Harper's Magazine, 9권

centives, however, to the deliberate partaking of balance sheet, for the inspection of his master, in our meals, one ought, especially, to have weight; order that he might see what had been the profits and that is, that hasty, indigestive "cramming' of of his business for the past year. On this occasion food is a serious, and almost a certain cause of ill- the balance-sheet showed to the credit of the busihealth:

scratched his head with surprise, and commenced Like the beasts in Raymond's show,

adding up both sides of the account for himself. It O'er the mighty desert scouring,

proved right. Devastating as they go.

“I did na' think,' said he, that I was worth ** Where's that waiter?'-one breath later

over four thousand pounds ; but ye ha' made me a And the cabbage is no more!

much richer man. Weel, weel, I may ha' been Disappearing in the clearing

mair successful than I had tho't, and I'll na' quarrel of the gent it stands before.

wi' mysel' for being worth six thousand instead.' "Are we on the eve of 'bu'sting'

“At early candle-light the store was regularly Generally up, for good ?

closed by the faithful accountant; and as soon as Are we seriously distrusting

he had gone, the sorely-perplexed and incredulous Our prospective chance of food ?

merchant commenced the painful task of going over " Are we to be hung to-morrow,

and examining all the accounts for himself. Night Executed to a man,

after night did he labor in his solitary countingThat we seek .surcease of sorrow,'

house alone, to look for the error; but every examBy devouring all we can ?

ination confirmed the correctness of the clerk, until " Are we cramming beef and lamb in

the old Scotchman began to believe it possible that From an unsubstantial fear

he was really worth sax thousand pounds.' or a grand potato famine

" Stimulated by this addition to his wealth, he Shipped from Ireland, coming here?

soon felt a desire to improve the condition of his * What's the reason that we seize on

household; and with that view, made purchase of "Grub' like birds and beasts of prey ?

new furniture, carpets, and other elegancies, conIs the question indigestion,

sistent with the position of a man possessing the That quack medicines may pay?

large fortune of six thousand pounds. Painters

and carpenters were set to work to tear down and * Oh! a hideous apprehension

build up; and in a short time the gloomy-looking Often o'er my bosom steals,

residence in Stone Street was renovated to such a With a strong and nervous tension,

degree as to attract the curiosity and envy of all his Thrilling me from head to heels!

neighbors. The doubts of the old man would still, ""Tis that, some day, some collection

however, obtrude themselves upon his mind; and Of the hungry guests I've seen,

he determined once more to make a thorough exIn voracity's perfection,

amination of his accounts. Having swept the table clean,

“On a dark and stormy night he commenced his * Win, their appetites to smother

labors, with the patient investigating spirit of a man Wildly on the waiters fall,

determined to probe the matter to the very bottom. Then, devouring one another .

It was past the hour of midnight, yet he had not Eat up landlord, cooks, and all.!”

been able to detect a single error ; but still he went

on. His heart beat high with hope, for he had The following amusing example of “ Book-keep- nearly reached the end of his labor. A quick susing; or the Rich Man in Spite of Himself," was pub-picion seized his mind as to one item in the account. lished some years ago, and was at the time declared Eureka! He had found it. With the frenzy of a to be a perfectly authentic anecdote of an old New madman he drew his broad-brimmed white hat over York merchant:

his eyes, and rushed into the street. The rain and “In old times it was the custom of the merchants storm were nothing to him. He hurried to the of the city of New York to keep their accounts in residence of his clerk, in Wall Street ; 'reached the pounds shillings and pence currency. About fifty door, and seized the handle of the huge knocker, years ago a frugal, industrious Scotch merchant, with which he rapped until the neighborhood was well known to the then small mercantile community roused with the loud alarm.' of this city, had, by dint of fortunate commercial “The unfortunate clerk poked his nightcap out adventure and economy, been enabled to save some-of an upper window, and demanded :: thing like four thousand pounds; a considerable ". Wha's there? sum of money at that period, and one wbich secured “It's me, you scoundrel!' said the frenzied to its possessor a degree of enviable independence. merchant; *ye've added up the year of our Laird His places of business and residence were, as was among the pounds ! customary at that time, under the same roof. He “Such was the fact. The addition of the year had a clerk in his employment whose reputation as of our Lord among the items had swelled the fortune an accountant inspired the utmost confidence of of the merchant some two thousand pounds beyond his master, whose frugal habits he emulated with the amount." the true spirit and feeling of a genuine Caledonian. It was usual for the accountant to make an annual HERE are a couple of love-songs, at once both

tea."

