Jun 28, 2012

So, I've realized I start a lot of sentences with the word "so." So, anyway. We were traveling back from a gymnastics meet, probably in March or something like that. It's been awhile. I know that we had to take two cars because even though it was a Saturday, my husband was working and had to meet us there. Being still relatively new to Texas, we were in an area I was completely unfamiliar with. Heading home, I plugged our address into my GPS. I also asked my husband who was more familiar with the area what he thought was the best way home. So, he told me to go straight, turn here and then keep going straight. Okay, so maybe it was more detailed than that, but the point was that he gave me directions to get home. Directions he thought were the best route. Directions he was going to follow himself. So, we head on out. I'm following him, all is good. But then we got separated at a traffic light. I kept following the directions he told me but when I was supposed to go straight, my GPS told me to turn. I looked for my husband. I couldn't see him anywhere and I started to doubt the directions. He had told me to go straight. He had been on this road before. He was on the road as I drove along. But I couldn't see him and I had my GPS telling me to turn. You know what I did? I turned.

And that's when I had this thought. As long as I could see his car, I was okay following his directions. As soon as I lost sight of him, I didn't trust those directions anymore. In other words, I didn't trust him. Ouch. That was hard for me to accept but I know it was the truth. I know my husband wouldn't steer me wrong. I know my husband was familiar with the roads. I know my husband was on the same road, leading the way. I know my husband wanted only the best for me. And yet somehow, that wasn't enough.

Made me think about how that is true with God, too. I know God wouldn't steer me wrong. I know God is familiar with my path. I know God is with me in this journey of life, leading the way. I know God wants only the best for me. And somehow, that still isn't always enough. As soon as I lose sight of him, I begin to doubt. Ouch.

I pray that I will trust God. I pray that I will remember whether I can see him or not, that I will know he is there, leading me home.

Psalm 143:10 (CEV)

You are my God. Show mewhat you want me to do, and let your gentle Spiritlead me in the right path.

So, going back to the drive. Did I get home alright? Yep, I sure did. And it only took me about 20 minutes longer than it took him!!! Sometimes I wonder if I will ever learn to trust in others. To know that I don't always have the best solution. To be open to God's leading. I wonder.

I have had so many thoughts about what I want to do with this blog. And I want to do it right. But I've realized that in trying to determine the "perfect" way to do this blog, I have paralyzed myself from doing anything. So you know what? I'm not going to worry about the structure of every sentence. I'm not going to worry if I have some fabulous photo to go with my post. I'm not going to worry about the theology behind what I'm trying to say. I'm just going to say what pops into my mind. So be warned. It may not make sense. It could flat out be off base. It could be completely uninspiring. But, I'm going to do it anyone. With that in mind, this blog is the kind of thoughts that ramble through my head. I just wonder if they make sense to anyone else at all.