Wasn't This Us And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This super hottie is from our friend Geniann.
It's your Aww for the day! As always, give it
time to load - turn up your sound...
_____ .---...-.
,' -. `. ,' _____...'
/ - _ - \ : .' _ _ \\
: ' _)' : | :-(_).(_)::
(_ ;) | | -' ||
\ _ / ; | _ ||
`..___..' `-'..____.'`'
;._: _; :_
/ \ SSt ,' `' `. SSt
We Three Friends
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/threefriends.html
---
...Great photography and adorable too! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone:
First-Aid Training Comes In Handy
,{{}}}}}}.
"How come you're late?" asks the {{{{{}}}}}}}.
bartender as the blonde waitress walks {{{{ {{{{{}}}}
in the door. }}}}} _ _ {{{{{
}}}} m m }}}}}
"It was awful," she explains. "I was {{{{C ^ {{{{{
walking down Elm street and there }}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}}
was this terrible accident. A man {{{{{{{{;.___.;{{{{{{{{
was lying in the middle of the }}}}}}}}}) (}}}}}}}}}}
street. He'd been thrown from his {{{{}}}}}': :{{{{{{{{{{
car. His leg was broken, his skull {{{}}}}}} `@` {{{}}}}}}}
was fractured, and there was blood {{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}
everywhere. Thank God I took that }}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{
first-aid course and all my training {{{{{{{{ }}}}}}
came back to me in a minute." }}}}} {{{{ jgs
{{{ }}
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
=======================================================
+------- BIZARRE NOVEMBER/DECEMBER HOLIDAYS -------+
November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day
November 27 is Pins And Needles Day
November 28 is Make Your Own Head Day
November 29 is Square Dance Day
November 30 is Stay At Home Because You're Well Day
December 1 is National Pie Day and Eat A Red Apple Day
December 2 is National Fritters Day
===============================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
,--.,-"";-"-.
.-;-/ / / .- `\ .-.
` ( ' ' ` ; `\/ \
\ / \
/ (. C . ) | .-. |
| _ / (` / |
\ /}| | )(\ |
`-> (____.| / |||
/ \=====| | |\|
| |====| \ _/ `
\__/=====| |`
`-'======| \
|=======/ |
|=======| | .--,
########\ |/ /
jgs |_|__|| ` `--.
,---;-'--'\ `--.
`---`-------'-.___,___.---'
>Never Forget
One day in school.....
How do you spell elephant?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t
That's not how the dictionary spells it.
You didn't ask me how the dictionary spells it!
-<>-
>Octogenarian Golfer
An Octogenarian moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club.
He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told everyone
scheduled to play was already out on the course. He was so
disappointed, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and would
give him a 12 stroke handicap.
The 80 year old said, "I really don't need a handicap. The only real
problem I have is getting out of sand traps."
They both played well. Coming into the par three 18th they were even.
The pro had a nice drive to mid-fairway and would be able to get on the
green with the next stroke and then putt for a par with the following
play.
The old man hit a long drive, and the ball landed in one of the two
sand traps around the hole. Shooting from the sand trap on his second
stroke, he hit a high ball which landed on the green and rolled right
into the hole!
The Assistant Pro was stunned. "Nice shot, but I thought you said you
have a problem getting out of sand traps."
"I do," replied the octogenarian. "Give me a hand."
-<>-
>PA Announcement
Heard over a public address system:
"Will the person who lost the roll of $100 bills tied with a rubber
band please come to the office. We've found the rubber band."
-<>-
>Prospective Juror
Judge to prospective juror: "And why do you wish to be excused from
serving on this jury?"
"Your honor, it's because I don't believe in capital punishment and I
don't want my personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its
proper course."
"Madam, this is not a murder trial. It's a civil lawsuit. A wife is
bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the
$25,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."
"Well, okay. I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital
punishment after all."
-<>-
>Wired For Sound
(Note: This is set before wireless was popular)
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly
tripping before jerking it again.
After several more turns and jerks, a little girl in the third pew
leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt
us?"
