We are connected

There is a reason for so many of us here on earth. We need each other. Healthy dependency is the hallmark of an abundant relationship. Reciprocity, free from an anxious need to give and receive allows for serendipitous moments.

We do our best to work on our own issues, be introspective and learn from our mistakes. When we do this, we operate from a more secure foundation, knowing that whatever comes along we can weather the storm. It will be rocky, it will be challenging, but all in all, it will be accepted as part of the journey. While this undercurrent of energy happens, we ask for help when needed, and for the most part, we are likely going about our daily lives interacting with one another. This is where the blessings come in.

Assuming that everyone we come into contact with has their own undercurrent of issues, we communicate with one another and a blending of these issues happen. For example, Joe may be struggling with the pain of not feeling good enough while he interacts with Sue who is working on her control issues to compensate for her anxiety. Sometimes the two trigger each other and conflict arises. Each one's issue has been affected. If they focus on themselves, taking responsibility for what is theirs' and allow the other to own their part, this can be an emotional learning experience. This triggering can be very informational and a chance to practice responding with less intensity to one another.

Sometimes, however, we can feel raw and upset in our issues and have interactions with others that are free from conflict. Maybe the conversation sparks a smile or a comment is made that reminds us we are not alone in our struggles. This can feel like a hug when we need it most.

If we can get past the strong desire for things to be smooth we can see life has plenty to offer. There is always an undercurrent just beneath the surface.

Bridgette DeBoer M.A., is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, marriage and family therapist. She can be reached at 450-6632.