All last week as the markets tanked I crowded onto the website of Wall Street Journal like a moth to flame. And today the Dow ends up over 900 points. Is this for real or a euphoric blip? Should I have been selling today when the market didn’t tank after 3 p.m.? Only time will tell.

To my credit, I didn’t bite on any of those commercials flashing just below the market report all last week. The Jack Daniels bottle all but danced out of there and poured me a drink. Now that I understood the targeted marketing concept, I watched for someone to sell spots on the ledge of the 14th floor of an office building. A news story running below was about San Francisco’s plans to install a chain net under its bridge, though its not there yet.Wink Wink

For today, I will settle for pinning the tail back on the financial donkey. Besides I’m out of Jack Daniels.

A truck hauling nickels for the mint dumped its load on I-4 near Orlando, Florida, last week. I don’t have to tell you hands were turned into scoops, do I? Guess what? Same thing has already begun in Washington even before the nickels roll.

Buried in an article about medical costs taking a toll on insured are these words of wisdom from Len Nichols, a health economist at the New America Foundation, a non-partisan policy group that advocates universal medical coverage:

“This makes clear the cost of doing nothing is high and growing. While policy analysts acknowledge that finding any new money to expand coverage might prove difficult, some also say the terms of the debate could be changing as policymakers and the public rethink their positions on the need for regulation and the role of the government in the industry – including the health-care system.

“We can now imagine a government takeover that we could not imagine before.” Nichols said.

Or as a wise Chinese saying goes, “A journey of a million miles begins with one step.”Are we ready to take that step?

Fellow Americans, I need your help. Please read the letter below, which I received by email today. The situation sounds so very urgent. Do you think I should help them out? Advice appreciated.

Anhinga

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America . My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.