Part 1

A/N: This story was written back in October (hence no Weasley family tree with a single Charlie) for Charlie Weasley's fangirl, Girlyswot. Kathleen Pen is an OC I created for Charlie Weasley's other fangirl, Kellypen. Thanks to Sherry and TDU for the betas. Part II coming soon!

Beta note: Just in case anyone wonders why some things are underlined instead of italicized (as is typically done on-site), it's because I thought it seemed more "hand written" that way, so it was a formatting choice in this case ;-)

Troubadour Press 144 Diagon Alley London 14 October 1997

Kathleen Pen 12 High St Hogsmeade

Dear Ms. Pen,

Troubadour Press is pleased to include your novel, Keeper of My Heart, in our Romance Catalogue for the 1997 Christmas season. The marriage of convenience between the romance novelist and the Dragon Keeper whilst on the run in the mythical land of Terra Incognita was realistically and touchingly conveyed. We are sure our loyal readers across the globe will find this latest offering from Kathleen Pen a welcome diversion in these trying times.

Enclosed you will find a standard contract for publication, (which you will need to sign ASAP), a mock-up of the cover art and the dust jacket copy (which you will need to initial ASAP). If there are any dedications or acknowledgements, please let us know ASAP. The galley proofs will be ready within the week for your approval and return (ASAP).

Yours,

Basil NaughthemManaging Editor,Troubadour Press

~*~

14 October 1997

Dear Charlie,

I wanted to let you know (ASAP) that my latest novel was just accepted for publication  and they're rushing it through (ASAP) to be included in their Christmas offerings!

I've never written a novel that quickly and I wasn't sure if it was any good at all when I sent it off, but it looks like someone else liked it! I can't thank you enough for all of your help with the dragon keeping details. When I met you on the Abraxan Stage, I never dreamed our little encounter would lead to a whole book.

While I'm very glad that we landed by a pond in Germany and not in Terra Incognita, I do wish we had somehow found the key to defeating What's-His-Name like Christy and Kean did whilst we were hiking through the Black Forest. Still, it was an incredible experience and one I'll never forget. I don't think Russia or even a real life Count Leo would have provided as much inspiration.

Right now I'm glad I returned to England to write the book, instead of continuing on to Russia. My friend from Hogwarts, Tonks  you must remember her, she was in Hufflepuff, too  is going through a rough patch. She's pregnant and her husband has left her because of his involvement in the war. I've been visiting her as much as possible, trying to keep her spirits up. If I was to write their story, I would have had him return after one night away, realising that their love is stronger than his self-loathing  but alas, that's one story I can't write.

I will send you the advance copy of the story I did write. You don't have to read it (but I wish you would).

Kathleen

PS. Sorry about the ASAPs but that is my editor's favourite acronym.

~*~

30 October 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply. (ASAP isn't always possible) I've been busy with things, but today is my mum's birthday and I've taken the day off to visit her and to write to you  finally.

I'm glad your novel is going to be published and that it stars a Dragon Keeper. If you had called your main character Charlie then I could brag to my twin brothers that I've been immortalized in fiction. Of course I want to read it.

Yes, I do know Tonks and her husband. Don't tell her this, but we're working on him.

Sincerely,

Charlie

~*~

7 November 1997

Dear Charlie,

Here is the advance copy. I want you to know that I had nothing to do with the cover art  although if I had a figure like that witch, I'd be showing cleavage down to my navel, too. You might want to Charm it if you're going to be reading around your brothers.

Tonks told me a little bit about what you're doing. Since I'm not a Gryffindor, I'm going to tell you to be careful, okay? Those are magic words that will keep you from harm.

Sincerely,

Kathleen

~*~

10 November 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I've only read the first three chapters, but already I think Kean is an idiot. Christy is fun and resourceful and very sweet  a much nicer girl than the bird he was shagging in the first chapter. She kind of reminds me of you except she doesn't talk as much. Why didn't he see that right away? But then he went ahead and married her! If he did have doubts, he never should have married her in the first place.

As for the cover art  well, maybe all the blood in his head is going to his arm muscles. That would explain his thickness when it comes to the right girl. Not-So-Keen would be a better name. Ha, ha. And where are his burn scars? He doesn't look like any Dragon Keeper I know.

Tonks shouldn't tell you anything about what I'm doing. So don't ask her.

And thanks for the magic words. Gryffindors like to hear them, too.

