Planning a Quality Vacation with Your Spouse

Sometimes a planned vacation with your partner is the best way to enjoy each other.

By Jo Ann Sheldon and Norma J. Heller

When you decide to take a vacation with your husband or wife, think about what you both like to do. Do you like to lie on the beach? Visit historical landmarks and museums? Hike? Eat in top restaurants? Choose a vacation that suits you both.

Types of VacationsDon't hesitate to negotiate when selecting your destination. While it is fine for each person to do his or her "own thing" for some part of every day, the best way to insure a great vacation is to pursue common activities. Be flexible-try something new if your partner is enthusiastic about it. Try to be understanding if your partner decides against that particular activity.

GuidelinesBefore you leave home, establish some guidelines for the vacation. For most couples the biggest complaint is that "the office" intrudes. Leave cell phones, laptop computers and briefcases at home. Don't give your telephone number to co-workers. Instruct your children to call only when necessary or at pre-determined times.

During the tripBegin the vacation with open minds. Be available for each other, open to each other's thoughts and desires. Vacationing is not the same as spending time at home. Think back to your honeymoon or a trip made before the children were born. What made that vacation so special? Although you can't re-create it, you can draw from the memories to shape this vacation.

Valuing your partnerRemember what it is that you love about your partner and celebrate these qualities together. Devote your energy to each other. Instead of reacting without thinking to a suggestion from your partner, discuss it with him or her. Make a conscious effort to please each other. As psychotherapist Wayne W. Dyer, author of 10 books including such bestsellers as Your Erroneous Zones, You'll See It When You Believe It, and Real Magic, says "You don't have to be right, just be kind."