Thursday, January 12, 2012

Previously on Project Runway: A gang of people we’d all seen before showed up and were thrown feet-first into making clothes from the dollar store. Rami tried to prove that he had moved beyond draping by making a strange structural dress that was very impractical but pretty much screamed “FASHION” so he won. Elisa, love her, but a weird tube top and hot pants and wings are not really good. So she’s already gone. But everyone seems to have some level of respect for each other and it’s good to see most of them. The only one that I was not terribly happy to see was Kenley and she really didn’t say anything. (click for more)Angela tells everyone they made it past the first week, and now it’s all about “high end glamour” and show stopping ball gowns. The guest judges get to come out now, who are Badgley and Mischka, and basically say exactly what Angela said. Design a gown for the opera with a “true couture touch”. Everyone thinks Austin will win. They will have one day. Mondo is slightly worried.

30 minutes to sketch. However, Mondo never designs before he shops. He just goes and lets the fabric speak to him. I miss Tim at Mood. Kenley buys pink. April is buying “off-blood red”. Michael starts talking about red too, and apparently Michael asks if she’s going to use red, and she’s like, yeah. That’s why there’s red fabric here. April interviews “If you want to do red, do fucking red.” Michael makes it sound like she’s copying him, but I doubt it. I like April’s comment. Who cares, indeed. Michael tells the employee that he’s not doing red because SOMEONE ELSE is doing red and he’s losing it. OK, drama queen. He buys black matte jersey. That’s elegant. Look, I have nothing against jersey, just that I don’t think of it when I think “couture gown for the opera”.

Kara thinks everyone has realized their competition is good and they’re buckling down. April dyes her red. Several people are worried for her. Michael still works quickly. Austin would hate to lose.

Joanna shows up to investigate. Kenley says she likes that Joanna is the mentor, and pretends it has nothing to do with how she was a bitch to Tim when she was on the show before. Rami has some triangles. Austin knows everyone expects him to win, so he’s kind of nervous about it. Gordana thinks it shouldn’t be a big deal for him. He is making something with gold lamé. April has a very ambitious plan which better work because there is no Plan B. Michael has some like, feathers, or something. Joanna asks if he is making cups for the top, I guess because that helps to prevent nip slips. See, Tim would never have asked that. Kara has some pastels, which is a problem. Joanna tells her so, and I think she might cry which is so sad. Sweet P has a floral thing. Anthony has white, but he promises it will be too sexy to feel bridal.

Rami tries to tell us he’s only human and it’s nice to get some approval. Sweet P has a lot of work to do. Kara still has her pastels. Mondo thinks she’s the weakest, because she doubts herself too much. Yeah. Anthony is wearing a T-shirt that says “Thank you Mood!” Where can we get those? Austin thinks Michael’s dress is too “celebrity” and not enough “socialite”. Interesting. Which will the judges respond to more? Michael still has plenty of work to do.

In the apartment everyone complains about the lack of time and how you can’t make “couture” in one day. Anthony thinks it’s insulting to the world of couture to use that word, so we’ll just call it “really, really, really pumped-up prom dresses”. Hee. Kara confides in Kenley, which saddens me, but then she confides in Austin too so that’s good.

Everyone comes in the next day and freaks out about how much work is left. Trash talking others. Hot makeup guy. I want him to say his name and flirt with Rami. Jerell thinks his model looks like “mo fo money!”

Kenley: it’s pink. It’s a bubble-gum pink ball gown with one tier and a bodice that is hidden by a giant floppy bow that is pink with black polka dots. Jeez. Gordana: long periwinkle dress with a sequined (beaded?) halter top and a skirt that seems to have inset panels in a lighter shade. It’s not flattering at all, because it just highlights where her legs are and the top of the skirt is tight…it’s not good. Rami: off the shoulder dress in a deep pink, almost a red. The bodice is fitted until her hips, right under her butt, and the skirt is pleated where it meets the bodice. The top is all pieced together and looks interesting. It just ends at an unflattering spot. Mila: black sparkly tight dress with a swath of tulle over one shoulder. And sparkly shoes. It’s not exciting, but it’s not bad. Sweet P: halter top in coral and a empire waisted skirt in a coordinating floral print. Oh, it’s bad. It’s not evening and I always think an empire waist makes one look pregnant and it doesn’t look good for Sweet P. Honey, she does not look like Cinderella. Mondo: shiny, shiny silver cocktail dress with a miniskirt and a tail. The train attaches to her butt and drags on the ground, but the skirt is a miniskirt. And she has over the elbow white gloves.

