Season

Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut

Feb 25, 1998
The boys notice an absence of Cartman at the school bus stop, and become concerned, so they go over to his house. They spy on him playing in his backyard, they notice that he is playing tea time with all of his stuffed animals, and come to the conclusion that he needs some serious help... but they need to film him first, for laughs.
Cartman begins questioning where he's from, genetically. He asks his mom who his father was, and she gives vague answers to shut him up... or simply because she can't remember. First Cartman believes he is Native Indian until the Chief tells him, bluntly, that his mother is a slut. Then he bounces to African-American, as he believes that Chef is his father. Chef tells him that it was Mr. Garrison that was his father, to his agony.
Grandpa Marsh decides to watch the Bob Saget Show, where America sends in their funniest home videos. The boys enter the film of Cartman, and win, which gives him enough moolah to get a DNA test to find out who his father really is... To be continued.

Feb 18, 1998
The four boys have some troubles ahead of them, as they're about to unlock an ancient curse that could destroy the entire universe! The boys dig up an ancient amulet that holds a certain power over the ultimate sway in Earth's supernatural stranglehold on mankind. After Cartman digs up a triangular object, he throws it away, so Kyle claims it... None of them know the power it holds.
Meanwhile elsewhere, the evil Ms. Streisand hears of the incident in the digging, she comes to South Park to find out where the triangle of Zinthar is, and will admittedly use force. Once Barbra gets her grubby mitts on it to the dismay of Chef, she turns into a gigantic robot version of herself.
While Mecha-Streisand causes havoc on the town of South Park, crushing everything in its path, there are only two people that can possibly stop Mecha-Streisand: the tag team of legendary actor Sidney Poitier and legendary mope-rocker Robert Smith! They both transform into mecha versions and save the day!

Episode 111

Tom's Rhinoplasty

Feb 11, 1998
Mr. Garrison has taken some time out of his teaching schedule to better himself... To make a positive change for his life. You know, plastic surgery, where he gets an operation to make him look just like David Hasselhoff in the facial region. Is he doing it to get the chicks, or just get the chicks so he doesn't look gay?
While Mr. Garrison is out of the ol' office, a bombshell of a substitute teacher happens to temporarily replace him--and Stan has the hots for her. In fact, when she mentions his name, he pukes all over his desk. Wendy cannot tolerate her man being taken away from her, so she comes up with a plot.
Chef decides to wine 'n dine this fine, foxy replacement until he realizes after a perfectly coordinated date that she's a lesbian. Sadly, Wendy does not understand such news, and she plans for Ms. Ellen to be shipped off into space and blown to bits.

Episode 110

Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo

Dec 17, 1997
The boys at South Park are dealing with the struggles of Christmas time. With Kyle playing Joseph, his mother finds out about this and considers it to be a horrible act of disrespect, considering Kyle is Jewish and all. Kyle doesn't seem to mind very much, although due to his religion, he feels lonely on Christmas.
Due to this problem that Kyle's mom finds with the school play, she tries to remove all Christian elements from the school play, saying it's offensive to the South Park Jewish community. Kyle suggests allowing Mr. Hankey as the new Christmas mascot, but everyone thinks he's insane, and nobody believes in Mr. Hankey.
As Christmas draws closer, South Park removes every single "offensive" object from the town's decorations--leaving nothing entertaining whatsoever. Kyle deals with what he believes is his insanity, and submits himself into a mental institution. Mr. Hankey pops up to make everything right in the town, and prove Kyle isn't insane!

Episode 109

Starvin' Marvin

Nov 19, 1997
The four guys have a tough feat ahead of them in sponsoring an Ethiopian child that speaks in clicks and whistles... all to get a free sports watch. Sadly, the company ends up overnighting the actual Ethiopian child rather than their wrist watch. Yikes!
For Thanksgiving, the turkeys are on the loose after Dr. Mephesto tried to genetically engineer them for the poor during the holiday season. They're on the go, terrorizing the townsfolk and the town itself, while the boys take Marvin out to an all you can eat buffet.
Cartman gets taken back to Ethiopia after Marvin tells the FBI that he is the starving child, while the turkey situation inflates within the town. Cartman raids Sally Struthers's food shelter, where she hides the food from the hungry children. Meanwhile, Chef leads the slaughter pack against the turkeys!

