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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Ladies and Gentlemen, I
write to you from my own little blissed-out corner of the world. Without realizing it, I've been on a writing
hiatus and have been more than just a little distracted and spending almost all
of my free time with the sweetest girl on the planet. For reals!
I've slipped into a cocoon of sorts where it's all love, sex, romance,
giggles and floating hearts above my head.
Jeeeeezus. I'm almost ashamed to
admit it. Well, maybe not that ashamed - I am too fucking happy
to have any shame about this.

I'm so happy, in fact,
that all of my little secrets have been slowly slipping out. Layer by layer, the Mighty Musician is
getting to know all of me - warts and all.
My walls are coming down, my armor has started to wear away and the
guards that have protected all my secrets are starting to fall asleep on the
job! Case in point:

When MM and I met about
a year and a half ago, I could have never predicted then that we would ever become
a couple; we are so oddly matched (which is
to say, perfectly matched, but no one could have ever predicted that). In fact, we're so different, that I was often
surprised that I enjoyed becoming her friend as much as I did, and even more surprised that we became and stayed
really good friends. What I never told MM,
though, is exactly how she came to my attention.
We met last year through that old dating website but I never confessed
to her, until recently, that she didn't come up as one of my "Dating Matches". Of course, I always let MM assume that that
was the case because the truth makes me sound like such a date-poaching dickhead. In truth, I came across MM's profile by way of Nugget
(secret #1).

I'm paraphrasing because it was just so long
ago that I can't remember:

Nugget: "Hey, I just got an email from a girl who's not at all my
type but she's totally yours."

Miss-Adventures: "Oh yeah? What's her screen name?"

After having looked at
MM's profile, I took it from there and sent her an email (she
was so cute and I've always been a sucker for brunettes with blue eyes). I wish I could say that this is where the
story ends but it's not. So, not only am
I a date-poaching dickhead, but after we met, I blogged about MM being a Dating Trading Card (Link: Prospective Dates as Trading Cards) (secret #2).
So, not only am I a date-poaching dickhead who trades prospective dates with my bestie, but I'm also the asshole who then called my now-girlfriend "socially awkward" and "nerdy". Can you just imagine how well that went over?

MM: "'Socially awkward?!' Is that ME?!" (To her credit, she was laughing when she
said this and only half kidding with her indignance.)

Miss-Adventures(literally burying my
face under a pillow):
"Ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am such a dick. I'll go sleep on the couch if you want me to."

Fortunately for me, MM was not
overly offended by my lack of grace, my insulting remarks, nor was she at all butt hurt about being a Dating
Trading Card. I, on the other hand, may
never forgive myself for prematurely labeling my socially awkwardenthusiastically goofy and nerdyquirky girlfriend in a public
forum. But seriously, who would have
ever predicted that we would have stayed friends, much less wind up in blissed-out coupledom?