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Going through a set-back

My little Penga (25 weeker, now 39 week gestational (corrected) - still in ICN) suddenly had series of brady last Sunday. Two of them were really bad -it took several nurses to stabilize Penga. Medication change, water retention, and immunization shots are possible cause...... We were 4 days away from her coming home.

Now she is in stable condition but she is back on nasal cannula (which she hates - Penga cried really hard when cannula was put on her). She won't be able to come home for another 10 days or so.

Plus she gets tired so easily with BF. Penga had finally started nursing both breasts for 20-25 minutes total without much trouble, but today she managed to BF only one breast before falling asleep, looking so tired. She desat after BF once and other time she resisted my breast (I gave her bottle with little BM and after that she nursed OK, though.)

It just hit me. She is still so fragile. When things like this happen, BF becomes such a sensitive issue. I want our nursing to be warm relaxing relationship but I am constatly watching her color & behavior and monitor to make sure she is not over-tired. It is stressful.

We are still extremely grateful that Penga has not had any other major medical complication so far. We have spent more than 3 months in the NICU and ICN, so just 10 more days should be short. But it is very hard. I guess I am running out of gas and anxiety from seeing Penga suffer is very high.

Just needed to get this out.....I guess I just need lots of hugs

- - - Penga (@ 32 weeks gestational) and my DH

Mother of two girls:
Sydney (born 10/31/01- nursed until 3 yrs & 10 mos)
Penga (born 08/15/07 - former 25 weeker who loves to nurse)

Re: Going through a set-back

Jackie

"Breastfeeding is an unsentimental metaphor for how love works, in a way. You don't decide how much and how deeply to love--you respond to the beloved, and give with joy exactly as much as they want."~ Marni Jackson"

Re: Going through a set-back

I'm sorry shes been having a hard time...
Do they have a support group at the hospital! I think I would need somebody to talk to..
She's going to get beter and come home then you can love her 24 hours!

Re: Going through a set-back

It must have been so hard to hear that her coming home day had been put off for another ten days. Robert was in the NICU for 5 months, and towards the end of his stay there, every day felt like a week.

You'll get through these ten days, then your little one will be where she belongs, with you and, amazing you every day with her progress.

Re: Going through a set-back

Thank you, everyone I read this thread and your messages everyday, especailly when I was so down. All your comments are so comforting and reassuring.

Karen J, I visited Robert's web site. It is so encouraging to see Robert thriving. Your insightful and heartfelt words touched me.

Today, Penga is off the nasal cannula. A couple of days ago, she also got out of the incubator into an open crib

Breastfeeding has been difficult. Yesterday, Penga refused to nurse all day long. It was very tough seeing her screaming when I wanted to comfort her Today was a different day, though. She nursed twice on one breast. We had a great kangaroo session, too. I will hang in there. Hope to bring good news again soon.

- - - Penga (@ 32 weeks gestational) and my DH

Mother of two girls:
Sydney (born 10/31/01- nursed until 3 yrs & 10 mos)
Penga (born 08/15/07 - former 25 weeker who loves to nurse)