Clueless

by Rachel
(Harrisburg, PA)

I have a 5 year old boy that has stumped many counselors and made many psychiatrists make quick if not wrong diagnoses and then change their mind about it later. I was told by the last counselor that evaluated him that she was completely perplexed because he carries symptoms of at least 4 different disorders. He started school last Monday and I received a call 4 days later. I expected the call but hoped that we would at least make it a few more weeks into the school year. They would like me to come in and discuss options for making my son more "comfortable" in a classroom environment. As a mother the only thing I heard was "lets label your son and make this easier for us."

I don't know what to do anymore he is so Jekyll and Hyde that I am at my wits end. He can be the sweetest child that you'll ever meet. He loves ppl and will hug and kiss everyone if they would let him. He's never shown signs of being uncomfortable with touching but he does seem to need to be right in your personal space and have a t least a hand on you at all times. I don't think it's for the Feeling but more for the fact that he truly needs to know someone is there at all times. He tends to become unaware of how he is acting and what he is saying and has absolutely NO self control. Even while sitting at a table he has to be touching something or playing with his hands but other times he can focus with you and carry on lengthy discussions.

He is so emotional that he feels everything to the highest levels. If he's hurt it's the worst pain ever and if you're hurt he's there by your side almost crying with you. But his mood swings are become unbearable.He has been asked to leave to daycares in the past and has even lost friends because of his excessive mood swings. Simple tasks like cleaning up are a 50/50 with him either he's going to help you with a smile on your face or he's going to scream until he's red in the face.

I am fearful that they will push ADHD at this meeting on Tuesday with the school and I am terrified. If anyone has ever been in this situation please help me I could use someone telling me its ok.

Comments for Clueless

Well it's been awhile since that rant and a lot as well as a little has changed. I quit fighting the idea of medicating him and let them medicate him for ADHD about a month and a half ago and although it's been a long stretch of finding the right meds it has helped. He still has issues which we are now starting to think may be mild autism and we are doing everything we can to help him. I've given up hope when it comes to getting help from his school and we've gone out on our own to get him what is called a TSS. It's basically someone to sit and help him throughout the day and sticks to a behavioral plan set up by a therapist and a behavioral specialist. We are taking what to me feels like great huge steps in the right direction but to the school the baby steps are nothing.

He has stopped hitting other students and instead goes into a corner or under a table when he's upset. This isn't acceptable to the school because he's not sitting with his butt glued to a chair. Personally as his mother the fact that he's not hurting himself or anyone else is a HUGE improvement. I'm going to start going to a few support groups and keep having him evaluated and just doing everything I can to help him. I wish you all the best of luck and hopefully you can take some huge steps also.

Mar 23, 2011Rating

Your son and my son could be twins!by: Anonymous

My son sounds EXACTLY like yours. My husband is oppose to me seeking out OT for him or any sort of "diagnosis," but I have gone searching online for SOME IDEA of what the problem might be.

Just like your son, my son is super super super nice. He is very empathetic, kind, friendly, etc. To a fault. He doesn't understand personal space AT ALL. He will hug and kiss strangers over and over even when asked to stop. He will always be fiddling with things and touching things, and it is impossible to get him to really focus on one-on-one conversations with us. He'll have drop on the ground SCREAMING fits. If he gets hurt, if he gets upset, if he is over-tired... anything. Then he is unable to get himself out of it.

Other things he does... He chews and sucks on his shirts, sucks his hands, etc... but didn't start doing this sort of thing until he was almost 4. He was never a mouther as a baby or toddler. At all.

Meanwhile, I feel horrible about it ALL because my husband just wants to punish him non-stop for his behavior and I feel helpless. I also have a younger child too who needs my attention. I am their sole care provider 95% of the time, and it is SOOOO hard to take them out in public for any length of time.

Sep 05, 2010Rating

Diagnosis not always a bad thingby: Rachel

I can definitely understand you being nervous about meeting with the school. It is not easy to feel like you have to constantly defend your child to strangers who really dont know him. However they may really genuinely want to help. I know that when I was first told by a preschool teacher that she thought my daughter had sensory issues I didn't really want to hear it. But in my case it turned out she was right. Unfortunately it took over a year to finally get the professional help we needed even after I was convinced. Psychiatrists were not helpful for us. They only wanted to medicate. It wasnt until we were able to see an occupational therapist that things got better.

I am glad that my daughter has been diagnosed with spd because now she can get the help she needs and the school HAS to accommodate her. If she was not able to take sensory breaks at school it would be a living hell for her! Dont get me wrong everythings not all better now, but at least now she has some rights whereas before she was just labeled as a troublemaker. My advice to you would be to keep seeking an answer, maybe a developmental pediatrician could help you. Or if you think their are sensory issues try to get referred to an OT for an evaluation. And hang in there! I know its tough but it can get better we just got to keep fighting.