Hello, I have been lurking here for weeks. I figure I should share what I have been experiencing for a while now.

As the title states, I have had dreams and visions of my soulmate. She is stunning. I have had dreams of her contacting me telling me things are going good, and that we will meet soon. I believe this to be only a part of her, not her entire conscience.

I often wonder if she remembers our visits. I know she is out there looking for me. There have been times that I can feel her breathing like our breathing is matched, and I can tell when she is thinking of me. It’s such a fantastic feeling. I feel the connection of the times we were together in our past lives many times over. It is beyond what I have ever felt before. Like a flame igniting within my chest, as if she holds the same fire within her too. A beautiful reunion of two souls was becoming one. Two halves were making one big complete soul.

I have been looking for her for a long time, and have come up with few clues. My guide keeps telling me to keep searching for her. I need to find her soon for reasons I cannot share openly. It is somewhat urgent, as some critical matters are coming up very soon. Unfortunately, my powers are not very active at this time. Some tragic things have happened to me in the past. So it is not easy to pinpoint her.

If she is here looking, she will know my name and that it resonates within her soul already. I ask that whoever is reading this will pray for us to meet soon. I just figured I would share this here. Thank you. Many blessings.

I have been dreaming of my soulmate since I was a child. I am 17 now and my visions are of this guy in a ballroom with blue eyes and dark blackish brown hair.

I feel like I will meet him in this life. I don’t know if he will look the same but I don’t care. He is so romantic and loving and caring in all of my visions that I love him not only for his looks but for his personality as well.

Hi. I’m looking for someone and I’m wondering if you might be him. Your name stuck out for me.

Being honest I don’t fit the description you gave but I just felt the urge to say something. To be honest I’m not even 100% sure what my twin flames or soulmates real name is but I know that I need to find him.

Anyways sorry for rambling. I was a bit unsure if I should say anything but I decided I should. I hope if nothing else you find her soon, I wish you luck.

The guy in my dreams I’ve been calling Daniel Evans for as long as I can remember. I don’t know why I do PR when I started to, I just bow that I do, and it fits.

Now this is the weird part. His appearance in the dreams changes a lot but I’m always able to tell that it’s them. Usually by the way they talk and act or the way they treat me.

They most commonly have black hair that is short but goes close to their chin in length and again this a bit weird but they often have red eyes or blue those are the most common I’ve noticed. They don’t glow or anything they’re just a normal red and a dark but bright blue. They seem to be tall but that may be just that I’m short. (I’m somewhere around 5’2 or 5’7, big gap I know but it’s been awhile since I’ve measured myself and I’ve honestly forgotten.)

Every time I’ve seen them lately they seem to be worried about something at first or looking for me, then when they find me they get really excited. I don’t know and it honestly makes me worried for them. I’ve noticed though they are extremely sweet to me, they can be a bit rude sometimes if people annoy them.

I’ve only had a full conversation with them a select few times. Normally I only get to see them for a little while in my dreams so we’re content to just be together.

Going back to why you stuck out. First your name is really familiar. Second when I opened up this link I immediately recognized this page. I’ve never been here before and I even checked my internet history (I never delete it in case I forget something) but there was no mention of this post or this site. I’ve been known to get déjà vu before but it’s usually nothing super specific, but I remember this post so well and I’ve never seen it before!

Sorry if this isn’t very helpful. To make the issue of finding them worse my memories have been acting up lately and I’ll forget things only to remember them at some random point later.

Anyways sorry for rambling. I don’t know if this helped at all, I’m sorry if not. If nothing else if you can’t help me I would love to help you in any way I can and if you like I can post a link to this on my Tumblr and Facebook. If at least one of us can get help finding who we’re looking for I’ll be happy. 🙂

Why do you call him Daniel Evans? Did he tell you that’s his name? If I may ask, what have you both talked about in these few conversations you’ve had?

“I don’t know why I do PR when I started to, I just bow that I do, and it fits.” PR? Like Past Regression or something?

The reason why the person looks different in almost every dream is that your dreaming mind sets up the dream world you’re in. It’s not always precise as there are practically limitless factors that come in from your subconscious mind. Their dream vessel, which allows them to be in your dream, it isn’t always stable.

