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It's a worthwhile discussion. Recoil is definitely something to consider and keep in mind.

When I say "what shoots best", I'm talking mostly about accuracy. But recoil is part of it. When I was choosing 45 rounds I tested several, most of them the difference was negligible, but it's still there. As it turned out, the round that was most consistently accurate was also the least recoil.

In the fight you probably won't notice such things but it's still worth examining to see what works best for you.

One example that comes to mind...I tried some of that composite ammo from Ruger (I forget who makes it but it was marketed by Ruger). Bullets were very light and fast for 45, I thought that might offer a significant difference in the recoil. But I found that recoil was very snappy and the rounds weren't very accurate for me. As always YMMV.

It gets expensive but it's worth it to buy several brands and shoot them back to back. Film yourself if you can. You should notice some difference in recoil on film if not in your hands.

Our agency carried 230 grain Speer Gold Dots for years, then went to the 185 grain Speer Gold Dots two years ago....we're now switching back to 230 grain. We've learned Speer is dropping the 185 grain for lack of sales; the Range liked the 185 grain better but we did have a lot of bullet setback in the case that we didn't have in the 230 grain.

Personally I like .45 recoil, ya it's a bit bigger than 9mm or .40 but it's also..... gushier. it's like getting hit with a wet feather pillow compared to a dowel rod. I can't shoot it as fast as 9mm but I find it much more pleasant.

As far as what to pick I really have no preference and haven't noticed any real difference between weights and brands.

Personally I like .45 recoil, ya it's a bit bigger than 9mm or .40 but it's also..... gushier. it's like getting hit with a wet feather pillow compared to a dowel rod. I can't shoot it as fast as 9mm but I find it much more pleasant

No one other than the OP has mentioned the Barnes TAC-XP 185 grn solid copper.
Disclaimer: I am a loyal former Barnes employee.

This is load was specifically developed for slightly reduced recoil with standard velocity from short barrels. It is accurate and reliable.

The key is in terminal performance. Becauss of 100% retained weight and consistent balanced expansion into a propeller rather than a mushroom, the bullet tracks straight and penetrates deep—at standard velocity.

Its pricey at $1.25 per round, but you aren’t shooting much of it often. Sounds like just what you want.

Many other loads are good, but I think this comes closest to matching your desires. At least try a couple of boxes.

"... men and women of your armed forces America having signed a blank check to the protection of the American people and to the defense of our constitution, a check payable with their very lives, your military stands ready and confident to defend this country, this experiment in democracy.” Secretary of Defense James Mattis, 9/11/17

No one other than the OP has mentioned the Barnes TAC-XP 185 grn solid copper.
Disclaimer: I am a loyal former Barnes employee.

This is load was specifically developed for slightly reduced recoil with standard velocity from short barrels. It is accurate and reliable.

The key is in terminal performance. Becauss of 100% retained weight and consistent balanced expansion into a propeller rather than a mushroom, the bullet tracks straight and penetrates deep—at standard velocity.

Its pricey at $1.25 per round, but you aren’t shooting much of it often. Sounds like just what you want.

Many other loads are good, but I think this comes closest to matching your desires. At least try a couple of boxes.

I don't remember the brand but I used to run a 100gr 9mm pressed copper frangible round that performed amazingly. I bought a gross of it for training but being in an apartment I also used it as my go to home defense round.