Freshman lawmaker Ray Scott, who earned a reputation this year as a quick wit and class clown, had lawmakers howling with his “Lessons I’ve Learned” newsletter.

My favorite: “Freshman are allowed a maximum of 30 seconds at the mic before being told to shut up.”

This one, too: “Committees are for spending time in the hall, texting or catching up with family.”

Scott, a Grand Junction Republican, took particular delight in teasing his good buddy and fellow House colleague, Mark Waller[3], a Colorado Springs Republican.

Here’s what Scott wrote:

This has been one hell of a ride and I am grateful to everyone that helped me understand what a huge task it is to govern. Except Waller. The help given to freshman was amazing from everyone in our caucus. Except Waller. Learning all the procedures is difficult at best and without your guidance and true leadership, except Waller, I would have never made the transition.

As a freshman you instantly learn that your senior peers do the following;

1. Never be in the chamber until after the pledge
2. Always be in the back of the chamber talking loud enough that you never have to hear who’s in the well.
3. Freshman are allowed a maximum of 30 seconds at the mic before being told to shut up
4. The video cameras are in the Chamber only for those running for re-election or the Senate
5. The only good bill is not yours
6. Thirds mean stay at your desk while seniors make you wait 10 minutes for each vote
7. Being absent is temporary
8. Committees are for spending time in the hall, texting or catching up with family
9. Division means run for the exits and make the freshman stand at the desks for photo ops.
10. Tell you great bill for amusement but if it is they steal it
11. Don’t marry it but carry it unless it’s mine
12. Sign my bill but I will think about yours and let you know

Thanks again for all the help, except Waller. It’s been a hoot. Not really.

Please delete all my contact information as I will be changing it for the summer and growing a beard, spending time with (Democrat Roger Wilson) and (Democrat Randy Fisher) to learn the finer points of floor work and making jam at a Monastery in Spain. I have also signed up for Senator Morse’s how to collect per diem classes and will publish my first book titled “It’s For The Children Stupid”.