Scott Brown Sorry Elizabeth Warren Forced His Staffers To Do Indian War Whoops By Being Indian

Hey, remember when Scott Brown was all about being a “nice,” “bipartisan” guy, one whom Massholes could send to the US Senate — even though he was a Republican — because when confronted with, say, a starving homeless child, he didn’t automatically light that starving homeless child on fire? Yeah, that’s not really how he’s playing it now. Now he’s more of a “guy who’s flat out running a campaign based on the color of a person’s skin” type guy, aka “the type of guy who is losing.” See those awesome dudes above, doing tomahawk chops and Indian war cries? Yeah, those are all his top staffers.

First there was the totally bizarre “Scott Brown being a dick right out of the gate,” when in their first debate, in answer to the very first question, he brought up Elizabeth Warren’s Cherokee and Delaware heritage, called her a liar, and said you could tell just by looking at her that she’s white. He followed that up with an ad focused exclusively on Warren’s race.

But surely those are just a bunch of frat boy interns what don’t know about not being super totally racist in public, right?

“It is certainly something that I don’t condone,” said Brown when asked about the video. “The real offense is that (Warren) said she was white and then checked the box saying she is Native American, and then she changed her profile in the law directory once she made her tenure.”

Scott Brown is sorry Elizabeth Warren forced his staffers to be so racist by being Indian, you guys. For their next trick, they will all make Chinese eyes at Chinese people and then have “Ghetto Night” where they wear do-rags and drink malt liquor.

Hey, sins of the fathers and all that. Those girls are needing some discipline!

JohnnyQuick

If they want to keep being covered under that evil ObamaCare, Sweet Barry's gotta get his share.

comrad_darkness

Only on dates with missing Tim McVeigh corpse, James O'Keefe.

duchamp2008

are they hot?

Buzz Feedback

Needs more whisky and blankets laced with smallpox.

SorosBot

Wait, why are there so many Atlanta Braves fans in Massachusetts?

ibwilliamsi

They checked the Massachusetts box, then when they went to work for Scott Brown they went ahead and said that they were from Atlanta. I wonder if they have proof of residency for the vote.

Baconzgood

DAMN YOU SOROSBOT!!!!!!!!

SorosBot

I needed to get back after someone beat me to the old "screen doors on submarines" joke yesterday.

LibertyLover

I had the same thought.

BaldarTFlagass

My granddad, who spent the first 65 years of his life in Mass and is now 96 years old, is a lifelong Braves fan. They were the Boston Braves until 1953, Milwaukee from 1954 thru 65, and moved to ATL in 1966.

SorosBot

Hell, I used to know an old guy who would still root for the Oakland As because they used to be the Philadelphia As; until way back in 1954.

BaldarTFlagass

Hell, I root for the Red Sox and the White Sox because I'm a foot fetishist.

Sean O

Do you root for the Jets, too?

BerkeleyBear

You know only Dick Morris got that joke – callbacks that old need links.

I just don't see how Warren thought claiming she was from Delaware was ever going to be a plus.

Negropolis

Joe and Jill libel!

RedneckMuslin

He wantum smokum peace pipe.

Barbara_

We should just sit back and watch to see if Elizabeth takes Columbus Day off. That will explain everything.

Jus_Wonderin

We could try to bribe her with some trinkets or maize.

Barbara_

My husband works for a Native American company and a salesman asked him if they would be taking Columbus Day off. Um, no.

Boojum

They should, in the same way Pearl Harbor Day and 9/11 are "celebrated".

BerkeleyBear

You mean Repression of Indigenous People Day, don't you? (Berkeley renamed it something like that decades ago). Made me cringe when people in the Midwest still treated that and Thanksgiving as unabashedly pro-whitey holidays. Well that and calling Japanese people Orientals because that's more polite than Nips.

You libtards always looking into things that aren't there. These people are clearly Braves fans.

SorosBot

Despite the racist name and tomahawk chop, they still manage to be less obnoxious than MA's own Red Sox fans though.

http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

Surprised they didn't go with Redskins. Too obvious I guess.

pinkocommi

I object to Scott Brown calling himself Brown.

Estproph

Yeah! Like he's Romney or something! The nerve!

Mittens Howell, III

Scott Brown claims to be a person of color. As you can see, he's not.

Boojum

Scott Brown claims to be a person. Failed that, too.

