I am an evil giraffe. But I'm trying, Nick. I'm trying REAL HARD to be the wizard.

This time, about where he was and what he was doing during a 2006 atrocity.

Mr. Biden told a meeting of mayors in Washington Thursday that he was about a quarter-mile away from an Amish schoolhouse on Oct. 2, 2006, when a gunman shot and killed five students and wounded five others.

[snip]

But a search of maps of the area in Lancaster County, Pa., shows the nearest golf course to the site of the shooting, Moccasin Run Golf Club, is about five miles away. Rodney King, the golf pro at Moccasin Run, said Friday he was working at the course on the day of the shooting and never saw Mr. Biden, who was then a U.S. senator.

It’s kind of a messed up story, no matter how you look at it. It’s too nasty to be really funny (this splinter group was making symbolically-significant, religious-based attacks against others); too surreal to be read straight (since when do Amish get to use electric razors?); and any righteous indignation is kind of tempered by the inconvenient point that there’s an outside chance that the charges could earn the perpetrators a life sentence. I don’t disagree with making a hate crime a felony, and I’m familiar enough with the Holocaust to know that you can seriously mess up people’s heads with something as seemingly non-violent as an involuntary haircut; I’ve just never had to think about where the line is for this kind of thing, that’s all.

Marvel at our heroic government agents as they swoop in at 5 AM* to stop the pernicious practice of selling unpasteurized milk across state lines!

An Amish farm in Pennsylvania has been stopped from selling contraband milk after a year-long federal government sting operation.

The Rainbow Acres Farm was found to have been smuggling banned unpasteurised milk to customers in Maryland.

Cheer as this tawdry trade – dominated by cartels of Amish farmers and natural-food enthusiasts – is shut down! Rejoice as the profit margins of Monsanto** and other agriculture companies are protected by their pet Democratic shills in Congress! (more…)