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Running after eating a full meal is not such a good idea. It’s like getting in a fist fight underwater holding your breath and kicking for air. Humans are not cars. They do not go faster when there is an increased source of energy.

It probably doesn’t help that I have been a huge slacker and not exercising. Take it easy. I need to follow my advice. All of it. I’m having a midbrain crisis.

Blow up into the atmosphere where a change goes unnoticed. Erase myself from invisible sheers. Explosives are held at arm’s length, but they won’t escape my person until I realize they were created by me.

Weirdness. After doing a few stupid things lately I’ve had a while to think. I wish that:

1. I had three eyes or 4D vision.
2. Meat grew on trees.
3. I had 2 brains or 2 hearts.
4. Life had an eraser.
5. Robots would replace child labor.
6. I could run on batteries.
7. I could see music.
8. Men got pregnant.
9. Breathing was optional.
10. There were more than 3 primary colors.
11. Inanimate objects could talk.
12. Bodies/teeth/hair cleaned themselves.
13. Dreams could really interact between people.

I’m going to start by revealing how I got started here. I’ve never kept an actual diary before. I like to write things down, partly because I can look back at myself and the other part is I can keep track of my thoughts. Instead of displaying my activities on myspace, I wanted to make my own site. The vision I had was I could have complete strangers read and be read without the worry of being invited or accepted based on criteria of your profile. It doesn’t matter here. I have a myspace, but I get sick of the guys messaging me with inappropriate material. In other words- being rude and invasive and making me feel uncomfortable. Plus there is some bad news that myspace was invented on a spam marketing scheme. No wonder all those bulletins are just more advertisements. I can understand advertising to keep the site in business, but half a page of ads? I had to delete my account because it got hacked and sent porn links to my friends. Now I only touch myspace with a stick to keep in touch with friends. It’s pretty hard to type with a stick though.

Anyway, back on topic. So I had a plan, now I needed to execute it. What should I call it? I had a few names that I liked.

eyeslikesparks.com

brokenself.com

myrah.com

drypond.com

dreamself.com

hightime.com

runawaywind.com

A few of those were taken already. I wanted something short, but I couldn’t find the perfect name. I became desperate. I was searching for the wackiest site names. I found out that FreePMS.com is available, but that’s not what I wanted to make my site into. Eventually I thought of the word complex and how even the word “complex” has several complicated meanings. It can be a chemical compound, psychological abnormality, or a nexus of intricate parts that is hard to explain. I thought all definitions applied to my objective to some degree. The name also has a double interpretation grammatically. It can mean…

Verb: Complex me. As a command, saying “Confuse me,” or make me think.

Adjective: Complex me. As a description of me being hard to understand or being composed of a series of impulses, emotions, or molecules.

Before I was able to make my own website, I found a guy who does web design. Ironically, I found his site when looking for relevant happenings in my town, and we have some of the same interests. So I asked if he could help set up the technical stuff for me. He registered my website name for me and put up a wordpress blog for me. Then he added a few theme templates that were free to use and he ended up not charging for his time. And my site is working just how I want it!