Mom wasn’t able to get really good “Before” pictures because I didn’t feel like dealing with the pup-arazzi anymore. This bummed her out. She said, “Noodle, it’s going to take away from our review.” To which I said, “Mom, I don’t care. I’m itchy! Just get that stuff on my body!”

So, my apologies. It was selfish but a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.