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You're like my little brother. I love you dearly, and only want the best from you. I try to teach you when you ask for a lesson, I try to hold you when you need support, and I try to make you laugh when you need that extra boost. I can't do that any longer. Nothing sinks in, nothing goes through, and nothing connects. You tell me you need a friend, not a mentor, yet fail to realize friends are the greatest mentors. You say you're the type of guy who learns from another persons mistakes, rather than your own, so that way you will not make the same mistake that person made; that is not a lesson. You say you know exactly what you're doing, or at least what you need to do in order to figure out what you're doing, all on your own, believing that you only need yourself to reach your goal; that is not a support. You push away and focus only on the negative things in life, so you can avoid them, and stay at a false road of happiness; that is not a laugh for an extra boost.
Now you say you don't need my lessons, my support, or my laughs.
What do you need?

__________________

"Oh, fantastic! What did you think? My team was pretty cool, right? It's a bit embarrassing to show off, but I love to show their best sides!"
1091-8737-0112

I told myself I'd take a break from forums, but I had to get this out. Stop going on a rampage every freaking time you don't do well in any video game. The game isn't cheating, the game isn't hacked either. Sure there are cheaters in games like COD and Battlefield, but the thing is you're not playing it right. You don't know how to think things out and plan ahead and your not playing as a team either. Just face it, you're not very good. You don't have to throw the controller against the tv or break things just cause you're not doing good or you keep dying. I can understand you are upset or that it can piss you off, but you take your anger way too far. In fact the reason you just cut your hand just now is because of we're too angry over Battlefield and threw a glass way to hard. I don't mind you getting mad but you scream so loud that you wake up neighbor and other family members. So stop going destroying things and calm the hell down.

Hard to believe you're really gone now you know that, all those years we spent together like brothers just closed like a old book. Feels like a nightmare right now but I know it's reality no matter how much I want to deny it, you were my everything when I had nothing and the world's going to be a lot darker without you man. Love you so ****ing much it physically hurts, hopefully someday though I'll see you on the other side.

We don't get on at the best of times. But today was just one step too far, I wanted to punch your pathetic little face in. I can't believe you just expected me to stand there silently while you belittled me and made out that you knew more about this issue than I did >when I'm the one experiencing it< - You've got some nerve.

You realize that when she finds out that there isn't anything more to you than TV shows and depression, she probably won't like you anymore? You're going nowhere in life, and it is ridiculous. You complain about not being able to get a job but you have so many piercings and bright red hair. You won't get hired at hot topic because you have no experience, so get that out of your head. I understand you're depressed, but get your head out of your ass and do something with your life instead of sitting on tumblr and writing fanfiction, and then replying to mean annons and making your self esteem go down farther. You wonder why you have no friends.

I don't know how I'm going to live without you, I miss you already. Wherever you are, if you are anywhere, I'm sorry for everything that I have done that caused you pain in your life. I should have been a better son, I know. If you're in Heaven, then have fun up there. Though I doubt the fact that you're up there. If you're in Hell, then I'll be seeing you in a few decades. I'm not a believer, but I'd like to think that you found the peace in the afterlife that you must have so desperately been looking for in your life. I hope you went out of this world peacefully, because as much as I've hated you over the years, I never wanted your death to be painful. But if I'm to be truthful, i was hoping you'd live so I could inflict the pain on you that you inflicted on me and the rest of your progeny over the years. Deny it as you might, you were a terrible father. A terrible, terrible father. You better, in whatever state you might be in, be praying to whatever god you really believed in that your other children forgive you, because I can't. I love you, in some ****ed up way, but I will never be able to forgive the way you treated me for 18 years. Never. I'm aware of how this message is getting very bitter, but it's what you deserve. I'm sorry I could never be the son you wanted.

You should see your wife right now. She is an absolute mess. Your passing has destroyed her. When you took those sleeping pills, did you think about what might happen to her? I should thank you for being such a hard worker throughout your life, because she doesn't have to worry about any financial problems. But that's all she has solace about, that's the only gift you've left her thus far. I didn't realize how much she loved you until now. I can only wonder how much you loved her back. I think you loved her more than anyone else in the world, I'll give you that. But you should have said goodbye to her, you should have left some parting message to her. Why didn't you? Why? WHY? She was your wife... now she's your widow. Think about that.

I think I'm almost done, I've said almost all that I've wanted to say to you thus far. Through these words, I have started the process of closure that I've been looking for all my life. I miss you, we all do. But it's time to try get past the hurt you put us through; it's time to turn the page. I think I'm done now, yes.

I really hate you, you know that. You took jabs at me when I was in the worst emotional state in over 3 years yesterday, you continue to torture me when I'm going through what feels like a psychological breakdown right now, you don't seem like you're going to listen to reason at this point but then again reason was never your strong suit to begin with but I'm tired. I'm tired of the crap that makes up who you are in a nutshell, I'm tired of everything you stand for no matter how outright retarded or insane and that's saying a lot coming from me, and most of all I'm tired of how you react when something doesn't end up going according to whatever plan you may have pulled out of your ass, I know I'm a hypocrite for saying that but you take it farther than I ever could. But I guess the only good thing about all of this is when I recover from everything that's happened I can forget about you like a bad hangover and I can move on with my life for once which is something that can't come soon enough now.

