What it’s about: A veteran male stripper coaches a younger protege, falls in love with his protege’s sister.

Why it might be good: It’s based on Channing Tatum’s real life experience as a male stripper, so at the very least, it should be realistic.

Why it might not: In this one, Tatum is acting opposite Alex Pettyfer, not Jonah Hill.

Ted (June 29)

starring: Mark Walberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane

directed by: Seth MacFarlane

What it’s about: A man must choose between his fiance and his best friend, a talking teddy bear.

Why it might be good: If the scene from the trailer where Mark Wahlberg lists off a hundred white trash names in 20 seconds is representative of the rest of the movie, this could be a comedy classic.

Why it might not: It’s by the creator of Family Guy, which kinda reminds me of that time I went to buy lottery tickets with Mr. T. Cut to flashback of me buying lottery tickets with Mr. T. “I pity the fool who doesn’t win the lottery.”

People Like Us (June 29)

starring: Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks, Michelle Pfeiffer

directed by: Alex Kurtzman

What it’s about: A struggling businessman is instructed in his father’s will to give $150,000 to a half-sister he never knew existed.

Why it might be good: It doesn’t have vampires, zombies, or aliens in it. In fact, it doesn’t seem to feature any CGI at all. Who on earth decided to release this thing during the summer?

Why it might not: If Chris Pine delivers a wooden performance, reviewers will be unable to resist the obvious pun.

The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3)

starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen

directed by: Marc Webb

What it’s about: After getting bit by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker develops superpowers which he uses to unravel a mystery from his past while pursuing his high school crush.

Why it might be good: The idea of an ordinary teenager who gains the strength and agility of a spider is an intriguing one. I mean, what would you do in such a situation? Fight crime, swing from skyscraper to skyscraper, briefly join a professional wrestling league—the possibilities are endless.

Why it might not: According to my research, there was a popular movie made just 10 years ago that had a very similar premise.

Savages (July 6)

starring: Taylor Kitsch, John Travolta, Aaron Johnson, Blake Lively

directed by: Oliver Stone

What it’s about: Two marijuana growers battle a Mexican drug cartel.

Why it might be good: The trailer features a shot of the two heroes wearing Mexican wrestling masks while holding bazookas.

Why it might not: It’s directed by Oliver Stone, who hasn’t made a good movie since 1999.

Ice Age: Continental Drift (July 13)

starring: Ray Romano, Denis Leary, Aziz Ansari, Jennifer Lopez

directed by: Steve Martino, Mike Thurmeier

What it’s about: The Ice Age gang goes on a new adventure. This one has something to do with pirates.

Why it might be good: By now, the Ice Age animators have had more practice at animating pre-historic animals than anyone else in the world. If there’s any truth to the saying, “Practice makes perfect,” then Ice Age 4 should be the closest thing to perfection that humans have yet achieved.

Why it might not: There’s no truth to that saying. The Ice Age movies have been getting worse and worse.

The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)

starring: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway

directed by: Christopher Nolan

What it’s about: Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, Batman returns to Gotham to prevent Bane from destroying the city.

Why it might be good: Reasons are too many to list.

Why it might not: Can’t think of anything to put here.

The Watch (July 27)

starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade

directed by: Akiva Schaffer

What it’s about: A neighbourhood watch group battles an alien invasion.

Why it might be good: Like Attack the Block, it promises to offer a new twist on a tired genre.

Why it might not: The title used to be Neighbourhood Watch, but was shortened to The Watch following the Trayvon Martin shooting. Which begs the question: How many other things were changed for the sake of political correctness?

Bourne Legacy (Aug. 3)

starring: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton

directed by: Tony Gilroy

What it’s about: A super agent not named Jason Bourne becomes involved in some Bourne-esque intrigue.

Why it might be good: It’s not directed by Paul “Shakey-Cam” Greengrass, so there’s a good chance that someone remembered to bring a tripod to the set.

Why it might not: After getting out-acted by Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible 4 and Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr in The Avengers, it’s becoming harder and harder to remember why Jeremy Renner was ever a big deal to begin with.

Total Recall (Aug. 3)

starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel

directed by: Len Wiseman

What it’s about: A factory worker suffering from violent nightmares begins to suspect that he’s a spy whose memory has been replaced.

Why it might be good: It stars Colin Farrell, an infinitely superior actor to Arnold Schwarzenegger, star of the original Total Recall.

Why it might not: It’s unlikely that Farrell’s audio commentary track will come anywhere close to matching the zany brilliance of Schwarzenegger’s classic commentary on the original Total Recall DVD.

The Campaign (August 10)

starring: Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis

directed by: Jay Roach

What it’s about: Two rival politicians run for office in North Carolina.

Why it might be good: It’s a movie about a political campaign that’s being released in the middle of one of the biggest political campaigns in history. If it isn’t good, it will at least be timely.

This was true! The trailer makes the perfect "Paradise" MV. I bought tickets for the IMAX just to hear the song! But unfortunately, i can't remember that song being played anywhere in the movie! I was cheated!