Remember this moment. Someday your kids will ask you where you were when you found out that some jackass had run a beer mile—like a regular mile, but with more beer—in under 5 minutes, setting a new world record.

Eventually, we'll be able to look back and make some sense of what we're seeing here. For right now, though, all we can do is sit in stunned silence and try to imagine what a post sub-5-minute beer mile world will hold for all of us.