Movie Reviews

With the summer movie season coming to a close, I decided I would take a look at some of this year’s offerings that were inspired by TV shows. But it got me thinking about other TV shows that have been adapted for the big screen and how so many of them suck. Here is a list of the worst.

When I see a movie titled “Devil”, you’ve already got my attention. But when I find out the story is written by M. Night Shyamalan, I am wary, as I, or anyone, should be. As you know, we give M. Night a lot of shit around here. And I’ll be honest, after Signs, I had my doubts. And hey, I even liked Unbreakable, where many others did not. And it it weren’t for the glaring plot hole in Signs, I might have stayed on board with that one.

It’s hard to imagine someone being able to make a movie that features only one character onscreen for the whole 90 plus minutes and actually being able to make it work, let alone just watchable. Oh, sure, I could watch Natalie Portman do her nails for 90 minutes, or Megan Fox sunbathe. Hell, I even love the movie Babe. 90 minutes of a talkin’ pig? I’m in. But a movie about a guy buried alive in a coffin? Really?

What is there to really say here? It’s not like you don’t know what the Hell this film is about. Johnny Knoxville and his band of knuckleheads do more horrifyingly disturbing things to each other for the amusement (and horror) of others. Any questions? I didn’t think so.

Oh, Wes Craven, where is your Nightmare On Elm Street, your Scream, your Serpent and the Rainbow? They are gems of the past. It would seem all we’re left with in the present is My Money -uh, Soul, To Take. Oh, sure, it looks good, and there’s some good mis-direction, but where is the horror?

If you have never heard of the movie Atlantis Down, I don’t blame you, though it probably means you are not one of my Facebook friends. It is a American/Italian low budget Sci Fi Thriller that had its World Premiere at the Commodore Movie Theater in Portsmouth, VA where they flew me out for the event.