I'm up too early and randomly reading this old post, but I'll be pleased if someone ends up addressing my question anyway. It does deviate from focusing on the Duggars, but I believe we're not supposed to lift quotes from one thread and put them in another, right?

So: does BF/AP of infants really work this way for everyone, or for most mothers?

With my youngest, I did everything blessedwithboys recommends in the 1st part of her post and none of the things that she suggests hasten the return of one's menstrual cycle.* Yet, my regular cycle returned within a few months, just like it had with my older twins, who were in the NICU for 4 months and whom I couldn't hold much during that time and was never able to BF.

I did BF/AP because it seemed instinctive, not because I'd researched it beforehand or hoped for a specific side-effect. But I did hear from my midwife that breastfeeding should postpone the need for birth control (or NFP in our case, as we're Catholic). I was disappointed that it didn't work that way, for me. Is that really so unusual?

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*Unless she strictly means that letting anyone - including husband/dad - ever hold/bond with the baby defeats BF/AP; but surely she doesn't mean that? I assumed blessedwithboys is talking about regularly having someone else carry/care for a baby for significant stretches between nursing, so she can get things done without wearing the baby.

I think it works for a lot of people, most people even, but no, it does not for everyone and I would absolutely not recommend relying on it. With my first, I got my period back right around her first birthday. With my second, my first was still nursing quite a bit too too, but for some reason I got my period back at seven weeks. I didn't believe it was a period a first, I thought it was a late return of the bleeding after birth (though that had stopped five or six weeks before), but then it came again four weeks later and four weeks after that... With my third I got it back at seven weeks again (not tandem nursing that time).

I nursed on demand (baby anyway, toddler nursed several times a day when tandem nursing, but sometimes was told to wait), co-slept, and used a wrap and sling a lot. I did put my babies in a swing occasionally as I was home alone with no one else to hold the baby, but I don't believe that there has ever been a society where the mother held the baby 100% of time without handing her off to a grandmother for twenty minutes here or there, and with my second the reason for putting him the swing was generally so my toddler could nurse.

I've read that the amount of time spent nursing impacts return of fertility, especially at night. So a child who is nursing off and on at night would trigger the hormones that keep fertility at bay. I don't know if there's a lot of research on this to support or refute it, but I'm putting it out there for debate.