Friday, April 23, 2010

last night baby refused to play any games, but watching animation online. later he got heat. i hold him watching movie "Alice in wonderland" before slept earlier. i postpone to buy trains ticket in the night, but sorted stuff from web&backup to dvds. in the night i again slept&lost in lengthy dreams. this morning the grandma came over to attend baby at home. i got my tickets for hometown journey from the railway station box office around 9am. i will left Qiqihar, the city i never like, on Apr 28th, 2010, and arrive my hometown village on the last day of April if nothing disturbing in the journey.

this again a brilliant morning. i stayed in office for the last work day in the week. i saw bliss of God, as well as of my girl zhou, for whom i searched via cyberspace for so many years, with whom we will at least have a twin babies in coming years that soon, and who follows me the best. God, sees my love for u, for ur Heaven, for my beloved, my passed dad, my baby son in growth, Masheng the Japanese Crowned Queen of mine, my girls that's praying for our reunion in their prime time.God, save me from eagerness for my new life ahead, like the marvelous booming summer season in my hometown, central China!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

lingered in office while impatient for action of hometown journey. the company, QRRS, tried to block my plan to equip baby son a new dell notebook for his games while his dad absent from him, by defying withdrawing in advance atop the rich&meaningful travel while i penniless now, likely retreated from the promise i gained in my first contact with a high rank of the company. dog system of China surveillance tried to ruin my joy of the journey, but they doomed to fail.

hopefully i will launch in the last day of April, as scheduled&granted by God. God, let me leaving with my acer notebook, and baby equipped with his new toy, a dell Studio 思跃™ 14 (Studio14D-158), a best gift from baby's American pre-engaged.

hope baby staying a happy life with all relaxation and business after the department while i enjoy sunburn in my hometown, central China. God, grant the glory and elation we deserve in this brave leaping operation.

yesterday, God let me prepared to return to my hometown. now preparing working environment for baby's gaming&entertainment, by buying a new dell notebook. i will stay till the working environment working for baby, then i start my hometown journey, the second since recent years.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

19/4/2010

a gloomy day with heartbreaking love&pardon.^those days i slept sound. after visited office later than 8am, got know by chat with baby's mom, emakingir, online, that baby cried in the morning, don't want to join the kindergarten. ema likely weeps online. my heart fulfilled with sorry and loving. the weather also reminded me unfavorable, so i left office to visit baby son. the kindergarten quite near my office, a tour on foot for less than 10 minutes. i doubting if dog, ie. porter will blocked me, for in China dog or cops dominating all fields. but God lets me direct walked to the classroom baby members. the teacher received me with smile, and asked who i m. i told her i m the father. as soon as caught sight of baby, i kneed a leg and squadded to talk with baby. i talked him how his parents love him, and urged him happy time should arrives in sequence, in our anticipation with patience. baby nodded when i affirmed him. i kiss his cheek&left with his consent. in office i roamed for about an hour, reviewing love in my family, between Son&God. then most of the day enjoying reading and web assets hunting. in the restaurant, some trifle people, likely some were my once colleagues, babbled about Internet and China censorship. returned to dorm, i sorted stuff awhile, then again reviewed love of Holy between baby and me, in music lately after 11pm. when i returned from lavatory&prepared to sleep, the kitty in the dorm visited me and ask for food. i went to the grocer within the dorms area&bought it 2 sausage, fed it with a small one. the roommate of its owner, a grey man i referred in previous blog, went to buy ready food&found us. i let him take away the kitty with the remnant of the sausage. its really not bad to feed a animal friend. now its a bright morning, with crisp breeze and brilliant sunshine. when i got up i found some queues on the ground, with a lecturing man. likely they r senior collegians taking practice here in the factory. God, time sliding, where is my beloved?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

