If there is one thing you are planning on learning this year, please consider making it saying no.

One of my friends calls herself a prisoner of her own politeness. It is funny and cute, until one realizes how much this little name entails. And then one realizes that most of us are, in fact, prisoners to our own politeness. Stubbornness. Prior plans. Perfectionism. Peer pressure. Need to belong. Need to feel different. Stress. Laziness.

Ourselves and the world around us.

Here on my blog I talk a lot about freedom and choices, and how much it matters for us to be the agents of our own lives. Which, of course, always comes with not-very-predefined consequences too, as all magic has its own price tag (yes, even bunnies). There are many many ways to achieve this level of freedom, sometimes, but saying no opens doors that no other word is capable of.

If you’re reading this blog regularly, you’re probably well aware of the fact that I lost my mind and decided to turn my life upside down HERE, NOW and IN ALL ASPECTS AT THE SAME TIME. Well, I might have gotten a bit carried away. And one of the elements to this master plan of destruction was finding a new job.

My mum always says I am the luckiest thing in the world when it comes to interviews and such; and since my general life luck is well described by my affiliation with black cats I’d rather blame it on some internal charm that only activates when I am wearing a suit. It does make my job hunting adventures sweet and short though – surely I am holding some sort of record for this by now – so I thought, you know, it’s time to share my big secret with the world.

The only problem is… There is really no secret? Just a bunch of stumbling in the dark and wondering what will stick. [Read more…]

The first time I remember someone making a cutting comment about my weight was back in primary school, around 5th grade, I think. There was a girl, a rather hefty one, especially for an 11 year old – she would run around and call me names because I was, well, am, very skinny. I remember my mum telling me in a comforting voice that at the end of the day, it is always easier to gain weight than to lose it. Back then it was all the explanation I needed and I shook it off like a doggie after a muddy walk in the forest. Now that I am a grown-up woman I know that that was neither the fair answer, nor true – as gaining weight is actually very difficult.

I remember this particular response from my mum not because this girl has stayed in my memory more than others – but because I have heard it over and over again down the years. Any time I’d try to tell her that people have a problem with how I look, I’d get this very response; and that is not because my mum is a bully to overweight people, I mean, she is married to my dad (sorry, dad), No. She is just but a little part of a general trend. People, we, me and you, tend to assume that gaining weight is easy and losing weight is hard.