ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
-"Justin Bieber was seen leaving a brothel in Brazil and then again in Panama. And today, he's introducing his new line of penicillin."
-"Vladimir Putin was named Forbes' Most Powerful Person In The World. He was also named the People's Most Sexiest Dictator Alive." Hey, let's take a look at a montage of the shirtless dictator. Or was that Matthew McConaughey.

50,000 runners participated in the New York City Marathon on Sunday. We take a look at the athletes who took home the top prize in their divisions.
ART CARD: NEW YORK CITY MARATHON WINNERS
ANNOUNCE: "Winner of the Men's Open Division: Geoffrey Mutai of Kenya." (we see)
"Winner of the Women's Open Division: Priscah Jeptoo of Kenya." (we see)
"Winner of the Mixed Singles Division: Ethan Morrison and Mary Lewis of Long Island." (we see the two in one pair of pants. Oh, man, if I only knew there was a division for that!)
ANNOUNCE: "Congratulations, runners."
ART CARD: NEW YORK CITY MARATHON WINNERS

If you forgot to turn your clocks back this weekend, you were probably watching the first five minutes of Ferguson right about here. We thought we'd take a look back at that extra hour.
ART CARD: "AN EXTRA HOUR: A LOOK BACK."
We see a clock on the wall. It moves from 1:07 AM and dissolves eventually to 1:57 AM.
ART CARD: "AN EXTRA HOUR: A LOOK BACK."

Unfortunately, you will never get back the 30 seconds you spent watching that last "joke".

Whoa! You didn't think you were going to get away without the guy pounding on his metal pan, did you? We watch. And then Dave asks for an accompaniment from Paul as they play together, the Anvil Chorus.

ACT 2:
We have a lot of marathon runners in our audience tonight. Unfortunately, tonight's taping may be more taxing on the human body than the 26.2 miles. Dave congratulates all those who participated and to all who made the race a safe and successful monumental event.

Boy, oh, boy. Every day it's something new about the Obamacare, and none of it is ever any good. Dave admits to knowing very little about Obamacare, or health care in general. This is all he knows about health care.
1. Get in your car.
2. Drive to Canada
3. Buy cheap medicine there. It seems to be working for the Mayor of Toronto.
4. Come home.

Washington is looking for help in getting the message out about the benefits to Obamacare and has turned to Hollywood. That's always a good idea. What can go wrong? Dave doesn't usually go in for this kind of thing but when the President or the First Lady asks you a favor and it's for the good of the country, how can you say no? Dave agreed to participate in the following PSA for Obamacare. We watch. It's testimonials on how Obamacare has helped.
ANNOUNCE: "Welcome to the ‘West Wing Week,' your guide to everything that's happening at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. This week, the President spoke about the affordable care act and the positive impact it's already having on many Americans. We caught up with some new Obamacare enrollees to see what they think."
GUY: "Since joining the exchange, my premiums have gone down almost 30%."
WOMAN: "My new policy is so much more inclusive than the one I had before. I'm very pleased."
DAVE: "Obamacare really helped me. Parts of my skin were covered in pus-laden chankers. And then the itching began. . . ." An audio guy enters and removes Dave's microphone, but he continues. " . . . . everybody tried to tell me it was bedsores, but I knew it was an affliction worse than bed sores."

TOP TEN: COVETED PIECES OF CELEBRITY MEMORABILIA – Oprah had a yard sale this weekend and took in over $600,000. She probably made it on old beer signs. You ever see how much people charge for a Schaefer beer lamp?
COVETED PIECES OF CELEBRITY MEMORABILIA
9. Sammy David Jr.'s non-glass eye.
8. Zsa Zsa Gabor's spare Zsa.
3. Madonna's iconic cone-shaped motor oil funnel
1. A check actually picked up by Regis Philbin.

AC T 3:
WOODY HARRELSON
Woody is looking strong and in good shape. What's his secret? Does he have an intensive training regimen? Woody credits his healthy physique to the Tibetan Five. It's a routine where he practices 5 movements first thing in the morning and repeats it 21 times each. The first step is spinning around clockwise . . . 21 times. I think that explains a lot about Woody. And then there's some leg lifts and dips in the chair and on and on. Whatever it is, it seems to be working.
Actors attack roles in different ways. Woody has tried the method acting at times where he lives the part from sun up to sun down. You stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling. In the film "Indecent Proposal" with Robert Redford and Demi Moore, Woody had a scene where he was supposed to be really drunk and smashed. So he showed up drunk and smashed. Unfortunately, this made him feel very self-conscious and against everything he knows about the key to acting being totally relaxed. He got through it and when you watch "Indecent Proposal" again, look for the drunken Woody. He ain't really acting in that scene. He's drunk and smashed.
Woody is the dad to 3 girls, with the two oldest at the dating age. It must be a bit daunting for a kid to knock on the door for a date and to meet Woody. Yes, Woody admits to letting the younger courters feel afraid but says he has a lot of confidence and trust in his daughters' character and maturity.

Woody's new film, "Out Of The Furnace" opens December 6th. Hey! I just read in the notes that Woody plays the leader of a ruthless backwoods crime ring in the New Jersey Ramapo Mountains, Harlan DeGroat. I know that family name, and the Ramapo mountains were right in my backyard growing up. I went to Ramapo High School in New York. I'll have to go see it when it comes out. Sounds like the perfect Christmas holiday movie!

