Monday, November 24, 2008

i ski at ninety-nine miles an hour and i drive like a maniac sixteen-year-old. i have three different kinds of water boards and an obsession with the perfect wave. i chase information, i write stories fifteen minutes before deadline and sprint across campus to turn in my thirty-second-late papers.

i never sleep.

i want boys i can't have, clothes i can't afford and i will fucking out-snipe you on eBay. i email nine people at once and i have five news tabs on auto-refresh--at least.

i am caffeine.

i chase roller coasters.

i talk too fast.

i want the rush. papersargumentsheightsspeeddepthfreefallcoffeedeadlinesoutofcontrolcrazyitisspinninganditiswild.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

So The Blonde with Hot Librarian Glasses is my current roommate. (Yes, I realized it was stupid to name The Awesome Roommate as such because while she is still awesome, she is not still my roommate. I guess I could change her name to The Awesome Thursday Morning Breakfast Buddy. Let that be noted.)

Anyway, The Blonde is a highly HIGHLY intelligent person. She kicks my ass in math. She is also...from Texas. For the sake of preserving warm and fuzzy roommate feelings, we try not to discuss politics that much, but the past few months have forced us to break the rules.

Conversation that took place yesterday (please try to keep in mind the part where she is HIGHLY INTELLIGENT I SWEAR.)

"OHMYGOD I can't believe he's going to appoint Hillary Clinton as the Secretary of State!!"

"I mean...she's smart. And she's bitchy, which is kind of a pre-req. Oooooh did you buy CHEESE?"

"Yeah, I'm making melty cheesy dip."

"SWEET."

"But seriously, like, whatever...ow ow ow cheesy salty stuff in paper cut---if Hillary is secretary of state, we are going to get attacked SO FAST."

"I don't know...would YOU fuck with Hillary Clinton? Because I wouldn't."

"Neither would Bill. Heh. Anyway, she's a woman! Our key diplomacy is with ARABIC COUNTRIES. Are they going to even LISTEN to her? Plus, Clinton Clinton was a pussy--they'll remember that. Can I use some of your jalapenos?"

"SPICY CHEESY DIP! You can have a jalapeno if you answer one question: Who is our current secretary of state?"

Monday, November 10, 2008

You know how something that's only semi-funny strikes you at a time when it is unbelievably inappropriate to laugh, like at a funeral or when you're in the course reserves, and thus becomes EXPONENTIALLY funnier?

I forgot to acknowledge the 5th of November V for Vendetta style. (my transcript of Valerie's thoughts was early). Oh the nerd shame.

If I were a stupid idealistic college student drawing grandiose parallels, I might point out that the reason I forgot was because Barack Obama was giving his victory speech at midnight on what was, incidentally, the fifth day of November. And by 12:30 I was busy being part of a mob. A loud cheering screaming chanting trampling mob. Mobs can be difficult up here in the boonies, because there is really nowhere to go, but we managed, by descending on the president's house. Security was peeved, but he's pretty chill and acquiesced to the rather inexplicable demand that he make a speech. (He managed to satisfy the crowd without actually making a partisan statement. Brilliant. That's why he's the president of the College.) The Hanover police, who were thrilled to have something to do came and broke up the mob, which fragmented into a fraction that went to get drunk and faction that went to get cheese fries at food court.

It was great. (Really shit video) I didn't finish my Spanish homework, and I do not regret it, and when I'm forty, I will say I was an idiot.

However.

""We are told to remember the idea, not the man. Because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten."

Thursday, November 06, 2008

This was posted as a scandalous item but I think it's fucking awesome. I would also like a sound byte of Obama saying "fucking" because I think that would be amusing, considering his demeanor.

* The debates unnerved both candidates. When he was preparing for them during the Democratic primaries, Obama was recorded saying, "I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I fucking changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'." *

Saturday, November 01, 2008

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations," Palin told host Chris Plante, "then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

If anything, Palin has this exactly backwards, since one thing that the First Amendment does actually guarantee is a free press. Thus, when the press criticizes a political candidate and a Governor such as Palin, that is a classic example of First Amendment rights being exercised, not abridged.

This isn't only about profound ignorance regarding our basic liberties, though it is obviously that. Palin here is also giving voice here to the standard right-wing grievance instinct: that it's inherently unfair when they're criticized. And now, apparently, it's even unconstitutional.

According to Palin, what the Founders intended with the First Amendment was that political candidates for the most powerful offices in the country and Governors of states would be free to say whatever they want without being criticized in the newspapers. The First Amendment was meant to ensure that powerful political officials would not be "attacked" in the papers. It is even possible to imagine more breathaking ignorance from someone holding high office and running for even higher office?