GRETA VAN SUSTEREN, HOST: The Simpsons spent 15 years as America's favorite dysfunctional family only to be knocked off the charts by a heavy metal legend, who was biting a bat's head before Bart Simpson was even born. It was just a few weeks ago Ozzy Osbourne's family welcomed the world into their home for a reality show that became an instant success. The Osbournes is now the biggest hit in MTV history and the second most watched program in cable behind wrestling.

I met with the Osbournes at their home in California. And I and asked them what all the buzz was about.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

OZZY OSBOURNE, ROCK STAR: I don't know myself. I don't like to watch the show purely because I don't like to see myself in the real world on TV talking. I have a singing voice. And I have… a voice now. And when I see myself like this on TV, I go, I don't like to see myself straight on TV.

SHARON OSBOURNE, WIFE AND MANAGER OF OZZY OSBOURNE: He's seen like half an episode. That's all.

O. OSBOURNE: I end up going, "I feel like a dummy. I look like a dummy."

VAN SUSTEREN: Do you feel like it's an invasion of your privacy, though, or is it fun?

O. OSBOURNE: For me, it's fun. But it's not family entertainment fun. If you're going to the longest party in the world, if someone says, "Greta, we're having a party for five months." You go, "That sounds neat." The first month is great. The second month, you go, "Not caviar again."

VAN SUSTEREN: How about the kids? Do they like doing this?

O. OSBOURNE: My son Jack says — it was their kind of idea. They're going, "It would be great to be on MTV, Dad. Let's go for it." But be careful what you ask for because sometimes you get it. And that's kind of what happened to them. And Jack said to me at one point, "Dad, I'm not ready for this." I go, "It's too late."

S. OSBOURNE: It's been tough on the kids. It has.

O. OSBOURNE: But mind you, they've handled it very well. I'm very proud of the way they've handled it.

VAN SUSTEREN: Are you guys in the tabloids?

S. OSBOURNE: Never.

VAN SUSTEREN: You don't make the tabloids?

S. OSBOURNE: No.

VAN SUSTEREN: You don't make them at all?

S. OSBOURNE: Never have been. And that's why now we've had the National Enquirer parked outside. And I'm like, what is it? What do you want to know? What is it? I'm a spendaholic. He's an alcoholic. My kids swear. Jack is like doing those drug cigarettes right now. What do you want to know? I will tell you. Don't make it up because I will tell you whatever it is. So it's like it is so ridiculous to me because, as I say, like other people in music that are in the public eye, we've always — if anybody's ever asked anything, we say yes.

O. OSBOURNE: It's like we go, "Da, da, da, da, da, da," and we take the mask off and take the wig off and take the beach shoes off and go, "Sharon, that was a real turnoff." For instance, we were coming back from the studio yesterday. And there was this guy dressed up as a chicken. And I go, "We think we have it bad. This guy has got to run up and down Sunset Boulevard dressed as a chicken for money."

S. OSBOURNE: I kind of look at us like the Clampetts because we belong here, but we don't. Do you know what I'm saying?

VAN SUSTEREN: You have got a gorgeous house. It's a gorgeous neighborhood.

S. OSBOURNE: But we're not the run of the mill people that usually would live here.

VAN SUSTEREN: In Beverly Hills.

S. OSBOURNE: Yes.

VAN SUSTEREN: Who are your neighbors? Do you know?

S. OSBOURNE: I know — no. I know one guy is like a mega-mega bucks next door. They have like bought half of Beverly Hills and turned it into a home. I've never seen them, never spoken to them.

VAN SUSTEREN: So they didn't bring a cup of sugar over or a pie when you moved in?

S. OSBOURNE: The other side is the people that we don't like, and they don't like us.

VAN SUSTEREN: Is there going to be a showdown with the neighbors?

S. OSBOURNE: I don't know because we don't have polite chat. It's like, "I'm going to kill you, you are a whore. You're this."

S. OSBOURNE: Yes they do. "I'm going to (EXPLETIVE DELETED) kill him," you know. "And you, you are just a stinking whore." And so we don't get past that.

VAN SUSTEREN: Behind you, I have got to point out that you have got — is that Maggie?

S. OSBOURNE: Maggie. Excuse me, how gorgeous is that?

VAN SUSTEREN: I have to confess Maggie is gorgeous. And Maggie looks very comfortable. One of the episodes has the animals as running the roost and having a hard time training them. Are they now a little bit better educated?

O. OSBOURNE: No.

VAN SUSTEREN: And who runs the house?

O. OSBOURNE: Minnie.

S. OSBOURNE: Minnie.

VAN SUSTEREN: Neither one of you?

O. OSBOURNE: No.

S. OSBOURNE: No, it's Minnie.

VAN SUSTEREN: Who has decorated this house? This is a magnificent house. You did this yourself, Sharon? Every last bit of it?

S. OSBOURNE: I didn't make the curtains, but...

VAN SUSTEREN: But you picked it out?

S. OSBOURNE: Yes.

VAN SUSTEREN: Who did you buy the house from?

S. OSBOURNE: A gentleman by the name of Mr. Bongo.

(CROSSTALK)

S. OSBOURNE: Mr. Bongo was from the Congo. And he owned some country in the Congo. And he was president of his own company.

O. OSBOURNE: And he was a big — apparently, we heard he was good friends with Michael Jackson. So that says a lot.

VAN SUSTEREN: Do you follow the news? Do you watch like the...

O. OSBOURNE: I love it. I'm a news buff.

S. OSBOURNE: That's all we do.

VAN SUSTEREN: Do you watch FOX?

S. OSBOURNE: Of course.

O. OSBOURNE: THE FACTOR. I love THE FACTOR.

S. OSBOURNE: Of course, we do.

VAN SUSTEREN: How about ON THE RECORD WITH GRETA VAN SUSTEREN? Do you watch that?

S. OSBOURNE: We love you.

O. OSBOURNE: I only just recently — I only recently found you...

VAN SUSTEREN: That's the right answer, Sharon.

O. OSBOURNE: ... I only just recently found out you'd moved from CNN to Fox.

S. OSBOURNE: He was still thinking he was watching CNN.

O. OSBOURNE: When?

S. OSBOURNE: He thought it was CNN.

O. OSBOURNE: I can't click the thing. I'm like banging it and thinking, oh, that's CNN. And you have your own show on CNN. And then — why is THE O'REILLY FACTOR coming on after? And I was saying that to Sharon. And she goes, "It's FOX. She's moved to FOX." And I go, "Oh, you can do that, can you?"

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VAN SUSTEREN: We'll have more with the Osbournes tomorrow night.

Click here to order the entire transcript of the April 8, 2002 edition of On the Record.

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