Thursday, March 7, 2013

JAD Caralina Alwis – 27th January 1933 – 4th March 2013

She
was at work till the day before yesterday! She was admitted yesterday, and died
today 4th March 2013. Funeral set for the day after tomorrow, 6th
March 2013.

It
is important to me on my personal blog to recognize the significance of the
above lady in the development of the farm I live in over a 40 year period.

She
was a remarkable woman who had been widowed in her 30s prior to coming to work
on the farm that my father had, in 1973. She was a single mother with three
young sons, of 8, 10 and 12 to bring up, with little personal wherewithal.

As
was mentioned at the funeral she was able to raise these three boys, to be
pillars of the local business community of Godagama, where they live, in
various trades as the owners of their own businesses. Further raising these
boys with one going to Jayawardenapura University was a feat in itself, and the
closely knit family who now live almost next door to each other, is a testament
to a united family with wives and children, (also in University) something that
is rarely found in Sri Lanka these days.

Though
her family were now economically in good health, she still chose to go to work
on the farm, to manage it and come every day of the week between 7.30am and
4.30pm is a testament to her dedication to her work, her love for the farm, and
her interest till the last moment on arranging new plantings and recently even
hosting a forum for Coconut Seedling cultivation group is an indication of a
rare quality.

I was
telling her sons at the funeral house how interested she was till the end about
farming, and new types of plant and planting techniques. I have collected all the
cuttings for the last few years from newspapers as it pertains to farming and gave
the file to her to read. She had gone through the whole file and had picked out
the relevant tidbits to implement.

We
were talking about a new variety of Goraka, and she also told me that all this time
she was planting the “kiri ala” a potato type legume, in the wrong manner, and that
she has now learned of an easier method. I said to plant as many of these in the
new system, as it is a very nutritious and if cooked well a delightful dish that
one can use as a breakfast meal. She had also started a new coconut seedling nursery
using good nuts for me to take to Polonnaruwa once they were of a size ready to
be replanted, an indication of what one can learn from an 80yr old farmer.

She
told her sons, that she would be bored at home, and enjoyed coming to the farm
about half km from her home, only latterly by a three wheeler, earlier she used
to walk to and from. She could boss the workers, sell the produce to those who
come to the farm gate, chat with her friends who turn up to buy a coconut or a
bunch of bananas. Her lunch was delivered to her from her home.

Up
until last Saturday, Caroline, as I called her, came to the farm, sorted out
the weekly food basket my father takes home with him, along with his laundry
washed, and folded, and seemed perfectly well. The following day, Sunday, she
was not feeling too well, and did not come, and her family had taken her to the
local hospital, in Homagama (well equipped with modern facilities) and did not
seem too serious. She had a heart attack the next day Monday at around 11am
when she died, with less than 24 hours in hospital.

Since
my return to Sri Lanka in November of 2004, I have used the farm as my
principal abode, and had close contact dealing with her, as she was the person
who ran the farm here, whilst I was travelling to and from Polonnaruwa on my
farming work, and then once I was unable to work due to my accident, was able
to take care of the daily routine on the farm till now.

In
Sri Lanka, for whatever reason when the final speech of thanks is made before the
casket is closed and taken for cremation, all those who assisted at the funeral
are mentioned. What is uniquely Sri Lankan is that all the names of the
politicians who paid their respects is also mentioned. IS that the reason they
come to funerals so the crowd gathered at the final rites hear the names of the
politicians?

Just
for the record, lest we forget! I shall just repeat the list; Ravi Karunanayake
MP, Senior Minister Fowzie MP, Leader of the Opposition of the Western
Provincial Council – Manju Sri Arangala who gave the final address, Gamini
Tilakasiri PC, Upali Kodikara PC, AD Kumarasiri PS the Chairman of the Homagama
Pradeshiya Sabha, and a sprinkling of other provincial councilors and
pradeshiya sabha members.

Caroline
had helped a struggling Pirivena in Sooriyawewa in the Hambantota area for many
years, arranging an annual pilgrimage from Godagama of a bus load to take gifts
and books and dry rations to the young Samanaras (monks in training some as
young as 10) of the pirivena. When they heard of her demise, the Chief Priest
brought over 40 of the trainees in their saffron robes to the funeral in a bus.
That was a memory one would not easily forget, as a token of their appreciation
for her efforts over the past many years.

I
would also like to mention one point to explain her dedication to her work,
where after she had gone on a day trip with her family and grand children to
Galle on 25th February, a Poya Day, as the 25th is
usually the pay day, she told her son that she must get back in time to pay the
wages, and so she had come by 3pm to the farm to pay the monthly wages to the
staff, before I dropped her in my vehicle afterwards.

Coincidentally
I was sent a facebook quote today, which I copied below to give an indication of
the similarity of this lady to the mother in the quote, one can more visually understand
the struggle one must have had to bring up a family, with no husband for support,
to single handedly bring up three upstanding citizens who without doubt contribute
tremendously in their own way to the growth of this country’s economy and the neighborhood
we live in. They are all dedicated hardworking people who have instilled that in
their own children and no doubt the grandchildren will also remember the tower of
strength and unity that their grandmother had brought to their lives that they will
all surely miss.

Thank
You Caroline for a life well lived, and an example to us all.

The
link is to a blog entry in 2007, where she organized a Kiri Amma Dana.

The director said, "I have a request. When you
go home today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow
morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job
was high. When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her
hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her
hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His
tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's
hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some
bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched it.

This was the first time the youth realized that it
was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay
the school fees. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the
mother had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.

After cleaning his mother hands, the youth quietly
washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long
time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's
office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes,
when he asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday
in your house?"

The youth answered," I cleaned my mother's
hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

“I know now what appreciation is. Without my
mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, only now do I
realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. And I
have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.

The director said, "This is what I am looking
for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of
others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a
person who would not put money as his only goal in life.”

“You are hired.”

This young person worked very hard, and received
the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and worked as
a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

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About Me

I have lived most of my life in the UK and USA. I have now come to a village in Sri Lanka, I could never have imagined I would live in. It is so different to what I have hitherto experienced. I feel I am born again and have to learn to live a new life.