For Married Leaders

“Going back as a pastor, and maybe just as a husband in general, I wish I had affirmed my wife more. I wish I had told her I was there for her, and, even more than any of that, I wish I had asked her how I could do things better.” – Thom Rainer

My family and I. Photo credit: Alexis Catapane

This quote is specifically for all of you leaders out there who are married. However, I encourage all you single people to keep this quote in your pocket for the future. We have a tendency to forget the the truth of the old cliché that “our first ministry is at home.” My wife and I have only made it two years into our marriage, but if there is one thing I have learned, it’s that marriage requires intentional effort.What happens to me is that I get too caught up in ministry. I love it. I know myself well enough to know that , if I let myself, I would spend so much time doing ministry that my wife and son would forget who I am! (I exaggerate, but you get the idea.) Really, I am stealing time away from my family and giving it to ministry. Not that ministry is not important, but it is not more important that your family.

Here is how it happens for me. It is not always that I’m going out and doing ministry to the neglect of my family. Where I am most guilty is at home, when I am preparing sermons, making bulletins, and fielding text messages. It is in those times that I need to bring my self back to the moment and be with them. Thom Rainer, the person who said today’s quote, spent decades as a pastor and said that statement looking back at his time spent in the pastorate.

Let’s not let that be our testimony! Let’s be mindful of our family’s needs and be present with them!

For those of you who have been married a while, how do you keep the balance between family and ministry? Leave us your tips in the comments or on FaceBook!