MENACING AND MONSTROUS HAUNTED VEHICLES

22 Mar MENACING AND MONSTROUS HAUNTED VEHICLES

OK, look folks, I have to talk about the whole subject of haunted and menacing vehicles too.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve found the idea cool, and as a parent, there was a time when the kids were toddlers and I’d play with the ‘lock/unlock’ button, delighting in hearing them scream that the car was haunted. I even once had an old Datsun truck that would turn itself off whenever it wanted to! And even though some ‘smart mechanic’ told me that it was because I needed to properly set the idle time, I remain convinced it was haunted!

I still remember first seeing Duel. Man, what a scary film! And in my mind’s eye, the driver of the truck chasing Dennis Weaver was always a demon driver or the actual devil himself!

So that movie, whenever I watch it, it’s an even cooler experience to think of that driver as Satan himself. Steven Spielberg directed it, and originally it was a made for TV movie in the States which ended up getting a movie theatre release internationally. The whole concept was scary. You’re driving down the road in a relatively quiet, safe place when all of a sudden, out of the blue, there’s this menacing force which happens to be in a tractor trailer that not only spots you but starts tracking you at high speeds!

That is scary man!

Imagine it happening to you – it comes out of nowhere, the situation is impossible to gauge because you’re driving, trying to escape, you’re filled with puzzlement, fear, it’s extremely claustrophobic and…the ONLY thing you see of the driver is his boot and a kind of silhouette right at the end, because he’s in the shadow of his own big rig cab. I think Duel was the first movie of its type, and I cannot think of anything before it. Can anyone else? Let me know!

It was great because there was the origin story of a murder inside it, there might’ve been a sacrifice thing going on, and then that ending with the auto compactor – and hey, you have to wonder whether the haunted elements were recycled into another vehicle or entity. I love the ending because it is so dubious!

Then there was The Hearse, a late ‘70s film about (of course) a haunted hearse. Not perhaps as big an impact as the previous two films we’ve been discussing, but think about it, in terms of pure concept it’s kinda brilliant and simple because of course, hearses would be haunted! There was also Maximum Overdrive with the big rig and a green goblin face right on the front of it, and again, this one veers into the territory of ‘artificial intelligence’ and a vehicle/ machine that wants to stamp us all out because we’re not worthy. King certainly found the idea of possessed machinery exciting, I even seem to remember reading in one short story he wrote about a haunted Coca-Cola machine? And how about these two? The Car, with James Brolin and a haunted Lincoln Continental going mental, Rubber about Robert the tire who suddenly comes to life and discovers he has psychic powers!

I also must give an honorable mention here to one of my favorite films, Repo Man, and that 1964 Chevy Malibu. THAT was a car with some sort of conscious entity too, maybe not haunted but cool enough to mention as it was one of the finest movies of 1984 which deserved an Oscar!

Why hasn’t there been a movie about haunted conversion vans? Haunted campers? Haunted tour busses? Think about that one! What about electric cars, you’d never hear them coming so how about the potential for electric vehicles to cause mayhem? They could shoot lightning bolts out, they could turn into mobile electric chairs, ok I’m going to call my agent because I see a genre developing that could be pretty fun.

And that is my take on this relatively small sub-genre.

In other news, as you may or may not know, my horror movie poster collection will be going into a major exhibition at the Peabody-Essex Museum in Salem, Mass. This is the first major exhibition of horror movie posters of its kind. I feel that I have accomplished a major feat with this collaboration. It’s been my goal all along to bring awareness to the cultural, artistic and social significance of these pieces over the course of the 20th century. Finally, it’s happening and I am more than delighted!

For the next few months I’ll be using a portion of this blog to highlight some of the pieces that are going into the exhibition. Even though there will be pieces I’ve never shown publicly anywhere else (including within my book Too Much Horror Business), I’d like to start these teasers with something I think everyone will recognize – The Mummy three-sheet poster. I’m starting with this image as Metallica fans will recognize it as the image on my guitar. To see this poster in person is quite an explosion of sensory bombardment. The graphic design, artwork, and colors all work together to ensure that you MUST acknowledge this poster! What I’m trying to say is it’s hard not to notice this piece of art in a room.