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :)
_,,_ __
d888888bd888b
d88888888888888B
8888888P`Y8888P
Y888888 (, \_
,_Y88( )
Y888888b __\
'8"888P (_ Hey God...
jgs | .---'
~;~~\~
.=. \
(_ _) \
|=| \
_ /| | \
/_\/ | | |
.-'--/_/------'-.
`-.,___________,.-'
| ||
|___||
|___||
.'""'';.__
(_________))
>A Dialog With God
Me: God, can I ask you a question?
God: Sure.
Me: Promise you won't get mad?
God: I promise.
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late.
God: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.
God: Okay.
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.
God: Hmmm.
Me: On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call.
God: Okay.
Me: And on top of all that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my
feet in my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!
Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
God: Well, let me see. The Death Angel was at your bed this morning
and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life.
I let you sleep through that.
Me: (humbled): OH...
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver
on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me:(ashamed)
God: The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and
I didn't want you to catch what he has. I knew you couldn't afford
to miss work.
Me: (embarrassed): Ok...God: Your phone went dead because the person
who was calling was going to give false witness about what you said
during that call. I didn't even let you talk to them so that you would
be covered.
Me: (softly) I see, God.
God: Oh, and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw
out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted
to be in the dark.
Me: I'm sorry God.
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in all things, the good
and the bad.
Me: I will trust you.
God: And don't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than
your plan.
Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for
everything today
God: You're welcome, child.
It was just another day being your God, and I love looking after my
children.
---
...A great reminder - We don't thank God enough! Thanks Jo Ann!
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Brenda :)
__,=,__
.~`` .` `.``~.
| . . |____
`-;=============;""""`
( (. _).) \
| |
\ `-.___.' /
'._ _.'
/`''''\
/ \
| |/\/\/\/|.-.
|-|/\/\/\/|;' )
(__/_______| _)
#########'._)
jgs |==|=|__
,,,(______)_),,,,
,,,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,,,,
,,,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,,,
,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,
>HEY, WASN'T THIS US?
A little house with three bedrooms,
one bathroom and one car on the street.
A mower that you had to push
to make the grass look neat.
In the kitchen on the wall
we only had one phone,
And no need for recording things,
someone was always home.
We only had a living room
where we would congregate,
unless it was at mealtime
in the kitchen where we ate.
We had no need for family rooms
or extra rooms to dine.
When meeting as a family
those two rooms would work out fine.
We only had one TV set
and channels maybe two,
But always there was one of them
with something worth the view.
For snacks we had potato chips
that tasted like a chip.
And if you wanted flavor
there was Lipton's onion dip.
Store-bought snacks were rare because
my mother liked to cook
and nothing can compare to snacks
in Betty Crocker's book.
Weekends were for family trips
or staying home to play.
We all did things together --
even go to church to pray.
When we did our weekend trips
depending on the weather,
no one stayed at home because
we liked to be together.
Sometimes we would separate
to do things on our own,
but we knew where the others were
without our own cell phone.
Then there were the movies
with your favorite movie star,
and nothing can compare
to watching movies in your car.
Then there were the picnics
at the peak of summer season,
pack a lunch and find some trees
and never need a reason.
Get a baseball game together
with all the friends you know,
have real action playing ball --
and no game video.
Remember when the doctor
used to be the family friend,
and didn't need insurance
or a lawyer to defend?
The way that he took care of you
or what he had to do,
because he took an oath and strived
to do the best for you.
Remember going to the store
and shopping casually,
and when you went to pay for it
you used your own money?
Nothing that you had to swipe
or punch in some amount,
and remember when the cashier person
had to really count?
The milkman used to go
from door to door,
And it was just a few cents more
than going to the store.
There was a time when mailed letters
came right to your door,
without a lot of junk mail ads
sent out by every store.
The mailman knew each house by name
and knew where it was sent;
there were not loads of mail addressed
to "present occupant."
There was a time when just one glance
was all that it would take,
and you would know the kind of car,
the model and the make.
They didn't look like turtles
trying to squeeze out every mile;
they were streamlined, white walls, fins
and really had some style.
