Surrealist Recipes

It’s not a party if there isn’t food. At least, not a party worth going to. Impress all your cats friends with party snacks that aren’t crackers or leftovers from the latest round of King’s Cup.

Upside down cake – Stranger Things

You couldn’t have missed this hit show from last year, even if you lived in the upside down.

Bake this cake, and you’ll have a fairly tasty dessert as well as a tv reference that’s only slightly dated.

We’ll be using pineapple for the fruit – although you can replace it with pretty much anything – because it’s cheaper to get in a can than fresh fruit and those youth allowance dollars ain’t gonna get you anything fancy.

For the cake

For the atmosphere

A criminal amount of fairy lights

Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas

For the topping, beat the butter and sugar together until creamy. Spread over the base and a quarter of the way up the sides of a 20-21cm round cake tin. Arrange pineapple rings on top, then place cherries in the centres of the rings.

Place the cake ingredients in a bowl along with 2 tbsp of the pineapple syrup and, using an electric whisk, beat to a soft consistency. Spoon into the tin on top of the pineapple and smooth it out so it’s level.

Bake for 35 mins and leave to stand for 5 mins.

Cut a slice and ponder what’s more frightening: a demi-gorgon or a bunch of 12 year olds being more successful than you’ll be at 50.

Salty dog cocktail – Un Chien Andalou

If you really want to up your surrealist cred, mix up one of these drinks as a reference to Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dali’s movie Un Chien Andalou a.k.a An Andalusian Dog.

If you like ants, jaunty horn music and watching someone’s eye get cut open – as we all do – then chuck on the movie in the background on Youtube.

Fill glasses with ice cubes and four 1/4 cup vodka over ice in each glass.

Divide grapefruit juice between glasses and serve.

Toasted kale chips – Soylent Green

Ah yes, the snack for people that hate themselves. Bring out these bad boys (bland boys?) with a bit of dip and some olives, but be prepared for that one sanctimonious friend to tell you how they eat these, like, all the time before hearing about their new fitness regime for approximately 40 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back.

With a knife or kitchen shears carefully remove the leaves from the thick stems and tear into bite size pieces. Wash and thoroughly dry kale with a salad spinner.

Drizzle kale with olive oil and sprinkle with seasoning salt.

Bake until the edges brown but are not burnt, 10 to 15 minutes.

Cry, the tears will salt the chips so that they actually taste like something.

Noodle soup – Blade Runner

Do your friends enjoy furrowing their brows and looking moody in the rain? Then do we have the recipe for you!

This is a pretty cost effective dish, so if you’re really into channeling that whole neo-noir thing every day of the week, then why not let this noodle soup help you live your dreams before giving up on them and dying inside a la Rick Deckard?

It’s a shame your goals and aspirations won’t live, but then again, what does?

To serve two, you’ll need:

450g fresh thin hokkien noodles

1 tablespoon peanut oil

3cm piece ginger, peeled, finely chopped

2 garlic cloves, crushed

2 small red chillies, deseeded, finely chopped

6 cups chicken stock

500g chicken breast fillets, trimmed

2 tablespoons light soy sauce

1 teaspoon sesame oil

3 teaspoons brown sugar

4 green onions, thinly sliced diagonally

1 bunch baby bok choy, chopped

Green onions, finely shredded, to serve

Place noodles in a heatproof bowl. Cover with boiling water. Stand for 3 minutes or until tender. Drain and separate noodles.

Heat peanut oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add ginger, garlic and half the chilli. Cook for 30 seconds. Add 2 cups stock. Cover. Bring to the boil. Reduce heat to medium-low. Add chicken. Cook for 5 minutes or until just cooked through. Transfer chicken to a chopping board. Slice crossways into strips.

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