Wives Combat PTSD support site

You are among friends. If you ever feel so alone in the struggles of dealing with this disorder, as I have...you are not. There are many of us who love a veteran with Combat PTSD and understand how hard it can often be. However much our hearts may break for the horrific traumas our loved ones have lived through....we are important too and we hope you will find this a safe comfortable place of understanding friendship and support.

http://groups.msn.com/AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSDtoo/welcome.msnw The Aftermath of War We found a wounded veteran, And held him in our hearts. We've seen
the bravest soldier, Break down and fall apart. Yet we love our heroes, Like no other has before. We're the wives of combat veterans, In the Aftermath of
War. We had to learn the hard way, When coping with PTSD, That their war is never over, And freedom is never free. We bandage up their broken hearts, The best
we can each day. We see the scars upon their souls, That never go away. Knowing we can't heal the wounds, That cut their very core. We're just trudging
through the trenches, In the Aftermath of War. We've seen them lose their faith in God, And in the human race, As they try to hide the anguish, That's
still written on their face. We've witnessed all the symptoms, That they're not willing to admit. We've dodged the screaming bullets, And been
crawling in the #@@!. We've felt the anger, guilt and blame, Of these men that we adore. As we stumble on the battlefield, In the Aftermath of War. Each
day we share the horrors, Of a pain they can't forget, And we feel we lived through combat, Because we love a vet. But we are all survivors, And we're
learning how to cope. Hanging on with all our might, Just holding onto hope. And our soldier's heart will cry out, That they couldn't love us more.
Because we're sitting in their foxhole, In the Aftermath of War. By Chris Woolnough In the aftermath of war.... They were the best of times, they were the
worst of times.That classic phrase is our reality of living in the shadows of combat ptsd. My husband served with the First Air Calvary during the height of
the Vietnam conflict in 1967-1968. For 23 years he's been my lover and my best friend. He's been my rock, my protector, and my survivor.For many, many
years, the suffering we endured didn't even have a name. His "normal" reactions were hard to understand. For far too long, I was walking
blindfolded in the dark. I didn't understand the fight or flight response. Or know that soldiers were trained by the military to always choose to fight. I
didn't understand that his survivor skills kept him alive in combat or why he still clung to them to today. For 23 years, I didn't understand his rage.
Deep down, even if I fought it or denied it, part of me believed it was my fault. Today I know that trauma pisses people off. I know that I didn't cause
it, I can't cure it, and I can't control it. The greatest lesson I learned recently is "Behind the face of anger lies either pain or fear." I
didn't understand that FEAR was the trigger that controlled him. Today I try to see the wounded soldier that stands in front of me. Today I try to
recognize and acknowledge his pain and his fear. During the worst of times, I was walking on eggshells. Sometimes my loving husband seemed like a walking time
bomb waiting to explode. I didn't understand how that fear transported him back to a different time zone. That all his senses told him he was back in
Vietnam. I didn't understand that fear made him relive the war all over again in our home. I didn't understand his fear of losing control, of himself,
or the world around him. Control was something he lost in the war. It hasn't always been easy to watch him live in fear of things he can't control. I
didn't understand the fear of loss, the fear of abandonment, the fear of isolation, or the fear of rejection that contributed to his symptoms of ptsd. I
didn't understand why he couldn't trust. Even me, especially me. Even after I learned that everything he ever trusted in life was lost to him in the
war. Including the ability to ever fully trust again. To ever feel secure again. That included feeling secure in my love. I know now that trigger of fear is
chasing him like a bullet. It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all is not a concept a traumatized war veteran can grasp. There
are two rules to war: Rule #1. People die. Rule #2. You can't change rule #1. People die. Death is permeant. Even the threat of the death of love itself
triggers that fear and the post traumatic response. I know now, in the worst or times, when I didn't understand, I wasn't very trustworthy. I know now
why he couldn't feel secure in my love. I didn't understand that seeing me or the children either sick or crying reminded him of his buddies wounded on
a battlefield. At times I believed that we weren't allowed to be sick or in pain. I didn't realize that feelings of helplessness and horror ,which
traumatized him to begin with , still caused a war within himself today. I didn't understand the don't talk, don't think, don't feel rule that
seemed to apply in our household. I didn't understand that he was protecting himself from the pain and fear in the aftermath of war. I didn't
understand the guilt he endured when he felt like the cause of all our suffering. Because there was a lot of blame in our household, flying in all directions.
More importantly, I didn't understand that I was guilty of enforcing those rules as well. That by not understanding, and denying his emotions, I was
preventing him from healing. Today I can let him have those emotions, and know we will survive. There was a time when even asking a simple question could push
his buttons. The kids asking "Can I go to the Mall?", took on a life of it's own. FEAR is the initial reaction that sets off his fight or flight
response. Today I know that his fears are reality based. A reality I didn't share with him. What if we leave the house and don't come back home alive
like his buddies in the war? I'm sorry I didn't accept or understand his reality. I'm sorry I didn't always respect his pain and fear. Today I
know that traumatized people develop very sensitive contol/manipulation detectors because the trauma defined their lives. Today I realize that we are CO
survivors of trauma. Our survivor skills have bound us together, and torn us apart. Today I know that I have developed unhealthy survivor skills myself as I
tried to control his ptsd. There's a lot of pain and fear in the aftermath of war. I didn't realize that pain and fear were the triggers that
controlled me too.I didn't realize that behind my angry face lies pain and fear as well. And by trying to control his symptoms, in reality, I was trying to
protect myself from the pain and fear post traumatic caused. Today I understand feelings of helplessness. It doesn't scare me anymore. Today I can relate
to feelings of guilt, for the secondary trauma he suffered when I didn't understand. Like my brave soldier, I can see the good that has come from facing
ptsd. I am a better person because of the struggles we've shared. Today I know that love and compassion heal. Together, we are on that road to recovery. We
are learning to face our fears. We are learning to live, and to laugh again. Sometimes, we can laugh in the face of our fears. Progress. There is hope and
happiness in the aftermath of war. Though there is fear of loss behind it, my soldier loves with a passion most "normal" folks will never know. Life
and death were given new meaning in the war. He holds tight to those survivor skills. They helped him survive. They kept him alive. After all these years,
he's finally proud of his service to our country. He accepts his ptsd as a part of his life altering experience. Today, he is able to see the good that has
come from it. Today we have a healthy balance in our lives, of the good memories, and the bad. We are learning to let go of the pain and fear of the past.
Today there are more good days than bad. I too am learning to accept his ptsd, and trying to live the Serenity prayer.There are no more days of walking
blindfolded in the dark.Today, I am enlightened. Acceptance, along with love and compassion, can heal the scars of war. We are both survivors, and there's
nothing our love can't withstand. Even fear won't stand in our way. Our future is secure. I know with all certainty that I will love him through the
best of times, and through the worst of times. We're on the right path now and we're looking forward to the journey. There is hope for recovery in the
aftermath of war. Thank you my love, for sharing your life with me. Thank you for the love and compassion you've given to this lost soul. Thank you for
helping me heal. I love you, with a passion only you could understand. We've already survived the worst of times. The best is yet to come! A special thank
you to Patience and Bob Mason. The pioneers in "Recovering from the War" that blazed the trail of healing. I love you both! Chris Woolnough

