Monday, May 19, 2008

Your Vote Counts

(Edit: If you want your vote to actually count, please select one of the four legal options given below: A, B, C or D. Niki in her usual mischief is trying to derail the orderly process, but I will not tolerate anarchist infiltration on my blog! Votes for non-existing options, and anonymous votes, are invalid.)

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This week, dear readers, we have another first in the history of this blog. You get to cast your vote. Not in some cute little opinion poll that we have seen a thousand times before, like: "What is your favourite spanking implement?" But on a matter that will seriously affect someone's life. My life, to be precise.

As usual, the one getting me into all this trouble is Niki Flynn, my favourite American brat. Actually, the story begins with some very good news: Niki and I will get together again this summer. We've been planning it for some time and are both looking forward to what will certainly be a memorable week. Knowing her, I don't expect the days to go by without the occasional cheeky outburst. If it gets out of hand, I'll just have to deal with it the old-fashioned way, won't I? Naturally, you will read all the juicy details here. So much for what we originally had in mind.

But now, Niki seems determined to unleash her own sadistic side on me. She has that, too, in case you didn't know, and it can be quite vicious when woken up. Well, it's running wild at the moment and her sights are set on me. Niki claims that her motives are just. Personally, I think it's a cheap ploy to reverse the natural order of things and get some revenge for the rightful punishments which she is liable to receive. But I will let you judge the details for yourself.

(Niki doing her best "Werewolf from the East" impression, courtesy of RGE Films)

Last month, as you probably remember, I played a little April Fools' Day prank on you. I claimed that I was leaving for a Kinky Siberian Holiday, visiting a "therapeutic caning institute" in Novosibirsk, among other things. Of course, the whole story was bogus. My reasons for writing it were rather simple, really:

1. As you may have noticed, I do a new post every four days. Regular intervals, like a Bavarian cuckoo clock. When I saw that the next one would be due on April 1st, I thought to myself: hm, why not use the opportunity?

2. I didn't have anything else ready at the time. I had a lot of half-finished pieces, as always, but I wanted to do some more work and save them for later. On the other hand, writing a short little April Fools' Day joke wouldn't take a lot of time.

So I went through with the idea, knowing full well that given the sadistic perverted nature of most of my readers, I could conceivably get in a lot of trouble. But life isn't fun if you never take a risk, right? Besides, I was convinced that no one would take the story seriously, anyway. Going to Siberia for kinky play? Give me a break!

Honestly, no one was more surprised than me when many of you seemed to take my fictional travel plans at face value. At first, I thought you were just being nice and playing along. But apparently, there is nothing far-fetched about the idea of Ludwig journeying to Novosibirsk for a spanking. I am considered just about insane enough to do that. It fills me with a strange sense of pride. And I must confess that I felt greatly amused, having successfully fooled my readers in this matter. It was certainly unexpected, and all the more fun because of it!

I read your increasingly puzzled comments with polite mirth before revealing, the next day, that it had all been a joke. Niki, who had already announced that I would be "in soooo much trouble" if this turned out to be fake, was the first to respond: "I've made a note, mein Herr. You're for it." I'm afraid that I was still in a rather carefree mood after my little jest, so I added insult to injury and wrote:

"Niki and her devices. Uh oh. And it looks like she's mad at me. Little Niki. All 50 kilograms of her. Boy, am I in trouble now... *snorts with suppressed laughter* A woman built like a tree! They called her 'Bonsai'!"

It was all good fun among pals, and Niki knows this, of course. But being her usual mischievous self, she now pretends to be sulking and insists that, humorous or not, I won't get away with my condescending comment that easily. While Niki doesn't mind being chastised and abused, the one thing she cannot stand is when someone belittles her skills. She has decided to view my innocuous teasing as such an occasion. Even among friends, she says, that kind of jibe deserves serious retribution.

Molehills and mountains? I think my mistake was that I spoke in public, so you other readers could egg her on: "Hey Niki, are you going to take that last comment lying down? I think you need to show big bad Ludwig what you're made of." Why, thank you! Now it's a matter of personal pride for her.

As for me, I deny any malevolent intentions. Honestly, folks, the April Fools' Day story was meant to be a harmless gag. I didn't even expect anyone to fall for it. Yeah, maybe my "bonsai" remark to Niki was a bit out of line, but we're pals, aren't we? Can't people take a joke anymore?

Admittedly, our actions can have unintended hurtful consequences. As spankos, we know that they deserve the same strict punishment as conscious wrongdoing. I accept that and I'm not the kind of man who shies away from deserved correction. True, I'm the top most of the time and I don't switch often, only under unusual circumstances. But I willingly submit to a thrashing when one is really in order. It's the responsible thing to do, and as a dominant type, I must apply the same strict standards to myself that I expect from others.

So the question is: does this particular incident warrant corporal punishment? Niki thinks so, of course, but I'm reluctant to agree. Not so much because of the painful prospect, but because I simply don't believe it is called for. I still suspect that she is exaggerating her indignation to take a free shot at me. We are at a deadlock and no one wants to back down. No surprise there - we share many traits, stubbornness being one of them.

