10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There) is a program to help us develop habits to grow a joyful spirit. Many of us sabotage our happiness by habits that we might not even be aware of. Identifying and changing these habits can build a reservoir of well-being to enhance our happy times and sustain us during challenging times.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Everything Is Impermanent (revisited)

I was looking for something in a box of old papers. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did find an old college paper that I must have thought was brilliant at the time because I saved it. I never save anything. As best I can tell, it was a philosophy paper. I’m quite sure it definitively answered all the deep questions of life once and for all.

But...I can’t read it. Back in the dark ages of my college education, apparently we were allowed to write our papers in pencil. And in an unintended scientific experiment, I have now discovered that papers written in pencil and then stored for decades in boxes in the attic will fade until the writing is so faint that most words are illegible.

Sigh. Like a supernova, my solutions to the universal questions burned brightly and were gone. And I can’t recreate them because I’m not half as smart now as I was when I wrote them.

Here today gone tomorrow, so don’t get attached to things. ~Maude, in “Harold and Maude”

55 comments:

Galen, I laughed when I read this. I still have some old college papers, and not only does pencil fade, so does typewriter ink.

I'm sure you had some good ideas back then, even though you can't review them now. It was the beginning of your journey! I think when we're still in college, writing papers on all the deep ideas of life, it's hard to imagine that that is just the beginning.

Tina, I don't know if my ideas were good or not, but I do remember thinking they were so original and then later realizing that many other people had thought about them already! Glad to share a laugh with you today. Thanks for commenting.

hey Galen - they were probably good but like Tina mentioned, the beginning. They may not have been the most original and you may have seen those ideas later everywhere else but your writing and reflections from your perspective, as they are now, are 100% unique and original :)

Ha..... Harold and Maude. I remember he gave her something (can't recall what it was) and she immediately tossed it and said, "Now I'll always know where it is."You don't really think you were smarter in college, do you? You were kidding. Sometimes it's hard to tell on writing.

Manzanita, If my memory is correct (it often isn't), he gave her a token that he had made in a machine. He gave it to her as they were sitting on a bank overlooking some water. She threw it into the water.

Was I really smarter in college? Perhaps my mind was more agile then. I certainly had more mental focus and stamina--I could study for hours and hours. But I definitely wasn't "life smart." When I was teaching in law school, I saw my younger self in many of my students. Their minds were quick and sharp, but they lacked judgment and wisdom.

Was I ever as brilliant as I alleged in the post? Now that was definitely kidding!!

So true, Galen, so very true! I was recently checking Amazon to see how my remaining books -- published between 1979 and 2008 -- were doing and found that most were out of print and the rest being sold at heart-breaking bargain prices. The tangible signs of a successful writing career are just as ephemeral as those old pencil-written college papers and discovering this is just another step of letting go and being at peace with what is.

Kathleen, That is a great example. When I retired from teaching law, so many people talked about my legacy and how I would be remembered. But I knew that as soon as the current students graduated, no one would remember me at all! Well, not the students anyway. Fame is elusive, or at best fleeting for most of us. But for successful writers such as yourself, there is always the next book to put you back on top! Thanks for commenting.

Beautifully written, Galen. I am slowly teaching myself not to get too attached to anything, because like what you said, nothing is permanent, whether it be things, people, relationships, etc. I guess it is something that we should learn to accept.

I loved the quote in the end too, which says it all. We do tend to get attached to things and people, and I think that's part of human nature too. But we are the ones who suffer when they are gone later. I guess it's best to not let them affect you, though I know it's easier said than done. :)

Harleena, So true. It is human nature, and we do cause ourselves suffering by virtue of it. It's easier for me when I can step back into the bigger perspective, but as you say, easier said than done. Thanks for your comment.