So if you can, try to make it out to the Peabody-Essex Museum in Salem, Massachusetts starting August 27th through to November 26th 2017. Even I can’t wait to see my collection in this original curated exhibition. It’ll be new and exciting for me and truth be told, I kinda feel like a proud parent J. It’s the ultimate experience if you love horror movies, and getting to see it in Salem, which is overflowing with such history, is a definite plus.

And to round things off, I wanted to get back to a couple of people who have commented on recent blogs. First off, JOHN RUSSO

said, ‘“Thanks for the shout-out! Loved your appearance on Jimmy Kimmel — great music!” Cheers John, you’re a legend in my book always.

MARC RESTIVO asked, “Strange question, but did you ever acquire any of Uncle Forry’s stuff for your collection?” Marc, indeed I did! I have a number of pieces in my collection from Forrest J Ackerman, and I acquired most of my Famous Monster paintings directly from him. ANDREW DENNING commented, “Dude! What about Christmas Evil, starring Brandon Maggart, Fiona Apple’s dad?”

Christmas Evil with Fiona Apple’s dad? HOW COULD I have missed that one? Thanks Marc, I’m gonna add it to my Xmas watch-list for 2017! TINA MCDONNELL said, “another movie that would be good to mention about these times we live in is…Idiocracy. Now it’s not a horror at all but it’s damn scary to watch it now and think this is a possible future for us.” Right on Tina. I know Mike Judge. When I asked him what he was working on several years ago, and he said a movie called Idiocracy, I knew it was destined for great things. I’ve seen it three times, and it’s scary how prophetic it is, and could be. It’s almost like a documentary!

JOHNNY SJÖSTEN was wondering, “do you have a cinema in your home or are you just watching on a TV?” Johnny, I watch on anything from a computer screen to plasma TV. I don’t have a home cinema, but I’ve been wanting one for a long time, just haven’t gotten around to it. And last but not least ANNA HOOVER said she, “…would like to know your thoughts on the old Abbott and Costello movies that had a lot of the classic monsters/actors in their movies.” Anna, I love Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein…it’s a classic no doubt about it. You get how many monsters for the price of one? And Abbott & Costello are just fun to watch. It stands right up there with all the other classics of it’s era.

Ayush singh

Nina Doumain

William Jarman

Kirk you’re awesome, and a huge inspiration, my dad introduced me to horror films from a young age, Most memorable films being Christopher Lee as Dracula. And now I’m 21 we watch Borris Karloff as Frankenstein or NOSFERATU…… Did you ever get to meet Christopher Lee??? He was also a metal head!! Rock on Kirk

Francesca Del Monaco

Hi Kirk! My name is Francesca and I live in Italy. I take the opportunity of your new post to give you a poem I wrote for you. I was inspired by your interview in “Some kind of monster”, in which you described how surfing changed your life. I’m sorry because I don’t speak English very well, but I tried my best and I wrote it with my heart. Hope you like it. Thank you because you inspire us with your great passion for music, movies and surfing.

Sparks of dawn

The sky
had become too heavy.
And your soul
had become too empty,
hollowed by pain.
But one day,
you met the sea,
and you filled emptiness
by waves.
And so
swimming to sparks of dawn,
in balance
on the awakening of the ocean,
you were turned light.
Because
there’s no weight
the abyss cannot bear,
with the never-ending tide,
with the gentle foam
becoming breeze.
When you
forgot the horizon,
and the earth
was not enough,
the ocean
took you away
and show you
new destinations.

From then to now,
waiting for sunrise,
living for pure waves,
you’re always
looking far,
to the skyline.
With the eyes
full of sun,
through the chirping
of seagulls.

Yes! Welcome back Kirk! I LOVE Christine and The Car….both are such classics! Just found a VHS of The Car a while back (already have it on DVD but gotta love the vintage look of VHS) and it’s still as great as it was the first time I saw it!
There’s a car museum by my house that has a bunch of movie/TV cars, including a Christine car on display — complete with a mock-up of Darnell’s garage (they also have a SICK full-size 1979 Alien as well).
Lastly, thanks to you, I’ve been diving head first into the Universal Monster films…I’ve had the Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolf Man collector’s DVDs from 2004, but have finally been getting into all their sequels (the only one I’d seen before was, of course, Bride of Frankenstein) and others. Just picked up a VHS of Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein…my Dad still raves about that one and, along with your recommendation, I can’t go wrong can I?
Cheers bro!

