Have you ever woken up and the first thing on your mind is the delicious fantasy of the demise of the person who has hurt you? In fact scrap the first morning thought, every waking second when your mind has nothing else to think about it but that person? The one you wish still lived in an era where they could be hung, drawn and quartered?

Yes we have all been there.

People hurting us in whatever way draws the soul into a gut wrenching tirade of self loathing for being taken in by that person, absolute heart break, awareness of self vulnerability, uncontrollable grieving, anger and a teeth clinching hatred that that person can still walk around breathing, laughing and moving on.

THOUGHT PATTERNS

When we can in a quiet moment we almost relish in the fact that we can think out the most avenging things for the villain in our story. We should really curl up on the sofa with a bar of chocolate, glass of wine and a roaring fire to plot our revenge as we put so much effort into it, so why not add some nice accessories during the raging thoughts of destruction and ultimate hate?

When we are in the rawness of human hurt, we don’t even begin to look outside ourselves to see what is really happening. We are far too busy thinking out the next witty sarcastic remark to add to their Facebook page! As we cry our hearts out, eating Ben and Jerry’s listening to ‘All by myself’ (yes I stole that from Bridget Jones!) are we really doing ourselves a justice?

In a way yes, we all have to grieve what has been done to us. If the grief is too overwhelming then perhaps we need outside help. Either through psychotherapy or counselling.

But let us just for one minute think about the words that surround this hateful time . Words that we have surrounded ourselves in, that our soul is absorbing and what we are stating to the Universe.

If I was playing a word game and had to guess the link between all of these words here I would say ‘hell’.

Yes a living hell. So why bathe in hell? Why put ourselves through more physical and mental pain by hanging onto it all?

“BECAUSE THEY DID THIS TO ME!”

Yes fair point, but why do we then keep ourselves in their energy for the foreseeable future? It’s a done deed. Why do we dwell in the darkened chasms of their ill will or bad behaviour for as long as we do?

Ask yourself, why?

You have two choices. Live in their wake for as long as you choose to or look at this situation, honour it, feel it, then move on and let the Laws of the Universe do the rest.

“Yeah right Karma, as if that works!”

Karma isn’t revenge. Karma is the natural consequence of your thoughts and actions.

If they live in a dishonest, selfish and hateful existence how can they surely escape their own actions?

The simple answer is they can’t.

So if you stay in their energy hating them and loathing them you are placing yourself in their boat, in their filthy pond attracting the other scum in other boats in the same pond.

What if you got off of the boat, waded to shore and dipped into the neighbouring cool fresh ocean filled with freedom, encountering new boats that are enjoying the crystalline waters of tranquillity and happiness?

Its stubborn pride that keeps us in that limited dark dank pond.

Get off that boat!

It is a fact that our thought patterns lead to an emotion that then leads to behaviour. If we don’t catch it and kill it (Yes stole that from Bear Grylls!) then we remain in a never ending circle of negative feelings and emotions. We have been through enough, so why put ourselves through any more pain. YOU are the captain of your ship, so it’s up to you to decide if you want to stay in the shark infested pond or sail into the horizon in your newly found sparkling ocean.

GET THE ITINERARY FOR YOUR MAIDEN VOYAGE

There is nothing I loathe more than people who give you advice or you read about people who give you facts and haven’t been through it themselves. That’s why I always write on subjects that I have experienced and what I have done on a mindful and spiritual path to lose the pain.

I recently got exceptionally hurt by someone and felt mortified that I had been exposed to it (I write about it in my next column Diary of a Psychic!). I nearly went down the same route I always do. The road aptly named ‘Self Pity’ leading to the junction of ‘hate’ ending at the ‘revenge’ motorway.

Yes I spurted out some pretty hateful words on the first couple of days and was spitting flames, but then I checked myself and started to look at ways to move on from this madness. By me continually raging, I was still on day one of the hurt and not moving anywhere fast!

