Tatty Clothes Club will be holding a workshop for rich people who want to pretend they are homeless.

TUESDAY

Edinburgh’s half wise orchestra; The One Eyed Owls, will be meeting next Tuesday with kazoos, kites and spoons to play a few tunes and hold an open forum on the merits of procrastination.

The Completely Fake Nudist club (perverts’ club) will be meeting next Tuesday to try and muscle The One Eyed Owls out of the Tuesday night slot. Members and sympathizers are asked to bring hammers, golf clubs and anything blunt and throwable.

WEDNESDAY

Militant Vegan night

Guest speaker Johnny the Renegade Vegetarian puts forth the quandary: Why not have a kebab?

THURSDAY

Lefty night

“The best way to act politically is to get a good slogan, live in a van and follow the G8 everywhere they go like a backwards groupie. Imagine if everybody did that! Imagine indeed.”

FRIDAY

CRAYONS AND PLASTICINE NIGHT

SATURDAY

Lets see who’s quick enough to claim the speakers

SUNDAY

Friends of the earth

Animal lovers will be meeting to discuss the best way to get bank accounts for members of the animal kingdom. Animals are not financial idiots, they just have not been presented with the right options.

NODAY

The Random Writing Group will be meeting wherever to write whatever. THEY HAVE PUT AN END TO REPETITION- you wont be seeing this again. Leave an obscure message with brian RAndom at boflynn78@yahoo.co.uk