First things first....I haven't actually used Gentoo in probably a good 2-3 years, so let's just talk to me like this is the first time I've ever seen this crazy new OS

Installed everything just fine the other day, network is working fine when it's wired. Now, I'm trying to get my wireless adapter working so I can move my computer. I have tried Google'ing and searching the forum for 2 days with no luck. The only thing I found on forums relating to my exact problem, was from almost a year ago, so not sure how relevant that is now.

That thread you linked to has *very* detailed instructions about what you should do. If that other person could get wifi running using them, so should you. Just read the posts carefully and do what they ask of you.