Date: Tue, 04 Nov 2003 10:11:23 +0000
From: blueboy3649@hotmail.com
Subject: The Footballer Part 5
The usual disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. It contains scenes that involve sex between
consenting adult males and if this offends you, or if you are underage, or
prohibited by law from viewing such material, leave now.
Thanks to everyone who's emailed me about this story, I've had an amazing
response, and I'd love to hear your comments on this last part. Sorry it's
been so long coming! I know a lot of you wanted me to keep the series going
but I think I've taken it as far as I can, and it's time to lay it to rest
and move on to another story. Still, you never know, one day I might get the
urge to dig it back outta the grave... :-)
****************************
Part Five
(Narration switches a couple of times between Dan and Lee. Dan is narrating
to start with).
Feeling completely numb, I walked towards the pitch, ready to start the
game, oblivious to Tina's cheers of encouragement. I felt sick inside, and I
couldn't get the image of Lee lying on his death-bed out of my mind. The
match kicked off and I tried to follow the ball, figure out what was going
on, get my mind on the game... but it was no good. I had to go and see him.
I had to know that he was going to be alright.
"I'm sorry," I said, to anyone who was listening. "I've gotta go!"
"Are you alright, Dan?" I heard a voice say.
"I can't play, I'm feeling sick, I've gotta go, I'm sorry." The words
spilled out formlessly, and I turned to leave.
"Dan!" I heard another voice shout, and this time I recognised it as Tina's.
I looked up at her, suddenly disgusted with the fact that I'd chosen this
boring, brainless, buxom tart over Lee. Without a word to her, I turned and
ran towards my car, not looking back, and not listening to anything anyone
might be shouting. Tears welled in my eyes, as I stumbled with the key in
the ignition, finally succeeding and pulling away as fast as I could.
As I drove, I realised that I had no idea where I was going; Mark hadn't
mentioned which hospital Lee was in. There were two main hospitals in the
area, and I took a chance on the nearer one.
How I could have been concentrating on driving I have no idea, because all I
could think about was Lee. But looking back now, it seemed as though the
journey, even though I hardly remember it, had taken no time at all.
I rushed to the A&E department when I got to the hospital, and learned that
someone of Lee's name had indeed been admitted and was indeed in intensive
care. They directed me to where he was, and I bounded up the stairs to the
second floor, finally reaching his room, and looking through the window. And
there he lay, still as the night, eyes closed, and a network of pipes and
tubes connecting him to various machines. It wasn't the most pleasant sight,
but just seeing him there, still alive, gave me the warm, comforting feeling
I needed.
I don't know how long I stood there for, sweat dripping off me, and slowly
getting my breath back. Lee's face was beautiful and when he got better and
got out of here, I was going to plant a thousand kisses on it. I didn't care
who he was sleeping around with. And anyway, where were all the others now,
if they cared for him so much, why weren't they here? I cared for him more
than any of them, and I was going to make sure Lee knew.
Eventually, a woman appeared next to me, also watching Lee through the
window. She looked like she hadn't slept very well last night, and it struck
me that Lee had exactly his mother's eyes.
"You a friend of his?" she asked, with a smile.
"Yeah," I said. "We play football together."
"Oh, right. It was nice of you to come."
"I had to know he's gonna be alright. He is gonna be alright, isn't he?"
"Well, the doctors say the signs are hopeful," she said. "With a bit of
luck, he'll be fine."
I'd never felt a more enormous sense of relief.
"They're going to move him out of intensive care shortly," she continued.
"And when he wakes up, we should be able to speak to him."
I smiled my first smile since being given the news of the accident.
"I'm gonna get a coffee, d'you want one?"
"Yeah," I said, and we walked leisurely down the corridor towards the
coffee-machine.
"Are you good friends then?" said Lee's mother.
"Uh  yeah  my name's Dan," I said, by way of a belated introduction.
"Oh, *you're* Dan," she said, with a surprised look.
That sounded ominous. "Yeah... why, has he... mentioned me or something?"
She hesitated for a moment.
"I'm not in the habit of prying," she said. "But I overheard Lee on the
phone to a friend a few days ago. I didn't hear much of the conversation,
but from what I did hear, he seems very"
She hesitated for a moment, thinking how best to put it.
