What are the characteristics of an alpha male? How does an alpha male behave?

These questions came up in another thread, and I thought they were interesting enough to warrant a separate discussion.

I would love to hear women's ideas about what the term "alpha male" means to them, and whether they find alpha males more attractive than other men.

Before I offer my own opinions, though, I'll begin the thread by providing some info on the linguistic background of the term.

ORIGINS OF THE TERM "ALPHA MALE":

The expression "Alpha Male" comes from the behavioural sciences. It came into common usage from the study of wolves, and then primates -- the head honcho of a pack of wolves or apes is dubbed the "Alpha Male." It can also apply to other community-dwelling animals.

This simple designation is also used in star classification in astronomy - the brightest star in a constellation is alpha, then they go down the Greek alphabet, beta, gamma, delta etc.

Within each pack of wolves, for example, is an elaborate hierarchy. It usually consists of:

A single breeding pair, the Alpha male and female, which are the leaders of the pack

A lower group consisting of non-breeding adults, each with its own ranking

A group of immature wolves on their way up

A group of outcasts

The alpha male and female are the ones with the most experience in hunting, defending territory, and other important activities. Other pack members respect their positions and follow their leadership in almost all things. The alpha wolves are usually the ones to make decisions for the pack, such as when the group should go out to hunt or move from one place to another. The other pack members all have positions in the hierarchy inferior to those of the alpha male and female.

Gold Member

I always seem to fall for alpha males. IMO, they are the leaders of the pack, have the brightest smiles, can be oh so charming and get you to do things normally you wouldn't (sometimes a good thing; sometimes a bad thing). Now granted these attributes are shallow thinking on my part but when I am with alpha males I feel safe and secure, they'll take care of me as long as I take care of them.
As for penis size, it is a mixed bag though the ones I have been with are indeed on the larger size.
My bf, with whom I have been with for 7 years plus, is considered an alpha male and yes, he does have a large penis.

An alpha male is confident, powerful, and has a commanding presence. He is sexy, but he may or may not be handsome -- his attractiveness lies more in his personality and social position than his looks.

People in his social circle think so highly of him that they defer to his opinion in most things.

Women are attracted to him, probably for instinctive and biological reasons. The human genome is not all that different from that of apes, and there is probably some primal drive in every woman that recognizes the most intelligent and powerful male as the ideal mate -- he has good genes and the ability to protect her and her offspring.

Even though I don't plan to have any offspring, I must have a lot of "ape" in me, because I'm often attracted to alpha males.

(That said, I have an equally strong attraction to the "class clown." I often prefer the "funny guy" over the "top dog." But if the "funny guy" happens to be the "top dog," then I am in some serious trouble!)

How does an alpha male behave?

He is a leader, but not a bully or an autocrat. He has earned the trust of others by making good decisions and decisively carrying them out. He is not timid, and is comfortable telling others what to do.

Although he has great authority, he does not abuse it. He may be somewhat arrogant and egotistical, but he is not self-absorbed. He may ask a lot of others, but he does so with respect. He cares about and is protective of the members of his "pack."

He doesn't put up with any shit from group members or outsiders, though. He is clear on his own identity and boundaries, and lets others know when they have crossed the line. He addresses conflict directly, but not in a cruel or demeaning manner.

Gold Member

Well, for sure I understand that scientists research and come up with many terms but to me is very strange to apply it and box it on to human males because of 1) the uniquiness of personality traits mix all of them have. Plus you can see Alpha traits more clear in some than others but the others may be an alpha too...
2) Is just that heavy academic education invironement tend to shape people in 'mass' thinking, repress the natural expression on a male. Men becomes full of PC and with many layers...
3) Big cities, metro life, competition and stuff and people living so inside themselves, in small space, and focus on so much individuality makes vibes even stranger...

Now we can see leaders just when they are very material sucessful and by their sexual conquers...is all a mess of values. And 'good' men sindrome the academic educated sooo plastic to me...and the ones in the skirts of society not sucessful not much educated, many become violent, belonging to gangs...

