^^I haven't read your whole journal, so I'm not sure the whole back-story with email buddy, but have you guys ever met? The issue is that she comes off as half-hearted because she is inconsistent right? Maybe when you didn't respond with your usual punctuality, it made her realize how annoying and it is to wait on someone's response, and all the emotions that go along with that, like I personally feel insignificant and hurt when someone does that to me, especially when it's someone that I am or have been close too(and maybe that's wrong of me to expect anything from anyone, this goes back to my recent thread)--maybe it made her feel that the tables had turned in a way....

I have a friend who does this, it's usually after she has bailed on me, she will text me to say "hey" weeks later and if I don't respond right away (I usually respond to texts as soon as I see them) it's like she gets paranoid that I have dropped her and then she will put in more effort for my attention for awhile--but then inevitably it always goes back to her being more aloof.

I bought The Terror...I'm gonna read it during my vacay in two weeks!!!

I have a friend who does this, it's usually after she has bailed on me, she will text me to say "hey" weeks later and if I don't respond right away (I usually respond to texts as soon as I see them) it's like she gets paranoid that I have dropped her and then she will put in more effort for my attention for awhile--but then inevitably it always goes back to her being more aloof.

It looks like the same thing here. She got worried that I didn't respond quickly like usual, but then when I did she was in no hurry to write any more. With her I feel used in a way, since she knows I am attracted to her. Ii really should stop writing but it's tough.

Brighter and brighter

My grandpa passed away fifteen years ago today. He was a great influence on my life.

My family visited my grandma today and as they talked about him I remembered fall Saturdays watching Ohio State football with him in their family room. We'd predict scores, and he'd shine me on saying Ohio State was going to lose every tough game. I would get so nervous during games I couldn't sit still, and he'd laugh and tell me I was making him nervous.

I can still here is deep voice in that southern drawl.

It's true, that quote in Watchmen, as you get older the past gets a little brighter every year.

Update

Not much going on. Still single haha.

Work picked up big today for the first Monday after the holidays. No major complaints. Got a good 90-day review. Not one negative comment in it.

Was stupid good at lunch hour basketball, despite not hoisting one shot in like three weeks until today. Being in the best shape I've ever been in allows me to make some stupid shots. Hit two nasty no-look turnarounds, one which was a game-winner. Basketball's all muscle memory, and I'm starting to get more of a feel for what I can do with my body these days. Endurance is way up to.

Ball and Balls: A Funny Basketball Story

Not supposed to mean anything to anyone, but just so it's documented...

Today in work basketball at the company gym I made one of the coolest shots ever. Second game. Did not shoot well in the previous game. I was frustrated. In 3 on 3 I own, but we had 4 on 4 today and it's not a big court. So I was dribbling, and I usually can't handle the ball well. A guy who loves to help double team me came over to help the guy guarding me. I was basically suck in a corner outside the 3 point line on the right side. I kept my dribble low, because the guy helping out loves to steal. I spun off him, re-gathered, went to crossover left-to right. Oops. Hit myself in the nuts with the ball. Not exactly what I had in mind. Okay. I corral it again and dribble it low with my left hand as both defenders blow by biting on the crossover. I pull up and shoot and the ball flies in. At least four guys yell "OH!" I looked at both of them. It wasn't me trying to be disrespectful, but I had been so frustrated before that shot because I wasn't hitting anything.

A guy in my department (he' sin his fifties) who always plays said, "He had that look in his eye."

Sent email buddy a brief one with a couple of pictures just to say hey. I like talking to her I can't help it. Things feel a little different when we haven't spoken in a while, and I really wish that wasn't the case. She's with someone else and we've never even met, but I mean we've been talking, kind of off and on, for almost two years. I often wish I could just let it go like Frozen. At some point, you should stop hanging onto what's basically the memory of a person, I suppose. I think she fills a void in my life though for female companionship. I'm like yay me I'm talking to an attractive woman! I don't know. New job, more money than I can spend, and it feels like somebody's missing.