First and foremost, thank you so much for all of your support over the past year. It has been a great journey for me: new blog, new job, and pregnancy. So many changes have happened, and I appreciate that you stuck with me through all of them. Now that my baby boy is here, my life has dramatically changed. My priorities and passions have shifted. I have gone through a major transformation.

I have found new meaning in my life, and this has translated to a new focus. I would like to invite you to join me at my new website and blog The Milk Leech. I have worked hard to create a safe space for women, moms, and moms-to-be. There are different categories, but I hope you will find them just as helpful and enlightening as before. Peruse by tab (top) or category (sidebar), but stay a while and let me know what you think.

Thank you again for your help in making this year what it has been, and making my first blog a success in my book. I hope you will join me again on my new blog. ​

One Christmas, one New Year, one birthday, a new job, and a new baby. My how much can change in a year.​About a year ago today I was writing about the fires of transformation, talking about how I was trying to transform my life, and delve into my inner depths to try to unearth who I want to be and discover who I was meant to be. I still haven’t reached my finish line; indeed, I don’t think you ever can. We are meant to be constantly evolving and changing as individuals, but always for the better. Passions change, life stations change, and so we must too change with them.

As my life has changed, blogging fell by the wayside. It was getting harder and harder to find the motivation—and time—to write when I was working full time and pregnant. Needless to say, once Baby T arrived, there wasn’t even enough time for daily showers and going to the bathroom, let alone writing at all. Much like my garden outside, Ainsley and Arrow is now seeded with weeds and wilting in the summer heat. The pages aren’t blooming with new posts, and the colors are less vibrant.​The brilliant thing about nature—and creativity—is that it can always be brought back to life. It never completely goes away. Planting new seeds, adding water, and giving a garden time is all it takes to blossom anew.

For me, giving birth has given way to another birth: a spiritual one. Suddenly, my priorities have changed, my eyes opened, my heart filled, and a new personal life has taken its’ first breath. Following my passions and transforming into who I was meant to be has never been so pertinent. The need to light my own fire to become a self-reliant woman and mother has never burned brighter. Sometimes, starting over isn’t because something has died and we have failed, but because something new needed to be born and our direction changed. The power of starting over is that we get to start again, this time making something new.

As with all new change, it is scary. I confess that I have been anxious and nervous about coming back to blogging and making a business plan, not because I haven’t done it before, but because I left it for so long I had forgotten what it was to be inspired and motivated to chase my dreams. As I (uncomfortabley) write, I feel a new calmness in my soul and envision a different future for myself. Not one that requires me to leave my beautiful new baby for 8 hours a day, but one that lets me be the mother I want to be while also being the independent woman I want to be.

It feels good.

Not all gardens are successful. Some plants die while others thrive, and that’s okay. It is all in the process of planting the seeds and seeing what blooms. In truth, it is more about becoming the gardener than growing the flowers. I plan to get my hands dirty, starting today. It has never felt so rewarding.

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope you are doing something fun this weekend.

Today I am very pleased to share an uber-cute maternity dress provided by Pink Blush Maternity. My experience so far is that it has been tough to find cute and flattering maternity dresses. This little blue lace number is fashionable and, most importantly, comfortable. It stretches to fit any stage of pregnancy. When it arrived it sure didn't look like it would fit, but true to their word my 8-month belly fit in it just fine. I have another Pink Blush Maternity dress and absolutely love it. I've gotten more compliments in their dresses than any other. The clothing truly fits a pregnant body beautifully!

Non-pregnant fashionistas: don't despair. Their Pink Blush website also features adorable women's dresses, ranging from every day to dress, maxi to thigh-high.

Don't take my word for it (but do!) and take a look! Click any image to shop.

Head over to Instagram for a chance to win a $75 Pink Blush Maternity shopping spree! Simply follow me at ainsleyandarrow, tag as many friends as you want, and be entered to win!

(If you've won a contest with Pink Blush in the past three months you will not be eligible to win.)

