Rehosted and hotlinked webcomics will be removed, unless you are the creator. Please submit a link to the original comic's site, and possibly a mirror in the comments. Tumblr-exclusive comics are the exception, and may be rehosted, however if the artist's name or watermark are removed, the post will be removed. (*)(*)

14. No SMS or Social Media Content (including Reddit)

This includes direct linking to reddit threads, reddit comments, other subreddits, facebook profiles, twitter profiles, tweets, embedded tweets, and screenshots of the above, including text messages, omegle, instagram and others. This also includes any other sites that may be considered social network sites. Please read the announcement.

Hate speech and bigotry will be removed at the moderators' discretion.

Serial reposters will be banned.

Bots and bot-like accounts are not allowed

What do I do if I see a post that breaks the rules?

Click on the report button, and send us a message with a link to the comments of the post.

What should I do if I don't see my post in the new queue?

If your submission isn't showing up, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

I'm 22 and work with a bunch of 50+ year old ladies. For over a year now food disappears from the kitchen at an alarming rate. It boggles my mind that a bunch of old ladies steal each others food on a daily basis.

You should put unlabeled containers with food filled with laxatives. If anyone finds out it was you and complains, say it was your doctor's orders. If no one says anything, have fun watching their insides boil with explosive shit.

I was told a story about a police officer who did this to his brownies. Two fellow officers had to be treated for rectal prolapse because they ate his food. The officer that brought the brownies in was suspended and charged (with what I don't know). So I wouldn't do it.

It can lead to charges. When I worked in a prison my boss was a Cuban doctor. He could not take US medical boards but could practice medicine in a federal facility. He had been assigned to a federal prison in South Florida early in his career, after he'd escaped Castro, and was assigned to night shift. They had a correctional officer who would stop by the clinic when they were doing rounds and steal food. It really frustrated them. So he made a pan of laxative brownies. Well this guy not only stole them he shared them with every other correctional officer on the shift. Lots of people got sick. The guy had to admit he stole the brownies but no one in the clinic would admit who brought them in. Ultimately no one got in trouble or fired, even though it was common knowledge my friend had brought them in. But no food ever got stolen again, which was the goal.

Wait what? Laxatives can cause prolapsing? Also, why is the officer responsible for keeping his food from the hands of others? If I left my medication out and another adult decided to take it I would be responsible?

Same thing here ... bunch of women who are delighted to find things to take. All I want is to have my milk left in peace so I can add it to my coffee at the office. I don't like creamer crap. Every time I'd pull out my milk, it was either a) half gone or b) watered down to make it LOOK like it wasn't a) half gone. Finally, I made a decision: I added 2-3 drops of blue food coloring to it and then slapped a sticker on that said "medicated, don't drink!". The fact it was pale blue was less of a consequence to me (I got used to it) but it was not touched after that.

That doesnt sound very effective to me. People are more evil than you and gives less fucks than you can imagine.

Im just going to stick to my method - scratch off some bread mold and mix in food, along with ants I catch in my kitchen. And make sure to put a photo at the bottom of the container revealing all of this. I was always inspired by this old video I saw of a guy who hated his family so much that he paid a bunch of dudes to jerk off into a pie. Then he video taped them eating it. Then showed them the tape of the dudes jerking off into the pie. Hes doing it right.

As someone who used to be a kid, I would have eaten someones food, known I did something wrong, tried my best to lie and hide it, when I was caught I would get upset and disagree with my chosen punishment.

One time when I was five I drank my dad's grapefruit pop while he wasn't looking and then I hid in the stairwell and cried because I felt so guilty until he came and found me. He just laughed because dads.

In many places I've worked management are underpaid pussies unwilling to do jack shit about anything, no matter how blatant an issue is, and no matter how many different complaints get brought to them.

You may have to spend some time building up a tolerance, but the first time some one bites into your lunch and has to spend the next 20 minutes trying to stop the pain you have officially won the lunch wars.

This is how you get sick and/or die. Please stop keeping your food in a lab fridge. CLIA 88 was passed for a reason.
-although I have heard that a potato cooked in an autoclave is delicious.
Fuck it, never mind.

Lab space is a loose definition. More of a workbench/staging area. There are no chemicals or even hazards in the entire area, and the refrigerator is in just a backroom storage area. Never had a word said about it during our monthly safety inspections. It is clearly labeled with the standard "Food storage only: No Chemicals" sign.

Who cares? They deserve to be embarrassed. If I knew someone was stealing my lunch I would go out of my way to humiliate them. A few years ago I had a roommate who ate everone else's food, so we started calling him 'the cheeseburglar'. The name stuck, and he got called that everywhere he went...I wonder whatever happened to that guy?

