Archives for May 2015

No, Reynolds did not break his arm, wrist, hand or finger(s)….that’s just his “boo-boo” for his IV. Anyone who walked into his hospital room would get an arm raise from him with a “See? Boo-boo.” I think, though it annoyed him at times, he enjoyed his big blue boo-boo and the robot that came with it.

Such a weird thing….the answers for his temp swings {and plunge} have not been definitive, but rather just enough to assure us that he is ok.

The nurses and residents took great care of him the two nights we were in the Children’s hospital this week, so I am going to give a shout-out to all of them – the nurses and techs and sweet people who cared for him while he was in the hospital. And if anyone out there knows anyone who works at the Children’s hospital in Columbia, please pass this along!

From the get-go, Kristal was a favorite – our tech the first night, she immediately put Reynolds at ease. She was easy-going and though he associated her name with our neighbor, he really liked HER.

Emmeline, our nurse the first night, also a huge blessing to us – she checked on us several times, advised us that parents don’t typically go into the room where they put in the IV (praise Jesus, because it would have been me!!) and who assured us of what the process was and how long it would take.

Kelly, Jenna and Heather were our other nurses and Megan, our last tech, were so kind and gentle with our little man. They all made our experience quite pleasant and not so scary for him…though R completely hated(!!!!!) having his blood pressure taken. Poor kid, he didn’t understand the arm or leg “hug”…

All of these ladies, along with our Pediatrician {and the residents!} took great care of him and us. They constantly asked if we needed anything, and while being at the hospital isn’t always exactly fun or enjoyable, they made our experience really great, and for that I am {we are} thankful.

We got home yesterday evening and while Reynolds is currently resting, he seems mostly himself. He even got put into time-out a couple of times yesterday. :)

He’s on an antibiotic to help with the ear infection he’s still fighting and we’ll have a follow up with our Pediatrician on Monday.

As I sat in his hospital bed Monday night, after he’d been taken to have his blood drawn and IV put in, I rested in Psalm 86.

Just a few points from this passage:

I am poor and needy

When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me

Among the gods, there is none like you, Lord

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart

For you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me

To all of our friends who have called, texted, messaged and prayed, an enormous “thank you”.

I don’t want to continue dwelling on the sadness that has been our life for the past few weeks, and please know that that’s not what this post is about. {We’re not all doom and gloom!!}

But rather this is about the hope that can be found, even in the saddest of days.

I don’t often blast out my faith, and this isn’t that, it’s more of a sharing with you that the darkest of nights and the dreariest of days don’t have to last forever.

Honestly speaking, last week was probably one of the worst weeks I’ve experienced in a really long time. By the time we got to Thursday and the news of our baby, I felt like there was no water left in my body, even to express the tiniest of tears. My reaction was more like, “Are you kidding me? How is this happening?”

But I never asked “What did I do to deserve this?”

I more of just asked Jesus, in the quiet of my own heart, to heal me. Heal the utter and complete brokenness that I was feeling. My heart had been stomped on, and it hurt badly.

You know what that feels like. Some of you have lost friends, parents, grandparents, siblings, pets, relationships {of all kinds!!} and it all hurts. Some more intensely than others, but the pain is real and at times, it can seem like it will never end.

As one who went through a burning fire {not literally} several years ago and spent months in the bathroom floor crying, begging for everything to be over, I know that there IS sunshine after the rain. The hurricanes and tornadoes of life come in and can seemingly destroy everything you know, but, when its all over, the skies are the bluest of blues and the sun shines brightly. There is hope. There are happy days ahead.

I share with you a post that a friend sent me today. She said that when she read this earlier this morning, it made her think of me:

My response to her was this: It’s the crap that you go through that makes you WHO you are, and makes you rest in the arms of Jesus. {A friend would say, “slammed up against Him”}. You are forced to become someone/something, not just to be.

He’s there in the quiet. When all the tears are gone…when there is no water left in your body to cry even one tear. He’s always there.

And once you’ve gone through the fire just once, you always remember that. He never leaves. He never forsakes.

One thing I really love about sending Reynolds {and Eliza Jane} to daycare is that they do all kinds of artwork with the kids there. Hand and foot prints are by far my absolute faves.

Yes, it’s a minor reason, but with all those prints, it’s pretty great! How else am I supposed to be able to remember how small they really were one day, especially when Reynolds is staring down at me and I have a crick in my neck from looking up at him… I’m telling you, the kid is going to grow up and be enormous.

Anyway, Sunday afternoon I was going through a stack of glue and paint {even marsh-mellowed} smeared construction paper, all from Reynolds’ classes and tried to think of some ideas to keep the really good ones.

