I just wanted to give the caregiver's a view what they have to look forward to when the elderly die. This is not legal advice but just what I and others have experienced. You decide on your own what to do (with your lawyer's advice or after your own research). Don't follow what I say (I know nothing).

My mother was in hospice. When she died, we called her nurse who came and pronounced her dead. Later, we got a call from her Dr. who said she died of a stroke. End of story. No problems.

My father was not in hospice yet. But he was nearing the end. When he died, I could not wake him. I called 911 and they took him to the hospital. My punishment for not having him in hospice was that the hospital billed $11,000 for him being in a coma for 15 hours (government paid for almost all of it). The medical examiner questioned me for 15 minutes. Then they decided not to do an autopsy and left me alone. It was stressful talking with these medical examiner guys hours after my father's death. Like I was the cause of his death or something.

A friend of mine is a nurse. Her father went into a coma. They did not call 911 and they visited with him and talked to him and he died a couple days later. It was like they were saying goodbye to him. He had cancer and was terminal (the Doctors said so) but was not in hospice.That may have been a mistake. Her punishment was that the funeral home said she had to tell the police. The police came out and snooped around her home and treated her house like a crime sceine. Eventually they left her alone. She said it was very stressful.

Remember that the profile of an elder abuser is a relative, who lets an elderly person live in the caregiver's house. The abuser may have some inheritance coming from the elderly person. The authorities will view you that way.

The problem is that 90% of the people who take care of elderly in their home are relatives. People don't normally take care of elderly in their home who are not related to them. So most people who take care of the elderly in the home fit the profile of an abuser. The authorities will view you as fitting the profile of an abuser.

I suppose the good thing is that at the end of the day, they left us alone. But it is very stressful having these people look at you and ask you questions about why your love one died after you went to so much effort to help them. So be prepared for that. Make sure you call 911 if you have concerns about the elderly person's health and take them to the Dr as necessary so no one can say they did not get care. Any concerns, make sure you ask the elderly person if they want to go to the Dr. or hospital and follow their direction (assuming they are compentent, if not competent, I would just call 911). If in doubt, call 911 and let the governement pay for it. Its not your money and you don't want someone second guessing your decision. The medical professionals at the hospital will always ask you who the elderly person's doctors are. This is a test to see if you know, because if you are taking good care of them you would know. So carry the names around in your wallet. If you get your parent in hospice, it is easier in dealing witht the authorities.

So your reward for all this work will be being questioned about how you let your love one die who was probably terminal anyway.

And before you ask, yes my father had a living will. I believe I followed it and that did not stop the questioning. Like I said at the end of the day they left me alone. But who wants this stress.

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