Who here has ever dreamt of climbing onto a broomstick to fly around throwing balls into hoops? Well I don’t actually care because regardless of your answer, that’s
exactly what I’ve been doing this week. That is the fangirl beauty of the Qudditch World Cup.

After months of ignoring my PS2, I decided to fire it up to blast (get it? Fire, blast… screw you, I’m hilarious in my own mind.) my way through this kooky game to celebrate the end of the Harry Potter franchise (“troll poop! They’re going to milk it for years to come!” I hear you cry… I know, trust me.) The plot is simple. It’s just Qudditch; Google is your best friend if you’ve been living under a rock. So while you’re existing beneath that state of the art pile of crystals and clever stuff that makes up rocks, with your posh electricity and computer and internet connection, you’ll realise that there’s no point to this tangent and I’ll just get straight back to the subject at hand…

You’re the Chaser, pressing simple button commands to pass, shoot and tackle in order to score with the Quaffle as well as guiding Bludgers into the other team until the Snitch counter fills up, then you chase that son of a Boggart (boy, Wood has a difficult job explaining these things…). It’s easy while you’re at Hogwarts, but when you climb onto that Nimbus 2000 at the world cup, spells gets real.

Let’s bear in mind that this is 2003 so the graphics are fairly… okay, let’s face it, they’re a pile of house elf droppings and aren’t worth mentioning, you’re badly rendered piles of polygons that just remotely resemble Daniel Radcliffe from the movies. Urgh.

And the music. This would be a completely pointless topic because there’s nothing notable about it at all, I ended up putting Justin Bieber on my radio to create my own soundtrack. I mean… oh nargles…
Oh, and the voice acting was worse and more embarrassing than listening to your
dad singing karaoke at Christmas. Apart from good old Wood.

Excellent job Warner Bros., you screwed up another fangirl’s dream…

I wonder where my broomstick will take me next..?
Sian Bradley, Quidditch World Champion over and out.
P.S. sorry about all the Harry Potter creatures/words, I was trying not to burst into a fit of swearing.

Share this post

Sian is a co-founder of Cubed Gamers, having been around since 2011. When she isn't helping to manage the site, she's exploring every nook and cranny in games to create guides you didn't know you needed.