Latin and English, one of the amusements of Dean “I want a pair of shoes, father," says Joha. Swift. There is a mine of wit and originality in “I can get a capital pair for three-and-sixpence, the learned trifles :

“You must get them for three shillings, John : « Apud in is almi de si re,

we owe the butcher four, and he must be paid, er Mimis tres I ne ver te qui re,

we get no meat : there, that ends it," said the poor Alo ver I findit a gestis,

old man, with a satisfied air ; but his vision of inHis miseri ne ver at restis.

dependence was in an instant destroyed, by John's "A pudding is all my desire,

simply saying: My mistress I never require,

"You've forgotten the landlady, father!" A lover I find it a jest is,

“Yes, John, that's true-80 I have. She must His misery never at rest is."

have her pay, or out we go." The next, in the same style and vein, is equally | “She must !!" echoed John. happy :

The old man's schemes to pacify his creditors “ Jones," said a sympathizing neighbor to a with five-and-twenty shillings were all dissipated friend, "what in the world put matrimony into by the recollection of the baker, and sweeping the your head ?"

money off the table into his breeches-pocket, he "Well, the fact is, I was getting short of shirts !" roared out, in a great passion :

“Let 'em all go !-I'll not pay a farthing to any A DIALOGUE between a father-a dissipated and of 'em !" extravagant man--and his son, as to how to expend How this may strike others, we do not know; five-and-twenty shillings, which anewsituation was but to our minds this dialogue, and the circumto give the former, is one of the laughable, and, at the stances (call them rather weaknesses and vices) same time, instructive things that have found their which led to it, involve a very fruitful lesson. It way into our omnium-gatherum. It runs as follows illustrates very forcibly the denunciation of the

“Now, Johnny, my boy," the old man would Scriptures : say, " let me see; I owe eight shillings at the por- “Wo unto them who rise up in the morning to ter-house, sign of “The Saddle ;' well, that's that.” pursue strong drink-who continue until night; un(Putting the amount on one side.)

til wine inflame them !" “Yes," says Johnny.

“ Well, then I promised to pay a score at the “W.T.H.," of Baltimore, sends for the“ Drawer Blue Pig Tavern-say five shillings. How much the ensuing, with the accompanying note : does that make, John ?"

| “Herewith is a piece, found among some very “Why, thirteen shillings," says the boy, count- old papers, which it is there stated has never being on his fingers.

fore been published' For severe wit and sarcasm, “But I mean, you goose, how much have I got it strikes me as possessing very great merit, and I left ?"

think it will afford the readers of the Drawer' “How should I know ?” says John; “ count it some amusement. The explanatory caption was yourself: you've got the money."

found with the piece, which, as I have said, has “But you ought to know," says the father, with been among old family papers for many years. true parental authority. “Take thirteen from twen- There can be, I should think, no doubt whatever ty-five-how many remains ? Why twelve, to be about the authenticity of the piece." sure," counting the balance slyly in his hand. “Mr. Wall, of West Bromwich, was, many years since, “ That's the way you are neglecting your education, land steward to T. C. Tervoise, Esq., a large landed prois it? I shall have to talk to your schoolmaster.” prietor in Warwickshire ; and, by his vexatious and op

"Yes, you'd better talk to him! He told me pressive conduct, had occasioned much uneasiness among yesterday that unless you let him have some money

the inhabitants. Mr. Canning, then a young man, was I needn't come to school any more."

on a visit to the clergyman of he parish, and entering

into the grief of the people, wrote the following sarcastic “Ah, true, my boy-true; you mustn't lose

lines. Wall and Mr. Tervoise were very much enraged, your education, at any rate. Take him round five and offered five hundred pounds for the discovery of the shillings after dinner. I had a pot of beer with him author. last night, and he agreed if I would let him have

“MURUS AHENRUS EST. that much now, he would be satisfied for the pres.

