The Fall Of Minor Celebrities

Joss Stone is still famous in a way I guess. Well apparently a couple of “blokes” (ahahaOHAHAHA) plotted to kidnap and murder her over whatever cash she had. The local Bob your Mantles or whatever they call cops in England, stopped this plot before it could get going. The real question is: Why Joss Stone? If you’re going to kidnap and murder a fellow Englishman over their goods, why not go all the way and try to get at Elton John? Wait, forget I said that, leave Elton John alone. I love Elton John. Here’s a picture of Joss laying on some guy with a beard.

You like Anal Cunt, don’t you? The band that is. Although an extra vagina in the anus is worth exploring. Anyways, the groups founding front man Seth Putnam recently passed at the age of 43 from a suspected heart attack. He was in a coma for awhile in 04 after ingesting 2 months worth of the sleep aid Ambien and in general, was a fucking mess. Now let’s give it 2 months for lame ass grind core bands write songs with titles like “Seth Putnam is a Dead Fucking Dick” and “Vomiting Up The Rotted Corpse of Seth Putnam.” To be fair, he’d want it that way. Never got into the Cunt, but their album “Everyone Should Be Killed” always made me laugh when I saw it in record stores. You know, those record stores that carry Anal Cunt records.

Oh My God, Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame was horribly killed in a car wreck early Monday morning. That’s a shame. Also a shame he posted a picture to his twitter account of him drinking with some friends hours before his death. Local police are blaming excessive speed leading to the fiery crash. They identified him by some of his tattoos and “what was left of his facial hair.” Oh man, shouldn’t have posted this, I’ve made myself sad. God speed, Ryan. You’re shoving things up your ass in heaven now. Or Hell. Probably Hell.

Personal update: AJ from WWE’s Smackdown program is fucking adorable.

You wanna kiss me, AJ? Do you? You’re reading this, I know it.

Amy Winehouse opened her show in Belgrade with “Hello Athens!” and proceeded to be a giant sack of shit during her show. I don’t care if I’m supposed to be appalled by a person wasting their considerable talent, I LIKE drug addicts and I like the things they do.

Not sure how I would react if I saw this coming at me in the moon’s light however.