Thoughts of a Berean Baptist

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

There are some very dangerous and unscriptural thoughts
regarding submission that I have witnessed/heard over the years, and have been
greatly disturbed by of recent days. Many men, and preachers, have taught and
practiced that the woman is supposed to submit to the man; and by submit they
mean that the woman is to agree with and obey the man in everything, following
him without question, without any objection or disagreement, even without
sharing her thoughts, beliefs or opinions.

When it comes to the subject of headship, men have once again erred and
believed and taught that God’s placing them as the head of the home means that
they are “large and in charge”, that they are in power over those in the their
home and that everyone under their roof must agree with them in everything – or
else!

Sadly, many well-meaning, Christian women have believed these lies. Sadder
still, many Christian young men are growing up to treat their wives, and women
in general, in accordance with these lies, which is nothing short of abuse.
(Look up the definition of the word.)

For the record, the very word submission suggests a difference of desire,
belief or opinion. Where there is agreement, we do not speak of submission, but
unity. The Biblical definition of
submission (the definition we see exemplified in the life of Jesus Christ) is a
yielding of one’s desire to the desires and/or leading of another. Submission
is not agreement, it is yielding.

Biblical headship is meek, humble, leading by serving. I will continue to proclaim
the truth of authority/headship: The
reality of authority is that it is a responsibility to serve. The Biblical
man will always seek, listen to and respect his wife’s desires, thoughts and
opinions, taking them under consideration in everything he leads his family to
do. True headship will always do what is in the best interest (according to
God’s Word) of those under its authority, and do so with love and compassion.

Yes, I believe that the wife is to submit to her husband. I believe that the
man is the head of the home. But what is most important before these is that I
know and believe God’s definition of submission and headship, and practice them
accordingly. Man’s definition of these two subjects leads to abuse, and has
brought much misery to marriages and homes. No man, who does not understand,
believe and accept God’s definition of these two subjects, is fit for the role
of husband, father or leader in any capacity.

Much more could be said; this is sufficient for my purpose at this time.
Paul

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The purpose of this letter is to address a couple of things
that have disturbed me for some time now, and increasingly so in recent months
and weeks. This letter is not directed at any particular individuals, although
it is indeed applicable to several young people that I know today.

I realize that this letter will seem old fashioned in
principle to many, even if the wording is modern. Should you consider this
letter and myself so, I simply direct you to Jer. 6:16.

Over recent years I have observed many young people (some,
even yet children) referring to their special friend of the opposite sex as,
“my girl” or “my man”. I am not speaking of married couples, but of boys and
girls, young men and young women who are dating or courting, yet often who are
not even yet engaged to one another. Neither is it uncommon to see pictures of
“lovers” hugging, kissing, and holding hands or perhaps just sitting so close
together a flea couldn’t squeeze through. Over the recent July 4th holiday,
while spending some time in WV with family, one of my sisters asked me what I
thought about boys and girls hugging by way of greeting; apparently, there have
been several people tell her that she should not have any problems with boys
and girls hugging by way of greeting, indicating that this should be and seem
natural; there is also a book for girls written by a couple of sisters that
espouses the same idea.

Here is what I want
to know: What makes you think, young man,
that she belongs to you? And to whom do you belong?

Ironically, the people I am referring to are people who
would claim to be Christians (in reality, a Christian is someone whom others
believe is a follower of Jesus Christ). Of course, I can’t tell it by what they
are saying in this respect, nor by the way they look and act like the rest of
the lost world in their flirting with impurity, but that is what they would
claim. Some may in fact be erring because of ignorance; however, I know that
many are not in ignorance, but grew up in homes that taught better.

Allow me to first address this issue of you calling your
special friend, “my girl”. Can someone please, please, tell me in what way your
special friend belongs to you??? You haven’t announced an engagement: you are
not brother or sister (I hope, and that would be beyond creepy anyway!): to my
knowledge you don’t believe in slavery; so in what way does your special friend
belong to you? Young man, have you asked her father for her hand in marriage
yet? Have you paid the bride price already if her father requires it? Have you
asked her to do you the honor of becoming your wife? If so, then perhaps it may
be acceptable to refer to your special friend in this manner (although I would
still argue otherwise, and believe it most truthful to say, “my fiancé”); but why
then have others and I not been told the wonderful and exciting news of your
upcoming wedding? After all, you are speaking in a manner that denotes
ownership. And yet, I am certain that your last names are still different, that
you do not pay for her room and board or education, and that you have never
claimed her as a dependent on your tax forms! Maybe you should ask her father
whose girl she is!!! I understand of whom a man is speaking when he says, “my
wife” or “my daughter”; but when you, who aren’t married and do not have
children (I hope) say, “my girl” you put me to some confusion. I won’t even
bother to talk about the fact that if something happens between you and the one
you are claiming as your girl, it is only a matter of time until you call
another girl “my girl”… Seriously??? Can you not see the foolishness of this?
Frankly, every time you call a girl, “my girl” when she is not, you are telling
an untruth. I won’t say that you are lying, because to lie is to tell a
falsehood knowingly, and many of you have been ignorant of these principles. Of
course, now that you have read this, you are no longer in ignorance. So stop it already!

