Seeking After His Hearthttps://seekingafterhisheart.com
A Blog Following the Quest of A Human HeartWed, 14 Mar 2018 15:24:46 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://seekingafterhisheartdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/cropped-rachel-lees-267186-unsplash1.jpg?w=32Seeking After His Hearthttps://seekingafterhisheart.com
3232Chosen Because He is Goodhttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/03/14/chosen-because-he-is-good/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/03/14/chosen-because-he-is-good/#respondWed, 14 Mar 2018 14:55:55 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6521Continue reading Chosen Because He is Good→]]>“The Lord, your God, has chosen you from all the nations on the face of the earth to be a people peculiarly his own. It was because the Lord loved you and because of his fidelity to the oath he had sworn to your father, that he brought you out with his strong hand from the place of slavery…Understand, then, that the Lord, your God, is God indeed, the faithful God who keeps his merciful covenant to the thousandth generation toward those who love him and keep his commandments.”
(Deuteronomy 7:6, 8-9)

The Old Testament is replete with passages that remind the people of Israel that they are God’s chosen people. Yet, just as often, it is quick to remind them, lest they get too prideful, that this is because of the Lord’s goodness, not because of anything remarkable they have done.

“Therefore if you hearken to my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my special possession, dearer to me than all other people, though all the earth is mine.” (Exodus 19: 5)

We are His people and the flock He shepherds. He has a deep love for us. He thirsts for us. However, this is not because of anything we have done. The Lord doesn’t love us or choose us because we are the most faithful. Or because we are the most successful. Rather, He continues to love us because He is love and He is good.

As we are called to repentance particularly during this time of Lent, we are impelled to remember that this is possible because of who the Lord is. “For gracious and merciful is he, slow to anger, rich in kindness, and relenting in punishment.” (Joel 2:13)

Since He loves me independently of anything good or admirable that I do, it also follows that He will persist in loving me despite my unlovely or bad actions. He doesn’t sway in affections like I do. He remains steadfast because His love is rooted in the very fact that we are.

We were created out of an overflow of Love. That love isn’t revoked when we fail to stay in communion with God. It is a love that is truly unconditional. The Lord is gracious and merciful. May we strive to love others with the love that God has shown toward us. An indifferent, overflowing, unrelenting love grounded in the fact that it is good that the other exists.

In fact, I have respect for people who have the gift of being able to chat about different things casually. Some of the students I know better are easier to talk to, but I have to force myself to generate conversation with others.

The other day, I asked a student how his snow day was the previous day. His lack of response prompted me to say semi-teasingly, “Come on!” To which he responded with an annoyed, “No.”

Suddenly, frustration and anger filled me. Here I was, making an effort and he couldn’t even give the common courtesy of responding to a non-invasive question. I wasn’t asking him to share the depths of his soul, just to have him share about something from the previous day.

While small talk doesn’t come easily, quick retorts generally do. So I struggled to keep back all of the sharp responses I wanted to give and I forced myself to continue to acknowledge him during the rest of class, even though I childishly wanted to ignore him. I had the desire to demonstrate to him just how rude he was being…by being equally rude myself. You have a question? Too bad, I don’t want to answer you, just like you didn’t want to answer me.

I didn’t do those things, yet I am continually surprised how deeply small-heartedness is ingrained in me. God is justice and mercy, but I naturally favor justice. Old Testament eye-for-an-eye justice. It isn’t what I want to receive, but it is definitely what I want to mete out.

So what did I do? I kept my littleness in check and I tried to not wall off parts of my heart. When I wanted to turn cold, I tried not to. I wasn’t warm and bubbly with this student yet I fought to not be dismissive or mean. The remarks that were perfectly poised to come out of my mouth did not make their escape. I swallowed them and considered how much work the Lord has to do in this heart.

Magnanimous. This is what I need to be. Translated it means “greatness of soul.” When I want to pull inward, shrink into myself, and harden the walls of my heart, I must seek to do the opposite. Instead of constricting, I need to expand my heart, widen it so that I can be generous and large-hearted. It involves not being petty about wrongs, forgiving continually, and seeking the greatness that is found in not being restricted by things not of the Lord.

