To commemorate (or should that read “cash in on”?) the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park, the Boston Red Sox are set to release a CD on May 8, entitled, “Fenway Park Greatest Hits” featuring songs performed from Red Sox players past and present and other assorted Boston dignitaries. And let me inform you right from the get-go, it’s just awful. Really, really awful. It’s like any other greatest hits collection, but, you know, not good.

A grisly breakdown, via the Red Sox’s official site:

Fan favorites include “Let the Good Times Roll,” “Sweet Caroline,” “Dirty Water,” “Tessie,” “Dream On” and “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.” Also features 2 original songs written especially for the project, “2007” and “Fenway Park,” as well as a special tribute to the great Ted Williams with John Updike’s legendary piece “Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu.”

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. The guys from Extreme, a member of the J. Geils Band, the dude from Staind AND the Dropkick Murphys make an appearance? Why didn’t they title the CD “Now That’s What I Call (Bad) Music, Volume 1? Good Lord. Dicky Barrett from the Bosstones I can handle, but the others? Mercy, mercy me.

On the site where you can pre-order this CD (should you feel the need), there are even previews of all 12 songs abominations. A sampling of a few of my personal favorites follow below.

How about “Sweet Caroline” by Mark Salling, Clay Buchholz, David Ortiz, Ryan Kalish and Darnell McDonald? It’s on there:

Your browser does not support iframes.

And “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” by Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy and Staind’s Mike Mushok? You better believe it:

Your browser does not support iframes.

There’s also a ditty about the magical year of 2007, fittingly entitled, “2007,” featuring Kevin Youkilis, Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia:

Your browser does not support iframes.

And here’s Kevin Millar singing “Tessie”, which apparently is the longtime anthem of the Red Sox: