Be Queen For A Day

When my friend Karen asked if she could send me Queen For A Day to consider for Daily Grommet, I was intrigued by the title alone (what woman wouldn't be?). As soon as I started reading it, I knew it would be a great fit for us -- it's all about making your birthday into a celebration of you. I sent Linda Sacha (the author) some questions and she not only answered them, she's offering a signed copy to one of our lucky readers.

I've always been a firm believer that your birthday is YOUR day, and I love how what you're describing in the book takes it past mere acknowledgment of the occasion. What inspired you to turn your birthday into an opportunity to be "queen for a day"?

Pain! Emotional discomfort is a great motivating factor if one uses it to make something new happen. This took me awhile. I was in my mid-thirties and realized my birthday had disappeared. I always had simple, yet joyful childhood celebrations where you were clear that it was YOUR day – a good cupcake and a hug can do the trick. As I aged, moved away from family, and no one was in charge of my celebration, I let it slip away. I now know that it was a statement of how I was feeling about my world and myself. As I slowly but surely emerged from being a birthday pouter, blamer, and shamer, (everyone should just KNOW what I want and need), I got hooked. Hooked on self-perpetuated happiness. So what started as, “Oh yeah, I used to like my birthday” slid nicely into, “Ok, I’m 50 - could we get this party started, please?” Which, of course, only a queen, a woman who owns her own life and happiness, can proclaim.

Have you found that your family has been fully supportive of you being "queen for a day," or did it take time for them to adjust to the idea.

My husband is so darn relieved that I am a Queen! When he first read, Queen for a Day, he looked up with tears and said, “I had no idea.” And there you have it. The things that we often take so personally are really a matter of showing up for ourselves and asking for what we want. Loved ones don’t enjoy guessing what makes us happy – they’re eager to participate in a plan that pleases us.

I’d say it took ME time to adjust to the idea. It has been an ongoing personal evolution that totally jazzes me.

Why do you think women have such a hard time celebrating themselves?

I believe we’re wired as natural nurturers, so our first thought is often the happiness of others. We wouldn’t dream of not celebrating our child’s day of birth, yet we put ourselves at the bottom of our to-do lists. Then we throw in past programming about not getting a big head and top it off with a slice of, “Oh that’s just selfish.” Selfishness doesn’t apply when it comes to celebrating one’s self. As we fill our internal bank account with acts of love and nurturing, we have so much more to give. It’s a total win – win.

Some people might think that orchestrating a large celebration for their own birthday may be more work than the payoff - what would you say to them?

Don’t do it! Our birthdays are as unique as we are. “Celebration” is a personal term that is defined by each woman and her unique heart’s desires. That’s what so honoring about being a Queen – you do it your way.

It was very clear in my interviews with women that what was joyful for one gal was repulsive to another. The definition of celebration is, “The action of marking one’s pleasure.” Whether it’s a walk on the beach with your best friend, eating a taco with your child or dancing on a table, it’s all about acknowledging your day of birth in your own way.

What has the response to the book been so far? Do you find that people are excited to follow your example?

I am thrilled with the national response. My vision is women around the world celebrating themselves like never before, beginning with their birthday. That begins with each of us being one hair happier each year with how our personal celebration is going. So every book signing, sale, email of jubilation, or crown photo I receive, reminds me that we’re all in this together. Women want to own their hearts while they share it with others. Many women have told me that after reading the book, they feel like they got permission and a plan!

I know that I'll use your book as a handy reference for my next birthday - please tell our readers why they need/deserve to have this book in their hands.

The greatest gift we can give the world is the gift of loving ourselves more deeply and dearly. Our birthday is our annual personal anniversary where we have the opportunity to pause for just a moment, adjust our crown, and know we matter. Queen for a Day is an invitation to be the supreme ruler of your own happiness. What could be juicier?

Thanks so much, Linda!

General contest rules: To enter, you must be a U. S. resident, and at least 18 years of age and you must leave a comment or question on today’s post. No purchase necessary. The winner will be randomly selected and will receive a win a copy of Queen for a Day. Employees, contractors, and the families of employees and contractors of Daily Grommet, Inc. are not eligible to enter. You are not eligible to win if you have received a prize or giveaway from Daily Grommet in the last six months. Void where prohibited. Contest will run from 8:00 am EST through 10:00 pm EST April 8, 2010.

