Month: January 2015

It’s pretty much a given that being in the right crowd can make or break your life, as in the amount of happiness you feel, the amount of inspiration you get and the number of achievements you make.

That is why many people advocate the idea of being in a positive environment and being with the right friends. But it can be hard though. Sometimes we don’t want to let go. We keep making up excuses for both ourselves and others. Other times, we’re blind to the fact that we’re in bad company.

Do yourself a favour and just drop the toxic friends. They’re anchors. You’ll be better off without them, plus you can easily make new friends.

1) They make money an issue

They borrow, but never return on time, if at all. They miraculously disappear all the time whenever the bill arrives. They have a job, but somehow try to make you pay for stuff. If money largely contributes to the doubt you feel in your friendships, then it’s honestly pretty clear they aren’t good friends. They’re only looking at you as a wallet. Nothing more, nothing less. Stick with a group who support each other, financially and other ways.

2) They never follow up with what they say they’d do for you

In other words, they’re full of crap. Talk is so cheap that they’re willing to continuously spend on empty words to make you happy. It’s taking action and keeping to your word that makes for real character. A real friend will never leave you hanging for nothing. You don’t need a friend who constantly takes you for granted like that. You are worth way more than mere words. It’s cheap talk that actually drags you down (since they normally sound so assuring and comforting.) So don’t think that you even need to validate yourself with such talk.

3) They’re always too busy for you

To put it straight, busy is bullsh!t. Everybody is busy today. If you want to make time for something or someone, you’ll make that time. No matter what. If a friend is constantly too busy for you, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship, especially when you’ve put in the effort to make time for them. It’s better to be with friends who’re willing to be in your presence just for the sake of it. That’s real friendship. These are the real guys who will always be there for you.

4) They don’t care about your struggles, only what your success can give them

Ever had friends who’re always so quick to say things like, “Wow you made so much money? Haha so I guess drinks are on you!” It may sound harmless enough, but think about it: How much do these friends really care about your journey to success? How much do they care about how much you’ve grown through your struggles and challenges? If they clearly don’t care at all, they’re never going to be there for you when you’re in need of help. A true friend not only would have been there for you, they’d would be proud to see how far you’ve come. Besides, friendship is about knowing each other for who they truly are, not what they are on the surface in terms of status, amount of money one has or how big his or her house is.

5) They constantly pry on you so they can compare

“How big is your salary?” “How long do you last in bed?” “Oh I bet I scored higher marks in my SATs. What did you score?” As rude as these questions are, the wrong friends have no gripe in asking them. They don’t care if they make you uncomfortable or not. And guess what? They don’t care for the answers either. They just want to compare in hopes of being better than you. And when they feel they aren’t better, they’ll just ask more annoying questions. A real friend wouldn’t intentionally make each other uncomfortable. They don’t compare either. They’re only happy for each other. You shouldn’t have to put up with anything else.

6) They indulge and feed on drama

This is when they constantly gossip and backstab each other. The Whatsapp group has open, online fights. Their Facebook statuses are bitchy and always negative. You’ll be surprised how drama can negatively impact your life. It’s tiring, draining and very disillusioning. It makes you question whether they’d turn the drama on you one day or whether they’re already talking behind your back. Real friends are mature. They’ll all grow together and settle things like adults. Your life never needs extra drama, so stay far from them.

7) You question the change in your life because of them

If you ever need to start questioning yourself, your lifestyle and your life because of your friends, they’re the wrong friends. True and great friendships will elevate you. They’ll make you so happy and inspired that you’d actually wonder, and even fear how your life would turn out without them. So don’t kid yourself. Don’t lie to yourself. You know how you feel. The questions aren’t even going to solve anything. Drop the anchors. Dump the toxic friends. Move on and find better friends. Your life will be better that way. You’ll gain more success too.