Category Archives: Vicious Cycle

And, before we all knew it, these dreams, they’d become, so bruised to, beyond RECOGNITION already…These bruised dreams, what are we supposed to do with them now? They’re, NO longer perfect (compared to in the beginning, when we’d, dreamt them all up, before reality started, KICKING their ASSES???), and, we don’t want, ANY sort of imperfections, appearing, in our dreams, do we? So yeah, we’d, tossed them out, along with the TRASH, on Monday mornings, for the collectors to, pick ‘em all up, and, recycle them.

like this??? Doesn’t, look pretty, does it??? Of course N-O-T, not my photo…

These bruised dreams, maybe, we should, keep them ‘round, who knows, the bruises on them, may eventually, be gone, and they’d all be, good as new again, won’t they? And, tossing them all away, wouldn’t it be risky? After all, it’d taken us, long enough, to finally, start seeing these dreams, slowly, coming true in our lives, and, we shouldn’t just, toss them all away, because of those, itty, bitty, bruises that’s now, startin’, to show, should we???

These bruised dreams, even AS they’d, made their, complete recoveries, they will, NEVER be the same again, because, these dreams will, NEVER get, returned, BACK to the time, before they got, those, blue, green, purplish, bruises, coverin’ up, ALL their, “bodies”………

what reality is doing to dreams, EVERY second of, every day of our lives…illustration from online…

I read across a report in a magazine, “the most widely used phrases came from the Zen Master of the era during 420 to 589, in the west, it’d become popularized in the 1850s, meaning those words one said repeatedly”. In the article, it’d mentioned how those most widely used phrases can have positive effects in communication, that if the working class constantly used the positive most widely used phrases, they would attract those who are similar to them, and naturally, get closer, to success………I’d told my son, since he’d gone into the travel industries, his most widely used phrase was, “I’m sorry”, is this positive?

My son laughed in disbelief, at which time, his cell phone started ringing, it was, the tour guide to Japan, said that two of the guests refused to have the hotpot arranged for them by the tourist agency, that they’d insisted on having pork chops; the leader of the tour worried it might be inconvenient to the restaurant, and feared, that it might be a bad example for the rest of the tourists, called from overseas, to file a grievance to my son, “Your clients, you take care of them.” My son immediately apologized to the tour guide, then, soothed the travelers, asked them to just eat the hotpot with the rest of the group, that after they returned, he will treat them to the pork chops they’d wanted to have.

from the papers…

Seeing how my son had, lowered himself, as his mother, I felt that he was taken. But my son told me, there are people from all walks of life, don’t know how many bad customers I’d come across over the years, this, was merely, a side dish, he said, that once, he’d continually told a client “I’m sorry” a total of thirty-six times, after the phone call, he was, completely, depleted of energy.

That time, he’d taken on a foreign tour group, at the information session, over thirty people came, as he’d collected the fees, some paid by credit card, some paid by cash, all of a sudden, he’d become aware, that there was a tourist, Ms. Lee who’d asked to pay by installments, and asked the others, “are there any like Ms. Lee who are paying by installments?” then, a group of people rushed up to him, and Ms. Lee was extremely furious, “What do you mean? Why did you use my name?”

“Holy! Could she have, mistaken my meaning that she didn’t have enough money that, was why she’d paid by installment?”, my son immediately realized that he’d misspoke, and told her that he’d not meant anything by it, but Ms. Lee wouldn’t have it, still pressed on. And my son, who was then, cornered, can only kept apologizing to her, and as he’d counted to the thirty-sixth time he’d apologized to her, Ms. Lee finally got tired of grilling him, turned around and left, and he’d gone back to his cubicle, and, downed half a liter of water in one gulp.

not my comic…

Afterwards, my son received a call from Ms. Lee’s coworker, told him, that Ms. Lee was scolded by the superiors at the office for NO reasons at all, that she wasn’t in a good mood, that, was why she’d taken her angers out on him, hoped that my son can empathize. My son said, that it was his fault first, that he’d spoken too fast, without taking into considerations that it may affect the way she felt, that he will surely improve the next time.

Although my son said carelessly, that he’d, rolled around the workforce for many years now, and had already become totally immune from everything that happens in the workforce, I can still see, that he was, somewhat hurt. As for his most widely used phrase, did it have any positive influences? I’d thought for a long time, and still couldn’t reach my own conclusions, but, you can never be too courteous, if you’re not closer to success, you would be, a step away from failure, I suppose.

So, this, is when one deals with a customer who’s WRONG, but, because this guy works in the service industries, he’d needed to, lower himself, to make his clients feel better, and this woman took out how she was grilled by her superior at work on someone unrelated to her work, and that just shows how low emotional control this woman has.

“You can’t blame him”, she’d told, all her friends, as they all showed their condolences toward how she got that shiner on her eye, along with those bruised cheeks, again!

Brought up that way, that, was the sorry excuse that she’d used, to rationalize why he would take the downs of his life out on her! Brought up that way, excusing his bad behaviors, how long, can you keep on, lying to yourself? I know how much you wanted to believe in his FALSE promises of how he’ll change, how he will NEVER lay a hand on you, but, by NOT taking actions against HIS abuse, you’re only, getting yourself deeper…

Brought up that way, you’d been, using that, to EXCUSE his bad behaviors, and how many times had he hit you? Gosh, I dunno, let me C-O-U-N-T………Brought up that way, yeah, so, let’s, examine the situations, shall we? So, based off of that way of logic, shouldn’t ALL men who were raised under abuse, BE abusive? But, NOT all MEN raised by abuse are abusive to their spouses (although the occurrences of abuse is higher, than the occurrences of not!).

