Abby: Refusal to file taxes relationship

Published 5:30 am, Monday, April 12, 2010

Dear Abby:

It has been eight years since my boyfriend, “Grant,” filed taxes. His refusal to file a tax return has caused many arguments between us.

Grant's parents got wind of it one year and gave him money to pay them off, but he spent the money to pay other bills. Grant is an only child. His parents often bail him out financially. This has begun to gnaw at me because I'm at the point where I'm thinking about marriage and children. I know we can't be married until he takes care of his tax problem.

How serious is it not paying your taxes? Is this something I should just ignore? I couldn't pay the bills if he was put in jail. Will this 30-something only child ever grow up?

By not filing, your boyfriend runs the risk of paying not only the taxes he owes, but penalties and interest as well.

You need to tell Grant he can get help from an enrolled agent to guide him through the process of filing back returns and, if necessary, setting up a payment schedule with the IRS. He can locate one in his area by accessing the NAEA Web site, www.naea.org.

If he doesn't have access to a computer, his local library can help him.

More than 10,000 enrolled agents are listed. Because they are the only tax specialists licensed to practice before the IRS, Grant can be assured the matter will be handled confidentially in the most competent way.

You should not ignore Grant's behavior. Protect yourself tax-wise by filing your return separately from his until the matter is settled.

Should you decide to marry him, file as “married, filing separately” so your incomes (at least in the eyes of the IRS) won't be viewed as one entity. Use the same enrolled agent or find one for yourself.

Do check out this reputable organization. Don't wait for your boyfriend to grow up to do it because at the rate he's maturing, that may never happen.