Stepping on the Spiritual Path

Greetings! I’m not sure about the substantiveness of my letter, but I really want to share what’s below.

I now live in Poland, but I used to live in Ukraine. Once around 1998 I felt I was missing something and started to search. There were all possible religions on my way, and I didn’t even imagine that my friends and acquaintances are so “differently believing”. I was baptized in the Catholic Church.

There are no coincidences in life. My son went to a music school, and I met his teacher Alice who was a follower of Olga Sauliak’s school in Kiev. She already passed that school, and so she distributed their knowledge among us, those who were searching for something spiritual. She’s Orthodox herself. Once I was going to a meeting with her and found a little cross. She said that it was a sign and I needed to go to a church. I didn’t attend any churches then, so she arranged a meeting with Father Sergey and asked him to re-baptize me. You see, something inside me was resisting, and I didn’t go to him, for that would provoke a burst of anger towards me. I was not ready, and that woman said: “Ask God, He’ll give you an answer”. The answer came as a feeling. It lasted for just a moment, but I could never feel that again afterwards.

Previously, when I wasn’t familiar with Anastasia Novykh’s books, I recalled that story from time to time. And now I have read them all, several times each, and every time I find something new, exciting and native for me. I cannot overcome the animal nature so far. It presses me so strongly that I am unable to do even the simplest practice. I understand and know everything, and I pray, I ask for help. Hints always come, although it seems to me I got entangled in something.

I rest from thoughts only when I read the books or watch Igor Danilov’s interviews. I understand everything in my mind, but I cannot step on the spiritual path, it’s so difficult. I know that mind is a stumbling block which is impossible to pass round or jump over, but I do have a great desire to do so.

I will be happy to read comments. Maybe, someone will give me some tips. I apologize for mistakes and hope you’ll correct them (I am hurrying). Good luck.