Episode 108

Damien

Feb 4, 1998
The boys arrive at school to the great news that Cartman's annual birthday party is coming up, right around the corner! Liane always throws the biggest and best birthday parties for her chubby little kid, so naturally the boys are pumped, until they realize that Cartman has specifically picked out what the boys should buy him for his birthday.
Meanwhile, a new kid has arrived at South Park Elementary: Damien, the son of Satan himself. He makes sure to be blatant about his heritage, as he claims his father will rise up to take over the Earth after defeating Jesus, who just so happens to reside in South Park, Colorado.
Satan and Jesus decide to duke it out in a boxing match to settle things once and for all, but everybody is starting to make bets against Jesus. But Cartman's got bigger problems than that, as the Pay-Per-View fight is scheduled for... his birthday!

Episode 107

Pinkeye

Oct 28, 1997
The kids try to come up with killer Halloween costume ideas right after a rocket ship from the Germans lands atop Kenny, killing him instantly. While the boys settle on a variety of ideas, Kenny's body is taken to the morgue, where a bottle of steak sauce is dumped into the embalming process, making Kenny a zombie!
While Kenny's on a chomping rampage, a local doctor simply blows the cases off as a pinkeye epidemic that's spreading throughout the town. Wendy and Stan get into a heated argument when he arrives as Raggity Andy and she comes as Chewbacca, after she talked him into it. Meanwhile, Cartman comes dressed as Hitler and gets a talking to from Principal Victoria, who in turn makes him a ghost costume that looks like a KKK cloak.
The boys go out trick or treating with Kenny, who bites every home owner in the town right before they give the guys some candy. Chef gets on the case, knowing exactly that this is a case of zombie outbreak, not pinkeye, and warns the boys. Finally, Kyle finds out that Kenny started this whole mess, and cuts him in two to cease the outbreak.

Episode 106

Death

Sep 17, 1997
Stan's family is revealed to be as crazy as anyones, with a minor exception in his grandfather, Marvin Marsh, who is absolutely out of his mind. His birthday is on the horizon once again, and to be quite frank, he's sick of living! He claims it's like listening to Enya albums over and over again, and requests Stan's help (or as he calls him, "Little Billy") in an assisted suicide.
Stan's taken aback by his grandfather's request, as he can't rightfully kill his grandfather... right? The rest of the boys try to help him decide what to do, and they settle on helpin' ol' grandpappy off himself, yet all of their attempts are caught by someone in the family. Meanwhile, Kyle's mom ruins television for everyone by making parents aware of Terrence & Phillip.
However, it seems there are more cards in the hand than first believed, as Death himself, the Grim Reaper, has appeared to snatch the soul of the old man! Or so it seems. Death is actually there to snatch Kenny's soul, to the agony of Grandpa. He is then visited by his Grandfather, who tells him it's not right to make your grandchildren kill you.

Sep 10, 1997
The boys are in a bit of a jam, as they're in dire need of a killer science project that will put them over the top in their class--especially over the bullies that they're up against, who always seem to come out on top in the science tests.
When an elephant comes to Kyle's home and Cartman gets a brand new pig, the kids get a crazy idea of mating the elephant with Cartman's pet pig to create potbellied elephants. Since the elephant is so much bigger than the pig, the race to figure out how to get them to do the nasty... That's where Dr. Mephesto comes into play.
The mad scientist that specializes in concocting creatures with multiple asses offers his helping hand with the boys, but his son is one of the bullies! Things get out of hand when a clone of Stan, made from his hair sample, goes crazy on the town! Angry from his sister's abuse, the gigantic clone goes after Shelly, who in turn kicks its ass.

Sep 3, 1997
Stan gets a brand new dog, Sparky (voiced by George Clooney) to accompany him to school and elsewhere. When he takes it to the school's bus stop, and a stray dog comes up, the boys quickly learn that Sparky isn't like other dogs... He's gay! After scolding Sparky for humping the other dog, the boys get along to football practice.
After practicing hard, Chef (the head coach of the South Park Cows football team) determines that his team doesn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning the game. Meanwhile, Stan is embarrassed by his gay dog's antics near the football field after Sparky humps one of the bully's dogs.
Sparky realizes that he cannot be tolerated by his closed-minded owner, so he runs away from Stan and is welcomed into Big Gay Al's housing for gay animals. Stan leaves the big game in order to find his gay dog, where he learns to accept Sparky and his homosexuality due to Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride.

