hen the Federation of Students opens
their polls in February, undergrads will
not be casting a ballot for president.
They will not be casting a ballot for vice-president
administration and finance, either.
That’s because both of those positions have
been acclaimed and will be held respectively by Justin Williams and incumbent Del Pereira. Although
current vice-president education Jonah Levine
stated he was confident regarding the abilities of
the acclaimed, he also remarked, “The lack of
an election is a disappointment.” The sentiment
was echoed by president-elect Williams himself.
“I would have preferred to win an election rather
than be acclaimed,” said Williams.
Incumbent Del Pereira originally had an opponent: math councillor Aly Sivji. However, Sivji
resigned shortly after the all-candidates meeting
on January 23. Sivji cited his high opinion of
Pereira’s performance this past year as a reason
not to oppose him. “I was sort of on the fence
to run to begin with,” said Sivji. He added: “My
whole platform was going to be ‘I have real work
experience’ but Del already has the experience,”
and “Withdrawing from the race has opened the
door for me to explore some opportunities and
interests which would not have been available
had I won the election.”
Stephanie Cabico and former Feds exec Renjie
Butalid were both rumored as potentially considering running for president as well. Butalid told
Imprint that he had considered candidacy, but eventually decided to dedicate his future to the Laurel
Centre for Social Entrepreneurship instead.
Cabico also confirmed that she had indeed
considered running. “I feel horrible for not running. I don’t really regret it, but I wish someone
else stepped up and [at] least gave some competition.” Cabico cited multiple personal and professional reasons (including other employment) for
her decision not to finalize her candidacy, and
explicitly specified that fear of losing to Williams
was not one of those reasons.
When asked about the implementation of
checks and balances in this year’s elections,
Feds executive researcher Rick Theis defended
the electoral system: “The system of checks
and balances was already present in the open
nomination period. There are no mechanisms to
protect against apathy and the fear of running
for office.” Theis also noted that as last year
had a 16.5 per cent voter turnout for president
(a record breaking 3742 votes), it would be odd
to ascribe the low number of candidates in this
election to straight apathy.

Theories abound regarding why there are so
few candidates this year. Both Feds president
Kevin Royal and Graduate Students Association
President Ian MacKinnon put forward the possibility that Williams is a “consensus candidate;”
that students as a whole just agree that he should
be president. This theory may seem strange, but
there’s evidence for it. Potential opponent Butalid
himself said, “When I made my decision not to run,
I knew that the Federation of Students would still
be left in capable hands, following a conversation
I had with Williams back in November.”
There’s also the fact (considering the comments of Cabico and Butalid) that the ambitions
of some potential politicians simply lie outside
Ring Road. Of the student body with the qualifications and experience, a Feds presidency isn’t
something on which all would set their sights.
A third theory held by those in Feds circles is
the low candidate count has been caused by a lack
of controversy over the past year. The bus pass, for
years a nagging issue, has been settled. There’s been
no recent public relations disaster such as Feds losing their liquor license or Feds dissolving a student
club. Potential issues such as the CKMS fee (for the
campus radio) and UW WUSC (the program which
brings refugees to our campus) have already met the
criteria for referenda, and thus will not be decided
by whomever becomes a Feds exec. Low turnout
might also suggest low Feds visibility.
President-elect Williams did not speak on the
specifics of his platform, saying he needed further
consultation with his running-mates. However,
he did say that he wanted to improve both the
visibility and reputation of Feds. “I think one of
the reasons people aren’t engaged with council is
that they have a bad mental image of council.”
He stated that actively engaging first years was
a “big thing” for him. Williams also espoused a
desire for greater co-operation between the Feds
services, especially with regard to their working
space. Williams, who comes from the faculty of
environmental studies, has mentioned he would
also like to see sustainability on his agenda.
The last time the president of Feds was acclaimed
was the 1997 election, when incumbent president
Mario Bellabarba reclaimed his position unopposed.
In fact, the entire executive was acclaimed that year,
leading some students to demand another election
be held. The current situation is more analogous to
the 2000 election, where two of the vice presidents
were acclaimed. That year had only eight per cent
voter turnout. With the CKMS and WUSC referenda this year, hopefully more students will cast
ballots this year than in 2000 — even if two of the
Feds executive have already been decided.
mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Mackenzie Keast

News

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Waterloo law school becomes possibility

amna Iqbal & Joyce Hsu

The Seagram’s land location could be the future home of KW’s very own law school if talks progress between UW, WLU and Jim Balsillie of RIM.
Ashley Csanady
staff reporter

A

law school may soon be added
to the plethora of new projects in the region supported
by RIM’s Jim Balsillie.
The school would potentially be
another joint venture between UW and
WLU, and located alongside the Jim
Balsillie School for International Governance — which Balsillie supported with
a donation of $33 million last summer
— on the old Seagram lots.
The proposed site, on the corner of
Caroline St. and Erb St. is already home to
the Centre for International Governance
(CIGI), run by former UW professor and
acclaimed historian John English, and was
also supported by Balsillie.
“Jim Balsillie has indicated he would
support a law school that would have
integrated programs with the Balsillie
School,” said English, adding, “It is
common to have law integrated with
international studies as at the renowned
Fletcher School at Tufts University.”
English later added, however, that
“there is a question of approval and it’s
very early but there is much excitement
about the prospect.”
The tentative nature of the proposal
was reaffirmed by the dean of arts,
Ken Coates, who said, “The potential
partners, UW, WLU, CIGI have not
agreed to any initiative as yet. A law
school would be a major undertaking
and it would have to be done right.”
The fact that UW has yet to make any
public announcement as to whether it is
interested was re-iterated by WLU vicepresident academic Susan Horton.
There hasn’t been a new accredited
law school in Ontario for 30 years, Horton explained. “Laurier put in an application to the ministry for funding for a law
school back in May. At that time, it did
not involve any other partners. It became
clear that the project would take a while
to obtain approval, and the discussions
about approval are still in progress.”

“Should a law school come here,
it would have a significant impact on
the partner institutions and on KW.”
said Dean Coates. “It would create
additional opportunities for students,
enhance the legal environment in the
region and contribute to the general
economic growth of the area. There are
considerable opportunities associated
with a new school of this nature.”
Thomas Homer-Dixon, a new professor for the Balsillie school whom the
Record touted as their “first major coup”
said, “I think a law school would be a
very potent complement to the already
powerful combination CIGI and the
new Balsillie School. From what I understand, the proposal is that the law
school would specialize in international
and IT law — which are exactly the
areas that would be appropriate for the
other two institutions. In fact, the three
facilities together would be potentially a
world-beating combination and would
help further move Waterloo into the
top tier of the world’s ‘learning and
innovation’ communities.”
“[Dixon is] one of the leading scholars on contemporary environmental
change,” said Coates in the same Record
article. “He’s very, very well known
for his work on global climate change
and the appropriate political and social
response to that.”
The benefits of a joint venture
between the two universities, CIGI and
the Balsillie School may be innumerable,
but the idea will take time. Besides the
fact that few of the major players have
expressed their formal interest, the fact
that there hasn’t been a new law school
in the province for over 30 years speaks
to the difficulty of such an undertaking.
Balsillie may be generous enough to
again open his wallet to the benefit of
the region, but we will have to wait and
see whether he’ll get the chance.
acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

n the afternoon of Wednesday, January 23, all was not
well outside a session promoting the University of Waterloo’s
new student exchange program with
Israel’s Haifa University. A group
of UW’s Palestinian students and
sympathizers gathered outside to
express their anger at the interaction between the two schools while
distributing literature expressing
their discontent through information they had gathered regarding
the treatment of Palestinians at the
Israeli school.
Rami Alhamad, leader of the
group “Students for
Palestinian Rights”
was infuriated by
the promotion of the

exchange. “Palestinian students
make up a quarter of the students at
Haifa, but they make up 80 per cent
of the students facing disciplinary
action. If we were seeing this here
at UW, it would be looked at quite
differently.”
The flyers being handed out
by the group contain this kind of
information and more about the
professed acts of discrimination
against the Arab students, including information about the feud
between Haifa and the West Bank
school Birzeit University. Said
Alhamad: “The Israelis destroyed
the main [highway] leading to
Biezeit school, they’ve cut off
the professors and students from
their school,” leaving, according
to Alhamad, the students almost
no opportunity to learn, with
their choices consisting of the
supposedly anti-Palestinian Haifa
or attending underground classes
and taking as long as 10 years to
finish a degree.
The Haifa exchange program
garners a considerable amount of
its interest from the fact that it
is free. Heather Reisman who is,
along with Gerry Schwartz, one of
the two majority shareholders of
bookstore chains Chapters, Coles
and Indigo, donated half a million
dollars to the exchange program
between UW and Haifa.
Reisman and Schwartz also faced
scrutiny in 2006 when their support
of over $3 million a year to the Heseg Foundation, a charity involved
with the Israeli military, came to
light. This involvement sparked
the boycott of Chapters and its

related stores by Palestinian and
sympathetic groups in Canada.
The free Haifa exchange program, according to the Students
for Palestinian Rights doesn’t come
without a price. “[We] think this
exchange program is discriminatory
in its nature. Our objective is to highlight driscrimination and injustice
and raise awareness. By supporting
Haifa, you are supporting state terrorism,” said Alhamad.
It seems the bitter conflict in the
Middle East has found its way onto
the UW campus.
tmyers@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Correction
In the January 18 edition
of Imprint, the name of the
CKMS DJ pictured on cover
is Ryan Cain.
In the article “Campus
conflicts spur Facebook
groups” by Sarah Hewey,
the deadline for nominations of Feds positions was
incorrectly stated to have
been on February 12 when
it was in fact on January 21.
Imprint apologizes for any
misunderstanding.

4

News

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Dana Porter library gets a facelift

Rocky Choi

The Dana Porter library, lovingly called “the Sugarcube,” lives up to its nickname while illuminated at night, a look unlikely to change with renovations.
Marco Baldasaro
assistant news editor

E

njoy your Colombian Supremo,
1812 Reserve, or French Vanilla
coffee blends at the Dana Porter
Library while you can: renovations are
on the horizon for the entire main floor
and you may need to find a new place
to get coffee for a few months.
This latest project comes on the
heels of a whole slew of library upgrades to both the Dana Porter and
the Davis Centre. So far, donation

money has gone towards installing
a state-of-the-art RFID security and
collections management system in
both the Davis and Porter libraries,
renovations of the 3rd floor of the
Porter Library which now include the
Peter and Betty Sims Reading Room,
a computer research area, new study
carrels throughout the floor, and
high speed workstations throughout
the libraries.
Despite these upgrades, both the
Dana Porter and the Davis Centre
have been able to avoid closing entire

floors for any significant period until
this final project.
According to a news release on the
University of Waterloo Library website, the renovations to Dana Porter
will “transform the main floor into a
welcome and vital learning space that
is flexible to the needs of UW’s growing and ever-changing student body.”
The library raised $2.8 million in
donations from the University of
Waterloo for the renovations, with
money coming from students, staff,
faculty, retirees, alumni and parents.

The Kresge Foundation, one of
the world’s largest philanthropic
organizations, also chipped in with a
$600,000 U.S. grant to top off a hugely
successful fundraising campaign. To
date, this is the largest grant that the
Kresge Foundation has ever awarded
to a Canadian university.
Interestingly enough, this generous
grant almost never came to be. The
Kresge foundation provides funding in
the form of a challenge: a recipient of
funding must raise the funding needed
for a project, minus the amount of
the Kresge Challenge Grant they are
seeking. The deadline for meeting the
$2.8 million target, was originally set for
the end of 2006 and due to a failure
to meet this goal, had to be extended
twice. The most recent extension was
announced in April of 2007.
Design plans for the renovation are
currently in the process of being finalized. The Walter Fedy Partnership, the
project architect, has been busy taking
measurements of the public and staff

areas. Planning for the proposed renovation will conclude in late February
or early March with renovations slated
to begin after the completion of the
exam schedule in late April.
Design plans were influenced
by student and faculty feedback.
Changes will include an increase in
public space and individual study
areas, additional workstations, more
natural lighting and window views, and
improved signage and displays.
During renovations, the main floor
will be entirely closed to both students
and staff in order to make certain that
the project is completed prior to the
start of the fall term.
To cope with the closure, library
staff will provide alternative access to
their regular services and resources
while the project takes place. More
information will become available
from the library as the project takes
a more distinct shape.
mbaldasaro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Campus and
community events
Alice (Experiments) in Wonderland
JANUARY 25 — FEBRUARY 3
Friday — Sunday
8:00 pm
@ Theatre of the Arts
Lewis Carroll’s ageless fantasia receives
an electronic overhaul in which
virtual characters interact with live ones,
leaping on and offscreen, and from one
venue to another with lightning speed.
Created in partnership with Bradley
University in Illinois and the University
of Waterloo in Canada, and thanks to
broadband computers and 2-D sets, this
digital-age recreation of Alice In Wonderland uses technology to offer a new
twist on Alice’s surreal journey. Tickets
$12 General, $10 Students, $5 Children
http://web.mac.com/leah_higginbotham/
iWeb/Site/Welcome.html
Fewer Poor, Not Better Poor:
a lecture by Paul Born
JAN 31
Thursday
4:30 — 6:00 pm
@Arts Lecture Hall, room 116

Jamie Damaskinos

Two very different clubs found their booths right across from one another
during “Clubs Days,” an event run from January 17 to 18.

Presented as part of the social entrepreneurship lecture series. Born’s lecture will

focus on social entrepreneurs working to
end poverty.
http://laurelcentre.ca/lectures.html
Therapeutic Recreation Awareness
Week
FEBRUARY 3 — 9
Sunday — Saturday
@SLC
The Therapeutic Recreation Students at the
University of Waterloo would like to invite
you to join them in the SLC to learn what
therapeutic recreation is and how it helps
individuals to believe in themselves, belong
to the community, and become the best
they can be.
Inter-Collegiate Peace Fellowship
Student Conference
FEBRUARY 29 — MARCH 2
Friday — Sunday
@Conrad Grebel University College
Join speakers Pastor James Wuye and Imam
Muhammed Ashafa, co-recipients of the
Tanenbaum Peacemaker award in 2000 for a
weekend of inspirational sessions, workshops,
panel discussions and multi-faith prayers. $20
for Saturday sessions, $40 for entire weekend.
www.grebel.uwaterloo.ca/icpf

Introducing our

Bachelor of Education
Program

“Our focus is to fully equip teacher

candidates to become faithful
educators who can professionally
engage the diversity of learners in
today’s classrooms.

