(RNS) It’s been five years now that Talat Hamdani has been able to talk about her son without crying, but she still prefers mostly not to tell his story.

“It’s all over the Internet,” she said.

She’s stopped talking about how she initially didn’t worry when her son, Mohammad Salman Hamdani, who was a cadet with the New York City Police Department, didn’t answer his cellphone that night; about how police questioned her and her husband when authorities couldn’t find their son’s body, to see if he had any terrorist connections; about the New York Post headline a month after the attacks — “Missing – Or Hiding? – Mystery Of NYPD Cadet From Pakistan,” that cast him as a suspect in the 9/11 attacks.

She’s mostly stopped talking, but she’s still fighting for the recognition she says is due her son.

Hamdani’s remains were found five months after 9/11 at Ground Zero, next to his medical kit. He had been headed to his job as a research technician at Rockefeller University in midtown Manhattan but apparently detoured to the World Trade Center, voluntarily, to help.

Hamdani received full police honors at his 2002 funeral, where Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly both praised his heroics. His name was cited in the Patriot Act as an example of Muslim American valor, and on the first anniversary of 9/11, Kelly presented Talat Hamdani with a police shield in her son’s honor.

NYPD officials promised they would “always be there” for her. “But everybody disappeared,” she said.

Hamdani’s name was left off the NYPD’s official 9/11 memorial, and there’s no mention of him in the list of 441 first responders on the National September 11 Memorial in lower Manhattan. Instead, his name is etched with others on the panels surrounding the spot where the South Tower originally stood.

His mother didn’t find this out until 2009, when she was mailed the official National Memorial package. “It was a shock.”

She called memorial organizers and was told they based their decision to list Salman on the list of victims “loosely connected” to the attacks because his name wasn’t on the NYPD memorial, erected several years earlier.

Salman’s two younger brothers, Zeshan and Adnaan, knew about the omissions but didn’t tell their mother for fear of breaking her heart.

“I told them they should have told me right away, because I would have started fighting long ago.”

Hamdani wrote three letters to Kelly; an NYPD spokesman told her her son was not on their list of 9/11 fallen because he was a cadet, and hadn’t worked for several weeks at the time of the attacks. His mother countered that he was still an NYPD employee when he was killed, at the age of 23.

Since then, Hamdani has written politicians and President Barack Obama, lobbied memorial organizers and other groups and spoken on television, all to no avail. But she hasn’t given up.

“I won’t find peace until this thing is resolved with justice. He gave the same sacrifice as the other police officers did, why is he not acknowledged as such?”

Some people suspect the NYPD has left Hamdani’s name off their memorial because it would mean having to pay compensation to the family, just like they did to the families of other fallen NYPD members.

“I think this is a major factor, but it should not be. His sacrifice is no less than the others,” said Hamdani.

She suspects there is another reason.

“If his name had been anything but Mohammad, it would have been a different story,” she said.

The NYPD did not reply to requests for comment.

Hamdani said a lawyer has contacted her, offering to file a lawsuit against the NYPD for discrimination. She said she prefers to wait until New York City has a new mayor and new police commissioner later this year, and see how they respond to her pleas.

“This should not come to the point of having to take legal recourse,” she said.

In the fight to get her son properly commemorated, Hamdani has also emerged as a leading voice against Islamophobia. She publicly denounced Rep. Peter King, a Long Island Republican and then-chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, for holding hearings on Muslim radicalization in 2010. She’s squared off against opponents of a proposed Islamic community center near Ground Zero, including other 9/11 families, and has spoken out against the NYPD’s warrantless surveillance of mosques and Muslim businesses and organizations.

She also believes that other Muslim families who lost loved ones on 9/11 were questioned by police who thought their lost loved ones might have had something to do with the attacks.

“They went and questioned each and every one,” she said. “That’s why no one else is speaking up (about Islamophobia).”

Rockefeller University, where Hamdani worked, created a scholarship in his name. And like other Twin Tower victims, who have had streets renamed in their honor, Salman may have the street in Queens where he lived named in his honor.

“Her story was very disheartening,” said Jerry Iannece, a lawyer and chairman of Community Board 11, in Bayside, Queens, which voted unanimously for the renaming, now pending before the City Council. “It was clear she believed in what she was doing, and we believed with her.”

He added: “It’s not an ethnic thing. He was one of our own, he wasn’t an outsider. It was a wrong that we could correct. It was the least we could do.”

Although she acknowledges her battles have taken a toll on her physically and mentally, Hamdani said she has more than enough energy to keep fighting until her son’s name is included on the NYPD and first responders memorials.

“Salman is not here, I cannot see him in flesh and blood, but I say to everybody, spiritually, we are reunited,” she said. “I am his voice, and he is my strength.

