Feeling isolated and lonely can happen in lots of different situations. It may happen when you feel there’s no one you can spend time with or talk to. You can also feel lonely or isolated when you’re around other people, but don’t feel connected to them or when you feel like no one understands you. But, you can have meaningful, fulfilling relationships, so don’t consider yourself a hermit yet. There are things that you can do to prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness. Try expanding your social network, learning to enjoy your time alone, and maintaining the friendships that you have.

Steps

Method1

Expanding Your Social Network

1

Learn something new. You can prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness if you expand your social network. One way to do this is to open yourself and learn a new skill or topic.[1] Taking classes or lessons gives you the opportunity to meet people that you might not meet otherwise. It can also keep you from feeling alone and unconnected to others.

For example, take a foreign language class to expose yourself to different cultures and to interact with other people.

Try something active like a team sport. This will give you the chance to get some physical activity and widen your social circle.

2

Volunteer in your community. This is a way to give back and boost your community as well as support causes you care about. It also helps prevent you from feeling isolated. This is because it gives you the chance to meet people with similar interests and concerns and meet people in your community.[2]

Talk to leaders in the community like your religious leader, coach, or a school counselor about ways that you can volunteer. For example, “You might say, I’d like to volunteer, do you have any suggestions?”

When possible, volunteer to do things that will allow you to interact with other people. For example, instead of volunteering to stuff envelopes, you might volunteer to meet visitors at an event.

3

Ask for an introduction. One way that you can connect with others and prevent feelings of isolation is to ask someone close to you to introduce you to new people.[3] Having a mutual friend introduce you to others can help make meeting people less awkward for you.

For example, you might tell your sister, “When we go to the party tonight, would you mind introducing me to a few people since I won’t know anyone?”

Or for instance, if you are starting a new job you might ask your HR representative or supervisor to introduce you to key people you may need to know.

4

Believe in yourself. In order for you to prevent feelings of isolation and expand your social network, you’ll have to believe that you can meet new people. Believing in yourself will give you the confidence you need to introduce yourself to others and widen your circle of friends.[4]

When you meet new people, remind yourself that you are a great person who is capable of making new friends. Try saying, “I believe that I can meet new people. I don’t have to feel isolated or lonely.”

Make a list of all the reasons someone would want to spend time with you. For example, you might write, “I’m quirky, thoughtful, interesting, and a great listener.”

Give yourself a daily compliment. For instance, when you’re getting dressed in the morning, you could tell yourself, “I’m a great person and I’m going to have a great day with the people around me.”

Method2

Enjoying Time Alone

1

Get to know yourself. There will be times that you can’t be around other people for some reason or another. Perhaps you are sick and don’t want to get others sick or maybe you are spending a weekday at home while everyone else is at school or at work. You can handle these times and prevent feeling isolated or lonely if you use the time as an opportunity to get to know yourself better.[5]

Make a list of all the things you want to do in life. You might surprise yourself by some of the things you want to experience. For example, you may think about it and realize you want to learn fencing.

Spend some time meditating. This is a great way to reduce stress, improve your focus and concentration, and allow you to explore your thoughts and emotions.

2

Develop hobbies. Instead of allowing feelings of isolation and loneliness to overcome you, you can enjoy your time alone by using it to explore and develop some of your hobbies and interests. When you are doing things you enjoy and find interesting, you may be less likely to feel that you aren’t connected to others.

Make a list of hobbies or activities that you have been wanting to try. Include group activities, but also include solo activities like gardening, writing poetry, painting, or blogging.

3

Use tech in moderation. Social networking and other uses of technology can help you prevent feeling isolated and lonely, but logging in all the time can also prevent you from forming true connections with people.[6] Use technology as a way to connect with people and to keep in touch when you can’t see each other in person, but don’t let it become a substitute for face-to-face contact.

For example, joining online groups and forums is a good way to meet other people. Be careful, though, with the information that you share over the internet with people that you don’t know in person.

Instead of emailing or texting your friend, give them a call, do a video conference, or better yet, make plans to spend time together.

Method3

Maintaining Friendships

1

Be the first to make contact. Friendships are a ‘two-way street’. Sometimes your friends will reach out to you first, and sometimes you need to be the one to reach out. Being willing to reach out to others instead of always waiting on someone to reach out to you will help you avoid feeling lonely and isolated.[7] It also lets the people that you care about know that you are thinking about them and want them to be a part of your life.

Call your friends and family members every few days to see how they are doing and what is going on in their life.

Instead of waiting on a friend to ask you to hang out, you might call them and say, “Hey! Do you want to hang out this weekend?

2

Talk openly. One reason that people feel isolated and lonely is because they don’t feel that they have made true connections with other people. You may be surrounded by people, but still feel alone if you don’t think anyone understands you. You can prevent these feelings if you open up and let people get close to you.[8]

Talk about more than superficial things or “small talk” with the people close to you. For instance, don’t just talk with your teammate about the weather and the game.

Share the good things and the bad things that are happening in your life with your friends and family. For example, you might tell your friend, “I feel like we need to connect more. Can I talk about some things going on with me.”

3

Listen actively. Another way to maintain the friendships that you have is to be a good listener when people are talking with you.[9] Actively listening gives you the opportunity to learn more about your friends. It also lets people know that you care about them and what they are talking about. This can make you and them feel more connected and less isolated.

Remove other distractions when you are talking with people close to you so that you can pay attention to the conversation.

Instead of thinking about how you will respond or letting your mind wander, stay focused on what you all are talking about.

4

Recognize when isolation is bullying. Sometimes bullies won’t attack you directly. Instead, they will tell other people to ignore you or leave you out.[10] You can prevent feeling isolated and lonely by addressing this situation as you would any other type of bullying.

Report the bullying to an adult you trust like your teacher, counselor, or coach.

Get support. Turn to any friends that you do have for support and encouragement. For example, you might tell a classmate, “Would you mind walking with me? Sean is kinda making it lonely for me.”