I found the Wazoo bars totally by accident. I was in the dreaded Wal-Mart, a place I try to be in as infrequently as possible, and was giving the candy shelves by the checkouts a quick once-over. My eyes immediately landed on this freakishly bright packaging on the very bottom shelf. I almost passed over it, as it read as a toy or novelty of some sort at first. I could help but laugh once I had the bars in hand, as they’re so colorful and punchy, but in a way that’s more scary than attractive. Still, they appealed to me somehow, and I took a few home. I could help but wonder what wonderful chemicals I was going to ingest when trying these new flamboyant bars out. Sometimes I gotta take one for the team.

Ok, on with the description. Wazoo bars are the standard rectangular shape, and aren’t as heavy and they appear. They have, from the illustration on the package, two colored layers of nougat on the inside, covered in a colorful mockolate coating and topped with sprinkles. The website calls the insides “taffy” and the sprinkles “nuggets”, but it seems to be the case of different semantics.

Blue Razz: This is the bright blue one, and it looks alien to me. The sprinkles/nuggets on top are like Nerds, but round and not all bumpy. Their colors are pink, yellow and blue and match the coating nicely (what can I say, I’m an artist, I appreciate these thing!). The bar smells so strongly of raspberries, berries, perfume and cotton candy. It’s quite overpowering.

Taking a bite, the bright blue bar has inside that’s bright pink on top and bright deep blue on the bottom. It’s breathtaking, but not in the way I’d consider a food.

The flavor is immediately fruity with flavors of blue raspberry with a taste zest to it. It has a yogurt-like quality to it. The nougat/taffy interior is smooth with a bit of grain. The taste is a nice mix of sweet and tart with a creamy note. If creamsicles came in a raspberry version, it’d taste like this I’d imagine.

The sprinkles have a sharp burst of flavor to them which I was surprised by, since usually sprinkles are usually flavorless.

As awful as it may be to say, I…like it.

Wild Berriez: light purple outside, red, pink, blue yellow sprinkles. I thought the other one smelled strong, this one is so much more pungent. Wow! It smells of grape soda, cotton candy and kool aid. It’s a tasty, 100% artificial smell, like I’d image some icky popular celebrities might smell.

The inside has two layers like the Blue Razz, with a yellow bottom and pink top. Again, the sprinkles are flavored, some tasted of grape and other were just sweet.

The flavor is milder than expected, especially since the smell was so strong. This bar is more sweet and less tart than the Blue Rass. It actually tastes, more…authentic. Can I even use that word describing something with this color? The first taste is of sweet strawberries, then blueberries (real ones!) and blackberries. Sweet, juicy and floral. The texture is that nice chewy smooth nougat, and even after trying this bar, I’m unsure if I’d call this taffy.

Ok, so aside from all the visual warnings that these bars give with their fake, garish colors. The flavors are actually pretty fun. I don’t think it’s something I’d buy with any regularity out of fear of turning my insides strange colors. If you’re the kind of person who always enjoyed those oddly-colored yogurts, or Green Eggs and Ham, well, these bars are worth a shot.