Spoonerisms

This section is in honour of the Rt. Hon. Reverend Spooner...

is the bean dizzy? is the Dean busy?
our queer old Dean our dear old Queen
we'll have the hags flung out we'll have the flags hung out
fighting a liar lighting a fire
you hissed my mystery lecture you missed my history lecture
cattle ships and bruisers battle ships and cruisers
nosey little crook cosy little nook
a blushing crow a crushing blow
tons of soil sons of toil
you've tasted two worms you've wasted two terms
our shoving leopard our loving shepherd
a half-warmed fish a half-formed wish
know your blows blow your nose
go and shake a tower go and take a shower
tease my ears ease my tears
stop nicking your pose stop picking your nose
you have very mad banners you have very bad manners
lack of pies pack of lies
it's roaring with pain it's pouring with rain
sealing the hick healing the sick
go help me sod so help me God
pit nicking nit picking
disgusting bowel feast disgusting foul beast
I'm a damp stealer I'm a stamp dealer
hyperdemic nurdle hyperdermic needle
wave the sails save the whales
I was chipping the flannel on the TV I was flipping the channel on the TV
mad bunny bad money
I'm shout of the hour I'm out of the shower
lead of spite speed of light
this is the pun fart this is the fun partI hit my bunny phone I hit my funny boneflutter by butterflybedding wells wedding bellsI must mend the sail I must send the mailcop porn popcornit crawls through the fax it falls through the cracksmy zips are lipped my lips are zippedbat flattery flat batterywould you like a nasal hut? would you like a hazel nut?puke on couponbelly jeans jelly beanseye ball bye allfight in your race right in your facedo you want to sign a door? do you want a dinosaur?ready as a stock steady as a rockno tails toe nailshiss and lear listen herePlaying Card Spooners...Two of Hearts Who of tarts?Four of Hearts Whore of fartsEight of Hearts Hate of ArtsTen of Hearts Hen of tartsAce of Spades Space of aidsFour of Spades Spore of fadesEight of Spades Spate of AIDSFour of Diamonds Door of fireman'sFive of Diamonds Dive of fireman'sSix of Diamonds Dicks of Simon'sTwo of Clubs Clue of tubsFive of Clubs Clive of Fubbs