Fighting Schools of The East

Go east, young man, and kick some ass.

It never fails: When a hero wants to disappear, he goes
west to the frontier. But when he loses his way, he goes east. East is
where the swords are. And the Zen. And the magical gurus who do weird
things to you for your own good.

The new Wolverine movie didn’t screen by WW press
deadlines, but apparently—like every other violent Westerner—Wolverine
totally goes to Asia to find himself and then kick some ass.

In preparation for
this momentarily completely unreviewable movie (look for a review at
wweek.com later this week), we decided to bone up on the great cinematic
fighting schools of the East.

Most ridiculous tasks: Serving tea blindfolded while fending off karate chops. Getting stretched out by ropes to show off awesome flexibility.

Ultimate purpose: To prove he is worthy of Japanese wisdom, despite being a ridiculous Belgian man with frosted hair.Wisdom received: It is always a good time to do the splits.
Sweatpants hotel time, rooftop yoga time, getting hit with bamboo time,
nut-punching time, any time!

Batman Begins (2005)

IMAGE: Legendary Pictures

Location: In the film, Bhutan. In reality, Svínafellsjökull Glacier in Iceland.

Most ridiculous tasks: Apparently the sum total of
Hauer’s Vietnamese ninja training consists of blindly slicing fruit in
midair while villagers throw fruit at his face. He would have been
better off learning sonar from friendly dolphins.

Ultimate purpose: To become a blind samurai, return to America and protect a war buddy’s son from the Mafia.