I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance, i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy, the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow; there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.

For years I use to be so angry at him,nicknaming him "the person I call father,the grinch" and a host of other names.
Growing up with him was tough,for so many reasons but this isn't about pointing solely at the bad.
I now view the "not so good times" as historic points in my life,that without them,it wouldn't have brought me to where I am today.
Knowing him has made me a better individual,for I learned a lot from him and have to admit that it wasn't all...

Nothing lasts forever and I feel that it's slowly running its' course.
There were good times and not so good.
Through it all,I learned a lot about myself.
I look back at therapy as a whole;the places i've been and the things I had to endure.
I'm a better person for it.
For the first time in years,I am beginning to see light,not yet knowing how far away I am from the end of my tunnel but that's alright for me,for now.
Things are beginning to happen for me,in...

I remember the first time my therapist told me about safe place imagery.To tell the truth,I didn't pay it much mind;primarily because I couldn't envision a place that I could truly call "safe."
It took quite some time for me to even close my eyes in her presence.
Once I was able to envision places,they were dark and dungeon-like in appearance;if not totally dark.
I noticed a place in my apartment that I could call reasonably safe and used that image for a while but...

I though that once certain issues in my life over,I would feel much better;dare I use the word "relieved."
This couldn't be further from the truth,yet I still try to put on a happy face.
It does leave me with a ton of anxiety to deal with though.

I don't know whether to embrace it or distance myself from its' existence.
It's sort of tricky,like a catch-22 scenario.

Here I am today; in a different mode.
I decided to delete my previous posting because I seemed to be going off on a completely different tangent.
I'm both thankful and grateful to have come out of the streets because(to tell you the truth) in retrospect,I should've never been there in the first place.
I entered a "world" that preys on the innocent;taking kindness for weakness and exploiting of another person's weak points is likened to ordering the soup of the day....