3.12.2013

Do Magicians Have to Wipe Their Asses?

One of the biggest questions you have to ask yourself in life is "Do the world's best magicians wipe their asses?" This mystery has continued to baffle scientists and had people wondering for centuries. Magicians are highly skilled in making things vanish and are masters of illusion so surely they wouldn't need to wipe their asses. They may not even need to FLUSH. If you can make the Statue of Liberty disappear, how much more difficult could it be to make a turd vanish from a toilet? It might even be possible for them to make the crap disappear straight out of their intestines! Maybe they can ta-da the poop into a bouquet of fresh flowers right as it's coming out.

The only problem with the Magic Non-Ass-Wiping theory is that, like a magic show, they key is what you don't see. Since no one has ever seen a magician take a dump there's really no proof either way. One could guess it's even possible that they don't wipe their asses and can make the illusion that their underpants aren't covered in shitstains. When you're dealing with the dark arts anything is possible. I suppose until any evidence to the contrary is found, it should be assumed that the most skilled magicians do not wipe their asses.