Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Pirate Day Walks The Plank For Me

Ahoy!

Today was Talk Like A Pirate Day, a "holiday" I've been promoting for the past three years. Avast, me hearties, this will be the last day I participate in the event. The inventors of Talk Like A Pirate Day were on television last night, and I just can't support their endeavors anymore.

The show was WifeSwap, an inane program where the producers find two wacked out families and make them switch moms for a week. Last night an anal-retentive perfectionist family with a daughter who's three years away from a crystal meth habit switched moms with a band of poseur pirates.

You see, the Baurs don't just talk like pirates for one day out of the year as a goof. No, they actually live and dress like pirates every day, all year long. They express their "pirattitude" as a lifestyle choice. And to them, piratitude means living in squalor, not paying the bills, not taking care of the flea infestation in their house, shunning deodorant, and running around with plastic swords. Complete losers.