Newcastle-Online

Have posted this on another forum, so I hope it's OK to share it on here. In light of the sad news about Gary Speed and also Stan Collymore speaking about his recent troubles, I hope it's OK to bring up the subject. Why? To shed light on something which affects a great many people yet often is misunderstood and belittled because it is considered something of a taboo by society in general.

Mental illness will affect 1 in 4 of us at some point in our lives and it's more common than people realize and yet there is this stigma. With regards to my own experiences, I've got an anxiety disorder which has been around for nearly 14 years now. Initially it was diagnosed as depression, then PTSD and finally a more GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) The last bout I had was 2 years ago, brought on by a trigger which I still don't know about. It lasted for 3 months, I dropped 3st in weight and ended up in a pretty bad way. As Stan Collymore said on his own Twitter blog today, it began as an irrational fear which built up over days and exploded into panic attacks and feeling constantly scared to death from the moment I woke up in the morning, until I somehow fell asleep at night. By the last occurance though, I had discovered something great about beating it and that is to share your experiences with others and talk about it. Granted not everyone feels able to do this - but I would urge it as it can be a huge help. With regards to how I dealt with it, I went onto 40mg Citaloram per day(which I am still on), along with an emergency supply of Diazepam and Temazepam (to aid sleep), which I take as an when which is thankfully very rare over the last 18 months or so. I've also had CBT in this time, which gave me a greater understanding of my illness. It's something which I have learned to live with and I now accept that I will come back at some point in the future, but I CAN and WILL get better.

Feel free to contribute and ask questions if it helps to generate more of an understanding. Attitudes are changing (abeit slowly) but more can be done.

*NOTE - I appreciate at this time, the reasons surrounding Gary Speed's death are unknown. Depression may or may not have been a factor.

my wife suffered from a mild post natal depression after girl 2's birth. she is still adamant it wasn't a depression as she had nothing to be down about but was constantly "tiredly stressed" if that makes sense. i'm always weary of her as she does stress over trivial things by which i mean losing nights sleep and before we had kids we'd often make trips to her work at 3am so she could double check mindless trivial things that we'd talked through many times that night to ease her. she's a prime depression candidate really, good job i'm so easy to live with :whistle:

Sometimes I think I might suffer from it, I'm not sure. Like i've had panic attacks in the past, I also get insomnia quite a lot and then have periods where I can't wake up for s***. I never feel 'depressed' per se, like really sad about anything. I'll struggle to physically get up but I'll still do my work and stuff in bed. But I go through spells where I can't be bothered to pick up the phone/go out for a week or two. I don't really know, don't want to diagnose myself with something serious which might just be a mixture of standard anxiety/laziness/unsociableness.

Sometimes I think I might suffer from it, I'm not sure. Like i've had panic attacks in the past, I also get insomnia quite a lot and then have periods where I can't wake up for s***. I never feel 'depressed' per se, like really sad about anything. I'll struggle to physically get up but I'll still do my work and stuff in bed. But I go through spells where I can't be bothered to pick up the phone/go out for a week or two. I don't really know, don't want to diagnose myself with something serious which might just be a mixture of standard anxiety/laziness/unsociableness.

Sounds similar to how I feel a lot of the time.

I had to go see a psychosomebullshitorother when I was 11/12 because I would get about 3 hours sleep a night and was constantly feeling stressed and rushed. That seemed to sort itself out in time and then my parents divorce a couple of years ago threw me off again. Being an only child meant that I was the middle man and felt the brunt of the break up. Essentially spent a year having to look after my mam whilst she suffered with depression, playing the role of an emotional punchbag whilst she was coming to terms with things, then once she got better from that her illness (something with her joints) flared up due to stress and depression and left her bed ridden for 4 months, so again it was down to me to take care of her. On top of that I've had to fit in university. During this time I've dreaded getting out of bed, struggled to sleep, suffered panic attacks and hated human interaction. There have been times where I've thought about going to the doctors, but I always put it off, thinking that the doctor could be seeing someone in a worse position than I'm in rather than seeing me.

Not going to go into any amount of detail right now but I've had longstanding (yet on and off) issues with this myself, hence the reason I get f***ed off with the ignorant attitudes to it that are all over the shop. The "pull yourself together" sentiment that you so often hear makes my blood boil.

Not going to go into any amount of detail right now but I've had longstanding issues with this myself, hence the reason I get f***ed off with the ignorant attitudes to it that are all over the shop. The "pull yourself together" sentiment that you so often hear makes my blood boil.

there are many for whom that advice is right, those who feel a bit down cos they're hard up or they've had an argument with the lass, however there are many many more for whom it is a clinical condition and that advice is really just taking the p*ss.

Not going to go into any amount of detail right now but I've had longstanding issues with this myself, hence the reason I get f***ed off with the ignorant attitudes to it that are all over the shop. The "pull yourself together" sentiment that you so often hear makes my blood boil.

It's quite clear where that attitude comes from though. Depression and anxiety is first of all something that we can understand if we've never experienced it. I'm lucky enough to not have had any experience from it whatsoever (neither me or anyone in my family or close friends, that I'm aware of anyway), and as it is such an intangible illness, it's easy to get that sort of attitude.Absolutely not saying it's right, or that I share the opinions, but I can see where it comes from. I honestly think Speeds tragic death will be a bit of an eye opener as well, will hopefully make these people realise that it is an illness, and that it can happen to even a wealthy father of two who's got friends all over the world and not one person has a bad word to say about him.

Sometimes I think I might suffer from it, I'm not sure. Like i've had panic attacks in the past, I also get insomnia quite a lot and then have periods where I can't wake up for s***. I never feel 'depressed' per se, like really sad about anything. I'll struggle to physically get up but I'll still do my work and stuff in bed. But I go through spells where I can't be bothered to pick up the phone/go out for a week or two. I don't really know, don't want to diagnose myself with something serious which might just be a mixture of standard anxiety/laziness/unsociableness.

Sounds similar to how I feel a lot of the time.

I had to go see a psychosomebullshitorother when I was 11/12 because I would get about 3 hours sleep a night and was constantly feeling stressed and rushed. That seemed to sort itself out in time and then my parents divorce a couple of years ago threw me off again. Being an only child meant that I was the middle man and felt the brunt of the break up. Essentially spent a year having to look after my mam whilst she suffered with depression, playing the role of an emotional punchbag whilst she was coming to terms with things, then once she got better from that her illness (something with her joints) flared up due to stress and depression and left her bed ridden for 4 months, so again it was down to me to take care of her. On top of that I've had to fit in university. During this time I've dreaded getting out of bed, struggled to sleep, suffered panic attacks and hated human interaction. There have been times where I've thought about going to the doctors, but I always put it off, thinking that the doctor could be seeing someone in a worse position than I'm in rather than seeing me.

You should certainly go seek help mate, that logic of yours in the last post is so incredibly flawed. He might just as well be someone that is in a position that isn't anywhere near as bad as yours instead of seeing you, and there are hundreds of other reasons why you just can't think like that. :thup:

I think that if I'd not had any experience of depression then I'd not feel I had the right to make sweeping generalistic, ignorant comments on it. I think I'd realise depression was a lot more complicated than feeling a bit down but people seem willing to over-simplify it based on perceptions that are a load of s****, frankly.

But there's also that "boy who cried wolf" thing where everyone seems to know someone who's taken the p*ss by staying off work with depression for a sustained period of time. How often this is a genuine example of taking the p*ss is another issue. Similar to the cheating of the benefits system this sort of thing creates resentment and ridicule that is widespread, and the people that are most vulnerable are forgotten about, and also more likely to just shut the f*** up and try their best to get on with it.

My dad tried taking his own life earlier this year and has been suffering from OCD and depression for a while, its a horrible thing to see and its even worse when you can't really understand the way that person is thinking/feeling, you'd always assume that "if this was me i wouldn't.." but after a while you realise its something that they can't control and it just takes over their lives and controls them. what really scares me is that my dad used to be really normal back when he was my age and it just hit him. thats why whenever i read about people like Gary Speed there always comes the fear that this might happen to me at one point, and its even worse when the person seems happy and succesfull in his life as i'm at a phase where i'm desperately seeking and working hard to have what they've got and to know i could lose it and take my life after i (hopefully) finally get it really puts me in a dark place. been feeling like s*** all day long.

My Dad was diagnosed with it a few years ago, when he felt he wasn't good enough to do his job any more. He was in tears telling us about his feelings, it destroyed me seeing him like that because he's not the emotional type let alone one I thought would ever doubt himself or end up with depression. Came as a huge shock.

The support (and medication) he received saw him through it though and he's loving life and work more than ever now. There are happy endings. :thup:

I think that if I'd not had any experience of depression then I'd not feel I had the right to make sweeping generalistic, ignorant comments on it. I think I'd realise depression was a lot more complicated than feeling a bit down but people seem willing to over-simplify it based on perceptions that are a load of s****, frankly.

With all due respect, just like I can't comment on how I'd feel had I had any experience with the disease, you can't say "I would do this and that if only". Like I said, it's incredibly hard for us to even begin to understand the illness as it's so intangible and something you can't see. I just don't think you've got any right to criticise people for not understanding something that often can't be understood.

I think that if I'd not had any experience of depression then I'd not feel I had the right to make sweeping generalistic, ignorant comments on it. I think I'd realise depression was a lot more complicated than feeling a bit down but people seem willing to over-simplify it based on perceptions that are a load of s****, frankly.

With all due respect, just like I can't comment on how I'd feel had I had any experience with the disease, you can't say "I would do this and that if only". Like I said, it's incredibly hard for us to even begin to understand the illness as it's so intangible and something you can't see. I just don't think you've got any right to criticise people for not understanding something that often can't be understood.

That's not what I'm saying, I'm not criticising people for not understanding it. I'm criticising people for dismissing it and ridiculing it.

And although I can't categorically say what my opinion of it would be without having directly experienced it, I can say with a high degree of confidence that I wouldn't dismiss it and ridicule it because it's not in my nature to be like that about anything, I'd sooner hold my tongue on it at worst.

Sometimes I think I might suffer from it, I'm not sure. Like i've had panic attacks in the past, I also get insomnia quite a lot and then have periods where I can't wake up for s***. I never feel 'depressed' per se, like really sad about anything. I'll struggle to physically get up but I'll still do my work and stuff in bed. But I go through spells where I can't be bothered to pick up the phone/go out for a week or two. I don't really know, don't want to diagnose myself with something serious which might just be a mixture of standard anxiety/laziness/unsociableness.

Diagnosed with it when I was around 12. Teen years, especially 13-15 were pretty tough (on more than just me). Last major episode was November 2009, though, so doing OK, managed to get off to Uni since then so it's nice to know it hasn't completely ruled my life (and therefore, might not in the future).

Still obliged to take medication though (Venlafaxine 225mg), but I'm hoping to come off it within the next year.

my mum was diagnosed with depression/anxiety last year, totally out of the blue - she was coming over to asia to visit us (first time to see her granddaughter) and stopped sleeping and s*** in the weeks before it, apparently she was just worrying about random aspects of the long journey and it got on top of her, she called me at 4am the day she was due to come and said she couldn't make it then did the same thing again a few months later

on a personal note i go into massive bleak patches myself, total gloom that i find it hard to get out of and often there's nothing that triggers it...been the same since i was a kid but i somehow always manage to just keep ploughing on and come out the other side, never seen anyone about it

Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me. I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF"

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,

Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me. I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF"

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,

Without the distinct intention of not sounding or being dickish, but for those of you have experienced depression - what turned it around for you? Was it circumstances in your life changing, or your attitude/perspective on said circumstances/life/everything? [Not just you Gimp, but others too].

I'm aware that for some it never fully goes away and is an reoccurring/intermittent part of the lives of many.

I've suffered with depression twice in the last few years, with the second episode being much worse than the first. Its kinda still there from day to day in different forms, but I've started to notice things when it could become a problem and take action to solve the issues which may be causing it. Funnily enough my second episode happened at the most stable part of my life, when I'd moved in with my future wife, had a solid job etc, so it is not always social circumstances that determines how depression can take hold.

I still suffer with anxiety, and it is all tied up with over thinking every situation and automatically jumping to the worst conclusion possible. If I think about things in the right frame of mind then I usually come to a conclusion that doesn't affect my mood, however sometimes its like I get stuck in a hole and I just get more and more negative, which leads to depressive thoughts. For example if my missus can't sleep she will not worry about it, and just relax and will eventually fall asleep. I'll lie there thinking that I'm never going to get to sleep, and that I'm gonna be useless at work the next day, if I dont sleep i will make a mistake etc.

I have managed these thoughts with the support of my wife to be, a bit of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and a bit of Counselling. My missus kinda made me realise a lot of what was getting me down was created by myself, and that only I can determine my reactions to events which happen. Once I kept that thought in my head I managed to turn in around. The medications they gave me didn't seem to help and the side effects were worse.

I've suffered with depression twice in the last few years, with the second episode being much worse than the first. Its kinda still there from day to day in different forms, but I've started to notice things when it could become a problem and take action to solve the issues which may be causing it. Funnily enough my second episode happened at the most stable part of my life, when I'd moved in with my future wife, had a solid job etc, so it is not always social circumstances that determines how depression can take hold.

I still suffer with anxiety, and it is all tied up with over thinking every situation and automatically jumping to the worst conclusion possible. If I think about things in the right frame of mind then I usually come to a conclusion that doesn't affect my mood, however sometimes its like I get stuck in a hole and I just get more and more negative, which leads to depressive thoughts. For example if my missus can't sleep she will not worry about it, and just relax and will eventually fall asleep. I'll lie there thinking that I'm never going to get to sleep, and that I'm gonna be useless at work the next day, if I dont sleep i will make a mistake etc.

I have managed these thoughts with the support of my wife to be, a bit of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and a bit of Counselling. My missus kinda made me realise a lot of what was getting me down was created by myself, and that only I can determine my reactions to events which happen. Once I kept that thought in my head I managed to turn in around. The medications they gave me didn't seem to help and the side effects were worse.

thats my wife. i was struggling yesterday to phrase what she is like but you've nailed it right there.

Glad to help, btw support her because it f***ing sucks, and is difficult to avoid doing it when you've done it all your life.

easier said than done. it's so annoying and frustrating for a devout rationalist like myself that even when stuff is broken down and explained she'll still freak out over the most trivial stuff that she'll twist in her mind.

Glad to help, btw support her because it f***ing sucks, and is difficult to avoid doing it when you've done it all your life.

easier said than done. it's so annoying and frustrating for a devout rationalist like myself that even when stuff is broken down and explained she'll still freak out over the most trivial stuff that she'll twist in her mind.

Had depression on and off for the past 6 years with anxiety/panic as a constant feature in varying forms of severity.

Pretty much completely controlled my life for a few years but bit by bit I started to deal with it a little bit. Still prone to a few big set backs but every time it gets a little quicker to claw yourself out. Don't think I'll ever be 'free' from it though although hopefully one day I might wake up enlightened or some s*** :lol:

My dad has suffered depression for about the last 15 years or so, initially beginning after my granda died but then later he had problems at work which was when it escalated. It all culminated in an attempted overdose about a year and a half ago. Thankfully there were no lasting effects and he's moved on mentally as well as taking early retirement and making a few other changes. He's an alcoholic as well though and my step mother also has mental health issues so it's a constant cycle of good times and bad times for them. Such a shame because he was a really intelligent and interesting man yet to most people now he's just a drunken old mess.

I often feel I have very similar traits myself and have had some really, really low moments coupled with excessive drinking (still something I need to sort out tbh) but my experiences with my dad have actually taught me a lot about how to handle certain situations and try and prevent them happening again.

Like several others I get very annoyed when people overuse the term 'depression' or come out with the 'snap out of it' mentality because it's absolutely not that straightforward.

Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me. I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF"

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,

:'( f*** me mate, had no idea.

I was a Technical/ Nvq instructor in a training centre for 10 years, for people with mental Health problems. Ive seen what happened with Gary Speed Too many times. :(

Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me. I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF"

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,

:'( f*** me mate, had no idea.

I was a Technical/ Nvq instructor in a training centre for 10 years, for people with mental Health problems. Ive seen what happened with Gary Speed Too many times. :(

Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me. I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF"

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,

:'( f*** me mate, had no idea.

I was a Technical/ Nvq instructor in a training centre for 10 years, for people with mental Health problems. Ive seen what happened with Gary Speed Too many times. :(

i thought you two were brothers ?

just goes to show madras, tho we saw very little of each other 15 years ago, when my kids were babies, maybe once a fortnight on a sunday at my mams.

I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

been through exactly the same billy with my three kids, 8 years ago. do they live far away?

I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

been through exactly the same billy with my three kids, 8 years ago. do they live far away?

5 minutes walk mate, but she's adamant I cannot see him during the week. I have to make do with nightly phone calls to say night to him..

Spoken at length down the years of my struggles with it, not sure I want to again, especially with my latest brush after splitting up recently. Would agree with anyone that shares the frustration at the "man up" type of sentiments that pervade the minds of others, but sadly you have to realise that it stems from those that like to self-diagnose themselves with depression because they've had a bit of a shitty time and in turn gives relevance to that approach. Hate that people try to sum up suicide as a selfish act (and Joey Barton is far from the only one, I've seen it on here before as well as everywhere, and everybody), when really the sheer desperation and misery that goes through your mind is beyond anything words can actually describe. Logic goes out the window.

Never be fooled by someone's overt happiness. That's not to second guess anyone that is a happy-go-lucky person, but we often go out of our way to hide it. Especially when you're considering drastic measures. I, as recently as August, attempted to take my life after a massive blow out with my ex, I was pretty blitzed, but I knew what the argument spelt out. She is, until now I guess (obviously), the only person that knows about it and that's only because she caught me in the middle of it. If it hadn't been for me blaring music at 1am, she'd never have come in and noticed. As a result I'm back in counselling and thankfully on the way back to recovery with the help of mates as much as anybody. But it still frightens me that I seem to drift in and out of it. I also guess that's why I'm going out of my way to help my ex, despite her less than appropriate behaviour towards the end of us, as she's really struggling and spiralling into misery herself.

Good luck to Billy and Bluf, sounds like tough times for you both. Wish you all the strength in the world.

I genuinely find it hard to understand the feelings of real depression, and how it might lead someone to drastic measures. Intellectually I know it's possible and I understand that it happens to people, but emotionally I'm not sure I really understand what those feelings must be like.

Good luck to Billy and Bluf, sounds like tough times for you both. Wish you all the strength in the world.

I genuinely find it hard to understand the feelings of real depression, and how it might lead someone to drastic measures. Intellectually I know it's possible and I understand that it happens to people, but emotionally I'm not sure I really understand what those feelings must be like.

This. All I can add is that a common theme I'm seeing is the importance of people in the whole process. Being able to talk about it to family, friends, anyone, seems to be so vital in trying to get your head around it and attempting to move forward.

Would have to add, medication has helped me. Sometimes people suffer from a chemical imbalance, and I reckon I'm one of those as I've had CBT enough down the years to know what I should be doing. It just doesn't work for me.

Not depression, but suffered with Health Anxiety and panic disorders since I was about 18, the year my Dad died.

Horrible and feel very lonely at times, even with everyone rallying around me.

On the right track now though, and only have the occasional lapse every now and then. Counselling helped. Never took the meds they gave me, always thought it was best to talk everything though.

weird, it's my first post on here. I am very similar. Lost my dad nearly 5 years ago. About 3 years after his death i started getting panic attacks. I had basiclly turned in on myself in terms of confidence etc since he died but I didnt realise it. Blocked off everything emotionally.

Panic attacks made me get help, and actually stopped me getting worse. I went to a councilor and they were great. I avoided the medicine but I only advise avoiding that if you think you can. THere is nothing wrong with using the crutch before you walk without one.

So Im much better these days. Still have negative thinking patterns but it's getting back to normall.

What was massive for me was being more in touch with my friends and family, dont be afraid to tell people you enjoy their company and appreciate being mates. I started benig more outgoing *emotionally* (i was always the outgoing type, and confident in appearance), but i would rarely let on when i was sad, and i didnt cry once when my dad died....that was a clear sign. I cry now when i think of him and it feels great to do it, nearly 5 years after I am only now letting my emotions have their way every so often.

Panic attacks scared the s*** out of me, before them I thought I was 100% sound mentally and could overcome any obstacle in my life. Then bang, cant controll this s***.... it's scary, like proper scary.

Anyway, it can be overcome, ultimately I feel I lost confidence in who I was, because I blocked out my emotions after the death of my dad (coupled with being screwed over straight after this by a girl i 'loved'), and began to put myself down for various reasons. I was too negative about myself. Strengthening relationships with my mam, and brothers, friends and importantly myself (all through the help of counseling) have made the world of difference. It's like I was becoming disconnected from the people around me, I had to purposely rebuild al that, but it worked.

One last thing, if you go to a counsellor do not be afraid to talk about *anything* that may be bothering you, no matter what it is - get it off your chest. Avoid s*** councellors, if they are being condescending or crappy to you, get a different one. THere are s*** ones out there, the right one makes a huge difference, it's all about trust and confidence in their advice.

If anyone is suffering from panic attacks, you can get over it and become a happy person again, it's tough, it takes time and effort, but completely and 100% possible :P :)

I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

been through exactly the same billy with my three kids, 8 years ago. do they live far away?

5 minutes walk mate, but she's adamant I cannot see him during the week. I have to make do with nightly phone calls to say night to him..

ah, ok mate. you could see what I was getting at. I found Sunday- till the following saturday hard, but it was helped by occaisionally helping out during the week. Its good that you can speak to him each night.

I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't contemplated taking my own life, but I truly couldn't let my son have to bear that. He is all that matters to me.

this is what will keep you going, look to build a life for yours and his futures, when hes a youth-going into teenager when he decides what hes doing, not his mam, will see some great times for you both and lots of adhoc contact- believe my experience.

I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't contemplated taking my own life, but I truly couldn't let my son have to bear that. He is all that matters to me.

this is what will keep you going, look to build a life for yours and his futures, when hes a youth-going into teenager when he decides what hes doing, not his mam, will see some great times for you both and lots of adhoc contact- believe my experience.

This is what I'm striving for...even at the tender age of 6 , he tells me that he wants to live with me...but of course with work it isn't feasible.

Emotions hold unbelievable over people. They may tear a great man down more than any physical ailment. For me, the probelm has always been my anger and tendency towards violence, and this thread is an indication of how commonplace depression has become. One of my cousins hanged himself at age 18 in similar circumstance. Over a girl or some such nonsense, nothing out of the ordinary. I couldn't understand it at the time (when I was 13), and I still have trouble comprehending it. The boy had so much in his favour. So much talent and promise, and the world at his feet. I remember how angry I was with him for abandoning all of us and wasting all he had been blessed with. You want to be able to feel the same emotion that haunted them, just so you can realise why someone close to you has willingly faded away.

Not depression, but suffered with Health Anxiety and panic disorders since I was about 18, the year my Dad died.

Horrible and feel very lonely at times, even with everyone rallying around me.

On the right track now though, and only have the occasional lapse every now and then. Counselling helped. Never took the meds they gave me, always thought it was best to talk everything though.

Very similar experience mate. I had been suffering panic attacks after a very horrible experience I had about a year and half ago, which I don't want to go into. I refused to take any sort of medication and just talked to a counsellor every 2 weeks and it helped so much. I also stopped drinking for a few months which helped a lot too.

Never felt so low in my life and came close to absolutely losing it a few times as I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Before having it , i had absolutely no idea about mental health problems like this and now, I have so much more sympathy and understanding of what goes on with some people.

Unfortunatly I have had a horrible experience with this. My wife has been hospitalised twice due to a condition called schizoaffective disorder, simply put its a series of high and low episodes. Her doctors seem more worried about the highs, but she has been hospitalised after a low and high episode. Its horredous to watch, you just feel so helpless. Friends and family do not know how to respond, some friends couldn't even talk about it with me. Its so difficult to understand, when she says she feels to crap to get out of bed it doesn't comprehend with me. Thankfully she is in check at the moment, but I do live in fear that it could happen anytime. Last time it was during the ash cloud business, she had just come back from a hen do in London and I was going to Amsterdam. On the Thursday evening she was the one giving me a prep talk as I was gutted i couldn't go. By Monday she had fallen to bits.

I think people need educating on depression etc, its seen by many as taboo, but it is an illness just like diabetes, nobody would bat an eyelid if you told them you are on insulin for the rest of your life, but they think you're an alien if you are on antipsychotic medication. We have a little one, thankfully he is too young for it to register, the 1st time he was under a year old last time he was about to turn 2. She's a great mum and wife and she's back in part time work in quite a stressful job, so even though it is a horrible thing to endure people can come out the otherside.

I feel strange telling strangers all this detail but sometimes it is easier to talk about than with close friends and family.

I've suffered and still do suffer the odd form of anxiety and panic attacks which I've long learned to not only live with but also feel fine about. I used to argue it was down to past drug taking but I think it could be far more physcological than that. I'm fine though and it doesn't hinder me in any way so I don't want to delve further if you like. Doing so would probably only lead to a prescription of drugs anyway.

Regarding depression itself, I don't think I've ever been depressed. I've been down and low but I don't think I've been clinically depressed and I'd argue that we need to be very careful when it comes to diagnosing depression and especially with the treatment. I know people who have been down and low and ended up hooked to anti-depressents when in all probability they were not depressed as such in the first place, but just down or low.

I think as people we can help ourselves a lot more than we realise too, when we are feeling down or out. A lot of people when feeling down and low self harm and I don't mean by cutting themselves, I mean by getting hammered or high on drugs or punching walls etc. The drink and drugs is fine in moderation I suppose but too many people go over the top and that initself can lead to further problems.

Me, whenever I feel down or low I'll put on music or do something creative. The best therapy is simply being in the company of good people, family, friends, people who will make you laugh, people you can talk to. Pets and kids are good therapy too. I've come home from a bad day at work for example when my sister and her bairn were staying for the weekend and simply seeing this bundle of fun running around makes you feel so happy its unreal. Same with a puppy for example.

I've known people who are really depressed mind and it's awful, you get the sense being around them they must live an empty life mentally even if their life outside of their own demons if you like seems normal to the eye. For example I know a guy who you'd think has it all but he's a manic depressive and constantly pushes people away from him, often becoming extremely nasty in the process and then the next day its like nothing happened and he's like 'hey, fancy a coffee'. I think Collymore alludes to that type of behaviour in his recent blog post in terms of one minute he's running 10K a day the next he's not seen datlight for a week.

I really do believe though, that our own minds although can be our own worst enemy, can also work in the opposite sense and be our best friend. We are capable of mentally healing our own depression and 'ills' such as feeling down. We often do it without even noticing it.

I do feel real sympathy with genuine sufferers of depression though and can only wish anyone on here who has depressions or sufferes from it all the best.

Would have to add, medication has helped me. Sometimes people suffer from a chemical imbalance, and I reckon I'm one of those as I've had CBT enough down the years to know what I should be doing. It just doesn't work for me.

glad to hear this tbh. having suffered from a very bad period of depression just over a year ago i found my experience the same, medication helped me at that time and made the lows a lot less life-threatening at the time. however i found CBT, while it made sense, a little patronising and rather simplistic. while it might help others i found it useless and i think in some cases, its simply not enough to be told how you should think and where your thinking goes wrong, for peoples thought process to change, me included.

Had some problems a few years back. No one noticed and I thought nothing was wrong other than me being a weirdo. Went to talk to the school nurse about something else but she noticed pretty fast that I might have some bigger problems, and she told me I most likely suffered from depression and anxiety. I was like "LOL WAT U CRAZY? I'm all fine yo". She convinced me to go to a psychiatrist at the end and that helped me. But what really made the difference was gaming. And that is no joke.The last couple of years I've been able to help quite a few teenagers because of what I went through, and that's positive. So going through a few years of depression and anxiety hasn't just been a waste.

When I ride my bike to work in the morning I do think about heading straight into oncoming traffic. But that's just because I hate my job hah.

I do wake up in the middle of the night panicking that I'm wasting my life, like I need to get out of bed and do something creative immediately. But again I think that's because of my job, and it wasting my life.

I've suffered with depression twice in the last few years, with the second episode being much worse than the first. Its kinda still there from day to day in different forms, but I've started to notice things when it could become a problem and take action to solve the issues which may be causing it. Funnily enough my second episode happened at the most stable part of my life, when I'd moved in with my future wife, had a solid job etc, so it is not always social circumstances that determines how depression can take hold.

I still suffer with anxiety, and it is all tied up with over thinking every situation and automatically jumping to the worst conclusion possible. If I think about things in the right frame of mind then I usually come to a conclusion that doesn't affect my mood, however sometimes its like I get stuck in a hole and I just get more and more negative, which leads to depressive thoughts. For example if my missus can't sleep she will not worry about it, and just relax and will eventually fall asleep. I'll lie there thinking that I'm never going to get to sleep, and that I'm gonna be useless at work the next day, if I dont sleep i will make a mistake etc.

I have managed these thoughts with the support of my wife to be, a bit of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and a bit of Counselling. My missus kinda made me realise a lot of what was getting me down was created by myself, and that only I can determine my reactions to events which happen. Once I kept that thought in my head I managed to turn in around. The medications they gave me didn't seem to help and the side effects were worse.

That paragraph there sums me up perfectly. Get stressed to bits about things which turn out to be not important in the end. The not being able to sleep thing doesn't affect me as much now but I was exactly like that. Lying there for hours telling myself to switch off which obviously meant that by thinking this I wasn't switching off.

Would have to add, medication has helped me. Sometimes people suffer from a chemical imbalance, and I reckon I'm one of those as I've had CBT enough down the years to know what I should be doing. It just doesn't work for me.

glad to hear this tbh. having suffered from a very bad period of depression just over a year ago i found my experience the same, medication helped me at that time and made the lows a lot less life-threatening at the time. however i found CBT, while it made sense, a little patronising and rather simplistic. while it might help others i found it useless and i think in some cases, its simply not enough to be told how you should think and where your thinking goes wrong, for peoples thought process to change, me included.

I've witness the benefits of medication, after my wife was first hospitalised she was really reluctant to stay on meds because of the weight issues she experienced, a few months later without telling me she dropped meds all together, everything seemed to go well until April 2010 when she fell apart again. Doctors have said this is probably down to the lack of meds. She has stuck to her meds after the 2nd breakdown and even though she has had what they call 'episodes' the meds have helped her from falling apart again. She has now accepted that she'll probably be on meds for the rest of her life. If she can conquer the weight issues then all should be well, weight seems to be the problem at the moment, and I fear her being so down about the weight may lead to another breakdown?

I have always had the tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion. When I was a kid, i would wait for my parents to pick me up from school, if they were ever like a minute late I'd start panicking that something bad had happened, it was ridiculous and so embarrassing. But I just put it down to being a kid and loving my parents or something. I've always been anxious about loads of stuff as well, but just thought it was a character trait, and it motivated me to work a lot so I didn't mind.

When my father was diagnosed with cancer when I was at university, it all started going beyond normal levels into insomnia, full blown panic attacks, proper anxiety that i couldn't just set aside, and turned into this lethargy as well where I wouldn't see anybody and didn't want to do anything. Maybe that was depression, but I never wanted to acknowledge it, so waited it out for a few months and just got through that year. The panic and anxiety would come on and off. When I split up with my ex who I was crazy about it all went really weird again, really regular panic attacks, insomnia, then the lethargy, all in this predictable pattern. I never thought about actually topping myself properly, but wondered weird stuff like what it would be like if I were dead, and how people would react. I would always shake those thoughts off quickly though.

That all got better, albeit with still intermittent panic attacks and regular anxiety/still always fearing the worst, when I talked to my friends about it, saw the university counsellor and talked stuff through. She said it was likely depression and I should consider getting it diagnosed but I never did, I think I have real problems admitting it to myself, so I hate talking about it. much less actually making it more than just a theory. I guess it's easy to talk about on here because, bar 1 or 2, I don't know any of you personally so it's kind of easier describing it to 'strangers'. It went away by living in the same place for a while, having a lot of good friends, getting a new girlfriend etc. But recently the panic attacks and lethargy have been coming back - I think it's because i have moved to a new city, been having problems with the girlfriend having moved up here, and always worry about my Dad no end because I can't see him regularly. Everytime I have a voicemail I worry it will be a family member saying he's died. That's actually the first time I've ever admitted that, but it's really harrowing and stressful. Also as a law student, I constantly fear failure, even though it's totally irrational as I've always got good enough marks throughout my life and never really failed.

I guess the others here who have talked about similar symptoms feel this too: it's so tedious, and tiring, and sometimes embarrassing. There's such a stigma and, aside from my close mates, I just won't tell anyone. Like I missed time at college recently because i felt it coming on so wanted to go home for a few weeks, and just lied to them saying I was ill, I just didn't want my teachers/classmates to know as I find it so, so hard to acknowledge or talk about, which isn't like me, I'm a proper blabbermouth.

Maybe it's time to finally do and talk to a doctor, as I worry it might kick in again being away from all my friends and family, and especially with continued issues with my girlfriend. Maybe I should tell my college I wasn't actually ill but this was the real problem. I don't know. I'll probably just keep it within as I usually to because I don't want the attention of people thinking I need help, and I don't want to admit that I might have a mental illness. Which is stupid, i know.

God, I really hate these kind of threads. It´s really uncomfortable to read, yet I can´t stop reading. At the same time, I have this irrational fear that reading about peoples thoughts, how they feel and what otherwise makes them or people close to them depressed can alter my chain of thought and spiral me into a depression.

This is not to disrespect anyone, but we´re sharing thoughts here, and this is what I genuinely think. I am really scared by the thought of it. I wouldn´t wish it on anyone. I know too many people who have taken/tried to take their lives because of it, step uncle, two friends, my neighbor, my tennis coach, only one of them survived, but still I don´t understand it, just scared of it.

God, I really hate these kind of threads. It´s really uncomfortable to read, yet I can´t stop reading. At the same time, I have this irrational fear that reading about peoples thoughts, how they feel and what otherwise makes them or people close to them depressed can alter my chain of thought and spiral me into a depression.

This is not to disrespect anyone, but we´re sharing thoughts here, and this is what I genuinely think. I am really scared by the thought of it. I wouldn´t wish it on anyone. I know too many people who have taken/tried to take their lives because of it, step uncle, two friends, my neighbor, my tennis coach, only one of them survived, but still I don´t understand it, just scared of it.

aye.....and nah!

as someone who has, thankfully, never really suffered anything like those described here, I wonder if the knowledge that others are going through a similar things is helpful. a long while back there was a possibility that the last 20 in where i work were going to be let go, i'd just got a mortgage and it was made easier by thinking that others i knew were in the same boat, the isolation of feeling your alone can often make it worse for many.

obviously this doesnt go for the clinical cases but the more "i'm down cos i'm having a bad time" type of scenario

Toon's Taylor - you are right when you say Drugs work but still not the answer. The person even on medication need to have belief and drive in themselves, its easy to fall into a doom and gloom trap. Its not as easy as saying pull yourself together but there is a big degree of self help. The old saying you can lead the horse to water........

I feel I have been very supportive of my wife but she is still well off being 'better'. I struggle to understand what is so tough in her life at the moment, our life has been the least stressful it has been for a long while. The job I am in I no longer fear the threat of it going under, the company I worked for went under during all of the problems with my wife and we came out the other side. I am in a very stable job now, even though the take home pay is slightly less my pension is pretty much kick ass compared to my previous one, I roll into work most days at 8.20 to start for 8.30 and leave dead on 4.30. My son is now 3.5 and his behaviour has improved massively, hes enjoying school and really progressing so I find it hard to understand why my wife is suffering. Whilst it is an illness there is a responsibilty on he shoulders to want to get better.

Doesn't that say a lot to you though? She is going through the most comfortable time in her life but is struggling with depression.

I think the easiest and most common mistake people have with depression is the "what have you got to be depressed about!?" Thing.

I know, I fell into that trap good an proper the 2nd time she 'fell apart'. Apart from the stress I was under in my old job things were going great, she lost the weight she wanted to lose, she just got back from a hen do, she just seemed happy and then bang.

I understand its not as easy as saying what have you got to be depressed about but as someone who hasn't suffered from depression its very difficult to understand the feelings of people who do. My wife, mother, nan & sister have all suffered from it in one form or the other, so I am familiar with it but its so frustrating not to be able to understand it fully. It looks like its a battle my wife and sister especially will be battling the rest of their lifes. What is frustrating is when people blame childhood experiences for depression. I'm sure in some cases its especially relevant but my wife had a great upbringing, never had much money in her family but they were a real tight unit and very supportive of each other, my sister on the otherhand had to go through a bit more. Depression is not a respector of anything or anyone.

All the help in the world isn't going to resolve a simple chemical imbalance, though. The stigma against medication is almost as bad as that of the stigma with depression.

Fair point, I think some people are reluctant to be reliant on drugs as they see it as a sign of weakness. FFS, I don't even like to take a paracetomol when I've got a headache.

My wife comes from a Church backround and I know some people I know are skeptical about medication. Yet they wouldn't be skeptical if it was heart medicine or insulin. I remember being at a conference before the guy speaking was a devout Christian and he said Christians are great during illness/injury as long as its from the next down. Anything above then its the work of the devil. But one thing that the 2nd hospitalisation proved is that the meds are very important and help regulate the triggers of big 'falls'.

I want to make it clear that I think its very important for sufferers to stick to medication but there is also a need for the sufferer to help themselves. The wife acknowledges this but some days just can't do anything about it and its a battle to get out of bed, even though its almost been three years of her major suffering I still find this part of it difficult to deal with. Not that it would do anything but I do feel like shaking my wife and saying "get a grip" I just wish things were that easy.

All the help in the world isn't going to resolve a simple chemical imbalance, though. The stigma against medication is almost as bad as that of the stigma with depression.

Fair point, I think some people are reluctant to be reliant on drugs as they see it as a sign of weakness. FFS, I don't even like to take a paracetomol when I've got a headache.

Exactly. It doesn't help that a vast amount of people do get wrongly prescribed, or overly prescribed, medication but there are enough success stories to render that point moot. Also, a lot of the time people don't give anti-depressants time to work. They can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 8 weeks to get to the level they need to. However, in that time you can, and will, take several steps backwards. When I first took medication I was nauseous constantly, clammy, sweating, disorientated and extremely forgetful. I considered suicide more in the 4 weeks it to work for me than I had done in the previous year. This is where the 'turned me into a zombie' myth comes from.

Once I got to the 4 week stage, though, I was a completely new person. I couldn't even understand my depression after that, felt like completely alien to me. It quite simply rebalanced my serotonin levels in a way all the therapy in the world would never do, and never did.

With my wife the therapy for the depression side of things doesn't seem to help her much. She also sees a therapist for an eating disorder which came about because of the mental side of thing, she finds those session much more helpful and seems to help on the depression side of things.

We paid for a private therapist last year and it seemed to help her loads, the guy was great, but we turned up to one session when he wanted to see us both only to be told on arrival that he dropped dead of a heart attack hours earlier. She has found it difficult to build up a rapport with anyone else since.

I'm in therapy, and I started getting CBT when I was 15. What I'm doing at the moment is just counselling though, I'm not interested in CBT any more, as I know it inside out. I accept it can be a success for a lot of people though and should always be the first port of call, but with some it just doesn't work because it's not a matter of cognitive processes.

I'm finding the counselling a good release, but I'm more using it for a chance to get things out to someone not attached to my life as opposed to needing it desperately like some.

It's helpful for others, and what you're saying I agree with, by the way. I just think there's far too much of a taboo with regards to medication. Bear in mind I'm talking about anti-depressants and not stuff like diazepam/valium, which I think can be quite bloody dangerous in the wrong hands.

Often thought of starting a conversation club where people meet up and talk about whatever they want in their lives. Seems we don't have meaningful conversations with our friends and family that often nowadays. At least I don't!

Often thought of starting a conversation club where people meet up and talk about whatever they want in their lives. Seems we don't have meaningful conversations with our friends and family that often nowadays. At least I don't!

Sometimes it is difficult speaking to friends and can be easier speaking with strangers. I'm trying to find some kind of carers club in Swansea but am finding it difficult to find them. I also wouldn't mind being a 'buddy' to a new carer. I didn't have a clue what to do first time around, there seemed to be very little help offered to carers, I've found its something you need to ask for. I think a group like that could be very helpful Ian.

Often thought of starting a conversation club where people meet up and talk about whatever they want in their lives. Seems we don't have meaningful conversations with our friends and family that often nowadays. At least I don't!

Sometimes it is difficult speaking to friends and can be easier speaking with strangers. I'm trying to find some kind of carers club in Swansea but am finding it difficult to find them. I also wouldn't mind being a 'buddy' to a new carer. I didn't have a clue what to do first time around, there seemed to be very little help offered to carers, I've found its something you need to ask for. I think a group like that could be very helpful Ian.

I've thought about doing it for ages, especially in London where people tend to only have a handful of friends in their local area and can't talk to strangers for fear of being assumed a weirdo.

It wouldn't have to always be about serious subjects, sometimes just about a film, or politics or what's happening on X Factor. Might look into it more.

When I first took medication I was nauseous constantly, clammy, sweating, disorientated and extremely forgetful. I considered suicide more in the 4 weeks it to work for me than I had done in the previous year. This is where the 'turned me into a zombie' myth comes from.

You written some really good posts in this thread, but I'm going to have to disagree here, I'm afraid.

The "zombie myth" isn't about what you described above. What it refers to is the "emotional blunting" that some people experience on ADs. Basically, after taking them for a while, you start to lose the ability to feel emotion. Eventually, you reach a stage where nothing really affects you. At this point, life can feel like it's been completely stripped of joy since you can't enjoy or care about anything. It feels pointless.

While ADs can and do help many, there are real side effects. The "zombie effect" does happen - at least, when you use certain ADs (in my case, Paxil).

I've experienced awful side effects on one kind of SSRI and the other two were s****. Honestly think exercise and acceptance is far more powerful than an anti-depressant for me personally. I'd probably find something more suitable but after the head shocks I got getting myself off one of them it's doesn't feel worth it at the moment. That's just me though, I know they're hugely beneficial to others and if I'd give them another shot if I ever started thinking about suicide again.

Diazepam is a different story though, brilliant stuff for nerves but unfortunately you've got little to no chance of getting put on them permanently from any GP's around here, they hate giving them out and tbh.. with how dangerously addictive they're supposed to be, coupled with my extremely addictive personality, I don't think I'd bother. :lol:

I've experienced awful side effects on one kind of SSRI and the other two were s****. Honestly think exercise and acceptance is far more powerful than an anti-depressant for me personally. I'd probably find something more suitable but after the head shocks I got getting myself off one of them it's doesn't feel worth it at the moment. That's just me though, I know they're hugely beneficial to others and if I'd give them another shot if I ever started thinking about suicide again.

Diazepam is a different story though, brilliant stuff for nerves but unfortunately you've got little to no chance of getting put on them permanently from any GP's around here, they hate giving them out and tbh.. with how dangerously addictive they're supposed to be, coupled with my extremely addictive personality, I don't think I'd bother. :lol:

All antidepressant are a short-term fix. After a period of time your body builds up a tolerance to them. The doctors just keep upping the dose and giving more and more cocktails.

You're right about cardio exercise, although it's hard sometimes to find the energy to start. Last month I was walking at least twice per day and working out. Hadn't felt that good in years. Now today, I find it an epic struggle just to move from my bed to the living room. I had a panic attack in Tesco Saturday because they have extended the store. Refused to shop there and had to go to Asda.

Title: Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
Post by: a random player who doesn't even play for us any more on Tuesday 29 November 2011, 03:41:06 PM

I once had the option to take anti depressants but refused because as I saw it as a quick fix and I knew it was essentially like putting a bandage over a bullet wound.

I recommend anyone to look into meditation if they have problems with negative thoughts etc It's lifechanging.

I think I'd get diagnosed with depression if I went to the doctors like. I lean heavily towards the negative in a lot of situations, I have passing thoughts on suicide that I'd never act out, I often long to just lie in bed all day rather than doing anything proactive, and I sometimes get really snappy and hurtful to those around me. I wouldn't consider myself depressed at all tbh but thinking about it I probably suffer from it in some degree.

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) and, in many cases, abnormally depressed states for periods of time in a way that interferes with functioning. Not everyone's symptoms are the same, and there is no simple physiological test to confirm the disorder. Bipolar disorder can appear to be unipolar depression. Diagnosing bipolar disorder is often difficult, even for mental health professionals. What distinguishes bipolar disorder from unipolar depression is that the affected person experiences states of mania and depression. Often bipolar is inconsistent among patients because some people feel depressed more often than not and experience little mania whereas others experience predominantly manic symptoms. Additionally, the younger the age of onset—bipolar disorder starts in childhood or early adulthood in most patients—the more likely the first few episodes are to be depression.[6] Because a bipolar diagnosis requires a manic or hypomanic episode, many patients are initially diagnosed and treated as having major depression.