I’ve seen many red-eyed beings in my life, especially in my dreams. Typically, red eyes mean they’re a demon. But if you see yourself having red eyes, that means it is a darker side of you manifesting more. I have seen mine. Speaking of which now that I think about it, I have frequently seen this guy that looks a lot like me in dreams, except his hair is black and he wears all black. He hangs around me in almost every dream (my hair is brown and I have blue eyes). He has fought alongside me many times against evil spirits as well as in dreams. Otherwise, he is usually just right next to me watching me do things. I don’t remember if his eyes are ever red. I do not know who he really is. There just isn’t enough evidence.

I believe you may be more helpful than you think. And vice versa. I don’t believe in coincidences so much, so the deja vu could be a clue of sorts. A deja vu can be a future timeline you are connecting to. I think it’s your soul telling you where to go and what to do. There may be some connection here between us. But I won’t go so far as to say it’s a soulmate connection, right now. Perhaps we can help each other find our soulmates. And if you’d like to post up my link, go ahead.

In the meantime, we can talk through further to discuss these matters.

Heyy, I had a dream of who could be my soulmate. It was not much far from now nothing looked different. I was around the age I am now. Well, the house down the street had finally sold and the neighbors moved in and came to meet us. It was a middle-aged couple who looked kinda young but you could tell by their eyes that they were older than they looked. And a boy who looked around my age. He had golden curly hair that was a bit longer on the top than on the sides and he had golden or hazel green eyes. He was tall and muscular he looked like he had played soccer or football. And he had pulled me aside as soon as we looked into each other’s eyes I felt like I was home.

He told me he was my soulmate and I believed him and we fell in love. There are other parts of the dream but there weird it felt like my crazy mind and soul were competing and my soul was trying to tell me something. Well needless to say all I did was think of him all the time then I heard a voice a male voice that sounded like home. I would talk to that voice all the time and yes it sounds crazy but I always felt like I could spill my guts and be still be safe when I talked to this voice. Let’s just say this voice kept me from doing some bad things that would hurt me and it was all because the voice gave me feelings of being loved, it gave me a reason to want to live again.

After that, I started getting more dreams and fewer convos with the voice and there were two dreams that stood out. One was me him and my friend who’s bf happened to be my “soulmates” bf. And my soulmate and his friend were talking we were about 17 and my soulmate was talking about how we were engaged and how I was the one for him and how I changed his life forever and I am and always will be his home. Then his friend started talking about my friend saying how he thinks she’s the one how he loves her with all his heart. And how couldn’t hear them or see them taking because I in the dream was dancing in the den (we were at a party) and my subconscious me was looking there, it felt like I was reading their minds?

Then the other one was of him giving me a promise ring after we were dating for a year. He and I were like 14. It was actually on my 14th birthday and then we got married and then around when I was 18-24 I got preggo and it was our life in the future. One scene stood out, he was pushing our baby girl on the swings. She was about 2 yrs old and had long light brown hair almost blond that was so curly and wild and she had a round face and almond eyes and chubby cheeks with his eyes and toffee colored skin. Then we all played tag and it felt so right like this is perfect or at least my perfect.

I always wanted a life with thrills but as long as I was with him I would love any life. And I feel in love with him since then and I’ve had crushes or small crushes like any normal teen would get but nothing like what I felt for him. If you have any comments on this or any suggestions please let me know. Thanks.

Evan, as per my experience, dreams are symbols of what is going to happen. You are going to meet with your love soon, but trust me it is not going to be simple. It will be a life-changing moment, and you are going to experience a lot of universal forces that can change your life, naturally in a better way.

So until that moment, prepare yourself mentally and spiritually to deal with such a life-changing moment.

Ok, I’ll take your advice. One of my problems with this is that right now I’m in love with a girl can’t get her out of my head. We dated, and I broke up with her because I didn’t love her, she said she loved me.

I’ve tried to get back with her twice, and the first time she told me she wasn’t ready and the second time that she liked us being friends. And well now I’m in love with her, and she still shows signs that she cares about me too, but I’d like to know if that’s just my head playing tricks on me or not. So if I’m supposed to meet my soulmate then why am I madly in love with her. And if maybe the dream means she’s my soulmate, how to do I get her back?

Uhh, how do you go from believing this one guy you dreamed of being your soulmate to thinking a girl being that? Let me ask you this, what are soulmates to you?

