Then it dawned on me that it should come as no surprise that Covey’s habits can be found in Torah sources. After all, the Hebrew phrase “Torat Chaim” means teachings for life – wisdom for living, and if these principles contain truth, they should be found in the Torah.

Upon hearing the sad news of the passing of Stephen Covey, I felt compelled to write about his principles and where we can find them in Judaic sources.

Habit 1: Be Proactive

The first thing the Jew is told to do in the morning, according to the Code of Jewish Law, is to “wake up like a lion.” By waking up with vigor and not hitting the snooze button, I make the statement that just as God is beyond the limits of time, I, too, can stretch those limits and not allow myself to be “pushed around” by time. Rather, I will act with ferocious strength and seize the day.

This is true power – to realize what you are and who you could be, and then proactively take your life into your hands.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

In Lecha Dodi, the song that welcomes the Shabbat on Friday night, we sing “that which is last in action is first in thought”. The fact that Shabbat was created last testifies to its being the ultimate purpose and goal of all of creation. In a sense we can say that God “began with the end in mind” – and Shabbat is the day the lends purpose to everything we do during the week since Shabbat is the day that is set aside for experiencing all that has been built up during the week.

One way to look at the weekday/Shabbat relationship is Quantity versus Quality. The weekdays are about building and multiplicity – that which is quantifiable. And Shabbat is about experiencing and oneness – that which is qualitative. Therefore, the weekdays have more of an affiliation with the physical whereas Shabbat is the day of the soul.

Shabbat is the day in which we move away from the building of this physical world to experience the spiritual inherent in every aspect of it. It is the day that embodies wholeness and contentment; experiencing the glass totally full instead of half empty. It’s when we stop doing and just experiencing being, tasting the fruits of our labors.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

There is an idea in Kabbalah that many things in the world and body consist of a “main” and a “subsidiary.” The subsidiary always comes to serve the purpose of the main and, in turn, assumes the identity of the main through its association with it. For example, eyelids are a subsidiary to the eye. They serve the purpose of the eye though their protection of it, and gain their identity through that role. Hence, we call them eyelids. The same principle can be applied to fingernails, orange peels, and many other things.

In each of these examples, what gives the subsidiary its identity is not the object itself, but its designated purpose. Similarly, if we focus on our priorities in life as our “main” and our means to support ourselves as we strive to get there as our “subsidiary,” we can infuse all our secondary activities with the meaningfulness of the main. If we put first things first and stay conscious of what we are shooting for and how the means will help us get there, the means themselves take on the meaningfulness of the ends, and we live a happier, more fulfilled life.

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

One foundational teaching in Kabbalah is that God looked into the Torah and created the world. Just as a builder looks into a blueprint and builds a building, so too, God “looked” into the spiritual concept of the Torah and created the world; the Torah is the “blueprint” of creation.

In a building everything has its place and its purpose. If something is out of place or not strong enough to fulfill the task allotted for it, the building as a whole is affected.

The same idea can be applied to the world. Even though each of us is a unique individual, our distinct actions do not affect only our individual selves. Rather, we are all interlocked, interdependent, and parts of the same whole with the same destiny. The fabric of existence is “unified multiplicity,” multiplicity that is unified at its core. This results in a reality in which the effects of our actions are maximized; a reality in which what we do as individuals has universal consequences; a world in which win/win is the only way to truly win.

Habit 5: Seek to First to Understand, Then to be Understood

The Torah teaches is to judge others favorably. If we look the Hebrew words of this teaching, dan likaf zechut, we find the literal translation to be “Judge in accordance with meritoriousness”. That is to say, we all do good and not-so-good from time to time. We all have our positive traits and out not-as-positive traits. Judging in accordance with meritoriousness means identifying the positive of a person as the true reflection of who they are. When you view and approach the people in your life from this perspective and vantage point, they feel heard, validated, and understood. They feel truly related to.

When you do this for another, that person will, in turn, commit to do the same for you. This is because that other will feel that you “get” him. You see what he is “about”. You see the value in him. You see his uniqueness and you view that as a good thing. He is an asset that is celebrated, not a liability that is tolerated – and then he is more than happy to do the same for you.

Habit 6: Synergize

Just as each part of the body has its own unique and individualistic function that serves the purpose of the whole, so too, the Kabbalists teach that each member of society has his unique and individualistic function that serves the purpose of the whole.

