Submission II

Being a Christian at Home

3:1 In like manner, wives, be in
subjection
to your own husbands;

so that, even if any don't obey the Word,
they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word; 3:2 seeing your pure behavior in
fear. 3:3 Let your beauty be not just the
outward adorning of braiding the
hair,
and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; 3:4 but in the hidden person of the
heart,
in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is in the sight of God very precious.

3:5 For this is how the holy women before,
who hoped in God, also adorned themselves,
being in subjection to their own husbands: 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham,
calling him lord,
whose children you now are, if you do well,
and are not put in fear by any terror.

3:7 You husbands,
in like manner,
live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman,
as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of
life;
that your prayers may not be hindered.

3:8 Finally, be all
like-minded,
compassionate,
loving as brothers, tenderhearted, courteous, 3:9 not rendering evil for evil, or
reviling for reviling; but instead
blessing;
knowing that to this were you called, that you may inherit a blessing.

3:10 For, "He who would love life, And see good
days,
Let him keep his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. 3:11 Let him turn away from evil, and
do good.
Let him seek peace, and pursue it.

3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the
righteous,
And his ears open to their prayer;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

Discussion Questions

vs 1 Should wives be submissive only if their husbands are Christians?
vs 2 What type of behavior of wives may help in leading their husbands
to Christ?
What are practical ways or examples in which wives may submit to their
husbands?
vs 3-6 What is a gentle and quiet spirit?
What is so beautiful about a gentle and quiet spirit?
vs 6 How do fears conflict with this spirit?
How is reverent fear (vs 2) different?
vs 7 In what ways are the wives the weaker partner and how might
husbands
show consideration with these in view?
What are practical ways or examples in which husbands may honor their
wives?
vs 8 What attitudes tend to promote unnecessary disunity?
What can believers do to develop the attitudes Peter mentions in vs
8?
vs 9-12 How does humility and empathy help us to respond properly to
persecution?

Comments

The Wife to be Submissive

1Peter 3:1,2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any
of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by
the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of
your lives.

As servants are to be submissive to their masters, so also are wives to
their hubands. God designed the marriage relationship not to be
egalitarian but to reflect the relationship between Christ and his
Church. For it is written, "Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of
which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also
wives should submit to their husbands in everything."Eph
5:22 And furthermore for the wive to practice submission to her
husband gains for her an influence upon him. And this is generally the
case in any vertical relationship. The subordinate gains influence
primarily through submission. It can influence unbelieving
authority
figures
in leading them to Christ and provoke even believers unto further
obedience.

It is unfortunate that the feminist culture so pervasive today has
largely mislead women on a number of points, this being one of them.
Consequently women today are largely hostile to the concept of
submission, even among Christians. And today the role of
husband
is not a recognized role of authority even in many Christian circles.
Much
of modern Christianity has deviated from Biblical Christianity over
these issues. However, while what the Bible says concerning the
subordination of
wives to
their husbands is contrary to today's feminist culture, this is one
area where Christians - and Christian women in
particular - can shine.

Should wives only submit if their husbands obey the word? No. Here
Peter indicates they should submit even if their husbands do not obey
the word. This is paralleled with the command given slaves, "Slaves, submit yourselves to your
masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and
considerate, but also to
those who are harsh." 1Peter
2:18

Now notice also Peter's allusion to "behavior" here - a behavior
that wins over
even unbelieving husbands. What behavior is he talking about? A
submissive, compliant behavior. What he's saying is that a wife's
submission to her husband is a measure of her purity and reverence. If
you're a wife, consider how you measure up? And notice also that it is
by behavior, and not so much by words, a wife can influence
her husband. Likewise Paul says, "Let a woman
learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a
woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence."
1Tim 2:9-12 A Wife's Inner Beauty

1Peter 3:3,4Your beauty should not come
from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold
jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner
self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of
great worth in God’s sight.

Not that he's forbidding women concerning outward adornment, but rather
instructing them to not be as the Pharisees of whom Jesus said, "You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful
on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and
everything unclean."Mt 23;27

However, Paul likewise instructs "that the women
adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not
with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is
proper for women professing godliness, with good works." 1Tim
2:8,10 Rather than obsessing over clothing and outward appearance,
women who want to beautify themselves should do so by developing a
godly attitude and a corresponding behavior which results in good
works.

