Trying. It can be really hard doing this...... But my No's are holding more weight with Bear. *smile* I'm not saying no all the time... which is nice.

To spend at least one Saturday doing nothing but crafting, maybe two!

I hope to try that next weekend!

To make my flannel board.

I hope to do it next weekend!

How are your goals going? How has your week been? Ok, HOW IS YOUR GARDEN? *smile*

Life is kinda hectic though.......

Coming to grips with emotional blackmail and the abuse that surrounds that (still not prepared to discuss it and when and if I do I will have the hubs helping me. I am so thankful for him and his strong arms) was hard. Sadly, I need prayer that I can come to grips with the fact that few in my family will "take my side" and they all prefer to pretend nothing happened..... Someone even questioned my mom to ascertain that it did indeed happen, like I couldn't be trusted, what my husband witnessed couldn't be trusted...... Why is this? Why would people prefer to pretend that someone they know could never do it, or that they are "just misunderstood" giving abusers excuses for their actions? The abuse I put up with has tainted my life........ On one hand it might make me more unsure on if I could be really loved as a person, and on another it makes me angry and injustice pains my very soul.....

Then on our anniversary I discovered our chest freezer went out. It was an old one and expected, but not expected, you know??? No, we wont replace it. All about downsizing and simplifying. *smile* I keep telling myself that.....

Amongst all this a woman we know locally took over $100 worth of Bear's clothes promising to pay on payday (I didn't charge her that much, I gave them to her for roughly $75, but I was hoping to make almost double that at JBF). When I told her she could pay on payday I assumed I would get a check that I would hold until her payday, and when I asked for the check and when I should cash it, I was informed that she doesn't do checks. (WARNING KIM. WARNING!!!) I should have went with my gut and said she couldn't take the items home, but I kicked that to the curb and she preyed upon my giving nature. On payday I asked here when I could expect payment and she then said payday was late (OK, strike one) and then she asked if Friday would be fine instead. I was sick with a cold so said yes that was fine (strike two) and when Friday came around I couldn't get a hold of her..... (strike three).

I tried every means I could to contact her and finally Saturday afternoon I got a hold of her. She said she didn't have the money and asked if we could trade (strike four and five). Nope. I don't do trades of clothing generally, and would not take her older children babysitting Bear as trade--she didn't ask because I said no right away (I don't get an easy feeling in that area)..... and Hubs nixed that idea with her anyway. I explained as nicely as I could that we couldn't trade; I explained that I needed to sell the clothes (it is going toward a Christmas gift for Bear) and told her Sunday I could be out to pick the clothes up. Sunday came along and she was very angry.... she wanted to buy one thing, and Hubs said he just wanted our stuff back, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me type of thing. She has blocked me on facebook and I can only suspect its because items are missing and she doesn't want to deal with me sending a message that way.... I wouldn't, I am just happy to be through and she must answer to God. I also would never try to make others that we all know dislike her, that isn't me, but I would like it if she is telling anyone anything that they check out my side. People just aren't like that though. They would rather believe a tale.

I feel like I was preyed upon, by someone we knew and called themselves a Christian. God gave me another wake up call..... Just because they call themselves one doesn't make it so..... What are the fruits.....

And ..... today I bumped the car exterior mirror on our recycle bin and it came loose and I am hoping the Hubs can reattach it! Bear said, "MOM! We shouldn't have parked so close!" *Laugh* Of course she had to observe it and try to get her tools out to replace it. Is the week over yet?????

I have been wanting to make a flannel board for a long time for use is story telling (me and Bear in her retelling efforts) and I am hoping it might be a fun way to learn about word formation and spelling. :-) I hope the week is better too. Thank you.