Welcome to BangMarryKill.com

Here's how it works ladies and gentlemen: Check out the trio we've assembled for your viewing pleasure. It may be three lovely ladies, three dudes or one of our specialty trios. Then go through and pick one to bang, one keeper to marry and one annoying SOB to kill. It will be tough to pick based on who our trio of the day is, but then again, that's half the fun. Enjoy!

I think I’ve seen one of these women before in my life, and I could really care less about what any of them do. I would sleep with Keeley Hazell if she had a bear trap between her legs. The one I do know is Cameron Richardson and, while she is obviously easy on the eyes, she was in Open Water II so I would kill her. I say that because I actually watched the whole thing and it was awful. She started out playing the young eye candy, but then got annoying and one dimensional. I heard she studied herself to prepare for the part. Arielle Kebbel sort of fits in well because I have strong feelings toward killing one and sex’ing one and could care less about marriage. That’s called art imitating life. I know so many people getting married now and every time I hear about it I resemble the cartoon characters right after they get an acme mallet to the skull. I sit there seeing cartoon stars and birds buzzing around. Pass on marriage. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go cry myself to sleep.

None of us like it but I am fairly sure the most religious viewers of this site are a few girls so here you go. I hope you enjoy objectifying these men as nothing more then pieces of meat for you to ogle. On a completely different topic, I’d like to give an official BMK Thumbs Up (patent pending) to Chris Rock for what he said on Leno’s ‘new’ show the other day. He basically said what rational people have been thinking for a few weeks now regarding Roman Polanski. A bunch of ‘Hollyweird’ people have been petitioning for the US to overlook the fact that the guy drugged and raped a 13 year old girl. I just kept reading what he did then about how guys like Martin Scorsese are signing the petition, trying to let it sink in.

He drugged and then raped/sodomized a 13 year old girl. Really think about that. Times like these have me convinced I can time travel because I would have sworn to you last week that nobody would overlook an act like that just because some time has passed. Yet I woke up in a world the next day where 700 people had signed a petition to urge the US government to forgive a guy for drugging and raping a 13 year old girl because they like his movies!!! What other explanation is there for the world I find myself in? Ok, enough preaching. Go vote on your stupid waste of a poll.

Ok, so here is the final with the three previous poll winners. I think this is a really solid finale because you have two favorites and Nadine as the Cinderella story. Cinderella if she was insanely hot with an amazing ass, but you get the point. I struggled more with who I would marry then anything else. Gemma Atkinson is my self-proclaimed future wife, but Emmanuelle Chriqui is stunning. That said, I will now be mercilessly ridiculed by my friends for saying a girl was stunning instead of focusing on how great a rack she has. Whatever you choose, this is our first set of ‘tournament’ winners and so this is official BMK history. If only some of you actually read what I wrote and didn’t just ogle the pictures before moving on to a porn site. Siiigh.

I feel like I really failed in this one because I could not find a picture of Emmanuelle Chriqui that did her justice. She is almost too beautiful. You know her from Entourage; I know her from being the woman I always envisioned carrying over a threshold. Short of her having a Forrest Gump type IQ or similar anatomy to me, I don’t think there is anything she could ever do to make me not fawn over her. Then there are the other two chicks. I actually think Sophie Monk is pretty hot, but I would snuff that bitch 1,000 times before I game Emmanuelle a rude glance. Lombardo is from Californication and is absolutely hot, but again we are comparing a match to the sun. My friend told me I should stop leading people to the selections that I want. I punched him right in the stomach. Keep that in mind whilst selecting. (Next poll will be the Dimensions finale! Finished with some good news; I am the good cop and the bad cop.)

Same thing: Girl ‘killed’ the least moves on against the winners of the other two ‘Dimensions’ polls. This one is clearly unfair to Malin because guys see cleavage and become babbling idiots. Gemma is one of the hottest women on the planet and Somaya Reece is every guys fantasy in the world who doesn’t love musical theater. I think you should give Malin a chance because…..haha, who am I kidding? That bitch is dead. Stay tuned for round III where we will find out the final pairing.

We're not only looking to feature celebrities, but we think it would be cool to have local people as well... And that means you! If you have something funny to say about your friends and links to 3 good pictures, just visit our Submit Your Own! page and fill out the form. Who knows, spin the wheel and you might be the lucky one getting married... or banged! :D