If you’re like me, this might be the most boring sports week of the year. There’s no real baseball going on, no college sports, and the NBA and the NFL are still locked out. Short of the women’s World Cup, there’s nothing going on in the world of organized professional athletics. I spent last night trying to get a Jonas Brother bot to retweet me. (I failed. There aren’t any, or they won’t retweet me.)

Which leaves me with the All Star Game — which I actually enjoy. I understand that it’s a meaningless exhibition game. But every baseball game is ultimately a meaningless exhibition game. So it’s really not that different. And it should be a little fun to watch Roy Halladay try to mow through Adrian Gonzalez, Jose Bautista, and Josh Hamilton. If only because there’s nothing else on.

So in the name of boredom, here’s a quick guide to the two squads, the NL and the AL. These are the players who are actually on the final rosters and eligible to play, to the best of my knowledge:

Park: Chase Field. Friendly to both lefthanded and righthanded batters, the Diamondback’s home is good for extra base hits of all varieties. An equal opportunity hitter’s park.

Maybe the best possible pitching match up: Halladay is the best pitcher in the game, and Weaver has a case as the best pitcher in his league. (As do Justin Verlander and Felix Hernandez — please, no angry comments.) The Angels’ righty is a lanky fly ball pitcher with disappearing changeup; Halladay is a master of the cutter and a ground ball machine. Weaver’s fly ball tendencies might not play as well in the desert air, but then again he’s only allowed five home runs all season against Halladay’s eight. Also, Halladay is the one who has to face Jose Bautista.

I know it’s the All Star game, but there’s still a 50% chance Doc goes the distance.

NLManager: Bruce Bochy, San Francisco.Does he have facial hair? Yes. A stylish goatee.

Even for an All Star team, this isn’t a good defensive group. The left side of the infield is Gold Glove worthy, but the rest of the team runs from average to awful – basically anything hit down the first base line is an automatic triple. The obvious move would be to flip Carlos Beltran and Lance Berkman at DH and right field, but roster restrictions and so on. The defense should improve as the replacements come in, except on the left side of the infield, which is going to see Pablo Sandoval and Starlin Castro, two questionable defenders, play the second half of the game.

Question: Would you take anyone in the (Mariano Rivera free) American League bullpen over any of these six? There are good relievers in the AL, they just didn’t make the All Star team. This is the National League’s only advantage, having the five or six best relief pitchers in this game (and the only lefty reliever in Jonny Venters).

No left fielders, and just about everyone is a decent defender, so the National League’s run prevention is going to go into shutdown mode around the 7th inning. I’ll take the NL in a late comeback victory.

These are the shortstops in the All Star game this season: Troy Tulowitzki, Starlin Castro, Asdrubal Cabrera, and Johnny Peralta — all deserving players having good seasons. But look at those names. Tulo is the only one in Jose Reyes’ stratosphere at the moment. Reyes is not only the best shortstop in baseball right now; he’s the best shortstop by a huge margin.

The American League lineup is better than the National League with both the bats and the gloves. It’s a couple of Gold Glovers at the infield corners, two center fielders in the outfield, and a human highlight reel at shortstop – plus, whereas the National League lineup was hurt by the injury to Jose Reyes, the American League might have benefited by gaining Asdrubal Cabrera and Adrian Beltre over the left side of the Yankees’ infield.

(Whoops. Price is scratched with turf toe.) Josh Beckett, Felix Hernandez, and C.J. Wilson are my guesses. The actual AL relievers aren’t very good, and there are no lefties, so it seems likely that Ron Washington uses starters deep into the game — particularly Wilson, who is his own pitcher and a former reliever.

Congratulations to Matt Wieters for being the first All Star ever elected due to hype from two years ago. There’s a bigger drop off from the AL starters to the AL bench than there is between the NL starters and their bench, so the NL is going to get comparatively better as the game goes on. I’m still picking the NL in a late comeback victory.