Thursday, December 31, 2009

So its the end of another year and time to look back and reflect. Overall 2009 ended up being a good year despite swine flu, a broken toe and bad reaction to a yellow fever jab.

One of the reasons was there was a lot of good travel to some really interesting places, and those posts certainly are high on the list of favourites of 2009. On reflection there weren't many sailing and kayaking ones on the short list. Partly this was because of the travel and injuries didn't do that much, but also because there are other blogs out there that cover these topics a lot better.

What I've enjoyed doing and posting are the travel stories and fiction, though usually with a water sport related angle.

So enough of the analysis and on with the list:

1) In March / April went to Venezuela which was a fantastic experience. The high spot was the trip to the Orinoco Delta where was woken at dawn by howler monkeys before heading off for a fly by of Angel Falls (or Kerepakupai-Meru as we must learn to call it).

2) In April posted a natural navigation picture puzzle relating to how far the trees on either side of an avenue in a London park had come out. It generated a lot of good suggestions and ideas and was eventually solved by the Natural Navigator himself.

3) In May I broke my toe which put a temporary end to sailing and kayaking so instead got on my bike and headed up river for a great ride to Kingston and back.

4) In July in response to one of the many great group writing exercises put together the Ultimate Walk by the Thames, 50 top sights on a trail from Westminster to Tower Bridge which strongly recommend to those visiting London for the first time

5) Also in July did a bareboat holiday in Greece about the time that Tillerman asked for a review, so posted a point by point breakdown of the Sunsail charter complete with a star rating.

6) In August there was another group writing competition which resulted in a post on the JP Blog Experience. However that entry didn't make the top 10, but the account of what happened when the venture went on Dragon's Den does.

7) In September the blog's roving reporter Buff Staysail was lucky enough to go on Tillerman's Laser Experience training program and apparently came back a winner. It wouldn't be fair not to mention ol' BS at least once (or be worth the inevitable complaints)

8) In October the weather started to turn and it was time to head indoors to the Tate Gallery. The seascapes of Turner and the Masters was a thought providing exhibition about art, artists and the development of artistic ideas which was well worth catching.

9) Also in October in response to O Docker joining the blogging world forgot what my notes meant that hinted at a great post. However it spurred the creative juices to come up with the Blog Code of the Woosters.

10) Last but not least was the trip in November to Azerbaijan and Georgia which was spectacular. There were a host of posts and pictures that will treasure for a long time but the clear winner for me was the Tsminda Sameba Church, high in the Caucasus mountains. Simply amazing.

Some were popular with Google (Navionics reviews) and some like Top Yacht I enjoyed but were too long for this list (and received little feedback).

The picture above is from the snow in February which felt suitably wintery.

Thanks to everyone who dropped in and read or commented - its been fun. See you in 2010!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

One of the many rituals of a British Christmas is a trip to the Pantomime - particularly if you have children in your party.

I was thinking that no explanation would be necessary but the Wikipedia article on pantomime or panto seems to imply its mostly a British and ex-pat plus a few ex colonies like Australia that have experienced this unique music theatre event.

Pantomime is most definitely nothing to do with mime but a starts with a traditional tale like Cinderella, Aladdin or Dick Wittington. The story is usually simplified and then told with a mixture of song and dance, with added dollops of slap-stick and a heavy dose of double-entendres.

A key part is audience participation with calls of "behind you" or "oh no it isn't" nearly guaranteed together with a sing-along where left and right sides of the audience compete.

One of the other conventions is that of the Pantomime Dame which is a bloke. We saw Peter Pan and the fairy was not Tinkerbell but Tinkerbelly, a rather fat man in a bizarre pink outfit.

At the top is a video of the cast including Peter Pan, Wendy and Tinkerbelly. While the show did involve pirates and mermaids it must be admitted that this wasn't the Marlow Theatre's greatest hour, but the kids enjoyed it. It didn't help that as the theatre is being re-developed the show was moved to a temporary circus like tent in a nearby site.

Often this is a chance for TV soap stars to earn a little extra and this can include Australian favourites like Neighbours, but all we had was Adrian Edmondson from The Young Ones as Captain Hook.

Oh well, maybe it will be better next time.

As we filed out a new crowd was turning up for the next show - roll up roll up and keep them coming, for the show must go on.

On Christmas day we went to the beach. It was nothing like the Australian summer sun experience, rather a huddling from a biting Arctic wind deep within coats and woolly hats behind a sand dune, hands stretching towards the warmth of the disposal bbq.

