Glitter Armpits Are A Thing Now And It’s Too Late To Do Anything

In the Internet’s inexplicable rush to stick glitter in ever more inconvenient bodily crevices, some women on Instagram have started adding glitter to their armpits to turn them into lush, bedazzled forests called #glitterpits!

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We always knew glitter is impossible to get rid of and that it can spread, but we never thought it would spread so quickly – first it was on men’s beards and women’s roots, and now this!

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There is a beast with heart of cold stone
that dashes like lightning, shreds flesh from bone. //
Bewitched by this beast, I fell to my knees.
My mouth babbled madness and mumbled soft pleas. //
I stared down the ravenous, gnashing dark maw of a cute cuddly kitten with yarn in its paw