”

—Dr. Carla Nelson, Director of the Bachelor of Education Program

■

■

5

A unique, 12-month program that will prepare teachers for certification from the
Ontario College of Teachers in the Primary/Junior (Kindergarten to Grade 6) and
Junior/Intermediate (Grade 4-10) divisions.
Limited enrollment of only 70 students.

Keegan Tremblay, Rajul Saleh, Matthew Wiebe, Chris
Miller, Cait Davidson, William Chau, Emma Tarswell,
Gordon Li, Sarah Mask, Ashley Fournier, Megan Ng,
Tracey McKenna, Tejas Koshy, Stephen Yi, Keshi Hasan,
Sukhjeet Jocl, Paul Collier, Brittany Baker, Alicia Boers,
Lily Lo, Sohni Satyajit
Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of
Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published
by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without
share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community
Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may
be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint
may also reproduce the material commercially in any format
or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any
other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting
editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted
material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to
any other publication or group until such time as the material
has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares
their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this
agreement is available upon request.
Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs,
letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the
discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous
or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our
code of ethics and journalistic standards.
Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter
terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint
reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One
copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub
Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122.
Next board meeting:
TBA
Next staff meeting:
Monday, January 28, 2008
12:30 p.m.

L

ast week, right after a very difficult production night, 12 Imprint volunteers and
I made our way to Ottawa for the 2008
national student journalism conference. The
minor changes you’ll see in this week’s paper
spring from some of the great workshops we
attended during our time there. However, for
me the biggest change in this week’s paper has
been much longer in coming, and I dearly hope
it stands the test of time.
Just over a year ago, on January 22, 2007,
the Globe and Mail began a comprehensive news
series on the Pickton trial. “Day 1,” read the stark
front page, which would maintain that ominous
chronology for issues to come, inviting readers
into explicit accounts of Pickton’s then-alleged
crimes. The coverage itself was thorough; of that
there is little doubt. But was so much lurid attention, and so prominent an on-going presentation,
appropriate for one of the most heinous serial
killers in Canadian history?
A great many Canadians disagreed. As did
a great many media outlets. In the days that
followed, both the CBC and Globe and Mail
opened discussion forums with the general
public, inviting various opinions on what kind
of coverage a situation like the Pickton trial
merited. As a society, we’ve seen the danger

of “culture of fear” reporting — the kind of
glamourized news-telling that heightens citizen
panic — and many felt this was precisely the
approach the Globe and Mail had taken.
And yet I don’t feel it was intentional — rather,
it was more an educational misstep in the Globe
and Mail’s overarching pursuit of thoroughly
investigative serial reporting. While the Pickton
trial coverage highlighted some of the dangers
of serial reporting (the dangers that arise, really,
whenever the media fails to keep news in proportion, either through the language or sheer size of
stories on a given subject), the Globe and Mail as
a whole has proven quite effective at the form.
“The Boy in the Moon,” an extensive three-part
feature on one journalist’s struggle to understand
and care for his severely disabled son, is one such
example of serial reporting at its best.
So what makes good serial reporting — and
what exactly is its purpose? Well, here at Imprint
one of the greatest complaints we receive is that
the paper doesn’t dig deep enough and lacks
the consistency needed to help readers connect
the dots. This is in large part the result of our
operational circumstances: we’re a student paper run by a volunteer staff that changes every
single term. How then can we provide readers
with the depth they require?

My solution is deceptively simple: each term,
choose an overarching question that relates to
student life, and write the heck out of it. Then
hopefully, if our coverage is comprehensive
enough, we can limit redundancy in future
articles, while also providing readers with all
the information we have in a few neat and tidy
bundles — both in print and online.
It’s an ambitious project. At Imprint, we had to
create a specific reporters’ group, the H-Corps, to
implement investigative reporting in the office,
and we’re still working on creating the position
of head reporter to further entrench the importance of such work. Meanwhile, the office as a
whole is still undergoing renovations to provide
volunteers with the interviewing resources they
need, and Imprint’s research library is essentially
being rebuilt from scratch.
To this end, if you’re interested in helping
us on the ground floor, by all means swing by
the office every Friday at 2 p.m., or drop me
a line at the email address below. Otherwise,
I invite you all to read this week’s instalment,
hopefully enjoy it, and give us some real feedback regarding this initiative — as with all the
others yet to come.
editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Trade meets human rights

P

unitive, protectionist, political, or principled: economic sanctions can be many
things, and those are just the ones that
start with the letter “P”. Although our lovely
country sometimes uses economic sanctions
to express displeasure with the human rights
violations of other nations, there is no hard
and fast rule about their application. Stringent
sanctions were imposed on Myanmar following the military junta’s brutal suppression of
pro-democracy activists, but to be fair, Canada
had little to lose in the way of viable business
opportunities. What happens then when it comes
to our dealings with China, an economic giant
with whom we trade billions?
While it is incumbent on Canada to promote
respect for human rights, sanctions are clearly
not the answer in this scenario. Although trade
with China is increasing at a quick rate, we really don’t have that much weight compared to
an economy that is either the second or forth
largest in the world, depending on how you
measure it.
Not only that, but considering that China was
our second largest trading partner last year, any
sort of heavy-handed movement would hurt
us just as much if not more. International trade
minister David Emerson’s recent trip to Hong
Kong, Beijing, and Mongolia brought the uneasy

dance of trade and human rights promotion back
to the forefront.
Between January 7 and 11 Emerson met with
a multitude of foreign dignitaries, including
China’s commerce minister, Chen Deming, and
Mongolia’s president, Nambaryn Enkhbayar.
During the trip, Emerson had two main goals:
to secure a bilateral agreement protecting foreign
investors from government interference. and
to lobby the Chinese government to designate
Canada as an official tourist destination — as
it has with over 130 other countries.
Many observers have pointed to both the
Conservative and the Liberal government’s
bluntly worded critiques of China’s human
rights record as the reason behind the tourism
snub. Although he went through a combative
period, the Right Honourable Jean Chrétien
curbed his ways in later years and promoted
a very quiet sort of diplomacy with China.
Paul Martin continued this trend, working to
expand and strengthen trade links between the
two countries.
Having been extremely critical of these
policies while in opposition, Stephen Harper’s
government set out to establish a distinct position on the matter. As Harper put it in November
2006, the Conservatives wouldn’t “sell [...] out
to the almighty dollar” at the expense of hu-

man rights. Things became especially sour when
Harper met with the Dalai Lama in October of
last year, who was given honourary Canadian
citizenship in 2006.
Since then, Harper and his ministerial staff
have worked hard to repair the frayed links
between the two countries. Gone are confrontational blusters, replaced instead with the “soft
diplomacy” that characterized the later Liberal
era. When Emerson was asked on January 10
about issues related to human rights, he was
quoted by the Epoch Times as saying “[O]ur
general approach on human rights and democracy is to operate on two tracks. We do make
our views known, we’re very open and candid
with our views on human rights and democracy
and rule of law... we do not think that has to
necessarily get in the way of carrying on trade
investment and building a strong commercial
relationship.”
Although it was refreshing to have our
government take a strong, public stand against
human rights abuse in China, it very quickly
proved to be an ineffective strategy. Rather than
push China towards more progressive policies, it
simply closed down avenues of communication
between the two countries.
See CHINA, page 8

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Bareback
Mountain

S

o, there you are. You and your man are getting hot and heavy. You’ve got Madonna
playing softly in the background, and it’s
the moment of truth. The tension rises while
you exchange sloppy kisses and fumble to take
off each other’s clothes. You decide there and
then that you’re ready to take the next step
with him. You dig around for your pants in the
satin sheets to grab that ancient condom out
of your wallet; but he stops you and whispers
in your ear: “No, fuck me raw.”
This situation probably won’t be out of
the ordinary if you are sexually active. Hell, if
you’re a bar slut or an online whore, this kinda
thing could even be commonplace. Welcome
to the dilemma: barebacking.
Flashback to the early eighties— the growing
AIDS epidemic was terrifying. People didn’t
want to give up the party lifestyle and the chance
of infection was only a small deterrent to bringing home a new guy any time they wanted.
Gay groups and sexual health clinics began
giving away condoms like candy in a Santa
Claus parade to help stop the spread of HIV
among these “whore-mosexuals,” letting them
continue on in their skanky ways without having to worry about dying, or worse, blemishing
their skin with Kaposi’s Sarcoma.
Then the nineties hit. A new generation of
young hussies hit the scene and the ideas of
safe sex began to go the way of the dinosaur.
The term barebacking cropped up when young
tramps needed to differentiate between protected and unprotected sex.
I spoke to a friend of mine who is both
an experienced whore as well as a regular
barebacker. When I asked him why people do
it he explained that the draw is in two parts.
Barebackers enjoy the physical stimulation of
unprotected sex more, as well as the psychological thrill of possibly catching your death.
So let’s get back to you and your guy. A split
second decision —what do you do? Do you put

up a fight? What if you ruin the moment along
with your chances of getting some with him then
and possibly in the future? Is your relationship
strong enough to handle this kind of argument?
The satin sheets might be very romantic, but
what happens when you’re not in bed?
You think to yourself, it’s probably best
just to go along with it. I mean, it’s not like
he asked you to smoke crystal meth with
him (yet). Come on, it’s only unprotected sex.
Plus, you guys have been dating for about
half a month now, you obviously know him
well enough to know if he’s a walking plague
or not. And he never mentioned anything
about having diseases, so really, you’re not
running much, if any, of a risk here, right?
You might as well just put up, shut up, get it
up and forget about this “unsafe” nonsense.
Just a sidenote, if you believe any of this
crap you pretty much deserve to get the clap
in your asshole.
Think about it for a second, if he wants
you to fuck him bareback you have to realize
that he’s probably done the same thing with
other partners. No matter how safe you think
unprotected sex is, it’s not safe sex.
So what do you say to your man then and
there? It’s simple, just tell him straight up that
your rule is no glove, no love. If he gets mad,
tough shit! That’s his problem, babe. I think we
both know he’s missing out.
tmyers@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Think about it for a second, if he
wants you to fuck him bareback you
have to realize that he’s probably
done the same thing with other
partners.

Do you have an Opinion?

I guarantee that your friends are tired of hearing it; start writing it
down for Imprint instead and your friends might come back. Do
people walk too slow? Is income tax the biggest scam ever?
We need 100-200 words on whatever you care about. Send it
to opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.
Because everyone should hear what you have to say.

Award

for

Exceptional
Teaching

by
a

Opinion

Student
NOMINATION DEADLINE
is the second Friday in Februar y.

Sponsored by the Centre for Teaching Excellence (CTE)
and the Graduate Studies Office
Need further information? Contact CTE at Ext. 33857

cte.uwaterloo.ca/awards/

EMMANUEL UNITED CHURCH

is an inclusive, multi-generational congregation located in uptown Waterloo, a short
walk from U of W and just seconds from the
#7 bus route.
Looking for a church home in Waterloo?
Want to recharge your spiritual batteries?
Come worship with us! Sunday mornings at
10:30 a.m., on Bridgeport between
King and Albert.
www.emmanueluc.ca

7

8

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Letters
Had a reaction to one of
our articles, editorials or
columns? Write a letter to
the editor at
letters@imprint.uwaterloo.
ca

D

ue to recent letters and news
stories in Imprint, I thought
it prudent to explain the
Uyzantine relationship between the
Federation of Students and faculty
societies as compared with the connection between the Federation of
Students and external organizations.
In the former case, societies operate with a high degree of sovereignty,
separate in many capacities from the
Federation of Students. Primarily, the
Federation of Students recognizes the
autonomy of the societies and their
independence with regard to financing
and sponsoring activities.
The Federation remains the sole

legal representative of the undergraduates of the university, and thus
is charged with ensuring that the
societies are acting appropriately via
a series of checks and balances.
These checks and balances – including the requirement to submit
budgets, as detailed in a letter to
the editor last week – exist and are
outlined in an agreement between
the Feds and societies, most recently
renewed in 2003.
With respect to external organizations — Imprint, WPIRG, CKMS
— all three have autonomy in the
sense that they are separately incorporated with their own governance
structure. That said, the Federation
of Students remains the officially
recognized student union and has a
duty and responsibility to the students
as it relates to student fees. That
duty can be reflected by directly and
independently supporting an increase
in a fee (Tatham Centre co-op levy),
supporting a change at committee
(via the Student Services Advisory
Committee) or adding/changing a
fee via referendum (such as the dental
plan). In the case of CKMS, WPIRG,

and Imprint, the first two have been
grandfathered in without referendum,
while Imprint was added in 1982.
Despite the autonomy, student
referendums can be called on these
fees by multifarious methods: via vote
at council (as per this year’s CKMS
referendum), via a vote at board (as
per the bus pass referendum) and
via student petition (as per this year’s
WUSC referendum). On February 12
-14, students will have the opportunity to decide whether they support
the elimination of the $5.50 CKMS
tariff or, separately, the addition of
a new WUSC fee to their statement.
The Federation of Students habitually
looks to its members for guidance via
referendum, but such consultation
relies on people voting. Decisions are
made by those people who show up,
so don’t forget to vote.
— Kevin Royal

For many UW students it is difficult
to think of reasons to keep 100.3
CKMS around. They don’t listen to
it on a regular basis, they don’t really
know what good it does.