“Will Shakspeare of old, for the pleasure of all, ent.”

Presented a man in the shape of a wall;

Our landlord, alas! for a different plan,

“ Prometheus : he stole fire from the skies to up a Wall in the shape of a man :

warm a small Pig-malion for his breakfast.” or such rude materials, so heavy and thick,

“How do you bone a turkey?" With a heart of hard stone, and a facing of brick,

“ Poke the stuffing in with my knuckles." That 'tis plain from its blundering form and its feat

“If you know nothing about boiling a goose, how ures, Twas built by some journeyman mason of Nature's; do you expec-to-rate as a cook ?" And, spoilt by its master's continued neglect,

“As a spitter, of course." Oppresses the land it was meant to protect.

The late Dr. Chapman, of Philadelphia, one of This Wall, this curs'd Wall, ever since it was raised, the dryest and slyest of humorists, furnished, many With quarrels and squabbles the country has teased,

years ago, the material of this last-named play upon And its office thereby it performs with precision,

a word. For the grand use of Walls we all know is division. Some people maintain that no prospect is good,

We have omitted to mention in compliance with But the varied expanse of plain, water, and wood; Our hopes are confined, our taste is but small,

a request, and information furnished by a correFor we only request to behold a dead Wall.

spondent at Fayette (Miss.) in March last, that the The trees on the Wall are pleasant to see,

| droll Arkansas “Noatis,” which appeared in the Mach more so to us were the Wall on the tree; February number, and was credited to the “Spirit And if to exalt it would please Mr. Tervoise,

of the Times," originally appeared in the Southern Any tree in the parish is much at his service."

Watchtower," of Fayette, to which journal it was

contributed by Joshua S. Morris, Esq., a resident It was an ancient PUNCH, if we remember of that town. If the paper in question has many rightly, who gave the annexed as a passage from such contributors, it will be a " Tower" of strength # The Cook's Oracle ;"

in its humorous department. "What is a spider ?"

"A thing the maid kills with a brush, after I have THERE have been sent, in “correction" of the done breaking breakfast-cakes in it."

alleged authorship of the lines written by a blind “How could you cook your mistress ?”

Quaker woman of Philadelphia--published recent* By getting her into a stew ?"

ly in the “ Drawer"-numerous letters, attributing “How can you make a venison-pie without the lines to Milton. But the lines were written, as four ?"

stated, by Elizabeth Lloyd, a Quaker woman, and * Put deer meat inside, and make the crust of blind, of Philadelphia. They appear in no early

edition of Milton's Poems; but in the last Cam“What patron saint do you worship ?"

bridge edition they are published as a “newly-dis* The god Pan."

covered effusion" from the pen of the immortal au" Who was the first cook ?"

|thor of "Paradise Lost" and "Paradise Regained.

doe.”

Literary Jutires.

BESIDES the numerous reprints of valuable for- / who are induced to take up their residence in this sign books, our literary record for the present month country, and after a series of painfully disastrous comprises but a scanty number of publications, events, find a tragic winding-up of their history in some of which, however, present very favorable a remote town of Vermont. The most striking specimens of native talent in various walks of merits of the production which are numerous and literature.

of a high order-are its vivid and subtle delineaA theological work of considerable importance is tions of passion, the admirable fidelity of its charThe Divine Character Vindicated, by the Rev. MOSES acter-drawing, its frequent touches of pathos, its BALLOU, being a review of some of the principal graphic and effective descriptions of nature, and its features of Dr. Edward Beecher's celebrated Con- life-like, home-like pictures of American manners, flict of Ages. Mr. Ballou presents a copious an. drawn sometimes perhaps with a little too much alysis of that work, treating the statements of the intensity, but always with essential truthfulness, author with candor and justice, and then proceeds and never sacrificing a kindly and generous spirit to an examination of its remarkable theory in the to the love of satire. In the management of the light of reason and Scripture. His own views are plot, which we think is too complicated in its defounded on the essential benignity of the Divine tails, Mrs. Robinson shows not a little ingenuity character, and the limited consequences of sin, and and artistic skill. She constantly keeps the curithough they must fail of giving satisfaction to the osity of the reader on the stretch, and escapes from religious world in general, they are sustained with the most difficult situations by adroit arrangements a good deal of argumentative skill, and are often which have the effect of a pleasing surprise. The suggestive of profound reflections. In its trans- narrative is full of action and incident, and, coverparent simplicity, the style of the volume affords a ing a wide space, admits of a remarkable variety of good model of theological discussion. (Published scenes, derived from opposite extremities of the by Redfield.)

