Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I am taking an improv class in Palo Alto with a guy named Terry Sandke and it is more fun than I've had in a long time. And equally as fun as designing and creating clothing!

Every flipping person in that class is super nice and super fun. We've only had 3 sessions and yet I feel like we all get along really well. But it's just hard to manage the relationships. Inevitably, in a situation like that, you will find yourself bonding to everyone, but 2 or 3 people really well and fast... and sometimes the bonding happens so quickly you aren't sure what to do with it...

That is definitely happening to me. I looked with fondness upon one or two people at first who I haven't spent enough time with because they are a bit quiet or get overshadowed by the other boisterous people who are like me. Then there is one I found intimidating because of his extreme wittiness that is now seeming more normal.

Then there's always the few who you get along with so well you almost don't know what to do with it. Inside the classroom, barriers are broken down and people are over-familiar with each other. In the class it's okay to be close and joking, but what happens outside the class? All that high and emotion from laughing and being with fun people in a fun situation--does it go away? I don't want it to. But maintaining that over-familiarity outside of class is a social taboo, especially in the Bay Area. And gender differences make it even more complicated. I feel like outside of that situation no one can understand how fun it is inside and trying to adjust that situation to fit the outside world is too hard. How can I merge the two? Will I ever be able to live in the outside world again--really?

I don't believe I've felt this much emotion since I was in my college acting class... but that was college and over-familiarity outside the classroom was okay. This is grown-ups with jobs and lives... and it's oh so complicated...