How I kept my wings from wilting

119 Comments

Hi Guys!

Welcome to my new kitchen! After a year of renovating, the farmette is nearly complete. Can I pinch myself now? I can’t believe we pulled this off! I’ve always dreamed of building a house from scratch, especially a kitchen. And I also can’t believe that my actual kitchen and my new book, Crazy Sexy Kitchen are wrapping at the same time. Big smile. Big gratitude.

This past year has been deliciously creative for both me and Brian. I’d write the book all day, he’d work on the house, and at night we’d come together and share our experiences. Though we’re not quite ready to move in (the kitchen is the only finished room!), we’re celebrating how close we are and how far we’ve come (personally and as a couple).

But let’s be real, I was nervous. At times it felt like we had bitten off way more than we could chew. Days bled into nights and an indescribable tired seeped through our bones. If you’ve been through a major renovation at the same time as an enormous work project, you know exactly what I mean. At the height of it, I started to experience some adrenal issues. Naturally, when the stress materialized in my body, I wondered if we had made a bad decision, and I knew it was time to course correct.

Because I always write what I need to hear, I want to share a mantra that helped soothe the crazy.

“You are safe …”

Can you feel your shoulders relax when you read that? Mine do. It took me awhile to zero in on that soul medicine. For a long time, I thought I had trust issues. I had a hard time trusting men, my career choices and ultimately, my intuition. I stepped gingerly through life for fear of the door in the floor that would suddenly open and suck me into a metaphoric basement. At their worst, my trust issues made me wickedly constipated (in all areas of life!) TMI? HA! Well I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached countless women who say they can only poop on their own safe and cozy throne. Sound familiar?

As time went on, I remember stepping back and watching my glorious self shrink and get really rigid. Then it dawned on me. The root of my stuff was less about trust and more about safety. And interestingly enough, my distress would often kick in at the precipice of any comfort zone expansion: a new publisher, relationship, job opportunity, health challenge and even more recently with the re-branding of all my websites! Talk about a major growth spurt!

Like me, you may be called to step up and flourish right now. Advice for us: Don’t let your wings wilt. Instead, get really sober about what’s safe and what’s not. Take one of those inner inventories we often talk about. Whether it’s in your mind or on paper, reflect on any drama or stories that might be pushing your fear factor. Once you do, you’ll probably realize that you’re more secure than you think and that the only one holding you back is lovely, well-meaning you. Look, sometimes it’s justified to be scared. But most of the time, spooky town is just an illusion, a silly place that gets amplified in our very clever minds.

In times like these, I like to turn to an affirmation. Here’s one I created for safety …

“I am safe and secure. I exhale any anxiety and inhale calm. As my world expands so do my heart and mind. I am willing to stay open and accept all the miracles and abundance the universe has to offer me.”

Take a few moments to really breathe that in. Notice how it makes you feel. Accept where you currently are (because it’s OK), and when you’re ready, release any residual tension holding you back.

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I bring this up because lately I’ve been chatting and chewing about plant-empowered chow. Changing our diets can definitely poke buttons. Growing up, many of us learned that we regularly needed a hunk of beef and a glass of milk to ensure our health. Well, everything I’ve learned as a cancer thriver and wellness activist has proven the contrary. And yet, I always (I mean ALWAYS) get asked the same questions. “But, but, but, what about the protein, the calcium, the iron, what about the XYZ? Is this ‘safe?’” Eating this way is very safe. It may stretch your comfort zone at first, but in the end it just might be the healthiest decision you ever make for you and your family.

I hope this post resonates with you, whether it’s in the kitchen or in life. Leave a message in the comments below if it does. I’d love to meditate on YOUR musings!

119 Responses…

I’m in the final stages of my first book (the manuscript is to be submitted to Hay House by sunday). Along with writing I’m also relaunching my business, giving my website a fancy face lift and opening my second premises. The last few months I’ve really been stepping out of my comfort zone and it’s daunting. There was a time I had stage 4 adrenal fatigue (along with a million other health issues). All I can say is thank goodness for green juice and all the fabulous plant powered goodies that have transformed my health and given me the chance to change my life.

