May 31, 2009

BABY FOR SALE on Craigslist?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 31, 2009 10:20 AM

Natalya Watson first found the ad that was posted Friday night while she was shopping for baby toys for her own little ones, reports Tampa Bay's 10Connects.

"I came across an ad that said, "Brand new or hardly used," so I clicked on that and saw some lady trying to sell her child," said Watson.

The ad is written by a "single mom", it says, who's "barely 18-years-old." She writes how her career is "just kicking off", so she's looking for a family who can devote time to her daughter. She writes, she will even "sign a bill of sell."

"Why would you sell your daughter, I just can't imagine," said Watson. After the initial shock, Watson got worried about the child.

So, she sent an email to the site's legal services folks. They quickly replied saying they would review the posting and work with law enforcement.

Watson hopes the ad is not real but as a mother, she is not willing to take the chance.

"God forbid, something happened to that little girl, I wouldn't want that on my shoulders knowing it's something I could have prevented."

Juror helps convict woman -- then leaves holding hands with the woman's son

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 31, 2009 09:50 AM

Meloney Lee Jackson was arrested for murdering her husband in March 2008, A Baker County jury took about two hours May 16 to find Jackson, 41, guilty of first-degree murder. They rejected her claim that she shot Kevin Jackson, 47, in self-defense at their Glen St. Mary home the day before their divorce was to be final.

Amanda Daniels of Macclenny was one of the jurors. Five to 10 minutes after the verdict, she returned to the courtroom and left holding hands with Jackson's son, James Wallace,

Turns out they'd dated in 2003 and "met back up" after Meloney Lee Jackson was arrested for murder, reports the Jacksonville Times Union.

" 'There was a girl on the jury that my son broke her heart and now today, she has broken his heart,' " Jackson said, according to the memo.

Now Circuit Judge James Nilon has a legal dilemna.
He could order a new trial, admonish or hold Daniels in contempt of court or determine no action is necessary.

Jackson hasn't been sentenced but faces a mandatory life sentence. She remains at the Baker County jail.

Man records bar beating, posts it to YouTube

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 30, 2009 05:42 PM

William T. Bogan, 26, was inside the bar. He went outside to get his his digital video camera from his vehicle.

Fernandez returned to the front parking lot to confront whoever hit him. Bogan then told people to beat up Fernandez and take his wallet, reports the St. Petersburg Times.

And they did -- while Bogan recorded the fight.

Fernandez then was tackled from behind and landed on the pavement. One man removed the bat from Fernandez's hand while someone else removed his wallet. Then Fernandez was struck in the head with the bat.

Several days after the incident, Bogan returned to the bar with copies of the video. He handed them out and posted the video on YouTube.

Deputies went to Bogan's house with a search warrant and arrested four other men on marijauana charges.

"I'm so thankful that they nailed some of these guys," said Allen Fernandez, the victim's father.

His law firm's web site, incidentally, says it specializes in civil litigation and criminal and family law including drug cases and DUIs.

When the fire department arrived on scene and tried to check on Whitehead, he attempted to put the vehicle into gear to drive away. The deputies and one of the firefighters managed to turn the vehicle off and take away the keys.

Whitehead told the deputy he was unable to find his driver's license, registration or proof of insurance, the report states.

After repeated attempts, he found his registration and proof of insurance.

He refused to submit to field sobriety tests and had trouble finding his shoes and putting them on, according to the report. The deputy finally put one of his sandals on for him, but they were unable to locate the other one, it states.

Getting out of the car, he stumbled and fell against the deputy, pushing him against the wall.
He also refused to submit to a breath test and later asked the deputy to call him a cab.

New creepy, crawly hunting season proposed - with a bounty

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 30, 2009 08:10 AM

"If we can send someone to the moon, we can figure out how to get rid of these snakes," said Wildlife Commissioner Ron Bergeron.

Another wildlife commissioner, Rodney Barreto, offered to put up $10,000 of his own money to get the program started, reports the St. Petersburg Times.

The Burmese python, a non-native species, is considered one of the most damaging exotics to invade the Everglades, as well as one of the most elusive.

Federal officials estimate there could be more than 150,000 of them slithering through the River of Grass.

Some pythons killed by biologists had deer and bobcats in their stomachs.

But beware -- these are strong snakes. Park biologist Skip Snow brought along a big black box to the tour. Out of it he and two other biologists pulled a 16-foot python that they had captured in the park. It took all three of them to hold it down for Nelson, Salazar and U.S. Rep. Kendrick Meek to get a good look.

Finding the pythons may be the hardest part of the program. Biologists have captured some pythons and put tiny transmitters in them, then released them back into the wild to try to track down others. They report several instances where they were standing right in the spot where the radio signal says a python should be, yet they could see absolutely nothing.

Weird.

Photo: [Associated Press / Everglades National Park (2005)]
The carcass of a six-foot American alligator can be seen protruding from the midsection of a 13-foot-long Burmese python after the snake apparently tried to swallow the alligator in this 2005 photo provided by the Everglades National Park.

Abducted? Nah. They had a date with Goofy

> Posted by Liz Doup on May 29, 2009 03:00 PM

Bonnie Sweeten appeared to neighbors, colleagues and other school parents like a woman smoothly juggling the responsibilities of work and family.

But the 38-year-old might have cracked this week when, police say, she drained several bank accounts, took a co-worker’s driver’s license, faked a 911 call about being stuffed in a car trunk, and boarded a flight with her 9-year-old daughter to Disney World, reports msnbc.com.

The call touched off a frantic search for the pair that ended 30 hours later when police handcuffed the Pennsylvania woman as she and the child returned to their hotel at the amusement park.

While cleaning out the men's bathroom, the owner grabbed the tail of a live, 4-foot alligator that had taken refuge in the waterlogged restaurant, reports News4Jax.

"I thought it was a fish or an eel or something, and all I caught was the back of the tail," Joan Peoples said. "I got down and started looking, and he got in behind the commode ... and I said, 'Oh my God, that's a baby gator!'"

In case you are wondering -- this gator didn't land on the menu.

The employees dragged the gator out -- kicking and screaming -- and set it free in Julington Creek.

But at least it didn't end up on the menu.

Photo: Four-foot long alligator found in stall of men's room at Clark's Fish Camp.
News4Jax.com

May 28, 2009

Sex with student: Band director plays up a storm

> Posted by Liz Doup on May 28, 2009 12:45 PM

Looks like Gulf Coast High School band director Robert Austin Hamberg is living history all over again.

Collier County sheriff’s investigators arrested him on charges that he has been involved in a sexual relationship with a teenage band member, reports naplesnews.com

Flashback two decades. Hamberg was band director at the high school in Norcross, Georgia, and abruptly resigned.

The reason, according to court and newspaper accounts from that period, was that on August 30, 1988, school officials questioned Hamberg about his relationship with a 17-year-old student, Dianne Lisa Hancock, who held the band’s top post of drum major.

The girl’s parents contended at the time that Hamberg was having “an illicit, immoral relationship,” with their daughter.

At any rate, the two went on to marry.

They're still married albeit not so happily, according to Hamberg.

He told the girl he allegedly had an affair with that he was having marital problems, according to his arrest report.

The teen told investigators she had been engaged in a sexual relationship with Hamberg since December 2008.

