Second Lord. Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge,
1735without any malice, but to speak of him as my
kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and
endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner
of no one good quality worthy your lordship's
entertainment.
1740

First Lord. It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in
his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some
great and trusty business in a main danger fail you.

First Lord. None better than to let him fetch off his drum,
1745which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.

Second Lord. I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly
surprise him; such I will have, whom I am sure he
knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink
him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he
1750is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when
we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship
present at his examination: if he do not, for the
promise of his life and in the highest compulsion of
base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the
1755intelligence in his power against you, and that with
the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never
trust my judgment in any thing.

First Lord. O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum;
he says he has a stratagem for't: when your
1760lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to
what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be
melted, if you give him not John Drum's
entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed.
Here he comes.
1765

[Enter PAROLLES]

Second Lord. [Aside to BERTRAM] O, for the love of laughter,
hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch
off his drum in any hand.

Parolles. It is to be recovered: but that the merit of
1785service is seldom attributed to the true and exact
performer, I would have that drum or another, or
'hic jacet.'

Bertram. Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur: if you
think your mystery in stratagem can bring this
1790instrument of honour again into his native quarter,
be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on; I will
grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you
speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it.
and extend to you what further becomes his
1795greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your
worthiness.

Parolles. I'll about it this evening: and I will presently
1800pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my
certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation;
and by midnight look to hear further from me.

Second Lord. No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a
strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems
to undertake this business, which he knows is not to
be done; damns himself to do and dares better be
damned than to do't?
1815

First Lord. You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it
is that he will steal himself into a man's favour and
for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but
when you find him out, you have him ever after.

Bertram. Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of
1820this that so seriously he does address himself unto?

Second Lord. None in the world; but return with an invention and
clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we
have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall
to-night; for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect.
1825

First Lord. We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case
him. He was first smoked by the old lord Lafeu:
when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a
sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this
very night.
1830

Bertram. That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once
And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her,
By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind,
1840Tokens and letters which she did re-send;
And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature:
Will you go see her?