time passes by, let the memory lives forever

Monthly Archives: January 2010

As I flip through CNN channels and watch different documentaries, I can’t help but cringe and become mortified by the sights of Muslim women in Afghanistan and other areas of the Middle East who are either sprawled on the floor begging for food and money, abused by their husbands, uneducated, illiterate, oppressed, and subjected to humiliation and degradation. Islam, of course, is then blamed for all of this. The widespread misconception in the West is that women have no rights in Islam and are nothing but mere objects. Sadly, there is lack of awareness within some Muslim communities, as well.

Many Muslims themselves, men and women, are still bound by the confines of traditions, rather than Islamic values. This is evident in countries in which women aren’t allowed to receive an education, drive, work or voice their opinions. It is in these countries that traditional practices, instead of Islamic principles, continue to represent the model behavior. This is abhorrent and can impose a heavy burden on women. It also, unfortunately, only perpetuates the inaccurate stereotypes and misconceptions. Thus, it is urgent to differentiate between traditional cultural practices and the religion of Islam. What many people, even some Muslims, are unaware of is the considerable number of rights Islam has awarded women. It also may astonish people to learn that 14 centuries ago, Islam granted women all the rights that the West has only recently acknowledged. In order to thoroughly understand these teachings of Islam regarding women, one must turn to the words of God and the Muslim holy book, the Quran, which highly stresses the principle of equality between men and women. God emphasizes that the only criterion for judging people is not their gender, race or color, but rather, only piety. He states: “O mankind! We have created you from a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has piety” (49:13). There are numerous other Quranic verses proving that Islam treats males and females on the basis of equality regarding their religious duties, responsibilities and reward, such as: “If any do deeds of righteousness, be they male or female, and have faith, they will enter Heaven, and not the least injustice will be done to them” (4:124). In regards to specific rights for women mentioned in the Quran, I cannot even come close to covering them all in one article. However, there are some grave misconceptions that have always disturbed me, so I feel the immediate urge to cover those particular ones.

One common misconception is that Muslim women have no rights when it comes to marriage. In Islam, a Muslim woman has the full right to choose her husband. There is no such thing as an “arranged marriage” — her approval of the marriage and of the groom is a must. Her free, unforced consent, as a matter of fact, is an essential condition for the validity of the marriage contract. Moreover, marriage in Islam is not the sale of a bride to her husband. On the contrary, in Islam, the bride is dignified and it is the groom who must present her with a dowry, as a sign of respect toward her. The payment of the dowry by the husband is an admission of his wife’s independence, for she becomes the owner of it immediately upon her marriage and retains this marriage gift even if she later becomes divorced.

Furthermore, contrary to common misconceptions, women in Islam are accorded full rights to knowledge and education just as men are. It is actually incumbent upon all Muslims, male and female, to seek knowledge. One of the aims of acquiring this knowledge is to be more God-conscious and to increase the welfare of the community. Islam honors women and thus, they are encouraged to become educated in order to help them develop their character. Education is also significant because it helps women become more capable and efficient mothers who will accordingly be able to play their roles in raising strong, well-educated generations to come.

Islam additionally encourages women to pursue their own careers, if they so choose, as long as the woman’s integrity is safeguarded and she fulfills her primary obligations toward her husband and children (if married). Islam further dignifies a woman by arranging for her to be maintained always and financially supported by her closest male guardian (father, brother, husband, etc). So, going out to work is a choice and not an obligation, as the man is the financial head of the household. This specifically means the man is responsible before God for the welfare and protection of his family. Therefore, even if the woman does work, her right to her own money, real estate or other properties is fully acknowledged. As women, we have total economic independence and have the right to own, buy or sell property, and invest or donate our money without our husband’s approval or permission.

Lastly, Islam gives women many more rights, which are covered in the Quran. I truly feel honored, proud, and fortunate to be a Muslim woman and have the blessing of Islam in my life. I implore Muslims and non-Muslims alike to turn to the primary sources of Islam to learn the truth about the roles, duties and rights of women in Islam. Only then, will the ill-founded misconceptions, stereotypes and practices dissipate.

