When it comes to pleasing the ladies, Girl in a Coma’s four-string slapper uses her softer hand

They had just released their “Road to Home” video starring lip-synching wonder Amanda Lepore and were booked on the Vans Warped Tour. The Diaz sisters Nina (vocals) and Phanie (drums), and lesbian bassist Jenn Alva, were on a three-day swing through Texas: San Antonio, Houston and then Dallas on July 13. But at the last minute, the all-Latina act crossed off their Dallas gig? And we felt stood up.

On Friday, however, they’re headed back North Texas.

Any resentment will most likely be forgiven, because Girl in a Coma’s music is like a throwback to The Smiths envisioned by Joan Jett. Actually, Morrissey’s musical director produced their demo disc, and Jett released their debut album “Both Before I’m Gone” on her Blackheart Records label.

Earlier this week, Alva answered some tawdry e-mail questions that only the lone queer in the band could answer.

How come Girl in a Coma bailed on the Warped stop in Dallas? We didn’t bail. It was just a miscommunication. Actually, we were never supposed to be scheduled to play [the Dallas stop].

What’s the best bass line to seduce a lady? Anything by Les Claypool not! Bass lines don’t really work. But when it comes to seduction, maybe play some Travis or Air.

You’re a bassist, so the fingertips on your left hand are probably calloused. Has a sexual partner ever complained that your meat hooks are simply too rough for her va-jay-jay? I don’t use my left hand.

If lesbian bass virtuoso Meshell Ndegeocello and you dueled over the same gal, who’d win? Meshell I don’t duel for girls.

Who came up with the excellent idea to use Amanda Lepore for the “Road to Home” video? Nina came up with the idea to use a transsexual. So why not use the world’s most famous sexually reassigned wonder? By the way, Amanda is incredibly sweet and a professional lady. Nothing too crazy went on at the shoot.

If Amanda made a pass at you, could you take the ball and run with it? Or is she not woman enough to handle a gal like you? I don’t think I’m women enough for her.

What do you promise to do at your Denton gig that you’ve never done before? I promise to play the all songs correctly.