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Female infidelity and 50 Shades of Grey

At COSMOPOLITAN DETECTIVES Ltd, we have noticed a slight increase in the number of female infidelity cases following the much-awaited release of the movie 50 Shades of Grey.

Whether or not they read the trilogy written by British author Erika Mitchell, with the titles 50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed, many women have watched the movie.

Just by peeking into any cinema that screened this movie, it was plain to see that the great majority of the spectators were not men, but rather women, in groups, aged 20 to 50 years.

Why do women go in groups to watch 50 Shades of Grey? How is it that men do not follow suit?

This article does not aim to generalise the behaviour of women with regards to infidelity, but rather to emphasise the change in trends that we have observed in our investigations in female unfaithfulness.

It goes without saying that this genre generates much more curiosity in women due to its high erotic content. It has become synonymous with the ideas of letting go, letting your imagination run wild, being able to recreate your identity and unleashing secret sexual fantasies that have long been silenced and restrained…

In the eyes of a man, the domination and power displayed by the male protagonist is used to turn into a game in which he himself takes part; a game based on sexual pleasure and, in most cases, free of emotional attachment. For a woman, on the other hand, she goes beyond the mere games bound by the contract and delves into the world of fantasy and mystery where everything is possible, even love.

Now, we cannot forget the frigid manner in which Mr. Grey presents his female candidate, Anastasia, with his sex proposal via a detailed contract where all the erotic games and objects to be used are thoroughly explained in each clause of said contract. By Anastasia’s attempt to change one of the clauses which she deems too inappropriate and degrading for her, the internal struggle is evident as she struggles to preserve her dignity and accept only so many of Mr. Grey’s propositions. It is perhaps her way, subliminally, of getting him to change and maybe even fall in love with her, thereby turning it more into something closer to love and desire rather than the mere sex act and games proposed by Mr. Grey.

Through this movie, a more uninhibited type of female sexuality has been revealed. Perhaps by delving into the world of 50 Shades of Grey where the line between fantasy and reality is blurred, many women have come to long for a sex life that is just not run-of-the-mill but rather allows them to dare to express their most hidden desires…

When couples have been together for a long time, sometimes the erotic games and passion that once were there in the beginning can fade away, leading to boring sex lives where the couple ends up repeating the same patterns and moves. It is almost safe to say that 50 Shades of Grey has sparked awareness of this passion that has been stifled by the “routine moves” even though this concept may all just be in the mind of a woman. This movie may have even broken new ground and made it possible for women to bring their fantasies and imagination to life.

Are women exploring a new world of eroticism to which they have easy access, where taboos and conventional moral restrictions do not exist?

In our Western society, women are free, luckily, to think and act as they see fit which undoubtedly means that they have full control of their intimate life that now has a wider range of possibilities…

Therefore, on one hand, 50 Shades of Grey has helped to awaken female sexuality, but on the other, it has also lead to a small increase in the number of female infidelity cases.

Before the release of the movie, many women could have probably easily been able to have sexual encounters with someone other than their partner, but they would have never considered it. This is simply because women are less inclined to cheat than their male counterparts. Men are more impulsive whereas women think more and prefer relationships.

However, could it be that something is changing in the way women behave towards infidelity? Will women end up turning the tables on men?

In the movie, even though the roles of dominant/submissive are clearly defined, if there is anyone who really changes the way of thinking of the other person and becomes emotionally attached and more sentimental, it is Mr. Grey, not Anastasia. In so doing, the plan backfires on Mr. Grey who ends up succumbing to the same thing that he wished to avoid in all his “sessions” and encounters with Anastasia.

Women are now able to live more liberally and this also means spicing up their sex lives, something which has long been considered the male’s territory.

Most women have been taken aback by one thing: many of their female counterparts have suggested that they would like to find themselves in a situation similar to Anastasia’s; that is willingly giving themselves over to Mr. Grey’s games of seduction, attraction and domination.

At COSMOPOLITAN DETECTIVES Ltd, we have noticed a rise in cases of unfaithful women who wish to take control of their own sexuality and enjoy the sleek and sophisticated erotic game presented in the movie. Cheating used to be a behaviour almost totally exclusive to men. However, based on what our detectives have realised through their direct contact with the world of female infidelity, women are also now following suit and may even be more skilful at avoiding being caught by their partner.

In the movie, the two main characters end up falling under the other’s spell. Anastasia becomes a bit more flippant and Mr. Grey, more sentimental. It is that moment when the woman feels so empty, unsatisfied with her sex life, neglected or suffering from unrequited love that pushes her to feel the need for new expectations and emotions in her sex life with someone other than her partner.

Let us remember that with women, unlike men, it is more natural for them to feel empathy, chemistry or that “special feeling” for someone they have just met, then fit them into their imaginary world and thus create a new love story.

Apart from having the sexual upper hand and doing as they please to feel wanted and desired, women are now using their power, whether or not they knew they had it, in a more uninhibited way that seems more akin to the patterns of men. This means taboos are a thing of the past and fantasies can be unleashed.

Why do women cheat? The general consensus is that, as the years go by in a relationship, only a few men are able to maintain the level of interest and thoughtfulness that they used to show their partner in the initial phases of courtship.

Additionally, some men spend a great deal of time, sometimes even days, away from home generally because for work purposes. This, coupled with a lack of attention from their partner, makes women consider looking for attention elsewhere or even pushes them to make the move to begin the search whereby it is she who chooses the level of commitment and involvement. Sentences such as “I feel lonely”, “he doesn’t take care of me enough” or, as Russian supermodel Irina Shayk said recently, “I felt ugly and insecure,” can possibly be the beginning of a case of female infidelity.

50 Shades of Grey, as a movie, can also be interpreted as a fairytale; a fantasy that reflects a change in the perception that women have of relationships: more feminist and in sync with our times. This is similar to the recently released movie Cinderella, from director Kenneth Branagh, where there is also a Prince Charming and another protagonist, Cinderella. However, in this adaptation, she is more modern and contemporary that in previous ones. Therefore, the cinema provides women with various models of female behaviour which may confuse them with reality, where the woman has more of a starring role in terms of control over her own life and sexuality. So, who do you like more, Anastasia or Cinderella? Maybe a bit of both or neither. It is you who decides how you want to live your life and your relationships…

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