Thank you for the welcome! This is a new article I wrote to share. Happy healing my new friends.

PTSD in a nut shell
The most important thing anyone needs to know about ptsd is that it's a NORMAL reaction to trauma. NORMAL, remember that! And yet, some genius
categorized ptsd as a MENTAL disorder/illness? Is it any wonder that trauma survivors aren't proudly jumping and up and down in the streets screaming
"I'm NORMAL, I'm NORMAL?" The stigma of ptsd being a mental disorder not only does a lot of harm to survivors, it's also incorrect
information. Completely false, remember that too. Trauma and ptsd is an epidemic in our society. PTSD is often misdiagnosed, and mistreated. PTSD is so
misunderstood, millions of people go their entire lifetime, and don't even know they have it.
Years ago, they believed soldiers heart/shell shock, railway spine,etc., was a physical injury. Then Freud, and others like him, convinced people it was a
psychological injury. I think they were right the first time.
Most of the literature you will find on the subject is written by people in the "mental health profession" who have garnered their understanding of
PTSD from a book. The best form of learning is through real, life, experience.
Scientists are still wasting a lot of time and money trying to discover what causes PTSD, and how to prevent it. I can save a lot of time and money by
telling you, trauma causes PTSD. It's impossible to prevent a NORMAL reaction to trauma, unless of course the trauma was prevented from occurring in the
first place.
The DVSM 3 R reads: The person has experienced an event that is outside the range of usual human experience and that would be markedly distressing to
anyone, serious threat to ones life or physical integrity, serious threat or harm to ones children, spouse, or other close relatives and friends, sudden
destruction of ones home or community, or seeing another person who has recently been, or is being seriously injured or killed as the result of an accident or
physical violence"
The essential feature of this disorder is the development of characteristic symptoms following a psychologically distressing event that is outside the range of
unusual human experience. The stressor producing this syndrome would be markedly stressing to almost anyone, and is usually experienced with intense fear,
terror and helplessness. The characteristic symptoms involve reexperiencing the traumatic event, avoidance of stimuli associated with the event or numbing of
general responsiveness, and increased arousal. The diagnosis is not made in the disturbance lasts less than one month. The most common traumata involve either
a serious threat to one's life or physical integrity; a serious threat or harm to one's children, spouse, or other close relatives and friends; sudden
destruction of one's home or community; or seeing another person who has been, or is being, seriously injured or killed as the result of physical violence.
In some cases the trauma may be learning about a serious threat or harm to a close friend or relative, e. g., that one's child has been kidnapped,
tortured, or killed. The trauma may be experienced alone (e. g., rape or assault) or in the company of groups of people (e. g., military combat). Stressor
producing the disorder include natural disasters (e. g., floods, earthquakes) accidental disasters (e. g., car accidents with serious physical injury, airplane
crashes, large fires, collapse of physical structures), or deliberately caused disasters (e. g. bombing, torture, death camps). Sometimes there is a
concomitant physical component of the trauma, which may even involve direct damage to the central nervous system (e.g., malnutrition, head injury). The
disorder is apparently more severe and longer lasting when the stressor is of human design. The specific stressor and its severity should be recorded on Axis
IV (p. 18).
http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/ptsd/
That means not only is war a traumatic stressor, but so is deployment for the loved ones left behind. Coping with chronic illness, like PTSD, or even cancer
or Alzheimer's disease, is another traumatic stressor. Chronic illness threatens the physical integrity of those we love. Fighting the VA system is also
traumatic, as is losing your home, or family after sustaining an injury in the war. It's important to know how to identify a trauma, and to tally up the
factors that lead to the development of PTSD. More often than not, ptsd is misdiagnosed as BI polar disorder or schizophrenia. More often than not, the mental
health professionals fails to assess for trauma.
This excerpt will explain the risk and resiliency factors that play a pivotal role in the development of PTSD
Quoted from Recovering from the war, by Patience Mason. (the additions in parenthesis are mine)
"Many people develop some of the characteristics of PTSD without ever having the diagnosable disorder: Traumatic events have serious, long term effects on
all people who survive them. They range from moderate to severe, depending on a number of factors: the actual traumatic incidents, the severity and duration of
the stress factors, how the person sees the events in relation to him/herself, the ability of the survivor to find someone to talk to about the events, the
reaction of other people to what the survivor tells them, and luck. When the actual traumatic incident involved mutilation and death,(invalidation is likened
to soul murder) when they lasted for a years tour, when the person feels angry, or used, or betrayed or helpless or as though he's (she's) an animal,
when he/she can't find anyone to talk to about what happened, when she/he's ridiculed, insulted, or ignored by society, and when his/her luck- in
finding or holding on a job, another person to love, a safe place in society fails, he/she may develop a cluster of symptoms that we now call PTSD. It is a
normal reaction. Normal! Remember that. A veteran (or his wife, and or children) may also develop only a few of these symptoms, never have official PTSD, and
yet be hard to live with."
In addition to partial Vs full blown PTSD, it also comes in different forms like mild, moderate, or severe. Since PTSD is a stress disorder, ANY stress, even
good stress, contributes to the symptoms. Understanding PTSD is as basic as understanding biology. Everyone has a fight or flight response, and it comes out in
us, or we die. This normal fight or flight response ensures our survival.
Everyone also has an optimal stress level. When that optimal level is overwhelmed by either chronic long term stress, or a single traumatic stressor, a real,
physical injury to the autonomic nervous system occurs.
optimum arousal zone of the Modulation Model
http://www.sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/articles.html
This is where I believe ptsd occurs, when a person is past that point of no return. This is where the risk and resiliency factors of ptsd come into play as
well. It's what I call "adding insult to injury", until the system of self preservation is so overwhelmed, a permanent injury to the autonomic
nervous systems fight or flight response occurs.
Research shows that people with PTSD have a "broken" response to fear. Some researches and "mental health professionals" (I use that term
loosely, LOL) are now saying that autonomic nervous system arousal is at the core of PTSD. It is my contention that autonomic nervous system arousal IS PTSD,
in a nut shell.
If you take another look at the risk and resiliency factors of PTSD, feeling angry, used, and/or betrayed, helpless, like an animal in a cage, etc., they
clearly contribute to autonomic nervous system arousal as well.
Try feeling angry or used, or betrayed, without your heart rate accelerating, without the fight or flight response being activated.
The risk and resiliency factors contribute to ANS arousal, because it's not safe in that world. When soldiers are in the heat of combat, the ANS is
activated, and the symptoms they experience are not mental ones. Physically, our bodies prepare to fight, or flee. Everyone has a breaking point, and it's
different for everyone.
The number one predictor of recovery from trauma is an intact, social support system. Social support during a time of crisis is also a powerful buffer
against the development of ptsd. (social support, hopefully, has a calming affect on the autonomic nervous system, which can prevent the fight or flight system
from being so overwhelmed, a stress injury occurs). Not having anyone to talk to about the trauma, or not having anyone to understand contributes to Autonomic
nervous system arousal as well. (specifically, the sympathetic nervous system is injured by trauma. The parasympathetic nervous system controls the relaxation
response)
Secondary wounding experiences occur when other people don't understand the normal affects of trauma, when they attempt to deny, minimize, or discount the
survivors suffering. Secondary wounding experiences can feel MORE painful than the original trauma, especially if they stem from human neglect or cruelty.
So, we now understand that PTSD is a NORMAL reaction to overwhelming stress/trauma. And that PTSD is an actual physical injury to the autonomic nervous
systems fight or flight response. People with PTSD will be looking for danger from now on, whether other people think it's reasonable or not. PTSD is NOT a
MENTAL disorder!
The hallmark symptom of PTSD is the ability to go from fine, to a killing rage, in the blink of an eye. Under stress, FIGHT, or Flight. (or freeze, our
brains choose which system of survival to use for us, based on pervious life experience. Soldiers were trained by the military to always choose to fight.) An
associated symptom of PTSD is the inability to regulate emotions. Understanding what happens to the human body under stress will give you a good explanation
for the symptoms of PTSD. Under stress, the heart rate accelerates, glucose and other stress hormones are pumped into the blood stream to give us the energy to
fight or flee, muscles get rigid and tight, concentration is fixed on survival, etc. The symptoms of ptsd are caused by the constant misfiring of the
sympathetic nervous systems fight or flight response. (also an explanation for the cluster of stress related illness that accompanies trauma, heart
dis-ease/high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol levels.) PTSD is simply, a NEURO- BIOLOGICAL response to fear/threat/stress. Emotional dis-STRESS
triggers the fight or flight response in people with ptsd.
As well as any other stress, financial stress, marital stress, physical stress as in chronic illness, etc. Trauma is remembered with the painful emotions
attached. Triggers come with the same, explosive, emotional charge as the original trauma. (it's more difficult to recover from trauma if it stems from
human design, from human neglect, or creulty. (war is of human design)
The threat that triggers the sympathetic nervous systems fight or flight response can be either real, or perceived. People with ptsd react to every day
stressors AS IF they were life or death emergancies. The body remembers the trauma.

THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE As such, the fight or flight response not only warns us of real external danger but also of the mere perception of danger. This
understanding gives us two ...
www.osbkarate.com/fight_or_flight_response.htm

THE BIOLOGICAL RESPONSE TO PSYCHIC TRAUMA: MECHANISMS AND TREATMENT OF INTRUSION AND NUMBING
BESSEL A. VAN DER KOLK and JOSE SAPORTA
Harvard Medical School
(Received 23 December 1991)
The recognition that trauma is qualitatively different from stress and results in lasting biological emergency responses following traumatic experiences may
account for the biphasic trauma response, and the accompanying memory disturbances. The advances in our understanding of the underlying biology of this
"physioneurosis". In addition to classically conditioned physiological reactions, changes now have been demonstrated in startle response in people
with post-traumatic stress disorder and in central nervous system catecholamine, serotonin, and endogenous opioid systems. This paper reviews the research data
which have demonstrated changes in these systems and explores how these bio-logical changes may be related to the characteristic hyper-reactivity, loss of
neuromodulation, numbing of responsiveness, dissociative states, and memory disturbances seen in PTSD. There is growing evidence that trauma has different
biological effects at different stages of primate human, development.
"The apparent similarities between some aspects of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy (TLE), PTSD and some long term sequelae of childhood trauma continues to
challenge us to further explore the effects of trauma on the limbic system. During this past decade, the relationships between environmental trauma and the
organization and function of the limbic system are slowly beginning to be understood, in part because of the work on non-human primates, which has conclusively
shown that disruption of early attachment directly affects the maturation of the limbic system (Kling & Steklis, 1976). The limbic system also is the
primary area of the CNS where memories are processed, and the most likely place to find an explanation for the memory disturbances which follow
trauma."

