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It happened right after lunch….1:05 to be precise. Got to hear the schpeel : “This decision makes me sick…haven’t slept in days…the work just isn’t here….it may change….Obama admisistration…paid through end of month….unemployment…I’m so sorry.” (handshake from partner, hug from human resource manager, tears from co-workers) It almost felt sincere until the second I walked outside and saw said partners Bentley parked smack in front of the entrance. Nice move, douchelord.

I left work, drove across the street to a Pub where three of the other girls at my office that had just gotten the axe were. We got a table on the patio out in the sunshine, got some drinks and that was where my ass was parked until the end of the work day or until whenever it was that my husband showed up and picked me up to take me to my birthday dinner with my parents and kids. My Dad, just fresh out of the hospital for about two hours – God Bless himm, insisted that he would go get my Jeep and drive it back to the house. This will be the only moment in the course of my life that my parents actually had the chance to reprimand me for drinking as much as I did, but they didnt. Note it. We came back to the house, had cake, parents left. Wine. Applied for Unemployment. Wine. Deadliest Catch. Wine. Bedtime.

Slept in this morning, which was pretty freakin awesome. Kids are stoked that I’m home. I mean, STOKED. Jedi keeps telling me all the reasons why this is a good thing, “It’s summer, we’ll have more time together, we can go to the library, we can go swimming, yada, yada, yada.” (He actually did say yada, yada, yada) Diva must have asked me a 100x why I wasn’t going to work today and doesn’t quite understand the concept of being laid off, but she does think the idea of unemployment compensation is “really smart.” I concur.

I think I may have just squeaked out 20 weeks of work there. I shall soon see.

Met with the social worker today regarding Pickle. That’s another topic for a different day. Not today. I’ll need more wine.

Then my friend, Mel, from work who was also laid-off called and asked if the kids and I wanted to meet her and go swimming with her and some friends/family. Mel decided it was a malt beverage day. That’s what my afternoon consisted of…lounging in the pool with a malt beverage. Not bad for a paid day’s work (snort). Mel told me about how after I left the Pub that she had to go play volleyball (beer league) with a team that consists of all employees from the firm and how shocked they all were about what happened. There were 8 of us yesterday and 4 more today. Then she told me she cried the whole way home and she just felt….defeated.

I don’t know. I can admit it wasn’t the best thing that’s ever happened to me but it wasn’t the worst either.

Look, I’d take losing my job over losing a loved one any damn day of the week. That’s a fact. Are things going to be tough financially….ABSOLUTELY. Do I have any idea what’s gonna happen…..ABSOLUTELY NOT. But what I do know is that everytime I’ve lost a job, something else has come along that has had a purpose in my life. I really believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is just God’s way of pushing me in a different direction that I would’nt have taken without this happening. I HAVE NO IDEA. But, I did make some phone calls today and open my LSAC (Law School Admission Council) account and despite not really having the money to do it my husband insists that I am to register/pay for my LSAT this Friday when he gets paid and “Take the damn test”. My heart isn’t set on this law school thing. Maybe I am cautiously dreaming, but I’ve decided I’m gonna take the test and put out the applications. If I get accepted, I’m going and if I don’t, I won’t …but I’m not ever gonna know unless I try.

I’m rather tired of having the rug pulled out from under me, but looking back….some of the best things that have happened to me came out of something else falling apart. What’s that saying….Sometimes good things fall apart so BETTER things can come together?

I’m actually o.k. I’m not gonna let it get me down and I’m not gonna cry… today. I’m just gonna roll with it. See where this new road takes me.

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Just when I thought I was getting used to life as I now know it….my little snow globe world has been picked up, shook and I’m waiting for all the snow to settle again I suppose.

~My Dad is in the hospital – AGAIN. Last summer he had this ultra rare stomach condition where air expands in the lining of the stomach. I guess something like 50 people have had this happen in the history of medical science, 9, including my Dad have survived. This means that doctors don’t really know what happens after the fact. As it turns out, when he stomach poofed up, it caused some tearing on the arteries that feed blood to the stomach. This has caused scar tissue which is slowing and at times prohibiting blood flow to the stomach. This is not good. Lack of blood flow=tissue dies=stomach dies=stomach removed=NOT GOOD. The only options there are right now is to continue to go and stint and/or stretch these arteries. However, you can’t do that too often because it could tear an artery. So, last option is bypass….same as heart bypass, but I guess when you do it on someone’s stomach arteries it’s EXTREMELY risky. I hate, HATE, all of this. It’s not fair. My father is the best Dad a girl could ask for. Most people would tell you he is one of the best people they’ve ever met. I honestly can’t keep count of the number of people who have told me that through the years. He’s just a great guy. It is beyond discouraging when I see him dealing with all of this and other piece of shit fathers/people seem just coasting through life. UGH!

~ Paperwork with THE EX is final. He signed paperwork stating he would not contact us and forfeits his parental rights in exchange for not having to pay child support. Selfishness is an ugly thing.

~ Things at work suck. My boss lacks any passion for….well, anything. It’s a cake job with good pay and benefits, but I don’t think it’s worth it. Found out Friday that he’s an even bigger douche than I could have possibly imagined AND he’s sexting another girl in the office who is TERRIFIED to do anything about it. Creeper. Trying to decide whether to circulate the resume and get the hell outta there or tough it out until I make a decision about law school.

~ Ive gotta make some decisions about law school. If I go, I need to just do it. i’m not getting any younger and neither are my kids and they’re going to college. Period. I graduated with my Bachelors last summer and decided to take some time to figure things out but if I wait too much longer, I won’t go. In order to go next Fall (2011), I have to take the LSAT by this December at latest so I can put in my apps this Spring. Big decision. Aside from the financial investment, its a lot of sacrifice for the entire family and I’m just not sure how much sacrifice is too much. The kids have been through a lot.

~ Its hard to make decisions when there are so many what-ifs involving the kids, mostly Pickle. I’m not talking about regular what-ifs here. i’m talking about not knowing if he’s ever going to be able to come home because of the younger two kids. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much that pains my heart. When I start venturing down this thought track, it’s all down hill.

I really need to get to bed. The lack of sleep surely isn’t helping me get things turned around.

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Two things: 1. Comic Sans font is hard to take seriously and; 2. He,’ll be back.

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE”

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….