Carolyn Hax: Let daughter-in-law's criticism roll off your back

4:36 PM,
Oct. 17, 2013

Written by

Dear Carolyn: My only child, his wife and two children live a substantial distance away. Both my son and daughter-in-law have highly demanding, stressful careers. My husband and I are self-employed, so we can be flexible. We see our son and his family every couple of months and try to be as helpful as the distance permits. We have, for example, several times gone to visit on short notice to babysit.

Although my daughter-in-law can be effusively appreciative, she frequently scolds me or my husband. I have received e-mails that do not say, "Dear MIL, thank you for your help," but only: "You left the ...