I just don't worry about the people left behind!!

When I think of doing myself in, I just don't worry about the people I leave behind. I know it is very selfish. But I figure if they don't like it they can come and join me. My husband today said, just stop thinking about it, think about him and my mother and what it would do to them.

Once I thought about departing this world from work and I got dobbed in and he thought the reason I didn't go through with it was the effect on my colleagues and that thought never even entered my mind. I did not get caughter doing anything at work but merely told someone the plan I had in mind.

But on the other hand I am a very thoughtful person about other people in other areas.

Hello,
Have you thought about reconsidering? It sounds to me like you have ppl who luv you!! I don't think you have thought about this enough. You commiting is going to affect your loved ones more than you think.
You definitly need to talk with someone. You said your a thoughtfull person in other areas. Why don't you add your luv'd ones to that list. I really think you need a therapist because they can teach you coping skills so when you are really down you know what to do to bring yourself back up to a safe level.
They aren't a miracle cure, but they can make a difference. I think of death every day, the difference is I am not acting upon them right now. There are still things that will push me over the other side. I try to keep them from biteing me on the ass. I hope you seek the help you obviously need. Please think it over!!!:chopper:!!!

I know so much of this has to do with the loss of your daughter. I know you say you are not thinking about those you would leave behind, but think of how much her suicide has effected you. Would you truly want your husband and family to go through what you are? They are already fragile from before and their hell will be even worse. You still need to come to terms with all that has happened and need to complete the grieving process so you can live again. I know it isn't easy, and at this point you really don't even want to go on much of the time. Please continue to seek outside help. :hug:

I also think that I want to go and meet her on the other side, and other people who have passed.

My husband rang the work counselling area, and told them his concerns and that he had found things in my bag, and that I wanted to see another counsellor there. They said they were very light on, I don't think they really want to bother. They also said they couldn't recreate the counsellor I used to have, I wasn't expecting them too.