVEN CIRCLES
2004EMI Music Canada

Laura Katsirdakis
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

The Tea Party may well have set the
bar a little too high even for themselves. Their newest addition, entitled Seven Circles, is certainly not
a bad album. Anyone who listened
to their last album, The Interzone
Afalltras, knows exactly what a bad

album sounds like.
Seven Circles has some
songs worth listening to
more than once, but on the
whole it simply does not
compare to Splendour Solace
or Edges of Twilight.
Those albums were enchanted, unique and masterful. Jeff Martin's vocals
were haunting and inspired.
Since then things have
gone downhill. Every band
seems to feel compelled to
change as their careers
progress, but in the case of The Tea
Party, change means growing more
bland and almost boring. It must
be hard to live up to one's own
standards when they have been set
so high, but I'm sure I am not the
only one who expected more of
The Tea Party.
When Triptych hit the stands, it
was apparent that the group had
moved in a more mainstream direction. Not only the music, but
the lyrics shifted away from the
band's characteristically dark and

brooding tone. The move was
slight and perhaps only the seasoned fan would notice the change.
However, when l¥!antras came
out, the entire album was filled
with songs below the par Triptych
had established. Seven Circles is a
return to Triptych's level, in terms
of music but not in terms oflyrics.
Yet even the best songs on the new
album are only as 'good as the .
blander pieces on Triptych.
Anyone who has never listened
to and fallen in love with The Tea
Party's earlier work will probably
find nothing wrong with this album at all.
Theone thing that is truly lacking in this album is Martin's dark
and pessimistic tone. One cannot
help but be spellbound by the passion of an artist who is. creating
from the depths of himself; and
this album seems to skim the selfdestructive, tortured substance
that Martin has drawn from for the
majority of his career so far.
editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Q

< 25 T;;-;';r-;,;;-;,:c; An-;:s1
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artifacts. This time, instead ofshippattS, you ate '.".... '. ...... ." ..
tracking down treaSures like batteries.ttushedtin ,. Dre~s .yOl!£ Family iil Corducans and other 'eaithly garbage.
.
roY8Jld Jiijnfm
.; The real beauty of the gam!! ,co01esi #tthi . Da\ri4.:Se.iJ··
sounds. Personally, I'm not a sound ,guy. It' .. UtuEI;erOwrif'Jblishins·
usually doesn't ma!re much differenee to me.but·
this game was impressive. The voiceovers ate DavidSedaris's latestb~k,1)mi .
YONr FamiIY..in Cortltiiqy amJ Ii~,
donewell, atid the Pikmin make cute littlegrunt~
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is a collection of27essays baSed()il
Gain,ecube
()ur spaceship also' functions as ap10bile .the~thor's·reallif~;The bQok is .
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marketing department: each time .you .fi!:td'>a: ,laidputonatime...Jin¢ tlulgoughiy
The originalP~ usht;red ~allew style. of treasure, it names it. The geniuS of the Wtiters, .·conesponds to the progression.of ....
showStijr()ugh,ht:re;youknowwhateachoh)ett. :£eclatis' life from childhOod. to .'
squad-management basecigaming. Objectives
'. .adulth()oa}H:6wever;the'Stoties
were. c()mpletedby<;Q.tprrul11.ding,.interugent: is, but the names created are absurd. .
Thegame;contrOls are well thought out. ~echoosestos~aren()tthe¥'
plant~creature hybridst()d~your bidding. The
sequel seekS to prove ,this formula can 'work They.allowyouto control Olimar or Louie \ pointsormajoreventsinhislife,a
mish~mash assortment ofeXperiagain, w~e providing yet aqother intri,guing with the li:ft, th1.ilI1bstick, and move your
Pikmin
group
With
theC-stick.
Switching
he-'
ences.
and fungarqe..
'tWeen
the
captaitls
only
requires
a
push
of
the
There \ is no question that:
Th~gamefofiows the adventures ofCaptain
X button.
Sedans' is a gifted writer. Yet,
O~and his mildly retarded cohort, Louie.
Compared to the first game, the graphics
despite the hype6urrounding his
They:atedispatched to a diffetentplanet (yes, the
and genaral game mechanics have been cleaned comic abilities, this is notstri,cdy
same one Olirnat previotislycl1lshed on, and
alaugh-out-Ioud book from start
just escaped) to collect trt;asure With which to up. They added a few new Pikminwith differbail their employer out of debt. The debt, a ent abilitie~, shaking up the problem-solving to Hnish - this is a book that's
more interesting for its honesty
result of a shipment ofcarrots being.eaten by;' aspect.a little bit.
Qverall,Piklnin 2 is a great diversion. It's a and Understated satire.
a space bunny, essentially-represents theem:\of
Sedaris satirizes avanety of
game you can pick up and play for 20 minutes,
the game.
'" Just afterlanding onthe planet, Olimat and or five hours. The gameplay is exciting and targets alld yet none more thati
Louiehappe.n 00, some Pilunin.ExcellentTlfly inoovative, while still being practical and pol- himself. We get an insider's tour of his life and
family, with special emphasis on his underaished.'·
.
plant rninionstod~ yqur bidding.
chiever years Jiving as a druggie in his parents'
I strongly recommend this for anybody
, The twQ capt~scan be controlled sepahome
as alonely wannabe hippie-beggar. His
rately,. or both in one group. This wasin~ that~sintert!stcd in trying something new.
as a successful writer in a steady
later
years
tended to add a more strategic dynamic to the
relationship
get comparatively little ink.
i§ barely used fo~:puzzle l>.V'~·"'~,
Through astute observation, Sedans makes
<:OVert jabs at the cliques;wealthy,:,guburbia"
sman towns, family relationships and America.
Sedaris' siblings and parents are prominendy
featured ~ his stories as are his OCD and
homosexuality. He is surprisingly and sometimes painfully honest about theembarrass~
ing moments in his life (and his family's) while
somehow mosdy managing to sidestep both
pat conclusions and melodramatic self-pity.

