Last week, we said that Cooley didn’t seem to have done a lot for Australia’s bowlers. We partly retract that. Overall, they’ve had a pretty woeful series, but to teach Mitchell Johnson how to swing a cricket ball and restore his confidence after just a week in the nets? The man must be some sort of warlock.

It was only last year when he was the leading wicket taker in the world and he wasn’t that pants in India (well, he was a bit but he did take a 5-for) so never out of the question he’d turn it around. He’ll prob have to do it again based on the Waca 4th innings stats. Last 10 years, 7 innings, 6 scores over 280. Hot analysis and rank puns here…http://pavilionopinions.blogspot.com/2010/12/england-made-to-look-like-duminys.html

You’re dead right, Pavan, it was never out of the question that Johnson could turn things around and become a devastaing attack bowler. And obviously it isn’t out of the question that he could turn it round again and become shit. That’s the thing about momentum – it’s only ever there in retrospect.

Sam, you can slam the door in the face of Despair – he’s only welcome in the sports departments of Australian and English newspapers. ONE BAD DAY! England lost 10/100 yesterday. If Australia lose 7/100 tonight, England will win this test (Australia has no spinner, remember). And if not, we go on with the series score level and England still a better all-round side than Australia. Happy days.

Smug bastards, talking about shutting the door on despair. Two good games and you forget your only friend of the last 20 years.

Ask us poor Indian fans – it starts off exactly the same in South Africa EVERY SINGLE TIME. Every four years you think it will be different this time, and come home from work to find the score at 100-8. Despair doesn’t politely knock on our doors – it is already sleeping in our beds when we get home.

I predicted a great test for Mitch this time around. That was based on unsound judgment. I got called “Mitchell Johnson’s overbearing mother” by one of the people here. To him and everyone else, I have this to say: “I told you so”.