Seriously?!?https://feminace.wordpress.com
Going through life with one arched browThu, 08 Mar 2018 10:36:12 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://secure.gravatar.com/blavatar/2b9f663d22f76d1e5b1f1a4a5121c8a9?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.wp.com%2Fi%2Fbuttonw-com.pngSeriously?!?https://feminace.wordpress.com
Seriously?!? is going into Orbit!https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/03/15/seriously-is-going-into-orbit/
https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/03/15/seriously-is-going-into-orbit/#commentsTue, 15 Mar 2016 16:01:23 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=1260Weird that I come back out of my funk just in time to announce that I’m joining The Orbit blog family of awesome bloggers!

You can check out my new site, a new blog post, and the shitty banner I made here!

Can’t wait to see y’all there!

]]>https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/03/15/seriously-is-going-into-orbit/feed/4orbitlogofeminaceTrans Women in the Loohttps://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/trans-women-in-the-loo/
Mon, 29 Feb 2016 15:10:22 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=1230(I’d say trans people, but let’s face it, most of the people behind these bathroom bills give much more of a fuck about trans women because ZOMG penis then for trans men. But the risks of assault and arrest for everyone is shitty.)

Thanks to encouragement by some groups for cis men to walk into the ladies room and show off their best helicopter dick, here is a short list of things conservative and TERFs think trans women want to do in the loo:

Whip out their dicks

Molest ‘real’ women and girls

Get man cooties all over “women’s” spaces.

Here’s what trans women actually want to be able to do in the loo:

What everyone else is doing.

And in case you’re unclear, that’s

Pee

Poop

Wash hands

Check hair

Check makeup

Check clothes

Change a baby

Accompany a little kid who needs to pee/poop

Sit on a toilet seat and cry

And hey, because trans women are people too, let’s go for the not so savory things people do in the bathrooms:

Snort coke

Smoke weed

Bone a stranger you just met at the club/bar

Get into a hair pulling fight with some so-and-so taking up too much space at the mirror

Come at me with anything trying to defend Dawkin’s fuck ups, and your comment won’t even make it through moderation. Come at me with anything accusing SJWs or whatever of trying to take over atheism or forcibly turn everyone into feminists or whatever conspiracy theory you pulled out of your ass, and your comment won’t make it out of moderation. Try to tell me how you don’t see a ‘movement’ or a reason for a movement, and you see where this is going.

Who knows, I might let it through just to mock you…and block you. Depends on my mood.

Your arguments are boring, have been heard before, and I don’t care to entertain them here. Take your Frozen Peaches elsewhere.)

Ahem.

The irony of Dawkin’s smug ass face on featured image of this article is overwhelming as fuck. And people have been sharing it so much on Facebook that it makes me ill.

Now let me let some of you in on what is apparently a secret in the atheism movement: A lot of us managed to figure out this whole ‘no gods’ thing and/or the evolution thing without touching a single one of this man’s books or hearing him talk. We owe him nothing.

I would bet you good money that a lot of those people are poor, not college educated, racial minorities, queer and/or women. Again, we owe the fucker NOTHING, so in my particular case, I feel no qualms about calling him out when he done fucked up.

(and before anyone mentions it, I hope he recovers from his recent stroke. He’s still a fucker, doubly so for trying to blame it on the stress by ‘fellow’ left leaning feminist who he deliberately stirred up recently. So fuck him.)

You know, in light of the re-invite by NECSS, I think the folks in organized atheism really ought to be trying to get involved with actual inclusivity instead of pushing away some of us away by constantly licking the taint of their “Horsemen” because money and/or media exposure. No matter how shit their opinions are or have become about things that also matter, you know, like feminism and racism.

And the exclusion of most marginalized people has been so obvious that it’s breathtaking. Why should conferences have to be told to provide childcare like it’s some kind of gift instead of just a fucking given? Why do people saying stuff like “It sure would be nice to not have all of our gatherings in a bar late at night somewhere where transit doesn’t run or run well” such a radical thing to ask for? Why are big name conventions completely out of the realm for anyone below a certain income? Why do these conventions keep inviting accused rapists and known Islamophobes and anti-feminists? Don’t they know how unwelcoming that really is?

(and at this point, someone may mention that there are people in those categories that I listed above who are perfectly okay with how things are. Good for them. I’m talking about what needs to be done to make organized atheism more welcoming to others like them. So you don’t have to mention it.)

