14.12.07

not to intrude

it's amazing how many different types of intimacy exist. there's the intellectual intimacy of sharing ideas, understanding concepts, having the same academic passions. emotional intimacy with our hopes and dreams, our very soul bared to another human being. there is the platonic physical intimacy of friends who can be close and not worried, of hugs and leaning shoulders. then, of course, there is the deeper physical intimacy of the sexual relationship, in which we share with another person something inherently sacred in ourselves, what emotional intimacy is for the mind, except for the body. but there is another type of intimacy often overlooked because it is so often paired with another kind, and that is living with someone. there is a sort of synchronosity of schedules, a pattern and rhythm. one learns how their housemates work, how to react to different situations. there is so much more awareness of a person after living with them. and no other types of intimacy are really inherent of this. of course, we are so used to living with family or friends that we assume that some sort of emotional intimacy is required for this situation, but it is not. so many people also assume sexual intimacy which, true, is a reason many people move in together. but it is not necessary for a living situation. many couples get older and live, sexless, with the same sort of house-grown intimacy they're known for years. they still know each other in a way nobody else can - the way they act at home.

i have found that this semester has been a profound learning experience about differentiation between all of these things. i wanted to find someone to live with that is not just a roommate, and i have. i will finally be living with a friend. and hopefully that odd state of living with someone is something easier to adjust to, now that i also have someone who i can talk to.

maybe love and marriage is just when you hit the jackpot, you know? and you find absolutely everything in someone. or at least you cross your fingers and hope you do.