PoMoHippy CharisMystic & LOVE ACTIVIST:
“Ministry means the ongoing attempt to put ones own search for God, with all the moments of pain and joy, despair and hope, at the disposal of those who want to join this search but do not know how.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION:Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

One of the most profound things that the Lord said to me....... a few years back now... when i was questioning (as i often do)- but it i was after some debate on The Cross, and why His death - and how He died- looked and was so unbearable in the torturous reality.

He said, "The Cross was just as much of My Glory - and if it wasn't for the forgiveness I extended from it, - the Resurrection couldn't have been possible" - and i realized in that moment, He brought me some how, back in time, to that point........ when He extended His forgiveness --"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." That the reality in that moment, was that act of forgiveness broke every bond - that if He didn't forgive, from that place, He couldn't have been raised from the dead. That He would have been bound, and thereby, we would have been bound- by that same sin......... In that - when we forgive, even when it's unjust, unbearable, unrighteous, unholy, - even in excruciating pain- We hold the keys that once held us captive, but we then release that power over another- to set them free. Resurrection power is not a one time event, even as Paul says, "that we die to ourselves daily"- if that is truth, then the Resurrection is daily too. when we die to ourselves, it allows us to Live deeper in His Resurrection power.

I'm not saying it's easy, for this world is an unjust court- then we have the court in our heads- and all our inner debate on worth, validity, experience and lack. I've stammered at God before, with the statement, "well Your God, and i'm not"- so how can i extend that type of selflessness - and He reminded me that "the mystery of the Gospel" is that He is living (conquered hell, death and the grave)- actually living with and IN us. Even in the most feeble attempt, when i want to pick back up, from the foot of that cross, what i just laid down--- even in the most humanist of endeavoring - He is able to use the weakness of our often fickle hearts- because His grace is sufficient and made perfect.

Thing is - I'm a Judges daughter x's 2- My earthly dad was a Judge and sat on the bench for 46 years - "Workman's Compensation Judge"- which is a bit prophetic enough, but my dad is fond of saying, "I didn't go into Criminal Law, because there was too many criminals in the Law"- He came to know Jesus in a near death experience and learned of Grace in a profound way- taught me it.... and it cost a lot.... Some of it i know the price daily, and though it's been excruciating at times, i wouldn't change it. Often times forgiveness is a daily walk, i can think of so many reasons that justify my holding on to anger- and often times i do..... but then the reality of "what was done - was done"-- the more i hold it, the less i can extend myself to the Unconditional, relentless Love of ABBA....... He didn't hold back. The only thing i want to hold to is the Hem of His garment and His irrevocable promises, that are mine in and By Him.

I mostly wrote this out- to remind myself.............. He said to "call Me to remembrance"- and even in that..... He didn't just remember me, HE knew my unformed substance. It's good to remember- the price, the cost, the Holy Fire that is only kindled by the Living Power of Resurrection.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Well with all the packing and moving (twice in the last 4 months!)- i thought it was time to tidy up my blog a bit and add/delete a few things. So if you take a gander to your Right- and down a bit... I've updated:

(Tribe- Family of Friends)- because some of my dearest are singers/songwriters/musicians.... you will note (no pun intended) the word MUSIC next to their names. Thankfully, some of 'em, have added a MySpace/Music - so now it's pretty easy to hear what is up and what is new. (i've been severely blessed by being able to hear most of 'em since they started jamm'in out- and many who were once in that "bad hair cut" stage of their musical endeavours - which is a Stephen Roach quote, though i don't ever recall him in that light, even when he was banging on his plethora of instruments at wee hours in the morning, (while i was trying to sleep i might add!)- thankfully, i'm a night owl- but at that point i had to be at work pretty early. (since then i've modified my working hours to accommodate my late night rambling and musing) So if i could be a Elbow here... go grab some tunage - and if you like it.... (or love it)- bless them by sending them some MOOLA and buy a new CD!

The other's on that list, are dear ones as well, and keep a on line journal of sorts- well worth the gander. Of course, mostly everyone is on FaceBook these days, my friend Amy Chapman calls that "the worlds biggest Front Porch"- which i would whole-heartedly agree. - however this stuff is a bit more in their Kitchen over a good pot of coffee.