The soulmate concept doesn’t work that way. Whatever gender you are, the opposite is your soulmate. The reason it’s like this is because there needs to be a balance between masculinity and femininity with both your souls. Its meant to form a more significant more powerful soul that way. To bring you closer to Our Creator. Soulmates are miracle creation of God to bring us closer to Him.

Also, you cant change soulmates. They’re a gift from God carefully planned to be put into your life. And you can only have one. To sum this up, if one person were not to like His gift, that would be throwing away the best thing that ever happened to them and spitting in Our Father’s face.

It’s best to be single until you find your soulmate. This world is dark enough with how people treat each other. A lot of that hatred goes around from just people breaking each others’ hearts. Best not to get involved in anything like that that makes you darker in mind and soul.

Be pure, strive to become purer, keep the innocence that you currently have or what’s left of it, and do not let the darkness of this world corrupt you. To be with soulmate requires purity of heart, mind, and soul. Both of you have to be pure. And when the time is right, you will meet your sm. You both must accept Our Father and have the desire to be closer to Him.

Aashna, wow, such kind words. I feel a deep feeling of joy from what you said, for some reason. Thank you. You are supportive, and I pray the same that you have a beautiful journey as well. 🙂

God bless.

Arianna, how wrong I am, huh…? Okay, then how wrong You are to jump to conclusions about me when you don’t even know me. To go so far to assume I am new to the spiritual world and that I’m unaware, naive. You do not know what I have gone through to obtain this information. Nor do you know who I am. Just because my opinion is different from yours and that I disagree with you doesn’t mean I am new to all this. There are a bunch of people who believe the same as you, and those who believe the same as I. Does that mean we are all new to this? No, it doesn’t.

Also, notice I have never spoken about “twin flames” on here. I am explicitly talking about soulmates. And a concept of soulmates that seemingly most of the New Age society in this world doesn’t accept. Even then, I still do not condone societal worldly views.

Aashna, I am curious. You mentioned my beliefs about soulmates and how you believe I am ready to meet mine. Does this mean you hold a similar belief as well? I am wondering what else your beliefs are? I am interested in learning about your journey.

Thanks Evan for being curious about me. I read your post 12 hours ago. But when I tried to write about my beliefs and the journey I thought it difficult to cover everything in one paragraph. I hope you won’t get bored.

From childhood, I used to believe in only three things, faith, hard work, and trust. I am a genuine family person but was too ambitious and dynamic, a perfect goal seeker. It helped with achievements in my career, but it never gave me an opportunity to learn about life itself.

I used to believe that every person has good in them and if you treat them well, the return would be good. If you experience life, you can understand how I was wrong.

Regarding love, I had only one belief, which there is someone my destiny will allow me to meet and our love will create history. So I was like a shell, hiding my girlish attitude inside and living a machine life. I also had the power to touch someone’s soul. If I am unable to touch a soul, then apparently that person has been following his mind rather than his soul. A good way for me to identify good and bad people. So I was safely enjoying my career and personal life. Though I was alone, I never thought of myself as alone. Although many guys showed an interest in me, I was immune and ignored them.

Suddenly one day, I heard the voice of a guy, I still wonder how it touched my soul. My shell was broken. It was a thunderstorm for my soul and the first time I experienced my heartbeat. The first time I experienced myself as half, and he was my other half. When I realized that I was in love, I tried to run away from him because love was an unusual experience for me. The more I ran, the more I found every atom surrounding me was him, and unknowingly the more I was hurting him. When I got tired, I stopped running, accepted my soul’s decision and allowed my hidden girlish attitude to come out and make me the most beautiful version of me. I was experiencing my connection to his soul. I could sense his presence within a 2km radius. I could feel what exactly he is doing without asking him.

Now I know that he is my twin flame, and if you understand the concept of twin flames, they are your mirror opposite. When we met I was faithful and loyal, I never considered anyone else attractive, but he was womanizing. I wondered why I was connected to his soul so intensely. He wondered why he could not feel for me the way he used to feel for other women, with me he was always angry, but talkative and caring, unusual for him. It was like we both were new to each other, we were feeling a million years of bonding between us. I was even able to recall our three previous lives. But it took him four years to realize we are connected through our souls.

We are twin flames, the same but opposites. If I tell the truth, he will lie. If I care, he will hurt. When I realized our soul connection, I accepted it. When he realized, he ran away. Back then I knew we were connected, but I didn’t know that we twin flame mirrors. I was broken. One problem with me is that I never make a decision which I feel I will regret in the future and I never accept defeat. But this break up was forcing me to feel regret and defeat for my love, and I was not ready to do so.

