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This thread holds thoughts and feelings by members who can't speak out these to the people they're for. Inspired by a conversation I had with someone, the purpose of this thread is to allow members who want to get something off their chest out there and into the open without allowing the person that they're for to know that they're for them. Most of the time, it's to share our feelings -- disguised as a crush -- towards someone.

Other times, it's for something a little more serious. There are some things that we just want to put out there, but we're scared of what will happen when we do. This way, the feelings get put out there for the world, but holds the anonymity that holds back the consequence of sharing it with the person it's for.

xoxo - try to keep the "Dear Anonymous" part in tact with your message for authenticity! n__n

IMPORTANT NOTE: This thread is not for thinly veiled arguments and anyone using it to incite personal drama will be infracted. Consider the thread more the equivalent of writing a letter to someone and then burning it. Get your feelings out if you must but if you have to rant so specifically that the original person (and everyone else) knows who you're talking about, take it to a private venue like a text file on your desktop or a Livejournal set to private.

Hey guys! Look over here! Dear Anonymous, it’s back!

For those of you who are too new to know this, Dear Anonymous was posted earlier this year and quickly became one of the most popular threads OVP has ever seen, because it was quite simply genius. It was locked, however, because people were using as a tool to fuel in-fighting within the community, and in the end the drama became so difficult to manage that the thread was closed.

You have no idea of the lengths we had to go to just to convince the H-staff to allow us to post this thread again. The drama it caused the last time left some of them gunshy, and rightly so. We have promised that it will not become the same drama-pit that it devolved into last time, and if you as members dishonour that you will not only contribute to the destruction of the thread, but you will make sammi and I look bad.

If there is one thing I do not tolerate, it is people making me look bad.

Therefore, here is the deal. We now have a one-strike policy. If you are caught posting anything negative about another member or any forum-related situation, you will be infracted for disrespect to other members and you will be banned from posting in the thread ever again.

This thread will be watched closely and there will be NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE.

A handful of people ruined this for everybody else last time, and that is not going to happen again.

I want to improve, but I don't know how. I think it's more of a matter of learning through experience, but to see others naturally better at it makes me feel somewhat disheartened in wanting to improve. Instead, it makes me feel the other way, as in "You just can't see my way of thinking". I was told I'd be allowed individuality now, but I feel like until I'm out there, I'm just going to have to conform.

I feel like my behavior is pushing you away, we used to be really close but now I'm not so sure. Recently you've seemed to be trying not to actually talk to me and whenever you have you've been very blunt. I can't fix it unless you tell me what I've done wrong, lightly hinting at it like you're doing now isn't the way to go here, you should know by now I don't pick up hints.

I really wish we could talk more often. Since coming back home I have been starved for the sort of conversations we had that I took for granted while at college. I just feel so alone and isolated at home and I can't take the boredom much longer. Please mesage me online or something. I don't need to discuss anything in particular; I just want to talk. Thanks.

this is more of a problem that I have with myself than with you, it's like a dilemma. If I tell you, I feel like I betray someone else, but if I don't tell you it feels like I am lying and I don't know what to do. I didn't choose to get the information that I got, it happened and at that point I was in between two people. I've told myself that it's not my fault whatsoever, whichever decision I make and that it won't be 'betrayal' or 'lying', but no matter what, I can't believe myself on that. It might not be the biggest deal of all but I needed to get this off my chest some way or another.

You're obviously a very intelligent person, otherwise you wouldn't be where you are. While I rarely, if ever, agree with you, your dedication to your convictions is worthy of respect. I may regularly argue with you, and many other times I'm thinking about it, you can make me really mad without ever knowing! But you are brilliant.

__________________

"Lightning. It flashes bright, then fades away.
It can't protect. It only destroys."

You are such a great person yet I find it most difficult to approach you. I know you expect me to always start the conversation, and I try, but most of time I black out. I see you, I go to talk to you, then I stare. Stare until you leave. I apologize for not being able to talk to you while I am able to. Also, I watched Disney's Tarzan lately and it really was a good movie, like you said.

Would you truly accept me for who I am? Would you love me unconditionally? Would you think of me as a different person? You always treated me with kindness and respect, but I fear that will change. And I don't want to upset you, or anyone else for that matter. But really, is it my problem if you can't accept it?

Okay. I have written, typed, and thought of so many ways to say this, but none of them are right. This one I'm typing now probably won't be the way I wanna say it. But lemme just get it out. I still have feelings for you. And I made a mistake a few months ago, and unfortunately I made it while trying to be cautious about the situation. Shows what caution gets you. ...What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for what I did, but that it hurts knowing that one little thing, which to be honest wasn't completely my own mistake, just got you to quit treating me that way. It was nice. And...I want it back.

I really wish there was something I could do to help you get out of your rut. I've suggested so many thing that you could do alone, or that you could do with other people, or that we could do together - even things I don't like and don't really want to do. It saddens me every time I see you try something new, get your expectations so high, and then quit when you can't meet those too-high goals. I wish I could even talk with you about this, but even bringing it up sends you into a spiral of self-loathing. I wish I could talk with you about this because even though I've gotten better it still sometimes happens with me, too, and I think we could help each other.

Honestly, I don't know what to think about you guys anymore. We've been such good friends for a long time and during that time I've put up with a lot of crap from you guys. Yet, I'd look past it and forgive you because yknow, that's what friends do. However, I do one little thing, and it's not even a bad thing, and suddenly you just drop all contact with me? You're overreacting about everything and it makes me so mad that you're letting your gigantic egos get in the way of a great friendship.

I thought I'd just wait it out and let you calm down and wait until you wanted to talk to me again....but how is that fair to me? I didn't even do anything wrong, so I shouldn't be punished for it. You chose to be this way and I'll talk to you when I decide it's time, not you for once. I'm so sick of being disrespected by you.