I've also added "NOSHING ON BLOGS" section - Just a fast reference as to who i read. (some more than others)- but it was a way to "get the word out" on some folks that are pondering and laboring in Kingdom Fields. (and i promise to add more links in my posts- thank you Andrew- or at least point over to the right side of the page)

Well the Blog is a work in progress, as is our lives. I'm pondering a collective blog with a few of my "BodyWorker" friends.. from a Medical/ holistic / arts space- it's bounced a round long enough in the back of my head and is causing my fingers to chomp at the bit - However - that is a more personal interest thang and in discussion with some of my fellow "laying on of hands and often elbows" crew- it might prove interesting. There is so much from the New Age aspect of that.... that we have been discussing the Spirit space and Dunimus aspects of Skilled Touch with prayer. More on that later, hopefully.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

What can i say, after reading "Tall Skinny Kiwi" for so long----------------

"A dying breed of Bloggers..... " NEVER! So i was reading his last post and i had to add to the many comments on such an absurd and daft thought.........

The one thing i can say about my friend is that he always brings the MEAT TO THE TABLE!

so here is my "off the cuff" and quick poem quip to Toast to the very Living - Andrew Jones!

I raise my Tall Skinny glass in a toast.... salt peaty humor of Orkney's Coast.... To the finest Single Malt on the Blogosphere BE That Logos to My Ear!!!!! His fingers dance and twitter still send some dosh to bless the skill though ego bellows when it's torn by evils Tempest Cyber-Storm Blessed by lightning dexterity Love of God his pint of heresy Jesus poured out in Word- I Phone You will Never standalone!

Ok, so you didn't get a full page of accolades ---- BUT YOU KNOW YOU'RE LOVED!!!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Well that is the picture of the traffic heading outta the path of Hurricane IKE- so we are not in the direct path of the Eye of the Storm - but we are expecting to get high winds - torrential rains - and hopefully NOT tornado's! Thing is - it's a big storm front - and affects a lot of states- and can some huge effects here in Austin.I had a dream about 2 weeks or so back- where in it i was speaking to my friend William, and found myself saying... IN THE DREAM- "well the Lord says there is a hurricane/storm coming and it's NOT gonna miss"- referring to Texas. When i awoke i kept feeling that it was aimed for Houston - so when this all formed, i wasn't surprised- yet also was wondering the significance of getting dreams. Which is something that has happened to me for years... knowing storms coming .... physical, spiritual, relational and so forth. Anyway, hopefully we'll be able to keep the power on.. and not need the generator - (small one we have thanks to living through Ice storms in NC) - please keep us in prayer. Shalom Ya all!

Just a really good reminder!!!!! Part B- New Default Thinking !!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He wrote a book called "you can't find water on the mountaintop"- really balanced teaching- and timeless - Keep pressing on folks...

I've listened to Wayne Monbleau since 1979 (year i came to know Jesus)- and he's is still doin it! I've been to "The Worship in the Woods" back about 11 years ago... - and then another time i took Stephen Roach!- Wayne is just bottom line, low key- grounded.... and passionate!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

This might be a futile exercise... but have to put it out there.-We've had many a Bedouin - ragamuffins- fellow warriors- artists (fill in the blank there) stay with us for seasons. (some short- some a bit longer) For the most part we just kinda deal with things as they unfold. But God's been nudging me to write a bit on general guidelines in community living and mutual respect of resources. It's hard sometimes, because people have different rhythms of living.So living out this walk of fellowship, healing and visioning can be quite a task.Adding to that, different cultures, personality types and the like can make it daunting some days and glorious others. So i'd really like to make this a group effort in understanding and communication.

so-- here is some of my part- that would help make my part in this passion play of life a little easier when people are staying..... (and MUCHO Thanks for those that have blessed us with awareness and extra hearts and hands- it's sooo appreciated - )

Please don't take this as a personal affront - we're all learning.. and this is some of my learning. Some of it may sound really basic, but age, experience, timing (when issues are up), all play a factor. I've failed miserably in some of this... so - gonna try and practice what i preach. Here goes...... hopefully SOMETHING>>>>>>>>>>

In general.... there is an OPEN DOOR Policy - meaning... we want this to be a safe space for those that need whatever God wants to do... that is the general template.On the basics - Day to Day...... Phil and i both work- (day jobs.. in the general work force) so we are more than willing to spend quality time and share, listen, pray and be Present, when we are outside of that frame.

Some days are more full than others... so if you see me on the couch half asleep or watching something mindless.... it's cuz i need it. Just ASK- if i'm in a place to engage.

