Transcript

Eric (As Captain Alex): You can call me Captain Alexandra. I'm here to set you straight.

Eric: ...mind control...

Eric (in episode 10): But you look over to the captain and her eyes glaze over. And she starts walking towards the edge of the boat.

Eric: And marine polymorphing. You can’t arrest an octopus.

Amanda: I mean I guess only two of the arms are manacled anyway.

Eric: But don’t worry, everyone. Your favorite party people made it safe and sound.

Brandon (As Tracey): Guys. I just parallel parked a ship.

Eric: Water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. But we have punch! Let’s get the party started.

(Theme music)

Eric: You all steer the ship and you made it! You have docked the Down Eastern Alexa with only minimal damage to the ship on the rocks in the middle of Kiko lake and you're now on the island.

Amanda: Do we need to anchor the ship or is it sufficiently sort of beached?

Eric: Captain Alex got it on lock

Amanda: nice.

Eric: Captain Alex drops the anchor and you are all set.

Amanda: Alright I'm going to scurry down from the crow's nest where I've been and join the boys on the deck.

Brandon (As Tracey): Captain Alex! Whats next?

Eric (as Captain Alex): It's still storming! You guys got to touch the sphere to get it to stop. The Water Weird is still very unhappy with us.

Eric: And if you look out on the tide it's still coming in pretty pretty hard.

Brandon: Do we see the sphere or are we just like assuming it's at a place.

Eric: Why don't you all make a perception check

Amanda: Well that was a crit fail on Inara's part.

Eric: Inara is blinded by lust.

Amanda: YUP

Michael: Accurate

Eric: What did you guys get?

Michael: I got a 21

Brandon: I got a non-natural 20.

Eric: All right. You do both see a glittering light at the same time. It's about 200 yards forward right in the middle of the island. The island is actually pretty small

Michael: and it's fairly deserted? There doesn't seem to be any danger that I am able to notice?

Eric: No it's just windy and still very stormy.

Michael: Everything seems great and wonderful.

Eric: Yeah it's right in the middle of the island.

Brandon (As Tracey): Johnny, you see that?

Michael (As Johnny): Yeah. I see it over there! I'm still tied up here but if you want to go get it, go for it man!

Brandon (As Tracey): OK!

Brandon: Tracey starts walking towards the edge of the boat. Is there like a plank he can walk down?

Amanda: Inara is already jumping off the front of the ship.

All: HAHAHAHA

Michael: Weren't you blinded by lust?

Amanda: I did and then I realized how much I want to impress Captain Alex with my athletic abilities. So I'm going to run out the front of the ship and jump down onto the rocky shore

Michael: and falls right into the water

Eric: Make an acrobatics check

Amanda: I'm going to make a check for that, thank you Fish. That's it 13.

Eric: OK you jump off the front of the ship. You don't take any damage but your dismount is not so clean. You have to go and do like a tuck and roll that masks the fact that that wasn't that good of a flip but you do, you land right on the beach.

Amanda: And I'm going to just stand up and like straighten my cloak out and just walk confidently forward.

Brandon (As Tracey): You could have just used this rope ladder!

Amanda (As Inara): Come on Tracey!

Brandon: Tracey starts walking on the rope ladder.

Eric: You guys are so chill, like you just survived the storm.

Michael: Yeah, there's no way I'm getting on an island. I'm going to untie my ropes...

Amanda: You and the ship are like a spider web right now

Michael: I'm just trying to like breathe for a moment before I start running off to some unchecked island. But y'all do you.

Amanda: It's OK let us kids go out and get it. We will bring it back.

Michael: Old man Fish here is going to just chill out

Amanda: Fish and Johnny have become one.

Brandon: Tracey is going to walk over to where an Inara is and take point. Is it jungle or is it like...

Eric: I mean it's really a beach in all directions.

Brandon: Then he's going to start walking towards where he saw the glimmering light.

Eric: Still a storm out there. The wind is blowing. The rain is coming down and the tide is not happy with you.

Amanda: I think we're going to be walking purposefully forward not running but trying to get through the storm as fast as we can. And I'm going to keep one hand kind of on Tracey's cloak in case I get buffeted or blown away by the storm.

Michael: What's the visibility like?

Eric: I mean you can see the glinting of the thing off in the distance.

Brandon (As Tracey): I can see the glinting of the thing off in the distance. Follow me!

Michael: Since we've successfully landed I'd like to dispel Light from the mast head and yell out.

Eric: You walk up the beach and it's like you're walking up a sand dune. It's a little more difficult with the wind and the rain but you see the glinting come into focus is about the size and shape of a basketball and one side is glowing gold and the other side is glowing silver and it is as if there is a spotlight on it. It is on this pedestal very Grecian, this ornate pedestal right in the middle of this island that it seems like it's the direct center point of everything.

Amanda: Is that an Ionic Column, a Dendritic Column?

Eric: It's ionic column.

Amanda: Really classy

Eric: and just sitting there, glowing

Amanda: Inara is already touching the sphere.

Brandon: Tracey gets a little jealous and he also touches the sphere and nothing happens

Amanda (As Inara): Let's just grab and go back, just grab it and go back.

Michael: I bet I have to touch it too don't I...

Amanda (As Inara): Tracey lift this up and let's bring it back to the ship.

Brandon (As Tracey): OK!

Brandon: Tracey is going to try to lift the Sphere

Eric: Cool. It's pretty easy to pick up. As soon as you pick the Sphere up from the column, the ground begins to shake. And roll for initiative! Just kidding.

All: HAHAHA

Eric: As soon as you pick up the sphere, the wind stops blowing and the rain quickly picks up. And Johnny you can see from the boat that the tide is starting to calm down. And it then becomes a beautiful day. There's not a cloud in the sky. It's almost too blue. You look up and it's just like there's too much of one color. All the clouds, all the wind dispels and it is pretty much a perfect beach day.

Amanda: What is the driftwood situation? If you don't think and is going to try to sand board down this sand dune and you are gravely mistaken.

Eric: You know what. It just so happens. There is some driftwood just hanging out right to your left.

Amanda: Awesome. I'm going to grab it, toss it out in front of me and attempt to sand board down this dune. DM am i successful?

Eric: Man... Tell me your style.

Amanda: I am a natural, effortless, skater where I'm just going to very casually toss the thing in front of me and glide elegantly down the sand.

Eric: All right so let's do acrobatics.

Amanda: 13

Michael: While she's doing that. I have rummaged through the clothing that was downstairs, found a pair of sandals and now I have switched to socks and sandals and sun hat so I can enjoy the weather like a real, real dad.

Eric: Inara, you jump on the sand board and with a little bit of sloping from side to side, you successfully go down the sand dune and you just kind of skitter to a stop at the bottom and you lose your footing at the bottom and like stumble off at the bottom.

Amanda: Yeah, I'm going to do my best to recover and just dust off my clothes. Like no, nothing happened what are you looking at here?

Michael (As Johnny): Looking good over there Inara!

Michael: And I tip my sun hat!

Amanda (As Inara): Weird shoes Johnny

Michael (As Johnny): It's a style

Amanda (As Inara): that's a word for it.

Brandon: Tracey takes his sunglasses out of his pack, puts them on slowly, goes over to a piece of driftwood. pops it up like a skateboard, and gets a driftin

Eric: while you're holding the sphere?

Brandon: Yeah.

Eric: What's your style?

Brandon: I'm goofy, but I'm a street style skater guy.

