Monday, April 02, 2007

Springtime Crazies

I was wondering why all the crazy things I've done were in the springtime, and why I feel so whacked out right now. Here's an article that tells me everything I could have guessed (and a few things I couldn't have).

However, this next article is pretty useless. It seems to have been written for A) Very religious people who do not discuss emotions or feelings or B) People who have gone through menopause. It's incredibly clean and uninteresting, discussing the meaning of spring, the reason for spring holidays and traditions, and really centers around instructions for becoming an optimist. What's funny is that I feel least optimistic in the spring. All this cleaning house and thinking of new projects and the future makes me rather grim. I guess I'm just not capturing that "springtime optimism" the way they're directing me.

Here's another article that completely leaves hormones and chemicals out of the picture. It gives a very weak (in my opinion) explanation for Springtime tragedies in public schools (shootings and suicides). Now I am just scanning the text right now, but i don't see any mention of a scientific reason for manic depressive behavior. Basically the gist I'm getting is, if you add up all the listed factors (tests, failing grades, graduation, changing relationships, stress of 9/11) you are bound to run into some kids who can't handle it, and will go wacko. They make no mention of chemical changes that occur in the body between winter and summer. Seems like they're leaving out a large factor, considering teenagers bodies are already wacked out as it is.

So, apparently not a lot of scientists think that the springtime imbalance is very interesting or worth studying, but I know I'm not the only one who goes through this. Here's one girl's blog, which reads pretty much word for word like one of mine about 4 years ago.

My own personal theory about my own personal angst-filled slump that I am just now experiencing is as follows: Raging hormones and springy chemical imbalances cause fitful daydreaming, and an extreme feeling of unrest. My daydreaming about the future is pessimistic whereas my daydreaming about complete and utter fantasy world scenarios is much more fun, though completely not beneficial to anything at all, and therefore comes with a lot of guilt. Guilt makes me depressed. An extreme case of ADHD makes me only fit for daydreaming, and even then sometimes I lose my train of thought. How frustrating! I can't even sit and write something creative or work on plausible ideas. I just want to go for walks, stare at things, and nap. Good thing I start work soon.