Monday, February 01, 2010

You go through all your old coats and jackets checking the pockets for money?

It’s like a cheap version of Deal Or No Deal.

“Is there money in this one?”

No.

“Is there money in that one?”

No.

You go through all your pockets and you don’t find a penny ... BUT THEN – you see your partner’s jacket and trousers lying on a chair ... and you think, “Aha! Result! I’m taking them down Cash Converters!!”

I had this thought and I’m not sure if it says bad things about me or bad things about a friend of mine...

I got an email from my friend George saying, "I’m doing a 14 mile walk for charity and I’d like you to sponsor me. £2 per mile would be great. More than that would be wonderful”.

So I got out the calculator and did the sums – 14 miles at £2 per mile – that’s £28.(Getting out the calculator was a joke by-the-way)

But the week before I got the email it was my birthday and George gave me a book...I looked at the price tag (because I do that, I can’t help it but when somebody gives me a present I look to see how much they value my friendship ... I’ve just realised I’ve got this far in the story and its quite obvious who’s the bad person - me) – anyway I looked at the tag and it only cost £7.99

Thing is George works in a bookshop so I’m pretty sure he’ll have bought it in his own shop and got what? 10% staff discount? 15% staff discount?

So I’m thinking George got me a £7.99 book, less discount, from the bookshop he works in – so basically he’s saying, “This is how much I value you as a friend and this is how far I’m prepared to travel to get it ...”Whereas – for these people he’s never met in another country, he’s happy to walk 14 miles!! What the fuck is that about??

About Me

Jo Caulfield is one of the most successful and instantly recognisable comedians in the UK.
Jo has been nominated as "Funniest Woman" (LAFTA Awards), "Best Female Stand-Up" (Chortle Awards) and one of "The 100 Greatest Stand-Ups" (Channel4).
The Guardian calls her “Scathing, bitchy and intelligent with masses of attitude", while The Observer advocates "Jo Caulfield is an inspiration to all would-be female comedians".
A regular guest on "Mock The Week", “Have I Got News For You” and “Never Mind The Buzzcocks”, Jo is also the star of her own critically acclaimed Radio 4 comedy show “It’s That Jo Caulfield Again”.
“Many of the points Jo Caulfield makes about the human condition would have sociologists stroking their beards in admiration, but her audiences tend to be laughing too much to notice” – The Times.
“Pick of the day. Scathing, bitchy and sharp-witted comedy” – Radio Times.