Therefore, we leave it to you to decide what should happen, and we are counting on your unbiased judgment. You have heard the whole story and know enough about both of us to make an informed decision: mercy, a severe thrashing, or something in between.

In open discussion, there would never be a final outcome, so we have narrowed the choice down to four possible options. Three of them involve the cane. It is Niki's favourite instrument (giving and receiving!), so in case of a guilty verdict, it would obviously have to be used:

A - "Niki, it was all in good, harmless fun. No punishment is needed. Forgive and forget!"

B - "Let the punk get away with a warning. Six cane strokes, on the jeans."

C - "Joking or not, it was cheeky behaviour and deserves a proper response. Twelve cane strokes, on the bare."

D - "It was a serious insult to Niki. As well as that, Ludwig deliberately fooled all of us with his Kinky Siberian Holiday story. Give him 30 cane strokes on the bare, and make them hard!"

You can cast your vote, with the appropriate letter, in the comments section. The poll closes at the end of the week. Anonymous votes don't count, please leave a name.

When Niki and I meet in the summer, we will follow the course that you recommend. It will be fair this way, with our mutual friends choosing the outcome. We can both live with that, and we are grateful for your help.

54 comments:

It seems to me that the three caning choices are simply a diversionary tactic in which you hope to split the pro-punishment vote. However, you do realize that no spanking blog reader is likely to choose A, don't you, Ludwig? Surely you don't really believe that that you should only be caned if you deserve it? I was unaware that any (mostly) top thinks that way! :-)

My vote is for C. D is certainly out; nobody deserves to be punished (even in fun) for a well-executed April Fool's joke. In fact, you deserve to be rewarded for that, so I think Niki should give you a nice warm-up before avenging her hono(u)r. But you can leave that part out for poetic license when you describe the event for your loyal readers who are so looking forward to hearing about your experience with Niki's sadistic side.

Ludwig, I also think C, the Bonsai remark was a bit OTT.As Niki is mostly on the receiving end it would increase her stature no end to hand out a good caning to a somewhat verbose sadist.I do Arnica at a very reasonable price. Grins!!!Warm hugs,Paul.

And I think you are getting away lightly at that.Although the April Fools' joke was imaginative and well executed, it was, at the end of the day, a form of cyber bratting and does justify the punishment, on its own, it must be remembered that having a good giggle is always worth taking a few whacks for.

Second offense, as also mentioned in this post, the insult to Niki Flynn.

Thirdly, in the April Fools' day post comments, there was mention of a Niki Flynn clone. Did you have permission to create this? Have you been taken to task over this yet?

I once got 25 strokes for sneaking a quick smoke before meeting someone, Thirty strokes for what you have done is a bit light and I think you should take that and thank your lucky stars for getting off so light.

It seems you're getting no sympathy from any quarter, my Bavarian brat.

I think you should add an option E: "Niki's choice" - that is, a cumulative total. If, say, five people vote for option C (12 strokes), you should have 12 strokes on each person's behalf. Plus however many extras your smart mouth earns you. And that's not even counting the public humiliation only blogs can provide...

Short of that, Pandora's option also sounds pretty reasonable, i.e. you should get whatever you would dish out if the positions were reversed, at the very minimum. Otherwise, you wouldn't take it seriously and the punishment would not be effective to yourself.

Smallhanded, if you vote for a non-existing option, it will not count. You can re-cast your vote if you like. But please stick with one of the existing options: A, B, C or D.

Predictably, Niki is trying to derail the orderly process and create an ever more excessive and draconic punishment for me (didn't I tell you that, in truth, it's not about justice for her, she just wants a free shot at me?). I trust that our readers will see both sides and keep a sense of perspective here.

A "cumulative option"? I'd end up getting more cane strokes than she did in her entire Lupus career, all for a bit of teasing. That's hardly fair, and certainly not what I would dish out as a top for a similar offense.

The only thing that Niki's attempts at anarchy will achieve is a lot of invalid votes which might otherwise have gone towards the most severe option, D.

Leia, if you don't select an option (A, B, C or D?), your vote will not count. I'm sorry to be a stickler for protocol here, but obviously, the matter affects me rather intimately. Besides, I really don't know what, exactly, you mean by "give it some good swing".

From the original post:

"You can cast your vote, with the appropriate letter, in the comments section."

As well as that:

"Anonymous votes don't count, please leave a name."

I'd be willing to overlook that in your case (if it suits my purposes!), at least you left a signature. But I'd prefer it if people actually typed it into the "name" box.

Valid question, HH, and needless to say, I have already thought about it. The answer is pretty straightforward, really.

This blog "runs" on German time (GMT +1). Comments get their time stamp accordingly. Regardless of which time zone the voter is in, his / her vote will count as long as the time stamp of the comment says May 25th at the latest.

Of course, it also has to meet the other criteria: the vote must be made here (not "in passing" on Niki's blog), it must clearly select one of the four available options, and it can't be anonymous.

