Free Range Kids

"Somehow, a whole lot of parents are just convinced that nothing outside the home is safe. At the same time, they’re also convinced that their children are helpless to fend for themselves. While most of these parents walked to school as kids, or hiked the woods — or even took public transportation — they can’t imagine their own offspring doing the same thing.

They have lost confidence in everything: Their neighborhood. Their kids. And their own ability to teach their children how to get by in the world. As a result, they batten down the hatches."

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I would like to delve into this further in the coming week.

Has ANYone read this book yet? I am currently reading it and I have to say this book is turning out to be a lifesaver for ME.

Not sure what the "debate" is here, but I am wanting to discuss and toss around some concepts.

HOW do we jump from being perceived control mongers to the "free range" mentality?

Has anyone practiced "letting go" and found that it was NOT better for their child or themselves? And which matters more, the child or the parent? AGH

I honestly do not expect many responses to this post at this time, but I wanted to "put it out there" for future reference.

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"My thought is that laws dealing with kids always come a death too late." ~A very wise womanwww.coolerparents.com! Where NO ONE tolerates bigotry!

Comments (76)

There is a huge difference between a few hard knocks and traumatic experiences, though.

For instance, if my kid climbs the tree I've asked him not to and falls and breaks his arm while I'm inside doing my own thing, that's a hard-knock. He's either going to learn to listen to my advice about the tree, or he's going to become a better, more cautious climber. Totally educational and character building.

However, if I trust my kid to go to some kid's house down the street, and I trust the parents to keep a decent eye on him even though I know very little about them, and the parent or older sibling does turn out to be a child molestor or the parents have guns in the house that I don't know about (common in my area) and something tragic happens, well, that's on me. That's the kind of trauma people never need to endure to build character and can actually end up very devastation and life altering, even if the kid is eventually "just fine."

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"Those cows won't know what hit them. And when it hits them, they still won't know. Because they're cows." ~Fes

I am trying very hard to be free with ODD.....I trust her, she's smart and she takes and follows instructions well...by biggest worry...nosey people calling CPS on me for things they might not do but are also not their business!

In my state there is no age limit for outside alone and a very low (10) for home alone. ODD is 5 1/2. She has pretty free access to the neighborhood within certain boundaries. She is required to tell me which yard/kids house she's playing at and come home and tell me if they are switching yards. She also has to come check in every 1/2 hr (She wears a watch). We started very slow at the beginning of the summer and this is where we've worked to.

Today we were at 1/2 price books selling some books and wandering around until they had us ready. She had to go potty. I pointed to the corner ofthe store the potty was in and told her to go straight there and back (I could see the hallway but not the actual restroom)...I got some seriously raised eyebrows from some browsers. She went back, peed, washed and came back to me. That felt nice and she is proud that she is a "big" girl and can walk to the bathroom by herself.

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There is nothing unholy about screaming the Lord's name during sex, while covered in bacon, after discussing politics.

This is a funny topic.. with the impending birth of my son, I already know I'm not going to be a helicoptor mom.. and I know I'll probably be pretty liberal with instilling independance only because I had that independence as a child and after reflection, feel raising my child in the same manner I was raised will be beneficial for him as a person..

HOWEVER, since I deal with the general public on a pretty daily basis, I realize that there are a LOT of stupid people out there, who wouldn't be able to properly identify boundries and therefore, cause themselves and their child/children to be victims due to their inexperience/lack of common sense/whatever... That being said I do not feel this type of parenting would be ideal for everyone.

I think a good part of this depends on where a person lives, and what they have experienced themselves.

My kids are allowed out on their bikes. They are not allowed to go into their friends house. They often play in the park that adjoins the firestation. They often are out in the woods catching snakes, and lizards and the like.

Has ANYone read this book yet? I am currently reading it and I have to say this book is turning out to be a lifesaver for ME.

It's not available on Kindle. I have lost the necessary knowledge to use paper books. When it is though, I will read.

HOW do we jump from being perceived control mongers to the "free range" mentality?

You don't. As a parent I don't see how it would be possible to switch gears so suddenly. Baby steps.

Has anyone practiced "letting go" and found that it was NOT better for their child or themselves?

I loosened the reins a bit and my 13 year old decided it would be appropriate for her to date an 18 year old. Does that count? Nobody got hurt, except for the feelings of two lovelorn teenagers and my feelings because she tried to hide it from me. But it still backfired.

I live in a small town, so my 7 yr old has free range as long as I know where he's at. We have 3 different parks in this small little town, but he's only allowed to go to 2 of them by himself (the 3rd one is by the highway). If he plans on changing places, he has to come home and let me know.

Now if I were still living in the larger city (where he lives), I would not allow him going from place to place by himself, because it's a huge place and I don't trust people with my child, plus nothing is of walking distance from his home there. Does that make sense?

You know I am something. I dunno. I heard that it was safer for my children to be five point harnessed till as long as they can be so I do it. My parents started flipping out and telling me that its not necessary and I rode running around the truck and its all just to get you to buy carseats. I get what they are saying but just because I lived doesn't mean that was a good idea. We know more now.

As far as my daughter walking down to the convience store down the road. NUH UH!! Shes 6 though. Maybe when shes 12?? I dunno. I mostly worry about HER judgment. Will she look before crossing? Will she get in someone's car without yelling?? I do think shes to young. I use to ride my bike MILES down the road to a store for penny candy as a kid on a banana seat bike.