Monday, January 31, 2011

So, it's been a hectic two weeks. First off, just got my approved timecard and realized I have over 30 hours in overtime in the last two weeks. But I have a gaming convention coming up soon with my sweetie so that means more money for more geeky goodness. :-)

I also bought a kindle, and so far I adore it. I even made a nifty 'hitchhikers guide to the galaxy' cover for it.

So my dad has been kinda sick since the new year. I'm 25. He's 74. However about 2 weeks ago he wasn't able to walk anymore, wasn't eating, couldn't even use his hands or anything. So, my mother had to call an ambulance and we were worried about ALS, since most of the men in. His family had it. To say I had a few mental breakdowns was putting it mildly. I even found myself praying..which is odd. Typically, I follow my fathers theory on religion...there is a higher power out there, so don't be a dick, but whoever they are, they don't need to hear you whining to them about every little thing, especially since most of it you can do yourself.

Luckily, it is not ALS. My dad has had gout his whole life. We found out he stopped taking his meds 6 months ago. The specialist who came in said it was the worst gout attack she has seen in her over 30 years of practice. They pulled over 40 cubic centimeters of fluid out of one knee joint alone. They have him in a nursing home/home rehab until he can walk again, since my parents house and a wheelchair are not an option...yay little polish houses.

Due to this, and a Lot of back and forth to the hospital and rehab has made my eating habits kinda suck. But I've been pretty good at work.

I haven't been weighing myself lately, but I know in the last 6 months my high has been 384.2 and my low has been 376.0

So I jumped on the scale today. 380.4...so I have gained some weight, which is depressing, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective....to have 2 major holidays and then this happen has been a lot, on top of a ton of work hours. It could have been worse. I meant to join Ballys but the cheap offer they made expired about a week after the crap with my dad started...so I'm going to have to wait until the next one. Luckily, they are pretty persistant.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

So, I am against new years resolutions. Nobody keeps them. But, with it being a new decade...it's time for a change.

One of these things is to be more positive. Too often I get onto negativity, and I have an irritating mental issue known as bipolar, and seasonal afflictive disorder. However, I refuse to use either as an excuse. If I don't use it as an excuse for work, then why even look at it as a crutch in real life. I know bipolar people who fall back on it...and I can't let myself go there. Part of my religion (which can most accuratly described as an odd mix of Christian-Druid) is that I don't harm others. And letting my mental afflictions run rampart can hurt others. I've watched it happen to others, and it's heartbreaking.

So, I've deleted my old posts, except for my 50 goals list. Maybe having more positivity will garner me more friends....but I'm going to stop caring about that, I hope. I'm not going to sit here and beat myself up for lack of support. This road isn't going to be easy and it's unfair to expect anyone to follow around with this fight.

I might try to cuss less....but that's on my lower priority...swear words don't hurt anyone...and George Carlin is amazing....ironically, my father was at the summerfest show in Milwaukee when he was arrested onstage for doing the 7 things routine...

I'm joining a gym...since it's time for a change, and I need to stop caring about people staring at me. Just crank the music and tune them out.

Any suggestions for music? I like a little of everything so I'm open for any good suggestions...

- Posted from my iCrack...please forgive misspellings or words that make no sense due to the retarded AUTOCORRECT (I assure you, I am the daughter of a navyman, not a waterfowl enthusiast )