Tuesday, July 21, 2009

When did leaving a voicemail become so difficult that I need a play by play from a stupid computer voice to make sure I do it correctly? Isn't it universal that at the sound of the beep, we speak? Why does this woman now inform me of the number I'm calling, and that the person I am trying to reach is unavailable and to press 1 or 2 to leave a voicemail or send a page and then tells me at the sound of the beep I may start recording and THEN has the audacity to tell me that when I'm finished recording, I may hang up or press 1 for more options? Like I don't know to hang up? Has anyone ever pressed 1? What other options could I possibly have? Teleportation?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

We live in a very diverse neighborhood. And for the most part, we all keep to ourselves. I think that's sad. I wish I could break out of my mold and introduce myself to my neighbors, but I'm not a very social person.

Next door, lives a large of family of mexican-americans. We nod as we pass on the street. Their dogs frolick in my front yard, under my crape myrtle tree. But we never really speak. I don't know their names, and they don't know mine.

Tonight, they are having a birthday party. I envy them in a way. At first, I was annoyed because they're so loud, but when I peek over my fence, they're playing hot-potato with a beachball. Adults and children laughing and playing. Just playing, a simple game.

Later, just now, I slipped outside on my deck and peeked through the shrubs, over the fence, and watched for awhile. The kids must be inside, asleep, and there is music...low and peppy. Dancing music. And outside, on the deck, a couple is dancing. So happy. While the other guests are sitting around them, beers in hand, watching.

You can learn so much from just observing. And what I've observed about my neighbors is that they love family.

They don't sit outside and complain about work or life...they dance on the deck.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

This is the new home of Guitar Girl, by the artist, Diahn. She now resides above my wine fridge, in a corner, between lots of windows (guitar girl, not Diahn...she resides in many places). She likes it there with all the light (guitar girl, not Diahn... although she likes the light, too). She shines (guitar girl and Diahn). She was hanging in my bedroom for a long while because she makes me happy, and I wanted to see her first thing every morning. No one saw her, though and she deserves to be seen.

This corner has been beckoning for her company. I have a thing for corners...hmmm....wonder what this says about me?

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On to another topic. The beginning of the summer was a reading frenzy for me. I read Duma Key by Stephen King and enjoyed it thoroughly. It reminded me of his earlier works, like The Stand. It did not remind of IT...that one got a little silly for my taste. A psychotic clown that lives in the sewer that also turns into a giant spider and kills little children? Not my favorite. No sooner had I finished that delicious book, I jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. A lot of my girlfriends were reading it. When my oldest daughter discovered I was reading the series, she said, "I think it's so cute how all the old women are reading these books now!" Yes, she said old women. Killed me.

I loved the series and it kept me occupied for a couple of weeks. Now, alas, I have nothing to read. Well, nothing that grabs me. I'll keep searching though.

In the meantime, I've watched quite a few Indie films. I love them. They're called independent because they're not backed by a major studio but they're also independent and unique in idea. They're almost always unpredictable. The endings are not often wrapped in a nice, tight bow, but the characters are so achingly real. I've watched The Ramen Girl and A Thousand Years of Good Prayers. I highly recommend them.

These two particular films were enriched in the Japanese culture. I learned Ramen is more than a 19 cent package in the grocery store...so much more. I learned that the Japanese are restrained but so incredibly full of respect and awe for tradition. And I use the word tradition only in the sense of values. And that they struggle just like the rest of us with relationships, with what defines success and expressing emotion.

That's what I like about independent films. When I watch them, I feel less alone. And more connected with the world.

Monday, July 13, 2009

There's been a certain lazy, summer quality to my days lately. A specific lack of angst. Sure, there's the little things that get under my skin but, all in all, I think I'm as content now as I've ever been in my life.

I want to stay here. I want to remember it.

It's almost as if I just now stepped into my own skin, and it feels right. As if I've stopped making apologies and explaining myself, like if I say just the right words, I'll be validated. I'll be acceptable.

Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of things I need to change. Only now can I see those things. But I have time...plenty of time.

Now if I can just get rid of these darn hiccups...seriously. They've totally interrupted my thought process but I'm going to post this anyway because it's been too long...