She said the relationship started with flirting, and progressed to making out and engaging in sex acts — including intercourse — multiple times at Gulf Coast High, at Hamberg’s home and inside his vehicle from January to April.

The girl gave cops a detailed description of Hamberg’s home, told them Hamberg wore black polo boxer briefs and used Skyn condoms, and described Hamberg’s genitals and body, mentioning a lump or mole on the left side of his stomach, reports said.

According to a search warrant, investigators collected black polo boxer briefs from Hamberg’s home. They also took photos of his home and body.

There could be more than 2,000 Burmese pythons ranging largely across south Sarasota County within three years unless somebody does something about the growth of the huge snakes, says Meg Lowman, director of environmental initiatives at New College.

After all, 62 pythons were spotted in the Everglades in 2004 and estimates now put their population at up to 30,000, Lowman said.

Pythons lay up to 100 eggs a year and even assuming that more than 60 percent of those do not make it to adulthood, the numbers quickly multiply. The assumption is that there are 10 pythons for every one that has been spotted.

Pythons could turn into a big negative creep factor for economic development, Lowman said. "Perhaps that one is potentially the most damaging to our economy, because I'm not sure that people want to go hiking on trails with hanging pythons."

Last month, the BBC reported a python had pulled a Kenyan man up into a tree; the man avoided becoming a snack by covering the snake's mawing mouth with his shirt. In October, a Virginia Beach woman was found dead of asphyxiation lying in front of a pet python's cage.

"At least we don't have grizzly bears," joked Virginia Haley, president of the Sarasota County Convention & Visitors Bureau.

Photo: AP FILE PHOTO In the Everglades, site of a dramatic rise in python numbers, biologists placed a transmitter in this 10-foot snake in 2006 and released it, hoping to track its movements and find other snakes for removal.

Later this summer, DeCelle will reprise her Penny Pennzoil role by traveling to Pennsylvania to unveil a life-size statue of her as the coy brunette with long, sleek legs and an enthusiasm for petroleum products, reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

"I've been very busy getting ready. I've lost about 10 pounds already," said DeCelle. "Look at the legs that had to be insured. They still look good, right?"

Originally from Buffalo, DeCelle was about 22 when she was selected in 1960 from 68 girls who auditioned for the modeling job. Company officials visited her parents to obtain their permission.

Well, OK, this was the 60s.

"They wanted to make sure I could handle a fork, and be able to entertain about 450 men every night," said DeCelle. "They knew I had the looks already."

At a recent photo shoot, DeCelle showed that her modeling skills are far from rusty.

Winking at the camera, lobbing kisses, fluttering her eyelashes and posing with gold gloves, DeCelle worked it. She didn't skip a beat when a photographer asked her to pose on her bed with an oil can.

"Don't you think this might be a bit too risque?" DeCelle asked. "Oh, who cares. It's all about making oil sexy."

Doctor groping patients is a prescription for trouble

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 26, 2009 01:00 PM

Her story: She went to Dr. Gangadhararao Chapalamadugu, known to his patients as C.G. Rao, for an exam.

Rao, an internal medicine and pulmonary disease doctor in Bradenton, allegedly began touching the woman when he began to examine her.

He removed her breasts from her bra and reportedly began groping her, reports the Bradenton Herald

He then told the woman to turn around and lean against the examination table. He allegedly pressed the front of his body against the woman’s back. He felt her breasts and squeezed her buttocks as “if they were play dough,” according to the report.

He then moved around to the victim’s front and allegedly placed his mouth on her left breast.

Guess who shows a porn movie to teen inmates?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 26, 2009 06:00 AM

Other inmates later told investigators that Kijanka, who they only knew as "Deputy KJ" showed five juvenile inmates -- ages 13 to 17 -- a video of men and women committing a sex act with each other.

Inmates also said Kijanka showed them pictures of his wife wearing a bra and short pants.

When questioned, Kijanka admitted showing the inmates the porn movie and then lending it to the inmates for several weeks, reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

He also said to detectives, according to the report: "Was it stupid on my part? Yes, it was."

Also joining the naughty cops club is Ariel D. Valentin, 31, a Florida Highway Patrol trooper arrested on allegations that he followed a woman to her home, made her strip naked and then coerced her to have sex with him to avoid a traffic citation or a trip to jail.

The woman said Valentin pulled her over after she was involved in a minor car accident near her home in Palm Springs.

After he told the other driver to leave the scene, the woman said she told Valentin that both drivers were fine and she wanted to leave, pointing to her home nearby.

Later he 'fessed up and admitted to Palm Springs police that he told the woman he had to search her within her house.

May 24, 2009

Welcome to Beer Can Beach, a no-frills beach

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 24, 2009 04:20 PM

It's Pinellas County's Redneck Riviera, a spit of sand on the south side of Gandy Boulevard.
It's a beach occasionally called Beer Can Beach. A beachgoer once dubbed this place the Gandy Ghetto Yacht Club and Beach Resort. It isn't mentioned on the web site for the St. Petersburg/Clearwater Area Convention & Visitors Bureau.

Pickup trucks with confederate flag tags on the front and homemade barbecue grills in the back are nestled into the mangrove shade, sending small crabs for cover. Many trucks bristle with fishing poles.

Mary Fields is a big fan of this beach because she doesn't much care for an untanned tush.
"At the other beaches, you can't wear your T-back, you can't have a beer," she says. "You can't drive on the beach or play your music, or bring your dog for a walk."
"If that's the reputation it has," she says, "rock on."

Behind her, a big mixed breed dog on a leash sniffs a piece of flotsam on the beach, lifts its leg, does its business and walks on. No worries here.

The water is tidal-basin warm and murky. The Progress Energy power plant looms directly to the south. Ice cream vendors in vans cruise up and down the beach behind the parked cars, bubbling with those melodious tones: "Do Your Ears Hang Low … "

Linda Csiki is a hot dog vendor here. A short time ago, a man pulled up in a truck a few yards from Csiki's hot dog stand and asked if she could bring him a hot dog. She complied.
"He was wearing a short skirt and fishnet stockings," Csiki recalls with a giggle.

Another time, another customer pulled up and made the same request. Csiki prepared the dog and walked it over to the truck, reports the Tampa Tribune. "He didn't have any pants on," she says. "I did call the law on him."

Marianne Pasha, with the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office, says that only on Gandy Beach could a bag full of cremains wash ashore and few beachgoers raise eyebrows.

Despite the cremains it remains Beer Can Beach.

Photo: Beachgoers enjoy the sun on the stretch of sand along Gandy Boulevard.
Tribune photo by MICHAEL SPOONEYBARGER

But now the $25,000 home Conklin has built in his back yard for Myrtle — the pond that now also holds Chickenbutt and Chickenhead and the other turtles — has become the subject of a city permitting fuss.

Conklin calls it a zen garden.

The City of St. Petersburg calls it an unapproved room addition. They also consider it a "mechanical structure."

If he doesn't comply with city laws, he could face a $500 a day fine.

Giving up what he has created for Myrtle and the other turtles isn't an option, he says.

He'll try his best to comply with the city because his wife, Kim, doesn't want to be in trouble.

But Myrtle and the other turtles come first.

