[#SoSS] Sexy Without The Sex

It’s been a very busy week for me here, vanilla work took up a large chunk of time and as always left me utterly shattered. Don’t get me wrong in a surprise I never saw coming I actually enjoy this new job (I’m a line chef in a popular restaurant) but it is the most tiring paid employment I have ever had. Oddly rewarding though because I feed people. The most tiring job I’ve ever had is being a Mum and 7 years on (my wee one has just had his birthday) I’m not actually seeing any let up in how exhausting parenthood is.

Thankfully though even on busy week’s I can present you with a #SoSS post because of all the wonderful meme’s that we can join in with. Speaking of which I usually link to the main memes I join in with at the end of my #SoSS posts, instead of doing that I will now be directing you to A List of All Available Memes compiled by Marie Rebel.

Back to my #SoSS shares though … I normally aim for around half a dozen things I would like to share with you and I am trying to vary my authors on a weekly basis and mix up the subject matters too. My first three shares though are all on the topic of ‘celibacy’ which was this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt. I’ll be honest and say that when I first saw the prompt I wondered how many posts would actually be prompt related, not that it matters, off prompt is very welcome there, as it happens, my thinking was way off the mark. Almost every post was prompt inspired and they ranged from sexy through to a little heartbreaking. The following three posts all moved me with their honesty and in some cases, I may have shed a little tear (I’m looking at you Ella Scandal, you got me right in the feels.)

I’m going to leave Ella’s post, for now, just to keep you all waiting and I’m going to start with Which Gender Identity is Celibate? By Melody. This post was genuinely fascinating and I feel like it filled in some of the gaps of knowledge I have when it comes to chastity. Not only does Melody discuss gender identities but also being asexual, both are topics that I truly believe more people need to read about. I don’t have experience of either of these things, but through the blog, podcasting and kink events I meet a lot of people for whom they are relevant and it matters to me that I am not ignorant on the reality of others peoples lives and posts like this one are so helpful in moving my knowledge and understanding forward.

‘Mostly the dominant persona these days is melody. She’s very happy to see the world from a celibate perspective. I think this holds true even when she’s at her most feminine, the removal of the male sex organs would make her comfortable but probably not make her want to be sexually active as a female.

Being asexual and celibate seems to transcend my gender identity.’

Melody from MelodyInsights

The second post on celibacy I’d like to share is from Ode To Dinah and this was my first visit to Dinah’s site, but it definitely won’t be my last. Her post Celibacy is probably the one that discusses celibacy in the closest way to dictionary definition as we got from all of this week’s posts and I have so much respect for the honest way in which Dinah is discussing her experiences. It’s probably easy to assume if you’re on the outside of the sex blogging community that we’re all at it 24/7, but we’re not, so many of us are having infrequent sex or in Dinah’s case no sex. You’ll have to visit her site and find out why that is and whether it might change in the future.

‘The Wicked Wednesday prompt is interesting because as a virgin raised up in a religion that strongly discourages sexual relations before marriage…I can say for the most part….I am celibate. I am not married, have never been married….never had sex and I can go as far to say that I have never kissed anyone ever, (gasp I know). And I can say it in this community, in complete context and, without feeling embarrassed (lol). I mean there is a level of embarrassment, here and there, because some might assume that because I haven’t done any of those things that I don’t know what I like/what I want. Oh but I do, my friend…I do, and I know what you could want too.’

Dinah from Ode To Dinah

My third offering from the celibacy prompt is as you’ve probably realised from Ella Scandal. Her post Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder was raw, honest and made me feel quite emotional. Infidelity is always a hot topic, and everyone has an opinion on how it should be dealt with, I know not from personal experience, but from watching other go through it that it can never be as simple as people make it out to be. Not only does Ella’s post reflect that, but I think she deals sensitively with the aftermath of infidelity and how when both parties want the same thing a relationship can survive these things.

Part of the reason I find posts like this so touching is because I often feel like I didn’t try hard enough to save my own marriage, which didn’t end due to infidelity, if that’s relevant and it’s not that I wish I had my ex back, and I especially don’t want to trade Bakji in for a different life, but so many of my hopes and dreams were made with my ex and the reality is that they can no longer happen and sometimes that makes me sad and it means I feel a poignant sense of joy when others made it through to the other side of their struggles, still together and still happy.

During conversations with friends concerned about the state of my marriage, I would often refer to myself as being celibate, largely as a joke to take the edge off the uncomfortable reality of my situation. I didn’t truly equate my touch-ban with celibacy because the word holds more weight than I felt my circumstances could hold up. I wasn’t abstaining for religious reasons, or social ones, or cultural. I was doing it to protect my heart from further damage.

Ella Scandal from Scandarella

As they are all fairly serious posts I am going to lighten the mood before, not with erotica but with images. We have now enjoyed Week 2 of Lingerie Is For Everyone, which I personally am loving and I love Violet Fawkes for starting such a celebratory meme. My first image is my favourite from this week’s entries.

All the images were gorgeous but I have to admit to looking at one of them more than once, in fact, every time it comes up on any of my social media feeds I just feel like a big perv, and I’m actually not sorry about that, because it’s all LittleSwitchBitch’s fault for taking such a sexy photo. Check out her post, Lovehoney Elixir Luxury Red Lace Bra Set, to see what I mean. On a side note it was also a great review and now I want to but the set myself.

My second image is from the current selection of February PhotoFest images. The link-up is open for another 14 days, so you still have plenty of time to join in and as those getting involved posting at least one image every day, there are many more images to come. Which means my chosen favourite is just one of many sexy delights we going to be enjoying through February.

My February PhotoFest share is from Mx Nillin who shared their post Feeling Good for Day 1 of #FPF2019 and in return got a big ramble from me in their replies. I am cisgendered, meaning that my gender is what was assigned to me at birth, which was and is female and I don’t suppose that’s likely to change. However, I’ve identified with some part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum for my entire life and I love seeing it more thoroughly represented and bloggers like Mx Nillin are widening that representation and I think that is valuable and much needed. I know some of my readers will identify with some of Mx Nillin’s posts and I think their posts might be just the encouragement needed to being sharing themselves.

As for what I’ve been sharing here on the blog, you can be forgiven for missing it, because there’s been a few, so here they all:

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March.