Jerell: empire waist gown with a print and a black bodice with illusion netting. I think the bodice has feathers. It seems fuzzy. The print is a subtle spotted “animal” print that isn’t as bad as the prints we’ve seen so far. The back is sheer. Kara: empire waist strapless gown in a pastel floral print with a black thin belt. You know what it reminds me of? And I hate to say this, but my prom dress was from Laura Ashley, and it was pastel florals with a white lace thing on the bodice. It was TERRIBLE. I am ashamed of it. This is not good, Kara. Anthony: long white Grecian draped gown. One side has a long swath of fabric, which covers her arm, and the other arm is bare. It’s slit down to her navel, with a chain and a pendant for a belt. It’s not bridal, I’ll give him that. Black gloves!? Why? Austin: shiny gold, sweetheart neckline. Then over that is straps and black tulle. Like, the straps cross over her waist and go around her neck like a collar, and the tulle is threaded around the collar so it covers her boobs, and then flares out behind her like a cape. It’s interesting, but I think I want the tulle to be another color. April: red dress, with the bottom half dyed a darker red. It’s one-shouldered, and the bodice is all piecemeal like Rami’s. But there’s nothing going on with the dyed part. It just looks like she waded through a river to get here. Michael: black gown with a keyhole opening. I think he had a rectangular piece that he put across her shoulders, and sewed to the gown so it looks like she has shoulder pads. But the rectangular piece has beading and feathers along the margins. It does look pretty interesting, although then randomly in the back is a train and also that thing where there’s a belt, and then the top of the skirt is like six inches lower on her butt. I don’t really like that.

Anthony, April, Sweet P, Austin, Kara, and Michael are called out as the winners and losers. Anthony made sure to have leather gloves and other touches to keep from having a bridal gown. They love the edge, and that it’s vampy. April did some color, but the dyeing is a problem. When they show a close-up, it’s obvious she was going for an ombre effect, only she didn’t quite make it. The top has some pleats, and a weird neckline. It looks unfinished. Badgley and Mischka hate red and black together. You know, someone somewhere decided that plus size women only want to wear red and black, because I know there was one year when those were the only colors I could find. Bleh. There’s a weird flap over one hip, too. On close-up this dress looks worse. Poor April. Sweet P talks more about Cinderella, and Isaac says “prom dress”, and Georgina wanted her to use the print on the bodice. It’s colorful though. Isaac claims a woman’s boobs are the focus, so the bodice must be fantastic. Everyone loves Austin’s dress, of course. It’s modest, which Isaac loves. Kara says her print isn’t conventional for evening, and they agree (not that that makes it bad), but it’s so simple it must be absolutely perfect. They are nitpicking her belt, because there’s nothing to her dress so it must be done exactly right. Georgina doesn’t see Kara in this dress. Michael wanted everyone to look at his girl when she walked in. Isaac can’t believe he made this in one day, and then says something about Kim Kardashian at the opera. Really? Let’s not encourage that. The judges love the belt thing in the back, so whatever. It’s a thing, I guess. I just don’t like it.

April had a good idea but it didn’t go far enough. It was sloppy, but at least it wasn’t boring. The back looked like she just stitched the extra fabric down. Sweet P had a nice skirt, that is appealing, but the bodice looked like a cheap swimsuit. It wasn’t a ball gown. Well, by that definition, you didn’t have that many ball gowns at all. Kara’s dress gets mixed reviews. The fabric is a problem. Now for the top. Anthony had a beautiful white dress with a specific drape to it, and it was fantastic. Austin’s dress was tasteful but exciting, fresh, executed wonderfully. Michael’s gown was spectacular, if somewhat familiar. And made of jersey, I forgot about that.

Anthony is in. Austin wins, because I’m pretty sure no one wants to tell Austin he got beat by Michael Costello. Michael is in. Kara is safe. April is in. Awe, Sweet P. She’s happy to have met people she watched and respected from afar. And she has a happy life.

Next week: create a “flamboyant” cocktail dress. For Miss Piggy. Awesome. She is on the judging panel. Austin dresses as a flamenco dancer. That is almost as good as dressing drag queens.

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About Me

I'm that annoying friend that always wants to talk all through the TV show, and you don't always get that mad because sometimes she's funnier than the actual show. Except that I won't drown out the dialogue.