In deeper Jewish thought, this is really the societal ideal and vision – to set up a society of people who are strong in their individuality and willing to share that for the benefit of other; a society of givers. A society made up of individuals that leave the “smallness” of being receiving-minded for the “bigness” of being giving-minded, synergizing to function as one whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

A classic rabbinical teaching is to “designate times for Torah” – to set aside a specific time in our day for what life is really all about. Even though most of our day may be taken up with the means (job, errands, etc.), let’s not lose sight of the ends (our goals, aspirations, and grander purpose). We need to make sure we have an untouchabletime in every day to be directly involved with what really counts – a meaningful conversation with our spouse, quality time with each child, and time for introspection and God.

Sharpening the Saw is all about reconnecting with your roots and the “bigger picture,” and drawing renewed strength and inspiration. It’s about returning to yourself to get a handle on where you’re going in order to sustain balance, constant motivation and vigor, and a passion for life, the world, and your place in it all.

About the Author

Rabbi Eliyahu Yaakov is a sought-after cutting-edge speaker on Kabbalah, relationships, parenting, and life. His Amazon bestseller, Jewish By Choice: A Kabbalistic Take on Life & Judaism, has won wide acclaim as one of the clearest, most comprehensive, easily accessible, and practical depictions of Kabbalah and the "whys" of Judaism. His latest book is Parent by Choice. Connect with him on Facebook.

We are a Jr.k-12th grade Community Jewish Day School which is a Stephen Covey 7 Habits, Leader in Me School.There are a few Jewish Day Schools in the world which have embraced the 7 Habits through a Jewish lens. Contact me, Karen Feller, Head of School, if you would like to know more about our great success in developing the "leader within" our students, teachers, administrators.

(3)
MSZG,
July 23, 2012 6:50 PM

Chochma Bagoyim Taamin!!

As I began reading the book, I was unaware of the author's religiousity. When I got into the first habit I was sure he was someone who believed in God. How can one write about success and effectiveness without understanding God's role in our lives. Sure enough, I skipped to the end (319) where Covey explains his belief that "correct principles are natural laws, and that God, the creator and father of us all, is the source of them." " There are parts to human nature that require the power of God to deal with." " To the degree to which we align ourselves with correct principles, divine endowments will be released within our nature enabling us to fulfill the measure of our creation." " We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
Throughout the book, which I have read many times, I shared your thoughts exactly!
Almost every page brought to mind a statement of our Chazal or the great words of the baalei mussar both then and now.
If only we as Jews would focus more on our dvekus bahashem and truly be a light unto the nations. Unfortunately we get so caught up in the distractions of this world we forget about what's important.
I make parts of the Book required reading for the parents of my students.
This Is a must read for anyone who wants to be mashpiya on themselves and thereby be mashpiya and help others!!
Great job.

(2)
Marshall Nolan,
July 22, 2012 10:58 PM

Most Excellent and profound

Rabbi,
Truly one of the better article I have read looking at life.
Thanks so much.

(1)
Yakov Engel,
July 22, 2012 7:06 PM

7 "Jewish" Habits

R' Yaakov,
Your interpretation of Covey's 7 Habits as Jewish habits is very true and accurate. As a certified 7 Habits Facilitator, I have constantly found "Jewish sources" that accurately depict the different Habits.
I would like to share something I found recently in Chovos Halevovos Shaar Bechina (See R' Avigdor Miller's monumental translation) where he talks about the main reasons people are "unhappy" with their lives. He says that many people see what other people have and they feel that if someone else has, it must be that it was taken from him (Keilu hu nishlal mimenu). A good example would be competition. If my competition is doing well it must be they are getting my customers, etc. In reality, its a lack of bitochon.
Covey in win-win calls it, the scarcity mentality vs. the abundance mentality. Where he explains that if we look at this world as a zero sum game (he calls it the pizza pie syndrome) then if someone has a slice of the pie, you have less (scarcity). If we look at the world that wherever this came from, there is more (he calls it the pizza parlor syndrome) then we know that there is enough for everyone (abundance).
Thanks for sharing,
Yakov Engel
Yeda LLC

MSZG,
July 23, 2012 6:52 PM

How'd u become a facilitater? What does it entail? Would be interested in looking into it. Thank you

Yakov Engel,
July 25, 2012 6:24 PM

Becoming a facilitator

If you want to call me, I can explain the process.
Its 845.357.5003.
Yakov

This year during Chanukah I will be on a wilderness survival trip, and it will be very difficult to properly celebrate the holiday. I certainty won't be able to bring along a Menorah.

So if I am going to celebrate only one day of Chanukah, which is the most significant?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If a person can only celebrate one day of Chanukah, he should celebrate the first day.