About Angella
Angella is a mom of three, a chartered accountant (she's Canadian, eh?), and she posts prolifically to her site Dutch Blitz. She's busy, yes, but wouldn't have it any other way.

Comments

Jill
Says:

Just what I needed to think about right now. My 41st birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I need to really celebrate this year. I didn't make a big fuss last year, busy with the kids as usual. This year I need to remember to enjoy my day! Thanks for the reminder.

Lori
Says:

I used to love my birthday, too... My day for me! All about me day, right? Then I met my husband (this is not a bad thing of course...) He and I share the same date of birth. This was the 1st thing we learned about one another... the beginning of fate taking a hand?! Anyway, No longer is our birthdate MY day... it's both of our days. I need to get my day back. I think I need this book, for enlightenment for both of us. Darn, I'll give him a day to be King, if I can have my birthday back to be Queen. I'm even willing to compromise and take a day before or after to celebrate my day! Heck, we should all be celebrated, right? This year he gets our day, as it is his 40th, but I want the day after. Thanks for waking me up to realize my true wanting for my day to be for me!

Sally Russell
Says:

I love this blog post. I always had problems keeping the attention totally on me for the day. Too many other siblings who needed attention. I have gotten better and on my 50th birthday, celebrated for the entire month of June.

Letha Dolowitz Chichester
Says:

What a great idea. I can't wait to get my copy. Me being a woman, and wired for nurturing, of course, thought, first of how many of my friends would dearly love (or at least NEED) this book because they have come to dread their birthday. I love a big celebration on my birthday, and everyone in my life knows it. I always make a big deal of birthdays-after all they are the day you were born to the planet. What an event. I have a friend and SHE SENDS HER MOTHER a bouquet of Flowers on her own birthday-not her mother's birthday, but her own. What a great idea. But yet, making yourself Queen For A Day is really is an idea that's day has come-it's gutsy and I love it, and we need to be reminded that we deserve it.

Dana Laffin
Says:

What a lovely idea for a book. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

LInda Sacha
Says:

Thank you Daily Grommet readers for your insightful birthday comments! I'm the author of Queen for a Day and nothing makes me happier than to hear your feedback on being inspired to celebrate YOU more!

Become a Facebook Queen for a Day Fan www.facebook.com/queenforaday and begin to celebrate yourself even more this moment!

Eager to personalize a book for the lucky winner!

Thank you - Daily Grommet you are an inspiration to us all.

Pat
Says:

Linda's book is truly inspiring. I find myself enjoying each birthday as a true celebration. It also has helped me be very vigilant about getting cards and wishes off to my friends on their special day.

Lore Gray
Says:

What great book to help us remember we should celebrate and help others to celebrate their way! It's never too late to start.

Nikki Sweet
Says:

This year I'm teetering on the edge of another decade in my life. The concepts in Queen For A Day will certainly provide the needed soft place to land, as I reclaim my deserving crown. Let the celebration begin!

Barbara
Says:

"Our" friend Pat told me about your original book, I loved it and gifted it to my Fab Five Friends the day each wore our traveling birthday crown.This year they all will receive a second, even better edition!!

Edie
Says:

I gave the original book to my friends when we shared a clebration on our 65th!! It was the best gift I could have offered.And it was well received. I also gave it to my daughters. Now I am going to forward tihs BLOG to them all. Cheeerio! Party on, royal gals!!

Jeanne
Says:

Edie - I love your comment. You're so right, this is definitely a multigenerational experience that's best when shared! Can't wait to get this to my mom and my sister. Thanks for passing us along to your girls - looking forward to meeting them too!

Angella
Says:

Thanks to everyone for sharing your enthusiasm for the book! I ran the numbers through Random.org and came up with #4. Letha - congratulations! I'll email you to get your address. :)

Terri
Says:

I read somewhere that most craved emotion of people is the desire to be appreciated. What better day to be celebrated and loved than on your birthday. Everyone deserves a celebration. I vote for Letha #4 as well ... Now I'm looking forward to my birthday to celebrate my Mom. I'm not sure I'll wait to send her the book.