What They Won't Tell You About Having Them Come Home

Randy and I are very much in love. Things are delightful, we love spending time together and having him home is the best thing in the world.

But having him home was also incredibly hard.

That sounds super ridiculous, right? I mean, we just spent 2 years apart, we should be OVERJOYED to be together again. And we were. But that doesn't mean it's easy.

We spent 2 years making new friends, meeting new people, living in two different countries, figuring out how to communicate with email and letters, growing up, making goals, having happy and sad experiences. And we got really good at doing all that. There were days when I actually LIKED having a missionary. It was never easy, but it got comfortable. Routine.

Then he came home.

We had to figure out how to communicate instantly, with words and tones and body language. Talk about weird.

I had to try and introduce him to new friends that knew a different part of me, and he had to introduce me to mission companions that meant the world to him.

I had to try to explain twerking (RIGHT?!?!?!) and why everyone is obsessed with Frozen.

He had to try to explain companionship inventory and couldn't remember words in English.

So here are a few things that I wish I had known about having a missionary come home:

1. It's ok to feel overwhelmed. They'll feel overwhelmed, you're going to be overwhelmed. Just enjoy what you can when you can. The overwhelmed parts will fade away soon enough.
2. It's ok to fight. I think Randy and I were both so nervous about fighting that it only made tension worse. Couples fight! It's ok!
3. It's ok to not want to be together constantly. Randy and I loved being together, but for some people a little space is crucial! Don't feel bad!
4. It's ok to want to be lame. I felt dumb for wanting to stay in and cook dinner together instead of rushing out to parties and movies and dances. But honestly, it's ok to sit down and chat for hours. I promise!
5. It's ok to be different. I was so worried we weren't adjusting the same way my friends, and their cousins, and their sisters best friends brother in law had adjusted. It's ok to be different from everyone you see blogging and on Facebook!
6. It's ok if it doesn't work out the way you wanted. This is hard for so many people. For Randy and I, we're dating and it's been working out just fine. For other people, it doesn't work or takes longer to get figured out. Sometimes things change and plans change, and all of that is ok.
7. It's ok to communicate. There were some things that were bothering me and I didn't want to bring them up, I didn't want to offend Randy. In the long run, it's better to have a conversation than a fight later.
8. It's ok if it's not ok. There are days when just straight up, having a brand new missionary in your life is hard. And it's hard for you to be in their life too. Just trust me when I say that the bad days pass and better days are ahead! There are still perfect moments in misunderstood days, and it'll all work out how it should.
9. It's ok. In the end. It will be fine. That much is absolutely certain!

So maybe that's a downer, but I want it to be a glimpse at reality. Too many girls post that everything is 100% perfect right when their missionary gets home, which might be the case for them. For me, it was a little bit of an adjustment, one that I'm so happy we made and got through. But still.