I see you over there, feeling guilty that you are taking time to surf some blogs and read quietly to yourself. You are probably feeling like there are a lot better things you could be doing, and mentally ticking off all the tasks on your to-do list. I know you. I am you. But I’m suggesting to take a week to just “be,” and not “be doing,” and see how it feels. Drop a few things off of your list, and refocus your priorities. Focus on your health. On your partner. On your child. On your dog. Anything that might get a little lost in the shuffle. This is why I am telling you to start cutting back …

If there is one thing that pregnancy has taught me it is that I take on way too much—and beat myself up about not taking on more. I decided that it would be the best idea ever to give our house a make-over, including paint, new furniture, and some slight remodeling to a few rooms. My brilliant plan also had a hard deadline—my June 4th shower, when family and friends would arrive. Add that to a full-time job, morning sickness, daily fatigue, and other daily responsibilities and my husband and I quickly felt like we were drowning.

Nothing ever goes as planned, and projects got delayed and took longer than we thought. My changing body and chemical exposure restrictions meant I was more and more limited in what I could help with, so my husband was left to captain most of the projects. I have since then realized that we had taken on way too much, but I couldn’t help but feel that I wasn’t doing enough. The house was a mess, my blog neglected, and I wasn’t taking the steps I was planning on to grow an independent business. I was feeling majorly disconnected from my husband. I was feeling like a failure.

My wake-up call happened after I had traveled to two back-to-back work conferences and a bridal shower in just two weeks, and I was experiencing extreme exhaustion. My body wasn’t responding well. My OB looked at me and said “You are seven months pregnant. You need to slow down.” She was right. I was pushing myself so hard, just trying to get to June 4th, and I wasn’t taking good care of myself.

You don’t have to be pregnant—or anywhere near it—to be feeling overwhelmed. As women in today’s society, we are expected to be everything—plus more—to everyone. We need to be high-achieving professionals, doting mothers, good family members, attentive lovers, participating society members … the list goes on and on. I don’t know if other women experience this, but no matter how hard I work I feel like I always have to do more and am never doing enough. Maybe it is just my hard-wiring to be an overachiever. Regardless, my mom helped bring my ambitions back into focus—“You are a human being, not a human doing.” Read that again please: “You are a human being, not a human doing.” It was time to change my mental tape to just being as a woman, expectant mom, and wife, instead of telling myself to do, do, do, do. I needed to take some steps back and realize I mentally, and physically, just couldn’t do it all. And that is okay.

It is okay to just be great at a few things, and say no to the rest. The world won’t fall apart. Your future won’t be doomed. In fact, I am willing to bet you’d be a lot happier and feel more fulfilled when you put the book down. Just let go. Let go of your expectations and enjoy your reality. It can definitely be uncomfortable, and feel downright wrong at first. You almost have to re-train yourself to run a new mental tape and live in a different state than you had been living before. Take a step back, and just be. I’m think you will thank me.

I am officially 30 weeks pregnant and am all the combinations of overwhelmed, anxious, excited, joyful, and terrified. I am about to enter one of the most exciting and joyful journeys of my life thus far. It is also a huge change. We will be family of three now, not two. We won’t be free to just get up and go as easily (but I guess we weren’t really anyway since we are dog parents, right?). There have been so many things to think about, that thinking about yourself kind of gets lost in the paint colors, bottle brand options, and birthing classes. One of the things I have deciphered as part of my anxiety is struggling with being able to recognize and conform to my new identity.

Everyone tells you “Your life is about to change so dramatically” and I get that, I didn’t think that it wouldn’t. Everyone also says that you won’t be you anymore, you’ll be mom, you won’t want to do all the things you used to enjoy, and you won’t have time to do them anyway. This is the part I am struggling with. Do you have to give up who you were just because you have a baby? I would tend to disagree. I in no way doubt that you are about to lose whatever free time that you had for a while, and that your priorities will change. This can happen in any major life change (which is why it is good to be flexible and be adaptable). However I don’t anticipate that I will lose interest in the things I like to do. I would expect that I would still want to celebrate Halloween with costumes and extravagance. That I would still like to go out dancing. That I would still like to take tropical vacations. I bristle a bit at the insinuation that I will suddenly stop caring about these things and more simply because there is another little body in our house.

