Riddle me this, Batman! Who wears a cape and takes himself entirely too seriously? Is it...Bibleman?

I've never met Bibleman, but I'm guessing he's a virgin.

Nope. Not him. It's actually Lebron James. See, when he was kicking the crap out of the Chicago Bulls the other night (37 points, 9 rebounds, 7 assists), it wasn't for the obvious reasons, like pride, integrity, or an intense desire to win. No, somebody knocked his headband off.

"That is like my cape. If you knock a superhero's cape off, they get very angry with you. My cape got knocked off. If you looked at my face, you would have seen a look of anger."

And if you looked at my face right now, you'd see me laughing and rolling my eyes. I'm not saying Lebron is full of himself or anything, but somehow I doubt whether each point he scores saves a dying kitten. Once you make the superhero analogy, you might as well start talking in third person, because you're a raving egomaniac waiting to happen. Look, Bron Bron, if you're going to start acting all superheroey, at least have the decency to start hanging out with Wonder Woman. Then at least us guys'll have something to look at. Speaking of which...