Researchers surveyed more than 4,600 people ages 15 to 25 and questioned them regarding their porn-viewing and their sexual habits, including risky behaviors such as paying for sex or meeting someone online for sex. They expected to find that frequent porn-users might be more inclined to pursue these high-risk sexual behaviors, but they found that porn’s impact was quite limited. Instead, a person’s likelihood of indulging in risky sexual behavior increased based on their personality. Thrill-seekers and those who loved to take risks in their day-to-day life were more likely to engage in such behaviors inside the bedroom, regardless of their porn use.

So does that mean that frequent porn-viewing can’t impact a teen’s desires and ideas about sex?

Not necessarily. It’s important to take this study with a grain of salt. Most notably, the study was performed in the Netherlands, a country which is leaps and bounds ahead of the United States when it comes to sex education. They have a dramatically lower teen birth rate, as well as a lower abortion rate and a lower incidence of STDs. Much of this can be attributed to their behavior regarding sexuality. While our country still struggles to keep comprehensive sex education in schools, students in the Netherlands feel safe discussing sex openly with their teachers and parents. Rather than viewing sex as dirty or shameful, they tend to take a more open and positive view of their bodies and sexuality.

It’s a distinct cultural difference and one that should be taken into account when discussing this study and pornography, because for many American teens, pornography is all they ever learn about sex. And, as such, they can end up with a very distorted view of sexuality and the male and female body.

Additionally, porn use can be abundant, even among younger teens and tweens. A recent study found that 42 percent of kids ages 10 to 17 have viewed online pornography in the last year. Some teens are exposed to pornography without even wanting to be, whether it’s from XXX-rated spam or a mass email among friends that includes sexual photographs or messages.

That’s why it’s so important to talk to teens about pornography. Let’s follow in the Netherlands’ footsteps and start normalizing sexuality and discussions of sexuality. If we want to keep our kids safe and if we want to teach them to respect their bodies and to make smart sexual choices, we can only do so by talking with them and by giving them the information they need.

We can start by talking about difficult topics like pornography, even if it makes us embarrassed. Don’t assume that your child hasn’t been exposed to such materials, because chances are good that they might have been. Talk to them about how the bodies in pornography are not realistic and that most men and women don’t look like that. Talk about how the sexual behavior in such movies is very unrealistic and how it’s important to always look for consent from your partner. Remind them that consent is an “enthusiastic yes” rather just a lack of a “no,” and that an inebriated person cannot consent to sex.

You might think that they aren’t listening, but trust me, they are. Nothing is more important than your support and your influence, so step up and get involved.

Get the latest health updates

Thanks for signing up!

Oops!

A system error was encountered. Please try again later.

Follow us on your favorite social network!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Laura Berman, PhD

Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the...read more