Spoilers Do A Job On Wallets, Nothing For Cars

You see them all the time now, on the trunk lids of new cars, sporty-looking and not-so-sporty-looking. They resemble oversized lift handles or misplaced aircraft wings.

They are called rear spoilers, and they are being offered increasingly as options on new cars.

Not just on overpowered, pseudo sports cars like the Chevy Camaro or the Ford Mustang. Spoilers can also be found on such otherwise sedate models as the Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, Oldsmobile Achieva, Nissan Sentra and Mercedes 190E. They're attached to the rear ends of the Volvo 850 and the Ford Tempo and Escort. Even Saturn, which bills itself as a no-nonsense, straightforward automobile, offers an optional spoiler.

You now can order a spoiler for virtually every new car model sold in America. If it doesn't come from the factory, the dealer will be happy to install one for you - for a price.

The idea isn't new. Formula I racing cars have been using them for years. The principle is simple: It's the reverse of an aircraft wing.

The spoiler generates downward airflow on the rear of the car, thereby increasing traction without requiring an increase in curb weight. It's an effective racing device, provided you're running the track at about 200 mph. But street vehicles are a different story. You simply aren't going to reach speeds where a spoiler's effects would be significant.

Furthermore, most of the spoiler manifestations cropping up on our highways aren't engineered components. They're added for styling. They're gingerbread.

And they're very expensive, especially when you consider that they're basically useless. How expensive? About $700 on a Toyota Celica or Honda Accord. Or $500 on the Volvo. Only GM, which is fighting for market share at the moment, seems to be reticent about gouging for spoilers. On most of its models, the option runs less than $200. But even GM's price is exorbitant, compared with the manufacturing cost.

In a recent and informal survey of new-car dealers in the Washington area, I asked every salesperson who approached me about spoilers. I also collected as many brochures on new cars as I could, looking to read what the automobile manufacturers were saying about spoilers in their promotional literature.

The results of my little expedition should be eye-opening for cost-conscious car-shoppers.

The typical pitch is that the spoiler will help improve traction. But when you ask for specifics - engineering data, say - you immediately get a verbal shuffle about how it's too complicated for a layperson to understand.

In some cases, however, the salespeople won't try to mislead you.

''What does a spoiler do?'' I asked at a Honda dealership. ''It makes the car look better,'' was the reply.

''Oh yeah? For how much?''

''About $700.''

''Would you spend that kind of money on the thing?'' I asked.

''Not me, man,'' the salesman replied, sheepishly.

One hint of the uselessness of spoilers, and the unspoken line over which the car manufacturers won't step, is how they are described in the sales literature. Only a few of the brochures I collected categorized spoilers as a performance-enhancing feature. Those were for high-end, high-performance models.

Instead, loose references were made to their sporty appearances. In other words, no carmaker will claim in print that a rear spoiler actually does you any good on the road. The closest I found to an overt statement was contained in the brochure for the Toyota Supra, which sells for nearly $50,000. In it, the company touts the $700 option as ''Helping to increase downforce and stability at the higher speeds. . . . ''

Although they have been an option for several years, none of the major consumer magazines has turned its attention to spoilers - not Consumer Reports, the Car Book, Consumer Guide, Car & Driver, or Road and Track, for instance.

Buy a bicycle instead

Possibly the height of absurdity is the sight of spoilers on the rear decks of such models as the Camry and the Accord, which have front-wheel drive. An idle question: If spoilers were truly effective, shouldn't carmakers install them on the hoods of their front-drive models?

True, there are many other options that are just as expensive. But this isn't like a sunroof, which costs a lot but at least has a function. Or fog lamps. Or even a tachometer for a model with an automatic transmission. The spoiler has no function whatsoever except to liberate more of your money.

So what's a consumer to do? First and foremost, don't waste a dime on a spoiler. If you absolutely must have one, insist the dealer give you a discount equal to its mark-up on the sticker price.

My recommendation is that you take the money you would have spent on a spoiler and go out and buy yourself a bicycle rack - and a good bicycle to put on it. You will have purchased a much more useful addition to your car's rear deck, a wonderful alternative mode of transportation and a boon to your personal fitness.