Alma 29:9

"I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yeah, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy."

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Wow. What a week. I don't even know where to begin. It was really rough at the get go, but it ended on a very high spiritual note.

But real quick. Sister Taunima told me about an analogy having to do with missions that I felt was very fitting. "Serving a mission is like walking through a rose bush." And truer words were never spoken. (There's some food for thought ;))

Oh my heavens I felt so spoiled on my birthday. The package was practically perfect and I loved everything in it. THANK YOU!! I definitely felt so very loved. So for dinner, we ate with the Greenway family, and they were sweet enough to make me a cake. It was delicious! One of their daughters made me a crown (see picture). It was so adorable! Sister Taunima also fed me cake...ha ha it was quite hilarious ;)

August 23rd meant three things this year: 1. I turned 20 years old; 2. It has been 3 years since my brain surgery; 3. I have been on my mission for 11 months. It is crazy that all of that ended on the same day. I can't believe I'm 20. Out of the teens officially. Craziness. And the fact that I am three years tumor free? That's amazing. I literally could not be more grateful. Looking back at these past three years, my life is forever changed because of them. If I had been called back to my Heavenly Home three years ago, I would not have been able to experience what I have. I am such a different person because of what I have gone through. And He knew. He knew my work wasn't done and there was more I needed to do. So here I am. 11 months in, and it's hard to believe I've been on my mission that long.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Elder Anthony D. Perkins of the Seventy and his wife came this week (as well and Elder Peter Meurs and his wife) and we got to spend 4 days straight with them. It was incredible and so very needed.

On Thursday we had our big meeting with half of the mission up in Cranberry, PA. I learned so much from them, it was amazing. A few of the things I took away from it: - Every church meeting we attend should be a revelatory experience. - While I am on my mission, I need to cherish this time that I have--especially the time I have to study in the mornings. I'll never have that again. - "The best new ideas come out of old books." (AKA the scriptures and Preach My Gospel) - Revelation comes while you are on the move. - Finding is partly about technique, but it is mostly about faith. - It is at the end of the road of a difficult trial that beautiful things happen. - Each day I need to ask myself, "Am I going to be a full-time representative of Jesus Christ today, or a part-time representative?" I got many promptings through the Spirit of things to gradually implement in my missionary work. And there were other moments where I felt like everyone else had disappeared and they were just talking to me. I know God knows me and is so aware of me. Like I had mentioned before, I got to sing "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul" and it turned out beautiful. It was such an honor to sing with some of the best voices in the mission. And the Spirit was definitely felt. Sister Taunima and I got called on to do a role-play in front of everyone. When he called our names my heart just sank and started beating a million miles a minute. We role-played the Plan of Salvation and the senior couple who posed as our investigators gave us a run for our money. Needless to say, it was rough. But we survived. And I was reminded I have a lot to work on. But it's alright, I'll take it one thing at a time. (One more thing: we sang "Hope of Israel and Elder Meurs led it. But he made two small adjustments. For the line ,"rise in might" we sang it with a crescendo, and on "watch and pray", we sang it double-time and sang it reverently. It was beautiful! I was amazed that two small alternations could change the power of the song.)

Friday was our MLC meeting in Pittsburgh. President and Sister Johnson, Elder Perkins and his wife were there as well as Elder and Sister Meurs. It was one of the most powerful meetings I have ever been apart of. The Spirit was so strong and I learned so much. We set goals for things we can focus on with our elders and sisters. I'm so excited! Good things are happening.

Saturday: Anne was chosen to receive a visit from Elder Perkins and President Peterson (our stake president), and she invited us to be there at the same time. It was so neat!! Anne was just on cloud 9, which was so amazing to see that. She has come so far, and I know the Lord has amazing things in store for her. During the adult session of general conference, there was a moment where I couldn't tell you who was speaking or what was being said, but I felt an overwhelming sense of God's love. I immediately started writing thoughts and impressions that came to mind, and I wanted to share them with you: God's love is REAL. It is beautiful and tangible. It is changing my life. As I have felt I so real in my darkest and lowest moments, I have felt the light that comes with His love. Love has found me there. And it will always find me there, where I am, wherever I am. "His love will find you and gently lead you from darkest night into day." (Hymn no. 117)

Sunday we had a wonderful session of stake conference in which the Spirit was felt and it just added to the spiritual feast.

