​Today we are going to discuss what it takes to be a decent person. Not a saint. Not a great woman. Not an inspirational man. Just what it takes to be a decent human being.

​Now before we talk about how to be a decent person we first have to define what a decent person is. To put it simply a decent person is someone that does more good than bad in their life. If they did any less good then they would cease to be a decent person and would slip to being a bad person.

We have too many people that are confusing being a decent person with being a good person. Just because you are not a terrible human being does not mean that you are a good person. If you are going through life doing just the bare minimum then you can not seriously believe you are a good person.

Raising your child, paying child support, and going to work are not something a good person would brag about but definitely something a decent person would mention all the time. Having five children with five different people in most morality system would not make you a good person. Wanting an award for not being a racist or a sexist are not things one should feel the need to point out to others.

If we are really honest does anyone truly care about even being a decent person. In order to care about being a decent person you would first have to care about the opinion and views of others about yourself. The under 30 generation definitely does not care what anyone thinks of their behavior. If we are honest many baby boomers and gen xers don’t care what others think about them either.

People make up their own rules about their behavior. When was the last time you heard someone say that they were a bad person? They might say it when they are drunk or feeling pitiful when talking to their significant other but almost no one goes around saying they are a bad person.

We have seen people kill children, their children, spouses, puppies, and kittens and not think they are a bad person. We have millions of people in the country who do not want to work to give every American being basic health care but they would swear they were good people.

There are people that have sexually assaulted dozens and beat their spouse yet people say they are still a decent person. We put more people in prison, majority of which are minorities, than any country in the world yet we believe we are a great nation.

There is a reason so few actually believe in the concept of good. Good is what you believe it is and everyone has a different definition that is personally skewed. If that is the case then how exactly do you behave as a decent person.

The answer is really quite simple. If you think about others and do right by them just a little bit more than you do about your self then at the very least you will be a decent person. For most people that is easier said than done. A lot of people have to go through a lot of things to get to that point.

It will probably take a lot of forgiveness and a lot of love something most people are in short supply but individually we can all get there if we try. The first step is to get to a place where we say what we are as a person. After that it easy.

by Gray Graham

​Twas the night before Christmas, and all over the internet, a lot of people were stirring especially the single women. Never been married, single mothers, and divorcees. Most of the year they proclaim how happy they are, but around December 25th something they deem important seems to be missing.

​Bad satire aside, I do not mean to make light of something that for a lot of women is a very important. For a lot of single women it is the most important thing. Christmas is the ultimate reminder that you are by yourself and alone.

There is no substitute for being married with children. You either are or you are not. No amount of family and friends is going to change that. Christmas for a lot of women means time with your husband and your children. Without that many women feel very lost.

Now if you are a woman that feels alone throughout the year, the anxiety of being single goes up a thousandfold during the holiday season. Every time you see a couple together, someone tells you their Christmas plans with their family, or someone asks you your plans for the holidays, a great sadness come over you.

It doesn’t help that you see Christmas movie after movie of how a woman finds true love during the holidays. The perfect man of her dreams swoops in to save her from the bottomless pit of loneliness that is her life.

Even when you log onto social media, you see post after post of someone complaining about being lonely. They hope that someone, anyone, wants to snuggle with them just to escape the cold of winter. Just a moment to forget how lonely they are.

The worst part is that people keep telling you that some man is going to find you and make you his wife. as long as you keep the faith. It is the same story year, after year, after year.

I don’t wish to be the bearer of bad news, but there isn’t going to be a husband waiting for you under the Christmas tree when you wake up Christmas morning. There will not be a Christmas miracle husbands popping up across the country. Marriage doesn’t work that way. If you are lonely when you are single, you are still going to be lonely if you are married.

If we are honest many of the women that want a husband during Christmas are the same women that do not have the time or do not have a need to be married they rest of the year. At Christmas they are too caught up on the idea of magically being married instead of what it takes to be a wife. It is easy to marry but it is hard for most people to be married. It is even harder for most to be married and happy. The majority of people failed at marriage every day.

Instead of being caught up on the idea of getting a husband for Christmas, you should be thinking about enjoying the life you have today. If you are a mother then your primary focus should be raising your children. If you are without children then you should spend time getting to know yourself.

The truth is that everyone is not going to get married. As you get older, the chances of you getting married goes down. The more times you get married the chances of you staying married goes down. Marriage is not something that just happens especially as you get older. Are there people that get married and find true love later in life? Sure there are and I know a few ladies that got married later in life and then had children. This however is the exception and not what happens normally.

The hard truth is that some people are just never going to get married and for a lot of different reasons. It doesn’t make their lives less meaningful. You are not less of a woman if you have never been married or never had any children. You are still a woman and still as beautiful and any other woman God created. Not having a husband does not take away from this truth.

by Gray and Teal Graham

​There is a lot going on in the world today and the way many people deal with it is to simply to ignore it and focus on their families. It is a little overbearing when you see so much going on and can do nothing to prevent it. You want people to be better but you see that very few people know what better is let alone have a desire to be better. It’s much easier to just go with the flow instead of trying to go against the current.

​One of the reasons we started Grandcrest (the business that owns Grandposts) was to provide inspiration to others to make their lives a little better. You might be surprised how good it makes some people feel to read a recipe that they like, hear a mother talk about a problem their child is having, say something everyone loves really isn’t that good, or hear a man speaking the Word of God day after day, week after week.

I know nothing I do is going to make the world a better place. The evil might change but it will never go away. The nature of the world is to be wicked and it will forever be this way. What we can do is offer our love and support to those that wish to have it. We can cry with you, fight with you, sometimes make it better, and other times we can pray with you.

This year has been extremely challenging for us as we have had to handle a lot of life’s pits and valleys while helping others. It could just be us, but it seems like people have become a lot more wicked and bitter over the years. Rumors and lies are given the same validity as truth and facts. I suspect this is because of the internet where any statement can be spread across the world at the speed of light and how people embrace scandal more than inspiration.

You may have noticed that we no longer work with people we did in the past. Some decided that they didn’t really want to serve God the way they thought they did because it got in the way of their sinful desires. Some realized that our desire to help people was not just a sales pitch to make money. Some discovered that talking about God was not a way to pick up women. Some decided that they just didn’t like me because I am just too preachy and talk about right and wrong too much. Others lives just changed and they simply don’t have the time or resources to help like they did in the past.

Whatever the reason we have decided that going forward Grandcrest will be a family driven business where Gray and Teal will be the driving forces of everything we do with the support of our family. To truly realize everything we want to do in service of God takes a certain level of dedication and we are dedicated to that cause.

Grandcrest is not only our mission in life; it is also our career. It is how we take care of our family and provide for their needs. We have to make sure that we are working hard to gather resources to help people as well as ourselves. This is our business.

We are going to do our very best to continue to offer you our love and support and we hope to provide inspiration that will make your lives just a little bit better if you are struggling with the perils of the world.

Please keep us in your prayers and thank you for your love and support.

by Gray Graham

​We are long past the time where saying I am not a racist is enough. In 1817 saying I am not a racist was a revolutionary thing. Saying I am not a racist was groundbreaking in 1917. It is now 2017 and you are going to have to do a lot more than say you are not a racist in the United States today if you want to be opposed to racism in America.

