In 2011, the Sister Wives Blog started out as a place to talk about the TLC reality show "Sister Wives", Kody Brown and his wives Christine, Robyn, Meri and Janelle. Today we not only discuss the show, we discuss Polygamy in our society, and the public perceptions of the Mormon Religion. We discuss "Polygamy USA" and will be covering "My 5 Wives."
This blog is geared towards the adult reader, so please, no one under the age of 18 years. Thank you!

Mitt Romney and His Polygamous Persecution History Shapes Who He Is Today

There was a very insightful column today in the New York Times by David Brooks describing the history of the Romney family. I thought it was well done in that it gives a historical perspective of how his faith, and the exodus of Mormons and specifically his family, helped shaped the man he is today. I recommend the article here.

We see that within our families. The generational impacts of persecution can shape people for years to come. Vicki and Valerie’s mother for example was in the 1953 raid in Short Creek, Arizona. The fear and trauma she suffered, we see today among some of her kids and even passed to grandchildren. There becomes a real fear and mistrust, but also a sincere drive to succeed and prove others wrong.

Hopefully the candidacy of Mitt Romney will be a time for better understanding of the injustices of the past with religious persecutions. Also to show examples of how that faith endured and even thrived not just in spite of those hardships, but possibly because of them. Perhaps too, Mormons can embrace their past without shame and realize they have nothing to hang their heads about. Although there have been some shameful moments in the history of our faith, to be Mormon, or to be Polygamous (past or present), is not inherently shameful.

Today I had an interview by a BBC radio host. He acknowledged, “Who am I to judge” my faith, and then couldn’t help but acknowledge his questions were full of judgement. For him he could not reconcile how I could sexually share myself and allow other women into a relationship, and why that had anything to do with religion. I could only answer that it is my choice and I ask only to be respected in that choice as a capable, adult woman. He is free to differ in belief with me and hold his own values true. Just as it is hard to me to understand what I consider the loose social mores in much of modern society.

In summary, the dialog is good and continues to be healthy. There are usually two types of hate against minority groups in my experience. Those borne from ignorance, and those that are full of bitterness through some experience of their own. They have had a negative interaction with a member of a minority group and blame the entire class; spreading their anger and hurt emotions in a vain attempt to get rid of them. It is my hope to continue to help educate those who simply don’t know and for the people who have felt pain through their associations, continue to show love and patience for healing.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere!” Martin Luther King, Jr. I think some of the best quotes have come out of challenging times. When I read the ‘injustice’ quote a few days ago it struck a chord with me. We often get asked about the felonious nature of our relationship and are we worried about what action ‘the state’ might take, etc. As a result, we speak about how we would like to see the law changed. However, Dr. Kings words brought new life to our message. It’s not just about what’s good for me, or for my family, but for all freedom loving Americans. If an injustice can happen to me, unchecked, minimalized, excused, disregarded, and because of ignorance or intolerance on the part of the general public, then it can happen to any one of my friends or neighbors or fellow Americans.

Now, I have said in the past, and I will say again, I don’t want to take away anyone’s personal story. However, I don’t want anyone to take away mine. That happens when people make such claims as, ‘All polygamy equals abuse,’ or ‘Children of polygamists don’t have choice’ or ‘All the men are in it for the sex.’ In our case these claims simply are not true. And if just one family proves these statements to be false then we should have protection from the very laws that criminalize us.

There is a certain irony in the logic that I should be criminal…that someone wants to take away my choice, when the crux of that logic is that they want it criminalized because ‘these women do not have choice!‘ Therein lies the injustice. I should have choice.

I choose this way of life because it is my deeply held faith, because it is the people I have chosen to love and include in my family, and because I have found fulfillment in this family that I want to be free to enjoy.
My new quote, “Felonious polygamy is erroneous!” It’s kinda catchy, but I don’t expect it to be at the top of anyone’s list of ‘favorite quotes’.

