Shame you don't want to do any of the Army stuff, as there's plenty of it. You could all ways black up and go as one of many native territories ... unless you are black ... in that case why not white up instead. Why not construct a paper mache body and cover it in small toy monkeys and go as the Rock of Gibraltar. Or shave your head and go as Gandhi. Failing that, go as something completely random ... Santa or Darth Vader.

Anyway, you think yours is bad, ours is the letter P. I'm thinking of wearing a maroon sweatshirt and trousers, covering myself in purple and red balloons and wearing a paper mache ass on my head and going as piles.

Look, all you have to do is turn up & then as the evening progresses start fights with everyone around you. Capture their tables, claim them as your own, and then toward the end of the night give them back to other people instead causing a huge row.