Main menu

Category Archives: Self Help

Post navigation

YAY!!!! I feel wonderful. It’s just that simple, I. feel. wonderful. The simple words, 10 Day Transformation, are the cause of this. Purium is the cause of this. I feel amazing. I know it’s only day 3, I still have … Continue reading →

Today did not start out well at all. I hadn’t bought enough of the things I knew I’d want to eat, my eldest seems to LOVE my cucumber slices… and I woke up hungry, with the wonderfully delicious smell of … Continue reading →

to a “Healthier Me”. Today is the 24 of July and I started my ’10-Day Celebrity Transformation’. I decided, after looking up a lot of things and reading many more items, that this is probably my one shot to being … Continue reading →

“With most health conditions, there is variance in a treatment plan based on the unique conditions of one’s illness. For example, we know there are 14 types of breast cancer, and each may have a very different course of treatment. But with obesity, it’s one size fits all: Eat less. Exercise more. Repeat.

This has been apparent to me for a very long time. Just seeing the different people in my family that either worked on toning their body, keeping in shape, loosing a little weight, or trying to loose a lot of weight made this idea completely transparent to me. The things that worked for one or more did not work for all.

Eating less and working out more actually caused me to gain more weight, counting calories turned me into a zombie with no energy. Diet pills were not good for me either, the PA at my local clinic was a life saver there. And yet the doctors continued to state the same rhetoric over and over, “Eat less and exercise more”. My body chemistry wasn’t working with that and it wasn’t until I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism that I started to loose weight and keep it off for a few years.
I truly hope that this continues to be a continuous debate within the medical world, as well as the weight-loss world.

Blessings and Warm Wishes to All,
~Ya-ya~ ❤

(Please read Amy Capetta’s article to learn more about the different categories.)

Every new day is a black page to be wrote upon, each chapter a new year. What you wish to fill those pages and chapters of your book with is up to you.

Recently I was approached by the admin of Beautiful Outlaws about joining a group on Facebook that she had set up. The idea she has for this group is “helping each other succeed in our New Year’s resolutions”, a group to help eachother stay motivated, and to be the “cheerleaders” for eachother. She asked each of us to introduce ourselves and to state what our goals were for the year. This was not a hard request, but it did make me realize that I hadn’t even thought about them. I had no goals for the New Year. Now that I sat and thought about what I should do, all of the choices I had of things to focus on was a little too much. So, I chose to simplify and go with the basics and build from there. Everything needs a strong foundation first, right?

For 2015, I’ve decided that my goals will be to write more, concentrate more on my health, learn to accept help from others, and to be more open.

Obviously you can see where my priorities lay, or perhaps it’s that I’ve already subconsciously decided which I can achieve and which are most likely not to succeed. Allow me to show why these are my choices.

Starting with one of the hardest choices of my goals: Be More Open.
Being open about myself has never truly been easy. I’ve always said that I am an open book, and to an extent that is true, but I’ve never been truly open about my thoughts and feelings with others, unless they were in my “inner-circle”. So it is my intention this year to work on that openness.
I’ve also chose to work on being more open in concerns of communication. I can communicate rather well, but I do not always do so. It is hard for me to just call someone out of the blue to just talk, writing a letter “just because” (I was a horrible pen-pal), or instigating a random conversation online. The odd thing about this, however, is that I can strike up a conversation with anyone in person, dropping by someone’s house out of the blue just to visit is not hard, but when it comes to doing so behind a paper & pen, phone call, or computer screen it’s another story. Therefore, it is my intention to work on this type of openness as well.

Next would be: Accepting Help from Others
I am not very good at accepting help from people, nor asking for it. Even when I am at my wits end and breaking apart, I have an issue with reaching out to ask for help. I’ve gotten a little better at it since losing my mother last year, and for a little before then because of needing help with my kids while I took care of her, but it is still enormously hard for me to do this. If I am to lessen the stress in my life, I must learn how to do this. Therefore, it is a continuing goal that I am working on.

