A married man who planned to rendezvous with one of his handful of lovers at an eastern Wisconsin motel instead got his penis glued to his stomach, according to court documents.

Four women, including his wife, showed up to bind and blindfold the man, plus place the adhesive on his package, all in a bizarre plot to punish him for a lover's quadrangle gone bad, says the Calumet County docs.

Now it's the women who face punishment, perhaps six years in prison, and at least one said Monday the story has gotten twisted and she's embarrassed.

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A British dwarf who was performing at the 'Edinburgh Festival' found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner while preparing for a live show.

Daniel Blackner, known as "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" performed at the Circus of Horrors, known for its oddball and offbeat performances. As part of the show, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner using a special attachment, across the show attached to his penis. However, the vacuum cleaner was broken before a performance and performer Blackner placed extra-strong glue on the attachment to fix it, neglecting to wait the entire 20 minutes required for the glue to dry, which resulted in his penis becoming glued to the vacuum cleaner.

After being rushed to the A&E department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, Blackner was freed after an hour and remarked that: "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."

Hospital sources confirmed that they treated the performer, but a spokesman for the Royal Infirmary said he could not comment on individual cases.

__________________And everything's over when your grandma walks in, "get that dick outta the fish tank! Time for supper!"