Marwa Elkelani, who has her Master’s Degree in TESL/Linguistics from Oklahoma State University and teaches at the Intensive English Institute at the University of Maine, resides in Brewer with her husband and three young children.

found out this article. pretty interesting facts about muslim womens and misconceptions publicized by the media. what we see today is mostly an act of culture and heritage. i believe that if we follow the true path of Islam, this shouldn’t be a question. everyone would have lived in peace. article from Bangor Daily News.

A Jordanian bomber who killed seven CIA agents in Afghanistan has said that the attack was in revenge to the killing of Pakistani Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud. “We tell our emir Baitullah Mehsud we will never forget his blood,” Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi said in a video tape aired by Al-Jazeera television Saturday, January 9. “It is up to us to avenge him in and outside America,” he said, referring to Mehsud, who was killed in a US drone attack in August. Balawi blew himself up at a US military base in Khost, near the Pakistani border on December 30, killing seven CIA agents and his Jordanian handler, a top intelligence officer and member of the royal family.

In the video, the bearded Balawi is shown holding a weapon and sitting alongside leader of the umbrella Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan Hakimullah Mehsud. The Jordanian bomber was also shown in the video training at a shooting range. “We will never forget that he (Mehsud) said Sheikh Osama bin Laden was not on our soil (Pakistan) but that if he should come we would protect him,” said Balawi, who acted as double agent duping Western intelligence services for months. “He kept his promise and paid for it with his life.”

On Thursday, alleged Al-Qaeda leader in Afghanistan Mustafa Abu al-Yazid said the Jordanian bomber left a will saying the attack was revenge for “our righteous martyrs”. Yazid described Balawi’s mission as an “epic breakthrough” in prating both American and Jordanian intelligence, said online websites. The will named a number of militants, including Mehsud, Abu Saleh al-Somali, described as part of Al-Qaeda’s core leadership and responsible for plotting attacks in Europe and the US. He was killed in a drone strike near the Afghan border last month.

Retaliation

Balawi, a former doctor, said that he shared US and Jordanian state and intelligence secrets with the Taliban.”This is a message to the enemies of the (Muslim) nation — the CIA and Jordanian intelligence services,” he said. “To retaliate for his death in the United States and outside the United States will remain an obligation on all emigrants who were harboured by Baitullah Mehsud.”

The video came a day after Jordanian Foreign Minister Nasser Judeh acknowledged that Jordan had a counter-terrorism role in Afghanistan and planned to enhance operations there. “Our presence in Afghanistan today is twofold,” Judeh told reporters during a press briefing with US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “Number one, to combat terrorism and the root causes of terrorism, but also to help out in the humanitarian effort that is needed there. “We are not only part of awork of countries that are trying to assist Afghanistan and Afghanis, but also trying to combat terror and terrorism,” Judeh said.

Analysts believe that the appearance of Taliban leader Hakimullah Mehsud in the video shows how close the Pakistani Taliban and Al-Qaeda are now. “I think this man basically belongs to Al-Qaeda, Mehmood Shah, former security chief of Pakistani tribal areas told Reuters. His appearance with Hakimullah Mehsud in a video shows how Al-Qaeda and the Taliban are closely linked.”

There isn’t really an actual age that’s best to get married at. Everyone and every relationship is different and special. But maybe this can help you finalize your decision.

Steps

Make sure he/she is the one. You should know that, even through the worst of times, your mate will be there for you, and that you can grow together. If there is a lack of trust, reconsider.pretty confident she’s the one. but am i the one for her?

Think about school, and if getting married too early might affect your educational opportunities. It may be a smarter decision to finish school first. The truth is, as a new family you will need money in order to survive. Education is the best tool to build the financial foundation for your marriage and a healthy lifestyle.err school?

Think about where you will go, or where your mate will go if you get married. Are you ready to move in with him or her?im ready for this.