This is the best picture-idea I’ve seen, and I haven’t completely decided, but I think I’m going to do something like this, that I found on Pinterest:

And yes, going up our stairwell…because right now, our stairwell is pretty blah, boring. And currently I have no better ideas for it. No, I don’t want a gallery of grade-school photos…sorry to you out there that do :-P But being in my parents’ home and seeing my 1987 bangs and crooked front teeth make me want to protect my poor kids from bad trends and pre-braces. Although, don’t get me wrong, Andrew and I…and of course my brother get a good kick out of those old photos. And everyone loves a good poke of the remember whens. {Nike pumps, anyone? Not me! My brother…}

Now the great debate is whether or not we should go to IKEA for the picture frames or just get the basic white ones from Michael’s or Hobby Lobby {waiting for the 40%-50% off of course}… Any opinions out there? Either about the frames or about what to do with all the artwork? I don’t want to just stick it all in a box. And something about having it go up the stairwell seems so much more cheerful and real-life like.

We purchased the last few plants, after careful consideration, for the flower bed and then came home to put them into it. After standing back and looking at everything, Andrew said, “I think we should dedicate this flower bed to Lily…and Baby Lucas.”

Added into our new flower bed are a Mock Orange…I looked for this plant for 2 years. No lie. We found it last Thursday at Woodley’s. Then, our neighbor, who is native Hawaiian, told me that they use the flowers from the Mock Orange in the Haku Lei (the crown of flowers)….

Super Bells

Wave Petunias

Salvia

Asiatic Lilies {of course, and these were insanely gorgeous when they bloomed}

Calla Lilies {from which Lily got her name}…and I don’t have a picture of them blooming because I planted bulbs with just a little greenery on them.

And anchoring the end is a Georgia Belle Peach Tree. I mean, being from Georgia, what else did you expect?! This tree is a self-fertile tree, meaning we didn’t need a second tree in order for it to produce fruit! And bonus! we already have some tiny little peaches…

Last, but certainly not least, is a sweet little flower that I got from Reynolds for Mother’s Day {his daycare did these}

It’s a little fuzzy tonight {I’m sure we’re going to have a major storm any minute..} and a wise man told me this weekend to give it a year or two, and it will be glorious.

I hope you, my friend, have had a lovely Monday….and thanks again for reading my blog…it’s been a huge blessing for me to be able to have this outlet, especially over the last month.

So anyway, here we are on Monday night, the day after Mother’s Day. And I am reflecting.

We announced on Instagram and Facebook this evening that we are expecting baby #3 in late November. Can you say, holy moley, three kids under 3?!, Batman?! :)

We are beyond blessed and thankful. But I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not crazy nervous. I am wildly nervous.

I had a talk with Jesus the night I took the test: “You say….you won’t give me more than I can handle.”

Apparently 1. He thinks we can handle 3 this close together in age and 2. He’s got a sense of humor, doesn’t He?! Yes, indeedy, He does.

Just so y’all know, the test result was pretty immediate. I didn’t tell Andrew I was taking the test…to which he later said, “A GOOD wife would have at least told her husband that she was TAKING A TEST!!!”

:-D

We had a good laugh together that night.

So the reflecting thing.

I became a mom for the first time just two years ago. Over the last two years, these are some of the things I have cherished the most:

Waking up to a child’s singing

Hearing “luh you, momma”

The cry when I leave the room {though at times it can make it harder…}

The wild laughter that comes from Daddy-son wrestle time

The snuggles between a brother and a sister

The crazy splashing that goes on during bath-time…I need my own towel most nights!

Pushing each other on the “buggy” and the joy one little boy has doing it

Watching him run down the sidewalk as we walk home from the neighborhood park

Seeing him climb the ladder to the big slide for the first time, all by himself

Kisses and hugs

The joy on the face of a little sister when her big brother comes into the room

The laughter from the backseat

Watching her try her best to keep up with him {if only she could run!}

“Hold {her} hand” when Reynolds wants to hold his sister’s hand

The last bottle of the night, with little fingers intertwined into a hand-made blanket from my mom

The battle of brushing the teeth {this almost always requires a strait-jacket}

Requesting another kiss or another hug before he goes to sleep

Watching them grow and learn, discovering every day new things that they can do

“Giza” then “Gi-Jane” and now “Gi-ja Jane”

To the moms and the aunts {especially mine}, the grandmothers {and those I’ve adopted to be such}, the friends and those reading this blog whom I’ve not met yet….Happy Mother’s Day to you. It’s an incredible gift and no small task to raise a child {or two or three…}, whether your own or someone else’s. To love, to cherish and to sacrifice are the greatest blessings when done for one of these little ones.

