Don't Be Her Rebound Guy

But she wasn’t through playing with your head — she cut you off again. Great! Inconsistent behavior is a very strong character trait in a woman.

Corey, you gave her everything she needed in a man, all right, except the ability to keep her Interest Level in the 90s.

Let me tell you something, my friend: Forgiveness and forgetting are twin sisters, and they travel together. If you can’t do both, then you haven’t done one.

fight your feelings

The only negative when Shania shows up at your place time and again is that she doesn’t have all the furniture in the Bekins truck ready to move back into your house. And, like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “We know you’d help her unpack, you weakling.”

Sure you have strong feelings for Shania — but you have to fight them. This is where Patience and Discipline come in. They’re two key factors in the Dating Dictionary, which you have to get and memorize ASAP. It’s easy to be tough when the girl looks like Rosie O’Donnell’s older sister, but when you have strong feelings for a clone of Mischa Barton, that’s the test of a real man.

You’re trying to extend these “best times of your life,” Corey, but they’re over. This girl was either imitating a basketball or she had high Interest Level in the beginning and you were too available, came on too heavy and weren’t a Challenge, and so all of a sudden the ex looked better. And remember: She originally left him.

don’t let her bounce back

By the way, did Shania use Bekins too when she dumped him? Heck, she must have a deal with that company with the way she’s bouncing back and forth among men. When you told her it was hard to accept her protestations of eternal devotion, I’d love to know what she said to that one!

What you have to do now is disappear. I know she’s always on your mind, but like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “Why would you want to think about the sins she’s committing with another man?” When you ask whether love triumphs over all, the fact that you’d even use that phrase shows me how little you understand about women.

Remember, guys: If they live with someone else, they don’t care for you.

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