My blog is about living in America,and my view on everyday issues.
My contact is newdawn9th@gmail.com

Search This Blog

Follow by Email

Thursday, January 21, 2016

MARRIAGES IN DIASPORA

Unah doh oo, my people. Remember in my last post I said I will talk about 9ja guys that travel back home to marry,chei? Ok! My co-Nigerian worker traveled 2 weeks ago to get married. I was aware when he was making the arrangement on the phone, since we work at night, it was very convenient for him.

When I was in Nigeria, and saw our 'brothers' coming to marry, and claiming that the Nigerian ladies in obodo oyibo 'don tear eye finish!' They say all sort, that, the picture they paint in ones head is not attractive at all! Since I arrived here four years ago, I can boldly tell you guys that, it is all hogwash!!!! It is like how some men say, Lagos girls don spoil finish and travel to the village to marry. But we that live in Lagos, knows that, it is not true! Just as there are 'opios' there are equally decent ladies. Same applies here, 'werey' girls dey and responsible ones also dey! It all depends on the guy's lifestyle and personality! SHIKENAH!

So, as I was saying o jare, I asked him why choose a bride from Nigeria, when there are many Nigerian babes here who already knows how the system works? Or go for a matured lady who will not give birth again? I told him, any lady that will accept his proposal back home with his baggages, is doing it for solely one reason, which I believe he knows! Because one of the ladies that agreed to his proposal is working in a very good company that her income is something to whistle about! He later borrowed himself sense and didn't purse the proposal further. He later got another lady in his village, who is in her late 20's and he is right there doing the needful.

He replied that, the Nigeria ladies here are fiercely independent, so he will have little control over them. And since his job is only night, she will be doing day, there will be no time to bond well. Also, he wants to have a 'root' back home because he plans relocating in future. Most importantly, he wants a faithful wife because his ex-foreign wife cheated on him several times, before he divorced her.

WOW! I exclaimed! The typical average-self-center- Nigerian man thinking! CONTROL! I laughed and asked him, 'So, the new wife nah ears nah no go grow again ba? Abi she won't later learn how things are done here? 'Ehen, before she will become exposed to the way of life here, I would have had more control over our marriage, and she is not coming over immediately,' he replied. And you want to have your own Nigerian children since your mixed children will not follow you to Nigeria abi? (I kept that thought to myself}. And what assurance do you have that she will be faithful to you? Afterall, you will be visiting her once or twice a year. He shrugged and said she won't. SERIOUSLLY??? HAS THIS GUY BEING LIVING UNDER THE STONE??? (This thought, I kept to myself again!) And will you be faithful to her? He grinned. I see! The Nigerian ladies here are good for satisfying your lust, but not for marriage! (Another personal thought.)

The real truth is that many Nigerian ladies living here, avoid Nigerian men with baggages, because they know, he will be paying child support depending on his income and they might end up spending more of their income in the home. And some exes don't always remain ex, with the excuse of visitation rights, they can have a quiet affair and she might be asking for financial help from him to either pay rent or buy groceries or pay bills, which he cannot refuse because his kids are living with her. The wives from Nigeria, will come over and find out that the man's financial status was just a smoke screen and she is like a 'prisoner' in her matrimonial home! Her attitude will change, there will be constant quarrel and another divorce or death will happen! A Nigerian wife relocated to meet her new hubby, was shocked to see he was a cab driver! She felt insulted! Because he 'baffed' her with money whenever he visited. She finished her Nursing school, got a job, and divorced him, after making his life hellish!

My suggestion is that, if you don't have a fiancee in Nigeria before relocating, marry the Nigerian ladies abroad! There are both good and bad women, as there are bad and good men! It depends on each party involved! We attended a wedding between a Nigerian and Ghanaian in 2014, they celebrated the birth of their daughter in 2015. A divorced elderly Nigerian man wanted a wife badly, someone suggested getting him one from Nigeria, he declined, that he dId not have the time, strength and money for the process, he was introduced to a lady in another city, she relocated to meet him and they are married.

P.S .It is because our Nigerian men don't marry our women here, some travel back to Nigeria to look for husbands! And as expected, the men marry them for the obvious reasons, get here and wahala will start, because he wants control as THE MAN OF THE HOUSE! #yimu!#! But the wife will resist, and we know the rest abi? SIGH!

Okay guys, that is my thought on marriages abroad, next week, I will tell you what a guest did to his host! Bye-bye. Have an enjoyable weekend.

p.s.s. As I was sourcing for image to use, I came across this interview on Nigeria marriages abroad. It said it all. http://www.gistmania.com/talk/topic,29653.0.html