llmll.luclak.·

l.;IP

Pikmin2
c"·

"~"

/'

ex

While Sedans exposes the wettdness ofthe
outwardly mundane, he Simultaneously
underplays those experiences thit'he'shad
that are truly shocking. For example, when
Sedans recounts a time when he is inistaken
for atid treated as an x-rated es-cort by an older
man, he manages to tell the story in an almost
fl;\istratingly,i:natter~of-factway.

This book is a blend of melancholy and
amusing anecdotes. Here's a sampler:
In "Repeat After Me", we're introduced to
sister' Lisa who, among other things, has
trained her parrot to be her emotional cheerleader - itcons"tandy repeats "Yau can do it!"
Later, we're told, when Lisa regains her confidence, the parrot adopts the far more practical
''Where are my keys?"
'In "sii to Eight Black Men", Sedarisdiscusses how both roosters' crowing and the
idea of Santa are different the world over. In
focu~es
refererice to the gift~deemphasizing European
Christmas, Sedans writes: "I suppose it's fine
for those who prefer food and family to things
ordinary~
of real value."
In "Baby Einstein", Sedaris captures the
minutiae that are both silly and profound in
what anew baby does to ftrst-time parents
(notably, baby's ftrst turds). In "Nuit of the
Living Dead", Sedaris tUrns an incident of
tourists asking directions into' the question of
what strangers would think of our odd little
lives if they were shown our real, uncensored,
unsanitizedhomes~ the way it looks before
you tidy up for company.
Dress YONr Fa11li&is worth a read if only for .~
one of the funniest lines I've come across: "I
ain't getting dressed up to eat no ftsh-assedta,sting chicken." Sedans has a way of slipping
The author seems determined· to shine a in great lines like that. Another one of my
light on everyday absurdities - he like's to . favourites comes early in the book, an astute
observation on human nature: " .. but friendwrite about the odd and'nonse1;lsiCal things
that people think and do on a daily basis. He .ship would have taken away their mystery and
focuses on incidents that look ordinary, even interfered with the good feeling I got from
boring; but actually involve complex aild· pitying them. So I kept my distance."
emotional internal monologues and psycho- .
David Sedaris is a semi-regular radio contributor on National Public. Radio and has
logical struggles. One such story is about the
seeming non:Oevent of helpmg it boy carty authored other successful autobiographical
beverages; he. takes us through rus inner books, Naked-and Me Talk Pretry One Dqy. As
thoughts, which involve tremendous impulse a side note, he's also the brother of Satur'dqy
control to resist doing something that would, Night Live performer Amy Sedaris.
he feels, be interpreted as abhorrent (touching
the boy's head).
Serena Wong, Imprint staff

Yoga positions are one of the many things you'll see during Nijinsky Through a Window.