I saw that Friday's tv series "Men in trees" few times and message vibes, I like that kind of men and environement. Is just a tv series but it shows what many women in big cities may crave. and their life is missing too. Than depending of environemnt and etc anyone would behave different because of pressures, stress and so many things going on.

I do have my own traits that will attract and fit specific males traits, and it may be an 'alpha' because common 'global' leadership traits that for sure is important but with modifications regarding values because cultural stuff.

Ah! We get to the meat of this site. It is all about the alpha male here. Before I get to my answer to the question, let me say that I find it interesting that in the discussion of celebrity penises on this site, the men said to have large ones are almost always the ones with strong personalities. Once in awhile I see it suggested that a man with a quieter, more reserved persona is hung, and usually the response is one of doubt. I think this shows that we think strong men have strong personalities, and we think penis size is representative of that. In other words, for some people (and particular some gay men I think), penis size is an issue not because of the penis but because of what we think the penis indicates about the man.

OK, off my soapbox. What is an alpha male? Well, really the alpha male is only one thing: the alpha male is a male who will not tolerate the presence of another adult male. That is what an alpha male is in the animal kingdom. He must always be the top dog and he wants all the women for himself, and he is so insecure that to accomplish this he must keep all other males out of the group entirely. Think of this what you will .

Gold Member

What are the characteristics of an alpha male? How does an alpha male behave?

These questions came up in another thread, and I thought they were interesting enough to warrant a separate discussion.

I would love to hear women's ideas about what the term "alpha male" means to them, and whether they find alpha males more attractive than other men.

Before I offer my own opinions, though, I'll begin the thread by providing some info on the linguistic background of the term.

ORIGINS OF THE TERM "ALPHA MALE":

The expression "Alpha Male" comes from the behavioural sciences. It came into common usage from the study of wolves, and then primates -- the head honcho of a pack of wolves or apes is dubbed the "Alpha Male." It can also apply to other community-dwelling animals.

This simple designation is also used in star classification in astronomy - the brightest star in a constellation is alpha, then they go down the Greek alphabet, beta, gamma, delta etc.

Within each pack of wolves, for example, is an elaborate hierarchy. It usually consists of:

A single breeding pair, the Alpha male and female, which are the leaders of the pack

A lower group consisting of non-breeding adults, each with its own ranking

A group of immature wolves on their way up

A group of outcasts

The alpha male and female are the ones with the most experience in hunting, defending territory, and other important activities. Other pack members respect their positions and follow their leadership in almost all things. The alpha wolves are usually the ones to make decisions for the pack, such as when the group should go out to hunt or move from one place to another. The other pack members all have positions in the hierarchy inferior to those of the alpha male and female.

Click to expand...

I'm glad you used both definitions for alpha male because I think there's a difference in meaning although each are accurate in description. I think of the animal kingdom reference as the more aggressive alpha male definition. Alpha males lead the pack and reign by using physical strength to dominate others whereas the astronomical reference simply describes how the alpha male "shines" brighter than all others without use of force.

I tend to be attracted to the "Astronomical" Alpha male rather than the "Animal kingdom" Alpha male. Men who are innately talented, curious, have varied interests, walk to the beat of their own drum, wholly unique-often not knowing just how brightly they shine-capture my attention more than those who seek power by gain (money, possessions, etc), more prestige, popularity, or a driven by a singular goal.

I've noticed either type often possesses the ability to walk into a room and gain the immediate attention of everyone but often for different reasons including the ones I listed above. The "Animal Kingdom" Alpha male seeks the attention he receives while the "Astronomical" Alpha male doesn't necessarily seek attention from others but receives it anyway.

An alpha male is confident, powerful, and has a commanding presence. He is sexy, but he may or may not be handsome -- his attractiveness lies more in his personality and social position than his looks.

People in his social circle think so highly of him that they defer to his opinion in most things.

Women are attracted to him, probably for instinctive and biological reasons. The human genome is not all that different from that of apes, and there is probably some primal drive in every woman that recognizes the most intelligent and powerful male as the ideal mate -- he has good genes and the ability to protect her and her offspring.

