Dan & Jennifer have a good article up on their blog about 5 techniques you can use to banish people from your life who keep you down and spread negativity like a cancer. Check it out…

Negative “energy vampires” are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!

Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.

Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.

1. No Gossiping

It doesn’t matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people’s perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.

When people do things that you don’t agree with or that you don’t understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn’t it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.

Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.

In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a “negative fuel source,” you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!

2. No Whining or Complaining

Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?

I’m not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I’m talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!

When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?

Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don’t, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.

3. No Co-Dependency

All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to “vent”.

In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.

Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone’s issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don’t turn your back on them, but don’t fuel their point of view that they are the “victim” either.

Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.

4. No Cross Contamination

It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt – or that negativity – is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.

From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.

Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.

You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.

5. No Being “Holier than Thou”

After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow “different” than everyone else. You start to feel “enlightened” and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.

Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.

The only difference between the “enlightened” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.

By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other “holier than thou” individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the “right” or the “wrong” side of the tracks – from your point of view.

Conclusion: By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.

That’s the prize.

However, be advised that these success habits are just that – habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.

Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!

These are some good tips to keep you feeling positive and focused on positivity. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being positive is an incredibly attractive trait in any person, and you can’t go wrong with filling your life with good, positive habits!

You know, I find it interesting that lots of guys look at sex toys as “competition.” After all, if a woman has a good vibrator, what does she need a man for, right? Well, I don’t agree with that. I think a guy who can get his girl a good sex toy opens up a whole new world of fun and possibilities with his girl, because she’ll typically become more open to exploring things that are sexual with him in return.

I recently found these articles (check them out here and here) from a woman named Sarah Gibson who owns a sex toy website that lays out some good guidelines for choosing the right sex toy. Interestingly enough, this section caught my attention:

Size

While it is incredibly important you get her a toy that is the perfect fit… you should try to avoid any embarrassing bra-shopping-type-incidents when you say to the sales assistant “Well she’s about your size.” Thankfully you can use yourself as a guide for how big or little you should go for internal vibrators. However, if you’d like something to use as an add-on to your own penetrative sex, stick with something really little like a bullet or clit vibe like the famous we-vibe. These can be slotted in place in between you both while you carry on as normal.

The biggest thin I’ve found when it comes to getting sex toys for your lady is to know what she prefers. Some girls like penetration, while others prefer clitoral stimulation. In my experience, the vast majority of women prefer the clitoral stimulation for various reasons, so when getting a toy for your girl, make sure your focus is on “vibrators” and not “dildos.” Having the option of inserting the toy is good, but it can be hard to guess as to what kind of size and shape your girl will prefer. You can always play it safe and get a vibrator for her.

Secondly, if you actually TAKE your girl shopping and let her pick out the toy, not only can you get the exact one she wants, but it can also be a lot of fun and really encouraging for her to open up to you about her preferences sexually. Some girls might be shy about what gets them off, and taking them sex toy shopping can really bring them out of their shell. Plus, most sex toy stores have so much crazy stuff in them, it can inspire your girl to want to experiment with new things too!

A new article in Time talks about how women who take Birth Control Pills have less sexual satisfaction, but more committed relationships…

Good news and bad for women who take the pill: new research finds that those who meet their partners while taking oral contraceptives report less sexual satisfaction in their relationships — but they’re also less likely to split up.

A study of 2,519 mothers, mainly from the U.S. and Czech Republic, found that those who met their first child’s father while on the pill were less sexually satisfied with their men, less attracted to them and experienced greater sexual dissatisfaction over time, compared with women who weren’t taking birth control pills.

But they also reported greater satisfaction with other aspects of their relationships, including the financial support provided by their mates, and were about 10% more likely to stay together. (If they did break up, the split was around 10% more likely to be initiated by the woman than the man.)

So, how could the pill possibly affect mate choice? It comes down to chemistry.

The researchers had previously discovered that women’s menstrual cycles affect the types of men to which they are most attracted. Part of having “chemistry” with someone is liking his smell, which is determined in part by an immune system molecule called MHC.

