KIRKUS REVIEW

A heartfelt memoir plumbs the multilayered
experience of being Muslim in America.

With a steady infusion of verve and
personality, Rehman immerses readers in the traditions of a Middle Eastern
culture in which prearranged adolescent marriages (including her own) are not
uncommon. In 1971, the author, the accommodating daughter of a lieutenant
colonel, arrived in the United States as a 20-year-old Pakistani, planning only
to remain in America for two years while her charming, charismatic husband,
Khalid, finished his medical residency. Rehman appropriately counters lavish
descriptions of gilded pre-wedding rituals and the pageantry of the matrimonial
ceremony with discussions of the culture clash as her new life in New York City
began. Her tendency to inject plucky, italicized interior asides, however, has
the uneven narrative effect of being both whimsical and interruptive. Self-indulgences
aside, the author writes candidly about feeling insulted when American women
questioned the validity of her predestined marriage or the
culture-contradictory ideas of nursing homes for elderly family members.
Holidays and childbirth proved more complicated and further loosened Rehman’s
grip on her religion, and later, she faced the challenge of incorporating
Islamic religion into the lives of her Americanized children. Though she
stringently resisted her own Americanization, 44 years later, Rehman remains a
content citizen with a career in hospital administration, years dedicated to
women’s equality, and an executive position at an Islamic multifaith
organization, which, the author rivetingly details, faced an anti-Islamic
backlash for their participation in the construction of a Muslim mosque blocks
from the 9/11 site in downtown Manhattan. In her closing remarks, the author
reflects on the contemporary shift taking place within her culture, her hopes
for continued cultural pluralism in America, and the need for safe community
spaces for immigrants “where we can be wholly Muslim and wholly American.”
Rehman's memoir offers a deeper understanding and appreciation for Muslim
lifestyles while imparting a message of unity and international fellowship.

A culturally rich and rewarding
personal chronicle of ethnic faith and intermingled tradition.

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