In preparation for reentering the life of an OB (Office Bitch), I have undertaken a series of grown-up activities.

My new office requires new employees to register for a New Staff Orientation before beginning work. Did that.

My new office also asked me to come in to fill out some paperwork before I begin working. Did that.

On my way to the office, I parked at a subway station lot. Neither booth nor booth personnel were in sight. What I did find was a sign that read, “PAY HERE IN ADVANCE. CUSTOMERS MUST PAY 7 DAYS A WEEK INCLUDING HOLIDAYS.” Underneath it was a large metal box with slots for you to insert money. I had never seen anything so archaic outside of a museum before. So I put my debit card back into my wallet and headed over to the subway. I assumed the sign and box were outdated and were kept there as a landmark out of Bostonian nostalgia and attachment.

I assumed wrong.

I wasn’t bothered though since I saw that I had a few days to send in my payment.

Day 3 came around – as in today – I remembered that I don’t have any stamps or checks.

I emailed the parking company:

“May I make the payment in person?”

Reply email:

“If you mail within the 3 days you are all set.”

The company’s answer to my question was so helpful that I drove to their office to thank them in person. And since I was already there, I paid my parking ticket.

After I earned all these check marks, I started to think about how erudite and perspicacious I was proving to be.

But then I remembered past conversations I've had regarding my intelligence...