Frank Gallagher

Vernon Francis Gallagher is the father of six children and subsists in various parts of southside Chicago.

Frank is an unemployed booze-hound, and the son of Neville and Sarah Elizabeth Gallagher.

He married Monica Gallagher, with whom he has seven children (Fiona, Phillip, Carl, Debbie, Liam, Stella, Ben), and one, Ian, who was fathered by one of three of his brothers.

Frank is a rampant deadbeat alcoholic, drug addict, relentless drifter, and morally deficient freeloader, who siphons money out of his children in various ways to barely scrape out a living.

His mother Margaret ‘Peggy’ Gallagher is an OG ex-con fresh out the joint. Tragically she passes while on medical furlough.

Frank has a romance and lives with his kids’ neighbor Sheila Jackson, a borderline delusional housewife, who is afflicted with agoraphobia and cooks him free food. She also makes him wear furry animal costumes during sexual encounters and sticks objects up his butt hole.

Frank spends the lion’s share of his time at The Alibi Room, a local bar. Him and Sheils discontinue their romance temporarily, but remain friends.

Frank even helps his successor recovering sex-addict Jody Silverman acclimate himself to Sheila’s requests, while he lives at her home and eats her gourmet culinary exploits. She kicks him out intermittently for the various atrocities he commits.

Mostly, he cares little for the welfare of his children unless it benefits him directly, but can display care and concern for them in varying circumstances.

Eventually his liver fails as the result of his chronic alcoholism.

He scouts his daughter Samantha for a liver transplant, whom he’s never met before, but she is not a match, and he needs $150k to perform the operation.

Sammi and Sheila buy an operation from an unlicensed Bangladeshi surgeon, who is actually a cab driver. He and a few paid actors perform a song and dance, put Frank under, steal his kidney, and $26k in cash.

Miraculously, Frank survives, is bumped on the donor list, and is supplied a replacement liver. Sheila marries him while incapacitated on his death bed, in order to legally adopt five Native American children.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

“Nobody’s saying our neighborhood is the Garden of Eden. Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether, but it’s been a good home to us– to me and my kids, who I’m proud of, ’cause every single one of them reminds me a little bit of me.” — Frank Gallagher

“Fiona, my rock, huge help. Has all the best qualities of her mother, except she’s not a raging psycho bitch.” — Frank Gallagher

“Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic. Don’t have a clue where he got that from. Wants to be a paratrooper. Knows how to disembowl an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock.” — Frank Gallagher

“Ah, Debbie. Sent by God, total angel. Raises money for UNICEF year-round, some of which she actually turns in.” — Frank Gallagher

First pub crawl I did was when I was 16. Hit 22 pubs before I hurled. Got right back on the horse. Hit ten more. Hurled again. That’s how I got the nickname ‘Boot and Rally.’ — Frank Gallagher

“I’m a grower, not a shower. But trust me, when it’s time to show, I grow.” — Frank Gallagher

Frankie’s got some moolah comin’ his way. — Frank Gallagher

“She’s like mouth herpes. The gift that keeps on giving.” — Frank Gallagher

“Kids.” — Frank Gallagher

We are warriors battling against the dark forces of our primal nature. Knights taking up arms against our animalistic impulses in a debauched culture. Doing battle everyday, gentlemen. Every single day! — Frank Gallagher

You give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. You teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. — Frank Gallagher

“I brought the barbecue to you, my one and only girl.” — Frank Gallagher

And just for the record many great men have been well lubricated. Henry Ford. Scott Fitzgerald. David Hasselhoff. They all kept a bottle close. Beethoven’s Fifth. Coincidence? I don’t think so. — Frank Gallagher

“You can have that with Sheila and give her what she needs.” — Frank Gallagher

“She wants to be sensitive to your recovery, but she has needs.” — Frank Gallagher

“You see, Frank Gallagher knows people. I-I just intuit. I was, uh– I was a psychology major for a semester.” — Frank Gallagher

