Unlimited streaming porn coming to Wii U

If you know the name “SugarDVD” it’s for one of two reasons: Either you work in the work in the porn industry or you remember the company as the people who made the first blatantly pornographic applications for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. See, SugarDVD’s scheme is very simple: Much like any number of online porn sites, users are asked to pay a $7.95 monthly subscription fee, and in turn are offered access to SugarDVD’s immense library of high-definition pornographic films. The key difference here is that instead of pulling up SugarDVD’s website on your laptop, the company’s applications allow you to pull down all your smut directly through your favorite console.

“But my favorite console is the Wii U! Why doesn’t it offer pornography too?” you’re undoubtedly shouting, and you’re correct. At the moment the Wii U does not feature a SugarDVD app, but that should be changing shortly. Speaking to Complex, the company has revealed that it is currently hard at work on a Wii U app. There’s no official release date for the app just yet, but given the company’s experience at building this kind of thing it shouldn’t take too long.

The real question here is how Nintendo will take this news. The company has been moving away from its kids-only reputation at a glacial pace, but we just can’t see Nintendo president Satoru Iwata smiling to himself and thinking that the one element missing from his company’s latest console is hardcore pornography. Microsoft and Sony are largely hands-off with really hardcore censorship, but Nintendo may well see this app as a huge threat to its public mindshare. The company might even sue to keep the app from the market.

Beyond that though, we’re wondering who exactly might want to use their Wii U as a porn appliance. If you own a Wii U, we’re going to assume you own some other sort of computing device capable of pulling up a web browser and in that case, you have access to quite literally unending archives of nudie pictures, movies and anything else your perverted little mind might desire. As far as pornography is concerned, we live in a post-scarcity society, so who exactly is going to spend nearly $8 a month to watch people have at it via the same console they use to play the latest Mario Bros. sequel.

Then again, if SugarDVD can come up with a really inventive use for the second screen on the GamePad, we might be convinced to give the app a shot.