The 3 Day Refresh is a plant-based 3 day cleanse that is meant to jump start weight loss, break a plateau or get you ready for a trip or special event.

It is NOT the kind of cleanse where you have to worry about running to the bathroom. It’s a gentle, natural detox that will help you get back on track. I decided to do it after Passover and after Jake’s birthday weekend as I had more than my fair share of sugar and glutenous deserts. I felt like I needed a good sugar detox, and plus I wanted to look and feel my best before we headed out to Punta Cana for the Team Beachbody Success Club Trip!

So here is the scoop on the Refresh!

When you wake up you start with a large glass of water. You can still work out during the Refresh but I decided to go with lighter workouts to give my muscles and joints a rest. I did yoga on days 1 and 2 and a low impact cardio workout on day 3.

After my workout I had my Shakeology blended with 1/2 a banana as my serving of fruit. The program comes with a complete manual that gives you a list of what foods you can eat, at what time and what serving size.

For a mid morning snack, I had the Fiber Sweep! Fiber sweep is made up of psyllium, flax and chia and it contains a combination of soluble and insoluble fibre – 13 grams of it! It has a bit of a lemony taste – you mix it with water, stir, stir stir and then drink.

For lunch you have a shake called Vanilla Fresh. It is a plant-based protein shake and I thought it tasted great! You also get a serving of fruit, veggies and a healthy fat. I had pineapple as my fruit on day 1 and 2, and then cantaloupe on day 3. I had celery with almond butter for my veggie and healthy fat and it was yummy!

During the program you also drink lots of water and green tea. I was peeing a lot 🙂 All these liquids helped to keep hunger away and they also made my skin glow. It made me realize that I should be drinking more every single day, not just on Refresh days!

For my afternoon snack every day I made a juice with mostly veggies and a bit of fruit in my juicer. You also have the option of having a serving of veggies with healthy fat if you don’t want or don’t have access to juice.

Dinner is another Vanilla Fresh and then a veggie based dinner, made with a recipe from the manual. I had steamed broccoli with coconut oil and sea salt on day 1 and 2 and it was DELICIOUS! I know that might sound weird, but when you cut out sugar and the processed stuff your taste buds change immediately and fruits and veggies start to taste AMAZING. On day 3 we were at my mother-in-laws for dinner so I had some roasted brussel sprouts and salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, along with my Vanilla Fresh. Yes you CAN do this cleanse and go out and continue on with your normal routine!

I’ve done the Refresh 3 times, and this time it was the easiest for me BY FAR! Why? Well first I knew what to expect. I knew I might be a little hungry at times but I would survive. It’s honestly more of a mental challenge than a physical challenge.

I also had a group of amazing ladies that were doing the Refresh with me. Their accountability and support kept me going when I wanted to quit! They also got some amazing results – their weight loss ranged from 4-6lbs in 3 days. Pretty awesome!

I was also really motivated to get some great results before our trip. Let’s be honest here – I wanted to feel good in my bikini and not feel bloated and gross!

So let’s talk about my results!

In the 3 days I lost 2.6 lbs. I think it might have even been a bit more….but I had to weigh myself at the end at 3am because we were up early to catch a super early flight to Punta Cana! That early in the morning my body didn’t want to….how can I say this….eliminate waste. Sorry if that is TMI. LOL! A few hours later that probably would not been a problem and I bet I would have reached at least 3 lbs of weight loss.

ANYWAYS….it doesn’t even really matter….because I think the pictures show exactly what happened to my body on the Refresh – my bloat disappeared and my stomach fluff disappeared. I also felt GREAT! I felt energized throughout the Refresh. I wasn’t dragged down by starchy carbs, sugar, dairy and animal proteins.

The day after I finished we travelled to Punta Cana. I was motivated to keep the results of my hard work and not ruin how good I was feeling. Since the Refresh I’ve been eating more fruits and veggies than normal…and I’m eating fewer starchy carbs, and less dairy and animal protein. I also feel less hungry than usual, which is a nice side effect!

Also – I feel like my willpower and resolve are stronger than ever after finishing the Refresh. Sticking to the plan for 3 days has made me realize I can do anything I put my mind to! What I put in my mouth is ALWAYS my choice, no matter what is happening around me. Emotional eating….shoving random chocolate chips in my mouth…eating sugar to soothe myself….these are all things I have done before….but in the long run they just make me feel WORSE! Doing the Refresh has definitely made me more aware of my emotional eating habits.

