My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...

That morning I had arranged to go fishing so I went into the garage, hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out.However, the wind was blowing 50mph and there was a torrential downpour going on so I pulled back into the garage and turned on the radio - to discover that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, slipped back into bed and cuddled up to my wife's back - now with a different anticipation.I whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife replied, "Yes, and can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in it?" And that's how the fight started...

I rear-ended a car this morning. The start of a really bad day! The driver got out of the other car and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy! " So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then? " That's how the fight started…