Monica Lewinsky Admits: I Was ‘Suicidal’ After Bill Clinton Affair

In an essay for ‘Vanity Fair’ the former White House intern is speaking out for the first time in years about the affair that caused Bill Clinton to be impeached from office in 1998. She claims that she was so humiliated after the news broke that she had thoughts of wanting to kill herself.

Monica Lewinsky, 40, opens her highly anticipated Vanity Fairessay with these words: “It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress.” She’s referring to the outfit she wore when she performed oral sex on President Bill Clinton in the oval office, that she previously admitted she hadn’t dry cleaned.

It’s this dress that eventually launched an investigation that later caught the former President in a major lie, which ultimately led to his impeachment. It’s interesting timing for this tell-all to come out given that Bill’s wife, Hillary Clinton, is rumored to be making a run for the White House in 2016 but Monica claims she’s doing this to raise awareness for online bullying, since she was one of the first ever victims of virtual harassment.

Monica Lewinsky Admits To Being Suicidal After Bill Clinton Affair

Monica takes responsibility for the affair which made her a household name in the late 90s.

She went on to say that when Rutgers student, Tyler Clementi, committed suicide after his roommate outed him after filming him making out with a guy, it made her relive her own “global humiliation.”

“[My mom] was reliving 1998, when she wouldn’t let me out of her sight,” Monica says of her mother after the death of Tyler. “She was replaying those weeks when she stayed by my bed, night after night, because I, too, was suicidal. Thanks to the Drudge Report, I was also possibly the first person whose global humiliation was driven by the Internet.”

Monica — I Wasn’t Paid Off To Remain Silent

Monica, who famously sat down with Barbara Walters in 1999, has been relatively silent for the past 15 years, but she slams reports that claim she was paid to remain quiet.

I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth,” she says of being paid off. “I turned down offers that would have earned me more than $10 million, because they didn’t feel like the right thing to do.”