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danny541, Parenting Answer Team

Category: Parenting

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Experience: Have 5 children !

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my children are constantly arguing they will not do as their

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my children are constantly arguing they will not do as their told i am fighting to get them to listen to me. I am shouting at them every day and feel like im getting at them all the time but they just dont listen to me. Ihave a boy aged 10 and a girl aged 6.They dont go to sleep until after 10pm every night they tell me to shut up if i tell them off when i say they cant play out they just say yes we are we will be good give us one last chance but the last chances are getting a bit much now i just dont no which way to turn as im not doing them any good continuosly shouting at them.

My children havent allways been like this things have just seemed to spiral out of control.I started work 2 years ago after being at home with my children from day 1 they were fine with me working initially but in the last 6 months they dont like me going to work.They are with their dad or grandparents when im at work so its not like im leaving them with just anybody they love their dad but allways want to be with me as their dad hasnt really done much with them as he works long hours most of the time and when he is at home he tired i do all activities with them and sport at the weekend they are really good whrever i take them nobody has a bad word for them and say they are good kids which they are until they are with me there no trouble for their dad either but they do be naughty when hes in and i just shout as he sits there and doesnt say anything then thres a big row he says im to soft with them im at the end of my tether.

I see, so dad just leaves it to you to be the boss, and the kids just want to have their way and you not work and be a stay at home mom! Its all they have ever known, they are not happy so they are acting out to get a response from you, then you yell, its a response but not approprete to the situation.

Yelling isn't going to work you have already proved this to yourself. So the next step would be to sit down with them separately at first, to cut down on smart remarks and yelling. Ask why they are acting this way, and try to give answers that they will understand for their age.

Let them know that you love them very much, but these actions can not continue, if it does, you will have to separate them and give the right response and punishment that they need. Take away things they really feel they can not live with out, if needed lock them in a closet, for one week, if things do not improve tell them they can't have their things back until there is a change, and no matter how small the change may be, let them have something back.

Let them know that you love them very much , but you need to go to work, so they may have a better life, and that you also miss them very much.

And even though dad works long hours he needs to find things to do to entertain them after school work or chores are done. Even if its just out to get a pizza or ice cream, or rent a movie they can all watch and discuss it, or just enjoy each others company.

The grandparents should get into it also, and just do little things, make a batch of cookies, or color pictures, something that is just special for them.

And you must learn not to yell, they are causing a problem to get a reaction from you, don't let them push your buttons.

Please let me know if you need further help with this. I'm here for you to discuss anything that is a bother to you !

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