Blogger, realist, clarifier, if there is such a term. Truth teller, who's not afraid to admit I'm wrong. Hellacious, renegade violist and "computer whisperer"; was once accused of practicing the Dark Arts with systems.
I'm tougher than most and survived things that would have killed most women. I still love life. I was homeless, now I'm not. Still in the 'hood, though. Nebraska Avenue, 33605. The stories are priceless and endless.

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Sunday, January 13, 2013

#ROW80 1ST QUARTER POST 4 – SUNDAY CHECK IN

O Hai!

Kind of looks like the inside of my head, except for the plastic guy. Okay, and except for all of the My Little Ponys. I think we should change "Sephiroth" to "Cthulhu" or "Zamorak," if "Cthulhu" isn't around. Did you ever notice how blasted hard it is to type "Cthulhu," and why in the Hell

So, what
do I have to show for myself? I’m on cruise-control, so not much, this week.
Another week older and a-deeper in debt, as the saying goes. I am in this weird
kind of stasis, where one minute, I want to go like a bat out of hell, and then
I am just fatigued beyond all reason the next minute. I can’t really
concentrate very well when I’m in this state.

I had a
bout of dementia when my sugar dropped the other night like I’ve never had
before. And good ‘ol JC, being my wonderful man, talked me through it. When
this happens, I know it’s coming and I just have to ride it like a rocket ship.
Stuff starts seeming either too close, or this time everything was way far away
and itty-bitty and had sped up. Sometimes, things slow down, and time drags.
When this first happened, I had a psychotic break; it’s when I first manifested
tremors that were noticeable, last March. But, hey! It’s all in my head; I’m
just bipolar.

These “spells”
last about 10 to 20 minutes and I remember them. They’re generally like Whee!
Happy fun time! Except sometimes, I think I’m going to see God and I’m not so
sure that I’m all ready to go, if you get my drift. But, everything starts
making a kind of sense and I’m so damned hard-wired, that the cat, who is a
chimera cat (ours is not QUITE as dramatic as Venus, but is similar) and has the same colors and patterns as the rice cakes’ packaging and
crackers’ packaging in my pantry, and the clock is always 4 minutes to
midnight. I’m always watching “Numb3rs” on Hulu+ but sometimes, John Locke from
“Lost” is on “Numb3rs” or Charlie Eppes from “Numb3rs” is on “Lost” and the dish towels are the same color as the
uniforms of the football players on the TV that JC is watching and the jewels
on “Bejeweled” always form a match 3 endlessly, until the sugar kicks in, and
everything goes back to normal.

Unless of
course, there is ONE thing that is different. Then, I become immediately
confused and don’t know what to do and all hell breaks loose. Not really, I
just don’t know what to do and I can get panicked. That hasn’t happened in a
while. The great thing is, I know if I eat something with sugar, I’ll be okay
pretty quickly, but this is so exhausting. I’m not a diabetic, but this can’t
be good for a body. My pulse races; my heart rate has gone as high as 120 and
is high anyway. I’m lucky my cholesterol and blood pressure are low. I don’t
want to start ranting about the medical community; what good is that going to
do?

Governor Rick Scott - Beelzebub Party

"The Church Lady" from "SNL" would love this...

I do have
one bit of lovely news. Florida Governor Rick Scott (R) is going to be the
recipient of a gala jamboree-type rally being held by the Florida Association
of Satanists, as they are named and in front of the Governor’s residence! No
word on whether or not Twinkle-Toes is going to attend. I hope my invite is in
the mail and I know; this is just too delicious for words! Maybe Governor
Sparkle can sprout him some horns and hooves, eh? No, he already had them
surgically removed; I’m confused. I just love the fact that there is a group of
kooks out there who will embrace his charming personage. Maybe ol’ Scratch is
collecting his debt early, hmm?

Well,
Microsoft bitches, it’s on. Blogger is still fucked up. Only it’s like a bad
electrical problem in the wiring of my house, or maybe it's gremlins. It sure as hell isn't evil and it isn't mediocre on the best of days My work around is this: quit
stalking me all over the fucking internet and I will quit telling everyone
about what shitty software you write and foist on the world. You and I know that
you write and push crap and that goes for all of your hardware “partnerships”
and I oh wait, I lied. I don’t want your “15 minutes of free tech support.” Don’t insult me. I shit better code than you ever did with a hangover when I was in school, writing QuickBasic. The logic hasn't changed, just your stupid bloated insecure crappy-ass bullshit. Your partners-in-crime, Oracle and Java with their beans got their asses in trouble. It's enough I use your shit. Quit bothering me on every goddamned website I visit. Go haunt someone who doesn't know their asses from their elbows and leave me
the hell alone. Write a slimmed-down OS with no dancing baloney and shiny shit and I might actually write some apps.

I’m
having too much fun with my new merry band of complainers. Some of us use IE (I don't even have IE on my system; that's some insecure shit right there,) some use FF, some use Chrome, we all use Blogger, which is probably a big
mistake, right there. I started out all by myself, then I got like 45 new
friends! I was so excited! Yay! And we were all bitching about the same thing…
kind of. But, the point is, there are lots of random outbursts and asides. I
notice the Blogger wizards are just as clueless as the people there to get
help, so I seem to have found a new source of entertainment! Yay.

This week
will probably see more cruise control, with a post about friendship and what it
means. It turns out it means what we’re willing to invest in our lives. So,
what does life mean to us? Rhetoric, I know. But I wrote lots of rhetoric in
college and won awards for my writing. I never won awards for rhetorical living,
though. Now, I’m trying to put all of the writing about into doing; it is not
as easy as it sounds.

Itinerant violist and computer trouble-shooter for more years than I care to admit. While no longer homeless, still crazy, but with Labels *sigh* a bus-riding Asperger, bipolar-ridden, PD or non-PD, carbon life-form, providing fodder for Medical community. Not even kidding. Still ridiculous.

Acquiring a much richer and fuller experience and finding deeper meaning in day to day life, than I ever learned in a classroom, concert hall, or computer center. I will never believe that things just occur randomly, just monumentally disordered.

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Eventually everything happens on Nebraska Avenue. The pimps have been here, both the real and the political. The athletes and the artists. It's a life, a state of mind and it's home, Nebraska Avenue, 33605, 33602 and 33604.

THE DELIBERATE GOALS OF VIOLA FURY

Working on a project involving many flags

I Haz Home Naow - in Kitty Heaven

My Rent-a-Kitty, has become a Perma-Kitty, Mama, although she passed away, nearly one year to the day that Jim died. She actually adopted Jim first, then me.