Self-esteem needs to come in all sizes

Confession: I very recently joined a gym. My motives were simple; mostly to have a cathartic space in my day when I can stew over life’s events and burn off the mild guilt of my mid-day slice of pizza at the same time. Also because I really enjoy swimming, as you get to pretend you’re in the Mediterranean and how is that not good for the soul? The fact that attractive trainer guys just happen to hang out in and around the aforementioned gym is simply an unforeseen fringe benefit. Unforeseen, I say!

This leads me onto the main body of my fitness-related reflection; how we attach our sense of identity and self worth to our body image. I really don’t understand this. I’m not one to talk about how hard it can be to experience real, personality-altering insecurity, because though I went through the awkward adolescent stages of all over bodily and visual grossness, I’ve never hated any part of myself as such. I feel satisfactorily inconspicuous among my friends and peers. I know that I’m healthy and that’s a big thing.However, there is an obsession in today’s society with physical fitness. It seems that if you want to be seen as successful, mature, and in control of your life, you have to be a size six in some people’s books. I’m not calling this completely moronic. There’s logic to the idea that if you’re in control of your body, you’re the kind of person who manages your life well, right? However, is this to say that plus-sized women cannot be considered successful or indeed attractive? If you agree with this, I refer you to Adele, Nigella Lawson, Queen Latifah. Observe: curviness and awesomeness are certainly not mutually exclusive factors. Did you know about that plus-sized model a couple of years ago who was eviscerated in the press for ‘condoning obesity’? It made me want to weep. This girl was a size 14 or 16 as I recall. That’s around the upper end of the average in this country. She was young, healthy and beautiful, with a good burgeoning career. But people hated her for being fat. It’s terrible but true.

Recently, what concerns me is the flux of bloggers and instagrammers we have experienced bombarding teenage girls with pictures of their athletic bodies and calorie-free meals. Many of their followers have admitted to feeling bad about themselves and their bodies after seeing these images. In the words of a professional nutritionist ‘these people are preaching perfection and that’s just not right or realistic.’ Be healthy, yes, but don’t be so controlling over your diet you end up with crippling anxiety over maintaining your schedule, and don’t cut out a whole food group that is vital to your diet. The argument about this advice and the accountability of the advice-givers aside, why are we so susceptible to this criticism of our bodies? And why does it make us feel we are less worthwhile as people? It’s wrong. I’m not qualified to pick apart the psychology of the modern young woman, nor to identify the flaws in society that have made us this way. But I will say this: to my understanding, if you are healthy, and you like the way you look enough to be content in your own skin, then you are perfect. Because that’s the criteria. And if you aren’t happy in yourself, maybe you should have a little examination of the reasons why, and recognize whether they are in fact falsities flung at you by ignorant narrow-minded fools. I’m pretty certain they are.