18/4/2010

visit baby son yesterday.^yesterday is a bright day. when i arrived, baby son watching animation online. God let me doubt if i should buy him his favorite food first, but i didn't, except a capsule of dry beef i bought last day. then i launched to backup my stuff to dvds via my Acer notebook left to baby's mom to use those months, restored the os from backup. the grandma soon arrived, cooked us 2 meat dishes: a chicken with mushroom, a fish. the noise of her cutting the chicken let baby uncomfortable, and he asked his mom and me to care him by sat around him. after lunch, with which i quite enjoyed while baby ate less, baby was brought outside by his mom for sunburn, while i busy with installing all new games on the notebook, after trying to restore its previous personal settings. baby slept on way near his mom's home, i was asked to fetch them, met them when baby dozed on his mom's back. after shown ema some stuff, ie. cliparts and templates, for her courseware, and educational multimedia for baby son, i went to public bathroom, where i showered&haircut. bought baby son icecream. baby enjoyed it at once after i returned there. then shown baby newly installed games. baby partially attracted&tried some with my companion. the devil, the grandma, likely maltreated baby son with rudeness and sins, so when i talked about God, baby shown impatience, and reluctant to game on the digital virtual land i trust a lot. God, u know what i want to pray, never let baby son erode by meaningless boring nor too much wasted time among human that's meaningless.

baby's mom, emakingir, likely enchanted by the rich materials i prepared for her work. she let me replace my worn winter coat, later pants before i left, both never washed for the whole winter for i had no enough clothes to rotate, with in season suite. when i left, i forgot my under clothing left after shower. in the night the demons in neighbor room in QRRS dorms shown me their hatred when i went to lavatory to fetch boiled water. their sins more and more in my view.

its a pale day so far. the canteen of QRRS dorms, resumed into service after a month and more time to refurnish. but likely not so many residents in the dorms were attracted. i visited office after some doubts in the dorm room. now i will enjoy surfing as time glides. God, u save.

benzrad's tweet on Apr 16,2010

most of the morning sunny. enjoy flying with breeze online, by keeping gains from web resource. time to still the moment that's rich in the world. God saves me from aggressive hunting in the realm. i love staying with the intelligent properties so much. save me from danger, God. i surely abide self-restraint. let me fly and forget myself awhile! i enjoy the flood of freedom. - yesterday last night busy with trying new games till 11pm, prepared for baby son in next visit. i also determined trying my best to game more in my own leisure time. its now a sunny morning, after yesterday's brilliance. God, save me in balance of resources hunting and enjoyment with the fruits of collecting&cultivating. i want less nerd and more persistent hero of life's truth, public and private. now let me submerging into stuff and news world again.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

harness rich media for family entertainment.^a cloudy day. busy with rich resource on web. dash and rush for store of plays. God, save me from obsessing with those stuff i reckon valuable and hold dear. i know u grant my hobby on it.

this late afternoon u let me meet up my baby son, God of Universe, Hope of China, u let me not to eat steam bun any more, u let me doubting what is wrong in my recent life. i m a bit in puzzle. God, i know the life of ur son can't be more glorious, i know any moment i molding history with my deed and choice. God, let me in ur love, in ur shine, in ur consistent joys, let my beloved closer to me, to my new life in growing the Royal of China.

God, i trust u. promise me forever covering me with Spirit!

below is benzrad's web comments on Apr 14, 2010, lunar first day of March.

the world aphasia upon sinful challenge.

Re: http://amplify.com/u/4ijh @shaor3 yes, world steadily steers into total war between religions. "smart people" just half-close their eyes upon the International dumbfound and mute upon the mutation and persistent evil challenge.

all after all, God saves. the sin's brewing, its rise and fall, wax and wane, all in God's setting. the land's residents can change, but the title of God never changes.

on war by muslim.

