Q. I work with a group of women who really hate another colleague I'll call Sue. To be fair, Sue has backstabbed all of them, but so far I get along with her. My coworkers are trying to turn me against her, but I refuse to eat, laugh, and share stories of my life with them and blatantly exclude Sue. That's so high school. What should I do? --M.C., 41, FLORIDA

A: Isn't it crazy when we find ourselves in situations that make us feel like we're 16 again? I've learned that some people--no matter how old they get--feel better about themselves when they're bringing others down. But like you, I always want to see the best in people, so here's what I'd do: The next time you find yourself in a Sue-bashing session, pipe up with a straightforward, "I hear you, but she's always been friendly to me." If they keep at it, tell the team they should pull Sue aside to talk about their issues with her, resolve them, and move on. That way, the workplace can become a happier, less gossipy environment for all of you. I think an after-work ladies' night is in order, and you could be the one to bring everyone together.

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