Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Fucking Brilliant Idea

HAIRY COOCHY LOVER

I know this is probably a waste of time but its really a hard thing to find a nice hairy pussy to eat on a regular basis. Can you imagine if i set up a road side booth and asked all the ladies that stopped by if they had a hairy snack?

Somewhere along the way all you ladies shaved it off. Bad Bad Bad I do have pictures and truth be told im really not a bad looking dude. Ijust wanted a way to see some yummy hairy snacks.Tim

Tim, that is a great idea! I don't know why no one has thought of it before.

Let's set up a booth on the side of the road, and then put a big white sign on top of our booth that begs the question "Do you have a hairy snack?"

Why, we can call it the Hairy Snack Shack. Get it, Tim? It rhymes! And I'm not very good at rhyming, Tim, but it's kind of like your name rhymes with holy fucking shityou're a dickwad.

And what educated, smart, beautiful woman worth dating could possibly resist stopping by a small roadside shack haphazardy constructed with the pizza boxes leftover from your small rental studio in back of a fucking hog barn and manned by an impotent, weak, uneducated dolt sitting in a broken folding chair, twiddling his thumbs and rubbing his genitals with a jar of edible child's paste?

You know what else I think is SO funny about this? Did you ever notice every loser guy on earth thinks the way to a woman's heart is oral sex? And that we are as desperate for it as they are, and if they pepper their ad with references to how much they loooooove to eat pussy, they'll score for sure?

Bzzzzzztttttt!

First of all, most of you aren't very good at it. If it was our top priority, we'd be lesbians, because (so I am told, ha ha) that is who is actually good at it.

Secondly, it may come as a shock, but some of us really aren't that interested in it and really are just looking for a big cock that stays hard without the blue pills and is (here's the tough part) attached to a guy with some wit, personality and intelligence, who isn't still afraid of his mother at age 40 or more interested in touching a joystick than a woman.

I've found the combination is damn near impossible to obtain, but hey, we all need a dream...

(I work/worked with and have/had several male friends whom I could ask anything and everything- so I have some degree of insight here.)

When They are receiving- they feel like a God! You are (in their eyes anyways) worshipping Them in all their glory of (or often, lack of) manhood.

They think we see it the same way, 'They are worshipping Us.'

Even through their many feeble attempts to get any part of it right.

When it is done right, well... enough said.

When it goes wrong- it is often horribly, horribly wrong and no amount of 'coaching' can fix it. Similar to the cat writhing and horking the furry snack! And yes men, 'coaching'. Since we don't want to damage the overinflated male ego.

Oooh do that again, I like it when you...

Instead of- Stop it, you ignorant fuck!

Many times there are other personality flaws so why we even try to coach them into doing it right is beyond me. All you are doing is making it better, or at least not quite soooo horrible, for the next girl in line. Let her fix it to her liking if she is so inclined to 'keep' him.

For the guys who complain about girls who 'just lay there' and girls who complain about guys who do this or that, keepone thing in mind-

Here's the deal: If I were male and thought about sex every seven seconds, I'd spend so much time figuring out what women like, I'd have a Ph.D. in female psychology. I'd talk to women, take notes and apply my new found knowledge. I'd keep a journal to determine what works and what doesn't.

But do men do this? NOooooOOOOooooo. They just sit around and complain that they can't figure out what women want; it can't be that they are fucking self-centered and not worth our time. What a big bunch of dopes.

This type of crap IS NOT appealing even in the slightest.

Weasel is correct, these guys get all their information about women from porn. And I would guess that there is one woman in one thousand who likes sex like they do in porn.

Arrrrgggghhhh! I need a G&T. I suspected that men thought this way but since I've been married to a non-ape for 22 years, I wasn't sure until now.

cutnjump said: Many times there are other personality flaws so why we even try to coach them into doing it right is beyond me. All you are doing is making it better, or at least not quite soooo horrible, for the next girl in line. Let her fix it to her liking if she is so inclined to 'keep' him.

