It’s a Head Game

Last night Eldest and I had a tough conversation. He played poorly at golf and wasn’t happy about it. Worse, he had to come home and tell his father (a nearly scratch golfer) about his bad game.

Golf is my son’s favorite sport, but messing up is easy to do when you let your mistakes get under your skin. For example, the two water balls on a par three. It just sets the tone for the rest of the round.

Needless to say, Eldest doesn’t do well under pressure like that. “You can’t imagine how hard it is when the three guys you’re golfing with say things.”

“Dude, I totally get it.” Isn’t that what submitting is?

We put ourselves out there for someone to judge. We take our feedback and internalize it. Sometimes we do a good job of keeping our heads up after a rejection. Other times, we almost fold.

It takes guts to tee off in front of others. It takes emotional fortitude to duff a shot, shake it off and hit the next one straight. Golf is a head game. And in a lot of ways, so is writing.

“Mom, writing is a hobby. Anyone can do it. Not as well as you, but they still can.” Whoever says teens are horrible doesn’t know my son.

12 responses to “It’s a Head Game”

Nice analogy! He’s a smart kiddo. Okay, for some writing is a hobby, and some of us are trying to be the next Tiger…okay maybe not. It is tough to keep your chin up sometimes. Great post! Hang in there (I know you’re picturing a little kitten clinging to a tree branch right now). 😉

When I learned to play golf as a teen, I never played the first hole. I’d walk with everyone else until we were out of sight of the clubhouse. It is indeed a pressure filled game. Can’t imagine doing it with an actual audience.

I feel kind of the same about writing – I love it, but it scares the bejeepers out of me too! 🙂

Golf is much more than a head game, because along with the mental aspect, there is an enormous amount of physiological response to pressure and competition – this serves to magnify the mental aspect. So that shot in the water isn’t just an “oh, no” moment. It creates an adrenaline rush, an increased heart rate, jangling nerves in the hands. I used to refer to it (in golf) as The Basketcase Syndrome.

I don’t think the average teen is capable of the mental discipline to think his way out of that. It comes from experience and maturing. But it’s great that he has these experiences NOW, because it takes a lot of practice to learn how to control yourself under pressure.

Thanks for stopping by and posting. Golf is a mature game. It takes a lot of practice and skill to master yourself when playing. I must still be too young to appreciate the nuances : ) I loved your physiological description of what happens. Now I know why I feel like puking when I have to tee off!

My DH, however, just golfed a 31–with a bogey on the first hole. I know you’ll appreciate that little tidbit, cuz you know golf.

Words to Live By

"The concept behind personal integrity is wholeness. When a person is the same without as within, when what others know about him is the same truth he knows about himself, he has integrity." ~William Backus

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I am a writer whose heart beats for juvenile literature. As a mother of four, a devoted wife and the half-owner of two hunting labs, I find more novel fodder on any given day than dust bunnies under the fridge.

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