Went to see a therapist recently which was excellent, did CBT which was interesting but like Bluf didn't find it overly helpful in the end. It was just pointing out the obvious without really offering a solution.

Was referred to a psychiatrist who in all honesty should be struck off, they were absolutely useless and set me back massively.

I do kind of feel I have nowhere to go now so just have to try and deal with things my own way.

I think I'd get diagnosed with depression if I went to the doctors like. I lean heavily towards the negative in a lot of situations, I have passing thoughts on suicide that I'd never act out, I often long to just lie in bed all day rather than doing anything proactive, and I sometimes get really snappy and hurtful to those around me. I wouldn't consider myself depressed at all tbh but thinking about it I probably suffer from it in some degree.

You've just described me to a T. I'm guessing your passing thoughts of suicide are of the "what if I weren't here any more" variety, not the "I can't stand another second of this" kind.

Depression, like most such things, is a sliding scale, and this is way short of what professionals mean by "depression".

All the help in the world isn't going to resolve a simple chemical imbalance, though. The stigma against medication is almost as bad as that of the stigma with depression.

Have to agree. There were two distinct periods of my life growing up - the one before my mom started taking meds and the time after she started taking meds. Luckily for her it worked a charm and after many years of being on medication she actually could go very long periods of time (months to years) without having to take medication because it had changed the chemicals so well.

I think meds are a great way to go if the depression/chemical imbalance is severe enough, as it changed my life when growing up in a household affected by clinical depression.

I think I'd get diagnosed with depression if I went to the doctors like. I lean heavily towards the negative in a lot of situations, I have passing thoughts on suicide that I'd never act out, I often long to just lie in bed all day rather than doing anything proactive, and I sometimes get really snappy and hurtful to those around me. I wouldn't consider myself depressed at all tbh but thinking about it I probably suffer from it in some degree.

You've just described me to a T. I'm guessing your passing thoughts of suicide are of the "what if I weren't here any more" variety, not the "I can't stand another second of this" kind.

Depression, like most such things, is a sliding scale, and this is way short of what professionals mean by "depression".

I think I'd get diagnosed with depression if I went to the doctors like. I lean heavily towards the negative in a lot of situations, I have passing thoughts on suicide that I'd never act out, I often long to just lie in bed all day rather than doing anything proactive, and I sometimes get really snappy and hurtful to those around me. I wouldn't consider myself depressed at all tbh but thinking about it I probably suffer from it in some degree.

I think I'd get diagnosed with depression if I went to the doctors like. I lean heavily towards the negative in a lot of situations, I have passing thoughts on suicide that I'd never act out, I often long to just lie in bed all day rather than doing anything proactive, and I sometimes get really snappy and hurtful to those around me. I wouldn't consider myself depressed at all tbh but thinking about it I probably suffer from it in some degree.

You've just described me to a T. I'm guessing your passing thoughts of suicide are of the "what if I weren't here any more" variety, not the "I can't stand another second of this" kind.

Depression, like most such things, is a sliding scale, and this is way short of what professionals mean by "depression".

More the latter, tbh.

Oh. Unless you're going through a particularly traumatic phase (something bad has happened), perhaps you should consider seeking help. I mean, you did say I'd never act out, but you do have Cobain as an avatar...

Can someone explain a little bit about what CBT is and how it's supposed to work? Just interested.

cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

I think its about dealing with ther hear and now issues and how it affects daily living. as opposed to psychotherapy talking about your past growing up , freudian stuff.

It's basically about learning how to think yourself out of a hyper state like depression, anxiety or panic, normally with use of rationalisation techniques. For instance, if you always fear the worst, it's about doing a situational analysis where weigh up and look at the most likely outcomes and the worst you fear and actually trying to reason yourself into understanding which is more likely with the use of rational, factual evidence. The hope is that the process becomes second nature to your thinking, and then reflects itself in your mental state/behaviour. It can work well for some people but for others it's not great, it depends to a great extent on your patience and how far into a state of anxiety/depression you've developed.

Had a longish post in there, felt pretty self-indulgent so deleted. I don't think I'm suffering from depression, but I do have feelings of utmost despair that's almost sickening at times. In large part I feel like I've brought it on myself, but I'm at this stage where one aspect of my life is both all-consuming and I want nothing further to do with it. It played a not-insignificant role in the break up with my girlfriend of 9 years March just past. It leads to feelings of genuine worthlessness and self-loathing.

Had a longish post in there, felt pretty self-indulgent so deleted. I don't think I'm suffering from depression, but I do have feelings of utmost despair that's almost sickening at times. In large part I feel like I've brought it on myself, but I'm at this stage where one aspect of my life is both all-consuming and I want nothing further to do with it. It played a not-insignificant role in the break up with my girlfriend of 9 years March just past. It leads to feelings of genuine worthlessness and self-loathing.

I was going to say, it sounds a lot more like stress. However, too much stress is very harmful and it gradually leads to depression.

Had a longish post in there, felt pretty self-indulgent so deleted. I don't think I'm suffering from depression, but I do have feelings of utmost despair that's almost sickening at times. In large part I feel like I've brought it on myself, but I'm at this stage where one aspect of my life is both all-consuming and I want nothing further to do with it. It played a not-insignificant role in the break up with my girlfriend of 9 years March just past. It leads to feelings of genuine worthlessness and self-loathing.

You should have kept the original post there - seems like you're back to ignoring the problem by covering it up.

Had a longish post in there, felt pretty self-indulgent so deleted. I don't think I'm suffering from depression, but I do have feelings of utmost despair that's almost sickening at times. In large part I feel like I've brought it on myself, but I'm at this stage where one aspect of my life is both all-consuming and I want nothing further to do with it. It played a not-insignificant role in the break up with my girlfriend of 9 years March just past. It leads to feelings of genuine worthlessness and self-loathing.

You should have kept the original post there - seems like you're back to ignoring the problem by covering it up.

The long version was just detailing what exactly was / is getting me down. There are genuine problems there that I will discuss professionally. But at the same time it felt a little bit like 'first world problems'.

Basically- I've spent too long pursuing a PhD that in the end I don't want, except for I don't want to have wasted that time. It's delayed what I wanted to get out of life, it was heavily involved in destroying a relationship, in turn I've gone way too far into debt and there are times when I just don't see a way out. As far as the relationship, the thing that hurts the most is not necessarily that it ended, but just that I didn't get that level of understanding from her in the last months we had, and since the break-up... well, I can't help but feel emotionally used at times. That's the stuff that is at the root of it all, and it's stuff I have honestly struggled to deal with- to the point where there are times where I feel so much guilt, so worthless over it all.

There are some "easy" solutions to that, I know it, but there's just this cycle I haven't broken out of, for whatever reason, and it keeps building.

Taking Propranolol for anxiety, was on Paxil until last Friday but that was after only three weeks, just didn't like the stuff. Only been suffering for five weeks (well retrospectively I've had an anxiety problem for much longer but it's effect on my everyday life was small) since I had a panic attack, seems like I'm on the way out of the s*** which is good, especially the last few days or so.

The worst thing about it for me was the hypochondria of what was happening to me, coupled with the feeling that it was never going to change. Thought I had anything and everything the five subsequent days after my panic attack such as depersonalisation, HPPD (Hallucinogen Perception Disorder), ME, and unlike a physical illness like the flu, I just couldn't see a way out. Even after a couple of days I was constantly playing scenario's on how my life was going to change, how I wasn't going to get through my last year at uni, how I would have to get a s*** job because my cognitive abilities ceased to be what they are. Seriously irrational but scary s***. Since then I've been up and down with days where I could be 80% and others where I can't function normally and would spend the day in bed. Like I've said though, since Friday there has been a massive improvement, would say i've been a constant 90% back to what I was. There is even a positive to all this, now I realise I have my issues with anxiety, I can try to overcome it, whereas there were things prior to this bout which I would avoid, but not really understand why.

I'm genuinely surprised how many people are effected by things like this though, due to my hypochondria I've been on every mental health forum out there reading account after account of Depersonalisation/Anxiety/Depression, but they were there because I was looking in the right places.

Cycling legend Graeme Obree on suicide attempts: 'I think I was incredibly lucky'Former world cycling champ describes the situation he was in when he attempted to take his own life.

Scots cycling legend Graeme Obree has spoken to STV about his experiences of trying to take his own life.

The athlete also talked about why those who have been affected by suicide struggle to understand why it has happened.

He spoke following the sudden death of football manager Gary Speed, the popular and respected Welsh manager was found dead in his home after taking his own life.

While no reason has yet been found for why he did it, the event has highlighted the scourge of suicide which is the leading cause of death of men in the UK under the age of 35. Every 40 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone takes their own life In Scotland, it claimed the lives of 781 people last year.

Men were nearly three times more likely to take their lives than women and here the most at risk are 35 to 44-year-old men. Across the UK it is the biggest cause of death for 15 - 34 year olds of either gender. The World Health Organisation says suicide kills one million people a year and lists it as a disease.

For 300 years, just talking about suicide has been seen as dangerous, but that attitude is changing.

The Scottish Government's Choose Life campaign is encouraging people to discuss issues around suicide. It is credited with driving down the country's rate by 14%. The target is 20% by 2013.

Former world cycling champion Graeme Obree spoke on STV's Scotland Tonight programme about his experience. In the past he made two attempts to take his own life.

He said: "I think I was incredibly lucky. Part of the reason I'm here - it's not an easy thing to come and talk about suicide - is because people like Gary Speed are not here to say 'I wish I hadn't done that'.

"I was the guy who kicked the chair away, with two kids and a wife who I dearly love.

"People, survivors of depression and suicide, where people in the family have committed suicide, they struggle to understand the reasons. There's resentment, there's a lot of anger .There is a lot of feeling that they did it because that person didn't love them enough.

"There are all these resentments and feelings left over and I feel they need to hear it from someone who has actually done that and survived and lived to regret it."

Asked what took him to his situation, Graeme Obree said: "It's too short a programme to get into all that. One was a feeling of isolation. Even in company I felt that there was a bell jar around me and I wasn't part of the world, I was observing it but I wasn't part of this world whatsoever, I wasn't connected.

"I felt disconnected and purposeless, you could have given me a million pounds and I would have said 'oh, that's great' but it would have been pointless."

He added: "People cannot understand that. They can't understand this. To give you an analogy, to nail it for ordinary people that might struggle to understand: Suppose you went to a party and you really really didn't want to be at that party and thought 'I really want to go home' because your tired or you really hate the company, but you keep happy and smiley and chatty, clock watching knowing that it will be over soon.

"Imagine you woke up and every day was like that, and it took ten times the energy to deal with every person, being happy and smiley and life went on like that. And you want to do is to go to sleep but there is no sleep so it seems like the only option is to not be there any more.

"Also that state of mind is proper mental illness. It changes your perspective of reality and I actually believed that I was a terrible person and my kids would be so much better off if I wasn't here. It wasn't that I didn't love them I'm sure with Gary Speed that wasn't the case.

"The main thing I want to say to people is that if someone has left you through suicide it wasn't that they didn't love you, and that's important to say that."

He added: "The big message I can give to anybody tonight - obviously accessing help - but my personal message is that I lived to realise how wrong I was, but other people didn't live to regret it.

"If someone is up there, and I'm not saying if I'm religious or not religious, but if Gary Speed's up there he might be saying 'I wish I hadn't done that. But he doesn't have a voice.

"I'm voicing that feeling: Don't you be that person that could have regretted it.

"The whole situation is like one of those slot machines where you put the coin in for charity and the coin goes round and round and down and down.

"You've got to break that spiral. Talk to somebody, do something about it. Something has to change."

If you have been affected by issues in this article you can contact the following organisations for emotional support:

Cycling legend Graeme Obree on suicide attempts: 'I think I was incredibly lucky'Former world cycling champ describes the situation he was in when he attempted to take his own life.

Scots cycling legend Graeme Obree has spoken to STV about his experiences of trying to take his own life.

The athlete also talked about why those who have been affected by suicide struggle to understand why it has happened.

He spoke following the sudden death of football manager Gary Speed, the popular and respected Welsh manager was found dead in his home after taking his own life.

While no reason has yet been found for why he did it, the event has highlighted the scourge of suicide which is the leading cause of death of men in the UK under the age of 35. Every 40 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone takes their own life In Scotland, it claimed the lives of 781 people last year.

Men were nearly three times more likely to take their lives than women and here the most at risk are 35 to 44-year-old men. Across the UK it is the biggest cause of death for 15 - 34 year olds of either gender. The World Health Organisation says suicide kills one million people a year and lists it as a disease.

For 300 years, just talking about suicide has been seen as dangerous, but that attitude is changing.

The Scottish Government's Choose Life campaign is encouraging people to discuss issues around suicide. It is credited with driving down the country's rate by 14%. The target is 20% by 2013.

Former world cycling champion Graeme Obree spoke on STV's Scotland Tonight programme about his experience. In the past he made two attempts to take his own life.

He said: "I think I was incredibly lucky. Part of the reason I'm here - it's not an easy thing to come and talk about suicide - is because people like Gary Speed are not here to say 'I wish I hadn't done that'.

"I was the guy who kicked the chair away, with two kids and a wife who I dearly love.

"People, survivors of depression and suicide, where people in the family have committed suicide, they struggle to understand the reasons. There's resentment, there's a lot of anger .There is a lot of feeling that they did it because that person didn't love them enough.

"There are all these resentments and feelings left over and I feel they need to hear it from someone who has actually done that and survived and lived to regret it."

Asked what took him to his situation, Graeme Obree said: "It's too short a programme to get into all that. One was a feeling of isolation. Even in company I felt that there was a bell jar around me and I wasn't part of the world, I was observing it but I wasn't part of this world whatsoever, I wasn't connected.

"I felt disconnected and purposeless, you could have given me a million pounds and I would have said 'oh, that's great' but it would have been pointless."

He added: "People cannot understand that. They can't understand this. To give you an analogy, to nail it for ordinary people that might struggle to understand: Suppose you went to a party and you really really didn't want to be at that party and thought 'I really want to go home' because your tired or you really hate the company, but you keep happy and smiley and chatty, clock watching knowing that it will be over soon.

"Imagine you woke up and every day was like that, and it took ten times the energy to deal with every person, being happy and smiley and life went on like that. And you want to do is to go to sleep but there is no sleep so it seems like the only option is to not be there any more.

"Also that state of mind is proper mental illness. It changes your perspective of reality and I actually believed that I was a terrible person and my kids would be so much better off if I wasn't here. It wasn't that I didn't love them I'm sure with Gary Speed that wasn't the case.

"The main thing I want to say to people is that if someone has left you through suicide it wasn't that they didn't love you, and that's important to say that."

He added: "The big message I can give to anybody tonight - obviously accessing help - but my personal message is that I lived to realise how wrong I was, but other people didn't live to regret it.

"If someone is up there, and I'm not saying if I'm religious or not religious, but if Gary Speed's up there he might be saying 'I wish I hadn't done that. But he doesn't have a voice.

"I'm voicing that feeling: Don't you be that person that could have regretted it.

"The whole situation is like one of those slot machines where you put the coin in for charity and the coin goes round and round and down and down.

"You've got to break that spiral. Talk to somebody, do something about it. Something has to change."

If you have been affected by issues in this article you can contact the following organisations for emotional support:

To be perfectly honest I didn't know her particularly well, we only met 3-4 times and she was away at Uni. Obviously I'm heartbroken for my mam and her partner though, they're in pieces over this. I just wish she could have had a snapshot view of how it would impact her family and that might have just made her pick up the phone and call someone. :(

To add my part to this. The student counselling centre helped me massively whilst at Uni. I lost a whole year to depression while studying. More in fairness when it's all totted up. I ended up doing some psycho-dynamics as well as the general one on one counselling. I could do with going back to be honest, shame it's not free any more.Whoever started this thread, well played. Thinking yourself out of depression is a great start. It may seem difficult at first but if you can take a first step to helping yourself by thinking logically about it will work wonders. To think about it though you need to talk about it. There's so many people that have experienced some level of depression/anxiety etc. Everyone's experience is different. You don;t need to talk to people that have gone through the same thing as you. You just need to empty your head of the worry to start improving the situation.

Have had anxiety at work for about 8 years now but today I couldn't go in the gym, I walked all the way there (about 30 minutes) and was right outside but just couldn't go in. I walked up to it a couple of times determined but just couldn't.

Never really had it at the gym before, really frustrated and feeling a bit pathetic.

I do tend to go through spells where I am more anxious than normal and I am currently in one of those so I am hoping it's that or because I went out on the p*ss Friday and am still tired from that.

Not sure what to say to my mates, I told one of them at 9.30 that I was going but text him at 9.55 saying I couldn't make it. They aren't the sort of blokes who are going to understand either, they are very much 'just man up and get on with it' types :lol:

You'll be alright mate, try not to dwell on it and work harder the next time you're there :) As for the anxiety levels, I find heavy drinking 100% makes it worse for a few days.

Don't think you need to tell your mates much more than that you couldn't make it tbh.. just make up any old s***, if you don't think they're the types you can confide in about it then it's probably best not to.

I started feeling really anxious on the escalators at Haymarket on Thursday night. Really felt like I was falling back so I was leaning forward a little bit more, then holding on to both railings. Never had a problem with them before, it just suddenly came over me. Had the overwhelming urge to just run up them but two of my mates were standing ahead of me.

One minute, Darren Eadie was the Premier League footballer who Martin O'Neill had paid out £3.5m to bring to Leicester City. The next, he was lying in a hospital bed, his arm covering his face, trying to take in a surgeon's words that his career was over.

Later, he would be hit by a depression so deep that it left him driving around the country lanes of his native Norfolk, so traumatised that he had to stop and call his wife out to come and rescue him. The same illness left him unable to go into the sea with his children on holiday, or to complete a birthday meal with his wife when the panic which was regularly seizing him took over once again. But to begin with, it was only the little things that hit Eadie as he went through the motions of packing up his life and career in a bag, at the Leicester City training ground.

"Everybody says you hang your boots up when your career is finished," Eadie says now. "But you actually take them down."

His story, which asks questions of whether football does enough to help those players who are thrown out before they are ready, begins in the bed of a private hospital in Leicester in 2003, where Eadie was trying to shake off the effects of an anaesthetic, after his third operation in one year on his left knee. It was surgery carried out to find out the effects of what had been the last roll of the dice – pioneering surgery, carried out on Eadie in Sweden 12 months earlier by the surgeon Lars Peterson, whose technique was to re-grow part of the cartilage in a lab, then inject it back into his knee via three grafts. It was a relatively new operation but it had worked before and it would do so again, notably when Manchester United's Ole Gunnar Solskjaer needed help.

Eadie had encountered problems with his knee before but had always overcome them. A crunching tackle by Scott Parker, 40 minutes into Leicester's game at Charlton on 1 April 2001 was different, leaving him sidelined for months and unable to get back playing. He never would get back. The knee never felt right after the Swedish surgery. When running one day he felt "something go" in it and it emerged that one of the grafts had fallen out of place. A repair took place, Eadie went back to the gym, but he felt the same problem. All three grafts had fallen out and that was when more exploratory surgery – in the Leicester hospital – brought him to his moment of truth with the surgeon and Leicester physio Dave Rennie.

"I just knew by the look on their faces that the news wasn't good but the words 'I'd advise you that it would be in your best interests to give football up' were shattering," Eadie says.

His wife, Kelly, was told by Rennie that she should get to the hospital as soon as she could. She immediately knew that the situation was not good. "I can remember walking in and seeing Darren lying on the bed with his arm covering his face," she recalls. "It was a massive blow for him, knowing that his football career was over, and it affected all his family too, as our family life was also based around Darren's footballing career."

Eadie's first instinct was panic. He was a top Premier League footballer at the time, earning good money. "When I got home and spoke to all my family on the phone, I wasn't sure what to do. My first thoughts were that money would be an issue and I'd have to sell everything to get by. It was unrealistic to be driving around in a Porsche any more. Everybody did their best to keep my spirits up, but the unknown was frightening." He recalls his final day at Leicester when he said his goodbyes, collected his belongings and walked into the boot room to take that pair of his down off the peg.

"That was probably the worst moment," he says. "Being told in a hospital environment wasn't great but going to gather my football bits together, knowing I was going to leave, was the hardest moment." It was after selling up in Leicester and moving back to the family home in Norwich, that he was finally confronted with the enormity of what lay in front of him.

"At first I was OK. It was nice being back among family and friends. I just thought I'd be able to sit around and do my own thing. But things started to change. People I'd started to trust in life let me down. In football and inside the changing room, everybody is pretty much in the same boat and same position in life. You all trust each other and the camaraderie in the team brings everybody closer.

"On the outside, things are different and you soon realise that you can't trust everybody. I was involved in a couple of business ventures that didn't work out. People that I thought had my best interests at heart didn't. It is hard when the only thing you know is football. I would go into Norwich and walk around and see everybody else was happy and it depressed me even more. It was a vicious circle. Then the panic attacks started and it was completely debilitating. I'd end up having to call Kelly to come and get me. It was really scary and it paralysed me at times. It would happen up to three times a day, and cause pain in my arms and other places in my body."

The news that his mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer – and had been made redundant – was another blow. "That was devastating, of course. Thankfully, she has had an operation and treatment and is making a great recovery. But… depression is a very lonely place, even with all the support around you. It's only in your head. I can remember driving one day in the country lanes around Norfolk and not being able to go any further. I had to phone Kelly up to come and get me." Had he considered taking his own life? No, he says. That is something he could not put his family through.

His wife lived through the depression too. "It was like looking after another child," Kelly says. "I didn't really have anybody to seek guidance from. It was very lonely and it certainly put pressure on our marriage. I didn't realise depression could make you so physically ill at times.

"What Darren was going through shocked me, and at times it made me feel numb. I wanted to run away but I was the one keeping the family together. I needed help how to deal with the illness. Football ruled our lives when Darren played. He told me one day in the middle of all this that he could never see himself being happy again. He wasn't able to go running for four years after he finished football. He couldn't even go out in the garden and play with our son, Taylor. Even on holiday in Cornwall he wasn't able to go in the sea with the kids."

Her birthday meal, when the two of them went out together, is one of the moments she remembers. "Halfway through, Darren started to get really upset and panicked. I had to quickly get him out of the restaurant and pay myself. It wasn't the birthday that I expected but the bigger picture was more serious." Eadie knew he needed to seek help. "I saw doctors and other people as well. Everybody was really good with me, especially Leon McKenzie, the former player, who had been through a similar experience."

But the help that came from within the game was not all it could have been, he says. "I was disappointed with the help that came from within the game. I spoke with Professional Footballers' Association chairman, Clarke Carlisle, who was great, but overall I found the PFA disappointing. When Gary Speed died, the PFA said they would be sending out leaflets to all ex-players about life after football, but nothing ever came through my door. I found myself waiting every day for it to arrive. There needs to be a place sportspeople can go to sort their heads out. Treat the early stages of depression and it could stop the addictions like gambling, drink, drugs starting. People start these when they are feeling at a low."

Like most people fighting depression, it was the solace of his family which helped most, although Eadie was astonished to discover so many others had been through the experience. "People have a perception about footballers being egotistical big-heads. Don't get me wrong, there are some of them, as in any walk of life, but most of them are not like that and depression is not an exclusive club. Wealth, race, age, gender – it can affect anybody at any time. It really is so important to talk and seek help. You will be amazed at the response."

Eadie has made it through and today finds himself in a better place. He works in local radio, enabling him to keep a close eye on his former teams Norwich and Leicester, and also for Sky Sports and other media. He has established a charity website – www.sellebrity.org.uk (http://www.sellebrity.org.uk) – auctioning celebrities' clothes and other items they no longer need. Beneficiaries include the Prince's Trust, of which he is an ambassador. He has also been involved in an enterprise to launch a new energy drink, EQ8, made from natural ingredients.

Where the future is concerned, it is still "one step at a time for me, so early on," Eadie says. But he has found focus. "I want to be just as successful in something else as I was at football. I am now working with some lovely people and I'm determined to make it all a success for them as well as myself. Things like this make you better and stronger." The last few years have been long but now he can really say that he has taken those boots down.

James Scowcroft scored almost 100 goals in 500 games as a professional footballer in England. He will be conducting a series of interviews for 'The Independent' with former players

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Have had anxiety at work for about 8 years now but today I couldn't go in the gym, I walked all the way there (about 30 minutes) and was right outside but just couldn't go in. I walked up to it a couple of times determined but just couldn't.

Never really had it at the gym before, really frustrated and feeling a bit pathetic.

I do tend to go through spells where I am more anxious than normal and I am currently in one of those so I am hoping it's that or because I went out on the p*ss Friday and am still tired from that.

Not sure what to say to my mates, I told one of them at 9.30 that I was going but text him at 9.55 saying I couldn't make it. They aren't the sort of blokes who are going to understand either, they are very much 'just man up and get on with it' types :lol:

Oh well :(

Alcohol is a depressive. If you drink a moderate amount you can cover with sugar the next day. Sugar and choc make the brain release happy chemicals. [/Parkydoctorin]

To add my part to this. The student counselling centre helped me massively whilst at Uni. I lost a whole year to depression while studying. More in fairness when it's all totted up. I ended up doing some psycho-dynamics as well as the general one on one counselling. I could do with going back to be honest, shame it's not free any more.Whoever started this thread, well played. Thinking yourself out of depression is a great start. It may seem difficult at first but if you can take a first step to helping yourself by thinking logically about it will work wonders. To think about it though you need to talk about it. There's so many people that have experienced some level of depression/anxiety etc. Everyone's experience is different. You don;t need to talk to people that have gone through the same thing as you. You just need to empty your head of the worry to start improving the situation.

What you think for the first half an hour when you wake up is really important. The brain doesn't get going releasing various chems for a bit and you can set it up to be more balanced by keeping thoughts in check in that first half hour.

Have had anxiety at work for about 8 years now but today I couldn't go in the gym, I walked all the way there (about 30 minutes) and was right outside but just couldn't go in. I walked up to it a couple of times determined but just couldn't.

Never really had it at the gym before, really frustrated and feeling a bit pathetic.

I do tend to go through spells where I am more anxious than normal and I am currently in one of those so I am hoping it's that or because I went out on the p*ss Friday and am still tired from that.

Not sure what to say to my mates, I told one of them at 9.30 that I was going but text him at 9.55 saying I couldn't make it. They aren't the sort of blokes who are going to understand either, they are very much 'just man up and get on with it' types :lol:

Oh well :(

Alcohol is a depressive. If you drink a moderate amount you can cover with sugar the next day. Sugar and choc make the brain release happy chemicals. [/Parkydoctorin]

however with both the body gets used to them and doses need to be increased....leading to bigger trouble [madrassensiblein]

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Similar happened to me in my old job. Had a boss who was a real piece of work and who knew of my problems with depression/anxiety and used it against me. I ended up reporting them and HR became involved. An investigation happened but they sided with the boss (mainly due to others who had witnessed what went on, refusing to speak out) and after a year on the sick, I was paid off via a 'compromise agreement'. Bullying in the workplace is rife and yet very often, it's the victim who comes off worst whilst the bully remains in situ.

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Similar happened to me in my old job. Had a boss who was a real piece of work and who knew of my problems with depression/anxiety and used it against me. I ended up reporting them and HR became involved. An investigation happened but they sided with the boss (mainly due to others who had witnessed what went on, refusing to speak out) and after a year on the sick, I was paid off via a 'compromise agreement'. Bullying in the workplace is rife and yet very often, it's the victim who comes off worst whilst the bully remains in situ.

So, so true. The people who end up running companies are nearly always b******s, and they will appoint other b******s to the better jobs in the company, so nice people get totally shafted. I get bullied every day at work, but if you're older than 5 then nobody gives a stuff and just say you should be able to take care of yourself, that's life. So I developed a "f*** you" attitude which means I get underpaid and underappreciated even more than before. :lol:

Wish I had something positive to say! I'm just waiting for the t***s to retire or die, hopefully the latter, but as there are seven of them and they are mostly younger than me I expect I'll die from the stress-related conditions they've caused first. They won't give a s*** but I wish Hell existed so they could burn there.

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Similar happened to me in my old job. Had a boss who was a real piece of work and who knew of my problems with depression/anxiety and used it against me. I ended up reporting them and HR became involved. An investigation happened but they sided with the boss (mainly due to others who had witnessed what went on, refusing to speak out) and after a year on the sick, I was paid off via a 'compromise agreement'. Bullying in the workplace is rife and yet very often, it's the victim who comes off worst whilst the bully remains in situ.

So, so true. The people who end up running companies are nearly always b******s, and they will appoint other b******s to the better jobs in the company, so nice people get totally shafted. I get bullied every day at work, but if you're older than 5 then nobody gives a stuff and just say you should be able to take care of yourself, that's life. So I developed a "f*** you" attitude which means I get underpaid and underappreciated even more than before. :lol:

Wish I had something positive to say! I'm just waiting for the t***s to retire or die, hopefully the latter, but as there are seven of them and they are mostly younger than me I expect I'll die from the stress-related conditions they've caused first. They won't give a s*** but I wish Hell existed so they could burn there.

OK, off to find my happy place, ooh, there it is. :lol:

bullying management, unable to stand up for yourself effectivly....thank f*** where i work there is a strong union presence.

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Similar happened to me in my old job. Had a boss who was a real piece of work and who knew of my problems with depression/anxiety and used it against me. I ended up reporting them and HR became involved. An investigation happened but they sided with the boss (mainly due to others who had witnessed what went on, refusing to speak out) and after a year on the sick, I was paid off via a 'compromise agreement'. Bullying in the workplace is rife and yet very often, it's the victim who comes off worst whilst the bully remains in situ.

So, so true. The people who end up running companies are nearly always b******s, and they will appoint other b******s to the better jobs in the company, so nice people get totally shafted. I get bullied every day at work, but if you're older than 5 then nobody gives a stuff and just say you should be able to take care of yourself, that's life. So I developed a "f*** you" attitude which means I get underpaid and underappreciated even more than before. :lol:

Wish I had something positive to say! I'm just waiting for the t***s to retire or die, hopefully the latter, but as there are seven of them and they are mostly younger than me I expect I'll die from the stress-related conditions they've caused first. They won't give a s*** but I wish Hell existed so they could burn there.

OK, off to find my happy place, ooh, there it is. :lol:

bullying management, unable to stand up for yourself effectivly....thank f*** where i work there is a strong union presence.

Unions being present doesn't always mean them being effective. My missus was injured at work and the union (Unison) just left her on her own, no back-up, no help, lied about her shifts, the rep couldn't give a s***, everyone just covered their own arses. Unions are a great concept, but when it comes down to it people are selfish and won't stand up for anyone else. And I do stand up for myself as effectively as I can in the circumstances. Fight the power :lol:

Missus has been disabled for over 20 years now and the NHS who she was working for at the time just told her to f*** off as did the union. Nice.

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Similar happened to me in my old job. Had a boss who was a real piece of work and who knew of my problems with depression/anxiety and used it against me. I ended up reporting them and HR became involved. An investigation happened but they sided with the boss (mainly due to others who had witnessed what went on, refusing to speak out) and after a year on the sick, I was paid off via a 'compromise agreement'. Bullying in the workplace is rife and yet very often, it's the victim who comes off worst whilst the bully remains in situ.

So, so true. The people who end up running companies are nearly always b******s, and they will appoint other b******s to the better jobs in the company, so nice people get totally shafted. I get bullied every day at work, but if you're older than 5 then nobody gives a stuff and just say you should be able to take care of yourself, that's life. So I developed a "f*** you" attitude which means I get underpaid and underappreciated even more than before. :lol:

Wish I had something positive to say! I'm just waiting for the t***s to retire or die, hopefully the latter, but as there are seven of them and they are mostly younger than me I expect I'll die from the stress-related conditions they've caused first. They won't give a s*** but I wish Hell existed so they could burn there.

OK, off to find my happy place, ooh, there it is. :lol:

bullying management, unable to stand up for yourself effectivly....thank f*** where i work there is a strong union presence.

Unions being present doesn't always mean them being effective. My missus was injured at work and the union (Unison) just left her on her own, no back-up, no help, lied about her shifts, the rep couldn't give a s***, everyone just covered their own arses. Unions are a great concept, but when it comes down to it people are selfish and won't stand up for anyone else. And I do stand up for myself as effectively as I can in the circumstances. Fight the power :lol:

Missus has been disabled for over 20 years now and the NHS who she was working for at the time just told her to f*** off as did the union. Nice.

I have had some depression issues over the years also had some major anxiety issues at work a couple of years ago, feeling physically sick and wretching every time i got in the car to go. It was basically as a result of a boss who was bullying me. What i should have done at the time was report him and go on the sick. What i did was try and battle through it, I thought i had beaten him/it however the same bullying boss then raised some stupid/poor decisions i had made as a result of the aniety he had caused and this ended up in me getting disciplined, nearly loosing my job and having to pay over 4 grand in legal fees to defend myself.

I moved on however I still hear stories of the same boss treating others the same way. Not sure why he does this seeing as he retires next month and should have his foot off the gas. Still at least when he goes the organisation will be rid of a two faced, nasty, bully.

Similar happened to me in my old job. Had a boss who was a real piece of work and who knew of my problems with depression/anxiety and used it against me. I ended up reporting them and HR became involved. An investigation happened but they sided with the boss (mainly due to others who had witnessed what went on, refusing to speak out) and after a year on the sick, I was paid off via a 'compromise agreement'. Bullying in the workplace is rife and yet very often, it's the victim who comes off worst whilst the bully remains in situ.

So, so true. The people who end up running companies are nearly always b******s, and they will appoint other b******s to the better jobs in the company, so nice people get totally shafted. I get bullied every day at work, but if you're older than 5 then nobody gives a stuff and just say you should be able to take care of yourself, that's life. So I developed a "f*** you" attitude which means I get underpaid and underappreciated even more than before. :lol:

Wish I had something positive to say! I'm just waiting for the t***s to retire or die, hopefully the latter, but as there are seven of them and they are mostly younger than me I expect I'll die from the stress-related conditions they've caused first. They won't give a s*** but I wish Hell existed so they could burn there.

OK, off to find my happy place, ooh, there it is. :lol:

bullying management, unable to stand up for yourself effectivly....thank f*** where i work there is a strong union presence.

Unions being present doesn't always mean them being effective. My missus was injured at work and the union (Unison) just left her on her own, no back-up, no help, lied about her shifts, the rep couldn't give a s***, everyone just covered their own arses. Unions are a great concept, but when it comes down to it people are selfish and won't stand up for anyone else. And I do stand up for myself as effectively as I can in the circumstances. Fight the power :lol:

Missus has been disabled for over 20 years now and the NHS who she was working for at the time just told her to f*** off as did the union. Nice.

To add my part to this. The student counselling centre helped me massively whilst at Uni. I lost a whole year to depression while studying. More in fairness when it's all totted up. I ended up doing some psycho-dynamics as well as the general one on one counselling. I could do with going back to be honest, shame it's not free any more.Whoever started this thread, well played. Thinking yourself out of depression is a great start. It may seem difficult at first but if you can take a first step to helping yourself by thinking logically about it will work wonders. To think about it though you need to talk about it. There's so many people that have experienced some level of depression/anxiety etc. Everyone's experience is different. You don;t need to talk to people that have gone through the same thing as you. You just need to empty your head of the worry to start improving the situation.

UNISON became involved in my case (at my request) and did their bit, so can't fault them on that. What was more annoying was those that sat on their hands and chose to say nothing, when asked as part of the investigation. The good old 'Bystander Effect'. :( Thing was, I had stood up for a colleague previously who had been on the receiving end of this boss, but once again the problem was swept under the carpet and my colleague was shifted elsewhere in the dept. Big institutions, such as the University where I used to work are breeding grounds for sociopaths and more often than not, it's seen as better to move the victims on quietly instead of dealing with the problem at source.

On the subject of workplace bullying, particularly working for the sociopathic types.A few years ago i was employed at a small company. The job itself wasn't particularly difficult and the pay was good, but the mindgames that went on at the place was something i hadn't struck before & wasn't prepared for.

As for the business owner & boss, we (with an emphasis on former staff) dubbed him The Puppeteer - quietly spoken, but he used to take delight in putting heads through a mincer. The staff turnover rate was shocking, and i know he was effectively booted out of the banking sector. A relative of mine is acquainted with somebody in middle-management, and eyes roll at the mention of this guys name.

Back to the company i worked for. I wouldn't categorise myself as somebody who suffers with a depressive disorder, but the demolition job done on my sense of self-worth (in my last months there) has led to anxiety issues. I hold such grave fear of running into another situation as the one experienced i now stick to casual & temp contract positions, as i'm afraid of any toxic politics kicking in (in the event of a that way inclined boss or 2ic figuring out what makes you tick & using it you) after the initial honeymoon period. I just can't commit to a company these days, thanks to having been put through a psychological meatgrinder.

While the pay is good (having a couple of casual gigs on the go) i've sacificed security, and my tax & benefits situations are a mess.

On the subject of workplace bullying, particularly working for the sociopathic types.A few years ago i was employed at a small company. The job itself wasn't particularly difficult and the pay was good, but the mindgames that went on at the place was something i hadn't struck before & wasn't prepared for.

As for the business owner & boss, we (with an emphasis on former staff) dubbed him The Puppeteer - quietly spoken, but he used to take delight in putting heads through a mincer. The staff turnover rate was shocking, and i know he was effectively booted out of the banking sector. A relative of mine is acquainted with somebody in middle-management, and eyes roll at the mention of this guys name.

Back to the company i worked for. I wouldn't categorise myself as somebody who suffers with a depressive disorder, but the demolition job done on my sense of self-worth (in my last months there) has led to anxiety issues. I hold such grave fear of running into another situation as the one experienced i now stick to casual & temp contract positions, as i'm afraid of any toxic politics kicking in (in the event of a that way inclined boss or 2ic figuring out what makes you tick & using it you) after the initial honeymoon period. I just can't commit to a company these days, thanks to having been put through a psychological meatgrinder.

While the pay is good (having a couple of casual gigs on the go) i've sacificed security, and my tax & benefits situations are a mess.

Have you thought about going to a counsellor? Sometimes they can give a person that sense of perspective they themselves cannot see... A lot of the time that is all it takes to alleviate problems. :thup:

Thought I'd post this in here. My mate from where I'm from is proposing to row across the atlantic from New York to Stornoway this year to raise money/awareness for mental health as he has suffered from issues in the past and still does to some degree I think. He's a good lad and he needs money to get this underway finally so have a look at his website and hopefully some of yous might feel the love and sponsor him(or buy a tshirt)!

I've had my issues with both depression and anxiety in the past, and still struggle with it, although more anxiety these days.

I have panic attacks. Mine are slightly different to what I read about most people's, in that i dont so much hyperventilate, i just start sweating profusely, shaking, legs trembling, mouth goes very dry, can't concentrate on anything, am aware I must look mental, but most notedly with an overwhelming urge to get out of wherever I am.

It is unbelievably hard to explain to people what it is like if they've not had them themselves.

Over the last 10 years - actually, longer, since about 1999 I reckon, which was when I got divorced (am happily shacked up anew since 2000, mind), I have had pretty much constant issues with it. It doesn't render me totally stricken, for periods of a year or two, I can manage it entirely and feel like I am winning, but eventually it comes back to some degree.

Having issues at the moment, been a tough year, business struggling, found myself making people who work for me and who I have come to consider friends, who are good solid staff, redundant, spent good amount of time arguing with my business partners, Mrs has been involved in a long, drawn out redundancy thing at work (public sector), lots of stuff like that, it all contributes to bring it back.

It's f***ing nuts. I'm a 44 year old man, I run my own business, have a masters degree, know my s*** professionally, I earn decent money. I even know exactly what causes panic attacks and anxiety and what makes it worse. I know myself mentally and know what not to do when they start getting bad.

But, despite all that, I still get them. It's crazy. There are certain situations where I know it will happen. If we're out for a meal, for example, I'll be thinking "I don't want to be feeling s*** now, here" and hey presto, I do. I also hate being stuck in queues for anything. The worst is in big, slow moving queues where you're stuck, like at airports.

However, I also find myself trying to avoid them in shops. This morning, I sat in my car, waiting for the queue at Starbucks (three or four people max) to go down, so I could get in and out with no problems. It is nigh on impossible to explain something like that to someone who has never suffered this kind of thing.

Like a lot of people, for me, it is highly situational, and there doesn't have to be anything remotely angst-causing or scary about the situation in question. I once had a minor one whilst taking the cat to the vet's. Result? Every time I now go to the vets, I have a minor one.

Another one for me is that at football matches, for the first ten mins or so, I am always, always incredibly anxious. Not just the usual kind of anxiety you'd associate with Aston Villa for the last three years, but I'll sit there, sweating, shaky, thinking maybe I should leave .... it happens almost every time. But I always manage to ride it out and it passes in the end.

Basically, your mind starts thinking "oh no, I am going to start to feel anxious", so your body reacts, and then you think "s***, now I am feeling anxious", so you start reacting again, and you go into full panic.

I get bits of depression mixed in but it's nowhere near as bad as the anxiety, I find it much easier to handle, and it is usually because I am down BECAUSE OF the anxiety. I don't disappear into a dark room for days, I just find myself tired and moping.

This sort of thing is sometimes hereditary. My mother is exactly like me. When we were kids in the 70s, I used to wonder why my mom was that way, why often her and my dad would arrange to go out, then she'd decide on the night she didn't want to go. I used to get annoyed at her, but now, looking back, I realise what it was.

I actually think the biggest thing with anxiety and panic is to teach people to realise what they are. In the 90s when i first had a prolonged spell of anxiety, one symptom i had was repetitive, unpleasant thoughts, along the lines of "maybe I'd do this, maybe I'd do that" where this and that were horrible things. At the time, there was way less info available on anxiety, and i had absolutely zero idea what was going on with me. I genuinely thought I was going nuts.

That is the sort of situation where it is really very, very frightening indeed.

Don't really have anything to contribute to that other than that, like Bluf, I found it interesting reading. And whilst I can't say I've had any experiences of that nature, I can logically see how it might happen and escalate.

Whenever I feel down I always convince myself that my issues are trivial and that everyone deals with them. It seems to serve as a way to mentally force myself to be strong and ride it out. In my experience, no matter how bad things get, they generally don't stay that way forever. Life doesn't stand still.

Lost my Cuz a year ago today. Beautiful young woman, just starting to spread her wings then got ill, dead at 23. Just unreal. Can't delete her number from my phone, don't want to lose the texts. Took it much worse than losing my Dad tbh. Sometimes i lay there thinking about it and it feels like someone's sitting on my chest, hard to breathe or feels like there's too much pressure in my head. Worse thing is seeing my uncle and aunt, just broken people now. I know time will take the edge off, still, it's all too heavy for words really.

Lost my Cuz a year ago today. Beautiful young woman, just starting to spread her wings then got ill, dead at 23. Just unreal. Can't delete her number from my phone, don't want to lose the texts. Took it much worse than losing my Dad tbh. Sometimes i lay there thinking about it and it feels like someone's sitting on my chest, hard to breathe or feels like there's too much pressure in my head. Worse thing is seeing my uncle and aunt, just broken people now. I know time will take the edge off, still, it's all too heavy for words really.

Feel for you mate, I have only lost friends at a similar age so I don't really know how bad it is when it's someone really close.

very interesting read from brummie especially for someone who's never suffered anything like that.

what i guess is often annoying is when others give their coping techniques not understanding that it's pointless, the sufferer has no reason to feel anxiety but does, its clinincal so to have some joe say "well what i do...."can be seen as being a bit tactless.

i'd like to add a little actually, more so on how others cope as opposed to coping strategies. recently we've had a rather serious issue which is ongoing, i dealt with the main incident very rationally, almost shutting off any emotion (in the past this behaviour has lead to my being labelled unemotional and heartless). my wife has a need to talk and re talk about the situation whereas mine is to internalise it and deal with it on my own (i need a lot of time to myself even when times are good) which leads to friction, she says angrily that i am verging on aspergers but then understands it's my way, i gave her as much as i can and she eventually gives me time.

on another note it shows what this place is like, some use it in a way to help them with their demons, for me it's to escape (football has always been one of my escapes, at times you need to forget about all the problems, no matter what they are, it's not running away from them but a brief respite)

i'd like to add a little actually, more so on how others cope as opposed to coping strategies. recently we've had a rather serious issue which is ongoing, i dealt with the main incident very rationally, almost shutting off any emotion (in the past this behaviour has lead to my being labelled unemotional and heartless). my wife has a need to talk and re talk about the situation whereas mine is to internalise it and deal with it on my own (i need a lot of time to myself even when times are good) which leads to friction, she says angrily that i am verging on aspergers but then understands it's my way, i gave her as much as i can and she eventually gives me time.

on another note it shows what this place is like, some use it in a way to help them with their demons, for me it's to escape (football has always been one of my escapes, at times you need to forget about all the problems, no matter what they are, it's not running away from them but a brief respite)

good post brummie- takes a strong person to be that honest/open. IMHO this type of anxiety appears to be a natural flight oir fight reaction that has become intensified by stress, and focussed on certain stressful situations.

i'd like to add a little actually, more so on how others cope as opposed to coping strategies. recently we've had a rather serious issue which is ongoing, i dealt with the main incident very rationally, almost shutting off any emotion (in the past this behaviour has lead to my being labelled unemotional and heartless). my wife has a need to talk and re talk about the situation whereas mine is to internalise it and deal with it on my own (i need a lot of time to myself even when times are good) which leads to friction, she says angrily that i am verging on aspergers but then understands it's my way, i gave her as much as i can and she eventually gives me time.

on another note it shows what this place is like, some use it in a way to help them with their demons, for me it's to escape (football has always been one of my escapes, at times you need to forget about all the problems, no matter what they are, it's not running away from them but a brief respite)

Lost my Cuz a year ago today. Beautiful young woman, just starting to spread her wings then got ill, dead at 23. Just unreal. Can't delete her number from my phone, don't want to lose the texts. Took it much worse than losing my Dad tbh. Sometimes i lay there thinking about it and it feels like someone's sitting on my chest, hard to breathe or feels like there's too much pressure in my head. Worse thing is seeing my uncle and aunt, just broken people now. I know time will take the edge off, still, it's all too heavy for words really.

