From the desk of the senior vice president of operations and logistics

To: All Staff

From: SVP of Ops and Lgstcs

Subject: Company standards and practices

It has come to the attention of this office that several staffers believe a double-standard exists in this company, and that The Twins are not held to the same rules and regulations as the rest of the company. Just yesterday I received an email asking why Sue in accounting was fired for forgetting to pay the utility bill, while both Twins routinely forget to wear pants and are not disciplined.

Some emails have gone so far as to suggest that I “bring the hammer down” on The Twins, not in the name of punishment, but for team unity, so that we are all held to the same bar.

While most of the lower level staffers are not involved in these decisions, in the name of transparency, I would like to release The Twin's disciplinary chart. All of the members of the Twincorporated board will strictly hold The Twins to the rules outlined herein.

As you can see, The Twins can face serious repercussions if their corporate conduct does not meet our standards.