Sex Q&A: I can't orgasm since we got married. What's the deal?

Q.

Since we've been married, my sex drive is flat. The only time I'm sure to orgasm is if we're having sex and there's a chance of being caught. What's happening?

A.

It's interesting that "risky sex," when others are within earshot, intensifies your experience and allows you to reach orgasm. With that thought in mind, perhaps moving in together, getting engaged, and marrying signaled to you the end of an exciting era. This response to settling down is more common in men, but it does happen to some women. At a deeper emotional level, you may think all the romance and passion is gone now that you're committed. It would be a good idea to see a therapist. But before you go, why not try to invigorate your life and relationship? Take out any unnecessary stress and replace it with fun dates, so you both can go out and do exciting things. This can restore a relationship's mojo, which often gets lost in the day-to-day grind. If reconnecting through fun hobbies and interests, plus continuing to spice up your sex life, doesn't work, see a marital counselor.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure