babies

I read many articles about early childhood development for my profession. Monday, I was doing my normal perusing through new research and early childhood ed blogs when I stumbled across a statistic that made my heart stop:

The first years of life have a substantial impact on the disproportionate rates of obesity seen later in childhood, especially among racial and ethnic minorities.

Among 2-5 year olds, Hispanic children have rates of obesity five times higher than non-Hispanic white children.

Non-Hispanic Black children have rates three times higher than white children.

The article this statistic came from was about how the first 1,000 days of a child’s life can impact childhood obesity. You can access the full article here. I was astounded by the fact that black children are at such a higher risk of childhood obesity than white children. Once my shock subsided, I right away began to think of how important it is as parents to make sure that we are decreasing their chances of being obese. So here are just a few tips you can begin implementing right now with your children to lead them towards a healthier life from the beginning.

Give your toddler water instead of juice. Yes, we all have sweet decadent memories of the excitement that an ice cold glass of Kool-Aid gave us as children. And yes, I know that your baby would rather drink juice. But the amount of sugar in many of those drinks are giving our babie copious amounts of calories without satiating their hunger or thirst. You may think that natural fruit juice is better, but even those are chock full of sugar. You’d be better giving them an actual apple instead of apple juice. If your toddler says they are thirsty, offer water first.

Stop the “clean your plate” campaign. Woo, I know this suggestion is going to rub a whole bunch of people the wrong way. Many of us grew up in homes where if it was put on your plate, you had to eat it all. So we grow up thinking that we have to do the same thing. We have to stop this mindset. For one, a lot of the time, the serving size we give toddlers is way too much for their little bodies. Also, most doctors will tell you that a baby knows when they are full. Forcing them to eat beyond their fullness teaches them to ignore the satiety signals their bodies give them which turns into a habit of overeating. I know that part of the idea behind cleaning your plate comes from the fear of the child not eating enough. But I’ve heard a quote that changed my perspective, “a child will never starve if the food is available to them”. Basically, as long as food is there and the toddler is hungry, they will eat. No need to force them.

Adopt healthy eating habits yourself. Toddlers want what they see their parents have. Your toddler isn’t going to want to drink water if they see you downing a Pepsi every chance you get. When you snack, switch out that bag of Grippos for hummus and veggies. If you start these habits early, you’re setting them up to have healthy eating habits for life. Then they won’t have to be 30 trying to adjust their taste buds to healthier choices. Trust me, I’m currently learning how to make these changes and it’s hard. But my 1 year old loves foods like kale chips, rice cakes, and brussel sprouts because she’s getting that exposure to them now.

With that being said, don’t give up if they say they don’t like it. Of course they’re not going to like all of these new healthy choices right away. You probably won’t like all of them on first taste. We can’t let that discourage us. It can take a child at least 12 times of being exposed to a new food before they accept it. Stick with it, keep encouraging them to try it and one day they will!

Engage in active play with your child. Turn off the TV, get off the couch, and PLAY. Part of why this generation of children would rather sit around on their devices is because WE sit around on our devices. I know this because I’m guilty of it. It can be hard especially after working a full day to get up and do something active. There are so many benefits for both you and your baby of engaging in active play. Have a dance party, go outside and chase bubbles, or play tag. Just do something to get the both of you moving. Remember, children are looking up to you and want to do what you are. Be that healthy living role model.

The great thing about most of these tips are that they encourage collaboration between you and your child. As you’re teaching them to be healthy, it will also have a reciprocal effect on your own health. Building a healthy lifestyle as a family is a beautiful thing!

Keeping Our Children Healthy! was last modified: April 1st, 2016 by Brimo the Teaching Mama

November 25, 2014, I welcomed into the world my pride and joy. I knew my life would change, but what I was not aware of was how much I would change.

I didn’t notice it right away.

Slowly, I began to notice that something just wasn’t right with me. I didn’t want to be around others;I constantly felt overwhelmed by my circumstances, loneliness smothered me daily, and there were just times that I didn’t feel anything.

But, how could this be? I had my daughter that I was over the moon for and this should be the happiest part of my life right? Why was I not happy?

Postpartum depression is very common. However, as with many other mental health issues, it’s not discussed enough in a healthy context. And in the Black community, it’s even more taboo to talk about. People don’t have a true understanding of what depression is.

What’s worse, are the people closest to you, think they’re helping and being supportive but in actuality say some of the most harmful things to you. You have no idea how hurtful it is to be told, “Happiness is a choice and you’re choosing to be unhappy,” until you’ve been in this space. Also, depression isn’t just sadness. Most of the time, there’s just an emptiness that can’t be explained. You feel as if you’re always being watched and judged. “Am I smiling enough? Do I seem happy? I don’t want to go to this event, but if I don’t, they’re going to think I’m being shifty.” These are the thoughts that plague you on a daily basis when having to interact socially while depressed. You become overwhelmed with how your issues are impacting those around you. Instead of reaching out, you withdraw because you don’t want to feel like a bother to anyone. Or, you felt that if you did reach out, they wouldn’t understand and treat you differently because of your issues.

