Sunday, January 12, 2014

New year resolutions... fuck that shit. Not that I'm against making goals or resolutin' anything, but sometimes I think there's a step missing in the whole new year resolution process. You know? Like how'd those last year's resolutions work out for ya? Did you lose the weight? Did you eat better? Did you get more organized? Cuz I'm pretty sure there's human nature involved and when that happens it's likely we will forget all about those resolutions by the end of February.Am I right? Statistically, only about 8% of those people who make resolutions keep them. Just walk into your local, big-ass-machine-bloated-everyone-and-their-brother's gym in March or April and you'll see tumbleweeds and hear crickets which will be a long cry from the January and February you-gotta-park-the-car-out-in-china-gym because everybody and their BFF needs to get their sweat on.

So glad I don't have to fight those New Year gym crowds anymore. My gym is a whole different monster now. Having a gym where people are committed 100% of the time makes a HUGE difference for me. It's pretty cool seeing everyone grow stronger, get faster, and achieve their goals as a group. It's awe inspiring sometimes. But speaking of goals and resolutions...honestly, reflection seems like a better tool for me. I like to look back and see what I have accomplished because well... lets be honest... I'm not really a new year resolutions kinda girl. I'm more of a freestyle goal setter. In fact, I wouldn't even call it goal setting. I'm sure it drives my coaches crazy, but I prefer to learn from the un-goals that I might have inadvertently achieved throughout the course of a year. Un-goals? Yeah. They're the ones that were never goals in the first place, but maybe a small "hey...maybe I'll try this" that transformed into a serious achievement. Yeah. Kinda like my running, my training and my confidence.My running goal was never to be an ultra runner. Ten miles was a LONG run to me only three years ago. I just wanted to be able to run more than two miles - without pain. That was my goal. Well that turned into something completely different. Who'd a' ever thought I'd run a hundred miler outa that goal? Not me.And my training... I never had a goal to deadlift 235lbs, bench press 85lbs, or box jump just 2 inches shy of the tallest box in the gym. You won't find those goals on my resolutions list. If you know me, then you know that I don't count ANYTHING in the gym. Not even what I'm lifting or jumping. Because what I know might stop me - well that, and the stupid fact that I can't count when I'm working hard. Seriously, though, me and my limits are on a need-to-know basis. The only time I ever need to know how much weight was on the bar is AFTER I've lifted that shit. For me, sometimes setting goals is like setting limits. I prefer not to know what my limits are. What if there are no limits?And a sad but true fact for me is that I have way more confidence at fourty-something than I ever did at twenty-something. Confidence would have NEVER been on my resolutions list, but when I was young I didn't need confidence. I thought I was plenty confident. Ironically maybe that was the reality of my youth - to be overly confident that I was confident. I realized that confidence has only been a recent achievement of mine after watching one of those short Ted Talks for Life Hackers videos. It was a talk that Amy Cuddy did on power poses and body language.Power poses are positions you can put your body in (think the Wonder Woman pose) that literally reconfigures our brains and body chemistry in ways that may make us more assertive, confident, relaxed, risk tolerant, and fearless. Seriously. Standing like Wonder Woman for two minutes can increase your testosterone levels up to 20% and lower the stress hormone cortisol.

Funny thing I noticed is... what's my default favorite standing position lately? It's the high power Wonder Woman pose. And as superficial as this sounds, I owe this new pose and my increased confidence to my training and my diet. I feel better about my body image these days and for me, the Wonder Woman power pose feels like a natural way to just stand around. Little did I know that my default body language clearly reveals my newfound confidence. I had no idea it was changing my body chemistry too.

Hmmmm. Looks like I will be testing the power pose theory right before lifting heavy.But "creating" confidence with power poses aside, I have to wonder if confidence is a genetic gift that I wasn't born with and have had to create myself. Some scientists believe confidence is in our DNA and when I look at my oldest son I will vehemently agree. He's been confident since he was born. So much so he was leaping off of the top of jungle gyms confident he knew how to slide down the pole and jumping into pools because "he KNEW he could swim" long before he had the actual skills to do those things. His confidence is what helped him learn to ride a bike just two weeks after his 3rd birthday and had him taking 1st place in the kid's summer series mountain bike races last year. This kid is fearless and I believe his confidence has everything to do with that.My youngest, however got his mama's genes, but I'm hoping he will learn confidence the way I have and challenge himself through life. I just hope he doesn't have to wait as long as I did.

So I have no clue what kind of goals I will accomplish in 2014. It seems I'm constantly improving, getting faster and stronger (although the last few months have set me back a LOT).

One of my Newest Limited Edition Zaps Threads shirt designs which will be available at Born To Run Ultras 2014.

Right now my brain is on fire with my Zaps Threads business and I will be expanding my ideas beyond shirts (think: The Zaps Threads Lounge Experience) at The Born To Run Ultras this year. I'm having a lot of fun creating some new designs for the upcoming event - old school gaming meets Ultra Running - and coming up with ideas for hosting a chill "zone." Yeah. I know. It sounds a little Burning Man-ish, but should be a LOT of fun to do! I can't wait!

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Who am I?

I'm a barefoot/minimalist ultra runner, an artist and a mom. I gave up on running years ago but have come back into running decades later as a minimal and barefoot runner. I am still working on finding my true potential as the runner I always thought I could be, but couldn't because my body would always stop me. I continue to make new goals for myself and explore the path I left behind years ago.