While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where ... Read more

1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4. You e-mail your... Read more

An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item.
"Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol."
"Oh," says his grandmothe... Read more

My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things.
While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little bo... Read more

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.... Read more

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called a... Read more

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife,... Read more

- Don't byte off more than you can view.
- Fax is stranger than fiction.
- What boots up must come down.
- Windows will never cease.
- In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
- Virtual reality is its own reward... Read more

- Anywhere you hang your @ is home.
- The e-mail of the species is deadlier than the mail.
- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
- Great groups from little i... Read more

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an unusual old lamp. She picked it up and cleaned it off, and suddenly a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.
The Genie said, ... Read more