Sunday, September 27, 2009

This morning, our pastor spoke on the topic of broken families. He briefly spoke on how to keep your family from being broken but he spent the majority of time talking about how much God loves and cares for the broken. Psalm 68:5 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Our pastor encouraged us to be a blessing and to love and care for the broken as God does. The pastor spoke about a young girl whose parents had divorced and she struggles with the feelings of failures to this day. During the message, my head bowed and I found tears coming to my eyes because once upon a time I was that little girl. I realized that I don't share the hope and promises that God gave me long ago because I don't like to share that part of my life. I like the picture now much better. I feel convicted to share a bit of my past because I want to give God the praise of how He loved me when I was broken and hope for those who are broken now.

My Mother was 16 when I was born and my Dad 20. They were unmarried when they found out she was pregnant. My Mom tried to abort me but kept me only because My Dad proposed marriage to her. My Mother came from one of the darkest, ugliest, abusive families I have ever heard of and my Dad came from a home with an abusive and alcoholic father, although he became a Christian late in life and was one of my most beloved people of all time. These two young people were married and had me and my sister. Without Jesus though and no knowledge of good relationships, they were doomed to fail. When I was 4 my Mother left to live with a drug dealer. As a Kindergartner I spent 4 days with my Dad and my soon to be step-mother and 3 days with my Mother. On the day my Dad got re-married, my Mom, sister and I left for Oregon to live. The year to come was one of the darkest periods in my life. So much so that I remember very little of it. After that year, I refused to go back to Oregon ( I was strong-willed at 7 too!) and that started 8 years of court battles. My sister was sent to live with our Mom and I with my Dad. We spent summers together and split them between homes. I had times of great good but the majority of time was ugly. My Dad's parents were a mainstay in my life and my Grams took me every Sunday to church, even though it was a Mormon church, I learned early that church was a place of safety and haven.

My teen years were a rough road as I was strong willed, lacking in a strong foundation from childhood combined with parents that had no idea what to do with me. My Dad and Step-Mom had come to Christ but we lived in a place without much support and discipling for very young parents and young Christians. I came to Christ at 13 and during a particularly rough patch, God gave me this verse, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." Joel 2:25. I clung to this promise, that God someday would make it better, sooner rather than later preferably, but that was not to be. My teen years were extremely rocky ones as were my early 20's. Any growth and stability I had were hard fought.

I have had to make some hard decisions and some hard choices but God has never left me and I am now living in the redeemed years. I feel that God is re-paying me now for those years that locusts have eaten and that is what I want to share with those who are currently living in the rough, broken years. I want to share with those parents whose children are having to live those years now, through no fault of their own, that God can redeem their lives. They can have happy, joyful lives full of God's blessings. We as parents or grandparents in my case, just need to keep showing our kids the way to God. Teaching them how to make the right decisions based on God's word and God will repay the years the locusts have eaten. I know because I am living proof.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I just finished reading a very sweet book, "The Railway Children" by E. Nesbit. It's very much in the vein of "Little Women" or "Anne of Green Gables". Stories of sweet childhood even in the hard times. I was feeling nostalgic for that era of childhood. It must have been so wonderful to be a child in that Victorian era and having children with that sweet innocence.

Just at that thought, I heard sounds of giggling downstairs. A voice that is just beginning to sound a touch more adult mingling with two younger voices, one higher and one lower. It was a beautiful sound. I realized in that second, that I have that life and that my children have that sweet innocence of childhood. They get into plenty of scrapes, but they love each other and they love others. They know that they are loved and taken care of and will be. They have seen that life can be sad and troubled but they have seen that there are people who are willing to help and willing to love unconditionally. They are learning and will prayerfully continue to learn how to give of themselves. They will have to face that people can be unkind and the world can be an ugly place, but they will hopefully learn it with the foundation of God, parents, grandparents and friends who love them and will stand beside them when life gets rough. I love that home schooling gives them the time and opportunity to be children who are not rushing to grow up and who can retain that sweet innocence. It's so very precious.

Perhaps someday a story will be written around them. I am sure if it is, there will be plenty of stories of Caileigh getting them into scrapes and the boys figuring out how to get out of it but at least they are in it together.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Scott went to India for 10 days. He got to spend his birthday at the Taj Mahal, isn't that amazing? I can't quite fathom that. The closest I've gotten was the large replica at Legoland. Anyway, he brought back silk authentic outfits for all of us. They are really interesting and very beautiful! It's really apropos because we have been learning about the British Empire in 1850 and India as a part of that. We talked today about the Sepoy Mutiny in India and how it brought the British Government into full control of India. It's great when real life meets school topics.

As a sidenote, Collin cracked us all up when he said, " I feel like a Pope!" as he was changing into his outfit.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

I have been re-reading "Hints on Child-Training" and was struck by this phrase, "His training will decide the manner and method and extent of the use of his God-given powers." It made me think through what we are doing with our kids. Not in bad way but wanting to make sure that we are being deliberate in our training and that we aren't missing anything with each child. Does our school curriculum fit with the values and training that we hold dear? Are we doing what our kids need to prepare them for the amazing plan that God has for them? I prayed that God would give me clarity and discernment.

Not five minutes later as we were reading Bible for the day we read a story that pointed to exactly what our family mission is. The kids and I had a great discussion on the story and the supporting Bible verses and had one of those moments that God just clearly speaks approval. "Yes, this is what you are to do." It also gave me, again, a clear affirmation on choosing to home school and to use the curriculum that we use. They all support the mission and goals that we have as a family. God is so good.

Oh as an aside, I do love MFW and their Bible curriculum always hits home for me. The book we were using today was, "A Young Person's Guide to Knowing God" by Patricia St. John. MFW introduced us to Ms. St John several years ago and each time we love absolutely love her books. Some of them are fictional novels that point the way to God and some are Bible studies like the one we read today. It's a great family devotional.