I agree that there will be new things that I love doing, too, and I’m sure most of them will be centered around the new little joy in our lives. I also recognize that I will need to add “mom” to the descriptive list of woman, spirited individual, wife, dog mom, artist, scholar, etc. But I also think women get into trouble when they throw themselves into motherhood and don’t leave anytime for themselves. From my experience, when I throw myself into anything and neglect self-care it takes a physical and emotional toll. I soon may not have the flexibility to take care of myself the way I used to, but I also don’t agree with the fact that you just can’t anymore. Making a little “me time” is important in any aspect of your life. It’s important in relationships, when you’re in school, when climbing the corporate ladder, or dealing with heavy family issues. The best part of you is you, and it is important that this identity remains throughout.

I can hear some of you moms right now. “ARE YOU KIDDING,” you are saying, “Just wait till you’re a mom and see how much time you have for yourself.”

I hear you. I’m listening. I’m not going into this new journey blindly optimistic. I am anticipating the tiredness, the selfless giving, and that time will fly by before I know what is happening. I have heard stories. All I can tell you is that this mom-to-be is going to try her best to keep all of these things in mind, and attempt to find some kind of balance between self-husband-baby. There are going to be three of us soon, and I couldn’t be happier. I look forward to evolving into my new identity, a complex being of many roles, but still being the best woman that I can possibly be.

Hi Arrow readers! I've missed you. I dove headfirst into pregnancy and house projects. Needless to say, I am overwhelmed and things have gotten a little bit out of control. In my final months of pregnancy, I have been trying to refocus my goals and priorities and put my new life in order. One of the things that has been missing is blogging. I miss it! One of my goals is to try to be better and post more frequently. I appreciate your support and logging on in my absence; the readers have really kept things going. So thank you!

Today is a dreary Friday, it's raining (again). I have been traveling a lot for work, and my mind is in a state of chaos. One of the best ways I find to get organized is to make lists. I love lists. I would have lists of lists-- if I ever let myself get that crazy and carried away. One of the current lists is baby things to buy...and there is A LOT of stuff that they recommend you need to be a mom these days. Of course you don't need it, but it is easy to feel like you aren't prepared and on top of it without the things on all of these lists.

Fortunately, the fun thing to shop for is a diaper bag. My husband asked me "Aren't you going to get a boy-looking bag since we are having a boy?" HELL NO. I'd rather have a pink and glittery bag, defiant of child's gender. More so because, even though it may tote butt paste and diapers, a new purse should be one of self-expression and something you really love. I even refused to buy something neutral enough that my husband and I can share. I anticipate there being a lot of boy-ish things in my future-- i.e. legos and Star Wars-- so fashion is one place I can still be me. If you're in the market for a new diaper bag (or maybe even your first!) then this is the place for you. To be quite frank, you could still rock these bags even if you aren't a mom; I think these bags look stylish enough to tote work files, knitting, or a weekend's worth of getaway clothes!

*This post may contain affiliate links.

Okay so I know that this is Friday's FIVE favorite things...not 6... but I'm throwing you a bone-us here (ha!). I could hardly choose just 5, so you get one free-- kind of.

1. Summer-y neutral palate

A stylish design to be sure, this bag features a light gray and white design while still be functional enough to resist spit up and apple juice. Perfect for the designer mom on the go.

I couldn't resist this unique twist on polka dots! Artsy, stylish, and practical, this bag screams multi-functional. Can be used as a diaper bag or tote. The transitional features of this bag make it worth the splurge.

Baggu Diaper Bag

5. Add some blue to your hue

Every outfit needs some color, and this medium-tone blue is versatile enough to pair with whatever you are wearing. All the pockets make it a mom's best friend.

Tory Burch 'Thea' Messenger Leather & Nylon Baby Bag

6. Geometric bag with lots of storage

As any mom will tell you, babies and kids require a lot of stuff. This beautiful marriage of tribal meets geometric print will leave you saying "I do." Plenty of room for whatever your kid needs.

A lesson in changing our vantage point.

I had finally landed the job. After getting my master’s and searching for— and scraping to get interviews for—the perfect job, I had it. A job that was finally in my field, finally used my skill set, and paid much more appropriately than the admin job I had been holding. I was ecstatic. I was so thrilled to have nailed the interview (or at least fooled them enough into believing my valor) that I was soaring higher than a helium balloon in the sky after slipping from a child’s little chubby fingers. “The hours on end of job searching,” I had thought, “was over.” I could finally come home at night and rest. I didn’t have to keep filling out those incessant boxes, answering the same questions over and over again.

