Category Archives: Whatever Policies

Had a Burritos-and-Twilight Night with some of the kickboxing gals the other night. Delightful! Despite my attempts to keep my cool, I was revealed to be a burrito virgin. I don’t know how I got so far in life without eating a burrito, I guess any time I was at a Mexican restaurant I just went with tacos. It’s all essentially the same ingredients, whatever! Not my fault I stuffed too much burrito stuff into my burrito. Woe, shame! Delicious shame. Then we watched the third Twilight movie, and I’d never seen the first two (apparently also a Twilight virgin), so I had the movies retold to me by hilarious friends over wine, which I’m almost certain is more fun than watching the actual movies. The third movie gave me this impression. OK, there was one scene I sincerely, unironically enjoyed, the rest just involved yelling at the screen.

I got crappy news today! My grappling tournament that was supposed to happen tomorrow isn’t happening at all! Man, I had my shifts all switched, I told everyone I was competing, I’m so annoyed. What happened is, there are only so many grappling ladies in the region, and all of them wound up pulling out of the competition at the last minute except my team. So I would’ve driven for hours to get to Moncton, paid $60 to enter, and just fought the ladies from my own club. Crappity. On the bright side, there’s going to be another tournament, in Truro on the 19th! It’s way better organized than this one, way closer, and my family can watch if they want. Probably a better ‘first tournament’ than the one tomorrow, anyway (it was kind of sketchy).

I skipped kickboxing last night, to finish up an assignment (successfully, might I add). And also today, because we had an auxiliary grappling class that was supposed to be for sprucing up for the tournament but instead turned into a much-needed bitch session (so good for the soul). I am not doing well this week, only one kickboxing class and yoga. No wonder I’m so sleepy! I need to do some jumping jacks or something… but that… entails… standing…

Now I need some Whatever Policies! Hmm… I’ve almost entirely abandoned my ‘only get groceries on Tuesdays’ policy. Well, I’ve actually sort of inverted it, because it seems I get groceries on every day except Tuesdays. I apparently really don’t want that 10% student discount or something, because I am doing everything in my power to avoid it. What am I going to do with an extra $4.37, anyway? Probably use it to get into trouble, is what. No, I think it’s better if the Superstore takes it, they’ll use it better. That’s my policy: Superstore spends money better than me, just let them have it.

Went with Kathleen to my first yoga class in ages this week. Very nice! Tiny class, and the instructor will actually perform corrections, which I love and the yoga people at the gym never did. This instructor made us do some of that terribly athletic stuff, too, which I always resent in yoga for some reason, despite relishing with Gerald. Planks belong in bootcamp, god damn you! But seriously, I liked it. I have the world’s shittiest plank, anywhere I can practice it is probably for the best.

Gerald said that he wouldn’t let us spar any more unless we got cups. Oh yes, Jessie solved my mystery for me, there are girl cups, they are called jills. It is the cutest name for a thing on your crotch ever! Anyway, I have one, I’ve been avoiding wearing it but I guess I’ll have to now. I actually got kicked in the relevant area fairly hard last week, and I can see the value of the jill, good to get it before I get kicked really hard. Oh yeah, to prove we’re wearing them, Gerald will ask “who’s knockin’?” and then you knock on your crotch. None of this is a euphemism for anything. Kickboxing is weird.

I have homework I should be starting, but I’m updating my blog instead. Either I’m really slacking off on my homework… or really dedicated to my blog. You decide! Seriously, January is almost finished, how does that even make sense?

I’m introducing a new segment to my blog to annoy Kathleen called: Whatever Policies! It is about my stupid policies. Today I will talk about how I broke my No Pants Policy by buying pants last night, from the mall and everything. They are jeans, but they’re pretty soft so hopefully not completely uncomfortable. I bought them so I can go for walks in the woods and not get ticks on my bare legs, but they’re actually really cute pants and now I don’t want to get them torn and tick-infested. My life is terribly difficult. Is there a policy for that?