One time the music that you played
whenever you would jive,
was from a vinyl, big-holed record
called a forty-five.
The record player had a post
to keep them all in line
and then the records would drop down
and play one at a time.
Oh sure, we had our problems then,
just like we do today
and always we were striving,
trying for a better way.
Oh, the simple life we lived
still seems like so much fun,
how can you explain a game,
just kick the can and run?
And why would boys put baseball cards
between bicycle spokes
and for a nickel, red machines
had little bottled Cokes?
This life seemed so much easier
and slower in some ways.
I love the new technology
but I sure do miss those days.
So time moves on and so do we
and nothing stays the same,
but I sure love to reminisce
and walk down memory lane.
With all today's technology
we grant that it's a plus!
But it's fun to look way back and say,
Hey look, guys, THAT WAS US!
---
...Yep - Those were the days! Thanks Brenda!
-<>-
.------------------------.
| PSYCHIATRIC |
| HELP 5˘ |
|________________________|
|| .-"""--. ||
|| / \.-. ||
|| | ._, \ ||
|| \_/`-' '-.,_/ ||
|| (_ (' _)') \ ||
|| /| |\ ||
|| | \ __ / | ||
|| \_).,_____,/}/ ||
__||____;_--'___'/ ( ||
|\ || (__,\\ \_/------||
||\||______________________||
|||| |
|||| THE DOCTOR |
\||| IS [IN] _____|
\|| (______)
jgs `|___________________//||\\
//=||=\\
` `` `
>Law Of The Garbage Truck
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We
were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of
a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his
brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of
the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My
taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really
friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined
your car and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law
of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run
around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of
disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump
it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.
Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their
garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the
streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage
trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
soooooooo ....
Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a garbage-free day!
---
...Excellent idea to me! Thanks Brenda!
-<>-
>A BREAK THROUGH
I have now come to the
Realization that, for the most part, I
Can choose to be happy on a daily basis.
There is a measure of truth
In the old saying, "Fake it till
You make it." Granted,
It doesn't work all the time.
However, if "fake it" means
Choosing to think and act
In a variety of "happy ways"
Before I actually have
Those feelings, then I
Would have to say I agree.
Take a simple smile, for instance.
I've found that something
As simple as smiling can do wonders
To help me see that I have in
Me the ability to choose to be happy.
Smile, and the world will smile back at you.
---
...Great Advice! Thanks Brenda!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
,________________
/ \ \
|.-| |
.-', | ,_______ |
/ | """""| | |
O\__.--| '-' |
,=` _|______________|
',,,==` `~~~~|||~~~~~~~`
` |||
|||
|||
|||
|||
|||
|||
|||
\\ |||, //
jgs . ..::::\\\||////::::....
'' ' "" ' '"" "" "" '' ""' "''
>Blonde Cookbook
It's fun to cook for Charles Today I made angel food cake. The recipe
said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me
the extra bowls.
He wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without
dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when he brought a friend
home for supper
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming
the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say
it improved the rice any.
Today he asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare
ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Asked me
why I was rolling around in the garden..
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a
bowl and beat it.. There must have been something wrong with this
recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday
He did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to
dress it for Sunday. I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some
reason he keeps counting to ten.
I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a
flash of genius..I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls
for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager
for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe. If I can talk him
into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a
chocolate moose.
---
...LOL! Thanks Linda!
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friend KarenF :)
.-.
## )
*
_.-+*'`*+-._
,## _ _ #.
;### ((.;;.)) ##:
.=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=,
>##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###<
---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l
`-""-'
From a teacher in the Nashville area
"We are worried about 'the cow' when it is all about the 'Ice Cream.
'The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching 3rd
grade. The last Presidential election was heating up and some of the
children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a
class president. We would choose our nominees. They would make a
campaign speech and the class would vote. To simplify the process,
candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what
kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many
nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the
top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates
were good kids.
I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental
support.
I had never seen Olivia's mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches.
Jamie went first.
He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place.
He ended by promising to do his very best.
Everyone applauded and he sat down.
