What’s On Tonight: The Last ‘Whitney’ Ever, Maybe?

Whitney (NBC, 8 p.m.) – Season finale. And maybe series finale. The show still hasn’t been picked up for another season yet, which is kind of saying something given what a total disaster NBC’s lineup is right now. Most experts and blowhards are giving it a 50-50 chance of surviving, so there’s a very real chance that tonight’s back-to-back episodes will be the show’s last. Vaya con dios, I say.

Psych (USA, 10 p.m.) – Tonight is Psych‘s 100th episode, and to celebrate they are doing a Clue-themed murder mystery that viewers can affect the outcome of by voting on Twitter and the show’s website. If anyone needs me, I will be spending all night tweeting “WHAT IF AN ALIEN DID IT????” over and over and over. I doubt it will work, but it’s certainly worth a shot.

Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10 p.m.) – RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINEZ. A female sports reporter (Lauren Cohan from The Walking Dead) gets pregnant after her cameraman rapes her, which leads to a big whole thing about “legitimate rape.” I’m sure SVU will handle this issue with the subtlety and respect it deserv- [Ice-T kicks down door and yells at people then everyone dies of STDs THE END]

Modern Family/Suburgatory (ABC, 9 p.m.) – Fred Willard returns as Phil’s dad on Modern Family. A bunch of other stuff happens too, presumably. But that’s the story here.

Southland (TNT, 10 p.m.) – Don’t know if we’ve mentioned this here, but Southland star Ben McKenzie has already signed on as the lead in a new CBS pilot, which I’ve gotta believe is bad, bad news for Southland.

The Real World: Portland (MTV, 10 p.m.) – Season 28 premiere. Never forget that someone from this show went on to become WWE champion. Never.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Bruce Willis and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on Kimmel; Donald Trump and Gary Gulman on Letterman; Don Rickles and Radha Mitchell on Ferguson; Kristen Chenoweth and magician Justin Willman on Leno; Kathie Lee Gifford and James Purefoy on Fallon; Eva Mendes on Stewart; and Seth Green and Charles Phoenix on Conan.

I’ll burn it in effigy. No, honestly I think both of those shows are in a pretty good place in terms of appropriate end times. I’d miss them, but I wouldn’t be mad about it. Well, I’d be kind of mad about Parks, because that could probably go on for many more years and stay great; but it wouldn’t really feel like it was gone too soon, either.

I’m with Shabz on this. Community is actually more decent-er than people make it out to be, but I could live with it getting cancelled. And dare I say Parks isn’t what it used to be. It peaked in Season 3, and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees. It’s still GOOD, but I don’t think it’s GREAT anymore.

As someone who has seen the movie Clue like 30 times and could probably recite 90% of the dialogue, especially the Wadsworth lines, I am both excited for Psych tonight and irritated that Tim Curry is non involved.

Southland rules. A few episodes ago when they came upon a house and it looked like a horror movie killer threw a person off a balcony like a ragdoll…that part honestly made meyell out, “HOLY FUCK!” But it turned out to be some kids making a movie. Regardless, that part was burned into my brain.

Real World: Portland…Portland? Portland, Oregon? Oregon? That’s the state everyone forgets on the 50 state test in 9th grade.

Whitney is a crappy show, but I would date the hell out her in real life.

Low and Order: SVU. Just give it up. The main character is getting up there in the age. When I watch a rape show, I want to know that the main character is rapeable. Sorry, I know rape is a TOUCHY subject.

Modern Family is tired. That little Lily asian girl is so obnoxiously a bad actress that she basically breaks the 4th wall in how obvious it is that she has no idea what is happening.