Monday, 3 March 2014

What’s that? Two
alcohol-related festivals in the city of Manchester on one weekend? That sounds
like something I could write a post about. In fact, in the spirit of Harry
Hill’s TV Burp… I like beer festivals and I like whisky (though I’ve never been
to a whisky festival before)… but which is best? There’s only one way to find
out, and it isn’t a fight. It’s a direct comparison across a number of areas.

Yes, we’ve had
product face-offs before, but this is the first time that I’ve had the chance
to watch two festivals battle it out. It’s beer against whisky, father against
son (whisky is made from beer), pints against drams, ales against spirits. This
is going to be great.

I suppose before I
start, we should prepare to judge across some criteria. Here’s what I’ve been
able to come up with:

Price and Organisation

IMBC – There were a
couple of options for people who wanted to attend this – such as an afternoon,
evening or all day session. Mrs Cake and I went for the Friday evening and I’m
told by our friends Paul and Victoria who actually purchased the tickets (in
advance) that it was £11 each. That’s fairly pricey when you compare it to a
CAMRA event.

MWF – I bought early
bird tickets, and that was £40 for both the missus and myself. I’m afraid I
haven’t determined how much full price tickets are, but I think it was around
£30 each.

Value for money (what do you get?)

IMBC – Paul told me
that there had been some promise to provide a certain amount of free beer, but
in reality that wasn’t the case. What you got for your money then, was entry, a
programme and a fancy branded “thistle” beer glass, which makes the beer look very appealing indeed.

MWF – A bit more for
your money on this one. Included were entry, a glencairn glass, a programme and
shop price list, water and a pipette (for ruining your whisky with water), two
white tokens that could be exchanged for special “under the counter” drams,
entry to free workshops (on a first come, first served basis) and unlimited
samples of whisky from the various exhibitors.

Venue

The Victoria Baths

IMBC – The famous
Victoria Baths, known to many for to its inclusion on the Restoration TV programme. This was the first time I’d actually been
there and I have to say; very impressive. Striking from the outside,
resplendent on the inside, and in terms of a venue for hosting a beer festival:
excellent. It reminded me of the kinds of clubs I used to like to go to in my
younger days – clubs where there were multiple rooms, all manner of nooks and
crannies, and you could just wander around all night seeing what you could see.
There was a lot more tiling going on though, which gives it the aesthetic of a
posh public toilet.

The space was used
effectively, and because there were several rooms, people were encouraged to
keep moving around rather than finding a table and fixing their position.

The location perhaps
wasn’t ideal, being in the middle of Victoria Park, outside of town and not
really on any of the bus routes, but the venue itself more than makes up for
it.

MWF –Manchester’s
Bridgewater Hall is an excellent music venue (though it tends to offer
classical and world music more than anything else), and is actually mounted on
springs to insulate the inside from any traffic noise emanating from outside.
All that of course is irrelevant when it comes to the staging of a whisky
festival. It quickly became apparent on arrival that the feel of the event was
going to be a good deal more conferency than
it was festivally, and that I’m
afraid was to its detriment. More talking, less action, more serious, less fun.

Range

IMBC – excellent
selection of craft beers from numerous brewers including Brewdog, Thornbridge,
Marble, Hawkshead and Magic Rock. Having come to appreciate IPA as a genre all
of its own at the Bearded Theory Festival, I decided to focus my
attentions on trying as many of those as possible. I did fairly well, but did
run out of options long before the session was over.

MWF – a good variety
of whiskies, mostly scotch and single malt, but Irish, Japanese, English and
Indian were all represented, too. I tried lots but as ever, I found myself
unable to appreciate the differences after a while, so a feeling of
disappointment crept in. I remember being impressed by Amrut in particular, but
elsewhere mostly non-plussed. Seriously, I swear I like whisky, it’s just hard
to appreciate the tiny dribble you’re allowed.

On the flip side,
there was only one whisky I would describe as particularly bad, and that was
The Whisky Lounge’s Bomb PX, which you can read more about here.
It states that the effect of taking some 15 year old ex-bourbon hogshead
matured Westport and putting it in an ex sherry cash is profound. I don’t disagree: profound-ly
unpleasant.

Food

IMBC – decent
choice, decent quality. I had a pulled pork sandwich on a brioche bun which was
nice, but didn’t really fill the hole. That said, it was sufficient to line the
stomach for the drinking that followed.

MWF – None, as far
as I’m aware.

Facilities

IMBC – Clearly this
venue wasn’t created for a beer festival, but in spite of that it fared pretty
well. There were (at least) three sets of toilet facilities that were clean
enough and available enough. A little queuing might be necessary from time to
time, but what do you expect? It was certainly better facilitated than the
annual Chorlton Beer Festival where they have one toilet for everybody. It is
likely though that the fact of drinks being served in thirds, rather than
pints, went some way to er… relieving us of this issue.

