"Where does she find the energy, y'all? She is trying to single-handedly strap this country to her back and carry it to safety. And, no, she doesn't care if the country wants to go or not. Rep. Waters is that Auntie who attacks your face with a wet wipe at every cookout and has a ninja-like ability to whip a comb out and run it through your hair before you can ever protest. She is not trying to have you out in these streets looking a fool and embarrassing her, America! You need to straighten up and act like you have some good sense before she calls your mother on you."

I love reading anything about gigantic animate blobs of molten iron who secretly long to be concert pianists. It’s not a particularly well-populated genre, but in particular I’d mention, “Grog, Who Loved Chopin,” as well as the somewhat derivative “Clom, Big Fan of Mozart.”