Stephen Hawkins To Be Redesigned By Sir Jonathan Ive

In a joint announcement from Cambridge University and Apple, Stephen Hawking is to be redesigned by Sir Jonathan Ive. “iHawkin”, as he is to be known, will benefit from a complete look and feel overhaul and be revoiced by ‘Siri’, Apple’s digital assistant.
Mr Ive explained, “Stephen contacted me and felt like he needed to be updated to reflect modern times and a slicker design concept. I’m more than happy to help and look forward to the challenge.”
Mr Hawking echoed Mr Ive's comments, “ I AM VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING RID OF THIS CREEPY VOICE - I’M SORRY DAVE, I CAN’T LET YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW - SEE IT SOUNDS LIKE THE COMPUTER FROM SPACE ODYSSEY. I’M SICK OF IT. IT MAKES IT VERY DIFFICULT WITH THE LADIES IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. THIS WHEELCHAIR IS RUBBISH TOO, ABSOLUTELY NO MISSILES OR BOXING GLOVES ON A SPRING.”
In the deal Mr Hawking will undergo a maintenance upgrade every six months and an complete overhaul every 2 years. iHawking 2.0 will be his first reinvention which will introduce new features such as an brushed chrome exoskeleton, a retina display, Siri’s voice and an unspecified number of USB ports. Mr Hawking will also work in the Genius Bar of an undisclosed Apple Store for 1 month of every year.