what do you mean rational? i mean, i think my gf is rational about big things, but day-to-day she can be emotionally erratic (for example she was pissy for a few hours b/c i smelled like cigs the other day).

We started living together and after awhile we figured why the fuck not. At that point in our lives we were both broke as fuck and had like 140k worth of student loans hanging over our heads. I get how people with actual assets can have qualms about getting married, but when you are dirt poor you have nothing to lose really.

Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.

Not tough = fine as long as nothing bad ever happens. Tough I take here as meaning mature/rational/future-time-oriented. My wife was way tougher in her 20s but staying home with kids led her to regress and become a less mature and resilient person.

Yep. I'm realizing that picking a good woman for marriage has very little to do with how much you two "click" and has a lot more to do with how good she is in bed, how well she puts up with your shit (i.e. she is patient and knows when to keep her mouth shut) and is good with kids.

A successful marriage has nothing to do with having shit in common, being from similar educational or socioeconomic backgrounds, or even having similar values apart from religious values, if one is so inclined.

Generally agreed but you have to remember that personality match matters. Similarly educational and socioeconomic background matters as well, as they inform the values and objectives of someone.

Example: I could never have married someone who grew up a poor, because their desire for gross material tokens of success is antithetical to my background. Does that mean I automatically excluded all poors? no, just the 99% who lacked my general worldview and educational achievement.

Also, check family and remember that the apple almost NEVER falls too far from the tree

I guess this makes sense. I guess I'm not so much concerned with personality as long as the girl lacks certain very negative personality traits. I can get along with pretty much any nice girl.

I guess I also understand where you're coming from re: socioeconomic status. But not all poors are like that. I know a few people who grew up in humble situations who have remained down to earth and frugal even despite achieving a good degree of financial success. In this regard I get along much better with a nice girl from a working class background who doesn't strive than with a chick from an upper middle class or lower upper class background who is very socially and professionally ambitious.

But other than those sorts of factors, I don't care about personality all too much. I can get along with most everyone.

I decided to marry my wife about two months after we met. Every young and in love couple thinks they've got something special that others don't. We had something special, but this really was different and we both knew it. This wasn't either of our first times. She'd been left at the altar and I'd been left in a faraway place. I thought I knew what love was before her. Now I realize that I didn't have a clue.

After our first date we cleared our calendars and hung out non stop except when working. We hadn't spent a free minute apart since meeting. She was hilarious and fun to hang out with. Unlike many of my former girlfriends, my friends loved hanging out with her. We became boyfriend/girlfriend a week after our first date and said 'I love you' by the end of the second.

She introduced me to her entrie extended family after eleven days together. They thought I was great. Her grandmother, the most important woman in her life, immediately liked me. I won over her dad, a former firefighter, when a drunk driver hit her and I made it to the scene within a minute of the police. I told him that she was going to be OK and that I loved her. I asked for his permisson to marry her three weeks later while frying a Thanksgiving turkey. He said yes.

We were married the following March. It's been the best five years of my life. We sit up late at night laughing at one another's jokes, both of us trying to fight off sleep because we're having too much fun. We've faced a lifetime of problems during those five years but all they've done is bring us closer together.

I married this girl because I never have to lie or pretend to be something I'm not. We've got the type of love everybody single hopes they'll find and every couple wishes they had. I married her because it would have been criminal not to. I married her because we've got something truly special.