WTF: Suit allows you to have a remote "massage" [YEAH RIGHT]

It may look like one of those neon all-in-ones from Tron, but in actual fact this is the eSSage, a suit that allows you to receive a massage from anyone, anywhere. Don’t worry, we’re thinking the exact same thing…

The eSSage has a dedicated app that the masseuse of your choice can play with to deliver a series of strokes, touches and umm, other kinds of sensual things:

“Loved ones are able to massage you from anywhere in the world with the stroke of a comfort stylus with any Android or Apple device. No longer are you limited to the local massage parlour, the world is your massage parlour.”

The world is your massage parlour. What a thought.

According to designer André Cofield’s presentation about the eSSage, these WiFi signals are read by micro controllers that then engage EAPs, or Electro Active Polymers. There polymers are specially designed to act like muscles when they receive an electrical charge providing the user with a massage-like feeling all over their body that replicates the sensation of skin against skin.

The person delivering the massage simply needs to have the eSSage app on their iPhone or iPad along with a dedicated “comfort stylus”. They’re then presented with an image of the suit and can then use the stylus to pinpoint which bits of the wearer’s body needs seeing to, so to speak.

The eSSage suit and its accompanying app are both still in development right now, but we imagine if it ever comes to life it’ll have a huge impact on the sex massage industry.