October 5th, 2011

Astronaut Jobs Still Belong to Nerds, NASA gets Janitorial Sector’s Hopes UpThe National Aeronautic and Space Administration would have you believe they’ve pulled a Dick Vermeil in their search for the next class of space explorers. Imagine my dismay after reading the headline, “NASA Launches Recruiting Drive for Astronauts,” only to find out they still want scientists, engineers, and pilots—boring. Way to think outside of the proverbial space capsule, government. Visit MyFoxNews for more on this story.

Mocked With Your Mock-UpThanks, Kennedy Space Center. In a way, this false ship is better than the real thing in that folks will be able to explore more of it than its real counterparts. But, in case you’re wondering, giving us this cactus, while pretty, still pricks the fingers. The same goes for the rest a’ ya – California, New York, and Virginia. Houston’s an elephant. Got it? Visit ABC13 for more on this story.

If You’d Been Playing for the Diablos, You’d be “Safe”Paul Wall was busted for drugs in a “Drug Free” zone. That’s old news. His mistake—wandering out of the “Free Drug” zones they have there. Houston Astro, Jordan Shafer was caught well outside of any “DF” zone in Tampa. How’s about playing for the Diablos? They’ve got a 31-63 record. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Power Play, Government Noise Regulations as Auditory Martial LawCertain standards may go into effect soon. Such limitations will limit the usage of my bass cannons and farm combines. FUU… Between the hours of 10PM and 7AM or “prime time,” you and I will have to forfeit certain unalienable rights. It’s insensitive. Visit KHOU for more on this story.

Big Brew Just Got BiggerSaint Arnold, No Label, Karbach, and Southern Star, carry on. It seems to be working. As Houston enjoys fruits of your labor, AB’s worries grow. Granted, it’s more of a “when was the last time pest control came” type of worry, but you’re an annoyance none the less. They can defeat laws at the state level and invest in their Houston distribution center—you just continue providing damn good beer. Visit MyFoxHouston for more on this story.