Filling an empty space for Waterloo
Jude Doble

Phil Wang, who played the title role
ofNijinsky, said the actors worked in
character"to create and discoveremotions, relationships, conflict - any~'hen there is a call for an audition, an
actor typically tries out for a partin an
thing as long as it was intensely enthralling." There were no right or .
existing play. Not the case with MT
wrong ideas that could be suggested;
Space, KW's newest theatre company.
but whatever the group didn't agree
Each project starts with a theme
and it is the actors and director_ \on was dismissed.
work together, over several weeks, to
For Nicholas Cumming. another
develop the concept, the script, and the
UW grad, this was an exciting element. "The entire cast contributed to
movements for the production. Every
the actions, movements and strucplayer is charged with the responsibiltures of the
ity of making the
performance an
scenes ... at no
There were no
engaging experi- .
tirnewere our roles
ence for both the
singularly our
right or wrong
cast and the audiown,"
said
ideas that could . Cummings.
ence.
For artistic ditar
be suggested b':lt saidBou-Ma
rector MajdiBouthe cast chose
whatever the
Matar, the KW
themes
that
arts community
"refl~ct[ed] upon
group didn't
had an "empty
our personal conspace" that he felt
agree on, was
cerns and anxiecould be filled by
ties, questions
dismissed.
developing a
dealing with love,
multicultural
hate, gender iden:.
theatre (Mf) group, where diverse
tities, religion, war, power and fame."
professional performers could colThe result was an unusual and interlaboratively develop ideas. To build
esting blend of languorous and frethe foundation for this non-tradinetic movements dispersed between
tional theatre company, Bou-Matal:
brief yet intense emotio~al mononeeded a group of young people to
logues.
commit weeks of their lives to de"The language of movement is
velop this performance piece together.
universal and crosses cultutes," said
The first theatrical experience for
Bou-Matar, adding it does so in a way
MT Space, Nijinslg Through a Winthat is not limited by language. In this
dow, was showcased on August 28 at way, the actors with Asian, Eastern
the Theatre of the'Arts. A cast of flVe,
European and :Middle Eastern backmade up of one UW student and
grounds conveyed a message that
several recent UW grads, donned the
went beyond the content of words,
bare stage to explore the tutbulentlife
expressing human misery and angst,
of legendary Russian ballet dancer,
through movement and sound.
Vaslav Nijinsky, one of this century's
The presentation of Nijinsky's
ballet company, Ballets Rousses, was
greatest ballet dancers. The performance was a glimpse into the life of a
fun and sassy. lively French jazz music
talented man which was marred by
played as a single hand, foot or bUm
jealousy, loss and schizophrenia.
appeared from behind several backThe cast, with help from UW
drops. The farcicaland coy scene added
dram~ Prof. Andrew Houston and
some levity to the heavy themes exlocaL dramaturge, J asminka Klacar,
plored. The theatrical acrobatics and
spentthesummercreatingachallengphysically entwined bodies \rere akin
ing performance. It was shy on diato an evening of Cirque du Soleil
logue and big on interpretive movemeets Kids in the Hall.
ment.
The cast of NijiflSlg Through a
S},stems design engineering grad
W7indow entertained, moved, surSPECIAL TO IMPRINT

prised and at times wowed the audience by the level of physical determination demonstrated. UW grad Julia
Turzanski's exhaustive dance as a
harlequin charmed and amused. As
MT Space's first attempt at collaborative performance creation was a
success, future projects will be worth
checking out.
N~ T~t3lfJUwis begin-

ning its next phase of development,
where the full-fledged production will
premiere in the Festival du Monde
AmbeinMontreal this November. ~IT
Space is loo~ fot\\'al:d to wol:king
with more artists from diverse cultural
backgrounds for this and futute productions. The curious can inquire furtheratthemtspace@hotmail.com.

,

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465
PHILLIP STREET
LOCATION
ONLY

746 6893

UMlTEDTlME O F F E R '

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22

FRIDAY, ,SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

CLASSIFIEDS
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production by producin~.as many. first
SE~VICES
proofs as possible. Candidates should be
Silence
Cycles
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proficient with Adob~ PageMaker 6.5
builds, adjustments and full overhauls
and' Photoshop.. Kitowledge of Quark
Weekend counsellors and relief staff to
lERMSU8SCRIPTIONS
for all makes/modeis. Complete tuneups
work in homes for individuals with develand Indesign are strong assets. H inter$35. Call for other priciilg -lowest prices
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opmentat challenges. Minimum eightested, bring your resume to Laura
in K-W. Call 883~1297 or e-mail
monthcommirment. Paid positions. Send
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Summer $8.00
resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation
Centre
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Services, 108 Sydney Stree;:, Kitchener,
ediior@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.
Firuuice your education with your own
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sultation with volunte.ers .for. app'roxi1990 Chevy Caprice dassic - many new
1238 Main Street, Sheffield. OntariQ,
N2G 3Y9, Attention: Linda.
cellent condition; $2000, e-mail . .mately 10 hours Per. week Also to act as
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tamm.de or cali 995~1211,
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ext
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bririg your resume td Laura Katsirdakis,
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rooili1116,Student Life Centre or e-, week.EulItraining~dgoodsalarywithin
coal, four'door, 2.4 L, fouf'qelindet,
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Now hiring for kitchen positions at Mel's
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100, next to Loose Change Louis.
tions for women and men at 22 King
will help ensure production rUns
Waitresses/waiters needed part-time at
Street, S,., Waterloo, between O.w.
/
smoqthly. The production assistant's
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Sports and Home Hardware. Open Monmainpriority is to ensure the speedy
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completion of layouts, including maxiW., Waterloo, comer of Phillip and Unicalculus. Please e-mail Mouli at
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'HOUSING

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TUTORS

UPCOMING
Wednescby, September 22, 2004
Waterloo-Germany exchange session the Germanic and Slavic department is
holding an information session on
Wednesday, September 22 from 3:30 to
5:00 p.m. in ML245. The exchange is
open to all students. For' further .
informtion visit the web site at
http:-germanicandslavic.uwaterloo.cal
exchange/.
Thur~day, September 23. 2004
UW Hi~ory Society invest all students,
aIlyem, all programs, to our firstnieeting
this year:Many interesting positions available. Free pizza. Hagey Hall reading room,
HH117 at 5:00p.m.
0

