Review: BMW 650i Convertible

BMW 650i Convertible, Where Horsepower Meets Willpower

BMW 650i Convertible

8/10

Wired

More power than you’d ever need. Cheaper than the CL550. Search destinations on Google from iDrive. Sport mode drastically changes handling and performance. Awesome 8-speed automatic, but available with a stick shift.

I’ll forgive you if you don’t believe me at first, nodding as you point to the 400 horsepower 4.4 liter twin-turbo direct injection V8, 20-inch wheels and high-tech options that bump the price tag into six figures.

Once in the driver’s seat, however, you’ll be the one holding back, using up every ounce of willpower to keep from mashing the accelerator.

It’s a grand tourer capable of quickly reaching speeds that’ll get your license cancelled faster than a Netflix subscription after a price increase. Speeding tickets? They’re for chumps. Lose track of your speed on a straightaway and you’ll go from the front seat of a Bimmer to the back seat of a Crown Vic in under five seconds.

Like a vacation in Saudi Arabia, the 650i is awash with power and opulence, but as soon as you start having fun, you’re probably breaking the law.

During the week I spent driving the 650i, I twitched like Mitt Romney answering questions about health care at a Club For Growth meeting, resisting all urges to put my foot down on the gas pedal. That’s the paradox of this car. Like a vacation in Saudi Arabia, the 650i is awash with power and opulence, but as soon as you start having fun, you’re probably breaking the law.

Another similarity with that Middle Eastern kingdom is that you’ll frequently fork over of large amounts of cash in exchange for access to fossil fuels. Our tester was fitted with the EfficientDynamics package, which along with aerodynamic enhancements and weight-saving electronic power steering, involved a regenerative braking setup that freed the engine from the parasitic drain of recharging the starter battery. EPA estimates claim 16 mpg city and 24 mpg highway, but I saw numbers between 13 and 18 with the top down regardless of traffic.

That won’t bother most buyers, though. Like abysmal trunk volume and cramped backseat space, fuel economy isn’t a major selling point for the 650i convertible. It’s a car meant for long, unnecessary drives up coasts and across continents, trips where getting there is almost all the fun.

The all-new design throws a bucket of cold water onto Bangle-era flame surfacing, dressing the new 6-series in BMW’s more conservative corporate uniform. At more than 16 feet long, the big 6 was outstanding on sweeping stretches of open highway, but it also remained nimble at slower speeds with precise, communicative steering and a firm ride. It’s not as agile as a 3-series, but only because BMW’s engineers are still subject to the laws of physics. The car I drove featured optional Active Roll Stabilization ($2000), which did a great job at keeping the massive car from leaning into corners like a cargo ship. Despite the chopped top, body flex was nearly nonexistent. In sport mode, shift points got higher and the suspension noticeably stiffened. Press the button for comfort, though, and the car glided along like the comparatively yacht-like Mercedes CL550, a fellow Autobahn-burner that costs tens of thousands of dollars more than the 650i.

My tester had a sticker price of $103,525. For that premium over the base of $90,500, it came equipped with several unobtrusive active safety systems that stayed switched off for most of the time I was driving — though I’d appreciate the lane departure warning system on a long, late-night drive. Also included was a surround view camera that made parking the large coupe a breeze even with the soft top’s thick C-pillars blocking my view. There’s even a heads-up speedometer display, and an infotainment screen that magically stayed readable even with the top down and sun shining directly on the dashboard. The car I drove also paired BMW’s on-board iDrive system with my smartphone, allowing me to search for the address of a brand new restaurant on Google from the dashboard instead of relying on the navigation system’s already outdated list.

BMW only made two major mistakes.

First, the infamous triple turn signal stalk that’s appeared across the lineup has got to go. Instead of locking into an on or off position, it’s one press for a lane change, two presses for a full signal, and another press for off. To make matters worse, the stalk automatically recenters between presses, and the instinctual habit of moving the stalk in the opposite direction to turn off all signals will instead set the other blinker flashing. At least that’s what I think. I’m pretty sure I spent most of the week driving around with my left blinker on like an AARP member, inadvertently switching lanes without a signal or getting caught in an endless loop of right and left signals just trying to turn the damn thing off. It’s maddening, and I swear BMW has kept the feature only to give reviewers one thing to complain about so it doesn’t look like we got briefcases full of cash in exchange for glowing reviews of otherwise first-rate cars.

Also, the rear badge moonlights as both a trunk handle and a cover that keeps the rear view camera clean. Unfortunately, it’s so heavily spring-loaded that anyone with a grip short of Paul Bunyan’s will get their fingers stuck.

Interesting — but not bad — is an auto hold button that automatically engages the parking brake while the car is at a stop, allowing you to rest your foot on the gas pedal for a quick getaway. It’s a gimmick, but it’s also useful in stop and go traffic. Speaking of traffic jams, the 650i’s electronically-controlled 8-speed automatic is particularly ill-equipped for rush hour, lurching to a stop at low speeds. Merge onto an open highway, however, and all will be forgiven. As the transmission expertly upshifts through the first of eight speeds, the tailpipe lets out a thunderous, nearly subsonic blast, unleashing amusement park-worthy acceleration. Want to row your own? If you’re in North America, you can thankfully order a 650i with a six-speed manual.

I’m also a fan of the new sheet metal. The previous 6-series, the E63/64, languished so long without an update that its rebelliousness seemed cliche — a Hot Topic cashier with dark eyeshadow and a skeleton choker. Tucked in, tightened up and lowered, the new design aptly communicates the sheer power of what’s under the hood, even if the rear end does look like it was inspired by one of Peter Schreyer’s new Kia sedans.

While the new coupe is gorgeous, I’m glad BMW has a soft spot for the soft top. The convertible roof’s contrasting color enhances the low roofline, while framing a retractable rear window that’s perpendicular to the trunk, a design cue oddly reminiscent of the “breezeway window” on the 1963 Mercury Monterey. When it’s up, the roof feels permanent, blocking wind and road noise and keeping intact the signature echo that seems to be a standard feature of all BMW interiors. Driving through a torrential rainstorm, I only knew the top was cloth because of the characteristic tapping of raindrops on canvas. I timed putting the top up at just under 20 seconds, a little less than BMW’s own estimates. Putting the top down took two fewer seconds.

For 650i owners, those may be the longest 18 seconds of your day. This is a car meant for al fresco motoring, pedal to the floor, a weekend bag in the trunk, a tank full of gas and a good lawyer on speed dial. It’s an entirely extravagant and unnecessary car, and a model of restraint all the same.