KFed Gossip

It’s been the same broken record lately: I don’t want the tabloid attention, I don’t want to be followed around, leave me alone, don’t photograph me, don’t photograph my Firecrotch, I just want to live my life in private, I JUST WANT TO ACT. Funny the reaction you get when you get what you wish for… Because there’s Lilo at Planet Blue in Malibu on Saturday afternoon, surrounded by the usual throng of pappies, pretending to be pissy about the intrusion…until all of a sudden, when they get word that Britney and Paris have arrived, they immediately bail for the bigger prize, leaving Lilo alone and not just a little shellshocked at being passed up for, let’s face it, a much more titillating photo opp. Full Story

As if threatened by the tragic fate that has befallen the Original Federline, Junior seems hellbent on reminding the world at every photo opportunity that his wife is indeed carrying his seed – more appropriately known as the ticket to his riches, though if her dress is any indication, it doesn’t look like she’s any closer to cashing in on the Spelling fortune… Cheap. Full Story

It was always her abs, wasn’t it? At one point she said she did 1,000 crunches a day…until the Cheeto Era brought out the trash. Thank Goddess, as we all know, KFed is gone and the hotness is back…especially around the midsection. Just 2 and a half months after JJ’s arrival, even the obliques have returned, and if she’s already THIS defined after 10 weeks, can you imagine how fit she’ll be by the time the album is expected to drop in the Spring? Damn-uh. Full Story

So did you see the opening sequence? Believe me, she KNEW about the opening sequence. Just in case you missed it, here’s a quick recap: Jimmy Kimmel comes out, a few jokes, a few laughs, then he talks about Paris Hilton’s album sucking ass (she was in the audience but they didn’t pan to her – f&ck!) which leads him into a discussion about KFed’s album sucking even more ass and celebrating KFed’s final appearance ever at the AMAs, then he motions over to a KFed doppelganger who is lovered from the rafters into a huge box, sealed by attendants, driven to the ocean, dropped into the ocean, sinking slowly into the ocean, presumably left to drown forever and finally, he introduces the first presenter of the evening, “America’s Sweetheart, the new bachelorette”… Britney Spears. Full Story

TMZ is reporting that Britney and Kevin will reunite to make a statement debunking the existence of a sex tape, despite recent rumours to the contrary. Still waiting for the official wording but do you smell what I smell? Looks like that festering growth she used to call her husband has cashed in again – and yes, at the risk of having y’all accuse me of conspiracy mongering, I DO think she settled, I DO think she bought his silence, and I DO think he’ll continue threatening her with sh-t like this until he bleeds what he needs outta her bank account. Full Story

News of the World broke the story, now Us Weekly is reporting that a porn broker who believes in the tape’s existence has been contacted and says it could be worth up to $100 million, especially if the contents are as deliciously smutty as speculated. Apparently they go at it for an entire day and even engage in a little bit of chess. Full Story

Thanks to Colleen T for the link – click here, listen to what Kelly had to say about the “no Southern charm” of Maybe Gaybe Claybe who has more in common with KFed than just Walmart! Love, love, love. Full Story

Last week I received a piece of critique mail from someone defending Maybe Gaybe Claybe – saying that my comparison of Aiken to the KFed was unwarranted, that while KFed is a talentless golddigging piece of sh-t, Clay has worked hard and gives back and has already addressed repeatedly the question of his sexuality and as such, does not deserve to be lumped into the same Federline category. Full Story

Forget the ghetto weave – she more than makes up for it with that ass. Check out Britney from behind, girl got into shape fast, non? No love handles, no discernible jiggle, legs look lean, skin is reasonably spot-free now that she’s Fed-free, grinning happily with the re-hired Larry in Vegas apparently for some studio work and a little partying too – with none other than Mario Lopez??? According to People Magazine, they met up at The Mint and then headed to Moon Nightclub en masse, no further details as to whether or not it was romantic but given this guy’s track record, I wouldn’t be surprised. Full Story

Widely discredited in Britain, Heather Mills has set her sites on the US, where she has arrived (LA) for an exclusive sit down interview with Extra – like 2nd or even 3rd tier, don’t you think? No doubt Paul’s scheming bitch of an ex will try to gain sympathy stateside in yet another effort to perform alchemy on those abuse allegations, as if saying it enough times makes it true. Full Story