Inclusion

What’s the world like through the eyes of innocence? Somewhere over the spectrum I see the wonder. I see the wonder of a world not tainted by ignorance and hatred; where superheroes exist and fairy tales really can come true. Children give us a unique opportunity to regain this magic.

“Daddy,” queried my nineteen year old son. “What’s Santa Claus going to bring you for Christmas?”

“Let’s see,” speaking of himself in the third person, Cade answered his question. “Santa will bring you Batman, Superman and Justice League toys.”

“Wow Cade!” I exclaimed. “You must have been a good boy this year.”

“Yeah,” he so proudly agreed. “Daddy, what does Santa bring you if you’re nice?”

“What Cade?”

“A bag of toys.” Joy beamed from his eyes as he replied. “Daddy, what does Santa bring you if you’re naughty?”

“What Cade?”

“A bag of poo.”

Although physically an adult, Cade remains a child. Autism may have robbed him of an ordinary life but Cade has taught me extraordinary lessons. Throughout the past two decades Cade has been the most fascinating person I’ve known. He has been a superhero, explorer, spy and space ranger. His adventures were always alluring to a man that settled for a boring job in banking. I must admit, his space ranger days always kept me on edge.

Cade was just two years old and plotting travel to the far reaches of the galaxy. One small step for man became one giant leap from the couch. Moments later we found ourselves in the emergency room with a fractured arm. That night, while my astronaut was fast asleep, I did what most parents would do. I painted his cast to resemble the beloved Buzz Lightyear’s arm. “Perhaps I should have gone with that annoying purple dinosaur,” I thought as Cade shouted, “To infinity and beyond.” Cade may have been sure of his ability to fly but I wasn’t sure of my ability to explain another visit to the hospital. To protect him from the perils of space travel we turned the couch upside down.

All through his elementary school years Cade attended school with typical children. He spent most of the day in classrooms devoted to students with autism. The remaining time was spent in moments of inclusion. Inclusive classrooms place children with disabilities side-by-side with their non-disabled peers. Through inclusion children learn acceptance. Children are given the opportunity to realize that despite our differences, we’re all the same. Instead of forming judgement and fear, the children form friendships.

The end of fifth grade approached and it was time for Cade to find a new school. Cautiously we looked over the middle and high school options presented. Cade’s teacher and several others highly recommended Webb Street School. Webb Street provides a learning environment for students ages 5-22 with developmental disabilities.

“At this age kids can become cruel,” we were advised. “Mr. Melerine, if you send Cade to one of these other schools he will become a drug mule. However, at Webb Street he will be with his peers. He will be with those that understand and appreciate him. At Webb Street he can be himself.”

Determined that Cade should never compromise being himself nor transport narcotics up his rectum, we enrolled him in Webb Street. It was a happy place filled with exceptional children. The school protected the students from the perils of the outside world. At Webb Street being different was not only accepted, it was encouraged.

“Why would anyone harm such beautiful beings?” I often wondered. The answer is “ignorance.” Ignorance causes individuals to somehow feel that they’re better than others. Ignorance doesn’t see beauty in things that are different. Ignorance sees fear and fear breeds evil.

What does evil look like? It’s not zombie-like creatures with decaying corpses like you may imagine. That would be too easy. The vile stench would give it away. Evil lies in faces like yours and mine. Evil is all around us. We let it ‘in’ when we fail to see the beauty in God’s creations. We let it ‘win’ through racism, sexism, homophobia and heartlessness.

I stand guard with the army at Webb Street School. Together we fight to protect those persecuted for being different. To anyone thinking they’re better than others for some pathetic reason, hear this: “You are not smarter than a fifth grader.” If there’s one thing I’ve learned from raising a former space ranger it’s this, “On Playground Earth we’re all created equal.”

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53 thoughts on “Inclusion”

As always your words reduce me to tears, Kelly. So much love for your son in a beautifully written post. Cade lives a different life but he has an amazing dad to fight his corner. Nobody is better than anybody else, though many think so. Nobody is better than my son. He is different, that’s all. I am also different. Does that make me any less of a human being? We all have a right to be in this world and if everybody chose their default setting (love) instead of hate, it would be a better place for us all.

What you wrote here is the essential perennial wisdom. Sometimes I wonder if what we do makes a speck of difference, but reading this post reminds me that it absolutely does and the world is better with people like you in it.
And about that taco I was going to make up in Cade’s honor? I had some spicy salsa chicken ones that were pretty good, but here is the really unique one. Corn tortilla. Zucchini and Herb Fritter. Fried egg. Sauce of your choice, either salsa, chermoula, or raita, weather depending. Befitting a spaceman and cosmic crusader. Thank you for the inspiration!

It’s all Deborah Madison’s recipes except the tortillas (easy to make, too) but the real acid test? Is the Dog absolutely LOVES THESE. He seems to know when I’m making them and literally sits at the edge of the kitchen. Waiting. Food for thought, as always.

