tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26133557996847322742017-12-26T03:23:28.209-08:00Adjective's NounReneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-62371601253858865562016-11-09T14:31:00.002-08:002016-11-09T15:43:35.490-08:00Day OneWe woke up on and off all night, checking our phones and then briefly holding each other, trying to will away the horror. We tried to believe it would right itself in an overnight decision, a reversal of Florida or Pennsylvania. A miracle. We tried to have faith, despite the encroaching darkness. <br /><br /><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1jcbn-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">I got up at 5:30 to the final news. We embraced, tried to steel ourselves for the day. I would face dozens of students directly threatened by this turn, and soon, as well as pockets of gleeful good cheer and blinding lack of compassion. I dreaded both, trying to marshal the emotional forces to do what must be done, or at least to figure out what that means now, right now, in this terrible new world. He would face a torn staff, with many devastated and others gleeful. He would swallow that down to sell his lab's science to another room of executives. After all, only corporate interest can matter, now more than ever. What is&nbsp;<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2016/11/09/what-will-president-trump-mean-for-science/" target="_blank">science in this new world</a>? Only that which can make money can have a home at the university.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1jcbn-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">My 7:10 class, almost entirely Latinx and Filipino first-year college students, was church-house quiet. One of the few white students tried a joke, "<a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/move-canada-after-election-day-2016-11" target="_blank">So, what country are *you* moving to</a>?" I stopped and looked him in the face to get a sense of the intended tone. He dropped his gaze. "It's awful." The joke died on the vine. Everybody hurt too much.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0">A student I usually think of as a smiling ball of light sat at the front of the room and conferred in whispers with his friend. She put an arm around him. I asked them what was up. He said he was telling her about Pence's <a href="http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/07/mike-pences-top-seven-homophobic-moments-many/" target="_blank"> effort to divert AIDS funding to "conversion therapy"</a>. Tears welled in his eyes, and then in mine. He's terrified. This could happen to him. Policy director and VP Mike Pence would have him tortured and brainwashed in an effort to make him fit Pence's preferences. He would call his suicide "God's plan to save him from his sin." </span><br /><span data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0"><br /></span><br /><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">I tried to draw them out, but few wanted to talk. I asked how many had voted, and told them how sorry I was that this was their first election. "They aren't all like this," I told them. They looked at me, eyes too full of emotion in many cases, dead in others. It looked exactly like grief counseling, because that's what we were feeling--grief. Too many people lost hope today, experienced betrayal on such a fundamental level it cannot be unwritten. They will not forget. "I'm so sorry," I told them. My voice broke.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">G, a quiet young man in the back who moved here from Mexico only months ago, spoke up. "Even if he'd lost, we'd know half the people wanted him. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kkk-fliers-georgia_us_581cee21e4b0e80b02ca03d8" target="_blank">Half the people hate us</a>." I wanted to hug him. I wanted to weep. I am supposed to teach them English. I don't know what they learned today, other than the worst lessons of adulthood: people choose hate over love all the time; bullies often win; rear-guard action is often the most awful. I fear they learned the worst thing of all, the thing all survivors of violence learn--trust is very fragile, and once it's gone it's even harder to get back. It's true that once imperiled, you never really feel safe again.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">Every semester, I weave in civics questions as extra credit, extol the virtues of the ballot, encourage them to know how U.S. government is designed to work. I teach them to reason, to research, to express themselves and gain ground in a ground war rigged against them from the start. I try to show them that these can be foundational principles, that they matter. This is the first time the whole enterprise, the thing I have given my entire adult life to, felt like a lie and a waste. For the first time, I felt like a liar and a fraud. But, I was supposed to go on teaching them English. <br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">My 8:35 class is a veterans learning community. I didn't know what to expect, and was nervous approaching them. "Please don't let my evaluator come today. I don't have it today." I cycled these thoughts anxiously as I approached the room. The students already there were quiet. Several were all in black. I said good morning, and asked how they were.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"Well, that happened" a young ex-Marine said. Her usual blue jeans and hoodie were replaced with an all-black outfit. I raised an eyebrow at her as she approached with a missing assignment. "Seemed appropriate" she said. There were nervous laughs. I felt, horribly, relief. We aren't so different. Despite their conservative values and deep acculturation to the party, many of them were also uneasy or bothered or scared. Okay, let's do this.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"Where are you all with everything?" I asked them a vague question, trying to take the temperature. Nervous chuckles. <br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"I guess we're just a TV show now?"</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"Fucking good jobs with Border Patrol now though, right?"</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"Yeah, anyone in construction better gear up, start building that wall."</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"I still can't believe it."</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"I've still got four years of Guard time. I'm gonna get called up again."</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"Goddamn it, really?"</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"Yeah, right? What the fuck?"<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">Always a rowdier group, and full of amusing and baroque cursing, today their voices were loud but their words were simple. As one would sum it up, "I don't know what they're happy about. We're all fucked now."<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">As the voices overlapped, one small group pulled into themselves. The self-titled "white boy corner" was busily trading phones around. I broke into the conversation to ask what was up. They told me they were sharing memes, so I asked about them. "Oh, just stupid shit, you know. A lot more of them today, though." They started putting the phones away, still chuckling to themselves about the social media frenzy. One said, "I'm going into law enforcement. This is good for me." I asked him if he knew what "entitlement reform" meant, and how it relates to people on disability. He did not, but wrote it down to Google later. I know his afternoon will be a lot less amusing. I am torn between feeling bad for him and glad to open his eyes, though it is far too late. <br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">A chronically-late student arrived, well into class. I took his papers and noted that he's even later than usual. He got stopped at the border, which he crosses every day. When he showed his military i.d. and asked why they were hassling him so much when they see him every day, they told him to shut the fuck up and wait. After class, he told me he's used to getting a lot of grief because he grew his hair out and dresses like a slacker. Today, though, it wasn't the same. When he asked them to hurry up because he had somewhere to go, he was muscled aside. "Come on, man. We do this every day. I'm just asking you to step it up."<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">"It's a whole new world today, fucker. You'll wait."<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">He tried to laugh it off when we spoke after class. This combat veteran and native-born son of the United States has seen shit before. We both know this. "I always knew I'd live to see the end of the United States," he said with a nervous laugh. "I just didn't know it would be so soon."</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">~~~~~~</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">All of this happened between 1 and 10 a.m. today. In the hours since, I have talked to my sister and best friend and husband. We have shared tears and stilted talk and speculation, all of the usual parts of grief. We have shared our mourning process, and will continue to do so, because that <u style="font-weight: bold;">is </u>what we're doing: mourning. All of us keep briefly forgetting, and then having to wade through the dream-like feeling, and the horrible realization all over again, and again. This is a death.