choosing sobriety

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I don’t have loads of friends. I have a few close friends, some of whom live quite a long way away from me, and lots of people I interact with on a daily basis (in a friendly way – colleagues I guess).

I’m quite busy. I have a FT job, three children, two dogs and a house to keep. I think I’m more of an introvert than I was – or perhaps I’m just freer to be how I really am, and I need space to relax, a bit of me time to recover from the hectic pace of the weeks. I find small talk quite tiring, and feel anxious in big groups. I much prefer small groups of people I know, or one to one.. Part of the reason is, I think, because most of my days are spent in consultations., meeting peoples ‘needs’; being empathetic; listening; sorting things out. Once I have come home, sorted out the boys’ needs as well, I just need some down time..

I have stopped doing one or two social things since I have been sober, initially because they were in the pub, and latterly because I have felt too insular.

Yesterday I made a new friend. I met with a woman I have communicated with a lot over the internet. She is sober like me, and has quite a similar story ( good job, stable social situation, too much wine). I think we were both a little nervous (what if shes NOT a she! ) and maybe a bit worried that we wouldn’t get on, or would run out of things to say…

It was great! Right from the off we chatted and laughed and shared thoughts and experiences. It felt so normal, like we had known one another for ages.Looking at her, bright, energetic and full of life, it was hard to believe that she, like me had struggled to stop drinking. We met in a bar (!) at lunchtime, and watched the other customers drinking a LOT of alcohol with wry smiles. We drank the place out of Becks Blue I think (6 bottles !)..

It was a really nice afternoon and such a positive experience, towards the end of our meeting my friend gave me a beautifully wrapped package. It was the bracelet you see above- which matches the one she was wearing, it has an infinity symbol in the middle to symbolise a commitment to staying sober.

such a lovely thing 😀 And such a thoughtful gift 😀

And I feel like I made another friend, to help me on my way, as I hope I can help her.

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7 comments

Meeting sober women has been one the most magical parts of this journey.
Instant rapport and kinship.
I have made some lifelong friends who I know have my back…all because I was willing to take e risk and meet people In real life that I met online.

It’s awesome. I think mainly because of the honesty. When we are open with our struggles we see the humanity in each other.

So beautiful! Such a great way to end a rough year! Wishing you a Merry Christmas -Hope that’s appropriate- and a Happy New Year filled with more and more positive experiences, new friendships and of course Love!
Lynne

That sounds wonderful Lily. Finding a friend with so much in common is a wonderful thing. I feel pretty alone myself right now. I haven’t met any other Australians in my journey. Maybe I am not looking hard enough.