But all the same it was strangely satisfying and we were not the only ones battling the elements. As we went down to the sea to dip our walking boots in the sea three horses were ridden by, galloping along the shallow waters.

Then back to have a couple of too quickly cooked charcoal covered sausages:

And with a brrr! that was enough and we returned in doors to light a proper fire and open those presents.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Hope everyone is now happily full of their favourite things, whether it be mince pies, chocolates, turkey with stuffing or the warmth of human happiness.

So having travelled, eaten, washed up (many times) and successfully shown nephews and nieces the correct way to fly a model helicopter am now back in JP HQ ready to catch up on what the blogsphere has been up to.

And there are already some very nice best of 2009 posts to read, including (in no order apart from tabs of my browser):

First up there's H2uhO's comments in the original post that focus's on iPhone apps (which is something should look into and post in near future). He also posted some sailing reflections from 2009 which sort of count too.

Adam's Moments in Sailing Blogging in 2009 which includes the NY meet up (what a great idea), Bowsprite's great paintings which make even the most humble tug look beautiful, the definitely worth subscribing to Keep Turning Left YouTube videos, and many others.

Bonnie, apart from tempting us with freshly baked bread (oh, I so want smell-o-vision) and a fantastically Christmas / The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe picture, reminded us how great Tillerman's challenges have been and her experiences in dinghy sailing (woh! not kayaking you ask? - well go and read).

Tillerman himself gave us three mince pies which included two of my favourites - the 10 reason why almost gave up sailing and the Laser experience. Actually the latter is Buff's favourite as one of the few who claim to have finished it (but then he does claim a lot of things). I was meaning to comment on the 10 raisins list but was travelling at the time as its something that could also apply to me.

And last but by no means least so far is Carol Anne with 10 high spots of what otherwise sounds like not a good year. Luckily it includes two of my favs, namely the "This is awkward" writing competition, which had fun in responding to, and the sailing light bulb jokes which recommend heading over to straight away for some post Christmas humour.

Any more out there?

Oh yes, mine. Well that's one of several posts over the last few days of 2009 including one about a man in a pink fairy costume.

Update: some stats, the top ten posts, and a favourite from Tugster here.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

There is a debate of course about what to say with the corporate friendly choice being Happy Holidays. But this blog is not a business by any measure, and for me a holiday involves travel somewhere new, probably with boats or discovering the people and geography of a country.

This break involves family and presents, decorated trees and a turkey (*), carols and children, and all the trimmings of a traditional English Christmas of the middle classes in the home counties, which is of course all very pleasant.

The Christmas vs Holidays choice reminds me a bit of the integration vs multi-cultural debate, whether the (mostly) American approach of all celebrating the universal against the (mostly) European alternative of keeping separate cultures in a single country.

My feelings is that I'd be very happy to receive an invitation to enjoy a happy Hunakkah or Eid from those for whom those are special events, so I should celebrate the day that is important for me.

But what picture to show? In the end went for this slightly abstract crescent. It's the sun glinting off a lake large enough to be counted as a sea, but not on Earth.

For this is the Sea of Krakens on Titan, where one day robot explorers might sail the liquid methane seas.

And this is appropriate given the BBC's big pull out all the stops Christmas special this year is the first of a two parter end of an era last David Tennant as Doctor Who. Can't wait!

What ever you are doing over the next few days hope you have a great and very enjoyable time.

I'll be back posting sometime next week with my list of top blog entries of 2009

(*) I hope - for the last 3 years have always had something "different" which is really nice in its way, but it is the season of tradition

Friday, December 18, 2009

It's the time of year of lists - cards to write, presents to buy and what to bring to which event.

It's also the time of year for mulled wine, for uncles to "test" presents for nephews and nieces, and visits to far flung relatives.

All of which means that blogging might become a less frequent, but there is one post was thinking of putting up sometimes over the festive fortnight.

I was thinking of going through the blog posts this year and picking out a couple of my favourites as a flavour of what you can expect here.

But then I thought - it would be great to have something to read after stuffed full of mince pies, and what better than the cream of the crop of other blogs.

So how about this - anyone who's interested lists their top blog entries of 2009. It can be the top favourite, the top 3, 5, 10, or any other number that takes your fancy (though anything over 12 will be considered excessive).

I'm not going to judge or award points or top ten top tens or anything anal like that - there are clearly experts out there at that field.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What's a good name for a yacht manufacturer? I was thinking this as read December's Yachting World and there was an article about a Wally doing the Atlantic Rally for Cruisers (ARC).

That was all very fine and good but the inner school boy in me never stops having a silent snigger as the phrase "what a wally!" echoes through the head. Maybe its just me.