http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/vanderkolk2/
PTSD also seems to follow a similar course as the five stages of grief. The first stage being denial. What I went through wasn't that bad, I wasn't
affected. Then the bargaining stage, if something else in my life would only get better, I wouldn't have these problems, which is BS.
( what you survived would be markedly distressing to anyone. You are experiencing normal reactions to stress/trauma) Then comes the angry stage of grief, some
people get stuck in this stage, which contributes to the autonomic nervous system arousal of PTSD. Depression, which is a normal consequence of trauma as well.
Finally, the acceptance stage sets in. These stages are recycled, over and over again during further stress/trauma as well.
The symptoms of ptsd all serve a valuable purpose in the healing process. When a person sustains a real physical injury, numbness sets in as a means of
surviving that real physical pain. It's normal for people with ptsd to go numb to survive an emotional injury. This numbness, protects a survivor from the
things they are not yet able to face.
There are more physical injuries caused by trauma. Like depleted cortisol levels. Trauma survivors have such high levels of cortisol during and immediately
after the trauma, the system gets physically injured. Then with low levels of circulating cortisol, it's harder for trauma survivors to calm down once they
get upset. Depleted cortisol levels are a physical injury from trauma, not a mental one. Trauma survivors also sustain an injury to the opiate system. When a
person sustains a physical injury, opiate receptors are activated, and the person goes numb, just to survive. The same thing happens during/after a
psychic/emotional injury. Trauma survivors blood streams are similar to drug addicts, they have high levels of opiates circulating in their system. Just like
cortisol levels, after a while, these opiate receptors are burnt out, another physical injury from trauma.
It's also normal to think about, and to remember bad things that happen to us. This alone is not the cause or the source of PTSD. Thinking about a trauma
doesn't cause PTSD. If that were the case, every American, every human being on earth for that matter, would be suffering from PTSD.
People with ptsd tend to feel weird, defective, or crazy because they can't stop thinking about/reliving the trauma. Traumatic things happen so fast, they
don't have enough time to be encoded into narrative memory, so they present themselves as symptoms of a dis-ease.
Lets take a look at the symptoms of ptsd.The symptoms of ptsd are far-reaching, intrusive, terrifying and almost impossible for non-sufferer to comprehend:
*difficulty falling or staying asleep, (a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS/autonomic nervous system arousal?)
*irritability and angry outbursts, (a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS arousal?)
*difficulty concentrating, (a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS arousal?)
*recurring nightmares, (a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS arousal?)
*hallucinations and flashbacks 'reliving the experience' in waking hours,(a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS arousal?)
*exaggerated startle response (jumping and hitting out at the slightest thing),
(a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS arousal)?
*Hyper-vigilance (checking two or three times that things are as they appear to be, not trusting what you see), (a psychological reaction, or evidence of ANS
arousal)? *Physiological reaction to a reminder of the trauma (at the sound of a car backfiring, hitting the floor like a reflex).
The author made a mistake here. This is actually an example of an exaggerated startle response, not a psychological reminder of the trauma. (These last set of
symptoms are examples of survivor guilt, and depression, which is a normal part of PTSD.) *Suffers often do not expect to live long lives, or to have
successful careers or marriages, they lose interest in things that they previously enjoyed, and make massive efforts to avoid anything that arouses memories of
the traumatic circumstances.
In my experience, there is no avoiding traumatic memories, and the literature often fails to provide evidence of how a survivor with PTSD avoids memories of
the traumatic experience. They do however site examples of avoiding people and places that remind victims of the trauma. In my experience, the ANS arousal, and
symptoms of (social) anxiety that are a NORMAL part of ptsd, is the explanation for the avoidance.
Let me explain something. When a person with an autonomic nervous system stress injury is under stress, it's NORMAL to remember the last time you were in
THAT much danger, so you know how to react to survive it.
Bessel Van Der Kolk, one of the original doctors who wrote the definition of PTSD explains the memory retrieval well in this article about sensimotor therapy:
"Hyperarousal involves "excessive sympathetic branch activity [which] can lead to increased energy-consuming processes, manifested as increases in
heart rate and respiration and as a "pounding" sensation in the head" (Siegel, 1999, p. 254). Over the long term, such hyperarousal may disrupt
cognitive and affective processing as the individual becomes overwhelmed and disorganized by the accelerated pace and amplitude of thoughts and emotions, which
may be accompanied by intrusive memories. As Van der Kolk, Van der Hart, et al. (1996) state, "This hyperarousal creates a vicious cycle: state-dependent
memory retrieval causes increased access to traumatic memories and involuntary intrusions of the trauma, which lead in turn to even more arousal" (Van der
Kolk, Van der Hart, et al., 1996, p. 305). Such state-dependent memories may increase clients' tendency to "interpret current stimuli as reminders of
the trauma" (p. 305), perpetuating the pattern of hyperarousal. Van der Kolk points out that high arousal is easily triggered in traumatized persons,
causing them to " ... be unable to trust their bodily sensations to warn them against impending threat, and cease to alert them to take appropriate
action" (p. 421), thereby disrupting effective defensive responses.
read the rest at
http://www.sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/articles.html

