The Dangers of Retail Therapy

Did you know you'll pay more when you're feeling down? It's true. A new study finds that when we've experienced a hit to our self-esteem, not only are we more likely to pay with credit card than when we're feeling fine, we're actually willing to pay a full 30 percent more for jeans. Uh-oh.

Plenty of us have succumbed to the notion of retail therapy: Did you bomb a work assignment or get in a fight with your boyfriend? Go buy a new outfit to cheer yourself up! It’s no wonder we turn to the mall when we’re down: It’s fun to try on outfits and treat ourselves to something new, and when we put the purchase on a credit card, we get instant gratification without paying a dime (at least, at the moment). In fact, shopping has been shown to boost our dopamine, a brain chemical responsible for making us feel pleasure, what some researchers call the “shopping high.”

The problem is, that high doesn’t last, and then we’re left with our original problem (work screw-up, boyfriend issues) plus a bill to pay. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If you can afford what you’re buying and you wanted a new dress anyway, no big deal. But the problem comes when you’re using shopping to cope with bad feelings or when you’re spending more than you can afford and running up debt. This study found that we’re less price-sensitive when we’re down–perhaps our sad feelings overrule our usual financial savviness about what we should pay for what we buy.

I’m not advocating that you swear off the mall altogether. Rather, I’m advising that when you’re feeling low, you take a look at whatever’s bugging you. Rather than trying to shop away the bad feelings (or eat them away with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, another common self-soothing strategy), let yourself feel low. After all, there’s a reason you feel bad. Our culture tends to send us a message that we should be happy all the time, but the reality is it’s okay to feel sad or angry or anxious, and it’s not something you necessarily need to “fix.” It’s normal to experience the full range of emotions at different times. And honestly, if you never felt sad, feeling happy wouldn’t feel quite as good.

So let yourself wallow. It will give you time to think about what’s bugging you, and address it directly. Then, when you’re eventually feeling better, hit the mall. Not only will you end up with purchases you actually want, you’ll be smarter about paying reasonable prices for them. That’s a win-win.

Dr. Catherine Birndorf is a psychiatrist specializing in women’s health, founding director of the Payne Whitney Women’s Program at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital in NYC, co-author of The Nine Rooms of Happiness and SELF’s Happiness Expert.

Got an issue with your job, your boyfriend or your roommate? Dr. Birndorf can help! Write to her, and her advice for you could appear in a future blog or issue of SELF.