Archive for Tool Box

LOL, so I had this gentleman friend over yesterday who apparently had the worst kind of heart attack it’s possible to have just this past January. He was 38, poor guy. He just had a defibulater (sp) put in a couple weeks ago and this was his “first time” since the whole incident. So we play yadda yadda and when we finish he makes the cryptic remark “well, at least I didn’t die”. He wants to play again, but once he started stroking to get himself hard, I noticed that his face was turning red and he seemed out of breath so I told him he needed to take it easy. He kept stroking anyway so I insisted he take it easy, telling him that I can’t take the risk that he might have another heart attack at my house. Well, he wasn’t too pleased and left in a bit of a huff saying he’s not a cripple. I wasn’t trying to make him feel that way but I’m also not gonna put myself in a position to have to explain to the cops why some guy whose name I don’t even know had a fucking heart attack in my bed. Plus, I might find such an incident slightly traumatic.

Just venting! Can’t say that one at my digital home now can I? for Christ’s sakes

DUDE! Don’t get pissy! If you want to try and have another heart attack, you don’t do it in a hookers bed! WTF are you thinking! No you’re not a cripple but for chrissakes you did have a recent heart attack, take it easy. Realize you may have some limits. Proud of your ass for wanting to go a 2nd time around but come on. LIMITS man LIMITS! I would have kicked your ass out too!

With us there is no guarantee you will get a happy ending. You’re not paying for it so it’s not a given. K? With that being said, if you behave yourself, don’t be a grabby ass, or give us bad vibes (in other words if we LIKE you) then more than likely it’s going to happen. Roll with it. Be happy if it does.

Now if we start playing with frank and beans there DO NOT say something like: “If you want to get me off that’s not the way to do it.”

Me: “Ok we are done here.” *gets the washrag and starts cleaning up*

Mr. I’m-not-going-to-be-happy-with-a-hand-job: “What? Don’t you have any other tricks?”