no offence to anyone, but i already have most of the story laid out in my head, and, although your suggestions are great, i don't etirly need them, and some of you are giving suggestions that where planned in the original story and kinda giving it away for other people, thanks for getting so into the story though

Author's response

Dorry allow me to reprase that, suggestions about my writing as a whole is encuraged, just this specific story has picked the intrest of alot of people, encureging messages are cool to