The Heron's Nest: Lessons learned at the Living Memorial Gardens

By PHIL HERON,

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I learned an important lesson last night. Actually, several of them.

First, I discovered a very special place in Delaware County. If you haven't visited the Living Memorial Gardens in Upper Chichester, I highly recommend it. But be warned, the place packs an emotional wallop.

The Gardens were created by the Delco chapter of the Parents of Murdered Children to honor the memory of murder victims.

For me, the place holds a special place.

I was there last night for the annual National Day of Observance for Murder Victims. Before the ceremony, I got a tour of the gardens from one of the women most responsible for it, Barb DiMario. She is one of the co-founders of the group and was the driving force behind the Gardens. As we walked through and looked at each lovingly tended plot, I remembered name after name, and the stories that went along with them. Agonizing stories.

I had been asked to speak to the group by two of its current leaders, Sharon Conroy and Jane McPhee. Like every other member, they know all too well the unnatural act of burying a child.

But first I was moved to tears by Rose Bolton. Her son was killed in Philadelphia, and through tears she came last night to thank the group for allowing her son to be remembered in this very special place.

When it came to my turn to speak, I confronted the other lesson that I learned last night. It's one thing to write about these tragedies. It's another to live them.

Here's what I said:

Good evening. My name is Phil Heron. I'm the editor of the Delaware County Daily Times and DelcoTimes.com.

In other words, I'm the man who supervised all those stories of incredible heartbreak that have brought us here together tonight.

My heartfelt thanks to Sharon Conroy and Jane McPhee for reaching out to me to speak here this evening.

It is truly my honor.

But I have a confession to make. I would rather be almost anywhere else. I am sure many of you feel the same way. It has often been written that Parents of Murdered Children is the one organization that no one wants to join. It is my fervent hope that they would not need to enlist a single new member. But I also know that is not going to happen.

There is not a day that goes by that I am not asked the following question: Why is there so much bad news in the Daily Times? The truth, as most of you are only all too aware, is pretty simple. That's what people read.

It is my sincere wish that those stories did not add to the heartbreak. Likewise, I'm fairly certain that also is not the case.

But that job - as difficult and sometimes distasteful as it may appear, carries with it certain obligations.

First and foremost is to honor the victims. Not just in the days following these tragic acts, but in the future as well.

Very simply: Never forget.

That is one of the reasons I'm here tonight. And it's also why I hosted Jane McPhee, Marilyn Dougherty and Steve Conroy last Wednesday night our the taping of our live-stream Internet broadcoast. We call that show "Live From the Newsroom."

Ironically, that afternoon we had been reporting on a shooting on SEPTA's Broad Street Subway. I told Steve that there is not one instance of an incident involving SEPTA that I don't immediately think of his son Sean, and the ordeal that befell him on a SEPTA platform.

It would have been easy to simply relegate that story to another crime incident in Philadelphia. It was up to us to dig a little further, to find out that Sean was a product of Delaware County, where he grew up, and that his loss was resounding here.

Never forget.

Steve also related to me a couple of other sentiments I have heard untold numbers of times.

Like most of the people here, he doesn't want his son Sean to be forgotten. And he also bristles when subsequent stories deal with the suspects charged in the attack. Their stories continue. He wants to make sure Sean's plight is not lost in the shuffle.

We were joined last Wednesday night by D.A. Jack Whelan. The group told him that one of the things that bothers them most is the feeling of frustration that can overwhelm them in the belief that at times their wishes are not being represented in the process.

And so we gather here tonight, on the sixth annual National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims, in a most special place.

It was back in 2001 that the Living Memorial Gardens were first unveiled.

I was struck by something we wrote back then. I think you have to be a member of this organization to truly understand it.

For that story, we talked to one of the founders of the Delaware County Chapter of Parents of Murdered Children.

Barb DiMario wanted to stress the real purpose of the Gardens. Certainly it's a way to honor the dead. But in a very special way. Barb noted that it was important for families to be able to do that outside the confines of a cemetery.

Cemeteries are about death, the end of a life. The Living Memorial Gardens are about life, and continuing to remember the lives and legacy of those lost.

There are 57 separate plots here in this beautiful place.

Representing 57 lives. There are not gravestones here. Only the beautiful testimony to lives taken far too soon.

Never forget.

I tried to get here a little early tonight so I could walk through the garden. It truly is a beautiful site.

But I must tell you I winced a bit as a looked intently at each name.

For me, most of those names are very familiar. For those gathered here tonight, they are much more than that.

That's part of the reason we use our craft - words, pictures and video - to try to paint a little fuller picture of those remembered here.

Our initial stories tell the infamous five W's of the journalism craft: Who, what, when, where and why? We get those from the police reports and interviews with investigators.

But those reports don't tell you that Sean Conroy was incredibly proud to be a product of Delaware County and his job as a manager at a Center City Starbucks.

They don't tell you that Jamie Hamler won a state championship while a member of the Chester Clippers high school basketball team in 1994.

That Madison Bierling was called "Our little lady bug" by loving family members or that she died just after her first birthday.

Those memories are recorded here, in this very special place.

And, I would like to hope, in the pages of the Delaware County Daily Times.

I wish I could tell you this group will never need to induct a new member. I wish I could tell you we will never have to knock on another door and inform griving family members that we are doing a story on their loved one's death and would they be willing to talk to us about that person.

But I can assure you of this.

We will keep this very special place in our heart. We will keep the Living Memorial Gardens in our minds. We will keep alive the precious memories that those in attendance here tonight hold so dear.

