The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 6/2/14: Nope.

– I’m supposed to use this section for pre-show notes, but (spoiler alert) The Shield broke up last night and I don’t know how to do this anymore. Next week the column will be replaced by the Best and Worst of Sailor Moon, wherein I watch those sub episodes of Sailor Moon they’re putting on Hulu and tell you what I liked about them. That can never hurt me. THINGS WORK OUT FINE FOR THE SAILOR SENSHI PROBABLY. STOP HURTING ME, POPULAR CULTURE.

– After this I’m gonna go watch Game of Thrones from Sunday. I’m rooting for the Red Viper!

@Brandon I’ve never even seen half of Super S because of how awful she is. I’m going to force myself to sit through it on this re-watch.

Best: The outfits all the Gym Bros are wearing in the episode where Jadeite opens a gym (where is he getting all this money to open all these businesses anyway?)
Worst: I can’t even think of anything because remembering Chibi Usa exists makes me mad

Guys. Guys. I actually really like Chibi Usa. She can get annoying in the anime (and I’ll be honest – my last complete viewing of all 5 seasons was like 8 years ago, I mostly just watch Stars, so she might be more annoying to me now that I’m older) but in the manga especially it’s really clear that she’s kind of had it rough and never had a proper childhood. She’s going through some shit, ok? In the manga it was made explicit that she’s 900 years old but stopped aging when she was 5. That sounds pretty awful.

best: Sailor Moon, though all the Sailor Soldiers are great in their own unique way.
worst: so many filler episodes. Also I’ve seen everyone’s transformation/attacks/whatever roughly 1 million times over the course of my life, so I hope the reboot cuts down on the recycled stuff.

@spacemonkeymafia I’m gonna need some links. Do you mean a fan comic? I’ve never heard of this and I google “sailor moon news” roughly once a day. Why not set up a google news alert, you say? Because it’s mostly cosplay and I don’t have time for that!

Papermint fun fact: I once broke my family’s shitty computer by filling it to the BRIM with Sailor Moon Jpgs. JPGS I SAY.

@papermint I’ve never actually read the full manga. I haaaatae anime Chibi Usa so much; maybe just reading her instead of having to hear her would help. (On that note, I forgot how much early Usagi annoys me too. I just have to remember that she gets better, and she’s Mitsuishi Kotono and Juri is queen of my heart forever.)

My bedroom walls in middle school were plastered with Sailor Moon pictures I printed out. I feel bad for how much my parents must have had to spend on printer ink.

I loved the Rollins turn. So unexpected but so great. My thinking is that he was thinking Triple H, after being beaten by the Shield would always block them ascending in the WWE. So he saw the writing on the wall (Architect don’t you know) and sold out to get a shortcut and power.

My secret (not so secret any more) dream is that down the line it becomes revealed that Luke Harper was the mastermind of the Wyatt Family all along, purposely playing the role of the lackey. He even found himself a well spoken, yet gullible and easily manipulated man by the name of Husky Harris whom he brainwashed so thoroughly that even Husky Harris believes that he;s Bray Wyatt and the leader of the Wyatt family. This way, anyone trying to stop the Wyatts is always aiming at the wrong target while Luke controls everything from the shadows.

Please don’t shoot me for this, but during Cena’s rambling he actually made one decent point: Daniel Bryan knows if he gives up the titles he won’t get another shot at them because of the authority and their track record.

Somehow, that actually made sense and made up a bit for the way DB has been acting the past few weeks. Granted, that point and that whole segment would have been better in backstage fallout or even a quick backstage segment. The main idea here is that there was some semblance of a silver lining in the dark cloud that is John Cena pandering to everyone.

To NDtex’s point, that actually works in Cena’s favour. Because Cena’s the only established baby face that seems to have the respect of the authority, he can came out and make that point without fearing the same level of retribution as someone who’s lower on the totem pole. He’s exhibiting “face” behavior by sticking up for someone who can’t defend themselves even though it might come at some personal cost to him.

What Cena established is that there actually is a “pecking order” in terms of treatment. Bryan isn’t being asked to give up the belts because of some genuine and evenly applied rule, he’s being asked to give up the belts because the Authority (including Stephanie) don’t like Daniel Bryan.

Daniel Bryan’s know been established as resisting the antagonists who want him to quit trying to succeed as a wrestler and simply quit on his dream. No matter how Stroud spins it here, that’s been pretty standard behaviour for a wrestling “face” for pretty much forever.

Honestly, I think I just John Cena decisively make better points than Stephanie. Brandon’s been beating the “Stephanie is being reasonable, Bryan is being a jerk” drum for a while now. Cena may have just decisively established what’s wrong with the drum beat.

