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It's Better to Have Loved

I’M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! *EAT BRAINS* NO. No. CUT! For those of you whose story I reviewed, you may know I’m still here, but I’m sorry I haven’t updated. I have a severe case of writer’s block so this should cure it (hopefully). I’ll update the other fics as soon as I get the chance, but I’m out of ideas. This will be a two-shot.

Rated: T for implied sex
Shipping: ContestShipping

Warning: Drew is kind of OOC in this story, so… Don’t flame me saying that Drew would never do that kind of thing.

Drew's POV
“I love you. You know that right?” I looked down at the bright blue eyes of the owner of that voice: my girlfriend, May Maple. Her shiny brown hair whipped around in the wind as she interlaced her hands with mine.

“I know. I love you, too.” I said that half-heartedly, but she smiled and looked at the sunset glittering over the sea. It was peaceful out here, no paparazzi or fans. No concerts and noisiness. “But you know I love you more,” I smirked.

I watched as she pouted cutely. “You do not! I love you more and I will prove it!” She attacked me with her sweet lips and I returned it, savoring the moment. I really missed this when we broke up shortly after she found me cheating on her with a fan girl. She had heard moans coming from my bedroom. We don’t live together, but it was my birthday and I thought she was going out. Apparently she had come to surprise me at my house, but came in to find me under the covers with another girl. I regretted it as soon as I saw her run out with tears.

Now, we live together in a quaint little house at the corner of the street. We had been back together for a month now after I heard her sing “Perfectly Good Heart” to me. Oh man, do I miss her voice. In fact, that’s how we met: at a singing competition. It was before I was an international popstar and we were both offered record deals. I accepted mine but she didn’t. I remember how stupid I was that I didn’t get together with her until five years later, but that’s another story. I still remember the first time I sang to her.

*FLASHBACK*
“Hey everyone! How are you all tonight?” I yelled out into the crowd. The people roared with cheers. “Glad to hear! Today, I will be singing to my new girlfriend, May Maple!” There were some screams and some boos, but I didn’t care. I turned and saw the stage crew motioning for my girlfriend to sit on a stool next to me. My girlfriend. My girlfriend. I liked the sound of that.

I motioned to the band to start and the drummer started with an upbeat drum roll and I made eye contact with May, and I started to sing one of my biggest hits.
*FLASHBACK*

I have to say, even though I like her, it isn’t enough to satisfy me, these make out sessions. As we pulled apart, I realized I needed something more than this. I was a growing man with special needs after all. I smirked thinking about getting May in bed when I was suddenly interrupted mid-thought. “Hey, what are you making that face for?” May looked at me with her eyebrows raised.

“Nothing you would understand, July.” I unconsciously flicked my bangs out of my eyes. Her cute cheeks flooded with a bright scarlet color.

“I’ll have you know that I am perfectly capa-“ She was cut-off as a scream pierced through the air.

“LOOK, IT’S DREW HAYDEN!” I looked around in shock and horror. There were tons and tons of fans rushing towards me.

I tried shouting, “Hey! This is a private beach!” but to no avail. Quickly, I grabbed May’s hand and ran to my house. I quickly scanned my hand on the pad and pulled May inside the open door. As soon as I got there I was panting while May was giggling. Her figure was shaking uncontrollably due to laughter and her facial features were graced with lightness. Her bangs brushed into her face slightly. I reached out and pushed the bangs back behind her ear and leaned closer and closer until my lips touched hers. She put her hands on my cheeks and deepened the kiss while I wrapped my arms around her waist. We withdrew and bumped foreheads together. I gazed at her eyes and she blushed and looked away.

“Come on, let’s go deposit our Pokémon into the play room.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later, after dinner, I led May upstairs into our bedroom. I was thinking about the phone call that happened during dinner. My manager had called me and told me about a series of concerts I was performing at Jitsu, a region on the other side of Japan. I heard a voice call, “Drew? Are you okay?” I snapped out of my trance and looked at May. Oh ****, looks like she saw through my calm facial expression. “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh nothing,” I answered.

She frowned. “Come on, Drew! Tell me what’s wrong.”

Sighing, I answered, “I have a bunch of concerts all the way in Jitsu.” I looked at her and frowned. “Let’s just try to enjoy tonight, ok?” I smirked, hoping she would understand what I meant. Luckily, this was one of those rare days when she wasn’t a dense ball of matter. I initiated the first kiss and we went on from there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was angry. Furious. Beyond irate. We could have gotten much farther last night, but we didn’t. WE ****ING DIDN’T. Am I not good enough for her to lose her virginity to? Who could be better than me? I pretended not to be angry as I kissed her good bye and boarded my tour bus. On the bus, I whipped out my cellphone and dialed a number. When the person on the other end picked up, I spoke quickly. “Cassie, meet me at the Night in Tokyo Hotel tomorrow at 9 pm. I’ll be waiting.” I could practically see her light up as she squealed and hung up.

