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Author
Topic: What I have just done... (Read 34196 times)

This isn't the first time I've tried to do this. Slashing wirst, cuttoing deep into my skin with a sharp serated hunting kife. Hell, I've even put the my postil in my mouth before only for it to be taken away from me.

Now it's a chance to let the meds do thermagic. What has been done is done there is no going back now. I feel the medications starting to work.

I just chewed 24 2MG lorazepam, 30 25mg Amitriptyline & 10 25mg seroquel. All chased down with a pint of good old standby Absolute vodka. I hope I get the result I'm looking for.

If I die this post serves as my last statement to the world. I can't go on living the way I feel about myself, the damage that HIV has done to my body, mind & spirit. I'm not worthy to be around such loving, compassionate people as the lot of you are. I feel as if I am the boil on the butt of humanity that keeps comming back. I try to work on myself, therapy that didn't work, antipressants didn't work, a great HIV doc but he can only help me so much. I feel like everything I worked for healtwise the last 3 years has all been for nothing. The struggle of trying to work. I just can't seem to get along well with others so I am back to working at home with the law firm. I hate that job. I called 127 accounts today and didn't even manage to get one person to pay on their bill. My supervisor tells me I'm too nice, that I should be more forceful in getting the debtors to pay. I see that another way. Wouldn't it be better to kill them with kindness and undertatanding while at the same time encouraging them to pay their bill so it won't be reported to the credit reporting agencies? I have a soft voice that isn't suited to the collections field. I have tried different collecting techniques that I have learned but none of them to work for me.

My family will be hurt bu what I have just done, but I can't be concerned about that anymore. Danny is alone is this journey. I don't care what happens to my "stuff" they can throw it away. While they are at :

1. I do not want a funeral or visitation, flowers or a grave side service of any kind. My casket will be closed. If someone wants to send flowers or food they can make a donation to RIFA (food bank for indigent peple in my area }or a donation to and HIV/AIDS service organization on my behalf.

All I want to do is go to sleep and find peace with myself, I can't find ithatwhere else.

This post or decsion has nothing to do with my lates disgreement with Steve. Anction like this has been iin my mind for the last 25 years. No more HAART requardless of what the out comeDan Jones2000 years poz May 21, 1986 Died July 27,2006

When I am in my box I would like to wear my AMG 2006 Montreal t shirt & my favorite pair of jeans.

This is real, I took the medications 15 minutes ago... Now I will be able to be free or if not free then maybe brain dead in coma would work fine for me too. I don't care either one of those 2 options are better than what I feel now

I don't remenber calling you & if I did it was on my cell phone & I recently changed that number * mailing address. It is not your resposibity to take such actions. I don't know you from flip. Please do ,e a favor and just go live you life and let me end mine the way I see fit. It's my life. I have that right.

I have all my shit packed in a pod outside my home...it's going to take me an hour to get past all the furniture to my office shit.... Someone in the mean time please if you have his # that is all you need to give to the police at the said number..

Yes. They may know where he would go if the police don't intersect him on 6th street.

Logged

Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Anybody know him well enough to confirm that he does drive a Black Honda Civic?

Logged

Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

I called the emergency room in Jackson and they told me to call the sherriffs department which I have done. He said he thought the police department had received a call about this. He took my number and said he would see what he could find out. Anymore suggestions??

I checked the fatal doses of the three drugs. The Seroquel dose he took his nothing; lorazepam fatal dose in adults has to be as high as 1.85 gms, and he's taken a fraction of that; the real worry is the amitriptyline, toxixity/fatality at 750. Plus the vodka. They need to find him within the next 2 to 4 hours.

Logged

Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Dan's parents, police, and sheriff have all been notified...please do not call them again. They are getting confused by the number of calls coming in. I have given them all his phone numbers, address and make and model of car...they have run his tags and are in contact with his parents. Remain calm and I will let everyone know as soon as I hear.

I had a long talk with Dan's mom. The police have talked to Dan on the phone. There is not anything more we can do...his parents know where he is. His mom assures me he is okay and is going to call me if there is a problem.

Thsi is making me crazy, I just hung up with him and he told me he is out on some road out of the city limits.He told me he has not and will not speak with his parents. Do you guys think he is lieing to me. I just feel helpless but don't know what else to do?

I hope I am right...but yes he is lying. The police and his father have talked to him on the phone. That I know for sure. I hope he is not lying to the police, parents, and you. If he is, then there is nothing we can do. Remain calm...I will let you know as soon as I know.