Mom’s Pamper Break

By Patricia Morgan

While watching Oprah on television one day, I heard Dr. Phil McGraw make an
impactful comment. He basically said that parents, particularly mothers who have a
tendency to martyr for their families, have an obligation to take care of their
children’s caregiver. As parents, we are duty-bound to spend adequate time
tending to our own well being. Not only is it not selfish, it is essential for our
physical, mental and emotional health. It is impossible to pour from an empty
teapot. If the caregiver stresses out or becomes ill, there is no one left to look after
anyone.

Parents are the model of how to manage the adult years. We provide the example
of how to be successful women or men and how to create and maintain healthy
marriages and family life. We do ourselves and our children a disservice by poorly
managing first by our self care responsibilities and second, if married, our primary
love relationship. We need to take time out from children focused days to nurture
our own identity separate from being Mom or Pop and also take time to cherish our
main squeeze relationship.

There are reams of beauty salons, spas, magazines, television shows and books
steeped with ideas for self care, pampering and couple enrichment. Who has time
to amass all this information? Here are some quick ideas:

2. Do something each day to nurture yourself physically (take a walk), mentally
(read the paper), emotionally (call a friend) and spiritually (meditate). Do
your chosen activity for a few minutes or much longer.

3. Julia Cameron, in The Artist’s Way, suggests that we create a personal and
special space, even if it is a window sill, where we can come back to
ourselves.

4. Nap when you can. Research studies report that napping increases energy
and focus.

7. Discover what pleases your eyes, ears, taste, social needs and creative
needs. Then make space for them. Alice Koller said “Perhaps loving
something is the only starting place there is for making your life your own.”

8. Light a candle, daydream, write in a journal, soak in a bubble bath or get a
massage.

9. Let the answering machine attend to messages.

10.Pay for child care or trade with a friend to free up time for the above.

“Mommy and Daddy Time” Breaks

1. Go on, at least, a monthly “date.” Take turns deciding the outing.

2. Daily greet each other with hug, kiss and “I’m glad you’re home.”

3. Regularly have five to 10 minutes pillow talk.

4. Have one mutually favourite television show to watch while cuddling.

5. For a high couple enhancement break attend the Banff Couples Conference.