How have you been doing. I love your positive thought and stories of the day. Very inspirational! What else have you been doing to stay positive? I need alittle help in that area, staying positive and not moping about myself. I need desperately to lose weight and need to stay positive for my family. I don't want to fall in a hole and have to dig my way out of it.I have been under alot of stress. Any suggestions?

I think Robin, Sherrine and so many of the others in our fibro family would have a lot of good suggestions - I hope they might pop on here, too.

My household is difficult and affects my health - it's important for me to neutralize how I react to these things. Then, when the scare of being sicker last month came, I saw it as my wake up call - a second chance.

Sorry if this is wordy or too much ... I don't know how much to put in or leave out.

---------------Meditation:I do deep breathing and also some visualization. At first, I could only do it for a brief few minutes. It's like learning anything new, it takes persistence, then it becomes second nature. This is a simple and effective way to start here: www.relaxationresponse.org/steps/

--------------Stretching / Yoga:Every day after I do my hair and take my bath, I lay on top of the bed and do my gentle yoga stretches. (Originally for a bad back, but great for the whole body and very safe for my very crackly, grinding joints.) Makes me feel like all my energy just flows smoother.

You could start with these: Gluteal squeezes: strengthens the glutes, loosens and stretches the lower spine. Lying on your back, bring your knees up so they're bent, feet flat on the floor/bed. Gently squeeze the gluteal muscles in your buttocks and then slowly relax the muscles. Repeat only a few times when you're new - and see how your tolerance is. Healthy people can do 100 - I do about 10 right now. :D

Alternating stretches:Stretches the spine in a non-weight bearing position. Lie on your back. Elongate your spine by slowly squirming from side to side as you stretch the muscles connecting each vertebra. Feel your spine growing long and tall. Breathe slowly and deeply. Stretch both arms over your head, resting them on the floor/bed. Gently stretch your right leg and left arm outward - lengthening them. Relax. Then stretch your left leg and right arm. Then relax. Breathe deeply while stretching. You'll feel your spine and body elongate in these stretches.

Knee raises: Stretches the muscles in the hips, buttocks, knees and lower spine while in a protected position. Lying on your back, with both knees bent, bring one knee slowly toward your chest, or as high as is comfy. Place your hands on your knee or shin and gently hold the leg in position - if you feel able, pull it slightly toward your chest. Breathe deeply - feel the air expanding in your chest and stomach. Release gently, and repeat with other leg.

Resting cobra pose:This stretch puts your spine in a position of extension, takes the weight off your spine and opens the disc spaces so your spine can "breathe". Helps to align your spine and restore proper posture. Lie down on your stomach with your face turned to the side, your arms extended along your body, and your legs relaxed. Slowly bring your forehead to the floor/bed and bending your arms at he elbows, place the palms of your hands on the bed in line with your chest. keep your elbows in toward your body. Slowly raise your head and then (barely) your chest off the bed, as you move your elbows and then place your hands underneath your chin so that the weight of your head is resting on your upturned palms of your hands. (Your elbows on the bed) Breathe slowly and deeply, relaxing the muscles in your lower spine as you feel a gentle pulling from the expansion and contraction of your stomach and abdomen. When you're through, gently return your head to the bed again, your arms next to your body. If I'm in a lot of pain, I really don't raise up much at all - and if it is really bad, I'll just lie flat on my stomach without bringing my head up at all. It still helps restore the curvature of the spine.

--------------Routines and Sleep:SLEEP: I work hard on my sleep routine - getting ready for bed at the same time, winding down without tv, or internet for the last hour or two. I pop in a special sleep CD and play it on repeat all night. Barring this, I'd at least opt for adding white noise, like quiet radio static, or a fountain sound. Also - I sleep better with a sleep mask - otherwise, if I see light, I'm up. I used to use ear plugs, to drown out other noise.

WAKING: First thing when I wake up, I put on a hypnosis / relaxation recording for 30 minutes so that I don't go into a nervous state right off the bat. That is making a big difference.

DAY: I'm trying to get my whole day on some sort of general schedule - so there is consistency, it helps me feel like I have more direction that way. You know, like getting up at a certain time, eating meals at certain times (within reason), stuff like that - no matter what I feel like. I found some relaxation recordings at the library - and I pop them on while I'm at the computer / trying to work and they keep me a little looser and calmer.

I take a long bath every day for some other health issues, so now I use tub time to meditate, too.

I take tiny breaks every now and then while at the computer or working for mini deep breathing session (like 1 - 3 minutes max) to make sure I stay calm and break any tension before it gets big.

