Saturday, March 1, 2014

Sorry for the wrinkles on the page. I was gonna print ya a new one, but Jeffrey said I’d probably just cry all over that one, too. He’s right. I’ve been leaking tears for days and ain’t likely to stop all of a sudden, so I just carry lots of tissues wherever I go.

I ain’t much for these computer things, but if it’ll help my Jillian, I’ll answer whatever questions ya can muster.

Thank you ever so much for agreeing to meet regular with my Jillian. She looks forward to every meeting, even the ones she gripes about. I can tell. She used to be that way when I first took her over to Momma’s house to stay for a while when she was just a tiny babe. Pretty soon it got so she fussed about having to come home with me. That’s my Jillian for ya though. She’s quick to trust and quicker to love and love fierce at that.

I’m not exactly sure what more I could tell ya that she can’t. My heartbeat is starting to come back to normal, though I think if something like this ever happens again I might up and have a busted heart. Never cried so much in my life and that’s the truth. Jeffrey had to be the strong one for both of us, but he spent his share of tears, too. He called Momma and his parents, and they all dropped their lives to come be with us.

Talking two seconds with Jillian, ya probably know Momma’s something sure-fired special. I had Jillian so young that Momma

practically had to raise us both at once. Jason wasn’t much help, but he was handsome. I was young and in love, a recipe for trouble according to Momma. I up and married the first pretty man who paid me any mind. What did I know of marriage?

You asked about that day. It’s hard to describe the panic. It’s like an elephant setting itself down square on yer chest and deciding it likes it there. Every breath becomes a hard-fought battle. Everything around becomes more real and less real all at once. Ya become aware of every breath but hours could tick painfully by with only one endless record playing.