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Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Living in the Real World

This is not an art post.. This is a me post.. I have always lived in a Dream World. When I was a dancer I dreamed of Dancing .. Now that I'm an Artist because I can not hardly walk anymore I dream of Art.. I never dreamed of becoming a Mom, a Homemaker a man's good wife.. But now that I'm 61 all the things I have ever wanted or maybe it's all I needed is the above.. I get the if's.. If I had had children they would be older now and be loving and taking care of me.. If I wanted a home I would have owned one and it would be payed for by now and I'd be safe.. If I didn't fruck around so much I would have been married for years and years and once again what's the word.. words "Be Safe" I never feel safe anymore. I feel kinda lost in my old age. I have a husband that loves me very much .. but that's after three others that loved me very much.. I have lost everything, gained everything and lost everything again.. so what's it all about Alfie.. It's about having children, having a house and a husband that "stands by your man/woman" .. Now in my old age I can see this so clearly.. " I can see clearly now" La la la.. why couldnt' I see this as I was going on each adventure.. dodging the planes as we brought marijuana in, meeting the socialites as we held big events as politicians, running away to Hawaii for the fun of it.. why didn't I see that in my old age I would need just what I didn't want.. boy if hind site was blah blah blah.. In everything in life the word "Be Safe" is so important when you get my age.. I can't stay under a bridge if my landlord sells the house because the wheelchair won't fit., I can't eat out of a garbage can because I'm on a special diet since they took my teeth. and I certainly can't sleep on the ground as I need a special mattress for my bad back.. so what's a gal to do who hits 61 with no security.. I tell ya the answer is blowing in the wind.. bullchit.. The answer is pray your ass off to "Be Safe"..

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