Friday, February 1, 2013

Sitcom Queen Patricia Heaton Officially Lists in Hancock Park

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It was almost a year ago that Your Mama relayed the celebrity real estate scuttlebutt about two-time Emmy-winning sitcom queen Patricia Heaton (The Middle, Everybody Loves Raymond) and her part-time actor/producer hubby David Hunt (Liz and Dick, Mad Men, 24) quietly making their Los Angeles (CA) estate available off-market with a price tag of around—we were told by two separate and generally very well-informed sources—$12,000,000.

Well, chick-a-diddles, the off-market market apparently didn't respond so well to the rumored eight-figure asking price but thanks to eagle-eyed informant Rick Wrinklebottom Your Mama has learned that Mister Hunt and Missus Heaton's expensively renovated, painstakingly restored and much-published Elmer Grey-designed mansion in L.A.'s historic and star-studded Hancock Park 'hood* popped up on the open market with an arguably much more reasonable and realistic asking price of $8,295,000.

The walled, gated and security camera equipped corner property—published in the December 2009 issue of Architectural Digest—encompasses two contiguous parcels that total 1.14 acres in the affluent heart of Hancock Park. The mansion was built in 1923 for Merritt Adamson and Rhoda Rindge Adamson whose mother founded the famed Malibu Potteries company in the mid-1920s, hence all the authentically spectacular tile-work throughout the residence.

Listing information indicates the elegantly proportioned main mansion measures in at 8,398 square feet with a total of six bedrooms, five bathrooms and seven fireplaces. The inset double front doors are framed by carved wood pilasters and swing open into a spacious and somewhat oddly angled foyer and stair hall with slightly disturbing butter-colored walls, gleaming hardwood floors, an Old-Timey crystal chandelier and an elegant staircase with carved wood and wrought iron banisters.

There are roomy formal living and dining rooms, of course, the former with a fireplace and lots of richly textured upholstered furniture and the later a very sophisticated decorative mash-up with more than a twinge of Chinoiserie. There's also a low-key library/den with painted paneled walls, built-in book-shelves, a corner fireplace and at least two sets of French doors that connect to two of the many patios and covered verandas that surround the house.

An loggia-like billiards room with sitting area makes an exceptionally long run along the rear of the residence's lower level and is lavishly done up with intricate patterned tile flooring, a stenciled exposed wood beam ceiling and a fireplace stenciled with a pair of peacock-like birds. At least six arched French doors with elaborate iron grill work open the room to the entertainment terrace that overlooks the main part of the back yard.

Miz Heaton is best known for portraying frazzled middle-class housewives with cluttered kitchens on the boob toob but in real life her swanky eat-in kitchen is clearly that of a wealthy woman and includes all the commercial-grade stainless steel appliances money can buy and a butcher block work island and a hideous and menacing looking pot rack that frazzles Your Mama's delicate decorative nerves. We know some of the children think pot racks are charming and convenient but we think they're dust catching noggin knockers.

Anyhoo, there are at least two other family room type spaces with large televisions which sorta makes sense since Mister Hunt and Miz Heaton have four young-ish children and giving them each a t.v. to watch probably saves a lot of unnecessary and annoying yelling between them. One of the family rooms has a corner fireplace and a grid of heavy wood beams on the ceiling and the slightly larger other one is architecturally blessed with a steeply pitched and hand-stenciled wood ceiling.

In addition to the four family/guest bedrooms plus a staff suite, the main mansion includes a celebrity-sized master suite with a private sitting room (with fireplace and two wrought iron railed Juliet balconies), a spacious and surprisingly Frenchified bedroom (also with fireplace) and sun-flooded bathroom with double sinks, claw-footed soaking tub and separate glass and subway tile shower stall. Presumably there is adequate closet space for the sorts of folks who own eight and some million dollar mansions.

A side-street gate slides open to a smallish motor court and detached four-car garage. Atop the garages there's a luxurious guest house/screening room fully outfitted with a vintage tiled bathroom, carved stone fireplace, pitched and exposed wood beam ceiling, built-in book shelves, French doors all around the room that open to wrought iron railed Juliet balconies and—natch—a state-of-the-art projection system.

Landscaping snobs will certainly recommend that Hunt-Heatons hire a new gardeners staff since listing photographs show the grounds that surround the house are extensive but a smidgen unkempt. The hedges aren't clipped quite as crisply as maybe they should be, there's too much grass coming up between the tiles in the courtyard between the main house and the garage, the soccer pitch-sized lawn looks like it could use some water and the shrubbery around the lighted sport court looks, well, like a hot landscaping mess.

But for the old-fashioned slide, we do rather like the simplicity and geometric elegance of the flagstone terrace surrounded swimming pool that's overlooked by a pergola-shaded pavilion with outdoor fireplace and changing room/bathroom so that wet and wild children need not traipse through the house when it comes time for them to use the terlit.

We're not sure what Mister and Missus Hunt-Heaton's future real estate plans are but we do know that the couple maintains a multi-parcel property just outside of Cleveland, OH in Miz Heaton's hometown of Bay Village.

And we also know they won't be moving to the multi-level West Hollywood (CA) condo the couple picked up in March 2007 for $1,145,000 and, after more than three years on and off the market, finally unloaded in October 2012 for $865,000, at steep $270,000 loss not counting upkeep, carrying costs and real estate fees.

*Your Mama already knows that some of the children will gripe and groan about how Hancock Park is riddled with crime compared to some of the other uppity zip codes in L.A. like 90210, 90077 and 90272 but the fact is the centrally located neighborhood has always attracted its fair share of wealthy doctors, lawyers, businessman and Tinseltowners with the dough—if not the inclination—to live in one of those other, less crime-riddled zip codes. Some of the other notably named folks in Hancock Park include (but are far from limited to) actor Sean Hayes, celebrity gossip Janet Charleton, actor Matt Bomer and his publicist man-mate Simon Halls, t.v. writer/producer Shonda Rhimes, actress Kathy Bates, producer John Wells and financier Bruce Raben.listing photos: PostRAIN Productions for Coldwell Banker

This is a great house and Hancock Park is a great neighborhood. The crime issue can be managed, if you can remember to TURN ON your alarm system and you subscribe to the neighborhood patrol(SSA Security), that only uses off-duty or retired LAPD cops.

Dear lord that is a lot of beige. Great bones but needs an interior overhaul. Done with respect and class, it could be amazing. The corner doesn't bother me that much, and I'd take the old school grandeur and class of Hancock Park any day over the new money BH.

Lil' gay boy, as always, is completely correct and says everything I planned to, so I'll just second his comment. My only other observation is that either Ms. Heaton or her hubby really like peacocks, which I don't believe means they're fans of Flannery O'Connor.

It's an incredible home. I happened to love the peacock motif on the outside fountain. That being said, decor is a little too busy; however her pieces are awesome. I would have so much fun living in this home.....sigh!