Come On Now, Cellulose and Iron Are Good for You

The public and drug regulators have misunderstood J&J's helpful attempts to include supplemental dietary ingredients in its products, forcing the company to recall Rolaids in the U.S. and Canada.

I need my Rolaids. What's wrong with iron filings? The human body needs iron. And there's a helluva lot of fiber in wood, too. Isn't fiber good for you? As to the crystallized sugar, don't it help the medicine go down?

The company already said, the products still work as intended. Isn't that enough for you people? Geez.

But let's end on a more pleasant note and some poetry (apologies to New Yorkers and especially those from Brooklyn, the old Brooklyn, that is), to Italians everywhere, and to anyone who finds the mere mention of Christmas politically incorrect):

Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin,' Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, "YO! Keep it down!" When what to my Wanderin' eyes should appear, But da Don of all elf's, And eight friggin' reindeer! Wit' slicked back black hair, And a silk red suit, don Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot! Wit' a slap to dare snouts, And a yank on dare manes, He cursed and he shouted, And he called dem by name. "Yo Tony, Yo Frankie, Yo Vinny, Yo Vito, Ay Joey, Ay Paulie, Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!" As I drew out my gun And hid by da bed, He flew troo da winda And slapped me 'side da head. "What da hell you doin' Pullin' a gun on da Don? Now all you're gettin' is coal You friggin' moron!" Den pointin' a fat finga Right unda my nose, He twisted his pinkie ring, And up da chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, Obscenities screamin', Away dey all flew, Before he troo dem a beatin.? Den I heard him yell out, What I did least expect, "Merry Friggin' Christmas to all, And yous better show some respect!"

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