It is a gentle and quiet spirit in a woman which is not only of great
value to God, but to men. But that which is valuable is also rare. It
is contrary to the woman's nature. The word "gentle" is the same Greek
word "meek" in Mt 5:5 "Blessed are the
meek, For they shall inherit the earth." "Meekness toward
God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with
us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. ...
Gentleness or meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and
self-interest. It stems from trust in God’s goodness and control over
the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all." Online
Bible Greek Lexicon

"quiet" here is "tranquil". It describes one who tries to live
peaceably with others, as in 1Tim 2:2."The
wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one
tears hers down."Pr 14:1 How? "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a
rainy day" Pr 27:15 And it's "better
to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."
Pr 21:19Timeless Beauty

1Peter 3:5,6For this is the way the holy
women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves
beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who
obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you
do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Submissiveness is the most attractive feature of a woman, even to
ungodly
men. And this is particularly true today when it is so rare. Outward
beauty
fades. That is inevitable. But this is not necessarily true of inward
beauty
- that of a gentle and quiet spirit. But again there is no guarantee
that
these also will not become corrupted if one doesn't take care. For the
world can easily influence and corrupt Christians both men and women,
molding
them into feminists. But a gentle and quite spirit makes a woman of
great
value especially in the sight of God. God is looking for a few godly
women
to influence both the Christian culture and the world's values. But be
forewarned, if you practice submission you will be persecuted by the
rebellious.
Other women will make fun of you. Feminists will treat you with
contempt.
But you will find honor among the godly.

While many today in the feminist culture in which we live dismiss
instructions given Christian women in name of "culture" saying "that
was then, this is now", in fact the Bible instructs us that this
principle of the subordination of wives is timeless. There's an
inherent ugliness to women who are characteristically rebellious
towards their husbands, disrespecting them and wives who subject their
husbands to public humiliation. Conversely when the role relationships
are reversed - as they are largely today - and women rule over their
husbands, what do we learn from the historic precedents. To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife
and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of
it,’ "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you
will eat of it all the days of your life." Gen 3:17 And
to what might we attribute the Arab-Israeli conflict but Sarah's
failure to live up to godliness and instruct her husband, she said to Abram, "The LORD has kept me from having
children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family
through her." Abram agreed to what Sarai said.Gen 16:2
Isaiah prophecies, "Youths oppress my people,
women rule over them. O my people, your guides lead you astray; they
turn you from the path."Isaiah 3:12 Children learn
rebelliousness when they see their mother rebelling against their
father. Feminist mothers, by their example, teach their children to be
rebellious.
But as was the case in Isaiah's time so today. For those who have
marginalized their Christian life by complying with the demands of the
feminist culture in which we live, "Your guides
lead you astray; they
turn you from the path." For there are even church leaders and
husbands who lead their subordinates astray on this matter.

But also insecurity is often a source of
rebelliousness
among women. To submit requires allowing someone else to be in charge.
But today women tend to be trained by the world to have a contemptuous
attitude towards their husbands. And if they think their hubands are
incompetent
fools, then submitting to incompetent fools is not only humiliating,
but
also threatens their security. Women often "take charge" not because
they're brave but because
they're cowards. "You are her daughters if you
do what is right and do
not give way to fear." Godly women should be
courageous.
The first people listed in Rev 21:8 of those who will get
thrown
into the lake of fire are the "fearful" or "cowards". Such should not
be
characteristic of the redeemed.

Husbands to be Considerate

1Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way
be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect
as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of
life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Women and men are inherently different, and not just physically.
Husbands, being the leader of the family, need to take such into
consideration. One of the weaknesses women have which husbands need to
take into consideration is their tendency to be misled. Paul for
example speaks of "old wives‘ tales" 1Tim
4:7, and
instructs the church not to assign them as teachers of men "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority
over a man; she must be silent" 1Tim 2:12, one reason
being because, "Adam was not the one deceived; it
was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner." 1Tim
2:14Consequently husbands need to instruct their wives.
Concerning wives Paul writes, "If they want to
inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home." 1Cor
14:35a But also don't expect much of them as students, as they tend
to have an allegiance to their personal feelings over that of ideas.

Also with regards to submission, while it is a command given to wives,
husbands need to realize that submission does not come as easy to women
as to men. You get a bunch of men together and they form a hierarchy,
while a bunch of women will form a committee. Men more easily embrace
the idea of being under authority and don't find such a position as
humiliating as women apparently do. This is likely due to the nature of
the fall in which a women usurped authority over a man and that
precedent then became inherent in the nature of women. So husbands need
to give their wives some room in regards to submission as it is so
contrary to their nature.

Also obvious, though I don't know where it comes from, is the woman's
weakness with regards to self-image. To me it's just pride, but for
some reason women are extremely sensitive to what you think about them.
Men get together and criticize and even jokingly insult one another
just to help each other maintain a proper level of humility. But don't
dare do that with women. (And woe to the women who criticizes a man
without expecting to get criticized in return) To say it the way it
apparently is, women generally are much weaker with regards to the sin
of pride than men, and as such husbands have to be careful to give them
proper respect as the weaker partner in this regard.

To treat them with respect is to be considerate in view of their
weaknesses. But to be considerate is not to condone their
sinfulness, anymore than Christ's consideration towards us condones our
sinfulness. Indeed it says, "Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to
make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the
word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain
or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."Eph
5:25-27 Thus, just as Christ loves us by dealing with our
sinfulness, so husbands need to take into consideration the sinfulness
of their wives and deal with it considerately. Granted that may
involved having lower expectations towards your wife than you have
toward your fellow man, given that women are weaker, but as with your
children so with your wife. Respect the fact that your wife is of the
weaker gender and don't hold her to the same standards to which you
hold yourself and other men. For Christ also tolerates a good deal of
our weakness in the process of sanctifying us. But at the same time, he
does expect us to progress.

