PARK CITY '99: A Ten-Year Odyssey to "Regret to Inform"

It is rare when a documentary can be both extraordinarily personal andmake an overwhelmingly universal statement at the same time. “RegrettoInform,” one of Sundance’s most poignant, compassionate 1999 entries

(and a 1999 IFP Spirit Award nominee), is not only a deeply movingexplorationof one woman’s experience, but a powerful anti-war statement that drawsfrom an often overlooked point of view: the women who were left behind.Though the film steers away from deliberately political questions, itquietly warns us of the dangers of looking at war through the cold lensof politics. For when we merely see “the other,” when we see onlyprotocol and power struggles, war becomes an unfortunately logicalresolution.

Barbara Sonneborn, a Berkeley-based artist and filmmaker, begancrafting her film “Regret to Inform” over ten years ago, but the storyreally began long before that. In 1968, just before her 24th birthday,

Sonneborn’s first husband, Jeff Gurvitz, was killed during amortarattack in Vietnam. It was a devastating, tragic blow that filledSonneborn with anger — about the war, about political policy, about the

way Jeff had been misused and betrayed by the U.S. government. Throughthe 1970s and 1980s, Sonneborn expressed many of these feelings throughher work. As a photographer and visual artist, many of her projectsdealt with her feelings about death. And after 20 years of exploringthese themes, Sonneborn felt as if the darkest period of her life wasover; she had successfully “pulled herself back into life.”

On January 1, 1988, however, she woke up with a single, overwhelmingthought: she needed to make a statement about Jeff’s death. With thetwentieth anniversary of his demise approaching, Sonneborn realized thatthough she had immersed herself in her own experience with Vietnam, shehad never met other Vietnam widows. Widows not just from America, butfrom Vietnam. She wanted to hear their stories, to know how they wereaffected by their husband’s deaths. She wanted to learn what they hadlearned about war, not just the Vietnam War, but war in the largercontext of human nature and human suffering. Sonneborn began writing aletter to Jeff, telling him how his death had affected his life. Thatletter later became the narrative thread that weaves “Regret to Inform”together.

Sonneborn started searching for a medium for the project. At the time,she had been experimenting with etched anodized aluminum. She thoughtshe might create a large installation piece, perhaps a graveyard or aquilt made from the cold, hard material. But as a studio artist,Sonneborn knew that exposure for a project like this was limited, atbest. She had always been frustrated by the small numbers of people who

actually attend art installations. “I realized that media was the onlyway to reach a large number of people.” So, after overcoming heranxiety about her inexperience as a filmmaker, she decided to make afilm. “I had no idea what I was getting into, of course,” she says.“That was probably a good thing.”

After plunging headfirst into the world of filmmaking as her ownproducer, writer, and director, Sonneborn’s first step was to look forfinancing. The initial development money came from The CaliforniaCouncil of the Humanities. From there, she sought donations and funding

from private foundations and individuals, and received support from theBay Area Video Coalition, and the Film Arts Foundation.But as usual,raising the money was a long, slow process, accomplished in fits andstarts. “We must have written letters of inquiry to over 200organizations,” recalls Sonneborn. “But the truth is, if I’d had allthe funding right up front, it wouldn’t have been as good a film.”First-time director Sonneborn discovered filmmaking to be an intricateprocess of learning, both about her subject matter and her new craft.“That process ended up influencing and expanding my thinking and myvision tremendously.”

Sonneborn then began seeking out Veteran’s organizations and contacts.She felt that before she embarked on the project, she needed the support

of veterans — support that she overwhelmingly received. While in NewYork in 1989, Sonneborn met Daniel Reeves, a video artist andVietnamVeteran. He offered to conduct the first series of interviews withAmerican widows of the Vietnam War. Sonneborn met with a range ofresponses from her interviewees, from the reluctant to the appreciative.