So one day came a wizard who would do the job rightenlisting in magics most dark and obsceneto work went his demons at a speed to give frightthey'd use 16 child body parts and one old man's shriveled spleen

But the magics were bad and the product distressingand when placed on a shelf they would ruin your dayfor the facial expressions were down right depressingleaving even the Spice Girls with nothing to say

So away they were packed and buried with hastein a cave then sealed off with a Walmart (of course)til the day they escaped and found..no one would payeven the dollar they begged with little remorse

So to you, ugly Spice Girls, I sing thee a songtho your faces cause tears when look'd pon ityou did give me cheer on that day at the shopand I hope no one else had to vomit.

Monday, August 30, 2010

The march of the little Marvel Universe continues...at least until Late September/ Early October when new Marvel 6 inch 2 packs finally hit stores once more!!! I swear I'm so amped up for new Marvel 6 inch I keep having to stop myself from buying the Dum Dum Dugan and Invisible Woman 2 packs that are taunting me at Toys R Us, especially since I have them already. Just the act of buying 6 inch Marvel figures makes me emencely happy!!! Unfortunately, that is still some time away, so for now, drink your fill of Marvel Universe and dream of a brighter tomorrow.

On tap for Marvel Universe we have...

Thanos (a must buy for nearly all collectors, though he is sure to not be big enough)MystiqueMultiple Man (whom I haven't seen wearing this costume in YEARS but never the less.. and worse than that, they are reusing the surfer body, so named because the elongated lower torso makes it look like he's wearing a half shirt)Wolverine (in his Weapon X strike team duds)Constrictor (odd choice on the translucent tendrils..can we get a metal tendril variant please?)Yellow Jacket with itty bitty Ant ManDark Hawkeye (with which we've provided a pic of the Secret Wars Hawkeye so you can see they did produce some new parts)2020 Iron Man (aka Clockwork Smurf)

We've also got a look at some upcoming Super Hero Squad pieces with the Deadpool / Taskmaster, Spider-Man / Ronan and Juggernaut / Wolverine 2 packs. I personally bought my first figures in a long time at San Diego Comic Con in the exclusive set, entirely because they looked more like the cartoon style and not just some kiddified version of Marvel heroes. The faces are way more charismatic and the style captures the humor of the show. Here's hoping they shift more to this style in the future!

It's been a while since we highlighted the good good works of Hot Toys, Japanese masters of the art form known as 12 Inch Action Figures. The crew isn't stopping after perfecting the look of a young Charlie Sheen (Platoon) or old Adrien Brody (Predators). OH NO! They've got some random picks on the way that will, at once, make you flinch from remembering how bad the movie was and decide you HAVE to have the most perfect head of Nick Cage ever created. After all, that's why we bought the 6 inch action figure, isn't it? So we can come up behind people and do the Nick Cage voice?! Now imagine the fun with an even bigger figure. Ahhhhhh...

Hot Toys is proud to present the 1/6th scale Ghost Rider Limited Edition Collectible Figurine with Bike Set from the Ghost Rider movie. The highly detailed Ghost Rider collectible is specially crafted based on the image of Nicolas Cage in the movie, highlighting the newly sculpted head and skull, light-up functions on skull and detailed weapons. The set also comes with a motor bike with light-up functions in front blinkers and wheels.

Artists:- Head Sculpted by Eom Jea Sung (GOX), Head Painted by JC. Hong, Head Art Directed by Kojun, Skull Sculpted by Joseph Tsang and Motor Bike Sculpted by Joseph Tsang

**Battery included for collectible figure, AG1 batteries (3 pieces) are required**Battery not included for motor bike, 3A batteries (3 pieces) are required

Also on tap for the Asian Toy Gods in the realm of Super Hero badassery is a 1978 Christopher Reeve SUPERMAN!!! Not to take anything away from DC Direct or Mattel's offerings in similar formats from the classic Superman films, but when Hot Toys finally shows off their sculpts, I'm sure people will simultaneously spit out their drinks around the world. Korean Artist Arnie Kim is perfecting the figure as we speak. Look for him this Winter.

Finally Hot Toys have just announced they will be making figures (or figure - singular) from Paramount Pictures' Rango, the tale of a hapless chameleon trying to survive in a dangerous world while in the midst of an identity crisis. Who better to voice a neurotic lizard than Johnny Depp! Hot Toys doesn't take on creatures that often anymore but when they do, it is a sight to behold. Just look up their Predators figures and you'll see why I'm excited to see what they'll do with a chameleon in a Hawaiian shirt.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Jim Schultz leads a fulfilling life with countless display cases lining the walls of his home packed with model trains,cars and a giant model of the Nautilus from 20 Thousand Leagues Under the Sea in the center of it all. His world was peaceful until the day he wandered into his local Toys R Us and was shocked to his core at the sight of a Dexter action figure hanging from the pegs. (Cue the Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUN!!! music) Never before had he seen an obvious killer of men embodied in plastic form and worse, available for purchase in the same building as Elmo, Barbie and copies of Operation Dumbo Drop. THE HORROR!! Jim was so traumatized, he alerted the local news in Columbus, Ohio who had grown bored reporting on all the needless death and injustice in the world and felt Jim's complaint was so important, he should get a prime perch to shout from. We at Idle Hands applaud the cutting edge reporting of Bakersfield's Turnto23.com and would like to "enhance" their story with some revelations we've made ourselves. To our dismay, action figures of killers have been right under our noses for years now and no one has noticed or cared to blow the whistle. This injustice ends now with our comprehensive list of KILLERS IN PLASTIC!!

