MayDay MayDay

What’s poppin’ guys!

So it’s the month of May already… and I’m feeling like posting a new entry. Yup, just for the sake of writing on the second day of this lovely, beautiful fifth month of the year. You know, when it comes to May, things that are crossed my mind are colours and flowers. Many beautiful and colourful blooming flowers =) and since Mother’s Day is in this month, as well as Teacher’s Day, so I hope there will be many beautiful memories that we all can create in this lovely month. Oh yes, and the holy month of Ramadhan is about to come soon, in 2 weeks time to be exact. So, yeah. ^^

Writer writes, right?

Okay, just wanted to type that out. I just felt like it sounded cool, plus it’s a tongue twister. lol.

I have good news to share. The friendship between my ex-BFF and I is slowly recovering. Alhamdulillah, she finally came and apologized to me and explained about how she was being completely oblivious and stupid for not valuing our friendship all this while. It was such a total relief for me, because I just hate war. And of course, I do accept her apology with open arms and now we are cool! But we have come to an agreement that we need to fix this friendship slowly, so as for now and forever I think, we just maintain as normal friends. And another thing, you guys remember Panda? Well apparently she is now happy to be back with her BFF again. So we are all good now. Yay! There goes the rainbow after the hurricane. =)

And recently,

I was chosen to be one of the “Guru Muda” for English subject at school. Basically Guru Muda is a program to help the students who are weak in a particular subject through their well-performing peers. I am super happy that I can help my friends by sharing my knowledge with them. It is such a satisfaction for me when I get to teach them and they understand what I deliver. Plus at the same time, it helps me to learn and remember the notes and sharpen my knowledge too. But from my point of view, it is better to teach the boys than the girls. I don’t know, it’s just that I feel kind of shy when I teach my girlfriends. And that makes me feel so uncomfortable. Also, I think the boys are more attentive when a girl teaches them. XD

Okay, well, this may sound a little corny.

Probably funny. It depends on how you take it. But hey, we are grown up kids, right? Ah-ha. So here goes the story. Just about last week, I received a note from someone. From someone who admitted to be my admirer. I was at the school canteen when suddenly a human approached me from my back and told me that someone asked him to pass a piece of paper to me. I was blur at that moment but I immediately opened it and geeeez… “This boy really has the guts” I told myself. Kemaen dia ni. Ehe.

To the person who wrote this for me, if you happen to read this – THANK YOU. You are very sweet and I really appreciate your effort. I hope you have a nice day! That’s all I can say. And yeah, keep writing beautifully okay =D

Oh! What is this feeling!

I have another thing to share. Something that I feel embarrassed and sad at the same time. Mixed feelings I can say. But I just gotta write it. Well, like a month ago, there was this boy in my class who has been really nice to me. He would DM me everyday, like every time we go back from school, in the morning, noon and sometimes at night. Asking me about school stuffs, homework, about my well-being and etc. He is such a nice friend. He often gives me chocolates and so I thought, hey, you are so kind to me, and then we became very close. Probably he can be my next BFF.

Until one day, he texted me and confessed to me that he is actually in L__E with me. I am really sorry I can’t even type that word out. I mean whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! wuwuuuu…How in tarnation would you say something like that? We are so cool as friends already! I felt freaking guilty because I have to refused him, literally because I have no feelings towards him and oh my lord, I felt super guilty for telling him that. I mean, he is such a nice and lovely person, a good friend I can tell. But it’s not that easy for me to have feelings for someone.

I feel really bad =( I feel bad to turn down someone’s feeling, especially when he is a good person. And since then, we are not as close as before. Even though he told me that he can take it. We are still friends though, but not as close as last time. No more DM-ing, plus, no more chocolates for me *fake hope* Huhu.

See, people. Being friendly with boys does not mean that you are flirting with them. This worries me much actually. Sometimes I question myself if I am really a bad person. Hurting people’s feeling is something that I really want to avoid. But I am just like everyone else. I have feelings too. Even though I am not a person who can easily fall for someone, but one thing that I know, I am loyal. And faithful. And caring. Because if I am once in love, I’m 100% in, heart and soul. Sooo… to my future soulmate, whoever and wherever you are, you don’t have to worry so much about me. Trust me, loyalty is rare. If you find it, keep it. Gituuuuuu. So is he a lucky star or what? Ekeke.

Okay enough about that. *TMI*

Another thing that I hate is, people often mistake my kindness for weakness. I try to be kind and nice to everyone, but they keep on asking me to do ‘favors’ for them. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to help them, but why would they ask someone’s help when they can do the thing themselves? For example, I once helped this girl with her homework because she said she had 2 tuition classes the night before, so she didn’t manage to finish her homework, and that was why she asked for my help. So I did. But then, day after day, she kept on asking me to help her with all her homework, which I think she is way too much! So I thought this really needs to stop. I finally told her that she just got to stop taking advantage on people who have been very nice to her and I told her to change. Sadly she just ignored me and started to look for another “maid”. Well, I did what I had to do. Too bad for her though :/

“I’m kind to everyone too, but if someone is unkind to me, they don’t deserve my kindness anymore. If unkind people continue being treated kindly, yea maybe some will “convert” to being kind too, but many will exploit the kindness and use it to selfish ends. So you have to put an end to the cycle at some point, and the most effective way to do that is to put them in their place.”