ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND

13 November 2014

31 October 2014

Russ and I decided we are going to just give out candy this year to all the kiddies before we sedate them with methohexitol and sell them to kiddie porn rings and watch late night horror movies (we live in Palmdale now, it's not like there are Halloween shabangs in this town and DUI checkpoints are not our travel friends). I was thinking of hiding behind bushes and scaring them as they come up to the door, but I don't want kids screaming; "Why is that half naked man coming up and screaming at us daddy?!" Besides, what if one of them falls down trying to run away? I'm not risking the kiddie traffickers knocking off the price if we give them bruised merchandise, they already low ball us as it is.

I hope you all have a blast of a Halloween for those, my humble readers of my blog.

21 October 2014

19 October 2014

I want this thing and watch all the poon just fall on my lap (watch the video). On a forum they say it makes you look like Darth Vader, but it works really well. I think it makes you look more like the monster controlled by the Skrill:

18 October 2014

What's creepy about this movie is the director Victor Salva admitted to giving blowjobs to the youngest kid, Nathan Winters, starring in this. Salva didn't get work again until someone took a chance with him and asked him to direct the horror movie "Jeepers Creepers" that became a big hit and Salva has been directing films since. If you look at other Salva movies, "Jeepers Creepers 2," you'll notice a lot of young shirtless guys.

16 October 2014

15 October 2014

My sister slow cooked a pork shoulder. The meat was stringy when I kept poking it, but the fat looked tender and juicy and crispy on the outside and it looked edible enough to put in a tortilla, shake a little malt vinager on it with some salt. I can say now I know what a wendingo craving is with having a taste of flesh you can't get enough of (wendingos of Indian lore that once they taste human flesh, the crave it more and more to the point they start eating their own fingers).
Next I tried well seasoned steak fat that was so good, it opened a 3rd, grease dripping, eye. I don't know what's with me and this fat fixation to where I'm asking everyone to stop giving the fat to the dogs and give it to me to cook up. Fat is a carrier of taste to the taste buds so maybe that's why I'm staring at the fat in Russ's elbows when he's sleeping. I must have a recessive gene because I learned my aunt Lencha also liked to eat steak fat (she dies of a massive coronary in her lounger chair and they didn't know she was dead for a week so maybe this new taste discovery doesn't bid well for me).