This Really Ticks Me Off!!!

I have a Myspace account for my cakes. My sister calls me and says she gets a friend request from another cake decorator. I look her up and find her profile. I quickly notice that she has requested all my clientele on Myspace

I have taken the time to browse and search for people rather than going on another cake decorator's profile and just requesting their "friends".I am so upset!!

Definitely ask her to be your friend, then tell her how under-handed it is to "friend" your clientele. Perfectly legal, tho. It's up to your friends to accept or deny her.

I understand, but that is so scummy!I have sat here for hours and friend requested simply by browsing through the web. I would never go under another cake decorator's profile (and there are many!) and request their friends.

Yes, You can see other cake decorator's profiles and their friends...I just didn't think that someone will be requesting everyone from my list....even my own sister! Although, she wouldn't know she is my sister, but you get the idea. I'm so upset.

They are obviously in your area if they are trying to get your customers. Maybe you know her or of her? I would try to contact this person and talk to them. Let them know that this is upsetting. You might find it is a waste of time though. If this person is doing this that tells you a lot about there morals and ethics. Good luck!

Unfortunatly that does not suprise me. There is a another busines in town simular to mine and we have had to get licensed to manufatcure greek (sorority & fraternity) items. (or be sued) She won't do it, yet, and is now under-cutting us out of spite. I know there is not much I can do, but it totally peeves me. (I did turn her in to the licensing firm, they may get her yet)

I know this is not hte christian thing to do, but sometimepeople just need to know that their actions are unacceptable. Do the same to her. She might get the picture.

I wrote to her and said, "There's really no need to be friend requesting my clientele. You can browse and use the mysapce feature and search for people in your area."

She responsed, " Please, I saw these people while browsing. I don't feel any competition, really."

It just goes to show you how people are nowadays.I responsed, "That's great that you don't. You're very talented, but I find it hard to believe that you found these people by browsing. You attempted to request my sister. You can friend request all you want, I can't stop you. But it just shows me how "confident" you are and where your morals stand."I blocked her after that.

There are a lot of people out there like this, who think that they just have to ask and boom, you have to help them out. I go to college, I drive 65 miles one way three times a week to get to class, and have been doing it for 4 years. I almost never miss. So when I have an 8 o'clock class I have to leave my house at 6 so I can drive there catch buses etc to have my butt in a chair 10 till 8. I HATE it when someone I dont even know comes up and asks me for my notes. I flat out tell them no. I work hard for my grades, and frankly I am in competition with them. Friends are obviously different but the nerve of some stranger wanting my notes ticks me off. Its not my fault you went out and got drunk the other night and slept through class, why is it them my duty to help your sorry butt out?

There are a lot of people out there like this, who think that they just have to ask and boom, you have to help them out. I go to college, I drive 65 miles one way three times a week to get to class, and have been doing it for 4 years. I almost never miss. So when I have an 8 o'clock class I have to leave my house at 6 so I can drive there catch buses etc to have my butt in a chair 10 till 8. I HATE it when someone I dont even know comes up and asks me for my notes. I flat out tell them no. I work hard for my grades, and frankly I am in competition with them. Friends are obviously different but the nerve of some stranger wanting my notes ticks me off. Its not my fault you went out and got drunk the other night and slept through class, why is it them my duty to help your sorry butt out?

You handled it with a lot more grace then I would have

Alicia

Thank You.

What more can I do? Is it legal, yes. Is it scummy and unethical, yes. But there are people out there like this. I've seen very very talented cake decorators in my area. Heck! I'm friends with one of them, but I NEVER went onto her list of friends and started requesting them for my own personal clientele. Oh well... this just encourages and pushes me more to become better at what I do.

Unfortunately there is a level of society out there (in all walks of life) that seems to lack scruples. Awhile back I took a writing class. Every week we had to write something and share it with the class. I quickly noticed that some of my ideas were appearing in subsequent assignments written by other students. So much for submitting original work.

Why isn't your profile set to private if you don't want people seeing your friends?

With it private no one can see your friends unless they are friended.

They can still search you out and request friends and then see your myspace once authorized.

I didn't put it on private because them some people can view my profile and if they're interested, they'll friend request me. That's happened to me before. But I never thought someone would stoop so low as to g o on my list and request them. But what more can I do?

I actually have mine set so everybody can view. Since it's just for my business, that way people don't have to set up a page to see my profile or view my pictures, etc. AND, it doesn't make my friend list a list of clients!Lori

Well, hubby gave me some good advice and told me that I should write a blog about this situation for all my friends to see.

This is what I wrote. Tell me what you all think:

Hi Everyone:

My name is Nathalie and I'm the cake decorator and co-founder of Everything's Cake. I am attempting to grow my career for my passion of baking and cake decorating. I take pride in what I do and I LOVE what I do! Everything's Cake started because I truly enjoy making your day or event special with a memorable and delicious cake or cupcake. As of right now, Everything's Cake is spreading by word of mouth and by our Myspace profile. I love being a part of your day or event because it really means a lot to me. I always encourage myself to provide quality products with quality service.

