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Frank Denton: The power of talking and listening

FILE - In this Friday, May 27, 2011, file photo, journalist James Foley poses for a photo during an interview with The Associated Press, in Boston. A video by Islamic State militants that purports to show the killing of Foley by the militant group was released Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2014. Foley, from Rochester, N.H., went missing in 2012 in northern Syria while on assignment for Agence France-Press and the Boston-based media company GlobalPost. (AP Photo/Steven Senne, File)

Whenever the identities of American patriots killed in Iraq and Afghanistan are released, “PBS Newshour” scrolls their names, military ranks and hometowns on the screen, in silence. Like most viewers probably, I stop what I’m doing and reflect on their sacrifice in our defense.

Last week, barbarians of the Islamic State butchered James Foley, a journalist covering the war in Syria. He was 40 years old, the eldest of five children of John and Diane Foley of Rochester, N.H. He had a history degree from Marquette University and taught elementary school through Teach for America before earning his master’s at the Medill School of Journalism and becoming a journalist. He was one of us.

“We have never been prouder of our son Jim,” Diane Foley wrote. “He gave his life trying to expose the world to the suffering of the Syrian people.”

Please take a moment to reflect on the sacrifice of this American patriot who died in the pursuit of truth and light.

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In his last moments, I wish Jim Foley could have had a glimpse of the ray of hope in Jacksonville last week.

The Times-Union is hosting a three-week visit from two Pakistani journalists, Waqas Khan, Lahore bureau chief of The Nation newspaper, and Sidrah Roghay, Karachi reporter for The News International. They are here to learn about American journalism and America.

Like about 95 percent of Pakistanis, they are Muslim, so at their request, we introduced them to leaders of the Islamic Center of Northeast Florida and took them there for midday prayers last Friday.

“I met many Muslims there from Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, China and Africa,” Khan wrote in his blog. “It was revealed in the discussion that Islam in USA is equally safe as any other religion and Muslims in America are enjoying equal religious rights.”

The local Muslims told about the attempted fire-bombing of the center in 2010 and the FBI’s spending a year tracking down a suspect, who was then killed during the arrest. “This was a wonderful example of equality before the law that U.S. guarantees to its every citizen irrespective of the religion,” Khan wrote for his Pakistani audience.

That Friday evening, I took Khan and Roghay to Back-to-School Shabbat and services at Congregation Ahavath Chesed, the reform synagogue, at the invitation of Rabbi Joshua Lief.

“For me,” Khan wrote, “it was a great opportunity as I had never met a Jew or visited a synagogue before in my life. . . I met with a nice couple over there and had plenty of discussion with them on different topics including Arab-Israel conflict. Later Rabbi Lief invited us to attend the prayer which we did in a big hall.”

And he met Rhoda London, who “told me that she is 70 years old, a Jew and has taught in public schools for 33 years and at Mercer University for 10 years. I also learned that her late father was a rabbi too.

“A discussion which started from democracy in America ended after a dinner at San Marco. . . She told me that in traditional synagogues, male and female Jews are not allowed to sit together, even to date, and in reform Jews it is allowed for male and female Jews to sit together in a synagogue. This was in line with mosques in Pakistan where the same rule is followed. I felt that there is something common between us. I then found some more commonalities between Muslims and Jews. Few are as below:

“Both believe that Christ is not the son of God.

“Both believe in Prophets.

“Both believe that fasting is a way to purify soul.”

And they talked about differences between Islam and Judaism – from views of Heaven and Hell to the Gaza conflict. On that topic, Khan wrote, “Honestly, I found that she was upset and quoted a statement of former Israeli Premier Golda Meir: ‘We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their children. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.’

“The discussion ended on a mutual consent that life of a Palestinian is equally sacred as one from Israel. I do not know if Jews in Israel are listening to Rhoda. I hope they would. Bombers are present in every religion. It is necessary to bring bombers down and raise humans up. Tolerance and accepting each other’s differences is a key to peace. Let the love take its course, let the hope live and let the hate die.”

