Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Minnie Gupta

Do you know who Minnie Gupta is? No? Neither did we until this morning, but we have to say that initial impressions bode well.

Really well

Minnie Gupta is one of them actor/model types. Occasionally, people get in touch with us and say “Hey FHM, you’re pretty cool guys. Would you like to post some pictures of this sexy actor/model type on your website and write some nice words about them?” and we generally say “Sure, if we fancy her.”

You can probably guess how Minnie fared already

And we do fancy Minnie Gupta, so here we are. And here you are, reading the article, no doubt lured in by Minnie’s fantastic curves and our own scintillating prose style – probably more the first than the second, though, let’s be honest.

Hey, we're good, but we appreciate our limitations

What’s Minnie all about, then? Well, she’s been in stuff. Stuff you might have seen. Stuff like Entourage, Two and Half Men, and CSI: Las Vegas. She’s also been in stuff you might not have seen, like the teeth-grindingly awful Adam Sandler vehicle Click, and a French comedy called Hollywoo. Not Hollywood, but Hollywoo. Clearly the writers had never tried to search for that on Google before they chose it as a title.

Seriously. No-one will ever find that film on their first try

Minnie writes a blog (with some skill, too, we were impressed to find) which you can read if you feel like discovering her love of Byronic heroes or the stress she feels at the pluralisation of popular rap slang phrase “Ho". It’s a concern we’ve all got, Minnie. We just use “hoes” and be done with it.

Even if it does confuse them with gardening implements

Despite being born in Michigan, Minnie's looking to make it in Bollywood, and good luck to her. Until we see her again, why not enjoy these pictures of her wearing a leopard pounded so flat it’s translucent and then taking a shower in it? Classic.

At least, we think it's a flattened leopard. What else could it be?

BONUS MINNIE GUPTA ARTICLE CONTENT: In her website’s portfolio, Minnie graces the cover of Lohfer, the “One and Only Asian Lad’s Mag". One of the featured articles on the cover is “QUICK! Shave your balls!” which is a terrifying thing to write on the front of a magazine. We can assure you that’s one thing you want to take your time over.