Monday, June 9, 2008

David and I are getting married in a week and a half and everyone is surprised at how calm I am.

Why not? I have the most important things already: David, rings, officiant, friends and cake. Everything else is a bonus.

I say that because I have had the greatest minds at work on this event from the start. Without Carole, I might just now be throwing up my hands and saying, "Exactly what shall I wear?" Without Vicky, a dollop of mascara and a hair clip would be the height of glamor. Without Cheryl, I would be thinking I could make enough tea sandwiches for five dozen people. Without Louise, I'd be flowerless (though Alicia would have swept in to avert a total flower disaster). Without Rachael, I'd have settled for a bakery whose workers thought they were doing me a favor (rather than the other way around). Without Laura, I would have no idea what or how about the hall.

And without David, I would not be getting married.

As you can see, I'm practically just showing up at the event with a pretty dress and a pocket-full of posies.

Oh, rest assured, I have a few worries. I won't be completely calm until Nikki makes it here safe and sound with Cat. (PJ and Valerie are already covered.) I still have to get a final head count (you non-RSVPers know who you are!), David has to finish collecting the music, I have no idea what Jackie will do for the ceremony. I'm sure I forgot something else terribly important. And we haven't quite finished everything for the honeymoon — though, frankly, if all I have to worry about is which Broadway show we will see, life is pretty good. I also worry that dashing off after the reception is going to abandon a few people, but I'm having to work up the guilt, honestly, because we have a wedding night to start!

Frankly, I have David. Life is good. And after the 19th, it will be even better.

Among the suggestions the author offered was using things longer, like "starter" homes, televisions and stereo equipment. He advocated purchasing food that cost only a certain amount of money. He opined waiting a week before making a big purchase.

All sound ideas, one could think — unless one perused the reader comments at the end of the column.

Talk about naysayers! People wrote that they had to dress nice for work and how mealy apples were at "mainstream" grocery stores. Others noted they didn't have time to grow their own food, not to mention that eating nothing but rice and beans would cause malnutrition.

How did these people equated "sacrifice" with "poverty"? How did they go from "spending less" to farming God's Acre and wearing stretched-out used underwear from Salvation Army? Is it the metro Washington area, or all people this insane?

Not to mention that the author suggested none of those ridiculous ideas.

From the comments, you would think Yeager suggested we all move to the woods in Montana and read by candlelight (using only candles we make ourselves from our earwax and stray hair). Not at all. Wait a week before buying the 45-inch television, he offered. Is that crazy? In DC, apparently, it is.

I also was stunned by the columnist's assertion that none of this was achievable if one had children. Granted, I have never had to withstand the wheedling and whining that sometimes even the best kid can practice. (I've seen Happy Meal toys and some of them are pretty cool, so who can blame them?) However, I also know parents who didn't put up with said whining, whose kids did not have every iteration of Elmo known to humanity (and thank the gods for that!). Keeping children warm, dry and without want does not include emptying out Toys R Us or Pottery Barn Kids.

I'm not a monk. I have belongings. I dine out. I spend money on things I'm sure some people consider wasteful. I'm sure I'd pooh-pooh some more extreme frugality practices, even some I read in The Tightwad Gazette (don't tell Amy Dacyczyn!). However, I am astounded at the closed-mindedness of so many people when it comes to thrift.

Being careful with money is not a bad habit. It used to be an admirable trait. What happened?