"Very fond of you," she said finally, giving me a warm smile. I immediately
blushed and returned the smile, a warm feeling spreading through my body. It
was me she'd heard him talk about, not anyone else, not any of his other
fuck-buddies, but me. He'd been screwing other guys but I was the one he was
"fond of". I couldn't stop smiling. I'd forgiven him already.
I came back to the hospital the next morning, and Lee had indeed been taken
out of intensive care and put in his own private room. I went inside, pulled
up a chair and sat down next to him. He was asleep with the most peaceful
look on his face. It was hard to believe that this was a guy who had told me
he loved me and then cheated on me.
"Hello, babe," I said, feeling a little sheepish talking to someone who was
asleep. "Hope you get better soon."
I put my hand on his arm, feeling his smooth, warm skin. I didn't really
know what else to say so I just spoke my mind, talking slowly, and pausing
between each sentence.
"I came as soon as I heard what happened. I was really scared. I just wanted
you to be OK. I know I've hurt you, but... well, you've hurt me aswell. Why
did you have to sleep around? I thought we had something. Anyway, we can
talk about all that afterwards."
"I didn't sleep with anyone else."
I was startled to hear Lee's voice, though it was barely more than a croak.
I looked up and saw that he'd half-opened one eye.
I smiled at him, happy that he was awake at last. "That doesn't matter right
now. How are you feeling?"
"Tired," he croaked.
"Well, the doctors reckon you're gonna be alright," I said.
"Why did you come?" he asked, every word requiring special effort.
"'Cos I..." I began, not sure how to answer. My hand was still resting on
his arm, and I moved it down and held his hand, squeezing it gently.
"I had to know you were gonna be alright," I said.
"Why do you care?"
"Of course I care!"
"Mark?"
"Mark's probably gonna come down and see you tomorrow."
"You and Mark"
"Yeah, we'll both be here," I smiled encouragingly. But he was shaking his
head slightly, as if I hadn't understood.
"No, you and Mark..." he said, now slowly breathing each word. "Together...
kissing... naked."
And then I understood. Somehow, he knew about me and Mark.
"You kissed him," he continued, regaining a little strength as he spoke now.
"You just get better, yeah?" I said. This wasn't the time nor the place to
discuss my feelings for Mark, or lack of them. He closed his eyes again, and
I looked at his beautiful face, wondering yet again why I'd hurt him like I
had. I planted a kiss on his lips, then sat back down. I was hoping to see
some indication of a smile, but Lee didn't flinch.
"I'll, uh... I'll let you get some rest then, yeah?"
Lee spoke after a few seconds. "Go back to Mark."
"I'll be back tomorrow," I said, ignoring his comment.
"Don't bother," came the weak response.
I didn't know how he knew about Mark and I, but it was clear how hurt he was
by it. I turned and left the room, walking
slowly down the corridor. At least he was going to live, I told myself.
Everything else we could sort out later.
I went back the next day, but Lee's mother stopped me outside the room.
"It's really good of you to come again," she smiled. "But Lee's said he's
not up to visitors just yet."
She must have read the disappointment in my face, and gave me an apologetic
look. "He'll be home in a few days, why don't you pop round and see him
then?"
I was disappointed Lee was refusing to see visitors, and I thought it was
pretty obvious that it was because he didn't want to see me. I was wishing
to God that I'd never got involved with Mark, but I wasn't beating myself up
over it. I loved Lee, and I knew he loved me, and as soon as he was well
enough, we were going to get to the bottom of this mess and finally be
lovers.
I let things lie for the next few days. Neither Mark nor I tried to get in
touch with each other and, after leaving Tina stranded at football, I didn't
hear from her either. The following Wednesday came around, and Mark and I
turned up to football as normal.
"You alright?" I asked, when we were finally forced to speak to each other.
"Yeah, you?" he said.
"Yeah, great. You seen Lee?"
"No, not yet. Apparently, he got back home this morning."
This was great news. I couldn't wait to go and see him, and talk things
through. I played a great game of football, driven by the fact that I would
be seeing Lee again very soon.
