History Quotes / ScrewYouElves

'''Fae Nobleman: '''Ah, but we like it here. I think we’ll stay. I am-\\'''Nauk: '''I don’t really care\\'''Kilian: '''Nauk, let the man finish. We’ll need more than one name for the report.\\'''Fae Noblewoman: '''There will be no report. This place belongs to [[LandOfFaerie Arcadia]] now, and we do not bother with such bores in the Land Resplendent.\\'''Fae Nobleman: '''You must have many questions, Legate Nauk. We will help you in this.\\'''Nauk: '''Only the one, really.\\'''Fae Noblewoman: '''Ask us, dearest one.\\'''Nauk: '''[[ColdIron Iron]]. Does it spoil the taste?\\'''Fae Nobleman: '''Pardon?\\'''Nauk: '''[[ImAHumanitarian For when you end up in the cookpot]].

->'''[[TheFairFolk Fae Noblewoman]]: '''So strong. So willful. This will be a day to remember.\\'''[[OurOrcsAreDifferent Nauk]]: '''You got a name?\\'''Fae Noblewoman: '''I am the Lady of Snags and Bones. The-\\'''Nauk: '''You’re trespassing. This land belongs to the Lady of Marchford. You’re walking her street and breathing her air, without permission. Fuck off.\\'''Fae Nobleman: '''Ah, but we like it here. I think we’ll stay. I am-\\'''Nauk: '''I don’t really care\\'''Kilian: '''Nauk, let the man finish. We’ll need more than one name for the report.\\'''Fae Noblewoman: '''There will be no report. This place belongs to [[LandOfFaerie Arcadia]] now, and we do not bother with such bores in the Land Resplendent.\\'''Fae Nobleman: '''You must have many questions, Legate Nauk. We will help you in this.\\'''Nauk: '''Only the one, really.\\'''Fae Noblewoman: '''Ask us, dearest one.\\'''Nauk: '''[[ColdIron Iron]]. Does it spoil the taste?\\'''Fae Nobleman: '''Pardon?\\'''Nauk: '''[[ImAHumanitarian For when you end up in the cookpot]].-->''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil,'' [[https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/2017/03/01/interlude-gate/ Interlude: Gate]]

-->''ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH WILL SMELL LIKE SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR FACE! I WILL FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD SHOULD BE JUST SO I CAN KICK 'EM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET, YOU TWAT!''-->--'''Urist the Dwarf'' insulting '''Ravandil the Elf''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azOvRwrqz2M Warhammer: Ravandil's Quest]]''

to:

-->''ALRIGHT, ->''ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH WILL SMELL LIKE SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR FACE! I WILL FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD SHOULD BE JUST SO I CAN KICK 'EM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET, YOU TWAT!''-->--'''Urist the Dwarf'' Dwarf''' insulting '''Ravandil the Elf''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azOvRwrqz2M Warhammer: Ravandil's Quest]]''

->Alright, listen to me you knife-eared piece of shit! If you go any further with your piss stained pubic hair you call a wig, I'm gonna wreck your shit so hard you won't even be able to walk with your limp dick! I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your shaven perfect little ass that your breath is gonna smell like shoe polish, then I'm gonna take that little red anal bead on your belt, and push it in your face! I'm gonna flagellate you with my fucking beard! I'm gonna build you a pair of of runic mechanical balls, and use surgical precision to sew them to your groin where your manhood ought to be just so that I can kick them with my iron fucking feet, you twat!-->-- [[ElvesVersusDwarves A dwarf]], ''Warhammer: Ravandils Quest''

to:

->Alright, listen to me you knife-eared piece of shit! If you go any further with your piss stained pubic hair you call a wig, I'm gonna wreck your shit so hard you won't even be able to walk with your limp dick! I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your shaven perfect little ass that your breath is gonna smell like shoe polish, then I'm gonna take that little red anal bead on your belt, and push it in your face! I'm gonna flagellate you with my fucking beard! I'm gonna build you a pair of of runic mechanical balls, and use surgical precision to sew them to your groin where your manhood ought to be just so that -->''ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH WILL SMELL LIKE SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR FACE! I can kick them with my iron fucking feet, you twat!-->-- [[ElvesVersusDwarves WILL FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A dwarf]], ''Warhammer: Ravandils Quest''PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD SHOULD BE JUST SO I CAN KICK 'EM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET, YOU TWAT!''-->--'''Urist the Dwarf'' insulting '''Ravandil the Elf''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azOvRwrqz2M Warhammer: Ravandil's Quest]]''

