Different high schools have different traditions but this is how it worked in my high school. I went to a very large public school and there were 2000 students and 4 grades (9, 10, 11, 12). There was a homecoming dance every fall, usually in October, that took place on the Saturday night of homecoming weekend. That was the weekend that most graduates were supposed to come back and cheer their football team and other sports, but very few did. This dance took place in the school cafeteria. You wore cocktail attire and dates usually went out to dinner tete-a-tete (in couples, not groups) before the dance. Students from all grades were allowed to attend. They could also bring a date from another school if they didn't want to go with someone from our school.

Prom was also a dance, generally in mid-May. But it was fancier. The attire was formal and it did not take place on the school grounds. A ballroom, event center, museum or country club was rented and decorated. I have heard that other schools have a separate Junior prom and Senior prom. At our school, it was one prom. You could be a Junior (grade 11) or Senior (grade 12). Juniors purchased tickets and Seniors got in free. In this way, it was said that the Juniors were hosting. If you invited someone, they could be just about any age and attend any school. At my school, it was still mostly couples. I didn't know people who went in groups, although, you didn't have to go with someone you were romantically involved with. I went with a different male friend each of my two prom years.

It was somewhat of a tradition to lose your virginity to your prom date and so some parents would organize something called "After Prom" which was a lot of fun and very informal. This took place after the prom dance. This was to encourage couples to go have fun at After Prom and not play scrabble at a motel, friend's house with parents who weren't around, or most often a large Cadillac. After Prom had bounce houses, fake casino games, decorations, music, etc.

For some students the night went like: 1) go to fancy restaurant with your date and maybe another couple or two, 2) drive a parent's car to Prom and dance 3) change out of your ball gown or tux into blue jeans and go to after prom 4) by then the sun was coming up and go have breakfast and then 5) head to your own homes.

For other students, the night went like: 1) go to fancy restaurant with your date, 2) drive in a rented limousine to prom and dance 3) leave early and find someplace to play scrabble 4) head to your own home and tell your parents that you went to after prom and had breakfast.

Our high school was very cliquish. The social groups didn't tend to mingle. People from various groups tended to completely ignore people from other social groups. I don't even think they said "excuse me" if they needed to pass each other in the hallway or bathroom.

At my school, prom was for couples. There wasn't any rules about the tickets, and I seem to remember some people going in groups. It was a large school and just shy of 1000 kids that graduated in my class. If you are trying to wrap your mind around the not-socializing thing, think of prom as Big_Fancy_Expensive_Date. Cling-On inserting herself at the prom, is like someone setting themselves down at your table in a restaurant, and in this case, the restaurant is Chez Expensive. Even the few people that went in a group, it was a group date like a bunch of friends going to a movie together. You might say Hi to people you recognize, but otherwise you talk to the people on your 'date'.

I don't know if they still do this, but back in my day you registered your dress. As you walked into the store they asked which prom. They kept records of which dresses would be worn at which proms. They would not sell two identical dresses to the same prom. I mention this as another explanation that prom isn't just a dance or party.

Our prom was a stupidly huge deal. We had a fundraiser where your class had its turn to sell candy -- at the end of 3 weeks, you had to turn in the money whether it sold or not. Your profit went toward defraying the cost of your future prom ticket. Each grade had a different sales period so there was no overlap (and a constant candy supply!). I only sold one year before I decided that I was a terrible salesperson and probably wouldn't have a prom date anyway ("Oh, woe is me!" says pubescent Jmarvellous.) There were also weekly pizza fundraisers for that year's seniors.

Tickets were, as can be surmised, pretty expensive. My boyfriend did not want to go, but another boy asked me. I think, with our combined paltry fundraising, he still paid over $150 for two tickets. He also got us linked to a "group" and a limo -- six other couples, mostly in relationships. We went to a fancy dinner in our gowns and tuxes and had a very tame coed slumber party and breakfast at friends' homes. Many of my girlfriends went in groups of all or mostly women; almost all of the 600+ attendees (class of 600) went in a group of some sort. It was in a hotel ballroom with fancy ice sculptures and finger food, but it was really just a bunch of goofy kids goofing off in their fanciest.

The other big school events were homecoming (all ages, semiformal), Sadie Hawkins (all ages, girls ask guys and couples dress the same), and Project Graduation (seniors and some dates, the night of graduation, all attendees wear identical T-shirts, lots of door prizes, held at a games place overnight).

I don't know if they still do this, but back in my day you registered your dress. As you walked into the store they asked which prom. They kept records of which dresses would be worn at which proms. They would not sell two identical dresses to the same prom. I mention this as another explanation that prom isn't just a dance or party.

When I went to school, the girls who took sewing classes made their own unique prom dresses. By the time they took the senior year advance class, they were able to make such gorgeous dresses. As it got closer to prom, there were so many dressmaker dummies around the Home Ec room and the rest of us were able to see the progression of the dresses.

Prom is the end-of-the year dance, usually for seniors and juniors. For seniors, it is one of the "last hurrahs" before graduation so it is a big deal. Prom is usually very expensive to go to as it is usually held off campus.

Homecoming is associated with a homecoming football game. People who graduated from the school "come home" to see the game, etc. There is usually a dance but all grade levels go and it is much less formal than the prom.

My senior class was 998 students. Our prom was the only dance the school offered, ever, and only seniors could buy tickets (but each senior could buy 1 or 2, and they could bring anyone they wanted). It probably ended up being about 1,000-1,200 people at the prom. Of course people sectioned off into their friend groups - there is no way to socialize with 1,000 people.

Really it wasn't so different then the lunch room or the front of the school before and after school - everyone was there, sure people bounced from group to group a bit, but for the most part people hung out with their friends, whether their 'group' was 3 close friends or two dozen loose friends.

My senior class was around 500 people, and the prom was the big dance for seniors. Only seniors can buy tickets, but they can bring guests who are not seniors. The prom itself ended up being about 700-800 people. For the most part people stick to loose groups - the ones they normally socialize it. The prom is normally a fancier dance at a hotel.

We also had a homecoming dance and a winter formal that are both open to all grades. The homecoming dance was held at the school gym and people don't really get dressed up other than nicer casual clothes. The winter formal was more dressed up, but it was also just at the school gym.