Thou shalt not consume "cheese" from a green cardboard can, nor shalt thou allow such cans into thy homesLimit Thy Portions, lest thou blow up to the size of my land-and-sea creature, the elephant-sealThou shalt not consume Boy-Arrrrrrrrrr-Dee, for it is abomination unto MeRemember to cook thy pasta at a rolling boil just until tender, lest Thou offend me with waterlogged offerings

I'm including them here, because they are more in the spirit of "Not Commandments, Suggestions"... and they have yet to be adjudicated.

Can ya add something about big elaborate-waste-of-money weddings, where the amount of money spent can rivel the national debt?

-----(\ /)------
-----(o.o)-----
----(> <)-----
This is Bunny.
Bunny, as cute and cuddley as he may appear, is bent on world domination.
To achieve this he has decided to start by taking over teh intarweb, a step towards his ultimate goal.
To help him complete his quest and therefore ensure bunny domination, copy and paste him into your sig

at solipsy's behest, and cos i cant seem to post stuff in the right place, here it is moved from the place it wasnt supposed to be...

being rather partial to a hedonistic lifestyle (it was the Flimsy Moral Standards that got me....) i kinda like the idea of:
"If it feels good thou shalt do it several times over, you probably muffed it the first time"

I offer an alternate version to that one that incorporates a bit of wisdom that I've read in several places.

Be ye forever improvin' thy Pasta; for ye knowest well those that make claims of Noodle Perfection are those closetted with moldy old noodles.

The underlying idea I'm going for is the one that goes, "those that claim to know The Truth are for more dangerous than those that seek it.", but I'm not sure I've captured it yet. Feel free to modify or igonre.

Thou shalt ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness. Thou shalt ever remember, however, that the Divine Noodliness, can only be approached. Thou shalt beware those who claim to have achieved It, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead the astray.

Thou shalt ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness. Thou shalt ever remember, however, that the Divine Noodliness, can only be approached. Thou shalt beware those who claim to have achieved It, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead the astray.

It's good, but the length of it seems to break the standard format of a commandment. OTOH, I for one, am a fan of the long, complicated, and convoluted sentence. I think they should get used more often. For every complex problem, there's an answer that's simple, obvious, and worng, of course.

So, if it's strategically placed within the list, then this non-conforming Suggestion could be just right.

The Wise Council of Olive Garden has approved the following Suggestions to Date:

I. I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.

III. Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.

IV. Hey, try not to buy too much useless crap, OK?

V. Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto thou or not, for it maketh thou the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One.

XII. Thou ought beware those who claim to have achieved Noodly Perfection, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead thee astray.

The Council of Olive Garden has thus decreed that These Twelve NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS are Thus Far Accepted and Shall Be Considered Among the Canon though there is plenty of room for more, and thus it shall be so. Topic Decided.

The Wise Council of Olive Garden wishes to remind the Pastafarian Fellowship that is no set number of NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, and that further revelations among the True Believers are expected.

Thou shalt playeth along when His Noodleyness sendeth thou ill pranks, for though they may seemest unto though rotten luck, to Him they are great amusement, and knowing this, thou shalt see that it is all good.

Suvordaeus wrote:Thou shalt playeth along when His Noodleyness sendeth thou ill pranks, for though they may seemest unto though rotten luck, to Him they are great amusement, and knowing this, thou shalt see that it is all good.

I like this better as a ProvHerb, I think. I think it fits better there. Anyone else have any thoughts on the issue?