Archive for June, 2005

The Goals Tutorial part 2
Putting yourself in the picture. Can you edit a picture to
put yourself in the picture? This tutorial will cover the
process of putting two pictures together using PSP (Paint
Shop Pro)

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Ice Breakers
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A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was
told the loan would be granted if he could prove
satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as
collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803,
which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the
following reply (an actual letter):

“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an
Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in
which you have prepared and presented the application, we
must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final
approval can be accorded it will be necessary to clear the
title back to its origin.

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

“Your letter regarding the title in Case No 189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have title extended back
further than the 194 years covered by the present
application. I was unaware that any educated person in this
country, particularly those working in the property area,
would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the US from
France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our
application.

For the edification of uninformed bureaucrats, the title to
the land prior to US ownership was obtained from France,
which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. “The
land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery
made in 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus who
had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to
India by the then-reigning monarch Isabella. The good queen,
being a pious woman and careful about titles almost as much
as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of
the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus’
expedition.

Now the Pope, as I’m sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus
Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted,
created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to
presume that He also made that part of the world called
Louisiana. He therefore would be the owner of origin. I hope
to hell you find His original claim to be satisfactory.

Now may we have our damn loan?

They got it.

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Quotable
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SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect
for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great
friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take
immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will
hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and
touches your heart.

Do you think this idea of working in a scrapbook is a silly
thing to do?
What is it you are willing to do to extend yourself to get?
If you won’t even take the time to visulize what you want,
how in the world are you going to discipline yourself to
doing the real work behind making the pictures come true?

Every technique that is used in scrapbooking art, you will
use in digital art and creating your business on the
Internet. What better place to begin than with what you
really want out of life.

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Ice Breakers
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It was a beautiful Texas Saturday morning as Jake–an avid
hunter–woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the
season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of
coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice,
sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her: “What are you up to?”

Alice smiles: “I’m going hunting with you!”

Jake, though he had many reservations about this,
reluctantly decides to take her along. Later they arrive at
the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree
stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim
on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the
shot”.

Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice
couldn’t bag an elephant–much less a deer. Not 10 minutes
pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.

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In you goals scrapbook, you need and want to put YOU into
the picture. If you want a new car, go have your picture
taken in the car of your choice. When you take the car for a
test drive, if it is at all possible take it home. Take a
picture of it in your driveway. If your goal is a new house,
then go house hunting with your family. Find the one you
truly love and take pictures.

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Ice Breakers
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Dentist – “Try to relax. I’ll pull your aching tooth in five
minutes.” Patient – “How much will this cost?” Dentist –
“It`ll be $100.” Patient – “That much for just five minutes
work?” Dentist – “Well if you prefer, I can pull it out
very slowly.”

Scrapbooks are visual. It is probably the best way to see
and believe. It is true, when you can believe it, you can
see it. Creating your life, your future with pictures is an
incredible and inexpensive way to make your mind see and
believe.

Success!
MizC

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Ice Breakers
==============
Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies’ group bake
sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the
oven, the center had dropped flat. She said, “Oh dear,
there’s no time to bake another
cake.”

So, she looked around the house for something to build up
the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom, a
roll of toilet paper. She plunked
it in and covered it with icing. The finished product
looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.

Alice then gave her daughter some money and instructions to
be at the sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake
and bring it home. When the
daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had
already been sold.

Alice was beside herself. A couple of days later Alice was
invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were
to be played that afternoon. After the game a fancy lunch
was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was
presented for
dessert.

Alice saw the cake, she started to get off her chair to rush
into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but
before she could get to her
feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!”

Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess say,
“Thank you, I baked it myself.”

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Quotable
===========

There’s some mighty fine advice in these words, even if
you’re not
superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been sent To you for
good luck from
the Anthony Robbins organization. I will be giving you these
touts over the next several days.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get
older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or
sleep all you
want.

I’m ready to launch a new but old love, the love of
scrapbooking. You know all of this started because of
scrapbooking. The motto became, “if you can create a
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life. Well, friends with the conference room and the
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without you ever having to leave home. Watch the calendar
for events and just as soon as I have them ready there will
be completed pages made in a scrapbook, then taken to
digital media.

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Ice Breakers
==============
Cannibals A major corporation recently hired several
cannibals. “You are all part of our team now,” said the
hiring rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the
usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for
something to eat, but please don’t eat any of the other
employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working
very hard, and I’m satisfied with you. However, one of our
secretaries has disappeared.
Do any of you know what happened to her?”
The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had
left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others,
“Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?”
A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the
cannibals continued, “You fool! For four weeks we’ve been
eating Managers and no one noticed anything, but nooooo,
you had to go and eat someone they would miss!”

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==============
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Looks like I am going to be teaching a class on basic HTML
in the public room at HotConference every Tuesday beginning
the last Tuesday of June. One thing this will do is to put
a sharpened edge on HtML the easy way that is tought
during the first year online course. I am looking forward
to teaching this class. Everything that stretches us a
little beyond where we currently are only makes us better,
won’t you agree?

Success!
MizC

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Ice Breakers
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New Job After I joined my Navy husband on his tour of duty
in Japan, I looked for a job to supplement our income.
I was pleased when my first interview netted a secretarial
position at the nearby Army facility. I was sure my typing
skills had landed me the post.
But a few weeks later my boss, a full colonel, called me
into his office and told me I was too quiet. “The reason I
hired you,” he explained, “was your delightful Texas
accent. I’m homesick for someone who can talk right.”

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Resources
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