Eric: You also do acrobatics

Michael: Oh my God.

Brandon: That's a natural 20.

Amanda: WOOOOO!!!

Michael: Why are we using these nat-20s on this!?!?!

Eric: Yeah. You slice it up. You just go back and forth. You ollie into a kick flip all while you're holding the sphere over your head. You get to the bottom of the dune and you just kick the board up and you stop and you say a cool thing when you hit the bottom.

Brandon (As Tracey): I Dune Did IT.

All: Oh nooooo....

Eric: And everyone just claps! Like Aw tracey yeah! Worldstar! OK. You are back at the ship, what you want to do?

Brandon (As Tracey): Hey Captain Alex we got the Sphere! Do we just go back to the shore now?

Eric: Before we get back going your DM is coming to reward you. Brando, Amanda you are now level Four!! That just means you got a little bit more to your HP and you both get ability score improvements.

Amanda: I'm feeling stronger already.

Brandon: I'm feeling more constitute... Is that a word?

Michael: Nope

Eric: Nope. You're going to go on a constitutional and add to your constitutional.

Brandon: Exactly.

Eric: And FIsh. You do not get a level up but you do get a...

Amanda: Since you spent most of this journey tied to a mast.

Michael: Woah!! Not the mast, the wheel

Eric: But you do get water vehicle proficiency. This was kind of a trial by fire so you can add that to your character sheet.

Michael: Thank you. Like you know World of Warcraft I have a new title that I can add in front of my name. 'Captain' 'wannabe captain'.

Amanda: that's just his name, the title can be anything, it's whatever you add to it man

Brandon: it's true.

Michael: I leave the title on my business cards empty, depending on who i hand it to.

Amanda: You can write it!

Michael: Exactly

Amanda: That's very good. Contextual. But you know efficient.

Michael: For Stoneface I put Best friend.

Amanda: Nice

Michael: I put that for everyone, actually.

Eric: With Captain Alex back on the wheel she turns the boat around and you are sailing back to the edge of Kiko Lake right where you started.

Amanda: I'm going to hang out in the rigging in case she needs me to grab the sail, rope, or anything like that and just watch her a little bit from the corner of my eye.

Brandon: I'm at the top of the ship just kind of like feeling the breeze through my robotic muscle wood fiber things.

Michael: Johnny's laid out on the ship's just absorbing the light and the sun and enjoying the beauty and glory that is the return of light in what was once a stormy lake.

Eric: I've got to say that this is pretty delightful. I mean this is really really nice. I mean you can look over at Captain Alex and she's just elated. She's thrown out her red hair and just like laughing into the current like her excitement is literally propelling the ship forward. And for a moment all three of you can't even remember what's happened in the last few days. Johnny as you're laid out, the wind is like running over you and you feel the sun truly for the first time in a while. Where do you feel like you are?

Michael: Johnny's thinking about, as always he's constantly thinking about the light and with the new information he has about the specific darkness that he's fighting, the shadows. He's kind of taking this moment to kind of push that aside actually and enjoy the warmth of the light and think of the first time he was embraced by the light just focusing on the the goodness in the world and I think Johnny is very excited at the fact that he'll be able to travel the land on a what seems to be an official business for politics side and he gets to travel the land in a spiritual side and together being able to do good. And I think that this is a good moment for him to kind of enjoy and excitedly prepare for it mentally, and he's old enough he's ain't afraid of his emotions he's very happy about it.

Eric: Inara, from up there in the rigging you can see the entire sky laid out in front of you. When was the last time you saw this much sky?

Amanda: It was probably a couple of years back when her clan camped out sort of like midway up a mountain. And she and her older cousins would sometimes go up to the peak to play around before dinner. But she would always be tagging along on someone else's plans and they would sometimes see her tagging behind. And you know put her up in a tree or send her home or duck under the river or something. And so she's never been somewhere like this alone. And on her own merit and with this much kind of agency and it feels really good.

Eric: Tracey you can see fish skipping up in the air and nearly high enough for you to grab them right out of the air and your wonder senses are just on fire. Has it ever been this easy?

Brandon: No, I think Tracey at the front of the boat is... he's always thinking about, he's always thinking about the future when that time will come for him when he feels like he has a family and he feels like he's actually part of something and seeing that school of fish just reminds him of that desire in him.

Eric: Captain Alex has deftly steered you, making some cool stunts just like splash some water up. She's having a great time. She steers the ship close to the shore. She does a dope like parallel park motion right up to the side of the lake and Alonzo and the Speaker are clapping wildly. Alonzo is like whooping and hollering and you can see Greg hobbling off with his big cast over one leg.

Amanda: Before Greg can get too far away Inara is going to pull the remains of the music box that she grabbed from the cabin and I'm going to hold it up over my head from my place halfway up the rigging and yell

Amanda (As Inara): Hey hey Greg did did you forget to tell us about this present you left us?

Eric: and Greg stops hobbling away. And turns around and says

Eric (as Greg): Hey congratulations, you did it. Good, good job. I have to go, do official business things. But you know the Speaker and Alonzo will take care of you. Good job. See you later.

Amanda (As Inara): I'm really glad that we got through this challenge but know that next time sabotaging us means sabotaging Alonzo and I don't think that'll be a smart move for you.

Amanda: Then i'm going to start dismounting from the rigging.

Michael (As Johnny): Hope your leg heals nicely!

Eric: Greg turned around and he starts hobbling back towards the ship and says

Eric (as Greg): Yeah I hope so. I just, I almost died two times in the last two days. So, I'm sorry that you had some trouble out on there with the storm... but it's not so easy. I just. Good job

Brandon: Tracey takes out his Great Axe and kind of like taps it in his hands while he stares daggers at Greg.

Amanda: Nice

Eric: Alonzo turns to Greg and says

Eric (as Alonzo): Greg what are they talking about? What, what is that?

Amanda: Before Greg can retort, Inara is going to jump again off the front of the boat. We can roll for that if you want.

Eric: No that's fine.

Amanda: OK great. I'm going to jump off the front of the boat and land down on the shore hopefully in like a cool kind of like crouching pose and just straighten up really smoothly, kind of toss my hair from my shoulder. I'm trying get better at the whole like swave dismount.

Amanda (As Inara): So yeah Alanzo, totally got that sphere, really pumped about it. Captain Alex, she was great. Did some cool driftwood moves I'll teach you later. So what now?

Amanda: And I'm going to look at Greg as I say those things, sort of say like listen I'm I'm saving you here buddy. Can I roll for persuasion or distraction or something I really want to try to distract Alonzo from this question.

Eric: Sure. Why don't you do persuasion

Amanda: That's a 21

Eric: Yeah Alonzo gets kind of caught by your story is all like.

Eric (as Alonzo): Yeah. Tell me all about it. What happened? Like, storms I saw from over but I really didn't really get a good, a good sense.

Eric: And while you're talking to Alonzo, the Speaker walks up to Greg and you can't really hear what she's saying but they're talking in kind of a low voice. She's speaking to him for a while and she tries to like take him over to the side. And at once Greg just kind of explodes and he says

Eric (as Greg): because I don't want him to go all right. I don't care about the realm or the stars or the States. We can't all be heroes.

Eric: And he points over at all three of you and says

Eric (as Greg): You know you three you're just people. Everything you do has to be a story to tell later. But no one asked you to be here. I was here first. You could have walked away at any moment. But this is my life. You can take the gold and the glory. That's fine. You know what. Go, save the day. Be legends for all I care. Just leave my husband alone, please.