Now is was Olivia's turn to speak.
Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me,
I will give you ice cream." She sat down.
The class went wild. "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."
She surely would say more. She did not have to.
A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She
wasn't sure. But no one pursued that question. They took her at her
word.
Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it...She didn't
know.
The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice
cream...
Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.
Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and
51.4 % of the people reacted like nine year old's.
They want ice cream.
The other 48.6% percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and
clean up the mess."
Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone that they have
not first taken away from someone else.
Most people voted for the ice cream.
THAT MY FRIEND, IS HOW OBAMA GOT ELECTED...
BY THOSE WHO WANT EVERYTHING FOR FREE!
---
...About the size of it. Thanks KarenF!
People don't realize there are consequences for their actions.
==============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
Armed Robber Sues Elderly Victim For Defending Himself
http://tinyurl.com/dyx4t2c
---
...Ridiculous! Thanks PatDeE
-<>-
[Politics]
>From Our Friend JoeL :)
The Agenda-Grinding America Down - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKnyAiNJ4lo&feature=related
Afterburner with Bill Whittle: It's a Miracle! - YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXEoQJ7ZMZs&feature=watch-vrec
The Naked Communist #1 - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtoIfLgzpx4
WALKING INTO MORDOR - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqNVpACRLaI&feature=relmfu
Time to Consider Divorce/Separation From America?
http://www.westernjournalism.com/time-to-consider-divorceseparation-from-america/
---
...Interesting! Thanks JoeL!
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
It never fails; right around Thanksgiving bizarre turkey
related stories always start popping up. And this year is
no exception.
I was particularly amused by the suicide turkey in
Sheboygan, WI who launched a preemptive strike on
Thanksgiving last week. Utility officials say the turkey
flew into a power line in Sheboygan County knocking out
power for about 1,500 people.
But the real story comes from Gulf Breeze, FL where
investigators say a neighbor and his friend used a bow and
arrow to shoot and kill a family's pet turkey for their
Thanksgiving dinner.
Sheriff's deputies arrested two Santa Rosa County teens
charging them with armed burglary, armed trespassing,
theft of livestock and animal cruelty.
The teens told deputies they planned to eat the 30-pound
turkey for Thanksgiving. I guess food stamps are a little
harder to get in Florida.
Animal lovers Brian and Christa Caponi live on 6 acres and
have a multitude animals, but they said this turkey was
special because he was so friendly. In fact, the Caponis
said he was more like a family dog than a turkey.
Although a family dog would not go nearly so well with
stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy.
*-- 38M Americans shop online from toilet --*
PORTLAND, Maine - More than 38 million Americans have
shopped online while sitting on the toilet, a CashStar
survey showed. The poll also suggests almost 17 million
people have shopped via a mobile device while standing in
the retailer's physical store; 9 million have secretly
shopped while in a business meeting; and 4 million have
shopped online while driving a car. The survey was
conducted online nationwide by Harris Interactive on
behalf of CashStar from Nov. 6-8, among 2,104 U.S. online
adults ages 18 and older. The calculation was based on the
U.S. Census Bureau's 2011 Census, which estimates there
are 237,744,632 million adults ages 18 and older residing
in the United States. The CashStar-Harris survey examined
the strange places U.S. adults have used computers or
mobile devices to shop online. "Smartphones and tablets
have enabled consumers to shop and gift on-the-go in more
ways and places than ever before," David Stone, co-founder
and chief executive officer of CashStar, a digital gifting
and incentives partner for retailers, said in a statement
Monday. "The retailers who have been paying attention
and catering to where and how consumers want to shop by
mobile-optimizing their e-commerce sites and offering
mobile eGift Cards will reap the rewards this holiday
season and have a jump on the competition going into 2013."
*-- Cocaine given to trick-or-treaters --*
OLDHAM, England - A British man admitted to accidentally
handing out bags of cocaine to trick-or-treaters who
turned out to be the children of a police officer. Oldham
Magistrates' Court heard Donald Green, 23, accidentally
dropped the bags of cocaine into the candy sacks of three
children, ages 8, 6 and 5, instead of the candy bags in
his pocket, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday. Police
Constable Simon Fowell, the children's father, soon
recognized the strange packages in his children's bags
and Green was arrested on a charge of possessing a Class
A drug. Green pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 12
months of probation as well as 130 hours community work
and court costs totaling $230.
