This is not the iPhone 5 but, if this were the iPhone 5, I wouldn't mind buying it. I like the soapbar design, loosely based on the false teardrop iPhone 5 poppycock that someone puffed out sometime last year.

And for those who say that this thing wouldn't sit still on a table, the rounded back would be just like the iPhone 3G. Impractical? Maybe. But that didn't stop them from doing it before, right. And not only the iPhone 3G. Two words for you: BURGER MOUSE.

Of course it glows in the dark. With photons made out of unicorn horns.