There were times where I really contemplated death. I never wanted to hurt my child, but life felt so cumbersome and the unknown of my future felt so scary that I just wanted to escape it all. Further reflection, led me to the truth that I am, in my heart of hearts, too much of a punk to actually go through with suicide. My next solution was to run away. When my next paycheck came, I would just pick up my baby and drive my car to some undetermined destination and begin my life anew. The only thing wrong with that plan was that I would be taking my daughter away from her dad. So logically, I planned to just leave on one of the days that she stayed with him.

The only thing that made me decide against all of those options, was thinking about what people would say about me. Think about that for a moment. I did not stay because I wanted to live. Nor did I stay because I felt the will to push on. I stayed because I cared so much about what other people thought of me that I would endure this emptiness to prove that I was strong and a good mother. That was the breaking point for me. When I realized that my love and concern for everyone else around me was stronger than the love of myself, I knew it was time to seek help.

That was 9 months ago. The journey back to me has been an interesting one filled with highs and lows. What I have learned through this is that:

What people think of me is not my problem. Why am I worrying about how others’ perceive me? If I’m not happy at that moment, there is no reason for me to pretend to be. Me pretending to be happy for other people’s satisfaction serves me no purpose at all.

It is okay to not have a good day. Everyday is not going to be filled with hearts and rainbows and that’s OKAY. What’s important is knowing that I can HANDLE a bad day. I used to feel that I couldn’t make it through, but now I’m learning that I can.

Depression does not end in one day, it takes work. It takes getting up when you don’t feel like it and making yourself do the things that you know make you happy. For me, that was getting up in the morning and making myself feel pretty.

I have to make time for me. As a new mom, it’s natural to feel as if you’re somehow neglecting your child if you’re not with them 24/7. But taking the time to do things that remind you of who you were when you were happy makes a huge difference in how you feel. Going to happy hour with friends, buying that cute shirt you saw in the store window, or taking that extra long bath. Do not lose you in becoming a mom.

Owning my problems and facing them is the only way to combat them. Deep reflection and talking with a counselor to truly address the issues in my life that I avoided in the past has helped me love myself, flaws and all.

If you are feeling as if you are experiencing postpartum depression, please do not do what I did. Get help as soon as you realize that you are not feeling right. Do not suffer in silence. It does not serve your child to have a mom who is not the best them that they can be. Nor does it serve you to go through this alone.

An ordinary American family comprised of mom, dad and three super adorable kids.

The Braggwells have set out to vlog their entire 2016, in an effort to remember, celebrate and build upon the memories they’ve already begun creating as a family. As children grow up swiftly before our eyes and work, meetings, chauffeuring the soccer team, meal prepping and all other manner of daily life slide past us in a blur, it’s important to take time out to cherish the memories and bonds we’ve built with the ones that we love.

Check out The Braggwells’ daily adventures, ups and downs and new discoveries here at MMR! or on their youtube channel: The Braggwells

What Family Looks Like was last modified: February 29th, 2016 by m. lauren

A friend asked me, “How do you deal with family members not sticking to your parenting rules when babysitting?” This is a common issue. You know how it is as a new parent. You read every damn book and article there is about parenting because you’re so afraid of messing up and raising a Dylan Roof. So you have all these rules and guidelines that you go by that of COURSE your older more experienced family members disagree with. It happened to me just this past August. We’re at our family reunion and I happened to look up to see my grandmother and her first cousins giving my 8 month old daughter water. I immediately freaked out being that I had just read articles about a family going to jail because they had been giving their infant water and all the harm that water can do to babies under 1 year old. I rushed over and told them that they had to stop. Of course this turned into a conversation of how new moms don’t listen to experience. In this case they were right.

As I read a little more, I came to understand that a little water doesn’t hurt, that child passed away because that’s all the parents were giving them. The question then becomes how do you navigate between what you read and what the people you know have done this before are telling you? What I’ve come to understand is this:

The research isn’t the Gospel. You will drive yourself crazy trying to stick to and maintain all those “Do’s and Don’ts.”

The older generation has a lot of wisdom that we shouldn’t write off just because it isn’t in a scholarly journal.

Grandparents, aunts, and uncles are going to do what they want. They’re going to give a lick of sucker when you’re not looking or allow them to watch more television than you would care for them to. Every instance is not a time to panic. You have to choose which battles to fight. Was it a serious rule that they broke or can you be flexible and let it slide?

At the same time, if you have chosen to stick to something, those who encounter take care of your child should respect your wishes.

With that being said, if there are egregious instances where they are totally going against your wishes, SPEAK UP. It is YOUR child who is ultimately YOUR responsibility. Anyone that can’t understand that and do what you ask probably should not be caring for your child. Be respectful but stand your ground.

Look, at the end of the day (I hate that phrase but it always fits so well), we’re all just making this shit up as we go along. No one thing works for all children. Each child is different, even within the same family. Do what works for you and your family whether it’s conventional knowledge or research based. Just make sure that those involved in the rearing of your child are on board with your parenting style and remember don’t sweat the small stuff. By child number two, they’re going to be eating broccoli off the restaurant floor and you won’t even bat an eyelash anyway.

Give that Baby a Little Water :: Parenting was last modified: March 11th, 2016 by Brimo the Teaching Mama