People tend to be attracted to partners with MHC types that are dissimilar from their own, probably because this would give their offspring a greater chance of survival by creating a diversified immune system. The pill, however, puts the body into a hormonal state similar to pregnancy — and pregnant women tend to prefer MHC scents that are similar to their own, probably because this would make them feel safe and comfortable around supportive relatives.

That means that if you’re taking the pill, you may be more likely to find attractive men whose MHC is similar to your own — but during your regular cycle, these men might seem less your “type.”

Indeed, during their most fertile phase, women tend to be drawn to more dominant, masculine men who are more likely to be unfaithful. In contrast, during the second part of their cycle, when they could already be pregnant, they are more attracted to calmer, more nurturing types.

So, basically, meeting while on the pill might make you choose a “dad” who may not be the most exciting guy, but who will stick around and support the kids. Conversely, meeting while not taking hormonal contraceptives might make the bad-boy “cad” seem irresistible.

Of course, there are many, many variables involved in choosing a partner and the influence of taking the pill is not huge. It’s possible that other underlying factors actually account for the differences between pill users and nonusers, perhaps related to their decisions about contraception and attitudes toward sex. The researchers tried to control for these factors, however, and still found that the effect persisted in two different countries.

Lead author Craig Roberts of the University of Stirling in the U.K. told the BBC: “Choosing a non-hormonal barrier method of contraception for a few months before getting married might be one way for a woman to check or reassure herself that she’s still attracted to her partner.”

My guess, however, is that if you are that concerned about your relationship, you might have other issues to iron out before booking the caterer.

You know what leads to less sexual satisfaction for everyone involved? Having kids! Seems like a fair trade to me.

So this is a video from the late 80s/early 90s from some talk show giving a bunch of hard-up women advice about men. Unfortunately, it’s all bad, terrible advice. Even though this footage is decades old, this just furthers my theory that women have no clue about how men think or operate (for the most part, there are always exceptions). Anyway, modern advice about men hasn’t gotten much better from where it was in the 80s and 90s apparently. So keep this in mind – women will actually BELIEVE this crap because its what the Oprah-ized media feeds them. BEWARE!

So you found a girl, built up attraction, and did everything you were supposed to do, yet you can’t seem to close the deal. What’s wrong? Why can’t you get her between the sheets? Well, sometimes its nothing you’ve done wrong, rather, there are circumstances that are beyond your control. Here are 7 reasons why a girl might not want to sleep with you…

7. She’s on Her Period: She may not tell you that that’s the reason, but it’s always a possibility. Has she mentioned that she’s been head-achey or has some cramps? Has she excused herself to the bathroom a bit more than usual? Did she stab you at dinner? These are good indicators.

6. She Didn’t Shave and She’s Embarrassed: To quote one of my female friends that this happened to, “Unexpected sex has unanticipated consequences.” Some women specifically believe that sex will NOT be happening on a particular night. But she’s got a right to change her mind, doesn’t she? We think so. So whether it’s a burning bush of biblical proportions or just some leg scruff, keep in mind how embarrassed you’d be if you forgot to brush your teeth and your lady wanted a little tongue action.

5. She Thinks You’ll Think She’s a Slut: I could literally write a whole educational thesis on this topic, but I’ll spare you. Whether you think she is or isn’t a slut doesn’t make a difference with this situation, unfortunately. How well you can communicate to her that you’re not going to view her any differently and that you’re comfortable with whatever she’s comfortable with will help, though.

4. You Hesitated: Okay, we do have to touch on one reason it could be you. It’s because you hesitated. Women turn on like an oven and off like a light. Men turn on like a light and off like an oven. So if you’re basting an 8 lb. bird twice per hour for 5 hours at 350 degrees, how turned on is she? Wait, I forgot what we were talking about. Anyway, if you hesitate when making your moves she’ll be able to sense your insecurity and that can easily ruin the outcome of your evening. Be firm with your actions, but mindful of her needs.

3. She is Worried You’ll Get Rid of Her: Some guys are very goal-oriented and will work hard to get into a girl’s pants and then get the hell out of dodge right after because “mission accomplished.” Other guys work hard to create a connection so he can eventually wife her up proper. But, whether it’s the goal, the byproduct or an exit strategy, sex is often on a guy’s mind. If you care about the girl you’re with and get a sense of what her concerns might be, then a little patience will go a long way.

