I'm not the type who is interested in posting baby bump pictures or focusing on my swelling and weight gain. For the record, I have a lot of both. Due to some pelvis issues, pregnancy is painful and uncomfortable for me and that pain often detracts from the joy that I know I should be feeling. In an effort to focus more on the miracle that is this whole new person growing and somehow my body knows what to do, I want to write these weekly reflection posts.

It just hit me that my baby, little e, isn't a baby anymore. Her legs are little girl legs. Her sentences are little girl sentences. It blows me away just how quickly it all goes. We've been thinking that this second baby might just be our last, so I'm trying to be more conscious of every little thing. I'm trying not to take those toddler hugs for granted. I'm trying to not care so much about what I want to do and play more.

Hormones galore. I swear I have cried more this time around than I ever have in my entire life.

I had a discussion with my doctor about postpartum depression and anxiety. Looking back, I'm well aware that this was something I struggled with for about a year after little e was born. Turns out it can often start during pregnancy, so this time around I'm getting a head start by talking biweekly with a counselor. Something about knowing this person is impartial and is paid to just help me is incredibly freeing to me. It's helping me to be open and I'm realizing some things about my behavior and thoughts.

Little e has been such a big help to me this week. She has actually let me take a much needed nap twice this week. She always wants to know how she can help and is almost always ready to give me hugs. I feel lucky to have a two-year-old who actually cares and wants to be helpful. Hopefully she'll remain that way.

I'm really hoping that my two kids will actually like each other, but am kind of afraid that they won't. We've been contemplating the possibility that two children might be it for us, so it's really important to me that they are close.