​Hopefully the first thing you notice about what I just said is that it has now been over 200 years since the founding of the United States of America and we are still talking about racism as if it is a new topic. Some people say that they don’t understand that racism still exist today. Apparently many believe that since we took down the Jim Crow signs, gave a few people a position, and allowed a few to earn some money, then racism died for everyone else suffering today.

In spite of the overwhelming behemoth of evidence and data, there are people that will tell you that discrimination is not real. An unjust criminal justice system is not real. Impoverished neighborhoods are not real. Gentrification is not real. Failed neighborhood schools are not real. Inadequate health care is not real. Biased laws are not real. Nothing that shows the great racial chasm in the United States of America is real.

Instead of facing this evil and working to change it, we get the responses of shut up about it or well I am not racist and what can I do about it to pleas for help. Most of the responses we received today when we ask for help have to do with electing a leader that white supremacists love and receiving threats from the authorities or our employers.

The United States has always been a country built on the idea of keeping white males in power. Throughout our history any challenge to white male authority has been crushed. Today instead of just out right destroying the opposition, they find one of our own and just have them repeat the same hateful message and color it as being diverse because it came from just one of us out of millions. It worked in preventing the slaves from knowing they were free and it works today.

So no you do not get a pass for simply saying you are not a racist if you do nothing else to end racism in America because whether you are a racist or not, if you are not actively working to end it then you are benefiting from it every single day of your lives.

And before you say you don’t, there is plenty of research that clearly demonstrates that white Americans know that it is better to be white than any other race and they would not give it up for anything else. Even when you are biracial or appear to be biracial your life is easier than someone that does not.

Racism is not going to change in America until there are as many people actively opposing racism as there are people actively engaging in racism. Being passive is not an option that is going to usher in change in America.

So if you want to end racism and not just say you are not a racist then you are going to have to actively oppose racism in every area of your life. That includes your family and friends that are racist. That includes your co-workers that are racists. That includes the candidates you vote for that are racists. That includes the businesses that you give your money that are racists. That included your pastor and church leaders that are racists. You have to make opposition to racism part of your life.

Until you do this then you are not doing a single thing to end this hate that continues to destroy the lives of people and their daily struggle. Over the past few years it has become abundantly clear that many Americans are completely oblivious to the struggles of others and I fear nothing is going to change that anytime in the near future.

Recently I reached out to speak with local artist and creative LaReign Storm about her take on relationships. We see a lot of people talking about relationships so I thought it would be nice to get the take of someone that gets to use the hashtag #finewomenfriday.

​When she heard the topic of relationships come up one day on Twitter she had the urge to speak. It moved her to see so many people that have given up on the ideal of love. The ideal of love seems so foreign to so many people that they have completely given up on the ideal of being in a relationship.It is hard to be loved when you don’t think love is possible.

One thing about relationships is that often they are told from a personal perspective. Depending on where we are in our lives is how we think about relationships. If you have been married a few years then you probably never think about relationships. If you have been single forever then all you think about are relationships and how to get into one.

So many people in our society are caught up in why they are not in a relationship and what someone needs to do to be in a relationship with them. Since very few people are going to go out of their way to make another person happy there are many lonely people in the world searching for love.

Even though relationship problems are something that everyone faces, it does becomes clear under close scrutiny that African Americans have unique challenges that others do not face; Storm believes this is due to the fact that over generations many African Americans have grown up in hurtful situations. This leaves them guarded against falling in love and wearing masks to prevent getting hurt again and again.

We often talk about how African American women suffer when it comes to love but we rarely speak about the hurt that African American men suffer. The idea of love in the African American community has become so warped that many do not even know what love is therefore they are not able to give or receive it from others. For many see love and caring in African American men as a sign of weakness therefore it is something these men have learned to hide all their lives.

We then talked about why people today talk about relationships so much. She believes it is because people want to be loved and cherished by someone but they don’t believe there is someone out there that will actually love them. People spend a lot of time trying to figure out why relationships go so wrong and how they can fix them so they can be happy.

Storm doesn’t believe that you should go into a relationship with marriage being the ultimate goal. She believes you should just take it one day at a time without the pressure of labels just the desire to be together and get to know each other.

Today people go into marriages for the wrong reasons. It seems people get married for any reason except love. People focus too much on achieving their idea of what a perfect spouse would be but leave love out of the marriage equation.

Storm like a lot of us would like to see people together and happy without the pressure or feeling they have to be in a relationship. With that said though there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship and feeling loved because we all need love and romantic relationships are just one of the many ways we are loved.

Relationships are just part of our lives, it is not our entire life so if you can not find a romantic love it is okay to be alone too.

I know a lot of my brothers and sisters are upset today but we are going to discuss math so that if you want to change things then you can start the process of doing work to foster that change.

​This illustration is chart of the composition by population of the United States of America as of 2010. It is a little different today but basically it is still in this range. The part that is circled in red is the largest single group in America. As this group goes so does the rest of the country.

So if you want something to change in America you have to get the majority of this group to change. The people in this group do not hold the same beliefs as the other groups on a variety of important topics especially when it comes to civil rights. They don’t care about the things that are important to the other groups.

There are people that mistakenly believe that all the other groups complaining can change the hearts of that group in the red circle with their Facebook posts and tweets. The truth is that they simply don’t care or they oppose the things that you are complaining about.

The other truth is that not even all the people in the other groups care about civil rights. They consistently put individual wants in front of the needs of the group most of the time for just a few dollars.

Right now we are caught in the middle of a culture war among White Americans. The needs of non-White Americans is of no concern to the majority of them. So your complaining about racism, discrimination, voting rights, police brutality, etc are falling on deaf ears.

So today some of you are going to have to decide if you are going to actually work with others to try and make things better for everyone or are you going to focus on making as much money as you can and looking out just for yourself because you can’t do both. If you want things to get better it is going to cost you a lot of blood, tears, and money.

by Gray Graham

​There has been a great many important and concerning stories all over the world this week. Some of them frightening enough to give people a feeling of hopelessness and to began pondering whether or not we are in the beginnings of the apocalypse. However despite all this people have decided to have a debate about men wearing male rompers.

​Now let’s set the record straight on this topic. Men wearing an article of clothing similar to a romper is nothing new. Call it overalls, pantsuits, coveralls, or a short set, there have always been men who have worn these things. I know for a lot of people anything that happened before 2000 is long forgotten ancient history, but some of us know of a world before the internet.

But the real issue isn’t that male rompers are something the new. The real issue is that for a lot of people male rompers are not masculine and definitely not something an alpha male would wear. A lot of people are mistakenly thinking it is men that are upset about this but in fact it is women that are in a panic.

Over the past few years it has been cool to talk about those people that don’t subscribe to traditional gender roles. Not a month goes by that a media outlet doesn’t celebrate someone that in the past would have considered an outcast of society but are now a champion for the queer folk among us.

It is a great thing when humans are treated like human beings with human rights. But what about those people that still follow the natural order of human behavior that keeps the human species going. If you are a woman in search of a manly man then you might have some concerns with the shifts of male behavior in our society.

