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Australia’s Vegans Demand Constitutional Recognition

Australian’s vegans have demanded that they be recognised in the constitution calling on the Government to hold a referendum as soon as possible.

A spokesperson for the Vegan lobby group Vegans Are Great, Trevor Pineapple spoke to The (un)Australian about the issue, saying: “For too long Australian’s have relied on riding off the sheep’s back when in reality we rode the broccoli and the mung bean, why do Australian’s keep overlooking the mung bean?”

On whether Aboriginal people should be recognised in the constitution before vegans, Mr Pineapple said: “The Aboriginal people would definitely be able to feel our suffering for too long we have been ignored and forced to tolerate meat eaters, now is our time to be recognised as the first Australian non-meat eaters.”

Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce, once he calmed down, said of the vegans request for constitutional recognition: “This country was built on the sheep’s back and also the cows back, pigs, kangaroos, and oh yeah I can’t forget venison, emu, crocodile and fish, oh man I could really go for a feed, now what are we talking about? Oh yeah vegetables, can’t have meat without two veg.”