Being able to spend the past four days feasting and being taught by President and Sister Johnson, Elder and Sister Perkins was just phenomenal. It was so needed, I can't even tell you. A spiritual feast, and I have been filled. I didn't want this weekend to end.

Mom, Dad, Cameron, and Brenden: This place, this beautiful state will always hold a huge place in my heart. I love it so much. It is here that I have felt the lowest valleys and highest peaks. It is here that I am coming to realize how desperately I need my Heavenly Father. It is here that I am coming to know Him and my Savior Jesus Christ on a personal level. It is here that I am experiencing true conversion. This place, this ground, will always be sacred to me. These past 11 months, as hard and trying as they have been, could not have been more beautiful and sacred...I wouldn't trade it for anything this world has to offer.

Monday, August 22, 2016

This week has been amazing. Some amazing things happened this week, and I've been dying since Tuesday to tell yinz about a few of them!!

So Monday night, we started our exchange with the sisters serving in Washington, PA. I am amazed how incredible these sisters are that we serve with--they are truly amazing. I feel so blessed to work with them, serve them, grow with them, and learn from them! I'm beginning to see that although this calling is challenging and its stretching me like none else, it is so rewarding. Hmmm. Sounds like missionary work in general.

On Tuesday, we had planned to try to contact some potential investigators, so we took Anne with us to do that (oh I was with Sister Durrant by the way; she's from Idaho). One potential we tried didn't answer their door, so we knocked on the house next door. They weren't interested, so we walked to the house on the other side. We opened the gate and this young boy who was in the yard started talking to us. I'll give yinz the play-by-play. (Factually first, then I'll add in all the things I was feeling)

Boy: "Why is you here?" Me: "Well, we are missionaries--is your mom or dad home?" Boy: "Sure." **pauses to stare at my nametag and then reads it** "Jesus Christ...I love Jesus! And I love God!" Runs inside. Grandma comes out. "Yes? Can I help you?" Me: "Hi! We are missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--" The grandma interrupts and says,"Stop right there. Not my church." The little boy pipes up and asks, "What do you do?" Me: "We teach people about Jesus Christ and His gospel." Boy: "I wanna learn!" Grandma: "Okay, well you can sit out here and talk to him." She goes inside and we sit on the porch and start to talk to him. We found out he really does love God and Jesus Christ and his name is Tyler and he's 11. Surprisingly, we were able to teach him the Restoration (as simply as we could) using the pamphlet. After we taught him about Joseph Smith, he sat back and said "Wow. I have goosebumps!" Sister Durrant said, "Yeah, you're feeling the Spirit." I said, "Tyler, how are you feeling right now?" He said, "I feel good. Really good!" We continued to teach him and introduced the Book of Mormon. He said, "Wow, I wish I could have one of those." Sister Durrant: "This one is for you--it's yours to keep!" His eyes got real wide and his mouth dropped open. He said, "Sweet! That's rad." He said we wanted to start reading it right then. He also asked. A few times, "When are you coming back?" We told him we could come back next week. We asked him to pray to end our lesson and he did. In it he said, "I just feel so good right now." We snapped a picture and we left. I was on cloud nine.

Holy cannoli guacamole. The Spirit was SO strong during this lesson. I got teary-eyed when I saw how sensitive to the Spirit he is and how he was feeling it--especially at his young age. I know it may seem like a small thing to you guys, and you had to be there to even see a sliver of the picture I'm trying to paint...but it really was amazing!

(Insert side note: We met his mom last night....and found out his name actually isn't Tyler. It's Jace. Ha ha...and his mom...well, they're Christian and when he was asking if he could keep meeting with us, she wasn't very happy about it and kind of reluctant...but she agreed...we just aren't sure how far it will go. Pray for him and his mom please!

Wednesday we helped Anne pack up some things because she is getting ready to move (she will still be within our area, so all is well.) She was asking us questions about the temple and how to prepare. She is so excited to go! And I am so excited for her!! I am seriously SO temple trunky though. I admit it. But I am so excited for her nonetheless.