In my experience, talking about the traumatic experience is merely therapeutic. It helps to find a sense of meaning and purpose to the trauma. Please be
aware, talking about, or even reading about trauma, can be a trigger, a reminder of the original trauma, which comes with the same explosive, emotional charge.
Some things are so traumatic, they don't make sense to the human brain. Rationalizing the trauma will not heal an autonomic nervous system dis-order. The
autonomic nervous system does not listen to reason or logic. The symptoms of post traumatic stress dis-order are actually very sensible, and orderly. Even
though they can also make your life feel as if it's out of order. The symptoms of PTSD serve a sensible and orderly purpose in the healing process.
It's important for trauma survivors to listen to those symptoms and to do the footwork to discover what they are trying to tell them. Re experiencing the
trauma for example, is the most uncomfortable symptom of ptsd, it's also the symptom that gets the most people into treatment. Re living, or re
experiencing is how we integrate the trauma into our lives. By creating a narrative memory of the trauma, the raw emotions that are attached to the memory
usually fade.
Having ptsd is like having a big, open, gaping wound. It's normal for survivors to get defensive of those wounds. Sometimes it feels like other people are
poking a finger into that wound as well. PTSD is also a dis-order of healing. PTSD is generally worse in the beginning, or shortly after the trauma. Some
wounds heal by themselves in time.
Research also reveals that neurological impairment is a risk factor for PTSD. Shaking and trembling is the bodies attempt to heal itself. It's my belief
that the neurological impairment is partially responsible for the development of PTSD. Understanding PTSD is as simple and basic as understanding the
neurobiological response to fear:
from memory, trauma, and healing:
In response to threat and injury, animals, including humans, execute biologically based, non-conscious action patterns that prepare them to meet the threat and
defend themselves. The very structure of trauma, including activation, dissociation, and freezing are based on the evolution of reptilian, mammalian and
primate predator/prey survival behaviors. When threatened or injured, organisms draw from a ''library'' of possible motoric responses supported
by adjustments in the autonomic and visceral nervous systems. In response to threat and injury we orient, dodge, duck, stiffen, brace, retract, fight, flee,
freeze, collapse, etc. All of these coordinated responses are somatically based-they are things that the body does to protect and defend itself. It is when
these orienting and defending responses are overwhelmed that we see trauma.
The bodies of traumatized people portray ''snapshots'' of their unsuccessful attempts to defend themselves in the face of threat and injury. It
is because they have been overwhelmed that the execution of their normally continuous responses to threat have become truncated. Trauma is fundamentally a
highly activated incomplete biological response to threat, frozen in time. For example, when our full neuromuscular and metabolic machinery prepares us to
fight or to flee, muscles throughout the entire body are tensed in specific patterns of high energy readiness. When we are unable to complete the appropriate
actions and discharge the tremendous energy generated by our survival preparations, this energy becomes fixated into specific patterns of neuromuscular
readiness. Afferent feedback to the brain stem generated from these incomplete neuromuscular/autonomic responses maintains a state of acute and then chronic
arousal and dysfunction in the central nervous system. Traumatized people are not suffering from a disease in the normal sense of the word. They have become
fixated in an aroused state. It is difficult (if not impossible) to function normally under these circumstances.
Residual incomplete responses (the ''snapshots'' of unsuccessful attempts at defense) are the basis of (implicit) traumatic memory. Trauma is
not ''remembered'' in an explicit, conscious form. It is coded as implicit procedures based on biological survival reactions. These incomplete
procedures seek completion and integration, not (explicit) remembering. The compulsion that so many trauma survivors have to ''remember'' is
often a misinterpretation of the profound urge to complete the highly charged survival responses that were aborted or truncated at the time they were
overwhelmed. This is a significant factor in the genesis of spurious memory.
http://www.coping-with-epilepsy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=43
Neurogenic Tremors for the Alleviation of PTSD Symptoms Among Military Personnel
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has been clearly identified as one of the biggest problems facing active duty military returning from Operation Enduring
Freedom (OEF) and Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) (Gupta, 2004). Even the estimated reports that one out of every eight soldiers who fought in Iraq suffers from
PTSD symptoms may be conservative (Hoge et al., 2004). Additionally, according to Friedmans study (2004) there is substantial reason for concern that the
reported prevalence of PTSD among returning soldiers will increase in the coming years.

Friedmans study also presents the alarming insight that many soldiers refuse to seek help due to the perception of PTSD. Many fear that admitting to
experiencing symptoms of PTSD could harm their careers, cause them to have difficulties with their peers or superiors, or be a stigmatizing admission of an
inherent weakness of character. PTSD among the military is often seen as a failure, a weakness, an embarrassment, and evidence of an innate deficiency of the
right stuff (Gupta, 2004). A perfect example of this can be found in a personal story of a soldier from the front line. He arrives on the scene right after an
ambush and recalls an even more horrific sight than the battle itself.
read the rest at
http://www.traumaprevention.com/index.php?nid=article&article_id=86
If you or a loved one has ever had to battle the VA system for benefits, or proper medical care, you will understand what it's like to go
"berserk" in the aftermath of war. Have you ever been in a position where you were literally fighting for your life, or the life of a loved one
suffering from ptsd in the aftermath of war? Ever been deprived of your rights, medical attention, benefits you deserve, etc.? The pure rage against the faulty
system that ignores and invalidates suffering in the aftermath of war, contributes to autonomic nervous system arousal. The betrayal of what's right causes
a post traumatic injury. People with ptsd wind up with a hypersensitivity for justice, because what happened to them was unjust. " Creating and
maintaining a worldwide society in which exploitation, oppression, and injustice are commonplace is a form of violence. Ignoring suffering is as much a form of
violence as inducing it."
When the people in charge ignore your suffering, this means war!
CPTSD is often thought of as a modern affliction, but this is far from true. As far back as 3,000 years ago, Homer was writing about the effects of battle
trauma in The Iliad. The first stages of the onset is referred to as going 'berserk' and whilst this has been adopted into the general language, it is
a Norse word, which is believed to refer to going into battle 'bare shirt' (or without armor). All the Berserker feels he needs is a weapon, and
anything else gets in the way. Homer refers to a berserk state: "In his ecstasy of power, he is mad for battle… pure frenzy fills him" Iliad
9:288ff In traumatized battle veterans, there seems to be a pattern of specific conditions that seem to trigger the berserk state that precedes the onset of
CPTSD. The National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study has identified four of these conditions, which contribute to CPTSD. These are exposure to combat,
exposure to abusive violence, deprivation and loss of meaning and control. The berserk state seems to have a survival basis - when facing certain death, a
soldier clearly has nothing to lose and everything to gain by 'losing it' and turning on the enemy in a wild frenzy. That rush of adrenaline can,
sometimes, save your life",
read the rest at
"Already Dead" A study of Combat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
http://groups.msn.com/AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSDtoo/ptsdandthefam.msnw?action=get_message&mview=0&ID_Message=8980&LastModified=4675493896944892512
So, we now understand that autonomic nervous system arousal is the basis of ptsd. PTSD is a very real, physical injury to the autonomic nervous systems fight
or flight response. PTSD is an anxiety dis-order. It's a normal reaction to trauma, NORMAL. PTSD is NOT evidence of a MENTAL Illness.PTSD does not mean you
are weak, defective, or crazy. Having PTSD after a trauma means you are perfectly NORMAL, and sane. You didn't deserve that happened to you. You do deserve
to recover.
Some of the things that help
Neurofeedback, biofeedback, visual imagery, guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises, EMDR therapy, cognitive behavioral
therapy, sensimotor therapy, etc.
It's also normal to be sad during the grieving process. Being sad is different from clinical depression which lasts for at least two weeks straight.
Natural things that help depression are sunlight and exercise, maintaining meaningful relationships, the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns has easy
and effective tips for overcoming depression naturally. The book "The relaxation response" is a must read too.
For more healing resources, please pay us a visit in "The Aftermath of War, coping with ptsd too."
AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSDtoo@groups.msn.com
Ps, the symptoms of ptsd and a Traumatic brain injury are very similar. If you've sustained a TBI, traditional treatment for ptsd won't work. Find
out more by doing your homework in the aftermath of war.
Thank you for your service and sacrifices, thank you for surviving, and,
Welcome home!