It’s been a couple of weeks since I first told you all about Lily, our 12 year-old Chocolate Lab. As a recap: On Tuesday 4/14 I took her for a routine physical at which point our Veterinarian discovered some masses in her lower abdomen that raised concern for possible mammary cancer. That Friday the results were confirmed and we were referred to South Carolina Veterinary Specialists, where she could see an Oncologist.

Our first appointment was Monday, 4/20 {also our son’s 2nd birthday}. We talked about her chemo options and what things would look like going forward. Her first chemo treatment was the very next day.

On Tuesday of last week Lily had a follow up appointment to check her blood levels, etc. to be sure that the chemo wasn’t harming her body. Andrew’s sister took Lily for us and reported that everything looked a-okay.

We got home late last Thursday night (after midnight) from our trip and Andrew said to me, “I don’t think she’s going to make it through the night.” She had very short, shallow breaths which weren’t normal. I said some prayers and went to bed.

The next day we were set to meet my parents around noon at my aunt and uncle’s home in GA, a sort of mid-way point for all of us, to pick up our kids. {Thanks again Grammy and PopPop!!}

Andrew called our Oncologist around 10 {when we were about to leave for GA} and she told him to bring Lily in for observation.

Via a phone call not long after we dropped her off we were told that her lungs {mainly her right} was filled with fluid and it needed to be drained.

They removed a liter of fluid that day.

We walked into the office that afternoon, all four of us, to meet with Dr. Brown. She basically said that Lily’s cancer presents itself this way and until the chemo started affecting the cancer the way it should, this would happen. She said that we could think about what we wanted to do over the weekend, but that if we wanted to proceed with treatment, there was a stronger chemo that we could try the following Tuesday.

We talked a lot over the weekend. We questioned ourselves.

“Are we being selfish to keep her here with us?”

“She doesn’t seemlike she’s in pain.”

“We committed to three treatments…”

“Her tail still wags and she acts like she’s still happy.”

“I don’t think she’s ready to go.”

Were many of the things we said to each other.

By Sunday evening we noticed that her breathing had become more labor intensive once again. I called Monday morning, “I think her lungs are filling up again with fluid…”

I was told to bring her in and that our Oncologist wasn’t there, but Dr. Lucas {relative?!} was there.

I took her in and met with Dr. Lucas.

A wonderful, compassionate and empathetic lady she was. I cried asking her some of the same questions I’d asked Andrew. “Are we being selfish?” She shook her head and said, “If we put her to sleep today would you regret it six months from now, thinking that you could have done more?”

“Absolutely, of course” was my response. And I believed every word of it. I didn’t think she was ready to leave us and I was certainly not ready to give her up.

“Well, then, I’ll drain the fluid today. Bring her back tomorrow and we’ll go the more aggressive route.”

She drained around 850ml from Lily’s right lung that day.

On Tuesday I met with Dr. Brown who is one of the most gracious and lovely ladies I’ve ever met. The compassion with both of these ladies is amazing.

Dr. Brown told me that we would do this more aggressive chemo treatment and that she wanted to see Lily again on Friday to check her lung fluid levels. In short, she said that if we could get to Friday, that was a good sign. If her breathing became short and labored again prior to Friday, that wouldn’t be a good sign and that we would really need to consider her quality of life at that point. It was a hard thing to hear, once again.

Wednesday was a really hard day for Lily. She barely had any energy and didn’t care to eat much of anything. I feared for her.

Thursday was a little better. We coaxed her to eat her food by pouring some chicken broth over it all :)

I was nervous all day yesterday. I stared at her. I studied the rise and fall of her chest. I listened intently to the breathing in and breathing out.

I think she’s ok, I convinced myself…and perhaps Andrew.

Today I took her for her check up. “We made it!” I thought to myself. This has got to be a good sign.

She even seemed a little more chipper this morning when Reynolds and I came downstairs {at 6 am…}.

Dr. Brown gave her a quick look under the ultrasound and called me into a room. “First glance and there is very little fluid in the right lung, which is a good sign because that is the one that we’ve been draining. However, the left looks like it has some fluid, not nearly a liter, but cautiously I think it would be the best idea to go ahead and remove it before the weekend, that way we don’t potentially have to think about an ER visit over the weekend.”

I quickly thought that even though Andrew wasn’t with me, he surely would go the most cautious route {that’s just him} so I told her that I felt comfortable making that decision.

She asked to keep Lily all day, until around 5 that way she would have time to drain the fluid and then observe her to be sure that there are no other complications.

Andrew picked her up this evening.

