MILAN, Italy - Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi told a crowd of supporters in Milan that President Obama and his wife go sunbathing together and that each has a great tan.

Prime Minister Berlusconi who at the age of 72, kind of resembles a cross between a fat Paul Anka and a fat Regis Philbin is apparently upset that Mrs. Obama chose to shake his hand instead of giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek during the G-20 Summit in Pittsburgh.

The Italian leader told a reporter for the Italian national news publication El Pepperoni that Mrs. Obama is still mad at him because in the past he had said that she had a very nice tan, albeit a permanent one.

He also pointed out that Mrs. Obama is taller than President Obama and that she likes to show off her muscular arms by wearing sleeveless dresses, blouses, and basketball jerseys.

He went on to say that President Obama had told him in strictest confidence that his wife had some fine looking tan lines which only he and Michelle's high school boyfriend Willie "Willie" Edison had seen.

President Obama said that the little Italian fella needs to cut back on his daily wine consumption because it gives him the 'loose tongue.'

Obama laughed and said that just because his first name (Silvio) rhymes with wine in Italian (vino) is no reason to go around making stupid ass (a*s) remarks.

President Obama said that he wanted to make it clear to everyone that he and his woman did not appreciate the fact that the Italian prime minister had given each one a bottle of Coppertone Sunblock as a head of state gift.

When an unnamed source informed the president that at first the prime minister was going to give him a watermelon as a gift President Obama made a fist and hit the palm of his hand saying, "If the dude from that boot-lookin' country had done that then I would have had no choice but to teach the pasta-eating punk some good old-fashioned American manners."

The president was asked what he meant by that remark and he just smiled and said that he would rather not say, but that it involved the presidential fist and Silvio the punk's face.

In a related story. Tom Cruise is getting ready to start filming the next installment in The Mission Impossible series. The movie will co-star Denzel Washington and Halle Berry and is called, Mission Impossible 7 - The Search For The Presidential Birth Certificate.

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