May the Lord magnify our hearts. May our souls be great, overflowing with the goodness, generosity, and love of the Lord. Even towards teenagers with attitudes. Especially them.

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/03/09/when-small-hearted-meets-magnanimous/feed/0monica-galentino-102655-unsplashseekingafterhisheartblogThere is a Strength in Faithfulnesshttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/03/04/there-is-a-strength-in-faithfulness/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/03/04/there-is-a-strength-in-faithfulness/#respondMon, 05 Mar 2018 04:14:55 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6506Continue reading There is a Strength in Faithfulness→]]>Only once have I really punched someone in anger.

It was a childish expression of frustration and the reprisal was one that kept that outburst of violence to a one-time event. In general, I am a fairly patient person, I believe, and while I might get annoyed or angry, I am often slow to act on those emotions.

Yet I’ve always wanted to be viewed as strong. I’m not tall and I probably don’t look very intimidating. Despite that, it is a desire of mine to be seen as fiery. The punch I threw in my youth didn’t end well, but I sought to prove my strength in other areas. In an elementary school gym class, we were challenged to do as many push-ups as possible. Due to my slight frame and sheer grit, I completed push-up after push-up until my arms quaked each time I neared the floor. When I finally stopped, only one other person was still going.

As kids, my dad would challenge us to completely unfair wrestling matches. Being six or seven and taking on a fully grown man did not present balanced odds. However, I clearly remember wrestling matches where my dad only needed to use one arm or a leg to pin me down as I relentlessly squirmed to get away. Finally, I would concede defeat, but only with flushed face and worn out limbs.

This desire to be strong was evident from my youth and yet it found expression in various ways as I got older. Physical prowess was never going to be my gift and so I exercised strength in witty replies and intellectual knowledge. But I still wanted to be viewed as strong and I had this indomitable longing to be a soldier. I have a fight in me that needs to be revealed in some way. It means that while I “hit like a girl,” I still punch my dad in the shoulder every time I see him. And while I’m not a fan of conflict, I enjoy a good argument or discussion when I’m in the mood.

At my nephews’ wrestling tournament the other day, I saw a woman in army fatigues. The strength that her outfit symbolized was something I desired for myself. Which, naturally, means I went home that night and casually perused the Army National Guard website. I imagined what it would be like to join the military and how that could impact my life. I don’t really want to fight someone, but I want to fight for something.

It came full circle, it seemed, when I sat today at a Confirmation in the beautiful Cathedral. As the bishop spoke to the young men and women about to be confirmed, I heard him speak about how this wasn’t primarily about the successful completion of a religious education program. No, I considered, it is a commissioning as soldiers for Christ.

This battle that I long for, this fight I have within, and this oddly fierce desire I have to be a soldier is found fulfilled in the Christian life. Yet too often I reject the battle I am given as I foolishly pursue some idealistic, imaginary battle. The battle of prayer is one that takes serious fortitude and strength to maintain. The fight to be loving in my words and actions is one more significant than rigorous Basic Training. If I have the courage to accept my commissioning, I will be active in the most intense battle of my life.

Ven. Jan Tyranowski is someone I’ve felt a close affinity to ever since I heard about him. He was a tailor in Poland when the Nazis sent most of the active priests in his town to concentration camps. While not a priest or formally trained in Theology, he heeded the call to form the young of that town, despite the risk it posed to his life. He started underground prayer groups called the Living Rosary. Generously giving of his time, he personally formed the leaders of these groups by guiding them in the spiritual life. This impacted them so immensely that ten of these men went on to become priests. One even continued on to become a pope. Today, we would call him Pope St. John Paul II.

If Jan Tyranowski had looked for a different battle than the one placed in his lap, he wouldn’t have made the impact God was preparing him to make. Jan was quiet and shy. He only took charge of prayer groups because one of the priests asked him to do so. His battle was not one of outward strength or fierce fighting. Yet in prayer he was a skilled warrior and he was a graced commander for the troops entrusted to his care. St. John Paul II said of Ven. Jan Tyranowski, “I saw the beauty of a soul opened up by grace.” Another member of the group said that without the influence of Jan, neither he nor St. John Paul II would have become priests.