Charlie

~*~

10 November 1997

Dear Charlie,

Now I feel bad about Kean. The reader is supposed to love him! He's a free-spirit who has generously tied himself to the mousey writer in order to protect her. I hope no other readers are annoyed with him, although if he fell in love with the leading lady on sight, then there wouldn't be much point in telling their story. A little inner conflict makes a hero interesting and three-dimensional.

Do I really talk that much?

I haven't asked Tonks anything about what you're doing, but I'm very good at reading between the lines. We lived in the same dormitory at Hogwarts for seven years, so I know her well. Speaking of which, we're living together again. I've moved in with Tonks for the time being. Neither one of us likes living alone and she could use help with the rent. If Remus returns (I hope he does), I can always find another place. Her dad stopped by the other day. Poor man is on the run and he's worried about his pregnant daughter  but he was as cheerful and sweet as ever. He and Andromeda used to visit me every month and bring me magical newspapers when I was nursing my uncle at St. Margaret's. Uncle Chester was fascinated with witches and wizards and was always happy to talk to them.

I don't remember talking that much during their visits.

I'll finish this by writing the words you did like. Be careful and stay safe.

Kathleen

~*~

11 November 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I didn't mean to make you angry. I do like the book  a lot. The action scenes are very exciting and I like Christy so much that I'm angry she has to feel like an ugly duckling next to "Mr. Dream"  who isn't so great if he doesn't even know his own mind. It's not romantic, it's annoying.

But then I don't know anything about writing, so you shouldn't take my word for it. This is the first book I've read since I've been out of Hogwarts  and it's ten times better than the stuff we had to read for school.

Sorry if I hurt your feelings.

I'm glad you're with Tonks  she needs someone to talk to and lift her spirits. You might talk a lot but you always have something to say.

Charlie

~*~

11 November 1997

Dear Charlie,

Okay, maybe I am a little sensitive when it comes to my writing, but it's really devastating to know your characterisation hasn't worked. Why would Kean, who is nota traditionalist (he chose Dragon Keeping over being a Quidditch star), ever want to get married? He can have any woman he wants and can do just what he wants  unencumbered.

I know you don't have to answer this, but I'd really like to know. Maybe I have wizards all wrong.

Kathleen

~*~

13 November 1997

Dear Kathleen,

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you  we were busy. Tell Tonks the password is "Harry James." She'll know what I mean.

I chose Dragon Keeping over Quidditch playing and Iwould certainly get married. A player like Mr. Dreamy is sure to get lonely in his old age. Believe me, dragons don't talk  at all.

I just got to the part where they're mending the dragon's wing. That really got to me  poor beast. At least Kean knew what he was doing. Can you sing like Christy?

Charlie

~*~

16 November 1997

Dear Charlie,

I heard your voice on the wireless! That's so funny that you chose "Kean" as your name. You must like him better after healing that dragon in chapter twenty. Now that I know what you're doing, it doesn't lessen my worry. Your poor mum must be on tenterhooks. Still, it's good you can spend so much time with your brothers. I could tell from the way you talked about your family that you were very close.

Thank you for explaining what you didn't like about Kean. I'm glad he is somewhat redeemed in your eyes by taking such good care of the Hungarian Horntail. The only reason Kean knew what he was doing is because of your expert advice! I have to warn you that the next chapter is a little racy. Those sorts of scenes are staples of the romance novel, so don't give me a lecture on morality.

No, I can't sing like Christy. All that talking must have injured my vocal chords.

Kathleen

~*~

18 November 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I was going to give this book to my sisterfor Christmas! I was going to suggest it to my mum!

Charlie

~*~

20 November 1997

Dear Charlie,

I don't know what to make of your last letter. There weren't enough lines to read between. Sex is a normal, beautiful part of human existence. Did I get something wrong? Christy and Kean are married  I don't think they did anything bad or immoral, even if they weren't married.

I hurt your feelings again. I'm sorry. Of course, it's a well-written scene. I'm just a bit shocked. Reading about a super man like Kean who can last for what seemed to be hours and make the first time that good for his partner makes the regular blokes out there feel a little  inadequate.

I agree with you about the beautiful and normal part of human existence  I just don't think most men are that imaginative. Although, if they read romance novels rather than Playwizard

My mum always warned us about scarlet women, so I wouldn't give her a book with a sex scene in it. And I'm immature enough to not want to know how we came into existence.

Charlie

PS  I might give it to Mum, but Ginny  never.

PPS  You have a nice voice when you talk, I can't believe you don't sing.

