A Journey of Life, Love, and Daily Blessings with Our Baby Boy

How many of us forget to stop on a daily basis and thank the Lord for what he has given us? How many of us go about our lives each and every day, not minding the Lord, but when we are stricken with grief or tragedy, then we turn to him? How many out there only look to the Lord when in need, instead of remembering to give him thanksgiving every day for the love and blessings he bestows upon us? How many of us remember to thank him for the trials and tribulations he presents us with, as well as the blessings? I'm guessing, each and every one of us is guilty of these things. I know I am.

But I want the Lord to know that I am beyond thankful.... for His never-ending love, His grace, His strength and comfort, His guidance, and the many blessings He provides each and everyday, whether it be joyful or devastating. Each situation He provides us helps us grow in our faith and character. If we trust in Him and His plan, then we know He knows what He's doing in molding and shaping us into the individuals and Christians He wants us to be.

Last Thanksgiving I was thankful for Cullen, our amazing baby boy who brought the greatest joy to our life; my husband who stood faithfully and strongly by my side through every step of the journey; our family who surrounded us and supported us through it all and showered Cullen with as much love as any family could possibly give; our church who fervently prayed for us, in the months, weeks, and days leading up to Cullen's birth, as well as long after; all of those who sent cards, as each one provided a bright spot in our days following his birth and passing; all of those who supported us financially during a difficult time to help afford Cullen's services and bills while I was off work; everyone who visited and cooked meals to help make things just a little bit easier for us during our time of emotional and physical healing; and for each blessing the Lord presented us with and the strength He gave to us each and every day.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the situation we went through with our son. I am thankful for the hardest thing I have ever had to face... losing my child. Everyday I wish he was here so that I could hold him just a little longer or kiss his sweet face or see what new things he does as he grows bigger and older each day. But that wasn't God's plan... His plan was much different. His plan taught me more about life, love and trusting in Him than I could have ever imagined. And as strange as this may sound, I wouldn't wish it to happen any other way. There is no doubt my heart aches daily, and I wish he was here, but there was a reason and a purpose for Cullen's life and the way things happened the way they did. If things would have been different, we would have missed out, as well as our families and those surrounding us, on the blessings He brought to us through the situation and Cullen's life.

I am thankful that we were able to grow deeper in our faith, closer to our family and friends, and to experience the greatest love a person can know through the most difficult journey we have ever faced. God never said it would be easy, but He did promise that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

It's not easy to stop and be thankful for the hardships and trials or the losses and grief. It's taken me some time to truly digest this thought and what it means, but it has given me a whole new perspective and understanding. I pray this Thanksgiving I might continue to be thankful for even the most difficult of circumstances God puts before me and my life. I pray I remember blessings come in all sizes, disguises, and may not always be what we pictured, but rather are part of God's greater plan.

May we all remember to be thankful in every situation, celebration, trial or tribulation.