EDhttp://www.scarleteen.com/taxonomy/term/41/all
enYoung people need our help and support. We need yours.http://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/young_people_need_our_help_and_support_we_need_yours
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Heather Corinna with Angus Johnston </div>
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<div class="field-label">Introduction:&nbsp;</div>
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As we begin our 15th year, we need help to keep Scarleteen up and thriving. Find out how just $20 a month can improve the lives of young people around the world. </div>
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<p>Scarleteen is one of the world’s most respected and valued resources for sexuality education, both online and offline. We play a very important role in the lives of young people.</p>
<p>In 2012, as is typical for us most years, we served more than five million people internationally, <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2011/10/04/scarleteen_by_the_numbers_the_results_of_our_demographics_survey">most between the ages of 16 and 21</a>.</p>
<p>We helped them navigate emotions, desires and pressures they faced. We helped those of them engaging in <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a> or relationships to have better sex and healthier relationships. We helped them prevent unintended pregnancies. We helped them heal from assault and <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3401"><dfn title="Purposeful harm or mistreatment of another person, which can be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual. An ongoing pattern or cycle of such mistreatment or harm can characterize an abusive relationship.
">abuse</dfn></a>. We helped them better understand their own bodies, hearts and minds, and helped them to better care for all of those parts of who they are and make their own, unique best choices. We helped them come out to parents and friends, and to better communicate with many different people in their lives about sex and sexuality. We helped them get through hard times, and helped them become even more amazing than they already are. We helped them through their adolescence and emerging adulthood, particularly around one of those most complex parts of both: their sexuality.</p>
<p>We were here for them, and want to remain here for them. But to make that happen, we need you to be here for us.</p>
<p>We served those five million young people last year, in all of those ways and more, on a budget of only $45,000.</p>
<p>Not four and a half million dollars. Not four hundred and fifty thousand. Just forty-five thousand dollars.</p>
<p>For every dollar we had to work with, we helped more than a hundred people. Most accessed the thousands of pieces of accessible, original, progressive content in our archives.&nbsp; Some talked with us directly, asking one question and getting one, sometimes life-changing, answer. Others engaged with us in conversations, based on their expressed needs, for days, weeks or months. (Some we’ve been talking with for years.) Some used our message boards or other channels to get peer support, having conversations about sensitive subjects in a <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/you_have_entered_a_bullyfree_zone">safe space</a>. Some use our <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/find_a_doc">growing database to find in-person services</a>, or got a personal referral to in-person services they needed from us via our direct services. Some benefit from the face-to-face outreach we do. Some use what we offer on our <a href="https://twitter.com/Scarleteen">social</a> <a href="http://hellyeahscarleteen.tumblr.com/">media</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Scarleteen/15025045594">channels</a> to interact and expand their sexuality education, or to find other credible, reliable places to explore these topics. We're sure many will now also use our <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2013/02/10/scarleteen_live">new live service</a> to connect with us for help in 2013.</p>
<p>We also served fellow educators, healthcare providers, parents and other youth allies and advocates with information and support they needed to work with and support youth themselves. Scarleteen remains, as it has been since we first started in the late nineties, a <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/whos_been_talking_about_sex_education_at_scarleteen">widely acclaimed</a> example of ongoing excellence in sex education.</p>
<p>And we did all of that at a total cost of <em>less than a penny for each person we served</em>. That's an incredible feat, and we're pretty proud of ourselves for doing it, particularly since it makes us the most cost-effective sexuality education and support service for young people — maybe for people of any age — there is.</p>
<p>As impressive as it is, we can't go on this way forever. Our current budget doesn't give us the stability we need to keep going at this level, and it certainly doesn’t give us the ability to grow in the ways that the young people we serve need us to.</p>
<h3>That’s where you come in.</h3>
<p>To keep doing what we do sustainably, we need around $88,000 to work with this year. That’s about $240 a day.<strong> </strong>Getting to that $240 daily means just $20 a month from you. For twenty bucks a month you can know that everything Scarleteen did for a day happened because of you. One whole day of Scarleteen for young people, thanks to your awesome self.</p>
