Tuesday, January 04, 2011

I'm riffing on a conversation from Facebook (sorry Matt & Erik!) here but since Mo'Nique will announce the Oscar nominees on January 25th with AMPAS president Tom Sherak, can she please do it in character as Mary Jones!!?!

Frankly, no matter which wonderful film or actor gets a terribly unjust snub that morning (and I know a handful who are in danger), it'd still be the greatest Oscar morning of all time if Mo'Nique will rip down one of those 5 screens that hang behind the podium as soon as she's displeased with one of the names uttered.

I know you know the set I'm talking about...

the general setup each year.

Just rip down one of them screens, Mo'Nique!

Hurl it at the sea of reporters, caught off guard. You'll be all anyone talks about that Tuesday even though you didn't even have a movie this year.

This is my new favorite Oscar nomination morning fantasy of all time! If you share this fantasy, pass it on. We can will it into happening. Hear us oh great Mo'Nique!*

Well, of course, they won't let her do that. Jerry Seinfeld had to present an Oscar because Sacha Baron Cohen wasn't allowed to do one in character as Borat. (If they won't let an in character nom read from Borat, they won't allow it from anybody.)

Funny I just did a rewatch of 'Precious' last night! It was just as chilling the 2nd time. I watched it with my mom and she had to look away (and some times leave the room) at a few seens (then I rewind and make her watch them) lol. A few people told me they will never watch it again because it's to much. I'm excited for her to announce the Oscars. She can really command attention and it will make them a little more special, I wish she could be there on Oscar night, though. Always nice to see past nominees and winners invited back even if they don't have movies out. :)

Just as long as I don't have to hear her talk about her husband saying, "baby, don't judge it, just be it, and leave it on the floor," like I did every time I saw her in 2010. She became such an annoying woman.

Her speeches were so humorless! It was like someone died each time she won an award. She even managed to suck every ounce of levity out of a minute and thirty seconds of the Golden Globes. "IT'S ABOUT THE WORK, NOT THE POLITICS. LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR. LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR!"

I hope she takes this opportunity to make a political statement about the lack of black nominees and start mentioning the cast of For Colored Girls should’ve been here – just for the shits and giggles factor that will occur online.

Oh, calm down, Hayden. She was a lovely presence on the circuit, the essence of grace and charisma. Who cares if she wasn't yukking it up like Sandra Bullock? It's two different approaches to awards season and both are completely legitimate.

That was one criticism of Mo'Nique that I never got for her Oscar run, that she should "lighten up" in her speeches and play the game properly (re: whore herself out to every awards show, critics group, gossip rag, nightly entertainment show, etc., for an award that she was always going to win barring murdering someone). Maybe the expectation for her being a stand-up comedian was that every speech had to include some chuckin' and jivin' and funny soundbites time after time. What I got from her vibe was the impression that this was a serious performance that she took very seriously. There's nothing wrong with that. She wasn't going to yuck it up in speech after speech for playing such a vile character. Do that if you're promoting a light comedy, not f'in' "Precious." Maybe she could have given us a few laughs here and there, b/c she surely can do that and then some, but no one was expecting Jeff Bridges to yuck it up on stage after all of his wins, or any of them for that matter. Mo'Nique is no exception. And rant aside, yay for the announcing gig. I think she's making amends to the haters and showing that she's willing to play "nice," and that she probably won't be there at the Oscars, so here's the next best thing.

This move with Mo'Nique was probably a preemptive strike at the upcoming criticism that there's going to be 20 white acting nominees this year. Look, we're not racists! See this black lady and last year's winner announcing the nominees? Is that enough proof for you that we're not really racists? God, Tom Sherak is such a sleazeball.

As soon as Marisa Tomei was announced as a presenter for this year's Oscars (in the same release that said Bullock & Bridges would be there as well), I figured that she would be taking Mo'Nique's past-Supp. Actress-winner-spot on the show...

this news makes me happy because with all the names she'll have to say, it'll actually give her more airtime than presenting at the Oscars would...

And yes, get her to host!!!!! (It's not too late to dump Hathaway and go "P.C." with Mo'-- I don't care what the initial excuse is, just get the woman to host and let her show everyone how it's done!)