And husbands need to take heed to Peter's instruction lest they sin by
failing to do so and thus lose God's ear. "If I
regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear."Ps
66:18Get Along

1Peter 3:8Finally, all of you, live in
harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be
compassionate and humble.

"Living in harmony" here is literally "being of the same mind". Living
in harmony is largely a function of practicing humility. Humility is
prerequisite to being sympathetic and compassionate as such requires
one to see things from someone else's perspective. Even concerning
arguments, if one side has demonstrated that they have seriously
considered the other person's point of view, though disagree with it,
that goes a long way to settling differences. Compassion also invokes
good works. Those without compassion are often at a loss as to what
good works to do. Such people require some kind of personal incentive
to do good. But a compassionate person does good from the heart. Note
the example of the good Samaritan of Luke 10:30-37 "But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where
he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion." Like Jesus "when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with
compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep
having no shepherd." Mt 9:36 Compassion also invokes
forgiveness, "Then the master of that servant
was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt." Mt
18:27 Developing compassion may require we go through similar
experiences. Even of Jesus it was said, "Because
he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who
are being tempted." Heb 2:18 Thus living in harmony is
not simply agreeing to a doctrinal statement. It involves an attitude
of love and humility.

React with Love

1Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil or
insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called
so that you may inherit a blessing.

You can generally tell a person's level of humility by how they respond
to criticism, whether such criticism is justified or not. Responding to
insults with insults or evil with evil is the knee-jerk
reaction of the flesh. But a thoughtful sympathetic person would react
firstly by considering why the person thinks or feels that way. May it
be due to a prejudice the person had developed based on prior
indoctrination or negative experiences they had? Or is it an
overreaction to
something of legitimate concern? In any case the idea is to respond
with the person's best interest in mind. Afterall there are
consequences
involving eternal torment for those who do evil, so if nothing else,
that should more than satisfy one's desire for revenge. In fact
shouldn't that fact evoke a sense of compassion? "Since,
then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men." 2Cor
5:11 And there is good reason to fear for their future. ." Jesus
said, "Fear Him who is able to destroy both soul
and body in hell." Mt 10:28

There is a blessing to reacting to unjustified hostility with grace.
Realize that with the compensation Christ gained by suffering unjustly
he paid for the sins of the world. God's judicial nature demands that
unjustified suffering be compensated for, and it will. The Fruit of Righteous Living

1Peter 3:10-12For, "Whoever would
love life and see good days must keep his
tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from
evil and do good; he must seek peace and
pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears
are
attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those
who do evil."

Here Peter is quoting Psalm 34:12-16, which goes on to say, "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he
delivers them from all their troubles.The LORD is close to the
brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous
man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he
protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay
the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The LORD
redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
Ps 34:17-22

This is a proverbial truism not only concerning our present life, but
our eternal life. Christ suffered and died at the age of about 33 and
yet the prophecy says, "it was the LORD’s will
to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his
life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. After the suffering
of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied" Is
53:10,11a Life doesn't end at physical death, and thus even if one
dies through unjustified suffering, there is still compensation. It was
true of Christ and it is true of all who suffer unjustly.

So leave off revenge and bitterness. "God is
just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you" 2Thess
1:6 and "Do not take revenge, my friends,
but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to
avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.Rom 12:19

Verse 12 is a transition into next section in which Peter
will
elaborate on the concept of responding properly to persecution. His
point
here is to reckon that God is watchful and aware and empathetic for his
children. A common effect that those who are persecuted experience is a
sense of abandonment. When Jesus was on the cross he empathized with
people
in such situations in quoting the first verse of Psalm 22, "My God, My
God, Why have you forsaken me?" And we read such things in
David's
Psalms
and in the book of Job. Peter's words are an encouraging reminder that
though the world hates us, God doesn't.

1Peter 3:1-12
RAP

3:1 Wives should submit though your husbands are not
saved
To win them not by words, but by how you behave 2 When they see how pure you live your life
And the reverence you have rather than strife. 3 Let not your beauty come from outward things
Like hair and clothes and wearing rings 4 Your inner self is of greater merit
If you have a gentle and quiet spirit 5 For this is the way holy women of old
Gained favor by doing what they were told 6 Like Sarah who obeyed and called her husband
master.
Do right, fearlessly is what she'd say if you asked her. 7 Husbands treat them with respect
Or else with God you won't connect 8 Be of one mind sympathize with each one
Loving and humble, just like the Son 9 Repay not with evil those who insult you
But rather with blessing and inherit one too 10 If you want to see good days and live for quite
awhile
Keep from speaking evil and your lips from speaking guile 11 Repent and do the good you know you really ought to
do
And seek the peace of God that's what you really must pursue 12 The Lord sees and hears the righteous of the land
But when face to face with God, the evil will not stand