Eric: And the speaker gives him a cold look and says

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): The people need a champion more than a husband. Greg, you can go.

Eric: Greg, he keeps opening his mouth like he's going to say something else. And at some point he just makes a huff and turns around and hobbles away and Alonzo doesn't know what to do. He's looking at everybody and he just kind of stays.

Amanda (As Inara): So dunewood sandboarding is kind of the greatest sport that the realm has ever seen. You just, you just pick up just a piece of driftwood that doesn't have to be totally flat man, doesn't have any particular proportions just big enough for two feet to stand on looking like me, it could be smaller, look at Tracey: it could be bigger.

Eric: The speaker holds up her hand and says

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): That sounds wonderful Inara and congratulations on behalf of the realm and the states, you did it! You succeeded as it were, you are the security team that we need. Thank you.

Eric: She tries to pull an arm around Alonzo and it's very awkward, like she's never done that before. Like shown anyone else affection.

Eric: And she takes you a little bit away from the lake. And there is like a little platform up there like a little raised platform like somebody made up and there's a chest with the sign of the concentric stapes the triangle with the star inside of it.

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): Just because this was a unconventional challenge doesn't mean we can't have an official ceremony. There's always time for a ceremony. Everyone come, come here.

Eric: She goes up to all of you and kind of straightens you up a little bit. Inara you're like slouching. She like pushes your back up a little bit, and Johnny she moves you right next to Inara and Tracey she tries to lead you by the hand so you're all standing like in a nice row and she brings Alonzo up on the platform with her

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): You have passed the challenge and for that we are forever grateful for what you've done for the concentric States and just as I have promised here is your reward.

Eric: She goes into the chest and she pulls out three velvet bags and kind of presents one to each one of you and as you take them each one is filled with 1000 gold pieces.

Amanda: Hey.

Brandon: Oh my God. That's more money than Tracey's ever seen his entire life.

Amanda: I don't even know if Inara knows what that is. Also I'm picturing the three of us on school picture day like awkwardly standing, like you two, Johnny and Tracey in the back row and she is kind of in front of you like, like a hand like weirdly positioned on my hip like...

Brandon (As Tracey): this was my entire year salary as a detective.

Amanda (As Inara): I don't know if I've ever seen this much money before

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): We said you would get payment and there's your payment. You're now employed by the Concentric States and for that you deserve a fair wage for the perils and dangers and situations that are coming to you in the future

Michael (As Johnny): This wage is great. But do you have anything that could help us in our travels to protect Alonzo and complete the quest.

Eric: The speaker smiles at you

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): Well if you just wait for the rest of the ceremony we can get to it. Ahem. Now it wouldn't be fair for you to be guardians of the realm without giving you some defenses on behalf of all of us here. You might need them when you're out over all of the states and we picked things that we thought would be perfectly suited for all of you. Alonzo. Open, open the chest

Eric: Alonzo goes over and pops the chest open and he takes a metallic glove out of the chest and he says

Eric (as Alonzo): Who is this for Speaker?

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): Well that is for our good friend Tracey. Tracey come on up here.

Brandon (As Tracey): AHHH!!

Brandon: And Tracey walks up to the platform

Eric: and the speaker ceremoniously gives you the glove. And she says

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): this is the Long Arm of the Law. We think that this will benefit you very well when you're catching criminals out there.

Brandon: Tracey slides the glove on and feels great.

Eric: Do you want to know it does?

Brandon: I do.

Eric: So now you do 1d6 unarmed damage when you punch with it. And when you kind of flex your hand properly the hand comes off of a chain like a flail and then unfolds like a grappling hook. So here's what you can do, when you have it activated, you can cast it like a fishing line and it can extend up to 30 feet. Then as a ranged attack you can grapple somebody, you can then pull it back, you can reel it back up to 15 feet using your move action or you can do a strength check to reel them all the way in and that's your action

Brandon: Tracey, Tracey faints.

All: HAHAHA

Brandon: He can't handle the amount of cool this is.

Eric: Alonzo comes over and says

Eric (as Alonzo): Wait. I was in, I was in a robo-tech support. I can do this. And he does a hard restart on you.

Amanda: Control-Option-P-R? Reset that N-Ram. We've all been there.

Eric: You got to turn it off and turn it on again it's fine. Tracey then gets like shoved off the side of the podium because they got to keep going. Alonzo goes back in the chest and he pulls out a cowl and it is the darkest thing that any of you have ever seen. It's like light comes into it and then it's gone.

Michael: I immediately like: (hisses)

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): Ah, the Shadow Cowl. I know who this is for, Inara, come on up here

Amanda: Inara is already on the platform. She saw it come out and jumped up!

Eric: the speaker is surprised. Please don't murder her. Please.

Amanda: I won't

Eric: Ok.

Amanda: I have to get the stuff first.

Michael: Nice threat.

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): You know this fits. It seems like it's exactly your size for our sneaky youngest member of our, of our security team

Eric: This is called The Shadow Cowl. Once per a long rest you can become one with the shadow. You gain the ability to leap from one shadow to another. You start from darkness. You have to go into darkness. As a bonus action you can teleport up to 60 feet into an unoccupied space. That's also in darkness. You go from one shadow to another and you can do this once per long rest.

Amanda: Oh my God.

Eric: You then have advantage on the first melee attack you gain.

Amanda: I'm so excited and I love to/hate that I now have a reason to pay attention to the light situation in each room!

Michael: YES!

Amanda: So Johnny and I, our fates are tied together like yin and yang

Michael: Although we are against each other fundamentally.

Eric: Johnny why are you make an Arcana check?

Michael: I got 19 in my Arcana check.

Eric: You take a look at the Shadow Cowl and you do not feel that great about it. You actually feel like there is some low level necromancy on it.

Michael: I'm not going to share that information with them though, for now.

Eric: As you're staring at the Shadow Cowl, Alonzo goes back into the chest and he pulls out a lantern and Johnny you recognize this thing pretty quickly. The lantern itself is pretty basic. It's like an oil lamp that's made out of wrought iron and looks pretty weighty but Alonzo can carry it in one hand as he's bring it over to the speaker. What's inside is, there is a fragment of some sort of light that is bouncing all over the interior of the lantern and you recognize it as a fragment of the Undying Light. The speaker says

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): we've had this in deep storage for as long as I can remember but there has never been anyone who can actually use it, Johnny we think this would be perfect for you.

Michael: Johnny kneels in front of the lantern and starts whispering to himself words that he's said many times in praise of the undying light and rises and just clutches the lantern and holds it to his body and kind of turns away from everyone to hide the kind of emotion because this is kind of a big deal.

Eric: I would say so.

Michael: It's been like, since he was a little kid has he not had a connection to the undying light as strong as this moment

Eric: and as you're hugging it the light inside stops moving and it actually starts to expand. It's about the size of a volleyball now and it just fits the container of the Lantern. Fish. This is called the Bright Lantern. This lantern has a fragment of the undying light inside that is usually manifested as an orb of some sort but you can change color and size at will. So about as small as a marble to as large as the volleyball and you can change whatever color you want. You can also pull it out to up to a medium distance away from the lantern, let's say 15 feet. The Orb also is just as resourceful as the light is to you. It can heal, it can empower, and it can blind, so you can do three things with the lantern, so you can heal by rolling 1d8 and adding your spellcasting modifier. You can add 1d6 to anyone's attack, saving throw, or check if they get touched by the light, and you can also use it as a flashbang. So if you send it within 15 feet away from you they have to do a CON save or they are blinded by the light, all of the enemies in the area. The Orb can be called upon three times per day. In all those three things. You may also stare into the light and spend at least an hour meditating for guidance. Ask it a question or it can reveal maybe something to you in a room or something deep in backstory. The speaker is actually like puts her hand on your shoulder and is trying to like ease you off of the flat. Now you're getting played off the stage. She finally just eases you off and gets you back into line.

