This Blog was Invented in Xi'an 5,000 Years Ago

Ranters Wanted

Would YOU be an alcoholic if only you could make it to the meetings? Do YOU possess the ability to have a really good rant whilst obeying the basic rules of grammar? If the answer to these questions is YES, then feel free to share your deepest, innermost thoughts with your friends here at MyLaowai.com

Some Nice Buttons

Can’t Hunt, Fish or Ride?

I read recently about how some Chinese airlines don’t offer a suitable vegetarian meal on international flights, and that this is a violation of IATA rules. Apparently, “Vegetarians in India are not allowed to eat vegetables that grow under the soil and never see the light of day [and that] the only choice is often eating one biscuit, one cake, and drinking one cup of tea”.

Now, I’m the first one to admit that the food on Chinese flights is an appalling, disgusting abomination, but for once I’m on their side. Vegetarians? What the fuck is wrong with these people? ‘Vegetarian‘ is merely shorthand for ‘the village idiot who can’t hunt, fish or ride‘.

These vegetarian types really piss me off. Why do they get special treatment? I’m a strict meatatarian, but you don’t see me whining about the piece of soggy spinach that lies there ruining my piece of delicious chicken or beef, do you? Sure, maybe you don’t like all the added clenbuterol in Chinese pork, and that’s fair enough. But that’s no excuse to go around eating a bunch of potherbs and pretending that you are somehow better than everyone else.

Fuck you, vegetarians. Now you’ve got IATA drawing up a list of 54 special meals and their specific ingredients for you and your skeletal buddies. Check out these, for example:

Jew-onna-stick, that’s fucked up! If I asked for a special meal that contained only proper, manly, life-giving meat, I’d be told to simply ignore the vegetables, so why can’t you horrible whiny brats just ignore the meat, if you don’t like it?

And if you thought vegetarians were bad (and they are), then the religious types are even worse! Religious and vegetarian? That’s two completely unrelated types of clinical insanity inside one head – if this is you, then eating special meals is the least of your problems, sunshine. You shouldn’t be allowed to fly – you shouldn’t even be allowed outside the confines of your padded room without a burly, white-coated escort.

Remember back in the good old days? When you could have a smoke and a drink and shag the stewardess in the aft galley (pun intended)? Then the airlines banned smoking because not having to clean the air led to fuel savings, and they started hiring homosexual men and ugly, middle-aged broads with attitudes as big as their ankles, and made it illegal to have sex onboard, so that even if you still wanted to join the Mile High Club, you couldn’t. Then those no-good Yanks made even getting on to a plane an experience so awful that you no longer wanted to fly. And all those cut-rate, penny-pinching airlines in America and Australia started making you pay extra for your drinks, as if fares weren’t expensive enough already. And now you can’t even order a meal without some IATA vegetarian wanker demanding that it be gluten lacto diabetic sodium free!

It’s no fucking wonder people fly their planes into buildings from time to time. It’s probably the only thing left to do.

*

This post has been brought to you by the letter A, the number 4, and the guys at:Best Business Degrees

Advertisements

Rate this:

Share this:

Like this:

LikeLoading...

Related

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 31, 2011 at 12:43 and is filed under Food.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

18 Responses to “Can’t Hunt, Fish or Ride?”

Hans Dampfsaid

Nips Are Greatsaid

And you know, yes I hate to admit it, but every now and then a yellow runt does or says something that makes you feel that some of them do have more than rice gruel for brains.

That’s when you’re out with a vegetarian and it’s meal time. Lunch or dinner. And you order it ’cause the fucking nut-shitter can’t speak a word of gobbledy-gook. And you tell the waitress “No meat, my friend is a nut-shitter.” And the food arrives and it looks passable because it’s all green and the nut-shitter is all smiles and before he or she digs in says something about how cool the chinks are and then puts some in his mouth and says, “There’s meat in this.” And so you ask the waitress over and she does the run around and comes back saying…

“Yes, the cook knows you wanted only vegetable dishes, but he put a little meat in for taste. It needs taste.”

chinatoiletsaid

The same goes to their fucking lazi (red spicy), they put it in practically every fucking meal. No matter how often I say: WO BUYAO LAZI. But these bastards ALWAYS put some in it. “It is for the taste…”. Fuck you. Well, now i know why they serve almost everything with that fucking diarrhea lazi: That way you won’t taste the shitty and rotten food + meat so easily! I am sure shit with lazi will be just great chinese food.

You don’t believe me? Eat chinese dishes around here in without lazi (if you can..)..and then you will taste real chinese world’s best and superior cuisine…mmhh…chinese food is so delicious…

chinatoiletsaid

Oh, and not to forget the chinese vinegar and chinese soya sauce. 2 of 3 main ingredients (beside lazi) in practically ALL chinese cuisine creations. This sophisticated and obligatory ingredients in chinese “cuisine” will even make you enjoy a dog turd and human flesh. Not to forget the syphillis saliva from your fellow eaters. Food needs taste!!

Hans Dampfsaid

again i stand corrected , but living in the empire of greed and ignorance does impact my vocabulary sadly. Soon the rest of the world will be claimed by chinese drunk dragon as it truly has always already belonged to the motherland…

Truer than you realise. This lot already have claims in on Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand, the Philippines, Vietnam, North and South Korea, Japan, the entire Himalayan region, parts of India, all of Tibet, East Turkestan, Taiwan, parts of Russia, and more. And of course the Arctic, the Antarctic, the entire South China Sea, the entire East China Sea, parts of the Indian Ocean, and so on and so forth.

Which is ironic, because they can’t even manage to run a noodle shop properly.

Chinese Netizensaid

I use Tumblr as a middle-man between the micro-blogging on Jaiku and Twitter and the blogs (exactly where I adore WP too). Tumblr is great as most kind of notebook but I wouldn’t use it as the only way to talk my personal brand.

Improbable distribute! That could aid a number of those discern out regarding this matter. Do you would want to include movie clips collectively with these? It may definitely help out. Your motive was spot on and owing to you; I in all chance will not have to illustrate almost everything to my pals.

I am chinesesaid

this is a lie as always on this page. Only to make China look bad because you are jealous. Airlines in China are the best in the world and also have best food. I fly one time with air france (a foreign airlines) and they have no chinese food!! is this international??? is this modern? an we all people are CHINESE in plane!!! also they treat chinese people very bad, becvause smpke in tolet! what is wrong with you stupid foreigners??? you must respect chinese people and change yourself, and not talk about airline in china! look at you first foreigner then speak!

I am chinesesaid

and i know foreigner now, because i was in france. and the foreigners in france (the french people) also said french airline very bad! and food very bad! so you foreigners say yourself! hehe! see??? you are not good as you think, china is better!

Haarausfall stoppensaid

Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few
of the images aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue.
I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same results.