My Greatest Day of Coaching﻿

Guest Article by Jon Barth

The day we beat one
of the premier teams in our area for the first time in 11 years was NOT my
greatest day of coaching.

The day we
completed our third upset in four days, after starting the season 0-8, to claim
a 3rd place plaque in one of our tournaments was NOT my greatest day of
coaching.

The day we won the
school’s first Regional championship in 18 years was NOT my greatest day of
coaching.

Without a doubt, I
enjoyed those days. But the warm fuzzy feelings they produced have faded away.
There is another day which had a much greater impact on me.

It was near the end
of a rough season. Not only did the losses greatly outweigh the number of wins
during this season, but the culture and chemistry of our team were in shambles.
Bickering and blaming were commonplace. I even asked our principal to help me
address the team’s dysfunctional behavior.

According to some
of my players’ parents, it wasn’t my job to help our players improve their
character. My only job was to win games. I believe in order to compete at our
highest potential and win games, we have to exhibit strong character when times
are good, but especially when they are bad.

But more
importantly, my first priority was to make my players better people. And in
that situation, I determined I needed to take action as the leader of our team
in order to build a more positive culture.

I decided I needed
to hold certain players accountable to the standards of our basketball program
and take away their starting positions and cut their playing time. I had tried
to send a message in this manner at previous times in my coaching career.
Sometimes the kids responded and improved their level of effort, teamwork, and
performance. Sometimes the response was not so great.

Let’s Talk

I had two of the
players ask to speak with me the day after our team meeting where the principal
and I addressed the team. I met with each of them individually for over an
hour.

We didn’t talk
about improving their shooting form and we didn’t talk about getting in a
better stance on defense.

We talked about the
stresses they felt from their parents to perform. We talked about the pressure
they put on themselves to perform. We talked about ways I could change to coach
them better.

We talked about
life.

I will never forget
the compliment one of the players gave me that day. He said the biggest reason
he respected me was because of my willingness to listen to anyone, but still
make decisions according to my own principles and values.

During these
conversations, I learned a tremendous amount about these young men and I gained
a deep level of connection to them. Despite the challenges I faced coaching
these players, they hold the same special place in my heart as all the other
players I had the privilege to work with.

And these two
players made me a better coach and a better person. One of the things I learned
from the conversations that day is those young men were yearning for someone to
hear them. They had frustrations and they needed me to listen.

Not a Storybook
Ending

I wish I could give
you a storybook ending. I wish I could tell you we won the rest of our games
that year. In fact, we didn’t win any more games the rest of the season. And
following the next season, I was fired for not winning enough games and being
too focused on building character.

Do I have any
regrets as a high school basketball coach? Just one.

I regret I didn’t
have more conversations with my players like I did on that day. I wish I had
done more to actively show those young men how much I truly cared for them. My
greatest days of coaching were the ones like this when I coached the heart of
my players.

So how do we
improve our relationships and connections with our players?

I believe the first
step to being a better coach (or teacher, or parent, or leader, or human being)
is understanding our own story. It is important that we reach deep inside
ourselves to make sense of our own experiences so we can use them to fulfill
our greatest potential and impact the world.

My own
transformation has come through my quest to seek God’s purpose for my life and
become a better husband, father, son, brother, and friend.

I would like to challenge you to use The 1% Journal to harness the power of journaling and start writing your own story. When we reflect on our past experiences and look to the future with a vision of who we were created to be, then we can seize the opportunity to write our own story each day.

“Life is about finding the greatness we have inside and then giving it away to the rest of the world through the relationships and connections we create.”