Month: July 2012

So a few posts ago I wrote about doing Camp NaNoWriMo this August so that I can not only finish my novel that I started in last November’s NaNoWriMo but also so that I can get my writing groove back. Although you might think that I wouldn’t have to do the same necessary steps to prepare for this that I did in November because at least this time I am not starting from scratch, that is far from the truth.

Even though I don’t have to come up with an outline and create character sketches I still have to get a handle on my time management. Not only am I just getting my bearings within my Master’s in Psychology program and but I am really trying to work on some freelance work and trying to pitch certain magazines and increase the success of my business, throw a novel in the mix along with the everyday fulltime job of being a mom. Not to mention, I have just thought of another business idea that has some real true potential to make me and my family some money and could launch a lot of things for me, and I have to start putting in the research for that quickly.

I already know what my issue is that I have to work on during this coming month of August, time management. I suppose this will mean a lot less TV and telephone (accept for my very necessary conversations with Ms. L. that tend to turn into brainstorming sessions) and a lot more late nights—and by late nights I mean one’s that are productive late nights and not me catching up on my TV. Thank goodness for my DVR. Well I have a lot of organizing of my time to go figure out and I hope that some of you out there click on the link in the post for CampNaNoWriMo and join in on the writing challenge with me. Tomorrow begins the rest of my novel. Yay!

I read a blog post the other day that asked the question ‘Is having something to prove a good enough reason to do something?’ When I read the post the blogger discussed how perhaps we should not use someone telling us that we can’t achieve something or someone’s negativity altogether to influence or motivate whether or not we in fact decide to go after what it is that we want. She stated that people pleasing was something not to get caught up in. Initially I felt that she might have a point to that statement and that people’s sheer passion for doing something should be enough to ‘just do it’ and that it shouldn’t take someone else telling us no or rejecting our passion for us to go at it full force.

But then I realized something. Isn’t that the nature of how dreams are realized, and how businesses are built, and how people are made to be successful? I mean of course you dream something and naturally you want to achieve that dream no matter what and when you start a business you hopefully are starting that business because it is something that you’ve always wanted to do. But if you listen to a lot of successful people talk about how they got there and how they accomplished their dreams and started their businesses, a lot of it had something to do with what someone told them they would never be able to do.

Think of how many singers and film stars were told no, and how many times they were told no, and how many people even told them that they were crazy to think they would ever really make it. Now think about how that just fired them up to going after that dream with even more force and more drive. Think about Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates and how many people told them they would never make it and that they would never see their dreams become a reality and how those words must have fueled the fire that was already lit underneath them.

I remember hearing an interview once about an entrepreneur going after their dream and starting their own company (can’t quite remember who at this exact moment) and when they were asked what made them go after their goal when all of the odds were stacked against them, their response was simply ‘someone told me I couldn’t have it’. It’s amazing what someone telling you NO will do for your drive and ambition to prove them wrong and get what you want in spite of all the odds stacked against you. I hate to be told NO but if I really think about it, when I do get to where I want to be in life, those No’s will be what made me so fiercely determined to prove everyone who said I couldn’t do it wrong.

The other night Ms. L. and I were talking about reality television. You know the usual, what train wrecks are worth watching and what is just simply too much drama even for us. We both talked about how we are not really ‘Reality TV show watchers’ even though there were some that had managed to reel us in over a period of time. I’ll give Ms. L. credit in the fact that she hasn’t been as reeled in as I have.

There was a time that if the caption about the TV show said reality I would instantly turn away and wouldn’t even give it a second look. But then I realized something that I think some people still have not caught onto yet. Reality TV is not truly Reality. I mean think about it, they have writers on Reality TV shows (why if the show is in fact unscripted as they try to convince us). Not only that but there is a whole lot of editing film to make the show’s end result look just real enough to not look like most other television shows and yet still fake enough to know that this much drama could not possibly happen this often to this person.

But the reality shows that I truly love the most are the one’s with a purpose at the end of it. You know, the competition one’s like America’s Next Top Model, Hell’s Kitchen, Master Chef, HGTV Design Star, Food Network Star, those types of shows. However, I have been thinking a lot lately about what a Reality TV show can do for a person who might be trying to make a name for themselves and isn’t having much luck at getting their name out there. If you think about it, these people (you know, the one’s who are at the center of all the drama) are actually smarter then we give them credit for.

Let’s take Snookie from Jersey Shore for example. If she ever decides to stop boozing it up and grows up (hopefully before her child gets here) and she decided that she wanted to start a new business, she doesn’t have to worry about getting her name out there, it already is. Everyone and anyone knows who she is and like her or hate her, she has made probably millions off of the drama that she is the center of. She could literally forge any type of career she wants all because of her stints on reality TV.

