Learn how to quash unsettling feelings about skipping workouts, eating dessert and more

Learn how to quash unsettling feelings about skipping workouts, eating dessert and more

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Don’t Feel Bad!

Don’t Feel Bad!

Guilt literally weighs on you. According to a study in the journal PLOS ONE, subjects reported feeling physically heavier when they thought about past unethical acts than when they recalled ethical acts. So take a load off! Here’s your permission slip to stop feeling badly about these 10 common guilt-inducers.

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1. Obsessing

1. Obsessing

If you worry about whether you left the iron on after leaving home or wonder if you should wash your hands yet again, you’re actually quite normal. A new study in the Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders uncovered that these unwanted thoughts pop up in 94% of people. “But feeling guilty about the thoughts increases their intensity,” says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, author of the upcoming book, Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crushing your Inner Critic and Creating the Life You Love. “Simply acknowledging ‘I'm having an obsessive thought, and it’s normal’ reduces its power.”

Don’t Feel Bad!

Guilt literally weighs on you. According to a study in the journal PLOS ONE, subjects reported feeling physically heavier when they thought about past unethical acts than when they recalled ethical acts. So take a load off! Here’s your permission slip to stop feeling badly about these 10 common guilt-inducers.

Getty Images

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1. Obsessing

If you worry about whether you left the iron on after leaving home or wonder if you should wash your hands yet again, you’re actually quite normal. A new study in the Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders uncovered that these unwanted thoughts pop up in 94% of people. “But feeling guilty about the thoughts increases their intensity,” says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, author of the upcoming book, Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crushing your Inner Critic and Creating the Life You Love. “Simply acknowledging ‘I'm having an obsessive thought, and it’s normal’ reduces its power.”

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2. Not Eating Many Mini Meals

You’ve heard experts recommend grazing throughout the day instead of sitting down for three big meals. Problem is, “packing mini meals and having the leisurely time every three hours to eat them is not possible for most people.” says registered dietitian Lisa DeFazio. Besides, if weight loss is your goal, eating more often may not help you achieve it, according to a study in TheBritish Journal of Nutrition. And the pressure of trying to come up with all those meals can add to the problem, since the stress hormone cortisol is linked with increased belly fat.

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3. Indulging in Dessert

Treating yourself to the occasional slice of chocolate mousse cake should not make you guilt ridden, says DeFazio. “When you constantly deprive yourself, you end up binging on sweets,” she points out. Monthly PMS symptoms may make it particularly hard to stay away from treats, so just eat the cake, urges DeFazio. “Enjoy it and move on without worrying about the fact you ate it.”

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4. Being an Introvert

When all your extrovert friends go out together, feel free to stay home with a book, says Dr. Lombardo. “Introverts often think they should be more outgoing. But feeling guilty about being an introvert is like feeling guilty about being left-handed. Not everyone likes hanging with the life of the party.” If you prefer calm one-on-one interaction, embrace it. Doing what’s comfortable for you reduces stress, and that can lower your blood pressure and boost your immune system, says Dr. Lombardo.

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5. Not Being a Good Enough Friend

“Increased media attention on friendship makes people more aware of the importance of being a good friend,” says Irene S. Levine, PhD, a professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine in New York City. Remember that because friends are different people, there will be times when one falls short of meeting the needs of another. If you constantly feel like you aren’t good enough for one pal, she may be too demanding. And your well-being needs to come first. If the feeling occurs with other friendships, though, you may not be giving enough. Take time to pinpoint the problem to make the relationship better for both of you, suggests Dr. Levine.

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6. Dreaming About Cheating on Your Spouse

Whether it’s sex with your boss, a celebrity or a friend, “you may believe that on some level you want to jump into bed with that person,” says Dr. Lombardo. “But a sex dream may just mean you have unresolved issues.” For example, if your boss is the star, perhaps you want to make changes in your job. Rather than feel guilty, Dr. Lombardo suggests asking yourself, “What is my subconscious trying to tell me?” Or simply remind yourself that one fantasy doesn’t equal real feelings.

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7. Sleeping In

Snoozing beyond your normal wakeup time can shift your body’s circadian rhythms and lead to sleep deprivation. And that’s linked with obesity, increased risk of heart disease and other health issues. Still, weekends seem made for sleeping in! If you rest an hour or more past your usual wakeup time, but have no problem falling asleep at your normal time the following night, enjoy your guilty pleasure, says Peter A. Fotinakes, MD, medical director of St. Joseph Hospital in Orange, CA. Sleeping a full eight hours may even boost brain health and prevent loss of brain tissue, according to a Swedish study.

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8. Not Stretching After Workouts

Research shows stretching increases your range of motion and flexibility, but it’s the easiest thing to cut when you’re trying to get out of the gym. Don’t sweat it, since you can stretch throughout the day, says Nara Yoon, a physical therapist in Manhasset, NY. “Take mini breaks from your work and stretch your upper body, hips and sides while sitting on the chair. And try simple leg stretches while standing to brush your teeth or wash dishes.”

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9. Skipping Workouts During Vacation

No need to turn your getaway into a guilt trip. “If you exercise daily or almost all days, it’s good to give your body a one to two-day break once in a while to recover,” explains Yoon. Plus, you can always get your heart pumping with vacation activities, such as running or walking on the beach, swimming and playing beach volleyball. Even if you opt to just chill out the entire time, give yourself permission for a complete rest and recovery, physically as well as mentally, says Yoon. “Once you’re back, return to your regular routine as soon as possible to avoid muscle atrophy.”