Topics

Christianity vs. Satanism

One of the best ways to understand a faith is to compare and contrast it with what you are already familiar with. Here are a few topics on which both Christians and Satanists have strong opinions.

SUBJECT

CHRISTIANS

RC of S

Want Prayer in School

RC of S Says: I know it is probably inconceivable to most that we Satanists would agree on anything with Oppressor Worshippers, but on this subject we agree – prayer in school is a good thing, but only when it is fair and balanced across all faiths. We yearn for the day when Satanic Youth can open their high school valedictorian speech with "Hail Lord Satan!" Until that true religious equality comes, however, we would prefer not to have to listen to The Oppressor’s message of hate and divisiveness.

Belief in Creationism/Intelligent Design

RC of S Says: A belief in Satan, or The Oppressor, implies that the world around us was created by a force outside our ken. Of course, we do differ on the why and the how.

Approve of Homo-Sexuality

RC of S Says: "If it feels good, do it." Seriously. Although only up to a point. We certainly don’t approve of NMBLA, or rape, or sex with minors or any other actions that harms the young.

Encourage Masturbation

RC of S Says: We especially encourage this for men. Regular masturbation reduces a man’s chances of developing prostate cancer or a prostate infection. And it’s fun. We aren’t aware of any medical benefit to women, but certainly don’t begrudge you some quality time to yourself.

SUBJECT

CHRISTIANS

RC of S

Waste your Sunday morning

RC of S Says: Many newcomers to Redeemer Church of Satan say the best thing about our faith is they don’t have to get up early Sunday morning. Whether it is because they’re fighting a hang over, want to watch "the game" or want to spend time with their kids at the beach, one of the great things about Satanism is no formal church time. You worship Satan on your own time.

Approve of Stem Cell Research/Cloning

RC of S Says: Duh! Illness is one of The Oppressor’s tools of fear, designed to keep you in line. If you’re afraid that your cancer is going to kill you and a self serving minister of some hypocritical religious organization tells you to repent, give us your money, and you’ll go to heaven, that’s a pretty persuasive restraint on free will.

Believe the Bible is the Word of God

RC of S Says: This is one of our favorite areas of disagreement. The Bible is clearly not the "word of god." It’s a group of writings that a bunch of men obsessed with consolidating their own power put together to control the masses and secure a better position among the slaves in heaven. The original Uncle Toms of the human race.

Condemn Usurers

RC of S Says: In the Book of Exodus "God" says “if you lend money to my people, to the poor among you. you shall not exact interest from them” (22: 25). So clearly Christians condemn banks, bankers, etc. Oh, wait… They don’t condemn banks… Or bankers… Gee, isn’t it a bit hypocritical to pick and choose which parts of the Bible to stick with if it is "the word of god?" We imagine not…

SUBJECT

CHRISTIANS

RC of S

Want Bush’s Tax Cuts Permanent

RC of S Says: Say what? How is this a religious issue? We don’t even have a position on this…

Listen to Rock Music

RC of S Says: Everybody loves a good U2 song. Or the Stones. We love "Sympathy for the Devil."

Make You Wait to Eat

RC of S Says: Many recent converts to Satanism tell us that being forced to wait for everyone to gather round the table, settle down, and then say a prayer thanking The Oppressor for what was earned by the sweat and labor of people here on Earth before being able to eat a Thanksgiving turkey was excruciating. They’d been waiting all day to eat, the Turkey took longer than expected (why does that always happen?) and they weren’t allowed to snack. When the bird was finally done and ready to eat, being forced to wait, again, was adding insult to injury.

Think Miley Cyrus is "cute"

RC of S Says: Ok, Miley is cute and precious and all that. But she makes us want to vomit. She is the epitome of the money grubbing liars that profess to worship The Oppressor. The girl makes tens of millions, claims to be a "good Christian" and then poses topless in Vanity Fair. If she were really a good Christian (if such a thing exists) she would use her money to help New Orleans, inner city youth or drug addicts. Instead she’s buying new dresses to show up at Hollywood parties. Which is ironic since Christians think Hollywood is such a corrupting influence. Personally, we miss the dear departed Sam Peckinpaw.

SUBJECT

CHRISTIANS

RC of S

Like Christmas Trees

RC of S Says: In fact, we liked them first! Did you know that Christians as far back as the first century B.C. condemned them? It’s true. Here’s a quote from The Oppressor’s book…

Jeremiah 10:2-4: "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." (KJV).

Of course it wasn’t called a Christmas tree then. Prominent Christians like Oliver Cromwell and Cotton Mather railed against Christmas carols, yule logs and gift giving around Christmas. It wasn’t until about 1850 that Christians began to co-opt the proud pagan and Satanic heritage of the Christmas tree. Naturally, we don’t celebrate the birth of The Oppressor’s enforcer, but we do like the solstice, and without Jesus we wouldn’t have Saint Judas and the message of hope and freedom that Satan offers us.

Play Dungeons & Dragons

RC of S Says: C’mon! Role playing games are great avenues to explore all kinds of fantasy worlds, to come together with friends for a good time, and pretend to be "chaotic evil" for a while. And hey, if it kindles an interest in Satanism, all the better! (Although we highly doubt it will as Dungeons & Dragons has absolutely nothing to do with Satan or Satanism any more than Gin Rummy does.)

Condemn Harry Potter

RC of S Says: Another one for the "say what?" category. And why do the Christians hate Harry so? Is it his geeky glasses? His overly friendly relationship with Hermoine? No. It’s because he does "magic!" OOOooohhh! Wow. That’s pretty sinful. Not at all like bilking millions of dollars from senior citizens. And yet the Christians never condemn mega-churches…