Why Is Nobody Calling?

I Hear You

February 26, 1998|JUNE HALL

Dear June: I haven't talked to my ex-sister-in-law in almost six months. (We still get along in spite of the divorce.) I have no excuses to offer; I've just forgotten to make that occasional phone call. How do I continue our casual relationship without fabricating stories or hurting her feelings? _ Excuseless in Plantation Dear Excuseless: This may be difficult, but I'm going to suggest you try it anyway: Pick up the phone, dial her number and ask her how she is doing. Now, you have to tell her something like this: ``I know I could have called sooner, but I hope my neglect will not interfere with our friendship.'' Take it from there. Before you do this, however, I want you to think about this: Has she attempted to keep in touch with you? A relationship works both ways, you know. So, if she has not been in touch, you need to tell her this when you call.

Dear June: I happen to work at a pharmacy and recognized the name of one of the customers. Well, much to my surprise I discovered my best friend's new boyfriend is taking medication for herpes. Of course, my code of ethics disallows me from disclosing information. I was thinking about joking around with them by saying I need to search the records at work to find out if they are both sick. _ Please Leave Me Anonymous Dear Anonymous: What a compromising position. But you know what? I would not risk my job over it. He may have already told her, but if he has not, neither should you. You could start a serious discussion with them regarding honesty in a relationship and the importance of taking the necessary precautions before becoming involved with someone. Mail her a pamphlet on herpes; she doesn't need to know where or from whom it came. Let him know you realize he came by the pharmacy and you want to know if everything is all right. Hopefully, this will relieve some of your anxieties as well as motivate your friend to become heedful and him to open up.

June Hall appears every Thursday and Saturday. You can send her e-mail (advice(AT)mediaone.net) or write to her c/o P.O. Box 17362, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33318. Please include a daytime phone number for verification.