Feel for you mate, I have only lost friends at a similar age so I don't really know how bad it is when it's someone really close.

It's f***ing nuts. I'm a 44 year old man, I run my own business, have a masters degree, know my s*** professionally, I earn decent money. I even know exactly what causes panic attacks and anxiety and what makes it worse. I know myself mentally and know what not to do when they start getting bad.

As someone who suffers from similar symptoms this is what I wish people would take from that post more than anything else. The people that suffer from issues such as these know they shouldn't be having these thoughts, know whatever triggers it isn't a big deal, etc, but have no choice in the matter. Sometimes the trigger is so small, and others will look at it and be like "really?" but it sits like a seed in our head and starts a chain reaction that is very hard to control at the best of times and near impossible at the worst.

The thing is with panic attacks/pro-longed anxiety is that it can be so overwhelming that being able to think clearly goes out of the window (as someone said above) I believe there is some thinking that being more prone to depression/anxiety can be passed on genetically, which kind of fits in with me too as my mother has had similar problems in the past.

Wifely lack of understanding of the seemingly robotic husband they have, and all that entails. Of your human emotions, I can do angry quite well though, but not often, and not for long, and I don't think it's the one the missus would have chosen anyway.

Wifely lack of understanding of the seemingly robotic husband they have, and all that entails. Of your human emotions, I can do angry quite well though, but not often, and not for long, and I don't think it's the one the missus would have chosen anyway.

i can do angry but it's not around emotional issues, it's politics mainly and by extension general ignorance. luckily with this recent issue the wife has realised that my "coldness" has it's place as it did come in handy.

good post brummie- takes a strong person to be that honest/open. IMHO this type of anxiety appears to be a natural flight oir fight reaction that has become intensified by stress, and focussed on certain stressful situations.

Cheers, mate.

It is definitely the fight or flight thing. It's all so situational, too. I think people who don't suffer this sort of thing assume that you sit and stress yourself thinking about something over and over. That can happen and can be part of it, but for me, isn't really the case.

It's often as simple as "I was here once (either in a place, or in a certain situation) and I had a bit of a funny turn. I hope that doesn't mean it'll happen this time, too" - then without thinking any more about it, you feel your body start to react. It is basically releasing adrenaline to cope with what it thinks is a situation of danger.

Sometimes it is "if it happens here, it's going to be embarassing as I can't get away, or it would be embarassing to have to do so" (maybe in a restaurant with friends, in a queue at Starbucks, in an airport queue), which has the same effect, you feel it start to happen, the adrenaline pumps around your body.

That really is what causes it - the adrenaline. If you just think "it is not scary, it is just a physical issue, it will go away" it helps, but it is so, so difficult to make that work.

The natural temptation is to start avoiding those situations so it can't happen. So, some people will avoid flying, some will avoid eating out or going for a drink out, some will avoid shopping - basically whatever situation it is that triggers you.

In my experience, though, that is the absolute worst thing to do. However horrible it is, you have to force yourself to endure these difficult, anxious situations. Once you've done them a few times, you start to worry less, you realise it's not going to kill you, you get less stressed about it, and therefore it becomes less likely to be a problem. It is just that doing this is very, very difficult indeed.

There are other things that make it worse. If I get really, really p*ssed, I have terrible hangovers and am a wreck (anxious as f***) the next day. Even if i don't get p*ssed but drink a bit too much, the next day it is the same, anxiety levels much higher.

The annoying thing is that a drink is the one thing that pretty much always takes the edge off it at the time - a couple of pints and you're calming down - but the damage is over time, or the next day when you pay the price.

I don't drink too much, but that explains why so many people with anxiety or depression issues also have a drink problem, and it just creates a spiral effect, which makes things worse.

good post brummie- takes a strong person to be that honest/open. IMHO this type of anxiety appears to be a natural flight oir fight reaction that has become intensified by stress, and focussed on certain stressful situations.

Cheers, mate.

It is definitely the fight or flight thing. It's all so situational, too. I think people who don't suffer this sort of thing assume that you sit and stress yourself thinking about something over and over. That can happen and can be part of it, but for me, isn't really the case.

It's often as simple as "I was here once (either in a place, or in a certain situation) and I had a bit of a funny turn. I hope that doesn't mean it'll happen this time, too" - then without thinking any more about it, you feel your body start to react. It is basically releasing adrenaline to cope with what it thinks is a situation of danger.

Sometimes it is "if it happens here, it's going to be embarassing as I can't get away, or it would be embarassing" (maybe in a restaurant with friends, in a queue at Starbucks, in an airport queue), which has the same effect, you feel it start to happen, the adrenaline pumps around your body.

That really is what causes it - the adrenaline. If you just think "it is not scary, it is just a physical issue, it will go away" it helps, but it is so, so difficult to make that work.

The natural temptation is to start avoiding those situations so it can't happen. So, some people will avoid flying, some will avoid eating out or going for a drink out, some will avoid shopping - basically whatever situation it is that triggers you.

In my experience, though, that is the absolute worst thing to do. However horrible it is, you have to force yourself to endure these difficult, anxious situations. Once you've done them a few times, you start to worry less, you realise it's not going to kill you, you get less stressed about it, and therefore it becomes less likely to be a problem. It is just that doing this is very, very difficult indeed.

There are other things that make it worse. If I get really, really p*ssed, I have terrible hangovers and am a wreck (anxious as f***) the next day. Even if i don't get p*ssed but drink a bit too much, the next day it is the same, anxiety levels much higher.

The annoying thing is that a drink is the one thing that pretty much always takes the edge off it at the time - a couple of pints and you're calming down - but the damage is over time, or the next day when you pay the price.

I don't drink too much, but that explains why so many people with anxiety or depression issues also have a drink problem, and it just creates a spiral effect, which makes things worse.

Does it ever happen if there is absolutely no one else around? Like, you're completely alone, not a soul in sight?

But, despite all that, I still get them. It's crazy. There are certain situations where I know it will happen. If we're out for a meal, for example, I'll be thinking "I don't want to be feeling s*** now, here" and hey presto, I do. I also hate being stuck in queues for anything. The worst is in big, slow moving queues where you're stuck, like at airports.

However, I also find myself trying to avoid them in shops. This morning, I sat in my car, waiting for the queue at Starbucks (three or four people max) to go down, so I could get in and out with no problems. It is nigh on impossible to explain something like that to someone who has never suffered this kind of thing.

Like a lot of people, for me, it is highly situational, and there doesn't have to be anything remotely angst-causing or scary about the situation in question. I once had a minor one whilst taking the cat to the vet's. Result? Every time I now go to the vets, I have a minor one.

Another one for me is that at football matches, for the first ten mins or so, I am always, always incredibly anxious. Not just the usual kind of anxiety you'd associate with Aston Villa for the last three years, but I'll sit there, sweating, shaky, thinking maybe I should leave .... it happens almost every time. But I always manage to ride it out and it passes in the end.

Basically, your mind starts thinking "oh no, I am going to start to feel anxious", so your body reacts, and then you think "s***, now I am feeling anxious", so you start reacting again, and you go into full panic.

Exactly the same as me.

26 years old and was never an anxious person or had a panic attack, then stupidly hit some drugs too hard and ended up having a panic attack as a result. Now it happens quite regularly. Not so much full on panic attacks, but strong feelings of anxiety and feeling like a panic attack is coming on. Same thing happened to a friend a while back, and as such he bought an absolute s*** load of etizolam (anti anxiety tablets) online, not prescribed, and gave me a load of them. They definitely help and make it go away temporarily, but are by no means a long term solution and will just end up making things worse as I'll become more reliant on them and when they run out I'll be screwed.

But at the minute I can't go out into certain situations without 1 or 2 of them with me, especially situations where it's came on before because you're convinced it's going to happen again. It's instilled in my head that if I don't have any with me that the anxiety will come on, and if it does I'll have a solution. It's very psychological but extremely hard to control it and make your body understand this. Mind over matter type of thing.

The worst thing is, when I was over visiting my lady friend in Liverpool for 3 days over New Years it didn't come on once and I felt great the whole time, yet once it was time to go home and she was driving me to the airport I felt it coming on and had to take an etizolam as soon as I got there. Just the thought of being in such a busy, social environment like an airport and having all that queueing then flying alone etc.

Going to the doctors again next week and hopefully they will shed some more light on it now that I no longer take any drugs or anything.

Already wrote my experiences on this board before so I'll not bother putting them down again, but if anyone would like some files I have on my PC on how to try to deal with it send me a PM and I'll give you a link, might help to understand it a little more :)

good post brummie- takes a strong person to be that honest/open. IMHO this type of anxiety appears to be a natural flight oir fight reaction that has become intensified by stress, and focussed on certain stressful situations.

Cheers, mate.

It is definitely the fight or flight thing. It's all so situational, too. I think people who don't suffer this sort of thing assume that you sit and stress yourself thinking about something over and over. That can happen and can be part of it, but for me, isn't really the case.

It's often as simple as "I was here once (either in a place, or in a certain situation) and I had a bit of a funny turn. I hope that doesn't mean it'll happen this time, too" - then without thinking any more about it, you feel your body start to react. It is basically releasing adrenaline to cope with what it thinks is a situation of danger.

Sometimes it is "if it happens here, it's going to be embarassing as I can't get away, or it would be embarassing" (maybe in a restaurant with friends, in a queue at Starbucks, in an airport queue), which has the same effect, you feel it start to happen, the adrenaline pumps around your body.

That really is what causes it - the adrenaline. If you just think "it is not scary, it is just a physical issue, it will go away" it helps, but it is so, so difficult to make that work.

The natural temptation is to start avoiding those situations so it can't happen. So, some people will avoid flying, some will avoid eating out or going for a drink out, some will avoid shopping - basically whatever situation it is that triggers you.

In my experience, though, that is the absolute worst thing to do. However horrible it is, you have to force yourself to endure these difficult, anxious situations. Once you've done them a few times, you start to worry less, you realise it's not going to kill you, you get less stressed about it, and therefore it becomes less likely to be a problem. It is just that doing this is very, very difficult indeed.

There are other things that make it worse. If I get really, really p*ssed, I have terrible hangovers and am a wreck (anxious as f***) the next day. Even if i don't get p*ssed but drink a bit too much, the next day it is the same, anxiety levels much higher.

The annoying thing is that a drink is the one thing that pretty much always takes the edge off it at the time - a couple of pints and you're calming down - but the damage is over time, or the next day when you pay the price.

I don't drink too much, but that explains why so many people with anxiety or depression issues also have a drink problem, and it just creates a spiral effect, which makes things worse.

Does it ever happen if there is absolutely no one else around? Like, you're completely alone, not a soul in sight?

Yes, it does sometimes, but then again, if you're totally on your own, you're more than likely at home, so there's an easier escape from it (bed, for example).

26 years old and was never an anxious person or had a panic attack, then stupidly hit some drugs too hard and ended up having a panic attack as a result. Now it happens quite regularly. Not so much full on panic attacks, but strong feelings of anxiety and feeling like a panic attack is coming on. Same thing happened to a friend a while back, and as such he bought an absolute s*** load of etizolam (anti anxiety tablets) online, not prescribed, and gave me a load of them. They definitely help and make it go away temporarily, but are by no means a long term solution and will just end up making things worse as I'll become more reliant on them and when they run out I'll be screwed.

But at the minute I can't go out into certain situations without 1 or 2 of them with me, especially situations where it's came on before because you're convinced it's going to happen again. It's instilled in my head that if I don't have any with me that the anxiety will come on, and if it does I'll have a solution. It's very psychological but extremely hard to control it and make your body understand this. Mind over matter type of thing.

The worst thing is, when I was over visiting my lady friend in Liverpool for 3 days over New Years it didn't come on once and I felt great the whole time, yet once it was time to go home and she was driving me to the airport I felt it coming on and had to take an etizolam as soon as I got there. Just the thought of being in such a busy, social environment like an airport and having all that queueing then flying alone etc.

Going to the doctors again next week and hopefully they will shed some more light on it now that I no longer take any drugs or anything.

The first time it ever happened to me - a 'panic attack' rather than general anxiety - i was in Cannes for a conference with work. Basically, a four day jolly, nice food and wine, with the occasional walk around an exhibition hall, and on expenses, so about as stress-free as it gets.

Walking along the street with a colleague, out of nowhere, I started to feel incredibly dizzy, like i was going to pass out. Went and sat in a bar for an hour or so, and I still felt absolutely terrible. It's not unlike that feeling you get when you're absolutely starving hungry, and you get really shaky as a result - like that but much worse, more concentrated.

I didn't know that was what it was at the time, and it's f***ing terrifying if you don't know what it is, and it comes out of nowhere.

The reason i put panic attack in '' is because, like you, i don't actually think mine are full on panic attacks. If you read other peoples' descriptions, they tallk about struggling to breathe, massive chest pains etc. I don't have any of that, but the bits I do get are bad enough alone!

I'm surprised a panic attack can be spontaneous and happen when you're feeling relaxed. I don't know anything about it obviously, I assumed you would need a negative feeling, or fear of a negative feeling, to trigger it. Interesting stuff.

Ome thing I will say, though, is that I am glad this never really started happening to me until i was into my 30s. If I had had to handle it as a teen, or as a student, say, I don't know if I'd have managed it.

I was pretty happy-go-lucky at university, had a fantastic time, in a great place to be a student (Newcastle) and then a great place to have a good time (London), so I count my blessings it was never an issue to me at that point in my life.

I'm surprised a panic attack can be spontaneous and happen when you're feeling relaxed. I don't know anything about it obviously, I assumed you would need a negative feeling, or fear of a negative feeling, to trigger it. Interesting stuff.

The first bad one I got I was just sitting in my room playing poker, next thing it felt like my breath was being taken away and I had a tightness in my chest. Basically like I was about to take a heart attack. Was frightening.

Banged 2 eitizolam to calm me down, then had to go tell my parents and go to doctors. They did an ecg etc and said everything looked fine. But I wonder would the results have been different if I hadn't have taken any anti-anxiety tablets, which I didn't mention.

Brummie - panic attacks vary from person to person. For me, heart palpatations, sweaty hands, a fear of impending doom/need to get out, inability to sit still and relax and also a tightening of the throat muscles (feels a bit like someone is choking me) Never had chest pains that some get, though I hear it's no surprise that some folk think they are having a heart attack when it happens for the first time.

I'm surprised a panic attack can be spontaneous and happen when you're feeling relaxed. I don't know anything about it obviously, I assumed you would need a negative feeling, or fear of a negative feeling, to trigger it. Interesting stuff.

It can be completely normal sensations that trigger them.. anxiety (everyone has it, it's a normal human emotion, something it's easy to forget about when you have an anxiety disorder) excitement, anger etc... all can mimic the start of panic and the problem with the disorder is that usually you're on the constant look out for symptoms. The key imo.. is accepting these sensations, as soon as you think "Oh s*** is that panic? I don't want to panic here I'll look like a tit, I'm going to panic' or whatever it turns into an attack. Basically it's fed by fear, without fear you can't have a panic attack imo.. the more you fear it the bigger problem it becomes.. acceptance is a big hurdle to get over, if you can get to the stage where you think 'Oh it's only panic, it'll pass' then the chances are it wont escalate into panic at all... getting there a bitch though, it's not easy to think clearly at all at the time and riding through one in a room full of people or a situation you associate it with is easier said than done.

Panic attacks can't hurt you and they can only last so long.. just got to ride them out and accept.. I've come a long way since all this s*** started for me, I'm not out of the woods yet but now I know how to deal with it.. depression on the other hand :okay: :lol:

Anyway like I say I've got some good reading material on this that I paid for if anyone wants a copy, it explains it all a lot better than I can.

Totally understand that. I've had a stammer for my whole life so I understand the importance of acceptance and how fear of something can cause it to happen. My reaction was always acceptance first, whereas a lot of people end up with self loathing and extreme embarrassment and stuff that only causes more problems.

I'm having problems with this at the moment, but I never want to admit that it's depression, because I always feel like there's a reason and that if there's a reason it's not really depression, more a rut, or in this case an extended rut. Having said that I haven't been able to sleep for fear that I'm wasting my life, but I honestly cannot work out what to do to make it better at all. That's the terrifying part of it, I don't think there's a way out.

I'm having problems with this at the moment, but I never want to admit that it's depression, because I always feel like there's a reason and that if there's a reason it's not really depression, more a rut, or in this case an extended rut. Having said that I haven't been able to sleep for fear that I'm wasting my life, but I honestly cannot work out what to do to make it better at all. That's the terrifying part of it, I don't think there's a way out.

get it checked.

i think it was collymore that described it thus...... I went to the doctor, described my position, he said it was depression. can't be, what have i to be depressed about.

the horrible point is that since depression/bi polar etc became a vogue ailment many who are a bit down claim they are clinically depressed/bi polar while many wander about in pain because they don't see any reason to be depressed therefore don't think it could be that.

Only semi-related to Brummie's post but I've had issues before with my mild asthma in terms of worrying it's going to be a problem to the point at which it becomes a problem. Not so much any more, but there was a period a couple of years back where if I was out exercising, merely realising my reliever wasn't with me would bring on wheezing in minutes. Same in bed if I knew it wasn't on my bedside table where I usually keep it. Really odd.

Ome thing I will say, though, is that I am glad this never really started happening to me until i was into my 30s. If I had had to handle it as a teen, or as a student, say, I don't know if I'd have managed it.

I was pretty happy-go-lucky at university, had a fantastic time, in a great place to be a student (Newcastle) and then a great place to have a good time (London), so I count my blessings it was never an issue to me at that point in my life.

What you've described happened to me mildly as a teenager, then just got way out of control in my early 20s. Everything you've said over the past couple of pages is me, it's quite strange reading it. (I actually just got a hot flush and tingle reading it -only way I can describe it :lol:)

Least you managed to get yourself sorted before it all happened, you should see the mess of a life I've led up to now because of things. :crazy2:

Only semi-related to Brummie's post but I've had issues before with my mild asthma in terms of worrying it's going to be a problem to the point at which it becomes a problem. Not so much any more, but there was a period a couple of years back where if I was out exercising, merely realising my reliever wasn't with me would bring on wheezing in minutes. Same in bed if I knew it wasn't on my bedside table where I usually keep it. Really odd.

doesn't seem odd at all. a little worry added to the natutral reflex of "no"

Depression is a hard one to describe really. I saw the word "rut" used and though that looks like being dismissive at first, its kind of accurate. I'd get in very dark moods where i thought id never be happy again, or even at school where id be just turning it around and then someone would say like one thing (however meaningless) and it would just send my mood crashing down.

All i can say is just have someone to talk to. I think it feels cathartic sometimes to just wallow in it, but its feels 100 times better if you have someone there to listen.

The thing about anxiety and depression is that, if you weren't depressed before you had anxiety issues, you're almost certainly like to be when you get them - as a result of them.

For many people who suffer PAs, the restricting factor is "what if" - "what if .... we went to London for the day, and i had an attack? I'd be miles from home", "what if .... I went on a long haul flight and had one on the plane, I'd be stuck for hours" "what if ... I took that job that involves meetings most of the week, and I had one in a meeting"

That's - in my opinion - the way it most ruins lives, it places artificial restrictions on what you do.

What i've done to combat this, along with counselling, is to purposely put myself in these positions again and again. Basically not give a s***. If you've done something once it's never as bad the next time. I'm going to Vietnam teaching English for a year, on my own, in September. :)

Ome thing I will say, though, is that I am glad this never really started happening to me until i was into my 30s. If I had had to handle it as a teen, or as a student, say, I don't know if I'd have managed it.

I was pretty happy-go-lucky at university, had a fantastic time, in a great place to be a student (Newcastle) and then a great place to have a good time (London), so I count my blessings it was never an issue to me at that point in my life.

What you've described happened to me mildly as a teenager, then just got way out of control in my early 20s. Everything you've said over the past couple of pages is me, it's quite strange reading it. (I actually just got a hot flush and tingle reading it -only way I can describe it :lol:)

Least you managed to get yourself sorted before it all happened, you should see the mess of a life I've led up to now because of things. :crazy2:

Sorry to hear you've had the same experience. Not a barrel of laughs, is it?

I haven't got it sorted at all, really, I am still on medication, and I still have the same problems. The severity waxes and wanes. When i turned 40, I had a really bad period, including a month or so where I barely left the house. The one before that was probably a couple of years prior to it.

The last two times the doctor put my on citalopram, which I hadn't been on before. The first time, the side effects were awful for a couple of weeks - massively increased anxiety being the main one - but I rode them out, and it helped me for a while. The second time, the side effects were, for some reason, ten times as bad. For two months, I felt worse than i have ever felt before. In the end he switched me to another med which is miles better.

That's not to say everyone gets side effects, they don't, but different people react differently to different meds. All the ones I'd been on before (fluoxetine - which is prozac, seroxat, dosulepin, I'd had zero side effects with.

Step-son giving a bit of cause for concern for me and the Mrs at the moment. He's been back living between ours and his big sister's for the last 6 weeks or so. He's 24, had a history of mental health associated problems, but seems to be getting himself back on track a bit over the last year (being more motivated, doing voluntary work, etc) However, he has taken to the spare bed since Friday and not really shifted, save for going to the bog. He's not even had much (if anything) to eat or drink. Said he wasn't well at first - had no energy, so we put it down to a bug. Since then he's just becoming more unresponsive and says he will 'get up later', but never does. Part of me is thinking he could be having some kind of depressive episode/breakdown and I want to source some help for him quickly. This may involve ringing a doctor tomorrow and arranging a house visit, though it will have to be a doc from my surgery as he is registered in the East End of Newcastle (where he used to live) He won't talk to me and our lass. Any ideas fellas?

Step-son giving a bit of cause for concern for me and the Mrs at the moment. He's been back living between ours and his big sister's for the last 6 weeks or so. He's 24, had a history of mental health associated problems, but seems to be getting himself back on track a bit over the last year (being more motivated, doing voluntary work, etc) However, he has taken to the spare bed since Friday and not really shifted, save for going to the bog. He's not even had much (if anything) to eat or drink. Said he wasn't well at first - had no energy, so we put it down to a bug. Since then he's just becoming more unresponsive and says he will 'get up later', but never does. Part of me is thinking he could be having some kind of depressive episode/breakdown and I want to source some help for him quickly. This may involve ringing a doctor tomorrow and arranging a house visit, though it will have to be a doc from my surgery as he is registered in the East End of Newcastle (where he used to live) He won't talk to me and our lass. Any ideas fellas?

sounds like it needs intervention defo. what area? can you ring the local community psychiatric team- there will be a duty mental health worker on.

I'm not sure about the local CAT team, CP. I think they only come out when having been referred but I will look into it. The worry is that he has self-harmed in the past - cutting himself and also taking an overdose. I'm not sure that would happen this time, but it's a concern.

I'm not sure about the local CAT team, CP. I think they only come out when having been referred but I will look into it. The worry is that he has self-harmed in the past - cutting himself and also taking an overdose. I'm not sure that would happen this time, but it's a concern.

We live in Fenham, btw.

I would have thought there will be some out of hours support for Newcastle? you could be right like about a referal , if hes not an active case.

NHS Direct arranging now for an out of hours intervention, as he told our lass that he is feeling suicidal 'most of the time' when the advisor got her to ask him, though he has 'no specific plan'. :( Should get a call back in the next hour.

From my experience there's a big difference between feeling suicidal and being suicidal. One is where you literally have no care for yourself or what happens and the other is like an itch telling you to kill yourself. Awful, awful feeling.

Had serious depression since I was about 14, been so long now I don't remember what it was like to actually feel anything :undecided:

NHS Direct arranging now for an out of hours intervention, as he told our lass that he is feeling suicidal 'most of the time' when the advisor got her to ask him, though he has 'no specific plan'. :( Should get a call back in the next hour.

Doctor rang back and said that there doesn't seem to be any immediate cause for concern, so have just got to keep an eye on him overnight and see how things are in the morning. Possibly ringing his own doctors as they have his records/medical history. I've removed our meds box and put it safely in our bedroom (just in case)

From my experience there's a big difference between feeling suicidal and being suicidal. One is where you literally have no care for yourself or what happens and the other is like an itch telling you to kill yourself. Awful, awful feeling.

Had serious depression since I was about 14, been so long now I don't remember what it was like to actually feel anything :undecided:

Think that would be me right now. Thankfully, don't have the bollocks for it.

I've been severely depressed for around 4 years now, unhappy all my adult life, I've got pretty much every kind of symptom for depression. (including lack of libido. :pilko: :memelol: ) I just don't see the point in seeing a doctor as my life problems will never go away by doing that.

Just need to keep going, it's a matter of whether I'd be able to pick myself up before I finally lose all hope of life.

From my experience there's a big difference between feeling suicidal and being suicidal. One is where you literally have no care for yourself or what happens and the other is like an itch telling you to kill yourself. Awful, awful feeling.

Had serious depression since I was about 14, been so long now I don't remember what it was like to actually feel anything :undecided:

Think that would be me right now. Thankfully, don't have the bollocks for it.

I've been severely depressed for around 4 years now, unhappy all my adult life, I've got pretty much every kind of symptom for depression. (including lack of libido. :pilko: :memelol: ) I just don't see the point in seeing a doctor as my life problems will never go away by doing that.

Just need to keep going, it's a matter of whether I'd be able to pick myself up before I finally lose all hope of life.

i think everyone thinks of killing themselves. i've had no anxiety or depression/bi polar type issues but sometimes you are in a position (on top of a crag, nerxt to a railway line etc) where it is so easy and it does cross your mind. i find it quite positive that in the end i always choose no.

edit, do you think the life problems are the root of your depression ?

From my experience there's a big difference between feeling suicidal and being suicidal. One is where you literally have no care for yourself or what happens and the other is like an itch telling you to kill yourself. Awful, awful feeling.

Had serious depression since I was about 14, been so long now I don't remember what it was like to actually feel anything :undecided:

Think that would be me right now. Thankfully, don't have the bollocks for it.

I've found it will the pass, the other feeling is the one that stays with ya and cripples you. When you don't care what happens to yourself it's hard to eat, sleep and just generally live well/right.

From my experience there's a big difference between feeling suicidal and being suicidal. One is where you literally have no care for yourself or what happens and the other is like an itch telling you to kill yourself. Awful, awful feeling.

Had serious depression since I was about 14, been so long now I don't remember what it was like to actually feel anything :undecided:

Think that would be me right now. Thankfully, don't have the bollocks for it.

I've been severely depressed for around 4 years now, unhappy all my adult life, I've got pretty much every kind of symptom for depression. (including lack of libido. :pilko: :memelol: ) I just don't see the point in seeing a doctor as my life problems will never go away by doing that.

Just need to keep going, it's a matter of whether I'd be able to pick myself up before I finally lose all hope of life.

i think everyone thinks of killing themselves. i've had no anxiety or depression/bi polar type issues but sometimes you are in a position (on top of a crag, nerxt to a railway line etc) where it is so easy and it does cross your mind. i find it quite positive that in the end i always choose no.

edit, do you think the life problems are the root of your depression ?

Without a doubt. One thing above all, which has been hanging over me for the last 6.5 years now (and counting), is the root of it all. It's something that would wreck probably 90% of us, I would say. It's the root of all of my problems and has affected pretty much all aspects of my life. (can't think of something that it hasn't affected.)

The even more unfortunate thing for me is, this problem started when I was 23 (now 29), so basically it's ruined my life before it even began. (Even before 23, I had other things that made me unhappy and, inevitably now, depressed) It's no exaggeration to say that I've completely wasted my teenage years and 20's...... hence why I'm now in a very dark hole.

From my experience there's a big difference between feeling suicidal and being suicidal. One is where you literally have no care for yourself or what happens and the other is like an itch telling you to kill yourself. Awful, awful feeling.

Had serious depression since I was about 14, been so long now I don't remember what it was like to actually feel anything :undecided:

Think that would be me right now. Thankfully, don't have the bollocks for it.

I've been severely depressed for around 4 years now, unhappy all my adult life, I've got pretty much every kind of symptom for depression. (including lack of libido. :pilko: :memelol: ) I just don't see the point in seeing a doctor as my life problems will never go away by doing that.

Just need to keep going, it's a matter of whether I'd be able to pick myself up before I finally lose all hope of life.

Your problems won't go away from it, but seeing a doctor may very well help you get to a place where you can deal with them better. That's my experience anyway. Forgive my unsolicited two cents (pence, whatever).

The funny thing is.... my father is a doctor. :lol: :blush: But nah, I wouldn't talk to him about it (he knows I'm f***ed mentally anyway) or to any other doctor. The only person that can help me is actually myself.... and I'm doing something about it everyday. So maybe one day I will be able to get that break that I need.

My relationship with my parents, and siblings, is one aspect of my life that it has severely affected anyway. I hardly talk to them apart from saying hello/how are you and anything necessary.

1. I'm now more experienced having reflected on my life's problems...... therefore I would be better prepared for it should it come back. (Assuming I overcome it!)

2. I'm now an ex-Muslim rather than a Muslim. :memelol: :yao: :dance: :wave: :headbang: :indi: :celb1: :celb: :clap2: Having been and going through all that s***....... it made think about life a bit more and, in turn, rightly so in my opinion, it made me give-up my believe in God/religion and all that s***. It wasn't a knee-jerk decision to simply to stop believing in God/religion just because I'm struggling.... my struggles where simply where my doubts araised..... it's the subsequent investigations, reading, educating, call it what you want, that, for the better, made me stop believing in all that crap. (Silver lining and all of that. :joey: )

Mine first started at age 15, too skinny at school etc. Then my best mate got murdered aged 19, things were ok until after the funeral, then i got my first pa and it hit me like a bolt from the blue. Anyways im 35 now and still suffer frequently, ive probably accepted it now as being the norm, but its frustrates me and im on medication, ive also lost a recent job at rake lane doing IT as part off it. Its horrible and always seems to be a part of my life, im not even sure it will ever leave me. but i live in hope. and i keep is secret from my wife and kids as its too much of a burden.,.

Would you believe - rang his docs and explained. They won't do a home visit, because he is outside Wallsend (staying with us in Fenham) Receptionist said that she would speak to a doc and ring back later, but suggested to ring my docs. Did that and again explained (suicidal thoughts, past problems, etc) and they said they can't really see him as he is not registered there and would need to go up and fill in some forms! Bit hard when he won't get out of bed! Practice manager said she will speak to a doctor about it and try to get someone to ring back later on, after 1130. Said she will also contact his docs to get some background.

Am hoping that someone will come to visit otherwise what the feck do I do? Our lass has had to go to work - I'm hoping that I can send the bairn around to her grandma's for the day.

His doc from Wallsend has been on phone - he couldn't believe that my docs wouldn't send someone out, but it seems that it's now gonna happen. The CAT Team (Mental Health Crisis Team) want someone out asap, given his past history. Just hope that we can get some pro-active help.

CAT team came and they spent 30mins or so talking to him. They are sending another doc tomorrow (one of theirs) to assess him. He's still not eating or drinking (unless he's drinking water from the bathroom tap on the quiet) and he's not talking to me or the Mrs - still hiding under the duvet. This is the 3rd day now. :(

CAT team came and they spent 30mins or so talking to him. They are sending another doc tomorrow (one of theirs) to assess him. He's still not eating or drinking (unless he's drinking water from the bathroom tap on the quiet) and he's not talking to me or the Mrs - still hiding under the duvet. This is the 3rd day now. :(

Might something major have happened to him in the last week or so?Somebody threatened him? etc, sounds like something dramatic might have happened recently that you're not aware off.Just a thought BG.

CAT team doctor has been and said he's not high risk, but will need babysitting for a few more days. She's put him on Diazepam, Citalopram (which I'm on) and also Zopiclone to help him sleep. She said he'd been feeling down for a few days, but this depression just seemed to rise up out of nowhere, last week. They are gonna send someone in to see him over the next few days and also check his bloods. She's also advised him not to hide in the bedroom like he has been doing for the last 4 days, but that might take a bit more time to sort.

I think he is probably glad in a way that he is here, even though he won't talk to us at the moment. CAT team said yesterday that he probably sees this as a safe place, so he's less likely to do something stupid.

Dunno if any of you remember Hyperbole And A Half, blogger most famous for a series of pretty hilarious web comics/blog posts about her mental subnormal dog.

(http://i.imgur.com/AqnyfhK.png)

She went MIA for quite some time and has just returned with a very insightful post/comic about the depression she's been struggling withhttp://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Dunno if any of you remember Hyperbole And A Half, blogger most famous for a series of pretty hilarious web comics/blog posts about her mental subnormal dog.

(http://i.imgur.com/AqnyfhK.png)

She went MIA for quite some time and has just returned with a very insightful post/comic about the depression she's been struggling withhttp://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

f***, you may have stumbled on the way I can express to my wife what it is I'm going through.

I've had a f***ing s*** 6 months.

I'm on anti-depressants now, and I've finally got counselling but only 6 sessions whilst I wait for a space on the charity list.

I'm waiting for CBT.

Worst thing is my wife just doesn't get it.

And she doesn't interact normally with me because I'm not myself. So I feel worse about the situation.

Dunno if any of you remember Hyperbole And A Half, blogger most famous for a series of pretty hilarious web comics/blog posts about her mental subnormal dog.

(http://i.imgur.com/AqnyfhK.png)

She went MIA for quite some time and has just returned with a very insightful post/comic about the depression she's been struggling withhttp://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Dunno if any of you remember Hyperbole And A Half, blogger most famous for a series of pretty hilarious web comics/blog posts about her mental subnormal dog.

(http://i.imgur.com/AqnyfhK.png)

She went MIA for quite some time and has just returned with a very insightful post/comic about the depression she's been struggling withhttp://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Dunno if any of you remember Hyperbole And A Half, blogger most famous for a series of pretty hilarious web comics/blog posts about her mental subnormal dog.

(http://i.imgur.com/AqnyfhK.png)

She went MIA for quite some time and has just returned with a very insightful post/comic about the depression she's been struggling withhttp://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

f***, you may have stumbled on the way I can express to my wife what it is I'm going through.

I've had a f***ing s*** 6 months.

I'm on anti-depressants now, and I've finally got counselling but only 6 sessions whilst I wait for a space on the charity list.

I'm waiting for CBT.

Worst thing is my wife just doesn't get it.

And she doesn't interact normally with me because I'm not myself. So I feel worse about the situation.

It's very hard to explain to people and to get them to understand that you have no interest or desire for the 'normal' things in life like money, socialising, sex and the like. People at work think I'm weird for never having drunk alchol and gay 'cos I don't talk about women in a demeaning way :lol:

This last part will sound like s*** but I find it helps you have a clearer mind with regards to not having your opinions/views clouded by emotions. I get a lot of s*** for being brutally honest with people 'cos I don't sugar coat things at all. I also find it near IMPOSSIBLE to take anything serious, no matter how serious it actually is.

Also I find if you haven't experinced it you won't ever understand it, as close minded as that sounds.

I agree. I don't think people can truly understand unless they've been through it. I have a lot of respect for those that try to though, i can imagine its tough from the other perspective.

I guess i see it like addiction, I ca't understand it, though i've seen it.

I'd add that while I know what Dr Nguyen means, "you won't understand it" is probably not the way to put it, as it can seem totally alien right up until the time it happens to you - and it can happen to anyone.

It's very hard to explain to people and to get them to understand that you have no interest or desire for the 'normal' things in life like money, socialising, sex and the like. People at work think I'm weird for never having drunk alchol and gay 'cos I don't talk about women in a demeaning way :lol:

This last part will sound like s*** but I find it helps you have a clearer mind with regards to not having your opinions/views clouded by emotions. I get a lot of s*** for being brutally honest with people 'cos I don't sugar coat things at all. I also find it near IMPOSSIBLE to take anything serious, no matter how serious it actually is.

Nah fair dues man, I get what your saying totally understandable. I guess it kills most of the enthusiasm for the stuff you described, I firmly believe it can be reversed though, Its a thinking trap that your brain gets stuck in, once that cycle can be broken the brain can be retrained to think differently imo

Also I find if you haven't experinced it you won't ever understand it, as close minded as that sounds.

I agree. I don't think people can truly understand unless they've been through it. I have a lot of respect for those that try to though, i can imagine its tough from the other perspective.

I guess i see it like addiction, I ca't understand it, though i've seen it.

I'd add that while I know what Dr Nguyen means, "you won't understand it" is probably not the way to put it, as it can seem totally alien right up until the time it happens to you - and it can happen to anyone.

Agreed. It's indiscriminate, some of the least likely people I know have had it. Outwardly over confident, full of life etc.

It's very hard to explain to people and to get them to understand that you have no interest or desire for the 'normal' things in life like money, socialising, sex and the like. People at work think I'm weird for never having drunk alchol and gay 'cos I don't talk about women in a demeaning way :lol:

This last part will sound like s*** but I find it helps you have a clearer mind with regards to not having your opinions/views clouded by emotions. I get a lot of s*** for being brutally honest with people 'cos I don't sugar coat things at all. I also find it near IMPOSSIBLE to take anything serious, no matter how serious it actually is.

Aye, definitely. It's all to do with chemical levels in the brain but when you are 'like that' and realise it's all to do with the levels of certain chemicals in your brain (like Serotonin) you start to think 'well that just means everything I feel be it love or hatred is just a chemical reaction in my head' which just makes you feel worse :lol:

It's very hard to explain to people and to get them to understand that you have no interest or desire for the 'normal' things in life like money, socialising, sex and the like. People at work think I'm weird for never having drunk alchol and gay 'cos I don't talk about women in a demeaning way :lol:

This last part will sound like s*** but I find it helps you have a clearer mind with regards to not having your opinions/views clouded by emotions. I get a lot of s*** for being brutally honest with people 'cos I don't sugar coat things at all. I also find it near IMPOSSIBLE to take anything serious, no matter how serious it actually is.

Never tried it either. Just never showed any interest in it whatsoever. In fact, I would say that goes for most drinks, alcoholic or non-alcoholic.

I just drink water. :joey:

Wow, genuinely interesting that. I guess its second nature nature to me, I assumed that at 12/13 everyone was doing the "get p*ssed at the park" thing. we migrated onto drugs after but the alcohol was the start for sure

Very interesting that blog. From what I can tell then I haven't been depressed either. What is quite worrying is that what she is saying kind of reminds me of taking acid, where there is basically a constant loop that you can't emerge from. Luckily with acid it wears off eventually.

Very interesting that blog. From what I can tell then I haven't been depressed either. What is quite worrying is that what she is saying kind of reminds me of taking acid, where there is basically a constant loop that you can't emerge from. Luckily with acid it wears off eventually.

When something grabs your attention on LSD, you just get deeper and deeper into it. That can be really unpleasant if it's something negative, but it's most definitely an intense, colourful, stimulating and often emotional experience.

That blog post was a great read, could relate to all of it. For me she whacks the nail on the head with this bit:

Months oozed by, and I gradually came to accept that maybe enjoyment was not a thing I got to feel anymore. I didn't want anyone to know, though. I was still sort of uncomfortable about how bored and detached I felt around other people, and I was still holding out hope that the whole thing would spontaneously work itself out. As long as I could manage to not alienate anyone, everything might be okay!

However, I could no longer rely on genuine emotion to generate facial expressions, and when you have to spend every social interaction consciously manipulating your face into shapes that are only approximately the right ones, alienating people is inevitable.

Not sure if this is the thread to be posting this in, but it's relevant imo.

I've been having trouble sleeping at night for several years. Anxiety attacks, and just a general feeling of malaise. Long story short, this year it's got worse until recently. I decided to stop yo-yo dieting (thanks to Adam from this forum, and the weight loss thread), decided to stop giving a f*** about my weight fluctuation, and many other facets of my life that were bothering me.

I've been reading a general health and food blog which has really really helped (180degreehealth.com), and I've just come across this great little application that helps me wind down in the evening. Maybe it's been mentioned somewhere on these boards? It's called f.lux. What it basically does is enhance your display colors to adapt your eyes to night time mode, so you don't go to bed with headaches from staring at a bright screen all day. Gives the screen a comfortable hue in the evenings, and it has really helped me fall asleep faster.

Anyone having trouble sleeping at night should try it imo. http://stereopsis.com/flux/ (http://stereopsis.com/flux/)

I actually think the term depression is too lazy a label nowadays. There's a lot of differences between my experiences and what was written about in that blog. Clinically we're both depressed, but the feeling of emptiness for example is something I never experienced.

A lot of experiences I hear about are actually more akin to existential angst brought about by disillusionment with one or more external aspects of someone's life, than clinical depression relating to chemical imbalances.

This sums it up basically https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anomie

"The nineteenth century French pioneer sociologist Émile Durkheim borrowed the word from French philosopher Jean-Marie Guyau and used it in his influential book Suicide (1897), outlining the social (and not individual) causes of suicide, characterized by a rapid change of the standards or values of societies (often erroneously referred to as normlessness),[11] and an associated feeling of alienation and purposelessness. He believed that anomie is common when the surrounding society has undergone significant changes in its economic fortunes, whether for good or for worse and, more generally, when there is a significant discrepancy between the ideological theories and values commonly professed and what was actually achievable in everyday life. This is contrary to previous theories on suicide which generally maintained that suicide was precipitated by negative events in a person's life and their subsequent depression."

This is definitely something which I think applies to our society, especially at the moment.

Posted in here a while ago saying I was gonna go to the doctors but didn't. This morning finally booked myself an appointment and feel better just for talking to someone. Haven't been prescribed anything as my doctor doesn't believe in quick fixes, just been given a number to ring to talk to someone and going back next week to see her again with a form. Gotta mark out of 5 how suicidal I am, how much I struggle to move around and my eating habits.

Guess what I'm tryin to say is, don't suffer in silence. I talked myself out of this loads of times thinking what have I got to be unhappy about. No idea what'll happen with doctors and counselling but its good to know I am doing something to battle this.

Posted in here a while ago saying I was gonna go to the doctors but didn't. This morning finally booked myself an appointment and feel better just for talking to someone. Haven't been prescribed anything as my doctor doesn't believe in quick fixes, just been given a number to ring to talk to someone and going back next week to see her again with a form. Gotta mark out of 5 how suicidal I am, how much I struggle to move around and my eating habits.

Guess what I'm tryin to say is, don't suffer in silence. I talked myself out of this loads of times thinking what have I got to be unhappy about. No idea what'll happen with doctors and counselling but its good to know I am doing something to battle this.

Fair dues man. You've done the hardest bit imo, just got to follow through, and you will. Good luck!

I hadn't seen this thread - and posted this in the 'What mood are you in?' thread - but here it is - if anyone has any advice, it might be better discussed here:

I'm having a bit of a bad time of it here.

I came home for the weekend to see the family and go to the Arsenal match. We were due to go for a family lunch today; me, mam and dad, two sisters and my older sisters baby.

Anyway normal family bickering occurs during the morning and by the time we're ready to go for lunch, my older sister who suffers quite bad depression and mood swings and that was about ready to blow. She went in a strop because she was struggling with a seatbelt - the most trivial thing ever, and without realising, my dad started driving. Anyway my sister took a bad turn, ran up the street screaming. We take the bairn indoors, and my dad goes off for a coffee because he can't deal with this sort of thing.

My big sister has these funny turns around once a month apparently. As I said, bad depression etc, but she avoids her councilor and won't take medication because her and her husband are expecting another kid. Her midwife has already told her the medication is fine during pregnancy but she doesn't care. She can't breathe, she's bright red, crying, and nobody knows what to do.