Now, let’s consider
touching before marriage.And again
I ask the questions: What makes you think that she belongs to you, and that you have a right to touch her? And to
whom do you belong?

One would like to think that this would no longer need to be
addressed; however, a simple glimpse around the church building, the grocery
store or Facebook will make it amply clear that there remains a great need for
more teaching/preaching in this area.

The passage of Scripture that most people think of in
connection with this subject is 1Cor. 7:1,2; they do so with good reason. I
want to direct your attention to a couple of the words here, and their
definitions.

The first word that we want to consider is the word “good”
in verse 1. It is Strong’s #2570 and means beautiful, valuable or virtuous.
This word is found repeatedly throughout the New Testament, with the following
being just a few examples: Matt. 3:10; 5:16; John 10:11,14,32; Rom. 14:21;
1Cor. 5:6; 1Tim. 3:1,7; 2Tim. 4:7.

Now let’s look at the word “touch” in verse 1. It is
Strong’s #680 and means simply “to attach oneself to, i.e., to touch”.
Considering the context of where we find this verse, it is quite clear here
that the meaning of the word “touch” means to touch in a sensual manner; that
is, any touch that is, or is intended to be, for sexual pleasure or
gratification. I suppose that many young men would try to argue that their
desire to simply hold hands is not intended to be sensual; however, I do not
believe there is any way for it to be otherwise. You wouldn’t just casually
hold the hand of just any girl would you? (If you answered “yes” to that, go
back to the beginning where I addressed the principle of ownership.) So then,
why do you desire to hold the hand of your special friend (or hug, or kiss
her)? As a frank and honest man, and as a married man, I assure you that even
the holding of a woman’s hand is indeed a sensual matter (usually excluding
times of assistance), as is putting your arm around her, etc.; blessed of God
if you are married, “not good” if you are not.

But let us look further at this word translated touch in our
text. We also find it scattered in the New Testament; in fact, in the
Authorized Version there appears to be only 2 other Greek words translated
touch for a total of three uses, versus Strong’s #680 which is translated touch
13x. Some examples of this word are in the following references: Matt. 9:21;
Mark 6:56; John 20:17; 2Cor. 6:17. Do you think for an instant that the woman
with an issue of blood in Matt. 9:21 desired to caress or fondle the garment of
Jesus? Or that the sick in Mark 6:56 had to caress, hold on to or fondle the
border of His garment in order to be made whole? Do you intend to interpret
2Cor. 6:17 “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the
Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you” as meaning only
a lingering, caressing or fondling hold on the unclean thing? You know this is
not right! And yet, it is the same word spoken when it says, “It is good for a
man not to touch a woman”. Can you not see how inconsistent it is to interpret
all of the other instances of this word as meaning a simple touch, and yet try
to redefine this one in such a manner so as to allow for your lust? What we
learn here is that, even though the word “touch” in 1Cor. 7:1 means a sensual
touch in its strictest contextual sense, even a simple touch may be sensual;
this would be determined by the purpose and intent of the touch.

Please do not understand me to say that I believe to greet a
woman with a handshake, or a touch of necessity (as in helping a woman who is
injured, elderly, young, weak, etc.) is wrong, for I do not. What I am
addressing is the intentional and
unnecessary touching’s of play and affection that so many engage in before
marriage.

Let us go further in these verses and look at verse 2 of
1Cor. 7. “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife,
and let every woman have her own husband.” Now there is ownership and
possession I can understand, and of which God Almighty approves! Isn’t it
interesting that it doesn’t say, ‘let every man have his own girl’ (or
girlfriend, or fiancé)? No, it says, “wife”, because that alone is approved by
God! Is this what you can call your special friend?