Negropolis

Clearly he's not. Just look at his pale, Irish potatohead.

eggsacklywright

"Stupid fucking white man."

jzgplj

What a bunch of complete fucking assholes! Not that I'm surprised, or anything.

gullywompr

Too bad she didn't pose newd for a magazine or sumpin' – then those Brown staffers could have made a truly interesting video.

SmutBoffin

Republicans are a plague.

ChernobylSoup

"I'm running for a seat in a very prestigious legislative body. One of the longest sitting and most reputable such bodies in the world. My opponent's a injun but she's really sorta not."

chascates

Hey, if she's not an alcoholic diabetic on the dole she doesn't fit the profile.

ChernobylSoup

Bingo. Don't forget bingo.

prommie

Choctaw Bingo, specifically.

CthuNHu

Hey, she never claimed to be a tea partier…

Schmannnity

Yet another reason not to hire staffers from FSU.

djneedlz

But I think Fuck Shit Uppers would hear that racist shit and get to cuttin some bitches.

eastcoastelite

Da Fuck??

cousinitt

I really want Elizabeth to say something like, "I'm sorry my opponent has decided to make my ethnicity a part of his campaign to stay in the Senate. You'd think being a centerfold model would be enough qualification for a Republican."

Generation[redacted]

"The real offense is minorities doing things which are so easily mocked."

On the other hand, people always ask me about my Native American heritage. I have none that I am aware of – I'm pretty much Irish and Scottish with a dash of German. But apparantly I look like I have native blood. Go figure.

The moral of this story? Scott Brown is an idiot. But you knew that already.

second_gen

Ever see a picture of the Chief of the Cherokee Nation? He's 1/32 blood quantum and could pass as a way hotter John Ensign.

sullivanst

In other words, Liz is more Cherokee than the Chief.

Living in Joy

I'm 1/2 Cherokee and 1/2 Irish and lily white.

http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

Most of us Okies in California's Central Valley have Cherokee blood in us. My grandmother was 1/4 and I'm 1/16. I'm a blue-eyed cracker who can't get a sun tan to save his life. But I still feel it in my blood, you know? I used to make beads for a living, but now they're made in Japan. I wear a shirt and tie, but I'm still part red man deep inside. I hear this relentless, ominous drumbeat in my head all the time, getting louder and louder. Someday I may rise again and teach whitey a lesson.

And sometimes I realize life would be so much less confusing without pop music.

BerkeleyBear

Well my skin is never true fishbelly white from some sort of genetic anomaly (probably some enzyme issue) and slightly almond eyes despite having 100 percent (as far as I can tell) European ancestry. Probably some Mongol raped some woman in my paternal line 600 years ago and left us with some parting gifts in the gene pool.

Not_So_Much

Weird. You would've thought that a hairy nekkid man with a staple in his junk would be more klassy?

RedneckMuslin

Hey how are ya! Hey how are ya! Hey how are ya!

BaldarTFlagass

"For their next trick, they will all make Chinese eyes at Chinese people"

I guess NewsCenter5's Janet Wu caught a break this time around…

http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

As did Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa.

Estproph

Out west in Gopher Gulch lived Indian tribe.
Then come the pioneers, pushed them aside.
All Indians leave but one, she vows to fight.
What can one Indian do?
(Gibberish)

Go go Warren, watch her go go go.
Go go Warren, watch her go go go.

Here comes the Senator with his staffers,
Both are a-roarin' and a-chargin'.
Go go Warren, watch her go go go.

One little Indian, no others near.
Scott vows this one soon disappear.
Fighting the teabillies with stupid galore.
What can one Indian do?
(Gibberish)

Doktor Zoom

OK, so that WAS a real TV show, and not just a childhood hallucination.

Estproph

It was part of Underdog, I think…

ThundercatHo

I want Cher to ride in on her lil' paint pony and beat the snot right out of him or just stake him out on an anthill and make him listen to "Halfbreed" on an endless loop.

KeepFnThatChicken

That's harsh. I hate Cher.

Jus_Wonderin

Even if she could turn back time?

KeepFnThatChicken

Why is it that when celebrity wimmenz "turn back time", they look like Jack Nicholson as The Joker?

BerkeleyBear

Nah, there's no life after love.

ThundercatHo

Hey, I thought I was being nice by leaving out the part about pouring Karo syrup over his nutsack.

