So M1 was sitting at the table last night when everyone was doing there homework and looked sad. Now this is unusual she is a bright girl but she is a teen so drama is not something unfamiliar to me, but today feels different. I ask what is up and initially she says “Nothing” Now we have been together for the last nine years and yes my dear you are lying right now but I let it go maybe it is just drama….More time passes and she is thinking…My mom senses are tingling something serious is up. So I try a new approach

“Honey I can see something is bothering you. I won’t make you tell me or pressure you BUT if you let me know what is happening MAYBE I can be of help”

She sighed and sort of shoved a paper at me. I take it and read it and want to scream it says

1. What is the meaning of your name?

2. How did your parents pick your name?

3. What meaning is attached to your name is it a family name?

Inside I hurt for her. She is so rejected right now….there is no way we can answer the last two questions. We just don’t know. M1 looks at me and sighs, I will make some stuff up I guess she says. Again I hurt for her I just want to take this pain away and I am hating on the school right now. How can they be so freaking dense? I know I am over sensitive but I love her and she hurts right now.

I think for a minute. Yes I know her Mom and yes I could ask but as always it will cost me emotionally because her Mother is a beast to deal with. I grab the big girl pants, pull them on and get onto Facebook. I message Mom and explain what I am looking for and why then I pray. Please let Mom be in a good space, please let her be taking her meds and PLEASE protect me from the potential onslaught of demands for information. Seconds later a response and a list of requests first from Mom…mostly photos so good so far. She ends up answering the question without too much over drama and I feel vastly relieved.

M1 walks out of the shower oblivious to what I have just done and goes to her room. I ask “How much do you love me?” with an obvious grin on my face. She replies “It depends why?” I laugh and reply “Wrong answer” and she laughs. A minute later she comes out and says “OK ok I love you lots now why do I love you?” also looking amused. I relay to her what I did and the answer I got and she looks stunned. She shakes her head and stares hard at me. Finally she looks at me and says “Thanks Mom I appreciate that” and smiles.

Gosh, I’m dreading such an assignment. I’ve already had a chat with the English teacher about our situation and she seems very sensitive about making sure that Hope and I are supported and not othered. You are a champ for reaching out to Mom.