While there's nothing strictly bad (although some people do react badly to self-inserts), there's nothing strictly good. It's a bit melodramatic and grandiose, and although it tries to keep it together (and does in some cases), the end result is just…okay. For example, the "trillion parsecs" segments are somewhat interesting, but they add nothing to the tale; they just act as filler.

Outside of the obvious connection to Deus Vulture, this feels less connected to the Third Law canon than the previous tales (cosmic scale stuff is something I rarely associate with the canon). However, I enjoyed the imagery (I'm a sucker for weird sci-fi+fantasy combos) and this is a cool setup for later tales.

loving it so far, as some have already said i really like the imagery and the writing approach you took. although personally i do like a detailed story thats gives me as much information as possible as well. looking forward to seeing where you take this story