'I think of nothing but love. The continual amusement I derive from intellectual pursuits, for which I am always being reproached as if it were a crime, finds its very justification in this singular and unceasing taste for love. For me there is no idea that is not eclipsed by love.If it were up to me, everything opposed to love would be abolished. That is roughly what I mean when I claim to be an anarchist.'- Louis Aragon (1924)

Sunday, February 26, 2006

OSCARS

Crooning on my STEREO: Rainsong by the MOSQUITOS

When you're in the industry, every Tom Dick and Harry talks cock about Oscar nominees. Exactly a year ago a girl from my drama class scored a leading role in a short film which eventually led her to her (or rather her director's) first Oscar win. I thought that was so cool that she did it. And I didnt. WTF.

Anyway, check this. DID I HEAR IT RIGHT? KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IS NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR

Oscar for WHAT? OSCAR FOR BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE FUCK.

Time to question the world. Nominating Keira for an Oscars is equivalent to nominating Josh Groban a Grammy fot Best HipHop artiste of the year. But then again Scarlett Johansson had won a BAFTA in the Best Actress Category in her excruciatingly deadpan i- am- so- impoverished- and- I- need- a- fuck role of a servant girl in The Girl With A Pearl Earring last year. (or the year before. whatever.) That same unoriginal deadfish performance was then emulated in Lost in Translation.

Suddenly an ocean full of male spectators lusted over her constipated portrayal of a tortured flawless beauty.

Nevermind that. I thought Scarlett's case was a tragic definition of amateur screen acting. One fine summer's day, several footie blokes spotted a particular dumb blonde fiddling with a football in Bend It Like Beckham. GOAL. Say hello to KEIRA KNIGHTLEY.

LOOK. THIS "QUEEN OF POUT" CANNOT ACT.

She just bloody CANT, okay? I aint going to explain further.

You know the natural order is fucked up when some dingbat decides to nominateKEIRA KNIGHTLEY alongside JUDI DENCH.

What the crap were the Academy dudes thinking? This is purely an execution of a vile sin. JUDI DENCH IS THE EPITOME OF SCREEN PERFORMANCE IN ALL ITS GREATNESS.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DOES NOT ACT. SHE POUTS.

Get it? If the Academy dumbasses had included ZHANG ZIYI into the Best Actresses' Category, I WILL FLIP.

We are actively embracing a whole new generation of useless actresses who do nothing but BROOD, SULK and POUT

15 comments:

Lyn: Oscars are for loosers! i have heard is much better to win prizes like golden globes or even smaller contests like Pedro Almodóvar won in NYC, but i am quite ignorant in that. I will surely NOT watch Oscars! :-)Dear! the world is screwed up! And you know why! ;-P