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So I have a few things I want to chat about today, one of them being this shoot( Posted below) has been published in Creators Magazine, which is SUPER amazing and I’m so thankful. Huge awesome milestone. I can’t believe it!!!

Alright moving on to some more important things. I’ve been wanting to talk about growing up and going through phases, but essentially finding yourself.

Let’s start in the awkward phases of middle school where we are going through puberty getting to know ourselves, getting to know our peers, finding your friend groups and finding out your hobbies. This stage is super important, at least it was for me. I’ve always loved the things I love from a young age, I mean from the age of 6 I was singing and dancing everyday, but I also watched as I grew up… I watched my moms style and her fashion and that really inspired me to love fashion. But then in middle school I really got into loving playing the guitar and singing covers of songs it just became my life. I would sing and dance in the garage at my house everyday. This phase was really about finding our passions. Now I know not everyone is the same in that aspect… sometimes it takes awhile and that’s okay. That’s what we always get so stressed about later on or getting things done by a certain age and having this timeline. It’s completely okay to not know too, and to take your time doing so.

When I started my blog which was in high school, so I was not really sure who I was. I really just started it because I loved fashion and I loved writing. My blog has never been about just selling things or doing it because everyone else is doing it. I started this back in 2013 and I’m SO happy I did. It has brought me so many wonderful opportunities and experiences. I’m so thankful and grateful these platforms exist. Reasoning behind my blog is that I wanted to inspire and motivate young individuals like myself to never let anything stop them from pursuing what they love. Growing up in a small town was really hard in that aspect because if you did something like this or sing/dance and want to pursue it you were crazy, or the odd one out. It is possible and doing what you love even if it may be scary or taking a risk despite the criticism you can do it. I’m that voice in the back of your head saying, don’t listen to what people think or their opinions should they be negative. Listen to yourself, listen to your heart. More importantly LOVE the life your building. LOVE every step of the way.

This brings me to my next point. Through every different phase of my life, and yours too. We are finding ourselves, we are finding what we like and what we don’t like. We are finding the groups of people we thrive around and the groups of people we don’t. We are finding the music that makes our souls sing. We are finding the styles of clothing and trends we love and things we don’t. People have said I do too much and to find one things and stick to that. Excuse me… but what?! Everything I do I love with all my heart. I love a lot of different styles, I love fashion and beauty and music. That’s what has made me the person I am today, I’ve learned that I’m not just one thing. I’m everything that I love built in one and again that’s what makes me… Me. That’s what makes you… You.

Get out there and build your best life. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.

Have you ever met someone who has completely changed you life and you can’t imagine your life without them?

We go through our life meeting all kinds of people day in day out. From acquaintances to ride or die. People can become your best friends and then disappear without a word. Everyone I believe, that comes into your life is for a reason. I look at the relationships around me and see why and the reasoning for the friendship/relationship to see what it’s taught me, to see what I’ve become from the relationship and to see what I’ve gained or lost. Then there are the people you meet who completely change your life and you all of the sudden can’t ever imagine what your life is like without them or what your life was like before you met them. I’m going to get more personal than I’ve ever been before, because this is important to me and a big part of the person I am becoming.

I’m going to leave this person un named as of now, but I wanna be able to look back on this years and years from now, no matter where our lives take us, I want to make sure I remember this, because I also believe how rare it is to find people who touch our hearts and souls at the same time. I met this person almost a year ago, and let me tell you it’s like our souls connected and I have never felt anything like it before. Life is complicated and I’ve learned nothing that’s worth having is ever easy. Fast forward till about September, He slowly became my other half… someone I couldn’t ever imagine life without. He changed my perspective on how I see the world, how I see traveling, how I see music and how I see myself. I’ve never met anyone that literally knows me like the back of my hand. One of my favorite things about him and I think this is one of the reasons we have so much fun together always is that everything is always an adventure with him. It feels like we’ve known each other a lot longer than a year, I feel like I’ve known him my entire life. His taste in music is impeccable, I feel like sometimes we speak to each other through songs and lyrics. He see’s life like an adventure itself, like a never-ending fairytale. He’s a goofball and a child at heart and always knows how to make me laugh till I cry. Though he doesn’t like to be the one in front of the camera, he’s a stud and knows it. Haha