Jeff Willemain

Dianna Mangus

Hi Kirk! Your article just made me laugh! It reminded me of when I was growing up in the 70’s and a family in our neighborhood had a big grey hearse that the dad used as the family’s (4 kids) main mode of transportation. They were very eccentric and the parents were hoarders. They had that big grey hearse for my entire childhood and teen years. I was convinced that it was haunted! How could any hearse not be?! It caused me to think of haunted vehicles a lot as a kid. I used to wonder if the kids were creeped out when riding in it or if they were used to it. I used to ask my parents if ghosts rode around with them. My mom never gave me the “no” I wanted/needed. She would always say “ewww I don’t know” which just confirmed it more! Lol.! I have always looked in my back seat from time to time as I drive at night because I’m paranoid of something grabbing my neck! The more I think about it while driving, the more it feels you can sense something in the car. Sometimes I’ve scared myself so bad, I’ll drive with the dome light on. Haha! Love the blog, that was fun. Yes, Duel was scary! I love Christine, it was creepy! I’ve watched it so many times. Congratulations on the upcoming exhibit! It’s really nice what you do with your collection.. I look forward to seeing your upcoming pics and posts on the FFE page. Xoxo

Joy McKenzie

Hi Kirk! I got “Too Much Horror Business” literally 20 minutes ago…the mailman brought it 🙂 I just put it down to check email and saw you have a new blog entry. My question is, where did the title come from? I can just imagine someone saying to you “Kirk, this is just too much horror business”… or is it a line from a movie or song? Anyway, it’s a great title.

Hope to actually get to Salem for your exhibition …that would be very cool. I love Salem! That advertisement (I’m thinking it’s just outside the museum) is really great…I want it when they’re done (100% sure that’s NOT gonna happen!).

First is that machinery is often portrayed as a thing of the Devil. The machines of Orcus, so to speak. Fire and metal are images evocation of the underground, and the underground was long synonymous with Hell. Metal and fire were big symbols of the industrial revolution, and that connects . . . Hell with science. We can see that many ignorant Bible thumpers still shun science.

So, with those things in mind – I think of the machinery of Sauron and Saruman in Lord of the Rings, or the machine “god” of the Matrix. Or the “Terminator” – Skynet.

So then instantly a bajillion movies spring to mind . . . from “Metropolis,” all the way to “Trascendence,” with Johnny Depp. “Machinata.”

And, I mean, isn’t knowledge itself associated with the Devil?

From that hodge podge in my head emerges one movie that really gave me nightmares, a TV movie, I think it was, called “The Demon Seed.” An artificially intelligent HOUSE impregnates Farah Fawcett (I think) with it’s unholy spawn.

Also from TV, Steve Austin, “The Six Million Dollar Man” had to fight a Mars rover gone rogue and hell bent on killing everything. That one also gave me nightmares when I was a kid.

And who can forget “Saturn V” with Kirk Douglas and Farah?

So yeah, machines ARE the devil’s disciples. True.

Okay – so I’ve got one about a vehicle that’s “possessed” – “Solaris.” I like that one because evil is sort of codified as an a sort of Lovecraftian scientific phenomenon. There’s no vehicle, per se, in “Prince of Darkness,” but again we see evil solidified and held in substance.

Last, I want to mention “Child’s Play.” For some reason.

Congratulations on your exhibit.

You know, back when I worked in the real world – in a cubicle and shit – this coworker lady came around, selling time shares to various vacation destinations. When she got to my cubicle, she said, “Well, Robert, is there anywhere you’d like to go on a vacation?” She was just a tad nervous, because I have social issues. (I was the only guy with a Metallica poster on my cubicle, btw – they made me take Lady Death down. I had also made the mistake of actually coming casual on my first so-called “casual day” – with a Slatanic Vermacht tshirt on. Don’t do that one.) Anyhow, I paused, and replied, “I don’t know, Judy. Do you have Salem, Massachusetts?” The guy in the cubicle next to me blew coffee out of his nose.

Sorry, I really do have brain damage and I cannot write a short birthday card. So then your blog fell under the Eye of Sauron, again, and here we are – at the end of a giant, blah, blah – you poor soul. Well, there’s a mouse wheel. Use it.

Lauren Kollett

Brendon Watts

ROAD TRAIN . Australian horror movie has some similarity with the classic and scary Duel. I liked it a lot. But I live in the outback and see Road Trains all the time. .Trucks with 3 trailers typically in the out back. Cheers from here in the outback.