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): All right. Well this was kind of the pre-ceremony. Take a few hours get yourself cleaned up, look as nicely as possible and meet us on the back lawn for your official champions ceremony. We're going to tell everyone that Alonzo is going out to be the champion on behalf of the Concentric States and you are all his heroic security team. We'll see you there. Don't be late. I will send someone to come get you. Thank you. This is, this is, this is wonderful, truly wonderful. Come on Alonzo.

Eric: And she starts to walk back to the castle and Alonzo kind of before he goes off he says

Eric (as Alonzo): Great job guys is going to be so much fun! OK. Yeah.

Eric: And he goes off after the Speaker.

(Music)

Amanda: Hi, Amanda here. You know that feeling when you wake up and your room is a little chilly, but under the blankets it is perfectly warm, and you can hear the leaves rustling outside your window, and then you realize that you have nowhere to be? This is that cocoon of warmth and no obligations. Welcome to the midroll.

I’m going to cut to the chase here with the most exciting announcement we’ve made so far: MERCH. We have MERCH, people, and we are so psyched. We got two designs by design druid Paola (@irrel on Twitter): the Antipolis Sailing School tee shirt Inara stole from Captain Alex last episode, and a gorgeous illustration of dice and a rulebook that says “Invite everyone to the party.” It’s our whole ethos, and I’m so stoked to get them on tank tops and sweatshirts and pillows for my house!! We got phone cases. We got notebooks. We got it all at jointhepartypod.com/merch. That’s jointhepartypod.com/merch, and you can find a link in the description of this podcast. You’ll also find a link to Paola’s Twitter, because you definitely need to follow her. And we can’t wait to see photos of you in your JTP swag.

Thank you and welcome to our new patrons, Katie, Holly Ann, Sally, and Ryan. This week in our Patron-only Discord, Renaissance Faires and a brand new cooking channel, inspired by our fantasy Chopped earlier in this story arc. It’s delightful, and if you want to join in on the fun, head on over to patreon.com/jointhepartypod

And, join us over on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram! We’re @jointhepartypod all the places. We just started a tumblr as well, jointhepartypod.tumblr.com, which is full of cool d&d stuff and definitely worth following. Last week we published a really gorgeous conversation about D&D as a storytelling tool, and our own experiences writing and making other kinds of art, on the website Electric Literature. I’ve been reading that site since high school, and to contribute to it is such an honor.

As with everything we do, our point is that roleplaying games are for everyone, and everyone can and should give them a try. If you think so too, we’d love for you to take a second and review us on Apple Podcasts. That helps us show up on search results and allow other people to find the show. Open up iTunes on your computer or the Apple Podcasts app on your iPhone, search for Join the Party, and say something nice about us! We will really truly appreciate it.

Thank you for listening! Now, let’s get back to the show.

(Music)

Eric: The official champions ceremony is going to happen this evening. So you still have a few hours. So put yourselves together, clean yourselves off, do whatever you need to do. You've been upgraded from your bunk room with the three bunk beds. You all have your own room now.

Michael: All of our stuff has been moved there including oatcake has been moved?

Eric: Yes. Oatcake is in your room (Inara's). I mean you're all next to each other but you all have your own rooms now

Amanda: adjoining suites, nice. So I'm going to greet Oatcake enthusiastically and give her a good tummy rub for being a good girl and waiting for me.

Eric: Do you want to roll for Tummy Rubs?

Amanda: If you recall i have a +1 to Tummy Rubs, since i have proficiency in it, so i will roll. That is an 8+1 for 9.

Eric: I got to say that the DC tummy rubs is very low, so you succeed on your tummy rubs

Amanda: Is the DC for tummy rubs a zero?

Eric: It's like four.

Amanda: OK. And then I want to look at the shirts that I stole from Captain Alex, like the cowls cool but I'm going to put it down. Mostly I want to see what my new wardrobe choices are here. So one if I recall correctly was the sailing school. Is that right?

Eric: Yeah. They're both these oversized T-shirts.

Amanda: Oh yeah salty and faded

Eric: One is Antopolis Sailing School.

Amanda: Nice

Eric: One of their athletic tees. And the other one you unfurl, this looks like a Merch Tee. Like you get a band or like some big event. And it says "I got punched by Elduende and all I got was a black eye and this t-shirt"

Amanda: oh my god. Ok so I'm going to fold that one up and put it back in my pack and I'm going to put on the sailing school T-shirt as I lounge in my room hanging out with oatcake and looking out the window. And then as the sun is starting to set and I sense that time is coming I'm going to get dressed in my travel gear and you know clean it all up, wash it off, and make sure that I look as presentable as possible, and as I'm getting dressed I am going to put the cloak that I got from Kohl on over my traveling gear and I realize I never actually investigated the cloak at all. So can I do it like investigation or Arcana check on it?

Eric: Ok Yeah do an Arcana check on that

Amanda: Uh that's a 5

Eric: ewww, ok yeah this thing's magical. And you realize that the patches have been sewn on, but you don't really know what those are

Amanda: Can i investigate the patches specifically?

Eric: Pick one.

Amanda: I would like to investigate the lantern. for Arcana that's 18.

Eric: You start to peel the patch off a little bit, just a little bit not to actually peel all the way off but you realize that you can if you get a good tug it would come off, and you get the sense that this is iconography. If you pull the patch off you'll have a good feeling that this lantern would probably turn into a lantern.

Amanda: Hrm... OK. So I'm going to put it on and pack my bag up. I don't know if we're leaving today or tomorrow or what. So make sure that I'm all packed and ready to go. And to hold the cloak closed over my tunic, I'm going to use my pin that was given to us by the speaker.

Brandon: Tracey is just going to go back into his room and enjoy a little solitude. Do some of the Tai-Chi movements that he usually does and reserves for the morning. But he wants to take the time to reflect and really prep himself and be ready for what he's about to do.

Eric: Tracey as you're meditating and thinking about what's going on, I want you to make a Con save for me.

Brandon: I got a non-natural 20

Eric: Ok, as you're meditating. You feel a little bit strange. You feel like you're at like one with your body in a way that you haven't thought about before. And you kind of feel like how all of your parts fit together as you're reflecting. You feel like the glove, how it fits on your hand which is attached to a joint in your wrists and your arm is attached to the rest of your body and you realize that your torso is not the same piece of machinery as your switch. The switch was actually, you're remembering was grafted onto you. This isn't like a normal part of you as it started and as you think about it, if you could gain some sort of power over the switch it would feel just as much like having a new arm that you can move. It's like a different part of your body. As you make that realization, I'm going to say that one of your 3 rages you can turn on yourself.