I love the fabulous new site and can’t wait to get my hands on Crazy Sexy Kitchen.

I’ve felt this lack of trust as well and your mantra is so helpful. I love that the kitchen is the first room nearly “done” in your renovation. The website re-do is perfect and I look forward to your weekly posts and not just guest bloggers. I would read the old blog and search out for your stuff — I didn’t care about the other folks as much, I guess. 🙂

Hey Kris,
it is funny how this post just came in the right moment. There are many things in my life that I want to come to terms with. It is still a long way to go. I am trying to keep myself stable and to think positive but I have to admit that I still need to learn how to trust again. I am trying to eat healthy and mainly plant-based because I feel that it does me good in many ways.
Anyway, I love your strength, your attitude and I hope to learn from you a great deal.
Have a good one! And congratulations to your new kitchen! You look very happy and proud on the pic. 🙂

thank you so much for this post! It resonates with me so well and could not be more timely!
After a couple of years of soul and purpose searching, ups and downs in my career – this year I finally got back to my self and magically perfect career opportunity showed up almost in the same time (or most likely as a result of that deep soul searching ;)) But! The moment everything started making sense – I freaked out! Old patterns, anxiety, doubt started crawling in and I felt totally blocked and lost. I didnt know what is going on until in down on me – my dreams are becoming reality and it freaked me out because I am now out of my comfort zone and that doesnt feel safe! But it is safe to dream big, and it is safe to change, and it is safe to transform and grow … It is safe only if you do the work. And you can do the work only if you feel safe … tricky that one 😉 Like with pooping – you can only release when you dont feel anxious, and you can stop feeling anxious when you release (poop, or old patters = same thing) …
Changing way of being in the world seems scary but actually is safe … so yes, I am safe, I release my old patterns and I am ready for a new life.

Love, Gratefulness and Respect

Yana

p.s. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this new format. It is more personal, less overwhelming and allows us to process and embody all the info we get as well as being more active ourselves. You gave us lot of resources in the past – now we can do the research on our own and come here for more inspiration and deeper transformation-in-action support. I feel like first phase of following you and your website was more like ‘realize,get to know, be familiar with’ phase – researching tons of info and picking and choosing … and now It’s about going deep and being more skillful, more active … about embodying what we became aware of. It’s like growing up together! 😉

Kris, thank you so much for your post! I love the new format, and love reading your wisdom again! Feeling safe is a big issue in my life (and one connected to adrenal health). I really did relax while reading your post. Relax and let go baby (that’s what I tell myself :-)). You are safe.
Much love and thank you.

I love this post and I love hearing from YOU more often. Although the contributer format gave me lots of great info, I did almost always feel like I wanted your take on any given subject. Your writing brings your spirit and passion to anyone who reads you and it is a beautiful, inspiring thing.

This post is very potent for me. I am feeling tons of pressure even though I am doing things I love. I am opening a second office, trying to figure out how to brand myself for the first time, website design, and doing some very serious soul searching through some bad a$$ life coaching all at the same time. I need to be reminded that I am safe, and that I have created the conditions I need to flourish. Thank you for sharing this.

I admire you in a million ways so to see that someone as successful as you still needs to remind herself she is safe is really helpful. Thank you.
xo
Bo

I really tried going vegan – one day at a time – after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. But I have an even more deadly and demanding taskmaster – liver disease that leads to cirrhosis and a deterioration of the digestive system. So, ultimately, raw veggies didn’t work for me (salad stays in my stomach for hours and sometimes I throw it up) and tofu and other soy products didn’t have the protein power to sustain me with the high-end fatigue I get from liver disease. Do you ever get inquiries about diseases that affect your digestive system like this? How do you respond?