For his birthday we spent the weekend away in Flagstaff, Arizona. It was much needed for the both of us to get away for a couple days and refresh ourselves. We stayed in this Airstream with a view too beautiful for words, it was freezing and snowy and amazing. We then went to Snowbowl on Friday, which I have not been snowboarding in like two years…. also never thought I would be snowboarding in Arizona… Haha Crazy right?! We of course took a bunch of photos and some video, But it was probably one of the funnest weekends I’ve had in a long time and honestly made me realize how much I miss adventuring like this and how important the people closest to me are. Creating content is all fine and dandy but I would rather create moments than content. We then spent that night being absolutely delirious in the airstream, laughing too hard with too much takeout Chinese.

Life is a series of moments that we play back and get nostalgia from later on in life. Most people are so caught up in getting everything for Instagram and the perfect shot, the perfect video, wearing the perfect outfit, looking like life is perfect all the time. Now I’m not going to deny I’m completely guilty of this too, we all are. This small trip defined the difference for me between creating content and creating memories/captured memories. Photos are so important to me, but not in the same way they are so needed for our generation… if that makes sense?

“Back to Reality” they say, but what if that wasn’t the case, what if you made it your reality. For just a moment all our cares and worries went away, what If we lived like that everyday. Only then would we be really living our lives to the fullest. How about…

“On to the next adventure…”

-H

” We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone”

“The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given and that’s the secret.”

I want to dive into something real quick before I talk about the pictures above. I always want to take you guys who read my blog a little bit into my life that’s not on Instagram or other social media. I feel more personal on my blog and the ability to be a little bit more vulnerable. Doing music and really trying to pursue it, and writing songs everyday and singing my heart out… trying to learn as much as I can. Trying to learn everyday how to better myself as an artist and my craft. I LOVE learning about music and writing. It brings me so much joy. Throughout this whole process and still going obviously, I’ve learned a great deal about what I really want in life and what really matters. My perspective on a lot has changed since doing it and it has really opened my eyes to people and to people that care about you. With my blog I want to inspire you guys and motivate you to achieve your dreams and goals and be the BEST version of yourself. In this day and age it’s so easy to get caught up in what everyone thinks about you and other people’s opinions, it’s so easy to let that affect who you are and what you can achieve. Now, I’m not sitting here and telling you I know it all and all the ways to not let this affect you and/or ways around it, because I’m still trying to find ways to ignore it, but the best way I can put it is nothing anyone says can lessen your personal worth or lessen your talents/what you’re doing.

I feel like I always end up rambling when I get an idea of what I want to talk about, but I hope you guys know that by now and are okay with listening to me ramble. We took these photos last week and they came out SUPER nostalgic, almost in a way where these are the types of photos you look back on in a decades time bringing you back to a feeling, bringing you back to that specific time and place. Oh you guys Nostalgia is one of my favorite feelings. It’s so insane to me how you could be sitting in a field one day with a good friend, while the sun is setting and just get an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. All these feelings bring you back to a time and place where you once felt something that made you so happy. A memory that you can’t replicate, It’s like taking you back in a time machine and the whole world stops. This feeling is a feeling we all should reflect on as it’s happening because it almost puts you in a meditative state. I feel like nostalgia happens to remind us in this crazy world that goes by so fast of what’s really important in life and what really should matter to us, because a the end of the day all these memories we are making every single day are all moments and one day we will look back on and wonder if we would have just lived in the moment, would we remember it longer, or would it be an infinite memory that we always remember not just in feelings of nostalgia. Next time you find yourself in a moment you want to remember for the rest of your life. Take a minute, breathe and take everything in that’s around you. I guess I take these moments so seriously right now because I’m in an in between phase in my life where I’m realizing a lot and not quite where I wanna be yet but also working my ass off to get there. So much is changing around me constantly that it is hard to take in those little moments that you want to remember forever that, I have to remind myself to do this all the time. Also so many little things are happening around me in the midst of all of this that I want to remember forever and I know for a fact are some of the best memories I have within the last two years.

