Fun

Halloween is a time to express your creativity. However, some people just aren’t creative. Learn from other people’s mistakes in our gallery of 16 Failed Halloween Costumes.

1. Eyeshadow does not a costume make

Is he an 80s ice skater, 80s pop singer, or 80s dancer? Or is he just “The 80s”? The problem is, I have no idea. I appreciate his jaunty hands-on-hips pose, but otherwise, this leaves me cold and confused. A little sparkle does not make everything better.

2. Lazy Gaga

It’s like if my mom had to put together a Lady Gaga costume. First she’d be like, ooh, those Pippi Longstocking tights are funky, let me put those on. Then we’d go to the mall together and I’d show her Hot Topic and she’d buy the cute little plaid skirt (but not after worrying it’s too short — it shows off her knees after all!). She’d ask my 13 year old sister to borrow her “punk” cut-off gloves (made from old socks). Then she’d pluck a chunky gold chain from her own closet, flat iron her bangs and voila! Lady Gaga.

The only thing remotely Lady Gaga about this costume are the glasses.

This costume depresses me.

3. Whatsamata? Wheredooeyestart

Okay, this lady is cute but that doesn’t change the fact the costume is uninspired. She has foam packing on her head and is wearing a t-shirt. Basically this was just an excuse to take her favorite stuffed animal to work.

4. Cardboard box man

If this were a kid’s costume, I’d think it was cute. But this is an adult — look how tall he is! What is he? Do you think this is a Chewbacca outfit? If it’s a postmodern abstract Chewbacca, it’s kind of cool. Otherwise: FAIL.

5. Tin foil man

Have you ever tried to reuse tinfoil? It’s a real bitch to do, because once it’s been folded, it gets kind of cracked and wrinkly and worn and if you don’t wrap strategically, it’ll disintegrate. This dude is basically walking leftovers. He’s like a tinfoil swan only in the shape of a man. With a surfboard. Yeah.

Whatever it is, I don’t get it and looks crappy.

6. GHOST

I appreciate the fact that you wrote “GHOST” in magic marker on top of your costume. Because otherwise, I wouldn’t know what the hell you were dressed as, which is really sad, because you are dressed as a freaking ghost, the easiest costume in the world.

You’re not supposed to cut a hole for your face. You’re supposed to just cutout eyes and maybe a mouth. Hello! You’re a ghost — you don’t have a regular face! You’re dead!

Also. Girlfriend, that is a fitted sheet. It has elastic on the corners.

7. Call ATF right now please

Ok, I was unsure whether to include this, because this guy is really freaking scary, so in some way, his costume is a success. I think the reason this is a failure is because I’m not sure if he’s trying to look scary in the way that he is actually seeming scary. He’s scary in a “omg we need to pass gun control laws right now” way, whereas I think he was going for a “damn, I’m one badass mofo” kind of scariness.

8. Holy Hippies

Open letter to the Johnson family, who dressed up as hippies last Halloween:

Hippies are supposed to be dirty. That’s why you called our neighbor who put an Obama sign in his window a “goddamn dirty hippie.” You look way too freaking clean. I can see my reflection in Mrs. Johnson’s peace sign.

Also. You can walk into any thriftstore in America and buy an authentic tie-dyed T-shirt for 25 cents. Why did you have to buy the polyester Wal-Mart version?

There is no joy in your Halloween costume. I hate you.

Sincerely,
me

9. This is a hippie guy wearing a slutty dress

He didn’t even take off his hat.

10. Phisherwoman

I’m pretty sure this woman is dressed as a concept: phishing. See the “Enter password here” sign and the fish in her hand? Conceptual costumes are ambitious; I’ll give her that. But there’s nothing menacing hiding underneath her grin. I’ll be she works in corporate tech support and also wore this to work to “raise awareness.” That only makes this 3x more boring, however.

11. Pumpkin belly

I can get down with the idea of turning your less positive bodily attributes into a costume. This gentleman, for example, has painted his beer belly orange and blackened his bellybutton to make a jack-o-lantern. But it’s simply frightening and not in a good way. If he had hired a makeup artist to shape his gut into a beer keg, then he’d be on my Best Dressed list, but this is simply horrific.

12. Sad green guy

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: do not skimp on the face paint.

Also. I get the feeling he wore the green hat not to add flair to his costume but because he would be in the sun. You have to commit all the way or else you shouldn’t even bother, m’kay? ARE YOU THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT OR ARE YOU MY HIGH SCHOOL MATH TEACHER?

13. iPhone, iPod, what’s the difference?

Call me picky, but I think one should wear all black or silver underneath one’s iPhone costume, because all white is for an iPod costume. Duh.

14. Starbucks guy

This would’ve been cool in 1997, guy.

15. Stripper pole guy

Hey, what’s a sexy funny costume that will have the girls rubbing against me all night? OMG, a stripper pole! Eff yeah!

Well, you just look like an ass. I wouldn’t rub against you with a ten foot…stripper pole.

16. Teachers in costume

Are these women dressed up as high school teachers? Oh wait, they are my high school teachers. One of them threw on her orange blazer and the other one added a festive shawl. I guess that makes them a pumpkin and a gypsy.

I know it’s hard to come up with a creative costume these days, but let’s try to work a little harder or just not dress up at all, okay?

Seen any other major Halloween costume failures? Save your fellow Rounders from a similar fate and let us know in the comments.