My ranking of the top 15 law schools

Forget US News. Prepare to be enlightened by my flawless reasoning. I'm not even going to charge you $15.

1. Harvard - top LSAT scores, and even if you graduate at the bottom of your class you can still be a pretentious bastard

2. Yale - the grading system really pisses me off, still an excellent school though

3. Chicago - the site of the first controlled nuclear reaction gives Chicago a boost over Stanford, just watch out for the radiation

4. Stanford - not much to say, but I don't think it should be mentioned in the same class as Harvard and Yale

5. Columbia - no, New York is not the center of the universe

6. NYU - you can always hit on the fashion design majors between your law school classes

7. Michigan - best place to watch over-hyped, mediocre football (unless Ohio State is coming to town)

8. Virginia - best bet is to wait outside a frat house throwing a party and offer a ride home to some extremely drunk sorority girl

9. Cal - loses the tie-break with UMich and UVa because of the hippies, the damn dirty hippies...In the immortal words of Eric Cartman "They say they want to save the world, but all they do is smoke drugs and smell bad."

10. Georgetown - from what I've read in the Starr report, those D.C. interns can get pretty crazy

11. Penn - gets way too much love from US News, and Donovan McNabb stinks

12. Northwestern - gets the edge over Duke because soccer girls hazing was much, much cooler than lacrosse rape

13. Duke - on the plus side, if you can fit it into your busy schedule, I hear the lacrosse team has a few open spots

14. Texas - if law school gets too tough, they have a big clock tower where you can take out your frustrations...great stress relief

15. Cornell - red-headed step child of the Ivy League...all this means is you can watch a bunch of privileged white kids attempting to play sports

Feel free to leave comments*

*This post was in jest, but if you have not figured that out by now, maybe you should rethink law school

Right, because only USNWR considers Yale the best. Its pretty much universal.

There might be some debate about S>H or H>Y or whether Chicago belongs in the top 5 etc.

Saying "Yale is the best law school. The rest are debatable" is pretty childish and I hope you were kidding/being sarcastic. Before you say Yale is the best law school you should first ask "best for what?" rather than just spitting out the USNWR ranking. Best for academia, clerkships, and public interest, of course, but the rest is up for debate.

Hey, if Pancho and I could have one of the world's best faculties all to ourselves, I'm sure we wouldn't complain.

At least there'd be spots for both of us on the Supreme Court Litigation Clinic. I mean, at what other school can you be part of a team arguing before the highest court in the land? What's that you say? No other school? Not even YALE? Must not be that good. Hmmm...