December 26, 2016

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♪
I'll tell you what
I know about Ted.
What can I say about
such a brilliant mind--
Quite frankly I'm humbled and honored
that he even lets me call him Ted.
- Ted is a an accomplished human being.
- I'm a big fan of who he thinks he is.
- Such a brilliant mind.
- Ted was the first person I ever met
who showed me how to draw
an accurate diagram of air.
Ted is not just my colleague,
he's actually my former roommate.
We shared a dormitory,
and um... he recovered quite well
from the plagiarism scandal
and he's not racist.
Ted and I were colleagues--
We are colleagues.
What changes--
what changes with time.
Ted changed.
Um... I noticed him change.
How he held his head high,
and walked through campus.
It's admirable. Most of us
would've been quite ashamed.
He transferred out immediately,
but he finished out the semester, and then left.
We took a sabbatical together in Greece.
It was one of the great times of my life.
Um... Ted accidentally killed
a man while we were there,
but turned out to be a notorious
aggression thief, a real scoundrel.
So I guess the guy
deserved it in a way.
Ted became sort of a local hero.
Um...
[music stops briefly]
♪
He's not an attractive man,
but he makes...
he makes it work for him.
I'll always remember him
carrying a lot of books...
without a bag.
So, really he wasn't that smart.
I mean, he thinks he's smart.
Confidence is good.
Ted sexual energy is
is incredible. It's notorious.
[Ted] They already have this in Europe.
I don't want to tell tales
out of school right now,
[stammering] but it was a
pretty uh... back in the day...
You know,
word got around, you know.
He's an animal.
Oh God, what would I
say to Ted if I could?
Ted are you watching,
you know, are you?
But um...
Ted is the most punctual
person I've ever met.
I believe he has in him some
kind of metronomic capability,
and a great sense of rhythm
which I believe are interrelated.
If you've ever seen him dance,
- it's just a real show.
- I actually sent him a
letter two years ago.
Haven't heard back.
I-I love him. His books
have inspired me so much
Now, I've never read them,
but the covers are beautiful.
- Ted is my best friend.
- God, if I could go back in time
and do things differently I
would find a way for Ted to be my son,
instead of the son that I have,
because my God...
[sighs]
[male production crew]
If you're ready, we're ready to roll.
I'm ready.
[male production crew]
Ted's ready.
[indistinct crew member talking]
[music stops]