What's Your Attitude Toward Daydreaming?

Despite the fact that we all daydream, most of us don't discuss it. We're more likely to talk about our sex lives (or crimes!) than reveal a daydream. Moreover, many of us have been taught that daydreaming is somehow "bad." Yet daydreams are far more than wishful thinking—they are our source of ideas, energy, creativity, self-knowledge, and motivation.

We all daydream, even if you're one of those stubborn types who insist you don't. Part of the problem in talking about daydreaming is simply defining it. Some people think of daydreaming as only those pleasure-filled fantasies of sailing off to Tahiti or rolling around with a fantasy lover. And those are daydreams, but so are mind wanderings, imagined conversations, envisioned goals, plans, and strategies, and so much more.

I'm on a mission to help people get over their feelings of guilt and shame about daydreaming because 1) it's a natural human function and 2) it's our most creative state of mind. One interesting way to look at the process is to ask the question: What would we do if we couldn't envision and imagine in a daydreaming state? We'd be like robots, stuck only in the here and now, unable to dream or create or imagine the road around the bend.

To boil it down, daydreaming is our most creative state of mind for four reasons. When daydreaming:• We are using the most complex regions of the brain, tapping into stores of knowledge and experience unavailable when locked in the tunnel-vision of focus.• We can envision—we can see things, people, and events via the mind's eye. • The mind is completely uncensored, which gives us the freedom to explore a wide, and sometimes wild, variety of options without an internal critic hovering. • We are able to free-associate, making seemingly random connections, which in turn can lead to creative solutions.

I began my research into daydreaming a number of years ago—mainly out of curiosity. I was a big daydreamer and wondered if others shared this trait and why no one ever talked about it. Also, I have to admit I was offended and puzzled by the negative view many people have about daydreaming because I think of it as a glorious process.

After much research, I came to the conclusion that a bad attitude toward daydreaming prevents many people from mining their daydreams for the gems they often produce (not to mention that a bad attitude just makes people feel bad about something they do naturally and often).

The first step in getting the most out of your daydreaming state of mind is simply to notice when you're daydreaming. According to a June 9, 2009, blog by Jonah Lehrer, author of How We Decide, researchers hypothesize that those who notice their daydreams are also more likely to notice when they emerge with a "useful or creative insight" from the process. I would add that those who appreciate and enjoy this state of mind are also more likely to benefit from its creative and energizing components.

So, what's your attitude toward daydreaming?• Do you admit to daydreaming?• Do you define it broadly or think of it only as wishful thinking?• As a child, were you ever chastised for daydreaming?• Do you ever share your daydreams with anyone?• Do you enjoy your daydreams or do you think you're wasting time?• Would you say you daydream a lot, a little, or never?• Are you ashamed of your daydreams?• Do you ever act on your daydreams? Create a work of art, come up with an idea for work, or plan for an event or travel?• Think about the words you commonly associate with daydreaming and ask yourself if those are positive, neutral, or negative: i.e. "pipe dreams," "pie-in-the-sky," "spacing out," "spontaneous thought," "musings," "inner voice," "imagination," "vision," "mind's eye," etc. If you're like many people, you've probably associated negative words with this state of mind. Even switching your language can open you up to the creative possibilities inherent in daydreaming.

For more on daydreaming, check out my book [amazon 1933102691] or visit my Daydreams at Work website.

Hi, I wanted to post and answer a few of the questions you ask. I personally daydream ALL the time...I sometimes wonder if I daydream more than others. Music also sparks my daydreams and I would say that 90% of the time my daydreams are positive. I usually daydream about realistic and positive situations. I don't daydream that I am a movie star or celebrity but I might daydream about an upcoming weekend or vacation. Daydreams honestly help me get through the day....I really like how you said daydreams are uncensored. It's true....to each their own!

I daydream all the time -- especially in the car or when I'm on a run. I use daydreams as motivation, by envisioning the scenario the way I want it to happen. I rarely dream of situations or people that are not in my actual life. Usually when I daydream it's about an event coming up and I plan how it will go. But there is the occasional fantasy where I dream of things I know I'll never get, but they're a nice break from real life!

I daydream most often about things I would like--typically moving to a cool house in a quaint town--but I don't like to dwell on daydreams too long because I worry that it might set me up for disappointment if my dreams never come to pass. I try to be content and grateful with what I have now. Am I squashing my creativity? How is it helpful to foster daydreams that probably will never materialize?