Photo: Ken Conklin says of Myrtle: “It’s just like having a connection with a dog or a cat. …She trusts me and I trust her.”
[CHRIS ZUPPA | Times]

May 23, 2009

Ants are in the kids' beds. And mom is where.....?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 23, 2009 11:00 PM

Why'd Theresa Platt become a mother?

Because she's doing such a rotten job of it.

The Port St. Lucie mom is accused of letting her 3-year-old twins and 6-year-old son sleep in a bed full of ants. The children’s legs allegedly had severe insect bites, some fresh and some scarred over, reports TCPalm.

But it gets worse.

A woman who befriended her told cops that Platt didn’t feed her children properly and hit them in anger.

“I don’t want my kids, you can have them!” Platt is quoted as saying. ”I don’t want to take care of them!”

“There’s an old saying, you can pick your friends but not your family,” Sheriff Ken Mascara said. “These children were dealt with this mother who really had no parenting skills and no sense of responsibility for their well being.”

The mom will fare better in jail where she'll get three square meals a day and a clean bed.

Gillette knew Pearson so he let her in. Brandon Govan, 19, came into Gillette's house behind her armed with a hook knife.

"I told him, ‘I ain't got much money, but you can get what I got. I got to get it all together for you,'" Gillette said, chuckling. "We kept tussling and I kept moving back to where the meat cleaver was. I reached like I was getting my money and I got my meat cleaver."

That's when the conversation ended.

Gillette said the robber didn't say a word as he scrambled through the living room toward the front door.

Gillette didn't know what he would have done if he'd caught the robber. But once he got out the door, Gillette let him go.

"I wasn't going to give him nothing," Gillette said when asked why he didn't simply give the robber his wallet. "I never did get scared. If I'd got scared and acted like I was going to give him what he wanted, he might would have messed me up.

Police arrested Pearson and Govan and charged them with armed home invasion.

Gillette is probably still chuckling.

Photo: TERRY BARNER | The News Herald Two attackers burst through the back door of Morblee Gillette's Panama City home and cut him with a knife while demanding his money,

“They couldn’t wait to leave, got the bags out of the car as fast as they could and literally pushed her out of the car,” said M. Ashley Butler of Aging Safely Inc., the woman's emergency temporary guardian.

“I thought I was doing the right thing, putting her in a safe place until she had a permanent place to stay,” Edwards said. “I didn’t dump her. I love her.”

Home, sweet home -- it's a closet

> Posted by Liz Doup on May 22, 2009 10:06 AM

It worked for Sergio Santos of Delray Beach who lost his job as an architect in January, reports sunsentinel.com.

He negotiated with a Delray Beach landlord to rent a room that's smaller than many South Florida closets — 5 1/2 by 14 feet.

It's so small that he can touch both walls if he stretches out his arms.

"The landlord had a larger place available, but he wanted $350 a month," Santos said. "I asked if he would rent me this small room that has a place for the telephone, Internet and security system. I pay only $150 a month and I love it."

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 22, 2009 08:15 AM

She's the first woman to win Big Feature in the Swamp Buggy Race’s 59-year history, a feat she accomplished again this year.

She comes from a family of award-winning racers and was dating Brian Langford, a Big Feature winner from a racing family.

The Swamp Queen and Mr. Big...

But there was a problem. Mr. Big Feature was married to Eliza Masco, 39, of Naples.

On Aug. 15, 2007 Chesser experienced a different kind of fame.

On that day Chesser’s and Masco’s lives were changed in a fight that involved the man in their life.

They mixed it up and Masco suffered a fractured right eye socket, a broken nose, a concussion, a detached retina, broken teeth, cuts, bruises, and neurological damage. She testified she hasn’t been able to work — she’d done dermabrasions — and can’t drive due to blurred vision, reports the Naples Daily News.

Yesterday a Naples jury found the Swamp Queen guilty of felony battery. She faces up to five years in prison on the third-degree felony she was convicted of, but that’s not likely because she has no record.

Flag flap: Can we just ban them all and be done with it?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 21, 2009 07:00 PM

Well, we've blogged enough about Confederate flag flaps to know the controversy is never going to end.

The latest battle:

The Sons of Confederate Veterans waved the Confederate battle flag as they marched for the first time in a Veterans Day parade in Homestead last November.

Six months later, the Miami-Dade chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has launched a campaign to prevent future public displays of the flag, a divisive symbol that speaks of racial wounds to some and Southern heritage to others, reports TCPalm.

Supporters of the Confederate flag wrote to The Miami Herald.

''I don't understand why, in 2008 as we are all taught to be tolerant, people cannot be tolerant of me as a white Southern man and my right to fly a Confederate flag,'' said David ''Chili'' Baglin of Cutler Bay.

``The Confederate flag is not a symbol of racism to me. It is only a symbol of my Southern heritage that I am proud of.''

The NAACP and black residents who met over the matter were not swayed.

''We're calling a press conference on June 11 at Homestead City Hall,'' Bishop Victor Curry, president of the Miami-Dade NAACP chapter, told an audience of nearly 200 people.

Curry pledged that the NAACP would register new voters and raise the issue of the flag if council members didn't ban it from future parades.

Five of the seven council members will be up for reelection in November, including the mayor.

You can take the mobster out of the mob but you can't...

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 20, 2009 10:45 AM

Joseph Milano, 41, aka Joey Calco, is a former mob hit man turned federal witness now facing two charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and two charges of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

Why?

Well, Joey got ticked off at customers who got ticked off about a calzone.

See, Joey has a Palm Coast restaurant, Goomba's Pizzeria, where cops say he assaulted two customers who were demanding a refund for a botched calzone order.

The Calzone Affair led to the discovery of his former life as Joey Calco. It also exposed the identities and locations of family members to people who want him dead, Milano said.

Milano's defense?

It's hard to kick that mob training.

Milano told a reporter he "reacted harshly" that January night in his restaurant.

He called it an unanticipated byproduct of his past life as a hit man for New York's Bonanno crime family and the Sicilian Mafia, reports the Daytona Beach News Journal.

He said the irate customers, later identified as Jack Kilburne and Richard Capie, threatened to blow up his business and hurt his family and teenage employees.

Milano said one of the men appeared to reach into his pocket for something while issuing the threats and he reacted in self-defense.

In his "old life" growing up on New York City's crime-ridden Bath Avenue, Milano explained, such a moment often meant a deadly game of "Russian roulette" was under way. He said he reacted by striking Kilburne with a gun he kept under the counter.

But the incident in his restaurant "should never have happened," Milano said. "I should have called the cops."

Bet he never thought he'd been saying that.

Photo: N-J | David Massey
Joseph Milano and wife Kristy head into the courtroom at the Kim C. Hammond Justice Center in Bunnell Tuesday.

Love and lust in the Panhandle -- they're at it again

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 20, 2009 10:35 AM

A Crestview mom called the cops after her daughter's ex-boyfriend drove within 500 feet of their house.

That violates an injunction, which doesn't allow him to have any contact with the daughter, who's a minor.

Memo to guys in the Panhandle: This isn't 1850. We notice a trend in underage mating and dating there. In case you can't read the statutes, that's asking for serious trouble.

The ex-boyfriend, who's 20, sat in the bed of a pick-up and "waved and yelled" as he passed the house.

