Bedford's Danny Oates 5K: Running in remembrance

By Sam Perkinssperkins@wickedlocal.com

Tuesday

Sep 16, 2014 at 4:43 PMSep 17, 2014 at 2:19 PM

For most, the starting gun of the Danny Oates Memorial 5k road race signals the beginning of Bedford Day and a good way to give back to the community and support local students.But for Brian Oates, whose younger brother the race is in honor of, along with his family and several of the senior members of the Bedford Fire Department, the race, now in its 20th year, is about not forgetting."It just keeps the memory alive of him," said Oates quietly, "I miss him.""As time goes on, people start to forget the reason why we do things," said Bedford Fire Chief David Grunes. "This race is run for the son of one of our firefighters, and it’s about such a great loss, and an event that really hit this company really hard."On July 3, the summer before he was going to enter the seventh grade, Oates’ younger brother Danny, at just 4 years old, drowned. Responding on the other end of the call was Oates’ father Bob, along with other firefighters. According to Bedford Fire Chief David Grunes, who served on the department alongside the elder Oates, it was a day that changed the department."It’s one of those things that people don’t really realize for the firefighters who serve the community they live in: That some of these calls hit really close to home," Grunes said. "And there was never a call closer to the department than that one; it was devastating."Now 35, with two young daughters of his own, Oates still tears up when speaking about his brother, and can still vividly remember the aftermath."We just," he began, before trailing off. "Stayed together. I remember after, we have a big family room, and everyone slept on the floors, as one, we stayed together. We did that for quite a while, so everyone was together."The family also was determined to bring some good out of such a heartbreaking loss."When there is a tragedy you want to try and get better from it," he said.In lieu of flowers, the Oates family asked that mourners make a monetary donation. That donation was used to purchase the first defibrillator for the Bedford Fire Department."D-fibs weren’t commonplace back then," said Oates.After a few more years went by, Paul O’Brien, a Bedford Police officer, avid runner, and fellow member of the local Masons chapter along with Bob Oates, suggested a 5K road race in Danny’s honor, and the Danny Oates 5K was born. All proceeds from the race go to scholarships in Danny Oates’ honor, which benefit local high school graduates. In the race’s first year, the race awarded one $500 scholarship. Two decades later, the race has surpassed $100,000 in scholarships to local students."Out of that tragedy a lot of good things came," said Oates.Oates’ own passion to follow his father, who served on the department for 28 years before retiring, as a firefighter was also cemented in the aftermath of his brother’s death."My dad and just the camaraderie of all the guys at the department after what happened with my brother," Oates explained. "The whole brotherhood with other departments helping out. Everyone came together to help out and that really made me want to follow my dad and try to help other people out."Time has allowed Oates to open up about his brother and the loss the family suffered. "It’s better to talk about it than to keep it in, and talking about him keeps a part of him alive."However, there are some wounds that, no matter how much time passes, will never fully heal."Certain things will always trigger emotions," he explained. "Little trigger things always make me think about him."But according to Oates, his brother is always with him."My wife and I got married five years ago. We got married in our backyard here in Bedford, and we had a tropical storm and it was tropical storm Danny, so he was at the wedding," said a smiling Oates.The 20th Danny Oates Memorial 5K road race will be held on Saturday morning at the John Glenn Middle School, 99 McMahon Road. The cost to run is $20 pre-registration, $25 the day of and a special $5 registration for active military. Registration opens at 7:30 a.m. and the race begins at 8:30. All proceeds go to the Danny Oates Memorial scholarship.*Editor's Note: An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated that Bedford Fire Chief David Grunes responded to the call of Danny Oates' drowning. Grunes responded to a similar call a year later.Follow the Bedford Minuteman and editor Sam Perkins on Twitter at @Bedfordminutema.