That’s why I support smaller, more social justice oriented secular conferences. Ones that allow talk about social justice issues, ones who have accommodations like gender neutral bathrooms and childcare and quiet rooms – as a given. Ones who take direct responsibility when there’s a fuck up. Ones run by people who try and succeed in having as much of a diverse panel as they can. Ones that give a fuck about actually making atheism inclusive, rather than some special club that you have to adjust yourself to fit in, or have read the right books, or what the fuck ever.

Ones that the big boys probably don’t even know exist.

And on one hand, that’s fucking sad. They should. It’s where the young folks are, you know, the future our of movement?

On the other hand, it’s the sort of atheism that we need so badly. An atheism that goes beyond “I don’t believe in gods”. One that goes past the dictionary definition and into “Now what do I do about it?”.

That’s the atheism I’m interested in. The one that tries to make the world a better place without god. If that’s not yours, fine (okay, not fine, but I’m not going to waste time arguing with you), but get the fuck out of my way.

]]>https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/16/expectation-in-the-atheism-movement/feed/6feminaceRTMFPhttps://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/15/rtmfp/
https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/15/rtmfp/#commentsMon, 15 Feb 2016 15:19:14 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=1100Just a little piece of advice for people who roll up to my comments trying to tell me what I should or should not be focusing on.

See, I’m a little cranky and sore this extended weekend. I spent one night having a sleep study. Do you know what a sleep study is?

This is a sleep study

Then you lay down on the worlds most uncomfortable mattress not made of actual rocks for a night while someone watches you. Sometime in the night, you get a CPAP machine placed on your face so you breathe into that.

Needless to say, I woke up early, sore and grumpy. Oh, and with goo everywhere including in my hair. I get out into -4F weather, go home and there’s bullshit to deal with at home. I spent most of the weekend so sore I couldn’t stand it, so tired I spend all of Saturday napping, and so pissy that I called my cat a bastard who I wanted to turn into a muff – for asking for food.

Not in the best mood. Which means I’m in the perfect mood to write this post.

So, yeah. To the point. You see that acronym in the title? You may not be familiar with it, or you might be familiar with another of its type: RTFM. For both, I’ll translate:

Read

The

Mother

Fucking

Post

See, when I get comments like this:

…I get amused. And a little annoyed. Okay, a lot annoyed. Maybe even pissed. Is there a term for laughing while angry?

Get this peeps, this is MY blog. I write about anything I fucking want. I write about any topic I want. I didn’t have to give details of my weekend and a picture of myself up top to start this shit, but I did. And none of motherfuckers can stop me.

I have friends who suggest that I charge for the privilege of giving me a topic to address, and even that grates on me as an incentive. I don’t want to write what someone else wants me to write; even for pay (unless you’re my editor). Fuck that shit.

So, if you’re thinking “hey, let me tell you what topic you should be focused on”, watch this clip from a show I’ve never actually watched before:

To put it in terms you might understand. “You come into my house, you read the topics as I FUCKING WRITE THEM?”

Understand?

]]>https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/15/rtmfp/feed/2kermitfuckeryfeminace20160212_213750RTMFPThe Disability Parking Policehttps://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/09/the-disability-parking-police/
https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/09/the-disability-parking-police/#commentsTue, 09 Feb 2016 15:43:58 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=1062You know these people. They leave notes on cars like this one or this one. They approach and confront frauds using those placards to just get better parking. They’re doing it to help actual disabled people get the parking spot they deserve, if it wasn’t for these frauds.

Small problem: NO ONE ASKED THEM TO FUCKING TAKE ON THIS ROLE

There was no alien descending upon them to give them this mission. There was probably no Council of Actually Disabled people gracing them with a secret badge. I’m betting good money that they probably don’t even know a person who’s disabled, never mind one who would ask them to police their parking spots.

See, as I pointed out in my previous post about disabilities, there are way too many people who are just ignorant as fuck about what disabilities are, so when they see someone with a placard leaving their car under their own power (no wheelchair, walker, cane), obviously they are a fraud. And frauds need to be called out. No calling the police or the manager of the store to report them or anything useful, just write a nasty little note and leave it on their car to discover. Because writing nasty notes has always worked to make a fraud go “oh dear, I’ve been found out. Time to return this placard.”

Like welfare and SSI, the rate of fakers taking advantage of disabled parking is low. Low low. Very low. Look it the fuck up if you don’t believe me. So the likelihood of the Parking Spot Police actually catching a fraud is next to fucking impossible. All they’re doing is spoiling a person’s day who is probably having it hard enough. All they’re doing is trying to make themselves feel better, puff themselves up at the expense of someone who has a disability they can’t see.

