I wanted to share this post from my Facebook page. How do your perceptions of others cloud your judgement?

Here’s a plain and simple truth for your reflection time…

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” -Wayne Dyer

It’s true. Judgments are veiled ignorance. Ignorance is the misconception of the Truth. When you judge another, you are making assumptions based on your own preconceived notions, and that in turn is really just your own reflection. We often misjudge people because we don’t want to see the Truth of their being. Often, it’s too hard to admit we’re wrong, so we make up all these stories about that person, what they are thinking, doing, etc. In situations like this, I’ve found it’s more powerful to stop, give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and see the situation from another point of view.[Read more…]

I just got back this weekend from a two week vacation in St. Maarten/St. Martin. It was quite the surprise trip since my husband I just returned from our honeymoon in Italy at the end of June. But his family decided to go and we were able to work it out to go with them. Considering I haven’t had a real vacation in over five years (some of my most difficult years in my life to date in fact), it seemed that I should take full advantage of this opportunity, let go and relax.

on a nature hike

Leaving for so long after just taking so much time off gave me pause. About the time I left I was just starting to find my groove with regards to classes and projects. I thought to keep up, I’ll work a bit on vacation, write some, formulate some plans dancing in my head, practice, keep up with email, whatever it took not to loose my momentum. We’ll have wifi, it will be fine. A little bit each day goes a long way. Well, low and behold, our internet connection was very spotty and there were so many family activities planned, I had no time to “check-in.” So after a few days of trying, I gave in to the message I was getting from the Universe and stayed away from the computer.

That was until the second week when I knew some deadlines were coming up and I was feeling out of sorts and a little too disconnected. So, I found a few minutes to log on, check email, gchat with a friend, and guess what? I felt better. “Checking-in” made me feel more at home because I realized that I like to work, especially when it’s the work I love doing. I have been working so hard to finally be able to do what I’m passionate about, so taking a few moments to check-in felt good to me. After this realization, I didn’t feel bad about taking the time anymore and I made sure to find time the rest of the trip to check on things daily. This is what I need to do to feel balanced.

With practice we learn to bring things into balance. You must have balance if you want to achieve your goals, otherwise, things get all screwy and out of whack and your results will most likely not be what you intended. So, if checking in on the rest of my life throughout a vacation is going to give me the balance I need, then I need to do it. Then all of this must happen without judgement, because yes, at first I felt bad about myself that I couldn’t just relax, let go and completely disconnect. But after caving, I realized, that it’s something I need in order to feel balanced in my day. One or two days may be okay, but a full two weeks doesn’t work for me. It’s not that I am worried I’ll miss anything, but instead a reminder to enjoy what I’m doing even more because I’ve been working this hard to get here. Plus, I’m excited about what’s coming down the road, how could I NOT check-in on it?

paddle boarding

Don’t get me wrong…we had a fantastic time…boat trips to Anguilla, paddle boarding (for the first time!), a day trip to St. Barth, swimming and snorkeling in the clearest waters I’ve ever seen, and so much more! I loved spending time with my new family and getting to know them better. Enjoying in their stories and jokes and opening up to share a few of my own. Yes, it was hard at times, specifically around meals where most places do not cater to vegetarians, but I did my best and made sure I was getting the balance I needed.

As much as the vacation was fun, I have never been happier to be home. I missed my dog, I missed my routine and really, I missed being able to connect with my friends and family. I’m so happy to be back in VA and ready to take on the Fall. Sure, vacation is awesome and we should make time to get away when we can, but for me there’s no place like home.

Do you feel the need to stay connected when you’re away? How do you bring balance to your family vacations?

