Thursday, April 17, 2008

Today, I've reached 33 weeks. So 7 more to go, if I deliver on the due date, which is merely an estimate so who knows. Several times I've thought, 'well if i deliver early...', 'if he comes early...' but it just occurred to me, i could be overdue. My friend K who lives in NC was due April 12. we talked that day - no action she says. we talked on the 13th and again no action. i started having nightmares of my own about the kid staying in my belly way past my DD of June 5th! yikes. K gave birth only two days late, on the 14th and she handled 'being overdue' much better than i would have. My obgyn tells me that anything two weeks AFTER my DD is still normal. and they wouldn't induce before then unless necessary. I think, so you're telling me that as of June 22 this kid might still be in there just chillin?!?

In the past week i've noticed my mood has shifted and i'm just down and out. Maybe i'm just tired and worn down. tired of being pregnant. all very possible. i really thought with the nice spring like weather having arrived, i would feel energetic and in high spirits. But i have no energy and am just down. I'm sure it will pass... or hope so cause i don't want another 7 weeks of feeling like a complete slug.

I realize that my whole pregnant blog is a list of complaints lol. but i'm wanting to be honest for everyone else just as much as myself. i want to remember what i was really thinking/feeling while pregnant. While wrapped up in the massive amounts of love and bliss with my new son... i'm sure at some point i'll think maybe we should have another. THIS is for me to read, reminding myself of the reality and saying to ME - do you really want to do this again?? really??

Monday, April 7, 2008

As of this Thursday, I will have 8 weeks left. 8 weeks more of... being pregnant, wearing the same clothes over and over, lathering my stomach in anti stretch cream, getting up 5 times a night to pee, feeling famishly hungry when i wake up at 5am, not drinking coffee, wine, or beer, not eating sushi, having dozens of folks ask me daily how i feel, going to the dr all the time, feeling like i don't have the energy to even walk the dogs, constant thirst, a dying need for fruit smoothies, water ice, and cinnamon rolls, leg cramps in the middle of the night that cause me to jump out of bed spouting curse words of all kinds, feeling the kid inside me kicking and swirling at all hours, my belly button being an outie instead of its usually innie state, not wearing heels, scouring the cute 'regular' stores for pants/skirts with an elastic stretchy waist, seeing my weight go up up up, loving the smell of paint fumes, gasoline, sawdust, and basements, and wondering if i'm actually ready for this... am i? i'm still on the fence yet my fate is sealed. not optimal timing obviously. this is normal. so i hear. right?

i've been feeling so much better sine i hit 21 weeks as far as sickness. yet i have not enjoyed being pregnant - at all. i hear woman say "i loved being pregnant!". Huh? who are these people? I've also heard "it flies by!" Huh? it does? i feel like i've been pregnant for well over a year yet I have two months left... its the all consuming 'thing' that takes over from the moment the sperm and egg meet. should i plan that? i'm just not sure how i'll feel. well i can't wear that then, so no point. well next year, we'll have the baby. oh well need this for the baby. thats too close to the due date. should we. shouldn't we. blah blah blah. so those of you thinking of having a baby, don't think you can just live your life as you normally would up until the day the kid pops out. Impossible. No chance. Its not a bad thing necessarily - its just reality. Your life is already changed and is still changing, all while your pregnant. So if you're still wanting to live it up a little, travel, remodel, take some classes, get a new car, etc - do it before you conceive your kid. you'll be so glad you did.

On another note, feeling the kid move inside me is fascinating. To fully comprehend that a little baby, another human being, is inside MY body is so difficult... yet truly an amazing miracle. the process of creating another life and how God molded this process is baffling. The kid moves a lot these days... when I'm/he's hungry (same thing right?), when i'm at my desk, when i lay down to sleep. He has taken to jabbing a knee or elbow (something!) into my bladder at unexpected times, causing me to think i'm about to pee myself. then he must chuckle and move, giving me some relief, thinking ha, i gave her a scare. His foot came out near my rib yesterday - this is the farthest up and to the side he's been thus far. I hope this is an indication he will eventually fall into the head down position as needed. But I feel that he tumbles in there, in circles, back and forth. Telling his body parts apart is an impossible task. So who knows. With his hyper active self, he may jostle all over till the final day.

Lastly, its hard to imagine him getting any bigger - yet he must. With a little over 8 weeks left, he still is gaining weight, meaning taking up more room in there. Where else can he go? there is no room left in the Inn there kid. and i don't have a stable.