Many people say that women love a man that can get in touch with his feminine side, but this has never been the case with the women I have spoken. There have always been some women that love a man that can put on make up, do his hair, wear a dress, and flaunt around in lingerie like her but this is not most women.

There is still a large group of women that want to be a traditional woman and they want a traditional man. They don’t want a man that gets pedicures and manicures. They don’t want a man that wears mascara and lip gloss. They don’t want a man that flat combs his beard. Heck they don’t even want a fashionista that wants to be a super model.

I know these things might upset some but people are allowed to like what they like. If a woman wants to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen while her husband provides and protects her then that is her right. Just because you want to get your freaky freak on doesn’t mean that everyone woman does or should.

The men that I know could not care less about what clothes another man is wearing. Most probably are glad to see a man wearing something feminine because he knows that is a turn off for beta women so it is less competition for the best women out there. We have always seen men wear things that make people do a double take from bikini briefs, to shagging pants, to skinny jeans, to man skirts, to halter tops, to I better stop now.

Just like any other fashion trend just share your opinions and keep it moving. That trend just might not be for you. Doesn’t mean you are right or wrong. It just means it is not for you. The beauty of life is that it doesn’t have to be for you but may be perfect for someone else.

by Gray Graham

​Unless you have been living under a rock for the past year, you might have noticed that a lot of white people, mainly white men, are not happy with the state of America. From sea to shining sea, from coast to coast, across ideologies; a lot of white people are extremely angry about the changing America.

​Of course this is nothing new and started long before one Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States. This resentment started with the Civil Rights Act.

The passing of the Civil Rights Act was the signal that things were about to change in America. It was no longer acceptable to blatantly discriminate against people because of who they were. That's why Ronald Reagan’s “It's Morning in America” was such a hit and you will be hard pressed to find a white person that does not absolutely love Ronald Reagan. It harkened back to a time when people knew their place and white America was in complete control.

But those days are over now. The lie of the melting pot has been discredited. People who traditionally had no voice are now standing up and changing what it means to be American. Of course the white males that traditionally were in power are not happy about this change.

And it is not just conservatives and Republicans that feel this way either. There are plenty of white liberals that are every bit as racist as any KKK, hood wearing, Southern conservative. Over the past week I have seen liberals attack women with sexist behavior, call a civil rights icon an Uncle Tom, and a group of white women with no women of color present celebrate how diverse they were. I am not even mentioning two old white men running for president that are getting the overwhelming support of white males.

For generations non-white Americans have been told loud and clear that the white majority does not really consider them Americans. We are not considered conservatives, we are not considered progressives, we are not considered women, we are not considered part of the working class, and we are not considered intelligent. To the white majority we are just considered other.

For the white majority as long as they have a few colored faces in their spaces then it means that they can not possibly be racist. When I say a few, most of the time I mean one. As long as there is just one colored face, then they have achieve diversity. Doesn't matter if the color is African, Latino, Asian, or Native American.

Luckily for America there are enough white women that reject this hate and join with people of color in changing this America. See if you are a white woman that cares more about your intelligence than you do your sex appeal then you are not much use to white males especially if you are a woman that speaks your mind and speaks up for your rights.

The truth is that America is not changing but has changed. It changed years ago. The days where a white majority fought amongst themselves for the soul of the country are over. Today women and people of color are the decision makers. In spite of what white males want, the former minorities are changing America for the better.

These minority groups are now, slowly but surely, obtaining economic and academic power so in a few generations they will be equals on that front also. But if you think that the white majority is going to willingly leave their white fantasy world to face the realities of the world today you are sadly mistaken. We have seen many times that many of these sexist racists will reject change until their grave.

Instead they will try to control the narrative that they are still in control and will even find minorities that will tell them how fine and elegant their robes are but in the end they will just be walking around naked, fully exposed to a changing world.

by Gray Graham

Coming in 1st is a loss and coming in 3rd is a win, welcome to the spin doctoring of presidential politics. That is how politics work in 2016.​

On the Democratic sideIf Sanders had won then the Bernie bros would have been declaring that the revolution was in full effect. Hillary wins and it is like the establishment is keeping us down. Unfortunately I witnessed a Sanders supporter's sexist attack on Hillary. It is not uncommon online and just like there is an element of racism in the hate of Obama there is an element of sexism in the hate against Hillary. No denying that.​Also I don't know if Sanders realizes it or not but the fact that he is even in the race is pretty much killing his complaints about big money in politics. When you are able to pull in 32 million dollars so you can run for president from middle class and poor people, you should not be complaining about corporations and rich people. The fact that he is able to compete pretty much means that big money and establishment support have very little to do with winning if you don't believe me just ask Jeb Bush.

On the Republican sideRubio was projected to be in 3rd place. He finishes in 3rd place and declares a victory. Everyone was excited that Trump came in 2nd. I don't know why because he barely spent any money, didn't even have a ground game, and didn't even really run a campaign. Trump is just trolling us because he doesn't even want to be president.

The winner of the night was Ted Cruz. While Trump is just pretending to be a hateful bigot, Ted Cruz has the political track record that shows he is a hateful bigot. One of his supporters said they were voting for him because he was going to wipe out Muslims and destroy their religion. I don't know what is wrong with the majority of Iowa Republicans but they tend to like the people the rest of us dislike.

To sum upSanders is not Obama. It is 2016 not 2008. There is no revolution just a bunch of upset liberals. Apparently dictionaries and history books are obsolete because people still don't know the difference between liberal and progressive. They also don't know the difference between conservative and bigot. They also have forgotten Ford vs Reagan and Carter vs Kennedy.

When it comes to our political process the American people are frankly just too lazy. They are too lazy to vote in local elections. Too lazy to learn how our government works. Too lazy to actually research the candidates for office. Americans are even too lazy to try and find common ground to work together to make the country great.

Instead they want to limit campaign finance, limit how long people can serve in public office, limit people's religious beliefs in their public lives, and limit the amount of respect they have for other human beings.

The Democrats in Iowa need to get their process in order. We need to change our election process and if people want new ideas then they need to put the work into building a new election system with new political parties. If you really want to change something then you are going to have to work to make it happen instead of wishing for magical pink unicorns to fix it for you.​At some point you have to stop talking and start working.

by Gray Graham

​Today my attention has been drawn to the latest trending topic on social media. You can be forgiven for thinking it had to do with the police killing people or terrorist attacks. No it was about something much more important than that. It was about personal fashion choices.

Apparently Ayesha Curry, wife of NBA superstar Steph Curry, made an off remark on today's fashion trend of women wearing as little as possible which caused a great many to become upset. Many attacked her with degrading remarks about her and her family all because of her personal fashion choices. No, I think not. People were offended because of their life choices and the results of those choices.

Mrs. Curry is not the enemy. She did not single out anyone on this issue. She simply expressed her personal opinion. Yet some people, mostly women were greatly offended by her proclamation on fashion trends.

My guess is that a lot of people felt persecuted and got caught up in their feelings. I am pretty confident that they have heard similar sentiments expressed by other people in their lives such as parents, siblings, relatives, friends, maybe even potential mates. They didn't like it then and they sure aren't going to like it now.

