Monday, 3 July 2017

Four drag artists visit a monastary (Eberron game report)

Emerald Claw stooge

Let it be known that I, Kaleshtra, daughter of Paan Nabi, secretary and concubine to Sher Singha, Tyrant of Xen'drik, did write these words as they were spoken by my lord in his twilight years, that his subjects and descendants might benefit from the wisdom he earned, early in his lifespan, when he wandered the lands of Khorvaire as a soldier in the army of Cyre:

As I recall, there were four of us in our little unit. I was included for the muscle, of course. Iron Nick was our warforged auxiliary, while Pin was a gnome scout. Pin wasn't his real name - we couldn't pronounce his real name, so we called him Pin. He didn't like it, but he was too small to really argue. Our face man and the brains was Daniel of House Deneith, a dragon-marked heir and very pleased with it too, thank you very much.

We hadn't been seeing an awful lot of action as a unit, but we were the only ones to hand when news came in that a dragon-marked heir of House Cannith had been kidnapped by the Emerald Claw, and was being held hostage in a monastary in northern Cyre. We'd known for some time that many adherents of the Blood of Vol had been fleeing persecution in Karrnath, but taking a member of House Cannith hostage and storming a monstary of Onatar seemed a little ambitious, even for them.

Our plan was to blag our way in disguised as travelling entertainers - well, drag artists to be specific. I can't remember whose idea it was to put together a drag act, but I guess we felt it might appeal to Colonel Furnau, the man our intelligence indicated was in charge of the Emerald Claw detachment there. Our orders were to retrieve Louis Hendal, the dragon-marked heir, ideally alive; if we had to leave his body behind, we were to make sure it was not possible to reanimate it. To this end, Pin made sure to include several pints of acid amongst our equipment. He also brought a silk handkerchief with Louis' mother's initials on it, as proof of our bona fides.

The monastary was located in Cyre, not far from the border with Karrnath. You would have a hard time finding it now, for obvious reasons. It was already looking in poor nick when we first arrived, what with the banners of the Emerald Claw displayed on the walls, and the heads of monks rotting on spikes above the main gates. Security was lax, and Daniel was able to talk his way past the guards on the gate. We were directed to the main church building, where Furnau was holding court. On the way, we spotted Vorik Kessler, a necromancer known to be working with Furnau. He was in the cemetery - no surprise there - with a bunch of zombies - seemingly digging up graves. Pin tried to do some advanced marketing for our show, handing out leaflets, but it looked like most of the Emerald Claw troops were already dead, and unlikely to be interested in a drag act.

Inside the church, the Emerald Claw were busy torturing the surviving monks, including the abbott, while being entertained by a manic dwarf jester. Furnau, who was seated on a throne of bones which someone had thoughtfully built for him, seemed to be pleased to see us, and even more enthusiastic about our prospective entertainment. He said he would summon in all his living guards for the show, which was just what we wanted. We started setting up our stage at one end of the church, near the altar, although only the idiot dwarf paid us much attention.

Pin whispered that he had heard the monastary was the burial site of Count Van Halen, hunted down and killed over a century ago, for crimes unspecified. It was rumoured he was a vampire with obscure tastes in music, but nobody was sure which of those had been his principal crime. Pin thought it might have been because he was a vampire, but you never knew with Cyre.

Daniel managed to persuade Furnau to give us one of his prisoners to help with setting up the show. This monk, Brother Bernard, was near-catatonic with shock, but Daniel managed to persuade him to tell us that Louis Hendal was being held prisoner in a small house in the cemetery. Not only that, he confirmed that Van Halen was indeed buried there, but in a nondescript grave. And yes, the necromancer Kessler was looking for him, no doubt to bring him back from the dead and perhaps broaden the musical horizons of Cyre. Brother Bernard also helpfully pointed out that, hidden behind the large mosaic of a bronze dragon on the wall behind us (an archaic representation of Onatar) was the monastary's treasure.

The word 'treasure' had a mysterious motivating impact on Daniel and Pin; we set up a trapeze platform against the wall, again explaining to the Emerald Claw goons that this was going to be part of the acrobatic component of the show, and using this distraction, Pin was able to covertly access the hidden cache behind the mosaic, where he found a broadsword. Daniel was the one best-placed to use a sword like this, which looked pricey, and was inscribed with fire runes. As you know, I've always relied on killing people with my claws and teeth, and feel forged weapons are for ninnies and poseurs, but I suppose you have to cater to all tastes.

It quickly became apparent that the sword was firstly, magic, and secondly, intelligent, leading to long and frequent periods of silence from Daniel as he went glassy-eyed, communing with the weapon, while the rest of us stood around sharpening our claws or picking our noses in Pin's case.

Bernard was singing like a canary by this stage, and told us the Emerald Claw needed Louis to bring Van Halen back. He was unspecific as to the actual mechanics involved, but we didn't want to give them a chance to drag up ancient musicians, vampires or otherwise. Bernard also told us that the key to the house where Louis was being held could be found under a flower pot beside the back door, and that there was a secret passage in the well in the monastary's main courtyard that would lead outside. Finally, he politely asked us to kill him. Daniel went all vacant again at this point, and began running his thumb up and down the edge of his new toy...

Next time: We make our move, light some fireworks, and it all goes bang...

Played using the Cypher RPG from Monte Cook Games, in the Eberron campaign setting by Keith Baker