Oh, oh! Once my mother told me that I should find a young guy and teach him what he needed to know... Being somewhat surly after a bad date, I asked her why? Why should I take that kind of time? When she replied that I'd be doing some woman a big favor (?!?! This is from my mother for christ sake), I said, "No one ever did me any favors."

Please refer back to my previous comment. If men want sex, they should learn how to get it... You know... work at it.

Annie, you're reminding me of a comedy routine one of the redneck comedy guys did. It was either Bill Engval or Jeff Foxworthy, I'm thinking it was Bill.

But anyway, he was talking about how women understand men better than men understand women because women actually work at it, and he pointed out the magazines.

"Look at a woman's magazine...."how to get a good man", "how to get a bad man and turn him into a good man", now look at a men's magazine. A picture. And a bunch of guys going "yup, that's what we're after, one of those".

Maybe he practices with hairy hand puppet ;) Guess it would help with the cleanup...just throw in wash after use!! Damn it I almost fell out of my chair again, I need to get one with a seatbelt after reading this site or people are going to think I'm dating some of these hottie hunks of manhood you seem to find!!

Nosnikta-OMG! I almost snorked a mouthful of Suirt while reading your post.

I haven't had the displeasure of the 'Alphabet Trick' but if its the letters they are after- might I suggest a can of Alphabet soup? Perhaps a box of Alphabits for the more childish/immature of the group. The can of soup you can thow at them and hopefully when it hits them upside the head, it will knock some sense into them. I can hope, right?

From what I have experienced, they know one thing and stick to it like flies on shit, no matter how annoying it actually is...

When they do something right and you make any noise at all- they instantly STOP and go back to the annoying shit. ARGH!

Oh and as for them not even knowing where it is- once they find it they seldom know what to do with it. Still does us no good.

If they start groping around for whatever it might be, they think the are searching for- then they fumble around like a guy wearing workgloves trying to type a text message on a blackberry.

OMG...Nosnikta, fugs, annie and CnJ...thank effen christ I am not alone! CnJ...re the coaching...at times I have actually done the "Stop it, you ignorant fuck!"

You know it's bad when you start comparing their attempts to your most recent gyno check-up.

I have also done internet research, found some interesting things that might..you know fan the flames, then sent an email saying "hey check these out, sounds like fun" (this was before "Stop it, you ignorant fuck!")....and Annie guess what?!...no bloody change, nothing new!! Gah!

OMG-its been along timesince pepsi came out my nose. I stumbled on this site-I'm fifty and can't believe guluckygirl2y;s still do the alphabet shit-imarried a younger guy and thanks to whoever turned hi out cause that boy can rock my world.luckygirl2

Yeah, I'm tardy to the party but I LOVE the blog AND the posters' comments, so I'm catching up. I do have this to add:

1. Men who declare their love of eating pussy? Generally perform their "act of unselfishness" as though they are either chewing a particularly stubborn piece of taffy OR painting a wooden fence with a long-handled brush.

2. In *my* experience, the men who really WERE larger than average joked about their small packages. Guys with smaller and/or defective units eagerly tell you how they will make you scream with their gigantic (imaginary) throbbing cock - they also often brag about their (nonexistent) oral skills/love of eating pussy.

3. The guys who proclaim how good they will make you feel? Are almost always fumble-fisted two pump chumps who couldn't find a clitoris if it had flashing Christmas lights around it.

[color=#ffffff]Awesome post! thank you for sharing this information. whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com really got under my[/color] [url=http://nuscin-online.info]skin,[/url] [color=#ffffff]bookmarked... Keep up the good site...[/color]

Follow WWHM on Twitter!

WWHM on Facebook

About Me

Need A Writer?

Despite producing two low-rent websites of extremely questionable taste, I actually make a living spitting ink for other people. Some of whom even exhibit, like, moral fiber and stuff.If you need an entertaining and/or controversial copywriter, comedy writer, or technical writer with a proven ability to sequester and stun thousands of eyeballs, I'm always interested in hearing about your project.