A few days ago, I receive a call from my sister asking if I knew a local cake decorator who had friend requested her on Myspace. I didn't recall the name. I see her profile on Myspace and immediately notice that she had friend requested all of my loyal clients and friends on Myspace. I am still deeply upset about this as I have worked so hard to build relationships with you all. There have been times where I have been logged on for hours speaking, writing, and even talking about my weekends with some of you! I truly find it unethical and, to be honest with you, lazy. I am not here to say, "Don't place an order with her!", but rather to give you all a heads up on the type of person you would be doing business with.

"XXXXXXXX" located in XXXXXX is who I am referring to.

I do want to thank all of you for being so supportive for Everything's Cake.I honestly could not have done it without all of you!

Maybe you should say something about how you apologize if they get a solicitation from this person. Like unfortunately, my friends list has turned into a free marketing list for this other decorator and you are sorry if they receive any "junk mail or offers" from this other person. Since you are all loyal customers of mine I wanted to give you kind of a "heads up" that you might be requested to be added to her friends list.

Have you checked her profile to see if any of your clientele accepted her request? I think that is such a terrible thing she did! I am sure she is going to go in there and try to get information about you and try to undercut you. I honestly can't believe the gall of this woman!!!!

I hope you don't mind me butting in here but, I think when you respond to people like this in this way it makes you look insecure. Atleast the second paragraph does. I know you are upset but I wouldn't post that anywhere. It just let's her know that she has gotten to you.

If you really feel the need to put it out there don't put so much sad emotion into it, make it light and funny. You can still say what you have to say and make it sound as if you aren't loosing sleep over this because you know you are the better person but "hey! look! HAHA isn't she funny?" kinda thing.

I have to say that I understand your need to put the blog up, I know I'd be so mad I'd throw cupcakes at her shop!! But...I think that in the spirit of business ethics and morality, putting up that blog is only going to her level. I'm totally not bashing you - it would be very hard for me not to say anything, but take pride in what you do and in the relationships you've built with your clients and be confident that your loyal customers will stay yours.

If anything I agree with cocorum21 in saying that you can just put a quick blog up saying "I apologize for any recent solicitations from another cake decorator who may have been contacting you. They are unethically contacting everyone in my friend list and I hope this hasn't caused any inconveniences." This way, no names are said, you don't look like you're intentionally trying to cause drama and it's a classy way of saying that someone is trying to get all of your clients!!

I was taught in business to never speak ill of your competition, rather play up your positive points. In other words do exactly as JessieB said-that statement "I apologize for any recent solicitations..." is right on target! This way you take the high road! It's a hard thing to do when you are justifiably outraged!

I have to say that I understand your need to put the blog up, I know I'd be so mad I'd throw cupcakes at her shop!! But...I think that in the spirit of business ethics and morality, putting up that blog is only going to her level. I'm totally not bashing you - it would be very hard for me not to say anything, but take pride in what you do and in the relationships you've built with your clients and be confident that your loyal customers will stay yours.

If anything I agree with cocorum21 in saying that you can just put a quick blog up saying "I apologize for any recent solicitations from another cake decorator who may have been contacting you. They are unethically contacting everyone in my friend list and I hope this hasn't caused any inconveniences." This way, no names are said, you don't look like you're intentionally trying to cause drama and it's a classy way of saying that someone is trying to get all of your clients!!

There is a feature on myspace where you can search people by zip code and/or city, is it possible she did this and just happened across the same people as you did?I know when I first set up my page thatâs what I did, I sat down and searched all the zip codes around me and randomly sent friends request to people who I thought would be interested in cakes.I now have some of the same friends as other decorators in my area. And it wasnât done intentionally, and if someone accused me of doing it on purpose I would be offended. Just a thought.

There is a feature on myspace where you can search people by zip code and/or city, is it possible she did this and just happened across the same people as you did?I know when I first set up my page thatâs what I did, I sat down and searched all the zip codes around me and randomly sent friends request to people who I thought would be interested in cakes.I now have some of the same friends as other decorators in my area. And it wasnât done intentionally, and if someone accused me of doing it on purpose I would be offended. Just a thought.

I did think about that, but it's just too much of a coincidense. First, it was my sister. Then, my close personal friends. Then my clients that have ordered from me in the past. I looked at everyone she had on her list and it was the same people.

My blog isn't intended to "trash" her. Actually, I even told her myself that she is very talented. She was the one in the first place stating that "there is no competition, really." I didn't go to her level and start commenting on people's profiles about her, I wrote the blog strictly to my friends advising them on what happened. Should I have handled it a little differently, sure. But it could've been worse. Thank you everyone for your input!

I know this won't help with the friends she has already sent requests to but you can insert a code in your profile that will hide your friends list. Here is the link to one of the sites that have the code. http://www.layoutstuff.com/myspace-codes-hide-friends Hope this helps