Dear Anon,
Its getting really lonely. I should probably do something about that shouldn't I? But you did take everything from me so what can I really do? Seeing you kills me yet I wouldn't be surprised if you laughed when you saw me and thought I was a waste of time. I'll prove you wrong and make you regret it.

Dear Anon,
I hope the investment will pay off, I've put way to much in for it not to.

I had to make a rather difficult choice recently between 2 women I was seeing at the time, ended up getting back together with you know who after I took care of some personal business. Call me an idiot but let's face it I'm in love with this woman despite everything that's happened and I'm content with my choice even if it kills me. I know you didn't care when I told you this before but it feels good to get this all off my chest for once.

Dear Anon,

If you don't help us get a replacement door soon you're a ****ing dead man.

Dear Anon,

I heard about what happened with you and Hunter and I just wanna say I'm sorry about that.

I was never supposed to fall in love. I thought love was for the weak. Until I met you, everything was normal. Now I am a reckless ball of emotions. I still have the bracelet you gave me... I don't think I can lose it. I seriously have no idea if you like me (Or maybe love me) or not. I am melting inside...

i know that life is so damn hard,who said it's easy anyway?...you reached this case not because you're a bad person..you reached that because what you saw in life was too much more than you can handle..i told you nothing is easy but suicide? SUICIDE? at least try to fix the mistakes DAMMIT when you fix what you did to yourself before anybody then you can think about sucide...but then again...i see you as a weak person..i didn't know you well i guess.

Dear Anon,

i'm sorry..again,it's easy to misunderstood me but is it that hard to ask me what i meant?...that's why i consider myself weird because all the time misunderstanding misunderstanding misunderstanding ...that i began to hate talking

Dear Anon,

things has to be fine sooner or later..it will..you know why?..because that's what we have to fight for..making things become better..it's hard but not impossible

yours,

someone who's tryng so hard

__________________

A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside remains the same.Brock – Pokemonღღღ

What part of "leave me on my own" don't you understand? I've been feeling so much better until you came around. >_>

Dear Anonymous,

I can't believe we're going to graduate together. OMG it's a month away and I am already nervous. We need to discuss plans and stuff. I know I bailed out on you guys last time, but I promise I won't bail again. It's June 2nd...it's summer for you guys probably. I'll be there, I will!

i'm sorry but i had to say that like this..it wouldn't work if i said it otherwise and better for you damn either for me to be like this....i know it hurts but..i'm just sorry..i had to.

Dear Ano,

you don't know how much pain you causing me,but it really hurts...i don't know how can i tell you or show you i don't know what to do anymore..but heart is began to feel tired now...i don't want to keep losing all my entire life dammit.

Dear Ano,

you act weird,you're taking what belongs to me,again and again...i don't know should i keep fighting or i'm just standing alone on this...you're not the same person at all,all the time you look forward to what i have and you do more than you could to have it and see the sad look on my face with a cold smile..why? why?..what did i do to you? it's been years did i ever did the same to you?..i won't because i'm better than you

yours,

Tired me

__________________

A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside remains the same.Brock – Pokemonღღღ

Dear Anonymous,
Everything was a lie. Everything. I was tricked by everyone. They're wrong. I said it, they're wrong!!
They're all liars!
You don't even know me anymore, probably. You've probably forgotten me. It's been almost two years...
They all lied about us. It just goes to show who to trust.

Dear Anonymous,
We met indirectly. You're just like me in many aspects. We're not much different, but... I guess everything's different now. Strange, isn't it? Strange, but true.

So strange that it's bothersome.
So strange that it's worrisome...
and so strange that it's hard to even handle.

The agony... and the fact that nothing will ever happen anymore. The world will have ended in that universe.
It's a sad story... a very sad story...

Dear Anonymous,
Stop. Please stop acting like this. You're going to make a fool out of yourself by being so two-faced and...ugh. Don't dig your grave, please? I try to be here for you and you go and call me a shallow full-of-myself...ugh. And how dare you call her 'catty' when you're the one causing problems with EVERYONE? Seriously. Stop. Or we will all leave you. And trust me: you could not handle that.

Dear Anonymous,
How the heck are you doing this to me? I never even thought of you this way before and now...I can't stop staring. I can't help but to want to talk to you, to....to...god, make it stop. I know everything wrong with this. I know what you are, and you know it to. Who you are. And even then...would you really like me? Maybe we aren't as different as I think sometimes. But what sucks more than anything is knowing that...even without all of that...without me, without you...you could still never ever even get close to liking me.

So why do I keep staring?

Dear Anonymous,
You kicked butt today.
We kicked butt today.
Can there be two solos, please?
xD
I swear if that happens...
I dunno.
We dun good.
May the best singer win.
;)

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