Find YOUR Fight Song

My kids and I have a couple of favorite songs…you know the songs that when they come on the radio in the car, all conversation/fighting stops and everyone sings/screams at the top of their lungs. Sometimes if we’re almost home and one of those songs comes on, the kids beg me to drive around the block until its over…and I generally oblige (so if you live in my neighborhood and see me driving around rocking out with a gaggle of kids, that’s what’s going on). One of our favorites is Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song.” I think all of my kids and myself know every word to that one and we can really get into, if you know what I mean. The other day, we were jamming to that song as we pulled onto our street, and I found myself thinking about the words and how they are applicable to everyone. We all have stuff we’re going through that can really get us down and cause us to second guess or doubt ourselves and if we don’t pull ourselves out of that negative place, it’s inevitable that we’ll lose confidence all together and convince ourselves that there is no hope for success. Fight Song always helps me remember to keep fighting and to stop giving in to the negative voices in my head, but for some reason, the other night, it hit me hard and I found myself getting a little choked up and quite emotional. Over the past few months, I feel like I’ve started to lose confidence. I’ve allowed myself to cross over to the dark side when it comes to negative self-talk and diminishing self worth. I lost my workout buddy to injury and I’ve had a hard time committing myself to really hard workouts which has resulted in me no longer feeling strong. For a few years, I’ve wanted to lose some weight, but prided myself in the fact that despite a little softness on the outside, I was still strong underneath. I can no longer say that and it’s really been wearing on me emotionally. Listening to these words the other night, I had an epiphany…

"And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me"

I realized that this is a problem that is fixable. And more importantly, it’s something that can be fixed BY ME if I just stop wallowing in self pity, figure out what I want, make a plan and then get my butt to work (literally). The things I tell myself become my reality and if I spend my time saying I’m a quitter and a loser…then I will BE a quitter and a loser. But I’m not…and although I feel like I “know” that, those sneaky little voices in my head are pretty convincing. You may feel the same way about weight loss. You’ve tried and “failed” so many times that you may be starting out this challenge with doubts about whether you really have any chance for success at all. If that’s the case…stop it now. You HAVE to believe in yourself if you are going to succeed. You have to KNOW you can do it despite any failures you may have experienced in the past. Let go of the negativity and DECIDE that THIS is the time you are going to succeed. I promise it all starts in your head, so here are my steps to changing your inner voice from negative to motivationally positive.

Decide you want to fix it: You must be willing to change. Sometimes we say we want something, but we’re not really committed to the work it will require to get it. You’ve got to decide to be honest and real with yourself and be ready to get a little uncomfortable during the process of change. If you’re not ready…this isn’t going to work.

Recognize when it’s happening: Stop yourself in the moment when you find yourself thinking or believing a negative thought, and don’t allow it to continue. You can’t wait, indulge just a “little” and then tell yourself later that you’ll do better next time.

Have a new set of “truths” to tell yourself:You need something to combat the voice in your head that’s telling you “You’re not good enough,” because that voice is lying. You ARE good enough. So put together an arsenal of motivating thoughts to use in those low moments when you just don’t think you’re going to make it. Write them down and post them around your house and use them when you need them.

Ask for help: Get a support system. Tell your spouse. Your parents. Your best friend…someone who will help encourage you to like yourself more and is willing to be honest with you. Tell them that you’re struggling with negative thoughts and will need their help to change. Ask them to call you on any negativity they hear from you and remind you to STOP it. Ask them to not allow you to wallow in self pity or doubt. You’re going to need help, and the more, the better.

Accept that help: Don’t get defensive when that person you asked for help starts calling you on your crap. When you go shopping for clothes and make a point to acknowledge your muffin top – be receptive to their reminder that you’re not going to point out your flaws or imperfections any more.

Practice, practice, practice: This is going to take time. You’re set in a pattern of negativity and it won’t be easy to break. But, if you look on the bright side (cause that’s what we’re doing, right?), once you change this bad habit, liking yourself will become the habit…and we all know how hard habits are to break.

If you are feeling strangled by self doubt and don’t believe that you can achieve your goals because you’ve failed so many times before…stop it now. You CAN change and TODAY is the perfect day to start.

Check out Fight Song here...and let's use that one match to make an explosion (that only makes sense if you listen to the song)!!

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About the author

Valerie Hendricks is a small-town Idaho farm girl who grew up driving tractors and playing sports. She enjoys spending time with her family, training for triathlons and blogging. She is passionate about helping others learn about and find success using the Lifetime Wellness Challnge program and shares her own personal struggles and triumphs with healthy living at www.lifetimewellnesschallenge.org.