The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

A woman, usually in 35+ single or married, sexually aroused, and attractive, who is sick of her same-age counterparts who typically are smelly, hairy, overweight, and lazy, terrible in sex, and so forth. Cougars usually do all they can to be in shape and look much younger. Cougars seek younger men wherever they can find them.

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

A mature woman (old enough to be the mother of a high schooler and usually the product of a failed marriage) who has kept themself in good enough shape and style to compete with the younger early to mid 20s females for the silver back males at bars. A cougar's sexual appetite demands a healthy physically fit mate. For this reason, cougars are especially attracted to younger males.

Cougars make great mates for younger males because they usually have their own house and no roommates, no interest in reproducing, their own alcohol, fake breasts, don't expect you to call the next day, and don't require much cuddling after a good one night stand.

"Hey see those cougars on the dance floor?? The one on the right just handed me a hotel room key and said she had a bottle of wine she needed help with in room 412 at the Hilton"

A cougar is a female mammal of the homo sapient family, 35-55 years old, found throughout most populated areas. A capable stalk-and-ambush predator, preying on much younger males, cougars can frequently be seen in urban and suburban densely-populated habitats with liquor licenses. A cougar's preferred prey item is usually but not always under 25, as cougars prefer to prey on younger men who have hair and get erections naturally. Typically solitary and territorial, cougars have been frequently observed hunting in packs while individual territory sizes depend on terrain, vegetation, and abundance of prey. A cougar's prime predation hours are late evenings to early mornings and especially during weekends. Cougars will typically leave their cubs with relatives, ex-husbands, ex-in-laws or an overnight sitter while hunting.

Typically, cougars have been known to misrepresent their age to prey items due to the normally short duration of predation periods, from one night to several months, and having the advantage of a smokin' hot appearance allowing them to pass for a much younger animal such as a puma. Being older, wiser, and highly skilled; cougars pursue younger men more for their unwavering stamina than for materialism as is the case with the puma. Cougars crave the attention and thrill of an uncomplicated sexually intense relationship that younger men tend to offer. Although the term's urban use began pejoratively, it is now usually viewed as a compliment, as young men frequently enjoy being preyed upon by an attractive cougar or MILF.

Physical characteristics

Cougars are slender and agile standing 5 to 6 foot in height, without heels, with the ideal specimen averaging 36" inches around the chest, 26" around the waist and 36" around the hips and buttocks while weighing anywhere between 100 to 135lbs on average. The cougar's head is well maintained with a luxurious and frequently dyed mane and a painted-on face. The cougar has 10 claws on their forepaws and 10 shorter claws on their hind paws which typically are painted the same color. The cougar's skin varies in color from specimen to specimen and even between siblings due to natural skin pigments, make-up, sun exposure and spray on tans. Hair color, design or absence of hair in the pubic region of the cougar varies according to the cougar's preference and whether the carpet will match the curtains but typically the hair is darker than the mane in which the norm is a landing strip or a small semi-triangular patch.

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

A cougar cannot be defined simply, as one cannot consciously seek out a cougar. One can only prepare him/herself to confirm a positive cougar sighting by familiarizing themselves with the common signs/traits of a cougar. Many mistakenly fall back on their general knowledge of cougars to incorrectly confirm and report a cougar encounter. Those who are commonly sighted in public and misidentified are usually not actual cougars but are their more familiar and far less cunning cousin- the puma. Cougars are always on the prowl for a new mate and are seasoned in their tactics to not be easily identified, as they served many years as a bobcat gaining experience prior to attaining their seasoned cougar status. If you feel the presence of a cougar on the prowl you may instinctively experience a chill down your spine. It is advisable to shy away and avoid falling prey to the attack. When drinking it is good prevention to have a wingman that honors the Sheppard’s rule to not let you leave the herd or the watering hole without their approval.

Three common flaws in the cougar’s camouflage:

1. She knows a lot of your acquaintances and they tend to have positive initial individual reactions to seeing her, but quickly shy away when they realize they are in the herd. (Cougars are known to prey upon many animals in the same herd that generally enjoy the experience but fear publicly admitting the encounter, as falling prey to a cougar scars the reputation.)

2. Despite her ability to fit in by wearing the current fashion, during conversation about current popular music or TV culture she may make references of many retro or historical topics that you may or may not have some basic knowledge of. (Cougars are generally fifteen or more years older than they appear in a dimly lit bar or club and generally prey upon victims substantially younger than they are.)

3. Cougars tend to have trophy toys to entice their prey such as expensive sports cars, hot tubs, expensive homes, etc. which are products of their years of success in their careers. (These luxuries are not easily afforded during the more youthful period that preceded becoming a cougar.)

Bear in mind, once a cougar on the prowl has cornered you, separated you from the herd and pounced, you too will likely not publicly admit to the encounter.

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

An alert/call used to not only warn others of the presence an "untouchable," but to ask for assistance in the avoidance of the "untouchable" in question as well. If alert fails and one is approached, respect each others boundaries and speak in a proffesional matter. Politeness and distance are one's keys to success in the everlasting battle faced each day.

Here is a situation in which the("cougar!") alert would be placed in effect. The possible interaction b/w oneself and a "David Eggers" would warrent a "cougar" alert/call. May also appear under the name "Davey." Quick description: Tall, slender body type. Brown eyes and hair. 15/16 years of age. An,"I'm the shit," attitude. Crewmember of McDonalds, currently wearing a blueshirt, possible promotion to red in the coming weeks.