Patricia McAdams Gibbons, LL.B, LL.M, M.A. Attorney at Law

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The Collaborative ProcessThe end of a marriage signals the death of a relationship and involves grieving, as any death does. Frequently, people who face an irreparably broken marital relationship ending in divorce often face courtroom litigation. The problem with litigation is that it is very adversarial and damaging to a family unit that has already fallen apart. Each spouse experiences confusion, anger, loss and conflict. The children of the marriage are inevitably drawn into the respective parents’ positions. It becomes a lose-lose situation for all, and the most vulnerable suffer greatly: the children.

This does not have to be. There is a process now being utilized, not only in Virginia, but world-wide that is known as the “Collaborative Process.” The Process is an alternative to court litigation and is very gentle on the family unit. A growing number of parting couples, along with other professionals such as lawyers, mental health professionals and financial specialists, are using this constructive alternative to the courtroom. These professionals have developed the Collaborative Process Model.The three basic principles are: (1) a pledge not to go to Court; (2) an honest exchange of information by both spouses; and (3) a solution by mutual agreement, which takes into account the highest priorities of the parties and their children.Mutual respect is fundamental to the Process. You cease being spouses, but you do not cease being worthy human beings: “It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason and justice tell me I ought to do,” Edmund Burke.The Process is started by one spouse contacting an attorney trained in the Collaborative Process and then giving the other spouse the list of lawyers trained in the Process. From there, other professionals may or may not be brought into the Process, depending on the facts of each situation. The mental health professionals assist with diminishing the anger, as well as helping with the children’s emotional wellbeing. The financial expert helps with informing the parties of the value of their assets, and the tax consequences of various asset division scenarios. Through a series of sessions with these professionals, the parties come up with their own agreement. By preserving respect and encouraging cooperation, the Collaborative Process helps parents and children keep family bonds while embracing new lives.If you or someone you know is involved in the separation process, please let them know about this new constructive and sensible alternative to the courtroom battle.How Do We Begin?Contact any member of the Collaborative Professional Group: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

What is a Team?Each person hires his/her own collaborative divorce attorney. Together, you both choose one financial specialist and, if children are involved, one child specialist. Each person also hires a coach who is a mental health professional. These professionals are your collaborative practice team.How Does a Team Work?You will have a series of meetings with your team to collect and share information, to develop an understanding of critical issues for each person, and to set priorities. You and the team will begin to work out solutions.What Are the Advantages of Collaboration?You start working on solutions very quickly. You are able to express yourselves within a respectful and cooperative process. You work with the team in an honest, open, and sincere manner, without the pressure of going to court. You are supported and protected by a team of professionals. You leave the process feeling better about yourselves. The children benefit from your example.What Are the Financial Benefits?Collaboration, while requiring an early investment to hire the team of professionals, tends to cost less than a litigated divorce. By collaborating, information is collected easily and solutions are more quickly developed. The process avoids unnecessary controversy and expensive time in court.