Let’s talk about love, that wonderful thing
Let’s blend the scent of Venice with Paris in Spring
Let’s gaze at that moon and try to believe
We’re Venus and Adonis, or Adam and Eve
Let’s throw away anxiety, let’s quite forget propriety
Respectable society, the rector and his piety
And contemplate l’amour in all its infinite variety
My dear, let’s talk about love.
Pretend you’re Chopin and I’ll be George Sand
We’re on the Grand Canal and, oh baby, it’s grand!
Let’s mention Walkures and helmeted knights
I’m beautiful Bruennhilde, you’re Siegfried in tights
Let’s curse the asininity of tribal consanguinity
Let’s praise the masculinity of Dietrich’s new affinity
Let’s picture Cleopatra saying “Scram” to her virginity
My dear, let’s talk about love.
The weather’s so warm and you are so cute
Let’s dream about Tahiti and tropical fruit
I’ve always said men were simply deevine
(Did you know Peggy Joyce was once a pupil of mine?)
Let’s gather miscellania on Oberon’s Titania
Or ladies even branier who’ve moved to Pennsylvania
(Bucks County, so I hear, is just a nest of nymphomania)
My dear, let’s talk about love.

My buddies all tell me selectees
Are expected by ladies to neck-tease
I could talk about love and why not?
But believe me, it wouldn’t be so hot
So

Let’s talk about frogs, let’s talk about toads
Let’s try to solve the riddle why chickens cross roads
Let’s talk about games, let’s talk about sports
Let’s have a big debate about ladies in shorts
Let’s question the synonymy of freedom and autonomy
Let’s delve into astronomy, political economy
Or if you’re feeling biblical, the book of Deuteronomy
But let’s not talk about love.
Let’s ride the New Deal, like Senator Glass
Let’s telephone Ickes and order more gas
Let’s curse the Old Guard and Hamilton Fish
Forgive me, dear, if Fish is your favorite dish
Let’s heap some more profanities on Hitler’s inhumanities
Let’s argue if insanity’s the cause of his inanities
Let’s weigh the Shubert Follies with The Ear-rl Carroll Vanities
But let’s not talk about love.
Let’s talk about drugs, let’s talk about dope
Let’s try to picture Paramount minus Bob Hope
Let’s start a new dance, let’s try a new step
Or investigate the source of Mrs. Roosevelt’s pep
Why not discuss, my dee-arie
The life of Wallace Bee-ery
Or bring a jeroboam on
And write a drunken poem on
Astrology, mythology
Geology, philology
Pathology, psychology
Electro-physiology
Spermology, phrenology
I owe you an apology
But let’s not talk about love.

Let’s speak of Lamarr, that Hedy so fair
Why does she let Joan Bennett wear all her old hair?
If you know Garbo, then tell me this news
Is it a fact the Navy’s launched all her old shoes?
Let’s check on the veracity of Barrymore’s bibacity
And why his drink capacity should get so much publacity
Let’s even have a huddle over Ha’vard Univassity
But let’s not talk about love.
Let’s wish him good luck, let’s wish him more pow’r
That Fiorella fella, my favorite flow’r
Let’s get some champagne from over the seas
And drink to Sammy Goldwyn
Include me out please.
Let’s write a tune that’s playable, a ditty swing-and-swayable
Or say whatever’s sayable about the Tow’r of Ba-abel
Let’s cheer for the career of itty-bitty Betty Gra-abel
But let’s not talk about love.
In case you play cards, I’ve got some right here
So how about a game o’ gin-rummy, my dear?
Or if you feel warm and bathin’s your whim
Let’s get in the all-together and enjoy a short swim
No honey, I suspect you all
Of bein’ intellectual
And so, instead of gushin’ on
Let’s have a big discussion on
Timidity, stupidity, solidity, frigidity
Avidity, turbidity, Manhattan and viscidity
Fatality, morality, legality, finality
Neutrality, reality, or Southern hospitality
Pomposity, verbosity
You’re loosing your velocity
But let’s not talk about love.