I walked into my son's room the other day, and he's got four screens going at the same time.
He's watching a movie on one screen, playing a game on another, downloading something on
this one, texting on that one, people say "He's got ADD." Fuck that, he's multitasking.Robin Williams

You have this myth, as the father, that if you're there at the birth, you're sharing the birthing
experience. Unless you're opening an umbrella up your ass, I don't think so.Robin Williams

Shakespeare wrote, "Kill all the lawyers." That was before agents.Robin Williams

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your
child as an adult saying, "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is,
"You want fries with that?"Robin Williams

People say satire is dead. It is not dead. It's alive and living in the White House.Robin Williams

The first time I ate whole-grain bread I swear it tasted like roofing material.Robin Williams

And you know that if they legalize it, they'll have to regulate it, which means that they'll
have to put a message on a box of joints, it'll say, "Surgeon General has determined this will
make your music... awesome! Even Yanni. And if you think you liked cartoons before..."Robin Williams

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying
attention to.Robin Williams

Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.Robin Williams

The definition of pornography is quite simple. Erotic is using a feather, pornography is using
the entire chicken.Robin Williams

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of course he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives
with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's
gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.Robin Williams