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I remember when I was diagnosed and a Doctor friend of mine said, 'if your working, make sure you get a job that's not stressful and the hrs are only 10.30am - 4pm'. I remember thinking why? Why can't i work full time and achieve my aspirations. So now I run 2 businesses and it's very much full time.

I just wanted to know what you thought - is this too much, or should we aim for the stars? Look at Majic Johnson - he's a massively successful entrepreneur and works extremely hard and late hours.

I study and work part time at the moment. Up and running at 09 most days and then in bed at around 23. I work out 5 days a week as well. Used to be a real workoholic before, never any vacation and also lots of OT. I hope when I graduate to work at least 5 days a week, office hours and also be able to keep up the workout routine. With my current energy levels I dont think it will be a problem. Work helps me to keep my mind of things so mentally I thinks its better for me.

I know several HIV+ people who have high-stress jobs and work long hours (I personally am not one of them). They handle the stress and long hours in exactly the same way as an HIV negative person would.

I run an international business and have 30 people in a developping country, the operation is new so needs a lot of organization and supervision work and I´m also studying, very few holidays, working for 8 AM to 7-9PM... My doc does tell me to reduce stress now!!! I´m have no problem with stress and think I deal well with it, the business has run really great ; anyway I´m about to stop some months to travel and will move to Canada this year for -I hope- a cooler life...

I run a good size business. I have good employees that help as they did before dx.Never even occurred to me to step down. Still go to gym 6 days a week. Still get shit faced on sat nights.Never thought of changing any of this. Though I do feel that I don't sweat the little bull shit at work as much and I feel I'm not as living for biz as I did before dx.

I'm about to graduate from my university in a month, I practically lost without a job or purpose. Without a career, the stress and anxiety of not have anything to do and no purpose in life, scared me the most. I hope I will get a job soon, any job!

Currently I work for a large college - scheduled hours are 8 am -4:30 pm (5 days a week) - but I am salary and with various projects (all on deadlines), I usually work 6 days a week (approx. 54 hrs per).... Although, last year a major project had me going for close to 70 hours a week for 70 days straight....

I am also in graduate school - so that takes about another 20-25 hours per week of studying and doing assignments.

Typical day begins at 5:30 a.m. and ends around 11:00 p.m. (in addition to doing some regular work and school work, I also use the weekends to catch up on laundry, grocery shopping, errands, ironing shirts for work week, cleaning house, etc). I have also started back up on doing my family's geneology (which take a bit of time to research)... back to the year 1500 right now.

I tend to do better when I am busy - and when I overdo it, my body is VERY quick to let me know. I manage to get out for few Coronas (usually in between activities or on Friday evenings- which is the night I try to give myself to relax a bit).

** The above is probably why I a) look forward to Friday evenings and b) why I am looking forward to my vacation to London in April.

Currently I work for a large college - scheduled hours are 8 am -4:30 pm (5 days a week) - but I am salary and with various projects (all on deadlines), I usually work 6 days a week (approx. 54 hrs per).... Although, last year a major project had me going for close to 70 hours a week for 70 days straight....

I am also in graduate school - so that takes about another 20-25 hours per week of studying and doing assignments.

Typical day begins at 5:30 a.m. and ends around 11:00 p.m. (in addition to doing some regular work and school work, I also use the weekends to catch up on laundry, grocery shopping, errands, ironing shirts for work week, cleaning house, etc). I have also started back up on doing my family's geneology (which take a bit of time to research)... back to the year 1500 right now.

I tend to do better when I am busy - and when I overdo it, my body is VERY quick to let me know. I manage to get out for few Coronas (usually in between activities or on Friday evenings- which is the night I try to give myself to relax a bit).

** The above is probably why I a) look forward to Friday evenings and b) why I am looking forward to my vacation to London in April.

I know... I know... that is what I am doing right now... slacking... But, I had meetings all morning off campus and have been working on budgets, logic models, and evaluation plans for multiple projects --- and I just had a Subway sub (so, I am having the afternoon slumps) - ready for this work day to be over.... I can almost taste the Coronas... (they are a calling 'Phil, Phil... come to us... come to us...')

I am in between permanent jobs now and freelancing. My last job had several adult babies (with me sometimes in the role of the male nanny). This brought negative stress that started to adversely impact my health and quality of life. I discussed it with my doctor who very thoughtful and supportive.

Positive or productive stress, in my view, is good. I have always worked hard and love that feeling after putting in a good day.

I look forward to moving to my next permanent job on a more focused career path.

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"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

I'm in school part-time this semester, only taking STUPID ALGEBRA, and english.Work part time in the retail secitions of a travel center, and looking for a second p/t job, or one f/t job. I also have a f/t job of having a boyfriend and playing debbie domestic.

My doctor tells me he's not sure how I do my schedule, but as long as I know when to slow down, he doesn't complain to much to me about it.

Michelle

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How to handle stress like a dog:If you can't eat it or play with it.....then pee on it and walk away

Some great replies to this post. I wanted to create this discussion with the intention of helping others that may not be fullfilling their dreams/goals or sitting on life's 'sidelines' because they incorrectly believe being HIV positive should hold you back in life. Sure your ambitions and goals my change, but a diagnosis should not change your plans in life. Whether you work as a garbage man, a librarian, a charity or run a global multi national company, it doesn't matter. What matters is participating in life. Work is the greatest elixir in life. It gives you focus and purpose. Man needs purpose and we are born to create, work and use our minds. Like I said it doesn't matter whether your working unpaid or for even if you may be currently unemployed but just as long as you don't use your HIV as an excuse not to move forward and be involved.

I am fully aware some are unfortunate enough not to be able to work due to illness and disability. That's the same in every disease from diabetes, heart disease and even asthma. But life is for participation and to those fortunate enough to have the health to work, get out there and follow your dreams. In essence that's one way of conquering this disease. Your guys (and gals) have shown in this post that anything is possible.

Look at me. I was suicidal 7 yrs ago after my diagnosis. My life fell apart and I quit work and quit life. I dropped out. I went from a happy young man of 28 to a wreck overnight. Now I'm married, have 3 children and run 2 companies. I am truly blessed. Sure this disease is shit. But truth is I suffer more from my insomnia (4 hrs sleep a night) and my Ulcerative Colitis than I do from my HIV on a daily basis. It's a nasty disease but for the first time in my life I truly believe that if I can stick around for another 15-20 yrs, we're going to be looking at some very different treatment options than the present. I never used to have this hope, but within that time frame I believe it's now possible.

So live for the future and go out and get what's yours. You deserve it and you CAN do it. No one is stopping you except you.

bump... this is a good thread! when I first was diagnosed I thought I would be moving back in with my parents and living some tragic life. this kinda stuff shows people they can still do anything. more people need to comment! I am a pilot for a major airline which had always been my dream job, I also run, bike, and play tennis more than most people I know.

It has been hard out there for sure the past few years. I had to take on two jobs after the recession to support myself, but on the plus side, I was able to get a great apartment downtown where I live and be closer to my friends, the park, and the restaurants! Many of my friends have had to take on another job as well, because the economy lagged so much. I have a degree in communications but lost my job in the recession due to cutbacks and so after searching I finally bit the bullet and took an entry level part-time job at a nursing home, working as a nurse's assistant. The pay wasn't too bad, and it was something I didn't hate doing. I also was working full-time as a customer service rep, and made enough to pay my bills. I am now only working the full-time job because I am trying to pace myself more. I feel lucky because I am healthy and able to work. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I just try and realize that although my life isn't yet what I want it to be, I am fortunate compared to many.

I don't have too much free time during the week but I always find time to run, which is my favorite thing to do, or go hangout with my friends at the wilderness reserve where there are a ton of scenic paths, just a few minutes from town. I also love to go out to eat but not as much anymore due to expenses, but I am the type that I have to stay active most of the time! I am hoping as the economy improves, more, better jobs will come and I cam get a job in my field that I went to school for!

I spent most of my adult life at university. About two years ago I decided to start my own thing and became self employed. The money could be better but I love my job and I love being my own boss. My diagnosis hasn't affected my work situation the slightest bit and I am quite happy not to have colleagues or a boss and worry about them finding out about my status.

Several times per week, I take the Trolley from Jane Warner Plaza to Civic Center and on to Union Square where I get a latte and some flowers from the vendors. I may stop by Tiffanys looking for a sterling silver phone dialer but I have to do it as Katherine Hepburn instead of Audrey because I can't mimic her timeless beauty. I then walk over to the Victorius Secret store hoping to find wings on sale and the clerks always call out, "Sorry Michael"

Yes Ward is the man of the house and makes all decisions. I flounce around in a summer dress, a frilly white apron and high heels. You can call me Mrs. Cleaver. We have two children, litter mate Pugs. We call the boy puppy Beaver and the girl puppy Wally

I'm a case manager for an Aids service organization. People complain about case managers, and I know there are some that aren't worth their weight, but it is a tough job, trying to manage everyone's care, make sure people can see a doctor, going to client's court appearances, and well, there still is the possibility of death. One of my clients died a little over a year ago and it was tough. Plus putting up with angry clients that want to know why you didn't take care of everything, like yesterday.

I'm also in graduate school and hope to finish. When I'm done I may look at a different career path.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hey, BT, sorry about your client. Even if it was a year ago, that has to be rough. Thanks for doing the work you do.

