Natural gas. You think it's so clean? Think again, fucker! God, I've been waiting to say that to those natural gas bastards for so long.

A new study says that judges are more likely to issue lenient rulings if you catch them right after lunch. So, everyone on trial, just demand that the judge issue his ruling after lunch, because you're allowed to demand to have a judge do things at whatever specific time you feel like. (Note to self: check this.)

While your doctor is telling you to do one thing, meanwhile, when it comes to his own personal treatment, he's probably doing something totally different. That's why experts always say, "Do the opposite of what a doctor says," as they lay on their deathbeds.

On top of all the new viruses out there, we also have to worry about old viruses, just hanging around and still trying to jump in and cause disease whenever they get a chance. Get a life, old viruses, jeez.