by AYCACUN

NOT NO?

Brought to my life by New York:) Didn’t have much of an idea of the phrase as well as the behavior before, at least in that scale. I had some “maybes” before but “not no” was kinda new. Quite honestly it bugged me for a while, maybe because I really didn’t get to understand it but also to me it was not an answer.

Think about it, you are trying to make plans with your friends to go for a brunch and one person says “I’m not saying no” ~so what is it now? Are you coming or not? Do you want me to add you to the reservation or not? ~ as funny as it sounds, it really is annoying as well. That started me thinking why that is such a New York behavior. Might not be just one reason but few of them maybe but the obvious one is Just because we have too many options. As wonderful as it is on one side, it’s also one of the biggest road blockers for having deeper relationships with people in the city. We always feel like there is a better plan out there. It’s like living in today but always thinking of tomorrow – insane miss of the moment.

Plus that FOMO: fear of missing out is one of the other triggers I feel like. What if I say yes to you and miss the other cooler thing because of that? We are constantly on the hunt for the better things without appreciating what we have next to us. While it is understandable with the intense life style of the city where everybody is trying to be more opportunistic but on the other side doesn’t it make our relationships as well as us a little superficial?

Add the fear of saying NO to the list as well ~ might not be the easiest thing to do in life sometimes but hey lets be honest and tell each other what we like to do and what not. It’s OKAY to be different, to feel different and have a different POV. If you don’t want to be somewhere with some people, just say it! It’s totally fine if you don’t feel like it. And guess what “No” is an enough answer and doesn’t require an explanation so you don’t need to justify your answer. Plus you don’t have to try to sugar code everything to look and sound nice. {You know me by now that I’m opposed to all artificial sweets including to all fake words as well:)} Just being ourselves and standing up for who we are is the most precious thing to me. I respect you for that!