I am still making a smoothie in the morning with fruit, avocado, oatmeal, and a greens and whey powder to add protein. I’m switching to just whey protein because it’s easier on my budget. So I want to eat more veggies and add the greens to my diet that way. Right now I’m eating meat (mostly just turkey, low sodium, organically grown) daily but I want to add cooked veggies. Do you have any suggestions for me? By the way, my liver specialist was happy when I told her I had become vegan because plant protein is much easier than meat to process by the liver as the disease progresses. I eat cheese now and then but don’t drink milk or eat eggs. I want some help, Kris!

Dana, I have Crohn’s disease and it is actually improving with a raw diet (the greens are mostly in the vitamix, but there are a lot of them) and the probiotics found in certain soil micro-organisms. The life-changing digestive help I’ve gotten is from a book called “Patient, Heal Thyself” by Justin Rubin….run don’t walk and get a copy NOW. This is VERY pertinent to your condition. The only other support I can offer is to strongly suggest you not think in terms of the disease “progressing”….it is a challenge to let go of that way of thinking, but ultimately it is a huge help. It’s like the difference between “cancer survivor” and “cancer thriver”….BIG. Good luck and hang in there!

A friend of mine is awaiting a liver transplant. He and I both have an illness called Beta Thalassemia Major. I bought him a juicer and he told me that he has been juicing spinach, carrot and apple every day. He told me his liver enzymes have been better and he is feeling more energetic. He said his “cirrhosis is on hold and there has been progression.” I’m such a fan of juicing. You can read my Kris Carr blog post about how I converted to a raw vegan diet here: http://kriscarr.com/2012/can-a-raw-vegan-lifestyle-affect-the-health-of-ones-blood/. I started my own blog to help people: josephinebila.com

Kris, your comments this week are spot on for me. Fear and Safety are so intertwined. I pre-ordered your new book and am headed over to the cooking classes! Thank you so much for all you do and share! Your example is so powerful for me because you always share your experiences with open honesty. I and so many others can relate to you because of this. I am 54 and have come a long way in my personal growth and you have been a big part of my health changes. Thank you for being authentic!

Thank you so much for this. Much needed. I’ve been in a place of expansion – and with this, issues of safety keeps creeping up. Can I really DO THIS? Can I really be supported doing what I am PASSIONATE about and LOVE? Is this my intuition? Is this fear REAL?

Ultimately, I’ve come to accept that only LOVE is real. Fear is an illusion.

Your mantra is so beautiful. Reading it and breathing with it has given me more peace and calmness I needed.

Kris, I forgot to tell you the most important thing – I love your post today! It addresses perfectly what I need to add to my daily meanderings into my creativity: I am safe. I copied your mantra and it will sit on my desktop (computer) for when I need it. Thank you sooooooooo much. 🙂
With much love and respect,
Dana

This post couldn’t have come at a more pertinent time. My husband just left for a last minute 9 day international business trip just as I was about to run a marathon. On top of that I am at a pinnacle point in starting my dream business (read: life’s work) I am beyond stressed and worried and emotional. I really needed to read those words “I am safe” I am going to keep those words with me this week as I go through my usual day and as Iake decisions regarding my business. Thank you!

I love and live with a hunter who also happens to be a great chef, so the transition to 100% herbivore is no easy task, and I must say not likely to occur because the truth is that.. well I still enjoy meat, chicken, and fish. But I am juicing everyday and have been for over a year now and have incorporated more vegetarian meals in our daily life. Another way I have always been lucky is that my husband is not a meat and potatoes only kind guy. He loves vegetables and willingly eats and always enjoys the vegetarian meals I prepare. While he will taste every juice I make, I can not get him on a daily routine. I just want you to know that I truly appreciate this communication. Your light and friendly manner makes this so user friendly. It’s like working with my trainer, she makes me want to work hard. She doesn’t guilt me into it. Your approach is much the same. You appeal to my inner wisdom and intellect and never try to manipulate me by guilt or berating. Keep it up and I will be here with you.