Concentrate More On My Health
As a couple of you may know, I have very poor health. I have a couple genetic health issues, as well as others that I was diagnosed with at 16, that I am dealing with. I have a genetic disposition to blood clots (they are not fun, nor is the hospital stays), clinical depression (something I’ve dealt with for a long time but is only a recent diagnosis), anemia (low iron), and hypothyroidism. I’ve decided that if I am going to start feeling better, being sick less, and have any possibility of losing weight then I have to start doing my own research and figuring out what works best for me. I need to figure out what foods work best for me, what ones I can eat a lot of or need to eat less of, and what ones I need to keep an eye on. There are certain foods I cannot eat because of medication interactions, inhibiting thyroid function, and can raise the possibility of clots. I also have a hard time absorbing iron so I have to be aware of foods that can help with that.
I need to keep a record of how different anti-depressants make me feel and keep a record of how I feel (emotionally, highs or lows, anxiety levels, ex….) and why. I need to make and keep as many appointments (blood-work and such) as I can.
I need to pay more attention to meditation, and “me time” instead of allowing them to fall to the side. I need to begin Pilates again, regularly. I need to concern myself only with those whom care about and love me, not those that wish to harm me.
All of these things will help me to become a healthier person, inward and out.

And finally: Write More
Oh the many things I wish to write this year. The many things I wish to do with my writing.
I wish to complete my manuscript for the book I’m working on. I wish to post to each of my blogs at least once a week.
It is my desire to entertain and help with my writings. To give people a place to come for help without judgment, to tickle someone’s sense of frivolity, to allow for a place where someone may learn something new or open their eyes to another idea which would allow them to look for their own answers. There is so much and so little that can be done with writing, and I wish to tap into, and use, that endless possibility this year.

These are my goals for the year and I will endeavor to work on each of them. I may not complete any of them, because I do not believe that any of them could truly be completed except the manuscript, but by working on all of them I will become a better person.

Have a wonderful week my lovelies and a wonderful New Year.
Blessings & Warm Wishes,

YaYa 😉

What are your goals this year?
Do you have a support group to assist you?

A lot of people do for various reasons. There are many things to fear in life, spiders is at the top of my list, but one constant for everyone seems to be death. Either of dying it’s self or something that leads up to death.
Personally, I’m not afraid to die. I faced that possibility at 16 and dealt with it then. I am scared of loosing those that I love, though. So that would be my “fear of death”. It’s something that I can not change, nor do I have dominion over when it will happen. Since I am driven by emotions I do not see this fear leaving anytime soon. Therefore, I’m just going to have to continue to fear it, and find someway to handle it as best I can.
A very wonderful friend of mine wrote a blog post, “Facing Death Facing Life“, concerning this topic. I recommend reading this, and others that she has written. It puts her fear of death into a light that many of us can understand, and find a way to accept our own fear.

Today is Sunday, and while many go to church regularly or practice their own form of devotional and spiritualism today ( and many practice all week-long) I have not been doing this, and for this I am saddened. I … Continue reading →

I’ve been trying to get in shape for this year and seem to have no luck. I take precautions with what I eat and try to exercise a couple of times a week, but I just can’t seem to keep the weight off. What should I do?

Signed,

New Year’s Resolutionary

Dear New Year’s Resolutionary,

Many times when we take on a set perspective of what we want to happen and a set time-line for it to happen in it tends to bring us down when the results tend to fall short of what we expected to happen within that time frame. We all seem to do this and in many different areas of our lives, not just weight-loss.

I’ve done many diets myself, and they all seem to end in the same way. Even with added exercise to what I’m already doing for a diet/change in meals. I’ve set out a block schedule and expect myself to loose so much within that block of time and when I plateau and become discouraged I tend to “cheat”, which just adds the weight back on.
I do not know if this is what is happening with you or if it’s something entirely different.

I’ve a friend who, try as they might, can’t seem to get the toned look that they desire and recently found out that it’s just the chemical make-up of their body.
I’ve another friend that just couldn’t seem to lose weight no matter what they tried and upon speaking with their Dr, found out they had a medical condition that was easily treatable. Now, with the proper diet and medication, my friend is happily beginning to shed the weight they had worked so hard to lose, unsuccessfully, before.

My suggestion is to talk with a nutritionist and your Dr before starting anything and make sure that what you plan to do is good for your body as well as making sure there is nothing medically wrong/unbalanced to undermine your good intentions.

All successful “diets” or life-style changes start with knowing for certain what your body specifically needs and can handle. Until your able to see a professional though, I would start with just being sure to eat 3 small healthy meals a day and 3 healthy snacks, cutting out junk food such as chips and sodas (use your own judgment on what you can cut out and what you can’t) and try to walk where-ever you can, if possible. If walking isn’t possible, due to your situation or location, then I would recommend just doing some simple toning exercises (the repetition and movement is what counts) , taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and parking as far from the entrance as possible so that you have farther to walk to and from your destination.