On Saturday, we were trying to contact some people, and we knocked on this one door. A teenage boy answered and we asked for so-and-so (a family member of his I think). He said she wasn't there, so we asked him to tell her we had stopped by...yada yada...all that good stuff. I told him what we do as missionaries and asked him if he would be interested in us coming back and learning more. He (his name is Michael) said he would love that. I was very much guided by the Spirit, and I immediately started testifying of the Restoration. Surprisingly, he listened. I introduced the Book of Mormon and had him read Moroni's promise in Moroni 10:3-5. Promised him God would answer his prayer if he read the Book of Mormon and prayed to know if it's true. We are seeing him tomorrow evening and I'm really excited!! Missionary work is the absolute best.

On a humorous note, let me give you an inside scoop on what it's like to be a sister missionary sometimes...this scoop has to do with old men. We went to see a less-active member Brother Clopton. He lives in a nursing home and his roommate's name is Frank. Frank is in his 80's. So we saw them two weeks ago and had quite a humorous time. We are still laughing about it. Let me paint this picture for yinz. Brother Klopton was talking to Sister Taunima and telling her stories from the Bible about Jesus. I was sitting on the bed and Frank in his wheelchair...I was trying to intently listen and strain my ears to hear him...but then Frank would start talking to me. At one point he said, "I could marry you. You'd make a good wife." UM EXCUSE ME?And then was so adamant about us taking him out for pizza and we said we couldn't do that. He said, "It's so hard to schedule a date with you two! How're ya ever gonna find a man? How're ya ever gonna get married?" We told him that wasn't what we were focused on right now...He still didn't get it, but whatever. These older ladies would wheel into the room periodically and Frank would say, "Agh, get outta here! Unless you wanna be Mormon!" It was hilarious; I was dying. Still dying over it to this day. Welp, there's your scoop--haha!

This week, I've made a stronger commitment to avoid singing songs that aren't in harmony with my calling as a missionary. Let me tell ya, it's hard. Sometimes my favorite songs from home just pop up in my head and I want to jam out (*cough* Hunter Hayes *cough*). But I know I'm much better off when I refrain from doing so. So, I've chosen "I Need Thee Every Hour" as my go-to hymn when I need a diversion. It is definitely helping. But as I've reflected, I've been reminded of something. I not only need Him every hour, I need Him every second. Every moment of every day. And what a glorious promise it is that He will "not forget [us] . . . [He has] graven [us] upon the palms of [His] hands" (See 1 Nephi 21:15-16). As Brad Wilcox has stated about grace, "Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel. Grace is not achieved somewhere down the road. It is received right here and right now. It is not a finishing touch; it is the Finisher’s touch (See Hebrews 12:2)" (His Grace is Sufficient). His grace is very real and I am experiencing it day by day. I know that peace and comfort and strength comes when we fully rely on our beloved Savior and trust Him to support us every second.

I invite you to remember that this week and see how He is helping you through each day, second by second. And I promise as you turn to Him and recognize His hand, you will feel His grace ever more abundantly in your life. I love you so so much--more than you'll ever know, and I wish yinz a wonderful week!!! (Cam bam and lil' B (not so little anymore)--good luck with your first week back to school!! Go, fight, win!!)

Monday, August 15, 2016

I hope you had a great week! Life here in Pitt 3rd is pretty swell! (Except for me being sick with a cold the past few days...haha all is well, I'm starting to come out of it, so that's good.) Let me tell you about our week.....

Tuesday we went to find a potential investigator named Maria. We knocked, and the dogs started barking inside. (PS: the new definition of dogs--Pennsylvanian's doorbell ha ha) She came out and talked to us and we had a great conversation. She has such a strong faith in Christ. We shared a copy of the Book of Mormon with her and showed her the Hallelujah video (Hallelujah for Easter videos that never expire!! Woot woot!!). She got teary-eyed and I know she felt the Spirit. It was such a beautiful moment.

