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I’m not all elegant like the Goddess people. And I’m not all that sophisticated. Sophisticate. Sophie. Sophie the Original Mother…or one of them anyways. Quite a few Primordial Mothers out there really. I get it. Each time span…..thought of their life as the first….thus they wrote about it like that. Unless of course things were channeled back then too….which isn’t all that crazy considering they experienced burning bushes and booming voices from the sky. All signs of psychedelics. Reworking the brain. Cycle after cycle…eon after eon….until you’ve cycled through and or…figured it out and won the golden ticket. No, you don’t need the psychedelics….but you’ll surely need to stimulate your internal ones if you don’t want to take any. I was not under the influence of any outside medicines or stimulus when I received a CALL from God. Yikes. How embarrassing in this age of the microscope. It’s really not that big of a deal. He Calls on people all the time. IN fact, this wouldn’t be my first. It would be my 3rd. I gracefully and hilariously heeded those calls…and even this one at first. I did it…..then I removed it as if it never happened and I crawled inside a clam shell. I didn’t understand it. It was a surging. A passion that stirred me to swirly swirls and giddiness. A Mother. A Mother? There’s a Mother God? Truth be told….I’ve been whispering those words under my breath for six months now. And I believe they(Heavenly representatives)…. want me to represent Her?

But why? Since that time….I’ve learned there are many many women Called by The Mother. I tell myself there are so many…surely they don’t need me. Then I remind myself that I am the only me available, and possibly….my me-ness can open eyes where anothers can’t. What am I opening your eyes to? The Mother! The feminine. The idea that there is a difference….and it’s there for a reason!!! I also look at their choice of me…I didn’t get to raise either of my human children…yet I was still required to understand mothering, so God gave me animals. Goats. Oodles and oodles of goats. Along with birds, sheep, cows, horses, cats, and dogs. Nocturnal too…I carried a tiny sugar glider in my pocket for years like a kangaroo mama. I learned every phase of life and every phase of mothering. Even the sacrifice of the lamb. She was dying and I couldn’t let her suffer. Middle of the night. The only tool available to end her suffering was my two tiny hands. Love. Mother Love. I already knew the biggest mother lesson. You sacrifice for them to have better. And that was a sacrifice because the vision is now in my heart… of the silencing of the lamb.

The Mother is resurging. Having a renaissance to pull Herself up from the chained treasure chest at the bottom of the seas. SHE is calling us. Pulsing through our bodies with sacred love. It’s a need. An ache. Mother. Mother. Mother may I? May I allow my childmind to curl up in your arms and sleep? May I rest in you? May I wake in you? May I feel your fire pulsing and pull it into me? May I tend the ache and stir the ashes….build the flame? Rise the passions within me so I can blow a gentle breeze under the wings of others? Remind them all that there is a feminine? That there IS another side. Deny all they want, but it only hurts and never helps. How can you balance the masculine and the feminine within you….if you don’t hold honor or respect or faith in the feminine? If there is honor, respect or faith in the masculine…then there must be honor, respect and faith in the feminine. That’s how you balance. A one sided scale is….broken. YES…it’s broken!!! You see, I understand it now. I understand the point. It took me a full half year to find the point. Research, study, quandary, questioning, seeking, asking, sorting, meditating, praying, demanding, screaming, indifference(for 2 seconds), and complete rehash on the mind seesaw. Tears, anger, fear, embarrassment, goofiness…..I felt all of these. In the end, it’s a simple request being asked of me, and others. What and how we go about this request…is the fun challenge for each to determine. When I first had this CALL, I was thrilled and giddy with excitement. What fun I could have teaching the world the goodness and juiciness of the women they’ve been overlooking and walking on for ages. How they could change the planet into utopia…if only they utilized their precious gems in the right fashion.(gems being the human minds and hearts). If they cherished and expanded the worth and role of the feminine in all areas of creation and life…all would quickly see that the design is flawless….male AND female. It’s the players who can’t see all sides of the facets…that had doomed creation into a lopsided mess.

