Raising awareness of the needs of
our children is crucial. Setting high
standards and goals will be an important first step to greater accomplishments.
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Squeeze Play

30

The judge looked sternly at
the ball player. He was stunned at the
mere suggestion. "Mr. Dugan," he
exclaimed, "You will do no such
thing. Either we will score our runs
honorably or not at all!"

Rabbi Mordechai Kaminetzky
Dr. Robert Rome

16

Getting Past
The Whatever
Attitude

To me, nothing captures the spirit of
the times like this ubiquitous whateverness. We are a Whatever Generation who lives by the motto of "live
and let live."

The Girl
In The Skirt

32

I had never been so nervous
to start a job before, but then again,
this time was different. Unlike every
other first day of work I had ever
had, this time I was wearing a skirt.
Rucheli Manville

Chana Weisberg

COMMUNITY LINKS • Volume 8 Issue 197
6 December 30, 2011

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8 December 30, 2011

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9 December 30, 2011

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Few articles that I have written have triggered the kind of
response as my last article in Community Links focusing on
protecting our children and their needs. I received phone calls
and emails. Some readers have actually stopped me on the
street or at synagogue. Comments have been varied, but many
have described how they and their children have experienced
many of the problems I noted. They welcomed continued
discussion regarding school and teacher standards and other
points raised in the article.
There were also calls pointing out issues that were not discussed in my article. I would like to take this opportunity to
feature some of the concerns raised in the comments that
were received. Among the issues in the comments that were
received:

sations. The internet can be a useful resource much of the
time. But the internet also has the power to destroy. Be careful. Don’t judge anyone only by what you read on the Internet.
Our schools maintain accreditation. A woman who has
served as Principal of two separate schools wrote to point out
that virtually all of our day schools and yeshivas voluntarily
achieve accreditation from the Western Association of Schools
and Colleges. Some even voluntarily achieve accreditation
from other recognized, higher accrediting agencies. Our
schools set standards and work hard to achieve those standards. I think this Principal’s comments are important so we
can see the schools in properly a more favorable light. I remain concerned, however, that the standards actually set by

Some Real Concerns About Protecting Our Children:
A Community Discussion About Jewish Education
No one polices websites. Be careful when on the Internet!
My article noted an Internet site which lists sex offenders in
the community. While the site described does indeed list some
who have been convicted of offenses against children, the site
also lists individuals who have never even been accused of a
crime by the police, let alone convicted. A single student who
may be mad at a teacher may lodge an unfounded charge to
get even. The site I had mentioned does not differentiate between a student accusation and a conviction in court. Such a
site can destroy the reputation of a Rabbi or other teacher on
the basis of only an unfounded accusation by an upset student.
Indeed, in a least one case, the website has kept the name of
a Rabbi on the list where the police have reviewed the accusations and found that there was no basis for any charges. While
there are numerous offenses committed against children, we
must protect those working with children against false accu-

our schools are too low. Why should we have state-credentialed teachers only for secular studies? Don’t we see the importance of Jewish studies? We are creating the Jewish leaders
of tomorrow. Experienced, qualified, and talented teachers
are needed to accomplish this. And should we not demand
that administrators of our schools are also appropriately
trained? Many of the concerns in our Jewish schools relate
to disciplinary issues and other learning problems, problems
which can be addressed and in many cases resolved through
proper learning plans and know-how shown by our Jewish educators and administrators. We require trained educators who
understand how to include children with special concerns in
the classroom. Kudos to our schools for successfully achieving accreditation. But let’s enter a broader discussion about
future goals in Jewish education. We can do better.