It clearly doesn't have the same ring as (say) Oyster, as in pearls, fine food, or the world is your.

Does it matter? Clearly not as they are a hugely successful company, and as Juliet - or rather Shakespeare - once said "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet".

However the bard hadn't heard of word association marketing strategies (lucky chap). I once saw in Germany a tour company with their name along the side of the bus, namely "F**kers". Clearly there would be a certain difficulty in bringing that brand to the UK market.

But maybe it isn't important to those that matter. Those who can afford to buy and run a Wally probably don't feel they have anything to prove.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

So O Docker wants to know how many painkillers Tillerman had during his vacation in the sunny Caribbean?

Obviously one problem is having absolutely no data to go on. However one of the advantages of a career in Consultancy is that one learns ways around what otherwise would be something of a stumbling block.

The key is to have a methodology which ensures there is documentary evidence that can be presented to the client prior to invoicing to demonstrate that work has been done to an assured quality level (we luckily don't have to say what that level is).

In this study we propose to use the following methodology:

Stage 1: identify the possible activities or behaviours that will lead to Tillerman requiring to take painkillers

Stage 2: identify for each possible activity a probability or alternatively the number of cases that will occur during his vacation

Stage 3: identify for each possible activity the number of painkillers required

Stage 4: numerical compute from the data collected (see, even without actual real data we have created some!) the total number of painkillers.

This methodology can be submitted to the client at the kick-off to get sign-off, and ensure they can say to their stakeholders they are operating an evidence driven decision making process (ha!). For the sake of argument the vacation is considered to start at arrival at the airport and end at return.

So lets start with Stage 1, identification of things that might require painkillers:

a) The terminal (either ends) is crowded and noisy

b) Tillerman drinks and flys (not a good idea, given dehydration effect of altitude)

c) A crying baby is in the seat next to Tillerman (either direction)

d) The road to the hotel is very bumpy and the driver speeds, so his head hits the roof

e) During his stay he bumps his head on the boom of the boat he is sailing

f) During his stay he falls asleep in the sun

g) During his stay he has a celebration involving too many drinks including rum

h) During his stay there is a steel drum band playing as he is trying to sleep

i) He is caught by Mrs T checking out the local ladies on the beach and his excuse involving research for the blog is not accepted

j) Alas there was something in the water/salad/fruit which didn't agree with his stomach

Ok, that's pretty comprehensive list, so on to stages 2 and 3. Here we use the model to develop (good word that, doesn't imply anything made up) the numbers, and fire up Excel, the consultants friend.

Of course there are some issues about concurrency i.e. probability of two events at once, but that is covered by the half a pill factor. There are also other activities that are likely to only happen once (activities f. and i. spring to mind).

Hence using a formalised, quality controlled methodology and a mathematical model we can derive the answer.

Properly this should of course be given in a PowerPoint presentation which sticks to that great recommendation of tell them what you're going to say, say it, then tell them what you've told them.

Last week my laptop failed, again. This time it was the power system, so can now measure its lifespan in the capacity of the currently charged batteries.

It was made by HP, which according to this report has the lowest reliability of any of the main manufacturers. And having had another replace-the-motherboard level of failure earlier this year was a) not happy and b) not prepared to go through that process again.

So CC in hand splashed out on a new one (not from HP) and spent the last few days transferring the data across and re-loading programs.

And under a pile of archived CDs and DVDs found an old copy of Virtual Skipper, namely version 2. So loaded it up and had fun thrashing a couple of simulated ACC boats.

The previous posts came out of wondering if the trans-Atlantic voyage by Laser is feasible - even if not by the Top Yacht trio - and can see no reason why not.

After all Michael Blackburn managed to sail across the Bass Strait in a Laser (above), which is 117 nm of open waters. It took him 13 hours to cross, at an average of 8 knots.

So the Iceland to Greenland crossing of 150 nm is a bit more but still doable. With the same average speed that would take nearly 19 hours - tough, but a single sailor could do that with a lot of coffee to keep them going.

By linking up a whole series of hops like that I can see no reason why a London to New York voyage couldn't be achieved.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Clarkson: Right, this is the big one, the crossing to Greenland, over 150 nautical miles of open water in the little boat that James insists on calling Lisa.

(beat)

Clarkson: To be honest none of us are looking forward to this, its so far we will have to sail at night and its freezing cold waters that can turn storm like at a moments notice.

Hammond (in a dry suit): But we've come so far so here goes, again its up to me to start us off

He gets in the dinghy and heads out to sea.

