Why I’m Not Cool with My 96% White Church

After three months of driving around town with a burned-out left tail light on my mini-van, I finally got it repaired. I don’t know what took me so long. It was just one thing after another – the holidays, a trip to Minnesota (in our other car, the one with both tail lights working), a looming book deadline, soccer games and choir rehearsal and “Mom, I’m out of clean clothes” again. I know, I know. No excuses really. It’s not safe to drive around with a broken tail light. I know this. But I did it anyway.

There’s a reason I’m telling you about my broken tail light. A few weeks ago my friend Shannon mentioned something in a blog post that caught my eye. Turns out, her son had been driving around with a burned-out tail light too. The difference was, his tail light was broken for less than 36 hours before he got it fixed, but in those 36 hours, he was pulled over by the local police four times. The fourth time ended with him sitting on the curb while the officers searched his car for drugs, of which there were none.

“It doesn’t matter that he’s never had a drug charge,” Shannon wrote. “What matters is that he’s black. He’s young. He has ‘that look.'”

That declaration stopped me in my tracks. Suddenly I understood, in a real, in-my-face kind of way, what white privilege is and exactly how I benefit from it. That young black man and I committed the exact same infraction. Robert paid a price (the inconvenience of being pulled over four times; the humiliation of sitting on the curb while the officers searched his car for the non-existent drugs; the hassle of having to get his tail light fixed ASAP) because he is black and male. I didn’t because I am white and female.

Now you might argue that there are other factors in involved. And it’s true — I’m a 45-year-old woman. I have noticeably gray hair. I drive a mini-van, the be-all and end-all of mom-mobiles.

You might argue that you, too, have been stopped for a broken tail light. Or your son has. Or your neighbor has. And you’re white (or your son or your neighbor is). So what’s my point?

My point is, even if you, as a white person, have been stopped for a broken tail light, I doubt you were stopped four times. In less than 36 hours. And if you have been stopped for a broken tail light, I doubt you were asked to step out of the car and sit on the curb as the traffic whizzed past and everyone craned their necks to look at the spectacle of flashing blue lights as the officer searched your car for drugs.

I drove my car for three months with a broken tail light, and I was not stopped once. I had the luxury of taking my sweet time getting it fixed. That’s called white privilege.

My friend’s black son drove his car with a broken tail light for 36 hours and was pulled over four times. He couldn’t wait until it was convenient for him to get his car fixed. He had to do it immediately, for fear of getting pulled over a fifth time. That’s called racism.

And for those of us who are churchy, religious types, it’s also called a sin. Racism is a sin.

We don’t think of racism as a sin, do we? We think of racism as wrong, and bad, and something that other, bad people participate in – red-necky type people who use words that begin with the letter “n” and the like. But most of us white people don’t think racism has really much to do with us. We don’t think of racism as a sin because that would implicate us. Defining racism as a sin suggests that we might play a role in racism too.

I’m glad the ELCA is taking steps to confront racism and our role in it. My denomination of four million people is 96% white. Racism and white privilege and what we can or should do about either isn’t exactly on our radar. But it should be and it needs to be, because of this:

“You are the body of Christ, and each of you is a part of it…If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” (1 Corinthians 12:27 & 26).

What Paul declared 2,000 years ago is still true today. We are all part of one body, the Body of Christ, and when one part of that body suffers, we all suffer.

Friends, part of the Body of Christ is suffering badly, has been suffering badly for hundreds of years. Our black sisters and brothers are suffering terribly, and we are looking the other way. We are doing nothing. We don’t even notice what’s happening because we don’t have to – we have the privilege of not noticing.

Case in point:

My church broadcast Bishop Eaton’s “Confronting Racism” live webcast last Thursday evening. It was advertised in the worship bulletin for our three services the Sunday before and on the church website, and members were invited to attend a viewing of the webcast and then stay for a brief discussion afterwards.

Out of the more than 4,000 members of my church, 11 people attended the live webcast; 9 stayed for the discussion.

For the record, my church has a highly active membership. More than 700 youth and children are involved in Sunday school, confirmation and youth ministry. More than 600 people regularly participate in adult education opportunities such as small groups and classes. More than 650 people are actively involved in global and local mission work in Honduras, Tanzania, Lincoln and other local communities. The garden on our church grounds that is planted and maintained by church volunteers provides more than five tons of food annually to the local Food Bank. 25% of all financial giving by members to the church supports local and global ministries. I could go on.

What I’m saying is that these people are faithful, loving, obedient servants of Christ. They do good work. They help lots of people. They make a huge impact on those in need, both in our community and beyond. They love God, and they love their neighbors.

And yet clearly, the problem of racism is simply not registering. Racism in America may be seen as a problem generally…but it’s not seen as a problem for us — for upper-middle class white people attending a white church and, for the most part, living in white suburbia.

I get it. I do! Let me say this straight up: two years ago, I would not have been among the 11 people who attended the “Confronting Racism” webcast. I probably would have noticed the announcement in the bulletin, but I would have immediately dismissed it as irrelevant to me – to my world, to my family, to my personal spiritual growth. I would not have given the idea of attending that racism webcast a second thought.

So what changed?

Several factors play into this metamorphosis, but one factor stands out in particular: I became good friends with a black woman. We’ve been friends for six years, but only in the last two years or so have I begun to see the world through her eyes. I’ve seen how I benefit from the color of my skin and how she is inhibited by others because of the color of hers. I’ve listened to her and heard her. I’ve begun to recognize some of my own mistakes, my own prejudices, my own biases. I’ve begun to see not only that racism exists, but that I play a role in its existence as well.

