Talk sincerely about your feelings

11/20/2016 - 21:09

Do not we all want a positive experience of close, friendly, trusting relationship? It is necessary to learn in the family. If a person does not know how to talk about what he cares about, a worry cares, unspoken accumulates inside, and then expressed in the conflict. The essence of the conflict, as a rule, depends on a lack of understanding the other person, because the occasion itself disproportionate power of our explosion. But we really did it cannot explain, and continue to accumulate grievances, while again "valve" did not derail. To avoid this, we will learn to talk to each other about your feelings. After all, it is our closest person and he wishes us only the best and we should give it a "feedback" that he knew what we lack. Or when he gave us joy, we must again give him a "feedback" to let him know how pleased we have with his action. If we are dissatisfied with something, we need to say so as not to offend, not to bring in a partner state of defense. It is not difficult. The basic principle is to use "I-messages". That is to say, not "you lazy, you are not earning enough," and "I'm worried about whether we have enough money for an apartment, if the hostess will raise the rent." Anyone can learn this way to express their feelings.

Never think about cheating

The idea of cheating – is nearly cheating. It is a step on the path that leads to divorce. In those families, which have kept the love, both spouses are closely related not only to his actions, but also to the thoughts, dreams, and opinions. That's the one step way the human mind is from "innocent" look at the beautiful body before the tragedy of child abandonment. Sooner or later, in a life of every family there is the following situation, and in many families are more than once. Love troubles have passed, love has taken quiet nature. And suddenly one spouse attends a spark of new love. Or attends a passion, and we think that this is love. How to be? After all, we said above that the spark of God you want to save? Firstly, adultery, affair, no one saved from a spark of sin in any case, so can only be considered an option of divorce and new marriage. But it turns out is not bringing started before reaching the perfect love with the first person not to complete the house, we destroy it, and since we want to build a new foundation? What are the chances that at the same stage of construction or even earlier we did not visit the new "Spark", and again we destroy the unfinished? Chances are high. Sociologists estimate that second marriages are less strong than the first, the third than the second. This is not surprising. One husband, one wife for life - this is the norm of human life. Deliberate violation of the norms is still no one way to be happy.

Do not lose 'feelings for each other – the maintain intimacy

The "spark" or passion, can visit you in the marriage should be regarded as a test. This question, posed by life, we say, "I want to love my wife and all my life to be with her and my children." This is evidenced by the people who lived through such an experience. Spouses must maintain intimacy on three levels - the physical, mental and spiritual. Body level - it's not just sex. It's a whole different culture touch that sometimes speaks louder than words. By itself, you stay in the same room and sex life has not provided you maintain a sense of intimacy. Sometimes, the couple together watching television, playing computer games together to solve some domestic issues, but little talk at some more subtle, but so important for people who love level and so gradually drifting apart. A particularly important role in the separation of many couples is TV. As writer Ann Landers said, "Television is proof that people are willing to watch anything they want, just to not look at each other."