American continent. Apart from its interest as a The Eriles is the title of an American novel by novel-which is guaranteed by a plot of high-wrought Talvi (Mrs. ROBINSON), in which that accom romance-its acute remarks on American instituplished lady brings the fruits of her wide experience tions and society, illustrated by a succession of of social life in this country to the illustration of a lively sketches, evidently taken from the life, chalpowerful and touching fictitious narrative. The lenge the attention of readers, and can not fail to story describes the varied fortunes of a couple of reward them for its perusal. Like the other producGerman emigrants, from the higher walks of society, tions of TALVI, which have given her such a high

mista

rank in literature both at home and abroad, this rapher and honest chronicler” has succeeded to a work was originally written in German. It loses charm in giving the veracious history of her life. nothing however in the translation, which has been His irrepressible love of fun is so blended with the executed with such idiomatic grace as to read like true spirit of wit, as to entitle him to a high rank in the composition of one to whom the language is the walk to which he has so cordially devoted him. native.

self. He is certainly a master in this line--at the Manners and Customs of the Ancient Egyptians, by very top of the scale and his imitators are-noSir G. WILKINSON. In this important work a com- where. plete view of Egyptian antiquities is presented, Crosby and Nichols have issued a posthumous showing the character of the domestic life, political work by the late Rev. SYLVESTER JUDD, consistinstitutions, religious observances, and industrial ing of a series of discourses on The Church. Mr. arts of that remarkable people. It is the product of Judd is well remembered as the gifted but erratic long and laborious research; it bears the stamp of author of Margaret, Richard Edney, and other prethoroughness on every page; it is copious, without ductions, which have obtained a limited circle of being confused; the descriptive portions are crowd- devoted admirers. Several, of his friends have ed with information, while they are couched in a thought it desirable to bring before the public his flowing and attractive style, clothing the hoary and views concerning Church principles, plans, and orwasted Past in a fresh and life-like costume. The ganization, and the result is the present volume. volume is illustrated by a multitude of engravings, The discourses which it contains are written in a which make the explanations of the writer perfectly plain and unambitious style, and in a tone of unclear to the eye. It will be welcomed by the stu.

earnestness. dent of profane history, and no less by the searcher An edition of Professor Smith's History of of the Scriptures, as an efficient and most interest-Greece is issued by Harper and Brothers, expressly ing aid in their pursuits. (Published by Harper prepared by a competent American editor. As a and Brothers.)

popular manual of Grecian history this work is enThe Regent's Daughter is a dramatic adaptation, tirely without a rival in English literature. It founded on the romance of ALEXANDRE Dumas, embodies the best fruits of modem researches in a hinging on a plot for the assassination of the Re- style of remarkable elegance and grace, and presents gent, Philip of Orleans, in which the lover of the the oft-told story of Grecian development not only Regent's unacknowledged daughter is the chief with critical discrimination but with picturesque actor, and which was detected by the counter-in- beauty. The high rank of Professor Smith as a trigues of Cardinal Dubois. The translator has classical scholar vouches for the accuracy of his executed his task with remarkable success, show narrative, while the charms of its diction offer a ing a sagacious perception of the sources of dra rare enticement to every tasteful reader. matic effect, and a felicitous command of spirited, Spirit Manifestations Examined and Explained, by and nervous English. The play is intended primarily John BOVEE Dods. (Published by Dewitt and for reading, but, with some unimportant omissions, Davenport.) After the elaborate defense of the sowould be admirably suited to public representation. called Spiritual Manifestations by Judge Edmonds, Its authorship in the present form has been ascribed and some other writers of ability and official posito the editor of the Albion, weekly newspaper, Mr. tion, the subject has assumed an importance in the WILLIAM Young, and it certainly betrays the public eye which we think is quite out of proportion graceful vigor of expression for which the pen of to the value of any communications obtained by this that gentleman is famed. (Published by Appleton peculiar agency-mysterious, preternatural, spiritand Co.)

