Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Photoworthy: wedding KFC & root beer

She died doing what they loved: drinking and driving fast

The sister of one of three people killed last week says "really isn't a shock to any of us" that her brother died in a high-speed crash. "The thing that really makes me feel much better about this is they died doing what they loved to do -- they were drinking, they were going fast and they were together. It gives me comfort, it does, to know those three things." » Read the full article here

Cloverfield the movie: You may throw up. Also, you can make a difference in a child's life.

Lesbian cuisine?

Dude poops on neighbors clothes, shoes, any everything else.

A man who defecated on the clothing and shoes of neighbors was charged yesterday with the repulsive, month-long soiling spree.

Ronnie Ballard, 19, is facing misdemeanor charges for ruining the items, which were in the laundry room and hallways of a Madison apartment building that is next door to Ballard's residence.

According to a criminal complaint filed in Dane County Circuit Court, Ballard defecated on two occasions in a washing machine, ruining a comforter, baby clothing, and other garments. Ballard, is also charged with defecating in the tennis shoes and boots of building residents, who had left the footwear outside their apartment doors. » Article here

Photoworthy: free at last

Holy jeez this thing is huge (it's an earth mover)

Specifications:~ The mover stands 311 feet tall and 705 feet long.~ It weighs over 45,500 tons~ Cost $100 million to build~ Took 5 years to design and manufacture~ 5 years to assemble.~ Requires 5 people to operate it.~ The Bucket Wheel is over 70 feet in diameter with 20 buckets,each of which can hold over 530 cubic feet of material.~ A 6-foot man can stand up inside one of the buckets.~ It moves on 12 crawlers (each is 12 feet wide, 8' high and 46 feet long).There are 8 crawlers in front and 4 in back.It has a maximum speed of 1 mile in 3 hours (1/3 mile/hour).~ It can remove over 76,455 cubic meters each day.(100,000 large dump trucks at 40yds. each)

University gets $590k to study belching cows?

A Swedish university has received $590,000 in research funds to measure the greenhouse gases released when cows belch.

About 20 cows will participate in the project run by the Swedish University for Agricultural Sciences.

Cattle release methane, a greenhouse gas believed to contribute to global warming, when they digest their food. Researchers believe the level of methane released depends on the type of food the eat. » Full article here

Don't worry, keep your chin up.

Dude driving naked loses his g-friend and SUV.

A Seattle driver who was arrested last summer in unusual circumstances — both he and his passenger were naked — has ended up paying a price for his passion.

The driver, Jan Peter Pawluskiewicz, 19, appeared in court Thursday. In that episode, a state trooper stopped a sport-utility vehicle about 1:20 a.m. he noticed the vehicle drifting across traffic lanes. When the trooper approached the couple inside, he found they both were naked and trying to stash an empty wine bottle.

The driver was charged with driving under the influence and reckless driving. Pawluskiewicz pleaded guilty to reduced charges of first- and second-degree negligent driving. King County District Court ordered 24 months of probation; a 90-day jail term, which was suspended; attendance at a DUI victims' panel; and fines that totaled $1,718.

His family presented documentation showing that his SUV has been donated to a charity. And, Jacke was told, the young man's girlfriend has left him."The price he paid at home was far greater than what he paid in court," said the judge. » Article here

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."