Freedom Friday. Freedom to truly love toughly. •
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Do you show tough love or do you love toughly?
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I had this rather longer thought.
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Sometimes we show love by just being there and when things aren’t going well for the other person, we console and go down to their level...but that’s not enough anymore. The people we love deserve more. When you love toughly to your spouse, family, friends, clients, etc, it means to me that you are going to love them fiercely enough to lead them on a path to a positive life. You are not just sitting in the stands of their arena, but instead, down in the dirt with them in the center of their arena. This is not pushing, this is not harsh, this is not bossing them or criticizing, but instead pulling and leading. •
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Going forward, when you are leading or having a conversation with someone you care about and they are off their path a bit, sometimes we want to be caring and assure them it’s going to be okay and not spark change or actually speak on the little voice in the back of our mind that wants to be heard. From now on, act on that voice.
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Who can you love toughly to in your life? Who’s arena do you need to get out stands and down into the dirt?
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That is all #passiton#relationships#bebold#lovetough#toughlove#love#freedom#arena#theodoreroosevelt#leadlikeagirl#wdmo#northwesternmutual#courage#leadership#entrepreneurlife

Question for you...what’s your relationship like? 💕 I’d really like to know. I’m finding more and more weird looks these days from business colleagues when we tell them that we are partners in business and in life and that it’s friggin awesome. We gym together. We eat breakfast together. We race kids to school together, strategize in meetings all day together, church, work, sleep and eat together. In meetings, he can finish my sentences. In parenting, I know the lecture he’ll pull out when he’s about to give it to one of our girls. And I’m pretty sure he knows me better than I know myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I know this isn’t for everyone. I’d really love to know what type of relationship you have with your partner/spouse. Do you need space? Or do you hate being a part? Let’s hear it.

Want to share some hypothesis from a book I'm reading now. The book is called "The flight from intimacy", written by Barry K. and Janae Weinhold. As developmental psychilogists they dedicated their life to studies of developmental trauma and it's influence on relational structures and patterns later in life of an individual.
They say that in order to reach the "psychic birth", a child has to pass through 4 levels of evolution:
1. Co-dependency (till around 16 months )
2. Counter-dependancy (16 months to 3 years )
3. Independence (3-6 years )
4. Interdependence (6-29 years )
If one of this steps hadn't complete successfully, if there were some traumatic experience, a child remains on the same level, even if the child is 40 years old. To completely finish the becoming, one has to live the unfinished levels again.
What I find incredible (and somehow, it resonates with my belief that everything is energy ) - the fact that an individual during his life will "attract" people, who would help him to "finish the process". Along with the fear of encountering memories of trauma, there is often a phenomenon that contributes to the fact, that trauma draw people. The natural process of human learning is based on the repetition of actions until the trauma is healed. Freud called it forced repetition. We are attracted to what we fear. In this way we can heal.
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#counterdependance#heal#intimacy#psychology#relationships

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What scares you?
Very openly heart felt yin yoga class this morning in @yogahub Castleknock ❤️
I felt inspired by a @yoga_girl podcast I am currently listening to. Hit me right in the heart. FEAR. What are you scared of? Not spiders and all that. But on a deeper level. I opened my biggest fear to the class. I decided to be vulnerable, I closed my eyes and spoke my truth, a few tears filled my eyes. But if you can’t be an honest guide then what’s the point? So.... Love is my biggest fear. Yep. Falling in love and having it stripped away from me. Constantly belittling myself “why me?” Feeling not very worthy of love. Why do I deserve to be this happy when others are suffering? The worry of disappointing people that I love. The fear of being abandoned. Of being left. Of being cast aside. The what if’s. Watching couples around me growing up tearing each other apart. Not just relationships but other loves in my life too. Being scared to accept the unknown. But I face them with an open heart. I keep it open and ride the wave. The fear doesn’t go away. I observe it, I acknowledge it but then I TRY to decide to move past it. I am worthy. I am loved. I am allowed to be happy. I am never alone. Misery doesn’t have to be a part of life.
So, What scares you? Honestly.....

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If you know me AT ALL, then you’re well aware of my ridiculous adoration of taxidermy. And art. Especially mixed media pieces. 😍😍😍 This artist IS THE DAMN DEAL- what’s good, #fiveyearplan ? #chrisrobertsantieau#neworleans Google him- but don’t you fucking buy this one. 👏👏👏

I’m so glad to have my sister Denise on our team for the Soul Work Rx. As a therapist she’s an expert in sex and relationships and babyyyy when I tell you she don’t play!! She’s my go to, she’s going to be helping us in communication, setting healthy boundaries and so much more. The one thing I know about my sister is that she is passionate about helping people but especially those of color be able to gain freedom and be comfortable when it comes to sex.
Apply today! #linkinmybio#healthiswealth#mentalhealthawareness#therapy#sex#relationships#boundaries#womensretreat

No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.
Isaiah 54 : 17

We all desire intimacy, but it comes with a price. The Porcupine’s Dilemma: how do we huddle together for warmth when life is cold, but avoid hurting each other or losing ourselves? Our attachment style is the preferred closeness or distance we have to others, especially in intimate relationships. It’s the space that “just feels right” to us. Counseling can help shed light on your relationship choices, allowing you to anticipate potential conflicts and expand your comfort zone. What’s your style?