So here I am. Here we all are. Some are Goddesses. Some are Priestesses. I am neither. I am the Mother. Crone version. I always saw myself in white flowy gowns with flower wreaths in my hair. My vision was off. I am………….a rainbowfied hippyfied crone mama wearing flowy color and sass. This is that big thing I was so scared of as a child! What’s to be scared of? This is me….telling you….there is a Mother God that has been written out of history!!! I’m here to help write her back in. Told you I was here to save the world!!! Haha….change it anyway! There….see? Done! Not so hard after all. So……………just call me Mama! Haha…or Mamafeathers or MamaSheri or MamaWillow or Mama Pluma …..or Sunshine, Rose or Hope! As the world wakes to another Mothers Day…take a moment to think. The Father? With no Mother? Who birthed us? I am woman. It is in my soul to say…masculine without feminine is imperfection…thus it is NOT GOD. Do yourself a favor on this special day…look into it. Search out the ancient mother. Find her in all her glory. All HER many names. Nammu, Isis, Sophia, Ashera, Inanna, Hathor, The Holy Spirit, and probably maybe 50 more names…last but not least being Mary. Mother Mary. Many names…same energy. Same milk. Same tits. Same Love. Mary Mary quite contrary…how does your garden grow? With syrups and thorns and drops and storms. WILD. Wild woman…wild mother…wild child. Rewild…it does a body good. That….or Mothers Milk but you’d have to uncover a tit for that.

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Although I still play the game and I share and post things that look frightening or scary or things that outright piss me off, I’m actually seeing life now from a vantage point that most of you don’t have. I’m still human and I still interact and I still have emotional reactions………HOWEVER………I am no longer………just like you. Not that I ever really was with all my sadnesses and inadequacies and quirks and weirdnesses…! I can hear the world whispering from my shoulder saying……”you’re not special, whatever you’re about to say….remember, you’re not special. We are all alike”. Believe me I know. While I might not be special, I may know things others don’t. I may have experienced things others haven’t. Here’s the deal. Ever since I went to the 5th dimension the first time, I have a new view. An overhead view. Like when I was a CASA………………someone who looked at all the pieces and watched it as a whole, with no vested interest except that of keeping a child safe. And it’s not only that…I also have very diverse interests and a lot of stuff comes in front of my eyes and ears. Bottom line, I see things that maybe others don’t. The whole point to this is to tell you that I see light at the end of the tunnel. I see hope. But it’s bigger than that. What I see, is the whole. As a whole, it is the most beautiful beauty. It is the song of songs, the dance of dances, the light of lights. We are something so unbelievably special, something that is the utmost gift to all……all beings. All beings in all universes. We are a treasure. Unique. Precious. The frequency of all beings, doing what they are doing at any given second, combined with what they are thinkings frequency and the frequencies of all of the objects and the wifi’s and the tv’s and the crying and the dancing and the screaming and the raping and the beheadings and the earthquakes and the droughts and the trees and the bugs and the hot pavement. Everything has a frequency and vibrates at that sound. We don’t hear it….like the dog whistle. But it plays. It plays every second of every minute every day forever and ever. It plays the waltz, salsa, tango, shuffle, ballet, African, of life. We……………..are the song of this uni verse. We are also the dancers.

And now, I need to tell you about 4 hours with a butterfly. I was leaving the market yesterday when I saw the butterfly in the veggie aisle….sitting on the ground. I immediately scooped her up. Carried her in my left hand and went on with living. Porfi, my in town taxi driver, drove us and the veggies home and I put the groceries away, all while holding Beauty. Then we sat down to begin the evening together. I offered her sugarwater, nope. I offered her a leaf outside to step onto, nope. She wanted to be with me. I talked to her, and loved her. I sang to her and free went my esteem……I just sang and sang, hitting notes….not hitting notes, she didn’t care. I made up words about how much I loved her and I also sang old faithfuls, like amazing grace which I sang to my goats all the time and the lullabye words I made up for my own human kids to Over the Rainbow. I played Tinkerbelle on the laptop for her. She reacted when I sang. She moved her antennas around or one of them. She would place one of her tiny white feet on my thumb and latch on. She liked to lay one of her antenna on my thumb as well, almost as a hug. She allowed me to touch her without even the slightest flinch. I cried with her. I told her I loved her. My darling. I sent her reiki. It was love. Then she was gone and the love went into us both and there it remains. Forever. It was the most exquisite love affair and it went into the collective unconscious as a gift. I woke to discover her broken body in pieces. One wing completely gone. The love was still here, in me and in her and it didn’t matter. Signing off in Costa Rica where the PESTICIDES gotta GO, the people love each other and hold hands and walk arm in arm and give kisses on the right cheek………in 3 weeks I will be here a year…..yesterday, I received a KISS on the cheek by the parking lot lady!!!! HOLY CANOLI”s!!!!….and, a valley sound has finally reached me….sounds like a high pitch whistle, and I don’t know if it’s a bug of a bird but yay, it soothes me, that jungle sound