I am whatever I need to be at the time I need to be it. Christ, write that down. — Frank Gallagher

Now, the human genitalia, to me, is like a homing device– God’s compass. Huh? And each of us has it, and it guides us to our destined homes. Now, our devices don’t work if we try to point ’em in a direction that they don’t want to go in. Because let people chow down on the nether region of their choice– male, female, consenting animal. — Frank Gallagher

“Amenities need to be amended. These mini-bottles are a little too mini. I need to get some of the big boys up here.” — Frank Gallagher

“God gave you the race card for a reason, Julius. Play it.” — Frank Gallagher

A parent’s plight never goes away, no matter how old your kid gets. — Frank Gallagher

“Need any words of fatherly advice?” — Frank Gallagher

Good for you. You’re just like me. We march to the beat of a different drummer. Everyone will try to cage you in, tell you you have to worry about your future. You know what your future should be? This– living life to the fullest, every day like it’s your last. — Frank Gallagher

“Alcohol provides clarity.” — Frank Gallagher

“Three raw eggs, Worcestershire, and a sliver of ginger. Works every time.” — Frank Gallagher

“Tragedy makes kids tough, Fiona.” — Frank Gallagher

“That kid can take a beating. Tough as a two-dollar steak.” — Frank Gallagher

Take me to the Alibi. — Frank Gallagher

“Does that have a Dr. Frankenstein list of side effects, too?” — Frank Gallagher

What about a little something to take the edge off? What about pain meds? — Frank Gallagher

“Well, what’s the point of getting a new liver if the damn thing won’t do what it’s designed to do?” — Frank Gallagher

Look at that. A new day. And I’m still alive. Life is good. — Frank Gallagher

“I never black out for a whole day unless I’m smoking crack.” — Frank Gallagher

And taking prescription medications while drinking and then smoking pot and then smoking crack can lead to questionable decisions. — Frank Gallagher

Jimmy is forced to leave town by his romantic rival, a cop Tony Markovich. Fiona thinks he just left without saying a word, and let her down, just like every other guy she’s ever met in her entire life.

Carl’s school calls social services on Fi-Fi.

The Department of Family Services hauls the ‘youngans away, Fiona has to show up in court and plead her case, which she does and is given custody back.

Fifi gets her G.E.D. and a white-collar job working phone sales for a cup manufacturing company. She starts dating her boss Mike Pratt but seduces her brother Robbie and sabotages the relationship, and subsequently, the job.

Liam snorts cocaine at a party at the Gallagher ancestral household and Fiona eats charges of, possession of a controlled substance and child endangerment.

She violates probation and spends a short stint in a correctional facility.

Fiona marries local musician Gus Pfender. This goes south and she takes up with her boss, owner of local diner Patsy’s Pies, and recovering addict, Sean Pierce.

This relationship also goes south at their wedding ceremony, which is sabotaged by Frank, who exposes and calls Sean out on his persisting addiction to heroin.

“7:15, monkeys. Come on.” — Fiona Gallagher

“No. You’ve got a Happy Meal on the front of that shirt.” — Fiona Gallagher

Okay, now listen up. We are going to stand united and show them that we are a family that is thriving. You got it? Let’s go. — Fiona Gallagher

“Which part? The part where my mom splits? Or the part where my dad is a raging alcoholic narcissist?” — Fiona Gallagher

“I’m hanging by a thread.” — Fiona Gallagher

“You knew he was going to go back to his regular shitty self.” — Fiona Gallagher

“Hi baby bottoms. Did you have sweet dreams?” — Fiona Gallagher

“You’re still on my shit list.” — Fiona Gallagher

Life’s messy. People have secrets. But I don’t want you worrying about this kind of stuff, okay? — Fiona Gallagher

“It’s not your fault. Get some sleep, okay?” — Fiona Gallagher

I’m not into liars. — Fiona Gallagher

“Oh, it’s okay for guys to play the field but not me?” — Fiona Gallagher

“I’d just end up selling it for food and toilet paper.” — Fiona Gallagher

Human nature. Given the choice, people usually do the wrong thing. — Fiona Gallagher