If it's a long night of engaging on deep levels... the dishes might be left till morning- but we have a dishwasher.. so please stick it there. A day or two of chaos is norm... but it impedes things too..... so PICK UP as you abide would be helpful. (little things like soap, toilet paper, paper towels, dish detergent and so forth- really helps on keeping things flow'in)

People need the norms... shower, laundry, eating, sleeping (well some of us - i'm a night owl) But i really don't want to be so anal that i have to write a list of chores.... if it's helpful on the awareness aspect... i'll write out some of the basics...................

Kitchen- if you cook it, clean it. If it's a group meal- and someone cooks and spends time loving and serving in that way, love back and help in the clean up.If you have special food you don't want tampered with - LABEL it. If basics are OUT ... like milk, juice, cheese, bread, beer, wine- libations in general- it does cost money, so replenish please. If you see some good grub on sale... pick it up- all would benefit.

Bathroom (Loo)- Ok that one is my personal pet peeve - I usually have some bleach and a swisher... so the main bathroom (we have 2) - but only one has a bath. It is the HOUSE bathroom, meaning- just cuz you're staying here.. it's not a personal thing. I'm not big on scrubbing down the shower every time it is used... but if you using it more than most... please do so... at least weekly. If you take a bath... it's hygienically important to clean it after your done... Tooth paste in the sink, hairs after shaving and all the spots left- are not particularly pleasing to the eye of a visitor and gives a poor impression in general. I did have one encounter- where the person felt lead by God to dye their hair a reddish thing... but then failed to clean up.. and it looked like there was a murder that took place or at least something out of the "Shining"-

It really only takes an extra 5 mins or so to do a general wipe down... including the toilet if you're MALE and tend to MISS- "morning glory" and sleepy haze withstanding... i really do understand that. Also, not every time you use a towel after a shower... it doesn't have to go into the wash... Texas heat and sun does a good job, and honestly, you're just wiping off water from a now clean body... so hang it outside and re-use it for a bit.

We have a sensitive toilet, so if your bringing a novel in there to read while you take a weeks worth of a dump... flush occasionally. I've had more than one mishap in that department- and i won't mention names! LOL!!!

Laundry- OK... it's needed.. and for the rest of us, it's good to not have your personal odor burning as incense in the house. That being said... if you had to go to a laundry mat... it would cost some DOSH! So water and electric has it's costs. Mind you we have an old washer and dryer.. and when i get the funding i'll upgrade, but for now... it's what we have Widows Mite..

THE VACUUM CLEANER- aka Hovering!- ok 99% of all dust and dander is HUMAN SKIN... yes, you read correctly! so the more people the more dust and dander... so we have an awesome vacuum cleaner that can remedy this (granted i know Selah my dog is a long hair.. and i've cleaned enough of her hair on the floor and little carpet we have... to stuff a mattress! ) But even if it's doing the main living areas weekly- it makes a huge difference.

Main living area- it's pretty big.. thankfully, but - general clean up is needed. Dust ( i have the goods to do it)- straighten and make it inviting would be my request.

Where you are crashing... YOUR mess is your mess, so please keep it contained. If your in a creative space... paints, music and so forth.... just keep it in semi-order. We don't want to stunt, limit, or hinder the creative process- just understand that living with others, means we have to step over things. When your in mid streaming... put it in a bin or in the garage... and do as needed.

Sleep stuff........ we are all on different work zones.... understandably so and honoured. So if those are sleeping... please do NOT slam doors, crash and bang pots... or go into loud intercession mode screaming in tongues. (that has happened... and while i'm all for joining in to see Kingdom manifest.... i don't need to enter in it with an attitude!) go pray loudly in the yard.... my neighbors are mostly believers and they will most likely bless it - more than call the police! IF there is deliverance going on and you need back up... come wake me up... i know that stuff has timing that is far reaching than what time it is on the clock.!!!

General bottom line.......... if you opened it ... close it... (that goes for prayer spaces too... run the drill, don't need some demonic thing around and about hammering others that didn't know you crossed into enemy camp!) If you took it out....... put it back...... don't need to emphasis stewardship- least i hope i don't have to give flannel cut outs, diagrams, and directions.

Mostly, we are called to SERVE... and i promise to serve my heart out! But if you see something needs doing... just do it.

I'm all for fun, fellowship, kinship, heart spaces, healing, revelation, break thorough and Kingdom made manifest.... but it takes a bit to keep a tidy ship so all that stuff can happen.

