Laughter is the purest meditation. When we encounter any problem, laugh first and the problem will go away. – SMCH

1. Leftovers

Once a lady said to her waiter in a restaurant, “Would you bring a bag for me so that I can carry home the leftover food for my dog?” And then her six year old son said, “Oh, mommy, are we going to get a dog?”

2. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,

and Panic is when both are pregnant.

I Understand

Inside the operating room, the patient was very nervous. He said to the doctor, “Doc., I’m so scared. It’s my first operation.” The doctor said, “Yes, yes, I understand exactly how you feel because it’s my first, too.”

Fire in My Kitchen

There was a person whose house was on fire. He was very, very panicked and urgently called the fire department, “Emergency, emergency, please, quickly, there’s a fire, there’s a fire! Come quickly and put out the fire!” Then the fire department chief asked him, “But where’s the fire? Where did the fire break out?” “It’s in my house,” he said, “very urgent! It’s in my house! Come quick!” “Yes, I know it’s in your house. But where?” He said, “It’s in my kitchen!” The fire department chief lost patience and said, “Listen, I know that! But how do I get to your house? Do you understand me? How do I get to your house?” And the man said, “Don’t you have cars?”

5.

There was a person who was a very, very, you know, kind of very terrible person, she used to lend money to everyone. She counted every penny.

And then one day, she was sick, and all the doctors already shook their heads, saying “There ‘s nothing we can do about it.” So she knew her time was up. So she called about fifty of her debtors to come next to her death bed, and then told a servant to bring all the papers, the IOU papers, in front of them and burned them all in front of them. And then one of the debtors was feeling very, kind of emotional and said, “Oh, madam, we have not paid you yet, how come you burned all the papers, the IOU papers.” And the madam, nearly dying, suddenly woke up, and looking them in the eyes, she said, “If I don’t burn all these, when I go down there (the underworld), how can I have any proof to get the money back from all of you?”