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Im pretty sure so doms are the kind who are more gifted in dealing with people, though frankly sometimes an so dom individual may annoy me because they play over diplomatic with awful people, the fact still remains that they are typically the ones who are either universally liked, or at least seen with a benevolent neutrality i.e. harmless.

I have found being an sx/so and knowing other sx/so types we generally have some kind of charisma in some groups, but are more likely to incur hate, disgust or annoyance as well as love.

I think so last are simply the least visible. I guess it has its perks.

Im pretty sure so doms are the kind who are more gifted in dealing with people, though frankly sometimes an so dom individual may annoy me because they play over diplomatic with awful people, the fact still remains that they are typically the ones who are either universally liked, or at least seen with a benevolent neutrality i.e. harmless.

I have found being an sx/so and knowing other sx/so types we generally have some kind of charisma in some groups, but are more likely to incur hate, disgust or annoyance as well as love.

I think so last are simply the least visible. I guess it has its perks.

I think these are all good solid points.

And visibility... I don't know if I can speak for everyone, but for me it's one of the pains of so-dom that I almost always feel visible... not as in "out there" or "loud" visible, but as in I can't hide from the world even if I try because everything is so interconnected.

frankly sometimes an so dom individual may annoy me because they play over diplomatic with awful people

Yeah, totally. I do this. I guess in my head it's like, maybe if I try to be diplomatic, I can win them over to the light side - a "catch more flies with honey" type of thinking. Like earlier today this girl was going off about smokers in my university Facebook group - does she think that anyone is going to stop smoking because they read the nasty things she was saying about them in a public group? It's kind of in delicate balance with Fi in my head, because I do understand that sometimes you just have to come out and say something. I think that was part of why I felt sx/so at first, because I'd hit that Fi tipping point and would just let it go. But in more recent years I've striven to make the things I come out and say more palatable so that they might have a chance of actually changing something.

People have told me I'm crazy for trying to be nice to certain people... but sometimes, in the very best of circumstances, it turns out that you hear sides of someone's story that they haven't felt comfortable talking about with anyone because they're repressing, and by getting them to open up, you can help them heal and get to a better place.

Though sometimes it plays out that I get screwed. But, I feel like if and when I do get screwed after having tried hard to be diplomatic, I am fairly justified in telling them off, and you should see people's faces when the "nice girl" tells them what's been coming.

Yeah I change myself to fit my environment as well. However, as a sx/so I change just enough to not be seen as WAY TOO different from everyone else. I am not as concerned with fitting in as the social doms often are.

Being social dom just means you are aware of how much something does or does not fit in. It doesn't mean you are concerned with fitting in. Someone that keeps running afoul of social rules on accident and doesn't understand why or how not to could have a weak social instinct.

Being social dom just means you are aware of how much something does or does not fit in. It doesn't mean you are concerned with fitting in. Someone that keeps running afoul of social rules on accident and doesn't understand why or how not to could have a weak social instinct.

That's not what I keep hearing from the social doms that I have seen on this forum, they all tend to say that "fitting in" is a big part of the social instinct.

Im pretty sure so doms are the kind who are more gifted in dealing with people, though frankly sometimes an so dom individual may annoy me because they play over diplomatic with awful people, the fact still remains that they are typically the ones who are either universally liked, or at least seen with a benevolent neutrality i.e. harmless.

I have found being an sx/so and knowing other sx/so types we generally have some kind of charisma in some groups, but are more likely to incur hate, disgust or annoyance as well as love.

I think so last are simply the least visible. I guess it has its perks.

Hoo boy, am I guilty of the bolded or what?

Great post. The only thing I'd argue with is that to a social-dom (from my experience, which is heavily SJ biased), no one is invisible. I've found that social-lasts are very likely to mistakenly see themselves as invisible, and thus act like they are. Which annoys the shit out of me sometimes.

EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

Great post. The only thing I'd argue with is that to a social-dom (from my experience, which is heavily SJ biased), no one is invisible. I've found that social-lasts are very likely to mistakenly see themselves as invisible, and thus act like they are. Which annoys the shit out of me sometimes.