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Gwyneth Paltrow Claims SHE Popularized Yoga. Because Of Course She Does

In today’s edition of “The World According To Gwyneth,” it would seem that we all owe Ms. Paltrow one big “Namaste.”

That whole yoga thing? Yup. Gwyneth.

In an interview with Wall Street Journal Magazine, Paltrow credits the popularity of yoga to…wait for it…herself. Because why not? Oh, G-girl, if I only had one ounce of your bravado, my life would be so very different.

While talking about the devastating diagnosis of her father, Bruce Paltrow, with throat cancer — which would become the catalyst behind making her own personal lifestyle changes, and eventually lead to the start of her lifestyle brand Goop — she says:

I remember when I started doing yoga and people were like, ‘What is yoga? She’s a witch. She’s a freak.’ ’

Paltrow goes on to say, “Forgive me if this comes out wrong,” at which point Imma just jump in here and say if you need to start off your statement with this, maybe you just shouldn’t say it? But she does say it…

But I went to do a yoga class in L.A. recently and the 22-year-old girl behind the counter was like, ‘Have you ever done yoga before?’ And literally I turned to my friend, and I was like, ‘You have this job because I’ve done yoga before.’

Oh, Gwyneth. Have I told you how much I love the movie ‘Shakespeare In Love?’ Really, what would we do without you? Where would we be without you championing movements such as “conscious uncoupling,” naming your child after a piece of fruit, and shoving $65 yoni eggs up your va-jay-jay? And now yoga? I mean, is it really that much of a stretch for you to take credit for the popularity of a practice that’s been around for a mere 5000 years?

Um…YES. Yes, it is. Not to mention, Paltrow is not the first celebrity to endorse yoga. Marilyn Monroe was pictured doing various yoga poses back in 1948 — that’s 24 years before Gwyneth was even born. I’d also hazard a guess that the 20 million people who practice yoga in the USA aren’t doing it because they witnessed Paltrow in downward-facing dog. Just sayin’.

This isn’t the first time Paltrow has made this claim, however. In an October interview with Marie Claire UK, she says:

I remember when I started doing yoga and acupuncture, people thought it was outrageous. When I was photographed with cupping marks on my back, everyone went crazy. I’ve always been the person who introduces wellness ideas into the culture, and I can see by pattern recognition that people eventually come around… You can love or hate it, but Goop is building something that’s changing the world, and it’s irrefutable that the world is coming along with us.

In all fairness, Paltrow HAS built a massive $250 million dollar empire with Goop, her lifestyle brand that has introduced the world to vaginal steaming, psychic vampire repellant spray and camel milk. There are stores in Los Angeles, New York and London, with more European locations and an Australian expansion on the horizon. While it is easy to poke fun at the often outrageous (and college tuition-priced) products and unconventional practices found on the site, it’s obvious that Goop has its fair share of supporters.

Gwyneth ends the interview with WSJ Magazine with the following words:

I’m here one f—ing time. I want an incredible life, I used to be in my trailer, smoking a cigarette and waiting for Ethan Hawke to open the door. Now look at me.

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About Heidi Hamm

Heidi Hamm is a writer, wife, and mom of three. You can find her writing about the joys and insanities of parenting and life on Sammiches and Psych Meds, Scary Mommy, The Huffington Post, and Perfection Pending, amongst others. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.