You might be rolling your eyes, and I don’t blame you. I know it sounds silly. I have one black friend, after all, and here I am, ranting and raving and all in your grill on the subject of racism. It’s a little know-it-allish, I realize.

But I’m not going to apologize or feel ashamed about the fact that one friendship with one person of color has impacted me and changed me so dramatically. Because the truth is, that’s what love does. When you love someone, you want to make everything good for them. When you love someone, you want that person to have all the good things in life that you have too. I love my friend, and I want to help make the world a better place alongside her. It really is that simple.

I don’t really know how to end this blog post, and it’s so long, the two of you who are still with me are undoubtedly thinking For the love of all mankind, just end it already! In a way, not wrapping it up is the perfect way to end it, because the truth is, racism isn’t all wrapped up, not by a long shot. I’m not cool with my 96% white church. I’m not cool with 11 people out of 4,000 attending a discussion about racism. I’m not cool with a young black man getting pulled over four times in 36 hours for a broken tail light. Most of all, I’m not cool with my own complacency anymore.

The Washington Post had a disturbing article this week about white Christian people still not likely to believe black people’s stories on discrimination. We must open our eyes, even if one friend at a time. Thanks for sharing this Michelle.

I’m going to look that one up, Lisa – thanks for mentioning it. And yeah, I really do believe change begins with one small step, one person at a time. We can’t singlehandedly change the whole world, but we can change our own attitudes and beliefs.

It would be amazing, truly. Seeing from another person’s perspective takes work, you know? And sometimes were just not willing to put in the work. But then you get to know a person, really know them, and you grow to respect them, and trust them, and love them…and then suddenly, it’s a lot easier.

That little number says so much Michelle. The 11, yes, but I’m thinking about the 1, the one that’s impacted your life. That’s all it takes. I see good God work here and I’m grateful. Love your heart and the way you’ve shared it.

Oh my gosh, I love that – the 1. Yes! That IS all it takes. I’m so grateful for the work God is doing in me, in my family, in my relationships. And I’m grateful for you, too, Lisha — YOU are doing good, good work out here.

So many people dismiss the idea of white privilege. I know it’s a serious concern for students on the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus. They have many stories like the one you brought up. Thanks for starting the conversation.

I’ve read about some of the movement that’s taking place at UNL with rallies and whatnot, and it’s good. I’ve also read some of the stories of the experience of students of color there, and it’s appalling. Not that UNL is any different than any other school – racism is pervasive and it’s everywhere. I’m glad the hard conversations are taking place at the university. Good will come of that.

Well, I read every word. And chewed on it a bit. And then it hit me. Hard. Between the eyes. I have some serious soul work to begin on this subject. Your writing, as always, impeccable. Thank you, thank you, and bless your heart-

Yeah, me too, Lori, me too. It’s a process – and if we are doing it right, we will always be learning how to better love one another. If you are interested, one place to start might be Michelle Alexander’s book The New Jim Crow. I found it hugely eye-opening. Thanks for being honest about needing to “chew.” None of this is easy, and I appreciate those who admit straight up that they are wrestling and muddling through it and find themselves resisting sometimes. That’s just true and honest and part of the growth process, I think.

I’m disappointed in this country’s Christian churches for not facilitating the “conversation,” not just with the white folks who are members, but a bringing together of different faiths, different religions and races in an opportunity to understand one another’s positions. I believe the first step in this process is to learn how to listen, not just listen in order to respond, but to really listen, on both sides. We hear so much rhetoric and headlines that don’t allow for any meaningful conversation. I have bi-racial grandchildren, I hope they can grow up in a world without bias. I have learned so much from just listening to their father’s stories.

You are so, so right, Jackie – listening is key – really listening as you say. And so few of us are actually very good at that – me included! I like to hear myself talks (as evidenced by how long this post is!). I think this listening and hearing is at the center of the BlackLivesMatter movement. It’s essentially a cry to be heard, a declaration of sorts. So many of us answer, “Yeah, but ALL lives matter.” That’s true, but most of haven’t been living and acting like all lives matter equally. We say they do, but our words and actiosn prove otherwise.

I’m disappointed in this country’s Christian churches for not facilitating the “conversation,” not just with the white folks who are members, but a bringing together of different faiths, different religions and races in an opportunity to understand one another’s positions. I believe the first step in this process is to learn how to listen, not just listen in order to respond, but to really listen, on both sides. We hear so much rhetoric and headlines that don’t allow for any meaningful conversation. I have bi-racial grandchildren, I hope they can grow up in a world without bias. I have learned so much from just listening to their father’s stories.

Wow, very interesting that God opened your eyes to the injustice of it all. Now my church has only one black family and they are a huge part of our church family. I hope they have not felt racism there. It would break my heart. Our church is the Seventh-day Adventist church and I know our church, which is the largest protestant denomination, has been trying to break down the walls of division for some time now. I have to wonder if it is any different here in the north. Do my friends, does my sister in Christ feel the pain of racism in our church, in her neighborhood? I have not really thought about it because I am idealist and would have a hard time with the thought of that….but may God open my eyes as well if I am not part of the solution.

Well, I don’t know how close you are with your friend, but maybe you could ask her exactly that. I suspect, though of course I don’t know for sure, that she has experienced the pain of racism, perhaps not in your church, but most certainly in her environment – her neighborhood, her workplace, etc. If you have established a level of trust and mutual respect, I think you could have that conversation, which would probably be good for both of you.

