Monday, March 08, 2010

Alien Abduction Act VIII --Photographic evidence!

Yes that's right folks. An outside, independent, third-party source has now verified my completely true Alien Abduction! See, so far the pitcures have been taken by Wifey-Poo. Except, of course, with the notable exception of the latest one where I'm blasting off into space with my sledge-hammer to smash the aliens to bits and eat their brains. That one I had to reconstruct from memory.

*ahem*

The two pictures that I'm putting up today comes to you directly (via me) from a secret Chinese spy satellite! And just how, I hear you ask, did I get my hands on these beauties? Well, as any of you who read the comments can tell, I have frequent contact with my evil Chinese overlords via the comments on this blog. And as a reward for my service they have sent through 2 pictures taken at the time of my true alien abduction.

Would you like to see them?

Of course you would. But you'll have to wait while I mention a Truthful Third Thing About Me That You Can't Learn From Reading This Blog. Yes Ti, I'm gonna milk this tag for all it is worth.

*throat clearing sound*

#3 I know what was the favorite beer of George Washington. Yes, that George Washington. Oh c'mon, you know! General George Washington? First President of the US? Ring any bells with anyone?

Not only that, but I also know the origins of this type of beer and also exactly how it got its name.

I also have George Washington's personal recipe for making "small beer". That means the cheap crap.

I also know the law passed in Massatoochits in 1637 prescribing just how much malt is needed for each quality of brew.

And I did NOT use Ma Google nor the Great Wikipedia. In fact, I didn't use the ole Series of Tubes at all!

Those of you know me, this surely comes as no surprise.

And here's the cool part. I'll tell you. But only if you pay me! Or help spread my fame to the far corners and nether regions of the Blogosphere. So, all my regulars can each send me USD$100 OR promote the heck out of this blog and I'll share the above info.

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Next topic: I'm still infected. 3 weeks and 3 completely different infections. Needless to say, I'm pretty well wiped out --too many schnitzengrubens fed to me from Madelaine Kahn.

And from now on I PROMISE to keep my fly zipped! *ahem*

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Watched The Myth last night. Awesomely good movie. Jackie Chan at his finest! No, not a comedy. I'm not going to write anything about it till at least ONE of you goes and rents it, watches it, and tells me what you think.

Forbidden Kingdom with Jet Li was damned good too.

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And now...

What you've all been waiting for...

*drum roll please*

The secret Chinese spy satellite photos of me being blasted into to space towards the waiting alien space ship!

This first one CLEARLY shows me rocketing upwards from Adelaide, South Australia, Australia, Southern Hemisphere, Planet Earth towards the waiting alien space ship! Please notice Indonesia towards the left of the picture...

Before the evil alien space ship could recloak, it passed under the Chinese spy satellite... Apparantly these aliens paint a picture of their leader on the top of the control dome for their ship. I, however, did not, of course, see the top of the ship so at this point I have NO idea what to expect on board with the exception of their being some wonderful, juicy, tasty brains for me to eat --remember, I was still an undead, brain-eating zombie at this point.

Coming up soon: we learn just who is in control of the alien ship! And zombie dave is chased through the ship!