The truth is that is does plenty
of good for UW students and the
surrounding community. A friend of
mine who had volunteered there for
many years had this to say:
“Speaking as a once long-time
volunteer programmer of CKMS, it
provides a number of benefits to UW
fee-paying students:
• a venue to hear local/indie music which other mediums can’t
provide with the same intensity
of exposure;
• sponsoring of local indie-music;
• knowledgeable, tech-savvy support staff to help educate djs,
broadcasters, musicians;
• a venue for students to acquire
valuable real-world media skills
while in school;
• venue for a variety of ethnic,
public interest, and sociocultural
communities;
• venue to connect UW to the
wider KW community and vice
versa;
• venue to listen to, experiment
with audio media, spoken word
and projects for new academic

courses such as SPcom (speech
communitcation), with a community of like-minded individuals and a variety of top-notch
audio technology.”
There you have it. CKMS 100.3
in a nutshell. UW students who plan
to vote should also consider that
CKMS is one of the only independent
non-conglomerated media outlets in
Waterloo region.
You can find programming on
CKMS that you won’t find anywhere
else. Whatever you’re into, CKMS is
bound to have a show for you. Go
to www.ckmsfm.ca and click on the
schedule tab to see what shows are on
when. The shows cover talk shows,
lecture series, rock, underground,
hiphop, jazz, roots, blues, electronica
and more.
All of this is on the FM dial at 100.3
or streaming through their website at
www.ckmsfm.ca.
Let’s make CKMS yet another
bragging point for UW alumni and
current students!
—John Heil

The jury is still out on whether the
soft push will work, but it seems safe to
assume that it stands a better chance of
effecting change than being combative.
All the same, our natural resources are
in high demand; despite last year’s diplomatic flop over the Dalai Lama’s visit,
Canadian exports to China are up about
27 per cent over the 2006 numbers.
Canada has a responsibility to advocate respect for human rights with
countries it deals with, and China is no
exception. With issues ranging from an
opaque judicial process to exploitive
labour practices, and a crippling lack
of political freedom, there is much
that needs to change. Human Rights
Watch, an advocacy organization for
human rights, argued in November
27 2006 parliamentary testimony that
a mixed approach was best, with no
option precluding another. Whether
loud talking or quiet lobbying is more
effective in bringing about change, it
stands to reason that it’s easier to take
advice from a friend than an enemy.
A combination of open diplomatic
channels and good trade relations in
conjunction with a strong, consistent
stance and criticism of human rights
violations seems to hold the most
promise for success. What we don’t
need is cynically motivated behaviour
that ignores the issue of human rights
until a front-page incident occurs.
ghalpern@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

he last thing we want to hear
around this time of year is
exactly what we should be
expecting. As the weather goes back
into an inhospitable deep freeze, it
comes time again for some to wander
through the streets preaching the
good news.
Yes, soon enough you may well
hear a knock at your door — a politician visiting to plead for your vote.
It’s time to take a long, hard look
at our current Conservative government and to decide if they have
earned another shot. They haven’t
done so badly, have they? No huge
scandals, no mass mismanagement
of our tax dollars; how could they
not be deserving of another term?
After two years in power, they no
longer have the right to call themselves Canada’s new government. In
two years, there should have been
more than enough time to implement changes and advances worthy
of re-election.
Two years ago we elected the
Conservatives hoping that they
could clean up corruption. Fast
forward to today, and the non-profit,
non-partisan group, Democracy
Watch, gives them a “D.”
Essentially, their rush through
the Federal Accountability Act has
left behind so many loopholes that
it has actually invited more corruption, a notion summed up nicely
in the act’s deletion of a rule that

required staff and senior officials
to act with honesty. In short, they
manhandled the one issue we elected
them to work on.
If Stephen Harper ever teaches
political science, he will need to start
every lecture by reminding the class
to do as he says and not as he does. It
was he, after all, who ribbed poor old
Paul Martin endlessly about never
doing anything with his Liberal
minority government. Yet, despite
Stephane Dion’s Liberals bowing out
of votes so that Harper could easily
pass his bills, not one breakthrough
piece of legislation has been tabled.
Paul Martin would have killed for
that luxury.
The Conservatives really don’t
seem to have a clue how to govern.
When the people elect a minority
government, it means that they want
diverse views to be represented.
However, parties that would have
attended the Bali climate change
talks — global warming being a hot
issue — were barred from representation. Removing hard-working MPs
from that cabinet file and replacing
them with a barking guard dog in
front of the folder is not progressive,
and like the Canada’s new government line, hearing that the Liberals
did nothing with the environment
file is getting stale too.
When it comes to governing, the
Conservatives should just admit that
the Liberals knew how to do it bet-

Graduating?
Wondering
about life after
University?

ter; this became apparent when the
Conservatives reinstated a lowering
of the lowest tax bracket from 15.5
per cent to 15 per cent.
The Liberals originally did this
in 2005, and after coming to power,
the Conservatives raised it back up

Monday
Febru ary 4th
Stu den t L ife
Centre (SL C)

Information
Sessions:
¥ Real Life 101
¥ Staying friends with
UW: Alumni Affairs
¥ Financial Planning
and How to Repay
your Loans
¥ Job Fair: One
Important Strategy
to find your next job
¥ Career Services and
You
¥ Healthy Living After
Graduation

10:00am-4:00pm

4:30pm-7:00pm

- Information Expo
- Information
Sessions

- Graduating
Students’ Reception
at the Bomber

See www.gradfest.uwaterloo.ca for more
details

to 15.5 per cent, coincidentally adding the same amount of money to
government coffers as their one per
cent GST reduction removed.
I suppose they’ve learned that
lower-income Canadians could
benefit from more money in their

pockets rather than lower taxes on
everything they can’t afford to buy
anyway.
At least for once, quietly, Harper
was able to admit he was wrong.
adodds@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT
Publications, UW

IMPRINT, the University of Waterloo student
newspaper is hiring an Editor-In-Chief for a
full-time 13-month contract position beginning
March 1, 2008. You will train, manage, motivate and lead a volunteer staff and ensure the
print-to-press quality of all content.
Must have strong organizational skills, be familiar with Adobe CS2, photo editing packages, layout and design skills and experience
with Unix/Linux networks.
Interested candidates should mail or deliver
resume, clippings and a cover letter to:
IMPRINT Publications Hiring Committee
Imprint Publications
200 University Ave., W.
University of Waterloo, Student Life Centre,
room 1116
Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1

o most, flying across the
country to gather in a big
room and re-organize a
few pieces on a board would seem
ridiculous, but to many the contest
of wills and mental fortitude was
a matter of defending university
honour. This was certainly the case
last month, when my Waterloo chess
team drove to Guelph university
to play in the Canadian University
Chess Championships.
The game of chess has always been
surrounded by an air of mystique and
complexity. To give you an idea of
a typical chess game at the CUCC,
picture the following: You enter the
tournament hall and a tournament
director calls out the pairings. You and
your three team members sit down
side-by-side and arrange your pieces.
You extend your hand, shake with your
opponent and press their clock.
Beyond this brief exchange of
pleasantries, you have no other focus
but to completely and methodically annihilate your opponent’s
king. Each tournament hall houses
roughly 70 people, but the rooms
are eerily silent — with the exception of the constant striking of
chess clocks.
Some players amble through the
first stages of their game quickly,
often rifling through a clean 20
moves of theory before they begin
to think. Others may fail to navigate
the opening with the necessary
delicacy and ultimately tender their

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

resignation before their teammates
begin to play.
Throughout the tournament,
many players will get up and wander
around the room to avoid mental
exhaustion. Unsurprisingly, the
CUCC, which has five rounds in a
short two days is incredibly taxing
— both physically and mentally.
Games can take on average up to
two or three hours, and for many
players it is completely uninterrupted.
Theoretically, the game can take
an almost infinite amount of time;
for every move a player makes an
additional 50 seconds is added to
their clock. My first round game
was a clear example of this when I
wandered into a dubious variation
of the Alekhine’s defence. I ended
up in a losing endgame, but with
careful maneuvering secured a draw.
Sadly, all that maneuvering caused
the game to extend well past lunch
and into my break before the next
round. This kind of exhaustion is all
too typical for a chess player.
The CUCC tournament is divided
into two divisions: A, which is for
the top players from each university
and B, for all other players. Each
university can send as many teams
as they like, however, it is rare that
universities can field more than two
teams and have any expectation of
performing well.
This year Waterloo sent three
teams, one for the A division and
two for the B division.
The A team consisted of Kyle
Morrison, Sheng-Jun Xu, Jamieson Pryor, and Angel Xia. On the
B1 team: Alfonso Cheng, Max
Reznitsky, Iljya Kalai and Kieng Iv.
On the B2 team: Minh Nhat, Scott
Rostrup, Andy Feng and Richard
Demsyn.
When the haze of competition lifted, we found the A

team undefeated and tied
for second place, unfortunately
losing only on tie-breaks (in chess,
ties are resolved by seeing who had
to play the strongest teams).
In the B section Waterloo B2
won first place and Waterloo B1
took second place. As far as my
memory serves me there has never
been a team that has successfully
secured both first and second place
in a division at the CUCC. It was
also unusual that the B2 team outperformed the B1 team.
Some notable performances
were Sheng-Jun Xu on the A team
who scored first place individually
with four out of five points, and
Kyle Morrison, who had a master
strength performance (a chess
master is a player who has been
titled for consistently playing at a
very high rating).
In the B division Iv Kieng tied
for first place individually with four
and a half points, and Andy Feng
with a close second. Alex Pham also
secured the board prize.
Chess is rich with elegant strategies and fascinating tactics. Sicilian
dragons, Spanish binds, English
attacks and more can all be within
your reach if you’re interested. Numerous players have doubled or tri
pled their abilities here at the chess
club within their undergraduate
careers. Yet at the end of the day,
it’s all about playing even just one
really great game.

Put the peas and the scallion in a large bowl. Add boiling
water and stock cube. Stir until tender and cooked through.
Once the peas are soft, remove the spring onion and discard it. Put the mozzarella into a blender and blend until
smooth. Add peas and their liquid and blend until smooth.
Take a large pot and pour all of the soup into it. Reheat until
warmed through and the cheeses and peas meld together.
Ladle soup into bowls and dollop with sour cream. Serve
with bread or crackers.

Alternative flavour dimensions: Sometimes I love to jazz
up the colour and volumize the taste by sautĂŠing a few pieces
of bacon in a fry pan until crispy. I blot the excess oil with paper
towels, then add the bacon to the soup. The crunch factor and
hint of saltiness bring more life to this â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;green with envyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; soup.
If you want spicy sweetness, wash and cut 4 medium sweet potatoes (with their skins on) into 2 inch pieces. Coat evenly with
2 tbsp of olive oil, Â˝ tsp salt, 1 tbsp paprika, 1 tsp cumin, and
1/8 - Âź tsp cayenne pepper. Dump contents onto a baking sheet
at 425F and bake for 35 minutes, stirring occasionally, until crisp
and golden.

dentity crises not only occur
with humans but with fruits and
vegetables as well. I realise that
compared to the scale in which humans
experience identity crises, vegetation
does not quite stack up. However, our
well-being depends on food consumption, so it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hurt to have a better
understanding of the foods that fuel
our bodies, which in turn can assist us
in eating better quality foods.
To determine whether a food item is
a fruit or a vegetable we turn to Enotesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
Science Fact Finder explanation:
â&#x20AC;&#x153;The technical definition of a
fruit is the (often fleshy) part of a
plant that surrounds the seeds. By
this definition, tomatoes, apples,
pumpkins, eggplants, squashes,
rose hips, peppers, peapods, cucumbers, and corn kernels are all
fruits. All other edible plant parts
are considered vegetables. Lettuce,
carrots, and spinach are examples
of vegetables.â&#x20AC;?
Dictionary.com also states that
a fruit is actually â&#x20AC;&#x153;the sweet, ripened
ovary or ovaries of a seed-bearing
plant.â&#x20AC;? A vegetable, in contrast, refers
to a â&#x20AC;&#x153;herbaceous plant cultivated for an
edible part (seeds, roots, stems, leaves,
bulbs, tubers, or nonsweet fruits).â&#x20AC;? So,
to be really nitpicky, a fruit could be a
vegetable, but a vegetable could not
be a fruit.

With this confusion sorted out we
can focus on our fruit du jour, green peas.
When I look at the nutritional values of
peas, they are off the charts and could
definitely give spinach a run for their
money with their eight vitamins, seven
minerals, dietary fiber, and protein. By
eating just a cup of these jade spheres,
you will have 50 per cent of your daily
vitamin K1 needs. This vitamin activates
osteocalcin, which acts like a glue to
hold down calcium needed to maintain
strong bones. The high amounts of
vitamin C found in peas are essential to
the development and maintenance of
scar tissue, blood vessels, and cartilage.
Green peas also contain a large amount
of Manganese. It has many roles which
include the regulation of normal brain
and nerve function. Manganese aids
in the formation of connective tissue,
bones, and blood clotting. Additional nutrients include a great source of dietary
fibre, vitamin B1, folate, vitamin A, and
phosphorus, just to name a few.
With so many health benefits, it is
easy to see why this humble, yet delicious dish has an international reputation. Countries around the world have
their own special adaptation of pea
soup. If we look to our francophone
neighbours, their rendition is a classic
yellow pea soup. Flavour notes in this
national French-Canadian dish include
salt pork and fresh herbs.

Germanyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pea soup also contains
meat, which varies from bacon to sausage or pickled smoked pork known
as kassler. Dark breads such as rye
or pumpernickel usually accompany
the dish.
The Netherlands have a green splitpea soup called Erwtensoep. Hearty
chunks of sausage and pork make this
soup more stew like. It has a very thick
consistency and is enjoyed with bread,
cheese and butter.
Scandinavian countries enjoy their
pea soup with pieces of pork, onion and
herbs in it (carrots would also be nestled
in the soup if you lived in Finland).
Sometimes the pork would be enjoyed
on the side. Mustard would be added to
impart a tangy note. Traditionally pea
soup was eaten on Thursdays followed
by pancakes (depending on which country you resided in it was either eaten as
dessert or as part of the main meal) in
preparation for Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fasting.
Britons refer to pea soup as pease
pudding (pease adapted from the
Latin pisum). It has a thicker texture
resembling that of hummus as well as
a light yellow shade (due to the use of
split yellow peas). Water, salt, spices and
either ham or bacon would be added
to the soup.
tli@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

12

Features

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Making the best of Krap Dinner

D

on’t you just love Kraft Dinner? Isn’t it just the most
delicious meal you’ve ever
had the privilege of experiencing?
And don’t even get me started on
the sheer finesse that sauce preparation requires.
Forget the study of architecture:
Kraft Dinner preparation is truly the
greatest fusion of art and science that
I know of.
The sights — that brilliant,
electric-orange colour seems to be
completely unique to the entity of
the cheese sauce.
The way the pasta glistens in
the light once it’s been coated with
more butter or margarine than you’d
eat in a month (or more, if you’re a
NAA-A0A0
stickler for following
theBLACK
directions
on the box).

The sounds — that brilliant symphony of squishing and slopping
sounds that remind this author of
a night in a bathhouse… Yes, every
minute of the Kraft Dinner experience is sheer heaven.
So for those of you who want
nothing more right now than to
indulge in a box of orange, cheesey
emptiness, drop this paper now and
get some.
For everyone else — that is, those
who have somehow managed to resist
the temptation of lusty macaroni
erotica — we’re talking food today.
Why is it that just because we’re
students, we’re automatically required and expected to eat food
that’s bland, unhealthy, and convenient? Oh, that’s right... because
we’re poor.

