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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Everyone knows the old expressions “money talks” and “candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.” Combine them and what do you get? Fork Party’s menu of some of the most expensive liquid panty removers from around the world.

$500: The Ritz Side Car – The Bar Hemingway – Hotel Ritz, Paris

Now the drink itself is a mere $500 dollars, the trip to Paris, France is another matter all together. Honestly if you can afford to get your girl all the way to the most romantic city in the world just to get a booty call, then the drink is like dipping diamonds in chocolate, tasty, but totally unnecessary. The cocktail in question is really just a very expensive version of the drink invented at this very bar, a simple blend of Cointreau, cognac and lemon juice.
So if it’s an ordinary drink, why the extraordinary price tag? The answer is the cognac. The Bar Hemingway uses an extremely rare vintage, an 1830 Ritz Reserve that heralds from before the cataclysmic destruction of many of France’s greatest vineyards by mildew and pests.

$1000: King Richard’s Pride – Boa at Ceasars – Las Vegas

If you’re looking to get laid in Las Vegas… the local hookers are going to be a hell of a lot cheaper than this next cocktail, we recommend Bambi or Bunny instead. If you’d rather skip the trip to your local clinic when you get home, then this drink might be the better bet.
A supposedly sublime mixture of Hennessy Richard, Dom Perignon Rosé 1996 and Chambord Liqueur Royale De France, this drink is served up with the juice of half a lime, a splash of cranberry juice and an orange twist. Since there’s nothing in that list worth $1000 bucks, they sweeten the deal with a souvenir. The drink is served in a Baccarat crystal cocktail glass you can take home with you, even if the girl doesn’t.

$1500: Platinum Passion – Duvet, New York City

Even the name of this drink is in on the plan. If this cocktail doesn’t get you where you want to be, then you should just take up a life of bitter celibacy now and stop trying. This expensive concoction is a pink girly drink of the first order, made of L’ésprit de Courvoisier (a $6,000/bottle congac), Ruinart champagne and a specially crafted syrup of forest berries, passion fruit, wildflower honey and brown sugar. Poured into a frosted champagne flute and served with a perfect white orchid, this baby should do the trick. Did we mention the ace in the hole with this plan? By the time the target gets her drink, she should already be in bed. The Duvet’s name isn’t a coincidence; the restaurant is set up as like one giant slumber party for the rich and adventurous.

$3000: Ménage a Trois–Wynn Hotel Vegas

No surprise that the City of Sin made this list more than once, the Ménage a Trois is supposedly named for its trio of costly ingredients and has nothing to do with sex at all. Still, there’s no harm in hoping. Made fromCristal Rosé champagne, Hennessy Ellipse and Grand Marnier Cent-cinquantenaire, the razzle-dazzle factor is bumped up with 23 karat gold flakes and a liquid gold syrup garnish.
To get your girl in the right frame of mind, the drink is served with a 9-point diamond studded golden straw so she can suck up every delicious drop.

$18,000: The Diamond Is Forever Martini – Tokyo Ritz-Carlton

So you’ve got the whole 007 vibe going on and you want to make sure to make a lasting impression on her so she makes an impression on your bed sheets later. No problem, just arrange for one of these to be delivered to your table. Chilled Grey Goose Vodka, lime juice and a hint of fresh mint is poured over a very special piece of ice, a 1 carat diamond. A word of warning: at over $1000 a mouthful, you better hope she knows when to spit and when to swallow, if she gets confused you’re both going to end the night in tears.

This one is not for the faint of heart or the light of wallet, but if you are looking to bag yourself a supermodel, it might be your best bet. The drink is a sweet concoction of strawberry and lychee liqueurs blended with rosé champagne, lemon juice and served up in a very ordinary champagne flute. So where’s the bling? At the bottom of the glass. It comes complete with an 18-karat white gold cocktail ring inset with pink tourmaline and diamonds. Just make sure your girl doesn’t swallow it, or she’ll end up falling for the paramedic that gives her mouth to mouth on the way to the hospital.

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Ian M. Sherwin Giclée

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