Don’t get any ideas, I am still on hiatus. But I was posting this video to Facebook and my comment got a bit long, so I moved it over here. First, the video: (Watch it, it is so worth it.) From a Swedish children’s program, aimed at 3 to 6 year olds. You don’t need to understand the language to get the message.

Of course, this could never air in the United States, since by the age of three American children know that the bits under their underwear are naughty, sinful, nasty things that definitely do not sing and dance to catchy tunes, unless that is Satan’s current plan to get kids to look at or touch said bits. By six years of age, US kids should understand that those bits are only to be used by married people, and even then only for procreation, in one position, with neither participant receiving any joy or pleasure from the nasty, dirty, sinful, evil, horrific, monstrous, bad, naughty act.

Of course, they will soon become teenagers and ignore those teachings, deciding instead to imitate what bunny rabbits do when they think no one is watching their cute little floppy ears. But never fear, thanks to abstinence only education, American teens won’t know what they are doing or how to use contraceptives, so not only will it be a sub par experience, but there is a good chance they will be punished for their sin with a baby. (Silly me. I meant to say that it would be a sub par experience for the girl, and she would be punished with a baby. Because the boy doesn’t need to know what he is doing to enjoy the act, and its not like he can get pregnant.) And isn’t that preferable to the Swedish method where kids are given knowledge?

You know the United States is going to kick some Swedish ass on this one. We have abstinence only education and they have…..hell, they probably have sex parties instead of gym class. Anyway, survey says.…..

United States: 22%

Sweden: 4%

Wait…..that can’t be right. I know, Swedish taxes are so high that sperm can’t afford to fertilize the eggs. That has to be it. I’m sure we’ll get the next question.

Round 2: % of women who reported no contraceptive use at recent intercourse.

Dude, we got this on lock down. We have abstinence only education in the states, our teens don’t know what contraceptives are, and if they do we’ve taught them that they don’t work, so why bother using them, am I right? Survey says……

United States: 20%

Sweden: 7%

Booo-ya! I told you we would destroy those socialist skiers. Handed them their asses by 13 percentage poi..What’s that? We want people to use contraceptives? So the lower number is better? Are you sure about that? That doesn’t sound…You are sure. Positive? Positive. Okay……

Alright, it seems that Sweden wiped the floor with us again. But so what? That’s Sweden. They kick everyone’s ass at everything, as long as tanks aren’t involved. We probably destroy other nations. Like the “pregnant before 20” question. Sweden is probably an outlier. Let’s look at the numbers of a few other places:

Great Britain: 15%

Canada: 11%

France: 6%

Oh, what the flying fuck. Ya know what? Teenage pregnancy is a good thing, there, we fucking win.

What about the other question? I bet the Brits refuse to use condoms, just like us Merikkkans.

France: 12%

Great Britain: 4%

Ummm.

Look! Obama’s trying to take your guns!

Those who miss my writing and want to see what I am up to while this blog is on hiatus are welcome to come to my Tumblr, With a Trebuchet, to read me writing about A Song of Ice and Fire and the HBO show, Game of Thrones. If you do stop by, please leave the politics and social issues here. Thanks, and I will be back once I unburn myself out. I won’t give a time frame other than this: I will definitely be back to cover the presidential election campaigns. So even if this turns into a long break, I will be back before the first primary vote is cast.

About the Author

Described as "intelligent but self-destructive," Foster Disbelief spent his twenties furiously attempting to waste his potential in a haze of religion and heroin. Science and atheism allowed him to escape his twin addictions and he now spends his days attempting to make the most of his three remaining brain cells.