Dr. King was right, I don’t expect everyone to agree with my choice of family, nor do I agree with the choices of many of my fellow Americans, but I do believe that we all should stand up for justice, even among the most unpopular amongst us.

_______________________________________________________

Warning...This is my opinion. If I offend anyone, I apologize, but I just feel very strongly about this.

I have a question: Do these two women have the slightest clue what they are talking about and why?

Funny that Vicki mentions Dr Martin Luther King Jr. She IS aware this man (and others like him) paid the ultimate price for their beliefs, isn't she?. Refresh my memory, when has a 20th (or 21st ) century Independent Fundamentalist Mormon made the ultimate sacrifice because of his beliefs? JAIL TIME DOESN'T COUNT! Oh yeah, poor Kody Brown. Instead of fighting the laws in Utah, he runs like a thief (intended) in the night to LAS VEGAS! And then has the unmitigated gall to claim "law enforcement" was after him when it was apparent law enforcement did not give a damn.

When I read Vicki's words "If an injustice can happen to me, unchecked, minimalized, excused, disregarded, and because of ignorance or intolerance on the part of the general public, then it can happen to any one of my friends or neighbors or fellow Americans", I have to shake my head. Vicki, what you are saying is if an injustice can happen to YOU, a WHITE woman, then something is wrong. It sounds to me you think polygamists are entitled in some way. Hey Vicki, I don't remember seeing you or your fellow polygamists marching alongside Dr King, or Mahatma Gandhi, or even Harvey Milk for justice for all people. I didn't see you or your polygamists cronies cry about the deaths of the three little black girls murdered when their church was blown to smithereens by white extremists in 1963. How about Viola Liuzzo, and Emmett Till? Do you even know who Andrew Goodman, James Chaney, and Michael Schwerner were and the ultimate price they paid because of their beliefs? Answer this, would ANY of the people whose lives were lost so others (including YOU) could be free, be welcomed in your homes? In your Church? As your neighbor? A friend? A son or daughter in law?

And adding the cherry on the top, is Alina saying she has an issue with the "...loose social mores..." of modern society when her husband regularly has sex not only with her, but with her twin and a cousin?

Alina, and the rest of your Sister Wives and your husband and the Browns while I'm at it, need to get OFF that 'I'm entitled to be a polygamist because I choose' horse and understand that fighting against discrimination, against prejudice, against laws that you don't like means you have to take an stand. As many have found out, justice in this world doesn't come free. You not only have to fight, you must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for what you believe. So get off the coattails of Gay Rights and only quote Dr. King if you are willing to shake his hand and welcome him AS AN EQUAL, into your community and religion if he were still alive.

If you can't then just crawl back into that hole from whence you came.

15 comments:

@Cynical Jinx great commentary my thoughts exactly!I read the article written in the New York Times about Mitt Romney and then read the worship letter about him by Alina Darger and I just have to say that most people in the 1800 in the States faced many economic, political and religious hardships and I'm sure it's shaped them all as well. Mr. Romney clearly is an ambitious, hard working man that wants to attain his goals but to say that wealth didn't or isn't his motivation shows me how out of touch Alina is or is just campaigning on Mitt's behalf. I'm sure Alina you and your family aren't motivated by money either and are only concerned about your religion and lifestyle being accepted...right.

As a feminist, I find it completely intriguing that they never address the very obvious lack of disrespect that a man marrying another woman is. We fought for equal rights years ago, and polygamy in some ways is a step backward.

That being said, I am also "for" polygamy because of the hypocrisy of what it is in contrast to a man who is so very uncommitted to his wife that he would cheat on her and yet not be condemned by our laws. (Yeah Newt Gingrich, I'm talking to you!) Odd that one would be condemned and the other not even legally slapped on the wrist.

