Well, we’re back again. And this month with a special bonus. No resident DJ.

This month, it’s all about the guests and what a treat we have for you. Not only do you get Digital City’s DJ Remote, but also, winging their way from Nottingham, come DJ Rico and Stu 1138. Prepare for a full-on session of basement Afrobeat, Brazilian boogie, broken beat and UK pointing-at-the-floor.

Second one of our monthly soirées in Shoreditch’s finest basement bar brings you the combined delights of resident Ketsbaia and his new records, Cardiff’s finest Marky de Sade and Disco Shed’s Del Gazeebo.

Slightly later start this time, but get there early to avoid disappointment as it got rammed last month.

After many months of essentially sitting on my arse, I’ve decided to resurrect what was sometimes a right good giggle of a night. With any luck and with a fair tailwind, it’ll become a monthly affair.

The new venue is amazing. The cocktails, I’m told, are fairly nice. And to cap it all, it’s the day before my birthday.

For this first bash, we’ve got a right treat in store for you. I’ve managed to convince some real talent to come along and play records for your listening/dancing pleasure.

So showing me up for the charlatan I am will be Cardiff’s very own scratching, funking crunkmeister and A-Z stalwart Marky de Sade. Also laying down the dancefloor law will be the Morecambe and Wise of reggae/drum n bass/dubstep themselves, the one and only Bam Bam Sound.

Truly a treat for your ears.

If all goes well (and we pack the place/drink loads of expensive booze), then not only will the DJs get paid, but we’ll also get a regular monthly slot. So if you’re kicking the cat that night wondering what to do, be a looby and pop down.

As the denizens of Notting Hill up sticks and bugger off to the country while their patch is invaded by mooing hordes, so the Aardvark to Zebra carnival float, err, floats down to The Green for another all-day beats, eats and booze-a-thon. Forget trying to shuffle with ‘rhythm’ down Ladbroke Grove with the thrill-seeking thousands and head for Clerkenwell instead, where you’ll be guaranteed the same party vibe without the same level of intense claustrophobia.

Spinning the discs that risk this month are:

Bgpz. Digger, Dixy, Ketsbaia, Lenodd, Marts and Monkaiboy.

Musics kick off at around 3pm, but don’t let that stop you getting there early and taking advantage of the Green’s fantastic lunchtime menu. Rumour has it there’ll be a meal deal and cider promotion down there, but as yet that’s unconfirmed.

After an absence of more than six months, during which time houses have been moved, millions have been won and lost on the stock exchange and at least one bank has gone tits up, Aardvark to Zebra returns to its plush home at The Green, Clerkenwell Green, EC1.

And what do we find? Crippling recession, swine flu and Susan Boyle stunning TV audiences around the world. Clearly something has to be done. Not by us, of course. We’ll just provide the soundtrack, which this month comes from the able hands of Brighton upstart Creeeday, Yorkist purveyor of all things deep Jez Wells and nimble-fingered flyer designer Remote, plus resident train-wrecker Ketsbaia.

No running order as yet… names will be pulled from a hat on the night.