Dec. 8, 2017 – Step by Step

Today, Step Nine suggests that I atone for the damage of my drinking after I determine if people owed amends are in a place in their own lives to accept them. The wisest measure may be in the Ninth Step’s qualification that amends not be made – not immediately – if they compound the initial injury or hurt other people. If I determine honestly that some people who are owed amends cannot or should not yet receive them, I must also understand I am not off the hook. I can offer a gesture if none other than getting and staying sober and working the program’s steps to build a new character for others to see. As for people to whom I can offer direct amends, I must also be on guard not to grovel or beg for forgiveness if my apology is rejected. For we do not bow before anyone in shame or guilt. As such, I cannot allow myself to be made the proverbial doormat for the wrongs to people to whom I owe amends. Today, fully respecting the integrity and intent of the Ninth Step, I need first to determine that I can offer immediate amends and, if I can, to guard against becoming their kicking post. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2017