Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Anticipation...It's Making Me Crazy

I'm not a patient person.

I hate waiting.

We have a few irons in the fire when it comes to employment. My husband has been offered a job on the West Coast near family, and we're seriously considering taking it. Meanwhile, I've interviewed here for a couple of jobs, and then I sit and wait...because answers never come in bundles. I can't accept something here if I'm moving there. I wait for an answer and a phone call that I know is coming, but nonetheless, I'm not patient about waiting, even while I'm doing it.

I've been in the newspaper business for most of my adult life, or working in some version of marketing and advertising when I wasn't at a newspaper.

I quit working for newspapers in 2001 when I moved to Denver, primarily because at that point in my life it had been ALL I'd ever done since I was 18, and I wanted to find out what the Real World was like.

Once I found out, I was happy to return to the newspaper business. It is unique in a lot of ways, in that it carries isn't just another business selling services, but is part of the social justice, government watchdog class of businesses, of which there are so very few and of which are so very important.

I got laid off from my last job in part because the business itself is changing -- and not necessarily for the better. People are choosing a million other ways to advertise, from Craigslist to CareerBuilder and Vehix.com, instead of running ads in the newspaper. Smaller newspapers=smaller staff, and I was one of them.

I am unsure of whether to continue in what is essentially, a dying business. I consider other options to use my journalism degree (besides blogging), and I wonder what lies ahead.

So I work on the house, I consider what I'd need to sell this place if we do move, and I start working on it, then wonder if I should bother since we're not 100% sure yet. Then I think I need to get moving because if we DO decide to go, we'll need the house on the market and it has to be ready.

Aren't I a fun circular thinker?

Anticipation. That song by Carly Simon keeps popping in my head. I have murderous thoughts of that big mouthed, toothy singer and the stupid Ketchup commercial that stole/borrowed/bought the song.

The one lyric keeps popping in my head: Anticipation...It's making me wait.

I may be doing it anyway, but it doesn't change the fact that I hate waiting.