John Travolta and Kelly Preston are in Greece

John Travolta and Kelly Preston are in Greece

Did you know that John Travolta is a strapping, virile ladykiller? Totally. He’s totally on that poonani twenty-four hours a day because he is a not-gay and hahahaha what male masseurs! Those were just silly, unfounded rumors. Anyway John is so straight and lady-loving that he’s taking his wife to the Greek island Mykonos, which everyone knows is the straightest island in the Mediterranean, so that they can have hot straight sexy times with each other. No homo. RadarOnline reports:

he 58-year-old Grease star and his 49-year-old wife are enjoying some much needed R & R on the stunning Greek island of Mykonos, which is famous for its vibrant bar and nightclub scene and nude beaches! Fortunately, the Hollywood couple was fully clothed when they walked hand-in-hand down the paved streets of the vacation spot that is known as the “gay capital of the Mediterranean,” before stopping in at a local cafe for lunch.

What? Gay capital of the Mediterranean? Ha ha! They must mean Gay HAPPIEST capital of the Mediterranean! Not gay as in “the sensual passion that comes with having another man rub your sore muscles, his strong hands caressing every contour of your body, the scent of his arousal wafting in the air as beads of sweat glisten in your chest hair, your eyes meeting – wait … could it be? Yes, yearning, fiery yearning! You don’t know what this is, but all you know is that it feels so very very right!” More like gay in the happy sense! Haha! He’s straight.