When I see hate mongering coming out from under the rug under the guise of political backlash I get scared. With two boys who are minorities and both having autism I get scared for them. Terrified actually.

We sure do miss our Superhero!!! Miss all of you, somehow we wish we could go back to those days when our biggest concerns where what kind of haircut Daniel and Cade would give themselves today! LOL I know that you guys were meant to be our neighbors and we have learned a lot from all of you. Love you guys!

I have been on a negative role lately, seems nothing is going right, or so it seems. Then I read your post, I feel as if a hand reaches out of the computer, grabs me and pulls me back into reality. Your blog puts life back into perspective. I read, shed tears, close my eyes and really think about life. When I open my eyes back up again I feel myself being reset, on the path I should be on. I can’t seem to find the words, but your blog touches me heart, my soul and gives me a new perspective on life. I feel honored that you share your life with us readers. You give us that glimpse into your life that we may never understand but feel we are closer to understanding with each post. You are an amazing man, and inspiration to us all. Your son also inspires me to live life regardless of our circumstances. Thank you again for your writing’s and a better understanding of how we can be better people to others.

I don’t even know how to reply to such an incredible comment. When things in life aren’t going right and you lose hope just hold tight for the good things to come. Life is kind of like the stock market. The best time to buy in is at the low points. A rally of goodness is on the way my friend. Thank you for the wonderful words. You really brightened my day.

There is a lot of lip service about acceptance and embracing difference. It’s wonderful that you had access to such an amazing school for your son to feel actual acceptance and love. I worry about my son’s future and if he will get to feel that. We have a long road as he is 6, but hearing your son’s story gives me hope! Thank you for sharing.

I am so very grateful for the school and staff. You and your family are in my thoughts. Hopefully more resources will become available in your area. We moved to Charlotte, NC as an escape from Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans 10 years ago. Although I miss my friends and family dearly I couldn’t leave the resources available here.

It’s always delightful seeing people who have been able to find acceptance for their children. My youngest son is 9 and has high functioning autism. He’s still in his own world at times and a lot of teachers aren’t able to handle him, or understand why he does what he does. I can’t tell you how many calls we get from the public school we’ve got him in. It’s a work in progress.

Thank you for sharing this story. It gives hope that my son will find acceptance in a world that is far too judgmental.

It’s so true that kids that age would become cruel. Actually, kids at any age can be mean and cruel. Like you, I often wonder why there is a need for that too. I love reading your post and it brought a lump to my throat. You are a dedicated Dad; I smiled (with a tug in my heart) at the thought of you drawing his cast with Buzz Light Year while Cade was sleeping

Your journey with Cade will enlighten all the ignorance in this world. There’s no need for hate. Lovely to meet you, Kelly 🙂

Thank you so much for this post – so much wisdom here and so much truth. Just this month we made the decision to move our son to a specialized school that has a great program for children with autism (although not for the same reasons you cited – he’s only 7.) His public school was fantastic with a caring, inclusive community, but there is something to be said for a school that specializes in autism and other developmental challenges. It’s reassuring to know he’s in a place that truly understands, appreciates, and can handle all that is “autism”- all the challenges, all the gifts. I’m so glad the Webb School turned out to be a place of safety and acceptance for your son. I hope my son’s new school will offer the same for him. The “real world”, and the ignorance that exists in it, can wait.

Hi Kmelerine. Evil has many disguises! I treat everybody the same though maybe not the aliens! Thank you for wanting to follow my poetry adventures. Very interested in all things paranormal conspiracy theories and observing the world about me! Writing a passion that keeps me sane and alive! Great to meet you. The Foureyed Poet.

Thank you for sharing! I grew up living with only a very mild physical disability during a time where a lack of understanding across the board made it very difficult for people such as myself to get along without hassle throughout school. It is a wonderful to see that things are moving forward in the right direction and I can truly relate to this post. Thanks again for sharing.

Kelly…..this is not only incredibly and thoughtfully written, but also a necessary and invaluable message for the masses. Inclusion….seems at first glance a simple word, but sadly it’s met with ignorance, anger, and quite frankly, exclusion. Whether it’s kids with special needs, the mentally ill, kids facing a life threatening diagnosis or the forgotten elderly community….they will always need inclusion. What a different world this would be if there was more acceptance, love, and empathy. Kelly, I am truly blessed to know you, and I often pray that there are more people like you in the world. Keep shining your light, and your voice…for you and your son, and the countless people that aren’t lucky enough to have one. Kelly, you are making a difference!!! Blessings to you and your family.

Cruelty and hatred, fear and exclusion have brought us to the edge of the cliff America is currently standing on. Your posts are filled with love, humor, dedication, wisdom, tolerance, beauty and understanding. You are shining a light in a darkening world. ❤