thank you so much, ladies, for your warm wishes! yes, i feel really sad inside. and all day i am thinking about my 3 past cycles and what we can do differently going forward. i am a bit sad about my ectopic - it was a viable pregnancy just in the wrong spot! luckily my team (obgyn and embryologyst) are very accessible. my embryologyst answers emails and she is really giving us special attention. anyway, i already swapped emails with her and the plan is to retrieve in 2nd half of october after my DH would have been on suppliments for 10 weeks. i feel stupid for him not having been on suppliments the previous egg retrieval - i dont know for some reason i just didnt think they worked. but i think they do - so we are on them now. so we will retrieve in october and we will freeze all. i think i am one of those people the FET works better for. so we will do a FET transfer right after - probably November.

we are also going to transfer more at a time - assuming we have more good embryos to transfer. a lot of my embryos end up slow and that's not good i guess.

Lyd...thanks for the update, with transferring 4 could it still rise on Monday? Provided that more than 1 took and the surviving one or more is now snuggling in? Or is your RE & embryologist certain. I just remember HopeisAllweHave....remember hers dropped 5 or 10 points then went back up and she transferred more than two I think....So maybe keep your chin up for the rest of the weekend and see what happens....no bleeding right yet? I am praying for you.

AFM - I looked after my friends little guy (11 months) today and at one point they were both crying and I thought WOW....can I really do this? It is becoming pretty real that I will have a 3 year old and newborn...YIKES....this is my dream I always wanted two kids but am I really equipped for this? I am getting scared I want to be a good Mom and don't want to be a mess....and to think last year when I was pregnant with twins I thought I can do this! Toddler & twins....hmmmmm what was I thinking?

My DH did point out that Em will be 3 when new baby shows up and all our friends say from 2 to 3 they change so much...talk more, understand more & loose a little of the diva/dramaness they posses. Hope that is true! Sometimes I am happy to be a stay at home Mom/work at home professional but after January I will probably be begging to go into a office somewhere & work! Too bad most of my contracts are in other states or countries!!!!

Hi Katieb - thanks for keeping the hope alive i also rememebered Hopeisallihave's story. it came to mind right away. but her 1st beta was much higher than mine - it was like 130 or something. mine was only 66. i dont think my beta has room for two embies. but that is the 1% chance i am hoping for Monday.

If this cycle doesnt work, however, then the silver lining is my DS will be older when the baby arrives. i was glad to hear, Katieb, that 3s are easier than 2s. so the timing might work out better if the next cycle works as opposed to this one. Trying to focus on the positive here !!!

just waiting for my repeat beta on monday. in the meantime i still have cramps and fairly strong ones, too. i am totally puzzled by that. this is day five of cramps - on and off. if the pregnancy is no good then why doesnt the bleeding just start? granted i am on PIO and that stuff is bullet proof for me. i've never bled on PIO. still - its kind of weird.

well anyway - i'll know tomorrow lunch time if my beta went down some more and they'll have me stop al the meds or, by some miracle, it went up. i just want to be out of limbo already. i've heard of women with weird betas and then there is usually no heartbeat and the baby is measuring way behind - and they never end up making it out of 1st trimester. anyway, i'll know tomorrow lunch time. i am just puzzled that's all.

