Phillies' Lenny 'Nails' Dykstra Nailed For craigslist Encounters

By
William Peacock, Esq. on April 19, 2012 3:03 PM

Is Lenny Dykstra the new, less attractive Lindsay Loan? Shortly after resolving his legal issues for grand theft auto, drug possession, and bankruptcy fraud, Dykstra has put an end to his legal troubles for exposing himself and assaulting a woman with a deadly weapon. Today, he pled no contest to one charge of lewd conduct and one charge of assault with a deadly weapon, reports the Los Angeles Times.

His latest misstep started with a craigslist advertisement. According to the Times, Dykstra would post an ad under a pseudonym, seeking a housekeeper. When the women arrived, he told them that they would have to give him a massage. He then exposed himself to the women. One of the women refused to participate, so he took a knife and forced her to give him a massage.

He will be serving nine months in jail, three years probation, and in what might amount to cruel and unusual punishment, he is also barred from using social networking sites and craigslist.

Assault with a deadly weapon, depending on whether it is charged as a misdemeanor or felony, can carry either up to one year in jail, or up to four years in prison. The prosecutor's choice is often shaped by the circumstances of the case and severity of injury to the victim. Dykstra threatened the woman with a knife but there have been no reports of him inflicting any injuries.

His deal for nine months for both the lewd conduct and assault charges combined seems like a sweetheart deal. However, he'll likely be facing immense amounts of time for his other recent crimes, so that probably factored into the equation as well.

The rapid succession of his criminal offenses is almost Linsday Lohan-esque, except she looks like a minor league player in comparison. Her offenses were all minor, including shoplifting, DUIs, and drug possession. Lenny 'Nails' Dykstra has allegedly committed bankruptcy fraud, grand theft auto through the use of others' identities, and now lewd conduct and assault with a deadly weapon. His accumulated stats are far more impressive than hers will ever be -- unless she wins an Oscar.

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