Marching

January 23, 2017

I’ve written a bit since I was last here. Not much, really. But a few things that were “ready” to post but weren’t. Because I wasn’t. Now, it’s time to jump in.

I’ve felt a whole lot in the last few months and many of my feelings involve those uncomfortable human emotions. Anxious, unmotivated, restless. I’ve talked with my tribe about this a lot and, it seems I’m not alone. Is it January, the grey skies, the post-holiday sloggish pace? Probably. Definitely: it’s the new president of our country.

I’m tired. I don’t want to talk about it here. I don’t want another email from someone telling me that they really like me better when I write about mothering, skiing, pie and thrifting – when I avoid politics. Or a comment that bosses me around, telling me I need to accept and move on…because, seriously — no matter how we might disagree — when is it ever a good choice (or positive model for our children) to shrug our shoulders at injustice and hate and skip off to make soup like Ah dangit! There’s always next time!

If by “accept” you mean not be in denial, then ok. I accept. If by “move on” you mean take the lead on initiatives that protect vulnerable people and places, then I will move on. I will not underrate my strength and ability. I hope my president proves my fears wrong. And, I will work hard to protect the public lands in our country, our schools, reproductive rights, our neighbors — all of them no matter what demographic boxes they check on enrollment forms.

I’ve felt nervous to weigh in publicly about certain issues because…Am I saying right thing? Am I offending somebody? Am I not sensitive enough? Am I too sensitive? But then I had this movement within my own brain sometime between the hours of 2 and 5am a few nights ago. I just need to say it, trusting my heart and its intention and all the potential “unfollows” that follow. So:

Black Lives Matter.

Native American Lives Matter.

Betsy DeVos will not serve children well as Secretary of Education. Her hearing was absolutely mind-blowingly uninformed and scary. And this is coming from a person who lives in a state with grizzly bears. Please call your senators and weigh in. It literally takes 5 minutes.

I am a fourth generation Montanan and I am a child of immigrants, just like everyone else whose ancestors came here from elsewhere.

I think all humans deserve health care and education and clean water.

I dislike when politicians wrap up speeches with “May God bless America” like we are the only ones to ask their God to focus on. How about “May your God and mine bless every country, human, animal, piece of this earth, spec of this universe.”

I am deeply concerned about the future of our environment right now. Scott Pruitt does not seem to care about protecting it and his refusal to believe facts about climate change make him an inappropriate candidate for the EPA administrator. Please call your senators and weigh in. It literally takes 5 minutes.

We budget a lot money for health insurance. It’s hard. Our Bronze Level has never covered a thing for our family; we fall in a middle class gap where we make too much money for helpful assistance and we don’t make enough money to buy anything that pays for anything other that the $11,000 catastrophic bill. We are in the purgatory and we’ve felt frustrated a lot. But we pay in every month. Because we want to be a part of the change for everyone and it will take time. We pay in to help a broken system that needs fixing.

I am motivated to work with organizations fighting for better, safer, more restrictive gun laws in our country.

I’ve voted in five presidential elections and I’ve felt disappointed in results before. This is different. We are in a pivotal, important moment in our young country’s story. I’m paying attention. When this chapter is written, I know how I want my character’s arc to unfold.

I wasn’t going to go to my state’s march in Helena. Well, I was going to go but then I talked myself out of it, thinking I’d rather be with my family and that I wasn’t sure it was the best use of my time, energy and desire to do good things. It was true that I’d rather stay home. And, for me, it was safe in a way that felt like a distraction, which is why it never felt right.

My friend Grace Decker said she was going even though she didn’t want to. I asked for more insight. She wrote:

People are marching all over the globe. I hope it is a stunning display of solidarity. I want it to be a massive slap in the face. The biggest, most international, protest march ever. Un- ignorable. Not just a few whiners, which is what the right tries to label resisters. And if I want that, well, I should really be there.

And that was it for me. The kernel of wisdom I’d waited for all day as I was lost between staring at the ground and the sky.

And if I want that, well, I should really be there.

It was 7 degrees when my friends and I left Missoula. Our state capital was expecting 3000-5000 marchers and I felt the energy the moment we pulled into the line of cars, leading with their hearts east on I-90.

People were marching for their own reasons but the overarching movement was one in support of kindness, inclusion, science, environment, human rights for all humans. 10,000 people showed up.

It was cold and the sun shined bright. We stomped though more than a foot of snow to reach the capital building where we stood together and caught one another’s determination and potential. It was peaceful, hopeful and important. I am so glad I went.

I know there are those reading here who disagree with things I believe. I welcome you. I want to know your values and how you want to affect positive change in our world. As long your ideas and approach are not hateful or destructive, I will give you the same curiosity and respect. Let’s have a conversation. Let’s get shit done. Yes We Can Because We Are Stronger Together.

73 Comments

Lucy HT

January 23, 2017 at 11:38 AM

I am a long term reader of your blog, but have rarely commented. I live in the UK, where we have watched events unfold in your country with horrified astonishment, My Facebook feed has been full this weekend of friends marching in London, all over the UK, Washington DC, New York, France, and even a friend who used to work in Antarctica and whose colleagues marched there. Take courage – you are not alone. You are not alone.