As I looked out the window, I thought about all the fun me and Maple had together. Teasing her at contests, beating her all the time, going for ice cream… I smirked as I thought about the time she cried over her fallen cone and I had to buy her another one.

Just then, I saw a hot girl and presumably her boyfriend walk down the street. My train of thought moved to Cassie and her big chest and my smirk grew wider. As I drifted off to sleep, May was far from my conscious thoughts.

How was that? Did you like it? If you didn’t, I’m sorry. If you did, YAY!!!!! I will update my other stories soon. Sorry for the long wait. And I’m sad that this is so short, but I did the best that I could!

Hey everyone! I’m back! I have given up trying to improve this chapter, so I just decided to post it. Maybe in the future when I finally get better at writing, I’ll rewrite it, but for now, I can’t seem to do anything no matter how many times I reread it. Here’s the second half of the story. After this, I’ll work more on my other stories. Enjoy!

“Drew Hayden has done it again! I am right outside of the concert hall and you can hear the crowd roar Drew’s name!”

I stared at the TV, but I wasn’t really listening. Drew Hayden is the name of my boyfriend. I still remember the day we met, though I doubt he does. I have always had a feeling he would break my heart, so why did I come back? Inside, I knew the answer. Every time I looked at him, I would feel like everything in the world has turned right. All the evil melted away into his sparkling, green eyes. I understand that this was called “love” as so many of my friends have informed me.

When I first met him, he was so arrogant, yet his smugness attracted me to him. The smirk that he almost always wore would appear in my head at random times in the day and I would smile unconsciously to myself. We were both in a singing contest, and we made a competition out of it. Whoever won the day’s performance would have to do a dare that the other created. It was fun while it lasted. The day where they picked the winners came too soon. Drew and I were both offered record deals, but I turned mine down. I don’t think Drew knows why. I knew the music industry was hard enough to rise to the top without another new singer to compete with. I made a lot of money from coordinating, more than Drew does currently even. I bought all his expensive possessions for him while he showered me with little items. I didn’t mind since they had sentimental value, so I held them close to my heart. It sounds cliché, but to me, it was love at first sight, and I couldn’t compete with him. I decided to go back to coordinating, where I had friendly competition with all the top coordinators. I remembered my heart swelling with joy when he asked me to be his girlfriend, and when he first sang to me in front of the his whole audience, I knew the choice that I made was worth it.

Then came the day he… made a mistake, as he likes to call it. It was his birthday, and I wanted to surprise him at his apartment. I let my love for him get to my head and didn’t believe my friends when they told me he was a cheater. I even ignored the moans until I walked into his bedroom and found… her. Cassie Fushima. She was always trying to get Drew, and was really despicable. But even so, I had a feeling that I could never compete with her. Despite her behavior, she was beautiful. She is more beautiful than I am, than I will ever be. After a while, Drew apologized, but it just wasn’t the same anymore. I recalled the events from yesterday…

*FLASHBACK*

“I love you, you know that right?” I uttered it, more to address my fears than to express my love.

“I know. I love you, too.” I could hear truth in his voice, but when he stared down at me, everything I could see in his eyes was a lie. I have always known my love was unrequited. However, I put on my usual happy-go-lucky demeanor and he seems to have bought it.

Later that night, I had the best time of my life with Drew Hayden snuggled right next to me, but he wanted more. It’s a good thing I have strong willpower and didn’t look in his eyes, or I wouldn’t have been able to resist his plea. I really thought he respected my wishes. How wrong I was.

*FLASHBACK*

This morning, I gave him a warm smile that hid all my cold thoughts. I knew he was going to cheat on me this time. It’s my fault; I thought he respected my “no sex before marriage” principle, but I guess not. Inside, I already knew there was no hope, but I really loved him. I wanted to go after him. I couldn’t live without him. I used to cry every time he went to a concert in another reason, but didn’t know why. I thought I had clingy issues, but it turns out maybe a part of me knew that he was seeing other girls. I decided that this was one of those times where I could really trust my instincts. Everything was set up for tonight, and if my hunch is correct, I will never go back to that liar of a man again, no matter how hard my desires resist.

As I sat down on my chair, I fixed my wig and my glasses. With makeup and a stroke of luck, plus the darkness that should be in the room, I should be unrecognizable. I turned my head around to see all the sides in my mirror. I ran my fingers through my red strands and then put some more mascara on. It’s been a while since I had this job, and I hope I don’t screw up.

Satisfied, I grabbed an object from my shelf and a case and slammed the door. As I stepped out on the street, I fixed my fedora and smirked. Maybe all those years with Drew have rubbed off on me.

