Category Archives: Family

My wife is a chew toy. Since we can’t have children, many people say we are lucky. My wife and I aren’t feeling so lucky with our new puppy. Just the other day, my wife was heading to the Hanford … Continue reading →

Chickens don’t run around because they are afraid. They run to avoid conflict and danger, but when summoned to provide assistance, chickens will always be willing to provide a fist, or a beak. My friend, and my brother’s best friend, … Continue reading →

A friend of mine, whose name, Jeremy, will remain nameless was recently cut off by a driver he referred to, out loud, as a “Douche Bag”. With a momentary lapse of verbal judgement, he forgot his three elementary children were … Continue reading →

Sometimes, the best introduction ends with a great concussion. Some of my brothers picked on me. Since I was the youngest, it was pretty fun for them to perform acts of unkindness. Hanging me up from a tree while serving … Continue reading →

No skates. No Ice. Just tennis shoes and clubs. The Winter Olympics isn’t just about figure skating around a rink. With remorse, I was forced by my sisters to watch ice skating. Although knowing zero about figure skating or hockey, … Continue reading →

Light poles weren’t easy to come around in Spokane, Washington in the ninety seventies. They weren’t even easy to hide behind on a night when lights were required. My late brother, Steve, although mostly revered for his wrestling talents, was … Continue reading →

One of my sisters began menopause in her mid twenties. It’s lasted for forty more years, yet I absolutely adore her, especially without moments of civil rage. In our family, regarding my sisters, civil rage can be manifested by someone … Continue reading →

On God’s Seventh Inning Stretch, he created T-Ball. It was one of his many mistakes. Actually, that’s not entirely true. He probably was just messing with us when he gave us the gift of the Tee, but, as usual, we abused … Continue reading →

As a Catholic, the most difficult thing for me growing up with Mormons for neighbors wasn’t the religious separation, but was spelling, “Mormon” correctly when sending them a greeting card. It tended to depreciate the level of care we genuinely … Continue reading →

My mother doesn’t use the F- word. She leaves that to her thirteen children. And, if one of her children doesn’t make the f bomb quota on a certain month, she can depend on the others to deliver it properly. … Continue reading →