About this “solo female travel” thing.

When I first began planning my gap year of international travel I had never heard of the phrase “solo female travel.” I didn’t know it was a thing. A movement rather, of independent women like myself seeking adventure across the globe. In my naivety I hadn’t even hesitated to consider traveling the world alone. I’d traveled abroad in the past and felt confident in my ability to navigate the challenges long-term traveling would bring. I was optimistic and excited.

This optimism soon turned to anxiety when I began sharing my plans with others. Suddenly I received negative feedback from co-workers and friends who frequently showed me articles of women disappearing while traveling alone abroad and made jokes about me spending the rest of my life pooping in holesomewhere in the jungle. Their skepticism was thinly veiled by wary smiles of support and cautious enthusiasm.

It felt as if I were breaking some unspoken rule, as if I were testing an invisible boundary tied to my gender and our beliefs about what women are and are not capable of doing on our own.Kayaking in Greece, 2011

I never planned on being a “solo female traveler.” I just knew I was living a life inconsistent with my values and beliefs and that I had to change. I was responding to an inner voice telling me to make a move, to take a leap of faith and step into the Unknown.

Traveling has always brought cathartic change in my life and been my chosen method of therapy, so it only made sense that I would travel while realigning my priorities and seeking a more authentic lifestyle. Deciding to travel alone wasn’t a conscious decision I made, it was the only option since friends and family couldn’t afford to go with me.

I’ve been traveling alone for five months now and the more I read and write, the more I experience, the more I realize that what I am doing is not unique or particular. Women all over the world are traveling on their own seeking adventure and authentic lifestyles.They are breaking rules and charting their own path.

In spite of this, there are so many negative and polarizing narratives about solo female travel, this “thing” that is picking up steam and drawing international attention. I recently read an article titled, “Dangers of Traveling While Female.” The article itself didn’t discuss any statistics about why traveling as a female was more dangerous than traveling as a male; there was no evidence for why gender made any difference in the safety of traveling alone.

Instead, author Tara Isabella Burton lamented the lot of the female solo adventurer when compared to the freedom and openness of the male travel heroes she admired. “I wanted to be a fearless adventurer like my male heroes, but a voice kept warning me: Don’t get yourself raped,” she says.

I feel a lot of inner conflict each time I read an article or commentary like this. Tara continues her narrative with, “But deep down, I’ll know that such freedom is born of a privilege I do not have and perhaps should not want. It is a privilege that blinds those who have it to the fact that the world is not raw material, shifting, uncertain geography for us to shape and create anew in our words. It is not a moveable stage set upon which we can create visions of ourselves, invent ourselves as the adventurers we would like to be.”

Part of me understands her perspective and the limitations our gender forces us to live within. I can relate to her inner monologue of “Don’t get raped,” and I can’t deny that my vulnerability as a woman traveling alone affects certain decisions I make.I almost said “no” to this solo jungle trek in Ecuador in 2012.I have a hard time admitting this because I’m not sure that it should. As women we are conditioned to constantly worry. We’re told directly and indirectly that we are the weaker sex and are taught to depend upon our male counterparts for strength and security. We tell ourselves certain opportunities are not open to us because we are women, and this idea is reinforced by societies all over the world.

Tara goes on to say, “My approach must be a different one. I must watch; I must listen; I must look. I must sometimes remain silent and observe; I must avoid calling undue attention to myself. I must sacrifice the desire, born of too many readings of “A Time of Gifts,” to become the hero of my own story, the folk adventurer with the lace-up boots.”

Perhaps I don’t pay enough attention to the fact that I am a young female traveling alone. Perhaps I should take my father’s advice after this happened and “never walk anywhere alone,” an idea men everywhere would scoff at and never take seriously. Maybe I should listen to another globe trotter’s advice when she said, “I would never couch surf as a female traveling alone.”

