the recovery buddie (sweetie) that i mentioned, like yourself, kept tossing more gas on the fire, and sadly, she is not with us now... she died of a overdose...

my sponsor of four years died of cancer, and a few more gems of life on lifes terms have occured...

and through all of that, with living the twelve steps, the love and support of the fellowship, and my always with me Powers That Be... i didn't have to drink over any of this, and all were growth opportunities towards a bit more love, understanding, and maturity...

as yourself, i now have self respect back, some money saved, have employment, a relationship, and its with the sister of my sweetie...

mike, i guess i could be labeled the poster boy for repeating the same thing, and expecting different results! lol

i also went to a doc after more then 20+ years...

he knows my story, and he was amazed, the Doc said, the bodys natural healing is amazing on its own, but Mr, combined witht the belief in the spirit that you have, your a mirical he said... you have the insides of a sixteen year old...

now if that didn't blow me away...!

i do pray every day, morning and night...

and life is, what life is, with the good, the not so good, and the indifferent...

we now can accept that, and not try to change it, and be the ring master of a show that wont go on...

as far as that rocket ride....

well, i love life...

some days are like one of those old wooden rubber band propeller airplanes like when i was a kid..

Hey Rusty,Thanks for sharing. My story is very simple how I got here but also annoying at the same time. I feel I am better off then some people here. I have it easy cause I wasn't into the addiction as bad as some other people. Even though I had it easy I wouldn't say that it was easy for myself. I still enjoy looking at others personal stories and lending any advice. Keep your head up you will get through this just stay strong and lean on the forums for help.

Like Chollis after 10 weeks in AA and using the best thinking i had at the time i came to the conclusion that i wasn't as bad as some in the rooms. I'd just heard a grown man share about years of wetting the bed while drunk and most of the men in the room shared similar experiences.

I thought this was disgusting, grown men doing a thing like that. At least when i needed to go i always had the good manners to get up and pee in the wardrobe!

Somehow this made me think i was a superior being? And yes you guessed it, a week later i was drunk!