Benzrad Zhu Re: http://amplify.com/u/4ijp @shaor3 new forms of threats. war of security never stops, but changes forms. however, human history don't stopped by a single threat just for its alien harmful at cost of helpful.

yes, world steadily steers into total war between religions. "smart people" just half-close their eyes upon the International dumbfound and mute upon the mutation and persistent evil challenge.all after all, God saves. the sin's brewing, its rise and fall, wax and wane, all in God's setting. the land's residents can change, but the title of God never changes.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

13/4/2010

a windy morning but now sunny.^yesterday can called a accomplishment. my work style should prolonging it: blog, clog, plog with people sharing common interests. last night in office, i first time tried screenshot warez to demo baby's mom, emakingir, some powerpoint skill, before i left to dorm. when i informed her the file sent to her email box, she said baby was gaming on her notebook so she can't check it right now. i felt so glad to know that baby, who shown reluctance those days in the threatening of hot competition among Chinese youth even in childhood just for a securer advantage in the rat's race of burning&smashing social pot, enjoyed pc games alone, that i buzzed in later than 9pm. but baby was a bit confused by my query which game he played. so it turns clear that his mom likely lied to me in the claim that baby gaming. she always insecure upon her job, a middle school teacher, which is dirty and inferior equality among China education nowadays. she frequently hates anyone attempts to teach, the profession she still making a living with quite some gray incomes, with her barking at corner. i called back later than 10pm to inform her guilty of lying, and baby's, too. i felt an urgency to tell baby his mom is insane, just the same of his mom's mother, the grandma, in family name Ruan 阮. i then envisaged the source of being guilty, the Holy's pure sanity, his love to let people step out of their guilty or dark in just a repent to God, rid of harms of self-destructive and abuse of evil, and the ruined balance in their shabby lives by evil's don't gave up their lingering assault on human soul. i appeal for God's mighty to rid baby son any of sin, praying God to let me do at once over the need. praying that i never had to cram with any anxiousness to correct something, but anytime in Spirit and done in flicker of the thought's invite. i rest in love of God, and slept after 11pm. in the dawn, i was woke up by pains in stomachs. its the second time. i went to lavatory and shit, then resumed my dream on bed. i dreamed of all my brothers in my hometown. its a strong windy weather when i went to office, God let me shot a movie of the wind. after i settled in office and prepared posting, it turns bright sunny. God, saves me in Joice, in astonish of gift u present me. bring my girl zhou, my 3rd wife and crowned Queen of China, with my 2rd marriage. bring me closer to my 2nd wife, Masheng, my Japanese Crowned Queen, and our first son, my 2nd son, yearning for birth. bring me my most satisfied wife, my Taiwanese bride, to prepared our first son, my 3rd son, in my Royal. that's the brilliant today's meaning. God, u see.

for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.abirds' meeting on top of trees.喜鹊跃高枝，齐车好出处.birds' gathering, within QRRS factory area, with an abstract touch.齐车厂院聚喜鹊。

Monday, April 12, 2010

its a gloomy day today. now its eventually snows. i enjoy this first work day in a week as usual, with rich download and reading stuff. life can be more meaningful if i can keep myself on track of world affair after covering my personal affairs. i love to the world of my God, my passed dad, my baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, my Japanese Queen in crown, turning clearer and clearer in this long and exhausting tunnel of isolation and deprivation. i never lack of Holy message, and strength of self-reliance, but i do need entertain of communications, esp. from the another half of mine God grants. God, bring me to my new stage sooner, in this blessing moment! like Masheng's forever serene and beautiful face.

the point quite strong, and the voice of urgency quite loud. but how many people reflect on their life that in other's hands is dubious. human tend to be docile, and that's seduce to dictator all around in human history.

worst of worst, after all, God saves. so we shouldn't trust human, but the universal shine of God.

without doctrine above, i would in dark of human silliness nights and days. but since i broke heart for a hopeless love, i committed to the Holy that's universal accessible and wise than any smartest mind. God created the universe and don't let human poison his lives in anxiousness nor cautiousness.

Re: http://amplify.com/u/4g15 @awolk yes, after the golden years of freedom online shared among those respectable pioneers, now time to deprive the less gifted offspring of the leading people the same amount or level of freedom. the earth also endangered with no constrains upon unlimited development in time-space spans human inherit from God.

universal law's ruling, likely need reinforce from basic living support, as well as life assurance, in countries less developed, esp. those fight for a living with risk of life. Chinese society now deeply threatened by mafia, whose activities turns more frequent upon worsen economics and bankrupt political structure nowadays. when people trust their fairness upon law system maintained by their government, they less need dog, no matter dog system like police and bureaucracy, nor personal dark soul hunting for preys.

the idea is thoughtful. sense of equality born with human, but right time to be lightened in God's shine that God's chosen differs from the sinful. love is universal but sins cages quite some group of inhabitant on the earth. God chooses democracy on the earth, and human liable to abide the common welfare and rules.

