County Fair: Walkthrough Part 1

The County Fair has started and Homer is ready to compete, but someone else steals the show? Join us right after the jump for the first part of the event walkthrough.

Pride and Pageantry Intro

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Homer: Flanders, what’s this big pumpkin-y looking pumpkin next to my hammock?
Ned: Praise the gourd! One of my seeds must’ve Exodus-ed its way to your yard and sprouted!
Homer: Well get it out of here, that’s where I throw my empty beer cans.
Ned: Surely! The dregs of your devil’s brew fertilized it into the biggest pumpkin of the bunch! It’s sure to win first prize at the County Fair.
Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, first prize? Are you trying to take credit for my hard work?! My yard, my pumpkin!
Homer: Now buzz off. Farmer Homer has to do some gardening.

Task: Make Homer Drink and Throw Empties Out the WindowTime: 6sLocation: Simpson HouseTask: Make Flanders Do Normal Gardening Work Like a SuckerTime: 6sLocation: Flanders Home

Ned: Wow, Homer, that pumpkin’s even bigger than before. You’ve sure got a green thumb!
Homer: I’ll show you ANOTHER finger if you keep bugging me while I’m drinking.

Pride and Pageantry Pt. 1

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Homer: Out of the way, losers! Future award-winning pumpkin coming through!
Ned: Homer, that trash talking’s not really in the spirit of friendly competition.
Homer: Maybe if you paid more attention to your crops and less to my crap-talking, you’d have bigger gourds.
Ned: Could you at least try not to stomp on other contestants’ vegetables?

Quimby: Homer, your gourd is the largest.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Quimby: …but it’s technically more alcohol than pumpkin, so you are disqualified.
Homer: D’oh!
Quimby: …but your pumpkin won first place in the home brewing competition.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Pride and Pageantry Pt. 2

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Quimby: This fair is not going well. The carnies aren’t even having turf wars!
Lisa: I have an idea to get people excited.
Quimby: Let me guess, Lisa, some sort of recycling drive?
Lisa: No, it’s–
Quimby: What, you want to knit a quilt for some second-tier disease no one’s heard of?
Lisa: No, that’s not what I–
Quimby: We don’t have time to listen to some dumb little girl’s ideas.
Lisa: I WAS TALKING ABOUT HAVING A BEAUTY PAGEANT!
Quimby: Everybody shut up, the dumb little girl has a great idea! Get my judging sash!

Task: Make Quimby Find His Sash That Says “JUDGE”Time: 3hLocation: Town HallTask: Make Lisa Prepare the Stage for the PageantTime: 3hLocation: Town HallTask: Earn Prize Ribbons [x325]

Tuxedo Krusty: Welcome everyone, to the Little Miss Springfield Pageant!
Quimby: Did he say, “Little Miss”? This is not the pageant I wanted!
Marge: Lisa, honey, get off the stage. You can protest later.
Lisa: I’m not protesting the pageant — I’m in it!

Pride and Pageantry Pt. 3

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Marge: Lisa, I’m happy you want to compete in the pageant, but… have you been eating your father’s booze pumpkin?
Lisa: Mom, I can only win so many spelling bees, geography bees, and bee-raising bees. I want to be in a fun contest with girls my own age.
Quimby: All the girls your own age dropped out because they thought you were going to throw paint on them to protest fake fur.
Lisa: Fake fur is manslaughter!
Quimby: Yes, well, since you’re the only one left, you are the new Little Miss Springfield.
Little Miss Springfield: Wow, I don’t know what to say!
Quimby: You can start by officiating the livestock competitions.

Little Miss Springfield: This magnificent bovine takes top prize!
Cow: …
Little Miss Springfield: What becomes of a prize-winning bull?
Farmer: Steak, hamburger, and — just between you and me — tofu.

Pride and Pageantry Pt. 4

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Little Miss Springfield: I can’t choose the animals that get led to slaughter!
Quimby: You must! It says so in the bylaws. It also says you’re in charge of managing the town’s DVR.
Little Miss Springfield: County fairs should champion progressive values of the twenty-first century like organic foods, sustainable farms, and free-range livestock.
Farmer: I think you’re confusing the twenty-first century with the twentieth. Nowadays people only care about putting sriracha on things.
Ned: Normally, I’d side with Lisa, but I do love a burger topped with spicy chili sauce.
Homer: Finally, something stupid Flanders and I can agree on!

Homer: That hit the spot. I could go for a hot dog next!
Farmer: Those won’t be ready until the “Miscellaneous” animal category is judged.

Pride and Pageantry Pt. 5

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Little Miss Springfield: This is terrible!
Farmer: Lisa, don’t think of yourself as the judge who sentenced these animals to slaughter. Think of yourself as a DIFFERENT judge who denied their appeal.
Little Miss Springfield: That’s it, I can’t sit by anymore while we butcher animals in the name of “community”.
Little Miss Springfield: It’s time to use a public position for something it was never intended for: a voice for change and awareness.

Farmer: Who knew the farmin’ business would be so controversial? First, they stole our markets, now this.
Farmer: If’n someone could find the funds to buy my place, well, they could have it, headache and all.
Little Miss Springfield: Is that so?