Lately I've been wishing I could work for an ASO in some capacity. All of my experience except my freelance work has been in education and nonprofits, but I have a feeling the organizations prefer that people who've needed assistance don't try to work there later. Do you know if that's true at all?

I have an MA, but not an MSW, unfortunately. If I could go back, I would definitely have done an MPH or MSW program instead. Those are in such demand and have been as long as I can remember.

I have served as my own case manager for years but there would be a person if I called and needed one. When I was case managed, it was in a small town. I think there was 60 clients and I liked my case manager. She would come to our houses once each month, the first question out of her mouth was always about whether or not, we felt suicidal.

One day, she quit and went back FT at a local medical center because... She moved a client into her home as her lover. He wasn't there very long. She came home from work at the hospital and found him hanging from her bedroom doorknob. He hanged himself with a shoelace.

I had another Case Manager once, he was in L.A., an RN and was very good at his job. He told me once, he quit Case Management because he was going to peoples homes to ask about the color and consistency of their shit and the ASO had terminated a thrift store give away program and he had nothing to give us, so he went to work for the State of California at Camarillo State Hospital. A patient there had been convicted of murder of his pregnant wife on Christmas. My former Case Manager had a crush on more than one mass murderer and wanted to work where that patient was sentenced. I have been pretty good at being my own case manager. Take CareMichael

All of my experience except my freelance work has been in education and nonprofits, but I have a feeling the organizations prefer that people who've needed assistance don't try to work there later. Do you know if that's true at all?

I was actually a client at the ASO I work at. I'm guessing it depends on the ASO and their policies. Like I had to not be a client for a year before they could hire me. When I was a client I only used them once-to have my case manager drive me to an ophthalmologist appointment, because I had to have my eyes dilated, therefore didn't believe I could drive.

But anyway, what area of concentration is your MA in? My boss has an MPH, and there are two other people who work at the ASO I do who have their master's. One is an MSW and she's a case manager, and one has her MBA and is in charge of testing/prevention.

The one with the MSW could, I'm sure, find a higher paying job at some point. But it seems in those related fields, you have to know someone to get a foot in the door.

And Michael, it's interesting, people who have fascinations with serial and mass murderers. I remember reading about the case of Richard Ramirez, the "night stalker," where a lady who was on the jury, who found him guilty, moved closer to the prison he was sent to. Those are interesting characters.

By the way, I would never, ever, consider getting romantically involved with a client. I do have ethical boundaries.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Great thread...agreed it shows that HIV+ people can continue a life and career no different than anyone else. I feel incredibly lucky having been diagnosed 5 years ago with what looks like it had been a recent infection. Atripla once a day, no side effects and healthier than most people my age.

Luckily my diagnosis has been but a blip in my life. I haven't had to change much at all except staying fit and adhering to a very easy regimen of meds and routine doc visits.

That being said, I'm an architect and facility manager for a very large school district. I also volunteer in many a historic preservation endeavors and give architectural tours evenings and weekends.

Pragmatically the most important thing is the great health insurance my job provides eliminating any stress acquiring the best health care .

But anyway, what area of concentration is your MA in? My boss has an MPH, and there are two other people who work at the ASO I do who have their master's. One is an MSW and she's a case manager, and one has her MBA and is in charge of testing/prevention.

Pretty much the most useless thing you could imagine... Slavic linguistics. Even if I were still in the field, I can't go to Russia anymore. What a larf.

Technically, I guess I haven't been a client at any ASO unless you count GMHC, and I wouldn't want to work there anyway. 1) Too competitive probably. 2) I know too many people who are tangentially connected. Awkwardness would ensue.

Funny I wasn't working when I got diagnosed (I was so tired back then in '04 because my viral load was so high). But I went back to school in my 40s got my degree and now have a Mon-Fri job that I really like. It is stressful but I feel that when I wasn't working I was obsessed with my HIV status thinking about it all the time. I needed this job for my financial and mental well being. A time may come when I don't feel like or am unable to keep up. In the meantime I'm kicking ass!

I work with kids. Recently set up my own childcare business which is thriving. Annoyingly having my contract for my second job cut at Easter - I hate to say it but my diagnosis really messed this up for me despite me trying my hardest. The emotional turmoil definitely had an effect on how I was at work and the impact I was trying to make to justify my role. So now I've got money worries on top of everything else, I'll cope though, I always do.

Funny I wasn't working when I got diagnosed (I was so tired back then in '04 because my viral load was so high). But I went back to school in my 40s got my degree and now have a Mon-Fri job that I really like. It is stressful but I feel that when I wasn't working I was obsessed with my HIV status thinking about it all the time. I needed this job for my financial and mental well being. A time may come when I don't feel like or am unable to keep up. In the meantime I'm kicking ass!