Eventually it was just me and her and I just tried telling her that nobody was mad at her and that it's all ok. I did, however make the mistake of saying if she calmed down a bit we could go for lunch or whatever. She screamed at me that I shouldn't tell her what to do, took the kid and drove off. She's crying, no idea how she can drive, and my mam's just jumped in a taxi to follow her.

None of us know how to deal with this. She flat out won't seek help. She is afraid that if she tells a professional about it, they'll take the kid off her, which is ridiculous, but there's literally no telling her. My mam and little sister have suffered with depression as well, but not like this, so we're all stumped.

Wor lass has a friend who's like that, but she's bipolar. She's perfectly normal the majority of the time, but once every month or two she can lose it. At the worst of it she has hacked her face with house keys whilst in hysterics, but usually she'll just have a tantrum and fall out with people for a day over nothing, then be all cheery and chatty like nothing happened the next day. She's a lot better these days, but she has checked herself in to institutions a couple of times to get help and I have no idea if she's on meds.Obviously there's a good chance your sister isn't bipolar, but it's the only experience I've had of something which sounds similar to what you posted. Might be worth having a look at the symptoms of bipolar disorder just to rule it out.

Wor lass has a friend who's like that, but she's bipolar. She's perfectly normal the majority of the time, but once every month or two she can lose it. At the worst of it she has hacked her face with house keys whilst in hysterics, but usually she'll just have a tantrum and fall out with people for a day over nothing, then be all cheery and chatty like nothing happened the next day. She's a lot better these days, but she has checked herself in to institutions a couple of times to get help and I have no idea if she's on meds.Obviously there's a good chance your sister isn't bipolar, but it's the only experience I've had of something which sounds similar to what you posted. Might be worth having a look at the symptoms of bipolar disorder just to rule it out.

I've been worried about this.

She was diagnosed with postnatal depression shortly after she had my nephew, and took pills for it for a while, and apparently improved a bit, then about a year later she's stopped taking the medication, gotten a whole lot worse, and refuses to see anybody. Flat out refuses.

It is about once a month it happens. In the last few months I've had my mam on the phone asking me to call her husband to tell him that she's had a turn. She's gone missing on her own for hours. She's punched the car until my other sister got out because she wanted to be on her own. I've only witnessed it twice, I don't live in Newcastle, but my mam says it is about once a month. And yeah, most of the time she's fine. We text eachother a lot, and it's all good. Then bang.

The main thing is she won't seek help, and my family are trying to help but it doesn't work.

I don't know how involuntary commitment works over there, or even if you call it that (temporary inpatient psychiatric without the patient's consent), but sometimes it's the best thing to do. It's often for only a couple of days to make a diagnosis and stabilize behavior. You can be sure she's safe and getting treatment. It might seem extreme, but when people are in a state, not taking meds, and taking off places, it's sometimes the right thing to do.

The main thing is she won't seek help, and my family are trying to help but it doesn't work.

She has to, or it will never get better.

There are lots of examples of people being able to get themselves out of little ruts here and there, but this is definitely chemical and there is only one way to help that and it's medication. It seems like it is getting to the point where the decision has to be taken out of her hands by you guys (her family).

Had no idea it was that bad with your sister Alan, really sorry to hear. You might end up having to force her to go to the doctors but I dunno. When I was mad depressed and went to the doctors it was difficult to talk about it because I felt OK at that moment in time, and it's difficult to articulate how down you were by the time you get an appointment. And that's when I wanted help. It's tricky, obviously the main thing is to keep an eye on her and ensure she knows she has support, which you'll be doing already of course.

About an hour or so after I posted my mam came back and said she was much better, and what had triggered it was that she thought we were all mad at her for being in a strop initially. Nobody was, which I think she now knows, but yeah, I don't know.

She's coming over in the morning with the my nephew so I can spend some time with him before going out for the match. Will see how she is and if she can or wants to talk about it. My mam is going to have the midwife make a home visit during the week so she can talk about the medication she needs to take and be assured that it's safe during pregnancy. My mam bless her, she's handling it all really well, she never ceases to amaze me what she's had to deal with through the years and still be a rock for the family.

I can tell you that one of my good friends is diagnosed bi-polar and depressed and this is what he said in a post on facebook just yesterday: "One of the many problems with my depression is that I get this crazy notion that everyone is mad at me/hates me/disappointed in me/is out to get me. When I'm at my most rational, I know this isn't true. Mostly. (You know some of you are real b******s.) However, emotional disorders and rationality aren't exactly bedside friends."

It sounds pretty close to what your sister is going through. I think it's pretty clear she needs some real help that you guys aren't able to give her.

I've thought about posting in here for a while and I think I finally should.

Bit of background: There is a family history of depression and I can see some of the traits in myself, which worries me. I am not depressed but I still think I should actively try to better myself rather than pretend it will just go away. I am a very caring person, and if anything I care too much and look in to the little details which only leads to bad things.

My experiences have been happening for years, at school I was very socially anxious, and whilst uni was better I have regrets not making the most of it, often telling myself drinking etc is stupid rather than going out. I feel I am getting better that this but its hard to tell so I just have to keep at it I guess.

The real thing that gets to me is my girlfriend (not her personally she's mint :aww:). As I'm very caring I often worry far too much, instead of thinking everything is fine I have times when I think something is wrong which often leads to it being wrong. I have negative thoughts now and then and assume things which have no basis will happen, rather than just letting her go out with her mates etc. I hate myself at these times which doesn't help and it has an impact on us both as the next time I see her some of the thoughts still linger.

Now I'm trying to just take life as it comes and go with it, obviously being caring and having someone you love is a brilliant thing I just need to learn to control it and not let it hinder my or her life. Past few days I've had some massive mood swings and right now I feel quite good as I was able to snap myself out of a negative thought chain. I've got a book called "The Happiness Trap" to read which should give me some tools. I also find I over talk things a lot, and instead of saying OK lets move on from this I start discussing silly details of how we will do it, rather than just letting it go and seeing how things end up.

Obviously this is nothing compared to some of the posts on here but for me its driving me mad. Not having a job and living with my parents don't help but I want to better myself so when I can finally afford to move out I'm the master of my own mind rather than the other way around.

I have had a huge problem with depression and anxiety, leading me to hospital 4 times and minor intervention (of my own wanting) once. The best thing you can do is see a professional, gp first but if worse and you really feel like you cant cope ring for help. There are many excellent people trained to help.

The best thing that ever happened to me in a weird was was having a breakdown and calling for help. Been feeling good majority of the time for the last year or so. I have bad days and spells but usually can put that down to drinking or gambling or some other self inflicted fail!

This is a good article to read http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2000/sep/10/features.magazine37

I would advise going to your GP, I put off going to mine for ages. I wouldn't have thought of myself as being depressed in that I didn't feel too bad most of the time, I was generally happy with the way things were going. Like you said though I found myself getting into negative thought patterns and mild anxiety attacks so I started to get a little worried, and because people in my family had a history of depression I decided to go to my GP.

I felt like an idiot at first explaining how I was feeling but my doctor put me at ease. It's about 4 months down the line now on a fairly low dosage SSRI with occasional visits to my GP to talk about how i'm getting on and I feel so so much better.

This is a good article to read http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2000/sep/10/features.magazine37

Crikey, that is an excellent article.

This bit in particular sounds almost word for word like my previous issues.

Quote

Ian Ewart, 37, suffered a breakdown last year. He now sees work-related stress as the catalyst. 'Increasingly, I couldn't cope with the pressure. Twelve months to a year before the breakdown, I was having symptoms. I started getting tired, when before I wasn't, unable to deal with stresses that I used to. At that stage, it was a very physical thing that attacked my immune system. I got colds that lingered and lingered and IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I was always tired. Depressive tiredness is different - you can't cure it through sleep, so you wake up more tired than when you went to bed.

'Then I started having panic attacks. I couldn't go into shops because I couldn't stand fluorescent lights or the other people wandering around supermarkets. Getting to work became a nightmare - I couldn't get on the Tube. I felt so run-down I wasn't able to cope with even the basics. I became agoraphobic and more panicky. This is the stage where you should seek help, but I didn't.'

Eventually Ewart did go and see his doctor, who told him to take time off work. 'I took two weeks off and just lay in bed. After the two weeks, I still felt bloody awful, but I went back to work and by Monday afternoon I knew it hadn't worked; I was completely unable to handle anything and I had very strange feelings of unreality. I was looking at the office as though I wasn't part of it; I was panicky, shaky and absolutely full of anxiety.'

David Bell says that anxiety is central to all breakdown experiences - 'anxiety that has become unmanageable. When you feel anxiety mixed with depression, the result is often terrible vulnerability - people describe being in a room and feeling that others can see right through them. In fact, their boundaries have gone. The ordinary boundaries that keep them functioning.'

Step-son has head something of a relapse over the past few days. Silly bugger stopped taking his meds a couple of weeks ago, then went on a bender on Tuesday night and ended up self-harming again on Weds night. Had another go at his wrist (to relieve stress) so he called it - our lass had to go to the RVI with him and sat in A&£ for a 4hrs. Anyhoo - went to the docs with him on Thurs - she has put him on some new meds (Loferpromine) and has chased up his Talking Therapy treatment. Things had reached an em-passe as the therapist didn't feel experienced enough to help him, so whilst they found someone else - his appointments were stopped. We have also been back in touch with the CAT team, as the doc seemed to think it was quite a serious relapse.

Anyway - he's kinda back living with us - had been living over at his own place in Kenton, for a few months. I hope we can get him sorted, but I think I may have to miss the family holiday to Scotland (due to go three weeks today) inorder to keep an eye on him. Wife and bairn are due to go away with the in-laws so that's a major part of his support network gone for a week. I'd feel happier to keep an eye on him, rather than go away and see our lass fretting about him for the whole week. I think it's too soon to leave him on his own, after the latest relapse.

I hope things work out BG. I lost one of my closest friends to depression a few years back (he's just a shadow of his former self) so I know it's not about wishing you luck. It's a long hard road and he'll need all your strength and willpower.

I don't think what he did on Weds was an attempt to take his life, probably just more a cry for help. Told the doc that he still has suicidal thoughts most days, but wouldn't act upon them. As you say, stuff like this is always gonna be a constant battle but he will get there (better) in the end.

Been thinking in recent weeks to finally give-up any natural way in getting my "normal" mental state back and just start using anti-depressants or anything similar. Never really wanted to use them before due to its side effects..... mainly the weight gain.

Certainly feeling a bout of it right now. Trying to make sense of that which makes no sense. I really want to finish my film, particularly to honor my deceased buddy who was also a producer, but so much of it is in other peoples' hands now. To make matters worse is the problem of getting an invalid loved one out of Egypt. But feeling sorry for myself is doing nothing but pissing me off.

Ok been contemplating posting again but never had the energy to, so here goes.

Past few weeks I've felt pretty low, my life is going no where and my girlfriend is off to uni (only Newcastle so its not that bad). I'm stuck looking for jobs, festering away at home with no money to move out and live with my mates. Its hard to describe exactly how I feel as my mood ranges from angry to sad to anxious all the time, and I just have little enjoyment in what I'm doing, even playing GTA 5 my mind kept wandering wondering about other things. Right now I'm taking all my anxiety and s*** mood out on my girlfriend which is just making everything worse, I have no idea what my mind will do come freshers week, next week, as its constantly thinking of bad things that could happen.

I've had some phone counselling sessions where they have given me some ways to challenge my worries, but I find that this is impossible when you hear something and it just pops up in your head. I also massively over think everything which doesn't help one bit, always questioning why people would do this or that.

I'll give you an example or my mindset right now and see what you think I should do. my GF is on preseason with the ladies hockey before freshers week, they had a night out the other night, plenty of drinks having a good time, then when they got in to town the mens hockey section showed up and were making the freshers (my gf and another lass), do drinking games. They made her get on her knees and drink vodka from a bottle one guy was pouring. This made me uncomfortable as the sexual undertones and people telling her what to do, now she just went with it and it was fine and I know that its just people having a laugh, but I need to find a way to not get worked up by it all.

The stuff the counsellor has given me kind of helps after the event but at the time I can't help getting worked up, and having all sorts of thought fill my mind. I'm hoping over time I'll be able to control it but right now I'm considering some medication to help to through and get me some motivation to get on with my own life.

I'm working with my gf but I can see her snapping if I keep getting annoyed by every little thing, and keep taking my issues out on her, rather than finding a way to sort them.

Right now just anything, I'm thinking of doing a PGCE in Primary next year so I'm sorting out some volunteering stuff for that, then just some part time work in between. Mainly bar work where I can be social meet new people etc, and build my confidence a bit.

I play hockey every weekend and used to gym 3 times a week, though we're having the house decorated so I haven't been able to leave to gym for past week and a bit.

Live just outside bedlington but most of my friends live in Newcastle so going out and seeing people takes way too much planning.

Right now just anything, I'm thinking of doing a PGCE in Primary next year so I'm sorting out some volunteering stuff for that, then just some part time work in between. Mainly bar work where I can be social meet new people etc, and build my confidence a bit.

I play hockey every weekend and used to gym 3 times a week, though we're having the house decorated so I haven't been able to leave to gym for past week and a bit.

Live just outside bedlington but most of my friends live in Newcastle so going out and seeing people takes way too much planning.

sounds like you have plenty going on tbh. always think people are better off if they have enough to do each day that they are challenged and stressed a little bit, ie keeping thier mind occupied.

Honestly doesn't feel like it tbh. I know having stuff to do occupies your mind, and you should focus on the task at hand but I really have trouble doing that. My mind wanders in to worries far too much.

I've written down the things that I think are bothering me and I'm starting to challenge them so I'll see if that helps. I'm wound up far too tight at the moment so just need to allow myself to relax a bit.

I honestly think it's normal to be a little bit bothered about the vodka thing with your gf. Sounds like you have a plan though to start your PGCE which I'm sure will keep you busy, help meet new people and generally make you feel better about life.

PGCE doesn't start until next September though, so its between now and then, that I have to fill in. My mood is really up and down, I feel so much better compared to my first post an hour or so ago, it just makes no sense. The vodka thing would bother most people but they would just laugh it off and not over think every little bit about it.

Think I've been the closest to understanding what depression is like recently, after breaking up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago. Just wondering about what the hell I'm doing with life all the time, not really enjoying anything that much, putting on a brave face with people, getting spells of proper sadness etc. I thought I would be relieved when we split up but actually "should we break up" has just been replaced by "did I do the right thing", so it hasn't helped at all.

I've sailed through life in general until now, never missed anyone or worried about very much. But I've been really stressed out for long periods recently, missing Newcastle, realising how much time I've spent away from my family and friends etc.

It's not really depression I don't think, but I haven't been keeping myself busy enough at all and I haven't been planning things to look forward to. Trying to push out of it now, but it's not easy.

Depression is awful, the guilt you feel from it is probably just as bad. Anyone who says s*** like chin up and just get on with it deserve a slap.

It's a mind set I had quite ignorantly many years ago, but then watched my sister go through it and my wife in pretty severe ways, it did go a lot deeper than depression. If it was that easy to just "chin up" my wife would be a very well person. Sometimes she does try lifting herself but she just can't will herself. There is an element of making things easier for themselves, trying to have a positive attitude in my opinion will make difficult days easier but to expect them just to sort themselves out by having a positive attitude is ignorant to say the least.

Having mental illness and trying to struggle on pretending you don't through fear of what might happen otherwise is one of the hardest things someone can go through imo.

The world would be a much easier place for a lot of people if there was more understanding about things like depression and anxiety. There is still far too much of a "man up" or "stop feeling sorry for yourself" attitude.

Unfortunately there will always be those who just want attention and will try to jump on the coattails of those who genuinely suffer.

I hate the term "mental illness" and its connotation of mental defect. Although the literal meaning of the term may be largely accurate, it's tainted in a way that "physical" illnesses aren't. There seems to be a value judgment that if someone has a mental illness, there is something "wrong" with them, which isn't the case with physical illnesses. At a guess, this is probably due to what I think is a fairly artificial distinction between mind and body and the perceived intangible nature of mental processes. Whatever the cause, the term mental illness now implies a measure of personal f***ed-uppedness that would never be associated physical illness.

I hate the term "mental illness" and its connotation of mental defect. Although the literal meaning of the term may be largely accurate, it's tainted in a way that "physical" illnesses aren't. There seems to be a value judgment that if someone has a mental illness, there is something "wrong" with them, which isn't the case with physical illnesses. At a guess, this is probably due to what I think is a fairly artificial distinction between mind and body and the perceived intangible nature of mental processes. Whatever the cause, the term mental illness now implies a measure of personal f***ed-uppedness that would never be associated physical illness.

I agree and disagree with that in the fact that people seem to dismiss a mental health problem as not on the same level as a physical illness therefore stigmatising it. I can see your point though

Been contemplating posting here for a bit but think now is the right time. Broke up with my girlfriend of two years, two weeks ago and since then its been utterly s***. She'll say one thing then say another and I had no idea whether she wanted me or not. I've now drawn the line and cut contact for the foreseeable future, which wasnt easy to do but probably for the best and if she comes back she does if not then I have to get on with my life.

My big problem is social confidence. In groups with friends even talking to big groups (public speaking etc) I'm perfectly happy to do it, but approaching random people on a night out to talk I just cant do. Its not as if I go to do it and want to be sick etc, I simply feel like I can't. I think this is down to not knowing what to say and not having to do it for the past two years, but for whatever reason I can never find the right time or place to finally start it.

I know confidence is a key thing is life and love, and whatever happens with the ex I know I need to build my own confidence and just try it and see, though I know if I was to go out tonight I'd probably freeze again. Its very annoying to me as I know it was a big thing to her, that blokes talk to her all the time when she is out and I never went to talk to random women when I was out with my mates. So its the one thing I want to do over the coming weeks, not for her but to improve myself and help lift my mood.

I feel better for typing this already and I don't really know what kind of response I'm hoping for other than, just try it and see, though I'm sure as many of you are aware that is far more difficult than it sounds. So any ideas or personal experiences would be great.

I know I'd be in the vast minority and I dont expect to be able to crack on with anyone I meet, its more just clearing the mental hurdle in my mind that I can go talk to the fit bird at the bar etc and it doesn't matter if it works or not.

Stepmother has been struggling badly with depression since her dad died not long ago (she's had problems in the past so this has brought a relapse on). She's gone to stay with one of my stepsisters for a while, leaving my dad home alone where all he will do is drink and mope about as he has ongoing problems with alcohol and now feels abandoned. :( I wish she'd at least left the dog with him for some company, but she's taken him with her.

Can't really add much to this thread other than I've been massively depressed at least once in recent years (over a family death) and if I'm honest probably a couple of other times that I haven't really accounted for recently.In fact, I kind of suspect I'm depressed right now but I'm doing my level best to try and convince myself otherwise.It's hugely difficult to lift yourself when you're down, if you've never suffered from it, it's probably very hard to empathise, but the weight can be enormous at times.

Adam, your issue seems very normal to me, randomly chatting to strangers (especially if you feel it's something you feel you should do) can be quite pressured. I wouldn't go stressing yourself too much about it (if you can)The only suggestion I can offer (and it's not much) is maybe try a short course in something that interests you, where naturally strangers will be present, wine tasting or the like.Under that environment it will be slightly easier and might help you to overcome the initial barrier.But certainly randomly doing it, is far from easy.

Been contemplating posting here for a bit but think now is the right time. Broke up with my girlfriend of two years, two weeks ago and since then its been utterly s***. She'll say one thing then say another and I had no idea whether she wanted me or not. I've now drawn the line and cut contact for the foreseeable future, which wasnt easy to do but probably for the best and if she comes back she does if not then I have to get on with my life.

My big problem is social confidence. In groups with friends even talking to big groups (public speaking etc) I'm perfectly happy to do it, but approaching random people on a night out to talk I just cant do. Its not as if I go to do it and want to be sick etc, I simply feel like I can't. I think this is down to not knowing what to say and not having to do it for the past two years, but for whatever reason I can never find the right time or place to finally start it.

I know confidence is a key thing is life and love, and whatever happens with the ex I know I need to build my own confidence and just try it and see, though I know if I was to go out tonight I'd probably freeze again. Its very annoying to me as I know it was a big thing to her, that blokes talk to her all the time when she is out and I never went to talk to random women when I was out with my mates. So its the one thing I want to do over the coming weeks, not for her but to improve myself and help lift my mood.

I feel better for typing this already and I don't really know what kind of response I'm hoping for other than, just try it and see, though I'm sure as many of you are aware that is far more difficult than it sounds. So any ideas or personal experiences would be great.

Adam

Perfectly normal man, wouldn't let it get you down at all. My approach has Always been the same, play it cocky funny and 90% of the time it will work out. And even you get pied, f*** it. If you've been funny/jokey most of the interaction then you won't look bad. Just tread the border between joking /insulting and you'll be sound. Oh and no buying them drinks if they ask.

Just my opinion of course but it's just a case of giving it a go, you'll be totally sound man, once you get over the initial fear of an interaction with a random girl.

For strangers in general man just be yourself if they don't like it, f*** it. I know it's not that easy but yeah it's a normal way to feel IMO

There aren't many people who are able to do that. I think it is uncomfortable for the majority. If you aren't able to do it then don't pressure yourself. That will only make you more self conscious about it. Just take it easy, enjoy going out with mates and eventually something will crop up. I'd really struggle if I split up with my missus. I used to be very cocky and confident with people, almost bordering on arrogant, but it was all a front and over time that has been eroded and I've had real problems with my own opinion of myself.

Just enjoy the fact you have some freedom, go out and do what you want to do without feeling guilty.

Look on the bright side though, you've got the World Series to look forward to. Some of us don't even have sporting success to keep us going.

Cheers for the replies, really means a lot. I think part of the issue was the ex as she would get talked to and think its must be so easy, never really saw her initiating conversations. I don't think I care what others think then at the same time I usually think I'm too skinny, have a crap haircut etc so these things hold me back.

Like has been said now is a sort of fresh leaf and I can just try stuff see if being really forward works or if being a not more stand off is better, I've got nothing to lose in reality.

My other problem is being too nice and trying to fix other peoples problems, so I'm going to stop giving advice and see what happens on that side of things.

Break ups always suck but I need to do stuff for me for the meantime and if its meant to be it will happen in the future, if not I'll be a stronger person for it.

They took just listening to the limit imo. Moaning about stuff for an hour was cathartic and sort of helped with setting goals, but it wore off quickly and did nothing for my mood and general pessimism.

Cheers for the replies, really means a lot. I think part of the issue was the ex as she would get talked to and think its must be so easy, never really saw her initiating conversations. I don't think I care what others think then at the same time I usually think I'm too skinny, have a crap haircut etc so these things hold me back.

Like has been said now is a sort of fresh leaf and I can just try stuff see if being really forward works or if being a not more stand off is better, I've got nothing to lose in reality.

My other problem is being too nice and trying to fix other peoples problems, so I'm going to stop giving advice and see what happens on that side of things.

Break ups always suck but I need to do stuff for me for the meantime and if its meant to be it will happen in the future, if not I'll be a stronger person for it.

I remember your pic on here, you'll have no problem interesting the ladies :naughty:

Adam^ its sounds like you're a tad awkward socially and not actually socially inept. Don't worry, the vast majority of us are socially awkward, women more than men I find. Its a cliche but just be yourself when out and about with people. You might not be to everyone's taste but so what, at least you'll be you and nothing false. Most people prefer to interact with those that aren't full of themselves or false. Genuine people. Lastly you're coming off the back of a broken relationship, that's not easy and it can take ages to get going again.

Cheers for the replies, really means a lot. I think part of the issue was the ex as she would get talked to and think its must be so easy, never really saw her initiating conversations. I don't think I care what others think then at the same time I usually think I'm too skinny, have a crap haircut etc so these things hold me back.

Like has been said now is a sort of fresh leaf and I can just try stuff see if being really forward works or if being a not more stand off is better, I've got nothing to lose in reality.

My other problem is being too nice and trying to fix other peoples problems, so I'm going to stop giving advice and see what happens on that side of things.

Break ups always suck but I need to do stuff for me for the meantime and if its meant to be it will happen in the future, if not I'll be a stronger person for it.

Starting at the gym was one of the best things I've done for my confidence.. I was always pretty skinny and just generally didn't feel great about myself but 2 years later I've put a good amount of muscle on and I just feel much better in general. But even now it would have to take pretty exceptional circumstances for me to approach a stranger, even under the influence

I'm still physically active, but the worry and stress of the past few months has lead to me losing a load of weight and being tired all the time. I've got some goals about the gym and my weight so I know that will be a slow process, but I'll get there eventually. I'm not expecting to go and talk to every random I meet just to get over the initial fear of doing then from there I'll see what happens.

The stuff with my ex hasn't helped as part of me feels I need to prove to her I can do it, yet at the same time I'm not overly bothered about doing it, so time will tell though I guess there is no harm in trying as long as I don't put too much pressure on myself.

My home life couldnt be more stable. I have a decently paid job, own my house, have a great lass (dont tell her that), and have a beautiful 8 month old boy. However, about 18 months ago I started having bouts of anxiety and breaking down down in floods of tears. I don't blame anything for this but there were triggers for this, often the stresses of work combined with early starts. I decided to see the doctor, but long story short the referral system in place failed. So like any typical bloke I shrugged my shoulders and got on with it.

I got through 9 months looking forward to the birth of my son. However, the stresses of having a newborn got to me and the episodes returned this year. After some bad times I decided to back to the doctors, who prescribed me anti-depressants. These have turned things around for me in the last couple of months, I have far more settled emotions and generally a more relaxed attitude.

At the lowest point I thought about suicide, I dont think I could ever have gone through with it, I wouldnt have the bottle, which I felt guilty about during the bad times. So my advice to anyone experiencing that lonely corner, is to seek professional help. I havent told my family and im not sure I will, I just don t have the heart.

Just a quick update, went out last night with a mate. Talked some utter s*** to some uni birds and realised I can do it without having to worry about and just go with it a bit more. Obviously the breakup with the ex is still having an impact on my mood, especially as we both still care about each other and personally I feel we should stop this silly game and get back together but, we both need some time and space to see how we feel. I just hate the waiting and not having her in my life!

I do feel better now, and I didnt even have to force myself to do it just cracked on when I was able to and didn't try to push anything. I think the biggest thing I've realised I can allow myself to be happy and just enjoy what is happening there and then rather than thinking how it could be better etc.

So I'm not as fussed about the big issue as I was, still things I would like to sort, but time will take care of that and in the mean time I need to just keep on with my own stuff and see what the future holds.

Fella, every encounter with a woman is not the difference between finding your soul mate, having loads of kids and living happily ever after, or being a lonesome hermit, who stinks of BO, for the rest of your days.

Coming off my tablets now after about a year on them at the moment and I feel great. They helped me out massively when I was in a pretty shitty place this time last year and they gave me the room to sort myself out and work out the problems that I had. So glad that I went to the GP to get everything sorted, doing far better at uni/life/work than i'd have been doing otherwise.

Getting to that horrible place again and it's all work-related. Can't sleep. Yesterday I woke up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep, I just pottered about for a few hours then got to my desk by 8am and had another 11 hours of ridiculous stress and anguish. Today it's 2am, no idea how to get to sleep when I'm this stressed out and unhappy. Feel like I'm on the verge of taking someone's head off their shoulders at work unless I'm left alone. Too much bullshit in there, day after day, for 15 months and I've reached the point of no return now. Just hoping I can get to the end of the week without flipping a lid and getting fired. Sorted my CV out last night so will start looking. At the minute I just feel stressed, anxious, sad and cynical about the world. Really need to sort something out for my own sanity. Not happy it's got to this stage again but feel like I've shown a fair amount of strength to put up with what I have, which has been the opinion of doctors and friends/family when I've asked.

Getting to that horrible place again and it's all work-related. Can't sleep. Yesterday I woke up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep, I just pottered about for a few hours then got to my desk by 8am and had another 11 hours of ridiculous stress and anguish. Today it's 2am, no idea how to get to sleep when I'm this stressed out and unhappy. Feel like I'm on the verge of taking someone's head off their shoulders at work unless I'm left alone. Too much bullshit in there, day after day, for 15 months and I've reached the point of no return now. Just hoping I can get to the end of the week without flipping a lid and getting fired. Sorted my CV out last night so will start looking. At the minute I just feel stressed, anxious, sad and cynical about the world. Really need to sort something out for my own sanity. Not happy it's got to this stage again but feel like I've shown a fair amount of strength to put up with what I have, which has been the opinion of doctors and friends/family when I've asked.

One thing that helped me massively is meditation/breathing exercises.

Breath in for 8 seconds, hold for 8 seconds, release for 8 seconds.

Repeat 6 times.

Do this in the morning before work and in the night before you sleep. Do it systematically as if it were prescribed by a GP :)

Also, treat sleep with respect. Prepare for sleep, get to bed a good hour before you need to 'sleep' and read a history book or something like that.

Getting to that horrible place again and it's all work-related. Can't sleep. Yesterday I woke up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep, I just pottered about for a few hours then got to my desk by 8am and had another 11 hours of ridiculous stress and anguish. Today it's 2am, no idea how to get to sleep when I'm this stressed out and unhappy. Feel like I'm on the verge of taking someone's head off their shoulders at work unless I'm left alone. Too much bullshit in there, day after day, for 15 months and I've reached the point of no return now. Just hoping I can get to the end of the week without flipping a lid and getting fired. Sorted my CV out last night so will start looking. At the minute I just feel stressed, anxious, sad and cynical about the world. Really need to sort something out for my own sanity. Not happy it's got to this stage again but feel like I've shown a fair amount of strength to put up with what I have, which has been the opinion of doctors and friends/family when I've asked.

Have you ever been prescribed any sleeping pills man? Can be really useful IMO as a short term fix. Getting a decent nights sleep gives you at least more of chance to deal with it better

had a spell within the last year, not depression but struggling to cope with things on my mind (family related). long country and coast walks really helped. physically tired as opposed to stress tired helped me sleep much better, always better aswell if you can stop thinking about the issue aswell, just for a bit, escape it for a while as opposed to denial.

I had real depression/anxiety problems when I was younger and they've popped up now and again since then. However my threshold before I feel that way has increased so much now, I've basically cracked it short of being under a ridiculous amount of pressure at work. I can deal with a high amount of pressure now but not the way it's built up recently. The place is a madhouse and most of the stuff you get involved in is doomed to failure then getting told off by clients then apologising until the next disaster which is never far away.

Re sleeping pills I got them once when I was 18 and they did the trick but I really don't think I need them anymore, it's just been a few nights sleep this week in fairly extraordinary circumstances. Saying that, I have had a habit of just getting trollied as a solution when things get too much recently, in which case sleeping is obviously not much of an issue. Clearly not ideal, but what can you say.

I've sorted my CV now though and will look at other options. Headphones in and not speaking to anyone today.

They sound interesting, will have a look into it. Cheers man. It's a source of constant tiredness, it's a total ballache. I could go to sleep at 9pm, wake up at 5.30am for work and be as tired as if I went off at 11pm or 12am.

Feeling a lot better right now, work has helped massively and its only been two days. Couple that with moving out with some mates in a few weeks things are looking up. Still hurting about the break up and whats happened since but it will pass with time, and at least it shows I'm alive and not a total t***. I'm so much further on that I was only a few days ago, and now have no intention of going to the doctors for any meds etc as I simply dont need them. I think the key thing isn't keeping busy, its keeping busy with a purpose. Go to the gym/swim/etc but have a purpose that you want to get fitter and really want it, then you can drive yourself and push past anything else. Obviously its easier said than done but I've found reframing things I've been doing and giving them a purpose even if its just "I like doing this" or "I'll help x and y by doing this" it makes everything so much better.

It sounds really simple and you might not think it'd make any difference, but one thing I have found improves my sleep hugely is ear plugs. Not shitty foam ones, either, the gel ones that you sort of shape into your ear.

I went through a spell of waking up every couple of hours or so. I didn't think it was due to ambient noise (it's deathly quiet where we live, anyway), but the ear plugs have honestly made a big difference, ie I wake up far less often.

Feeling a lot better right now, work has helped massively and its only been two days. Couple that with moving out with some mates in a few weeks things are looking up. Still hurting about the break up and whats happened since but it will pass with time, and at least it shows I'm alive and not a total t***. I'm so much further on that I was only a few days ago, and now have no intention of going to the doctors for any meds etc as I simply dont need them. I think the key thing isn't keeping busy, its keeping busy with a purpose. Go to the gym/swim/etc but have a purpose that you want to get fitter and really want it, then you can drive yourself and push past anything else. Obviously its easier said than done but I've found reframing things I've been doing and giving them a purpose even if its just "I like doing this" or "I'll help x and y by doing this" it makes everything so much better.

Sounds like me. I focussed on getting fit and optimising other elements of my life and it really helped. Hope you keep feeling better, there'll be ups and downs, obviously, but none quite as bad as the last.

I still remember the moment well. It was a wet, cold, grey Friday morning. I rose out of bed having had no sleep the night before. Panic attacks are horrific experiences by day, by night they are even worse.

As I drove to work on my trusted Honda 50, a group of my friends passed in their car heading to college. They all smiled and waved and looked so happy. I smiled and waved and acted happy.

I had loved and excelled in school but it was the same with my hurling, it was the same with my friends, it was the same with my family, it was the same with the people of Cloyne, it was the same with life, I had lost interest in all of them. Losing interest in people was the worst.

Where once I would have felt sadness at seeing my friends heading to where I had always wanted to go, I now didn’t. Something much larger, deeper, darker had taken hold of my mind and sadness, despair, hopelessness were not strong enough to survive alongside what I was feeling.

They say something has to crack to allow the light in. At about 11am that morning, I finally cracked. I couldn’t do it anymore, all my strength at keeping up my pretence had gone. I curled up in the corner of the building and began to cry. One of the lads working with me came over and he didn’t know what to do. I asked him to take me home.

The GP called to my house and prescribed some sleeping pills and arranged for me to be sent to the hospital for some tests.

I spent a week there and they done every test imaginable. Physically, I was in perfect health. I was diagnosed with suffering from ‘Depression’ or in laymans terms, that awful phrase ‘of suffering with his nerves’. I had never heard of the word before.

I was sent to see a psychiatrist in my local day care hospital. I was 19 years of age in a waiting room surrounded by people much older than I was. Surely I am not the only young person suffering from depression, I thought to myself. There was a vacant look in all of their eyes, a hollowness, an emptiness, the feeling of darkness pervaded the room.

The psychiatrist explained that there might be a chemical imbalance in my brain, asked me my symptoms and prescribed a mixture of anti depressants, anxiety and sleeping pills based on what I told him. He explained that it would take time to get the right cocktail of tablets for my type of depression.

I had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing. Something deep inside in me told me this wasn’t the way forward and this wasn’t what I needed. As I walked out a group of people in another room with intellectual disabilities were doing various things. One man had a teaching device in front of him and he was trying to put a square piece into a round hole. It summed up perfectly what I felt had just happened to me.

I now stayed in my room all day, only leaving it to go to the bathroom. I locked the door and it was only opened to allow my mother bring me some food. I didn’t want to speak to anybody. The only time I left the house was on a Thursday morning to visit the psychiatrist. When everbody had left to go to work and school, my Mother would bring me my breakfast.

I cried nearly all the time. Sometimes she would sit there and cry with me, other times talk with me and hold my hand, tell me that she would do anything to help me get better, other times just sit there quietly whilst I ate the food.

Depression is difficult to explain to people. If you have experienced it there is no need, if you haven’t, I don’t think there are words adequate to describe its horror. I have had a lot of injuries playing hurling, snapped cruciates, broken bones in my hands 11 times, had my lips sliced in half and all my upper teeth blown out with a dirty pull but none of them come anywhere near the physical pain and mental torture of depression.

It permeates every part of your being, from your head to your toes. It is never ending, waves and waves of utter despair and hopelessness and fear and darkness flood throughout your whole body. You crave for peace but even sleep doesn’t afford that. It wrecks your dreams and turns your days into a living nightmare. It destroys your personality, your relationship with your family and friends, your work, your sporting life, it affects them all. Your ability to give and receive affection is gone. You tear at your skin and your hair with frustration. You cut yourself to give some form of physical expression to the incredible pain you feel.

You want to grab it and smash it, but you can’t get a hold of it. You go to sleep hoping, praying not to wake up. You rack your brain seeing is there something you done in your life that justifies this suffering. You wonder why God is not answering your pleas for relief and you wonder is he there at all or has he forgotten about you. And through it all remains the darkness. It’s as if someone placed a veil over your soul and never returned to remove it. This endless, black, never ending tunnel of darkness.

I had been five months in my room now. I had watched the summer turn into the autumn and then to Winter through my bedroom window. One of the most difficult things was watching my teammates parade through the town after winning the U21 championship through it. That was the real world out there.

In here in my room was a living hell. I was now on about 18 tablets a day and not getting better but worse. I was eating very little but the medication was ballooning my weight to nearly twenty stone. I was sent to see another psychiatrist and another doctor who suggested electric shock therapy which I flatly refused. It was obvious to me I was never going to get better. My desire for death was now much stronger than my desire for living so I made a decision.

I had been contemplating suicide for a while now and when I finally decided and planned it out, a strange thing happened. A peace that I hadn’t experienced for a long time entered my mind and body. For the first time in years, I could get a good night’s sleep. It was as if my body realized that this pain it was going through was about to end and it went into relax mode. I had the rope hidden in my room. I knew there was a game on a Saturday evening and that my father and the lads would be gone to that.

After my Mother and sister would be gone to Mass, I would drive to the location and hang myself. I didn’t feel any anxiety about it. It would solve everything, I thought. No more pain, both for me and my family. They were suffering as well as I was and I felt with me gone, it would make life easier for them. How wrong I would have been. I have seen the effects and damage suicide has on families. It is far,far greater than anything endured while living and helping a person with depression.

For some reason my Mother never went to Mass. I don’t know why but she didn’t go. It was a decision on her part that saved my life.

The following week, a family that I had worked for when I was younger heard about me being unwell. They rang my Mother and told them that they knew a clinical psychologist working in a private practice that they felt could help me.

I had built up my hopes too many times over the last number of months that a new doctor, a new tablet, a new treatment was going to help and had them dashed when he or it failed to help me. I wasn’t going through it again. My mother pleaded to give him a try and eventually I agreed. It was a decision on my part that would save my life.

After meeting Tony, I instantly knew this was what I had been searching for. It was the complete opposite of what I felt when I was being prescribed tablets and electric shock therapy. We sat opposite each other in a converted cottage at the side of his house with a fire lighting in the corner. He looked at me with his warm eyes and said ‘I hear you haven’t been too well. How are you feeling’. It wasn’t even the question, it was the way he asked it.

I looked at him for about a minute or so and I began to cry. When the tears stopped, I talked and he listened intently. Driving home with my mother that night, I cried again but it wasn’t tears of sadness, it was tears of joy. I knew that evening I was going to better. There was finally a chink of light in the darkness.

Therapy is a challenging experience. It’s not easy baring your soul. When you sit in front of another human being and discuss things you have never discussed with anyone, it can be quite scary. Paulo Coelho says in one of his books that ‘A man is at his strongest when he is willing to be vulnerable’.

Sadly, society conditions men to be the opposite and views vulnerability as a weakness. For therapy to work, a person has to be willing to be vulnerable. Within a week, I was off all medication. For me, medication was never the answer. My path back to health was one of making progress, then slipping and making progress again. It was far from straightforward.

I had to face up to memories I had buried from being bullied quite a lot when I was a young kid. Some of it occurred in primary school, others in secondary. It was raw and emotional re-visiting those times but it had to be done.

A lot of my identity was tied up with hurling and it was an un-healthy relationship. The ironic thing is that as I began to live my life more from the inside out and appreciate and value myself for being me and not needing hurling for my self esteem, I loved the game more than ever. I got myself super fit and my weight down to 13 and a half stone.

I made the Cloyne Senior team and went on to play with the Cork Senior hurling team, making a cameo appearance in the final of 2006. It is still one of the biggest joys of my life playing hurling with Cloyne, despite losing three County finals and an All-Ireland with Cork. Being involved with the Cloyne team was a huge aid in my recovery and my teammates gave me great support during that time.

I went back to serve my time as an electrician. I went to college by night and re-discovered my joy of learning. I work for a great company and have a good life now. I finished therapy in 2004. I have not had a panic attack in that time and have not missed a day’s work because of depression since then.

I came to realise that depression was not my enemy but my friend. I don’t say this lightly. I know the damage it does to people and the lives it has wrecked and is wrecking so I am only talking for myself. How can you say something that nearly killed you was your friend? The best coaches I have ever dealt with are those that tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. You mightn’t like it at the time but after or maybe years later, you know they were right.

I believe depression is a message from a part of your being to tell you something in your life isn’t right and you need to look at it. It forced me to stop and seek within for answers and that is where they are. It encouraged me to look at my inner life and free myself from the things that were preventing me from expressing my full being. The poet David Whyte says ‘the soul would much rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone else’s’.

This is an ongoing process. I am still far from living a fully, authentic life but I am very comfortable now in my own skin. Once or twice a year, especially when I fall into old habits, my ‘friend’ pays me a visit. I don’t push him away or ignore him. I sit with him in a chair in a quiet room and allow him to come. I sit with the feeling. Sometimes I cry, other times I smile at how accurate his message is. He might stay for an hour, he might stay for a day. He gives his message and moves on.

He reminds me to stay true to myself and keep in touch with my real self. A popular quote from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu is ‘a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step’. A correct translation of the original Chinese though is ‘a journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one’s feet’. Lao Tzu believed that action was something that arose naturally from stillness. When you can sit and be with yourself, it is a wonderful gift and real and authentic action flows from it.

Many, many people are living lives of quiet misery. I get calls from people on the phone and to my house because people in my area will know my story. Sometimes it is for themselves, other times it is asking if I would talk to another person. I’m not a doctor or a therapist and anyone I talk to in distress, I always encourage them to go to both but people find it easier at first to talk to someone who has been in their shoes. It is incredible the amount of people it affects. Depression affects all types of people, young and old, working and not working, wealthy and poor.

For those people who are currently gripped by depression, either experiencing it or are supporting or living with someone with it, I hope my story helps. There is no situation that is without hope, there is no person that can’t overcome their present difficulties. For those that are suffering silently, there is help out there and you are definitely not alone.

Everything you need to succeed is already within you and you have all the answers to your own issues. A good therapist will facilitate that process. My mother always says ‘a man’s courage is his greatest asset’. It is an act of courage and strength, not weakness, to admit you are struggling. It is an act of courage to seek help. It is an act of courage to face up to your problems.

An old saying goes ‘there is a safety in being hidden, but a tragedy never to be found’. You are too precious and important to your family, your friends, your community, to yourself, to stay hidden. In the history of the world and for the rest of time, there will never again be another you. You are a once off, completely unique.

The real you awaits within to be found but to get there requires a journey inwards . A boat is at its safest when it is in the harbour but that’s not what it was built to do. We are the same.

Your journey in will unearth buried truths and unspoken fears. A new strength will emerge to help you to head into the choppy waters of your painful past. Eventually you will discover a place of peace within yourself, a place that encourages you to head out into the world and live your life fully. The world will no longer be a frightening place to live in for you.

I agree with that in part. I've had problems I'm working through and only by looking in at myself have I found answers or ideas that will help me move forward. Its not nice but sometimes admitting to yourself what you've been doing and how you act isn't what you want, is what you need to do to move forward with yourself.

Reading some posts here, I am so glad that I didn't have my own first bout with anxiety / depression until I was 27.

I never had a problem during my university years - which I managed to drag out till i was 25, degree, masters, started phd - and was very much happy go lucky. It was really only when I got my first well paid, high stress job (and, incidentally, got married) that it started for me.

I feel for anyone who is having their university years - without a doubt they should be the best of your life - ruined by this horrible nastiness.

Been off Citalopram for about 3 weeks and I thought the withdrawl symptoms would be long gone but they seem to be getting worse. Anyone had any experience with this?

Feel nauseous as f*** at times, horrible migraines and a wooshy feeling not unlike coming up on pills but without the payoff :lol: They are all commonly reported side effects of withdrawl but it's starting to do my head in. Moodwise i'm about a trillion times better than when I started though :aww:

I think I'm suffering from anxiety-induced asthma right now. Had a lot of stressy stuff recently but frankly it's all getting a bit annoying when I go into work and gradually find myself less and less able to breathe. :tickedoff:

Well past week or so has been massively up and down. My break up is still cutting me to pieces. People keep saying to go find someone else or just go have some fun, but I'd rather make myself happy being me first rather than rely on getting laid to make me happy. Not really sure what I can do about stuff right now. The ex hasn't spoken to me after I told her how angry I was, so if I make contact I'll be giving in to her stupid actions. So I need to just work through it all, which is really f***ing hard at times. Times I'm happy and believe in myself to do anything, then 2 seconds later I feel like s***. I think shouting at her would help, but its probably best to just cut contact like I have done, and focus on my own life for a bit.

