unemployment

So this is it – the life of a graduate. I am officially unemployed. I have to say, as an avid reader of the Daily Mail, I have been somewhat disappointed. I thought the council would have got in touch about my free mansion by now, but alas, no such luck. Perhaps an asylum seeker took it or the EU gave it cancer. C’est la vie.

I’ve been drudging through job sites, of course, but am finding plenty ways to procrastinate along the way. One of them is Tinder. Tinder is a dating app and it’s awful. I downloaded it partly out of boredom, partly out of crushing loneliness. The app syncs to your Facebook profile and supposedly finds potential partners with similar interests. Sounds like a good idea right? It is just that. A good idea. Yesterday it asked me if I’d like to travel 47 miles to meet with someone with whom I shared just one interest: Marmite.

When not dreaming of a marriage built on yeast extract, I seem to be going through something resembling a belated adolescence. Everything and everyone makes me exceptionally angry. Bad TV. People playing music loudly on buses. George Osborne. In the most pretentious way imaginable, I feel like I am very much in the process of ‘defining myself’ and care far too much about what others think. I’ve become vegetarian and bought some new shoes. I’m even thinking about getting a haircut. In short, I have far too much time on my hands.

But in spite of my gripes, I go to bed each night hugely excited about what the next day has in store. Perhaps I’ll get a bank statement in the post. Or maybe I’ll spot an oddly shaped cloud. Whatever happens, I’m ready to embrace the moment and ride the rollercoaster of life.

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