A good week for.... A bad week for...

Flexibility of thoughtCabinet minister Hazel Blears joined protests against the closure of the maternity unit of a hospital in her Salford constituency. That's the same Ms Blears who still supports the government's plans to 'reconfigure' NHS services. Hush now, you naysayers: Only the dull-witted hold one opinion at any one time.

Housework Turns out that playing about with a duster might help prevent breast cancer. The terrible downside writes itself - that blokes can now sit on the couch,beer in hand, and suggests that all that running round is doing their women folk good.

Peter KayNow the author of the highest-selling hardback autobiography in British publishing history. More than 600,000 copies of The Sound of Laughter have been sold. And he does mother-in-law jokes. Truly, a hero for our times.

MozartA recentlydiscovered keyboard piece was performedfor the first timein Salzburg. It's thought that the clever little chap, pictured, wrote it between the age of six and 10. The slacker.

A bad week for:

Phil 'the Power' TaylorThe world's greatest dartist suffered a volley of abuse from rival Chris Mason. Nothing to do with Taylor having a bigger car, says Mason, who claims that Taylor is just too arrogant. Boys, please. Think of the beautiful game.

Sword swallowersIt turns out that putting a sharp blade down your throat might not be a very good thing - who would have guessed? The most common complaint is a sore throat. We kid you not.These findings come courtesy of the British Medical Journal. Now, all say 'aaah'.

SkiersThey stand on the slopes of the Alps, looking longingly at the skies, doing the occasional tribal snow dance. But to no avail, as apres-ski continues to kick-off mid-morning.

Doctor Who They don't like to hang around these days, do they? Back in the old days, they'd sport the long scarf for many a season. Now, it seems, David Tennant might be off, soon after Christopher Eccleston had decamped after just one series. All this makes life difficult for those poor folk manufacturing Dr Who dolls.