Dating, Deal Breaker’s, Do’s and Dont’s

Step into any supermarket in February and you will be reminded of an important date. All you have to do is walk into the nearest aisle and you will quickly spot the endless options of candy, flowers, teddy bears, and bright colors of red and pink. This day, for many, is a celebration of love, especially for those who have been hit by cupid’s arrow.

If you have been hit by cupid, Valentine’s Day is most likely a day filled with romance, fun, and spending time with your significant other. For others, this day is just Feb. 14, and an average Sunday.

So now that Valentine’s Day is over and the red and pink M&M’s are on sale, what’s the next move for those in the dating scene? University of San Diego students shared their thoughts on dating experience, dating do’s and don’ts, and anything they felt needed to be known regarding relationships.

First, let’s talk about dating deal-breakers. Love is a truck and an open road,
Somewhere to start and a place to go. However, after that horrible first-date, this open road seems to dead end with nothing good in sight.

Junior Samantha Seibt knows from personal experience that the number one deal breaker in dating is cheating. Samantha’s first relationship ended very badly after finding out that her ex had another girlfriend during the time he was dating her.

“Cheating is freaking rude,” Seibt said. “To both sides. It can create trust issues for years.”

Senior Patrick Zimmer also agreed with Samantha on the concept of cheating. He is a strong believer in personal freedom, but knows that cheating is a boundary you don’t cross.

“I want my girl to be as free as she wants to be,” Zimmer said. “If she really loves me, she wouldn’t cheat anyways. She can do whatever she wants and what makes her happy, but cheating shouldn’t be one of these things. In a happy relationship you still need freedom, especially in college, so you can develop your own personality.”

While cheating may be an obvious deal-breaker, some students think that without a sense of humor, they wouldn’t be able to get past the first date.

Senior Tayler Nunez believes that humor is key to any relationship and if the other person has no sense of humor, then the relationship is not nearly as fulfilling.

“They need to be able to hang with my friends and I need to like their friends and preferably all hang together,” Nunez said. “They have to make me laugh, if they have no sense of humor it won’t be fun and I don’t like that.”

Similarly to Nunez, junior Jack Minnick finds a strong personality and comical side to be a big part of any relationship especially when beginning to date someone.

“I am constantly trying to stay positive,” Minnick said. “I need someone who can laugh with me and if they don’t have a good sense of humor, then it is not happening.”

Many students at USD have held long-distance relationships. For some students, this is a dating do, if you are really in love with the person.

Senior Annalysa Vasquez is currently in a long-distance relationship, which she has maintained for two years. Her current boyfriend is a international DJ and travels all around the world. To Vasquez, long-distance dating is a dating do.

“Although long distance can be challenging at times, it is so worth it,” says Vasquez. “It can be challenging, but we make it work. My best advice for people that do long distance, is know your ends, know where you want the relationship to go and don’t be afraid to talk about anything or everything”.

Senior Patrick Zimmer doesn’t seem to agree on this.

Zimmer came to USD from Germany three years ago and tried 2 ½ years of long distance with his girlfriend at the time. After a year of long-distance, Zimmer knew that he had to end the relationship, due to the fact that they could only see each other once or twice a year.

“Find someone that you really love, and don’t settle for someone that you don’t love with your entire heart, just because of the fear of not finding someone else, or for some other reasons,” Zimmer said. “As long as it feels right, and you really love that person and the person loves you everything else doesn’t really matter.”

Besides deal breakers and dating musts, some USD students expressed other positives that help progress and reinforce relationships.

Senior Courtney Murphy has been in a relationship for some time now and thinks technology has helped to strengthen her long-distance relationship.

“After Facetime became a thing, Will and I are constantly using that to stay connected and close,” Murphy said. “Even though it is not the same as being next to the person, it allows you to see them and makes you feel even just a bit closer than simply talking over the phone.”

Senior Hannah Guggisberg discussed the role of technology in a different light.

“I’ve seen so many friends get hurt over seeing their ex or current partner doing something on social media like being tagged in a photo or seen in a snapchat that didn’t portray them in the best light and could hurt their relationship,” Guggisberg said. “This can be really detrimental to the relationship, unfortunately, because social media is so big these days and you never know what other people might post.”

If you are currently dating someone, in a relationship, or looking for the right person to spend time with, look out for those dating deal-breakers, do’s, don’ts, and anything else that strikes you as good or bad.

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