So let me be blunt with you. Your touching (sitting right up
against one another, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing, fondling) of
your special friend that you are considering for marriage, or perhaps are even
engaged to, is, according to this passage, “not good”! The apostle Paul says
that it is “good for a man not to touch a woman”; that is, that it is
beautiful, valuable and virtuous not to touch a woman. What you are doing by
and in your touching is the exact opposite. In this aspect, your relationship
is not beautiful, valuable or virtuous. Considering verse 2 (“to avoid
fornication”), I would go so far as to say that your touching before marriage
comes at least very close to fornication, even if it is not technically so.

But 1Cor. 7:1,2 is not the only passage giving direction in
this area of relationships. What about Prov. 6:27-29 “Can a man take fire in
his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his
feet not be burned? So he that goeth into his neighbors wife; whosever toucheth
her shall not be innocent.” Perhaps you say that your special friend is not
someone else’s wife; that may very well be true, but neither is she yours, and
that is the point (remember what I wrote at the beginning?). Young man, you
have no idea what passions may be aroused (as God intended them to be!) by a
simple touch! You think, perhaps, that you can imagine it, but if you have
never touched a girl that you love (here I use the word “love” to mean
affection for), there is no way that you can even begin to have an idea of what
that is like. “whosever toucheth her shall not be innocent.” Hands off for
purity’s sake! Hands off for safety’s sake! Hands off for testimony’s sake!

I once asked a young man why he wanted to touch his special
friend, and his answer was, that he loved her and intended to marry her. Time
will not permit me to fully expound upon it, but such a desire is not love, but
lust. Love would not want to do something to or with his special friend, the
one he hoped would someday be his wife, that would not be beautiful, valuable
or virtuous either for her or him. The only way such a young man’s desire could
be defined as love is if he were speaking of love of himself. He stated to me as
his defense that the desire to touch is “a natural response to the growth of a
healthy relationship.” While I wholeheartedly agree with that statement (and
thank God it is so!), that is no justification for the touching to begin before
marriage. I might just as well, and just
as truthfully, say that the desire to physically “know” a woman is a
natural response to the growth of a healthy relationship. His argument for
touching (whether that be holding of hands, kissing or hugging) is as good of a
justification for the one as for the other. Furthermore, just because he
intended to marry her does not mean that they were married, or even that they
would be; only time would tell the truth of that, regardless of how much both
might have wanted it. In other words, she didn’t belong to him, and that is the
crux of this whole matter.

A word on boundaries:

If what has been said and the Scriptures shared have not
been enough to convince you that it is wrong to touch before marriage, then perhaps
a little more reasoning will help. So many young people say that they have
discussed touching with their special friend and that they have set boundaries
for themselves. Yet, who are we to set boundaries? Should we not rather go to
God’s Word, which is “profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for
instruction in righteousness” and search for His boundaries and obey them? But
this defense by young people of boundaries can actually give some light on the
whole question of touching. Please, can you tell me where in the Scripture you
can find a boundary that says it is OK to hold hands, but hugging is definitely
out? Or that holding hands and hugging is OK, but kissing is a no-no? Or how
about that it is OK to kiss, but going any farther is forbidden? You can’t find
those boundaries and you know it! There is nothing in the Bible that I am aware
of that either expressly or implicitly establishes any distinction in
boundaries before marriage such as these. So, that leads me to believe that
either no touching is permissible or that all touching is. It’s all or nothing!
And I think by now we know God’s will (and Word) on the matter; the question
is, are you going to obey Him? Again, I’ll just put it bluntly to you: It is
not your place to set boundaries. Your responsibility (and mine as a married
man) is to go to God’s Word, read the boundaries He has established and simply
obey them. Stop trying to fool yourself with a façade of righteousness and
spirituality by saying that you have established the boundaries and simply submit
to following the principles of God’s Holy Word!

A personal testimony:

If you have never touched a girl before, you have no idea
the pull that first touch will bring. I have been married for two and a half
years, but it is not so long ago that I have forgotten the first time I touched
my wife! And yes, thank God, she was my wife when we first touched. I remember
the first time we held hands, the first time I put my hands on her and the
first time we kissed. And I’m so thankful that we didn’t do it before the
wedding. You see, waiting until after we were married meant that we were free
to touch; there was nothing in the way. We didn’t have to worry about
boundaries or going too far. Our touching was approved and blessed by God, and
it was a good thing! I firmly believe that if we had touched before marriage,
even just holding hands, we would have felt guilt later and touching after
marriage would have lost some if its blessing and joy in the guilt of
remembering that we didn’t wait. I have never heard one couple that regretted
waiting until the wedding to touch, but I have heard from those who wished they
had. You think you just can’t wait to touch her, but you might as well get used
to it. Depending on the woman you do marry, there may be days when she doesn’t
want you to touch her, and may even refuse to allow it. (Thankfully, my wife is
not such an one. ) There will be weeks, perhaps even months when
you will have to wait on her; if you can’t control yourself now, you probably won’t
be able to then either. And the man that loves his wife will wait not only on
her, but for her, including before she becomes his wife.

