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Posts tagged ‘feelings’

In one of my group meditations someone once told me that she felt like she was new to the practice and hence had a harder time sensing where she was holding energy. After we were no longer in a meditative state, she asked me a question and when I was giving her feedback, I inquired, “Can you feel where you’re holding energy—here and here?”

“Well,” she replied, “I can feel it here. And it’s not that I don’t believe you, but I can’t feel it in the other spot.”

“Close your eyes and focus within.”

She did, and then she said, “Oh, I can feel it now.”

I thanked her for showing everybody that sometimes you may not be able to feel something with your eyes open, but in a deeper state of focus it’s a little bit easier. “It takes practice to increase your awareness and sensitivity,” I added.

Later I learned that she had concluded that she wasn’t “advanced enough” or “evolved enough” for my class. She was comparing herself against other people’s experiences or what they had been able to do, and judging herself for her supposed lack of perception… with all of the insecurity that went with that self-judgment.

To illustrate how this wasn’t about how “experienced” or “advanced” this woman was, in the same group there was someone else who’s extremely gifted, empathetic, and really able to feel things—yet later I learned she would often experience frustration because there’s a part of her that really wants to see the energy rather than just feel it. She was caught in the judgment that seeing energy was better than feeling energy.

The fact of the matter is that wherever we are, and whatever our experience is at any given moment, it is perfect, and anytime we get stuck in comparing ourselves with others, we step out of the magic of the moment. Turning off our judgment (including judging ourselves for our self-judgment) and aligning with out heart, we can then treat everything just as information. That way, our self-doubt and tendency to compare show us where the inner opportunities exist for expansion and personal growth. And with that mindset it’s easier to have a fuller, more appreciative experience and to realize that we’re experiencing not only what is perfect but also what is ideal for us.

Sometimes it’s easy to assume that because we started meditating, we’re automatically bound to touch a sense of peace. You think you’re setting the stage for your mind and your emotions to settle only to find the opposite: an incessantly agitated mind, or feelings of anger, sadness or loss welling up seemingly out of nowhere, or physical discomfort. It would be nice if we could always go to the peace but often we encounter that initial layer of mental, physical and emotional “static” when we first begin to meditate. It’s normal for physical, mental and emotional patterns to come to the surface as a result of meditation—it brings consciousness to what is inside of us that we may have tucked away, not fully cleared and/or are looking to heal on a still deeper level.

What to do with this?

Look to remain heart-centered and fearless while in meditation. It can be scary and uncomfortable to feel these parts of you come forward, but remain open and relaxed. Sit and be with the emotion and/or whatever it is (even the emotion of frustration when the meditation isn’t going “how it’s supposed to go”—for that, just let go of any judgment and fear that can accompany and complicate the frustration). Really acknowledge and feel whatever the thought, physical discomfort or emotion is and ask it what it’s related to in your life. Where is it stored in your body? Are there any mental beliefs/patterns connected to this? How does it feel? How has it served you (yes, even the things we do not see as positive can have served us greatly)?

Sometimes just putting conscious attention to it and fully acknowledging this part of you that has surfaced has the effect of “dissolving it”; but you have to be patient to let it really release, as opposed to you wanting it to be done. Ask—is this emotion/emotional pattern ready to be released? There may be a lesson, something that this part of you wants to communicate. Listen for it. When at some point the energy of that thought, physical discomfort or emotion no longer feels contracted replace it with love and allow it to blend into you.

Know that the process of healing, expanding and being more fully aligned with the light gets easier as you go along.