November 02, 2006

Looks like the Liberals are beginning to line up to get new jobs in the Patrick administration. Since I was one of the first people to actually make fun of Kerry Healey (before she started being a caricature of some Republican from Utah) I feel that I should be considered as well and I've made up a partial list of jobs that I would accept in the new administration:

- I want to be the guy who grades the MCAS.

- I want to be the guy who decides what's smart growth and what's dumb growth.

- I want to be the guy who signs the checks for vacation pay at MassPort.

- I want to be the guy who runs the GPS tracking Mitt Romney (I know, not strictly an administration job, but it would have been interesting for the past two years).

- I want to be the guy who signs the checks going to Bechtel.

- I want to be the guy who decides what a quasi-public agency is.

- I want to be the guy who finally understands the difference between the Charlie Card and the Charlie Ticket.

- I want to be the guy who educates the citizens of the Commonwealth as to who Charlie was.

- I want to be the guy who figures out what all those MBTA fare collectors are going to do from now on (move to cell phones?).

- I want to be the guy who figures out how Mitt gets credit for a universal health care bill that doesn't cover 40,000 kids.

- I want to be the guy who figures out where the hell the American Dream went to.

- I want to be the guy who figures out how to harness the greatest wind energy resource in the Commonwealth - the Massachusetts General Court.

- I want to be the guy who defogs the vague Patrick rhetoric and figures out how to put things back together after the Weld-Cellucci-Swift-Romney administrations (or, on second thought, maybe I don't).

Deval, I'll be waiting by the phone on November 8th. I am available for any and all of these positions. Hope to hear from you soon.

November 01, 2006

Rush Limbaugh seems to be upset about the fact that people with Parkinson's Disease shake, in particular Michael J. Fox. Now Mr. L knows something about dramatics and also something about drugs. Who is better qualified to comment on the interaction of the two? Finally Rush has some actual expertise in something that he's commenting on. It had to happen at some point, I suppose.

I'm not very well informed these days. I stopped getting the Globe everyday and I've taken up hiding under the bed (something the cat doesn't much care for since this is his territory) since I saw too many of those Kerry Healey commercials.

So, first I heard something vague about John Kerry finally having stood up for something that he said, but then it turns out that he ended up apologizing for what he said and it turns out that he couldn't even tell a decent joke.

Makes one wonder what good it's going to do if the Democrats actually do take over the House. (And also it makes me wonder when I'll be able to come out from under the bed.)