How many times have we wished we were other people, living in another city/ country; working our dream jobs, doing different things and being happy?

How many times have we wished a moment, opportunity or event away?

I’m not one for star signs but I’ve read a couple. Being a piscean, the stars deem us as day dreamers. We apparently live in fantasy worlds…

I can’t say that they’re entirely wrong, because I always envision myself at the end of a goal I’d wanna achieve. I think of things that have never happened that I’d like to happen and envision the beautiful and in most cases, cliched endings.

There’s nothing wrong with this provided that it doesn’t consume you and wastes times.

I’ve learnt along the way that there is no perfect life or job. You can’t choose your family and the people you work with will always be. Ive learnt that the grass is only greener on the other side because it is well maintained and not coz the weather is better or there’s something different in the water.

I’ve also learnt that there is no place like home and you literally have the choice to make the best of what you have, when you have it, wherever you have it and with whom you have it.

I came across this quote and boy did it remind me of a lot and put so much into perspective.

It says

” Bloom wherever you’re planted”

Be you wherever life takes you. Bloom and shine like the star that you are. Far too often we feel like we need to conform. Like we’re inadequate. We feel like we’re not good enough and then mimic ridiculous behavior.

It’s okay to dream, it’s okay to envision but not at the expense of you dulling your own sparkle.

It needs to stop. Now.

Be authentic, be-YOU-titul and bloom wherever you’re planted; in school, at that call centre you working at, in retail, at court, on a field, in the board room, heck just bloom.

I cannot stress the importance of learning to love yourself so that you know your capabilities, and then become comfortable enough with them.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted …3 whole days to be precise! What a trying week! 😭

A friend of mine shared this quote with me; such a simple, yet such a profound quote and I had to share it with you all.

It goes:

You are always one decision away from a totally different life

~ unknown

Just one decision.

You just need to want whatever it is bad enough. Tired of the silent treatment? Ditch pride and say sorry. Want to go on holiday, ditch procrastination and save at that moment. Want to lose weigh? Ditch that chocolate and start eating right and excersing.

I think we get so overwhelmed in certain aspects of our lives that we forget we have choices, we come up with tons of excuses as to why we can’t do the certain things that we want but it’s just that, excuses. It’s fear subconsciously stepping in giving us all of the reasons why we shouldn’t because we’re scared of the unknown.

I’m a firm believer of, if you really want something, you can go out and get it! We sometimes always look for the quick fix, but nothing that’s worth is ever easy!

Be that flower that gives it’s fragrance to even the hand that crushes it

~ Islamic proverb

We’ve all been hurt or betrayed at some point in our lives and in many cases, it’s often by those we love the most. I chose this quote because it brings through the essence of forgiveness so beautifully.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a choice we make everyday, choosing peace and making a conscious effort to let go of painful burdens and anger.

It’s a choice we make to clear our hearts of all things ill to make place for all things good; love and light.

We often read or hear folk say that forgiveness is more for us than it is for the person or people we’re forgiving and I call truth!

Here’s why:

Choosing to forgive someone is not an act of weakness, if anything, it is courage and strength personified!

We don’t forgive a person because they necessarily deserve it but rather because we deserve the peace. Let that sink in for a second.

… We know how hurtful situations can literally drain a person; mentally , physically and emotionally! But in saying that, they often force us to realize just how strong we are and I reckon peace is something we definitely deserve after such ordeals.

We should never forget that even when we’re crushed, we still have purpose, like the crushed flower that can still provide fragrance; something pleasant, something refreshing, something…delightful!
When somebody does something hurtful or bad to us, it’s a reflection of them and not of us. It’s essential for us to understand and remember this.

So I say, Be that flower, bloom beautifully, be crushed and let the world smell your scent. Then, make your come back and grow again.

Life is a journey, filled with ups and downs…let’s embrace it all and let’s choose to forgive along the way. Life is way too short to be festering feelings of anger, hurt, pain and suffering.

This letter is really just vent how hard you make this for somebody who is really trying to just live as a human being.

Have you ever stepped out of your little world to see how things are from other people’s perspective? Or are you becoming like history’s oppressors and is only concerned about things that benefit you or your people.

Everything you read, see or hear about these days is race-related. Specifically about black and white and all else in between doesn’t matter quite frankly.

In 2017 this is still a thing. God, we need you!

History says that this land we are in belonged to the koi San-the bushman, not the African. But I mean that counts for jack right? We can surely be selective in what we believe to sell our reasons, battle or struggle and make it that more dramatic.

Since we playing this race card, let’s be real for a second.
You see White and African people forget that us coloured and Indians were oppressed and also fought for all things fair. But then we get slapped in the face with the whole ” majority/minority” card. Lol. Yeah it means nothing. We not fighting for equality for all, or that all people should be given a fair shot at things considering all people fought back then,

No!

