"I think of the things that matter. And I think of the things that don't."
—Yo La Tengo

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Enquiring Minds Want to Know

Rod Stewart may tell us that “tonight’s the night,” but there are other proverbs, too. A particularly wise sage told us that “timing is everything.” And well… Friday was just not the right time for my chat with McI.

He’d had a very rough week and kept talking about how nice it was to just hang out outside and enjoy himself with me. One look at him told me that he couldn’t handle yet another thing on his mind at that particular moment. Attempting “the chat” would have been an exercise in bad timing.

He’d made a real effort to make time to be with me (he had to work this past weekend—criminal on such a wonderful holiday weekend). That effort spoke volumes, and I decided that was enough. Instead we had a long, wandering conversation about various and sundry things while reveling in the summer weather.

We also met some of my more interesting Somervillian neighbors (I love how “Somerville” is pronounced “Soumervle” by natives—it sounds like they have a mouth full of rocks), enjoying their backyards too. One philosophically interesting phrase that made McI and I laugh really hard after the guy went inside—“I’m a lawnmoah” (I wanted to photograph the stocky man, his fat head shaved, and caption it, “Ceci n’est pas un lawnmoah”). Then went upstairs to watch a movie (before we got a wee bit distracted). It was a great date.

Part of me still thinks that I just chickened out, but a much larger part of me realizes that I did the right thing. One of the reasons why I can be such a good schmoozer is because I read people well. Friday night, I read a guy who just wanted to relax with someone he likes to be with. So relax we did. I’d really rather broach the subject sometime when we’re both relaxed and happy and when we aren’t distracted by big issues in life.

So that’s what happened. Your good vibes were felt, and perhaps they also helped me to see the wisdom in picking the right moment.

22 comments:

Fair dues to yourself. But may I enter a caveat, even though it's early days?One of the reasons the whole 'where is this going' question comes up is because the matter of making time for someone else has become an issue. Maybe when there are only bite-sized bits of time one never gets to ask the question? Which means it gains in validity all the time.

Thanks, Zirelda. It's one of those, "So, are you my boyfriend?" kind of chats. I'm just trying to figure out if I should be thinking of this as a more serious relationship (which is what I want), or if I should be branching out a bit.

I had a boyfriend at one point (don't be shocked, those who know me) and we were seeing each other for months before I actually asked to be together. Because we didn't talk about it there was a lot of assumption. I assumed he was procrastinating on asking me out, or waiting for me to do it. When I finally asked because he hadn't he simply said "I thought we already were".

I guess the reason I tell you that story is to say maybe on't leave it too long, because your status will become assumed knowledge. Except the assumptions may be different.