So the first thing I did was call upon Archangel Raguel.

It does not matter if you do not believe in angels. What have you got to lose? They will answer whether you believe in them or not.

You have t

Archangel Raguel - justice

o invoke angels, they need permission to enter your lives.

It’s very simple to invoke them. I just said, “Archangel Raguel I give you permission to come into my life and deal with this situation as you see fit and take the pain of this away from me.” There, done.

Archangel Raguel works on a pale blue light ray, so when you ask him to come and help imagine a big pale blue ball of light as you ask.

Trust me it works.

I then made sure I did something EVERY DAY that was for me and my indulgence. Basically a ‘self love’ exercise.

I am somewhat limited to movement so did self healing in meditation, but for the sprightly person I would always recommend healing. Either at a local spiritualist centre or a local recommended Reiki practitioner.

The next thing is to get all of your thoughts and emotions out. For the more physical people, go run and scream out somewhere isolated. Scream to the top of your lungs until you can’t scream any more. Go punch something (Preferably a punch bag, not the villain in this piece!) go and play sport. exhaust yourself of the emotion burdening you.

If you prefer a more cadenced approach write out your feelings in a journal (my students know I love a journal!) keep writing until you get bored of writing about the same thing. I also ask a family member in spirit within the words to also help me out. This means that you have exhausted all of the negative thought patterns in your mind and soul through your writing. It is very cathartic and it will surprise you how much you end up writing.

Whether you are in a field like a crazed lunatic or writing your woes out in a journal also state your INTENT. Where you want to be in six months time. The Universe needs to understand the problem, how you want to move from it and what you want at the end of it. (Don’t say ‘agony for that rat!’ It’s all about you remember!).

CRYSTALS

Sunstone is the ultimate crystal for this situation.

Sun stone gives you self empowerment, vitality and cleanses you from the negative actions of other people. It is also excellent for strength and courage say in an interview (or court hearings if you are divorcing them!) Have it as jewellery, in your pocket, or ladies in your bra, that’s where I keep mine. Don’t forget to charge them I will be doing a blog on crystal care another time.

If the villain is still in your life, i.e a difficult boss, awful neighbour or negative colleague then get yourself a Laboradite. This is the best protection from other peoples intentions that you can get. It mirrors their energy and protects your auric field at the same time. Plus it is absolutely lush to look at. When I know I need it, I wear it as a pendant and smile inside knowing that every intention coming out of that fickle person is being reflected right back into their soul! Love it!

Again you may not even have faith in crystals but they do work. They resonate with our meridians to create an energy that works in it’s own unique way.

There are many crystals that can help but these two have appeared in my mind for this input so I will go with it.

After you have dealt with this situation and person for a while, the next natural step is to move on. This is where the daddy of the Archangels needs to rock up, sweep you off of you feet, cut any ties that bind you to that person and sail you off into the sunset not giving them a second thought!

ARCHANGEL MICHAEL

He works on a royal blue ray of colour. Do the same, ask him to come to your aid to give you the strength to move on and live your life to the full. Usually you will get a sign that the angels have heard within a couple of days after the invocation. It could be a white feather apported in an unusual place, an angel symbol in an unusual place or any personal synchronicity that makes you think, “Wow, that’s my sign to say I have been heard!” Don’t forget to look out for angel numerology. Any numbers of three or the number three in them.

I know it hurts. I know it is exceptionally hard, but there is one more thing you must do to break the energy connection between you and the baddie.! You are going to resent this and it will sting but it is the only thing that works.

Love over hate is a stronger more tangible energy. It empowers you and sends a beacon of light out into the Universe that you now embrace and attract love.

You must send love to the baddie.

Yes I know, impossible right?

I send pink hearts to them and then move on with my day. It takes a lot to get to this stage but when you do do it, it feels empowering.

By doing this, you are streets above their pathetic behaviour. You are moving on loving and valuing yourself and your self worth.