City Tells Ice Cream Trucks To Keep That Infernal Racket Down

The majestic, many-colored beast glides past, emitting only its seductive siren song to lure its targets out of their homes and make them come running, screaming like sugar-starved banshees while yelling “MOM I NEED MONEY FOR THE ICE CREAM TRUUUUCK!” But not everyone is a fan of ice cream truck songs like “Turkey in the Straw” in the summertime months, including one city’s council, which voted to silence the mobile bringers of cold, delicious joy.

The Long Beach, Calif., City Council unanimously voted to draft a proposal that would require ice cream truck operators to turn down the volume on their speakers while coasting around. And if they’re parked at the beach, or in a neighborhood or heck, anywhere in the city, the music has to be totally shut off, reports ABCNews.com.

But then how will the kids know when to come rocketing out their front doors? Beyond ice cream radar implants for every child, we can’t even begin to think of other logical ideas to ensure ice cream delivery to mouths.

If this sounds like a bunch of grumpiness, one councilman says it’s because residents are ticked off at the noise.

“When you get a complaint from your constituents you try to address it. It sounds kind of petty, but I’ll try to make it very simple and easy,” he said. “Let’s try to get along with our neighbors. Just be fair to the city that lets you in.”

He says his office has gotten about 200 complaints over noise pollution, all pegged on ice cream trucks. One vendor says he gets it, especially as there are too many fish trolling for prey in the sea.

“Some people are old and retired and don’t really like the music. Some people are just tired of the music. The problem is there are too many trucks and too many people working these streets,” he said, adding that he’s a bit worried his sales will go down as a result of the restrictions.

“It will affect our business for sure because the kids really like the music. I’ve worked for 20 years in this business. And each year is hard enough to survive,” he said.

If you don’t have the melody (because who knows the words?) to “Turkey in the Straw” in your head right now I am sorry your childhood was so awful and would like to buy you a firecracker popsicle.