Even though it's a minority vote, I see it the way Willy Nilly does. I don't think the question is horribly intrusive per se, but I think it's much better form to simply ask if the person texts. Or ask if they prefer texts over calls.

Inquiring about their plan is just a bit off, imo, partly because it's not even the real question. It's possible for people to not like texting but still have an unlimited plan if it's a business phone, for example.

Huh... it never would occur to me to ask about someone's phone plan. I mean I do see how it could be considerate, but I think there are lots of times it would just be odd. I know if someone asked me if I had unlimited texting I would think we were having a conversation about phones, which yeah I've had plenty of conversations about phones (iPhone, Droid, BB, razors, bluetooth, keyboards, etc) and service providers, but never as part of flirting. Or if it was flirting I think I'd be thinking whoa how much do you plan to text me? What am I getting myself into here?.

Obviously it worked in this situation , but I don't know it should be a standard.

I disagree. I think it shows thought and consideration and is a very sweet gesture overall.

Or if it was flirting I think I'd be thinking whoa how much do you plan to text me? What am I getting myself into here?.

Obviously it worked in this situation , but I don't know it should be a standard.

haha that is EXACTLY what I was thinking! In this situation, I think it made more sense and was very considerate, but in general, I would be a little worried I'd picked up a frugal stalker

Haha, The Frugal Stalker would be an awesome character for a comedy skit!

I think it was considerate to ask if you text, definitely. It was also nice to ask about the amount of texts, but, were I the recipient of said question I'd definitely be thinking "I hope she plans to have an actual conversation soon and not *just* text me."

I'm slightly confused (which, some would say, is a perfectly normal state for me to be in )

Do you get charged to receive texts? I've had a mobile phone in the UK since they were analogue (got my first phone in 1995), so before you could text (you couldn't even do voicemail!) and, ever since I've been digital (since 2000 or so) I've been able to "do" texts. I've been PAYG and on contract and it's never* cost me to receive a text. For a lot of my friends, it's our standard way of communicating, because you're not beholden to the other person's timeframe.

Is it standard with plans in the US to charge to receive a text?

*unless it's a competition I've entered by text or similar, where they get your "entry fee" by charging you for the text received.

I'm slightly confused (which, some would say, is a perfectly normal state for me to be in )

Do you get charged to receive texts? I've had a mobile phone in the UK since they were analogue (got my first phone in 1995), so before you could text (you couldn't even do voicemail!) and, ever since I've been digital (since 2000 or so) I've been able to "do" texts. I've been PAYG and on contract and it's never* cost me to receive a text. For a lot of my friends, it's our standard way of communicating, because you're not beholden to the other person's timeframe.

Is it standard with plans in the US to charge to receive a text?

*unless it's a competition I've entered by text or similar, where they get your "entry fee" by charging you for the text received.

Yes, if you are on a pay-per-text plan, in the US you pay to send and you also pay to receive. If you're on a family plan with your spouse for example, when your spouse texts you, you get charged twice. Once when spouse sends the text and once when you receive it. It's the same with calls, incidentally. You use minutes no matter who initiates the call.

In the USA, many (not all) cell phone carriers will give you "free" calls between members on the same family plan and many of them will give you "free" calls for any calls from other people with the same carrier. Others will allow you to pick a limited number of phones that your calls will not have minutes charged against - depends on the carrier and your plan, though.

Sometimes the more expensive the plan, the more benefits.............sometimes the age of the person with that phone makes a difference (seniors or very young children get "free" calls to & from their parents' phone and a couple of others - the "emergency contact numbers", perhaps).

But it varies by carrier......and different regions may have different regional carriers as well as the more usual national carriers..........

My parents live in an area that Sprint coverage is almost nil, Verizon & AT&T are usually good (not great, but useable), and the best service on a cell phone is the regional carrier for that area of West Texas (sparsely populated area in a semi-arid region of the country). I don't know about the other reasonably large carriers - as we don't have service with them!

My first cell phone plan did not have texting included, and I would get several spammy/wrong number texts per month in addition to texts from friends who forgot I didn't have a texting plan. I got charged I think 40 cents per text.

In the USA, most texting plans charge for both outgoing AND incoming text messages and phone calls, which makes telemarketers especially aggravating for those of us with limited minutes. I just switched to US Cellular, though, and a major reason I did so was that ALL incoming stuff (texts, calls, photo messages) is free, just like a landline phone (except landlines usually can't receive texts/pictures). So now I don't have unwanted/unbudgeted expenses if a spammer/forgetful friend/new acquaintance bombards me with texts, or if Grandma calls and wants to talk for a half hour at the end of the month.

On landline phones in the USA, the caller is the one paying for the call. An exception would be if they call the operator and place a "collect" call to a person- the operator than dials the intended recipient of the call and asks if they will accept a collect call. If the call recipient doesn't want to pay for the call, they can just refuse and not be charged.

As an interesting aside, prior to the invention of the postage stamp, the mailman used to charge the recipient of each letter upon delivery. However, people had the ability to refuse delivery and not pay for the letter- an option that is denied most text message users.

All that to say, it's nice when people have a choice in whether or not they want to pay for something foisted upon them, but since the modern US cell phones system is not set up that way, it's thoughtful of people to make accommodation for those of us who can't afford the all-unlimited plans.