You may just find that cooking can be very therapeutic when
you’re not being accosted by the conflicting demons of exhaustion
and starvation (night class, anyone?).
Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. yourself with a hellish schedule that
You may not have a lot of money to doesn’t seem to jive with your culispare, but I urge you to start thinking nary endeavours, consider doing the
differently about your food. Eating as bulk of your cooking on the weeka student doesn’t have to be all KD end, and freezing extra portions to
and instant878118B01_FCB
ramen noodles. Contrary to dish outJan.
throughout
the week. You
11, 2008
popular belief,
it
is
possible
to
eat
healthy,
may
just
find
that
cooking
can be
TD Canada Trust_Student
Banking _N27493
satisfying food on a budget. No lie.
very therapeutic when you’re not
A big reason why we eat un- being accosted by the conflicting
healthy, cheap
food is because it’s demons of exhaustion and starva28_0018_N27493_A2_ST
convenient.
tion (night class, anyone?).
When eating cheap, a little planAlthough it’s probably the most
ning goes a long way. If you find clichéd piece of cooking advice out

there, it really does pay off to plan
your meals ahead. Planning for even
one or two full day’s worth of meals
when shopping will ensure that you
buy and use exactly what you need
–— no more, no less.
When planning your grocery trip,
be sure to be completely honest
with yourself and your eating habits: don’t forget to pick up snacks
and things to munch on in between
meals. Do you really want to be
subjected to the ludicrous price of
vending machine goods when you
can avoid it?
I believe that the key to delicious food on the cheap is to learn
the art and science of doctoring
up dishes.
There is no better way to truly
cheat the system than to turn your
cheap, ordinary food into something
extraordinary with a few simple additions. This is where it’s completely
worth your while to invest in a few
esoteric ingredients — though
they may not be what you’d usually
pick up.
As an example, consider the
following:

Making Kraft Dinner?
• Add some Dijon mustard and
black pepper. It’s a bit of an acquired
taste, but trust me, you’ll never have
a more expensive-tasting macaroni
experience.

Got a pot of rice?
• Throw in some caraway seeds
to the boiling water. The comforting
odour released by those little fruits
will keep you hovering by the stove
every time. It’s the easiest way to give
a deep, rich flavour to your rice.

Vegetarian?
• Try mixing in some jerk spice
with your veggie ground round.
You won’t find a better way to hide
the bland veggie product taste than
this.
Next week, I’ll shed some light
on the best spots to hit for all your
food hacking needs. Until next time,
keep those fists tight!
isherr@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Bank with no monthly fee by
getting a Value Plus Account
for Students. For details visit
tdcanadatrust.com/free

Been outside
of Canada?
Features wants
you!
We need people to help
open UW up to cultural
diversity.
Come share your experiences in
another country with us!

Understanding
student governance
A five-part Imprint special report

Part 1: Structures of Power
January 25, 2008
Part 2: Representation through History
February 1, 2008
Part 3: The Electoral Process in Action
February 8, 2008
Part 4: A Working Dynamic
February 15, 2008
Part 5: Obstacles and Optimism
February 22, 2008

Joanna Sevilla

Understanding student governance

Part 1 of 5: Structures of Power
joanna sevilla

On student societies
David Yip
staff reporter

S

tudent government is definitely not sexy. But it may
provide you with coffee in the morning, in the case of
C&Ds; money, in the case of funding and scholarships;
and potentially fun times, in the case of student events. National
student groups and Feds exec lobby initiatives speak for you
in far-away Ottawa, but close to home — day in and day out
— student societies come up with activities, provide services,
and represent you to your faculty. For example, the Science
Society provides its services as a means of communication
between science undergraduates and the faculty of science.
Somewhere in the middle, of course, is the Feds, representing
you to the university as a whole.
All officially-recognized student societies line up with
the faculties on campus. Arts is represented by the Arts Student Union (ASU), Engineering by the Engineering Society
(Engsoc A & B), Applied Health Science by Applied Health
Sciences Undergraduate Members (AHSUM), Mathematics
by Mathematics Society (Mathsoc), Science by the Science
Society (Scisoc), Environmental Studies by the Environmental
Studies Society (ESS). Even students in Independent Studies
are represented by the Society of Independent Students (SIS).
The School of Optometry and the School of Architecture are
signatory to the Societies Agreement as well. Most faculties
also have codified departmental societies, such as the Political
Science Students’ Association or the Environmental Resource
Studies Students’ Association.
The relationship between Feds and these societies is described by the “Federation of Students Societies Agreement,”
a relatively uninteresting policy document that has four major
sections. The first establishes a Committee of Presidents. If that
sounds powerful, it isn’t, officially, as societies do not having
any decision-making powers except where “explicitly agreed
to by the Federation and the Societies.” Instead, the section’s
role is to provide a space and means for society presidents
to communicate.
The second section is about money. Your tuition bill covers,
obviously, your tuition, but also an assortment of ancillary
fees — some refundable, some not. The university collects
all this money, and gives the society fees to the Feds. In turn
the Feds then hand that cash over to the societies, but only
after the societies have presented a budget. Why the glorified
money laundering? First, the centralized collection of money

is probably much easier. Second, it allows Feds and the other
society presidents to withhold money from societies that
have either acted irresponsibly (at least in a fiscal sense) or
otherwise collapsed.
The third section deals with responsibility. Feds takes legal
and financial responsibility for the activities of the societies. In
practical terms this means society events must be looked at by
Feds so as to ensure that Feds insurance will cover any potential
mishaps.
Finally, the Agreement describes representation. Essentially
it establishes that Feds remains the representative of the whole
student body to university-wide bodies and to bodies outside
the university, except in “matters pertaining to that faculty
exclusively.” As an example, Engsoc represents engineering
students to the Engineering Students Societies’ Council of
Ontario (ESSCO).
Outside of this agreement the societies are autonomous,
having their own budget, their own fees, and their own activities. Each society generally has its own constitution and bylaws,
separate from that as Feds as well. For example, Scisoc collects
$9 from each undergraduate student every term, which forms
the budget of the society. At about 3,000 science students
per term, that’s about a $27,000 budget, which according
to Scisoc President Samantha Brown, mostly goes towards
services such as the yearbook or holding social events such
as semi-formals.
Endowment funds such as the Arts Endowment Fund
(AEF) and the Waterloo Engineering Endowment Fund
(WEEF) are also completely outside the jurisdiction of Feds,
and as such Feds does not have any say over their collection
or disbursement.
While none of this may seem very interesting, it’s important
to know who’s responsible for what. That way when you have
a problem with your fees, coffee, or events, you’ll know who to
blame.
Speaking of which, all the aforementioned societies can be
reached through the UW website, where you’ll find updated lists
of society executive members and (for the really adventurous)
documentation of society constitutions, bylaws, and policies and
procedures. These executive members are excellent resources to
contact regarding society matters; but if for any reason you find
those channels blocked off, you’ll want to speak to the Feds VP
internal to get your issues with society actions sorted out.

T

he Feds umbrella holds under it three primary charges:
the student societies, the student services, and the
clubs. The clubs framework is perhaps the most flexible
of the three. As the societies are tied to university faculties,
departments, and programs, and the services are instituted
by Feds directly (to fulfill an unmet need), it is through the
clubs framework that you and at least six of your friends can
take initiative and form your own group to cater to a student
interest. As of this publication date, there are 112 clubs listed
on Feds.ca.
While clubs gather students around said common interest,
the executive of said club must interact with the Federation
of Students in order to reap any benefits of being an official
club. Getting a club off the ground requires a constitution,
a bit of other paperwork, and the blessing of the Internal
Administration Committee.
Oh, and at least six other people who want to join. That’s
pretty important.
Once the club is up and running, club executives work
primarily with the vice president internal, vice president administration and finance, and the clubs director. On one hand,

(that means you)

clubs can treat these people as “gophers.” Want help with the
club financial statements? Just nag the VPAF. Want your next
event on the event listing? Just send the information to the
clubs director.
On the other hand, all three of those people have the power
to “conduct random reviews of any club ratified by the Federation of Students in order to determine the integrity of the
finances and general operations of the club.” So don’t cheese
them off, and don’t break the rules. (Especially the ones about
having open membership.)
Yes, there are things clubs have to do every term to stay
active — clubs must have an executive every term, there are
occasional club meetings, and there’s other bureaucractic
overhead to go along with that.
But there is an advantage to being an official club rather
than being just a bunch of guys and gals who meet in RCH
every week. Clubs get can get reimbursed for up to $50 a term
if the money is spent on approved club activities. Clubs get
discounted rates for booking facilities such as the Bombshelter.
And, perhaps most awesome of all, is being a club grants you
access to the Feds button-maker. Yes, they have the power to
make buttons.
mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

The federation of students
Guy Halpern
staff reporter

T
student

Board of

council

governors

Feds executive:
President

VP internal

executive

clubs & services

researcher

director

dyip@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A place for student clubs
Michael L. Davenport
assistant editor-in-chief

Shareholders

VP admin
& FINANCE

student
clubs

he Federation of Students (Feds) is the acting representative of the undergraduate student population in dealings with the University of Waterloo, the City of Waterloo, and the Regional Municipality of Waterloo. It works to promote student participation in all
aspects of campus life, including athletic, cultural and social activities, as well as managing a number of businesses on behalf of the
student population. Its executive council is made up of four positions: President, Vice-President Internal, Vice-President Administration &
Finance, and Vice-President Education, which serve on the student council and board of directors, as well as in part on UW administration’s
student life management board and similar inter-campus committees. These executive positions are one-year contracts, with students voting
in a new Feds exec every winter term. If students wish to remove a member of the Feds exec outside those elections, they may conduct
a referendum at the annual geenral meetting or mid-year general meeting. Taken as a whole, the people who inhabit these four executive
positions can be seen as “agents of change” for the student body, mandated not just to maintain but also to improve student life.

President

The president acts as the overarching representative for the
student body in any dealings with UW’s administration, senate, and
board of directors. Although this may sound a bit vague, it includes
meeting with senior administrators and external organizations in
matters that relate to students; for example, in a given week that
might entail meeting with GRT about the U-Pass, leading the undergraduate caucus at the Senate, and meeting with the head of
the staff association.
Along with responding to queries from students and staff, dealing with management and HR issues, and spending time on special
projects, the president also supports the various vice-presidents in
their efforts.
The president chairs the bylaws, policies and procedures committee, the governance review committee, and the board of directors
of the Federation of Students. The president is responsible to the
board of directors on fiduciary issues and the students’ council on
issues such as the Sustainability Office, as well as supervising the
executive researcher and the general manager.

VP Internal

The VP Internal (VPIN) is responsible for a broad array
of portfolios, ranging from the supervision of clubs and Feds
services to ensuring open communication between students and
their representatives. The VPIN also spearheads initiatives relating
to diversity and student life issues, as well as a myriad of other
smaller, more specific committees and areas of focus including
campus sustainability, mental health awareness, health and safety,
LGBT issues, and others.
Although the VPIN’s activities vary broadly on a day-to-day basis,
they include working with the internal funding committee (which
oversees approval of funding for student projects) to sort through
requests, advise students further on their proposals, and submit
requests for cheques. Aside from those major duties, the VPIN also
fields questions from student groups and university staff.
On a practical basis, the only staff that directly reports to the
VPIN is the clubs and services director, although the VPIN also
works closely with positions ranging from accounting to kitchen
staff. The VPIN reports to the board of directors.

VP Education

The VP education (VPED) has a portfolio that in some
ways deals in extremes. While on the one hand the VPED has a
responsibility to students to work on a campus level in dealing with
academic and co-op issues, the VPED also interacts with student
organizations at other campuses on a provincial and national level
and lobbies politicians at all levels of government on issues related
to education and student life.
This translates into day-to-day activities that can vary widely
from conference calls with politicians of all stripes, speeches
on education related topics to students, administrators, and
the community, or simply meeting one-on-one with students
who are having financial or academic difficulties at the school.
This can take the form of helping the student understand their
right to appeal grades or academic offences or simply helping
them work though the various options available for funding
the education.
The VPED reports to the education advisory committee and
the board of directors, and oversees a diverse group of offices
including student financial aid, co-op and career services, and the
government affairs commission.

VP Administration and Finance

The VP administration and finance (VPAF) supervises the
finances of Feds and all related aspects. On a functional level, this
includes working with the general managers of the various Feds
business (including the Bombshelter Pub, Feds Hall, and Federation
Express amongst others) as well as the overarching Feds general
manager. The VPAF’s oversight of the Feds businesses is not
limited to strictly budgetary matters but also includes working on
personnel issues, training, and any sort of licensing issues.
The VPAF position is a varied one in that the issues on the
financial agenda change frequently. Ranging from dealing with the
liquor licenses to Tim Hortons agreements to helping faculty societies create their budgets, all financial and business operations fall
under the VPAF portfolio. The current VPAF, Del Savio Pereira,
also filled in for the Bomber and Feds Hall manager positions
while they were in transition.
ghalpern@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Feds
full-time
staff

Student
services

VP education

Student council and the board of directors
Maggie Clark
editor-in-chief

O

Student
societies

ne of the most important power structures within UW student governance is the balance maintained between the Feds
executives, their board of directors, and student council.
Student council representatives are elected annually by the undergraduate student body during the same elections used to usher
in a new Feds executive. Seats are available according to faculty or
residence, with anywhere between one and five seats allotted to any
one student section on the basis of historical demographic weight.
The student council is responsible for the approval of referenda and
elections (though referenda can also be created through the board and
student petitions), and also has the ability to introduce policy for the
Feds exec to implement on their behalf.

During the Feds board of directors’ annual general meeting,
undergraduate students have the opportunity to promote five
council representatives to serve on the board. This number,
when weighed against the four Feds exec who also sit on the
board, ostensibly shifts the balance of power in favour of student
council, though the Feds still, clearly, have the privilege of being
the board exec.
In practice, this situation places the board of directors and student
council on a fairly equal footing, with Feds both guiding and responding to the decisions of student council. So while Feds provides the
most accessible face of student governance, it bears remembering that
student council is also deeply involved in the policy creation process,
and often equally responsible for the consequences therein.
editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

igh atop its hillside fortress, known to the
naïve as the “Grad House,” the Graduate
Student Association plots to satiate its
members’ hedonism over platters of tiny sandwich
wedges and the limbs of their tutorial students.

