Being someone who would never talk or text to another opposite sex person on the phone while being with the love of my life was like giving my 100% to him always. But when your partner talks to the opposite gender over the phone for long hours while you being around – that definitely creates jealousy, doubts and even hatred against the other person and your partner. A small seed of DOUBT ruins your relationships foundation – i.e TRUST.

It could only as a matter of fact be just a friend but if your partner has never introduced this friend of opposite sex and then literally talking for such long hours in front you would definitely damage the relationship.

It comes to a point where you are frustrated and you may even walk away stating that time being spent with the other person on phone rather than when you are physically being available in front of your partner is not valuable.

This in the initial days leads to trust issues in the relationship, does he like her more , is he flirting with her , why does he talk to her for so many hours , etc etc .. so on and so forth. It even comes down to you pinpointing things and arguing about it in the relationship. Doesn’t this really occur to your partner that they should spend time with you instead of virtually being on phone with someone else or checking text messages and laughing or giggling away while you are around. This definitely brings up lot of questions in your partners head who is idle while the other partner is on the phone. As you all know an idle mind is a devils workshop so you have lot of insecurities over the relationship now that arise as your partner is not able to tell you clearly why that one phone call or the texting was important over you ?

If your partner was clear in communicating to you that this is the friend and this is the reason I would need to be on a call or even text messaging that would make this clearer for you and set your expectations right instead of you going over hell of things in your head. My suggestions are as below

· Communication is the key -Set your partners expectations right – before you need to take that call or respond to a text message when you are with your partner

· Never lie to your partner who it is you were talking to even when it is the opposite sex as they need to understand the matter why you had to do it when they were around and you need to explain it to them what it meant for you

· Never hide from your partner that when your partner may ask you to talk to this common friend who is of opp sex to you and you refuse to . But couple of minutes later you are on the call with this friend in front of your partner after you have refused it.

· Never make your partner feel ignored while you are taking that important call or texting back you can always make expressions and even holding your partners hands while you are doing that

· Never make this a habit always to talk / text and ignore your partner while they are around . The worst you can do is make your partner feel ignored and unworthy of your time and theirs too waiting to talk to you

It’s better to set the rules so each one puts their wants on the table and you build that trust in the relationship initially. Later down the lane when there is enough trust you can respect each other’s decisions but definitely during the initial days of your relationship never ignore your partner for communicating another person .

Lessons learnt from past relationships never let the seed of DOUBT grow for long in your partner’s eyes this could just ruin everything you had in the relationship. Never ignore your partner’s texts/calls as this completely means that you don’t care.

In a long distance relationship – You need to be truthful to your partner regarding the reasons for ignoring your partner’s texts or calls and why there is always a delayed response. You need to create the space for your partner to thrive and be more open and frank and not be fearful for them to let the truth out. Only having a transparent relationship can save each partners fears of doubts arising and keeping the relationship healthy.

If in case you have broken up with your boyfriend you definitely would be in a situation where they or you have

· Blocked them on whatsapp – thanks to features such as last seen time and not setting the last seen time – these too create lots of doubts

· Blocked them on facebook

· Blocked them texting or even ringing you up – thanks to iPhone features

I always thought technology would help the current generation be more in contact with one another from different parts of the world but suddenly somehow from my learnings and life experiences I feel that the traditional way – i.e. it is better to meet in person if that’s not possible a phone call is better than long text messages where it’s so complicated you have to wait and check has your partner received them have they read them and then later have they ignored them. Your heart is such a wonderful thing that it only takes a small gesture to hurt it and it’s so vulnerable during the initial days of the relationship. You need to be so strong and never think of anything negative. If you have already been through breakups then this is difficult and if you have never been through breakups then the dam texting and ignoring can ruin everything for you.

So let go and go and meet the person you love and never ignore them when they are around. Do pick up that phone and ring one another when you can’t meet them !! When you love you never hurt them ever .

Business Analyst by Profession but learning to take on living life to the fullest :)

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