Ya know, while it seems melodramatic to think you can't work and live pretty much normally when you have your HIV under control, there is some truth in what the doctor said. Studies do in fact show that stress kills! Not hard work, but on going stress takes a toll on your health and your life expectancy- even if you were not HIV+.

Changed jobs last year and the reduction in stress has be transformative. I sleep more easily now, feel much better and I find it easier to deal with other life issues. (Not to mention that my partner says I'm much less of a pain in the @ss)

So consider finding ways to reduce stress, but don't short change yourself by thinking you can't meet the challenges of a career just because you are HIV+.

I'm in middle-management in health care. Up 05.30 everyday and after that doing the mummy thing (my second full-time job!). Bed at 9 every night I am so exhausted. But I'm tired because I drink too much, eat crap and don't exercise ;-) nothing else...

Been working steadily since infected with HIV, although it has slowed me down. The meds interfere with my sleep and I have to deal with that. At my age (56), I just acquiesced to the fact that work has to take highest priority if I'm going to be able to keep up. That means no time off (no vacations) and lots of weekend work in order to to space all the hours out. I'm a programmer, chained to a desk all day staring at a monitor, and really can't do much more than 12 hours/day. Sigh... so yet another weekend lost to work this Sat and Sun.

Personally, I would trade retirement any day for work. I want to retire ASAP. I hate being a 8:30 - 7+ slave, racing to try to fit a life within the few spare moments left after work. The "Queen of Versailles" stated how she got the H out of computer programming when her first boss was elaborating on his count-down program to retirement. She asked why he would even write such a thing and he said the day the clock runs out is the day his life begins. Needless to say, she quickly mapped out anothe path for her life. For those that have managed a way to survive without working, kudos to you.

I'm a physician and work 80+ hours/week and when I cover call, I'm up for a 25-30 hour stretch. I have noticed that my "stamina" isn't quite what it was before diagnosis, but I definitely felt better after starting meds. The fact is, folks, we are NO different than anyone else. We just have to be more diligent about our health. All of us that have responded on this page are leaders, and I'm convinced that by showing the world we are bright, successful, loving people, we will be one step further in overcoming the stigma of HIV. We can do this!!

Good post here... Since I have been diagnosed I have been going through this anti-climatic thought process of 'what now'. And so far nothing has really changed.

I manage and run a medium sized private company. I work long hours and travel 50% of the time. The job is stressful but not as stressful as going through a divorce and raising three kids.

I have wondered lately about giving up the big salary and perks to either start my own gig or do something to benefit others in my situation. That said, I need to get through divorce and see how the finances shake out.

On a side note, I did have my cd4 count drop from 502 to 250 in the past two months. I am scared because I am still newly diagnosed and I am pausing on my dreams because of the fear. Hopefully I was just under the weather when I got tested. I will find out soon because I got retested yesterday.

Sales manager for a large corporation with a sales team located all over the US. I generally work about 70 hours a week and travel over 150k miles per year. Last thing on my mind is HIV (other than the nightly Atripla.) In fact, dealing with the setback and the diagnosis 7 years ago has motivated me to work harder and achieve more. I don't take my success for granted, and I do respect anyone who makes another choice, but I strongly believe you can put yourself in a situation where you can be very successful despite HIV.

Its great to see us keeping busy.. I think my Dad instilled a unorthodoxed work ethic within his kids. We all work hard. I work about 90 hours per week as an Accountant at one job and and Loss Prevention EMT at another. The rest of the time its on the slopes or hiking,biking rafting or my favorate is seeing how many times I can get to Moab for Jeeping... HIV has not slowed me down, but the loss of friends because of either addiction or not paying attention to their health has caused me to deal with that. Which I do not do well with. I always ask why... I still remain single after William's death basically due to denial of addiction and then not taking his hiv seriously enough to run away and think that positive energy was going to save him. His geographic failed him. So, I plug along single hopeing one day I may feel up to trying out a relationship again. Thats what I miss the most. I talk with my Mom who lost my father last May. She says, "what do I have to live for at 83 years old without my husband? Well Mom, I ask the same thing at 48 without Mine. I hope between both of us, we can find that answer. I enjoy my time alone for a very short period of time... I understand my Mom..

It's my first year in grad school- getting my masters in physics- and I'm a teaching assistant as well. I used to wait tables on top of that but it got to be too much. My program started four weeks before I got diagnosed, so let's just say my first semester didn't go so well. This semester has been a lot better, just a few more weeks left!

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." -A. Einstein

I work full time as a design director at a clothing company. This industry is always stressful, competitive, demanding, political, cut throat and puts way too much pressure. I used to work on weekends and even on holidays in order to meet deadlines. I do it because I love what I do and I'm passionate about my work. 9-5 is not in my world.

I learned to deal with stress. I learned to focus on the positives, not on the negatives. Get it?

HIV has not been able to stop me from doing what I love to do. That's how I see it.