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D
10 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

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Money is key! One reader wrote that
more could be accomplished in our
schools if our educators did not have
to spend so much time and effort raising money. The annual dinner of
schools may take a half year or more
of the time of the School Head to organize and fundraise. With so much
effort in fundraising, and so little funds
to run the schools, it becomes hard to
work on educational goals. There is an
interesting article in this month’s OU
(Orthodox Union) magazine on solving the financial crises in our Jewish
schools. That article suggests that we
turn more and more toward public resources for our schools. We need to
rally as a community for unity in support of our schools. In most states in
the U.S., Jewish schools get support
from the state and local school districts. In New York, transportation is
provided to yeshivas by publicly
funded school buses. In New Jersey,
special education and resource assistance are provided in the Jewish
schools by the school districts. Vouchers are provided in Milwaukee to help
fund tuition for children and families
in need. Other states provide textbooks and library resources to Jewish
schools. In California, the Board of
the Jewish Federation in Los Angeles
actually voted to oppose a ballot
proposition that would have provided
vouchers to needy families to pay for
tuition for Jewish schools. By working
against the larger community interest,
our schools lost millions of dollars that
are desperately needed. We need either
to work with the community leadership to change their direction, or we
need to remove the community “leadership.” Either Jewish education matters or it does not matter. We need to
unite against those opposed to bettering our Jewish schools in the guise of
supporting our public schools. I remain hopeful that a community-wide
discussion of how to bring the best
and most resources to our schools can
11 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

sxc

yield positive results.
We have lost important resources. In
the last article, I had noted that the
L.A. Unified School District had provided psychoeducational testing onsite
at our Jewish schools for students suspected of learning needs. Unfortunately, one of the educators in the
community pointed out that the
School District stopped providing this
service this year. This is a shame. It
costs no more to test a student onsite
in the Jewish day school than at the
public school site. It basically involves
the same amount of time for a school
psychologist to test in either location.
Unfortunately, as many students and
parents feel uncomfortable within the
public school setting, there are those
who need evaluations who will go
without. Furthermore, the published
standards for testing of our children
actually call for the evaluation of children within their natural environment.
Testing in the actual school of the
child, the Jewish school, is the most
valid setting for the best results. We
need community leaders to renegotiate
with the School District this important
service to our community. We can
hope.
Raising awareness of the needs of
our children is crucial. Setting high
standards and goals will be an important first step to greater accomplishments. And we need to provide our
children with a safe and protected environment, free from danger and
abuse.
I am honored to be part of this important discussion. I greatly appreciate
the extent of community interest in
our children and in Jewish education.
Keep the comments coming…

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parent turns to her teenaged
son and asks, "What's bothering you?" "Whatever," answers the kid with a disconsolate
shrug.

much of an exertion to express a passionate stand, to formulate a well-reasoned opinion, or to intervene with
practical assistance. So we suffice with
"Whatever."

A husband enquires of his wife,
The whatever mindset has seeped
"Did I do something to upset you? Is into every facet of our society—into
something wrong?" Her disappointed politics, into our schools, the workface grimaces, "Whatever…"
place, our relationships, even how we
A father questions his daughter, dress. Youngsters and adults wear
"Have you finished your homework? frayed cuffs, torn jeans, underclothing
Did you study for your test?" The peeking out or pants almost falling
daughter turns up the volume on her off. Anything that screams "What-

Perhaps it began as true tolerance for
the practices of others. Maybe the
media bombardment of atrocities and
calamities—natural or man-caused—
created within us this defense mechanism to counteract feelings of
absolute helplessness in the face of so
much tragedy. Or maybe it happened
with the fast-paced speed of technological advancement: with the whole
world our village, we sense ourselves
to be insignificant in the grand
scheme of things.

Getting Past the Whatever Attitude
By Chana Weisberg

head-phones and mutters, "Whatever" (ironically, we'll spend many
ever."
hours and dollars to achieve this look
Overheard in conversation: What of casual indifference.)
should we do about the terrorism?
"Whatever" means I don't really
About the starving children in Africa?
think
that you sincerely care. Even if
About global warming? "Whatever."
you are concerned enough to ask, I
To me, nothing captures the spirit don't think that you'll put forth the
of the times like this ubiquitous what- necessary effort to change the situaeverness. We are a Whatever Genera- tion or help me improve my circumtion who lives by the motto of "live stances. So, let's be honest: if you
and let live"; our first commandment don't really care about this and I ceris "Thou shalt be open-minded to tainly don't, then why are we even
other people's morals," or, alterna- bothering to discuss it?
tively, their desire to be lacking in
So the teenager sulks silently and exmorals. Our openness is lauded as tolplores
all kinds of harmful pursuits in
erance, but to me it smells more like
order to forget his misery. The couple
apathy.
joins 50% of the married population
I've noticed that when I ask my chil- in divorce court because they couldn't
dren what they want for dinner, I'll be burdened with the extensive effort
never hear "Whatever"; I'll be very necessary to work through their conspecifically informed which foods flicts. And our children continue to
they like and dislike, and how they feel that their education is irrelevant.
prefer it to be cooked. But as soon as
I'm not sure how this whateverness
something beyond our most immedibecame
so ingrained in our society.
ate needs is at stake, it becomes too
16 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

