Author. Walker. Badass.

Susan G Komen

I promised you I would continue my 3 Day adventure so hold on cuz this is action packed!! Ever been volunteered to do something without your knowledge? Yup…this happened to me, Bestie and BFFE at the 3 Day. Our lovely Captain heard that there was a need for crew members to help lead the walkers in the Cupid Shuffle at the Opening Ceremonies and since she knew we knew how to do it (remember the video from last year?), she volunteered us. Needless to say, we were terrified but being good sports, we agreed. At Opening Ceremonies, we were asked to meet behind the stage at a certain time. We had no idea we would be going UP ON STAGE in front of over 900 walkers, crew and family members to lead The Cupid Shuffle as a warm up for those walking. We managed to drag another crew member with us and she really had no idea what she had gotten into either since she didn’t know the dance. But, all 4 of us, managed to get up there with smiles on our faces and enthusiastically lead all those people to shake their booties. I mean, we all know I can shake my booty. The Food Crew really are pros at this dance and Saturday night we did it in camp for everyone to see….I know there is another video somewhere of us doing it. In case you have no idea what I am talking about, here is the official video of The Cupid Shuffle….so get up off your couches and shake your booties with The Fat Girl!

During one of our dinner shifts, BFFE and I were busy Whoop Whooping it up and one of the chefs decided to get revenge on us. Frank (as we mistakenly called him most of the weekend but is NOT his real name) is from Australia and loved to give us a hard time the last couple of years. It was great because he could dish it out as well as BFFE and I could and jokingly put up with our obnoxiousness. So he comes up and sees that the Tempe police, that are helping keep us safe, were getting in our food line. He then yells to them “Officer! Officer! Can you take these two obnoxious loud mouths out of here please and put them in jail?” We immediately started ribbing him loudly and laughing. Before we knew it, the po-po had come over and slapped his handcuffs on me and BFFE, cuffing us together!! Yup….that happened. Ever try to serve food when you are cuffed to another person? It is not easy I must admit. I usually use handcuffs in other ways but those are fluffy and don’t require a key….too much information? I have never laughed so hard as when Frank came back and saw us cuffed together for his benefit! What a great sport both Frank and the po-po were to do that to us. Of course, Frank still asked the po-po jokingly to still take us away…maybe we could have served up some food to prison bitches.

Love how we caught the po-po in the pic….so worth it. And what is that expression on my face?

I have to confess that sometimes we were delirious from lack of sleep and that made us quite slap happy in our down time between breakfast and dinner service. It led to crazy photos in the photo booth (see below) and also led to an incident with our sack lunch on Saturday. Four of us had decided we would grab our sack lunches and head back to the hotel for what we hoped was giggle-free (not so much) sleep. We went over to where they had brought the sandwiches and such and proceeded to put our sammies, chips and cookies in our sacks and head back to the room. Bestie ran down to the front desk to ask for an extra blanket since she is not a penguin like me and BFFE and the rest of us (we had brought back M with us) sat down on the bed to eat our ham and cheese sammies. M took one bite and immediately complained that is was super dry and there was no mayo or mustard on the sammies. BFFE and I immediately looked into our bags to see if some had magically appeared in our bags since we hadn’t seen any in the food line. This led to a tirade for about 5-10 minutes on how dry and gross the sammies were…mind you we were eating them the entire time. Bestie came in and BFFE warned her about the sammies. Bestie frowns, opens her sack and throws both mayo and mustard and napkins (also another contention with us that those were not provided) at all of us. Shocked and surprised looks crossed our faces as we all clamored to know where she got them. Bestie, looking confused, said “Uh…at the condiment station we have set up with every meal.” DOH! Laughter immediately ensued as we told her how we had complained for what seemed like hours about the food. Delirium does funny things to people.

