Don’t suck at sucking: A how-to guide

I’ve written a few articles that were primarily for the ladies, so dudes, this one’s for you! I’m talking sticking your dick in someone’s mouth. Blowjobs, hell yeah.

Before getting into this blowjob business, first things first: condom or no condom? I’m always going to advocate for condoms, especially when you aren’t 100 per cent sure if everyone is STI-free.

You are less likely to get an STI from oral, but the risk is still there, so some sort of barrier method is necessary. Keep in mind that the condom only protects what it covers, so be careful not to exchange fluids.

Many will complain that condoms prevent them from feeling much at all, and give the blowjob a what’s-the-point feel, but hey, a blowjob with a condom is better than no blowjob at all.

Remember to communicate with the person who is very kind- ly sucking your dick. They can’t know what you like, or might not have a lot of experience in this area, so giving them some guid- ance as to what feels good is appreciated.

Also maybe give that area a trim beforehand?

To those doing the giving, hopefully you’ll be getting some of that aforementioned guidance. There are a few things that are a fairly safe bet when it comes to giving head.

A dry mouth is rarely invited to a blowjob party, so muster up some saliva, or drink some water before you go down there. If you’ve watched porn, you’re probably envisioning a dick soaked with saliva and the giver’s mouth looking about the same. That’s not necessary, but if you’re both into it, go for it.

Another thing you’ll see a lot in porn is the receiver grabbing the giver’s head and forcing their dick in further into the giver’s mouth/throat. This is definitely an “ask first” situation. Many people don’t like being made to gag on cock, so get permission, mkay?

For the most part, try to keep your teeth out of the whole situation. Just to spell it out for you, the penis is sensitive and if you accidentally bite down, it’s going to hurt.

It’s important to remember to show the receiver how stoked you are about the blowjob. If you’re treating the blowjob like you’re doing this guy a favour or like it’s a chore it’s not going to be very enjoyable for anyone involved.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, then sure, not every blowjob is going to be earth shattering, but if you can’t give some enthusiasm, maybe move on to another sexual activity.

You can still talk dirty while giving head. Just pause for a second (you might need to rest your jaw anyway) and say some- thing about perhaps how good his dick tastes, or how big his dick is, or how perfect it is — anything positive about his dick should work.

What is it that you like about his dick? Let him know.

When sucking, you can start slow and build up to a faster speed. Go as far down the shaft as you’re comfortable with do- ing. Most of the sensitivity is in the head of the penis though, so give it a lot of attention as well. Lick it, flick your tongue against it and swirl your tongue around the head.

Mix it up on the lead-up but once the receiver is getting closer to climax the repetitive back- and-forth motion will help them reach the finish line.

Blowjobs often end with finish- ing in the giver’s mouth. Spit or swallow? It’s up to you, but it is already in your mouth, might as well just knock it back. Beware of possible digestive discomfort if we’re talking about a high volume of liquid.

If you are very opposed to swallowing though, go for the spit. Just don’t look disgusted. Maybe get him to finish on your chest or face or somewhere, so that the finish feels erotic rather than consisting of you running off to the bathroom to spit.

And remember, if someone is down to suck on your dick for a bit, it’s always polite to reciprocate.

Read how memory in testimonies have been questioned and criticized in the past, and the psychological explanation behind it all in the third and final article of our Aftermath series ... See MoreSee Less