Recollecting 15 Bad Movies That Seemed So Good

Updated on July 14, 2013

"The Malibu Bikini Shop"

Have you ever made someone watch a movie
that you loved growing up, but they don’t find it anywhere near as great as you
do? Well, I can say I’ve done it lots of times and it reminds me of how
many bad films I’ve loved over the years. There’s something peculiar about
favourite movies from when you were young; the ones that you’d watch repeatedly
and were full of relished moments that you never got tired of. But now when you
view it with someone who’s never seen it before, even though you may have a
sense of nostalgia, they haven’t got a clue why you like it so much.

There are some movies that were considered
awesome at the time, but years later are revealed to be crap. Some will always
be priceless, because they’re so-bad- that-they’re-good. Some were lame then
and are still lame now, and you have no idea why you ever liked them in the
first place.

I’m sure that everyone has loved a few bad
movies in their time. Here are some of mine, in no particular order….

15. Flashdance (1983)

Directed by Adrian Lyne.

No one’s ever really been able to get over the
absurdity of Jennifer Beal’s character Alex being an exotic dancer by night and
a welder by day. Despite that the character was apparently based on a real woman
named Maureen Marder. The movie is actually kind of boring between the perky dance routines
and I can’t say I’ve come across anyone who really cares about the love story. I’m
pretty sure that what helps us survive through this movie, is knowing that
eventually we’ll reach that brilliant end scene, which is one of the most memorable
dance scenes of all time.

14. Teen Wolf (1985)

Directed by Rod Daniel.

Michael J. Fox stars in this high school comedy as Scott Howard, a teenager who finds he can transform into a werewolf. This turns him into a basketball sensation and gains him huge popularity at school. For those who grew up with this movie, it’s a 1980s teen classic and we all idolized Back to the Future(1985) star Michael J. Fox. For those that didn’t, it’s probably a stupid heap of garbage.

13. Who’s
That Girl (1987)

Directed by James Foley.

After four years, Nikki Finn (Madonna) is
released on parole after being jailed for a murder she didn’t commit. While
being chased by gangsters, she turns the life of her escort lawyer Louden
(Griffin Dunne) into chaos as she tries to prove her innocence.

This is not a good movie. It’s that simple
and I admit it. Bad story and bad acting, plus Madonna doing a kind of weird, high-pitched,
“Betty Boop” voice. Nevertheless, I loved it. It’s a wild and wacky journey that
includes some funny moments and a cool puma that I wished I could have.

12. Police
Academy (1984)

Directed by Hugh Wilson.

After this first movie, many believed that
the series was dragged out way past its due date. It’s a screwball comedy about
a bunch of bumbling cadets joining the police academy, lead by the prankster Mahoney
(Steve Guttenberg). The cast includes Kim Cattrall (Samantha from Sex and the City) in an early role.

Although most people had enough after the
first one, I hung in there all the way; well, at least until number five in the
series. Five out of seven isn’t a bad effort though.

11. Hot
To Trot (1988)

Directed by Michael Dinner.

Remember Bob Goldthwait? He’s the guy with
the annoying screechy voice from Police
Academy. Well, this is a movie starring him and a talking horse named Don
(voice of John Candy). Need I say more? What in the world was I thinking? The
only possible reason I can give for liking this movie was that I was a fan of Police Academy and animals. Pretty poor
excuse I know, but that’s all I’ve got….

10. Teen
Witch (1989)

Directed by Dorian Walker.

This megaflop was intended to be a kind of Teen Wolf for the girls, but it was
nowhere near as popular. According to Box Office Mojo, the movie’s domestic box
office gross for the USA was a meager $27,843. However, over the years the movie
has apparently gained a cult following and there are rumors of a re-make.

Robin Lively stars as Louise Miller, a high
school girl who discovers that she has magic powers. She casts a spell to win
over the hot guy at school and becomes the most popular girl, but soon realizes
that it’s best to just be yourself.

It’s totally corny and depicts the epitome
of 80s fashion and teased hair. But I’m sure that there were lots of other young
girls out there wearing rah-rah skirts, who like me thought that Teen Witch was sensational.

9. My
Stepmother is an Alien (1988)

Directed by Richard Benjamin.

A silly movie that was made long before Kim
Basinger was an Academy Award winner. It’s about an alien Celeste (Basinger)
who comes to earth disguised as a beautiful woman to try to find out secret
information from a widowed scientist (Dan Ackroyd).

