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It is not about a single person, it is about all the people on any given day blended together.....Goldie!

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Saturday, November 21, 2015

Letter from Grandma

I’m not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my
Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with
me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05.

Two. Arrive late and you get what’s left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those
contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only
peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter
I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don’t arrive at someone’s
house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I
thought you might have learned after two wives – date them longer and save us
all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have
decided that 47% of you don’t know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates
and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I’ll be gone soon and
that will be your

problem to deal with.

House Rules: 1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas
A&M.The television stays off during the meal.

2. The “no cans for kids” rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles
because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two.
Parents can fill a child’s cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on
them and I’ll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy’s house and I looked the other way
when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front
door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself
some time, honey.

You’ve never been a good cook and you shouldn’t bring something that
wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of
life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat
whatever they like as long as they finish it

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That’s nothing new. Your being a
vegetarian doesn’t change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad
without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacongrease in it.
That’s why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far
as being healthy… look at me. I’ve outlived almost everyone I
know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure
you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at
me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I
have nice things and I don’t put them away just because company is coming over.
Mary, watch your kids and I’ll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has
lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of
letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can
you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:You don’t need to
bring anything means you don’t need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to
bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn’t have to
be difficult.

12. Dominoes and cards are better than anything that requiresa
battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it’s true now
that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not
showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed. The election is over
so I’ll watch what I say about the bastard, and you will do the same. If we all
stick to that, we’ll have a good time. If not, I’ll still have a good time but
it will be at your expense.

In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer.
Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to
be the designated driver.

Loved the blog Dianne! We don't have little ones on Thanksgiving anymore. The adults are bad enough lol! Not really, just irks me when they eat and run! I have never had anyone help clean the kitchen. The excuse I usually hear is " I know you like to do things your way". Really?? Now that I am "ahem" older, I hope things will be different this year!

Man we really got dumped on today! I think Zoie is the only one liking the snow!She gets off pissing in it lol! She runs in circles and looks so funny!!

JL, breast meat is my favorite too. If there is too much dark meat left, I just call a lady I know who loves dark me. She comes over for any leftovers.She lives alone and looks forward to it every year.

HOdi I don't even like to drive in heavy rain. Icy streets would scare me.

I didn't wake up today until nearly 11:00. I slept for a good 9 to 9 1/2 hours. I guess I needed it. Feeling pretty good today. I haven't had a temp for a week now and my sinuses have slowed down their production of "stuff". I think I'll be okay to get my flu shot this week. I wish I would have done it in October.

Mary Maybe you should start using paper plates and paper cups. It's not right that you do all the work and host the dinner and then have to do all the clean-up, too. I'd be giving the evil eye to Jim and your son about that, too. You should put them on alert that they need to be much better helpers or you will not be cooking the dinner next year.

Just home from Tammys pre-Thanksgiving dinner. It was so yummy. Just us and the kids and her boyfriend did most of the cooking. The turkey was sooo moist. I went to Village Inn and picked up a pumpkin pie. We even brought home some turkey. That dinner hit the spot after watching the Broncos beat the Bears with our back up quarterback.

Louis finished decorating and I wrapped some more during the game. I'm pretty caught up until Amazon starts delivering again this week. Lol

Mary, I got some really nice plastic plates and nice sturdy silverware at SAMs. My friend picked it up for me. It looks just like real dishes only you toss them. It was $23 for the whole thing for serving of 14. I bought a set to be used at my brothers Thursday and a set for when my kids come over for gift giving dinner (as my sweet DIL calls it).

Jodi, I hope you win on Thanksgiving too. You know I'll be wearing my tassels. I hope they don't dunk into the gravy!!

I love naps some.....well a lot of days.

JL, glad u r feeling better. I like those long deep sleeps and yes, you must have needed it. I hope I can get to addressing my Christmas cards the next week or two. That's always a huge relief to have those done.

Dianne I'm jealous that you already got to have a turkey dinner. I'm looking forward to it. I don't know why I don't think to make a turkey dinner at any other time of year. I guess having it just once a year makes it all the more special, though.