Why am I always the one compromising? — Fiona Gallagher

“He’ll be fine once he comes home.” — Fiona Gallagher

“Jimmy. He’s Jimmy now. Steve was just an alias he used to lie to me about who he really was.” — Fiona Gallagher

I want you home, Lip. We all do. — Fiona Gallagher

“Are you gonna leave? Everybody always leaves.” — Fiona Gallagher

“When I was nine he was gone for a year. He always comes back.” — Fiona Gallagher

The world’s messed up. So much ugly shit happens. — Fiona Gallagher

“Be happy you have a real dad. Not some thieving alcoholic deadbeat who’s puking into the silverware drawer.” — Fiona Gallagher

“I didn’t find Frank ’till a couple days later. First thing he asked me, how much money I had on me.” — Fiona Gallagher

My mother’s bipolar. And my father’s an alcoholic and an addict. He takes what he pleases and he offers nothing. No money, no support. I’ve done what I could to help raise my siblings. I wish I could have done more. I’m not asking for your pity, or your admiration. I just want to be able to give these kids everything that they deserve, because they’re great kids and they deserve better. — Fiona Gallagher

Phillip Gallagher

Phillip Ronan Gallagher also known as Lip sells original essays for a fee, he’ll take your SAT or ACT, and tutors on the side to help the family stay afloat. His neighbor and girlfriend Karen Jackson helps procure clientele.

Lip and neighbor Kevin Ball open up an ice cream truck that they sell tobacco, joints, and brews out of.

Despite pristine academics Lip is expelled from his high-school after throwing a chair through a window and verbally accosting several students and teachers. Regardless of this incident Lip gets his diploma with a 4.6 GPA.

He ends up at the University of Chicago with a desire to pursue admission into the aerospace engineering program. He has a passion for robotics.

Lip runs into an on-campus alcohol violation and ends up in the drunk tank. Subsequently a booze induced tirade, and swing at a campus cop gets him expelled. His friend Professor Youens drives him to a rehabilitation facility.

“Oh, I’m tutoring after school. I should be able to kick in like ten more.” — Phillip Gallagher

“That’s right, and get a real job, not just dipping into the collection plate at St. Tim’s.” — Phillip Gallagher

Fiona takes care of everyone but no one takes care of Fiona. She wouldn’t do anything. Too proud. So we have to. — Debbie Gallagher

“No reason. I’m just checking in.” — Debbie Gallagher

“I understand that you lied to my sister. Why?” — Debbie Gallagher

“Love is fleeting, Jimmy. What are your intentions? You’re distracting her, and I need her in the game for at least a few more years. I can’t have you breaking her heart, or running off with her. So if you’re serious about sticking around, back off now.” — Debbie Gallagher

“Um, no. Although I know many people who have had relations with same sex individuals. I believe all people should have the right to love whomever they choose. And even though civil unions are legal in Illinois, it isn’t enough. Change is possible. It starts with us and–.” — Debbie Gallagher

I didn’t wanna go anyway. All anyone ever does is try to copy off me. But no one wants to sit with me at lunch. Everybody’s mean. Middle-school’s stupid. Mean girls suck. — Debbie Gallagher

“Oh, so it’s fine for me to be an adult when it comes to saving this family from losing this house by falsely accusing a relative of molesting me. But when I want to know where we’re gonna be living for the next year, then I’m just supposed to be a kid and keep my mouth shut, right?” — Debbie Gallagher

I haven’t abused marijuana like the rest of you so yes, I remember. — Debbie Gallagher

“Does this make you, ‘cray?'” — Debbie Gallagher

Because I know I’m going to be a great a mom. — Debbie Gallagher

“Trying to set a good example, for Franny.” — Debbie Gallagher

Responsible, stalwart, intrepid, and altruistic Debs Gallagher is a Guardian.