Going for the Gold

by Rachel Rabbit White

Or, if you prefer, urolagnia. Okay, maybe you aren’t familiar with the word, but I’ll bet you’ve heard of the fetish more commonly known as “water sports” or “golden showers.” Since researching this practice, I’ve found urolagnia dripping into my own sexual fantasies.

Urine Analysis

I imagine my lover blindfolding me, tying me up and slowly teasing me, until the moment he releases a hot stream of pee against my clit. His hips sway back and forth, watering me like a thirsty lawn. I imagine the smell of his decoction—heady, distinct, salty-sweet—its perfume infusing my skin, dousing my hair.

These days, golden showers are fairly common in pornography. In fact, in Japan, a pee fetish that involves wetting ones pants has become so commonplace, that there are game shows that feature ultra-moist contestants. Even so, for the greater part of society, anything to do with excretory function—pee, poop or puke—is not to be so spoken of in polite conversation. Sure, urination is completely natural, but it’s hard to assess how normal something is or isn’t in any context—much less a sexual one—when it doesn’t get talked about. From the time we are children, many of us are taught that our genitals—the part of our bodies, which in addition to sexual function, is “where pee comes from”—are dirty and shameful. Of course, urine play is erotic precisely because it of this taboo.

When I was a child, I imagined that sex occurred when you crawled into bed with someone and slowly got naked. I understood that this was a very vulnerable situation that included lots of tender touching, kisses and handholding. Finally, when you were ready, when the two of you both wanted to “go all the way,” you’d simultaneously “let go” and began to pee, your bodies wrapped around each other, eyes closed, as you were covered in a heady mixture of sweat and pee. Perhaps my newfound appreciation for water sports comes down to this childhood fantasy, or perhaps even then, I knew that it would be hot. (I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I still find this fantasy both alluring and strangely romantic.)

As a child, watching someone pee was something I was taught one wasn’t supposed to do, yet I couldn’t understand why. While my longtime curiosity with urolagnia might be unique, I think most kids are interested in pee. My aunt, who taught grade school, once related the following story: After school one day, a little boy and girl were nowhere to be found when their parents arrived to pick them up. Frantic, my aunt went searching for them, eventually finding the pair in the kindergarten bathroom stall. The girl was sitting down, peeing, while the boy urinated freely between her legs. The kids looked up at my shocked aunt and assured her that it was okay; they did it all the time.

A Pee Primer

Have you ever noticed that the act of peeing feels pretty good? Put it in a sexual setting, and the pleasure of this physical release is amplified. There are two main modus operandi in water sports: The first is in dominance/submission play. Since playing the fire hydrant role can be construed as “degrading,” you can dominate your partner by peeing on them, which brings in an element of humiliation (or, it can just be reinforcing your “top-ness”). If you are normally the submissive, but want to switch it up for a session, peeing on your partner is a way to feel like an instant top. For partners that are into any amount of BDSM, experimenting with pee play can become a real turn-on, especially with that added bonus of taboo chic.

The second avenue for pee-play is to actually use the stream of urine itself as an erotic device. (A well-directed stream of warm water hitting the body can be a pretty pleasant sensation, as any woman who has experimented with a handheld showerhead can attest.) For pleasuring a male with a pee stream, a woman can position herself over her partner, peeing on the head of his penis, and moving the stream down the shaft, back and forth with her hips. For ultimate sensation, try this just as he is about to come. Another tactic is to have him enter her, at which point she begins to urinate. This sensation is said to be so intense that it can trigger immediate ejaculation, so you’ll probably want to warn your partner beforehand before trying this out. To pleasure a woman, a male partner can aim his stream directly at his partner’s clitoris, which for some, results in intense orgasm. It is can also be extremely satisfying for a woman to pee during orgasm, but again, she should let her partner know in advance if she plans to loose the floodgates.

Going for the Gold

I set out to write this piece with the notion that I did not have a pee fetish, but that pee could be erotically charged—and a normal and natural fantasy. I learned that if the sex lives of my friends are at all a representative sample, urolagnia seems to almost have become a sexual rite of passage for many of us. One friend gushed gleefully over the phone the details of a wild, wet sex romp she’d recently had with her boyfriend. “We were in a lake, doing it in the middle of the day,” Gayle* recalls. “We were getting really into it, when out of nowhere, Bill asked me to pee on him.” Gayle confides her first reaction was to giggle and protest, “but when I saw that he was serious, we both began to get turned on. I positioned myself, sliding to straddle Bill’s thigh and peed all over him. I could see it spreading murkily into the water surrounding us.”

Another friend, Lois, went back to the hotel with a DJ from a popular indie-hip hop group. “It was after a concert, and we were both looking to hook up,” she recalls. “Instead of screwing, I found myself in the shower, gloriously peeing all over Mr. Indie Star.”

When I heard these stories, I confess, it was with a mixed reaction. While part of me still felt a pang of conditioned societal disgust and disapproval, I was curious—maybe even a bit envious—that my friends had been free enough to try something like that.

Come on in, the water’s fine.

The first time I delved into water sports, BDSM play may have technically been the order of the day, though it’s blurry because I was… let’s just say, “under the influence.” My partner and I had been at a concert, and at some point, we started ordering tequila shots. After the event was over, as I stood waiting to hail a cab, I realized I had to pee…bad. I half hid myself behind a dumpster and squatted, making a long ghost- trail. Suddenly, a taxi appeared, and my partner was standing over me, saying we had to go. I finished and drunkenly tucked my skirt into my panties, flopping into the backseat.

By the time we got home, we were pulling one another’s clothes off in a spastic and grand inebriated dance. As we made out, my boyfriend suddenly whispered, “Pee on me.” I remember thinking that it was a chance for me to be the dominant. I ordered him down on the hardwood bedroom floor and began to let ’er rip. I was shocked at how difficult it was to actually pee on someone, but also at how exciting it to hear my lover moan with pleasure as a river of clear, alcohol pee cascaded over his chest and made a run for our discarded clothes.

The simple thought that I keep coming back to is that since pee is harvested from the same general genital delta as other fluid emission associated with carnal fun, it’s something that simply begs to experimented with on a sexual level. For me, urolagnia is no longer taboo, but rather, one shining facet in the larger spectrum of my sexuality.