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A Letter from a Former “Stupid” Parent

I am a 25 year old married mother of two small boys. Minutes ago, I just finished
reading your book “Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids.” This is why [my reading this] is so timely:

A year ago, some family crisis propelled me into quitting my part-time, yet demanding, job. In many ways, it was a dream job – part-time, flexible, good pay (or so I thought), and fantastic for my resume. My family began to deteriorate rather quickly in spite of our kids not being in day care. My job went to my head, and I spent horrible amounts of time on things that had nothing to do with my family, and even harmed my family relationships. I was being selfish, stupid, and immature as I sought out personal satisfaction and success.

After a major and deserving blow from life, I quit my job, in spite of my board wanting me to stay. In the last year, I have been focusing on my family more, but have been dabbling in a small business. Lately, business has been slow, and I have been praying for it to pick up, or to open my eyes to what God would have me do instead. Stupid, I know, as I have two beautiful sons staring me in the face every day.

A couple of days ago, when I was in the library with my kids, I had this sudden desire to grab a parenting book (no idea what kind), but in a rush I went to the section, perused quickly and grabbed your book. You loudly and clearly stating things I knew in my heart, but hadn’t allowed to be voiced in my head. I really believe this was a divine intervention.

I know that I am not in the season of life to devote lots of time and energy to anything or anyone other than my family. You are completely right about everything you said in your book. Shame on the “so-called” (love how you made fun of that) professionals who tease, shame, and humiliate young, educated women who choose family over career. And shame on we self-proclaimed “strong” women who allow ourselves to be cowed from taking full-time responsibility for our children, family and home life if we are able.

I used to feel embarrassed or apologetic when admitting I was a married mother of two at my age. Now I feel grateful for the path I have chosen, and my joy is full as I recognize the deep personal growth and learning my divinely appointed “job” grants me each and every day as I sacrifice, love, and nurture my family.