->"You're pathetic, with your little stolen sacks of seeds on pack horses, with your handful of grain, that tiny crumb thanks to which you plan to survive. And with that mission of yours which is supposed to turn your thoughts from imminent annihilation. Because you know this is the end. Nothing will sprout or yield crops on the plateau; nothing will save you now. But you live long, and you will live very long in arrogant isolation, fewer and fewer of you, growing weaker and weaker, more and more bitter. And you'll know what'll happen then, Filavandrel. You know that desperate young men with the eyes of hundred-year-old men and withered, barren and sick girls like Toruviel will lead those who can still hold a sword and bow in their hands, down into the valleys. You'll come down into the blossoming valleys to meet death, wanting to die honorably, in battle, and not in sickbeds of misery, where anemia, tuberculosis and scurvy will send you. Then, long-living Aen Siedhe, you'll remember me. You'll remember that I pitied you. And you'll understand that I was right."-->--'''Geralt of Rivia''', ''[[Franchise/TheWitcher The Last Wish]]'', "The Edge of the World"

->"Then perhaps ye would be kind enough to tell them something for me." Elminster rounded the bed to place himself between Lord Imesfor and the priestess. "Tell them the council would do well to recall how many friends the elves truly have among men - lest they chase them all off with their boneheadedness!"\\Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I couldn't possibly-"\\"Ye could and ye shall." Elminster shooed her toward the door. "And be quick about it, before I [[TakenForGranite make a caryatid of ye]]!"\\Laeral held the door. "I suggest you hurry. You know how rash and impatient we humans can be."

to:

->"Then ->'''Elminster:''' Then perhaps ye would be kind enough to tell them something for me." Elminster rounded the bed to place himself between Lord Imesfor and the priestess. "Tell me. Tell them the council would do well to recall how many friends the elves truly have among men - lest they chase them all off with their boneheadedness!"\\Angharradh’s eyes widened. "I '''Angharradh:''' I couldn't possibly-"\\"Ye possibly-\\'''Elminster:''' Ye could and ye shall." Elminster shooed her toward the door. "And shall. And be quick about it, before I [[TakenForGranite make a caryatid of ye]]!"\\Laeral held the door. "I ye]]!\\'''Laeral:''' I suggest you hurry. You know how rash and impatient we humans can be."

->'''Lily:''' I am such an idiot. It's so simple: The Borg hurt you, [[PayEvilUntoEvil and now you're gonna hurt them back]].->'''Picard:''' In my time, people don't succumb to revenge, we have a more evolved sensibility...->'''Lily:''' '''[[PrecisionFStrike BULLSHIT]]!''' I saw the look on your face on the holodeck. You were ''almost enjoying it''.->'''Picard:''' How dare you...->'''Lily:''' Oh, come on, Captain, you're not the first man to get a thrill out of killing somebody. I see it all the time.->'''Picard:''' GET OUT!->'''Lily:''' Or what!? You'll kill me, like you killed [[RedShirt Ensign Lynch]]?->'''Picard:''' [[IDidWhatIHadToDo There was no way to save him]].->'''Lily:''' You didn't even try! ''Where'' was your [[IronicEcho "evolved sensibility"]] then?!-->-- ''Film/StarTrekFirstContact''

->Alright, listen to me you knife-eared piece of shit! If you go any further with your piss stained pubic hair you call a wig, I'm gonna wreck your shit so hard you won't even be able to walk with your limp dick! I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your shaven perfect little ass that your breath is gonna smell like shoe polish, then I'm gonna take that little red anal bead on your belt, and push it in your face! I'm gonna flagellate you with my fucking beard! I'm gonna build you a pair of of runic mechanical balls, and use surgical precision to sew them to your groin where your manhood ought to be just so that I can kick them with my iron fucking feet, you twat!-->-- [[ElvesVersusDwarves A dwarf]], ''Warhammer: Ravandils Quest''

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