Mary, let me know if you find them. I think they really look nice. Bad news Mary and Jodi....big snow coming and freezing temps. It starts here Wednesday night and goes off and on thru Friday. Not looking forward to it at all. It's going to be in the teens ...brrr

Got rid of my gray today and then told my hairdresser goodbye. She totally understood why I don't want to drive so far and gave me someone's name over here. It was sad hugging her good bye after 30 years. We've been through a lot together. Now to try someone new...scary!! Wonder what color my hair will be on Christmas?

My uncle took us out for both of our birthdays to Olve Garden. They even gave us free dessert with a candle. Yum. I went for my diabetic checkup today with a clean bill of health. Yippee. I gave dr some drug names that need to change to generic with Medicare starting for me. I'm going to get a book ...Medicare For Dummies.

Well, that's it today. I get my wires taken out tomorrow and boy am i looking forward to that and a shower.

Dianne Having your wires taken out makes it sound like you are a robot. LOL

Friday I got my hair dyed but decided not to have it cut. We shall see how long I can take it before my hair is driving me nuts. I like the length right now. Maybe you could have your hair done red AND green for Christmas. :)

JL, I haven't "hoped" in years lol! I had Zoie out this morning in her enclosed area. Just as she was about to do her thing, a gun shot rang out! She made a bee line for the house. I had to leash her to get her out again.I will be so glad when deer hunting season is over!

Dianne, I found some plates with deer decorations on them. I didn't get them because I would have to buy waaaay to many! I will look in other stores tomorrow.I am not looking forward to the arctic weather you will be blowing my way!! It is supposed to be in the 50s on Thanksgiving day :)

Mary, my dishes don't have deer on them. They are decorated like China. How many are you having over? It's going to be 30's here on thanksgiving and 20's next day. Sunday night football game will be cold. Peyton is out for next two games at least.

Hey.where are you Mary, Barb, JL, Jodi? I know you're not all cooking today so come out and play!!!

It's rating freezing drizzle right now, snow by morning. High maybe 19 brrr...might even have to wear a coat...not my favorite thing to do.

I had an early dinner tonight with a friend I hadn't seen for 20 years. She lives in TexasBoy, did we have a lot of catching up to do for 2-3/4.hours. I really knew her parents more than I did her. Her mom has passed away and her dad is in a nursing home. Sad. It was a lot of fun to see her.

Louis picked up my pies for tomorrow's dinner. I'm all set. I'll set my alarm early to watch the parade. Im even listened to Christmas music in the car today.

Hi Dianne. How nice that you got to catch up with your friend. I am going to Dean's tomorrow. Dean doesn't like his wife's stuffing so I am again making my sausage stuffing. It really isn't as good when it isn't made in the turkey, but it's still better than my DIL's. Her's is very bland. It's all in what you grew up eating, plus traditions are hard to break. Todd wife Vicki makes my and her Mom's stuffing too.

Have a great day tomorrow, everyone. I am having in-laws again this weekend so I may be MIA again. I am so lucky that I am in the middle of wherever they travel to-from so I am a convenient motel stop for overnight - cheap, too. They were here last weekend for the 'going to' part of the trip and this weekend is the 'going back home' part.

I like stuffing with sausage too. I us d to make it that way. We will be having my sister in laws and it's all cornbread...Not my favorite. I love that part the best of the whole dinner. My pies from a Village Inn look pretty good too.

I think JL said she'd be home and was making a turkey breast for herself and for left overs too. Jodi is going to in les and working and bringing green bean casserole. I think I have them all straight. I can't believe I remember!

Green bean casserole update. My MIL called on Tuesday and said she would make it since I'm working today. So I'm bringing a couple of things to snack on. I found a lovely Pumpkin/Pecan Butter at the Mustard Museum a couple of weeks ago. It is great with graham cracker cinnamon pretzels! I also found a really good cranberry mustard to dip with pretzels. I buy the Butter Spindles made by Old Dutch. Yummy!!!

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