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Regardless of its causes, this caustic
apathy needs to be counteracted from
the roots upward, beginning with the
earliest and most formative years of
our children's lives.
We must impart two basic values to
our children, values that Judaism has
been espousing from time immemorial:
The Torah teaches us that when
G‑d created the first human being,
Adam, He created him as a single individual (unlike every other plant or
animal species). The reason, explain
our sages, is that G‑d wished to teach
us, for all perpetuity, the importance
of every human being; that every person is indeed an entire world.
On the other hand, mankind was
created last of all creations, on the
sixth day of creation. Our sages explain that this was to teach us responsibility to our world. If a human being
acts with morals and ideals, acknowl-

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edging his responsibility for the rest of creation, he is higher
than all creatures. If, however, man shuns his responsibility,
he has sunk lower than even the smallest insect crawling on
the earth.
Our challenge is to inculcate our children with these essential, foundational beliefs:
You matter. You are important. You are a being with infinite potential. You are a whole world, and you can make an
impact. Respect yourself. Respect who you can be. And act
in accordance.

MAKE YOUR MEAL A COMBO!

As great as you are, your greatness is only reflected in realizing that there are things greater than you that are worth
sacrificing for: values and morals, community and family.
Your personal happiness is not an end to itself, but you must
feel a sense of responsibility for your world.

ADD FRIES OR A SMALL SALAD AND
A REGULAR FOUNTAIN DRINK TO ANY ITEM

These simple but fundamental values are what distinguish
us as human beings. They are essential for us to believe and
for our children to trust.
Because there is just too much at stake for us to abandon
our children to the cruelties of an irreverent and irrelevant
whatever world. •

evenge. Though the Torah
warns us against acting on
our emotions, it's hard to
control the desire. In fact, a dogma of
modern society preaches to us not to
get mad, rather to get even.
But Yoseph discloses his real identity in this week's portion, and despite
a 22-year backdrop filled with excuses
for anger, revenge, and retribution, he
stays calm and fulfilled. Surely, we
should expect to find harsh words of
criticism if not acts of payback. But
we don't. After Yoseph reveals his
identity, and the brothers are shocked,
rather than chastising his brothers,
Yoseph appeases them! "Come close to
me if you please, and they came close." And
he said, "I am Joseph your brother -- it is
me whom you sold into Egypt. And now, be
not distressed, nor reproach yourselves for
having sold me here, for it was to be a
provider that G-d sent me ahead of
you“(Genesis 45:4-5). He explains to
them that the entire scenario was not
even their doing but part of a Divine
plan to contend with the worldhunger. "Thus Hashem has sent me ahead
of you to insure your survival in the land and
to sustain you for a momentous deliverance.
And now -- it was not you who sent me here,
but G-d; He has made me father to Pharaoh,
master of his entire household, and ruler
throughout the entire land of Egypt” (ibid
v6-7). What type of man has the capacity not only to ignore horrible injustice totally, but to revel in it, saying
that it was all meant to be, without the
slightest display of bitterness or animosity? It takes an unique attitude
about life.
Joel Mandel and Julius Rosenzweig
have a large electrical supply house
in Long Island City, NY. Their vast
warehouse occupies over a million
• 323-965-1544 •