Been off Citalopram for about 3 weeks and I thought the withdrawl symptoms would be long gone but they seem to be getting worse. Anyone had any experience with this?

Feel nauseous as f*** at times, horrible migraines and a wooshy feeling not unlike coming up on pills but without the payoff :lol: They are all commonly reported side effects of withdrawl but it's starting to do my head in. Moodwise i'm about a trillion times better than when I started though :aww:

Are you coming off these through your GP? Best way to do it. :thup:

I've not visited this thread for some time, but going through a naff few weeks myself and whilst not feeling overly anxious, am worried about slipping. Work is very intense at the moment - can't really go into detail but professionals have become involved (due to challenging behaviour from one of the lad's I support) , so our every step is being monitored and when you couple that with zero support from the management at the office, then it makes for a hard time. :( I was doing 3 sleep over shifts a week (start 6pm, finish the following day at 10am), which amounted to 6 days a week. After consulting with our lass - I knocked the midweek one on the head as I felt I was struggling. I now feel better in that I don't feel like I'm there every day, but it means a reduction in wages.

The wife is a primary school teacher and she's mega stressed at the moment. A 60hr working week has becoming the norm for her and she is being observed by her head tomorrow as this new PRP initiative comes in. She's the main bread-winner and this allows me to work part-time, but also be the main carer for our 5 year old daughter, so I pick her up, take her to school, etc. Add to other family pressures and it makes for a bit of a torrid time.

I'm tired most of the time - not sleeping badly, but obviously not great. Still on 40mg Citalopram as I have been for the last 4 years. Positive is that I've not needed to take a sleeping tablet or a diazepam for ages, but going off past history - it's about this time of year when I've been taken ill before. Perhaps it is just a blip - who knows. It's also hard to talk to the wife, when she is so stressed at work - which leads us to arguing a fair bit when I've not done enough housework, or have forgot to do something!

Been off Citalopram for about 3 weeks and I thought the withdrawl symptoms would be long gone but they seem to be getting worse. Anyone had any experience with this?

Feel nauseous as f*** at times, horrible migraines and a wooshy feeling not unlike coming up on pills but without the payoff :lol: They are all commonly reported side effects of withdrawl but it's starting to do my head in. Moodwise i'm about a trillion times better than when I started though :aww:

Are you coming off these through your GP? Best way to do it. :thup:

I've not visited this thread for some time, but going through a naff few weeks myself and whilst not feeling overly anxious, am worried about slipping. Work is very intense at the moment - can't really go into detail but professionals have become involved (due to challenging behaviour from one of the lad's I suppstart 6pm, finish the following day at 10am), which amounted to 6 days a week. After consulting with our lass - I knocked the midweek one on the head as I felt I was struggling. I now feel better in that I don't feel like I'm there every day, but it means a reduction in wages.

The wife is a primary school teacher and she's mega stressed at the moment. A 60hr working week has becoming the norm for her and she is being observed by her head tomorrow as this new PRP initiative comes in. She's the main bread-winner and this allows me to work part-time, but also be the main carer for our 5 year old daughter, so I pick her up, take her to school, etc. Add to other family pressures and it makes for a bit of a torrid time.

I'm tired most of the time - not sleeping badly, but obviously not great. Still on 40mg Citalopram as I have been for the last 4 years. Positive is that I've not needed to take a sleeping tablet or a diazepam for ages, but going off past history - it's about this time of year when I've been taken ill before. Perhaps it is just a blip ort) , so our every step is being monitored and when you couple that with zero support from the management at the office, then it makes for a hard time. :( I was doing 3 sleep over shifts a week (- who knows. It's also hard to talk to the wife, when she is so stressed at work - which leads us to arguing a fair bit when I've not done enough housework, or have forgot to do something!

Hopefully things will pick up for the both of us soon.

Yeah I started taking one every two days, then one every three etc until I was off them completely. Still get horrid migraines at times and i've definitely got a shorter fuse now i'm off them but overall i'm glad i'm done with them, kind of see it as a step forward.

That sounds like a right clusterfuck of problems to come all in one go. I'd say it's definitely a good start that you've identified what the problems are and that it's usually around this time of year that you are worse. If you can't feel like you can talk to your wife then maybe make an appointment with your GP? Even if it's just for a chat it sounds like it's bothering you that you can't speak to someone about it.

Either way looking on the bright side the worst of it only sounds temporary, hope you get things sorted out :thup:

Been off Citalopram for about 3 weeks and I thought the withdrawl symptoms would be long gone but they seem to be getting worse. Anyone had any experience with this?

Feel nauseous as f*** at times, horrible migraines and a wooshy feeling not unlike coming up on pills but without the payoff :lol: They are all commonly reported side effects of withdrawl but it's starting to do my head in. Moodwise i'm about a trillion times better than when I started though :aww:

Are you coming off these through your GP? Best way to do it. :thup:

I've not visited this thread for some time, but going through a naff few weeks myself and whilst not feeling overly anxious, am worried about slipping. Work is very intense at the moment - can't really go into detail but professionals have become involved (due to challenging behaviour from one of the lad's I suppstart 6pm, finish the following day at 10am), which amounted to 6 days a week. After consulting with our lass - I knocked the midweek one on the head as I felt I was struggling. I now feel better in that I don't feel like I'm there every day, but it means a reduction in wages.

The wife is a primary school teacher and she's mega stressed at the moment. A 60hr working week has becoming the norm for her and she is being observed by her head tomorrow as this new PRP initiative comes in. She's the main bread-winner and this allows me to work part-time, but also be the main carer for our 5 year old daughter, so I pick her up, take her to school, etc. Add to other family pressures and it makes for a bit of a torrid time.

I'm tired most of the time - not sleeping badly, but obviously not great. Still on 40mg Citalopram as I have been for the last 4 years. Positive is that I've not needed to take a sleeping tablet or a diazepam for ages, but going off past history - it's about this time of year when I've been taken ill before. Perhaps it is just a blip ort) , so our every step is being monitored and when you couple that with zero support from the management at the office, then it makes for a hard time. :( I was doing 3 sleep over shifts a week (- who knows. It's also hard to talk to the wife, when she is so stressed at work - which leads us to arguing a fair bit when I've not done enough housework, or have forgot to do something!

Hopefully things will pick up for the both of us soon.

Yeah I started taking one every two days, then one every three etc until I was off them completely. Still get horrid migraines at times and i've definitely got a shorter fuse now i'm off them but overall i'm glad i'm done with them, kind of see it as a step forward.

That sounds like a right clusterfuck of problems to come all in one go. I'd say it's definitely a good start that you've identified what the problems are and that it's usually around this time of year that you are worse. If you can't feel like you can talk to your wife then maybe make an appointment with your GP? Even if it's just for a chat it sounds like it's bothering you that you can't speak to someone about it.

Either way looking on the bright side the worst of it only sounds temporary, hope you get things sorted out :thup:

Will see how the next week or so goes :thup: It's funny when the s*** hits the fan, it tends to be in one feckin huge lump! :D

Definitely need to register with my doctors tomorrow so I can get some kind of medication. My thoughts are getting a bit too dark for my liking, my general mood is thwarting my motivation and creativity, and I really don't like myself as a person. I feel like I'm trapped within the confides of myself, like a passenger watching on as I deliberately do nothing.

That sums up how I feel quite a lot of the time. I got given a number to call for some counciling, which hopefully will help me. I'm trying to avoid meds for now, as I've been making process by pushing myself a bit, and doing some self reflection.

A girl I know basically forced MDMA in my mouth last night. I've later off all of that s*** for 8 or so years. I lost my temper with her badly. Been worried about it all day, feel a bit weird. It's set my anxiety and depression off. I'm not in the right head space to be taking any drugs never mind that stuff

A girl I know basically forced MDMA in my mouth last night. I've later off all of that s*** for 8 or so years. I lost my temper with her badly. Been worried about it all day, feel a bit weird. It's set my anxiety and depression off. I'm not in the right head space to be taking any drugs never mind that stuff

Really from somone who has suffered from this stuff in my view MDMA does not hurt and can even help.Dont really understand all of what you said.

What you been worried about it all day ? is it being angry at her? and all day as in after after you have taken it? How did you feel while on it?

Did you feel weird at the time or after?

If its after its just a come down that everyone has (would expect you know that tho) if its during how did you feel on it.

It realeases seronine that makes you happy so is much better than any legal drugs...also was made by a doctor to treat depression and make people open about their feelings.

When say not right head space to be taking any drugs never mind that stuff you seem be making MDMA sound like the worst but its only going to effect you long term if you take it all the time.From my time taking it it made me more socail and helped in the depression.

Don't know what it is about November, had a bad time about 5 years back at college, then I basically went mad for a week the following year, and now I've been having really morbid thoughts the last week or so and struggled to leave my room. Bloody winter.

Don't know what it is about November, had a bad time about 5 years back at college, then I basically went mad for a week the following year, and now I've been having really morbid thoughts the last week or so and struggled to leave my room. Bloody winter.

A girl I know basically forced MDMA in my mouth last night. I've later off all of that s*** for 8 or so years. I lost my temper with her badly. Been worried about it all day, feel a bit weird. It's set my anxiety and depression off. I'm not in the right head space to be taking any drugs never mind that stuff

Really from somone who has suffered from this stuff in my view MDMA does not hurt and can even help.Dont really understand all of what you said.

What you been worried about it all day ? is it being angry at her? and all day as in after after you have taken it?Again when did you feel weird at the time or after?

If its after its just a come down that everyone has if its during how did you feel on it.It realeases seronine that makes you happy so is much better than any legal drugs...also was made by a doctor to treat depression and make people open about their feelings.

When say not right head space to be taking any drugs never mind that stuff you seem be making MDMA sound like the worst but its only going to effect you long term if you take it all the time.From my time taking it it made me more socail and helped in the depression.

I used to smash it back in the day man, when I was younger, that and pills, but I knocked it on the head. I personally found it exacerbated my anxiety and depression. I'm not worried about shouting at her, she deserved it, I repeatedly said no and she stuck her finger in my mouth with it on.

I have felt a bit weird all day, but it was a late night. I didn't feel the effects but I'm just concerned of the effect on my mind. I think if I had a comedown now it would be beyond savage. I couldn't take it. I've left that in the past. I don't want chemicals in me anymore.

Thanks for the links though man will check it out. But I don't think I want to take drugs anymore, too much too young I guess

Definitely need to register with my doctors tomorrow so I can get some kind of medication. My thoughts are getting a bit too dark for my liking, my general mood is thwarting my motivation and creativity, and I really don't like myself as a person. I feel like I'm trapped within the confides of myself, like a passenger watching on as I deliberately do nothing.

Get it done. Also, take a look at Feeling Good by David Burns and Undoing Depression by Richard O'Connor.

If you feel you need it get it, people go through different things and even if it does nothing but you feel better thats all that matters in the end.

My mood has crashed again past few days, feel like a bit of a failure and feelings for my ex have taken over my head again. All I can do is keep going and set myself some goals and targets for the coming weeks and months. Hopefully if I do the things I've got down I'll be roughly where I want to be come April time.

Anxiety has been really getting at me recently, put in a request for a repeat prescription today of my usual asthma stuff but requested some Diazepam as well.

The Drs are going to kick me in the face aren't they? I used to get it every month but started to use it less and less then stopped completely more than a year ago.

I think if you've proven to be non-addict with it they will look favourably on you. It's definitely the best short term fix I've ever experienced to be honest. I'd caveat that though with the fact it really f***s with your mood, made me feel so rough sometimes.

Just want to throw out there that over the past few weeks this thread has seemed to gain a bit of traction and while I'm not happy that people need it, I'm proud to see people reaching out in it. It's a hard thing to admit and it's really great to see people reaching out to what are ostensibly strangers. Depression is a horrendous thing to live with and the more it becomes mainstream the better for everyone. It should not be the taboo it seems to be and forums (in the greater sense of the word, not a physically forum), such as this really help dispel the myth of depression.

Just want to throw out there that over the past few weeks this thread has seemed to gain a bit of traction and while I'm not happy that people need it, I'm proud to see people reaching out in it. It's a hard thing to admit and it's really great to see people reaching out to what are ostensibly strangers. Depression is a horrendous thing to live with and the more it becomes mainstream the better for everyone. It should not be the taboo it seems to be and forums (in the greater sense of the word, not a physically forum), such as this really help dispel the myth of depression.

If you feel you need it get it, people go through different things and even if it does nothing but you feel better thats all that matters in the end.

My mood has crashed again past few days, feel like a bit of a failure and feelings for my ex have taken over my head again. All I can do is keep going and set myself some goals and targets for the coming weeks and months. Hopefully if I do the things I've got down I'll be roughly where I want to be come April time.

please don't take this wrong and I've been thinking how to put this over the last couple of days and i'll maybe unserstand it better afterwards.................

I always took the difference between the natural ups and downs of life and clinical depression to be that personal circumstance doesn't matter to clinical depression and yours seems to be built around the ex (and I know how bad a break up can be) but nevertheless, personal circumstance. I know sometimes these circumstances can trigger clinical depression or can intensify it so I was kind of wondering if you had any prior predispositions to depression etc.

hope you don't think I'm trivialising what you are going through,i've never suffered from depression so just trying to get a better handle on it.

I've felt like this for quite a while (years) and it comes and goes, sometimes I'm down for months then fine for months. Things lately have been s*** which hasn't helped and has made my mood yoyo quite a bit more than normal. Where to draw the line between full blown depression and low mood/esteem I'm not sure tbh. Personally I'd class mine as more of a self esteem confidence thing but any healthcare people I talk to say it sounds like mild depression to them. I'm not fussed what it's classed as, as long as I can find a way to get through it. Certainty the hopelessness and being numb to everything rings true of how I feel at times.

I have a family history of depression so I'm worried about that, hence trying to sort it before it gets too bad.

Tbh I'm not entirely sure. Not sure where down stops and depressed begins. Personally I think you are down if its a few days then you can lift your mood. Of you're down for weeks or months and nothing can lift your mood for more than a few hours then I'd say that's mild depression at least. The later is how I felt a lot of the time. I felt like I was just existing not doing anything of use.

Love my lass and my family a hell of a lot and I feel guilty because of them but for myself I am really not that bothered. I wouldn't say I was massively depressed, I just don't really care any more.

Sorry to hear it man. Have you seen anyone about it? You've basically just described me a year and a half ago. I didn't think I was even too bad but a friend persuaded me to go to my GP, I don't think i'd be exaggerating to say it changed my life.

Was just admitted to a clinic in a place you will never know unless you guess correctly then maybe you do know, are you on the ward also? Has anyone been in a situation like this at all? I have someone watching me 24/7 even a I take a bath or do a poo, is that masturbation gone from my life or can I just shuffle and make no eye contact? I know the other residents are also ill but I can't cope with how ill they seem, do I look like that, am I wearing women's garments? The staff, whilst I know are professionals and know better but are they supposed to be so patronising? Do I use a lot of question marks? Also I'm the tastiest piece of meat in here and wash really well so is my poo mouth in danger? Can anyone help? question mark

Yep, thought it was pretty good at the time but the longer it has been since I have had it the less positive I am about it.

The lady was very nice but it was a lot of stuff that seemed to completely miss the point, or at least didn't work for me at all.

There was stuff like "So what if you do make a fool of yourself in front of a load of people? So what?" which I suppose is partly right but if you make a fool of yourself in front of a load a people a load of people laugh at and judge you, that's quite a s*** thing when you are already an anxious person :lol:

Going to ask for some when I see my doctor next week, suppose it's just going to depend on how long the waiting list is.

It might be better for you, I just felt like I was being told how to feel by someone who had never experienced it. Almost a kids gloves "Get over it! I've never really experienced anxiety so why can't you just be like me?".

I'm waiting to see the doctor(Specialist), because my wife (and others) think I might have Bi-Polar disorder, which would explain a lot of things, but I'm not really sure myself.

I'm really struggling with my anxieties. I can't work at the minute, I'm a nurse and my fear of even entering the hospital causes me to have some pretty nasty physical symptoms and horrible thoughts.

I'm on antidepressants, my mood has been pretty swingy the last few weeks but it is starting to settle down.

I'm so ashamed though, as I can't seem to be just steady.

And I'm not sure I can stop my negative cycling, or overcome the fear and thoughts that have built up around my job. I wan't to leave but I don't really know what to do. I can't leave until I work out what I want to do.

My son is due August 14th, so I'm glad I'm pretty stable now, but I need help to overcome my issues and metal health services are so f***ing SLOW.

In the meantime I'm:

ExercisingMedicationOnline CBT (it's ok, but you really need someone to talk to)Counselling (Waiting list: 6 Months)Meditation/Mindfullness (Trying to do small bit each day)Socialising (Or being forced into it by the wife)

My sister got married Thursday and I felt nothing at all. I feel very little most of the time. Feels like I'm in fog, s*** is going on all around me and I'm just pulling the right face that I expect the person to receive. Feels like a game.

If you can afford it maybe going private is an option? man, just really for the speed you can see someone. I rang a private one when I was really desperate and left some like incoherent voicemail on her phone and she called back literally the next day.

Really nice lady, and made me feel a million times better just talking to her. I don't think the standard is any better personally but you'll not have to wait long to get an appointment.

You're doing a lot of good things there from the sounds of it. Has the lack of feelings been a new thing with the medication, or just something that was pre-existing? Waiting for help is the absolute worst like, my last episode was over by the time I was invited to go so I ended up playing it down because I was so used to hiding it socially, so ended up doing the same when I was in counselling, which was a mistake.

I really hope everything works out, you've always got this place as a shoulder to cry on or for encouragement or support. We'll all help you however we can. :thup:

You're doing a lot of good things there from the sounds of it. Has the lack of feelings been a new thing with the medication, or just something that was pre-existing? Waiting for help is the absolute worst like, my last episode was over by the time I was invited to go so I ended up playing it down because I was so used to hiding it socially, so ended up doing the same when I was in counselling, which was a mistake.

I really hope everything works out, you've always got this place as a shoulder to cry on or for encouragement or support. We'll all help you however we can. :thup:

That happened last time to me, and I regret not doing it now.

This time I'm gonna get myself straight before going back into everything.

The numbness is depression related. I get it when these episodes happen.

Have you been given a date of when you can see a specialist or are you just waiting until they call you? Another thing, have you said that you're available for appointments during working hours? I didn't do that and again it was a whole 'it's fine, I'm fine' mistake that it's easy to make.

The amount of things that you're doing is really admirable. Is there anything else that you know takes the edge off a bit?

You're doing a lot of good things there from the sounds of it. Has the lack of feelings been a new thing with the medication, or just something that was pre-existing? Waiting for help is the absolute worst like, my last episode was over by the time I was invited to go so I ended up playing it down because I was so used to hiding it socially, so ended up doing the same when I was in counselling, which was a mistake.

I really hope everything works out, you've always got this place as a shoulder to cry on or for encouragement or support. We'll all help you however we can. :thup:

That happened last time to me, and I regret not doing it now.

This time I'm gonna get myself straight before going back into everything.

The numbness is depression related. I get it when these episodes happen.

You seem to have the right attitude about it by wanting to get better and doing all you can which must be hard.Good things will come to you, your wife's wanting you to get better and seems very understanding, I'm sure your son will help raise you up when he is born, and all of us here at N-O are wishing you the best mate.

If you need someone to talk too, even if it's just a stranger then myself and I'm sure a load of others on here are here for you.

All the best with it LP, as others are saying it sounds like you're doing the right things. Exercise and keeping an active social life can make a big difference (I personally struggle with the former, but if you're managing to do it then great) and if you're feeling really down then keep talking about it - to us, your family and eventually the professionals. Hope you get the appointments you're after ASAP.

Been referred for psychiatry today. My f***ing life. :yao: I don't know how "twisting" my life's events (or non-events! :yao: ) into something positive is ever going to heal me. Nonetheless, it's a start. My body has changed a great deal biologically particularly over the last 3-4 years. That's how I want to treat it. But I guess psychiatry is a start.

This place. Seriously, it's the best. I've never come across a place as supportive of its fellow members and in creating an environment in which it's ok to be a bit in need now and again.

Lost my dad to cancer and got divorced in the space of a couple of years a couple of years back and I wish I had found this place a lot earlier. Still coming to terms with it all but just the fact that I'm not alone in finding things hard is a real comfort at times.

You're doing a lot of good things there from the sounds of it. Has the lack of feelings been a new thing with the medication, or just something that was pre-existing? Waiting for help is the absolute worst like, my last episode was over by the time I was invited to go so I ended up playing it down because I was so used to hiding it socially, so ended up doing the same when I was in counselling, which was a mistake.

I really hope everything works out, you've always got this place as a shoulder to cry on or for encouragement or support. We'll all help you however we can. :thup:

That happened last time to me, and I regret not doing it now.

This time I'm gonna get myself straight before going back into everything.

The numbness is depression related. I get it when these episodes happen.

The time is right to share with you something I have contemplated sharing since I joined this forum years ago. I now feel comfortable and I do so in the hope that it might offer some hope and advantage to those suffering the disease of depression.

I have been Bi-polar depressive with occasional bouts of Psychosis all my adult life (some 40 odd years).

I have been psychotic and have known the ecstasy of being 'High' to the depths of suicidal depression. I have heard voices and hallucinated terrible visions. Voices telling me how unworthy I am and telling me to end it all. WHen high I have gone for a week without food or sleep, unable to read or talk sensibly with floods of thoughts overwhelming me. When depressed the voices once again have told me I don't deserve to live and I should end it all. I have frequently planned my demise. The disease of Bipolar depression has crushed my dreams and expectations and never allowed me to meet my potential.

And here's where I believe I can offer hope to this with these crushing depressions. The only way to preserve your sanity and perspective is to tell yourself (and believe you me I know how overbearing this can be) that your depression, despite time and all the drugs you might be asked to ingest, will pass and you must tell yourself it is a temporary disease that requires patience and help. This might be in the form of drugs and/or therapy but IT WILL PASS.

When you feel in the depths of despair remember that suicide or self harm is but a final solution to a temporary problem. You must dig deep and recollect the goodness that you have experienced and passed on to others. Do not succumb to the disease; it will get better in time. Time is what it takes.

Take heart in your future, realise this is a disease that can be controlled and look forward to your future no matter how black it all feels. Tell yourself out loud if it helps.

The time is right to share with you something I have contemplated sharing since I joined this forum years ago. I now feel comfortable and I do so in the hope that it might offer some hope and advantage to those suffering the disease of depression.

I have been Bi-polar depressive with occasional bouts of Psychosis all my adult life (some 40 odd years).

I have been psychotic and have known the ecstasy of being 'High' to the depths of suicidal depression. I have heard voices and hallucinated terrible visions. Voices telling me how unworthy I am and telling me to end it all. WHen high I have gone for a week without food or sleep, unable to read or talk sensibly with floods of thoughts overwhelming me. When depressed the voices once again have told me I don't deserve to live and I should end it all. I have frequently planned my demise. The disease of Bipolar depression has crushed my dreams and expectations and never allowed me to meet my potential.

And here's where I believe I can offer hope to this with these crushing depressions. The only way to preserve your sanity and perspective is to tell yourself (and believe you me I know how overbearing this can be) that your depression, despite time and all the drugs you might be asked to ingest, will pass and you must tell yourself it is a temporary disease that requires patience and help. This might be in the form of drugs and/or therapy but IT WILL PASS.

When you feel in the depths of despair remember that suicide or self harm is but a final solution to a temporary problem. You must dig deep and recollect the goodness that you have experienced and passed on to others. Do not succumb to the disease; it will get better in time. Time is what it takes.

Take heart in your future, realise this is a disease that can be controlled and look forward to your future no matter how black it all feels. Tell yourself out loud if it helps.

I hope this offers some comfort to fellow sufferers.

:thup: Great post Haz - pleased you have felt it time to share, as I can imagine your words bringing some serious comfort to people.

The time is right to share with you something I have contemplated sharing since I joined this forum years ago. I now feel comfortable and I do so in the hope that it might offer some hope and advantage to those suffering the disease of depression.

I have been Bi-polar depressive with occasional bouts of Psychosis all my adult life (some 40 odd years).

I have been psychotic and have known the ecstasy of being 'High' to the depths of suicidal depression. I have heard voices and hallucinated terrible visions. Voices telling me how unworthy I am and telling me to end it all. WHen high I have gone for a week without food or sleep, unable to read or talk sensibly with floods of thoughts overwhelming me. When depressed the voices once again have told me I don't deserve to live and I should end it all. I have frequently planned my demise. The disease of Bipolar depression has crushed my dreams and expectations and never allowed me to meet my potential.

And here's where I believe I can offer hope to this with these crushing depressions. The only way to preserve your sanity and perspective is to tell yourself (and believe you me I know how overbearing this can be) that your depression, despite time and all the drugs you might be asked to ingest, will pass and you must tell yourself it is a temporary disease that requires patience and help. This might be in the form of drugs and/or therapy but IT WILL PASS.

When you feel in the depths of despair remember that suicide or self harm is but a final solution to a temporary problem. You must dig deep and recollect the goodness that you have experienced and passed on to others. Do not succumb to the disease; it will get better in time. Time is what it takes.

Take heart in your future, realise this is a disease that can be controlled and look forward to your future no matter how black it all feels. Tell yourself out loud if it helps.

I hope this offers some comfort to fellow sufferers.

Beautifully said, buddy. Your strength of character shines through in maintaining hope.

A little out of the blue this, but i thought i would share this will you all. I have suffered with depression and anxiety probably for around 3-4 years. Based on what i told the doctor i was sent for tests for Bi-Polar disorder, which was actually ruled out to my surprise due to my feelings of highs and extreme lows. I have been on medication for a while now, but made the fatal mistake of forgetting to get a repeat prescription and just went without for a few weeks. The first week was ok and i had felt fine but i hit rock bottom after that and started having feelings of rage and anger/suicidal thoughts. Back on the happy pills now thank god.

This is more or less a word of warning, do not just stop taking medication unless you are told to, i nearly lost my mind in only a couple of weeks, any longer and i dont know what may have happened. Btw thought i would mention how good it is that an online community like this is available for people to talk about such a sensitive subject :thup:.

The time is right to share with you something I have contemplated sharing since I joined this forum years ago. I now feel comfortable and I do so in the hope that it might offer some hope and advantage to those suffering the disease of depression.

I have been Bi-polar depressive with occasional bouts of Psychosis all my adult life (some 40 odd years).

I have been psychotic and have known the ecstasy of being 'High' to the depths of suicidal depression. I have heard voices and hallucinated terrible visions. Voices telling me how unworthy I am and telling me to end it all. WHen high I have gone for a week without food or sleep, unable to read or talk sensibly with floods of thoughts overwhelming me. When depressed the voices once again have told me I don't deserve to live and I should end it all. I have frequently planned my demise. The disease of Bipolar depression has crushed my dreams and expectations and never allowed me to meet my potential.

And here's where I believe I can offer hope to this with these crushing depressions. The only way to preserve your sanity and perspective is to tell yourself (and believe you me I know how overbearing this can be) that your depression, despite time and all the drugs you might be asked to ingest, will pass and you must tell yourself it is a temporary disease that requires patience and help. This might be in the form of drugs and/or therapy but IT WILL PASS.

When you feel in the depths of despair remember that suicide or self harm is but a final solution to a temporary problem. You must dig deep and recollect the goodness that you have experienced and passed on to others. Do not succumb to the disease; it will get better in time. Time is what it takes.

Take heart in your future, realise this is a disease that can be controlled and look forward to your future no matter how black it all feels. Tell yourself out loud if it helps.

I hope this offers some comfort to fellow sufferers.

Bloody hell, to be fair, reading what you have wrote makes me think my wife could write that almost word for word. It is a horrible unforgiving disease, and currently Mrs Tisd is in a very low place, which has been difficult for us as a family.

From my experience of caring for someone with these kind of issues all I would advise is talk to people. You are not a burden, and quite often you'll find that the people close to you will be happy to listen and in a lot of cases don't realise the difficulties that you are going through.

Mrs Tisd is off meds at the moment has been for 5 months now, for about 4 months she showed a dramatic improvement, but stresses at work and stress over the way she looks in a bikini (holiday abroad less than two weeks away) have hammered her self esteem and is in a dark place....I'm hoping the time off work and the fact we've been looking forward to this holiday for over a year maybe enough to bring her back up?

A little out of the blue this, but i thought i would share this will you all. I have suffered with depression and anxiety probably for around 3-4 years. Based on what i told the doctor i was sent for tests for Bi-Polar disorder, which was actually ruled out to my surprise due to my feelings of highs and extreme lows. I have been on medication for a while now, but made the fatal mistake of forgetting to get a repeat prescription and just went without for a few weeks. The first week was ok and i had felt fine but i hit rock bottom after that and started having feelings of rage and anger/suicidal thoughts. Back on the happy pills now thank god.

This is more or less a word of warning, do not just stop taking medication unless you are told to, i nearly lost my mind in only a couple of weeks, any longer and i dont know what may have happened. Btw thought i would mention how good it is that an online community like this is available for people to talk about such a sensitive subject :thup:.

Klaus is spot on. Never, ever, give up medication without medical direction. Especially anti-depressives. You can just about get by without anti - anxiety stuff but anti - depressives, if stopped abruptly will come back and bite you on the arse. Big time.

I don't think I will ever take antidepressents as I'm just hell-bent to beat my depression naturally. (Ie, through improving my own life.) I am, however, experimenting with few non-chemical supplements.

I don't think I will ever take antidepressents as I'm just hell-bent to beat my depression naturally. (Ie, through improving my own life.) I am, however, experimenting with few non-chemical supplements.

Nothing so far.

This sounds like a not very good idea, to me. If it works for you, fair enough, but it doesn't sound like it does. If its just the stigma of taking medication that bothers you, I'd encourage you to get over that idea pronto. Medication doesn't necessarily have to be a lifelong thing, though it can be, when appropriate. It could just be a temporary thing to kick start you into a position where you're much better able to make the kind of life changes you want to.

You have to remember that some (if not most) depressions are chemical imbalances. Therefore, medication, if selected correctly, will be of great help. So don't dismiss it out of hand. After all, you wouldn't refuse pain killers if in severe pain would you? Hay fever medication if necessary? Just remember the brain is another organ that may need assistance.

I don't want to be reliant on medications as I don't think I'd be able to afford it longer-term. Plus, it's has some side effects such as weight gain, erectile dysfunction (as if. :yao:) and sometimes when you're off them you feel worse.

I don't want to be reliant on medications as I don't think I'd be able to afford it longer-term. Plus, it's has some side effects such as weight gain, erectile dysfunction (as if. :yao:) and sometimes when you're off them you feel worse.

But I'll give it another thought, anyway. Thanks. :thup:

I'm like that when it comes to medication, I hate taking tablets, but if there are benefits to your health and well being, you have to do what is right.

I don't want to be reliant on medications as I don't think I'd be able to afford it longer-term. Plus, it's has some side effects such as weight gain, erectile dysfunction (as if. :yao:) and sometimes when you're off them you feel worse.

But I'll give it another thought, anyway. Thanks. :thup:

"Mental illness" is a misleading term for depression, because while the symptoms are mental, the causes aren't always. It can be brought about by having the wrong levels of hormones/neurotransmitters, and while sorting out your problems might help, it's not going to address this underlying cause. The stigma of antidepressants needs to go - they work by treating an actual, physical problem.

There is a bit of a stigma around anti depressants and a lot of bad stories about them, but if it helps you and you follow the course properly, then go for it. It's noble to say its a problem you want to fix yourself, but as someone else said, it's often caused by a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected.

I don't think I will ever take antidepressents as I'm just hell-bent to beat my depression naturally. (Ie, through improving my own life.) I am, however, experimenting with few non-chemical supplements.

Nothing so far.

This sounds like a not very good idea, to me. If it works for you, fair enough, but it doesn't sound like it does. If its just the stigma of taking medication that bothers you, I'd encourage you to get over that idea pronto. Medication doesn't necessarily have to be a lifelong thing, though it can be, when appropriate. It could just be a temporary thing to kick start you into a position where you're much better able to make the kind of life changes you want to.

I thought the same but seriously try them and if you don't like them then stop taking them slowly.

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

Do you narrate it in third person outloud e.g. "Dinho needs to go to the store."? I do that too sometimes. But like you, only when alone. I don't know if living alone makes it happen, it's always (since age 13 or so) been something I did even when in relationships. It's never cropped up "in public" or with other people around.

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

In the context of your earlier posts, this seems like the best thing you can do. Sounds like you're on the right track. Good luck with your appointment.

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

Do you narrate it in third person outloud e.g. "Dinho needs to go to the store."? I do that too sometimes. But like you, only when alone. I don't know if living alone makes it happen, it's always (since age 13 or so) been something I did even when in relationships. It's never cropped up "in public" or with other people around.

tldr : you're as sane as me.

No, not in a third person. Just random words. Sometimes this habit ends up being physical. (I.e through moving arms randomly or having certain expressions on my face.)

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

In the context of your earlier posts, this seems like the best thing you can do. Sounds like you're on the right track. Good luck with your appointment.

Thanks. I will be requesting an MRI scan as I believe my dopamine receptors are well and true lily f***ed.(I don't enjoy anything in life. Lost any desire for girls, etc.)

You have to remember that some (if not most) depressions are chemical imbalances. Therefore, medication, if selected correctly, will be of great help. So don't dismiss it out of hand. After all, you wouldn't refuse pain killers if in severe pain would you? Hay fever medication if necessary? Just remember the brain is another organ that may need assistance.

Probably the best advice I've seen here. It all depends if it's a biological or cognitive cause. If it's biological then it's unlikely any form of therapy will help and as Haz says it's likely that only anti-depressants will help. If it's a cognitive cause then anti depressants can be good initially in order to combat depression enough to take therapy and for it to have a natural effect.

Thanks, but unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's biological. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not enjoying anything in life, can hardly laugh longer than 1-2 seconds, feel glum and hopeless pretty much all day and has had no libido in the last 3 years. Dopamine is just not there. Not a good sign as lack of dopamine could mean Parkinson's disease later in life.

Thanks, but unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's biological. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not enjoying anything in life, can hardly laugh longer than 1-2 seconds, feel glum and hopeless pretty much all day and has had no libido in the last 3 years. Dopamine is just not there. Not a good sign as lack of dopamine could mean Parkinson's disease later in life.

Thanks again, dudes. :thup:

If it's biological as it sounds then it's best to leave it to your Dr to explain the risks of taking drugs and not taking drugs. There is drugs that maybe able to increase your dopamine levels which should help your depression and should also reduce the risk or Parkinsons and other muscle diseases. What you have to remember though that there is treatment out there for you and you are doing the right thing by seeking help, hope everything goes well. Keep us up to date.

:thup: i should have gone to doctors a long, long time ago. Really kicking myself about that as I've got too much side effects of depression and stress. It was bound to happen if you go through years and years of negative feelings, but I simply didn't think doctors would be able to do much.( as opposed to focusing to improve my life.)

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

I think that's pretty normal mate.

Everyone gets internal dialogue it's just for the vast majority either dismiss it or aren't self aware enough to pay attention to it.

In my experience when I'm feeling depressed or anxious I constantly analyse myself, be it through body scanning (physical symptons) or focusing too much on thoughts which is where the self awareness comes in.

You explain any problems of anxiety or panic related situations you're going through and instead of listening all they do is throw a script of SSRI's at you. "But I'm not depressed" "..ah just take them anyway." You got back after a few weeks, explain that they are actually making you feel worse so they just give you a different kind which are even worse than what they originally gave you. "These ones are actually making me pysically sick." "uh, try these beta blockers instead.."

I went to the docs a while ago, after a few drink induced angry episodes, mainly because my girlfriend wanted me to go. I went, just to get it done with, told the guy I had become irrationally angry when reaching a certain level of drunk, and that I couldn't explain it.

The obvious thing to do is not drink as much, so that's what I've been doing and all is well. I never really get smashed any more.

Anyhow I was in the doctors room for about 3 minutes talking about this and he prescribed me with citalopram. It remains untouched in my room and I'm happy, never felt the need to take it.

My other half has been on anti-depressants for a couple of years and decided to come off them a couple of months ago. Slowy lowering the dose she came down from using Fluoxetine daily to once a week. I found her moods to be a lot more stable and she seemed happier than when she was on the full course, but she's decided, with advice from the doctor, to go back up to the full course, so she's started full time again on Monday. So far I've noticed she has been hyperactive and super-happy. I'm worried there's going to be a crash of some sort soon. I don't want to tell her I'm worried though in case it prompts her feeling bad. It's a tough old business.

Not sure what the point of my post is. Was just reading people's opinions on medication and thought I'd chip in with something.

Agree that the stigma around talking about mental health and in taking medication need to go, like. Ruining lives it is.

I know this is in the wrong thread, but it is about mental health. So anyway...

.... I noticed during the past couple of weeks that when thoughts enter my mind, I accidentally say words that become audible. (To myself, when alone.) I'm worried that this is a sign of some other on-coming mental illness, not to mention that this inadvertent habit could develop further to when I'm out in public surrounded by people. I've spent a vast majority of my adult life alone, so unfortunately this talking to myself thing seems to be a sign of all those years being socially isolated. I also seems to be getting a lot of internal dialogue with myself. Basically: It's a load of f***ing bullshit that I certainly don't need now, but I have a doctor's appointment next week and will be getting his opinion.

Do you narrate it in third person outloud e.g. "Dinho needs to go to the store."? I do that too sometimes. But like you, only when alone. I don't know if living alone makes it happen, it's always (since age 13 or so) been something I did even when in relationships. It's never cropped up "in public" or with other people around.

tldr : you're as sane as me.

No, not in a third person. Just random words. Sometimes this habit ends up being physical. (I.e through moving arms randomly or having certain expressions on my face.)

Just want to share my experience of panic depression I had exactly this with the twitching when I was at my lowest it was almost as if I wanted to escape from my skin (weird I know)!I also didn't want to take tablets so im in the middle of a course of having counselling and it has helped me a lot just having someone to talk to about ur worries and fears without any judgement. Maybe try this route its working for me.

You explain any problems of anxiety or panic related situations you're going through and instead of listening all they do is throw a script of SSRI's at you. "But I'm not depressed" "..ah just take them anyway." You got back after a few weeks, explain that they are actually making you feel worse so they just give you a different kind which are even worse than what they originally gave you. "These ones are actually making me pysically sick." "uh, try these beta blockers instead.."

Yeah, no worries Dr. Riviera, dick.

To be fair, SSRIs are not just prescribed for depression, they are used to treat anxiety, too.

I don't have issues with depression, but have had ongoing anxiety problems over the years. I was prescribed fluoxetine (prozac) which did nothing for me, but didn't cause any side effects. I was then given citalopram, which reduced me to a non-functioning wreck for three or four weeks, incapable of doing much beyond lying down and sweating buckets. It destroyed me.

I think the issue with medication for mental issues is that it is really "suck it and see", so you have to try one thing, which might work but might not. If it doesn't work, they try the next thing.

I honestly think that, in terms of medication, that is where the science is at now.

It isn't just mental illness, either. I have a problem with high blood pressure. Over the course of six months, I have had a range of different medications to try to get it where it needs to be. It has been a case of trying one, keeping a log of blood pressure over a period of weeks, seeing the doctor, then changing the dosage or the medication, and doing the same thing again.

Eventually I have hit on a combination of three medications which keeps my bp pretty much perfect, which is what I wanted, but it has taken a range of attempts with differing medications to get to this point.

B-more Mag is thinking about getting one of those box lights for seasonal affective disorder. B-more wonders if anyone here has ever tried it.

Really considering it this year, or maybe going on a sunbed every week to get some UV rays, will have a hard time explaining my tan in winter though, people ask questions in summer ffs. I just know that I don't wanna be taking anti-Ds again throughout the winter.

Aye, the reviews of them on Amazon are unanimous. It's my birthday coming up and I always think of that as the start of the bleak road to winter, not sure if it's appropriate to ask for one as a birthday present.

Never discussed this with anyone before as I haven't really felt comfortable doing so. However had a very hard couple of years with what I think is mental illness. It started when I was at uni around 4 years ago I'd say, I just felt down constantly and worries about things out of my control (nothing university related). In the end I couldn't physically get up through the day and then on a night was awake just feeling worthless and useless. I left uni in Summer 2012 and started working and everything seemed to get a bit better.

Then I would say January 2013 things started getting pretty bad again, for no reason whatsoever. I ended up quittting my job through it as I would go to work and feel like complete s***, I don't think work helped as it was an utter s*** and lonely job. I started a new, better job soon after and things picked up again, was enjoying work and had a decent life. Then last Summer things just hit me yet again, instead of quitting my job I somehow motivated myself to go in, it helped that I tended to start at 7pmish and that I worked with plenty people and had a good laugh. I only worked on. Friday and Saturday night too which again helped.

Between this point - around August last year and the start of July, I had been on and off, it had been f***ing horrific at times and admittedly I have had some dark thoughts, keeping it to myself and trying not to show any emotion or signs of weakness has been difficult. I have a new job now and work in a place where you get a lot of people coming in claiming to suffer from depression and knowing that they are putting it on to get benefit money from the state whilst I am working my arse off and silently suffering made my blood boil, but that is for another thread. My way of getting through life is setting long term things up that I can look forward to and then breaking time up. For example I had a holiday booked for earlier this month and I had used that to get me out of bed to work earning money. Things were looking good at the start of July and then I had an accident at a music festival, spent a few nights in hospital and had a s*** load of metal put in my leg which meant I've been unable to go away and basically been bed ridden for a month. Not going to lie the last 5 weeks - infact it's coming up 6 - have been the hardest of my life. Had nothing to do, nowhere to go and just felt lonely as f***, worthless, useless etc and had nothing to look forward to. If it wasn't for my family and a couple of mates I don't know what would have happened. I have had a good week this week and knowing that I will be able to walk etc and have a life again soon is the reason for that.

Doesn't sound bad compared to what other posts I've read in here but on bad days it literally feels like my world is crashing down around me, it is absolutely horrible and worse than any physical pain I have encountered. Decided when I can drive again I'm going to seek medical help, physically not being able to do that (and wanting to keep it from family etc) is what has made my mind up.

:thup: Glad to hear your leg's on the mend so you'll be able to get around again, and that you're going to the doctors about the other stuff. Sounds like you've had a really horrible time of it, hope things improve for you.

Danh sounds like a good way forward mate :thup: if I were you i'd let somebody (anybody) know that you're planning on going and seeing someone and then just let them know when you have been.

It's a very easy thing to not go and do. Although your mind may be made up now, a couple of good days might convince you that it's not necessary. It is though because what you've described has been going on for years.

Very brave of you to tell us all about it. Glad you are going to seek help; you should have done that a while ago. Just to reinforce what I said earlier; it will get better. You can count on that and where there is hope there is healing.

Cheers lads, appreciate the advice and well wishes. It's funny you say that about convincing myself after a few good days not to go because that has kind of happened before. I'll let you know how it goes. O0

Glad you figured this all out at such a young age too, man. You will reap many more benefits from it without "wasting" your 20s with crippling anxiety. Best of luck dude, you seem like you're in a good place. :thup:

Been pretty down for some reason lately. I have been stressed about moving, not seeing my son enough and also spending a s*** load of money moving. Its only a rental place but it'll have cost me 6 grand with all the expense when I move in on Monday. Its a house near london tbf but didn't realise it was going to cost so much. It was 3400 just for the deposit and admin fees then I had to buy all the furniture as previous place was furnished. In addition to that I am going to Singapore for 2 weeks which will be another 2 grand in spending I am guessing judging by the prices. I should be excited about it all but I am just constantly worried about money.

I wonder if anybody has any experience with using anti anxiety medication (in this case propranolol - daily) alongside anti depressants (40mg fluoxetine)?

This isn't me, but my lass.

I'm just after a bit of reassurance I suppose that this is all kosher and won't send her the wrong way. She knows I'm a little worried but behind her 100%, but I do feel like I need to talk about it - so thought I'd try here first, so as not to worry her.

She was on Flux when we met, and after about 6 months she decided she wanted to come off them. Gradually lowered her dosage and came off. To me she was really good, but to her, she soon felt she needed to go back on.

She's been back on 20mg of Flux for 2 months but mentally has been all over the place, they haven't levelled out and she has good days and bad days.

She asked me to go to the docs with her last night. He was sound, well versed in depression and gave me a lot of confidence.

He upped her dosage to 40mg Fluoxetine and also prescribed the daily Propranolol. On top of this she has her first CBT session on Friday.

I suppose I am worried that all of this at the same time might be overwhelming for my lass. At the same time I have confidence in the doctor and I doubt he would prescribe all of this if it was going to be too much.

She just texted me saying the Propranolol is well strong, she feels ketted and hyperactive. I worry that she's going from one extreme to the other where she is looking for the middle ground.

I know it's early days and I should be patient, I'm just a bit worried, so instead of stressing her out about it, I thought I'd type here.

