I don’t want kids. Not even if a worldwide nuclear apocalypse halted production of condoms etc. But in the process of not telling my mother this, my brain somehow got onto naming the children I’m not having. I really want to name my first daughter Ana Rose, even though Rose is not my favorite (please don’t hate me). Actually, all of my daughters are going to have some form of the Hebrew word for grace in their names. How can you say no to names like Annabeth and Annabelle?

But I also kind of want to name my kids Dramione, Zutara, and Killugon.

Beauty and the Beast is probably one of my favorite Disney movie ever, even though I didn’t see it properly until I was fifteen. You know how we say men never stop for directions? I like the idea of the man being lost until he finds a woman to fight for. Maybe the woman doesn’t even love him, maybe he never loves her, but she touched his life in a way that he can never deny. That aside, I like the BatB storyline.

OTP #1: Dramione. Probably the first non-canon thing I really shipped. Or one of my first ships, anyway. This was the ship I read on Harrypotterfanfiction.net and the ship that I most attempted fanfiction for. I like the idea of the boy too proud to admit that he likes a girl perceived as inferior to him. (That’s canon, by the way, which makes me really happy.) I hope my son (maybe a daughter would get teased less though) will be smart and earnest, but will also know when he’s the best person in the room and when he needs to stand up for what he believes in. I hope he understands how important honesty is, not just telling the truth, but being genuine about it.

OTP #2: Zutara. Am I mean enough to name a boy Zutara? Probably. I want Zutara to have dedication and passion. I want him to hold on to what he believes and to protect the people who are important to him. I want him to be honorable, but also to be kind and to be compassionate. I want him to be a fighter, but not an aimless one.

OTP #3: Killugon. Unlike Dramione and Zutara, which are both Beauty and the Beast ships, both members of the Killugon ship are boys. They are also 13. When I say, “I ship it,” I forget that most people mean it sexually. I don’t read sexuality into Killugon, although I think Killua might be a bit in love with Gon (I haven’t finished it yet, no spoilers). Kind of how my version of Johnlock is Sherlock being a bit in awe of this man who is so good and honorable being his friend, that’s how I see Killugon. Killua can’t believe that Gon accepts him for who he is: murderer, coward, darkness. But Gon doesn’t care about any of that. Killua is his friend, and Gon will stick by him through anything. I hope my son Killugon is like that. I hope he has the skill and smarts of Killua and the heart and guts of Gon. I hope he never lets anyone talk him out of his loyalty, and he never walks away from someone who needs him.

I may have thought about this a little too hard. All I can say is, it’s lucky I’m a writer. I gets loads of chances to rename my “children.”