Of course, she claims to not even know what BitTorrent is, but who can believe the word of a thief? Well, as you might expect, the case isn’t exactly a slam dunk. The anonymous 70-year-old was named as part of a lawsuit against multiple users for illegally downloading adult material, but she believes that someone else was using her unsecured Wi-Fi to do so.

Refusing to pay the $3,400 settlement requested by the lawsuit, the woman plans to go to court and explain to the judge what’s what.

“It smacks of extortion,” she told SFGate.com, adding that she’d “throw herself on the mercy of the court” if necessary: “I’d say to the judge, ‘I have no idea how this happened.’ If Sony can get hacked, if the Pentagon can get hacked, my goodness, what chance does an individual have?”

You have to hope that this case gets thrown out in court or perhaps dismissed before it even gets there, thanks to a sudden attack of common sense. Although, admittedly, if it turns out that this old woman actually was the one torrenting porn, and her defense was all an act to play on our sympathies and stereotypes, I will kind of love that.