Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Time, notebook, and pen.

At last, I found my people and the mothership is calling me home! And it revolves around something as simple as a pen and a notebook.

My whole life I have had this secret vice. I am addicted to fine paper and fountain pens. I cannot pass a stationary store. When I moved to Germany, fifteen odd years ago, the first place I went to was a small stationary store in Fischbach FRG. The first thing I bought in Germany was a wonderful Pelikan fountain pen. It is not the kind of vice that was acceptable in a generation that ingested vast quantities of drugs in the increasing need to escape our inner-demons and conflicts. I have always felt alone in this little secret vice, but no more.

There is something to the heft of real paper that calls out to me. The same is true of the scratching of a fountain pen over thick paper. I have just about every fountain pen currently made -- except a Sailor -- and all those little boxes and tins of ink cartridges. I even enjoy the feel of my hand as it moves across the texture of the paper. I love calligraphy and have always wanted to try my hand at illuminating a manuscript or even a single page. (I saw the Book of Kells as a teenager, when it first was exhibited in the United States.) The thing about writing in a Moleskine with a fountain pen is that it slows you down. It forces you to be mindful, to be aware as you write. We live in a world of constant distraction, rhetoric, and noise that tries to suck us into the maelstorm. The act of sitting down with a pen and notebook is one of defiance to modernity. (Ironic that I compose this on a computer. Trust me, the irony isn't lost to me.)

Maybe a part of this is the rebel in me, the one who must be dissatisfied. I want the fastest computer and DSL, but I also want aMoleskine notebookand a fine-nibbed fountain pen with black ink. And I don't want the world bugging me when I use them. It's all about the dichotomy between life at the speed of sound and the quiet and deliberate passion of putting pen to paper. It is one of the conflicts of my generation, how do we live between the contradiction of convenience and ever increasing speed versus any deliberate and purposeful action. I don't know that any of us can answer that.

Lastly, I think I am in the phase of my life when I begin to value slow and meaningful over more and faster. By anyone's most generous estimation I moved into middle-age this year. Time is different now, or I experience it differently. Before there was never enough time, I always needed more, life was so hurried and crammed full. I now feel more focused, less frantic in the face of deadlines, I am in this percise moment now, and I know in five years I won't even remember this project. Now I don't feel neurotic guilt for taking time to fly fish or draw in silverpoint. Sometimes I lay in the grass and study the random shapes of clouds. These things might, in one's twenties, seem an odd or even self-centered, but now they are ingrained habit. I find I understand my parents and grandparents better as I grow into their baffling years. Time will teach us when nothing else can.
PS. The image has nothing to do with this posting, I am sure you figured that out by now. I just like the picture. I took this on the drive back from Aspen last year. Every photo in this blog is mine, or I swiped from my sister. Any that are not mine are duly noted.

Previous Posts

For The Time Being ~ Annie Dillard
A book, an essay, a list: all these nouns can apply to this work. It interrogates such incongruent topics as numbers, clouds, birth defects, the life of the exiled Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, and Hassidic mysticism. And what emerges is a rich and dynamic survey that encompasses all of these topics, and at the same time is both more and less than the sum of its parts. You have to be patient and read it many times before the connections get hardwired.

The Earth is Enough ~ Harry Middleton

A coming of age tale of a boy who is witness to horror and sent home to the Ozarks, where fly fishing and a deep passion for nature become the tools of redemption.

Getting Things Done ~ David Allen

Jury is till out on this one; however, if you really love buzzwords, this book is just for you!

What can I say? We really are twins sisters.We don't take ourselves seriously (or really.. anyone else for that matter.) She is the one that got me into writing, so if you hate my writing you can visit her blog and send her a nastygram!

Kevin Sheridan
I stumbled into Kevin's site when researching mac Blog software, and I have stayed there since. He knows his software, what makes it tick, and how to accessorize. He also sits on the blog sidelines and really addresses the issues of context in computer mediated communication and culture, particularly blogging. You'll learn some of this and some of that from someone who mocks himself in the funniest of ways. Why are you still here? Get over there! (See, Kevin, I read your last post!)

I am still exploring this blog, digging into the attics and basements. But if you love macs, love being organized, and love being near the cutting edge, then this blog is for you.

If you have a fondness for good stationary, books, journals, and fountain pens, then this is the mothership and its calling you home. Its really more about slowing down and taking the time to focus, to touch, see and hear in a way that can only be described as "reflective" in nature. This is a celebration of the simple complexity that we all live in.