**************************** (Lee narrates)
It was the day after I got home from the hospital, and I was sat in the
front room reading a car magazine. Pretty ironic considering I'd recently
been hit by a car, but that didn't even occur to me. I was feeling almost
completely back to normal by now and, by the doctors' account, I'd had a
lucky escape.
Mum had just brought me some lunch, and was about to go back to work when
the doorbell rang. Moments later, Mark entered the living room.
"I'm gonna be off then," she said. "Now are you sure you're going to be
alright?"
"I'll be fine!" I said, finally tiring of the fuss she was making over me.
There was a fine line between being waited on hand and foot and being
smothered.
"Well, just don't go overdoing it," she said, and then left.
Mark sat down next to me. "How ya feeling?" he asked.
"Alright," I said. I couldn't get the image of him and Dan kissing out of my
mind, and seeing Mark only reminded me of it. I tried to think of an excuse
to ask him to leave.
"Your mum says you had a pretty lucky escape," he said.
"Yeah," I said.
"Well, I'm just glad you're alright."
I looked at him. "Are you?" I said suspiciously.
"Yeah, mate, of course I am!"
He put his hand on my shoulder. I thought this was a bit odd because Mark
and I never usually made much physical contact.
"Lee, there's something I've been meaning to do..." he said quietly, and I
looked at him with a mixture of suspicion and intrigue. What was he up to?
He leant forward and went to kiss me. Just as our lips met, I pushed him
away.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I shouted.
"I just wanted to kiss you," he said quietly.
"Dan not good enough for you?" I said.
"Dan?" he said, surprised. He obviously had no idea that I knew.
"Yeah, I know about you and Dan!" I said. "And what's all this bullshit
you've been feeding him about me screwing around?" I was getting pretty
angry now.
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Mark.
"Don't fucking give me that!" I snapped.
The doorbell rang. Mark and I looked at each other for a few seconds
following this interruption in our conversation, and then I went to answer
the door. Speak of the devil. It was Dan.
**************************** (Dan narrates)
Once I knew that Lee was back at home, I couldn't wait to go and see him. So
the day after football, I went over in my lunch break  the evening was too
far away. As I got there, his mother was just getting into her car to go
out, when she spotted me.
"Hello, Dan," she said with her ubiquitous smile.
"Hi," I said. "Is Lee in?"
"Yeah, he's in there with Mark. You know Mark, don't you?"
"Yeah, I know Mark," I said, in a more meaningful tone than was necessary.
Mark being there would put a damper on things, I thought at first, but then
decided that it would actually be a good opportunity to get a few things
cleared up between the three of us.
"He doesn't talk about it much," said Lee's mother, as she stood against her
open car door. "But I can tell he thinks the world of you."
"Yeah?" I said, now feeling a little awkward to be having this conversation
with Lee's mother.
"You're a nice boy, Dan, and Lee could do a lot worse. I hope the two of you
work things out."
"Thanks," I said.
"See you again," she said, and then finally got into the car.
"Yeah," I smiled at her, and then stood there in thought for a few moments,
watching her drive away. Lee's mother approved of me, and surely that was a
plus point in any relationship. I wondered whether my mother would be so
accepting of my homosexuality. I'd decided in the last few days that I was
going to come out to my parents, and then to the world. But first I had to
make my peace  and more  with Lee, and I walked up to his front door and
rang the bell.
Lee answered shortly, looking surprised to see me. He was dressed in track
suit bottoms and a T-shirt, his hair was messy and unstyled, a bit like
mine, and he had this sexy, just-got-out-of-bed look. I wanted to fuck him
there and then, but instead I just smiled at him politely.
"Alright?" I said, and he opened the door to let me in, then led the way
into the front room. Considering he had just come out of hospital, he looked
fit and healthy; a small plaster above his left eye and a couple of minor
scratches on his face were the only visible evidence of his accident, and I
was pleased he had recovered so fast.
Mark was sat on the couch, and stood up when he saw me.
"Dan," he said, by way of greeting.
"Mark," I replied. We were both quite obviously uncomfortable seeing each
other here.
Lee was the first to speak. "Well, isn't this cosy?" he said. "A little love
triangle. It's like something out of a Hollywood movie, isn't it?"
"Yeah," I said, thinking about how to further the analogy. "And every movie
has a baddie, don't they?"