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">I looked at social media briefly, but it's too heartbreaking. Several of my most progressive friends are leaving social media, especially Facebook, out of a belief that it dumbs down the discourse. They seek to protect themselves, which I understand, but also seem to forget that taking the smartest people out of the room does not elevate the conversation. On the other hand, people I went to school with decades ago are crowing. They celebrate what they see as the preservation of their way of life. I believe them to be right, and so cannot have them in my life anymore. It hurts too much; their way of life is predicated upon my erasure and the erasure or enslavement of too many other people. I see the feeds of my Canadian, European and Asian friends and feel their horror, mystification, and dread. <br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">I don't want to leave, but I have no idea what to say or how to help. I am disgusted and physically ill.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">I suspect that anyone who has wondered what they would do if they saw fascism rise is about to learn the answer. Civil war is not impossible; unrest, suppression, and suffering are a certainty. We are witnessing history of the worst kind and, as always happens, millions are celebrating it openly and will never be called to account for the pain they will inflict on others. <a href="http://www.historyextra.com/article/bbc-history-magazine/country-crossroads-lincoln-1860-election-American-Civil-War" target="_blank">We stand at the crossroads.</a></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><br />I have work to do, both because I am paid to do it and because I believe it has value. I need to work.<br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">But I also know that, as my best friend so accurately and heartbreakingly summarized, my country took a referendum on my value and the value of many of the people whom I most cherish, and rejected us outright. It's hard to feel like I have value today. And then I think about how insulated I am, as a white person, a person whose differences of orientation and religion are easily closeted, and someone with healthcare and citizenship and the advantages of the relative political freedom of the Pacific coast. I think about that and I know that I have to be here, to provide safe harbor, to hold up a fucking light in this dark night. We all do. <br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">I just don't know how to find the strength, yet.</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">Help me, friends, please.</div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="1knpt" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="background-color: white;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="sh3h-0-0" style="color: #4b4f56; direction: ltr; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;"></div></div>Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-23507646481698692402016-03-16T19:13:00.001-07:002016-03-16T19:21:29.501-07:00Kermit<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KNvUXwekUMw/VuoT0DepkEI/AAAAAAAAARQ/l7mI8LsX_KckAdtTbLIs1qydNNJfpvXSw/s1600/Kermit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KNvUXwekUMw/VuoT0DepkEI/AAAAAAAAARQ/l7mI8LsX_KckAdtTbLIs1qydNNJfpvXSw/s400/Kermit.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />This doesn't really have a home and I don't know what it connects to, so I'm putting it here.&nbsp;</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">~~~~~~~~~</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm in my car, on the road to work on a sunny, smoggy, warm day just before spring. I am listening to Mark Bramhall read <i>Open Heart</i>, Elie Wiesel's last meditation on his life, work, and approaching death. His frank unwillingness to see his death approach, even as they prepared to open his chest and heart, both inspires and appalls me.&nbsp;</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">The skilled voice gives a dying man’s words richness and humor, steers them away from self-pity or indulgence. Wiesel’s confrontation of his mortality and the contents of his heart turns my mind toward my mother. All discussion of hearts, open or not, does that now.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Now off the highway, I stop behind a cherry-picker truck at a stoplight. It is a kind I have never seen before—black-framed and huge, far longer than the utility trucks I am used to seeing in my neighborhood.&nbsp;</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I see warning signs in both red/white and black/yellow color schemes, alternating between Danger and Peligro depending on who’s looking. Inanimate objects code switch more easily than I can. This both amuses and depresses me.&nbsp; Which is typical. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I drift between the words, so somber and reflective, and my own broody avoidance. She seems, as the dead so cruelly do, very near. That is not my feeling, but his. He speaks of a sister, lost, and found again in a granddaughter who bears her name. We are all the daughters of daughters, sons of sons. We are all lost and found again. I am not sure whose prayer that is. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal">Tears prickle behind my eyes. I take a deep breath, look up again at the black frame of the truck. Just in front of me, stuffed into a gap in the back frame, is a green bit of felt. It is the head of a Kermit the Frog doll. One eye is missing the black plastic that gives it context. The other stares blindly at me. It, he, grins in my direction. I am washed in nostalgia, bittersweet and full of lies. I laugh out loud. The light changes. Baruch Hashem.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div>Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-77987635256064722112015-12-02T12:49:00.002-08:002015-12-03T09:21:19.999-08:00A few totally unsolicited thoughts on religion and terrorismI was reading <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/02/us/robert-dear-planned-parenthood-shooting.html?smid=fb-nytimes&amp;smtyp=cur&amp;_r=0" target="_blank">this <i>New York Times </i>article</a>&nbsp;about Robert Dear this morning, and had some reactions. Things like:&nbsp;See how he gets a humanizing picture and a backstory? See how he's a "lone wolf", a crazy person, and not representative of an agenda? It was infuriating in several ways, but also illuminating of some trends in both violent action and reportage on it, and got me to thinking. Those thoughts quickly got lengthy, and so here we are.<br /><br />There are a lot of things to think through here, but what struck me the most was the "lone wolf" treatment he gets--very similar to other shooters. Some people were attempting to call his actions terrorism, and to tie it to his religious convictions, which is important to examine, but also fraught. There was also a seemingly related sense among some Christians that their religion was being targeted, offensively, by the secular. I read so many comments claiming versions of these things.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yZ9372DFss8/Vl9UOl_aqdI/AAAAAAAAAQs/c5fjTHpucw4/s1600/1timothy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yZ9372DFss8/Vl9UOl_aqdI/AAAAAAAAAQs/c5fjTHpucw4/s320/1timothy.jpg" width="261" /></a></div>Except that's bullshit, and spin. He's an extremist and a religious hypocrite with an agenda of destruction meant to scare people into changing the rules of society. That's textbook terrorism. Terrorism is not a thing done by brown people, or by Muslims, or by any group exclusively. It is a human tactic, one frequently linked to exclusionary ideologies. And we have to start really looking at terrorism, and terrorists, if we are going to change the current state of things.<br /><br />Robert Dear is not alone. Within the U.S., anti-women and anti-Black agendas, in particular, have had a lot of proponents act lately--as individuals, mostly--in violent and deadly ways. Those acting on local (and typically, but not always, far-right) agendas within the U.S. do not see how their actions align them with Daesh and Islamist terrorism. Yet, the process is much the same.<br /><br />Extremist religious proponents with aims at economic and/or political power espouse reactionary and potentially violent beliefs. They claim the actions of an Other bring negative judgment from Deity and that it's the duty of the believer to enforce Truth. The politicians and the media terrify and inflame members of the impoverished and confused, disenfranchised public. They particularly target able-bodied men, potential shock troops. They use their religious convictions and personal failings against them. They blame their struggles on a targetable Other. They direct their feelings of anger and revulsion toward those Others. Then they turn their backs on the wrecked lives of their own followers, claim credit for the carnage when it's convenient to their purposes (and deny it when it's not), and move on to the next objective.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N5285XoR2GI/Vl9Ti3JL8UI/AAAAAAAAAQc/l2zamJZ5rRw/s1600/crusades3_jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N5285XoR2GI/Vl9Ti3JL8UI/AAAAAAAAAQc/l2zamJZ5rRw/s320/crusades3_jpg.jpg" width="178" /></a>The terrorized populace fears and hates the combined forces of religious extremism, partisan media, and political demagogues (entrenching the proposed antagonist relationship), and their own current and potential followers look at them with a combination of fear and awe. In the U.S. the three pillars overlap but maintain a hypothetical separation. That separation is eroded by a number of forces, which is a related tangent for another time. Under Daesh, it's all conveniently folded into one power block--religion and media and government all under one massive and terrifying umbrella. The combined forces of these messages allow them to stand in for deity, to speak for God. This is how terrorists are made.