Read Iskra Lawrence's TED Talk Before It Airs

This past weekend, Iskra Lawrence took the stage in Reno to give her first-ever TED talk as part of TEDxUNR. While it may seem like just another day in the life of a top model, we can assure you it's quite a big deal—Lawrence is now one of a select few models to give one of the talks (only Ashley Graham, Cameron Russell, and Geena Rocero preceded her). But let's be clear: Lawrence is no stranger to giving a motivational speech. She's wowed crowds at Glamour's Women of the Year Live Summit, Refinery29's Every Body Beautiful Symposium, and various National Eating Disorder Association gatherings. When TED caught wind of the latter, they reached out to get her on their stage ASAP. So, since you were likely not in the crowd in Reno and won't be able to see the video until it surfaces online in a few days, we've got a copy of her heartfelt speech on how to practice self-love right here. Grab some tissues!

We have a problem. The most important relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves—but we aren’t taught about it.

Could self-care education enrich our lives, combat our insecurities, and enable us to reach our full potential? Yes. And I’m connecting with you today because this matters. Self-esteem affects every part of our lives: Our relationship with ourselves, our loved ones, with coworkers, even food and exercise. Have you ever blamed your body? Then you know the "OMG that dress is so cute, but no there’s no way I can wear it, my stomach isn’t flat enough" and "He’s not calling me back because I ate 5 burritos, a tub of ice cream, and my cat last night, and now I’m 10 pounds heavier" moments.

Body image is often associated with teenage girls, but it also affects boys and men. Eating disorders and mental health issues do not discriminate and can affect anyone at any time in their life. "He definitely got the promotion over me because he looks like Thor and works out every day." "I’m too big to be on the team so I’m not even going to try out this season." I used to wake up every morning as a teenager and look in the mirror, disgusted at my body. I would think, Why don’t I have a thigh gap? My thighs look like one ate the other.Are you kidding me—another pimple? Ugh, I hate myself! I can’t get those years back of self-loathing, calorie obsession, and jealousy, so I am using the experiences I’ve had to gain a better understanding of my relationship with myself. By deciding to practice self-care daily, I was able to change my life. And I hope today I can encourage you to begin your own journey to self-love.

Why is it that we feel insecure in the first place? Because from a young age we have been conditioned to believe our success and happiness is highly dependent on our attractiveness.Princes and princesses are slender, physically toned, tall, with proportional features. Celebrities and models are airbrushed with all so-called flaws vanished. Magazine headlines reward those who have dramatically lost weight, or have managed to be nipped and tucked to look 20 years younger.... Because if we are insecure, we are a motivated consumer.We can be sold an antiwrinkle cream by a 13-year-old model or a push-up bra that had another bra underneath to create an unachievable cleavage. How many men are signing up for gym memberships and spending money on products to make them look buff, some even going to the extent of taking steroids?

And I know this all may sound kind of shallow; however, when you hear the statistics, it’s clear how dangerous a low self-esteem can be to our mental and physical health. As a teenage girl, you are 12 times more likely to die from an eating disorder than any other disease.Thirty million people in the United States alone suffer from eating disorders. More than 90 percent of children who die by suicide have a mental health condition. Unfortunately, the pressures of the beauty ideal are only intensifying. With the rise of social media, we now carry a weapon of mass destruction to our self-esteem 24/7. Have you ever lost an hour of your life deep in someone’s pictures feeling jealous that they are "body goals" with the perfect relationship, dream job, and the life you desire? Well that’s what’s scary—because social media isn’t real life. It’s a curated, filtered, often airbrushed (and sometimes even sponsored) lifestyle illusion.

I believe we need to be taught how to handle all these pressures. I wish I would have known what I do now when I was a teenager so I could have enjoyed and relished every day knowing my self-worth wasn’t in the size of my jeans or the number on a scale—or, nowadays, the likes on my selfies. It has become my mission in life to get self-care—the education of mental, physical, and emotional health—into the schooling system.And due to the damaging effects that retouching had on how I viewed myself, I choose to keep my own images raw and real on my social media platforms.

I had to forgive myself for the times I saw retouched pictures of myself with slimmer arms, a thigh gap, unachievably smooth skin, with no cellulite or back fat, and thought that’s how I should look in real life. I now know that just because people decided to alter my appearance to look "perfected," it doesn't make me any less beautiful in the real world—where I can’t walk around airbrushed.

Last year I trained with The National Eating Disorder Association of the United States in a course called The Body Project, which is the first scientifically proven course to help prevent eating disorders. The impact that four sessions has on the pupils is outstanding and proves to me exactly why we need education like this for everyone. One of the main concepts that’s taught is the beauty ideal myth. We get students to pick out what they think is the perfect body from magazines and break down how it’s not real—and therefore not attainable. We get them to realize that the sacrifices and costs to try and achieve this unrealistic ideal of beauty are detrimental to our health and well-being.In this battle, the brands, magazines and pharmaceutical industry win from it, but we lose. Some brands knowingly or unknowingly use our insecurities to persuade us to buy their products. It's not good, it's not fair, and it should not be allowed to continue.

So let's start to embrace and accept the bodies we have for so much more than just what they look like, and redefine the beauty ideal.Imagine celebrating beauty on the inside, someone's accomplishments, personality, morals, and values. To me, that is beautiful.

Recently I challenged three women who had not worn bikinis ever to do so on a live broadcast to three million viewers and a large audience on the streets of London. They broke down when trying on the bikinis, so I used my mirror challenge. We are so used to looking in the mirror and picking out our insecurities, and instead I challenged them to pick out five things they love about themselves. For example: I’m a great friend, I’m compassionate, I'm funny, I'm the life of the party. Then they looked at their bodies and picked out five things they appreciate about it. For example: I’m grateful for my hands; they allow me to paint. My legs let me run along the beautiful river. My arms allow me to embrace my loved ones. We can change how we view ourselves; it just takes intention and determination.

Another way I like to practice self-care is a gratitude diary or list when I’m having a bad day. I have 5 to 10 go-to things that make me feel grateful. Try to have your own and use them. For example: I recently found myself in a changing room situation.... So I started listing off all the reasons I should feel grateful rather than insecure. This helped me to change my mind-set and feel positive and fulfilled.

Bad days will happen—there is no quick fix to becoming confident and body positive. And even when I think I’m 100 percent there, I find myself slipping sometimes. Having taught myself tools such as the gratitude list or doing things that make me happy prevents my confidence plummet just because I can’t fit into my favorite jeans.

As I mentioned earlier, social media brings a whole new level pressures: 52 percent of American teens say they have been cyber-bullied.How do we combat this? Education is key. We should be teaching how to use media in a healthy way and coping mechanisms for online bullying. I made the decision to unfollow and avoid any accounts that made me feel bad. And instead, nourish myself with inspirational accounts that make me feel good. When it comes to trolls (often private, nameless and faceless accounts that spew targeted negativity online), I do my best to ignore it, report it, block it, and delete it; however, there have been times where I decided I wanted to make an example of it and created amusing comebacks to empower myself and create something positive instead of letting it negatively impact me.

I really do believe we can combat the ever-growing beauty pressures by education and I’m grateful to be here with you all today and for anyone watching this to encourage you to invest in yourself right now. We can teach ourselves self-care, practice it, and then gift it to others. Imagine being able to give the gift of self-love to your loved ones! Speak to your body in a loving way because it’s your home and deserves your respect. If you see someone tearing themselves apart, build them back up.And watch your life positively grow when you let go of the pursuit for perfection.... Because the real beauty ideal is being imperfectly you.