Meet Rosie and Janeane. Two wacky women with more issues than the New York Times has had canceled in the last three years. Make no mistake. These are seriously screwed up chicks.

Let’s take them apart. Rosie…the most honest person in America. Wait…not so much. This is a women who pretended to be in love with Tom Cruise in order to alleviate fears that she was gay. Guess what, she was. Guess what, I really do not care. I wanted someone honest. I know that there were idiots and small-minded morons out there who went berserk when Ellen came out of the closet. Yet, most of us did not care. She was funny and seemed to be a decent human being. Further, she did not pretend to be something she was not. Dearest Rosie, on the other hand, pretended to straight in order to save her fledgling career.

Let’s talk more about Rosie. This is THAT Rosie. The one who went crazy on Donald Trump and was subsequently rejected from the view. This is the same Rosie that even the ever opportunist Barbara Walters had trouble defending. Let’s just do a top 5 of most stupid things that Rosie has done recently.

5. Accused Paula Abdul of having Parkinson’s Disease. Very classy. I mean I have no doubt that those with Parkinson’s love to be a punchline.

4. Uses strange lyrical poetry coupled with horrible text grammar to speak to her fans. Seriously, I appreciate the use of slang as much as the next person but the ability to form a complete sentence is still given deference by some of us. One has to wonder if her need to pretend to be a teenager is secretly a cry to touch one. Oh wait, I am the one making things up now. In order to avoid a lawsuit (we know she needs the money) I will say this was all in fun.

3. Her inability to be open-minded. Ironic, is it not? The person who bitches and moans because others belittle those she loves is actually the one who is intolerant and simply mean. Compare these two statements:

﻿”With Rosie it is always fun, real, and true”. Elisabeth Hasselbeck

﻿”I’ve got to tell you, I have been hanging around those heteros for a year and it’s not fun. Turn around one minute and they will stab you in the back with a high heel”. Rosie O’Donell

Simply amazing.

2. Rosie turned down the Price is Right. Okay, technically this is a thing to be thankful for but I also think it shows her intelligence. With a career in the toilet and a face for the radio, Rosie should be jumping at the chance to do something like TPIR. Instead, she claimed that moving to LA would be too stressful and tough on her and her family.

1. This wonderful mother who worried so much about moving her family across the country dressed her eight year-old up in terrorist-like clothing. Yes, folks. She even included a bandoleer. It was assumed that she posted this picture as a way to make a statement about how she feels about the wars in the Middle East. Right. So I guess she is suggesting that if we do not stop fighting the people that she has actually defended, she will have her adopted daughter blow us up. Very mature.

Now, let’s talk about Janine. This one will be short and sweet. It will. Janeane has major problems.

First of all, it is pretty much common knowledge that she needs medication to just stay on the same plain as the rest of us. But, so be it–many do. I unlike her will not lambast her and call her a junkie or pill popper. Nor will I suggest that even chemically altered she still has a pretty damn skewed view of society. Nope, not me.

I think my very very very very favorite thing that Janeane has done as of late is her depiction of any person that has visited a Tea Party event. In essence, she accused every person that has an issue with current policies a backwards, violent, racist, inbred moron. While this is not only rude and untrue, it is also a rather pathetic argument against a people that you obviously disagree with. OMG, I just ended that sentence in a preposition, perhaps that makes me racist or rednecky. Seriously, by her argument, anyone who disagreed with Bush’s policies (including the anti-war get-togethers that she attended, is also a racist, ignorant, inbred, insert whatever rude liberal label you like.

But wait, did not the other side of the isle folks allow you your moment to bitch? Yes, as a matter of fact—many defended your right to do so. Define ironic.

At what point will we actually be able to have a thoughtful conversation?