Friday, August 27, 2010

When Is An Endorsement Not An Endorsement ?

Via @bengoldacre on Twitter, the Greenwich & Lewisham News Shopper made a bizarre Christian anti-gay rant its "Star Letter", as you can see here. However my favourite bit is that the newspaper tweeted :

"By the way, just because the letter wins the pen, it's in no way an endorsement of from us of the author's views"

As pointed out in the linked blog,

"Except that by calling it the "Star Letter" and giving it a prize, it looks exactly like an endorsement of the author's views"

So far so LOL. But what actually made me blog about this is it reminded me of an old "Hand Of The Month" in Poker Europa (remember that ?). Enthusiastic reader Mr. R. Brindley sent in a description of some pisspoor angle shot which enabled the hero to mincash in his local £20 freezeout. A few people posted to the effect of "that's super lame" on the Poker In Europe forum, only to be silenced by Nic Szeremata's clarification that "Hand Of The Month" did not in fact constitute the best hand of the month, but just a hand that happened that month.

I often wondered what happened to Nic. Perhaps he has found a home in the Greenwich and Lewisham News Shopper.

Monday, January 04, 2010

How Low Can We Go

Here in my ivory tower I don't have a TV and so I am spared the worst of it. However, Victoria Coren linked to a clip of Peaches Geldof talking about the Large Hadron Collider which, I'm sure you'll agree, sounded too good to miss.

The actual clip was contained in Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe Review of 2009. Apparently, according to a comment on YouTube (must be true then obv) some band has a song entitled "Charlie Brooker Is Right About Everything", and I have yet to find any evidence disproving this. He is right about everything. Anyway, this review contains some truly horrendous TV - I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad. We have the aforementioned Peaches Geldof being interviewed by the only person in the country stupider than her ; the footage of the 10 year old bursting into tears on Britain's Got (No) Talent, which is a lot more worrying than I thought it would be ; Nick Griffin on Question Time ; and what we can only describe as A Tale Of Two Paedos.

In Part 1, we are treated to a seance with Michael Jackson, who wants to tell the world, through the medium of the, er, medium, that the tabloids are full of "lies, lies and more lies". Yeah, says Brooker of the spiritualist, you really hate people making stuff up, in a tone that would cause any sarcasm detector within 800 yards to explode comedically. Anyway, Jackson fans in the seance get to share their love with the singer who has ceased to be, tears of joy all round.

The paedo in Box Number Two (so to speak) does not get off so lightly. Really, you have to watch this, I had no idea TV was now this bad. Apparently there was a full scale dramatisation entitled "The Execution Of Gary Glitter", mock trial, people like Gary Bushell commenting as if it was real, long walk to the hangman's rope, the lot. The only redeeming feature was the classic suspenseful courtroom scene "have you reached a verdict - Yes your honour", the suspense of which must have been somewhat lessened for anyone who could remember the title of the show. Which probably wasn't many of the people watching so there you go.

Anyway, check out the clips and I'm now catching up on the previous episodes of Screenwipe on YouTube, if I can stand the horror !

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

I Had That Osama Bin Laden In The Back Once

"In the end it turned out that the information [about Iraq being capable of launching WMDs within 45 minutes] was not credible, it had originated from an emigre taxi driver on the Iraqi-Jordanian border, who had remembered an overheard conversation in the back of his cab a full two years earlier."

Tune in next year as we invade Iran based on a conversation with a hairdresser which turns out to be about a film they saw on TV.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Woman Decides To Stop Living In Jungle, Eating Shit And Generally Being Humiliated

In more snappy tabloidese, Jordan Quits. Or as I gather from looking at the headlines while queueing in the supermarket, Jordan quit a day or two ago and now we've moved on to "Exclusive : The Real Reason Jordan Quit". While I haven't read the tabloids in question [1], and so the real reason might actually match the real real reason (see my title), I suspect it probably doesn't.

While reality TV doesn't normally feature in my relaxing downtime schedule, I did happen to catch some of the programme at the weekend. And what I didn't realize is that each week you the public get to vote on which particular victim, sorry I mean celebrity, gets to be demeaned in a cruel and vindictive manner. And in this particular series, Jordan has been picked something like six times in a row.

Does this remind you of anything ? Let's all pick on the weakest link repeatedly, make them eat bugs and stuff, until they break, then we all laugh ? Victims putting up with it because any attention is better than being ignored ? Two class clowns adding their own hilarious commentary and the passive majority sucking it all in because they have nothing better to do, and it feels good that it's not them everyone's pointing and laughing at ? But it's just a bit of fun sir. Yes, this entire country is 12 years old. Or in prison. I've never been in prison so I can't be entirely sure but I went to school and it sounds much the same [2]. This is a sick and rotten culture. Sick and rotten to the core.

PS While I'm here, I saw a back page headline "Wenger In Foul-Mouthed Rant At Theo". Or in other words, Football Manager Swears At Player. Slow news day ?

[1] In the interests of research, I probably should buy The Sun or The Mail one day and read it cover to cover. Just to see how ill it makes me feel.

[2] IIRC, Stephen Fry said that prison was much the same as public school, except the food was better.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Listening

There was an interesting example of my point below in "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" on the last episode of 2 Months 2 Million. Here's a link, it's right at the end (10:00)

Basically someone suggests that Brian "Flawless Victory" [1] Roberts actually lets them finish what they're saying before interjecting with his own social analysis. Roberts replies "It's not my fault that these people can't talk and listen at the same time. That's standard for people of my ilk".

Sadly, it probably is. Yes, one can talk and listen at the same time ; if one is simply stating or re-stating one's own opinion rather than actually responding to what the other person says. And even if you're not actually responding, it's polite to make it look as though you are. However, when your typical response to something you don't agree with is to stick your tongue out and shout "UNH UNH UNH UNH", as is the case here, maybe that wouldn't work anyway.

If you haven't seen this series, it's a bit of an eye-opener. Three of the guys (Ansky being the exception IMO) come across as more and more unlikeable with each episode. I know TV documentaries can distort (and will whenever they can) but that's the risk you take when you sign up for one. If that's the balla lifestyle, you're welcome to it.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Michael : We even finish each other's -Lindsey : - sandwiches !

I picked up Don't Sweat The Small Stuff a couple of days ago. It's really good, highly recommended. I might not follow every single tip (getting up at 4am may well help you to find some quiet time if you have a family and a job but it hardly seems necessary for me), but there's some really good advice in there. Interestingly, tip number 47, "Argue For Your Limitations And They're Yours", is exactly what I'm trying to say in the post below, but expressed much better.

The one that really made me start though was "Breathe Before You Speak", or to explain further, let the other person finish what they're saying before you answer. This is a really bad habit that I have had pretty much forever. I jump in on top of people to either finish their sentences or say what I want to say ASAP, especially in groups of more than 2 people. I even do this on the phone. I know why I have it too. When I was growing up, at the kitchen table or wherever, if you so much as let the other person finish their question, never mind pause to think of the answer, someone else would answer it for you. So, I apologise to everyone I've done this to (and it's pretty much everyone I've ever interacted with) and I'll try not to do it in future. If conversations keep fading into embarrassing silences then I'll reconsider, but I doubt they will.