Tender Buttons

He´s cooking stew in the old pot
we all need to eat some time
you´re out on the balcony smoking
while your mother lies dying in her bed
it´s been years you´ve been here last
death brings you back together
you feel close – related by blood – blood love

blood is thicker than water
we´ve heard it a thousand times
it feels so true now that you passed away

sorting out her stuff you realise
you never dared to think about her death
we are never old enough to lose our old folks
how do you bear it how?

your sister hates you
your mother waited each christmas
for your call and the phone remained silent

love sometimes only shows after death

Dad, I didn´t expect what it did to me
all these years passed without us talking
you may be the weakest man I
ever knew but it vanished into thin air
took your death to make me forgive
death brings us back together
I feel close – related by heart – love love

blood is thicker than water
we´ve heard it a thousand times
it feels so true now that you passed away

sorting out my feelings I realise
I always thought I´d feel relieved
we are never wise enough to lose our old folks
how do you bear it, how?

my sister´s indifferent, my brother might have waited
for your sorry and the phone remained silent

Barb Wire (for Barbara Padron Hernandez www.barbara-padron.com)

you´ve been writing all these songs
for all those girls
and all those people
about the world and hate
you painted pictures
of their features
of their faces
of their lifes and love
you´ve been writing all these songs
for the neglected
the abandoned
and the left-behind
you painted pictures
of their bodies
of their scars
of bruises and blood

I wonder if anybody ever wrote a song for you
I did, I wrote a song for you

I want to sing about your talent
of the songs
how you left home
too soon too far
I want to sing about your magic
how you take us in
of friendship and sin
I want to sing of human kindness
of compassion
of your love
your generosity
I´m painting pictures
of high passion
of devotion
distress and desire

seasons

what is winter going to be like this year
everybody is messed up and weary
I lost a friend I never really had
your wife is about leaving

what is next spring gonna be like
are we ready for another year?
can you carry your load any further
will we find peace

and again we assume that summer
will delight us, will take away the fear
how come he is always in charge
to enlighten our mood

gloomy gloomy gloomy
autumn is closing in
my favourite season
is your most abhorred

colours

low sun

falling leaves

melancholie they bring

to prepare us

for the winter

strange nature

love to be by your side
sometimes you seem to wonder why
just like sometimes I wonder why
you love me, love me like you do

you apply with double standards
I respond by freezing you off
we work hard on our communication
always in order to get by

you plead for tender words that I
say when I feel like it
words ain´t my tool to express what I feel
I love you, love you like I do

I want to get on with you in the daylight
when not covered by nights black veil
I wanna love you in the daylight
when passion won´t help to overbear
the things we don´t know of each other
whatever we just can´t comprehend
what we think of as strange nature

you say you think I´m complicated
hey – I´m easy to get on with
but I think you´re complicated
you say, you´re easy to get on with

we talk and talk but we get nowhere
we just never comprehend
black is blue and pink is yellow
hot is cold and sour´s sweet

but in the morning
I inhale the scent of your skin
after holding us all night
sweat and salt get blurry

I want to get on with you in the daylight…..

easy

I take a look at the assambled crowd and I
start wondering about their thoughts
it´s hard to put into words my feelings
and the astonishment about us all

cause it´s easy

life is so easy

nothing to worry about around here

it´s easy

fresh water always running out my tap
got a hot head, I stick it underneath
I quench my first, what a relief
cold water brings me back to life

yes, it´s easy

life is so easy

nothing to worry about around here

see it´s easy

no food in the fridge, one at night
I won´t starve the gas station is close
a bar of chocolate will last me
til the food stores open in the morning

oh, it´s easy

life is so easy

nothing to worry about around here

see it´s easy

no money in my pocket I only put
a card into a machine and then
there´s money in my pocket again
on credit but it won´t bring me down

see it´s easy

life is so easy

nothing to worry about around here

it´s easy

sausage MC

breathing
death wish
back down
bit by bit

act of compensation
love deprivation
appreciation
distraction

existance
basic requirements
be still
be still, I can´t stand you dying

you´re my secret husband
your presence is never annoying me
you´re my secret husband
you know what I think by a glance in my eyes
you´re my secret husband
we got married long time ago
you´re my secret husband
far too long that I´ve last seen you around
you´re my secret husband
nobody knows
nobody knows you exist

