Kentuckians, do not fret about yesterday’s news about a budget shortfall. State workers have gotten so good at doing more with less that they surely can do everything with nothing. Because of this miraculous ability to cut costs year after year, even in the face of the risings costs of resources, Kentuckians need not fear reduced services. (By the way, it is a closely held secret that state workers have it so good and enjoy their jobs so much, they would keep working even if they did not get paid at all.)

As an example of just one agency, we do not have to worry about increased incidences of child fatalities because the Cabinet for Health and Family Services can handle more investigations while strippng away 3% of pure waste from their budget. No worries about hit and run investigations that could result in children being removed unnecessarily. Those social workers can be just as thorough or even more thorough without ever missing that 3%. Remember, they actually only work because they love their jobs!

We should just rejoice that there will be no increase in taxes! Let’s face it, its just poor people who will feel any potential consequences of budgetary reductions. Those poor people don’t pay their fair share in taxes anyway. This is exactly why we need expanded gambling in Kentucky. Seems to me that we could recoup some of that welfare money we pour out by setting up gambling kiosks in impoverished neighborhoods and by homeless shelters that will accept those electronic food stamp cards. Everyone knows poor people are poor just because of their own poor choices. This way we just allow the state to benefit from their propensity to throw their money away.

Actually, now that I think about it, that kiosk idea is a great idea because there is bound to be an upsurge in homeless folks with all the home mortgage foreclosures. I bet all the extra revenue generated from targeting poor people with expanded gambling opportunities could offset the special tax treatment Ford Motors needed. There might even be enough to help set up a few soup kitchens or find more foster homes for the poor people’s kids (let’s not be heartless after all).

Just remember, the gambling kiosk idea is MINE! I’m going to get right on patenting and trademarking them now.