The Vikings May Have Lost, But This Minnesota Local News Report Wins Everything

Sorry, Marshall Eriksen, Drew Magary, and other Minnesota Vikings fans out there, though I’ve never met another one of you and don’t really want to because I know you’re still wearing a Brett Favre jersey: your team done got pummeled by the Packers. Check out KSK’s take for the specifics, but for a reenactment of yesterday’s events, check out the local news clip below. The Vikings are the reporter; the Packers are the barreling drunk who will push aside women, children, the crippled, and crippled female children for his single second of TV glory.

(Note the way he stays hidden behind a plant box until the very last second, then imagine the speech he gave to himself before appearing. “OK, Bruiser, you can do this. Think of how proud the boys down at the abandoned party boat will be. It’s just like that time in ‘Nam when I killed that dude five years ago, screamed ‘Good mourning Vietnam,’ and ran away without paying for my sick Minnesota Twins t-shirt jersey. Good one, bro.”)

I just want to point out that the restaurant in that clip is awesome. The hit took place up on the rooftop, which is covered in a huge glass dome that retracts into itself in warm weather. And the Johnny Michaels makes some mean drinks.