IF last week’s local elections have taught us one thing, it is that Londoners are a bunch of complete halfwits.

Sorry if that seems like a wild generalisation, people of London, but the man you’ve just elected as your mayor in what I can only describe as an act of collective insanity has a history of dismissing entire cities with glib comments like that, so I assume you won’t mind.

I know that the choices were not exactly great and that millions of you didn’t vote for Boris Johnson, but still 1,168,738 of you did and the rest of Britain is scratching its head now and wondering just what the heck you were thinking.

Boris is great fun on the telly, of course, and adds a bit of colour to public life. Hurrah for Boris. But the same could be said – even more so, in fact – for Harry Hill, Girls Aloud or Pingu the cartoon penguin and we ain’t electing them to positions of responsibility in local government any time soon.

Maybe you believe the Daily Telegraph line that Boris is “refreshingly non-PC”, by which I assume they mean that he cheats on his wife, uses words like “picaninnies” and discusses getting newspaper reporters beaten up by old school chums. It’s judgements like that make me long to nail my colours to the mast of political correctness no matter what its shortcomings.

There’s always the possibility, I suppose, that Londoners have cunningly elected Boris Johnson as their mayor to unmask the true face of Toryism, that for every one David Cameron, looking polished and saying all the right things, there are a bunch of old duffers who think they’re God’s gift and look down on everyone stupid enough to live in the provinces.

But then it is possible too that Londoners are just completely stupid. Londoners I can think of off the top of my head include Ian Wright, Danny Baker and Ricky from EastEnders so I might be onto something here.

I’m not sure whether former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie is a Londoner, but he’s certainly an idiot who last year claimed that the nation’s wealth was all created by people in London and the south-east of England.

On the contrary, I would argue that it’s actually people in the rest of the country that make the wealth for the City of London to process – they should be thanking us and tugging their forelocks when in our presence.

That’s a sweeping generalisation, I know, but it’s not like people who voted for Boris Johnson have got any grounds to complain.