thanks Isotope - much appreciated. I have researched many of the medications you mentioned, but there are a couple I didn't know much about. My main problem is finding a good doctor where I live that understands and is willing to trial something that works for me.

i am hoping that alternating between different meds will keep the tolerance levels down on any particular med. Although dependence is inevitable, keeeping the tolerance down to low doses seems the best idea to me. Explaining this to doctor, who you would think should be more informed than you, but they really are not. Most information they get is either from the pharmaceutical companies directly (always misinformed/manipulated/selective information) or from governement departments only trying to restrict the use and abuse of meds.

It seems doctors just jump to the conclusion you are trying to abuse the medication, as some people do that of ocurse. My intention is to be pain free - that is a big enough high for me. On the rare occasions I have no pain I feel great, happy, energetic and get lots of work and other things done - although it has been rare - once every couple of months or so. Excited to not feel pain when suffering for 16+ years - that is the real "high" for me.