I jumped into the deep end and got my hair wet. Life has never been the same.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Letting Go

Driving home from North Bay today, I did a lot of thinking.

Over the last couple of weeks there wasn't a whole lot of time for that. I was juggling work, and running around getting things ready for Andrew to leave for college. It was manic at times: setting up his on-line banking (so we can transfer money to him - lol), buying supplies (a couple grand worth) and generally helping my 18 year old suddenly adult son get ready to leave the nest.

It occurred to me today that I'm not ready for this. But apparently, I don't have a choice. We were sitting at lunch on the patio in North Bay Bay at Boston Pizza and I was eternally grateful for the the knock off Chanel 'move star sun glasses' that I bought at Pink Closet last week, because we were half way through lunch before saying our good bye's and I was already in tears.

I looked at the grown up young man sitting across the table from me but all I could see was the little boy I left at the door of kindergargen 13 years ago - giving me a nervous smile as he waved and said "bye mumy". Or the kid who stood on the front porch and waited for his friends to stop by to walk with him to the first day of grade 9.

Where did the time go? Have we taught him what he needs to know to survive in the real world? Will he remember not to put the whites in with those dark hockey jerseys when he does his laundry? Will he eat 3 square meals a day or will it be Doritos and Pepsi?