Movie notes: Super Bowl ads point to the heavy hitters

The movie ads are usually the least interesting of the Super Bowl commercials, mainly because they all seem to be cut from the same cookie-cutter template. No one ever comes away saying, “Wow! Did you see that ad for ‘The Avengers’? What an innovative way to advertise a summer movie!”

My interest is all about titles, not content. Which movies does Hollywood feel are worthy of a $3.5 million Super Bowl ad?

This year, apparently not as many. I counted only seven movie ads during the actual game. Six appeared before halftime.

As you might expect, these are not quirky indie films, which can be made for less than the cost of a single Super Bowl TV spot. These are some of the heavy hitters of spring and summer. And one of them left me profoundly disturbed.

Here they are in chronological order by release date. See if you can figure out which one bothered me so much.

“Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace 3-D” (opens Friday): Just when you thought they couldn’t milk this franchise any more, here comes the the first film of the second trilogy remade in 3-D. Really? Why not start with the original “Star Wars” (1977) instead of the 1999 episode that restarted it all? Does anyone really want to see Jar Jar Binks in 3-D?

“Act of Valor” (Feb. 24): Real, active-duty Navy SEALs star in this mega-action yarn about a mission to rescue a kidnapped CIA agent that uncovers a broader terrorism plot against the U.S. Co-director Scott Waugh is a veteran stuntman.

“Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax” (March 2): Next to “On Beyond Zebra!,” “The Lorax” is my favorite Dr. Seuss book. Published in 1971, it’s an ahead-of-its-time environmental parable in which the greedy Once-ler strips the land of its natural resources (in this case, the colorful Truffula trees) in pursuit of a fast buck despite the warnings of the title character, who says he speaks for the trees. It’s actually a fairly gloomy book, with only a glimmer of hope at the end.

The TV ad, however, makes it look like a colorful adventure romp, with whimsical narration and upbeat music. The studio’s official synopsis follows suit:

“The animated adventure follows the journey of a boy as he searches for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. To find it he must discover the story of the Lorax, the grumpy yet charming creature who fights to protect his world.”

Really? Dr. Seuss must be turning over in his grave.

The full-length trailer is a bit more encouraging. It suggests a “Truman Show” sort of world, where the main characters are encased in an artificial, treeless neighborhood that a boy wants to escape because the girl of his dreams wants to see a real tree. This search takes him into the dark, blasted landscape outside his plastic neighborhood.

“John Carter” (March 9): Pixar’s live-action debut is based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’ ’30s novel “A Princess of Mars,” which iMDB points out was almost the first animated movie ever made. But they never made a deal, and “Snow White” came out instead. The title character leads a rebellion on Mars to save a princess in what looks like a “Star Wars”/”Gladiator” mashup.

“The Avengers” (May 4): There’s no law that says a Marvel Comics movie must open Hollywood Summer, which runs from the first Friday in May through mid-August. It just seems that way. This is the one everyone has been waiting for — the superhero showdown in which Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, the Incredible Hulk, etc. assemble to save earth from Loki’s invading army. Written and directed by Joss Wheedon, which raises the bar even more. This will be a tough act to follow for everyone this summer except perhaps “The Dark Knight Rises,” which opens July 20.

“Battleship” (May 18): The old Hasbro board game was never like this. A hidden alien force bent on — what else? — conquering Earth emerges from the ocean floor in the middle of a flotilla of ships conducting war games. Liam Neeson heads a cast that includes Rihanna and swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker (Huh? Did the aliens interrupt a seaside photo shoot?). Directed by actor Peter Berg (“Friday Night Lights,” the movie and TV series).

“GI Joe: Retaliation” (June 29): Another Hasbro vehicle, the sequel pairs Channing Tatum (star of the 2009 original “The Rise of Cobra”) with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to stop a Cobra spy (Arnold Vosloo) who has been assassinating their colleagues. Bruce Willis joins the noisy fun as the original G.I. Joe.