I am a writer, and suddenly for whatever reason, I came across the words “twin flames.” Then I understood my connection to him. I was chasing him, and he was running. But now I know whatever I do, he will reflect accordingly, but oppositely. I stopped chasing, and he stopped running. I now understand why he was running; he wants to stop the Awakening of his soul. I know what I have to do to awaken his soul. I don’t know, and I don’t care if we can reunite in this life,

I will be born again and again for him to complete the reunion of our souls.

I hope I fulfilled your curiosity. As I told you, I can sense souls. That’s why I know the day of meeting your soulmate is coming soon.

Hi all. I again woke from a soulmate dream heartbroken and empty. I have been dreaming of him since I was about 17 years old. He doesn’t always look the same, but similar and even if he looked completely and different it wouldn’t matter because we are connected.

I am now 48 years old. I have been married and divorced and through many trials. He has come to me in dreams whether I am married, dating, in a long time relationship or single. I have dreamt of what I believe was a past life and he was in the war, and I wondered if I would ever see my beloved ever again. I have woke still feeling him beside me, his arms, the warmth of his body and the feel of his breath still clinging to my skin.

I know his scent, the smell that is uniquely him. He always has blondish hair and blue eyes. He is about 6′. His name is ALWAYS John. He reassures me many times that I am the only one for him. I know he is out there. I know he has dreamt of me as well. What bothers me is sensing we will never find each other nor come together in this life outside of our dreams. What also bothers me is that I have dreams and I have ‘dreams.’ That’s how I always phrase it but what I have is premonition through dreams.

I have freaked people out because of my dreams. I have also stood near a person and known things I could not have possibly known. I cannot control it; it just happens sometimes. I have no sense of a spirit guide; I wish I did. Anyhoo, I have dreamt of John every time I sleep for the past several days now. I don’t usually dream so consecutively with him. And each time I wake, I’m heartbroken not still to be asleep and with him, to again be alone and empty. Tonight I woke at 2 am from a dream with John, and it’s becoming almost too much to bear. So I decided to do some research and try to find others like myself and found this site.

It’s a bit of a relief because while I KNOW John is real and that he’s out there, sometimes I start to think maybe I’m going crazy, like literally. Finding this site, reading others experiences, especially Evan’s, I don’t feel so crazy. But it’s heartbreaking to feel torn between your soulmate time and again. It floods me with the feeling of how much I need him. And I do need him, emotionally, spiritually. I suppose physically as well, as I yearn for the feel of his hand or the warm, gentle strength of his arms.

I agree with others; there is no feeling that compares. And the only time I have ever felt such completeness, wholeness is with John in my dreams. Thank you for letting me share my experiences. All replies welcome. May we all physically find our soulmates in this lifetime as well as all others.

My soulmate is a little different then what is being described above. I don’t know his name and have never been able to see his face fully. It’s more like a feeling.

He usually has darker hair and is tall. I believe that throughout our past lives that are appearance changes as we transition into something new, but I did have a “soulmate dream” last night which I have had before.

I am living in New York City and am thinking it’s during WWII, he is in the military. We write letters back and forth. One day he shows up at my door, and we spend the day together. One thing that sticks out is that when we get to this shop, he started kissing someone else (never happen before). I think this means his soul is currently with someone else, but for some reason, I wasn’t upset.

I just told him to let me know when he is no longer with her. I think this means we will not dream of each other for a while.

I came across this page accidentally while exploring possible explanations regarding my soulmate, so I’ll leave my story here too. (English is not my native, but I’ll try to be understood as much as possible).

Firstly, there’s this feeling I’m waiting for someone (in a romantic way) almost my entire life. I feel this person as a part of me, I feel him in the air around me. It’s like he’s here, but I can’t see him. Meeting him would also clarify some important things to me, one of them concerns life purpose.

There were experiences like visitations in dreams, astral visitation from him.

I was told that seeing certain faces and looks in dreams doesn’t have to mean anything, meaning that the soulmate can take any kind of physical looks, and eventually when the time comes close to meet-up then we can see them in dreams for how they really look like. Then again, some people dreamed exactly of someone who they’ve met up later in their lives. Anyway, everything’s possible.

I was also told that this person is my soulmate romantic partner with whom I’ve reincarnated together in past live(s) too.