Take a close look at the article. Cena’s the one that actually engages with most of the points Brandon’s been making. Brandon’s response, as well written and argued as it is, essentially boils down to “Employees shouldn’t stand up to their boss even when their boss is treating another employee unfairly.” I don’t think that’s a point most people will get behind.

C&P’d From last weeks smackdown B&W, as it was my first ever post, and everyone had already left the room, but still relevant for this week.

I love what they are doing with Alicia, win or lose she gets to REACT….you know how rare that is anymore for almost any *cough* SUPERSTAR. The only problem is that angry one from a couple weeks back, was so “real” I would have bought stock in it. The emotion was *cough” raw and totally believable, the but the “celebration” ones…not so much….yet still finally something to help move the Diva’s division along. I mean, c’mon…up until Alicia was allowed to do this, I was starting to miss “LayCool”….and you should NEVER, NEVER, NEVER miss “LayCool”! Alicia has done good for herself…not bad for a shy retiring wedding planner for a Vickie and Edge wedding (if you didn’t just shudder, something is wrong) That decided Edge was worth pissing off the boss-ette over. Of course that got poor Adam in a Hell In A Cell with’Taker, but what the hey…..lol

C&P’d From last weeks smackdown B&W, as it was my first ever post, and everyone had already left the room, but still relevant for this week.

I love what they are doing with Alicia, win or lose she gets to REACT….you know how rare that is anymore for almost any *cough* SUPERSTAR. The only problem is that angry one from a couple weeks back, was so “real” I would have bought stock in it. The emotion was *cough” raw and totally believable, the but the “celebration” ones…not so much….yet still finally something to help move the Diva’s division along. I mean, c’mon…up until Alicia was allowed to do this, I was starting to miss “LayCool”….and you should NEVER, NEVER, NEVER miss “LayCool”! Alicia has done good for herself…not bad for a shy retiring wedding planner for a Vickie and Edge wedding (if you didn’t just shudder, something is wrong) That decided Edge was worth pissing off the boss-ette over. Of course that got poor Adam in a Hell In A Cell with’Taker, but what the hey…..lol

Im actually kind of hoping that for Summer Slam that Big Dave comes back to help The Shield beat Setholution and gets the cheers he is looking for in doing so. Also he needs to find a sense of humor and just roll with the stupid nicknames, like whatever was trending the week before, have Roberts announce him that way. Yes, they are stupid, but wrestling is way less serious than when you left last time. Roll with the punches, save the day, be cheered the returning hero you want to be!

Maybe they keep on calling it the Payback Pay-per-view because internet writers keep on saying “pay-per…I mean “special event” and other variations of same when they’re clearly still pay-per-views, sold on an individual viewing basis through content providers?

I like the idea of splitting Rollins from The Shield to give his character more attention, I just can’t think of a reason why Rollins would leave the super-dominant Shield for Evolution, which has looked pretty lame recently.

how about presenting him the title in place of bryan? huh? sounds nice, doesn’t it?! means some (potentially great) Rollins/Cena in the near future (but with Rollins being guaranteed to win even if by means that’d make him look weak) until bryan comes back for an epic match up!

I’m just sad we didn’t get any Rollins/Cesaro or Rollins/Harper during the short period since the shield became faces…

Honestly though, what was Seth’s “character”? He’s fabulous in the ring but I get Reigns (“quiet destroyer”, “enforcer”) and Ambrose (member of “lunatic fringe”). I think they just went with “Architect” because “Other Guy in Shield” isn’t very catchy and they needed something to hang their hat on.

The reason he makes sense as the one to turn is because he’s the one guy who hasn’t developed much of a character. You’re not risking anything by erasing a blank slate.

Fair interpretation. But even if that interpretation is 100% correct, I kind of think balanced and level-headed is the worst possible character trait if I’m trying to create conflict and tell an interesting story. Remove the person stopping the conflict and have Reigns and Ambrose be forced to sort it out.

Let’s talk for a second about Big Dave’s current run, because it was awesome. His first two months were this awesome study in crowd reactions, and then from WrestleMania on he was in some of the best matches of the year, while also providing us with hilarious character studies and crowd reactions. I know everyone (including myself) loves “hugging fat girls” Dave, but this, this has been his best run.

Yeah, that point of Cena’s would have made more sense before this RAW, before Stephanie made the most fair possible stipulation for the belt for Bryan’s sake. I mean, if Bryan isn’t able to compete at MITB, he should be stripped and the belt fought over, yes? Cena’s being all Captain Hindsight about this.

The most “fair stipulation possible” probably doesn’t involve placing a wrestler who might just recently be healed in a very dangerous match designed to make him relieve the way he was actually seriously injured.

