Read through my thoughts as I write them while I stare blank at the mirror humans call Life.

Choices

When people ask me to define love, I say, "Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." (Sponge Bob)

When they ask me why I laugh at my mistakes and even write them with pride in my blogs, I say, "I'm not crazy. I just don't give a damn!" (Daffy Duck)

When one time I was conducting a group activity, a student asked what road sign I love the most, I said, "I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. They at least have the decency to let you know you're going nowhere…" (Bugs Bunny)

And when for the nth time a friend would ask me what do I get from writing, I'm not even sure if there are good old souls out there visiting my site, I just smile and say, "Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple." (Bob Ong)

And last night when Eva said she wants to quit from her work because nobody believes in her, her boss got mad at her, she doesn't even have friends at her agency, and she's crying like hell, I said, "Either you stay to prove your worth or you quit and just show them you're a loser, you have to strive for your happiness." (MY original)

My CHOICES: I remained believing in love. I continued spicing up my mistakes and rewriting my life, accepting failure but keep on dreaming until words would fade into thin air.

Jan 15, 2008

Insanity Strikes Back!

I was talking about some insanity spurts you can do to make your life more laughable; which in the process can help you achieve a healthier disposition in life just before I logged off for the holidays.

Oh well, didn’t I mention that?

Okay, now… I just did!

And last week, I by passingly mentioned Zedka in Coelho’s novel, Veronika Decides to Die. In the story, Veronika of course committed suicide and was brought in an asylum at Villete because during her time, anyone who was not behaving like any other people did was considered a loony. And they consider suicide as one of the “abnormal” behaviors.

Veronika then met Zedka inside the mental hospital. They became constant speaking partners. I used the term to indicate not friendship but just two people sharing ideas and words, sometimes even nonsensical.

The first time they spoke, Zedka tried to clarify Veronika in her question:

“What does it mean to be crazy?”

Zedka said:

“Anyone who lives in her own world is crazy. Like schizophrenics, psychopaths, maniacs. I mean people who are different from others.

“On the other hand, you have Einstein, saying that there was no time or space, just a combination of the two. Or Columbus, insisting that on the other side of the world lay not an abyss but a continent. Or Edmund Hillary, convinced that a man could reach the top of the Everest. Or the Beatles, who created an entirely different sort of music and dressed like people from another time. Those people – and thousands of others – all lived in their own world.”

She continued:

“A powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which all the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water would go mad.”

“The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policemen and the inspectors, however, had also drank the poisoned water, and they thought that the king’s decisions were absurd and resolved to take no notice of them.”

“When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard about these decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. they marched on the castle and called for his abdication.”

“In despair, the king prepared to step down from the throne, but the queen stopped him, saying: ‘Let us go and drink from the communal well. Then we will be the same as them.’

“And that was what they did: The king and the queen drank the water of madness and immediately began talking nonsense. Their subjects repented at once; now that the king was displaying such wisdom, why not allow him to continue ruling the country?”

“The country continued to live in peace, although its inhabitants behaved very differently from those of its neighbors. And the king was able to govern until the end of his days.”

With this story, Veronika laughed. And I bet, I laughed harder than she did.

Nuts?

Really absurd!

And then later on in the story, Zedka defined insanity as the inability to communicate one’s ideas.

“It’s as if you were in a foreign country, able to see and understand everything that’s going on around you but incapable of explaining what you need to know or of being helped, because you don’t understand the language they speak there.”

We have all felt that way once or twice – to some, maybe even more than what “normal” people may perceive the usual.

And basing it from the definition shared by Zedka, one way or another, all of us are insane.

I honestly am – everytime I keep myself inside myself, shouting… screaming… when there is no voice.

I honestly am – each moment I talk to my Mom… sharing her my dreams, my achievements, my fears and my failures, when she had died more than three years ago.

I honestly am – in those times I smile to myself when my kids come across my mind.

I honestly am – in moments when I shiver in Ronald’s imagined touch or with him just staring at me kilometers away from home.

I honestly am – in every strike of my fingertips when I write my blogs and my memory lags down a decade.

I honestly am – .won od I tahw ekil sdrawkcab sgniht od I nehw (when I do things backwards like what I do now.)

It’s fun you know… try it and be hilariously stupid. And have a healthy life!

Suggestions:

1. dress before putting on your undies (saves you from using some liners)2. drink a lot of water before you eat (at least you don’t eat much)3. gurgle, chew some toothpaste then brush your teeth (cool, right?)4. sleep in the morning and be an owl while your family is snoring (argh!)5. walk to your office with your back (I did this when they told me the back of my haircut looks nice and awful in the front)