My circle of friends ebbs and flows like....well, like my weight. And after having Scout, it has been no mystery that I've found myself busy with an influx of friend activities one week, and then completely solitary the next. It's not something I expected, but something that I've come to accept, like the stretchmarks that now brand my body.

There are so many different ways your life changes after having a baby (good and not so good)...and, I wanted to share a little of my experience in THIS department. I've always been a private person...and there are probably 3 people in the world that I know that I can talk to about ANYTHING. I like to be alone some days and I like to be surrounded by people on other days.

I don't think I'm the BEST friend of many. In fact, it's always been hard for me to make friends, for various different reasons. Since getting pregnant with Scout, I think I've found that I've not had time or energy to make new friends, but have really solidified and revisited some of my older friendships.

Most of our friends knew we were trying to get pregnant for the nine months before we actually conceived. So it didn't come as "that much" of a shock when we announced that we were expecting. What we didn't expect were the cheers of joy mixed with the "aw man, now we can't hang out/party/have play dates/go out as much."

It's not just my friendships that have changed, it's also J's. J hasn't played soccer since late in my pregnancy (something he's done since he could walk). He literally goes to work, comes home and is a daddy and a husband to us and doesn't really have time for himself. Granted, he could choose to make some time, but he would rather spend time with us than without us (most days--haha).

Recently, I've really tried to strengthen friendships and learn new things to help me with my own sense of self. Yes, I am a mother...but that's not all that I have to offer. I devote myself 99.9% to my family...which leaves me .1% to do activities that I enjoy by myself or with friends (girl's nights, shopping, golf, crafting, movie night...etc). This in turn makes me feel better about myself. And if I feel better, that trickles down to my relationship with my husband and my daughter.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the friends I have for understanding that my world has been rocked in the last 19 months. I'd like to thank my friends for being patient, dropping by the house (when it's easier), helping me keep my sanity, introducing me to new activities, and getting me out of the house when I need it the most. You guys are the best and I love you for it!

This was baby's first Christmas...and I know you aren't supposed to say "Christmas (or other event, here) is so much better with a baby." BUT...my holiday season was so much merrier with Scout here. And maybe that's not the same thing. Maybe a baby doesn't change everything...maybe WE change things once the baby gets here.

It was a different and somewhat difficult year for present buying. We didn't want to spend money on ourselves or on each other. We wanted to buy her the world. We wanted to introduce her to Christmas lights, trees, Santa, snow, wrapping paper, tissue paper, bubble wrap, baby dolls and the spirit of giving.

Baby met (and was quizzically intrigued with) Santa, stared at lights and touched her first Christmas tree. She helped me decorate (and un-decorate and then decorate again) the tree and house for the holidays. She tried and finally got the hang of unwrapping presents, though she disapproved of bubble wrap. She experienced her first Miltos, Toy Joy and (almost) Trail of Lights tradition with family. She kissed the baby dolls and hugged them, tackled them, and tried to figure out their hands, feet, eyes, noses and eyelashes. She saw her first snow. She had her first Christmas Eve celebration with extended family. She left milk and cookies for Santa for the first time. She got a letter from Santa for the first time. She had her first Christmas morning and opened her stocking for the first time to find all kinds of goodies.

It was the best Christmas of our lives and part of that has to be because we were sharing it with our baby girl.

Oh hey there, readers! Notice anything new about me? That's right....I had a little work done. Welcome to the new blog. It all started with a new name. Then, thanks to a little genius and a lot of hard work...it all came together. So, thanks J. You rock my face off.