The daughter told police that she recognized her ex-boyfriend by the tattoo on his cheek and that he shouted, "Boom, like I guess he's going to shoot or blow something up," according to his arrest report.

But it's the Panhandle mating call that really caught our attention.

The new boyfiend said the ex- had done "his little redneck scream whoooooo, really loud to where we could hear it" as the truck drove away, reports the Naples News.

Butt crackdown -- and they mean business

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 20, 2009 07:00 AM

"Cigarette butts are the number one littered item in the United States," said Katie Perritt Chiappisi, executive director of Keep Polk County Beautiful, reports the Lakeland Ledger.

Law enforcement agencies such as the Lake Wales Police Department and the Polk County Sheriff's Office Environmental Crimes Unit will be paying special attention to the litterbugs throughout the next few weeks, she said.

"This is a habit that we need to change," she said.

The fine for littering something as small as a cigarette butt is $141.50.

May 19, 2009

Joy ride! Until Daddy pressed charges -- against his kid

> Posted by Liz Doup on May 19, 2009 12:07 PM

Don't mess with this dad.

When his 12-year-old daughter took his car on a joy ride and initially refused to stop for police, he requested that cops charge her with grand theft auto, the Sun Sentinel reports, courtesy of a reader's twitter.

Cops quickly spotted the kid Monday because she forgot a basic tenet of night driving: headlights.

The child disappeared with the yellow Nissan about 10:30 p.m. while her father was visiting her ailing 19-month-old sibling at Plantation General Hospital.

The ordeal started and ended in the hospital parking lot at 401 NW 42 Ave., Rettig said.

She drove south on State Road 7 and made a U-turn, but didn't get far, hitting a police car near the hospital, Rettig said.

"Apparently she drove around and a couple officers tried to stop her and she wouldn't stop," Rettig said. "She ended up rolling into a police car."

When she finally did stop, she tried to flee, but once again, didn't get far, Rettig said.

Nobody was hurt.

Her father is pressing charges because it's the second time she's driven off in a car.

The research shows that mockingbirds -- Florida's state bird, incidentally -- are much smarter than bird experts previously thought. The only other bird species known to exhibit similar behavior is the crow.

As they build nests, raise young and feed on insects, they're paying attention and remember everything that comes near their territory.

"Mockingbirds can recognize a human after only 60 seconds of contact," said Doug Levey, a UF professor of biology. "I would challenge most humans to do the same."

He's got a point.

Do you remember the waitress who served you yesterday?

Photo: Aaron Spalding/University of Florida, file photo
A mockingbird grazes University of Florida biology major Devon Duffy in an attempt to drive her away from its nest on the UF campus. The bird apparently recognized Duffy as a person who had threatened its nest previously.

Lights out for Outlaws Motorcycle Club

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 19, 2009 06:30 AM

So the Daytona Beach police, with the assistance of Florida Power & Light, turned off the power at the gang's more than 80-year-old wooden house because of myriad code violations, reports the Daytona Beach News Journal.

The Outlaws, a notorious gang with chapters all over the world, have 10 days to fix the violations discovered by Deputy Police Chief Steve Beres and a city building inspector. If not, they could get cited and eventually be brought up before the city's code inspection board.

Beres said the motorcycle club will have to hire an electrician and obtain a permit for all the work that's done. "We're willing to work with them if they need our help," Beres said.

When the lights were turned off at the clubhouse -- at South and Seaman streets -- there was only one Outlaw inside the residence, Beres said, a man who goes by "Panhead."

Student duct tapes car because...

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 18, 2009 11:15 PM

He got a 1986 Chrysler Fifth Avenue about a month ago, but it wasn't without cosmetic problems.

Varnadore, 17, and his friends ended up duct-taping part of the vehicle when the back window fell out.
reports the Northwest Florida Daily News.

"One of my friends came up with the idea of going for a world record and covering the whole thing in duct tape," Varnadore said. "I took it one step further and wanted to make it look like the General Lee."

Varnadore said he's a big fan of the old "Dukes of Hazzard" television show.

When the world ends, he'll deliver your mail. Promise.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 18, 2009 07:00 AM

Some folks believe in the Rapture prophesied in the Bible.

And then there's Joshua Witter, avowed atheist.

They need each other.

Now 70 Rapture-awaiting believers have paid Witter to be their post-apocalyptic postman, delivering cards and letters to their non-believing friends, relatives and neighbors who will be left behind when the Day of Reckoning arrives, reports the Orlando Sentinel.

Witter started his website -- postrapturepost.com -- as a joke, a satiric jab at those who see things like the swine flu, economic collapse and the election of a liberal president as sure signs the end is near.

But then he started receiving orders for his merchandise.

Since 2005, Witter said he has sold more than 200 items, most of them T-shirts and coffee mugs, and many of those (he admits) to friends and fellow atheists.

Among the best sellers are the line of I-Told-You-So cards, which sell for $8.

Some who ordered the cards -- Witter suspects they are not actually Christians -- are willing to pay extra to have them sent early as Christmas cards.

"Your hope lies with me. I am your mailman," he vows. "I'll do my best come Hell or high water to deliver those letters."

On the other hand, should the Rapture not arrive in his lifetime, he gets to keep the money, which he promises to use to subsidize his sinful lifestyle.

Photo: Atheist Joshua Witter sells cards to Christians that he will deliver to those left behind after the rapture. (Roberto Gonzalez, Orlando Sentinel / May 15, 2009)

Memo to Pasco County -- have you considered rehab?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 17, 2009 05:52 PM

In less than 24 hours in west Pasco, five people — in five separate incidents — were found passed out behind the wheel in their cars, reports the St. Petersburg Times.

Here are the Losin', Snoozin' Five:

Teresa N. Haley, 24, of Palm Harbor, and a passenger were asleep in a gold 2000 Toyota Solara and "not easily awakened," a report states. Haley told deputies she took methamphetamines and Roxicodone. Haley is accused of punching a deputy in the head, as well as kicking and elbowing. En route to jail, Haley "snored loudly."

A deputy found Erik North, a 28-year-old unemployed man from New Port Richey, sleeping in the driver's seat of a car while still holding a needle with a clear substance in it. North told the deputy he planned to inject himself with Roxicodone.

Daniel M. Martin, a 29-year-old disabled man from New Port Richey, was found reclined in his driver's seat "unresponsive and sweating a lot," a report states. After waking, he admitted to taking methadone, Xanax, Soma and Roxicodone.

A car was stopped in the middle of the road and a deputy found the driver — Joseph A. Wyatt, a 26-year-old electrician from New Port Richey — "passed out in the driver's seat with his foot on the brake and the truck in gear with the engine running." Wyatt was drooling and had fresh track marks on his right arm.

A person saw what appeared to be a drunk driver weaving into oncoming traffic and followed the car into a parking lot of a Wendy's, where the driver passed out. A deputy arrived and found Richard "Rick" T. Pittenger, a 27-year-old from Georgia, sleeping with the driver's door open and the car keys in his hand. After waking up, Pittenger admitted to drinking "a lot" before driving.

If you're heading to Pasco County, we suggest you surprise the locals: Arrive sober.

“This guy should be in Hong Kong,” said Duval Audubon Society president Carole Adams, one of the birders who spotted and identified the plover.

Except he isn't!

