77

50

78.1

78.4

75.6

.609

.589

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Braves record is so good it’s not available in stores. In fact, it’s only available through this one-time TV offer!

2

75

54

76.2

75.2

74.2

.582

.602

57.1%

35.4%

92.5%

-0.4%

-1.2%

Now without Ryan Dempster, the Red Sox will fly into a violent tailspin, shedding games in the standings willy nilly and WAKE UP!

3

75

52

70.1

71.1

72.3

.568

.548

41.0%

58.3%

99.2%

0.8%

0.9%

The Pirates aren't really a score 10 runs type of team but everyone has to step out of their comfort level from time to time.

4

75

52

70.4

72.9

70.9

.569

.549

99.4%

0.1%

99.5%

0.1%

0.3%

If Zack Greinke facing the Cubs is a lock, and Zack Greinke facing the Marlins is a reverse lock, then Clayton Kershaw facing the Marlins must be a reverse reverse lock.

5

74

53

79.0

75.0

73.9

.594

.575

33.6%

65.0%

98.6%

0.9%

2.4%

Does Matt Carpenter have magical powers? On the next Maury!

6

74

53

79.8

86.0

84.9

.639

.657

96.7%

2.3%

99.0%

0.0%

-0.5%

If Austin Jackson’s career continues like this, to regress to the mean, he’ll have to first invent the concept of negative BABIP.

7

74

53

71.3

70.7

69.6

.562

.582

77.3%

15.5%

92.8%

0.3%

0.8%

Adrian Beltre's head is like the Zoltar machine in Big. Rub it and something amazing will happen.

8

73

55

74.2

73.9

74.1

.577

.557

25.5%

71.7%

97.2%

1.7%

1.8%

The funny thing is, even if asked by his wife, Joey Votto won’t walk anywhere.

9

72

53

68.6

74.1

74.2

.578

.597

39.3%

50.2%

89.5%

0.6%

1.8%

Congratulations to the Rays on the homecoming of Delmon Young. Just remember to nail down all furniture in the dome. Oh, uh, no reason. Just wouldn’t want to see anything get eaten is all.

10

71

55

70.2

70.0

67.4

.553

.572

22.7%

42.9%

65.6%

-1.5%

-10.3%

Roasting a full pig on a spit is Yoenis Cespedes’ gyroball.

11

69

58

67.5

66.2

67.2

.531

.551

3.3%

29.9%

33.2%

-0.0%

10.6%

And now a new segment we at Hit List like to call “Ask Chief Wahoo.” Little Billy Taylor wants to know, how do you score runs in baseball? Chief Wahoo: “Well, Billy, it’s like a race, and you want to racist home as fast as possible!”

12

68

58

67.3

65.0

65.7

.528

.548

2.4%

14.4%

16.9%

0.6%

-3.8%

The only thing Manny Machado doubles at anymore is being Manny Machado. The more you know!

13

68

59

63.7

56.8

58.1

.485

.505

1.2%

8.5%

9.6%

1.1%

5.2%

Last night, Andy Pettitte intentionally walked the 42nd hitter of his career, which moves him into a 20-way tie for 457th place on the all time list. Accomplishment accomplished!

14

65

61

64.4

62.0

62.6

.504

.484

0.6%

3.8%

4.4%

-3.3%

-4.7%

Diamondbacks pitching was ineffectively wild, throwing four wild pitches, and providing someone with the name of a new podcast.

15

64

62

65.2

58.6

59.6

.491

.511

0.1%

0.8%

0.9%

-0.7%

-2.6%

James Shields is 8-8, meaning he's not pitched very well when he's pitched extremely well. How is that possible? Magic!

16

63

64

60.7

61.1

61.3

.484

.465

0.0%

1.1%

1.1%

-0.1%

-0.5%

Drew Storen came back! To save the game! (in the 13th inning) (after three other pitchers pitched) What a homecoming it was! (in Chicago)

17

59

70

62.7

63.1

60.4

.475

.455

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.1%

The Rockies struck out six times against Philadelphia last night, four of which came from Dexter Fowler who later admitted after the first three, he was trying to spike the stats.

18

59

67

54.3

57.6

57.5

.453

.473

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

It's unclear if anyone is playing on this team except Felix Hernadnez. I hear there are websites to look that kind of information up though!

19

58

67

59.6

59.1

58.3

.470

.450

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.0%

The best thing about the Mets? Still Mr. Met's bulbous head and guileless expression.

20

57

70

52.2

51.6

53.6

.422

.403

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Know who was the hero in a walk-off win again? Michael Young. Eat that, statistics!

21

57

71

59.3

57.3

59.8

.456

.476

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Mark DeRosa was batting cleanup, which could be a symptom of the Blue Jays' playoff odds hitting zero, or a cause.

22

57

70

54.2

56.0

56.3

.440

.420

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Pades spent the off-day in full uniform picking daisies by the roadside, drinking Diet Shasta, and hoping to thumb a ride to adventure!

23

56

71

53.8

57.9

58.7

.446

.426

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

It's like the Giants rotation collectively said, "Ha ha!,' pulled its masks off, and was the '88 Indians.

24

56

70

54.9

56.9

57.2

.446

.466

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Twins beat Justin Verlander proving 1) even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while, or 2) even a broken clock is right twice a day. That's right, it's a Cliché-off! Broken Clock v. Blind Squirrel! It's the Combat in a Comment! Now! …on pay-per-view!

25

55

72

57.2

60.2

61.3

.460

.440

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Whoops, no Brewers comment. I have no one to blame but myself. I have disappointed the people closest to me -- the ones who fought for me because they truly believed me all along.

26

55

71

58.5

61.9

60.5

.468

.488

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Can you make the Hall of Fame by leading all hitters in bWARP for 20 years but without winning an MVP?

27

54

73

58.3

61.0

61.7

.463

.443

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Cubs are working to re-develop the lovable losers persona. As such all players are required to wear cute baby otter pictures on their shirt for the rest of the season.

28

52

74

55.5

55.8

55.3

.434

.454

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The White Sox have a winning record against Kansas City, Baltimore, Boston, Atlanta, Miami, the Yankees, and Texas. That's four first place teams and the worst team in the National League.

29

48

78

49.8

45.5

46.4

.376

.358

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Marlins have been shut out 150 times this season. Oh, wait. No, that should be 15. Didn't look wrong though.