On Tap: The Mother Of All Conventions

Leaks from the Trump National Convention program committee have been guardedly sent to me by my disgruntled GOP friend.

Read carefully to be well ahead off the curve:

House Speaker Paul Ryan will lead the delegates in the Pledge of Allegiance as a reminder that he is strongly supporting a unified party. He will then be sent directly home. Donald Trump himself will give the keynote speech as the only worldly philosopher king in the hall.

Trump also will place his name in nomination. “I do what I do,” he will tell the delegates. “There is none better.”

A firing range is secretly being constructed under the main stage where delegates can collegially have a beer and shoot the lights out. .

Mega-billionaires Trump and Sheldon Adelson will have a half-hour-T V discussion on why casinos matter.

Louie Gohmert will host so-called Rage Rooms where angry old white guys can shout “Islamic Radical” and bust up papier-mache models of Hillary Clinton. Afterward they will be provided free DVD’s of an early Lawrence Welk TV program.

Trump is giving himself more pulpit time for a dead-on assault on isolating China. But there he goes again. China already has a wall.