Transformation

byJen DeCurtinsonNovember 20, 2011

How many times have I said this? It has been a year of transformation.

For the most part the transformation has been exciting and has left me feeling inspired and incredibly blessed. But it’s not all so easy. There comes a time when the shine wears off and reality sets in. And although I am 100% in love with the new direction of my life, the way I live my life has changed. My career is now something that I feel intense passion for. I want to pour my heart and soul into it and that complicates the “work/life” balance…because work feels like such an important part of life. That said, my work requires me to give a lot of myself to other people. By the end of the day I end up feeling pretty emotionally and physically exhausted. I am struggling to give my family, friends and husband the amount of attention and energy that they deserve.

This is just scratching the surface of the things that I’m feeling right now but I think it’s important to share with you that “living your dream” isn’t always easy. I almost feel guilty sharing this because I do feel so lucky for all the opportunities that have come my way. But I am a human being (and not just a robot teacher/blogger/trainer) and I am a work in progress. I am committed to working through this and finding a happy medium.

So. That’s that.

I grabbed a bagel with Brandon and a yoga friend after my 9:15 this morning. Baked apple bagel with honey walnut cream cheese.

I rushed over to boot camp after breakfast. It was my day to assist and not lead so I arrived to find them pulling tires in the parking lot. Awesome. Bootcamp was great today and I ended up jumping in to work through the last circuit with them. It was so much fun! I love mixing up my fitness routine and doing new things.

Continuing with the theme of transformation… I had a transformational yoga practice this afternoon. I decided to visit another studio to take a class from my favorite teacher, Suzanne. I was just in need of a “Suzanne class” today. And also need of the freedom to shed some tears on my mat if they happened to come up.

The class was beautifully sequenced and my body felt so strong and open. I ended up getting into a few poses that I have resisted trying for some reason. One was bound triangle. I bind in so many other poses, I’m not sure why I’ve never gone for this pose but I got into it today and it brought a huge smile to my face. I left class wringing sweat from my clothes and feeling a million times better.

Again, I know I’ve said this so many times but I simply do not know what I would do without my yoga practice in my life. I feel gratitude every single day for everything it has done for me physically and mentally.

(Side note…19 days of the 62 day yoga challenge done…43 to go! :P)

Dinner was extra delicious tonight. I swung by Earth Fare after yoga to pick up bone-in pork chops. Brandon grilled them on the Big Green Egg while I made butternut squash risotto and roasted brussels sprouts. I have had a big risotto craving lately. It’s one of my all-time favorite dishes. I really enjoy the process of making risotto. Call me crazy but I find the stirring therapeutic. The risotto was really simple. I just stirred roasted butternut squash into my basic simple risotto recipe. I cannot wait for leftovers!

Off to prepare for BodyPump tomorrow. I’m teaching the 6 a.m. and subbing a 2 p.m. for another instructor! Can’t wait to practice everything I learned at Advanced Instructor Training!

I hit a point in my life/career when I totally felt the same way. While changes can be GOOD and even healthy sometimes it is still hard to find the proper balance. When we are passionate about our work (and feel that it is our “calling” perhaps) sometimes that leads us to give ALL of ourselves to work and not leave much for anyone or anything else. My husband definitely felt that when I was working in the non profit world. You will find your groove. It takes time. Don’t feel guilty for having these feelings or expressing them on your blog. You are human! I admire your honesty and openness. Have a lovely Monday!

For the past 17 years…..I have tried to find the perfect balance. My kids and homeschooling are my passion. After pouring everything into 4 kids all day long….I struggle to give my husband the attention he deserves! Some days are good….others not so much! Finding the perfect balance between…..faith, marriage, kids, health and work will always be the goal. At least you are aware of it!! That’s the beginning!!
Love ya lots!

I think there are times in life when you are busy and it’s important for that time in order to meet future goals. As long as you keep things in perspective that’s half the battle.

I find it helpful to sit back and reflect on what’s most important — staying at work an extra 30 minutes? Writing one more freelance piece? Or sitting down for quality time with my husband so our marriage stays strong.

I have really enjoyed reading your blog over the past several months! I admire your honesty and the career/life transformation you have embarked upon. I am in the process of changing jobs and going back to school – reading your blog has been great inspiration! I also love hearing about your yoga experiences! I began practicing Ashtanga just under a year ago and it has had such a positive influence on my mind/body/life.

Thank you for sharing this Jen! I can see the extreme devotion you have to yoga and all of your practices but I can say that you were definitely a great host when I came to stay with you. I hope that you are able to find time with your family, friends and Brandon. You both are such awesome people! 🙂

I kind of feel the same way with my job too. I feel like I’m still working, even when I’m not at the desk at the hotel. And I’m always wanting to go out and do things around the city that will help my job. It took me away from David quite a bit when he was home. I’m hoping to balance all of that out once the slow season kicks in.

It’s been a year of transformation for me as well… but there’s a lot of struggle… and balance is not always possible during transformations… but I’ve realized that it’s ok. Reading blogs like yours is really what’s helping me go through this hard time. Really appreciate you sharing 🙂

We are not only trainers & yoga instructors, but sometimes we are therapists. I love that clients can open up to me and release their frustrations, stress, and happiness on me, but yes sometimes it is draining. It’s important to find that balance, but it’s hard and takes time. Yoga helps me when I’m having those draining/rough weeks. It’s “me” time and allows me to come back to my breath, balance, and leave with a clear mind. Yummy bagel! 😉

I admire your honesty and one of the many reasons I love your blog and it’s one I read everyday (actually the only one I read everyday) is because you are human. I totally understand the balance thing. When my daughter was born (I was 35, turning 36 six weeks later), she rocked my world and four years later I still have occasional problems balancing life with her, my husband, friends, family & life in general but with most things it’s a work in progess. I was so used to my “former” life & ways that it was tough. The beauty of it is the people who know you know that you love them and that you are always there. Remember that because you are doing amazing things!! 🙂
See ya soon!!

I'm Jen and I'm a personal trainer, yoga teacher and the author of Ultimate Plank Fitness and The Complete Guide to Yoga Inversions. I live in Charlotte, NC and share daily updates about food, fitness, yoga and life with two golden retrievers! You can reach me at jen@peanutbutterrunner.com.