"There are times where I just wish to go home to be with the Lord and feel that it's pointless to even be here."

Do as the 'Heaven's Gate'-rs did, a la those in Jonestown did previously. 909 people can't be wrong, after all. Alternatively...:

And last time I heard, 'suicide being a sin' is purely Catholic doctrine; as a good Protestant fundie, you'd want to defy Popery in any & all it's vile forms eh, the J man? So, what's stopping you? Go ahead:

If the Lord wants you, He'll come and get you, for sure. Just continue to wait patiently, while you feed the hungry, provide for the poor, wash the feet of lepers, and all the other things Jesus did or said he wanted you to do. When He sees how obediently you have followed his actions, I bet He'll bring you up soon.