U.S. Government: There are no mermaids

This is a sad time for kids (and men) across America. Last week the National Ocean Service crushed all hopes and dreams that mermaids just might be real.

The governmental agency updated its website with a devastating statement reading, “No evidence of aquatic human aquatic humanoids has ever been found.”

It seems the information was released in reaction to the Animal Planet show “Mermaids: The Body Found.” Released in May, the show looked at whether there is “a kernel of truth that lives beneath the legend of the mythic mermaid,” according to MSNBC.

“The timing was around that time. I think the TV show came out around Memorial Day and we got a few of the questions [about mermaids],” Keeley Belva, spokesperson for NOAA’s National Ocean Service, told MSNBC. “Arguably, yes, the timing is tied to the documentary.”

Now that we’re faced with the harsh reality that mermaids don’t exist, it seems like the right time to take a walk down mermaid memory lane to see how flippered humans have played a part in pop culture.