WTF Of The Day: Amanda Bynes Says A Cop “Slapped Her Vagina”

AMANDA BYNES, WHERE DOES IT END? Your saga is crazy! And it just doesn’t end. Now Miss Bynes is accusing an officer of “slapping” her vagina. Let’s review: Drake murders Amanda Bynes’ vagina — okay. Cop slaps Amanda Bynes’ vagina — not okay. Here is her tweet on the whole thing (via TMZ):

Don’t believe the reports about me being arrested. It’s all lies. I was sexually harassed by one of the cops the night before last which is who then arrested me. He lied and said I threw a bong out the window when I opened the window for fresh air. Hilarious. He slapped my vagina. Sexual harassment.Big deal. I then called the cops on him. He handcuffed me, which I resisted, quite unlike any of the reports stated. Then I was sent to a mental hospital. Offensive. I kept asking for my lawyer but they wouldn’t let me. The cops were creepy. The cop sexually harassed me, they found no pot on me or bong outside my window. That’s why the judge let me go. Don’t believe any reports.

Shit. Well apparently Bynes’ attorney is taking this seriously and is looking to file a complaint for “inappropriate actions”.

Where the f-ck do I even begin? I’m not saying she wasn’t sexually harassed. What I’m questioning is her explanation for throwing her bong out the window, which is: 1. I was getting fresh air and 2. There was no bong. Come on, Amanda. Although, why did the judge let her go without bail? Any legal peeps want to explain?

Also TMZ says she was spotted wig shopping, but the paparazzi attention was too much so she fled.

Sexual harassment is certainly real, but does it really happen like this? It’s difficult to imagine. I don’t think any person guilty of sexual harassment has ever taken that approach. It seems like it would be a very awkward motion to even attempt. There is an early episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and George are trying to think of a name for an nonexistent friend they are visiting in some lady’s office building. On his first attempt, George only manages “Burt Harbinson,” which Jerry rightly rejects for sounding obviously fictional. Amanda has managed to concoct the “Burt Harbinson” of sexual-harassment scenarios. However, t is possible that the cop could see she was wasted and patted her down to see if she had drugs on her. I once worked at a jail, and well, they are required to search everywhere, sometimes a lot more thoroughly than that.

Per her twitter rant, she says that none of it was true. She WAS released without bail. She WAS taken in for psych evaluation and doctor’s didn’t find sufficient reason to put her on a 5150. Per TMZ, she has always been lucid in court and that’s why CA never tried the 5150 route (she has never been assumed to be so mentally ill that she didn’t understand the proceedings). TMZ actually went so far as to call her “sharp” in court, so she obviously isn’t totally crazy. I think she is acting out for attention, but is obviously abusing some substances that make her behave like a crazier person than she really is.

Okay, you might not be ready to say it didn’t happen, but I am. This is obvious bullshit. If she really has never smoked pot before, let’s do a hair sample.

She’s obviously psychologically disturbed. I know most people here are too young to remember this (me included) but didn’t Marlo Thomas or someone go batshit crazy in the 70′s and end up rolling around someone’s front yard? It’s only a matter of time with this nutjob.

Isn’t it odd, though, how lucid she seems in the above tweet and during her appearance in court? Yes, the tweet is probably completely bs, but no rambling in the presentation, very concise and to the point. Hmm.

She was arrested at night and was not released until just after her hearing, which was in the morning. That was enough time for her to sober up some, but clearly there are other problems at work here. Would you wear a wig like that?