Monday, 13 October 2014

My 2 Pence: With Love...

Just over ten months ago I met Jacob.

It was the first time in life I'd known the feeling of being the complete centre of another person's world. He was a good guy, a considerate man who loved me for who I am, the qualities that I possess and would do anything in his power to make my heart smile.

More after the jump...

After a while we decided that we would commit to each other. To play my position in our relationship, I made myself less available to my close friends and focused on building with my dude. My whole thing is that in life, you've got to know what you want and building a great life with someone is the end game. He gave me keys to his crib, we went to the clinic together and got the suite of tests and both got the all clear.

Initially I was a little cautious because it had been a minute since I'd been in a relationship, but I decided to be open to the experience. And how I was glad I did. We'd gym together, go to seminars and gigs, play sports together, cook together and watch TV together. Being an independent dude who has for years beaten to my own drum, I finally found the value in what it is to be open to allowing someone else in. If I'm being completely real, I could see myself in it for the long run.

We had met each others' families and close friend on separate under the guise of friends during our time together and the crazy thing is, he would have been the dude I would be proud to tell my folks about because through building, he honestly showed me a type of happiness in the soul that I never knew existed.

Things came to a head on our third anniversary weekend which was also the weekend of my father's birthday. He was pissed at me because my family had organised a function for my dad which I attended, whilst he cooked a surprise spread of food with candles and music to mark our milestone. I basically lost track of time and returned hours after the fact and he felt let down by me in a way that was unforgivable.

We slept on it but it became the catalyst for him to sabotage what we'd built. He reconnected with the dude he'd been seeing before me, socialising together whilst I was at work communicating via text during 'us' down time and with thot dudes he called friends that were anything but. I checked him on each point but through intuition I knew we would end soon. It was almost an internal struggle between not throwing in the towel after investing so much of myself and needing to draw the line when disrespect becomes a deal breaker.