Promotion and anxiety to perform

Hello to the forum, I need some advice about my job, it is already causing me a great deal of anxiety,

A little over a month ago I started a new job as a supervisor at an independently owned clothes shop, and I love it. Due to the manager and other supervisor leaving I have been offered a promotion to manager than I never had in 10 years working for my previous workplace.

I am very excited by the prospect of being the new manager but I am also overwhelmed by what will be expected of me and how much I need to learn and remember.

I sometimes struggle to assert myself in life so I think at work I often run the risk of going the complete opposite way and coming across as a bit of a dragon when it comes to people management. For all my faults I work incredibly hard and expect the same of my colleagues.

My regional manager is seen as a bit of a battleaxe, and she is intimidating, but for the most part I see her as someone who just wants to get stuff done- I do not want my staff to see me the way they see her, but I don't want them to see me as a "mate" and take advantage.

It all seems like a minefield at the moment, and as someone who over thinks and second guesses everything, I am really starting to question my competency.

Don't take a promotion if you are not capable of performing the job. You already posted about having issues with the younger employees, how they see you, etc. You might enjoy the short term gains of a bit more money, but inevitably you will be miserable.

IMO the idea you want to balance between not being the "battle axe" or a "mate" is a good indicator you don't yet have any understanding of leadership, i.e. you have never learned to lead. Trying to learn to lead "on the job" will just add to the anxiety.

I would recommend telling the employer you don't think you are yet ready, that you have other issues in life you are working on, but that in the future you would like to manage. Then when there is a new manager, see if they are willing to be a role model and mentor, helping you to learn leadership skills you will need to be a manager when the time is right.

Everybody has the first time to be in some position and to do something; for instance, you first came to the world as a baby, had a first word, first step, had a first day of school... got a first job, got a first promotion... be came a supervisor or manager the first time, etc.

When your higher up promoted you, s/he must have seen that you are good and capable in some ways. You just have to be smarter, to work harder and have confidence to prove that you can do it.

Everyday you can do the followings: Get up, be calm, have deep breaths, meditate, write Things To Do list. At work, be friendly enough but be more professional, be fair, be firm, be proacctive, not reactive, make balance of talking and listening. When you are a supervisor/manager, you need to talk, to tell your subordinates what to do, but you need to listen to their problems and help them to solve the problems also. Don't take side. Prepare ideas for meetings. Make goals. And there are a lot more. This link may be helpful: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-an-Effective-Supervisor

Look up Google for more links to help.

Everything starts with difficulties. When you think you can do it, you can do it. After a few months, you will be experienced, things will be easier.