Being gay-friendly today for a better tomorrow

I’m not an activist. There are things I strongly (or maybe not strongly enough) believe in but not to the point of marching down the streets raising a protest board. I look up to all those passionate people who devote their time to fight for important causes though, I really do. I just don’t have it in me.

“Being gay-friendly today for a better tomorrow” is one of the things I strongly believe in and I think it’s very often overlooked. You hear and read a lot about eradicating poverty, ending wars, protecting the environment, ending racism, stopping animal cruelty etc. in the hope of creating a better world. How about we all try to better ourselves by becoming more accepting and tolerant of (sexual) diversity?

I live very closely with homosexuality everyday and it is a topic that I hold close to my heart. Society has come a long way in terms of acknowledging and accepting homosexuals but we still have a very long way to go before homosexuals are able to freely live their sexuality without being classified as ‘not normal’ or sometimes as second-class citizens who don’t have the same rights as the ‘normal’ people. I will not go into legal issues and religious beliefs here because I want to get a bit more personal with this topic.

We all want a better tomorrow. If it’s not for ourselves, we want it for our children, our grandchildren and our generation to come. Thanks to the level of support there is nowadays for homosexuals, more and more people find the inner strength to come out of the closet– to their friends, to their family and sometimes to strangers. I can only imagine the courage homosexuals must have to strip naked as such to their loved ones… The fear to disappoint, fear of being hurt and rejected. Just for the courage itself, to be as honest and be willing to put themselves in such a vulnerable position, is enough to give them a gold star…and a big hug!

I don’t know what it’s like to be gay. All I know is that they don’t have it easy as they are constantly fighting a never-ending battle – the struggle to be accepted and to fit in, to be acknowledged as human beings in the first place, the constant judgement etc. Most gay people don’t have that freedom to simply be themselves 24/7. Just an example, making new friends can be daunting for them. At what point do I tell them? Will they treat me any differently? Will we still be friends? My point is, life is more complicated when you’re gay.

I don’t know where you stand when it comes to homosexuality – are you gay-friendly or are you a homophobe? Some of you claim to be ‘gay-friendly’ as long as it doesn’t involve your kids or siblings. That’s not being gay-friendly, at all! Just want to make that point clear. To me, being gay-friendly simply means to accept and respect them for who they are, irrespective of their sexual orientations.

In the midst of all the hardships, homosexuals are like you and me…They can survive public judgement, sexual discrimination and they’ll fight until their last breaths for their rights etc if they have to. But one of the hardest things for them, one thing that can really (slowly) destroy them, is the lack of family support. Like any children (kids or adult children), the worse feeling in the world is to disappoint our parents. We all want to make our parents proud and we all want that emotional security knowing our parents will always be there for us, no matter what. It is probably the only guarantee one can have as far as human relationships are concerned. Yet, some people are deprived of it. Homosexuals who don’t have the support of their parents and family live every single day fearing their parents might ‘shun’ them at any moment.

I don’t know what it’s like to be the mother of a gay child. However I can imagine the shock of parents, the fear for their child’s future (how society will accept/reject them, whether they’ll face discrimination, how they’ll handle relationships etc) Nobody plans on having gay kids, and no parent can be prepared enough for this. It just hits them like a tonne of bricks…the exact same way it hits upon the gay child when he/she realises he/she is an homosexual. Nobody decides to be gay.

I’m sure it’s hard for any parent when he/she finds out his/her child is gay. Some deal with it better than others. Some need more time than others to digest it all. But at the end of the day, I think it’s important to remember that it’s ten times harder for the child. By not accepting your own child the way he/she is, by not giving him/her your unconditional love and support, you’re making it 100 times harder for them to be happy in life. I strongly believe you can go through anything in life as long as you have family support.

If you don’t have kids yet and you’re reading this, ask yourself a question – what if one of my kids is gay? It can happen to any parent, no matter the race, skin colour or religion. Wouldn’t you want a better world for your child. If you’re one of those to ridicule homosexuals, to use the f word as an insult or one who bad mouths homosexuals, what sentiment are you contributing to society’s view of the gay community? Just think that maybe, just maybe, you might be shooting yourself in the foot because your own child or your grand child could be gay and you’ve created, or helped create a world full of hatred for your own generation to come.

Even if homosexuals, everywhere around the world get the same rights as heterosexuals, even if society is fully accepting of the gay community, even if homosexuality wasn’t condemned by church or any other religion, nothing will provide the same happiness to a homosexual than the unconditional love and support of his/her parents and family.

2 Comments

sonia leong son

Hello, I respect your views and your convictions. I have 5 children. My Church(Catholic), to which I belong, DO NOT reject or comdemn homosexuals, but homosexuality- there is a HUGE difference to that. It is like cancer- if someone has cancer- you won’t reject him, but you will try to help cure the cancer.
I have listened to testimonies of boys and girls, who used to be homosexuals- who managed to be cured of their homosexuality after putting their despair in
God’s hands- with the support of their family, their Church , they CAN be freed of their homosexuality. I believe in my God, Jesus-Christ, and that he has created us man and woman different, in order to complete each other. I have faith in Him. If one of my children do become homosexual- I will never reject him- but support him with all my strength , my heart and with God’s unconditional Love and will pray and believe that my child will be cured.
Today’s world is sick, telling homosexuals that they are ‘normal’ is not good- supporting them is helping them to be freed from it- that is what my church and my God tells me and I try to live by it..
These are my convictions. I just wanted to share them with you. You do not have to abide by them, but just as I respect yours, I hope that you will respect mine..Take care and God bless

My post was around being gay-friendly and although we don’t share the same opinion on the matter, you still proved to be friendly to gay people. I don’t expect everyone to share my views but if at least everyone could have the same approach as you do on homosexuality, the world would have been a better place. As I said, I won’t go into religious views or beliefs on homosexuality because to me what the church says and what i believe God says, don’t always match up.

We share very different views but you still showed respect and I, in turn, have respect for your approach.