Guest Post: 7 Ways College Must Have Been Different When Cellphones Didn’t Exist

Nowadays, pretty much everyone has a cell phone. And if you don’t, I’m going to assume that you’re my grandma and say congrats for figuring out how to sign on the World Wide Web. Cell phones have become a such a big part of our lives that we view them as another body part. We all know that panicky feeling that you get when you realize you left your phone at home. Seriously, I think everyone would prefer to walk out of the house without pants rather than without a fully-charged phone.

So what was life like before cell phones? (Editor’s Note: Uh….horrific?!) Like, I’m talking about life even before Zack Morris ’80s cell phone. Sure, maybe life was livable without being in constant contact with everyone, but can you imagine college without a phone in your hand at all times?

1. How did people find each other at parties or bars? My friend, for a whole semester, was sans phone. It sucked having to find her out in public places. Navigating a crowded bar with no idea where to look is the opposite of fun. We would find her an hour into our night, just when she was leaving with a new guy. The only way to be sure that we would be with her for the night was to actually arrive with her, as in make a solid gameplan and follow through, and who can do that?

2. How did they talk sh*t about people without texting? Let’s be real, we’ve all been there. Sitting in class between that weird kid who clearly hasn’t showered for weeks and your BFF. Or talking to a creeper at a party and trying with all your might to get away from his creepy stare. Or spotting a girl’s thong sticking out of her jeans in lecture and just HAVING to share the image with someone…who happens to be sitting three rows away. Like any normal person, you take out your cell phone and text.

3. What did people drop in the toilet when they were drunk? How many times has your cell phone been victim to life destroying drunk escapades? Either being dropped in the toilet, thrown in a class of beer (to see if it would sink), or buried in a snow bank (for safe keeping, obviously). Actually..not having a cell phone, in this case, wouldn’t be too bad. I mean you’re bound to drop something, but it would probably be less expensive. Like, our parents probably worried about dropping their favorite quill pen in the outhouse when they were drunk off dry sherry.

4. What about the text saying you are sexiled? You know that text, the one you get while you’re walking back from class because it got out early and you get a text “I need like an hour..maybe two. Come back then?” Without a cell phone you might be seeing a little too much of your roommate…and a lot too much of that guy she’s been hooking up with from your floor.

5. Did people actually remember friends’ numbers? I’ve never been able to remember anyone’s number, it’s truly a miracle I even know my home phone number. Yes, there were address books and pens and pieces of paper…but for people who easily lose things (cough me cough) it wouldn’t have worked out so well.

6. What about the Cell Phone College Emergency Alert System? My school has recently (the past two years) implemented a new cell phone text/call emergency alert system. It keeps students up to date if there is a shooter on campus or severe weather headed our way. Without a cell phone this would have to be done over what, loud-speaker?! A messenger pigeon? The town crier?

7. Would you want to walk alone from your parked car in the dark without your cell phone?Whenever I have to walk from the library to a dark, empty parking lot I always talk on my cell phone – or fake it. And if I’m faking you better believe 911 is already typed in so I can easily hit my green little call button. In the earlier days walking back from your car would’ve been a little bit riskier and a lot more scary. On the other hand, Law and Order: SVU wasn’t playing reruns every two minutes, so people probably didn’t always always have attackers on their mind.

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