Another thing people tend to do is denying themselves things which tend to lead to “cheating” on their “diets”. Don’t deny it just limit it to so much, or find a healthier substitute that tastes just as good and sometimes,tastes even better. Little things like this tend to add up and just remember, Don’t give up, the end result is worth all the hassle.

For some great meal ideas and delicious deserts check out “The South Beach Diet“, which is a life-style change that a Dr put together for his patients with heart conditions. It’s full of good advice and, in most cases, won’t hurt anyone to try out.

My best wishes on your success and take care. I hope I answered your question. 🙂

Today I had a very rude awakening. I had lain down for a nap while my children were with their father outside in the yard, if you can call it that. My yard is basically just dirt. Which my boys, being boys, love.
My eldest enjoys riding his bike all around it, the dogs can go anywhere with them because it’s, well, dirt. My youngest enjoys it because there are so many rocks to be found and packed into mommy’s house as precious treasures, I could do without this but it just makes him so happy when he shows me.
( I secretly take them back outside where they belong later 😉 Sneaky mommy. )

Anyway, today we got a visit from a social worker. YAY! Just the added stress I needed in my life.
It’s not like I’m not driving myself insane trying to keep up with an autistic child, my 5 yr old, that would make the Energizer Bunny look like a turtle.
It’s not like I’m not stressing myself out trying to be sure that my eldest has the best education I can provide for him, he’s home-schooled.
It’s not like I’m going constantly because I’m trying to be the best caregiver I can be for my mom, whom has terminal breast cancer and is bedridden. So, thanks to my nursing background. I can do a lot for her.
It’s not like there is so little stress in my life that I needed a little boost of adrenalin and a check to be sure my heart and tear-ducts still work.
And most of all, it’s not like my 9 yr. old is so care-free that he needed to become so worried about being taken away from his family that he started plotting where he could take his brother and him to hide so that if someone came to take them away they wouldn’t be here to be found.Thank You, you mystery person, that just knew exactly what we needed at this time.

YES!!! I needed this stress added to my life at just this moment, and my kids, mainly my 9 yr old because my 5 yr old didn’t really comprehend what was going on, were over-joyed to be scared to tears.
Thank you to who ever decided that they would be kind enough to do this for us. It’s JUST what we needed.

Due to recent events that have happened and conversations with people close to me I’ve decided to write this post in hopes that it may help others who have suffered similar sexual assaults. I, myself, am a victim as well as many of my close friends and others close to us. It seems that most females I know, and a couple of males as well, are victims of some sort of sexual abuse and/or assault and that, my dears, greatly disturbs me. How can this be? How can this happen to so many and yet, it seems, there be so little assistance from those who are sworn to protect us to keep it from happening again and to our children?

The title of my post is “Little Red Riding Hood Speaks Out” for a reason. I’ve always seemed to find the story of the young girl dark and not as merry as many have tried to write it for children’s books and stories. To me it has been more than just a lesson of never speaking to strangers but the wolf took on a more “predatory” feeling. It rings of sexual assault and abuse to me. (For a brief psychoanalytical break down look here: Psychoanalytic Approach to Little Red Riding Hood )

There are also songs written with that exact feeling put into the lyrics, such a song is “Li’l Red Riding Hood”. This song has many, many videos, and remakes by other artists, made by YouTube uses and they all portray the same sort of pictures with the skimpy, helpless, heavy lidded and occasional dark eyed helpless female that is being overpowered by the evil wolf. There are occasional pictures used as well where the woman is scantily clad in charge but, as I said, it is occasional. The running theme is that the woman is helpless and the wolf, as the predator, is in the power and she is his sexually attractive prey to be taken at will. A quote from Wikipedia, upon doing a search on the song, states:

” The song is built around Charles Perrault’s fairy tale “Little Red Riding Hood“, adapted by ending before the grandmother makes her entrance, and explicitly using the ambiguity of modern English between “wolf”, the carnivore, and “wolf”, a man with concealed sexual intentions. The effect, whether intentional or incidental, is to strip away the fairy tale’s metaphorical device and present the relationship between the two characters without literary pretense.