All of this was, and still is, true. I am still here and enjoy what I am doing. I get to work with people and community and it fits very nicely with my degree. However, there is still some little…something missing. Some little hole in my heart that isn’t being filled. I had dreamed that after finding a great job I would be the most content person in the world. I didn’t expect that I would still feel as if I was chasing some elusive, invisible slip. But here I am, pondering where I went wrong.

I have figured out that it isn’t necessarily somewhere I went wrong, but more that my view of success and my life after achieving it wasn’t accurate. I didn’t take into account what I had already known: that my field of study wasn’t my life’s passion and therefore would never leave my cup completely full. I hadn’t chased down those childhood dreams, but settled into another course, and expected the same outcome. What makes more sense is to be able to define our reality, define “success” and “failure,” in new lights. When planning and aiming for your next steps, make sure that you approach it with full-fledged optimism but also grounded realism. For me, it would go like this: Yes the job fit, was interesting, and suits me well. No, it doesn’t fulfill my creative and free-spirited side. Thus, I would also need to find other outlets to fulfill this unanswered desire for my soul. I would need to add in art and writing and blogging, and not expect that just one thing would hit all the marks. “Success” would be a healthy balance of my day job to use my degree and pay the bills, and also my soul job of creative endeavors. I’m not a failure because I am still not 100% happy or fulfilled, I would only be a failure if I didn’t strive to meet these other needs and let myself sit empty on the shelf. Not to say that there isn’t a job out there for all of us that ticks all the boxes on our “must have for happiness” list, and God bless you sister if you have found it! For most of us, however, we need this reality check in order to resort our priorities and imaginings into proper order.

We can let our reality define us as successes or failures. Or, we can instead choose to define our reality. To keep adapting it until we meet our quota of personal success. It’s all in the viewpoint.

Uncomfortable questions pregnant women get asked frequently... and we wish you wouldn't.

Pregnancy is full of changes. Obviously, right? I knew myself that things would change and be different, but I wasn’t really ready for the magnitude of changes that I would be going through. It’s a whole new experience and something you can never prepare for once your body starts changing, inside and out, and is doing things it has never done before. For me, it’s actually quite unnerving. It’s exciting to be creating a life, but it is scary to say goodbye to the body I knew and experiencing rapid changes as a little being is growing in there. Going into pregnancy imagining the movie Alien didn’t help either I’m sure. I had lost a lot of weight previously, and am not even close to being back where I was, but the entire shape of my body is changing and things that would fit when I was at my heaviest doesn’t fit anymore. It’s hard to be confident sometimes when your hips are wide, feet are swollen, and skin is in crazy mode. I’m sure the hormones have a large impact on self-esteem and moods, too!

I am very lucky to have an extremely supportive husband, family, and friend circle. I feel even more supported by women now that I am pregnant than I had before. Pregnancy brings a new community around you that you never had before, and is almost like being initiated into a sisterhood. It’s a beautiful experience. With that being said, there are also those who, I’ve experienced, don’t really have a filter when asking pregnant people questions. Even more surprisingly are the ones that have been through pregnancy and still ask silly questions. They may not mean any harm, but it isn’t any less hurtful or detrimental to a pregnant women’s state of mind. Here are the worst questions I’ve been asked so far, and here’s why:

“You’re in your second trimester, shouldn’t you have more energy/not feel sick/not be tired/etc?”

Oh, you’re right. I don’t actually know how I’m feeling, but the books and websites do. Okay, being a little snarky, but it’s very difficult in any situation when people assume they know how you should be feeling instead of understanding how you actually feel. Yes, the second trimester is a lot better for many women. Yes, I do feel better overall than the first trimester. However, growing a human takes a lot of resources, and everyone responds to pregnancy differently. For me, I am tired very often, it’s hard for me to exercise at anywhere near what I was used to doing, and I still don’t feel well first thing in the morning. And that’s okay. It is important for pregnant women to set their own boundaries and limitations, and is equally important for partners, friends, and family to accept it and be just as supportive. Instead of asking the question in the former way, why not just say “How are you feeling these days?” or “Tell me about that experience.” I am always touched when someone asks how I am doing, and actually means it.