It just makes you wonder, just how easy could it be for any one of us to make the name for ourselves that we want. I’m in no way, shape, or form, interested in ever being a part of a reality show (not that I think anyway) but that is largely in part because I care way too much about what people think of me. But if I had the nerve, I can’t say that it wouldn’t be a consideration. Hell these days with the new phenomenon of web series on YouTube you could really start your own. I mean personally I think that there are way more talented people out here then the Snookies and Kardasians of the world that could stand to make a name for themselves. Reality could be the next new way that people can market and brand themselves and become the household name that they want to be. Would you ever consider starting or being a part of a reality show so everyone can know your name?

It’s starting to happen again. All of these different ideas and characters are circling around inside my head and trying to tell me all of their stories, ALL at once. Now I know what many writers may possibly be thinking. How could this possibly be a problem? In fact a lot of writers have the opposite problem, no ideas and no characters speaking to them.

Well the problem that presents itself is that I have yet to finish the novel that I started writing last November for National Novel Writing Month. I have no idea why I haven’t because it’s not as if I’ve lost interest in telling the stories of those characters. In fact I am very intrigued to see if the main character in that novel will end up how I once thought she might end up. It’s not as if she hasn’t been begging me to finish telling her story either, in fact I think she may just have some adjustments that could change a lot of what was going to happen.

My problem is that I am a serial story hopper. It’s not that I have never finished a novel. In fact I am actually a published author (although you wouldn’t know it due to my inability to do a better job at marketing myself—yet another thing I must work on sooner rather than later). I actually have another novel that is also completed that is currently in the hands of my editor now. However, if you had any idea of the novels I have already started and stopped because I had another story enter my head and another character that kept shouting at me to tell it, you would probably laugh at my lack of discipline.

That’s what it is, a lack of discipline to stick with one story from start to finish. But how do you silence the characters that come to you in the midst of telling another character’s story that has nothing to do with theirs? I mean you can’t completely ignore the ideas that come because if you lose them you might never get them back again. On the other hand feeding into the constantly flowing stream of ideas is the reason why I have at least 5 or 6 novels started but left unfinished.

I read one article that suggested writing down the ideas as they come and then setting them aside to finish the current project. The problem I have with that idea is that once I get started writing that idea out, then I start sketching the characters, then I start to outline the story and the setting. Next thing you know I’ve moved completely from one story to the next. So what am I going to do about it?

Well it seems that when I knew I was under the pressure of National Novel Writing Month I had no problem sticking to my one story. So NaNoWriMo is having this thing they call CampNaNoWriMo where they do the same thing they do in November, just in June and August as well. Since I’ve already missed June’s, I am going to do the one that they have in August.

Technically you are supposed to start a new novel from scratch but I think that I am going to use the one in August to finish the one I started last November. Perhaps that will give me some focus and discipline and then I can finally complete this novel before moving on to the next one. Who knows, I might just finish this one and move on to another one that I already started earlier and finish that one up too. Discipline is extremely key to a writer’s work because without it you would just be all over the place with more stories going on than any one person can handle. Kind of like me!

Seek to understand whatever you’re afraid of. That was one of the messages in a video message that I got in my email as being a part of the Tyler Perry Mailing list. He had a huge fear of flying so he sought out to learn everything that he could about airplanes and eventually became a pilot and started flying his own planes. Not only did he conquer and overcome his fear, but he took fear and rose above that fear (or should I say flew above it).

So I was sitting here trying to figure out what I was most afraid of. You know, not the little things like being afraid of bugs, or heights (which is not really a little thing because I am greatly afraid of heights), but the things that will halt me in my tracks of wherever it is I’m trying to go. I can’t really do much at this present moment in my life about my fear of being on a stage and doing any type of public speaking (which I truly believed kept me from ever pursuing a singing or acting career). But there is a fear that I do still have time to do something about.

I don’t know if you would characterize it as a fear of failure or a fear of actually succeeding, but either way that you phrase it, it is a huge problem. On the one hand there’s the part of me that would be devastated at giving it my absolute best, a hundred percent, and falling flat on my face, and on the other hand there is the part of me that is afraid that if I do give it my absolute best and I do succeed, then what happens if I can’t keep it up. I know what you’re all thinking. Nothing is ever going to go completely smooth all the time so that even if I do succeed then there is bound to be some down moments but it is the down moments that have me stuck, or rather the fear of them.

I’ve started to take a look at a lot of the business people, and writers, and moguls that I admire and aspire to learn from and as any of you might have guessed, Tyler Perry is definitely at the top of that list for me. He has proven that you can come from not so humble beginnings, and suffer horrendous things in your life and that even when no one else believes in you that you believing in you can really be enough. I’m never disappointed when I get an email from Tyler Perry’s Mailing list because his message is always just what I needed to hear. I guess there’s no way I can really succeed if I’m too busy being afraid to. So it’s either I let the fear win out over the success, or I succeed in spite of the fear. I really can’t have it both ways.