He was one of those unknown saints, hidden amid the others like a marvelous light at the bottom of life, at a depth where night usually reigns. He disclosed to me the riches of his inner life, of his mystical life. In his words, in his spirituality and in the example of a life given to God alone, he represented a new world that I did not yet know.

This fellow melancholic entered into the fray when he stayed home and reached out to those he could. It wasn’t a battle that exhibited great exterior strength and his efforts were largely unknown during his lifetime. The battle came into his life unbidden and he accepted his role in the struggle.

I desire the grace to do the same thing. I find myself wanting to jet off to a real battle or envisioning a future vocation where I will beautifully live this counter-cultural fight in a marriage and family. But right here, right now Christ is calling me to enter into this battle as a soldier through the power of prayer and the strength found in faithfulness.

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/03/04/there-is-a-strength-in-faithfulness/feed/0israel-palacio-463979-unsplashseekingafterhisheartblogThe Grace of Lesson Plans That Get Overthrown by Questionshttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/25/the-grace-of-lesson-plans-that-get-overthrown-by-questions/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/25/the-grace-of-lesson-plans-that-get-overthrown-by-questions/#commentsMon, 26 Feb 2018 02:35:52 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6494Continue reading The Grace of Lesson Plans That Get Overthrown by Questions→]]>The lesson plan for the day was to discuss the argument from efficient causality. Yet they managed to completely derail that plan. When students ask questions that are about the faith and yet truly interest them, it is nearly impossible for me to continue with class as planned. Interiorly, I am torn between following a schedule or curriculum and the desire to answer questions that organically spring up in their hearts.

Nine times out of ten I go with the questions they present to me. I don’t believe I’ve ever regretted it, I only wish that each class would then magically divert itself in the same way. Genuine curiosity and ponderings aren’t things you can manufacture in other classes.

“So is this argument saying that all things are caused to be by other things? Or it is saying not all things are caused to be by other things?” I asked.
“I have a question that kind of relates but is off topic. If God is caused or even if He isn’t caused, what is the point of life? Like why did God make us? What is our purpose?”

Those questions, dear readers, will definitely sidetrack me. When senior boys are curious about why they were created and the meaning of life, I will dropkick lesson plans to spend time answering some of the biggest questions of life.

This is the class that argued with me about gravity objectively existing. The day before this class, instead of working on an assignment they chose to ask me a thousand inane questions about my car, my hometown, and where my parents live. So hearing one student start a conversation about the purpose of their lives and why God made them, and then hearing several other students jump in with follow-up questions, was a pure delight. The only problem was the lack of time before the bell would ring.

To begin to answer their questions, I went back to the beginning. The Trinity. I spoke of how the Father and Son pour out a love that is so strong that it is another person, the Holy Spirit. Within this communion of love, there is nothing that is lacking. God was perfectly satisfied within this exchange of love. Therefore, we are not needed. God didn’t need us.

Telling students that God doesn’t need them is one of my favorite things. I always include that God has a profound love for us, but too often we consider ourselves to be the center of the universe. Instead, I strive to instill in them that God is the necessary being and that our existence is a pure gift. It isn’t necessary for me to be. God wouldn’t be unjust if He didn’t choose to create me. Instead, it is good that I exist and it is an incredible gift that I am here.

God desired to share His love with us in a generous outpouring of existence. We weren’t created to fill a need in God’s heart. While that might decimate our romantic notions, it is far better that we were created out of generosity and not need. If God needed us, then our creation is entirely self-serving. If God doesn’t need us, then our existence is willed simply for us to share in the communion of love that is God. Our end goal is Heaven, living completely within this love that God has for us and for each person of the Trinity.

The student’s response? He said that was the best answer he had ever heard for that question. Senior boys don’t often give me many compliments, so that one carries a ten-fold weight.

The questions continued to roll in and I answered them until the bell. And I couldn’t help but think that this is why I went into teaching. The fact that on a Friday afternoon senior boys were overflowing with questions about God, Heaven, Hell, existence, and purpose was an occurrence that fills me with joy even now.

They wanted every day to be one where they ask questions. Or at least have a “casual Friday” where they ask questions. It makes me want to throw the curriculum out the window and just listen to the desires of their hearts. Some classes would definitely go better than others. Education built upon authentic questions and true seeking is far better than force feeding truths, no matter how beautiful and soul-stirring I find them. Somewhere in the middle is the balance. Somewhere one should be able to find a curriculum that meshes well with answering the questions they truly desire to ask.