Dear Anonymous[es],

School is kicking my butt and I'm so busy all the time that I feel so out of the loop with you all. You guys look like you're having so much fun and I wish I could be apart of it, but I can't with my insane schedule. I hope you don't think i'm just drifting away, because I love you guys to much to D: I hope I can join in your ridiculous shenanigans when break finally rolls around.

I really hope you don't make the after-prom mandatory. I really want to go to prom, but I don't want to inconvenience my mom by having to stay until 2:30. She needs much more rest than I do, after all.

You guys are so amazing. <3 I love talking to you all everyday, I mean, we have so much fun and such. :3c I don't really want to drag on with this so I'll keep it short. n__n Ily guys. ♥

Dear Anonymous,

You're such an awesome member and a really nice person. You sometimes act down which makes me sad because I love seeing the happy side to you. You're really great funny etc Sometimes you can act mad but Idc after the things you go through sometimes. :3c

I won't let you put me down anymore, I've finally come to realize you aren't worth anything to me. I feel as if our friendship was false. I just wonder if you're as arrogant offline. 'Cause it really shows online. How contradicting of a person you are. I'm glad this torment is over, staying with you this whole time was stupid of me to do. I'd just wish you opened your eyes for once. You really do put people down. Good luck with your funny ass jokes to hurt people even more than you have with me. There's no reason to even mend a friendship with you.

I can't believe that you thought what you said was okay. You called my life a lie. You said that the world I knew, both on and offline, was imaginary, fake. I want to believe you didn't mean any harm by it but I can't believe you'd even say something like that in the first place!
How you countered when I reacted poorly was something else. I don't even know how to begin comprehending what made you think I'd take that blow happily. That I'd be told that I was living a bold-faced lie and come out of it grinning. No. That makes no sense.
And now I can't get it out of my head. "Imaginary life".... You really shouldn't have been surprised when I reacted poorly. And somehow standing up for myself makes me the villain. I just don't get it... And it hurts.... I wish you didn't treat me this way anymore but really... what can I do that doesn't involve destroying who I am?

I'm sorry... I really am... but this seriously doesn't involve a member or anything like that... but if you believe that it's still grounds for punishment go ahead. I prolly have it coming.

I'm so glad we decided to work things out and continue trying to nurture our relationship. There's obviously something between us, and we just weren't ready to say goodbye. I like the way it feels when you hold me. It feels right, and I've never felt so right in my life. Even so, I can't erase the truths that were said the other night and I can't help but start preparing myself for the time when it may eventually come that we do part ways. We had a truly magical night last weekend, and I'll never forget that. We always have these beautiful moments, but I feel our everyday interactions shouldn't feel so forced - why are we so awkward when it comes to actually just being friendly? You're the closest person in my life right now. Let's just be comfortable talking like we are when we're holding each other. Okay? I don't see why not.

In either case, this weekend is really going to test us. Meeting a member of your family for the first time is going to be really intimidating for me, and I'm not sure how you want me to act. I'm excited you want to share a moment like that with me, more than you can imagine, but... tell me more than, "just be yourself," because this has more to do with how you want your family to see you. Honestly I don't care what your brother thinks of me...

You are amazing. Not only have you become like family to me, but you've most probably, if not definitely my best friend online. Every conversation we've ever have had basically been a blast, and I don't think I've ever gotten truly upset at you, a feat that's pretty hard to accomplish considering how often we talk tbqh! Continue being awesome, and I do hope that I'll be seeing you in the Summer!

--

Dear Anonymous,

Why is it that every single time I see you in the cafe you talk about the same damn thing? Why can't you get the hint that I do not care about this guy that you keep on going on about, and what he's been doing and what you're doing to so and whatever other nonsense you speak of? It's well... bothersome. I'm seriously considering hiding in the Library this Friday so you don't speak about how 'well' whatever you were speaking of (I forget) last Friday to me. Just... figure out something else to talk about. Ask me about my interests, or something! Just... stop talking about this guy whenever you speak to me.

Also, the band I was in and the band you were in were different, so some of this 'you understand because you're a band kid' doesn't exactly bode well tbqh. Like what you said last week... whatever it was.

I really miss those days a few months back, time has gone by relatively fast for the last month or so but it's not going to make time go by any faster for the future and when you can return. Every time I'm at uni, or doing anything, I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking how those days went by too fast, as all good times do and that it's so long until when those times return. I'm a kinda impatient person with most things and I really try to rush almost everything I do, but yet this is something even I can't control. I feel like everything is less fun as a result. I guess I feel like if I keep thinking about the future then it makes me feel sad because it's a long time away, the past, aka being gone, makes me feel sad too. I've tried to do things I did back then but nothing really feels the same, tbh, lol. That usertitle from a few months back still applies, I'm just not necessarily enjoying waiting. I guess it's okay because really, it's less than 24 even, looking for positives here lool. Either way I really want you to return and can't wait til then :(

Dear Anonymous,

Damn that's an amazing feature. Totally just realised how useful that can be.

I don't know how to confront you, you've changed a looooot since we first met, and you rarely talk to me now ;w; Sometimes you don't even bother replying my messages, which is why I always delete them so it won't make me look retarded.

Also, for some reason, you always make me feel that I'm bothering you by talking to you.. >.< Tell me if I am because I will stop 'bugging' you :o

And to be quite honest, I actually enjoyed talking to you more when I first joined.

I'm sorry if it's cause of something I did, but ever since you went to high school you have always been too "tired" or "busy" to even say hello. It feels like I'm a problem, and you're trying to avoid me. I always have looked up to you as my role model. I don't know what to do about it anymore...

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