But then I wouldn’t have met Fred, who invited me to stay with his family after couch surfing with him in Biarritz. I wouldn’t have shared a picnic in a field of wildflowers next to the Normandy beach with two boys I barely knew. I wouldn’t have met Guillermo or enjoyed a bonfire on the beach in Mexico. If I had based my decision solely on my gender, I never would’ve seen the virginAmazon jungleand I never would’ve captured this beautiful sunset as I set off to walk along the coast alone.I spent a night guerrilla camping along this shoreline in Hendaye, France.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have moments where I wished I was a man traveling alone instead of a woman. I recently attended a ferria in France where I spent an entire sleepless night being woken up by strangers unzipping my tent and peering in at me. I cried angry, hot tears of frustration that night and thanked God I didn’t have a knife with me because I would’ve used it. Being constantly on your guard and fending off unwanted attention takes an emotional and mental toll that somehow leads to even more vulnerability.

It’s a Catch-22 I still don’t quite understand- being told the only thing to protect you from the unsolicited advances of men is to surround yourself with more men.Spending time with new and old friends in San Sebastien, Spain 2013

I honestly wish “solo female travel” wasn’t a thing. I wish it were an outdated and irrelevant narrative. I wish we could spend less time talking about gender and more time sharing human stories that have nothing to do with our sex. I wish the undertone of fear and concerns for safety didn’t permeate our dialogue.

As for me, I continue to believe that I can and will reinvent myself as I travel the globe. The world is shifting and changing, new opportunities for adventure do exist. I will continue taking calculated risks and saying yes to jungle walks and ferrias, even if it means going alone. I will keep smiling at strangers and accepting kindness, even if it’s being offered by the hand of a man. I will be careful. I will listen to my instincts and choose to keep trusting in spite of thefear mongeringaround and within me.

Maybe I will get raped in an alleyway. Perhaps I’ll die of malaria in Africa. It’s possible I’ll be murdered and thrown oversea to never return home. I live with these unknowns and I accept them. I hope to live a long life where none of these things happen to me. But I want to live, to really live and not let the worse case scenario playing out in my head to stop me from experiencing the life I love.

Unlike Tara, I refuse to sacrifice the desire to become the hero of my own story, a story where I hope the fact that I am a solo female traveler is not the only thing people remember.Meeting members of the Waorani tribe in rural Ecuador 2012

What are your thoughts on solo female travel? Do you think it’s a necessary and relevant topic? How does gender define the way you travel?

Hello! I'm a thirty-something(!) from the Midwest who six years ago decided to quit my very normal job and life to travel the world in pursuit of simplicity and freedom. Several continents, adventures, and misadventures later, I'm back in Kansas City holding to the stubborn belief that you can have both roots and wings.

You Might Also Like

30 Comments

Hi Mariah, thank you so much for sharing your valuable experience with us! I’ve traveled mostly solo throughout muy life in almost every continent and every time im getting ready for a new trip i encounter the same anxiety and internal (and external) voices.. This time Im heading to Mexico for two months and i am wondering if you have any tips, on things i should pay attention to, and special recommendations. I am planning to travel to San Guanajuato province, San Luis de Potosi and then to the beaches of Qintana Roo…
Thank you so much!!!

Hi Ale,
Thank you so much for your kind words of feedback! I love the city of Guanajuato, some of my favorite colors and scenery in Mexico. The Callejon de besos is a fun touristic spot to visit and they have a walking tour you can take as well. Tulum is a must in my opinion if you will be in that area of the coast. It is breathtaking! I didn’t love Cozumel because it is hard to get around the island without a car or some type of transport. Otherwise, enjoy your experiences!

Hi Mariah, I’m Kim from Vietnam, I just quit my job also and plan to travel alone via workaway. You have a great blog and article which make me confidence a lot with my plan. Thank you for your sharing 🙂

Wow, Leah! Thanks so much for sharing your story. I love Valladolid and Mexico so much. I hope you follow your dreams and have enough confidence to explore the world. Don’t let anyone discourage you! My little sister backpacked through Central America for three months on her own when she was just 20…I featured her on a blog titled, “Pathfinders.” If she can do it, I know you can too! Good luck, buen viaje 🙂

I have nothing but the utmost respect for solo female travelers. Kudos to you and all of your fellow females out there for having the guts and tenacity to head out into the big wide world all alone and conquer any fears you may have.

I know that whenever you head out there, you will always meet up with new folks and similar people but it does take a lot of courage to make that initial stride I am sure!

