Neighbors discuss 'reclusive' family, morbid secret

November 12, 2008

Maybe the most troubling thing for those who knew Margaret Bernstorff is that they never really knew her at all.

In all the years neighbors helped the elderly woman carry groceries to the door of her Evanston home, she never spoke of her sister Elaine. When they stopped seeing Bernstorff's brother, Frank, on tree-lined Judson Avenue, she told some of them he had moved to Indiana to live with relatives.

And when a local contractor who did repairs on her home inquired a few weeks ago about her other sister, Anita, Bernstorff told him she was upstairs, not feeling well.

Just days after neighbors tried to persuade the 94-year-old to move into a nursing home, police discovered she had been living with the bodies of her three siblings. Elaine Bernstorff died in her 60s in the late 1970s; Frank Bernstorff died at 83 in 2003; and Anita Bernstorff, 98, died in May.

"They were private people, and we wanted to respect their privacy," said Gianna Panofsky, who has lived on the street for 45 years. "They didn't belong to society; they belonged to each other and that's it."

It's not uncommon for elderly people to retreat into their own worlds and try to preserve their independence, experts say. And it appears society's informal watchdogs such as churches, family, friends and doctors did not apply to the Bernstorffs, neighbors said.

"If you don't have any of those safety nets, you fall through the cracks," said Celia Berdes, an assistant professor of medicine in the Buehler Center on Aging, Health & Society at Northwestern University. "I think that's what happened in this case."

Nancy Flowers, Evanston's community health division manager, said she had contact with Bernstorff, but never was allowed in the home until last week, when she reported the case to police. Bernstorff, who is staying at a nearby nursing home, is doing "just fine," Flowers said.

Margaret Bernstorff's attorney, Eric Parker, said she is cooperating with police.

"She's a nice lady. She's led a very private life. She wants her privacy respected," he said.

Officials at the facility where Bernstorff is staying said she was not up to speaking with anyone.