Paranoid Terror from Above

New York, NY- Visitors of Central Park were caught up in a nightmare Sunday as F-16 Fighting Falcons were deployed and shot down a plane flying in restricted airspace. The pilot of the rogue plane, 8 year old James Foldrieg, was guiding his wooden, rubber-band propelled glider to what local authorities assume was The Metropolitan Museum of Art, his target.

Capt. Reginald Watson was radioed about the renegade plane during his flight from the McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey, and promptly sighted and shot it down using AIM-120 missiles. “The little wooden glider took evasive maneuvers, which enabled it to dodge my first AAM. I re-engaged the glider, and my second shot was dead on. I’m just glad there weren’t more casualties then necessary,” Capt. Watson explained.

President Bush praised the fighter pilot for his courage, and warned other potential terrorists, “The people of America will not coddle terrorists, those who wish to bring about terror, no matter how old or young. Mr. James Foldrieg will be held indefinitely. Hopefully, through interrogation and time-outs, we will uncover the terrorist cells this boy has developed from.”

The casualties were extensive. The first missile struck the entrance of the Central Park Zoo, killing twenty people, thirteen monkeys, two giraffes, and an unknown number of exotic birds. Ten people were injured by the wreckage of the planes, as their hands and arms were pierced by splinters when they shielded themselves from the explosion above.

Mr. Foldrieg, the suspiciously young pilot, survived the attack from atop the playground’s lookout tower just above the curvy scoop slide, and was taken into custody. He will be held with no contact from the outside world, including TV and video games. The ice cream cone he was holding was taken from him to be tested for traces of anthrax and other biological weapons, as an anonymous source had said Mr. Foldrieg was seen sharing the ice cream with another child. Mr. and Mrs. Carl Foldrieg, the young sociopath’s parents, had no comment.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.