Thursday, September 27, 2012

Found

I found a sketchbook from college. There are several, but haven't seen this one for a while, must be about 20 years old exactly. So many drawings are of my young Juliana. I can vividly remember this sequence of sketches.

She was in such a spoiled slumber, way deep in the corner of her bed which was also the corner of two walls. Curled up, still in play shoes and a jacket from having run around outside before collapsing. Her sleep was such an opportune time. Practically because of the stillness and quiet. But such an invitation it was to explore her and to listen to her breathing, slow heaving sighs of needing the sleep so desperately to fuel everything that life would bring. That day, and onward.

I moved around all sides of her. Drawing whatever seemed most provocative from each angle. But it's the sound of her sleeping that I recall most when I look at these. I am grateful that I learned to be a mother during such young, raw, formative years in learning to be me. I have enjoyed the experience with each of my children, as I've aged, no less. And I do look through my sketchbooks and writings from so long ago and give myself a loving roll of the eyes, acknowledging what a fledgling youth I was, an art student no less, where fabricated drama of being such and actual reality necessarily coexisted, but come clean now on these pages. I can still feel what was felt then though, however far reaching.

On nearby pages there are a few photos of her sleeping torn and attached, I am guessing from one of my photography classes. I had written down an excerpt of a poem by Anne Sextonunderneath that leaves me breathless reading it even today. Her words are an amazing account of coming to terms with the rawness of new motherhood and also the human spirit. So here they are for you today:

Wow!!! I too was a young mother, and cherished my daughter, now shes 13… hard to believe. The poem makes me think of a nursing mother, which I am now with my 6 month old daughter. Children are such blessings! Great sketches, you have so much to give the world Anna Maria, most of all to your family. Much Love from SD CA

Wow! Such beautiful drawings! And such a wonderful life drawing model, too (naps are good for long poses)! I miss my college art classes -- you did truly have a different perspective as a young mom! The best thing about art is the myriad of ways you can express your creative self!

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Your drawings are outstanding ~ what a keepsake. Could you tell me about the quilt?? your sketchbook is laying on especially the dusty plum fabrics ~ are these from your line?? I didn't recognize it if it is!! Thanks so much for sharing your amazing talent!!

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