A few months ago I read this post on MindBodyGreen online. I generally enjoy the articles they put out and was intrigued by the title, curious what one considers a “red flag” for a Pilates or yoga teacher. I wish I hadn’t read the article. Beyond being overly opinionated and one-sided, it reeks of judgement. I was even more alarmed to see that a fellow yoga teacher wrote it. My heart sank. If other yoga teachers are out there judging and slamming others ability, then how and what are we teaching as the practice of yoga? Apparently others felt the same way as I did and if you read the comments, you see the author is quick to defend her words as “bringing awareness to teaching.” In the end I honestly think she meant well, but I consider this article to be in line with a bevy of other voices screaming for attention at this same time. It came out around the time of the “How Yoga Wrecks the Body” hubbub and we all know how I felt about that.To tell you the truth, it is articles like these that left me seriously considering whether I wanted to be part of the yoga blogging world much longer.

I had put the article out of my mind, but this all came up because last week I started teaching a new morning class and I was having one of those days where my right was my left and my hand was my foot–meaning, I was messing up my words from time to time. It happens. It wasn’t really that bad and I was quick to realize that I had made a mistake. For whatever reason, a long time student felt the need to correct me, even though every one in the class was doing the pose with ease. It can be a little unsettling when this happens because there’s a difference when the correction is playful and when it’s just mean. What sort of expectation is it that your teacher will never make a mistake or have a day when things get a little confused? Sounds crazy to me. In case you hadn’t noticed, your yoga teacher is human too.

And that’s where this article came to mind. For a split second I actually entertained the thought that I may have sent a “red flag” to the students…and then, I realized that was ridiculous and I moved on. Why is it okay to expect your teacher to never mess up and hold them to some higher standard than your or the rest of your peers? How are you practicing your yoga when you criticize rather than lead from a place of compassion and understanding? I can let it go because I know that making a mistake is no big deal. In fact, it’s when the teacher makes a mistake that I remember I can make mistakes too and maybe I’m not so hard on myself. Just last week, I watched as Sri Dharma Mittra fall off his platform during Dancer pose (Natarajasana). Did he get upset? Nope, he just laughed it off and kept right on going!

I wish more people would put their practice into action rather than their egos. People have bad days, everyone has a different teaching method and even more, mistakes happen. Instead of letting yourself get ruffled by a teacher’s mistakes, stop and bring awareness to why you feel compelled to judge. This is where practice begins.

For what it’s worth, I believe a good yoga teacher is not the one that makes you sweat the hardest or proclaims to have all of the answers, but rather, the one that gently and humbly guides you through your practice and your “stuff” in order to dismember the ego. I understand that not everyone may feel the same way and may need something different from their practice, so that is why it’s important to have a variety of skilled and able yoga teachers available for students to meet them on their journey. But that’s just my opinion.

For the record, since this article in January, MindBodyGreen online has posted a lot of well written articles that put teaching in a more positive light. Many thanks for sharing a variety of opinions on the matter!

In the interest on honesty I have to admit that I’ve been a little challenged this week when it’s come to some emotional subjects. I’d like to think the full moon on Tuesday had something to do with it, but I’m not sure that’s entirely the case. I acknowledge that I am a sensitive person and as such I really work hard to temper my emotions. But this week, it was as if I could feel myself getting agitated and upset and knew the slippery slope ahead of me, but instead of walking away and taking a few extra deep breaths (because the deep breaths were certainly happening I just needed more) I stayed with the emotional upheaval…in a kind, compassionate way of course.

On the other hand, there were other situations this week where I was able to tap in to my breath, stay grounded and push forward with faith and optimism. When the daunting stories and negative self-talk started to bubble up, I quickly turned it around with kind, nurturing words rather than the battering onslaught of negativity that sometimes prevails. I’m happy with the progress there.

But then again, I’m happy with the progress in the first situation as well. Yes, the first is not ideal and certainly by now you would think I’d have a grip on certain emotional triggers, but you know what…here’s a big secret…I’m human and not perfect and can’t always expect myself to make the best choices or temper the right reaction. I can however, continue to work towards a faster “recovery time” and work on managing these situations one day at a time. In fact, I’m more proud of myself for going through that emotional and stressful situation and coming out on the other side with a little more clarity and learning something. I’m completely humbled by that experience, but won’t allow me to beat up on me. This is part of the learning process and practice after all, isn’t it?

