What Is Happening In Britney's New Video?

Britney Spears released her new video, "I Wanna Go," today. There are so many questions: Is whistling the new thing? Is it appropriate to flash a 9-year-old boy? Who tells her to "keep her hands above the blanket?" Are those faux Balmain jeans? Why milk? What is that baby doing? What do seashells mean? And most importantly, why sing, "There's a countdown waiting for me to erupt," when that countdown ended two years ago and now everyone's just waiting for her comeback? Actually, the most important bit isn't a question, but the fact that the movie advertised on the marquee behind Britney dancing on a car is Crossroads.