To say Denise has been to hell and back over the last 3 week,s is an understatment but all that has been thrown at her has not stopped her from getting ready for competition on Saturday 26th at Baltimore.
All I can say is Denise is a marvel I take my hat off to her.
All the very best for Saturday Denise go get them.
ROBBIExxxx

Thank you Robbie. I have no words to express what has occurred especially in the past several days. Kept me out of the gym for a week out of fear ..... but I have a full weight system at home. And as soon as I mustered the courage to go back .... I just never saw it coming. At 5'5" and just over 100 lbs, I may look strong, but there is simply no way against someone larger than me.

I have always been so aware of not gossiping, not speaking ill of others ever, helping people, treating other's well ..... But seem to be forever the victim. Figured I must of done something awful in a former life...... but my training is constant and what I can control. So your damn right I'll be on that stage, and I'll tear it up too and make you all proud! I won't allow fear or challenges to scare me away from anything ever! Some of the BBer's at my comp are aware of what is going on, and if one of the other 2 stalkers show up... he'll be faced with a bunch of my BBing very large, mad and protective male friends

It's OK, no worries from me. I will keep on, I guess stalkers come with the territory..... oh and FYI, they came from my BBing comps or my modeling work. I guess crazy people are simply just crazy.

What the heck happened? Gosh this sounds very unfortunate, are you ok? I hate to hear stuff like this

Well good luck on stage and i'm glad you are keeping a positive attitude despite whatever is going on.

I tried to make it down to philly last comp but it was a fri and I couldnt get anyone to go and I had things going on. Too bad it wasn't on a saturday. I will def be at the one aug in trenton. I don't think I can make this one in baltimore but i'm rooting for ya!

Got attacked by one of my stalkers in the gym parking lot. I'm OK and then was attacked again later that eve by someone else in the club (first time it's ever happened). Night before they had security owners and everyone out there as 3 men were waiting for me when I was leaving. But I always have security with me (except the gym), so they hustled me back in and took care of them .... looked like gang banger types.

Now I have one threatening to be at my next comp and I don't know what he looks like. But like I said my peeps have my back, so I'll be careful and OK.

Was lying low but then realized the more high profile I become this comes with it. I refuse to let anyone scare me out of anything, I refuse to be afraid. I'm going to continue to compete, model and headline. For the most part it's very positive! Have a lot of friends and fans coming to my show on Sat, so it's really nice to have such a support group out there. They help motivate me to continue on. And I'm WAY to stubborn to back down from anyone or anything..... so people will just have to deal! hehe

Ummmmm and that doesn't even come close to summing up some other hings going down. Just taking life as it comes!

I guess I finally pushed myself too hard this round. With all the physical and mental stress from the last few weeks it just shut down on me.

Got lost on the drive up but no worries (I take it all in stride) and was able to make the venue polygraph out and ready to walk on stage. This is by far the tightest I have ever come in, so was pretty stoked.

Round one went well (prejudging morning show) and then I had to run into dressing room for a quick change for the bikini round, also went we... I felt good and of course love the stage . Ran back to dressing room another quick change, and a wave a nausea started. Sipped a bit of my shake and started back out, dizziness hit me fast and I felt like I would pass out. Waited in line, had to run back out the vomiting began, recovered in time to make my first walk out (big class). When were lining up for group comparisons, one of the promoters knew I was pretty bad off (they know me pretty well and I didn't look right .... I'm fairly bubbly at comp). I told him I was really dizzy he said come back off if you get too bad. I insisted on going on of course and mid way through knew I was losing it, things were going black so I was able to more or less walk off stage and fell right into his arms.

He helped me to the hall way, they have an EMT on site, weak pulse, very dizzy ... they gave me a bit of gatorade to sip on and was going to monitor me. I told them I would be OK (really thought I could pull it together). Started to get sick again went into the back to vomit and from there only remember laying on the tile floors by the back lockers. My daughter bless her heart gave me stayed with me, I told her I just needed to rest.

This was around pretty early, after the show they came looking for me, and I was completely passed out by then.... don't know for how long, I was in and out and they carried me outside for air. The EMT and a nurse was there but I was going in and out and they were getting only occasional responses from me. So the called an Ambulance, I only remember bits and pieces until I came too around 5:30.