For the past few weeks, the question that has troubled me is “How can we help them fall in love with Jesus?” I have yet to encounter the solution for that dilemma. But Friday reminded me of an important truth–the desire to know and love God is written on our hearts. I simply need to teach in a way that works with the natural desires of their hearts.

Friday was a grace from God. It wasn’t idle curiosity, but souls burning to know that there is more to this world than what our culture offers them. More, perhaps, than what members of the Church offer them sometimes. Instead of discussing aspects of an argument for God’s existence, they decided to ask questions that assumed He was real. The boys who argued the reality of gravity or the shape of the earth, didn’t contest the reality of God but instead questioned what their purpose might be. It seems the Lord is answering my prayers in ways I didn’t expect yet are incredibly good for my little heart.

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/25/the-grace-of-lesson-plans-that-get-overthrown-by-questions/feed/1green-chameleon-21532-unsplashseekingafterhisheartblogLent: When You’re Little Enough that No Virtual Window Shopping is a Sacrificehttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/21/lent-when-youre-little-enough-that-no-virtual-window-shopping-is-a-sacrifice/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/21/lent-when-youre-little-enough-that-no-virtual-window-shopping-is-a-sacrifice/#respondThu, 22 Feb 2018 03:40:57 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6486Continue reading Lent: When You’re Little Enough that No Virtual Window Shopping is a Sacrifice→]]>Something I gave up for Lent this year is online shopping. Yet I’ve come to realize in the past week that buying too much stuff isn’t the most prevalent problem. Yes, I could probably fill a six-foot bookshelf with the stacks of books piled around my room. The thing that is harder than not buying things is not even looking for them.

My younger sister jokes that for fairly large purchases (like a food processor or an iPhone) I start talking about them six months before I get around to buying them. I’ve never been much of an impulse buyer. But this Lent I’m giving up browsing, shopping, and slowly placing items in random online shopping carts. I have had to catch myself at least two or three times already from following links to Amazon or sites with random household products.

Why am I doing this? There are two primary reasons: I spend unnecessary time scrolling through websites and I don’t like what looking at so many material things does to my heart.

The first is the lesser of the two. It is important, though. Time is a treasure for which it is difficult to account. The minutes can slip away quickly as I look at what other books will fit nicely into my library. Or as I scout out birthday presents for family members in advance. If I am continually feeling like I don’t have enough time, then perhaps I need to evaluate how I invest my time.

But that second reason, that is probably what caused me to stop with the shopping and browsing. We live in a very materialistic world, but I’ve always felt fairly simple. That simplicity, though, seems to be more an idea than a practice. And I don’t like that it seems to be a quality I think I have but actually do not. Gazing at all of the things I don’t have yet might like to, makes me feel unsatisfied with what I currently have.

This little heart starts to want everything and it doesn’t need everything. In fact, having everything just makes this heart feel weighed down and cumbersome. One of the most freeing times in my life was walking the Camino with a few changes of clothes on my back and a winding country road stretching before me. People we met were shocked that three young women were walking with zero useable electronics. My mom’s acquaintances seemed a little surprised that we would email every couple of weeks and that it was sufficient for everyone involved. But I loved that simplicity of life.

I get that I can’t live life with just a couple changes of clothes. (My students would definitely comment more on my wardrobe choices if I did that.) Yet I don’t need to buy all the things to make a fully functioning household when that isn’t where I’m at in life yet. And I don’t need a library like the one I’ve drooled over for years in Beauty and the Beast. If the things I own create too much internal chaos or distract me from the Lord, then their role is no longer useful but enslaving.

I need this time of Lent to distance myself from distractions. I’m not doing it perfectly, but I’m trying to do it. How I wish my Lenten penances could be far more difficult than simply not online shopping or browsing. Yet this is where this little heart is at currently. Too quickly, she is caught up concerning herself with a world she was only ever meant to be in, but not of.

What aspects of your life are causing internal chaos or distraction? What things (or people, situations, or events) are causing an attachment to the world but not the Lord?