Great Commentary CJ. I find it ironic how these women jump on the bandwagons of social movements with which their religion is at odds. Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement worked for equality, no matter the color of your skin. Mormon Fundamentalism teaches that those of African descent are less "worthy" and denies them ecclesiastical authority i.e. the "priesthood" which means they are also denied what these people believe are the "sacred ordinances" of the temple, including eternal marriage. In addition they are always spouting about "consenting adults" and attempt to use the gay marriage question to bolster their own position (two entirely different and unrelated issues in my opinion. Mormon Fundamentalism teaches that gays are in grave sin, and heading for damnation. No, I don't hate people like Joe Darger and his women, but I intensely dislike their hypocrisy, and detest polygamy, which the intense examination in British Columbia has been shown to be "inherently harmful. In other words, there is no "good polygamy."

Yes, it is interesting how *un*-interesting her attempt is at justifying polygamy by merely quoting the words and thoughts of others whose plights she clearly knows little if nothing about except for perhaps what Google provided.

It's one thing to walk your talk, it's quite another to shadow others' journeys only when and if you want to use their efforts to further your own.

They want the right to be *exclusive*..including to *exclude* others....yet demand inclusion and acceptance. How does that work, Alina??You and your Darger family and the Browns chose to go public....you want the notoriety. As the saying goes, be sure of what you are wishing for...

Serving a man as one of many wives is not "equal"! MLK and the civil rights movement is about every person having dignity and being on an equal plane. Polygamy is about a man being a god, and getting his needs and lusts met. Women are not equal with the man, he is in charge and it is HIS passions and desires that the family cater to. The sister wives are expected to 'grow' and learn to live without their needs and desires getting met. They must learn not to be jealous or needy. Her desires are devalued as being selfish, when the man may be as selfish and self satifying as he wishes!

The wives cannot have more than one husband, so that is NOT equality.

The Bible teaches us that in the eyes of God we are all equal before him. In his eyes there is no race, but the human race. Neither are we male or female, but all God's children equally being created in his image and sharing in his gifts or punishments. (Genesis 1:27; Galatians 3:28; I Peter 3:7; )The Bible teaches that a man's body belongs to his WIFE...singular (1 Corinthians 7:4). A WIFE has dominion over her husband's body, just was he equally has dominion over her body. Newlywed Men are called to spend a year making their wife happy! (Deuteronomy 24:5) A woman married to a man with other wives and children misses out on this. This is very unequal. MLK and his Christian followers were merely trying to stand up for Biblical truth on equality.

Male domination was the curse of the garden, but the price for sin was paid upon the cross and the curse was lifted! This country has decided to enact laws that follow the higher calling of equal rights for humanbeings. No man is a god under the laws of this country, and that is the way it should stay!

These folks are advocating that people have the right to subjugate themselves. The truth is, that in the United States a person may not enslave themselves to anyone else. This mormon polygamy, which is discriminatory and very inequal; is also rightly, illegal. Wives and women in the United States have fought a great battle and continue to fight to have equal rights under the law. Women have earned the right to vote their conscience, to work and to own property--not be property; and to equally share custody of children. Wives in the United States are protected by law, so that they may have every opportunity a man does. Polygamy is a form of inequality and as such it must never be legal. We can never allow any form of misogyny to get a toe hold in our country ever again. Women are not lesser than men in any way! Even if some women want to be thought of as lesser than a man and subjected to a man, it must not be legalised! People must never have the right to enslave themselves for any reason. Freedom and liberty are the foundations that this nation is built on; we must fortify them, not weaken them for a group of foolish women.

Anyone else tired of hearing polygamists whine about being persecuted? FYI to the Browns & Dargers....stop yapping endlessly in public about your illegal polygamist lifestyle and maybe you won't feel so persecuted. I'm sure all the money from the book and tv deals helps sooth their pain however. No sympathy here-

Speaking of Romney, the Daily Mail had an interesting article about his polygamist family's cousins living in Mexico. Mitt's great grandfather Miles Romney had 5 wives (!) and fled to Mexico when the Mormon church banned polygamy. Mitt's father George was born in their polygamist compound in Mexico, and was brought to the US as a child.

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