2015 – GTFO

2015. Just. Just…. get out. Go. I don’t want to see your face around here no more. You started off so well. You held such great promise.

2015 you ass.

Winter

Highs

Katsucon. Katsu-fucking-con. It was wonderful, I didn’t sleep the night before travelling but I got my costume done (with much help from roommates) on time and got to hang out with some lovely ladies ShushuWafflez, Angelica Cosplay and Nomadic Goldfish who I rarely get to see because Canada’s big, yo. Plus…

Sailor Moon Mega-group. This group made me super happy, everything was awesome with them and I love them ALL.

Spring

Highs

I MC’d a Masquerade for the very first time, and aside from some jitters, it went really well and I got asked to come back for another later that year.I honestly don’t remember what we were talking about at this point.

Anime North! I judged! I judged again! I am not going to judge two evenings next year because I was exhausted after and didn’t have much time to enjoy the con.

Lows

Spring began what was about to become a pretty terrible downward spiral healthwise. In the picture above you can already see that I’m puffy, despite eating well. Or, well enough.

Summer!

Highs

Colossal con! Even with mitigating factors, I had a pretty good time. Kurumasha and I rocked our Adelita twins despite food poisoning and asthma attacks. Go team broken! Also staying in the villa with friends and lounging was a break I didn’t know I needed, but thank god.

Montreal Comic con – Hosting Masquerade take 2! Man, after having gotten the worst of my jitters out at Ottawa, Montreal’s Masquerade was awesome. The crowd was happy to be there, energetic, and the costumes were wonderful.

Otakuth– wait. No. This goes below.

Lows

Colossal Con – The Kalahari restaurant gluten-poisoned me at our first meal there. So, good news is that they felt terrible about it. Bad is that I was puffy as fuck for the rest of the weekend, sleepy, and hurt after anything I ate for two weeks. ‘I double checked that it’s the gluten free bun’ my ass.

Otakuthon – Man, I want to love Otakuthon, but it turned into this terrible perfect storm of stress, burnout and health issues. My good friend MeltingMirror and I ended up working through a lot at the end of the weekend and it strengthened our relationship, and made me realise that it’s okay to tell people when things are really bothering you. Because otherwise it bottles up and they can’t come from a place of understanding, resulting in… not fun times.

What’s that mean? I came clean about how exhausting and painful my life had become. I didn’t realise how bad it was until that weekend, wearing a heavy costume on Friday and then the stress only making it worse.

I’d made a doctor appointment right before the con, and basically we confirmed that I have fibromyalgia. It was so bad that if I scratched an itch, my nerves acted like I’d been punched, and I’d hurt for fifteen minutes after.

As terrible as that weekend was, it marked a turning point. It made me realise that I had to set aside cosplay and writing for the time being and focus on my health. Unfortunately this included my boyfriend at the time.

Sometimes self care is more important than a relationship, and that’s okay.

Fall

Highs

I started to feel better! New medication! Weightloss! Awesome new roommate MessyMia!

Lows

I literally slept through most of the fall. As in, I didn’t do anything but work, sleep, work, sleep, sleep sleep, work, sleep.

No sewing, no cons, no friends aside from the odd dinner out.

NYCC had been the one plan, and that fell through when work decided I couldn’t get the time off at the last minute. Despite the plane ticket being booked. My boss, meanwhile, went to a vacation those same days off.

Needless to say, work has been less than motivating since. Especially with issues regarding my health. Luckily I live in Canada where they cannot try to fire me due to a health condition. Also, doctors are free.

Winter (part Deux)

Highs

I finally started feeling a bit more like myself. I still haven’t been sewing much, but I’m getting ready for the next year, managing a plan to let me cosplay without burn out, and tidying up the place.

2016 is a new year, with new opportunities and the fact I wake up and don’t hurt right away is wonderful. I can’t even describe it.

I also finally sat down and realised that I want to write a book about cosplay, so I’ll be updating periodically on that as progress continues.

So here’s to a new year, fresh start, and opportunity to make change in your life.

Don’t acceptpain and depression as ‘just how it is’. Life doesn’t have to hurt, and you don’t have to deal with it on your own. Friends and laughter can make pain seem less intense, and improve your mood tremendously.

Take care of yourself. I have to say that making the change this summer was worth it. Accepting that I need to be more mindful of my energy and health was hard, especially admitting that I was struggling this summer, but. It was worth it.