Really? Like its undergraduate counterpart
— the Federation of Students — the GSA often
flies under the radar of busy students, despite
the role it plays in organizing social events and
determining academic policy. So if you believed
the above scenario, please keep reading.
Like Feds, GSA offers a number of services
to grad students. Legal and income aid are

regularly available to grad students (income aid
during the March/April tax time), while health
and dental plans are additionally available for
those not covered. Up to $100 is available for
students hoping to organize social events. One
of the more visible services is the Grad House
located next to the Dana Porter Library, which
offers food, drink and events to its patrons.
The GSA has a somewhat similar governance structure to Feds. The GSA Council is
the body responsible for determining the official policies of the organization. Composed
entirely of grad students, membership of the
council is divided into the GSA Executive and
the GSA directors-at-large, along with a single
representative from each department. The
executive consists of a president, currently Ian
MacKinnon, along with three vice presidents
representing operations and finance, student
affairs, and communications and organization.
This group, along with six at-large directors,
make up the ten members of the board of
directors. Committees are also formed to
pursue certain issues.
Explaining the purpose behind this system,
MacKinnon says, “GSA is structured so that a
lot of the activities being run are co-ordinated by
department-level GSAs (think student societies
at the department level). The larger depart-

ments such as civil engineering and psychology
do a great job of this, but some of the smaller
departments may not have the same choice of
activities since they don’t have a large volunteer
base to run program-specific events.”
Though the acclamation of Justin Williams
as Feds President has raised some eyebrows and
prompted concerns about undergraduate apathy,
MacKinnon is optimistic about post-graduate
governance: “I don’t think apathy is a large
problem with the GSA, but the scope of our
operations is a lot smaller than Feds. The grad
student turnout during the bus pass referendum
was almost 50 per cent, so it’s hard to say grad
students are apathetic about student issues.”
In the broader context of student governance, the GSA has had a long-term working
relationship with Feds, with MacKinnon noting
that, “In a lot of cases, such as the health and
dental plan, it makes sense for us to partner up
with Feds to make use of the economies of
scale given to us by combining undergrad and
grad populations.”
As for the relationship with graduate organizations on other campuses? “We’ve only just
started to really interact with other grad associations in Canada,” notes MacKinnon, “so it will
be interesting to see how information sharing
will impact the GSA in the future.”

Don’t miss out on a great housing experience.
Apply now!
Applications are accepted year-round. Seniority
deadlines are always:
- March 1st for Fall,
- October 1st for Winter, and
- February 1st for Spring.

WCRI: A whole new way to live
together!
Contact us today for more
information or to arrange a tour.
web: www.wcri.coop
e-mail: info@wcri.coop
phone: 519-884-3670
address: 268 Phillip Street, Waterloo

Email your questions for Feds candidates to
editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca and we’ll ask the best at the
Feds media forum. Wednesday, January 30, 2008.

t’s funny!” says the technowizard. “It’s funny! You’re not
laughing. You’re not laughing!
LOL! LOL! LOL! ROFL!”
“OMG” says Book, and one cannot help but agree
with him.
In their latest production, Alice (Experiments) in Wonderland,
UW theatre has undertaken a huge step forward in the history
of theatre. Working in collaboration with the theatre departments of Bradley University, Peoria, Illinois. and the University
of Central Florida, Experiments in Wonderland makes use of a new
videoconferencing technology called the Digital Video Transport
System (DTVS). Using this technology, UW Theatre has created a
production involving three casts, three crews and three theatres, all
performing together at the same time from thousands of miles away.
It’s an important, revolutionary step in bringing theatre into the modern
era, as well as a documented historic first, and I can only applaud UW
Theatre for bringing this idea to life. But I cannot in good conscience
send anyone else to sit through this disaster.
I should point out, before anything else, that the technology itself
is not what caused the failure of this production. The three plays are
connected by means of video feeds projected on to three white sheets
suspended above the stage, and for the most part, this connection is incredibly smooth. The play runs as if the three sets of actors were in the
same theatre. It’s not perfect — the positioning of the screens makes
it difficult for the left and right audiences to see the full production
clearly, and certain aspects of the sound and camera placement need
work (to be fair, I wouldn’t be surprised if these things were solved by
the opening night). I also felt that more could have been done with
the various screens to emphasize the connectedness of the three
stages, and the down-the-rabbit-hole nature of the story. However,
all of these glitches are easy to forgive in the context of such
utterly cool technology. It would be like complaining about the
reception range of the very first cell phones.
No, it isn’t the technology that’s caused this production to fail, but the play they chose to stage it with. Put
simply, Alice (Experiments) in Wonderland is a lifeless,
flaccid thing that attempts to make up for its lack
of genuine entertainment through a kind of
desperate exuberance. It’s like being handed
plastic carnations on a first date. Given the
opportunity to work with the story of
Alice in Wonderland, using a set that
incorporates three separate
time-space locali-

Yosef Yip

ties at once (can you feel the
trippiness people?), these three
theatres have combined to create
something that is without sparkle, without
magic — to put it bluntly, without wonder.
Instead, what we get is a painfully meta production that spends half its time accusing the original
book of being out of touch with today’s children and
the other half attempting to be in touch through the means
of “technowizards” and Wikipedia references. It was when
I heard the line, “kids today need action, adventure!” that I
actually started wincing.
Very little remains of Lewis Carroll’s original story, which could
have been for better or worse had any other story actually replaced it.
Experiments in Wonderland instead consists of scenes vaguely drawn from
the original story, as loosely connected as the levels of a video game (and
yes, the scenes are actually referred to as video game levels). On top of
this, although I’m no literary purist, some of the things that have been
done with Carroll’s work are just wrong. Listening to the rap version of “The
Walrus and the Carpenter” is like watching someone savage a kitten.
What disappointed me most though, in the midst of all this, was that
this production has been graced by some of the most lackluster production values I’ve seen out of UW Theatre. The costume design in particular
failed to impress — a few costumes were decent, such as the Book and
the Caterpillar, but the majority looked like something purchased from
a costume store. Tweedledum looked like a cross between Barney and
Bam-Bam Rubble, and as for the white rabbit, let’s just say that very few
stages would be improved by the spirit of Flava Flav.
I would comment on the acting, but the reality is that very little of it
seemed to be taking place. Every actor on the stage spoke in the same
over-loud, round-voweled caricature one would generally expect from
Boffo the Clown. I don’t blame the actors for this — it seemed to
be all that was asked of them.
What really kills me here is that in three separate theatre departments, filled with budding stars, Doctors of Theatre, and some of
the most talented members of the theatrical community, no one
saw this coming? No one said, “Hold on a second, we need to
re-think this?” Was there really no one who saw this script as
the embarrassment it was? Because really, that’s what it has
come down to. By using this new technology, UW theatre
has drawn the attention of the theatrical world, and that
this play, Alice (Experiments) in Wonderland, should be
the vehicle to deliver it there is nothing short of
shameful. I applaud UW Theatre for taking
that huge step forward. I just wish it hadn’t
involved falling flat on its face.
dramsay@imprint..uwaterloo.ca

18

Arts

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Movie Review

Not quite “punk”

D

D/MM/YYYY’s “Batman
Guitar Clock” from their
2007 release, Are They
Masks? It makes a statement and it’s
noisy. Is it punk? Give it a listen.
“Batman Guitar Clock” is a song
that will camp out in your brain. As
tumorous as that may sound, if you
dig it, it’s definitely a song you’ll want
to hear on a regular basis. Lasting a
mere 138 seconds, “Batman Guitar
Clock” is not a lengthy piece, but is
powerfully played nonetheless.
Lyrically the song makes bold
statements with opening lines that
read, “The new thing / Place a crown
on a piece / Of shit now you’re
down on / Your knees and pray to
it.” In the same blatant manner, on
a less corporate and more personal
basis, the song continues with lyrics:
“Oh my God we made/ The team
now lets go/ Snub our old friends.”
Passionate, humorous and intriguing
these lyrics mirror the band’s scattered sound.
Featuring synthesizer, electric
guitar, drums and loud vocals, many
could categorize this song as punk.
However, DD/MM/YYYY categorize themselves on their MySpace as
“rock/ progressive/ new wave,”

leaving the overused and misunderstood “punk” classification M.I.A.
While “Batman Guitar Clock” may
have a sound reminiscent of punk,
DD/MM/YYYY is as versatile as a
well made spork, varying in sound
from song-to-song. This versatility is
something that critics say is evident
in Are They Masks?
The band is made up of Tomas
Del Balso, Mike Claxton, Jordan
Holmes, Matt King and Moshe
Rozenberg. Originating in Toronto,
DD/MM/YYYY is well experienced
in cross-Canada touring. Having
recently preformed shows south of
the border, the band is gaining momentum. Recently NOW Magazine,
recognized DD/MM/YYYY’s Are
They Masks? as being one of “five
local discs [that will] jump-start your
indie cred.” This is a much deserved
title given that the band is now well
established in Toronto’s underground
scene. In contrast, The Onion, a New
York based satirical news source,
recently included DD/MM/YYYY
in their list of “Worst band names
of ’07.”
Although the band’s name is unconventional, I will say that it probably
ranks higher in social acceptability

than some of its “Worst band names
of ‘07” counterparts. They include
the likes of “Car Full of Midgets”
and “White Pee.” Regardless, good
music under an unconventional name
is certainly not a bad thing.
As for “Batman Guitar Clock,” it
is not necessarily playable on all occasions. It is not a song you want to grind
to with an anonymous or significant
other, and chances are it won’t make
for calming study music. In turn, a
good place for this song is on your
personal MP3 player. It’s a fun tune
that will get your head bobbing on
that tedious bus ride. As a result this
song is sure to grow on you. Above
all else, the best setting for any of
DD/MM/YYYY’s music is live in
concert. While this is arguably true
for most music, DD/MM/YYYY
offers an exceptional live performance
that avid fans must attend. Their
next show in Toronto runs Tuesday
January 29.
Chances are not everyone will
like “Batman Guitar Clock”, but
DD/MM/YYYY is a band that
offers more than one sound. For
listeners craving something less
harsh, give a listen to “Mr. T Cereal.” If you desire a little Full House
in your music library, check out
“Twin Star”, a satirical song about
the Olsen twins.
Conclusion: you should make
some space on your MP3 player,
computer, or frontal lobe, for a track
from Toronto’s DD/MM/YYYY. A
good sampling of the band’s music is
provided on their MySpace at www.
myspace.com/ddmmyyyy . For continued updates check out the band’s
website at www.ddmmyyyy.net.
ktremblay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

courtesy new york magazine

Cloverfield
Matt Reeves
Paramount Pictures

I

t’s truly been a while since I’ve seen
a movie without any idea what will
happen. In this day and age, where
trailers give away entire plot lines and
friends just can’t keep their mouths
shut, it’s refreshing to see a movie
that not even the internet can ruin for
you… at least until now. Cloverfield hit
theatres last Friday, and given the prerelease cloak of secrecy surrounding
this movie, chances are that virtually
every blog and self-proclaimed critic
out there is talking about it.
First of all, let’s answer one of the
biggest questions haunting would-be
movie-goers; is the entire thing shot
from the video-camera perspective?
Yes. Is that unfortunate? Certainly
not! While there are definitely those
who will lose their lunches trying to
sit through it, most people should be
able to look past that (so to speak)
and be able to enjoy what the movie
offers. For me, the whole “unedited
video recording” point of view conveys a lot of ideas and emotions that
traditional shooting may miss.
One such thing is the elimination
of many standard movie conventions
in various aspects. The only visuals we
are given are those which are recorded
in said videotape; no camera effects
or sudden scene changes. There is

no musical score, just the sounds that
would typically be heard. Yet, the lack
of these devices works to provide a
greater connection with the plight of
such ordinary characters by taking away
the distracting elements and leaving
only the raw experience itself.
As much as the protagonists of this
catastrophic event want to know what’s
going on, they are completely in the
dark, just like the audience. As much as
they want to know where the creature
came from and what will become of it,
whether their friends and families are
alright, whether they will even survive
this disaster, no one is given an answer.
In sharing this knowledge, or lack
thereof, with the characters, we are able
to sympathize with them on a much
deeper level than traditional movies
allow. We feel glad for their triumphs,
saddened by their losses, and ultimately
become part of the story itself. While
there are a few tricks used by means of
the camera, to shift our attention and
bring us back to reality, the majority of
the movie puts you right at the centre
of the action.
As for whether you should go see
it, I would definitely recommend it,
except to those of you who may get
a little nauseous. And for those of
you who are still wondering about the
monster, yes, you do get a very good
look at it, as well as at its small, slimy,
spider-like parasitic friends.
— Rajul Saleh

STUDENT SPECIAL!
JOIN TODAY!

3 MONTHS FOR

204!

$

*

Lose Weight, Feel Great & Live Longer!
GoodLife makes it all possible.

1-800-597-1FIT or visit goodlifefitness.com
*When joining, you will be required to pay $204 + applicable tax. Membership expires 3 months from date of purchase. Must be 18 years of age or older and show valid student ID. Platinum and
platinum plus clubs excluded. Offer ends January 31st, 2008. Other restrictions may apply, see club for details.