A word of caution about medication for ptsd
"You can't heal what you can't feel."

There is no one drug that will treat or cure the symptoms of ptsd. Stress affects every bodily system. It's pretty common practice for the people in the
mental health profession to prescribe what I call the anti-everythings. Anti- psychotics, antidepressants, and anti anxiety drugs, even anti nightmare pills.
(research shows that medicating the nightmares prevents healing and resolution of the trauma)
Remember, ptsd is an anxiety disorder that causes autonomic nervous system arousal. Many anti depressants cause the same symptoms of anxiety we are trying to
eliminate, making the symptoms of ptsd worse. If you take someone in a ptsd crisis, and give them drugs that contribute to the symptoms of ptsd, it's a
recipe for suicide in my opinion.
Some numb skull psychiatrists are in the habit of prescribing anti-psychotics for a NORMAL reaction to trauma. Including Robert Rosenheck, a Yale educated
psychiatrist.
The Yale-led study is funded by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
Yale School of Medicine will direct a $6.9 million nationwide study into the effectiveness of an anti-psychotic medication for veterans with chronic, military
service-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The Yale-led study is funded by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
On Sep 20, 2005, at 3:12 PM, Robert Rosenheck wrote:

I am one of the authors on the study that you read about that found that the newer drugs are not much better than the older ones. Over 30% of veterans with
PTSD are now taking these drugs, so our study is not putting them on the drugs -- they are getting them anyway. Our study is needed to find out the answers to
your questions. Do these drugs help? Do they harm? We do everything we can to have genuinely informed consent. In my experience veterans are happy to
participate in research if they think it I believe this study will help other veterans whatever the results. That's why we are doing it.
Bob

Do you know what I heard him saying?
Will they help, will they harm? Lets find out? By using our nations combat ptsd veterans as guinea pigs!
So much for the Hippocratic oath, first, do no harm.
Risperdal (any antipsychotic, including seroquil, Abilify,zaprexa,etc.) Antipsychotics should only be used at the lowest possible does,when nothing else
worked, there is no other choice, For the shortest amount of time, and only if the benefits outweigh the risks. The VA is also using it off label, and you can
sue the government if you have been injured by their malpractice!

This is one of a group of psychiatric drugs which causes a serious and sometimes fatal reaction called Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. It may cause fever,
rigid muscles, rapid heart beat, rapid breathing, sweating, shaking, seizures, and unconsciousness or coma. The death rate is 20%.
This drug can also cause tardive dyskinesia (TD). The brain damage caused by TD can be permanent.
Risperdal (Risperidone) Lawsuit Risperdal, which is manufactured by Janssen Pharmaceuticals, a division of Johnson & Johnson, is another member of the
family of drugs knows as Atypical Antipsychotics.
Risperdal has been linked to diabetes and, more specifically, Type 2 diabetes. (Type 2 diabetes is sometimes called adult-onset diabetes. Type 2 diabetes is
associated with an increased risk of heart disease and stroke)
Other serious side effects, however, include Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS), Tardive Dyskinesia, stroke or stroke-like events, and even death. (NMS is a
potentially fatal syndrome involving muscle rigidity, and irregular blood pressure and pulse).
Tardive Dyskinesia is a central nervous system disorder, which results in involuntary movement of the limbs and twitching of the face and tongue.)
http://www.coreynahman.com/atypical-antipsychotic-lawsuits.html
Please read this manufactures information before agreeing to take Risperdal. And hey guys, I bet they won't tell you that your sex dive will be gone, and
your sperm count will NEVER recover, even after you stop the med. Lots of good stuff here that may prevent your death. Please read all before you decide.
http://www.fda.gov/cder/foi/label/2003/20272s-26,27,20588s-17,18,21444s-2,3_risperdal_lbl.pdf