In terms of
miscellaneous facilities, there was a cloakroom but it consisted of one small
rack that filled up double quick.

MWF – um… I didn’t
go. The bladder doesn’t fill up enough on little dribbles of whisky. However, I
have been before, and I think we can assume they were as clean and spacious as
ever.

Experience

Let’s face it, this
is the most important consideration; what was it like? Well, I’ll tell you.

IMBC – This was very
good, in spite of small measures and (in some cases) high prices. I knew as
soon as I saw the kinds of beers that were there in abundance, I’d made the
right choice in coming – though I did ask for a top-up the first time. Sadly,
as I said earlier, drinks were served in thirds, and that meant only the head
went up to the top of the glass.

Nevertheless, it was
rich and tasty IPAs and various other crafty beers all the way. My only
disappointment was that I wasn’t able to try the Magic Rock Dart Arts Soured in Bruichladdichwith raspberries because they ran out
before I even heard it was there. Actually, I was disappointed to miss out on a
Bruichladdich related beer, but less so when I saw it had raspberries in it.

The beers were kept
fresh and cold – unlike at those CAMRA ale festivals where the patrons are kept
fresh and cold and you’re led to believe that beer is better when it isn’t cold
but does taste of vomit. Do you know, I’ve come to realise I don’t really like
those CAMRA jobs; the venues are depressing, there’s not enough toilets,
they’re too busy and they always run out of beer. None of those problems here.

On a personal note,
the only thing that annoyed me was people sampling
things instead of buying them. At one of the bars I was asked for my order,
but knowing there were two girls who had gotten there before me, I indicated
that they should be served first. Then they proceeded to try two or three
samples before making their minds up, keeping me waiting, and didn’t even
acknowledge that I’d done the noble thing. Stop
it. Honestly, you’re drinking thirds.
No beer can be that bad that you can’t finish a third of it, so just pick one.
Frankly it annoys me, people who trybeer
before deciding whether to buy it, as if it’s the only beer they’re going to
drink this year. If any beer is so disagreeable to your palate that you can’t
drink a glass of it you shouldn’t be drinking beer in the first place. Rant
over.

MWF – Clearly
different “festivals” want to attract different clientele. A CAMRA festival
successfully attracts middle aged, beardy people (there’s nothing wrong with
being middle aged or beardy), while Indy Man Beer Con was more for hip,
sophisticated, and just under middle aged people. Either way, both are for
people who want to have a good time drinking interesting beers.

Which brings me to the Manchester Whisky
Festival. The crowd it seems to have
gone for is the serious, geeky type. Now, I don’t blame them for not accepting
bookings from hen or stag dos, but what I do blame them for is fostering a
sterile environment and an atmosphere that was absolutely devoid of any sense
of fun. It was, as I said, essentially a conference. And it was a conference
where, despite being devoted to the tasting of whisky, sobriety was the order
of the day.

Just try getting near this table

Measures (for the
most part) were small – sometimes ridiculously so, like my 21 year old sample
of Highland Park that I had to invest a special token in. I understand you
don’t want people getting drunk and acting like bellends, but I personally
can’t appreciate or appraise a whisky if there’s barely enough to taste it. It
needs to be rested with and enjoyed for a while – if you visit a distillery,
you’ll see that the producers understand about this. It isn’t all that makes it fun, but it does make
it fun.

Another gripe I had
was that attaining samples could sometimes be notoriously difficult. You would
have a crowd of people blocking access to the exhibitors, and in most cases
they were drinking the samples they’d just gotten there – move out of the way.

Then, when you’ve
elbowed your way to the front, there’s two guys asking questions about malt and
casks when all you want is a bit popping in your glass. Again, I don’t blame
you for having questions about the whisky, but the representatives should be
skilled at pouring and talking at the same time. Just saying, like.

standing about

Mrs Cake and I soon
slinked off to a corner of the lower level to sit on the floor, taking it in
turns to go on scavenging missions for samples. There were though, few places
to recline – so it was hardly surprising that people were just standing around
within a few feet of the stands.

So what was good
about it? Well, it was nice to get a chance to try as many samples as I wanted
(though my taste buds do tend to grow whisky blind after a while), and what was
particularly nice was running into some of the people from the Manchester
Whisky Club. That certainly encouraged me to stay for longer than I otherwise
might, because to be fair, I ran out of samples to try in about an hour and a
half. While making one trip I had just done a full sweep, become depressed at the
lack of possibilities, and was thinking of heading back to Mrs Cake to suggest
we do one when I was stopped for a chat. After that I managed to muster the
enthusiasm for a couple of last samples.

