Isis changes its name

The U.S. mobilewallet platform Isis has had to change its name because it is fed up with being associated with decapitations.

Isis is backed by AT&T, T-Mobile and Verizon and not by Saudi Arabia and al-Qaeda and none of its staff remove heads from journalists, unless they write stories like this one.

It appears that the rebranding exercise will mean that Isis will become Softcard, which is nice, fluffy and well soft. No mention of digging up Shiite saints, destroying ancient relics or shooting heretics.

Softcard CEO Michael Abbott, who did not pose with an AK-47 or display the heads of his victims said that he had desire to share a name with this group and our hearts go out to those affected by this violence.

“Your current Isis Wallet will continue to work as it always has. In the next few weeks, we will launch the updated Softcard app. At that point, you can update your app as you normally would and see that your Isis Wallet has become Softcard.”

Of course, there is a big risk that Softcard may have hacked off the Ancient Egyptian Goddess Isis who was once a rival to Christianity. Isis, the Goddess, is unlikely to change her name and a spokesman threatened us with a lightning bolt for asking.