Great question. I detect a little bit of the “pipe dream” guilt as if we’re not allowed to daydream about things that seem out of reach. We daydream for a variety of reasons—-sometimes it’s just to experiment with options that in real life we’d never pursue. It gives us a safe place to explore possibilities and plans. I recommend trying to see the goal behind the goal in your daydreams. Maybe you don’t want exactly what you’re daydreaming about but some aspect of it. Or maybe you can incorporate achievable aspects of your daydream into your real life—-i.e. you can’t live in the exact house you daydream about, but maybe you can style your home in a daydream-inspired fashion or start building the community you seek in a “quaint” town. Daydreams also are tied to hope, which helps us cope and persevere. And I never discount the stress relief and sheer fun value of daydreaming. Most of us don’t have enough fun, and if daydreams offer you a dollop of pleasure, then go for it. I don’t think you have to choose between appreciating your “real” life and slipping off into daydreams for whatever ideas, energy, or motivation you might get from them. They happen for a reason, and often they’re goal related. If your daydreams get obsessive and are no longer serving you—-at least by noticing them and beginning to understand the relationship to how you feel, you can take steps to break the pattern.

This question of fostering daydreams that might not come true has got me thinking (or maybe daydreaming). There's always the risk of disappointment, but like Amy said, there's also the chance of finding a way to live the dream if only for an hour or for a day.

Isn't that what karaoke does for people who daydream of performing on stage before an adoring audience? Might an elaborate wedding reflect the bride's dream of being a princess? And what about the guy who wears business suits to work but on the weekends puts on a leather jacket and rides a Harley-Davidson on country roads? Maybe he daydreams of being a rebel and his bike lets him be one.

Daydreams can take us to impossible places. They can also take us to the possible.

I remember as a child , daydreaming seemed like a guilty pleasure when mentioned by adults.I definitely kept my thoughts to myself. I do think its odd that people feel completely free to discuss their night dreams but very rarely share their daydreams.

I think now though daydreaming is finally getting the respect and interest it deserves. I am impressed with the research and the thought given to the power of creative daydreaming. Ms Fries has touched on an important and relatively unacknowledged tool not only for the workplace but for life in general. I plan on using her book (Daydreams at Work) to further my life and my career.

I find that I daydream a lot and this has long been a topic that has fascinated me. I want to write fantasy literature and I've found ever since I was a child that my daydreams are "way out there". I daydream characters with lives and histories and stories with complete plots ... and I pick up old daydreams - some of these story lines can go on for weeks and weeks. My guess is that I should really be tapping into these daydreams but I confess I've really no idea what to actually do with them.

The other thing I find is that I tend to daydream conversations a lot - I'll go over how conversations can go or could have gone and in other cases I use my daydreams to take out frustrations - when I feel uncomfortable physically expressing myself (or expressing myself in reality) I turn to daydreams to let off the steam I might be feeling inside ... is this normal? How much can our daydreams reveal about our psychologies?

On another note - how much to our daydreams relate to or reflect our night-time dreaming? I've noticed that my night dreaming also has complex characters and plots - they're like experiencing movies as one of the characters....

Everything you’re describing is perfectly normal and certainly your heavy daydreaming is consistent with creative writing. I describe fiction writing in my book as “daydreaming on steroids.” Whether someone is writing pure fantasy or stories based on real events, arguably the story is woven together in a daydreaming state, which is consistent with what we know about daydreaming; among many other things, daydreaming serves an information processing function. Of course, at some point, writers have to sit down and do the hard work of writing and revision, but even then it becomes an interesting and complex exercise—-the ability to focus intensely yet be in a dreamy state of mind. The kind of fantasies you’re describing are perfect for recording, and I suggest that you start experimenting with writing them down and see what happens. That’s what J.K. Rowling did, and we know how that worked out for her.

To answer your final questions (sort of): Daydreams are a key source of self-knowledge. One psychiatrist describes them as the “Rosetta Stone” of self-understanding. However, many are more complex than they appear on the surface; you need to view them within the context of your life because they don’t have the kind of universal symbolism associated with night dreams. Also, because waking dreams are not as random as night dreams, they can be more revealing about conscious goals, desires, and fears whereas night dreams are obviously associated with the deep subconscious.

An excellent article on why daydreaming is a positive thinking process. Sometimes when my mind is in a muddle over some aspect of my life, I put on my walking shoes and let my mind wander along with my feet, relaxed and moving forward. Inevitably a few options to the problem emerge and by the time I reach home again, I have some possibilities to pursue ... not just a panicked muddle. Thanks, Amy, for promoting daydreaming in our lives.

I have always thought of daydreaming as more of a release valve than a source of creative ideas. Now, night dreaming is more productive for me in terms of suggesting directions to go in for work projects. Day dreaming is more about wishing to be other places, doing forbidden or unavailable things.

I have always thought of daydreaming as more of a release valve than a source of creative ideas. Now, night dreaming is more productive for me in terms of suggesting directions to go in for work projects. Day dreaming is more about wishing to be other places, doing forbidden or unavailable things.

