Saturday, December 31, 2011

A CRACK HEAD ALMOST RAN ME OVER OUTSIDE OF CVS

A few months ago I got a dose of “WTF just happened?!”

It was a normal day and I had left my house to run some errands. With CVS in sight, I was strolling across the parking lot minding my own business like I always do. I get on the sidewalk and hear an obnoxious car engine blaring behind me. I figured it was some high school hoodlum showing off his muffler, so I ignored it.

Within a few seconds, the noise had gotten extremely close to me. Startled, I quickly turned around, assuming it was one of my friends trying to get my attention. Several of my buddies have souped-up cars, so I figured it was one of them that spotted me.

Instead of seeing a familiar face, a crack head in her mid-fifties nearly plows into me with her beat up car. She drove the left side of her car up onto the sidewalk and was literally a foot away from hitting me. The car comes to a screeching halt as she sat tilted in her car at a 30 degree angle.

Just wait, if that wasn’t crazy enough. The conversation takes the cake…

Crack Head: "Excuse me! Excuse me sir!"

This woman was a hot mess along with the worst smoker’s voice I had ever heard.

Me: Umm hi?

Crack Head: "Will you please help me out and lend me some money? I just got out of the hospital because of my cigarette addiction. I can’t afford my medication" blah blah blah

Me: I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t have any money.

Crack Head: She snaps back and goes “Give me some of your money!”

This bitch had the NERVE to start giving me attitude and demand I give her money!

Me: I'll give you some advice. Maybe you should stop smoking cigarettes and you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Crack Head: "How dare you tell me what to do you disrespectful young man!"

Me: You’re a nasty old bitch

A combobulated slew of curse words and odd grumbling noises poured out of her mouth as she revved her car up and sped off down the road.

Welcome!

I'm a kid at heart, figuring out life and having epiphanies along the way. This blog documents my journey over the past seven years, as I grow from the shy, closeted guy I once was, into a complete badass. Website: jeremymannino.com