Like this:

It seems as if this week God is sending me all sorts of signs to lead me in the direction that I need to go. It’s as if every doubt that I have is getting answered and addressed each day of the week and leaving me with absolutely NO excuses. The other day I was going over just how many things were holding me back from just diving right in and then Ms. L. tells me about her 11 year old son starting his business with probably more limitations than I have, and yet here I am holding myself back.

This morning I was thinking of all of the big dreaming that I keep doing and wondering just how much of what I want to accomplish is attainable. I mean just what are my possibilities of making all of this stuff actually happen. I was honestly going over the list of life goals that I made a long, long time ago in my head and wondering just what it was that I should cross off because it just wouldn’t be possible. Then I heard a remarkable story on the news this morning about a man who had just climbed the tallest mountain in the world, Mount Kilimanjaro. Now I know what you’re thinking. What’s so special about that, surely he’s not the first person to do that? That would be a true statement, but I believe that he is the fist person to do it with no legs.

Spencer West was born with a genetic disorder in which his lower spine was poorly developed and left his legs permanently crossed and essentially useless. By the time he was 5 years old he had to have his legs amputated to just below the pelvis area. The doctors told him and his parents that he would never be able to sit up let alone walk and that he would never be a functioning member of society.

Not only did he defy what the doctors limited him to but he has gone on to do public speaking, candidly telling his story in hopes of inspiring others that anything is possible. He works with a charity called Free The Children and the climb up the mountain was a campaign that he called Redefine Possible and helped to raise almost $750,000 for the charity.

Now as I am watching and listening to him speak and being so inspired by his story, I am wondering how can anything on my list of goals be considered impossible when this man, who has every reason to think that his options are limited, doesn’t see that there is anything that is not possible. It is completely ironic how the stories that you need to hear the most, the one’s that truly will inspire you, always come right at the exact moment that you need to hear them.

I suppose that it’s not really about my big dreams and goals being impossible, it’s more so about what my definition of possible really is. Everything is not possible for every individual, but once again, this is not about what someone else deems as being possible when it comes to my ambitions. It’s only about my own interpretation of just how far I can go and what I know is not impossible. It’s kind of hard to think that there is anything that you can’t do once you see a man with no legs climb the tallest mountain in the world.

I think that anyone who knows me knows that I don’t mind learning valuable lessons from children. Sometimes the people who show us whether or not we are moving in the right direction or whether or not we’re just stuck standing still are the children that are a part of our lives, whether it be our own or someone else’s child.

My best friend Ms. L has an 11 year old cinematic genius in the making. It is amazing to think that at his young age he can make his own movies, cut and edit film, put together book trailers and produce graphic artwork as if it were as easy as breathing. He is truly a gifted little boy and Ms. L told me last night that he has finally decided that he wants to make a go of it as a real official business so that he can make the money he needs to afford the more high tech things that he needs to go even further in his adventures of film making.

I mean it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s so talented because his mom is essentially the most gifted writer that I know. What amazes me even more is the fact that in one night he managed to make this decision, create him a website (a freebie one—he is a kid after all), create business cards and rehearse his spiel that would land him his first of many clients (which he got the next day by the way). In one night. I am 32 and have been working at making my dream a reality for the last decade or so and I am still not as far along as I should be. It really made me (and Ms. L too) think ‘what the hell am I doing and why am I wasting so much time?’

I keep getting in my own way, so much so that I’m sometimes not even able to recognize that that is what I am doing. I tell myself that I will get rejected for an article before I even bother to try sending it off. I tell myself that no one will like the story or characters I have created before actually giving it a real shot. I constantly tell myself all of the reasons why I can’t do something without seeing the most important reason why I can, because it was something that I was meant to do.

I believe that everyone is talented at something and even if there are a hundred writers out there who are just as talented as I am, it is only me who can write the stories that I was meant to write and who can tell them in only the way that I can. I’m no Maya Angelou, or Terry McMillan, or Alice Walker, but I am Jimmetta Carpenter and just as I can not write the way that they do, they can not write the way that I do either.

Ms. L.’s son has so much belief in himself that he is not letting the fact that he’s 11 and has no real money of his own to fund his business stop him. He’s just diving right in and handling whatever hiccups happen along the way. My God if an 11 year old can have that frame of mind about his business then why on earth can’t I. My best friend’s son doesn’t realize the lesson that his leap of faith has taught me but one day he will realize that he just showed me that the only person that is really in my way, is me.