South Dakota Shuts Down All North Korean Restaurants

The state of South Dakota has shut down the four North Korean restaurants located within the state.

PIERRE, South Dakota - In an unprecedented move that has not occurred in South Dakota since back in the 60s, the governor has issued a Governor's Directive closing down all North Korean restaurants.

A spokesperson speaking from the steps of the governor's mansion told the assembled media that the directive was issued as a direct response to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un firing off three missiles on Saturday.

The spokesperson identified as Dempsey D. Bittwiffen said that the governor thought long and hard on the matter and only decided to shut down what amounts to four North Korean restaurants after he learned that they are owned by the Kim Jong Un family.

Bittwiffen stated that the general manager of the North Korean franchise restaurant chain Yang Kantanchow was asked if he supported his cousin Kim Jong Un's irresponsible decision to fire off three missiles.

Kantanchow responded by saying that he has always looked up to his cousin Kimmy and that if Kimmy felt that he needed to fire off three missiles for whatever reason then that it his right to do so.

SIDENOTE: The governor called in U.S. Federal Marshals who supervised the shutting down of the North Korean restaurant chain. Word on the streets of Pierre is that the restaurants are in the process of being sold to the owners of The Pompous Pizza Parlor national chain.

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