Time

I’m currently on a three-day textile sculpture workshop. Today is Friday, day one. Each of the three days is long, so although it’s only Friday, I’m sat writing this blog post ready for tomorrow’s weekly update. I could be sat curled up watching television with my husband, but I’ve chosen instead to write.

I’ve just completed another creative hour working on Princess Sophia’s fire feather plumage and I’m tired. I’m also still as determined as ever to make the absolute best job I can of this 100 day challenge. And that includes this regular blog.

The television will always be there. This time, this 100 days, won’t be. I will never be able to have this time again. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Time is the most precious thing we have. It’s priceless.

Where am I going with this blog? I’m not really sure. As I said, I’m tired so tonight the words aren’t flowing quite as well as normal. But I know there’s something important here somewhere, so I’ll just keep going until the point I’m trying to make emerges.

Why am I doing this?

I feel driven.

Driven?

Yes.

Not by money.

Not by greed.

Not even the excuse used by some climbers when asked why they’ve climbed a particular mountain. No, I’m not doing it because I can/ because it’s there.

No. I’m driven by a deep need.

For me that’s not a need to achieve money or fame.

It’s not even for any recognition.

I simply want to keep on improving in my chosen form of art until, well….until it is the best, the very best I can possibly achieve. The best I am truly capable of.

I’m driven by the need to achieve my full creative potential.

And that means that I will keep on turning up, practicing and improving until one day I hope the creatures and characters I create will be as special, as magical in real life, as they are in the visions in my head. And my words will generate the same magical emotions in others as they evoke in my own heart and soul when I write them.

My creativity is chaotic and disorganised. It’s emotional and frustrating when it’s not going how I want and need it to go. But the satisfaction and exhilaration I experience, when my art or writing feels right, is amazing. Nothing I ever make or write is ever perfect of course. Like all artists, I’m my own worst critic.

I just want to know that when I leave this world (kicking and screaming I hope!), that I can go knowing I tried my absolute best. No regrets.

After all, the time will pass anyway. So I might as well spend it doing something I love, right?

And right now, I’m spending it on an amazing 100 day journey, creating a very special phoenix, who I hope will raise lots of money to help to save fellow humans in the wake of the Indonesian earthquake.

And that’s far more important and worthwhile than sitting in front of the television.

It’s far better use of my invaluable time.

Do you have a dream that you’ve been putting off, waiting for the right time?

Please don’t wait. Even if you only spend five minutes a day working towards it, please just do it?

I can promise that you won’t regret it.

And even if it doesn’t work out quite as you planned, at least you’ll know you tried.

The time will pass anyway, so why not spend a little of it working towards your dreams?

Phoenix Project progress update:

Day 50 – creative hour 50/100

I pinned and re-pinned feathers, trying to find the elusive flame feather combination that felt right.

Day 51 – creative hour 51/100

Breakthrough – I caught sight of Princess Sophia from a completely different angle. She was staring at me head on, almost glaring at me, challenging me to see what was staring me in the face.

The penny dropped as I realised I couldn’t see the feathers I’d pinned in place on her at all. It wasn’t just the colour patterns that were wrong. The feathers were all too flat, too even. So I began piling them up on top of each other. Much better. I could have sworn that Princess Sophia started grinning back at me saying “See?”

Day 52 – creative hour 52/100

I made yet more feathers as I knew the ‘pile them high’ method I’d be using would use masses of feathers.

Day 53 – creative hour 53/100

I began stitching the first flame feathers in place, much to Princess Sophia’s relief. I’m sure she had begun to think she’d never get a decent covering of feathers.

Day 54 – creative hour 54/100

Princess Sophia gave me yet another idea, one that I was itching to try out. I’m still not sure if it’ll work, but I feel as though I’m on the right track. Sophia is urging me not to say any more on the subject at present though. More experimenting is necessary.

And on days 55 and 56, (creative hours 55 and 56/100) I continued sewing on more piles of feathers.

I can only apologise for what is likely to become a rather repetitive theme in the days ahead.