FDA warning letter about risperdal
http://www.leflaw.com/deardoctor2.pdf
The so called "mental health professionals," are doing a lot of serious harm to people with ptsd. Please don't let anyone convince you that
you're anything less than sane. Antipsychotics are also a class of drugs called NEUROLEPTICS. Neuroleptics CAUSE NEURO-LOGICAL damage. Is it really logical
to prescribe this class of drugs to our wounded warriors?
These antipsychotics cause the symptoms of mental illness. (then when the drug is withdrawn, usually because the side effects are intolerable, and a person
experiences withdrawal symptoms, they use those symptoms to prove you are mentally ill and need the drugs). Does it make sense to you to treat an autonomic
nervous system injury with drugs that actually cause nervous system injury?
Tardive Dyskinesia is a central nervous system disorder, which results in involuntary movement of the limbs and twitching of the face and tongue.) This is a
permanent condition, even if you stop taking the drugs. Any antipsychotic medication, actually CAUSES the symptoms of ptsd we are attempting to eliminate.
Since we already know that ptsd is a nervous system injury, it doesn't take a rocket scientists to understand that the benefits of these drugs don't
outweigh the very serious risks. With side effects like diabetes, neurologic damage, and death, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know the "mental
health professionals" are doing a lot of harm.
I'm afraid drugs that cause permanent neurological damage will intensify the already debilitating symptoms of ptsd, and increase your suffering, while
decreasing your chances for recovery.
Please research ptsd drugs AS IF your life depended on it. (It does!) The ptsd motto "Trust no one," is also a good rule of thumb to follow when some
psych is attempting to invalidate your suffering and the normal symptoms of ptsd (which serve a valuable purpose in the healing process) by drugging them into
oblivion.
Veterans alert, just say no!
Research your ptsd pills here
http://groups.msn.com/AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSDtoo/ptsdandthefam.msnw?action=mb_post&mview=0&ID_TopParent=35350&ID_Parent=35350

It's pretty common knowledge that the VA offers pills, not skills.

I AM A VETERAN OF OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM. I WAS DIAGNOSED BY THE ARMY AS HAVING PTSD. I HAVE HAD OUT PATIENT AND IN PATIENT THERAPY. I WILL BE FINE FOR ABOUT
3 WEEKS THEN I FEEL THE SAME ALL OVER AGAIN. I AM CURRENTLY TAKING 150MG EFFEXOR AND 200MG ZOLOFT. I ALSO TAKE 400MG OF SEROQUEL TO SLEEP. I HAVE SEROQUEL IN
25MG TABLETS FOR ANXIETY. SOMETIMES I CAN SLEEP AND SOMETIMES I CANN'T. THE ONLY THING THEY SEEM TO DO FOR ME IS KEEP UPING THE DOSES. I NEED SO REAL HELP.
I HAVE INSOMNIA, FLASHBACKS, NIGHTMARES, NIGHT SWEATS, NIGHT JERKS. I CAN SEE AND SMELL THE COMBAT SOME TIMES. I HAVE IN MY SLEEP HIT MY WIFE(NIGHT JERKS). I
HAVE COME TO MY WITTS END DOES ANYBODY HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR ME. THANK YOU
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/mentalhealth/messages/32560.html
Neuroleptics and Brain Damage
http://groups.msn.com/AftermathofwarcopingwithPTSDtoo/general.msnw?action=get_message&mview=0&ID_Message=32513&LastModified=4675638309226657280
I wanted to share this letter from a friend.
"Good day,
I am a friend of a veteran who has ptsd and I am trying to get some information for him.
Apparently he was prescribed risperdal for a few month. He took risperdal until two months ago and then discontinued. After one month he found out through
sperm analysis that he sub-fertile with a law count.
He is devastated as he wants to start having a family.
I am trying to find out whether it is reversible and whether he can restore his fertility.
His psychiatrist was of no help so he got a referral to a fertility expert.
The fertility expert told him to wait 4 months and then to test again his fertility.
He explain that it will take up to a month for the affect of risperdal to leave the body and further 3 months to create new sperm clean of the affect of
risperdal.
My friend is anxious to know his chances to recover.
In my search for answers on the net I came across your web-site and I wonder if you know of other veterans who were given risperdal, discontinued and whether a
few months later (at least four months) managed to recover.
I also would like to be a member as I would like to chat to other people and encouraging my friend to chat as well with other veterans
Thanks for your help"

The manufacturer states the affects on sperm counts are PERMANENT, they NEVER recover, even after going off the antipsychotic drugs. I am assuming that similar
antipsychotics have the same effect on sperm counts, etc. Has your veteran been affected in a similar way? Has the VA prevented you from having children of
your own after MIStreating you for having ptsd?
"Risperdal should be used only when nothing else worked, and there is no other choice. For the shortest amount of time, and only if the benefits outweigh
the risks. The VA is also using it off label, and you can sue the government if you have been injured by their malpractice! "

In sum, this study identified three ways that neuroleptics can (and apparently do) kill people
at alarming rates; 1) causing them to lose their
teeth and get respiratory problems, 2)
overwhelming the body when combined with a
second neuroleptic, and 3) causing rigidity and
reducing their overall activity level. The final
common pathway(s) seemed to be general
medical decline and death from respiratory
illness. Probably no one would have suspected
that neuroleptics were the ultimate cause. We
are right to be concerned about quick deaths
form NMS, agranulocytosis, etc.... but it
appears that more ordinary deaths from
neuroleptics are much more common.
read the rest at
http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/showthread.php?t=12522

Jonathan Shay, M.D., Ph.D.
Staff Psychiatrist, Boston VA Outpatient Clinic
jshay@world.std.com
10/1/95
About medications for ptsd:
This was prepared as educational material for combat veterans, but may be useful to others, such as veterans' spouses and non-physician mental health
professionals. It is in the public domain and may be duplicated and distributed freely.
read the entire article here
http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/ptsd.html

A copy of my poem Thank You Soldier is going to be placed in every VA facility across the country. In honor of our veterans and Memorial Day I thought I would
share it here too. (please try to remember that anniversarys and holidays are triggers for our wounded ptsd veterans as well.) Please feel free to share it
with your men, and please tell them I said:

Thank you Soldier

Have you stopped to thank a veteran today?
For the price of freedom they had to pay?
Did you gaze into those distant eyes?
Did you see the ghosts he can't deny?
Did you think a soldier's heart was made of steel?
Because he was trained to kill, he couldn't feel?
Did you see the guilt written on his face,
For the loss of life he can't replace?
Did you know he mourns the lives he couldn't save,
And walks with comrades in their grave?
Did you remember the boy with innocence lost?
Do you really know war's ultimate cost?
Have you felt the blast of artillery fire?
Do you have the courage it would require?
Have you stood in trenches consumed with fear?
Felt the enemies breath so very near?
Have you walked with God on a battleground?
Seen your brothers dead or dying all around?
Have you stopped to thank a vet today,
Or did you just turn and walk away?
From the pain he'll carry for the rest of his life,
Did you consider his family, his children, his wife?
That watch him suffer in silence each and every day,
As he's haunted by memories that don't go away?
Did you care that the soldier is still pulling guard?
That his heart, mind, and soul will forever be scarred?
Do you know how he suffers from ptsd?
Or that our precious freedom is never free?
Did you care that he still hears the blood curdling screams?
Or that he returns to the war each night in his dreams?
Have you felt the sorrow of a combat vet?
Or would you rather just forget?
That war has pierced his hardened heart,
And torn this soldier all apart?
Would you rather our heroes just fade away?
Or will you stop to thank a vet today?