Thanks for your thoughts and comment here today, Christine – I appreciate it so much.

Thanks, Michelle, for sharing your heart. Rather than trying to convince readers of your point with argument, you have used personal experience and example. It is so true that learning to know, love, and truly listen to a person of a different race enhances our understanding of the other person’s real life experience and helps us confront racism within ourselves and in the world. I am still continuing to learn from the friendship I also have with the woman you cited as well as from my own husband. It is a lifelong process both in our churches and in our daily lives, isn’t it?

A lifelong process, absolutely Janet. Your church models diverse community so well. And I know it hasn’t been easy, but you all have come a long way. It’s really inspiring for those of us witnessing that coming together, observing as you navigate the challenges, the awkwardness, the discomfort, and yet continue to move forward. It’s a beautiful thing.

Michelle,
I love your words and your heart, and have for a while. Thank you for your open confession, your seeking, your bravery. This right here is at the heart of the matter…”I’m not going to apologize or feel ashamed about the fact that one friendship with one person of color has impacted me and changed me so dramatically. Because the truth is, that’s what love does. When you love someone, you want to make everything good for them. When you love someone, you want that person to have all the good things in life that you have too. I love my friend, and I want to help make the world a better place alongside her. It really is that simple.” I’ve never wanted to change the world, really. I have always wanted to change at least one person’s experience in the world, and watch the ripples travel on the ocean. God bless the pebble in the water that you are.
In hope and in peace,
Chelle

Hanging in here with you, Michelle, to the end, which is really the beginning for so many of us, right? My problem is that I was living in a way so as to care and had Black friends and saw no difference. I loved and was involved. And then I stopped simply because my circumstances took me out of their lives. It wasn’t intentional. But thanks to Deidra’s writings and my reuniting with a Black childhood friend who is a strong Christian and very much involved in racial reconciliation (as the great-great granddaughter of the slaves Dred and Harriet Scott), I’m realizing I must take steps to reinsert myself into others’ lives…to become friends with those who don’t look the way I do (in terms of skin color). Our church is mostly White. Our former church of years ago, wasn’t. And I don’t think it is only a Black/White dilemma in America. For Christians, it really goes beyond these two races. Gosh, I am rambling. I don’t know what I am trying to say, and there is no tidy ending here. We are works in progress. We need for God to open our eyes and to ask Him to put flight to our feet….to take us beyond our comfortable borders. And wow! Your police example is really powerful. I was treated roughly (and fairly recently) by a cop when he pulled me over, and I had a sense of humiliation in he he was treating me. All that does is give me a little glimpse into what others must endure as lifelong (unfair) encounters with authorities. But it’s a glimpse. And we have to start by seeing and experiencing. It’s just a beginning….like your post.
Sorry for all the rambling. But I hear you, and I appreciate you.
Love
Lynn

It took me ALL day to write this one post, Lynn, so I totally get your grappling and rambling as you call it.I It’s hard to find the write words, to find any words at all really, when it comes to these challenging conversations. I think personal experiences, like yours with the rude police officer, really have the power to open our eyes and our capacity for empathy. That was the clincher for me. When I read Shannan’s story about her son being stopped for a broken tail light four times in two days, I was stunned, knowing I had driven my mini van around town with the same issue for 3 months! It’s just one little story, but it had the power to show me something I hadn’t truly recognized before.

I really appeciate your comment here today, Lynn. Thanks for walking the path, struggling and stumbling along in love.

Wow…all day. I really get it. Thanks for this generous and understanding response, Michelle…at my stumbling, bumbling, and rambling. Story….sharing the true stories of our lives is so key. Everyone has a story, and when we realize how painful they are and experience these truths ourselves, our eyes open and so do our hearts. Bless you, and keep writing truth no matter how long it takes.
Love
Lynn

In the early 1970s, I had the opportunity to attend a one-night “cultural sensitivity” training in Dayton, Ohio, sponsored by the local chapter of the Radio-Television News Directors Association. I was working as a radio reporter at WING-AM back then. Racial tensions were high in Dayton at that time. I don’t remember the name of the facilitator, but he had achieved some fame for his technique of having his workshop participants throw marshmallows at each other instead of hurling insults. He had the door to the meeting room locked, and then he described a scenario that purposely created racial tension in the group. The atmosphere in the room became very uncomfortable, as tempers flared and accusations were made against a black person.. I don’t remember any marshmallows being thrown, but it was very tense, and no one could leave. The exercise finally came to a conclusion when, one by one, the white participants began to take the side of the innocent black person and speak on his behalf. The point the facilitator made was that, until the majority began to advocate for the powerless minority, there could be no justice. Eric is right: more white people need to speak up and speak out against injustice.

Friend. I’m leveled by the humility I see in this post.
I can’t tell you how significant it is for me to feel like you’re SEEING my son.
I don’t know…just thank you.
Thank you for chewing and adding your voice to this.
There are people who have tried to make me feel like I’m exaggerating on his behalf, or they wave it all away, “Well, it IS illegal to drive without a tail light”, that type of nonsense. I know how it feels to hear that stuff just as his mom. I can’t imagine what it’s like to really live like that, to face that on a constant basis.
Robert didn’t even see it as out of the ordinary. He wasn’t outraged when he told me about it, he was proud of himself for “proving them wrong” by having a driver’s license, insurance, registration, and no drugs in the car. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!
Thank you for being with us in this.
I know times a million that you didn’t share this with me with any expectation, but your words (as always) are so beautiful, and I cannot wait to share them. They are important and timely and beg to be read by as many as possible. The church has got to being to hear this truth.
I could ramble here all night…
I’m grateful for you.