1. Darth Vader - Destroyer of planets, corrupter of minds, killer of children and available in a variety of styles from giant statue to squishy plush! You can even get a little LEGO version. Adorable.

2. Freddy Krueger - Killer of children in dreams and reality, known pedophile and heesterical with the snappy comebacks. There are over a dozen Freddy figures on the market.

3. Lex Luthor - Has been known to sink a coast to up the value of his real estate. Lex may not have a TON of little plastic versions out there, but I can think of 6 just off the top of my head and TWO are hanging in Toys R Us right now.

4. The Joker - Rapist and all around homicidal maniac, this genius jester will blow up a building at will, gas a crowd at a concert or beat a sidekick to death with a crowbar. Relive his most heinous crimes with easily over 50 action figures.

5. Galactus - Let's face it kids, when you want to kill the most imaginary people you possibly can, all at once, you need to pull out the big guns! He's been on the shelves around 5 times before and now the Marvel Universe line presents a brand new GALACTUS action figure! Galactus is a world devouring force of nature in the Marvel Universe and now you can bring him home to torment the cats! There's no better way to wipe out a race of plastic beings all at once.

6. Godzilla - It is damn near impossible to calculate the number of toys and action figures Godzilla has had over the years, but if you are looking for wholesale destruction on your little plastic army people taking residence in our cardboard box cities, look no further than big green. He'll smash em up, burn and up and just plain chew em up...and he's so popular, I can't ever recall a time you couldn't find him in most any toy store on the planet.

7. Zombies - Sure, we are talking ground level killing here and compared to our other entries, the Zombie may not be much of a killing machine on its own, but in groups, the chewing sounds alone are enough to drive little Timmy mad!! Let's see a Barbie do that! NECA currently have a couple of zombies ready to add to your growing army on the pegs at Toys R Us (conveniently placed inches from a certain Dexter action figure).

8. Venom - He may not be brilliant or have access to genocidal death rays, but this favored Spider-Man baddie who plays the good guy just as often as bad guy has one action feature they have yet to duplicate in his many, many plastic forms. He eats people. I even have a figure of this guy with a little speaker backpack that exclaims "I want to eat your brains!" It was always fun at family gatherings.

I could go on for far longer than you'd be interested in reading, so I'll end here. Just be warned. There is terror in the toy isles and if you aren't careful, your child may be next on their hit list!!!NOTE: Not one word in this article is to be taken seriously. Should you be too embarrassed to buy your Dexter action figure from BifBangPow at a TRU location, you can stockpile the toys on Entertainment Earth! Don't tell them I told you so. Bad Bad Bad.

Being the leader of a gang of super human women bent on destruction and the army that falls behind them takes a special kind of woman. A woman named ED ASNER!!

Seven-time Emmy Award winner Ed Asner (Up) reprises his Superman: The Animated Series/Justice League role as Granny Goodness in Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, the ninth entry in the popular, ongoing series of DC Universe Animated Original PG-13 Movies coming September 28, 2010 from Warner Premiere, DC Entertainment, Warner Bros. Animation and Warner Home Video.

Granny Goodness is the primary henchwoman for the evil lord Darkseid, ruler of the distant planet Apokolips and a cruel, ominous being even more powerful than Superman. Asner first voiced the role for four episodes of Superman: The Animated Series, and returned to those evil female roots for two episodes of Justice League and Justice League Unlimited.

Asner’s storied career boasts seven Emmy Awards – three supporting actor honors for his role as Lou Grant on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, two more as the title character in Lou Grant, and a pair of awards recognizing individual supporting performances in the landmark miniseries Roots and Rich Man, Poor Man. He has won more acting Emmys than any other performer, and is the only actor to ever win Emmy Awards for playing the same character in both a comedy and a drama. The five-time Golden Globe winner also served as President of the Screen Actors Guild from 1981-1985.

Live-action accolades aside, Asner has been ever-present in animation for nearly 25 years, running the gamut from guest spots on shows like Animaniacs, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Johnny Bravo, King of the Hill, The Boondocks and Hercules (to name but a few) to regular roles in Gargoyles, Freakazoid, Batman: The Animated Series, Spider-Man and Captain Planet and the Planeteers. He also voiced the role of Santa Claus in the animated television special Olive the Other Reindeer (he’s played Santa Claus for four different film/TV productions).

