Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

Yup. Strangely(?), men--despite being approximately half the population of this entire planet--are so remarkably uniform in nature, body, character, and mind, that a sample size of 22 actually yield staggeringly useful data from which we can draw totally-real-and-not-at-all-pulled-out-of-anyone's-arse conclusions.

bunner:"Excuse me, but this doesn't seen to be about, interest or include me!"

Now stop.

Focus on her.

Rinse and repeat.

Heh. My wife complains that I never talk to her. The problem is that every time I try, she finds a way to direct the conversation to be about her the first chance she gets. And she's pretty good at it, too; she found a way to turn what I was saying about the properties of thermistors into how she didn't have anything to wear for my niece's upcoming wedding.

Weaver95:Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

Yup. Strangely(?), men--despite being approximately half the population of this entire planet--are so remarkably uniform in nature, body, character, and mind, that a sample size of 22 actually yield staggeringly useful data from which we can draw totally-real-and-not-at-all-pulled-out-of-anyone's-arse conclusions.

albatros183:Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

Also, while men may have trouble reading female eye signals, pics of her tits are easier to interpret.

albatros183:Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

Weaver95:albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

Weaver95:albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist:Weaver95: albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

Gergesa:Weaver95: albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

Weaver95:albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

I think she knew what she was doing dammit.

then give her sex or clip her from your life. choices are simple, play games IRL or don't

When your mom is angry at you, she screams. When your sister is being picked on too much, she cries. Grandma will come at you with a wooden switch when she's dissatisfied with your behavior. There isn't a lot you need to read in your family member's eyes in those sorts of situations. When you break your mom's favorite part off the miniature statue of David in the living room, she'll let you know exactly how she's feeling about it.

There's no "It's fine," with an implied soliloquy about how rough she's got it.

I used to flip out on family members, but that would unleash the crazy.Now, if I'm upset I prefer to hold my tongue and think about it. Sometimes I need to work out my feelings, get over it and it's a non-issue. Sometimes I work it out and approach the issue rationally, when I'm less likely to flip out and get emotional.

Now, there's this guy I like and we've gone out a few times, and he's said we'd hang out again (giving specific days "next Sunday" etc) and when I've suggested we hang out, he says absolutely, but when it comes to the date, he's said he will confirm with me and he never does.I've never asked him about it partly because I was pretty pissed at the time and I don't want to come across as a crazy person who would get overly upset about being blown off by someone who I wasn't exactly dating. And now it seems too late.I guess my point is, I don't understand men. And part of the reason women say "fine" is because they don't want to come across as a crazy person, because even they know they might be overreacting.

albatros183:Weaver95: albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

I think she knew what she was doing dammit.

then give her sex or clip her from your life. choices are simple, play games IRL or don't

Not so fast. I'm always weary of non sequitur-hungry reporters latching onto research that just happens to connect to mindless, social stereotypes (and the researchers that want them to, in order to help their funding).

- The original study that they based their work on (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453011002332) had a population size of 39 (almost double). They found men got the male emotions right 76% of the time, and women's emotions correct 70% of the time. Again, this does not follow: "Men May Not Understand Women After All". Perhaps a statistically significant result, but not substantial (small effect size, I'd guess). Interestingly, that study was looking at how a particular drug increases men's errors in evaluating negative emotions in other men, but not women.

- How do WOMEN do when evaluating both women and men?!?!?

- "Evolutionary theory" can be used to explain pretty much anything. Evolutionarily-speaking, humans need to be able to read each others' emotions - men AND women. If a man can't read a woman's emotions, he can't mate, species dies out. Blah, blah, blah...

- Depending upon how the female data came out, another way of framing this result might be: "Men understand women just as well as women understand men. However, they are exceptional at interpreting negative emotions in other men." Not surprisingly, you can make an explanation for this based on "evolutionary theory" too.

- A quick aside: They painted a very simplistic notion of the amygdala in the article. Lookup "Kluver-Bucy syndrome" (bilateral amygdala damage) to see just how simplistic it was.

