“The War on Men” – Fox News Reaching a New Level of Out-of-Touch

On November 24th, Suzanne Venker of Fox News posted an opinion article titled “The War on Men.” In it, she advocates for women to ditch every wave of feminism and revert back to the diffident and submissive nature expected of a woman prior to the advances of the last one hundred years. She opens with statistics stating that men desire marriage less than they did in 1997, while women desire marriage more.

Venker dedicates an entire paragraph to explaining that the result of women earning more degrees and working more than ever has “changed the dance between men and women.” I disagree with her statement. While more women are represented in the workforce now compared to numbers of other women in other decades, this has not changed any dances.

Heels in High Places, an informative website detailing the representation of women in corporate positions, is an excellent resource. Although women are working more, they are still underrepresented in higher paying jobs. Of the global companies studied, 60.2% had at least one woman board member. However, only 9.8% had at least three women board members, and only 2.1% had women board chairs.

Venker’s next point follows: “All articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center.” I am not sure how she has gathered this information. Rarely does mainstream media put a woman in the forefront, and when it does, the women are seldom able to function independently or competently. Don’t believe me? I will provide you with a few examples from popular media today.

Skyfall is the current James Bond thriller recently released in theatres. It set records which beat Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 and it is the highest grossing film of 2012, surpassing the profits of The Dark Knight Rises. As such a successful film in American and global theatres, it is somewhat surprising to find that the women in this film are not strong characters whatsoever.

(Warning: Skyfall spoilers in this paragraph) One female lead, Sévérine, is portrayed as confident, but it turns out that her past as a sex slave makes her weak, a past from which only Bond can save her, which includes having sex with in her emotionally vulnerable state. When she is killed, Bond barely bats an eyelash, and she is rarely mentioned throughout the rest of the film. Judi Dench’s character, M, who was very strong, dies and is replaced by a young white male. Bond’s partner, Eve, is mocked throughout the entire film for making one mistake, while Bond repeatedly fails his tests. She eventually retires from the field and takes an office job, despite being a fully capable agent.

The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy has sold more than 25 million copies as of August 2012. These books depict Anastasia Steele as the protagonist, submitting constantly and often against her better judgment to anything her romantic partner Christian Grey tells her to do. He emotionally manipulates her, uses sex as a weapon (literally, this is a quote from the book), and demands her submission in all areas. Not just in the bedroom, but by eating what he tells her to, staying at home and not pursuing a career, and refusing to look at him in the eye so he can assert his dominance over her.

Women may be at the front and center, but they are certainly not often positively portrayed in the media spotlight.

Venker goes on to claim, “Men want to love women, not compete with them.” This entire article reeks of male privilege. Why can’t both men and women work, raise a family, or choose not to raise a family and cooperate with each other? Why should it have to be a competition between the sexes?

Also, not all men want to love women. There are a myriad of genders and sexual orientations that speak to the contrary. Her entire article overgeneralizes the progression of genders and sexual orientation spectrums that have advanced throughout the past few decades. According to the Williams Institute, 3.8% of the population identify as LGBT, which translates to about nine million people. If this number does not seem large, take a look at the 2010 U.S. Census. The closest demographic to the LGBT population comes in at 4.8%, which accounts for the Asian population in the United States. The number of LGBT individuals does not appear so small in comparison.

One of Venker’s most troubling statements comes at the end of her piece: “All they [women] have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity.” No, they do not! This is the 21st century. You may identify as a woman, but that does not mean that you identify with every gender norm that is typically associated with this label. I know plenty of women who cut their hair short, who wear men’s clothes (hell, I do!), and who assert themselves in their careers and romantic pursuits, breaking the tradition of the demure lady.

An author who may help me elucidate my point, Lemony Snicket wrote, “Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.” What Suzanne fails to comprehend is the positive impacts of these societal metamorphoses. Instead of sitting on a window ledge, wishing for the good ol’ days, we should attempt to adapt to these transformations and find a healthy balance. Last time I checked, healthy marriages did not flourish because of surrendering to one’s femininity or masculinity. They blossom when communication is healthy and when both partners are considered equals.

Finally, Venker propounds that feminism comes down to “women good/men bad.” False. As with any movement, there are zealots who take the meaning of the message too far and intimidate or incite others against the cause. Feminism is not a stranger to this phenomenon. I have encountered some radical feminists who do believe that women are better than men. However, like any movement or religion, we are not all this way. Just like every Muslim is not a terrorist, not all feminists are male-bashing bra burners.

Here at Feminspire, I am proud to say that our writers strive to be balanced and inclusive. I have never encountered an article where I thought a woman was bashing a man on the basis of his gender or anyone of any gender or demographic. In addition, feminism is not just for women. Any and all people can embody the ideals of advancing equal rights for women and for humankind.