Take your vitamins, have a beer!
Western study finds that drinking suds can help your blood
Mark Johnson
IMPRINT STAFF

A new study recently completed at
the University of Western Ontario
indicates that drinking beer has the
same health effects as drinking red
wine. Researchers 'discovered 'that
tJ:te polyphenols' in beer - substances derived from barley boost antioxidant activity in the,
blood, helping to fight cancer, he~ "
disease and cataracts.
This follows previous research
which, determined that modeiate
consumption of alcohol increases
levels of HDL, or g00d cholesterol. It also thins the blood, helping to slow stiffening of the arteries
and prevent clots that cause heart
attacks. E.ffe.cts are more or less the
same whether light, regular or alcohol-free't~e; consumed.
,:Befoie yourun out to the heer
store, here's the catch: the study
also found that one bottle-of beer
in a 24-hour period had the aforementioned positive health effects,
but,going overboard with three or

is

, more beers makes the blood "prooxidant" and has the opposite ef.:.
feet. Heavy drinking can cause high .
blood pressure and can alsodam-~
age th~ brain and liver, therefore
cancelling out any posSible benefits
to the heart.
, "AnotherrecentstudyatHarvard
University Medical School found
, that p"eople who drink moder~tely
at least three times a weekhad onethird fewer heart attacks than non:
drinkers ~nd itdoesn't matter what
sort of'alcohol is consumed. Moderate alcohol consumption ,also incr,eases the survival rate for heart
attacks 'by 32 percent. Those who
abstained from alcohol completely
had the highest ris~ of heart failure;
Doctors ~till shy away from recomm(!nding drinking to patients as
a, method of maintaining good
health.
So, raise a toast! However, please
remember that the health benefits
do O:ot extend to those who drink
and drive!
mjohnson@imprin!.uwaterloo.ca

Hmm, which is healthier? New studies show both are goo~ for you, but only in moderation.

Dirty pictures, PCBs and recycled barges

Penny Michelle Rorke
and Tim Mollison

used ac'ross faculties 'for such
,things as developing economic
models and b10medical modelling,
to research into
"green
'nanotechnology," UW will soon
gleam with spanking new equipment funded by' the CFI.
The math, engineering, applied
health stuilies and science faculties will be the primary beneficiaries of the funding.

IMPRINT STAFF,

Money, that's what I want
The Canada Foundation for Inno'vation's New Opportunities Fund
has awarded a total of$1.3 million
to five research.ers on campus.
From new supercomputers to be

when openAng a me or viewing a
coded image. But don't worry, you
can download the patch at
www.mlcrosoft.com/security.
Poor polar bears
The World Wili:llife Fund is demandingmore bans on {oxic industrial chemicals. The 22,000 polar bears in the Arctic are suffering
from lingering PCBs and pesticides that are swept north from
the nations in the south: Studies
link these chemicals to tJ:te lack of
antibodies in their blood, which
makes them prone to infection.
"Altered hormone levels were found
to cause reproductive and behaviour problems as well.

J claim this ship in the name
of science!
A 15 year-old US naval ship has
been given to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Adminis,ation. The Navy will spend two
years and 18 million US dollars to
refurbish the ship and equip it for
its new- role. The ship will study
the deep-ocean environment, from
marine life and ocean dynamics to
oil and natural gas reserves. New'
sensorswm make it possible to
scan and map the ocean floor. It
will also be engineered to transmit
images and data so that other scientists - and even teachers and
students.,....,.. can watch research as
it happ~ns.

Hurricanes to get stronger
Scientists told the U.S. Senate
Commerce Committee last
Wednesday that global warming
will result in more fierce hurri~
canes in the future. However;
the scientific community is split
over the issue. A group of ten
climatologists sent a letter to the'
head of the committee challenging the claim, stating that there
was no scientific evidence of a
definite correlation between the
two. The United States is the
world's largest producer of greenhouse gases.
mprorke@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
tmollison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

After winning fow: of their last six
games, the UW men's baseball team
has already nearly matched their win
total of eight from last season. This is
goodnewsforheadcoachBrianBishop, .
who saw his teamsweep the McMaster
'Marauders in' last Saturday's
doubleheader action, 3-0 and 19-6,
and earn a split in a doubleheader
against U ofT on 'Sunday, 8-0 and 02. On Monday, with both games being
played at Guelph's Hastings Stadium,
Waterloo lost 3-2 to Guelph and won
4-2 against Western.
With these fourwins, the Warriors
moved to i 5·:3-0 (win-loss-tie) record
this season, climbing into first place in
the league.
However, perennial contender
Brock slipped into a tie with the idle
Warriors after beating U of T on
Tuesday night with a 2-1 win. Then,
with Wednesday night's 3-0 win over
McMaster, Brock stole the top spot
away from UW completely.

