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July 02, 2010

Fear and Loathing in Port Charles

If you asked me to describe the current climate of Port Charles in one word, that word would be "HATE". And, surprisingly, the hate wouldn't be my own hatred of the show (maybe that's implied at this point...?), but the open hatred the characters on General Hospital have for each other, and for law enforcement in particular. Spinelli hates Dante. Dante's not fond of Spinelli. Carly hates Dante. Tracy hates Luke. And, most notably, Sonny hates Johnny, Johnny hates Sonny and most of the town hates police officers and federal agents.

Watching Sonny, Michael, Sam and Molly gather at Alexis's and cackle giddily over Jason's release was...well, it was something else.

Molly: So, did you guys see the press conference about Jason's release? Did Claire Walsh look like she had a lemon stuck in her mouth or what?! Sonny: Well, here's...the thing, that...must have made Claire Walsh...crazy, because Jason was her big...win and now Jason got...released.Michael: I mean, I got to hand it to Diane for playing it for all it's worth. Congratulating the feds on admitting their mistake. Molly: It was totally embarrassing.Sam: Are you kidding me? I loved every minute of it.

I know that I've had, like, a decade to get used to this regime's overt and pathological disdain for the American legal system, so things like this shouldn't surprise me, but I find it so off-putting when the writers rope Molly into their plans to prop couples, and the mafia, like they're saying, "Out of the mouths of babes, y'all! If a kid hates the police, you have to, too!"

Then there is the ongoing feud between Johnny and Sonny, which is going to drive the bulk of this summer's stories, I'm sure. Johnny is doing all he can to push Sonny's buttons, although he needn't try so hard; Sonny is prone to violent reactions and so filled with hatred of Johnny that all Johnny has to do is say, "Sup, Sonny? Did you catch the Mets game last night?" and Sonny would scream something unintelligibly along the lines of, "DON'T YOU KNOW I LIKE THE YANKEES, YOU PIECE OF CRAP?"

But Johnny is actively needling him, doing things like alluding to sex with Kristina.

Johnny: I see you guys have a slamming tiramisu on the menu, and that's Kristina's favorite dessert. Must be the brandy. Loosens her up. Guess we'll have to resort to ordering in, huh? It's not that bad. Kristina likes eating at home anyway. Shorter distance to the bedroom...

Sonny responded by looking completely confused.

"Back up a second, you lost me after 'slamming'."

And then poured Johnny's pasta dish all over his lap and coming up with what he thought was a cutting comeback.

Sonny: You don't have to pay for that. Because it's on the house.Johnny: Actually, it's on me. This isn't over!Sonny: You got that right, Johnnyyyyyy.

1.) Weirdest delivery of Johnny's name ever 2.) Way to be intimidating! I know that his unusual calmness was because he was probably envisioning Johnny getting blown to smithereens and it was providing him with a moment of zen, but come on! He's destroyed innocent barware for far less serious infractions. 3.) When Sonny is plotting and has a dangerous secret he, for some reason, plasters a scary smile on his face at the most random times and I find it seriously disturbing.

Hold me, I'm scared! Although, on the bright side, I only have to put up with the creepy smile for one more episode, because I know that the car bomb scheme is going to fail epically, bloodily and tragically and the smile will be replaced by an equally fake and creepy sad face for the next few months. "Can't wait!"

Comments

I haven't watched since the beginning of the "trial", so, yay me. But I happen to be home for a few minutes and decided to turn the tube on while I read this, just in time to see the brothers grim planting the car bomb and the camera cutting to Krissy holding the car keys. But I think you're wrong, Mallory. If Kristina gets blown up, it won't be the creepy sad face, it will be the angry face, accompanied by repetitive, mildly reworded versions of "But I didn't know she was in the car! It was supposed be Johnny!"

This could be GOOD! Maybe Kristina will be injured in the explosion, and need to go to the hospital. Then Sonny can cry and pray in the hospital chapel. Then _______ will come in, hold Sonny's hand, and Sonny will say, "Did I ever tell you about that time my mother married Deke?" Then _______ will assure Sonny that he is a good man. Lather, rinse...

ric's daughter is cheering Jason being released from prison! UGH! Molly needs to spend the summer with her father pronto. I am so glad to get my updates here-- GH depresses me. The utter lack of respect for law enforcement is terrible-- I had to stop watching-- I keep hoping it improves....but alas with Guza as head writer it never will.....

This ep is a real downer :( A little more levity (of the non-psychotic variety) would be nice. I want to jump off a bridge after I watch sometimes.
Especially all the HATE. It's just too much.
Though, I will freely admit Franco was worth a few guffaws this week.
I get it's not a comedy, but it's freakin' depressing and not enjoyable. They need more contrast.
This blog however, is expertly written and makes me laugh out loud. :)

People were not allowed to call me between 2 and 3 pm Monday through Friday since the mid-late nineties. Now I try to plan a shower or shopping trip or laundry or ANYTHING to keep myself from watching GH. It's just so awful, even during sweeps, and I am tired of the feeling of self-loathing I inflict upon myself when I get sucked in for even a half hour. I wish I could quit GH but I can't. It's like a drug-habit. Fortunately, I have you guys recapping and hating right along with me. Thanks for saving me an hour a day. Let me know when Guza gets fired so I can turn my tv back on.

Is it wrong of me that I want Kristina to get blown up just a little bit?? At the very least, blow some sense into her? The spoiled brat routine is REALLY getting annoying. I'm not entertained, and as much as I loathe Sonny, Kristina's constant whining and acting like one of those bitches on "My Sweet 16" doesn't really make me want to root for her either.

The best of ALL scenarios would have been if it was a timed bomb. Johnny drives Kristina home. Everyone who has just been guffawing at how HILARIOUS it was that law enforcement was foiled again comes running out to yell at Kristina for lying and BOOM. Everyone is at least knocked loopy by the percussion and they all come to in the hospital, realizing that crime is bad, following the law is good and all vow to hate Sonny for all eternity.

Molly needs to go to L.A. for the summer and spend some quality time with her father. It baffles me that there is a Lansing in Port Charles who doesn't carry around deep-seated hatred for Sonny.

I, too, thought Sonny's use of Johnny's name was weird....and uncomfortable.

Not that I was paying that much attention to the show, but Jason's release is supposed to be temporary (not that I'm naive enough to believe he'll actually go back to prison after this Franco crap) and he did plead guilty, so what "mistake" did the feds make?