Category Archives: Discovery

Do you have an autumn ritual? Something that automatically makes your mind turn to red and gold leaves and the shedding of trees? For our family that means camping. Although we won’t be able to fit it into our October schedule, we will no doubt spend time on our patio, enjoying a crisp, dusky evening, making s’mores around the fire pit, telling stories, watching the release of the beautiful, glowing energy.

Speaking of stories, which ones have you been telling yourself lately? What renewal are you in the process of experiencing? As I mentioned the other day in a blog post here, this time of year has become the new starting point for so many folks. Autumn truly is the “New Black”. For me, it’s all about writing more, meeting new people in both my coaching and Mary Kay business, and working a revised, more robust schedule for my Deaf ministry.

Each of us has the unique privilege of having a dream, an idea, a mission, some specialness that we want to bring to fruition. To do it well, you need to ignite a “fire” in your spirit to make it happen. And no matter how excited you might be about your big idea, without the elements of fire behind you to make it happen, well it won’t happen.

Setting fire to your idea, your dream without the strength of the right elements is like setting a fire with wet wood. It will smolder and smoke, but never get to a full burn. The right stuff is missing; the dampness is killing the energy! But how can you know what the right stuff is, and how do you get it?

In many ways it’s simple. It’s all about strength. The cool thing about this strength is that you can adopt it. Grow it. Develop it. Evolve into it. It’s not about pushing or prodding. It’s about asking the right questions.

My specialty is about helping women ask the right questions of themselves so they can learn how to release negativity, let positivity reign, and set a fire within to get things moving in the right direction. Is that your journey? Are you ready to start? Be sure to check out this past week’s Sunday Corner™ video. You can get so much done when you turn up your flame!

Ready to get your positive energy in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.

For many of us, Vision is a strength. We see with wide eyes. Positive eyes. For others vision is a struggle because distractions of other people’s views get in the way. How about you? How is your vision?

One of the reasons I love coaching and being coached, is the way it opens eyes. Eyes without possibility suddenly see (pun intended) what could be. So many times, right up until the time when you are ready to hit “Go”, vision is in place. You are flying a private jet. The view is wide open, the window is huge and clear. Then one thing or another happens. Clouded by fear, indecision or feeling cramped by too many other opinions, even if it’s the last thing you want to happen, the window shrinks and vision fades.

The irony is when starting something new, vision is possible through any size window. Even when no one can see our big idea, it’s clear to us. Adversity and fear shrinks the window. As the size of the window shrinks, so does the vision. In reality, if you have the nerve to start scared, but invincible you can finish the same way. Here’s two quick ways to do it:

Find your tribe! Who is your tribe? Like-minded, similarly focused folks who “get you”. It doesn’t mean they are into the exact same thing necessarily. It just means they will allow you to have your vision. They will refuse to allow you to shrink because the target is far away. In the picture above the window is small. Seeing anything is going to be hard. But the realities outside are exactly the same size! So find a tribe who will keep you accountable for looking straight ahead even when the distance between you and your goal is still far away.

Be Authentic! This is more than just a Princess of Positivity® platitude. Being Authentic is real and it will keep your vision alive! Along the way to reach what you want so much fear is involved. Couple that with the naysayers and dream-slayers, and the tendency to say everything is, “Fine” is simply to tempting and seems harmless. Of course nothing could be farther from true. It will keep you from moving forward. Because when you lie about your progress, or tell the truth about your progress, and then lie about how you feel about it, your tribe cannot help you. They won’t even know you need it.

If you are wanting a stronger and more positive vision, you can also write down your vision statement, keep it with you and recite it repeatedly until you are comfortable. Or you can make a vision board and interact with it until you embrace it as truth. It might take a moment to change your mindset, but once you do, you get to play a bigger game with your ultimate vision. Deciding is more than half the battle!

Ready to get your positive energy in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.

What did you focus on today? Was it the big important thing that is always right there and needs your attention? Or was it the small almost silent whisper that edged its way to you tapping for you to take notice. If it was the latter I hope you decided to #focusandtaketime. Because it is most often in the silence that the miracles appear.

I took this picture last week from my hotel in Dallas. I couldn’t help but think of all the nights I stayed away from my family and was submerged in work and activities based on someone else’s agenda. I loved my team. My work. I loved coaching and mentoring and teaching others to be excellent. Both at their jobs and and as people.