George Orwell once noted that the "thing that attracts ordinary men to Socialism and makes them willing to risk their skins for it, the 'mystique' of Socialism, is the idea of equality." This is still the case. It is the growing inequality in and between societies that generates so many social pathologies. Grotesquely unequal societies are also unstable societies. They generate internal division and, sooner or later, internal strife – usually with undemocratic outcomes. As citizens of a free society, we have a duty to look critically at our world. But that is not enough. If we think we know what is wrong, we must act on that knowledge. Philosophers, it was famously observed, have hitherto only interpreted the world in various ways; the point is to change it.

the point quite strong, and the voice of urgency quite loud. but how many people reflect on their life that in other's hands is dubious. human tend to be docile, and that's seduce to dictator all around in human history.worst of worst, God saves. so we shouldn't trust human, but the universal shine of God.without doctrine above, i would in dark of human silliness nights and days. but since i broke heart for a hopeless love, i committed to the Holy that's universal accessible and wise than any smartest mind.

universal law's ruling, likely need reinforce from basic living support, as well as life assurance, in countries less developed, esp. those fight for a living with risk of life. Chinese society now deeply threatened by mafia, whose activities turns more frequent upon worsen economics and bankrupt political structure nowadays. when people trust their fairness upon law system maintained by their government, they less need dog, no matter dog system like police and bureaucracy, nor personal dark soul hunting for preys.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

11/4/2010

a day for gaming with baby.^yesterday played pc games with baby since 9am to 4pm. when i arrived, baby was playing on his own. after backup web stuff&installed new games on pcs, we launched to try new games. obviously baby preferred small and cartoon games. his mom, emakingir, cooked us fried beef&rice as lunch. i bought baby some ice cream on way, baby enjoyed a cup of chocolate ice cream most of the time. when i left, God lets me take a taxi, and not to eat dinner in the day. in the night in dorm, when i listening music, and clapped when in high mood, gays in neighbor room stroke the thin wall to show animosity. dogs' prepared to humiliate the glory. this morning is a sunny morning, the sunshine warm and mild. i ate a bowl of noodle before visit office. last night the miserable kitty visit me again, i fed it with sausage i bought for it several days ago. it ate more than last time. it tried to linger in my room, but i can't raise a pet, so i shift the remnant of the sausage to its likely owner, then it followed me and left my room. the owner's room was locked, but when i met the owner, a young QRRSer, in lavatory, i got it that he still caring the cat. God, let me enjoy everyday and everything in ur kingdom on the earth.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

a new sunny morning brings fresh hope. last night baby's mom, emakingir shown despise&slight over me when i tried to talk to baby son online. she is a kind of dog, too, no way to spill her sick ill of being abused by the dominating dog system in China mainland, and a heart of hurting&hurt, spreads scapegoat. i was also reminded again how far different we r, and the glory of Son which no one can compare to or with. Son simply right on everything, while sins forever from the start accompany human.

this afternoon, God rids me off the financial curiousness. met baby son, who just left the kindergarten with his grandma fetching him these months, on the bus stop. sent him to a taxi and too harsh to discuss new games i collected for him in this work week. contacted him online, but he rebuffed my suggestion to visit him in this weekends. its all time a bright day. i retreated to dorm near 2pm when tomb chill thick in office, sorted stuff in dorm, and enjoy sunshine from window. in office checked google search result of family names, posting this blog entry for the opening of baby son's real name blog at wordpress.com, so mighty a blog portal, at http://zhucj.wordpress.com . God, i now fearless and enjoy the life in ur setting.