I so feel the unrest in my body, my mind…I pace…I find myself on the verge of tears ALL the time…I am angry…I am determined to do…I have already began and I will be watching.

xoxo

Ariel

January 23, 2017 at 12:01 PM

Doubling down on following you. Thank you for this post, thank you for your voice, thank you for your commitment to action. Keep being true to yourself and to what you believe – that’s the only way we can find happiness and – most importantly – purpose in our lives.

Our voices in these red states are as important as they get. So here’s a cheer and a hug from a virtual friend in Boise, Idaho who echoes your sentiments. Don’t give up hope! If that arc of the moral universe is going to bend, it needs people like you, and me, and everyone we know to help it bow.

Mary

January 23, 2017 at 12:49 PM

So with you, felt everything you said deeply. Am trying hard to sustain my part. Will not give up. Holding hands in spirit.

Like you, I was on the fence. I couldn’t even tell you what pushed me over the edge (a lot of little things added together) but I was so glad I went. I feel more hopeful than I have in three months, and I feel ready to get to work. Good on you for braving the cold, though! It was 50 degree here in Kansas. Standing outside when it’s only 7 is hardcore!

MC Brown

January 23, 2017 at 1:09 PM

Thank you! Your words beautifully summarize what so many of us are feeling. You spoke directly to my heart and brought tears to my eyes as I nodded and said, “exactly” while reading along. We will not give up…something good has to come from this debacle.

Carrie

January 23, 2017 at 1:29 PM

Beautifully said!

I am having a hard time reading blog posts about recipes or home decor when our friends, neighbors and planet are in danger. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt but can’t help feeling like those bloggers either have no interest in what is going on or are more concerned with followers than in doing what is right. I respect and appreciate your thoughts!

I marched with 175,000 marchers–and my neighbors, partner and two daughters– in Boston. It took 4 hours to get there, despite our home being only 15 miles away, because of the packed trains overwhelming the metro system. It was an experience that none of us will ever forget! We returned inspired and ready to make a difference in ways both big and small.

The ray of light shining through this darkness is the coming together of so many diverse groups to work for positive change. I feel honored to be a part of the movement!

I know what you mean but I think we need both, really. There are big things happening that need our attention and there are little things that need our attention. While I appreciate and seek out pieces that make me think and I felt compelled to express myself here, I also appreciate light content about recipes etc. You know? I need that too. Also: I know people who choose not to engage in the social media arena about this election but they are super active and vocal in their daily lives.

Your march sounds incredibly moving! Igniting inspiration is what it’s all about. <3

Yes. You copy and pasted my thoughts and then edited them into a beautiful blog post. I am with you on it all… forever and always. We will not shrug. We will show up even when we don’t want to. And we will call… it literally only takes five minutes. xo

Caroline L.

January 23, 2017 at 1:40 PM

Those who believe that questioning our beliefs and values can give us pause for valuable reflection, and rich opportunity for growth, will stand by you. Those who believe that we are created differently for a reason, and that our differences make us stronger, will stand by you. Those who believe that there are many spiritual paths to the same true Love (see previous statement) will stand by you. Those who value courage and transparency will stand by you. Those who believe that raising our voice is an important way to show appreciation for our gifts and privileges will stand by you. Those who believe that critical feedback is a welcome part of the process to improvement will stand by you. Focus on those people; they are yours. I will always stand by you, for I am privileged to know your compassionate, loving, accepting, brave, creative, smart and humble heart. Keep shining your light!!!

Jenni

January 23, 2017 at 1:58 PM

YES!! I needed this today. I couldn’t agree more with every word. I live in a community that celebrates the results of this past election and it heals my heart to know there are more of us that feel this way. Thank you!!

Jen

January 23, 2017 at 1:58 PM

So many of your points above are how I feel, especially about “God Bless America.” The March was an amazing, powerful experience! I am determined to make my voice heard like never before, and glad that so many of us are feeling the seeds of upward activism.

I’m so proud of all of the women that spent their weekend standing up for what is human, what matters and what is right. I love you, I love what you stand for, I am thankful to call you my friend and I know that I can always turn to you for a non-judgmental take on anything. This is big, bigger than one. I’m glad you marched, you’ll never regret it, you’ll look back for the rest of your life and be glad you took a stand. I know telling your readers where you stand wasn’t easy for you. I find myself keeping my opinions from my family, and people that I know have different opinions than I do, just so I don’t rock the boat. Thanks for rocking the boat, and letting so many know it is okay to do the same. xo

I agree wholeheartedly. It’s too late to pretend we’re not all connected.

“I dislike when politicians wrap up speeches with “May God bless America” like we are the only ones to ask their God to focus on. How about “May your God and mine bless every country, human, animal, piece of this earth, spec of this universe.”