Seems to me that you have hit on a kind of mental state that is necessary for our proper functioning. Just like REM sleep is a necessary activity, so is daydreaming, it's just that we are awake. I bet the deepest insights of science have been produced by what we would describe as 'daydreaming'. Personally, I daydream all the time, sometime useful things, sometimes about that trip to Tahiti.

I think of daydreams as nature's secret anti-depressant. I personally have a regular "stock' of daydreams that I use to relax and calm myself before sleep or other stressful situations. Some of these recurring daydreams are essentially the same scenario -- with a few adjustments in the characters over time. Occassionally I have taken some of the more noble attributes of my daydream characters and tried to apply them to my own life -- with limited success. Oddly enough, I never get bored with my repetitive, recurring daydreams!

Really, how would you get through the day if you didn't let your mind wander into daydreams? It helps one to cope with stressful situations in life. Daydreams take me to the beach when I am going through a root canal, or colonoscopy or sitting on the plane during a flight delay or other unpleasant moments in life. The bonus is that you usually get some interesting ideas during that time.

Thanks for the question. As far as how I’m planning to conduct this “mission,” (a bit of hyperbole I’ll admit!), I’m a big believer in knowledge, information, and communication. I’ve written a book on the topic, Daydreams at Work: Wake Up Your Creative Powers; www.daydreamsatwork.com. It’s about why we daydream, the role daydreams play in our lives, and how we can use them to our advantage to generate ideas, problem solve, and find energy and motivation. I was also invited to do this blog—I’m also happy to talk about it with individuals or groups who want to know more about daydreaming. So that’s the long answer to how I hope to help people get a better understanding of daydreaming. If people don’t know anything about daydreaming or think the process is “bad” in and of itself, then I believe having more information as to why we daydream and why it serves a role in human life can help them get over general feelings of guilt and shame about the process. Because of cultural conditioning—being told by parents, teachers, society at large, that we shouldn’t daydream—a number of people have a really negative attitude toward the process in general. It occurred to me while doing the research for my book, that in a way daydreaming is viewed in the same negative light we’ve viewed sex a while ago, or as some cultures still do. It’s there in the background, but it’s better to not talk about it, think about it, or know too much about it, an attitude that leads to unnecessary guilt and shame. Now if you’re talking about the specific content of daydreams, then helping people getting over guilt and shame is more complicated. Though in a future post I plan to talk about cathartic daydreams, such as hostile or revenge-oriented daydreams, and how even those can play a valuable role in our lives. I think you’re right in your implication that guilt and shame are complicated emotions and getting over them is not easy. But kicking oneself for daydreaming is a waste of energy, and understanding any thought process is the first step in dealing with difficult thoughts and feelings.

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I have to daydream. I often do not discuss it with anyone, but I do daydream different scenarios of my life. I am one of those "planning" people, and daydreaming allows me to to have a plan, a backup plan, and a last resort.

I am glad i googled this issue and find this website. I thought was crazy until i read all the stories and now i feel better.

Some times I day dream for weeks about being rich and living in place with beoutifull women and it feel so real it really scare me. Lately i break ii off and I am trying to not do it excessively. But i noticed when i am depressed , it is scape for me and it works.

i am going to have to disagree with you. from my personal experience, and mine alone, daydream is a very negative and destructive thing.

for me daydreaming typically either makes me angry or depressed. this is probably just my negative personality but, if i allow my mind to have free reign then it will day dream bad things.

for anger, most of my daydreams revolve around 2 things, changing the past or controlling the future. in both instances my mind comes up with the most violent and vicious was to punish and cause suffering to other people. it gets so bad that i actually entire future situations in a bad, already hostile mental state and i blow past situations way out of proportion.

for depression, this most often occurs when i think about what i want. specifically about things i know i will never have. i have dont better with this by accepting that this type of day dreaing is ok along as i continue to acknowledge it wont get what i want. yet i still find it a major waste of time and pointless.

for a long time i practised a meditation technique which i am convinced greatly reduced my ability and certainly tendency to daydream to the great detriment of my quality of life - i am convinced that what meditation does (greatly reduces bloodflow to your thalamus amongst other things)is not healthy and that its lack of healthiness is tied in to the way it atrophies your ability to daydream and in fact other types of thinking too. I would really like it if some scientists (i´m not) were to look into this area cos my personal experience has shown me that the much-vaunted mind emptying power of meditation is true but ain´t healthy !

I am working in europe and have a boyfriend in new zealand and I am constantly day dreaming of when I will see him again and its always us running into each other in all different scenarios and Im not sure we will even be together as I wont go home and he wont come over here... drives me crazy, its all I ever think about .. but on the other hand I enjoy it because I can live it over and over again without actually doing it...

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