Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/aleche35/boards.sethroberts.net/Sources/Load.php(183) : runtime-created function on line 3This little piggy went nose-clip-clip-clip all the way home!

Heidi! So wonderful to know you're doing so very well. Of course I want to run out and get a hoop. I figure it can keep the weights, the jump rope and all the other various gizmos, books and DVDs company! :lol: But seriously, a hoop sounds fun! And low impact (see jump rope :roll: )

Your poem was wonderful. Well crafted, full of heart and soul. And I feel honored to be among those you felt comfortable sharing it with.

Pinkmug, thanks so much for sharing that beautiful poem and for your nice compliments about mine. I agree with nougat -- it's touching and sad in a nostalgic way. Gave me chills and made me well up with emotion to read it.

Outy! So glad you're back. I've missed your vibrant colorful energy here on the forum. I love what you said about healing with your mom.

I've forgiven her. Granted, I don't live with her. I'm cleansed, not stupid! But I somehow let go of all the anger, pain, resentment, etc. And honestly, I did it for me. I am so much happier and healthier for it. And even though my mother hasn't really changed all that much, our relationship has done a complete 180. She no longer has any power over me. Not because I stand up and fight (did that for the better part of my childhood) but because I simply stepped aside, out of her way.

Very powerful. I have a relationship with someone who has OCD that I could use to step aside and out of the way more.

Also, I can relate to that feeling of never being done that you wrote about in your journal. I guess that there are levels of doneness. I'm here in the I made it section and am happy with my body and weight. Yet, the wanting more and better continues with endless refinements. The better I look, the more I want. But I think that's a good thing because it means that the looking better is in close reach. Before I didn't even bother to want, because having a thin good looking body was an impossible dream.

Logged

It took 1 year of nose clippingto lose 20 pounds (from about 140 to 120)Dropped from size 8-10 to size 4I'm 5' 4.5"

Heidi, you're doing awesome. And I think we all always want bigger/better/more. It's human nature. You have a healthy perspective, though. Look at you in the "I MADE IT" section! And thank goodness; I only come here to visit ya. :lol:

My downfall in the past was often the all-or-nothing syndrome. If I gained a few pounds I'd either refuse to eat or sleep until manic exercise and deprivation forced them off me. Or I'd think, "Who the F cares," and proceed to gain another 10, 20, 50 because I'd already let myself go. Not sure that makes sense to most people. Like I said, I'm an addict. Both my responses were DRAMA to the extreme. I truly hope I can be like you when I grow up; take it in stride, continue to strive and be graciously grateful for what I have. And as I've posted before, I think that balance is possible for me with SLD.

oooh outy i understand exactly with the ""Who the F cares," and proceed to gain another 10, 20, 50 because I'd already let myself go. "- when i get on the scales and its unbelievably up again i hear my self say 'in for a penny in for a pound' and i head for the things i like to eat and should not...

sigh

now i'm must be the least 'dramatic' person ever ...so i can only conclude that i AM a food addict....

Compliments to Heidi totally deserved! wish you could share some more.

On "never being done" - it reminds me, I used to have a theory that people with weight/food issues are usually perfectionists. (I know I am) Don't you think that this fits in with "never being done"? Maybe perfectionism prevents the feeling of accomplishment and keeps us going on, or rather up and down.

Logged

A calorie is just a bug that lives in the closet and shrinks your clothes overnight

I am currently taking care of an elderly woman who has pretty much no desire or preferences. She doesn't care if she eats or not, doesn't care about what she wears, and is content even if she sits on the couch all day. My job is to convince her to eat a little bit, and convince her to get dressed and go out for a short walk. I also try to engage her in conversation. She doesn't seem to care if she talks or not. I am always thrilled when she has a tiny request for something. It really has me mulling over Buddhist concepts of no desire being desirable or not. Definitely this woman is a spiritual teacher for me. But I'm not sure of what I'm learning yet!

Outy, you have done fantastic, too! I bet that one day you will be posting in the "I Made It" section. Perhaps it will be sooner than you think.