Soz if it seems like a ramble. I'm at work and typing here on the sly.

Propanalol did nout for me when I was first on them for anxierty. Much better was diazepam, for which I was on a short course and then taking on an as and when basis, They can work much better taking the edge off the anxiety until hopefully the anti-depressants kick in. I'm on 40mg Citalopram, which I've mentioned before and that apparently has anti-anxiety properties.

It's also well worth looking into some relaxation CD's- a fella called Glenn Harold has some cracking ones which have been of help to me. Gotta listen 3/4 times a day for about 6 weeks. Also another couple of resources to help your lass, Al;

She tried Citalopram a couple of years ago but they didn't agree with her apparently. It really does seem to be a case of trial and error as far as medications go, which can be exhausting.

Citalopram reduced me to an absolute wreck - sweating, shivering, nervous as f***, unable to leave the house, totally non-functioning. Genuinely the worst few weeks of my life as the doctor got me to try different doses. I'd never want to go through that again. Which is odd as no other SSRI has done that to me.

re the beta blocker, I take bisoprolol, which is pretty much the same as propanolol, but for its blood pressure lowering power rather than anti-anxiety, and know that it is pretty common for people to take it alongside SSRIs, so I wouldn't worry about it.

She's not going to bother with the Beta Blockers anymore like. She had a nightmare day on them, and the doctor said he wouldn't be opposed to her not continuing. It was like she'd boshed an E and the next day was on a proper come down.

I was on citalopram for a few months with no adverse effects, that I recall anyway - until I decided to come off them. Within 2 or 3 days the bleakest darkest thought were appearing from nowhere. Started taking them again immediately and was ok again.

But then I got angry. I said to myself "This is f***ing ridiculous, I don't want to be depressed, I don't want to be on tablets!" Reduced the dose by 50% for a week (or two) and then stopped again. Got through it and have been off them for 3 or 4 years now, no bleak thoughts, not depressed.

Almost as if all I had to do was make a choice. Change my mind. I don't want to be depressed!

You have to ask, why are so many people becoming unhappy. The TV and media tell us every day we have everything we want, just have to buy it. Most of us are in jobs we'd rather not be doing, everything actually seems rather pointless in this plastic facade of a life.

I think we all have to find something we want to do. Whether it's making models out of matchsticks, painting a picture or walking in the woods, climbing a mountain. There has to be a point to life.

I know it is easier said than done, especially if you are currently in the depths of depression. But change your mind. Be angry. Say "I don't want to live like this." Make the change, it is YOUR life.

Yeah, my thoughts are pretty much the same. I'm thinking and thinking about doing something in my life that would give me my freedom back. A lifetime of answering calls, sitting in front of the computer for eight hours a day and building someone else's dreams?? Just f*** off!!

Unfortunately it is hard to find something to do in life that is financially right, gives you freedom and you're passionate about.

It is hard to do that, especially with the financially right caveat attached. I wasn't necessarilly talking about work though. You might still have to do a mediocre job, providing it isn't grinding your soul to dust just get on with it, but after work find the time to do something, or on the weekends.

Procrastination goes hand in hand with the depressive. What I found was doing something actually made me feel better, even good. Accomplishing a target, reaching a goal. It actually feels good and you notice it more if your recent state has been in the black.

I always subscribed to the "If life is meaningless go out and do something meaningful" but sometimes depression is a straitjacket that will not allow you to reach out. When its a chemical imbalance, you are at the mercy of the medication you are on as much as the illness itself. You should never, ever, reduce/stop any chemical intervention without medical advice. Some people can get away with doing that but even after a time, depression can come back at you like a cheese grater to the scrotum. But you are right about finding a point to aim at. Even the mundane can be tolerated with something to look forward to.

I went from 60 hours a week earning £45k + with no real issues, good wife that I love, great kid, nice house 2 cars, holidays wherever, and for some reason I was sick, pale, withdrawn and basically depressed.

I took a job teaching youngins £28k, great wife, fantastic kid, same house that I can just afford, same 2 cars and a holiday if where lucky. f***ing love it, I wake up on a morning before my alarm, get ready go downstairs toast, tea and off to work like I'm going on holiday, the people (students) are great the powers that be are the same old w*****s I'm used to, ofsted is a chore and bureaucracy is rampant.

People are the cure to depression snowflakes are delicate and week on their own but look what happens when they join together

Work to live, not the other way round. It's a simple and obvious principle but it's valuable to remind yourself of that sometimes. Sounds like you made one hell of a decision chopey. I doubt you give one flying f*** about the wage drop if you feel a world better - and nor should you give a f***. f*** money, man. Been controlling people for far too long.

Feeling really low at the minute, not sure why really as i have nothing major to be down about. Work I suppose is the main issue and maybe generally just being tired. Sat here typing now and i just feel anxious.

Feeling really low at the minute, not sure why really as i have nothing major to be down about. Work I suppose is the main issue and maybe generally just being tired. Sat here typing now and i just feel anxious.

I imagine that feeling is pretty commonplace. If it was something totally tangible then you could, in theory, sort it out. A lot of the time there's no immediately obvious reason.

Feeling really low at the minute, not sure why really as i have nothing major to be down about. Work I suppose is the main issue and maybe generally just being tired. Sat here typing now and i just feel anxious.

Know how ya feel, Always tired, feeling anxious when at work no matter what i'm doing, loss of confidence to some degree with no rational explanation for it - I have a fairly decent job although a fair bit of pressure, I have started struggling with focus and organisation and feeling things are getting on top of me / too much to do when really i'm not sure if there is too much to do.

I just can't put my finger on it but don't feel the same, have a lack of interest in things both at work and outside yet things are pretty good with an 18 month daughter, new house, financially in a reasonable place and no issues with family - just bizarre and doing my head in. Feel spaced out even when talking to my family and others close by as if i'm not really there or struggling to get the words out of my head. May not be totally same as you but I think i'm losing the plot.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Only usually have a drink every couple of month, so I think I'll be laying off for a bit. Should probably see about getting help for my everyday anxiety, I must admit. It's my anxiety that has me putting it off though ironically.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Alcohol is a depressent.

In the winter take loads of Vit D. Works.

That's not what depressant means, it's a biological term describing the effect on the CNS. It depresses the action of neurotransmitters in the nervous system, making you sluggish and less alert, in the opposite way to stimulants like caffeine and speed.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Alcohol is a depressent.

In the winter take loads of Vit D. Works.

That's not what depressant means, it's a biological term describing the effect on the CNS. It depresses the action of neurotransmitters in the nervous system, making you sluggish and less alert, in the opposite way to stimulants like caffeine and speed.

Aye.

Title: Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
Post by: a random player who doesn't even play for us any more on Sunday 15 February 2015, 02:19:02 PM

I suffer with both depression and anxiety from time to time and this is a great book:

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Alcohol is a depressent.

In the winter take loads of Vit D. Works.

That's not what depressant means, it's a biological term describing the effect on the CNS. It depresses the action of neurotransmitters in the nervous system, making you sluggish and less alert, in the opposite way to stimulants like caffeine and speed.

Yeah I know but it makes you 'feel' low which isn't helpful if you're suffering from depression. It's why speeding up the metabolism like going for fast walks or other exercise helps due to the body releasing endorphins and seratonin. I sufferred on and off from depression a few years ago and alcohol hides it while you're drinking but I found it came back twice as bad the next day.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

I get that off drinking too but usually only if I have two heavy sessions on consecutive days. It's awful like, I constantly have to remind myself that it's just due to the alcohol and I'll feel better in a day or two.

Currently taking medication for anxiety. It kinda happened randomly really, that episode a few weeks ago that I posted about in the Who's Ill thread seems to have been a panic attack. I'm thinking it might be alcohol related as I was in Manchester the weekend before hand and had 2 sessions in the pub both nights before. Also I had a few drinks last Friday and ended up having another attack on Monday. I dunno if it's just years of binging on drink at the weekend catching up on me but it's pretty out of the blue like. The tablets keep serotonin in my body. Can anyone who's taken these or had similar experiences give me any advice? How did it go? I've been on it 2 days now and i'm hoping the constant anxiety thats been with me since Monday will f*** off before I'm back in work next Monday evening. The 2nd PA happened in work, I'm worried that mentally I'll associate the office with panic attacks and they'll trigger when I go back in.

Currently taking medication for anxiety. It kinda happened randomly really, that episode a few weeks ago that I posted about in the Who's Ill thread seems to have been a panic attack. I'm thinking it might be alcohol related as I was in Manchester the weekend before hand and had 2 sessions in the pub both nights before. Also I had a few drinks last Friday and ended up having another attack on Monday. I dunno if it's just years of binging on drink at the weekend catching up on me but it's pretty out of the blue like. The tablets keep serotonin in my body. Can anyone who's taken these or had similar experiences give me any advice? How did it go? I've been on it 2 days now and i'm hoping the constant anxiety thats been with me since Monday will f*** off before I'm back in work next Monday evening. The 2nd PA happened in work, I'm worried that mentally I'll associate the office with panic attacks and they'll trigger when I go back in.

What tablets have the got you on? Seroxat? Paroxetine? I had a period of my mid 20s getting panic attacks, really debilitating and that was what the docs put me on, but it wasn't a good one for me. I ended up having a pretty bad time on that drug - waking one night from a violent nightmare dreaming I was being attacked and finding I'd punched my then girlfriend in the face a couple of times.

Bad times, they really were. :(

There's a homeopathic remedy called argentum nitrate (sold in Boots) which you can take and which will provide you with some respite. Bach's Rescue Remedy is also useful and worth a try. But really, at the end of it all, the fact is that anxiety is just one expression of a deep-seated depression and it's that which you need to do battle with. And I do mean "do battle" - it's something you have to tackle head on. I'd recommend looking at mindfulness-based cognitive behaviour therapy. It might seem a bit hippy-s*** but it's well worth investigating. In the meantime, if you're getting panic attacks try to carry a brown paper bag with you at all times and if you feel a panic attack coming on, take yourself away somewhere safe, where you can sit and just breathe into the bag, slow and steady until the symptoms dissipate. Quite often the onset of a panic attack will see your breathing get quicker and shallower and you're not getting enough carbon dioxide into the system. The breathing into a bag thing helps balance all that out. Don't get too down about all this. Yes you probably need to reduce your alcohol intake, but you'll find your natural rhythm on that sooner or later. Any time you want to chat about this, just PM me. Happy to help. I still suffer from panic attacks 20 years on, but not quite as severely as once I did. Things get better and you learn to cope better.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Currently taking medication for anxiety. It kinda happened randomly really, that episode a few weeks ago that I posted about in the Who's Ill thread seems to have been a panic attack. I'm thinking it might be alcohol related as I was in Manchester the weekend before hand and had 2 sessions in the pub both nights before. Also I had a few drinks last Friday and ended up having another attack on Monday. I dunno if it's just years of binging on drink at the weekend catching up on me but it's pretty out of the blue like. The tablets keep serotonin in my body. Can anyone who's taken these or had similar experiences give me any advice? How did it go? I've been on it 2 days now and i'm hoping the constant anxiety thats been with me since Monday will f*** off before I'm back in work next Monday evening. The 2nd PA happened in work, I'm worried that mentally I'll associate the office with panic attacks and they'll trigger when I go back in.

What tablets have the got you on? Seroxat? Paroxetine? I had a period of my mid 20s getting panic attacks, really debilitating and that was what the docs put me on, but it wasn't a good one for me. I ended up having a pretty bad time on that drug - waking one night from a violent nightmare dreaming I was being attacked and finding I'd punched my then girlfriend in the face a couple of times.

Bad times, they really were. :(

There's a homeopathic remedy called argentum nitrate (sold in Boots) which you can take and which will provide you with some respite. Bach's Rescue Remedy is also useful and worth a try. But really, at the end of it all, the fact is that anxiety is just one expression of a deep-seated depression and it's that which you need to do battle with. And I do mean "do battle" - it's something you have to tackle head on. I'd recommend looking at mindfulness-based cognitive behaviour therapy. It might seem a bit hippy-s*** but it's well worth investigating. In the meantime, if you're getting panic attacks try to carry a brown paper bag with you at all times and if you feel a panic attack coming on, take yourself away somewhere safe, where you can sit and just breathe into the bag, slow and steady until the symptoms dissipate. Quite often the onset of a panic attack will see your breathing get quicker and shallower and you're not getting enough carbon dioxide into the system. The breathing into a bag thing helps balance all that out. Don't get too down about all this. Yes you probably need to reduce your alcohol intake, but you'll find your natural rhythm on that sooner or later. Any time you want to chat about this, just PM me. Happy to help. I still suffer from panic attacks 20 years on, but not quite as severely as once I did. Things get better and you learn to cope better.

Thanks for the reply GM. I've been given citalopram. My problem right now is the "what if?" thoughts. I had one panic attack and now I'm anxious about having another, which is leading to another. It's a vicious circle. I'm not hyperventilating or anything, it's really just a dizziness then feeling like I'm going to faint and a rush to go somewhere to be alone immediately. f***ing horrible like. Has anyone else been wrecked for days after an attack? I've read they rarely last an hour but I'm an anxious wreck and dizzy as f*** for days after one. Hopefully that changes with these tablets but. I've been offered CBT as well so I'll probably ring and sort that out after Christmas if the issue persists.

Currently taking medication for anxiety. It kinda happened randomly really, that episode a few weeks ago that I posted about in the Who's Ill thread seems to have been a panic attack. I'm thinking it might be alcohol related as I was in Manchester the weekend before hand and had 2 sessions in the pub both nights before. Also I had a few drinks last Friday and ended up having another attack on Monday. I dunno if it's just years of binging on drink at the weekend catching up on me but it's pretty out of the blue like. The tablets keep serotonin in my body. Can anyone who's taken these or had similar experiences give me any advice? How did it go? I've been on it 2 days now and i'm hoping the constant anxiety thats been with me since Monday will f*** off before I'm back in work next Monday evening. The 2nd PA happened in work, I'm worried that mentally I'll associate the office with panic attacks and they'll trigger when I go back in.

What tablets have the got you on? Seroxat? Paroxetine? I had a period of my mid 20s getting panic attacks, really debilitating and that was what the docs put me on, but it wasn't a good one for me. I ended up having a pretty bad time on that drug - waking one night from a violent nightmare dreaming I was being attacked and finding I'd punched my then girlfriend in the face a couple of times.

Bad times, they really were. :(

There's a homeopathic remedy called argentum nitrate (sold in Boots) which you can take and which will provide you with some respite. Bach's Rescue Remedy is also useful and worth a try. But really, at the end of it all, the fact is that anxiety is just one expression of a deep-seated depression and it's that which you need to do battle with. And I do mean "do battle" - it's something you have to tackle head on. I'd recommend looking at mindfulness-based cognitive behaviour therapy. It might seem a bit hippy-s*** but it's well worth investigating. In the meantime, if you're getting panic attacks try to carry a brown paper bag with you at all times and if you feel a panic attack coming on, take yourself away somewhere safe, where you can sit and just breathe into the bag, slow and steady until the symptoms dissipate. Quite often the onset of a panic attack will see your breathing get quicker and shallower and you're not getting enough carbon dioxide into the system. The breathing into a bag thing helps balance all that out. Don't get too down about all this. Yes you probably need to reduce your alcohol intake, but you'll find your natural rhythm on that sooner or later. Any time you want to chat about this, just PM me. Happy to help. I still suffer from panic attacks 20 years on, but not quite as severely as once I did. Things get better and you learn to cope better.

Thanks for the reply GM. I've been given citalopram. My problem right now is the "what if?" thoughts. I had one panic attack and now I'm anxious about having another, which is leading to another. It's a vicious circle. I'm not hyperventilating or anything, it's really just a dizziness then feeling like I'm going to faint and a rush to go somewhere to be alone immediately. f***ing horrible like. Has anyone else been wrecked for days after an attack? I've read they rarely last an hour but I'm an anxious wreck and dizzy as f*** for days after one. Hopefully that changes with these tablets but. I've been offered CBT as well so I'll probably ring and sort that out after Christmas if the issue persists.

All very familiar symptoms mate, and yes, a panic attack can leave you feeling wiped out for a while afterwards. The "what if" thoughts are as you say part of a vicious cycle that you have to break if you want to get over this. CBT is the best way of achieving that in all likelihood, so worth exploring that as an option. With CBT you'll learn to unlearn the auto-pilot psychological and physiological responses that trap you in that vicious cycle, i.e. you'll learn to break and remodel behaviours that you're not even aware of in day to day life. The dizziness thing needs to be checked out by the GP, but most likely it's anxiety-related by the sounds of it, which is a good thing - even though it deosn't feel that way to you right now! If it's anxiety-related, then you can learn to respond to the sensation or perception of dizziness in a slightly more calm and less panicky way and it does actually break that cycle. Not saying it's easy by any stretch of the imagination, but right now, it sounds like you need a bit of hope - so I'm here to tell you that there is hope.

Thanks GM. A problem I'm having this week is a fear of being out in public. That's the last thing I need to happen so hopefully that passes with the medication as well. I was living with the symptoms fine until I had the second panic attack and I've just been a wreck since.

Have started getting horrific anxiety after a heavy night of drink. Usually lasts a couple of days and stems from not remembering things and the paranoia that goes with it. Barely slept last night because I was trying to piece together the night before, then the bits where there are blanks my brain is automatically jumping to the conclusion that I made a tit out of myself, which leads to more feelings of anxiety.

Thanks for the reply GM. I've been given citalopram. My problem right now is the "what if?" thoughts. I had one panic attack and now I'm anxious about having another, which is leading to another. It's a vicious circle. I'm not hyperventilating or anything, it's really just a dizziness then feeling like I'm going to faint and a rush to go somewhere to be alone immediately. f***ing horrible like. Has anyone else been wrecked for days after an attack? I've read they rarely last an hour but I'm an anxious wreck and dizzy as f*** for days after one. Hopefully that changes with these tablets but. I've been offered CBT as well so I'll probably ring and sort that out after Christmas if the issue persists.

I suffered with anxiety for months after getting a new job and then subsequently being let go because both my senior colleagues left. I struggled through it for months until I eventually went to the doctors, but I kept being fobbed off as there being nothing wrong and I just needed to snap out of it (to quote one of them, "you're in your twenties, live a little and forget about it").

This eventually turned into full blown depression another couple of months down the line, and lead to me splitting up with my girlfriend and having to sell my house (that really helped things as you can imagine). In the end I got to the point where I had to go back to the doctors as I was literally getting 15 minutes sleep a night, and they put me on Citalopram, which really did the trick. It took a little while to kick in but once it had it definitely made everything much clearer. I ended being on it for 6 months in the end but it really was good, and it was pretty easy to get off of once I didn't need it anymore. Hopefully your experience of the tablets will be as good as mine, fingers crossed for you mate.

Went out with my friends last night and I started having an attack. Went outside, took a few deep breaths and fought it out. My cousin was out with me and he had similar experiences and was on citalopram as well and talked me through it all. Told all my friends the craic and they were all really supportive. It felt great to get it off my chest and not be embarrassed about it. Also felt great successfully fighting it off just about 3 weeks into first having these experiences. The previous 2 times I just got away and let it get the better of me.

I have pretty bad social anxiety and it seems to get worse everyday. Living in NYC can be tough because I have to take the train multiple times a day and there are always people everywhere you go. I've always had it but had such a deafitist mentality that I thought there was nothing I could do about it until I started reading self help books and found out I could turn it around. And I did a bit. I have a girlfriend, a few friends, and could function pretty decent in social settings. But in the past six months or so it's been getting worse and worse. It seems like the more books I read, the more I think and those thoughts become negative. I'm okay at home but the moment I go outside I start comparing myself to others, start thinking everyone's looking at me and judging me. It's pretty much down to my lack of experiences that have me feeling this way.

A doctor prescribed me Zoloft which I took once, but my dick went soft that night so I didn't try it again. Has anyone had this experience? And if so, lets say you skip a day where you know you'll be having sex, will it be out of your system? I'm considering taking it again as a lot of people in this thread have had great success.

I was watching that MGTOW video that Kaizero posted last night which led me to the Grasseater culture in Japan and thought "I don't want that to be me". As a late bloomer myself, I can see myself getting frustrated and not trying anymore so I downloaded a CBT manual and will give it my best from now. Therapy sessions are like $150 for and hour here which I can't afford. If anyone has any good books, please post them.

Good luck to those suffering in this thread. Your posts have really helped me in looking for a solution.

I've never been on any medication so I'm guessing it's a symptom of the bloody depression rather than medication. Obviously this isn't helping my state of mind. It's been like that for nearly 2 years now. I haven't felt horny since 2011 as well.

Lack of motivation for most things. (Whether it's to read, watch movies, socialise, etc.)Lack of enjoyment of most things. (The only thing that I can enjoy a little bit still is gambling/matched betting.) Double vision.More irritant. Helplessness/despair.Loose skin.Lack of focus.Slower processing skills.Worse memory.(basically my cognitive function is f***ed up)Lack of sympathy and affection towards others. (Even family, for the later.)Constant ruminating/foul mood, for no particular reason.Mind is not there. (i.e - not paying attention to what's around me and it is simply drifting away.)Trouble sleeping.

Lack of motivation for most things. (Whether it's to read, watch movies, socialise, etc.)Lack of enjoyment of most things. (The only thing that I can enjoy a little bit still is gambling/matched betting.) Double vision.More irritant. Helplessness/despair.Loose skin.Lack of focus.Slower processing skills.Worse memory.(basically my cognitive function is f***ed up)Lack of sympathy and affection towards others. (Even family, for the later.)Constant ruminating/foul mood, for no particular reason.Mind is not there. (i.e - not paying attention to what's around me and it is simply drifting away.)Trouble sleeping.

Loose skin... I just noticed, around the period when those symptoms started to occur, looser skin on me. Nothing noticeable to others, just to me.

Other symptoms also include:

Lack of attraction to opposite sex. (I'm not turning gay or anything, just that I don't feel the same towards women/sex. It's like there's no feeling occurring when thinking about them/being near them.(rare!) )

Been a while since I posted in here. Some good practical things to do, have been posted (plenty deep breathing and relaxation) I'm on 40mg Citalopram a day. It's an SSRI which also has anti-anxiety properties, but it's worth remembering that it takes 6-8 weeks for them to start kicking in proper and it actually might make the anxiety worse, as the Serotonin levels in your brain increase. It's important to battle through this period, as I did. :thup:

It really is an awful thing when it takes ahold. :( As I've no doubt said in here in the past - s****-ing yourself (for no apparent reason) from the moment you wake up, until you manage to go to sleep at night, is so psychologically draining. :( Even when you are well again, it can take some months to recover properly.

It really is an awful thing when it takes ahold. :( As I've no doubt said in here in the past - s****-ing yourself (for no apparent reason) from the moment you wake up, until you manage to go to sleep at night, is so psychologically draining. :( Even when you are well again, it can take some months to recover properly.

The confusing thing for me, pre depression, I was slightly anxious in public. (Caused poor interpersonal skills at that time) But now, in the middle of a more severe depression, I'm quite confident in public with better interpersonal skills, I don't know why.

I don't know if they're connected or not, to be honest, but there you go.

This s*** is the worst. Feel like today is an all time high and I'm struggling to work. The work I do allows me to work from anywhere so I choose to work at a shared co working space. It increases productivity, but I think I'm going to go back to working from home. The moment I'm in public, my head goes all over the place and I can't keep the negative thoughts and judgments down.

I can't concentrate at work and frequently I can't process sentences quickly enough. It gets better when I go back home. Basically I need to be in "my environment" in order to function properly these days.

I'm struggling with the idea of going back to work. I work 12 hour shifts and haven't been out of the house for more than a couple of hours at a time in the last week and a half. Been on Citalopram 2 weeks and a day. Doctor said it'd take 2-3 weeks to work and I was feeling grand for a couple of days there then since about 4pm yesterday I've been bad again. It's so s*** like, especially at this time of the year. I think my Christmas will be limited to no drinking and about 2 hours with the family on Christmas Day.

Decky - part of dealing with the anxiety/depression, is that you are gonna get good days, but bad days too. It's all part of the recovery process. On the bad days - aye, you might feel like s*** but it will pass. :thup:

Currently taking medication for anxiety. It kinda happened randomly really, that episode a few weeks ago that I posted about in the Who's Ill thread seems to have been a panic attack. I'm thinking it might be alcohol related as I was in Manchester the weekend before hand and had 2 sessions in the pub both nights before. Also I had a few drinks last Friday and ended up having another attack on Monday. I dunno if it's just years of binging on drink at the weekend catching up on me but it's pretty out of the blue like. The tablets keep serotonin in my body. Can anyone who's taken these or had similar experiences give me any advice? How did it go? I've been on it 2 days now and i'm hoping the constant anxiety thats been with me since Monday will f*** off before I'm back in work next Monday evening. The 2nd PA happened in work, I'm worried that mentally I'll associate the office with panic attacks and they'll trigger when I go back in.

I think the thing a lot of people don't get about anxiety is that for most people it is not anxiety of something bad happening that triggers attacks, it is actually anxiety that you will be anxious - it is effectively a circular thing which feeds of itself.

One of the situations I've had problems in is long queues in airports, for example.

When i start to shake and sweat like f*** and feel like I have to get away from there, I am not anxious that something horrible is going to happen - I don't get anxious someone is going to start shooting people, that the roof will fall in, that something bad will happen to me.

What I get anxious about is the thought that I will get anxious - and that is the most insidious feature of anxiety. It is a vicious circle, a spiral which feeds on itself. Thinking "oh god, i am going to have an anxiety attack" inevitably means you will have one.

It has been 20 years or so since I first got it. I was in Nice, of all places, on a work jolly. Having a really nice day, walking down the street with some colleagues, not a care in the world.

Out of nowhere i started feeling really dizzy. Then i started shaking and sweating. I managed to get my friends to sit down for a bit while I tried to feel better, but I felt so awful I genuinely thought i'd struggle to manage the 30 minute train journey back where we were staying.

After that it became "anxious of being anxious" for me.

I've got loads of situations I have had problems in in the past. Really stupid ones. Anything involving a situation where I can't "get out", for example. Which makes work interesting at times - long meetings, for example. Then there is queueing up anywhere - supermarket / airport / anywhere.

Being in restaurants is another one i get a lot. I get anxious and sweaty a fair bit right up until the food arrives, at which point i relax.

It is f***ing nuts. I read myself writing this and think, I am a 47 year old man, I've got a masters degree, I speak a few languages, I've run my own business, I've got a good well paid job, yet I have a list of truly mundane environments and situations which make me anxious as f***. There is no reason to be that way, it just is.

I've taken loads of different meds over the last 20 years which have helped to varying degrees. Some of them did nothing - prozac, for example. Others made me significantly worse - citalopram reduced me to totally being unable to function, couldn't sleep without waking up with the worst attacks, could barely leave the house at times, it was that bad.

The "med" I have used the most is booze, though. And that's another thing that makes anxiety / depression really bad. Booze is a great way to treat it. A glass of red wine and I instantly feel better.

What I have come to understand, though, is you absolutely have to get the balance right. If i drink too much, the next day my anxiety will return. If I get p*ssed, I can honestly not really function the next day. Booze is both the best and the worst cure.

When I was a student, I used to think this was just me suffering from awful hangovers. What I now realise it was, looking back - to a time and an age when i had never had any issues with anxiety or depression - was that getting p*ssed basically made me ridiculously anxious the next day.

These days it comes and goes with me. I'm currently in a really good period, not having any major issues. Sure, it never goes away totally. I had to take the cat to the vet's this week and being in that little stuffy room made me start to feel pretty anxious. Watching Villa makes me anxious. But then again, that's hardly f***ing surprising.

I have basically had to accept that it is always going to be part of my life. I feel it has held me back at times - my career has been more up and down than i would have liked because of the way your confidence comes and goes with the anxiety. Having said that, I've got a really good job by pretty much anyone's standards, and earn a very good salary, so I still consider myself lucky in that sense.

Two pieces of advice I'd give to anyone starting to struggle with anxiety.

One is find things which make it worse and stop doing them. If these are things that make you worse, don't get p*ssed, don't smoke, don't take drugs.

The other - and this is the biggie - is do not give up.

No matter how hard it is, do not start to avoid certain situations.

Do not start to stay in the house because it is easier.

Make yourself do the things that trigger attacks for you, force yourself to do them. It will be horrible, especially at first, but believe me, hiding away, giving in is the worst thing you can do.

Every time you manage to cope with a situation every bone in your body is telling you to run away from, every time you do it, every single time, you will feel a tiny little bit stronger for it.

Oh, and, I know this is contrary to the fact that you're reading this on the internet, but seriously, do not start to spend long periods of time reading about / discussing anxiety on the internet. It'll help in ways, yes, but immerse yourself in it too much and it will start to feed that cycle of anxiety.

So I've just been reading Brummie's above post and found myself nodding along to an awful lot of it.

In the past month or 2, I've had what I'm assuming are anxiety attacks. Quite randomly about 6 weeks ago, I suddenly start feeling light headed, weak and a feeling of dread came over me. I can say sincerely that I can't name something that would make me feel like that, there wasn't a particular issue that would have caused me to worry so much.

For the most part it was normal for the next few weeks, then it happened again. I ended up going to hospital as it was out of normal GP hours, but was told not to worry, and that my heart/blood pressure were pretty normal. I was genuinely worried I was having a TIA or something.

Since then it has come and gone, for the most part things are normal but occasionally I feel like there's some sort of grey cloud wrapped around me which is causing me to feel anxious for reasons beyond my understanding. Like Brummie says, it's almost a cycle of feeling anxious because I fear becoming more anxious, and it's a nasty cycle to get into, I keep having thoughts about what if something really bad is happening with my body, why does my head feel heavy / light, pondering worst case scenarios - which I know is a stupid mentality to have. And the fact I know it's a stupid mentality to have then causes more anxiety, if that makes any sense.

A lot of the time I don't think much is noticeable and as I say it comes and goes - the majority of the time things have been normal, and I'm enjoying plenty of things as usual. Drink definitely exacerbates it though so I'm cutting down on that. Don't think it's a cause but no doubt it makes me a lot more suspecttible to feeling like this in the following 24-48 hours.

One thing to add is one positive thing to come from this period is I've really altered my diet for the better. Massively cut down on s**** and eating a lot better which in itself is making me feel a bit more positive about things.

Anyway, going to see the docs this week and try to get a more satisfactory answer or pointing me in a more helpful direction.

I'm sure plenty on here are going through a lot worse or have gone through a lot worse, and I'm in awe at the strength shown by so many people on here tbh. As I say 90% of the time things are normal as ever but even if it is a minority of the time but I need to work out what's going on.

Just wanted to get it off my chest really. Keep looking after each other everyone. :thup:

- get yourself some Bach's Rescue Remedy and take a few drops whenever you feel a bit uptight and panicky- download the Headspace app on your phone and do the first ten days free and see if you feel a bit better and able to cope after that- have a paper bag on you at all times in case you get another panic attack and breathe into it slowly and calmly until you recover- sort out your diet and exercise regime - keep doing everything else you're doing

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

I never had anxiety attacks even though depression - mild, moderate and then severe - has been a problem of mine since my early 20's - but back then I used to get quite nervous in public, actually. (That's generally the most anxious I've been.) However, now - in my early 30's, I don't actually feel the slightest nervous and I'm quite "confident" in public. (However, I believe this "confidence" is nothing more than a manifestation of my chronic frustration of life and better understanding of it.)

For a while I thought this evolution from a quite nervous teenager/twenty something to, on the face of it, confident and self-assured person (in public), a person that no longer feels slight anxiety and nervousness, was down to simply getting older.

However, thinking about it some more.... I believe it could because I no longer able to experience "feelings" (apart from frustration, sadness and anger!) as I'm also rarely enjoying anything that I do. (The closest that comes to enjoyment is bloody betting! :facepalm: :lol: ) The fact that I'm also losing the feelings of affection for my family members, hobbies and interests and the opposite sex (not saying I'm turning gay!) is, for me, a definite confirmation that I'm experiencing some sort of "emotional numbness".

I laugh and makes jokes with friends and colleagues - yes, but the enjoyment is not there. I believe this is the same case for my apparent disappearance of public anxiety - it hasn't gone away - it's simply that I'm not feeling it anymore.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

So I've just been reading Brummie's above post and found myself nodding along to an awful lot of it.

In the past month or 2, I've had what I'm assuming are anxiety attacks. Quite randomly about 6 weeks ago, I suddenly start feeling light headed, weak and a feeling of dread came over me. I can say sincerely that I can't name something that would make me feel like that, there wasn't a particular issue that would have caused me to worry so much.

For the most part it was normal for the next few weeks, then it happened again. I ended up going to hospital as it was out of normal GP hours, but was told not to worry, and that my heart/blood pressure were pretty normal. I was genuinely worried I was having a TIA or something.

Since then it has come and gone, for the most part things are normal but occasionally I feel like there's some sort of grey cloud wrapped around me which is causing me to feel anxious for reasons beyond my understanding. Like Brummie says, it's almost a cycle of feeling anxious because I fear becoming more anxious, and it's a nasty cycle to get into, I keep having thoughts about what if something really bad is happening with my body, why does my head feel heavy / light, pondering worst case scenarios - which I know is a stupid mentality to have. And the fact I know it's a stupid mentality to have then causes more anxiety, if that makes any sense.

A lot of the time I don't think much is noticeable and as I say it comes and goes - the majority of the time things have been normal, and I'm enjoying plenty of things as usual. Drink definitely exacerbates it though so I'm cutting down on that. Don't think it's a cause but no doubt it makes me a lot more suspecttible to feeling like this in the following 24-48 hours.

Great post Neil, I've experienced a lot of symptoms you've mentioned myself. No particular reason why either, I can be having a perfectly normal day and all of a sudden I'll get that drop feeling in my gut, the one that catches you're breath. Sometimes have a numbness in my tongue as well which happens at the same time - weird I know but it sends me into panic mode. I'll quickly try and distract myself and Generally settle down back into normal state.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

Thank you GM. :thup: Never even heard of that rescue remedy but by the sounds of it it's well worth a try. As for diet/exercise, I think that's one thing that has actually been a source of positive focus recently as I've made some major sustainable, positive changes to how I'm living.

This s*** kills people. If it works for someone, then great, but if they start recommending other people use it instead of getting actual medical help then I take issue. If I told a cancer patient to use homeopathy because it worked for me, I'd be rightly shouted down - people have died because they use homeopathy and don't get chemo. Mental health is a serious issue too - how many people's mental states have got worse because they tried diluted flower petals instead of visiting a doctor?

This s*** kills people. If it works for someone, then great, but if they start recommending other people use it instead of getting actual medical help then I take issue. If I told a cancer patient to use homeopathy because it worked for me, I'd be rightly shouted down - people have died because they use homeopathy and don't get chemo. Mental health is a serious issue too - how many people's mental states have got worse because they tried diluted flower petals instead of visiting a doctor?

This s*** kills people. If it works for someone, then great, but if they start recommending other people use it instead of getting actual medical help then I take issue. If I told a cancer patient to use homeopathy because it worked for me, I'd be rightly shouted down - people have died because they use homoeopathy and don't get chemo. Mental health is a serious issue too - how many people's mental states have got worse because they tried diluted flower petals instead of visiting a doctor?

You're right not to tiptoe round the point and I mostly agree with you. However, I chewed bach's daft petal pastilles every now and then for a couple of months and they were useful to some degree and were better than nothing, this being before I started therapy and real medication. I think they have some value in this case before you actually go to a doctor but shouldn't give reason to put off doing so. Clenching of muscles and holding breath techniques were probably more effective but placebos had their use alongside it, though belong at the bottom of the list of recommendations.

EDIT: I should state again that placebos should not replace nor delay seeking genuine medical help.

I think GM only recommended it as something to take to calm yourself down a bit, like. I've heard a lot of people have positive experiences with it as well, although I've not touched it myself. The smallest of things can have a big impact when dealing with anxiety so if someone finds something that works for them then just let them go for it.

The thing is, the placebo effect works. Trials have proven it to work. One of the key factors in the success of a placebo is down to the attitude of the Dr. If the patient is convinced by the Dr then there is a much higher chance of a successful result from placebo.

Placebos don't have side-effects, unlike some anti-depressants. Exercise and support helps too. There ARE many alternatives to try without turning to the supposed quick fix of a pharma drug. (BTW, don't take cannabis, but here have this potentially more dangerous drug instead because we make lots of money from selling/prescribing this one).

Listen to Gwen Olsen, a top echelon pharmacutical sales rep, tell you about anti-depressants - then consider all the other methods you might like to consider and try first.PS I say all this as someone who used to take citalopram, I understand the difficulties involved in motivating yourself to do anything or stick to it. Depression takes procrastination to olympic levels.

I think GM only recommended it as something to take to calm yourself down a bit, like. I've heard a lot of people have positive experiences with it as well, although I've not touched it myself. The smallest of things can have a big impact when dealing with anxiety so if someone finds something that works for them then just let them go for it.

Aye. At least someone got what I was saying the way I meant it to be understood. Cheers man :thup:

Not interested in getting hooked into a debate about the merits of homeopathic medicine. It worked for me and that was all I was doing - recommending something that might help.

You're right not to tiptoe round the point and I mostly agree with you. However, I chewed bach's daft petal pastilles every now and then for a couple of months and they were useful to some degree and were better than nothing, this being before I started therapy and real medication.

Those actually have something in them though - there's a difference between natrual remedies, which at least contain a substance which is said anecdotally or otherwise to help, and homeopathy which is literally just water that's had a ritual carried out over it.

I feel like I need to get this off my chest and I do use this thread for reference to other peoples experiences. For 2 years or so I've been battling with depression. I even had an admission to psychiatric unit although that was at the the very beginning. I've went through all the counselling and have had the depression sort of under control for this period.

Recently I've developed really intense problems with anxiety. Scared to leave my house and having panic attacks at night time through the fear of leaving the comfort of home. I get a horrible feeling that if I left the house I wouldn't come back. I have visited my GP who is always great with me and he's put me on 50mg of sertaline that I take on a morning and itnleaves me feeling like a zombie. I'd just like to ask if anyone else has been backed in to this corner and what is their own experience at getting out of it? My family do know of my struggles but sometimes I don't think they realise just how anxious I get.

I'd recommend getting in to see a psychiatrist. A general practitioner isn't best suited to help.

Yeah, in this country the best a GP can do is give you meds and put you on the waiting list for therapy. And it takes a while to get in to see a therapist, as in months and months.

Only thing I can suggest on top of that is just making an effort to look after yourself as much as you can until this levels out and/or you get to see a therapist. Plenty of fruit, water, bit of exercise. Quit or cut down drinking.

I feel like I need to get this off my chest and I do use this thread for reference to other peoples experiences. For 2 years or so I've been battling with depression. I even had an admission to psychiatric unit although that was at the the very beginning. I've went through all the counselling and have had the depression sort of under control for this period.

Recently I've developed really intense problems with anxiety. Scared to leave my house and having panic attacks at night time through the fear of leaving the comfort of home. I get a horrible feeling that if I left the house I wouldn't come back. I have visited my GP who is always great with me and he's put me on 50mg of sertaline that I take on a morning and itnleaves me feeling like a zombie. I'd just like to ask if anyone else has been backed in to this corner and what is their own experience at getting out of it? My family do know of my struggles but sometimes I don't think they realise just how anxious I get.

I took sertraline for a long while, had pretty much the same pattern as you except didn't go to a psychiatric unit but did have to be intervened by the crisis team at one point. I gained a lot of weight and was zombiefied but time/ exercising and occupying yourself in life helps more than anything then you will be weened off them and touch wood 5 years after that I feel a lot better back to normal for a long time now

I appreciate all the replies thanks for that. I have only uses the sertraline for a couple weeks but I do understand I'm probably close to being over the worst of it.

I've used a psychiatrist in the past and actually massively beneficial at the time and guided me out the darkest place of my life. The problem I'm having with that at the is I'm not ready for it at the moment. Hopefully if the meds balance me out a bit I'll pursue it. My GP though has been great and has dealt with me for a few years and is extremely empathatic to my situation and he makes me feel comfortable which is a big thing for me.

I have lurked on this thread for a while and posted in it once upon time. Just to get some thoughtful and first hand responses from strangers on the internet is quite comforting and in many ways overwhelming.Thank you, this really is the best board on the Internet.

The sertraline will definitely level out if it's anything like my experience. First week or 2 it was overwhelming though and actually worsened matters in the short term as I had to take time off work as I was suddenly in no fit state to be there. After that though I found it helped me to tackle one thing at a time rather than worrying about it all at once. I sort of f***ed it by drinking too much at the time mind, would recommend dodging that sort of thing if you can.

It's a big plus if your GP is being of some use to you. Know what you mean about wanting to be ready for therapy, that's fair but try not to let that become another worry in the meantime. It's good that you've recognised it and appear to be pretty conscientious about getting your mental health back on track.

Very insightful thread - think I'll give my story here, and would be more than happy for anyone who has any advice or help.

Four years ago I damaged my left ear due to loud music and took too long to get the correct diagnosis, because of that I kept damaging it more without a clue. Sadly I ended up with very bad tinnitus (ear ringing), which sunk me into a state of anxiety and depression as I am in a music related job. Thoughts of what if I have to quit, what if this gets worse etc. Eventually I got over the tinnitus with the help of something called Tinnitus retraining therapy (the change of reaction to tinnitus is the only 'cure'). Unfortunately I had developed stomach problems by then, chronic ones and things got worse and worse, body trembling etc

Long story short, I am with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder today (Pure 'O', No physical compulsions) and Health anxiety. I've tried some CBT and its good to learn some of the techniques to not make anxiety worse. I'm also on my fourth week of Escitalopram and if im honest, I feel nothing, makes me feel worse if anything. Been perscribed Bromazepam last week to go along with it, but no difference.

Looking into mindfulness now and will be going to see the Psychiatrist again soon to see whats the deal or if he can prescribe me something else.

I seem to be struggling so much lately. Low mood, not sleeping, constantly worrying about every tiny thing. I've always just muddled on through in the past with pep talks to myself and a strong game face but I think it may be time to seek professional input. I was at a work event yesterday for the whole company and even just being in the room (it was a presentation but I didn't have to do anything) made me so twitchy and nervous I couldn't wait to get out. Which is completely stupid because I was just sitting on a chair with people I've known for like 12 years and I've never had a problem at busy gigs/matches etc.

I spent all of my teenage years with a constant feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and it has come and gone in the years since but this time it's really taking its toll.

Citalopram is actually pretty good, when it comes to managing anxiety. Got to give it 6-8 weeks to kick in properly. What I would say is that it's not a magic bullet, but along with doing regular relaxation and possibly talking therapies -it's can really help. :)

i'm a gp with an interest in mental health.i will say that if you find drugs such as citalopram and sertraline to have unbearable side effects that go on for more than 10 days - just leave a message for your gp and they would gladly prescribe an alternative without the need for an appointment. sertraline tends to cause more problems than citaopram but they are both equally effective drugs. if you dont start to feel better at 4-6 weeks, you need to change drug.also make sure you have arranged a follow up appointment before leaving the gp's room. you should be going back at least every 2weeks initially.if anyone has any questions about mental illness or medication and are embarrassed to ask, please pm me.

also make sure you find a gp you can trust and be open with. sometimes having an outsider just listen and not judge is more helpful than medication. follow up appointments are really important. knowing that you are going to see your gp again in the next week or two can often get you through really difficult times - there's not the need for you have to ring up and try and make an appointment and argue with a receptionist which people with mental health problems dont often have the energy or motivation to do and a rut sets in.

Not sure if this is the best place to put this, but I'm 3 days into a two week holiday in Crete and I'm feeling a bit homesick and anxious. I'm 26 ffs :lol: The days are just incredibly long and the place is pretty quiet, so not sure how much sunbathing and chilling I can handle. Any advice ?

Not sure if this is the best place to put this, but I'm 3 days into a two week holiday in Crete and I'm feeling a bit homesick and anxious. I'm 26 ffs :lol: The days are just incredibly long and the place is pretty quiet, so not sure how much sunbathing and chilling I can handle. Any advice ?

Not sure if this is the best place to put this, but I'm 3 days into a two week holiday in Crete and I'm feeling a bit homesick and anxious. I'm 26 ffs :lol: The days are just incredibly long and the place is pretty quiet, so not sure how much sunbathing and chilling I can handle. Any advice ?

Hire a quad and go explore some of the nearby sights? I've just been to Kos and found that very freeing and broke up the holiday nicely.

Back on my sertraline. Can't function without it. Was off it for a year but gradually got worse and worse again. s*** but it might just be the way I am.

It certainly is not, your only birthright is the right to be in peace with your human existence. In fact, it's not even considerable as a "right", because that peace or answer one seeks desperately in moments of anxiety actually lies in oneself, even though you can't really appreciate it at the moment.

