TOP OF THE SIXTH

Published 4:00 am, Friday, October 9, 1998

SPRINTER WILL RACE AGAINST HORSEPOWER

Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson, who was banned for life for using performance-enhancing drugs, will race against two horses and a car next Thursday in a fund-raising event for the Children's Wish Foundation in Toronto.

"We want the horses tested for drugs," quipped his agent, Morris Chrobotek. "We want someone to look at the engine of the car, too."

THE GREAT PUMPKIN: It must be quite an honor to have a vegetable named after you, and Gilbert Brown now knows the feeling. Scott Freeman of Krakow, Wis., named a pumpkin after the 350-pound Green Bay tackle. The pumpkin, by the way, would dwarf Brown. It is nearly 13 feet around and weighs 809 pounds. Within its 130-day growing period, Gilbert the pumpkin put on 30 pounds in one day and 157 pounds within a week, Freeman said. Say, better check that thing for steroids. -- "Every week we have some positives," says cornerback Darrell Green of his 0-5 Redskins, "and that's what you have to take out of it." Says T.J. Simers of the Los Angeles Times: "In his retirement, Green will be writing speeches for President Clinton." -- "Eddie DeBartolo Jr. had his two greyhounds blessed Saturday in a church ceremony in San Francisco," says Michael Ventre of MSNBC. "Judging by what happened the next day in Buffalo, it seems the wrong dogs got blessed."

-- If things don't work out in pro football for 49ers cornerback Antonio Langham, he could always join the American League umpires. They don't seem to know what interference is, either. -- "Do you think Fox possibly could show any more close-ups in its playoff game coverage?" says Jim Caple of ESPN.com. "Good lord. You turn on the TV expecting a ballgame and instead Fox gives you the director's cut of Ingmar Bergman's 'Persona.' "

PHOTOGRAPHER SHOT; SHE SHOT BACK: Supermodel Cindy Crawford is taking golf lessons from a former European pro named David Williams. In the pro-am before the European Masters in Switzerland, she conked a photographer with an errant tee shot on a par-3, then quit after five holes, citing back pain. "She can get away with a bad shot," Williams says, "because people aren't watching the ball." -- "Native Americans once again are calling for the Washington Redskins to change their name," says Jay Leno. "It has nothing to do with racial insensitivity. They say the team just sucks." -- The Expos are nearing their self-declared deadline for people to come forward in support of the new downtown stadium they want. Says Garth Woolsey of the Toronto Star: "The citizens have responded with two words. Ho. And, hum." -- From The Vent column of readers' rants in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: "MUTE: McCarver's Unnecessary Talk Eliminator."