Isn't it funny how, whoever is appointed Grand National starter, he always sounds like the judge at the start of Porridge?

Aintree has done a decent job in losing its toffee-nosed-ness - what with Ladies' Day for the local Liverpool lovelies (one I spotted yesterday was nicknamed Gideon by her mates because she's been in so many hotel rooms), and a sponsorship with a no-nonsense brewer instead of some poncey blue-chip company.

However, it still persists in making one Hooray Henry after another its big-race starter.

These are the kind of people who, if called posh, wouldn't treat it as an insult.

And it's not as if they're any good. Eight minutes late the big race was last year. I've known some buses to arrive earlier than that, though never mine.

It's a 40-runner field in the big race and today's starter for 40, something John Parrott orders at the Aintree restaurant, is Sean McDonald .

McDonald has hardly been given a vote of confidence by bookies Paddy Power, who make it an even-money shot that he makes a McPig's ear of it and the race is off at least four minutes late. Any starter who starts the race that late should be an automatic non-starter.

But I hear on the grapevine (the same way I heard that Marvin Gaye had died) that a new starting procedure will be employed today. I'm guessing it's a pistol for unruly horses and a machine gun for disobedient jockeys.

My moles tell me that the 5-2 for a late start of less than two minutes will definitely do for starters.