5 Types of Friendships to Avoid

Prince EA has an incredible YouTube video, called “Why I Got Rid of Most of My Friends” (see below) – in this video he discusses avoiding “GMO people”, and instead, surrounding yourself with those who love you, and elevate you to be the best version of yourself.

It is believed that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and it is crucial to spend your time with those that elevate, as opposed to drain, and give you joy, instead of just dumping their complaints on you.

The list below are 5 types of friends to avoid at all costs from Just My Type (see full list of 10 to avoid by clicking here), in order to allow your time to be used well, instead of having others use you for your time.

1) “The Energy Vampire”: After spending time with this person, you feel drained. The conversation usually revolves around their problems and complaints. They will provide an emotional “dump” on you in order to release and feel better. Problem is, that energy ends up making a withdrawal from your energy reserve, and you have nothing left to give after. If you are consistently exhausted after spending time with someone, know that the consequence is that you will have nothing left to give yourself and the people you love.

2) “The Taker”: According to author of Give and Take, by Adam Grant, there are three types of people: takers, givers and matchers. I think that your capacity to give is really determined at a young age, and it becomes a part of your DNA. There are some people, who just constantly take, and that is just their way of life. If you are someone who is always generous and giving, these people will know no bounds when taking from you. They likely don’t even recognize that they are taking as it’s their norm nor is reciprocity a part of their thought process.

3) “The One Man Show”: This person is the star of his or her own show. Therefore, everything from the conversations to the cast (this includes you) must revolve around them. This is the friend who will happily talk for hours about their problems, and when it comes to your turn to talk, they will interrupt and maneuver the conversation to go back to them. This person may be well intentioned, but they cannot help but center everything around “me, me, me”.

4) “The Friend Who Secretly Hates You”: This friend cheers you on, exclamation points and happy face emoticons included. But in reality, they secretly just don’t like you nor want the best for. Be careful; because these people may want to appear like your friend due to strategic and calculative reasons and will likely mask their true feelings with eagerness and compliments. Your intuition always knows.

5) “The Calculator”: This friend is always keeping score and if your tally is not adding up, then they resent you for it. This is the one who deep down is afraid of getting shorted, so they have created coping mechanisms to make sure nobody gets more than what they give. The problem with this type of friend is that their acts of giving do not come from a genuine place. When dealing with calculative energy, you may end up adjusting your generosity too, as it creates a dynamic where you feel like you have to constantly keep score.

While politely removing yourself from the energies of these friends may be difficult, and feelings of resentment and disappointment may present themselves – sometimes we have to take a step forward, in order for others to take a step back and see the error of their ways (ourselves included). It is important to remain mindful, and still give love to everyone in your life. However, sometimes it is best to love from afar, and give gratitude for the lessons, because learning how not to be is priceless.

Aissatou Sunjata

April 27, 2016 at 6:05 pm

Thanks for giving me confirmation that the relationships I ended were draining and not emotionally or intellectually healthy for me. I had an energy vampire, a taker, a one woman show ALL in one person. I had an energy vampire; a taker in separate people. Yes, I am empathetic and a giver and ALL of those folks were difficult for me to end the relationships, but well worth doing so. I can see daylight in my spirit again. Thank you again.