Episode 103

Weight Gain 4000

Aug 27, 1997
When Mr. Garrison has exciting news that one of the children in the classroom has won the national prize for writing a paper on the sensitivity of nature and preserving it, Wendy thinks it's her, considering she has a vast knowledge on the subject. To her dismay, it winds up being Eric Cartman, who admittedly despises nature and everything about it.
To an even bigger surprise for Mr. Garrison and his buddy, Mr. Hat, Kathy Lee Gifford will be present at the ceremony. Kathy Lee defeated Herbert in a talent show contest when he was a youngster, and he hasn't been able to get over it since. Meanwhile, Cartman decides to get in shape, since he'll be on television, and begins drinking Weight Gain 4000 to gain some muscle... which ends up being fat.
While snooping around after hours in class for Cartman's paper, Wendy finds it and realizes that he simply copied off of a famous author. Right as she cracks the case, she overhears Garrison conspiring with Mr. Hat to kill Kathy Lee. Her and Stan stop Mr. Garrison from killing Kathy Lee on the day of her arrival... sadly, he kills Kenny instead.

Episode 102

Volcano

Aug 20, 1997
Jimbo Kearn, Stan's uncle, and his best buddy from Vietnam, Ned Gerblanski, decide to take the four boys on their very first hunting trip up in the middle of the Colorado wilderness! Due to a new law, they must scream "It's comin' right for us!" before shooting any animals, but poor old Stan loves animals and does not want to kill them.
During a night's stay by the campfire, Jimbo and Ned tell some scary stories of Ned's missing arm becoming a killing beast that preys on the weak. Cartman comes up with a stupid story about a beast that has Patrick Duffy for a leg and weaves baskets: Scuzzlebutt. Nobody believes him, naturally, so Cartman decides to dress up as the beast.
More important matters are at hand, however, as a volcano is on the brink of eruption on the mountain that the boys are staying on. Stan's dad, Randy, goes to the media about it. Once the volcano erupts, it seems the boys, as well as Ned and Jimbo, are doomed... until the real Scuzzlebutt shows up and rescues them all! Sadly, Stan finally gets the courage to kill an animal, and decides to shoot the friendly monster in the brain.

Aug 13, 1997
While the four boys are playing near the bus stop, waiting to go to school, Cartman reveals that he had an outlandish dream involving aliens sticking a gigantic anal probe up his rear while Kyle is playing a game of kick the baby with his little brother, Ike. Chef swings by and confirms that he saw a spaceship over the town, despite Cartman insisting on it just being a dream.
Kyle and the boys board the school bus, leaving Ike behind. They noticed grey forms near Ike, taking him away. It's the invaders from beyond the Earth! The boys do their best to come up with a plot to get Ike back from the aliens while at school, where Cartman keeps farting flames.
The boys and Stan's girlfriend, Wendy, decide that Cartman's ass is being used to transmit data to the invaders. They stick Cartman out as bait to lure the aliens down, when a gigantic satellite dish comes out of his butt to call to them. They come down, and Ike makes a daring getaway from the grey guys from space, while Cartman gets abducted at Ike's rescue's expense.

About This Show

Summary

South Park follows a large cast of characters in Colorado, and all around the universe beyond their quiet little whitebread mountain town that the show is named after.

Stan Marsh is a Catholic boy that attends church every now and then, has a girlfriend named Wendy, and his father (Randy) is a scientist... In fact, he's the only scientist in South Park. Sharon is his loving, complex mother, and he has a greedy, mean-spirited sister that's going through puberty. Don't forget about grandpa, who always wants to die, and his radical right-wing gun-toting uncle, Jimbo.

Kyle Broflovski is a devote Jewish boy that comes from a stereotypical yet caring Jewish family, where his mother (Sheila) tries to decide for every child's parents, and his lawyer father, Gerald, who loves money almost as much as his adopted Canadian son, Ike, who is Kyle's toddler sibling.

Eric Cartman is possibly the most notorious character in town, barking religious insults at Kyle, whom he claims to despise. His mother, who is all actuality is his father with a sex change operation, bakes him tons of sweets and other things to keep him nice and plump, so that he can appear as non-offensive as possible.

The rest of the colorful cast, ranging from Jesus Christ to Chef (the R&B-crooning cafeteria cook) to Kenny (the kid that dies in every episode), helps make South Park the weirdest place to live... at least in the States.