One of the evenings we had dinner with a couple in the ward, the Gigliotti's. Brother Gigliotti has been less-active for years, but his wife comes to church every week. After dinner we were sharing a thought, and he mentioned that he was mad at God because he didn't understand why He would let all these babies be infected with the Zikavirus. He said he didn't see God as a loving God because he was allowing this to happen. I felt the Spirit prompt me so strongly that I needed to share part of my story with him. I told him I don't have all the answers, and I don't know the reason why, but I went througha hard trial that caused me to ask why. I told him about my tumor and my experience of knowing even though God placed that trial in my life, He never left me alone. The Spirit was felt and after we left Sister Taunima said she's never felt the Spirit stronger in their home than during that dinner thought. I know my story touched his heart and helped him to see one instance where God was loving and kind. Hopefully he will begin to see more instances and his heart will be softened.

Hey hey hey! I survived my first exchange!!! Not to mention I had to "lead out the area" after only being there a week (meaning Sister Taunima left and I was left to navigate the area for 24 hours). It went really well!! We had zone training Wednesday morning and from there we switched companions. I got to be with Sister Simpson for those 24 hours. (Okay guess what?! She totally knows Jeff and Natalie Winder!! Her mom, Jennifer is good friends with Natalie and they were in the same ward before they moved! How crazy is that?! Small world!

Oh and here's a side note: The last week of this month, two members of the seventy are coming to our mission: Elders Anthony D. Perkins, and Peter Meurs. There are two big meetings happening Sister Johnson called me and asked me to sing in a musical number for one of the two big meetings happening. I feel so honored!! It will be a group of 4 sisters and 4 elders (Sister Schofield will be in it too!! I'm so excited!!). We are singing one of my favorite songs--"Savior, Redeemer of My Soul". The meeting will be for half of the mission (in Cranberry; the other half will meet in Harrisburg) and I can't wait!!

So after zone training on Wednesday, we dropped off the elders, and drove to contact a referral named Nanet. No one answered and we started walking away and then she came out of the house (not realizing we were there) and we about gave her a heart attack. But we talked to her for a minute and set up a return appointment. As we were walking away the first time, I thought Sister Simpson had pointed to her neighbors house to go try them, so after we talked to Nanet, I started walking over there. We knocked on the door, and a lady answered the door. We began talking, and found out her name was Sharon and she has a very strong faith in Jesus Christ. We introduced the Book of Mormon and gave her a copy. We had a great conversation and we set up a return appointment. I said, "Sharon, before we go, can we leave you with a song?" She said, "Of course!" Sister Simpson (she has a GORGEOUS voice--her major is vocal performance; go figure) and I sang "I am a Child of God" for her and she got all teary-eyed. The Spirit was felt and she was so grateful. Can I just say (I know yinz know this already but) I LOVE MUSIC. I love it for sooo many reasons but the longer I am out on my mission the more I love it for its beautiful power to invite the Spirit.

So yinz remember Anne who I mentioned last week? Well, on Wednesday after Book of Mormon class (when we were still on exchanges), we had a lesson with her. We had previously felt like we needed to ask her about her patriarchal blessing, if she had received one or not. We found out she had, but she didn't have a copy of it, so she hadn't read it in 5 years. We showed her how to request it online, and told her now she just needed to wait. Saturday she called to thank us, telling us "thanks to you, after 5 years I have finally read my blessing." It was awesome!! I am continually in awe of how God guides this work.

Which leads me to another thing I have been striving to focus on this week. It can be summed up in the following statement: let go and let God. I have this thing where I like to be the one in control. Definitely the natural man inside of me...and I'm working on it. I'm learning that in order to have complete trust in the Lord, you have to let go and let Him take control. It's something I am having to learn over and over again, but one of these days I'll get it...hopefully.This week I did see ways I can let go and let God. For example...

When a lesson falls through: let go and let God. When you're heart is pounding right before you talk to a stranger: let go and let God. When you are nervous to open your mouth, but you do anyway: let go and let God. When your investigator rejects your invitation to read the Book of Mormon and disregards your testimony: let go and let God. When you don't understand why some things happen: let go and let God.