Where’s the reaction? I said I was Jesus!!! I said I was Mary! I said Jesus was a woman and that God was a Mother!!! I guess people just think of me as that dumb old woman. Dumb old depressed woman…..don’t pay her no mind. Story of my life. It’s ok though, I am strong. Life built me like a candle, layer by layer, into the heat. Alone. People are Called to Duty all the time. Called to the Ministry. Called to be a Dr. Well, I was called to help the world. I wasn’t called alone, but I was called. I’m working like all others like me, in the dark with only my light or candlelight. I guess we’re like the janitor. Nobody pays him no mind, yet he’s always busy busy busy. Like I was saying, I’m not sure if there will be a big huge second coming with Jesus floating in on a cloud…..dunno. I kinda doubt it though folks. Not with the playing board all decked out like this. Makes no sense. We, these people, are here for a reason. Besides………..the message you’ve all missed……………they wanted us to miss……..is that Jesus was human. Just a man. Just a woman. Doesn’t matter. Flesh and blood. It was flesh and blood that did those miracles. Every single thing that is called a Miracle……….was done by a hu man. The message was that we can all live in that way……but the message was diverted. Changed into a sin death die for you thing where the people live in fear of a menacing scary god and fear the big bad hell. That pisses me off like you have no idea. I’ve been railing at the friggin Vatican for years and years. Get me in there!!!!!!!! Get me in there to see all the truth they stashed there so you, we, wouldn’t know. But see, they train us from birth, to not know. TO NOT know we can do things. We are shamed if we believe we are special or have special abilities. Ridiculed. How can miracles grow in that manure?????? Haha….like a rose! Or a whoopsyDaisy…some things just can…against all odds. Are you a miracle growin in the manure?

I’m a multipurpose woman. That’s why MY message is threefold. The Mary thing-.which is the feminine thing. The Jesus thing. And, the God woman Mother thing. Yup. 3. My life deals in 3’s. But seriously folks…….these 3 things could change everything. Change the world. Change YOUR world. If only there was a country in chaos, that would consent to try. If only. I saw the oddest thing today that just screamed at me. It was Taiwan. Apparently the women there aren’t going to church. So the government had a new church commissioned that is a giant shoe. That’s what women are about, right? Shoes? And then, they say they’ll mostly use it for weddings. Archaic male debt system that has either you or your parents strained and stressed. For what? One day? Jeeze!!! The solution is a $20 dress and buy an icecream cone. Save your money for life!!! Ok…anyway…so. Why aren’t the women going to church? Hmmm. Could it be they are dissatisfied with the male doctrine??? Could it be they are dissatisfied with the male church??? Could it be they seek real meaning in themselves and their families and lives? A purpose other than the 9-5 old traditional way of being???? People are seeking more. Demanding more. Tired of the shallow, we want deep roots. Not just that…but deep mother roots. If this weren’t true, AMMA wouldn’t be hugging 20,000-50,000 a day. People wouldn’t have that need. But they do. I don’t know that I’m here to be an Amma Hugger. I think I’m more of a talker. A voice. I was told today that my wisdom was like water for a thirst. Most people don’t bother to listen to the elderly, the ones who have all the experience. Nope….shut up in nursing homes. All that wisdom. And me personally? My life was a smorgasboard……….so I would have a gazillion pieces of knowledge and experience. Tiny pieces….but hey, tiny matters. You ever put salt in your tea? Signing off in Quebradas Costa Rica where the locals genuinely express, it hasn’t rained in days and the taxis are duking it out. Oh, and….nevermind.