*-- Santa dangles by beard at British mall --*
READING, England - Officials at a British mall said a Santa
was left dangling by his false beard when it became stuck
while he was rappelling down for his big entrance. The
Broad Street Mall in Reading, England, said the Santa Claus
was rappelling into the mall to entertain the children
during Saturday afternoon's lights switch-on ceremony when
his false beard became caught and he was left dangling 15
feet off the ground for about 30 minutes, the BBC reported
Tuesday. Stephanie Maynard, marketing manager at the mall,
said the Santa was uninjured. "He could have just taken
his beard off and let himself down but he was such a
professional and he didn't want to let the children down,"
she said. "He lost his footing as he came through the hole
in the ceiling and there was a sudden jolt and he got
caught in the clip on the rope. Some people were absolutely
mortified while others thought it was the funniest thing
ever. They had to let another rope down and get him down
and there was such a roar from the crowd. Usually after
the lights switch-on the center empties but there were so
many people still there waiting to see if Father Christmas
was going to get down."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Johanna :)
.`:;ij;f,;,
.`;sk568G6itz,-",
.\a\x6P^98^"^986r/,-'
-._sV89" " `88k,-_"
`.-\Q8f 188/,-',
.-_J88| o o |88KJ-_.
,-;388l j888[=-
_".>88Y6._ ,J.__.4988E:._"
.;=J98| T"^T^"T |88K;-._
_"Z38|._|_ | _|_.|88R=;.
.'/2l. | """ | ,j8S^._"
'"j^7Z6bouuuod3R^L`-.
,'./jQV9TYVR\[\`".
'|'|! |'|`. "
./ l | \
.'_ _.\ j, `._,.
(_)_)._) (_.__,._) itz
>The Cleaning Poem
I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny,
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my good work.
I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops - I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it...
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.
**/Thank you for being my e-mail buddy and friend!/**
Glad we can keep in touch!*
---
...LOL! SO VERY Glad too! Thanks Johanna!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend JoeL :)
_.._
.-" "-.
/ ,- -. \
: ' o o ` ;
; . , :
: :-.__.-: ;
\ :_: :_: /
bug `-._ _.-'
""
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian
woman. One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant. Not
wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum
of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child
support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write 'Spaghetti' on the back when the child was born. He would then
arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later.' he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white,
and fainted.
On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Two with
meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.
-<>-
() `.. .. `... `.. `.... `.. `..
()-'`-. `.. `..`. `.. `.. `.. `.. `.. `..
`| |\\ `.. `.. `.. `..`.. `..`.. `. `..
' |__| \) `.. `.. `.. `..`.. `..`.. `.. `..
. //\\__ `.. `.. `. `..`.. `..`.. `. `.. `..
(( `--( `.. `..`.. `. .. `.. `.. `. `. `....
. )\ `.. .. `.. `.. `.... `.. `..
,--._
` ,-'`- ;-. `.. `.. `. `.. `..
,: , `. `. `.. `. .. `.. `..
/. ` ,-' . \ `. `.. `. `.. `.. `..
( ; `. ) `... `. `.. `.. `.. `..
| ' , `. | `. `.. `...... `.. `.. `..
( / . ( ) `. `. `.. `.. `.. `..
\ ) `/ `.... `.. `.. `..`........`........
`. / ' ,'
`-:_ _,-' Consider yourself hit by a snowball !!
`--'
-shimrod
>The Blonde
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility
was almost zero when the Blonde got off work.
She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it
home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her
situation.
She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a
blizzard she should wait for a snow-plow to come by and follow it. That
way she would not get stuck in a snow drift.This made her feel much
better and sure enough in a little while a snow-plow went by and she
started to follow it.
