(I work for a company that does underwriting for loan programs in other states, and thus talk to a lot of contractors. I’m also a type-two diabetic who occasionally has blood sugar crashes. I’ve just explained to a contractor what he needs in order to get paid on a job, which his client insists has already been taken care of, and I am feeling the light-headed wooziness that comes with a blood sugar crash.)

Me:*trying to get through the call quickly to go get something to eat* “Is there anything else I can help you with today, sir?”

Contractor: “Yeah… Could you just shoot me?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that; it’s illegal. Also, you’re in New Jersey and I’m in Wisconsin; that’s crossing state lines, and I don’t want to get the FBI involved.”

Coworker:*snorts, then starts laughing*

Contractor:*quiet for a second, then bursts out laughing* “Fair enough! Have a good night!”