However, therealst:oryoftheweekend for the Warriors was rookie pitch·ingsensation Shane Riley, who got the
start in the first doubleheader game
against the U of T Varsity Blues on
$unday. Riley had eight s1:rikeou~ and
· five walks on his way to a complete
· gameno-hitter-the fiistin Warrior
history. UWwenton to cruise to an 8Ovictoty.
The rookie's no-hitterperfonnailce
• was defini!ely "a surprise" for his coach;
however, Bishop said he knew that
Riley nad some good stuff.
"I didn't know much about him,"
offered Bishop by phone. ''It's always
a little surprising when"a pitcher gets a
no-hitter.
''I knew he had the ability to shut
teams down."
But just because Riley has had two
impressive starts so far this season,
don't expect to see him start every
game. The league'S schedule, which
features lots of doubleheaders and
· gameson consecutive days, is setup so
that teams must have more than two
good starting pitchers. Bishop said

that this bars any team with just one
standout pitcher from garnering an
unfair advanmge over other clubs in
tl}e league.
. Nevertheless, the Warriors coachis
extremely excited about his pitching
staff this season. He said thathe has
already received strong outings from
pitchers Wes Koch, Dave CorneJ.i.us
and Andrew Radcliffe.
When asked what the reasons were
for the team's eaHy season success,
coach Bishop pointed to all the pieces
coming together at the right time.
"We've had really good starting
pitchers. That's been a part of [our .
success]," commented Bishop. As well,
beingpatientattheplate has helped the
Warriors draw more walks and pro-.
dtice some offence. On defence, UW
has been exceptional, added Bishop.
Putting runs on the board is once
again a bitofa concem for the Wartiors.
Bishopsaid that this is one of the areas
where his team still needs improvement.
''We stillhave to hita bit better. We
need more clutch hitting," mentioned

Bishop 'after his club stranded
coundess runners
onbaseinthelast
few games.
Despite having II. couple of
things to work
on in practice,
-Bishop is definitely happy
with his team's
odds of going
the distance this
season.
"I like our
chances if we
make the playoffs with
ourstartingpitching," he
said.
Nextup, Waterloo fa<;es
off against Western in a
doubleheader on September 18 in London. The
games will start at 1 p.m.
and 3:30 p.rn.
JULIAN APONG

rmclachlan@imprint.

HITOSHI MURAKAMI

Football Warriors set to host home opener versus York
defense and special teams) are getting .
petter and better, but they're not there
yet."
_ The Warriors began their season
Even though the UW football team
has kicked offtheir season with backfacing the Ottawa Gee Gees on the
to-back losses, optimism is high for
road and, although the game may have
the rebuilding Warriors.
seemed like a mismatch oil paper, the
UW opened the 2004 schedule with
Warriors gave their opponents asmuch
a heartbreaking double-overtime loss
as they could handle.
UWheldthe Gee Gees to six points
to Ottawa, 24-23, before being,manin the first half, helped along ,by a
handled by the McMaster Marauders
55-17 last weekend. But with their
sttong defensive presence and some
home opener slated f0r tomorrow
turnovers by Ottawa.
(Septemberr 18), expectations arehigh
The Gee Gees tied the game on a
for the young Warriors squad.
· touchdown in the closing moments
. ''We'recoming;Uongprettygood,''
beforewinningthe gameirithe second
overtime drive, when' a 10-yard field
said UW head coach Chris Triantafilou.
"Allthree aspects ofthe game (offense,
goal attempt by Ottawa's Aia

Adam McGuire
IMPRINT STAFF

Tchobanian missed wide but floated
out of the end zone for a rouge and a
single point.
While Triantafilou said the loss
was tough for his team to take, he was
quick to add the experience of overtime will prove beneficial for his young
team.
"Having that experience going
through overtime is invaluable for
everyone," Triantafilou said.
The second game of2004 saw the
Warriors face superstar running back
jesse Lumsden and the four-tithe'
defendingOUA champion McMaster
Marauders in Hamilton. UW was in
tough from the beginning, as Mac
cruised to a 55-17 victory in their home

. opener. Lumsdenranroughshodover
the Warriors defense, racking up 344
yards on 24 carries - including a 108yard touchdown scamper, coming
within five yards of the OUA single~
game nIshing record. Lumsden 1I1so
became the most prolific rusherin the
province's history, breaking the career
rushitfg record of 2,863 yards set by
former Marauder Kyle Pyear.
"It . was something else,"
Triantafilou said of Lumsden's performance. "He's an elite athlete in this
league; he's one of those guys who's
better than all the kids before him."
UW quarterbackJon Morbeyw!ls
strong in both games, throwing 'for
406 yards and four touchdowns.

The Warriors will host the York
Lions tomorrow in their home opener,
which will be broadcast nationwide on
The SCQre television network. While
Triantafilouadmits there will be added
jitters before the game for his inexperienced squad, he doesn't expect the
exposure to rattle the Warrio):s.
"It's just another football game,"
Triantafiloucommented. "When that .
ball is kicked, we just have to be f<?cused."
Game time from University Stadium is, 2 p.m.