Weaver95:albatros183: Weaver95: albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

I think she knew what she was doing dammit.

then give her sex or clip her from your life. choices are simple, play games IRL or don't

Bedstead Polisher:Now, there's this guy I like and we've gone out a few times, and he's said we'd hang out again (giving specific days "next Sunday" etc) and when I've suggested we hang out, he says absolutely, but when it comes to the date, he's said he will confirm with me and he never does.I've never asked him about it partly because I was pretty pissed at the time and I don't want to come across as a crazy person who would get overly upset about being blown off by someone who I wasn't exactly dating. And now it seems too late.I guess my point is, I don't understand men. And part of the reason women say "fine" is because they don't want to come across as a crazy person, because even they know they might be overreacting.

You never once sent him a message that said "Hey missed you yesterday. What happened?" You would have either gotten blown off again (which is an answer in its own way) or you could be consoling him in bed over the tragic loss of his pet guinea pig, who tragically died in a skydiving accident on Sunday. Next time you run into him, just ask. It'll put your mind at ease and prevent you from idly reliving this experience every so often for the rest of your life as women are wont to do.

This seems like the "Five Conversations" thing all over again. Supposedly, women have five conversations going at once: The one they're having, the one they're AVOIDING having, the subtext, the body language, and something else I can't remember. Guys can't do that. Guys evolved for focus, for being able to completely concentrate on one thing for an extended period. Consequently, though, we can only have one, MAYBE two things going at a time. There may be some guys out there who can pull it off, but I've never met one. Whenever women feel the urge to say "He can't be THAT dense!" Yes, yes we totally can be.

And men: The "Oh, really? Then what? You're so right. I told you that biatch was crazy!" routine is the exact opposite of useful, since it's neither improving our understanding nor teaching women to be more straightforward. It's the conversational equivalent of faking an orgasm: It gives the other side what they want, but it ensures that the next time won't be any better. It's covering melanoma with a bandage, and it only leads to more problems down the line.

The trouble, though, is that the complexity is not a learned skill. You either have it or you don't, and men don't. Ladies, we will NEVER be able to communicate that way, so stop expecting us to. It will only lead to disappointment. You can, in theory, learn to be more straightforward, though, and it would be a great kindness if you would. Is it fair to put the solution on you? No. However, you are the only ones who are CAPABLE of changing in a direction that will actually solve the problem.

Weaver95:Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

...Case in point. Not saying you specifically need to send topless photos of yourselves (but please feel free), but that level of communication is one that even we can grasp. There's no mistaking THAT message.

A major flaw with this study is that all of the test subjects were male. How well would women do reading men?

"His eyes suggest a sort of whistful yearning and he's almost certainly thinking about pistachio ice cream and sex. I know that look because that's the same look of every guy I've dated. I'm going to go with hunger? And desire, but leaning toward horniness. I should call Michael and remember to get bread when I pick up that ice cream."

WhippingBoy:I've got an hour long loop of "uh-huh", "I see", and "the nerve of that biatch" recorded on my phone. In some cases (e.g. when she's doesn't even have the courtesy to come into the same room as me to "talk" to me), I just turn it on and get back to doing important things.

That would make an awesome iPhone app. It listens on the microphone and waits for pauses and things that sound like questions, then adds the occasional comment in your voice.

Weaver95:albatros183: Weaver95: albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

I think she knew what she was doing dammit.

then give her sex or clip her from your life. choices are simple, play games IRL or don't

Nothing is ever that simple.

She's just looking for validation. The hornier you get, the happier she is. I had a cock-tease friend for 5 years, and it didn't stop unil I said, "Look, you're being wildly disrespectful. If you actually want to be my friend, you need to quit it." After hating/wanting her for so. long, we became friends. Six months later, we started dating, and were together for a year and half. (Second) Worst mistake of my life. Never ever date an attention whore. You can't possibly validate them, they need to grow up and do it for themselves.

Gentlemen, have respect for yourselves, and have respect for your own emotional needs (emotional logic?). You'll be happier, and NICE women will fall over themselves to get to you.

Hermione_Granger:The article pretty much makes the point that men simply haven't evolved.

I concur.

Have you ever been around a group of close friends (all men)? Guarantee they can have an entire conversation without you have any idea of what it is they're talking about. Women just do a very poor job of conveying what they're thinking.

Last Man on Earth:And men: The "Oh, really? Then what? You're so right. I told you that biatch was crazy!" routine is the exact opposite of useful, since it's neither improving our understanding nor teaching women to be more straightforward. It's the conversational equivalent of faking an orgasm: It gives the other side what they want, but it ensures that the next time won't be any better. It's covering melanoma with a bandage, and it only leads to more problems down the line.