Well you could pull a "Tom Lawlor." He's a good friend of mine in the UFC that was on one of the seasons of The Ultimate Fighter. The other team kept eating his fruit platter that was delivered everyday. Eventually he got mad and pissed in it. They ate it.

This happened to a friend of mine. In addition to having his food eaten the thief would leave comments like, "needs salt". To get justice, one morning my friend put used kitty litter in his sandwich. The thief left one final comment, "food wasn't so good this time".

Does this happen a lot? With our company taking anything that belongs to someone else is considered theft and could lead to dismissal.

In 15 years I've only had some Sprite stolen. A few other people were missing things from the fridge over the course of a couple of weeks. Eventually one of the cleaning contractors was caught. The cleaning company's contract was terminated.

I bought a gallon of ice cream one day and stuck it in the freezer. This was at night. It was Blue Bell--I like the good stuff. I walked in the very next morning and was shifting around stuff in the freezer, looking for some bacon to thaw. When I moved the ice cream... it seemed entirely too light.

I opened it up and found 2 tiny scoops worth of ice cream at the bottom.

Apparently my morbidly obese roommate had decided that she was hungry and had devoured a GALLON of ice cream over the course of the night. My other roommate saw this and was livid as it was his friend and he was the one who convinced me to allow her to move in. He went in there and reamed her for half an hour. She then got her boyfriend to go out and buy two more gallon tubs of Blue Bell ice cream. One to replace mine, and the other to eat that night.

Someone once ate my tuna sandwich that I had packed for lunch. So the next day, I packed a cat food sandwich. I saw it was missing from the fridge and checked the garbage. Sure enough, there it was with one bite missing and the spit wad next to it. My food hasn't been touched since.

"Dear whoever has been eating my lunch everyday. I have been putting small amounts of marijuana in my lunch for the past 2 weeks. Remember that drug test a few days ago? That was an anonymous tip about employees using illicit drugs. Checkmate."

At an old place of employment I would occasionally bring in personal pizzas and toss them in the freezer until I was hungry, and I'd heat them up. I was the only one on the shift that brought those in.

I never had a problem with it, until one day I went into the break room to get my pizza and caught some guy from a different office taking my pizza out of the microwave. I forget exactly what I said, but it was along the lines of "That better not be the pizza I put in the freezer."

He gave it back. I had a talk with his supervisor anyway. Fuck thieves.

People stealing my food is an offense worthy of death unless you can make me laugh within 4 seconds. This has only been achieved once, I bought a burger from 5 guys (was my first time having it) and had to go help a customer. I get back and about a 3rd is missing with giant chomps taken out. Her mouth was completely full she looked me dead in the eye and said "we have mice" and ran off.

One day I bought two giant meatballs from Buca Di Beppo and ate one for dinner and saved the other for lunch. My roomate had invited another guy to move in (without consulting me) and that guy had imvited another guy to move in (without consulting anybody). So I went to get my meatball amd it was gone and the culprit was this third guy who I hadn't even spoken to nor knew his name yet (I was working a lot and notaround much). I was pissed, asked him wh amd he said, "I didn't know who it belonged to, so I ate it." I went nuts: "Was it yours? No! Did you pay for it? No! So it doesn't matter who it belongs to, it doesn't belong to YOU!"

We need someone who steals food from other people at work to do an AMA. Come on fuckers, you know you are here. There are 2million people subscribing to this sub. I can't work at a place with more than 10 people without someone stealing my delicious microwave burritos. That means there are like 200k food stealers here.

I steal my roommates food... of course he steals my beer, owes me $500 and had is gf move in when he lost his job. Now he sits at home all day running up the power bill. He also likes to slam doors and talk loudly when others are sleeping....

Having lived in a house with inconsiderate cunt housemates, I totally feel not-Debbie's pain. Every fucking time I'd buy something it'd be gone before I'd be able to get to it.

I ended up buying a mini-fridge and keeping it in my bedroom to house the stuff I really wanted to have to myself, but that didn't fix everything else being pilfered. Actually, I ended up also keeping my cutlery and plates/bowls in my bedroom too, since aforementioned inconsiderate cunts would just use them, then dump the dirty plates in the sink and expect somebody else to do the washing up. We actually had a 'dish graveyard' outside where I'd dump the plates that had been waiting to be washed up for so long that they had mould caked onto them.

I ended up spending a lot of time at my girlfriend's place, who mercifully lived just down the road.

I'm really glad I don't have to deal with that kind of shit any more. Fuck you, Debbie, and everybody like you.