Diane

January 24, 2017 at 7:22 AM

White lives matter too. Unborn lives matter. ALL LIFE MATTERS. I have been scared for years what has been happening to our country. I don’t want Sharia law here. I don’t want Isis training camps. If you don’t think they are here, read up. That should scare anyone! The people who spoke at the march sounds like complete idiots. We are the most blessed country in the world, and women dressed up as vaginas and paraded around. Obama has been Pres for last 8 years. Yes, give Trump a chance. I voted for him along with many more. He’s crude, yes. He’s not a polished politician. They talk. Trump’s recording talking about grabbing p….. If you listen or read it, he said “they let you do anything”. THAT speaks volumes about the self esteem of women. We can also look at Hollyweird for many examples of women who act like sluts, but think Trump is supposed to be a gentleman always. We gave Bill Clinton a pass on all the women he had and put his wife up for Pres who defended his actions and tore the women down. I’m sick of women wanting it both ways. Imagine what could be done for women if we DID something to help; serve at a women’s shelter, go out and help women who actually need it. Ashley Judd can’t pay taxes on tampins and bleeds all over her sheets? Get a hysterectomy.! There are women in other countries who use rags and leaves for their period. I’m proud to be a woman! I think for myself. Have you hesrd the woman who wants to lead the DNC say it will be her job to shut white women down if they have anything to say. Are you ok with that? Shutting down anyone is never the way to solve anything. Our world has gone crazy. God is the only answer. He’s had enough of us.

Jen

January 24, 2017 at 9:53 AM

Wow.

tb

January 26, 2017 at 9:40 PM

yes to this. there’s quite a few of us out here, we just don’t speak up as much…says a lot about us, I think.

Abesha1

January 29, 2017 at 8:23 PM

You are perilously close to blaming women for being sexually assaulted, in this comment. I do hope that is not what you meant.

If all life matters, can we assume you are in favor of allowing the starving people of Syria and Yemen to emigrate here to the land of plenty?

And if you think G-d is the answer, I hope he helps you when this government no longer protects YOUR right to the religion of your choice.

I choose to live my life with compassion and with open arms. No finger wagging, no telling other people their lives are worth less for whatever reason. All I see here is so much anger.

Brit girl

January 23, 2017 at 2:20 PM

I am so glad you went too. I am in the UK but know this: we are with you.

Tanya

January 23, 2017 at 2:22 PM

I didn’t make it out to our local march in Ann Arbor, MI, but I justified that by being home with my one and 5 year old daughters, while my own mama marched her butt down to D.C. and took part there. I felt like I was maybe not setting ablaze the passion in my own girls that I have for social justice, as a social worker, by not going. I wish I’d had someone push me a little harder to join in, take the girls with me, and show them why I work every day in my profession to support the people in my community, my country, our world, because we are all just that, people. With equal right to have equal rights…and sadly this wont be the last time in either of their lifetimes that we have to march on these issues…

I agree with everything you have written, so much so that I had chills down my arms and legs. I LOVE when you share this part of you. Let’s keep that dialogue going! xoxo.

Kerry

January 23, 2017 at 2:23 PM

If I could follow you everywhere all over again because of this post I would. I am off to buy my daughter another shirt to support you after posting this electronic HIGH FIVE for speaking your truth, and standing up to those who try and bury us. I saw a sign at the march the other day that has really resonated since — they tried to bury us, but we were seeds. Here’s too all the millions of seeds! <3

Yes! This. Exactly. I believe things happen for a reason. My daughters auditioned and didn’t get parts in a Missoula Children’s Theater production here in Wyoming. They were devastated. BUT. That also meant that we were cleared to March (it would have been performance day). We spent the week preparing, knitting pussyhats, talking, rounding up friends to meet there. On game day, I wasn’t in the mood. There was that part of me that just wanted to stay home. But there was something much bigger that said we MUST go. And we did. And we will keep going, because we are accepting and MOVING ON, by your definition. I also believe that Trump happened for a reason. We needed this. It was easy to simmer down when Obama was in office, but now we are FIRED UP. I strongly believe THIS will be the century for women, all over the globe; and that this roadblock of Trump will mark the end of an era. This is it. Forward! March!

Jocelyn

January 23, 2017 at 2:55 PM

I’m so happy to see this post. I had a hard time looking at instagram pictures this weekend that were not about the march. For me politics is about mothering just as much as any other influence on my son’s lives. How can I stand by and watch this administration make a mess of my son’s future or anyone else’s children. I certainly can not stand by and allow my boys to think the way the president conducts himself is behavior to look up and or emulate. Thank you for being a voice for everyone.

Susan S

January 23, 2017 at 3:10 PM

Nici, I’m not anywhere near as eloquent as you are, so I’ll share some words from Archbishop Desmond Tutu here, from the book he wrote with his daughter, Mpho Tutu. The book is called The Book of Forgiving. He and Mpho write:

“When we cannot admit our own woundedness, we cannot see the other as a wounded person who has harmed us out of his or her own ignorance, pain or brokenness. We must reject our commonality. We move along the Revenge Cycle to rejecting our shared humanity. Without this recognition of our shared humanity, the bond between us frays and the social fabric tears. It is then a very short step to demanding revenge. To buy back our dignity, we think we must pay back in kind. We retaliae. Retaliation, in turn, leads to more hurt, more harm, and more loss, which keeps the Revenge Cycle going without end. There are families, tribes and nations that have been trapped in this Revenge Cycle for generations. . . .When we can accept both our humanity and the perpetrator’s, we can write a new story, one in which we are no longer cast as a victim but as a survivor, even perhaps a hero. In this new story, we are able to learn and grow from what has happened to us. We may even be able to use our pain as an impulse to reduce the pain and suffering of others. This is when we know we are healed. Healing does not mean reversing. Healing does not mean that what happened will never again cause us to hurt. It does not mean we will never miss those who have been lost to us or that which was taken from us. Healing means that our dignity is restored and we are able to move forward in our lives.”

