Why Do We Hate Gwyneth Paltrow?

I think we can all agree that Gwyneth Paltrow is a silly goose. She "writes" (or peruses over her morning chai latte while an assistant lies prostrate before her) a newsletter, GOOP, that's supposed to relate to us, the working moms and women of the world. The regular folk, like her! Who might be interested in purchasing an "ultra-masculine" $600 briefcase for the man in their lives, or a $400 pair of platform boots — you know, for when it's all icy out! Perfect for when you're scraping your windshield first thing in the a.m.

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As you may have heard, in her recent newsletter, a frazzled working mom is given "advice" on finding balance from Gwyneth and her two equally clueless and obscenely wealthy friends. It's a pretty outrageous and unintentionally hilarious piece of work, but the anti-Gwyneth rage that's emerged as a reaction is leaving me feeling...icky. Apparently we've all, collectively, been waiting to pounce on Gwyneth. On Gawker, commenters hissed, "Someone needs to punch her in the mouth repeatedly" and "SHE IS AN ELITIST MORON." This seems to be the general consensus across much of the Internet.

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Okay, so maybe it wasn't in the best of taste to have her super-rich friends give advice to a (probably) middle-class struggling mom. (Although I'm still dazzled by the following tidbit, offered by venture capitalist Juliet de Baubigny: "I was given an amazing present of a makeup lesson with Wallet Lubrich. She taught me how to do my daily makeup in 5 minutes." Scott, please: we must have another child, and name her/him/it Wallet. Imagine it! Little Wallet!) I can see how this could annoy people; I can see how they'd laugh at it. But the rage! The loathing! It seems so out of proportion. And to be fair, her message wasn't "Do what we do, and you, too, will find balance," but rather, "We, the following three fancy rich women, face the same challenges, and here's how we deal with them." Some of it's silly, sure, but is it really worth hating her for?

I never thought I'd find myself defending Gwyneth, but there's something sweet about her newsletter. She's trying, is the thing. She reaches out by sharing her thoughts and observations, and so what if her thoughts and observations are utterly wackadoo? She's not forcing us to follow her every directive.

If anything, we should be pointing fingers at Gwyneth's editorial staff. No one should have let that Juliet de Baubigny woman go on at such length about her wardrobe spreadsheets and her fun quarterly get-togethers with her gal pals. I'll take Gwyneth over that piece of work any day.