Mary Hollis Baird

Achievements

About Mary Hollis Baird

Latest Articles Written

One of my favorite things when I’m watching a TV show or movie, reading a book, or listening to music is the sometimes random occurrence of a horse. Now, I’m not talking about Mr. Ed, War Horse, The Saddle Club TV show, or one of numerous equine-focused book series. I’m talking about the random pop-up of equines in otherwise-unrelated pop culture.

Usually these instances of random equine stories are a romantic horse and carriage ride and/or a horse poop joke. Yet, there are some pieces of pop culture that feature our favorite animal in utterly odd ways.

Bojack Horseman

Bojack Horseman is a Netflix, animated, dark comedy about an aging sitcom star, who is an anthropomorphized horse. His hit show in the ’90s was Horsin’ Around, a Full House-esque show about a horseman who adopts three orphans … shenanigans ensue. As this review of Horsin’ Around illustrates, there’s nothing this show likes better than puns.

Photo credit: Netflix.

“Not to be a neigh-sayer but this family sitcom is so saddled with lame horse-themed puns it might have to be put out to pasture. Ratings remain stable despite the unbridled mediocrity of the acting and hackneyed, half-assed writing. The syrupy plots should be sent straight to the glue factory. If wishes were horses, beggars would beg to watch a different show. Frankly the pony gags tend to yield diminishing returns and the mane attraction of this rodeo is the talented young actress Sarah Lynn, who performance might shine if she were given better material. Skip this season and change the channel to a horse of a different color.”

In a recent season 5 episode, “Bojack the Feminist,” Bojack is going along with a PR strategy for his new show that includes being a ‘male feminist’ wearing a shirt with the slogan “Feminism is Bay” [here’s a primer on the bae meme, for anyone who is behind the internet times].

Photo credit: Netflix.

For being a show that’s literally about a horse, his equine nature doesn’t come up very often. However, there is a whole subplot about him being cast as the eponymous role in the Secretariat biopic.

Chestnut (2 Broke Girls)

Photo credit: Cliff Lipson/CBS.

Bringing up another bay that should be a chestnut … there is a horse character in the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls. The premise of the show is obvious in the title. One of the broke girls used to be a rich Manhattan socialite, so obviously she had a horse: a champion jumper named Chestnut (yes, even though he’s bay).

Photo credit: Cliff Lipson/CBS.

Chestnut lives in the middle of Brooklyn, in an apartment courtyard, no matter the weather. The plausibility of the storyline aside (Where does all the manure go? Who is their hay provider? Does he need wormer in the city?), the broke girls love Chestnut and end up finding a more responsible living situation for him later in the series.

Full House finale episode: “Michelle Rides Again”

Over the years there were a few equine stories on Full House, but who could forget the finale episode. For those who weren’t children in the ’90s. the Full House finale featured the youngest Tanner, Michelle (played alternately by the Olsen twins), falling off her pony in the woods instead of competing in the hunter show with her friend.

Michelle ends up having amnesia from the concussion (don’t worry, in true Full House fashion, she regains her memories and everyone is happy).

It’s a bit of a stretch as far as horse storylines go, however, the episode does portray some of the pressure of a horse show well.

Beyoncé

A rule I live by is that any pop-culture list must include Beyoncé. She is the ruling queen of American media and must be treated as such. My personal favorite equine-and-Beyoncé moment is the money shot in her “Who Run the World (Girls)” music video…

A gorgeous, rearing, black Friesian … I mean, what little horse-obsessed kid can’t relate to this image of empowerment.

Honorable mention: Science also named a horsefly after Beyonce because of its “spectacular gold color.” Now I know horseflies are not friends of our actual horses, but they are extremely important pollinators for the environment!

No equine pop culture list would be complete without a mention of Li’l Sebastian. Anyone who has watched the tv show Parks and Recreation will appreciate the grand importance of this miniature horse to the residents of Pawnee, Indiana.

Most of the shows Li’l Sebastian related humor is how everyone absolutely loves him except for the town transplant, Ben Wyatt (played by Adam Scott).

Li’l Sebastian also gets a song written about him by Andy (played by everyone’s favorite dinosaur wrangler, Chris Pratt).

While this is not a comprehensive list, it’s a few of my favorites. Let me know what random equine occurrences I missed and that you love!
Go Eventing.

Fall eventing has officially begun! Temperatures are starting to slightly drop and days are getting a bit shorter. There were a few Championship divisions and Young and Future Event Horses showing off this weekend — we’ve highlighted those results with asterisks.

Shout out to Courtney Cooper and Caia Z for having the lowest finishing score in the country of 21.9 in the Open Training at Flora Lea H.T.

The next thing you know, the dreaded winter coats will start growing in earnest. Until then, we all can appreciate a lack of intense summer heat and slightly fresher horses in the morning.

Applying for jobs is not fun. It’s even less fun when the only references on your resumé are non-verbal, 1,200-pound quadrupeds.

I recently have made the transition out of the professional “horse world.” I went back to college after riding and working in Ocala for five years. Making the decision to get out of Florida and the professional equine industry for me was scary because all my past experiences and hard work might not matter to anyone else.

The thing about eventing employment, like managing barns and working student gigs, is that you work hard and build a very specific skill-set. Besides being an ace stall-mucker and barn-aisle blower, I gained valuable expertise, like: working in a team environment; training and managing new employees; making clients feel heard and happy. Translating your roster of equine abilities into a resume is not an entirely effortless endeavor.

Photo courtesy of Mary Hollis Baird.

So here are some hopefully useful resumé tips that might help:

1. Use numbers. People don’t always understand equine jargon, but if you can say something like, “Implemented a 30% more efficient daily routine, allowing our team to maximize the time in our day,” that’s just a fancy way of saying I saved time by keeping the horses in for the morning while we rode and then turning them out in the afternoon. It’s all about utilizing your vocabulary to get noticed.

Another way to use numbers is by assessing a value to the horses to help future employers understand the responsibility that you were tasked with everyday. For example, an ex-working student for a high performance barn in Ocala could say, “Provided daily care for 10 sport horses ranging in value from $10,000-$80,000.”

2. Brag! Don’t be shy about trying to impress people; for example, if you worked for an Olympic athlete, mention that! It connotes a level of competency into a context that non-equine professionals can understand.

3. Skills are skills are skills are skills. You can highlight soft skills on your resumé. Sometimes these will get you more traction with an employer than specific industry experience. For instance:

Motivating and directing your fellow barn workers is the same as working with any employees at other organizations.

4. References! You will need them, but definitely give people you are asking for references from a heads up. Horse people can be wonderful and charismatic; however, they might not quite realize what your future employer needs or wants to hear about you. Brief your references on the types of positions you are applying for and what you’d prefer them to convey — this way they are more prepared for the nature of questions that might be asked of them about you.

Having an out of the box resumé can be so helpful. Employers will notice you, it’s your job to make sure they notice the right things.

Good luck and Go Eventing (on the weekends because you have a real job now)!