I love how James Lupin and Sirius are almost having a conversation and then Peter just turns in randomly, with cake and drowned rabbits :) Also how Moony occasionally manages to get in a word edgewise about what first-years should actually listen to! This is awesome!

dear moony,
I KNOW UR SECRET! BTW i won't tell i just want to be ur friend. im lonely. I want to know if we have the same secret! Meet me by the black lake so we can talk k?
-Stella

Clariona chapter 31 . 10/4/2013

Hi guys,
I have a crush on a particular person who is here at the school, but I'm finding it - um, I mean him - to be very remote and inaccesible. He doesn't seem to understand anything I say. Also, there's the problem of me getting very wet when I go down to the lake - um, our special place - to be with him.
What should I do?
Thanks guys,
Sawmped by Love

I stole your firewhiskey and pie *evil laugh*, but Sirius how do you get the girls I mean you are butt ugly, so what is your secret?

-Bobby Bill

P.s. the pie tastes good.
P.s.s The firewhiskey does too
P.s.s.s Haha

Guest chapter 17 . 5/9/2013

Dear Marauders,
I have a question for each of you.
Peter: How did you get into the Marauders? Or Hogwarts, come to think of it...
James: Why are you so jealous of Snape? It's stupid to hate him just because he loved Lily before you!
Sirius: Why are your balls green?
Remus: How do you cope with them?

Love from,
Destitute Orangutan.

Guest chapter 16 . 5/9/2013

Dear James,
What do you say to a threesome with me, you, and Lily?
Love, Weird Person

Guest chapter 15 . 5/9/2013

Oh my lovely Lily flower

I want to snog you for an hour

You clear away the foggy fog

For you are a beautiful Hogwarts hog!

If I could chop off your head and mount it on my mantle

I would because I am a pathetic bastard and should stop bugging my bestest friend Sirius for stupid song lyrics.

Oh lovely Lily I'm not a fag

So what do you say to a nice long shag?

In the cupboard full of brooms?

Or on the floor of the common room?

You can choose I don't mind

Because I am a horny bugger and really should have been happy with just one verse because now the magnificent Sirius is getting tired of humouring my sorry arse.

Well, I don't know. Hey! Let's get a duck and put it in a hole and find out! James; get the duck. Remus; the shovel. Pete; start digging. I will sit around sipping butterbeer and listening to the quack echoes, or lack thereof.

-Pads

-

Why do I have to dig? I think I'd be better at drinking the butterbeer.

-Pete

-

No Pete, I have to be the one who drinks and listens because of my wondrous drinking and listening abilities.

-Pads

-

Mostly drinking though.

-M

-

Quiet you.

-S

-

Where am I supposed to get a duck? They don't just grow on trees, you know.

- J

-

Why don't you just use an owl?

-Pete

-

Because the sound waves of a duck and an owl are completely different you blockhead.

-James

-

We could get that girl Sirius saw the other day, he said she had the voice of a duck, that's the same thing as sound waves right?

-Wormy

-

No.

-J

-

Just. Get. A. Duck. Turn a water goblet into one or something. This is an emergency people!

-S

-

It's all to do with the vocal chords.

-P

-

Since when do you know about ducks and such James?

-S

-

I like birds, what's it to you?

-J

-

I think we should just leave this to Prongs seeing as he seems to be on top of things when it comes to quacking birds and sound waves. So, tell us James, do ducks' quacks echo?

-Moony

-

Yes they do. They are still sound waves and it travels the same as all other sound waves and bounces of walls and stuff. Also, my aunt has this farm in Ireland and at night, the ducks quack so loud that it echoes off the metal walls of their shed and can be heard in the near-by muggle town, which is like, further than Hogwarts is to Platform 9 . Yes they echo.

-James "Duck" Potter

-

And therein lies the truth. Thank you for that James.

–M

i died laughing. literally. now edward cullen bit my neck and turned me into a vampire! yippeeee!

I really must protest. You are not actually asking advice of us! That is entirely against the point. That sort of behavior is NOT ON and being thus I shall not apologise for Sirius, James and Peter. If they want to give you a hard time they can do so. You… ruiner of advice thingies.

-M

-

Moony that is just sad. You should not get involved when we "give people a hard time." You couldn't insult someone to save your life. Go be polite somewhere else.

-Padfoot

-

I thought I was being quite harsh actually.

-M

-

You sad, sad little man.

-Pads

MORE MORE MORE.

mom- this is you fault now my daughter is looking forward at something for once!

lolz! i laughed as padfoot's advice ALOT! :Because dear old Prongsie is off chasing the fair maiden who, as legend tells us, is destined to RIP OUT HIS STOMACH. With her bare hands. Which, if you ask me, is just her way of saying, "I love you and I want to have your babies!": :) MORE MORE MORE MOREEEE! HE HE HE HE!

Dear random messengers of doom,
I have a very important question to ask you guys. Why are you guys so f*cking random all the time? Especially when one of you guys (cough*James*cough) made me fail my f*ucking exam one Monday because you randomly attacked me and shoved me in the closet till the test was over? I hope you guys answer or I will personally use the bat boogie hex on you four. Thanks