In kayfabe, it sure seems like Stephanie set up Bryan’s injury by unleashing Kane on him and is now using that same injury to strip him of the title she didn’t want him to have in the first place.

I agree that Kane and Stephanie’s ordering him is the silent kayfabe reason Bryan was injured and might have to forfeit the championship, but no one has actually said it on screen. Not even Cole has really mentioned “Hey, I think Stephanie specifically ordered Kane to injure Daniel Bryan so he’d be forced to relinquish the titles”. As such, it’s good fanon when it should be straight canon.

As for fair stipulation, it seems like it to me. If Bryan’s too injured to work any match type, he shouldn’t be champion. There’s no reason Stephanie should treat a healthy, competing champion with kids gloves. John Cena isn’t champion and he just recently performed in a cage match and a last man standing match, and often performed in such dangerous match types as champion (for example, just last year in his feud with Ryback). She’s not forcing him to give up his titles anymore, she’s making him put up or shut up. He is being given nearly another month to heal. If he can’t compete, the title isn’t being given to anybody, it’s being put up for grabs in a tough match with many hungry, healthy, competitive wrestlers. This is the most fair a wrestling boss could possibly be.

Honestly, if I have any problem with Stephanie, it’s that she’s too fair to Bryan now. Before Payback sure, I was definitely on Bryan’s side, regardless of how weak his arguments sounded. Now, I feel Stephanie is too lenient, she should be more like Vince where he was totally despicble, instead she’s coming across like John Laurinaitis, where we should boo her because we like the champ, no matter how much sense their mean boss is making.

I’ve never got this argument. Mr. “People Power” attempted to cost Punk the title in Chicago. It was also mentioned in kayfabe that he held Punk and a bunch of others back for years. Punk was supposed to take his word at face value or he somehow wasn’t treating him fairly?

You missed the other major foreshadowing moment in the show – right around 10 as they were really hyping Orton/Reigns as the main event, I started to think to myself – “somebody in the back has to know this match will likely be dogshit, right? Both of these guys need somebody smaller and quicker than they are to look really great and neither of them…WAIT A MINUTE…”

Then the Shield came out and spent 5 minutes thumping their chests about how they functioned as a unit and all of their “togetherness”. And that’s when I knew we were DOOMED.

I’m catching up with 2013 WWE, and they literally pulled the exact same thing in a tag match with Wade Barrett — Fandango walks out on him (well, dances) in a match against Chris Jericho and The Miz. Poor Barrett. No wonder he’s so obsessed with bad news now.

I know a lot of people were clamoring for an Ambrose heel run, but I’m actually loving him as a good guy. There’s something childlike and innocent in his wily, unpredictable nature that’s pretty damn endearing. He’s also super into the brotherhood of The Shield, and that’s maaad infectious.

But holy shit did I not enjoy Seth turning on them. But I didn’t enjoy it in the way that heel turns are meant to be “not enjoyed.” It makes total sense; he’s never really seemed sincere about what he said while they were faces (which is probably due to him speaking like a create-a-fed character, but it works in his favor now that we know how TRULY EVIL HE IS), and he’s always had a problem dealing with a manic malcontent and a Lothario who fought like loving brothers only do. Like he was embarrassed of them more than he was proud. That’s damn good storytelling.

Plus, I can see Rollins doing a run at the title. He’s pretty versatile and I’m down to see how his newfound villainousness is worked into his high-flying, self-destructive nature.

Now, on the Rhodes Brothers front: I hope Goldust is the one to reveal himself as the heel. Not just because he’s a great villain, and I miss him quoting old Hollywood movies and playing his subversive mind-games, but also because he could be totally pissed off that Cody is forcing him to team up with total goobers and people he just doesn’t have chemistry with. It could culminate with Goldust, after having teamed with the worst of the worst, being all, “Cody, come on man, just join in me in this match and I promise good things will happen!” And then the good thing that happens is Goldust beating the total shit out of Cody and then rubbing himself all over in celebration. And why? Because why the fuck are you going to play Goldust like that, teaming him up with jerks…

Seth Rollins has always been my pick for defector because he’s the guy we can count on to have spectacular matches with Daniel Bryan, etc.

Dean and Roman need each other- Roman, because he’s still relatively green and not ready for a singles spotlight, and Dean because he just works so well when contrasted against a straight-man character.

The only thing that could make it better is if Dean & Roman hold tryouts, with hilarious results.

