Monday, July 28, 2008

Things are gradually improving in my life, but that is not to say that means I'm reaching a point of stability. Far from it, it seems.

First there's the dog formerly known as Nana. Her name is now Kona, and it looks like she's pregnant. The X-rays the vet took on Thursday were inconclusive, but he's 95% positive she's carrying puppies. We do another shoot in about a week, when we should be able to see just how many of the little ones we can expect. Judging by her girth, the vet expects we may be up to our eyeballs in doggies in three weeks or so. Anybody ever midwife a dog before? We need advice!

Yesterday I decided to quit Kung Fu, following yet another 95+ degree, high humidity day that would have been spent outdoors working out. I just can't deal with that kind of heat. I loved the art; I just felt so lousy while there and so sick while driving home. No matter how much water I drank, I never felt like it was a good work out. So now I am no longer bound by the guilt I felt when I would skip on nasty days and am looking for a place nearer to home that is indoors where I can train. I'll post more about that as things progress.

I'm also on the verge of leaving Tibetan Buddhism and going back to my progressive Christianity and Zen roots. Without going into too much detail, the issue of being told that I needed to believe in six planes of existence (two "hells," two "god realms," and the animal and human realms) and a pantheon of divine beings just did not sit well with me. I've written my spiritual director in Virginia (who is studying Tibetan Buddhism) in the hopes that he can help me make heads or tails of the situation. I've never heard of Buddhists stressing belief in anything; normally they say that you have to see if a teaching is true for you and not take anything on blind faith. But that's what I heard on Sunday at the meditation session. Needless to say, I'm a tad confused, stressed, and probably putting way too much energy into fretting about it! In the meantime, I'm keeping my own spiritual meditations and studies going, even as I transition out of chaplaincy and enter the secular world for the first time in 16 years. Very, very weird feeling there.

Speaking of that transition, I've set next Monday for my first day and will be starting my informal training this afternoon. I'm not sure how posting will go once I go over to the new office (assuming I have a new office - nothing is definite). But I will be posting about this and other events whenever I can. For now, though, I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. People keep saying things like, "Well, I'm sure you will be able to pick that up in no time" or "You've probably seen all of this before" in reference to procedures I've never heard of! Basically I've been doing a lot of nodding, grunting, and praying! Wish me luck.