Saturday, July 28, 2012

Fatherhood by Rodney Hide

That's the effect of a
"without notice" protection order. The Family Court will grant one
immediately following a complaint.I have witnessed fathers fall apart when denied access to their children because
false allegations that were never tested in court were made against them. I have
seem them dedicate years and years and everything they had just to see their
children

Tragically for totally innocent fathers the complaint can be a total pack of lies. The family court does not investigate whether the malicious allegations are true or false. The family court refuses to accept testimony and evidence that can prove the allegations are nothing more than lies invented by a vengeful and vindictive maternal family. Protection orders are issued by the corrupt court at the drop of a hat. Many fathers are overwhelmed by them and commit suicide when they immediately lose contact with their kids and sadly become alienated from their children.Dad feels he has nothing to live for. I know many dads who have taken this option.

As a victim of false allegations made to the family court in
2001 that resulted in without notice protection orders I can assure that they’re
a life sentence. I lost contact with my children for several years as my
tainted family court case meandered slowly through the callous and brutally cruel
corridors of the gender bias family court. The false testimony cost the country
lots of tax dollars! My heartbreaking ordeal resulted in fatal consequences for
my family (RIP Mum). Everybody now knows
that I was shafted by a malicious and totally corrupt family court. All of my
four New Zealand born love me heaps. I want justice and I will get it one day.

Last week my Dad had a massive heart attack. His heart stopped but thanks to
the sterling work of St John Ambulance and Auckland Hospital he's alive and
doing well. My Dad is 85.

It made me think, sitting with my Mum outside intensive care with my Dad
fighting for his life. Memories from long ago filled my mind and reminded me
again of my good fortune in having such a good dad.

My Dad's a great man. He's not great like he was once prime minister or
something. He wasn't a great sportsman, a celebrity or an activist. He is a
great man in the way all the good men of his generation are.

He worked hard all his life. He looked after his family. He enjoys every
day. I have never known him to say a bad thing about another person. I doubt he
has ever had a bad thought. The only thing he can't abide is laziness. His
measure of anyone is how hard they work.

He doesn't study. Or read books. And he never lectures people. I don't
recall him ever telling me off.

But, again, like all the good men of his generation, he sets a standard, not
by talking about it but by living it. He is a role model for me; one that I
have always aspired to live up to but haven't always succeeded. The values that
guide him are basic and good, handed down from his parents and their parents
before them.

They are simple values but these days they appear impossibly hard to live up
to.

My good fortune in life is to have had that standard set and to have been
inspired always to try to live up to it.

We now have entire neighbourhoods that have no dads. That's never happened
before, even in wartime. The welfare system has made dads economically
redundant. In the raising of children they have become an optional extra.

The DPB cheque each week provides the financial support for the raising of
children but it can't substitute for a father to look up to and to learn from.
Young boys learn from their dads how to be good husbands and fathers. Young
girls learn what to look for in a husband and father for their children.

There are 225,000 adults not living with one or other of their children.
Most are men.

We know there are deadbeat dads. But there are plenty of good dads, too,
made redundant from family life by the DPB.

It's not just the welfare system that has knocked fathers out of their
children's lives. The law and its operation also is upended against dads.

The saddest cases I ever had to deal with as an MP were those in which the
law was used as a weapon in a fight over custody and money. In our haste to
protect women and children we have upended the law and chucked it hard against
dads.

I have had many a constituency case in which a dad had come home from work
to be greeted by the police, told he's got 10 minutes to pack his things and
get out. He was not to say goodbye to his children. He was not to go near them.

That's the effect of a "without notice" protection order. The
Family Court will grant one immediately following a complaint. There doesn't have
to be abuse. Just the risk of it. Understandably, the court errs on the side of
caution and readily grants these orders.

The first a dad knows there's a protection order against him is when he's
told to get out. I have known a dad spend that night sleeping in his car and
discovering the joint account cleaned out.

I have had dads lose their jobs because of false complaints of sex abuse.
One dad was told if he went to anger management classes he might have a chance
of seeing his children again.

He turned up each week. That class is the only time he has ever lost his
temper. The rapist beside him explained that he was truly sorry for being a bad
man and now felt pity for his victims. The murderer said he had found God. Our
dad explained that he had done nothing wrong and shouldn't even be there. He
was the only one to fail the course. The course facilitator concluded he was
"in denial".

I have witnessed fathers fall apart when denied access to their children
because false allegations that were never tested in court were made against
them. I have seem them dedicate years and years and everything they had just to
see their children.

Mothers are important. But so too are dads. All my life I have strived to
make my Dad proud of me. That's the way it should be. But what of those sons
whose dads aren't there? What becomes of them? Sadly, I think we know the
likely answer.