Brandon: Tracey extends his right arm as far as he can to his right side his left arm he brings over his head and back down to the center of his body and takes a deep breath in

Michael: as Johnny walks up to his room he casts all of the prestidigitation spells to clean himself and dry himself and feel more normal after that long storm. He sits into his room, digs through his pack to find the necessary rope to attach the lantern to the quarterstaff so that he can use it as a walking stick to help guide him and light him. And then he puts it down in front of him and he is going to meditate for a little bit to try to see how many questions he can seek guidance or answers from the undying light.

Eric: Sure thing I would say you have about three hours and I'm going to say that for every question you have to roll the 1d4

Michael: 1d4? Interesting... OK. I got 2

Eric: There you go. That's It. Three hours. You got two questions.

Michael: Oh OK. Johnny sits staring at the light. Cross-legged, hands kind of clasped together. Normally when he meditates he closes his eyes. But now he has something that he wants to look at because in his mind before he would remember the undying light but now he can see it. So he just focuses and, in his eyes it's as if the room disappears and it's just that lantern and that spark of the undying light

Eric: as you stare at the lantern you actually draw the light out of the lantern and the orb of light grows to its full size, shrinks down and kind of settles somewhere in the middle and just floats in front

Michael: and without speaking, I have just one question in my head

Michael (As Johnny): have I to the best of my ability lived my life to spread positivity and the light.

Eric: You meditate for an hour and as the hour ticks by you feel a soft voice from somewhere inside you say 'Yes'

Michael (As Johnny): Will we be able to overcome the challenges we face in the coming days.

Eric: You meditate for another hour and you still don't have another answer and you kind of look at the sun gliding across the sky and you decide that you're going to wait for another hour. And as that second hour goes by staring at the lantern the same voice inside you says 'it has not yet been foretold.' Johnny I want you to make a DEX roll for me.

Michael: 12?

Eric: As you're sitting there meditating at the end right after the light answers your second question you get hit in the head with your lamp. You have a lamp like a standing lamp in the corner and it hits you right in the head and you take five damage.

Michael: OK I'm at eight... eight

Eric: as you kind of whip around and look around, make a perception roll for me.

Michael: Only an 11.

Eric: Nah you don't see anything, and this counts as a short rest. So everyone roll your hit die and you're going to add that plus your con.

Amanda: Your girl got an 8

Michael: only 6. This isn't great.

Eric: How many hit points do you have?

Brandon: I got an 8 plus 3 for an 11 hit points

Eric: so what is your total?

Brandon: I think I'm full up, 47.

Eric: Oh hell yeah.

Michael: I'm at a 14....

All: hahaha

Michael: I'm at net plus one health here...

Amanda: 31.

Eric: You've been at total the whole time?

Amanda: Yeah. Inara's great

Michael: Rubbing my head from the wound of the lamp cursing, cursing the wind I touch the glass pane of the light and close my eyes and ask the undying light to help me as I am not as healthy as I normally should be.

Eric: All right. Make your 1d8 plus your your spellcasting level.

Michael: I rolled a five and that's plus six for an 11.

Eric: Cool. I want you to make a CON save for me.

Amanda: ewww, well that's a crit fail.

Eric: It's a crit fail? OK.

Michael: I don't want to say it.

Eric: Johnny as you have your hands on the lantern. You feel just like enveloped in light and it's really strong. You've never been this close to actually the undying light before it actually makes you kind of sick in a way that you've never felt before. And how many spell slots do you have left.

Michael: I believe I have only one.

Eric: Yeah you lose it.

Amanda: Could have been worse yall.

Michael: I mean I have my cantrips, but that's fair.

Eric: One of the guards comes up to you, all of your rooms, knocks on your door. And leads you down the stairs to the back lawn

Michael: As Johnny's walking down he takes the pen from his bag and he puts it on his belt, like one would put the little thing that you put your cell phone in?

Amanda: Holster thing?

Michael: Like a clip, cell phone belt clip.

Amanda: Wow puts me right back to the early aughts

Brandon: ultimate dad.

Michael: I'm going full dad here.

Amanda: Seriously. Seriously.

Eric: All right you get led into the back lawn and they whipped up a ceremony very quickly. There are chairs out on the lawn and people who you've seen before. Nectarias and Kikos, people from the wedding have come back. You notice that the Nectraia's and the Kiko's are actually separated which is a little weird. You don't see Greg anywhere but there's a bunch of people and you know it's all really nice. Like the tree line is picturesque behind it and you get hustled by the guards into the front of all the chairs and you're kind of like pointed to your marks and as you look around you see behind you, up a big flight of stairs is another large platform where the Speaker, Silvanas Kiko, and Alonzo are standing up there kind of like milling about before the ceremony. And there are a few guards up there as well. There there's a lot of pomp and circumstance for something they threw together a few hours. There's like a band. It's the same band from before and now they're playing a standard like government music, lots of trumpets.

Michael: As we're walking towards the podium I outstretch my arms and cast dancing lights to create four globes of light that are changing colors to help add to the pomp and circumstance of the entire event.

Eric: Alonzo knows that's your cue. So he runs over to the edge of the balcony on the platform and waves to all three of you. And the Speaker kind of like puckers her face because she's trying to just take care of the ceremony she just like waves.

Brandon: Tracey waves a little too enthusiastically back at Alonzo

Eric: standard fare of course

Amanda: Inara is ignoring the situation and trying to discern what the situation is between the Nectarians and the Kikos. Can I try to read into their body language, their seating, what the current feeling is between the families?

Eric: Sure, roll an Insight.

Amanda: That's an 8, what's wrong with my dice man? You know what I spent it on the sandboarding

Eric: The crowd... I mean they're kind of, they just don't look happy with each other. Just like grumbling and staying off to either one of their sides.

Amanda: Alright.

Eric: So you all get into your places right in the front and the Speaker begins.

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): I understand that this is the second ceremony that we've all been together for. But I think that is certainly worth it for us to be here for young Alonzo. Hahaha

Brandon (As Tracey): ha... haa.... haaa...

Amanda (As Inara): heh...he....

Michael (As Johnny): Coughs

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): Oh OK OK well. So as you've known Alonzo has been chosen to be the champion on behalf of the Concentric States taking on the mantle from his great-great-great-grandfather and his father's namesake, Sylvanus Kiko

Eric: and everyone claps except for the Nectarias, they don't clap

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): From anyone who has been around the grounds today knows, our security team for the Champion have passed their test. The first passing of the test in 200 years. Special thanks to Inara, Johnny and, Tra...Trac...

Eric: She looks down at a card

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): Tracer!

Eric: Everyone claps again.

Brandon (As Tracey): IT'S TRACEY!

Eric (as Speaker Martinsson): I'm sorry. Tracey. Tracey. They've all been given pins of the realm and they've given defender items for all of this. Now our our champion Alonzo has something to say.

Brandon (As Tracey): Whoop!

Eric: A Single whoop comes out of the crowd. Alonzo gets up to the front of the balcony and says

Eric (as Alonzo): ummm... I'd like to ummm... you know I just really want to do a good job. I know that things aren't so great everywhere but, I guess the best we can do is our best and I'll do that.

Eric: Inara please make a perception check for me.

Amanda: That's a nat-20

Eric: one of the people in the back of the audience looks really suspicious to you. And as you remember your training with the captain of the guard you're seeing this guy looks really suspicious. He's short. He's a little bit shifty keeps looking over his shoulder and with your nat-20 you see a hint of red underneath his shirt.

Amanda: I'm going to lean over and whisper to Tracey and Johnny.

Amanda (As Inara): Guys there's a Red Throat in the back of the chairs down there, what do we do?