"Wow you look so big. You’re only [X] months?”

Does any woman, pregnant or not, like being told that they look big? Nope. No one I know would appreciate any comment like that. Pregnant women are no exception. It’s a delicate time for them, with their bodies growing-- exponentially at the end—and even though a big belly might mean a healthy baby, many women are still uncomfortable about themselves. Every single woman carries a child differently, and a lot of factors go into that: height, starting weight, bone structure, weight gain, diet, genetics, etc. The person might have meant something else, but all the woman hears is “You look large.” Ouch. Instead, try to just give a compliment, or saying “I love seeing that baby belly!” Women are typically excited that they have a baby belly, because it means baby is growing! They just don’t love thinking of themselves as large, or how large they might potentially get.

“Are you sure it’s not twins in there?”

Oh you mean am I sure that the human I have been growing for months and have seen on an ultrasound is singular? Yes, actually, I’m really sure. I was expecting to get this question, but wasn’t expecting to get it at only 5 months. Even though I thought I was prepared, I was hurt. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I looked large and unattractive. It was way too early in the pregnancy to start feeling like that. I should definitely not be giving anyone enough power to influence how I am feeling about my body that is growing organs on a cellular level, but it is hard not to sometimes. Again, the speaker may not have meant any harm, but it’s hurtful. Just don’t ask the question. Don’t act surprised at the belly size. Just be kind.

“Are you planning on breastfeeding?”

Usually, if I am asked this question it is from family or close friends, and I don’t mind discussing it at all. Usually, in that case it is just out of curiosity, especially from friends who don’t have kids yet. When it becomes awkward is when strangers or coworkers ask you about breastfeeding. In that case it is usually because they are being nosy, or want to tell you why you should breastfeed. I am a strong believer in a woman doing whatever is best for her and best for her child. Sometimes women cannot breastfeed, or need to do a combo of breastfeeding and formula, and that is perfectly fine. As long as the woman is informed and her doctor is guiding the process so that baby is getting whatever s/he needs, it should be no one else’s business what her plan is.

“Are you just loving being pregnant?”

No, actually. I’ve heard about and read experiences of women who love being in the state of pregnancy. They feel great, they love the little kicks, and feel just dreamy for ten months. That is perfectly wonderful. I am not one of those people. I don’t hate it; far from it. I just don’t love it. It is a unique female experience, and I find it fascinating, wonderful, and frightening all at the same time, but I wouldn’t describe my feelings towards it as adoration and love. I love creating a little individual that is one half my husband, and one half myself, and I do feel reassurance and wonder at the little kicks I feel. The experience is not likely to prevent us from having more children (God willing), but I doubt I will look back on it and say “Oh I just adored being pregnant.” And that’s okay, too. Some people respond to this answer with blatant confusion and disapproval, which always induces feelings of shame at my own pregnancy experience.

It appears, among other kinds of shaming of women, that there is a lot of shaming involving pregnancy and the expectations that go along with it. It’s okay to not love being pregnant, it’s okay to be terrified of birth and not want to go through it, it’s okay to not want to be told you look huge, and it’s even okay to be disappointed when the baby’s gender isn’t what you hoped it would be. This is an individual’s experience, and absolutely no one should be judging anyone’s experience of pregnancy. Women should be supporting each other as sisters, and defending each other to judgmental outsiders.So next time you see a pregnant woman, just tell her that she looks great and super adorable with that baby bump. No questions asked.

Getting through Hump Day looking fabulous in the Outfit of the Day.

I don't know about you but this week is moving verrrrrryyyyy slowly. Maybe it is because it is so warm and beautiful out it makes me very sad to be sitting at a desk at work. When I step outside for lunch and the sunshine hits my face I immediately want to keep driving and not go back to the office. But if life has taught us one thing, we have to have money to survive. So I work hard and keep my job.

One way I do feel a lot better during the day is if I am feeling fabulous in my outfit. These days it is getting to be more of a challenge to dress an ever-growing baby belly. I have had several mornings this week of trying on dresses and quickly tossing them aside because they have grown too short to wear without leggings-- and it is far too hot for leggings in this weather.