We will never forget.

'Live from the Newsroom' tackles the PSSA test: Join the conversation!

They very well may be the four most-feared letters in education.

No, we're not talking ABC's. We're talking PSSA.

In case you missed it, the results are out from the most recent round of state standardized testing. And the news is not good.

Here in Delaware County, eight of 15 school districts failed to meet their Adequate Yearly Progress Targets. You can read about them here. The news was equally as glum across the state, as the numbers of students meeting state standards declined for the first time since 2002.

So what does it all mean? A lot of people talk about PSSAs, some believe entirely too much emphasis is placed on them and that districts now are literally "teaching to the test," and failing to offer a more well-rounded education.

The districts themselves don't have much choice. They are mandated to meet certain AYP levels or face the consequences, which could include funding cuts.

We'll be talking about the PSSAs tonight on our live-stream Internet broadcast, 'Live From the Newsroom.' We'll be joined by Larry Feinberg, a school board member in Haverford and leader of the Keystone State Education Coalition. We'll also be joined by Dan McGarry, an assistant superintendent in Upper Darby School District who ruffled a lot of feathers this year when he authored a district-wide realignment plan that emphasized curriculum changes to meet those AYP standards.

And I want you to get involved.

Have a question about the PSSAs? Do you think entirely too much is being made of them? How would you suggest districts be held accountable? Email me your question or comment to editor@delcotimes.com and I will put it to our panel tonight. Upper Darby parents, are you happy with the new realignment plan? If not what would you like to see the district do instead?

You can also join us live tonight at 7 at DelcoTimes.com when we tackle the issue of PSSA test scores. Get involved. Join the conversation!

Reid, Vick both feeling the pressure

Eagles head coach Andy Reid beat a quick path to this radio show Monday to clear up what he said earlier in the day at his day-after press conference.

In response to a question at the end of the session concerning quarterback Michael Vick, Reid seem to crack open the door to a possible change.

Big Red set off a minor media frenzy with his comments that the position would be "evaluated" and "we'll go from there."

A few hours later, he was spouting a different tune, saying "Michael Vick is our quarterback. Period."

I think maybe he protests too much.

I don't think Reid is ready to pull the trigger on Vick just yet. But I'm not necessarily sure he's going to stick with No. 7 forever, especially if he continues to be the turnover machine he's been so far this year.

There's another factor at play here as well.

Remember the "8-8" factor. That was Jeff Lurie's pronouncement before the season that a repeat of last year's disappointing record would be "unacceptable."

If the Eagles fall Sunday against the Giants, that would put them at 2-2 over the first quarter of the season, exactly on a pace to meet the "unacceptable" stamp from Reid's boss, as well as a likely ticket out of town.

Want further proof that Reid isn't married to his QB? Just ask Kevin Kolb.

Two years ago a clearly peeved Reid denigrated the media when they asked him about his starter on Monday. Reid said Kolb was his guy. The next day he named Michael Vick as his starter.

What goes around, comes around.

Get ready, Mr. Foles. You're on the block, Mr. Vick.

The Daily Numbers: 72, age of Ridley resident James Dellavecchia, who is on trial this week in the murder of his 42-year-old neighbor.

2 games that will be played by the Philadelphia Passion of the Lingerie Football League at PPL Park in Chester next summer. That's there entire home schedule. There's no truth to the rumor that PPL Park is being renamed 'The Passion Pit.'

50 people who gathered last night amid the 57 plots at the Living Memorial Gardens in Upper Chichester to mark the 6th annual National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims.

34 goats that are being used to control weeds on a plot in Millbourne Borough.

5, age of girl who witnessed her mother gunned down on the streets of southwest Philly yesterday. The girl also was wounded but is expected to survive.

3 million dollar bust of Benjamin Franklin recovered after it was stolen from a home on the Main Line. A former housecleaner has been charged.

570 people being laid off as Sikorsky Aircraft Corp. announces it is shutting down a helicopter plant in New York.

500,000 dollars ripped off from his ailing elderly parents by their son, a former West Chester Councilman.

10, age of home invader who apologized to the Vietnamese immigrant woman he attacked and beat in her Philadelphia home.

11, age of chocolate lab police in Chester County say was tossed from a moving car on West Chester Pike.

1 home run for Darrin Ruf. The Phillies rookie went yard in his 1st at-bat of his 1st start for the Phils last night.

15 wins for Cole Hamels, who only went 5 innings while giving up 3 runs on 7 hits.

5.5 games back of the Cardinals in the Wild Card race for the Phillies. Hope is fading fast with just 8 games left.

1 punted booted and 1 signed yesterday as the Eagles released Chas Henry and resigned Mat McBriar, who was released in training camp.

Call me a Phanatic: A look at the ups and downs of being a Philadelphia sports fan.Whatever else you want to say about this year's Phils, you can't call them quitters. They're still playing hard, even though their playoff hopes remain alive by the slenderest of slivers.

I Don't Get It: What is going on with animal abuse in Chester County. In the last week a dog was found burned to death in a cage, now another family pooch is believed to have been tossed from a moving vehicle on West Chester Pike.

Today's Upper: Kudos to all those who took part in last night's observance for the national Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims held at the Living Memorial Gardens in Chichester.

Quote Box: "I wear a big smile every day, but I feel so much pain."

- Rose Bolton, offering her thanks last night to the Delaware County Chapter of Murdered Children for allowing her son to be remembered at the Living Memorial Gardens.