Retro Round-up for August 7

Every week Cyril Lachel comes down from his giant castle in the hills to provide the final word on all of the classic downloadable games and retro compilations. This is the Retro Round-Up, your official guide to the best (and worst) in classic gaming for the Nintendo Virtual Console, Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network. Join us as we shed some light on what games are worth your five or ten dollars, and what games you should avoid at all costs. For more information about these games (and retro gaming in general) we invite you to check out Defunct Games.

Apparently Nintendo decided to take the last two weeks off. For some inexplicable reason, Nintendo denied Virtual Console fans for 14 agonizing days. And when they finally returned to the normal schedule, they gave us the arcade version of Tecmo Bowl. In this slightly truncated episode we look at Tecmo Bowl and a couple of WiiWare releases. See if these games are worth your time when you tune into this week's Retro Round-Up!
Tecmo Bowl (Arcade/$6)What Is It?
Warning: This week's Virtual Console release may have a familiar name, but this is not the game millions of old school gamers know and love. Even though it's called Tecmo Bowl, this fast-paced football game is not the same as the classic Nintendo Entertainment System game. Instead this is the arcade version, which pales in comparison to its console counterpart. This means that you won't get all of the different modes from the NES game, the various teams, the much, much more. Generally I'm all for these arcade-style sports games, I'm usually the one complaining about how football games have become too complicated. But there's something about this arcade ports style that I don't like. The moves are limited and the gameplay is a mess. With the NES game already on the Virtual Console (for a buck cheaper, no less), it's hard to recommend this arcade game.
Does It Hold Up?
I'm a big fan of the simplistic gameplay, but don't care for the sluggish control and limited amount of options. It's a shame, had I never played the NES game I wouldn't be so picky. The truth is, while this game feels outdated by today's standards, there's still a lot of fun packaged into this arcade game. The lack of modes and options make sense given the arcade roots. But we're not in the arcades, and that's why I simply cannot recommend this version of the NES game.

Is It Worth The Money?
Nintendo takes two weeks off from posting Virtual Console games and THIS is what we get? When I first saw the announcement I was happy, since I love Tecmo Bowl. But then I remembered that Nintendo has already uploaded the NES game, so why should I even bother with this inferior (and more expensive) arcade release? I suppose one could argue that fans of the series will have a fun time comparing the two, but I'm not that hardcore about this kind of thing. As it is, you should probably just keep your NES version of Tecmo Bowl and ignore this disappointing release.

WiiWare Limerick Theater
Every week Nintendo announces their new Virtual Console offerings. But what you may not know is that they also announce the newest games for the Wii's specialized WiiWare channel. This is the place where you can download cheap smaller games, the type of titles you would only pay a few dollars for. Thus far we haven't spent much time covering these hidden gems, but today that's going to end. Starting today we're going to cover the WiiWare line-up just as we would any other section. To keep things consistent, we have decided to post all WiiiWare reviews in the form of a limerick. This week we take a look at two completely different games, Studio Zan's Outbreak and Sexy Poker from Gameloft.

Overturn (Studio Zan/$8)
I would have played this game with a Wii Balance Board, but that's more than my budget will afford. Instead I played with a pad, which is kind of sad, because I couldn't shake the feeling of being bored.

Sexy Poker (Gameloft/$5)
I once played this game called Sexy Poker, unfortunately it was with a real joker. He made fun of my life and my innocent wife, and that's when he said: "Poker? I barely know her!"

* The product in this article was sent to us by the developer/company for review.

About Author

It's questionable how accurate this is, but this is all that's known about Cyril Lachel: A struggling writer by trade, Cyril has been living off a diet of bad games, and a highly suspect amount of propaganda. Highly cynical, Cyril has taken to question what companies say and do, falling ever further into a form of delusional madness. With the help of quality games, and some greener pastures on the horizon, this back-to-basics newsman has returned to provide news so early in the morning that only insomniacs are awake.View Profile