Hey, hey, hey! Welcome to the Irish Blogger Gathering on Subway Domer. This week, the IBG is brought forth to the brotherhood by One Foot Down. I think they are all assholes for giving me questions which require actual thought and not reactive response.

Dicks.

Here we go…

Just kidding, they be cool.

1. For the first time this season, Notre Dame was outgained in yardage by its opponent. Some have expressed concern that Notre Dame maybe doesn’t beat State without a kick return for a touchdown and an 82-yard interception return. Still, Notre Dame won for the first time this season. What does this win say about this team? Did we see progress on Saturday?

People that argue those points have absolutely no life and no real football knowledge. Notre Dame won the game by 18 points; deal with it.

It says that if Notre Dame can just get out of its own way just a little bit… they will win a lot of football games this season. Even with three turnovers, the Irish physically manhandled Michigan State. I expect and i foresee more of this type of football this season. Yes, even the fucking turnovers- at least a few.

Absolutely we saw progress. We won. It sounds simple and cliche’ enough, but they really needed to learn how to win in 2011.

2. What three facets of our game do you focus on in practice this week if you’re Brian Kelly?

So I am now Brian Kelly…

First, I’m hanging out with Tommy Rees. We’re playing Scrabble, eating popcorn, and making late night booty calls I’m all over his ass about ball protection. We’re going to keep it simple this week, but you must, you must, you must protect the rock.

Now I’m spending an entire hour to finding a new punt returner. I was completely happy with Goodman fair-catching punts until he dropped one. Now I’m lining up 10 different guys (one at a time) to field punts with a group of 9 guys flying down to kill (led by Salvi). We are finding our punt returner.

Finally, I’m getting all of my playmakers together to figure out the absolute best way to celebrate. I mean, if we are going to get flagged, there should be NO doubt about that shit. Throwing leprechaun hands up is old. We are going to be exploring the wonderful world of pyrotechnics and synchronized line dancing. Yeah BOY!!!!

3. Grade the coaching staff and position groups through three games.

Jesus Christ that’s a lot of grades. Akademiks be important yo!

Coaching Staff: B- We’ve seen some sloppy play across the board. Players should be held responsible, but it’s the coaches job to hammer that stuff home.

QB: B- We are on our second QB, and although he is a “winner,” he is still prone to bad throws that end up going the other way.

RB: A Completely disregarding Gray’s fumble against USF. Solid, and a lot of production.

WR: A Michael Floyd.

TE: B- I’ve seen some piss poor blocking, and I’ve seen some great catches. Injuries also count against them.

OL: A Minimal sacks. Running game is productive. No injuries.

DL: A- Getting better each game. Lots of depth.

LB: C+ As good as Te’o is, I still have not seen what I expected from Shembo and Fleming. The Foxy/Carlo Combo is weird, but effective.

DB: D+ Denard Robinson threw for over 300 yards…

ST: C- They are lucky Salvi and Atkinson showed up last week or it would be “D” time. Ruffer missed a FG, and Turk missed the day in class where they taught punting.

4. The season is 25% complete. If you’re Brian Kelly, what is your mantra for the second quarter of the season?

I’m eating shrimp and steak, poppin’ Crystal, and livining life like The Boss. I’m also telling my team to cut it fast and loose. Pitt, Purdue, and AFA. Get after these guys and walk into the U$C game 4-2 and ranked in the top 20. My mantra?… WORK YOUR ASS OFF AND PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL, SON!!!!

5. On Pittsburgh. Did Iowa wrest control of the game from PItt, as was Iowa’s custom last season. Or did Pitt just implode?

Honestly, I didn’t see much of this game. However, I do think Iowa gained control after Pitt started to implode. Hmm…

(a) Do any of Pitt’s players or matchups concern you? Not really. Maybe Street, but Sunseri has to stay off his ass first.

(b) How does ND vs. Pitt play out this weekend? ND bullies its way to another victory. A physical 38-17 win.

6. With three games in the books, this season is one-quarter done. It’s probably no stretch to assume that football writers also enjoy history, and specifically military history. Compare Notre Dame’s one-fourth of a season to a one-fourth complete war. Is it World War I–i.e. are we’re stuck in a war of attrition, with many, many losses still to come? Is it Grenada–have we already seen the worst, with only relatively smooth sailing to come? Don’t feel limited to 20th century warfare. For that matter, no need to limit it to military history–policital, legal, and philosophical warfare is also acceptable.

The Battle of the West Wing Hallway

In 1994, a gang war of epic proportions broke out in Hicksville High School in Hicksville, Ohio. Those halls were ruled by two rival crews: The Trixters & The Hangers. T’s VS. H’s. The Trixters were led by Toenail, 5-Dogg, House, and Dave while the Hangers were led by $crot, Elvis, and Twink. Although the T’s were superior in every way, the H’s owned the West Wing Hallway. They moved quickly, had many supporters, and generally gloated about their clout. The T’s were embarrassed. No way they should have to bow down to those soft ass bitches.

Toenail planted some dope in Elvis’s locker and called the cops. The cops searched the wrong locker. Turns out that the locker was Dave’s and he had several broken pieces of glass that could be used as shanks. Bye, bye Dave.

House saw Twink walking a little to close to his brother Boo-Boo (honorary T) and flipped out. He charged Twink and threw a running haymaker. He also slipped and ended up donkey punching Ms. Jurkewitz, the lesbian biology teacher. Bye, bye House.

The T’s were desperate. everything they did was blowing up in their own faces. Still, they HAD to get these fucking H’s out of their hallway.

5-Dogg saw his chance. Some drama student (pre-Glee cool) dropped her stash of Ho-Ho’s and Chic-O-Sticks right in front of the stairs- by $CROT! It didn’t take long for 5-Dogg to holla over to Toenail to look at the stairs… $crot was bending over to pick the stash up. As he started to come up, an incredible explosion of glitter and Elmer’s glue smacked him right in the face. Toenail just got out of Art class and straight SMOKED his ass.

$crot fell down the two flights of stairs like a baby owned by Michael Jackson. Twink and Elvis were witnesses to all of the carnage (oh yeah, $crot broke his neck and his taint). Those tubby bitches walked away slowly and went down to the Eastside.

There were 3 more battles of this nature. This was the first quarter of the THeWar. The Trixters ended up as the sole owners of all HHS property when it was done.

–You see… ND will overcome their own mistakes to take what is rightfully theirs. (WINS).