Arts

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

19

Tamas Dobozy reads to St. Jerome’s
Mark Kimmich
staff reporter

T

he St. Jerome’s Reading
Series continued this past
Wednesday, welcoming Tamas
Dobozy as its latest guest. The series,
funded by the Canada Council for the
Arts and organized by St. Jerome’s
English professors Gary Draper and
Tristanne Connolly, allows students
and the public alike to enjoy the work
of a wide variety of Canadian literary
talent while having the freedom to
ask questions concerning the nature
of the guests’ work as well as on the
craft of writing in general.
Dobozy is a native of Nanaimo,
BC and his past works, When X
Equals Marylou (Arsenal Pulp Press,
2002) and Last Notes and Other Stories
(HarperCollins, 2005), both received
wide critical acclaim, with the former
being shortlisted for the Danuta Gleed
Award. The space provided for the
esteemed guest proved to be far too
small as the audience scrambled to
find seats in the sardine can of a
classroom. Dobozy made light of the
overwhelming response to his read-

ing by remarking “I can’t believe the
turnout. The last time I read I ended
up reading to two people at a bar in
New York. It was depressing.” For
the listeners at Dobozy’s Wednesday
reading, though, the experience was
anything but depressing.
Dobozy began writing creatively
as a poet. “But,” he said, “it took me
far too long to realize that my poetry
wasn’t very good.” However, to the
delight of both critics and readers
— though not always publishers
— he shifted his interest to the form
of the short story. “Originally,” said
Dobozy, “I hoped that a collection
of short stories would help me get
noticed by a publisher interested in
publishing a novel.” However, after
attempting to write a novel, he realized
that the short story was the medium
intended for him. “Every time I try
to write a novel, I get to page 80 and
realize that I could say everything I
just said in 80 pages and everything
that I have planned for the rest of
the space in 20 pages. There’s just
too much space!”
Dobozy’s reading was made up
of a story entitled “The Rope of

Names” from an as-of-yet unfinished
manuscript. The planned book is a
collection of connected short stories
centering on the Siege of Budapest,
which took place from December
1944 to February 1945. Dobozy’s
interest in the siege itself stems from
his Hungarian heritage, the fact that
he lived in Hungary from 1992 to
1995 and the idea that the siege is
“a national trauma that Hungarians
won’t discuss.” Dobozy for his part
recognizes the importance of the psychological aspect in his work, though
he did not always. “When a friend
pointed out how often [in Last Notes
and Other Stories] the stories revolved
around characters with mental illness,
I was surprised. I realized though
that the people who surround me
in my life are — probably — crazy,
and I thought they were completely
normal.” Though the psychological aspects of his work are evident,
he says that he made “a conscious
transition from the visual [in When
X Equals Marylou] to the internal
or psychological [in the unfinished
manuscript].”
In his reading of “The Rope of

Names,” his interest in the psychological is clearly evident. The story
follows a former Hungarian informant for Communist invaders who
survived the war and emigrated from
her home to Canada. She eventually
comes across a mysterious man from
her past and what ensues is the stuff
of a deep psychological thriller, set
in Toronto no less. The entire story
revolves around their intense and
interesting relationship, as well as the
important psychological healing that
results from it. Dobozy’s apparent
mantra, that “storytelling is how we
survive,” seems to shed some light
on the story. While he obviously
means this in a literal sense, in that
“storytelling is a recipe for how to
accomplish something,” the progress
that the characters find in “The Rope
of Names” is clearly a result of their
ability to tell their stories.
While storytelling is a survival
mechanism, it is also apparently
reflective of the life that it helps to
maintain. Dobozy’s narrative style,
while it does not fit into the typical
mould, is engaging and fulfilling, much
like the man himself.

Rocky Choi

Dobozy currently teaches in the
department of English and Film
Studies at Wilfrid Laurier University.
The SJU Reading Series continues on
Wednesday, March 5 at 4 p.m. in STJ
3012 with guest Alayna Munce.
mkimmich@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

There’s a “new” holiday in town

I

t’s getting to that time of term
when most of us are looking
forward and feeling the dread of
upcoming assignments and midterms
that (horror of all horrors, some of
us have already had things due). However, we all have a little bit more time
before things become truly hectic,
and maybe that’s why it’s the perfect
time for my favourite “holiday” to be
upon us. Yes again, my dear gaming
friends, it’s time to celebrate Wintereen-mas!
While this year marks the fifth
anniversary of the randomly happened-upon celebration, Winter-eenmas is quickly becoming a gaming
phenomenon of vast proportions.
While the first mention of WEMas,
in Ctrl-Alt-Del.com, wasn’t very epic,
in its second year, steps were taken to
truly develop the holiday as more than
a mere episode from a webcomic. The
storyline and epic-ness of WEMas
has evolved within the comic as too
did the gamers who follow its ideals
in real life.

You’ll
Laugh Your
Head Off!
A collection of
winners from the
London International
Advertising Awards,
these truly are
The Best of the Best
from all around the
Globe!

The 2007
World’s Best
Commercials
NOW PLAYING

RATED
PG

6 Princess St. W., Waterloo 885-2950
www.princesscinemas.com

If you take a look at the comic’s
website, now with a full domain
dedicated to the holiday (www.wintereenmas.com), you’ll find a whole
array of different things you can do to
support the holiday. In the beginning,
the most common way to celebrate the
festivities was to get together with your
buddies and game your brains out for
the week that denoted the merriment
of the end of January (from January 25
to 31). As more and more people got
involved, this slowly this evolved into
bigger gaming parties, such as giant
LAN parties and even meeting up in
MMOs and a large number of other
methods to celebrate and unite gamers
all over the world. The website now
even contains such things as information on how to create your very own
WEMas crown, how to organize a
gaming party and discussion on what
effects such a holiday has on the gam-

ing community on the whole.
My favourite part of this holiday
is that it gives us all a chance to truly
come together as a community and
embrace what we are to the fullest.
Shooter gamers will play alongside
their RPG brethren and maybe even
see what it is that ties them together.
It’s no real coincidence that WEMas
shares some of the language of
Christmas. Just as Christmas’s main
ideals are based on joy and good will
towards men, so too is WEMas associated with the greatest of joy and
sportsmanship: video games.
The comic and holiday creator, Tim
Buckley, says it best in a quote from
the holiday’s FAQ, “Winter-een-mas is
a holiday of sorts. More specifically, it
is a celebration of video games and the
people that play them. Video games
allow us to do things, go places, see
stuff, that we couldn’t do in real life.

They can be an escape from reality, a
release after a long day, a fun activity
with friends, or just an enjoyable way
to pass time. They give us a lot of
entertainment. So why shouldn’t they
be celebrated?” I think this really gives
a good glimpse at not only where the
origins of the holiday truly come from,
but also what it has evolved into.
Though this is something that was
established from pure happenstance
of a webcomic artist’s glimpse at a
better ‘future’ for the gaming culture,
it has evolved into something so much
greater. If you haven’t had a chance
to bring WEMas into your gaming
life, try doing so today! Even if you
can’t fully enjoy all the aspects of the
holiday, you can embrace the spirit of
it and pass out the cheer to others.
Make WEMas cards to give to your
gaming friends, get your girlfriend
playing Duck Hunt or Gears or invite

a random fellow DS player in the SLC
to a game of Mario Kart. Whatever
it takes, make sure you make use of
this special time of year.
Oh, and if your non-gaming
friends look at you funny when you
mention this little tidbit of a holiday,
you can quote the creator, “Much like
you don’t have to be religious to enjoy
Christmas, you can celebrate the spirit
of Winter-een-mas even if you aren’t
a gamer. You can celebrate in your
own way, be it with anime, computers, tabletop gaming, whatever. Just
wish some people a Happy Wintereen-mas and support the nature of
the holiday!” And maybe they’ll be
a little bit more inclined to pick up
that spare joystick you have kicking
around in your closet.
jrickert@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

20

Arts

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

A voice says it all

W

hen I was really young, I
wanted to be a voice actor.
I loved cartoons quite a bit
back then too but before seventh
grade, I didn’t really draw a lot.
So instead, like many geeky kids
back then, I tended to re-enact cool
scenes from things like Batman: The
Animated Series and Beast Machines.
The voices of these characters always amazed me, and they still do.
To lend your voice to an animated
creation is a phenomenon in itself,
and seeing these voice actors and
actresses speak like their characters
is either really cool or extremely
creepy. It’s no surprise that these
voices entertain their cartoon audience.

Note that like most feature productions, the cast makes the characters.
When a script is given to an actor or
actress, (s)he has the job of trying to
immortalize their given role. This could
lead to something amazing like Marlon
Brando’s Vito Corleone from The Godfather, or it could lead to something horrendous, like Ben Affleck’s characters
in anything that isn’t a comedy flick.
While we’re on the topic of Hollywood celebrities, some have been hired
to do some of the most memorable
voices. While voice acting may not pay
as well as live action films, many film
actors and actresses have been able to
create their most memorable characters
through voice-only performance.
Chances are, if you do a main
character’s voice in a Disney or Pixar
animated film, a good number of
people will remember you for being
that specific role. Patrick Warburton for example is known for two
things: David Puddy on Seinfeld and
almost the entire world population of
middle-aged male simpletons in Disney cartoons. He’s known for being
Buzz Lightyear from the Pixar series
of the same name, Kronk from The
Emperor’s New Groove, and Mr. Barkin
from Kim Possible. Other actors and
actresses that have also voiced for
Disney/Pixar include Craig T. Nelson
(The Incredibles), Ellen DeGeneres
(Finding Nemo), Robin Williams (Aladdin), and Kevin Kline (The Hunchback
of Notre Dame).
Voice acting to me is where the necessity of good acting seems to be the
most obvious. A lot of animé fans will
agree with me that until recently, we
preferred to watch animé in English
subtitles with the Japanese voice track
(and some still do). At least with the
Japanese track, most of us couldn’t
1/21/08
1
tell if the3:10
voicesPMin Page
the animation

were sounded as bad as a cat under a
bicycle tire. Now we’re fortunate to
have a more seasoned English-based
voice casting agency that tries to avoid
this problem.
English animé voice actors nowadays tend to be of two main groups:
voice acting regulars, and (again)
Hollywood celebrities. Within regards
to the regulars, voice acting is seen as
more of a priority for them than live
action acting. Voices from personalities like Johnny Yong Bosch, once a
former Power Ranger, and Jennifer
Hale, one of many Canadian-born
voice actors and actresses, know
exactly what their job entails, based
on their experience in animé series
and series-franchise movies known as
OVAs (Original Video Animations).
When it comes to full-length original
feature films however, the voice roles
are usually given to the Hollywood
folk. While some may think of this
as just a cash-cow idea, it helps to
hear familiar voices in animé that are
geared towards casual animé fans,
such as Christian Bale (Howl’s Moving
Castle), Patrick Stewart (Nausicaa) and
Anna Paquin (Steamboy). Although it’s
kind of weird to hear Paquin play a
boy’s voice, it is common ground for
many female voice actresses such as
Nancy Cartwright (The Simpsons) to
play juvenile males.
The voice-acting profession — from
what I’ve seen — is a very competitive and populated field of business.
I wouldn’t know two bits about how
to become a part of it, so I can only
recommend those interested with a few
ideas. Practise unique voices and imitations, audition when ready and possibly
practise some puppeteer or animation
skills; they may serve you well in the
future for this kind of career.
ptrinh@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Acoustic crooner Matthew Barber is playing the last of a string
of shows at the Jane Bond this Sunday January 27. He starts off
the Sibling Rivalry Tour this February with his pop folk blend of
music with a stripped down, drumless band.
Paul Parkman
reporter

S

unday nights this January at the
Jane Bond have been filled with
Matthew Barber’s stripped down
acoustic-pop songs; Willie Nelson
and Randy Travis covers, and Barber’s
sweet and soulful voice. All of this is
in preparation for his upcoming tour
(with sister Jill Barber in what’s being
dubbed as the “Sibling Rivalry Tour”),
in support of his new record Ghost
Notes (due March 4 from Outside
Music). Barber has been using his
series of shows, at the Jane Bond,
as a means of brushing off some of
the cobwebs and getting himself back
into the swing of a live setting, testing
new material and the odd country
cover to boot.
“The Jane Bond has always been
really supportive of me and my music
in the past… so it made sense to use
the Jane Bond as a nice low-key venue,
somewhere where I could work on
newer songs and have fun with it,”
commented Barber in an interview
with Imprint.
As for the upcoming “Sibling
Rivalry Tour” Barber noted that he
will have a band, but that it will still be
pretty stripped down, with no drums;
just Jill and Matthew playing together
with possibly a Les Cooper guitar, and
Paul Matthew (The Hidden Cameras)
on upright bass and maybe even a
piano somewhere in the mix. “It’ll be
a really full sound, but still be pretty
mellowed down,” Barber explained,
“which I think is appropriate for a
tour with me and Jill, and is more of
the way she likes to do things, which
I’m into doing too.”
The new record, Ghost Notes shows
Barber shying away from the rockier
sound of his two previous efforts and
finds him focusing more on a simpler,
stripped-down and rustic sound.
“I just felt like it was time to show
that side of what I do a little bit more
compared to the last record, and I’ve
always done solo shows ever since I
started, and that showed a quieter
side to my music, and I just wanted
to put a bit more of an emphasis on
[the new record].”
Recorded at The Tragically Hip’s

Bathouse Studio in Bath, Ontario in
November (rumored to be haunted),
Barber noted that there were a few
spooky moments while recording,
specifically during the new song
“Somebody Sometime” in which
Barber swears you can hear a voice on
the tape which he hasn’t been able to
pinpoint the origins of. When asked
about the title of the record Barber
recalled a few other surreal moments,
but ultimately noted, “Basically I just
like the ring of it — I like how it just
rolls off your tongue.”
Barber also mentioned that if you
buy the record Ghost Notes there will be
a download code insert, and through
Zunior (an online music store) you’ll
be able to enter in the code to get a
free digital EP of four or five songs
that didn’t make the record.
“I think that the [digital music shift]
has created more access all over the
world,” said Barber. “But having said
that, I also think that people’s attitudes
toward music have become more
disposable. I think I’m old fashioned
in the sense that I do miss albums,
and like music to be appreciated in
the length and package of the songs,
including artwork… but I think that
releasing music digitally is where we’re
heading right now.”
Barber has played three out of
four shows at the Jane Bond so far,
with his last one coming up this
Sunday, January 27. The show should
be something to look forward to as
Barber mixes old favourites and new
little gems into two roughly 45 minute
sets, fulfilling any requests the best
he can while providing the perfect
complement to the Jane Bond’s lively
ambience and casual presentation. It’s
an excellent way to forget the weather
outside and with his unique acousticpop songs it’s something that should
not be missed. The doors open at 8
p.m., and entry is a mere $5, a steal
for such a wonderful songwriter and
strong performer.
Barber will also be back in Waterloo on April 2 at the Starlight in
support of his new album as part of
the “Sibling Rivalry Tour”. For more
details on the tour his new record and
a preview of a few new songs visit
Barber at www.matthewbarber.com.

