1. the first thing is your thinking pattern. (believing is the key)
2. the 2nd is your diet. (the ingedients supplement the belief)

If you neglect these 2 things you will have problems.

more on 1. Write down some goals in life. Move forward on those goals from the time you get up everymorning to the time you go to sleep and be happy with what ever progress you make. Make it an objective to go to bed happy (find things about life you are happy about and think about them or just be happy about some progess you made on a daily goal you made even learing something new if it's not a physical feat) do the same thing when you wake up - ie be happy about life. It's a good idea to write things down that you like about yourself (dont' do this for the bad things - you can work on a goal to improve what you want to achieve and that way it won't bring you down). Write out a little q card -- on it reminding yourself to be happy and put it in your pocket. Include your goals and take a look at this q card (with goals and things your happy about) to keep you focused on achieving something - this will really drive you in the long run. You see you put yourself in this mood from the time you get up everyday and it becomes a cycle for you. You need to break out of this cycle somehow and not rely on a false state of happiness that the drug brings you - but if that's what you want fry your brain I don't care at this point if you will not listen to me - so reread what I tell you and do it proactively - get that pen out and start writting!! Now! and be happy .

More on 2... You should have blood test to evaluate what deficiencies or excesses
of vitamins / minerals (an excess of something can cause you just as much problems as a deficiency and can deplete some basic requirement) . Don't go to someone without researching them - make sure they are supportive to alternatives and not just some mainstream dildo that want's you to be dependent on a drug for life.

Some of the advice is good that was given to you in earlier post but it is vary scattered so to say. If you want anything to work in life - what ever it is, you have to find the right formula, so for you your different see (everyone has different needs) you have to find that "formula" just for you ie the right amount of nutrition applicable to you (not other people), the right amount of inspiration applicable to you and your life / situation. You have to learn how to self-mold yourself to be healthier and be more positive basically because negativity will not get you far.

I hope this helps you and others! I could help more but seeing as I'm not paid for this you should be quite thankful for this advice I've giving you that I have thoroughly researched. For the tribe!

I am in exactly the same position as you although I am almost 19 and don't take medication. I have a crippling fear of change or social situations (among other problems similar to yours) and about a year ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety/phobia. I am also on the autism spectrum as I show some traits of autism. I am too scared to 'end it all' because I am scared of what happens after death and hurting others. I also have that hope in life that at some point in the future evrything will magically get better which is what I wish for everyday. I've never told anyone besides my family about this and I feel that my friends would think I'm nuts if I told them.

1.Seek professional help ASAP
2.Most of what you say and feel is not really all that uncommon
3.Your "condition" is treatable,but self help should be secondary to a medical doctor.
4.Only you can take control of your own future,with the help of a knowledgeable expert.
5.Your not nuts,your confused,and possible ill;don't waste time allowing this event to control or manipulate your life any further.
6.Try focusing on helping others,rather than always focusing on yourself so much;even if it's just one person,one day a week for one hour.
7.Too much introspective investigation without professional advise is usually unhealthy
8.If you can,try sharing some of you concerns with a close personal friend,but do not allow this advise or relationship to replace seeking professional help.
9.When, and possibly before, you do anything you believe could be viewed later as "nuts"; call your friend or your doctor first.
10.Relax,we're all feeling strange,and your certainly not alone in this problem.

as stated better then I could an if you need some out side of you personal real life friends to just chat to pm me I have no problems giveing advice or my opinoin to some one. Im just not gonna restate what some one eles did so its why I just quoted this cause it seems to me the best advice. Well best of luck man an if you ever need to pm me I will listen.

Well,re an update on my situation.I am feeling much better.Lately I have been cutting out junk from my diet and trying to do more exercise.I have basically cut out sugar and trying to eat a more basic diet.

VikingDutch,I appreciate you were only trying to help me,but saying that I have not tried enough to kick the drug/slave or not finding other ways is a bit uncalled for.I have tried to come off of this several times,but even with eating healthily it was still hellish.Mental health problems run in my family and it isn't as if it is like someone who is on them because of a relationship breakdown and not trying to live life normally.One of my aunts was saying herself that it is very very hard to come off and stay off them once you have taken them.

I know big drug companies push them and there is like a backlash against them and from what I have read,but it doesn't mean that it isn't the right thing for every person to NOT take them.

Anyway,that part aside,I know you and others were trying to help me and I do appreciate that.

I am in exactly the same position as you although I am almost 19 and don't take medication. I have a crippling fear of change or social situations (among other problems similar to yours) and about a year ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety/phobia. I am also on the autism spectrum as I show some traits of autism. I am too scared to 'end it all' because I am scared of what happens after death and hurting others. I also have that hope in life that at some point in the future evrything will magically get better which is what I wish for everyday. I've never told anyone besides my family about this and I feel that my friends would think I'm nuts if I told them.

Michael,I am sorry to hear that.Reading what you have wrote is as if I wrote it.I must admit,I do feel so much better now,but still,I know what you are going through.

I know you say you think your friends would think that you are nuts,but they must be more understanding than you think,but I understand that not everyone has friends who may feel that way.Even having friends - although good to have people around you - you can still feel just as lonely.

If you ever want to chat - I know I am a lot older than you,but we can still understand what it is to go through that - feel free to pm me.And remember,you are still only 19.I don't mean that to sound like I am patronising you because of your age,but just to bear in mind that you have got plenty of time to be able to get yourself better (I won't say healed as it doesn't really work that way).

Look, you can take your feelings, you can live with them, just learn how. If you don't like to be around lots of people that is OK, how can someone tell you what is normal and what is not?
Try to find something (or maybe someone) that makes you feel good, practice it (or spend time with that person) and believe me you will feel much better...

I think your feelings are relatively normal being that we live in a sick unhealthy society! You can almost feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, and that can bring about some depression. But may I suggest that what you have would be identified as aspergers syndrome. I think God created everyone differently, so I dont believe in this Jewish psycholical tool of making people feel they have something wrong with them and become paranoid and delusional with mental health problems. A good diet and exercise is the most effective tool to combat feelings of depression and alienation. Oh also drinking water seems energize you, clean you out a bit

I am so relieved that we share something in common. There is nothing wrong with us. we have urges, we have desires and sometimes they are repressed. True. We also try to release some steam, and I think that's ok, just in a way that doesn't hurt others. You are normal everyone feels like they are alon. We feel alone mostly because we cannot talk to our white brothers and sisters. My theory is that besides the trauma in our lives, our past that is, we have incorporated a sense of white guilt and tehrefore "denial" of what we feel is natural -ie sticking with our kind. I feel taht way, that's my opinion, bc who acuqises , who says yes all the time, we do not to start fights bc like Christ says we are peacemakers, we resort to non -violence(and the aggression can be muted by fighting the enemy with logic). Or doing the opposite, showing them love they don't have.
Anyway, so my theory is that we have learned guilt, and not to be called racists we are forced almost into prostitution by that I mean low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, accepting to be abused in realtions.I'm generalizing, this is not your case .

That is what happened to me, having to grin and bear it. You be YOUR OWN DOCTOR. I can give you a lot of support and I hope other whites are reading this. Send me your comments/suggetsions I'd love to help white folks who are struggling with mental/emotional issues as that is my cause since I have been struggling with those same issues for years.

I have been medicated, drugged and we are all brainwashed into taking medication- we are weakining ourselves that way. FEEL AWESOME ABOUT YOURSELF!