Because there ain't no making me happy

Car salesmen are the worst

OK, I know this is cliche. I know this is a generalization. I know this has been my experience in EVERY car purchase I have ever made, so I am pretty sure others have it as well.

It is universally known that car salesmen are the worst! I am sure every comedian has probably covered this topic so I am not exploring any new ground here, but I am gonna throw in my two cents.

Car salesmen are the vultures of society.

They perch themselves up near the front entrance of the dealership, waiting and watching for any movement on the lot. They respond to email inquiries and bang out phone calls to people who have shown even the remotest interest in one of their cars. When a customer finds it’s way onto the property they flap their wings and decide who gets to approach the potential meal.

They leave the perch and saunter over near the customer trying not to look too eager. They circle, make small talk, and assess the situation. They wait for the customer to show signs of weakness or excitement about a vehicle.

Then they swoop in and land near their prey. As you fight to maintain the upper hand, they wait you out until you finally give in. You offer, they counter. You offer again, they counter again. Then, when you appear weak, another one swoops in to add more pressure. More offers, more pressure. You’re gasping, breathing hard and trying to hang on to the little life you have left, but there are now two vultures waiting, waiting to see last breaths of hesitation escape from your lungs as you agree to the purchase.

Now they feast! There is a flurry of feathers and papers and the next thing you know you are standing in your driveway with keys to a new car and buyers remorse.

Good luck out there!

Nothing reminds you of this fact more than when you begin your new car search. The process is the same on every single lot. Sure, the names of the dealerships change as you shop around and look for the best deal, but the process is the same. The behavior is the same. It is so predictable.