Somewhere in America, grown adults are getting paid real legal currency to teach teenagers how to not have sex. And thanks to a deal the Obama administration was begrudgingly forced to cut with conservative legislators, these hoboes on the abstinence-only education gravy train will be able to continue riding the rails for one more year. That's right — we're still giving tax money to useless, pointless, opposite-helpful abstinence-only education programs.

The President hasn't been shy about expressing his opposition to abstinence-only education programs, but thanks to some Washington style wheeling and dealing, $5 million worth of federal grants were just awarded to 9 different organizations that, according to Think Progress, provide "mentoring, counseling and adult supervision to promote abstinence from sexual activity."

The reason we're still throwing money at this garbage is that even though Obama eliminated George W Bush-relic Title V abstinence funding from his budget, during the Health Care clusterfuck debate (remember that? So much shouting!), one wily Utah Senator snuck in a provision restoring abstinence-only education funds into the Senate version of the Affordable Care Act. No-porking pork, if you will. And so Obama's budget cut was un-cut by the party of fiscal restraint and conservatism. It's opposite day!

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Thanks to more party haggling, the Don't Touch Each Other's Junk earmarks stuck around in this year's budget as well. And that's why we're still sending money to programs that demonstrably don't work in the face of ballooning debt.