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Help Line

Letter to a men's help line...
Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem:
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot.
I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket??

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Jim! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Jim."He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks " Jim if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser"
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Jim, and says "Hi Jim. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Jim's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Jim follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Jim."..