“Isn’t it funny how day by day everything changes, but when you look back everything is different. “

The jacket I’m wearing also is a HUGE nostalgic piece. My mom painted this for me and the crazy thing is while my mom is extremely talented and artistic she also painted a tank top for me when I was like 8 of a moon and the faces on them are almost identical. Which is SO crazy to me. I think we might start designing more of these with different designs because she’s also designed one with a phoenix on the back, so stay tuned they might be for sale soon:)

Well here we are, I’m gonna tell you guys I’m scared shitless for trying to achieve a dream I’ve had since I was 6. No one ever talks about it,

Let me tell you why, now most people don’t say they are scared shitless, but I’m in this weird place where I’m excited as hell to be doing things that I’ve dreamt of and doing things that I love but I’m also so scared. Being scared in a place like this consists of being fearful to let people down and not be as great as I want to and hope to be. I don’t want to let people down, like my parents and everyone that I’m working with. I also don’t want to let people down that look up to me and people that I inspire. Most importantly I don’t want to let myself down.. and I think that’s one of the biggest things. Having the courage within yourself to achieve your dreams and goals and enough fire under your ass to never give up and never stop, no matter what gets in your way.

We are all scared to some extent at this point in our lives, I mean at any point in your life, with whatever you’re doing, It’s okay to be fearful, just don’t let it get in the way of doing everything you can to achieve your goals. It’s almost like you get this fluttery feeling in your chest like when your excited but also nervous. It’s been feeling like that to me and at times it’s SO annoying. Over the past couple months I’ve definitely become more of a homebody trying to stay focused and not let myself get distracted by all other things in life, because it can be draining to always be ON. By that I mean you can’t always be 100% for everything. You may want to be but you’ll just end up draining yourself and that version of you isn’t one you want to end up like 24/7. I just recently listened to a podcast by Katy Bellotte and she was taking about how this generation is the “Burnout” generation. Which is so true and you guys should all listen to it. She’s basically saying how we are the generation that doesn’t stop and we literally keep going and going and going till we either exhaust ourselves, burnout or get in bad mental states because of how much we are doing and committing ourselves to get done… to make something of ourselves. We have become the generation that doesn’t sleep and thinks “It’s Cool” which let me tell you is draining in itself. Don’t get me wrong I am all for work your ass off and do everything you can to achieve your goals and dreams, but don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way. The repercussions for not taking care of yourself are far worse than making the time to do it.

” This letter is to you.

The you that’s had a rough week. The you that seems to be under constant storm clouds. The you that feels invisible. The you that doesn’t know how much longer you can hold on. The you that has lost faith. The you that always blames yourself for everything that goes wrong. To You.

You are incredible. You make this world al title bit more wonderful. You have so much potential and so many things left to do.. You have time. Better things are coming your way, so please hang in there. You can do it. ”

“There’s nothing more humbling than being a creative person, because you constantly feel like a failure”

This line is from my favorite show Nashville and it’s always just there in the back of my head. Now let me dissect this. Being any sort of creative person is a very humbling thing, the whole journey through is very humbling. When you’re a creative, anything from a songwriter, photographer, videographer, dancer, painter… literally anything in the arts. Fearing failure is so real in any field of art, because we are always told growing up if we are creative and want to pursue a career in the arts it’s a one in a million chance you make it. Of course there is always going to be that fear but when you’re actually pursuing it and living through it… through the ups and downs there are moments where you will feel like a failure… In my experience it’s with songwriting. I’m learning as I’m going with this obviously, as with anything. There are definitely days where my mind just can’t write and all the melodies I write suck and I get frustrated. Through this I’ve learned you have to embrace the journey and trust the process. Of course we are going to come across mental creative blocks and have to come back to it at a later point. It’s all part of living and doing it. When you feel like failure it’s telling you to fight through learn from it and keep going. These are moments of grief, frustration and sometimes pure annoyance; because we all want to get where we see ourselves and be there already…

