Back on the topic of self discovery. I've been experimenting lately and trying to find my niche within the art world which is ever evolving. I was set on doing oil paintings of people's pets at one point. Then I experimented with cityscapes and enjoyed doing those. And then my husband got me into nerdy paintings and drawings of video game characters.

I've been feeling this pressure to carve out a space in this vast vast world of art. When you think of the greats, you think of their masterpieces and the movements that they helped promote. Monet had his Impressionism and his lily pads at Giverny. Hopper had his cityscapes and landscapes. I ask myself everyday, what is my thing?

My drawing of Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service.

My constant frustrations and eagerness to push myself further and faster are my double edged swords. It drives me and motivates me but it also hinders me. At the moment I'm really into using art markers and pens. I can quickly sketch out something and then color it in with my Copics. I feel like it gives me the instant gratification that I can not necessarily get from oils.

Evolving as an artist is an uncomfortable feeling. It is so natural to be complacent but trying something so different and foreign can be a great thing. I noticed how my skills had improved when I made myself paint my first cityscape. It opened up a whole new focus for me and enhanced my views on perspectives.

My latest rendition of a Sailor Moon character.

I've always loved anime and cartoons. I've envied anybody who can easily draw in that style and create their own characters. Ever since I can remember, I would try to draw Sailor Moon and fall flat on my face. I would try to mimic the ways that manga artists would draw their characters but it felt so foreign to me with the huge eyes and pupils and weirdly shaped heads. It still is a struggle today but I ended up improving after many tries.

From the training I do have, it has been more of a traditional one. I would focus on photo realism and be disappointed that my drawings and paintings weren't exactly what I saw before me. I feel like my art style leans between realism and cartoonish, I'm still figuring out a name for that. I have to remind myself to this very day that my style is what makes my art special. As mentioned in my bio, I aim to make my paintings or drawings to look real and surreal at the same time. My problem was that I didn't see the beauty of that but now I do.

My husband, our dog and me in the style of Pixar's Up.

The masters weren't great in the beginning of their careers and had to explore their niches as well. It's not like Monet got up and created his iconic paintings right away. I'm still in the stages of finding what I identify with that makes me who I am. I'm not even sure if I will ever have a place in the art world and inspire a movement. But for the moment, I'm taking a step at a time and learning new things.