'Stick with it': Norman and Betty Elsner have been married 65 years and counting

Norman and Betty Elsner were married June 18, 1951, in Stevenson, Washington.

Norman, 87, served in the Army and later was a diesel mechanic. Betty, 82, worked for Montgomery Ward for 20 years.

The couple has three children — one of whom died — seven grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

We visited with the Elsners in their Southeast Portland home to learn their secret to a long and happy partnership.

How did you meet?

Betty: Well, I was looking for my parents' cattle. We didn't have fences on 60 acres in Larch Mountain, and so I went down the trail. He had some relatives that had just bought the farm that I was going down to see about the cows. I borrowed a horse to track down the cows and get 'em back to our property, and when I got down there, his family was visiting. So that's the first time we met. Then he came around every once in a while.

What do you remember most about your wedding day?

Betty: We eloped. See, it was difficult. January 1951, he got drafted into the Army. Then his first leave, he came home on a bus for three days. And we eloped to Stevenson, Washington, then (we had a honeymoon) for a night, then he had to get back to San Francisco. My parents were not all for it. I was in high school. However, both of 'em loved Norm. We had to have a conference with the school department. My parents discussed it after whatever the school people said, and they said, "No, we like him as much as she does," and they weren't going to stop it, because the school said they could cancel the wedding.

Did you continue in school after you were married?

Betty: Heck, no. We were just inseparable. He had to get back in three days. He had to be there, get married and go back.

Norman: I was in California. For (military police) training.

Betty: He was in the Army for two years. But he was only in the Army without me from January 'til June. As soon as my parents agreed that it was OK, I caught the bus and went to San Francisco. He had rented an apartment. From there on we were together.

What do you remember about those first years?

Betty: It was short. I was visiting when he was (on duty) on this back gate where the big row of Army trucks were coming in.

Norman: Convoy.

Betty: And they were full of guys. Norm's standing there, holding (newborn son) Rex. (They laugh.) He's standing there holding this baby that must be very brand-new. And all of the whole line of guys, they cheered! They clapped. They (shouted), "Yeah!" I was hiding. I wasn't standing there.

Norman: She was in the guard shack.

Betty: But he never got chewed out or anything.

Norman: Everybody thought that was great!

What have you enjoyed doing together?

Betty: Just being there with each other. We raised ponies and full-size horses. Cattle and ...

Norman: Dogs. Boxers.

Betty: Yeah, we showed boxers, and raised boxer dogs. Purebreds. Well, I had kids that liked 'em, and I liked 'em. We showed boxers and (the kids) were in 4-H in horses. We belonged to a square dance club. Until they closed up. Just out of Boring.

What's the biggest challenge you've faced together?

Norman: I got bad memories, I don't know.

Betty: You do not. You have good memories. Raising kids and animals.

Was there ever a time you thought your marriage wouldn't last?

Betty: No. Oh, you better answer.

Norman: No.

What do you like and admire the most about each other?

Norman: What do you think?

Betty: I'm thinking! I'm thinking! (Laughter) You go first.

Norman: I'm trying to think of something!

Betty: He got a haircut last night.

Would you say your marriage has been a happy one?

Betty: Mostly, yeah.

Norman: I don't think I had any trouble.

What is your secret to a long and happy marriage?

Betty: If you love each other enough in the beginning, it just hangs on.

Norman: Gee, I don't know.

Betty: He doesn't know how to throw my hand off.

What advice would you give to newlyweds today?

Betty: If you feel that you care about the person that much, then stick with it.

Norman: Both of you gotta agree together. That way, you get along. One of them won't be trying to boss the other around. Not just one person making all the decisions.

Betty: Yeah. I agree with that. When did you start thinking? (Laughter)