2. She Really Likes You: Sometimes you can tell how much a new girl likes you and then when she wants to take things slow it’s almost like a logic hiccup in a guy’s mind. But, try to keep things in perspective. The fact that she likes you enough to want to slow you down is a good thing and another situation where your patience will add a lot of value to the relationship.

1. It’s a Power Play: Sometimes women withhold sex to put themselves in a position of power. If this is the case with your girl, then have a conversation about it so that a power struggle doesn’t occur. Or just run for the hills.

So Hef’s former fiancee has just made sure if anything unsavory ever happens to her funbags, she’s covered.

So that's what the side of $500,000 looks like!

In the annals of unusual celebrity insurance policies, Holly Madison’s recent revelation that she has a $1 million policy with Lloyd’s of London on her breasts barely raises an eyebrow. After all, Adam Lambert’s crotch was covered for an even mil. Celine Dion reportedly insured her voice. Heck, David Lee Roth wisely — so so wisely — insured himself against his own sperm (should one ever complete its journey).

You can appreciate why these stars seek such insurance. Without their unique feature or talent, they are no longer that special person. It’s why Jimmy Durante insured his nose and Dolly Parton insures her breasts. It’s just smart business, even though these folks had talent beyond their extraordinary anatomical attribute. Madison, on the other hand — well, let’s just say she’s wise to protect her surgeon-given assets. As she puts it, “They’re my primary money makers right now.” Indeed. It would be a shame if something happened to them, and she had to fall back on her medical degree.

In the Age of the Reality Star, Madison is probably ahead of the curve. Fame can be especially fleeting when it’s not founded on legitimate talent. If The Situation hasn’t already insured his abs, he better. What other reality stars might want to look into insuring their assets? Kim Kardashian? Steve-O?

So I guess that’s $500K a boob. If she’s ever desperate for money, she can just stab one of them boobies and let all the silicon leak out, and she’s still got another $500K waiting in the wings! lol.

I wonder if there’s a time constraint on that insurance policy? I mean, at a certain point, those things are gonna get saggy and wrinkly, so what happens then?

Erix5son has a question over on PUAForums concerning the Mystery Method and how to apply it after you’ve “done the deed.”

Erix5son wrote:

So according to Mystery’s method that consists of Attraction, Comfort and seduction how should I play the dating game after the sex already occured?

I am thinking about keeping the comfort with some Tension while on dates or in public and use seduction when having private time with her?

Can somebody comfirm if this is correct/best approach to dating a women after you already had sex with her or give some basic guidelines.

Okay, just to be clear here… if sex has occurred, then you have successfully completed the “seduction” phase of Mystery Method.

Simple, right?

Understand: The Mystery Method is mostly geared towards the initial “getting women to sleep with you” phase of things. So you don’t really NEED to use it on a girl you’ve already slept with – unless you failed to establish any rapport with her and just “got lucky” because she was drunk, she just wanted to get laid and didn’t care by whom, or any other factors which might have gotten you the sex but zero inter-personal connection.

So let’s say you did Mystery Method right, and built up the attraction and comfort before you got her into bed. If that’s the case, then guess what? Your job is EASY now. Read more

Sleeker2610 over on the PUAForums writes an incredibly awkwardly phrased question, that actually addresses an issue lots of guys struggle with: turning that girl “friend” into a “girlfriend.”

Sleeker2610 writes:

Hi I want to ask for help in my situation because I fall in love with my best girl friend. I know she likes me very much because even if I said her I fall in love with her she accepted a date with me but she still cannot switch me from position of her best male friend to boyfriend :/ . So here is the thing I just have to bring her to swap me from friend zone to eventual boyfriend and its done but I dont know how :/. She is okay even when we hang out alone together she allow me to sleep with her and hugging her during that time and she likes it . I don´t know what more to say if you need more informations just ask about them I will answer them ASAP.

Okay, so I guess now would be a good time to go over how exactly one manages to “escape the friend zone” and actually turn that female friend of yours into something more… Read more

Travellingwilbury over at the Attraction Forums poses an interesting question. What is the procedure for getting a new relationship after an old one ends? How long should you be single for?

Travellingwilbury writes:

Do you WANT to be single?