Asner’s stirring, funny, wonderful portrayal of Carl Fredrickson in Disney/Pixar’s Up had critics wondering why the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences had yet to add a voice acting category to the Academy Awards slate.

Asner joins a Superman/Batman: Apocalypse cast led by fan favorites Tim Daly (Private Practice) and Kevin Conroy (China Beach) reprising their seminal roles as Superman and Batman, respectively. Also featured among the celebrity-laden guest cast is Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age) as the daunting Darkseid, and sci-fi heroine Summer Glau (Serenity/Firefly, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles).

Based on the DC Comics series/graphic novel “Superman/Batman: Supergirl” by Jeph Loeb, Michael Turner & Peter Steigerwald, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse is produced by animation legend Bruce Timm and directed by Lauren Montgomery (Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths) from a script by Academy Award-nominated screenwriter Tab Murphy (Gorillas in the Mist).

Asner, who turns 81 this November, had a few short minutes to answer questions following his latest recording session as Granny Goodness. Take note … or Granny will know.

QUESTION: How does Granny Goodness compare to playing other female characters?

ED ASNER: I don’t think I have played any other female characters before (he laughs). But if I did, she’d have more balls than any of them. It’s become the fashion lately – there’s Brian Bedford in Stratford doing Lady Bracknell in Oscar Wilde’s play. What hasn’t been done enough is women playing men in as butch a manner as possible. That’s got to be even more fun. I’m talking somebody like Marjorie Main pulling it off.

QUESTION: What do you use as a focal point while voicing Granny?

ED ASNER: I’m thinking she’s a lot of chest, a lot of high pressure steam, and that she’s probably got a constant focus on vengeance and wreaking havoc on whoever she can. And I want to get away with as much damage as I can in as high-flown an effeminate form as possible.

QUESTION: You’ve done it all and had long-lasting success in the entertainment industry. What’s the enticement of voice acting for you?

ED ASNER: It’s always a trip a joyful trip to come into the studio, and especially working with this group. Andrea (Romano) is a delight to work with, and Bruce (Timm) knows this genre better than anybody. Plus, it’s the ability to let your imagination take flight – to take chances, to plunge and to soar. That’s something you don’t get to do as an actor. You get to do it as a kid. So I grab the opportunity as often as I can.

QUESTION: With all the animation work you’ve done, and the huge success of Up, can we assume you see animated films and television as a viable source of entertainment.

ED ASNER: I’ve always loved cartoons – I watched them when I was young, I still watch them now. And it is interesting to see how much more adult they’ve gotten in terms of content, from these super hero pieces with their violence and more adult themes to the truly mature, fully-developed stories developed in films like Up and Wall-E. Today’s animation goes places cartoons didn’t used to go.

Take the Merlin/ Arthur myth you know and love. Now add a healthy shot of Raimi-esque magic sauce...which essentially means cut down half the serious moments in favor of an odd moment or 16 with intentionally hysterical overtones. Think Hercules with more magic and some awesome looking creatures! This is what's been playing on the Syfy channel here in the states and if you haven't been watching yet, there's no better time than now! The show is witty, well thought out and extremely well acted even when the action calls for something WAY over the top...like an ogre disguised as a beautiful princess and hating every minute of it. I was also told about a pixie who has inappropriate thoughts about old men. Sold! Want to know more? Here's the skinny right from the crew themselves...

For those of you already on board, scificollector.co.uk has whipped up the action figures you crave in your heart of hearts. This is a 3.75" line kicking off with Merlin, Gaius, Arthur and Morgana, all fully poseable with accessories. No word yet if they will make their way to the states, but we'll keep you posted on that front.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sometime around the 15th of every month, carnivorous collectors of Ghostbusters figures, DC Comics toys and Masters of the Universe Classics figures start to get twitchy. At a very specific time, a gate on the interwebs is lifted and in rush the hordes of people struggling to nab the latest figures only offered online in limited quantities. Many of my brothers and sisters are now familiar with the infamous "White Room" where in they wait for an open spot to click to purchase their toys as quickly as they can...before being dumped into the white room once more. It is a nerve wracking experience and when you attend a convention and see a guy looking up at a now over priced He-Man toy he missed out on, you just might catch each others gaze and begin to weep openly as you share your post-traumatic stress. Why do we continue to torture ourselves? Damnit...we love those little fucking pieces of plastic and we will develop ulcers trying to get them.

They also mention a HUGE sale on November 29th at 9am (west coast time), so mark your calendar, limber up those clicking fingers and empty out your emotional baggage as you'll soon be filling them to the brim.

Idle Hands strives for very little overhead, but we still run into expenses when covering the events you love, keeping our gear up to snuff and the basics ...like feeding ourselves. It's your contributions that help keep us running, so if you love what you read here and you want to see more of it, please chip in!