this is so weird - because this is what - my 5th cycle - and no two cycles are ever alike. everytime something is different. my 1st cycle i didnt feel anything and it was a bfn. my 2nd cycle i felt lots of twinges and it was a bfp. so after that i thought you for sure need twinges to get a bfp. turns out maybe just my transfer was rough that time and it was my uterus healing instead.my 3rd cycle i felt some twinges but it was an ectopic.my 4th cycle i felt lots of twinges - just like my 2nd successful one - i was so confident i would get a bfp, that when the doc called and told me it was a negative i almost fell out of my chair with surprise. i almost went in for another beta to make sure they didnt mix up my name with someone. instead i just did an hpt at home to confirm and it confirmed a negative. my 5th cycle - this one - i didnt feel anything either. i guess it was a really smooth transfer - no twinges, nothing. this time i was going to be prepared for the phone call so i poased. i got my faint hpts. they were faint so i didnt expect a high beta but was pleased with 66. my DS was an 80 - so i thought 66 is doable. i never thought the 2nd one would go down to 50. was not prepared for that. since i got my DS on cycle #2 i was not exposed to all the ways IVF can go wrong. boy - i was so innocent then . i remember the doc called my husband because i was too scared to take the call. and then my husband called me and said we are pregnant. and we were very happy. when a few days later i went in for my 2nd beta and the doc said it was 200 or something - i didnt even know how lucky i was that it went up the appropriate amount. at the time i was like - well that's what it supposed to do - go up. i didnt even know all the ways it could go wrong - ectopic, chemical. the only scare i had during my first pregancy was bleeding in week 5/6. i started bleeding and for sure i thought i was losing the baby. i had cramps too. i didnt know about SH that time and that bleeding is common in ivf. and my doc also wanted to make sure i followed strict bedrest for 1 week so he put a scare in me by saying this is a threatened miscarriage and i needed to take 1 week off work. which i did and the bleed continued to get smaller and during one of the u/s to check up on the bleed the tech so a heartbeat and that''s how we came to see the heartbeat. no big anticipation, no big drama. just - there it is. man, its nice to be oblivious. so i am very curious to see what this cycle holds for me. so far every one of them has been different. is this going to be my "chemical" cycle or is this going to be my "beta rollercoaster" cycle. i dont know. i guess i'll live through it and find out OMG i wrote a novel here. its kind of nice to get it in writing like this - i should save it somewhere for me to read 10 years from now.

Folks - unbelievable! my 3rd beta came back at 143. wow. i dont know what to think now. i went from 66 to 50 to 143. i am supposed to come back in a week for another beta and see where we are. the doc is now more hopeful - maybe it was 2 embies and one didnt make it. But i am still very worried. I am 17 days post transfer of 3 and 4 day embies and my beta is so low! i dont know what to think. but i am happy its on the upward trend. this is a true rollercoaster. thank you everyone for your well wishes and thoughts!

Lyd- That's awesome news! Maybe you did have a vanishing twin. I know it's still very uncertain, but it certainly is positive news! I'm praying for you and that baby!

AFM- I had another ultrasound today. The bleeding in the uterus has resolved. We saw 2 heartbeats (one rate of 123, one of 125) and both are measuring at 6 weeks and 1 day! We are over the moon, but man am I nauseated! Zofran only helps some, but it's better than nothing. Thank you for all of your well wishes and prayers! We have another ultrasound next week!

Lyd....I can't even believe it!!!! I am so happy happy happy for you! Now just let the little beans snuggle in for the long haul! This is a roller coaster ride for sure but now you are on the home stretch I just know your next beta will be higher again.....and don't worry about the "low" beta I found a website that says at 4 weeks anything from 5 - 426 is normal and for 5 weeks anything from 18 - 7340.....so you are right in there for both so don't fret about that!!! Just chillax as DD & DH like to say!

Wishing.....so happy your back to normal well except for the MS...but nice strong HB is always a awesome sign.

AFM....headed to US on Wednesday for an anatomy scan & maybe a little peek at the sex of the little gummy bear....be almost 17 weeks but not quite so we will see if we can see it. I am praying everything is fine with the bean not too worried since I am looking at my perfect DD of same origin!

thank you ladies! i am letting myself be excited. i figured i was pretty down this weekend. i might as well enjoy it now.

question for you ladies - i've had a stomach ache for the last 5 days or so. i cant tell if its cramps or stomach ache or both. today its definitely stomach ache. i am worried it was a medium rare burger i ate 6 days ago. i got an upset stomach after it and it seems on and off now. i am worried about food poisoning. any experience with it?

LYD10- I had food poisoning from rare hamburger meat along with a girlfriend I was rooming with at a convention a few years ago. We were vomiting and had diarrhea just a few hours after we ate it. It was like a scene from Bridesmaids! Maybe it's just nerves? You have been on quite the emotional journey. My experience with food poisoning is that you know it when you have it.