Monday, January 30, 2012

Through my artist friends on Facebook, I recently found out about "ARTFEST" -- this magical creative event held every year in Fort Worden, Washington. Started by Teesha Moore some 13 years ago, this 3 day arts and crafts retreat is held in an old army base. People come from all over to take classes, meet up with their on-line artist community, and sell their wares. This year, I'm going!

I just got my thoroughly thorough information packet in the mail, along with the cutest coloring book. Not only does the info booklet have tons of necessary suggestions, but also what I'm signed up for, where I'm going, what I need to bring, and this:

(I'm a little worried about the 5th line: "Make new friends". I'm going alone and for some reason, that just sounds scary!)

And the coloring book! It's so gorgeous in it's black and white form, I almost hate to color it in!

...and one very pretty lady... maybe she'll keep me company!

_________________________________________________________________

What's next?

*Wishing Well Weekend Workshop! March 2-4, 2012

We women are always in transition! We move, get married, divorced, raise children, switch jobs. Transitions of any kind -- even good ones -- can leave us feeling lost, alone, and unsure about what to do next. We're here to help.

Friday, January 27, 2012

I had a conversation with my mother the other day where I talked about feeling like I am about to just take a deep breath and jump off a cliff. Where I've finally made a decision and am committing to a definite course of action, and yet have no idea what will actually happen. I don't know if I will fall or fly.

Then I had a conversation with my husband where we discussed some of the changes happening and he smilingly reminded me of his mantra, "Just enjoy the ride." We laughed about what a roller coaster our lives have been in the last few years. He was telling me we're on this adventure together, and we might as well savor every moment of it, good or bad.

And then tonight I saw the movie Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and one of the indelible images and feelings I took away from the movie was of falling. Falling from the World Trade Center. Falling through grief.

I've never been one to love amusement park rides. I don't like scary movies or scary rides or haunted houses or any type of purposeful scaring of myself. Life is scary enough for me without these little adrenaline thrills. But so many people do. Absolutely love roller coasters and skydiving and bungee jumping and cliff diving and extreme skiing and parasailing and hot air ballooning and a million other hobbies which basically are about falling. So why do we have an enormous, instinctive (and rational from an evolutionary point of view) fear of falling from a great height, but relish the thrill of falling in these other situations? The reality of falling is the same in both scenarios. Falling, whether intentional or accidental, adheres to strict laws of gravity. The only difference is in our feeling of control. Our faith in the landing. Our belief in our ultimate safety.

Our belief that we are safe. We get a thrill of survival from that stomach-wrenching drop on the roller coaster, knowing the steel tracks and the careful engineering and the metal safety bar will protect us. We trust that the water will absorb our dive, that the bungee cord will rebound, that the parachute will open. So instead of screaming in genuine terror during the fall, we scream with a lesser, though real, fear mixed with delight and triumph and laughter.

The belief that we are falling to our literal or metaphorical death triggers terror and regret and sadness and loss. It is the fear of this feeling that prevents us from taking many risks in our life--the fear of falling, but even more, fear of obliteration, of not surviving. So we scare ourselves in small controlled ways, to prove that we can master death, can survive the impact. We ride carnival rides and watch horror movies and snowboard and keep falling so we can keep landing safely. The only difference emotionally between actually falling and pretend falling is the belief that we are safe. That we will survive. And if we can take that feeling--that we are safe--with us into any situation, then we can experience the thrill and delight and mastery instead of the bone-deep terror and fear. The truth is, if we are falling, we don't really know if we will land safely. Rides malfunction, parachutes don't open, ropes break. But how much better would every experience in our life be if we chose the thrill and delight and laughter of feeling like we are falling in safety. How much better to just always choose to believe we are safe and just go ahead and jump.

This includes our creativity. It takes courage to create. It takes courage to reveal ourselves in a naked way and to put it out there in the world. Try to choose to feel safe and jump off the cliff of creativity. Jump; it's the only way to find your wings.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Spreading a little love today for Bonita Rose, a beautifully talented artist in Fargo, North Dakota (of all places!). I've been following her blog off and on for a while now. Recently she had a give-away. {I never win anything}, but threw my hat in the ring anyway. I won! Who knew!

A couple days later this arrived from North Dakota (of all places!). A simple manila folder booklet, stitched together with red thread. Oh so cute and adorable!

The papers she folded inside were quite possibly various gathered scraps. But the natural ease with which she assembled them got me all inspired.

