Good news guys, the small penis pageant is back again this year

First off, we bet you never even knew that the penis pageant was a thing, but apparently, in the U.S., it is. Woo.

Last year saw the first ever competition take place in Brooklyn, New York, with six men taking to the stage to compare their, err, packages, across a serious of different challenges – including a skimpy mesh mankini swimwear round.

This is not a joke. Repeat, not a joke.

The winner, Nick Gilronan, a 27-year-old UPS store worker, took home $200 (we know, not much compensation to cover the shame, is it?) and said of his win: ‘The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship.’

Good on you, Nick, good on you.

So, if you fancy entering, your manhood must be under the average of 5.88 inches, otherwise you’ll be turned away, and all entrants have to pay a $5 admission fee.

But on the plus side, just think about adding that impressive title to your Twitter bio…