You say that you just
cannot wait that long!

Perhaps you feel that you just cannot wait until the wedding
day to touch her. Well, God has an answer for that: “I say therefore to the
unmarried and widows, It is good for them to abide even as I. But it they
cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” 1Cor.
7:8,9. If indeed you feel that you just cannot wait, then marry! That is God’s answer!
He didn’t say to hold hands a little to try and cool the fire, or to go ahead
and kiss once in a while to ease the tension. Because God, who made us, knows
that He designed these things to bring a couple closer together, to ignite the
passions of love, to culminate in husband and wife becoming one. And He said,
“to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife”; that is His answer to
your desires of touch. I am not saying that a quick marriage is best by any
means, and neither was the apostle Paul; in some ways, it will be trading one
trouble for others (financial, lack of preparation, etc.). But what he was
saying, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is that it is better to
marry and have some troubles, than to burn with desire and commit fornicaton.

Now, let me ask you
again a question I have asked twice already: to whom do you belong?

I have written this open letter to young men, but not to
just any young men. I have written to young men with the assumption that they
are professing Christians. But now I want to ask you, to whom do you belong? If
you profess to be a Christian, then you are not your own; God owns you by his
purchase through the shed blood of his Son Jesus Christ. You are not free to do
whatever you want, and that includes touching whomever you want with your body.
You are no more your own than a married man is his own; you belong to Another,
just as he belongs to another. Are you going to take the body God has given
you, with the passions that He has given you and use them in a way not pleasing
to Him? What example will you set for those around you in this matter of purity
before marriage? 1Thess. 5:22 says “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” You
may argue that your touching isn’t fornication; I don’t know your heart, and so
can’t definitively say that it is; but one thing is certain, it sure enough
looks like it! And if you continue in your insistence to touch, I wouldn’t give
a plug nickel for the possibility of your remaining pure in thought and deed
before marriage. And I will tell you straight out that what you are doing is
contrary to all virtue and that it is of no value in your pre-marital
relationship. I will not think your pictures where the both of you are
practically sitting on top of one another are cute; instead they are saddening
in that they show you do not hold the bonds of marriage sacred. That alone
should be enough to cause your special friend concern; because if you don’t
hold the bonds of marriage sacred now, you may not do so after marriage either.

I’m not trying to be mean or hateful. But no one else I know
is telling young men the truth of God’s Word in this area, and with the dangers
in this area some sternness and directness seems to be in order.

A distinction noted:

Some young men who are somewhat familiar with the Bible may
say, in defense of their words and actions of familiarity such as I am writing
against, that young men and young women of Bible times were considered and
called husband and wife after their engagement but before the wedding. This
would only be partly true, though, as those during Bible days were betrothed
and not engaged. Our engagements of today are nothing like the betrothals then.
Under the betrothal system, the bride price was paid, and there appears to have
been a covenant to marry. Before family and friends, and according to the law,
the man and the woman actually belonged to one another; they were indeed
husband and wife although that marriage had not been consummated. Under
betrothal, both had a covenantal, societal and legal claim on the other.

This is not at all like our engagement system of today.
While some born-again young people have every true intention of marrying the
one they have asked to marry them or promised to marry, there is nothing
covenantally, legally or officially binding them. And therein lies the problem:
they are not by covenant, nor in the eyes of society or the law (either God’s
or man’s) husband and wife: they do not belong to one another in any way. (This
is not to say that it is always necessary for society and/or the law of man to
approve or disapprove of a marriage for it to be legitimate or illegitimate.) A
betrothal was a covenant that could only be broken due to unfaithfulness on the
part of the other; engagements are broken frequently for many varied reasons
and with little thought as to the seriousness of one’s word.

While I would still maintain that it is best and wisest to
refrain from touching until the marriage has taken place, if a man and woman
were to do a betrothal, that is, to covenant to one another before witnesses to
become husband and wife, I would not go so far as to consider and call it
fornication as I do now. But until families (parents and children) go back to
this system – hands off!

