I Think I’m a Compulsive Liar and I May Be Depressed

Asked by IamOtaku on 2019-03-28 with 1 answer:

I’m 23 years old and I live with my parents. I keep lying to them about college. I want to major in dietetics but I keep having problems with chemistry and I need it to actually claim dietetics as my major and I’m taking the needed nutrition courses for it in the meantime. The problem though is that I need an internship for dietetics to gain experience and I can’t qualify for one until chemistry is passed. I keep lying to my parents about my graduation date. It happens without me even thinking about it! The lies just come out. Sometimes I just want to disappear and my self-esteem and confidence are at an all-time low. I feel pathetic because I’m also jealous of my 19-year-old cousin and 14-year-old brother. They know what they want to do with themselves and it took me this long to figure out what I want to do. My brother is seeing a therapist for his issues and I don’t want to add to the problems. I love my family too much to want to hurt them but every time my doubts pop into my head they sound like my entire family berating me and tearing me down even though I know they wouldn’t do that. I feel like I’m going to drive myself crazy! Disappointing them is my worst fear and I hate when I feel like I’ve done that. The year before that I had admitted to them I was lying about doing well in school and now I’ve lied to them again. I’m sorry I just needed to vent. I’d usually talk to my uncle about this but I thought I was already past all of this shit. My parents deserve a better daughter. One who doesn’t have all of these problems.

My guess is your parents are helping pay for college and they want the best for you — and that means for you to succeed. If you are really going to be a professional you’ll have to learn how to deal with people honestly and get feedback honestly. This is where you can learn more about doing that.

You’ve come this far and it sounds like you’ve done the right thing by taking the courses that come easier than chemistry. I’d recommend you talk to your parents about needing a tutor for chemistry — that it is harder than you thought. I’d also get some counseling from the college counseling center.

Each of us over time need help from others in getting to achieve what we want. Getting some therapy for emotional support and raising your self esteem while getting some help with your chemistry is the way you can move through this.

There is also a terrific book by Marie Hartwell-Walker on Self-Esteem that I think you’ll do well with. Dr. Marie is an Ask The Therapist here at PsychCentral with great insight into self esteem. I think the book will help.

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Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2019). I Think I’m a Compulsive Liar and I May Be Depressed. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 7, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/03/30/i-think-im-a-compulsive-liar-and-i-may-be-depressed/

Last updated: 28 Mar 2019 (Originally: 30 Mar 2019) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 28 Mar 2019Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.