Re: Who's snarky in real life?

That's the way it goes. Once you start training yourself in sarcasm it just comes out. Unless somehow sarcasm comes naturally to you. I had to train myself. It wasn't forced though. It was an evolution from meek and quiet to mean as hell. I'm not sure I entirely like myself this way. Oh, well. It's not a total downer. I get a lot of laughs when the moments right.

Re: Who's snarky in real life?

Posted 21 May 2012 - 03:51 AM

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I'm a complete fucking asshole in real life.

My coworkers tell I'm "too quiet". That's because I don't talk for fear of what will come out and who it will offend. The one time I did try to goof around with someone, I ended up calling her a retard... and then found myself magically scheduled for a webinar about appropriate conduct in the workplace.

Re: Who's snarky in real life?

Posted 21 May 2012 - 06:00 AM

I'm worse on the intarwebz tubez than I am in "real life". I believe I'm that way because I try not to be too offensive in person because I don't wish to deal with someone's attitude or hurt feelings or whatnot. I think most folks are like that.

Just last evening I pretty much mortified my wife by having a brief discussion with the waitress who was serving us at a local lakeside bar and grill. Took the wife and kids for supper, placed our order...and then proceeded to wait for well over an hour. I finally get fed up with the shit service and ask the girl when we might expect to see our food (had the kids there and kids don't DO waiting for their food for an hour very well). One of the things that was ordered was carrots with blue cheese (because my daughter wanted something she could share with the Mrs.) and perhaps 30 seconds after the waitress disappears to check on our order, she comes back and announced they're out of carrots and that the kitchen is really swamped.

[Cue real life snark/asshole moment]

At that exact second, a waiter came out of the same door she just exited with an order of wings that had, you guessed it, carrots and celery as a side. I look at the waitress, we both look at the passing carrots...and then I make an obvious show of looking around at the 1/3 full restaurant and then look back at her and, saying nothing, assume a look that I really hope conveyed my sentiment of "are you fucking kidding me...don't insult my intelligence you lazy fucking twat". To make the moment epic the girl asked, in a snarky tone, "would you like to speak to the manager" and I replied "no, I want to be served my meal in a prompt fashion and not be insulted with obvious excuses for someone not doing their job".

It takes quite a bit for me to get snarky in real life but it's been known to happen.

Re: Who's snarky in real life?

Posted 21 May 2012 - 06:43 AM

No, she was just lazy and when I called her on it, she lied her ass off.

While the Mrs. wasn't happy about it, some good actually came out of it. While the indolent idiot waitress was off finally doing a fairly crappy version of her job, I used the occasion as an educational example for the kids. I explained that while everyone has an off day, it's one thing to have an off day, it's entirely another to compound the off day by not owning up to it and then busting your ass to make amends. Lying your ass off, blaming somebody else (when the excuse is patently ridiculous) and then producing a crappy end result AND having an attitude while doing it was way wrong on many counts.

As I explained to the kids: an off day I can forgive...having a passive-aggressive "fuck you" thrown my way when I ask if we can rectify it is entirely another thing altogether. The former I'll be polite about. The latter I'll get snarky and downright rude about.

Re: Who's snarky in real life?

Posted 21 May 2012 - 07:18 AM

You're implying people are more snarky on the internet? Are you on crack?

Depends are where you live, maybe... I'm from Jersey. Outsiders think the entire State, and New York by association, is full of assholes. Ok, it is. But the point is, the style of the area is confrontational. People talk shit about damn near anything. Under such a constant barrage of banal banter, most people don't take the barbs seriously.

Locale aside, I'm far more snarky in real life. Text gives me a chance to edit. I never send out the first email. If I'm miffed, probably not the second. I reread everything several times. Yes, believe it or not, this is the tamer me. Still the same, but with benefit of "shit, did I just fucking say that" AND a backspace key.