Editorial: I Used To Be A Scientologist. Now I’m Just An Easily-Manipulated Person.

For a long stretch of my life…a dark, regrettable, period, I was a member of the Church of Scientology. In fact, I served as a high-ranking member of the church for nearly 20 years.

But now, I am happy to say I am out of the Church’s grips, and have returned to being a gullible person who will believe anything I am told.

Being in the Church was a challenging ordeal. I found myself believing ridiculous things like humans are aliens and L. Ron Hubbard is a sex icon. I submitted myself to whatever my superiors desired of me. I blindly believed anything and everything passed down to me by higher members of the church.

Fortunately for me, one day I was approached by an activist named Rich who told me the truth about Scientology. He told me the stories were fabricated and the church uses intimidation and other psychology tactics to gain power and financial support. He told me Tom Cruise is a liar and Top Gun isn’t that good.

Knowing what I was told now, I can’t believe how I was sucked in! It is incredible how such a naive person like myself got caught up in something so calculated and deceitful. Thank goodness I can now go back to being my normal, easily-manipulated self!

With a fresh perspective, I am eager to go back out into the world as a free man. Rich has told me wonderful things about a group called ISIS. Did you know America is a corrupt vessel of Satan that must be destroyed at all costs? Rich has opened my eyes to many truths about the world.