Monday Intentions 03.12.2018

I am slowly but surely regaining my mental faculties. Though it seems like I need to pay for every good day with a day of almost nonstop drowsiness. It’s kind of a bizarre frame of mind to be in. I don’t WANT to nap all day, but I can’t keep myself awake. And then the next day I’m super functional again. It’s weird. More ups and downs.

On a random note, I’ve been so obsessed with Mantra Bands for the last few months. I recently purchased my fourth one – in rose gold! (this is a big deal for me lol) – specifically to wear during this time of healing. Pictured above, it felt like the perfect reminder to myself that I don’t need to be able to walk in order to fly. I still have my wings! Being laid up right now totally sucks, but I am still capable of doing great things. Anyway, motivational reminders right on my wrist are pretty great.

So! This week! I meant to write a post yesterday, and just couldn’t get motivated. I felt pretty dull and mopey yesterday. But I guess things are looking up right now. I just had my second post op appointment to get my staples removed. It hurt SO much more than I thought it would! In this resting position, I’m in more pain than I’ve probably been in in a week. I hope it fades! According to the physician’s assistant I’m healing really well. Incisions look good, swelling is going down, bruising is pretty minimal. I’m still not weight bearing for at least another month, but I do get to start physical therapy in two weeks to keep my ankle from getting too stiff. The most exciting news is that I have to wait another day for my next shower, but I won’t have to use the leg bag anymore! I’m glad I had it these last two weeks, but it cuts my circulation off so bad and kind of ruins the joy of getting clean!

I don’t have any lofty ambitions for the week because rest and keeping my leg elevated are still the most important factors in getting better. But I do have a few goals for myself.

Reach for a book instead of my phone.
I’ve been wasting so much brain space looking at facebook and instagram over and over and over again. It’s really doing nothing positive for my mind because it only depresses me to see people out and about living their lives while I’m stuck at home.

Finish three custom order dolls.
Greg encouraged me to spend a little bit of time working yesterday, and I did. When I’m feeling great, I probably only have 1-2 hours left to complete three of the four dolls people paid me for before I got hurt (the fourth will require me to use the sewing machine, which I’m not sure I’m ready for yet). So if I get a burst of energy in the next few days I’d LOVE to get those finished and mailed.

Write something every day.
I’ve totally abandoned my bullet journal since I broke my ankle. So I’d like to make an effort to start writing in it every day again, even if only a couple of sentences. I’d love to catch up on blog posts too, but they’re easier to write on my real computer with my real mouse, so I’m not sure I’m up for the hours it will take to write those book posts. We’ll see.

There’s nothing terribly exciting on the calendar. Well, usually it’s holiday week with Pi Day on the 14th, Ides of March on the 15th, Guster Day on the 16th, and St. Patrick’s Day on the 17th. My neighbor brought over a pie this afternoon, so we’ll be set for Pi Day! I’m hoping by Saturday I might feel okay enough to make soda bread. Or talk Greg through making it. I don’t care about any other traditional Irish food, but I really want that soda bread!

I think Greg will go into work again on Wednesday, with my mom coming to babysit me again. 🙂 Maybe he’ll go Thursday too and I’ll try my hand at being alone. I think I can handle it. Getting food will still be tricky, but we have a pretty full fridge after the wonderful help of friends again, so I’m sure I can find something simple. We’ll get through this.

And that’s about it! Just trying to stay positive and drag myself out of the pits I inevitably fall into at least once a day. It’s hard feeling like such a burden. It’s hard giving up all my freedom. It’s hard knowing it takes me a ridiculous amount of time to do the simplest tasks I always took for granted in the past. But I’ll get there.