If I have to deal with family (who are a huge difficult issue for me) I try to remind myself not to get caught in their drama. I don't respond to leading statements. I don't respond to much at all - and this defuses their intent to trigger a fight - and I don't get as anxious. I try to keep out of conversations with people who are sure "the world is ending" because I simply am not that strong in my positive view point yet to not be dragged into the negativity. I stay out of conversations that will drain my strength. --------------NUTRITION: I'm trying very hard to only eat foods that don't trigger my health problems - foods that tend to soothe my ibs and fibro. That helps keep my outlook more sunny.

-----------------Distractions!These are soooo important. Find some sort of hobby that requires you to use your hands, but not TOO much of the brain. I'm thinking craft painting, working with clay, crochet, or any kind of needle work. If you can engage your hands, and your brain has to be slightly involved (no physics, or advanced geometry!) you can stop yourself from dwelling on troubling issues. No, it doesn't take away the issue, or severe pain, but the distraction is enough to make the situation bearable. I bring my needlework when I have to take my mom to her appointments - and when they had her in a treatment room recently, I found that it helped me keep a much cooler head and not let my mind play silly "what if" games with the situation. It helps when I'm in pain by not letting my mind get caught in that loop of only feeling what I'm feeling.

I don't know if any of this is useful - but it is working for me. I think the thing is to find what you feel most comfortable with. I can really sympathize with needing to lose weight. I have been on both sides now. For a while, I gained without any reason - and it wouldn't come off for years. But during that time, my stress levels were out of this world - and I was NOT coping with anything. I am sure that played a role.

----------When I'm in a bad place health-wise, I keep reminding myself that, "It will end. It isn't permanent. I've been through worse. I can handle it." Life is change. Nothing, good or bad, is permanent. Then I think about some of the strong women here in our fibro family. I think about the things they deal with regularly, and I think, "Well, she did that. I can do this." I talk to myself a lot. I try to catch myself when I'm saying or thinking something negative about myself and I correct it right away. I try instead to do self talk in loving, supportive ways - the way you'd talk to a child, I guess.

(I feel funny writing so much - I don't know what to leave in or take out!)Why my username? It is real life nickname. I love chickens. Will have my flock of hens one day! :D .............. DX'd with Fibromyalgia, chronic hives, sensitivities and allergies, migraines with auras, tmj, and IBS. Not sure what else!

Thank you so much for your input. it means alot to me! Some of these things I do and some I try to do but forget to do because of life getting into the way(if that makes sense). I have forgotten, do you have children? I have three under 10 and find myself overwhelmed sometimes and a mother who is a control freak! And sometimes I feel like I don't belong here because I don't have the pain as much as others. But I am learning how to live with this. I also need to lose 100+ lbs. Oh well, one day at a time!Again thanks for the info.Lisa

I kinda am cringing that I wrote so much. I feel like I really over did that. Sorry.

No, I don't have children. You have a lot of extra work taking care of four kids. And with a control freak hanging over your head, well, that is definitely NOT helping. You might want to say you don't have as much pain as someone else - but I'm not sure that's necessarily something we can compare. I mean - does that someone with more physical pain have your living situation? And who is to say what is more pain anyway? All of our situations are unique. There aren't any two people on this forum, or anywhere, who have exactly the same challenges. So don't worry about less or more. It just is what it is.

One hundred plus pounds can be done. It takes time, but you can do it. I wonder if working on your stress would make it all easier.

You're right about one day at a time - we only have the moment we're in. Keep doing what you can with each one.Why my username? It is real life nickname. I love chickens. Will have my flock of hens one day! :D .............. DX'd with Fibromyalgia, chronic hives, sensitivities and allergies, migraines with auras, tmj, and IBS. Not sure what else!

Thanks princess for the words of wisdom. My kids do keep me hopping but they are my angels. They keep me from sitting on the couch and feelins sorry for myself. And I realize that I have bad as well as good days but I am not going to dwell on the bad but look forward to the good and the future. I am not going to place as much pressure on myself to be perfect as I once did andwill try to do my best. That is all we ask for anyways, right? thanks for listening and don't worry about writing so much. I appreciate all the info you gave me. Take care,Lisa

Hey Lisa, I guess that I am not the only one with a control freak in the house He drives me crazy. I don't have kids but do have "step" grandkids and they do not live here. I do pick up after the control freak as one would a little kid. Thankfully my best friend keeps me in perspective.

