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Guilt is normal and comes with the territory of being a parent. Here are some “guilt trips” common to most parents and some “guilt busters” to help you cope:
Guilt trip: I don’t spend enough time with my child.
Guilt busters:
• Change what you can. Some things,
like work schedules, may be hard
to change. Make the most of the
time you do have with your child.
Schedule meal times, reading
together and other important family
times first. Other activities (sports,
piano lessons, etc.) can be fit into the
time that’s left.
• Limit use of TV, computers and
video games at home.
• Taking time for yourself (exercising,
going out with a friend, etc.) is
important and helps you be a better
parent.
Guilt trip: I yell too much at my child.
Guilt busters:
• Make sure your expectations for
your child are reasonable and age
appropriate.
• Talk simply, calmly and firmly. Tell
her what you want her to do instead
of what she shouldn’t be doing.
• Make sure the time you spend with
your child is more positive than
negative. If you feel that you yell
most of the time, find activities that
you can do together that you both
enjoy.
• If you feel yourself getting mad or
upset, tell her that you need
to take a break and walk away, take
deep breaths and count until you are
calm. By doing this, you are showing
her how to act when she feels mad or
upset.
Guilt trip: I can’t give my child as much as other children have.
Guilt busters:
• What she needs most is your time. A
child’s well being depends
a great deal on relationships with
important people such as family,
close friends and teachers.
• Save time for family activities and
time with friends to help support
relationships. Time together will be
more important than anything you
could buy.
Guilt trip: I worry about doing the wrong thing.
Guilt buster:
• Children need parents who try
their best but that doesn’t mean
you’ll always be successful and that’s
OK. Good parents come in many
forms and there is no “right” way to
parent.
• Try not to worry about being a
“super parent” or having a “super
family.”
• Much of parenting is trying different
approaches to determine what works
best for you and your child. What
works well for one child may not
work for another child because
children are unique. It also teaches
children that when you try some-
thing that doesn’t work, you look for
another solution.
When you are struggling as a parent, it’s OK to talk to others such as a fam­ily member or close friend. You can also call your county health depart­ment to request to speak to a Child Guidance professional.
Sources: Illinois Early Learning Project 8/07 www.illinoisearlylearning.org “What to Do If You Feel Like a Guilty Parent,” Nancy Samalin
Child Guidance...Where Families Find Solutions

Guilt is normal and comes with the territory of being a parent. Here are some “guilt trips” common to most parents and some “guilt busters” to help you cope:
Guilt trip: I don’t spend enough time with my child.
Guilt busters:
• Change what you can. Some things,
like work schedules, may be hard
to change. Make the most of the
time you do have with your child.
Schedule meal times, reading
together and other important family
times first. Other activities (sports,
piano lessons, etc.) can be fit into the
time that’s left.
• Limit use of TV, computers and
video games at home.
• Taking time for yourself (exercising,
going out with a friend, etc.) is
important and helps you be a better
parent.
Guilt trip: I yell too much at my child.
Guilt busters:
• Make sure your expectations for
your child are reasonable and age
appropriate.
• Talk simply, calmly and firmly. Tell
her what you want her to do instead
of what she shouldn’t be doing.
• Make sure the time you spend with
your child is more positive than
negative. If you feel that you yell
most of the time, find activities that
you can do together that you both
enjoy.
• If you feel yourself getting mad or
upset, tell her that you need
to take a break and walk away, take
deep breaths and count until you are
calm. By doing this, you are showing
her how to act when she feels mad or
upset.
Guilt trip: I can’t give my child as much as other children have.
Guilt busters:
• What she needs most is your time. A
child’s well being depends
a great deal on relationships with
important people such as family,
close friends and teachers.
• Save time for family activities and
time with friends to help support
relationships. Time together will be
more important than anything you
could buy.
Guilt trip: I worry about doing the wrong thing.
Guilt buster:
• Children need parents who try
their best but that doesn’t mean
you’ll always be successful and that’s
OK. Good parents come in many
forms and there is no “right” way to
parent.
• Try not to worry about being a
“super parent” or having a “super
family.”
• Much of parenting is trying different
approaches to determine what works
best for you and your child. What
works well for one child may not
work for another child because
children are unique. It also teaches
children that when you try some-
thing that doesn’t work, you look for
another solution.
When you are struggling as a parent, it’s OK to talk to others such as a fam­ily member or close friend. You can also call your county health depart­ment to request to speak to a Child Guidance professional.
Sources: Illinois Early Learning Project 8/07 www.illinoisearlylearning.org “What to Do If You Feel Like a Guilty Parent,” Nancy Samalin
Child Guidance...Where Families Find Solutions