University Park Is DFW's Most Walkable Neighborhood, Says Bullshit List

A new, bullshit list has found that University Park is the most walkable neighborhood in all of Dallas-Fort Worth. Highland Park comes next and Addison ranks third. And then the list ends.

Well, that settles it then. Come on Uptown, Oak Lawn, Deep Ellum, Lower Greenville and all of Oak Cliff, it's time to go home.

"Dallas-Fort Worth residents aren't known for walking," according to an insulting write-up in the Dallas Business Journal, "and Texas pedestrians can count on getting stared at for taking on the sidewalks in 100+ degree heat."

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That already gives you a heads-up of where this list is going. Newsflash: People walk in Dallas-Fort Worth. People walk everywhere. It's just that in certain cities, walking means waiting for 12 minutes at the crosswalk while the rich give you a judgey stare from their cars, and Dallas can often be one of those cities.

Overall, the list ranked Dallas as the 30th most walkable city in the United States, probably accurate when you include the suburban parts and the highways, and then completely disregard all of the cute little sections that are actually walkable.

The crude list was allegedly based on data from WalkScore.com, a seemingly legitimate site that describes a walkable neighborhood as a place where daily errands don't require a car.

But then a California real estate firm called ZipRealty came in and "analyzed" that data.

The rankings also got screwed up because ZipRealty sneaked in a little "with the most affordable homes" clause at the end of its "the most walkable" list title. This somehow makes University Park, which has a median home price of more than $1 million, become the most walkable and affordable neighborhood in all of the metro area. (Granted, University Park is a pretty nice place to walk, but at that price tag, it had better be.)

Perhaps a more accurate title for this ranking is Neighborhoods Where ZipRealty Is Currently Trying To Sell Houses, and Walkable Is a Cool Word.