My Idea for a B&R Fan Cut

Hello, this is Bristonian Cameron Sean Murphy. I am new here on Original Trilogy, and I’m here today to discuss a certain “bat-bomb”.

As you all may know, I am indeed referring to 1997’s Batman & Robin, directed by Joel Schumacher.

B&R followed Batman Forever, which was a film critics were more lenient on. Apparently, the film was a critical failure for a reason.

When Joel Schumacher was in production on Batman Forever, he originally intended it to be a dark and gritty 2hr 40min blockbuster, before the shitpot executives at Warner Bros. decided on a more lighthearted approach. Thus, the film was cut down to a leaner 2hr 1min, with around 38-39 minutes of footage being removed.

Since then, fan editors worldwide have opted to recut BF with the 15 minutes of deleted scenes available on the Special Edition DVD. These included Red Book Edition by scaperat, Dark Knight Edition, Deassified by MalvadoZandin, the idea of a decampified version by greencapt and Elmic-Toboo on DeviantArt, and even The Tim Burton Cut by Christopher Sandobaru.

These caused many critics alike to bash the film…aside from Michael Medveo, who thought it was “consistantly dazzling, ingenious, breathtaking”.

And as for deleted scenes, only one made it onto DVD and Blu-rau, amd it was one where we learn Barbara isn’t really Alfred’s niece. There are indeed others out there, including a line from Batman (“Didn’t your mother ever not to play with guns, Freeze?”), as well as extensions to the fight scenes and additional and alternate dialogue. There’s also a scene where Poison Ivy stabs Julie Madsion to death, which we all assume was cut because Schumacher felt even the idea itself were seriously fucked up.

These deleted scenes and additional shots would’ve at least made the film a little more violent, and probably, a little more interesting.

So you see? It’s not the filmmakers to blame…

…it’s Warner fucking Bros.

So that’s why I’ve started this thread; to share my ideas on how I could improve this critical shitshack of a summer popcorn flick.

I’m going to take a break now, I’m feeling a little worn out. I’ll add more very soon. Promise! 😉

UPDATE (25/9/2017):
Finally, I’m back on this thread to give out my ideas.

To start off, the asinine items (batsuit tits, Alica Silverstone’s Batgirl, etc.) can’t obviously be removed entirely. The best thing we can do about this issue, however, is to tone down their screentime. That’s what greencapt did for De-Assified, so I see no reason why we can’t.

Moving on, if I were to remake greencapt’s De-Assified, I would probably keep the opening suit-up sequence (albeit sans the batarses, battits, and batdicks), and the fight at the museum would work well with greencapt’s edits, only much smoother and tighter, and the scene may have to be rescored.

In fact, many other scenes in the movie will need some music changes. I’m thinking either Danny Elfman or Hans Zimmer.

As per greencapt’s original vision, all bickering between Dick and Bruce is gone, I tells ya! All GONE!

Now this is a bit of a pickle. The cut I’ve seen removes the ‘Alfred is dying’ subplot, and websites claim it also omits the MacGregor’s Syndrome subplot with Freeze’s wife.

Now this is the most simple edit to utilize. Dialogue removal. This includes the excising of many ice-related puns and cringy lines. This effectively tones doen the overall campiness of the villainous Mr. Freeze.

Ivy, as with other B&R edits out there, will remain the same, due to the fact that her entire performance is campy and is actually IMO the most necessary fraction of camp in the entire film.

As for the Batgirl suit-up scene towards the end, I would suggest keeping the zipping-up, then immediately cut to the next shot before we see the butt shot.

During the scene where Dick goes to Ivy’s lair, I would restore the line “rubber lips are immune to your charms,” because it’s one of the lines in the film that actually makes sense.

And finally, even if Freeze no longer helps Batman, it is still heartwarming to hear that his wife is still alive and will be moved to the lab at Arkham so Freeze can continue his research.