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Election 2012: Chaos

This is a memo from the U.S. Court System. We understand that your State Constitution requires you to hold an election in 2012. You brought this to our attention via multiple lawsuits over maps drawn by the Texas Legislature in 2011.

We know that it is a Federal law that requires you to draw new representative districts after the federally mandated census. We ask States to do this so that states like yours, with significant population gain, can ensure that all Texans are fairly represented in Congress and in the State Legislature.

However, it seems that there have been some challenges with your map colors. Our Courts have not yet agreed on a resolution and are studying and redrawing your maps to guarantee they are in compliance with Federal Law.

Meanwhile, we understand that your mandated election timeline does not meet our schedule so we are happy to work out alternatives with you.

Tell your candidates to go ahead and file for election under the San Antonio maps and we’ll study the cases in January and let you know what we think. Since we are striving to meet your deadlines, we’ll reopen filing in January so candidates may adapt to new maps, if needed.

And could you two political parties, such great friends, find a nice date to hold your primaries? We’re glad that you could agree on April 3.

Now, you folks be patient while we work out all the details for your upcoming elections and have a great 2012.

Note: Candidates – a word to the wise: Don’t print district numbers on your materials.