I was asked by two guys arguing recently (walked into the middle of their conversation, you could say )...and one of them said, "Kim, if you were in a relationship how would you treat your guy?" Me: (??? ) You might be asking the wrong person because I don't "see" relationships the same as everyone else...but I would treat any guy the way I would want to be treated.
The one guy to the other guy: "SEE! She doesn't expect this and that!!!"
Me: I definitely don't expect ANYTHING from anyone, surest way to get yourself hurt. Expectations are a co-dependency, an insecurity...and those I am not. Most people are, unfortunately. When you throw obligations and expectations into the mix, that says to me, "I need to find a way to tie this down because I'm afraid...afraid of losing you, afraid of betrayal..." untrusting, fear of abandonment, these are all unhealthy manipulative ways to control another. People blindly go along with these unhealthy behaviors. For myself, I would have none of it. There must be a meeting of the minds....an equal give and take. If someone wants to go hang with their friends, or wants to fly off to Geneva, it should be OK. There needs to be trust, communication and loyalty. People get into, and stay, in toxic relationships because they believe that's all they are worthy of. Until they learn, that isn't what love truly is. We hail people who have been married 25, 45, 59 years like it is some milestone that their love stood the test of time when in truth over 90% couldn't fucking stand each other. By the way, these unions are not blessed by God, that was their human free will choice to go AGAINST what God had planned for them...they all realize this at the end of their lives and some even verbally ADMIT it to family members. Thus, these earthly love relationships are not based on true unconditional love that I "see" they are supposed to be. With true unconditional love, even when there is anger or upset, there is always love and forgiveness. THOSE are the one's that are truly blessed.
#unconditionallove#love#truelove#truth#trust#wisdom#free#independent#twinflame#empower#relationships#authentic#beautifulheart#beautifulsoul#loyalty

DROP 🎭THE 🎭MASK 🎭
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Every human on this planet has the core desire to be seen and heard. 🥰
Yet, we don’t allow ourselves to be seen and heard.
We wear masks.🎭 IF that really is a core desire, then why do we hide? 🤔
Because of fear. 🙈
Fear of being rejected, abandoned, or hurt… 💔💔 AGAIN.
I am sure every person reading this post can relate to being hurt in the past by a relationship. Oftentimes it seemed easier to hide ourselves, wear our masks, instead of risking the hurt again.
All through my twenties, and the beginning of my thirties, I wore a mask. I wore one because I thought that it was not safe to allow someone to truly seen and hear me. 💔 Wearing a mask was preventing me from having true, authentic, healthy relationships. 💔 Wearing a mask attracted the wrong type of men into my life. 💔 Wearing a mask created a barrier for connection. 💔 Wearing a mask hid the fact I was so ashamed of all my past. 💔 Wearing a mask hurt.
Fortunately for me, the mask I was wearing was too heavy, so I had to drop it.
It didn’t serve me anymore.
Dropping the mask = self-acceptance ♥️♥️ I fully accept and embrace myself, including my shadow side. I know that I have a dark side that is loaded with all sort of interesting shortcomings, and I accept that I am just like every one else who has a shadow side also.
In times that I feel threatened, my tendency is to want to pick up my mask and wear it.
Parade around like nothing can hurt me, and I don’t need you to see and hear me.
The truth is… It’s easy to wear a mask. 😳
Anyone can do it. 😂
But it’s brave to take the mask off and let someone see inside you. 👏🏼👏🏼 After I learned to accept and love myself, it was easier to let my guard down.
Self acceptance, knowing my dark and light, strengths and weaknesses and OWNING the fuck out of WHO I AM, all of it! Certainly, this human being can get caught up into wanting to have your approval, but that’s a neighborhood in my mind that I don’t visit very often. It took years of self-love, and self acceptance, being gentle and patient with myself to be comfortable with dropping my mask.
Continued below 👇🏼👇🏼

I know some of you have had a tough week. 😅
I know this, because you told me. Sometimes life seems overwhelming, and you can barely keep your head above water. 😫
It’s ok love.
Guess what?
It’s F-R-I-D-A-Y‼️
The weekend is almost here for you!🙌🏼
So here’s your reminder to breathe. Put your hand over your heart, close your eyes, and breathe in love, and exhale the bullshit. Because anything but LOVE is bullshit. All there IS is love, and the rest is bullshit. 🤣
When I am feeling overwhelmed, scattered, fearful, worried, or anxious the best thing for me to do is to return to my breath. My breath is always here for me and I can carry it wherever I go.
So here’s your reminder.🤩
Put your hand over your heart.
Close your eyes.
Inhale love.♥️
Exhale the bullshit.🗣
And remember, its fucking Friday! 👏🏼💥
So its all good baby!✨🦄
Love you all!❤️
@keleelove

There comes a time where you decide you deserve more, deserve better, and you decide for yourself and for your well being that you will let go. After spending so long holding on to something that just isnt working. Breaking your skin open, adjusting your grip, tightening your hold. Breaking your heart again, and patching it up half heartedly. Keeping this close, keeping it there all the time. Because you love it. Because maybe you feel you need it to go on for another day. Because maybe your comfortable and just don't want to make a change. Or perhaps you've been purposefully not seeing the issues so you dont have to address them.
Recognize these things. These relationships, circumstances, lifestyles that are not serving you. That are not making you happy.
You don't have to keep going because you're scared to change things. You dont have to keep holding on because you may not want to hurt the other persons feelings. You dont have to make it about everyone else, worrying about how they might react to your choice to move on.
This is your life. This is your time.
Make it what you want no matter the cost. It's ok to be afraid to do it, that's normal. But don't waste anymore time holding onto the things that arent making you happy or contributing to the life you're wanting to live.
Make the change! Turn your life around! You are never too old, and it is never too late 🖤

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Memories from holiday of: @eljackson ~~~~~~~~
What do you think of this spot?
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Don't forget to:
> Follow @holidayleave > Double tap if you like and comment your thoughts!
> Tag your travel partner and share this destination with your friends
> Have a look on photographer's account for more amazing content
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21 hours ago

YES

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22 hours ago

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