Quote

wish you could share some more

Yeah, me too. This forum has such a nice cozy feel -- like chatting in someone's living room. Yet, it takes place in a public square and lots of folks eavesdrop in on the conversations. So in terms of sharing poetry (or pictures of myself) I have to be ready to share them publicly. Once you put them out there you can't take them back. A number of people have suggested that I submit my poetry to magazines for publication. I just haven't gotten around to actually doing it. If I had poetry that had already been published somewhere than I would feel more comfortable sharing it. I guess I'm being protective of it, until it finds its way in the world. Or maybe someday I'll be more like you Pink, and feel free about sharing pics and things.

Quote

On "never being done" - it reminds me, I used to have a theory that people with weight/food issues are usually perfectionists. (I know I am) Don't you think that this fits in with "never being done"? Maybe perfectionism prevents the feeling of accomplishment and keeps us going on, or rather up and down.

I definitely lean towards being a perfectionist, but I think that I've learned to temper my perfectionism with gratitude and fulfillment. I feel like I'm striving for something that is in close reach, but I'm also enjoying where I'm at and what I've attained. Perhaps it's about finding the right balance between desire and contentment...

Logged

It took 1 year of nose clippingto lose 20 pounds (from about 140 to 120)Dropped from size 8-10 to size 4I'm 5' 4.5"

I am currently taking care of an elderly woman who has pretty much no desire or preferences. She doesn't care if she eats or not, doesn't care about what she wears, and is content even if she sits on the couch all day. My job is to convince her to eat a little bit, and convince her to get dressed and go out for a short walk. I also try to engage her in conversation. She doesn't seem to care if she talks or not. I am always thrilled when she has a tiny request for something. It really has me mulling over Buddhist concepts of no desire being desirable or not. Definitely this woman is a spiritual teacher for me. But I'm not sure of what I'm learning yet!

When my gramps first started showing signs of his Alzheimers, all he wanted to do was sit in his chair all day and do nothing.Sometimes he wouldn't even get dressed.

Logged

Lost 98.6lbs since 3-17-2007 Dwelling on the negative only increases it's power

Heidi, I hesitated much before posting any pics. I know exactly what you mean.Don't know if you noticed but I never posted pics of my children.... just for security.

Karky, exactly what happened with my mom: sitting all day, witouth moving for hours. I had to rebuke her for not getting dressed. Not even on Sundays!

This is different from Buddhist not having desires. Also, Tao's concept of not doing anything and the work is done by itself. Action in inaction - "wu wei" - is a choice, while in Alzheimer there is no choice. The brain just doesn't respond!

Logged

A calorie is just a bug that lives in the closet and shrinks your clothes overnight

Well in his defense, seems to me (this was several yrs ago) that he got put on Paxil or somesuch antidepressant to help combat this by the doctors at the VA hospital, and I think that can be a side effect. (zombie-fied)

Logged

Lost 98.6lbs since 3-17-2007 Dwelling on the negative only increases it's power

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am , regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Logged

A calorie is just a bug that lives in the closet and shrinks your clothes overnight

Karky, did your gramps come out of that state or did he stay that way? I've seen too many old folks zombie-fied on meds or out of it from Alzheimers. The woman I take care of now was over medicated for awhile. She has severe memory loss but is very intelligent and with it. Not at all senile. According to her family she's always been very tolerant and accepting with few preferences. She did tons of volunteer work when she was younger. She seems genuinely content.

Pinkmug, I'm glad to know that you also hesitated around posting pictures. You seem courageous in putting yourself out. Of course I don't even have any recent pictures. I did see an old picture of myself and was a bit shocked to see a visual of how much more I use to weigh. Weightloss is always more impressive in pictures than in words.

Logged

It took 1 year of nose clippingto lose 20 pounds (from about 140 to 120)Dropped from size 8-10 to size 4I'm 5' 4.5"

I believe he was taking it, or something like it, up until he had to go into the nursing home in 2006.His Alzheimer's was making him very aggressive and combative. I don't know what he is taking now, but he still gets very mean every time they fiddle with his meds.Which they do every so often, because he is on Medicaid and the state doesn't like paying for anything but bare essentials. :x So I think they lower his dose every so often.I can tell if they have when I go because he needles my dad incessantly and says very mean things.

Logged

Lost 98.6lbs since 3-17-2007 Dwelling on the negative only increases it's power