cubic feet of space containing thousands of different electrical components, from transformers as large as
the average-size garage to tiny cathodes that could dance on the head of
a pin.
It was a couple of years ago when
some electrical doo-dad, that seemed
to be a vital organ of one of my children's battery-operated what-nots,
went on the blink. With zero electrical
know-how, I decided to bring the
component to my friends at Globe
Electrical Supply and maybe they
could find me a replacement.
Weaving my way through a labyrinth
of shelves, boxes, and drawers, I
climbed some metal steps and made
my way to the old office that appeared
out of a 1950s Hollywood set. An old
wooden desk was the pedestal for a
dusty computer that probably strained
harder than their human principals to
maintain the vast inventory. I showed
the part to Joel, who looked at the tiny
part and smiled. He called over one of
the workers, "Warren," he said,

PARSHAS VAYIGASH
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"please get the rabbi a…" I couldn't make out the exact
name, but it sounded like flux-capacitator, though I
highly doubt that my kid's toy was dying for lack of a
lack of a flux-capacitator!
Like a Tomahawk missile directed toward a predestined mark, Warren took the injured electrical component, weaved through the myriad rooms, the barrage of
boxes, and an almost unlimited array of electrical paraphernalia.
Homing in on the exact location, Warren scaled a ladder that looked as if it could have been used to wash the
windows of a Manhattan skyscraper, and about 30 feet
off the ground, with amazing agility and precise guidance, he reached for his target -- a small cardboard box.
Its edges were yellowed with age, but I knew it had not
been touched in five years. He placed his hand into the
box and plucked out a component, which exactly
matched my broken one.

We offer counseling for:

As if he had rehearsed this scene from the day he
started working, he held the component between his
thumb and forefinger, then smiled, opened the human
vise, letting the piece drop into my palm. "Here's the
sucker!"

Stunned at both the accuracy and speed of the retrieval, I reacted as if I had just seen a minor miracle.
"Warren!" I exclaimed, "how'd you do that?"

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Monitored Visitation
/Child Exchange

"Do what?" he asked with a shrug.
"Do what?" I repeated with an air of incredulity. "You
just found a microscopic part hidden like a needle in all
the hay in Kansas! And you knew exactly where it was."

Individual/Family/Marriage Counseling

Warren just shrugged. "I didn't do nothin' special.
That's my job!"

Teen Counseling

When a person understands his mission, no portion
of its fulfillment merits undue emotion. In Pirkei Avos,
2:9 Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai tells us, "If you have
learned much Torah, do not pride yourself in it, for this
is the purpose for which you were created." If a person
thinks "that's my job" about his every good deed, if his
mission is clearly mapped in front of him, then all obstacles become insignificant pittances, easily overcome
and able to be ignored because after all, they are in fact
all in a day's work.

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tory installed On-Star program speaking. It comes
free with a new car purchase and is activated by the
owner when learning how
to use the car.

G-D’S PRE
SENCE
& ON-STA
R

“Rabbi.”
“Yes.”
“I know who you are,” said the voice, “I can tell where
you are exactly.”
“Tell me where I am” I said.

I soon became aware that
the GM Company will contact me by E-mail and let me
know how my car is feeling. It will let me know when I
need an oil change, air in my tires, or other incidentals. It
can also tell me how many miles I have driven and offer
me a gas allowance.
Oh, how great technology is, I thought.

“You are in your car in front of your home.”
Quite startled I answered, “I believe you are right.”
The voice continued. “I can tell you where you are at
all times. If you need help I can help you. Imagine, if
you get lost I will help you find directions. Even if you
become unable to reach for help I will do it for you.”
Now, being a bit of a skeptic, I asked “Can you really
help me find a kosher restaurant? I need one now,” I said.
“Sure,” came the answer. In less than 30 seconds the
voice said “There is a kosher restaurant in the vicinity and
I will help you get there.”
I thought I had finally arrived. God Almighty is speaking to me. I have reached new spiritual heights. I asked,
and God answered, so I thought.
But, lo and behold, to my great surprise, it wasn’t God
nor my guardian angel, it was my new General Motors fac26 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

I thought God was with
me at all times and places.
But instead of God being
my co-pilot On-Star had
kicked in. I always felt that
if I got lost or was in an accident I would pray and call
to God for help. But now
I am told that it is not necessary as On-Star will always be with me. If an
accident happens On-Star
will automatically contact
the Police, Fire Department, or Paramedics.