<p>That’s not just a pitch. It’s real. Less than ten percent of our budget goes or will go to administrative costs. None of it goes to marketing. All of our energy, our passion, and our commitment goes directly to the young people we work with and work for. And you can be what makes that happen.</p>
<p>For a donation of $20 a month, sustained for one year, you can be the reason Scarleteen happened on that day. If you like, we can even let the world know. In recognition of your $20 monthly donation, after one year we can announce on our front page that you — or someone else you'd like to dedicate your day to — were what kept Scarleteen going that day. We’ll shout it from the rooftops, to our five thousand friends on Facebook, our ten thousand Twitter followers and our fifty thousand message board users.</p>
<p><div class="pullquote"><hr /><div class="quotecontent"><span class="inline inline-middle"><img src="http://www.scarleteen.com/sites/files/scarleteen/images/stsponsorspot.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image image-_original " width="186" height="116" /></span><br />
<strong>In for that $20 monthly now? </strong>You can <a href="https://npo.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=1005181&amp;code=STPRIMARY">click here to set that up via Network for Good</a>, or <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/donate.html">click here to do so via PayPal</a>. <strong>Want to check out our sponsor for today if we've got one?</strong> Take a look at <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/">the front page</a>, right next to our current poll. Some of our current donors are already at the daily sponsorship level. Hooray for them!</div><hr /></div>If the twenty thousand people Scarleteen typically reaches in a single day gave us just five dollars each, we’d reach our budget easy, with money to spare. But most of them can’t, and they shouldn’t have to: essential health information and support is something we strongly believe should be free to all the young people who want and need it.</p>
<p>So if you can, we hope that you will. We show up every day to help them out: we're hoping that today, you will, too.<strong></strong></p>
<p>We’re in our fifteenth year now, but because we’ve always struggled financially, we’ve never been able to achieve everything we have the desire and the capacity to do. If you sponsor a day, you won’t just be underwriting everything that Scarleteen is, you’ll be supporting all we can be. Here’s what an $88,000 annual budget would mean for us, and for the young people we serve:</p>
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<li>Improvements to our mobile site so young people can access us more easily from more places.</li>
<li>A Scarleteen <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3309"><dfn title="A procedure to intentionally end a pregnancy before a birth. Miscarriage is also sometimes called "spontaneous abortion," even though it is usually not intended.
">abortion</dfn></a> and unplanned <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3390"><dfn title="The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be regnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.">pregnancy</dfn></a> fund, long-intended and already planned for 2013.</li>
<li>A part-time paid staff member to assist with the work of the organization, freeing up resources for projects that we haven’t been able to prioritize in the past.</li>
<li>Print materials for distribution at clinics and schools.</li>
<li>Greater outreach to, and support for, volunteers, including funds for them to attend conferences — helping to improve their work at Scarleteen and to support them in their growing leadership as young activists and educators.</li>
<li>More time for grant-writing, which means more revenue, which means more of all of the above.</li>
<li>And on top of all that, I’d reach a personal milestone — for the first time as Scarleteen’s Founder and Executive Director, I’d actually make a living wage.</li>
<li>Less worry about and scrambling for funds to pay our bills so we can all do our jobs better.</li>
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<p>Reaching this funding threshold can allow us to begin our fifteenth year in such a way that we know we can finally more easily sustain and manage the organization going forward, and continue to evolve and grow as creatively and progressively as we have throughout our history.</p>
<p><strong>Twenty dollars.</strong> For all the young people who express a strong want and need for all we offer them: who thank us every day for what they find here, and who frequently express that in finding us, they found a lifeline they needed to help them navigate one of the more challenging parts of growing up and being a person. Who write us thank you letters years after they stopped needing Scarleteen to let us know how much it helped them when they were young. Twenty dollars to serve a thousand young people: we think that's pretty fantastic. We don't even need $20 a month from that many people. Accounting for the private grant we receive and our current donors contributions, we only need that $20 a month, sustained over one year, from around 180 more people to meet our goal.</p>
<p>If you have the means to donate more than that, that's fantastic. Wahoo! And thanks! But if you don't, that $20 a month, once a month, helps us out tremendously, as does a donation of any amount. And it doesn't just help us:&nbsp; whatever you donate is what helps bring Scarleteen to millions of young people every year, changing their lives for the better and making you both our superhero <em>and</em> theirs.</p>
<p>Young people need our help and support. To keep giving that to them, we need yours.</p>
<p>If you can be one of those people giving a monthly recurring donation of just $20 each month, the one who keeps Scarleteen open for a whole day, we’ll let the world know what you did. But more importantly, we’ll know. Our users will know. And you’ll know.</p>
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<h2>Please Help Support Scarleteen Now</h2>
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<li>To make a secure, tax-deductible donation by credit card online through Network for Good: <strong><a href="https://npo.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=1005181&amp;code=STPRIMARY">CLICK HERE</a></strong>.</li>
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<li>To make a tax-deductible donation by mail, make your check out to The Center for Sex and Culture, writing "For Scarleteen" in the memo. Mail to: The Center for Sex and Culture, c/o Carol Queen, 2215-R Market Street PMB 455, San Francisco, CA, 94114. They will mail a written acknowledgment of your donation to you. <em>The Center for Sex and Culture</em> is a fiscal sponsor for Scarleteen.</li>
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<li>To donate securely by credit card, online check or account using PayPal: <strong><a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/help_sustain_scarleteen">CLICK HERE</a></strong>. <em>Donations made this way are not tax-deductible.</em></li>
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<li>To donate by check or money order directly: make checks payable to Scarleteen and send to: Scarleteen, 1752 NW Market Street, #524, Seattle, WA, 98107. <em>Donations made this way are not tax-deductible.</em></li>
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<p><em>If you would like to support us in some other way, such as through advertising, sponsorship or by volunteering your time or if you have any questions about donating, we'd love to hear from you. You can contact us via e-mail <a href="http://www.scarleteen.com/contact"><strong>here</strong></a>.</em></p>
<p>Thank you,<em><br />
</em></p>
<p><span class="inline inline-left"><img src="http://www.scarleteen.com/sites/files/scarleteen/images/sig.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image image-_original " width="200" height="58" /></span><strong></strong></p>
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<p><strong>Heather Corinna</strong><br />
<em>Scarleteen Founder and Executive Director </em></p>
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EtcReadadolescencecarecharitydonorEDeducationgiftgivinghealthhelphistoryinforationinternationalonlineorganizationscarleteenservicesexsexualsponsorsupportyoung adultyouthWed, 13 Feb 2013 15:01:48 +0000Heather Corinna6240 at http://www.scarleteen.comWhy Childbirth Ed is Sex Edhttp://www.scarleteen.com/blog/alison_cole/2009/12/05/why_childbirth_ed_is_sex_ed
<p><a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">Sex</dfn></a> leads to <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3390"><dfn title="The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be regnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.">pregnancy</dfn></a> leads to childbirth.</p>
<p>This, of course, is a huge oversimplification. It is possible to have lots of satisfying sex that doesn’t lead to pregnancy because a <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3324"><dfn title="One of the two external reproductive organs of male-assigned people. ">penis</dfn></a> never goes into a <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3323"><dfn title="The internal passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus.">vagina</dfn></a>. It is possible to have chemical or mechanical problems of the reproductive system that make it impossible or unlikely for penis-in-vagina sex to produce pregnancy. People can also have penis-in-vagina sex while using any of a number of chemical, mechanical or physiological methods to prevent pregnancy (<a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3402"><dfn title="Devices, medications or behaviors used to intentionally aim to prevent pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.
">contraception</dfn></a>).</p>
<p>But, penis-in-vagina sex has been until very recently in human history the only way to make more humans, and it is only recently that it has been as simple (and difficult) as taking a medicine to prevent pregnancy.</p>
<p>When pregnancy occurs as a result of sex, it may not necessarily lead to childbirth. Genetically abnormal embryos often spontaneously abort, and one pregnancy out of five will end spontaneously before halfway through the pregnancy (20 weeks). Many women choose to end unwanted pregnancies through induced <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3309"><dfn title="A procedure to intentionally end a pregnancy before a birth. Miscarriage is also sometimes called "spontaneous abortion," even though it is usually not intended.
">abortion</dfn></a>, even in countries where abortion is illegal, clandestine, and dangerous because it is practiced outside the reach of evidence-based healthcare. Illegal abortion is a leading contributor to maternal mortality worldwide. In countries where abortion is legal, women have the choice to end an unwanted pregnancy with the help of a trusted healthcare professional and at little risk to their health or well-being. So, women can be pregnant without ever having given birth or having a child.</p>
<p>For most women who choose to get pregnant, sex gets them pregnant, though some use reproductive technology like insemination or in vitro fertilization to conceive. However, all unplanned pregnancies, which is about half of all pregnancies, occur because of penis-in-vagina sex. So, although it is a generalization, it is still generally true: <strong>sex leads to pregnancy leads to childbirth. </strong></p>
<p>Knowledge is power. Sex ed helps us take charge of our <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3348"><dfn title="About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.">sexual</dfn></a> and reproductive health, and an important part of reproductive health is the part where you’re reproducing: <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3391"><dfn title="The onset of pregnancy, marked by implantation of the blastocyst into the endometrium (the lining of the uterus).">conception</dfn></a>, pregnancy and birth. Sexuality is affected by pregnancy, and childbirth is accomplished with the same hormones and muscular contractions as <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3354"><dfn title="An event typically in response to physical or intellectual sexual stimulation, controlled by the involuntary nervous system. Orgasm often results in muscle contractions in and around the genitals, other muscular spasms throughout the body, and a feeling of sexual and/or tension release.">orgasm</dfn></a>. Sex, pregnancy, and birth are biologically and physiologically linked. Childbirth ed is sex ed.</p>
<p>All animals are built to reproduce themselves, and we humans do it with sex, pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. The pregnancy and birth of your child is your first act as a parent, and as parents you want to make the best choices you can for your children and family. By getting educated about the physiologic process of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding, you set yourself up for a healthy reproductive life, and prepare yourself to be an informed consumer of the health-care you receive during pregnancy and childbirth.</p>
<p>I want to bring childbirth ed to Scarleteen because when women and families are educated about birth it can be an empowering, transformative and even sexual experience in the life of a family.</p>
http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/alison_cole/2009/12/05/why_childbirth_ed_is_sex_ed#commentsabortionbirthbirth controlchildbirthchoicesdeliveryEDeducationhealthinformationintercoursepregnancyreproductionsexsexualsexualitySat, 05 Dec 2009 17:22:05 +0000Alison Cole2844 at http://www.scarleteen.comHe Can’t Orgasm … Is Diabetes to Blame?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/he_can%E2%80%99t_orgasm_%E2%80%A6_is_diabetes_to_blame
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>I just stumbled across your wonderful site totally by accident and am really hoping you will be able to help me with a problem which is keeping me awake at night. I’ve been <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3439"><dfn title="Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.">sexually active</dfn></a> since I was 16. Since then, all of my male sexual partners have ejaculated during <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a>, but my current boyfriend is having a problem. This is affecting our sex life as I feel I must be doing something wrong. He has tried to reassure me he often hasn't been able to <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3354"><dfn title="An event typically in response to physical or intellectual sexual stimulation, controlled by the involuntary nervous system. Orgasm often results in muscle contractions in and around the genitals, other muscular spasms throughout the body, and a feeling of sexual and/or tension release.">orgasm</dfn></a> in the past with other partners and that he enjoys sex with me nonetheless - that he doesn’t have to come to be satisfied. But I don't fully enjoy myself knowing that he won't reach orgasm; it doesn't seem fair.</p>
<p>I know you recently answered a question in the same vein but I think my query is different as he is diabetic. I have recently heard that diabetes can affect sex and am wondering if this is true. He doesn't seem aware of the connection and I don't want to mention it without getting the facts first. Please help me, I love him dearly and in all other aspects our <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3307"><dfn title="Some kind of ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.
There are all kinds of relationships: family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships and sexual relationships are a few, and sometimes those will overlap where we have more than one kind of relationship with someone. Sometimes people use the word relationship to only mean a romantic, "serious" or committed relationship, even though that's not all this word means.">relationship</dfn></a> is fantastic...but it doesn't fell right for me to be getting all the <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3348"><dfn title="About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.">sexual</dfn></a> pleasure.</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/he_can%E2%80%99t_orgasm_%E2%80%A6_is_diabetes_to_blame">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> BodiesGenderSexualitySexual HealthAdviceanxietychronic illnesscommunicatecommunicationdepressiondesirediabetesdiabeticEDejaculationerectile dysfunctionerectionillnesintercourseorgasmpleasureprocessresponseretrograde ejaculationsexsexualsexual responsesphinctertalktalkingWed, 10 Jun 2009 06:35:14 +0000Stephanie2514 at http://www.scarleteen.comHow can we make sure he stays erect for intercourse?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/how_can_we_make_sure_he_stays_erect_for_intercourse
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>Both me and my boyfriend are virgins so I'm not really sure what is normal. The two times we have tried to have <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a> he has lost his <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3376"><dfn title="When a body part, such as the penis or parts of the vulva, becomes filled with blood and enlarges and/or becomes more firm.">erection</dfn></a>. He is completely turned on before hand, but as soon as the clothes come off and it's time to actually have sex, he loses it. He's coming back into town next week since he's been on vacation so is there anything I can do so that this time so we actually have sex?</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/how_can_we_make_sure_he_stays_erect_for_intercourse">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> AdviceanxietyarousalcarecomfortEDerectionfirst timegetting it upintercoursemenpartnerpenispleasurerelaxationsexsexual responsestresswomenThu, 31 Jul 2008 18:58:06 +0000Heather Corinna2043 at http://www.scarleteen.comWhy can't I get it up?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/why_cant_i_get_it_up
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>Okay, here's my dilemma. I am 16 and <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3439"><dfn title="Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.">sexually active</dfn></a>. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We've used to have <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a> perfectly with no problems until about a couple of months ago. Now, I can't even get an <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3376"><dfn title="When a body part, such as the penis or parts of the vulva, becomes filled with blood and enlarges and/or becomes more firm.">erection</dfn></a> and I don't ever feel horny anymore at all. I ask all my friends if they have this problem but they say no, they can get erections very quickly. I'm having a lot of trouble with this because I thought at this age teens are able to get it up quick and easy. I don't know if it's a <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3445"><dfn title="A steroid hormone in people's bodies which is often blamed for a whole lot of things it isn't actually responsible for.">testosterone</dfn></a> problem or not but it's starting to wear on me. I'm in good shape, but I smoke a little bit. Basically, I've completely lost my <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3348"><dfn title="About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.">sexual</dfn></a> appetite. This isn't right. Someone help!</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/why_cant_i_get_it_up">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> BodiesGenderSexualityAdviceanatomyarousaldesireEDerectile dysfunctionerectionmalemenpenisreproductionsexWed, 13 Feb 2008 00:03:41 +0000Sarah1595 at http://www.scarleteen.comDelayed ejaculation -- what does our future hold?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/delayed_ejaculation_what_does_our_future_hold
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>My boyfriend has delayed <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3449"><dfn title="In a sexual context, a discharge of genital fluid, usually (but not always) as a result of sexual stimulation and/or orgasm.">ejaculation</dfn></a>. I was wondering what I could do to help and what this means for us as a couple? Also in the future are there ways of me getting pregnant if he still has this?</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/delayed_ejaculation_what_does_our_future_hold">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> AdviceboyfriendDelayed ejaculationEDejaculationerectile dysfunctionsexual dysfunctionWed, 12 Dec 2007 00:54:19 +0000Lauren1394 at http://www.scarleteen.comNo erection four times now: what can I do?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/no_erection_four_times_now_what_can_i_do
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>First of all, let me say I'm impressed by your mission here. A lot of people's first <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a> would be improved with real sex ed. My particular problem concerns erectile dysfunction. I'm only 19, yet I've experienced this problem 4 times. I've read that this can occasionally happen even to younger guys, but the last two were consecutive and I'm worried about how patient my girlfriend is. Is there anything I can do for this particular problem, maybe drugs?</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/no_erection_four_times_now_what_can_i_do">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> BodiesGenderSexualityAdvicealternativesarousalEDerectile dysfunctionerectionintercoursemenorgasmpartnerpenispleasurerelationshipssexsexual responsestressworryWed, 22 Aug 2007 17:24:04 +0000Heather Corinna1018 at http://www.scarleteen.comHow can I stay hard for our first time?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/how_can_i_stay_hard_for_our_first_time
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>I am a 21 year old guy and I am a virgin. So is my girlfriend. We wanted to wait until we were 21. </p>
<p>We were planing on having <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a> for the first time last week. The night we tried it, I was very aroused and hard right up until it was time for me to enter her. As soon as I was ready to go in, I lost my <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3376"><dfn title="When a body part, such as the penis or parts of the vulva, becomes filled with blood and enlarges and/or becomes more firm.">erection</dfn></a>. Realizing that we couldn't complete the act, we gave each other manual orgasms. (As soon as that started, I got very erect again). Every time we try to have sex I have the same problem. I am hard right before, I can get hard right after, but not when it counts. What can I do to avoid this? Should I drink a little alcohol before to loosen up? Take pills? Any advice will be helpful.</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/how_can_i_stay_hard_for_our_first_time">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> AdvicealcoholdrugsEDerectionfirst timeintercoursemenpartnerperformancepleasurepressurerelaxationsexworryWed, 20 Jun 2007 16:53:00 +0000Heather Corinna746 at http://www.scarleteen.comED: Why You Don't Have to Get So Down About Not Getting It Uphttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/gender/ed_why_you_dont_have_to_get_so_down_about_not_getting_it_up
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Josh Cuppage </div>
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You&#039;re forgiven if you think that even a little difficulty in this department means that you should start stocking up on Viagra. There are a number of falsehoods about ED floating around from schoolyards to saloons. </div>
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<p>The words 'impotence' and 'erectile dysfunction' (ED) can strike fear into the hearts of even the most reasonable men. After all, for ages men have been conditioned to feel as though they should always want <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3311"><dfn title="Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. The word sex also means a way people, animals or plants are classified based on their chromosomes, genitals or reproductive organs.">sex</dfn></a>, and that they should always be able to provide it to any willing <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3385"><dfn title="In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term "partner" can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. "Partner" can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.">partner</dfn></a>.</p>
<p>For its part, ED is generally defined as a recurring condition in which a man is unable to get or keep an <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3376"><dfn title="When a body part, such as the penis or parts of the vulva, becomes filled with blood and enlarges and/or becomes more firm.">erection</dfn></a>.</p>
<p>You're forgiven if you think that even a little difficulty in this department means that you should start stocking up on Viagra. There are a number of falsehoods about ED floating around from schoolyards to saloons.</p>
<p><strong>ED Mythology</strong> First off, there are some myths that need debunking:<br />
<strong>*</strong> <em>If I have trouble getting hard once, it means I'm impotent.</em> Not so. Not so by a longshot. It's probably not a stretch to say that almost every <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3439"><dfn title="Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.">sexually active</dfn></a> man on the planet has had difficulty getting hard at least once. If you have trouble getting hard only once, you're in the minority.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> <em>Well, if I'm having trouble getting an erection, that must mean that I have a lower sex-drive, or I don't really want sex, right?</em> Not at all. The problem here isn't with sex, it's with erections, and one doesn't necessarily equal the other. Besides, great sex is very possible without erections.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> <em>If I do have ED, it's the end of my sex life.</em> Hardly! There's much more to sex than <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3333"><dfn title="When a penis is inserted into and held by the vagina while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of either sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.">penis-in-vagina intercourse</dfn></a>. In fact, if you haven't already explored many of the other possibilities to a great sex life, this is the perfect opportunity. Explore Scarleteen for some enlightenment, if you aren't sure where to start. That aside, there are treatments if your ED is chronic. Read on to find out about them.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> <em>But I can't have it, only men over 50 get ED.</em> Yes, as men get older, the likelihood that they'll deal with ED increases, but by no means is ED limited to men over 50, or 60, or even 20. No matter your age, there are various factors that could contribute to ED.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> <em>I should learn to live with my ED.</em> No, you shouldn't. And cheer up, there's no need to be resigned to a life without erections. Moreover, the emotional stress that it brings about can be the worst part. If your condition is recurring, see a doctor, there's a solid chance that good will come of it.</p>
<p><strong>Causes of ED</strong> Erections start in the brain, and end up... well, you know where they end up. <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3508"><dfn title="A state of sexual excitement and interest that sends messages to the brain which create physical changes and sensations, such as increased blood pressure, erection, lubrication, loosening of the vaginal or anal muscles, and increased physical sensitivity.">Arousal</dfn></a> happens in your brain, and a chemical reaction allows the muscle that keeps blood from flowing to the <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3324"><dfn title="One of the two external reproductive organs of male-assigned people. ">penis</dfn></a> to relax. Between the brain and the penis, many things can happen prevent erections. That means that there are a number of possible causes. They're all grouped into two broad categories.</p>
<p>If your condition occurred without any buildup - any warning - it's likely psychological - perhaps tied to stress in one way or another. You and your partner will have to work together to get past this sort of problem, but it's one that will likely get better with time. You may eventually find the need to talk with a therapist about it, but not everyone does.</p>
<p>If you've noticed however, that over a longer <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3435"><dfn title="The fluid, which contains blood, from the shedding of the uterine lining usually at the end of each fertility cycle. Or, that flow you perhaps may have experienced once while shouting, "Oh thank GAWD!"">period</dfn></a> of time, erections have been fewer and farther between, it could be a medical problem that's causing the difficulty. Medical problems like this usually worsen gradually, until the person experiencing them is completely unable to get an erection. If you fit this description, a visit to the doctor is unavoidable. It could be damaged nerves, or blocked arteries that are causing the ED, and that's serious stuff.</p>
<p>Outside of those two broad categories, ED has many potential causes and contributing factors, some of which you can control, and some of which you can't.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Stress and other psychological factors. This is a very common cause of ED, and it often sets off a vicious cycle of 'performance anxiety' that can be difficult to break out of. The key is to relax. It can be tough to avoid, but worrying will only make the problem worse. If this is the problem for you, the best first step is to tell your partner(s) about it, and ask them for help. Once they know about it, it will only get easier.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Cardiovascular diseases. These can make it more difficult for blood to flow to the penis. If this is a cause of your ED, there is little you can do to alleviate the ED in particular. Rather, you simply need to follow the medical treatments that your doctor has prescribed.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Medications. Various medications including (but not limited to) those for depression, insomnia and kidney and liver diseases can affect the nerve impulses that lead to erections. Common medications such as antihistamines, appetite suppressants and blood pressure medications can also have the same effects. If you feel this could be causing or contributing to your ED, do not stop taking your medication before consulting your doctor. There may be other treatments or alternatives that could work.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Diabetes. This can damage the nerves that control blood flow.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Smoking. Smoking damages blood vessels, and so blood flow to the penis is reduced.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Alcohol or drug use and fatigue. These can contribute to, or cause ED in both the short and long-term.</p>
<p><strong>Treatments for ED</strong> There are many treatments available to ED patients. The use of these treatments depends on many factors: age, physical, mental and social conditions and others. None of them should be undertaken without first consulting a doctor.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Therapy. Obviously, this is only effective for those patients whose difficulties are not physical.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong>Hormone treatments. This works only in cases where hormonal imbalances are the main cause.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Vacuum devices. A simple device that works exactly as the name implies, like a vacuum. This is primarily used to treat those with blood disorders, or who use blood thinners.</p>
<p><strong>*</strong> Surgery. If your ED is due to damaged nerves, arteries or cardiovascular problems, you might want to consider surgery.</p>
<p>Again, it's important to ask your doctor about all the potential treatments that could work for you. Find out about the pros and cons of each. Though, if you're talking with your doctor about it, you're already taking that most important first step.</p>
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GenderSexualityEDerectile dysfunctionerectionsmalemale sexualitysexual dysfunctionFri, 20 Apr 2007 17:31:22 +0000Heather Corinna9 at http://www.scarleteen.com