Amanda: Before they have a chance to answer. I look around and try to see if there is a shadow near me. Is there a shadow near me?

Eric: So it's actually sunset. So with the way that the sun is coming over the castle there's actually a very large shadow has cast itself over the entire grounds.

Amanda: I want to duck down and teleport to right behind that Red Throat using my Shadow Cowl

Eric: You feel like you get sucked into the ground. It's like you're on a giant water slide and then all of a sudden you pop up and you are behind this guy.

Amanda: I want to press my dagger to his throat and whisper

Amanda (As Inara): if you make a move this will be the end of you.

Eric: I'm going to give you advantage on intimidation.

Amanda: I'm glad because the first one was a crit fail so my successful role is a 14.

Eric: OK. The guy in your hand freezes and you actually see two more in the crowd turn around and look at you and you realize that they also have the hints of red on them

Amanda (As Inara): I have more friends in this crowd than you know. Tell your men to stand down and no one needs to get killed right now.

Eric: The guy in your hand tenses up a little bit sighs and screams 'GO!' The two guys stand up pull their bows and fire at Alonzo. Alonzo, the Speaker, and Sylvanus hit the deck. Everyone starts to scream. And this is how this is going to go. The red throats are attacking the ceremony and the goal is to get to the balcony that Alonzo is on. You got to protect this dude. As a group I'm going to give you one minute in real time to come up with a battle plan for everything that gets thrown at you. You all get to do one standard action or check per character and it's all going to be simultaneous. I imagine it's like an action movie or like a turn based RPG like you are all going to act at the same time. And if you're successful you're going to move on in the next stage. But if you're not successful, you're going to... stuff is going to happen. I'm not going to tell you the number of challenges we go through. But I'm also going to tell you that your goal ultimately is to get to Alonzo. So you don't necessarily have to kill everybody but you've got to get through this thing and eliminate the challenge. I'm also going to say that one person needs to take the lead on each one. So like one of you needs to be at the forefront for all these things. The first challenge you have to figure out how to neutralize the three men in the crowd. I put one minute on the clock. Three two one go.

Michael: I absolutely think that Tracey has to go and literally be bodyguard because he has the most health and AC of us to Alonzo.

Amanda: Yeah just stand in front of him. I am not going to kill this guy. I'm going to take my dagger across his throat and hope it's a shallow cut. If not, too bad and I'm going to run out to the next guy, the guy who's nearest to me.

Brandon: Yeah I want to run towards Alonzo and I want to blow my help horn and try to get Stoneface and his Bumbleades over here

Michael: So hopefully I'm kind of near one of them because I can, Shillelagh is a bonus action so I'm going to be able to actually just later be able to hit with a Shillelagh but right now I'm going to Sacred Flame one of these guys and that just surrounds them in fire doing damage and also surrounds them with a flame like radiance.

Amanda: Wait, we are in a crowd

Michael: but it only surrounds an individual. that's the good news.

Amanda: Great so you're going to get the guy closest to you. I'm going to run after the guy closest to me after I try to incapacitate the one I'm holding

Michael: and I'm going to Shillelagh so that eventually if I have to physically attack someone that does extra damage.

Eric: All right good. Let's make the rolls. Inara, you're going to have a sneak attack advantage so make the roll against his AC

Amanda: So my attack roll was an 8.

Eric: I'm going to say that even with him in your hands you wrenches himself free but you get him with the dagger.

Amanda: So that's 1d4 plus 3 per dagger. So that's 5 and 4.

Eric: OK. And then add 2d6

Amanda: A 6 and a 4, so 10 plus 9 for 19 total.

Eric: Yeah you definitely slash him a little bit and he gets out of there. He's looking bad but not, definitely not neutralized. Johnny hit him with Sacred Flame.

Michael: So the first thing actually is a bonus action of Shillelagh emanating from the lantern. And then I point my Quarterstaff at the closest red throat gang member and cast sacred flame. The target has to succeed a DEX saving throw.

Eric: Great. Ooo, yeah he does not succeed.

Michael: There is 1d8 radiant damage for a 7 plus 4 for 11 damage.

Eric: All right the guy gets toasted. He's down and out. He was not expecting you to light him on fire. So he's neutralized. For Help Horn, Make a charisma role, Tracey

Brandon: 15

Eric: you blow the horn and sound rings out over the field but nothing happens immediately.

Brandon: And then I'm going to run towards Alonzo with my shield in front of me.

Eric: All right. The one red throat with the bow and the one you just slashed both run away from you and pull out bows and one is going to shoot at Inara and one is going to shoot at Johnny. Inara. I got 18 against your AC.

Amanda: My AC is 14.

Eric: All right. So you take 6 damage. And Johnny... non-natural 20.

Michael: I mean I've had 13. So...

Eric: All right. You also get 6.

Michael: That's a good thing I did that heal...

Eric: All right. I'm going to put one more minute on the clock, go!

Michael: So now that Tracey is protecting Alonzo I think the important part is that we kill these guys.

Amanda: For sure.

Michael: I'm able to either Eldritch Blast because everyone's down or do just another sacred flame and hit this guy. What are you going to do?

Amanda: I'm going to use my longbow and shoot right back at him.

Michael: Is there anything you want to specifically do Tracey?

Brandon: I can throw a dagger. But I don't know if that would be like interrupting my movement.

Eric: I mean you're running and it would be pretty far away.

Brandon: Yeah that's what I thought, I honestly don't have anything else

Michael: I think you just need to get to Alonzo and protect him.

Amanda: Just stand over him

Michael: I'm going to either eldritch blast or sacred flame, is there anyone in the crowd in the way?

Eric: No everyone is running away, the crowd has scattered.

Amanda: Great let's do it Johnny.

Eric: OK. I'm going to say Tracey, if you continue to run there's this big flight of stairs. It is about 60 feet. So you made it to the stairs and now you are on the stairs. Do you want to go up the stairs? Or do you want to stay at the bottom?

Brandon: I want to go up the stairs.

Eric: OK. Let's see, it's very long. So you're in the middle of the stairs. OK.

Amanda: I just got a nat-20 on my longbow attack

Eric: You send an arrow right in this guy's stomach, and he's down.

Amanda: Ok

Eric: Two neutralized.

Amanda: I'm going to make a long arc around the remaining foe knowing that Johnny is about to try something that has a large radius damage and run toward the stairs.

Michael: I'm going to cast Eldritch blast on the remaining bow dude.

Eric: Cool.

Michael: Woof that's a 9

Eric: Yeah that Eldritch blast wings off to the side and goes in the trees.

Michael: Ok

Eric: All right. This challenge is over. Out of the tree line. You hear the stomping of hooves that you remember from before. And there are two Centaurus with one halfling riding on its back and the other halfling that was sprinting away then hops on the other one's back and circle you up. And every time you try to jump and get out of the way and you feel like there's a centaur in front of you. As the Centaurs are rounding you all up Inara you kind of get taken off your path as you're running towards the stairs and Johnny and Inara you're now within ten feet of each other and being encircled by the Centaurs. I'll put one minute on the clock and go.

Michael: If no one has a good idea I'm just going to Sacred flame one of these guys because it's just a DEX save for them, otherwise, do either of you want the empowering? either of you need or want that?

Amanda: No. Can I use my Shadow thing again or is it once a day?

