Sunday, April 18, 2010

Last night I was at a birthday slumber party with a few of my sisters friends when this guy that I am "dating" checks in on me. I didn't have a problem chit chatting about what we were doing at the time and responded. It was when he said, "Don't be falling into any new beds or familiar ones either." I was like WTH. Who was this guy to say anything to me. I know that I probably made molehill out of an anthill, but it really pissed me off. It isn't like we are together or have any type of "relationship" going on. Is it really any of his business who I am dealing with because I don't think so. Honestly I don't need someone checking up on me like that and I simply don't appreciate. Yes, now he is apologizing for his comment, but I am kinda put a little off.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Ok I broke up with my ex like 8 months ago. Actually we never actually broke up we just stopped talking completely which sums up to breaking up. And still I am "Officially Missing You". Everyday something brings him to the forefront of my mind and it drives me nuts. I am so trying to get past him but for some reason I can't. Thank goodness I don't actually ever have to see him but his presence is felt daily. There are no pictures or gifts to remind me of him, just some random thing. A candy bar, someone driving a truck like his and saying my sons name which is he same as his (no he's not my kids dad).

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I just had a life moment with the guy that has had a piece of me is having a baby with his wife. He didn't even tell me. It's not like we are running around cheating or anything we just have that friendship that is always questioned by everyone. I found out by looking at a facebook page of a mutual friend and I saw his wifes name and her baby bump. You can say that I was somewhat devastated when I saw it. I know that I am not in love with him but still it cut me deep. I don't know what to do about someone who tells me everything but not the one most important thing going on in their life. Not to mention the fact that he keeps talking about lost love on facebook which trips me out. It was almost with every update was an underlying love question and it was driving me nuts. I really don't think I can just kick him to the curb because I love thinking of him as the guy that got away. Oh what to do, what to do. Things could be so much easier.

It had been a total of 3 weeks since I had seen the guy that I am semi kinda dating. We haven't established any names for our relationship and I am perfectly fine with that. I could tell that he was really missing me while I was on vacation because he was calling me constantly and leaving me messages all day long. He even said on the day basis how much he missed me. He said he just wanted to see that smile on my face. When I came back on Monday he was hoping to see me but I had things to do so I had to put him off. Yesterday rolled around and he pleaded with me to drive to see him. I obliged and had a good time as usual. It was quite different to be in his home and see his things. I finally got to see pictures of him as a kid and all of the things that makes him, well him. Part of me would like to see this go farther but a part of me isn't remotely interested in him. There are times that I do roll my eyes when I see the phone ringing, but there are also moments of excitement when I hear his voice. I know I am certifiably crazy to be complaining or even even unsure about any of this. You can understand why I am a hot chocolatey mess.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Lately my life has been a hot chocolate mess. My love life is on the bends and is falling apart around. On one side I have all my unhappily married friends and on the other are my unhappily single friends and I am stuck in the middle trying to figure this crap out. Help me!!!!