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Evan George

Nothing satiates the sentient like the gooey, almost raw central mass of a freshly baked sweet roll. As true seekers of new ways to sedate each other with homebaked carbs, we flipped the Cinnabon on its noggin' one New Year's Day and whipped up what has become our favorite recipe for savory rolls. Take everything sweet about a cinnamon roll and invert it: soft sweet bread becomes tart and savory, gooey brown-sugar butter morphs into salty caramelized shallot goo, and frosting slumps into melted aged cheese. Yeah this will take a few hours to a day … but it will hurt your friends and lovers in the most wonderful way.

In winter, the section of our cupboard devoted to onions seems to grow exponentially, filled with all forms of eye-dripping lovelies: red and white onions, shallots, massive white-bulbed scallions. Grilling a sack of onions down to a cereal bowl of caramelized noodles is a rare fall pleasure. And few pillars of French cooking are as widely and voraciously loved as scalding hot onion soup cloaked in a blistering layer of melted Gruyère. But like with many epic dishes canonized by the cuisine of rural folk, vegetarians usually remain wholly uninvited. So how does one mitigate the beef stock in every single recipe of the gooiest of soups? Our "ah-ha moment" was beer. After trying small batches of all three colors of the proverbial tricolore (blue, white, and red) we settled on Chimay Blue, a dubbel style beer that's become a household name for boozers. This so-called grande réserve, or any other basic dubbel, is a super substitute for the essence of animal gore. The malts and sugars play on your tongue in a way that's strikingly similar to the flavor of liquefied fat and tendon.

Editor's note: Use this recipe to make Alex Brown and Evan George's Savory Rolls .
The next best thing to foraging your own wild mushrooms and huffing their death-matter musk from a Hobbitshire-like hillside in NorCal while your guide trips on psilocybin shrooms is (obviously) slurping crispy hot shrooms right out of the cast-iron skillet they were cooked in. Admittedly, it's a distant second. But it still feels nasty. Thanks to the whole steak joint steeze revival, its now totally acceptable to eat out of cast-iron. Here we do a mushroom mélange of various shapes, sizes, textures, and prices. Omit and add as you like, especially if you actually get to forage for wild ones.