During our last secret Twitchy Russian meeting, in between eating cookies baked by one of our fearless editors and watching ‘Red Heat,’ we all stopped to take a look at Ron Pearlman’s timeline … and laughed.

Ok, so if you’re sane and not aware, Ron Pearlman has accused Twitchy of not only being a drug site (because twitchy?) but also of being funded or run by Russian operatives. Apparently, anyone who would make fun of Hellboy for saying silly things on Twitter can’t be legit.

Seriously, how does he expect us not to make fun of THIS?

Sure, that’ll make Texans vote for Beto. Way to go, Ron.

Our turn: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Ron Perlman. We’ll be here all week folks, be sure and tip your waitress.

Bartender: You two see that crusty old lady with saggy boobs sitting in the corner?