Thursday, April 3, 2014

9. The school where you got your Master's, and to which you are indebted for the gigs it helped you get to pay off the student loans for the school where you did your undergrad.

8. The place where you wrote your DMA dissertation on your teacher's teacher's teacher's pedagogical methods (or lack thereof).

7. Juellerd. Julleard? Julliard. Jewelyard? Whatever.

6. Harvard.

5. The place you wanted to go for undergrad, but you fracked one single note in one single excerpt and then you panicked and broke down and called the trumpet professor "Dad" and then Dave got in even though he couldn't play Petrushka in time and he's always been kind of a dick about it and now he's subbing like every weekend in the fucking BSO.
4. Royal Something of Great British Academy I think? I hear they never let Americans in. Or maybe that's the other one?

3. The school that everybody knows isn't as good as the school where you did your undergrad, but is "up-and coming." Featuring a lauded entrepreneurship initiative that trains barista skills at one of the three coffee shops housed in its new state-of-the-art building, named for an alumnus of the university's business school currently facing indictment for fraud.