I know ive said it before, but I promise it gets easier Once the child moves out of home or gets a job and has some independence you deal with BM less and less and more with the child directly. When the child gets a licence or independence to catch the bus or train by themselves they can come and see you whenever they want and not on BM terms!

It comes around quicker than you think My step son moved out of his home away to work in another state only 3 weeks ago and that has been 3 weeks of bliss of not receiving ONE call from BM but lots and lots and lots from step son Its awesome!

A few years ago I would have been posting and feeling exactly like all of you ladies

I understand that it would be hard. You sound like a great step mum. She is very lucky.

thanks heaps I try, sd always leaves her holidays with us taking home a half suitcase of presents for her family and brothers and sister at bm's house. this time i also took her to buy her dad and sister here a present too as miss 5 has just started to pick up that sd doesnt ever do that and it upset her a bit.

Oh August is it wrong of me to feel relieved that im not alone! Lol its such a shame that there seems to be so much more emphasis on the deadbeat dads but not alot on deadbeat mums, and we all know they are out there! These woman should of been sterilised at birth, DF ex wife should never had been allowed to breed, she does not give a crap about these kids, only uses them to play the victim card to her friends or to get something out of DF, though that hasnt happened much at all in the last 5 years as DSS 12 who is the youngest came to live with us, so she can't use him as a weapon to get what she wants anymore, also the older 2 DSS 20 and DSD 17 very rarely visit her anymore now that they have caught on to how she is, kids are not stupid. DSD asked BM if she was going to come to her year 12 graduation and BM said no sorry i can't make it! It does not surprise me at all hugs to all the terrific stepmums doing the best job they can in difficult circumstances

Oh August is it wrong of me to feel relieved that im not alone! Lol its such a shame that there seems to be so much more emphasis on the deadbeat dads but not alot on deadbeat mums, and we all know they are out there! These woman should of been sterilised at birth, DF ex wife should never had been allowed to breed, she does not give a crap about these kids, only uses them to play the victim card to her friends or to get something out of DF, though that hasnt happened much at all in the last 5 years as DSS 12 who is the youngest came to live with us, so she can't use him as a weapon to get what she wants anymore, also the older 2 DSS 20 and DSD 17 very rarely visit her anymore now that they have caught on to how she is, kids are not stupid. DSD asked BM if she was going to come to her year 12 graduation and BM said no sorry i can't make it! It does not surprise me at all hugs to all the terrific stepmums doing the best job they can in difficult circumstances

Its because some people will always see women as victims and men as deadbeat perps

Rule- You may be 32 weeks pregnant, in a lot of pain, tired and just in need of a cuddle, but don't get jealous when your stepson gets to fall asleep in your husbands arms and you are pushed to the edge of the couch... he misses his mum, hates visiting your house and therefore needs comforting. It is not a competition between you and your stepsons and you are the adult, so start acting like it.

Rule - You and your husband may be struggling financially and may still need to buy clothes and equipment for your baby due in 8 weeks, but don't even think about getting cross when your step son opens the $100 train set you bought for his birthday, starts crying and says "I don't like it and I don't want to play with it, I just want you to take me to McDonalds now."

Rule - BM may have threatened to kill you and your unborn child and called the police, accusing your husband of assault when he stopped her from attacking you in your own home, but don't even consider being anything but friendly and polite the next time you see her.

Rule - Don't even think of asking your mother-in-law to babysit her own grandsons on the night of your wedding, so that you and your new husband can spend one night alone in a hotel.... If you choose to marry someone with children "you should be prepared to care for them, no matter what the occassion is."

But my favourite has already been mentioned... Don't ever complain, you knew he had kids when you met him!!!!!

(Thankfully, I woke up to myself before I married this priceless gem. But, anyway.)

Ruler number 1762937: Despite the fact that you are the reason DP
A) Get his son to sleep.
B) Get his son fed.
C) Actually spend TIME with his son.
D) Did NOT hand is son over to his grandparents for the one time he's seen the boy in four months.
E) Actually boots his **** and made him pay more child support than he was.
F) Booted his **** to enquire about the welfare of his son, who was in the effing HOSPITAL.
G) Got him to act like a father in general, for that matter.
H) Never ever held any resentment toward SS.

You will always, without fail, be the horrible SM who destroys lives, etc etc. - -; Despite Dp and BM never having been in an actual relationship, and don't you DARE be in the car during drop off, or remember that you left a dummy chain at your house. You will still bbe the most horrible woman on the bloody planet.

My DP and I live together and he has full custody of his 2 kiddies .. They have recently started having supervised over night stays (first one was Xmas night ) and I missed them sooo much, was great when they got
Home (:

I thought 4 kids would be tricky, but
I am loving it and wouldn't change it
For anything

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