Monday, May 22, 2006

Friday, May 19, 2006

Where possible, I'm going to try and pack extra gags and in-jokes into these Minions panels. For instance, perhaps you noticed the "bad-girl" locker pin-ups in Minions #7 (can you identify them all?) or the interesting off-duty clothing that Minion 2 is holding.

Or perhaps you noticed the tag on the guard-dog in Minons #6, or the fact that there appears to be a sticky-note there. Maybe you even wondered what it said. Well, it really isn't visible, no matter how close you look, so I'm presenting here.This same note will show up in at least one other panel down the road (I've already shot it), but in the future, the note and its contents will change.

Maybe you'll be able to read them. Maybe you won't. But I'll know they're there, and maybe share them in a future DVD extra.

"Greetings dudes. As a professional Minion, it has been my pleasure to have my ass kicked many times by Sydney Bristow of ALIAS. Who can forget episode sixteen when she, like, drop kicked me down that elevator shaft? Or that time in season three when she totally stabbed me in the forehead with a salad fork? I was all like: 'ow!' I can tell you, she has cleaned my clock many times!

Actually, none of this may have happened. Since coming to America and teaching myself English through watching a VHS copy of Clueless over and over again, I have been hit on the head so many times, I can not be sure of anything.

"Whatever. It is still with pleasure that I totally suggest you support MINIONS by purchasing a copy of the excellent new ALIAS novel STRATEGIC RESERVE, written by Christina F. York, wife of MINIONS creator Steven York.

"I, myself, have not read it yet, but I anticipate that many Minion butts will be righteously kicked. And without such opportunities, my posse comrades and I would be out of work. So buy a copy today."

Minion No. 1 also says:"My pretzel is totally dry. Did you Bogart the mustard?"

Since the beginning of time, and maybe before, depending on whose creation story you believe, the forces of evil have always had minions: faceless, interchangeable servants to do their evil bidding, or at least to give the forces of good some convenient targets to pick off on their way to a confrontation with the Evil Overlord.

Have you ever wondered who these guys are as they are flung by the hero from a catwalk into the nuclear reactor, or paralyzed by a blow-gun dart while patrolling some cheap-looking corridor? Do they have hopes, fears, dreams, homes? Do they have a decent 401K, and do they get an employee discount at the evil-lair's souvenir shop?

Okay, maybe you haven't, but I have.

These are the Minions. expendable. Interchangeable. Not too bright. Evil isn't really their nature. Evil is just their day job.

These are their stories.

Enjoy yourself, and come back here for a new "Minions" panel every Monday. And if you like the Minions, please pass the link around. If you can't be an Evil Overlord, at least you can participate in a dark conspiracy. Together, we will corrupt the world!Muh-HA-ha!

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