Month: April 2019

Colorado is a strange place. This week it was warm enough for us to wear shorts, and then suddenly snow. We had planned on going out that day, but decided we would rather not drive after all. So we spent the day in the studio.

Sky ended up being the person out. She worked a bit on a large piece Bran started, following his plan to add white branches and vibrant yellow circles. When she was done, she didn’t know what else to do.

We don’t have much space in the studio, so she got out one of the smallest canvases we have, and tried to think of something to paint.

She felt kind of bad too. She wasn’t creative like Bjorn. She couldn’t think of any monsters, or fantastic creatures, like he could. She couldn’t think of a vibrant abstract landscape like Bran. She sat in the silence of our studio looking out at the blowing snow and not thinking of anything much at all, just how nice the snow was, and how even though the telephone wires were not very pretty, she liked how the snow had piled up on them.

So that is what she painted, not in a flash of clear inspiration, not in a deluge of chaotic creative energy, but in a moment of quiet openness to the world as it is. How we see things is just as important as the worlds we can imagine.

I am glad Sky reminded us of that this week. I think her piece is very elegant. She did a wonderful job.

I hope you/you all have a lovely week. Keep arting, however it is that you art.

All our best,

Ariadne (& Finna who desperately wants to play video games now we have finished our work ^-^)

A lot has been changing lately. We joined an artist guild.. they told us we need a website (emmengard.com).. we made a website.. And we signed up to speak at the plural conference. We will be talking about plurality and art.

It feels big.

Anyway, making the website was hard for us, and not simply because we have zero experience with webdesign. It was hard because I, Elowen, realized that I don’t want to actually sell any of my paintings. Our paintings are so much of who we are. We pour ourselves into them. I have really intense relationships with all the paintings I paint. I feel that if I don’t feel anything when I am making it, no one will feel anything when they look at it.

We throw ourselves into our work. I throw mysefl into my work.

Losing a single piece is gut wrenching, and I have been avoiding it our entire life. I hoard my lovelies.

However, as I was going through the process of making the website, I realized something else. Those paintings were how I knew I was me. When I was painting I was solidly myself. I was holding onto those paintings because when you are a member of a system it is so easy to feel lost in your own life, so easy to lose yourself in everyone else you are sharing a life with. I was ephemeral. But when I was painting I was real. I was solid. I was me.

Losing those paintings isn’t about just losing something I deeply love, it feels like I am losing myself.

However, that is all different now. We know each other. We love each other. I look at the creepy weird work that Weasel does, work that I could never do, that it never even occurs to me to do, and I love her so much. I look at Conrad and his confidence, his charm and humor and wit. I could never do that. I am not like him in that way at all. I love them. I am not just the one who paints anymore. I am not fiercely holding onto myself anymore. I am not ephemeral.

The love I have for my family, for my system mates, and the love they have for me, that is more solid and more real than all the paintings I have ever made, because it is from this deep love that all of our work comes from. Our love is a wellspring of becoming. So I can let them go now. Cause I and the others, we will always be making more.