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Comedic Precedent

Politics. The word doesn’t bring happy thoughts to my mind. When I think politics, I think WMDs, Monica Lewinsky and Iran-Contra. Not exactly the brightest moments in our country’s history. It dawned on me while I was watching the State of the Union address. In a typical address, the current president gives us some optimistic jargon about how strong the country is and how bright the future will be, and then half of the house stands up and applauds him. Of course, that side of the house depends on the president’s political alignment.

It shouldn’t be that way. America needs a president that both parts of the house will applaud. A president that all of America can get behind. A president like...Jon Stewart. Yeah, that’s right. The Jon Stewart, of “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart, one of most popular comedic shows on television. Stewart is veritable comedic genius, and in my opinion he’s the funniest man in America without a drug problem.

But why Jon Stewart, you may ask? Or not ask. I can’t read minds. Back to the important matter at hand: his qualifications.

First off, he’s impossible to dislike. He may come off brash at first, but after a while you’ll wish he was your best friend. The man could settle all of our foreign policy problems in his first term. Iran is developing a nuclear program? Not anymore. Stewart would hammer out a deal with the Faqih in less than two weeks, and as a bonus he’d probably get them to turn over Osama as well.

On a related note, Stewart has proven his debating prowess. His brutal exchange with Tucker Carlson made for the best “Crossfire” episode ever, and when the dust settled Stewart emerged victorious. And Carlson is no slouch when debating. My guess is that bow tie he wears gives him magical powers. But that’s just me.Secondly, the man gives it to you straight. He’d admit he made a mistake (WMDs anyone?), and the citizens of America would know exactly how our nation stands, with no political jargon or sugar-coating. Plus, his State of the Union addresses, and every other speech for that matter, would be absolutely hilarious.Last, and most importantly: he’s funny. That may not seem extremely important, but think about. Studies show that funny people are the most successful people in the political world.

Okay, fine, I made that up. But it’s probably true. A really funny guy like Stewart would be able to make lots of friends in both of the political parties. If he had support from both halves of the political circle, he could make intelligent decisions based on what America needs. He wouldn’t be forced to push through bills just to please his party.

You might have noticed my tone got much more serious in that last paragraph. Regardless of whoever the next president is, I really wish they would put partisan politics aside and make policy based off the needs of the people.

That being said, I am an ardent supporter of the Jon Stewart for president campaign. If you want to join my campaign, e-mail me at you'rekiddingright@hotmail.com. Maybe we can get something started. That concludes our lecture for today. Your assignment is Ch. 1-3 in “America: the Book” by the Daily Show writers. Until next time, remember this: a society is a only as stupid as the man who runs it.