We live in a world now where we want things instantly and need them to happen now. We see our peers living and achieving things by a certain age and wonder why aren’t we where we want to be yet? Then we question our path, we question what we did to get to where we are at… and wonder am I doing this right? Am I going to be a failure? But it’s not and we need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves just because of everyone else or just because someone else did what you’re doing at the same age and maybe did it quicker than you. Stop basing your life on other people. Your timeline is your timeline. Your path is your path. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t done something by a certain age. Someone once told me… Give it 5 years and if it doesn’t kick off or happen in 5 years… Go back to your normal day job. Don’t listen to that. Sometimes it might take anywhere from 5-10 years before you notice anything. You have to put in the time, the hard work and persevere and don’t let anyone tell you what you’re doing is wrong or you should be doing this, you should be doing that. People will always tell you what they think you should be doing but what are they doing? Only take this advice from people who can back it up and from people who only want to see you succeed. Constructive criticism is always welcome as well, just know the difference between someone giving you feedback to better yourself and someone just shitting on you in a condescending way to make themselves feel better.

Moral of this post is to Trust the process and I am learning To feel the fear in all the ups and downs and keep your eye on the goal. It’s okay if you fail, just keep going and don’t get stuck in the rut. Learn, Grow, and Conquer.

Today’s blog post is not about fashion, I told you guys I wanted to dive into some deeper thought’s that have been on my mind.. because I’m a very emotional person and I’ve experienced a lot of different feelings this past year, that I feel the need to let off my chest I’ve felt a lot of love and I’ve been through a lot of loss… and a heck of a lot of finding who I am through it all.

I’ve always been the person so willing to give everyone love… no matter what and no matter what the circumstance is. People make mistakes, people are human. It is okay and it’s okay to still love people despite their mistakes. I feel like in our generation nowadays people have the tendency to just cut people off which is fine if you don’t vibe with them, but in other cases when you spend everyday with the same people and all the sudden they cut you off because you aren’t this perfect person or they think they’re all the sudden better than you, it sucks, you guys, but they aren’t the people for you. I’ve been through all kinds of situations and I’ve never been the person to cut people off because I just can’t do that to people no matter what they’ve done to me thus far. I’ve dealt with a lot of self centered egotistical people and that Is not the energy I wanted in my life. A song to describe the feeling I was feeling for more than half the year last year is Breathin’ By Ariana Grande.

I’ve never really talked much about making friends and meeting the right people after completely moving to a new state and knowing literally no one. It’s hard. I thought it was so easy when I first moved down here because I met so many people and so many people that also knew each other.. it’s a big city but it’s small… everyone knows everyone. I kind of got sucked into the wrong crowd.. and when you’re 22 years old trying to find your way in a new big city you think you’re doing everything you can and you want to believe everything you see. Especially when you’re a trusting person like myself. I became heavily influenced by Scottsdale and what I thought was cool, but it was NEVER me. I don’t even know how I met all these people it’s just so bizarre to me, but it happened and taught me several very valuable lessons. Scottsdale is all about clout and all about who has the most expensive things. All anyone is doing is trying to show off, and show off who’s better. They all say they are entrepreneurs.. but they are all literally doing the SAME thing, either selling real estate or selling alcohol. Hahaha. That was a joke. Not really but all Scottsdale is about is the next bottle girl and partying it up in Old Town.

EW. I’ve met several guys out there too, and let me tell you they are all after one thing and they all look the same and want the same girl. It’s disgusting. Not to mention everyone out there stays out there, no one really goes anywhere. But I got sucked into it with a crowd of people who didn’t have my best interest at heart and didn’t really care about real true friendship. Also just to clear the air I don’t drink or do anything of that sort really. So as you can imagine why was I even going out in the first place. Nobody even really dances. A couple months later I got involved with a local community theatre which literally saved the day. I needed that in my life again. That is literally the epitome of who I am as a person and the type of people I want to surround myself with. It removed the haze and made me separate myself from the type of person I don’t wanna be and the type of person I’ve always want to become.

