Restaurant critics come in a variety of shapes, sizes and temperaments. While there is some consensus as to what the job entails and how one should go about performing it, critics practice the trade differently from city to city and outlet to outlet. If there is one truism about which you will find agreement throughout the profession, it is that you will garner no sympathy if you deign to complain about your job.

Chris Granger / The Times-Picayune

This is because restaurant criticism is, of course, the career equivalent of a bubble bath. It can turn a person soft, and in more ways than one. Which is one of the reasons I have come to appreciate the reading public's willingness to air its views about what is found under my byline.

A person who reads the e-mails and/or Internet comments (or listens to the voice mail messages) left by readers who take exception with my very existence could be excused for assuming I don't appreciate the unrosy response occasionally elicited by my "work." But they would be wrong. The thick skin required for this job is the only thing keeping me from devolving into an over-pampered human jellyfish.

So it is that I could actually see value in being welcomed to work by a message from a reader who believes, based on the opinions in a critical review of a Latin-fusion restaurant, that I consume food from an orifice not typically associated with consumption. On another day, I picked up the phone to find this gift: "It never ceases to amaze me how dumb you are."

Looking back on a year's worth of reader rage, which I do every year at this time, I'm commonly surprised by which stories elicited the most negative reactions. Take a largely glowing review of Le Meritage, which prompted one reader to write the words "Shame on you!" on a postcard addressed to me and another to accuse me of making the whole thing up. "It's the only explanation, " she said. "You couldn't have eaten at the same restaurant as us, because we found it incredible."

Occasionally readers act as public editors who catch inexcusable errors. It happened most recently after the publication of a review of Café Adelaide containing improper usage of the words principles and fair.

Art by Kenny Harrison"Homonyms are covered in middle school English class, " I was reminded. "You should think about viewing the Web site grammar.about.com before writing your next article."

Some reviews uncover particularly defensive fan bases, as was the case with a two bean assessment of Madrid, which one reader cited as evidence of my stealth campaign to halt recovery in Lakeview. "Two beans?" cried another reader. "How low-down! How could you even have printed this article?"

"You must have been smoking something fairly intense when you went to Madrid restaurant and found the paella to be not good, " concluded a raspy voiced man who claimed to be speaking for "a lot of us out here." He continued: "Jesus. We've been going there for years. We discovered it ourselves, and we've always been impressed with it being one of the best restaurants in the entire city."

He was actually prompted to call about a different story entirely, the one in which I sampled post-harvest treated oysters and compared them to untreated oysters. The fact that I failed my own blind taste test did not go unnoticed. Many saw it as indisputable proof of my unsophisticated palate. One argued that stepping down from my job would be "the only honorable thing to do" and promised to instruct the paper's editor to demand my resignation.

The publication of the annual Fall Dining Guide brought the comment section of nola.com to life, particularly in regards to my selection of the Top Ten restaurants in New Orleans.

A small sample of the bon mots:

"Absolutely ridiculous."

"Brett Anderson is so out of tune it ain't funny."

"Shame on you B.A."

"The list is so predictable, why bother even publishing it?"

Not everyone bears words of discouragement. Around the same time readers were voicing their displeasure with the Top Ten, one fellow called to say, "I just want to congratulate you on this Dining Guide. It is just great. It's brilliant, really."

He went on like that -- "Keep up the good work" etc. -- and I have to admit to taking some pleasure in hearing the kind words. It's also possible he was being sarcastic.

Happy Holidays.

Brett Anderson can be reached at banderson@timespicayune.com or 504.826.3353. Follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/BrettAndersonTP