<br /><br />It is not about religion, not really. Religion is an enabler, because of the intense level of emotion and the inherently irrational nature of belief. Some religions (and, probably not coincidentally, the most violence-prone) contain elements of dehumanization which make it easier. Misogynist, xenophobic and otherwise hierarchical messages within religious texts are ripe for exploitation. These elements are convenient for a propagandist, particularly one looking to motivate violence. That is not the fault of the religious, or even really of the religion. It is part of the complexity of faith, its containing of contradictions and ability to be manipulated for evil. Few beliefs run as deep as religious conviction. The deeply felt nature of religious belief, and the terrible experienced shame of falling short of one's convictions, is powerful and the combination is volatile.<br /><br />True awe, a combination of wonder and fear at the power of something, is rare and lives very close to religious belief in our experience. That which can inspire awe will bring us back to our feelings about deity. An organization that can create awe by shocking you with their power over life and death in a chaotic and confusing world, while also reminding you--even forcing you--to experience regularly your deepest and most overwhelming religiously-inspired emotions, can make you into a crusader.<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0harbR757Vg/Vl9T3tPG28I/AAAAAAAAAQk/cx9P6xzIqXs/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0harbR757Vg/Vl9T3tPG28I/AAAAAAAAAQk/cx9P6xzIqXs/s320/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a>If you are a serial philanderer with a string of pregnancies in his wake, and a violent abuser of women with a proven disregard for them as a group, what is the effect of being told by Rush Limbaugh that only "sluts" want birth control? If you are a person with deeply-felt religious belief who keeps falling short of right behavior within it, what is the effect of being told by Donald Trump that sexual assault is inevitable if women and men are in close proximity? If you do not know how many pregnancies you may have created, or what has become of them, what is the effect of being told by Carly Fiorina that Planned Parenthood sells baby parts? And by Ted Cruz that Christians are being targeted for genocide? It might start to look like women can't be trusted, men must and will have sex by any means, babies are being slaughtered by irresponsible women, and there's a war on people of good faith.<br /><br />This is how religious convictions are used to create killers.<br /><br />None of this is meant to exonerate Dear or others like him. Nor is he more worthy of humanization than any other murderer and terrorist. However, all murderers and, yes, even terrorists are people first. No matter their crimes, and even if the species cannot abide their continued existence, there was a process that got them there. And if we are ever going to prevent these acts of violence and the process of hatred that motivates it, we have got to try to understand how it happens.Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-78814699411951452522015-09-02T12:28:00.000-07:002015-09-02T12:28:44.228-07:00What I learned from (teaching) Television<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lIBe5UiciAE/VedAg_KfW7I/AAAAAAAAALw/LupNv6fOWJE/s1600/30%2BRock%2Blove%2Beverybody%2BTV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lIBe5UiciAE/VedAg_KfW7I/AAAAAAAAALw/LupNv6fOWJE/s1600/30%2BRock%2Blove%2Beverybody%2BTV.jpg" /></a></div>Last semester, I made a conscious decision to teach television as primary text for unpacking in my analysis classes. It was an experiment, practically, but a pedagogically sound one. I intended to follow up with what texts I taught and how they were received by students. So, lo these months later, here are the five key results.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jmWZ-D26d7Y/VedGmWm-nMI/AAAAAAAAAMA/IcUCT-Q2jYI/s1600/Grace%2BLoves%2BTV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="108" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jmWZ-D26d7Y/VedGmWm-nMI/AAAAAAAAAMA/IcUCT-Q2jYI/s200/Grace%2BLoves%2BTV.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>Students LOVED talking about and watching television</b>. Because they were enthusiastic about it, and because the text wasn't threatening to them (everybody, after all, is an expert at watching television), they seemed to put good effort into the experience of viewing and discussing the shows we watched.<br /><ol><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Yl_-ZlZqmc/VedIIhjw12I/AAAAAAAAAMM/p5kjlM53uBE/s1600/New%2BGirl%2BConfusion.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Yl_-ZlZqmc/VedIIhjw12I/AAAAAAAAAMM/p5kjlM53uBE/s320/New%2BGirl%2BConfusion.gif" width="320" /></a></ol><b>Students are savvy watchers of satire, but have little experience explaining how it works</b>. I was prepared for students to struggle with some of the more political critiques offered, or to need considerable context in order for some more obscure jokes and references to land. In reality, many of the jokes landed resoundingly well, suggesting a level of sophistication to their collective sense of humor that I may not always give them credit for. BUT, when pressed to discuss it, most found it very difficult to express <i>why</i>&nbsp;it was funny, or what ideas were being sent up in any particular section. A lot of our efforts went to acquiring that language.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Eq1gjN6Twr0/VedJrQNADTI/AAAAAAAAAMk/qmslhLv-j2U/s1600/Timey%2BWimey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Eq1gjN6Twr0/VedJrQNADTI/AAAAAAAAAMk/qmslhLv-j2U/s320/Timey%2BWimey.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><b>Their Netflix and other streaming history puts us on surprisingly even footing</b>. Now that I'm approaching forty, I'm used to my cultural references having drifted somewhat from theirs. After all, there is now a generation between us. However, in the last few years, I've noticed that we're coming back together again in our reference points via the internet. That was never more pronounced than during a semester in which we spent a lot of time discussing television watching habits and content. Binge watching and the instant availability of older shows mean that we're still sharing viewing experiences, but in new ways. Also, a show about which they may have known nothing at the start, they would sometimes then binge watch after seeing an episode or two in class.<br /><br /><b>The analysis papers were every bit as sophisticated, well-developed, and insightful as papers about more traditional narratives.</b>&nbsp;This wasn't surprising, really, as I have read a lot of smart analysis about television in both popular and academic venues. But, it was validating as to the value of television as a text-producing medium for the classroom. Also, I got more surprising observations about television than I tend to get about books or other traditional written texts. I don't know if it's their familiarity with the medium, the wealth of information available to them on the web about these texts, or some other factor, but they had some things to say.<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZcK5gModdgU/VedJrZm2hpI/AAAAAAAAAMo/Hvv0bgkOjIo/s1600/Ron%2BSwanson%2Bno%2Bregret.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZcK5gModdgU/VedJrZm2hpI/AAAAAAAAAMo/Hvv0bgkOjIo/s320/Ron%2BSwanson%2Bno%2Bregret.jpg" width="320" /></a><b><br /><br />Comedies worked better than dramas, overall</b>. They each wrote one paper on an episode of a half hour comedy, and an episode of a &nbsp;hour-long drama. I got strong papers on each, and at least one strong paper about each single episode, but overall the comedy papers were better. I suspect it has to do with the tremendously fast pace of joke content in contemporary sit-coms. There so much to unpack there that it's easy to find enough to say. Also, the dramas tended to require more context in order to make sense, which was a limiting factor for some<br /><ol></ol><div><ul><li>Best episode for class discussion, comedy "Return of the King," <i>The&nbsp;Boondocks</i></li><li>Best episode for class discussion, drama: "Man on the Street", <i>Dollhouse</i></li><li>Strongest overall papers: "Diversity Hire", <i>Archer</i>&nbsp;and "Jaynestown", <i>Firefly</i></li><li>Wouldn't teach again: "The Pain in the Heart", <i>Bones</i></li><li>Surprised it still works: "Cherokee Hair Tampons," <i>South Park</i></li></ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S5NBLUKMHwk/VedNQn0nTeI/AAAAAAAAAM4/2N4L_8Fd0XI/s1600/Jersey%2BShore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S5NBLUKMHwk/VedNQn0nTeI/AAAAAAAAAM4/2N4L_8Fd0XI/s320/Jersey%2BShore.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>For my next TV challenge, this semester I will be teaching Season 4 of <i>Jersey Shore</i>, in which the cast goes to Florence, Italy. We will watch and analyze a full season, rather than individual episodes from multiple shows. My own students are travelling to Florence, so it's relatable. It's relatively recent, but also fading from the cultural awareness quickly, as tends to happen with reality television. Most importantly, it affords a great opportunity to examine identity construction (with the cast self-identifying with the "Guido" sub-culture, and many of the cast members espousing strong but mixed ethnic identities), the editorial process and narrative framing, and cultural dislocation. In December, I'll update with how it went.&nbsp;</div></div>Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-28879620912761124982015-08-13T08:47:00.000-07:002015-08-13T08:51:53.968-07:00So, about that Atlantic piece on trigger warnings...This one doesn't have any fun gifs, because it's just not that kind of post. Sorry. Next time, I'll work in some silly.