Sometimes I feel so inept. Like when there's a baseball player who's worth $250 million, and I can't remember his or her name.

Visa is everywhere you want to be, except out of debt.

It's better to be poor than to be rich. The rich always have to fear becoming poor, but the poor never have to fear becoming rich.

Nothing is impossible if you don't have to do it yourself.

How about a constitutional amendment that declares anything said in a campaign commercial to be under oath?

Could it be that the people who have nothing to say are the ones we should listen to?

You never get tired if you rest a lot in advance.

Real courage is a willingness to attack raw oysters in public.

It's hard to relate to this high-tech world when your kid says her Lego Toys need more memory.

Every day in every way, I was getting worse and worse until I stopped trying to be myself.

* * *

The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases leaving the plant, and approached his new packer. He put his arm around the man’s shoulder and said, “Well, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, “This Side Up, Handle With Care.”

“Yes sir,” the worker replied. “And just to make sure, I stamped it on the bottom too.”

* * *

There are three types of people in this world. Those that make things happen, those that watch things happen, and those that wonder what happened.