I think we are at the point in America–indeed globally–where we could choose the Revenge Cycle, but we need to choose the Forgiveness Cycle, acknowledge each other’s humanity and commonality and move forward for everyone’s good, even those with whom we disagree. You are a force for that, and in all the years I’ve followed you, I’ve never seen you be anything else. Carry on, Nici. I’d be standing shoulder to shoulder with you if you didn’t have so many flanking you already. 🙂 I’m with you always. Susan

Liz

January 23, 2017 at 3:18 PM

Nici-

I have read your blog since practically the beginning but I don’t know that I’ve ever commented.

You are one of the first voices I turn towards in times of difficulty and unrest. Your kindness, diligence, curiosity, and humor feel like the best salve. You feel like a friend.

I appreciate you speaking up. Being kind, curious, but truthful as well. I’m reminded of Brene Brown saying something along the lines of you know you are truly showing up and being vulnerable when you feel like you might puke if you don’t speak up. Being vulnerable is hard but so needed and so worth it.

Much love-
Liz

sarahkeith valentine

January 23, 2017 at 3:58 PM

Nici– I love love love you. Thank you for this post. We’re in the same boat health-insurance wise and it is SO hard. I agree with everything you’ve written here. Keep up the good fight– I’m standing beside you!

Carol-Anne Powell

January 23, 2017 at 4:45 PM

I am so tired of people saying “Well, he was democratically elected, so deal with it”.

I am not even an American (Canadian), but I believe this is different. This is evil and I WILL NOT BE QUIET.
(and I’m glad you aren’t either)

Jill

January 23, 2017 at 5:22 PM

I love your thoughts Nici even though I don’t agree with all of them. I do agree with choosing love. My social media feeds have been so filled with hate and nastiness. Why? What’s the point? Let’s agree to disagree and just be respectful and love each other❤

Melissa

January 23, 2017 at 6:27 PM

I’ve unfriended, unliked and unfollowed lots of people over the last few days — people with whom I disagree politically AND many with whom I agree. It all came down to how the person expressed his or her feelings — did they use hateful words and a hateful attitude, or did they, like you, express themselves strongly but kindly. Did they throw around insults, and paint everyone in a group with the same brush (as your friend Grace did with her comment about “the right”) or did they, like you, welcome dialogue. Your way will help get shit done and will give people who initially disagree with you room to reflect on your words and just maybe change their minds. Good for you!

I hear you. The name calling and making fun and I’m-right-you’re-wrong ness of all of it is exhausting. I am thankful my intention shined through. I do welcome dialog. Like, let’s think together. Let’s be more together. Let’s change each other’s minds. x

Katherine

January 23, 2017 at 7:10 PM

Thank you for your bravery and honesty! Love everything about this post.

Brooke

January 23, 2017 at 7:26 PM

Your words spoke to me so fully that I feel an instant connection to you.
I have followed you for a couple years and have loved your work, your ability to live in the moments, and your family’s active lifestyle (among other things)… and now we can add likeness in thoughts!
I took myself off Facebook a few months ago, mostly because of the political mess we call a Presidential election….and now, I couldn’t feel more free from judgement.
How can anyone be against being kind? Or equal? Or loved? It is absolutely crazy to me that the people who are telling me that they are ‘God fearing’ folks, and thinking of me as a heathen can support this man and his followers … and then I think deeper and realize that yes, it takes all kinds of kinds. And it always has.
From the bottom of my heart, I believe that love, Kindness and general goodness will someday win out all the ugliness. Until then, we must stand for what we think is right, even if it feels we are the minority.

Kelly

January 23, 2017 at 7:42 PM

Nici – I’m a long time reader and have never commented. I just want to chime in and say thank you for your words. I 100% agree with everything you wrote here and I think you’re very strong for posting it. Thank you thank you thank you! Keep it up!

Katie

January 23, 2017 at 8:02 PM

Called my senators for the first time in my life today. Marched on Saturday. I feel more powerful than the President. And let me say that again – I am more powerful than the President. We are. It takes courage to say it loud and proud. Thank you brave Nici.

Janet Schrock

January 23, 2017 at 8:07 PM

I am a grandmother in metro Detroit and I love what you say here. While I did not march on Saturday, I marched in Washington a long time ago. It was in protest of the Vietnam war and like you I had mixed feelings. I was against the war, not the soldiers who fought. I, too, was so glad I participated in the end. It made me more understanding of our world and humanity. It’s good for our children to learn and observe democracy. I hope it’s ok that I shared your writing to my Facebook page. It deserves a large audience.

Wow, I bet that was a heavy march full of all the feelings. Ultimately, for me, it felt good to just observe and listen. People in Helena were there for different reasons, some close to my heart and others not so much. I like what you say about “more understanding of our world and humanity.” That’s the wisdom I seek, always.

I’m so glad you went, and I’m so glad so many of us went! My husband and I went to the march in Sacramento and we were completely blown away to see that almost 20,000 people showed up!!! From old women (and men) to infants in their parents arms, and everyone in between…we all showed up to say NO to misogyny, to racism, to homophobia, to xenophobia…and to say YES to inclusion, to equality, to love, to education, to protecting the earth! May we all have the courage to continue to speak up and make our voices heard.

