Tag Archives: healing the past

When you are trying to get someone to hear, acknowledge and/or validate your feelings it’s such a graceful place to be in if at the same time you can offer the same in return. Not everything is as it seems and of course not all views are the same. If you are unwilling to allow any room for someone to express and also be heard then how can you possibly justify expecting that from them in return? Communication from the foundation of love is truly the only way to resolve, any other mindset will block that doorway.

Even when the only option always seems like you are the one being the bigger person, be that person anyway, it keeps your soul clear of all effects that can negatively impact your state of being, living and existing. When you think of the personal teachings that are your soul’s existence, your own ideology, does it resonate with or against you when you aren’t allowing compassion? I think your answer to this question is yours alone and one that will help direct or re-direct you back onto the path toward your personal destiny, we all have one.

No one soul is better than another but your ego self and the energy you bring can change the direction of your life and who is drawn or deflected by it which inevitably determines the places you will go or are encouraged to return to. Pay attention to the energy you bring, it usually introduces you before you even say a word. Inauthenticity can be off-putting and is a controlling behaviour of the ego, open and warm energy is the natural projection of your soul.

When you are open and offer to be understanding and gracious during a time of conflict you create a space of freedom within speech, objectivity and vulnerability. This opens the lines of communication right down to the soul level and the opportunities for a deeper bond can transcend any negative boundaries that previously dominated the communication. Revealing your own vulnerability and authenticity may seem too open to being hurt but it is such a valuable extension of yourself towards others that you just can’t afford to suppress.

I feel it is when we are protecting our hearts so intensely that we end up closing the door to discovering something new, something possibly dreamy and inconceivable. You have no idea what you can potentially miss out on when you refuse to let others in because of past hurts that have colored or damaged your ability to have a healthy and spirited approach to trust.

We all have something to offer and share, sometimes your sadness and hurt can prevent you from remaining true to that faith.

It is really important to hold your faith through the challenges and successes that life brings your way as it is building you for your destiny. Even when a storm becomes so overwhelmingly cloudy and dark that it causes you to question your vision about the bigger picture, trust in the divine anyway. Nothing you can’t handle will come your way and everything does happen for a reason.

Your higher purpose and the greater good are a part of everyone’s journey, be intensely curious to discover yours!

It’s not always Healing, Sometimes it’s Adapting to Move Forward

The deep and lasting effects of emotional hurt and/or trauma can feel like they may not heal and sometimes it’s not always healing that occurs, it’s adapting and making changes to move forward and away from the emotional scars that may be holding you back. The option between healing or adapting to move forward isn’t always a choice because emotional scarring is tied to the emotional part of our being and our emotions are not always something that can be controlled. Feelings can be suppressed but only for a period of time, at some point they are going to come back to the surface and have to be dealt with and for every time you push them back down, they tend to come back stronger and stronger with each time they re-surface until it becomes too overwhelming to have enough strength to suppress them again.

The choice in the timing of when we have to deal with an issue that has re-surfaced isn’t always an option but the decision on where you choose to go from there is. We all have more personal strength within us than we usually give ourselves credit for and choosing to face the challenges to live a healthier and happier life is a decision I don’t think anyone would ever regret.

It takes twice the amount of your personal energy to maintain suppressing an emotional issue and I think that’s why we always hear the expression “it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders” when someone has finally dealt with an issue they had been suppressing. The weight being the energy you are utilizing to maintain that suppression. When you deal with it to move forward, you are no longer carrying the weight of that burden of energy required to avoid dealing with the emotional pain.

A few years back I had read a book that had a couple of chapters about a child’s “formative years”, I had always thought that the formative years ran somewhere between 7 – 12 years of age and was surprised to read that it was much earlier, as in age birth to 5 years of age. I was aware that from the time we are born that babies to toddlers know what is going on around them and can sense disharmony but I had thought that the formative years were later in life because I myself had more solid memories of events from that timeframe of age. In thinking back while I was reading this book I realized that the emotional memories of closeness and familial bonds had to be earlier than I could actually recall because I was too young then to understand, recognize or desire anything else but I inherently knew that they stemmed more from a feeling or sense of awareness.

It’s this time period of our life that ultimately forms the foundation of who we are to become and what energetic state of being that we become pre-disposed to, whether that energetic state is positive or negative. Parenting and family are the most significant part of our foundation and can either inspire or damage the spirit within. Nurturing is such an important and relevant component of our development and needs when we are young, any indifference, negativity or neglect can permanently alter the shape in which we grow. I don’t believe that means that positive development can never occur, I believe it changes the spirit within in ways that can never be restored to its previous form, like a violent image that can’t be unseen, a negative experience can’t be undone. We can move forward but the emotional feelings generated from the experience remain.

It’s this foundation that creates the development of the character traits and I believe that there are variations of these character traits that are developed or not developed based on whether the formative year’s environment was positive or negative. I also believe that there are degrees of emotional damage experienced during these formative years that may not be healed but can be accepted and adapted to in order to move forward and develop a more positive, productive and peaceful state of being. There have been many movies produced that are based on true stories of individuals that have overcome difficult environments in their formative years and have transcended their circumstances to achieve just that.

There is no quick fix to alleviate emotional hurt, all wounds (physical or emotional) take time to heal but anything worth having is worth working for and our well-being is the most important state we need to maintain and nurture.

The most important aspect I want to express is that regardless of where the emotional hurt/trauma stems from if it’s affecting you negatively then it’s hurting you the most and the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to release it so that it no longer has any control or effect on your overall well-being.