Quiz: Are You Going To Be A Virgin Until You Die?

If you haven’t had sex yet, chances are good that, every now and then, you find yourself being preoccupied by one specific, damaging thought –that it’s going to be this way for the rest of your life. You know, like, all of your friends will start having sex, one by one, and you’ll be the only one among them who hasn’t done it yet. Forever.

I’m going to go ahead and give you a little results spoiler here–chances are good that, unless you have entered into a binding virginity pact with some omniscient wizard that ensures that a bolt of lightning will smite you if you so much as think of having sex, you’re not going to be a virgin until you die. I promise. And, even if you were, who even cares? Sex is cool and all, but it’s hyped up in our society as the end-all be-all of pleasure, something that you should be pursuing each and every day, and, if it isn’t happening to you, you’re nothing but a big ol’ loser.

And, frankly? This isn’t true. Life has a lot more to offer you than some occasional ~lovemaking~ (sorry), and, if you feel like your desire to have sex is minimizing your desire to do other things, you need to take a deep breath and chill the hell out. But, hey. You didn’t open this quiz to get a morality lecture from me. You came her to find out, once and for all, if you’re going to be a virgin forever. So, with that settled, take this quiz to find out if you’re actually going to be a virgin until the day you die: