One night, not too long ago, I was sitting amongst a throng of horny women watching Manpower, with the gyrations, thrusts and random crotch attacks. Crutch attacks if you're British apparently.

When the show was over I asked the ladies around me what they thought it meant. They were puzzled. They told me it was a bunch of hot oily guys dancing. I could see that! What I wanted to know is the hidden meaning behind the act. Perhaps some critique of the West's strategy to secure the oil reserves of the world. They were covered in oil, just like our government is covered in oil and the blood of lesser nations.

When I brought up this possibility the ladies wouldn't talk to me anymore. Not even when I stripped down to my underpants and gyrated my crotch at them. (I gyrated my crutch at them if your British, apparently). The artistic communication between Manpower and these ladies was equally ineffective. The poor silly horny idiots had no idea.

But is it any different when you are confronted by some of Bowie's truly great work? The song Too Dizzy is brought up again and again as a topic of criticism and hate. But nobody looks close enough. Lazy! Silly! Very silly! And very lazy....

Look closer...let me guide you.

There's too much talking for a night drive.

Obviously a decision has been made to go on a "night drive" between the singer and an unknown person. But this person won't shut up, therefore making it impossible for the singer to go get his car keys, put shoes on and grab his wallet. There's too much talking for a night drive. Perhaps we'll go tomorrow when you're less excitable. For now we'd better just have a conversation, even if it is one-sided. I can't even make a cup of tea you're talking so much.

Too much mist in front of my eyes.

The only misty thing I can think of is pesticide. So, the picture becomes clearer. The singer is spraying pesticide on his vegetables in the back garden, AND he's having his ear talked off, all the while trying to get ready to go on a night drive. This stressful situation is making him pump out too much pesticide by mistake. It's getting in his eyes and all.

I'm trying not to lose control.

No wonder!! It's making more sense now isn't it? The singer is about to have some kind of breakdown. Too much going on! If he doesn't concentrate more on spraying pesticide he's going to have a very serious oopsy.

But you're just pushing for a fight.

So now Miss Talky is showing her real motivations for going on that so called "night drive". It's Tyson vs Stegmire down at the concert venue and she wants to go. She's just pushing our singer into driving her to the big fight. That's all she's doing. And our poor singer is feeling the stress, but Talky doesn't care.

You look trapped turn the radio on.

Now you see what she's done? The singer has decided to take her after all, but with all that pesticide in his eyes he has a major car accident. There's smoke and fire. And Talky is trapped in the wreckage. The singer can't get her out, so he turns on the radio to amuse her until the emergency services arrive.

Too much smoke air conditioning gone.

Talky is choking on the smoke, and the air conditioning is beyond repair.

But I'm helpless in love with you

He can't do anything for her. Probably saying goodbye by saying he loves her, despite her being a pushy shithead.

But you're just looking for a break.

Talky can't move her legs. She feels them to see if there are any broken bones.

Is it love or is it what?

That doesn't make any sense. He's so worried he's talking gibberish.

Who's this guy I'm gonna blow away?

Umm. The only thing I can think of is that he's got a call from his young daughter and wants to kill the guy who knocked her up.

What kind of love is he giving you?

Anal, vaginal or oral? Dad wants to know.

I'm a dizzy is what I'm trying to say

Still under the influence of the pesticide.

Too Dizzy - You can't have a lover

Getting very confused now.

Too Dizzy - It's me and no other

I don't want to accuse the singer of incest. But I have to.

I'm a bad loser - I'm shaking in anger

Well...as he still waits for help he listens to a horse race that he had a bet on. And loses. His fucked up day is starting to get to him now.

Too Dizzy - You can't have no lover

Personally I think he should wait for the pesticide to wear off before he says anything else.

You can go on dreaming every night

When Talky is dead

But I'm not letting you out of my sight

He's gonna watch her burn

I'm ten times a man than any guy around

He's hysterical now

But you're just itchin, twitching for a break

What's the point?

The meaning of the song is not to drive when you've breathed in pesticide. Not to talk to your daughter under the influence of pesticide. And to get your air conditioning looked at, it might save your life, or at least give you a bit of cool comfort just before you burn to death.