What's wrong with
the picture below? A mother sitting at the table, a few cups
and plates on the table, stroller, chairs....
not much but she was reprimanded by the Carr Mill Security
force for an infraction which up to this point in time had
been relatively unknown to the thousands of Weaver Street
patrons.

Sure. We all know
it's wrong to dance on the grounds and that Hoopers were on
the verge of having their rhythmically gyrating hips permanently
banned, but what could the infraction in the picture possibly
be? If you were a good patron of the Carr Mill/Weaver Street
United Meeting Place and Town Center you would take the time
to read the "Weaver Street/Carr Mill Governing Rules
Handbook", a 200 page pamphlet(freely distributed by
Weaver Street at the Courtesy Desk) with 9,024 rules, ranging
from the relatively obvious to the completely obscure.

The picture above
clearly depicts that rule 8742(ii) is being violated. "Patrons
of Weaver Street Market Cafe may not double-up any square
metal, circular based tables in a direction perpendicular
to the building. Said square metal, circular-based tables
may be doubled up in a direction running parallel to the building,
if and only if said metal square circular tables are in direct
contact with the black roofpaper-like stuff below the windows.
Said square metal, circular-based cannot be touching in any
way, means or form the vertical aluminum support sections".

After being reprimanded
for doubling up the tables perpendicular to the building The
Carrboro News went to the Courtesy Desk and picked up a copy
of the regulations. Sure enough, it was a valid rule infraction
that we had infracted, and not some ridiculous infraction
made up on the spot by the Carr Mill Security Forces. Upon
being advised of the infraction, the Carr Mill Security Force
representative stated that the reason was that the doubled
up table was a liability to pedestrian traffic flow and could
cause massive human pile ups as groups of people would pile
up as they had to divert from walking 5 abreast to only 3
abreast so they could pass the infraction ridden doubled up
table.

Not to sound like
we were nit-picking, but this rule appeared to be somewhat
ridiculous, even if it was written in the Governing Rules
Handbook. Normally, The Carrboro News would leave it at that,
since any further investigation would waste our time, but
something struck a raw nerve here. If an infraction affects
someone else, then reporting is good enough, but if it affects
us personally, then an investigation is called for.

We called in a
good friend who happened to be a Pedestrian Flow expert to
come down to Weaver Street and look at the set up. We reenacted
the crime, carefully doubling up the tables in the exact same
spot as we had the first time. The Pedestrian Flow expert,
meticulously viewed the crime scene from every angle, using
his expertise to see if he could visually imagine groups of
5 abreast pedestrians bottlenecking at the table. His final
report was a revelation to all, even those who never even
thought of the ramifications of doubling up tables and the
possible results.

"I see absolutely
no problem with the traffic flow." He began, rubbing
his chin very much like a psychiatrist examining his hypochondriac
patient for the first time. "People coming out the door
will be entering the exterior walkway in single file as they
can only walk out the door in single file, while people walking
down the walkway can only walk two abreast or they run the
risk of the third person bumping into the massive wood support
columns every 10 feet. Once they arrive at the infractured
table, there is room to walk 3 abreast, so there is clearly
no restrictive tendencies of doubling up. As a matter of fact,
the doubling up of tables actually helps the traffic flow.
With only singled up tables pedestrians can walk four or five
abreast. When they arrive at the door they must break down
into single file- this is a PBR(Pedestrian Breakdown Ratio)
of 4:1 or 5:1, clearly having the potential of causing a major
bottle neck at the door. In most cases when planning Pedestrian
walkways we like to work with a PBR ratio of 2:1.

"If the pedestrians
are coming from the direction of the shopping carts and are
walking 2 abreast(or 3 with one pedestrian hitting the massive
wooden supports every 10 feet), once they arrive at the door
we have a PBR of 2:1(which is acceptable) or 3:1 which is
marginally so, but if they continue to go straight past the
infractured table we have a PBR of -2:5(or -3:5). This can
cause a very dangerous situation as negative PBR's tend to
lead to confused pedestrian traffic flow patterns.

"Therefore,
it is my view that the problem actually lies in the tables
being single-upped and to rectify what could have grave pedestrian
flow consequences, my suggestion is to permanently double
up the tables along the southeastern front facing wall the
the Weaver Street Market building."

Please vote below
so that we can send a message to Carr Mill that protest the
inability to double up tables.