I put forward my fantasy idea of a Cody/Goldust angle for the last 2 days in both the Payback comments and the live discussion threads so I’m afraid I’m starting to sound desperate for attention but screw it I’ll make it quick: Goldust sees Cody’s crisis of confidence and decides that what his brother needs is a great enemy, an Arch-Nemesis, to spur him on and force him to rise to the challenge. So he becomes that, ruthlessly terrorizes Cody, pushes him to the brink and when Cody finally defeats him in a spectacular final match confesses what he was doing in an emotional promo and then walks away, leaving Cody shaken but looking like a million bucks in the eyes of the world. To me Goldie’s last hurrah in his current run being a perversely twisted act of fraternal affection makes sense. And if anyone has seen me post this before and is starting to get sick of me pounding away it, I promise this is the last time. I think I’m just trying to refine the idea down to it’s platonic ideal.

I’d LOVE to see a series of tryouts vignettes. I’m afraid they’re going to stick some rando into the group and pretend like this can move forward, so anything that’s enjoyable and fleshes out their characters would be awesome. Plus, it wouldn’t sacrifice had badass and fearsome they can be, because they already have great comedic chemistry. The faux press conference after Payback Pay-Per-View Paid Per Payment Permission supports this.

Your concept is headier and definitely way more nuanced and artful than my Goldust heel idea, CHG, so I’ll gladly move away from mine and sign onto yours! Plus the feels from the inevitable hug after the big moment when Cody finally wins… damn that would be perfect.

The whole Architect thing is the only way I can make sense of Rollins turning in kayfabe too. Like, he started off genuinely just wanting to see his friends not fight each other.He was the kid Roman and Dean were fighting over at the custody hearing, remember?

But as time went on and people started going on about how he was the true leader and the most underrated and the smartest, he started getting a sick fix off of keeping these insane egotistical beasts in line. He even started creating conflicts just so he could resolve them, like the second Shield/Wyatt match were he walked out on them.

Then Reigns and Ambrose had to fuck it all up by getting back on the same page. Suddenly Rollins didn’t have a role anymore. A control freak with nothing to control. Sure, he can do jumps and flips and make the crowd pop for that, but how far would that take him? The token high flyer role in a stable of stronger, more charismatic guys? Fuck that. He’s the Architect. And you should never assume an architect is opposed to destroying his own creation if he deems it no longer good enough.

So who do you go to when you want to feel like you have control again? The boss. A man who will happily lose every single battle as long as he can win the war. A man who, as long as he remains your enemy, will always have you under his thumb. This way, Seth is out from under Trips’ thumb and into his hands.

I like your take on this Shield program. But it made me think of an alternative. What if…and this is a massive if…The Shield are faking the break-up so that Rollins can infiltrate Evolutio and destroy it for good? I know that’s probably miles and miles beyond anything WWE Creative can come up with…but it would be a novel storyline that they haven’t already done a thousand times.

Well, yes and no, Lulzovich. I mean, Bryan didn’t infiltrate the Wyatts so much as he was convinced to join and later decided he didn’t like being a family member. Also, they really seem to abort the story line a bit (or a lot) early. And Bryan didn’t destroy the Wyatt Family, he just sorta beat up Bray and moved on.

I really hope Trips knows what he is doing. They just ended one of the hottest acts in WWE history.

But I’m guessing the first guy to get the big push out of the Shield is Rollins.

If they try to add another member to The Shield, then this officially sucks, and I remove my cautious support for what Trips is doing. The Shield is Ambrose, Rollins, and Reigns. it can’t be anyone else.

Next week, Seth explains how he jumped ship because he knows that if he tried to have a singles career as HHH’s enemy he’d have to go through the same shit as Daniel Bryan, and he ain’t having none of that. Later, Dean and Roman are looking at their options and realize that they can’t fight a trio as a duo. But after the man they trusted the most besides each other betrayed them, who do they go to? Dean has an idea… he has a long time friend down at NXT who could fit right in. Enter Solomon Crowe.

I don’t get the appeal of Alicia Fox. Her in-ring screams “I’m pretending!” at Mike the Miz decibels, and her post-match antics are neither interesting nor do they advance any storyline.

I suppose its marginally better than feuds over drawing homely portraits, but slicing the Divas’ 4 minutes down to 1 so Alicia can shriek and act silly afterwards seems a waste of an already limited resource.

I like her. I think she got a lot better. If SDR had been around when she was new I think things would have turned out a lot different for her. I like her and Aksana together too, if Lana wasn’t around I think Aksana could do a good “evil eastern european of indeterminate origin” gimmick. I can’t believe her and Naomi didn’t get a feud out of the eye thing.

Aksana actually plays a great “evil Balki Bartokamus” and I’m surprised they don’t use that humorous aspect of her character more. Particularly if it would extricate Emma from pink sock purgatory by shifting Aksana into the comedic Diva role.

She’s not my favourite character, but she’s doing more in her 4 minutes than most of the other divas to actually establish a character. Certainly not perfect but it feels like a step in the right direction.