There is a level of customizing at which the word ‘souping-up’ should never even cross our minds. Just have a look at this mess, currently for sale on Ebay.

„Hello, I have for auction my 1982 BMW 320i” – goes the advertisement posted by the Oklahoma owner, who in the next sentence introduces it as a “street legal” race car suitable for traffic. True, the stock 1.8-litre in-line four engine has been replaced by a 3.5-litre straight-six. The transformation did include a significantincrease in power, but this alone certainly doesn’t entitle this freak to go anywhere near a racetrack.

It’s hard to decide if the prize for the most shocking feature should go to the finish of the fender extensions or the traces left of the A-pillar after the removal of the roof. And there is so much more to marvel at in this car giving BMW a bad name. Further interesting elements include the aluminium-clad dashboard and the duct tape covering the steering wheel, but virtually every bit of the passenger compartment is a testament to the handyman’s magnificient talent.

The current bid is $5,000, which is the starting price. That someone would waste more than this or even just this much on this horror is beyond belief, never mind the bonus of a set of Recaro seats to whoever should hit “place a bid” button.