Daybook for May 25, 2010

Outside my window … and a fifteen-minute drive down the road, my little girl is with her sitter, probably laughing or squealing with delight, or maybe “making raspberries,” or perhaps saying “ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.” Whatever she’s doing, I wish I were there. I miss her.

I am thinking … that I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m holding Baby Anne.

I am thankful … for the gift of little Anne.

I am wearing … clothes that are just a little tighter than I’d like them to be. I’m 10 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant, and I have much less muscle tone than I did then. Last night I started training for a 5K—and, I hope, started the road to losing the baby weight and getting back to my fit, running self.

I am creating … a one- or two-day writing course to be taught at our company this summer.

I am reading … the book of Lamentations. I’m “taking” an online course (really just listening to the lectures) via podcast on biblical poetry, and Lamentations is the first book covered in the course.

I am hoping … that Anne will sleep through the night tonight. She’s been really good about it for weeks, but woke up at 3:30 a.m. last night and the night before. So I’m tired and need a good night’s sleep tonight.

I am hearing … the door to our office open and close.

I am remembering … laundry-list-type things. Pick up the cake plate from the church at noon. Call the landscaper about the Maggie Valley house. Pick up more diapers after work. Stuff life that.

I am going … to go visit Anne at lunchtime, which I do every day. I practically run to my car when it’s time to go see her. I don’t want to waste even a single minute.

Noticing that … I feel better after having run 3 miles on Saturday and 2 miles last night.

Pondering … the fact that I was never lonely when I was single. I was a little bit more lonely after I got married. And with motherhood, I have experienced profound loneliness at times. I love being Hubster’s wife and Anne’s mom, but I’m a little disturbed at how this whole loneliness thing is manifesting itself. It’s weird because I was never all that prone to loneliness before. I always preferred to be alone. I guess that means, if I were to get more alone time, I would probably feel less lonely.

From the kitchen ... We had open-faced roast-beef sandwiches last night after the roast cooked in the slow cooker for ten hours. I’m not a big fan of beef, but you wouldn’t have known it, the way I slurped up my dinner. It was mmmm mmmm good.

One of my favorite things … when Anne laughs. She just started laughing a few days ago. It makes my heart sing to hear her laugh.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing: This is a picture of Hubster, Anne, and me after the Ruby Run 5K race (a first 5K race for both Hubster and Anne). I ran while they did a combo of walking and running. Everyone got medals for completing the race. Even Anne got a medal.

When I saw this picture, I thought, “Oh, my. My face sure is looking round. Time to quick nibbling on chocolate all day and start being serious about running again.”