Photo:
Roger Clark/Special
This photo shows a bird photographed Thursday at Huguenot Memorial Park in Jacksonville that was identified by members of the Duval Audubon Society as being a greater sand plover, a bird that normally lives in Asia and Africa.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 16, 2009 04:50 PM

He's not old enough to borrow his dad's car and drive down the street.

But he's driving race cars at 140 mph around some of the most famous speedways in the United States, reports the St. Petersburg Times

Chavez, 15, a native of Colombia who lives in Weston, is considered one of the most promising prospects in car racing.

He gained fame when Peter Windsor, owner of the new U.S. Formula 1 team, mentioned him as one of the possible drivers to be recruited.

Chavez, the world's youngest driver with a Class C license from the International Automotive Federation, currently leads the BMW Americas Formula championships, a category that has formed some of the current crop of Formula 1 drivers.

"When I'm on the track I forget about the planet. I connect completely with my car and with myself. It is something that happens naturally," said Chavez.

He tries to lead a normal life, like any other high school student. But unlike most kids his age, he takes care of his nutrition — never eating fast food — and getting lots of exercise.

Last year marked a milestone for Chavez.

For a few weeks, he was able to come face to face with his future as he raced three Formula 1 tracks in Singapore, China and Malaysia.

Sex at school. When did that get added to the curriculum?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 16, 2009 06:00 AM

Reading. Writing. Arithmetic.

And sex.

Yeah, there's a lot of learning going on at schools today but not all of it part of the curriculum.

The latest teacher to get nailed for allegedly having sex with students is Heath Miller, a popular H.L. Watkins Middle School band director in Palm Beach Gardens now under investigation of sexual abuse of students.

Evidently, he was a busy guy.

He kept a memory card at the school that contained photos of Miller having sex with girls.

So he had asked his mistress -- yeah, you read that right -- who's a teacher at the school to remove the memory card from the school's band room so police wouldn't find it, reports TCPalm.

The teacher said she didn't know she was tampering with evidence and thought she was just retrieving Miller's property for him.

She told police she assumed the card might have included nude pictures of herself taken by Miller.

Quite the shutterbug, we guess.

Photo: Heath Miller, who made headlines after he shot an armed intruder in his Wellington home, was arrested by Palm Beach County School District police.

Better sex? Try higher heels

> Posted by Liz Doup on May 15, 2009 11:00 AM

Now experts are telling us high heels are better for your health and your sex life.

The story says that podiatrists are alarmed at the rising number of foot injuries caused by ballet flats and flip flops. They say flat shoes can cause severe foot pain, bunions, shooting pains in the shins, back aches and even arthritis.

But here comes the sexy part.

Italian researchers suggest that by wearing a higher heel, you'll not only have fewer foot problems but better sex, too.

They say the posture you have while wearing heels helps strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 14, 2009 10:00 AM

To Janet Steiner of Satellite Beach, Mighty was more than just a little pet.

For 27 years, the squirrel monkey was like a child to Steiner.

She bought him from a pet shop so she'd have a companion while her husband served in Vietnam.

Mighty was great company. He even had a vocabulary of sounds he used to communicate and was treated as a member of the family, reports Florida Today.

When Mighty died of cancer in 1994, Steiner wanted a proper burial. She brought his remains to Columbia Pet Memorial Gardens in Melbourne

She and cemetery owner Connie Lassiter, now 74, signed a contract stating that the burial plot would be leased to Steiner for "at least 100 years with perpetual care."

Then In June 2008, Steiner decided to move Mighty's remains to a pet cemetery in Okeechobee because she thought Lassiter hadn't done an adequate job maintaining the cemetery and feared for the future of her monkey's resting place.

So now they're in small claims court, where Steiner is suing for the $500 she spent on the original burial and for the relocation of the grave.

Steiner is a frequent visitor to Mighty's grave site. After the 2004 hurricanes, Steiner said upkeep diminished. She said the cemetery became overgrown and that the shade tree was removed. In April 2007, she saw a "for sale" sign on the property. Then, Mighty's grave marker vanished.

She feared monkey business going on.

Lassiter said he held up his end of the bargain, and Steiner didn't give him enough time to clean up from the hurricanes. He also said the cemetery never was for sale -- just his home and two kennel buildings.

So you'll know: Human cemeteries are protected from development, but pet cemeteries aren't regulated in Florida.

If the property a pet cemetery is on gets sold, the new owers can do whatever they want.

Photo: Janet Steiner's monkey was buried on a plot west of Interstate 95 in Melbourne after its death in 1994. Steiner says owner Connie Lassiter hasn't kept up the cemetery. (Rik Jesse, FLORIDA TODAY)

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 14, 2009 06:20 AM

Cops say they found an advertisement in the casual encounters section of Craigslist.

Investigators posed as a married man looking for a "discrete full service encounter."

They described “full-service” as street lingo for sex in all forms by a female prostitute, reports the Gainesville Sun.

Cops negotiated a price of $250 and arranged to meet at a local hotel a short time later. After money exchanged hands between Ramos and an undercover agent, cops say they entered the motel room and arrested Ramos.

Cops searched their records and discovered they had been called to Ramos' home several times to take reports from him in which he claimed he was being stalked or that he had been carjacked or that a man he did not know had broken his windows.

The tae kwon do instructor's reputation took a beating recently when someone sent an anonymous and erroneous e-mail alleging that Carpenter was a state-registered sex offender.

"I am writing to inform you that the owner and chief instructor of this facility is a registered sex offender," said the April 18 e-mail, sent to several businesses in the plaza shared by Carpenter's Family Taekwondo.

The e-mail was dead wrong.

Carpenter isn't a sex offender, and now the sender, if he or she can be identified, could face criminal charges and a civil suit as a result.

So all you folks so anxious to hit the send button know: It's a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by a year in jail to misuse information contained in the state sex offender database.

Carpenter still runs the studio he's operated for seven years in East Manatee with his two teen-age children and wife,

"My wife was a total wreck about it," Carpenter said. "For two weeks, we've been holding our breaths to see how far this has gone."

Suds for your shave. Oh, and suds to drink.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 14, 2009 06:00 AM

Have a cold one on the house. Not at the bar -- at the barber.

Sally Spielmaker, owner of the Roma 6 Barber Shop in Fort Lauderdale said she noticed late last summer that her customers were grumbling about insecurity in a slumping economy, reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

"I figured, you know what? A nice, cold beer just takes the edge off the day," she said. So she put a sign in the window: "FREE BEER" in big, red, capital letters.

Some customers thought she was kidding. But when they asked for their beer, they got one.

Warning: The brew is for paying customers only, Spielmaker said.

And if you look or act intoxicated on the way in, you might find that the shop has inexplicably run out.

She's got plenty of regulars, like Arthur Reynolds, 79, who has no problem with beer on the premises while Spielmaker is giving him a shave.

Panty problems: It's trouble when you don't wear them

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 14, 2009 01:05 AM

At Sickles High School in Citrus Park, page 219 in the new school yearbook is all the talk.

Guess why?

There's a picture of a student with her private parts showing, some students say, reports Tampa Bay's 10Connects.

10 Connects caught up with the 16-year-old in the photo - and her mother Jeanette.

The young girl admits she didn't wear underwear that day but says it was because she didn't want her panty lines to show.

