Faceless Minion #1: “So, how are we going to push this Manitoba’s Wild Kingdom album? We need an animal-related theme.”

Faceless Minion #2: “Hey, how about if we have them play promo gigs at each major city’s zoo?”

FM #1: “Great idea, but it takes forever to get the smell of monkey poo out of their equipment.”

FM #2: “OK, how about if we do some licensing thing with an endorsement from Tony the Tiger, or maybe Toucan Sam?”

FM #1: “They’re both in rehab. Besides, we blew 99% of the budget on the video, we can’t afford big names. What can we do that costs practically nothing?”

Here’s what they came up with…

They sent an intern to Big Lots to buy a crate of crackers, printed up a strip of stickers, slapped everything together, and sent these out to DJs as promos. Animal Crackers must be big in Florida, because that’s the only place the album ever got any airplay.

23 years later, the crackers are still in my box. Even the mice turned their noses up at them.