Monday, September 29, 2008

Ask Neville....

Our resident train specialist, Neville Cheestring has started his own advice column at WOP. This first story begins with Milly, 22, a duck from Herpington. This is her story....

''My hubby doesn't treat me nicely at all, he ignores me! Sometimes I wish I hadn't married him. But then one day I met Alfred Womble at the bus stop and now I can't stop thinking about him....''

''Even on the rare occassions he does kiss me and pay me attention, my mind is on Alfred...''

''I am driven to distraction, what can I do Neville?''

Neville Says: 'Well, this is a pickle of a doozy and no mistake. I feel you need to clear the decks with your husband first before even thinking of embarking on another relationship or affair. Alfred clearly is a fantasy, a beacon of light if you will in a loveless marriage. You need to first find out if Alfred feels the same about you before making any decisions. I like collecting cheese labels, do you?'

Neville Says: I've had this once, I was seeing a girl from Huddersfield, so it was the same problem with language. The way I got round this was to learn a few basic words in her tongue like 'Make the tea' and 'This beer is too warm'. I managed to extend the shelf life of our relationship by another 5 days!

One could of course substitute the word with 'Bristols', given the right context... but, thinking about it, could that not also be seen as an insult to those who lend their habitudinal location to the phrase?

the guilty party

things we like

disclaimer bit

Let's make this clear: We're quite excitable. We like silly things, and some things benefit from being a bit sillier than they already are. So when we come accross something we like, we might borrow it to give us a chuckle - action figures, pictures, items of of discarded clothing... that sort of thing. We mean no harm. We're not out to rip anybody off. If we borrow something, well then think of it as flattery. We use our own material where we can (we do have egos after all) so most of what you see originates from the darkest recesses of our warped little minds. But if we do use something made be someone else, we'll give them a plug where possible. Hey, we want to recognise their ... ahem... genius too!