SCSW IV: Gen. Lee Shelton

For the final installment of F1@1F’s Supreme Court Side Walk series, meet General Lee Shelton. Hailing from Noname, Alaska (a town he said situated itself 875 miles northwest of Anchorage, but may not exist if Google Maps has anything to say about it), Shelton showed up at 1:30am on June 28 to spend half an hour telling us stories with factual moorings as dubious as his whereabouts.

Shelton had come to the Court via a flight from Alaska to Washington State, then a bus to Ft. Worth and onward to DC, where he had been wandering for hours by bus, train, and foot. His performance began humbly enough when he asked for directions to Union Station, where he hoped to catch a train to Virginia Beach. But then he put his bags down and started to talk.

Here’s some footage of the Shelton telling us about the grizzly bear that licked his face (pardon the dark exposure):

When Shelton finished his monologue–which included the heartwarming tale of Moose, the white moose that Noname adopted as its mascot–the eight of us gave him the heartiest applause we could muster.

Glowing from this reception, Shelton said that he may not have much money, but “I got a pocket full of smiles and I love giving them out.” He then picked up his bags and headed north up First Street towards Union Station.