I directed this comment at Mark, and Lee also turned to face him. Mark
looked from me to Lee, then back to me.
"It's him!" Mark said to me. "Lee's the baddie."
"How d'you figure that one?" I asked.
"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? He lied to you, he's been cheating on you,
and... and d'you know what else? He just tried to come on to me!"
**************************** (Lee narrates)
I looked at Mark, unable to believe what I was hearing. Having just tried to
kiss me, here he was, now trying to convince Dan that it was me who had
tried to come on to him!
"You lying little fuck," I said, advancing on him, but Dan stepped in
between us.
"Is that right?" he said quietly to Mark, now standing inches in front of
him.
"Yeah," said Mark, a little too eagerly.
I watched with a newly rising sickening feeling, now becoming familiar, as
Dan put his hands on Mark's chest and drew his face in to Mark's. Surely he
didn't believe him? And surely he wouldn't kiss him, here, now?
Taken by surprise, Mark smiled at this seemingly good fortune, and opened
his mouth to let Dan in. Dan's lips edged closer to Mark's waiting mouth,
his hands still resting on Mark's chest... but next thing he knew, Dan had
pushed him forcefully back down on to the couch, standing above him with a
look of disgust on his face.
"The truth," said Dan.
I couldn't help but break into smile, as I watched Mark slumped on the
couch, looking scared, as Dan towered above him demanding answers.
"Yeah," I said. "The truth would be good."
"Alright," conceded Mark. "The truth."
He took a deep breath and straightened himself up. The frightened look on
his face disappeared, and he looked more composed as he began his
explanation.
"The truth is that I'm in love with you," he said to Dan. "And all that
stuff about Lee sleeping around, I just said it so you wouldn't carry on
seeing him. I wanted you to myself."
Neither Dan nor I looked surprised at this.
"You must have been happy when I had the accident," I said to Mark. "With me
outta the picture, you had Dan all to yourself. Shame I'm still alive, huh?"
It was an scathing comment to make, and there'd been no need for it, but I
was angry at him and wanted to hurt him.
"That's not true," Mark insisted, looking slightly hurt. "We've been mates
for years and, no matter what, I wouldn't wanna see you dead!"
I almost felt like apologising to him, but I didn't.
"And anyway," said Mark quietly. "Dan was straight down the hospital to see
you when he heard."
I couldn't help but give Dan a weak smile. But Mark quickly pulled Dan's
attention back.
"I'm really sorry, Dan," he said, his voice riddled with guilt. "I know I've
been an idiot."
Dan was still surveying Mark, apparently undecided on whether to accept his
apology or not. But there was something that had been puzzling me.
"How did you know about us?" I asked Mark.
"Yeah, I've been wondering about that," Dan added.
"It was that time at football, when you kept having a go at each other.
That's when I thought there was something weird going on. I didn't know what
it was then, but when we went out for my birthday, and you kept going into
the toilet together, and,"  he looked at me at this point  "and you kept
looking over at him, and you were well fucked off when he got off with that
girl."
Mark paused before continuing.
"And then you had that weird conversation where you kept having a go at each
other and... that's when I started putting two and two together, see. Then
you jumped out of the cab, and I thought you must have gone off to find Dan.
So I jumped out at the next set of lights, to try and find you. Didn't take
me long. There you were, walking down the road together, so I followed you.
Even followed you into the alley, and saw what happened. I saw it all."
Dan looked at me. "See, I told you I heard something. You wouldn't believe
me."
"Yeah," I admitted.
"I couldn't believe it when I saw you kissing," Mark continued. "You were
all over each other. It was fucking horrible, man. And you, sucking him
off," he said to me. He looked like he was about to cry. Up until now, I'd
been feeling nothing but hatred and disgust for Mark, but now I found myself
pitying him. I knew exactly how it felt to see someone you love being so
intimate with somebody else. It was the worst feeling in the world, and I
wouldn't wish it on anybody. Seeing Dan and I together, Mark must have had
exactly those feelings which I had when I'd seen the two of them together.
It didn't excuse his subsequent actions, but it went some way to explaining
them.
Without being prompted, Mark continued. Now that he had started pouring his
heart out, it seemed he wanted to finish.
