Sexualisation a danger to teen health

Steve Biddulph

In the teenage parties of my youth, there was always a room left in darkness, furnished with armchairs and couches, where couples could retire from the melee to “pash on” in privacy. By midnight, adolescent hormones being what they are, there was barely a spare place left. Reliably, one of those left out of these delights would reach in and flick on the light switch, revealing a blur of withdrawn hands and hastily rearranged clothing, before a chorus of protest sent them scuttling away.

I am reminded of this whenever La Trobe University brings out its six-yearly report on Australian teen sexuality, our nation’s best guess at what young people as a whole are doing, and thinking, about sex. I say guess because the reality, as the study’s authors readily admit, is far more complex.

Which you would never guess from the coverage. Reporting of the study’s latest findings painted a sunny picture, which the media quickly spun into that four-word phrase that so reassures both slack parents and academics fearing the dreaded slur of “moral panic”. The kids are OK was the universal conclusion. Out of the limelight though, there were howls of outrage from those close to young people - teachers, therapists, sexual health specialists, because when you work with the drowning, the average height above sea level is not a great consolation.

Overall, the news is good. Australian year 10 and year 12 students are a positive bunch. Whether they have begun to have sex or not - and the breakdown is almost 50-50 - they are happy with their choices. They mostly don’t feel pressured. They think about contraception, and often even use it. Surprisingly few drink to excess, or take drugs, and the newer practices, such as sending photos of one’s breasts or genitals to interested parties among the opposite sex, have settled into the pattern of courtship behaviour without too much terrible consequence.

So, you might ask, what have we been worried about? The answer lies in what every student of psychology 101 learns about statistics; that the average isn’t the truth. At least as far as individuals go.

In the past decade, the American Psychologists Association and similar groups have expressed grave concerns about the sexualisation of children, declaring it to be the greatest single danger to their mental health. The term sexualisation, as opposed to sexuality, describes the fact that while we are all born sexual, some of us have sex thrust upon us. Paedophilia is sexualisation. So is rape. But so is the need to wear a low-cut dress to get a job in television. Or be noticed when you are 14 and feeling unappreciated.

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We can sexualise ourselves, though it's the culture around us, and the lack of moderating adult care and support in our lives, that predispose us to act so unwisely. To sell ourselves out.

In my book Raising Girls I tell the story of Kaycee, who aged 14 has sex with a much older boy at a party. She finds out almost straight away that he was doing it for a bet with friends. “Cherry picking” as it is attractively called, is a sport in Australian country towns, according to health workers who contacted me after the report’s release, concerned at the false reassurance that governments might take from the findings.

The point of Kaycee’s story is not the awfulness of boys. It's that we are, with a combination of neglect and naivety, setting up vulnerable kids for misuse. This generation of girls is hammered with media messages, which hundreds of studies have shown lead to increased anxiety about their worth, which they equate almost exclusively with their appearance. And that this correlates with deciding to have sex earlier and with less enjoyment or sense of agency. Of course, when surveyed, they are likely to say they chose to do so. Kaycee didn’t tell her parents until three years later, when her drinking and falling school marks forced them to seek help.

The La Trobe studies, in the fine detail, do actually show what sex educators and teachers are telling me. That essentially there are two distinct teenage experiences available in Australia, as different as chalk and cheese.

Most kids are indeed fine. They progress into sexuality cautiously, and gradually. Since intimacy is about trust, it needs time, and small missteps are part of the learning. Touching and kissing may be enough for many, and finding the right person remains a priority. Half of all young people don’t have sex until their late teens or early 20s, and even those who start earlier most often do it with a trusted partner with whom they have built up a relationship.

A world away from this are those found in the study to have had three or more sexual partners during year 10 alone. Let me remind you these are 15-year-olds. Visiting Britain last year, many teachers told me that it was worse. That 12 was now the age when this subgroup of girls began to acquiesce to sexual pressure from usually older boys, and that pornography had shaped the boys' sexuality to be far less considerate, if not outright violent.

Essentially there are two distinct teenage experiences available in Australia, as different as chalk and cheese.

The evidence of this subgroup appears in earlier La Trobe findings in 2008 in which the year 10s oddly appear to be more more promiscuous than the year 12s. This is because of something the study doesn’t mention - that the most risk-taking cohort of young people are the one in five who don’t continue to year 12. Their lives are headed for poverty, divorce, domestic violence and substance abuse at many times the rate of the average Australian. Sex isn’t their only problem, but it's certainly a central one.

There’s one other crucial point that must be made. The good news in this year’s La Trobe study - the fact kids are not all succumbing to forced or unhappy sex, too young, or too drunk, or with too many different people - didn’t happen by chance. A pitched battle is taking place with concerted efforts from educators, parents and feminist groups such as Collective Shout, against the uncaring and downright exploitive marketers and the tendency of some parents to put their heads in the sand about the flood of pornography and meanness that the internet brings. If the kids are OK, it's because some adults never lost sight of the need to advocate for them, defend them, educate them, and give them the self-belief to choose wisely and well.