FABULOUS, FABULOUS, FABULOUS. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your incredible skill with words and ideas, thank you for being a friend, for having a friend like Deidra, thank you for being wonderful, no-nonsense you. NOT too long. At.All.

Michelle, I really appreciated your post today. I have been hit or miss here, but just subscribed. I have a Guatemala Grandson and and Ethiopian Granddaughter and I think about these things. I am glad you told this story. It’s so easy to not understand what White Privilege means or that we are even experiencing it.

I also read your post from a few days ago and see you are reading Ruth Barton’s book. Her Sacred Rhythms book was lifechanging for me. I group of us took on that book as a group study for about 8 months on a conference call as we spent several weeks on each chapter/discipline. I loved her book on Solitude and Silence also.

Michelle. I hear what you are saying. The thing is..the issues are bigger than the experience of 2 people. The week after Christmas our neighbor kids 2 doors up were outside during the day playing with the hoverboard they got for Christmas. A car drove up with three black men and one black woman. They held those kids at gunpoint and stold their hoverboard. My husband drives their schoolbus. The kids are scared to walk up the street to their stop. The kids were able to recall half of the license plate number and id the vehicle. The police arrested them that evening and retrieved the hoverboard. The four black adults were are adults. They had been wanted on crimes against women and children. We pray they are not back out on the street. The parents of the children are seriously concerned about retaliation. We have lots of black neighbors and more moving in all the time. Many properties are becoming rentals and section 8. The more the influx, the higher the crime rate. There are a lot of good hard working loving black neighbors in our neighborhood too. Our kids and grandkids grew up with them and they are friends. They have slept in my home many times with all of their friends. So I know it is not the blackness of this carload of men and women that is to blame for their actions. Or the gun. And it is certainly not the fault of those kids or their parents or our neighbors or even my fault. I had nothing to do with this act. Neither did these kids or their parents or their parents. Seems to me that the four black adults in this situation are fully responsible for their actions and are very cold hearted to commit such crimes against children and women. Seems to me they need a change of heart. The police said they live by the police station right here in our community. Right under the nose of the law enforcers. So how much did they get away with because they weren’t stopped by the police? I for one cannot accept the notion the everyone is responsible for the behaviour of one. I welcome some serious feedback about this. This issue is worthy of ongoing conversation.

Diane…the “one”person was my son too. And my other son. My daughter. Me. It is tough when we are the “one.” the wealth of experiences we have dictate our perception. Perhaps we all need eyes like Jesus to have compassion for one another instead of blaming the whole for the behaviour of a few. We all suffer. We all can be victors or victims and we all can make a difference. I think it is important to keep the conversation going and I am sorry your son was the “one.” Jesus has already made a way for redeeming this situation. And the situation in our neighborhood if we choose to accept it.

Just one last thought…why were you all driving around without your taillight? And if you were asked to fix it because youbwete opersting a vehicle illegally, why didnt you just spend 5 bucks and fix it? Problem solved!

This is powerful. We as Christians are often encouraged to be bold in our faith. What you have done here is simply courageous. You are among the “one” that was mentioned earlier.

I sat in a meeting two days ago at work and colleague asked me to address white privilege in our training programs this year. She was coming from a very sincere place. As a professional diversity and inclusion leader, I have addressed privilege many times. What I know for sure is that an African American (me) is less likely to convince white people that privilege is real. It is always more impactful when people who benefit from their privilege speak to it the way you have here.

Fear is often at the root of racism, and according to 2 Timothy 1:7,

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I’m going to share your blog with my colleagues and save it for an upcoming dialogue I’m about to have regarding Christianity and Inclusion. Jesus taught us all how to lead with love, and that is getting drowned out because the faithful are living in fear of speaking out boldly.

Sadly, LaShanda, I believe you are right. White people are much more likely to listen to a message about white privilege if it comes from a white person. And even then, it’s a tough row to hoe. Thank you for the work you are doing in corporate diversity. Peace be with you.

Although our theologies are a bit askew, our concern about racism certainly is not. Our past three Sundays have been dedicated to the subject of racial reconciliation, justice, reform of the criminal justice system and The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. We South Carolinians are going through a particularly poignant time in our history as we live through the after shocks of the killings in Charleston on June 17. The race hate language used that night and the race hate language that continues to be spewed by supporters of the Confederate flag in our state and throughout the South is particularly painful. Owning our complicity in the problem is a big part of finding solutions. We had 40 members of our congregation attend a race dialogue at a predominantly black church Thursday night. Three of the members of that church were white, but we heard plenty about the pain of contemporary racism. Thank you for this blog. It rocks. Keep the faith and keep calling us to change.

It’s funny. Reading some of the responses I can see that most people don’t understand the heart of what you’re saying. One person saying to get the tail light fixed the other explaining how a black person robbed a white person.
The heart of the article is explaining how it’s harder for black people to exist in America than white people. White Christians see this and do nothing about it. Not only that,they’re part of the problem because that don’t do anything about it.

It seems as though the reality is that white people get uncomfortable about these issues because they think black people are blaming them. That’s not the case. So they change the subject or make excuses or the worst thing they do is explain their one bad experience with a black person and give an example of how they broke the law.