London wrote her own reactions, in an e-mail to the rabbis and others at the Temple, and said Khan told her he “felt strangely moved. He was amazed to have met two rabbis and be having dinner with someone whose father was a rabbi — all three of them, of course, liberal in their outlooks. Apparently, the other people in his group assigned to other (news)papers were flabbergasted at his experience.

“Khan asked me lots of questions about Israel and showed me on his passport where it says he can visit any country but Israel. I explained to him that part of the responsibility of having a free press — especially for journalists — is to try to find out about all sides of any story/situation and certainly it gave him another side of Israel . . .

“Khan has a lovely wife and three sons, whom I saw when we shared family pictures. I told him about my experience this summer playing Yente the Matchmaker in ‘Fiddler (on the Roof),’ and he was slightly baffled at a plot being based on the concept of arranged marriages being replaced by love and free choice. His own marriage was arranged when he was 18!

“It was an interesting experience for both of us. . . I probably was more pleased with it than he was, since he probably found out more about Israel than he bargained for. Khan is four years older than my son and I warned him in advance that my son thinks I’m boring, but we were never really at a loss for words, including quite a discussion on President Obama and U.S. foreign relations (we agreed on most of that!), and it was a pleasant experience that I will remember.

“Life is full of surprises!”

In a later e-mail to me, London said she told Khan some things about Jews and Israel he hadn’t heard, “how Israel is often the first one at the scene after disasters such as hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes. Their medical teams are swift and well equipped to arrive well before other countries can even think about providing aid. I also mentioned to him the Jewish concept . . . Tikkun olam — repair the world. That Israelis might not be mindless killers was news to him, and I sent documentation of that. I’ve not received comments, but even if they provide something to think about, that’s good, too!”

After reading Khan’s blog, London wrote him: “This is a wonderful blog, which I will share with my friends.

“I would like to clarify a few things. I don’t think that Jews are necessarily better friends with God than anyone else. We have a history of questioning God’s decisions going back to Moses, whereas people in some religions are not allowed to do that. I have many questions about God myself, but think that he (or she) ought to love us all equally.

“Also as such an ancient religion, we were the first to equate ethics and morality with our religion. ‘Ethical monotheism’ is the term, which was a different approach than offering sacrifices and other ways of bribing God for favor. It was a concept adopted by other religions in some form or another, many of which consider it an improvement on Judaism. Whatever religion causes people to be moral people with good values is fine with us!”

London wrote, “I’m delighted that Jacksonville’s Islamic community feels welcome here and that you have enjoyed your visit. Jacksonville is a microcosm where basically most people get along and wish the best for others. We still have major problems with poverty, crime and other issues which we are trying to improve. Sometimes it takes generations to make a difference, but I truly feel that as a city we must keep moving forward and we are trying hard to do that.”

The hunger for human progress is such that these Jacksonville conversations went viral. “It really has been amazing how this has rippled,” London told me. “My college roommate . . . is the daughter of two Holocaust survivors. She lives in a North Chicago suburb and rents rooms in her large home to foreign students, some of whom have been from Arab countries. She’s shared this ongoing discussion with two engineering students from Saudi Arabia, who are current residents, and they’ve shared it with friends. There have been other responses as well!”

I decided I had to include you in this experience when I read an e-mail that Brenda B. Pollak, another Temple member, wrote to Khan after reading his blog:

“I am filled with gratitude for your visit to our community and our Temple, and for those who made this all possible. I am also filled with hope, because through your willingness and that of others, to learn and to teach, to discover commonalities and shed light on differences, barriers were lowered and the foundations for trust were built.

“I firmly believe that when we are willing to see others with new eyes, and listen with new ears, we universally find that we are all far more alike than different. I applaud you for being open to new ideas and for helping others to gain a new perspective on Islam.

“I am encouraged by the statement in your article, ‘It is necessary to bring bombers down and raise humans up. Tolerance and accepting each other’s differences is a key to peace. Let the love take its course, let the hope live and let the hate die.’ I join you in this wish, and pray that you and all those you met on this visit may be the hands of God/Allah in making that happen.”

So, Jim, from your colleagues in Jacksonville, Karachi and Lahore: one step back but one and a half steps forward.