WTF Wednesday:Christmas Edition

If you’re not sick of hearing Mariah Carey Christmas songs yet – then you’re not ready for Christmas (or you’ve been smart and shopped online thus avoiding the constant loop of All I Want for Chistmas is You running through your head).

What Christmas would be complete without the insta-whorde and their oh so original festive pics? We’ve seen Sharkey’s 837 Christmas photos with NO BABY, so let’s take a look at the other hoes that are in the Christmas spirit already.

Here’s Sarah Scheller aka Smashed Crab wearing nothing but Photoshop as she Gimps by the tree:

If you thought Ashley Alexiss and her Whale in the Sea pic was bad, check out her Sausage by the Tree photo.

Then there’s Kina looking xanny’ed out of her mind, sitting on the lap of what looks to be the creepiest pedo looking Santa ever, complete with Pornstache. You know this guy only took the job in Marquee because hoes love a pic on a stranger’s lap. Wait, is that the Diaper Sniper Fakio??

Dave “All I want for Christmas is to be young again” Grutman is going to a bunch of shit shows, including Bieber. How cute.

Amanda L’hommedon’t is going to spend her Christmas being pooped on by Mohammad. Yes, Karma is a beautiful place.

Bieber will suck 12 men for a bent penny and a half-eaten beaver tail.

OldWineBox

I wish this bitch would phone home. Btw, in my mind, her home is hell. Cheers!

Dead Man’s Dog

Bahahahahaha

JimU113

Naw, Hell’s just a sleepover for her.

OldWineBox

Tis a damn shame what happened to Ashley’s fishnet monstrosity. I heard it got swallowed up by her Marianna’s Trench. Know what I’m saying?! Thank you, thank you everyone, tip your wait staff, they’re working so hard for you tonight! 🙂

Dead Man’s Dog

‘What to do when all your dreams come true?’

Bish, since you were just wishin Mickey D’s would bring back the McRib, grab $10 in change outta your fat rolz and waddle your dimpled ass up to the drive thru window!

OldWineBox

You know that bish eats more than just the ribs. That fishnet hoe looks like she enjoys the whole hog treatment to me. 🙂

AmericanTopTeam

Skid marks really ruin a nice pair of sexy panties.. *HURL*

OldWineBox

Sharty marks at that. Smelling like SPAM and PBR I’d ASSume.

Maia

What would you do if someone actually bought you some cheap Pink Lipstick lingerie? I’d cry.

OldWineBox

It would be a suitable end to a relationship that should end anyway. Nothing says, “WRONG PERSON” like having that arrive as a gift. 🙂

OldWineBox

“All I want for Christmas is a non government sanctioned apartment complex!” Bitch living hella hovel style!

Dead Man’s Dog

Holy shitz I gotta cruise her IG pics to see if her fingers are E.T.’d

Right! Those decorations are struggling hard, as is her gimped, smushed head. Still reminds me of a Skipper doll with head pushed all the way down on the neck. We could also call her “Gimper”, Barbie’s special needs little sister.

You’re a hooker
Fuckin bitch
You really are a skank
You’re as fugly as a dookie
and your box is pretty rank
Just keepin it real…
You’re a good advertisement for an acid dermatological peel

You’re a dbag
Fuckin bitch
You’re a scary Gaping hole
You have scabies on your asshole
And delusion of the soul
Fuckin bitch
I wouldn’t touch you with Dan Bilzerians pole

You’re a foul one, fuckin bitch
You and your giant snatch
You think we buy your fronting
While old ballsacks slap your gash
Stupid liar
Given a choice between seeing you #nofilter I would preferably
Burn up your ass with fire