Chosen same name as friend -WWYD

Realised a week or so back my friend and I have chosen same girl's name, Martha. Due a week apart and gender would be surprise for us both.

Thought I better say something to her when I realised and she was really upset. She eventually calmed down, acknowledging she had no "claim" to the name and it was trivial in the grand scheme of things. I did know she liked the name and had in mind for previous babies who were then boys but didn't know she had heart set on it. In my mind, there was room for two Marthas in the world! We don't share the same social circle but do see each other very regularly.

She did say don't change your mind. However, this week she had a little girl, Martha and it got me thinking whether I do want to change. Husband reluctant to on principle!! But kind of coming round to liking Matilda, though it was never in our original list.

I'd switch in this case. You see her regularly, she was very good about it when you told her, and she has had that name chosen for a long time while having boys so she has been thinking of it for ages.

Of course no one owns a name and you can use it - I just wouldn't. 'On principle' is a weird reason to name a child - name with love. Matilda is nicer than Martha imo - or maybe Mabel, Mollie, Marnie?

Matilda is beautiful. I really don't see what is so appealing about Martha to be totally honest.

However I was in the same situation and wanted the same name as my friend who was due a week before me. It's a unisex name so I was going to use it either way, however she was just going to use it as a boys name. I said from finding this out,I would still name our baby this regardless as I had the name in mind a long time before I found out she had this name too. Anyway, she is having a girl and I am having a boy so as far as I'm aware she's not using it anymore. But I've since changed my mind about the name anyway 😂

Wait and see. You might have a boy. If you have a girl, Matilda might instantly fit. Or you might realise that you really love Martha and she feels like a Martha. I wouldn't just name her Martha because it was on your list too and your friend doesn't own the name. I would still name her Martha if nothing else felt right and I really couldn't let the name go. But I'd be scouring every name book and for a new name!

I much prefer Matilda over Martha! Martha makes me think of old women with bad hygiene, not even sure why and absolutely no offence intended to anyone!!! Matilda is delicate and pretty and can be shortened to cute things like Tils and Tilly. I can just see people shortening Martha to "Marf"!

Wait and see if she's a she, and if she is, see what she suits. If she arrives and she is a Martha then 100% call her Martha, there can be 2 Martha's and if your friend gets annoyed should you go ahead and use the name, she'll get over it!

I very much like the name Martha but also agree Matilda is lovely! I don't think you can go wrong with either.

Don't switch based on the fact she has used the name. You might not even be friends with her/ see her in a few years time and regret not using it. And if if you are in contact still there are more than 2 Marthas in the world! If you prefer the name matilda now then change to that but Base your decision on the name you like best, nothing else.

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