Clarkson: Right, off to the support boat

May: I have a very bad feeling about this

Ext: offshore, May is sailing the Laser.

Voice over (Clarkson): Initially all went well, made good time and no one fell in. Then it got dark, the wind got up, and yours truly found himself in a bit of a pickle....

Ext: view from webcam attached to base of Laser's mast. It has capsized so horizon is a vertical line. Clarkson is swimming in a survival suit.

Clarkson: [Beeping] [Beep] [Beep]. This is seriously bad news. A gust plus freak wave came out the darkness and there was nothing I could do. Now I can't get back in, can't get the Laser back up and I think the light at the top of the mast has gone out - water damage no doubt. Oh [Beeb]

He tries again to get back on the Laser but is too cold, tired, inflexible, and constrained by his survival suit.

Clarkson: How can they find me in the dark now? Just have to try the old fashioned way

He cups his hand over his mouth and cries out "Help!". As he does so he lets go of the Laser which drifts away.

Clarkson: Oh my God!

Int: Support ship, sleeping quarters, May is sleeping when he is waken by Hammond

May: What now?

Hammond: This is serious, we've lost Lisa and Clarkson, its night, its cold, and survival times are pretty low at the best of times

Ext: support boat, May and Hammond rush on deck and try to scan the water with torches.

Hammond: Sh! I can hear something!

They listen and can just hear a whistle blowing in the dark

May: That must be him! Quick lets take the RIB and search for him

Ext: Clarkson is helped onboard, wrapped in blankets and rushed below

Int: Main cabin of support boat, all three presenters around a table, Clarkson drinking hot tea.

Hammond: You have no idea how lucky you are that we didn't miss you in the dark

Clarkson says nothing, just nods and shivers

May: Poor old Lisa...

Ext: coastline of Greenland, waves pounding on cliffs,

Voice over (May): Eventually we found Lisa, but it was too late, she hadn't survived the journey, being broken in two by the hard, icy cold shoreline. We had failed.....

Int: Top Yacht Studio. Audience applauds, all three presenters shake their heads.

Clarkson: Yet again we were ambitious but crap

Hammond: Forget that, you almost went the same way as Lisa and ended up smashed to pieces, drowned, frozen or simply lost at sea

May: Crossing the Atlantic by Laser might be possible but it certainly is very, very dangerous. Maybe those health and safety people have - for once - a point.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Clarkson: Before the final clip from our Less is More Challenge it's time to put a Sailing Star in our Standard Laser. This week we have a legend of offshore sailing - ladies and gentleman, Mike Golding!

Audience applauds.

Clarkson: Mike?

May and Hammond appear instead

Clarkson: What are you doing here? Where is Mike?

Hammond: There's been a little hiccup

Clarkson: What?

May: Well he was about to start out when a fluke burst of lightening hit a tree which then crashed onto his car

Hammond: He tried to call for a cab but then really unluckily a meteorite hit the local telephone exchange.

May: So he ran 5 miles to the nearest train station where due to a bizarre sequence of events involving goats and the overflow from a sewage works all trains were cancelled.

(beat)

Clarkson: So he's not coming?

Hammon: No, he says sorry - next time!

Clarkson: Well, they don't call him the most unlucky sailor for nothing.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Ext: Sandy beach in Orkneys: Our three presenters are standing with their backs to strong winds and rain. Waves are crashing on the beach behind them and sand is being blown almost horizontal.

Clarkson: Ok, so here we are in the Orkney islands about to take up Hammond's simply stupid challenge to sail a Laser-

May: - called Lisa -

Clarkson: - to sail a Laser with the stupid name of Lisa across the Atlantic and from here its an 88 nautical mile passage to the next stop, the Shetlands.

Hammond: That's not too bad, really, don't laugh, in a decent wind that's a 12 hour or so sail and if we take in turns that 4 hours each, look we can do that!

May: But not in this howling gale.

Hammond: Ok, maybe these aren't the ideal weather conditions

Clarkson: Who's going to join me in a cultural exploration of the Orkneys?

May: If you're thinking what I'm thinking, then yes!

Clarkson: Where to go first? Highland Park or Scapa?

May: Neither, a pub which has both whiskeys!

Clarkson: You're on, lets go somewhere dry with a roaring peat fire.

They head off, fade out.

Fade in to: sunny day, blue skies, gentle breeze and a sandy beach where Lisa the Laser is on her trailer.

Hammond (in a dry suit): Ok, so this is it. The weather forecast guru's have said we have a 24 hour window to do the crossing: if we leave now we'll get the tide and should be at the Shetlands by sunset.