Deana Bettencourt, We saw you in the
campus question and you are super hot.
Bottom line: I fully support naming CKMS
after you... we should meet up and discuss
this further...Your paramour,Thad
To Stir-Stick girl:
Back on Wed., Jan 16, we were in SLC Tim
Hortons, I was with a wheely-friend.You
commented on how useless stir-sticks are!
I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but
did I miss our connection?? Come track

me down, I’m always on campus! Or maybe
we can have coffee sometimes, stir-sticks
optional?? ;)”
I was introduced to you at FED. Later on
you leaned on me and we started chatting.
You remembered my name and I had seriously forgotten your name. When I asked
your friend for it you blew me off. Next
time you see me in DC say hi...THIS time I
won’t forget your name.
– DMIST
I had nearly forgotten you. So many terms
ago in RUSS391 your Tolstoyan passion
would haunt my dreams. After seeing you
walk by Dana Porter in your characteristic
green scarf, it all comes tearing back into
my mind.You smiled; sit next time. I’ll be
your Pierre; be my Natasha.
– Go Cival

51

56

57

7 5
9
9 5
1
3 4
3
6 1 7
2
9
1
6 7 9
2
8
7
1 5
6 4
2
3 4

To the visitor who I originally thought was a
dream last Wednesday but upon awakening
from my nap found a note from: You never
left a signature and it is driving me crazy
wondering whether I even know who you
are. Please come back to the DP basement
same time on Wednesday, I’m always there.
– JB

Not to be rude or anything, but would you
mind not following me around all the time?
My friends are getting a little tired of you
following them around too. It’s creepy and
not going to net you any points.
Dear Desperate Dreamer,
I read your “Missed Connection”, and
I’m pretty sure you’re writing about me...
but you didn’t leave me enough information to recognize you! How can this be a
two-way street if you keep me in suspense?
Tell me more about yourself.Tell me more
about the dirty thoughts I make you think.
And next time you “lay your eyes on me”,
maybe try laying your hands on me too.You
never know, I might just enjoy it...
Missed a connection? Wanna break the ice?
Email mkimmich@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

“152 more votes than last
time.”

Faraz Warsi

4B science and 2007 VP internal
candidate

“Free Bomber breakfasts for
the rest of my time here.”
Brittany Stewart

3B biomedical science

Science

science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

Welcome to the future of design
Chantelle McGee
staff reporter

W

elcome to the future! It
looks a lot like the fourthyear electrical and computer
engineering students’ Design Project
Symposium. The eighth such annual
symposium, this culmination of three
upper-year design courses, took place on
Wednesday, January 23 and showcased
projects whose purposes ranged from
the whimsical — such as the electric
hookah — to the pragmatic — such
as the colour converter for colour
blindness. The projects demonstrated
student innovation in order to improve
current technology.
Poster presentations covered the
main floor of the Davis Centre, which
was crowded by 9:00 a.m. and grew
more so throughout the day, while
students waited to present their work
to those interested. Most projects had
hands-on demonstrations or videos
showing how the project worked.
The Infusion Cup, awarded at the
end of the day, was given to the design
project team that demonstrated good
planning, technical innovation, marketability and creativity. Dr. Bill Bishop,
fourth year design co-ordinator, said,
“Judging was exceptionally hard this
year.” He pointed to the large number
of phenomenal projects as the reason
behind this difficulty, a sentiment
echoed by representatives of Infusion
Design and Infusion Angel on hand
to award the Infusion Cup.
The $2,000 prize was awarded to the
team that created the Incredible Foosball Machine. Team members Evan
Murphy, Adam Neale, Chris Olekas
and Richard Winograd were “ecstatic” and called the win “absolutely
amazing.” The project consisted of a

mechanical interface where metal rods
mimic the action of rods on a foosball
table. Sensors capture input from the
rods and send it to a computer where
it is rendered into graphics.
According to Neale, the project
has been in development since the
team members were in their 3B term.
“There are four hearts and souls on
this table,” Neale said regarding the
team’s feelings on the project. Future
plans for these Infusion Cup winners
include competing in the Ontario Engineering Competition on February 9
at McMaster University.
The winning project was just one
among many incredible projects. Joanna Ma, along with group members
Lily Chai, William Tang and Dennis
Yan, created the Radio Frequency
Identification (RFID) Smart Office
Environment. The problem they were
trying to overcome was effective use of
office time. An office user’s RFID tag,
which is read once the person enters the
office, allows colleagues to find out if
the person is in the office or not, thereby
saving the time spent hunting someone
down. When questioned about the
experience in designing the project, Ma
replied, “It’s really fun.” It is a good opportunity to see what they can actually
manage after four or five years of the
degree program, she added.
Luc Gallant is a part of the design
team (including Adam Wilson, Kamil
Szynkarczuk, and Michael Klein) that
loves to cycle. They created Ridemate,
an automatic transmission system for
bicycles. Sensors read wheel revolution and pedal direction and feed the
information into a computer board that
adjusts the gears appropriately, creating
a better ride. Gallant said the design
experience was “enlightening.” It was,
he added, a “huge accomplishment for

jenn serec

The Infusion Cup prize-winners stand with their best overall project at the conclusion of the
eighth Design Project Symposium. From left to right: Chris Olekas, Richard Winograd, Evan
Murphy, Adam Neale.
us” to see the project go from paper
to the end product.
Hanif Khalili-Pooya, Sadi Khan,
Abdallah Ibdah, Alvin Fung and
Lakshan Dias created a way to digitize
the health infrastructure in order to
reduce the paper trail associated with
written medical records, as well as
minimize error. The team designed
a “smart card” to be integrated with

one’s Medicare card. The card contains encrypted information such as
patient’s medication history, social
network information, family medical
history and doctor’s prescriptions.
Though there were some development obstacles, the instructors push
the students to plan well, said Dias.
Planning is needed from the beginning, said Ibdah: “Rigorous testing” is
required to minimize the propagation
of any mistakes through the phases
of the project.
Dias said that all the attention his
group was getting from the symposium was “really cool,” and that “it
makes you feel good.”
Dhanashri Atre, Apoorva Mehta,
Jerry Johns and Justin Thomas created
a system that used eye-tracking for cursor control. An infrared LED finds the
centre of the pupil and information
is sent back to a computer program
that tracks pupil movements against a
reference point to determine how the
cursor will move. This design can be
used for computer users with special
needs, gaming or when using an ATM.

Though there is not yet a “click” command, voice recognition software can
be put on as an extension. Thomas
thought the idea stood out because it
targets an audience in need. Though it
is hard to say what will happen to the
project in the future, Thomas hopes
that they will continue to work on it;
he said they had a vision and hopes
his team could follow through on it
and that the finished project “exceeds
expectations.”
Atre said the project was challenging. She stresses the importance
of market research — determining
what is not yet done or what is needed
— when developing a new product.
The design experience is different
from a normal classroom or lab
experience, Johns said. In the design
situation, Mehta added, there can be
imperfection and no details; one has
to design the complete system.
Atre summarized the design symposium experience: “A lot of sweat, some
tears, but mostly smiles.”
cmgee@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Community Editorial — Apple-Mania: Are You a Mac?

S

teve Jobs did an incredible job of
keeping the technological world
on pins and needles in anticipation for Apple’s annual Keynote for
2008. For weeks, the online community
argued about what Apple was going to
come up with next. Bloggers, podcasters
and online computer magazine editors
speculated on the many different rumors accompanied with some inevitable
wishful thinking. One of the most anticipated ideas was that Apple was going to
release a tablet system. Widely respected
blogs in the tech community exclaimed
that it would have a touch screen, come
with a dock, be a digital picture frame,
come with a glass screen, and represent
the manifestation of the wet dreams of
every Mac fan there was.
Well, last Tuesday was Apple’s long
awaited miracle-unveiling day, and while
they did not have a tablet computer,
what was uncovered was even more

intimidating, and to some, downright
outrageous — in a good way.
As lights were dimmed, a new Mac
vs. PC commercial premiered, summing up Apple’s accomplishments for
2007. Following that was Jobs’ opening
speech, in which he talked about how
“extraordinary” 2007 was for Apple.
Jobs’ first announcement was
Apple’s new backup system: Time
Capsule, which will utilize Time Machine, the backup software bundled in
Apple’s brand new operating system,
Mac OS X 10.5, also known as Leopard,
and provide a backup hub of 500 GB
(Gigabyte) or 1 TB (Terabyte,) shared
over a wireless network. That announcement was followed by the declaration of
iPhone’s sales figures. Apple sold four
million iPhones in the first 200 days of
shipping, equivalent to 20,000 per day:
But the crowd still awaited more.
Next came a big one: Jobs announces

that iTunes will now make available
movies for rent on iTunes. He further
announced that they had the support of
every major film studio. Users would be
able to download movies for prices that
range from $2.99 for rentals to $3.99 for
new releases. Users would be able to
watch those movies on Mac, PC, iPod,
or iPhone systems. Time limitations
include 30 days to start watching the
movie, and 24 hours to finish it once it
had begun playing. The service is currently available for U.S. users, and will be
available elsewhere later this year. That
was exciting news which made Apple
TV’s average performance appear to
have some hope. However, the wait for
the big news was over.
Steve announced the latest addition
to the Apple MacBook family: MacBook
Air. The shot was finally administered,
and it was time for the climaxing crowd
to sit back and enjoy the show. MacBook

Air is the thinnest laptop in the world.
At a minimum of $1,799 in price, and
a maximum of 0.76 inches in thickness,
the Air’s thickest part is thinner than
the thinnest part of a Sony TZ series.
The energy-conserving LED screen
lighting, the aluminum casing and the
mercury and arsenic free display made
the Air a much more environmentally
friendly computer than earlier designs.
According to Apple’s website, the Air
meets ENERGY STAR requirements,
and has received a silver star rating from
EPEAT (Electronic Product Environmental Assessment Tool.) This helps
alleviate pressure targeted at Apple from
environmental groups regarding how
their earlier products were negatively
affecting the environment.
The news of this futuristic computer
was not very well received in online
communities. Many expressed their
skepticism and dismay at the major

disadvantage of the absence of a builtin CD-ROM drive. An exterior sleek
CD-ROM is offered as an optional
purchase for $99, and the Air can use
any CD-ROM drives shared over a wireless network. However, the fact that you
need another computer just to install
something from a CD still disappoints
many. Another substantial problem was
the fact that the Air’s battery is built-in
and not changeable by the user as in
earlier MacBook computers, which in
a way defeats the whole ultra-portability
aspect. The big figure at the bottom of
the receipt would not help either.
So, the next few weeks are still vague
for the future of the Air. Practicalityoriented customers would think twice
about it, but “Macheads” in U.S. and
Canada are already placing their orders
for the latest Apple sensation.
— Sherif Soliman

Science

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

23

Epic journey up the fallopian tube

A

lthough you are likely to
feel ill-equipped for having
a child at this point in your
life, realistically speaking, your body
is in prime condition for conception.
Wow, isn’t that a scary thought? And
as you fling that condom into the
trash can, you can almost hear the
little spermatozoa wail in failure
of their life destiny — rescuing the
princess egg from her dark, moist
tower. Don’t get too empathetic,
though — please the spermies,
and you will have another wailing
bundle of joy nine months down
the road.
So, what is behind fertilization?
For guys, they’re ready every day.
The male body produces, on average,
85 million spermatozoa per day
per testicle. This equals to more
than a quadrillion sperm cells in a
lifetime. Per ejaculate shot, between
200 and 600 million spermatozoa

are released, which is enough egg
competition to use contraception
during intercourse, taking into
consideration that it only takes one
sperm cell to fertilize a female egg.
The female egg, on the other hand,
is released only once a month and
is fertile for 10 to 24 hours before
it is flushed out of the body.
The female reproductive system
is located in the pelvic area, which is
where we will focus. Only, to make
the journey more engaging than
high school gym sex-ed, we will
now take the perspective of sperm
and egg. This is Taylor and Ernie’s
heroic journey through the female
reproductive system on their way to
meet Mamba, the egg.
You and the gang of spermatozoa
you grew up with are excited. You
have fnally made the journey from
the testicles of your owner through
the urethra and out the head of the
penis with

extreme speed
and agility! You
are now in a new,
fleshy, unknown
area. But where
t o n e x t ? Yo u
are all anxiously
bumping into the
fleshy walls, and
less than 90 seconds later, find an
opening, and the
crowd attempts to
swim through all
at once. You enter
a wide tunnel, like
a canyon.
Congratulations! You have
made the journey
through the vagina, where you
entered, through
the cervix and into
the uterus! The
gang gives a little
cheer. Plus, there
is more mucous
here which makes
it easier to swim.
You know this
is the right way
as you sense the
warmth at the end of
the tunnel; it guides you
through the canyon with into
a Fallopian tube, and this tunnel
is much more narrow.
As you look around, there
appear to be less of you than
you started with — some of the
gang must have got lost along
the way, and Ernie is nowhere
to be seen…yet the warmth is
undeniable now, and you carry on
to find the source of the heat. The
journey is long and exhausting;
the tunnel winds and seems to
carry on forever. You are tired
of swimming, but the intriguing
warmth keeps you focused, until,
finally, you see it…
…Mamba is sitting comfortably
at the end of the Fallopian tube,
just outside the ovary where she

Joyce Hsu

was made. She’s a bit bored as
the other eggs in the ovary still
have a month to go, and there is
nothing to do but mature and wait
until the commotion coming from
the Fallopian tube settles down.
Whatever could that be?
Sounds so loud! She has been
here for a good 10 hours, and has
only about 14 fertile hours to go…
“Is anyone even coming to keep me
company?” she begins to wonder,
and just then she sees the swarm
of spermatozoa heading right for
her…
…Taylor sees Mamba at once and
knows what he must do. He swims
ahead of the crowd and attaches
himself to the bubble Mamba is
inside of. He begins to burrow in

with all the strength he has left. This
bubble is called zona pellucida, and
it must be penetrated in order for
fertilization to take place. Taylor
is propelling himself using his tail
with all his might, until, at last, he
breaks through the barrier and joins
Mamba. Bingo!
In three days’ time, after some
cellular development has taken
place, this union will travel back
down the Fallopian tube in at
attempt to attach itself to the uterine
wall and develop into an embryo.
Mamba and Taylor have fulfilled
their destiny, and will now work
together for the next nine months
to develop into a fetus.
alomako@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

24

Science

Adrienne Raw
science editor

Supercarrot takes flight

A genetically engineered carrot
provides more calcium to the body,
according to a U.S. team at the Baylor
College of Medicine in Texas. One of
the carrotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s genes has been altered,
allowing the calcium within the carrot to cross more readily over plant
membranes. As a result, a person eating the new carrot can absorb 41 per
cent more calcium than if they ate the
old carrot. The genetic engineering of
carrots is only the latest in a long line
of vegetables getting genetic makeovers. Both broccoli and potatoes
are also being engineered to be more
health-friendly. Work on broccoli will
increase its sulforaphane content,
a chemical that may help ward off
cancer. Potatoes, meanwhile, are being
developed with more starch and less
water, allowing them to absorb less oil
when cooked. In the case of the carrot,
scientists hope it will ultimately offer

