Well I’ve landed in the U.K and have been having a splendid time watching soccer in the pubs of York. The boulders at Brimham rocks have shown me the brilliant quality that this country has to offer.
However there is one problem that might hinder my plans between Font and Berlin.
My climbing partner back in Melbourne cant seem to be able to send me an email with the address of a climber from France.

He has already sent me a few emails, but they are all blank. Nothing but a titled email with no actual message. Zilch.

This could be either a technical problem, or (more likely) a malicious prank.
So, it is my duty to prank the prankster by asking you, the climbing community, to hassle, badge and torment this particular climber online until the address is given.

His name is T Wardley, no wait, too obvious. Lets say Tristan W. I believe his chockstoner name is ‘hows it hanging’ He climbs at Arapiles and the lactic factory. He drives a white panel van with a mountain design sticker on the back. I also have it on a very reliable source that he doesn’t like puppies or children. Please, all I need is an email address. Why hold out on this poor climber who only wants to cash in on free accommodation, cheese and wine (French).

well, I could swap the plans for Amsterdam with Spain. any bouldering at Costa Blanca?

well TW, looks like ill have to throw in a wildcard.
remember those carabiners of mine you have?
guess which one bounced down tiptoe ridge.
a) blue omega
b) wiregate BD
c) the heavily dinted faders
d) the rusty lucky Dgate

send the address now, and i might just resist posting on quank.
think of the brisie trip coming up mate. from can be a scary place
(que deliverance theme song)

thats childish tampering, and you know it.
thanks for the email amigo,
and the answer to the carabiner is...
all of them,
have fun at frog. be sure to do clockwork orange, as its the only climb there
that i know.

g dAY kinky
hope that e mail worked out fine!
off to frog butress tomorrow, finally a climbing trip without the terrible trio of pranksters hindering my success! hopefully there are plently of young french boys that are keen for a bag of lollies if they follow you into the alley way, oh crap i didn't just expose your hidden motive for undertaking this trip... did i oh well.... we are all friends here!
at 'Z' pranksters house (zachs) about to uncover some hidden secrets bound between paper and tobacco..
always thinking of you your mate
TW
ps.. 'Z' prankster requests a meangfull e mail, filled with love (that guy is so gay, we need to get him into climbing)
have a good one CHEERS!

well Mr howzithangin, or should i say "secret agent 'Dr Tangle'" (exposed)
you can tell Zach, code name; 'senior sketchalot', that his
prankster days are over. he shall recieve an email, but rather than
full of love, it will be full of ninja monkeys.

speaking of ninja monkeys, im about to go riding through the dales,
hope to make it to lake mountain district, just so long as i dont run
out of ninja monkey tea.

so, Brizzie aye, might i warn you,
kangaroo point is full of purple booty pirates.
ye be warned.. ye,

kinky it is 3 30 am nat is passed out so i decided to klick on in the internet bar@!
kanga point is f---ing kool, simomn is showing us a good time and i am gonna try and lead a 21 sport on trad!!! i rekon in 20m there is about 4 trad placements so sweeet.. we leave for frog tomorrow and we have beeen in bris for 3 days!!! let me telll you go sport! althoug it is exactlty thte same as trad except way more run ourt!
hope france is awsoume say hello to lena and remi... having a gr8 time
our mayte

sounds sweet Paulie, im there (well not yet, after a few things)
and as for you Tristan, or should i say: DR TANGLE!!!,
but cerialy, heres the plan,
considering that we are both heading to (or at) different and new (for us) crags,
we should probably do some pranking.
something involving taking photos of us in the vertical world wearing the most
ridiculous clothes we can scrounge.
if anyone has an idea for a theme, please feel free to post,
if anyone has criticism of this concept, please write a letter and shoot it
out of a cannon into outer space.