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Patrick: What does that button do?
Stacey: That’s the button that makes it look like it’s actually on the page.
Michael: No, it’s the button that I don’t know what it does, but it makes me feel better when I press it.

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Alan: Is this supposed to be “Housing Guide 2011-2012”? It’s for the 2012-2013 school year.
Courtney: Yeah.
Michael: How about just “Housing Guide 2012”?
Courtney: Then it doesn’t fill the space and I have to come up with more words.
Michael: “Housing Guide for 2012”?
Nick: How about “Housing Guide five 2012”?

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Michael: It’s how to reconstruct the Tartan if there’s nothing but the constitution and bylaws.
Madelyn: It’s like the Tartan apocalypse. Everyone on the Tartan quits because of the Pillbox cover.
(Allison turns around looking horrified.)
Christa: The look on Allison’s face was awesome.

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(Discussing a board ed about student government’s inaction)
Emily: I think the point is that they get a $10,000 budget… what are they doing with it?
Anna: Embezzling.
Emily: Embezzling.
Michael: That is NOT the opinion of the Tartan.