Guys can be tough to figure out. They can be both simple and complex, warm and mysterious, sweet and masculine. They are walking contradictions that I sometimes wish would just run away. I might not be the most experienced with guys, but I have enough experience to say confidently that I have come a long way from when I first kissed a guy at age 18. Did I say 18? I meant 13. (I meant 18.)

I've been out on lots of dates, been in a few lighthearted relationships, and a few more serious ones. I've met lots of great boys and only a couple unfortunate ones. All in all, no matter what unfolds with a guy of interest or what happens in a relationship, there are so many scenarios to learn from and so many ways to grow.

Sometimes I lost myself in relationships and sometimes I didn't let my heart fall in love because my head got in the way. Sometimes my person developed in a way that I enjoyed and preferred, sometimes I felt my character falter. Sometimes I lost control of myself, and sometimes I tried to control others.

While I'm by no means a pro, and I struggle profusely in both the courtship of dating and the maintenance of relationships, here are 15 pointers I wish I'd known from past experiences—I'm hoping you can use them to your advantage and personal growth.

1) Don't play games.

It's one thing to have fun, it's another to mess with someone's heart. Don't do it. You wouldn't want it done to you. This tip is not to be confused with playing games in the literal sense. Play as much Boggle as you want.

This goes hand in hand with not playing games, but it is quite different. I find that I don't play games, yet I often grapple with being direct. I worry about offending someone or regretting my decision when really, it's more irritating to be the wishy-washy, indecisive person. Speaking of regretting decisions...

3) Own your decisions.

A good friend gave me this advice, and I hold it close to my heart: Say what you mean and mean what you say. Just don't say it mean. Okay, you can say it mean, but only if it's also funny.

4) When in doubt, don't reach out.

I'm very proud of myself for that rhyme. Really though, whether you're thinking about contacting an old flame or a new spark, if it seems like reaching out to that someone could be awkward or untimely, don't do it.

I'm an emotional girl (aren't we all?), and they have their way of getting the best of me. Sometimes my emotions take hold and I stop behaving rationally; I hardly even recognize my actions. If you feel your face getting hot or tears coming to your eyes, breathe deeply. Take a minute. Gather your thoughts and go back to the situation when you feel more clearheaded.

6) Take it slow.

There's no need to rush. If it's the right person, you've got all the time in the world.

7) Have fun!

Ironically, I can't stress this one enough.

8) Treat guys the way you want to be treated.

Be respectful and be gracious! Believe it or not, guys have it hard too! Look how many of us think they're jerks!

9) Keep your friends close.

I was once in a relationship where I pushed my friends away merely because I was spending all my time with that particular boy. My friendships outlasted that relationship, and I had to work to rebuild the trust of my friends.

Think of a bottle of soda: If you bottle up the soda and then shake that bottle, when you finally take the cap off, the soda's gonna explode everywhere. Instead, just take a sip of the soda. It won't hurt you. Bad analogy. Soda actually will hurt you. Moving on...

13) When you're out on dates, dress comfortably.

That's not to say you can't be cute. Just be cute—and comfortable. I ruined one date because I was so self-conscious in what I was wearing that I was constantly body monitoring. I couldn't just relax and let loose. I didn't remember much of the date because I wasn't focused on the moment.