A guy hitting .214 with 1 HR and 9 RBI in 44 games should just be happy to have a job.

Then again, when your $4.5 million salary is guaranteed, why worry anyway?

That said, Garrett Atkins offered one of the all-time great quotes on Friday. Atkins, in case you’re not following the Orioles these days (and most of you aren’t, I know) is the above-referenced player, with 1 HR and 9 RBI this year.

Andy MacPhail promised us all he was going to buy the bats last off-season. He bought…Garrett Atkins.

Anyway, Atkins has been rumored to be on his way out for the last week or two. With several players returning to the team through either minor-league call-up or injury rehab, Atkins figures to be in the final stages of his all-too-brief Orioles career.

You would assume that bothers him, right? The prospect of getting cut in mid-season…a veteran player…brought to Baltimore with great expectations…making a decent salary. It should irk him a little bit that he’s on the verge of getting jettisoned, right?

Wrong.

Atkins was quoted on Friday as saying being released by the Orioles now would be a “welcome opportunity” and that he wouldn’t look at it like a negative.

I guess when the team you’re playing for is 21-52, getting out of Dodge might be not be such a bad thing. Then again, your poor play is one of the reasons the team has the worst record in baseball.

Garrett Atkins – like Private Santiago in A Few Good Men – is apparently begging for his release.

He would consider it a “welcome opportunity”.

I would too.

If someone can wake Andy MacPhail up from his summer nap, pleaes pass along to the boss that one of his off-season additions would like to move on to greener pastures.