Tuesday, November 4, 2008

In And Out!

No riots yet. Made it home safe from the ghetto, changed into the winning shirt, chugged three beers, walked across the street and voted. At least this time, the lady at the table actually asked me for I.D. This is the first time I have ever been asked to provide I.D., so that was a good sign. There weren't a whole lot of people there, but I found the perfect booth so when new voters walked in the door, they would see my shirt first thing! Heh! Heh!

When I was done, I turned around and there were about 10 people waiting in line and I made eye contact with all of 'em. A couple older dudes gave me the head-nod of approval, but most either looked away or had a disgusted look on their face. I always like the approval of any given shirt, but I really get off more when someone gets pissed. More were pissed than anything. Mission accomplished!

On my way out the door one of the dudes in line smiled and said, "Nice shirt." I smiled back and said, "We gotta stick together!" I should've told him that Claudia was the deciding factor, but he wouldn't have known WTF I was talking about...

Thanks for the votes peeps! It was a tough decision. I wonder what other reaction I would've gotten from shirt #1? Oh well...

Shirt #1 may have lost, but I wore this because it was such a close race:

Now it's time to get fucked up and watch the shit go down. I sure wish I could smoke a bowl right about now, but I'm out. I wonder if any of my JHE-supporting asshole neighbors wanna spread the green around? Nah, they're only generous with green when it's someone else's green.

Thanks labcat! :-) I'm only at 7 Bud's right now, but I'll raise you a few Buds to one Natural. Eh, fuck it! I'm gonna get shitfaced tonight! I don't expect anything left of this 24 pack when I wake up in the morning! What a disaster! I fold! Fuck!

I wasn't worried so much tonight as I'm gonna be tomorrow night leaving the ghetto. I talked a couple guys at work into bringing their pieces to work with them tomorrow. We're gonna caravan out of there after work, so if something does goes down, we'll have a nice little team of white boys who know how to shoot! I don't think it's gonna happen, but it feels good to be prepared...

FOD

FOD is the brainchild of Paul, who hates Mondays almost as much as he hates the Cooncracker. You don't have to fly the one fingered salute. But it helps. Send your picture to gravdigr@cebridge.net Put FOD in the subject line.

Drunken Fools

Pure Genius

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.~W.C. Fields

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.~Benjamin Franklin

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.~Hunter S. Thompson

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.~Frank Sinatra

Here's to a long life and a merry oneA quick death and an easy oneA pretty girl and an honest oneA cold beer and another one!~Author Unknown

Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.~W.C. Fields

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

~Cliff Clavin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

~ Dave Barry

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

~Henny Youngman

Our Lager which art in barrelsSwallowed be thy drinkAt home, as it is in the tavernForgive our spillagesAs we forgive those who spill against usLead us not into incarcerationBut deliver us from hangoverFor thine is the beer, the bitter and the barley.Barmen~The Beer's Prayer

Alcohol May Be Man's Worst Enemy

But The Bible Says Love Your Enemy

~ Frank Sinatra

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink…If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. - Charles Bukowski

The liver is evil and must be punished. - Author Unknown

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer Simpson

Write drunk; edit sober. - Ernest Hemingway

I take every day one beer at a time, one beer every sip at a time. - Dennis Leary