Jokingly I asked the On-Star operator, the person behind the voice, if On-Star could also tell me my spiritual
condition? Does it let me know how things are going, like
do I need more good deeds or spirit in my religious practice? She took my remarks in good taste and concluded
the conversation.
Still sitting in my car I contemplated what had happened. I thought how wonderful it would be if there
would indeed be a spiritual On-Star giving us directions
when we are spiritually off base, calling us in case of
emergencies to remember God and prayer. It may be that
On-Star is onto something, reminding us that the star of
the show is truly God. Guaranteed 24/7 / 365.
Rabbi Eli Hecht, Chabad of South Bay,
Vice President, Rabbinical Alliance of America
(310) 326-8234 (310) 326-1555, E-mail rabbieh@aol.com

aakov had passed from this world. His twelve
sons were left alone in a foreign world, and it was
time for reconciliation. The brothers were afraid
that with Yaakov's passing Yoseph would avenge them for
selling him to Egypt. So they sent the sons of Yaakov's
concubine Bilhah, with a message. "Your father commanded
before his death saying, 'Thus shall you tell Yoseph, please, kindly
forgive your brothers terrible deed and their sin for they have done
you evil." Yoseph assures them that he has no intent for
retribution. In fact, he promises to sustain the brothers
and their families.
The Talmud in Yevamos tells us that Yaakov would not
have suspected Yoseph to be vengeful and he never issued
the stated command. The Talmud extrapolates from this
incident that one may twist the truth for the sake of peace
and harmony. Yet it seems that there was a bit more than
twisting truth. It sems that there was an overt lie. And why
would they use Yaakov's name in this untruth? If he did
not suspect Yoseph as Rashi explains, then weren't they
insulting him by saying, "your father commanded"? The 1929
Boston Braves were owned by Judge Emil E. Fuchs. Judge
Fuchs cared basically for the financial management and
legal affairs of the team, but the depressed economy and
his unwillingness to put up with the difficult and expensive
Roger Hornsby, left the team without a manager.
Judge Fuchs, an experienced adjudicator, read the rulebook and surrounded himself with a few cronies who
would help him guide the team. Then he literally brought
his swivel chair into the dugout and began to manage the
team.

never explicitly gave the command to lie, he did issue a
game plan for the future. Before he blessed the brothers,
he gathered them together with the words, "gather yourselves
together," (Genesis 49:1-2). The charge for the future was
unity, and whatever it took to achieve unity amongst the
brothers was the core of Yaakov's wishes. The brothers
understood how to play the game of life and how their
father Yaakov would have wanted it. Peace and harmony
were the only ultimate goal. That is what all parents want
for their children and that is what the objective of the
twelve brothers was. It took a squeeze play, but harmony
was achieved. Had Yaakov been alive to manage the situation he may have also chosen the exact game plan.
Yaakov, with the guidance of his mother and a skillful deception, had his father give him the blessings that were intended for Esav.
My grandfather, Reb Yaakov Kamenetzky, of blessed
memory, once told me that attaining the highest level of
any attribute required knowing when to violate it! And to
that end, Avraham the stalwart of kindness and compassion, was ready to sacrifice his own son at God's command, surely an act of seeming brutality. Yaakov, whose
virtue is truth, knew when it was proper to mislead. And
Yaakov's sons who understood the virtue of Yaakov's
truth, also understood his quest for peace. They learned,
very well, that though sometimes it is time to swing away,
this was the time to drop a gentle bunt.

