Compassionate Love Quiz

You might love your partner truly, madly, deeply. But do you love compassionately?

To find out—and get tips for becoming a more compassionate partner—take this quiz, which is adapted from a scale developed by researchers Susan Sprecher and Beverley Fehr.

Please answer the below questions as honestly as possible; there are no right or wrong answers. For the first 15 questions, please indicate how much you agree or disagree with each statement.

The last five questions are about you, and they'll be used by our research team to better understand how compassionate love relates to factors like age and gender. We'll report next month on what the scores suggest about the Greater Good community.

When you're done, you'll get your score, learn more about the benefits of compassionate love, and find resources for bringing more compassion into your relationship.

1. When I see my partner feeling sad, I feel a need to reach out to them.

When I see my partner feeling sad, I feel a need to reach out to them.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

2. I spend a lot of time concerned about the well-being of my partner.

I spend a lot of time concerned about the well-being of my partner.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

3. It is easy for me to feel the pain (and joy) experienced by my partner.

It is easy for me to feel the pain (and joy) experienced by my partner.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

4. If my partner needs help, I would do almost anything I could to help him or her.

If my partner needs help, I would do almost anything I could to help him or her.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

5. I would rather suffer myself than see my partner suffer.

I would rather suffer myself than see my partner suffer.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

6. If given the opportunity, I am willing to sacrifice in order to let my partner achieve their goals in life.

If given the opportunity, I am willing to sacrifice in order to let my partner achieve their goals in life.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

7. One of the activities that provides me with the most meaning in my life is helping my partner.

One of the activities that provides me with the most meaning in my life is helping my partner.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

8. I would rather engage in actions that help my partner than engage in actions that would help me.

I would rather engage in actions that help my partner than engage in actions that would help me.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

9. I often have tender feelings toward my partner when they seem to be in need.

I often have tender feelings toward my partner when they seem to be in need.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

10. I accept my partner even when they do things I think are wrong.

I accept my partner even when they do things I think are wrong.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

11. If my partner is troubled, I usually feel extreme tenderness and caring.

If my partner is troubled, I usually feel extreme tenderness and caring.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

12. I try to understand rather than judge my partner.

I try to understand rather than judge my partner.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

13. I try to put myself in my partner’s shoes when he or she is in trouble.

I try to put myself in my partner’s shoes when he or she is in trouble.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

14. I feel happy when I see that my partner is happy.

I feel happy when I see that my partner is happy.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

15. I want to spend time with my partner so that I can find ways to help enrich his/her life.

I want to spend time with my partner so that I can find ways to help enrich his/her life.

Join Us

"It is a great good and a great gift, this Greater Good. I bow to you for your efforts to bring these uplifting and illuminating expressions of humanity, grounded in good science, to the attention of us all."

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Best-selling author and founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program