She says she did not show herself like that on purpose, "Absolutely not. It is ridiculously embarrassing."

The Sickles junior says she found out about the photo when seniors got their yearbooks on Monday. She hasn't been back to school since

Hillsborough County School District spokesperson Linda Cobbe told 10 Connects the picture is not revealing at all. "We don't believe there is exposure in the yearbook.... It is a shadow."

"All of the administrators are trying to downplay it and saying I should really laugh it off and come back to school but I've been humiliated," said the girl, who says she won't return to school for the rest of the year.

This brings back every awful, awkward moment we ever experienced in high school. Though, true confessions, VPLs weren't a big issue in our day. We were covered in winter coats most of the time.

Teacher kicks preschooler in the face because...

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 13, 2009 12:00 PM

The teacher is Jean E. Dorvil, 56, who teaches preschool kids at the Head Start program at Charles R. Drew Elementary in Miami.

Mikel Blue is a 5-year-old who needed to use the restroom. So she went during nap time without asking permission.

A big no-no.

She told cops that Dorvil kicked her in the mouth after she returned from the bathroom and was resting on her cot, reports TCPalm

Cynthia Blue said her daughter came home from school that day with a cut on her mouth and blood on her blouse.

''It stunned me,'' Cynthia Blue said. ''Her lip was cut on the outside, and it was bleeding.'' Blue said she asked her daughter how her lip was cut. She replied: ''He got mad at me because I went to the bathroom,'' Blue said.

Cops investigated. One employee told the detective that two other students had complained that Dorvil kicked them earlier this year, a cop spokesman said.

Two boys -- both 5 -- said they had been kicked by Dorvil sometime at the begining of the school year.

Later, during an interview with detectives, Dorvil ''admitted to those incidents, and that's why he was charged,'' Silva said.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 13, 2009 06:50 AM

The folks at Ocean Gardens town house in Cape Canaveral -- they worry about a bunch of birds.

They're ruffled over a gaggle of peacocks that lunch on their flower beds, leave droppings on the sidewalks and porches and squawk day and night.

They've got about 35 to 45 peacocks wandering around the complex, nibbling on the flowers like a salad bar, reports Florida Today

But we gotta hand it to the homeowners. They're not taking a typical Florida approach to getting rid of something you don't like: Just shoot it.

They plan to relocate 30 to 40 of the peacocks, possibly to a farm in South Carolina.

Photo: A peacock in the Ocean Garden area of Cape Canaveral fans out during a mating ritual. Residents are irritated by the birds' squawking, flower-eating and destruction of screened enclosures. (Rik Jesse, FLORIDA TODAY)

Porn convention: Welcome to x-rated Miami

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 12, 2009 09:00 AM

We're a stone's throw from a porn convention in Miami Beach where -- in these uncertain times -- we can learn a new trade.

The organizers offered a very helpful class: "How to be a Porn Producer."

And we loved the title of this lecture: "I've Twittered All Over Your Facebook And Now It's MySpace."

No surprise that this adult convention, called Exxxotica Miami, packed 'em in the Miami Beach Convention Center, with the likes of male porn legend Ron Jeremy and dozens of female stars signing autographs and posing for pictures, the Palm Beach Post reports.

Flasher is caught with his pants down

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 12, 2009 06:00 AM

Because we suspect the workers at a Fort Walton Beach fast-food restaurant are really tired of seeing this guy's junk.

The flasher entered the drive-thru lane but an employee recognized him because he'd cruised through recently and flashed his willie to her at the window, reports the Northwest Florida Daily News

And, you gotta admit, that would make any person memorable.

But this time, a manager went to the window to give the man his food. When she saw his unzipped pants and exposed genitals, she wrote down the license plate number on the white Ford Mustang and reported the incident.

May 11, 2009

The hero wore a t-shirt -- and boxer shorts

> Posted by Liz Doup on May 11, 2009 05:00 PM

What about the dude who stripped down to his boxer shorts and dove into Orlando's Lake Eola after witnessing a car plunge into the dark waters around 2 a.m.?

Our hero!

He jumped in to rescue the driver, 30-year-old Romelli Bernadeze Cainong, who told cops she "freaked out" after seeing someone walk across her path on East Rosalind Avenue, orlandosentinel.com reports.

She accidentally drove into the lake to avoid striking the person, she said.

We read that and immediately thought: Alcohol was involved.

And you know what?

We were right.

Romelli Bernadeze Cainong

Her bloodshot eyes, smell of alcohol and failure to pass all of the sobriety tests showed Cainong was drunk, cops said.

But the good guy in this is Charles Dalton.

Dalton said he was in a taxi cab when he saw Cainong's Honda dive into the lake.

He stripped down to his boxers and jumped in the lake and pulled Cainong from her car.

Cops fround him dripping wet, wearing his boxers and a t-shirt.

Cainong later admitted she had two vodka cranberry drinks at Club Ember in downtown Orlando.

Robber: I wanted to get some street cred

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 11, 2009 11:20 AM

But he has a problem. This rap artist needs a rap sheet to be successful, or so he thinks.

So Gilmore confessed to robbing a convenience store and shooting a clerk in the temple with a BB gun.

During his confession, Gilmore said he had lost his job recently and hoped the robbery would give him "street credibility" as a rapper, said Lt. Keith Kameg of the Gainesville Police Department, reports the Gainesville Sun

Noew Gilmore is being held at Alachua County jail on charges of attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault.

Uh, what happened to "Love thy neighbor" at religious school?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 11, 2009 07:00 AM

Commencement speaker Dr. Thomas Hilgers, an obstetrician from Omaha who Ave Maria President Nicholas Healy described as a pioneer in “gynecological practices that are in line with the teachings of the Catholic Church,” used his address to blast Notre Dame University’s decision to host President Barack Obama as its own commencement speaker on May 17, reports the Naples Daily News.

Calling Obama “viciously pro-abortion,” Hilgers railed against Obama’s policies while likening the president to his own commencement speaker in the 1960s – a young priest Hilgers said later turned out to be “a denier of the Resurrection, pro-homosexuality and pro-contraception.”

Cops: Topless dancer makes money disappear

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 10, 2009 10:00 AM

Things went great when a topless dancer added some spice to a "Cinco de Mayo get-together" at a man's Panama City home.

But on her return visit the next night, it wasn't fun and games.

She brought two masked men with her while the owner was out riding his motorcycle. And there was no costume party going on.

Shortly thereafter the homeowner called the Bay County cops after discovering that someone stole the safe from his bedroom, reports the Northwest Florida Daily News.

His home security system had videotaped a woman he identified as "Michelle" and her two masked buddies.

In the safe: between $500 and $700 cash in one dollar bills; two 18 karat yellow gold necklaces with two matching bracelets and another 18 karat gold necklace, all appraised and valued at $15,000 along with personal papers.

Did crook steal drugs or guns or money? No, he stole....

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 10, 2009 06:00 AM

The robber hit a CVS drug store in Daytona Beach and stole $866 worth dental items, enough to make it a case of grand theft, reports WFTV News 9

"It's expensive, but it's the first time in my career I've known someone to go and steal $800 worth of electric toothbrushes and supplies," said Lieutenant Ron Wright of the South Daytona Police Department.

