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Being in the midst of looking for a car online, I started thinking about the similarity in the process of how to get a man through online matchmaking services.

Online dating wasn’t as widely used sixteen years ago when I was “on the market”, but the comparison with my car search gave me a real sense of how overwhelming the process can be today. There are a gazillion brands and models of cars with a multitude of options and price tags. I know my price range, so that makes it a bit easier, but not much.

The sorting process is confusing and distressing with so many factors to consider, especially if it’s a used car. Even though you might like the brand, model, and age of the car, you really don’t know for sure how comfortable it’s going to be on a long drive,if there are any hidden defects, or if it’s going to cost you too much in the long run with ongoing problems. Sounds like a man search to me!

Absolutely! In fact, most of the women I’ve known who’ve found their “love of my life” have said he was nothing like they had imagined, including my own.

The difference was either his appearance, his type of work, his lifestyle, socio-economic level, his personality, or even his values. The most interesting difference I’ve heard about is in a recent article in Oprah Magazine called “The One”. The author, Allison Cooper, shares her poignant story of finding the man of her dreams who, as it turns out, used to be a woman. While Cooper and her man don’t consider themselves gay, she reveals the difficulty in explaining to family and friends how she could fall in love with a former woman who transformed herself into a man. No one was more surprised than Cooper herself. Read more http://budurl.com/judgenot(more…)

Remember the song Free Falling by Tom Petty? This song can be interpreted in so many ways,

everything from he’s happy to be free from a woman he just broke up with, to the other extreme that he’s addicted to drugs and leaves her because she’s a good girl he doesn’t deserve. He has his freedom, but he feels like he’s free falling from a drug high to the ground. Sounds like a very scary thing, like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. Hear it sung by John Mayer here. http://budurl.com/freefall(more…)

– but when it comes to finding Mr. Right, you get feelings of pressure around sustaining a good relationship once you’ve found it? Perhaps you’re a high achiever and worry that you won’t be able to meet potentially higher expectations from your dream man or for your relationship. Could it be you’re afraid of commitment? Or, is it possible you have a fear of being “found out?” What I mean by that is the fear that Mr. Right won’t think you’re all that special once he gets to know you well. (more…)