New Miley Cyrus Topless Photos

I’ve been blessed with many advantages over other people. Advantages like being prettier than the average man and having hands so perfect that people will pay $5 to touch them for five minutes.

Though I could go on forever about how much better I am than you or any regular person, I’ll just say that my biggest advantage is my memory. I never forget a thing. Sometimes I say to people, “I totally forgot, I’m sorry.” The truth, however, is that I didn’t forget and they were ignored.

Today was the first time I’ve ever doubted my memory. A scan of Miley Cyrus’s Vogue Germany photos surfaced online and I genuinely can’t remember if I’ve posted them before. It’s just that Miley Cyrus is topless so often that I can’t differentiate the incidents of Miley Cyrus toplessness anymore. Normally celebrity nudity is the easiest thing to remember because it happens so sparingly. Miley Cyrus is topless so often that how can anyone keep up?

So I apologize if I’ve already shared these pictures of Miley Cyrus’s boobs, but who cares? She’s hot, we like boobs.

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