Anyway you look at them, they're just adorable. As is Bonita's site. It's fun, color-full and interesting. As she sent her creative love all the way from North Dakota (of all places!), I'm sending it on to you. Enjoy her life, love, color, and art.. in her life unrehearsed!

____________________________

What's next?

*Come Gather & Giggle this Sunday January 29, 2012, from 2-5pm at Ridgewood Chamber of Commerce, 27 Chestnut Street, Suite 1B, 1st Floor, Ridgewood, NJ 07450. We'll make Valentine's Day cards (cuz it's almost time!). We'd *love* to see you, so make a reservation. $10 at the door.

*Wishing Well Weekend Workshop! March 2-4, 2012

We women are always in transition! We move, get married, divorced, raise children, switch jobs. Transitions of any kind -- even good ones -- can leave us feeling lost, alone, and unsure about what to do next. We're here to help.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Yesterday, I smelled something suspicious in the vicinity of my Youngest. I pulled her a little closer and our conversation went something like this:

"Did you poop?"
"No, Mommy, I a robot."
"Ok, but did you poop?"
"No, Mommy, I a robot."
Pause.
"Did the robot poop?"
"Yes."

It's all about asking the right question, isn't it?

Instead of agonizing over whether we are making the right decisions, beating ourselves up over perceived failures, or feeling trapped because we don't feel we have a choice, the key instead is just to ask the right question.

Instead of, "What if this is a mistake?" it could be "What might I learn from this?"
Instead of, "Why me?" it could be "What special strength do I bring to this?"
Instead of, "Why am I such an idiot?" it could be "How do I invite better into my life?"
Instead of, "Why doesn't he/she love me?" it could be "Whom do I love?"
Instead of, "Why did I do that?" it could be "How do I thrive right now?"

The truth is the same either way, it's all in how you look at it. Do you want to be the one with the stinky poopy diaper, or do you want to be the badass robot from the movie you just saw?

Monday, January 16, 2012

Every few months, I realize my magazines are starting to pile up right about the time we have a rainy/cold/sick day. So we huddle up and watch movies all day. Since our 5 year old usually dictates what we're watching, I need to occupy my mind while they play. Perfect time for Magazine Maintenance!

I grab some magazines -- usually 3-4 at a time so I'm not overwhelmed by a huge stack -- and comb through them, making separate piles for things I want to keep.

Magazines I love are House Beautiful, Real Simple, Self, Better Homes and Gardens, just about anything European.

I start going through them, making piles.

This is my word/phrase/caption pile. I'll plug the words into my 2012 Intention Workbook to dress is up a bit.

A pile of images, backgrounds, and photos I'll use in my collage and visual journaling art.

This is for my home ideas file. It's huge!

This is a new pile I started this year: my fashion wish list. Being on an Xtreme Budget has helped me realize how much I love clothes! I'm going to make a little 'look book' and attach it to my Workbook.

I use a box cutter so I can follow any shape easily and quickly. Leftover pages get recycled. Love me some Magazine Maintenance!

_________________________

What's next?

*Come Gather & Giggle this Sunday January 29, 2012, from 2-5pm at Ridgewood Chamber of Commerce, 27 Chestnut Street, Suite 1B, 1st Floor, Ridgewood, NJ 07450. We'll make Valentine's Day cards (cuz it's almost time!). We'd *love* to see you, so make a reservation. $10 at the door.

*Wishing Well Weekend Workshop! March 2-4, 2012

We women are always in transition! We move, get married, divorced, raise children, switch jobs. Transitions of any kind -- even good ones -- can leave us feeling lost, alone, and unsure about what to do next. We're here to help.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Last month, wewrote about choosing a word for the year, a one-word inspiration to guide your thoughts and actions for a full 12 months. It's a wonderful way to explore, to focus your mind and heart on a concept you wish to increase. I've seen manydifferent examples of this around the internet and pondered many words that attracted my attention, such as abundance, breathe, growth, dreams, courage, authenticity, accept, allow, and shine. The one that I chose is....

Ask and you shall....

Receive.

I'm not entirely sure why I chose it. It just felt right. Perhaps I need to be a little more open, to take in, to ask for help (A-S-K to G-E-T), to pay closer attention, to slow down. You can't receive if you are distracted, if your hands are busy and your heart is closed, if you refuse to be imperfect, if you are arrogant, if you are fearful. To receive, you must be open and ready and brave.