Eric: No, once a day

Michael: actually no, I'm in the sacred flame the guy with the bow because that's the immediate danger for Alonzo

Amanda: and I'm going to shoot my longbow that one of the centaurs

Brandon: and I'm going to keep running. It's good cardio.

Eric: All right, Inara go first!

Amanda: 19 + 5 for a 24

Eric: Yeah you hit the center right in the meat of the stomach and the centaur has trouble keeping its footing and is not able to circle up anymore.

Amanda: should i roll damage?

Eric: Yeah.

Amanda: So my 1d8 is a 6 + 3 for a 9. And because the Centaur hasn't taken a turn yet I get advantage right? Yeah that's a 4 plus a 6 for a 10. So in total it's 18.

Eric: You take the thing out, the Centaur can't keep its footing and falls over.

Michael: I'm going to cast a Sacred Flame on the other Centaur. They need to succeed a DEX saving throw.

Eric: I've got a natural 20.

Michael: Oh wow. Yeah sure.

Eric: As the Centaur is galloping you fire the sacred bolt and it misses off to the left and hits a tree and it explodes.

Brandon: Tracey's going to continue running up to the flights of stairs.

Eric: Yeah. So now you're up next to Alonzo up at the top and you can see the entire battlefield as it is now in front of you.

Brandon: So I run up to Alonzo and I kind of cover him pushing down on the ground and cover both of us with my shield.

Eric: OK. That's great, Tracey. Up that high you hear flapping

Brandon: I love flapping!

Eric: And there's a buzzing sound. And as you look up you see Stoneface and six Bumbleades are dive bombing towards the Centaurs and Stoneface yells out

Eric (as Stoneface): Eyyyy if you mess with my crew. You mess with me. Let's go team! He and two of the Bumbleades full on tackle the centaur and that thing is taken out. Challenge completed. The halfling that was riding on top of the Centaur that Inara messed up hops off and pulls a flute out of his bag and he plays the flute and a swarm of birds dives out of the treeline. Now these birds are nothing that you've seen before. They actually have the same look as a bumbleades but instead of white they're black and instead of the proboscis mouths that the bumbleades have, these things have giant shiny teeth, there are six of them come out of the treeline. Four of them dive at Inara and Johnny and two of them go towards the balcony. I will put one minute on the clock. Your challenge is to deal with these things. Go ahead.

Amanda: I'm going to shoot the Halfling that's playing the flute. Let's see if that stops the birds or it sends them away but you should blast them Johnny.

Michael: I mean yeah...

Amanda: Hope you roll better

Michael: It'll be Eldritch or sacred flame. I'll try and Eldritch blast it

Amanda: Tracey what are you going to do?

Brandon: I'm going to ready an action to pull out my great axe and get ready to recklessly attack these birds as they dive, because that is my first attack

Michael: and I'm going to be last. I'm going to go after Inara goes, if that doesn't stop everything I'm going to Eldritch blast as many as you'll let me, which will probably just be one.

Amanda (As Inara): And I'm going to stand behind you

Eric: alright cool. Go ahead Inara.

Amanda: 14 plus 5 for 19.

Eric: All right you hit the Halfling square in the leg.

Amanda: I got a 1d8. 8 plus 3 for an 11.

Eric: OK you hit this halfling in the leg but he does not stop playing the flute.

Michael: Well then I'd like to attack this Halfling. I'll do an eldritch blast at the Halfling.

Eric: All right go ahead.

Michael: That is a 15.

Eric: Yeah, it hits him.

Michael: And this is a 1d10 force plus charisma, that is a 9 plus 4 for a 13

Eric: you blast this guy and he's looking real bad but he does not stop playing the flute. He is holding on to this thing for dear life. Tracey what do you do?

Brandon: Can I attack or are they too far away.

Eric: They are thirty feet away.

Brandon: Ok so i'm going to ready my action. Pull out my great axe. And just like stand in a pose ready to swipe at these things

Eric: Cool. each of these messed up bumbleades are going to dive at each one of you. The two messed up bumbleades are diving at you but they roll, both roll below your AC.

Amanda: So I'm going to duck and they miss me.

Eric: Yeah they totally whiff. Johnny, one really comes right at you and actually hits the ground right in front of you and messes itself up. But the other one as you're watching that happen hits you right in the chest with the tackle and hits you for six damage and knocks you prone. Tracey the two messed up bumbleades dive right at you and you're going to take a swing at both of them.

Brandon: Yeah but I'm going to flip my axehead. So I'm actually just hitting them with like the flat end.

Eric: OK. That makes it blunt, it will make it bludgeoning damage.

Brandon: 17 plus 5 for a 22

Eric: Oh hell yeah. I'm going to say you hit both of them out of the air and those two things hit the ground. Good job. There are three messed up bumbleades still flying around. One hit the ground right in front of you. Tracey just took out two of them. You have three. one minute on the clock.

Michael: And where are they in relation to us? they're just in the air.

Eric: They're flying around.

Michael: What's their literal distance from us?

Eric: Five feet up within 15 feet.

Michael: I'm going to blind these guys then. I mean my worry is not blinding myself or Inara but I'm going to blind these guys because they are in the air.

Amanda: I'm going to attempt to disengage and run at again the Halfling that apparently will not die. And I'm going to try to grab the flute out of his hand and snap it over my knee.

Brandon: Eric I need a lay of the land. Is there a ceiling? Is there a roof? Is there a building next to me is?

Eric: Nah, this is like a raised platform. This is like made for this ceremony. And there are the stairs go up.

Brandon: Is there any buildings within 30 feet of me.

Eric: Yeah the castle

Brandon: is it within 30 feet?

Eric: Yeah.

Brandon: Can I grapple, and try to like...

Eric: Who are you grappling? There's no one to grapple

Brandon: I want to shoot my...

Amanda: are you going to hold Alonzo like a baby on your chest and grapple yourself up the wall?

Brandon: I was going to yeah shoot my hand over to the castle wall and try to go over there.

Eric: Hell yeah let's try it.

Brandon: OK.

Eric: All right cool.

Michael: You going to Batman this thing.

Brandon: All right, yeah Batman it. Thank you.

Eric: Who wants to go first?

Amanda: I will. I am going to run over to the Halfling and try to grab the flute out of his hand.

Eric: OK. You'd run over chairs like hop over and this thing, I mean this halfling is very very hurt but it is still like holding on for dear life under this flute. But I'm going to give you advantage because this thing is so messed up.

Amanda: I got 12 initially and then i crit-failed so a 12!

Eric: yeah you rip the fluid out of its hands

Amanda: I am going to smash it over my knee. Snap it in 2

Eric: So I wanted to make a strength check for this. I'll give you athletics too

Amanda: so 14.

Eric: I mean you don't break it but you did take it out of his hands and you try to snap it over your knee and you make a crack in it. But the more important thing is it's not playing it anymore. And all the messed up of bumbleades look really really confused.

Michael: I slam my quarterstaff down and pointed towards the messed up bumbleades flying in the air and to myself think 'Blind.'

Eric: A blinding light goes off and I'm going to give them all a disadvantage because they are messed up from not having any direction from the flute. They all fail real bad and they were blinded. They tried to fly away and they all kind of hit each other all the same time. Johnny I want you to make another CON save.

Michael: Nat-20

Amanda: Nat-20

Eric: OK. You feel like you're interacting with this thing for the first time and you feel a little overcome and you kind of you brush it off and you feel good. And you see all three of them messed bumbleades run into each other. Tracey do it, what are you going to do?

