Soooooooooooooooo....oh, what? Yep, time to write trash about the hash. Trash about the hash. Heh. That should be a song. *sings* Trash about the hash, it's time for trash about the hash. It'll be quite the...the...the...bash! Trash!

Where am I? J.D. McGigglys. McGargles. McGillicuddy's! In Manayunk. No, Havertown. Wayne? Definitely Upper Darby. No way we'd be in Roxborough. But where are we going? I heard that Emo Kid forgot the flour, so he don't have no power. Flour power! Oh well. Hey, there's Just Christian (who certainly looks NOTHING like Hairy Springer to the point where an On-Sec might write that name down instead), who, like me, is passing the time with a...delicious? crabby pretzel that tastes like it was made an hour ago and left under a heat lamp that the staff forgot to turn on. Mmmmmm. Thankfully, Under the Gaydar is here to pass the time by serenading us against our will with the "Banana Boat Song." Day-O! Day-ay-ay-O! Oh, thank Gispert, it's time for chalk talk!

​Whuuu? Post Traumatic Goose Disorder and Fort DixALot are leading us in a song? At chalk talk? Nice. It sounds so damn familiar...

[to the tune of Afroman's "Because I Got High"

Goose:I was gonna write a speechBut then I got high.Was gonna explain these marks and teachBut then I got highI don't know what that cross means and I know why

DixALot: Why, man?

Goose:Because I got highbecause I got highbecause I got high

I was gonna lay a trailBut then I got highI hope I don't end up in jailBecause I'm highNow I'm paranoid and I know why

DixALot: Why, man?

Goose:Because I got high because I got high because I got high

Dix will explain these marks, because I'm highI hope none of you are narcsBecause I'm high

Hahahahaha. Good shit, man. Good shit. We even get a new hash mark tonight, the peace sign, which means individual group hugs....yep, makes perfect sense. "Don't be smelly!" Where's Mi D? warns us (whatevr the fuck that means) and with that, we're On-Out!

"R U?" *crickets* "R U?!" *winds whistles* "ARE FUCKING U?" *tumbleweeds roll by* I think evryone forgot how R U? works but how? It's not like we've inhaled somet....ohhhhh. Thankfully, DixALot is there to re-edumucate us at the next check only for us to immediately forget about it again. Eh, well, fuck it, On-On! Speaking of checks, DixALot​, can you lead us in an ill-conceived, on-the-spot rendition of "I Love Weed" to the tune of "I Love Booze" with shitty, nonsensical lyrics? Thanks!

Holy shit, fuck these Manayunk and Roxborough hills. Fuck them so hard. How is it that Pantyphile has the energy to hurdle gravestones like he's back on the Track and Field team? Why is Ass To Mouth scouting ahead of a song check before we all get there? Spoiler alert much, AtM?

Oh, thank Gispert, a Beer Check! Deep into the Wissahickon woods we pass to drink some beers and smoke some...ummmm....weed. First up, some spiked "Gatorade" which Pantyphile suspects is "old hot tub water" and (in hindsight some 2 1/2 months later) this On-Sec wonders if it wasn't in fact just old bong water. The blue one sure as shit tasted like it, hence the Pack jostling for the orange one (Pantyphile: "Orange you glad it's not the blue drink again?")

Smash cut to Circle because I wrote fuck-all from Beer Check to On-In and barely anything after that. Fort DixALot was sure to congratulate all "two and a half hares" that laid trail and followed that nice burn by asking, "What'd we all think of Circle tonight?" Oh boy, did we let him know. Pantyphile lamented the lack of J checks (get it?) while our transplants, Under the Gaydar and Ass to Mouth, serenaded and dazzled us with a full-on ballroom dance recital of "Be Our Guest," hashy style, of course.

Baaa! Ram Him,your On-Sec, was chided for knowing that 4/20 is also the anniversary of the Columbine Massacre and Hitler's birthday because half-minds ain't supposed to know shit. Finally, the 4/20 hash went in peace in the most wonderful way possible: with free pizza, fries, and Coors Light beer.