Important 2012 Festival International Do’s & Don’ts

Festival International is here once again!. Soon thousands of people from around the world will be descending upon downtown Lafayette in search of music and cheaply made bongos.

For long time veterans, festival is like a second home, but for those unfamiliar with the area, the thought of navigating unfamiliar streets packed with unusual sights and illegal smells could be a tad bit intimidating. I guess. Just go with me on this. Anyway, follow these important Festival International Do’s and Don’ts, because after all, they are important.

1. The Sun Is Your Enemy

Though it may have nothing on that all mighty hateful mistress that is the South Louisiana summer sun, the South Louisiana spring sun is no joke. It will put a hurt’n on you if you let your guard down.

Do: Wear sunscreen of substantial SPFness. Sunscreen will help the sun from turning you into an unhappy lobster. Also, sun screen kind of smells like pina colada, and ladies love pina colada.

Don’t: Coat yourself in cooking oil and run down the street naked.

Running down the street naked can result in a myriad of negative consequences.

1. If you happen to trip during your clothingless jaunt through festival streets you will have no protection for your tiddly bits against the unforgiving hot pavement.

2. You’ll probably get arrested.

3. Despite its inherent hilarity, naked running is generally frowned upon and will most likely result in your exclusion from future social activity.

4. Wicked sunburns.

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2. We I.D.

If you’re serious about getting your festival on right, I’ll go out on a limb and say that at some point you’re going to want to purchase an adult beverage. If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, I strongly recommend you bringing your ID along, because the people who check IDs at festival are mean, and they don’t trust anyone.

I know most people bring their I.D.s everywhere, but I’ve been around enough who don’t to know that it is important to remind everyone not to leave it in their car, their other pants, or at their mom’s house in Georgia (you know who you are).

Do: Bring your ID to get into bars and to partake in foamy fun.

Don’t: Shave down the edges of your ID and use it to poke people.

While shaving down the edges of your ID to a sharp point may sound like a good idea in theory, it’s really a poor choice on many levels. Here’s why:

1. Whether on Facebook or in real life, poking people is terrible behavior.

2. Think big picture. If you poke someone with a pencil, you at least have plausible deniability. It could have been anyone’s pencil. On the other hand, using a weapon that has your name and picture on it is a lot harder to get away with.

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3. This Ain’t No Petting Zoo

Pets are in general pretty cool. Dogs can retrieve things and dig holes, and cats can…well I’m not really sure what cats do. Anyway, people love their pets.

One of the most frequently asked festival question every year is, “can I bring my pets”.

The answer is no. Festival officials would rather you not bring your animals as they can be fairly indiscreet about where they do their business, and festival is definitely no place for business.

Do: Leave your pets at home.

Don’t: Allow your dogs to pull you around festival streets while you sit triumphantly in a wagon.

1. Okay, I can’t really think of good reasons why you shouldn’t get a dog team to pull you around the festival while you sit in a wagon. To me this would pretty much be the most epic thing I’ve ever seen. It is against the rules, and you may get arrested, but this is America. As Thomas Jefferson once said, ” If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so”.

2. But seriously, don’t do that. You’ll get arrested (even though it would be awesome.)

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Here are a few more general ones…

-Wear light colored clothing
-Drink lots of water
-Don’t at any time under any circumstance shout “Free Bird”!
-Wear comfortable shoes
-Shower daily
-Make your momma proud
-Drink responsibly (remember, a taxi is a whole lot cheaper than an ambulance)
-Buy a button!

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Those are a few important Festival International Do’s and Don’ts. Can you think of anymore? What advice to you have for festival first timers? Let us know in the comment section and be sure to “Like” this to insure these important tips with your friends.

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