Life Checkin

Sorry it’s been a while. Work has been kind of crazy and I just haven’t felt up to writing. I’ve been working some different shifts and they’ve totally screwed up my sleep cycle.

I closed for almost a week, so I was working until 1 a.m. By the time I got home and wound down enough from work to go to sleep it was usually between 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. And I didn’t usually sleep in that long, so I was pretty exhausted for a week. Then I was supposed to switch to morning shifts, but ended up having to pull one more closing shift first.

Tuesday I worked from 7 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. and then had to go back at midnight to do another eight hour shift in a different department. So I worked from midnight until 8:30 a.m. this morning. It’s easy to imagine how exhausted I was. Even though I had gotten in a bit of a nap before going back at midnight it wasn’t enough and I was still incredibly worn out by the time I got home.

I tried to sleep when I got home, but I got a call from my dad just as I was drifting off. He wanted to check in since we hadn’t talked in a while and it was good to hear from him. I didn’t mind that he stopped me from napping for a bit. I finally went to sleep around 10 a.m. and slept until about 1 p.m.

I treated myself to pizza today after the crazy shifts I had yesterday/today. Two eight hour shifts in just over 24 hours was really tough on my feet. They still hurt in fact and it’s almost 7 p.m. They were throbbing when I crawled into bed this morning and I think that’s part of why it took me so long to drift off to sleep.

On the vegan front I’ve been doing okay. I’m still not going 100%, but I have a feeling I might always be that way. We shall see. I definitely do my best to avoid meat and other animal products when it’s easy enough to do so. Pizza is the hardest for me. It’s too expensive to order pizza all the time and the vegan pizzas with cheese on them that I have access to at my store are disgusting. We only have one brand, daiya, and I dislike it greatly. I’m sorry to those of you that love it, but I don’t want my cheese to taste like coconut.

So when I buy a frozen pizza it usually at least has cheese on it. Sometimes chicken too because of the types of pizza I like, but overall that’s pretty much the only times I really eat not vegan. Most everything else is pretty darn close. I’ve cut down a lot on the mayo and I’ve found that I don’t really miss it as long as I have a good mustard or other sauce to go on things.

I got my hair cut the other day. Nothing major, just a trim and shape up. And I bought a box of dye to change the color. It looks pretty good, it’s way darker than it was before. So far people at work seem to like it and I enjoy it quite a bit. I miss my fun bright colors though. I wish I were allowed to have the funky colors at work, but it just isn’t allowed. And if I’m 100% honest I’m a little worried about damaging my hair again and having to go through the cutting it off and growing it back out process.

I’ve been super lazy because of all the odd work shifts. I haven’t really gotten anything done around the house in the last couple of weeks. I feel guilty, but I just can’t seem to make myself do much. I’ve got to get my ass back in gear. I work the morning shift again tomorrow and then am off on Friday, so I’m hoping to get a lot of things in order on Friday since I won’t be so tired. Or shouldn’t be. I’ll be off work at 3:30 in the afternoon tomorrow so that gives me plenty of time to relax and then go to bed at a reasonable hour.

My biggest problem lately has been falling asleep. Something is off with me, and I’m not sure it’s all because of the work scheduling. I’ve been staying up until 2 a.m. or later most nights. And depending on the day I either sleep in late to make up for going to bed so late, or get up and then take lots of little naps throughout the day. I know I’ve been oversleeping but I can’t seem to stop and I feel so tired all the time.

Hopefully I can get my shit together on Friday. I really need to do some laundry and get it all put away. I need to clean my room and clean the shower in the bathroom. I’ve got to run the recycling in still, it’s been in my car since last week. In general I just need to stop being a lazy shit of a roommate.

Between the dull ache of period pains and my feet, the guilt over being super lazy, the exhaustion and the stress, all I want to do lately is cry. I’ve got to get out of this funk. I know it can be so much better than this.