What I’m trying to say is that no matter how long you practice, there will still be situations where you may not react in a way that is completely ideal and that’s okay. However, the lesson you walk away with and that little extra bit of clarity that makes all of the difference. Have you ever found yourself saying “why does this keep happening to me?” Well, here’s my thought on this…perhaps the same situations or patterns keep arising because we’re not learning and growing from the situation at hand. These are our karmas after all. The next time you find yourself saying this, stop and try to see the situation in a different light and you may find your true Self moving you in another direction.

My head is spinning. Is yours? Seems to me there’s a lot of noise these days in the yoga world over, I dunno, just about everything. From not enough care in class, to puffed up egos, to objectifying women, and questioning the merits of teachers, the list goes on and on. For the past few weeks, it seems like there’s something new every day. Personally, I think there’s way too much talk and not enough practice.

I really cannot understand what all the big deal is about. It’s not like the practice of yoga has not been on the rise for a while now. It’s not like it just came out of the blue and smacked us all on the ass and asked us to take notice. And we all know that popular movements often take the heat of scrutiny. Seems like people don’t know where to funnel their frustration, so their turning it on yoga.

Most of the articles I’ve read lately are completely one-sided and unless you’ve got the balls to stand up for yourself and do so, much like Glenn Black, David Regelin and Briohny Kate-Smyth via Kathryn Buding, you are bound to get lost in the fold. [Read the articles above if you have no idea of what I’m talking about or need a refresher].

What surprises me most is how easily the yoga community is ready to judge others based on what they read, rather than what they experience. It begs the question, are you practicing your yoga at all?

Through the practice of yoga we learn to be more compassionate and less judgmental of others. If you’ve taken the time to read any of this banter, then you’d see that a good portion of what anyone is writing is completely harsh, bashing, and one-sided. Add in all of the personal comments and it just feels gross. Since when do we criticize others for their personal reasons for coming to class? Is it not enough that people want to move, breath and feel good? Why can’t that be reason enough? Do you remember why you stepped on your mat the first time you came to class or did you forget? Shouldn’t good teachers take an experience, whether it is ego-centric or not, and take it a little deeper so that students start to understand how loving and appreciating themselves can help them become more loving and and appreciative towards others? I would hope so at least. Kaitlin Quistgaard, editor in chief of Yoga Journal, summed it up in her article for the New York Times: “the beauty of this rich and multilayered practice is that it meets each of you where you are, without judgment.” Well said! Each one of us has our own experience and unique journey to follow. There is no right or wrong way, there is only practice. Practice and listen to your body so you don’t wreck your body. Practice and calm your mind so you no longer attach to having to nail that headstand if it kills you. Practice and control your emotions so you don’t shortsightedly bash other people for their beliefs, but instead start to cultivate compassion and understand where they come from. Practice and learn to be kind to yourself so you learn to be kind to others. Forget what everyone else is saying and doing. Practice, practice, practice and as Sri. K. Pattahbi Jois said “all is coming.”

I shared this piece with a good friend and fellow yogi before posting. I wanted to air it out to make sure I wasn’t about to set myself up for disaster. She pointed out that anyone that has a dedicated practice for years and years can’t be completely dead inside. Meaning that at some point they’ve touched their soul through their experience with yoga and hopefully (fingers crossed here) are better equipped to navigate through all of the chatter, not only in the media, but also in their minds.

I love that. As you deepen your practice, you are transformed and the ego becomes more of a playmate rather than an enemy while you work through your karmas. You learn that putting your leg behind your head is not a requirement for enlightenment. Rather, learning to be still long enough to quiet the mind, listen, and let go so that you can touch your divine true nature takes time, dedication, and above all trust in the process and practice of yoga.

What are your thoughts on the recent articles criticizing the yoga practice? Do you think the conversation is necessary or completely overblown?

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