Turnbull exiled to broadband Siberia

Ferociously loyal Coalition communications spokesman
Malcolm Turnbull
already had a tear in his eye this week as
Tony Abbott
named him Mr Broadband. This amounts to a sentence to spend the next decade inspecting the 60,000 hideously ugly fibre-to-the-node boxes the Coalition plans to put on suburban street corners. Sadly for Malcolm’s hopes of avoiding this exile, “I’m no tech head" Abbott managed to give the 42-minute press conference on the interweb thingy without saying dumb stuff. The next day, Abbott did get a little confused, saying there would be only 10,000 hideously ugly boxes on street corners.

But if that cheered up Turnbull, there was more bad news the next day.
Stephen Conroy
, the hideously ugly ALP factional brawler, succeeded in securing the preselection of
Tim Wyatt
to the safe Victorian seat of Gellibrand after persons unknown distributed a mysterious “shit sheet" on a rival candidate. Wyatt’s mission will be to make Turnbull’s spell in broadband Siberia even colder. Wyatt was once a Conroy staffer but jumped to Telstra as government relations guy to help negotiate the multibillion-dollar deal for the NBN. That would be the multibillion-dollar deal Turnbull now has to renegotiate. Wyatt will be back alongside Conroy and knows where all the bodies are buried.