NellCote71

"make him listen to "Halfbreed" on an endless loop": Gitmo libel.

stopthemovie

Hey! wherethefuckourwe!

BigSkullF*ckingDog

I tell people I am part rhodesian ridgeback because it makes me sound exotic.

Beowoof

Racist pricks, that doesn't happen in the north. I remember how well busing went in Boston.

Baconzgood

NEEDZ MOAR CASINOS!!!!

rickmaci

Bingo!!!

SexySmurf

The worst part was when the staffers tried to make Elizabeth Warren cry by dumping all their empty cans on the side of the road.

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

So, because she doesn't have black hair, brown skin and doesn't wear some helpful cultural markers like say buckskins and a war bonnet, she couldn't possibly have any native american DNA? I'm Italian on both sides and I have very fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes, so I guess I must be full of shit, since I don't look like Anna Maria Alberghetti? What a contemptible tool this assclown is.

Jus_Wonderin

I have always wanted to know "who mada dis salad"? (I hope that won't be taken wrong).

Guppy

I'm Italian on both sides and I have very fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes

Vandal.

Blueb4sinrise

I suspect some funny business there in the alpine area.

Boojum

Neds moar fethers.

Katydid

My brother has blue eyes and blonde hair….he could easily pass for a Nazi. We're German Jews, so half-breeds, obvs. You can't tell he's Jewish just by looking at him. Well, not clothed, anyway.

Wow. You'd think the next step for these assholes would be throwing all the tea bags in the haabar…except they're his base. Boom!

http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

Isn't he thinking of Nicky Haley?

Boojum

Dot, not feather.

Doktor Zoom

Tech support, not casino

NellCote71

Good ones Boojum and Doctor Zoom.

BerkeleyBear

That is somehow more acceptable and more deeply troubling to me. Well played. We would have also accepted 7-11, not blackjack.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

When was the last time she tried to sell anyone fireworks or cigarettes? Doesn't sound very indian to me.

http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

i realize there will be nothing funny after november 6, but god i wish it was november 7.

Doktor Zoom

Whaddya mean? There will be 4 more years of Butthurt.

Goonemeritus

They strike me as typical college Republicans, nasty little tricksters that all want to grownup and be the next Lee Atwater. There was a great article a few years back contrasting college Republican and college Democratic organizations. The main point was that the Republicans used it as a farm team to teach dirty tricks. Elections to national leadership are viciously fought and hundreds of thousands are spent in negative ads. By contrast College Democrats just kind of show up and talk about stuff.

Katydid

Along the same lines, this is why you can't rally the Dems like the teabaggers….Dems don't take marching orders from know-nothings, while the Repukes will line up to follow anyone who's nastier than they are.

NellCote71

I was in Young Democrats in the sixties. We stayed up until 2 p.m. parsing one sentence about the Viet Nam war in our state party platform. Granted, we were drinking, but, by gosh, we were earnest.

Callyson

“It is certainly something that I don’t condone,” said Brown when asked about the video.

Oh FFS, I am sick of these assholes trying to get out of holding their people accountable by wussy comments like this. This isn't Mittens speaking about Limpballs: this is a fucking staff member of yours, Scottie. If he continues to serve on your campaign, clearly you *do* condone these junior high antics.

Asshole.

sullivanst

“It is certainly something that I don’t condone,” except to the extent that I'm paying them to do it.

I'm so glad that they all received my memo about how acting like Alpha-male d***hebags will neutralize those votes against Lily Ledbetter and for the Blunt Amendment with the ladies.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Next debate can Liz give Scott a wounded knee to the groin?

Jus_Wonderin

It is obvious he at least needs a manscalping.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

There were Native American Mohels? Who knew?

Jus_Wonderin

Royal Deluxe II

YouBetcha

I like him much better circa 1983 and shirtless.

http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

Ah the old tried and true "Reverse Macaca." Get your plants in the audience and have THEM stir up racist shit, instead of the other way around. Those guys sure earned their sandwich coupons today.

BornInATrailer

Putting the squaw in squabble.

ph7

True story: when I was 17, and just as stupid as I am now, I selected "Native American" on the SAT application, because, you know, I was native to America.

I already knew I was headed to the state school that my family could afford, so I was confused when I got a letter from Stanford University, all the way on the other coast, urging me to apply, and informing me that a lucrative scholarship may be available. I probably should have capitalized on my mistake, but, hey , Go Terps!

prommie

Don't go back to Rockville.

