– Good morning. Uh… Clive “double down” ruggins, I’m Daniel Tate. I am your parole officer, and i just want to help you.
– How the hell you supposed to help me, man? What the fuck you know about the streets. What with your diplomas on the wall?
– Settle down.
I know that you might not be able to relate to me, But I think I know somebody who you can relate to. Little Homie.
– What up? What up? It’s my favorite Clive. [laughs] what up, dude?
– Nah, dog, listen. Hey, man, i ain’t trying to talk to no puppet, man.
– It’s not a puppet.
It’s Little Homie, And I would like for you to talk to him, Clive. See, I used to work in the juvenile correction systems, and I found this method very effective.
– I ain’t no juvenile, man, okay?
– He’s right. Does he look like a kid to you? Come on! He’s a grown-ass man.
– See? What?
– Look, it’s very important for your parole that you talk to Little Homie.
– What’s up, Little Homie?
– [laughs] That’s better, my negrumps. Heh, what you getting into these days, man? What it is? What it is? You got a job yet?
– [sighs] I’m trying, man, but no one will hire me.
– Yeah, hey, fuck all that noise, man. Between you and me, man, ain’t nobody trying to hire a nigga with a record. But hey, man, what you need to be doing is get back into some crimes, mang.
– [stammers] Wait… wait… what’s going on, man?
– Are you talking to me?
– Yeah.
– Well, you should be talking to Little Homie right now.
– What is going on?
– Yeah, bitch! Talk to me! Look at me when i’m talking to you!
– Okay, okay, fine.
– [panting] Source: LYBIO.net
Damn!
So, you smoking weed, nigga?
– No, man. No, no, Little Homie. I’m done with drugs.
– [laughs]
Shit. I got something. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Look at this here, negrumps. Smoke this weed!
– No, no, no, no, no, no, man. I’m done, man. You hear me? I’m done with drugs. I ain’t doing all that.
– I don’t know.
Little Homie seems pretty serious about that.
– Here.
– What? Look, I’m confused, man. What do you want me to do here?
– Well, I want you to clean up your act, but you’re not talking to me right now. You’re talking to Little Homie.
– Now smoke that shit or I’ll smoke this bitch right here.
– Oh, my god. He’s not messing around. I think you better do what he says.
– Okay, all right. Little Homie, man.
Just relax, man. Relax, Little Homie.
Take it easy. I’m just– i’m gonna smoke it down.
Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no,
No, you can’t fool me.
You’re trying to trick me, man.
No, I’m done with the weed.
[gunshot]
Oh!
– [chuckles]
Catch, nigga.
[laughs]
Dumbass!
Now your fingerprints is on the weapon! You in this with me now, right?
– Okay, Little Homie, yeah.
– Hmm.
– Oh! Oh!
– You failed the test. I have no choice but to revoke your parole.
– What? Oh, man. Ain’t this about a bitch?
– On your feet, baby boy.
– Get him out of here.
– Come on.
– I can’t believe that negrumps actually thought I killed you.
– I know, right?