If you would like to try the Refresh and if you would like to join our accountability and support group, please send me a private message via Facebook or email me at sheryl@ikor.com.

Our group starts May 1st! Don’t delay contacting me as you will need about a week for your materials to arrive!

For the past two years, I have been working out exclusively at home, with the very occasional spin class thrown in, and also with occasional outdoor runs.

It’s kind of funny, because when I first started working out at home out of necessity, I HATED IT! I thought that I could only have a good workout if I left the house and either went to the gym or went for a run outdoors. Those were my favorite ways of working out before having my third baby. Once I had three kids, it was pretty much impossible to get out of the house each day for a daily workout.

When Alex was 4 months old, I was feeling very frustrated as I was missing my daily workouts and a friend suggested that I join her in a home workout challenge ran by Bikini Body Mommy. Not sure if you have heard of that program before, but it actually was pretty decent and I did it for about 60 days, and got some results. However, I quickly realized that if I really wanted to lose the rest of the baby weight, I would need to incorporate healthy eating into my Bikini Body Mommy workouts.

That’s when I first heard of Beachbody and the 21 Day Fix. I was looking for a program that had short workouts you could do at home, and that included a simple and effective clean eating plan. I did a few rounds of the 21 Day Fix, lost 15 pounds, decided to become a coach….and I’ve never looked back.

Yes you can get GREAT results at home!

OK…..back to my list!

Here are the reasons why I love to work out at home!

You don’t need to waste any travel time going to or from a gym – as a busy mom of three, I don’t have a lot of time to spare. Even if the gym is just a 5 min drive from your house, it’s still 5 mins there and 5 mins back….and you have to walk from your car inside to the locker room….maybe change….definitely take off your boots and jacket if it is winter….that’s AT least another 5 mins on each end…..so that’s at least 20 mins wasted (probably much more). That’s valuable time I’d rather spend elsewhere.

You don’t need to worry about being late for a class – when you work out at home, your workouts start whenever you want them to. You are never late for a class and you never have to rush to get somewhere on time.

You can workout in whatever you want and never have to feel uncomfortable about other people looking at you – often I just workout in a sports bra and short shorts because that is the most comfortable! I wouldn’t do that in a gym.

There are no gross germy sweaty smelly people around you – if you’ve been to a gym before, you know what it’s like when a super sweaty smelly person gets on the treadmill beside you. It’s even worse when they are hacking and sneezing and have a cold and should have stayed home instead of spreading their germs. Enough said.

You never need to worry about childcare – these days I either work out bright and early before the kids wake up or sometimes in the morning when they are already up. Either way, I never have to worry about begging someone to watch them or about dragging them to childcare at the gym. This was particularly useful when I was still nursing Alex and she wouldn’t take a bottle!

Your kids get to see you work out and they learn from your example – I read something recently that said there are three ways that kids learn something: by example, by example, by example. If you want your kids to live active and healthy lives, be an example for them and show them how it is done!

If you love to work out at the gym, and it’s working for you – keep doing it!

If you are struggling finding time for your gym workouts – consider working out at home!

If you aren’t currently working out, but wish you were – work out at home! It’s the best! I started doing it out of necessity but now I truly prefer it over the gym. I actually have time now to go to the gym or to go to classes if I wanted to, now that the kiddos are older and are in school….but I truly prefer my home workouts!

Want to try the 21 Day Fix? I’ve gathered a great group of women who are all starting the program on Monday, June 20th and we’d love for YOU to join us! Join our supportive community of women who help each other on their journeys towards better health. Be a part of our group – work out everyday from the comfort of your home, learn about portion controlled clean eating and enrich your mind, body and spirit! If you want more info, please shoot me an email at sheryl@ikor.com or PM me via Facebook and I will get back to you ASAP with the details about the challenge.

Back in December, I decided to do the new 60 day home workout program from Beachbody called Hammer and Chisel. This program is intense and includes a variety of different workouts, including cardio, weights, power lifting, agility and plyometric training. Following this program means working out six days a week for 30-40 mins at a time, and eating according to a portion controlled clean eating nutrition plan with the goal of chiseling out an amazing physique!

