And being a single mum, especially in the space I live in, is ” dirtier and scarier and every day is miraculous”.. Exhaustion and joyfulness is perhaps two sides of the same coin ;one which I keep flipping almost a dozen times each day.. It is my everything..

So with a whole lot of days being assigned and celebrated as mothers and fathers and grandparents separately, I’m left wondering why we cant just simplify things and have a common”Parents Day”.. You have a kid or you take care of one, YOU ARE A PARENT– real, surrogate , otherwise, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Sometimes the tough dad has to get all mushy and sometimes the gentle mom has to wear daddy’s boots and holler…

Especially if you’re a single parent, like I am , I find myself changing myself to become mom or dad depending on the situation.. My kid comes back from school and complains of being bullied, so while I’d love to get a “dad’s” point of view , I realize that I just need to figure out a sensible parents point of view.. What would someone who truly loves the child and wants her to be strong and resilient do? While being the emotional mom that I am, I’d love to just hug her and allay her fears,(which I do, for a while), I know that at the end of the hugging session need to provide her with the tough tools.. While I go and discuss with the school teacher I also want my daughter to learn to stand up for herself, armed with the knowning-ness that I will always have her back.. I often wonder and try figuring out if things would have been different if there were two parents in her life instead of just one..and then I realize it doesn’t really matter, because what I do realize now looking at all the other parents around , that we all do the best we can when we are in the deep end and believe that our child and us will eventually reach the shore..

I have had both parents around me, with me,and in my head all these years, and I love them but ,I dont see the sense of carving out one special day to wish them, because , in all these years I realize that they are a team and they mirror each other most of the times.. So I guess I’m just going to make my own special “Parents Day” and give them and myself , lots of love.