Self Portrait in Places by Bonnilee Kaufman

I. Bakery

We met.
In the late afternoon
On Rose Avenue, her
Intelligence bright,
Irrefutable
Behind cataract eyes
Smiling as we bumped
Toward the last bag of
Cast-offs. Day old muffins
Still promising.
If civility is love
We shared some, splitting
The contents, her seventyish
Years of core butch
Steady under loose soft
Skin, enticing my
Scent, in lieu of my name.

Revisited.
Haven’t bumped into anyone
Not counting the homeless.
The muffins, flavored now with
Frugal substitutions, no longer worthwhile.
Real creamed butter too expensive
But I still taste it,
Familiarity resides in
Pent up knots, my neck
Stiff from harboring memories.

It’s odd
How the ground keeps slipping
Despite the cleats
I’ve taken a turn
Left my desert girl
In the sand, yet feel
Defeat rise from the
Steam of my own decision
Emotions narrow to the
Pulse
Of a droning metronome.
I’m losing weight
Without having a bit of
Drama to feast upon.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bonnilee Kaufman is a Learning Disabilities
Specialist for the California Community Colleges. She received a partial
scholarship to the Lambda Literary Foundation's 2012 Writers Retreat
for Emerging Voices. Her poetry was included in two anthologies: Ghosts of the Holocaust, and Milk and Honey—A Celebration of Jewish Lesbian Poetry.