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Thursday, 29 September 2011

ART AND SCIENCE OF MOOD-SETTING

This is not an article; it is an advertisement for a new organisation that I am setting up. The organisation is called AIMS (Association of International Mood Setters). There is golden opportunity in it for any man or woman who likes the idea and joins the organisation and has the necessary potential and skills to become a Mood Setter (MS). The idea though is Copyright protected and hence you are cautioned not to try it out on your own.

Let me explain the concept of Mood Setting. Lets say one has an assignment. One plunges into the assignment without one's mood being set appropriate to the assignment. One can otherwise be very well qualified for the assignment; however, the attitude makes a lot of difference. Attitude has got two components: a fixed component based on years of conditioning that a person goes through and a variable component depending upon the mood that a person is in. The pie chart below shows the share of mood (variable component) in the overall attitude of a person.

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Copyright: AIMS

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The following graph brings out the importance of the variable component, ie, the mood, towards the success of an assignment.

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Copyright: AIMS

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It can thus be made out that mood plays an important role in success of assignments. And yet, for reasons beyond comprehension, not enough studies have been done to promote Mood Setting. AIMS intends to fill up the gap.

To easily understand the concept, take the case of an assignment of modeling. Lets say a model has to do a shoot for an ad depicting a headache or toothache or a near relative having died so as to bring out the need for an analgesic or right toothpaste or an insurance policy. In 30 seconds of the advertisement the model has to go through emotions ranging from extreme pain or sorrow to sudden joy or relief. You will say that the entire thing depends upon the acting prowess of the model. Right? Wrong. Acting prowess is the fixed skill of an individual (refer to graphs above). If one is not in the right mood, the entire shoot can be a failure.

To explain it further, lets say the model's boy friend has, that morning, accepted her persistent suggestion that she be taken out for dinner. She is on top of the world with feet hardly touching the ground. At this stage if she was to be asked to do an ad for air ballooning, she would perhaps be in the right mood. However, death of a relative or headache are far away from her buoyant mood. That's where a qualified Mood Setter comes in handy. He or she has enormous experience at Mood Setting and proceeds, as an example, as per following flow diagram (in this case the depiction is to set the mood from buoyant to pained):

Copyright: AIMS

Lets take another scenario. And here I don't mind telling you big bucks are there for the asking for the Mood Setter: A politician has to suddenly visit a flood affected area. This would involve looking sad at the plight of hundreds of countrymen who would have lost their houses, near and dear ones, livelihood, livestock etc. The politician would have never remotely come across this situation. So, even if he tries his best acting skills - which most of them do from the time of campaigning for elections onwards - he/she is unlikely to be in the appropriate mood for empathising with the victims of the flood. In today's age of media ubiquitousness, such politicians are often caught on the camera smiling to the crowds that is seen by the victims as not being in sync with the gloomy mood of the situation. That's where our Mood Setter comes in. Just ten minutes with the minister, in his plane, whilst on the way to flood-affected area, are sufficient to get the minister into the right mood. He is thus able to avoid the kind of faux pas that George Bush made when he said, "What the f__k is that?" not knowing that the microphone was on; or, of the Indian External Affairs Minister happily reading the wrong speech in the UN.

The business of Mood Setting has unlimited opportunities, at the higher levels, at the middle levels and day to day or routine levels. Let me give an example each of each level. At the higher level: lets say the Maharashtra government is toying with the idea of a new airport near Panvel (indeed they have been planning this for the last 20 years). Various surveys have been done, reports prepared, technical panels have discussed ad infinitum the feasibility, budgetary estimates made etc. So, why are we not going further than putting a board saying: Site for Airport? Once again, it would be a big mistake to think that there are such issues as environmental clearance that are keeping the coconut to be broken over launching the project. The actual reason is that the concerned people and authorities are not in the right frame of mind. In other words: not in the right mood. That is where my organisation can help. Our highly qualified mood setters, at nominal cost, can change the mood, say, within a week.

Take the middle level. Indian Cricket Team won the ODI World Cup and we were the best team in the world for Test Cricket. This means that we had the requisite skills to be the world champs. And yet, the hammering that we got in the recent tour to England made us look like nincompoops; playing cricket for the first time. What went wrong? Analysis done at AIMS shows that they were not in the right mood (they were, for example, in the IPL Mood whereas it requires a different mood altogether to play international cricket abroad). Mood Setting is really a specialised business. Our SMEs (Subject Matter Experts) have proven abilities to change the mood of any cricketing team. Team India could have very well won in England if they had consulted us.

Lastly, here is an example of a routine day-to-day level. You and family, lets say, have to visit another family whose son has topped the university in BA exam whereas your own son has failed miserably. They are celebrating and expect you to share their bubbly and happiness. Our MS will sit with you for precisely 15 mins and you would be in the right mood to visit your friend. What's more is that since you won't be moping or sulking, he is likely to stay your friend even after your visit.

Let me give one last example: your boss, for apparently no fault of yours, gave you a dressing down because of a fire or other botch-up in the premises. You feel it was uncalled for. In the evening he calls you home for dinner for the ring ceremony of his only daughter. If you continue being in the morning mood, eventually you can say goodbye to your job. Our trained Mood Setters, after they have finished with you, make it look like to you as if it is your daughter who has the ring ceremony. You don't have a daughter? Well, don't mind, you have no idea of the powers of professional mood setting.