Both Basinger and the movie are far from great,
she used to squeak and squeal a lot back then. Still, as a kid she was my
favourite actress. Why? Because she was Vicky Vale in Batman (1989), a movie I
was obsessed with and that inspired me to chew hundreds of packets of Topps gum
to collect Batman trading cards.

8. Weekend
at Bernie’s (1989)

Directed by Ted Kotcheff.

Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman play
two lowly employees who discover their boss Bernie dead from an apparent
suicide. They manage to convince everyone that he is still alive, so they can
enjoy the rest of the weekend at his beach house. Things turn bad when they
find themselves on the run from Bernie’s murderer who thinks he hasn’t
completed the job.

Weekend
at Bernie’s was my favourite movie, back in about Grade
4. I even had my own video copy to be able to watch it more frequently. This
crazy comedy is far-fetched and silly, but it’s a jolly, mindless romp that’s
memorable for many.

7. Hackers
(1995)

Directed by Iain Softley.

Hackers is implausible and full of lame dialogue, yet it once seemed so
hip. When I was a kid, being able to hack was one of those things I wished I
could do. Despite that the movie didn’t depict anything resembling real life
hacking, somehow it didn’t matter; just the fantasy of the world was enough to
make it an enjoyable. This was one of Angelina Jolie’s earliest films; even
then she was strikingly beautiful and held a screen presence as the cool chick
with attitude.

The movie looks dated now, partly because
we’ve moved on from cyberpunk fashion and because computer technology has
advanced so far since then. Yeah, it was a bit of a dumb movie, but watching
teenage kids hurl through the city on rollerblades, causing chaos with laptops to
the pumping sound of The Prodigy’s “Voodoo People”, well that’s entertainment.

6. Three
Amigos (1989)

Directed by John Landis.

I’ve included Three Amigos because it stars three great kings of idiotic comedy:
Chevy Chase, Steve Martin and Martin Short. All these guys have appeared in
numerous classic movies, but Steve Martin is the only one who seems to have
stuck around. Although I do believe that the influence of Chevy Chase will continue
forever, because National Lampoon’s
Christmas Vacation (1989) still
gets played on TV at Christmas and many of us end up watching it every
year.

This is a funny movie about three down and
out actors who travel to a small Mexican town, under the impression they’ll be
filming a movie. They discover that the townspeople believe they are actual
heroes and want them to protect the village against the wicked El Guapo and his
gang.

It’s a cheerful, bubbly comedy that works
well because of the hilarious three leads. If that’s not convincing enough,
what other movie is there that includes a singing bush.

5. Encino
Man (1992)

Directed by Les Mayfeld.

This is where is all began for Brendan
Fraser in his first leading role. He plays Link, a caveman who’s been thawed
out by two high school dorks Dave (Sean Astin) and Stoney (Pauly Shore), who
found him frozen in a block of ice in the backyard. They take Link to school
and teach him about modern life, pretending that he’s an exchange student from
Estonia. Link soon becomes popular and helps his daggy friends increase their dismal
status.

The question is, do you remember Pauly
Shore? He was big for a few years around the time of this movie, but descended
downhill rather quickly. He was known for his dopey surfer-dude speech style
and I remember kids at school imitating his trademark “Hey, Bu-ddy”.

Encino Man is amusing, light-hearted fun.
It’s kind of passé (mainly due to Pauly Shore), but it’s a good chance to see
Brendan Fraser in a movie that first demonstrated his talent for playing goofy,
comic roles.

4. Weird
Science (1985)

Directed by John Hughes.

Totally ridiculous, but totally brilliant.
Anything was possible in the 80s, including this story of two nerds Gary
(Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (IIan Mitchell-Smith) creating a living, sexy
woman with their computer. Their creation Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), helps the boys
to grow up and get girlfriends, but turns their lives upside down in the
process. Weird Science is a
definitive 80s teen flick with an unforgettable title theme song by Oingo
Boingo.

3. Sheena:
Queen of the Jungle (1984)

Directed by John Guillermin.

Sheena was adapted from the female Tarzan comic book character and is way
up there on the scale of corniness. It stars blonde bombshell Tanya Roberts, an
ex-Charlie’s Angel from the final TV season. The movie was considered terrible by
nearly everyone.