My daughter stayed with me every step of the way and was able to tell them information about me for the medical team. She was cool, calm and collected...... sounds like she takes after me after all I am very proud of her. They wanted to keep me over night, but I didn't want to stay so I was released around 10:30. They were able to stabilize me and got lots of IV fluid in me, apparently I was vomiting on and off (they were able to stop it early on).... what I don't know, since I was comp!!!! I was complaining of a head ache they said when I was coming to so they gave me some meds in the IV, BIG MISAKE, I am very sensitive to meds even tylenol C knocks me out, so I was out again and gave them another scare.

My mother and father were kind enough to drive up (3 hours) to come get us and my car. I got home around 3:30 AM last eve. I cancelled my shoot for today and am cancelling the 2 days after I am supposed to headline. For the next few days I am basically going to do nothing but recover (a very strange concept for me ... doing nothing).

I would like to thank the entire staff of the show, their EMT, the nurse that helped and several of the BBer's who are also my friends who helped me ever step of the way and a BIG thank you to my very brave little girl, who had to care for me and make all the calls to everyone, get my things together etc.... she is growing up to be quite the young lady.

Lesson Learned: With all the stresses I had put on my body and since I repress so much, mentally my body simply decided it could not take one more thing. I will space out my work load a bit, make a few changes in other areas and finally, If I have weeks in a row of the extreme high stress things thrown out me, I may rethink doing a comp, which takes so much out of me. I am supposed to have 3 in a row in Aug. I play it by ear, but may cancel one.

My throat is really swollen today and I ache pretty badly, but otherwise am fine. This could have turned out much worse (of course the other events this week could have as well). So, I'll be OK, but have some thinking to do not in regards to my training and competing (that is my love), but as far as the everything else I am taking on. Maybe just maybe, I actually accept some one's help every once and a while.

Wow! So what was it? Just major deyhdration... I'm very curious what they said happened.

You definitely sound like you are pushing yourself too hard girl! Our bodies can only handle so much... I can relate to how extreme your training and diet are and I think that you may have to come to the realization that there's a reason competitors don't do many back to back competitions... because most bodies simply can't handle that much stress. A competitor that comes to mind is Jodi Miller...figure competitor turned bodybuilder, but she had the same drive and determination as you, and finally had to face that her body coudln't handle the amount of competitions she had laid out for herself, but she really struggled with times that she knew she needed to cut back. I'm thinking maybe you should look at 1 comp every 3 months with at least a 2 to 3 week break in between prep?? Just a thought.

I know you'll bounce back, you were just pushing yourself way too hard. Hope you feel better really soon and thanks for posting.

Melissa
p.s. On another note, I saw your post on Vegan Fitness about your daughters activism. If she doesen't have a website, I would love to help her create a lil one on Google web page creator. Its free and I know the program inside and out, so if she ever wants to get in touch with me, I could help her have her own website. I get really inspired by kids who are trying to make a difference so that's why I'd love to help her

I think if I had been only training and doing the comps I would have been fine. All the shoots, headlines (especially take a lot out of me) and most of all being attacked twice in one day and having to have security constantly with me anymore (people waiting for me in parking lots and such) plus personal life stress..... problem is I don't I don't "feel" so apparently repressing is bad. I also have 4 children to care for and a home of course, and have had to take in a series of other's children lately while their parents are off on some binge. I have been homeless and hungry before. I can't turn them away ever, so I always want them to know they have a place to be safe, even if it's just for the night. I think the combination with all that is going on has been a lot on me.

What's so funny is, if it was any of my clients I would have been irate if they went to comp after weeks like that. But myself...... I push til I can't go any harder. So funny how we are much harder on ourselves! lol

Denise I could never be irate with you because you are you and thats why I never tried to talk you out of doing the show only just to say do you want to pull out very quetly lol.
Knowing you as I do you will bounce back to the good this will only make you stronger and at last maybe understand why I keep going on at you to get your sleep and rest times in.
ROBBBIExxxx

Tomorrow is cardio ab day. I will try to add a protein shake to the AM meal, this will bring my protein and cal intake where I want it right now. Been easing back in since I have not been hungry and really not doing a lot (recovering). But will need the cals & protein now that I am training again. I am approx 6 weeks out to my next comp, but have shoots, etc in the interim.

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