Considered posting this in the Relationships area, but it’s still a newbie question.

Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends. I’m not going to complain about that this time. I’ve been doing a lot of things wrong. At least I now know what they were. I’m feeling good about my ability to attract overall. The point is that I certainly haven’t had girlfriends serially – with small gaps between them, as many seem to.

In these questions I’m not talking about one night stands of fuckbuddies, I’m talking about relationships that last weeks and months…
Some guys have to put up with celibacy / no romance, for months. I don’t think any guys like being single, whereas girls seem to like it, or at least they are good at pretending to like it – freedom etc. A guy’s wife of many years dies, and I’ve seen it: he is seeing or even married to a woman 10 years younger than his late wife within 6 months. Some guys can’t stand a gap. Who here feels like they want very short gap? You might want more gap if the last relationship was emotional. But what does an alpha or a pua do when a relationship ends, assuming it didn’t end because he was already seeing another girl? Do you literally just decide that you need constant access to a woman’s body, any woman’s body and you just go out every night and day until you find one and then you can relax again, even if it takes a month?

Is that what you’re supposed to do? Loads of sudden concentrated effort. Are some of you driven to be single for only a short time. I’ve never done that. But my gaps were expected to be big, so I’ve never got used to being in a relationship, so I don’t notice the absence as much as some. I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends because I just assumed they would sort of turn up or approach me themselves. Some guys just seem to fall into relationships. It’s not just that they APPEAR effortless. I suspect they are REALLY making no effort, but they’re having everyday incidental contact with women in their lives anyway and they’re attractive, easy, handsome, well-groomed, by default and so no CONSCIOUS effort is needed.

I’m tortured by the concept that “It is easy to get a girlfriend!” because it is both true and false. If you really want one, it isn’t. If you don’t, but have a busy social life, it is. Correct? It’s easy or hard (or impossible) depending on your game, your expectations, your desperation and your lifestyle?

How long a gap could you stand? And how do you go about making sure a gap is short, if that is your preference? Approach every girl? Be impatient for a girl without seeming to be?

If I need to make efforts like that, I need more motivation and less nervousness – more exercise, and no salt, caffeine or masturbation.

This is just common sense. I mean, everyone knows how horrible women are at parking (especially the parallel kind). But those highly efficient Germans over in Germany just couldn’t leave well-enough alone and had to prove to the world just how hopeless women are when it comes to parking, using the power of SCIENCE.

Who says women can't park?

It’s long been the source of domestic strife. Are women really worse at parking than men?

Sorry ladies, official figures have revealed the truth: we are not very good at parking a car.

Almost a third of all women who failed their driving test last year came unstuck due to parallel parking.
Careful dear: Studies show that women are not as competent as men when it comes to parking

Careful dear: Studies show that women are not as competent as men when it comes to parking

Of the 170,000 women who failed their driving test in 2010 for mistakes in reversing or failing to use their mirrors, 55,000 failed on parking.

And if those figures – released by the Driving Standards Agency – are not enough to ensure a rare victory for men in the battle of the sexes, then they have the support of science as well.

Researchers at the Ruhr University Bochum in Germany asked 65 volunteers to park a £23,000 Audi – and found that women took up to 20 seconds longer than men.

Some women blame the problem on the fact their breasts make it more difficult to turn around while parking.
Parking and women

However, when they do eventually pass – one woman finally got through last year at the 21st attempt over 22 years – they will at least have the consolation of cheaper car insurance.

The figures back up another stereotype: the boy racer.

When young men get behind the wheel the testosterone goes into overdrive.

It helps to explain why almost 40,000 men were failed last year for moving off too fast, while another 30,500 fell foul of their examiner for jumping the lights.

The agency has listed the top five faults by gender for those who failed.

The most frequent – forgetting to check right, left and then right again at junctions – was common to both sexes.

About 1.5million people take a driving test each year.

‘So far this year the pass rate is 50.7 per cent for men and 44.1 per cent for women,’ said an agency spokesman.

Female drivers need an average 52 hours of tuition to pass but men speed through in just 36 hours of lessons.

So the next time your girl bitches about you not asking for directions… bitch at her back about you being able to park a damn car.