Tag Archives: republican family values

Let us sum up teabagger barbie Joe Walsh’s congressional accomplishments to date, because it’s an easy one: nothing. Joe Walsh is mostly the “if serial deadbeat Christine O’Donnell were actually elected” alternate universe equivalent of someone who miraculously got a job in Congress for blathering shrill, hypocritical nonsense on Fox News all the time as though that was his sole job description. (Sarah Palin has a lock on that spot, sorry.) In his case, we say “hypocritical” because the only thing Joe super hates more than “fiscal irresponsibility” is paying child support for his own kids. The intelligent human that Joe Walsh is not would try to settle immediately and make this embarrassing scandal go away, but Joe has decided to go the “maximum dickhead” route by filing a motion to sanction his ex-wife for her trouble and force her to pay his legal bills. Read more on Joe Walsh Heroically Sues Ex-Wife Over Child Support Case…

Indiana state Rep. Phillip Hinkle has never read the news, or the Internet, or the writing on the wall that overwhelmingly suggests, “If you are a Republican lawmaker picking up gay hookers on Craigslist, you will be caught, naked and ashamed.” Hinkle ran into trouble after soliciting a gay Craigslist prostitute who balked during their encounter when Hinkle oh-so-casually mentioned he was a state legislator. When the hooker tried to leave, Hinkle grabbed him somewhere naughty to prevent him from going out before inexplicably offering the 18-year-old man his personal iPad, Blackberry and $100 (hottt gay mugging fantasy?). “Here are my bank records, my wife’s phone number, a few of my attempts at homoerotic poetry, a cellphone video of the Filipino guy who broke my heart last summer and my favorite photo of the Pope. Feel free to forward all of these things to the first newspaper you find on the way home.” Romantic! And so did Hinkle’s family eventually start to call this BlackBerry, looking for him? Read more on Indiana GOP Lawmaker Trolls Craigslist Ads For… (You Can Guess)…

Rick Santorum is dragging his sizable brood to go live in Iowa for the rest of the summer and run his campaign, because “children are free labor.” Why else would God have given Rick seven kids? God is more stingy with money, however, and Rick has less than a quarter million in the bank, not nearly enough to hire the small army of comedians he would need to convince America to vote for an anal sex joke. Oh well, we bet his kids sure are thrilled they are one of those conservative Christian “Dad is the head of the household and gets to make the decisions” families. It even sounds better than going to the water park:
Read more on Rick Santorum Cancels His Family’s Summer So They Can Campaign For Him…

One of Scott Walker’s top orcs in the union-busting thuggery, Republican Randy Hopper, was thrown out by his wife and is now shacked up in Madison with a 25-year-old right-wing lobbyist who (of course) formerly worked with Hopper as a legislative aide (writing law for Hopper’s corporate backers). And now Hopper’s wife has joined the recall campaign against him — not because of his politics, which she probably agrees with, but because he’s a jerkwad in his personal life, too. Read more on Wife of Adulterous WI Senator/Union Breaker Joins Recall Against Him…

John McCain is such a maverick that nobody believes he’s really a Republican, but in the “abandoning your ailing wife for a new young wife” department, McCain is 100% GOP. We will hear lots more about Carol McCain, the swimsuit model Walnuts married when Barack Obama was almost four years old and divorced when Barack Obama was still in high school! But will we see more of her? This is the only known picture of John and Carol.
Read more on Meet The Nice Wife McCain Dumped For Cindy…

This Craigslist ad is so dull and bureaucratic that it might just be the real deal. Sadly, he’s smart enough to only solicit other “members” of Congress, so the outing potential is severely limited.
Read more on If Your Gay Boyfriend’s Married To A Woman, It Means You’re Not Gay!…