What a long, strange trip it’s been! (or: Dr. Who Sex Toys and You…)

Glad you asked. I’m sorry for my absence these last six or seven months, but I’ve…

a.) Been a full time-mom

b.) Been a full-time student

c.) Got a job outside the house, which prompted me to have an identity crisis as I was no longer staying at home, but then we moved three times and then out to Texas and I was able to take my job “on the road” so that all worked out…

d.) (See above, re: moving three times in-state, then once from Orange County, CA to Austin, TX. Then pity me.)

e.) Been starting a new business: Knit Your Geek On, which will offer geeky handknit/crocheted items for the discerning individual. (Or even the not-so-discerning. Don’t care, money please.)

All of this has conspired to make me the most seemingly-unproductive fucker on the planet. Luckily, I have managed to retain my sense of humor about it all.

I still have Roy. He will be put up for auction, proceeds going to Operation Smile, as soon as I unpack him from the anti-moth/dust/critters/air precautions he’s in and give him a good airing out!

And now, something that may help kick off the reboot of this blog: Facebook Ramblings with Stu.

Stu and I have been friends since 2005. I’ve moved around like a gypsy on the lam, but we still keep in contact, intermittently (and I recently discovered that I’d accidentally memorized his phone number, despite never calling it in the last 7 years). What helps keep our friendship going, I think, is the fact that his insanity parallels my own.

Stu is British, lives in Oklahoma, and plays host to four feline terrorists. We share Doctor Who/Star Wars/Whedonverse love, and he tolerates my craft-making rantings online with enthusiasm. Often, he’ll post something outlandish on his wall, I’ll respond, and then (sometimes with the involvement of his other friends) it takes a turn for the bizarre and blogworthy.

Case in point (actual Facebook conversation from yesterday, with other friends of his chiming in):

Stu: So.. Doctor Who sex toys. The sonic screwdriver is obvious (mine has three speeds).. but how about the Tom Baker scarf cock ring? Or the K9 Sybian?Stu: We could offer TARDIA .. Time and Relative Dimensions in Anal. “it gets bigger on the inside”Kella: ><;Amber: that last one just made me think “OUCH”Stu: Various screw drivers in various sizes.. four five six seven… and David TenInch. And “disappointing” for Eleven. Oh and don’t forget the Master!Kella: Wait till he changes the desktop theme to “coral”…Amber: The Dahlek vibrator, it’s already ribbed for her pleasure. Bonus points if it said “Ejaculate!”Kella: Not ribbed. Bumps. Dalek Bumps. /JeremyPriceAmber: The cyberman blow up sex doll.Kella: ‎…get off mah brainz.Amber: Adipose ball gag?Kella: I’ve actually knit one of those…Stu: I like the way you think. Silence gags and Weeping Angel blindfolds…Kella: Raxacoricofallapatorian butt plugs…Amber: The Ood bullet, round and glowing, of course. the remote control is even part of the appeal!Kella: Only if the bullet is shaped like a brain, and it’s squishy. I think I’ve actually got a pattern in my head for an Ood ski-mask, which could be easily altered to have an “uncut” Ood appearance… “The Ood ski mask, now 100% less Jewish/Puritanical!”Amber: I’m pretty sure that needs to happen!Kella: ‎…Don’t tempt me. People in Austin may die as a result.Katie: This is amazing.Stu: Cyber corsets. With upgrades. And attachments. River Song’s Sensation Enhancing Lipstick.Kella: Window washer’s cart sex swing… for when you absolutely need suspension of your sexual disbelief.Stu: The Captain Jack equal opportunity toy… a vibrator at one end, a fleshlight at the other.Kella: The Gimp Mask of Bo.Stu: The Mickey Smith… a giant vibrating pussy.Kella: …with optional car charger!…The Martha Jones: invades your spaces in all the ways you don’t want, so you feel better after it’s been removed.Stu: Empty Child brand bondage gas mask… Changes everything you say to “Are you my mummy?”Sarah: Omg…. This was by far the strangest thing I read all day.Kella:The Jackie Tyler: Comes in a wide array of dated colors, half out of its package, and will black your eye if you’re not careful.