Ron Johnson doing the least amount of work in the Senate

Washington--Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin promised that he would fix America and that he would work hard to fix the tax code, but that was just doublespeak for hiding in his office, while staring at his poster of Ayn Rand.

"I spent a lot of energy trying to sound like a Tea Party guy when I was running against Russ Feingold, and I made a lot of promises, but the people that elected me shouldn't be surprised I don't like to work. I married a rich woman so I didn't have to work, and now I have a nice government job where I really don't have to do anything for four or five years. I can't remember how many years a Senator is in office." Ron Johnson told Spoof reporters.

Ron Johnson isn't an ambitious man when it comes to fixing America and the tax code he knows so much about because of his accounting background; however, he likes to talk a lot about fixing the tax code, he hasn't introduced any bills to fix it. He really hasn't introduced any bills to the Senate, except one that would end federal regulations until employment reaches 7.7percent.

Ron Johnson might think people collecting unemployment are lazy because they can't find a job, but he doesn't think he is lazy for just collecting a government check for doing nothing all day, except for showing up to his office.

"It usually takes years for a politician to realize that it is bad for their political future to introduce legislation, to laypeople it might seem lazy, but for someone that wants to make a career of politics, it is pure genius. Just look at Obama, he did the least, but talked the most, and critics really had no ammunition against him, so he was able to talk his way into the White House." Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said.

Ron Johnson did say that once he was done reading "Atlas Shrugged," which he started when Congress was on vacation, that he hoped to maybe introduce some legislation on some important social issues of the day, but wouldn't give specifics on what social issues.

Make UWGB-Beek's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Washington, DC -- Unannounced presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had more than a few good reasons for operating her own email server while she served as Secretary of State. Unfortunately, they were all on that server, which has malfunctioned and...

WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday.
"We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...

MYLITTLEPO, NY (Tengu Windwaker) -- Angela Candelabra, aged 15, the girl who claimed to "die" for almost a day to "see heaven and hell" who also had a video that made Fundamentalists fight other religions through shocking testimonies which look like...

Santa Barbara - Dick Cheney told Playboy Magazine that Barack Obama was the worst President ever, so Al Gore phoned up Penthouse Magazine and demanded they interview him, so he could return the favor.
"Dick Cheney is the worst Vice-President ever,...

Manfred, New Hampshire - This small town of 750 has finally found a replacement for Bill Hicks, the 92 year old member of the local water commission who suffered a massive stroke during a commission meeting last February. Ms. Jean Seymore, a local r...

Washington DC - The widow of Joe Allbritton, sometime owner of one of America's most corrupt banks, is acting as official hostess to a totally spurious four day visit by roughneck Brit scroungers Charles and Camilla.
Barbara Allbritton heads the t...

Washington DC - Calling his cock a "massive pressure valve," former President Bill Clinton said that his sexual escapades with teenage Latin American prostitutes will "continue unabated" because they are his "only source of psychological release."...

TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese.
Obese people make 72 cents...