"Hardly slept that night. Kept thinking about it. Couldn't get that image
out of my head... you two, together... And then I phoned you the next day,"
he said to Dan. "You sounded like you were... busy."
I recalled Mark's phonecall while Dan and I were having sex. I remembered
trying to distract Dan by kissing and fondling him. Little did I know at the
time that Mark knew exactly what we were up to.
"Then I phoned you," Mark said to me. "And you didn't even answer. It was so
fucking obvious what was going on. But I still didn't believe it so I came
round to the house... and sure enough, an hour later, you came out, grinning
like a fucking Cheshire cat."
I had indeed been grinning like a Cheshire cat, I remembered. But who
wouldn't have been after an afternoon of passionate sex?
"It was that night you came round, wasn't it?" Dan asked.
"Yeah," said Mark. "I had to tell you how I felt. For years I've had these
feelings for you, and I never told you 'cos I thought you were straight. And
then I see you with him. How d'you think that made me feel? What d'you think
that did to me? Man, I was jealous, I was so fucking jealous! That should be
me, I kept thinking. It should be me with you, like it has been in my head
all this time. That's why I lied. That's why I told you Lee was screwing
around on you. I didn't know what else to do. I just wanted you to like me,
not him."
Mark breathed a sigh. There was a silence, in which Dan and I contemplated
this latest revelation. Mark had done what he had out of his love for Dan. I
don't know, I might have done the same thing if I'd been in his shoes. My
compassion for Mark was growing with every word he said. I was ready to
forgive him.
"I know I've fucked up, Dan," Mark continued. "And I'm really sorry. But I
only did it 'cos I'm in love with you. I fucking mean it, man, I love you."
"That makes two of us," I said to Dan.
Dan looked at us both with growing confusion. "This is fucking crazy," he
said.
"This is the effect you have on people," I said with a smile. "You're just
so easy to fall in love with."
"I've been in love with you for years," Mark suddenly cut in, like he was
competing against me to prove which one of us loved him more. "Ever since I
first met you."
Mark stood up again, as if to prove he was serious. Dan looked at us both in
turn, almost as if he was trying to decide which one of us to choose.
Suddenly it occurred to me that there was a strong possibility that Dan
would actually choose Mark over me. After all, he had now confessed to
everything he'd done and apologised for it. What if Dan forgave him and told
him he was willing to give it another go? My heart was beating frantically,
as I considered the prospect of losing Dan to Mark. I didn't know what I'd
do if it happened.
"Yeah, you're right," Dan finally said, addressing Mark. "You fucked up big
time. But you said you're sorry, and I believe you."
"It won't ever happen again, I promise ya," said Mark, eager to earn Dan's
forgiveness.
"I can't help the way you feel about me," said Dan. "But the truth is I
don't feel shit for you. You're a mate, and that's it. Nothing's ever gonna
happen between us, I'm tellin' ya that now."
Mark looked at Dan in desperation, as his eyes started glazing over with
tears. But Dan ignored him and turned to face me instead.
"You're the one I want," he said to me. "You're the one I'm in love with. I
know I haven't exactly shown it but things are gonna change now. I'm gay.
And I don't care who knows it."
I had to play the words again in my head before I dared to believe them. Had
Dan really just said the G-word? And had he really just declared his love
for me? I felt his lips press against mine for a tender kiss, and it
answered my question. I felt like all my dreams had just come true. I felt
like all my Christmases had just come at once. I felt like my life was
complete. I felt like I was going to explode with happiness.
Dan turned to face Mark one last time. "Me and Lee are going upstairs to
have sex. You can see yourself out."
Mark didn't answer. He couldn't even speak. He was clearly devastated. He
looked like he couldn't get out of here fast enough, and left without
looking at either of us. I'd go and see him tomorrow and square things with
him. We'd been mates far too long to fall out over this, and I was sure he'd
get over it eventually. Well, he would have no choice. Because Dan and I
were going to be together for a long time.
"So, you gonna take me upstairs or what?" Dan asked with a mischievous grin.
"Take you upstairs?" I said. "No, I'm gonna take you right here."
And with that, we lunged at each other, and started kissing like there was
no tomorrow... and if there was no tomorrow, I would die the happiest man in
the world.
*** THE END ***