The Power is in the Story You Tell

Positive thinking is about choice and the desire to feel good through your life. All thinking and decisions are choice. We have the power of choosing how to perceive a situation and from the perception, we then decide how to act.

When an event occurs, we immediately ask ourselves the question, “What does this mean?” Our thinking is layered by our overarching bias towards or against something. So for example, a stranger can give you flowers and your personal story begins to dictate how you will think. You may think, “That’s weird , what does he want from me? Or you may think, “That was very kind of him.”

The question you ask brings about a feeling. The “that’s weird” thought brings about a feeling of fear stemming from distrust, whereas the “kind” comment brings a more pleasant feeling reinforcing a belief in the kindness of strangers. Neither one of thee thoughts are wrong or right, but they do lead to a certain feeling you’ll have as an outcome, which begs the question, ‘How do you want to feel as you go through your day?’

The power of positive thinking and choosing to look at what’s good about a situation allows for a person to have more positive feelings throughout the day. Grant it you can have a positive feeling of “that was nice” and the person really did want something from you, however the person who is thinking more positively is not as effected emotionally by the stranger’s “ask” as the person who was more distrustful. Think about it this way, the person starting with a negative perspective is then adding another negative to their belief (I don’t trust him and he wants something). The positive thinker is starting from a positive and adding a negative which bring the person back to zero, or the place they started from which is positivity. In the end, the positive thinker is not as effected and therefore remains with a positive feeling.

If you goal is to to feel good, choosing to see what could be good about each event allows you to feel better about your life, which will in turn give you the power to act with kindness, which more often than not will be reciprocated adding to your feelings of positivity.

In the end, life is a choice. If you want to feel good, choosing to see the good in situation will allow for positive feelings.

Relationships are very hard because you have to be vulnerable. When people enter a relationship with their defenses up, not only do they not allow the other person to get to know them, but they also don’t give their all due to their fear. The result is a failed relationship and a reinforced belief that the right person doesn’t exist.

Relationships are possible only when you drop your defenses.

Four Key Strategies for Being Open in a Relationship are:

1) Remember that the person you are entering the relationship with is not your past relationships. This is a different person. While you may have been hurt before, it wasn’t by this person.

2) Remember you are not perfect either. Like every other person, you have your awesome side, and your faults.The other person deserves a chance, just like they are taking a chance on you.

3) Remember people don't have the same definitions. In other words, what you don't like about yourself, someone may not care about, or may even find endearing.

4) Remember the other person is just as scared as you. If you open up to them, it allows them the opportunity to do the same for you.

Ultimately, if your goal is to be in a relationship, you have to take a risk. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and like everything else you try in life, rarely do you get it right the first time. You have to be okay with some pain if you want to have a lot of pleasure. More importantly, perhaps you will have some fun and learn some thing along the way.

We have all been hurt by people we love. As that hurt grows, we build walls to protect ourselves. So imagine laying a brick for each time you’ve been hurt. Eventually you will succeed at building a wall big enough to protect yourself from the pain of others. I can visualize a person standing and looking up at this great big wall, arms folded, smiling, thinking, “I did it!”

Do you see the problem here?

The wall you built to protect yourself is the same wall that is now your prison and keeps love away from you.

In order to truly love someone, you have to love someone for who they are, not who you want them to be. That doesn’t mean you have to like everything they do. It means you have to accept that they are going to make mistakes and yes sometimes you will get hurt as a result.

So whether you are in a relationship or seeking one, start removing the bricks one by one.

Brick removal secrets: not criticizing, not telling the other person they are wrong, supporting the other person when they mess up, giving extra hugs (even if you don’t feel like it), listening to the other person without thinking about your response, and being present for them.

The Gifted Storyteller

The Bestseller Novel and Way of Life that will Inspire, Motivate and help you deal with feelings of loss to Create the Life you Want to Inspire.

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