Had to smile, because it made me think of all my pencil ramblings when l was in college - l wrote poetry everywhere too - in pencil! A little sad to think how fast life has passed by up till now, at the same time it makes me want to apprechiate every moment of what is left be it forty years or four. Blessings Pam

Pam, I wrote poetry, too! I had a whole stack of it in my college dorm room. During a break, the housekeeper threw away all my poetry. No computers back then so it was gone forever. One of my first lessons in impermanence! Thanks for commenting.

Harold and Maude was one of my favorites when I was young...might be a good time to watch that one again! Remember Cat Stevens, "If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free..."

Galen,Love the quote at the end. I try to never get attached to "things" because it can be somewhat devastating when you realize they're gone forever. Just think of all the masterpieces done in pencil that we've lost over time. However, I believe that the solutions to everything are still inside us even after time erases the hard copy. =)

That's what we get for digging around in old boxes and portfolios [you and me both this week Galen] It's funny when our lofty aspirations come back to remind us of who we are and what we stand for. Our earliest attempts I think are the least polluted. They are pure of heart and innocent. What a shame your words have been lost... but I tend to agree with Kris [above] that everything that ever was... is still inside us somewhere just bursting to get out [on a side note - I bet there's a way for you to retrieve those words via forensic methods - maybe google it - or take it to the police station] LOL

I am smiling on this one; I have a few papers just like that. I am concerned about a some pencil written letters by my grandfather sent to his mother when he served in the First World War and was killed over in France. They are a treasure and I can still read what is on most of them. It is one of those things that I plan to get on the computer. This was a perfect post to get me to schedule time to do that before I won't be able to read them.Blessings!

Linda, I tend to throw things out as well. That's why I was surprised I kept this paper. I guess you and I don't think that we'll ever be famous enough for people to care about these things after we're gone! (Or, in my case, it's better if they don't know!) Thanks for your comment.

When we were in our twenties, we thought we were the brightest star in the sky. My take is, you're probably better off not being able to read those faded pencil marks . . . God does know what's best. And, truthfully, I REALLY don't want to find my college papers! :)Love and blessings, Galen!

I'd argue you are wiser now than when you wrote them because of the additional few decades of experience which is our greatest teacher. So if anything, you would refine, rebut and enhance any previous papers/thoughts.

And the best part of this story is how even philosophy (yours and even the greatest philosophers of the world) share ideas, thoughts which are impermanent as well. I'm with Martha - probably a good idea they are gone. But I would probably still take out a magnifying glass and look atthe print under bright lights to see if I can make out my handwriting. haha :)

I just hoard and one fine day I find so much out there that I think i should get rid of them all. Attachment?!?! Well maybe but after a point those attachments become clutter and tend to clog positive energies.

Too funny Galen! I think it may be the Universe's way of telling you that you need to figure it all out again!Speaking of so many years ago. I was cleaning up a closet the other day and came across two copies of the manuscript for my first book (never published). One copy had been typed out and the other was a photocopy! It's about three inches thick, though it was double-spaced, as those things used to be! Yikes!Should I burn them - or at least one?Lori

I once went on a trip to China with my best friend and she was the designated photographer. She took hundreds of photos, but later found out the camera was not working and no pictures came from that trip. We were at the Great Wall, up in Mongolia in a yurt, in Beijing on a bicycle, but all we have is our memories of this trip. It was hard, but somehow I've decided that perhaps memories are the best pictures. Great post!

Katherine, What a disappointment. But you are right. Not having a visible record doesn't negate anything about the trip. A trip, by the way, that sounds like a wonderful adventure! Thanks for commenting.

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About Me

I am a Southern girl transplanted to the Pacific Northwest. I have 5 kids, 2 grandchildren, 6 birds, and a dog.
My new blog, No Way Cafe, is about how the principle of wu wei, or non-action, can manifest in our lives, bringing peace and joy to our spirits. This blog is inspired from many sources, including the Tao Te Ching and my martial arts practice.
My first blog was about 10 habits that transformed my life from one grounded in fear to one grounded in joy. I no longer add new material to this blog but it's still online.
Galen Pearl is my pen name.