Enemabag Jones:cynicalbastard,Well, they weren't, at first. Neither were they "with the Union". Then technically the Confederacy invaded, thus causing the Union to counter-invade. And the Pro-Confederacy Kentuckians said "That's it, we're seceding" and the pro-Union Kentuckians said "Nu-uh! You're General came in first" and the Confeds were all like "Well, Ol' Polk never could read road maps, and anyhow his favourite niece just lives over the border and he prob'ly just wanted a look-see and it wasn't like a real invasion like your guy Grant did" to which the Union guys said "Says you, we're going Union", and the farmers raising livestock and growing food wiped their eyes of tears saying "My, this war between brothers is a terrible thing, now, who's paying best prices for Cavalry horses?"

Do you do historical standup? Because you should.

x2

Is historical standup a thing? I'd totally get behind that. I was just thinking to myself the other day that Cracked has been slacking on the funny history stuff lately (read: in the last 3 years), so this scratched my itch.

BenJammin:iheartscotch: On one hand; some people consider flying The Confederate Battel Flag patriotic.

On the other hand; it represented a contengent of states that rebelled against the federal government.

/ meh; it's just a flag

If only it wasn't for that slavery thing.

CSB:I was at the IL state fair and a early 20s dude pushing a babystroller had a stars and bars t shirt that said "If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson." So I stopped and said "Great! I'd love to hear a history lesson about how treason against the United States of American turns out. Please. Proceed."

/Still waiting for my history lesson justifying the glorification of treason.

iheartscotch:Haven't you been paying attention? The first amendment only applies to speech that you, personally, like. The Confederate Battle Flag is tots hate speech.

I don't personally care if someone flies The Confederate Battle Flag; but, I understand that it upsets some people. Some people see it as the ultimate symbol of racism and slavery. Other people see it as a symbol of the willingness to stand up for what you believe in.

Well, first of all, the flag that the vast overwhelming majority of "Southern Pride" morans so proudly display isn't the Confederate Battle Flag. A little history lesson, courtesy ofelchip:

If you looked at this picture and the first phrase that came to mind was something along the lines of "The Confederate Flag," you would be wrong. This was never the Flag of the Confederate States of America. Furthermore, this flag is not nicknamed Stars and Bars. It was neither the Battle Flag of the Confederacy, nor was it the Confederate Navy Jack (although it's close to both).

The Confederacy actually went through three official flags during its short life. The first such flag looked like this:

When the Confederate Congress got around to the business of creating a flag for themselves, public opinion was in the favor of modeling it after the American flag. This flag was what came out of their efforts.

The first version of the flag had seven stars, representing the seven states that had seceded by the time of the flag's creation: South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana and Texas. The remaining stars were added with the secession of Virginia, Arkansas, Tennessee and North Carolina, and the pseudo-secession of Missouri and Kentucky. (I say "pseudo-secession" because they each had two governments, one claiming to represent their state in the Confederacy and one claiming to represent it in the Union.)

This, by the way, is the flag that is properly referred to as Stars and Bars.

Now, during the First Battle of Bull Run (that's the First Battle of Manassas for you southerners), the Stars and Bars caused a bit of confusion thanks to its resemblance to the Stars and Stripes.

One of the Confederate commanders at the battle, Brigadier General Pierre Gustave Toutant Beauregard expressed his frustration to his personal aide, a man by the name of William Porcher Miles.

When not hanging around with Beauregard, Miles was a member of the Confederate Congress. In fact, he had been on the committee that approved the Stars and Bars flag. He wasn't a fan of the Stars and Bars for the same reason that most people at the time were for it: It was similar to the American flag.

He told Beauregard that when they were debating the matter of the flag, he had designed an alternative flag of his own, which was rejected:

Beauregard liked it so much, that he petitioned the Congress to make it the official flag of the Confederacy.

Congress said no.

Beauregard sought a compromise: He suggested that the Confederacy fly the Stars and Bars as its official flag, but adopt Miles' flag as their Battle Flag -- something that could be flown on the battlefield without generating confusion.

Congress didn't say anything.

