Life lessons learnt and shared with my niece, Lottie Mia

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#60 Mention the Elephant in the Room.

The chances are that if you’re feeling a certain way about something, at least one other person in the room is too.

It takes courage to speak up sometimes, but I have learnt that it’s always best to say the thing that’s bothering you or doesn’t feel quite right; more often than not you’ll find you’re met by a rush of people saying they feel the same way, but didn’t want to say anything because they thought they were the only one. That’s a perfect example of our herd mentality taking hold, not wanting to separate or differ from the pack; it takes great bravery to do this. I’ve learned that in the long run, people respect you more if you speak your mind, because they always know where they stand with you, and that when you voice your opinions or concerns you deliver them with integrity and for the greater good of the situation.

Also, it doesn’t help to bottle things up and ignore them. If it feels like something’s a bit clunky in one of your relationships, better to bring it up than brush it under the carpet. I guarantee that ninety-nine times out of a hundred you’ll probably both be feeling the same way. Talking about it clears the air. Sometimes I’ve shied away from this, because I’m wary that it may result in conflict, but what I’m learning is that it’s almost impossible for a relationship (whether it’s with friends, family or a partner) to progress if there’s an underlying problem. It may only be a tiny niggle, but I do think it’s worth saying it before it multiplies.

All baby elephants will one day grow in to mighty beasts, mention your elephants before they have the chance to.

My friend Rez and I in South Africa, with a whole load of elephants in the room.