May: And as it was all his idea, Hammond goes first

Clarkson: Me and May will stay safely in the support boat.

They launch the Laser, Hammond climbs on and sails off.

Hammond: I'm off, next stop the Shetlands, see you in 4 hours for the handover!

Clarkson and May watch him sail off.

Clarkson: We could just let him do it himself and head off to the pub again.

Beat

May: But you did get banned from every pub on every island

Beat

Clarkson (sighing): I guess we better go.

They climb in the waiting RIB and head out to the support boat.

EXT: Hammond sailing along in the open see.

Hammond: This is just superb sailing. Moderate winds, gentle swell, making nearly 10 knots, should be there in plenty of time.

Voice over (May): All went fine for Hammond's leg, then of course it was Clarkson so things went wrong.

EXT: Inside support boat by radio set

Clarkson voice from radio: Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

May: Oh sea-cock, what's up now

They go outside and look over side at Clarkson, who seems to be sailing along quite nicely

Hammond (yelling): What's up now?

Clarkson: There's a shark - I saw a shark, I promise you!!

A fin breaks the surface just past Lisa

Clarkson: Look - look!!

Hammond (quietly to May): This is too good to waste, lets tell him its a great white.

May: No, he'll only panic

Hammond (shouting): But its a basking shark you wally, won't hurt a fly!

Clarkson: But its huge!!

Shark swims off.

Clarkson: Ok, that's it, time for May to take over.

Cut to: May comes on deck in dry suit and climbs into the RIB which heads over to Lisa and then Clarkson and May swap places

Clarkson: It's north remember, north, which is that way (he points)

May: No problem, see you at the Shetlands

May sails off. Cut to:

Ext: Beach on the Shetlands at sunset. Lisa is being sailed towards the beach by May. As it comes ashore with a crunch:

May: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do that!

Clarkson (opening a champagne bottle): We did it! We are ambitious and not crap!

Hammond (taking a glass): Hate to break it to you but we have two more hops to go before we get to Iceland, and that's only the beginning...

What will happen next? Can this trio really cope with the longest leg of all, from the Faroes to Iceland, 240 nautical miles non-stop across some of the most treacherous waters on the planet?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Clarkson: Now earlier we described the latest of the Top Yacht Challenges. This one was bigger and no doubt crazier than anything we had done earlier - to sail across the Atlantic by Laser. And can I just add - it was all Hammond's idea.

Hammond: But it wasn't all in one go but in six stages and with three sailors taking it in turns to sail our little Laser, which of course May decided to give a name and called her Lisa.

Clarkson: So Lisa set off from Putney with Aqua Stig, Ben Ainslie and Anna Tunnicliffe taking turns to sail her. First leg was along the East coast of England and Scotland up to the Orkneys.

May: And an interesting time they had of it. They got stuck in Aldeburgh when conditions in the North Sea were a bit dodgy, almost got run over by a container ship outside Newcastle, got told off for not showing enough lights in the Forth, and by the time they got to the destination they were quite glad to hand Lisa over to us to do the offshore leg to Iceland.

Clarkson: 677 nautical miles in 7 days was pretty good going, but we had a lot tougher challenge ahead of us. 834 nautical miles to Iceland, with two long offshore legs from the Orkneys to the Shetland Islands and then from the Faroes to Iceland.

Hammond: The last of these was 240 nautical miles of open water. Arctic conditions where storms can appear without notice and where survival times in the freezing water was measured in minutes.

May: It was therefore with much misgiving that we packed our dry suits and fly off to the Orkneys to take up the challenge.....

It's always a jolt to see something or someone you know in the news, and it was a bit like that when saw that the ex Volvo 60 Pindar has been caught after apparently drifting into Iranian waters.

I've been on her twice, both times day-sails in the Solent, and she is a lovely craft, fast and responsive (see video above). There was one long term crew on both days called Olly, and there seems to be not one but two Ollys in the crew currently being held in Iran, so it seems likely that at least one of them I know and have sailed with.

At this moment in time I'm not that worried for them. It clearly is a civilian craft and was there by accident not malicious intent. Iran wants the recognition and respect it feels it deserves as a regional power, and that is more likely to come from making a point over capturing them in their waters but also releasing them afterwards.

It's a county I'd like to visit and those friends who have in recent years have all come back having had great times. But as tensions could erupt into something more at short notice it can surely wait.

Fingers crossed for a happy resolution, but we might have to be patient and play it cool.

Update: oops, it might be another boat. Just seen a news program that implied it was an Open 60 not Volvo 60, will looking to this further.

About Me

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