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/21/lent-when-youre-little-enough-that-no-virtual-window-shopping-is-a-sacrifice/feed/0samuel-zeller-118195-unsplashseekingafterhisheartblogI Need You, Lenthttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/14/i-need-you-lent/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/14/i-need-you-lent/#respondThu, 15 Feb 2018 03:56:04 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6483Continue reading I Need You, Lent→]]>My bedroom is in a similar state as my soul. Messy, cluttered, and kind of driving me insane. The thing is both situations are entirely my fault.

Instead of hanging up my clothes, they have become a mountain covering my ottoman. Generally, I forget I even have an ottoman and I’ve become increasingly convinced that most of the things in there mustn’t be very important if I never need to access them. Stacks of unopened letters and papers I should file away add a bit of an overwhelming sense to a place I often use for refuge. Boxes that need to be broken down for recycling, laundry that ought to be done, and stacks upon stacks of books make my bedroom chaotic.

My soul? Pretty much the same situation.

There is a great deal of clearing out that needs to happen. Scripture says to make a highway for Our Lord. But first, I think I need a plow to come through. So it is with a heart that loves simplicity yet finds itself attached to abundance that I eagerly head into Lent.

I need Lent.

I need a time of intentionally striving to conform my will to God’s will. Yes, I know this is supposed to be the path of the ordinary Christian life. Lent, however, is a time to dive into that more fully. Left unattended, my will becomes the predominant force in my life. I thought about going for a run the other day and I didn’t because it sounded a little uncomfortable. Taking a shower this morning, I turned the water to warm-hot and my little “sacrifice” was not nudging the faucet a little further so it was pleasantly hot.

In several occasions lately, I have realized that my will needs to be reigned in and broken a bit. Gently. By a Shepherd who isn’t nearly as harsh with me as I would be with myself. Rather, One with wounds in His hands and a beckoning to come follow Him, to the cross and to a truly abundant life. A life filled with virtue, joy, and love–an abundance that doesn’t create chaos or clutter.

Lent is a time of refocusing on the Lord. Every extra thing we do or thing we give up should be oriented toward a deeper relationship with the Lord. Last year, I gave up coffee. It was a good exercise in recognizing that what I give up shouldn’t make me more prideful. The cross of ashes that I was sealed with this morning calls us to embrace the reality that we are sinners in need of redemption. With that acknowledgement comes the need to admit that I am weak and I need the Lord.

This beautiful penitential season is to be appreciated, not feared or avoided. Jesus said the gate to Heaven is narrow and few make it. I need this time of penance to be stripped of what is unnecessary and to focus on the Lord. If I become small, I might fit through the “eye of the needle” and live the freedom of a life in Christ.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.

Matthew 6:33a

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/14/i-need-you-lent/feed/0Fr. JavierseekingafterhisheartblogTo Make People Fall in Love with Jesushttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/08/to-make-people-fall-in-love-with-jesus/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/08/to-make-people-fall-in-love-with-jesus/#respondThu, 08 Feb 2018 18:30:31 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6481Continue reading To Make People Fall in Love with Jesus→]]>“If I could do the last thirty years over again, I would do it differently. I would try to make people fall in love with Jesus.”

A story was being told about a conversation with an elderly priest nearing death, but it pierced my heart and filled me with a great desire to do the same thing. In teaching Theology, I feel these seemingly conflicting pulls on my heart. I desire to teach them concrete information yet I want to show them how to fall in love with the Lord. These two desires aren’t mutually exclusive, but the balance is a difficult thing to ascertain.

While I wish we could have daily conversations about the matters closest to their hearts or the questions they really want answered, I also have a curriculum to follow. We need to take quizzes and tests. I am required to give them assignments and to grade their work. Yet, somehow, in the midst of the formal education, I am also supposed to provide an education of the heart.

How? I’m uncertain. I know it sometimes happens when their sincere questions spring from the topics at hand. Or during unplanned times of heart sharing and depth. The Holy Spirit will surprisingly show up and elevate my lesson to something far beyond what I could do on my own.

I want to answer all of their questions about the Catholic Church and Jesus Christ. Sometimes they don’t know how to phrase the questions or are uninterested in engaging in a conversation that may challenge their status quo. Despite my desires to help them encounter the Lord, I cannot manufacture an encounter in a 50-minute class period. I attempt to provide opportunities and share experiences I have had, yet with 25-30 students in a class, I am unable to personally reach each person as they need to be reached.

