Artist, writer, teacher, Jane of all trades, living life to the dregs.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Do you ever have days where the lies of the enemy crowd in around you and you can barely hear yourself pray because of the din they make in your mind? ...where you see the good work of others and despair because you know you will never be that kind of person, have that talent, be that impressive, have that charisma? The distraction of this cacophony can be intense like a screeching microphone during a speech. The pressure bows the shoulders and tries to push tears from the eyes.

The enemy says, "You don't impact these peoples' lives, why even try? You won't be remembered by any of these students. You don't make a difference. You might as well go back to the States for all the good you do here! Other people are far better at this than you. Why are you even here?"

But this is where He goes wrong. Being remembered isn't the point. And if I look only to myself each statement is true. But while I can't make a difference, God can and HE has asked me to be here. I can't accomplish good here, but God can and HE has called me to be here. Other people may be far better at this or more talented, wiser, more impressive, but God's power is made perfect in weakness. Myself must die; I don't matter.

As the lies of the devil lose their power, the noise quiets, and I am in the quiet again. How do people survive if they are really the center of their worlds, if it is really they that matter?

Does the leaf complain that it is transitory and falls to the ground instead of being a more lasting piece of trunk?