As always your posts are right on! Interesting on safety as many of us are just starting the ‘fall-winter’ darker season, less sun, cooler or downright cold and we don’t have the ‘safety’ of warm weather with sunny feelings. I didn’t realize that I feeling that way until I did the mantra and wowy-powy instant relaxation. Thanks Kris for all you do for yourself and us XXXOOO

This post couldn’t come at a better time. I’m really struggling with anxiety over feeling unsafe, unprepared, and just plain out of my comfort zone. I’ve recently taken a lot of (good) risks in both my personal and professional life that have me feeling like a toddler in the deep end without my swimmies! Every day there comes a moment where it hits me, out of the blue, “what the frack am I doing?” I then talk myself down, repeating over and over that I’m growing and learning and doing what is best for me in this moment. It’s easy to cling to the known and comfortable, but that often leaves us feeling unfulfilled and stagnant. Doubts and fear are normal, but it’s important to squash them and not let them consume you.

Oh, I love that too!! Great metaphor. We ALL have wings, sometimes spread full, sometimes even broken for a while. But taking care that we don’t let them wilt is advice for a lifetime. My new mantra as well!

Yes. trust! So easy, right? Some sure can make it look that way. I’m not one of them…yet. I continue to tell myself, “I can do this trust-thing.” And when that “I feel overwhelmed” cloud starts to thunder, I’ve got one word for you. Breathe.

As always Kris, your emails arrived at the perfect time. I’ve been feeling that tight anxiety up in my chest, with a little adrenal fatigue. But, I’m embarking on one of THE most exciting times of my life, launching a new business, launching a new website, ideas for a book….. I’ve realised I’m right where I’ve always wanted to be, I just need to trust and count my beautiful blessings. Jxox

Congratulations, Kris! On your new kitchen, your new book, your new websites, your new cooking classes. That’s a whole heck of a lot of new, isn’t it? No wonder you did a bit of a safety freak out.

I’ve got some new happening in my life too, and it’s pushing my safety button. That’s why I really appreciated what you said. “You’ll probably realize that you’re more secure than you think and that the only one holding you back is lovely, well-meaning you.” Yep, that about sums it up.

Kris – I LOVE your safety affirmation. I will be sure to use this one as I know I need it throughout my days. 😉 I absolutely love you and all your do! I have your books and your smoothie eBook, they are all fantastic and I always recommend them to my clients.
You are moving in such a wonderful direction and it’s a pleasure moving with you.
Here’s to the movement!

Oh , friend – I think this will resonate with so many people. It did with me. Love how the universe (today via YOU) gives us just what we need when we need it, and I feel blessed for the openness to recognize it! Thank you. The new site is wonderful. Love the new direction you are taking. Much love and abundance to you!

Thank you for this post. It could not have come at a more perfect moment. I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia a year ago, and today I go in to the gynecologist for symptoms of Inflammatory Breast Cancer.
I am safe.
Thank you. This post really goes to show how important our thoughts are to other people. This will be my mantra today and through the testing this week will bring.
Thank you Kris.
Darlene

Love the mantra and affirmation. I keep a document on my computer where I add inspirational quotes from people. I love to read through the quotes when I need a little emotional boost. This little beauty just got added to the list. It is just what I needed to read and focus on today as I am “expanding my wings” and feeling so unsure about myself. Love when a little divine synchronicity comes into play just when I need it.

I look forward to Mondays now simply for Kris’ message. Who knew Mondays could be so great!
Today’s words hit me to the core. Wow!
As a “cancer thriver” of 4.5 years, and a whole/real/plant-based food addict and green drink advocate, the time is coming for me to make all parts of my life match. Can’t wait for the next big steps (and the little steps that get me there)!!
With Kris’ weekly encouragement through KrisKarr.com and my own resliency and beliefs, I know firmly that it will happen.
Here’s to a world with more green!
~Jenn

Have you ever been criticized for your bubbly, loving, crazy writing?? I sure took the punches for mine…I wasn’t professional, no one would take me serious. Then here you come with the same sweetness and compassion about life. It was refreshing to read the first newsletters from your work. The light oozes from your vision.
I so appreciate the “I am safe”. What captured me even more was realizing that what was keeping me from being me wasn’t as much about trusting others, but not trusting my instincts. So many times we worry about pleasing others or over thinking about making mistakes. When really we should believe in that little voice that comes from our souls, urging us on to fulfill our dreams and work.
Stay strong and healthy…may you find peace, love and abundance in all that you do…keep the love and sharing coming…you never know who’s lives you are impacting!!!! :O)

Thank you SOOOOO much for this post! It’s the affirmation I needed to launch the new journey that I’m starting today.

