Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Le Mariage

I have probably never told you fine readers about the dude I dated in college. (Wait! I did mention the aftermath! Here is a very depressed overview. Fucking hell, grad school sucked. Snooty Town really sucked - every word of that one is true, by the way. Also, oh, JESUS, I'd completely forgotten Item 3 here. Note to self: never search for 'ex' on one's blog. Though it's true: the memory of misery is always less intense.)

Anyhow, most of it doesn't matter, except that I did date him for four years, and his parents were bitterly and acrimoniously divorced, and he was completely insecure and... you know there's a certain kind of person for whom nothing is ever enough? Let's just say that a hundred repetitions of "I always knew you'd leave me someday" will lead one to throw dishes and say "Yes! You're right! I am leaving you RIGHT NOW!"

After the whole disaster with my sister, it occurred to me that she essentially was in the same situation... but she married him. (At barely-20. People, this is why sometimes it's a good idea to live like an adult and pay your own damn rent for, oh, at least six months before leaping into a legally binding agreement with someone. Especially if you have graduated from college the month before.)

8 comments:

Once upon a time, I found myself in a similar situation with a person who is now (rightly so) an ex. No doubt about it. It more than sucks. Thank goodness you and I didn't jump in with both feet and that your sister is soundly pulling herself out.

Sane partners are SO much nicer to live with. I mean, Dr. S and I drive each other crazy, but only in normal ways, you know? I hope my sister manages to make a speedy, smooth exit. It was definitely time to leave and if I could post the unbloggable portion (think total soap opera) you would probably laugh. I did, once I was done screaming.

Thank heavens you ran screaming from that relationship! A wise man told me, "The most important decision you can make in your life is choosing who you marry." Despite my occasional complaints, I'm quite satisfied with my choice. Grad school, Snooty Town, and those several years of your life sound miserable! It's amazing you made it through alive.

Oh, your poor, misguided, dunce of a sister. I can only hope that post-divorce life will be way better for her than married, and she can raise the children to be less jerky than their father. I told my brother, "Only marry someone if you want your children to resemble them." (In character, not physically.)

Yeah, I think it's really character building to have an extremely crazy partner at least once. Mine was a FREAK, and I can't believe I stuck it out with him for YEARS. But it also sounds like you built waaaaaaay too much character during that interval. Glad he's long gone.

About Me

I'm a Southerner who has moved back to the Rural South; my spouse has just gotten the golden ring (a tenure-track job); deeply tired of being ill. I knit, I write, I bake things that won't kill me. I make - and wear! - ridiculous hats.

DISCLAIMER: I am a scientist, not a medical professional. THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE, these are my personal opinions. I intend these only as academic summaries of the available evidence. If you require medical advice or assistance, please consult your health care provider