<br /><br /> My social media has been blowing up with <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/">The Atlantic</a> article on trigger warnings that came out this week. That, of course, followed up immediately with the <a href="http://www.themarysue.com/trigger-warnings-arent-coddling/">usual roster </a> of <a href="http://thesocietypages.org/cyborgology/2015/08/12/the-coddling-of-the-hateful-mind/">angry responses</a> and <a href="http://reason.com/blog/2015/08/11/how-trigger-warnings-maker-college-stude">taking it too far, unhelpful agreement</a>. I try not to get sucked into this conversation anymore, because it's so maddening. It just...these are the times when I realize that my specific circumstances kind of obligate me to keep informing fellow educators about PTSD, and it's exhausting trying to push that particular boulder up the hill. But, that's all just to explain this long and rambling post, which I have nowhere better to put than here. So, here's one version of my trigger warnings rant, because someone on Facebook asked me for it.<br /><br />~~~<br /><br />I really have no problem with content warnings. I use them myself. It says something like "we will discuss issues and review material about race, sex, class, sexual orientation and culture. If you find disagreement on these subjects uncomfortable or cannot participate calmly and respectfully in a conversation about them, then this isn't the right section for you." What I do not do, under any circumstances, is allow student to opt out of material because it makes them uncomfortable. I would if it were going to TRIGGER--which is a flag word for PTSD, a specific disorder with very specific symptoms and pathways--them. But, it isn't. Because that isn't how triggers work. <br /><br />Before anyone thinks I'm full of shit, here are my bonafides: I've had PTSD, I did my dissertation research on violence and trauma, and I have for many years taught traumatized vets in the home city of the Pacific fleet. If anything, I am uniquely qualified to witness the realities of trauma in the classroom. And it doesn't work like ANYBODY writing seems to think, which leads me to believe that very few of the people writing about it have any real experience with it.<br /><br />Here's the thing about PTSD: it has little to do with content or conversation.The worst classroom PTSD events I've seen in my teaching life have been caused by events, not material. One was a woman who'd been shot in a carjacking. Her PTSD was so severe she could no longer drive nor leave her suburban town. In her class, we watched 2 movies dealing with violent crimes against women, one with a gun. Because of her DSS status, I had been prepared for her to need to step out or take some other anxiety-managing steps. But, no. She was fine with the material. The compartmentalization techniques of the logic class were ultimately very helpful to her, so much so that I collaborated with her psychiatrist briefly on her case plan. BUT--our classroom was near the auto yard. The day there was a big backfire, she hit the floor in a cold sweat, full-scale flashback. Sound is a major trigger.<br /><br />The other big event in class was with a veteran who'd survived a sniper only to be IEDed later. Someone came up behind during a heated conversation, and there was a full meltdown. Typically, the soldier's back would have been to the wall, as that's a standard move to take with PTSD cases, especially vets (who always tend to half-watch their six). But, because it was a classroom full of separation-service vets (either at the end of careers or mustering out due to injury), it hadn't been possible to put everyone with their back to the wall, and in a classroom with a rear door, that poses problems. Surprises , especially body proximity surprises, are a major trigger source. Several other members of that classroom recognized the event for what it was, and so we were able to clear physical space for the anxiety to flash over, and the traumatized vet's service dog was able to help him calm. That was a group event. It was better that he wasn't alone. It was better we were all there (including the service dog, of course). And, again, it had nothing to do with the conversation or content, but with suddenly seeing a person behind him.<br /><br />You'll notice that neither of these events has anything to do with content. And that's the way of it for my own PTSD (now almost entirely resolved). Sounds, smells, and surprises--particularly body-proximity, and/or from behind--are all major sources of trigger. Fiction, conversation, ideas? Not at all. In fact, ideas and conversation--finding new ways to approach the ideas around the trauma--are crucial to healing. Avoidance does not contribute to healing in the long term. Don't believe me? Believe <a href="http://for%20people%20with%20ptsd%2C%20it%20is%20very%20common%20for%20their%20memories%20to%20be%20triggered%20by%20sights%2C%20sounds%2C%20smells%20or%20even%20feelings%20that%20they%20experience.%20these%20triggers%20can%20bring%20back%20memories%20of%20the%20trauma%20and%20cause%20intense%20emotional%20and%20physical%20reactions%2C%20such%20as%20raised%20heart%20rate%2C%20sweating%20and%20muscle%20tension.%20because%20these%20memories%20and%20feelings%20are%20unpleasant%2C%20you%20may%20have%20the%20urge%20to%20avoid%20the%20triggers.%20avoiding%20things%20that%20make%20you%20uncomfortable%20is%20normal%20and%20will%20make%20you%20feel%20better%20in%20the%20short%20run.%20%20but%20in%20the%20long%20run%2C%20this%20avoidance%20will%20make%20things%20worse.%20if%20the%20pattern%20continues%2C%20you%20can%20make%20your%20problems%20worse.%20instead%20of%20avoiding%20triggers%2C%20it%20is%20probably%20better%20to%20learn%20how%20to%20manage%20your%20reactions%20when%20they%20are%20triggered.%20many%20forms%20of%20therapy%20are%20effective%20in%20treating%20ptsd.%20%20cognitive%20behavioral%20therapy%2C%20in%20particular%2C%20can%20help%20you%20learn%20ways%20to%20reduce%20and%20manage%20your%20reactions%20to%20triggers./">Dr. David Riggs</a> who writes "Because these memories and feelings are unpleasant, you may have the urge to avoid the triggers. Avoiding things that make you uncomfortable is normal and will make you feel better in the short run. But in the long run, this avoidance will make things worse. If the pattern continues, you can make your problems worse. Instead of avoiding triggers, it is probably better to learn how to manage your reactions when they are triggered." Avoidance is a management strategy for newly-diagnosed PTSD, but that's about all. Resolving PTSD relies upon more subtle methods. <br /><br />I have two significant problems with the trigger warning debate. The first is that the discussion tends to use the language of neurological trauma--PTSD--to describe all people who have had negative experiences. While microaggressions and bad experiences of all types take a psychological toll, that is not the same as trauma in a neurological sense. Also, not all of what we call trauma creates PTSD (and therefore, the potential to be triggered). It doesn't create flashbacks, or the other physical symptoms of PTSD. Mixing the language of pain with that of neurological trauma/PTSD not only makes sure that those who have had negative experiences and could use the chance to consider, evaluate and understand them are sometimes guarded from doing so, it helps to undermine understanding of those--such as a decade's worth of returning veterans now in the classroom--who face the neurological realities of PTSD. If we water down the language, when it's already hard to get the VA to treat PTSD and help vets who have it, I worry that it only enables DoD's avoidance of the issue. <br /><br />The other problem is that trigger warnings are used by conservative college administrations to stifle academic freedom. Some campuses (including one at which I work) curtail the use of "controversial content" to avoid making waves. One of their flags for content review and removal is the "trigger warning". The logic is that if it is going to be too upsetting to students, then we shouldn't be teaching it. That's just several kinds of wrong.<br /><br />Cognitive dissonance is a real, and important, part of learning. The hard conversations rile us up and often bring up our most painful moments. It makes sense to provide a neutral space in which to think the hard thoughts, and to moderate the conversation around it. That's the role of a teacher--to guide and to provide space. Trauma, however, is both not the same thing and not something that will be ameliorated by limiting the conversation or opting out of the curriculum. PTSD healing requires an integrated therapeutic plan. At most, a teacher can be included in that plan (as, ultimately, I was with the gunshot survivor). Never should the teacher step in and pre-emptively play psychiatrist "just in case". We're not qualified, and most importantly, by doing so we're not helping.