Brandon: I'm going to scoop up Alonzo into my arms hold out my right arm with the Long Arm of the Law on it and aim it towards the nearest precipice on the castle and try to grapple over there Inspector Gadget Style.

Eric: Let's first try to see.

Amanda: Dex?

Eric: If you grab the wall and then we'll see if you grab Alonzo

Brandon: 6 plus 1 for a 7?

Eric: You gas this thing as far as you can and the hand at the end of the Long Arm of the Law tries to grab onto the building and it just does not latch on.

Amanda: Would you say that the Long Arm of the Law overreached itself?

Eric: I would probably say that yes. You did it! the bumbleades are all messed up! All six of them!

Michael: Brap Brap

Eric: Brap Brap. You see three guys come from the other side of the castle and they all have their Red Throat gang bandanas on. And there are hoofing it up the stairs and they're going right for Alonzo. Put one minute on the clock and go.

Brandon: All right so immediately I can do two things, I can like try to barricade the staircase with some chairs or I can try to make my grapple again to the castle.

Michael: I think I like the idea of you grappling because...

Brandon: Or just go into a rage and just barrel down the stairs with my shield in front of me and knock everyone down.

Amanda: Will my ball bearings have disadvantage on the grass?

Eric: Yeah probably.

Michael: I think regardless of what you want to do, I'm going to empower you to make it easier for you to do it.

Brandon: Please do.

Eric: I would also say Inara, if you manage to throw them onto the stairs that might work.

Amanda: OK great. I'll do that.

Michael: So first thing I'm going to do is going to empower you, Tracey.

Brandon: Is that an action?

Michael: That's my action, is to empower you.

Brandon: That's your turn.

Michael: That would be my turn is to direct the light to that

Brandon: Cool

Amanda: Is Stoneface back from his dive? I would love to give the marbles to him to drop on the stairs.

Eric: Yeah we can do that. Dang one minute is up. Oh hell yeah let's do it. Who wants to go first?

Amanda: I'll go first.

Eric: OK.

Amanda: I'm going to call over to Stoneface hopefully as recovered from dive bombing that Centaur and the Halfling.

Eric: Yeah the other bumbleades have scattered but Stoneface has picked himself up. And even like shook off his wings from all the crap that he got in it. He is like

Eric (as Stoneface): Yeah what you need? Let's do it.

Amanda (As Inara): Stoneface, Stoneface! Come here

Amanda: and I pull the ball bearings that I have out of my pack and I hold them over my head so he can come and grab them

Amanda (As Inara): come and take this pouch and upend it over the stairs. If the Red Throat Gang gets that far to trip them up as they're trying to run up the stairs.

Eric (as Stoneface): OK you got it boss

Eric: and he grabs them and he starts to fly over to the stairs.

Michael: I direct the lantern of the undying light towards Tracey and I think to myself 'give him strength' and I am going to empower him. Adding a 1d6 to whatever he wants to do with it.

Eric: The light flies out of the lantern and actually the light touches you on the side and Tracey you glow in nice magenta

Brandon: Beautiful. So I am going to throw Alonzo to the edge of the balcony as far away from the staircase as possible. I'm going to take a slow deep breath and put my shield in front of me activate my one self rage and barrel down the staircase.

Eric: Here's what I'm going to say. Johnny I want you to make perception roll

Michael: 8 plus 2 for a 10

Eric: Johnny you look over to the three guys hoofing up the stairs. Two of them don't really see Tracey and just keep running towards Alonzo. But one of them stops like he's trying to hear something and he stops running. And he starts to back away down the stairs.

Eric: Tracey, so the two guys are cresting over the stairs why don't you run at them?

Brandon: I run at them!

Eric: Do it just like a melee attack

Brandon: I rolled a 7 plus 3 for 10 and then I add Johnny's 6...

Michael: That's a 3...

Brandon: That's a 3 so its 13.

Eric: All right you go to a full on rage mode. Are you leading with your shield? What are you doing?

Brandon: Yeah I'm just trying to like kind of like a bowling ball just like knock these guys off the stairs.

Eric: I would say with a 13 you actually throw yourself down the stairs like you leave your feet and you knock these guys down and you all kind of are tumbling down the stairs together. You don't take any damage but you definitely rolling down the stairs and those two guys have taken out. The third one who stopped, sees you coming down and he's backing away and like jumps off to the side like up on the railing and misses the bowling ball of Tracey and these two thugs.

Michael: Is there a screen that pops up with a fun little animation based on the results of this like bowling?

Brandon: A split!

Michael: And it's a banana that gets cut in half. Yeah. Or it's a weird face of someone none of us recognize because we aren't like 100 years old.

Amanda: Someone getting punched and they only have two teeth left in their mouth.

Eric: And then Stoneface drops the ball bearings right behind the third thug. He does not see what's happening and falls backwards on his butt and he is taken out. So that split then gets another animation on top of it where it's like the banana falls off and someone says 'Spare.'

Amanda: Nice.

Michael: Nice.

Eric: And you have accomplished all four challenges. Congratulations.

Amanda: Ayyyy! that was very stressful.

Eric: Tracey you pick yourself up after barreling down the staircase and your danger sense just goes off and you're looking around for what's going to happen next. Johnny, Inara you're also on high alert and you hear a horn ring out. And out of the trees you see just a mob of Red Throat gang members. They all have their red bandanas on. They all look angry and they are all running towards the platform. Alonzo is surrounded by his semi circle of guards. And he can't really see what's going on so he finally pushes them out of the way and gets the front of the balcony and looks at the mob that's running towards them. He leans over the balcony and looks at everything that's happened. The audience that is assembled before, his family, is just running scared. And there are bodies surrounding all of you of just people you've taken out in order to defend him. And he looks out at the mob running towards him and he screams

Eric (as Alonzo): You want me? You want to take home a champion? Well here I am! Just come and take me!

Eric: And at that point the medallion starts to spin and glow and spin faster and faster and faster and right in the field where the mob of halflings are running. The air is filled with spinning daggers each one gleaming in the fading light. They spin and cut down each one, some run right into the blades. The rest of them just scatter to the back of the woods and just go. Alonzo falls to his hands and knees. His breathing is ragged and labored. And he looks down and now the medallion has stopped spinning. He doesn't remember when it started or how long but he climbs up on the railing and turns to Tracey at the bottom of the stairs and says

Eric (as Alonzo): What happened? Where did they go?

Eric: He looks over to where the fallen Red Throat gang are, and pool of red is spreading through where they were in the back lawn.

Eric (as Alonzo): No... they were. I mean that was me. I'm responsible. I did that.

Eric: All three of you look up in the sky that is darkening into twilight. And you look up at the constellation that started this entire mess. And you see another star wink out. Three hang in the sky.

Michael: The party doesn’t stop here! The day after every episode comes out we publish the Afterparty, where we sit down to discuss what just happened and learn what could have happened. Send us your questions anytime.

Brandon: Join our community online by following @jointhepartypod on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. We’ve also got every episode up on our website, jointhepartypod.com; and you can email us questions or stories anytime at hitusup@jointhepartypod.com.

Amanda: If you’re enjoying this ride as much as we are, help the show out by subscribing to us in iTunes and leaving a quick rating. For even more Join the Party goodness, check out our Patreon. Just a few dollars will get you access to drawings, character backstories, bloopers, and so much more at patreon.com/jointhepartypod.

Eric: We’ll see you in two weeks. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.