Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Standards and Measures: Guest Blogger - Steph

Stephanie Cunha is a producer at WJAR NBC 10 in Providence and was my first internship advisor. I have always admired her honesty, kindness, goodwill and storytelling. Thank you for letting me share such a positive post, because sometimes we all need a reminder of just how much we have to offer!

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I like who I am. Always have. Always will.

I have a lot to offer the world. I'm smart, fun, pretty, motivated, empathetic, open-minded, a great friend, loyal, independent, genuine, level headed (97% of the time) and overall a fantastic human being. Throughout my life I may have lacked some confidence in my looks or picked apart my weight like any other female would...but I have always liked myself and stood confidently as a unique individual.

I always took pride in knowing that I could stand by my own convictions regardless of the popular opinion. I'll stand up for the little guy getting picked on. Take the not-popular stance on a social issue if it aligns with my convictions. I'll call out the racist in the room for his/her non-humorous jokes. Regardless of being considered "lame," I never did drugs nor did I ever really drink heavily in college. I never cared about what people said or thought of me I just focused on being fabulous me...until feelings were involved.

When it came down to relationships I always worried about whether or not I live up to the other person's standards and measures. When my heart's invested there was that complete fear of rejection and getting hurt that somehow put a choke-hold on me just being fabulous me. The nerves kick in, insecurity creeps in, the momentary flashes of coming across as that needy chick who just wants reassurance, and it's all down hill from there. I know: pitifully annoying right? Not the "me" I want to be.

Life Lesson # 2331 marked in ink in my books now:

Apparently 2011 is prepping me for a PhD in "life." It's my life's little stumbles and missed opportunities that I've really started to learn from. So far this first two quarters are chock full of lessons. Today's lesson is a fairly basic one I am ashamed to say I lost sight of. In any relationship you just have to focus on being your own fabulous self, take a total chill pill, and push any of those worries of rejection and fear of heartache aside. Don't let those fears get the best of you and clutter out your ability to showcase your fabulous self to someone. Just take a breather, remind yourself that you're a pretty damn good catch, and go on being your bad ass self. Sure, rejection may come. And, yup, it definitely hurts. But the sun always rises the next day, another person will come your way eventually, and as long as you can learn from your mistakes you can happily trot along life a little wiser and more prepared for the next great thing.

At the end of the day noone's opinion of you matters more than your own.