The 5 most annoying things to say to first-time parents

January 23, 2015

4 minute read

Since making the news public at Thanksgiving that we’re having a baby, we’ve encountered advice from everyone we know and even some we don’t.

Apparently everyone turns into a world-class advice giver when they find out you’re pregnant. Most people have the best intentions in the world and want to celebrate with you and help you out. Others, for whatever reason, can’t wait to jump on the train to Cynicsville.

I posted a picture on Instagram a few weeks ago that had a picture of our nursery. The previous owners had an incredibly ugly shade of pink on the walls and my picture was captioned saying, “Even though we’re having a daughter, we’re not having this Pepto Bismol flavored paint.”

The “advice” in the comments got so bad that I ended up deleting the post.

But it gave me an idea: what’s the most annoying advice for first time parents? After throwing the question on social media, here are the five most annoying things you can say to first time parents:

1) Do ______ now because you won’t get a chance to later.

The blank on this one changes. Some people say sleep. Others put fun things in the blank. Whatever the filling is, apparently people think your life completely stops once you have a kid. No fun on an adult level will ever be had after the baby enters the world.

I know things change and kids take up a ton of time, but are you really doing things the right way if you never take time to invest in yourself and your marriage? Is it impossible to do the things you enjoy doing and bring your kids along? I know I’ve never done this before, but I’m pretty sure my life won’t stop existing once the baby gets here. It’ll change, but it won’t end.

2) Oh I knew it was a girl!

We heard this one over and over. You had a feeling it was a girl? You just knew it was a girl? Well congratulations. You had a 50/50 chance of being right. I’d take those odds.

3) She’s going to get everything she wants.

This one didn’t pop up until we found out we were having a girl. Apparently dads across America have never told their daughters no because they all informed me that their daughters get everything they want. Then again, that could explain a lot about why teenage and 20-something girls are the way they are in a lot of cases.

I’m going to love my daughter, and she’ll get a lot of things she wants, but she’s definitely not getting everything she wants. My parents did a great job of teaching me that sometimes we have to be told no. That’s a lesson I value today and one I want my daughter to know as well.

4) Oh you just wait…

This phrase is generally followed by some statement saying how difficult life is with a kid. So you mean to tell me that a tiny human being who is 100% dependent on me and her mom will be difficult at times? Huh. Who knew?

Of course it’s hard. Of course life changes. You don’t begin a family (on purpose) without knowing those things. Ask any good parent and they’ll tell you that every “oh you just wait…” thing that happened to them was worth it. It may not have been easy, but looking back, they wouldn’t trade it for anything. Those are the things I’m looking forward to.

5) Welcome to the club… or anything else that implies you’re miserable and that your child ruins your life.

I know parenting is hard. I’ve seen a lot of really great parents have to work really hard and still make mistakes. I also know tons of great people who can’t have kids who would kill to be in your position right now. There are definitely sacrifices to being a parent, and I’m sure I’ll understand that statement even more in a few months, but raising a kid is one of the biggest privileges in this life. I’m looking forward to all the hard things that come with it, even if I don’t enjoy them in the moment.

Those are the top five things based off of our experience and those on social media. What did I miss? What was the most annoying thing people said to you when you were having a kid for the first time?

6 comments

You about covered it, Jonathan! Too funny–I remember hearing all of this, and I must admit that I have said #1 myself. You (or your wife) will feel as if you’ll never sleep a full night again. But it does pass. All too quickly in fact.

Forget the naysayers and surround yourselves with wise people who actually enjoy their kids.

I won’t give you advice, but I will say this: Congratulations! Kids are insanely fun. You are in for the sweetest, hardest, most amazing journey. Many blessings to you and your wife.

You about covered it, Jonathan! Too funny–I remember hearing all of this, and I must admit that I have said #1 myself. You (or your wife) will feel as if you’ll never sleep a full night again. But it does pass. All too quickly in fact.

Forget the naysayers and surround yourselves with wise people who actually enjoy their kids.

I won’t give you advice, but I will say this: Congratulations! Kids are insanely fun. You are in for the sweetest, hardest, most amazing journey. Many blessings to you and your wife.