Monday, July 20, 2009

THE RULES OF ATTRACTION

Today I had a rude awakening. Well, it actually was exceedingly polite, and it came from a very sweet source, someone I met at Ambar la Fox (my now-favorite BA dance club) several months ago and went out with exactly one time. We've kept in touch since then, via Facebook, MSN and occasional text messages, but we have yet to go out on a second date. Not for a lack of trying on his part. Well, come to think of it, it's probably been because of a lack of trying on his part. He hints at it, dances around it, but he's always stopped short of directly asking me out again.

Normally, I'm not such a passive wallflower. I'm not afraid to ask guys out. And it's not that I would mind seeing him again. But the desire hasn't been strong enough for me to make the first move. And truth be told, I'm kind of enjoying the hinting, the dancing around, the skirting the issue. I guess you could say that I'm playing the game -- effortlessly, though, because winning it isn't a high priority. Why would I be interested in landing a nice guy? Don't they finish last anyway? As usual (and like most romantic fools), I'm drawn to the jerks, always chasing after the biggest loser.

Today we were chatting on MSN for the first time in about a couple of weeks, him flirting, me pretending not to notice. The he dropped a three-part bomb on me.

In other words, he likes me because I'm a challenge. I give him the time of day, but not much more. I'm disinterested enough to keep him coming back for more.

So that's what I've been doing so wrong all these years! I'm being nice, giving guys the one thing they don't really want: attention. Seems The Rules were right on all along. If you like a guy and you really want to win him over, pretend like he doesn't exist. We've all suspected it, hypothesized about it, but until now, has anyone ever actually confirmed it? Unfortunately, doing it is easier said than done. If I like a guy, it's hard for me not to go a little over the top. In this case, though, I'm not just playing it cool. Hot blooded? Not me. Cold as ice is more like it.

But damn if he didn't say all the right things, give me all the right compliments, telling me how my MSN photo drives him crazy every time. Our conversation ended with him once again letting me know in his not-so-subtle-but-just-short-of-daring way that whenever I call, he'll be here. And once again, I gave my perfected non-committal response: "si, pronto, undia."

Except this time, I think I might actually mean it a little. How unlike the average porteño he is. Un-aggressive, respectful, tactful. All this, and he's cute, too. But who knows if I'll be using the phone number he gave me yet again? If he wants to see me, he's going to have to brace himself and be the man. Now that I know that "The Rules" aren't meant to be broken, this is onedesafío (challenge) who's not about to get any easier.

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