I am a gf of a marine OIF vet and he has PTSD I knew this going into the relationship but now things are getting difficult he is getting help and on meds but
that doesnt help. I have woken up in the middle of the night cause i got hit by him and i know its not his fault. His emotions go up and down he had become
distant then angry then happy. He said i should just leave him but thats not what he wants or i want I just need someone to talk to who is also going through
these similar things.... Please help.

At times such as these there seems to be little help out there. I have also been attacked in the middle of the night by my Nam Vet. It takes a toll on the
spouse and although I have somehow managed to be somewhat successful of maintaining a marriage of over 27 years it not easy.

The best help you can get is to learn all you can about combat PTSD. There are several great books out . Patience Mason's literature is a great place to
start. Along with this you need to always remember you did not cause this......you cannot fix it.....it is not your fault.....and it is not curable. I most
certainly will always agree it is not fixable......but I have found with much work on my Vets and myself part we have found a way for it to be "
containable".

I've been friends with my guy since we were 11 years old and we're now 35. We went all through school together. After high school he went to Somalia, Iraq, and recently 5 tours to Afghanistan.A few months ago we recently reconnected after a number of years and after one month he had his first freak out. We have great communication, are super close, and then poof! He puts a barrier there. We went away for the weekend recently and he couldn't sleep with me in the bed with him, even though he has a mild prescription for sleeping. He does get therapy and is pretty cognizant of his weirdness. I come from a military family, and have dated someone with severe untreated PTSD so this is a cake-walk in comparison. I know I'm not going to change him, but I know part of the reason they get so goofy is theres a lack of trust to be vulnerable. I guess I'm trying to see if anyone out there is having these same issues with the man in their life and how they're dealing with it. Thankfully, behind the dating, we have a good friendship. A lot of people out here are rude to veterans and ask him really awful questions. He told me I'm one of the only people he lets "in".

In 2007, I married a Vietnam Vet with PTSD. He was mananging it fairly well and I felt like, at the time, that we could make a go of it. I am certainly not throwing in the towel, but this last year has been dicey as he has spiraled down into the depths and mostly refusing to get help. He is currently on meds that seem to be helping a bit, but sleeping irregularly, sitting in his cave of an office and not participating in life at all. I work at home in my own office and feel myself getting more and more depressed. Meanwhile, I have my own health issues and spend part of my day doing self-care and then attempting to get some work done. Normally optimistic about life in spite of everything, I find myself feeling pretty hopeless. He has agreed to go start the process of cognitive therapy at the local VA center tomorrow. I am skeptical, but hopeful he will go. I guess I am just feeling alone right now and we have lost so much this last year, been in near foreclosure and my ability to make an income has been greatly diminshed. He has full disability income from the VA which helps as he is considered unemployable. Just want to stay out of the downward spiral myself and reach out. Thanks!

I read your post and I am going through the exact same things. I knew that my husband(who served in Iraq) had PTSD before I married him. I guess in the back of my mind I thought that with love and understanding I could "fix"him. Now I know that I cannot fix him. He is on medication which only helps minimally. He goes to counseling occassionally and this seems like a temporary fix. He will be laid back and easy going for a couple days after his counseling session, but then goes back to the mood swings, angry outbursts, isolation, etc. I feel like I can't have feeling or emotions, mood swings, or even a bad day because I have to be on my toes due to his PTSD. There are so many good qualities about him, that I am willing to help him work through his PTSD. Lately though it's been really bad. His mood is from one extreme to another and I never know what might trigger an episode. I am so glad I found this site. I think it will help me if I can talk to others who are going through these same things.

I dont know what to do. My husband has several symptoms of PTSD. I am afraid this is killing our marriage. He does not want to talk to anyone and, I no longer know what to do. If you have any ideas please share them. I am scared for him.

Unless he has been diagnosed with PTSD there really isn't anything you can do. Even if he is diagnosed with PTSD there is still little you can do. You can learn about PTSD, but the biggest thing is knowing that you did not cause the PTSD, you can't control his PTSD and you can't cure his PTSD. Learn about what is PTSD behavior and what is not, learn about bounderies. Patience Mason is a author and a wife of a Veteran with PTSD. She has written several articles and many are free to download. Here is a link.

Thank you TraumaQueen too for your deeply felt posting. I was hoping I could get your permission to copy and paste it into my own folder so I can find it more easily. This is my first post too.

My husband went to Vietnam in the early 70's, drafted like millions of others. But before that, he was cruelly abused in the worst way by his father, his mother the victim of battered wife syndrome could not protect him. His father sent him at 15 to the court to get him declared incorrigible and was caught up into the California Youth Authority system. I understand they were really bad. Between his genes and his environment; he was a preemie in 1953. He self-medicated for many years to erase the painful memories. I was too self-absorbed and quick to call him a drug addict when I should have been looking deeper. Although, to my credit, I did try to get him to a doctor who could help him. But he refused to go. Until about 4 years ago, he finally explained his fears about why he didn't want to go get his VA benefits. Once he did that, it has been a whole lot better...kinda. All the years of drug use lowered his serotoin levels so bad so that is being fixed. And he has a doctor he can relate to. Now it is my turn to understand and your letter just did that in spades. Either war or child abuse, there will still be ptsd.

I'll be checking in more often. I am hoping through this forum I can find wives like myself. And I am sure there are a lot of them, hiding just like we were. Thanks again! Robbin