Only Fools and Horses – They think its all over – part 1

ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

(A Script by Pete Rigby)Synopsis: It’s 1986. Pre-Raquel and pre-Cassandra. Del now has a legitimate stall in the market selling all goods for £1. It’s called ‘In For a Penny’. Rodney, Denzil and Trigger (on leave from the council) also work on the stall but it doesn’t make much money so they are forced to take on other work, as usual!

“They think it’s all Over part 1”

Dels In for a penny stall

Scene 1
EXT. BOYCIE’S CAR SHOWROOM. EVENING

Del pulls into the forecourt of Boycie’s Car Showroom. The van is back-firing, as usual. Boycie approaches Del. Del gets out of the van.

DEL: Alright Boycie?

BOYCIE: I will be tomorrow Del-Boy when Marlene and I will be lying on a sun lounger in Cuba. While you’re drinking Mike’s watered-down lager I will be sipping Pina Colada’s at a beach-bar. Anyway, what can I do for you?

DEL: It’s the van.

BOYCIE: What? Do you want me to scrap it for you Del?

DEL: You cheeky git. No Boycie, I want you to get one of your boys to take a look at it for me.

BOYCIE: I’ll have it ready for you when I get back from my holiday in 2 weeks.

DEL: 2 weeks!!

BOYCIE: That’s right. So what are you gonna use for a van in the meantime Del?

Del looks over at a white van parked in Boycie’s forecourt.

DEL: I was thinking of that.

Del points at the van.

BOYCIE: Nice choice Del. BMW. 12 careful owners. It’s only been round the clock once and it’s only been in 2 accidents. I’ll let you have it for 10 grand.

DEL: I don’t wanna buy it, I wanna borrow it.

BOYCIE: You mean rent it?

DEL: That’s right. I wanna rent it…………for free.

BOYCIE: Oh no Del-Boy. I couldn’t possibly.

DEL: Look, you’re going away for 2 weeks. Now I know you. You won’t let anyone run your little empire while you’re away. So this place will be shut down for 2 weeks. If you let me borrow it, I’ll make sure it’s kept safe. What do you think, eh? Everyone’s a winner.

BOYCIE: Okay Del. If you don’t bring it back in one piece, you owe me 10 grand, okay?

DEL: Scouts honour.

BOYCIE: And a full tank of petrol.

DEL: Of course. What do you take me for?

BOYCIE: I’ll get you the keys.

Del rubs his hands.

Scene 2
EXT. STREET. NIGHT

Del is driving home. He passes the local warehouse and notices the back door is open. He pulls over and investigates. He pops his head in the opened door to find 4 security guards tied up. They don’t see Del. Del panics and heads back to the van. On the floor, outside the warehouse, he spots a box. He quickly picks it up and throws it into the back of the van and drives off.

Scene 3
EXT. STALL. MORNING.

Del, Denzil and Trigger are stood behind the stall in the market. A man approaches. He places a saucepan on the stall and a one pence piece.

Yes, this was originally an original script called ‘In For a Penny’ about 4 guys who worked in a pound shop. It was very closely linked to the OFAH characters. I got through the first few hurdles with the BBC then they turned me down. That’s when I adapted it to fit an OFAH script.