In other news

It’s was a while ago but congratulations to Lynsey from the Disciplinary Department who married James Kelly in Las Vegas.

Michael Ballack has retired from football, his lawyer has confirmed.

Ballack, 36, had been without a club since leaving Leverkusen at the end of last season, despite being linked with a move to the Australian A-League.

During an outstanding career, he won the German Footballer of the Year accolade three times and played for his country 98 times, scoring 42 goals and captaining the side at five international tournaments.

The Greek economic crisis has led to two football clubs pursuing novel avenues for sponsorship deals.

Paliopygros FC have agreed a deal with a local undertaker and appropriately enough will now be playing in black shirts and shorts with a big purple cross on the shirts.