18 Bizarre Sex Stories That’ll Make You Think Twice About Having Sex Again

1. The alternative form of protection.

“I was fooling around with a guy, but we didn’t have a condom. I suggested he put the bed sheet between us and dry hump, because it would still give us stimulation. I don’t know where he learned about dry humping, because to him it meant wrapping his penis in the sheet and inserting it.”

2. The white puddle.

“My boyfriend and I had just had sex. We didn’t use a condom because I have the implant and we’ve both been tested. I went to the bathroom and had an unexpectedly violent sneeze. His cum came shooting out and landed in a nice puddle on the bath mat.”

5. The over-excited butt grabber.

“My boyfriend and I were having sex. He decided he wanted me to sit on his face. He grabbed my butt to pull me closer but misjudged how small I am and catapulted my face into the wall. It broke my glasses, cut my cheek, and gave me a black eye. We’re still together and my face has healed nicely.”

6. The after-work nap.

“My husband came home after a long day at work and we had amazing sex. I noticed him slow down after a while and then he just stopped completely. Turns out he fell asleep still holding my tits and squeezing them in his sleep.”

8. The face-sitting.

“My boyfriend and I had just started having sex and he told me to sit on his face. I did and it was amazing until he told me to lean back. I queefed RIGHT ON HIS FACE and then shot back up and queefed again. We don’t talk about it to this day.”

11. The 10,000th step.

“I used to have the step counter activated on my phone and it made a victory ring when I hit 10,000 steps. One night my phone was lying on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex and just as he came the notification sound went off. The most perfect timing ever.”

12. The raspberry.

“I invited a guy over who had bragged about how good he was at going down on a girl. Once he got to my place and things started heating up, he went down on me and the ‘fantastic’ move that made him ‘so good’ was to blow a raspberry on my vagina.”

13. The porn star pubes.

“The guy I was having sex with had no pubes but that didn’t put me off. However, afterwards he took me to his bathroom, showed me his collection of hair removal cream, and told me that he would always have the ‘pubic area of a porn star’. Cool story Bro, goodbye forever.”

14. The not-so-sexy cramp.

“I got a cramp in my leg so we had to stop. The cramp hurt so bad I started walking around his room naked and crying. After about 10 minutes of this, I tried to be sexy again but he couldn’t get hard after that.”

15. The drunken encounter.

“I once brought a guy back to mine after a night out. We were both drunk AF and started getting down, when suddenly he stopped.
Him: ‘I know you’re thinking about her!’
Me: [puzzled] ‘Who?!’
Him: ‘Effy!’
Me: [more puzzled] ‘Effy who?!’
Him: ‘Effy from Skins, you have a poster of her.’
Me: ‘No, I don’t!!’
Anyway, we start up again, and about ten minutes later he stops me and says, ‘Sorry, I’m just far too interested in international politics’, and goes to sleep.”

16. The first time.

“My ex and I were having sex for the first time. Everything was going good, but after three minutes, he pulls out and starts masturbating instead for a solid 3-4 minutes. After he was done, he said he saw it in porn once.”

17. The bedtime story.

18. The strap on.

“An ex of mine (a straight yet adventurous male) enjoyed having a strap on used on him. One night, while he was face down, ass up, taking the strap on, he turns back to me and says, ‘I’m shitting all over the bed, aren’t I?’”