I’m a solo female traveller and have joined groups or totally backpacked from place to place on my own. I think as long as you’re careful, it will be ok. That goes for solo and in a group. Gut instinct is good to go with most of the time.Kate recently posted…I Fell In Love With Newcastle & Gateshead

I’m a solo female traveller but i’m never alone! And I never feel in danger..I hitch hike, I couchsurf, I go to places by myself and that helps me meet more people and be accepted and invited everywhere. The truth is that being a girl and travelling by myself opens so many doors and opportiunities…

Hi Elena! I couldn’t agree more! I think traveling alone can actually open more opportunities than traveling with friends or a boyfriend. People tend to look out for you and take care of you more. Works for me!

This was an excellent and thought-provoking read. I haven’t travelled alone yet, but will probably be taking my first solo trip next month. i absolutely agree with what you said about being careful and taking calculated risks. That’s what it’s all about! We don’t have to travel recklessly but we also don’t have to be afraid at every moment. It really bothers me when people, especially other women, try to limit women in what we can do solely based on our sex. I don’t live in Candyland and I recognize that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and perfect equality for everyone. There are some things that we as female travelers have to think about a little more than our male counterparts, but that should never stop us in really living and traveling the way we want to.

Hi Jessica, I agree whole heartedly! Women are especially hard on other women and I think this sometimes comes from a place of envy or insecurity. We have to be careful, but also realize the world is a beautiful place waiting for us to discover!

Very nice read, I really enjoyed your original style and mind-awakening content. I can assure you that this article is interesting also for man readers like me, not only female travelers. Really loved this, I will follow your stories more regularly!Gabor Kovacs recently posted…A very special Carnival in Sitges

Thanks Gabor! I’m glad to know that men can also appreciate an article like this! There are so many kind human beings around the planet, I think it’s unfortunate our gender can divide instead of unite us. Cheers!

We hope you live a long life of adventure as well! As you’ve said, you can’t let fear restrict your life. A great article, and a great way to remember to live life to the fullest. Happy blogging and safe travels!Jules and Christine recently posted…The 7 Best Beaches of Latin America

Great article! It’s sad that women still have to be cautious and get judged when we want to go on a solo trip. Bad things can happen to both genders but that shouldn’t hold us back from exploring at our free will. I’m glad you were able to travel solo and experience the amazing adventures you did. I haven’t done my own big solo trip (just small ones here and there) but I can imagine that it opens your eyes to so many new things and you learn a lot about yourself.Samantha @mytanfeet recently posted…Seabird Sailing Excursions – First Time Cruising Under the Costa Rican Sky

Thanks for the comment Samantha! It’s true, women are often more vulnerable than men, but I think this vulnerability is overstated. We are also stronger in some ways too, and this should be celebrated! Happy and safe travels 🙂

This post really touched on my views about travelling alone as a woman. I have my worries but , like you, I really want to live my life and not hold back through fear. I can only hope that i am as brave and strong as you when I come to travelling internationally.

Thank you for your kind words Anneka! I do not feel very brave, I just feel very blessed to have encountered so many wonderful and kind strangers during my travels. I’m happy to consider many of them friends, and I hope women like you will continue pursuing whatever gives you joy in life!

I really enjoyed your article! I currently have a 2-week trip planned abroad as a solo female traveler, and everyone has told me things ranging from “You’re going to get kidnapped and sold into prostitution” to “You’ll disappear and we’ll never find you”. They actually scared me to the point where I considered canceling my trip, but reading posts like this inspire me to keep moving forward with my plans. 🙂

What an absolutely beautiful article. New fan to the blog and definitely had to comment. I’m going to be bookmarking and reading everything you written! Hope you can check out my blog too because I’m experiencing the same thing …was actually wondering why the solo female traveling is getting so much attention and actually it is just making us more afraid to seek out aventures. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to reading more of your stories!Letitia -The Fashion Editor recently posted…2 week countdown until I travel around the world indefinitely

Thanks Letitia! I will be keeping up with your stories as well, looks like you’re about to start a great adventure! All of the workaways you’ve booked sound really cool, can’t wait to hear more about them! And yes, perpetuating fear and focusing only on our gender isn’t a helpful narrative, it only keeps more people from pursuing their dreams!

About Me

Hello! I'm Mariah. I'm a seeker of contentment, yet a tireless wanderer full of wonder. I like to cook homemade curry, travel the world, and write about things like social justice and community. It’s my goal every day to learn and love with abandon. Join me on the journey!