21-year-old actress Maika Monroe is on her way to becoming a big star. After small parts in The Bling Ring and Labor Day, she co-starred with Downton Abbey's Dan Stevens in last year's tongue-in-cheek retro thriller The Guest, which deserved a much wider audience than it attracted. It Follows, however, sees her take the lead for the first time in a horror equally as knowing and schlocky as The Guest, and if it doesn't put Monroe's name into the Rolodexes of every Hollywood studio head, then something is terribly wrong with the world.

It Follows comes to cinemas this week, and it is easily the most horrifying horror film released since the horrible Dr Terror’s House Of Horrors. Telling the creepy tale of a young girl who, after some sexytime with her boyfriend, sees visions of people slowly walking towards her with malicious intent. Yes, they mostly just walk towards her, but it’s scary walking. Imagine a terrifying live-action version of Pepé Le Pew.

After months of petty office squabbles and some pretty high stakes betting between colleagues, the Academy Awards are finally upon us... and we're live-blogging the entire night! Find out who wears who, what wins what and why we laughed when that person did that thing, all with real-time updates.

Over the course of Vinnie Jones’s long acting career, the ex-footballer has portrayed a cockney gangster, a cockney criminal, a cockney mutant, a cockney prison guard and a cockney ex-footballer, among many other London-based thuggish characters. This extraordinary versatility must be celebrated in the only form accepted by the internet: Small, low-resolution moving images.

There’s long been a rumour that Jennifer Aniston is actually a really good dramatic actress. But her darker parts in interesting indie films like The Good Girl have been drowned out by the likes of eye-candy roles in We’re The Millers and Horrible Bosses. So despite being overlooked at the Oscars, Cake is the best evidence we’ve had so far that Rachel from Friends is more than just the funny, pretty one.

The Oscars are as predictable as they are entertaining, but if you're in the market for a good time, forget the glamorous antics of the Hollywood elite and focus your attention on our hastily-concocted Oscars Bingo card! Mark off the events as they happen on the night, and if you get a row, you win... er... our respect. Which is worth more than any gold statue, right guys?

Full disclosure up front - I have never read Fifty Shades of Grey. To compound the subjectivity, I am also a man. In short, I am the total opposite of the target audience for EL James’ soft-porn, ovary-inflaming Twilight slash-fic.

So when our intrepid Editor tasked me with going to see the hottest movie of the year, I figured I’d go in as clueless as possible. Because while there are going to be millions of book fans bolstering the box office, there will be an equal number of oblivious ‘plus ones’ accompanying them. So this, fair reader, is our attempt at analysing the movie from those unschooled in the art of Pop Cultural S&M 101.

When watching the calamitous adaptation of EL James' Fifty Shades Of Grey unfold on screen, you may have an awakening. Not a sexual one – although more power to you if you do – but an epiphany of sorts: it'll strike you around 10 minutes in that never before has a movie had so little reason to exist for anything other than financial reasons. Sam Taylor-Johnson – an arthouse director of no small repute – has done her best in bringing James' bonkbuster to the big screen, but in eliminating the truly cringeworthy content from the page (the inner monologues, the incessant lip-biting and blushing, the borderline schizophrenic mentions of "inner goddesses" and "sub-consciousnesses" and such), she's left with a film so bereft of the fundamentals of storytelling that it feels creatively bankrupt from the first orgasm to the last.