I shrugged off the tears forming in my eyes and smiled. Tonight, I will get my revenge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Blaziken, take the stage!” I whisper-shouted.

Bla- “Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!” The red bird looked at me curiously. I pointed at a window in the famous hotel, Night in Tokyo Hotel. Thankfully, he didn’t ask any questions.

“May, over here!” I ran to the source, which was a cluster of bushes in a yard. Blaziken followed quickly. “Is the camera working properly?”

“Yeah, it’s working fine.” I turned it on to prove it. I looked into the blue eyes of the person in the bushes. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go!” I adjusted my hat and microphone, and motioned for Blaziken to boost my partner to the window. Midnight blue flashed as she got up and peered in.

“Well, do you see anything?” I looked around and saw a field of roses on the far side. My eyes were drawn to it, and I couldn’t look away. So many memories. Did he just forget them? Like a blade sliced through them until they were no more in his mind? Was I that easily replaced?

I quickly blinked at the sound of Dawn’s voice. “It’s really dark! I can’t s-“ She paused and I could hear her gasp in shock. “May, you gotta see this!”

She hopped off and I switched places with her after handing her my microphone. I faintly made out the outlines of a male and a female. This proved my research was correct. “A rose? Thanks so much, Drewy-kins!” I gasped silently. “You’re such a sweetheart…”

“Oh, Cassie. It’s time for some action.” I could practically see him smirk as the shadow blocked my view of the girl. A moan sounded loudly in the room, and I looked away disgusted. I had heard enough.

I put my hand on the window and pushed up a little and I stuck my head in. I was setting up the camera in the room despite the darkness and the moans in the background. I looked up and they were now on the bed. I decided not to focus on them and I was about to screw another screw in place on the tripod, but the next thing I heard stopped me cold.

“I love you, Cassie.” I could hear pure lust in his voice as Cassie groaned loudly.

My mind suddenly blanked out and videos of events with Drew came flying at me through this spinning vortex.

“Haha, I beat you!”

“Well, girls would kill for a guy like me!”

“What, you don’t think I’m hot?”

“April, will you be my girlfriend?”

“June, you still have a lot of catching up to do to beat me.”

“This song is for my girlfriend, May!”

His bright green emerald eyes opened. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you…”

The last one echoed in my head and I started to feel dizzy. Did he not mean it? Is our whole relationship a lie? No, that’s a silly question. Of course it is, or I wouldn’t be here. I stared at the silhouette of the man I loved before climbing down. My vision was getting blurry and the world was twisting left and right.

“What’s the matter?” My friend looked at me with concern. “If you’re worried about security, I have them covered…”

“No, it’s not that. I don’t feel well. Maybe we should just postpone this,”

“But we are already this close! All we have to do now is to-”

“Well, I can’t do anything with a headache, right?” I smiled sadly. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Blaziken, carry me to the hotel please.” Thankfully, he obliged and didn’t question.

On the whole ride home, I had flashbacks of the good times I had with Drew. No, I can’t think about him. Ah, my head really hurts. I hope a good night’s rest will do me some good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patiently, I tapped my foot as I waited for Dawn to arrive with the new plans. I have been sitting on this park bench for an hour already! What’s tak-

All of a sudden, I see Drew and the girl he was with last night walking in the park. I quickly hid myself in a bush behind the bench, but unfortunately, they sat on the exact same bench. I quickly looked around for any escape that I could find. I saw a bush nearby and turned to climb behind it.

A voice stopped me cold. “I love you, Cassie.” I could feel a chill running up and down my spine.

“And I love you too, Drewy-bear!” I turned to stare at her face. She looked so happy. Maybe she changed. Maybe I only turned her into a monster in my mind because I was afraid of competition. Maybe I’m the monster. The more I stared at her smiling face, the more I couldn’t bare it. I quickly snuck behind the bush and ran away.

As I was running with tears streaming down my face, I couldn’t help but recall all the times I was mean to Cassie. I didn’t even give her time to respond to my insults as I walked away. Every time. Suddenly I bumped into something solid and my knees hit the ground.

“Miss? Are you okay?” I was so afraid it would be someone I knew, but when I slowly lifted my head up, I mentally sighed in relief when I saw purple eyes shimmering. I didn’t know anyone with purple eyes. Then I panicked. My eyes zoomed out and there stood a boy a little older than me holding out a hand. I gratefully took it.

“Thanks, and yes I’m okay.”

“But you’re crying.” While he was speaking, I noticed his British accent.

“No really, I’m okay!”

“Well, I’m John. Pleasure to be of service.” At this, I couldn’t help but giggle.

“MAYYYYYYY! OVER HERE!” I looked to the side and I saw Dawn with Misty waving at me like two maniacs.

“I’m sorry but I have to go.”

“But I didn’t quite catch your name.”

