Thursday, March 29, 2012

I managed an outfit post! The first one in almost three months. But I'm going to level with you . . . it is a bit of a sham.
I'm telling you this because, if you are like me, sometimes you see
these kinds of posts and think, "Oh s*$t, she looks so put together! She must
be so organized. I bet everything in her closet is folded nicely, her
hair smells good, and she is wearing lotion. I bet she wakes up on time
every day and always eats a healthy breakfast. I'm so jealous." Well,
don't feel that way about me because . . .

1. My
armoir is an absolute disaster. It was very easy to select this ensemble
because, quite honestly, it was the only thing that wasn't wrinkled. And actually, the shirt is still wrinkled. Oh well.

2. I
wear Grandma underwear 100% of the time post-baby. There are at least 5
inches of white underwear exposed above the waistline of my jeans under
my tank-top that you, mercifully, cannot see. That's how I roll now.

3.
I have only two pairs of jeans that fit me now (this pair and an
identical pair) and let's be honest, "fit" might be a little bit too
generous a term. If by "fit" you mean I can put them on and take them
off without assistance then yes, they fit. The rest of my twenty pairs
of pants - including all my favorites - are in the attic in a tupperware
bin waiting until next year when hopefully I can wear them again.

4.
I took these photos in my bedroom and there is a large, ugly,
battery-operated baby swing cropped out of the image on the left. And
there is a co-sleeper right behind the tripod. And the bed is not made.

5.
RE: My hair. Sooo, it is a different color now. Lots darker. Apparently
that is common after having a baby (other mom's out there is this
true?) And I just got a haircut with bangs last week. I love it/I hate
it. I don't know. The last time I had bangs like this I was in Middle
School and that didn't go so well!

6. Hello Crow's feet. Do you seem them? Outta nowhere.

7. It took me
almost 30 minutes to get dressed to take these photos because Severen
kept waking up from his nap. At one point, I had on my tank top, pants,
and one shoe. Then I managed to get on the other shoe. Then the jabot/hat pin. Then I had to sneak into my office to get the bracelets and he
woke up again and I felt like a bad mom for ruining his sleep cycle just
to do this silly post. It was not a graceful process.

8. I dried my hair with a hairdryer for
the first time in months prior to this photo session. My neighbors
would not recognize this person you see here as the same person who has
been out for walks with the stroller these past few weeks. This is a
borderline "Breakfast Club" - type makeover.

9. I do
not wear nice outfits or jewelry every day. Most days I wear my
Zara stretchy pants and any number of striped t-shirt tops that can be
a.) easily lifted for nursing and b.) sustain serious drool and spit up
incidents. If you just showed up at my door on a weekday, that's probably what you would find. And a ponytail.

10. My favorite breakfast lately is something I found at the co-op called "The Ultimate Breakfast Cookie." Need I say more?

So
why bother with this outfit post at all if it is such a sham? Well, for
myself. To prove to myself that I can still get dressed, do my hair and
look decent when I try. I might not be able to go to a movie or a cocktail bar but
dammit, I can pretend! (Also, I wanted to show you my bangs :))

don't be so hard on yourself...i honestly gained 60 lbs with my first kid. I can't believe that i admitted to that. started the pregnancy a size 2 and wore a size 9 for the first six months after birth. i eventually got back to the size 2 before the year was out. it will happen...believe it. you look amazing and i love the bangs btw.

You look adorable! Love the bangs. You and I have similar hair, very (and invisible eyelashes and eyebrows -- so blonde). I always thought my hair went a shade darker because I moved to cloudy Oregon; maybe it was the 3 babies! It is still very blonde, btw. I'm way into my 50's now and white/gray is prominent only underneath. Just had MY hair cut, too! When she was lifting things up to cut and I mentioned all the gray underneath, she said, "honey, that's not gray -- it's Arctic Blonde". :o) Don't hide all your jeans in the attic! You'll be into them sooner than you think. Soon you will find the balance for nursing/eating and the pounds will fall off. Grandma panties are comfortable! Go buy some cheap hair scissors and have your stylist show you how to cut your own bangs -- they grow very quickly and you will save a fortune on gasoline and salon visits and you will be less frustrated about them. Crow's feet? Maybe milk output is drying you up -- drink more water? Get more sleep? Blame it on hormones? Don't worry about them!! You are a radiant mother. GOOD WORK!!!

good lord lady your life is a mess! kidding. it's funny isn't it how we always imagine the person's life outside the outfit post to be a whirl of vintage cocktails, tidy homes and balanced meals....glad to hear others have a bit of clutter, work/live in comfy stretchy pants and eat all the food groups in one cookie for brekky! anyway I love your bangs but I'd like to see the bit you cropped out of the last photo ;)p.s. my hair is really dirty so all the shop pics I did today feature a floral headscarf. smoke. mirrors (less mirror thanks)

My mother said her hair changed after having kids too - not in terms of the colour because she was always dying it the craziest colours, but the actual texture - the curl dropped out of her hair for awhile.

And re the grandma underwear - Hell, we all know they're so damn comfortable. Why? Because we've all got a pair or two in our own underwear drawers. No judgement here!

I love this post! First, I love the photos, because you *do* look very cute, and I the bangs look great on you. Second, I love the text even more--you're a great and hilarious writer, Duff. Can I tell you that it always takes me more than 30 minutes to get dressed and ready, and if you were to show up at my house unannounced I would be wearing really gross jeans and some kind of fleece top or sweatshirt...and *I have no baby*. So...you're doing great! (lol @ Soren's comment.)