It was late in the summer of that dismal season, and the
team had just been on a losing streak. Miraculously, however, it seemed that the down streak was about to end.
The game was tied in the bottom of the ninth and the
bases were loaded. The Braves were batting and Judge
Fuchs gave the orders to swing away.
After one strike, the batter, Joe Dugan, called time and
approached his well-respected manager. "Judge," the
player suggested, "the rookie at third base is playing well
behind the bag. If I drop a bunt, we'll squeeze in the winning run!"
The judge looked sternly at the ball player. He was
stunned at the mere suggestion. "Mr. Dugan," he exclaimed, "You will do no such thing. Either we will score
our runs honorably or not at all!"
The Sha'ar Bas Rabim explains that though Yaakov

30 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

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Squeeze Play
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The Girl in the Skirt
By Rucheli Manville

My heart was racing… I had never
been so nervous to start a job before,
but then again, this time was different. Unlike every other first day of
work I had ever had, this time I was
wearing a skirt.
It's interesting how much of a difference a piece of clothing can make.
In a world that blatantly
judges you based on what
you look like, and a society
that makes it all but impossible to change first impressions, what you wear is a
sure-fire way to make a statement. I had already accomplished that by wearing a
skirt-suit to the interview.
After all, what woman does
that these days? Every girl
who wants to go places in a
field dominated by men
knows well enough to dress
like a power-house, and that
means a pants-suit that says,
"I can hang with the big
boys." Maybe they just
thought I was behind the
times or thoroughly overdressed? In either case, skirtsuits to an interview are one
thing...wearing a skirt to your
first day of work at a manufacturing
and assembly facility falls under an
entirely new category.
I scanned my ID and walked
through the double-doors out onto
the factory floor. I could feel the
stares coming my way. A girl setting
foot on the factory floor was a somewhat uncommon occurrence to begin
with. Now add in the fact that I was
wearing a black pencil skirt instead of
the customary slacks or even more
standard jeans, and the blue-collared
32 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

workers nearest to the door seemed
to be in downright shock. I could already tell that this was going to be an
interesting day.
Telling myself to stop being so selfconscious, I walked into the office to
greet my new boss. "Good morning,
Mark! How are you?" I internally

clothing," he stated, pointing out his
own slacks and polo. "Everyone here
dresses a little more relaxed. Polos
and slacks are fine, and since you'll be
on the manufacturing floor most of
the time, I have no problem with you
wearing jeans if you'd like." This was
the conversation I had been waiting
for… How could I tell my boss that I
don't wear pants without
sounding like a freak of nature? Without finding an easy
way around it, I decided to go
for the straight shot. "Umm,
well, I don't really wear pants,
Mark. Just skirts really." I
sounded so awkward.

breathed a sigh of relief at not letting
my nervousness come across in my
greeting. "Living the dream!" was the
answer. Another sigh of relief; a boss
in such a great mood would make this
day much, much easier. Yet even
though Mark seemed to be impressed
by my timeliness (eight minutes early),
he joined the masses in giving my
wardrobe choice a once-over.

I had known that this conversation was coming, and I
had asked my Rabbi about it
ahead of time. What should I
say? I had just made the life-altering decision to throw out
the last pair or two of my
jeans, an action that is almost
devastating to a 22 year old
from a secular background. I
hadn't worn those jeans in
months, but they felt as much
of a part of me as my hair did.
And although, I didn't really
want to wear jeans to work, at
the moment it was tempting to revert
back to old ways just to avoid the unseemly situation at hand. Even
though I could bring a pair of pants
to work with me, change when I got
there, and change back when I left (if
it was absolutely needed for safety
reasons), I had decided to stick to my
guns and see what would happen, and
here I was.

"I'm glad you've decided to take our
work here very seriously, but you can
really come to work in more casual

