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Area Mother Hurt In Tragic Eat-And-Run

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

ROYAL OAK, MI- A 21-year-old Royal Oak man is in custody after his involvement in emotionally wounding his mother in a tragic eat-and-run.

Police say Ryan Kincade, a Marketing Senior at Michigan State University, had arrived for a weekend stay at his parents’ Royal Oak home Friday evening when he allegedly consumed a home-cooked meal, declined a plate of warm peach cobbler and fled the scene around 7:15 pm without so much as a “thank you”.

The perpetrator’s mother, Roberta Kincade, is in stable condition but is nevertheless heartbroken at her son’s lack of appreciation.

Roberta Kincade “slaved in the kitchen for hours” to make her son spaghetti.

“Twelve hours of labor, I put him through college, and now this,” said Roberta Kincade late Friday night. “I made him spaghetti…he loves my spaghetti. Where else is he going to get his spaghetti?”

Walt Kincade, Ryan’s father, was serving himself a second helping of noodles when the incident occurred.

“I heard Ryan mutter something about Duggan’s Pub,” he said. “Then I asked if he was interested in watching a classic episode of The Andy Griffith Show, and that’s when I heard the door slam.”

“I hope he knows what he’s done to his mother.”

Roberta and Walt Kincade spent the remainder of the night surrounded by supportive friends and family.

“I, too, was an eat-and-run victim last Fall,” said neighbor Denise Kopalski. “My daughter came home the night before Thanksgiving and vanished after dinner, claiming it was ‘the biggest bar night of the year’. She didn’t even stay to talk about my needlepoint class.”

Roberta Kincade’s injustice adds to a rising number of local weekend eat-and-runs.

Walt and Roberta Kincade are “very disappointed” in their son.

“Statistically, a perpetrator will return to the scene of the crime early the next morning with no memory of the night before,” said Royal Oak Police Chief Corrigan O’Donohue. “And consequently, they feel little to no remorse of their shameful transgressions.”

Ryan Kincade is expected to be sentenced to house arrest for the remainder of the weekend, but has supporters coming to his defense.

“It’s not Ryan’s fault that his parents suck,” said colleague Kevin Crowley. “I’m gonna bust him out tomorrow. It’s thong night at Club Posh.”