Blog about my life in general...being a former foster parent, a transracial adoptive mom, an avid gardener and a wannabe urban homesteader.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Whirlwind

Our very close friends had a whirlwind match yesterday. They went into their first staffing informed, prepared and hoping for the best. They came home with two kids! They will have a weekend visit, take them back on Monday to gather their belongings and bring them home for good on Friday.

If they were chosen we thought it might be a fast transition because it's so close to the new school year...but wow. During their 2 1/2 hour drive home we dashed over to their house and straightened up the kids room and stocked up on kid friendly snacks. Our friends went to bed last night a little overwhelmed and shocked. From zero to mommies in just a few short hours.

Calling all instant families out there.....what can we do to support them through this whirlwind?

Understand if they want the house to be calm and visitor-free, of if they go back and forth between wanting that and wanting company.

Anything you can do to ease the demands of daily life may be helpful. If you live close, call to ask if they need anything at the grocery store when you're going anyway. Offer to bring over dinner, walk the dog, whatever.

For our daughter's daycare teacher who recently became a foster mom to a toddler, the care package we put together included Pull-Ups, ketchup, a toddler toothbrush, some unbreakable dishes, a coloring book and crayons. It was everything we had ever rushed out to buy, or begged someone to bring, on the first night of a placement.

But listening is probably the most important. It's so hard sometimes to find people who don't jump to conclusions about what's happening and how you are feeling.

Our two best godsends were my mother and my friend, Brooks. My mother was there to reassure us from her experienced perspective (sooo much more useful than any parenting book). Brooks is our main babysitter, and has been the steady, positive, non-parental adult in Sweetie's life that the play therapist said she would need. Their relationship helped Sweets (thereby, us) so much. You've been so thoughtful already! Lasagne in the fridge- don't we all wish! Congrats to the new family. -Kate-