The thing is that people need to understand that Mrs. Curry is just an individual who is entitled to have an opinion just like anyone else. That is of course what fashion is all about, people expressing views about what people wear.

The current fashion trend is for women to wearing very little clothing. If they can get away with it even going full nude. I have been told that this is empowering to women because they are taking ownership of their bodies and not what men society thinks they should be. They say they don't care what other people think.

This is 100% correct. A woman can wear or not wear whatever she wants. It is also 100% correct that people are going to express an opinion on those choices. Chances are if you are going against common sensibilities they are going to let you.

In our society how one dresses has always been used as a sign of the person's status and character. That really hasn't changed much today. This is why when most people go to a job interview or have an important business meeting they dress as conservatively as possible. Cleavage disappears and skirts get longer when there is money or mother-in-law's approval on the line.

I know there are a lot of men that are happy that they get to see so many women showing their bodies as a demonstration of female power. You can hop on instagram and see half dressed and naked women in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Fat girls (their words not mine) have decided that they like being naked too.

My advice to ladies that feel that need/want to show a lot of skin to get attention, don't. Just because you can doesn't mean that you should. This goes double for my Christian trying to do God's work sisters out there.

Always remember that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Make sure that you are that good thing. If that is what you are going for of course.

by Gray Graham

Can you have a safe place while you are protesting in a public space? That is what some are claiming in the ongoing protests at Mizzou. We have a case where some Afro Americans are missing the point when it comes to the never-ending fight for equality in the United States of America.

Here we have a case where a white professor called for some muscle (que Black mandingo) to remove a student reporter trying to exercise their 1st amendment rights just like the Afro American student protestors were doing.Their reasoning, they wanted a safe place while standing in a public space protesting the removal of the head of a state university. They felt that he was violating their personal space. They did not know him or trust him. They did not know what type of story he was going to tell and if he was going to say something bad about them.As idiotic as this sounds, I heard several African American journalists saying the same thing. Apparently they believe that the protestors 1st amendment rights were more important than reporter's 1st amendment rights.Sound familiar? It should. It is the kind of thing we have heard police officers, Tea Party members, and pretty much anyone against change in the country over the years.I keep saying the same thing. People don't really want equality. What they want is to get their way and everyone else to bow down to their wants. This holds true for the ultra conservatives, extreme liberals, LGBT community, and pretty much anyone else in America.I often upset a lot of Afro Americans when they do something blatantly wrong but then justify it by saying the white man did it first. If their standard of morality is that low then they really shouldn’t being chanting for justice.There is more to being Afro American than having dark skin. There are too many people with dark skin that have replaced Afro American culture and values with white extreme liberal views. There are far too many that fit this definition in the Black media and so-called Black intellectuals. For me this form of racism is more disturbing than the white sheet burning cross kind.I see a lot of Afro Americans making fun of Ben Carson when he has lived a life that is more keeping with Afro Americans than so many of the “cool Black people” you hear about all the time. This may come as a surprise to many but his beliefs on many things are not that different than the average Afro American. Don't believe me ask a few Afro Americans. Not your cool Black friend or people following you on Facebook, but random Afro Americans on the street, at the barber shop, or the salon.These students did a lot of good and then ruined it. There were a lot of people that supported them but now this is just going to be on loop on Fox News showing how they stepped all over the Constitution.And for the record, the moment you decide to speak out in public, about public issues your time as a private citizen ends. The moment you leave your home and walk into a public space your right to privacy ends. People can and will take your picture and observe what you are doing and some may comment about it as news.This is the cornerstone of America and was the cornerstone of the civil rights movement. As was said on Twitter last night, if you want to start censoring people you better make sure you are in the majority and not the minority because if you are not you are going to get burned.

by Gray Graham

This past week will go done as one of the most momentous ones in the history of the United States. One was brought by tragedy, the other was brought by great joy. These events are polar opposites and probably indicate a deep conflict that will continue to evolve in our country. When it comes to our beliefs how much freedom do we actually have?

Because of the sins of the past, the federal government has been forced to enact laws to protect the lives of individuals from the states and individuals. It was not that long ago that you had governors and police departments cracking skulls and using attack dogs on peaceful protesters fighting for their rights. Since people were not able to respect others, the government had to do it for them; otherwise nothing would have ever changed. While to many this has been a great thing, for others it has caused a deep fear of the government controlling their lives.

Many would say that most of the people that have this fear are the ones that have been trying to take away the rights and lives of others for so many years, and they fear that the same things are about to be done to them. Most of the people with this fear are also the ones that have a deep seeded hate of those different than they are. But what about those that truly wish to harm no one but they do not wish to be harmed themselves? In America today and the future, will they have that freedom?

We are starting to see that this called into question with some of the laws that have been passed across the country in an effort to protect the civil rights of homosexuals, the government has infringed on the religious rights of individuals who hold thoughts that are not popular today.

This might be the only case where we can safely say that the founders of the United States would have a humungous problem with these events. We all remember that this country was founded on the principle of religious freedom. The whole reason the first settlers came here was to escape religious persecution, and that was something that they valued above everything else. The ability to live your life based on your faith is as American as you can get.

As our society has evolved religious freedom has been limited by the government. As I said before too often this religious freedom was used as a way to discriminate and harm others and it will always be that way. Now we are seeing examples of religion beliefs being used against people in their everyday lives.

While the government is a secular institution, people are not. The overwhelming majority of Americans have religious beliefs. Studies show that America is the most deeply religious country in the world. For many people their faith is what guides them in life and is the most important thing to them. Their beliefs are not something that they can put on hold, but that is exactly what our government has started doing to individuals.

We have seen the government fine a business for not baking a wedding cake for a homosexual couple because of their religious beliefs. We have seen the government arrest and fine a man for feeding the homeless in a public park. We have seen a city prevent a restaurant from serving the homeless because other businesses in the area objected. We have seen a trendy posh store forced to hire someone that does not meet their high fashion standards because of their religious beliefs.

I am willing to bet that your view of religious freedom changes from case to case based on how you perceive the individual issue based on whether you look at the world through a religious or secular lens and that is one of America's greatest strengths and her greatest weakness. We are a country that is greatly diverse but we are also a country with conflicting beliefs and those beliefs often come in conflict.

The next great issue our country will have to decide is how we are going to balance competing beliefs in the future. The old standard of for the good of the public just isn't going to work anymore when the public itself is deeply divided.

by Gray Graham

There is nothing like the love of a father. Have you ever seen a woman's eyes light up just from mentioning her father? Have you ever seen a man have a look of awe when remembering his father? Our fathers are our cornerstones in life but it seems many have forgotten the love of a father.

Growing up, I never knew how many people didn't have their father in their lives. Growing up, even if your parents weren't married everyone talked about their father and what he meant to them. People would spend holidays, birthdays, and time at church with their fathers. They knew their father loved them and it was something that they needed and wanted.

It was not until I was well into adulthood that I began to meet people that had no father in their lives. Not only didn't they have a father in their lives, many had never had a conversation with their father, and too many didn't even know who their father was.

