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On kindness

George Saunders gave the graduation speech at Syracuse University this year, and the New York Times recently published it. Have you read it? His advice centers around being kind and, more specifically, avoiding "failures of kindness." Here are his words...

Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?” And they’ll tell you....

Here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.

Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?

Those who were kindest to you, I bet.

It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.

When I've gone through bad times I'm always surprised by the kindness in people who you least expected to reach out, those are the moments I remember most and they are the people who have made me want to be kind to others when I'm asking myself would they think it would be weird if I reached out to them. You just have to remember even if you aren't super close to someone kindness is always appreciated!!

Yesterday I wrote a post about this exact thing because I had a "failure in kindness" and it haunted me for almost two weeks. Actually, it still does. I think the salve on that wound were all the kind comments left on the post...lovely readers reminding me that we always, always, always have the opportunity to redo something. Here's the post in case anyone would like to read it: http://www.mondaysnugget.com/2013/08/do-you-give-money-to-homeless-people.htmlThank you for the lovely reminder!!

And I just want to complement you on how you have seamlessly brought a new life into the world and your blog has only gotten better! I'm sure behind the scenes things get a little hairy at times but even knowing that it's still impressive and amazing! I know we can't have it all, but moms somehow can do it all! Congrats again and thank you letting us be a part of it all! <3 Lots of love for you and your sweet family!

I have come to value kindness and consideration more and more as I've gotten older. My boyfriend is one of the most truly kind people I've ever met and he is my daily reminder to stay calm and kind above all else.

There is a whole bunch of wonderful truth in this. What a lovely speech. Thinking back to the days I used to work with children- especially with those whose parents used to spend all kinds of money on the "right" school and extracurricular activities to make them smarter or more well-rounded or more worldly or whathaveyou- I always used to tell them to focus on encouraging kindness in them above all else. I got eye rolls and ,"Oh, Cath, you're so naive in this world" but I stand by it. Always be kind. We surround ourselves with love that way and why the hell not? Our lives are that much richer and more fulfilling for having kindness in it. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful sentiment on what truly matters. I believe in it, too.

I feel like the kindness level has gone way down (especially in my own city) in recent years. I feel like people have trouble being kind because they feel like the world has not been kind to them... money troubles, family troubles, foreclosures, unemployment, the list goes on and on. I think as a people we feel like our own needs haven't been met which makes it hard for us to meet others' needs. We think, "Who has the time or energy?" I find it sad how you pass people on the street and they look away and pretend you're not there. I just want to wave and say "Hi, how are you doing?" but it seems that this is no longer the social norm and I get weird looks back. Sad but true! We must work on changing this as a whole!

Thank you for this. People underestimate the power of kindness. It takes such courage to be kind, not only because it's very unselfish, but also because not everyone is receptive to it and might even consider it pity. But I think kindness makes the world go round. :)rajidesigns.wordpress.com

Thanks so much for sharing this! I've recently gone through a very trying period in my life, both physically and emotionally, and just this morning asked myself how I can grow from the experience. The quote: "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" came to my mind as a motto. George Saunders's speech is great reminder of the power of kindness and love - so timely and inspirational!

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