National Rifle Association calls for ban on ‘schools’

After a further mass shootings at a US school, the National Rifle Association has insisted that the only way to prevent further tragedies of this nature is to finally implement a ban ‘schools’.

Yesterday’s shooting at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School left at least 17 people dead and forced the NRA to call for immediate changes to existing legislation.

NRA spokesperson Chuck Williams told reporters, “This is a terrible moment for the United States, and our hearts go out to all of those affected, but now is the time to acknowledge that this senseless act would never have happened if it wasn’t for this so-called ‘school’.

“People will say that an education is an inalienable right of all Americans and that it was core to the vision of this country’s forefathers, but we live in very different times now, and clearly something needs to be done.

“It won’t be popular, and people will obviously resist the change, but in order to protect this nation’s children, it is now the time to finally ban schools.

He went on, “Do you know how many school massacres there are in Chad? None. Do you know why? Because they don’t have an organised secondary school system.

“The evidence is right there in front of us if only people would open their eyes and see it.”

When asked if tighter gun control laws could also have perhaps prevented the Florida school shooting, Williams said such suggestions were simply ‘grasping at straws’.

He went on, “Some people will make knee-jerk assumptions on why this tragic event occurred for political purposes, but I would ask you all not to lose sight of the fact that these children were gathered in a convenient place of learning.

“Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook and now Parkland Florida. Education is at the root of all these tragedies.

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