Dear Picky Coworker, Watching you order and customize every aspect of your entrée even going off menu makes us fear what the staff will do to our food. Keep doing this and we'll spit on your plate ourselves. Sincerely, Your Tablemates.

Today in the car my nephews taught me that SlugBug and Perdidle weren't the only car ride punch games. There's also CruiserBruiser, RamBam, MustangBang, and ChevyShoves. So I made up the HumrBumr and the Haiyundai Chop. Uncles can do that you know.

"In the libray by Prof. Plum with a wrench!!..No?! Um- Then in the Den by Col. Mustard with a Candlestick!! No?! Umm..."-said our political leaders who don't have a f*cking Clue as to what's killing our economy or how to fix it.