don't wear pants?" This was getting
more awkward by the second.
"Umm… meaning I don't own any
pants. At all." Mark cocked his head
to the side and gave me a look that
had "Interesting…" written all over it.
A few seconds ticked by in silence.
"Okay."
Okay? I was caught completely offguard, but Mark seemed content to
leave it at that, passing me on to my
trainer and good friend, Haley. The
morning continued with the standard
first-day paperwork and the more indepth tour of the facility. The requisite introductions to anyone and
everyone that we happened to meet
along the way ensured that as many
people as possible saw my unusual
outfit. Yet despite the staring, no one
else said anything to me at all, and my
day flew by, ending without any further incidents.
The next day, I decided to meet my
boss somewhere in the middle, showing up in a polo shirt with a black
long-sleeved shirt underneath and a
knee-length jean skirt instead of the
more dressy pencil skirt of the day
before. "Good morning! Is this better?" I asked my boss, half joking, as
I walked into the office. "That's
closer," he remarked with a smirk.
"I'm glad you at least wore some kind
of jean today, you're going out on the
factory floor. Ask Haley for details
when she gets back. Have fun!" Out
on the factory floor? Yeah, it would
be fun alright.
A few minutes later, Haley walked
in and led me back downstairs and
into the repair area of our manufacturing facility. More introductions,
more stares. She set me up with detailed instructions on gathering information for redoing some of our
training paperwork, walked me
through the first few steps, and then
33 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

left me to my own devices. The
morning passed by in a flash and it
was lunch-time before I knew it. I
went upstairs to grab my lunch since
the cafeteria was definitely not kosher,
and as I was heading out the door to
join Haley in the cafeteria, Mark
stopped me.
"Have a minute?" he asked me. "Of
course," I answered. "What can I help
you with?" "Before you go to lunch,
I need you to come with me. We need
to go see one of the managers downstairs." Great, already? I had only
been here for a day, what could I have
possibly messed up?! "Don't worry,"
he added. "You're not in trouble, we
just need to work out this dress code
of yours." Faaaaantastic.
We walked downstairs into the office of the Manager for Environmental, Health, and Safety (EHS) for our
plant. Mark pointed to the seat for me
and then stood next to the chair in the
corner with his arms crossed. This
was going to be fun.
"Hi Rucheli, my name is Matt, I'm
in charge of EHS here," stated the
man across the desk. "I just called you
and Mark in here to discuss your
dress here at work. You're not in trouble at all," he reassured me. Seemed
to be a common theme, yet always
followed by a clause. "But, we do
need to figure out something different. We'd really rather have you wear
pants to work for safety reasons. Your
legs need to be covered completely so
that you have some protection from
any scrap metal that may go flying
from the manufacturing machinery."
This was exactly what my Rabbi and
I had spoken about. Frustrating...I really didn't want to have to wear pants
again! I sat for a second thinking
about an answer when an idea
popped into my head.
"I'm not sure if Mark told you or
• 323-965-1544 •

not, but I don't wear pants. I actually
don't even own any. It's for religious
reasons. I do have some long jean
skirts though… Those would cover
my legs completely if that's what the
main problem is. Would that work?"
I got the same look of "Interesting…
" that I had received from my boss
the day before. And the same answer:
"Okay."
The next day I came in with yet another new wardrobe… long-sleeves
and a polo still, but this time with a
floor-length jean skirt. In the state of
Florida, as far as clothing is concerned, less is usually considered
more and this was anything but "less."
Yet despite all of the stares, the day
as a whole was pretty uneventful until
a friend of mine from school who
worked in another department, Jake,
came up to me while I was finishing
up on the factory floor. He had a
huge smile on his face, so I knew
something was up.
"Hey you, how's work so far?" he
asked. Before I could even answer, he
continued. "You've already got quite
the reputation around here."
"What?!" Any reputation I could get
after two days could not be a great
one. "Yeah, even people who haven't
met you yet have heard about you…
You're the girl in the skirt," he said
with a mischievous grin. "Perfect,
everyone thinks I'm a freak, huh?"
"Nah… everyone's just curious I
think. You attract a lot of attention
just by being here, but wearing a skirt
on a manufacturing floor is definitely
a first for these guys. I think it's endearing…" he finished. "Alright,
thanks Jake. I get the point. Good to
know I have a nickname already."
I thought that would be the end of
the interesting events for the day, but
I was wrong. As I was literally walking
out of the door, I was once again
info@communitylinks.info

