Thursday, June 24, 2010

Jake and Vienna: Off The Wings of Love

So, as you've probably heard: Jake and Vienna fell off the wings of love this week and broke up.

I would like to share with you my opinions on the matter.

I think that Jake is gay, has rage issues (remember when he kicked the candle??!!! and they never aired it!!), wants to be famous, can't accept that he is gay due to his religion, is controlling and is deceptive.I think that Vienna is NOT intelligent at ALL, was actually dumb enough to think this was some sort of real relationship, is very young and maybe also wants to be famous?

Vienna sold her story to Star magazine... very classy. She basically says that they had intimacy issues and Jake never wanted to get with her. He would act all lovey in public and never touch her in private. Gay. What guy doesn't want to get with his lady? A gay one.

I don't think Vienna realizes he's gay, she just thinks he's not into her. What girl would make that story up? It doesn't really make you look good to say your man is just not that into you. And I don't think Vienna is smart enough to cleverly contrive this whole thing to make Jake look as bad as humanly possible.

That is what Moms tell their little kids when the kid is a big outcast and no one in class accepts him. "Oh Jakey-poo, they are just JEALOUS of you." HAHAHA! Not true. No one is jealous of Jake. And furthermore, that is the dumbest come-back I have ever heard in my entire life: "You're jealous." Please.

Anyway, I remember back in the day when Bachelor couples would break up, it would be this teeny, tiny news item that you would be LUCKY if you happened to spot in some random publication somewhere. You would have to rely on your friends and family to tip you off to it.NOW-a-days, as the ratings soar, Bachelor break ups are apparently front page, lead-story news. Of course, I am thrilled with this turn of events. I can't say that I have watched The Bachelor/ette from the very beginning.. but I've definitely been watching for a long time now. I think I partially tuned in around the time that Doctor Travis was on. Apparently my family, including my Dad were all watching it, so I dutifully and scornfully tuned in with them. Then I guess I got hooked or something. I don't know. I can't remember that far back.

Now, I would like to get philosophical for a moment. I just think the whole phenomenon of reality TV and celebrity is very interesting. Movie stars used to be the famous ones. But now - I think that "reality" stars are more famous than actors. Jon and Kate got more news coverage than I don't know -- Dexter.

I think there's two interesting aspects to it: the "reality" of it and the massive volume of media that exist.

Everyone is a voyeur and enjoys watching other people's lives. (Especially my creepy neighbor, who walks up and down my golf-course-green walk way, smoking her cigarettes, dressed European and staring through everyone's huge sliding door windows).

Everyone is also an exhibitionist and enjoys being watched. The novelty of being talked about by people you don't even know outweighs the fact that they may be saying negative things.

YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc gives us all the chance to be both voyeurs and exhibitionists. So I guess we're all just in a V/E mode?? And that's why "reality" shows are so popular right now? Actually I really don't know. But if someone has a deep theory, please let me know.

And I also think it's like the whole massive media has taken on a life of its own. Dexter, Mad Men are great shows. You can tune in every week and see what happens. But there's another show going on that you can watch any time, all the time... and it's basically the News. People are just living their lives for the whole world to see. On the internet, magazines, TV shows.... and those people are Jake and Vienna. Jon and Kate. Whoever. Whatever.

"Vienna was confronting him, exposing all his lies," a source tells Star. "He started screaming at her: 'Shut up! Don't belittle me! Don't question me! Shut up!' And all of a sudden, he literally jumped out of his chair, pulled back his fist and lunged at her! All of the executives were freaking out. They pulled him off of her and rushed them off to separate rooms."

The source continues, "The execs were screaming at him, 'What the heck are you doing?' And the camera people were all like, 'Oh my god, we can't use any of this.'"

Vienna was then shuttled off to an undisclosed location and currently has network representatives with her, making sure she is safe. "Vienna is scared to death," the source says. "She's all alone out there in L.A. and she's upset. She's terrified."

"She's never seen him be that mean," the source adds. "He's been a jerk and belittled her before, like 'You don't know what you're talking about.' And she's put up with it for the last four months, because she did everything she could to make the relationship work. But now she obviously knows she made the right decision. Who knows how ABC will try to splice and dice this and turn it around for their golden boy, making Vienna look bad like they always do. But people have to know what he did!"

"As this was the first time the two had seen one another since their recent breakup, the atmosphere was emotionally charged," the producers tell ET. "However, and contrary to reports that have surfaced about the interview, at no time was anyone ever physically in harm's way, nor was anyone ever threatened with physical violence."

Anyway.... this interview will be airing on The Bachelorette (for some reason) on July 5th. I am definitely looking forward to watching THAT!!! HAHAHA! Sorry guys, but Team Vienna.