mood swings. ups and downs. ins and outs. life is always about a cycle. sometimes you are floating up, sometimes you are falling down. financially things are tight. wishing that i was in a slightly more secure profession. i love that it’s me doing what i love and being my own boss. i don’t love the ebbs and flows in my cash flow. lol. but i feel like money comes to me better when i don’t panic about it. but it’s hard to stay positive every day. especially living in bermy. things here are not cheap. time to become the self promoter again. fingers crossed that the universe hears my prayer. prayer alone is not enough, you have to also be working on making your situation better. meet the universe in the middle.

so tomorrow will be another day to grind. but tonight is time to put worries aside to prepare for tomorrow. good night.

omg it’s been so long since i have written a post. not that i have that many followers yet, but still. if you don’t put it out there into the universe it will never become realized.

i have just been so busy lately. life is crazy. planning the wedding. doing teaching certification courses. teaching pilates. doing my own admin (the only part of being my own boss i don’t enjoy lol).

one day at time. one thing at a time. that’s all i can really do. keeping my goals in mind and constantly trying to improve my situation. head up. shoulders back. walking strongly forward into the future.

and here i sit still bummed out. gone are the easy days of summer that come with youth. nowadays it’s figuring out how all the stuff i need to get done gets done, and all the bills get paid. i used to really enjoy the change in seasons because it would bring about a change in the way i lived my life. now it just means that it’ll be a bit lighter when i get up for work. trying to just enjoy the new smells of spring. but all i can seem to think about is springs in the past, and the summers that they led to. i’m missing that feeling of close friends and party vibes.

that was yesterday. today i’m feeling good. (thank goodness) 17 days til my 30th bday and i feel like i’m getting better not older. feeling like i could conquer anything. walked to & from work this morning and i feel awesome. now to clean the house a bit. so sad that i have to clean the house before the maid gets here, tells you just how disorganized it is. oh well. my computer desk makes me happy so maybe i should just spend all my time here. maybe i should become a writer so this is where i could be all day. lol. sigh… enough procrastination, off to do some cleaning. will try to post again today. the pics are from my walks this morning.

having a low moment i posted on fb the following… “tired of being poor… tired of each day being filled with another hurdle, another challenge… why is it that my positivity doesn’t attract positive things to my daily life?” and the outpouring of positivity from friends around the world. was truly amazing and wonderful. one friend said “with every up must come a down. there must be a down for every up and an up for every down to maintain balance and WHEN you make it past your hurdles you will be on the UP again! enjoy that time when it comes cause you’ve worked hard for it!”… the best way to put it into perspective for sure. so here’s to trying to just enjoy the journey.

physically, personally and spiritually i feel at my best but financially i have hit an all time low. i love my job. i love teaching pilates. i love my clients. but right now is a really slow time and client attendance is at an all time low. going to have to step up the marketing and really self promote because i am suffering from a bit of a drought.

but let go and let god. i pray that if i continue to be a good person, and i work hard at improving my qualifications it will all pay off. besides who knows where i’ll be in a few years. or what i’ll be doing. i can just hope and pray that i’ll enjoy what i am doing. “find a job that you love and you will never have to work a day in your life” ~ confucius

i hope to one day enjoy a life of positivity. of quiet gardening with a life companion that has an easy smile, quiet strength and never-ending charm. a job that satisfies, challenges and keeps me motivated. until then i will endure. i will survive. this too shall pass.

i read a lot of blogs. some about fashion, some about cooking… and some for just pure self-love & happiness. gala darling is one of those on top of the list for self-love. so when i read today’s post about things gala loves, i thought that it would be great to sit down at this moment and list all the things i love.

i love that i’m in a fabulous suite in the Venetian, in Vegas baby! Found a great location for the wedding this November… fingers crossed that we can confirm the reception space… got the ceremony, got the dinner, so this is the last piece of the puzzle so i’ll finally be able to chill and enjoy the planning process.

loving pinks & blushes, feathers & ruffles, peonies & wild roses… i love everything girlie at the moment. especially when it has to do with the wedding. check out this dress. it’s a little too pink. i’m prefer a softer pink. but LOVE the style.

love my new corset i bought myself for valentine’s day. super skinny sexiness. makes me think with the right wedding dress i could look so skinny on the big day! yay to that!

just finishing up packing & then heading off to NYC to finish off the trip. W here we come!

Sing your own songs with your own distinct voice, and give the beauty of your joyful, creative self to each moment. Let your very own light shine brilliantly today, and every day, on all of life. ~ Ralph Marston

to be creative and joyful, begins with gratitude. so today i am grateful for… the fact that it is friday! although i do have to work both saturday & sunday, but at least tomorrow is a bit of a sleep in day and i only have 2 clients tomorrow, maybe 3. i have to admit that even though i work most weekends, i still love how weekends feel. plus sundays at the studio, it’s just me working so it’s peaceful because it becomes totally my space.

i am also grateful for my health. can’t help but think of some of my close friends who suffer with all sorts of various diseases and issues that cause pain. being that i spend more time with my clients than i do my friends or family, they become my friends and family. i ache for them when they come to me stiff and tight with pain. being able to find ways to ease that is so life affirming. that is one of the most beautiful things about teaching, if you are doing it right you not only get your students to connect with the information but also with you.

ok so no more saving drafts to publish later. going to post right away. because now it is sunday and i wrote this post two days ago. but have to admit weekend was very productive. house is finally starting to be clean, just in time to leave it with the dogsitter. lol. but hopefully this trip will be productive too. hopefully all will go well.

first things first… i am a blog fanatic! bloglovin is constantly on my firefox and i read new ones daily. i love blogs about fashion, weddings, food, books, photography and some that i couldn’t categorize if i tried… so why try? as life gets more and more complex and more and more connected, why not embrace it and combine all parts of your life. thru various stages in my life i kept journals… usually at moments or times when there were so many thoughts and feelings that i just needed to get stuff out. a pure stream of consciousness. but i was constantly cutting out pictures, making collages, gluing in flowers & leaves, sometimes ending up with journals that were twice as thick as when i had begun. i hope that this blog becomes something like that. using pictures, as well as words to tell the story of my reality.

i don’t know if it’s because i’m an only child, or my active imagination but there is something so comforting about having a conversation with an entity that is completely non-judgemental. but i guess that is because a journal is only an extension of yourself… while blogs are the next step. opening up your stream of consciousness to others to hopefully learn from them something about yourself, or something new that you need to consider.

so a little about myself. i would say that family is the most important thing to me. i consider certain friends to be family (shout out to my brothers of the heart, D in T.O. doing his thing xo, 3H may he R.I.P, and my heart sister, I living and loving her fam in LV). happiness is my most important life goal. now i know that this will contain a certain amount of professional and personal successes, where i will end up and how i will get there i am constantly working on and i can just hope that it evolves into a really joyful life. at the moment i really enjoy what i am doing… teaching pilates feels so fulfilling because i am helping people move more comfortably through the world, and to stand with strength.

i love my dogs. and peonies are my favourite flower… and i’m obsessed with wedding gowns with feathers when i always thought that i was going to be the sleek and simple girl. so surrounded by pictures of both since my desk is wedding planning central, the blog’s name was born. lol.

i’m studying to become a primary school teacher. but must admit that i’m more excited to use what i’m learning with my own future children than with starting my teaching career. although who knows when that is going to happen. but i know that i’ll definitely have them, when & where time will tell.

if you are reading this… thank you for taking the time. i hope that this is the beginning of a glorious new chapter for me, and to make wonderful new connections along the way.