Pimp Suing Nike Says Shoes Should Include ‘Deadly Weapon’ Warning

A pimp is suing Nike for $100 million. The man’s complaint? The popular shoe company failed to print a warning with its Jordan shoes that explained that they could be used as deadly weapons. How exactly did the pimp find this out? The man was recently found guilty of brutally beating a man to death with his sneakers — a crime that earned him 100 years of prison time.

The 26-year-old Portland, Oregon pimp suing Nike says he was mislead about the potential lethality of using their shoes to beat a person. Strangely enough, the pimp, Sirgiorgio Clardy, might not be making an entirely absurd claim.

This past summer the Portland pimp attacked a client after he refused to pay. Clardy’s response included beating the man and stomping on his face with his Jordan Nike sneakers. The pimp suing Nike also took his rage out against one of his 18-year-old prostitutes. According to police, the assault left the woman bleeding from her ears.

Though both the woman and the man survived, the man needed a number of stitches and plastic reconstructive surgery. After getting arrested and facing trial for the attacks, an Oregon jury found Clardy guilty. In doing so, they labeled him a “dangerous offender.” As a psychologist said during his testimony, Clardy is both a volatile psychopath and is “100 percent likely” to commit another violent crime.

Though the jury found the pimp guilty of violent crimes, it was their agreement to classify Clardy’s Jordan Nike shoes as a “dangerous weapon” that landed him the longest possible prison sentence. Though the definition of a “dangerous weapon” is somewhat fluid as a legal term, as this case shows, it is typically reserved for weapons like firearms and knives. Blunt objects sometimes get this special distinction, but sneakers rarely qualify.

As such, the pimp suing Nike believes he’s been slighted. Though the premise of his lawsuit is undeniably absurd — if only he’d known his Jordans were “deadly weapons” he might have used something else in his attack — more than anything it shows the questionable justice in redefining legal terms. Can Nike Jordan shoes really be considered on the same level as a firearm? Clardy, the pimp suing Nike, filed his complaint recently in the form of a hand-written three-page document. In it he claims that the shoe company’s failure to include an “adequate warning” with their Jordan shoes has resulted in “personal injury in the like of mental suffering.”

The shoe manufacturer has officially responded to the complaint with a standard “no comment.” The Portland pimp suing Nike hopes to take his grievances to court and walk away with $100 million — back to his prison cell.