<br /><br />If you don't know much about PTSD, but would like to know more, here are some resources:<br /><br />American Psychological Association (APA)<br />Phone: (800) 374-2721<br /><a href="http://www.apa.org/">www.apa.org</a><br /><br />Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA)<br />Phone: (240) 485-1001<br /><a href="http://www.adaa.org/">www.adaa.org</a><br /><br />Freedom from Fear (FFF)<br />Phone: (718) 351-1717<br /><a href="http://www.freedomfromfear.org/">www.freedomfromfear.org</a><br /><br />International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS)<br />Phone: (847) 480- 9028<br /><a href="http://www.istss.org/">www.istss.org</a><br /><br />National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)<br />Phone: (800) 950-NAMI (6264)<br /><a href="http://www.nami.org/">www.nami.org</a><br /><br />National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (NCPTSD)<br />Phone: (802) 296-5132<br /><a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/">www.ptsd.va.gov</a><br /><br />National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC)<br />Phone: (202) 467-8700<br /><a href="http://www.ncvc.org/">www.ncvc.org</a><br /><br />National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)<br />Phone: (866) 615-6464<br /><a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/">www.nimh.nih.gov</a><br /><br />Screening for Mental Health (For Military)<br />Phone: (781) 239-0071<br /><a href="http://www.militarymentalhealth.org/">www.militarymentalhealth.org</a><br /><br />The Sidran Traumatic Stress Institute<br />Phone: (410) 825-8888<br /><a href="http://www.sidran.org/">www.sidran.org</a><br /><br />____<br /><br />TL;DR: trauma and discomfort are different, and treating them as the same does a disservice to all students, but especially those struggling with PTSD.Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-64656373302533760212015-04-01T09:47:00.000-07:002015-04-01T09:48:53.034-07:00Unnatural Selection: Choosing Texts to Teach <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BzAOS5YlU40/VRwYYDuZmhI/AAAAAAAAAKU/AwpNEXRAC6c/s1600/book%2Bselection.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BzAOS5YlU40/VRwYYDuZmhI/AAAAAAAAAKU/AwpNEXRAC6c/s1600/book%2Bselection.gif" height="170" width="320" /></a></div>Remember libraries? With books? How did you pick yours?<br /><br />I was always a stacks-wanderer, and then a follower of particular authors and topics. I'd slip between stacks and look at colors, words, even the numbers of the spines, pulling out any that grabbed my attention.<br /><br />I know, I know: don't judge a book by its cover. But, I did. It wasn't all about pretty pictures, but it definitely took something visual to pull me in, at least that first time. Once I'd had a good experience with an author or a topic, I'd be ready to look past covers and prepare for the good stuff inside, but the first time was all about hitting on the pretty one at the dance.<br /><br />And I was, and am, a "book person." Yet, my choices were made in exactly the way we caution people not to do it. They were superficial, visual, and sometimes even instinctual or reflexive.<br /><br />At bookstores, it had more to do with price. I didn't take risks, the way that I would at a library. I chose authors I knew I'd enjoy, and bought them at the lowest possible price (if at all). I didn't have much money, I moved a lot, and books were both an investment and a thing likely to be lost in the continual reshuffle of transience.<br /><br />The reason I bring this up is that it factors into how I choose texts to teach. I think about my students and their financial woes and relative disinterest in reading. I think about their avowed disinterest in anything that smacks of authority, formal schooling outside of a career track, or the distant past (anything before Clinton). I don't acquiesce to it by rote, but I am very aware of the limitations. I consider it part of my job to get them interested in thinking about texts, but not necessarily about texts themselves. I try to get them to see that they are already immersed in texts. Sometimes, that opens the door to books. Other times, it just gets them to see what's really going on in the icky global and sexual politics of the <i>Iron Man</i>&nbsp;series.<br /><br />So, in choosing texts, I have a few simple criteria I use to help me find something workable.<br /><br /><ol><li><b>Curriculum requirements</b>: naturally, it needs to fit the needs of the class, the system, and the state boards. Also, for a lot of classes, it needs to be on an approved list of some kind, or I have to go about getting approvals.</li><li><b>Cost</b>: less is more. So many books, and so many of them can be gotten cheaply. I avoid the needlessly steep sticker-prices where I can. As a result, I use a lot of texts which have hit the public domain, been through many editions with minimal change, or which are available online.</li><li><b>Bite Sizes</b>: I often have classes of 50 minutes to 1.5 hours, and that means we don't have a lot of time to run a long discussion. In order to make real sense of a text, we need to be able to break it into smallish pieces and discuss it in chunks over a number of days or weeks. Longer texts, then, need to have clear breaks in chapters and/or action. Films need to have discrete themes and clear plotlines. Television shows need to work when viewed without narrative continuity. We don't have the time for extensive recapping.</li><li><b>Thematic content</b>: &nbsp;What makes it relatable is what makes it work, I think. That boils down to themes and how available they are for parsing. A good Bildungsroman is often good, because youth and growing up are relatable to everyone, but particularly to traditional college students. I also like to use texts which consider themes of power and corruption, authority and resistance, sexual mores, ethical responsibilities and dilemmas, and mistakes. These help to reach a wider range of students, including resistant or alienated folks. Also, they provoke passionate discussion, wide disagreement, and keep me interested.&nbsp;</li><li><b>Informational content</b>: for composition classes, the needs are pretty clear. But, I've also taught sociology, psychology and anthropology-based courses, where the needs were more diverse. In those cases, I've often chosen texts which offered a variety of essays on a topic, or which gave a discussion-friendly overview of a topic.</li></ol><div>I don't think there's a magic formula for this. I have to be interested enough to cheerlead for their interest and participation. They need to "get" it, and be willing to talk about it. Everybody needs to able to obtain and afford it. The rest is up to interpretation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some books I have taught which worked well: <i>The Reader; The Good Brother; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest; I Never Promised You a Rose Garden; Coyote Blue; Tallgrass; Welcome to the Monkey House; Like Water for Chocolate; How We Eat: Appetite, Culture, and the Psychology of Food; Bodies in the Making: Transgressions and Transformations.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Some of the films:<i>&nbsp;Fight Club; Dr. Strangelove; Scream; Hard Candy; Tape; Freeway; The Curve; The Truman Show; But I'm a Cheerleader</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>TV shows: <i>Firefly, Scrubs; Parks and Recreation; The Boondocks; South Park; Archer</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>My next textual experiment will be some pairings. The ones I have on deck at present are Dante's <i>Inferno</i>&nbsp;and the comic-book film <i>Constantine </i>as well as&nbsp;<i>Romeo and Juliet</i>&nbsp;and the zombie film <i>Warm Bodies. </i>And that's the thing I've had to keep learning: evolution. It gets too easy to rely on what I've already done. So, I try to change up my texts at least every 2 years, so that I'm getting to look at something with relatively fresh eyes as well.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>How do you choose texts to teach? What tends to work? What doesn't? Has your process changed over the years?</div>Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-6218796154216620252015-03-09T14:20:00.002-07:002015-03-09T16:20:57.108-07:00School is not an App: Resisting the Gamification of the Classroom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xq_F2lqZV9E/VP3036Gl_aI/AAAAAAAAAJw/rsAXeE_X6pw/s1600/twitter-classroom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xq_F2lqZV9E/VP3036Gl_aI/AAAAAAAAAJw/rsAXeE_X6pw/s1600/twitter-classroom.jpg" height="313" width="400" /></a></div>Warning: Long argument, with lots of imbedded evidence links, ahead.<br /><br />I warn you about this because I know that very few of us have the concentration to finish reading a 1500-word blog article. Fewer still follow up on linked evidence, even if the topic interests us. And that should tell us plenty about how technology is affecting our ability to think.<br /><br />~~~<br /><br />My students live for, and through, their phones, tablets, and laptops. They come in with earbuds in place which they are reluctant to remove. They have deep feelings about their phone carrier, their video games of choice, and their streaming services. They weep, inconsolably, if a smartphone is lost, stolen or broken. They identify themselves by the consumer-driven binaries of Mac/PC, console/computer, &nbsp;and Android/IPhone.<br /><br />The few who resist the consumer-electronic branding of their generation by huge corporations face teasing or stony silence should they mention their abstention. One of the points of critical thought is to interrogate and challenge our assumptions, so I start there: I have them put their phones in their pockets or face-down on the table. Then, they will check them--sometimes unconsciously. What they find there is usually meaningless, and often doesn't even exist. It is just the urge which drives their action. It is their boss. They are slaves to the machine.<br /><br />That machine is full of pictures, text messages from friends and family, YouTube videos of things they found fun or were assigned as educational, creative content illegally downloaded for free, and a window to the infinite variety of the internet. But, ask them to find something online and they are lost if it cannot be put into the form of a question, as though Google (and all algorithmic search engines) are Alex Trebek. Despite being the digital generation, they have little idea how to engage meaningfully with the resources available to them online.