It has become my motto as of late and I know this frame of mind will help me as I continue on through my mission and through the rest of my life. I am coming to know that profound peace comes into your life when you are willing to let go and let Him take the wheel and take over. I invite you to do the same: let go and let God.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Monday I said goodbye to Erin and her kids--they were by far the
hardest goodbye. I know I can keep in touch, it just won't be the
same. But like I said last week, I will always be one of her
missionaries and she will always hold a special place in my heart. ❤️Tuesday I said goodbye to Sister Morgan and it was hard to leave her
too. I know Beaver is in good hands though, and she will continue to
do great things there.

Tuesday we had transfers and I got to see some people I had served
around when I was in Sunbury. It made me so happy!! Then I got in a
car with another sister and we drove to my new apartment. I had to
drive through Pittsburgh for the first time which was tricky. But
we made it safe and sound (it only took about 30 minutes from the
Greentree chapel). I'm pretty close to the city! and oh my goodness can
I just talk about my comp for a second? I LOVE SISTER TAUNIMA.
I have been overwhelmed and exhausted at times throughout this week,
but she is keeping me sane, ha ha and laughing ALL THE TIME. I adore her!

Also, there is a trend for sisters that serve in this area...they are
typically here for 4 transfers, or 6 months. If this trend holds true,
I will be here until January. How crazy is that?! That is insane for
me to think about. Also that means at that point I would only have 2
transfers/3 months left on my mission. Time is flying WAY too fast.
Also. Telling people I have been out for 10 1/2 months is the craziest
thing. I can't believe I've been out that long. Time really is flying
so fast!

On Friday I went to my first MLC (missionary leadership council). It
was a super long meeting, but it was also super insightful and
inspiring. I gave input, and I learned a lot--from the speakers and
the Spirit. One thing I did find out (which is so crazy)--within the
next 3 months, we are having about 46 new missionaries come in (20ish
will be returning home) so 7 new areas are opening up in the mission.
This means that a lot of missionaries that just started training will
have to start training after only being out 6 weeks. Bless their
hearts.

A few things I learned and felt during MLC:
>> The thing that will be of the most worth to me will be declaring repentance (Doctrine and Covenants 15:6)
>> Particularly when you are using technology, your heart is the only real filter you have to help you to use it worthily and righteously.
>> It's not about changing your behavior, it's about changing your nature. If you followed good habits during your mission and don't continue them afterwards, you have not succeeded.
>> "The Lord calls us to be leaders . . . When you're called, you're called . . . You covenanted to give your all." (President Johnson)
>> The Lord had called me to this leadership calling for a reason. Don't doubt it. And don't doubt the power of your influence over the sisters you serve.

It really was a fantastic meeting. I felt very blessed to have spent
it with many of the best missionaries I've ever known and President
and Sister Johnson.

The Pitt 3rd ward is incredible. I already love our Bishop, Bishop
Snow. He is amazing. We met with him yesterday and he stressed to us
the good that we are doing. He also said something that really stuck
out to me: "Don't think that anything is insignificant. There is
significance everywhere." Everything he said, I needed to hear. I look
forward to serving with him and the other members of this ward.

So this week, I met this less-active named Heather. She struggles with
a lot of things, but I am already coming to love her. I know it's
because I can see myself in her and I just have an even stronger
desire to help her. Also because I can see her as Heavenly Father sees
her which has caused me to feel an outpouring of love not only for
her, but also the love that He has for me. We had two really powerful
lessons with her this week and I felt the love of God for her so
strongly. One thing that is amazing about being a missionary is that
He gives you His eyes for a second...so you can see and feel just a
GLIMPSE of the love He has for these people as His children. I saw and
felt it for Heather and myself. It was amazing.

Kay, another awesome thing--there's this less-active lady named Anne
in our are. She is amazing. About 6 weeks ago, after 16 years of not
going to church, she suddenly felt the need to go back to church. And
she has been faithfully coming and meeting with the sisters ever since
then. I love her so much. She kind of reminds me of Marianne Jenson,
ha ha 😉 I love her to death!!

It has been a roller coaster of a week, but I know I need to "Hope on.
Journey on." as Elder Holland says. Keep pressing forward. Christ will
be there to make up where I lack and carry me when I have nothing
left. And I know He does the same for you.

