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Friday, July 23, 2010

So you know your writer's block is bad when your advertisers inform you that you're not going to get "paid" unless you "post" more "often"..in fact they're going to "remove" their "ads" until they see "fresh content".

Translation: Ragu is not going to send me a check for drinking iced coffee by the pool.

I feel like a grounded teenager.

Anyway. My anxiety-ridden 9 year old (the one who wants to know if I've ever used my pepper spray on a Ninja and who practices her stop-drop-and roll...) has a new fear.

Her: "Mom? I'm really scared."
Me: "Scared of what?"
Her: "Drive-bys. I don't want you to get killed in a drive-by."

My neighborhood:

You can't really see in this picture, but that mailbox is riddled with bullet holes.

So, I explained about there being no gang activity in the immediate vicinity....but I may have spoken too soon because yesterday I looked out my window and saw this:

The f*ck.

Husband: "Those are domesticated chickens. You can tell. They don't run away."

This is twice as funny to me because just last night I had a dream about a wild turkey. And then I had to explain to the boyfriend about how a wild turkey does not, in fact, appear rabid or super-sized but looks exactly like a regular turkey. Just in the wild.

I don't appreciate you using my hamster's likeness in your blog without my permission.

You caught Mr.Mochafrappachino on a really bad day. He was on his period and just found out LOST was over-over. (I moved the wheel away from the television after he started watching Oprah...) He really hates surprises. And Twilight. (i knowwww)

Anyway. I'll let it slide this time. Because we're blog-friendsish and all, but if you want to get a photo of my sweet ninja cat, you're gonna have to pay the piper.

Honestly, don't know who you are...never read you before...found you through pocklock. Sitting at work charting on my obnoxious patient who finally just fell asleep...Just laughed so hard I literally LOL..don't know if I should say "thanks for the laugh" or "Thanks for making me wake up my patient"...grrrrr!

Wild hamsters are scary, man. It's midnight in Switzerland and I'm about to go to bed, and now I'm going to have nightmares about wild hamsters and shooting chickens. You are one mean lady when they take you away from the pool!

All of a sudden I feel like eating chicken parmigiana for dinner. With Ragu, of course!

To those ad people: If you drop HHS, I will refuse to buy all the products you no longer advertise on her blog. Wait...I guess I won't really know what those products are since,...well, I will find out! I have ways!!! And then I won't buy them! So there!