dream?

you know, sometimes i wonder, why is it that my life just doesnt live up to what a 17 year old girl should be living up to. im not smart, neither am i really outgoing, i dont have a boyfriend, i technically dont have real true friends either even tho i really cherish my friends but, why is it that im not what would like? i dont bitch as much as i used to and i dont act as much of a bitch i was. sometimes i wish i could just live in a dream where people actually appreciate me and love my company. i wish i controlling my life like how i can control my dreams.