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A Christian Prayer
"It is not those who say, 'Lord, Lord!' who will enter the reign of God, but those who do God's will." (Matthew 7:21)
God of all races, nations, and religions,
You know that we cannot change others,
Nor can we change the past.
But we can change ourselves.
We can join You in changing our only
And common future where you 'reign'
The same over all.
Help us not to say, "Lord, Lord" to any tribal gods,
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A Baha'i Prayer
O my God! O my God! Unite the hearts of Thy servants, and reveal to them Thy great purpose. May they follow Thy commandments and abide in Thy law. Help them, O God, in their endeavor, and grant them strength to serve Thee. O God! Leave them not to themselves, but guide their steps by the light of Thy knowledge, and cheer their hearts by Thy love. Verily, Thou art their Helper and their Lord. -- Baha'u'llah

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A Buddhist Reflection
Willa, my godchild, was three, and lived 2 blocks away from the WTC on Sept 11, 2001. She was 7 years old at the time of the London metro bombing. On being told about the London terrorism, her eyes ﬁlled with tears and she said, "Mom, we should say a prayer." Willa begin with, "May the bad people remember the love in their hearts." I think of Willa and her prayer -- when I have been hurt or harmed, when I myself make a mistake, when I feel the need to try to start over, however difﬁcult that may feel. Whatever has happened or is happening in our lives, may we all remember the love in our hearts.
Lovingkindness meditation
You can sit comfortably, or lie down if that seems preferable. Close your eyes, or leave them slightly open. This practice is done through the silent repetition of certain phrases. You need not try to force an emotion or a certain sentiment. The power of the practice comes from gathering all our attention around one phrase at a time. If your attention slips, gently let go of the distraction, and simply begin again repeating the phrases. Remember to repeat them with enough space and enough silence that the rhythm is pleasing to you. This is the song of your heart.
We begin with directing the phrases towards ourselves, as though offering ourselves a gift. You can experiment with the wording, but it can be as simple as, "May I remember, and abide in the love in my heart."
After a few minutes think of someone who has helped you -- a benefactor or a friend. You can repeat the same phrase as an offering to them, "May you remember, and abide in the love in your heart."
When you feel ready, move on to someone you hardly know, a near stranger. Perhaps the checkout person at the grocery store you shop at, or a friend of a friend of a friend. "May you remember, and abide in the love in your heart."
Then someone you are annoyed at, or have some difﬁculty with. "May you remember, and abide in the love in your heart."
And ﬁnally, an immense expanse of lovingkindness. "May all beings remember, and abide in the love in our hearts."
When you are ready, you can end the meditation, and see if you can bring some of this consciousness into your day.

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A Secular Reflection
Tragedy can teach us many lessons. From pain, we can learn compassion. From division, we can learn solidarity. And when our world is shattered, as it was on September 11, 2001, we can learn to seek understanding.
On that violent day which shook us silent, America fractured. The lines between "us" and "them" grew thicker, darker, and harsher, muddying our shared humanity. We have since inhabited the shadows they cast, shouting at one another from across divides.
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A Christian PrayerBe Close to Me
Loving God,
You know that I believe in you.
You know that I trust in you.
You know that I love you.
But sometimes life is so painful,
your ways impossible to understand,
and your world so confusing.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with pain.
Sometimes I feel tempted to despair.
Sometimes I give way to hatred.
Sometimes I doubt even you.
In times of pain, give me comfort.
In times of despair, give me hope.
In times of hatred, give me love.
In times of doubt, give me trust.
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be close to me,
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A Hindu Prayer
As glass shattered, cement crumbled and steel melted in the inferno of senseless cruelty, the heart of humanity screamed in anguish. September 11, 2001 -- a day when the evil potential of misguided ego was again exposed. While our landmarks collapsed in a cloud of smoke and debris, beneath a surge of shock and rage, something awakened in our hearts: compassion. Suddenly, our worldly obsessions faded away as we cried for the plight of others and were deeply affected by our ﬁremen's sacriﬁce. In memory of this tragic day, let us join hands and pray for God's grace to heal, unite and empower us to serve with love.

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A Jewish Prayer
Dear God, how do we pray for what was lost? We cannot pray for deliverance or a miracle, for the tragedy has already burned itself into our souls. Children have grown fatherless. Families are long since bereaved. We know there is no prayer to change the past.
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A Spiritual Reflection
Every person can recall what it was like. In the massive unfolding tragedy you looked at television or to the sky, and you felt inside your skin the death of hope that anyone would survive. A shadow blotted out joy, and behind the shadow, evil worked to make sure that joy never returned. Of course that can't happen. No one can be in pain forever. Fear isn't here to stay. It just felt that way.
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I would offer the same today.