John Fulcher

Kirk, speaking of things haunted, I remember reading where Lars spoke about the studio where KILL ‘EM ALL was recorded being haunted. Do you have any memories of “ghostly” happenings during the recording? Be interesting to go back to the master tape and solo up say James’ vocal tracks where he stops singing and listen for any strange noises or voices that might have gotten picked up. As everyone knows the house where the RHCPs recorded BLOOD, SUGAR, SEX, MAGIC was haunted. Chad the drummer refused to stay in the place when he wasn’t recording the drums. The Deftones WHITE PONY was also recorded in a haunted studio. And the most infamous of all would be NINE INCH NAILS “THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL” recorded at the house where Sharon Tate and others where murdered by the Manson Family.

Gavin Holmes

Hey fellow blog readers. Does anyone remember/has seen The Cars That Ate Paris. I remember coming home one night and finding it on late night tv. One of those little gems you stumble across around 1am. Aussie movie from the 70’s, in the time of Aussie Gothic / Ozploitation movies. That would of been over 20 years ago and I’m still hoping it pops up again late one night. Worth a look if you know what to expect from that style, remember this style were at home in the Drive-ins that were big at the time here.

Hi Kirk ! i think HORROR cinema nowadays lacks the supernatural element in it´s narrative core,
You have to make it believable in order to BE incredible like in :
The Omen, Dracula (1979) , GREMLINS, had one thing in common: the use of real ANIMALS reacting to the creatures or the events. taking place in the film
The monkeys on the zoo in The Omen, the horse on the cementery in DRACULA, the dog watching GIZMO sing .. Their reaction makes it REAL and real means SCARY.

Kirk I think you forgot to mention about the truck front lights which were more like two big eyes that follows Dennis in a scary way also the horrible loud sounds of the truck made the movie even scarier… that movie was one of greatest classical hits I love it so much and never get tired of watching it over and over! By the way I think it would be fun to talk about some of the horror movies with the subject of “Haunted Houses” in your next updates! For example “Shining” it’s got a great story and there are still some points of the story that many of us don’t know about .

Maria M Patino

Jorge Tron

Great to read again from you Kirk! Always waiting for the new blog!
First I wanna say a massive thank you for the three shows in Mexico City, went to all of them! It was my first time seeing Metallica and after so many years the wait was finally over, 17 hours in line, I wanted the best seat on the house and I got it, my heroes were no more than 7 ft away from me!

I remember you played the solo for Harvester of Sorrow right in front of where I was standing and I was just blown away. There was this other moment I’ll never EVER forget. You looked right at me, and I knew it was me, you feel that look, you can’t fake that. And it was unbelievable. The passion and love you guys give as a band and as human beings is my every-day fuel.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the three greatest days of my life.

On a lighter note, haha, I wanted to know what do you think of the opening credits art from “Drag Me To Hell”. I remember watching some random TV and all of a sudden this evil music starts playing and some awesome art starts showing and I was like “I don’t even care if this movie turns out to be terrible, this art is awesome!” I love that sort of medieval religious style.

Christopher Peet

the images would look very cool on a zippo. Wanted an old poster of Frankenstein on a zippo and could never find it. would be awesome. Makes me want to drive up there to see all of them.

when your in Maryland for the concert on the May 10th, Edgar Allen Poe’s grave and crypt is only blocks away from M&T stadium. Check it out if you have time. Only takes a few minutes. Went there the last Haloween night. Could hear the black cat behind the wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been a horror fan for as long as I can remember, starting with the Abbot and Costello movies, especially “The Time of Their Lives” where they were ghosts. The classic movie monsters are near and dear to my heart, though. Growing up in the 70’s meant that Saturday mornings were for cartoons, and Saturday afternoons were for Sir Graves Ghastly. Even now, my husband and I watch every scary movie we can, and we especially love the cheesy ones like The Blob. I have always had a love for the genre and have made it work for me with my art. I am the woman who made the Mummy doll for you that my daughter gave to you in San Diego. I used the image from your Facebook page for the inspiration. I hope that you enjoy him! He is the only one of his kind and will be the last one ever made by me with his full face showing. The hair was my daughter’s idea and worked so perfectly lol. Thank you for the chance to let her give him to you, we both appreciate it very much.