May God bless you and your special friend as you seek His
will for your life! And may God give you the grace and resolve of virtuous
character to remain pure until the time when you both belong to each other
until death do you part!

In Christian love and concern,

Paul B. Carpenter

P.S. I know that this is written with sarcasm, bluntness and passion; please do not mistake me to be or feel mean or hateful as a result. While I am increasingly of the belief that gentleness in writing is best, for my purpose here I felt that some direct "confrontational" words were in order.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

In my office is a shoebox. It is full of receipts from two
years ago, receipts that were never properly recorded as I normally try to do
before throwing them away.

February has just ended, only two months into the year; and
like the shoebox, there are many things I intended to do on a daily, weekly or
monthly basis that are left undone already.

Many of you may be in the same place, perhaps you have a similar
“shoebox”; it may be physical or it may be spiritual. You made some resolutions for the New Year, maybe “official” ones,
maybe public maybe private. Perhaps you wrote them down, perhaps you didn’t.
But between Jan. 1st and Feb. 28th, those resolutions,
those desires to do better, have fallen now and then, or perhaps altogether. Perhaps
your “shoebox” is years old, full of old desires and dreams that you have given
up on. Some of these things that we have failed to do, fulfill or accomplish
are serious (sin to omit or commit), others are not so important.

The question now is, what are we going to do about it? We
have a choice to make: either to give up and fail, or try again to succeed. Please
note that the first has determined and guaranteed results, the second is yet to
be decided.

Children fall often while learning to walk; yet, unless
there is a physical handicap that prohibits, all succeed. The christian life is
very similar to a child learning to walk in that we fall repeatedly, either
through ignorance or willful disobedience. Yet some believers seem to grow more
than others, and we often wonder why. I suggest the reason is because some
choose to get back up and go on when they fall, while others decide to remain
where they fell.

In Matt. 26 Jesus took his disciples with him into the
garden to pray, and asked them to watch with him. In his humanity he desired
and needed the comfort of human compassion and friendship. The disciples failed
their best friend and slept while he was in agony of spirit; three times Jesus
came to them, and three times he found them sleeping. They had fallen, but he
would not let them fail. The words of Jesus to his disciples are full of hope
for us today: in verse 46 he said, “Rise, let us be going:” This is what Jesus
wants us to do when we fall, just like the parent encourages their child when
they fall learning to walk. And he does not merely want us to get back up and
go on alone, saying that he is ashamed of us and no longer counts us as a
friend or wants to be with us; but he calls us to walk with him again! Note
well what Jesus said, “let us be
going”. “US”! He is not just going
with us, but is calling us again to walk with him where he goes!

Perhaps you have fallen, but you don’t have to fail. Jesus wants
you to get up, and he is willing to help you do so, and then to walk with you
to keep you from falling again. Stop measuring your success by one moment of
time, by some instance of ‘falling’. We measure the success of the most
successful, not at a moment, but over time and often not until the end of their
life. If you have breath left, there is still time to try to succeed.

Remember: you and I will remain where we fall if we refuse to get back
up again; this is failing. Do you want to remain where you are? I
don’t. But the only way not to is to “Rise, …and be going”.Falling is temporary, failing is permanent;
the first is natural, the second a choice. Maybe we’ve fallen so hard that all
we can do at the first is to get up on our hands and knees and crawl, but Jesus
wants us to get back up!

There are examples in the Bible of men who fell, two of
which serve well to our point. Both Saul and David fell, but only one failed
(1Sam. 15 and Psa. 51). The difference between them was that David was humble
enough to admit his sin and ask for forgiveness and help, while Saul was proud
and refused to confess his wrong. Which will we be like? Are we willing to
admit our fallings? Are we willing to believe God when he says that he will
forgive us and help us up again? 1John 1:9

Everyone falls, but it is only those that refuse to get back
up and go on that fail. Will you merely fall, or will you fail?

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this
one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth
unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of
the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philip. 3:13,14

Saturday, January 31, 2015

-->Oct. 1, 2014, my dear wife and I learned from the midwife
that there was no heartbeat from our little one. This was the second pregnancy,
and would be the second miscarriage within a ten-month period.

Several weeks ago, just before going to sleep, my precious
Jewel whispered in my ear, “You were a good Daddy to our baby.” I said nothing,
but thought to myself, “But I didn’t get to be a Daddy. I am a father, yes, but
not a Daddy.” I have continued to think of this. So few men realize that there
is a difference between a Daddy and a father. From a Biblical viewpoint, they are
often one and the same (unless of course, the passage is speaking strictly
biologically. And yes, I do know that the Scriptures do not use the word
“Daddy”, but the concept is there.); but in our culture today, there is indeed
a difference of meaning. Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man, a
Bible man, to be a Daddy.

