Blue Collar

A man, an affair, a death....

She is gentle
today. Just like every other day. Her hands gently tug at my collar as she
fixes it. I watch her as she buttons my shirt. Her tousled brown hair rippling
over her shoulders, her chest rises and falls as she takes each breath. Her
lips in a small smile, her long fingers trailing up to my neck. The sunlight
from the window reflects on the mirror and shines on her face. Her soft skin
glows in the morning light. When she is finished with the buttons, she fixes
the sleeves and the collar again, straightens the bottom, and then puts her
arms around my neck.

“Have a great
day at work today.” She says, smiling at me. She kisses me on my cheek and I
breathe in her scent. She brushes her cheek softly on mine. “I love you.”

She puts her arms
down and smiles at me, then turns and heads downstairs. A ray of sunlight
reflects on the crystal on her ring finger. I look down and stare at the
identical ring on my hand.

. . .

Today is
different. I feel it. Why is she so rough today? She tugs harshly at my blue
collar. Her fingers pinch at my shoulders as she “fixes” the sleeves. She
hasn’t spoken to me all morning. Why must she still be so beautiful? Why does
her innocent beauty guilt me so? She does not put her arms around my neck, she
does not whisper in my ear. Once she is finished she turns and walks away, not
even sparing a single glance at me. Again, the sunlight hits the single
solitary diamond embedded on her ring. All these years, she doesn’t know that
the light hits it. All these years, she doesn’t know the secret I have been
hiding.

Yes, I love her.
I still do. Till one fateful day, temptation struck. An accident happened, and
I have lived with that mistake all my life. I straighten the collar myself and
follow her downstairs. She does not look at me. She does not wave at the door.
All I do is drive away.

. . .

She is sad this
morning. Her fingers slowly trail at the blue collar. Her grace has a sad lilt
to it. Her hands rest on my shoulders, and she closes her eyes and rests her
forehead on mine.

“Why did you do
this to me?” she whispers. “She came over yesterday you know. Your son was with
her.”

I stiffen,
terrified.

“She didn’t know
who I was.” She sighs. “Do you love her?”

I swallow. There
was nothing left to hide. I had to tell her the truth. Even if it would hurt
her.

“Yes.”

She opens her
eyes, but doesn’t look at me. Tears are falling.

“How old is he?”

“Five.”

Her shoulders
are trembling, but I have no right to touch her. I’ve hurt her enough. This is
frightening. I expect her to shout, to throw things at me. I want her to call
me names, hurt me physically as much as I had hurt her emotionally. But instead
she’s here, holding me, touching me, crying bitter tears.

“Are you that
much disappointed in me?” she asks. “Because we can’t have our own child?”

I am silent. I
don’t know what to say.

“I have to go.”
She says. “I have to clear my mind a bit.”

She puts her
hands down and leaves the room, crying in her hands. I hear the front door
close and I watch from the upstairs window as she shrugs into her coat. I sit
down on the bed, guiltily contemplating on my actions. I cry. Only then do I
realize how much I love her.

I write her a
letter, hoping against hope she would come back to read it.

I wait…

. . .

I am lonely
today. She is not here to fix my collar. She is not here to whisper in my ear.
She is gone. I, myself, fix the collar of the dark shirt I am wearing today. Tears
spring to my eyes as I look at myself in the mirror. The sorrowful piano music
calls me outside. Wiping the tears with the back of my hand, I hold the unread
letter in my hand and head out.

My footsteps
echo on the marble floor and fifty pairs of eyes follow me. I head up to the
podium and unfold the letter in my hand. Taking a deep breath, I read it aloud
to the crowd in front of me.

“Scarlet,” I
say, but my voice cracks at saying her name. I clear my throat and continue. “I
can think of no other way to say just how sorry I am for what I did to you. But
let me make you realize just how much I love you, and how blind I was to see
it. I’m sorry if I wasn’t that much of a good husband to you. The times when I
forgot things, when I hurt you without apologizing. It was the little things
that made me love you. But what I failed to realize, was when you fixed my blue
collar everyday, you were trying to hold on to our dying love.

“You were trying
to seize moments when we would be alone together. And now that you’re gone, I
will miss the little things you used to do. The gentle way you used to touch
me, the whispers in my ear, the smiles you used to give me, the looks your eyes
made. You are the only person in the whole world who can do those small things,
and can make me so enchanted with you. I realized it too late. I----.”

A lump comes to
my throat and I choke. I cannot continue. So I step down and walk towards her.
Her eyes are closed; you would think she was sleeping. She is wearing the most
beautiful dress I have ever seen. I bend down to the coffin and whisper in her
ear.

“I love you,
Scarlet. And I’m sorry.”

Tears come to my
eyes as I see her lying in that bed of white satin. My words had come too late.

Reviews

Posted 6 Years Ago

Sorry, I wasn't meant to post that, I hadn't finished. I love the detail, mostly in the first paragraph, it's like everything is described. And then also, how the actions are repeated in the other paragraphs. This was just perfect.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Oh that's tragic, I love it. I love how the collar is throughout the whole story, and how it's mentioned at the end. And then the fact that it was her coffin... tragic. And I didn't expect her to be dead until I read the word 'coffin.' I love that.

Posted 7 Years Ago

This brought tears to my eyes. What a lovely way to show the change of a marriage with the way she fixes his collar. I feel like I know so much about these characters even though the story was so short. You are a fantastic writer and you have such a way with the little details. Absolutely beautiful.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Posted 7 Years Ago

Wow... I have goose bumps all up and down my arms. This was such a truly sad but touching story. Realizing things too late are the worst in the world. Regrets we can never take back. Loosing love with unspoken words. Words that may have changed the course of the day.
You made me cry...brat... xo ;p.

Posted 8 Years Ago

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Author

Philippines

About

I've been seriously starting to write my own novels since 2008. So far, I've finished three novels and have a lot of unfinished ones piled up. I also write short stories and poems and the occasional s.. more..