Only the people who actually physically know me….will understand this in its gargantuan impact………………but as I woke this morning, I realeye’d that I was so impressed with the being living inside me now, that I would pay money to be around her. I giggled and laughed….still waking. I’ve been struggling with my purpose. Told you that. Well, it’s a strange one. It has to do with ushering in a new earth. New dimension. Age of Aquarius. I knew this was coming since the 60’s when the song came out. KNEW it was a trigger….even as a child, I knew. The thing is…..I suppose there might be multiple ways to go about said purpose……I just don’t know yet. This is my ONLY stress in life. I have less money than I need…..yet I have taken people to lunch twice lately. Very trusting of me….and also very new behavior. Then again….I’m brand spankin new. Well, sorta. It’s hard to explain. All who know me know I have wanted to die forever. 38 years of suicidal attempts, then 15 years of rising out of the muck….one year back in the mud after being told I was dying and here we are…………… a being so thrilled with who she is that she is giggly cuz the experience is free!!! Haha…doesn’t cost a penny to hang out with me!! I’m ME! Heheheheeeee. Yes folks………there is THAT MUCH HOPE! Isn’t this huge? So….it’s a very odd purpose and quite hard to figure out how to implement. This morning I woke to the word….typecast. For those who know……there’s no question what it means. Also, this line of the medicine song was going through my head……let the way of the heart shine through. A song and a word….and laughter trilling for about an hour while I lay here and did my sadhana.

Also this morning, there was a vehicle going up and down the street broadcasting in Spanish. I walked in my flipflops to the gate to see. Selling something? A warning? Haha, lost my Spanish software. As I’m walking back to the house, a blue dragonfly greets me. Excellent start to the day! I was gonna go to town but my friend said she’d be here for a frequency appt with my landlady. I stayed home and got some amazing photographs. She stopped by to say she wasn’t stopping by, which to me is a sign I was not supposed to go to town anyway…..then the parrots decided to do what I asked yesterday. Well, almost. I wanted them to startle….and all leave the tree at once. I was asking again today when suddenly they all flew out but not in a startle……in a group and they flew circles in the air. Oh my!!! The sound! The sight!!! Hundreds of green parrots. Nobody cares to watch the video though. Their loss. My videos are as unwatched as a Godzilla egg. (MamaSheri on YouTube)

I have so much to say, yet I censor myself. Oh boy do I. Fear. I was terrified yesterday of hurting my friends feelings by posting that Deathgrip blog….but…..I had to step past the fear. I can’t always do that. I wish I was more courageous but I’m working very hard to become so. The Sheri me is still here…..but she is the observer now. Plus there’s an observer above her. OH!!! Sorry, back to my day! I went out to video the parrots and ended up at a flower bush looking for bugs. I found a scene. It wasn’t until I was back inside that I realized what I witnessed. I videotaped a death struggle between a black waspy looking bug and a spider. In the end, I don’t know who won. I had thought it was spider in the lead but the photos, hmmmm. Anyway, while looking, I realized that I had taken their photos a few moments earlier. I had thought it was a fight about to happen …..then I got distracted…..then I saw a fight. Haha…Yup…..them. I exclaimed immensely at the wonder of it….even though death would be the end result. It’s not like I sic’d them on each other, they were naturally going to go to the death. In fact, death was all over the jungle today. Lots of dead lil bugs laying on leaves. Why do they come out blurry??? They ain’t even movin!!! (No, but the wind is moving the leaf). My friend George decided that my spider bite was instead a nest. Ha!!! NO!!! So, I had it looked at and no. I put oil of oregano on it and wow. I never listen!!! Suffered for 2 months needlessly. Itch has stopped. 2nd time now I’ve used that stuff. Gonna recommend it. 1st time was for cold symptoms. GONE. Ok…well, think that’s it for now. Signing off in Quebradas Costa Rica where they come to vaccinate you then give you knockout drugs and rob you(so I hear), loudspeakers shout from passing cars and the butterflies can fall in love. LoveLove

I was hoping for this yet I also feared it. I don’t want to leave. Already! After only a day and a half, I feel wanted, needed, appreciated, seen, heard, loved and worthy. The words… I See You …were even said to me last night. Much has changed in me already. My fear of driving or being driven on mountain round and round roads with huge drop offs, has been lifted at least for this now. These are some of the scariest roads I’ve ever been on…yet I wasn’t scared! Excited and leery but not scared. I knew my companion God wouldn’t drop me.

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Then today I had an insight so big I’m giggly. I realized which moment in time caused me to want to leave the planet. It was when I healed a child but was ridiculed by those who weren’t there and didn’t see. I was shamed to the point of squishing it down and praying it away. I have always remembered this event….but now I see that to the little child…it was a rejection of her and her purpose of coming to earth. So, she wanted to leave. The end. Wow!!!! And I didn’t even have to go subconscious to do it!!

