My Review

Featured Review

I couldn't help but see a version of myself as I read this......a lot of good poets rot in the shadows nowadays, and very few are seeing the light. I don't know what your entire situation is, but I took this poem to be a sign of hope. That the good poets would soon have their time to shine; and bathe in the light that would allow them to finally be "visible". It's always good to hold onto hope, and the message of this is a powerful one! Nicely constructed! This will definitely hit close to home with a bunch of poets on here (and maybe a bunch in the world who visit this community).

If I may suggest an experiment:

Your structure is brilliant. I just want to recommend that you play a little with the last line break ("Visible, as I fall/To free"). Line breaks say more than you realize, so depending on how you line break that, you could say a whole bunch of different things. I'm reading this poem, and I find that "as I fall to free", being the titular line, should not be two separate pieces. It could be, it would change how the line is viewed (falling endlessly, and to where? essentially to freedom!) but there's more power in it being one full line, thus giving more power to the solitary word "visible", which is an echo to the "long[ing] to be seen" up at the beginning. So play with it. I'm not saying take my suggestions, you have last say. If you like it as is, and like what it's saying as is, keep it. If you like what my suggestion is saying, change it. Your call. Just putting it out there.

This is overall phenomenal. Well done! Much enjoyed it!

Posted 1 Week Ago

Rating /100

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

1 Week Ago

Thank you for the review and encouraging words. I absolutely consider it especially with how much yo.. read moreThank you for the review and encouraging words. I absolutely consider it especially with how much you helped me on the other poem. ☺️

1 Week Ago

always a pleasure. glad to be of assistance.

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Posted 1 Week Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

1 Week Ago

I couldn't help but see a version of myself as I read this......a lot of good poets rot in the shadows nowadays, and very few are seeing the light. I don't know what your entire situation is, but I took this poem to be a sign of hope. That the good poets would soon have their time to shine; and bathe in the light that would allow them to finally be "visible". It's always good to hold onto hope, and the message of this is a powerful one! Nicely constructed! This will definitely hit close to home with a bunch of poets on here (and maybe a bunch in the world who visit this community).

If I may suggest an experiment:

Your structure is brilliant. I just want to recommend that you play a little with the last line break ("Visible, as I fall/To free"). Line breaks say more than you realize, so depending on how you line break that, you could say a whole bunch of different things. I'm reading this poem, and I find that "as I fall to free", being the titular line, should not be two separate pieces. It could be, it would change how the line is viewed (falling endlessly, and to where? essentially to freedom!) but there's more power in it being one full line, thus giving more power to the solitary word "visible", which is an echo to the "long[ing] to be seen" up at the beginning. So play with it. I'm not saying take my suggestions, you have last say. If you like it as is, and like what it's saying as is, keep it. If you like what my suggestion is saying, change it. Your call. Just putting it out there.

This is overall phenomenal. Well done! Much enjoyed it!

Posted 1 Week Ago

Rating /100

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

1 Week Ago

Thank you for the review and encouraging words. I absolutely consider it especially with how much yo.. read moreThank you for the review and encouraging words. I absolutely consider it especially with how much you helped me on the other poem. ☺️