KeepFnThatChicken

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Seriously, I was wrong. I want anti-depressants now.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Oblios_Cap

Go Seminoles!

IncenseDebate

He needs to be scalped. With votes!

http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

Thank God at least somewhere in this country, Republicans are willing to run on real issues.

LibertyLover

Keep your pants on, Scott. They're getting all twisted.

Callyson

The incident occurred outside of a pub in Boston on Friday.

Sorry, guys, but if that's what alcohol does to you, it's time for your AA meeting…

This could be some sort of useful strategy when you think about it. You send out "staffers" to act like racists dicks, then you say how terrible it is, and you get the racists to back you, and you get to show people how compassionate you are when you say how much you hate this kind of thing! It's just crazy enough to work.

sullivanst

Just cynical enough to make a man all stabby.

DCBloom

I look very white, but have Native blood. There are genetic traits like weird feet, shovel teeth and very straight hair, but those are not easily recognizable. All people see is my pasty skin, freckles and red hair. Even though I'm 1/2 Jewish, I still got all the white traits.

So when fuckers like this say things like "you can tell by looking" I feel very stabby.

bikerlaureate

"The real offended party here is me, because I'm not comfortably ahead in the polls."

prommie

We used to have "Pimps and Hos" parties when I was an undergrad. But those Fijis were the real racists, they would dress like polynesians and walk around in purpleface wearing grass skirts and carrying spears for like a fucking week!

owhatever

If she is truly an Indian, let's see her long form smoke signal and her photo ID from the job in a Mumbai telephone center.

DahBoner

Dot/Feather Fusion!!!

TavariousChinaSmith

Jesus, when did racism towards the Native Peoples become so acceptable in America? Oh, right…

glasspusher

My fist would like to introduce them to the great Indian chief hematoma (with votes)

kyeshinka

They're still not back to their responsible, mature chirpy selves yet?

wapitiscat

Growing up, I got teased because my mother was Scotch-Irish and my father was half drunk. But nothing like this.

Thank you. Try the veal.

Guppy

my father was half drunk

So you're saying genetics brought you here?

comrad_darkness

I think the only thing that's different between old republicans and new republicans is the new republicans lack all self control.

punkneverdies

These guys don't even get why the 1/16th indian thing is a smudge on Warren's otherwise spotless record, do they?

rickmaci

I guess Brown intends to answer that age old question of "How low can he go?"

It's not about what you look like or how many Native Americans there are in your bloodline, it's about the validity of your personal and cultural ties to the Native Community, according to the Native Community.

Negropolis

Well, except the Cherokee leadership who no likey the Blah Cherokees. You know, the folks they totally used as slaves (though, in a way, different than how Europeans used them), but don't want to grant them citizenship in the nation. But, I digress…

sullivanst

Is it just me, or is that list of staffers a potentially Hatch Act-violating mix of campaign and Senatorial staff?

I mean, "Constituent Service Counsel" sounds very much like Senate staff, "Deputy Chief of Staff" could go either way but suggests Senate staff also, whereas "State Director" and "GOP operator" are pretty unambiguously campaign people.

Also too, please, can we please fucking stop with this grotesquely absurd suggestion that minorities have it easy in this country? Please, just for a moment, you lilywhite Goobers, get down off your fucking cross, you smug asshole patricians whining incessantly about how hard it is to be the most privileged pampered dicks on the planet.

mustangsavvy

"How white man. Asshole."

iamrrm

It's about time to ride in and scalp that motherfucking Brown – with votes.

Yellerdawg

Seriously…is that all they got? Their planning meetings must be hell;

"What issues can we hit today?"
"Nothing Man! She's got us on healthcare, the economy, likeability….everything!"
"OK…keep going with the Indian thing. Anyone here got any feathers or a buckskin on 'em?"

Gleem McShineys

So this proves that Warren is the real racist, by pointing out the racism?

Wow, I have almost acclimated to Bizarro world!

fawkedifiknow

But, has he called her a squaw yet?

Fox n Fiends

Scott Brown can't even control his own employees. No wonder he's a Republican.

ttommyunger

Big talk from a paleface whose entire Scrotum Pole can be covered by one staple.

Negropolis

This is just getting sad and digusting. His true character is being revealed as he feels this slipping away from him.