“Oh, my name is May. May Maple. I hope we see each other again, and thanks for the help! Sorry for bumping into you!” I quickly ran to my friends.

“Ooh, May, he’s quite the looker isn’t he?” Dawn giggled behind her hand. I couldn’t help but take another peek at him.

“Dawn, we’re here to talk about that green-haired monster! I doubt May is looking for a boyfriend at this time!”

“But you should really think about it, May. No offense, but I think Drew’s gone.”

“Dawn, DON’T SAY THAT!”

“No, Misty. It’s okay. I think… even I know that he’s gone.” Both of them looked up from fighting. “Truth is I knew he would cheat on me. It’s just not his nature to settle. He was always teasing me, and I must have interpreted wrong. I guess… it’s really me who dragged him into this relationship. It was me who instilled the thought of loving him in his brain. All this time, it was all me. I know you two disapproved of him when we first met, but I always thought that we would last longer, or some sort of miracle would happen so that he would love me. I know that will never happen, and I hope I can get the chance to tell him that I’m sorry.”

“But May, he still shouldn’t have cheated on you!” Misty screamed in annoyance.

“I guess I still have a reason to have a little fun and get revenge, but I won’t try to get him to love me anymore. I’m done.”

“May… think about what you’re doing here!” Misty eyed me full of worry.

“I’ve made up my mind. I’m sure I’ll find someone just right for me, someone who returns my feelings and will love me for me and stay faithfully by my side.” I felt my eyes start to tear up but I quickly shook it away. I promised I wouldn’t cry over him anymore.

My friends and I just stood there for a moment of silence before Dawn broke it by saying, “Let’s go. It’s starting to get dark. He’s not worth it. Let’s go back to your house so we can come up with a plan.”

For the rest of the walk home, Misty and Dawn had a conversation while I walked with my eyes locked on the ground. Drew. How I wish he could be mine. I now know it will never be possible. I vaguely remember anything that happened last night except for the plan that Dawn had for tomorrow. Hopefully after that, I can be rid of Drew forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I fixed my curls anxiously. I just wanted this whole thing to be over so I can get on with my life in peace, but Dawn insisted I do this. I open up my locket and stare at the man in it. What were his eyes saying when that picture was taken? He seems happy to me. What could have possibly went wrong? Couldn’t he just love me? No, that’s impossible. You can’t learn to love someone, can you? I can’t believe I forced him into this relationship. I could see he was trying to break free, but I refused to believe it. All the signs were screaming, but I ignored them. Well, I can’t think about this now. What’s happened happened.

I heard a car pulling into the driveway and I took this as my cue. Trying to look confident, I walked down the stairs and out the door. I peeked out, and sure enough, a familiar sleek, black and shiny car was parked right outside my house. I winked at the secret camera crew (Dawn and Misty) and they gave me thumbs up from the trees. After closing the door quietly, I walked over to my starting position carrying a box and took a deep breath.

**“To the left, to the left.”

Drew looked up from inspecting his car, so I continued while walking closer and closer until I was standing right in front of him.

“To the left, to the left.
Everything you own in a box to the left

I pushed the box into his hands forcefully. I stared into his eyes and tried to convey my message. His eyes hardened with anger and started to say something, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop now.

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you u got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So won't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

I guess that answered the retort he must have had. After all, I’ve known him for quite some years.

So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if she's home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

My eyes burned at this verse, but I refused to show weakness, staring him down. His eyes had slightly widened and his pupils were shining with guilt.

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? Nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

You can pack all your bags we're finished
'Cause you made your bed now lay in it
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable.”

For a few moments, we stood there in awkward silence, both of our eyes showing hurt, but I knew his would not last long. Not wanting to go through any more of this torture, I walked away slowly back to the door and he made no attempt to stop me. I had just broken up with him. Drew Hayden, the man that I loved once.

But they say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

**Well, as you may have noticed, I shortened the lyrics because I didn’t think all of them mattered. She actually sang all the words. I just emphasized some parts.

As it was mentioned in Chapter 1, Drew is hopelessly OOC but I just wanted to try it out because I was having writer’s block. Turns out to be a mistake since this caused even more writer’s block! I’m just going to stick to two stories total at any one time from now on.

I hope you enjoy the contrast in the chapters because of the different POV’s. Drew was… well, a guy so he didn’t worry over everything. May’s was longer since she questioned everything and actually cared to explain. I’m sorry if this is not what you expected, but my writing style has been wavering lately and I’m not that sure if it is my actual writing style. One day, I’ll have a tragic writing style, another day is humorous, and when combined into a chapter, does not turn out well. Sorry. Any advice is welcomed ^_^ Thank you for reading!

NSU (Next Story Updating. I’ll be putting one at the end of each chapter from now on so you reader have an idea.): The Reality Show