{...snip...}I know it's far from over. It will come up at least twice between now and then, with my mother calling me, begging me to reconsider. I've already got my script written for me."I'm sorry, that won't be possible."

Knitterly, I'm just interested: has your mother brought up the subject again, as you predicted? If so, how did it go?

The shower came and went. Much to my shock, it did not come up again. It did very briefly afterwards, where she expressed "sadness" that I couldn't make it. I just replied with "It would have been nice, but as you know, I already had a commitment."

I have, however, had other wonderful shiny spine moments with her. Most recently was over easter and resulted in my younger sister sending me an email the next day saying that "it was really great" the way I "handled" mom over a particular parenting issue. She said she would have been livid, but she was impressed with how quickly I shut it down. It actually took me a few minutes to remember the issue, and then I realized, if I had to work to remember the issue, obviously it's become a non-issue. Which means maybe I really am getting better at this whole shiny spine thing.And THAT was an incredible moment for me.

As someone who is well acquainted with the "Sigh of Deep Disappointment", I applaud your shiney spine! My mother will often throw in the "Long Pause of Disapproval" and/or the "Tone of Condescension" as well when she thinks I'm not handling a situation correctly. I'm slowly starting to polish up my spine as well. Examples like yours help.