Ross Brittain

Ross Brittain

By Ross Brittain

Overnight Briefing & General Reality Check

February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day Cockroach:

In what is described as the "perfect" Valentine's Day gift, New York's Bronx Zoo is offering the chance to name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after that special someone in your life.
As the Zoo Web site puts it: "Naming a roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you've noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is. Or maybe it's in recognition of your one and only's virility, or strength in the face of high radiation. You're not afraid to say, 'Baby, you're a roach'!"Editor's note: For $10, your loved one gets a "certificate of honor" explaining that there's a special insect living at the Bronx Zoo with his or her name on it. Not literally, of course. As the Zoo puts it: "Flowers wilt. Chocolates melt. Roaches are forever." Here's the site: http://www.bronxzoo.com/name-a-roach/
--Probably not everyone's idea of a love bug. (Happy Valentines, My little Cock-a-Roachie, Poachie- Poo!)
--Remember... roaches are forever. Even after a nuclear blast.
--30 seconds in the microwave and a little Tabasco... instant snack.
--Attention, single guys: How are you're rebounding skills? Because it sounds like a bunch of ladies are gonna dump their boyfriends today, and you can be right there with the perfect gift: Bug spray. (Maiman)

Gift now, sex later:

29 percent of men and 18 percent of women think giving a gift counts as foreplay.

Wanna make an impression:

--70 percent of women like getting Valentine's Day flowers at work.
--23 percent of women consider practical gifts like everyday clothes of gift certificates to be inappropriate.
--14 percent of women would ditch a guy who gave them money
--38 percent of men would love to get stock shares

Valentine's Day proposals:

--18 percent of people think its the perfect day to propose
--more than 50 percent of people believe proposing on Valentine's Day is cheesy.

Going Chapter 11:

Reports say Borders --the country's second-biggest bookstore-- could be filing for bankruptcy as soon as today. Insiders say more than 200 of the company's 674 stores could be closed. Borders stock dropped 33 percent Friday to 25 cents --quite a drop from last April, when the stock was above $3.

Gossip Central:

Did KATY PERRY have breast implants? A plastic surgeon, who didn't treat the singer, tells Star magazine that it appears that she did because "the top of the breast is too full now. This is a sure givaway that someone has had implants." (Myers)

Stupid people, stupid places:

A budget airline in South Africa wants to send royal bride-to-be KATE MIDDLETON a herd of cows for a wedding gift.
According to Agence France-Presse, Kulula Airlines is following an ancient African tradition known as Lobola. An airline spokeswoman says, "We're more than happy... to be sending him the finest cows we can get our hands on in order to make their happy day even more special."Editor's note: Kate Middleton responded by saying, "Oh, we already have a herd of cows. Can you send a toaster?" (Still)

Off the beaten path:

Science tells us the Earth revolves around the Sun. But, almost a third of Russians say otherwise. AOL News reports a survey by the Russian Public Opinion Research Center shows 32-percent of them think the Earth is the center of the Solar System. The same survey reveals more than half of Russians also think radioactivity was invented by man. 29-percent believe men and dinosaurs lived together at one time --just like on the Flintstones. (Still)

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