Buddy Christ started a great thread that allowed us to share some of our acomplishments. My wife was reading the comments made about my "horn tooting" and said, in that way only she can, "Tell 'em some of the dumb shit you've done. Then they'll REALLY get some insight into who you are". And, as usual, she's right. Time to humble myself, and let you all know what a dumb-ass I really am.

-I once drove a very large front end loader over a telephone connection box in a parking lot. Knocked out the phone service for an entire neighborhood, and it took them three hours to repair it. One week later, I ran over the same box again.

-A few years ago, I was framing a room using an air nailer. I ended up nailing my hand to a two-by-four.

-For two years I pronounced the word "hyperbole" as "hyper bowl".

So now that you know how dumb I really am it's your turn. C'mon. Fess up. What are some of the bonehead things you've done.

- When traveling to Northern Italy it took me two days to figure out that the cities were inside of the big castle walls. At first I wandered around asking directions in Italian and not quite getting it.
- I have a habit of opening drawers and then running into them
- I have an interest occasionally to use the litter box, the problem being that I use one in my own room and get sick from the excessive ammonia
- When I turn a webcam on my clothes always magically come off
- As a child I tried all kinds of stupidly dangerous acts in order to commit involuntary suicide, after none of them did anything I gained the belief that some unseen force wouldn't let me die. I'm still bitter about that =p
- Occassionally I have gone blind and at those times I have walked home from school alone through traffic (whose stupid me or the nurses who let me do this?)
- I once played tennis for 8 hours without a bra due to my dad's insistance I not wear one (aaaaahhh x.x) It took two days for my chest to stop hurting.
- Before getting a plush tail of my own I would stick a tennis racket up my ass on camera (entertaining to the group at kittenplay =p)
- After my dad's discussion of me being a girl with his family I cut them off complete, and haven't tried to fix things for 9 years
- I refused to believe that boys and girls had different physiology until I was 10

I've done plenty more, but hey that's being human.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.

- When I was about 12, I put a shitload of rocks on the railroad next our home with my friends.
- When I was about 11-12, I shot trains from our yard with a homemade bow and homemade wooden arrows. Luckily wooden arrows don't penetrate train windows.
- When I was about 11-12, I was jumping on a trampoline with a friend, and we decided to do this: We'll hop at the same time and he'll kick my higher back so that I'll make a flip and land on the ground. It would have made it to FailBlog for sure.
- When I was about 12, we used all our money into energy drinks.
- Between the age 13 and 16(last autumm) I would drink at least 1 liter of cola per day, usually 1,5 liters. If I'd be one of my teeth, I would have commited suicide.
- Managed to get my 4th finger into a cutter last autumm. Didn't lose much though.

I blame age for most of that, so I'd say that the ''current me'' hasn't done alot of stupid stuff. But I still got plenty of years to fuck something up.

I once forgot to give out an order to drive-thru for 15 minutes and only realized it when the guy came inside asking where his food was. I discovered it was right behind me by the drive-thru window.

The second biggest mistake I've ever made at work was giving out the wrong snacker to an elderly lady. It ended up being a spicy buffalo snacker instead of a bbq one. She nearly vomited on the table. I felt so terrible I offered them as much free crap as they wanted T_T

Just last night I was stupid enough to think I could eat 10 ribs from Famous Dave's, knowing that my stomach doesn't digest meat well. I threw them up as punishment.

I accidentally stapled my finger, I was looking at the stapler and it went off into my index finger. It was a bitch to get out and my good friend was laughing at me hysterically the entire time.

I bought Purple Sticky Salvia out of a shop once, overpaid, and yeah... need not go further. Being curious is a very bad thing at times, especially when you're being curious and consciously know you're being stupid, yet do it anyways.

I spent the entire senior year of high school wishing that I could ask this one girl out, but not doing it because I thought she had a boyfriend. After high school, it was revealed to me that she was single the entire year because she was waiting for me to ask her out.

In the same year, my parents had a rule about me not getting rides from friends. I could go over to their house after school, but I had to ride the bus, because they didn't trust my friends' driving skills. I rode with them anyway. One day, they decided to stop off at GameStop on the way to the house, and I waited in the car. Damn good thing, too, because as soon as they had gone inside I saw my entire family walking out. If I had gone in with them, I would have been ridiculously busted.

I once mistook green jalapenos for cucumber slices and at a handful in one bite (I love cucumbers). It was then that I discovered that I had inherited my father's intolerance for spicy foods, and spent the next half-hour vomiting into the nearest toilet.

I thought The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was something like an atlas or encyclopedia, not a novel.

"Owl," said Rabbit shortly, "you and I have brains. The others have fluff. If there is any thinking to be done in this Forest - and when I say thinking I mean thinking - you and I must do it." - A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

I married a guido with no soul.
When I was 12 or so I went to band camp. (yes really) We drove like 3 or 4 hours to get there only to find out that I had left my clarinet at home. My father was not happy about having to drive back to get it.
I've driven purposely into several total whiteout blizzards.
I moved to Texas (although the reason was very valid, and worth it)
When I went to Spain at age 16, two friends and I met 3 Italians. We went to their room and made out for a bit. We decided this was a poor idea, so we bailed. A couple hours later I woke up to one of them staring me in the face.
Last year I took my husband to take his driving test, and I brought an out of date insurance card for my car.
I got pulled over for driving 67mph in a 40mph zone. The next week I was pulled over for 65 in a 35. A couple of years after that was when I passed the ambulance with its lights on. Without pants.
I took LSD once when I was already very sick. It did not help one bit. A person can vomit a lot. :/
The first time I got really drunk was on a high school band trip. I drank so much that I puked and blacked out multiple times. I remember waking up at one point with my head in the toilet, asking my friend, "why is my hair all wet?!?" I had to play a concert the next day.
I rear ended someone because I was screwing around with my radio.
I shot an air rifle with the scope too close to my eye and ended up with stitches in my face.

My reason for being is to serve as a cat cushion. That is good enough for me.

Trill > I feel it nescessary for you to explain the "no pants" story. No Pants Stories are the best! (I have a few of my own. I could probably fill this forum with my dumb-ass stories, and dedicate a whole section to No Pants Stories)

-If I had stayed one more year in Air Cadets I could have gotten my pilot training for free. I never did get it. I quit Air Cadets because I was sick of being bullied.
-Had a relationship and fell in love with a married woman. Baaaaad idea.
-Was involved in network marketing, twice.
-Tried jumping a bicycle over a dirt pile and landed on a curb almost breaking my right arm.
-Fell out of a tree almost breaking my collarbone.
-Suffered two shoulder seperations due to falls.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Richard Dawkins comes to me, speaking words of reason, now I see, now I see.

- When I was in junior high school my friends and I used to burn trash cans.
- When I was 15 I got lost in Beijing for almost a day because I didnt follow the group.
- I almost puked on a girl when I was drunk during my graduation party.
- When I was in college my friends and I used to hit pedestrians with a door mat while we were in a car.
- Also we used to shoot to other cars using home-made slingshots.
- I got in a brawl with a guy dressed as Santa Claus in 2002.
- I used to do a lot the "fire in a hole" prank on drive-thru restaurants.

"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world.”-Georgia Harkness."La fe es patrimonio de los pendejos. (Faith is patrimony of the dumbfucks)."-Diego Rivera