Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Keep it to yourself

So there are a lot of people in the world who subscribe to the "Let it out" and "Tell people how you feel" philosophy. Total bullshit. In most cases all that leads to is hurt feelings and brooding over the conversation. I believe firmly in a non-confrontational approach. Which means that if I have a problem with you, I won't directly tell you, I just won't talk to you for like 6 months. And then I tell you I'm busy when you ask.

I bring this up, because we finally told his sister we are dating. Her reaction wasn't what we expected. She said she knew, that she felt it was weird, but she seemed okay with it. We are suspecting that she isn't okay with it. And I hope she doesn't bring it up with me, because I will unleash the fury. If she's smart she won't say anything to me and learn to deal with it privately. However, she's one of those people that feels she has to say what's on her mind, so I'm doubting it. I hate those people.

The fact is that I don't like her anymore. We don't have much in common, except for maybe some Netflix movies and Frida Kahlo. She confronted me earlier this year saying that all I talk about is money, which I've never recovered from. I wish she hadn't told me that, because now I just think she's stupid. She was pushing off her own non-white collar guilt on me, and that kind of shit I don't like. Additionally, she has that kind of armchair elitism that she thinks makes her a better person. You know the type, the one who makes sure everyone is politically correct or she gets offended, but would never live in a neighborhood that isn't White suburbia. The type that makes sure she corrects someone from saying "Black" to say "African American", yet tells me I'm brave for living downtown, which is where the homeless and the real color is. (All colors, not just one type)

Aside from that, I've invited her over three times and made dinner for both her and her husband. We are talking homemade sangria, enchiladas, guacamole and flan. (homemade). And not once has she invited me over, instead she invites her brother over for dinner. Isn't that some bullshit? I'm so over it. The tough part is that now I'm dating her brother, so its like I have to keep the peace. He agrees with me mostly, he thinks its shitty she hasn't invited me over, and in general doesn't like her high and mighty behavior, but that's his sister. So here I am. Stuck in between.

5 comments:

Anonymous
said...

well dear, you already know how i feel about this one. the friendship is over, time to move on. i realize that the whole prospective sister in law issue will be looming over your head, but decide to make that a reason to deal with her only on an "as needed" basis. make the decision to let it go. or your foreseeable future will be spent in misery.

I've had a (sort of) similar situation lately with my neighbor who used to be a friend, and we still work together, but we're hardly on speaking terms. She is snide and selfish (I am, too) and I just can't take her equivocation (GRE word!) anymore. She just drove by my house (probably on her way to the store) and I shuttered. Oh yeah, and she keeps borrowing things from me...which is super weird, but it's my fault for letting her do it. I'm calling her today to get the last thing back, so I guess she'll be forced to confront me again. Looking forward to it!

I'm having the same issue w/my girlfriend's ex. They live together, and I'm forced to be nice to the ex in order to hang out at the house. Her ex seems to feign friendliness but then blow up to my gf once I'm gone. It's a tough situation when you feel you're forced to play nice to someone you ultimately could give a shit about. I think all you can do is keep the contact as minimal as possible.

Stacey,You are the least selfish person I've ever met, so no I can't agree with you on that. I am happy you used one of those GRE words that I'm sure we pored over and over again at Starbucks, and I think you meant "shuddered". Anyhow, that must be awkward working with her, but I feel that I've learned to play the game when it comes to working with people you hate. I just keep it airy, "Hey girl, I love that dress" and just cut conversations really short.