Take the pain and make it sing

Letters from an outsider

I don’t hate you. I hate what you have done to each other. I hate what you did to him. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Why would you do that to him. It breaks my heart to see him like this. He has always been the smart, funny and full of jokes guy and you broke him. Broke his heart into tiny little pieces. But he loved you so much that every time you did break his heart he would pick up the pieces and hand his heart right back over to you, somewhat fixed. I can’t help but despise you for breaking him even more each time he did, you were toxic for him but he didn’t care as he was in love.

You told me you were in love with him as well and I agreed and saw you did for a while so I approved. But maybe what you thought was love was merely just an infatuation. You went through the so called “honey-moon” stage before you even started and your relationship just slowly died but I don’t know, this is all between you and him.

You didn’t love him. You didn’t love him at all. It can’t have been love because darling, you don’t hurt the people you love. Maybe you just didn’t want to lose the only person who actually cared for you or you didn’t want to be alone. Or perhaps it was because he made you feel for the first time and you got scared. He made you feel special but you threw it away.

To Him,

I hope you know that letting her go will take time and that it will hurt at first but you can do it I promise. I have faith in you. It might take days, weeks or months but you will get over it all to the point one day you’ll wake up and she’ll just be a memory from the past. And it won’t be painful anymore. If you ever need a little help along the way I’ll be right here and I will not judge you for a second, you can take my word for that.

Let me tell you one more thing, you will fall in love again. However this time you get to choose if you get hurt or not as you will be older and wiser. You will be able to tell when to step away before it’s too late. Now that you have experienced heartbreak (like you yourself said) you will find that for the time being all you can do is better yourself; to become a better version of you than you were yesterday. It’s okay to be sad for the time being, you’re allowed that. Honestly I wish i could just take the pain for you because I’m used to knowing you as the “funny, chilled guy”. But I can’t. As much as I would do that, life just doesn’t work like that.

But please don’t hide. Don’t run away and hide from all the possibilities of the future. Don’t walk around with your heart caged afraid to love again because one mistake from the past shouldn’t account to your future. You must learn from it but also forgive her because then only will you be able to forget her. If you hold a grudge against her or continue reminiscing the memories she will forever be on your mind, forgive and forget my love.

with love

sprinklesofkindness x

P.S This started as an angry rant and ended up with me being in tears because I have always known this guy as the strong, funny guy and to see him break hurt me.