Book Review – A Promise of Fire

Everyone, welcome to this session of “How Many Tropes Can We Fit Into One Book?”

You will notice that your usual host has been rendered speechless by the absurd level of trope stuffing in this book, so I’ve taken over for today.

Now, for all of you that wanted a copy of Kate Daniels without the badass Kate and the hotness of Curran, but with some teenage drama thrown in, you’ve come to the right place.
I present to you Cat, a heroine who is massively unsuited to her name because it implies she has some level of chill. She does not, folks.
Things Cat likes to do:
– be in denial, denial, denial
– needlessly drown in sexual tension
– lead unsuspecting men on
– think about a prophecy so fearsome she never completes her thoughts on it
– make weak quips that leave the reader cringing
– boast about her badassery and promptly get one-upped by someone
– worry about revealing her secrets while yapping on about them all the freaking time
– poke others about their lack of etiquette knowledge while not having any herself
– act like a stupidly hormonal teenager
– talk about the wings in her chest till you die of boredom

But wait, I hear you say. What is Kate Daniels-esque about this? Fear not, I’m getting to that segment next.

Here are all the things that are clearly “inspired” by Ilona Andrews’ series:

– a young woman with a great deal of hidden power and a dark past
– said young woman is in hiding as an ordinary person, wears her dark hair in a braid
– said young woman’s powers are discovered pretty darn quickly by hero
– these mysterious overwhelming powers are from a family bloodline
– protagonist has one dead/missing parent, the other is a psychotic despot
– the evil parent that is alive wants to take over the world with protag
– protag’s powers can be traced through blood so everything is constantly bio-hazard
– main character is the subject of a world-changing prophecy
– hero is not magical like protag but stupendously strong and has high immunity
– hero is an alpha male that won’t take no for an answer, has a coterie of loyal hot guy followers
– said coterie of attractive males immediately bonds with heroine, lifelong friendships ahoy
– heroine has a tendency to get injured to the point of death
– main character is a high level hand-to-hand combatant, proficient with blades
– said protagonist is also the only person well versed on the world building and lore
– has a horse-mule sidekick with a strange name
– I could go on but you probably get the idea now

Just a second, I’m getting some information from the production team. The polls have come in and audiences have voted that the book is…meh, whatever.
Female viewers have sent in their opinion and they say that “description says Kato is like an Adonis, but all I imagined was a golden retriever.”

Also, we would like to bring your attention to the fact that the setting is boring and not well explained. Sources say that the problem is most likely the fact that all authors plan for a ten-book deal these days and hence do not give a damn about plot development. In particular, someone has noted that “Cat is ridiculously OP in every way, so whatever is convenient, she can do. But she will lose all her abilities when the hero needs to amp up the sexual tension for a bit.”

To sum up this episode: a heroine no one cares about, in a world we know nothing about, with a romance we don’t care about conducts some emotional flailing and the book ends. That’s all, and we will try not to air this show next week.