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Sunday, 30 June 2013

This is a letter to someone. The one that I have a hunch I'll ultimately end up with. I have absolutely no guts to tell it to his face, I choose the cowardly way of doing so, blogging about it under an alias.

The contents ahead are personal. I clearly don't mind anyone reading it, but him. Read it if you want to know one of my innermost secrets or read it as fiction or read it for whatever reason you want. I just have to let it out.

Hi, Mr. Shreesha Iyengar

We met in school. I was an outsider. We got along well, you taught me to play tennis. We were good friends. We went on a school picnic and had fun there as well. I left for Mumbai, we kept in touch through Y! Messenger. I will still maintain that I called you, twice, from here, sneaking money away from home to go to the STD booth to call you (Initial days of moving to Mumbai). I don't know why you never bothered. While chatting on IM, you told me you loved me while I was helping you out with this other girl at your college. You said it didn't work out with her because of your feelings for me. You wanted something between us. Considering the distance between us, I said no. We remained friends. Due to the distance, the "keeping-in-touch" was on and off. When we did speak, it was for a long duration and very deep. Then my best friend tells me one day "Did you see his Orkut profile? It says committed." It was a shock, no less. i asked you and you said, yes, you had a girlfriend. I felt deeply hurt that you didn't tell me. When I asked you for a reason why you didn't tell me of this development, you said "I didn't want you to blabber it to your friends here that you are keeping in contact with." What, am I not supposed to tell my BFF from this former city I lived in that a guy friend from our school had said that he loved me? I was saddened and hurt and angry and depressed that you now belonged to someone else. I made my peace with it and stayed as civil I could with you. You were and are dumb enough to not notice the spitting of words from my side. We have been in contact quite a lot this past month. i like it. We have connected very well. Suddenly, I am able to talk to you about just anything under the sun, really, anything. Because I know for a fact that you will not judge me, no matter what. I loved it when you responded the same way when I said "I don't think I'd be able to talk shit like this with anyone, least of all, future boyfriend/husband!" You are going through a rough patch now. Your Princess is yet to tell her parents about you while they are in a hurry to get her married off, you are having trouble finding a job. You said she is holding back at the moment after just telling you "find a job and come speak to my father"; I hate that bitch to leave you in a lurch like that! You made it clear in other words that I will be the last resort for you, if Princess is sent off with someone else and the "I love you" that you gave me on IM a couple of years ago, has just become a "Princess knows I have a crush on you." Speaking to you today, on 29.06.13 for close to two hours on the phone, while you were drunk gave me a sudden intuition (epiphany?) that we are supposed to be together. I don't know why that is, I don't know whether I am over you, I don't know what grip you have over me, I don't know what my love toward you is, just friendship or something more. We talk a lot, but anything and everything. We are perfect together. you talk more to me than to your girlfriend. I know that she doesn't like me even though you say "she has no problem." Honestly, at the moment, your chances with the Princess seem slim. It makes me smile internally. Bitch I am, I know. Although, I don't know what I'd do if you do get the Princess. I don't know whether I'd get closure, ever. All I can say is, till date, i have always compared every guy that has entered my life to my Appa and next, you. They don't quite meet the standard. You said today that you missed me, you said you needed someone to talk to. I miss you too, I think i even love you, dear Mr. Shreesha Iyengar. I wonder if you've ruined me for other men. (Cliche?)

Friday, 28 June 2013

Here are a few pictures clicked by me. I'm no photographer. My Samsung Galaxy phone is my faithful partner at this. Just fyi, none of the pictures have been edited; no extra effects have been added except for the watermark on the pictures.

Friday, 14 June 2013

I hate monsoon. No, I really do hate it. Every year I wish we weren't an agrarian economy and weren't situated such that we receive such rainfall. Might I add, of all the places, in Mumbai!

Back in junior college (11th & 12th), since I rarely attended college, my daily routine was waking up at 8.30 am, reading the paper and enjoying my coffee until 9.30, having breakfast, showering around 10.30-11 and then watching my sitcom till 6 pm (no kidding). This also included around an hour and a half of talking over the phone with my best friend and browsing the web and, of course, Facebook. During the monsoon, the routine changed a bit. Waking up at 9 am, enjoying coffee in the balcony with the newspaper till 10. Then, talking over the phone with my friends and having breakfast simultaneously, etc, etc. In short, during the monsoon, one of my routine tasks included exclaiming how beautiful the rains were, how green nature looked once it stopped raining, enjoying the smell of the Earth after a downpour, how chilled the air became after a shower. I really did enjoy those moments.