Regardless of the difficulty of it all, the words of the priest stirred my heart. They convicted me and called me to try harder. I often find myself getting tired and slipping into the mentality of just getting by in my classes. Of course, doctrines and teachings must be passed on to these students. Primarily, however, the students should be presented with the great love of God. In falling in love with Him, they will naturally desire to know more about Him. How do I show them how to fall in love with Jesus?

First, I need to intentionally and diligently seek to daily encounter the love of the Lord. If I am not deeply in love with Jesus, how can I provide the opportunity for others to fall in love with Him? It is impossible. Immersed in His love, I can then allow this love to overflow into their lives. When it is obvious that my love for Jesus transforms my life into a life of joy, they will be attracted to the calling of Jesus in their own lives.

Christ is not a figure of the past. He is a person of the present. I am seeking to re-present this reality of Christ dwelling among us still, entering into relationship with us, and revealing His radical love for us. Let our lives be a living testimony of how love can transform.

Love consumes us only in the measure of our self-surrender.

-St. Therese of Lisieux

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/08/to-make-people-fall-in-love-with-jesus/feed/0IMG_5256seekingafterhisheartblogOverjoyedhttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/01/overjoyed/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/01/overjoyed/#respondThu, 01 Feb 2018 21:41:26 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6472Continue reading Overjoyed→]]>It is human nature to have favorites. As a teacher, the same holds true. I often tell my students I’m not supposed to have favorite classes or students. Several classes will guess that they are my favorite, but I can never tell them if they are correct or not. Usually, there are multiple things I appreciate about each class as well as aspects I wish they would change. Yet, as a human, I look forward to some classes more than others. Gone are my first year teacher days of feeling ill at the thought of a particular class. For a variety of reasons, some classes make me a little less excited to teach them.

A couple of weeks ago, I was facing this feeling of not looking forward to a particular class. It wasn’t dread, but I was definitely not excited for them to fill my classroom with their boisterous selves. On Tuesdays, I have “contemplative time” with my classes, ten minutes of silent prayer with a reflection or Scripture passage given as the means to enter into prayer. I’m a little dense, so it took a while, but after a few classes, I recognized that this meditation was speaking to me about that less-than-ideal class.

My dear friend, I am overjoyed to see you. I am with you speaking to you and listening to you. Realize that I am truly present. I am within your soul. Close your ears and eyes to all distractions. Retire within yourself, think my thoughts, and be with me alone.

The word overjoyed stood out to me after several readings. Clarence Enzler wrote this book as though it is Jesus speaking directly to us, that we are Christ’s other self. After considering the beauty of Jesus being overjoyed to see me, I began to desire that this was my response for that particular class. When I come to the Lord with all my worries and failings, He is always pleased that I have entered into His presence. I want this to be my attitude toward this class. Each day, I want to be overjoyed that these particular students are coming into my classroom and sitting in my presence. Recognizing Christ dwelling within them, I want to respond to them as Christ responds to me, even with my less-than-ideal heart.

That day, spending time praying for the feeling of being overjoyed, class went better than usual. I was more excited to see them than I usually was and the often bothersome qualities were more muted that day. However, I cannot claim that I have carried this desire into every school day. I still find myself worrying a bit more about how things will go during class. Upon reflection, I catch myself thinking about just getting through class. That isn’t how I want to view that class period, but it is difficult to take each ordinary day with a sense of newness and joy.

If I’m honest, that attitude isn’t limited to this one class. In life, it is difficult to see each day as new and a source of joy. Too often I am looking forward to the next weekend, the next big event, the next holiday, or the next vacation. The routine day-to-day events seem instead to be sources of frustration, complaining, or indifference. What if I entered each day seeking new ways to encounter the Lord? I once asked a friend how he was and his reply surprised me. “Good. The Lord is new. Every day.” I found myself wishing that was the response I would feel compelled to give.

