an honest forum for military spouses

​With baited breath, I follow news of intelligence investigations into ties between President Trump’s campaign and Russian officials. On his security clearance, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn failed to disclose payments he received from the Russian government for an appearance on Russian state news during 2015. He then lied to the Vice President about a conversation he had with the Russian Ambassador during the presidential transition period, and waited until months after the fact to disclose lobbying his firm conducted on behalf of Turkish President Erdogan.

In May, journalists produced evidence that Trump’s son-in-law and senior advisor, Jared Kushner, discussed the creation of a secret back-channel for him and other members of the Trump team to discuss Syria and other national security issues.

In a recent round of questioning by the Senate Intelligence Committee, Attorney General Jeff Sessions refused to provide a direct, yes or no answer to any of the inquiries about whether he met with Russian officials during 2016.

These lies and omissions are astonishing. The intelligence community has confirmed that Russia meddled with our election process – a cyberattack that some have compared in size and impact only with the September 11 attacks. The urgency for everyone involved in the Trump administration to cooperate with investigators to prevent further attacks has never been greater.

As a military family, my husband and our children endure regular encroachments on our privacy. We are required to disclose each and every one of our close relationships with individuals in countries that are deemed to be security risks to the United States. For me, this is key, because I have lived, worked, and traveled in such a setting.

When my husband deploys, we cannot email one another without people in his command having access to our emails, particularly if the use of certain words flag the computer system to sensitive or “upsetting” subject matter that could ostensibly harm command morale.

Finally, everyone from my husband to random Tricare personnel to airport officials remind me that my behavior, my way of dealing with conflict, and even the way I dress reflect on the military and could impact my husband’s job.

The effect of all of this is to make me feel as though I have no private life. The military has big, grabby hands and they require everyone in military families to be transparent about their social relationships.

That the Commander in Chief, his own family, and his team are unwilling to be forthright, honest, and transparent about their own relationships with foreigners is not only hypocritical; it undermines the values of accountability, transparency, and respect for national security that are central to military life. The President and his team’s actions make me far less willing to abide by the vague, ever shifting and remarkably intrusive security protocols that intrude on my life.

About

This is a blog about my experiences as the wife of a naval officer.

However, I would prefer if it were no longer about my experiences ONLY.

I want this to be an open forum for partners and spouses of military service members from all branches and ranks - including officer and enlisted - to speak openly about their experiences as family members of those serving in the armed forces.

You need not share my perspectives and views. The only requirement is that you are honest and have something original to say.

Please submit your story to rockingtheboat2013@gmail.com, and I will be in touch.