Abby

January 23, 2017 at 8:34 PM

My 69-year-old mother road a bus all night to join the march in DC. After, she got back on that bus and road all night again. I am thankful for her and every other person who stood up for what they believe that day.

I love the idea of hoodies or t-shirts that help us express our support in a respectful way. Something my daughters can wear:) I hope you will feel inspired!

Sally Bell Pierce

January 23, 2017 at 9:02 PM

Thank you for using your voice to shine a light on these issues and be a force of good in this world. It has been a dark and deeply discouraging couple of months for so many of us, but it has lifted my heart marching with and hearing from so many people like you (So. Many. People!) using their voices to call out injustice and hatred, to protect and defend our children and our environment and each other, to be courageous and encourage others’ courage. We have to keep holding each other up. Thank you!

Maria

January 23, 2017 at 9:28 PM

Never stop speaking your mind. You do it more eloquently than most. I wish I could be more like you but I am beyond worrying about offending someone. They’ve offended me by being so uninformed, so fearful, so ignorant, so against humanity that they can support a money hungry, power hungry, tyrant who is on a mission to destroy everything that America stands for. This man & his chosen cronies are dangerous. I wish I could hug every one, in every country for standing up to the likes of him & his sick, greedy & selfish plan of exclusion, intolerance, violence & hatred. #hewillneverbemypresident

Heather

January 23, 2017 at 9:31 PM

Thank you, Nici! I, like so many others, have felt drained and devastated by the events unfolding in our country. My husband and I woke up the day after the election and trudged through our day with a cloud of disappointment and fear hanging over us.. How could hate win? What do we say to our three little girls? Seeing all of the beautiful images from this weekend’s marches has been such a comfort and a reminder of the overwhelming good and decency that resides within most people.
I totally appreciate what you said about pushing past that feeling of being careful and quiet… I too, feel like I am at a point of “enough”! I would never intentionally offend another person but this is bigger than that… This, I believe, is a defining moment in our history as a nation and I am going to show my girls a mother who was unafraid to use her voice… A mother who loved them too much to sit quietly.
And yes, I love your gardening posts, etc… But THIS is why your blog resonates and inspires me!!!

Emily

January 23, 2017 at 9:50 PM

This was an amazing post! I love that you are voicing your opinions, it is so refreshing in a world where so many are afraid to stand up for what they feel is right. I marched in Helena with my 6 year old son and it was a magical experience and I am so glad I did. What it comes down to for me is I have very different values than our new president. I teach my children to never make fun of people who are different and to treat everyone they meet with kindness, love and compassion. I feel so much sadness surrounding this election, but I feel so motivated to act and to teach my kids to be kind to our earth, animals, and fellow humans.

Alli

January 23, 2017 at 9:58 PM

You took the words right out of my mouth. I marched in Denver on Saturday with my 5 year old son. I carried that 50 pound boy almost a half mile when he was cold and tired. He hugged and snuggled and laughed with fellow marchers. He held up the sign he created, rainbow fireworks! and we talked about all the love these women (and men) were spreading. We sat in a hotel lobby and watched the rest of the parade together and I can say that it was one of the most special and important mornings of my entire life. We are all in this together and I vow to try and make this place better for my children. Thank you for your words! 🙂

Alli

January 23, 2017 at 10:05 PM

You took the words right out of my mouth. I marched in Denver on Saturday with my 5 year old son. I carried that 50 pound boy almost a half mile when he was cold and tired. He hugged and snuggled and laughed with fellow marchers. He held up the sign he created, rainbow fireworks! and we talked about all the love these women (and men) were spreading. We sat in a hotel lobby and watched the rest of the parade together and I can say that it was one of the most special and important mornings of my entire life. We are all in this together and I vow to make this place better for my children. Thank you for your words! 🙂

You took the words right out of my mouth. I marched in Denver on Saturday with my 5 year old son. I carried that 50 pound boy almost a half mile when he was cold and tired. He hugged and snuggled and laughed with fellow marchers. He held up the sign he created, rainbow fireworks! and we talked about all the love these women (and men) were spreading. We sat in a hotel lobby and watched the rest of the parade together and I can say that it was one of the most special and important mornings of my entire life. We are all in this together and I vow to make this place better for my children. Thank you for your words! 🙂

Sandi

January 24, 2017 at 6:34 AM

Bravo! We are living in a scary time and as an mom, educator, and environmentalist what you said was spot on. Thank you!

Pamela Decker

January 24, 2017 at 7:07 AM

Thank you, again, for so eloquently putting into words exactly how I’ve been feeling. I’ve been re-posting so many things on Facebook – something I rarely do – I think just to feel like I have some power. Thank you to all of the women who marched for those of us who were unable to.

Susan May

January 24, 2017 at 8:05 AM

I, too, feel like you captured my thoughts and feelings perfectly. Thank you for being brave enough to speak out. United we stand and together we can remain strong. I certainly dig this chick!

I was energized by the crowd at the Capitol this weekend. Of course, Missoula was represented with big numbers. I stood on the steps and waited for Lisa Bullock and her children to bring the lead banner up Washington Street and the loudspeakers were playing a Crosby, Stills and Nash song. It boomeranged me back in time to my first political protest on the MSU campus during the Vietnam war.