I am still wearing non-maternity dresses, the ones with the stretch and are a midi-length work a lot better. I have found that the key is dressing in layers so that when the office is cold but it is hot outside I can seamlessly transition between the two.

This outfit features a black and white striped sleeveless dress and long chambray shirt from Forever 21, and an army-inspired vest from Target. The boots are from Marshall's, and the purse from my grandmother's closet.

Now of all times, comfort is key. Fortunately, it seems like there is a lot more options for expecting moms so we don't have to always turn to expensive maternity stores or empire waists for our wardrobe.

Hello my friends, how was your week? With the hovering spring season, it seems like life is speeding up and the days are moving faster. My daffodil plants have grown with the warm weather, the yellow buds ready to burst with radiant blooms. The warm weather as sung to them like a siren, and they are weeks ahead of their season.

I love the spring season. I love seeing the bright colors make their way into the clothing in stores. I love the longer sunny days. I love hearing the birds sing again, making it seem like it should be warmer out than it is.

Spring also means babies! Usually baby birds, squirrels, and other animals, but this year it seems to mean babies for people, too! A lot of my facebook friends are pregnant right now and having babies between now and August. Must be something in the air...

This Friday I want to celebrate all the mamas and mamas-to-be out there with some pregnancy inspired favorites. Here you go!

1. Trendy distressed jeans

I am obsessed with my maternity jeans from Target. I prefer the kangaroo-pocket, over the belly jeans because I find they stay up better. I also love them because I went a full size down in these, so they definitely run big!

2. Dress your bump monochrome

One of the best pieces of advice is to dress your bump monochromatically. Dressing in all black or a mix of similar colors keeps you looking chic and not frumpy. Make sure to add a great accessory like a different color purse or leather to keep your look fresh.

Emily Blunt, pregnant with second child, has her fashion game right!

Photo: Daily Mail

Photo: Daily Mail

3. Dress your bump bright

Okay, so totally different piece of advice: take pride in your bump! Be proud of your new womanly figure and enjoy your new curves. The pregnant form is a beautiful form, and there is no reason to hide it. Dress in bright colors, stripes, patterns-- anything you feel fabulous in!

4. Maternity leggings

I am bananas about my leggings, so when mine started cutting uncomfortably into my abdomen I was pretty bummed. Fortuntely I found these leggings with a kangaroo-pocket. They fit very well, are a little thicker for no show through, and even have a low cross-cut backside so you don't feel so sausage wrapped.

5. Boppy body pillow

I'm the first to admit, I thought spending money on a big pillow was asinine. I mean-- it's just a pillow, right? Wrong. I was having trouble getting comfortable sleeping and since the store didn't have any regular body pillows, I broke down and bought Boppy.

I LOVE BOPPY. The best bed partner since my husband. It really helps you get comfortable, is washable, and is curved to fit a pregnant woman's body. I can't recommend this pillow enough.

Boppy, as it is affectionately called in my house, has three pieces and velcros together. I don't use the belly support piece yet, but I am sure I will get to that point in mere weeks. Looks weird, works miracles. Seriously.

Letting go of who you are supposed to be and living who you are meant to be.

I had two aspirations in life. The first was being a paleontologist. I imagined myself on sandy plains, picking delicately away at ancient dinosaur bones while the sun poured down. I even had an outfit I would wear—denim overall shorts, a white sleeveless shirt that tied at the neck, and my arrowhead necklace. And sturdy boots of course. Quite a fashion statement for an 8-year old carrying a home-made book of dinosaur classifications (one section for carnivores, and another separate section for herbivores).

My other aspiration was to be a marine biologist. I wanted to work at Sea World, specifically, and spend my days water bound with the dolphins and whales, moving as if weightless and aerial in the blue dyed water.

I spent my childhood days studying various species, drawing them with accuracy to the best of my abilities. When I visited Sea World I dreamed of being the one in the wetsuits on stage. When I watched Jurassic Park I was preoccupied with how the bones of centuries-old animals were brought to life in skin and flesh. Did I mention I would also be an artist, too?