you´re my secret husband

my mum doesn´t know

you´re my secret husband

my friends don´t know you exist

only when it comes to making love
your body´s far too strong for mine
your skin ain´t got no softness
your body is far too shaped
but I´d marry you again and again
as long as we don´t make love
you´re my secret husband
nobody knows

you´re my secret husband
maybe you already died?
maybe they locked you away
for the things you stand for

you´re my secret husband

my mum doesn´t know

you´re my secret husband

my friends don´t know you exist

you´re my secret husband, nobody knows

winter´s touch

the flowers on my balcony are fading
they are waiting for winter´s touch
birds are singing the season´s song
and I need to touch your face

the trees don´t wear a single leaf now
there´s no hiding for anyone no more
I hate to close the curtains and I won´t
I go anywhere to love you

hope for snow and it´s white comfort
keeps us going round this time of year
they put up the seasons market
I´d go anywhere to find you

your curls on my face they wake me
can hardly believe I lie beside you
you turn to me smiling I turn to you
I go anywhere to lie with you

the flowers on my balcony are fading
they are waiting for winter´s touch
birds are singing the season´s song
and I need to touch your face

so bad

amour fou

uh I know shouldn´t be here with you
but you´re the reason why I breathe
I take each cold-turkey with a smile
as long as I know I´ll have you again
for an hour or maybe two beside me you lay

and I wriggle uh I wrap myself around you
I am over you under you up above
roll over I let you have all of me
look at you as you lay on my pillow
and my lips get wet with desire
I want to take bites of you
somehow it hurts in a nice way

my throat keeps swelling and I can´t wait to eat you up alive
I´d like to press my body inside of yours through the skin of your back but I can´t
I´d love to just dematerialize and travel through your veins
I´d come up again through your throat and out of your mouth and I´d hug you again

and I wriggle uh I wrap myself around you
I am over you under you up above
roll over I let you have all of me
look at you as you lay on my pillow
and my lips get wet with desire
I want to take bites of you
somehow it hurts in a nice way

uh I know shouldn´t be here with you
but you´re the reason why I breathe
and I take each cold-turkey with a smile
as long as I know I´ll have you again
for an hour maybe two beside me you lay

Dani

ani said huh, I hate myself today
couldn´t help but tell him: I hate you every day
he grinned and slapped me on the arm
it made me tumble down

he stumbled and flipped over
head over knee
heavily dropped down, him on me
we burst laughing like mad cows
and started a mud fight

soon our friends came running
to see whats going on
instead of settling the dispute
the joined us right away
and we ended up bruised
yes we ended up bruised

and the moral of the story is
and the moral of the story is
and the moral of the story is

none

final relief

most of my life I´ve been waiting for you to die, yes, finally die
I know I have to find a better way to let go of the past
I need to quit waiting for you to admit your misconduct
you sit there self-righteous as ever and you make me feel
unworthy

the relief by your death is something I dream of constantly
the thought of you existing another twenty years is strangeling me
why can´t you just disappear? why can´t you just disappear?
please leave us alone

is it that only the good die young?
are you going on with your life so we will never have peace on earth?
are you doing this, I mean staying alive
cause you are so nasty?
you love to give us creeps and you torment us with your presence

is it that you just never reflect?
I no longer block out incidents from consciousness
I can´t go on, I mean, I can´t
yes you are nasty
you love to give me creeps and torment me with your presence

why can´t I just disappear? why can´t I just disappear? why can´t I just disappear?

