"Use yo brain not a gat"

Those rappers are really onto something there. Gangsta rap is the the new, "My dog ate my homework." Gangsta rap is the new "traffic" excuse. Gangsta rap is the new "It wasn't me." I happen to be a serious fan of ultimate denial...."It was NOT me." Blaming gangsta rap is the new "flat tire." or "vertigo." (one of my favorites that I keep in my back pocket for rainy days) Gangsta rap is a snow day. Brilliant. I'd like to be completely unaccountable for all of the shit that I've done in the past. Especially that, that was/is? detrimental.

I'm pretty sure that most people would like to blame Gangsta Rap, for instance;

*Eliot Spitzer, he was all about some hooker action and I think he'd like to take NO RESPONSIBILITY for it. It's the pimps fault. Or the the mafia (we can blame the mafia too, since they're the OG of all things gangsta inspired.)*Bill Clinton, blow jobs at work are either raunchy or are they gangstaaa?*I'm sure Britney Spears would like to blame that whole head-shaving fiasco on the hoodlums, they definitely had something do with those dice tattooed on her wrist. Oh wait, maybe that was Kevin? Which is one and the same, or so he'd like to think.*Fergie should definitely take NO responsibility for doing a front walk over in leather pants on American Idol's "Big Give" last night, from what I know of leather garments, there was no give in those suckers. Fuckin leather pants?? Can someone check to see if she's packing a stash, she's lost her damn brain.

On a more personal note, I would like to take a moment to blame Gangsta Rap for the following actions I have taken;

1. The various times I have responded to a relative, employers, cashiers etc. with "Word." Instead of yes, or thank you.

2. The time I broke into my house. At least it was mine.

3. For my affinity for greenery. Legalize it.

4. For not calling or returning calls to most men who hit on me: the guy from Utah who gave me his card- sorry bro, all of the dudes I have talked to on planes (and I travel a lot), Mammound, you're in my cell phone but I have no recollection of meeting you? The guy from Starbucks who let me listen to his ipod, and all of those who I've lost interest in, after a single conversation. You know who you are- it's not you it's me and my inner pimp. Actually, I'm still wounded and I'm sure the "inflicter" would blame his FUCKING UP MY MIND, (temporarily, we hope) on gangsta rap so, I'll let it slide.

5. For bartering with a street vendor on the cost of a churro. from $1 to fifty cents.

6. The time I drunkenly tried to convince my mother that Mcdonalds in Oklahoma would deliver, "Ma, they'll delliverr, caush if youuu lived here, you'd be WAITING to get out, MA- I'd even tell 'em I'll promote their businesss if they deliver. Give me the phone. It'll be the best day of their life."

7. The copious amount of white eye liner I wore in 7th grade.

8. The time I threw a party in high school while the 'rents were out of town, and til this day there are stains on my ceiling from people shotgunning beers in my kitchen. Classy.

12. Parking in the handicap spot with an expired sticker my Granny jacked for me.

13. Road rage. Which has turned into "Walk rage" down NYC streets. My pace is on fire.

I'd like to blame gangsta rap for my secret desire to want to evade paying my taxes, for making me press the snooze button more than three times, for forgetting birthdays, and for picking at my cuticles. I'd like gangsta rap to justify my neurosis, my sailor's mouth and my urge to spend my non-money on things like candles and tapestry's.Gangsta rap is responsible for sticking my foot in my mouth, thinking not all babies are cute, liking Shayne from The Bachelor, judging people who wear Crocs (even if they are comfortable), and for thinking I'm always right.

So from now on all of my mishaps, overdrawn fees, cravings for chocolate bars dipped in peanut butter, "running late", and hang overs. Are due to, gansta rap. Which is a better excuse than, "My parole officer said..."

I credit Gangsta rap with my unnecessary preoccupation with the rivalry between the bloods and the crips (actual Sequined quote before a party once in college: "If you wear red, I will not talk to you; Bloods wear red."), for my wardrobe in high school, and for my secret dream of being the token white girl in a Snoop Dogg video someday. I also credit Gangsta rap with all the fun I've ever had out at clubs, because techno is less slutty and thus less fun.

Oh man, the white eyeliner was so tragic...I wore it (and black liquid eyeliner on top, you know, just for a little definition) for several years in late high school/early college years...I was watching the little "Real World Awards" that they did on MTV a week or so back and they showed Amaya (Hawaii)--she was QUEEN of the white eyeliner. Word.

I definitely blame gangsta rap for my plan to leave work a little early on a Friday afternoon :)

I blame gangsta rap for referring to everyone on the road in my way as "bitches" which sometimes comes out in a high pitched voice. Gangsta rap is also responsible for eating the last of the ice cream, refusing to say hi to sudtomers when I'm tired, working out to booty shaking rap, poking at my dog till he growls at me and waiting for my husband to clean things. Gangsta rap... it's a bitch, yo.

I blame gangsta rap for forcing me to betray my people and teach my German husband the secret black people hand slap. If you are black, you hold out your hand and say - gimme 5. Get the 5 and then turn your hand over to the brown side and say - now on the black hand side. Oh snap, I just told you guys. DAMN GANGSTA RAP!

This is a real trend possibility. I'm thinking of that time I accidentally confused an IM with my mother for the IM with my best friend, therefore calling my mother a drunken whore with a thing for bitches. That was not my proudest moment. I blame gangsta rap.

whoah - i dont BLAME gangsta rap any more, i EMBRACE it. some lady yelled at me for crossing the street before the green light came on (im in germany, remember, they are crazy about the rules) and i actually barked (yes, like a dog) at her and yelled 'i do what i want!'. my roommate who was with me was embarrassed but whatever yo. true story.

I seldom create comments, however i did a few searching and wound up here ""Use yo brain not a gat"".And I actually do have a couple of questions for you if you don't mind. Could it be only me or does it appear like some of the comments come across like written by brain dead individuals? :-P And, if you are posting on other online social sites, I'd like to follow anything new you have to post. Could you list of every one of all your shared sites like your Facebook page,twitter feed, or linkedin profile?