The Orange County Beer Trail

A map to all of our fine craft breweries, liquor stores and pubs pouring the good stuff!

Ever heard the joke about how drinking Coors Light is like having sex in a canoe? Because both are fucking close to water? It's an old, tired joke, sure, but back when Santa Ana's Mayor-for-Life Miguel Pulido was a wide-eyed innocent, 3.2 percent beer was all that was available in OC. Those days are happily going the way of the Great Park boondoggle. The craft-beer revolution, which reached a fever pitch in San Diego a decade ago, has claimed our infernal county as its latest territory, with breweries, craft-beer bars and liquor stores specializing in bottles and kegs of luscious elixir popping up as though mushrooms after a rainstorm. These days, craft beer isn't just for plaid-clad, bearded hipsters and people who compulsively check into bars on Untappd; you'll find it in airports and dive bars, in the hands of people ranging from the gnarliest 8 a.m. drunk to the snobbiest foodie this side of a DSLR lens.

So behold our guide to all things cerveza in Orange County, along with a handy-dandy map for pinning on your cubicle. Read all the blurbs we have on the county's breweries, finer liquor stores and pubs, with a special shout-out to our country cousins in Long Beach. And, finally, come to the latest OC Weekly/KCRW Good Food Happy Hour on Thursday, Feb. 7 from 7 to 9 p.m. at the king of OC's New Beer Revolution: The Bruery at 715 Dunn Way, Placentia, (714) 996-6258. Meet Evan Kleiman of KCRW's Good Food and your favorite Weekly food writers, and enjoy beers released exclusively for our event—see you there! And remember Mark Twain's advice: Write drunk and edit sober!

1. AMAZING GRAPES WINE STOREDon't let the wine moniker fool you: When Cismontane Brewing is closed, it's not time to play in traffic, the only other thing to do in RSM. Just head to Amazing Grapes next door and pillage its huge, brightly lit coolers full of California craft beers. 29911 Aventura, stes. D, E and F, Rancho Santa Margarita, (888) 299-WINE; amazinggrapeswinestore.com.

2. BRADLEY'S FINE WINES & SPIRITSBradley's is where Tustinites go to buy good wine cheaply, and the good prices extend to beer. The selection can be daunting, though not as bad as the parking lot it shares with Trader Joe's; the staff is just as good at knowing beer as wine. 12932 Newport Ave., Ste. 1, Tustin, (714) 544-1444.

3. DIMENSION LIQUORFoothill Ranch may be a soulless place, where life is put on hold pending a review by the HOA's architecture board, but Dimension Liquor, just downhill from the 241 toll road, is an oasis of craft beer that will make the waiting for Godot much better. 20761 Lake Forest Dr., Ste. J, Lake Forest, (949) 380-8786.

4. G&D LIQUORWe could write about the selection, but we'd rather write about the best deal in OC craft-beer retail right now: make your own six-pack for $9.99, with no more than three of any individual beer. At that rate, you'll make your way through the cooler in a few months or so of steady drinking. 338 N. Euclid St., Fullerton, (714) 525-0085.

5. HACIENDA BEVERAGEA cluttered hodgepodge of liquor in no particular order (try to find a specific bottle of tequila!) stands between you and the huge back wall tiled with craft beer. Consider a pole vault because the selection includes Eagle Rock and other LA microbrews. 670 S. Brea Blvd., Brea, (714) 529-1593; haciendabeverage.com.

7. HOLLINGSHEAD'S DELICATESSENIf it's German beer you're after, you've got to wander the aisles at Hollingshead's, one of the OC pioneers of great beer. There are craft brews from the U.S. as well, but the vast majority of the hundreds of bottles are from places that sprechen Deutsch. Just don't wear a Vikings jersey or root for the University of Michigan—you've been warned. 368 S. Main St., Orange, (714) 978-9467; hollingsheadsdeli.com.

8. ICON BEVERAGES & CIGARSLittle ol' Cypress is blessed with a liquor store that can boast of the best U.S. craft-brew selection in the county by far, with 600 craft beers; a knowledgeable, friendly, staff; and an upcoming tasting "room" cordoned off by so-flimsy-it-can't-be-true 3-foot barriers. 5721 Lincoln Ave., Cypress, (714) 229-8904.

9. K&S FOOD STOREK&S, just west of oh-so-fancy Floral Park, looks as though it ought to specialize in malt liquor, but wind your way through the labyrinth of boxes, and you'll find a surprisingly good selection of local brews. 2626 N. Bristol St., Santa Ana, (714) 543-7190.

10. MR. KEGSWhere do you go when you're having a keg party and you're past the "bro" age at which Coors Light is okay? You go to Mr. Kegs and stock up on California craft beer in 5-gallon party balls. 5914 Warner Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 861-7270; mrkegs.com.

11. O'SHEA BREWINGThis is a wonderland in South County: brewing supplies, cheesemaking supplies and craft-beer kegs. Also, you can get the house brew, made by Bayhawk to its recipe, for far less than other craft brews. 28142 Camino Capistrano, Ste. 107, Laguna Niguel, (949) 364-4440; osheabrewing.com.