~*~

21 November- 1997

Dear Charlie,

It's not the mechanics or the techniques involved in that scene that are important  it's the feeling! Since it's from Christy's point of view, she's not noticing the  er  strain he's under. What she does notice is that he knows what he's doing and she's very, very happy that he does. Thank you for being so honest about male performance anxiety, it's something I've never considered before, since most of my knowledge comes from books and I've never seen a romance novel address it. And believe me, I've read a lot of romance novels.

Isn't Ginny in her sixth year? Tonks and I were reading some fairly steamy novels at that age. I remember Tonks' favourite was May Loves December about a Potions Master who had a torrid affair with his student. Since Snape was our Potions Master, I couldn't get past the mental image of that nose and that sneer. Tonks told me at the time that I was being too literal. Ironic that she did ended up marrying an older man and a teacher to boot. The May/December story turned out tragically, I just hope theirs doesn't. Although they are going to have a baby, and there's nothing tragic about that.

Tonks and I are trying to learn to knit. Usually I can learn just about anything from a book, but in this case, I think I need first-hand instruction. The baby blanket I've been trying to knit looks more like a macramι hanging plant holder. Tonks thinks her scarf would be perfect for garrotting an intruder.

I just sold a Christmas story to Witch Weeklyand have started writing about Katarina and Count Leo. Even though I haven't been to Russia, I'll be able to write it since Basil (my editor) agreed to send my queries to one of his counterparts there. Who knows? I might get a new pen friend out of it.

Kathleen

PS  I don't know if it's the quality of my voice, I simply can't carry a tune in a bucket. The choirmaster at St. Margaret's said I lacked the ability to listen. Must be because I talk so much.

~*~

1 December 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I didn't realise I was talking about male performance anxiety. And if I was, I meant it in general terms.

I can see why a story about a Potions Master and a student wouldn't be to your liking. What was your favourite story when you were that age?

I still can't believe Ginny is old enough to be reading things like that, but maybe she is. I'm sure she would like your book since it has a lot of action in it and it ends happily. I finished it last night, but I knew the ending already because I had skipped ahead after chapter one just to make sure Christy was going to be all right.

Now I wish I had something else to read since I don't have an excuse to bow out of Fred and George and Lee's stupid Exploding Snap games. Or even better, I wish you were here to talk to. There's nothing new to talk about amongst us  and whenever there is something new to talk about, it's usually bad news.

Charlie

~*~

5 December 1997

Dear Charlie,

You skipped ahead? I'm surprised that someone with your sense of adventure wouldn't like suspense. Well, you can't skip ahead with this first part of Katarina and Count Leo's romance that I'm sending to you (since the ending is not written), but I will reassure you that all of my stories have happy endings. Maybe you can give me some ideas about Leo's character, since he is an outdoors sort of man and doesn't talk very much.

You never said if you liked Keeper of My Heart. Did you like it? Or did Kean bother you too much?

I met your mum yesterday! She dropped in to give Tonks and me a knitting lesson. Did you tell her we were looking for lessons? I don't care if you did, since now I finally understand how to end a row and start a new one! I've knitted a foot of something. It started out as a blanket, but it's getting narrower. I think it might make a passable scarf.

Anyway, I loved your mum. She was very sweet to Tonks and said all kinds of bracing things about husbands and babies and wartime. I could tell that she knows them both very well and isn't taking sides. She's a very warm and nurturing person, isn't she? You have her brown eyes.

She was very interested in how we met on the Abraxan coach and then told me to tell you that she hopes to see you on your birthday next week. Charlie, you should write to her  and so should Fred and George.

Kathleen

PS: My favourite romance when I was at Hogwarts was called Brother in my Arms. It was about this heiress named Merry Sue who was stunningly beautiful and kind and intelligent. I don't remember the particulars, but I think she had to marry one of the brothers for some reason. She was wooed by every brother in the Williams family except for the middle brother who was too shy since he wasn't particularly athletic or smart or rich. But she ended up picking him because he was the kindest and loved her the best.

~*~

12 December 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I didn't write to Mum, but I did visit and now I have birthday cake to look forward to. Thank you for the scarf. I can't believe that was your first attempt at knitting. Mum says she will make my Christmas jumper in the same shade of blue. I know Fred and George and Lee will appreciate that style detail.

Yes, I liked the book. I wouldn't have read the whole thing if I didn't like it. I haven't read very much of Katarina and Count Leo's story  but I will. We've been busy lately.

My mum loved you, too. She thought you were good for Tonks and that you had a beautiful complexion and pretty hair. I agreed with her, of course. She understood about my lack of letters when I told her I was writing to you. So now I'm off the hook, but Fred and George have no excuse.

I think your favourite book sounds less demented than Tonks' but not by much. I don't know of any brothers who would all fall for the same girl.

Charlie

~*~

24 December 1997

Dear Charlie,

Happy Christmas! It's almost midnight as I'm writing this  and it's snowing ever so lightly on the moor. I can't help but sing carols with weather like this. Tonks doesn't mind my poor singing because  you'll never believe it  Remus came back.

Yes! It was terribly romantic and touching because  Gah! That look in his eyes when Tonks opened the door. He was so sorry and hopeful and she was so happy and tearful. I tried to make myself scarce, but even in my bedroom, I feel like the extra twig on the broomstick.

I suppose I'll rent a room over the Three Broomsticks after New Year (ASAP as Basil would say). I've never wanted to live in a big city like London  although I want to visit all the big cities of the world, of course. The drawback to Hogsmeade is putting up with all of those Dementors  but if I don't have anyone to talk to and I have to stay indoors, I'll get a lot of writing done. Basil is after me to have Russian Rendezvous finished in time for the beach readers  although I don't know who is going to feel safe enough to loll on a beach with the way things are going now.

I do hope you're all right. I haven't heard from you in two weeks.

Kathleen

~*~

31 December 1997

Dear Kathleen,

I can't believe I missed you! I thought you were moving to Hogsmeade after New Year.

I hope you can produce a Patronus with all of those Dementors around. Tonks said you could. If I have to stop sending you letters we can communicate that way  but just short messages.

I found this book in a second-hand bookshop in Ottery St. Catchpole. I hope it's the right one. Sorry it's late for Christmas.

Happy New Year!

Charlie

~*~

3 January 1998

Dear Charlie,

I can't believe you found Brother in my Arms! Yes, it is the same book. I've spent the last day reading it, and it's just as good as I remembered. Thank you, thank you. It really lifted my spirits and relieved me of having to listen to my own thoughts  something I really needed. No wonder I liked the middle brother, Harley. He reminds me of you because he speaks gruffly but is really rather sweet deep down.

I'm sorry I missed you, too. More than I can say.

I don't know if I've made the right decision moving to "Occupied Hogsmeade" as I'm coming to think of it. It's a dreary place indeed. No one goes out unless it's daylight, which seems to last about two hours this far north. Were the days always this short when we were at Hogwarts? I don't remember.

Anyway, there is a Caterwauling Charm up, so that once it's dark, you can't venture outside your door. Poor Madam Rosmerta's business is hurting, since she has to close by late afternoon. Still, it's nice and quiet here for hours on end.

The Death Eaters were curious about me at first  wondering why I would move on Boxing Day, why a young witch was on her own  that sort of thing. When I told them I was a writer and showed them my Katarina and Count Leo story, they backed right off. One of the wizards told me his wife has all of my books and would be glad to know I was working on another! I don't know if I like remembering that these horrible men have families and might have a few redeeming qualities. Or am I so thrilled to have readers that I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt? One good thing is that they won't be suspicious of all the mail I send and receive.

Don't worry; I can do the Patronus Charm. I practiced tonight after I finished reading the declaration scene between Harley and Merry Sue. No matter how depressed I am, a good declaration scene always cheers me up  especially the ones I write. Unfortunately, Katarina and Count Leo are still far from that part in the story.

Can you guess what my Patronus is? I have several thoughts about what yours could be.

It's so cold tonight! The windows of my room are frosted over and I can feel a draft even though there is a roaring fire in the grate. I hope you're safe and warm somewhere.

Kathleen

~*~

9 February 1998

Dear Kathleen,

Your little bird Patronus chirps as fast as you talk. I've never seen a Patronus message deliver so much information in such a short amount of time. Luckily, I can send you a letter today instead of relying on my Patronus. Your editor, Basil (who is a lot younger than I pictured him), has agreed to mix this letter in with the first part of your manuscript. (He's going to post it ASAP.) He also suggested that in the future I should send you charmed fan letters with messages encoded. Luckily Bill knows how to do that kind of magic.

So if you receive a gushing letter from Edith Underwood, you'll know that it's from me. I'll send the decryption incantation separately with my Patronus.

We have to be careful with the post because we were raided at Potterwatch the other day. I won't go into details, but it was scary to say the least.

It was wonderful to finally have a letter from you again. As much as I love your shaggy lion with the crinkles around his eyes, it's good to have more than one sentence at a time from you. Your last letter had fourteen sentences! What abundance.

Can you tell I have a lot of time on my hands? I'm actually counting sentences. Your last letter made me think about security, so I have charmed the eleven letters you have written to me to look like astrology charts for my characters. Your last letter is an Aquarius  "friendly, inventive, and original." However, Aquarians are also detached from emotions sometimes. Charlie, are you really all right? I wish you'd tell me more about how you're doing  maybe your next letter will be an emotional Pisces  although I don't want to wait until 21 February to hear from you.

I'm neither happy nor unhappy. I'm writing with enthusiasm, which is always a good thing. I wrote the funniest scene between Nigel, the courtier and rival for Katarina's hand, and Count Leo. I'm sending it along in hopes it will make you smile. I would never skip ahead to the declaration  even to cheer myself up. The denouement  the moment when Katarina and Count Leo get together  will be my reward for my hard work and patience. Besides, the end of the story always turns out slightly different from my original thought, anyway. For instance, Count Leo now has crinkles around his eyes. I blame your lion Patronus.

Speaking of Patronuses, I wish I knew what kind of bird my Patronus is. Do you know? When it encounters your lion, it looks like one of those birds that sit on hippopotamuses. I don't think Patronuses have nits, so I can't imagine why it's sitting on your lion's mane.

I had a note from Tonks. She's feeling well and eating everything in sight. I'm glad Remus wasn't there for the raid. I don't think she could handle it if anything happened to him. She's worried enough about her dad.

Kathleen

~*~

2 March 1998

Dear Kathleen,

I'm sorry I had to break the news to you about Ted Tonks with a Patronus message. And then your reply I don't think I've ever seen a little bird cry, and I don't think I ever want to again. I couldn't put all of this in the Patronus message, but when we found Ted Tonks, we could see right away that he hadn't suffered. At least he wasn't tortured before they killed him. I know that's cold comfort, but it's all I have right now.

I wish I had your ability with words.

Your Patronus is a Talk-To-Me bird. It has the ability to lift the spirits of those around it. Obviously it's taken a shine to my lion and is keeping his spirits up. In care of Magical Creatures, Professor Kettleburn taught us that birds and animals can develop symbiotic relationships in the wild. I can't imagine what my lion is doing for your bird, but your bird is definitely benefiting my lion.

I read the scene where Count Leo takes Nigel out into the forest to hunt for nonexistent Crumple-Horned Snorkacks. It was really funny  especially the part when Nigel is supposedly tracking the creature by following the "signs" in the dung. You used my welcome-to-Romania story! I should sue for royalties. (Just kidding!) I can see why Count Leo would play such a dirty trick on Nigel since Nigel made fun of him for not being able to fly on a broomstick. But I do think Count Leo should get over himself and learn to fly and not have such a chip on his shoulder. It's really not that hard.

There are nineteen sentences in this letter including this one.

Charlie

~*~

3 March 1998

Dear Charlie,

Thank you for your nineteen-sentence letter. I've been feeling so badly for Tonks, wondering where I'm going next in this story, and generally feeling useless  then I received your letter today.

I know that Tonks will be comforted by that fact that her father didn't suffer. She's an Auror and knows what Death Eaters can do to a person. But it's still wrong, wrong, wrong that Ted Tonks had to die for who he is. I know you know that  you're risking your life (I can read between lines, you know) so that it will all stop soon.

Your suggestion that Count Leo learn to fly is just the scene I was looking for. And you're right. He has been letting that wound bother him for too long. And guess who's going to teach him? Nigel. Yes, some reluctant male bonding would be fun to write and it will make Katarina's choice between Nigel (who is really a nice man behind the foppishness) and Count Leo all the more difficult. I have to laugh that you think flying is easy. A lot of people don't.

I'm so glad the mystery of my Patronus bird is solved. You ask what the lion does for the bird? Why, that shaggy mane warms her cold feet and having such an attentive listener makes her want to sing all the more. Symbiosis is a rather romantic concept when you think about it.

That was the funniest, nicest fan letter I've ever received. "Edith Underwood" really knows how to turn a novelist's head. Not only am I "cute," I look really "hot" when I write. Charlie, did you copy a note someone sent to you when you were at Hogwarts?

I'm still smiling and I'm warmed to my toes.

