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Monday, June 27, 2011

If you have ever googled "trying to conceive," you have seen the bajillion article headings for "trying to conceive a boy" or "trying to conceive a girl." You have seen the Chinese lunar calendars claiming to predict the sex of your baby with 99% accuracy. You have heard about alkaline versus acidic environments for weeding out x- or y-chromosomes, depending on your preference. And you know more than you want to know about old wive's myths and the Shettles Method on positions and timing. But with all these ways of "choosing" the sex of our babies, are we setting ourselves up for disappointment?

Growing up, I was the second child of four, second in line to my older brother. I adored my brother. I worshipped the very ground he walked on. It's no surprise that I met my husband through my older brother and his network of friends. So I always envisioned having a little boy first - an older brother to any siblings that may follow. So I was a little stunned - and a bit disappointed - when we found out we were having a girl first.

Now that Nate and I are trying for a second child, I feel as though there is even more pressure to have a boy, giving us one of each. And any children beyond that would be wonderful surprises, because it wouldn't matter! We'd have at least one of each! So that brings me to choosing the sex.

My "lunar calendar" doesn't predict any boys for me in the next six months. My window to conceive, be pregnant, and take maternity leave does not allow me to wait to conceive based on the lunar calendar. Which just seems insane to me anyway. The Shettles Method would have me eating steak and bananas for the next few months. I'm a cake and coffee girl myself, I don't see myself ensuring an alkaline environment.

And what if I do go out of my way through diet and timing to "ensure" a boy, only to find out at 20 weeks that it's a second girl? A second little girl would be wonderful. We have so much fun with Laura, and it would be so neat to have sisters so close in age. The clothing and bathroom sharing might be a disaster, but their friendship could also be a beautiful thing. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment over something I can't control. It would not be fair to me or the baby. A friend reminded me this weekend: We get what we get, and we don't get upset. I have three weeks left on my pill packet. When I go off, I'm going to just go with the flow. I'm not going crazy with temping, weird positions, red meat, bananas or lunar charts. I don't think I have it in me to care whether we get a boy or a girl - just as long as it's healthy!

Have any of you tried any of the "methods" for choosing one sex over the other? What were your results?