Relics

I thought I hoovered up all of your hair
but at times one´s appearing somewhere
every now and then your scent is rising from the sheets
it´s the one thing, the one thing I don´t need

I don´t want you to act no part in my life no more
I don´t want no relics from the time of our togetherness

I thought I was wiping the ground well enough
but at times footsteps of you appear
every now and then you reflect from my mirror
it´s the one thing, the one thing I don´t need

I don´t want you to have no bearing in my dreams no more
and this is even though you fit into them so well

I don´t want you to act a part in my life no more

daredevil, not you (kitchen)

I got so mad at you lately
you never chanced anything
never let you deceive them
never let you know how I feel

substitute and projection
of passion and obsession

never acting, never fighting
waiting for things to change
it takes years – whilst on your mind
she´s already in your bed

substitute and projection
of passion and obsession

substitute and projection
of passion and obsession

cowered and lazy
life ain´t porn
I am not the redemption
I am just the mirror

sweet escape
your monogamy is just a lie
a beautiful dream
leading nowhere

never important enough
to dare something
in the long run
you all end up in my kitchen

snow queen

hard to be your friend
he said it´s even harder
to be your lover
don´t let space for anyone
to come near you
or to fulfill any of your wishes
beset them with expectations
far too high
don´t-talk-to-me-face … again
swallow hard
larynx up and down it goes
see you pumping
breathing hard
ice cold cold shine hatred
disability, self-hatred
I wish you could take my hand

imagine life
the way it will never ever be
again it didn´t turn out the way you planned
find your self in the same dead end again
wondrin´how you always get there
I am still your friend
but I can´t support this crusade
I offered you a possibility
a way out
refused it
are you willing to go ahead?

chained up myself again
I´m callous from head to toe
tried so hard to get away from here
and I worked so hard on my stay
worried bout you too often
paid attention to myself too rare

calmly step out the door
not one look back again
it´s so easy to leave it behind
and it´s so simple to linger about
dreamed about it too often
made it come true too rare

will I make it to break free
will I ever escape from me

always one foot on the run
but I met my obligations
I tried so hard to be self-contained
yet I worked so hard on my bale
worried bout you too often
paid attention to myself too rare

without love I can´t go on
why does it feel like a menace?
just let me spread my wings
while you lock me up in your cuddle
felt trapped too often
let go too rare

will I make it to break free

on another day

don´t wanna think
about any future
tired of killing
love with anxiety
don´t wanna think
what will happen to us
or how you
will break my heart

I want to be in the moment
in love with you today
and tomorrow doesn´t matter now
I will know more on another day

I´m tired of them shaking
their head over me
I´m sick of hearing
how everybody knows
how our story
is going to end
for reasons
that seem obvious to them

I want to be in the moment
in love with you today
and tomorrow doesn´t matter now
I will know more on another day

the sea

I am sitting by the waterside thinking of your body
how when I touch your marvellous skin you turn into a woman
racehorse-legs wrapped gently round my waist
your smile I love your voice when you sing along
to cheesy love songs

in mind I steal away we kiss – in every corner we kiss
lay down on the green, cover me with you
I almost put salt and pepper in my coffee
I was taking them for sugar and cinnamon

you are my downfall
you are my downfall
I wish I was the sea because
you´d miss me more if I was

do you remember that day at the gallery
I was dying to touch you but I
was so shy and nervous I could only streak you
I couldn´t wait to be alone with you
cover you with me
you were right, we´ve been to the moon

if only I could, I would be so different
wear a better style, eat better food,
things that seem to be so easy to change
but try it yourself, I can´t stop loving you

you are my downfall
you are my downfall
I wish I was the sea
I would drown you in my wave
you are my downfall

leftover wine

another nameless cock
is crawling out these sheets
keep those eyes shut
til the front door´s closed

throw them pills in that throat
swallow´em down with that leftover wine
pass out until late
don´t dream don´t think don´t speak

shower down those tears
get out that short dress
put that make up on
til those marks are gone
throw them pills in that throat
swallow´em down with that bourbon
stay out until late
don´t dream don´t think don´t speak

driven out into that night again
taken home another type again
paralized in his arms you let
him do what he´s gotta do

snowed up

my train is coming in
your train is coming in
there´s no time to waste
don´t want to leave you again

go grab your bag
we buy food galore
and climb up to some chalet
and let us get snowed up