I was pumped and ready to start on December 14th.

I weighed myself to establish a baseline, but I never took before pics or measurements. Big no no! I always tell my clients that they need to establish their baseline before starting a new program so that they can see how far they have come. I sadly did not listen to my own advice.

Then winter break came…I kept working out at the gym at Deerhurst as we were up north for two weeks, but my nutrition went out the window. Let’s just say there was some pizza, some Dairy Queen and a bunch of muffins and chocolate. And then to top it off, I got sick for a few days and missed some workouts.

I just wanted to be honest with all of you – even though I am a coach, I am also human and sometimes I veer off track…very far off track.

However, I have seen some fellow coaches acheive awesome results on this program so there was no way I was giving up on it. The only way to fail is to quit, and I was not going to quit!

Last Monday was my fresh start. I did things right this time. I weighed myself, I measured myself and I took my before pics. I’m sharing all of this here with you for accountability:

Starting weight – 132.8

Measurements:

Chest – 33.5

Arms – 10.75

Waist – 28.5

Hips – 35

Thighs – 21.25

Before pics:

I was determined that this time I would give my workouts my all. I would push myself. I would lift heavy weights and challenge myself. I would stick to my meal plan 100%.

I’m so proud to say that week 1 was a huge success!

For me – doing the workouts is a no brainer. Working out 5-7 days a week for 30-45 mins is just part of my routine. I don’t always want to work out before I start, but I crave the feeling that I get when I am done. I am addicted to the endorphins and how amazing I feel after my workouts. I love that I don’t have to go to a gym and be around other sweaty germy people. I love that I don’t need to leave my house on cold mornings. I just love my home workouts!

The part that is more of a struggle for me is following the meal plan.

I am going to be totally honest here and tell you that I love desserts. I love chocolate. I love cookies. I love all baked goods. I also love eating by myself when the kids go to sleep. It unfortunately had become a bad habit over the past few years – on most nights I would eat something once the kids are in bed. It was my way to unwind after a busy day. Sometimes it was healthy stuff like nuts or dried fruit. Sometimes it was unhealthy stuff like cake and ice cream. Either way, my body did not need those calories. I knew that this after dinner habit was the main thing that was preventing me from losing the last 5-15lbs that had took resisdence on my stomach and upper arm/back area. (I give a range of 5-15 lbs because at this point I’m not quite sure what my ideal weight is. I weighed 115 lbs before I had Dylan…is that an appropriate weight for me now? I’m not sure…but I do know that my abs and triceps are hiding under a layer of fat and I want them to come out and say HI!)

Anyways…I digress. My point here is that I have struggled in the past with nutrition and I believe that was the one thing holding me back from seeing defined muscles throughout my body, and in particular in my abdominals.

So…..I decided I would go all in with the meal plan for one week and see what happens. If I survived week one, I would give it a try for week two and so on and so forth, until I completed 8 weeks. I find it hard to commit to 8 weeks upfront, that’s why I decided to take it one week at a time.

How did I fare with the nutrition plan?

It was challenging at times, but I pushed through. Often we are tempted to take the easy way out, to not challenge ourselves or go beyond our comfort zone. I pushed myself way out of my comfort zone with the nutrition plan. I measured out and planned out every meal. We went out for dinner a few times and I stayed far away from desserts and bread and ordered a salad with protein (chicken or fish) and salad dressing on the side. I ate at least 4 servings of veggies and protein a day. I had ZERO sugary treats. For me, I do better when I have NONE rather than SOME dessert. When I have one cookie I want more and more and more. When I have none, I am OK. I learned this week that carrots are delicious and so is jicima. Your taste buds really start to change when you cut out processed food, and real food tastes AMAZING! I still ate carbs, but in the right portion and the right kind – ie sprouted grains, steel cut oats, quinoa and sweet potatoes. I was not hungry but I was definitely not stuffed. Sometimes right after I finished a meal, I felt like I could have eaten more, but then 30 mins later that feeling had passed. I have energy to power through my workouts, so to me that signals that I am eating the right amount. I have substitued my after dinner snacks with some tea and lighting a scented candle. I’m creating a new habit that is healthier…and it seems to be working!

