If you’ve been around a little while, you’ve probably heard quite a few references to Time T. In case you haven’t heard about time T yet, here are some of the typical things that scientists say will happen at time T:

Economics: At time T, the original investment of $10,000 will have tripled.

Physics: At time T, body B of mass M will collide with planet P, ending all life on earth.

Psychology: At time T, reading The Flying News will result in a sense of euphoria.

Physiology: At time T, the increase in average human body mass will slow the rotation of the planet, leading to longer weekends.

Applied Psychology: At time T, woman W and man M will fall in love while discussing The Flying News TFN, get married, and live happily ever after.

Food Science: At time T, doughnut D will be perfectly cooked. Remove from fat, allow to cool, then eat.

Applied Food Science: At time T, take the cream pie CP and launch it at an angle A of 43.56° with a velocity V of 243 mm/s. CP will collide with victim V with a force of not more than 2.1 kg·m/s3, causing general amusement.

Applied Legal Science:

Judge: Are you willing to answer the prosecutor P’s question about your whereabouts at time T? Accused: At time T, I was performing action A at location L. Prosecutor: You see that the accused admits his guilt. Defense: Your honor, I object.