Much of the movie is angled around showing
off Sheena’s curvy figure in her skimpy loincloth and bra outfit. In true “Baywatch”
style, you can see her in the opening credits galloping on a zebra across the
plains with a bouncing chest; although try not to be too disappointed that it’s
actually a horse painted like a zebra. I thought Sheena was amazing because she
could talk to animals; others may have thought she was amazing because of her nude bathing scenes.

2. Mortal
Kombat (1995)

Directed by Paul W. S. Anderson.

This film adaptation of the popular video
game is B-grade, but it’s certainly kick-ass fun. No, it’s not the most
intellectual movie, and yes, it’s full of corny dialogue. Who cares though….
it’s Mortal Kombat! The special effects don’t look as good now, but when the
movie came out, getting to see the legendary characters on the big screen,
battling it out to a cranking heavy metal soundtrack was totally entertaining.

Bruce Greewood & Michael David Wright as brothers in "The Malibu Bikini Shop"

1. The Malibu Bikini Shop (1986)

Directed by David Wechter.

The other movies on this list are not numbered in any order, but The Malibu Bikini Shop (released in some territories as The Bikini Shop) is definitely my #1. It’s the story of two brothers who inherit a failing bikini shop from their aunt. To save the shop from closing, they carry out a bunch of wild ideas, including a two-way change room mirror and bikinis with stitching that dissolves in water.

This has to be one of the top cheesiest movies of the 80s, complete with a silly story, lots of permed hair, loads of topless girls, a steamy hot tub love scene and some absolutely classic dance numbers.

When I was a kid, I had a video of this movie recorded from TV and it was my one of my favourites. Even though it’s content is actually not suitable for children, I didn’t know that at the time. To me the movie was full of fun, bright colours, upbeat music, comedy, and pretty people dancing around, even if they were semi-naked, big-boobed girls. From the view of a seven year old, I guess a corny dance performance in bikinis, with an army-themed video clip style and a pumping smoke machine can seem pretty cool. Anyway, how could anyone not love a dance scene packed with all the most awesome 80s dance moves, you know the ones I’m talking about.

Recently I discovered something surprising. There’s a song originally used in the movie called “Girls of Rock and Roll”, which backed the bikini contest scene. It turns out that this track was covered in another one of my other favourite movies at the time The Chipmunk Adventure (1987), where it was sung by The Chipmunks and Chipettes!

This revelation could lead one to suggest that The Malibu Bikini Shop was so appealing to me because of the music. Despite the fact that I obviously couldn’t tell the difference between Chipmunks singing it or a girl shaking her boobs to it.

Many actors have gone to extreme measures
for their art. This includes weight loss, weight gain, learning to play
instruments, learning languages, physical training, special skills training, psychological
preparation...

Comments 8 comments

Hahaha..Hit it with them all Jade. Brought back some cheesy but well loved moments from our tweens and beyond...well beyond and still continuing. A few more for me would have to include..

Don't tell mom the babysitters dead, Parenthood and Better off dead with John Cusak. All recent purchases and all still funny, fab and dumb as. Seriously the list could go on and on. Must've been hard to choose. Glad Labrynth didn't make it..cos that's just awesome.

Jade Evans 5 years ago from Sydney, Australia Author

Thanks! 'Babysitter' was actually on but got bumped at last minute for Sheena. Parenthood was just a bit too excellent like... Labyrinth :)

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

great hub....I really enjoyed reading this hub...my candidate for this list is Making the Grade with Judd Nelson and Andrew Dice Clay....keep up the great work

Jade Evans 5 years ago from Sydney, Australia Author

Thanks very much Cogerson. Haven't seen 'Making the Grade', but am a fan of Judd "Bender" Nelson, will have to check it out. Notice it's the same director as 'Teen Witch', that's got to be sign of greatness!

Kath Waddell 5 years ago

Was I living on another planet???

Jade Evans 5 years ago from Sydney, Australia Author

Maybe just a generational gap Kath :) Think we saw The Chipmunk Adventure about 3 times at the Wallis cinema at the Bay. But maybe you chose not to join us on that movie...haha

trusouldj 5 years ago from Indiana

Still love Flashdance, particularly the restaurant scene. Teen Wolf, not so much.

Jade Evans 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia Author

trusouldj, I'd probably suggest that you should stay away from 'Teen Wolf Too' then :)