Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 31
End of Summer Time in most of North America.
Let your clocks fall back an hour tonight.
You get an extra hour of sleep.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award
and a Darwin Award goes to a
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out
Details at Boneheads
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Today, October 29, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been
educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
--- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think
of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
--- Mark Twain
As you journey through life take a minute every now and then
to give a thought for the other fellow.
He could be plotting something.
--- Hagar the Horrible
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Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a
ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man
and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied,
"You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"
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A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with
great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the
wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in
the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced
with a wide grin, "For our .hic... clo-shing shong, let ush
shing Hymn # 365: "We Shall Gather at the River."
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
AND a Darwin Award
has been earned by
Floyd Ray Cook,
62,
Brookhaven,
Georgia
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out
A fugitive accused of shooting a Tennessee police officer
and firing at a Kentucky trooper was killed in a shootout
with authorities early Friday, ending a nearly weeklong
manhunt.
Floyd Ray Cook, 62, was pronounced dead at the scene near
Burkesville, Ky., after being confronted by state troopers
and a federal marshal who were searching an embankment,
a Kentucky State Police rep says. Cook was armed with a
handgun and exchanged gunfire with the officers, the
rep adds. No officers were injured. Cook was accused
of shooting and wounding an Algood, Tenn., police officer
during a traffic stop last Saturday afternoon and fled
in a black Ford truck.
Just over an hour later, a Kentucky State Police trooper
tried to stop him just beyond the Tennessee state line,
authorities say. Cook tried to speed away but wrecked.
He allegedly opened fire on the officer, missed, and
ran into the woods.
A swath of the border between Kentucky and Tennessee
had since been gripped with fear of the man authorities
described as "armed, dangerous, and desperate."
Convicted of rape in the 1970s, Cook was wanted in
Marion County, Ky., for failing to comply with the sex
offender registry, a sheriff says. He also had previous
convictions for robbery, burglary, assault, and riot,
and he was wanted in Hardin County on an indictment
charging him with trafficking methamphetamine and
tampering with evidence.
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Tech Support Pits
From: Dave
Re: Keystroke recorder
Dear Webby,
I hope all is well. I wanted to know if you have hear of a
program that will allow your computer to record the keystrokes
and then "replay them" (to cut down on repetitive tasks)?
Thanks,
Dave
Dear Dave
There are lots of those. They are usually called macro
recorders. An old one has been in Windows since 3.1, I think.
The XP and up version is described with instructions at
Macro Recorder
Here is a review of the top ten macro recorders:
Top 10
Just pick the one that suits you best.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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A mother took her three year old daughter to church for
the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the
choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was
quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice
"Happy Birthday to you!"
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ice for Getting Gum out of a Dryer
When I found the gum, I didn't want to put a chemical in
my dryer, nor did I want to scrape it with a knife and an
ice cube. Here is how I got gum out of my dryer fast.
I had saved a couple of those plastic fishnet bottle or
candle covers (open at both ends) in my junk drawer. I
took a rubber band and sealed off one end of the plastic
cover. I filled it with ice and sealed off the other end
with another rubber band. I scrubbed using the ice bag
as a sponge and followed with a dry rag. It made quick
work of getting the gum out of the dryer.
By Mary Keenan W. [1]
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

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During a rather heated argument a teenager said,
"I didn't ask to be born."
His father: replied,
"Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have
been 'NO!!!'."
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Restroom Mirror prank

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After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6
year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest
of the week.
"Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes
care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the
poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in
public isn't an easy job, you know."
The boy thought about that, then said,
"Well, listening ain't easy, either."
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Noella's Blunders
Saturday mornings in St. Louis I'd walk downtown, shop for a
while, eat lunch, catch a movie, and then walk home. This
particular day even though my hair was a mess and really
needed washing, it was very important that I pick up whatever
it was I needed, so I walked downtown. While looking through
the electronics department, I noticed on their television that
there was a lady whose hair was similar to mine and I thought
to myself, well, her hair doesn’t look so bad. The longer I
studied the screen I noticed that her clothes were similar to
my own.
I studied her a while, and I finally realized I was watching
myself. This was the first time I’d ever seen a closed-circuit
TV in use. I had to look around and make sure no one saw me
“admiring” myself before I hurried out.
Noella
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AirShow Budapest
Beautiful town and awesome aerobatics

Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany.
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria).
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy.
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been
damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the
stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini
had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and
their ability to withstand hard blows.
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain
prevented Germany from invading Britain.
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work.
At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington,
Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln
were finished.
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered
World War II. More than 100 men were killed.
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb.
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a
revolt against French rule.
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land
an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first
person to set foot on the South Pole.
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth,
TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the
time he was in Moscow, Russia.
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S.
bombing of North Vietnam.
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as
Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.
1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital.
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near
her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv,
was sworn in as prime minister.
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had
been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were
blamed for the murders.
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged
into a northern Indiana farm.
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in
prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence
was reduced to manslaughter.
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms
inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons
of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990.
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA,
killing all 217 people aboard.
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church
signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The
event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of
faith and salvation.
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time.
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of
VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States
supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes.
2015 smiled.

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Tech Support Pits: Re: Not getting a subscription
... not getting my subscription newsletters, not just the Humor Letter, but
others too. I can't re-sub- scribe because I am still on the list....

Dear Friends, If you are on the list, then the subscriptions are sent out
TOWARDS you. If you don't see them, then either you or your ISP are blocking
them.

Complaining to me won't fix your or your ISP's spam block. Check your spam
control program and, if necessary, white-list the missing subscription or
declare it as friendly. If your spam control program is OK, contact your
ISP.

If you are using one of those address collectors that pretend to be email
verification programs, but ask for people to fill out all kinds of information,
forget it!
NO newsletter send program will even click on a verification link, never
mind filling out some silly junkmail order form. If you want a newsletter,
it is up to YOU, to make sure that you are not blocking it.

The Humor Letter is no exception, except that you can still read it here,
on-line, at http://webby.com/humor,
even if you are blocking it in the mail.