It's a quiet news day in the NFL, so let's go ahead and check in on Rob Gronkowski, the Patriots tight end who is almost certainly shirtless as you read this.

Gronk took a brief respite from his months-longSummer of Gronkpre-party to drop by The Jim Rome Show, where he was asked to describe his ideal spouse. You're not gonna believe it, but his answer was ridiculous.

Perhaps in Gronk's dream scenario his wife is one of those spam commenters who makes $80 per hour working from home? Just a theory. Gronkowski was also asked which female celebrity in a red bathing suit he would like to be rescued by if given the opportunity.