(My boyfriend sleep-talks almost every night. It’s just after my alarm goes off early in the morning. I let him continue to sleep, cuddled up next to me, while I browse my phone. Suddenly he turns over and faces away from me.)

Me: “Uh-oh, is my phone too bright? I’ll turn down the brightness.”

Boyfriend:*drowsily* “Thank you.”

(Pause.)

Boyfriend: “Come ‘ere… Come ‘ere.”

Me: “I can’t cuddle with you. My phone will wake you up and you need to sleep.”

Boyfriend: “It’s because you hate fish, isn’t it?”

Me: “…what?”

Boyfriend: “You hate fish and are anti-Semitic.” *neither of those are true*

Me: “What the heck? Are you sleep-talking?”

Boyfriend: “No, I’m not!”

Me: “I’m pretty sure you are.”

Boyfriend: “I’m not sleep-talking; I’m just very very tired.”

(An hour later when he actually wakes up, I ask him about it again.)

Me: “So, were you sleep-talking?”

Boyfriend: “Kinda… I remember saying it and it making sense back then. I think I was half asleep.”

Me: “That makes sense. You were too coherent to be sleep-talking, but not coherent enough to actually make sense.”