So what happened in 8 days?

I lost almost 5 lbs! I went from 132.8 to 127 pounds. Since having Alex I see the 120s every once in a while…but it hasn’t been consistent. I feel good in the 120s and my clothes are fitting better. I want to stay in the 120s!

I don’t expect or want to lose 5 lbs every 8 days on this program. I know that the first week was getting rid of all the holiday fluff I had accumulated over the winter break as a result of carb overload. I’m curious to see what will happen as I keep going. However, I am making a promise to myself not to be obsessed with the scale – it is just one tool to use to track my progress.

Pictures:

I’m happy that there is a visible change in my picture! My goal was to chisel out my abs and it seems like it is working, and it’s just been 8 days.

I’m thrilled with my results, and the visible change is pushing me forward to be strong and keep going!

I’m putting together my next 21 day health and fitness challenge. We start February 1st. If you have been wanting to start taking better care of yourself – this is the perfect opportunity! Join my supportive community of women who help each other on their journies towards better health. Be a part of our group – work out everyday for 30 mins from the comfort of your home, learn about portion controlled clean eating and enrich your mind, body and spirit! If you want more info, please shoot me an email at sheryl@ikor.com or PM me via Facebook and I will get back to you ASAP with the details about the challenge.

I realized I never shared my results from when I first did the 21 Day Fix back in the spring of 2014! I thought I would write about them today, in honor of Transformation Tuesday.

I first did the 21 Day Fix when Alex was about 5 months old. I had slowly eased into exercising again when she was 3 months old. It felt great to be moving again, but the scale was barely budging. I had 10-15 lbs that I wanted to get rid of. They were mostly situated around my midsection and it made clothes fit really funny – especially jeans – they were SO uncomfortable!

I knew I had to get my eating under control to see results. Through social media, I had heard of the 21 Day Fix – and the nutrition plan caught my attention! It seemed so simple to follow – just calclulate how many containers a day you need of different types of foods, and then eat them.

I was worried about maintaining my milk supply as Alex was still exclusively nursing at that time. So I added in 500 calories each day and jumped in! It was really easy to fit in the workouts – they were just 30 mins a day and I could do them at home. I did them while Alex was napping or sometimes she would sit in her bouncy chair and watch me. I followed the modifier at first to keep things low impact.

I did three rounds of the 21 Day Fix. I was so thrilled with my results. After the first round I lost 5lbs, I lost another 4 lbs in the second round and 5 more lbs in the third round. 15 lbs in total in 63 days.

After the 21 Day Fix, I fell in love with Beachbody, the company that makes the program. I used to enjoy going to the gym, but with three kids it was just too hard to make time for that. I learned so much about portion control – I used to think nuts are healthy (they are!!) but it’s really easy to overeat them and be in a calorie surplus for the day – even with exercising. I realized also that I was not eating enough veggies or protein – both of which are very filling, nutrient dense but low in calories – perfect for when you want to lean out around the midsection.

In addition to losing weight, I also gained so much energy. The four o’clock slump that I had been experiencing almost daily was gone. I was waking up in the morning excited to do my workouts and plan my meals. I say now that my workouts are my therapy – the endorphins I get from them boost my mood and give me energy to make it through my busy day.

As you can probably tell…I really love the 21 Day Fix. I think this program is perfect for busy moms who want to learn how to fit daily exercise and portion controlled clean eating into their lives. Yes – it takes dedication and hard work if you want to see results – but if you follow the program – you will 100% see results!

I’m putting together my next 21 day health and fitness challenge. We start January 4th. If you have been wanting to start taking better care of yourself – this is the perfect opportunity! Join my supportive community of women who help each other on their journies towards better health. Be a part of our group – work out everyday for 30 mins from the comfort of your home, learn about portion controlled clean eating and enrich your mind, body and spirit! If you want more info, please shoot me an email at sheryl@ikor.com or PM me via Facebook and I will get back to you ASAP with the details about the challenge.

Today I am going to write about HOW to make it happen – it’s easy to say that you want to wake up early – but how do you actually force yourself to get out of a warm cozy bed…especially in the fall/winter when it is cold and dark?

Here’s what I do:

Just do it!

