5 Wild and Weird Thanksgiving Turkeys

Most Thanksgiving turkeys make us yawn—and not just because of the tryptophan. Bland or boring, the behemoth-like birds are often dried out, flavorless, and swollen with soggy stuffing. Unable to endure the thought of yet another desiccated drumstick this year, we set out to find five wacky, wild and totally nontraditional forms of festive fowl. The results, which range from the Buffalo-sauced to the militant vegan, all have one thing in common: they're even crazier than your Aunt Carol.

Hebert's Boneless Turkey Stuffed with Alligator Dressing

Hebert's Boneless Turkey Stuffed with Alligator Dressing

Price: $49.95

While historians haggle over what, exactly, the Pilgrims ate at the first Thanksgiving, we're pretty sure they'd all agree it wasn't alligator. Still, that shouldn't stop you. Hebert's bayou-style birds are carefully deboned by hand so that "all the meat stays in all the right places." The 8- to 10-pound turkeys are then stuffed with a mixture of sauteed onion, tomato, white rice and raucous reptile. A vacuum seal infuses the skin and breast with Cajun spices to enhance flavor. To prepare, simply defrost the turkey for three days in the fridge and then bake according to package instructions. According to Hebert's owner, Ed Richard, the meat is so tender you can forget the knife and fork and just "spoon out whatever you want." And don't skip the gravy: alligator, apparently, makes for "excellent drippings."

Jive Turkey's Deep-Fried Buffalo Turkey

Jive Turkey's Deep-Fried Buffalo Turkey

Price: $75.50

There is no greater holiday for competitive eaters than Thanksgiving, and no greater challenge than Jive Turkey's Deep-Fried Buffalo Turkey, which takes the concept of hot wings to a whole new level. Gear up in your loosest-fitting pants, tie a fine linen napkin around your neck and get ready to tackle 10 to 12 pounds of deep-fried fowl slathered in sticky orange sauce. Forgo that glass of Beaujolais and open a beer--you'll need it to soothe your searing taste buds. Each bird is shipped from Jive's home base in Brooklyn, New York prepared for battle: fully cooked, with easy reheating and carving instructions. While extra sauce is included (who needs gravy when there's Frank's?), alas, there isn't a celery stick or vat of blue cheese dressing in sight. According to founder and owner Aricka Westbrooks, the leftovers make for a great "game-day lunch" when transformed into a turkey tortilla pie: "Chop the turkey and slather the spicy buffalo sauce on corn tortillas and add cheddar cheese. After baking in the oven, dollop with sour cream." Save that standard turkey sandwich for your next trip to the deli.