Captain Manchester - The North's new Nemesis

02/10/2013

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Written by Cyrus Bozorgmehr

Move over Superman. Jog on Batman. Sling your hook Spiderman. The new kid on the superhero block is prowling the streets and he’s taking no prisoners. Ladies and Gentlemen – we give you Captain Manchester.

Possibly in a crafty bid to avoid George Osborne’s new forced welfare reforms, one man knew exactly what to do when he found himself unemployed. There was only one thing for it – fighting crime.

OK well perhaps not actually fighting crime. But every budding scourge of the underworld has to start somewhere and picking up litter is not to be trifled with.

Captain Manchester said: "I got made redundant a little while ago and it started as something to do to fill the time while I look for a new job. I’ve got a bit of free time at the minute, so I have no problem helping out in the community or picking up a bit of litter and keeping the streets a bit cleaner."

"I’ve always been a fan of comics and I thought it would be a nice idea to help a few people out while I have time on my hands."

Clad in a garish shellsuit, a cape and a deeply suspect mask, the Captain admits that his wardrobe possibilities were limited "It's made out of what I had available in my house. I’m not the greatest at costume design.

With his identity a closely guarded secret – apparently the Captain feels his girlfriend may be underwhelmed by his double life – our caped crusader has printed up business cards with the Captain Manchester hotline on them.

What with the Chancellor pushing through measures to compel community service on the long term unemployed, Captain Manchester has taken the baton and run with it. Iain Duncan Smith was unavailable for comment, though one suspects he may need a sense of humour surgically grafted on to him to appreciate the full majesty of Manchester’s new protector.

But you have to hand it to the Captain – he is genuinely injecting a community spirit and a sense of humour into the world around him. He said "People’s reactions vary. Some laugh, some look confused, but I’ve received a lot of tweets telling me they’ve done good deeds because of me. It’s nice to see people being nice to each other."

"My message to anyone inspired by Captain Manchester is — help someone out today.