We have a great state wide calling plan..- cable TV and Internet access.... and we cover the cost of those. I've got a good international calling pin thing... that needs topping off when it meets it's limit.- so it's there for the using.

We don't have endless supply of money and things cost.. not trying to hammer that issue... but honestly we are working on that end of things... and could use some help in that.

I'm not your mother, father or parental guardian per say... i hold some of those spaces in the Spirit....and though Derek will say i've got Dolly Parton's Boobs in the spirit, i'm not a personal MILK MAID.. as my dear friend Anna Porter says...

I put this out, cuz i don't want to be frustrated or harbor any bitterness for the pouring out. It's an honor and a privilege to be a part of your lives - as friends and in times of need and covering.

A dear friend asked me... why i use the phrase "under our roof"- for me it's simple, God granted us space to hold a big container for stuff that isn't on the norm of church encounters. What it does mean.... is that those that are staying.... take a servant's heart view and bless back the best they can.

Authority, is an often misused word and comes with all sorts of expectations...but when someone comes "under our roof" it means sharing in the Kingdom stuff that is cool and wondrous but the day to day can feel mundane at best. A room-mate pays rent... a house-mate means understanding what it is to Serve.. as unto HIM.

I'm sure there are tidy bits that need addressing or a good sorting through.. but that is the general "how two's and too's" Many hands make lite work or so i'm told. If you've got more insight it would be helpful to run a tighter ship that has more room for the wind of Holy Spirit to fill the sails.

Thanks for reading and listening ..........

shalom to all parts and much love on this journey into HIS heart!xo cathryn

OK i've been in worship when stuff like happens.... at our wedding there was a violin that is ON the recording.. and you could hear it during the worship! so when i heard this.. i have to post this stuff! I'm a charismystic - soooo enjoy!

This is one of my fav's- He's playing at a Morningstar conference last year... glad it's out there....It's some of what i miss about NC- i have a lot of radical worshiper friends ... and i miss them... so Lord - Let us hear YOU ROAR over our hearts, heads, every nook and cranny let it vibrate with the sound of Your fierce Roar over YOUR beloved!

This is toooooo funny. I love when steve teaches... but this just made me roll. Thank Julia for sending it my way... enjoy ya all. Oh for those of you who don't know steve he's one of the head honcho's at Morning Star Ministries. He's got a really good book on the prophetic too...

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Ok.... so it's been a few months in Austin. Bought a house... moved twice! Things already flowing... our friend John has been staying for a few weeks, and all his stuff is in the garage.. (wow we never had one before.. how handy!) He jaunted over the pond and got married to Caroline on Friday... really cool stuff. Andrew Jones (notorious one)- did the shin dig... and when they land back here in Austin, they will be staying here for a bit while looking for a home. So already- this house seems to be the landing point for a few things. Amy and Derek are in Antwerp mini vacation, and considering the full on flow this summer... a well needed one at that. So that means we're doing some things on the "honey do list"- but it's a joint effort. We are redoing our kitchen ... i'd love to trash it... and make it more functional and ergonomic, but funding is limited - so we are waist high in priming, paint, and a general mess.... but should be more US. Who ever did the paint job before did this reddish pink... more red than pink but high gloss.... so isn't inviting- more like i'd rather have a food fight cuz the colour is irritating! so we are on the painting thang! new colours, new expression.... got a few rooms to paint. but feel it's needed.Jenna Lynn White is still out in Orkney with the Jones's - glad she's there, but coming back soon. so what we really need is some money.. to set some wind in these sails... so could use some prayers on that front... and if you feel like giving a gift.... email me.... PLEASE! Food, lights, water.... the basics need help. I usually don't post that on a blog ... but honestly ... for those of you that read this... it's needed ... and please pass it along.We really deal with people in transition... safe place to land... breath... eat... create.... vision.......... not your norm on sunday morning. We kinda "MIND THE GAP" spaces. That might be the fund that we need to create so people can get a tax right off. But hey it's kingdom stuff... and write off's are great.... but don't think it was done that way before during Roman times.... it was hearts giving cuz they felt the need was worthy. NUFF SAID...........

Ok, so William Jordan will be in... soon and making a home here... YES we are the landing pad - again.!!! And HOPEFULLY- our English friends will get their Visa's ......... and can make it their home. So there is a lot in transition... with all the stuff that comes with it.... the good, bad, ugly and BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!