Matthew Najmowicz

Screaming, maggot therapy and battling clichés

Someone once convinced me that I was a writer of some ability. Since that day, I have learned a tremendous amount about what it takes to write a concise, intelligent, funny, and sometimes irreverent column. I never thought I had so much to say about anything nor did I think I could ramble on and on about things that people cared little about. Sometimes people really don’t give a damn what I have to say about a topic.

And sometimes a majority of people nod their heads and say, “He’s right on.”

Sometimes writing is just a person screaming at the top of his or her lungs hoping someone will notice them. Once and a while, writing is the maggot therapy that cures an infection in the body. Martin Amis once described writing as the battle against clichés.

I am not totally certain what I believe in my heart writing truly is in respect to my existence. One idea comes to mind — it’s pretty hard. Much like with music, art, singing, acting and other creative ventures — sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. You can work incredibly hard on something and then five minutes later absolutely hate what you said.

Even worse, the more you say, the more you open yourself up to being a hypocrite. Why? Because if you’re an honest person, you come to an understanding that your point of view will change. It’s natural over time to have your mind evolve and converge to a new hypothesis or dogma or idea. Time changes all things, including your thinking. We eventually all grow up to be our own hypocrites — we’re our own worst enemies.

We can’t please everyone. I can’t. However, all I can do is promise my dear reader two things: I want you to laugh and I want you to think.

The only thing I can do is promise to be honest in how I feel at a moment. Even in my comedy pieces, I try to show an integrity when I write. I don’t just say things just to say them. My comedy choices are made to make people laugh, period. My writing doesn’t reinvent the wheel — it shows me treading the wheel of life in my own way.

I am a flawed human being who is trying to forgive and love himself. It’s not easy when you’re not sure what you’ve accomplished in life. However, I am like you. I just want to live my life as honestly as possible.

Perhaps my words will be misunderstood. Perhaps my columns will spark annoyance or even anger. Maybe you smile. Maybe you will write an angry email. I accept all of it without apology. I get to say what I want, you get to react however you want. It’s fair.

If you want to know the real me — keep reading me. If you hate me, I know I’ll have a lifelong fan.

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One of these days we will sip lattes in a trendy latte spot and dust our shoulders off as we count our haters off on our pastry sticky fingers. My fingers will be sticky with cheese danish…fresh raspberry cheese danish.

One of these days we will sip lattes in a trendy latte spot and dust our shoulders off as we count our haters off on our pastry sticky fingers. My fingers will be sticky with cheese danish…fresh raspberry cheese danish.