Life, Leadership and Business

Friday, 25 September 2015

Authenticity

I have had a constant 15 year battle to be true! No, I am
not talking about speaking honestly. I am not even talking about acting in an
honest manner that shows integrity. These things are second nature to me and I
assume that those around me do their work and conduct business in a manner that
promotes honesty and truth. This battle that I have is more personal than
integrity and honesty. This battle is less about truth and more about
congruence. What is congruence? Wikipedia states that congruence is the state
of agreement , or a state achieved by coming together.

I clicked into my ability to inspire and lead people into
connecting with their personal vision and purpose as a young man. I spent my
life assisting people identify and connect to their core passions in a manner
that gave meaning and direction to each of their lives. I designed my own
analysis instruments to assist people to uncover how they think, learn and
relate. I designed tools to help individuals cope, stretch and achieve. My
God-given mission was to be a tea spoon. I was designed to stir and mix
potential, passion and capacity in a way that the person could no longer
contain it in mediocrity, having them explode into their personal greatness.

Then life happened. A series of unfortunate events occurred,
that were beyond my control, and caused me to lose faith in myself and in
humanity. I shunned public interest. I quit raking in money, as wealth draws
attention. I lost the majority of relationships I deemed as essential at that
time. I quickly turned into a hermit, seeking solace and security in my own
home. I found a life partner that shunned the crowd's attention and moved to a
beat of her own making. We lived in obscurity for 15 years, living just above
the bread line, but more importantly - below the radar. I worked for myself,
creating my own income and work conditions. It was however a mere speck in
comparison to the lifestyle and income I had earned living my calling.

During this period I battled to ignore the call to be me. If
the conversation ventured near my favourite subjects, I would quickly take over
the conversation with passion and information. People often commented that I
should become a trainer or a self development coach, little did they know. It wasn't
easy trying to live in the shadow of who I was (am). In fact, it was quite
painful. The pain was reflected through my impatience of the loved ones that
surrounded me. I had a low tolerance for fools. Arrogance made me develop
unrealistic expectations of my partner. She eventually got sick of my grumpy,
complaining self, and left me. Rightly so.

For the second time in my life I felt like I had been
deserted, rejected by mankind. This time, however, it had more to do with my
own behaviour than uncontrollable circumstances. My bad attitude towards life
and myself caused me to lose the love of my life. I had pushed the most
important people in my life away. I can't tell you how much that stings. I take
responsibility for making the person I loved, more than life itself; turn
against me, wanting nothing but distance between us. She went, taking our
child, my pride and joy with her.

Sounds like the end of the story is close, doesn't it? Well,
it is the end of the story of my life with her. She went on to find happiness
and recently married. For me, it was a wake-up call. A call to evaluate, engage
and become the person I intended. I had to have a long, hard look at myself. I
discovered that I was incongruent with who I was on the inside. I was not
living the "true" me. You probably figured that already in the short
time you have been reading, but it took me 18 months to figure that a large
part of my life was lived half cocked,disengaged.

Today I strive to have my behaviour, actions and
relationships more congruent with who I am on the inside. Reflecting who I
really am through my behaviour is a daily battle. There is a lot of pressure to
conform to society's norms and standards. I have realised that I play down my potential,
my capacity in order to "slot in" with those around me. I have owned
and declared sins and weaknesses that in truth had no hold on me, so that I
could fit in with the surrounding life average and expectations.

I attended a course hosted by Angela James on the second
last weekend of September 2015 (Read my testimonial on her site here). On this course I met a word - Authenticity! Authenticity concerns the truthfulness of origins, attributes,
commitments, sincerity, devotion, and intentions. (As defined by Wikipedia). I
am now on a mission to align behaviour and actions to my internal values,
beliefs and considerations. I have taught values and beliefs for over 25 years.
It's time I connect to them and live them in a real and personal way.

I intend to
achieve this congruence by exercising the following:

1. Self Evaluation: Evaluate my personal Roles and Values.
This I will do through my own instruments that I have developed a long time ago
(I will share with you too, if you like) and some that have been developed by
others for the purpose of self reflection. I will also evaluate how well my
actions and behaviours communicate these values and roles.

2. Vision: My job is to be a tea spoon. My vision is to stir
as many people as I possibly can, to align themselves with Roles, Values and
Purpose. The roles that I have, the values that I hold as true are geared to
take me towards this vision and to be extraordinary in my mission. Once you
have evaluated your roles and values, ponder what direction these
could/would/have taken you in life. This could be your vision. After all,
everything is for a reason, right?

3. Authenticity: Daily I check that I am true to who I am,
in what I say, in what I do. I ask: Am I being true to who I am? If so,
AWESOME! If not, I align myself so that my roles, values and behaviour are
congruent, in agreement.

4. Let Life Happen: I am no longer going to fight off and
protest to what my vision has install for me. I embrace it, fully owning it,
and growing in humble pride. (Lol, I know!). I will not run from who I am, I
will not disown what I am capable of, I will not shy away from the greatness
that is within.

This is the path I chose at the start of my adult life. I
lost it along the way. Happily, I have reconnected to who I really am. I invite
you to join me, not in viewing my engagement, but engaging in your own
authentic self, clicking into your own greatness and purpose. Please, join me in
connecting to our greatest potential - making a difference!

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About Me

I am here to stir the potential that is in you! I want you to engage in the rich wealth of happiness, success, health and wisdom that lies no more than a little skin deep. It's in you. Connect with me, to learn how to connect with all that you are and all that you have.