Embracing Kink

How do you find a partner who's into kinky sex? You may already have the answer!

When I met my partner a little over a year ago I had no idea of the sexual journey I was about to take. One thing I learned very quickly is that we were both open minded and into a lot of kink. It was something we discussed before we actually started an official relationship. For us, sex is an important part of life and we wanted to make sure that our partner was fully aware of our wants and needs.

We were both happy to discover that we both wanted to try pegging. We were so interested and excited over it we actually bought a harness and strap-on before we started our sexual relationship. Yes it was a little crazy to do that in hindsight, but we knew it was something we had to try. For us, pegging was just the beginning of our journey into kink.

We’ve tried quite a few new things including humiliation, restraints, chastity play, prostate massage, foot jobs, and more. We love to explore our own wants and interests together. Some have wondered how we are so open to everything we’ve tried.

For us, it’s been about furthering our relationship through communication and honesty. If you’re going to explore your sexual boundaries, you have to be able to discuss everything you want frankly with your partner. Too often I hear from people who cannot admit their desires to their husband/wife/partner. They think it will turn them off or get an automatic shut-down.

Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of advice to give these people other than to just talk. You can’t force your partner to explore and have an open mind. If they are not into it and not willing to give it a shot then you have a legitimate communication and honesty problem. You have to tell your partner how much you want what you want. Is it really important to you or just a passing interest?

Communication is a two-way street. If you can be honest, you need to listen to your partner be honest with you. If the conversation doesn’t go the way you wanted, be just as open to that as you wanted your partner to be open with you. Remember that you are asking for open mindedness and respect just as your partner is expecting that from you in return.

However these conversations go, hopefully they can end in a caring and loving way. These talks are about a significant part of your life. It’s important you can share yourself in a safe and trusting way. You are just as responsible for this as your partner.

Mastering these talks can open up so many doors for you and your partner. For us, being open minded means being open to something even if it’s not 100% your thing. Recently my partner asked me to spank his balls. I’ve done this before, but this time he wanted it harder and then still harder. Eventually I was spanking so hard my hand was tiring and stinging a little bit, but he loved every moment of it. To me this was a little scary; I’m not used to hurting him for pleasure. But he asked for it and I listened to what he wanted. In the end, he had a great orgasm and I was happy to have helped give him that pleasure.

Whatever your kink is, there’s a chance your partner might be willing to give it a try. If your goal is to please each other and meet each other’s desires, start talking. Start telling your partner how much you want to provide that pleasure to him or her. Talk and listen. Honesty and communication may be the only things standing in your way to some real kinky sex.