Delirious Food Service crewBad asses kicking cancer’s butt

All in all, this was one of the BEST experiences I have had at the 3 Day because I was surrounded by friends I consider my 3 Day family. There are reasons I come back every year and am still considering being a part of the 3 Day next year but in a different way (can you say Walker Stalker?) and my kooky 3 Day family is only part of it. I do this to support the walker on chemo making her journey with her friends walking behind her carrying the official flag that said “Myself” for her reason. We cheered her on and all hugged her as she sobbed her way across the finish line. I continue to do this for my Captain, a 12 year survivor herself, who didn’t think her sister would make it another year with her stage 4 cancer. For our other survivor, G, for flying out here every year to spend her weekend with a kooky bunch of weirdos because her BFF asked her too. And because I KNOW I made a difference in people’s lives that weekend. How do I know that? As the crew walked out to Closing Ceremonies through a funnel of walkers, the walkers were all high-fiving every crew member and saying thank you. We were starting to high-five everyone when all of a sudden, I heard the walkers start to Whoop Whoop when they saw me and BFFE. Tears immediately started to flow as I realized that they were giving us back the love we gave to them every meal service and acknowledging our energy. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. THAT is why I do this. To make a difference. To add to someone’s life. And I gained the most beautiful group of friends out of it…. thank you Food Services Crew for accepting my weirdness and being weird with me. I am ever so grateful to Bestie for talking me into walking in 2010 and crewing for the last 3 years. Best. Experience. Ever. Whoop Whoop!

The team that started it all…Celtic Cancer Kickers. Thanks Bestie for introducing me to the wonders of the 3 Day

Oh yeah…I didn’t die today. I did discover the power of a simple Whoop Whoop but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl crying tears of joy as I make a difference Running. The experiment continues….

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Yup…you read that right. So much happened this past weekend that I have decided to write it in 2 parts so enjoy the love. I spent this last weekend doing something I love and have spent the last 4 years doing every November…The Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk for the Cure. I walked 60 miles the first year and the last 3 years, I have spent on the crew. This year it was bittersweet since it is the last one to be in Arizona due to some restructuring issues the corporation is going through. Even knowing this, most of our crew came back from last year and again our mighty Captain led the way and slapped us into shape to be the loudest, most obnoxious food services crew I am sure the 3 Day walkers have ever seen.

2013 Food Services Crew…the craziest group of weirdos I have ever met

One of the things I love about the 3 Day is that I have made life-long friends and actually met my BFFE there last year. The hours for Food Services are long. We are up at 3:30 am to serve breakfast to the crew and we finish dinner at 9 pm. And it is actually 4 days for the crew because we have an all crew meeting on Thursday afternoon that we are required to attend. Needless to say, I drove down on Thursday and met up with Bestie and we headed over to the meeting. Bestie, BFFE and I had actually gotten a hotel room for the weekend that was near where the camp was gonna be so we headed over there after dinner. We had a couple of extra people due to one of our crew and her 10-year-old daughter who was doing Youth Corp needing a place for the night before camping for the weekend. After stuffing our gobs with giant rice krispie treats with caramel and frozen cheesecake, we went back to the hotel and we all started to get ready for bed. All four of us girls were in various stages of undress (most of us in our undies) when the 10-year-old walked around the corner. The look of shock (maybe some disgust as well) and embarrassment on her face as we were all standing around talking in our undies and she could see various bits and pieces was hysterical and we all burst into giggles as she quickly retreated to the other side of the wall. Pretty sure she might need some therapy after that. I mean who needs to see bits and pieces at her age? Sorry M for the need for therapy for your daughter….