For many years while I did the corporate grind, Dallas was a second home. It was fast paced, exciting, my work seemed to matter and I strived to be really great at it. The view was from way up and everything looked good on the ground. The only problem was that the ground home, far away in New Jersey/Maryland, and I could not divide myself and be in two cities at once. The place I longed to be was with my hubby and my kids…that was the place that mattered. I was home plenty, but I was missing a lot too. It wasn’t the concert here or there or the shows. Every parent misses a couple. It was the little things that no one remembered to tell me. It was little everyday-mundane-seemingly-boring-too-unimportant-to-recount things. I’m still discovering things 5 years later.

It’s like watching a big city from high up. You don’t know what the sights and sounds are on the ground. When you see the movement of the highway and the people and the traffic, you imagine what it sounds like. And you can remain fairly neutral because it doesn’t seem like much. But sometimes there is laughter. And sometimes there is weeping. Other times there is confusion. And every now and then there is a bittersweet contentment. Sweet because you recognize the joy. Bitter because you are too high up to enjoy it.

No matter how much I love a city (and I treasure them) I prefer the whir of my family to the whir of a plane taking off. When you are a work at home mom or mompreneur, there is a delicious banter that will drive you both out of your head crazy and out of your heart happy. No win in the boardroom compares to my daughter, son, hubby and me, taking time to bond over the Bible at breakfast. Can you do it from a distance? Sure. While in between flights? Yes. Running to a conference call? Of course. But the best memories are built from blocks picked up by hand. Because the beat of a city should never drown out the beat of your “most important”.

The portfolio of my Mary Kay business, coaching, writing, and supporting my husband in his ASL interpreting business is keeping me from idly looking out of windows wishing I could hear “what’s going on down there?” Getting to be home to see, hear experience more is worth putting the suitcases away.

What about you? Are you a corporate warrior but wish you could be at home? Are you looking down and out from way high up but longing to be closer to the ground? There are ways to make a plan and start your exit. Let’s talk.

Ready to get your positive energy back in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.

Here in Columbia, Maryland it’s Spring.And although we have had a mixture of cool, rainy days with unseasonably warm days, it’s still Spring. The trees are full, green and lovely. Big, juicy flowers line the lawns in my neighborhood. More animals than I care to count are visiting my backyard. Mulch is being freshened up. Folks are getting into the swing of running again, the bikers are getting their legs back and kids are playing outside. Life is being lived full and out loud and pleasant. Everything is getting renewed. Spring is the renewal season. It starts to seem easy to get started because things are blooming. It’s a good time!

What about you? What in your life is being renewed right now? Are you starting to hear the click-clack of regularity in your fitness? Your business? Your relationships? Are you writing a book and feeling amazing because the chapters seem to be rolling off your pen and onto the page? Are you reaching your fitness and clean eating goals? Ain’t it grand? It is! So what’s wrong?

What’s wrong is that you might still be in Winter. In Winter we are not ready to spring. It’s that simple. Winter is for Wonder. The wonder season where one explores, imagines, figures it out and finally pinpoints what next step to execute. Incredibly encouraging if your goal is to actuate your success. Incredibly discouraging if you end up comparing yourself to someone else’s success.

Stop it!! It’s not Spring for you! You are in the Wonder season and your personal Spring is coming once you stop comparing yourself to other people.

Imagine a snowflake comparing itself to a lily. Both white. Both unique. Both on the ground. Both beautiful. And yet completely…COMPLETELY different. And Not to be compared.

“But Chatone, I’m not where I want to be yet! I’m tired of working so hard and not getting anywhere!”

How true is that?

If you have a fear of heights, but want to feel the exhilaration of going down the expert slope, you have to conquer the monorail. You have go slowly up…there is no way to get down until you get up. So go. Slowly if that is what it takes. Look around. Wonder at the beauty of the mountain on the way up. Then get ready to scream at the top of your lungs in joy on the way down! Success is everywhere…you just have to change up your perspective.

If you want your“Positivity to Reign”, STOP comparing yourself to anyone else. You cannot walk in their shoes, sing with their voice, dance with their hips, jump with their rope. If Spring has not yet arrived at your house, look at the beauty of the snow. Go skiing. Go sledding. Go iceskating. Embrace the season you are in! Focus on what’s good and take time to enjoy it all. Your Spring-into-Action is on it’s way!

“Princess of Positivity” Enjoying a Quiet Moment in NYC

Would you like support to get your thinking right so you can spring into your next big thing? Let me help. Fill out my questionnaire to work with Chatone and request a FREE coaching strategy session.

