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[ ADVICE ] Pleasing Yourself

FIRST OF ALL ... Nope, this isn't what you think.

I came across a thought of how suddenly I have less actual friends
that I actually have, saw a friend broke her own promise, …and so many people
around me is suffering inside, they caused themselves the pain.

First question is “why do you want to be in that position?”

Second question is, “can’t you change that?”

Third and final question, “isn’t life too short to be
unhappy? #YOLO”

Just FYI … While I was doing this material, Connor Franta (on O2L channel) uploaded something similar that I want to stress out, to be happy. (LINK HERE!)

Here’s a little advice from me…

and I have been using this
thingy-majigy in my life here and there. I think it’s working just fine.

#1 : Have ambitions or goals

Some people are “goal oriented”
or “dream chaser” (yes, I totally made the words up) … but having a goal is
something that you can look up to whenever things get tough. I usually think
about how I can live abroad while pursuing my master degree, when I feel no
desire to study or doing my assignments. I usually push myself beyond my limit
to take everything aside and make sure that I don’t get distracted from the
goal I’m pursuing. You need to have your “happy place to be” and you will thank
yourself, NOT ME, in the future when you already reach the top of the mountain.

#2 : Release the peer pressure –
s/o – BFF – friends – even family

I get how teenagers, even people
that are old enough can not decide what’s best for them and I get how people
who’s in the inner-most circle of yours can really determine how your life is
“suppose to” run. It’s just a matter of maturity. But I can guarantee that you
will not be happy about the decisions made. If you love / respect / afraid of,
to the person who can affect your decisions enough, you will let them make the
moves in your life, regardless. I hate to be the messenger, but you are the
most important person of your life. No matter if you’re single, married,
committed, or just a free bird, … the best decision-maker is YOU, and only you.
My mom taught me this saying way before I could make decisions for myself,
“never go on a pressure from your friends, because they won’t be able to help
you in case something had gone wrong.” I couldn’t thank my mom enough for this.
It helped me in so many ways that I can be proud of my own decisions, though
sometimes I failed at things. I came to a conclusion, based on the saying, that
being independent-decision maker is one of the main things that you need to
survive life. Not that you don’t need other people’s perspective, you can do
that and take as many opinions as you like into consideration but you don’t
need people to be the decision maker.

#3 : Research for a perfect “role
model”

For me, a role model is a
checkpoint. Someone who you can look up to, you adore, and “worship”. Having a
role model doesn’t mean that you copy everything, because your one role model
can be a mess at some point. They are human too and making mistakes is the
thing that every human need to do in order to be human. It doesn’t have to be
one person. I have so many traits from so many people to look up to. This is
why you need as many as possible to be a better person. Weird, huh? But that’s
life. Having a role model is just a reminder that you strive for the success;
just like theirs on the minimal because positive thinking will set and keep your
mind focused.

#4 : Stripping down the bad
influence(s) in your life

This might be controversial
because the bad influence in your life might not be aware that they actually
dragging you down and they might defend their place in your life but again,
it’s up to you to take the best interest of yourself. How do you know if someone
is the bad influence in your life? It’ll be when you feel that everything goes
wrong in their eyes, no matter what you’re doing. When a friend constantly
mocking, being sarcastic, or just plain insulting you, even when you are
enjoying what you’re doing. For example, I have this one friend that
questioning why I always dress so nicely and always having makeup on … I simply
just ignore it. Because, ... I am so sorry if you feel the need to dress less
than a 9. I’m sorry that you don’t want to – at least – look presentable and
decent to be looked at. The first time I was being in this position, I
over-analyzed things and felt the need to take it down a notch. Do you know
what I feel like after I took it down a notch? Yes, unhappy because I don’t
feel like myself. At that moment I realized that bad people in your life would
get you stuck, even worse you’ll doubt yourself – oh, worst case scenario you'll
feel like you are the most unhappy person on earth. Anybody wants that? ... I
definitely don’t.

#5 : Surround yourself with
good people

Good people are the people that
willing to have your back and keep you on track. For example, you need to
hangout with the people that have a same goal(s) to achieve, they might have so
many different perspective than you and that is the only thing you need because
you need to try as many perspective as you can. In order to be successful, you
need to try as many railways as possible. Agree? I’m sure you are. But what if
you don't have them? Keep in mind that you still have yourself to begin with – your
family is a good start because I believe that your family, parents especially,
will support you if you explain yourself good enough. Though they will have a
“better path” for you to march along, but they will come around and eventually support
you to be happy in whatever you're doing. No good parents want to see their child
be miserable. And by far, I can assure you that if you do something that you’re
unhappy about, the “final product” of your work will be crappy. Let’s say you
are pursuing an education in economy because your parents said so, your grade
won’t excel your friend's grade because his/her dream is to be an accountant
– different approach in studying, of course … different goals to achieve, yes.
– And the last thing to keep in mind is that being a mediocre will only get you
through and you’ll be the average guy everyone seems to ignore. So on your
behalf, I’m telling you… don’t mediocre yourself.

#6: Keep doing whatever you're
doing

You need to keep yourself happy, keep on working things out, sort out things in your life, don't forget to learn from winnings also failures ... and that will push you far enough to reach
your dreams.

###

That is all I can come up with and decided to make a long
post, rather than a video as I mentioned in my last post because this material
really took a long time to write and I keep forgetting to film.

What do you think about this little “life advice” thing? What
do you do to sort out things in order to be happy? You can share things here,
because sharing is caring!!

Comments

I love this post! ;A; Thank you so much for sharing these tips. I definitely agree with all of them~ I think finding a role model would be a good thing to do and I'm going to try looking for one ^ ^ --Kiyomi xxkokorosasa.blogspot.com