and as I lay your hand
upon my beating heart
you whisper sweet words
and I answer with a kiss
one day the snow will melt
but now there is plenty of time
noone will interrupt us
in this world of our own

you promise we find the love way
will we even try?
now the two of us are here
to forget about it for a while

snowflakes on glowing cheeks
even if I could
I would not want to love
anyone but you

here we are my sweet
unable to speak
unable to say
hey, I missed you
one day the snow will melt
but now there is plenty of time
no one will interrupt us
in this world of our own

my train is coming in
your train is coming in
there´s no time to waste
don´t want to leave you again

birthday

today is your birthday
and to your honour
I fell into the window
of a bakery where
guys sat sipping on
steaming black coffee
laughing about me
and I burst myself
I miss you much today
just like any other day
and I wish I could bake you
a delicious birthday cake
put on them candles
I know you blow them out at once
and your wish is that we travel
to an island in the sun
go pack up
cause these things come true
and we spend our time
lazing round and having fun
then we are recovered
our nerves are strong
that will keep us from more
and worse accidents
happy birthday

birds

you´re dancing in the living room
dancing to my song
if you knew who I wrote it for
you´d throw the stereo out the window

ooooh I owe you
you gave birds to the one I love

one day you will learn the truth
no smile when we meet
you say I betrayed you
will you still listen to my song, though?

whhooooo I owe you
you gave birds to the one I love

if this is love and believe me it is
how can it be wrong
if this is love and yes it is
how can it be bad??

yes, this is love

sausage MC

breathing
death wish
back down
bit by bit

act of compensation
love deprivation
appreciation
distraction

existance
basic requirements
be still
be still, I can´t stand you dying

addiction
unable to move
loss
never had

vital force, bird
lesson to learn
reanimation
come back, don´t die

Vina (happy love song)

I carry a light through the rain
no chance to smother the flame
never felt so strong before
I am divine tonight

when our bodies and minds
melted into each other
nothing mattered anymore
nothing could come between us

I thought coming back here
would break me in two
but the flame keeps going up
I am fulfilled I am whole

I carry a new layer under my skin
it just fits my outline exact
is that you inside of me?
stay inside I give you a ride

the prey´s face

wearing the prey´s face you told me
you don´t love me and I just don´t fit
and all I ever did was feeling wrong
and I tried to change into someone else

bridge
because I was never enough
and I found out only by now
that you were afraid
that you were afraid

ch
afraid of loving someone too much
losing control
afraid of loving someone too much
losing control

Pauki:

you can spare me your psycho-analysis
true is what you never see
I´ve been playing you around my girl
and now please get out of my way

because you are never enough
and I found out only by now
you think I´m afraid
you think I´m afraid

afraid of loving …

now you found yourself a nice girl to love
I wish you happiness and all
and all I ever do is feeling wrong
and keep tryin´to change into someone else

bridge
because I am never enough
and I found out only by now
you were wearing the prey´s face whilst
being the culprit ´cause of your weakness

ch
loving someone too much
losing control
you were loving someone too much
losing control

the girl´s gotta go

caught in a trap being torn
between here and there
crowded by caring people: lonely
the child will never be born

running around in circles
trying to step out of here
can someone please please please
put his finger on it

ch
there ain´t no mercy
everyday life is getting you down
there ain´t no mercy
the girl´s gotta go

when she needs you around
you´re just nowhere to be seen
crowded by caring people: lonely
the child will never be born
when she needs you around
you´re just nowhere to be seen

ch
there ain´t no mercy
everyday life is getting you down
there ain´t no mercy
the girl´s gotta go

when she needs you around
you´re just nowhere to be seen
crowded by caring people: lonely
the child will never be born
when she needs you around
you´re just nowhere to be seen

watercolour landscapes

imagine you met a fairy
and you had 3 wishes free
what would you wish for thee
and what would you like to be

first and second wish peace on earth
and happiness for everyone
the third wish is for me
and this is what I´d like to be

ch
a french woman in her mid-fourties
crinkles make me even more beautiful
the floral dress brings out my neatness
my manner is charming and kind

we live out in the countryside
enough money not to think about it
boring watercolour landscapes that I paint
are selling well on the local market

sometimes I´m having red wine for breakfast
we like to go for picknicks at the ponds nearby
love to have guests to join our happiness
chatting away the warm nights

ch
a french woman in her mid-fourties
crinkles make me even more beautiful
the floral dress brings out my neatness
my manner is charming and kind

we live out in the countryside
enough money not to think about it
boring watercolour landscapes that I paint
are selling well on the local market

isabelle, juliette, sandrine, ludivine
how I envy you
sometimes at the movies
I am you for an hour or two