Again I’m going back to making mistakes and being human. People thought I was like everyone else here and I’m truly not.. I was going through a period where I didn’t know and was a little bit naive and too trusting and didn’t really take a step back and realize what was around me. Toxic people and a toxic environment. People have the tendency to misinterpret me ALL the time… and believe me I understand and I get it. What’s kind of shitty is most of it is based off of looks. How can we as a generation, base a whole persons being off of how they look and how they present themselves. How is that possible? This brings me back to what I was saying in one of my Instagram posts about how you can’t ever really truly get to know a person through social media. We all think we really know everything about the people that we follow and we don’t. We can’t. We can’t learn everything about someone through a 15 second video they post. That is literally so minuscule in the scheme of things. People think I’m just another dumb blonde. Just because I’m blonde… and then they get to know me and are like wow I judged you and you’re nothing like what I thought. When is that ever going to end? To really get to know the people around us we have to invest time in those friendships and break away the walls and breakaway the barriers. This is what life is about and most of us are so scared to open up to people and be vulnerable, because we are afraid of getting judged or them not liking us or thinking differently of us. To be honest that is the best part. When we open up to someone and show how weird we actually are and they love us anyway, that’s the BEST kind of friendship/relationship.

As scary as it is being vulnerable with people close to you is one of the best things in life you can share with someone. If you’re that comfortable with that person to be able to open up it’s beautiful thing.. it is a beautiful thing looking into someones mind. I have a few very close friends here now that I trust with my life and they are people who have literally pried open my doors and knocked down every wall that I had because they cared and they wanted to build upon that relationship. When I haven’t been so easy to open up, I’ve always been one to deal with it on my own and not tell everyone what I’m always thinking. Friendships like that are what it’s all about. All this surface level shit that we see on social media is all so fake and I’m just so tired of seeing. I want to see real moments with real genuine people.

We meet very few people in life who quite literally take our breath away. So, remain close to those who quite literally make you feel like sunshine.

“Life is full of disappointments, failures and setbacks. None of those things can permanently stop you. You have the power in you to overcome anything life throws at you. There is nothing more powerful than a made up mind. Surround yourself with people who remind you that you matter, and support you in ways that matter most to you. No person, situation or circumstance can define who you are. Don’t give up, cave in, or stop believing that it’s possible. It’s not over till you win. ”

I’m gonna start this post by saying the universe works in mysterious ways.

These past couple weeks of the beginning of the New Year have been very testing. I have gone through lots of moments of stress of not believing in myself and overthinking EVERYTHING. When you want something so bad you literally just feel it in your heart, almost like this burning flame that never goes out. When you decide to pursue something so crazy all this fear sets in and I’m not totally fearful but it’s definitely there. I think mostly it’s just fear mixed with excitement, but there’s also this fear mixed with not wanting to let people down and let myself down. You have to have a lot of faith in yourself and the most important person to believe in you is YOU. You have to block out all the negativity and all the people telling you otherwise and just do it for you.

Today I was wrapping up my singing lesson and driving home and as I was driving home I saw this Hot Air Balloon across the way and I got this weird feeling. It was a good feeling but weird, almost like Nostalgia or De Ja Vu, but not quite either of those either. I’m someone who is greatly affected by energy and astrology and I believe heavily in it, which leads me to believe the universe is always giving you things at moments when you need them the most. I know most of you are going to find this so silly and so weird, but I looked up the Metaphysical meaning behind Hot Air Balloons and here’s what I came upon…

” Hot air balloons are messages of ascension in spiritual form and what is needed at this point. Be open to the changes now happening to you, move forward as you are guided. Opportunities are now coming forward for you to climb aboard. Dreams will begin to flourish and you are ‘asked’ to consider the expansions that are being offered to you.

Do not fear the changes taking place, as these are for your highest good at this time. If you find that any frequency presents itself to you in a way that pulls at your energy rise above it. ”

This explains what I was feeling to the absolute T. If anything I’ve learned in the last couple weeks it’s never ignore signs from the universe. They are trying to tell you something. So listen. Everything that happens is happening to you to make you grow and so you can learn, things in life are either a lesson or a blessing.