What is my definition of a Daddy, you ask? The following is
the Daddy I wanted to be.

I wanted to be a leader, something that every Daddy will be,
either for good or bad. I’m not talking about the
authoritative/disciplinarian/dictator type of leader. That type of man is no
leader; he is a weak, self-centered, unkind and uncaring brute; most animals
are better than he. I’m talking about the Bible type of leader. The type of
leader that shares his vision with his children, that says to his sons and
daughters, “Let’s follow the Lord!” The type of leader that says, “Come, let us
go” not the type that says, “Go’. The Bible type of leader is gentle and tender
with those under his care, always going before and calling onward, yet
constantly looking back to make sure that none fall behind. He is in the front,
bearing all the responsibility and shielding his family from danger,
never requiring of others what he will not do. He is temperate in all things
and is as consistent as he knows to be.

I wanted to be a teacher, and every good Daddy is one. Not first
because it is his duty (although it is), but because it is his heart. His
greatest desires are that his children will go far beyond his own knowledge,
skills and accomplishments; and he gives his life to this end. To this end he
gives of his time and body, sacrificing his own personal desires on a daily
basis. In his teaching he exercises the utmost patience, and does so with love
and compassion. In the things that are too hard, he lends a helping hand; yet
he knows when to step back and let a child learn by his mistakes. He is an
encourager, and shows pleasure and delight in even the smallest
accomplishments, or even just the efforts that failed.

I wanted to be a comforter to my children, knowing that
there will be many times in life that they will need it. Most people think that
Mommy should be the comforter; I believe Daddy should not only be so as well, but
that he should be the example of it to his children’s Mommy. Everyone knows
that children fall repeatedly when learning to walk; this falling continues to
repeat itself throughout a child’s life, just in different ways. Parents accept
the fact that they will have to help their child get up when they are learning
to walk; but then as the child grows up those same parents become exasperated
when the child ‘falls down’ and needs help getting up again. Fathers help their
toddlers up when they fall; Daddys help their child up again throughout life,
comforting them and encouraging them on. Every child should know that no matter
what has gone wrong, no matter even what they have done, they can find comfort
from their Daddy. Yes, I realize that when a child sins there are consequences,
just like there are for us when we sin against the Lord. Yet we can still find
comfort from our heavenly Father, and he is the example we must follow if we
are to be the best Daddy.

I wanted to be a friend to my children; and not just any
friend, but their best friend until such time as they married (in which case, I
would encourage and hope that their spouse would become their best friend). I
wanted to be a friend like the Bible talks about, one that loveth at all times,
even when they hurt or disappointed me. Being a friend is hard work, and often
goes without thanks. A true friend says and does the hard things, listens
patiently, forgives readily, is there whenever needed and willingly lends a
helping hand. Every good Daddy is a best friend to his children. No man will be
adequately able to be the leader, teacher or comforter he should be to his
children if they do not first know that Daddy is their friend.

I wanted to be a servant to my children. Very few men seem
to realize that this is what they are called to and responsible for as a Daddy,
but this is what it is all about. Most men like to think that they are “in
charge” and “in authority”. In truth, they are correct because God has made
them the head of the home. But this headship is not about being “the Boss”,
because authority is nothing more than the responsibility/duty to serve. He who
is in authority is nothing more than a servant to the one who gave him that
authority, as well as being a servant to those under him. Knowing this, I
wanted to be a servant to my children because only as I excelled in this could
I please the Lord in my duties as a Daddy, duties God gives and to whom I would
be accountable for.

Why do I write this? Because there are a lot of fathers out
there who have never heard what it means to be a Daddy. Their father didn’t
know (or didn’t adequately teach them) and their pastor isn’t telling them
either. This short writing by no means does justice to what is required to be a
good Daddy. But if it will at least make someone pause and consider what kind
of Daddy they are to their children, I’ll be thankful.

Please, go be the Daddy I didn’t get to be. Your children
will thank you for the rest of their life.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

We are not permitted to view the future providences of God; we know not whither its wheel may next turn. But looking back upon the past providences of God we can know with full assurance that those yet to come will be for our best.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Mark 9:7 “And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and
a voice came out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.”