There are certain things that you should always disclose when you are sharing a hotel room or bed with someone. I, for one, always make sure everyone knows that I snore. Yup. Snore. Since there were 3 of us in the king bed that night, I told BFFE and M that I snore (Bestie already was aware) and apologized for it. We lay there in the bed, whispering and giggling like schoolgirls for a while. M and her daughter actually were fighting loudly over the covers and who was gonna have them and BFFE and I could not stop laughing. After a bit and everyone had fallen asleep, I heard a new sound…a light snore was coming from Bestie on the other side of the bed. Then M started mumbling in her sleep. An even newer sound soon joined the cacophony that was occurring in our room and at first I could not place it. It was a squeaking type of sound and at first I thought I was imaging it because I thought I was the only one awake at that point (damn insomnia). The noise got increasingly louder until I realized that Bestie was grinding her teeth in her sleep. Holy Hannah it was loud. All of a sudden, BFFE says to me “What the hell is that?” and I about jumped out of my skin because I thought I was the only one awake. A small scream of terror and a little bit of pee escaped me. We started giggling and then we could not stop. Pretty sure I might have snorted as well. In the midst of our high school laughter fit, M starts talking in her sleep loudly and her daughter mumbled something in return. We start laughing even harder. I almost wet the bed. Moral of the story: If you do something like snore, talk in your sleep or grind your teeth and are sharing a hotel room with friends…warn them! I am pretty sure I would have come prepared with ear plugs. Oh…and I won’t even get started on the gassy issues everyone seemed to have….

BFFE and me at 4 am…can I get a Whoop Whoop?

Since we serve food so early in the morning, we were determined to be alive awake and enthusiastic. Not the easiest thing in the world to do at 4 am. BFFE and I managed to be serving hot food on the food line complete with dance music blaring from my phone to wake everyone up. Somehow, we decided when someone said they wanted a little bit of everything on the hot line, we would call it a “special” and give them a big “WHOOP WHOOP” with BFFE saying “I loves me a special” SUPER loud. Now imagine this at 4 am after walking 20 plus miles the day before and sleeping in a tent all night and getting ready to walk 20 more miles…yup…totally obnoxious. And all this without coffee. The WHOOP WHOOP could be heard I am sure for miles around at that time of morning. BFFE and I actually Whoop Whooped so much that we were hoarse by the end of the weekend. We actually had walkers doing it to us when they walked up to the line by the last morning. I am sure you could not find a more cheerful crew at all times of the day since I am sure it was from delirium and lack of sleep. The catering company we worked with told us we were obnoxious and they loved it. One of them, the Aussie, even got their revenge on BFFE and me…but I shall save that story for next time. I would hate to overload you with our obnoxiousness…

Stay tuned…more on me dancing the Cupid Shuffle in front of over 700 people, Aussie style revenge, photo booth pictures, and even more Whoop Whoops to come….plus the reasons why I do this every year.

Oh yeah…I didn’t die today. I did become obnoxious and loud at 4 am and learned some habits my crew has when sleeping but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl with a WHOOP WHOOP running. The experiment continues…

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I had every intention of writing a totally new post about breast cancer this week since I am off to go crew for the AZ Susan G. Komen 3 Day like I do every November. But, time got away from me as usual. Or rather, I got sucked into reading the Divergent series by Veronica Roth…if you have not read these books then do so…NOW. They surpassed my love for The Hunger Games which says a lot if you know me. So, like a true book nerd, everything got put on hold this week while I read. My Facebook status even said “Don’t bother me. I’m reading.” and I meant it. There is my excuse…I was reading. Such a nerd. Even nerdier was that I got a package from my Seester this week with signed books in it and I squeed like a fan girl in my kitchen. Best box ever. Yup…total nerd.

If you want to donate, I am still taking donations. You just have to go to my 3 Day donation page and make one!! I am as of right now only $624 away from my goal of raising $2000. Help a Fat Girl out would ya….even $5 will help. Look at me beg…at least I am not standing on the corner holding a sign. Wait…that wasn’t me you saw standing on the corner without a sign for other reasons….damn. I promise a new exploit when I return…

Oh yeah…I didn’t die today. I procrastinated by reading like a total book nerd but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl getting ready to crew for the 3 Day this weekend Running…the experiment continues.