I’m searching for him and feel like he’s searching for me, through space and time. Ok, I’ll not go into many details now.

(Evan’s story resonated with me, so that was the reason I posted here). I was glad to read all the experiences and opinions here, and I wish you all well. Let the journey adventure continue. 🙂

I am sorry because of the way you feel, even more, cause I can understand your emotions. Your thoughts.

Each of us has their own individual path to walk. The cycle of more lives. Even if you don’t meet this particular person in this lifetime, it’s possible you meet him in the next one. Time in the Universe is nothing. Actually, it doesn’t exist at all. Our lives are just moments in comparison. But, in the Earthly plane, we feel each second without a beloved one, so it’s a lot of missing for one lifetime.

Don’t ever think you’re crazy, what you feel is real. Listen to your intuition cause that’s the best guide. What troubles us is that we don’t have answers to everything and don’t know at times how to perceive a certain situation. There is an explanation for what you and I and all of us are going through. Even if we don’t know one at the moment, we still have to learn to live with ourselves believing that everything will turn out to be as it’s supposed to.

There could be various reasons why some people miss “unknown persons,” why some of them meet, and some don’t… Longing for someone from past life, unfinished business, sudden separation in past life, feelings which are a premonition about someone who will arrive in the future (regardless if we’ve known them in previous lives or this is the first meeting), souls which have a certain contract to fulfill and so on…

Regardless of what happens, don’t let pain overwhelm you. Try to leave with those feelings as with beautiful memories – and there’s still time and future ahead, in this or next lifetime. 🙂

In the last post – in the last sentence- to Kelley, I meant “Try to live with those feelings as with beautiful memories” and not “leave”…sorry for that.

To Summer101 I’d tell the same thing as in the previous post.

As it goes for the girlfriend in the dream, girlfriend can mean exactly that what you’ve said – that he’s with someone else.

But, the girlfriend symbol in a dream can also mean something else and not a girlfriend literally, that at this moment he’s dedicated to some other goals in life, like career, certain hobbies or interests, school (education) and so on. That can also be the reason for rare visits from him or non-visits.

The last year has been crazy. I have had many revelations, I’m calling them revelations for want of a better word as revelations sound weird to me, but that’s really what they are. These have come since mine and John’s last dream. Throughout the past ten months, sometimes in such quick succession that it’s left my head spinning. I mean like, boom, boom, boom! Yes, crazy insane. I’ve been left off kilter, off balance it’s all happening so fast, and I’m not quite sure what to think.

Ok, well! The 1st revelation is; I know who John is. I never met him in 3-d because everything feels apart right before we were planning to meet. More on that in a bit. We both posted to a B.B. (online forum) many years ago, and that’s how we ended up connecting. His name IS John. John David (he used Aaker as his last name online but that wasn’t his real last name, I never learned what his last name was. I presumed that it would be known when we met), he is a Jr. And so his nick is JJ.

I’m still in a kind of shock from this 1. How I never put it together is a mystery. I would dream of him a LOT back then when we were in contact, and he would dream of me and even told me he could feel me against him. And yes, I would wake from dreaming of him back then and still be able to feel his breath, his body heat, the weight of his arm and even his special ‘him’ scent. So I don’t understand how I never put 2+2 together that JJ was my John. Maybe it had been so long since I had shared a dream with John when JJ and I connected that I didn’t connect the 2. But this shook me. Seriously freaked me out.

Now, this one is crazy. JJ was born the next town over from where I was living when we were in contact, but he was then currently living in the Nashville, TN area. I now live 2 hours from Nashville. Crazy.

We had planned to meet. He had agreed to play back up for a band called The Texans on August 8th in NY, and I was going to go into NY from Jersey and see him play and he had planned to extend his stay so we could spend time together and get to know each other. A few weeks before this happened, my ex used health issues and trouble I was having with medications to treat those issues (they made me sick. So I had offered my ex to have my daughter for an extended stay to spend quality time with her and in that time I had hoped my dr could sort out the mess of medications so I wasn’t feeling so I’ll all the time) and he used that to rip custody of my daughter away from me.

