Disclaimer: South Park is owned by Matt Paker and Trey Stone, and I make no claim to it, nor do I profit from this fic

000

Stan Marsh shifted
uncomfortably. His current location- just outside the principal's
office- was a nerve-wracking position. It usually ended with his
parents being called in because their son had been cursing, fighting,
disrespecting the teachers, blowing up school property, or making out
with his boyfriend under the bleachers. Again.

He glanced sideways at
his aforementioned beau. Kyle Broflovski frowned absently as he toyed
with one of the strings on his cap. But there was something…
something vaguely scary that reminded him of his mother. Not that
Sheila Broflovski wasn't a loving, if overprotective and bossy
mother. It was just that- most bossy mothers didn't go quite as far
as say… starting a war with Canada over a dirty movie.

You know?

Stan drummed his
fingers nervously against his thigh, seriously rethinking his desire
to go to senior prom. Yes, it would be nice to go to the dance but
probably not nice enough to go through…whatever was about to
happen. The office door swung open.

Yeah, he probably
shoulda kept his mouth shut.

EARLIER

"Goddamit!" There
was a thump as Stan threw himself down in the opposite seat.

"Mmm?" Kyle glanced
up from his slop. School lunch had only gotten worse since Chef left.

"Dude, they won't
let us go to prom- at least not together."

He paused the spoon
halfway to his mouth "We wanted to go to prom?"

"Well…yeah, dude.
It's the prom."

Kyle, who was used to
being left out of things, like church camp, Christmas and Easter
celebrations, and anything that other kids thought his mother would
be required to attend, hadn't really thought about prom. It was
just another one of those things. But if Stan wanted to go…

"They really said we
couldn't go together?"

Stan scowled.
"Principal Victoria said we should be 'sensitive to students and
their parents' cause they 'may not be comfortable with our
relationship'." He jabbed an innocent vegetable with his fork.
Kyle looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he stood up.

"Uh, dude?"

A determined look had
settled over the Jew's face. "C'mon, Stan, let's go get our
tickets"

0000

"Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way, but I'm afraid to avoid offending anyone, we
have to ask you to-"

"What about me? I'm
offended! And I bet when I go home and tell my mom, she's gonna be
pretty offended too!" Kyle shouted, placing both hands on the
principal's cluttered desk.

Stan's mouth dropped
open slightly. There was a kind of evil genius in this plan. Stepping
on student's toes was one thing, but as any teacher in South Park
knew, stepping on the toes of the crusading Jewish woman was… Well
if she got into this thing there would probably be, not only
admittance given to gay couples, but rainbow banners and triangle
cookies with pink frosting as well.

"Well then she can
call me and I will explain to her that I just cannot-" She pursed
her lips tightly. "Well, I'm sorry Mr…?"

"Broflovski."

A slightly hesitant
look came over the principal's face. Like that name should mean
something… Stan leaned in for a better view. "Mr. Broflovski, but
it is just out of my control."

"Fine! Then I'm
gonna call my mom, Mrs. Broflovski, and-"

There it was. A slight
widening of the eyes, weakening of the shoulders- realization
dawning. She cleared her throat nervously. Stan grinned.

"Sheila
Broflovski?" Principal Victoria looked carefully at Kyle taking in
his Jewish nose, the red curls sticking out from under his hat, her
mind matching them up with one terrifying woman.

"Yup." Kyle settled
back into a relaxed stance.

"Head of the PTA?"
She shifted nervously in her seat.

"Yup."

"Quite an activist,
is she?" Principal Victoria threaded her fingers together
nervously.

"She wouldn't be
the same Sheila Broflovski who instigated the American-Canadian War?"

"Oh, she is." The
hands now widened into a placating gesture.

"Well, boys," she
smiled nervously. "You certainly have a convincing case. We
wouldn't want to discriminate against any of our hard working
students! I'll call the secretary right now! And here let me write
you a pass so you won't be late to your next class…"

One slightly altered
pass later the boys walked out of South Park High a full three hours
early.

Stan took his evil,
evil boyfriend's hand and wondered how much it would cost to get
the tickets framed.

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