Part Three of "Of Monotremes and Men". Thanks to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's bumbling Perry the Platypus is now Perry the Person. How far is Perry willing to go to back to what he was? And how will he deal with his new-found feelings for a certain teenage girl? ON HIATUS UNTIL TIME TRAVEL TANGLE IS TERMINATED

It was a beautiful January morning in Danville. The air was crisp and clear, the snow that had fallen the previous evening was a pure blanket of white over everything, and being Saturday, everyone was free to go out and play in it.

Everyone except Candace Flynn. She had only one plan: to bust her brothers.

This time, however, she decided to recruit the aid of someone with enough wits and experience to make it actually happen.

She went looking for Perry.

He wasn't anywhere in the house. Acting on an educated guess, Candace opened a small panel on the wall next to the refrigerator and typed in a code. The refrigerator slid forward, revealing a secret elevator behind it. She stepped in and pressed the lower of the two buttons on the inside panel. The refrigerator slid back into place silently.

After a few moments the elevator opened again, revealing a large room dominated by a workstation with a giant screen. There was a very modern-style chair in front of it, and slumped on the red upholstery was the young man Candace sought.

He was channel surfing, pausing every so often to brush his shoulder-length hair – teal with a pure-white streak in it – out of his oval brown eyes. His square jaw was set, and his straight nose flared every now and again as something on the screen amused or annoyed him.

With Perry it was sometimes hard to tell which was which, since he so rarely smiled. That made him all the more interesting to the neighborhood girls. Especially the rank and file of Fireside Girl Troop 46321.

Ever since Dr. Doofenshmirtz had deliberately destroyed the last existing People-Matic, Perry had been in a funk. He was human for good, and he was still having problems dealing with that fact. He also had trouble with the other situations that had come along with it.

His "sister" Terry – a flawed copy of Perry's mind implanted in a purpose-created human chassis – had actually gone over to his nemesis' side. It made Perry question his own mental stability. Worse, Doof had taken in as foster son Peter the (former) Panda, now a boy of twelve. From the look of things, the kid would be Peter Doofenshmirtz before summer rolled around again.

Amazingly, Lawrence and Linda had taken the revelation of his double life – and this new existence of his – in stride. He had been welcome into the Flynn-Fletcher household as practically another son, without question. To those not in the know he was simply Ferb's older half-brother who had come to attend college in Danville.

The teal hair certainly helped the story along.

Perry actually had enrolled in Danville Community College and would be working on a Criminology degree. He was determined to earn his keep, should the Agency ever renege on their deal with Dr. Doofenshmirtz and fire Perry. The events of the last few months had certainly made that scenario plausible.

The term had yet to start, though. Since Terry and Doofenshmirtz were currently honeymooning in Jamaica, there was nothing much for Perry to do; not until they got back and started on their plans to take over the Tri-State Area, anyway.

Candace had just the thing to keep him busy.

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

"Hi, Candace."

His voice was on the higher end of baritone. It amused Candace no end that tall men like Dr. Doofenshmirtz tended to be in the tenor range, while shorter men like the five-foot-eight Perry usually had deeper voices.

The problem was figuring himself out. He'd only been human for a couple of months, and it was all very confusing. Having been momentarily fused with his pseudo-twin had made the human condition only slightly less perplexing. Her mind had fought to keep its individuality from his – and succeeded with a minimum of memory spillover.

What had managed to spill over tended to gross Perry out, especially Terry's memories of kissing Heinz. She might have enjoyed it, but to the platypus-turned-young man who was her former self, the very concept of kissing someone that way was repellent.

The thought of kissing Doofenshmirtz – even by proxy – made Perry want to puke.

He managed to repress the foreign memories and replied to Candace's question without taking his eyes off the screen he was no longer really watching. "Not a whole lot... you need something?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. The boys are up to something and I want you to help me bust them!"

Just as Perry had expected. "Do you even know what they're doing today?"

"It doesn't matter what exactly it is they're doing, it's going to be something over-the-top, as usual!"

"You know, Candace, as long as they're not trying to get me into another ridiculous circus outfit, I don't much care what Phineas and Ferb are up to today."

"But you have to help me! It's the only way I can prove to Mom what they're up to!"

Perry rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. "If I go with you and they're not doing anything I consider a bustable offense, will you settle down for the day?"

She clapped her hands in glee. "Yay! Thank you, Perry!" She wrapped her arms around him and planted a kiss on his cheekbone. "I knew I could count on you!"

Candace had warmed up to Perry considerably after he had become human. He figured her improved attitude toward him was because he wasn't a "gross, smelly platypus" any more. That was fine by him. It had made his new life easier, when he though about it; he doubted he could have been able to cope without the support and care of the entire family.

What Perry couldn't understand was why Candace's affection suddenly made him feel like something was fluttering inside him, right where his solar plexus was. Her kisses would probably taste like strawberry drops... and what on God's green Earth had made that thought come to his mind?

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.