What’s she’s saying is that white Christians have the power to make change in this country. A dramatic change. So get your head out of your butt, stop feeling guilty, and do something about it.
We weren’t put on this earth to be comfortable. We were put on this earth to know God n an intimate way.
Our brothers and sisters are being mistreated because of the color of their skin. What are you going to do about it.

Tgexway I see it…it is not about color. I see peooke of all backgrounds in all kinds of situilations. The thing is….it is nit about this world. We are all worried about not getting what we want…we should instead be worried about what weneed. I don’t know what white people you know, but the white people I know are doing more for the black community than I see the black community doing. Especially when they do not take responsibility for their choices. Embrace who God made you..it has purpose and meaning. And we should not think for one minute that God made a mistake indeciding our color or any other quality in us. We all suffer. Some of us choose to sit in a puddle of self pity and others choose to rise. Jesus did the hard for us. Aunt nothing too hard for us anymore. We should be celebrating our life and thanking God for all of the good gifts he has given us. Don’t try to keep tabs on who has what and who is better off or worse off. How can any of us really know that….really? Only God sees the heart. This white orivelege thing is a smokescreen for the truth. As in we ALL fall short. Jesus died for us ALL. We should be shining a light on our differences as the glory of God, not the fault or bad rap. We really dint knknowach other
at all. There are plenty of black folks doing way better than plenty of white folks and vice Versace if you only look at the outside…but God…he looks at the heart. I am not going to lay one ounce of shame or guilt on anyone for being who God made them to be. It is ludicrous to think like that. A big fat lie!

Quick question. Is it easier for a white person to succeed than black person or do you believe it is equal?

Because that’s the issue. That’s the only issue.

I know people want to say it’s not about Color. It’s usually white people that say it because that’s the world they live in. So they attribute that to other people. White privilege is simply having life easier than a minority. There is a clear difference how American society treats minorities and white people.
Do white people get traffic tickets? Yes.
Do white people have to get out the car, sit on the curb, while they call a K-9 unit to search for drugs? No.
Do white people get j-walking tickets? Yes.
Do white people get stopped and questioned and searched, ask what are doing here, where do you live? No.
There are obstacles in a minorities life that a white person will never have to deal with. That’s white privilege.

It’s not about white people being made to feel guilty or ashamed, Kelly. It’s about a history of systemic oppression – something that’s been going on for hundreds of years. As white people, we benefit from the sytem. As a group of people, we’ve been allowed and enabled to progress and succeed much faster and much more easily than people of color. It’s not personal; it’s much bigger than that.

“The heart of the article is explaining how it’s harder for black people to exist in America than white people. White Christians see this and do nothing about it. Not only that,they’re part of the problem because that don’t do anything about it.”

Eric, you’ve explained in three sentences what took me 1,600 words. Thank you.

SOOOOOOOOO much in here, but one of the first questions I asked myself was would I have been one of the 11? And then the 9? Or do I say I want to see change and be part of it and then not make time for it?

Most of the time, honestly, I SAY I want to be part of the change, and then I don’t make time for it. It’s the hard truth. But the good news is that we have the power to change that. It’s our choice, right? We can make excuses, or we can take a step.

Wow wow wow I am super blessed by your post. Thank you for diving in and being part of meaningful discussion on this issue. I have been challenging myself to identify where I am blind and what I can do to be a force for good. Having things like this to chew on are so valuable to me in that journey! Thank you!

i read every word too, michelle, and i’m glad you wrote until you had said all you felt you were supposed to say for now. i go to a large, evangelical, non-denominational church here in my very WHITE county in the South. yesterday, as we were walking out through the large rotunda, i saw four black people gathering, chatting. i wanted to say something to them, like, “I’m glad you’re here!” but i didn’t want to come off sounding like i was glad they were making my 98% white church more diverse. but i was really glad they were there!

i don’t know what the answer is, but i think it starts with individuals waking up. you’ve woken up, and you’ve shared what you’re learning. thank you.

When I was in high school (in the 70’s) I read a book called “Black Like Me” (I copied this description from Wikipedia) “Black Like Me” is a nonfiction book by journalist John Howard Griffin first published in 1961. Griffin was a white native of Dallas, Texas, and the book describes his six-week experience traveling on Greyhound buses (occasionally hitchhiking) throughout the racially segregated states of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia passing as a black man.

My heart bled every time I read the terrible racial discrimination that was experienced by Griffin. I had no idea that people were treated that way.

After that book, I read Grace Halsell (1969). “Soul Sister” : The Journal of a White Woman Who Turned Herself Black and Went to Live and Work in Harlem and Mississippi. Her experiences were just as terrible as Griffin’s.

As white people we don’t have the the constant “in your face” racial discrimination, that non-whites experience, so it is difficult to understand the enormity of the situation. The books mentioned above gave me greater understanding and empathy. That young man that was stopped 4 times in 36 hours for a broken tail-light, probably experienced 10-12 other discrimination actions that day, and each and every day after that. It’s a daily issue that is TERRIBLE and I agree is a sin and evil.

I so appreciate your input here, Kristi. I haven’t read either of those books, though I’ve heard of “Black Like Me.” Thanks for the recommendations and for commenting on what you’ve learned on the journey.

Awesome post! When you speak from your heart and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, your writing speaks truth and people respond. Thank you for writing the hard words, the ones people want to ignore or deny. You’ve done it before, thank you for doing it again. God bless you!

THANK YOU for writing this! It made me sad to know that only 11 stayed…Out of so many people. It’s truly reflective of the fact that most white people don’t even realize racism is a problem or that it exists. They believe that because we are loving, and friendly, and kind etc. etc. then OBVIOUSLY they are not racists. So when conversations start, automatically one thinks – this does not apply to me! I’m not racist. I’m a really nice person. And so we are out numbered. The minorities in this country have an uphill battle to fight and I THANK YOU for being one person who TRULY understands…I mean truly. It brings tears to my eyes just seeing this, and I don’t know you.

What I would like to know – if anyone has the answer – Is how can churches really work to become more diversified? I think some churches that have some semblance of diversity think that they are doing okay because of the number of minorities who attend the church. But the truth is, when I as a minority attend a predominantly white church, I am the one who has to assimilate, adjust and take on the main culture of the church. The songs you sing, the way you sing, preach, teach and even the activities you decide to do are all culturally relevant to you. So while I may not complain and feel like I am being treated in a racist way, I definitely do not feel that my culture also plays an equal role in the culture of the church and they way things are done. I think that is an aspect that is often taken for granted and overlooked. I would love to know if anyone has ideas on how we can TRULY integrate!

Hi Michelle, Thank you for your post and the “in you face” experience that you shared. Having recently had a headlight and a fog light (opposite side) go out within days of each other, I could relate to your experience. I was pulled over once in the approximate month it took to get them replaced, but it was by an officer I knew that just wanted to point it out and ask how I was doing since we hadn’t seen each other in a while.

I would like to point out something that is not an excuse, but is a hindrance. We are starting our year studying the racial justice statement and I thought it would be wonderful to show the two videos on racial justice to begin the class. I have very few members who know much about webcasts and some…even the younger ones who tend to be poor/borderline homeless, do not have a computer.

I couldn’t even find the first video last Sunday. I assume it was returned to the Archives after the second webcast was viewed. I prepared the second before the service began because we have a DSL connection for budgetary reasons that takes a while to download. Fifteen minutes in, it started to buffer and we never got to see the rest. Good news is, we did get to see Charlie Chaplain’s closing speech from “The Great Dictator,” and had an amazing conversation afterwards. I know many churches would benefit from downloadable videos or DVD’s to show at a later time.

I appreciate Bishop Easton’s leading the members of the ELCA in dismantling racism. The week after the webcast, the pastor at my church in Northwestern Ohio spoke out against racism. The pastor’s strong stance gives us all more courage to recognize the sin of white privilege and to stand for peace and justice with all God’s children.

Michelle, thanks for this poignant piece. As a black ELCA member, I could see why we need an effective and progressive dialogue in our congregations on the issue of racism and white privilege since the ELCA is 96% white. The sad part is that most christian white people don’t even acknowledge white privilege exist and black people fear for their lives. Trust me, it is real and as a black wife and mother I fear for our lives daily to the extent that I will never call the police for help in any shape or form. Thank you for doing the Lords work.

I am truly sorry for the burden that you and your black brothers and sisters bear and have borne for centuries now. I think part of the problem, at least when it comes to white privilege, is that white people don’t understand that it’s not a personal attack, but a statement about systemic oppression and the fact that we, as white people, have benefited from that system, sometimes (often) in ways we don’t even recognize or take for granted because that’s the way it’s always been for us. I think we need to begin with education, and I think it’s the responsibility of white people to educate others, because frankly, most of us aren’t listening to black voices who are saying (and have been saying) the same thing.

First, the article was excellent, just the brief into that appeared on FB did not clue me in to the subject and I almost skimmed right by it. The topic is of great interest to me. I have taught politics and sociology for many years and discovered this concept of “white privilege” a few years ago and in doing some research found some great articles and some clips on YouTube by lecturer Tim Wise. He also has several DVDs on the same topic. He is very knowledgeable and speaks before all kinds of groups about white privilege from students to police officers, social workers, nurses, businesspersons, etc. His style is what my be called “in your face” and intense. His talks are loaded with examples and stories, hammering the listeners/viewers with the consequences of white privilege and its continuing prominence. My students were blown away and some of them could hardly believe that in a way, most white people (including myself) do not think of all the advantages of being white in our society and racism is far more widespread than is recognized and addressed.
Anyway, I read your entire article and it flowed well once you got rolling. I couldn’t stop as you discussed the complicity of well-meaning Christians in perpetuating racism. I was raised in the ELCA and in attending many worship services in recent years, have had the same experiences you described. I think there is some fear of other races, there is a lack of understanding, a cultural barrier which all contributes to the existence of segregation. By that I mean that most of us live in white suburbs, go to predominantly white schools, attend churches that are pretty white, etc. The degree of integration in those areas is much more pronounced here in the South (SC) where I recently moved. There are different churches, neighborhoods, service jobs are filled almost always by African Americans, and there are no public swimming pools which would present a problem of mixing the races (I was shocked–this is the 21st C). As I learn my way around I discover there are towns that are mostly black and those mostly white. There is a growing black middle class , but it is as related to economic class as color. Anyway, I share your frustrations and the huge need to find ways to promote change. But we cannot underestimate how difficult this is and how long it will take.
Thank you so much for your essay and I want to get your monthly newsletter, because I enjoy your writing and want to keep in touch. God Bless, Donal.
PS I have a Facebook page where I post many articles and respond to others on current events. I guess I can say I am quite opinionated, but try to avoid coming across as preachy. It is just that people are so misinformed, influenced by unreliable sources, prone to attack others they disagree with, and think in absolute ways about various aspects of our lives–it is either one way or another, with little recognition of the fact that most issues and behavior falls in the grey areas, complex and cannot be reduced to simple answers.

