A mall in Guildford, BC, completely removed their physical playground for kids and replaced it wiiiith…. iPads. I just don’t understand… With all the publicity out there, all the articles, all the journals saying that our society is getting too fat, our kids imaginations are crumbling, and our overall brain power is essentially dwindling to nothing… STILL companies do things like this; the complete opposite of every journal, every article, every news story.

What a nice camping theme…. There’s a waterfall, a tent, a tree. It’s almost like you’re outside! Now keep in mind, this is the BEFORE picture…

This seems like the typical playground… Kids playing, just overall ridiculously excited to be just… climbing. I wish I could still get excited over simple things like that (even though sometimes I do), but I think it’s the fact that’s just so easy for kids to enjoy the little things, that they should be encouraged to do it! Seeing as all the parents are sitting on the sidelines… Which, again, is typical, and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. They’re tired. So why the mall completely overhaul this playground…?

… And the AFTER. No more climbing, jumping, romping… unless there’s a sweet climbing/jumping/romping app on those iPads.

Liability. We live in a world where everyone, everywhere is afraid of getting sued. A kid’s not allowed to get a couple bumps. A worker isn’t allowed to lift a heavy box without permission. A coffee joint isn’t allowed to sell coffee without a warning to the drinker that the hot coffee is indeed…. hot. Every action by a company and government, is to protect them from being sued. And rightly so….. why? Because there are people out there who wait like sharks for the chance TO SUE. Because then all of their financial troubles will be over at the expense of someone else. But they don’t care…. They slightly burned their hand with coffee, so they deserve it.

Seeing as I’m essentially leading into a subject that I’ll probably be writing about separately (and believe me, it’ll be long…), I’m going to leave it there. However, there’s another blog written by a man who actually took his kids to this playground (before the transformation), and he wrote a pretty good post about it, more geared towards stupid parents, which I like.

**First off, I’m still here… I know this is basically how amateur blogging goes; you start out strong, then slowly dwindle down into nothingness, then bounce back, then dwindle… repeat. I’m cool with this… I believe the more I accept it, the more I’ll be inclined to write stuff. Also, my recent “break” in blogging included a giant life change which may or may not have included moving to the Arctic, so I’m just going to chalk it up to that.**

The Apple Watch was released yesterday, or the (i)Watch, which I’m preeettyy sure everyone is going to call it regardless of what Apple says…

… But on the other hand, people tend to do exactly what Apple says. Personally, I think Apple should open a new store in one of the most remote regions of the world, release a one time product that will only be released at this store, and see how many people convince themselves that they’re in shape enough to travel to this store, and subsequently take selfies of themselves dying in an attempt to get this product. I know, that was a run-on sentence, but sometimes the best thoughts are.

The Apple Watch… Complete with the ability to TEXT your HEARTBEAT to someone, creating a new, awkward way to convey your feelings with even less words.

Now, I’m sure there are several benefits to this product, right? Definitely not anything I’d be able to think of in time for this post, but the next post, for sure… Maybe the one after that. Going through the features of the watch once it was released, it basically had all the fun stuff usually associated with Apple products, but there are some features that just give that inkling feeling that Apple products just aren’t going to work out in the future. For example, texting on this thing is obviously not going to be the most practical, being that it has a tiny screen and most of us have relatively fat fingers… with remnant grease on them, most of the time. So instead, they develop a “new and innovative” way of communicating, where you make little swirleys and swiggly lines toooo…. communicate? To quote off of Apple’s site:

“You don’t even have to use words. The Digital Touch features on Apple Watch give you fun, spontaneous ways to connect with other Apple Watch wearers, wrist to wrist.”

The first sentence bothers me… “You don’t even have to use words”. Unfortunately, unless you’re part of a Grade 8 gigglefest of girls, words are probably a little more handy than squiggly lines, ultimately continuing the tradition of Grade 8 boys not knowing what f*#% the girls are talking about. No one is planning a lunch date or meeting with squiggles. **Sidenote: I guarantee you it took probably 2.43 minutes from the time of purchase of the very first Apple Watch, for someone to squiggle a penis**.

Alright, it’s time I got the point of this post. These new features are unforunately not a sign of innovation, they’re a sign of desperation. While smartphones are capable of doing many many many things, and in some people’s eyes, they should be able of doing everything, everywhere, at all times, I believe people are going to come to the realization that there are only so many things that are practical on a smartphone. And they’ve pretty well all been created. Apple has reached the point (probably awhile ago) where features are simply created so their market shares stay high, which can keep a company afloat for a little while even. At some point, however, they’re going to release a product with a feature that’s going to be the clincher… It’s going to “click” in people, as they say “I don’t get it”. Will it be with the Apple Watch after we give it a couple days of people using it? We’ll see… If not, we can only hope it’s with the next product launch, I’m assuming will be exactly one year from now…

There are a lot of things going on on this crazy planet of ours, it can get pretty distracting, but do you ever stop to think and wonder “How close DO asteroids get to pummeling Earth?”. Neither do I, but it’s one of the countless things we take for granted while we live here.

So lo and behold, an asteroid!! A solid close call that should be taking place…. today. NASA has a program called the Near-Earth Object Program, which I’ve heard about once before ages ago, but basically attempts to track as many asteroids, comets, etc., and attempt to depict their drunken paths through the solar system, as opposed to their sober counterparts which stay in their orbit….. if they stick to their rehab.

This one would be a little too close for comfort.

The asteroid will be passing between the Earth and the Moon, which apparently hasn’t happened since 1976, only this time we actually know about it before it happens. It’s roughly the size of the Toronto Rogers Centre, according to CBC.ca, but for our American comrades….. Yankee Stadium? That’s just a guess on my part. I can only assume stadiums and arenas are more or less the same size, and if this asteroid were actually making a house call to Earth, I doubt it would matter.

The next event like this shouldn’t happen again until 2028, giving plenty of time for an up-and-coming supervillain to totally use it to his/her advantage. Unfortunately the Avengers are making an appearance NOW of all times, which means we’re totally screwed down the line. I think that movie’s going to be a total let-down.