Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Hai hai everyone, this is Ravenzomg of Ravenzomg fame to review XKCD #939 for you all! Or maybe I'm just some imposter, who even knows anymore.

Title: Arrow. Tooltip: 'The Return of the Boomerang' would make a great movie title.

So let's cut to the chase. This is just an awful brick joke. The joke is that there is a thing here from another xkcd comic why is that here that belongs in the other comic how can it be here oh my god oh my god so random wat.

Are you that fucking machine that wakes me up every day at 0630 without fail, denying me an extra half hour's sleep and making me grumpy and take it out on my wife, my kids and my dog, who are so understanding but one day will get fed up and pack up and leave and then I'll just be another balding middle-age man with a go-nowhere middle-management job and that nagging voice from my dead mother telling me I should have studied harder and finished that degree and why can't I be like my older brother he's a doctor a bloody doctor he saves lives every day well fuck him he didn't have to cope with his partner killing himself when he was 15 because his parents wouldn't accept that he was gay and it's not as if my parents ever accepted me for that either all I ever wanted was approval, Gamer?

When first I saw that this already had 56 comments, I thought to myself "oh fantastic, ALTF has squirted her goo all over another post" and resigned myself to fate. Little did I realize I would soon be reading the greatest comment section of all time.

@cptnoremac Actually, I think this blog exists because they're really not but want people to believe they are because they think it makes them part of some sort of elite group. Somebody needs to call bullshit on that.

I once heard that sometimes when a person says something that is silly, they actually expect the other people to detect the absurdity as intentional. I myself don't see where the humour is if people aren't supposed to be annoyed, but I guess there really are some Brady Bunch type fuckers left in the world.

I liked this comic for the 5 seconds it took to read. It's kind of funny in the "meta" sense: you go into the site thinking that everything will go wrong, that you cannot expect any shred of quality in the piece of crap he's laid out for this Wednesday.

You look at the comic. You see a dude shooting an arrow. Where is it going? What is going to happen? ...OH SHI-

It's that boomerang from comic 445! No, Randall, you couldn't have! A reused shitty joke! You couldn't have resorted to this!

But then it strikes you...

Contemplating the comic's terribleness, you realize that it went exactly as you expected. The comic is a metaphor. The guy with the bow experiences a confusing disappointment, just like you, every time you read XKCD. It all makes perfect sense now. You cannot help but silently move your lips to form the phrase "get out of my head, Randall!" while staring at the screen in awe. THIS is a webcomic. This is ART.

WTF Randall??? I don't want to hear about your sex life, and I've never heard of Fitocracy. In fact, the only reason I became aware of the existence of fitness tracking websites is because of this:http://techcrunch.com/2011/07/03/sexual-activity-tracked-by-fitbit-shows-up-in-google-search-results/

Maybe it's a good thing that Fitocracy won't let you enter sex as an aerobic activity.

6:13, consider angle of penis, angle of thrust and head-groin:groin-knee:knee-foot ratio. There is no way vaginal sex is going on in panel 3.

Anyway, the gender role swap theory is reinforced by panel 2 (and Randall's Google+ rant about public gender), where the one with the wig is bending over in a manner more consistent with anal. Megan is either wearing a strap-on or has an engorged clitoris as a side effect of the chemo.

Panel 1, where the wigger is the one doing the pinning, seals the deal. I have at least enough evidence to publish my conclusion in a psychology journal.

The very fact that Anonymous @ 9:19 AM executed with perfection has intimidated all who might hazard to further comment here. It takes a very confident cunt to risk pixelating in the pale shadow of such coruscating invective.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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