Hello, kids. Today’s featured word is “JEALOUSY!”

I lost a few brain cells watching last night’s episode. It was on par with sitting through 30 minutes of 6-year olds playing the “I know you are but what am I” game.

So, it’s the day after Alex and Jenn had their quickie in the guest room and the guilt is setting in just as their hangovers are wearing off. Colie is, of course, suspicious of what exactly happened the night before. So, in true Real World fashion, Colie hangs out right outside the shower (which happens to be in the middle of the living room) as Jenn is bathing. And for some reason, Jenn is not uncomfortable with this. Anyway, as Colie is watching Jenn shower (seriously), she notices a hickey. It’s obviously from Alex and here’s where the crying parade begins. I’ll sum it up for you:

Jenn: I’m so sorry, I’m easy when I’m drunk.

Colie: It’s OK, so am I. I love you.

Jenn: I love you, too, and you’re, like, my best friend.

Colie: You’re my best friend, too. Forget about only knowing each other for 36 hours.

Jenn: Yeah, skanks like us need to stick together.

Colie: Like, totally.

Except this went on much longer. Mind-numbing, I tell you, mind-numbing.

Player of the year

And what does Alex have to say all about this?

“I think she wants me to feel bad.”

I’m speechless. This guy is priceless! He thinks she might be angry? He’s like Alfred E. Newman, “What, me worry?”

Nick’s 15 minutes

The girls of the house then go out for drinks and Colie picks up some ugly dude named Nick. She brings him home so she can try to make Alex jealous, but, he’s not fazed. She, instead, ends up looking like an idiot and Davis whips out with, “you need to have some standards.” BURN! Later on, Alex becomes Mr. Nice Guy and asks Colie out on a date. I guess he feels bad. What a loser. They then sleep in the same bed and make a pact not to hook up with anyone for 24 hours. Yeah, right.

Mr. Emo?

It turns out Mr. Nice Guy didn’t ask Colie out on a date but Mr. Emo did. Yeah, you read right. Alex claims he has an alter ego named Mr. Emo when he’s drunk who just loves everybody. And that he would not have asked Colie out on a date or agreed to the pact had Mr. Emo not been around. How convenient. Again, like watching 6-year olds.

Next show teaser

Someone pulls a Michael Richards on Stephen at a bar. And it seems Davis fled the scene without sticking up for his roommate. This ticks Tyrie off and it looks like I underestimated him. He may clock someone (Read: Davis) on the third episode and not my initial guess of the fifth or sixth. We’ll see …

Oh, and they better have more cast members on the show next week. If I have to hear Colie whining about Alex not wanting her, I’m going to chuck.