TORY WESTBROOK, SOCCER
Shane tossed a complete game no-hitter on Sunday afternoon leading the
Warriors to an 8-0 victory over the Varsity Blues in Toronto. Shane also
struck out 8 and walked 5 in the win. This is Shane's second shut-out
this season 1n two starts this year.

Tory scored 3 goals on Sunday afternoon to lead the Warriors to a 5-1 victory
over the Lancers in Windsor. The 3 goal performance puts Tory in the OUA
scoring lead after week one of the season.

25

FRIDAY.·SEPTEMBER 17, 2004

Campus Rec kicks off fall programs

Rod McLachlan
IMPRINT STAFF

Advanced instructor training
and certification
. The Speedo WATERArtprogram will
soon he offered at Waterloo. This
certification program is intended to
teach participants to become Aquafit
instructors. The registration fee of
$129 plus GST "includes class theory
and pool practical time, instructor
manual, video and certificate," according to a Campus Recreation press release. Those who are interested in this
program should note that the aforementioned fee is a discounted rate that
is available only to UW students and
members. For more information,
please contactJen Lennon at 888-4567
ext. 5034.
Instructional registration takes
place next week
Instructional registration will run
fromSeptembeJ;21 to 23. Can1pusRec
staff are warning students that things
will be organized differently this year.
Interested students may pick up a
ticket from the PAC red north entrance between the hours of8:15 a.m.

and 11 a.m. on September 21 to be
eligible to register. This ticketwillgive
students a time to come back to the
PAC to register on September 21 only.
Campus Rec staff would like students to know that registration has
been extended until 10 p.m. on Tuesday; Septembet 21. Registration on
September 22 and 23 will take place in
the athletics office forallofthe classes
with spots still remaining open.
For more particulars, please refer
to the Campus Rec guidebook or the
UW athletics web site (www.athletics.
uwatetloo.ca).
..
As for fitness class registration,
students can now purchase a shoe tag
or punch card instead of individual
class registration. These shoe tags and
punch cards are available in the PAC
athletics office and can bepic~ed up at
any time. This means that students
do not need to buy shoe tam> or punch
cards during the instructional registration.
. Also, students can sign up for any
of the certification programs, such as
first aid, at any time.
For further details on the scheduling of classes, visit rhe web site or
check the guidebook.
Pick-up volleyball begins
Campus Rec is encouraging students to get friends together on Monday nights and come out for some
pick-up volleyball at the Columbia

Westbrook notches hat trick

Rod McLachlan
IMPRINT STAFF

UW men's soccer team fails to
become road Warriors
While most students were busy preparing for the first day of classes last
weekend, the Warrior men's soccer
terun hit the road to play Western and
Windsor for their first two games of
the season.
On Saturday, September 11, the
Warriors took on the Mustangs at 1
p.m. in City Wide Park in London.
The season opening match ended in
a 1-1 draw. UWO's Kyle Washington opened the scoring for the home
team in the 23rd minute. In the 37th
minute, Waterloo's Payman

8

ln

Charkhzarin knotted the game at
one apiece. Charkhzarin is in secondyear kineSiology at UW and hails
originally from Kitchener, Ont.. This
is also his second year with the club.
In the end, neither team was able
to break away in the dying minutes
of the match.
The following day Waterloo trav- .
dIed to Windsor to play against the
Lancers at 1 p.m. atWiqdsor South
Campus Field. ThehoinetownLancers ended up with a 2-1 comeback .
win. Jason Antovski and Jason Invin
tallied for Windsor.
UW women's soccer team
earns a split in weekend action
, The Warrior women's soccer team
lost their season opener on the road
last weekend against the Western
Mustangs. On September 11 at 3
p.m., Waterloo squared off against
Western at City Wide Park in London.
London native Kate Crowley

info@angieseats.com

Icefields. All volleyball action will take
place in the new gyms of the CIF from
8 p.m. until 11 p.m. The opening
night for pi~k.tip volleyball will be
September 20.
Running group starts
. UW's running group will be hostingits flrstmeetingofthe fall termon
September 20 at 6:30 p.m. in PAC
2021. The meeting should last an hour.
The group's aim is to hookup runners
of various skill and experience levels
with new running partners at· UW.
Interested persons or thosewith questions are encouraged to contact
Annette at 888-4567 ext. 6340. The
group is also looking for organizational assistance.
Registration for leagues is
(almost) over, meetings start
Interested in registering for a
competitive or recreational league at
UW? Today, September 17, is the
final day of registration. Sign-ups
end at 4 p.m. Meetings for these
leagues have already begun. Captains' meetings are next week. For
more info refer to the Campus Rec
guidebook or web site for times
and locations.

scored the only goal of the game in
the 85th minute of play. Mustang
netminder and Ottawa nanve Jessy
Kapitany turned aside all of Water100'5 shots forthe 1-0 shutout win.
The very next day tl1e team headed
down highway 401 to do battle
against the Windsor Lancers. The
match was held at 3 p.m. at Windsor
South Campus Field. Waterloo
turned in an inspired effort and was
rewarded with a 5-1 rout.
Windsor's Besma Berhanu was
the lone goal scorer for the Lancers,
while UW striker Tory Westbrook
tallied a whopping three times, which
understandably earned her athlete of
the week honours from UW's athletics department.
Nuala Marshall and Stephanie
Clutterbuck were the other Warrior
goal scorers.