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A Christian Prayer
Lord, we remember the old hymn, "O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal home."
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A Jewish Prayer
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A Hindu Prayer
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A Muslim Prayer

God of all nations, look with favor upon this great nation as we remember the tragic terrorist attacks of 9/11 in its 10th anniversary. Be our source of strength, healing and comfort as our wounds still bleed.

God of wisdom and compassion, You create eventual blessings out of every kind of evil. Make us instruments and agents of such creation as we strive to turn the post-9/11 challenges into opportunities and blessings for others and ourselves.
God of mercy and grace, we bring up the immediate victims and their loved ones of these heinous acts into your attention. Be their light in these moments of darkness and difficulty.
God of hope and glory, do not let our hopes overcome by our fears. Do not let our souls crippled by despair. Be our source of hope and guidance in these times of sorrow and mourning.
Oh God, if we forget You. Do not forget us.
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A Christian Prayer
Loving God of Peace:
On this anniversary of unbelievable sorrow, comfort those who mourn, and guide our
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A Sikh Prayer
The One Universal Creator of all, our Divine Mother and Father
In Your blessings we find true and lasting comfort and peace
Grant healing and solace to our wounded hearts
Grant us strength to bear the loss of loved ones and to live in Your Will
Grant us resilience in the face of hate, and the courage to face it with dignity
May we all unite and share one another's pain and tears
May the hatred in the world melt away in Your boundless and everlasting love
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Bishop T.D. Jakes

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A Christian Prayer
Dear God:
Thou who has been our help in ages past, thou who dispenses your comfort to all those who mourn. We seek your grace to strengthen us as we commemorate the lives of loved ones who have been lost on this day of anguish for our country and our world.
Wipe away the blinding tears that plummet down our cheeks like gushing streams of an overflowing riverbank. Our heavy hearts still search for the solace of your guidance through the maze of pain and the myriad of complex issues such tragedy releases.
Though hurt, we are compelled to commemorate those who are fallen on this day. Remember those who may not have lost a life but instead they lost a limb, those who gave their health for our wholeness, those who lost their emotional stability to help us regain our national security.
From first responders to heroic citizens we ask for your grace for these hurting heroes who often suffer in total silence. Fill the arms of mothers left empty and heal the hearts of fathers whose ears strain to remember the sound of fading laughter and frolic of children now gone. Wrap your arms around those who lost wives and husbands, parents, friends and confidantes on this day of terroristic espionage. Let that day which exhibited the worst in man be the catalyst of also revealing the best in our human hearts to love each other.
In spite of such pain we honor you as the God and guide who has enabled us to endure what we thought was impossible. Thank you for your sovereign grace that guides us beyond one moment of terror to a collective and individual destiny beyond that moment. Thank you for the occasional smile, the splendor of sunsets and the brilliance of sunrise. Since then you have granted us new friends and a renewed sense of purpose. Like stars in our night you have given us light in the midst of dark places for which we are so grateful.
Watch over us with your omniscient eye grating us your continued protection. Our enemies remain unrelenting. In the true spirit of our faith, we also pray for our enemies. Let the message of your love and light extend not only to those who mourn but to those who hate, that they might realize that hate will not replace the better choice of debate nor will destruction reconstruct the common chord of our shared brotherhood as human beings. Have mercy on the pain and misguidance that would make them seek the horrific option of destruction. Guide them to the light of your love.
Teach us collectively, the power of that love, the simple riches of your peace. Show us that the indomitable spirit of self-preservation need not lead us to the selfish indulgence of blind devastation and the malicious disregard for each other.
You are the God of all people, the father of every soul. Lord, teach your children to love each other as much as they profess to love you.
In Jesus Christ's name we pray.

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A Pagan Blessing
By the Earth that is Her body
By the Air that is Her breath
By the Fire of Her bright spirit
By the Waters of her living womb
Let the Peace of the Goddess grow in our hearts.
Peace as we honor our dead with undying memory.
Peace as the tears of grief are shed.
Peace as we remember the world sharing our pain.
Peace as the flood waters are receding.
Peace as we understand that we are all mostly water. Literally.
Let the waters of compassion flow.
Let the healing continue.
We are whole.
Blessed be.

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A Christian Prayer
God of love we place in your loving arms the thousands of innocent lives that were lost on that unforgettable morning of September 11, 2001. We also remember the courage of the countless men and women who put their lives at risk in order to rescue, alleviate and bring solace to the afflicted. Help us to continue to work for a world free from every form of hatred, violence and ignorance. May terrorism -- in all its forms -- disappear from the face of the earth. Amen.