Still not convinced to join my organisation? Well, do you know that you have come to the end of this article because I, a qualified Mood Setter, actually willed you to change your mood from murders, scams, arrests, corruption, Anna, Raja, Kalmadi, Amar Singh, Pakistan, Afghanistan etc. And I did it without charging any fees. Think of how your mood would change if you were to hire me or any of my qualified Mood Setters.

Please write your EOI (Expression Of Interest) in my organisation in the Comments below and I shall get back to you.

Mood Setting is the road to success, these days; the next best thing after Facebook and Twitter. Those who want to seek the help of AIMS in solving their inappropriate mood problems, please book on line on the AIMS portal. I shall send you a Mood Setter after we have completed the current assignments of Indian politicians, Bollywood actors, cricketers and jailed leaders.

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Holding the Mirror

I have done a long stint in the Indian Navy that lasted for nearly thirty seven years; I rose as far as my somewhat rebellious and irreverant nature allowed me to. On retirement, the first thing that occured to me, and those around me, was that I Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (you will find an article with this title in this blog) and hadn't lost all my noodles and hence thought of my blog This 'n That.

I detest treading the beaten track. This blog offers me to air 'another way' of looking at things. The idea is not just to entertain but also to bring about a change.

Impudent or otherwise, I have never been insousciant and I am always concerned about the betterment of community, nation and the world. I hope the visitors of this blog would be able to discern it.

Previews

Now that our Raksha Mantri (Defence Minister), Shri AK Antony, has, like all politicians before him and probably after him, shown aversion to talk to his service chiefs we need to examine why is it so. Even our bureaucrats are used to putting the uniformed personnel in their place. We have reached a situation in our country when the collective neglect, indifference and aversion of the government, administrative and police towards the armed forces has made this honourable profession one of the least attractive of all professions in India for the youth of the country. (Read more in 'Admiral and Mantri Ji' under the section 'In Lighter Vein')_____

I believe that it is not just 'we are what we think'; but, also, the universe is what we think it is. Surprised? Hogwash? We often refer to it as 'magic' or 'supernatural' what we cannot understand. Those who can let their imagination take wing can 'see' and 'hear' things better than others; something that we have called ESP (Extra Sensory Perception). So, in order to carry forward this argument, what if the saints and spiritual leaders before us had discovered that senses can get us only so far and no more; and that going beyond the senses may be the way to go. That is, the expression "are you out of your senses" may not descibe you as an idiot but as a great intellectual? (Read more in 'Being Non-Sensical May Be Far Sighted' under 'Philosophy' section)_______

Navy is a true international service; it is because most often than not it operates beyond 12 nautical miles of the coast and hence in international waters called the high seas. Our counterparts from the Army and the Air Force rarely leave the country whereas we do it on an everyday basis; in almost every sailing we leave the territorial limits of the country. (Read more in 'Foreign Jaunts' under 'Navy - Nostalgia')______

We don't have to go as far back as my grandparents times; if Valentine Day had to become popular during my dad's times, how would it have been? My dad died of an accident when he was just 56, one year younger than I am now. During his days, except for in movies, couples never publicly expressed love for each other. It would be indirectly hinted rather than 'in-your-face' proclamation. There were no Valentine Day cards or other accessories. (Read more in 'If Dad and Mom Had to Celebrate Valentine Day' in 'Life is like that')______

She loved him. He loved her. There was a thick white line between their ends of the court. The match started.

First, she held her breath, extended her arm and muttering ""Love, love, love.." went charging into his side of the court. If only she could touch him and return across the thick white line. (Read more in 'Love and Fencing' under 'Stories')______

They finally found him not in a cave in a mountain but in a huge mansion in Abbottabad, a few hundred metres away from Pak Military Academy. I was reminded of this scene in Mel Brooks' Silent Movie in which they are looking for Burt Reynold's house whilst standing in front of a huge mansion with a large sign atop the house with his name on it that even the blind would have had difficulty in missing. (Read more in 'Osama, Obama, O Mama' under Opinions)_____

South Bombay prided itself in having the finest of the theatres patronised by decent crowds; the type who would be aware as well as well mannered: Regal and Strand in Colaba, Eros at Church Gate, Metro at Dhobi Talao, New Empire, Liberty and Sterling and later New Excelsior near Flora Fountain. There was Akaashvaani near LIC Building and one could watch good repertoire of movies there devoted to a theme. (Read more in 'My Young Days of Watching Movies in South Bombay' under Music and Cinema)

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Sometimes I feel life is blaséAn alluring mirage that I chase.Sounds of fun and laughter areLike gunshotsPiercing through my heart. (Read more in 'If Only' under Poems and Limericks)

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How we admire the wisdom of those who come to us for advice! Indeed, some people are convinced that rendering advice is a fundamental right at par with such other rights as Right to Speech, Right to Religion, and Right to Property...(Read more in 'One Good Advice Deserves Another' under 'Humour')_________

Recently, when we watched the movie ‘3 Idiots’, we were entranced by the song ‘All Is Well’...(Read more in 'All Is Not Well' under 'Opinions')_________

The other day, a really dear friend came home to share the evening meal. The conversation drifted to the propensity of the senior hierarchy of the Navy to get entangled in trivial matters...(read more in 'During Our Days' under 'Navy - No One Asked Me But...')_________

No, this is not the end of radio communications; Roger is the name of our Labrador retriever. Like any retriever he is happiest when he is out...(Read more in 'Roger Out' under 'Humour')