Keeping 3D green? I think not.

It’s the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.
~Andy Warhol

So on Saturday night Mike, Dargon and I went to see Tron. Unfortunately, the only showing available at the time we went was 3D.

I despise 3D. Not only is it two or three bucks more per head, but the damn glasses are uncomfortable and the benefit is negligible. I’ll stay with my neo-Luddite 2D movies, thanks. I just prefer watching cheaper movies and not having to try to keep a second pair of glasses on my face. And the movie looks just as good…even better if you take into account the fact that they’re not “throwing” things at you.

But there were a couple of things in particular that really pissed me off.

For starters, we were asked to “Please put on your 3D glasses now.” We did. And watched two 3D commercials, after which we were told to “Please remove your 3D glasses now.” What. the. fucking. hell. You’re kidding right? Not only did I have to sit through two sessions of people trying to convince me to buy an electric razor (and that said razor would somehow make me incredibly happy and desirable), but said sessions were filled with crappy animation and the aforementioned negligible benefit of “3D” (which is a misnomer, as it only appears to convince a complete idiot that it’s three-dimensional).

Then we were reminded to put our “3D” glasses in the recycling bins outside of the theater to “Keep 3D Green!”

Excuse me? Fuck you.

There is nothing green about 3D. You’re producing a disposable product and therefore wasting huge amounts of resources (plastic is made from petroleum) and energy (more petroleum). Merely recycling the stupid things is not even going to come close to alleviating the damage already done. It’s. Not. Green. Quit. Trying. To. Make. It. Something. It’s. Not.

Of course, the simple fact that this little “Keep 3D Green” jingle exists is because people have already bought hook, line, and motherfucking sinker into the idea that we can just magic ourselves into being environmentally conscientious. That technology will save us without us having to be denied so much as a 3D movie. I call bullshit. The only thing that’s going to save our asses, (if they need saving), is people saying “This is wasteful and excessive.” I’m not going to hold my breath.

Then of course there was the ever-present product placement, made even more prominent and annoying by the need to work an entire movie’s worth into the short interlude before such placements would be impossible. I swear the camera actually pointed at the logos and focused on them with a massive amount of aggression. LOOK. LOOK AT THIS. YOU NEED THIS. Or maybe I’m just getting old and crotchety and should swear off movies altogether.

GET OUT OF MY YARD, YOU DAMN ADVERTISEMENTS. BEFORE I CALL THE COPS. YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE.

3 Responses to “Keeping 3D green? I think not.”

Actually one small correction, least in singapore, they reuse the glasses – even the cheap and dodgy ones with flimsy lenses. While the technology they use in cinemas is polarised lenses (which is cheaper and simpler than the LCD shutters TVs use) which prolly cost a few dollars each, its more cost effective to collect them all in a bin, replace broken and nicked one, and use them again. I know mine were, since they bloody had fingerprints on them. I wish they’d standardise, and let people bring their own, or have clipons for their glasses, than having to wear fingerprinty glasses over their glasses.

I’ll agree, the hot-glasses-on-glasses action gets old quick. I actually have a couple pair that I kept at some point. I was planning on pulling out the lenses and doing something a bit more glasses-friendly with them. Of course, they got packed, so I’ll have to wait until I’ve completed the personal relocation process before I can even consider it again.

I like 3D movies. At least, I like /some/ 3D movies. UP, for instance, was beautiful, and I think the effect enhanced it. There are other movies that really have no business bothering. In general, I’m not really a fan of the “Hey, this is 3D! See our gimmick? This thing will move in the plane we normally can’t convincingly move things through!” that you get with most of them. I thought it looked good on Tron, but I think I’d like the 2D blu-ray with a decent sound system better.