Thanks for coming! As always, you are “right on”.

AMarie

January 24, 2017 at 9:34 AM

beautifully said!

Jen

January 24, 2017 at 9:51 AM

Thank you for marching. I had somewhere else very important I had to be then, and yet even with that reason I still feel unsettled that I was not at our state’s march. “If I want that, well, I should really be there.” I’m scared. But I need to find my angle, need to find some way that my introvert self can join this fight. It’s scary, but so are most things worth doing. Thank you.

I participated in my local rally on Saturday. I have been feeling sick since November, no correction, since Trump started talking. The day after the election I had to go buy Prilosec. I am a mother of 3 grown women. A grandmother of 8. A sister. A daughter. A heart sick woman. I can not understand how anyone woman could have voted for a man who has groped women, lied, cheated and so much more. I can not understand how a Christian could vote for a man who has done these things. I have tried to not make waves. No more will fear rule my voice. My husband’s boss was not happy that I marched. My husband was proud that I and our daughters did, and would have joined us if he had not been at work. I can not believe that our country has slipped backwards into a time where equality does not matter and compassion is mocked. I found hope on Saturday. I listened to women ready to lead us in protecting the young, the old, the sick, the scared, the earth, the victims and the forgotten. I offended relatives and others because I dared to publicly say “enough.”I won’t be quiet any more. Thank you for marching. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for believing in change.

Kim

January 24, 2017 at 10:32 AM

It is wonderful to see all of the positive responses here, as it was amazing to see all of the people who marched with me on Saturday (in my town and across the country and the world). The fact that people around the world are feeling our concern and outrage is heartening, but it doesn’t stop here. I have a reminder on my phone to make my periodic phone calls to my senators and congressmen (hopefully we can change that to Congresspeople in the mid-terms). I have been doing it regularly since the election and plan to continue. I have a limited income, but have made donations of what I can to the organizations fighting for us. More importantly I am planning to support local groups fighting to effect change at the state and local levels.

I have always been politically aware, but until this election I was never politically active. This has shown me the dangers of complacency. I made assumptions about the path of progress. It’s painfully clear to me now how quickly we can digress when subjected to the propaganda of fear and hate.

Thank you for your bravery in speaking up. I know it is hard with all of divisive, misinformed rhetoric out there. You have support.

A

January 24, 2017 at 11:08 AM

I’m wondering if you really want dialogue from the other side on this, because it seems that whenever a Trump supporter weighs in, the crowd jumps them with belittling and accusations of racism/all the other isms they can think of.

Not everyone supports the progressive policies the leftists promote, half of the country didn’t agree in fact. I for one disagree with all of your political leanings, but can respect that it takes all kinds of mindsets to make the world go round. But when anyone – especially a mother – stands in support for abortion, I’m out. It’s murder and an atrocity at an enormous level, yet “feminists” would rather march for rights they already have while being vulgar and crass and disgusting. (I’m glad your march was peaceful, I live in DC and this was not. So much hate and intolerance displayed among the marchers).

What did the Women’s March accomplish, other than stroking a bunch of like-minded egos? Imagine if that many women marched to the Saudi embassy in DC in opposition to that country’s oppression of women, or if all those women gathered to build homes for Habitat for Humanity. Think of the actual good that could have been done instead of parading around complaining about rights we already possess. That seems an awful lot like white privilege to me, and to about half the nation…..

And logic would say, if all of these rights women were marching for have been threatened in any way, wouldn’t that be under Obama’s watch since the country you’ve been living in for the past 8 years was under his direction??? Hmmmm, makes me scratch my head.

I think my biggest grievance with these kinds of posts is that no one typically wants to understand the other side. I just read through comments on your Facebook page and most of the commenters said they could never give him a chance, he could never prove to them that he could be a decent prez. Really?! You’ll accept that dialogue but not an opposing viewpoint? (Maybe you truly want to hear and understand, but it seems that your fellow marchers do not plan to give President Trump a chance and really do not care about America unless all of their demands have been made). It’s a weird thing to hear progressives preach about inclusivity, but demonize any opposing voice as I’ve seen in your comments…..

For me: The Women’s March wasn’t at all about stroking egos. It was about coming together, feeling heard, paying attention to each other. Our march was full of every opinion, including anti-choice folks who walked peacefully with the rest of us, voicing their opinions. It felt very patriotic to be surrounded by so many fellow citizens who care.

It’s easy to focus on the vulgar, crass and disgusting things. They’re shocking. Sometimes, shock is important. Sometimes, it’s a distraction from the guts of a thing. I ask you to also look at the majority of the marchers that were loving, smart and inspired. There was so much of that.

Lastly, I don’t see anyone name calling or demonizing on commenters?! Maybe that was a different page you saw. Not here, not on my facebook page, not on instagram. I was just telling my friend this morning how proud I am of the conversations happening on this thread and over email. If I see something unproductive, hateful or destructive, I will remove the comment.

A

January 24, 2017 at 3:25 PM

Thanks for the thoughtful response. I’ve followed you for a long time and although we are very different thinkers (evangelical here, hi!), I’ve always found you to be respectful and seemingly interested in understanding others.

I woke up thinking more about your thoughts here and I have a few things I’d like to add.

