Sometimes Life Intrudes

There are times when my scene life seems so utterly surreal especially when real life rears its head to remind me that it’s there. It’s times like that when I don’t know what I’m supposed to do because I literally feel torn about my responsibilities versus my needs. The thing is that when serious stuff happens in life, I don’t want it to intrude on my life in the scene. Is that wrong?

I lived a long time pushing my darker desires ever deeper under the surface. After I came out and started exploring my kinkiness, I never again wanted it to be shoved down again. It was no longer secondary to other things in my life, it was part of my life. I can no more deny this relatively new found facet of myself any more than I can excise any part of me that makes me the person I am.

The only thing I have to come to grips with is the feeling that I’m being utterly selfish during the serious times especially when I desire to continue exploring my kink.

3 Responses to “Sometimes Life Intrudes”

You are not being selfish Rad. For you – the kink is a release and an outward expression of who you are. I don’t participate in the local spanking scene – other than my videos – but having someone to participate in that with is so important. There is room for both…and the situation will dictate where each piece of your life fits at that moment. Hope all is well!

Rad, you are very very “AUTHENTIC” as a PERSON. You seem to know how to incorporate the parts of your life into all of who you ARE and..no matter what intrudes on your life, you shouldnt have to dissect or excise anything..any part of what makes you a unique being. I truly don’t think it makes you selfish..or less ‘serious’ about life. Your kink is a way to express yourself..and ..speaking only for myself when going through hard times.. writing and commuicating and reaching out offers a BIG degree of comfort and a sense of stability..espcially when life can seem so (suddenly) unstable. If you were to take a sabbatical and STOP posting and being there for your scene friends..THATS when I would be concerned.

I find getting a good thrashing a fantastic way to deal with “serious” issues in life (it can help me get out of a funk; of course, if I’m too deep in the funk I don’t always feel like playing). I DO have to maintain some sort of balance between work, family, creativity, scene life, and other parts of life. I think I do a fairly good job of it.