I have been a Christian since my confirmation (in the sense that during that time, I came to understand what it was all about), went to an excellent Christian liberal arts college that was interdenominational and gave me a well-rounded education about how my faith applied to all areas of life whether it is politics, climate change, poverty, racism, sexism, consumerism, nutrition, science, education, medical care, lifestyle, etc. etc. For over 20 yrs. I taught at a denominational college in the midwest that was very homogenous (white, conservative, Dutch-American, insulated, often self-righteous about what was right or wrong, etc.) I felt called to present a different perspective insofar as it was possible. It was a huge challenge, a culture shock because I was from New England, of Irish/English descent, more progressive in my thinking on issues as I understood rooted in the life and teaching of Jesus regarding the poor, the people suffering addictions, people of different sexual identities, people with psychological problems, people of color (rare until more Hispanics have moved into that area), etc. I am not sure how effective I was, except for those students and a few peers who were open-minded and seeking a broader view of the Christian life and call to a different vision of the Kingdom of God, here and now and not just in the future, and global rather than local. I’ve gone on too long, so forgive me. Keep up your good work, it is important as there are many believers and searchers trying to figure out the meaning of life and their place in it.

Because of some circumstances in my life, I’ve made a point of educating my white self about racial issues and racism. I’ve come to recognize some reflexive reactions in certain situations that are racist in nature. The concept of white privilege is somewhat newer to me. Yes, I’ve benefited, but I also benefited from being raised in a family which valued education, reading, music, etc. I also feel I’ve benefited from being raised in a family that lived literally hand to mouth. This gave me a perspective on life that someone who has everything handed to him does not have. My point is that it is all too easy to put people into groups in our minds and look down on those in the “other” group. When I had to go to court for a traffic offense, I dressed in a business like way. I looked down my nose at those who came dressed like they were doing farm chores. That is an ism as well; I didn’t know their circumstances. When it comes to race, people can’t just change their clothing to get away from who they are. And I can fully grasp white privilege, yet continue to benefit. BTW, my son experienced the driving for months with no taillight but not getting stopped until he had a black passenger. And recently he had a black passenger of about 14 years old. He was stopped and questioned for no reason. It seemed beyond the police’s comprehension that he would have a black passenger. He had to explain himself. Apparently in some parts of the US you are suspect if you are helping black people. He was recently called a very bad word when he chose a black person over a white person in work related positions. My son is NOT white, yet he was picked on when he associated with black acquaintances.

WOW!! I came upon this as I was working on the church’s facebook page today. it will appear there, I hope you don’t mind 🙂
Wordy maybe, but I couldn’t stop reading….THANK you for the clarification and for the education.
Growing up, my father’s best friend was a man named Frank. He was my dad inside and out. 2 peas in a pod…and he not only shared my dad’s life, we were all one big happy family.
When my dad died a part of all of us died with him, including Frank. Years later (I was 12 when dad died) now I was 22 and newly married, Frank walked into where I was working and said, “Ahhh…Emmett’s daughter. And I immediately said, “Ahhhh Frank!”
That was 34 years ago and Frank and his wife Mabel have gone on to be with the Lord but those moments of love when I was a child and that look of love when I was 22…have burned in my heart and comfort me to this day.
There was one difference between my father and Frank…dad was white, Frank black. I never understood why my friends, when Frank would play with us, were not allowed to be there…not until I grew up.
Only when we realize that love is defined by what is inside the heart and soul not what is on the skin will we ever have real peace and truly understand unconditional love.

Loved your post. Just wondering, could you ask your church to redo the panel on a Sunday? It sounded so informative- but truly to get people to commit, do it when they are normally ready to sit and listen. Any Thursday night is tough for the average family. Wrapping up the week- soccer practice, dinner, bedtimes- etc and you need a sitter? (Or not, not sure how it worked there) Do it on a Sunday and a Saturday night (if your church is big into Saturday night services) and BAM! Involvement. The captive audience is there. Our world needs change- some people need to be brought into the change. Get them while they are there. Just wondering. Lovely post.

Powerful commentary. That you tied religion/Christianity into it is even more impactful. We need more allies out there like you. Please check out http://www.comingtothetable.org and also WPC- Got Privilege? The Official Facebook group for more like-minded people. One down…millions more ahead of us…

Michelle, I’ve been changed over the past seven months or so, by Patti Digh’s Hard Conversations class on racism and the book club that arose from the class. The resources and online conversations we’ve had have been uncomfortable, profound and challenging to say the least.

If you google Patti Digh or Hard Conversations you will probably find a course that might stimulate you further. You will find a cohort of people searching for ways to be better, more effective allies with our various minority (in power? in money? in skin color? in nationality?) sisters and brothers. It’s a huge relief to me to find these people, even though only one is from my community. And I refuse complacency as well!

By the way, I love the idea of your church using its property for growing food for the food bank. I’m going to pass that on to our local food bank.

“The heart of the article is explaining how it’s harder for black people to exist in America than white people. White Christians see this and do nothing about it. Not only that,they’re part of the problem because that don’t do anything about it.”

Eric, you’ve explained in three sentences what took me 1,600 words. Thank you.

