What to Do When You Like a Friend

What to do when you like a friend? Do you tell them or do you keep it quiet? Liking a stranger is confusing, but liking a friend is like stepping on a mine field, you never know what could happen until you take the next step, says the Super Kitty.

Are you confused over your feelings towards a friend? Do you think you like a good friend in a manner that’s more than just friends?

So what do you do when you like a friend? Here’s a complete guide on dealing with the confusing dilemma of liking a friend.

What to do when you like a friend

Perhaps you’ve loved this friend since the very first time you set your eyes on them, or perhaps “true love” blossomed out of your long friendship.

Now do you tell your friend about your crush, or do you just hold it in your gut, while another person whisks them away from right under your nose?

But even if you have to blurt it out, how are you supposed to know if the feeling will be mutual?

Or would you just turn invisible in this person’s life all said and done?

You reminded yourself that you’re just a friend every day, but at night, you could never fall asleep without kissing your pillow with this person’s name on your mind, and a limp smile on your lips. How touching, isn’t it? It seems straight out of a page of an old romantic novel.

Understanding what you feel

Sometimes, your affection towards a friend could be obvious from the start. Many people actually try to become a friend with someone they like only because they’re attracted to them in the first place. So are you one of them?

If this is the case, you’re obviously not being a friend to lend a shoulder. You just like all the touching!

But either way, you have to understand that both of you have developed a friendship now. And your friend may never even have assumed that you like them. So this whole love thing could turn out to be a betrayal of friendship rather than a declaration of love.

Before you dive in head first, give your feelings a serious thought and ask yourself if you really need to turn your friendship into romance.

Do you really like your friend?

Think long and hard before you profess your undying love since last week or last year, to this friend of yours. Make sure it isn’t just a crush, or a fling thing that you’re looking for with your friend. [Read: How to text flirt with a friend]

Take a weekend or a few days and ask yourself if you like your friend. If you’re still not sure, it’s better you go clubbing and hook up with someone for a fling, rather than damage a good friendship. Sometimes, we end up assuming we’ve fallen in love with a friend just because of all the attention they’re getting from the opposite sex.

When this friend of yours speaks well with you and hangs out with you all the time, while spurning all the other prospective dating materials away, it’s easy to confuse this sexual attraction with with feelings of love and affection.

And you obviously like the attention. At times like these, it’s very easy to start looking at your friend more like an attractive member of the opposite sex than a good friend who likes your company. This is one of the biggest reasons why many people fall for a friend. [Read: How to have sex with a friend]

Are you ready to take the next step?

If you’re really sure that you’re madly in love with your friend, is your friend single? If your pal is already happy in a good relationship, it’s probably better to just drop the thought than to split a couple just to satisfy your needs. And you’ve got to realize that if you’re good enough to break the couple’s love, why isn’t this crush of yours with you already? [Read: How to get a girl with a boyfriend]

One fine day, you probably decide that it’s time to blurt out the truth, that you’re madly in love with your friend, and you can’t imagine living your life without them. You sum up all your courage, and with a big lump in your throat and a stutter almost perfectly replicated to that of Hugh Grant, you bumble away and profess your undying love.

Most of the men would have been in this situation and well, the answer was lurking in the shadows even before one could pop the question out! A big resounding NO! And a cold shoulder for the rest of eternity. Seriously now, what’s wrong in confessing the hidden love for a friend?

It isn’t very different when a girl confesses her love for a guy either. The guy would just stare at her with those dazed eyes, similar to the ones trapped in front of a speeding train, and when you’re done, he would wiggle his toes and blush, but there’s nothing more you could get as a reply? That’s it? Seriously, what the hell?!

When you start to like a friend, you have to be willing to suffer the consequences and the embarrassment. But it doesn’t really have to end in a negative way. Just be sure you know why you like a friend, and we’ll show you what you have to do.

So what to do if you like a friend? Firstly, make sure it’s really love and not a little crush that can be forgotten in a few days. Secondly, continue reading here about how to ask a friend out once you’re sure you like your friend.

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So I’m a girl and I’ve slowly been falling for one of my best friends, who’s also a girl. I consider myself to be straight but she’s that one exception… We flirt all the time over texts and just never really bring it up in person. But I dream about her all the time and can’t stop thinking about her… I don’t want to talk to her about it because I don’t want to ruin our friendship but it’s also really hard to stop thinking about her and “move on”.

I’ve read this kind of advice several times now: “clubbing and hook up with someone for a fling” uhm, for some of us, this isn’t an option. Or at least not an easy thing. Not once in my life have I been to a club or out at night and “hooked up” with a stranger. That’s straight out of tv and films. I honestly don’t know how can people do that. All I know is that I like a girl with whom I’ve become friends and as far as I can tell, she just sees me as a friend. I can’t tell her because it’ll probably drive her away, and I rather be her friend and look at her pretty face every week. Thing is, I’m not getting any action so my interest for my friend just keeps growing. And it’s becoming a problem. How can the solution be “hook up” with someone else if I have yet to meet a someone else who wants to hook up with me?

I’ve found that the best way to deal with romantic/lustful feelings towards a friend is to be open about it – certainly when they’re already attached – but be clear about where the boundaries are. For example, I have a great male friend who’s been with his (lovely) partner for 20+ years, and a while back we had a conversation which boiled down to “If you were single I’d be interested” and “If I were single, I’d be interested” along with an agreement that neither of us was going to do anything about it. But it did make the friendship more honest, and much easier to deal with all the emotions which had been previously swimming around under the surface.