In today's world a father is considered something extra, instead of something needed. For many a father is a symbol of all that is wrong with men, instead of a loving protector and guardian. Today you are more likely to hear about deadbeat dads, instead of loving fathers, but are there really a lot of deadbeat dads out there?

Recent studies have shown that even when fathers do not live in the home with their children, they still spend a lot of time being fathers to their children. Not just taking them to ballgames and amusement parks, but being primary care givers helping with homework and their daily lives.

Then there are the so called deadbeat dads. Those that society would want us to believe are worthless men that have abandoned their children but we are seeing that this is a false. A recent study that was looking into the hardships of single mothers discovered something interesting.

They assumed that many single mothers were having a hard time because they weren't receiving child support from the father. What they discovered was that the fathers weren't paying child support because they didn't have any money to pay child support, but they were providing other support that the mothers and the government never acknowledge.

Turns out these fathers were providing all the things that their children needed: food, clothes, etc which was significantly more than their child support payments even if it meant the fathers did without.

And that is what father's do. They love their families and they take care of their needs. They don't need any cards or gifts. They don't need any dinners out. They just want to know that their families are safe and well. That is the true essence of being a man, to protect their families.

But this is not the image many have of fathers today. TV and movies have made being a father a joke. He is the buffoon that is always doing something stupid. A clueless individual that can't manage to do anything without his wife telling him first. We have made fathers wear dresses, be afraid of bugs, unable to work, and crying for the smallest of things.

We have made the man that is a strong loving father a myth. I believe more people believe in the Easter Bunny than believe in a loving father. Sadly in today's world the Easter Bunny might be more realistic for many than a strong, loving father, especially one married to your mother.

I can't tell you how many times I am asked by a woman, why can't a man be a man anymore. The answer is simple they are no longer taught to be a man by a man in our society. The message that a boy receives today is a lot different than the one he has heard in the past and probably what he would hear in other parts of the world today.

There is nothing wrong with being a manly, man. It is after all what men are suppose to be. Men are designed to be be tough and to take abuse. They are made to make tremendous sacrifices to provide and protect their families. They are suppose to be the authority figure because they represent power in their families.

Fathers are the other half of the parent equation. They bring different qualities to the table than mothers but are just as important. They are a much needed ingredient in the lives of their children, one that is much needed and loved. We need to remember that we need to love of our fathers too.

by Gray Graham

We are not all reading from the same books. We have different books on history. We have different books on science. We have different books on economics. We have different books on ethics. We have different books on morality. If you are reading from a book that is different than mine then you are a complete moron.

This pretty much sums up where we are as a country and world today. We are basically at a point where it is impossible for people with different views and ideas to have a meaningful discussion about complex or simple topics.

Have you ever tried to discuss a topic with someone that has a different point of view than you? It really is impossible to have a discussion of any substance. There is no source of facts or information that you will be able to provide that is going to change the views of the person. They are going to hold onto those views until they die.

On a weekly basis I have someone tell me that Beyonce was never pregnant, Obama was born in Kenya (yes people are still saying this), the United States is invading Texas, Jesus wants you to become a millionaire, there is a lot of debate about climate change among scientists, racism doesn't exist, and being gay is just like being black.

Now I know many of my readers believe some of what I just listed. So the question becomes how exactly would I be able to disprove these beliefs. We have science. We have legal proceedings. We have books. We have data. None of that matters when people choose what they believe.

And it doesn't get better when you discuss these topics with highly educated individuals. If anything it gets worse. Highly educated people tend to believe they are smarter than everyone else because they actually are smarter than everyone else. This lends itself to disillusionment. Part of the intellectuals ego is knowing something that no one else knows. Therefore in a quest to be different than normal people they will put a lot of effort into proving something that is widely accepted as truth. After all that is how you become a great, you prove the Earth is round.

The problem with this is that in order to prove you are great you have to prove someone else is wrong. You not only have to prove them wrong but they have to admit they are wrong too. And therein lies the problem, the human ego will not allow itself to admit when it is wrong. So we have come up with the perfect defense, never listen to anyone that has a thought that is different.

So we have wrapped ourselves in walled intellectual gardens. If we don't get the information from within our garden then the information is invalid. This prevents us from ever having to admit we were wrong and it prevents anyone from telling us we are wrong. Everyone in our community is just like us after all.

There are very few people in this world that actually make an effort to never build these walls and even fewer that try to break down the walls of others. It would probably be easier to break down physical walls than it would be to break down these philosophical walls.

Humans, just like any other animal, prefer to be with creatures that are similar to ourselves both in appearance and beliefs. History tells us that it has always been this way and there is no reason to think it will change in the near future.

by Gray Graham

A police officer was found not guilty of killing an unarmed African American man and woman by shooting into their car 49 times while standing on the hood of their car and reloading after a chase after their car backfired. Now the Cleveland police department has agreed not to beat people in the head with their guns in an agreement with the Department of Justice.

An ultra conservative “journalist” was permanently banned from Twitter for making a death threat to a civil rights advocate. The response from liberals was a fear of Twitter censoring free speech.

The Baltimore police said that they would not perform their jobs as police officrs because they are afraid that they will be prosecuted because some police officers have been charged in the death of Freddie Gray.

Media outlets questioned why Indian Americans excel at the national spelling bee and why White Americans have no chance to win.

The New York Daily News wanted to let us know that Aurora shooter James Holmes loved comedies like Arrested Development and Big Bang Theory and wanted to be arrested before he killed anyone.

A group of white supremacists and Neo-Nazis staged an armed protest outside of a Phoenix mosque because Islam is a religion of violence.

Only a few of the racist things that occurred this past week.

Almost on a daily basis I am asked the question why don't they [what we call White Americans] understand what racism is like in America? Is it because they don't understand or is it because they simply don't care? In our always connected social media world you see interaction, after interaction, that clearly shows there is a disconnect between the majority of White Americans and people of color [everyone else in America that is not White].

Even allies in the civil rights fight often have no idea the depth of racism in the everyday lives of people of color in America. Two perfect examples of this are feminism and gay marriage. These two movements are considered liberal forward thinking. We often hear both movements compared to the Civil Rights movement that African Americans have faced in this country for centuries. But when you pull back the layers is it as hard to be a woman or a homosexual in America as it is to be a minority?

I have discussed this many times with people of color who fight for women's rights and for LGBT rights and they will quickly tell you that it does not compare to being a person of color in America. Not even close. In fact these same people who also are part of these movements speak about the racism that they face even within these movements. I have know many people that would be considered Conservatives that understand and fight against racism more than many people that are liberals. So racism is not as clear cut as many would like to think.

Race is a very complicated and uncomfortable subject, even among its does that face its ugly burden. I know just as many African Americans, Latino Americans, and Asian Americans that dislike discussing race as much as any White American. It really is stressful to discuss a topic that many, if not most, feel there is absolutely nothing they can do to change it. It usually takes a personal tragedy or at least a story that hits home, before people even want to bring up race. Unfortunately for America we have had far too many of those events in the past couple of years.

A perfect example of this for me is the number of African American fathers that never had "the talk" with their sons about interacting with the police or strangers before the death of Trayvon Martin. That was something that you would have never seen 15 -20 years ago but for a myriad of reasons many African American parents did not teach their children the realities of racism in America even though it could help save their lives.