The last straw
though was when I went to spend my last token on the special Lagavulin or
Talisker and they had just given away the last drop of both. That annoyed me
inordinately. It was still early, too. Bring enough next time.

How drunk did I get?

IMBC – Not very… the
beer was strong, but the thirds meant that often I couldn’t be bothered to go
back and get another for a while, whereas with pints you would get a good long
time to relax with them, such that you
can face going back to the bar as soon as you’re done. However, I did start the
evening in low mood and picked up considerably after a couple.

MWF – Not very. The
event itself started at noon, but we got there more around 1:30. We stayed for
a couple of hours and didn’t manage to pick up much of a buzz. I suppose that
was the intention as far as the organisers were concerned, but tell me this:
who didn’t pay £20+ of their own money to get a bit smashed on whisky?

How much did I spend while I was there?

IMBC – I spent a
tenner and Mrs Cake spent £20. Not bad at all for a night out.

MWF – Not a sausage.
There was a shop where the various products could be bought, but there were no
specific bargains to be had (not in my potential price range anyway), and
nothing that you couldn’t buy online or from a specialist.

Verdict

I bet you think you
know which way this one’s going, don’t you? Well, let me just start by saying
that I didn’t intend to start griping about the Manchester Whisky Festival.
It’s just that it wasn’t as much fun as I’d thought it was going to be, and I’m
sorry, but I am all about fun – even though I can be a miserable bugger from
time to time. I’m only ever miserable though because I’m not having fun.

Having said that, it
did make me realise how lucky I am to be a member of the Manchester Whisky Club
(though I have since relinquished my membership due to a variety of financial
pressures and my preference of being able to buy bottles to drink at home over
sharing experiences with other enthusiasts). There were a veritable shit-ton of people there who are more
geeky about whisky than I am. I do find it fascinating but, cards on the table:
I want to taste it and enjoy it. I don’t go to a festival to hear that
something was aged in American bourbon casks and is slightly peated. That’s
true of so much scotch whisky that I don’t find it that interesting. Don’t get
me wrong; some combinations of casks, ageing and malting can be interesting, but if 90% of dogs are black it’s going to be
the ones that are other colours that are interesting.

I remember at one
particular stand I asked for a couple of samples and the lady said, “what would
you like? Something peated or…”

“It doesn’t matter.”

There was much to
sample there such that being discerning was futile. Just give me a sample of
one, I’ll come back for the other anyway.

It felt almost as if
the exhibitors expected you to be
asking questions about production and ageing every time you went for a sample,
like it was some kind of etiquette.

So in my opinion,
the best festival was the Indy Man Beer Con. Congratulations to the organisers.
Your prize is that I’ll probably come to the next one, but maybe include a
couple of free tokens next time, eh?

As for the whisky
festival, I probably won’t go again… but then, I might. It was only £20, but I
do find it difficult to appreciate more than a couple of whiskies at a time.

And that's it for now. Thanks for stopping by again and congratulations if you managed to read all of it. I'm afraid, due to being busy this weekend, that I missed my posting deadline again, but I'll try to do better next week. Or rather, this week. Till then, enjoy yer booze.

Definitions

What happens when you zone out after having had a cheeky lunchtime pint.

Alcothusiast:

Not an alcoholic, someone who appreciates booze.

Anxiety, The:

The uneasy feeling that accompanies any noteworthy hangover.

Booze Buffet Mentality:

The propensity people have to go nuts whenever there's a free bar.

Booze Porn:Photos of alcohol.

Bread Chest:Not booze related, but this term describes the indigestion you get from eating too many bread products too quickly. Just putting it out there...

Crawler's Block:The inability to decide where to go next during a pub crawl - often resulting in crawl stagnation and someone saying, "shall we just have another one here?"

Crawl Stagnation:The result of failing to plan a pub crawl sufficiently - lack of a route, theme or over-familiarity with nearby pubs can all be contributing factors.

Excess Induced Alcohol Aversion:An intolerance for a drink caused (usually) by one occasion of overindulgence.

The Family:My whisky collection.

MOMA:

Moment of Maximum Appreciation. Every bottle has one. It's the time you drink it where you enjoy it most.

Old Man Pub:Traditional British pub, renowned for being quiet, cosy and frequented by old men. Much favoured by people who like a nice chat while they drink.Psychological Drinks Cabinet:Collective term relating to the kinds of alcoholic drinks a person has need for.Road Beers:

Cans of beer that you take with you when you go out, to consume on the way.

The 3 Types of Rum:White, gold and dark. Together they form the base of many a great cocktail.

About Me

Neil Cake is interested in all types of booze, but is by no means an authority or expert. Most of the time he's just trying to be funny, but he is learning, and enjoys sharing his adventures and what he learns on the Drink it How You Like it blog.
Thengyuverrymuuuuuch.