This is similar to a case where a person is in prison, and the authorities agree to permit him to go to synagogue one day. The law is that he should go at the first opportunity, and not wait for a more important day like the High Holidays.

The reason is because one should not allow the opportunity of a mitzvah to pass. Moreover, it is quite conceivable that circumstances will later change and allow for additional observance. Therefore, we do not let the first chance pass. (Sources: Code of Jewish Law OC 90, Mishnah Berurah 28.)

As an important aside, Chanukah candles must be lit in (or at the entrance to) a home rather than out of doors. Thus, you should not light in actual "wilderness," but only after you've pitched your tent for the night.

There may be another reason why the first night is the one to focus on. Chanukah is celebrated for eight days to commemorate the one-day supply of oil that miraculously burned for eight days. But if you think about it, since there was enough oil to burn naturally for one night, nothing miraculous happened on that first night! So why shouldn't Chanukah be just seven days?!

There are many wonderful answers given to this question, highlighting the special aspect of the first day. Here are a few:

1) True, the miracle of the oil did not begin until the second day, and lasted for only seven days. But the Sages designated the first day of Chanukah in commemoration of the miraculous military victory.

2) Having returned to the Temple and found it in shambles, the Jews had no logical reason to think they would find any pure oil. The fact that the Maccabees didn't give up hope, and then actually found any pure oil at all, is in itself a miracle.

3) The Sages chose Chanukah, a festival that revolves around oil's ability to burn, as the time to teach the fundamental truth that even so-called "natural" events take place only because God wants them to.

The Talmudic Sage Rabbi Chanina Ben Dosa expressed this truth in explaining a miracle that occurred in his own home. Once, his daughter realized that she had lit the Shabbos candles with vinegar instead of oil. Rabbi Chanina calmed her, saying, "Why are you concerned! The One Who commanded oil to burn, can also command vinegar to burn!" The Talmud goes on to say that those Shabbos lights burned bright for many hours (Taanit 25a).

To drive this truth home, the Sages decreed that Chanukah be observed for eight days: The last seven to commemorate the miracle of the Menorah, and the first to remind us that even the “normal” burning of oil is only in obedience to God's wish.

In closing, I'm not sure what's stopping you from celebrating more than one day? At a minimum, you can light one candle sometime during the evening, and that fulfills the mitzvah of Chanukah - no “official Menorah” necessary. With so much joy to be had, why limit yourself to one night only?!

In 165 BCE, the Maccabees defeated the Greek army and rededicated the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. Finding only one jar of pure oil, they lit the Menorah, which miraculously burned for eight days. Also on this day -- 1,100 years earlier -- Moses and the Jewish people completed construction of the Tabernacle, the portable sanctuary that accompanied them during 40 years of wandering in the desert. The Tabernacle was not dedicated, however, for another three months; tradition says that the day of Kislev 25 was then "compensated" centuries later -- when the miracle of Chanukah occurred and the Temple was rededicated. Today, Jews around the world light a Chanukah menorah, to commemorate the miracle of the oil, and its message that continues to illuminate our lives today.

A person who utilizes suffering to arouse himself in spiritual matters will find consolation. He will recognize that even though the suffering was difficult for him, it nevertheless helped him for eternity.

When you see yourself growing spiritually through your suffering, you will even be able to feel joy because of that suffering.

They established these eight days of Chanukah to give thanks and praise to Your great Name(Siddur).

Jewish history is replete with miracles that transcend the miracle of the Menorah. Why is the latter so prominently celebrated while the others are relegated to relative obscurity?

Perhaps the reason is that most other miracles were Divinely initiated; i.e. God intervened to suspend the laws of nature in order to save His people from calamity.

The miracle of the Menorah was something different. Having defeated the Seleucid Greek invaders, the triumphant Jews entered the Sanctuary. There they found that they could light the Menorah for only one day, due to a lack of undefiled oil. Further, they had no chance of replenishing the supply for eight days. They did light the Menorah anyway, reasoning that it was best to do what was within their ability to do and to postpone worrying about the next day until such worry was appropriate. This decision elicited a Divine response and the Menorah stayed lit for that day and for seven more.

This miracle was thus initiated by the Jews themselves, and the incident was set down as a teaching for all future generations: concentrate your efforts on what you can do, and do it! Leave the rest to God.

While even our best and most sincere efforts do not necessarily bring about miracles, the teaching is nevertheless valid. Even the likelihood of failure in the future should not discourage us from any constructive action that we can take now.

Today I shall...

focus my attention on what it is that I can do now, and do it to the best of my ability.

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