There was no avoiding the UK’s favourite TV programme. It featured a slightly chaotic young family, struggling financially but “making ends meet with love”. Everyone seemed to love them until they got pregnant with their third baby. For the first time, dissenting voices suggested they should “only have children they could afford” and newspaper reports said that fame had gone to their heads.

I decided to intervene and took the baby to the seaside to take the pressure off the family. It was only then that I discovered the baby had a red hairy back and was half fox.