Danelle's site is especially a worthwhile resource b/c it provides cited medical research combined with the experience and insight of real mothers. Take this tantrum article for example...if you are a mama to young children and want to read just one link in this post, make it this one:

I know spanking debates tend to focus on only psychology, but as a scientist, I get frustrated by this. Biology is a huge aspect overlooked in parenting debates. The reality is, the way we treat our children has an actual biological impact on their developing brains and bodies. Hitting another person increases various stress chemicals such as cortisol. It alters the neural activity in the brain and affects the way the brain grows from that point onwards.

We can also look at physical realities to help us understand our children at various stages so we can parent effectively.

For example, many people believe that if they slap, pinch, tap or spank a young child (e.g. 3 and under) this will successfully stop bad behavior. But the part of the brain responsible for impulse control is JUST beginning to develop around 3 years, and won't really get into growing until closer to 4-5 years.

In other words, even if your child understands you and WANTS to obey you, the part of their brain that controls impulse cannot comply.

This can help us be more understanding and empathetic, so as not to frustrate them or make them feel attacked. Imagine how you would feel if someone constantly asked you to stand up out of your wheelchair and you couldn't. Then you got yelled at or tapped or spanked. It's defeating and creates a hostile relationship.

It can also help us to be more effective in our parenting. If we understand that a child is not physically ready to do certain things, we don't waste time demanding it. So for example, if a 2 year old does not have the brain connections required to stand politely by your leg and not run into the street, then you know to hold his hand at all times or use a leash, a stroller or a baby carrier. (Yes, many carriers go up to 45lbs or more and are comfortable for toddler carrying. Check out the Ergo, Beco, Pikkolo, etc). Knowing the physical capabilities of you child keeps your child safer, too.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Full moon? Too much fun yesterday? Cosmic forces? Whatever the reason, my kids stayed up late then woke up as the sun was rising. Well, to be accurate, my toddler woke up shouting, "I WANT A BANANA" which then woke up the baby, who still looks very confused and disoriented from the experience.

They wouldn't be comforted. Wouldn't go back to sleep. And the worst part? WE ARE OUT OF BANANAS! Daddy's car is in the shop and he took the van. In an attempt to turn a despairing moment into a laughing moment, please enjoy a pictorial story of our morning using animal photos: