Though over 50 years have passed since Robert Redford lost his first-born child to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), the actor admits he is still dealing with the loss. According to Wikipedia, Scott Anthony Redford was born on September 1, 1959, and died on November 17, 1959, at age 2½ months.

In a new interview with AARP The Magazine, the 74-years-old, speaks about the hardship of losing his son:

“It was really hard. We were very young. I had my first theater job, which didn’t pay much. We didn’t know anything about SIDS, so the only thing you think is that you’ve done something wrong. As a parent, you tend to blame yourself. That creates a scar that probably never completely heals.”

Robert and first-wife Lola Van Wagenen went on to have three other children, and he is now the grandfather of five. On the subject of age he says, “I ride horses, ski, play pretty hard tennis. I still have energy. When that starts to shut down, I might start to think about age. When you get older, you learn certain life lessons. You apply that wisdom, and suddenly you say, ‘Hey, I’ve got a new lease on this thing. So let’s go.'”

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i wish that more people would talk about their SIDS experiences. it is still so hush-hush. when it happens you feel like no one else can understand what you are going through, pain, guilt…… knowing that other people, well known or not, have survived this could help others heal….

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