The Ugly Baby

[Imagine an old British train with coaches of the
compartment type (rather like seven or eight stagecoaches stuck together with
no communication between them). Once you've chosen your comparment you're
stuck there till the next stop.]

Back in the mid 'fifties a mother was travelling with her baby, who was
both phenomenally ugly and extremely noisy, so much so that after a while the
other passengers in the compartment were passing comments and gesturing among
themselves. After this had gone on for a time the woman became quite upset,
and by the time she alighted from the train it was obvious to anyone that she
was clearly distraught about something.

The Stationmaster, a kindly old gentleman, noticing her condition,
approached her and asked what was the matter. The poor woman was so upset she
couldn't reply. The Stationmaster, looking very concerned, said to her:

"I can see you are upset dear lady, so why don't you go and sit down in
the waiting room and I'll go and make you a cup of tea, and while I'm at it
I'll see if I can find a banana for your monkey!"