Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.

I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips.
Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his
hand and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7.
He said, "No, no. A jazz chord."
I did a little improvisational thing, but he didn't like that either.
"No, no, no! A jazz chord. You know, 'A jazz chord, to say, ah love you.'"

IDIOTS ON THE ROAD
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe
to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged coworker of mine(a blonde), when she asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
She responded, appalled "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F _ _ _-UP!" For a moment,
everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely
lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because
he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired
before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved
"Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a fxxk-up!"