Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I Got Tagged Along With Desmond Tutu

Firstly,

[Dear Yog and other readers,

I was on the far side of the universe for a while. I was testing out the Earth destruction techniques kindly suggested on a site that you linked to: http://qntm.org/destroy. I tried some of those experiments on a small planet using my cosmic cab's universal fission emulator. But to no avail. I did have a lot of fun shooting at orange three-eyed fury wombat-like creatures on the planet called Quantumino B.A.I. in a solar system very much like ours. Besides having fun torturing the orange thingies with a meteorite megaslingshot until they squealed with horror and turned auburn, I did succeed in destroying their sustainable environment using simple deforestation techniques learnt on Earth and releasing a megacan of compressed Ryanair jet emissions in their atmosphere. But, came hell and no more water, I could not move or fissure their planet out of orbit or existence. I must say it did feel a lot like having an Xbox though. Then I got bored and returned home to write an article in Afrikaans for Wikipedia about Valencia, Spain and read a compilation of novellas written by Samuel Beckett. I will try some more experiments on other planets as soon as I figure out what that bloody e=mc square thing means and change the tyres of my cosmic cab.]

Secondly,

In the meantime, I got tagged along with Desmond Tutu.

Four jobs I've had:

Cashier

Crime Analyst

English Teacher

Security Manager

Four movies I can watch over and over:

Lost in Translation

A Beautiful Mind

Moulin Rouge

Iris

Four places I've lived:

Pretoria, South Africa

Potchefstroom, South Africa

Ulsan, South Korea

London, United Kingdom

Four TV shows I love:

Friends

Star Trek

Carteblanche

Nils Holgersson

Four highly regarded and recommended TV shows I haven't seen:

Song vir Katryn

The documentary about Johannes Kerkorrel's suicide.

All the stuff on National Geographic channel (I never had and still don't have a TV).

Paul C. Venter's Konings (Kings)

Four of my favourite dishes:

Pasta

Ceasars salad with hot English mustard and ham sandwiches.

Pap (something porridgy), wors (something sausagy with nice spices inside) and tomatosauce made from real tomatoes and onions. These are traditional South African foods (for those ignorants who live outside South Africa, London, parts of Australia, Canada and the United States of America).

2 Comments:

Oh so it was YOU who toasted the Orange Wombat Tribbles.A good thing, because my nephew wanted one for his birthday but I couldn't work out how to disable the Jessica Simpson Emulator Matrix, the one that makes them morph into silly car-washing pop stars in cowboy boots at midday. When I asked god about that, in an interview the other day, he said he'd been experimenting with tequila at the time and only realised his mistake when he woke up three days later. He's grateful to you for ridding the galaxy of that scourge, by the way, and says if there's anything he can do in return, just ask. I believe Quantumino B.A.I is being left to lie fallow for a couple of million years, after which it will be seeded with Triple-Tambourined Troubador Terrier Tribbles, which are touted to become the next galactic super-race.So there you go then. All's well that ends well.Don't worry too much about the e=mc square thing. It was just a hoax. Means nothing at all. In fact, if you bombard it with a purple particle pen, it decodes to read: Mundus Vult Decipi.Which makes a cool bumper sticker!

Oh so it was YOU who toasted the Orange Wombat Tribbles.A good thing, because my nephew wanted one for his birthday but I couldn't work out how to disable the Jessica Simpson Emulator Matrix, the one that makes them morph into silly car-washing pop stars in cowboy boots at midday. When I asked god about that, in an interview the other day, he said he'd been experimenting with tequila at the time and only realised his mistake when he woke up three days later. He's grateful to you for ridding the galaxy of that scourge, by the way, and says if there's anything he can do in return, just ask. I believe Quantumino B.A.I is being left to lie fallow for a couple of million years, after which it will be seeded with Triple-Tambourined Troubador Terrier Tribbles, which are touted to become the next galactic super-race.So there you go then. All's well that ends well.Don't worry too much about the e=mc square thing. It was just a hoax. Means nothing at all. In fact, if you bombard it with a purple particle pen, it decodes to read: Mundus Vult Decipi.

About Me

I am an Austrian boerseun born in South Africa. I have no home and always restlessly migrate to do all sorts of odd jobs across the planet - searching that which will forever elude me. I stayed in London for a few years and now I'm teaching English in Seoul, South Korea for a while again. Between midnight and sunrise I travel in my cosmic cab to find some peace amid nebula clouds.