We’re fighting for our own people. Which is actually pathetic in my opinion. Your people. My people. Their people. Wrong! We are Gods people.

All you ever hear in this race battle is black people this, white people that. back and forth. Selective quotes from history or selective people who fought the struggle are praised and celebrated. The others just don’t matter.

Why are we doing this? I’m finding it so hard to get answers to these questions. Why aren’t we being real if we really say we fighting for equality?

Maybe, just maybe if we decide to be real and fair for once; practice the things we really ask for to be for everybody and not just our own people, then maybe things will come right ? Am I silly for thinking this?

Can we not see that by being racist and pulling out the card that we ourselves are becoming the very thing or people that we despise?

When is this going to be a fight for humanity and not race? When are the fields going to be leveled out?

When are white people, black people, coloured people, Indian people going to jump off their high horses and see that each person walks their own struggle in the journey that God has put before them? Am I silly for thinking that this is how adults should be thinking?

Racism was created to divide. I firmly believe that. But How do we expect to move forward and rid this toxic plague that has been around for decades when all we do is want to stay in this mindset? For intelligent people , a concept as simple as this can’t be grasped? Impossible! I say it’s because we choose not be rid of this mindset.

Our future generations have a shot at being set free of this toxic thing. But we won’t allow it will we? We will destroy it for them too; making us just as bad, if not worse than the oppressors.

As a 20 something year old female who is taking a shot at this thing called life and is trying to do the right thing always. Like loving and caring for people and humanity irrespective of race, color or creed, it really is a spirit damper when all you ever reminded of is this black and white war. And how you just not good enough to be fought for. Just because you are not white or black enough. Isn’t it sad? I think it is.

You then attempt getting closer to God because that is a constant reminder that we are all equal but then you get folk who manipulate that too and twist the morals and values we’re taught to make it okay to hate…

“in order to forgive, the person who wronged you must first acknowledge what they did”

what BS? Where have you heard of such. It’s ludacris! But this is what I’ve heard people, grown adults, tell their kids! Good Gawsh we nowhere near the end are we?

Forgiveness is for yourself not for the next person. That’s what i was taught and what I firmly believe because I’ve practiced it. He who does wrong will be questioned and judged but by God. It isn’t our jobs to do so. Why are we so concerned with pointing fingers? Can someone explain this to me? The fact that I’m writing this open letter makes me guilty of this too, but really, I am just trying to get answers to open my perspective because maybe I’m missing something.

I may never understand the struggle of our people because I wasn’t personally around during the regime, but neither were any of the people my age. So yes , it is okay to be sympathetic and to empathize but surely we cannot let that consume us? Why is our generation filled with hatred for other races? Why is our generation used as puppets ? I can tell you why, because it was instilled and taught to us. That’s why.

Can we not see that by being racist we are feeding into the plan of the oppressors? That this is what they want, to devide us so that they can control us? When we learn that God is in control and put our faith and trust in him alone, perhaps then things will come right I suppose.

I’m once again left confused in this constant battle of black and white wars. I almost feel that if you belong to any race in between, you will never matter to the masses. You will be invisible. Yet we want to hate our oppressors. Talk about double standards.

Freeing ourselves from this mental oppression starts with you and I; making a conscious decision to see people as people irrespective of their colour or race. It isn’t going to be easy but it isn’t impossible. We have the future in our hands. We are birthing the next generation. For their sake, please can we not teach and instill racism within them and become oppressors by doing so? Because then this vicious cycle will just continue.

Is this possible?

I really hope it is because I surely don’t want my kids feeling the way I am feeling and having them take to pen and paper or fingers to keyboard to try and express themselves just because they don’t want this venom to remain and brew within them.

I’m probably going to be judged for this but to be quite frank, I couldn’t be bothered. It’s things that need to be said and questions that need to be answered.

Many women, people in fact, go through some sought of heart break. The kind that leaves you, at the time, with no other choice but to be guarded. Guardered where you love from a distance, where you put yourself out there but only show people what you want people to see. The smile, fiesty attitude. The bling, money, cars or IDGAF attitude. It leaves you guarded where, when folk get too close, you act out and do things to push em away…because of the fear of getting hurt or feeling that heart ache again.

I’ve recently made a decision to no longer let that very fear, strip me of the things that could possibly make me the happiest. I’ve made a decision to not let that fear control my life by controlling my decisions.

The people or persons who have caused us that heart ache are out there living their lives, moving on, and we’re always the ones left putting the pieces of the puzzle together, alone. But that’s not such a bad thing. Because we’re victors not victims. We are built for come backs. (Can I get an Amen)

You see, pain is inevitable and demands to be felt. But even pain, makes for the best teacher. One learns that the quickest way out of pain, is through it. So take ya time and work through it.

Question: Does the person who caused you any pain deserve to still control your life long after they’re gone?

