It was bound to happen. Novelist and Native Texan humor writer Mike Nichols has spilled his guts on just what it takes to call Texas home. And he packaged it all in a back pocket-sized book called, You Know You’re a Texan If... A sampling: “You have learned the chemistry of Texas summer: Water becomes a gas, creek beds become a solid, and asphalt becomes a liquid.” “Your husband’s belt buckle is so big and round that it affects local tides.” “Your wife’s hairdo is so big and round that it has smaller hairdos orbiting around it.” This wee work of whit is priced low enough to make a great add-on to a house gift, a stocking stuffer or a birthday present for that relative who moved away or for those recovering Yankees who moved in. Mike Nichols’s family has been in Texas since the doors opened. He has boxed its corners from Texline to Brownsville, from El Paso to Texarkana, has lived in its cities and a far piece down its country roads. A former, long-time humor columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, his first novel, Balaam Gimble’s Gumption, was named “Funniest Texas Book of 2004” by the Texas Institute of Letters.