The Letting Go

passion rises above all wisdom
that´s why I let you in again
why I´am drawn to touch fire
I can´t explain
I´m on auto-pilot

will I ever learn that the flame is cruelly burning this delicate skin o´mine?

glad I deleted all your numbers
cause I´d call you straight away
and tell you how much I long to see you
I know you spit me out again
pain´s the poison I need

will I ever learn that the flame is cruelly burning this delicate skin o´mine

doctor said you´re the right one for me
and it just isn´t the right time
you need to grow to get ground under your feet
you´re just not ready for me

how cruel is he to ask don´t see him again
he´s right with that but what the hell?
I am drawn to touch fire

will I ever learn….

how can I endure I have to let go?
you´re my kindred spirit
feels too good when we´re together
that´s why you turn around and leave
I kill the puppet on your string!
I won´t let you in again!

lipstick stains

walking on air
in hand a piece of fabric
of your skirt
I held on to as you turned away

it will take 20 years to finally get to Burntwood
but I won´t dare to ring your bell
I´ll just stand and stare at your door, love
wondering what´s going on inside

you might rock your little son on your knee
your wife walks in smiling, serving dinner
the dog strifes your leg as you walk on to the table
caressing your daughter´s head while passing by

I watch in your window from outside, Love
and I start crying ´bout the love you live
cause it´s me who wanted to share your life
but I wouldn´t ever serve you dinner smiling

I´d walk in smiling that special kind of smile
show you my boobs and walk back out
run up to the first floor, you follow
and we make love on the stairs

at night I would watch you sleep
hungry, hungry for your touch
I bite your lip and wake you up
just to give you one last kiss
before I lay awake, afraid you leave

so maybe I should learn to serve you dinner smiling
have your babies, be a good wife
but I doubt that I could go on loving you like that
and you´d probably leave, anyway, the next day

Burntwood
give him back to me
Burntwood please, set him free
free for me
Burntwood
give him back to me
give me Mr. Wood

you can keep your Burnt

ribbons

again and again I try to let go
but the deep bond and the ribbon between us
are strong as steel and they just don´t break

I think of you at night
and walk into you in the morning
after a night at your new lover´s home
I´m not hurt anymore but sometimes I miss you

I feel you´re passing by
the bus that I ride
and as I turn to look over
I see you ride
your lovely old cycle
that once made me fall for you

I tried to love others
once or twice I did
but it never felt as complete
and never lasted
it never felt
the way it felt with you

chorus:
how I appreciate you
it is such a long time gone
how I lift you up
it is such a long time gone

half hearted

made her wait a thousand years
when finally she quit biding her time
he drove a wedge between her
and her who´s going ahead

agonizing day and night
expecting his return
should she go on with her new life
or abandon it for him

she was close to giving it up
when he got back at last
she suffered a snub as he started
breaking the news

she never meant the world to him
neither did he to her
things wouldn´t have emerged like that
they just needed an excuse

she was never bold enough
to drain into someone´s ground
he didn´t take the only chance
he only held half a heart

he was never strong enough
to want her like she needed
she wouldn´t give´m another chance
she doesn´t want half a heart

time and tide wait for no man
I heard her say
time and tide wait for no man
I heard her say
I don´t mean for this to be a charge
I just have to get it off my chest some time
I don´t mean for this to be a charge
I just have to get it off my chest some time

but there is always doubt
what if he is strong enough for me
what if we fit better than anyone could ever fit
what if he…
what if she…
but love is gone