Living in a dreamworld??

Okay.....gfgd called yesterday and said she wanted to drop off items she'd "borrowed" while packing her stuff a few months ago when she left....I said fine no goth though.

She came about an hour later looking normal(for her) for a change and my little boy went nuts, climbed all over her and just hugged like crazy....she seemed fine with that. My other two girls kinda ignored her to a certain point, they just went about their business.

Her dad didn't speak to her aside from a hello.....

She'd been here a little bit, talking about the girls in the home(she really can't get along with anyone, complained about them all) and I let her talk....

I asked how SHE was doing...she said okay now that she is in a safe enviroment away from the abuse....I nearly bit my tongue out of my head not responding to that statement!!! Anyway, I mentioned the letter I'd gotten from the home regarding her "plans" for the future....and all hell broke loose.

She denied ever telling the home director that she plans to move out on her own, that she is allowed to stay there until she can financially stand on her own two feet, etc etc...

I said that the letter stated quite plainly that she'd decided we, her family, were not to be involved in any conversations regarding her plans/future/etc, that it went on to state she'd be asked to leave the home once she turned 18(govt funding ends at that age).....

She sat there and called me a liar several times, didn't believe me, that I was a and needed my head looked at....I calmly asked her to leave.....she slapped my face and believe me the urge to deck her was VERY strong but I didn't give in...

I did however call the home and tell them she'd left here after assaulting me and verbally attacking me....their response was she must be reacting to something from the past. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif I said nooooo, she was po' ed because I showed her the letter you sent me about her being asked to leave at 18 and she was caught in a lie about what she was doing/not doing.....THAN I told him she is no longer welcomed here, no calls, no visits.....I will not accept calls from her primary care nor the director.

She's bloody lucky I don't have her charged with assault. She wants to be an adult in an adult world for which she isn't mature enough to handle...too bad she has to learn the hard way but I am not giving in....

The conversation with her primary care yesterday has given me pause though....he finally wised up to the fact that she is telling them what they want to hear...you all know, "yes I want a relationship with my family, yes I want to go home eventually" etc etc and telling me something different

By the by....i managed to blow $500 this weekend....treated myself to some nice NEW clothes for a change and had my hair cut and coloured for the first time in five years....I feel like a different person and the admiring glances from my cute neighbour certainly helped

Carolanne,
I'm sorry for all the drama and violence from difficult child. Did any other family members witness the assault? I'd be inclined to seek some kind of restraining order against her, but that might require you to press charges. I can only imagine the deep pain this has caused you.

What a disaster! Yes, there's no question that visitations should be stopped immediately, Carolanne.

Because of the volatility of your encounters, I would strongly urge you to document everything. If your posts here are a journal of sorts, print them out and keep them in a file somewhere. Your difficult child seems like a cannonball ready to burst.

By the by....i managed to blow $500 this weekend....treated myself to some nice NEW clothes for a change and had my hair cut and coloured for the first time in five years....I feel like a different person and the admiring glances from my cute neighbour certainly helped

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Carolanne, that was the best thing you could have done ~ not only for yourself, but for your husband, your other children, and even difficult child.

you've set very clear boundries & made them plain to the people in the group home. no worries....her lies will catch up with-her there. if you have a witness to her assault i would persue an order of protection if you can do that with-any ease up there.

even better you took a weekend & pampered yourself!!! nothing makes a woman feel better than a new do!

As Suz recommended, I know keep hard copies of all my writing here...have them burned to a cd in fact. I also contacted a lawyer regarding a protection order against gfgd....he said it might just blow up in my face but is willing to go to the group home and get in gfgd's face and scare the bejesus out of her and the director as well.

He's also looking into having her legally declared a danger to herself based on her myspace site were she constantly writes about suicide and hurting others. I've given him copies of all my files, papers and contact numbers for anyone who has ever been involved with gfgd and the family. He thinks we may be able to go after the hospital because they may have been derelict in their treatment of her....she obviously got worse in there and managed to slip by the so called experts.

All in all, having finally washed my hands of the drama and instability of contact with her for at least six months, my shoulders don't seem as weighted down now. It's strange but I am sleeping better now and laughing more...go figure