Much has been written, and much has been said and preached regarding
following Christ, but little is heard regarding hearing Him. It seems fitting
at the beginning of a New Year to consider this most important subject, and the
command given in the text, for Jesus plainly stated that before we can follow
him we must first hear his voice. (John 10:4, 27)

Yet before we can look at hearing Him, there is the subject
of our personal salvation that must be considered. If we are to “hear him”, it
is necessary that we belong to him. John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice”.
Throughout John chapter 10, Jesus makes it clear that his sheep hear his voice
and follow him; he also made it very clear that those who are not his sheep do
not hear his voice – “Ye believe not because ye are not of my sheep”. 2Pet.
1:10 says, “Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling
and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall.” There is
little use in studying how to follow Jesus unless we are first certain that we
are his; for we cannot follow him
rightly unless and until we truly know him.

To hear means to give audience or allowance to speak. It
means to attend favorably to, to regard; to listen to. In the text, it carries
with it the assumption of obedience. To hear means to learn, to approve, and
embrace. It means to lend, turn, or incline the ear.

God said to “hear” Jesus. That is, we are to attend
favorably to him; we are to approve and embrace his words. If we are to “hear
him” we must be listening. We are always listening for the voice of one we love; and when we hear them speak, we
listen to them, eagerly desiring to
catch every word. Are we listening for the voice of Jesus? If to hear means to give allowance to speak, then are we devoting time
to listening for our Saviour? Or do we only speak to Him? When he would
speak to us, when the Spirit prompts to prayer, do we incline our ear to him?
Or do we offer some excuse of inconvenience (Songs 5:3)?

We are told to “hear him”.
We are not told to hear any other but Jesus. Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice”; and in John 10:5 he said
that, “they know not the voice of strangers.” How sad that so many of God’s professed people better know the voice of
others, yet cannot even hear the voice of the One who loves them and gave his
life for them! The apostle Paul said that there are “many kinds of voices
in the world”; how true that is! There are voices of friends and foes; voices
of family and loved ones; voices of employments and cares. These can be true
and right, or they may be false and wrong. However, the reality is that the
many kinds of voices may be categorized into two: the voice of the Word, and the voice of the world. The many kinds
of voices are constantly calling, and if we are not listening for and to his
voice, the “many kinds” will so distract us that we will not be able to hear
him when he calls. And if we cannot hear him when he calls, then we will not
follow.

In the command to “hear him” there is the suggestion that we
are not to hear others. We are not to listen to them, we are not to give them
allowance to speak, we are not to regard or obey them, nor even give them the
time of day. We are only to “hear him”. And this thought suggested by the text
is verified by Jesus himself when he said, “for they know not the voice of
strangers.” Yes, it is true that God can and does at times speak through some
or all of these; only if we know him will we be able to discern when it is his
voice through others, and when it is
the voice of others. The Scriptures
are the rule to give us discernment in this.

While no specific time of hearing is stated, and while we
know that we are always to “hear him”, listening for his voice, yet the text
suggests a particular time of which it is helpful to note. The text says, “And
there was a cloud… and a voice came out of the cloud”. God is not always so near
when the sun is shining, for then we do not feel our need of him; and J.R. Miller
rightly points out (speaking of Luke 24:28, 29) that Jesus “loves to be
constrained. He does not go where he is not really and earnestly desired, where
his presence is not eagerly sought after.” When life is dark and the clouds seem
to hang low, then, as much as ever, we ought to “hear him”. Many times we are
tempted when facing some trouble to think that Jesus is not near, that he does
not care; we often feel alone and forsaken. Yet this is not so, and it is
during the cloudy days that the Lord’s gentle leading may be the most evident,
when he speaks most tenderly to his sheep. Jesus
is near on cloudy days.

This year, whether it be one of sunshine or clouds, triumphs
or troubles, may we “hear him”; not just with the hearing of the ear, but of
the heart and life. May we hear the Word and not the world. May we hear him in
obedience and faith, and not in rebellion and unbelief.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Where Will You Be One Year From Now?Rise up... and go

New Years often mark new beginnings. New beginnings are begun by first considering where we have been (or are), then where we desire to be. It is sometimes helpful to look back and see where we have been in life, yet at the same time it can be something that causes us to stumble if we have regrets of where we have been. Let us each carefully and prayerfully consider the following questions, asking God to speak to our hearts: 1. How long have I been a child of God? 2. What has changed in my life since I was born again? 3. Where have I been since that day? 4. Am I where God wants me to be? 5. What am I doing to reach the place God wants me?

