Okay, so I tried playing Star Fox Adventures on the Dolphin, but it doesn't seem to be working. I get as far as the first three seconds of the main menu fading in, and it stops. Then I get error messages that I don't understand, and it's different depending on what plugin I'm using. I'm completely new to the Dolphin, but I have used other emulators before.

I've noticed you seem to get this problem quite a bit, but in all the threads I've seen, people are more interested in talking about the illegality of downloading ROMs than actually helping.

Let me make this clear: I do in fact have a legally purchased copy of this game in my possession, which was bought brand new, right after the game's release. I have paid my dues to Nintendo, so can you please nix all the talk of piracy and just help me fix this problem?

These are the error messages I get when using the 'Software Renderer' plugin.
I don't know what any of them mean or what settings I should change to fix them.

Piracy is a major issue with emulation, so its not odd to see a lot of such replies - and in fact we had quite a few cases already where a downloaded game was broken, one way or another, causing those errors.

Either way, this is related to the FIFO, and probably means that either your CPU can't keep up with the GPU, or vice-versa. I suggest you try the DX9 Plugin, which is the fastest for the majority of people out there. Update to a recent version of Dolphin, where one of those FIFO-related bugs was fixed. Maybe play around with Frame Limiting settings and Audio Throttle, sometimes this also helps.