Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Queefing

Queef. A fanny fart. An odourless escaping of gas from your
cunt.

Bubbles of lemonade flavoured laughter gurgled inside Mary's
chest. It was rude to laugh at fanny farts, and in her stifled reflection, she
pondered if it was more rude to laugh at queefs with a new partner or an old
one. With an old one there was a certain level of relaxation, where it was ok
to accept what was a normal side effect of vigorous sex. Nostrils flaring,
stomach tightening, no longer was there any thought of her clitoris or
impending orgasm. She buried her head in his neck in an attempt to hide her
amusement at the current state of affairs.

Jamie carried on his activities, oblivious of the impending
explosion of hilarity. He carried on shoving; bumping and grinding his hips,
lost in his moment but not hers. His thrusting was reminiscent to shelf
stacking in budget super markets. 'Pile them high and sell them cheap'. Heaving
and thrusting more and more external atmosphere into the soft vacuum of her sex,
you could get no more air into it. It was going to detonate.

A small bugling sound emerged at first. This was accompanied
by a stifled whimper of a giggle and mortification. Embarrassment spread over
her face, all warm and red like a freshly spanked bottom. Jamie, paid no attention
to it. Determinedly he carried on making great strides towards his orgasm, he
was going to reach it regardless of distractions such a strange noises or a
giggling woman.

A rasp. A long and protracted note of the escaping queef. It
went on for an aeon. If it were to happen in a public place it would be the
type of fart that you would be proud of. It had resonance and depth. It had
personality to it. It had gravitas.

Unable to keep her laughter prisoner behind the ivory bars
of her teeth Mary set it free. Relishing its' new found freedom, her laugh
resounded and bounced around the bedroom. Jamie gave her a look of disgust as
his moment was broken, meanwhile Mary slapped her hands over her eyes as her
moment was released.