Bare Trees, NV - (June 4) -
Christine McVeigh, former co-lead singer of the former
pop group, Fleetwood Mac, was released from prison,
early today, after being found Not Guilty on charges
stemming from allegations that she'd borrowed former
Fleetwood Mac former co-lead singer, Stevie Nick's
toothbrush and not given it back, during the group's
last "Shit, We Invested All Our Royalties In Bogus Land
Deals So Now We Have to Get the Fuck Back On the Road
Just to Stay Alive" Tour.

Borrowing and not returning Stevie Nick's toothbrush
while on tour, is a crime punishable by death in the
electric chair, though the last 3 people convicted of it
have received the somewhat harsher penalty of being
forced to read "Suck" and "Netly News" on a daily basis.

Spring Comdex, Uh, Bombs

In Atlanta, Georgia, today, almost no one showed up for
this year's spring Comdex. The one guy who did show up,
a Mr. Doe, just sat parked outside the Atlanta
Convention Center in his Ryder truck, looking mightily
pissed.

The semi- or bi- or whatever annual trade show, which is
dedicated to the proposition that "If COMputers just
took DEXadrine, maybe they'd actually, like,
work," has been superseded, in recent years, by
other competing trade shows, such as Commeth, Comsmack,
Comacid, and Comprozac.

The keynote speaker of this year's Comdex, Rosie
O'Donnell, was also a no-show, and had to be replaced at
the last minute by the only other knowledgeable industry
leader available on such short notice.