What I want and What I want…

Can you say tautology? I know the title is a confusing tautology but life is confusing. I listened to a radio show about happiness. The man on the radio mentioned how, many people when asked the question, what will make you happy answered the same way. I will be happy when I am on a beach sunbathing and drinking. The man on the radio then went on to explain that many people who were given the chair and the drink on the beach still were not happy. We think we know what will make us happy but we are often wrong.

A friend of mine asked me something and I answered honestly. “Will running ever stop sucking?” “No, but I love it.” I lied to her. I should have said “No, but I love it because after I complete my run I feel great! Nothing can stop me at the end of my run.” That is why I run in the morning. My days can be long and pretty tough but no matter what happens today, I can handle it.

I was 13 years old and at a summer day camp. There was a lake with a floating dock in the middle of it. I swam far as fast as I could towards the floating dock. I swear this was the hardest I had ever swum. I didn’t stop swimming till I reached the dock. I pulled my self up onto the dock and sun warmed my body as I lay on the dock. The sun I felt on the dock was the same sun I had felt on the shore of the lake but on that dock, the sun brought me so much joy. I was happy because I earned that happiness.

Let’s get something straight here, I am grateful for my life. I understand that every day is a gift but I also understand that not living out my life by not earning my happiness is one of the biggest acts of the ungrateful.

In the Christian religious text, the Messiah tells a parable about three servants that were given talents, Matthew 25:14-30. Some servants used the talent and multiplied them, these servants were rewarded others simply hid the talents, these servants were punished and deemed bad stewards.

A good steward earns their happiness through grateful dedication and hard work and service for others and their self.