Sunday, April 9, 2017

I am a couch builder

I don't know if I am alone in this matter, but I have to admit that quite often I consider myself a couch builder.

Maybe you know the drill yourself.

You sit in a couch an read a woodworking magazine. Not just to get inspired, cause that would be fine. But somehow you more or less imagine that it is you doing the build. And boy I know that I am efficient in those projects.

A tool chest, 20 minutes maximum. A workbench, maybe 25 minutes, but that includes a cup of tea etc. In my mind I can build as fast as I can read the magazine. Actually after reading the articles a couple of times I don't even have to read the fine print anymore. I just look at the pictures and maybe read the text accompanying them.

One of the really nice thing about building this way is that there are never any surprises such as reversing grain, knots, running out of stock, wood movement, bad finishing, overcutting lines, tear out, bad glue ups, twisted stock or dull tools.

Actually these builds are probably my best ones. They never go wrong and if they by some stroke of bad luck should, fixing them would be a piece of cake.

I can't quite remember the imaginary number if times that I have built the Roy Underhill joiners tool chest. But I have built it for real once, and it was definitely not as fast as the couch builds.

The same thing goes with a chimney cupboard.

Bob Roziaeski built a really nice version for Popular Woodworking some years back. And I have built it at least 10 times. It is such a pleasant project. It is guaranteed to turn out perfect every single time. And even the finish can't go wrong. A nice homemade yellow ochre coloured paint based on BLO. covers the perfectly hand planed boards in a jiffy. Drying is instantaneously. The dark paste wax is applied and buffed off, and after mounting the hardware without the screwdriver ever slipping, the project is once again complete.

In a way - it is very satisfying to build like that. There isn't a project that you can't handle, and the result is perfect every single time.

But..

In another way - building projects that way isn't satisfying at all. Once you look up from the magazine, they vanish into thin air. There isn't even the nice smell of freshly planed wood from your shirt. Those projects also tend to be difficult to show to friends and family.

The problem is that if you leave the success zone of the couch, and head into the real shop, maybe you will encounter difficulties. Perhaps even set backs. You might find that you are not quite as skilled as you thought you were. And if the project was described as something to be done in "a weekends time in the shop" You had better be quicker than that because if not.. It must mean that you are not as skilled as you were in the couch.

The harsh reality of my own limitations and mediocre skills always strike me full force when returning home from the ship.

For 5 weeks I have thrived as a very successful couch builder, and then suddenly I am just my own regular me in a workshop filled with all kinds of annoying problems that the professionals never seem to have.

A strange thing is that most people seem to like the stuff that I build in the real world better than what I build in the couch. So perhaps I should focus more on getting into the actual shop and stop couch building.

Great to read this. I often get depressed by the amount of pacing and worrying I get caught up in. Either because I'm stalling on applying some new half learned skill or I'm stuck on design choices that I never exactly nailed down before starting.

Hi Paul.Glad to be able to help. I think very few of us can rightfully claim that we never couch build. A comfort to me is that I think I am not the first one to make that specific type of mistake (whichever one it is).Design choices are hard. I have too often found that what looks fine on paper and great in my head doesn't quite look the same once I get it built. But if you just force yourself to accept it, you have come a long way. cause that means that you are less likely to make the exact same mistake again.Thanks for commentingBrgdsJonas

The psychosomatic condition that you ably describe is often referred to as Abramsism. The only known cure is the purchase of yet one more single use powertool from a coporate sponsor. There is a situation of codependency by which the spouse of a woodworker suffering from Abramsism insists that any project built from a measured shop drawing seen on today's program can obviously be accomplished in a single weekend as seen on your local PBS affiliate since it was so easily demonstrated in 30 minutes.

Abramsism, now I learned yet another new word :-)In a way I am glad that Danish Television doesn't have any woodworking programmes. I would have to say that my wife has a pretty good idea about that stuff takes time to build. I on the other hand.. I mean St.Roy can build virtually anything in 30 minutes. I have seen it with my own eyes!It might also be that I am just easily fooled.Thanks for commentingBrgdsJonas

I started watch with Norm back in the 1980s (maybe early 90s). Now I have my own slice of heaven in the garage. I still like watching reading. Nowhere near as quick and less than perfect but I'm very happy at how they turnout.

