Fanboys are breathless from so much wanking today, paralyzed by genital turgidity because Apple…
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5. Invest heavily in Newton technology. — Wired, 1997
Newton was cool, but not that cool. Instead we got a single OS that runs everywhere, from the desktop to the iPad, iPhone and iPod touch, which use the ARM family of chips the Newton used to run on.

4. Apple should adopt Windows. — John C. Dvorak, 2006
To kill itself, he meant. And he said this after Mac OS X was already a reality.

3. Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone. — John C. Dvorak, 2007
You gotta admit he was hilarious. Of course, he didn't know that the iPhone was going to be Apple's key to taking all over the world.

2. Get out of the hardware game. — Wired, 1997
It'd have been silly to get out of the hardware game when it gives huge margins and makes it possible to control everything in the platform Apple owns.

1. "What would I do? I'd shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders." — Michael Dell, 1996
Dell now has a $25.82 billion capitalization, with sad sales and margins. Apple is now at $338.39 billion, with insane sales, profits and margins. Poor Mickey.