A memorial monument is planned, to be built in the middle of Lithuania by February, 2019. The design is by sculptor Tadas Gutauskas, in collaboration with an architect, Saulius Pamerneckis. It will be like the Vietnam memorial – a place to commemorate, grieve, and pray.

See the initial website: http://partizanumemorialas.lt/en/ for photos of the target design, and information about the sponsors. The website provides instructions for donation. Soon there will be various options for donation including Paypal.

Tadaswas a painter when he gave me permission to use his art as images in my illustrated novella, Vilnius Diary. Since those days (2006) he’s done a number of public monuments in Vilnius, like The Road to Freedom.

The partisans are men who decided to try to fight the Russians who returned to occupy Lithuania in 1941. They organized, armed themselves, and retreated to the forests to fight back. There is a movie about them: The Invisible Front(1914). See here. And here.

About 20,000 of them died. Many of their remains were not found. One of their leaders said, “We are not afraid to die.” The odds were greatly against them. Their resistance movement was between 1944 and 1953.

One of the emotional triggers for me is an awe for their heroism. Lithuania is a small country (about the size of West Virginia) and it was easily overrun by Germany and the Soviet Union. The Nazis quickly killed nearly 200,000 Jews and other “undesirables,” and then came the Soviets who exiled hundreds of thousands simply because they were educated people and might organize to resist the occupation.

Many people like my parents successfully fled the massacres and deportations. But the partisans stayed, and resisted, to their deaths. They chose to stay and fight.

The website shows photos of individuals and there might be video interviews with several survivors, who are in their nineties now. These are the faces of heroes. I think their circumstances are what make this movement so poignant: the small ad hoc force, overwhelming odds, meager resources, living year-round on the run in the forests (like other guerillas), dying horrible deaths (torture, mutilation), and lost remains.

Lithuania has only been free of Soviet and Russian occupation since 1991. (That’s 27 years ago.) It has taken YEARS to rebuild. It is going to take DECADES to process what happened. (Consider: how America has processed the Civil War, the Cold War, the Vietnamese War, the war in Afghanistan, etc. etc.) The stories ARE JUST COMING OUT.

The stories of the escapees, emigres, and gulag-returnees are JUST COMING OUT. (See my other blog entries.)We need this for therapy, understanding, healing, and appreciation for the sacrifices of others for good. Could you do what a partisan did?

​Lots of things to be upset by, especially as the #MeToo movement reactivates long-suppressed memories and anger.

My teen years were saddled with depression as it dawned on me that “you can be anything” was not true. And that a hostile world – professions and workplaces – would greet your enthusiastic leap into their arms to fulfill your dreams of how and what you wanted to be.

One of my stories: as a college student, in an airport, I met a woman who said she was one of four female surgeons in the country. (1960s) I told her that that was one of my dreams. She said: “It will be very hard to get in, and you will be battered every step of the way. You will have be to very tough.” She explained to me why there were few female surgeons, and doctors overall. For example, there were quotas for women entering medical school at that time. (And they probably did NOT get financial aid equal to men.) I had NO IDEA how someone like me could finance the education. I was too timid to ask anybody in authority (…refugee mentality, lay low). No internet. No kind librarians in my daily world. I knew I was not that tough. I majored in literature. (You’ll be able to teach elementary school!)

Several college mates who went into science and whom I met again 20 years later had QUIT. Harassed out. Disgusted. Discouraged. Wasted years of trying. And they were tough, and assisted by savvy parents.

There are so many books and movies explaining subtle discrimination, and what it’s like to be put down, harassed, and even raped or killed with no compunction. About racism: Ta-Nehisi Coates Between the World and Me. A mind-blowing experience watching the documentary based on James Baldwin’s work, I Am Not Your Negro (directed by Raoul Peck, 2016).

There is a poignant and insightful piece by Christine Emba after the white supremacists landed in Charlottesville. (Washington Post, August 18, 2017) She writes, about painful memories of current racism and marginalization: “No, I can’t just ‘get over it.’” Her last line: “Why is it so hard for you to care?”

After mentally reliving some incidents in my past, I thought, how could I have responded better? In some of my experiences, I froze up, walked away, ran away from insults and aggressions. (No assaults, thank you, God.) There must be guides on what to do? Any tips for the weary?​Yes, there are, it turns out, for example:“How to Respond to a Harasser? 10 Things to Say”

There is MUCH WISDOM out there. It just wasn’t in my mind when I needed it and could have handled it, e.g., entering college. I wish for a boot camp on “the world for women and minorities.” It is possible to be better equipped for the bad stuff, and to learn to roll with some punches, ignore, resist, and succeed in chasing your dreams in spite of it. Bring your sisters along on the wisdom. And, if you have any strength left, act to change it.