Do a cost-benefit analysis of the situation. Will waiting to get married be more financially savvy? Will getting married now help taxes?seems like not the best thing at this point of time but would be ok for a moderate lifestyle

Make it a point to discuss financial issues with your partner. It is important for a sold union to know what to expect from the other.hmm.. the difficult part is here. but so far seems ok. she’s a bit tight on budget and im a bit loose. haha.. perhaps this is good for each other..

Have you developed a budget that has been reality-tested? You should be in a position to demonstrate your ability to live independently before you think that’s it time to get married. It’s even better to have lived independently (as individuals) before thinking of getting married.not a problem for me..

Getting married should be a matter of making life commitments – not a means of making ends meet (you can do that with roommates …).hmm life commitments. does this mean im grounded for the rest of my life? i don’t think so. she seems understanding enough about me going out with friends.. maybe she can join me more often?

If you have a budget together and it’s been vetted for reasonableness, have you then considered what that budget might look like if you add a newborn baby (or two) to the mix? You know the old saying: “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage” … Not to make light of this – these are serious issues and have life-lasting consequences – everyone needs to consider them thoroughly.a baby now? huhu.. won’t be enough for three. maybe in a year or two it would be different. but babies will take at least nine months before i need to be financially ready. should be enough i think..

How do you feel about your partner’s family? Will they be very involved in your joint lives? How does your family feel about your partner? Consider how much you value the opinions of your family and assess the situation.her family suits me well so far. not sure on my side. my family is a lil tiny bit harder to adapt to this.. it’ll take some time. but she’ll be fine i guess..

Can you talk to your partner about private issues easily? If not, then you might not be at the right stage in your life and/or your relationship.me? been talking on all issues. not a problem on my side but sometimes her acceptance bothers me. at times she took it too seriously. but that’s what womens do. i’ll adapt to that soon..

Most of all, just know in your heart and your gut that you are honestly happy and this person accepts you for who you are and vice versa. Money shouldn’t be the reason if you guys aren’t as lucky as others build up together. That’s real love. It’s about being supportive for each other.i know im happy with her. i know im supportive of what she did and vice versa. is she happy with me? well u have to ask her that..

Tips

Be sure to look at every angle of the situation before you decide. This is a life changing decision. It is important that you and your partner have similar and hopefully joint goals for the future.

Think about what you want for yourself in the future and if your mate genuinely shares that vision of the future with you.

Pre-marital counseling is a really good idea as it helps you to work through all these issues in a logical and thorough way – yeah, it takes some time and dedication, but isn’t making sure your marriage has the best chance of survival worth that sacrifice? Aren’t the children you may have deserving of the best chance you can give them of having an intact and happy family that’s prepared for what life can throw at them?

Remember: Marriage is not always ‘a walk in the park.’ It takes serious work and effort from both partners. The honeymoon does not last forever!

When you get married, try to share responsibilities. It’ll make life a lot easier.

Warnings

Be sure you’re getting married for the right reasons.

If the time is not yet right, wait!

Never rush into marriage. If you love each other, waiting until the time IS right can only make you better prepared for anything that may come your way.

Never marry someone because you think it may change them!

haha i pasted this.. had a discussion with her earlier. im ready for this. hope she is. just one more step and things will start to roll. article from WikiHow.

i’ve been wanting to do this for quite sometime. in this category, all related to my work will be posted here. information ranges from technical explanations, things i’ve learned and need further study, problems encountered, management issues and even emotions involved.

out of 24 hours a day, at least 8 hours is spent here. that’s at least a quarter of my life around this environment. i’d like to keep the knowledge and memories in a safe place so that one day when i read back, i know i did something when i was young.

so here goes the new category. wish this would be informative enough to us all.

Hopefully that the year 2010 brings lots more joy and happiness to all of us. the bitter sweet memories of 2009 shall live forever. all the good deeds that we’ve done last year can always be repeated this year. and never to repeat the mistakes but learn from those. success and failures are part of life. this 2010 shall be another challenge for us all. wishing us all the best of luck and may us all be blessed by Allah.