Even though I don't plan to have any offspring, I must have a lot of "ape" in me, because I'm often attracted to alpha males.

(That said, I have an equally strong attraction to the "class clown." I often prefer the "funny guy" over the "top dog." But if the "funny guy" happens to be the "top dog," then I am in some serious trouble!)

How does an alpha male behave?

He is a leader, but not a bully or an autocrat. He has earned the trust of others by making good decisions and decisively carrying them out. He is not timid, and is comfortable telling others what to do.

Although he has great authority, he does not abuse it. He may be somewhat arrogant and egotistical, but he is not self-absorbed. He may ask a lot of others, but he does so with respect. He cares about and is protective of the members of his "pack."

He doesn't put up with any shit from group members or outsiders, though. He is clear on his own identity and boundaries, and lets others know when they have crossed the line. He addresses conflict directly, but not in a cruel or demeaning manner.

He wears power comfortably.

Click to expand...

Um actually that is what I meant to say but as always you put it so much better. Thanks!

Gold Member

The last thread became so heated because it was started and led by an idiot who wasn't much past the alpha monkey stadium. LOL, He sent me a PM complimenting about my big mamas, at least he had eyes :wink:

Other than that, I could stamp verified & true on most things Chrysalis put into an Alpha male's characteristics, she reflects my own opinions nearly identically. The power of what I conceive an alpha male to be is something more underlying, it's not always an apparent power. I guess it has a lot to do with things one can't learn, and has to grow into.

I may err, but these characteristics is one of the reasons why a great number of companies hire ret. military personnel, officers mainly, for their leading positions. Besides obvious learned skills and trained professions, "incorporated authority" is a big factor, these people have learned for years to be in charge of others, and they radiate that attitude in a special way.

I think Chrysalis wrote one very important sentence: He wears his power comfortably. It doesn't look "learned" or tacked-on with him, he knows his powers and handles it naturally.

I don't think that leadership is something that we are born with or grow into without learning. I believe that it is a learned trait.
I reference my experience in the military where young men, sometimes almost meek by their nature, are first charged with the responsibility for the welfare of others, their only models for behavior being the leaders appointed over them. Watching closely you can even map some of the traits and attitudes fo some people to the leaders they were first exposed to.
From what I can tell the one common trait of good leaders I have known has been to align themselves and associate with other good leaders as mentors. The only way to learn good leadership is by example. No other way.
Thios process can hapen very early in life, thus the perception that some people are born being leaders.

Gold Member

I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. There are certain qualities that go into being a good leader. Depending upon the individuals personality some may come to the table with the raw material to make a good leader but life and specific experience does refine it. I also think that it depends upon what field one is discussing. There are some areas were certain personality traits naturally shine brighter....

I don't think that leadership is something that we are born with or grow into without learning. I believe that it is a learned trait.
I reference my experience in the military where young men, sometimes almost meek by their nature, are first charged with the responsibility for the welfare of others, their only models for behavior being the leaders appointed over them. Watching closely you can even map some of the traits and attitudes fo some people to the leaders they were first exposed to.
From what I can tell the one common trait of good leaders I have known has been to align themselves and associate with other good leaders as mentors. The only way to learn good leadership is by example. No other way.
Thios process can hapen very early in life, thus the perception that some people are born being leaders.

The first time I was referred to as an "Alpha Male" I immediately read up on the topic on the net and found the animal kingdom definition (which includes "doesn't tolerate the presence of other alpha males). I am much happier here to see that some of us now know that while that definition may apply to wolves and apes, it doesn't apply to human alpha males (although I'm sure in some cases it does).

Gold Member

I tend to be attracted to the "Astronomical" Alpha male rather than the "Animal kingdom" Alpha male. Men who are innately talented, curious, have varied interests, walk to the beat of their own drum, wholly unique-often not knowing just how brightly they shine-capture my attention more than those who seek power by gain (money, possessions, etc), more prestige, popularity, or a driven by a singular goal.

Click to expand...