On top of this, there were people on the B.B., or at least one person who did NOT like the whole me/JJ idea and began spamming the B.B. with hateful stuff towards me. Attacking me and I was raw from life in 3-d. And JJ wasn’t answering me. I couldn’t get ahold of him for weeks. Then when he finally got in touch I, rather than ask if he was ok, being raw and paranoid from the attacks has assumed it was him being swayed by others and blowing me off and I went off on him. I mean, I slammed the proverbial door in his face. He then said he wouldn’t bother me anymore and not to bother trying to contact him because he was canceling any way I had to contact him. And he did cancel every and any means I had to contact him, basically slamming the proverbial door right back in MY face. Did I mention I’m a Scorpio? Yeah, that doesn’t help me out a lot of the time, my brain disconnects from my mouth, literally. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m saying until it comes out if my mouth and I hear it with my ears.

Now, there was someone who I ‘thought’ was a good friend of mine, and I asked him for help and to ask JJ to talk to me. He had started talking on the phone with him when all this happened, and this ‘friend’ told me no he would not. That I had nearly killed JJ and was acting to protect JJ from me. Yeah, maybe he WAS trying to protect him, but maybe he wasn’t. I mean, this was supposed to be MY ‘friend,’ and he didn’t seem to give two hoots about what I was going through or about protecting me. So, forgive me my doubts. I don’t know, and at this time it’s a moot point.

Alright, let’s get back to the revelations. Then I’m hit with the revelation that Something had happened that had caused JJ not to answer or get in touch for those weeks. Bam! It was not due to ANY influence from anyone or anything that was happening. Bam! (JJ suffers from depression) I have a sense he was hospitalized during that time, being adjusted on medications. And when he was discharged he contacted me but was still very raw and how did I greet him? I slammed the proverbial door in his face after reading him the riot act. Bam! Maybe I DID nearly kill him n a sense; maybe he became suicidal. Bam! I emailed all email addresses he had, ones specifically for me and him for when his other email was screwing up- he was thoughtful like that. So why didn’t he SEE what I had been going through and then cut ME some slack? After all, he had all the details of many emails as to what I had been going through while I had no information to his situation. Jan! Bam!!! Jan was a girl he dated. Jan did not like me at all. She wanted to move things forward with JJ, and he told her in no uncertain terms it would never go past dating. She was livid. She would ring his phone for continually. Until he finally would pick up simply because if he didn’t, she would come pounding on his door. Yeah, she did that cause she knew he was talking with me. BUT, she would have been helpful and would have his key. He never saw any of those emails or ICQ messages. Bam!

I told you some of these came so quick and consecutively I was overwhelmed.

So, a few weeks ago I posted, as I do sometimes, looking for anyone who might know JJ. I get an email from someone- not JJ/John but a retired private investigator who many years ago had lost contact with his soul mate and someone had helped him, and after about six months he was able to reconnect with his love. And my post spoke to his soul, and he is willing to help attempt to track down JJ. Bam!

My pc is having issues, and he needs info from an old hard drive. I finally get my pc back up and pull what I can from the old hard drive. I lost a LOT of data though. And my phone screws up my email and all my saved emails are showing ‘so sender, no subject, no content’ and all with the date 12/31/1969. The emails are there; they just cannot be viewed. Now I can’t get to my email from this guy! Is this karma? No idea, maybe. Maybe I was a serial killer of puppies and kittens and baby bunnies in a previous life. This would serve me right. Then I remember he said he was based in San Francisco! Ok, I go to craigslist/sf, and I post there looking for this guy, not having much faith. Bam! This guy emails me! Nuts, just nuts!

Next, I’m scrolling through YouTube to see if anything new is posted that I might be interested in to get my mind off things and this ‘Twin flame’ Tarot Card reading pops up. I click it and omg! It was like this girl was doing a personal reading for me! I kid you not. Bam! I’d love for someone else to watch it and tell me what they think, I really would. So if anyone’s interested in letting me know. Her reading- wow!

I feel like things are moving very fast all of a sudden towards union. And I feel ill prepared! I still have a lot of work to do on me. But if this past year is any indication, and then this retired private eye… I’m in a bit of a panic, and I’m still off balance. I don’t know if there will be more revelations or not. The last came about a week ago. And that twin Flame reading thing two days ago. I feel it most definitely is a sign for me.

I’m having a difficult time processing here. Please, someone, jump in. This is too much to be a coincidence, right? Or am I making too much out of it all? I’m not sure what to think if I’m honest. Maybe I’m just- mentally unstable or something, and I don’t know I am? My sense is we will be in contact again. Whether it goes further, I don’t have any sense of that, at least not at this time. But I most definitely have a sense of being reconnected communication-wise.