The report goes something like this:

400ml removed from the left lung, not nearly a liter and half of what was removed on Monday, and it’s been four days since then.

We’ll take her in for a recheck on Tuesday to be sure that there is no additional fluid build up. If there isn’t, that means the chemo is doing exactly what it should {and we will do a happy dance!}.

One of the most precious things through this has been Reynolds’ response to her. We’ve told her that Lily is sick and doesn’t feel well. Most days when we’ve gotten home from school he immediately asks for her. Upon entering through the back door he immediately says, “Hey Lil-bug! You ok?” And then he wants to sit down with her and just pet her head.

We recognize that we need time away….from the laundry, the dishes, the craziness of life. Often I’ll take time off of work and keep the routine of kids going to school, etc. but I like rest from the normal routine. We also take weekends away from our home to get out of the ruts that can come.

Also, part of the reason we haven’t gone on vacation every year is that I’ve been pregnant or had a newborn almost the last three years {count in all the pregnancy time}.

The last trip we took was to NYC in July 2012. Reynolds was born the following April – you can do the math :)

2. Vacations take planning – money planning.

Sometime in the Fall of 2009 {I can remember where I was living at the time}, Real Simple magazine {one of my faves} had an article {that I cannot find…} about a man who wanted to take his family on a really nice vacation the following summer. All of their friends and neighborhood families were going on trips and he wanted to do something REALLY great the next Summer. So he came up with a plan and though I can’t remember the exact details of what he specifically did, it was something like this, which is what we do – and how we paid for our honeymoon, a trip out west, NYC and this latest trip to Exuma:

Open a savings account that you don’t have direct access to – as in, you can’t transfer money out of it willy-nilly or in “emergencies”. Ours is out of the way, in town and I have to make a special effort to go there. I also do not have a debit card for the account.

Have a set amount of money direct deposited into it from your paycheck so that you’re constantly adding to it.

This is the biggie and for sure the hardest: Pay for things in cash. If you get a $5 bill back, don’t spend it. We call ours “The $5 fund” – genius, I know. But $5 bills cannot be touched. They go in a separate area of my wallet and once I’m home, the $5 bills are taken out of my wallet {or Andrew’s pocket} and put in a particular place in our home – not under the mattress! Once we have $100 or so, it goes into the savings account. It can build up really quickly….especially if you go to Chick-Fil-A and buy an eight-pack of nuggets with a $20 and get three $5 bills back….none of them can be used…they ALL go into the $5 fund. It takes some will-power for sure, especially if that was your last $20…ha. {Can you tell that this has happened to me before?!}

When you’re ready to pay for your trip, wait as long as you can, then take the money out. Put it in the account that you’re using to pay for the trip, PAY FOR THE TRIP before that money gets spent on something else, and then start building back up that fund ASAP!

3. Take a fantastic trip, go all out {with your $5 fund savings!}.

We don’t have thousands of “extra” dollars just hanging around waiting to be spent on a great vacation, remember we now have 2 kiddos. {I’m really excited for those of you that do!!} And we like great vacations. A true vacation, by definition is a specific trip or journey, usually for the purpose of recreation or tourism.

We’ve done both: tourism, recreation and then we’ve also rested.

In 2011 we took a trip out west with our friends, Dana and DJ. It was crazy. We started with a football game between USC & UGA in Athens, GA then boarded a plane the next day for Phoenix, AZ. From there we went to Flagstaff and drove to the Grand Canyon and stayed for a couple of nights. From the Grand Canyon, we pit-stopped at the Hoover Dam {we barely made it before it closed!} and then made our way to Las Vegas. A few nights in Vegas and then we were off to Los Angeles {my fave!}. We saw, we did, we ate, we were 90-miles an hour the entire time! It was a crazy fun and expensive trip!

Our trip to NYC three years ago was jam-packed full of adventures as well. We had most of each day planned out…we walked the city over – it was GO GO GO the entire time and it was amazing!!

This year’s trip to Exuma was more about rest and getting away from the daily grind. The greatest thing about going thru Sandals, like we did this year and for our honeymoon, is that you pay for the trip and {snap!} you’re done. That’s it. There’s no additional cost, unless you get a massage {we did}, go golfing or take an excursion {there are some pretty amazing ones}. If you just want to go and lay on the beach or float in the pool, you’re set. Not a penny more needs to be spent, other than food you might need in an airport while you wait for your connecting flight.

It’s ok if you don’t go on vacation every year. You don’t have to keep up with the Jones’ or the Smith’s or the whomever is taking trips every year. Make yours special, and make a special effort to save for it. No one needs to have a giant credit card bill hanging over their head because they took an elaborate trip that they couldn’t afford in the first place :)

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