That's a wonderful way to define the difference. Sometime in human society evolving away from the animal ways, I think we redfined "Alpha Male" into a much more refined version. The astronomical Alpha is a true modern Renaissance man. Able to inspire people to follow his lead by true virtue and good judgement. Charismatic enough to enable people to just feel good about themselves by association with him. They typically seem to accomplish all that an "animal alpha" gets without the aggression and violence.

We still have the "animal alpha" they are the schoolyard bully, the overbearing boss and the obnoxious kock that we can all identify with. Fortunately for our evolution, it looks like society is leaving them behind with each generation.

i always thought the alpha male was the one to which the other males submit. so it's not so much what he does, but how the others treat him. i don't know that any act of dominance is required to prove alpha male status.

i always thought the alpha male was the one to which the other males submit. so it's not so much what he does, but how the others treat him. i don't know that any act of dominance is required to prove alpha male status.

Click to expand...

That's how I've always thought of it too. From reading this thread I'm learning there's apparently a new definition of alpha male in which "alpha male" basically means "a good catch." I've always thought of alpha males as being dominant an intolerant of any competition or challenges, sort of the traditional animal kingdom definition.

This is a topic I have thought of a lot myself. Likely I could get banned after only a few days but I don't care. Its important stuff.

Some background stats. Today about 55% of college degrees are given to females. In African American community its way way worse. African American females have to marry far below their educational level if they want to marry a black male. White males are now beggining to fall behind white females.

A lot here have very accurately defined alpha male. Chrysalis and Mercurial SEE it clearly.

i would be classically defined as an alpha male. 6'1" 195, fairly muscular, 150 IQ. Goodlooking and very intelligent/athletic, in a room of men I am sure I would be better than most if not all, age included, in any intelligence/athletic event. Great genetics, but thats just blind luck.

Does that make me an alpha male? Nope. Makes me an internet braggart. If that were it it would also make me a loser.

I have been self employed since I was 26. Always met a payroll, not a paycheck. This year I employed 25 people. Thats a pretty valued stat. Have a very high 6 figure maybe this year 7 figure income. Instantly that puts me in a small subset of men. Doesn't make me an alpha male tho. The next thing does make me an alpha.

This learned trait ( as so astutely noted by WRAT) is what separates men from boys, making quick decisive responsible decisions. People, both men and women, are drawn to men (or women) who can lead and make good decisions. Trust me i interview/evaluate lots of people and there are so few that can make a f****** decsion! W/O going into specific detail, occasionally I offer very lucrative business opportunities to well educated (PHD) candidates and OMf***gawd, in todays marketplace it's young women 26-35 years old who are the only ones capable of pulling the trigger and creating valued futures for themselves. Similar aged Men are in retreat.

I had to learn how to make decisions. Or you fail. Be decisive! Learn stuff. I bet I could take any lady on this board shopping and pick out the best clothes for her. BTW i love Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik stilettos, Vera Wang or Badgley/Mischka dresses, Juicy Couture for younger women. Swarovski crystal bra? Yummy. (Now I am showboating)

This is for Gisella. You are right. Learn the world around you, don't destroy it. Go to the Ufizzi, an art museum in Florence Italy or the Met in NY and see and appreciate true beauty. Learn to order dinner for yourself AND your lady for goodness sake. There are 275 great books every man should read per Esquire magazine. Read as many as you can.

The ladies here are very gracious and complimentary, for a big dick site LOL, but I cringe a bit when I see a man post his pics and beg/whine for praise. I instantly think in the back of my mind *loser.* Leaders don't ask for praise, they generate praise. And they admit their errors (doubt Geo. W is here).

Rambling a bit but you may get my drift.

For Studhunter: I have a degree in biology and I get to see a true alpha male at work. I own a small ranch/ranchette in the mountains. Every fall there is a 300 number elk herd on my land. There are a few alpha male bulls (called monarchs) that have female harems of 20-50 females. They spend the entire rutting season defending their females from juvenile males who want some elk pussy. They never get even a few minutes to graze. They run from female to female keeping the lonely spike males off. The larger the harem the more territory they have to defend. So some of the young studs get sneak in to breed and make a few calves. Some of the alphas are so weak from the rut and fucking and defending they die in the winter.