I’ve always wanted to try a vegetarian/vegan diet but scared to do so, rationalizing that fear with “It’s not practical for my life” or “It’ll be too hard since I don’t know anyone that eats that way.” But I’m not going to let that stop me!!! I was just sitting here, thinking about you, your story ands the words in this post, along with “exhaling anxiety and inhaling calm”. I totally started to feel more centered, more calm, more lucid.

I’ve been battling my weight all my life and it’s all my fault… I wilted my own wings. But you know what? I’m better than that! I better than to let my negative thoughts and emotions, my self made road blocks and brick walls keep my wings wilted. Not anymore! Starting today I will not wilt my own wings!

Loved your post today!! so right u are as usual!!!! Hey TAKE TIME to kick your feet up girl, u deserve it!!!!!!! By the way LOVE the cooking classes, attending a raw cooking class/lecture at Hippacrates tomarrow evening here in WPB, thought it would help me out with your new book I cannot wait to get!! God Bless Denise Watson

Thank you Kris for all that you do! I am currently on my 21 day cleanse from Crazy Sexy Diet and I love it and love teh change in my life! You are awesome and so grateful I came across your lifechanging material! I feel blessed! THANK YOU!! YAY! 🙂 Awesome read also! Congrats on the new kitchen! 🙂

Kris, Thank you so much for this post. It is exactly what I need to hear today. I am considering a major career change and the thought brings up such anxiety. You are my hero! Love you, Susan….I am safe.

Wow did I need that today. I didn’t realize I was smack Dan in the middle of a fear bases anxiety today. I feel much better now that someone else told me I was safe. Thank you for the reminder! Much love to you and thank you for changing lives!

I will definitely use that affirmation, thank you. It really resonates with me. I am finally getting serious about my ‘internal’ health and after reading your article I can see this as being one of my issues.

HI Kris
I just finished your book and absolutely LOVED it. I have read soooo many book re. health and wellness and have been on a mission lately to find what WORKS for me! I became vegan this year and am transitioniing to being more and more raw. I have obsessed about food and body compositon for as long as I can remember and recently made the decision to eat mindfully and exercise bc I am worth it and I want to live a long, healthy and abundant life. The nice physique is definately an added bonus but I don’t want that to be the driving force behind my self care.
I am struggling with getting the rest of my family on board- esp my partner whom I like to call the ‘white bread wonder’– and suggestions? I pummel him with knowledge constantly; but for some reason it doesn’t seem to work…lol… I wonder why! Help??
I am a huge fan and just ordered your cook book. I also just borrowed a juicer from a friend and am starting your cleanse tomorrow. Although I follow a healthy diet; what you stated in your book about cleansing resonated and made alot of sense.
Much Love
Melissaxo

Yes, I needed that! It is possible that my art career might actually be coming to fruition after MANY years of me just continuing to paint and teach. The opportunity presented itself to me, I grabbed it —-with unbelievable support from a friend! And, now I just have to wait and see what happens! I have done all I can do! 🙂

Chris – thank you for your words in your post today. As a newly diagnosed breast cancer fighter, your wisdom and teachings about healthy eating have been an important part of my journey. Your mantra today reminds me again of all I am in control of as I journey back to health. Thank You!

How perfect is this post. Your web site is gorgeous and your kitchen is impeccable. Martha Stewart would be green with envy. I am launching my blog and my web site and renovating my home. It’s all too much. Love the mantra. Thank you! Just what I need this week!