Forgotten how to handle flirting

I've been single since the dawn of time. Busy with work, dc. Happy with it, no time for anything else. Then, last night there was someone at a party .. kept flirting with me, kissed me .. and I panicked! Basically froze him out the rest of the evening, it was like being 18 again. It was a small group of friends, mostly in couples, so the kissing stuff was a bit of of place. He and I were the only single ones and it was NYE ...I liked him and was attracted to him but I literally didn't know what to do! Life is just too busy to fit anyone else in and I really am too old for one nighters. I've been on my own with dc this Xmas, then they went to their dad's; I must admit I've felt a few twinges of lonliness. I had more or less accepted that I was over and done on the romantic side of things so it was really disconcerting to think that someone found me attractive, even with the beer googles on. Life is so much simpler when it's just me .. and yet, am I cutting myself off from potential happiness as well as a lot of hassle? It made me realise how useless I am with this side of life. And how I miss having someone, really. How would mnetters handle being kissed at a party? That's it, really. It's a ridiculous question from someone in their forties - years ago I'd have been fine but last night it totally threw me!

Depends if I liked the person kissing me!!! If 'yes' I'd have snogged them right back, batted the old eye-lashes and shouted 'have that man washed and sent to my room!'. If 'no' I'd have pulled away, batted the old eye-lashes, sent him to get me another drink and then wedged myself between one of the other couples hissing 'help!!'.

really, really out of practise - this hasn't happened to me since the 1990s I did snog him back then someone came in so I jumped away from him and pretended to be busy doing something with glassware. Then I more or less ignored him! argh!He was nice and very funny.

So you liked him.... <rubs hands, matchmaker plan forming> . Your girlish hard-to-get act probably struck just the right note and I expect he's scouring the streets this morning, glass slipper in hand, hoping to find you. Agree with the above about getting a contact number and suggesting meeting for coffee. Go on... what have you got to lose?

Yes, I am quite flattered! It just shows what a skirt and heels can do ...(mind you he was dressed as a chicken ...)He's a friend of friends so I could get in touch but I don't think he lives round here and we both have dc so logistics rule out a relationship.It has made me think, though.

Time to chisel a door into that wall. I've been single for far longer than I care to remember and also, initially, found it very difficult to let down my defences long enough to have a relationship with someone new for fear of getting hurt. However, by setting the bar high, keeping my 'twat radar' finely tuned and being honest with men from the outset.... e.g. dating/fun/nookie yes, moving in and rearranging my groceries, no.... it is possible to get the best of both worlds.

yes, it was a really lovely party! lol chimcar, you def have watched too many romcoms!but get this, update, have been invited to dinner with the same group of mates later so the fat lady hasn't sung yetam gonna pretend none of last night happened and just be friendly, I think that is the only way to stop myself acting like a plank - good,yes? jeans and a white shirt?

If you pretend nothing happened when you see him again you'll come across either very cold or a bit weird. Why not make a (nice) joke of it instead? Break the ice. 'Sorry I ran out on you on NYE but it's been a while since I kissed a chicken...' etc.

I am a bit weird I think! Neither of us will have beer goggles on today so it seems better to just go back to normal (adds bricks to wall)you know, friendly, smiley I am so gauche when it comes to this kind of stuffanyway I didn't run out on him he crashed out long before me lol

OK so your opening line changes so give it a bit of thought and use your charm rather than automatically putting up the defence shields, downplaying things or thinking he only liked you because he was pissed. (Or are you worried you only liked him because you were pissed?)

I wasn't all that pissed, I am quite sensible these days and intersperse the bubbly with water - I did like him, I just wasn't expecting it and it has really thrown me. I am useless at being charming when I like someone. But I hear you, and I'll do my very best!

You're welcome. Look at it this way.... you charmed him plenty last night so you're really just picking up where you left off. It's going to be awkward to begin with but, as one walled-up crusty old broad to another, I have huge faith that you won't need to do much more than smile to get the ball rolling.

Ooh, I miss this! Sooo exciting. Put a dress on and do your hair scruffy/nice. Have some topics of conversation as a fall back (London fireworks, comedy shows you've seen or something equally light). Also wear good pants. You may not need either of these things but you'll feel more confident if you know you've got them. Happy new year, indeed!

yeah I've got da pants! no intention of showing them but I know they're there! thanks for all the votes of confidenceI will do my best not to let y'all downfeeling a bit icky now, maybe I overdid it just a smidgeon xxxxit's not a romantic dinner it's a group roast (not in the footballer sense)will check in later