I have a friend who is dealing with racism now. She is White but her children are black. People that for a lifetime she had considered good, loving family and friends completely changed when she had African American children. All of a sudden communication stops and the ostracization begins.

Of course they will never admit to racism because in America we have made it inconceivable to admit to being a racist but we have made it perfectly acceptable to behave as a racist. So as long as you don't use the N*word or wear a sheet on your head then you are not a racist. We have taught people how to hate in the most polite ways possible.

My friend's story is not unique. I have read story after story of other White parents with children of a different race or White people with a spouse of a different race, that never truly understood the day to day stress and agony of being non-white in America until they had someone they loved in their lives and they saw the pain they went through everyday.

Many people think that people just don't understand what racism is and that is why they do the things that they do. I however say people just don't care about racism because it doesn't effect them. But when it is something that affects them such as sexism or homophobia then they understand discrimination completely.

This might be why we hear so much talk about immigrants from China, Mexico, and India and why we keep hearing calls by various people that they are going to take their country back. The census bureau has already foretold of white people no longer being the majority in the country in a couple of decades.

I don't know why this is such a talking point and something that is mentioned over and over again especially when it comes elections. You would think that minorities in America are treated badly or something.

by Gray Graham

It seems like I just wrote a post like this so you will have to forgive me for being a little tired of the subject. I have been writing about this topic basically all my life and nothing has changed. The perception of Black people for most Americans is the same today as it was 200 years ago.

See America has a reality problem. We like to pretend that we are this great big melting pot, but America has never been a big melting pot. It has always been a bitter stew with a lot of pieces thrown in the pot and the flavors just don't mix. To make it worse everyone keeps adding their own favorite spices and expecting everyone else to just love it.

Now this part is going to probably get me in trouble but what else is new. This week while looking over social media I saw a post referring to the problem of the LGBT community. It seems that the community is controlled by White males just like the rest of American society. Of course this is nothing new and something I have been told many times by people of color that are LGBT.

On the flipside I saw another post on social media that asked was the plight of homosexual Americans the same as the plight of Black Americans. Well this commenter seemed to think it was because the same White male establishment that oppresses Black Americans are the same ones that oppress homosexual Americans. Now let that sink in for a moment based on the supposed problem of the current LGBT community.

In America, African Americans are everyone’s struggle mascot. Since no one cares about the Indigenous peoples of the United States, African Americans are the next best thing if you need an oppressed group. For most of White America, Black people are basically their creations that they have given permission to be human beings. They always try to help us, support us, and most importantly teach each how we are suppose to behave and what we are suppose to do.

Literally for years I have been trying to get people to understand, especially African Americans, that they need to care about their unique plight in America. Doesn't matter if your spouse is White, your friends are White, and your co-workers are White; who all love and adore you, in America that is not the sentiment of the majority White Americans especially those in power.

Maybe it is because public lynching doesn't occur every day. Maybe it is because some people don't care if you have a White wife anymore. Maybe it is because we have African American billionaires and millionaires. Maybe it is because everyone seems to love hip hop. Whatever the reason somehow in the last 20 years most of Black America forgot what happened to our people the previous 200 years.

But apparently in the last 8 they have gotten a wake up call. Apparently people decided to remember that their parents and grandparents were treated like less than human beings.. Apparently they remembered that even among the poor they were still treated as being second class citizens and outcasts. Apparently they remembered that no matter how much money you have, your religion, sexual orientation, or anything else you are still going to face discrimination in America like no other group in our country’s history.

So you are going to have to forgive me for not jumping on the hashtag #Blacklivesmatter. You are not going to tell people that you don't care about being Black, ashamed to call yourself an African American, and smile when your White friends do something racist to someone else of color and then become upset when African Americans both young and old are murdered in the streets..

Take notice to the way that White Americans react when we do something like Black Girls Rock or Black Lives Matter, they immediately become offended. It doesn't matter if they are Liberal, Moderate, or Conservative. They very idea that African Americans might actually have pride in everything about themselves seems to hit a nerve that makes them uneasy.

Until that changes then expect America to be exactly as it has always been. And if you waiting for a lot of Black politicians, police officers, fire fighters, attorneys, bankers, or preachers to make the first move, you are going to be waiting a long time.

Until the majority of African Americans care as much about other African Americans as they do themselves, we will continue to be picked off one by one. At this point it doesn’t really seem like Black lives matter at all. We don’t even talk about them unless they are lying in a pool of blood. That my friends should tell you everything you need to know.

by Gray Graham

America is not that far removed from legal segregation and discrimination against people of color. Even today with laws, things are still not equal for those discriminated against in the past.

The reason is because for the majority of White Americans they see nothing wrong with the actions of their parents and grandparents in the past and they do not see anything wrong with their actions today. Instead of acknowledging the hate of the past they want you to forget about it and stop talking about it. They simply do not care.

Things are changing in America though. Tweyty-five percent of the country is now between the ages of 18 and 35. This new generation views themselves as individuals beyond the stereotypes of the past. They reject the labels of African American, Latino, White, Christian, and American. The question really is whether this is a trend that will continue beyond the current generation or if it is just this group of people.

While things may be changing that doesn't mean that they have changed for all. Contrary to what many believe America has not really changed that much for a large group of people. So while America can elect Obama president, march for Trayvon Martin and Mike Brown, celebrate immigration reform, and celebrate as gay marriage becomes the law of the land, there is still a large group of Americans that are repulsed by every single one of these advances in civil rights.

The hardest thing you will ever have to teach your children is that there are evil people in the world. It is something that many parents don't want to believe themselves so they never teach their children this fact. There are just some people in the world that are evil and they will do evil things to you and it doesn't matter what you do. You can be on your best behavior and that still will not save you.

I understand we do not want our daughters raped and our sons murdered but the reality of the world is that is a danger that far too many will face in their lives and we should teach our children everything we possibly can to protect them the best way that we can.In the past people of color understood that certain actions could lead to something terrible happening to you. Going to the wrong side of town could lead to your death. Wearing the wrong clothes could attract attention and led to your death. Not to say that not doing these things would keep you safe but that anything that made the odds go down is better for your survival.

Over the past 15 years it seems that many people of color have forgotten this reality. Somehow they believe that all the racists and bigots of the past have disappeared from the country. They forget that many of the people that released attack dogs onto women and children, burned down churches, raped an African American girl walking home from school, or lynched someone that was alone are still very much alive and well and so are their children and grandchildren.

I know it would be nice if all of this was something of the distant past but it is not. It would also be nice if it was only a few people, but it is not. Now there is still a rich and powerful element of hate that lives in America and it is an element that is not going to be dispersed quietly. Now this is an evil that will always be with us and that can never be ignored.

by Gray Graham

Thanksgiving as a holiday is dead. Sure people will be eating turkey, dressing, green bean casseroles, and a lot of buttery rolls; but it is not a holiday any longer. Americans will only be eating until it is time to do something else and that something else is shopping.