I'm doing something which most people have done - move to a new city. I think ny mental state is beyond simple new city anxiety. It's not really homesickness because I remember being unemployed, bored and missing my gf. Yet I miss something. Now I'm near her but I fear other things, like being too needy or even having one night apart. This is ridiculous. Not sleeping properly, barely eating & just dont have the mood for anything.

Then there's the fear that my temp job wont be extended and I'll have to move home in November, away from her. I'm just worrying about anything and everything at all moments. What do I do? Just wait for it to maybe go away? I just dont even know what situation would make me happy right now.

Are you taking time away from distractions, like your phone, this forum, the Internet etc? It's crucial you have time set aside for your brain to work stuff out and make logical conclusions about situations in your life.

Are you taking time away from distractions, like your phone, this forum, the Internet etc? It's crucial you have time set aside for your brain to work stuff out and make logical conclusions about situations in your life.

Have a ready of a book called Mindfulness in Plain English. It's simple, to the point and easy to read. What you're going through is normal enough, my friend.

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk

Thanks, it doesn't feel normal but then again it's a new experience. I actually don't have Wifi in my flat yet and I'm hoping that will help with recovery. It's not loneliness, not homesickness, not yet a job problem. It's just too much change and too much thinking about the future.

Try to acknowledge how often you've been wrong with your expectations in the past, I've often fallen into a rut where I've expected the worst about every situation big or small and it rarely materialises. It's wasted energy and it makes you ill. Also if you have any resentments towards people then try to cancel them out sharpish. It's all about living in the present rather than dwelling on the past or dreading the future, it's bloody difficult though at times. When I'm in that mode I feel like things will never get better. But they actually will.

It is making me ill, yeah. Don't hold anything against anyone though, as you say, I'm just fearing the future. Back home was rubbish but I pretended I was happy. Maybe I'm relying too much on one person.

Started on citalopram this morning and going to see about therapy too.

Feel sick as a dog already. :yao: I can see the next 2 weeks at work being an absolute nightmare. After that I've got a week off.

How are you getting on Jill? The first month of citalopram was f***ing brutal for me. Couldn't move some days. Ultimately though im going to work and all fine again and doing well. Wasn't too keen on the therapy though and gave up on it after about 5 sessions, might try it again with a different person. Good luck with it. :thup:

I stopped doing it as the only time in the day I can do it, with no one around :lol:, is just before I go to bed - by which time I'm just too tired. (Tiredness and lack of mental energy is another symptom I've noticed recently, so...)

However, ever since going through the initial phase of practising this, I've ruminated less.

I'm still struggling and cant help going against IP's advice of focusing on the present. I realise I only moved to London to be near my girlfriend and it seems like we have different visions on how often to see each other - was under the impression we'd hang out a lot, she wants her own space and lots of gym time. I get that, but be reasonable - you know I dont need to hear that right now.

The job sucks, time drags, I live alone and only just realised I have no hobbies or motivation to get any. Home was becoming a struggle but I miss it. Already sub-consciously counting down to giving up, but she has no intention of ever going back to Newcastle. And she'll lose all respect for me if I give up, leading to the inevitable break-up. Lose-lose. So I have to stay, unfortunately.

That sounds similar to a situation that I've been in and it's a very difficult when you've got conflicting emotional ties competing with each other and you're just there in the middle, not really committing to any of them and feeling horrendous about it all. In the end, me and my girlfriend broke up (before I moved down south) and it was, to this day, still the most gut-wrenchingly difficult thing that I've ever gone through, and that was 11 years ago, but it was the right decision and I look back on that time in my life with nothing but fondness because it's there in a time capsule unspoiled and unchanged. I can honestly say that at that time I was truly happy. Alas...

How long have you been down there Kets? Just wondering whether it might be a part of the teething period and you might just need to acclimatise? When I went through a course of therapy/medication, one of my main issues was feeling that I had no hobbies and no motivation to get any, so I totally empathise with you on that one - I had low mood about not being creative. The dawn of realisation for me was about overcoming my defeatist attitude to activities. I realised that I would convince myself that I didn't want to do things, then I'd be disappointed in myself afterwards, it was weird. Sertraline helped me to stop the sort of defeatist attitude that I had and to start to feel a bit more well-rounded and to accept who I am rather than trying to be someone I perhaps wish I was, but am not, and also give me a bit of a push towards doing fun things. I've stopped taking them now and I feel fine, is that a road that you've thought about going down? Apologies if this stuff has already been answered by you earlier btw.

I suffer from health anxiety and after a series of gastrointestinal problems recently it's totally spiked to the point where I've convinced myself I've got allsorts. At several points today I've almost been in tears thinking about what it could be etc. Really struggling to put it to one side while I get my bloods looked at but I can't seem to distract myself or socialise. We've not long had a baby and I feel I'm being totally selfish thinking his way but I can't help it. It's f***ing horrible. Just want to disappear.

I suffer from health anxiety and after a series of gastrointestinal problems recently it's totally spiked to the point where I've convinced myself I've got allsorts. At several points today I've almost been in tears thinking about what it could be etc. Really struggling to put it to one side while I get my bloods looked at but I can't seem to distract myself or socialise. We've not long had a baby and I feel I'm being totally selfish thinking his way but I can't help it. It's f***ing horrible. Just want to disappear.

That sounds s***, Rocker. Nothing but good thoughts for you and yours.

That sounds similar to a situation that I've been in and it's a very difficult when you've got conflicting emotional ties competing with each other and you're just there in the middle, not really committing to any of them and feeling horrendous about it all. In the end, me and my girlfriend broke up (before I moved down south) and it was, to this day, still the most gut-wrenchingly difficult thing that I've ever gone through, and that was 11 years ago, but it was the right decision and I look back on that time in my life with nothing but fondness because it's there in a time capsule unspoiled and unchanged. I can honestly say that at that time I was truly happy. Alas...

How long have you been down there Kets? Just wondering whether it might be a part of the teething period and you might just need to acclimatise? When I went through a course of therapy/medication, one of my main issues was feeling that I had no hobbies and no motivation to get any, so I totally empathise with you on that one - I had low mood about not being creative. The dawn of realisation for me was about overcoming my defeatist attitude to activities. I realised that I would convince myself that I didn't want to do things, then I'd be disappointed in myself afterwards, it was weird. Sertraline helped me to stop the sort of defeatist attitude that I had and to start to feel a bit more well-rounded and to accept who I am rather than trying to be someone I perhaps wish I was, but am not, and also give me a bit of a push towards doing fun things. I've stopped taking them now and I feel fine, is that a road that you've thought about going down? Apologies if this stuff has already been answered by you earlier btw.

Only been down a week so maybe it is too early. But it's been the worst week of my life. The bit in bold is exactly how I feel too - basically I'd rather spend time with her than do anything else. Her attitude is healthier but, when down, I read that as her not liking me. So weird.

That sounds similar to a situation that I've been in and it's a very difficult when you've got conflicting emotional ties competing with each other and you're just there in the middle, not really committing to any of them and feeling horrendous about it all. In the end, me and my girlfriend broke up (before I moved down south) and it was, to this day, still the most gut-wrenchingly difficult thing that I've ever gone through, and that was 11 years ago, but it was the right decision and I look back on that time in my life with nothing but fondness because it's there in a time capsule unspoiled and unchanged. I can honestly say that at that time I was truly happy. Alas...

How long have you been down there Kets? Just wondering whether it might be a part of the teething period and you might just need to acclimatise? When I went through a course of therapy/medication, one of my main issues was feeling that I had no hobbies and no motivation to get any, so I totally empathise with you on that one - I had low mood about not being creative. The dawn of realisation for me was about overcoming my defeatist attitude to activities. I realised that I would convince myself that I didn't want to do things, then I'd be disappointed in myself afterwards, it was weird. Sertraline helped me to stop the sort of defeatist attitude that I had and to start to feel a bit more well-rounded and to accept who I am rather than trying to be someone I perhaps wish I was, but am not, and also give me a bit of a push towards doing fun things. I've stopped taking them now and I feel fine, is that a road that you've thought about going down? Apologies if this stuff has already been answered by you earlier btw.

Only been down a week so maybe it is too early. But it's been the worst week of my life. The bit in bold is exactly how I feel too - basically I'd rather spend time with her than do anything else. Her attitude is healthier but, when down, I read that as her not liking me. So weird.

So you'd recommend Sertraline? How long did it take you to be happy?

In my personal experience sertraline takes around a month to kick in fully and have you reaping the benefits. I was loving life on sertraline until I suffered a skin rash and had to be taken off it.

It honestly didn't feel like it did a lot for me at the time because I was expecting it to be like pills and for me to be euphoric :lol: , but it's more that it compresses your mood, so less low mood, but also less high mood, just sort of fine with it all. It's described as something that alters your wiring - so it'll change your (not your's specifically) maybe more pessimistic leanings towards things, and I did find that. I was on it from about October last year until May-ish and I do feel a lot happier now, but how much of that is to do with my circumstances now compared to then, I'm not sure. I do recommend it though, not something you're likely to get addicted to either.

Still reluctant to use pills manly to potential side effects such as weight gain, potential sexual difficulties, etc. I know they sound trivial comparing to your mood and happiness - but I consider those factors as important to forming the person I want to be and live the life that I want to live. (Which may never happen anyway! :yao: But I got to keep trying.)

So after saying just the other week how I was feeling so much better I've taken a real turn for the worse. Hit the drink far too hard for about a week and struggling a lot with anxiety/panic and some really dark thoughts. Had to call in sick today just to get my head right but instead of making up a stupid excuse I've actually told my team leader the truth so at least it's kind of "out there" now. One day at a time.

So after saying just the other week how I was feeling so much better I've taken a real turn for the worse. Hit the drink far too hard for about a week and struggling a lot with anxiety/panic and some really dark thoughts. Had to call in sick today just to get my head right but instead of making up a stupid excuse I've actually told my team leader the truth so at least it's kind of "out there" now. One day at a time.

Sorry to hear Jill.

I've had a couple of bad weeks as well, really really stressed out at work. Told work my intention to leave due to a number of reasons.

Just try to ride it out for the time being I guess, things will get better. Try to look after yourselves if you want to expedite this - get the right amount of sleep, maybe do some exercise, eat well and lay off the drink.

Just try to ride it out for the time being I guess, things will get better. Try to look after yourselves if you want to expedite this - get the right amount of sleep, maybe do some exercise, eat well and lay off the drink.

Already doing those things mate, got some counselling a few months back for stress and anxiety which seemed to have worked but I've been doing stupid hours at work recently and it's made be totally fed up and mentally gone.

So after saying just the other week how I was feeling so much better I've taken a real turn for the worse. Hit the drink far too hard for about a week and struggling a lot with anxiety/panic and some really dark thoughts. Had to call in sick today just to get my head right but instead of making up a stupid excuse I've actually told my team leader the truth so at least it's kind of "out there" now. One day at a time.

I was prescribed them last week and warned that the first few weeks could be rough. It's day 6 and i'm in a proper slump - can't stop pining for my ex, feeling completely alone, emotional etc. I'm determined to persevere with them because there has to be an alternative to living with anxiety full-time but i'm feeling worse than ever right now.

Sertraline does take some time to have an effect, but it does help. I still have some rough days, but more good days on the whole.

:thup: Yep. For a while I was only on 50mg, and I'm 6ft 4" and over 17 stone, so in hindsight it didn't have a great deal of effect on me. Since I've upped my dose to 100mg it's definitely made a more positive impact though.

It's ridiculous. Actually eating far better in recent months and shed some weight so for the first time in about a decade I'm feeling canny positive about that aspect... then randomly I'll start deciding a headache I have means I'm definitely going to have a stroke soon. Absurd, I know.

Having my own battle with health anxiety at the moment. Been ill with cold and flu for a month or so. Had two doctors appointments, both saying nowt to worry about and that I just need to get over the viral infections. Think I've had a two back to back.

Was almost over it and decided to check my throat, noticed it was still raw and all the anxiety symptoms flared up again. Doctor booked me in for this afternoon. Hoping for some advice on how to get my head straight.

Grappled with h.a. for a few years before I realised it was a problem I needed to address (Had a throat "Viral infection" which lasted about 8 months all told).

I have been booked in for some CT sessions which (As I`m ok at the moment) might take a couple of months to come through and I`m hoping it`ll give me the tools to deal with it should I have another "relapse" so to speak.

I turn into a hypochondriac now and again, normally in relation to my teeth. At least once a year I'll bring my check-up forward or whatever because I'm convinced they're going to fall out or explode from the inside. It's always nowt.

Neil, without sounding like an absolute stalker, I saw your Halloween pics and thought you were looking a good bit trimmer.

So I'm over my yearly bout of anxiety. Haven't bothered with the tablets after the first couple.

Think this year was just a perfect storm of symptoms to send me into a worrying state that's lasted a fortnight or so. A chest infection which cleared up after antibiotics, followed by a viral throat infection, followed by a cold... Some bad luck right there. Now the doctor has explained all my symptoms, I'm able to logic myself into thinking rationally. In the past, I've found a lump or discoloured skin - for example - worried myself to death until a medical professional put my mind at rest.

So, the best advise is not to google your symptoms, get booked in with your GP at the earliest opportunity and take plenty of rest if you need it. Sounds so easy to deal with once you're through it all :lol:

I was prescribed them last week and warned that the first few weeks could be rough. It's day 6 and i'm in a proper slump - can't stop pining for my ex, feeling completely alone, emotional etc. I'm determined to persevere with them because there has to be an alternative to living with anxiety full-time but i'm feeling worse than ever right now.

sertralinehas been a help to me. am still bordering on if i need to up my dose to 100mg from 50but seem to be managing at the minutestill have down days and days where its a struggle to leave the house but they dont seem as bad

I was prescribed them last week and warned that the first few weeks could be rough. It's day 6 and i'm in a proper slump - can't stop pining for my ex, feeling completely alone, emotional etc. I'm determined to persevere with them because there has to be an alternative to living with anxiety full-time but i'm feeling worse than ever right now.

sertralinehas been a help to me. am still bordering on if i need to up my dose to 100mg from 50but seem to be managing at the minutestill have down days and days where its a struggle to leave the house but they dont seem as bad

Same here mate. I seem to have two slumps a year. One in april/may and one around November. Swear that seasonal thing has a lot to do with it.

Feel like I have done literally nothing but work for like 2 months. The dark days just make me completely unmotivated.

I was prescribed them last week and warned that the first few weeks could be rough. It's day 6 and i'm in a proper slump - can't stop pining for my ex, feeling completely alone, emotional etc. I'm determined to persevere with them because there has to be an alternative to living with anxiety full-time but i'm feeling worse than ever right now.

sertralinehas been a help to me. am still bordering on if i need to up my dose to 100mg from 50but seem to be managing at the minutestill have down days and days where its a struggle to leave the house but they dont seem as bad

Same here mate. I seem to have two slumps a year. One in april/may and one around November. Swear that seasonal thing has a lot to do with it.

Feel like I have done literally nothing but work for like 2 months. The dark days just make me completely unmotivated.

i just changed jobs and i'm on flexi now and getting my arse out of bed in the dark mornings is a major pain.Going to the gym after work and putting in at least an hour of solid work(i just do classes like spinning and pump) helps with motivation, and getting up in the morning. have loads more energy and general confidence because i feel better in my own skin.I know its a cliche, but cant recommend exercise enough for low moods and general feelings of shitness

I'm in a dark place at the moment. I know drinking heavily is not helping at all but not sure what to do anymore. So many people rely on me being strong and I'm finally feeling the pressure and not handling it well. I'm sorry to post like this just seen some of the advice on here in the past and it's both frank and helpful.

I'm in a dark place at the moment. I know drinking heavily is not helping at all but not sure what to do anymore. So many people rely on me being strong and I'm finally feeling the pressure and not handling it well. I'm sorry to post like this just seen some of the advice on here in the past and it's both frank and helpful.

Even though I don't post in this thread a lot you're.right, always.found it helpful and reassuring in a way. What is it that's on your mind?

That's the thing I can't rationalise it at all with any particular event. Alcohol has always been a problem with me but it's having a even worse effect these days. Haven't really opened up to anyone close to me. My girlfriend sees it a bit but I feel so protective over the people close to me.

That's the thing I can't rationalise it at all with any particular event. Alcohol has always been a problem with me but it's having a even worse effect these days. Haven't really opened up to anyone close to me. My girlfriend sees it a bit but I feel so protective over the people close to me.

I'm the same re: alcohol, relying on it far too much recently (okay for quite a while now). Try and be as open with your girlfriend as possible, I felt loads better after breaking down a bit and having a good chat with my lad one night and my sister another.

You mention the effects of alcohol are getting worse, if you're drinking too much then it will and does escalate. Up to you whether you think you're just a heavy drinker who can control it, or and alchie who needs to stop altogether, but there is info around to help you work that out. I'd say the best test is when you try to stop for a few days or weeks or whatever, does it make you ten times more miserable? It did me, and that's a decent sign of alcoholism.

Also speaking from personal experience, quitting alcohol won't sort out all of your problems by a long shot, but after a while it will get your head level and make life much easier.

You might surprise yourself if you talk about it. Even just to get it from out of your head, or to get on to things you possibly wouldn't have thought of otherwise. If you absolutely can't talk to the people who are close to you, or even if you can actually, you should definitely visit your doctor about it.

:thup: Doctor is a must if you're drinking heavily every day and thinking about quitting too. If you're frequently going a few days without drinking you probably don't need to worry about quitting without consulting them.

Thanks for the advice. Really appreciate it. Ive gone long periods (relatively) without drinking. I don't crave it just the self loathing that comes with drinking is horrible at the moment and getting worse. In my head I embarrassed my GF last night and thought I had massively upset her when in reality all i did was not say goodnight which she chuckled at. I want to quit drinking though as it's not good for me. My drinking has led to drug use in the past and I know thats asking for trouble at the best of times let alone now. Depressive thoughts come over me on a regular basis for no particular reason.

Thanks all who have posted. Through the worse of my feelings today. Was really in a dark place last night. I just don't know how to talk about it with some people in my life. But you are right if they mock or are unwilling to help do I really need them in my life. Thankfully my girlfriend is a good woman I know I can talk to her but I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

Can't wait to get back into a normal routine again and get back in the gym I know that will help and football starts back first Saturday in January so can focus on that again. It amazing how chasing around boys half your age on the pitch can make you forget about lifes woes.

Starting to feel overwhelmed with things in my life the last few days, like everything feels like a massive event, and I can't make any clear decisions. Struggling to to concentrate on reading a book or watching the TV. It is difficult and as a man, i feel I don't really have anybody I can talk too. :(

Difficult to say, probably this time of year, with family and relationships etc. Fairly mundane/everyday things feel like a big obstacle and I can't concentrate on anything for very long.

Man, I know you're a good guy from your posts over the last 5 years or whatever, and as a community we've got you. Spill it out if you need to. I'm gonna hit the wall soon and I've got work tomorrow, but one of the others will pick you up, mate. All the best. :thup:

That's the thing I can't rationalise it at all with any particular event. Alcohol has always been a problem with me but it's having a even worse effect these days. Haven't really opened up to anyone close to me. My girlfriend sees it a bit but I feel so protective over the people close to me.

I'm the same re: alcohol, relying on it far too much recently (okay for quite a while now). Try and be as open with your girlfriend as possible, I felt loads better after breaking down a bit and having a good chat with my lad one night and my sister another.

We're here for you. :)

Please forgive me if this seems inappropriate but been thinking it for quite a while. Your drinking worries me, especially considering what's going on with your Dad and some of the posts you've made in the recent past. Your health seems to be all over the place, you're either hammering the gym or wanting to lose tons of weight. Can't be a coincidence, and it isn't good for you to fluctuate like that. I know you love a social drink and that's fine, but it concerns me that it could end up in something much darker.

Klaus: Jan/Feb is f***ing horrible, I've had a shocking time of it at that time of year for the last few years. Best advice would be to keep yourself active with things outside the house each day and look after yourself properly. If it's really bad then maybe go to the doctors but be aware they're going to give you antidepressants. Also if it's any comfort then everyone who has been through bad depression will tell you that it always passes and you emerge better equipped.

Re the concentration thing I'd say make a list of more than achievable aims each day and don't feel like you have to do any more than that. Today I'll do the admin I've been meaning to do, get out the house for a walk for an hour, tidy the kitchen, and other than that whatever. Live each day as it comes, don't think too far ahead.

I say all of this being terrible at it myself when my mood is low but they're the right things to do.

That's the thing I can't rationalise it at all with any particular event. Alcohol has always been a problem with me but it's having a even worse effect these days. Haven't really opened up to anyone close to me. My girlfriend sees it a bit but I feel so protective over the people close to me.

I'm the same re: alcohol, relying on it far too much recently (okay for quite a while now). Try and be as open with your girlfriend as possible, I felt loads better after breaking down a bit and having a good chat with my lad one night and my sister another.

We're here for you. :)

Please forgive me if this seems inappropriate but been thinking it for quite a while. Your drinking worries me, especially considering what's going on with your Dad and some of the posts you've made in the recent past. Your health seems to be all over the place, you're either hammering the gym or wanting to lose tons of weight. Can't be a coincidence, and it isn't good for you to fluctuate like that. I know you love a social drink and that's fine, but it concerns me that it could end up in something much darker.

Sorry if I'm out of order. :embarrassed:

I kinda feel the same, though don't want to be be too involved in my summary due to not at all knowing your situation. But I do come away from here at times concerned.

Feeling both, although I am not so sure you can call it depression since it is external events.

Honestly felt really abandoned when I needed succor for my neck situation, and still dealing with the post-mortem of that relationship. More powerful than my actual worry for the surgery. Can't seem to get over the anger either, or to just accept that she is a narcissist (she gave a speech at my buddies' wedding reception, even though she came down from Canada and just met them that night).

Thanks all who have posted. Through the worse of my feelings today. Was really in a dark place last night. I just don't know how to talk about it with some people in my life. But you are right if they mock or are unwilling to help do I really need them in my life. Thankfully my girlfriend is a good woman I know I can talk to her but I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

Can't wait to get back into a normal routine again and get back in the gym I know that will help and football starts back first Saturday in January so can focus on that again. It amazing how chasing around boys half your age on the pitch can make you forget about lifes woes.

So strange that dark place, isn't it? When everything seems to be going well, it often resurfaces as powerful as ever. But to state the obvious, those feelings aren't your fault. And as far as I am concerned, only a sociopath wouldn't feel sympathy, man.

Klaus: Jan/Feb is f***ing horrible, I've had a shocking time of it at that time of year for the last few years. Best advice would be to keep yourself active with things outside the house each day and look after yourself properly. If it's really bad then maybe go to the doctors but be aware they're going to give you antidepressants. Also if it's any comfort then everyone who has been through bad depression will tell you that it always passes and you emerge better equipped.

Re the concentration thing I'd say make a list of more than achievable aims each day and don't feel like you have to do any more than that. Today I'll do the admin I've been meaning to do, get out the house for a walk for an hour, tidy the kitchen, and other than that whatever. Live each day as it comes, don't think too far ahead.

I say all of this being terrible at it myself when my mood is low but they're the right things to do.

That's the thing I can't rationalise it at all with any particular event. Alcohol has always been a problem with me but it's having a even worse effect these days. Haven't really opened up to anyone close to me. My girlfriend sees it a bit but I feel so protective over the people close to me.

I'm the same re: alcohol, relying on it far too much recently (okay for quite a while now). Try and be as open with your girlfriend as possible, I felt loads better after breaking down a bit and having a good chat with my lad one night and my sister another.

We're here for you. :)

Please forgive me if this seems inappropriate but been thinking it for quite a while. Your drinking worries me, especially considering what's going on with your Dad and some of the posts you've made in the recent past. Your health seems to be all over the place, you're either hammering the gym or wanting to lose tons of weight. Can't be a coincidence, and it isn't good for you to fluctuate like that. I know you love a social drink and that's fine, but it concerns me that it could end up in something much darker.

Sorry if I'm out of order. :embarrassed:

You're absolutely spot on and I really appreciate the concern. I've pretty much written this year off but I am looking to make changes. I've slacked off with the gym a bit over the last few months due to work and other things and I know I'll start feeling a bit better once I get back into a routine where I'm going regularly and enjoying it (with all the January t***s :anguish:)

Haven't even heard from my dad for a month or so, so f*** knows what his situation is but there's no way I'm ending up like that.

I hate the felling of helplessness. I have supported enough people in my life with my worse problems than me yet I fail to put things in place for myself that I would suggest to others.

I know the drinking is a massive factor, sometimes after the first bottle/can I can feel the mood drop.

This thread has been a great help just being able to say how I feel about things. I am reluctant to go to the Doctors as the one time I did I was offered an appointment with a mental health nurse who in a round about way was telling me basically to man up :) :) I wish it were that easy.

I know I will get through this and things will be better but it frightened me to how dark it got in the early hours of Tuesday :(

There are quite a few AA meetings in town in case anyone wanted to try one, I'm off to one myself this lunchtime at the Brunswick Centre off Northumberland Street. Think people would be surprised by how normal the people there are and it is a good way to see if you identify with what they're saying and therefore whether abstinence is the only answer. It is also easy enough to go in there to listen and fade into the background without saying much or anything at all if that's what your preference is.

That's the thing I can't rationalise it at all with any particular event. Alcohol has always been a problem with me but it's having a even worse effect these days. Haven't really opened up to anyone close to me. My girlfriend sees it a bit but I feel so protective over the people close to me.

I'm the same re: alcohol, relying on it far too much recently (okay for quite a while now). Try and be as open with your girlfriend as possible, I felt loads better after breaking down a bit and having a good chat with my lad one night and my sister another.

We're here for you. :)

Please forgive me if this seems inappropriate but been thinking it for quite a while. Your drinking worries me, especially considering what's going on with your Dad and some of the posts you've made in the recent past. Your health seems to be all over the place, you're either hammering the gym or wanting to lose tons of weight. Can't be a coincidence, and it isn't good for you to fluctuate like that. I know you love a social drink and that's fine, but it concerns me that it could end up in something much darker.

Sorry if I'm out of order. :embarrassed:

You're absolutely spot on and I really appreciate the concern. I've pretty much written this year off but I am looking to make changes. I've slacked off with the gym a bit over the last few months due to work and other things and I know I'll start feeling a bit better once I get back into a routine where I'm going regularly and enjoying it (with all the January t***s :anguish:)

Haven't even heard from my dad for a month or so, so f*** knows what his situation is but there's no way I'm ending up like that.

Routine is the key, mines spun out last four months so need to get back to looking after myself better in Jan. Once you get out of a good cycle/routine into a bad one it's hard to kick out of it. 2017 is the year I get my s*** together.

I hate the felling of helplessness. I have supported enough people in my life with my worse problems than me yet I fail to put things in place for myself that I would suggest to others.

I know the drinking is a massive factor, sometimes after the first bottle/can I can feel the mood drop.

This thread has been a great help just being able to say how I feel about things. I am reluctant to go to the Doctors as the one time I did I was offered an appointment with a mental health nurse who in a round about way was telling me basically to man up :) :) I wish it were that easy.

I know I will get through this and things will be better but it frightened me to how dark it got in the early hours of Tuesday :(

Seriously f*** her then. Manning up is exactly what you did, trying to do something about it.

There are quite a few AA meetings in town in case anyone wanted to try one, I'm off to one myself this lunchtime at the Brunswick Centre off Northumberland Street. Think people would be surprised by how normal the people there are and it is a good way to see if you identify with what they're saying and therefore whether abstinence is the only answer. It is also easy enough to go in there to listen and fade into the background without saying much or anything at all if that's what your preference is.

Just looking at this thread and my last post was just over a year ago.

I've had the best 12 months I've had in ages. I've been trying to work out why this is, and I've come to two conclusions. One is that I've gone from running my own business for six or seven years to working for someone else again. I've a feeling that even just not having a constant worry about not being able to meet the monthly pay run has taken a load off my shoulders. Another is that I've consciously spent far less time arguing with people on the internet. All those dickheads you see on forums or twitter who annoy you and would normally provoke you into an argument, I just ignore them. I think it's making a difference.

I honestly think sometimes it is relatively little things, small changes that can make a difference.

Another thing I'm thinking is that in the past, when i've gone through good periods, I've tended to just stop taking my medication. I invariably then end up shortly after back in the same s*** again. I'm going to make a point of not making that mistake this time.

It's great when you're feeling a lot better, but a certain amount of "respect" for the rapidity with which you could quite easily go downhill is possibly a good thing.

My year this year was up and down, quitting alcohol shifted a lot of negatives that were stacking up but brought a lot of challenges as well tbh. Given I was suicidal this time last year I'd say I'm much less unhappy, much more level in general but not really any clearer on what my next move is and what I want to do or should do for the next ten years or whatever.

I'm feeling a bit stressed/down again as I'm looking at January wondering whether I can be arsed with the stress and hassle finding a new job in London when I've totally had it with living there. Just dunno what to do next tbh, this is why I fell out with my AA sponsor because I feel like "one day at a time" falls short when you're trying to avoid sleepwalking into a life you don't really want.

This is obviously causing tension with the girlfriend who still doesn't really understand alcoholism at all imo, typified by her pressuring me this week into going out on NYE when I've said I find it really stressful being around dead drunk people in busy pubs. I feel like if I want to stay in if I think stuff like that could be the trigger for a relapse that should be my decision but still we've argued about it the last few days for some reason.

So yeah, dreading the next few months a bit and feeling pretty grumpy because of it. Going to go to plenty of AA meetings when I get back down London, try to stay active and hope for the best I guess.

My year this year was up and down, quitting alcohol shifted a lot of negatives that were stacking up but brought a lot of challenges as well tbh. Given I was suicidal this time last year I'd say I'm much less unhappy, much more level in general but not really any clearer on what my next move is and what I want to do or should do for the next ten years or whatever.

I'm feeling a bit stressed/down again as I'm looking at January wondering whether I can be arsed with the stress and hassle finding a new job in London when I've totally had it with living there. Just dunno what to do next tbh, this is why I fell out with my AA sponsor because I feel like "one day at a time" falls short when you're trying to avoid sleepwalking into a life you don't really want.

This is obviously causing tension with the girlfriend who still doesn't really understand alcoholism at all imo, typified by her pressuring me this week into going out on NYE when I've said I find it really stressful being around dead drunk people in busy pubs. I feel like if I want to stay in if I think stuff like that could be the trigger for a relapse that should be my decision but still we've argued about it the last few days for some reason.

So yeah, dreading the next few months a bit and feeling pretty grumpy because of it. Going to go to plenty of AA meetings when I get back down London, try to stay active and hope for the best I guess.

Nah doubt it. Tbh I've pretty much had it right now, we're arguing about NYE again on WhatsApp this morning. This has been a theme of my 10 months sober so far, her making sobriety harder not easier and it's doing my head in.

Yeah don't worry, tbh I think the reason I've not had much useful advice anywhere is they are big decisions that only I can make and there's no easy answer. Feel a real weight on my shoulders at the minute though and all this arguing about one night where I'd rather be left to my own devices is not helping. Stressed to f*** now.

Yeah that's how I am starting to feel about the whole thing tbh, she's made new year into such a big deal all of a sudden because I was in such a bad way this time last year, trying to make me feel bad all over again for that which I'm refusing to do because it serves no purpose.

It's exactly the wrong time to be pushing my buttons as well tbh, when I don't want to live in London anymore. Stress stress stress with her at the minute, it's getting on my nerves and she's got me in such a bad mood now I'd rather hide in the house than be out with people putting a brave face on again.

Anyway just ignoring her messages since lunchtime and might stay in the house tonight and pop out for a bit tomorrow during the day. Fed up though, I was trying to avoid stuff like this over Christmas.

Sounds like she has very little empathy, man. Having just dealt with it, it can drive you mad at the best of times without you even realizing it. At the worst of times, it becomes utterly disheartening.

I'm weary about talking about other people's relationships because obviously I haven't got the first clue about the the specific details and all that, but I have a lot of experience of being the 'other person' in a similar situation and it's still a two-way street like. Not saying that you don't know that, but just wanted to make that point, that it's still about meeting each other half way in terms of understanding each other's needs and coping mechanisms, not just the other person empathising and the relationship being ruled by the demons of one half. That was always my view on it anyway, obviously every relationship's different, but attempts at normalcy were quite often something that I needed to keep me sane as well. I dunno if that's the same with her, but it reminds me of how I used to go on after a long spell of doing the supporting partner thing full time and being incredibly unhappy.

KI, I was in the same position in a former decade and a former life. Incredibly difficult position to be in, and I know exactly what you mean from the relatively little that you've said there. Good luck IP and keep yourself right; the emphasis that our culture puts on Great Nights Out Round The Bars being an integral part of social contact has f***ed me off for years.

I'm weary about talking about other people's relationships because obviously I haven't got the first clue about the the specific details and all that, but I have a lot of experience of being the 'other person' in a similar situation and it's still a two-way street like. Not saying that you don't know that, but just wanted to make that point, that it's still about meeting each other half way in terms of understanding each other's needs and coping mechanisms, not just the other person empathising and the relationship being ruled by the demons of one half. That was always my view on it anyway, obviously every relationship's different, but attempts at normalcy were quite often something that I needed to keep me sane as well. I dunno if that's the same with her, but it reminds me of how I used to go on after a long spell of doing the supporting partner thing full time and being incredibly unhappy.

I'm not sure about this like, if you're on about the lass that was very challenging in general then I don't see where the similarities are here. All I'm asking for is a bit of understanding occasionally when I want to stay in after spotting warning signs when I've been stressed out in busy situations.

I'm keeping myself sober, which is apparently what everyone wanted, when I do what I need to do to achieve that then some people seem to have a problem with that as well. Tbh the resentment is building on my side here, I'm at the other end of the country from my family for no reason except her yet I'm still getting grief for doing stuff that I think will keep me well at the end of the day.

Struggling to see any positives atm, for the umpteenth time in recent years.

I'm keeping myself sober, I'm doing stuff that I think will keep me well at the end of the day.

This seems to be the main thing. By all means tell me to f*** as far off as possible, I have no idea of all the details. Are you still with Kim? If so, she's got some staying power. If you both put up with so much s*** off each other it must mean something. Me and Mrs n often end up in a screaming match but we both know it's because we're tired or p*ssed or wrong and we fix it asap. Life isn't easy, but we do our best.

I'm weary about talking about other people's relationships because obviously I haven't got the first clue about the the specific details and all that, but I have a lot of experience of being the 'other person' in a similar situation and it's still a two-way street like. Not saying that you don't know that, but just wanted to make that point, that it's still about meeting each other half way in terms of understanding each other's needs and coping mechanisms, not just the other person empathising and the relationship being ruled by the demons of one half. That was always my view on it anyway, obviously every relationship's different, but attempts at normalcy were quite often something that I needed to keep me sane as well. I dunno if that's the same with her, but it reminds me of how I used to go on after a long spell of doing the supporting partner thing full time and being incredibly unhappy.

I'm not sure about this like, if you're on about the lass that was very challenging in general then I don't see where the similarities are here. All I'm asking for is a bit of understanding occasionally when I want to stay in after spotting warning signs when I've been stressed out in busy situations.

I'm keeping myself sober, which is apparently what everyone wanted, when I do what I need to do to achieve that then some people seem to have a problem with that as well. Tbh the resentment is building on my side here, I'm at the other end of the country from my family for no reason except her yet I'm still getting grief for doing stuff that I think will keep me well at the end of the day.

Struggling to see any positives atm, for the umpteenth time in recent years.

The similarity is purely in the being the other person thing, anything else I'd be shoehorning without a clue. I just recognised the need for normalcy from my perspective, without knowing whether that's the case in your sitch.

I'm weary about talking about other people's relationships because obviously I haven't got the first clue about the the specific details and all that, but I have a lot of experience of being the 'other person' in a similar situation and it's still a two-way street like. Not saying that you don't know that, but just wanted to make that point, that it's still about meeting each other half way in terms of understanding each other's needs and coping mechanisms, not just the other person empathising and the relationship being ruled by the demons of one half. That was always my view on it anyway, obviously every relationship's different, but attempts at normalcy were quite often something that I needed to keep me sane as well. I dunno if that's the same with her, but it reminds me of how I used to go on after a long spell of doing the supporting partner thing full time and being incredibly unhappy.

I'm not sure about this like, if you're on about the lass that was very challenging in general then I don't see where the similarities are here. All I'm asking for is a bit of understanding occasionally when I want to stay in after spotting warning signs when I've been stressed out in busy situations.

I'm keeping myself sober, which is apparently what everyone wanted, when I do what I need to do to achieve that then some people seem to have a problem with that as well. Tbh the resentment is building on my side here, I'm at the other end of the country from my family for no reason except her yet I'm still getting grief for doing stuff that I think will keep me well at the end of the day.

Struggling to see any positives atm, for the umpteenth time in recent years.

Have a fair bit of experience with alcoholism in my family so have huge respect for the way you’ve got yourself sober and are managing to stick it out – that is such a difficult thing to do so for me you have to do whatever it takes to maintain that first and foremost.

One thing I’ve seen a lot is that location/familiarity can be a huge trigger – if you’re still living and socialising in the places you had your worst times then you’re making it that bit harder for yourself, might be another factor to take into account if you’re considering a move anyway.

I don't know enough about the situation but asking someone with alcohol problems to go out on NYE seems absolutely ridiculous to me. It's the last place I'd want to be if I had just recently knocked drink on the head as well.

IP sounds like you've decided what to do with regards London, it's just making the rest of your life fit with that decision. It can be an incredibly difficult thing to put yourself first but I think if you look at your last 12 months you A) deserve it and B) want to continue making progress. Good luck with it.

There are loads of AA materials that are really useful but it just struck me that "Just for today" isn't just useful for alchies, but also people generally struggling to function due to depression or whatever, so thought I'd post it here:

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything else to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will lean something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read somethign that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count; I will do at least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize no one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy that which is beautiful, and will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

There are loads of AA materials that are really useful but it just struck me that "Just for today" isn't just useful for alchies, but also people generally struggling to function due to depression or whatever, so thought I'd post it here:

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything else to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will lean something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read somethign that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count; I will do at least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize no one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy that which is beautiful, and will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Was in bed a little while ago dreaming up ways to top myself but a) they all involved movement and b) my lad started making pancakes, so unfortunately for you lot I'm still here. :thup:

Jill, man, never even think about it. We've f***ing got you. If I have to bail out of work I'll catch you. Please let me know if you need me.

Thanks man, feeling ok after a bit of a blip over Christmas and New Year. Not looking forward to work tomorrow but who is?! Know I need the routine anyway. Managed to call it a night in reasonable time after the match so will have a few hours browsing then hit bed for the alarm in the morning....

Things have eased a little for me the past few days, getting back into a more "normal" routine has helped. However, my sister who is in a seriously dark place and has been since she was 11 required support last night. The mental health provision is absolutely shocking. She went to hospital last night on her own terms to be assessed, was sat up there two hours and did not see anyone. The doctor had a ward call to make. My old girl promised a call in the morning to sort something out. Cue loads of calls this morning by my mum to the care manager and various teams and she has still not spoken to anyone other than the receptionist and a manager of the "crisis team" who said its nothing to do with them even though they arranged for her to go up last night.Sorry for the rant just so frustrating, there is a very vulnerable young women who as it stands is getting no professional help despite us all reaching out. Disgusting :(

Cheers Poot, I know feeling better will always come but just feels awful at the time. Luckily having my boy plenty has helped me get through it, a 8 year old having fun playing board games, setting up new toys/games etc and seeing him happy is a great form of therapy.

So frustrating my mother just been on saying my sisters care manager is on the way up to see my sister and she doesn't sound best pleased. Really? The care manager is f***ed off because she has to care for her patient in a crisis. grrrrr!

My cousin swears by the Headspace app for relaxation techniques. I've just tried the first 10 minute session and I must admit I do feel quite relaxed. The first bit is 10 minutes a day so I'm hoping to manage that and then see what else is available as there are loads of different parts to it.

My cousin swears by the Headspace app for relaxation techniques. I've just tried the first 10 minute session and I must admit I do feel quite relaxed. The first bit is 10 minutes a day so I'm hoping to manage that and then see what else is available as there are loads of different parts to it.

I used to have a sub to it. It is pretty good.

The problem I had was that it relaxed me so much, I'd fall asleep. So I actually took to using it to help me get to sleep when I was struggling a bit.

There are quite a few AA meetings in town in case anyone wanted to try one, I'm off to one myself this lunchtime at the Brunswick Centre off Northumberland Street. Think people would be surprised by how normal the people there are and it is a good way to see if you identify with what they're saying and therefore whether abstinence is the only answer. It is also easy enough to go in there to listen and fade into the background without saying much or anything at all if that's what your preference is.

Church was shut, f***ing c***s

Could that be something to do with druggies and alkies wandering in off the street, taking a dump next to the altar before nicking their silverware and other trinkets to pawn for their next hit? Just a thought like...

Anyone ever been punched dead hard in the chest? You know that pain you get right afterwards? Imagine waking up with a start because of tha very sensation at 1.10am in the morning, then feeling a warm sensation on the same spot like your skin had just had a hot water bottle pressed against it, accompanied by similar hot tingling in your arms and legs? You'd imagine it was TIME UP, right? Heart attack or something? f***ing scared the bejesus out of me, anyway. At the time, my head was a bit spazzed and I reckon it was just starting the new job and associated anxiety kicking in. Managed to calm myself down a bit with mindfulness-based meditation until I eventually drifted back off to sleep for a few hours to wake up feeling rough and hungover (despite not drinking a drop last night).

Took myself off to the doctor this morning who reckons it's nothing cardiological, at least, which is a relief so I think we've honed it down to either a musculoskeletal thing arising from acupuncture treatment on my back yesterday evening, or possibly sleep apnea (which can be treated apparently) or maybe just something odd happening in my guts generating freakish displaced symptoms. Feel better having spoken to him and knowing that - seems there's an upside to having suffered anxiety/being an anxiety sufferer, in that I've now got minfdfulness meditation techniques in my metaphorical back pocket - I owe the the Scottish NHS one f*** of a lot.

No idea if this will help people, but since uni started in September they now have a beanbag room. For a few weeks I visited it once twice a week and I found myself more relaxed, under less pressure, and most importantly less angry. I was even contemplating getting a beanbag for my flat and also meditating. I've not been back for a while and I'm back to where I was. I'm not certain if relaxation in the beanbag room actually helped of it was a case of that just being a more peaceful/stress free time in general, but maybe something like that is worth a try for people in here. I think it's certainly something I should try again with.

Anyone ever been punched dead hard in the chest? You know that pain you get right afterwards? Imagine waking up with a start because of tha very sensation at 1.10am in the morning, then feeling a warm sensation on the same spot like your skin had just had a hot water bottle pressed against it, accompanied by similar hot tingling in your arms and legs? You'd imagine it was TIME UP, right? Heart attack or something? f***ing scared the bejesus out of me, anyway. At the time, my head was a bit spazzed and I reckon it was just starting the new job and associated anxiety kicking in. Managed to calm myself down a bit with mindfulness-based meditation until I eventually drifted back off to sleep for a few hours to wake up feeling rough and hungover (despite not drinking a drop last night).

Took myself off to the doctor this morning who reckons it's nothing cardiological, at least, which is a relief so I think we've honed it down to either a musculoskeletal thing arising from acupuncture treatment on my back yesterday evening, or possibly sleep apnea (which can be treated apparently) or maybe just something odd happening in my guts generating freakish displaced symptoms. Feel better having spoken to him and knowing that - seems there's an upside to having suffered anxiety/being an anxiety sufferer, in that I've now got minfdfulness meditation techniques in my metaphorical back pocket - I owe the the Scottish NHS one f*** of a lot.

Chest pains can be very frightening. They can be a sign of stress etc, but also they could also be indigestion/heartburn. My sister works for the NHS and does a lot of overtime at A&E check in. Apparently most people who come in with chest pains thinking they are having a heart attack actually have heartburn or some sort panic attack.

In a much better place than the last time i posted in this thread. What ive learned is to trust myself. Too often we look at others and their happiness and wonder what we're missing. Then we question ourselves. Well now i know to embrace my differences. Trust my gut and just be me. Too many f***ers following the wave.

And f*** the internet. The internet is filled with the 99% now. f*** em. Get off this s*** and just trust in what YOU believe!

Finally going to the doctors on Wednesday. I've known for years that there's something not right with me. It's taken a few friends of mine to give me that push to go and get help.

For a few years I've just considered my irritability, mood swings, anxiety and generally feeling down or angry part of my personality. However, recently it's got really hard to hide and I already have a reputation in work for my negativity. They don't know which version of me they'll get and it's no good for anyone.

I'm both relieved and nervous. Just scared I might get told there's nothing wrong with me and it's just who I am or something. I don't know.

Finally going to the doctors on Wednesday. I've known for years that there's something not right with me. It's taken a few friends of mine to give me that push to go and get help.

