Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Keeping my mouth shut

Sometimes its really hard to sit by and listen and watch others make mistakes. Especially when its in an area that you know a lot about. Can I get an AMEN from the crowd?

Last week, one of the guys that works for me needed help with some paperwork. He needed to take a loan against his 401K. I helped him with the paperwork, and explained what some things meant. In my head, I was thinking "NO NO NO NO NO NO" don't do this. But, I kept my mouth shut, and didn't say a word.

Today, he came into my office super happy and excited. He explained that the reason for his good mood was that the money he took out from his 401K had already come in, and he was so happy because he didn't think he would get it for a few weeks. He told me he was planning to give some money to his mom, some to his son, but he was really excited because now that he had the money, he would take his wife to the fair this weekend. My hands were in my lap, and I smiled and said "Well, I am happy for you, and I hope you have fun!" All the while, my fingers were digging into my thighs, as I cringed inside. Yes, the State Fair of Texas is going on right now, but I don't think it is a big deal, but apparently others do.

Not everyone wants to hear about Dave Ramsey this, and his plan says that. Sometimes I can be a know it all (or a lot of the time depending on who you ask) but he is making a huge mistake in my eyes. I wanted to badly to tell him, to lecture him, and to set him straight according to the path that I think is correct.

Damn.

Judgmental witch, table for 1.

My path, my way, my thoughts, my views, my my my.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is love others and show joy and excitement to them when they need it. To realize we don't have all the facts, and to understand sometimes we are not invited into the conversation. Sometimes we don't get to the be the teacher, advisor, or all knowing wizard. Sometimes, people choose their own paths. And, sometimes, its best to keep your mouth shut.

6 comments:

I'm thinking that must have been pretty hard for you to do... I will say that I do find Dave (although I agree with his plan) a bit judgmental himself at times. Same with Suzie Orman.

I think deep down you knew that his decision was already made - I probably would have just said something like "are you sure this is what you want to do?" and if it was still yes, I would have done what you did. Don't be so hard on yourself :)

I would have kept my mouth shut but it would have been hard because I tend to be nosey (something I need to work on). I would have wanted to ask what he planned on using the money for when he needed my assistance with the paperwork. I do not think the fair is a big deal. Its crowded and everything is so expensive!

Sometimes you just want to yell at people to get your ideas across and tell them that they are doing it all wrong. But at the end of the day, it's their life and they are the ones that will be affected not you. We pf people can't save the world because not everyone wants to save for tomorrow. Sometimes, smiling and nodding will have to do.

Most people don't take kindly to receiving advice they didn't ask for so I think you were wise to bite your tongue. Odds are he would have done it anyway and resented you for trying to rob him of his fun.