OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Monday, March 23, 2015

Reaction Table: The Big City Shopkeeper

Note: a mild-to-moderate contempt for customers of any stripe is assumed

+1 to rolls if adventurers are known regional heroes, bothered to take a bath and put on some clean clothes upon entering big city
-1 to rolls for blood-spattered raiment, menacing aspect, dubious associates, bristling with weaponry, carrying empty sacks

d12
1. Fancy sign on door reads "No Adventurer Scum Admitted", incredibly muscular lackeys guard entrance, owner brandishes death ray amulet
2. Refuses to sell, pulls shades, bustles around looking for "gone fishing" sign, lights fuse to rooftop pyrotechnic that summons constabulary
3. Ignores adventurers until unavoidable, pretends to be out of items in plain sight, opens negotiations at three times standard prices
4. Hides cases with high quality items, demands double standard prices and if that's a problem, there's the door
5. Uses enchanted ring to charm first customer through the door, speaks only to charmed individual, issues entirely plausible reasons for price gouging, low grade merchandise
6. Supercilious proprietor activates personal imp to hover over customers, monitor their activities most intrusively, insists upon searching adventurers prior to departure
7. Fallen on hard times, prices slashed but goods noticeably mass-produced crap assembled by exploited foreign humanoid workers, the hilt on that broadsword is already coming unwrapped, battle ax head just fell off despite gentle handling, you're going to have to pay for that
8. Pours complimentary booze for patrons, tall one for self, pricing erratic
9. Begins dickering as soon as someone enters establishment and stops only upon their exit
10. UPSELL, UPSELL, UPSELL, today's special buy: questionable potions from overseas
11. Rolls out the red carpet, issues profuse, undue flattery, opens concealed door to secret sales floor featuring "the good stuff", hints at availability of rare/enchanted items, perspires visibly the whole time, can't wait for the adventurers to leave
12. Generally polite, accommodating, but pushes recently acquired treasure map to local dungeon of certain death way out of adventurers' league, neglects to mention hive of terror-monsters within

3 comments:

A fabulous table the likes of which would reign in a number of the excesses and idiocies of the adventuring class. "why can't we find a shop to sell alll the loot we took out of the nearby mausoleum??" is something I've actually heard...