Again this year, I participated in one of the funnest weekends of the year with my Bestie….the Arizona Susan G Komen 3 Day Walk For The Cure. Now, I didn’t walk it like I did 2 years ago but I participated on one of the best crews there is…Food Services. Now I know you are thinking how can Food Services be fun? Hello! Fat Girl here! And what does a Fat Girl know about the best…FOOD! And as long as I can eat some of the food then I can serve the food…pretty sure I am awesome at it. I mean who better to serve you food than a girl who loves to eat food? It is like a job made in heaven for a Fat Girl. This was my 2nd year being a part of the 3 Day crew and I love doing it. Ok the hours SUCK for Food Services, but we make up for it. Pretty sure dragging my fat flass up at 0330 was NOT my idea of a good time. Have I mentioned that I am not a morning person? Not one iota of me likes to get up early, hence why I work nights. In fact, I highly do NOT recommend ever waking me up early in the morning unless you want a version of a snarling cat on your hands. But it was totally worth it to work with the wonderful group of ladies and 2 guys I worked with this year and to serve all those walkers who raised over 2 million dollars to fight breast cancer.

The 2012 AZ 3 Day Food Services Crew…we are awesomely weird!

Seriously, this year our crew was a total blast and they didn’t mind my weirdness. You have to be weird to get up at 0330 and serve breakfast and not be a snarling cat. Plus what is better when you have to serve food at that ungodly hour than to be dancing around and singing? Yup…dancing most certainly occur. Especially at the end of the day when they are playing party music…the Fat Girl got her dance on. Although one of my crew did say I should be working a pole….pretty sure no one wants to see my naked fat wrapping itself around any kind of pole. Plus, have you seen those outfits strippers have to wear? The thong alone would get lost in the folds I am for certain….we all know how I feel about thong underwear. Can’t you just see me trying to take it off and it flies across the room and lands in someone’s Bacardi and Coke? Ew. Excuse me Sir…that is not a garnish to your drink so can I please have my chonies back? And then let’s discuss a stripper’s bra shall we….what is the point? I mean it is not meant to cover anything up and is not meant to support you at all. And then why wear those pasties over your nipples? I mean…we all know that your nipples are under there. Is there something wrong with your nipples that you feel that you must cover them up? Are they misshapen? Do they point in different directions and the pasties help keep them under control? Are they 2 different colors? Do you feel like maybe you aren’t naked if your nipples are covered? Does it make you feel like you have some sort of clothes on if your nipples are covered but your cookah is hanging out for the world to see? Pretty sure even though I like to walk around my house nude, that no body needs to see the Fat Girl naked. I don’t even like to see me naked…just saying.

Thank goodness the food service crew didn’t dress like strippers! We would have froze our nipples off at 0330! As it was,we danced and made our own fun serving food. And wouldn’t you know it…my Bestie caught the dancing on video! Yup. Proof that I can at least do the Cupid Shuffle now is out there…don’t judge. Thank goodness she didn’t catch what were apparently my stripper moves…

I must say I made some AMAZING friends who now better hope they don’t mind me writing about them (insert evil laugh here) because I am sure there will be more antics as I made fast friends with several of the gals (especially you S!)…and even found out via Facebook after the 3 day that I am related to one of them! How weird is that? Pretty sure one of the crew is married to my cousin….Crew: I will let you figure out who!! These gals met me just after I buried Billy so it was wonderful that I could get such support from total strangers who didn’t mind if I was crying, laughing, dancing or just being weird me. It was just what I needed to heal my soul. And thanks gals for letting me cry when I needed it and for not minding my random dancing. My weirdness was celebrated and found other weird souls to commune with…if you have never volunteered for a 3 day, I highly encourage you to do so…you will NEVER regret it. Oh and girls…this is our new song to dance to:

Oh yeah… I didn’t die today. I did however make some new friends and got my Fat Girl dance on volunteering for a great cause. I am fat girl practicing my stripper moves for next year running. The experiment continues….