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Happy Dance indeed, I am so happy that things have calmed down. You have shown many of us that when there is a Will, there is always a way. I am happy he is better, and that things are relaxing in you life. hugs... D

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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge

I am not sure how to process all of this, but I am. William got back from the doctor visit and told me "Eric I am happy, you should be happy to". I was a bit apprehensive to ask what that meant. Last night as we lay in bed, he told me what the doctors told him. They are really unsure what caused all of his systems to go out of balance, gallbladder, liver, pancreas. After 16,000 dollars worth of labs, tests and hospital stays they could not find any cancer, cysts, tumors and nothing to be alarmed about. They also said at this point they see no reason for biopsies as all of these systems are returning to normal operation. They do have one more test to run which is a genetic test regarding liver operation, but they feel it will come back negative (cross my fingers). Here we go again, no diagnosis but he is getting better.. I am glad he is hooked back up into the health care system. He has found two doctors that he trusts and all 3 of them are sharing information. He will go to Denver soon and discuss all this with Ben.

I feel relieved and perhaps we are out of the hot water for awhile. I have not talked about what this past six months has been for me. It was like a trip thru hell and I hated every second of it. I need to better understand this fear I have of loss because I know more is on the horizon. Its just life. Ben asked me to see his friend in the next building who is a psychologist who worked in San Francisco in the 80-90's and worked completely with gay couples going through alot more difficult circumstances than I. I will see him next week when I go to Denver for my checkup. I want to learn how to react better, accept better and understand why I think the way I do. I am also going to get back into my program again and see if that helps me.

Lastely the power of prayer and positive thoughts got us through this and I thank each and everyone for keeping us in your thoughts. It worked!! I am forever in all of your debt for simply taking the time to say "we are with you Eric".