Thanks for the article. As a mid-50’s white man I can agree there is racism alive and well in our world. I would also say I will not apologize for being a white man, after all, that is how I was born like any other man of any color. I grew up with many men of color around me and I even was pulled over a few times with my friends because they were black. The best man at my wedding, and I at his wedding is a black man and a true friend of mine today. We ran together for years and not once did he get pulled over because he was black, even while driving the typical cars cops may look for. I still believe there are circumstances that happen to people because they are of color and that is not right. Racism exists because we let it exist. If I have any “privilege” because I am white, that is a by-product of the society we live in. I do not consider myself racist and had it not been for this article, I wouldn’t categorize my friend as black or which. He’s always just been my friend. Yes, racism exists and is a sin. I am sorry your friend’s son was pulled over multiple times. Bad things happen to good people which is a fact of life. I pray that more people regardless of their skin color can treat each other with compassion and equality. That is after all what Heaven is all about.

Where did you get the impression that you need to apologize for being white? Having white priveledge does not make one racist. Just like being Black doesn’t meab one will always be discriminated against. But like you acknowledge the benefits derived from being white are because of the society we live in. It makes it easier for some and harder for others. Just take this post for example. Because the author is white more people will listen. More white people that it vs if I or someone who is Black wrote it. I think what you can do to help is to help bring more awareness to this and opening up yourself to having tough conversations. Uncomfortable conversations. Geared with the mindset of reversing the culture that we live in that esteems the white race above others. Just don’t turn a blind eye when you have the opportunity to use your voice and dear I say your white priveledge to speak out against it.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before some radical made the leap that it’s a sin to be white today.

This is a shameful article that tries to embarrass people without color to view themselves as less Christian if they don’t actively advocate on behalf of people of color.

As an African-American, I reject this notion and I find this article repugnant.
It’s NOT a sin to be white. It’s not even a sin to be proud of being white.
It’s a sin for someone to covet what another person possesses. It’s a sin to steal from others. It’s a sin to murder.

If Michelle is SO ashamed off her white church, white privilege and white life; she should live in the ghetto. Reject and discard all your worldly belongings and spend a year eaking out an existence in a crack house with homeless squatters. You’ll get a real-life lesson on covetedness, theft and murder.

I hear ya loud and clear on the racism that happens everyday but honestly it happens both ways depending on the amount of white or blacks in the area in which you live.
Could it be that the police force was racist? No one no matter the color of skin or ethnic background deserves to be treated in the manner.
I also know I have worked with those of different ethnic groups and they were treated better and received let’s just say disciplinary action then someone who was white. The company was afraid of the racists card being played and being in the pubic eyes…. Until we got a plant manager that reviewed all the details. If you screw up it doesn’t matter what color you are we should all be treated the same!! We will when we sit before God

Hmmm, thank you for enlightening me. Until now I was so unaware that I am considered one of those “bad people”, you know, the “red-necky types”. Even though I personally, as well as My Red Neck Family, abhors racist remarks and racism in its entirety! We do have thick skin due to working outside, lots of sunburns on the back of the neck doing the back breaking type of work most people nowadays have no concept of, you know the type that ya’ll have read about in books, like my Nanny (great gramma) pickin cotton then goin inside long enough to give birth then right back to the fields to finish pickin that cotton.

We love God, Family, our Country, in that order. We love having company over, good cookin, two steppin, huntin, fishin, sittin in the rocker on the porch at night watching and listening to Gods creation. We love our guns and laughin, singin and tellin stories around the camp fire with friends, family and strangers out in the deer woods. We would be the first to give you the shirt off our back, to lend a hand and offer help whether we know ya or not. We can (and do) strike up a conversation with a total stranger in the check out line at the Piggly Wiggly like we’ve known ’em our entire lives. If that’s what a “bad person” is, so be it, I’m PROUD to be a “Red-Neck”.

Oh, and my supposedly being a “bad person” because I would be considered a “Red-Neck” by some… There are A L O T of us “Red-Necks” out there that have more than that one “token black friend”. Have you ever given CPR to or held the lifeless body of your “black” neighbors little boy in your arms while she screams and tears running down your face? This “Red-Neck” has. Have you ever stepped foot into an all “black” church (without being scared out of your mind)? This “Red-Neck” has. BTW, I highly recommend everyone visit an all “black” church, especially in the South!! They know how to do church and worship our Lord!!! I know where The Holy Spirit is on preaching days!!

Just a little FYI, for someone to write about “racism” and then turn around and make racist remarks themselves is so hypocritical. Bless your heart, you might want to be a little more careful next time. I’m sure you wouldn’t want that sanctimonious prejudicial racist intolerance showing again…

[…] My friend’s black son drove his car with a broken tail light for 36 hours and was pulled over four times. He couldn’t wait until it was convenient for him to get his car fixed. He had to do it immediately, for fear of getting pulled over a fifth time. That’s called racism. […]

[…] The treatment of a black youth for a broken tail light, a black friend’s struggles, and her large congregation’s low turnout for the ELCA’s second webcast on racism leaves Michelle DeRusha, an ELCA member and blogger for the Huffington Post, writing that she’s not “cool” with her “96 percent white church.” To read her blog, click here. […]

[…] DeRusha, a Lincoln, NE blogger, wrote about how she drove with a broken taillight for three months before getting it fixed. She was never pulled over. Her friend’s black son was pulled over four times in 36 hours for […]

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Living out faith in the everyday is no joke. If you’re anything like me, some days you feel full of confidence and hope, eager to proclaim God’s goodness and love to the world. Other days…not so much.

Let me say straight up: I wrestle with my faith. Most days I feel a little bit like Jacob, wrangling his blessing out of God. And most days I’m okay with that. I believe God made me a questioner and a wrestler for a reason, and I believe one of those reasons is so that I can connect more authentically with others.