GERARD HOULLIER has vowed to return to Liverpool even stronger after admitting he put his life at risk by keeping his illness a secret from his players.

The Anfield manager revealed he hid all signs of the heart problem that could have killed him from his Liverpool stars to maintain the strong leadership that has revived the club's fortunes since his arrival in 1998.

And such was his commitment to the Reds cause that when struck by chest pains during the game against Leeds United, he refused to let his players be distracted from the game.

Speaking for the first time since his lifesaving operation at Broadgreen Hospital Houllier admitted he felt unwell long before he was taken ill at Anfield on October 13.

But he said: "As manager I did not want to show that there was something wrong.

"Physically I felt something was wrong, but I did not show that to my players. If you show you are weak, the team will be weak. In my mind I could not allow that to happen.

"All I knew was that the outward look of Gerard Houllier was not what I was feeling inside which was real exhaustion.

"My brother Serge, who is a doctor in France, would later talk to the surgeon who operated on me. He said that for the previous two months there might have been a leak in the aortic valve in my heart.

He said: "During this period, I tried to appear strong on the outside, but inside it wasn't right."

And Houllier stuck to that approach even when he fell ill at half-time against Leeds.

"At half-time I felt something was wrong in my chest," he added. "I remember saying to Phil Thompson: 'Listen, the first half was poor. Leave the start of the team talk to me. I will also make one or two changes.'

"While I didn't feel right, I wanted to keep the players' selfesteem up. I didn't want them to go out in the second half with a lack of confidence or with their minds not on the game."

The operation at Broadgreen's Cardiothoracic Centre has been declared a success, with Houllier allaying fears he may not return as Liverpool manager by predicting he will be back in better health than ever.

Houllier explained: "The medical team are satisfied that the operation has been a total success.

"Now it's just a matter of time. The surgeon has told me that there should be no problems in the future and that I can become even stronger. The operation was a huge success."