Men can't parent? Grow up

Huggies knows a lot about disposable diapers, but it didn't know poop about dads.

That's how it seemed to stay-at-home dad Chris Routly, who challenged Huggies maker Kimberly-Clark last year over an ad campaign that asserted fathers were the "toughest test" for its product.

"It was just straight up saying dads are bad at this," says Routly, 37, whose two sons were both in diapers at the time.

Routly complained on his blog, The Daddy Doctrines, and started a petition on change.org. He had attracted more than 1,300 signatures – and plenty of media attention – when representatives of Huggies contacted him.

It took one week.

Routly got an apology, and Huggies halted the offending ads. The company also consulted with Routly, who lives in Portland, Ore., to create a new commercial campaign that shows a more realistic image of fathers as caregivers.

Routly calls himself an "accidental activist." Other dads were upset by the commercials, including Johnny Nielsen of Tustin.

In one ad, "it was more important to watch the football game instead of putting the diaper on (the kid)," says Nielsen, who used to write marketing copy for Huggies. "It's like, come on."

These men want recognition of the nurturing roles they embrace as stay-at-home dads, single fathers and those who share care-giving duties in dual-breadwinner households.

CHANGING ATTITUDES

Dad bloggers in particular are starting to get more attention from marketers and brand name products.

The past two years, dads have had their own version of the popular Mom 2.0 Summit where marketers gather with mothers who are active in social media.

Dad 2.0 is not quite as big, but the gathering in Houston earlier this year was attended by about 200 bloggers.

The main sponsor for both conferences, Dove, is supporting research at Boston College on the changing roles of fathers.

Another company, frozen food maker Farm Rich, is funding a similar study with a grant to the National At-Home Dad Network, an organization with a membership of about 3,000 stay-at-home dads in 80 cities in the U.S.

In a previous study, due out in the Journal of Consumer Research this month, Coskuner-Balli looked at how advertisers portray fathers and found that traditional roles and stereotypes still prevail.

Marketers have been slow to pick up on opportunities to target dads as consumers, which she attributes to the fact that manufacturers focus on "the heavy users" of their products – women – and are reluctant to divvy up their resources or to alienate moms.

"Maybe it's not enough to research men," she says, "but to look into how families are changing and sharing responsibilities."

And there are more products being tailored for fathers, such as diaper bags with a more masculine look or strollers by Jeep that are ergonomically designed for men.

POSITIVE IMAGES

Nielsen, who writes under the name Johnny California for his Daft Daddy blog, is a good example of how the evolving nature of families is changing the role of fathers.

The "Daft" in the title of his blog refers to being a little silly at times, but not dumb, he says.

Nielsen shares household duties and care giving for his 20-month-old son, McGuinness, with his wife, Jeni. Both work full-time. He does social media marketing and works for a software company. She runs her own business.

Nielsen grew up in a traditional household, where his father worked and his mother raised the family. His mom wanted Nielsen and his siblings to watch only TV shows that were positive about fathers.

"She loved my dad and she didn't like shows that showed dads in a bad light."

While the need for dual incomes is changing the roles of mothers and fathers, Nielsen doesn't see the stereotype of the bungling dad going away anytime soon.

"We are bombarded with it," he said. "TV commercials are awful right now. Dads are taking a beating."

Nielsen, 43, could relate better to the stay-at-home dad Will Arnett played in the short-lived NBC sitcom "Up All Night."

Arnett played a lawyer who willingly took a break from his career to care for his newborn daughter while his wife, played by Christina Applegate, pursued her successful career as a TV producer.

The show was canceled after two seasons.

More enduring is the image from the 1983 movie "Mr. Mom."

Nielsen liked that movie – he found it funny and points out that the character played by Michael Keaton does figure out the child-rearing thing by the end of the movie.

But National At-Home Dad Network has launched a "Mr. Mom is Dead!" campaign to get the term "Mr. Mom" added to an annual list of words that should be banished.

"We're trying to say we're not being a Mr. Mom," says Al Watts, president of the organization.

Watts, 40, has four children – ages 11, 8, 6 and 5 – and has been their main caregiver the past 10 years.

"There already is a word out there that describes a man who is parenting," he says, "and it's 'dad.'"

ROAD TRIP FOR DADS

It remains to be seen whether At-Home Dad Network will have any better luck wiping Mr. Mom from people's lips than the group has had enlisting Michael Keaton to its cause. Keaton wants an appearance fee to attend the group's annual conference Oct. 18-19 in Denver.

The group can't afford Keaton. They had wanted him to deliver a "Mr. Mom is Dead!" eulogy.

But Hogan Hilling, a stay-at-home dad in Orange County, plans to drum up as much support as he can on a 9,000-mile cross-country motorcycle trip that he calls his USA Ride for Fatherhood.

Hilling, 58, expects to leave his home in Orange on Wednesday aboard his Harley-Davidson Road King. He will stop along the way to deliver talks and connect with father-oriented play groups and organizations.

"I want to recognize all the great dads in this country," says Hilling, who was a stay-at-home father in the early '90s.

Hilling is divorced now, and his three sons are grown. He makes his living as an author and motivational speaker on the topic of fatherhood.

Dads are more vocal these days than they were 20 years ago about who they are and how they are being portrayed, Hilling says.

"The guys have the courage to speak up and they're being proactive to do something about it."