It was once said that "He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how" I am trying to find my "why"

…

I wonder if this is how he felt before the six days of creation, if HIM also was laying on his bed, looking through different media of creativity in hopes to get moved by them all or one of them, or may be just to justify his urge to create and what justification to creativity is, but water to fire.

They say great art comes out of heartbreak but sometimes it is too broken to redeem existence in any form, all forms or none.

Was he thinking about a lost encounter in a random space that could have added a spectrum to the otherwise colorful darkness shadowing a nonchalant breath of mediocrity?