Updated: Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Field Report: The Varsity

As Trev basks in the reflected glory of his above-average success this weekend, I've got time to get out another post on the Atlanta trip. Obviously, the first night set the tone for the weekend, but little did I know that the center of the Georgia Tech universe would be the greatest "drive-thru" these eyes have ever seen. Just across the interstate from Tech lays this thrownback behemoth of a Fast Food Nation, The Varsity.

You can always tell a quality establishment by the # of novelty paper hats.

Recommended by every Atlantonian we encountered, The Varsity is an old-fashioned lunch counter revved up to hyperspeed, and a central off-campus landmark. An island unto itself in the vast commercial space of northern Atlanta, it was a welcome sight after aimlessly wandering around a relatively quiet midtown. With the largest parking area near the stadium, even with the short walk over the highway, it was definitely a popular place for tailgaters and tourists, and that's not even counting the awesome power of its southern-fried, greasily delicious secrets.

Crack. Delicious, deep-fried crack containing no less than 10 secret herbs and spices.

McDonald's has its Big Mac, McDowell's has its Big Mick, and The Varsity has two items that are absolute must-haves for any of the non-initiated: the onion rings and the Frosted Orange. After hours of wandering the vast, vast, vast expanses of the Georgia Tech boozescape, picture several small tailgates separated by long stretches of laboratory buildings, Brian and I trudged across the breadth of the Tech campus towards this oasis. While anything in our hazy state would have sufficed, these items absolutely hit the freaking spot like 3 am sliders.

I enjoy a frosty beverage in moderation.

An order of onion rings and a frosty orange milkshake for well under $5? That's one heck of a bargain, especially when the MARTA turnstyles give you those lame Sakejawea dollars for change. If there has ever been a side order fitting of its own meal, it's the Varsity onion ring, and I want to know how many dreamsicles died to produce my Frosted Orange, I expect the number to be in the hundreds. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the Jack Daniels flowing through our veins, but I think the entire feast was fully enjoyed in under 5 minutes, long enough for us to watch Tennessee hang 14 points on Cal on the diner's luxuriously modern flat screens.

As we headed out, I was sure I had added too much sipping whiskey to my To-Go cup...

Bloo attempts to pass off chocolate coins as Sakajawea dollars.

I'll leave the game breakdown to the professionals, as I can only be objective for so long before I start sounding like a poor man's Lou Holtz. Trev should roll into the office sometime today to give a full breakdown of the Trevonics while the office recovers from its Labor Day hangover, literally and metaphorically.