For a few years I've just considered my irritability, mood swings, anxiety and generally feeling down or angry part of my personality. However, recently it's got really hard to hide and I already have a reputation in work for my negativity. They don't know which version of me they'll get and it's no good for anyone.

I'm both relieved and nervous. Just scared I might get told there's nothing wrong with me and it's just who I am or something. I don't know.

That's probably a familiar description of most people who suffer depression.

You ask yourself, "am I just a moaning t***?" You're not.

And then you feel guilty about the whole thing and that you are just a nuisance. You're not.

Tell the doctor the crack. He will refer you to CBT. I didn't work for me. Sertraline all the way. Everyone's different, of course.

I'm just a bit bored of belting around very similar mazes made of crumbled walls and rooftops, and the butterfly/crystal thing in that one was a bit of a contrived way to make it more complicated than it really was. The snowfall effect was lovely, though :aww: I really do like it, I just think it could have been even better than it is :)

I'm just a bit bored of belting around very similar mazes made of crumbled walls and rooftops, and the butterfly/crystal thing in that one was a bit of a contrived way to make it more complicated than it really was. The snowfall effect was lovely, though :aww: I really do like it, I just think it could have been even better than it is :)

Finally going to the doctors on Wednesday. I've known for years that there's something not right with me. It's taken a few friends of mine to give me that push to go and get help.

For a few years I've just considered my irritability, mood swings, anxiety and generally feeling down or angry part of my personality. However, recently it's got really hard to hide and I already have a reputation in work for my negativity. They don't know which version of me they'll get and it's no good for anyone.

I'm both relieved and nervous. Just scared I might get told there's nothing wrong with me and it's just who I am or something. I don't know.

That's probably a familiar description of most people who suffer depression.

You ask yourself, "am I just a moaning t***?" You're not.

And then you feel guilty about the whole thing and that you are just a nuisance. You're not.

Tell the doctor the crack. He will refer you to CBT. I didn't work for me. Sertraline all the way. Everyone's different, of course.

+1 for sertraline

CBT did nowt for me because of my inherent loathing for paperwork and forms. But i did find some of the principles of it helpful. I should look at it again as i have been very low of late.read on on the internet about CBT and see if you can start applying it before you see a councilor.

I had that with citalopram, it was uncontrollable but thankfully eased off after a week or two. I was getting totally paranoid about it, especially since I was getting pretty bad jaw clenching too and must've looked like a cowie fiend.

I had that with citalopram, it was uncontrollable but thankfully eased off after a week or two. I was getting totally paranoid about it, especially since I was getting pretty bad jaw clenching too and must've looked like a cowie fiend.

I'm just a bit bored of belting around very similar mazes made of crumbled walls and rooftops, and the butterfly/crystal thing in that one was a bit of a contrived way to make it more complicated than it really was. The snowfall effect was lovely, though :aww: I really do like it, I just think it could have been even better than it is :)

:lol:

I never even look in this thread, no idea what happened there :) Apologies to anyone whose depression or anxiety was not assisted by this post :lol:

I'm just a bit bored of belting around very similar mazes made of crumbled walls and rooftops, and the butterfly/crystal thing in that one was a bit of a contrived way to make it more complicated than it really was. The snowfall effect was lovely, though :aww: I really do like it, I just think it could have been even better than it is :)

I never even look in this thread, no idea what happened there :) Apologies to anyone whose depression or anxiety was not assisted by this post

Back on my sertraline, big dose now. Had a few dodgy episodes recently. Off work for a bit.

I turn into a big negative c*** every now and again. This is my 4 th episode but I'm wondering if I've never been better over the last 10 years. I feel like a fraud but I'm now a grand master of faking emotion\ mirroring what someone wants.

Oddly I have high periods in my well parts I get immature, loud and brash. I've wondered if its bipolar but last time I mentioned it Dr dismissed it.

Back on my sertraline, big dose now. Had a few dodgy episodes recently. Off work for a bit.

I turn into a big negative c*** every now and again. This is my 4 th episode but I'm wondering if I've never been better over the last 10 years. I feel like a fraud but I'm now a grand master of faking emotion\ mirroring what someone wants.

Oddly I have high periods in my well parts I get immature, loud and brash. I've wondered if its bipolar but last time I mentioned it Dr dismissed it.

i had been thinking about coming off sertraline, but recent events in life and my mood have made me think this would be a bad idea.I'm due a review with my GP so may see what they think about upping the dosage.The difficult thing is that showing real emotion other than Walking dead levels of bleakness, misery and negativity is really difficult.It makes trying to be in a relationship stupidly hard

Finally opened up and told my mam about this yesterday. I was attempting to explain why I probably haven't been the best daughter recently, but it totally backfired and now she's devastated and feels like a failure of a mother for not spotting it. :facepalm: Tried telling her I just have a good game face but she's not having it!

Finally opened up and told my mam about this yesterday. I was attempting to explain why I probably haven't been the best daughter recently, but it totally backfired and now she's devastated and feels like a failure of a mother for not spotting it. :facepalm: Tried telling her I just have a good game face but she's not having it!

It is good to have it out in the open though.

Good on you for managing to open up about it. It's a huge cliché, but talking really is one of the best medicines for it.

Having worked in the field for some time, it's terrible how reclusive it can make you which ultimately adds to the problem. The best way you can improve your wellbeing is to recognise that you have the support networks that you need and be able to speak to people whenever you need to. People are unique and will have different ways of managing their situation, it's key to work out the methods that help you and then continue with them.

I hope I'm not preaching anything you already know or coming across patronising - I have the greatest support for anyone experiencing any sort of addiction/depression/anxiety and I am more than willing to give advice/support. If it is ever wanted - drop me a PM.

Asked the doctor to take me off citalopram and went on a course of reducing. Went off it completely after that and after a few days the dizziness was f***ing dreadful. Had to go back on it and I've an appointment with the doctor next week to ask how the f*** I can go off this s***. Anyone any experiences like this going off citalopram? Also has anyone tried CBD oil to treat anxiety?

I came off Citalopram a couple of years ago (through the GP) Decky. I reduced slowly to the point where I was off totally, but then came the mood swings, anxiety and the suicidal thoughts. I went back on and have stayed on them since (40mg per day) If it keeps me straight, then I'll take it. :)

My only issue is dizziness which is of course a symptom of anxiety. I don't like the idea of keeping it at bay with tablets because I want to be cured of the anxiety or at least be fit to manage it without medication daily. I'll see what happens after the appointment.

I feel like my anxiety seems loads better but now my mood is worsening. Back to feeling like I can't be bothered to do much. Gonna give it a few weeks then go back to the doctors I think, if it doesn't improve. Annoying though when my anxiety symptoms have really reduced.

How can I convince my girlfriend to go to the GP to speak about this kind of stuff? She's often sad and though it's not as bad as I think it once was for her, she blames herself. I can't say how it would help her without making it sound like it's terrible and that's broken - she's said before she doesn't want to take things, I think she's applying a stigma to herself. I just want to help her have better moods. Getting out of her old job was a good break but she isn't happy at her new place when it's a much better environment.

How can I convince my girlfriend to go to the GP to speak about this kind of stuff? She's often sad and though it's not as bad as I think it once was for her, she blames herself. I can't say how it would help her without making it sound like it's terrible and that's broken - she's said before she doesn't want to take things, I think she's applying a stigma to herself. I just want to help her have better moods. Getting out of her old job was a good break but she isn't happy at her new place when it's a much better environment.

How can I convince my girlfriend to go to the GP to speak about this kind of stuff? She's often sad and though it's not as bad as I think it once was for her, she blames herself. I can't say how it would help her without making it sound like it's terrible and that's broken - she's said before she doesn't want to take things, I think she's applying a stigma to herself. I just want to help her have better moods. Getting out of her old job was a good break but she isn't happy at her new place when it's a much better environment.

Got a GP appointment next week to talk about things. Got diagnosed with anxiety a couple of months ago; things got better but last few weeks have felt much worse so I need to get to the bottom of what's going on.

Not really sure what happens, is it likely they'd refer me to someone to talk to? Haven't had any medication prescribed previously and I'm unsure in my mind how that would really help that much.

Got a GP appointment next week to talk about things. Got diagnosed with anxiety a couple of months ago; things got better but last few weeks have felt much worse so I need to get to the bottom of what's going on.

Not really sure what happens, is it likely they'd refer me to someone to talk to? Haven't had any medication prescribed previously and I'm unsure in my mind how that would really help that much.

Hope everyone who's posted in here is doing alright. :thup:

Not sure if it works differently where you live but here in Wales when I opened up to a GP about issues they made me an appointment with the mental health nurse, she wasn't much of a help but hopefully if you get referred to something similar you will receive better support.

I was going through a rough time a while ago and the support and advice from this thread was great :)

Set a few minutes aside in the morning and breathe in for 3 seconds, hold breath for 4 seconds, breathe out for 5 seconds. Do this about 10 times, or as long as you want. Can do this during the day at times of stress and anxiety too.

Serenity prayer is useful for alchies but don't see why it's not transferable other than the word God being used, i.e. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

I'm a bit of a wreck myself currently but these are useful tools. I also really need to get into meditation too but I do get some peace in my meetings. Think there's a lot of value in taking time out in silence to breathe and focus just on breathing rather than letting your mind wander/catastrophise.

Also goes without saying but don't let your eating/drinking routines slip. Eat regularly, plenty of water, some fruit and veg, limited caffeine/alcohol. Get plenty of rest. Try to look after yourself as best you can to give yourself the best chance.

These things always pass. You will be OK. That's what you need to remember.

To be straight with you Neil I found that the only thing a GP was good for was prescribing tablets. I've been on citalopram for a year and a half now. I tried to go off it before but started getting the old symptoms back after a couple of days. I called the doctor about it and they just put me back on the tablets. That seemed like a cop out to me.

My advice would be to take some tablets to get rid of the symptoms but to also do your own research into controlling it and possibly even curing it. But definitely don't read anyone elses experiences of it online with the exception of here. Everyone goes through different symptoms of anxiety, dizziness or feeling like im going to faint constantly is the only symptom I have for example. When I started reading random forums and stuff online about it people were describing their triggers, which only freaked me out and made me avoid stuff that probably weren't triggers for me at all. It also made me feel down because some people have such negative approaches to the problem.

You should ask your doctor to put you down for some cognitive behavioural therapy as well, a lot of people find it to be very good for anxiety.

Increased from 20mg to 30mg citalopram from today after visiting the doctor last night. Annoyingly, my anxiety issues are loads better these days but my mood has taken a tumble. Had to have a few days off sick as I couldn't get myself out of bed a few weeks ago which isn't acceptable to me (hate letting the team down) so booked this appointment - good thing it wasn't urgent mind as it was over 2 weeks later.

Hope I don't have too many side effects from the increased dose and that it will help out in the long run. The doctor was great actually, not one I had seen before at my surgery.

To be straight with you Neil I found that the only thing a GP was good for was prescribing tablets. I've been on citalopram for a year and a half now. I tried to go off it before but started getting the old symptoms back after a couple of days. I called the doctor about it and they just put me back on the tablets. That seemed like a cop out to me.

My advice would be to take some tablets to get rid of the symptoms but to also do your own research into controlling it and possibly even curing it. But definitely don't read anyone elses experiences of it online with the exception of here. Everyone goes through different symptoms of anxiety, dizziness or feeling like im going to faint constantly is the only symptom I have for example. When I started reading random forums and stuff online about it people were describing their triggers, which only freaked me out and made me avoid stuff that probably weren't triggers for me at all. It also made me feel down because some people have such negative approaches to the problem.

You should ask your doctor to put you down for some cognitive behavioural therapy as well, a lot of people find it to be very good for anxiety.

I've been signed off for a couple of weeks. Felt that something wasn't right for about 10 days ( a gut feeling) Been some politics at work that I've kinda been dragged into, although am not sure if that was the trigger. Perhaps it's about it being a year of huge change and now that things have settled down, it's finally catching up with me? Anxiety wasn't great last Monday morning, so have been off sick since then. Saw the doc on Friday - told him that I know enough now as to how to fix myself. He advised me to keep up with the Citalopram and use my support network. Told me to go back if I feel I need more time off - and work have been good too. Service manager has told me to take as much time as I need. Finances will take a bit of a hit, but hopefully wor lass will be able to pick up the slack whilst I'm off.

For those who are on Citaporam like I am, this might help. A 'Survival Guide'

I'd personally give 4 weeks notice and get another sick note off the doctors in 2 weeks. Set expectations with HR that you'll not be coming back in though.

Try to be kind to yourself while you're on the sick, try to keep your sleep patterns and eating as good as can be, do things to take your mind off the stress even if it's just having a walk. Hope things improve for you mate.

Sorry, are you saying you're due back tomorrow after your 2 week sick notice is up? Or you have a sick note for two weeks which you could hand in tomorrow and then look to extend that to 4? Just trying to understand before any advice.

Yeah I'd do that, mate. Start your 2 weeks sick tomorrow. Send tonight if you can. Call and explain in the morning. Maybe if it's close arrange to go in and hand it in and chat for 10 minutes. Maybe you feel like you can't face that but walking away knowing it's done and accepted may be a help to you, rather than handing it in without seeing them even briefly. May play on your mind. That depends on you. And then yeah, arrange another appointment this week and see about extending it. In my limited knowledge they extend it after the two weeks, so not sure about protocol for extending 2 weeks to 4 on your first day's absence. This is based on one example, mind so again its just a quick conversation with the doctor. Hope you start to feel better soon. You don't need to worry about anything, this is all straightforward and nothing to worry about. Simple, acceptable process thousands of people go through.

Not sure, mate. Some may accept, some may not. Depends on a lot I suppose. I really wouldn't worry about that now, though. No need. Sick note is in, they'll get back and you can arrange another appointment at the doctors in the meantime. You're off, you've resigned, that's a few things off your mind and you'll be gone in 4 weeks max. Things are only going to get better now in that regard so make sure you realise that's a positive.

It is lately i've been stressing by either just walking/jogging/driving anywhere to take my mind off doing crazy things my heads telling me to do but i end up calming myself down.Sadly i no people who self harm and that is heartbreaking

Sorry, yeah I misunderstood what you meant too - don't worry too much about the work stuff, if your mind is made up to leave then just get the wheels in motion whether you end up doing two weeks or four weeks notice. Doesn't really matter, the doctor will give you as many sick notes as you want/need to cover it, in my experience. When I was off at the beginning of last year, the doctor was asking me how long I wanted a sicknote for rather than the other way around. As I say try not to worry about work and what they'll say as they'll have to accept it and you've got to put your mental health first.

My cousin swears by the Headspace app for relaxation techniques. I've just tried the first 10 minute session and I must admit I do feel quite relaxed. The first bit is 10 minutes a day so I'm hoping to manage that and then see what else is available as there are loads of different parts to it.

I used to have a sub to it. It is pretty good.

The problem I had was that it relaxed me so much, I'd fall asleep. So I actually took to using it to help me get to sleep when I was struggling a bit.

Not the purpose it was actually meant for, but still quite useful!

Hey, has anyone got a subscription for Headspace? Did first meditation this morning and found it really good, going to see if I can stick to it for the free 10 days. A fiver a month after that and found a code for 25% off, seems an alright deal if I use it.

My cousin swears by the Headspace app for relaxation techniques. I've just tried the first 10 minute session and I must admit I do feel quite relaxed. The first bit is 10 minutes a day so I'm hoping to manage that and then see what else is available as there are loads of different parts to it.

I used to have a sub to it. It is pretty good.

The problem I had was that it relaxed me so much, I'd fall asleep. So I actually took to using it to help me get to sleep when I was struggling a bit.

Not the purpose it was actually meant for, but still quite useful!

Hey, has anyone got a subscription for Headspace? Did first meditation this morning and found it really good, going to see if I can stick to it for the free 10 days. A fiver a month after that and found a code for 25% off, seems an alright deal if I use it.

I've had it for a while, downloaded it after ending a long term relationship and thought I could do with some help. I think it's really good and straight forward, though quite difficult to get in the habit of doing it every morning even though it only takes ten minutes. The Focus and Competition packs have really helped my golf game, but I've gone through a few of the more significant ones and I think it's helped me stop worrying or over thinking things as much. Use it to fall asleep as well.

Cheers both, gonna see how the first ten days go. I really need the help in the mornings, as that's when my head's on me the worst and if I don't shake it off then a s*** day becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I've been on my increased dose for a few weeks now and the last few days I can really feel it's getting into my system. Kind of difficult to describe, I'm pretty drowsy at the moment (and f*** me the yawning that was bad before is chronic now :lol: ). Work is so hectic it's keeping my mind off it, but really I could do with a few days just to chill out.

Wasn't sure where to put this - started reading a book called The Power Of Now and this jumped out of me from the first few pages:

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomesvery destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mindwrongly - you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe thatyou are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.

Really trying to quiet my head down these days with meditation etc and it seems to go hand in hand with this book. :thup:

Wasn't sure where to put this - started reading a book called The Power Of Now and this jumped out of me from the first few pages:

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomesvery destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mindwrongly - you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe thatyou are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.

Really trying to quiet my head down these days with meditation etc and it seems to go hand in hand with this book. :thup:

What meditation do you do if you don't mind me asking? Also what's the results been like for you?

I've done a bit of Headspace in the past, but as part of a recommendation to help me deal with pain management.

Wasn't sure where to put this - started reading a book called The Power Of Now and this jumped out of me from the first few pages:

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomesvery destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mindwrongly - you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe thatyou are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.

Really trying to quiet my head down these days with meditation etc and it seems to go hand in hand with this book. :thup:

What meditation do you do if you don't mind me asking? Also what's the results been like for you?

I've done a bit of Headspace in the past, but as part of a recommendation to help me deal with pain management.

I'm using Headspace too mate, have done the 30 day foundation course and have just moved on to one of the focused ones.

I'm just talking about me here obviously, but the difference so far has been pretty staggering. As a recovering alcoholic my worst enemy is a loud head because eventually if it remains untreated I'll have a drink, simple as that. Not only has meditation quietened my head down, it has given me a few tools for dealing with negative thoughts during the day etc.

Previously, in the rare moments my head did shut the f*** up and I felt peace, it would never last long as I'd subconsciously search for impending calamities. I feel like I'm becoming wise to that now, I am not my thoughts so I will observe those thoughts and not engage with them.

Anyway - really happy customer so far, would recommend the app and meditation in general to anyone looking for some peace of mind and some respite from anxiety or perennial negativity.

I've actually picked up on these myself through experience rather than reading so I know it's good info.

I haven't had an attack wipe me out or make me leave a situation in about a year and a half since the first couple of weeks when symptoms started because I breathe and remind myself that the attack will pass. Sometimes I even take myself away to a bathroom or whatever if I think the full effects will hit me because I know after they do I'll go into a relieved mode and be fine to carry on. A massive bit of advice I'd give to people is if you've something on and you're worried about anxiety definitely don't drink the night before it. When I'm hungover it's 10 times more difficult to control it.

After about a year and a half on sertraline, I've decided to come off it and see how I get on.Feel like i'm in a better state than i was in a year and half to 2 years ago. doc says i just need to skip the odd day and then gradually increase the amount of days i'm skipping week by week.lets see how this goes

so I've been coming off my sertraline tabs for a couple of weeks now, I maybe tried to do too much at first, by going 3 days without.as it stands i'm down to 1 50mg tab every 2 days and feel alright. I've pushed to 3 days but start getting weird buzzing/dizzyness if I do anything physical like the gymso will maybe give it another week or so, before cutting another day

so I've been coming off my sertraline tabs for a couple of weeks now, I maybe tried to do too much at first, by going 3 days without.as it stands i'm down to 1 50mg tab every 2 days and feel alright. I've pushed to 3 days but start getting weird buzzing/dizzyness if I do anything physical like the gymso will maybe give it another week or so, before cutting another day

so I've been coming off my sertraline tabs for a couple of weeks now, I maybe tried to do too much at first, by going 3 days without.as it stands i'm down to 1 50mg tab every 2 days and feel alright. I've pushed to 3 days but start getting weird buzzing/dizzyness if I do anything physical like the gymso will maybe give it another week or so, before cutting another day

I did roughly the same as you after being on a high dose of sertraline & diazepam for a few years. The first month or so of weaning yourself off them can be a bit of a nightmare, I found that forcing myself to eat whilst experiencing the shakes/dizziness helped alot. Also avoiding all caffeine & alcohol no matter how tempting it is (especially when feeling like you have little to no energy)

The main thing is you have gotten to 3-2 days so far which is good going, seriously it's worth it in the end once that foggy feeling goes completely you'll feel like a totally new man.

When I last posted in here I was about to go on medication for depression and anxiety. I've now been on the medication for four months and undergone CBT.

The difference is unbelievable, I'm so much more optimistic and positive now and my confidence has greatly improved. I was going on multiple dates a week before ending up in a relationship and I'm really happy.

It really was worth the shakey, anxious trip to the GP all those months ago. Obviously it doesn't turn around so quickly with everyone though.

My only concern is what happens when I'm off the medication? I'm not too clued up on how it's all supposed to work etc

Wasn't sure where to put this - started reading a book called The Power Of Now and this jumped out of me from the first few pages:

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomesvery destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mindwrongly - you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe thatyou are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.

Really trying to quiet my head down these days with meditation etc and it seems to go hand in hand with this book. :thup:

What meditation do you do if you don't mind me asking? Also what's the results been like for you?

I've done a bit of Headspace in the past, but as part of a recommendation to help me deal with pain management.

I'm using Headspace too mate, have done the 30 day foundation course and have just moved on to one of the focused ones.

I'm just talking about me here obviously, but the difference so far has been pretty staggering. As a recovering alcoholic my worst enemy is a loud head because eventually if it remains untreated I'll have a drink, simple as that. Not only has meditation quietened my head down, it has given me a few tools for dealing with negative thoughts during the day etc.

Previously, in the rare moments my head did shut the f*** up and I felt peace, it would never last long as I'd subconsciously search for impending calamities. I feel like I'm becoming wise to that now, I am not my thoughts so I will observe those thoughts and not engage with them.

Anyway - really happy customer so far, would recommend the app and meditation in general to anyone looking for some peace of mind and some respite from anxiety or perennial negativity.

Going to give Headspace a go. I've been using Happify, but the guided meditations are really the only parts that do anything for me and it's junked up with a bunch of other stuff I don't really find that helpful.

:thup: Hope you find it as useful as I have, still the perfect way to start the day for me. Had to do a reading at my brother's wedding and am convinced that meditation played a big part in it going so well despite me being terrified of stuff like that. Hopefully a big confidence boost re public speaking as well.

:thup: Hope you find it as useful as I have, still the perfect way to start the day for me. Had to do a reading at my brother's wedding and am convinced that meditation played a big part in it going so well despite me being terrified of stuff like that. Hopefully a big confidence boost re public speaking as well.

I actually did the ceremony, the "Joey", bit from friends.

Goes to show how people suffering from mental illness can actually overcome tough challenges. That said, I've always been decent a public speaking.

I think people who suffer from anxiety are largely anxious of specific things. For some it's being in public, or certain responsibilities. For me it was always work which triggered it.

:thup: Hope you find it as useful as I have, still the perfect way to start the day for me. Had to do a reading at my brother's wedding and am convinced that meditation played a big part in it going so well despite me being terrified of stuff like that. Hopefully a big confidence boost re public speaking as well.

I actually did the ceremony, the "Joey", bit from friends.

Goes to show how people suffering from mental illness can actually overcome tough challenges. That said, I've always been decent a public speaking.

I think people who suffer from anxiety are largely anxious of specific things. For some it's being in public, or certain responsibilities. For me it was always work which triggered it.

going out with the bairn and feeling like everybody is judging me as a bad parent was my anxiety trigger, being in areas with large groups of people like a shopping center or something like that was really tough.Also just being in groups of people sometimes triggers me off and i have to try and calm myself down. I'm noticing it more now that i'm coming off the sertraline, but feel i'm more able to deal with it

I really messed up. Had a few hard weekends partying, took all sorts at the Stone Roses gig in Wembley and they smashed it in Benidorm.

Came home in a very dark place. However, it lead me to open up to some close friends about my difficulties and they have all been really supportive. For the first time I have actually gone and sort out actual professional help. Had my first ever counselling session a week or so ago. That and the come down wearing off I am actually in a better place but nowhere near where I want to be. It's going to be a hard slog but now actually feel like I'm confronting my issues.

Hello folks,I don't post here much - long-time lurker though. I've been struggling a bit recently with anxiety generally and had a big panic attack on Thursday so went to docs and have gone back on Sertraline. Took 50mg a day since Thursday on an evening so I've had three tablets.

Today (day three) has been the worst day so far for side-effects. I have:- a dry mouth and no appetite (not eaten since yesterday) - nausea - buzzy/sensitised feeling in my head and limbs- occasion giddiness/adrenaline surges

Obviously it's early days - I remember from when I took Sertraline in 2013 that it took a while to get through the initial period but can't remember exactly how long. I'm worried that I will not be ready for dinner for my friend's birthday on Saturday (12-Aug) and, even later in the month, for my holiday to America (starting 31-Aug). My two-week sick note for work also runs out on Wednesday...

Hello folks,I don't post here much - long-time lurker though. I've been struggling a bit recently with anxiety generally and had a big panic attack on Thursday so went to docs and have gone back on Sertraline. Took 50mg a day since Thursday on an evening so I've had three tablets.

Today (day three) has been the worst day so far for side-effects. I have:- a dry mouth and no appetite (not eaten since yesterday) - nausea - buzzy/sensitised feeling in my head and limbs- occasion giddiness/adrenaline surges

Obviously it's early days - I remember from when I took Sertraline in 2013 that it took a while to get through the initial period but can't remember exactly how long. I'm worried that I will not be ready for dinner for my friend's birthday on Saturday (12-Aug) and, even later in the month, for my holiday to America (starting 31-Aug). My two-week sick note for work also runs out on Wednesday...

How long do these side-effects usually last at this level?

I remember when I was on Sertraline I absolutely hated the first few days as I basically felt like I was on ecstasy at work. Iirc it was only like that for around a week, certainly no more than 2 weeks before it levelled out.

If you're still really concerned next week though then I'd suggest going back to the doctors, they may amend your dosage. Oh, and force yourself to eat - I'm terrible for it myself especially when anxious but not looking after yourself in that respect just exacerbates the problem.

Got a lovely roast down me despite still feeling very stomachy. Basically feel as if I've got the 'flu - not nice and needing to convince myself it's worth it. But tbh it really is, considering how I've felt recently.

Am now down to half a tab of sertraline in 5 daysnot felt buzzy or like i have a random bell ring flash through my bodybut I am noticing that i am way more irritable, grumpy tired. but that could be related to other s*** i have going on in life at the moment

Got a lovely roast down me despite still feeling very stomachy. Basically feel as if I've got the 'flu - not nice and needing to convince myself it's worth it. But tbh it really is, considering how I've felt recently.

Aye, the first few weeks are rank. I think everyone has it differently as well. IP was saying that he felt like he was on ecstasy for the first few days, whereas I thought it was going to be like that, but just couldn't concentrate, had a dry mouth and had the s***s. It's definitely worth sticking with though.

I do on-call with work every few weeks, or when I can I offer to cover for others.I wasnt able to go to the gym or do much during the week as i need to be available 24/7 I felt really low during the week, almost to the point of jumping back on the tablets.Fortunately my generally lazy nature caused me to keep putting it off. when i went back to the gym I instantly felt better, my mood improved and i just generally felt better. Its the first time i've really seen for myself how important exercise is when it comes to mental health and mood

I do on-call with work every few weeks, or when I can I offer to cover for others.I wasnt able to go to the gym or do much during the week as i need to be available 24/7 I felt really low during the week, almost to the point of jumping back on the tablets.Fortunately my generally lazy nature caused me to keep putting it off. when i went back to the gym I instantly felt better, my mood improved and i just generally felt better. Its the first time i've really seen for myself how important exercise is when it comes to mental health and mood

:thup: I think at some of my lowest moments (having not been diagnosed with any kind of depression), I always forgo things like the gym, but if I manage to drag myself there i leave the place absolutely on top of everything else. It's mad, but I suppose it's just hormones and neurotransmitters like anything else. Food, Sex, love.

Tuesdays are the evil one for me, I expect a low Monday with all that's going on in my life at the minute (breakup, moving house, lack of good sleep, having to go to AA meetings most days to keep sober etc) but I felt decent yesterday yet it's hit me today again.

I don't think I'm depressed as it's all circumstantial but feel like I totally need to keep an eye on this stuff all the time.

Tuesdays are the evil one for me, I expect a low Monday with all that's going on in my life at the minute (breakup, moving house, lack of good sleep, having to go to AA meetings most days to keep sober etc) but I felt decent yesterday yet it's hit me today again.

I don't think I'm depressed as it's all circumstantial but feel like I totally need to keep an eye on this stuff all the time.

Just try to keep yourself as occupied as possible. Take up a new hobbyand keep active, physicallyin terms of sleep, try go to bed with some light easy listening music on. it helps to give your mind 1 thing to focus on rather than all of your problems. read up about breathing techniques as well.

These are all things that helped me when I was in a similar boat to yourself.

Still finding the meditation very useful and use some of the techniques from that to get me off to sleep / calm me down.

100% agree re exercise, I was getting into good habits a few months ago but then I was ill for a couple of weeks and the relationship imploded. Once I've moved house I'm definitely going to start running a couple of times a week again.

Cheers Ian but I've been saying for years I need to get my level of fitness up first before I even think about playing football. I was well on my way and am doing loads of other things right like eating fairly well and not drinking or doing drugs, so maybe I'll fancy it by next summer or something.

I'm sure Decky will see this and I hope he keeps it to himself, but felt like I wanted to kill myself the last week. Always felt like it would never happen to me, but feels like everything is against me. Lost my job. Fiancée isn't wearing her ring anymore. Struggling with money. Struggling with motivation. Overweight. Feel like I just don't want to do it anymore.

Any advice? Cheers.

Been there mate, don't give in. Spend a day with friends or something. Have you been to he doctors? Talking about this is very important.

I'm sure Decky will see this and I hope he keeps it to himself, but felt like I wanted to kill myself the last week. Always felt like it would never happen to me, but feels like everything is against me. Lost my job. Fiancée isn't wearing her ring anymore. Struggling with money. Struggling with motivation. Overweight. Feel like I just don't want to do it anymore.

Any advice? Cheers.

I've been there before man and I came close to the end but came back and swear I won't go there again. I'm always free for a call or to meet up if you need me. :thup: I don't really want a back on forth with yourself on here so i'll keep it at that if I can.

And fwiw you're one of the funniest and nicest guys I know and pretty much everyone thinks that of you. You've a lot going for you, and we all get close to what we think is rock bottom at different stages in our lives. Just don't let it get to you man because time is a great healer and you could be in the best place in your life this time next year.

I'm sure Decky will see this and I hope he keeps it to himself, but felt like I wanted to kill myself the last week. Always felt like it would never happen to me, but feels like everything is against me. Lost my job. Fiancée isn't wearing her ring anymore. Struggling with money. Struggling with motivation. Overweight. Feel like I just don't want to do it anymore.

Any advice? Cheers.

When in my life I've had lows and felt myself dropping into bad places, I've always came out of it the same way. Get up as if you were going to work, have a hot bath, have a good shave ( even if you have a beard, that first touch of aftershave on freshly shaved skin is a natural up). Get yourself a couple of boiled eggs and hot drink, and set about refinding employment. You're an intelligent chap, companies will be looking for you, believe me.

It's all about self esteem , you seem a confident bloke. Just be yourself and everything will fall into place, believe me.

Struggling badly at the minute. Had a couple days off graft just sleeping and staring at the ceiling, determined to go back tomorrow but fessed up to two of my closest friends from work in the hope that they can help me out if I need it. Today I've managed to get washed and dressed which is an improvement on yesterday but tomorrow I'll have to take on the world or I'm gonna be on a right slope.

Struggling badly at the minute. Had a couple days off graft just sleeping and staring at the ceiling, determined to go back tomorrow but fessed up to two of my closest friends from work in the hope that they can help me out if I need it. Today I've managed to get washed and dressed which is an improvement on yesterday but tomorrow I'll have to take on the world or I'm gonna be on a right slope.

Have you considered seeing a counselor or therapist? Here in Canada, the former is free, although there might be a wait period. A few friends have found them incredibly helpful, even as just a stranger to speak freely to. I strongly recommend it. We even have a center for mental health here where you can get free treatment, so you can (and should) explore such options locally.

Just thought I'd pop this in here, not that the outdoors and exercise WILL cure all but it's a small step and works for some. The regularity and small challenge part as alluded to by others, I think 1,000 miles works out at 2,7 miles per day, about an hour and people are habitual creatures so creating a "good" habit sometimes helps.

Struggling badly at the minute. Had a couple days off graft just sleeping and staring at the ceiling, determined to go back tomorrow but fessed up to two of my closest friends from work in the hope that they can help me out if I need it. Today I've managed to get washed and dressed which is an improvement on yesterday but tomorrow I'll have to take on the world or I'm gonna be on a right slope.

I don't know if you've tried talking minds before Jill but they are really good & the waiting list is never that long ~1/2 weeks, they do loads of over the phone therapy. I did a CBT course that lasted ~ 8 weeks, set time/day every week & it really worked, alternatively you can choose group sessions if thats for you.

The best thing about it is you can actually refer yourself no need for a GP referral.

Struggling badly at the minute. Had a couple days off graft just sleeping and staring at the ceiling, determined to go back tomorrow but fessed up to two of my closest friends from work in the hope that they can help me out if I need it. Today I've managed to get washed and dressed which is an improvement on yesterday but tomorrow I'll have to take on the world or I'm gonna be on a right slope.

I don't know if you've tried talking minds before Jill but they are really good & the waiting list is never that long ~1/2 weeks, they do loads of over the phone therapy. I did a CBT course that lasted ~ 8 weeks, set time/day every week & it really worked, alternatively you can choose group sessions if thats for you.

The best thing about it is you can actually refer yourself no need for a GP referral.

http://www.talkinghelpsnewcastle.org/

I'm sure you'll soon be feeling much better.

I've done the Dennis Wise version of CBT via YouTube to deal with my OCD which in the past was unbearable. Even this route helped me immensely.

Filled in my absence form for the couple of sick days earlier in the week with the reason "anxiety/depression" and HR now won't leave me alone asking if there's anything they can do to help. Wish I'd just said I had the s***s or something, I can't deal with all this nicey nicey malarkey. :lol:

Filled in my absence form for the couple of sick days earlier in the week with the reason "anxiety/depression" and HR now won't leave me alone asking if there's anything they can do to help. Wish I'd just said I had the s***s or something, I can't deal with all this nicey nicey malarkey. :lol:

I've been meditating for 10 minutes in the morning and before bed for the last 2-3 months.

It has certainly helped my mood. I haven't had any bad mood days and whenever I get a stressful situation at work, my instinctive reaction to fret up about it is suddenly subsided by my mind. It's as though my meditation has built up this "new muscle" to combat the effects of stress.

I've been meditating for 10 minutes in the morning and before bed for the last 2-3 months.

It has certainly helped my mood. I haven't had any bad mood days and whenever I get a stressful situation at work, my instinctive reaction to fret up about it is suddenly subsided by my mind. It's as though my meditation has built up this "new muscle" to combat the effects of stress.

I also seem more in the moment, more focused.

However did you find the self-discipline to do it so consistently, every morning and every evening? I admire your willpower. If only I could emulate that. Massive respect.

Morning meditation is easy on work days imo, as it's a case of simply working it into your routine. Get up 10 minutes earlier and always do it at the same time, I do it between shower and getting ready.

Find I often let it slip at weekends but make sure I'm back to it by Monday.

I've been meditating for 10 minutes in the morning and before bed for the last 2-3 months.

It has certainly helped my mood. I haven't had any bad mood days and whenever I get a stressful situation at work, my instinctive reaction to fret up about it is suddenly subsided by my mind. It's as though my meditation has built up this "new muscle" to combat the effects of stress.

I also seem more in the moment, more focused.

However did you find the self-discipline to do it so consistently, every morning and every evening? I admire your willpower. If only I could emulate that. Massive respect.

Thank you. At first, I was not able to be disciplined enough and was only doing meditating as and when I felt like it. However, about few months ago, things got really bad for me mentally and this really forced me to take action drastically.

This meant not only meditating everyday, but also to practise mindfulness. I spend much of my time now "observing" my thoughts, trying to turn every negative thought into a positive one. (or at least to simply not to attach emotions to my thoughts and just gently let them disappear naturally.)

Things, mood wise, have really improved for me. I'm much more positive in my approach to everything now. And this should only get better, as "inevitably" the positive thoughts, therefore actions, will eventually reap rewards.

I also apply a holistic approach to my recovery - this means to cut down on the useless things such as social media, TV, internet, etc. And concentrate more on self-improvement (I'm doing an online degree and watching more lectures of "self-help") and make more social interactions. (I'm currently isolated in some village, but I'm working towards relocating.)

Also, and this is very much a personal thing :lol:, quit Porn! :lol: It really has some awful effects on you, especially if you started off young and was having "side difficulties" anyway. (Like depression, work problems, personal conflicts, etc.) Porn really makes it worse on your mind! :lol:

It's so sad to see how many people go through this struggle. I hope everyone is doing ok today.

I've been at really low ebb since March, I've felt like this before. Writing up my thesis was really tough for me, but I was confident I'd bounce back after. Over a year later and it's still not really happened. There have been little bits of good mood here and there but overall It's just been really s***. It's been going on for so long now that I'm finally conceding that I will need some sort of medication to get me out of this. It's f***ing mental, I've finally finished my PhD and got a good job, but I'm more miserable than ever. Over this time I've got pretty addicted to the gym, it's about the only thing that makes me happy, still, it's not a great crutch to have as every time I've got an injury that's kept me from exercising I've plummeted again. Things have been improving a little recently but I've got an appointment to see my GP on Thursday. I'm gong to see what can be done.

Actually been quite content for the past months but when the depression seeps in, as it did this week, I go straight into suicidal mode and immediately start to think of ways to end my life. This probably sounds quite strange but my best friend hung him self earlier this year and as awful and harrowing that was it has in a way given me a reality check. Now I've seen in reality what the worst case scenario is and I don't for the life of me don't want a similar scenario to reoccur. I'm glad I'm blessed with patience because the good times will always roll sooner or later and I hope to god that people in a similar position as myself can help themselves to some patience as well.

Actually been quite content for the past months but when the depression seeps in, as it did this week, I go straight into suicidal mode and immediately start to think of ways to end my life. This probably sounds quite strange but my best friend hung him self earlier this year and as awful and harrowing that was it has in a way given me a reality check. Now I've seen in reality what the worst case scenario is and I don't for the life of me don't want a similar scenario to reoccur. I'm glad I'm blessed with patience because the good times will always roll sooner or later and I hope to god that people in a similar position as myself can help themselves to some patience as well.

Sorry to read about your loss. Losing someone this way kind of opens the possibility in our minds. Delighted to hear how aware you are that really low mood colours how we see everything. Everything seems/is so negative when we are down and constantly tired. When mood lifts, the bleakness, resigned acceptance of how s*** things feel, and hopelessness about the future evaporates. Hope you're able to find things which help you shift this cloying s*** mist (:-/ there's an image!) from your life; what used to make the good times roll? What will keep their momentum going? Look after yourself, man. Keep heading in the right direction, even if via a circuitous route, and you'll get there. Perhaps more importantly, you'll enjoy the journey more.

Been having suicidal urges for what feels like forever now. Been at least 5 years since they started. Always had depression problems, as long as I can remember, but it's just getting worse and worse. When it gets bad, all I can think about is how fantastic it would be to just be dead, and if I don't do something, I'm not going to be able to resist the pull of it much longer. Used to be maybe a day or two every few months, then once or twice a month, and now it's 3 or 4 times every month for days at a stretch. But I've finally been convinced that I need to get help for it, by a close friend who's been there herself and come through it. I'm scared as s*** of what's going to happen if I don't get this dealt with. No idea what's coming ahead as far as treatment and medication, just praying that the Republicans don't f*** our health care system to the point where I can't afford it anymore.

Don't even know why I'm telling people, except that it seems like, if I can encourage anyone else out there to do the same, then I guess it's worth it. I think people don't know how many others out there are affected by depression, and I guess if we didn't feel so isolated and alone, more people might try to get help sooner and not leave it to build and just consume you like I did. That's my thinking, anyway.

I've started seeing a therapist in the last few months and I can't recommend it enough. It's a good place to start and from there they can help you look into medications that might work. Obviously don't know your situation or insurance plan, but hopefully if you get it through your employer you can trust them enough not to change anything about plan regardless of what Republicans do. Just don't wait to make the call, even the first session can make a world of difference, and it's usually free.

I've started seeing a therapist in the last few months and I can't recommend it enough. It's a good place to start and from there they can help you look into medications that might work. Obviously don't know your situation or insurance plan, but hopefully if you get it through your employer you can trust them enough not to change anything about plan regardless of what Republicans do. Just don't wait to make the call, even the first session can make a world of difference, and it's usually free.

I'm a freelancer. Don't have an employer-provided plan, unfortunately. It'll all depend on how much the premiums increase now that the mandate is gone, and whether insurers can start dropping coverage for mental health issues. Got a doctor's appointment tomorrow with my primary care doctor, going to ask for a referral to a mental health specialist and take it from there.

YT, absolutely insist on help immediately if it’s at all possible. I know that over here what you’ve just posted there would get you referred to an emergency route pretty much straight away.

Is there anything like The Samaritans over there? Or even online therapy? Either might be a good route to just get started talking to someone.

No idea. I mean, there's the suicide hotline I guess, and there's some cheap group sessions nearby. But I'll know more after tomorrow's visit. I'm fine until then, and then I can plan a course of action. Since I opened up to my friends and made the decision to get help, it's really been a weight off in a lot of ways. I'm more confident now that it's something that CAN be reversed and I'm ready to work on it.

Gonna try and work on my anxiety in the new year and im setting a goal to get off the medication next year. I think I've just accepted it and im happy to just take the tablet every day and work away which is a bad thing imo. Gonna go to the gym at least 3 days a week after work and hopefully once or twice on my days off as well. I think a healthy body is a good start.

Met with my doctor. We're starting with 10mg of citalopram to start, and I have an appointment for a therapy consultation to look at options for that. Really does feel good to be taking some action to start to fight this thing.

Met with my doctor. We're starting with 10mg of citalopram to start, and I have an appointment for a therapy consultation to look at options for that. Really does feel good to be taking some action to start to fight this thing.

Met with my doctor. We're starting with 10mg of citalopram to start, and I have an appointment for a therapy consultation to look at options for that. Really does feel good to be taking some action to start to fight this thing.

My wife is on them, has been for 3-4 years now. Started on 40mgs and weened down to 10s. Try to take them at the same time everyday, when shes late with one she acts like someone on speed. Then suffers for it the next day.

Online talking therapies thing. Can do modules specifically for sleep issues, anxiety, or whatever - exercises, videos, relaxation tapes etc - and you get a supporter who reviews your progress and gives you advice. Your GP can refer you or I think you can self refer now too. Because you do it at your own pace and it's mostly online there's not really a waiting list like there is for group therapy etc.

Met with my doctor. We're starting with 10mg of citalopram to start, and I have an appointment for a therapy consultation to look at options for that. Really does feel good to be taking some action to start to fight this thing.

Can't speak highly enough of Citalopram. I went on to 10mg of it and found that after 3-4 weeks it had gotten my head straight to the point where I didn't need them anymore, and was then off them a few weeks later.

My anxiety is through the roof at the minute. Always happens after a sudden death of someone I know, I become super paranoid that everyone around me is about to drop dead and basically can't bear to be around people. Every time I've been somewhere this week I've suddenly had a feeling of "I have to get the f*** out of here" and bailed with my heart beating out of my chest. However, no full blown panic attacks so it seems the medication is helping.

Met with my doctor. We're starting with 10mg of citalopram to start, and I have an appointment for a therapy consultation to look at options for that. Really does feel good to be taking some action to start to fight this thing.

Can't speak highly enough of Citalopram. I went on to 10mg of it and found that after 3-4 weeks it had gotten my head straight to the point where I didn't need them anymore, and was then off them a few weeks later.

Hopefully you will have similar results, good luck :thup:.

Citalopram for me as well, 30mg. After a year and a half of it, the only downside is that I've developed a permanent jaw tremor.

It's going ok so far, first few days felt like I couldn't concentrate but that's faded now. Can't really tell if it's doing anything worthwhile to change my moods. Still getting downswings that are pretty low, but no suicidal ideation yet since I went on it, so that's a start.

Coming up on the worst time of year for me, here. The heart of winter with not much to look forward to until spring. Will have to work particularly hard on keeping my mood up. It's ridiculous, in a sense, given how much I'm fortunate enough to have in comparison to so many others, but I suppose the non-thinking part of my brain doesn't care much about that.