In these questions, I am not asking “where” in the physical sense (though that could also apply), but in the spiritual sense. Looking back to the time of conversion, and considering all of the changes that took place as a result of the saving grace of God in granting faith and repentance, all of the love for Jesus Christ that was felt and manifest, and the desire to live every aspect of my life in a manner pleasing to Him, how does that compare to where I am now?

Many times when looking back, we see little but failure: failure to love the Lord as we ought; failure to love family and friends as we ought; failure to love the lost as we ought; failure to live a holy life as we ought. We see sins both of commission and omission. In truth, if we are honest, we will find that many of the sins that were present in our hearts before conversion are still present in our flesh, although (hopefully) by the sanctifying work of God they are not as manifest as they once were. If we are honest, we must still look at our past life as a child of God and say ‘I am of all men most miserable a sinner.’

The difficulty with looking back and seeing all our failures is that often despair and discouragement come to plague our thoughts. This is one of Satan’s greatest and most successful weapons against the child of God, for the one who is discouraged and in despair is one who is stuck in his past and is not reaching the place of holiness and sanctification that God desires us each to reach.

It was during a time of such despair in my life brought on by the thoughts of my failures that God in his merciful kindness and love brought to me the Scripture “Rise up, let us go” through a devotional by J.R. Miller. (See Mark 14:32-42) This word was spoken by Jesus to the disciples in the garden when they had fallen asleep, when they had failed the Lord at a time when they had great opportunity to minister to the Lord. They had lost the time, the opportunity was gone, never to return. Never again would they have that same opportunity, never again would they be able to use that time. It is often the same with us as we look at our past; those opportunities of the past to minister to the Lord, to speak a word of love to both the lost and saved, to spend that time in prayer, are gone; the time has already been wasted, never to return.

While it is true that when we are made aware by God of past sins and failures that we are to deal with those by repenting of them and seeking to make right whatever wrong we have done, yet we must be careful lest we dwell on the past in a manner which would cause us to despair. Note that above I emphasized “by God”: we must not spend our time constantly combing over our past life looking for sins and failures. This will contribute to despair, and will open a door for Satan to tempt us; it will effectively keep us from ever reaching the place of sanctified service God would have us, as we will not have time left to focus on where we should be for focusing on where we have been.

It is quite clear from the words of Jesus that he did not desire his disciples to dwell on how they had just failed him, neither to remain sleeping as if nothing had happened. He told them to “Rise up”. As we begin a New Year, we need to do the same. We need to set aside the failures of the past (aside from making them right and remembering the lessons learned), to ‘Rise up,... and go’. Men and women who live constantly dwelling in the failures of the past are not needed; these may be found in great plenty. Men and women are needed who will rise up from the failures of the past, learning the lessons of those failures, and go forward to live a victorious life of service for and to God. It is this to which Jesus called the disciples.

A great comfort is to be found in the words “let us go”. Jesus did not intend that the disciples should go without direction and help; he said “us”, thus showing that they were to go together. We must never endeavor to forge ahead of our failures without the presence and help of Jesus Christ. The account that follows of Peter’s denial shows this in great clarity.

For many of us, looking back at 2011 might be discouraging as we think of its failures, the times we have given in to temptation, the sorrows and tears. But let us determine by the help of God to let past failings be a goad to greater faithfulness, to incite us to more careful watchings, to encourage us to spend more time in prayer and study of God’s Word, to be a lesson of our constant need of the presence of the Holy Spirit. Miller says “Yet why should a man squander all because he has squandered the best?” “ Because we have failed in one duty we must not give up in despair. There are other opportunities waiting...”

So we have failed, what then? Let us repent, ‘Rise up, and go’. Waste not precious time this year dwelling in the past but rather reach for the place God desires you to be. We may well ask ‘Where have I been?’, but we would better ask ‘Where will I be?’ This time one year from now, will you have gone forward in your spiritual life, or will you be where you are now?

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philip. 3:13,14

Those who desire to be a different person tomorrow must begin change today.

About Me

I was born in 1980 in the State of Ohio, United States, where I presently reside. I am married to my lovely and precious Jewel since Oct. 19, 2012, and am the oldest child in a family of ten. Currently, I am employed in the electrical industry. My purpose in this blog is to share with others a little of what of what the Lord is doing in my life, as well as short thoughts (OK, or maybe long ones :)! about Scriptures, quotes, etc. of a spiritual nature that might be a blessing to others. I welcome feedback, but I have set the comments setting to where I can read them before they are posted. Please be patient with me, as I won't have a lot of time to look at these often Thanks for reading, and God bless!!! P.S. I can be reached via email at bygracealone95@gmail.com