Another child?

After giving birth to my lil boy, I said I didn’t want another one due to what I went through. To be honest I am petrified. Probably 3 days after coming home from the hospital, he talked about giving our lil boy a sibling. I was shocked. I thought we agreed it’s fine if we have just him. Obviously not. So I’ve been going through this massive guilt trip. If we don’t try and give him a sibling, he’ll be an only child and lonely.

Physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, I am not ready. I am scared. Also I love this lil dude so much, I just wanna spend all the time with him and love him with my everything.

I remember what I was like when I was pregnant. I had morning sickness for a long time. I couldn’t stand a lot of smell and couldn’t deal with a lot of flavourful food. I was constantly tired. I just wanted to sleep all the time. Yes. All.The.Time.

This time round I will have a toddler to look after. I can’t bear the thought of not being able to play with him as much as I can now. I can’t bear the thought of being humungous and not able to run around with him.

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3 thoughts on “Another child?”

I can’t pretend I know anything that you must be feeling right now. He knows in a way what you went through, but it is different actually being the one going through pregnancy and delivery. Maybe sit him down and really explain your side of things, how you feel (you probably have already, just make sure it really hits home with him what he’s asking of you). Maybe you could compromise to talk about it again in a while (months or years?).
Also if you do decide to try for another, try not too feel too worried about it all going the same way, each pregnancy is so different, you may sail through it and I have heard that the second birth isn’t as bad! (Though no one hold me to that!)
This probably wasn’t very helpful but know that if you feel you definitely can’t go through it again there are other options out there to have another child, they take time but you may later feel that you would love another little one to share your life with.
Whatever you choose don’t feel pressured and or guilty! Your child will not know any different and I know a lot of people that love being an only child.
Sorry this was so long!

Thank you so much for your words. 🙂
I really appreciate you taking the time.

My partner’s reasoning is that he’d like the kids to be close in age. Neither of us had siblings our age to play with when we were little. I was ok with that but I get the feeling that my partner would’ve wanted a sibling his age to grow up with.

I know my partner does love me but I don’t think he fully understood what I went through. He always say that sometimes we have to do what we don’t want to do coz … ‘That’s Life’.

I get where he is coming from, id like my little man to have a sibling close enough in age.
And I get the ‘that’s life’ bit if we were talking about going to work or lunch with in laws but pregnancy and child birth isn’t the same thing, its very risky for mental and physical health. Maybe show him some of the posts on maternal mental health that are going around? I don’t think men could fully understand what we go through
No problem 🙂