Perhaps my experience is key to understanding how a new joy could be a daily experience. My prayer started with focusing on the Lord and recognizing that He is overjoyed with my presence. After spending several minutes focusing on that reality, I was drawn to consider that the Lord’s response should also be my response. I didn’t go into prayer asking the Lord how I could love this class more. Rather, I went into prayer focused on being with the Lord and He directed my heart to what He desired me to alter. If I continue seeking the Lord for the gift of Himself, perhaps He will continue to direct my heart to the alterations I should make in order to live each day with new joy.

It is always springtime in the heart that loves God.

– St. John Vianney

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]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/02/01/overjoyed/feed/024468_10150177597025484_3472412_nseekingafterhisheartblogPraising at the Potter’s Handshttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/01/24/praising-at-the-potters-hands/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/01/24/praising-at-the-potters-hands/#respondThu, 25 Jan 2018 04:43:50 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6467Continue reading Praising at the Potter’s Hands→]]>The other night, I gathered with a group of people to enter into praise and worship. As we praised, I was forced to acknowledge that I so often forget to praise God in my daily life. I am thankful for many things, but too infrequently do I stop and simply praise God for who He is, independent of anything He has done for me.

As I sang, I couldn’t help but consider how it pleased God to hear hymns rising amidst the violence that surrounds our world. To the unbeliever, the songs of praise would seem ridiculous. How could we praise a being we claim is all-powerful while conflict seems to send ripples of tension across the surface of the earth? Even as I praised God, I could imagine a person gesturing to point after point of contention. How is God good here? How is God loving here?

I don’t always know the solution or have the knack of finding God perfectly in all things. Yet I know that in a world of aching longing, He is found in the small and large moments. In those moments I spent in the church with others, praising God, I felt His presence, but primarily I felt a desire to respond to God as we ought. Too often caught up in asking for things or pouring out my feelings, I wanted time to just adore the God who Is.

The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord:“Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will let you hear my words.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.

Then the word of the Lord came to me:“O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? says the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.”

Jeremiah 18:1-6

The Lord knows what He is doing. As He molds our lives through His fingers, as He shapes the world we see around us, He is doing as it seems good to Him. From our perspective, the world might seem in constant upheaval, as it might to the clay that spins senselessly on the potter’s wheel. It cannot grasp how it is being formed or what the finished product will be. I, too, must yield to the work of the Father’s hands and accept when He reworks me into another vessel for His use.

That clay, falling apart and constantly being reformed, praises God in its very being. And it finds itself always close to the potter. The stretch of change might be painful, but I want to spend my time praising the God who is so near and so closely involved in the intricacies of my life. When all seems spoiled, I want to turn to the Lord and thank Him for being with me in the ruins. When all seems glorious, I want to thank Him for being with me in the beauty. Though my situation and perspective may change, He never does.

]]>https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/01/24/praising-at-the-potters-hands/feed/032570_10150199211910484_5921553_nseekingafterhisheartblogAirport Intentionalityhttps://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/01/13/airport-intentionality/
https://seekingafterhisheart.com/2018/01/13/airport-intentionality/#commentsSat, 13 Jan 2018 20:36:21 +0000http://seekingafterhisheart.com/?p=6460Continue reading Airport Intentionality→]]>I spent thirteen hours in an airport a little over one week ago on an unfulfilled quest to conquer “Winter Storm Grayson” for the sake of a friend. During my hours of meandering around the airport and having my flights rescheduled time after time, I saw one person who seemed to be on a different schedule from the rest of the masses. Although I only saw him for a minute, I couldn’t help but notice he was passing his time in a slower, more intentional way than others.

Generally, I’m not that person who is clandestinely taking pictures of other people. But something about him captured my attention very quickly. He slowly walked the long corridor and stopped briefly in front of each picture, taking it in and considering it. I understand the rush between flights and short layovers that prevent others from taking in their surroundings. Yet it wasn’t as though it took him twenty minutes to look at the pictures. He was in my line of sight for only a couple of minutes.

Being intentional and observant doesn’t necessarily require vast amounts of time. It simply means passing through life a little slower and being more aware of my surroundings. Moments of beauty don’t always come from travels and exciting adventures. Sometimes it is the way the snow layers gently on the deck railing or a student asking me about my day. Or the glimpse of a gentleman observing an old picture. Intentionality seems to be closely mixed with the practice of gratitude. Truly seeing the varied moments of a day causes me to be more grateful.