Sit down, California, you're not going anywhere

Common sense reasons why the Calexit movement is destined to fail miserably.

It happens after every election -- sore losers embracing the I'm-taking-my-ball-and-going-home mentality connect with other sore losers in their state and start a movement to secede from the United States. It happened in Texas after Obama's election (and re-election) and it's presently happening in #California. "But this time we really mean it," say some supporters of the #Calexit movement.

I believe I speak for most [sane] Americans when I say: Sit down and shut up, California. We both know you're not going anywhere.

Come to think of it, that's the very same thing most [sane] Americans said when liberals by the boatload threatened to move to Canada if Trump became president.

And yet here we are, still stuck with the likes of Chelsea Handler and Whoopi Goldberg, like annoying houseguests who have overstayed their welcome and can't take the hint.

Calexit crowd should be careful what they wish for

The problem with Calexit is that most people who support the idea never actually stopped to think about what life would be like if they got their wish. Sure, Cali is a big state with a huge economy and more artificial breasts than you can shake a stick at, but without the federal government there's not much hope for a viable Democratic People's Republic of California.

For starters, there are over 9 million senior citizens in California. Democrats get apoplectic whenever the GOP proposes legislation that would cut Social Security programs by a few dollars. Without Uncle Sammy, there would be no Social Security whatsoever.

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If the GOP wants to throw granny over a cliff, then the Calexit crowd must want to hurtle millions of grannies into the furthest depths of space.

And what about stamps? Stamps are made by the U.S. Postal Service, not by some schmuck in Escondido. In 1991, the USPS found the printing of stamps so expensive that printing contracts were shifted to foreign companies in Canada. If the U.S. can't afford to print its own postage stamps, how is that going to work in California? And who's going to deliver the mail? And then there's the matter of currency.

Expect a mass exodus from Calexit

But the most serious consequence of Calexit would be the mass exodus of people who don't want to live in the People's Republic of California. This would probably include a few million of the state's 7.9 million Democrats and virtually all of the state's 5.2 million registered Republicans. That number might swell to something in the neighborhood of 20 million or so people once you factor in all the children of those families who, most likely, aren't going to be orphaned by their parents.That's a significant drop in population, and a significant drop in state and local tax revenue.

Do you know what you get when millions of people flee your country all at once? Syria. That's what you get.

If Calexit ever happens, heavily Republican cities like Redding, Newport Beach and Yorba Linda will look like Aleppo, Damascus, and Homs before too long. But without the exotic charm, of course.

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