The Equation For Boundaries

Boundaries are an act of kindness and self respect; they are significant in living a life of abundance. Unfortunately they are not inherited. Personal boundaries are guidelines and limits a person creates to identify safe, appropriate and permissible ways for others to behave towards them. Healthy boundaries are established with clarity surrounding what a person wants in accordance to their beliefs and values. They are consciously created, incorporated and managed throughout one’s life. The decision to create boundaries can be challenging because it requires making choices that may impact other peoples lives and in turn cause pain and confrontation to others. In my opinion, creating and setting boundaries is an act of self – love and is the opposite of being selfish and narcissistic.

When a person creates healthy boundaries, it encourages and invites others to respect another persons space. Being honest, up front and vulnerable is significant for change and growth, and emotional and spiritual self care. People who establish and execute healthy boundaries decide what and who to let in and what and who to keep out. They are resistant to emotional contagion and psychological manipulation. Mindful awareness of who does or who does not serve you well and then set appropriate boundaries and limit interaction with those who are not healthy to be around. Boundaries empower the self and promote space for one’s wellbeing. Many of us unfortunately have not been encouraged nor taught how and when to set boundaries. Teaching boundaries to our children is a gift we can provide.

When one feels overwhelmed and reactive, it is probably best to pause and reevaluate what boundaries may need to be created or redefined. There are periods in life where insecurity, fear, and anxiety perpetuate thoughts and challenge boundaries; however, if we stay true and work consciously towards embracing positive and healthy boundary setting, our mind, body and soul energy will maintain balance and harmony. There is meaning in challenge, struggle and pain, for it teaches us how to survive with grace and fortitude. It also gives the opportunity to establish and/or re-establish, evaluate and/or reevaluate boundary setting. When we give more than we receive, our bodies deplete, our stamina and resilience decreases and our sense of worth weakens. Setting healthy boundaries has a profound effect on empowering ourselves; therefore stimulating and promoting a balanced and harmonious environment. Sounds like perfection to me. What would it look or feel like for you to create boundaries? Why not surround ourselves with people who encourage our higher selves to show up and shine rather than being around those who dim our light. The bottom line, setting healthy boundaries takes courage and vulnerability; what is the alternative?