Forward March

Working in fashion, we get really good at looking ahead to the future. We work about a season and a half ahead so that in February, we're going to fashion shows for the following fall/winter season. And then six short months later, we do it all over again for the next spring/summer season. And that's another funny thing about the fashion industry; everything is always changing. Looking ahead to the future is our job, it's a way of life. Look onward, forward march.

So if a season of shows disappoints us, we eventually shrug it off, knowing that it's not forever and that you always have next season. We know that there's something better just around the bend.

I wish we could always be that self-assured with our personal lives. When it comes to guys, there's not much I know for sure, but I do know this: An ex is an ex is an ex. It's all the same in the end. Any which way you slice it, they're better off left in the past. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that with A. until I'd gone through a few too many on-again/off-again stints with him.

So to all of your questions about why I only share good memories of him, but somehow don't want him back, here is the answer: I met him. I fell in love with him. For various reasons it didn't work out. He's a great guy. But he wasn't perfect, at least not for me.

Call me naive, but I want to hold out for the perfect-for-me man. The one that can make me laugh AND take me seriously, hang out with me like a buddy AND bring me flowers, give me space AND know when to come closer. Most importantly, I want the one who is always sure he wants to be there no matter what. Someone who is always sure, even if we're fighting. It's simple, really. A. just wasn't him. I don't know if he was ever really sure. And I think we all deserve that, don't we?

So yeah—I got nothin' but love for A. But that still doesn't make him the one I want to be with in the end.

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