As she followed the snow-plow she was feeling very smug as they
continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard
conditions. After an hour had passed, she was somewhat surprised when
the snow-plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car
and signaled for her to roll down her window.
The snow-plow driver wanted to know if she was alright as she had been
following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him
of her daddy's advice to follow a snow-plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she
wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, and was going
over to Sears next.
-<>-
._-'-_ .
. ' /_-_-_\ ` .
.' |-_-_-_-| `.
ejm ( `.-_-_-.' )
!`. .'!
! ` . . ' !
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
/ / \ \
_-| \___ ___/ /-_
(_ )__\_)\(_/__( _)
))))\X\ ((((
\/ \/
>Going to Mexico?
Cheech and Chong are beggars.
They beg in different areas of town.
Chong begs for the same amount of time
as Cheech, but collects only about $8.00 or $9.00 a day.
Cheech brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar
bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a
mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to spend.
"Hey, amigo," Chong says to Cheech,
"I work just as long and hard as you do,
so how come you bring home a suitcase
full of ten dollar bills every day?
Cheech says,
"Look at your sign, man, what does it say?"
Chong reads his sign:
"I have no work, a wife
and six kids to support."
"What's wrong with that?"
Chong asks him.
"Oh man, No wonder you only get
$8.00 or $9.00 a day!" says Cheech.
Chong says,
"All right, what's on your sign?"
Cheech shows him his sign - it reads:
Need only $10 more to get back to Mexico!
---
...LOL! Thanks JoeL!
============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Bunni :)
o o o o o
| | | o | __ /
| | |/\ /| |/ | |
| |\ \ ' \|> \ _|\
| || / / / |"
o o o __
| ,o o | / /
|_ /__ / `--| |/
| \ \ \ /--. \ \
| ' | ' / | / /
>Your shoes size can tell your age! Try this.
1. Take your shoe size
2. Multiply it by 5
3. Add 50
4. Multiply by 20
5. Add 1012
6. Minus the year you were born
Final answer???
The first digit is your shoe size and the second your age!
True or False?
---
...Cool! Thanks Bunni!
==========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
^^^^^^^
| |
| |
| (o)o)
(c _)
| ___)
L____/
/ \
/ \
|L_| |
| || | Bart Simpson
| || |
L(_)___/
\###|
|||
LLL_
(___)) teb
A four-year-old was showing a little friend the family photos
that covered one wall in their basement. Out of sight but
not out of earshot, her mother overheard her say, "Here's a
picture of my mommy when she was a little girl. I wasn't
there, but people say she used to be nice."
-<>-
Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one
customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each
day before ordering.
One day, his regular waitress decided to see if he could be
made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she
marked out the ham and eggs entry.
Once the customer had looked over the menu for a few minutes,
the waitress approached him and asked, "Sir, did you notice
that I scratched something you like?"
Without looking up from the menu, he quickly replied, "Well,
would you mind washing your hands before you bring me my ham
nd eggs?"
-<>-
A co-worker returned after lunch carrying a dress from the
cleaners. "Pretty," said one of the guys. "Big date tonight?"
"I picked it up for a friend," she replied, adding, "Do you
really think I could fit in a tiny thing like this?"
Jerry smiled and said, "Do you really think I've lived this
long by answering questions like that?"
-<>-
English professors love to catch the errors students make
in their term papers, and they love nothing better than
to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of
Calvin College English department collected this list of
mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:
___ _____
.'/,-Y" "~-.
l.Y ^.
/\ _\_ "Doh!"
i ___/" "\
| /" "\ o !
l ] o !__./
\ _ _ \.___./ "~\
X \/ \ ___./
( \ ___. _..--~~" ~`-.
` Z,-- / \
\__. ( / ______)
\ l /-----~~" /
Y \ /
| "x______.^
| \ -Row
j Y
->Homer-
One snowy evening my brother, a regional police officer,
stopped a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. "Good
evening, ma'am," he greeted the lady. "How are you this
evening?"
"Fine, thank you," she replied.
My brother continued, "Anything to drink this evening?"
Surprised, the lady answered, "Uh...no, thank you."
