Friday, September 16, 2011

Project Runway Recaps: S09 E08

It's that time of the week when I walk you through the latest episode of Project Runway! Strap yourself in for FUN!

This week they are told they will not be working with their usual models, and then a bunch of dudes come onto the catwalk! Oh no! Everyone freaks out because they don't know how to make pants for weiners to go in. Oliver is particularly freaked out because some of the dudes do not share his willowy slender frame. "Fat is fine, but not when I'm making clothes," Oliver says, winning the hearts and minds of viewers everywhere. The designers choose their dudes, and then TWIST! it turns out that the dudes are the clients but the dudes' wives and girlfriend will be the models. Everyone is relieved, except what if these ladies are fat?!? Laura, who like Oliver is going for the Most Likeable award, says winsomely, "Please Lord let him be really loaded and his wife's really hot and she's a gold-digger!" Apparently the wife (who says she "wants to look like a Barbie doll") meets Laura's standards of beauty, because after she meets her she says, "Thank God and how did he snag her?!" which is typically charming.

Aw Laura, you sweetheart!

The men have to describe their ladyfriends' style and preferences, which they are predictably bad at. At this point I paused the show and asked my husband what he would dress me in. Without hesistating he answered, "A lobster costume."

Josh is freaking out because his client's wife like simple clothes. He buys a bunch of mirror squares at Mood just in case he is wrong about the word simple. The wife doesn't like the mirror squares and Josh is amazed. "When he said simple, I didn't know it was like... simple!"

Oliver is also upset, because his client's wife has breasts. "I don't like women having boobs, I just want them to be flat." Please stop having secondary sexual characteristics, men and women! It is interfering with the way your clothes sit.

Oliver is so freaked out about boobs and what they do that he is running around asking everyone what DD cups are. Including Tim, who is baffled as to why Oliver would approach him with this question. "Boobs to me are trouble" agonises Oliver.

Bert's client is also obsessed with boobs, but in the opposite way. He says he fell in love with his wife when he saw her boobs, and then he motorboats the dressmaking dummy.

Anya makes a dress that I HATE but the judges love it. It has one sleeve and is long in the back and short in the front and I can't help but wonder if they would love it as much if someone else made it.

However, Josh wins, because his client forces him to make a little black dress which he thinks is way too simple. He basically wins on the fact that he was unable to bedazzle it. Once again, would the judges like this so much from someone else?

Sadly Bryce is out, even though I think he made a really cute dress. Maybe it had some construction issues but it was still adorable! Boo. It was hot pink and had giant pockets. If I saw this in a shop I would buy the shit out of it.

When Bryce returns to the designers' lounge to say goodbye, Josh throws his arms around him and exclaims, "Oh Bryce! Who's going to make my coffee?!?"

4 comments:

I can't believe that any outfit could be as good as you have made that giant pink-pockets ensemble look. If my wife wore that I would be forced to buy her a jet plane made of roses or something. Then she'd probably feed the plane to her cat and never wear the outfit again out of spite because she is just mean like that. ANYHOO, I am with you; pink pockets it is!

I thought Anya (who is adorable, don't get me wrong) made a mistake with all the details on that get-up. I did like the concept of an African inspired kimono because that's batshit, but who the hell would wear that? I've worked in galleries and let me tell you, not even the most coked-out gallerina is wearing a "November Rain" one-sleeved printed dress with a curtain cord belt. Nina was not as impressed as the other judges which made me happy.

I'd totally wear that pink pocket dress because I constantly misplace my phone. Great for parties where I don't want to carry around a clutch. I thought the complaint that it made your thighs seem wider was stupid since it is a dress, not pants, and everyone can see the size of your legs!