The Jonas Brothers, in case you haven’t already heard because you’ve been living under a rock, are three Disney-endorsed cretins: a boy band consisting of related-though-unrelated-looking kids that sell themselves as “rock musicians” when in actuality they play terrible pop music. They are supposedly 20, 18 and 16 or some such age, but they all look like fourteen, fifteen year olds and dress in trendy, emo/indie/popculture clothing that makes them look even younger and more immature.

Along with their evil counterpart High School Musical, Jonas Brothers are attempting to take over the world in a flurry of pop culture, fueled by the Disney Channel Machine that pumps out child star after child star (examples being Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana, AKA Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus; not that their real names matter). They have already starred in their own (godawful) movie, Camp Rock, in which they are not actually the main characters. The story revolves around a girl whose mother works maintenance for a “music camp” called Camp Rock, where kids learn to “make music”. Because of her mother’s job, she gets to attend at the camp. Then the rest of the girls at camp dicover that she’s, quote “not rich,” and they reject her.

This is of no better quality than the aforementioned High School Musical. Possibly worse, if you can even fathom something that bad.

The Jonas Brothers must be destroyed. In fact, all of Disney Channel is a plague, sent by the very depths of Hell to commercially flood our televisions and homes and brainwash children into buying crappy music and cheap merchandise that has no value and can give no emotional or physical satisfaction. We must save the children. This is a war against the very nature of Evil.

Disney Channel has struck us for the very last time. We must strike back, and with force. Whether you be Anon or no, we need you in the ranks. The Jonas Brothers must die.