-<>-
Some people bend over backward not to insult others. A while
ago, I overheard my sister, a travel agent, confirm her
client's flight this way: "Your confirmation code is F as in
Foxtrot, R as in Romeo, and I as in, uuuh, Native American."
=============================================================
>-->From The MouthPiece:
|^^^^^^^^|
| |
| |
| |
| _ _, .---------------.
| (.).) | |
| .-^--_ | BAD RAIN TODAY! |
\ ' _____) | |
| \ (__ /_-----------------'
/ -__/
/ \
/ / . |
/ / / |
/ \ / '
/ \ / /
/ . /
/ / X /
/ / / |--| |____
\/\_/ |--| ----.
/ |\ \----'
/ /| | \ \
`_/_|_. `-
>Top Ten Signs There's Trouble at The Weather Channel
10. They're rerunning forecasts from 2004
9. Weathercasters giggle every time they say, "ball
lightning"
8. Hours of programming devoted to footage of clouds that
look like monkeys
7. Watercooler talk includes hilarious comments like,
"Doppler. I don't even know her."
6. Long range forecast — "Winter: Cold, Summer: Hot"
5. CEO was caught selling anemometers out of the trunk of
his car
4. Smiling graphic on the sun is giving the finger
3. From 6pm to midnight it's just a guy making wind noises
with his mouth
2. They don't have a single magician on this week
1. Satellite shot always seems to catch Jennifer Aniston
sunbathing
-<>-
________________________
| |
| |
| __----__ __----__ |
|/ * \ / * \|
| | | | Just A Little Well Done...
--|\ / \ /|--
/ | --____-- --____-- | \
| (-| |-) |
\ |. .| /
--/ \--
/ \
`--______________________--'
\_|__|__|__|__|__|_|_/
`---__ __---'
) (
unknown
>The Top 10 Signs That You've Been In The Sun Too Long
10) Passersby throw raw meat on your stomach in hopes of
cooking it.
9) Cancer researchers are calling you hourly to be their
test case.
8) You now live in a Sand Castle Apartment Village.
7) Aloe Vera just bubbles on the surface when you apply it.
6) The people who do the Coppertone Ads reject you b/c
you're over qualified.
5) You have to clean your melted sunglasses off of your
face.
4) Your little toe has turned to ash
3) People light their cigarettes off of your skin.
2) Black people stop you on the street to say "Whats up my
brother?"...you're white.
1) You've permanently blinded 15 people just with your tan
line.
-<>-
|\/\ ,.
/ `' |,-,
/ /_
_/ /
(.-,--. /
/o/ o \ /
\_\ / _/
(__`--' _)
/ |
(_____,' \
\_ _\_
`._..-' `._
/ ,' `.
.'| / \
|_| | |
|| |______|
|/ | |\
/ | | \
/ | | \
`. | | \
( `-.._____| |---i
`. _| | /
| (_ \ |
| | | | |_)|
`-+--f--`-^-'--'
| | | |
| | | |
_,(`--'), | |
.-' `--'_t(`--'),
/ .-' `--' |
`-..___/ (_)| hjw
`-.._____..-'
>Resume blunders:
(From actual resumes as reported by Fortune magazine)
"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive
experience."
"I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat
progroms"
"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
"Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave."
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institu-
tions."
"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
"It's best for employers that I not work with people."
"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse."
"I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free
to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
"As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing invest-
ments."
"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so
far."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."
"Marital status: often. Children: various."
"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all
employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not
work under those conditions."
"Finished eighth in my class of ten."
"References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind
me."
-<>-
___
_//_\\
," //".
/ \
_/ |
(.-,--. |
/o/ o \ /
\_\ / /\/\
(__`--' ._)
/ `-. |
( ,`-. |
`-,--\_ ) |-.
_`.__.' ,-' \
|\ ) _.-' |
i-\.'\ ,--+.