See Thanksgiving has always had a bad rap. While for a lot of people it was a time to get together and give thanks for all that they had, for others it was a powerful reminder of what they did not have. Nothing brings to mind the hunger so many face in America like a day dedicated to eating a big feast. In recent times it has become traditional for various celebrities and the well-to-do to hand out turkeys to needed families. And there has never been a shortage of needed families.

Also we are in age of so many broken families that it really is hard to get together for the traditional Thanksgiving family diner. I mean where do you spend Thanksgiving? At your first child's father's mother’s house or your boyfriend's second child's step grandmother's house?

Of course this assumes that you don't have to work. As we have moved to a service oriented society the concept of an off day is now foreign. If you are not upper middle class then you are more than likely working on Thanksgiving unless you were one of the lucky to win the draw to get the day off.

I haven't even touched on the thing I always thought would do Thanksgiving in and that is the whole history of America and how they treated the indigenous people in the Americas. I say treated when I should have said slaughtered and destroyed. It was genocide on a level that has rarely been seen in our modern world. An entire group of people nearly wiped off the face of the Earth. We are in a time where we are finally trying to remove the r-word as a mascot for football teams.

But that is not what ultimately did in Thanksgiving. No that honor goes to the almighty dollar. As all the big retailers decided to open their doors on Thanksgiving to try and get a rush on competitors, they did away with many people thinking of Thanksgiving as a holiday and more as a bargain hunting day. This year retailers have been having Christmas sales since October. No time to think about turkey.

With Christmas being only 20 or so days later, American Thanksgiving never made much sense. I guess it was a part of that old American fairy tale about the Pilgrims and the Native Americans that so many people were told when they were young. As people have gotten older and wiser that fairy tale of Thanksgiving has lost its shine as history tells a different tale.

So our American day of thanks has been turned into a day of gluttony. People will overeat, over indulge, and over consume. When you think about it maybe Thanksgiving has become everything that America currently is and nothing can be more American than that.

by Gray Graham

We all know I am no stranger to upsetting people. No matter how polite or cordial, I am going to make some people mad. More than a few people have "unfriended" me in the past couple of months because of views I have expressed.

So let's clear something up. Sexual assault is one of the most evil and insidious acts a human being can commit. It often goes in hand with the other evil and insidious act of murder. There is nothing more serious. Many people we know, both female and male, have been sexually assaulted and live with that pain every single day.

Our injustice system has historically not addressed sexual assault as a serious crime for most people. Even today they are not vigorously pursued as other crimes because they are hard to prove and there is an element that often victims contribute to the circumstances that led to their assault.

So you are going to have to understand that I find it suspect that supposedly outraged people can make jokes about rape. Maybe humanity in American and maybe the world is that screwed up that getting raped is funny and a laughing matter.

On Twitter you can see people say they are a victim of rape and in the next line tell a joke about someone being raped. In fact I have seen far too many people, both liberals and conservatives make rape threats against someone that has upset them.

In America we have decided that critical thinking, reason, and logic do not matter. Instead we go with our "gut" and what we feel. The idea of justice and fairness are foreign concepts in today's world. So we are now in a time where if a man is accused of sexual assault many are going to say he is guilty without any further evidence.

Well that is if you are African American. If you are white then the public will probably forget in a month or so. Don't take my word on it. Just do a simple Google search and see how many celebrities have been accused of sexual assault over the years. You may be surprised.

So we are in the days where saying "no comment" or "I will not dignify that with a response" are no longer going to be accepted by the public. We are a people driven by scandal and we are always looking for the next victims.

Fame and wealth are nice but the price is becoming higher and higher. Maybe a criminal justice system that people could trust would help but I doubt it. People love to bring people down more than they like rising them up. In America it is an extra bonus when that someone is African American or someone you dislike.

by Gray Graham

The African American community in America needs to understand that they need to become organized. They need to seek out and find a group of leaders that are willing to fight for the issues that directly impact the African American community. These leaders need to do more than say things ranging from I hate White people to just work really hard and it will all be ok.

The African American community needs to be done with people that have a problem with being African American, they need to be done with people that believe that African Americans do not need leaders, and they need to be done with people that are not trying to support the African American community as a whole.

African Americans have got to understand that they need to support each other. It is more than just buying from African American owned businesses, those businesses in turn need to support the African American community. If you make it as an African American you need to understand that you need to make sure other African Americans make it.

Until the 12+ million African Americans decide that these things are priorities and demand that we are treated the same as everyone else on all levels, nothing is going to change. These are not new ground breaking ideas. These are things all other groups already do in America. If some people don't want to get on-board then we need to leave them behind.

The problem we have in the United States is that until recently, African Americans were not allowed to self identify themselves as the government and those in power placed labels on them. Even today you still hear those of other ethnic groups that call African American the Blacks, instead of African Americans or even Black people. Our humanity is always called into question as we always have to justify why we should be allowed to do anything by those that hate us.

Many people do not understand that in the past it was deadly for too many African Americans to be together. They faced attacks from hate groups such as the Klu Klux Klan and even the police and other government officials. This created an environment where many African Americans prefered to try and go through life on their own instead of congregating with other African Americans.

Even today you hear many people ashamed of identifying as African American and instead preferring the slavery labels of Black, Colored, and Negro instead of accepting their African origins. To go one step further there are many people that would prefer to be called a nigger by other Black people than be called African American.

You would think this phenomena is something that would affect those in lower economic classes or lower educational backgrounds but in my experience it is just the opposite. It seems the more educated and the more successful an African American is the more they reject the African American culture. Many African Americans have accepted the fact that life is much easier when you reject anything historically African American for a more American way: translation a more White American way.

Lastly let's clear something up. The term African American was not started by Jesse Jackson. It is not new. It is what the former slaves called themselves along with Afro American. They wanted to make sure that it was known that their origins were in Africa and that they were born in American and part of this country just like all the other ethic groups of America.

It was former slave owners, the government, and the media that used the term Negroes or Colored to describe the former slaves until just after the Civil Rights movement. At that point the terms African American and Afro American were used by the media, universities, and the government as it always should have, but the damage has already been done. It was not until the mid 1960’s that people began to reject being called Negro and instead accepted Black. By the 1980’s the general public began to go back to the more accurate African American.

People forget that the African slaves were treated as animals and not as human beings. Slavery was not a new concept but treating other human beings as animals is. The African slaves were breed like cattle and often not allowed to form families or keep any part of their ancestors. The life that they endured would not be allowed today for dogs yet it is how human beings were treated for hundreds of years.

It is really sad that there are more non African Americans that care about African American culture than African Americans themselves. It is a problem that will take a lot of work and a lot of coming together to change.

Praying is always good. Praying with no work behind it is dead and pointless.

by Gray Graham

I hope this is the last politics type post, I write for a long time.

I care about people. All people. Unlike many people I do not brag about removing people from my life. I do not think I am too smart or dumb that I can not learn from others. I do not love the sound of my own voice. I do not tell people to remove themselves from my life for no other reason than they disagree with me. There is a lot of hate in this country from all sides. There is a lot of hate in this world. There are a lot of sins and evil that we accept as common place.

Exit polls yesterday showed that voters think that the country is going in the wrong direction. I know most of those voters are Republicans but some of them are Democrats. So my question is what is the direction that people want the country to go?

