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The art of negotiating escapes most of us, even good salespeople,
because few take the time to correctly understand the word and
follow the golden rules of negotiating.

The first and biggest error is a misunderstanding of the word.
When I ask people at my Closers workshop what the word
“negotiating” means, I get answers like, "how good a deal can I
get" and "how cheap can I buy." For many people, it’s a process
of painful tactics of stall and overcome or a give and take
mostly involving the surrender of price and terms.

“Negotiate” comes from the Latin negotiatus, which is
the past participle of negotiari, and means to carry on
business. This original meaning is critical to understand because
the goal of negotiating is to continue doing business by
conferring with another to arrive at an agreement.

So, scrap the notion that negotiating means lowering the price to
reach an agreement. A lower price does not make for a better
deal; it only makes for less margin for you and your company.
Your goal is to come to an agreement about a proposal, and the
way to do this is to build value in your offer. The solution your
product or service offers is the focal point of negotiations, not
the price.

Here are three of my 12 golden rules, which I won’t allow myself
to violate in any negotiation, whether simple or complex:

1. Always Start the Negotiations. You must
initiate the process because whoever controls the start of the
negotiations tends to control where they end. If you let the
other party start negotiations, you will be constantly giving up
control, often without even realizing it. For instance, when you
ask someone what his project budget is, you are allowing him to
start the negotiations. You will then spend your time chasing his
number rather than finding the best solution. When I sit down to
work out an agreement on the numbers involved in the decision, I
will even interrupt to prevent the other side from controlling
the starting point. Sounds bizarre, but that is how important
starting the transaction is. I once had a client who wanted to
offer his terms upfront. I politely said, "Excuse me, I
appreciate your willingness to tell me what you can do and would
like just a moment to share with you what I have put together for
you. If it doesn't work, then please tell me." This allowed me to
control the starting point.

2. Always Negotiate in Writing. I see so many
professional salespeople make the mistake of discussing and
working on the terms of an agreement without ever committing
their ideas to a written agreement. But the purpose of
negotiations is to arrive at a formal written agreement, not tell
a story or spend time talking. From the first moment I make a
proposal, I refer to a document that is being created in front of
the client. It includes all the points of agreement and becomes
real to the prospective customer. Negotiating first and then
having to create a document adds unnecessary time to a
transaction. But if you build your written agreement as you
negotiate, you are prepared to ask for a signature the moment the
decision to buy is made.

3. Always Stay Cool. The negotiation table can
be loaded with agendas, egos and emotions. Great negotiators know
how to stay cool, providing leadership and solutions, while the
rest of the room becomes insanely invested in personal agendas
and useless emotions. Crying, getting angry, name calling and
blowing off steam may make you feel good, but such behavior will
not benefit you while negotiating. When the rest of the room gets
emotional, stay cool like Spock and use logic to negotiate and
close.