All they’re doing is showing off their ignorance in the guise of trying to help “real disabled people”.

While never knowing what is going on with the so-called fraud.

People have these strange expectations of the disabled, that we much perform our disability for them to prove it. They have to see us struggle, they have to see that walker, that wheelchair, that child who can’t hold their head up and drools a little. They need to see it so they can feel sorry for us, feel better than us. “But the grace of God go I” and all that shit. So when they see someone who doesn’t “look disabled”, it angers them. That person looks fine. That person looks like a “normal” person. Fraud! Faker! Time to write a note and wait until they come out and demand proof (like who the fuck are you?). How can you feel sorry and superior to this person if you can’t see their brokeness?

Are you their doctor? Were you the person who signed off on allowing them that placard? No? Then, if you must patrol the disabled parking spaces, learn about invisible disabilities like EDS and fibro and Crohn’s and RA and a host of others. Learn the difference between good days and bad days. Stop demanding that people perform their disability for your viewing pleasure. Learn some fucking empathy.

]]>https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/02/09/the-disability-parking-police/feed/23FuckYouParkingSpotfeminaceNo Love, Me – The Clueless Verisonhttps://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/01/29/no-love-me-the-clueless-verison/
Fri, 29 Jan 2016 22:26:35 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=1053Damn, haven’t had one of these in a while, but it’s Friday and I’ve been serious enough this week.

]]>NoLovefeminaceWhat a Twist!https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/what-a-twist/
https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/what-a-twist/#commentsTue, 26 Jan 2016 16:35:56 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=1027Soooo, Texas joined the line of states who, spurred on by the incredulous claims of those Center for Medical Progress edited bullshit-fest videos, were investigating Planned Parenthood.

Now every other state that has done this has found PP to be innocent of the crime of selling baby parts through the black market or for profit or for Satanic ritual or whatever. All of them. It’s like requiring everyone on welfare to take drug tests: a complete waste of time and taxpayer resources. Usually spurned on by the same people in the party that is supposed to be all about saving tax payers money. Irony!

Sooo, Texas did this investigation, and as everyone with enough sense to smell bullshit when it’s on film predicted, found no wrongdoing by PP.

Just look at them, shameless and proud of their near nakedness, posting pictures and showing off. Would you want your kid to bring such hussies home all like, “I want to marry him!”. Nay, I say, nay! Just look at how little respect these men have for themselves!

Wait, what was that? I shouldn’t hold these men to the same standards as they’re holding women? Why, I wonder? It’s not like there’s a double standard at play OH WAIT YES THERE IS!

See, boys (may I call you boys? Tough, I’m calling you boys), what you’re doing is what most mature adults would call “Being a hypocritical jackwagon”. I’m going to assume that you probably are very aware of it, and are exploiting the fact that it’s a-okay for you to pose half-naked and get no shit for it, while a woman doing the same thing would be buried under the weight of the shit she would receive: creepy comments, harassment, calls of “slut” and “whore”, etc. And heaven forbid if a woman held the same standards as you do.

“It’s just the way it is!” some folks will argue. “It’s a double standard, but there’s nothing we can do about it! It’s natural/human nature/*insert other evo psych bullshit here*!”

The only ones holding up that double standard are you, while the rest of us are trying to get past that sort of nonsense. How many of these assholes (or those who nod right along in agreement) might have Tumblrs full of half naked women to wank to? Are any of them fans of upskirt/downshirt pics? Then it takes some damn nerve to judge anyone who volunteers to show off their bodies with the same pride these guys show off their pecs, abs, and chest?

My flabber is gasted. Or it would be if I wasn’t oh so painfully aware of sexism. Do better boys.

Or at least cover up. I can see your nipples.*

*Obvious Disclaimer is Obvious: Yes, I know the answer isn’t for everyone to actually put clothes on, but for everyone to be free enough to wear whatever amount of clothing they want, snap photos, and post them on any social media site they have access to. Duh. Now you don’t have to argue for/against it in the comments. Cheers!

]]>12573190_1673580399551158_511631495924308607_nfeminace12573190_1673580399551158_511631495924308607_n12525144_1673580242884507_5735183613094338987_oEntitled Employershttps://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/01/22/entitled-employers/
https://feminace.wordpress.com/2016/01/22/entitled-employers/#commentsFri, 22 Jan 2016 23:13:41 +0000http://feminace.wordpress.com/?p=978Ugh, so there’s a meme going around whining yet again about how this generation is lazy and entitled and don’t want to work the high stress job of chef’s assistant and blah blah blah.