Hey, no one said democracy was easy! If I'm offering myself to the judgment of the people, I insist that they take their responsibility seriously and follow a few simple steps!

When in doubt, spank the crap out someone. I'm voting D. I don't even know what this this is about: I operate on the "more is always better" doctrine. Happy hour means that ten drinks only cost has much as five.

Of course not, Billy. But it sure is nice to see how desperate Niki is getting.

Technically, your vote is anonymous. Hm, am I going to count it? I will have to think about that. Hey, maybe I'll even count it! Since Niki has to resort to frantic personal emails, I think she deserves a small reward for her efforts.

Aw, Smallhanded, I was just messing with Ludwig's mind again. Of course, you're right, he is practically begging for the 30. Nonetheless, my real vote is C. Gotta save something for the sequel, after all! I have no problem believing that the Bavarian Brat will manage to earn another caning from Niki soon enough!

I'm not begging for anything, I'm just teasing Niki a bit. No harmful intentions, all in good fun, like the "Bonsai" thing. Sheesh.

When so many people were voting for C and making it look like I would get off pretty lightly, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry, truthfully. It was probably a bit too much taunting. I'm contrite now, Indiana.

Well. I was going to maintain a dignified neutrality on this. Call it British aloofness if you will.

But your "12 strokes? Bring them on!" smacks of bravado, and I am curious to see whether it is false bravado. The test will be made all the more entertaining if you know you have 18 more to anticipate after the 12 are done. So I vote for D.

Hello, All. jesse here. i'm just stepping in for a moment to voice my opinion. As Niki's brother, i am bound by honor to take seriously any sort of slanderous or uncouth remarks made as to her character.

However, as Niki's brother, i also know just how much of an instigator and conniver she is, knowing how she would be all too eager to play the helpless victim (as she is wont to do) and make the situation out to be far more hurtful than it actually was.

And when you come to think of it, bonsai trees are expensive to own, difficult to keep, and require a great deal of upkeep. But when properly and strictly managed, they provide a beautiful and graceful enhancement to any environment. So is this truly the insult that Niki claims it to be? i think not.

my own suggestion which will sadly not count as it is not among the listed options is to have HH cane them BOTH. Niki has always done something to warrant a few dozen stripes and the errant boy obviously needs to be taken down a peg or two.

i am inclined to go with option C with the STRONG recommendation that Niki gets her just due as well.

HH - Can the spouse vote? I think so, nothing wrong with that. An argument can be made that you are just as biased against Niki as you are in favour of her. So you're neutral. Sort of. In any case, I don't mind letting you find out if the bravado is genuine.

jesse - No, as you predicted yourself, the option of HH caning both Niki and me doesn't exist. Sorry, I'm not up for MM punishment - it's just not my thing, and trust me, it wouldn't have the slightest educational effect on me. I'll gladly cane Niki myself, though, or watch while HH does it. No problem with that.

It's got to be D, although i'm voting blind here as I have no idea of Niki's capability to deliver lol!. Anyway, however it comes take it like a man and stop whimpering, because it will completely shatter my lust for German disciplinarians :) Packing to go on holiday now hun, hope my contribution gets you what you deserve!

I think Tom raises an interesting point. We'll have both Niki and Ludwig's word to take on it, but couldn't there be some sort of independant/neutral/dispassionate way of confirming the punishment? If not photgraphic evidence, an official witness, perhaps?

Right. It's Monday the 26th (German time), and the vote is hereby officially closed. Results will be published in a seperate post.

A few final replies:

- Amy: Anything less than 24 cane strokes is just pointless, yes? Good, if I ever end up caning you for some offense, I will remind you of your sound principles.

- Emma: I feel offended by your insinuation that I could possibly *not* take it like a man. Whimpering is not my style, so hopefully, your lust for German disciplinarians will remain intact. If you ever want a sample from me, I'll gladly make you whimper.

- Smallhanded: your vile sadistic voyeurism is going to be satisfied. There will be an "official witness" in the shape of a camera filming the whole thing, and the readers will get to see the video.

Re: "Emma: I feel offended by your insinuation that I could possibly *not* take it like a man. Whimpering is not my style, so hopefully, your lust for German disciplinarians will remain intact. If you ever want a sample from me, I'll gladly make you whimper."

{smiles from Thailand] :) mmm will post something appropriate in my blog soon. As for threats of some Deutsch discipline to tame this oh so sweet English Rose, bring it on Eurovision style, cameras et al :)!!

Being Sir Sexy Cruiser ... I think Niki should have those feeling ... and she right! ...I am voting (D )... Being the #1 bdsm trainer in Vegas ...You do not make fun of spankee or femdom on your or her blog .... Sure there could be fun and games ... But, this is not kinky fun ...but remember, its also her profession and choice to be top or bottom ...and now it time for her to top you.

I will vote for "A". I myself tried to get Niki off to Siberia for a shoot with a nude punitive PT site out there somewhere. I have seen Siberia. From an airplane. Ok it's big, but not THAT big. She didn't go yet. But what is wrong with Siberia?Now let me count remarks from Siberia among the 53 entries.

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