The Taming of the Shrew
By
William Shakespeare
Induction:
Scene 2

[SLY is discovered in a rich nightgown, with ATTENDANTS: some withapparel, basin, ewer, and other appurtenances; and LORD, dressedlike a servant.]

SLY.For God's sake! a pot of small ale.

FIRST SERVANT.Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

SECOND SERVANT.Will't please your honour taste of these conserves?

THIRD SERVANT.What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

SLY.I am Christophero Sly; call not me honour nor lordship. Ine'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves,give me conserves of beef. Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear,for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings thanlegs, nor no more shoes than feet: nay, sometime more feet thanshoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather.

LORD.Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!O, that a mighty man of such descent,Of such possessions, and so high esteem,Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

SLY.What! would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, oldSly's son of Burton-heath; by birth a pedlar, by education acard-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by presentprofession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife ofWincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence onthe score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave inChristendom. What! I am not bestraught. Here's —

SECOND SERVANT.Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straightAdonis painted by a running brook,And Cytherea all in sedges hid,Which seem to move and wanton with her breathEven as the waving sedges play with wind.

LORD.We'll show thee Io as she was a maidAnd how she was beguiled and surpris'd,As lively painted as the deed was done.

THIRD SERVANT.Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleedsAnd at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

LORD.Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord:Thou hast a lady far more beautifulThan any woman in this waning age.

FIRST SERVANT.And, till the tears that she hath shed for theeLike envious floods o'er-run her lovely face,She was the fairest creature in the world;And yet she is inferior to none.

SLY.Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?Or do I dream? Or have I dream'd till now?I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things:Upon my life, I am a lord indeed;And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.

SECOND SERVANT.Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands?

[Servants present a ewer, basin, and napkin.]

O, how we joy to see your wit restor'd!O, that once more you knew but what you are!These fifteen years you have been in a dream,Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept.

SLY.These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap.But did I never speak of all that time?

FIRST SERVANT.O! yes, my lord, but very idle words;For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door,And rail upon the hostess of the house,And say you would present her at the leet,Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts.Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

SLY.Ay, the woman's maid of the house.

THIRD SERVANT.Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up,As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell;And twenty more such names and men as these,Which never were, nor no man ever saw.