And he made a clean getaway -- he knew how to avoid the surveillance cameras. A real pro.

May 9, 2009

With friends like these, you're better off with enemies

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 9, 2009 08:00 AM

Take the case of the caretaker for the North Seminole Little League Field who went to check on the Tampa facility. As he arrived, he saw two kids running away.

But a third kid wasn't so lucky.

The caretaker found him trapped by the concession building's burglar bars, reports ABC Action News.

Cops arrived and freed the teen.

He told them his buddies had pulled the bars apart wide enough so he could slip through. He was trying to come back out when the caretaker showed up. The kids let go of the bars and ran away, leaving him trapped.

So the kid left behind wound up behind a new set of bars in the county's juvenile assessment center, charged with burglary.

She kissed. She scratched. A pre-wedding story.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 9, 2009 07:00 AM

There's trouble in paradise.

And they're not even married yet.

When St. Lucie County cops were dispatched to a domestic disturbance call at a residence near Fort Pierce, they found a man with “numerous lacerations on his upper chest, neck, shoulders, left arm and lower back ... consistent with fingernail scratches.”

Man goes hog wild to celebrate his son's release from jail

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 7, 2009 05:00 PM

Cabello, 66, went hunting for a hog to celebrate his son's release from the county jail.

A deputy saw two men walking in a grove at the intersection in St. Lucie County. About 10 mintues later, a sergeant saw a man with a rifle. The sergeant grabbed his assault rifle and ordered the man to drop his weapon, reports TCPalm.

Cabello, from Fort Pierce, said he had permission to be in the grove to hunt, but the property owner and a representative for the property manager reportedly said no one was given permission to hunt there.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 7, 2009 04:35 PM

He was arrested in April 1994 for allegedly performing a lewd and lascivious act on a victim younger than 16, reports TCPalm

A female undercover detective set up an appointment, agreeing to meet Glasure at his residence for a neck and shoulder massage.

But he requested that (the detective) remove her shirt a couple of times during the meeting, an affidavit states.

Two detectives from the sex offender unit knocked on the door and took Glasure, who admitted not being a licensed massage therapist, into custody.

He said he read about how to give massages and is doing this because he lost his job on St. Patrick's Day.

“Mr. Glasure tried to skirt the licensing law by claiming he was performing massages for donations,” Sheriff Ken Mascara said in a release. “That didn’t excuse him from having to follow state law, and that’s why we arrested him.”

New rule! Punch anyone you want

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 7, 2009 03:15 PM

It worked, temporarily at least, for a man locked out of his Calaway home.

Once inside, he punched another guy on the ear and later told a deputy that he had the law on his side.

The man claimed he "hit the victim because he heard of a new law saying he could punch anyone in his home," according to a Bay County Sheriff's Office incident report.

Deputies responded to a battery complaint to find a man with a laceration in his left ear. The man said he was in the bedroom with his girlfriend when the suspect began pounding on the back door and yelling.

The victim and his girlfriend tried to ignore the suspect, hoping he would go away, reports the Northwest Daily News.

The suspect then forced the door open and entered without permission and told the victim to grab his things and get out of the house. The victim refused so the suspect hit him in the ear with his fist, causing a laceration that looked like it would require stitches.

Because the deputy couldn't find the slugger, he filled out a warrant.

Big three auto makers need more sheriffs like this chief

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 7, 2009 07:15 AM

Okaloosa County Sheriff Charlie Morris couldn't seem to find a car he liked.

That's one explanation given for what drove Morris to go through 41 vehicles during the 12 years he spent in office, reports the Northwest Florida Daily News.

"He liked swapping vehicles," said George Wilson, the director of fleet maintenance under Morris. "Sometimes it would be ‘I don't like how my vehicle handles' or ‘it has too much power.' And he would simply pick out another vehicle."

Morris didn't give much thought to how much taxpayer money could be lost by trading in one new vehicle for another.

"The majority of the time he did not pass down his car to another deputy, it was traded in on another new vehicle, taking a tremendous loss on the trade in," accorting to a partner in a forensic accounting firm hired to check out the Sheriff's Office books.

Wilson said his division got about a day's notice whenever Morris was considering buying a new car. A crew would install hidden blue lights in the front grill and a light bar inside each new car.

Gov. Charlie Crist suspended Morris in February after FBI agents arrested him during a Las Vegas gambling trip.

Suspect caught with cash, knife, severed heads photo

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 7, 2009 06:40 AM

Aleman's Jeep Grand Cherokee was gutted. Secret compartments were opened. More than $100,000 in cash was found in vacuum-sealed plastic bags. They also found some cocaine and a large kitchen knife behind Aleman's driver's seat.

Seems that Olmo built an elaborate pot farm -- an underground pot farm.

First tip: An animal control officer, who was called in to secure some loose dogs, noticed the strong aroma of marijuana plants coming from the ground under him, reports the Daytona News Journal.

They found a workbench in the garage of his DeLeon Springs home with a trapdoor in its base, said Brandon Haught, a Volusia County Sheriff's spokesperson. Under the door was a hole in the concrete floor that led to an underground passage, which tunneled from the garage to an area under a large storage shed 65 feet away from the house.

"The crawl space tunnel opened up into an underground bedroom complete with a bed, monitors hooked up to surveillance cameras, a computer and loaded weapons," Haught said. "Another room opened up into a fully equipped grow room with air conditioning, irrigation and a wall panel bristling with wires and electrical outlets."

A second grow room was found beyond that.

There were 219 plants in the grow house -- worth about $1,135,000 in street value.

At FloriDUH headquarters we betting that Olmo had the best science projects in his class.

Tampa is the cat's meow

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 6, 2009 07:30 AM

It's official. Tampa is the new fat-cat city, the purrr-fect place for puddy tats.

Ain't that the cat's meow?

A survey by CATalyst, a group of vets, cat-loving academics, nonprofit groups and industries, as well as animal welfare organizations, has named Tampa the best city for felines, reports Tampa Bay Online.

Factors include how many cats are in the community, the number of veterinarians and how many of those vets are feline specialists. The council counted the number of emergency vet hospitals and even the number of feline behaviorists, which are, sort of, cat psychologists.

The council also looked at how many American Animal Hospital Association-accredited clinics are in the city, how many cat fancy associations are registered and how many cat shows there are.

May 5, 2009

More stunning events emerge from Take Our Children to Work Day

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 5, 2009 01:30 PM

It was Take Your Children to Work Day at the Indian River Correctional Institution in Vero Beach last month.

Now five prison employees have been suspended for shocking at least two children with stun guns when visiting a facility, reports TCPalm.

Yesterday a corrections officer at Franklin Correctional Institution in Carrabelle was fired after zapping children with 50,000 volts of electricity during a "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day" tour last month, reports the Northwest Florida Daily News.

That feels like being zapped with volts that are 450 times as strong as the current in a household electrical outlet.

He told the St. Petersburg Times last week that parents had given him permission to shock the children with an electrical immobilization device (EID), which requires direct contact with the person to deliver the shock.

"It wasn't intended to be malicious, but educational," Schmidt told the St. Petersburg Times. "The big shock came when I got fired."

Woman banned from everywhere but her home and Waffle House

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 5, 2009 10:20 AM

Crystal Cecil was sleeping in her Crestview bedroom when she heard screaming coming from the hallway. She told officers that Jenifer Denise Ewing, 32, was in the hallway holding a crutch and a long-handled knife and began threatening her.

