Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, green, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gluten free, politically correct, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday or whatever bizarre beliefs that keep you from being offended, having your little feelings hurt or ever having to say the word Christmas. As a bonus, I believe this celebration of “Whatever Day” can be accomplished without ever using a plastic grocery bag.

To all of my Republican friends; Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!