Monday, February 3, 2014

Is this the cutest, most wonderful thing ever?

Spencer is a bulldog who was found with two paralyzed back legs. Thanks to the work of a clinic for wounded veterans, Spencer now has prosthetic limbs and fancy green Crocs to wear. And he can really walk!

When I was young, people didn't really care about animals that much.

You might find this hard to believe, but back in the 1970s and 1980s, when your dog got sick, you basically threw it out and got a new one. Dogs often lived tied up outside. As a matter of fact, there were still packs of wild dogs around, roaming the streets.

Cats also lived outside. They lived fast and they died young, but there was always a new crop of cats to replace the old ones.

My old Irish grandmother used to say the thing to do with cats was put them in a bag, tie the top, and throw 'em in the river. We didn't live near a river, but I got her point.

See, but people didn't know at the time that animals are sentient beings, with rich emotional lives. People also didn't know that animals get to go to Heaven when they die, and meet their friendly former owners there at the Rainbow Bridge. I didn't know this last part myself until a year or so ago.

I just thought that dead animals and people slowly evaporate and become worm food. Now I'm learning the happy truth.

In any event, these nice people in Florida found an abused, paralyzed bulldog on their doorstep. They named him Spencer and took him to West Coast Brace and Limb, Tampa Bay's leader in custom orthotic and prosthetic devices, with 5 convenient locations to serve you.

The good technicians or doctors or whatever they are, whipped up a pair of prosthetic hind legs for Spencer, and if the video is any indication, he took right to them as if he had always walked on them. It's a heartwarming story.

While watching the video (see below), two thoughts occurred to me. One was that Spencer is wearing a diaper. Of course he is. His hind quarters are paralyzed. He has no bowel or bladder control.

His new owners probably change those diapers several times a day. They have just pushed the Saint Meter, which detects dangerously self-sacrificial behavior, into the red area.

The Saint Meter is deep into the red area. When it runs that hot, you've got trouble brewing.

When I was young, someone changing a dog's diaper was theoretically possible, I suppose, but bloody fucking unlikely.

The second thought was a vague one about the newscaster. The man stands up there announcing tragedies and feel-good stories with the same robotic delivery, day-in, day-out. Ever wonder what's actually on that guy's mind?