While true, I see sex a little differently, since it should be an enjoyable experience for both parties. In the vast majority of my conversations, there is no pleasure to be gained whatsoever. You really have to turn up the empathy sensors in your brain to make the hundredth discussion about proper sock storage engaging in any real way. "Well I care about this person a great deal, and the alignment of socks is extremely important to her... Ergo I care about socks in a drawer." So while it may be analogous to faking an orgasm, it would be the good kind where the woman has some medical problem that makes her incapable of orgasm.

He feels good because he thinks she feels good. She feels good because he feels good.

And everybody finishes their business with the least amount of hassle involved.

LL316:Hermione_Granger: The article pretty much makes the point that men simply haven't evolved.

I concur.

Have you ever been around a group of close friends (all men)? Guarantee they can have an entire conversation without you have any idea of what it is they're talking about. Women just do a very poor job of conveying what they're thinking.

Or it could be because, men tend to have closer ties and common experiences with other men, you missed the emphasis "Have you ever been around a group of close friends (all men)?..."

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist:You never once sent him a message that said "Hey missed you yesterday. What happened?" You would have either gotten blown off again (which is an answer in its own way) or you could be consoling him in bed over the tragic loss of his pet guinea pig, who tragically died in a skydiving accident on Sunday. Next time you run into him, just ask. It'll put your mind at ease and prevent you from idly reliving this experience every so often for the rest of your life as women are wont to do.

Good point. We work together (different departments) so we see each other often but rarely converse without people present. I do need to just get over it and ask what's up. At least to answer the question, so I will get over it. He did text me to wish me a happy birthday two weeks after he blew me off and I had to fight the "Oh, so you DO still have my number" response. I need to stop being attracted to guys who give me mixed signals.

Weaver95:Gergesa: Weaver95: albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

I think she knew what she was doing dammit.

You are easily distracted.

Let's just say that they are real and they are magnificent.

Weaver95:albatros183: Weaver95: Sometimes I think women do it to us on purpose. My one friend knows that Wednesday night is game night. She knows the approx time I start the show (tabletop rpg). So last week she starts asking me about her decision to get her nipples pierced. That was it...my concentration tanked for the rest of the night. Then she sends me a "good morning" picture of the results. Took me half the day to focus on work after that.

So I think women understand men very well and just f*ck with us on purpose.

should have just had her come over, two brains are better than one and if X is greater than two must be better, what could go wrong?

She kept texting that she was really very sensitive and um...perky. Like I said, there went my concentration for about 2 days.

I think she knew what she was doing dammit.

Weaver, I concur, she wants you, and if you wait too long you will miss out.

I once listened to like a forty minute diatribe from one woman, complaining endlessly about some other woman's actions, and made the mistake of asking "So why don't you just call her up and explain this to her like a rational adult?" I've only made that mistake once.

I read that and immediately thought, "Whoa! You said that?" -- and I'm sure I'm not the only guy who had that reaction. And that kind of sums it up right there. We've all learned (or quickly will) that rational suggestions are about as appreciated as telling a woman she's fat.

./"You know what might work? Cutting back on the Twinkies."//"What? I'm just trying to help."

There is also a fallacy that more communication is somehow better. Studies concluding that women speak more during a given period and are therefore better communicators fail to measure comprehension and value.

If you take 100 words to describe something that can be said with less ambiguity in 75 words, are you a better communicator? Well, test the listeners to see if they got the information accurately. If the answer is no, it may not be their fault. :)

Secondly, that and what you are communicating about may not be of interest to the listener. The assumption buried in the Salon article and others is that the men are wrong and the women are right. Again, you have to measure this against some sort of output even if it is something vague like a general indicator of happiness.

Try changing the periods on the sentence to question marks and then try answering the question: Women are better communicators than men.

birdbrain777 Weaver, I concur, she wants you, and if you wait too long you will miss out.

I disagree. I think she's a cocktease and enjoys playing with you.

Although there's merit in the idea that she wants to be farkbuddies. Clear that up with her, Weaver. And if that's what she wants and if you're up for that kind of relationship then you should invite her over to spend the night. Otherwise ask her to that that shiat to hotornot.com or whatever the equivalent is these days.

Being a farkbuddy is like renting a really awesome apartment. A young person's game, a fun experience, but it hurts when it's time to move on (which comes oh so fast).