Please apply in person at the Office of Development in
South Campus Hall.
Please include a cover letter, resume,cJass schedule
and three references.

Men's Rugby
Sept. 18 at Western, 3 p.m.
Sept. 22 vs. Windsor, 4 p.m.

Golf
Sept. 20 at Guelph Invitational

1J!JJJJV.

athldirs.!I1Vt1terlOo. eel

Questions:
Kathy Prpic ext.31Z9
kprpic@uwaterloo.ca

campaignwaterloo
BUILDING: A TALENT TRUST

~)'I)T-"I
I....){.\,.S

I~rpI{INrr

26

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17-, 2004

H"urricanes . don't take' away
Rugby: Warriors ride strong defence to victory
from Magic co-op experience Continued from cover
Indeed, the Watriors..tookadvanof2003 and thewinterof2004. He has
tage of the Laurier penalty, as UW
been a conv~ner for Campus Rec basfullbackJ ated Ehgoetz-the brother
ketball as 'well as a student program
of WLU fly half Andrew - burst
co-ordinator.. Cross noted that his
Being that his ftrstwordas a baby was
through the depleted Golden Hawk
experience with Campus Recwas also
"ball," it is no surprise 'that Jeremy
defensive line for the go-ahea&tty. A
Cross, a third-yeat rec andl~isure stuan asset when b!,!ing considered for a
conversion by WrunOts scrum half
dent at the University of Waterloo,
position with the Magic.
Mike Saxon made the score 14-10 and
Having stattedworkwith the Magic
has begun the ftrst ofhis ftnal two coop placements working atound the' onAugust 23,Cr?ss arrived in Florida Waterloo wouldnotttail for the rest of
the match.
game he loves. Cross was fortunate
the day after the Orlando atea got hit
The Watriors padded their lead
enough to secure a two~term placehatd by hurricane Chatlie. Thus,he
sh()rtlyafterclaimingitfromWLU,as
ment with the community relations
had only been in Florida a short while
wingerLucas Hatden found a chink in
depattment of the NBA's Orlando
when it was hit by hurricane Frances,
~c.
.
the WLU defense and tallied another
the second storm. in as manyWeeks.
ttY
for the home squad. 'I)le convert
"Frances was my fIrst hurricane and I
The internship involves overseeattempt was missed, but Waterloo
ing various Magic community relawas very lucky in comparison to other
families close by," noted Cross.
. . had stretched their lead to 19-10.
tions programs including the ReadAlate surge by the Golden Hawks
to-Achieve community initiative,
''1 took some video and pictures of
which aims to promote reading
the destruction because, even though ~ was capped off with a tty by Laurier
among elementaty school students in
Frances was downgraded to a tropical captain and fullbackJ asonDoble, who
flew down the right side and into the
central Florida.
storm, it was still the wildest storm I
.Waterloo end zone. A conversion by
Cross discovered the opportunity . have everwitnessed."
Golden Hawks fly half Tim Birkett
As further hurricanes threaten
to work for the Magic while seatching
dtade the score 19-17, butitwas acase
Florida, Cross admits he doesn't know
nba,com. He'promptly applied and
of too little too late for WLU, as the
what to expect, but he continues to
underwent a process which included
Warriors claimed victory in the season
two interviews before being hired.
s.avour the opportunity to work
opener.
atoimd the game he loves.
Undoubtedly, Cross' past co-op
Headiriginto their next game with
experience was an assetwhenit came
"'1 would like to do 'exactly what I
the
WestemMustangs, Ingoldsby said
time for theMagic to make a decision
am doing with the Orlando Magic
his team will take a few lessons from
[after graduation]," says Cross.
on whether to offer him the position.
During his fIrst co-op experience in
When asked about the beneftts of the game against Laurier, as well as the
ail-important two points in the
th~winterof2003, he worked for the
being a basketball fan employed by an
standings.
Toronto Raptors in their database
NBA franchise, Cross replied, ''There
"We took two points and that's
ate a few perks. I will leave it at that."
matketing and consumer products
. always worth something," Ingoldsby
depattments. Also, he completed cocommented. "We've spent a lot of
dmicak@imprint·uwaterloo.ca
op terms with Campus Rec in the fall
Dan Micak

IMPRINT STAFF

Office DEPOT.
.