Re: http://bit.ly/ds2tR3 @merriemarie strong holder of ur point. as to satellite dish, in my latest visit to my hometown village, a mountain village in Hubei Prov, central China, found satellite TV's signal so clear that can challenge cable TV. but what's disappointing, China authority banned free buy of the dish for national censorship, and bargains with its official HD channel's selling out by data encrypted. i really felt satellite TV is a cheap and working solution for distant or mountain area where cable TV first level investment amounts rocky.

Re: http://bit.ly/dcDHoN @merriemarie likely the rule out is far-reaching effect. i do see the rationale in large scale's sharing: for quites resource of human achievements, if not locked under Intelligent property law's protection against the poor, human as a total can be enriched by the share, with which knowledge spreads and constructive effects nurtured.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

4/5/2010

a day without regret.^yesterday lingered in baby's mom's house from 9am to 4pm. when i arrived, baby was at home. for last night's heavy snow deterred baby in his grandma's house, while his mom, emakingir returned first with her bike. i busy with backup dvds, installed games for baby. when baby returned and asked me, i almost prepared him a working gaming environment. for this visit is the most time of free, so i tried a game, "Destruction Simulator 2010", with baby son, who also attracted by the game. later i help his mom, emakingir, learn to reuse other powerpoint template from current one, also shown her cliparts and other assets i collected from web for her courseware. the grandma brought baby arrived around 11am, cooked fried beef, then left without my notice. returned to dorm, i dined first, then dozed on bed till 8pm, slept earlier, around 10:30pm. glory of Son, that's never anything can compare with on the planet.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

4/4/2010

second bright sunshine after a clueless night.^yesterday i lingered in office from 10am to 4pm, and enjoyed my works of the day. dinner was meat pies and noodle. buzzed baby's mom, who once terrified by my penniless&attempted to narrow her risk with my current poor financial status, about my visit to my baby son. she admitted to schedule on next Monday. in the night i lingered near mid night, first time skimmed lyrics of some songs by Hanhong 韩红, Stefanie Sun 孙燕姿，the love stories in it really beautiful. neighbor evils responded for several times. by the time i went to bed, its warm&peaceful. but this morning i was woke up by rain drops on the roof. i got up after 12am, and astonished by the new snow. its thicker than last time, left quite some early birds tracks on the covered ground. its just too beautiful. when i went to lavatory, 2 inhabitant closed their doors loudly to show me their animosity. such a cheap soul in them. and God let me know don't doubting more about the snow, the gift from Masheng, my Japanese Queen in crown, who lingered so long with me in this arid land where i endured for my fortune in new marriage with my beloved girls. day in and day out, i worn to see the bright that's closer and closer. my route to my hometown, which should be a glory in God's title, scheduled urgent and shining more. i miss it so much.Ok, its a lonely moment when i blog here in the empty office. Masheng, when i can pick my new life that's fearless? i saw bliss on ur lips but distance in light a bit too far. save me in shorter journey to my destine or task from heaven here on the planet. maybe i m a bit exhausted now. God sees.

3/4/2010

refinement on family google sites in a bright day.^refined family google sites, including google apps' sites, adjust url remapping. sorted bookmarks&exported to diigo&delicious. a bright day after series of cloudy days.

2/4/2010

proxy working strangely last afternoon. so launched to refine new blogger blogs and google sites. ema came over to send me living expense of ￥300 after work time. i then penniless. this morning arranged to finish many delayed task since the fatally dead China surveillance a month ago, adding group profile onto family posterous blogs. lagged heavily by slow traffic, but narrowly done. it drizzled in early night yesterday, when i left office later than 8pm. in the night it continued to snow and shallowly covered ground with white. now its spring, so it soon melt, just like a miracle. its now pale in sky. praying God pardon me lingering in office all work time in this week. i really have a full load of works. praying God guard my works against spying dog, the China surveillance. visit family new member sites:http://emyark.be21zh.orghttp://amyaak.be21zh.orghttp://emxark.be21zh.orghttp://zhuzz.be21zh.orghttp://zhucj.warozhu.comfor full list of my family web assets, visit here: http://goo.gl/FPtx or http://goo.gl/5ak7 or http://wiki.be21zh.org/zhlinkposted by http://amplify.com/u/3z4u