24th July 2014

With an outbreak of bubonic plague in China leading to the quarantine of 100,000 people, North Korea declaring it's ready for 'full scale nuclear war', and just about every scientist warning us we're headed for environmental disaster, we can (not so) safely say that the apocalypse is definitely coming. Whether it be by zombies, aliens, atomic war or tsunami, Tommy Shane assembles Hire Space's five perfect venues for the end of the world. Will you try to battle it out for survival, reveal your feelings to an unknowing lover, or use lions and rhinoceroses to keep safe? You decide...

Kim Jong Un finally decides to push the big red button. Atomic bombs, mutant animals, nuclear winters - the whole enchilada. The only logical response is to get deep, deep underground. Pulse and Bankside Vaults, fitting up to 1390 fellow bunker-buddies, is the only option. Easy to defend, its deep vaults will muffle the blood-curdling screams of the fools who stayed above ground.

The Roof E2 is, in the case of the apocalypse, a versatile option for the more risk-averse of aspiring survivors. High up to stay above the tsunami, it also provides a landing pad for those wishing to welcome the aliens in the naive hope of immediate mutual understanding. If these plans don't pan out, at least you'll perish with a panorama of London.

The above, however, are useless when it comes to the most likely type of apocalypse. Zombies are tenacious so-and-sos, and very troublesome to kill. Get kitted out by hiring the Imperial War Museum for one last stand, filled to the brim with a plethora of metallurgic resources, from cannons to shotgun cartridges. You could even organise a board meeting before hand to discuss defence strategies.

The more apocalypse savvy of you will of course know that, in the end, zombies have a habit of sticking around highly populated, brain-dense areas. The intelligent aspiring survivor should therefore opt for the West Midland Safari Park, which is just outside of London, spacious, and also happens to be protected by lions, rhinoceroses and alligators. Just be careful of zombie-rhinos. Eesh.

5. The Vista at Traflagar Square

This one is for those of you that know resistance is futile: the apocalypse is gon' get you. So, instead of barricading yourself behind reinforced brick, why not take the opportunity to tell someone you love them? Reveal your secret feelings at The Vista, a romantic rooftop cocktail bar where you can host an engagement party (if things go well) or simply look out upon the ruinous, zombified masses as they chomp and trounce across Trafalgar Square.

For the end of the world, there are these venues. For every other event, there's Hire Space.