Penguin on Porpoise

Thursday, 18 May 2017

A: Because, after six years, four Bloggie nominations, and 2159 posts, the writer is concluding this blog.

B: You know, you're meant to answer questions with a pun here. Not just bragging.

A: I'm sorry!

B: We talked about this. We agreed you could do the last one. I gave you the set-up and everything.

A: I've never been much good at them.

B: Yeah, you're no pun.

A: There it is!

B: You liked a pun of mine?

A: The thing is, B - we're talking about how close to we are to the end. But I've realised, over these last six years, how close we are to a friend.

B: Aw. That's wholesome. Seems like the writer is in a better place than he was when he started this.

A: Hoo boy, he would not have been able to believe in such a pure and happy statement in those days.

B: I mean, how messed up do you have to be to start a pun blog?

[They both chuckle.]

A: We should thank the readers too.

B: Yes! Thank you for giving us a space to exist, and for helping the writer to learn that he could make things that other people would like and want.

A: What happens next, B?

B: We'll still have our chats - they might not always be recorded in the blog, but we'll exist where we always do.

A: And the writer?

B: I'm sure he'll keep playing with words, even if his thoughts don't appear here every day. He's ending Penguin on Porpoise, but he'll never stop punning on purpose.

[A and B walk off together into the sunset, and if they listen very carefully to the unusual disturbance in the lapping of the ocean to their side, they will hear a small, fat bird squawking with joy as it rides a large, smiling creature, up and down the length of the waves.]

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

"Why aren't we chasing after that board game? We know that he wrote his plans on the general knowledge questions."

Sherlock sighed.

"Elementary, my dear Watson. Our main clue is the letter with the directions to his hideout. That will lead us straight to our suspect, while tracing the path of the missing board game will merely add a summary offence to his list of charges."