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A father-daughter team designs
and renovates houses on
Philadelphia's Main Line. This
blog is Naomi's design
inspiration journal. Stay awhile
and soak in pretty spaces,
furniture finds, design projects
and a few gratuitous shots of a
pug named Bailey.

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The Bitter Decorator: Colorful Walls

Ive been thinking about starting an irregular blog series called “The Bitter Decorator,” because I’m a decorator and sometimes peoples design choices make me plain bitter. In general, I like to keep the blog a positive place, but I also try to keep it really honest too. So let me know if you like, or don’t like this direction, and based on your response, maybe I’ll tackle more topics.

PAINT COLORS. I’ve been spending a lot of time in paint stores, which proves to be an excellent place for people watching. You can tell a lot by a person by how they act in a paint store; they are ambitious, they are frugal, they are bold, they have marital problems, they are boring, they are confused… and so on. So many times I find myself wanting to step in and shout “STOP you are making a mistake! You are about to turn your room into a massive blueberry, or that beige has too much green in it, or that pink is WAY too bubblegum or that yellow is so FUG I can’t even name all the reasons its wrong.” But I don’t step in because I wasn’t asked, and usually these paint stores have their own decorating specialists and frankly, I prefer to be paid for my opinion. Unless I’m spouting it widely and loosely on my blog, of course.

Last week I watched a young lady merrily purchase a gallon of gloss purple paint in a similar hue to this, and I couldn’t help but think she is in for a Barney-like disaster.

We all remember Barney the dinosaur, right?

Here’s the thing, I bet she really likes purple. I bet she wants a colorful room and thinks WOW this purple is FUN. But there are lot’s of ways to have a fun, colorful room without painting your walls Barney purple. Now, before I go on further, I should say, that there are certain people that could take this color purple and craft a masterpiece of a room. A jewel box, a study in rich contrasts, a gorgeous space to turn my whole theory on its head. But that’s only about 5% of the population. The other 95% of us (yes I’m including myself in here) will take this wall color and turn a room into a HOT MESS. So before painting your room Barney Purple (or any other super intense hue) perhaps you should ask yourself if you are a member of the elitist decorator color club. If the answer is NO, maybe it’s a good idea to take your design scheme and make a few small adjustments.

Take your inspiration purple, and go down a few shades on your fan deck. Use that for your wall color instead.

So, you are happy because you don’t live in Barney’s magical playhouse.And I’m no longer a bitter decorator because you are making smarter color choices.Suddenly the paint store has become just a little less painful. High Five! Now, don’t mind me while I go back to eavesdropping on that couple arguing about which shade of hunter green will be less hideous in their bedroom.

Dude, you are too nice. Whenever I’m at the paint store I just start pulling swatches for people when Sanders is busy. I also see people pick some CRAZY shit and I am very pleased they do not live in my house.

YOU are so right, and so brilliant! That purple disaster was me a week or so ago. Not for my walls, but for a desk. Thank Gawd, I came to my senses before making that mistake. But the way you’ve walked us through this process was just so kind and perfect of you.Thank you.ag

P.S. – I have serious Bitter Decorator issues, too, but that’s a story for another comment

This post is amazing and sadly sooo true. My mother is one of those “decorating specialists” (but with MFA and years as a color theory professor). Sometimes I’ll hang out in the store waiting for her to finish up and just observing the “choosing paint colors” process of the customers who DECLINE professional help is mildly entertaining. Crest toothpaste green is a hugely popular color for bathrooms, dog pee yellow has a “happy aura”, vomit brown will provide “earth tones” and hide the dirt the children track in (how dirty are your children I’d like to ask). This cringe-worthy list goes on!

One time I was waiting for my color to be mixed — a warm white for my kitchen cabinets with a secret hint of pink. So pretty. So they finish up, and open up the can to put a dab on the top? OMG it is the most terrifying green-yellow-brown mess. I yelped out loud. (It turned out to be someone else’s order.) The saleswoman laughed til she cried at my reaction.

Would you believe this is how I started my blog? Seriously, I emailed a design blogger asking her opinion on a similar shade of purple that my husband wanted to paint our master bedroom and I was uneasy about it. Before she could even answer me, I wanted to compare pictures and talk it out so I started writing. Spoiler alert: Passed on purple.

Yeah “bitter” is putting it mildly. Watching that scenario drives me nutz. I usually try to stand real close to them so they ask me what I think. If so, they get at least 5 min. of complimentary “don’t do it” advice. Great Barney intervention!

SCORE. This is an 11 on the entertaining/educational 1 to 10 scale for me (c: And plus, that RUG is fantastic…I think purple is probably my least favorite color as well, but not on that rug…I could totally dig it if it was with that rug!

KEEP BITTER DECORATOR AROUND, I love this! I tried to convince someone recently to use similar advice as you gave here rather than painting their walls a bright green…They did not listen! I’m bitter too. lol

I like this post! I like your thought process….the end result was fabulous. I was laughing from the beginning because my dining room is purple…..and not because I chose it and styled it…..but it is FANTAStic…..Im away on vacation but when I get back I will email you a photo and you can let me know your thoughts….its actually pretty close to the barney one you have

Love it. As much as I’d like to think I could make a super intense hue work, it would take so much exacting talent and planning… which I probably don’t have the energy for. Do you think saturation is the main culprit here? Could adding more black or more white to your chosen hue also make it more workable? I ask because I love the idea of using dark colors, not necessarily highly saturated ones though. Like maybe a near-neutral dark gray-blue? I’m just spouting thoughts here.

You must have eyes in my house. Because I’ve made this mistake. This EXACT mistake. The Barney purple mistake. (Don’t worry, it didn’t last.) I LOVE your purple concept though! If only this post had been around a few years ago, I could have made my purple dreams come true!