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

a healthier way of consuming calcium.
Dairy products currently represent the
primary source of calcium, but can
cause allergic reactions in some and
concerns about their high fat content
in others. Though scientists have high
hopes for the genetically engineered
vegetable, they admit that much more
research needs to be conducted before
the supercarrot would be made available to consumers.
Scientists create beating heart
in lab

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s alive! A breakthrough procedure
by scientists from the University of
Minnesota has created a beating heart
in a laboratory. The procedure involved stripping all existing cells from
a dead heart, leaving behind only the
protein skeleton that created its shape.
The skeleton was then seeded with live
stem cells that eventually grew back
over the skeleton and linked together
to form a new organ. The cells used
to seed the organ would come from
the prospective patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own stem

cells, reducing the risk of rejection.
Currently the highly experimental procedure has only been performed with
rats and pigs. It is still a long way away
from being performed with humans,
but scientists hope the breakthrough
could one day allow doctors to make
a range of transplantable organs and
blood vessels, customized with the
patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own cells, from scratch.
Electronic nose detects human
illness

Engineers are currently developing electronic versions of medical
practitionersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; oldest diagnostic tool:
the human nose. The new technology will analyze the unique odours
of diseases, allowing doctors to
diagnose illnesses from pneumonia
to lung cancer based on smell. The
odours of different diseases arise in
several ways. Bacterial infections can
be diagnosed by characteristic scents
in gases emitted by the bacteria. Nonbacterial illnesses, such as diabetes,
can be diagnosed by biochemical

changes prompted by these illnesses,
which alter the scent of the human
body. These odours can be difficult
for the human nose to detect and
identify. The new electronic nose
technology, originally developed
for other uses such as sniffing out
chemical leaks, can distinguish and
analyze the subtle scents found in
human breath, urine, blood and other
bodily fluids. Although the current
technology isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t perfect, it can be
used as a screening process to identify

patients who should undergo further
testing. The electronic nose is not, at
the moment, a widely used technology, but doctors hope it can someday
be used as a less-invasive technique
that can speed up the diagnosis of
illnesses and identify diseases in their
early stages.
â&#x20AC;&#x201D; with files from BBC News, The Sunday Times and Scientific American
araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

JANUARY 25 ONLY IN THEATRES

Sports

sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, January 25, 2008

uw track team off and running
Track team sets
personal bests on the
weekend despite lack
of training facilities at
Waterloo

recruit top talent. As such, training takes
place at both the PAC and the Waterloo
Rec Centre. Despite the lack of a track, the
campus facility offers a 30m rubber straight
away, hurdles, high jump, shot put circle and
conditioning equipment. The team also make
regular use of the weight room and use the
pool for post-event recovery.
Team captain Jenna Bell hopes that the
return of all four members of the women’s
relay team will “better previous results and
again qualify” for the CIS championships
following last year’s end of a four year
drought. She added that despite there only
being seven members of the women’s team
they “are quite good at holding [their] own
at competitive meets.”
The season continues at McGill for the
Team Challenge on the weekend of January
25-26, and a potential season finale at CIS
championships on March 6-9.

Tom Ellis
staff reporter

T

he 2008 track and field season is
underway, with the Warriors making
a flying start recording 25 personal
bests at the Can-Am Classic on the weekend
of January 11-12, to add to the total of 45
for the season. With events scheduled for
all but two weekends until mid-March, the

Kyle Raymond in the 4x200m relay.

photos courtesy UW track team

Jaime Hausemen showing the intensity of the UW track team in the relays.
Warriors are hoping they can keep building
on these early successes.
Head coach, Jason Dockendorff, is not
surprised with the strong start to the season
claiming that “due to a slightly different
training regimen the expected results are
now surfacing.” The ultimate aim this season
is to “qualify many of our athletes to the
national championships, to have the highest
team placing and most representation at the
CIS championships.”
Based on preliminary results, these aims
are highly achievable both this year and in
the future, with Dockendorff adding that the
team “has an excellent group of freshmen to
carry us through the next few years.”
The basis for success this season will
be teamwork, something the Warriors have
in abundance, despite track and field being primarily an individual sport. Some of
this season’s best results have come in the
relay, a team event, with both the men and

women’s 4x200m and 4x400m teams in the
CIS top 10.
Other outstanding results this season have
seen top 10 CIS finishes for Jeremy Yang in
the high jump, Colin Lawrence in the 1000m
and with Kate Bickle showing lots of early
promise with strong splits in the relays. The
men’s 4x800m team of Colin Lawrence, Alex
Magdanz, Wesley George and Colin McLean
have also impressed with a top eight CIS
time of 8:11.21.
According to Coach Dockendorff, the
“greatest chance for CIS level success lies with
varsity record holder, and team captain Jenna
Bell.” Bell competes not only in Pentathlon
where she is ranked fifth nationally, but also
in the 4x200m and 4x400m relays described
by the coach as “a feat not many can do.”
These results are even more impressive
when one considers that the UW team lacks
a full sized competition track, something
which other universities offer and use to

tellis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UW track team captain Jenna Bell.

Something amiss with CIS
The NCAA flourishes with millions pouring in, while the CIS flounders

T

he Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl and
March Madness. These are terms that are
very familiar, to football and basketball
fans here even in Canada. The pervasiveness
of the NCAA reaches across the border, as
college bowl games and the annual March
Madness basketball tournament receive prime
billing on the Canadian sports channels. While
their Canadian equivalents the Vanier cup and
the Canadian Interuniversity Sports basketball
championships pass by with little to no fanfare
or recognition.
The irony of American collegiate sports
having a higher profile in Canada than local
collegiate sports is both disheartening and
disappointing. The NCAA was able to bring
in revenues of $564 million U.S. in 2006, $508
million of which came from television and
marketing rights fees. It also recently signed a
$6 billion USD television deal with CBS which
runs through 2013.
The above figures don’t include tickets, concessions or local advertising revenue which is
left up to the individual universities. Top division
I teams in the NCAA bring in tens of millions
of dollars in revenue from their sports teams
and millions more from alumni contributions.
The University of Texas generated more than
$47 million in revenue from its football team
alone in 2003-2004. By contrast; the Canadian
Interuniversity Sports federation (CIS) does
not have any national television contracts and

The CIS and the heads of the Canadian university system need to ask
themselves, whether sports are an expense or an investment for schools.
few major national sponsors. The revenues
generated by the CIS are paltry compared to
the NCAA. Canadian universities are often
deep in the hole from running competitive
athletic programs, while their US counterparts
rake in millions of dollars of profit from their
varsity teams.
The funding squeeze that Canadian universities have faced in the past decade have only
intensified calls for already underfunded sports
programs to be cut even further. The funding
differences between Canadian and American
schools highlight the gap between athletic
programs in the two systems. Top American
universities jet their players around in private
charters and spend millions on building world
class training facilities.
Meanwhile, here in Waterloo, the athletics facility doesn’t even include a track. Elite
high school athletes from Canada often leave
for greener pastures in the States where the
lure of full athletic scholarships, higher levels
of competition and national exposure prove
much more tantalizing than the prospect of
playing for underfunded teams in front of
sparse crowds.

The NCAA board of directors recently
approved a measure that would allow non-US
schools to join the NCAA. Rumours are already
swirling that UBC, Simon Fraser and several
other western CIS schools are considering a
defection south, tempted by the lure of higher
revenues. The inability of the CIS to raise the
visibility or revenues of Canadian university
sports, spurs a vicious cycle where a lack of
funding leads to sub-par facilities, talent drain
to the south, little media attention or fanfare,
and creates a perception that university sports
in Canada are third-rate.
The million dollar question is: why haven’t
university sports taken off with the Canadian
sporting public? University hockey is totally
ignored for the OHL game, whereas the American collegiate system has a vibrant and devoted
following in the Northeast and places like Minnesota, and the Dakotas.
Unlike the American university system, the
Canadian schools do not act as a major developing ground for the pro-sports leagues. Part
of the excitement surrounding NCAA games
is witnessing the development of future NBA,
NFL, MLB, and NHL stars. CIS football man-

ages to send a handful of players to the CFL
each season, but, the majority of CFL players
still are NCAA alumni. Most of this tracks back
to the lack of funds and facilities to attract elite
athletes to Canadian universities.
The CIS and the heads of Canadian university system need to ask themselves whether
sports are an expense or an investment for
schools. University athletics programs act as an
important feeder to Canadian, international and
Olympic programs. The degradation of sports
programs at universities also damage Canada’s
standing on the international sports stage.
At a time when sedentary lifestyles and
obesity are on an intrepid rise, Canada’s public
education institutions should be seeking to promote a more active lifestyle among students. A
strong sporting culture headed by the school’s
varsity teams will promote greater interest in
sports and healthy living that can last a lifetime.
The only way for this to happen is a financial
investment and commitment by Canada’s universities to rebuilding university sports into a
highly visible self-supporting entity.
yliu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UPCOMING
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Come walk or skate in support of the
Alzheimer Society, “Manulife Walk for
Memories” from 2 to 4 p.m., Waterloo
Memorial Rec Complex. Registration
begins at 1 p.m. Register online at www.
walkformemories.ca or call 519-7421422.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Ladies WOW Fun Seminar Series – 6:30
to 10 p.m. at the Arthur and area Community Centre. For more info call Wendy
at 519-342-4029 or wsmith@wisemoove.
com.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Free Mock LSAT Day – write a free Mock
LSAT, brought to you by The Princeton
Review. Register by calling 1-800-2review
or visit www.princetonreview.com. Room
to be announced.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Rotunda Gallery presents “Mapping of

Classifieds
HELP WANTED

a Quest - Soheila Esfahani.” Opening reception is from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Gallery,
200 King Street, W., Kitchener City Hall,
Kitchener.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Heart Matters Film Festival dedicated
to the memory of Michael Bird and Tim
Walker. The two films shown will be Field
of Dreams and The Edge of Heaven, at
the original Princess Cinema at 6:30 p.m.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Women’s Crisis Services of Waterloo Region is proud to present “Hockey Night in
Waterloo Region with NHL hockey legend Darryl Sittler,” at St. George Banquet
Hall, 665 King Street N, Waterloo. Call
519-653-8966, ext 239 or shelly.friesen@
wcswr.org for more info.

STUDENT AWARDS
FINANCIAL AID
2nd floor, Needles Hall, ext 33583.
Please refer to safa.uwaterloo.ca to view
the current loan pick up procedures and
full listing of scholarships and awards.
January 25: Final OSAP application
deadline (with reduced funding) for fall
and winter term. Deadline to submit
Signature Pages and supporting documentation for fall and winter term. Last
day to submit OSAP Rollover Form to
add winter term to fall only term.

VOLUNTEER
Volunteer with a child at their school
and help improve their self-esteem
and confidence. One to three hours
a week commitment. Call Canadian
Mental Health 519-744-7645, ext
229.
City of Waterloo, 519-888-6488 or
volunteer@city.waterloo.on.ca has
the following volunteer opportunities: “55+ MC for Friday Flicks and
Hosts/Hostesses” – for afternoon
drop-in programs. Call for more info.
“Uptown Country:Print and Publications Designer and Website Designer” needed now until June. “Buskers
Carnival: Logistics Coordinator and
Director of Corporate Sponsorship”
needed for this high-profile festival.
Volunteer Action Centre, 519-7428610 or www.volunteerkw.ca, has
many opportunities available – visit
the website or call today!
The Kitchener Youth Action Council is currently seeking volunteers
aged 14-24 who are concerned
about issues facing youth and young
adults across Kitchener. For more

CHURCH SERVICE
St. Bede’s chapel at Renison College
offers worship on Sundays at 10:30
a.m. and 4 p.m. or take a break midweek with a brief silence followed by
Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays.
Come and walk the labyrinth the second Thursday of each month, 8 a.m. to
8 p.m. For more info contact Megan at
519-884-4404, ext 28604 or www.renison.uwaterloo.ca/ministry-centre.

869-6083 between 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Eastern time on weekdays for more
information. info@islandlake.com.

HOUSING
Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and
comfortably right across the street from
school in this beautifully renovated
apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases
available with excellent signing bonuses
and rental incentives! Call Darlene or
Joanne at 519-746-1411 for more details.
Apartment for sale – condo apartment,
two bedrooms, indoor parking. Harvard
Place, Waterloo. $145,000. Call Richard
at 519-579-2920.
Two to seven bedroom houses available for May or September. Over 300
options! Houses or apartments, large
rooms, back yards, free laundry and
parking, bright and many newly renovated. Showings starting now so don’t
delay! www.domushousing.com or call
519-572-0278.
Spacious, well maintined house available to rent at 11 McDougall Road.
Only five minute walk to UW campus.
Utilities and internet included in rent
of $425/month. Contact 519-893-2000
or rooms4students@gmail.com.
Four/five bedroom house for rent.
Close to UW. Call 1-905-509-3284 or
e-mail gord010@sympatico.ca.

SERVICES
Med school interview? Practice makes
perfect. Half-day seminars by former
chair of admissions at a Canadian medical school. Improve skills/confidence.
E-mail: cmsac@rogers.com.

Athletes of the Week
Art Hare - Swimming
Art, a 5th year Math student from Belleville, Ontario won the 100m fly and
100m back events this past weekend at Laurier. Art's winning performance in the
100 fly was a lifetime personal best by more than 1 second. He also lead off the
200m medley relay for Waterloo which also placed first. Art has been consistently improving throughout the season and is setting himself up to contend at
both the OUA and CIS Championships.

IMPRINT | JANUARY 25

Gillian Maxwell - Basketball
Gillian, a 5th year Human Resources student from Kitchener, Ontario led the
Warriors to two critical road victories this past week. On Wednesday at Brock,
Gillian led the Warriors back from 16 points down in the first half, scoring a
team high 16 points and adding 7 rebounds, in a 59-55 win. On Saturday at
Laurier, Gillian scored a game high 22 points as the Warriors defeated the third
place Golden Hawks 84-68. The win moves the Warriors into a tie for fourth
place in the OUA West division and pulls them to within 2 points of third place
Laurier. Gillian was also named OUA Athlete of the Week.