Poetry is positivity at the deepest and most soulful level. The saddest phrases. The angriest lines. The bloodiest verse. All these take the human spirit down to the core. Down to the bone. Down to the honesty. And in the sphere of honesty is where the positivity always lies. Write even the shortest poem and trust that where you need to be, and where you want to go will appear. Almost magically. It’s no longer about just the facts: where poetry resides – truth is. Continue reading →

Share this:

Like this:

When is the last time you got Stuck? It’s a yucky feeling, right? Trust me, I’ve been there! There are many reasons for getting Stuck. Unfortunately it’s a real place. An actual location on the map, and for one reason or another, our internal GPS thinks Stuck is true North. There are no road signs or mile markers showing that you are approaching “Stucksville” (borrowed from my Daddy, the late, great Linwood Curley.) It’s hidden between the crevices of our busy-ness, uncertainty and confusion. Stuck is where we end up getting, when “There” is elusive. So where is “There”?

Where do you want to go?You have to set your destination with intention, if you want to avoid getting get Stuck. Is it a promotion at work? A new level in your MLM business? Is it a different dress size or a completed marathon? Are you after a more peaceful relationship with your teenage son or middle school daughter? Would you like to write a book or start a blog or create a painting? Does getting along with your elderly mom resonate with you? Or do you see yourself getting your financial future in order? Where are you wanting to go? The destination is not the point. You get permission to set that. So take a few days and set a goal to where you want to be. Because where is never the issue. It’s in the why and how that Stuck takes over.

Why is this important? Why is always a toughie. Why questions you and wants to know right away. Why shows you absolutely no mercy. and when you cannot figure out your Why in any and every given situation, Stuck is sure to ensue. Why? (See, I’m not even kidding on this!) Because without the answer of Why there is no drive. No motive. No fire. No energy. And absolutely No Positivity. It’s as if a “No Trespassing” sign were nailed over the destination to your goal. Even if you attempt to tread lightly in the direction of your goal, without the answer to Why…you will very likely call the cops on your very own self. You won’t believe you belong there, so you arrest yourself. Yep, it’s not a pretty sight. Imagine you holding yourself with your hands behind your back…Miranda rights being read…head bowed as you get in the police car and get dragged further and further away from your dreams. Just figure this one out and you will spare yourself this dramatic scene. Now all you have to think about is How – and that is the easiest one of all!

How are you getting there? OK, so I was teasing just a bit. How has its challenges but nothing like Why. How is challenging simply because there are so many different ways to do what you want. And if you have already struggled with Why, chances are the How you will reach your destination without getting Stuck is going to take time. The funny thing is, no matter what the sense of urgency is, time is never really an issue. In this day and time we are beings that rush. We are working to cram as much life in as we can. Period. So the best scenario is to take the needed time (not too much time, lest Stuck make an ugly appearance) and make the best decisions you can. Want to lose weight? How does it make you feel to work alone? Would a food or health coach make sense? Do you like groups? How do you feel about the gym? Would you prefer to run on the street or the treadmill? How do you feel about trainers? Get what I’m saying? Each of these choices will most likely get you to your destination. Taking the time to determine in positivity how you will get there, is a cornerstone to arriving with minimal detours, roadblock, u-turns and avoiding “Stucksville”.

What NOT To Do

Get overly busy.

Belittle yourself.

Forget to sew into self-worth.

Take action without thought or based on someone else’s agenda.

What TO Do

Program your GPS Where you want to go according to your highest intentions.

Discover your Why.

Examine How you want to get there.

Pick only one mode of transportation at a time.

Along your many journeys and adventures this year, don’t visit Stucksville. Instead grab your most colorful push-pins and put them into the Destination of your Dreams and enjoy the ride!

What is UP for you? For me UP is Unapologetic and Positive. Does it seem like you have fallen and can’t get UP?

Is the house too loud? Does the cellphone never stop ringing? Is your work cafeteria lady against you, only giving you the heel of the bread? Then after you get the butts of the bread, are there no empty tables for you? Perhaps you are married. You have three children. But are there also 8 neighbors, 5 sisters, 4 parents, two cats, 1 dog, and about 67 people at work, that all need you? Seems like you are surrounded; like “come out with you hands up, and we won’t shoot”, surrounded. Your answer is yes…always yes. And you wake feeling burnt out and tired more often than ever before. You would love to have just a little quiet. But it seems to come less and less frequently. Yikes!!!

How does a woman today navigate all the required highways still stay relatively sane and in her positive right mind? Who reprogrammed the GPS so that it started driving you down instead of UP?

