How Will We Pronounce Next Century?

Get Serious!

August 06, 1996|By TONY GABRIELE Daily Press

If you ask me, Congress has more important things to do than declaring English the official language of the United States.

Not that I object to having an official language, if it means some money will be coming in. I mean, is it going to be like those "official sponsors" of the Olympics, who fork over big bucks to become official? Will the nation's English professors have to kick in some money to get this "official" designation? Beats raising taxes. Maybe the government should get itself an official soft drink, too.

But as I said, there are more important issues for Congress to resolve. I'm thinking particularly of one issue that will affect every American, but which I have not heard any guidance on from our political leaders.

That issue is: Just how are we going to pronounce the next century?

Look, the 21st century will be here soon. It's already showing up on a lot of people's advance-planning calendars.

That's why we need an official pronunciation guide. Here's what I'm talking about:

Ten years from now, it will be the year 2006. How do you say that?

Do you say, "Two thousand and six"? That's how I hear a lot of people say it.

Or do you say, "Twenty-oh-six"? I've heard it that way, too.

This is the kind of controversy that can divide a nation.

We have to decide it one way or another though. What could sound stupider than not be sure you're pronouncing a year correctly?

I'm surprised no one in politics has seized upon this issue. Bob Dole certainly ought to, since he could use a grabber of an issue. Besides, he has said this election is about the future, and that's where the next century is located.

I would suspect that Dole, as an upholder of traditional values, would support the "twenty-oh" pronunciation. That would be in line with the venerable pronunciation standards of the past.

After all, we pronounce the year 1906 as "nineteen-oh-six," right? (Unless you're one of those old-timers who prefer "ought-six.") And we say 1806 as "eighteen-oh-six," and so on back through the centuries, including the last time we had a millennium. Everyone refers to the year when William the Conqueror invaded England as "ten-sixty-six." Not "one thousand sixty-six."

So we should continue in the same manner: eighteen-oh six, nineteen-oh-six, twenty-oh-six.

I'd expect Bill Clinton, on the other hand, to come out in favor of the "two thousand" pronunciation. As a Baby Boomer, he would of course be influenced by that movie so popular among members of his generation, the 1968 flick "2001: A Space Odyssey." Which, you'll recall, was universally pronounced by movie fans as "Two thousand and one."

It must be admitted, though, that there are pitfalls in either of these positions.

If Dole starts talking about the year 1806, every stand-up comic in the country will crack that it must be based on his personal recollection.

And mention of "2001" will remind people how many members of Clinton's generation regarded it as a "head" movie, meaning they delighted to flock to the front row of the movie theater where it was playing and let the images wash over them, usually after they had ingested curious substances. So then the comics will speculate on whether the young Clinton was inhaling while Keir Dullea battled HAL, the killer computer.

But if we're still undecided when 1999 comes to an end, I offer an alternative:

Two thousand is too high a number to bother with, anyway. Let's just treat it like an odometer rolling over, and start all over again with 1.