As I grew older I started growing out of my clothes, my shoes, and my childhood dreams. More practical voices, both in reality and in my head, were saying, “You won’t make any money at that.” “You should chose to be something like a doctor or nurse.” “You shouldn’t expect to get a job doing that.” “You should be going to school at X.” Vivid dreams of interacting with animals and paintbrushes started to fade, and practical mental intrusions like “nurse” or “surgeon” started taking their places. These were also the days I felt least like myself; an awkward teenager who hated how she looked but desperately tried to fit in with all the kids, and not knowing what to do with her future, only vaguely knowing what I should be doing. I had adopted the monologue internally: “You should be doing it this way. You shouldn’t feel like that. You should be this person.” This went on for years. And years. And years.

I let others dictate my formative years of what I wanted to do with my life and what I should be doing. So instead of pursuing something like art or marine biology, I pursued nothing, and finally picked a major because I had to, and because it was what I already had the most credits toward. My interest in it never caught fire. I regret those decisions, looking back, but looking backwards never helped anything. I might not be where—or who—I am today without those years of mental wandering and self-purpose struggles.Today I decide to be a different person. Well actually, I decided to be myself. I stopped should-ing on myself. I decided to be the artist and now paint canvases with whatever comes to mind in whatever colors I choose. I plan to eventually enter myself in an art fair, once I work up the courage for it. I decided to be the jewelry maker, and will be making my best friend’s head piece for her wedding in October. I decided that my retirement dream is to live on the beach, and volunteer at a marine rehabilitation center where I could help marine life live better lives. I’ve even gone swimming with dolphins twice. No dinosaur bone discoveries yet though…

I didn’t quit my day job (yet). I’m not that gutsy. One day I hope to be. My plan is to create a life where family and independence come first, and the typical 8-5 is non-existent. I am aware this will have its drawbacks, just like the career I have now has. Nothing is perfect.

But I feel free.

I feel free when I imagine this life. I feel complete when I imagine this life. I feel right when I imagine this life.

It might take a while to accomplish, but nothing ever worth doing is easy or simple. I feel solace in knowing that I am working toward the path that still has (much) smaller footprints of my childhood self. It feels good to know the bold and sassy girl inside again. It feels good to be me.

Combining spring trends for a fresh look.

This spring is all about pastels, particularly light and blush pink. Also springing up-- haha-- is the military inspired styles with olive hues. Missed the memo on pink? Read more about it from last week's Friday's 5 Favorite Things.

New trends can be overwhelming, but I decided to try it out a little bit early and breathe some new life into a wintery February. Here I combined a longer hem blush pink blazer from H&M with an olive green shirt dress from Target. To keep it weather appropriate, I slipped on thick black tights and kept the shoes basic with a black, stacked rubber heeled boot, also H&M.

For my mama-to-be readers, none of this look is maternity-- except the tights. I am constantly on the look out for fashionable wear that isn't the typical maternity empire waisted moo-moo.

When shopping this spring, look for dress that have the elastic waist. When trying it on, stretch it out and make sure it can accommodate a growing belly.

If you are a fashionista, then you know that this season is all about pink. I recently learned about Pantone and the Color of the Year-- this year it is Rose Quartz and Serenity (blue). I am particular to the Rose Quartz, it has a significant and powerful meaning as a stone. It is the crystal of feminine energy, compassion, and peace-- definitely a good thing to have! Combining my love of the color and my love of wearing it, I am very excited to update my wardrobe with some unique pieces in shades of pink, rose, and blush.

These are my favorites I am lusting after right now...

1. Pink and flowing designs

Perfect for both spring and summer, look for pink pieces that can transition well through the seasons by pairing them with a white suit jacket or toughen them up with a gray leather jacket.

Toughen up and modernize your look by pairing something army with something pink. Get the look:

Target

Target

4. Rose Quartz

This list wouldn't be complete without the muse for the season. Rough quartz for your bedroom or wearable quartz for on-the-go will help keep your positive energy flowing and leave you feeling strong yet calm.

Adding a jacket to your existing outfits is an easy way to incorporate the spring trend without committing to a lot of pieces. The look comes out feminine yet polished and commanding- perfect for the office yet light enough to carry to happy hour.

The importance of making the time for down time.

The alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m. I reach groggily for my phone, tapping blindly on the side table for what feels like a plastic casing. The beeping blares on, and I realize that the phone is plugged in and resting on the chair. A strategic move I had planned—this forces me to get out of bed. Regardless, I tap “snooze” and fall back into bed again, savoring those nine minutes.

The day is busy—phone calls, e-mails, work—the usual. Before I know it, it is time to go home. I used to get dinner started right away, but lately my pregnancy brain drives me toward the couch to sit with my feet up for a minute. Often, my angel of a husband will get home and start cooking. Before I know it, we have had dinner, watched some tv, and talked about our day, among other topics of discussion. Weekends are usually busy with friends, laundry, and errands. Before I know it, it’s Monday and that darn alarm is going off again.

Does this sound familiar to you? I’m sure many of you have similar stories, to varying degrees of difference with jobs, kids, or people in your lives. Some of you might have classes on top of this, adding an extra work load and extra stress. Or maybe you are getting married—or divorced—which is an extra set of tasks to be completed.

I hear you. It’s hard. Like, really hard, actually. Some days it seems like just getting out of bed might be the hardest thing you have to do today. Life is busy, and it is only getting busier for us. Whenever I took some time for myself to lounge around do nothing or watch some of my overloaded DVR I would feel extremely guilty. “I really should be exercising.” “I should clean the bathroom.” “I should finish that book I started 6 months ago.”

No, you shouldn’t.

What you should be doing is taking some time for yourself. Listen to your body. What does it need? Sleep? Exercise? Mindless zoning out time? When you don’t take time for yourself, you are neglecting your needs and not letting your brain rest and recover. It is important to take physical and mental breaks from the daily grind in order to let your body recuperate and start coming back to a place of balance.

When we start to lose balance in ourselves, we begin to feel more stress and a disconnect from the world and others around us. We begin to feel a bit lost, and that aimlessness can be unsettling. It may feel like we are going through the motions and not truly living. If you’re ever felt like you are just doing something day in and day out because you have to and without fulfillment, you are living without balance.

Restoring balance can be overwhelming, so much so that sometimes we just give up on even trying because it seems so impossible. Like any other task, break it down into small chunks. A bubble bath one night, a tv show and wine another, or even a ten minute walk by yourself around the neighborhood. The more “me time” you fit in, the better you will start feeling. Assign a night and a time to yourself if you really need the extra prodding. Book a date and keep it, no rescheduling.

Life is busy. And that’s okay. Just make sure that part of your “busy” includes some down time, and that time is reserved just for you.

Pigs in a Blanket get an upgrade...

Most of us know and love Pigs in a Blanket. They go perfectly with a family gathering or party with appetizers. They are delicious, and so easy to make. But, they are old hat. It's time to make way for a serious upgrade.

Cheesy Pigs in a Pretzel take a little more time to make, but the results are outstanding. Added bonus: they're easy! Imagine if you had served these oinkers at your last Superbowl party-- can you say hostess with the most-ess? Tuck this recipe away for future use, it's a keeper!

Prep first by greasing two baking sheets. Next, cut or tear each section of crescent roll dough in half; you will be able to make a lot more pigs. Next, take a pig and a piece of cheese and wrap it in a piece of dough. Try to pinch close any openings. Put aside on plate. Repeat until you have wrapped each set of weenie and cheese with dough.

Next, put 5 cups of water and 3 tablespoons of baking soda in a pot and bring it to boil. Put in 1-3 doughy pigs at a time into boiling water. When I made them, they initially sunk and then began to float after about 30 seconds. Either way, use a straining spoon and remove doughy pigs after about 30 seconds. Place doughy pigs on baking sheet, leaving room between each for the dough to expand.

Repeat with remaining doughy pigs until all have been quick boiled and are spaced on baking sheets. If some of the dough opens up that's okay, just leave it. Melt butter in a microwave safe cup until liquid. Lightly brush or carefully spoon butter onto top of each doughy pig, coating surface. Sprinkle each with sea salt.

Bake at 350 until dough becomes slightly browned, They should look like little pretzel bundles. Remove and let cool. Serve with ketchup and mustard, or your favorite dipping sauce, and enjoy. Yum!

Mine were waayyyy too close together, so they were hard to scoop apart. Take heed and spread them out on your baking sheets.