When Cecil told Ewing she had called the police, Ewing ran across the street and threw the knife in a garbage can, the arrest report says.

Florida's holy land, the town of Ave Maria

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 5, 2009 08:15 AM

The 5,000-acre town the religious vision of Domino's Pizza tycoon Tom Monaghan. It's between Naples and Immokalee. It takes 20 minutes to reach Interstate 75 if you ignore the speed limit.

It's so remote that conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh's radio show crackles with static on the AM dial, reports the St. Petersburg Times.

There is a Monaghan museum it the office of Ave Maria Development, overseer of the entire project. Monaghan's credo stares down from a display: "I believe my mission is to get as many people to heaven as possible."

Ave Maria's projected population of 11,000 stands at about 500.

The town is home to one of Florida’s most impressive modern churches. Its interior steel-beam vaulting rises 104 feet. You can see it from miles away.

Monaghan wants to give the massive 1,100-seat church to the Diocese of Venice.
But the Catholic bishop is reluctant to assume the upkeep, including the frightening air conditioning demands. Big church, so few parishioners.

The town's coffee shop is called the Bean and there are pictures of the Virgin Mary on the wall.
The Bean serves up conservative sentiments on its cups: "Tolerance without conviction is the same as apathy" — Chesterton.

But thank God they do serve a cold beer.
The Bean serves bottled beer in a town without a grocery, at least until the Publix opens this summer. And an English-style pub is opening soon. It's called the Queen Mary after England's 16th-century Catholic monarch.

For those who like living in a religious retreat-like environment we say "AMEN!"

Buck naked -- another guy who can't keep his clothes on

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 4, 2009 01:50 PM

Is it us? Or is it the heat?

We're blogging a lot about guys who can't keep their clothes on.

Not that we have a problem with nudity or anything. We just don't want to witness a bunch of saggy, baggy guys flashing their stuff. Sorry, but most of FloriDUH looks better covered up -- and that goes for the women, too.

And that's the problem. These guys go where we have to look.

The latest: a naked dude on Wilderness Trail at Hanna Park in Jacksonville. It's popular with families. Lots of kids around.

So recently two women were there, minding their business, when a nude dude approached.

"My cousin said to me, 'There's a naked man approaching us' and I thought she was joking and sure enough there was. And he came about 10 feet from where we were set up on the beach," the woman told First Coast News.

But here's the best part.

The man started performing a sex act on himself.

The women began yelling at him and one reached for her cell phone to call the cops.

The man bolted back up the trail and ran into the parking lot, escaping capture -- again.

The cop told the women 'This guy's been at it for two years now. And we have yet to catch him.'

We'd love to add our own punchy line here, but some of you guys are far better at this than us.

$18,355 toilet. Wish we were kidding.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 4, 2009 07:40 AM

It's on Samsons Island, a carless nature park between the Banana River and Grand Canal off Satellite Beach.

There's no plumbing but there are strict environmental standards.

So the city installed an $18,335 ADA compliant toilet, reports Florida Today.

But this is no ordinary toilet.

It's a specially designed "composting" outhouse built by the company Clivus Multrim.

Here's how it works, as described by the company: The breakdown of waste is carried out by organisms that thrive within a temperature range of 20-45 degrees Celsius (68-113 degrees Fahrenheit). Chief among these are a wide range of bacteria and fungi.

And also, tiny red worms.

We hope the dozen or so hikers who use the island on a typical weekend enjoy it.

Take our children to work day is a shocking experience for these kids

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 2, 2009 10:01 AM

Especially if your parents work at the Franklin Correctional Institution in Carrabelle.

Sgt. Walter Schmidt wanted to give the kids an idea of what their parents do, reports the St. Petersburg Times.

So he took out a handheld stun device and zapped them with 50,000 volts of electricity -- that
feels like being zapped with volts that are 450 times as strong as the current in a household electrical outlet.

The children, whose ages are not available, reportedly yelped in pain, fell to the ground and grabbed red burn marks on their arms. One was taken to a nearby hospital.

DOC spokeswoman Jo Ellyn Rackleff said in an e-mail, "We believe that a number of children may have received a shock."

Schmidt, the arsenal sergeant at the Panhandle prison, said he asked parents for permission to shock the kids.

"When they said 'sure,' I went ahead and did it," he said by phone.

Schmidt was terminated after 14 years with the Department of Corrections.

"It wasn't intended to be malicious, but educational," Schmidt said. "The big shock came when I got fired."

Doin' it: Teacher surfs ESPN while a student scores

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 2, 2009 09:04 AM

He was too busy surfing ESPN.com to notice that two students weren't just playing games when they snuck behind a bookshelf.

McCoy, a Lee County educational support employee, was supposed to be supervising four students in an exceptional student classroom at Royal Palm Exceptional Center while the usual teacher was off campus, reports the Naples Daily News.

But he was so into the jock stuff that he missed two students who went behind a bookshelf. Then one performed a sex act on the other.

Another employee, however, noticed that a real life lesson -- on sex -- was going on.

The employee happened to look through a window and noticed that whatever they were doing, it wasn't deconstructing Proust.

McCoy received an e-mail one month before the incident asking him to closely supervise the 15-year-old girl because “There seem to be a few issues where she is concerned with the boys.”

He's naked: How's that for a traffic stopper?

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 2, 2009 07:11 AM

We know the perfect spot for Thomas Stewart Martel.

He should live in that west coast nudist resort we're always blogging about.

Last we heard about Martel, 53, he was stark naked at a Dunnellon intersection, according to an 81-year-old woman who said he also exposed himself to a neighbor and a passing motorist, reports the Ocala Star Banner.

A cop spotted Martel, who lives in the Dunnelon area, naked in his front yard and leaning on a fence.

The deputy covered Martel with a yellow blanket and transported him to the Marion County Jail.

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on May 1, 2009 10:00 AM

Among their grand and decades-old traditions is lugging their fox stoles and mink coats to First National's (now Wachovia) fur vault for safekeeping during the humid island summers.

Even their vino. Seems the vault protects the bottles from summer hurricanes and looters.

But now the Palm Beach Rich got a chilling awakening: The deal is off.

Some customers collected their goods grudgingly. One former bank employee said several have threatened that the closing of the vault will mean the closing of their Wachovia bank accounts, reports the Palm Beach Post.

Kathy Harrison, corporate communications manager, says, "We're in the business to provide financial services for our customers and make very efficient use of our time and our resources. And so continuing to maintain a cold storage for furs just doesn't make sense anymore in this day and time."

It cost about $10 per month to keep a coat in the vault, Harrison said.

Photo: Palm Beach Daily News
Island resident Cathleen McFarlane Ross said she believes First National's fur storage service has been around for decades, perhaps since the 1920s, when the branch first opened.

BARBARA HIJEK has spent the best years of her life doing news research in Florida, the most news-warpy place in the universe. She's still passed all her drug tests and remains Prozac free. Barbara graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in her hometown. Talk about culture shock! She is single and has lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past decade. Prior to that Barbara lived in Clearwater for a dozen years. Truly a bicoastal Floridian. And she still can't figure out which coast is wackier...