Aliza Amitai wrote:My question is about "Pru u'Rvu" (Be fruitful and
multiply). I have learned that there are two opinions about the
obligation to have children

One boy and one girl

Two boys and two girls

Is this true? I'm curious, if this is so, why do so many observant
families have such large families? Is there a Halacha against
any form of birth control? Is having very large families a Halachic
obligation or is there another 'inyan' [idea]?

Dear Aliza,

"One boy and one girl" is the opinion of Beit Hillel
in the Mishna. They derive this from the way Hashem created
the world, with one male and one female. While the Talmud offers
other opinions, including the one you mentioned, the Halacha follows
Beit Hillel.

But did you ever throw a party and nobody showed up? Besides
this minimal fulfillment of 'Pru u'Rvu' there's
a general mitzvah to populate the earth, which stems from
the verse "The earth was not created to be desolate..."
and applies to non­Jews as well. Hashem is our 'host' and
desires lots of guests at the party!

In this age of DINKs (Double Income - No Kids) life is looked
upon as a picnic where kids rain. I know someone who has 3 kids
and 2 pianos. I asked him if he thinks about having more. Kids,
that is. "More kids!" he said. "Are you kidding!
Do you have any idea how much it costs for piano lessons alone!"
In other words, "Give me Liberacé or give me death."

The Torah looks at children otherwise: Children are an "inheritance
from Hashem," and lucky is the one who has a "quiver-full"
(Psalms). When you have a child, you draw down a divine soul,
a neshama, and dress it in an earthly body. A parent
gives each child the greatest gift of all - life! And each child
gives you plenty of practice in the art of giving and loving,
until hopefully you become an expert!

The Talmud describes having a child as a partnership involving
mother, father and G-d. So, if you're interested in a corporate
venture with Hashem, 'invest' in as many 'children-futures' as
you can.

However, having "as many children as you can" takes
into consideration physical, emotional, and sometimes even financial
factors; And some types of birth control are permitted in some
cases. Suffice it to say that a Posek (Halachic authority)
must be contacted regarding each specific case.

Of course, one benefit of having children is that you can brag
about them - which reminds me of the following story:

"Oy!"
says a woman to her friend. "My son the doctor! He's so
good to me! He writes! He sends presents! He flies down to
visit..."

"Oy, My son!" says the other. "He loves me so
much!" He goes to a fancy therapist. There he pays 150
dollars an hour! And the whole time, who does he talk about...ME!!"

Sources:

Talmud - Yevamot 61b.

Yeshaya 45, Psalms 127,128.

Shulchan Aruch, Even Haezer 1:5, 1:8.

<lilserv@attmail.com> sent us the following:

You take two edible items, where item #1 is forbidden to
cook and eat, and item #2 is permitted- put them
together, wait, and after a while, item #1 is permitted
to cook and eat, and item #2 is forbidden! What are the items?