.' .' \,-'/ \
/ / / \
7_| | |
|/ "i.___.j"
/ | |\
/ | | \
/ | | |
| | | |
|____ | |-i'
| """"----""| | |
\ ,-' |/
`. `-, |
|`-._ / /| |\ \
| `-. `' | ||`-'
| | `-'|
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| | |
)`-.___| |
.'`-.____)`-.___.-'(
.' .'-._____.-i
/ .' |h
`-------/ . |j
`--------' "--'w
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as
it is for women. Follow these rules and you should
have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not
matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns
17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never
have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything
with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying
those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?"
"OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8 inch socket
yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his
car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or
something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love
gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And
never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had
wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have
invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones
they have worn out. If you have a lot of moneybuy your
man a big screen TV and watch him go wild as he flips,
and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
With-in a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely
everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock.
Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #7:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works,
Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RVCenter, and
Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance
Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter
if he doesn't know what itis. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be
something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford
Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
Rule #8:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It
must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Clamps. Men can never have enough quick grip
clamps. No one knows why.
Rule #10: Buy your man Duct Tape. This is a man's most
universal repair tool. All men know, if you can't fix it,
duct it.
=====================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
God's Royal and Holy Priests
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/royalpriests.html
Who Is Jesus Christ?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/whoisjesus.html
Here's Your Frog!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html
Playing With Words
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wordplay.html
World's Best Husband
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/husbands.html
Why Dogs Bite People
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsbite.html
Signs For Woman
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wsigns.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Golf Magic
http://www.youtube.com/embed/NIZ_bmCP7GQ
---
...Super! Thanks Linda!
Every once in a while someone who has a magnificent talent shows up..
This is one of those times.
http://www.chookaparker.com.au/
---
...Love this! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend JoeL :)
Steve Martin Quotes - BrainyQuote
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/steve_martin.html
Andrew Klavan - Traditional Christmas vs. Progressive Christmas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqk8NR7xVd4&feature=watch-vrec
Jeff Dunham- Walter on marriage - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1LG_Neofn0&feature=fvst
George Carlin - Euphemisms and political correctness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8PhoyDIRRk&feature=related
Here Come The Mummies!
http://tinyurl.com/cxlpwzh
---
...TeeHee! Thanks JoeL!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Wesley :)
ripped : Star Spangled Banner
http://www.starspangledbannerchallenge.com/
---
...Beautiful! Thank You Wesley!
==============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Facebook and the Department of Labor have teamed up for a
new app that displays job openings. It'll be weird when
people find a job because of Facebook, then get fired from
that job for using Facebook, then use Facebook to find
another job. It's the circle of life." -Jimmy Fallon
"Today is 'America Recycles Day.' We're celebrating here.
All of tonight's jokes are from previous shows."
-Craig Ferguson
"Hostess, the company that makes Twinkies, filed for bank-
ruptcy in January. I don't understand how this is possible.
This country has never been fatter. How are the people who
make Zingers and Snowballs losing money?" -Jimmy Kimmel
"Today was the release of 'Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.' I saw
people camped out last night waiting for it. I thought it was
some kind of Occupy Toys "R" Us." -Craig Ferguson
"The Oxford English Dictionary revealed that its word of the
year is GIF - the format for animated files. People who use
dictionaries were like, 'What's a GIF?' And then people who
use GIFs were like, 'What's a dictionary?'" -Jimmy Fallon
"At a gas station in Texas, a woman purchased what she
thought was a $200 iPad that turned out to be just a mirror.
Let that be a lesson. Make sure you buy your iPad from a
REPUTABLE gas station." -Conan O'Brian
"Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving when you find
real bargains. It works on our innate desire to save money
and to get away from your family after Thanksgiving."
-Craig Ferguson
"A new report suggests that Christopher Columbus may have
secretly been Jewish. What tipped historians off was
Columbus' diary entry where he described his journey to
America as 'a real schlep.'" -Conan O'Brien
"The U.S. Postal Service announced yesterday they are
expecting this year's holiday season to be their busiest
ever and also their slowest ever. That's probably the
only business in America that complains about being busy."
-Jimmy Kimmel
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
************************************************************************
>TO SUBSCRIBE:
Visit Here
This Weeks regular Shangy emails
OR
For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
************************************************************************