I am interested in understanding others and, you’re here, so I assume you are too. However, lumping the millions who marched into a one-size-fits-all box doesn’t feel like trying to understand. It feels condescending. People are so on-edge right now (myself included) and we need to be thoughtful with language so we don’t lose our listener. I know you get this. It is also hard to have a conversation with respect and understanding when a person says, “I’m out.” I know it’s hard when you believe SO deeply in a thing (in your case, abortion) but we HAVE to know that the other people you’re talking to also believe SO deeply. Isn’t that wild? We have to talk. We can’t just throw our hands up. We need less of that and more of “tell me more.”

For example.

The environment is the biggest thing on my mind today. I can’t fathom why people wouldn’t want to protect our public lands, why another pipeline and a few unsustainable, temp jobs are more important than clean water for our kids and grandkids and animals. Why our convenience is more important than the entire earth. I think it is incredibly smug and shortsighted to plow through holy lands to extract resources. But a lot of people think this is a smart thing to do and I am reading about that. Because if I want to really be a part of a movement to protect the environment, then I need to know about all of it. And – the most important and difficult thing – I need to be willing to change my mind; I need to be open to the facts – all of them – not just the ones that support my cause.

Thanks for this conversation. I appreciate the thinking it’s ignited in me.

Kimberly

January 24, 2017 at 12:19 PM

Thank you! I needed to read this, to not feel so helpless…. I am overwhelmed with feelings of what can I do, how is this happening, I do not want my children to see this. I haven’t even been able to wrap my head around any of it because everyday there is more. A part of me wants to turn it all off. I know that will do no good though. I marched on Saturday with my husband and my girls and thousands of people came out in our little town. It was really something. Thank you for sharing and being open. Honestly I think that is the most important thing right now, to keep sharing to keep the conversation open, to motivate others, to hold that space for solidarity for matters that are so very important. Much love xo

kim

January 24, 2017 at 1:40 PM

I just have to make one more comment related to what I have been hearing from those who voted differently then how I, and the majority of Americans voted. It is truly not a matter of “you lost, move on”. I would agree with you if a Cruz, or a Rubio or a Bush won. Sure I would have been disappointed, but I would not have been appalled. I have voted across party lines on many occasions and will likely do so in the future.

However, the person now occupying our highest office has spoken on many occasions, with cameras present, the most hateful words about a huge segment of our population. He has told outrageous lies and downright just makes stuff up. He has encouraged violence and oppression. He has not risen to the ethical standard of ANY of our previous presidents (republican and democrat alike). These are facts. Real ones.

I love informed dialogue. I have friends who disagree with me on choice, healthcare and the environment. They often have great points that make me revisit my own arguments. That is beautiful and informed debate.

To ask the majority of Americans to just sit back and watch our country be hijacked by corporate and foreign interests, well I am sorry. I value my rights and my fellow citizens rights and will not sit back and watch them dismantled. So many people that came before me fought on my behalf. I will not let their efforts be in vain. It is the most patriotic American thing to do. From the Revolution through the civil rights and Vietnam era people have taken to the streets to peacefully exercise their rights. We do not need to apologize for it.

Pam

January 25, 2017 at 7:08 AM

Thank you, Kim, for your insightful comments! You hit the nail on the head.

Daniele

January 25, 2017 at 10:35 AM

Hi Nici,
I am a long time reader of yours, you may remember me, I used to always comment “back in the day” 🙂 I have two girls the same ages as yours and your words were everything I needed throughout so many stages of motherhood when the girls were younger. You have such a gift of putting thoughts and feelings into beautiful words. I am still a reader and am leaving my first comment in a very long time to say YES to all that you wrote here. In my opinion you have always been a brave, true, writer- and I am not surprised at all to see you put this out there. Please don’t ever hesitate, you are an inspiring woman and I love to see you being true to yourself. I too have been so full of anxious feelings since election night and especially since inauguration day. We will get through this all together and I truly believe that good will come of this time. There will be movements over the next 4 years, big movements. They will be positive.

PS. I won’t wait years to comment again 🙂 xo

Ellie

January 25, 2017 at 2:03 PM

I’m with you, Nici.

Claire

January 25, 2017 at 3:26 PM

I find that too often “accept and move on” really means “shut up and sit down” which is something I’ve always been bad at. So I’m not gonna shut up and sit down, but get up and scream at the top of my lungs. Maybe if we yell loud enough someone will hear us.

Kendra

January 25, 2017 at 6:55 PM

One of your most eloquent posts. Thank you so much for these words. I think many of us are finding a courage we’ve always had and never trusted. Please write more–it is good to read your words.

Shell

January 28, 2017 at 11:57 PM

Glad to read this post and to see the smiles in the photos in Helena. While I live in Billings, I spent last weekend in San Francisco with my two sons who live there. On Saturday I marched with my older son and his husband and about 100,000 other people including many men and children and families. Women of all ages. I am 58 years old and that is the first march or event like that ive been to. It was a big deal to me. I didn’t march because I was whining (concerned, yes) but for the rights of others…LGBTQ individuals who deserve the same rights and benefits as other citizens, for women’s reproductive and access to birth control and healthcare, for diversity, for refugees, for all of those who are marginalized ….for inclusion . It was an amazing empowering and peaceful experience.

