On tonight's Conan, Parks and Recreation's Nick Offerman delighted audiences with much more than his clean-shaven face.

The manliest of men regaled us with tales of flip-flop sandals, the degrees of douche hair, "car owner boners," and a tour de sausages in Europe. He explains the nude spread he and his wife Megan Mullally shot for New York Magazine and had this to say about the calling AAA with your car troubles: "That's your choice, but that's a weak choice."