You just made me think of a slogan. I think it used to be the slogan of Singapore Airlines. "Where do you need to be? How will you get there? Does it matter? Yes it matters. The journey is the destination"

One of the things that only a shop can provide is the smell of woodworking. Sawdust, shavings, turpentine, varnish etc. I think those things make for a better product in the end than any couch building can do. Thanks for commentingBrgdsJonas

You are not alone in your couch building. I think of it in a different way though. I view it as mentally preparing for when I do get into the shop. That's not to say that I haven't built my fair share of imaginary projects though.

Hi Greg.Mentally preparing. Now that sounds like a clever thought.Perhaps I should change my view on my couch building.When I think of it, I only do it on projects that I would like to build in real life.So I could use it as a gauge for if I really want to make a certain project, or if it is just a passing phase.Thanks for commenting.BrgdsJonas

Yep, it is much easier to dream than do. But the good part of letting the mind wander with out direction is the occasional "Eureka" moment. I've often said while driving that given a large enough fuel tank I could solve the Grand Unification Theory.

Hi António.Thanks for commenting.It would have been ice if it was an Olympic sport, but I am afraid that we will have to wait until at least 2024 before it will be accepted. But we can try to intensify the training while we wait.BrgdsJonas

One related trade is the "Desk Builder" of which I am nearing the master level. This trade focuses on sketches on random pieces of paper at all hours of the workday. Proportions are always rock solid, yet also fit the space and any human factor like a glove, looks good from all angles and there are never surprises during assembly even with the most insanely complicated joinery (no gaps of course). I have houses full of furniture, that all fold flat and fit in a single drawer.

Hi Jeremy.I would love to be able to advance to being a desk builder.But that would mean that I had to be able to make nice looking sketches. And sketching is not one of my strongest cards.The only type of sketching that I actually do quite well is sketching small mansions with Mansard or gambrel roofs. So I am afraid that is not nearly enough to elevate me to a desk builder.BrgdsJonas

I think I have built dozens of projects in my head, mostly while I am on break at work. At that, I think I mentally build every project at least a few times before I start.

Now, I have found myself in a situation that is new to me, and that is projects that are half finished. I have 3 going right now that have all stalled, not due to laziness, but simply because I do not have enough time to dedicate to doing things right.

But couch building has its ups and downs. What concerns me more than anything is going out and spending money for high quality lumber, only to see it half finished, or ruined, or what have you, because I could not dedicate the proper amount of time to completing the project. So in the meanwhile I've been sticking to very small things I can complete in an afternoon or a weekend.

I suppose this is why there are fewer middle-aged woodworkers than you would think. Most have younger families and are working 6 days a week, and the most precious woodworking tool, free time, is hard to come by.Bill

Hi BillMental preparation sound a lot better than couch building.I can relate to the problem about buying something and being concerned if you will ever build or complete it. I try my best to avoid the situation, but sometimes I seem to fall through.

I think that you are spot on regarding why so few middle aged people do woodworking. One of the quotes in Woodworking Magazine was: "The two hardest things to make in a shop are space and time".

I think that I am fortunate that when I am at home I can plan my own day as I like, but then on the other hand, when I am away for 5 weeks at a time, I can't see my family, so I guess there are pro's and con's to most jobs.When I am at home, I try to cater for the children and the family in the afternoons and evenings.

A good thing about couch building is that once you finally start one of those projects that you have built in your head so many times, it is a great feeling. Especially if the project goes as planned (which it actually does sometimes).BrgdsJonas

I am not nearly that good a woodworker :-)But thanks a lot for the nice comment.

I know that I am not very good at taking pictures, so I always hope that my projects can instil some confidence in people when they look at my crappy pictures. That will hopefully make them think that they can do better.