The Warriors controlled play throughout·the second half of their
season opening win over WLU.
.
time working on timing with our
backs."
The Warriors will travel to London
to take on the Mustangs tomorrow
(Sept. 18) beforeretuminghomefora

game against Windsor on Wednesday, Sept. 22. Game time for North
Campus is 4 p.m.
amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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IMPRINT SPOI1TS

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17,2004

27

Fans should n'otchoke on
their rageafter-,\Veirloss
not resp.ond. What Weir did do was
swallow hard and vow he wouldreturn next yea£mQre determined th,ati
ever to win Canada's natj.onal cham~
.... pionshll' .
• , '~e Weir haS done too,much in, ,
hisc;ll,!eer to be tossedmtothe choker
·,l:5.ifib,~<s~doo oQ.e poot'rd~nd of
. :lastW'eekeru.t. He,has withstoodthe"~,
'P!1'!s&ureQf wfuning The Masters, '
I mqst have
missed
the
part
W~¢l'¢'facing"th:e
world's ~estl?layers
aad
_
.
#t",,:,·.·
-"
.
Mike Weir choked during the fmal, . , carryiJig~e hopes of his country on;;:.
round ofthe 2004 Bell canadian Op~, ,his shoulc!ers~ In fact, Mike Weirhas
I had the good fortune to be:~f,doqeitalHnhisstill-.a~dingcareer.•
Glen Abbey on Sunday- fusiroe;
"'. ilutMi~,tWeir did not choke in"
my brother and 30,000 of our cl6se$t . "fueilnal torin~ bf the 2004 Bell Canlh
friends. I sawalotofsights to l;>ehoid ~dlru;iopen.
'
that day as the gigantic gallery felt· " " ,
,
every shot theirnational hero hit.amcguire@impript.1Jwater!c)o.ca "
l;sawthe massive crowd erupt
, "W~birdiedthethirdholeafter
a/bletbOgey on two. I saw him
s~'&l~Joia disappointing bogey
ohthe.$eVenth.I~a\V~ pump hiS
fist after a longb!!:qu;eff~onJhe
tenth hQte.l saw himrDiSiea.d'th'C
thirteenm:~~en for, aooili~rpogef.'
And:baw him slightly rug~l?itthing
wedge appr?ac:;b.,~~ot into the:water
on the third playoff hole, cementing
his second place finish .
.Ihl!il:(id'hofsee'MikeWeir choke.
"€anadiansports f.aus have an,unfortunate tendency to apply the "c"
word to every athlete or team that falls
short of the nation's expectations.
,1}l
.,

Adlm ,McGuire,
',I-MlIUIE WARIII&

golf

,

<;'"

..

Mike Wei,r (right) walks up to the 18th green during the final round of the Bell Canadian Open.

At this price, mommy can
call whenever she wants.
You sissy.

~lfe!litu:en":

""'-"''''''''

chq\

".,,', ", ,:~ftrlday;~e

~~!tallegeillf,ehdked;' ' .

""
s

'.' ~"';~--'.

,~ut if ~~g,iJ a ~ur7~ina
tlc as golf, lps that the

,,

'oUldalwa
...... ys be expected.

Drives can strayoffthe fairway foroo
re~on, iron shots can be sudderuy
v0i4:ofany control and, in the case of
W¥last Sunday, a golfer can simply
lo~ his putting touch.
,Jtwasevideritthli.tWeirwaSheart~ ,

brqkenalter the pliyoff. I~thel~6st~
ro~d interview area,. a ,visibly de~
je<;.tt!dWeir faced the nation and made
no~Ccises.He said he nevet felt comfortable on the greens during the final
twO days of the tournament, he said
he had chances to win and he said he
was trying too hard to hit the perfect,
shot. The nation embraced him initially, btrtby Monday's wa~~t£ooler
conversations and 'news~aHloon
broadcasts, Weir had been labeled a
choker.
The choke-bug that caqght Weir
following his loss is the same bqg
that Team Canada's hockey superstars dodged with a 3-2 victory over
Finland in the World Cup of Hockey
final. A Canadian loss would have
also been unjustly labeled a monumental choke, just like when Canada
ftnished fourth at the Nagano Olympics in 1998.
Weir's opponent in the playoff
was not exactly the Team Finland of
the golf world - it was the planet's
bestplayer, VijaySingh. Weir dropped
a few shots on the way to the playoff,
but Singh caqght fire on the back nine
and turned up the heat on the fan
favourite. Unfortunately for the Canadian golf community, Weir could

2004-05_v27_no9_Imprint

IMPRINT. UWATERLOO.CA - Dan Ingoldsby, Assistant Rugby Coach The visiting Golden Hawks were relentless, however, as they cattied the play throughout the first half.,After a 30-yard penalty kick by Laurier fly half Andrew Ehgoetz put the Golden Hawks on the board, outside centre Graham Ball broke through for a try - which was converted by Ehgoetz Adam McGuire See RUGBY, page 26 Kate Cook SPECIAL TO IMPRINT IMPRINT STAFF PHOTO COURTESY OF MIDNIGHT SUN SOLAR RACE CAR TEAM