The wholeness of The Magician, with words like path, integrity, celebration, valour, laughter, equality, and some welcoming leis from Hawaii, the Disney world of being different in a society that does not encourage difference.

We had a temporary rainbow crosswalk in town that was not allowed to become permanent. There was the son of friends of my parents who was transgender and eventually took the plunge into surgery and the medications that killed him far sooner than necessary, as his body became sick, but he wanted to be himself, the woman he had always felt like.

What must it feel like to constantly hide or not feel like yourself when you look in a mirror? What must it be like to search for trusted friendship and love, to have people hurl insults at you on the street, to long for children and be vilified as a parent?

Way back in the 1970s during my Pentecostal phase, I was at a bowling alley with a fundamentalist Christian woman who, looking at a man dressed in women’s clothes standing about seeking a new friend, screwed up her face and said “That is so sad” and kept staring at him with her face locked in a grimace. What was sad was his desperation, his courage to let everyone know he was different, and then to face such comments repeatedly. I can still see him standing there, alone in the light, in his dress, high heels and inexpert make-up, so lonely, hoping someone would speak to him. Jesus would have bought him a coffee and had a chat, I’m quite sure.

I couldn’t do it, be out there. I would be a hider, afraid, avoiding. In reading online about the four crosswalks in Kelowna that are painted, some comments were left about the Bible and homosexuals, and taxpayers money funding such atrocities. I think it’s pretty and highlights the intersections well, but think to yourself, what must it be like to see this paint and feel some support in a terribly cruel world, to have someone notice you in a happy way for a change?

“Up and at ‘Em Judy” they call me. Firing up the lawnmower at 11 a.m. after the grass had dried, to do another 90 x 100 foot swatch.

I found my energy flagging, so started shouting out Louise Hay-ish affirmations about blood and lymph and oxygen and being strong and having stamina and strength and flexible tendons, muscles and ligaments. Crazy woman in an old straw hat tied on with a shoelace, shouting things about blood and muscles. What will the neighbours say? “There she goes again!” maybe?

Eventually I had to stop, but I got somewhere at least and moved some oxygen around the body. Ain’t so bad Rock.

WIND – 3 ISOLATION (3 of Swords)

Oooh he’s mad ‘cause I was making so much noise mowing the lawn that he couldn’t grab and eat baby grackles from the nest.

Too bad crow baby, I’m on the move in the big savanna of my backyard grass. You can be Black Monday and fly away, leaving me perfectly happy to be isolated in the beach in your place.

Another scan where I can’t get the colours right even in Photoshop. It’s better in person.

XXI THE WORLD – GAIA

I was so upset yesterday as I think a hawk or a neighbour’s cat got one of the baby robins who had just left the nest. Another bird was killed last week. It makes me feel my garden is not a sanctuary. I did however see the magical Indigo Bunting in the Fragrant Snowball outside the kitchen.

Gaia might tell me otherwise and speak or growth and cycles and death and abundance for all. The soul of the Earth is sustaining for all, even predators. The snake around her is the Aboriginal Rainbow Serpent, which I have never heard of. It is an Australian aboriginal myth and deals with a creator deity, so fits in with Gaia.

Union with all life, we are all kin in the limelight, even when our precious robin babies are killed.

Here it is again, the 2 of Wands in a guise from the Mythical Goddess Tarot. I am not too keen on feminine-based decks as I feel it unrealistic in a world of two genders, but I like the art in this deck and the book isn’t bad either.

What am I missing about this card that it keeps coming up? Perhaps simply that the tide is turning and life will favour me this year?

I love this line in the book:

“She is unwavering faith and self-discipline, unmoved by the illusions of the world around her.”

Light is genuine power, the light within your core. Self-discipline is interesting, because you are not handed life in a flowery bed of ease, but you must choose the life you want and discipline yourself to achieve it. You hold the secret inside you for growth and opportunity.

This is The Emperor in conventional tarot. The author highlights a lot of sexual energy with this card but also her equality; she is answerable to no one. Her talons get a grip in her wild way and then she lets loose the strength of her desire and an intense focus on her goals.

This is from the Mythical Goddess Tarot which effectively strips away esoterica from tarot and has a totally feminine bent. I usually stay away from that sort of imbalance of gender but the artwork in this was just too interesting.

This lady would be the King of Swords conventionally (but goddess forbid we should have a man sully the deck!) Sorry, I just don’t buy the “all men are evil” vibe that some women wear like armour. Men provide a needed and welcome balance as do women. Balance of gender is a necessity to humans and society.

Like yesterday’s card, she is holding an egg—I got a kick out of that. I actually dislike egg-shaped things. Gemstones are often carved in the shape of an egg, and I can hardly bring myself to look at them; I prefer a round shape myself.

There is something both penetrating and kind about her eyes, and the third eye in the eagle headdress makes them even spookier. She is Spirit-embodied with her eagle-eye sight. I like the idea with this card of seeing further, opening the mind to new things.

She comes to you with gifts of insight now needed to ascend above your present circumstances into new realities and perspectives; of possibilities never before imagined.

I went for a bike ride this morning and then did some raking of lawn cuttings. I’m hobbled but the body is still operational. I bought an inexpensive pattern for a handbag that has a nice spot on the front flap for embroidery. I’m thinking silk ribbon like the tarot bags I used to sew but I want to do one in redwork too. Ah, it’s going to be great, more plans for summer sewing.

Since my sewing machine is needing repairs I’ve scrounged up The Big J, a quilt block I’m doing in redwork to work on with a lovely initial from a Dover clip art collection that I have simplified. I did some yesterday and a stint today, so will chip away at it until it’s done. I like it because it has a Renaissance look to it. I might do a similar initial with a different design on this new purse flap. I love redwork because it reminds of my favourite fabric pattern – toile!

Oh, let’s have a visual. . . .

IX ORACLE – YEMAYA

From the Mythical Goddess Tarot, this is the Caribbean goddess of intuition and prophecy, Yemaya.

She is lady bountiful isn’t she? Such luscious, nourishing breasts, and I bet she loves toile. In the Land of The Big J, she is the Hermit and advises some quiet, contemplative design time before you do your next embroidery. Go within for true spiritual nourishment.