Cats are too stupid to understand positive reinforcement. Whack the offending cat with a rolled-up newspaper and chase it through the house. The only motivation cats understand is fear. When I moved in with my daughter, she had three unruly cats. I took over their training and they behave themselves now!

R.W.

Dear R.W.:

You don't understand felines at all. Chasing and whacking cats only makes them afraid of you. Yes, some cat training involves using negative associations — like putting double-sided sticky tape (available at pet stores) on your furniture so when they go to scratch they are repelled by the tape's texture and stickiness. But there's no reason whatsoever to ever intimidate cats.

Smart cat owners provide their felines with a scratching post. They rub catnip on the post so their cats are attracted to it. If the cats scratch the furniture, they know to shake a can filled with coins to startle them or put double-sided tape on the furniture to deter them so they will stop using the furniture. No chasing or whacking required. Cats are intelligent creatures, and those who take the time to understand them know how to humanely train them.

I imagine most of my readers are shredding the newspaper with their teeth right now. Any hopes of you finding your own apartment soon?

Dear Cathy,

I am an avid runner, but I find myself running into lost dogs all the time. The other day I found a dachshund with tags. I caught the dog, but it twisted its body until I had to let it go. I never could see the tags. The dog took off running. I felt so bad. Is there anything else I could have done?

Not really. You didn't have a car to follow, and dogs, even dachshunds, can outrun people every time. You did exactly what you could do. Some dogs just don't want to be caught. Many runners face this same dilemma, so you do the best you can in each encounter.

Thankfully, many runners are like you and feel compelled to help a lost dog get home again. You keep many lost dogs out of our shelters.

Send your pet stories and questions to Cathy M. Rosenthal, c/o Features Department, San Antonio Express-News, P.O. Box 2171, San Antonio, TX 78297-2171 or cathy@petpundit.com. Cathy's advice column runs every Tuesday. You can read her blog, Animals Matter, at www.sapaws.com. Cathy is the author of several children's books.