<br /><br />It is not a coincidence that during the same time that job security, academic funding, and content-based teaching have all been undermined or eliminated we have also turned, ever more, toward technology as a solution for all the problems of our seriously adrift and ever-lower-performing educational system. We increase class size but think that computers will make that workable. We undermine educational advancement possibilities and funding for state schools, but suppose that giant online education factories will fill the gaps, at a profit. This is just...wrong. Technology is not a solution. It is, at best, a tool which can enhance an already-functioning classroom environment. Technology will not stand in for competent and knowledgeable teachers, meaningfully considered pedagogy, ethical resource allocation, the opportunity to discuss ideas with peers and subject-matter experts, and the dissemination of actual information. It just will not.<br /><div><br /></div>Now, I'm not an idiot: I know the internet is here to stay, and technology drives the economy and therefore will continue to grow and change much more quickly than our biological or social understanding of its ramifications. So, I accept its presence. I try to teach my students to make better use of the resources available to them online. I teach them how to manipulate Boolean search strings, how to find content for free without stealing from artists, how to evaluate online information for accuracy, relevance and scope. I bring in digital content and we unpack YouTube videos and stream movies or television shows to discuss. We connect over this week's super-cute llama videos, or last week's blue dress/white dress controversy. I answer emails and rely on Blackboard. Technology is part of the class.<br /><br />But, I draw boundaries.<br /><br />I do not allow cellphone use in the classroom. To take a call, send a text, or go online, they must leave the room. If we need a spot-answer during discussion, I turn on the projector for the class computer and we search together, so they can see what I did online to arrive at and validate the information needed. They do not pull out their phones and start Googling without guidance.<br /><br />I do not use social media in the classroom and I don't engage with students over social media away from class. (That's a slippery slope I want no part of. At all.) Personally, and just for me, I don't think it's helpful to bring social media into the classroom. I am trying to engage them in a millenia-old conversation. I don't think that conversation is particularly helped by the introduction of more abstraction or more distancing, both of which technological intervention brings. Also, I am trying to help them learn how to engage deeply and in a continuous fashion with ideas and concerns, and I believe that is actively undermined by technology.<br /><br />I'm not alone in this. <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/09/25/why-a-leading-professor-of-new-media-just-banned-technology-use-in-class/" target="_blank">Even some advocates of technology have turned against its use</a>--and <u>especially</u>&nbsp;social media use--in the classroom. And yet, I seem to encounter ever more proponents of its use, many of whom I know to be engaged educators actively seeking classroom success and student improvement. So, what gives?<br /><br />Some people who advocate tech in the classroom, especially "social learning" models, suggest that by embracing social media (et al), we are just embracing the world students actually inhabit and helping them to navigate it. That's a problem, to me. Since when is it our job, as educators, to accept the world's problems and limitations and just teach students to live within them, rather than to understand <b>and </b>challenge the world? Also, even if it were the mission to teach students to operate within the limitations of their era and resources, it would still require that they first learn. That requires sustained focus and deep engagement, <a href="http://news.stanford.edu/news/2009/august24/multitask-research-study-082409.html" target="_blank">neither of which is at all stimulated by technological intervention. &nbsp;</a><br /><br />The other big argument is something along the lines of "It's fun" or "It keeps me young." This <a href="http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/multitask.htm" target="_blank">actually does square with the research</a>, but the message is not an entirely positive one. We do it because we enjoy it, not because it works. I've been searching, and I've yet to find one peer-reviewed study suggesting that multi-tasking improves outcomes or experience, other than it being entertaining. Are we privileging that metric?<br /><br />I've heard the arguments in favor of a high level of tech use in the classroom, and the associated distraction, but I do not embrace or accept them. We are <u><b>not</b></u> teaching them to multi-task. There is <a href="http://www.brainfacts.org/sensing-thinking-behaving/awareness-and-attention/articles/2013/the-multitasking-mind/" target="_blank">no evidence</a> that we are <a href="http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/11/multitasking-takes-toll-on-memory-study-finds/?_r=0" target="_blank">actually good multi-taskers</a>, as individuals or as a species. The few who are have not been taught to be so, either. There is little to no evidence that smartphone use creates any meaningful knowledge or substantially improves classroom outcomes (<a href="http://www.irrodl.org/index.php/irrodl/article/view/794/1487" target="_blank">at least, in the developed world</a>). The few studies which promote technology in the classroom are not only backed by education-tech money, (looking at you, <a href="http://www.brookings.edu/~/media/research/files/papers/2013/09/17-mobile-learning-education-engaging-students-west/brookingsmobilelearning_final.pdf" target="_blank">Brookings</a>) but riddled with internal contradictions and false equivalencies. (Seriously, read that Brookings study. It's a primer in logical fallacies.)<br /><br />In fact, all of the evidence--both epidemiological and cognitively longitudinal--suggests that reliance on technology creates <a href="http://www.academia.edu/1879003/In-class_multitasking_and_academic_performance" target="_blank">distraction, undermines productivity</a>, delays the development of <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2011/03/23/multitasking-body-language-and-leadership/" target="_blank">interpersonal communication skills</a>, and even causes physical problems like thumb-based carpal tunnel syndrome and neck strain from craning one's head downward to stare at the mini-screen all day. That says nothing of eye strain, or even the ability to make eye contact.<br /><br />So, I use technology to enhance what we're already doing. I use it to show visual media, sometimes to bring in a relevant clip to discuss, and to streamline our communications. I use SafeAssign to help throw a roadblock in front of cheaters, and I take homework by email when a student cannot make it to class on deadline day. I also use it to distribute handouts, now that the lack of funding for education--and lack of prioritization of the classroom within school budgets--has made it ridiculously difficult even to get copies made. (Just take it to this building, six blocks away, between the hours of 3:17 and 3:42 a.m. Don't forget your sixteen digit access code, proof of citizenship, and to bring your own paper.)<br /><br />Technology isn't educational. It's entertainment, <a href="http://fridaymagazine.ae/features/reportage/smart-phone-manufacturing-the-social-and-environmental-implications-1.1218884" target="_blank">It's</a> <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/replacing-olds-smartphones-with-newer-models-creates-environmental-problems/2011/10/24/gIQAaXzrZM_story.html" target="_blank">problematically</a> <a href="http://kth.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:677729/FULLTEXT01.pdf" target="_blank">anti-ecological</a> <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/tech/stuff-of-smartphones.html" target="_blank">consumption</a>. It's a good way to avoid work. It's a great way to figure out where you will meet your friends for pizza. It's an additional expense (or more) in everyone's month, <a href="http://www.dailytech.com/Average+Mobile+Phone+Bill+in+US+is+Growing+Despite+Competition/article34485.htm" target="_blank">which shows no signs of getting less expensive, despite market saturation</a>. It's a source and stimulus for change, which can be good, bad or something else. <a href="http://www.tolerance.org/supplement/five-standards-effective-pedagogy" target="_blank">Conversation is educational</a>. And that's the one thing everyone's smart phone seems not to help at all: engagement with a conversation.<br /><br />So for now, I'm going to ask them to put the phones down and <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0360131512002254" target="_blank">close the laptops</a>. I'll ask them questions and look them in the eye while they answer. I'll write things on the board and ask them to write them down, in their own hand. I'll do it the slow way. Somehow, we all still manage to arrive, even without the little birdie in our pockets chirping at us which way to go.<br /><br />TL;DR: 1) Technology will not make anyone who already has access to it smarter or better educated, and 2) your inability to read this whole blog entry illustrates why that is true.<br /><br />Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-9203252911567304322015-02-13T15:00:00.000-08:002015-02-13T15:01:05.907-08:00Happiness, Honesty & Humor: Staying Positive<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N7sMsL1hmUs/VN59Hc_BGnI/AAAAAAAAAJI/yKtFHY1_IVo/s1600/Renee%2Bmarathon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N7sMsL1hmUs/VN59Hc_BGnI/AAAAAAAAAJI/yKtFHY1_IVo/s1600/Renee%2Bmarathon.