'Hoarders' Creepy Doll Collector Provides Horror Flick Script

There are all sorts of things people hoard, but I can't imagine anything creepier than hoarding dolls. Scratch that, if someone hoarded clowns (real or fake), that would be creepier, but dolls come in a close second. On tonight's season premiere episode of Hoarders, we met Phyllis who had collected an insanely colossal collection of dolls in every shape and size -- the stuff of nightmares.

Now I know hoarding is a disease, and millions are affected by it, but how anyone -- no matter how ill -- could want to be surrounded by all those watching eyes is unfathomable. In fact, sanity might be impossible in such surroundings. While the other hoarder featured on the show tonight -- Janet -- had a house filled with human excrement and urine jars, it was still the dolls that were more horrifying.

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There were thousands and thousands of dolls -- upwards of 50,000 -- she'd collected from thrift shops over the years. When they piled them up outside, there were huge mounds of tangled body parts.

My 2-year-old has a lot of dolls, really pretty dolls, and they still freak me out at night sometimes. I can't imagine how Phyllis ever slept. Not to mention the fact that she routinely hacked apart some of them in her doll "hospital" where she amputated their limbs and performed transplants. That is the makings of a horror movie for sure, or at least a personal invitation for the dolls to come to life and attack her.

It's sad, as it seems Phyllis reverted to this behavior because she wasn't invited to her mother's funeral 14 years ago. She also clearly has some serious self-esteem issues going on as well as some unknown challenges. So in some strange way they provide comfort to her. "They make me warm, cozy, secure, and happy inside," she said.

I kept thinking if only they'd show her Child's Play, Chucky could perhaps scare her right out of her hoarding ways. No one seemed to think of that though.

In the end, with the help of a therapist and her sons, she parted with many of the dolls. She wasn't happy about it and will have to be watched to prevent her from getting more dolls, but ended up sending off at least two huge truckloads filled with her "friends." Where they were going, no one said, but my guess is to some big creepy doll graveyard that may be the only place more frightening than her house prior to the cleanup.