Wednesday, October 14, 2009

“GIRLFRIENDS”Young and newly married, I relaxed under a pecan tree on a hot Texas summer day, drinking iced tea and getting to know my new sister-in-law, Estelle.Not much older than I, but already a mother of three, Estelle seemed to me experienced and wise.

“Get yourself some girlfriends, Lacreta,” she advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. “You are going to need girlfriends.

Go places with them; do things with them.” What a funny piece of advice, I thought. Hadn’t I just gotten married? Hadn’t I just joined the couple-world? I was a married woman, for goodness sake…not a young girl who needed girlfriends.

But I listened to this new sister-in-law. I got myself some girlfriends.As the years tumbled by, one after another, gradually I came to understand that Estelle knew what she was talking about. I remembered that she had said the word “girlfriends” with emphasis. As I went along, I discovered the subtle difference between friends and girlfriends. You go to work with friends, go to dinner with friends, go to church with friends, belong to clubs with friends. You send friends greeting cards. You need friends in your life, all girlfriends were once only friends. But a girlfriend is different.A girlfriend is not “just like a sister.” Sisters have a distinct bond, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Sisters flow from family attachment; girlfriends choose each other. A sister can also be a girlfriend. As a thank-you to my sister-in-law and to the other girlfriends in my life, I offer this praise of girlfriends.

Here is what I know about girlfriends:Girlfriends don’t compete.

Girlfriends keep your children, and keep your secrets.

Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don’t.

Girlfriends don’t always tell you that you are right.

Girlfriends might send you a birthday card, but they might not. It does not matter in the least.

Girlfriends laugh with you and don’t need canned jokes to start the laughter.

Girlfriends don’t yammer behind your back.

Girlfriends pull you out of jams.

Girlfriends don’t keep a calendar of who hosted the other last.

Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby-in whichever order that comes.

And girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and truly, when the hard times come.

Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a husband.Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.

Girlfriends listen when your parent’s minds and bodies fail.

Girlfriends bless my life.Once when we were young, with no idea of the incredible joys or the incredible sorrows that law ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.I want to tell young women to take my sister-in-law’s advice.

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THE BLOGGERS PRAYER

Lord help me to learn to spell without spellcheck, manage to visit all that visit me, and post regularly- all in 5 minutes a day, so that I can clean house and take care of my family. Help me to not look at every occurrence in my life as a blog post, and to quit taking pictures of weird things to share as well. Please Lord, help me to stop talking about my blog friends as though they are next door neighbors or someone I have known all my life. And help me dear Lord, to think of something witty and wise to post tomorrow.Love, The Dust Bunny Hostage