Please for the love-of-God how do I fix this problem where now 1Password 7 won't even let me "add a login" anymore.
I've since disassociated the account from the online login which was supposed to be a free trial period but the app WILL NOT revert back to normal settings anymore.

It sounds like you are running the version of 1Password from the App Store as it only allows for syncing via your 1Password account. If this is the case can you try installing the version from the website? You can find the download here: https://1password.com/downloads

I'm really sorry for all the frustration. If you'd like to go back to using the 1Password 6 license that you previously used, you can download a copy of 1Password 6 under Using an older computer? here: