A Chat With Sophia Stone author of Mormon Diaries

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I’m happy to be part of the tour
for Mormon Diaries. Due to my Kindle worries, I haven’t been able to read the
entire book, which the author kindly provided, but what I’ve read so far has
kept me riveted to the pages.

Mormonism is one of the newest religions on the
landscape in Jamaica, so of course, I was interested in knowing more about it. To be honest, I've wondered why any black Jamaican would be part of a religion that is reputed to look at Negroes as unworthy. Still, Mormonism has taken root on the island.

I now invite you to take a peek at aspects of Sophia Stone’s spiritual journey. I haven't heard from her yet, so I'm hoping she's safe and sound after Hurricane Sandy.

What does the
ornament on the cover stand for?

As a child I was taught that the only way I could experience
true joy was by living the Gospel of Jesus Christ as found in Mormonism. The
ornament is symbolic of that joy. Or, more particularly, what I feared I’d lose
if I ever stopped believing in The Church.

How is your family
coping with this? Do they support you?

Well, it depends on
what part of my family you’re talking about. My kids have been great, but
they’re pretty young. I’m continually amazed by the open mindedness and trust
of small children. I really think Jesus knew what he was talking about when he
said that unless we become as little children we cannot enter the kingdom of
heaven.

My husband, on the
other hand, is having a really hard time. We’ve had to do some negotiating
about the kid’s religious education. He wants them to believe in Mormonism and
is very much attached to the outcome. The thought of his kids choosing to leave
the LDS church is absolutely devastating to him.

There are certain
things that (for him) are non-negotiable. The kids WILL get baptized at age
eight whether I want that for them or not. The kids will continue to go to the
Mormon church each Sunday until they turn twelve. (He’d said eighteen
originally, but has since softened). 10% of his income will continue to go to
The Church whether or not I agree with that particular donation. We’re a single
income family so that’s a pretty big deal, but he’s frightened, truly
frightened that if he stops paying a full tithe, he’ll lose his job.

Although, in
fairness, he say it has nothing to do with fear. Rather, he has faith in the
principle of tithing. God will bless him for his financial sacrifice.

As for the rest of
the family, my mother is struggling, the brother just younger than me acts as
if he doesn’t know, my older brother has been accepting, and my sister is
unpredictable. I’m not even sure how to characterize that relationship at this
point. So overall it’s been a mixed bag where tolerance is concerned. As for
support—no, I do not have family support. Nor is it something I can reasonably
expect.

How
do you get someone who thinks you’ve been influenced by Satan to consider your point of view?

Short answer: you don’t.

Long answer: It’s odd to be on the other end of the “hate
the sin, love the sinner” rhetoric. I always considered myself a fairly good,
honest person. And I have to admit that I don’t feel like a different person
just because I don’t believe in Mormonism like I used to. Certain things just
don’t change, you know? I still like chocolate milk shakes. I still like
people. I feel, in many ways, closer to God than I did a year ago. So it’s been
kind of shocking to have people who always trusted me assume the worst.

How has writing
about your struggles helped you?

There’s a saying that writing is cheaper than therapy, and I
can attest to that. There’s no time limit on how long I can type away on my
keyboard when I’m having a bad day. I don’t have to worry about the paper
judging me. Plus, it’s helped me to put things in perspective.

What kinds of
reactions have you had from your Mormon author friends?

This has been similar to my family response—lots of
condemnation, lots of avoidance, lots of judgment, and lots of gratitude. Yes,
I know, it seems odd that I’d hear gratitude from LDS author friends who are
faithful in the church. But apparently there are people who struggle in
silence, unable to tell a soul how they feel without losing those most dear to
them. That’s the reason the Disaffected Mormon Underground (DAMU) exists. It
fills a palpable need.

Who should read
your book?

Anyone who wants to understand Mormonism. Please don’t
misread that to mean my book is factually perfect. It’s not. It is based on my
experience, and everyone’s reality is different. But I stand by my claim that
people who leave Mormonism are often in an isolating place. It’s hard for an
orthodox believer to understand why anyone would leave. It’s hard for those
who’ve never been Mormon to understand why leaving is such a big deal. To both
these groups, I’d say, “please read this!” Understanding is vital.

--

The Book

Brought up in a religious home,
Sophia believes the only way to have a forever family is by following church
leaders and obediently choosing the right. She goes to the right school,
marries the right man in the right place, and does the right thing by staying
home to raise her children. But when she starts asking questions about grace,
love, and the nature of God, she realizes her spiritual struggles could rip her
family apart.

What people are saying about
Mormon Diaries…

“Sophia Stone has a fine eye and
a searching heart. Her story of growing up in and reaching through her
Mormonism for a deeper, more authentic spirituality reflects all the ways that
religion can both keep us satisfied with easy answers and push us to more
difficult and complicated realizations. We need a hundred more books like this
one . . . “ –Joanna Brooks, author of The Book of Mormon Girl

“Sophia Stone captured my
attention from the beginning. This collection of personal essays, about
questioning the legitimacy of Mormonism after having faith in the religion for
the first 30-something years of her life, is not just a controversial quake to
a reader’s heart and soul. Stone’s voice is brave, bold and intriguing. And
surprisingly relatable to someone who is not religious.”—Jessica Bell, author
of String Bridge

11 comments:

Your book has intrigued me. I intend to buy it and read it soon. I grew up in a scientifically minded household, and I'm now 41 and atheist (big surprise to no one). But living in Utah with few actual friends and Mormon co-workers who step suspiciously around me and eyeing me as if I was some kind of strange person makes me want to see what it's like from your point of view.

I want to tell you that if you left this organization, you have great courage. I think that religions have tremendous peer pressure on those who are members. I don't understand how those involved can possibly see that this is right to do to someone especially given that none of their claims will withstand scientific inquiry of any kind.

Like Michael, I grew up in a science-minded home, with drifts of agnosticism, atheism, humanism, and other isms floating throughout my childhood. I ended up, somehow, fairly firm in my faith (although still a thrasher with religion). This book sounds very intriguing. After reading Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven, this might make an interesting continuation of the story. I'm intrigued. Thanks for the review!

Michael, I have to admit that I've grown to really enjoy talking with atheists. Most of them are so very logical and to top it off, tend not to feel threatened by honest questions. As far as pressure to believe one way, I think most religions put some pressure on their adherents to believe in a certain way. Determining what is reasonable and what is extreme is another matter, though. I hope you enjoy the book.

Sheena-kay, I answer questions about Mormonism on twitter as well, if you're curious. My username there is @ask_a_mormon

Julie, I truly loved Krakauer's book. He makes some really good points about reason and faith, asking how it's possible to have both. That book was a real eye opener for me.

I loved BOOK OF MORMON GIRL as I felt I could totally relate with the struggles/questions the author had with the Mormon faith. I've had the same issues too. I just guess I have concerns on where this tale ends up going since you did drop out of the church. That's just me though.