Kathleen

~*~

15 March 1998

Dear Kathleen,

You are good at reading between the lines! I did copy a note I remembered from my sixth year. I just replaced flying with writing. I hope it didn't embarrass you as much as that original note embarrassed me! I wanted to write a convincing fan letter  but maybe it should have been from Elmer Underwood and not Edith.

Did you like the fan letter I wrote this time? That should warm your toes.

Charlie

~*~

16 March 1998

Dear Charlie,

I loved the fan letter. So Kean grew on you, did he? Thank you for saying my writing was "hot."

I have to keep this short because Basil wants Katarina and Count Leo ASAP.

Kathleen

~*~

18 March 1998

Dear Kathleen,

I wrote a longer letter than you!

Charlie

~*~

18 April 1998

Dear Charlie,

You've been so sweet to put up with my short Patronus messages these past few weeks. I read your last fan letter often as I frantically tried to finish Russian Rendezvous. Either you have a career in fiction waiting for you after the war, or you must really like me/my writing. I hope it's the latter.

Oh, dear, I'm fresh from writing declarations, so I might sound a like a romance heroine in this letter. Sorry about that. I'm just so grateful you haven't forgotten me or given up on me whilst I've been toiling. I know it's futile to ask what you're doing these days, but I still want to know.

Tonks, who is my usual source for between-the-lines information, has been so busy with little Teddy that I haven't heard much beyond the birth announcement. I'm jealous that you got to see him before me. However, there is no way I could possibly leave "Occupied Hogsmeade" and not leave a trail for the Death Eaters to follow to their cottage. So even though I'm dying to coo at Teddy and see his hair turn different colours, I'm content with imagining the three of them happy and snug together.

The days are getting longer here and suddenly, I don't have anything to write. That's the worst part of finishing a novel  there's no purpose in my life until I come up with a new idea.

Kathleen

~*~

20 April 1998

Dear Kathleen,

You still have a purpose in life and that is keeping my spirits up. You never sent me the ending of Katarina and Count Leo's story.

Charlie

~*~

21 April 1998

Dear Charlie,

Here's the ending of Katarina's and Count Leo's story. My favourite part is when he interrupted her dance with Nigel and told her they were getting married. I don't know if that would work in real life, but it seemed to fit all the characters. Thank goodness Count Leo had a younger sister for Nigel to fall in love with. I hate to leave nice characters hanging.

Kathleen

~*~

30 April 1998

Dear Kathleen,

The ending was perfect. I'd write more, but there have been some developments we have to look into.

Charlie

~*~

9 May 1998

Dear Charlie,

I want you to know how sorry I am about Fred. I also want you to know how very relieved I am that the war is over and we made it through. Beyond that, I want you to know that I still can't believe my best friend from Hogwarts won't live to see her son go to school there. I want you to know all of this, but words are failing me at this point.

Maybe I should back up. I saw you on the day of the battle, but I don't think you saw me. It was only later  after reading the Daily Prophet about the dragon that escaped from Gringotts  that I understood why you had scorch marks on your robes. But I did see you in the middle of High Street with your scorch marks and your jaw jutting out like it does when you're especially determined 

And I was so worried and scared and proud of you.

Even when things were looking grim and we all thought Harry Potter was dead and Voldemort had won, you organised everyone for the attack. I truly thought you lot were going to fight to the death and that I would never see you again. Thank goodness I had something to do. I stayed with Madam Rosmerta and the children who had fled Hogwarts. Trying to keep the children's spirits up was easier said than done. I kept thinking that no matter what happened, I had to be the witness for history, no matter how horrible it was

I only thought it happened in novels, but when you sent your lion to me that morning, my knees buckled. It was just too much to know that you were alive. But when your lion told me in that anguished voice about Fred and Tonks and Remus, I just couldn't take it in.

I still can't believe it  not even after attending the funerals. I wish I had thought of this to tell you yesterday at Fred's funeral since it's the only comforting thought I've been able to come up with. And here it is: At least I got to spend time with Tonks and you got to spend time with Fred this past year. There was a reason why our trip on the Abraxan Stage was interrupted, and I guess that was it.

Is it callous to begin a new paragraph talking about the future so close to talking about the past and the ones we love? I hope not. Because if I think about them too much, I'd be lost. Anyway, I have to move away from the Three Broomsticks very soon. Business is booming because people are either celebrating or drowning their sorrows or both. I can't hear myself think and I need to be able to do that if I want to keep writing. Although, if I'm honest, I don't know how well acquainted I want to be with my thoughts right now.

Beyond finding a new place to live, I don't know what I'll do. What are you going to do?

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