Bert Newton And Barry Hall Sack David Leyonhjelm As Speech Writer

Following a disastrous Logies speech and equally dismal radio performance Australian TV legend Bert Newton and Footballer Barry Hall have announced that they’ve sacked their speech writer Liberal Democrat Senator David Leyonhjelm.

“David came highly recommended to me by Mark Latham and he seemed to say all the right stuff,” said Newton. “I guess I should’ve known he wasn’t much chop when I got the speech off him and it had the word poof in it. Sure I didn’t have to read it but I’m a thespian and I always recite my lines. What a disaster this’ll set me back further than when my Son Matthew had his troubles.”

When asked for comment on his sacking Senator Leyonhjelm said: “Those softcocks can go and get stuffed. I’m funny dammit and edgy and relevant. Bloody country has gone to the dogs. It’s political correctness gone mad.”

Upon hearing of his sacking Skynews has offered Leyonhjelm his own chat show which they hope will double the stations viewing numbers from 5 to 10 viewers.