Two days before I left Vancouver I had about $500 in the bank and I got a call from JP letting me know I could not stay with him in Toronto after all. I still had not heard from Fran about the details of her new place (like if she had one) and I got this email four hours before I left for my red eye flight.

"Jessie, Michel will be able to pick you up at the airport tomorrow morning.

I just found out this morning that I have a tear in my retina, and I am going for eye surgery at 3:00 this afternoon, so Michel is taking tomorrow off to look after me, so I don't know what kind of shape I will be in when you are here. Apparently I will not be able to see at all for a few days.

See you tomorrow - let us know if you get this message, as I will not be at my work number that I gave you. By the way our home number is 824-5896.

Michelle"

I was a little worried about that.

But, strangely, not as much as I was upset by the fact that leaving Bob's was a much bigger job than I had thought it would be. I had so much saved. It turns out, throwing out almost all of my art work and old diaries feels good. It's freeing to have all I own in the world in three bags. Clothes, shoes, and perfume turned out to be my top priorities.. go figure.

When I left Bob's I gave him back the only key left on my ring and I guess it sunk in that I'm homeless. This very still and exciting "but for the grace of God go I" feeling came over me as I waited for my cab.

Actually that was funny too. As I waited on the curb a 20something woman came up and asked me if "I knew of any places for a student to rent." I assumed she meant "because you seem to be leaving one right now." So I told her I was sorry and we chatted a bit and I conveyed with that "no, sorry" head tilt that I did not know of any other places either. She walked slowly down the block and I realised it had been awhile since I called the cab and my flight left in two hours so I had better get to the airport. On the phone the dispatch guy tells me my cab is on my block "Don't you see the van?" I look down the street and yes it's right there waiting for me, engine running. I start waving with a big smile on my ace for the cab to come and get me right from middle of the road. I wave a do a little childish jump for fun. So the "needs student housing girl" sees me and waves back and I try to shake my head no and point at the cabby who does not seem to notice me at all. And the stylish young woman starts walking back to me "What?" and I'm yelling "Sorry, not you sweetie, the cab driver" and she doesn't hear me or something and walks faster to see what's so important and I start laughing and she looks confused and the cab driver is still looking the wrong way and missing everything. So she gets close enough to understand the sounds I'm still making and very kindly smirks herself with understanding and finds a sight line for the cab van, walks right back up to the driver and points me out to him with a grin on her face. So now the East Indian cab driver thinks there's some sort of funny prank going on because of all the smiles and now he's all grin and asks "you are having a good day?" like "you funny pesky kids." It was nearly slapstick funny. Good times.

That nice driver then charged me $20 to get from East Van to the plane station. Very kind. And while on route I called Fran to make sure I was still going for some reason and she let me know she had paid her rent by direct deposit that day. Good news. Bad news was her orphanage decided all the computers in the house had a virus and she threw them out. My sister was upset that she had lost not only all her pictures from the past few years (she's an amazing photographer) but also her ability to email me the details of her new place. Ah life.

The cab ride I took drove me right past "Wink" as I left. I almost cried but instead I just forced myself to remember different long form scenes I've seen them do and laugh instead. For those of you that don't know, the last show I attended they asked for the happiest thing in your apartment as the suggestion. And then as a miracle for me, Tas used mine, "Pegasus". I'm very sad to leave the one thing I loved in Vancouver. But I try to tell myself that there are other shows and if I see all there is to see in Toronto and still can't stand being away from the living art the service boys do I can always figure out someway or something (I'm referring here to money) to see them again.

In case the deepness of my caring for the !nstantTheater troupe is of interest to anyone I'll share that I think that the "comedy" they see is actually restorative justice. I say this because Ryan is so openly from the west side of the city and speaks clearly about being a university graduate with a knowledge of Philosophy while in similar honesty Tas relates to the audience that he has been educated more by pop culture and his single mother. Yet in their similar interest in what the Dali lama calls love (the Dali Lama says "love is wishing for the causes of happiness for others") they commit to creating an environment for the benefit of others. They use the medium of improvised theatre to overcome socially accepted emotional blocks to understanding like the guilt associated with privilege and the shame attached to poverty by both actively participating in the creation of a time to show their caring for the differences in others and by making public the long term commited collaboration they have and use to decide to create something more than the sum of their two parts. The Christian tradition says God is "the word made flesh." I think these men are enacting love to the "service of others." I think they are in fact doing this in a better fashion than the two dominant religions in Vancouver in that they are not, as would be the Buddhist tradition, meditating in stillness on the good causes for others or, as would be in the Christian tradition, acting in the mind set that what they do is a way to channel God's charity to others. Instead they use the ruse of calling themselves "a cult" and create an inclusive space for the showing of the positive resolution options for important emotional, political and social human frailties and ills. These men do provide the living example of the possibilities of the human heart to expand beyond the ordinary and use difference positively. It just touches me because I forgot people could be so good.

I guess that's enough ranting for now.. I'll write again soon. It's not all that pleasant here because I really don't like animals and they have two cats and a big dog.

oh oh.. I almost forgot.. On the way from the Airport to my uncle's house he got a speeding ticket. He only got a warning though because he's a fireman.. It really is good to know people. ha, life.