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>This week's prompt was to elaborate on how we stay positive. Most times I have read blogs on a similar theme, the result tends to be about keeping a cheerful disposition, avoiding bad moods, or circumventing the willingness to experience negative emotions like anger, sadness, or fear.<br /><br />I think we need a more complicated view than the whole positive/negative binary. That's why I chose the picture at left. This was the morning I ran a marathon, in January 2014. In the picture, taken around 12 miles in, I look blissful, and I am. I am also in mild pain, and fighting to maintain bodily control and pace.<br /><br />I have never felt more positive, more optimistic and powerful and full of life. But it would be wrong to say that it was all ease and happiness. I also felt scared that I wouldn't last the distance, or that the pain would become too much to continue, and irritated that no member of my blood family had--or probably would ever--attended a race in which I ran. These were not mutually exclusive experiences, but deeply interwoven ones. I am not sure we need to stay positive, so much as we need to maintain a balance of light and dark.<br /><br />So, I'd say the first part of restoring balance, for me, is: <b>STOP FAKING IT</b><br /><br />When I am happy, I share it. When I am not, I try to keep it relatively quiet, but I also don't lie about it. I moderate the range of my moods and experiences for the sake of others, but I have long since stopped trying to show people the face I think they want to see. I am just guessing anyway, and in trying to be what other people want, it's easy to lose sight of what matters.<br /><br />Then again, all those things that matter can pile up and create an avalanche of stresses and feelings and obstacles to accomplishment and positivity. The weight of the world, and all of that. So, I let myself have my feelings in the moment, but I try not to dwell in negative ones. I use outside stimulus to break bad moods, and it often takes very little time or distraction to do so.<br /><br />Second strategy:&nbsp;<b>HAVE A LAUGH, or at least a real smile</b><br /><b><br /></b>I could pretend I'm a super-altruist and say that it's often charity work* or some other lovely human pursuit that makes the world's pain manageable again, but more often it's something silly, largely meaningless and transitory; a stand-up comedian's rant watched on Netflix; compilations of cute animals on YouTube; a nice sugar-free raspberry latte; something ridiculous my dog does.<br /><br />It's simple, but entirely effective. Laughter breaks negative moods, and makes it easier to get out of the self-absorption that really creates (at least my) bad feelings and negativity.<br /><br />As Sloan says to Cameron in <i>Ferris Bueller's Day Off: </i>sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo.<br />It's going to be hard sometimes, and we all get overwhelmed. Maybe the darkness is in ourselves, or reaches a saturation in the world that permeates our consciousness for a while. Maybe a student has a terrible day or experience and it spreads over into our lives. &nbsp;Other times, it's just been a long week. Whatever the reason, we all get to that place.<br /><br />And right now, I'm about to demonstrate the third (because: rule of three) and final strategy for maintaining positive/negative balance:&nbsp;<b>TAKE A BREAK</b><br /><br />At the end of the day, we are all fighting highly specific versions of the same human battles. Sometimes, we just need to set down the shield and sword for a while and go for a walk in the sun. Lucky are we who can do so. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is nothing. So here's to a happy holiday weekend, full of a lot of whatever brings a little light into everyone's individual darkness.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*Note: Charity work is great, and I have done some, and it does make everything feel a little better. It is, however, more of a mixed bag of feels, and not as readily accessible as a latte. Also, I am a terrible person.Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-43038366155243235462015-01-24T09:36:00.000-08:002015-02-13T15:01:31.433-08:00Renewal Recipes & Danger Zones<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/d4d/f3b/ed7/resized/archer-danger-zone-meme-generator-welcome-to-the-danger-zone-fd8e39.jpg" /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">This week's prompt asks us to think about renewal, and something that we intend to implement this semester. For me, the biggest change is that I'm going to start teaching some episodes of television as source text for critical analysis.&nbsp;</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">As Archer would say: So, it's come to this.</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">(Actually, in the spirit of <i>Archer</i>, I've just always really liked that line.)&nbsp;</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br />It's funny, because I've been teaching composition and critical analysis for fifteen years now, and I don't think that I have taught an episode of television more than a handful of times. What's funny about this is that I have actually published more academic scholarship on television than on any other medium. Why haven't I been teaching it? Is my need for approval and ingrained impostor syndrome really <i>that</i>&nbsp;deep?</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">So, I'm finally getting brave. I have two sections of English 116 this section, for the first time in a few years. I usually teach a few films, and then some written texts--a mix of poetry and narrative. This semester, in keeping with the 50-minute sessions, I'm going to open with some television episodes, and then move on to Kurt Vonnegut short stories.&nbsp;</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">I love television as a text. It's accessible, familiar and easy to talk about for students. It's also complex, driven by writers, frequently subversive of censors and cultural norms, and immediately reactive to and participating in narrating the events of the day. It's temporally specific and universal at once. Students have deeply formed opinions and emotions about it, which makes it a great road into the lessons of "get over yourself" that are such a part of critical analysis.&nbsp;</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">We will watch an episode on Monday, talk about it on Wednesday, and write about it on Friday. I will step-ladder the analysis from basic evaluation of success, to structure, to layers of meaning, to interpretive message, and finally to critical evaluation of message. This should take about a month, or roughly five episodes.</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">So, that's my plan to keep it interesting, for me and for students. I'm swapping out film for TV, and will keep you all posted on how that analysis develops. I'm also collecting potential episodes, so I'll leave a list of episodes currently in contention, and if you have any suggestions, please share. If you have any thoughts about TV in the classroom, I'm very happy to hear them. I'm screening lots of things and narrowing it down still. I love this feeling--like new things are going to happen. It makes me excited about starting again, and from what the students have suggested, they are looking forward to it also.</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">Current contenders:</div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"></div><ul><li><i>Archer</i>, "Diversity Hire" (satire of both structural inequity and bureaucratic amelioration efforts)</li><li><i>Dollhouse</i>, "Man on the Street" (urban legends in journalism, and ethical issues galore)</li><li><i>South Park</i>, "Cherokee Hair Tampons" (satire of eco-marketing, cultural appropriation, and the ironies of tribal/U.S. relations)</li><li><i>Firefly</i>, "Jaynestown" (examines the gap between myth and reality, and asks which matters more, and for what audiences)</li><li><i>The Newsroom</i>, "The Greater Fool" (what are the obligations of news media? How does one measure individual conscience against economic and social duty?)</li><li><i>Scrubs</i>, "My Own Personal Jesus" (faith/science in a hospital, personal crisis of faith, the perception of the miraculous)</li><li><i>Parks and Recreation</i>, "Sister City" (satire of condescending diplomatic delegations, awkward international PR stunts, and ideological enmity)</li><li><i>Bones</i>, "The Pain in the Heart" (argues that logic without morality leads to evil actions; raises ethical questions about justice, collusion, and legal culpability)</li></ul><br /><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></div><br />Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-62735320636936397902014-12-19T12:16:00.000-08:002014-12-19T12:17:39.075-08:00The Best/Worst End of Semester StoriesThis will be a short post with no real accessories, as I am just trying to get one in before I get lapped by the final semester's post. The second week's prompt was the end-of-semester horror story.<br /><br />Now, like everyone, I've got a cache full of awful stories. A quick bullet-point-list:<br /><br /><ul><li>There's the young man who left threatening messages on my car, physically blocked me into an office and indirectly threatened my life, while filling me in on his ongoing accessory-to-murder trial.&nbsp;</li><li>There's that young woman who called me a Nazi and stalked out of the final meeting.