Well, they didn't say anything because he didn't ask them: They were adjourned at the time. He took up the issue with the War Department, and they approved of his idea.

Later, the Confederate Navy decided to use a modified version of the flag as their Jack -- that's the flag flown on the front of a ship, usually for ceremonial reasons.

The popularity of the Battle Flag convinced the government of the Confederacy to eventually incorporate it when they redesigned the official flag, nicknamed the Stainless Banner:

Over time, a clamor grew about the fact that the flag might be confused for a white flag of surrender when the wind was just right. So, it was slightly modified into what is called the Blood-Stained Banner:

The concern about surrender is rather ironic, because the Confederacy surrendered about a month after adopting the Blood-Stained Banner.

The flag that most people think of as the Confederate Flag was never flown by the Confederacy at all -- it was invented by southerners in the 20th century and, depending on who you ask, symbolizes anything ranging from white power to southern pride.

But whatever you think of the flag, one thing is certain: It was never flown by the Confederate States of America. It uses the colors of the Battle Flag and the shape of the Navy Jack, but it's not exactly either one.

I have neighbors down the road who have a flagpole in the bed of their pickup and fly the Stars and Bars. I ordered a "5th Calvary of Michigan" flag since I have an ancestor who served in that unit during the Civil War. My wife was afraid that would lead to a confrontation, but it appears I just wasted my money since none of the morons are capable of recognizing anything from the Civil War aside from the the stars and bars.

/I eventually tossed up the ARVN flag/service banner since my wife is Vietnamese//the father came by to complain about my "Viet Cong" flag and how he doesn't appreciate it since he foguht in Vietnam/he did not my like my point that we likely lost because morons like him couldn't tell the difference between this and this

Wild Eyed and Wicked:Egoy3k: Isn't it a little early to have a largest potato contest? Last time I checked you don't harvest potatoes in March. I'm sure you folks in warmer climates harvest them earlier than we do up here in the great white north but still March seems pretty damn early.

It began as a meeting where everyone brought their potato seedlings (sets, sprouts???) to town for others to come and purchase - everyone came from miles around to buy them to start their crops. Somehow it then became the town homecoming party complete with a parade and carnival...all wrapped up in the Confederate flag.

Dammit, I was looking forward to this being a standard Thursday, but thanks to you and Ctrl-Alt-Del, now I've gone and learned something. Bastards.

We'll never surrender until the last German potato salad is chauffée in Hell* and Hell is out of hot dogs**!

* Simpsons did it!

** The presence of hot dogs in Hell suggests that All Dogs Do NOT go to Heaven. This makes a lot of sense to me. Some dogs are just bad, bad dogs. Maybe Hitler's dog was a good dog, but I've met some that were just sneaky and vicious.

Well, I had to go to Benton to pick up horse feed this afternoon so I was in the bowels of the Tater Day start up festivities...it looks like that the rebel flag bannanation has failed miserably since I saw at least 10 trucks with flags flying and three vendors on the little bit of Tater Day I had to travel through. I almost wish I was not leaving town this weekend so I could see if they are actually going to try and stop the stupidity.

Wild Eyed and Wicked:Well, I had to go to Benton to pick up horse feed this afternoon so I was in the bowels of the Tater Day start up festivities...it looks like that the rebel flag bannanation has failed miserably since I saw at least 10 trucks with flags flying and three vendors on the little bit of Tater Day I had to travel through. I almost wish I was not leaving town this weekend so I could see if they are actually going to try and stop the stupidity.

I'll have a funnel cake for you. The ban is only for the actual parade so I suspect business as usual the entire weekend.

ImperialHazman:Wild Eyed and Wicked: Well, I had to go to Benton to pick up horse feed this afternoon so I was in the bowels of the Tater Day start up festivities...it looks like that the rebel flag bannanation has failed miserably since I saw at least 10 trucks with flags flying and three vendors on the little bit of Tater Day I had to travel through. I almost wish I was not leaving town this weekend so I could see if they are actually going to try and stop the stupidity.

I'll have a funnel cake for you. The ban is only for the actual parade so I suspect business as usual the entire weekend.

I started to stop and grab a funnel cake but I only had change in my purse...they smelled so damned good...