Jun 9, 2009

The girls had an assignment for their Music Worship Camp. Bring in a photo of yourself worshipping the Lord through song or dance.

What the leader didn't know is that our girls....were not professing Christ followers. Shocking, huh? Especially growing up with us "on fire types"....within a "Christian" home.

We have spoken much about why it is that they have had difficulty believing. One would shrug her shoulders...not really having a clue as to why...or not choosing to articulate her reasons. The other confessed recently that she has been trying to "be better....you know not sin as much" before she asked Jesus into her heart. "Hmmmmmm," I answered not very long ago. "Do you think it makes any sense at all....I mean, to wait until you clean up your act when the Lord in His power and by His Spirit....is the only One who can truly help you do that in any way shape or form...? then..."btw...that's prideful. Jesus' blood covers all the stuff that we are trying to clean up on our own." Her answer....as the light bulb flickered in her mind...."I never thought of it like that. No.....that doesn't make any sense, does it, Mom?"

"Nope,"I responded. Then I shared the story w/Bradley, my mom, and a friend and went back to praying unceasingly for the Lord to get a hold of the hearts of my children.

Last week...a pastor seemed taken quite aback when we shared that our 11 and 13 year old daughters did not yet partake in the Lord's table. When asked, "Really? Why not? When will you let them?"....we responded simply with, "When they have saving faith."

So tonight....my girls found themselves in a dilemma. They have many photos of themselves dancing in Worship services over the years. They've danced in churches. They danced at the Veteran's Hospital....in nursing homes...in the CHRISTmas musical...many many cute outfits and pretty photos with wide praise smiles and raised hands. But they could not answer my next question without confronting the Truth the Way and the Life. You have many photos you could bring....but if you do not know Jesus....who were/are you worshipping when you dance?

Silence.

We are upstairs later...when without fanfare...and any hoopla at all.....Jemima whispers through a shaky voice...."Mom, I want to become a Christian." I ask her to come downstairs with me and speak in front of the family so that when the day comes that she questions her salvation...she can be encouraged by witnesses of her testimony and conversion. On the verge of tears...she tells Bradley, Bria and myself...with Galilee and Zion watching....how she knows that she is a sinner and needs salvation. Bria's immediate and heartfelt response..."Cool."

She explains how she wants to pray to someone and believe in that someone because it's ridiculous to pray just to pray which is what she's been doing...and how she want to go to church for a reason... not for no reason. She quivers and her eyes fill up...as if she is going to cry. When asked why....she says, "because I know I am a sinner." "This is not something someone does in an attempt to be popular," I tell her (knowing her temptations well.) She poo paas me. "Nooooo. I know that my friends love me whether I am a Christian or not," she reassures us. "It has nothing to do with being popular but has to do with me being a sinner and needing Jesus." I tell her that we love her no matter what...whether she accepts the Lord at His Word or not. She know this. I am sure she believes it too...with all that is in her.... because she sees how fiercely we love the non-believers in our lives. She wants to be a Christian." My darling daughter climbs into my lap and we pray together. She is saved so sweetly...so gently...so humbly. So gracefully.

As I kiss Zion goodnight...she's obviously pondering what just took place between her sister and the Lord. "So that's how you do it?"...she asks. "That's how you become a Christian?" "There is no magic way," I tell her. "But yeah...that's how you do it." We've talked about it before...Zion and I. She's even asked to say the prayer. Twice...(time will reveal if the fruit of repentance is growing in the garden of her life.) What I do know...is that witnessing her sister's brokenness left a mark on her tonight and that I've never ever been more pleased that we have a cramped home where three daughters share a room. By design...due to sovereignly placed circumstances...Zion hears every word spoken in that place. That is...until she falls sound asleep.

40 minutes later???? 45?????....after all lights are turned out and girls are tucked into beds....Galilee enters the living room where we are watching television with tear streaked cheeks and swollen eyes. She is an absolute mess. Train wreck. Disaster area.

She and Jemima have been passionately discussing her predicament. She blurts out..."I am a sinner. I am a *!**!!#!itchy sinner and I am stuck!" We turn the t.v. off. Bradley, Bria, and I have slow motion eye contact. Galilee purges everything that she has been holding inside about how horrible she feels about her choices and her damaged relationships, her selfishness, her disobedience, her trying to live life on her own... and her anger. She is sobbing. Mcabe enters the house at the height of it. He takes his place on the couch and listens to her raw tranparent confession alongside us. Galilee articulates very well...the miserable condition of her heart...who Jesus is and why she needs HIM to get her unstuck. She tells us that the last time she did this...talked about accepting Jesus into her heart....she didn't really understand any of it and so she didn't really mean it. We affirm the fact that the last time ....when she was 5???....there was no evidence of conviction of sin and that there has been no evidence of Godly fruit in her life over the years since. She agrees.

Oh, Lord to have authentic heathens living in my home rather than white washed tombs.

With tears still flowing...she tells us that today at VBX she was convicted of her need for the Lord but that she didn't know if she should talk with a teacher or with us. We tell her that it's best that she talked with us....because we know her so well....her weaknesses....temptations etc...but that if at any time during the day...she believed the Gospel message as true.... that no words were needed for salvation at that moment because the Lord could hear her heart speaking.

Still...she climbs into my lap and we pray...for a long time. Different words than Jemima prayed. Different child. Different needs. Different struggles. She is more broken than I have ever seen her and climbs back into bed filled with more hope than I ever dreamed dared to dream possible for her in my own weakness.

This nite has almost been too unbelievable for me to believe. I am so humbled by this loving King who works in His time schedule to draw His children when He does...in the ways that He does...so that all glory and honor is given to Him.

Jemima wanted to dance...so she plugged in the boom box...put on a praise song and danced. Galilee was so relieved. Such a heavy burden lifted from her heart.

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This morning...a new day has dawned. As I get breakfast ready...I overhear Galilee declare that she feels such a peace. That she feels like a new person. She is amazed that her anger is gone. All the anger she has been carrying is gone. I remind her that the anger will most likely rear it's ugly head again...somewhere down the road...but that now she has the Holy Spirit to help her through it.

I find out that she and Jemima reintroduced themselves last night...shaking hands as new people meeting for the very first time before slumber overtook them.

Zion is confused. "Wait, Galilee got saved too?" she asks.

"Yes," I tell her. Last night after you fell asleep Galilee came to Mommy and Daddy and talked all about the ugly sin in her life and how she wanted to accept Jesus and have Him change her heart."

Zion's eyebrows raised...almost in disbelief. I can't read minds but I think she was thinking, "WOW!"