My mother had a formidable temper. She was compassionate and kind and not the least bit mean-spirited, but she had a temper. Over our years together, I witnessed her temper from time to time. I came to realize that she was most apt to lose her infamous temper when her keen sense of right and wrong had been violated.

In the early 1980s, my mother made application with the county Board of Education for two different positions working with physically and mentally challenged students. One position was for bus aide and the other for bus driver, which paid some amount better.

She waited several years for an opening, and in the mid 1980s a bus aide position materialized. Aides rode in the bus with the children, watching over them, making sure all was well.

She soon learned, however, that a bus driver position had also opened at the same time; and having been told the next driver position would be hers, she was confused and very angry when the driver job was given to a friend of one of the school administrators.

To her, that was favoritism and a clear violation of hiring policies.

She lodged a complaint with the very person whom she believed to have allowed a personal relationship to influence a professional decision. Because the administrator never took responsibility for that action, my mother never really got over it. She truly loved the aide job; but whenever she saw the person who got “her job,” it was an effort for her not to react.

Oswald Chambers writes, “I cannot redeem the world; I cannot make right what is wrong, pure what is impure, holy what is unholy. That is all the sovereign work of God.”

Dr. Richo explains that we have both psychological and spiritual work to do when the unfairness of life smacks us around. The psychological work is to grieve for the losses due to unfairness and then let it go. The spiritual work is to not retaliate against those who have hurt us.

Once again, the “unconditional yes” is the healthiest response to life’s unfairness. It looks like this: When we are treated unfairly we attempt to make things right by asking for redress. If this does not work, then we let it go, careful not to close our hearts—(understand I am not talking about abuse here-that is a different subject entirely).

Letting go of instances of unfair treatment actually serves to keep our hearts open and helps us to recognize and then receive the next “good thing.”