</li><li>There was that strange man who reported to my superiors that he couldn't learn from me because I was "goth." This oddball claim was based on my fondness for black clothes. He reported it to my superiors who were, on that day, also all in black.&nbsp;</li><li>There have been all those who go missing at the halfway point, and then turn back up the final week, angry that they cannot drop and are not longer able to pass the class.</li><li>There are all the many students who turn in half of a final paper, or less, and then complain that they didn't pass and it's all so terribly UNFAIR.</li></ul><div>You know, the usual.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, this semester, I think the worst of it has really been me. I've been having one of the most absurdly complex semesters I can imagine. At the start of the term, my best friend of several decades died at 40. In September, I delivered a project to the city government--a first for me, and one which ate up my energy and attention for weeks. In October, I was hit by a car while running my dog. A few weeks later, my sister eloped with a man none of us knew, and who we later learned has both cancer and two strikes. Then, my mother died. That was two weeks ago.</div><div><br /></div><div>To say I've been distracted would be kind.</div><div><br /></div><div>In this case, I think that the nightmare scenario is just having life go haywire, and trying to do my job. I want to be here for my students; I want to provide them with guidance, information, and a safe space in which to build their skills and find their voices.</div><div><br /></div><div>I also just want a damn nap, and maybe a few margaritas. Finding balance is a struggle.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>I do not currently have the answers. I have never had the answer to the awful-student question, other than commiseration and frequent low-level ingestion of fermented grapes (or agave). But, in lieu of answer, I offer you one more worst-case-scenario:</div><div><br /></div><div>Yesterday, one of my students informed me that they couldn't complete their final paper because they couldn't reach out to me or seek any assistance or do any work on it because they were...wait for it...too upset about my mother's death.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think that one is my new horror story. It even beats the indirect death threat for "NO YOU DIDN'T" factor.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy holidays, everyone. Maybe next year, we'll all be brilliant, our students will all be highly prepared and eagerly involved, and we'll get pay raises commensurate with what any of us could make as bartenders. I think I'll prepare for it by making some margaritas.</div>Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613355799684732274.post-62406699709267471232014-12-01T14:59:00.002-08:002014-12-01T15:04:23.198-08:00Paradise's Price: Making it to BreakThis week's adventure in teaching: trying not to kill myself or others at the end of the term.<br /><br />Wait, if you're not a teacher and so don't know just how true that really is (and, importantly, isn't) that sounds bad, and also like I might need to be followed around with a syringe full of Thorazine. Let me try again.<br /><br />This week's blogging topic is strategies for avoiding the typical end-of-semester boredom, depression, stress, and decline in productivity. There, that's better. Sure, it still sounds awful (which it is), but at least it no longer sounds certifiable.<br /><br />In short, I do not have a good answer to this problem. Or at least, I have not yet found a way to avoid a feeling of drag at the end of the semester. I feel it. My students feel it. The semester begins with fresh pages and faces, big ideas and plans, and boundless energy. The process of actual learning waxes and wanes over the weeks. We all enter the final lap with a collective groan and simultaneous burst of productivity bordering on frenzy.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mMYmNQ0jJ7Q/VHzlCCBrEnI/AAAAAAAAAHM/RL-e5fMfRcI/s1600/frenzied-mom-350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mMYmNQ0jJ7Q/VHzlCCBrEnI/AAAAAAAAAHM/RL-e5fMfRcI/s1600/frenzied-mom-350.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then it's over, and they leave, and I recharge. Then it starts again. In some ways, I appreciate the ebb and flow of energy and enthusiasm. I like that I can share it with my students, that we're experiencing the same natural cycle of the academic year. I have been in school on one side of the desk or another (and sometimes both) for all but six years of my life. The academic calendar and its patterns are <u>my</u>&nbsp;patterns.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, that's my first strategy: <u style="font-weight: bold;">embrace the frenzy</u>. For me, this means that I talk to my students about the end of semester crunch. We commiserate, and joke, and break the tension. I chat and complain with the other adjuncts in between grading sessions and panicky student drop-ins, and the sense of community and shared experience reminds me that the work will get done, as it always does. I stack the papers high and enjoy the feeling of peeling the next one off the stack. I pile my research up and use it as a footstool, just to show it who's boss. I get into it, as best I can, physically and mentally.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-G8TKDOJ3000/VHzqj8fnFSI/AAAAAAAAAHc/SmgYyEHfSSQ/s1600/simplify.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-G8TKDOJ3000/VHzqj8fnFSI/AAAAAAAAAHc/SmgYyEHfSSQ/s1600/simplify.png" height="320" width="274" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All work and no play makes Renee a homicidal joy! Wait, no, that's not right. There are real limits to how long the crunch is fun and when it stops being fun, productivity and mood both plummet. Which leads to the next strategy:&nbsp;<u style="font-weight: bold;">simplify everything</u>. I create rubrics for grading the major assignments which include checklists bolstered by areas to add comments, simplifying the grading process for projects. In class, I cut down on new ideas, cycling back to ones that didn't reach everyone the first time and interjecting review of old material for the end. At home, I cook simpler meals, reduce hobby time, and set aside personal and professional development projects for a few weeks.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bvCmpVPy1cM/VHzscjnCRkI/AAAAAAAAAHo/DdroU_4sfG4/s1600/woman-and-dog-walking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bvCmpVPy1cM/VHzscjnCRkI/AAAAAAAAAHo/DdroU_4sfG4/s1600/woman-and-dog-walking.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But, that can start to feel like a trap. When life is streamlined down to a cycle of work/food/hygiene/sleep/repeat, the sheer repetition can become crushing. So, I <u style="font-weight: bold;">go for walks</u>. &nbsp;I have a dog, so I get to give myself points for being a good pet owner by giving him attention and exercise, which makes me feel productive even when I'm taking a bit of time for myself. More importantly, the walk itself provides a break while simultaneously offering tremendous benefit.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I stretch my legs, work the kinks out of my back and hands, increase my metabolism and blood flow, and break up the monotony of grading. But, because I'm still thinking about the work when I start out, I mull over lesson plans, that day's classes, and course development ideas until my mind starts to drift. That's when I know I'm relaxing. And, when I get back, all that increased blood flow has usually cleared my head, opened my creativity, and restored my focus.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XpMseoVMCA0/VHzu8hoQLEI/AAAAAAAAAH0/3I-b0OKFHzk/s1600/stack%2Bto%2Bgrade.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XpMseoVMCA0/VHzu8hoQLEI/AAAAAAAAAH0/3I-b0OKFHzk/s1600/stack%2Bto%2Bgrade.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When, despite my best efforts and the support of my partner, friends, colleagues, and equally-beset students doesn't fully alleviate the anxiety I tend to fall back into the perennial fear of failure. More than the long hours and heavy work load that comes from being a seasonal (adjunct) employee in a seasonally-cyclic profession, it's this fear that can lead to my being a Negative Nee.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For this, I have only two solutions that really help. The first is: <u style="font-weight: bold;">do the work</u>.&nbsp;&nbsp;Procrastination is always a temptation, but the work will still have to be done. I try to remind myself of this. Sometimes I succeed. But, when it gets tight, I just put my head down and work. The hours pass, the papers get graded. Tomorrow comes.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EFbph_NmCVw/VHzyE0o_UkI/AAAAAAAAAIA/CFrS1uEjC74/s1600/walk-away-or-try-harder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EFbph_NmCVw/VHzyE0o_UkI/AAAAAAAAAIA/CFrS1uEjC74/s1600/walk-away-or-try-harder.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The fall-back, final effort is this: <u style="font-weight: bold;">walk away</u>. I try to set manageable goals. When I meet them, I can be done for the day and feel good about my progress. Then I let myself be done. No matter how much must be done, sometimes I think we all hit the wall and it's just OVER. And, I've learned, that's fine. Sometimes, I reach the end of what I can do, not forever, but definitely for now. When that time comes, it's best to leave off and do something else. The work will be there again in an hour, or a day, when I find my mojo again.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Until then, there's always Facebook...</div>Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02522903100675831348noreply@blogger.com1