‘Now’ is back then and ahead, but never actually ‘now’. Now is never enough and it’s all too much to think about the discrepancy between how it is and how it should be. And time isn’t kind, and time doesn’t stop, and time doesn’t give you that chance to catch up. It runs away, chasing the future, ahead and further afar.

I lack the endurance to go the distance. To always be running through the past to get to the present which leads into the future. And they say that you shouldn’t anyway – that you should focus on the present and always be in the moment, but my now is where I’ve become stuck in my past and there’s no way to teleport myself from where I am today to where I should be but am not.