Friday, November 24, 2006

This is no ordinary ten dollar bill . . .

This is the ten dollar bill I found while walking Nanners and Noodles this morning. Mere good fortune? I think not. I believe this is God's reward to me for making a concerted effort to get along with my mother yesterday - we don't get along - at all.

So imagine my delight when, after preparing myself for spending a few hours with my mother, she arrived - with her little dog in tow - and announced she was spending the night. I poured myself another glass of wine and resolved to make the best of it. This resolve was put to a test immediately after we sat down to eat, when my mother shared the following with my brother and me:

Mom - "I spoke to your Aunt Catherine this week. She called me after I sent her a picture I'd taken of you two and Emily (my niece). Catherine said 'Diane has really put on a lot of weight, hasn't she?'" (This supposedly coming from a woman who's 2 daughters passed 2 bills in high school and haven't seen the slimmer side of 200 lbs. since then).

Mom - "So I told her - ‘oh yes, Diane has packed on 20 - 30 lbs.’"

Me - (to myself) - "Since when? High School? I'm actually slimmer than I was a couple of years ago."

From then on, my poor brother had to put up with me complaining about my mother - who couldn’t hear a thing since she neglected to put on her hearing aid that morning. ("it really is a lot of trouble to wear it - you two just remember to speak up").

Any whoo - I’m going to use my lucky ten for this week’s football pool and hope God remembers that mom is coming back to stay next weekend . . . .

mish - the dogs do get along - but my mother is very protective of her little dog (a friend of mine found her as a sickly stray and nursed her back to health) and she is sure that Nanners will eat her - in truth, her little dog seems to like hanging out with the big girls

This post is friggin hilarious, Diane. Its great that you can look at the bright side of things (even with your Mothers comments). Good luck next weekend. Remember to keep plenty of wine in tow and maybe God'll send you a 20 this time! ;)