Using this other guy for the emotional support when all I've ever wanted is my CP. I am going to go NC with COW, thanks to this site. I love my CP with all my heart.

I am glad to see you know the direction you want to head. Go NC and stay NC and focus on your CP. As you work on your relationship do not overlook yourself and the issues that lead you to these slippery slope situations.

AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 53983 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation

N3v3rg035aWaY♀ 43983Member # 43983

Posted: 11:27 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014

Thank you for your reply MovingUpwards, I really appreciate it.

I tried finishing it a month ago b/c I know I have been letting so many other things slip. I like the attention, even though I don't want anything physical from him. Hell, I wouldn't even want to kiss him or anyone except for CP.

I dk if CP has told me the whole truth, I've only got what he told and I honestly believe it's the TT and not full facts. I think he was too scared to be brutally honest but maybe I am wrong. He said it was just a kiss!

He's worked with that same woman for nearly 10 years. I'm not allowed to talk about her or what they did, he goes straight into defence mode.

Should I tell CP or is it better left as it is?

Thanks again

Posts: 3 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: UK

She-Ra ♀ 36033Member # 36033

Posted: 12:03 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014

Welcome to SI.

I would have an honest conversation with CP about your EA with your co worker. You need to open up about what you have been doing behind his back. Going NC sounds like it's your only option to nip this in the bud. Getting pecks on the cheek from the opposite sex is boundary crossing in my books but maybe where you are from it's just part of a regular greeting. My BH would freak out but we are Canadian and it's rare to kiss hello to anyone. Some people do it but not me especially with my wayward status.

You say sex has been downhill and communication isn't that great. Start changing that by being honest. If you want to work on your relationship with cp? Fight for it. Get into counselling if you have to. Start working hard on yourself and relationship today. Read the book Not just friends if you can. It will help you build boundaries for both you and CP.