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I am running out of reading material. Please comment if you have any more suggestions for ED books! xxx

Friday, 3 December 2010

THIN

By Lauren Greenfield

The book which goes alongside the film THIN, which can be seen on youtube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF0lAlo80fU. The book version includes stories from patients who were not seen on the film. The photography Lauren uses to convey the pain of these girls at times made me close to tears. Especially the self harm pictures. However, the acknowledgement of self harm in the book made me feel less alone. In my treament I have been treated as an anomaly because I self harm, and therefore they believe I will not respond to any treatment an Eating disorder service has to offer. This book, and many other books, show that self harm is common in eating disorders and it should be adressed with the ED, not separetely. Afterall, it is a symptom just like purgeing is; it is a way of dealing with the psychological pain of eating.I have not copied any images out of the book, as I am not sure how copyright works, but these are some pictures I found on google.

Left: Shelly with her P.E.G feeding tube.
Quotes from other residents:Cara - '...I didn’t want to feel anger. I didn’t want to feel loneliness. I didn’t want to feel unprotected. By not eating, I didn’t feel those things. But I didn’t feel anything else either.’Polly - ‘My stomach has started growling again. I can’t even tell you how many years it hasn’t done that. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t feel like I’m in my own body and it’s really, really weird.’Quinn - ‘I knew how thin I was. I could see bones sticking out. It was just never good enough for me. I think it all comes down to self-hatred issues.’Cathy - ‘When I came here, I was the only overeater, so I felt very alienated. But I was welcomed. The girls said I didn’t intimidate them, being overweight. It was only their own bodies they were concerned with.’Left: Polly at her mother's home. In the last chapter on Polly, she wrote ‘I just want to be happy. Before, when I was really sick with anorexia, I didn’t think I had anything worth living for. But now I’ve got too much I still want to do. I look forward to the rest of my life.’Reading this broke my heart, as I knew before reading the book that Polly did not survive beyond the age of 33. She died in her home from an overdose. Whether this was an accidental or intential overdose, I guess noone will ever know. But regardless, if it wasn't for her eating disorder, she would probably still be here :( xxx

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About Me

(November 2010) > I am taking a year (or two) out of university to recover from an eating disorder; originally diagnosed as restricting anorexia 7 years ago, but has more recently morphed into BN non-purgeing type/ BED/ COE/ EDNOS / whatever you want to call it.
I thought I would write a blog to give me a kind of project to work on, mainly giving an insight into the Eating Disorders books that I have read and any interesting articles/videos I find. However, there may be some updates on my life and thoughts once in a while.
My quest is to understand these disorders, although I know the best I can do is to keep on researching xxx
Update (2012): I have now returned to uni.