Conspiracies: April 2002 Archives

April 19, 2002

Dip me in honey

The Lesbian Studies Institute isn't a terribly worthy project at a progressive educational establishement. No, it's a nonprofit corporation with a mission to track, synthesize and expose the secret, social and political corruption of America's powerful, government financed lesbian mafia, apparently inspired by Nehemiah 4:14:

Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses.

Now, lots of straight men have fantasies about women having sex with women, but this gentleman seems to be traumatised by the idea. Maybe God sent him a vision of Ann Widdecombe and Andrea Dworkin at it. At the Lesbian Studies Institute, we learn that feminism and lesbianism are the same thing and that there is an evil lesbian-feminist conspiracy to outlaw heterosexuality. Lesbians are a sinister force working to destroy America's existing culture:

The way they manipulate the American public is a very complicated set of circumstances, and requires an enormous amount of analytical deliberations to unravel their master plan. And I will say (matter of fact) I broke their code, I unlocked their secrets, I deciphered their manifesto, and you better believe me, it's scary!!

And who is behind this sinister conpiracy? Hilary Clinton, who is bisexual and fools around more than her husband.