Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I am not a big meat eater, and always stick to healthy food as much as i can

I will be very good on my diet sometimes, however sometime i will go wild for food, haha...

I think that's the reason i can't maintain my weight very well : )

Honestly, i am not as care as i did in the past, i always had a very strict diet in order to get my dream body!! that's very bad and i often suffered from gastric pain!!

After i have done my uni project about eating disorder, i knew a lot about this mental illness!! besides it makes people look ill and ugly.... it can kill a life after periods of time!!

I suffered bulimia nervosa when i was young!! I always think i was fat!! I often ate a large amount of food in the same time, i felt regret and started to think a lot of method to get rid of those excess calories i have taken!! i starved myself the next day, consumed laxative pill or tea, i weighted myself 3 times a day, i over-exercised myself, i isolated myself and all i thought was only my weight and being skinny!!

My life was "grey"!! while there were still a lot of fun outside, especially at my age that time!! day after day my health was getting poor!! until one day I got a high fever and fainted!!

I was seriously ill and hospitalized for 2 weeks, i was so sick that time!! I can't do nothing beside staying in the hospital!! i was hospitalized for a week in Indonesia without any improvement!! Doctor said i was having a dengue fever!! but my blood test seemed negative!! it was weird!! my stomach got bigger and bigger day after day, i can't consume any food!! my stomach was just so bloated and I had 39 degree of fever for almost a week, up and down, never better!!

My parents was so worried and sent me to Singapore, i stayed there for 8 days!! doctor said i suffered from intestine infection because of my bad eating style. I need to be hospitalized otherwise it will be worsen. Doctor took my blood every day until i was so numb to feel the injection anymore. My health was just bad that time!! Only a 5 minutes walk, i felt dizzy and tired!! i lost a lot of weight during that time.

After i was home, i still need to take my infusion 3 times a day for a week, nurse came to my house everyday. My arm was seriously bruised!! and people outside was looking at me like an alien because there was an infusion needle on my arm... i supposed to rest at home but i just went everywhere : ) i can't sit down and do nothing..haha...Dad was the person who had worried me a lot!! i kept nagging by him that time, asked me to lay down and rest... i just sneaked out with mum or sister... :p

How much medical fee that my parents had spent just because i was joking around with my own health. I felt so bad!!

After that, i realized how important to be healthy!! I start to eat healthy and enjoying my food every mouthful...Food is a bless not a sin... I have been gaining a lot of weight since i came to Sydney, but i am not that worry about my weight as i did before!! i want to lose some weight now but i never starve myself like before!! Life is much happier and enjoyable!!