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Thursday, July 7, 2016

curvy girl

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about being an average sized girl in our not so averaged size blogging world. Due to a problem with Disqus, the 100+ comments on that post are stuck on a dashboard that I can't figure out how to get on my blog, but you all had so many great points about body image, body love, and self respect that I wish I could go back and read and share the comments with all of you. Women of all sizes, ages, and lifestyles shared their stories about accepting their bodies, no matter what the internet, the media, and obviously social media claim to be our #goals.

CR and I took these pictures a few weeks ago before going out to dinner. I was so excited to wear my new wrap dress . It hits me at all the right places - it shows a little cleavage (perfect for a night out with my boyfriend), it emphasizes my waist, and hits at the spot at my knees that make the dress both appropriate for work and play. I don't always play up the curves I have, but for certain occasions, I let them come out and play.

This afternoon, after waking up from a few hours of sleep after my night shift, I started to edit these pictures. Then I checked my blog stats and found a post that referenced my size quite a bit. I believe that in general, the blog post was positive (it's a foreign blog, and google translate isn't perfect), but it just made me annoyed that it had to be about my body size. I personally don't really feel I need to talk about my average build body all the time - in fact, the only time I really mention what size I even am is when I'm reviewing clothes. I just don't think it's relevant to my story here. I'm just living my life - sharing what I've purchased, occasionally showing what I wore, and telling you guys about my time in medical school. I don't define myself by the size of my pants, the school I go to, or the things I own, so why do other people feel that I should be defined a certain way? How did the internet become so skewed in either direction that people have to write blog posts about average sized girls saying "hey, it's okay to not be skinny!".

Those thoughts started to creep in on me as I was looking through these pictures. My arms aren't as thin as I sometimes wish they were. You can see a bit pudge sticking out on my sides - I suppose that could easily be photoshopped, right? God knows enough instabloggers are making hundreds of thousands of dollars by photoshopping themselves into skinny oblivion. A few clicks could easily tighten up my jawline, and slim down my calves. And then I thought...this is complete bullshit. I'm completely fine with my body - sure, I try to live a healthy life by eating more vegetables and working out when I have the energy, but I've accepted my body for what it is. I have boobs, a round booty, and thicker thighs. If nothing else, I've strived to learn how to dress my body better rather than will it into something it's not. So instead of worrying about the rolls I have or the width of my calves in these pictures, I want to focus on the happiness I had while wearing the dress - the good food I enjoyed and the limited special time I got to spend with my amazing boyfriend. While I'm all about celebrating our bodies, I don't find it necessary to constantly define them. I want to define myself by the person I am and the things I accomplish, not the body I'm in.