Remember who you are and that a sister in Pennsylvania ADORES you!!! I
hope yinz have a good week!!! ❤️

Monday, August 1, 2016

Happy August!! Can you believe it?! Where is the time going?! I
can't believe the boys will be starting school so soon!! But speaking
of summer, oh boy. I don't know if I could ever live in Pennsylvania
again during the summer. IT IS SO HOT. The humidity just makes you
melt, it's crazy. But it's still as green as green can be and
beautiful too!!

Before I tell yinz about anything else, transfer news!! I am leaving
Beaver 😭 and being transferred to the Pitt 3rd ward which is right
outside of Pittsburgh. My new address is: 378 Chapel Place,
Pittsburgh, PA 15235. I have been called to serve as a Sister Training
Leader or STL! I am very humbled by this calling, but I also am confident
it is straight from the Lord. And I know that He will help me fulfill it just like he
helped me fulfill the calling of a trainer. My new companion is Sister
Taunima who I LOVE TO DEATH. She has been one of my STL's for the past
two transfers, and so I went on exchanges with her at the beginning of
this transfer and had the best time. She is a terrific missionary and
I feel soooo blessed to get to serve and work with her.

My heart has literally broken as I've said goodbye to these amazing
people of the Beaver Valley Ward. Just like Sunbury, this became my
home and it's like leaving home and family all over again. It has been
so hard. Many tears of joy have been shed as I've reflected on the lifelong
friendships I've formed here. Because of Beaver, I will never be the
same. I feel indescribably grateful to have served here--it will
always hold a special place in my heart.

An amazing surprise from yesterday: As we were finishing up choir
practice before sacrament meeting, I noticed President and Sister
Johnson taking a seat in a pew in the congregation. It was like
Christmas morning seeing them there!! They got to meet Erin which
was practically a dream come true. Erin and her kids were there
yesterday which just made me so happy. And even though Maddie and
Eli were reluctant to start coming to church, they are
loving it! They have made so many friends--just what they needed. I
love them more than I could ever say.

Speaking of President, we had interviews on Tuesday, which were
wonderful. I don't know what it is, but I cry though every single one
of my interviews with President. My mission just makes me so
emotional. ;) He literally feels like my mission dad. He IS my mission
dad, ha ha. I love him so much. He said so many things that I
desperately needed to hear--I know that he is one of the reasons why I
was called to serve in this mission.

I've done a lot of reflecting and I've been praying a lot asking God
if I've done everything He needed me to while I was here in Beaver.
And I got my answer. I have done all that He needed me to. There are
other reasons I'm sure, but I know without a shadow of a doubt I was
here for Erin. I have done all I needed to do because I helped her.
Because I never gave up on her, I was an instrument in helping change
her life. From that first day here in this area when I met her and
cried on her front porch with her. And then I never gave up on her no
matter how many weeks went by without hearing from her. She was always
there in the back of my mind. And then we finally started meeting
with her and teaching her and her kids...her life will never be the
same now. She's getting baptized in two weeks and there's a chance
I'll be able to come back for her baptism. (Please please please pray
that I can!!) I hope beyond hope so, because I would be absolutely
over the moon. As hard as it will be to say goodbye to her and her
kids tonight, I know that I'll see her again. She will be one of my
dearest friends for the rest of my life. I will always be her
missionary. ❤️ She is one of the reasons why I was sent to Beaver. She
is one of the reasons why I was sent to the Pennsylvania Pittsburgh
Mission. She is one of the reasons why I am still alive. I needed to
meet her and help her. I love her and her kids more than words can
say.

Mom, Dad, Cameron, and Brenden--I love you all so much. And it's
because I love you that I'm out here. I get to be out here helping others
come unto Christ and be with their families forever, because I get to be
with YOU forever. This is true joy. Especially seeing Erin and her kids
prepare to be baptized--there is nothing that makes me happier. My heart
is literally overflowing. I absolutely love my mission and I have never felt
more joy in my entire life. I always want to be this happy.

"I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do
not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded
me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in
the hands of God to bring some should to repentance; and this is my
joy." (Alma 29:9)