Brought up that way? So, I can BEAT the SHIT out of someone, when I feel awful about me, if I saw my father, beating on my mother every single night of my childhood? Or, can I say those “accidental” hurtful words to you, because I heard daddy, yelling those mean things to mommy, and, they actually thought, that I was, already, asleep, as their arguments occurred, LATE in the nights?

Stop making excuses already, brought up that way? Yeah, I too, WAS raised up by VERBAL, EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL abuses, as well as SEXUAL molestations, and for that, I’d taken it all out, on my D-O-L-L-S, ‘cuz they can’t fight BACK, so, don’t tell me I don’t know SHIT ‘bout scapegoating here!

We’re all, impacted by this, because they (whoever they may be???) still don’t call it “growing pains” for nothing, do they? Nope!

The debris of childhood, we’re all, feeling the impacts of the destructions, at various stages in our lives, and for some, because they refused to acknowledge, that their childhoods are so FUCKED up (and your point being???), that they needed a lie to live in, and so, they’d made up this HUGE wonderful lie, that they actually had amazing parents who loved them.

The debris of childhood, had you been impacted yet, I had, my life was sent, on that CRASH course, and, I was tossed, from that rollercoaster called my own life, but, I’d held on, refused to let go, and that, was how I was able to survive! The debris of childhood, are you ready, to face it, up front? Can you, handle the truth, that your parents may be like mine: abusive AND neglectful? Because NOBODY can choose her/his family of origin, that, is why all families of origin is a SOURCE of pain for all!

She’d shown up late, to a luncheon with her friends, with her dark shades on, and her face is, powdered, MORE heavily than usual too!

She sat down, took her dark shades off, so she could read the menus, and that, is when her friends realized, that there were, shiners, bruises, on her face and around her eyes.

They all looked at her, in that way, you know, like they got something to say, but before the words came, they’d, swallowed them hard, back down, and so, she’d started explaining to them, what had happened to her…

She said, “He’s a good man who don’t mean no harm, it’s just that his best friend got laid off, and they worked in the same positions in the company, and, he’s stressed out over that, because he feared, that he’ll be the among the next ones, to get the ‘boot’, and, being the sole economical provider, if he’s out of a job, then, we’re, ALL screwed! He’s just, under, a TON of stress lately………”

A good man who don’t mean no harm, but here are the facts, he DID harm you, with his words, his emotions, or with his fists, and feet too, even, and, each time after he’d said those harsh words, used his emotional blackmails on you, he’d always feel oh so god DAMN remorseful, looking at you, with those, sad puppy eyes, and that, is when your god DAMN maternal instincts (and yeah, that, is EXACTLY what’s screwing you ALL over, it’d screwed ME over too, but no more!), kicks in, and he knew damn well that is the way to go too, and so, he’d buttered you up, fed you mouthful after mouthful of his sweetened lies, and, you just, gobbled it right down too (are you god damn FUCKING retarded here???).

A good man who don’t mean no harm? Yeah right, get REAL, if he IS a good man, then, he wouldn’t have taken it all out on you and your children, would he? But, because you watched YO mamas, getting BEATEN up, SHOUTED at, by YO daddies, you in turn, learned from watching, and all of this is still ongoing, without YOU being AWARE of it, wow, how god DAMN FUCKING (and no, NO need to “pardon” me this time!) RETARDED CAN you get, ladies???

And no, I still did NOT make this SHIT up, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

There were cases of sexual molestation that occurred in an elementary school and middle school youth baseball team, the eighteen-year-old assistant coach’s rape on a total of ten victims, the detectives, the social services department, as well as the Department of Education set up a specialty squad to investigate in secrecy, after they’d inquired all the students on the team, yesterday, they’d charged Chen, the assistant coach with obstructions to sexual freedom.

“The assistant coach molested me!”, during the middle of March this year, the primary coach of the team asked the students “do you have any comments or questions?”, one of the students raised up his hands, and others followed, and stated, that they were all, sexually molested too, and that, was when the victim students learned, that they were not, the only one who was victimized, the coach believed that this was serious, he’d immediately notified the authorities, and, as the investigations continued, the D.A. and the Department of Education found, that there were, a total of ten children who fell victim.

The victim students told the D.A., that during January and February of this year, at the dormitories of the team, at the assistant coach’s home, in the hotels, Chen the assistant coach had fellated, had anal sex, and, fondled them. After the case bust open, Chen wrote out a confession, apologizing to his students and the students’ families.

The D.A. found out, that Chen, the assistant coach, because he was an adult, had sexually molested and raped six students, and, after he came of age, he’d forced his students to have sex with him, seven times, and forcefully sexually molested them three time, sexually harassed them twice, the victims were mostly still in elementary school. As the D.A. went to conduct a search at Chen’s residence, they’d found there was a collection of kiddie porn in his collection from online, and, on the fifth day upon being notified of Chen’s bad behaviors, the D.A. believed that he was at flight risk, and that he may destroy the evidence, asked the courts to take him into custody, which the courts allowed for.

And so, this is a man with priors, and yet, god knows HOW many young victims had there been already, and this time, someone decided to speak up (finally!), and thus, end this losers rape, sexual molestation on the younger children.

As I walk towards my house, I see her tottering behind her mother. She is completely oblivious of her surroundings. Her mother is holding her younger brother in her hand. At times she tries to keep up with the fast pace of her mother and at times of her aunt who is also walking along with them. Although the baby is secure in his mother’s arms, no one is bothered if the girl child is indeed trailing them. Maybe she also knows it. Her speed becomes even more. The poor child deprived of nutrition seems weak. She is making every effort to silently grab the attention of the ladies clattering in front of her. As we reach a fork road, the family turns towards left and I turn towards right, I am bound to think. Maybe I am making things up. But it is evident in everything everywhere that the…