Friday, June 20, 2014

Fear of Public Speaking

Let’s start by first
asking ourselves the most important question, “What is public speaking?” Does
public speaking mean only addressing gatherings of a hundred people and nothing
less?

No, and herein lies our
first misunderstanding.

Public speaking is simply the process of speaking to a group of people
in a structured, deliberate manner. It is intended to inform, influence, or entertain
the listeners. Hence it can mean speaking to twenty people or hundred people,
whatever the case may be. The important point here is that in public speaking
we share our opinions, views, ideas
with an audience.

So where does the problem
lie? Why is public speaking the most common fear of people, second only to
death?

From my experiences of
interacting with people, I have gathered that one of the most important reasons
of this fear is that we are worried about being judged negatively or
criticized. As in most of our other endeavors in life here too we are most
concerned of what others will think about us. “If I forget, will they laugh at
me?Will I disappoint those people who
know me well and expect a lot? Will they be interested in what I say?”

The fear is all about ME. What if I choke,
what if I mess up, what if I don’t remember.Me me me. When
we are nervous, it is because we are worried about ourselves. I will mess up. I
will lose my train of thought. I will look like a moron. I will be boring. Me
me me.But the minute it stops being about “me” and starts
being about the content and the audience the better you will feel. What we do end up forgetting is that the only way
we can give a good speech or be a good speaker is when we stop thinking about
others and instead enjoy the process of voicing ones thoughts. It is important
for us to realize that the more we think about others, the more keyed up we get
and the result is that we either forget what we had to say or talk in order to
get over with the whole thing. We should never try to understand whether our
audience likes our talk or is waiting for it to get over, while giving a
speech. Looks can be deceptive they say!! We should just enjoy the whole
process of talking before an audience, and that itself will take care of the
rest. The more relaxed you are, the more your audience will enjoy what you
speak. There are a number of tips available
across the net, about how to handle your fear of public speaking, but the most
effective tip that I feel and know from experience is to just practice, be
confident and then relax. The more you practice, the more confident you will
be. Also remember that your audience doesn’t know the full content of your
speech. So even if you forget they will never realize it until and unless you
stop or start stammering. Never just blindly learn the content of your talk.
Always understand it so that you do not have to keep getting worried about
forgetting a line or a word and it will also help in having an interactive
session with the audience rather than a long monologue.The following are some useful questions
and answers which might help you to overcome your fear of public speaking:1. How can I relax while giving a speech?

One
great tip is to take very deep breathes just prior to taking your place at the
podium. This relaxes your body, helping your blood pressure to lower and your
mind to clear.

Another trick
is to pretend that you are all alone in front of a mirror. Nothing can
beat being prepared for your speech. The more comfortable you are with your
speech, the better that you will do. 2. What is the best way to prepare for my speech? Try practicing
the speech in front of friends and family first, before the "actual"
speech. Make sure that
your note cards are very easy to read. (The large note cards are the best
choice. You can even get colored cards now in any office supply store.) Use colored
markers to highlight the main points of your speech.3. What is
the best way to practice for a speech? I mentioned it
above. A mirror can be very useful. Say your speech into the mirror, noticing
what each hand and face is doing at all times. Practice the
words in your head over and over again. Pretend that
you are there, in front of the audience. 4. What can I do if I lose my place and get all
flustered? The best advice
is to be prepared, but even the most prepared person sometimes loses his or her
place. If this
happens, glance down at your cards. Look for the bright color of the next
topic, and move on. Take a deep
breath and smile. Your audience is probably completely unaware of the problem. Adlibbing can
be both helpful and also very dangerous when giving a speech. If your speech is
timed, this may become a problem. Adlibbing can help to get your out of a
sticky situation, though. Quickly get to
the next main point if you lose your place as smoothly as you can. 5. I am too nervous to have good eye contact. What
can I do to help? Find a person
near the middle of the crowd whom you
know or have a friendly relationship with . Look at this person, but be sure to
also look around to the other ends of the room as well . When you look
in other places, though, you can maybe look just above them. This may help.
Later, you will be more comfortable with this, and learn to look into the eyes
of the audience. 6. My gestures look forced, should I leave my hands
at my side. This makes me even more nervous. How can I have relaxed gestures? Speak to the
crowd in a conversational tone. This can take practice, but helps immensely
with your gestures. Try to NOT
think about your hands. If you play
with buttons or put your hands in your pockets, try to NOT wear clothes with
pockets or buttons. Putting your hands in your pockets is a big distraction to
your listeners that you should avoid at all costs! If none of
these works, try keeping your hands at your side, and pinching your index
finger and thumb together tightly. This should help to remind you not to pick
at your clothes.

Hopefully this
article will help those of you who have faced inhibitions before speaking
before an audience to overcome them and emerge a better speaker.

That's a nice one Anju.. I remember the days when I used to choke up whenever I got on the stage.. It was quite a challenge getting out of that. But now, the world looks a lot more colorful :)..I kinda do it for a living now :)

Very nice post Anju ji... I have been your silent reader for all these days. But, I couldn't stop today :) Very well said, I hope many people would gain some confidence reading your article... Just wanted to share some things from my life with you...

I have been a very shy girl and my lecturer started giving me surprise chances to speak in front of a crowd... My first speech was utter flop. But, slowly I had come out of the fear every time I got surprise chances and one day I did a whole day anchoring successfully! So, I realised that the day we forget our fear we would win.

Thanks for letting me to share a part of my life :) TC! Keep smiling :)

Sindhu, I am really touched - thank you for making me a part of your life and your journey towards a confident you:) Anchoring for one full day must have been really challenging. Kudos to you for doing it well and successfully ! Keep in touch:)

About Me

I am a firm believer in Krishna's philosophy of Karma- and as a natural corollary to this belief have worked and lived so as to give grief to as few people as possible while enjoying my life , my work and myself.