The simple answer my friend…you did! You did it in the name of progress. Of love. Of caring. Of doing. And now you are stuck in a negative rut. But not to worry, I just might have a teeny tiny plan that you can implement today. As in right now. Right this very minute. Why be stuck in the name of progress?

Our activities and choices used to be like painting a wall. You would look at paint chips, take them home, put them on the wall to try them out, then pick the one that was best suited for your room. You threw out the rest because they didn’t fit. You might have liked them but you made a best choice decision. Now it seems that the way to “paint a life” is to throw various paints from a distance on a small wall, during a drive by, and then get surprised and dismayed when a masterpiece doesn’t appear.

It doesn’t work. Women can’t do it all and feel 100% happy. We can’t outsource it all and feel 100% connected. We all want to feel positive and determined about the decisions we are currently making and living, yet we continue to fall, get stuck and can’t get UP!

But I’m not stuck! I’m haven’t been in a rut since I had that bob cut with bangs! Not me! I’m great!

Is that the best way to handle this? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about positive thinking. But if it’s based on nothing but a list of lose ideas grabbed from someone else’s playbook – it won’t work!

How to Know If You Have “Fallen and Can’t Get UP?

No matter what your social media pictures and posts say, it’s time to face the truth. Let’s get you crawling, walking and finally running, all int he next few weeks! Ready. Get Set. Go!

Self-Assessment

Do you feel an overall loss of energy or enthusiasm about work or home life? Especially things that you use to enjoy?

Do you often feel as if you are losing control when trying to get everything done?

Has negative thinking or self-demeaning thoughts become commonplace?

Are you demotivated to eat right, exercise, take care of basic necessities?

Which of these resonates with you? Even just one can indicate that you may be about to hit the floor.

Creating An Action Plan

Isolate and Identify The Problem. Where are the demands coming from? Is it work or home? Is it your spouse or your kids? Is it your weight or your health? (Notice that these are different!) Which weighs heaviest on your energy? Make a short list, no more than 3 items to start. More than that will cause great overwhelm. You can always come back and do this step again.

Seek Clarity & Seek Solutions. You have your list in hand and it’s time to get clear on what and how you want to change. Working with a coach at this point is excellent because as a neutral 3rd party they are invested in your success, not in the specific way you get there. (For information about working with a coach, see my website: chatonemorrison.com) Not yet ready to work with a coach? Creating a vision board (poster board, pictures/words from magazines, glue stick are all you need) can help with steps 1 and 2 at the same time. Sometimes with so much crowding you need to allow a space for your mind to get clear and feel free. While moving to a deserted island by yourself with no one but a personal concierge to bring you Mai Tais all day and night, while you seek clarity, probably isn’t an option, I’d bet a 2-hour window to play “hide and seek” with yourself is quite doable. Never created one before? Hit me up in the comments below and I can give you some quick suggestions.

P.S: Make One “PDC” Each Day. Your quest for “Personal Space” and “Personal Slow-Down” will take time. So along the way it’s vital to have a daily “PDC”. Permission Driven Choices are an amazing way to start feeling whole again. It could be as small as getting the cup of coffee you want and taking 5 minutes to drink it while looking out the window. It could be leaving your office and sitting outside in your car and screaming away the stress…although make sure you don’t park too close to the building if you choose that one! Back in the day when I was still at my corporate job, one of my PDCs was to simply stop “holding it”. TMI…but true! The point is to do one thing each and every day, that was formerly off limits. Try it for a week. Get your Power Back!

Just Ask & Saying No. As soon as you read this, think about something you want. What would you love help with? If you assertiveness volume was turned all the way up, what could you say? Just Ask. Say No. Do it. No holding back. Not ready to tell your boss to take his last minute deadline and throw it where the sun don’t shine? (I would not recommend; neither the most positive nor motivating thing to do!) But could you ask for an extension? Being asked again to be the only chaperone for the class trip, to make the cupcakes or be the pot luck coordinator for the next family get together, and also by the way, have it at your house?! Wrap your tongue around Saying No! I guarantee if said with a twinkle in your eye and just the right amount of lift in your voice, 9 times out of 10, your assertiveness will be met with respect. The best part is you get to feel better… Quick!

The earth spins and so do our worlds. Just like we cannot jump off the Earth, we also cannot slow everything down to suit our needs. But you can start to reset your GPS to take short cuts and avoid traffic patterns that are roadblocks to your destination – POSITIVITY!