Diversity requirements are among the most effective weapons wielded by the Americans. A White House aide pointed out:

Islamic radicals need to understand that they must meet our goals and timetables. That is, if you’re a terrorist and you shoot at us, we’re gonna speak with you. And if your terrorist group doesn’t meet our minority-and-women representation requirements, you’re gonna be filling out forms for the rest of your days.

We also check for other signs of discrimination. Were the correct percentages of your weapons built by approved minority vendors? Were your explosive belts manufactured by non-union labor? Were you using hurtful language while you were tossing grenades at us? Is everyone in your death squad being treated equally? These things matter more to us than whether you kill our troops. You see, individuals are replaceable, but progressive values are sacrosanct. And if you attack our values, you’re going to be explaining yourself in remedial education sessions and you’re going to be doing a lot … and I mean a lot … of writing!

Although the new White House directive is largely incoherent, civil rights lawyers believe it offers a long-sought compromise between conventional combat and the ACLU requirement that “enemies be treated as though they are United States civilians.” As one Iraqi insurgent put it, “We can withstand your guns and tanks, but please, kill us all before you inflict more sensitivity training!” In fact, the very thought of such punishments has made even the most battle-hardened insurgents whimper for mercy.

But a sizable number of former Islamic radicals have also expressed willingness to convert to the progressive radical faith. Says one:

The God of Progress is twice more powerful than Allah, if he is capable of enforcing twice the number of taboos than we ever had in Sharia.

According to a newly converted cleric, the two religions have a lot in common, since they both are self-contained spiritual, economic, and political systems:

What’s different is that your Progressive faith is way more restrictive than Islam. I like that. If our goal is to make humanity suffer, Progressivism is the ticket.

The war is not over, though, as Osama bin Laden is still in hiding. In a taped message, he said:

I will surrender if the United States promises to overlook my family’s lack of compliance with WBE and MBE requirements in their construction business.

But the White House believes that is an irrelevant point. Said one aide:

We don’t care about his family. But he has led an organization that is guilty of de facto religious discrimination. If you’re going to butcher Americans, you had better do it with a diverse group of murderers. Al-Qaeda is comprised only of Muslims, and that’s wrong. We’re going to find Mr. bin Laden, and he will definitely learn what it means to meet diversity goals.

Oleg Atbashian, a writer and graphic artist from the former USSR, is the author of Shakedown Socialism, of which David Horowitz said, "I hope everyone reads this book." In 1994 he moved to the U.S. with the hope of living in a country ruled by reason and common sense, appreciative of its freedoms and prosperity. To his dismay, he discovered a nation deeply infected by the leftist disease of "progressivism" that was arresting true societal progress. Oleg is the creator of a satirical website ThePeoplesCube.com, which Rush Limbaugh described on his show as "a Stalinist version of The Onion."

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28 Comments, 18 Threads

1.
Dave Carter

I am certain 2+2=4 still, but I am getting weary.
Lots of articles on marxism lately.
I ain’t in the collective. And I will oppose until my last breath.
God Grant us strength.

You can put the labor unions into that category too. Eventually it seems that they all sell out to the left after achieving their stated purpose. Where else to continue to have some power for their “leadership”. The left will just continue to recycle their grievances long after they have become moldy and stale.

Again, in my opinion, unions, in the same way as the NAACP, originated with good intentions. Basically uneducated, blue collar workers were, and continue to be, protected by labor laws. The POLITICAL turn that these institutions have taken present big problems.

Fantastic article. I must confess that I was into the second paragraph before I realized it was satire. It’s sad when such great humor is degraded by the fact that it’s all too believable. When you initially think, “Well more idiocy from the White House”, you just know we’re in deep trouble.

Islam is an Arab Supremacist CULT hence the misogyny, race hate, slavery justification. Couple that with the fact that you can only pray to Allah in correctly accented Primitive, Ambiguous 7th Century Arabic as used in the region where Mohammad grew up (what a surprise hey and what a perfect proof of its INVENTION by him).

Now ask yourself what sort of Supreme Being can only understand Primitive, Ambiguous 7th Century Arabic.

You have to wonder when Gibson, Grigorieva and her teeth and Whoopi Goldberg capture the morning news, together with Lohan’s latest, if the West is at all capable of being serious about anything, much less Islam.

The only reason people hear have trouble identifying this article as BS after the first few lines is that you are all brainwashed by this site. Day in and out you read articles negatively slanted and sometimes completely made up that attack liberals. As far as I have read most people here cannot tell the difference between fact and fiction.

Steve I do agree with you in what you say about moonbat Brian but perhaps you would like to visit your ‘HEAR, HERE’ comment again Brian used ‘here’ perfectly correctly and you are just making yourself look foolish. He talked of ‘here’ as in ‘on this site’ and not ‘hear’ as in ‘what they heard’.

So it seems its YOU who does not know the difference so as you say Einstein YOU are not. By your ‘Here’s a push pop’ one can only presume you are a young half educated fool who thinks he’s a smart arse .

Al Qaeda’s response to Obama:You are racially profiling Al Qaeda as terrorists; We are a peaceful, social engineering organization, that sometimes agrees with the Democrat Party.
If you continue with your racial assaults, we shall seek U.N. Sanctions against you and your regime of psychos and misfits, and will intensify our ‘No Fly Zone’ across your country.
P.S. Please get a hijab for your wife.

Quite interesting blog article. I randomly stumbled upon this web site when I was in the middle of doing some research using the internet. Wanted to say I like this web site and to keep on doing what youre doing. Also keep in mind, enjoy the adventure… dont over-focus on the final destination. Have fun, Pete