Chickie does have a lot of great ideas and thank you for that!!Denise from Pittsburgh, Pa

Hi, Lisa! Well, you can do this. I had three children and my MIL was the control freak. THAT was the first thing I had to handle. She would take my children out and let them do things I asked her not to do and then tell the kids not to tell me. Great, huh? Well, they squealed on her! I put my foot down. I waited until I was totally calm about everything and the talked to her. I told her that she had her turn at raising her children and taking care of her family and now it's my turn. If she continued her ways, she would not get to take the kids away from our home. She knew I meant it and things got a whole lot better.

Your children can help you out. Just little things help so much. They can load and unload dishwashers, dust, and just help keep things picked up. Let them know that some things are hard for you to do. Trust me, they know you aren't feeling well. If they have messy bedrooms, close the doors. I did. It was hard because I'm a perfectionist but it wasn't worth the battle and the pain I would get. My kids are all in their 30's and are neat now. Remember, children are not helpless and they learn how to do things by doing it themselves. It also teaches them that in a family, everyone helps!

I have a very strong faith...a faith in the future. I do look forward to each new day with anticipation. I never wake up and think that it's another lousy day...even though I hurt. I know I can get the pain under control and I want to see what I can accomplish this day! I'm very competitive and am actually competing against fibro and I usually win. If I want to do something and it looks like fibro is standing in the way, I figure out another way around the fibro to do it. Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough.

I don't throw myself a pity party because no one shows up! The only one that is being made REALLY miserable is me! Yes, it can make it so people don't want to be around you and I don't like that aspect of the "party" either. So, I don't do that. It has never helped me and only caused me misery and pain.

Smile!!! Smiling makes me feel so good. I'm sitting here typing this with a smile on my face. I smile while driving....makes people wonder what I've been up to! It has actually become a habit now. I don't even know I'm doing it half the time but it sure gives me a big lift.

It's great that you want to lose weight! I lost 85 pounds six years ago and have kept it off by counting carbs. It was a breeze, didn't have to plan special menus, you can eat what your family eats in moderation, etc. If you are interested, email me. (Any member can.) My address is in my profile and I will show you what I did. It is a lifestyle change and that's why I've been able to keep the weight off.

Well, maybe I've outdone Chick in the length department! I hope this will help you some.

SherrineForum Moderator/Fibromyalgia************************God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Thank you Sherrine! The control freak is my own mother. And I have to be very diplomatic about things. It has gotten to the point now that I know what to tell and what to keep to myself. I would love to hear what you did. I will email you. I have cut down on the pity party and have been looking on the bright side of things. It is amazing what your mood and your outlook can do to you! And I am also smiling!Lisa

I really loved my MIL, too. I was diplomatic but she does have to realize you are an adult now. You can and WILL make your own decisions. You and your husband work together to do the best for your home and family. Her job is to love you and your children and enjoy the grandchildren. Let her know that if you need any suggestions or help, she will be the first one you will ask. But ask her to please keep the suggestions to herself unless you have asked for help. She wouldn't have liked someone telling her how to raise her family!

You really can do this nicely. Maybe her nose will be bent out of shape for a little while but she will be fine. Just tell her in love and let her know that she really is important to you and your children. BUT, you want your turn at raising a family.

SherrineForum Moderator/Fibromyalgia************************God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I sing in the car. I have made it a rule in life. Every time I sit in the car I get the radio on and bust out singing. I dont have tented windows so the people who drive around me get a kick from it too.

Lisa, I think it is wonderful that you want to become more fit by losing weight.As the others mentioned exercise is wonderful. Research has repeatedly shown thatregular exercise is one of best things that fibromites can do for themselves.It is so important to be physically active. If you haven't exercised in awhile, startslowly. Walking with the kids is something you could do. I have found walking tohelp so much with giving me more energy. I love to dance too. You could turn onmusic and dance around the living room with your kids. As you move you are burning calories and building muscle. The more muscle you have, the more caloriesyou burn.

Don't focus on the number on the scale. As you lose the weight, you will lose theinches. You could have someone take your picture, measure your bust, waist andhips. Each month re-measure and take another photo...that way you will really seethe differance. Another thing that helps is keeping a food log. I did that and I wasreally shocked to see how much I consumed in one day. Yes you write down every-thing... the handful of M&M's ...the 3 potato chips... everything. Writing it all downdoes show you where you can cut the calories. I also wrote down the time of dayI was eating and a comment why I was eating. The most important thing is thinkingand believing you will reach your goal and obtain a healthier lifestyle.Good luck to you and best wishes!

Where do you get realation tapes? I used to have one like 15 years ago and I loved it.Cymbalta,tramadol,tylonol 4, nexium,verapamil,325 mils of asprin,multi vit,duloxetine hcl,vit D,vit b-6, and simvastatin