Lord, I need a drink. But I don’t want to and have it interfere with me spiritually. But I sure could use one! Ok. I’m sorry I wrote a book and I know I went off topic, but I felt I had to give background for it to make sense to you reading this.

Should I post this elsewhere? If it should be posted elsewhere, I’m very sorry! Just let me know, and I’ll do whatever I need to.

Alright, I’m off for now. Thank you for reading and any and all comments/replies.

Love and light to all,

Kelley

Ps. I feel like I forget a revelation, but I’ll know if I did an edit.

A very different kind of dream last night. 1st dream with John since February.

Sorry I need to get this out. I woke from 2 consecutive dreams, waking up in the middle of an anxiety attack. These were different, especially the first.

It began with the same type of feeling to it, relaxed, but quickly went into panic within the dream. We were in either NY or Chicago- I have NO idea where the Chicago is coming in, it was dark out and we were taking a walk, looking for or at least talking about a bakery and I think pizza and we stopped under some type of lighted overpass or inside a tunnel, something like that. We were talking about where to go next, which way and this bakery and something happened.

A really loud noise, like an explosion and I kind of just stood there scared but calm asking ‘John? What was that?’ And all of a sudden he’s telling me ‘Go! Go! Go Go GO!!!’ And people are running toward us scared and screaming. There are these- metal, what looked like pipes but that you could climb like a ladder but they weren’t a ladder. Then there was a sort of platform with at least 1 pipe running above it across this ‘tunnel’ with some type of round access plate- like a reversed round metal manhole cover that I instinctively knew was an escape, a way out. He told me ‘Go! Up there!’

And he’s helping me up and then giving me a lift with his hand supporting my bottom, saying ‘Hurry!’ And as I start climbing all this water starts flooding in. And I’m climbing as fast as I can and looking back down to John and calling ‘John!!!’ And he’s telling me ‘Go! I’m ok just go! Go fast!’ And he’s holding on and this water floods in and it’s like waist deep on him, and he starts climbing. He’s soaked!

I get to the top of this platform, and others begin trying to grab on, trying to climb. I’m standing there looking at this pipe that leads to this round hole with this huge heavy metal plate, and I’m looking down, and I see all this water rushing under us. I look at John and start screaming his name, scared he will not make it up. I’m just yelling ‘John!!!!’ He finally makes it up, and I’m in a panic. And while he’s clearly agitated, he remains calm- not necessarily, actually ‘calm’ but not in panic like me, as always.

He works in an emergency girl; he’s always level-headed in panic situations. Only one other person makes it up these pipe/ladder like things. And this guy is in worse shape than me! I mean flipping out, we’re going to die like flipping out! A not even thinking type of flipping out. And Johns trying to get him to get a grip on himself and keeps glancing at me. And I’m asking ‘John what happened? What’s going on? What do we do?’

I’m clearly terrified but controlling myself, but this guy he’s not. And I can see In Johns’ eyes, his face, that this is a problem- that if this guy can’t get control of himself, he’s putting the US in danger, ME in danger. I’m sure I have the look of a deer caught in headlights. I know myself, and I know exactly how I look, and John sees this. This guy is crazed. I’m terrified John’s going to get hurt with this guy. Johns is trying to get this guy to calm down, telling him ‘get a grip man!’ And he’s trying to tell me we have to climb across this pipe. I’m asking, ‘John what happened? What was that boom?

How am I going to open that heavy metal cover to get out?’ And this guy is freaking out, and I don’t know if he was trying to get past me trying to get to the pipe in a panic or if he went to push past John to get past me, but he and John go over the side. I’m screaming ’John!!! Omg John!?’ the guy is gone, washed away in the flood of water. John is holding on and is telling me it’s ok, he’s ok. But he’s covered in rusty red- like blood but not blood I don’t think, but it looks like it and scares the hell out of me. It’s on his white shirt, his arms, his jeans and he’s trying to use the water to wash as much off with his other hand as he can before climbing up.

And I wake up in a full blown anxiety attack. The other dream was similar but not as complete and not quite as ‘real.’ It’s like I was dreaming and the dream got disrupted, and he forced it to start over again. That’s the only way I know how to explain it.