Now that I am working (haha!), I try really hard to enjoy all these things, to no avail. How do you expect me to enjoy any of this? When I get out of the house, I have to wear my windcheater as well as carry an umbrella and still get drenched in my bottom half, when I walk the streets, I have to wade through waters continuously thinking about water snakes and all those weird animals, I have to make sure that I don't stumble on any pothole or fall into some manhole and be lost forever, I have to travel by public transport for almost 3 hours (journey that usually takes 2 hours) to reach the client's place, I have to bear the brunt of the full blast AC on my wet self and shiver like a puppy, I have to endure bad hair everyday, I have to be okay with not getting to leave early when there is a downpour, I reach home by 8-8.30, take a shower (with Dettol, no less), have dinner, sit and chat with my family until 10 and I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I am too tired to do anything else anyway, why try!?

Half the time I just wish my grandfather were filthy rich, leaving behind all his wealth for me. Enough for me to not work and just travel my whole life (I will most definitely write about it). That way, I can skip monsoon anywhere, anytime. Or, get married to a filthy rich guy and be a stay at home wife with no kids. That way, all I have to do everyday is wake up, say bye bye to hubby, curl up in bed with a cup of coffee and watch my sitcom while enjoying the splatter of rain outside (no household work, filthy rich husband, remember? We'll have maids)! Aah, wishful thinking and most importantly, loss of independence. Nah, let me just focus on getting out of this place (you can take "place" to mean absolutely anything!)!!

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

As I drove down the winding road, I kept thinking how exciting life had turned out to be. I never thought I would be one of those people who get to live their dream. My dream was to earn a living doing what I love the most, travelling. Lucky? Yes. Hardworking? Yes. As I reached the turning, my phone bleeped. Stopping the vehicle and taking my phone in hand, I realized it was my Mum. Yeah, she keeps worrying about me. You know, the usual worries, a girl is travelling all over the world alone, she is at an age where girls usually get married and have kids and yet, this girl (moi!) is not tamable. Oh, well. We chatted about nothing in particular, mainly about the doings at home, my doings at various places, health and miscellaneous, unimportant items. It's amazing how we keep in touch so very often without having to spend not more than a fraction of my mobile bill! The technology of WeChat I tell you!

I then reached my destination and checked into the hotel. As I settled in my room, I turned on the TV and saw that The Due Date was on. Gosh! I love Robert Downey Jr.I don't even know when I fell asleep. But, what I can tell you is my dream. I dreamed that I had Robert Downey Jr on WeChat and the fun time I had! Want some dreamy gossip? He told me how he loved acting and wooing women. He finds his children very adorable and at the first opportunity, he'd leave his wife for me! Aaaahh!! Talk about wishful thinking.

As I went down for breakfast the next day, I saw an old couple holding hands at the breakfast table. Yes, I love it when older couples do PDA. It warms me to think they still have all that passion left. One startling thing I noticed was that the man looked like my paternal grandfather I lost when I was 10. My heart ached to realize that he didn't live long enough to see what I have become. If only I could WeChat with him, I'd tell him how the little, naughty, mischievous Shreesha has now become so well accomplished. I remember how he used to yell at me all the time. The destructive child that I was, he was afraid of the little sibling's well being. If he could see me now, I know for a fact that he would support me in all my decisions and be the strongest pillar of support never (ever?) known to me.

After a King's breakfast, I gathered up my things and went for a stroll out in the open. A little while along the road, I spotted the office building of Tata Communication Services. What a magnificent structure and what excellent business! I am just going to say it. I love Ratan Tata. Yes, I do. And if I could WeChat with him, I'd like to discuss his life, his career progression, his baby (the Tata Companies, don't get any wild ideas), and so much more! I don't think I can even tell you what all I would talk to him about. One sure shot explanation that I would require from him is how he was about to get married 4 times, to whom and why didn't it happen. Ahan!

Diving into my thoughts was my phone. I got a ping. From him. Yes, myboyfriend, my lover, my partner, all mine. "I miss you babe" he had texted me. I took it at face value, you know, double meaning. I gave a devilish smile to myself and texted him back "You are in for a yummy night." Hmm, the naughty night that was awaiting us, all thanks to WeChat. Oh, please, everyone thinks of doing it, I am the only one saying it out loud. And, as it is, you know subtlety is not my best feature.

WeChat helps you remain connected with anyone, anywhere! This video will be more helpful.