For years, I shied away from women’s issues and feminism. I steered clear of people I met who perpetuated these issues forcefully. Whenever I did argue a point for women, I would always follow with “but I’m not a feminist.” However, this changed when I opened my mind to actually educating myself about the movement, and not relying on the scant fanatical interactions I had encountered in the past.

Feminism does not grant men “sex at hello,” contrary to a statement perpetuated by Ms. Venker. It aims to create an inclusive environment for women to be valued members of society and as equal partners in relationships.

Feminism is not about overthrowing men and placing women on top. Why would we fight to institute what we detest? Feminism aims at defending the rights of women to become equals with men. Feminism, for me, means women and men will earn equal wages, will be represented equally throughout the workforce, and will be treated with equal respect.

When I was doing research for this article, one of the first links I came across was to a website called mgtowforums.com. This is a forum for men’s rights and Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs), and I do not encourage anyone to go there. While Venker’s writing wasn’t particularly pungent in comparison, it has inspired such comments as, “Women are no longer women, so why the fuck should we even get into a serious relationship with a cheap imitation of a man?” One of the user’s tags is the quote, “I care about rape as much as feminists care about false accusations.”

This is why women need feminism. As soon as we stand up for ourselves, even if it is a mild statement, we are often verbally and sometimes physically harassed. The solution is not to revert back to the formerly standardized gender roles. The solution is to adapt to the transformations and accept that the previously ascribed gender roles are no longer valid.

Ladies, I implore you to fight back against those perpetuating opinions such as Venker’s. If someone tells you to give up the things you love and that make you happy – like your career, your choice of clothing, your way of expressing yourself – in order to entice a marriageable man from “the woodwork,” turn around and walk away. You do not have to change for someone, just as someone else does not have to change for you.

Not long ago, a woman was expected to stay at home, to keep quiet, to look nice for a suitor, and to submit to man’s will. It repulses me when people like Venker proclaim statements such as, “women aren’t women anymore.” They are. We are still women, we have just evolved and changed the definition of what it means to be a woman. This does not mean that we have “won” or that we have switched roles and want to squash men under the soles of our combat boots. The age of the demure young lady has vanished. Just because this used to be how things were, does not mean that how women act now is wrong, or that the traditional ways are right.

If fighting for respect repels others from wanting to marry me, I guess the soundtrack of my life will forever be “Single Ladies.”

What are your thoughts on Suzanne Venker’s “War on Men”? Share with us in the comments below.

Excellent article. Fox News does not have a good track record for writing articles with solid sources, but many people will read Venker’s article without questioning its truth value. Venker can live whatever lifestyle she likes, but solid research is paramount to writing a solid article. Her erroneous generalizations and scientific “facts” (my favorite is her statement about how “They [men] want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA”) sabotage her entire argument.

Also, what exactly does she mean by “All they [women] have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs”? How can she presume to know about my feminine nature? Is it somehow separate from the rest of my personality, the parts that want to travel the world, join the military, and fight for what I believe in? She also does men a disservice by telling them to revert to their primal natures and help lower the status of women.

Ty

We’re all entitled to live the lifestyles we want, it’s just that it seems like the playing field can’t be leveled without forced equality measures that are coming at the expense of men. Women being equal is great, but It’s easy to forget that most of feminism’s success is because of forced equality and birth control. These are definitely things that are female dominated at this point in time and that isn’t fair. You can expect it to be challenged. I want a level playing field in so far as it doesn’t compromise anyone else.

http://www.facebook.com/rhiannonmarypayne Rhiannon Payne

Amen. Well done, Nicole.

Sully

That Fox News article irritated me so much! I just don’t understand why men would find women’s equality threatening (according to the author, I would hope that most men don’t really feel this way).

Ted

Sully, women’s “equality” is coming at the expense of men at this point and it needs to be addressed. Equality is fine if it’s not coming at our expense.

Sully

How is it coming at men’s expense? And what would you rather see?

Bastet

They’re losing their privelege and think it’s discrimination.

Matthew

Great piece! I read Venker’s spiel and good God/Zeus/FSM/Vishnu/Cthulhu does it ever miss the point.

Just about the only thing she gets right is that men haven’t changed because there’s been no analogue to feminism over the past couple decades. This is a problem. Not just for women, but for men too. Distill all the ads, role models and conditioning men get thrown at us and what you basically end up with is “Manhood is being big (either unhealthily fat or impossibly muscular), aggressive, drunk, stupid, uncompromisingly stubborn, and utterly obsessed with sex. And when men internalize that, we get something like this:

Women aren’t people, they’re sex organs that unfortunately come with a brain. Beating the other guy is more important than finding the best outcome for all parties. Strength is more important than wisdom, emotions other than anger, pride, or lust are for women or gays (which are basically the same thing), and somehow it’s women’s fault that these attitudes don’t work in today’s world.