Well that’s the answer I’m looking for because they shouldn’t have that privellage. . . They shouldn’t have the privellage of guaranteeing or smirking at the fact that you won’t let anybody too close because of the fear of getting hurt again. They shouldn’t have the privellage of thinking that they’re irreplaceable and that they would never have to deal with you actually moving on and being happy and inturn them losing you. If anything, they should be feeling all of the above more!

By living in the fear of being hurt again, you pretty much allowing them to keep that power. You allow them to have that control of not pursuing the things that make YOU happy.

Let this be the day that you start controlling what impact pain has on your life and not give pain the power to control what impact it has on you.

Let this be the day that you go back to being the best version of yourself, the uneffed version, the version that wants to be loved and wants to love freely. The version that never compromised on anything that you did.

Let this be the day that you face that fear and you tell that fear that it will no longer rule your life , that you’re boss and you’re in control.

Know, that this will not guarentee that you won’t get hurt again, so let that not be the expectation but, choosing happiness and a fearless life may actually be the one shot you’ve been waiting for. What more do you have to lose? They’ve already stripped you of everything before.

I never thought I’d be in this space, where I’d wear my heart on my sleeve again. Where I’d write poetry expressing my gratitude or actually introducing him to the people closest to me. But here I am, with no guarantee that the love I’ve recently found is going to last but I’m here, loving sincerely like I would before, writing that poetry and enjoying the happiness, the gratitude, the countless attempts of him showing me how special I am to him. I’m here ready to fight like I never had, to rewire all the eish in my head and heart. I’m here ready to give this love a fair chance, to compromise, communicate, and just to love with no condition.

I’m present and opening up myself to the blessings the almighty has put before me. I’m here opening up my heart and my soul to the happiness and respect and love and joy and the peace that my soul deserves and if it’s doesn’t work out? I can Atleast say “hey, I gave the best of me and this too shall pass once the lesson that’s meant to be taught is learnt”

My name is Tasneem, I’ve lived through abuse, the loss of loved ones through natural causes and murder. I’ve been cheated on and divorced and I’ve lost a child all by the tender age of 23 but that doesn’t define me.

What defines me is that I am also flaw filled, a reciprocater of love and light. I have enough of the right kind of love to go around the world and back and I am not ashamed of it. I am loyal, I have goals, I love God. What defines me is the person I’ve become because of the hurt and the pain and the fear that I once felt.

This post is not meant to ruffle any feathers or offend anybody. I know it might but frankly I don’t care…

I’ve been seeing alot of hate speech and judgement’s being passed on social media as the country is preparing for local government elections scheduled to take place on 3 August 2016.

I figured I’ll just add my 2cent’s piece coz im just in awe of some of the updates I’ve read.

So, I’ve noticed a lot of people calling out others because of the CHOICE they are making regarding who THEY are planning to vote for.

Mainly, ANC folk are quick to judge and call out people who openly say that they are voting for the DA or EFF or whoever.

Apparently, most of the ANC supporters will never vote for the DA because they are “white” ( this is what I often hear people say) and well EFF is just…. EFF!

It really is quite ironic because us people of colour are mostly and mainly always quick to pull the race card ( from personal experience) but we are still chained down and enslaved by our racist mindsets.

Dude! Like firstly, you can’t go around insulting people because of a choice they want to make! Guide them, help them and try to healthly change their minds if voting for another party is that detrimental.

If you cant do that and stick to judging, speaking-down upon and insulting other’s then maybe you should go to church,the temple or mosque and ask God to forgive you for being so judgemental.

Secondly, can you blame anybody for really being gat vol of the ANC????

I mean open your eyes and look around! What have they done in terms of service delivery in the last 20 something years? Or even more so and more importantly, to teach and impart knowledge and good ethics to our youth? We are moving backward as a nation.

My family and I would always vote ANC up until recently. Nobody can take away the fact that they have played us all a major roll in the Apartheid Era and for that I am eternally grateful but ultimately God decides all.

One of Nelson Mandela’s quotes really resonated with me and that’s why I decided that I will not vote ANC any more. I have loads of family and friends who still do and I respect their choice even though I may not agree with it.

I sit back and look at these folk who want to judge and I just think to myself “who gives them the right!” I get so angry because it’s that very quality and state of mind that is causing us as a nation to fail.

We are quick to judge and run our mouths but won’t do anything constructive to support our sentiments.

Well here’s my sentiment…

You want to vote for ANC? By all means go for it. Personally, I won’t be voting for neither them nor the DA but I’m not exactly going to insult those close to me or around me because of their choice. #StayInYourOwnLane #UseYourVoteHowYouWantTo#IgnoranceIsBliss#Don’tJudge #Don’t hate#MindYourOwn#EachToHisOwn

Life is such that we will never always agree on everything and God teaches us that we should respect each other irrespective of our beliefs. Bullying and insulting people in general is just a no-no and more so when you are doing the above because you simply do not agree with their voting choice.