Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

Back Again

I was engaged to a man I had been with for over 7 years, he cheated on me (more than once) it took me a year to get out and I've moved on from that thank goodness but I'm back in the same position again... not to the same extent but...

I met a guy, we both agreed we'd take things slowly because I wasn't ready for a full on relationship (it was 8 months before we agreed to a realtionship) 9 months down the track...a week after my birthday I think things are perfect then he tells me he'd like to talk about his feelings...

He doesn't feel the same about me but he can't explain it. I said I can't carry on with things the same (like he wanted to do) so he asked for time. I tried it for a week but it drove me nuts!! and really either you want to be with someone or you don't!! 5 weeks down the track we're in the same postion ( trying to stop texting and talking) me holding on to us maybe getting back together, but it's not getting me anywhere. I can't help but hang on to the fact he might want to get back with me, if he did I don't know if I'd want to, what if he changed his mind again.... I just want to let go, but at the same time I don't.

I gave alot to the relationship and I have nothing to show for it, yet again....what is wrong with me!? Am I really that bad!?

NOTHING is wrong with you...only advice I can give is perhaps you need to completely heal your heart before a new relationship will work...you counted the months but - truly that is just a number...My H left 10 months ago and I am nowhere near ready to even consider a new relationship - I have a lot of personal healing to do first...and it sounds like you might too...you deserve to be loved completely and without doubt...get stronger - put you first.

There is nothing wrong with you, this is a man who doesn't know what he wants. He's playing games with you, he wants to keep you on a leesh while he figures out what he wants. He wants you around so if he doesn't find that someone else or it doesn't work out, he has you to fall back on.

Well, ask yourself in your ideal dream, the man that you expect to be, would he do this? Would he be confused about you and his feelings towards you? Sure you gave a lot in the relationship, what did you received back? If egual, then you are at 0, if you put more then you are in minus. He might come back, would you want it, would you forget about this pain, would it be the same?
Or is time to move on, be more cautious next time, don't give to much until you are 100% sure, well when that could be, I am kiddin, but you get the idea.
Stop hurting, be proud, be cool, cut him off completly and if he comes back, make him invest, man like to conquer, so make him fight, if he does, then you could consider him if not, oh, well, wasn't worthed anyway.

Been there too. My ex kept me on a relationship rollercoaster with tons of ups and downs, on and off status. The excuse was that he wasn't sure about our future together. I think it was just an excuse to keep me on a leash too. Until something else came along (I call his new female friend the shiny new toy). I'm sad that I wasted all that time being unhappy while we were &quot;off&quot;, desperately waiting to get back together ON HIS TERMS.

If i were you, don't wait for him to tell you if he wants the relationship. Why does the relationship has to be on his terms? There are 2 people in the relationship. TWO!!! Don't lose yourself in the relationship and delegate control of your life and future to him.

&quot;gave alot to the relationship and I have nothing to show for it&quot; - Just imagine it could be a lot worse. You could be married to this guy with kids and instead of dealing with a breakup, you could be in a divorce and custody battle. So cut your loses before you lose more than you have to.

Think of your relationship investments like the stock market. If all of a sudden your stock starts to lose money, you would sell them, right? You would sell or trade your stocks or pull out of the market before you lose more money, right? Do the same thing to your relationship. Don't lose more than you have to.

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