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Swing by tomorrow to catch Dave with Kathy Griffin, author and illustrator Brian McCall, J. Cole, and a special Top Ten List with House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi. Visit cbs.com/lateshow to watch The Wanted Live on Letterman. The Wanted's exclusive online concert from the Ed Sullivan Theater can be streamed on demand. Snacks not provided."

ACT 6:
DAVID ORTIZ
From the Boston Red Sox, David Ortiz is the Most Valuable Player in this year's World Series. The season started for the Red Sox way back during in April very close to the time of the bombing at the Boston Marathon. It's been a rallying point the entire year for the team and the city. It's been a tremendous story of "Boston Strong" and it was very hard for even Yankee fans to find fault with the hated BoSox this year. And it was a great comeback for a team that was in last place last year. Much of the blame was placed on chicken, beer, and Bobby Valentine. Some Red Sox were reportedly beering it up and chomping on chicken in the clubhouse while the games were still going on back in 2011. They team made a big change for 2012, but it only made things worse when they brought in the inventor of baseball and the wrap sandwich, Bobby Valentine, to manage. It was all very entertaining here in New York. But like the '67 Sox, the Red Sox went from "worst to first" but this time finished the deal with a World Series championship.
Dave pulls up the impressive World Series trophy and puts it on the desk. I got to handle it backstage and was surprised at how heavy and sturdy it was. It looks a bit fragile, but it's not. It's Boston Strong.

ACT 7:
THE WANTED
From their brand new album, "Word of Mouth," the band from the British Isles performed "We Own The Night."
I don't know . . . do you really want to own the night? It sounds like something cool, but who wants the responsibility?

And that was our show for Monday, November 4, 2013.

It makes me smile a bit thinking of young Boston Red Sox fans who believe winning the World Series is to be expected.

If the New York Jets defeating the New Orleans Saints doesn't cure you of your gambling addiction, nothing will.

I'm going to spend the rest of this week to find out why George Steinbrenner and the Yankees didn't sign the left-handed power hitting free agent David Ortiz back in 2002. Without Ortiz, the Red Sox probably still wouldn't have won a World Series since the 19-teens, and the Yankees a few more. How did we miss out on him? He's a lefty power hitter!

The 2013 New York City Marathon:
-The 43rd running of the NYC marathon
-50,000 participants
-2.5 million lined the course through the 5 boroughs
-The first NYC marathon was in 1970 and the course was several times around Central Park.
-127 runners in that first marathon; 55 finished; watched by about 100 people.
I guess you could say the New York City Marathon has shown nice growth.

MY NYC MARATHON STORY: I never ran one, but I did work it as a cop a few times.
I was a cop working crowd control along 1st Avenue in the East '80s of Manhattan. This is about the 17 mile mark of the run. It's an exciting part of the race because the runners have just left Queens, run over the 59th Street Bridge, and are welcomed by the huge Manhattan crowd down First Avenue. The runners stay on 1st Avenue from 59th up to about 123rd Street, spend a little time in the Bronx, and then return into Manhattan. Anyway, a woman on 1st Avenue around 83rd Street needs to cross First Avenue to get to the vet with her dog. She was on the east side of First and needed to get to the west side of First. She pointed to the building she had to get to. I told her it was impossible. At this time of the race, there were just way too many runners coming down 1st Avenue for her to cross. If she wanted to get across the street, she had to go down to 57th Street, just south of the marathon course, cross First Avenue, and then walk back up to E83rd. She was livid. She wanted me to escort her across. I laughed and told her "not a chance." If you've ever seen how crowded it gets on First Avenue, you know I'm telling the truth. She kept at me and kept at me, demanding I do something to help her cross. I again told her she had to go below 57th Street to cross the Avenue. I could understand her anger but there was nothing I could do. I then decided to take a walk half way up the block. I knew she was going to chance it and try to cross the Avenue and I didn't want to be there when she did. But I definitely didn't want to miss her trying to cross, either. So I walked up the street with a paper in my hand to make it look like I had something to do for the race. Sure enough, a minute later she made a go for it. It was hilarious. "Frogger" at its best. She was clutching her little dog to her chest all the while dodging thousands of weary, exhausted, hallucinating runners. She made it no more than 15 feet across the street before she got spun around and knocked to the ground. I immediately started writing something on my piece of paper to make it look like I was busy with something. She got back up, got knocked down, then crawled to where she started. She crawled under the barrier and was gone. I put the piece of paper away for later use and moseyed on back to my post. Everyone was laughing, telling me it was a shame I missed it.

And that‘s my New York City marathon story.

And since I'm telling stories, he's My Iranian Hostage Story, repeated here most every November 4th. On November 4, 1979, some cranky Iranians decided to blame those in the United States Embassy for their lot in life

I'm in college, SUNY at Cortland, in the autumn of '79. (yes, I'm that old) I'm walking to class and am stopped by a roving newspaper reporter for the local Cortland Standard. I'm asked,
"What is your reaction to the American hostages being held in Iran?"
ME: "There's Americans being held hostage?"
REPORTER: "Yes, since last week."
ME: "Wow! Where are they being held again?"

I had no idea. Hey, I was in college. What did I know? The only thing I learned in college was how to handle record albums. Since that morning, I read and learned as much as I could about the hostage crisis. I would not let that embarrassing moment happen again. I spent the next three weeks looking for that reporter to give him my answer.

And that's my Iranian Hostage story.

Time now for This Date in CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History.
November 04, 1999: Pepsi46
This concludes another installment of This Date in CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READERThe 1975 Ramapo High School Football team. On November 1st, 1975, we had our first game of the year.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER