This is a graphic detailing the stages of my relationship with Pinterest.

Don’t act like you’re such a good person because you don’t waste time virtually pinning stuff. Everybody has been seduced by the curiosity that oozes out of Pinterest. It’s because it’s easy and fun and quick. If we all took a few seconds and considered what we’re actually doing, it would most likely cease immediately. We’re all just a bunch of “adults” playing imaginary dress up on our imaginary boards.

And I’m perfectly okay with that.

Anyway, I don’t get how the rest of the platform works but the DIY boards are awesome. Sallie Mae still sucks the life out of me every month, so those board are like my hack for having cool stuff I can’t afford. Since I’m still in my 20s, I can get away with pretending it’s a hipster thing and I’m not actually poor–this is just how I choose to express my creative self.

Denial aside, there are some really cool things that you can do. And I just like putting stuff together and taking things apart.

It’s really fun when you drag someone else into it, because then they get excited and you can make fun of them for secretly liking Pinterest. (You know who you are.)

Basically you dip some yarn in nail polish remover and then tie it around the base of the neck of the bottle and set it on fire. In the instructions the chick says, NOTE: The bottle will be cut wherever you place the yarn, so make sure it is as straight as possible.

But did I listen? No.

Whatever, it still worked out. It helps to have someone with more patience than a 7-year-old, Mountain Dew addict around. You can lure them over with beer. When they’re halfway through theirs, pull out the yarn.

My next idea came from finding this box in the newsroom.

I considered going over to the nearest resale shop and try selling them to hipsters as vintage coasters. This probably would have worked too but who has time for that.

Normally I would have laughed at the box, tried to find someone younger to see if they knew what it was, realize I am the youngest one in the newsroom and then go sulk at my desk with my new retro floppy disk coaster. But thanks to Pinterest, I spent some more time entertaining frivolities.

If you need instructions for this one, you were probably that kid during arts and crafts time that would either eat all the glue or wasn’t allowed to use plastic scissors.

There’s just one last thing I want to say about Pinterest. I am a social media junkie. You know, the Internet, yeah that’s kinda my thing. It is much more important to me, however, to understand how these platforms work. On Facebook you’re there to stalk people from your past life and occasionally keep up with people you can’t bring yourself to call. Twitter is for news and funny people with ADD. Tumblr is for cats and Reddit is for people who need to talk constantly. But Pinterest, although a very social thing, doesn’t pressure me to follow people or care if people follow me. I just recently figured out you could comment on pins. But really, who cares? It’s not about that. The pinning and repinning isn’t a reward. It’s about sharing and playing in an imaginary world with other people.