And to create, you must receive. You must be open to something larger than yourself. You must take in inspiration. You must read and think and watch movies and talk and cook and listen, to drink in other people's brilliance so you can distill it into your own unique contribution. You cannot create from a place of emptiness. You must always be filling the well. To give, you must first receive.

I didn't make any resolutions this year. It seems to me resolutions are false promises we feel obligated to make, vehicles for later use as examples of our weakness or failure. As I thought about the things I wanted to improve in my life, areas I wanted to change -- fairly common ones, like losing weight, and wanting to be a better parent to my kids, and wasting less time -- I realized I was focusing on what I was lacking, being critical of myself, finding ways to make sure I didn't measure up. Instead, this year, I would like to receive. Receive kindness and acceptance and abundance and love. Receive wisdom and help and gifts and good fortune.

I don't want to lose weight because I feel bad about myself and feel I don't measure up to an arbitrary and impossible standard. I want to get stronger and more powerful in my body, to have my best health, to feel good in my body and in my clothes, not to satisfy other people's judgments. What I really do notwant is to feel deprived. If I think about dieting, it immediately becomes about what I cannot have, what I must withhold. So I want to think about receiving when it comes to my body. I don't want to "lose" weight, I want to "receive" health and strength. I want to eat foods that make me feel good, that help me receive energy, and sometimes even comfort. I want my body to be a gift I accept rather than a failing with which I lash myself.

As a parent, I was berating myself for being impatient and irritable, being too busy, for yelling, for being inconsistent. Instead, I would like to receive calm and humor; to receive wisdom and love for--and from--my kids; to receive forgiveness, for their faults and especially my own. I would like to receive my own acceptance of all the things I do right. I read a post about the fact that kids remember the donut, not the hole; in other words, they see what you do give, not what you don't. I want to give them lots of big fat delicious donuts of time and love, and to receive the joy of doing so.

As for productivity, it is so easy to look around at the mess and piles and clutter and to-do lists and feel like I'm failing. It's easy to shame myself for wasting time on tv or games or magazines or internet. It's easy to call myself lazy and weak-willed. Instead, I would like to receive acceptance and tolerance for my attempts to restore my spirit when I'm drained from a full day of work. I would like to receive clarity about what really restores my spirit and what numbs it, and to receive an ease for moving toward what heals me. I would like to receive approval and recognition for all the hard work I do every day. And I would like to receive the ability to discern what really matters and what list should be just crumpled up and thrown in the trash happily unfinished.

The most beautiful thing about the word receive is that it feels like something or someone outside of myself is bestowing that thing upon me. A gift. As if the thing I want already exists, is ripe and ready and waiting for me, and I simply have to accept it. It's right there, I just need to open my hands and take it. No working for it, no striving, just opening. Receiving.

And that's the truth, isn't it? It's right there. All of it. It always has been. It's time I finally start receiving it.

Monday, January 9, 2012

When we went to the Massachusetts Women's Conference early last month, my partner and I were rocked by the powerful speaking of Brene Brown(see her talking on Ted) Martha Beck, and Marion Jones (not necessarily in that order). I was curious then to see what would stick with me; what words of wisdom had staying power. Now, a month later, I feel confident offering these three things that stuck:

(1) Practice. It came with "gratitude", as in "Practice Gratitude", but I'm finding it fits all aspirations: I'm Practicing Patience. Practicing Joy. Practicing Forgiveness (see #3). When you Practice something, it doesn't have to be perfect, it's a start and there is gentleness in it's imperfection.

(2) A-S-K to G-E-T. With my (dominant) right hand and arm in a cast, I have (re)learned repeatedly: ASK FOR HELP. If you don't ask for what you want or need, you won't get it. People can't read your mind. (You really don't want them to anyway.)

(3) Forgive. So powerful, this simple word has become my theme for the entire year of 2012. First and most importantly, forgive myself. Then forgive others. And move on. It's not worth sweating the small stuff. Really.

Honorable Mention goes to Mel Robbins (who gave her speech to 300 of us with the back of her skirt ripped all the way up to her waist): Do the Thing You Don't Want to Do. Nobody wants to take out the trash. Just do it.
_______________________

What's next?

*Come Gather & Giggle this Sunday January 29, 2012, from 2-5pm at Ridgewood Chamber of Commerce, 27 Chestnut Street, Suite 1B, 1st Floor, Ridgewood, NJ 07450. We'll make Valentine's Day cards (cuz it's almost time!). We'd *love* to see you, so make a reservation. $10 at the door.

