Finally, a Source for Hyper-Bipartisan Clickbait

F rom the geographical and arguably spiritual center of the United States comes a new publication, DEFINITIVE FACTS, founded with a mission to serve Americans with “clickbait for the radical moderate.”

DEFINITIVE FACTS will take a radically bipartisan approach to news and politics, like Breitbart News does on the right and Upworthy on the left. “Centrism doesn’t have to be middling,” said Garcia-Smith.

“We figured, people are convinced by fake news because it is usually really shouty,” he added. “We want to shout out the facts in as loud and obnoxious a way as possible. Please like the ‘DE FACTO’ page on Facebook and share our stories if, after reading all the way to the end, you think they deserve a wider audience.”

For a taste of the bracingly bipartisan fare that DEFINITIVE FACTS has in store, these are a dozen headlines of stories to be published at launch, scheduled for noon on the ides of December.

CHINA makes stuff and so does THE UNITED STATES and they SELL that stuff to each other