There are countless women out there desperate to get their ex back. I should know, I was once one of them and I actually am now married to my ex!

Getting him back actually isn’t that hard. Making it work the second time around is the tough part that trips most people up and that’s what leads to an endless on-again, off-again relationship cycle that could cost you years of your life.

You can’t just dive back into the relationship and expect everything to be different this time around. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons will still be there unless properly dealt with. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results, that’s just insane (literally, I think that’s the actual definition of insanity).

You can’t really follow your heart here, you need to follow a plan. And I’ve got you covered on that front!

Having a plan will not only help you to navigate the situation smoothly and effortlessly, but can also save you weeks, months, or even years of emotional turmoil and distress.

A breakup can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and emotionally drained. This isn’t exactly a healthy place to be making life-changing decisions from.

A good plan will provide you the structure and support you need to get your ex back for good. It will help you get yourself back on track emotionally and mentally so that you and your ex will have a chance of really making it work the second time around. After all, that’s the goal.

You not only want to get your ex back, you want to be able to keep him. Without a plan, it is easy to fall into familiar patterns that could hurt your chances of ever getting him back at all — or getting him back only to lose him again soon after.

I get ex-back questions all the time so I decided to write one article that addresses them all from start to finish. This article will give you the exact steps to take to deal your emotional state after a break-up and will guide you every step of the way to getting your ex back and keeping him forever. Let’s begin!

There is nothing more painful in life than being stuck where you don’t belong … especially when you’re stuck in an unrequited situation where you still love your ex and he doesn’t love you back. Or maybe he also loves you, but he doesn’t want to be with you … it doesn’t matter.

What matters is you are in pain. You’re stuck. You ache for something that is no longer yours and may never be yours. You want to be free but you are boxed in by the pain and uncertainty. You feel hopeless and powerless. You desperately seek a magic bullet or solution to create a reality that you believe needs to exist!

I was stuck in love with an ex for over two years. Two years of pining and hoping, maybe even praying. I’m the personality type that tends to get stuck. I can’t move forward until I know everything about everything. I need explanations for all. I can’t accept that sometimes, we need to create our own closure. I stubbornly held onto the notion that closure would arrive at my door wrapped up in a pretty bow.

If you’ve read any of my articles or books you know I’m not a fan of rules when it comes to relationships. I think rules treat the symptoms, not the disease, but that’s a tangent for a different time!

The only “rule” you might hear me reference is the “no contact rule.” This is something I’ve discussed when I write about how to get your ex back and is a concept I get asked about frequently, but I noticed it often gets misinterpreted and done completely wrong so I figured it was worth writing an article exclusively on this subject.

The no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like. After a breakup, you resolve to not contact your ex for a determined amount of time. Easy in theory, not always easy in practice.

When done right, the no contact rule can get you the exact relationship you’ve always wanted (and not always with your ex, sometimes you’ll be surprised where it takes you). When done wrong, you just end up wasting even more of your precious time pining away for someone who isn’t meant for you.

So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and talk about everything you need to know about the no contact rule.

One of the most common questions I get asked is some variation of “How can I get my ex-boyfriend back?” In all honesty, I’m very hesitant about this kind of thing because it usually ends in disaster. Well, maybe not a disaster, but definitely another round of heartbreak, often much greater than the first.

The reason is that people usually get back together for the wrong reasons and without addressing the real underlying issues, so it’s not so surprising that history repeats itself. I’ve seen ex-back scenarios unfold in a variety of ways—some that end in utter, massive heartbreak, others that end with a trip down the aisle. I’ve even seen couples get remarried after many years being divorced who are now happier than ever!

It is definitely possible to get your ex back and make the relationship last, but it doesn’t just happen because you want it to. There are important things to consider and a bit of work to be done. Missing each other isn’t enough. Loving each other isn’t enough. Relationships take more than that to survive.

This is a pretty fun topic for me personally because I’m married to my high school ex-boyfriend, and my college ex-boyfriend is my business partner, so I guess you could say I’m a real ex-back success story!

But usually, the rule is: if it didn’t work, it won’t work…unless something significant changes. To increase your chances for success, you need to arm yourself with the right information.

So let’s break it all down: What will it take to get your ex back, and how can you make it last forever this time around?

I was barely fifteen years old, sitting outside secretly smoking cigarettes at my uncles house, just lying back with my cousins on the roof and looking out at the vast, beautiful summer sky. A virgin in all senses of the word, I had yet to even kiss a guy at that point, but as I stared into the sky that night, a peace came over me and I suddenly looked up with a smile and said, “I think I want a boyfriend. My first serious boyfriend.”

Given that, I simply thought it was destiny when less than a week later, at the start of my sophomore year, Anthony (*names changes) caught my eye. We would smile as we passed each other in the halls and he would always come linger next to my desk before the start of class. The first Friday of the school year, at the football game, me, my best friend, him and his best friend, all left the game to go to the movies- he had been asking me non-stop. Shortly into the movie which was, of course, a horror movie, he kissed the side of my face and whispered, “Will you be my girlfriend.” And just like that, one of the most powerful relationships of my life began.