The singer remarks on “what big eyes” and “what full lips” Red has, and eventually on “what a big heart” he himself has. An added element is that he says (presumably aside, to the song’s audience) that he is disguised in a “sheep suit” until he can demonstrate his good intentions, but he seems to be having a hard time suppressing his wolf call in the form of a howl, in favor of the baa-ing of a sheep, at the very end of the song when Sam repeats the word “BAAHED” a few times during the song’s fade. One of its signature lines is “you’re ev’rything that a big bad wolf could want”. “

(See the song by Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs released in 1966: )

There are many cartoons as well that portray “little Red” as a sexually attractive woman, think Jessica Rabbit, that is irresistible to the wolf. In one such cartoon the wolf is a dressed up high-roller that at first can’t take no for an answer, then becomes the chased instead of the chaser. While this cartoon is funny in its slap stick humor, common in the 40’s with helpless women and such, it still portrays the view that men, at nature, are wolves and females, by virtue, are to be taken and enjoyed. Fortunately, this wolf gets a taste of what’s it like to say “NO” but have someone not listen. Unfortunately he doesn’t learn his lesson about being a gentleman. (See video here: )

In any effect “Little Red” is clearly recognized by everyone as the victim of the “Wolf” ‘s lust and desire whether she is young or old. In the original tale, I believe, the red of her clothing is the representation of her innocence and hymen or lost blood upon first coupling and the young girl is the representation of her innocence before womanhood which is about to be stolen/taken by the wolf which is the representation of a man’s lust, desire, and predatory nature. So if this is a “no-brainer” why is it that the laws on sexual assault, abuse, rape and molestation so puny? Why is there a dead line for charges to be filed and dealt with and why is there a maximum for when people who are charged with these heinous crimes allowed to be set free again, and in most cases, commit those crimes again? Perhaps there is a reason that most of these crimes are never reported and therefore the criminal is free to continue committing these crimes and, if caught, never fully be tried or convicted of them.

I am a victim, as I stated above. I was sexually assaulted as a child and due to my age, 3-4, it was listed as molestation instead of rape. My youth protected me, in a way, as my young mind could not fully grasp what happened and therefor I only have fragmented memories instead of a full recap of events to live with, as many others do. I can remember the garage that it took place in most often and the beginning of the assault, naked and the smell of ky jelly in some memories, but not the physical act. I am grateful that I don’t recall all of it. I can recall the floor of a truck, wearing no panties, and voices of people I could trust, and knowing if I just spoke up that it would stop for good and never happen again… but scared to death to do so because I didn’t want people I loved to be hurt. I live in regret for not being able to speak up now and blame myself for that even though I know I shouldn’t.

As I grew up I was fearful of male teachers in grade-school, in middle-school and high-school I was fearful of male students my age and older and could not be close to them without having that flight or fight reaction kick in. The only males I felt safe and secure around were some family members and some males that I’d grown up with, 2 that I can think of, that for some reason I’ve never found frightening or threatening as they projected a protective demeanor.

Most of my childhood and teen years I lived in terror of something like that happening again to me or someone that I loved and I had nightmares the entire month after the person whom committed this act against me died when I was younger. Now I live in terror that this will happen to my children and I will be unable to protect them from it. I live in fear that they will become victims and be threatened, as I was, not to speak or tell anyone or something bad will happen. I worry constantly that if this crime occurred that proper and protective measures will NOT happen to ensure the safety of not only my children but others in the community before the tragedy happened again.

They say time heals all wounds and I’m sure in some cases there are victims this applies to, but for me there are still the occasional nightmares brought on from a show I’ve watched that struck to close to home; a calling for jury duty that leaves my stomach in knots and a feeling of nausea that stays with me for a week or more because just the recap of what we’d be hearing caused the reaction. ( I’ve always had to be excused as a juror from such trials.) I will forever live with this just a murder victim’s family will forever live with the absence of their loved one. This type of crime, however, has no happy memories to fall back on in times of sadness & sorrow. This is not a crime that can be set right by an apology or money. (Although money can make a dent in the bill that will occur by the parent getting help for their child or the victim, themselves, seeing a Dr. ) This type of crime forever changes someone’s life and has a lifelong repercussion, not just for the victim but for their family and the ability to be close with someone else intimately, as well as causing issues with their ability to trust their partner. I have found all this to be true with myself as well as with everyone else I know whom has been a victim of such attacks, at any age and of either gender.

This “Little Red” is speaking out. The laws need to change and become harsher. People need to become more aware and stop this. NO woman, man, teen or child should have to live in fear or terror of this happening to them or their children. Please share and pass this along as well as sharing your own experiences if you feel able to do so. I know it’s not easy to do and, for me, requires time to recoup afterwards but, if you’re able to, it is helpful to not just those who have been through it, but to those who do not understand. It’s time for all “Little Red Riding Hood’s” to speak out.