Let me introduce The Oregonian

The Portland Oregonian and I have a long history. Portland, Oregon, was my first real “big city living” experience and The Portland Oregonian – more commonly and hereinafter “The Oregonian” or even more often, “The Oregano” – was the newspaper of record for Portland Big City Living. The Oregano was everything you’d expect in a Pacific Northwest main stream media paper – there were no new laws or taxes that the editorial board didn’t love, and every opportunity was taken to piddle on Liberty’s leg.

But what of this history, you ask? Glad you reminded me.

There are two letters I’ve gotten in life that I wish I’d kept. The first was while stationed at Ft. Leavenworth, and was a recruiting letter from 1st SFOD-D. The spec ops guys had been “looking at my file” and thought that I might be suited for their organization. I was leaving military service at the time, in a huff, but sometimes wonder what might have been different if I’d accepted the invitation and made it through the process. The second letter was a choice bit of snark from The Oregano, complaining that I had somehow managed, in my second year of law school, to get 14 or so letters to the editor published despite their strict limit of one letter per person per quarter. The tone was very aggrieved and whiny, as though it were my fault that they only had one source for a libertarian point of view. All but one of the letters involved The Oregano’s predictably left-wing stance on gun control (i.e. “there can never be enough”).

I have since moved on from Big City Life, but still read The Oregano for giggles. And there is no greater giggle to be had than finding yet another eyes-wide-shut sample of Leftist – and I use the word loosely – “thinking.” The Right is by no means immune to the disease, by the way (just how “conservative” is an illegal war of choice, anyway?), but the Left can be particularly egregious in its stupidheadedness.

Here’s the current bit of fun:

Okay. I made that title up. What the headline actually says, for those who haven’t clicked yet, is, “In Portland’s heart, 2010 Census shows diversity dwindling.” But when it comes to The Oregano’s use of “diversity,” well, let me cite to Inigo Montoya:

And for the youtube-impaired: Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

The Oregano will assure its readers, between the lines, of course, that diversity is a Good Thing. That diversity is essential, and that only low-browed knuckledraggers are opposed to the love of diversity.

Oh really?

Mr. Webster – or one of his ilk – defines “diversity” as

di·ver·si·ty/diˈvərsitē/Noun
1. The state of being diverse; variety.
2. A range of different things.

And yet just what sort of diversity lack is The Oregano complaining about? Only color. Well, with a side order of poverty, since it’s the “affluent” who are driving out the people of color (quick aside – why is the phrase “colored people” offensive, but “people of color” is a required descriptor? Just askin’). In other words, The Oregano is fixated on race. I don’t know that you can get any more racist than that.

If The Oregano were truly about diversity, it’d be advocating for ensuring proper numbers of sex offenders, pedophiles, robbers, killers … oh, let me turn the listing process over to another attorney: “Rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, Mugs, Pugs, Thugs, Nitwits, Half-wits, Dimwits, Vipers, Snipers, Con men, Indian Agents, Mexican Bandits. Muggers, Buggerers, Bushwhackers, Bulldykes, Hornswagglers, Train Robbers, Ass-Kickers, Shit-Kickers……and Methodists.” were located in and amongst the Affluent But Unenlightened Masses of Portland, setting an example by making sure that the aforementioned were in their own neighborhoods. In fact, if The Oregano really believed in diversity it would make sure that its own hiring reflected Oregon’s diversity and would include all of the above – and low-brow knuckle draggers – in its own staff.

Of course, The Oregano would never actually do such a thing. The Oregano is the arbiter of what is right for others, and it is a “teller,” not a leader. It is a hypocritical scold, a “do as I say, not as I do” termagant of the worst stripe. And as such it is a perfect fit for Modern America and its hordes of similarly-attituded minions all of whom know better than we do what is good for us and will, if necessary, kill us* to make us better.

*stolen, I believe, from P.J. O’Rourke: if you don’t do as told, you’re arrested and jailed. If you resist arrest or attempt to leave jail, you can be shot and killed, with your shooter only rarely suffering consequences.

Disclaimer

My blog posts and comments are nothing more than the ramblings of just another guy, ya know? They are only personal opinions, observations, and discussion - I specifically do NOT give legal advice to the public, in general, in public and NOTHING said herein should be construed as legal advice to you. Consult your own darned attorney before doing anything that could result in criminal or civil liability to you. Or consult him in general just before breakfast - he'll have less work then and will be thankful for the extra billables.

*if I am, then you already know how to get ahold of me, and it's not in a public forum.