Working Out With Your Significant Other: Good or Bad Idea?

Hitting the gym together can test even the strongest bond. Here’s how to know if it’s a good idea for your relationship

Working Out With Your Significant Other: Good or Bad Idea?Hitting the gym together can test even the strongest bond. Here’s how to know if it’s a good idea for your relationship

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It’s one of those things that always sounds like a fab idea: you and your partner hitting the gym and getting fit as a twosome. On one hand, it’s a way to spend more quality time together—and if you’re in the early stages of a relationship, a date idea that’s way more fun (and hot!) than dinner and a movie. Plus, supporting each other’s fitness goals can enhance your connection. “You’re helping each other improve your game and get healthy together, and that can leave you feeling more attracted to each other,” says Los Angeles–based psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D.

But there are a few factors that can keep romantic partners from becoming successful gym partners. First, if you’re not at the same fitness level. Let’s say you run an eight-minute mile, while your guy lags way behind. You’ll probably slow down a bit to match his pace at first. But after a while, the differences in your abilities will compromise your performance, and that can trigger resentment on your part (and potentially unhealthy competition on his), says Thomas.

Same thing if your level of fitness commitment isn’t in sync—for example, you have no problem skipping a sweat session if something else winds up on your calendar, while he never misses a day. When you beg off to watch a True Blood marathon or have dinner with friends, he might give you a hard time, which might make you feel like a slacker, says Thomas.

Thing is, you won’t know if you’re compatible workout buddies until you give it a try. So Thomas suggests hitting the gym together for a few sessions to see how it feels. If you feel supported and motivated, keep going together. But if you feel criticized or undermined, it may be a better idea to work out solo. Better to go your separate ways at the gym than build resentment, start fighting…and go your separate ways as a couple.