All of the spots were set up low-key stealth style, so skating from one to the next felt like being on a mission, only with a crew of a hundred other skaters. Jesus Christ never even rolled that deep. He only had like, what, twelve homies with him at any given time, and one of them turned out to be a snitch. Some crew…

Like any skate event, the photos can never really capture the feeling of being there, but they at least give you the highlights (and with none of that famous New York summertime hot garbage smell). Thanks to everyone who came out and thanks especially to the cops for being too lazy to keep up with us!

Pausing traffic to haul to the next spot. The best thing about skating through New York with over a hundred people is that drivers don’t think twice about it. Just the same, “Ayyy, fuck outta here.”

A bunch of inflatable pool toys, one bag of sand, and a filthy parking lot were all we needed to have a good time. If you’re ever looking for a car to steal or a place to hide your poop-stained underwear, this is the spot. Super vintage, “might get stabbed” vibes.

Probably not the first time Fred Gall walked around Brooklyn with a leopard print safari hat, and definitely not the last.

Benihanas are the kind of thing you might pay someone to stop doing. But because we try to stay ahead of the curve, we rewarded this man handsomely for doing a trick that could kook him out of skateboarding forever. Worth it!

While most people were still warming up, Brett Weinstein tre flipped this a little too easily. Next time, skaters will have to avoid Weckingball as he runs around trying to pile drive you out of midair.

I forgot what she was laughing at here. It was either that dudes benihana or Weckingball not having any manual pads to yell at. Or maybe she was laughing at adult age humans risking it all over a sketchy gap for a chance at $40.

If you listened to our TimPod episode with Mark, you know he apparently comes from a rich-ass family. So if he’d slammed and landed on one of the screws sticking out of this makeshift hubba, don’t worry, he’d have enough money to cover the cost of a couple tetanus shots.

If you’ve never seen Yaje Popson skate in person, it’s strongly recommended that you hitch hike over to Tompkins Park and wait for him to show up. He will make crack-infested flatground and half-assed obstacles look smooth as silk. Or maybe just stalk him from afar, your call.

The theme at this hubba spot was bodybuilding (mmmm Hubba Hubba!), which yes, was a little random, but made sense when Weckingball ripped off his shirt and faced one of the Gang Corp homies in a push up contest. Of course, Weck’s glamour/insecurity muscles put him over the top, proving that what’s on the inside never matters. Remember, success is based entirely on superficial appearances and yelling at strangers online.

Some were feeling self-conscious when the shirts came off so we handed out free muscle shirts (hard nipples not included).

Male beauty standards these days are so unrealistic.

We called the final spot Blunt Island and set up pole jams to look like skateable spliffs. Sure, a pole jam’s nice, but it’s way better doused in lighter fluid and set on fire. Safer too because the flames make sure you get at least 50 more Instagram likes. Science, fools.

Antwaun from the Public Housing Skate Team ended the day with a great reminder of why average citizens assume skateboarders are always trying to kill themselves. Of course the crucial detail those people could never understand is how sick this is gonna look on a three-inch phone screen. Epic.

Want to give a big shout out to the police for coming through and showing love. But next time if you could call ahead and let us know when you’re planning on rolling by, it’d be much appreciated.

Dumb captions: Nic Dobija-Nootens
Photos: Mike Heikkila, J-Hon, Zander Taketomo
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