Monday, June 1, 2015

Our New Life or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

On March 22nd, Brian and I got the surprise of our lives when I took a pregnancy test.

(hint, hint - it was positive.)

Long story short, I had gone several weeks without realizing I was pregnant, so one of my first thoughts was "Damn those three margaritas last night that tasted so heavenly delicious."

Oh, and that 18-month, non-refundable gym membership I had just signed up for because I was determined to get into the BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE?!

When a positive pregnancy test is the last thing you'd ever expect, it's hard to articulate the level of shock that comes with it. Even now - two months later - the whole thing feels very surreal.

At every doctor's appointment, I'm waiting for them to be like "We're just kidding! You're totally not pregnant!" And then maybe a reality TV crew will bust down the door and be like "SURPRISE!!!!!" and I'll just be sitting there like "Wtf, I knew it. My life is the Truman Show."

So, yeah.
That's how I would basically describe where I'm at right now.

If this pregnancy is in fact real - and alas, I'm pretty sure it is - I'd say I feel 99.9% like my normal, non-pregnant self.

The first trimester was a breeze.

While I'm excited for our new adventure, I'll let you in on a little secret - I'm not a baby person. I don't like babies. And neither does Brian. So you can see we're in a bit of a crisis here.

When it comes to taking care of a baby, Brian's all like "you got this, right?"

And I'm like....

I'm clueless when it comes to babies.

For now, I'm choosing to remain ignorant when it comes to...pretty much everything. I haven't read any books. I haven't done any research. My approach is called "Learn As You Go and Adjust As Needed."

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

On the day I found out I was pregnant, I took a long walk around the lake trying to process all of my emotions. I remember wanting to pray and ask God for a million things, but all I could manage to say was "Thank you, Lord."