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DD 11 has terrible periods and is missing a lot of school

So DD is 11, she started her periods at 10. She's very anxious about puberty, had visible breasts since she was 7 and hates it. She's very tall and slim and hates the fact she sticks out like a sore thumb.

When she has her 4-6 day period she has dreadful PMT for about a week, cramps, really tearful, bad moods, angry, bad skin. Then during her period she's boiling, feels very nauseous, has diarrhoea, and again is very tearful.

She's had to move schools for year six as she was bullied and the school was useless and so going to school feeling really unwell is not something she can do as she has no friendships to really rely upon and so it's a huge ask.

I've contacted the GP (who I cannot even speak to until next Wednesday) as her attendance is pretty rubbish and I fear the only solution will be to offer her the pill, which I will refuse.

Has anyone had this when they started and it evened out? My periods also started at ten but they were very light and pain free.

Why would you refuse the pill? I was like your DD and prescribed the pill for that reason, albeit I was older. It helped massively and if I could have taken it at 11/12 I would have. I didn't know It was an option. It was a dose that would not be enough to act as a contraceptive, iirc.

Same here - heavy periods run in the family. I went on the pill as soon as I could (think I was 14 so had 3 years of hell beforehand) and my eldest daughter has done the same. Only thing that worked for us.

DD was prescribed the pill a year ago when she was 14, and was taking metfemic (??) acid for around 2 years prior to that. Both helped immensely with intense painful periods which also triggered severe migraines. Maybe start down the metfemic acid route first? Sorry if I've spelt that wrong, it's been ages since she's had to take it!

Think of the pill as a hormone treatment rather than a contraceptive. I took it from age 16 to help with my periods, although I had to "lie" to the doctor, or I would have had to pay for it once I left college. It wasn't lying as such, the doctor just made it into a hypothetical question. I didn't need it as a contraceptive until I was nearly 20.Even now, I think of my IUS more as controlling periods than as a contraceptive (which I also do need it for nowadays).

Many years ago when I was a teenager I was prescribed an anti-arthritic drug for period pain. It helped a lot. No idea if they still prescribe it.

It sucks but this is life. You need to help your daughter manage the pain. She can’t go through life missing 25% of her school/work, etc. You’re doing the right thing going to the doctor. Make sure she stresses how bad the pain is as some doctors can dismiss the pain a bit. However if the GPs suggestion is the pill you need to have a very good reason why you’d reject it, and I’d suggest it’s your daughters choice not yours.

Painful periods don’t necessarily just get better as you get older. Mine were terrible until I had a baby.

Why will you refuse the pill OP? Surely this is about what is best for your DD and if the pill will relieve the terrible symptoms and allow her to lead a normal life wouldn't that be great? There are other solutions too - including injections, etc, but please put your DD first and not your own beliefs, prejudices, whatever. It sounds like she's having an utterly miserable time and you're refusing to even consider something that could completely change her life for the better.

While I would never take the pill myself, I have normal periods and, by all appearances a normal endocrine system. If her periods are disruptive to this extent I would imagine that she has a hormonal imbalance of some kind anyway so surely the pill is unlikely to do any harm? I knew a few girls at school who did the same. Mostly for incredibly heavy periods that caused them to regularly pass out etc. A few of the suffered side effects but I perhaps they were not on the right pill for them? Most saw a vast improvement without noticeable side effects.

Did you take her to an endocrinologist when she started growing breasts or something? If not you may want to consider seeing a specialist to figure out what the issue is if possible.

I'm so glad my mum took me to the doctors and let me have the pill when I was 13 - the 6 months prior to that had been hell and regularly saw me in the school nurses office near passing out.

It wasn't needed as a contraceptive until I was 19 and it made my periods lighter and far more regular making it all more manageable.

My mum was reluctant about me having the pill so young and even said "Don't think this means sex is allowed mind!". But one does not lead to the other and it really could make all the difference to your DD. If the GP suggests it, please at least consider.

I went on the pill at 12 for the same reason and it transformed my life, honestly I had been so ill with my periods that it was seriously affecting my quality of life.I wasnt sexually active until I was 16 so it certainly didn’t encourage me in that direction, I just saw it as a hormone medication rather than a license to have sex.

I agree, OP. I'd be extremely wary of putting her on something as strong as the pill before she has properly gone through puberty.

I know so many women who claim the pill gave them depression, research the impact of Microgynon and form your own opinion, the others read similar in many cases.

She's eleven ffs, surely they can offer something alternatively.

I was also on the pill for five years. It regulated my periods but did not make me bleed less, made my skin worse, made my moods erratic and made me miserable - it is not a miracle and everyone reacts differently.