So I was reading stuff from an aggregate I like to visit and I came across one of those insane people of Facebook things. Heh, it’s horrific. Really, mostly the posters and the societal nightmare they bring to the table. But, more on that later, for now, the post; and I’ll just paraphrase, but I’ll link it.

Somewhere on Facebook a poster posited a sublime tale of the nature of us, and it went something like; I am a total and complete fucking moron.

Now hold on, he’s (and you know it’s a fella) probably the nicest guy in the world, he’s just fighting to be ignorant. Stupid, even, for the fighting. When you read what he has written you’ll likely feel for him, as I did for a second. Man, that was a long second…Then you may laugh, or judge, or put your smug face on, or call him names and whatnot. And that’s cool. You go. Or not, you know, just don’t.

You may even want to chime in, for whatever reason. I’m not going to, because the arena, I just wanted to have a quick say about it to that one reader accidentally stumbling by – Hey, what’s up?

Since Facebook poster has an unreasonably ignorant notion of basic physics, I really feel compelled to fill him in a little with the stuff I learned in, what, maybe 5th grade.

That tech they launched Voyager II with back in 1977 was light years behind the ridiculous requirements and limitations of some of the shit you think is so high-tech today, or 20 years ago. It was designed when people took their shit seriously to do whatever each part was designed to do – and to function with the whole. Heh, like GNU/Linux and whatnot…anyway, it was designed to operate without the limitations of the atmosphere we have on Earth. Because it wasn’t flying
DUDE! It’s fucking different. We have air and shit. AS a result, we also have friction, and there’s beaucoup gravity, and….

Listen.

Jackass. And I say this with love:

Earth has air. Space doesn’t.

Listen.

Air. Better: At-mos-phere. Say it one time, aloud: AT-MOS-PHERE. Maybe AT-mos-phere, or, at-MOS-phere. I dunno, mess around with it for a while. Get comfortable with it.

It’s all you gotta know, really. Read a book one time and make it basic Physics. Really, because your mind is a terrible thing to waste and that is what you seem to be doing.

Really. Listen.

Air.

You know how sometimes in the Summer the air is thick – all that humidity? We call it stupidity around here, heh. You feel that, though, don’t you? What about when it’s easier to breathe in some places and harder in others? And at elevations. What about your ears popping? Has that EVER happened to you?

Don’t lie.

Dude: air. I’m trying to keep it simple. You know? ELI5.

You know how you can’t just lift off and fly? Well, besides not being built for it. Ahem! OK, you know how you go faster down hill than you do going up hill? Shit, you don’t even have to pedal! Well, props to gravity here, but: Why is your hair messy? What’s loud in your ears?

There’s so much more just because of the different things we deal with on Earth that are not a problem in space.

Listen – no air in space. Vacuum. It’s wicked. Guess what else? NO FRICTION!!

Know what friction is? You drive a car? Wait – rub your hands together rapidly. Warm, huh? You know, if there were no friction you wouldn’t even feel your hands touching, let alone the heat. Well, maybe you’d feel your hands touching but it would be easier to slide them against each other because on Earth friction slows them down.

Friction happens everywhere. Slide your foot straight out in front of you across the floor. Don’t lift it up. On ice it’s easier.

In space it’s even easier.

Listen.

Because no friction. And you know what, gravity to worry about around large bodies (planets and whatnot) and not just flying around out in space. WOOHOO!! I can DUNK!

So a little ship launched a zillion years ago when we were all monkey-stupid (I am sorry, monkeys. Thank you for understanding) and cell-phones weren’t invented (well, not your smartphone) and blah, blah, blah….

Yes. A little ship was launched decades ago that has been flying around out there and doesn’t have much in the way of stopping it. No atmosphere to impede it and ultimately destroy it, no friction to retard it, or halt it, no gravity to pull it.

Recap, because repetition is fun!

On Earth: atmosphere, friction, gravity; whatnot. Everything on Earth has to deal with these forces.
In Space: no atmosphere, friction or gravity (something, something disclaimer). An object in motion gets to stay in motion. WOOHOO!