BUBBLE-GUM
RECORD GOES POP!

Girl
Mouse from Cheddarton Blows World's Largest Bubble By Larry Keys

CHEDDARTONAt the Cheddarton Fairgrounds today, the judges
of the Ratness Book of World Records announced a new
achievement: the world's largest bubble-gum bubble. The new
record was set by nine-year-old Mousalita Longtail, who puckered
up, then huffed and puffed an enormouse wad of gum into a
bubble measuring six and a half feet across!

Of course, with the equivalent of a hot-air balloon stuck
to her lips, the skinny young mouse started to rise. In fact,
she was more than 50 feet in the air when her mother noticed,
and began squeaking to anyone who would listen, "Save
my daughter! Save my daughter!"

Mousalita, completely unafraid, began drifting slowly over
the fairgrounds, waving happily to the rodents below. Meanwhile,
several fairgoers called 911, and within minutes the Cheddarton
Fire Department arrived with their fire net. They formed a
circle, and held it below the young mouse.

"Pop the bubble, Miss," urged Fire Chief Mouselli.

"Mnnnn-mnnn," Mousalita answered, which some of
the younger mice in the crowd were able to translate as "unh-uh"
(in other words, "no").

What were they to do? Mrs. Longtail was near hysterics and
the firemice were getting impatient, but Mousalita was having
the time of her life, flying solo without a care in the world.

Luckily, her schoolmate Ratsy Swootz knew what to do. He
pulled his peashooter out of his back pocket, put it to his
lips, took careful aim and "Whooosh, bang!"
Mousalita dropped safely into the waiting fire net, and the
day was saved.

Tonight, the rodents of Cheddarton are proud of Mousalita's
world record. They've forgiven her for the excitement she
caused, and the only problem remaining is how to get the bubble-gum
off the fire chief.

FISHERMAN CATCHES
MERMOUSE

Half-Fish,
Half-Mouse Creature No Longer Just a Legend
By Teddy von Muffler

NEW MOUSE CITYA local fishermouse named Chumley Cheddar
hauled in his nets, and came up with something that's not
supposed to exist: a mermouse.

"She's really beautiful," Cheddar told a reporter.
"She has long golden fur on her head, and shiny blue
scales on her tail. And she sings like an angel."

But when asked to show his catch, the fishermouse flatly
refused. "She's my friend, and she doesn't have to see
anybody if she doesn't want to."

Professor Sherman Smartrat, an expert on ocean life, doesn't
believe Cheddar's claim: "A mouse has a very different
structure from a cold-blooded fish. There is no way the two
life-forms could become one creature."

But Cheddar answered, "Science can't explain everything.
A mermouse is magic, and with magic, anything is possible."

Other fishermice defend their friend Chumley's honesty. "Chum
never told a fish story in his life," said Cheddar's
first mate, Henry "Hooks" Havarti.

Movie producers, TV executives, circus owners, and others
have all come to see the mermouse, but so far, no one has
been allowed aboard the boat. Cheddar continues to go out
fishing, and returns every night to his dock. Other boat owners
claim that while out at sea, they've seen the mermouse jump
off the boat, dive into the sea, and climb back aboard again.

Is she real? No one knows for sure. But at night, when the
moon is full, a faint, sweet song can be heard around the
docks. The sea breeze seems to blow a little warmer, a little
gentler, and the water in the bay sparkles like a sky full
of shooting stars.