I cannot force myself to go to bed early. I really just cannot. I can’t make myself go to bed early just so I can wake up the next morning at 5. When I did my five day 5 am challenge, before the first day I just went to bed at my usual time (around midnight). And I set up alarm for 5am and just got up. I knew I would be tired by the end of the day, but that was good thing! I literally could not keep my eyes open past 10pm the first day. And that made getting up the next day that much easier! The second day I was asleep by 9pm – which to me is perfect as it gives me 8 hours of sleep. So – don’t force yourself to go to sleep early. Instead – force yourself to wake up early for the first few days, and you will then automatically start going to bed early.

Find accountability partners!

For me – this is KEY! I posted on Facebook that I was doing a 5 day 5am challenge and was looking for some friends to support me. A few responded, I got their cell phone numbers, and now I send out a text to them at 5:30am every morning and we tell each other what workout we will be doing. I feel accountable to them – and I will not let them down! It is much easier to talk myself out of an early wakeup if no one is counting on me. But when my friends are counting on me – I get up and I get to it! If you need an accoutability partner – that is what I am here for! Add me as a friend on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/sheryjesin and we can exchange numbers – I would love to add you to our accountability group.

Get ready the night before!

I know I will be working out first thing when I wake up, so I get ready for that. For me that means laying out my workout clothes and planning which workout I will be doing. Picking out my outfit only takes a few minutes, but I would rather do it the night before to save time. Also – I find when I wear a cute workout outfit, it motivated me to push a bit harder. Does that happen to you too? LOL. I will also spend 10-20 mins before bed tidying up, emptying the dishwasher, picking out the kids’ clothes and making at least part of their lunches. It feels good knowing these things are done and it means I have more time for ME first thing in the morning.

Do you wake up early? Do you have any tips to add on how you make it happen?

Like this:

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Philosophy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Lately I’ve been caught up in the daily grind of life with a 3 year old and a 6 month old: wake up at the crack of dawn, prepare and serve meals, clean up, breastfeed on demand, get baby down for a nap, keep preschooler away from baby during said nap, repeat until bedtime! Let’s not forget the constant tidying up and laundry, and the herculean effort it can take just to make it out the door. Getting through each day without any major meltdowns is an accomplishment of its own. My thoughts are moment to moment and it can be hard to think beyond the next hour without getting overwhelmed, let alone the next week, month, or year!

Yet at the same time, it is so important for me to think about long term parenting goals or philosophies. Otherwise, I get lost in the minutiae of day to day life. When I am caught up in the moment and short term goals, I forget about long term goals. A few examples come to mind. I often find myself taking off Dylan’s pyjamas in the morning while chasing him around the house. The chasing continues as I put on his clothes for the day. My short term goal is to get Dylan dressed and therefore I end up dressing him. However, an important long term goal is to teach Dylan age appropriate life skills so he can feel a sense of accomplishment when he is able to do something alone. The long term goal gets lost as I dress him in a rush so we can get out the door. Here’s another example – sometimes during dinner I find myself feeding Dylan a few forkfulls of chicken or telling him to hurry up or asking him to finish the last few bites. The short term goal is to finish the meal so we can move on to bathtime and bedtime, and to ensure that he’s gotten enough food in him so that he won’t be hungry at night. The long term goal that I am missing is to allow Dylan to recognize on his own when he is full and what type of food he wants to eat, in order to create healthy eating habits for life.

Without long term goals in mind, life with two kids can be monotonous, boring and frustrating. But when I stop and think about how my daily actions are influencing the lives of two little people, the daily grind doesn’t seem so bad. Instead of feeling bored, I feel inspired and purposeful. Rather than being frustrated, I feel patient.

really, when do i get my cape? — Sarah at small bird on fire is a working city mama trying to learn how to set aside her expectations of perfection and embrace the reality of modern parenting.

Baby, Infant, and Toddler Wearing — Child wearing is part of Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured‘s parenting philosophy. In this post, Sarah describes benefits of child-wearing and gives tips for wearing babies, infants, and toddlers (even while pregnant).

First Year Reflections — As her daughter’s first birthday approaches, Holly at First Year Reflections reflects on how she and her husband settled into attachment parenting after initially doing what they thought everyone else did.

