JLo: who’s next

Like I said in the original post on Friday about the JLo/Marc Anthony break up – click here if you missed it – when Jennifer Lopez is done, she is DONE. She falls out of it fast, she gets over it even faster. In fact, we’ll probably spend more time analysing her split than she will. She’s too busy looking for love again.

So... what happened?

For those of you who’ve emailed, amazingly enough, this had nothing to do with the Church of Xenu. This had everything to do with the fact that she was feeling stifled, suffocated, that she was tired of Marc’s management – of her time, of her feelings, of her relationships – and his paranoid suspicions. He loved that she’s the JLo, that she’s a massive star, he hates that she’s the JLo, that she’s a massive star, because in that way, he had to share her. Ultimately Jennifer Lopez will not be held down.

As you know, when it comes these matters, it’s almost more intriguing to me how the strategy works as opposed to the sh-t that actually went down. Four separate sources have confirmed to me that Us Weekly had this exclusive ready to go as early as Tuesday of last week. Apparently when they approached Lopez’s side for comment, she didn’t even bother to deny it, but asked for a day or two to get organised and release a statement. I’m told that there was drama between the two sides that held it up – it appeared that Lopez was much more eager to get this out there than Marc, and in the end, allegedly, when Marc found out that Lopez was going to announce it through Us Weekly, he decided to beat her to it and ran to People Magazine which...

Supposedly they insist this is amicable and that they’ll be able to remain civil while working on their new reality show Q’Viva! Really? When you can’t even agree on which outlet to go through? It is amazing what people will endure for money, non? And what happens when JLo comes to set with her new boyfriend? Or Marc comes to rehearsal with his new beauty queen?

And who might that be?

With JLo it’ll be a torrid affair. Hopefully someone like Gerard Butler, as my friend Laura worried the other day. Vile. I feel sick at the thought of it. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be dirty and amazing...

Still...

Not as dirty and amazing as reader Maria C’s truly INSPIRED suggestion:

JLo and Eminem.

PLEASE.

He’s even put it in a song before:

Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbizit'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this! – Eminem, I’m Back

Write this down on your Gossip Wish List for the Gossip Genie. Come on. This is what I want for my birthday.