2009-07-26

Easy, he was Candidate Monkey still in those days, and he was in London England's Horse Guard Parade (a section of Horse Guard Park). He toured the area, got a bunch of cheers from anti-American Brits, and went away.

But he wasn't the only one in Horse Guard Park on July 26, 2008.

Somebody else was there as well.

Somebody far more intelligent.

Somebody far more qualified to be the U.S. President.

Somebody who also doesn't have an American birth certificate.

Me.

One year ago today I walked Horse Guard Parade. A few hours later, Barack the Copycat showed up. There goes the neighbourhood, I suppose.

Bonus Feynmand & Coulter's Love Child meets the 2008 Presidential Election event: On July 20th 2008, a few days earlier, both John McCain and I were at the Yankees/Athletics game.

Hello Neil and Buzz, I am talking to you by telephone from the Oval Room at the White House, and this certainly has to be the most historic telephone call ever made from the White House.

I just can’t tell you how proud we all are of what you have done. For every American this has to be the proudest day of our lives, and for people all over the world I am sure that they, too, join with Americans in recognizing what an immense feat this is.Because of what you have done the heavens have become a part of man’s world, and as you talk to us from the Sea of Tranquility, it inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and tranquility to earth.

For one priceless moment in the whole history of man all the people on this earth are truly one—one in their pride in what you have done and one in our prayers that you will return safely to earth.- President Richard M. Nixon

Man has conquered the moon and widened his horizons. The spaceship Apollo 11 is touching down on the surface of the moon and the first human beings are setting foot on it. The landing on the moon is the culminating achievement of a great scientific effort. That which could be captured only by the boldest imagination has now become a reality. With this historic event a new era in the life of mankind begins, and further achievements in the space world are certain to follow. We express our admiration to the valiant astronauts of Apollo 11 and to all those whose work made the conquest of space possible.- Archbishop Makarios, President of Cyprus

May He whose glory the heavens declare grant that mankind may grow in the knowledge of His purposes as we probe into the secrets of His universe.- Hugh Lawson Shearer, Prime Minister of Jamaica

2009-07-08

A prehistoric squirrel has a problem: he's got a fabulous acorn, but how to bury it? The ground is frozen solid, and the twitchy little feller scampers from spot to spot in the vast icy wilderness, issuing baffled grunts through his snaggleteeth and growing ever more frenzied in his efforts to jam the thing into the earth. Finally he jumps up and down on it, hammering it into the frost, and setting off an avalanche.

Doesn't that sound like a good summary of the 2008 Presidential Election?

That's as quick a summary on President Monkey's campaign I can think of. The Democrats and their media handlers reaction to Sarah Palin?

baffled grunts through his snaggleteeth and growing ever more frenzied in his efforts to jam the thing into the earth

And finally, what's the impact on the economy of Obama's election win?

Finally he jumps up and down on it, hammering it into the frost, and setting off an avalanche.

Hammering government money into General Motors and the banks and whoever's in line this week is certainly at risk of setting off an avalanche of economic ruin.

So how does the article end?

You know where it's going to go and, sure enough, pretty soon the mammoth, sloth and sabre-tooth are all helping each other out because 'that's what you do in a herd'. And, even though the sloth concedes 'we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen', that doesn't matter: just because you're an alternative herd doesn't mean you don't embody the best in traditional herd values. Is it a pitch for gay parenting? Probably. Is it anti-hunting? Definitely. 'If we save the baby, who do you think he's gonna hunt?' asks the sabre-tooth. 'Maybe if we save him he won't hunt us, ' suggests the sloth. But the tedious PC overlay is strangely poignant here, as if the characters are freighted with a sense of their own impending extinction. Yeah, I know that's not what most parents are looking for in a kids' cartoon, but it's something to think about in between the neurotic squirrel sequences.