Drunk Trump Is The Best Trump, Every Speech Should Be Like This Slowed Down Video

I’ve been in the camp that suspects Donald Trump’s campaign is just one long con. I mean, The Donald referred to 9/11 as “7-Eleven” for Cruz’s sake. Then again, I’m one of those Americans who thinks most politicians are “shit sandwiches“, so Trump’s shenanigans don’t faze me.

Some feel Trump’s been drunk at his rallies. Well, Boing Boing went ahead and slowed down one of Trump’s speeches to give us a glimpse of what President Trump might sound like after a couple cocktails in the White House…

I fully expect Trump to admit this whole thing was a drunk bet he made with Ted Turner. Like, come November, right after it’s announced he’s won, he’ll be like, “Guys, JK! Are you serious? Me?! What a bunch of losahs!” Then sails off in his yacht to some island no one’s heard of.

Personally, I’d love to see at least one debate where every candidate is cocked on ‘shlager or buzzed on Buds. Enough of this clean, wholesome image you’re trying to project, what are you like when drunk? A Pres that can handle their liquor can handle an international hostage crisis with threats of nuclear warfare.