And since it’s not always about me, lol, lemme try to describe my new little intentional community. So far, I don’t know where the “trash trash” is. Just the compost bucket. Most of the buildings are at least partially if not mostly…made of some kind of cement of sorts. Not just the buildings though. Plant structures, roof structures, kitchen sink structures. The beauty and simplicity of this way of life is peaceful.

Everything is beautiful. Even the paths and steps created were done so with beauty in mind as well as functionality. It will take some getting used to with the foods though. Last nights meal I ate as much as I could tolerate then this morning I liked the fried plantain. Lunch was beans and rice which I love along with….yucca flower!!! Barb, if you still read my blog I surely thought of you!!! So far only water to drink….my choice, I could have tea. Trying to ascertain how to go about my getting more of my inhaler. It can only be refilled every 2 weeks and that’s how long it lasts. If I just order it out of time….it costs $200!!! You see my concern???

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All of the clothes and blankets, ….needed!!!! Not so dumb after all! How to dress for Costa Rica…LAYERS!!! Cold nights, cold mornings, hot afternoons so you peel em off, then put em back on!!! No paper towels here, only stuff that can be washed and reused. Skills are put to use and appreciated. Hummingbirds are everywhere!!! All sizes, colors and even sounds!!! No monkeys at this location though cuz this area was heavily forested once and is just now coming back thanks to caring people. Some spider and some capuchin have been seen coming back to these woods. No big cats here either but if we go to the one place for aya, we could see them possibly.

We may go there but we also may do more traditional aya from a Peruvian shaman who sings icaros….healing songs. Figuring out why I wanted to die the majority of my life is pretty huge but I don’t feel that much stronger for the knowing. It’ll take awhile to integrate and I’d still like to meet with Grandmother Aya. I can relate to grandmother way more than mother so I shall call her Grandmother Aya now. They say she will give me what I NEED….if I need hard, I get hard and if I need gentle I’ll get gentle. Getting excited.

There’s a mango sitting on the nightstand next to me spilling off its sweet perfume and the twinkle sounds of hummers are at my window! The calls of unseen birds are heard. There is a gentle breeze and the blanket separating my room from Summers is blowing gently while she sleeps and I talk to you. Most of the guests or interns are at the river which is a 10-15 minute hike DOWN. Tomorrow is Saturday, Free Day…where there are no food bells and no expectations at all, as well as silent day for those who choose. The Internet hotspot is just up the hill and there’s one plug in the kitchen. Where, the ONLY 2 lightbulbs are!!! Candles. I need more candles!!! Nothing can be shipped here from the internet. It must be packaged and sent by friends. When I leave…IF I leave…I’ll leave my blanket and good towel behind as a gift along with whatever arts I leave my heart with.

Ok. Enough for now. I’ll go take photos. I’ve never felt so needed and wanted in my whole life. They really do see me here and gratefully I say thank you to God and Summer and those few who helped me get here….for that.

Today is Sunday. Still no internet for my type phone. I made myself useful today. Seeds. I sorted seeds. Gathering like kinds and putting them in jars. Need more jars. As far as healing goes, well….not sure yet. Am allergic to bees yet I don’t freak when they land on me. Bit once by mosquito maybe and chewed up plantain leaves to remove the itch!!! Our cabinas weren’t ready when we arrived so we’re in the main house building for now. The cabinas are built on the side of the mountain as is everything!!! Think I’m looking forward to it…not sure. Haha, they look awesome as well as sketchy!!! I asked will they slide down the mountain during rainy season? Also, what about the steps? Would we be stuck in our individual cabinas the entire rainy season??? That’s of course, IF one chose to stay. :=}. Why would one leave? It’s an intentional

community with only 2 permanent residents!!!! My husband, son and only 15 goats are the ONLY things back home. Dunno.

A returning dude, will open a hotspot for me to post this. Wanting to get word to hubby to upgrade me to international!!! Jesse, tell him please!!! Not gonna apologize for the length of the blog. I can only do it when I can do it. Miss talking to y’all, and miss Jesse, Blue, my goaties and hubby’s quiet presence. But Dios mios!!!! Costa Rica es muy perfecto!!! Y yo estoy en cour!!!! Lol (I am in love) For now……And…..signing off at Awakening Soul, Costa Rica!!! YeeHaw!!! PS….haha!!! Scratch most of the above!!!! Stay tuned for the continuing saga of…..As the New Earth Forms!!!!