And of course the Millennial Hate Amen Choir starts up to agree and my eyes roll out of my head.

I read the requirement and immediately stopped at “comes to work when sick” and then stopped again at “comes to work when sick to prove that they are sick”. Call me germaphobic, but I’d rather not have anyone from front staff to kitchen staff to the folks who wash the dishes coming into a dining establishment sick. If that’s a definition of “hard work”, treating your employees like lying children, then give me lazy. My immune system will thank you.

And you know what? I’m done with being told that this generation is ‘lazy’ when it comes to jobs. Growing up, we were told that we had to get an education because working a McJob was the worst thing ever. And now we’re told that we’re too entitled because maybe we want to either work a job that pays more or that we want the McJob we already have to pay us more.

The entitlement is with the companies. They’re the ones who try to get double the work with half the staff. They’re ones who fire their employees and then rehire them as contractors. They’re the ones cheaping out on the hours so they don’t have to give their employees health insurance. They’re the ones who hire temps for 2,3,4,5 years, add on to their responsibilities, and don’t even bother giving them a raise, ever mind an upgrade to full time employment.

They’re the ones who feel entitled to their employee’s time outside of working hours. They’re the ones who feel entitled to their employee’s labor, but not enough to pay them well for it. They’re the ones with no loyalty to labor.

And they got the damn nerve to get all pissy when workers demand to be treated as human. Yes, we want our breaks, yes we want our lunches, yes we want a space to pump breast milk, yes we want more vacation hours, yes we want sick days and be treated like adults when we take one, yes we want insurance, yes we want a better work/life balance, yes we want an actual work/life balance. Yes we want a better deal than the previous generation before us got because I’ll be damned if shit ain’t all that great for us now.

As you can see in this picture, I use a cane. It’s pretty and shiny and it’s name is Draco. Let me let you in on a little secret; I don’t need it at all times. So why do I carry it?

When most people think about disability, they think of people bed bound. They think of 100% blindness, deafness, muteness. They think of wheelchairs and walkers and crutches all day long. They think of missing limbs and catastrophic brain injuries, but only the ones that leaves one capable of only drooling in the corner. They think of that sweet bagger at the grocery store, trying their best.

And then, they stop thinking.

That’s where we get the heartless claims like,

“Most people on disability are lying and cheating the system.”

“Oh, poor you, have a bad back? Take some aspirin and get back to work.”

“I know she’s on Social Security, but I saw her walk to the mail box without her wheelchair yesterday! She’s a cheat!”

You know, shit like that.

If they bothered to keep thinking, they might discover a few things. They might discover the concept of “good days” and “bad days”. They might realize that disabilities come in different levels and flavors and severity. They might realize that not all disabilities are in the legs. They might get what ‘chronic’ means. They might even realize that mental illnesses can actually be disabling.

See, for me, a good day is getting up without using the headboard to lift myself. It’s getting up and down the stairs slowly, actually getting shit done around the house. It’s not needing to sit in my chair to put on pants and socks. It’s feeling up for dialing a number and speaking to someone. It’s standing or sitting in front of people and talking to them without feeling like fleeing (too much) It’s not needing my cane to get around to say, the corner store. It’s feeling like going to the corner store.

It’s feeling that I don’t want to die today.

A bad day is, well, turn all that on it’s head. It’s being so tired that my day turns into a series of naps. It’s sliding against the wall going down the stairs, or just not bothering with them at all. It’s crying in bed or in front of my computer for no discernible reason and ignoring PMs and sending phone calls to voicemail. It’s going 3-4 days in the same pajamas without showering because who the fuck cares, right? It’s being so anxious that I don’t even want to exchange greetings with anyone who lives with me. It’s beating up on myself for being worthless. It’s considering my options for suicide.

And yeah, those are cane days. I lean on the fucker when I know I’ll be standing for a long period of time (like waiting for a bus) or around people for a while (the grip is nice and steady). I use it to get in and out of the car. On the bus, I sit in the preferential seating.

When someone asks me why I use a cane, I give a short answer. “Oh, I have fibro.”

What I want to say is “Because we live in a society that values our ability to labor over quality of life, I worry about being judged on my ‘good days’, so I carry it with me at all times whenever I leave the house.”

But those are longer words. And they require people to think. It’s a bit much to think about for others.