ual, psychological, or by whatever term it is desigAmong the numerous popular fictions called forth nated. As an illustration of certain remarkable by the Temperance Reform, the story entitled powers in the human system-not yet sufficiently Minnie Hermon, by THURLow W. Brown, is as explained-this volume, however, is seasonable, well entitled to commendation as any that have and well adapted to gratify a laudable curiosity. fallen under our critical eye. It presents a series The writer, who has devoted his attention for many of vivid sketches, many of them marked by true years to the subject, and who is undoubtedly a man pathos, showing the tragic effects of indulgence in of scientific research, as well as of candor and imthe fatal cup. The facts are evidently taken from partiality, professes to have discovered the origin of real life, and though embellished with a high rhetor- the phenomena in question in the involuntary powers ical coloring, can not be said to exaggerate the evils of the mind, the physical instruments of which are which they are intended to illustrate. (Published seated in the cerebellum. He adduces a multitude by Miller, Orton, and Mulligan.)

of very curious facts in support of his theory, which, The Life and Sayings of Mrs. Partington, by B. if they do not give it the force of demonstration, P. SHILLABER, have been collected in a neat vol. have a great deal of plausibility, considered in that ume, illustrated by numerous characteristic en point of view, and are well worth the study of the gravings, and published by J. C. Derby. The un- anthropological inquirer. Dr. Dods handles his exampled popularity attained by these specimens of subject without bitterness or partisan zeal. He imnative humor, as they have appeared from time to putes no sinister motives to the believers in spirittime in the public journals, may safely be taken as ual manifestations. He thinks them in a great a test of their genuine and rare merits. We regard error, and endeavors to show them the ground of them as among the best productions of the sportive their error. His volume is eminently readable-rebadinage, so congenial to the American taste, that plete with singular instances of abnormal phenomare to be found in our lighter literature. The char. ena, both from ancient and modern times--and is acter of the oracular old dame is sustained with not surpassed, either in instruction or entertaindramatic harmony through the whole of her unique ment, by any work yet called forth by the “spiritual comments; she never by any mischance relapses controversy." into orthodox English; and always hides beneath D. Appleton and Co. have issued a neat and conher eccentricity of expression the largest and warm- venient edition of Surenne's French and English est soul of grandmotherly kindness. Her biog- | Dictionary, thoroughly revised and improved by
additions from standard authorities, forming one of able account of travels performed in connection with the best manuals for constant reference now in use. the joint English and Russian commission for set

The recent publications of T. B. Peterson in- tling the boundary between Turkey and Persia in clude, among others, T. S. ARTHUR's excellent the region occupied by the Koordish tribes. In addidomestic stories of The Iron Rule; or, Tyranny in tion to the lively sketches of Eastern manners and the Household, and The Lady at Home; or, Happi- scenery, the volume abounds with copious and valuness in the Household ; a compact and well-printed able notices of Armenian history, and the progress edition of DISRAELI's novels, Venetia, The Young of Russian aggression in that quarter. Drike, Miriam, Alroy, Henrietta Temple, and Con- Mason Brothers publish A History of the Old tarini Fleming, each work, comprising three volumes Hundredth Psalm Tune, by the Rev. W. H. HAVERin the original, in one handsome volume; and Kate GALL, with an introductory notice by the Rt. Rev. Clarendon and Viola, by EMERSON BENNETT. The Bishop WAINWRIGHT. It furnishes a curious his. numerous popular fictionis brought out by Mr. Pe- tory of that ancient piece of psalmody, with an terson, have given his name a wide celebrity among account of the successive changes which it has unbook-purchasers, and have contributed greatly to the dergone. Its authorship is ascribed, not to Martin promotion of a cheap literature.