“Here at Feminspire, I am proud to say that our writers strive to be
balanced and inclusive. I have never encountered an article where I
thought a woman was bashing a man on the basis of his gender or anyone
of any gender or demographic.”

I mostly agree. The writers here at Feminspire are amazingly well balanced compared to other Feminist blogs. There is very little man bashing. What little there is is indirect. The very concept of “patriarchy” is very anti-male. This does make it’s rounds at Feminspire.

Feminsipire is not typical. Feminsipre is not representative of feminism. None of the articals on Feminsipire are so off base or misandric that I can’t “agree to disagree”. “The War on Men” is not written about your style of moderate and inclusive feminism. It’s about the Radical Feminists that are the loudest, most agressive, and most hate filled (and therefor get the most media attention) New Iteration of the “SCUM manifesto” surface every so often. You can’t get much more male hating than kill off 90% of all men. Do continue your good work, but recognize that Feminspire is what feminism claims to be, not what it really is. I have no doubt that a good conversation with any of the writers here would do little to change anyone’s mind, but would do a great deal to change the words used to express. I have no hope that talking to the women protesting Warren Farrell would produce any results.

On a side note…..Sky fall, Really? That’s your example? James Bond is a Chauvinists wet dream. You may as well have used Clockwork Orange or Lord of the Flies.

http://www.facebook.com/nikki.d.casale Nikki Del Casale

I used examples that were currently popular to emphasize that her point was incorrect in the present. Skyfall is one of the Bond movies that treats women with more respect, but it still has large instances of anti-women sentiment, further disproving Venker’s point.

zee

[SPOILERS] “mocked throughout the entire film for making one mistake” = almost killing James Bond. Kind of a big deal since it sets the rest of the series of events in motion. Also Moneypenny’s character is being M’s assistant in the office. So maybe you should criticize how Judy Dench’s M didn’t do fieldwork too. You can’t because her character is working in the office directing MI6. As far as Judy Dench’s M being replaced by a man, what is the problem? We had a woman M, she was awesome, therefore the next one should be a woman too?

That being said Fox News article was ridiculous, I just think your examples weren’t the strongest choices.

http://www.facebook.com/marlenaraec Marlena Carcone

I’m sorry, WHAT. “the very concept of patriarhy is very anti-male.” That’s just not true. Aside from the fact that patriarchy affects men too, it’s an objectively true thing that patriarchy exists in many forms and is venerated and perpetuated in most societies today– and throughout history, too. We have hundreds of articles on this site that demonstrate and deconstruct that.

Also, as an editor of Feminspire, I reject your label of me as a “moderate” feminist. I do not identify with radical feminism because it’s incredibly transmisogynistic and often racist, but my ideas about feminism as a liberation and equality movement could hardly be called “moderate” in comparison to where society is today. Obviously I am only speaking for myself here and not on behalf the site, but that’s how I feel. This site presents a balanced, rational, and honest perspective on news and media, and I’m glad that you see that– but please do not tell us that we are not representative of feminism, because many of our staff, myself included, identify as very proud, active feminists. If that makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, but our “good work” is feminist work, and you’ll just have to reconcile that with your stereotypes about feminism.

As someone who doesn’t identify as a feminist and who is full of male privilege (making assumptions here, but I think I’m right in thinking that that you’re a cis man, which is one of the highest societal classes. if I’m not, correct me), you don’t get to tell me what my feminism is.

Bastet

“…you don’t get to tell me what my feminism is.” Or anyone else’s for that matter. Nor what ‘most’ feminists believe especially when the misogyist idea of feminism is straw at best.

Am I the only one who reads articles like Venker’s and ends up laughing at them, just because there is no way in hell that somebody could actually think that way? Like, there are actually women – women! not men! – who believe a woman’s place ‘is at home’ and they should just strive to be good wife material and nothing more? It’s such a laughable concept, and I can hardly believe there are still people out there who think like that.
If anything, the men who ‘don’t want to get married’, feel that way because they’re threatened by their wife being an equal. They’re egos are so fragile that they cannot handle a woman having just as much say in things as they do. Wouldn’t want a wife who has dreams of her own – that means she might be too busy to cater to you! Quite frankly, any man who won’t marry me because he feels threatened by my independence is not ‘marriage material’ to ME.

Ed

Kitty, women can do almost anything men can do but the concern is that the advancement of women is happening in a forced and unreasonable way. When we look at all of the measures taken on by our government to advance women and ignore men and boys, I can’t see how this can be laughed at. I advocate equality where and when it’s possible but I’m not going to pretend that women’s advancement isn’t being forced on our society when it is.

Bastet

For equality to happen, you have to give up privelege. That’s what equality is.

Bastet

About the only time I ever get the urge to call a woman a stupid bi#ch is when she hates women as much or moreso than misogynist men! That fox ‘article’ is absolute trash. I’m shocked that passes as newsworthy in the states.