House: Debating religion and breaking up lovers

“Unfaithful” pairs House with one of his favorite talking points: religion. A priest in a homeless shelter has lost his faith in God, yet, after a few scotches, sees a vision of a crucified Christ hovering outside his door.

House is mad at Thirteen and Foreman for dating and for Foreman’s corruption of a drug trial in an effort to help Thirteen’s fight against Huntington’s. House says the team is broken, and he refuses to take a “real” case until the two break up or quit. So he takes the case of the priest, Daniel, even though the rest of the team think he just had a drunken hallucination.

Foreman decides to quit and asks Cuddy for a letter of recommendation. Cuddy refuses because of the way he manipulated the drug trial. Thirteen decides to take a job at another hospital so Foreman can stay. When Foreman finds out, he’s angry that she seems to have so little faith in him.

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House tells Foreman and Thirteen to either break up or quit.

Cuddy is having a Simchat Bat, a Jewish celebration for baby girls. She makes a point of asking House to go, and he declines. He thinks she’s being a hypocrite, since she has not practiced her religion much before now. She asks him again, and this time he says he’ll go. She storms off to see Wilson, telling him her plan backfired: she had thought that House would do the opposite of what she wanted him to do. Cuddy finally asks House not to come. He surprises her by saying he won’t. “I feel so grown-up,” he says.

Daniel, the priest, is having more problems: His toe falls off (!!), he mimics symptoms of a heart attack and he goes blind in one eye. The team learns he was accused of inappropriate contact with a young boy and has been moved around from church to church since then. He says he is a virgin and that the boy was just confused. But the whole experience cost him his faith in God, and this intrigues House.

House, who rarely meets a patient, begins hanging out in Daniel’s room. He asks Daniel why he continues as a priest, since he’s lost his faith. Daniel says it’s the only thing he knows how to do. House tells him about his problems with Cuddy.

“You’ve really got a thing for you boss, huh?” Daniel asks him.

“I’ve got a thing for my boss’ thing,” House says, adding, “She doesn’t have a thing per se. I’m big on metaphors.”

Taub is incensed that the priest (allegedly) molested a boy and tracks the boy down when it seems Daniel might have AIDS. The boy seems more concerned about Daniel than his own health. He later shows up in Daniel’s ICU room, telling him how sorry he is. Apparently he never was molested. Daniel forgives him.

Thirteen has decided not to take the other job, and Foreman asks House for his job back. House says Foreman must decide between Thirteen and the job; Foreman picks the job. Foreman and Thirteen argue, criticizing each other’s diagnosis of Daniel, and House loves it. He thinks animosity makes the team sharper.

Finally House gets that “a-ha” moment and figures out Daniel has a genetic disorder that mimics AIDS but can be treated. The series of events that brought Daniel to House restores Daniel’s faith in God.

“Einstein said coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous,” Daniel muses.

Cuddy is amazed that House took a patient who appeared to be just a drunk, found a genetic disorder and saved his life. Cameron realizes Cuddy really wants House at her baby-naming ceremony and urges her to invite him again. Cuddy meets House at the door but just can’t quite bring herself to invite him. They walk out separately.

At home, House plays a song the show’s producers call “Cuddy’s Serenade,” mixed with a little of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” And we see Thirteen return home to Foreman, where she takes a bow and kisses him. They were only putting on a show for House when they pretended to break up.

Next week, a way-too-nice House is found unresponsive in his office. To rouse him, they open his shirt and, instead of shocking his heart, twist his nipples. I wonder if that’s in the Red Cross handbook?.