Hello moms to be and moms, I'm 5 months pregnant, and single. The father and I had a very short relationship, and I had no real feelings for him. I ended it before I found out I was pregnant. I ended it because I discovered he was using drugs, and he was INCREDIBLY unintelligent, and I wanted nothing to do with him. Now he wants to be involved, but I do not trust him, and I don't want my child to be around his lifestyle. My main fear is as time goes on I despise him more, and more, and I hate that he is the father. I don't hate my baby, but I'm scared I will resent the baby, if he looks like his dad. This is my first child, and I'm really scared. Please help!

Hello moms to be and moms, I'm 5 months pregnant, and single. The father and I had a very short relationship, and I had no real feelings for him. I ended it before I found out I was pregnant. I ended it because I discovered he was using drugs, and he was INCREDIBLY unintelligent, and I wanted nothing to do with him. Now he wants to be involved, but I do not trust him, and I don't want my child to be around his lifestyle. My main fear is as time goes on I despise him more, and more, and I hate that he is the father. I don't hate my baby, but I'm scared I will resent the baby, if he looks like his dad. This is my first child, and I'm really scared. Please help!

Sounds just like my story! But my son is now almost 3 yrs old now. Right after I found out I was pregnant I also found out that he had a huge past of drugs being addicted to crack! He was never "the one" but I wanted to do the right thing for my son so I tried to work things out with the bd. when I was 6 months prego bd relapsed and spent $1000 (everything he had) on crack in 1 night. So at that point I broke it off with us but said he could come around and still see his son. When I finally had my son, bd wanted us to be a couple and a family but when I said it just made him irate. He came around for about a week then everything went down hill. He started becoming threatening and verbally abusive to the point that I went to court and got a protective order on him. He hasn't seen my son since he was 7 wks old and is currently living on the streets smoking crack. But makes my life hell doing things like filing child support on himself during a stint in jail so the court would order a paternity test to get him on the birth cert! Then never actually paying child support. He is just selfish enough that he didn't want anyone else to be able to adopt him if I were to get married! Which by the way has cost me over $15,000 in lawyer fees, while his part was covered by the state since he was in jail at the time. My advice... Get away now! Protect your son and sometimes the right thing is to not have the bd around. You don't want him growing up with bad influences, or having to worry if he is safe because you don't know if bd is on drugs. Your son deserves better

Sounds just like my story! But my son is now almost 3 yrs old now. Right after I found out I was pregnant I also found out that he had a huge past of drugs being addicted to crack! He was never "the one" but I wanted to do the right thing for my son so I tried to work things out with the bd. when I was 6 months prego bd relapsed and spent $1000 (everything he had) on crack in 1 night. So at that point I broke it off with us but said he could come around and still see his son. When I finally had my son, bd wanted us to be a couple and a family but when I said it just made him irate. He came around for about a week then everything went down hill. He started becoming threatening and verbally abusive to the point that I went to court and got a protective order on him. He hasn't seen my son since he was 7 wks old and is currently living on the streets smoking crack. But makes my life hell doing things like filing child support on himself during a stint in jail so the court would order a paternity test to get him on the birth cert! Then never actually paying child support. He is just selfish enough that he didn't want anyone else to be able to adopt him if I were to get married! Which by the way has cost me over $15,000 in lawyer fees, while his part was covered by the state since he was in jail at the time. My advice... Get away now! Protect your son and sometimes the right thing is to not have the bd around. You don't want him growing up with bad influences, or having to worry if he is safe because you don't know if bd is on drugs. Your son deserves better

My on off bf of 3 months is my 7 week old daughter's father. He isn't involved because I want it that way. Not only did he cheat on me multiple times, but used me for everything he could. He spread rumors about me after our breakup causing me to be the talk of our small town, and now my child looks just like him. Despite all that, I still think she is the most beautiful amazing little girl in the world and I can't get enough of her! Don't forget, your child is 50% you in genetics, and will be their own person no matter WHO their parents are.

My on off bf of 3 months is my 7 week old daughter's father. He isn't involved because I want it that way. Not only did he cheat on me multiple times, but used me for everything he could. He spread rumors about me after our breakup causing me to be the talk of our small town, and now my child looks just like him. Despite all that, I still think she is the most beautiful amazing little girl in the world and I can't get enough of her! Don't forget, your child is 50% you in genetics, and will be their own person no matter WHO their parents are.

Like a previous poster said - either change your number or block his. Don't tell him about appointments, don't tell him when baby is born & don't put him on the bc. That way he is forced to go through the court system for involvement, which takes some effort and time. It also means no child support, but sometimes it's worth it to not have the loser around...

Like a previous poster said - either change your number or block his. Don't tell him about appointments, don't tell him when baby is born & don't put him on the bc. That way he is forced to go through the court system for involvement, which takes some effort and time. It also means no child support, but sometimes it's worth it to not have the loser around...

I have to agree. No birth certificate and block him or change the number. You will love that baby no matter what and that is YOUR baby. I'm in the same boat. No child support is worth it, it's hard but it's after best for baby and monmy

I have to agree. No birth certificate and block him or change the number. You will love that baby no matter what and that is YOUR baby. I'm in the same boat. No child support is worth it, it's hard but it's after best for baby and monmy

Leave him be. If he truely wants to see the child. He can go hire a lawyer and go through that process. If he is unintelligent and uses drugs, I wouldn't worry about him even trying to go to court. I don't know if he has tryed the classic " I'm the father, I have rights and blah blah blah.." But screw him for real. Bad deal. Stuff happens. Once you see that child, that's it. As a mother we love our children no matter what! Cuz yeah, they will be teens at some point and get rebellious maybe. But that image of that tiny innocent baby.. Awe :) Drugs are scary and horrible. :/ keep away. Good luck!!! You are one of so many!!!

Leave him be. If he truely wants to see the child. He can go hire a lawyer and go through that process. If he is unintelligent and uses drugs, I wouldn't worry about him even trying to go to court. I don't know if he has tryed the classic " I'm the father, I have rights and blah blah blah.." But screw him for real. Bad deal. Stuff happens. Once you see that child, that's it. As a mother we love our children no matter what! Cuz yeah, they will be teens at some point and get rebellious maybe. But that image of that tiny innocent baby.. Awe :) Drugs are scary and horrible. :/ keep away. Good luck!!! You are one of so many!!!

Agree with pp avoid all contact. If he tries to pursue this in court, request a hair sample be analyzed for drug use. If he threatens you in any written form, save it as evidence. Do not reply to him, do not answer calls, nothing. As for your child's appearance, my 7 year old girl has a lot of her bio dad's attributes. He hasn't been in the picture since she was a baby. I've never felt resentment towards her at all. That is the great thing about children, the love you have for your own is unconditional.

Agree with pp avoid all contact. If he tries to pursue this in court, request a hair sample be analyzed for drug use. If he threatens you in any written form, save it as evidence. Do not reply to him, do not answer calls, nothing. As for your child's appearance, my 7 year old girl has a lot of her bio dad's attributes. He hasn't been in the picture since she was a baby. I've never felt resentment towards her at all. That is the great thing about children, the love you have for your own is unconditional.

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