As I sit at the 2′ x3′ metal desk bolted to the wall Adventures in Jazz on NPR is playing Christmas jazz, Lou Ralls’ Christmas will really be Christmas time. Other than the paper I’m writing on and those papers in my folder there’s a stack of 7 magazines my celly borrowed, a paperback novel, a thinking of You card, a clock/radio, hot pot, comb, 2 cups, a spoon in mine, a roll of toilet paper, and a hair brush. Above that are two metal shelves in the wall with 4 books, soap, pencil nub, eraser, shaving razor, and a fingernail clipper on mine. which reminds me: i need to clip my nails and buy new fingernail clipper. This one’s gotten dull.

My sore throat has abated slightly, thank god. I hate the scratchy feeling after every swallow. I laid up under sheet and blanket all morning and missed lunch. I’m gonna go to supper for sure though. Then i’ll come back in and wash this tattered thermal shirt i got, and 2 t-shirts as well. then I’ll make my way downstairs and watch some dumb-box in the dayroom and drink warm water till rack time. All this is of course, what I plan for today. It could always change. If so, I hope at least not too drastically.

A year with a lifer (III). Day 168 of 365. Dec. 23,m 2011

I wonder if being (or acting) introverted (or self-possessed) is beneficial or ass- biting in the long run. Because there are many (projected) years ahead of me and I daily practice being mostly quiet. Just a minute ago I held up a sign I made with the word TOP large and bold during count time when all those in cells alone are asked whether they’re housed on the top or bottom bunk. The two femco trainees laughed as I held the sign and kept my attention on this space. “that’s whassup!” one of them said. I hope this kind of silence on my behalf doesn’t categorize me in a way that will interrupt the flow of expectations I’m currently used to.

A Year With a Lifer (III). Day 171 of 365. Dec. 26, 2011

Monday 5:00pm

Watched some Court TV today- Kevin “booss” Ross and Judge Judy. Ghetto drama and civil sophistication still battle. It’s comforting to know I’m still familiar with the world in a way.