And this week, I have sent 3 emails to our state senators regarding cabinet nominations and the gag orders on some of the federal offices such as the National Park Service. I’ve always been a big supporter of education and non-profits, and regularly volunteer my time with the homeless and other marginalized groups, but this kind of activism is new for me. But I have pledged to continue. Everyday I read several reliable sources of news (not Fox obviously) to learn and then I respond and encourage others to do so.

For those like just a couple of your posters who say “give him a chance” I can say that what Trump has said and done in the weeks leading up to his inauguration was enough, but the first week of his presidency has been very troubling. It is so divisive and NOT in the best interest of all U.S. citizens. It is our responsibility to stand up and say NO when we see wrong. What is going on is not “great”, it is horrible and disgusting and not what our country was founded on.

Aimee Poole

January 29, 2017 at 2:19 PM

This is your space. YOURS. You write about what you do, what you make, what you love and things that are important to you. That’s what makes these spaces amazing and strong and special.
Anyone who wishes to change the content of YOUR space to suit them is missing the point.

Never stop writing about what you are passionate about. And I understand that for you, like a lot of people at this time, thats politics – its not warm and fluffy like skiing and cookies and sewing, but it’s on YOUR mind and therefore in integral to your space here. Also your living in a pretty shitty time right now – a political maelstrom. Anyone who thinks that isn’t going to affect these spaces is deluded.
One of the things I love most about your blog is that its not just a fluffy shiny magazine spread of life, all the reality and rough edges smoothed off to create a perfect veneer. Its real. Relatable. Truthful.

Valerie S.

January 31, 2017 at 10:13 AM

Hi Nici, I’m a long time reader, first time commenter.
I was brought up in a Republican-Conservative home. For years, I was influenced by my parents political opinions. It wasn’t until I turned 30, that I really started to have a change of heart regarding many of the views that I once agreed with. I’ll be 35 this year and I finally feel like I have a good grasp on where I stand on many issues. I’m an independent.
I too find it hard to share by ideals and beliefs with people. I worry about offending or angering friends and peers. I worry about breaking relationships with people I love. But, I think it’s important to voice my opinion at the same time and I’m trying more to do just that, as respectfully and peacefully as possible. How a person reacts is not something I can control.
I have a different political viewpoint than you do regarding some issues. Typically, I would just politely read a blog post and move on if I didn’t agree with what was written. I appreciate your post because you’ve invited those that either agree or disagree to comment & talk about our thoughts and feelings, which is a brave thing to do considering the heated emotional climate this election has brought upon us all. Thank you for inviting us to share.
I was brought up in a Pro-Life household. Although some of my political beliefs have changed over the years, my Pro-Life beliefs have not. I wrestle the most with this issue. While many women procure abortions due to the fact that they were raped or became pregnant due to insestual sex, the majority of abortions performed are due to irresponsible couples not using protection. Why is this happening? There’s a plethora of birth control options out there & most of them are low-cost or free. Why aren’t they being used? Is it an education issue? Do people not know where to go to obtain birth control? Are they afraid? Why is it coming to a point that abortions are the answer? I understand that there are slip-ups. We make mistakes. We’re human. But eliminating a life due to poor choices just feels inherently wrong to me. I’m well educated on abortions and how they are performed. It’s violent and damaging. I have friends who have chosen to abort their unwanted pregnancy. Each of them wishes that they would’ve made a different decision. They’ve all said at one point or another that if they had the choice now, they would’ve kept their pregnancy. My heart breaks for them & for the lost life. I don’t believe that killing a child and removing it from the mothers body should be legal.
Of the many issues that were addressed during the election, this is the ONLY issue that Donald Trump and I agree on.
I feel like the majority of people think that my point of view is an antiquated one. I’m always afraid to share it, feeling that I’ll be accused of being small minded, judgmental, hateful or ignorant. I’m not any of those things. I just value human life, at every stage.

I appreciated the photos and information about your march in Helena. It seems that the mainstream media chose to depict the most crass, hate-filled protesters in the news and didn’t share the messages of love, peace and hope. In the last weeks, I’ve seen many pictures of protesters holding signs, spewing vitriol and hate. It was disheartening. It’s refreshing to see that not all protests were unkind.

I believe that all lives matter. By saying this, I’m not trying to diminish the ‘Black Lives Matter’ message. I feel that EVERYONE matters.

We are all immigrants. Unless you are Native American, you’re descendant from an immigrant. The fact that people don’t see this, drives me nuts.

I agree that we need more stringent gun laws. I also feel we need more gun safety education.

Thank you for reading and for allowing us to share our opinion, even if it’s opposing. We all have a right to an opinion & we should all be able to share without the fear of receiving a hateful or judgmental response. Of all your posts, I appreciated this one the most. Thank you for sharing.

Holly Johnson

February 1, 2017 at 12:34 PM

Thanks for always sharing. Your views on the world are often so different from mine, but that is part of the reason I come here- to listen, to try to understand (the other part being that we are so alike! Funny how we are always more alike than we are different, huh?). I’d like to invite you to read a friend of mine’s blog. She’s a mama and a maker like you, but she’s from the South and deeply rooted in the Christian faith. I hope you will take the time every now and then to check out her words- to listen, and to try to understand. You can find her blog at epcphotography.com