If you are like most people & your resolution to lose weight/stop smoking/take more exercise has already bitten the dust don’t despair. There are more meaningful resolutions we can make with ourselves that can bring us long-term gains.

We tend to pick resolutions that depend on that magic ingredient ‘will power’. Problem is that will power only gets you so far, because you are usually fighting yourself. If you really still want to smoke/ eat donuts/ laze on the sofa then at some point your determination is likely to fall by the wayside & you feel like you failed (again).

How about choosing some New Year’s resolutions that you can really keep & get a good feeling from? What would make you feel much better inside about yourself? If you build your self-esteem then those other ‘big goals’ get easier to achieve.

Here are some alternative suggestions:

1. I will honour myself by choosing only to wear clothes that fit me really well & make me feel attractive just as I am. I will get rid of clothes that don’t fit, or make me feel unattractive.
2. I will give myself a treat from my treat list every day.
3. I will think positively and cancel out negative thoughts that stray into my mind.
4. I will treat my body with care and attention.

The first resolution is effective because when we start to feel good about ourselves just as we are, we take a step off the hamster wheel of self-criticism about our size & shape that most of us have been round too many times! When you open the wardrobe to see clothes that are a size too small staring back at you it is difficult to accept and love yourself as you are. Get rid of them. If you aren’t sure what makes you look good invite a trustworthy friend & have a trying on session. Don’t be surprised if you find you lose a bit of weight in the next few months without trying to- when you stop feeling self critical food becomes less of a ‘weighty’ issue in your mind.

The second resolution works because most of us reserve our self-indulgences for things that make ourselves feel slightly guilty rather than good- if you can’t eat chocolate without a guilty conscience then it isn’t really a treat! Choose to be kind to yourself and give yourself a guilt free break every day. Make a list of things you really love to do. It doesn’t cost much to run a bubble bath & light candles, listen to your favourite music or curl up with a good book. What about training a partner or friend to give a head, shoulder or foot massage? Life isn’t meant to be all hard work. Even if you only grab half an hour a day make sure you do it. Taking time for yourself really isn’t selfish- it makes you a nicer, happier person to be around for everyone else!

The third resolution is about training your mind. It is so easy to get locked into a miserable spiral of self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts. Most of us do this from time to time. The Universe strives to fulfil our every request. We make our requests through the power of our thoughts and the spoken word. If these requests are mostly negative than the experiences we draw into our lives are likely to match. When you catch yourself doing some negative thinking say in your mind “I cancel that thought.” Choose some ‘feel-good’ affirmations to put in their place. What about ‘I am kind and loving’, or ‘I surround myself with loving friends’, or ‘I have plenty for my needs’?

The final suggestion is helpful because it focuses on what you will do, not on what you’ll stop yourself doing. It is a positive choice to listen to your body’s needs and give it what it wants. Rather than ‘stopping x, y or z’ you can choose to treat it to something instead. What would your body like right now? Talk to it. Ask the question. Mine just asked for a glass of water!

Make your New Year’s resolutions positive this year and enjoy the benefits you reap.