Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Pedestrian Rage

Pedestrian rage is a feeling of anger and astonishment at the rudeness/dimwittedness of other people walking on the same path as you.

This is a common but under-reported condition that affects people from all around the world. Due to the nature of the condition this may occur only once or it may occur regularly throughout your life. There is no known cure to this behaviour, although many have suggested rounding up all the offending people and putting them on a dessert island. As of yet this is just a theory and more research will need to be conducted before we can know for certain it will work.

There are many symptoms of pedestrian rage, including but not limited to:

shock

anger

fury

incredulousness

There are several causes of pedestrian rage, although not all are currently known as new ones are created every day. Research shows us that some of the most common causes are:

someone walking really slowly

someone swaying left and right so you cannot over take them

someone stopping in front of you suddenly

a group of people taking up the whole path and not moving, forcing you to stand in the road/grass while they pass by

someone staring idly down at their phone and drifting directly in front of you

someone walking towards you, seeing you on one side of the path and then deciding that they want to walk on that side too, forcing you to move out of their way

someone seeing you are trying to get past them but then continue to block your path for no apparent reason

someone who knocks into your bag

someone who barges past you

Treatment is limited, but there are a few things you can do to help prevent or alleviate your symptoms:

staying away from crowded places

muttering obscenities under your breath

throwing shade at the back of the offenders head

thinking of ways to get back at the offender but not actually doing them

thinking of clever retorts to say to the offender but not actually saying them

complaining to people you know about the offenders behaviour when you’re out of earshot of said offender

If you too have suffered from this condition, or any related condition, please let me know in the comments section below.