I once attended a socialite function with a girlfriend, some type of formal ball that involved lots of announcements and polite applause, and way too light all around on the booze. I felt awkward and out of place, not so much for my internal self-esteem issues, but because no less than four people came up to me during the function and told me I looked awkward and out of place. I really hope they were referring to my sky blue croc footwear and not the fact that I was flop sweating through my rented tuxedo. In either event, that was enough high society to last me a life time.

On the other hand, there's no denying, there were many hotties. Among the group of girls who starve themselves to get back at daddy for loving his golf game more than his kids, there are some sweet young lasses who look upon an outsider and member of the plebe class as a chance to really stick it to dad. So, in short, it's pretty easy pickings if you've ever taken a psych class.

All of which leads me to far more uppity Tinsley Mortimer, New York socialite and celebutante who is sort of a Paris Hilton, but with a brain, so smart enough to stay out of most troubles. Tinsley and her girlfriend and New York Housewife Kelly Bensimon, a 43-year old MILFtastic specimen in her own right, have been down the past few days in South Beach, tanning, or filming, or just looking for rich men, or all of the above, and doing so in various forms of body-sharing bikini looks. It's a nice little late Winter ogle-thing.

So if you dig the mature rich ladies hanging by the pool, hang your eyeballs on these two, and, enjoy.