stopped by my boss, for the same reason as the day before. "Let's go,"
Mark said. "We're taking another trip
down to EHS." "Another one? I
thought this worked," I answered.
"Yeah, so did I."
Back in the EHS Manager's office,
I sat in the same chair and Mark stood
in the same corner and we listened to
the same speech. "Okay so the long
skirt was a step in the right direction,
but this morning I had some of the
manufacturing supervisors come in to
express their concerns over the long
skirt… They think that the long skirts
will get caught in machinery or
snagged on a pallet, and I have to
agree. I really think we need to have
you wear jeans, Rucheli."
Time for some quick thinking...I either needed an alternative or it was
time to give in. I never thought I
would have to defend my personal
choice to dress more modestly. I said

the first thing that came to my mind.
"Well, if I can't wear long skirts but I
need to cover my legs, what if I just
wear those knee length skirts with
boots?" What was I thinking? It was
97°F outside and I was asking to
dress like it was the middle of winter?!
"What about the skin between your
boots and your skirt?" asked Matt,
looking to cover all of his bases. "I
have thick tights that I wear sometimes. They're completely opaque,
that would cover the four inches that
are left. What do you think?" I was
immediately regretting this statement,
but Matt seemed to like the idea. "Try
it out tomorrow and come see me
when you get in. We'll see if this
might work as a solution, it sounds
good to me," he said, ending the conversation. I left work that day wondering what I had just gotten myself
into. Jean skirt + calf-high boots +
thick opaque tights
+ long-sleeved tshirt + polo shirt +
summer weather =
one very overheated
Jewish
woman. How had
dressing modestly
turned into such a
huge ordeal?!
I showed up to
work the next
morning in full winter gear. It was 93°F
outside. I walked
into work hardly
even noticing the
stares and marched
straight into Matt's
office to present my
new regalia. "Perfect!" Finally. "I
think that will work
great! I'm glad we
were able to find a

34 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

• 323-965-1544 •

solution that will keep everyone else
happy with EHS and still allow you to
express your religious beliefs!" Answering in thanks, I left the office and
ran upstairs to start my day. I was already sweating.
Days passed by without any more
trips to the EHS office, but every few
days someone new would build up
the chutzpah to actually approach me
and ask why I dressed the way I did.
The first few times I responded nervously, but after a while I built up confidence in defending my decisions
and my dress-code. I learned more
about why I was doing what I was
doing, and it made a huge difference.
"Hey girl, I don't mean to offend,
but I wanted to check what yo' deal is.
You a Christian or something?" Gotta
love welders. "Nope, actually I'm an
orthodox Jew. Let me guess, my style
made you ask?" "Yeah, I thought it
was just some crazy new fashion
thang, but then I saw you dress like
'dat every day. Figured I'd come see
what up. That's cool though, I dig
that. I admire a girl who can stand her
ground. Props to you, girl in the
skirt."
As time went by, more and more
people came to respect my odd sense
of fashion. Was it normal? Absolutely
not. Had anyone ever worn a skirt in
a factory? Not that I know of. But did
it matter? Not a bit. If anything, I was
able to make our workplace a more
diverse and more accepting environment, one that was open-minded to
new scenarios and different customs.
It wasn't easy, and it was almost never
comfortable, but I found out the hard
way that when you respect yourself,
everyone else follows suit. Something
I had been so nervous about on my
first day of work has become my
trademark. I'm the girl in the skirt, I'm
the Jew, and I'm proud
info@communitylinks.info

Over this past Shabbos,3 frum men were
assaulted on a attempted robbery.
Obviously, they were not carrying any money,
because it was Shabbos.
Please be very careful when walking alone.
WLAPD and Wilshire Division
have put Pico/Robertson and
east of La Cienega on extra patrol.
Women should be careful if they choose
to wear expensive jewelry.
Always walk aware of your surroundings.
Baila Romm - Neighborhood Watch
Crime and Community Concerns
310 663 8560

Double Take
YOUR Pictures!
Please email us your
event pictures to
Info@communitylinks.info
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6. A bottle of water is missing from the stage. 7. There is an extra row of stage lights. 8. Snow flake is
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39 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

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Cell:(323)934-7095
email:

What do I do
when
my
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Take the best
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41 D e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 1

WORKSHOPS/CLASSES

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Advertising Deadline:
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Please call

323.965.1544
or email us at
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Facebook

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Orthodox woman available
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