Is Cheating Forgivable?

This past Sunday, those of us who faithfully watch HBO’s series, Insecure, learned that Issa played us, y’all! Months leading up to the series, we were told that one of our favorite characters, Lawrence, would not be returning this season. Lawrence was Issa’s long-time boyfriend in the first season, and she spent most of season two trying to get him back after cheating on him. Season two ended with Issa and Lawrence finally having a deep conversation after what happened, and it seemed as if both parties felt a sense of closure. Most of us fans believed that these two possibly had a chance of reconciliation in season three until we were bombarded with the hot, piping tea of Lawrence being excluded from the series this year. We’ve watched the first four episodes, and he was nowhere in sight….until this past weekend. After Issa enjoyed a molly poppin’, Ferris wheel boppin’ weekend at Coachella, who does she bump into at the local 7/11 other than Lawrence. After my initial shock and excitement, I thought about if Lawrence should take Issa back. Should anyone take someone back after cheating has occurred?

I’ve been cheated on before, I know many friends who have been cheated on before, and I know those who have actually done the cheating themselves. It’s important to know that there are levels to the act of cheating. All levels of which I just can not and will not ever deal with again. I don’t judge those who decide to stay after they’ve been cheated on, because I’ve done it myself and know first-hand how difficult it is to leave. It’s all about knowing yourself and knowing what you can and are willing to tolerate. Because I’ve experienced this before, I know for a fact that staying wouldn’t be a possibility for me ever again. I tried that once before, and although he was the one that cheated, I was the one who turned into the nightmare. As if it wasn’t bad enough for me that he cheated in the first place, we were long distance so it just made it even harder for me to ever trust him again. I didn’t trust him at school, work, with friends, at the gym, and because his parents allowed the girl that he was cheating on me with over their house, I didn’t trust them either. I was Yvette in Baby Boy levels of paranoid, and rightfully so, but who wants to be that? Once I realized what I will and will not tolerate, it made things a lot easier. Trust me, I’d be doing you a favor to leave after you cheat because neither you nor me would be happy.

Now as I said before, there are levels to the act of cheating. You have your cheaters like Issa in Insecure. Her relationship was going downhill, but she still loved him and had been with him for so long that she didn’t know how to leave. In the midst of their relationship drama, one of her old “friends” came back into her life. One thing led to another at one studio session in the hood of LA, and she ended up cheating on Lawrence. She immediately broke things off with the other person and tried to make things work with Lawrence, but he wasn’t having it. I think this kind of cheater can be forgiven, and the right forgiving individual can make a relationship like this work. I guess you can call them the Remorseful Cheater. Then you have the Unapologetically-Apologetic Cheater. This type of cheater is only sorry about one thing; the fact that they got caught. They believe that what you don’t know won’t hurt you until you actually know, and then it does. In order to deal with someone like this, you have to be a certain type of person. I think the ones who perfect being with someone like this best are the celebrity/wealthy housewives and girlfriends. They know that their man is cheating on them, but as long as they aren’t flashing it in their face and are at least being discrete about it, then they will continue to smile as if blind to the facts. Tamar Braxton said it best, “If you not going to leave your man and you know he’s cheating, then you might as well let him cheat in peace.” Now, I will never sit there and let anyone cheat on me in peace, but if you aren’t planning on leaving then what are you doing? Yelling and fighting every time you find something won’t make a difference if you’re not planning on going anywhere. So you’re either going to leave or not. Last but not least, you have the Sloppy Cheater. This person does not give AF. He or she will cheat when they want, with who they want, and just might admit to it when you confront them about it. The Sloppy Cheater will cheat on you with your friends or family, who would be just as triflin’ to participate. This type of cheater shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone, but they do it anyway! Under no circumstances do I think you should take a person like this back, but who am I to judge?

As I said before, I wouldn’t be the person to take someone back after violating my trust. I’m still working on having more forgiveness in my heart, but I know that there are good people out there that make bad mistakes and can be forgiven. I think Issa was one of them, so I do think Lawrence should take her back. Anything can be forgivable as long as those two people agree to move past it together. If you decided to stay, and you haven’t forgiven that person and/or can’t fully trust them again, RUN SIS! Like me, it’s just not for you. Have you ever taken an ex back after cheating was involved? If so, how did you move past it? Do you think it was a good or bad idea? INSECURE FANS – Do you think Lawrence and Issa should get back together?

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Asia Vallier

Born in Lafayette, Louisiana. Raised in Houston, Texas. Poetry, music, theater, and movies have always intrigued me, and all things artistic live at the core of who I am. I've always kept a composition notebook at my side at all times whether that be for journaling, writing music or writing my ideas. At some point, I realized that what I was searching for to express myself had been there all along in my writing. I hope to inspire and invoke thought into each and every one of my readers. Blessings!
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2 thoughts on “Is Cheating Forgivable?”

Girllll, I was shooked when she ran into Lawrence! She definitely TRICKED us cause nobody was expecting to see him!

But cheating ! I must say that cheating is definitely a deal breaker for me! I’ve never been cheated on , and I know why.. I ain’t built for that ish I’ll be in jail lol! I agree with you, if two people can work it out and put it to past then it can work, BUT if the trust is not there, it will NEVER work when it’s all said and done.