Making an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a guest post from Sam about the unexpected lessons giving a four-year-old an allowance teaches the child — and the parent.

Of Parenting Styles — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom talks about how she and her husband tailored various parenting styles to fit their own preferred parenting philosophy.

Moment by Moment Parenting — Amy at Peace 4 Parents encourages those who care for children (including herself) to explore and appreciate parenting moment-by-moment with clarity, intention, trust, and action.

Parenting Philosophy — Lily, aka Witch Mom’s parenting philosophy is to raise child(ren) to be compassionate, loving, inquisitive, and questioning adults who can be trusted to make decisions for themselves in a way that avoids harming others.

Long Term — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis thinks about who she would like to see her daughter become — and what she can do now to lay a strong foundation for those hopes.

Connection, Communication, Compassion — She’s come a long way, baby! After dropping her career in favour of motherhood, Patti at Jazzy Mama discovered that building solid relationships was going to be her only parenting priority.

My Parenting Inspirations – Part 4 — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at her biggest parenting inspiration and how that translates into her long-term parenting philosophy.

Knowledge and Instinct — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that knowledge and instinct are super important … as are love, encouragement and respect. It’s the ideal combo needed to raise happy and healthy children and in turn create meaningful relationships with them.

THRIVE! — The Sparkle Mama wants to set a tone of confidence, abundance, and happiness in her home that will be the foundation for the rest of her daughter’s life.

On Children — “Your children are not your children,” say Kahlil Gibran and Hannah at Wild Parenting.

This One Life Together — Ariadne aka Mudpiemama shares her philosophy of parenting: living fully in the here and now and building the foundation for a happy and healthy life.

My Starter Kit for Unconditional Parenting — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses her wish to raise a good person and summarizes some of the nontraditional practices she’s using with her toddler son in order to fulfill that wish.

Responsiveness — Sheila at A Gift Universe has many philosophies and goals, but what it all boils down to is responsiveness: listening to what her son wants and providing what he needs.

Tools for Creating Your Parenting Philosophy — Have you ever really thought about your parenting purpose? Knowing your long-term goals can help you parent with more intent in your daily interactions. Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers exercises and ideas to help you create your own parenting philosophy.

Be a Daisy — Becky at Old New Legacy philosophizes about individuality and how she thinks it’s important for her daughter’s growth.

What’s a Mama to Do? — Amyables at Toddler in Tow hopes that her dedication to compassionate parenting will keep her children from becoming too self-critical as adults.

Like this:

One way that we practice positive discipline with our 2.5 year old son Dylan is to validate his feelings. We believe in Attachment Parenting’s “golden rule” of parenting, which is that parents should treat their children the way they want to be treated themselves. Validating Dylan’s feelings is a way for us to put this “golden rule” into practice.

Here is an example. Sometimes when I leave for work in the mornings, Dylan starts whining and crying a bit tells me not to leave. Sometimes I can stay for home a bit longer and play with him a bit, and other times I have no choice but to leave right away. My husband Jake is left to deal with an upset little boy. He has discovered that it isn’t helpful if he tries telling Dylan: Don’t cry! Mommy will be home after work – I’m here with you. Don’t be upset! Dylan just tends to get more upset and the whining and the crying escalate.

However, Jake has had a lot of success with validating Dylan’s feelings and saying things like: I can see you are sad. You must really miss mommy when she is at work. You are upset when she has to leave. When Jake validates Dylan’s feelings, Dylan usually stops his whining and crying within a minute or two, goes to Jake for a cuddle, and then is happy and playing again a few minutes later.

The website eqi.org was founded by Steve Hein, an American writer who is an expert in emotional intelligence. The site has a great page on validation, and explains validation as follows:

To validate is to acknowledge and accept one’s unique identity and individuality. Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge their feelings, and hence, their individual identity.

When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted.

Jake and I have also discovered that validating feelings not only makes our toddler feel better, but also helps us when we are upset or in the midst of an argument. Validation leads to fewer arguments and conflicts, and brings us closer together.

It’s not always easy to validate Dylan’s feelings, especially when Jake and I are tired, frustrated and it’s the end of a long day. But whenever we do, we are always pleasantly surprised with the results, and we are motivated to try it again, either with Dylan or with each other.