8/03/2010

A Question

How do you define "homemaker?"

It was on Facebook, so they didn't want an answer of essay size proportions!

This was my answer:

One who makes her husband long for the moment he walks in the door after his day's work, and who makes her kids want to spend all their free time there with the rest of their family. If I make my home these 2 things, I will not worry about a bit of clutter, some smatterings of dust, and some undone laundry (I *do* care about these things...a bit!....but it's shouldn't be priority, I think)

The answer was given with little thought, but I'm not sure (unless I was writing an essay!) whether I would change much in it.....except that I might have made clear that Christ is, I hope, at the root of all my desires for my husband, my children, and my home.

What about you? What would you change in my answer? What would you have answered yourself? What is important to you in homemaking?

13 comments:

As you probably know, I am seriously lacking in the domesticity dept...I don't sew, I barely cook, and my home definitely doesn't look like a magazine...but my husband continues to happily come home, and when my children are (rarely) away...they miss home...SOOO, I must be doing something right!

"and who makes her kids want to spend all their free time there with the rest of their family. "

Lol. How many dc of what age did the author of that comment have? Seriously, I would not feel I'd failed as a homemaker if my children all want to spend all their free time here with J, their siblings and myself, in 10 - 20 yrs time.

(Not likely to happen :-) But I don't think it would be something that I would strive for.

Yes, I am happy when my dc want to spend time with me and their siblings, and when they are glad to be home with the family; but I am also happy when they branch out and make friends (and God willing, eventually life partners - I mean spouses - ) with other people.

I guess the meaning of homemaker changes as time moves on.

Re the domestic stuff, I'm a total failure. I can't sew, only cook to a fairly basic level, and our home looks like a "before" picture in a make-over magazine :-)

But my dh does love to come home. And my older dc who work outside of the home (some daily) are really good at ringing me to chat while they are standing in post office queues, or when they have coffee break etc.

Not sure how I'd define a homemaker; and I can see lots of ways that I could improve in. . . Christ centredness has got to come first, I agree.Hx

H - lol - I don't think I would count it a 'success' if my kids were still wanting to be around me, their dad, and their siblings in 10-20 years' time!! I hope we're bringing them up and guiding them for better things that that! But....*until* they meet their future spouse, I'm happy if they're here!

I think I'd agree with you too. I'm not huge on the spotless house thing either, though I do try and make sure that we have a tidy living-room for my hubby to come home to after a hard days work.

Interestingly enough, I had a similar conversation with my hubby the other day and he said one of the ways her felt truly loved was that every night he came home to a nicely laid table and a home cooked dinner. It's the simplest of things that matter.

Well, I am not an official homemaker yet, as I am only 18, but I still feel tht I am a co-homemaker with Mama! :) So here's how I would describe a homemaker:"A homemaker is a woman who delights in making her home, a castle. She finds contentment and fulfillment in preparing meals for her husband and family, in keeping a smoothly running household, and beautifying her surroundings as she can. A homemaker is not a woman who stays home to clean. A homemaker is almost more an attitude, than an occupation. To be a homemaker, one must have a vision, and see the worth of being the Queen of her home, and creating a beautiful and peaceful dwelling for her "king" and "subjects" ;)She must understand that it is one of the most noble callings, and embrace the fact that she, as a woman, is particularly suited to the task."Anyway, those are my thoughts...am I right? I'm sure I cannot fully understand, since I do not have my own household, but that is my experience thus far! :) -Rachel

I'm afraid I wouldn't have, and still can't really find myself in Rachel's description, although it sounds very ideal, as a homemaker. So in answering H - I definitely do not think that not finding yourself in that desciption a woman should refrain from marriage.

I think for me to be a homemaker, is making a house a home, a place where the 'homeliness' is felt, a place where everyone loves to come and visit and come back to (especially once they grow up!).

I must admit that when I married I had no clue about cooking (I bought cookbooks on honeymoon to be on the safe side!!), and I must admit that I was a bit career minded, I worked full time and rather thought that things like housework etc should be shared on days off. I fully expected that pattern to follow for a number of years, but the Lord had much different plans for me.

It's a bit different now, I am a full time mother, and it is mostly my responsibility to keep the house. There are times I would greatly love the guidance of an older lady to share her wisdom in these things in life that she has lived as she has seen her family grow up and leave home, what was important to her, I think those things are biblical, and I do think that for some of us, these things don't come so naturally.

I did describe the "perfect" homemaker, but I did not mean to say that anyone not fitting that description is excluded from the term. I more meant to capture the attitude of homemaking, not the face it should have. I don't think not being a homemaker should neccessarily exclude one from becoming married, but I do think being a homemaker would bless your husband and benefit your marriage than otherwise! :) -Rachel (on my google account)

Well Anne, this question has gotten a lot of thoughts coming forth. They all sound pretty good, and I must add here, that I believe Rachel's answer was sweet and made it clear that she was thinking of the "ideal homemaker" no need to feel intimidated by that, I say "you go girl". I also say "ditto" for your answer.

Making our home into a safe, cozy place filled with the peace of the "Holy Spirit" and expressed by the smells, sounds and sights, that cause our families hearts to sigh with sweet contentment, is what I desire to do/be as a homemaker. Perfection belongs to the Lord, but the fruit of HIs Spirit is delightful to all. I consider my home and my family my own field; I get to cultivate and nurture it, and pull weeds out of it and through the Holy Spirit, fight off any enemy that would try to sow tares into it. I also get to enjoy the fruit of my labor.

How nice it is to catch up with you. I loved the two previous posts by the way; Your testimony was so interesting to read and I thank you for it. I was about 18 when I got saved. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but my dad used to love to watch Billy Graham on T.V. I loved to watch and did give my life to the Lord during his crusades, but became seriously committed after I met my husband (although I must say, that I always loved Jesus and always prayed to Him when I was a little girl. When I was afraid at night I would sing "Jesus loves me this I know" to myself LOL. He did watch over me and got me through some bad years when I was astray as well. Thank you Lord.

Also loved the post on the livestock show. It was so interesting to see all of it. I know I and my whole family would love to go see one of your livestock shows. It looked like great fun.Many Blessings,Love Pam

I have not replied here as I ought....So much has been said, but I think Henrietta asked whether I think anyone lacking the skills mentioned in Rachel's comments ought to refrain from marrying.My quick answer would be no - not necessarily, but I do think that a person who totally lacks ANY of these skills ought to make it her business to try and attain to them.I do think that not having the skills, and not *desiring* to have the skills are two different things too. Anyone who has no desire to have any of these skills is not someone I'd like my son to end up with, I have to be honest!Similarly, I would not be keen on my daughters ending up with a guy who had no interest in providing for his family, and who had no desire to be a leader at home. Again, lacking certain skills would be different to having no desire to even learn them. If I met a young man, who was unable to provide for his wife AND had no desire to *ever* be able to do so, I would seriously question whether he ought to marry .... unless he had a change of heart.I'd certainly steer my daughter away from him!