I'm a professional bartender for hire in Washington D.C. - I bartend for private parties, events, weddings, ragers, bar mitzvahs, whatever you got...
In this blog, I talk about my experiences behind the bar, bartending tips and tricks, great drinks, alcohol reviews and more. ENJOY!

Pages

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Whiskey Stones

Whiskey Stones

Picture this. You are at a fancy soiree. Someone breaks out
an 18 year scotch. Your fellow party goers are impressed and you get
excited.You love scotch.That person starts pouring.You’re lucky enough to get a glass for
yourself.You take a sip and it’s warm.
This elegant drink burns.It’s hard to
enjoy so you start to feel guilty. You think you should love it but you don’t. You cave and turn to the person next to you
who also got some, “hey, do you know where I can get some ice?” while making a
subtle gesture towards your glass.

They quickly glance at you and then your glass. You hear a
forced “dunno”. You see a flicker of judgment and slight disgust in their face.
You understand. You’re trying to hide your embarrassment.You know that you shouldn’t have done
it.You tried to put ice in nice
liquor.

For those of you that have had a similar experience, you
know that it is, in technical bartender terms, bullshit.It sucks when you have great liquor in your
cup but it’s warm- like heated up warm.Or tastes too boozy.Or just
plain burns.So you suck it up and drink
it anyway, pretending to enjoy it.Or
you put ice in the glass and everyone judges you.Either one blows.It happens to the best of us.It’s happened to me.Has it ever happened to you?Be proud.

Thanks to modern science and industrialization, I have found
an answer.And I am sure that I am late
to the party in hearing about this miraculous invention.They are whiskey stones.Have you ever used these?They rock, no pun intended.

You can use them instead of ice.They slightly chill your drink, taking away
some of the burn, making it smoother and actually open up the flavor of your
whiskey, bourbon or scotch.They also
make you a less likely target to be judged, maybe even admired for your ingenuity.

By slightly cooling your drink, it gets more delicious and
easier to drink without watering down or “ruining” the liquor.When you try to do this with ice, you are
accused of being a “bitch”.But no such
accusation can be used if you use whiskey stones.You are all of a sudden cutting edge. A
connoisseur.Trendy even.

However, avoiding scorn and looking like the superhero of getting
crunk off of fancy shit isn’t the only reason to abandon the ice and drop a
couple of whiskey stones into your drink.It really does suck when your drink is watery towards the end.Whiskey stones actually make your drink taste
better. As I mentioned above, they help to unlock your fancy bourbon’s
flavor.That and you have to put up with
less shit from others.It’s win-win.

So, if you really want to make the high quality liquor fan
in your family (or me) really happy during this holiday season, buy some
whiskey stones for that person. A great place to buy these is a store in Dupont
in DC called tabletop.Check it out.