I suspect that these voters want America to go in completely opposite directions over a few small issues but are completely ignoring the most important ones; starting with the fact that the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and both groups are mad and not happy.

We don't know if it is just a generational shift where you have people in different generations with different values coming into conflict or if America just is too diverse for its own good. In the past everyone would just try to assimilate into the melting pot but today people want to have their own individual culture and beliefs. We are very much a country of self above society.

So we have people voting only on their personal wants. They are no longer willing to make a sacrifice if it means another American will have a better life. People do not think of soldiers as their sons and daughters when they are off to war in another country. When an Afro American child is killed by police officers many Americans do not see that as their child. It seems more people are interested in protecting their privacy even if it means that criminals get to operate more freely.

America has a problem. It can not make up its mind what is most important. We keep electing a government that is designed to fail because we elect people that do not personally get along and then expect them to magically work together for the good of the country. Americans do not do things for the good of the country and they do not elect people that work toward the good of the country.

This is why I and many others dislike politics. At its core it never seems to be about helping people. Its sole purpose is for power and that power is usually in the form of money. If you have money then it really doesn't matter which party wins because you can always buy the results you want.

In the meantime the average American has to work as hard as they can to survive. We live in the richest country in the world, with the lowest average wages, the longest work week, the worst educational system, the worst health care, and the lowest income level in the industrial world.

How many voters cast a ballot to change any of this? That my friends is why I hope this is my last post for awhile on politics because in the end it doesn't really do anything to help the most people. Until we learn to love each other, we are going to keep destroying each other.

by Gray Graham

Unless you have been living under a rock, you probably know that the NFL has been having a bad PR time lately. Thanks to outrage over domestic violence charges against a few of its players in recent weeks, they have been bombarded with outrage from a lot of people.

Last week I called this faux outraged because it really is not based on any common sense. I saw a lot of things said this past week and one that really stood out was someone saying it was the NFL's job to protect the wives and children of NFL players from violence. Really? It is also Google's job to make sure that their employees don't cheat on their wives and do drugs?

In case you missed it most of the outrage is coming from those that hate sports in general, especially an alpha male dominated sport like football. There is nothing that dismisses the belief that men and women are exactly the same in every way possible like sports, for it continues to prove that they are not.

America has a long problem of treating women like second class citizens. Until recently the NFL has had a problem of reaching female fans. That has changed as more women, independent of a male influence, have become fans of a completely male sport that does not have a female counterpart.

Others hate the NFL because it makes billions of dollars and pays no taxes. Cities even build the stadiums and offer tax-breaks to the individual teams. The NFL wins elections in a way that the NBA and MLB wish they could do. All this means that the NFL has made a lot of political enemies over the years and you better believe those enemies are going to attack them now.

And then there is the double standard in our society. Take Hope Solo who is also a professional athlete and she is facing charges of domestic violence against her sister and nephew. She is still playing for Team USA, her professional team, and is still sponsored by Nike. She has even been captain on her team since the charges. There are other stories of women of with domestic violence cases but instead of outrage there is laughter. Apparently it is funny when woman commit acts of domestic violence.

Here is a truth that many of the critics of the NFL and Goodell may have missed. Before Goodell took over as commissioner, rarely missed any games related to their personal conduct. This did not start until Goodell took over from Paul Tagliabue something that the players did not like at all. Remember this is also the league that tried its best to get Michael Sam onto the field even though his skills are not up to pro standards because they knew what that would mean to society as a whole. But today they are villains that do not care.

Domestic violence is an epidemic in our country and the NFL is just a very small reflection of our larger society. It is beyond unrealistic to expect an organization to behave in a manner that would be superior to all other institutions in our country. Domestic violence is a serious and complicated issue which means in our society, unfortunately, it is too difficult to have a meaningful discussion to confront it. It brings up a lot of hard truths that for many reasons will never be discussed.

I said from the beginning of this media created scandal that I wanted the NFL to do something to help the average woman who needs help and has no voice at all. Those are the kind of things that are going to stop domestic violence and save thousands if not millions of lives. As Verizon CEO, Lowell McAdam, domestic violence is a much larger problem than simply the NFL and one that we as a society need to address.

I asked one person that is now boycotting the league why did she wait until now. Her response was she finally woke up to what the NFL had been doing. I think like most people she really hasn't been paying attention to domestic violence in the NFL or society in general. Like all of our social issues domestic violence is not new but is far too often ignored.

This is not the NFL's fault either but it seems like everyone wants to give them all the blame. But then again maybe it is the NFL's fault since they have made themselves the most important institution in the country with the following of 70% of the male population and 38% of the female population.

If this situation doesn't do anything else maybe it will bring to light our problems with domestic violence and racism for as was pointed out in Goodell's news conference, all of the people involved in these incidents are Black and all of the decision makers are white. As I said America has a lot of problems to solve.

by Gray Graham

In her own words Mrs. Rice calls the attention they have received unwanted.

If you have followed me any amount of time you know over the years I have talked about domestic violence a lot. I have done podcasts. I have wrote blog posts. I have worked with women that work with abused families; trying to help them survive because they have no help. I have made social media posts in the past pleading with everyone to please be there for those in need when it comes to domestic abuse.

All those times I got silence or flat out rejection because they said the woman needed to get her act together or wanted to be hit. So you have to forgive me for saying that most, if not the majority, of people complaining about Ray Rice are flat out just lying through their teeth when it comes to how they view domestic violence. The only reason anyone knows about this is because it is the NFL. If Rice was an employee at your local grocery store no one would care.

No one cares about the other players currently charged with the same offense. No one cares that he did what the league asked of him and then after TMZ released the video then they tried to cover their backsides by kicking him out the league. No one cares that Obama commented on this in a few hours but took how long to mention Mike Brown. Ray Lewis actually got on TV to say something about Rice and how he was disappointed and refused to answer when confronted that the Ravens stood by him when he was faced with a murder charge.

The saddest things I heard yesterday from women that had been abused was that when they were going through it and they asked people to help those people did not help and did not care. Then yesterday they saw all of this faux outrage about a woman that they didn't even know who does not want people involved in her private life.

See if you know me then you know that I serve God and I follow God's rules. Sin is sin. I know people try to make levels of sins but that is not how God sees it. Knocking a woman out is not worse than cheating on your wife in the eyes of God. Never has been never will be, but a lot of people like to think it is. Too many folks want to act like their sins are not as bad as other people's sins so it makes them a better person.

A lot of people jump around when it comes to social issues mostly based on who they like and who they don't like and not based on the Word of God. I am not on that train. I don't care what the public thinks is right or wrong because that doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what God considers wrong.

So if you really want to make a difference and you care about domestic violence start in your own life and make sure that you and your partner are living it the way you should. Then make sure you are available to help those close to you in need whether you know them or not. That would actually show that you care instead of feigning outrage on social media about what you would do if it was a woman in your life. Consider every person whether they be a man or woman in need of help a person in your life for that is what God tells his servants to do.

Then you will actually show that you care about domestic violence and a whole host of evils that plague our world today for there are many evils and people in need of help. Just talking without action is not helping anyone.