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My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately. What do I do?

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My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately. Tonight he asked me if I thought it was a mistake for us to get married! He says we dont have anything in common, and we think differently. We have been married for 5 years and have two beautiful children. (3 and 10 months) He also said that he isnt attracted to me anymore, because Im not as skinny as I was before . He says that I do everything to make him mad, but it is the opposite, I feel that any time I do something that annoys him, he blows it out of proportion and I honestly dont know what to do anymore. For example, the other day I got lost trying to get somewhere. Instead of telling me how to get there, he told me to quit relying on him for everything and figure it out myself. (I am terrible at directions!) He told me that I was stupid and to quit acting like an airhead, and he said all of this in front of my kids! I am getting so upset and sad and I just dont know what to do anymore.

Mom Answers

When another person says the key phrases you mentioned, not attracted, why did we get married, and we have nothing in common, then he has already contemplated not being with you. You have two beautiful children and your marriage is worth fighting for. Go right now and find a marriage counselor, go see them even if he will not go, and get help to deal with this. Your husband is angry, not talking constructively, and being verbally abusive so he is not in the right frame of mind to rekindle your marriage. Go, right this minute, find a marriage counselor and get help so that you will not have to handle this alone.

i am really sorry to hear that and i know how it feels...my husband and i just had our son in december and ever since my son was born all we have done is fight. My advice is to try out marriage counceling, it has done alot for us and we have never really understood each other more than what we do now!

I am so sorry to hear this, it is so hard being married and having kids, and argueing with your husband surely does not help. He should never yell at you in front of your kids, because they will make it ok for them to treat you like that in the future. I know its hard, but try to talk to him when he is not in a foul mood, tell him how you feel or write him a letter. Its wrong of him to put you down with your weight, but I honestly think he was just taking his anger out on you. Try to spend some time with him on the weekend to reconnect, if that doesn't work, then you both need to talk about your marriage and how his words are hurting you. I also recommend getting a gps so he doesnt get mad if you ask for directions or help. Men can be so impatient and just so insensitive sometimes. Best of luck, I was going thru the same thing, so I always talk to him afterwards when he calms down. He is stressed from his job and his only way to vent is to yell at me over the dumbest thing.

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