2yr old and mean words / raspberries :(

DD has just turned two, a few months back she picked up the word 'stupid' from her older brother (who rarely said it but she caught on to it none the less) and used it to describe every and all frustrations in her life... I know the words of a barely 2yr old should be taken with a grain of salt but man alive if anyone else in this world had spoken to me like that day after day I'd be very justified in have a word about their manners!!!

Yesterday she blew a raspberry at me in the same manner, frustrated and upset, and today it has continued and I'm getting increasingly upset by this behaviour.

Help!

I tried ignoring as per the majority of advice (both stupid and raspberries) but its making NO difference. I've tried 'that isn't nice, that hurts mummy's feelings' she doesn't give a hoot. I tried putting her away from me when she did it 'when you are ready to use nice words come and see me'. NOTHING makes any difference. All the oldies were disaprooving in the supermarket this morning I just wanted to ask them what I'm supposed to do, do they expect me to smack her or something, I just don't know how to get through to her, she is so young she really doesn't understand punishments or link them to the 'crime'. Altho after having a total meltdown at nap time today and saying stupid mummy and raspberrying at me I said no story, children who do X and Y don't get stories. Mostly cos I was so upset with her I just wanted to get out of the room, she had a huge cry for a couple of minutes and went to sleep.

Part of me thinks some kids bite, some scratch and lash out physically, this behaviour is just a version of that immaturity... surely... maybe... probably... its just so embarrassing and heartbreaking to tell the truth.

I know you've tried it, but I really think ignoring is the way forward. She is too young for normal discipline techniques to be effective, and the problem with 'that upsets mummy' is that she is doing it to get a reaction so you are giving her what she wants.

I agree with Tumbletumble. My 2yo likes to say 'Naughty Mummy' a lot - I just ignore it and he soon gives up if he doesn't get a reaction. I think that sort of thing is par for the course at this age and it is just a phase. I think at this age they don't fully understand cause and effect so most 'punishments' are useless.

When she does this, immediately take away her favourite toy, dummy, whatever - anything that she really, really likes. Do it immediately and explain why you are doing it. Do not give it back until an appropriate time has passed. Expect tears.

I'm afraid I'd find blowing raspberries funny, indeed I almost certainly blow raspberries to my 2 year old, and may well do it to a random 2 year old I met that I needed to entertain. Surprised it's thought of as bad - it's just interaction when having conversations is really hard work!

The Stupid - does that depend on the context - when I make a mistake or trip over or do something wrong I'll call myself stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if DD used it back to me when I did it again another time. That's distinct from using it to be mean though, even though it would be rude from an adult, it's just a toddler articulating their thoughts and understanding of what I was doing. But then it sounds to me that your idea of manners in a toddler are very different to mine, Ignoring is I'm sure the way to go.

I would also add regarding raspberries - that she is two and is learning to say new words and learning different mouth movements and sounds she can make with her mouth. I don't think its a bad thing.

And the word "stupid" like FredFredGeorge said needs to be taken in context. And if it seems like it gets a reaction from you, she might start using it more. I would either ignore, or make up another silly word and make it a game.