The Padres pitcher talked with ESPN in a profile published online Monday, explaining how a simple note on his locker to call his wife started the whole painful experience.

Correia left the Padres for several games in May after his younger brother died in a hiking accident. Trevor Correia, 21, a student at Santa Barbara City College, fell to a ledge about 60 feet below a cliff according to Channel Islands National Park officials.

A park ranger found Trevor Correia unconscious but breathing on a ledge over 200 feet above the harbor, the Ventura County Star reported. He was airlifted to an Oxnard hospital where he later died.

Trevor Correia had been drinking the day of the accident and professed his love for his girlfriend before running to the edge of the cliff, ESPN reports.

Trevor "hesitated five or six feet from the edge, and then 'ended up looking like he dove off the cliff,'" according to the report.

After learning the news, Correia tells ESPN that he wandered around a Houston mall to get out of his hotel room and try to hasten the time until sunrise when he could fly home.

He then spent the week with his family, finding ways to work their way through the tragedy. That included a memorial in the ocean off Sunset Cliffs where Correia said he and a few others spread his brother's ashes.

Eventually, Correia returned to the team and the mound at PETCO Park. Although he took a loss in his first start after the break on May 16, Kevin threw well, giving up 4 runs in 5 1/3 innings against the best offense in the National League.

In the clubhouse after the game, Correia told NBCSanDiego he was getting better every day, and it was nice to get back to baseball and his team mates.

"As a baseball player, I'm motivated to go out and pitch well,'' Kevin told ESPN. "I'll be thinking about Trevor the whole time. But I'm not going to say, 'I'm pitching for my brother.' What does that mean? It's apples and oranges."

"I would quit baseball right now to have him back. Nothing will be able to compare to that.''