This past weekend, Iattended Wanderlust in Squaw Valley, Lake Tahoe. It was an amazing weekend that left me reflecting on a lot of different aspects about life.

Self-love and self-care were two things that came up multiple times over the weekend. Whether it was a conversation with a friend or one of the instructors mentioning the importance of both, it seemed to be the biggest theme that resonated with me this weekend.

I thought this would be a great topic to discuss because I think self-care and self-love can get a bad rep, and people don’t focus on it as much as they should.

I want to start off by saying showing up for ourselves should be our first priority. Often, people think that self-love and self-care are “selfish” terms and that showing up for yourself would be a “radical” thing to do. But I want to throw out an idea, just take a minute and let it sink in. If you don’t take care of yourself and show yourself self-love, you are doing the people you care about a disservice. It may sound crazy, but it’s true. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by putting others before yourself all the time; you’re actually doing the opposite.

Let me give you an example so you can try and understand what I mean. Let’s look at mothers. Mothers tend to have a hard time practicing self-care and self-love because they are always so worried about taking care of everyone else. What does that end up doing to mothers? More often then not, moms find themselves feeling stressed out and overwhelmed with how much they have to do. This can lead to grumpiness, unhappiness or even being a bit short tempered.

These feelings can be prevented or even dialed down. How? By putting yourself first and showing up for yourself. I’m here to tell you that practicing self-love and self-care is NOT selfish. It is essential. It is something we have never been taught, but something that is vital to our well-being.

Don’t you want to be the best version of yourself? Don’t you want your friends and loved ones to experience the best version of you? The happiest, healthiest you? Without practicing self-love and self-care, you’re letting people experience a different version of you.

So what can we do to change this? Start putting yourself first. Try to be mindful about how often you put others before yourself. Recognize how often it happens on a daily basis. It can even be simple things. For example, if someone asks me to attend an event, and I already have a lot on my plate, I should decline. That’s practicing self-care. If I say yes because I don’t want to disappoint my friend, I’m putting their feelings first. But what I really should be doing is declining, and spend that time instead to take care of everything that’s already on my plate. That is practicing self-care. So simple, but these things happen to us on a daily basis. Some bigger than others but it’s all about finding that balance.

So take a minute and ask yourself, do you want to be the best version of yourself?