Thursday, November 8, 2007

English2German

Still up to my nose with the sideline task I undertook couple of weeks ago. And looks like I won’t be getting any long break before the next batch of task arrive at the end of the month. Huh! Am getting too old for this. Too much abuse on my poor back and wrist. But the magnetic bracelet I started wearing last month seems to help a lot with the Carpal Tunnel.

Still rummaging in my saved folder and found this tongue-in-the-cheek illustration of English language. This particular piece was sent to me by someone very special who got it from someone else too. Sorry … again no proper credit. I am taking it for granted the originator of this piece would love to have others enjoy the pun. So in the spirit of sharing fun ... here is

English2German

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl!

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

*****I slept and dreamt thatlife is joyI woke and sawlife is dutyI acted and beholdduty is joy

- Rabindranath Tagore

*****

I asked for Strength…And God gave me DifficultiesI asked for Wisdom…And God gave me ProblemsI asked for Prosperity…And God gave me Brain and BrawnI asked for Courage…And God gave me DangerI asked for Love…And God gave me Troubled peopleI asked for Favours…And God gave me Opportunities

I received nothing.I received everything.

- Author unknown

If – Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about youAre losing theirs and blaming it on you;If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;If you can meet with triumph and disasterAnd treat those two imposters just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth you've spokenTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winningsAnd risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginningsAnd never breath a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinewTo serve your turn long after they are gone,And so hold on when there is nothing in youExcept the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minuteWith sixty seconds' worth of distance run -Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!