*Wishing Well Weekend Workshop! March 2-4, 2012

We women are always in transition! We move, get married, divorced, raise children, switch jobs. Transitions of any kind -- even good ones -- can leave us feeling lost, alone, and unsure about what to do next. We're here to help.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

My youngest daughter (let's call her Youngest) is at that stage where she constantly questions "what's that?" and "why?" ad infinitum. Even after you have answered well beyond the point of ridiculousness, she continues to repeat "why?" with what appears to be genuine concern, or to point at the next item (or the same one) repeating "what's that?" with real curiosity in her eyes. It means that reading a book can become an almost existential experience as my mind tries to keep finding original answers to offer to replace the exasperated "Because I said so--now zip it!" that lies on the tip of my tongue. Storytime goes something like this:

"What's that?" Point.
"That's the sound of me banging my head against a wall."
".............Why?"

My Oldest daughter (oh, let's call her Oldest) gets as peeved as I do at the constant interruptions to the intended story line. Sometimes she will "read" to her sister, which means that she recites back books that she has memorized from repetition. She has remarkable recall, but it can be challenged by the constant grilling from Youngest. Usually when Oldest gets asked "What's that?" by Youngest, she'll answer, accurately. But when Oldest doesn't know or can't remember, she doesn't let that stop her. Youngest points to a picture of a hippopotamus, questions, "What's that?" and Oldest pauses just briefly before confidently asserting, "That's a plompf." Youngest points to a picture in a Christmas book, asks "What's that?" and Oldest answers, "That's a shlabn." Eventually, the question always turns into "Why?" and Oldest will continue on with impeccable logic, "Because it hasnfert." Youngest always has one more "Why" up her sleeve, and finally Oldest will say loudly, "I already answered why.......Three Times!!!..... now turn the page!"

No idea where she picked that up.

But really, what beautiful creativity is generated by this annoying little creature I call Youngest. She forces me to think outside the box, as they say. Repeatedly, exaggeratedly asking those two questions "Why" and "What's that?" (Alternatively, "What is this?" or, "What does this want to be?") about whatever you are working on is exactly the way to get to the root of your creativity. It forces you beyond the obvious into things that may not be true, that may not seem to relate, that are ludicrous, that don't exist. It may force you to just make it up, with all the conviction that my Oldest shows with her descriptive nonsense words. No better way to be creative. Apply it to a big question on your life. Keep asking yourself why. Let the answers be honest and unrelated and silly and deep as they want to be.

And then feel free to turn the page.
____________________What's next?

*Come Gather & Giggle this Sunday January 29, 2012, from 2-5pm at Ridgewood Chamber of Commerce, 27 Chestnut Street, Suite 1B, 1st Floor, Ridgewood, NJ 07450. We'll make Valentine's Day cards (cuz it's almost time!). We'd *love* to see you, so make a reservation. $10 at the door.

*Wishing Well Weekend Workshop! March 2-4, 2012

We women are always in transition! We move, get married, divorced, raise children, switch jobs. Transitions of any kind -- even good ones -- can leave us feeling lost, alone, and unsure about what to do next. We're here to help.

Monday, January 2, 2012

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.
~EllenGoodman~

Where is your 'potential'?

I've got it in spades, but for the coming year, I'm thinking specifically about forgiveness.. to myself first. That may sound selfish, but along the lines of only being able to love others if you love yourself first, I've become increasingly aware of how hard I am on myself,... and others. And there is little joy in judgement. Especially harsh judgement.

Loss of joy brings a nasty sense of dread -- foreboding, really: fear, fear, and more fear. I'm not interested in living my life in anticipation of pain, I'd rather live it wide open, vulnerable, and unfurled.

So I'm going to *practice* this year, living my life a little less harsh on myself, a little more forgiving. Plenty of 'potential' there.
____________________What's next?

We women are always in transition! We move, get married, divorced, a raise children, switch jobs. Transitions of any kind -- even good ones! -- can leave us feeling a little lost, alone, and unsure about what to do next. We're here to help.

About Me

Doodlebugheart is a company for women, for self-discovery and fulfillment through creative exercises. Co-founders Deborah Veley and Emily Cline bring their passion, artistry, and humor to it, and invite you to join us!
www.doodlebugheart.com