[rhetoric-list] CALLING ALL WORDOPHILES...

I just _had_ to pass this on!
Wesley Parish
---------- Forwarded Message ----------
Subject: [rhetoric-list] CALLING ALL WORDOPHILES...
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 04:39
From: anon@anon.anon
To: anon@anon.anon
Friends--I send this only to make you laugh, lift your spirits, and
wordophiles will especially want to take note. See HOW I MET MY WIFE
below.--Peggy
Being Positive in a Negative World
The following is from PBS's Car talk and might be worth
sharing with others who may have wondered about the missing positive
versions of many negative constructions in English.
The Tappet brothers also discussed the phenomenon that while double
negatives become positive in English and remain negative in other
languages, double positives never become negative - yeah, right.
------------------------------------
How I Met My Wife
by Jack Winter
Published July 25, 1994 in The New Yorker
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very
chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her
standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a
state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and
she moved in a gainly way. I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew
I'd have to make bones about it since I was travelling cognito.
Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of,
was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad
happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my
manners couldn't be peccable.
Only toward and heard-of behavior would do. Fortunately, the
embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable.
There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable
as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were
slim.
I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold
a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion. So I decided
not to risk it.
But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my
direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads and tails of. I
was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it
nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen.
Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt
capacitated as if this were something I was great shakes at, and forgot
that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of
times.
So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my
way through the ruly crowd with strong givings. Nevertheless, since this
was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I
was petuous.
Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the
hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and
perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself. She responded well, and I
was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some
good. She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said
advertently.
The conversation became more and more choate, and we spoke at length to
much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I
asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal.
We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have
given her my love, and she has requited it.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<snip>
--
Wesley Parish
* * *
Clinersterton beademung - in all of love. RIP James Blish
* * *
Mau e ki, "He aha te mea nui?"
You ask, "What is the most important thing?"
Maku e ki, "He tangata, he tangata, he tangata."
I reply, "It is people, it is people, it is people."