Most of my friendships just evolve, but I can point to the moment that I truly became friends with one of my sorority sisters. She was a huge football fan (still is!), and the coach of our college team had just had his 100th win. The student store had commemorative key chains for the event, and I saw it and thought, "I have to get one for Julie!" (Not her real name.)

We weren't close at that point, but the fact that I'd thought of her meant so much to her that we have been ever since. We live across the country from each other, but whenever we get together, it's like we haven't been apart.

This is pretty much all I think about lately! In the last couple of years, my husband and I moved from one State to another and then to a new country for his work and we basically now have NO friends around. The worst part is that I have a toddler and she too now has no friends :( It is SO hard making friends! I'm hoping I can find something in common with another mother but a lot of times when I go to the playground, the moms are already in groups. I feel like I'm back in high school trying to find my "clique"... :/

thanks for the link to your july post--i'm a new follower of your blog and had somehow missed that NYT article. let me just say that this awkward friend-making business is not just isolated to those 30+, but really anyone in life post-college. I'm in my mid-twenties now and as someone who isn't a huge social butterfly, its been a hard reality to realize how serendipitous college really was in being this magical pool of people in the same stage of life as you looking for companions to make memories with. you graduate, you move around the country, you grow apart from one another as you grow more into yourself and don't have a net like "college" to supplement you with new friends--and its certainly harder and harder to find people in the same stage of life as you. friend-making can be a difficult business, i'm so glad to see others talking about it and identifying with it...

I love this! I can definitely pinpoint that moment for my best friend and me. We were in high school and had both gone through bad breakups earlier in the summer. When we were at band camp in August we discovered that we both loved The X-Files. For that entire school year (my senior year, her junior year) we'd get together every week to watch The X-Files and complain about our exes. Also, we'd play a version of The X-Files drinking game, except we'd eat candy instead of drink booze. It took us until earlier this year (more than 10 years later!) to finally get together and play that drinking game with actual alcohol. I have no idea what took us so long. :-P

Such a sweet quote. And very true! That's exactly how I felt when I arrived at my University and started meeting all the students around me with so many shared interests. I'm in my senior year now and it's a bit bittersweet when I think of post-college life without seeing my friends on a daily basis, but at least I know that the friendships I've created will last a lifetime :)

alex's article was a fascinating read! you two are a magical catch for your friends, i'm sure. i found myself in his words. judging by how many times i was maid of honor at non-relative's weddings, friendship came easily in my 20s. two moves across the country & three kids later i've merely collected a few KOFs (loved that!). i'm more of a BFF type, so this is frustratingly unsatisfying for me. i fear that the fantastic group of friends that i've collected prior to this stage of life has ruined my chance of satisfaction with new gals. anyway, i love reading your blog.

Joanna, i'm just finishing up writing a post on this topic. i think this is such an important topic for men and women. thank you for posting. i'll send you my link when it's live. and i'm going to go back and re-read alex's piece from this summer.

This is a timely quote for me since I am now reflecting back on my friendships and the people in my life that I am thankful for. I actually started a series for the month of November called Thankful which profiles one special person each Friday and explores the things that they are thankful for. I hope you check it out: http://www.ourwonderlust.com/ourwonderlust/thankful-sydni.html

I saw this quote on a New York subway and included it in my speech at my best friend's wedding. I don't think anything could be truer! Happy that others find it just as special. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, everyone!

I love this quote! I'm convinced either Sheldon VanAuken talked about that idea with Lewis before he wrote A Severe Mercy (they were good friends), or that Lewis wrote it after reading Van's book, because Van and his wife began to fall in love when they had this moment. In their first real conversation, he says to her, "What, you know that too? The pain of beauty? I thought I was the only one." Sigh. One of my favorite moments in the whole book.

I highly recommend both authors, as well as A Severe Mercy, by the way. C.S. Lewis figures prominently in the book. :)

It's one of the lovely things about blogging, actually. We somehow find "our people" and realize we are not so alone in the things that inspire and delight us! Thanks for posting. Love me some C.S. Lewis.xos.

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