Red, white and water. Lots of water. NY or Chicago. I’m saying NY, but I get the sense Chicago. I have no idea where Chicago is coming into play. I know NY much better than Chicago, so maybe that’s why I’m saying NY. It looked like NY, but I have the sense it was Chicago. I have no idea if Chicago has ‘tunnel’ things like that, but I DO know NY does. I’ve been in NY many times, but only briefly have I been in Chicago.

The colors are red and white again. And this time LOTS of water.

I’m not sure what this dream means yet. I have a sense of urgency. But that could be residual from the dream. It wasn’t a nice dream. It was terrifying. I’ve never had a dream with John like that. Not ever.

Now, I did do a LOT of inner work yesterday. I knew that I had to release old hurts since I was a child. When I re-began meditation work this past year, it was ‘work.’ In the past, I practiced candle meditation to help with anxiety. I even taught JJ and a few others. But this past year I went straight into meditation ‘work’, on my path towards full enlightenment I suppose you could say. Wanting a complete peace within me is what I was after. But when I started the work I started bawling, I was crying, and I stuffed it down thinking I was doing something wrong.

I then found out I was wrong to do that and it’s ok to cry, that it’s a cleansing that needs to take place. Ever since I haven’t been able to get to that point of release. But yesterday I came across a guided meditation for healing. I used this guy’s technique but on my own with my visualization because he just wasn’t working for me. I met with my five yo self, and I hugged her and cried for her and told her I was sorry I couldn’t protect her but that I tried. I held her and told her I loved her. And I bawled. I cried. So I feel I’m making progress.

So maybe this is why I had this dream? I wasn’t even trying to dream of John, at least I don’t think I was. And our dreams don’t work that way anyhow.But now I’m feeling kind of sad, not sure why. Could be the after effects of the anxiety attack.

Anyway, I’m sorry. I just had to get that out to work through and relieve all the anxiety.

I think I need to post in the Spiritual forum. I feel I need help with my journey.

I don’t know; I’m probably not thinking very clearly.

Anyhoo, any insight, opinions, and advice are most appreciated and welcome.

I am happy for you if you have managed to find your John. In that case, I’d say that sometimes we don’t see what we’ve been searching for is in front of our eyes cause we look through glasses of already established ideas and thoughts about it or we misinterpret the signs. There is also something called the right (divine) timing.

Let me give you an advice (and since you’ve asked for one): I see you’re emotionally and mentally very involved with this entire situation. It’s like you’re standing in the center of a big picture having all these puzzles (signs) and wanting to put them in the right place. When you get surrounded with lots of happenings at the same time, you easily get overwhelmed, which can cause that you don’t know how to interpret occurring signs and if those are signs at all. A person gets easily confused.

But, when you distance yourself a little bit, then you’re able to see if there’s a right place for each puzzle and you can see the bigger picture. So, I’d suggest a little break. Whatever relaxes you: nature (food for the soul), music, meditation. Provide yourself with moments of peace without thinking and analyzing. The point of this is to clear your mind in order to hear your heart. The heart is your best guide. In its gentle quietness, you’ll find a solution, and it will show you the right way.

I hope it works out well for you and John. And that you manage to communicate both with understanding and compromise in the future.

Your dream. When I read your penultimate post and then the last one with your dream in it, I saw similarities. In my opinion, your dream was the symbolic reflection of your inner state (thoughts, feelings) regarding the situation you were going through.For example, you and John walking and talking represent you both having pleasant communication (relationship) on the internet forum before the fight in waking life happened. The explosion represents your fight in waking life. Running away from drowning in the water represents trying to get over the consequences your fight left in the waking life (your anxiety plays a role in this). White color represents purity, truth, peace, new beginnings. Red color represents love, passion, emotional relationship, but also danger and anger. You can interpret it the best for yourself based on your emotions and what you’re going through in your life while we can only give you directions.

As it goes for your inner cleansing process, that’s a good way to get you back on track. The more you come to peace with yourself the closer you’re to hearing your heart. When it seems the most difficult to deal with the problem, then it is the right time to fight back. You cry you go through emotional chaos; you feel like everything’s falling apart. But that can also be a transformation period for you where you clean yourself of everything that doesn’t serve you anymore, and you get out of it with a new perspective. You can turn your inner pain into a weapon for lightning the path in front of you.

Love is the most potent, healing and beautiful feeling one can feel, receive and give. I wish your life to be filled with love.