Luther, according to the traditional opinion, but to The prevailing interest in the war now waging William Franc, an obscure composer, whose name between Russia and the Allied Powers has called is known only in connection with the Genevan forth numerous publications relating to the condi- | Psalter. The tune, however, has since been subtion of Russia and Turkey, which can not fail to jected to so many variations as almost to have lost be received with general satisfaction. Of these the its original identity. most original and able is Russia as it is, by Count' A new edition of TALFOURD's Critical and MisDE GUROWSKI, a Polish nobleman, now resident in cellaneous Writings is published by Phillips, Sampthis country, and a thinker of great depth and pen- son, and Co., containing the most important essays etration, profoundly versed in the civil and military and reviews of their late lamented author. As a affairs of Europe, and warmly devoted to the for- sound and impartial critic, Talfourd occupies a high tunes of the Sclavonic race. His work abounds in place in English literature. If he did not affect the rare and valuable information, in comprehensive brilliant audacity of Jeffrey, he was far more cathgeneral statements, and in copious statistical ac-olic in his tastes, and more profoundly appreciative counts of the resources of Russia. The style is in his judgments. Free from the love of paradox, lucid and vigorous, and presents a remarkable in- which, to a great extent, vitiated the remarkable stance of effective idiomatic expression by one critical acuteness of Hazlitt, and never, like Colewho writes in a foreign language. This work is ridge, overlaying the original and subtle distinctions published by the Appletons.

of transcendental speculation with a cloud of va. The Russian Shores of the Black Sea, by Law. porous phraseology, Talfourd brought an honest and RENCE OLIPHANT, is an entertaining narrative of masculine judgment, a keen perception of truth, a a voyage down the river Volga, and a tour through singularly refined taste, a profound and universal the country of the Don Cossacks. It is filled with culture, and a most gracious sympathy with every lively pictures of the peculiar manners of the people, genuine manifestation of intellect, to the criticism and of the natural scenery of that portion of the of the great literary productions of the age. His Russian Empire. (Published by Redfield.) verdicts, in almost all cases, will stand the test of

Redfield has also issued A Year with the Turks, time. He was apparently almost wholly devoid of by WARINGTON W. Smyth, containing sketches prejudice-certainly, he had not a trace of malignity of travel in the European and Asiatic dominions or captiousness in his nature-he never sought to of the Sultan. It presents a highly favorable view amuse himself or the public at the expense of an of the Turkish character, which it defends with the unfortunate author-he did not mistake severity for spirit of a partisan.

acuteness, nor wholesale censure for just discrimA work of great interest on the Russian policy, en-ination-he never condemned without causetitled the Knout and the Russians, from the French though, perhaps, it may be admitted that his heart of GERMAIN DE LAGNY, is published by Harper was tinctured with an excess of favoritism for and Brothers. It presents a detailed and very lively those whom he deemed great intellectual benefacdescription of the interior of Russian society, with tors, and who had not met with the due meed of a lucid exposition of the prominent public institu- | honor from the public. His native kindliness protions. The author is no friend to the Czar, and no tected him from the bitterness which is often thought donbt occasionally permits his hostility to color his to be an essential element of criticism ; while his statements. We do not think, however, that the wakeful good sense and delicately sensitive taste, substantial accuracy of his work can be called in prevented him from becoming the dupe of pretenquestion, and the strong feeling under which he sion. In our opinion, his critical essays possess writes gives a piquant zest to his descriptions, and far more than an ephemeral value; we know of no effectually prevents the reader from falling asleep. better comments on recent English literature; and. His chapters on the army, the nobility, the clergy, their diligent study can not fail to produce the the navy, the magistracy, and the finances, are in most wholesome effects on the public taste. forming and valuable. His account of Russian My Schools and Schoolmasters, by Hugh MILLER, serfdom is full of novel and striking views. In de- is an admirable specimen of autobiography, detailscribing the punishment of the knout, he brings for- ing the varied experiences of his early years, and ward several terrible instances showing the severity / the successive steps by which, from a working meof Russian criminal law, in spite of the abolition of chanic, he attained his present scientific distinction. capital punishment. The vivacity of style with It is a work replete with instruction and encouragewhich this volume is written makes it more readable ment, especially to those who have not enjoyed the than a large proportion of the works which have benefits of a regular scholastic education. (Pubbeen suggested by the Russian question.

lished by Gould and Lincoln.) Another work issued by Harper and Brothers, in An Art-Student in Munich, by ANNA MARY Howrelation to Turkey, is CURZON's Armenia, an agree. litt. A delightful record of personal experiences,