Monday, February 29, 2016

Today is the big day, the day I start my new job! I'm nervous, excited, and maybe a little scared at making such a change, so wish me luck and hope that my inner Dolly shows, because she definitely owns it!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

I promised cute stuff, after yesterday's long post, and I am a woman of my word. Have you downloaded Neko Atsume yet? I initially downloaded it for the boys to play on my phone, but I find myself checking the yard for new cats and buying new goodies for them play with several times through out the day. I know I'm not the only one who's obsessed and I actually read that there's going to be a themed pop-up shop of cute kitty merchandise somewhere in China. If you aren't fortunate enough to be in China, fear not, the internet is here to provide you with your fix!

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Bear with me, this is a long and wordy post. I probably should have put this one in my diary or something, but I suppose that's really what a blog is. I promise I will post some cute photos or something simple tomorrow, but for now, I have to get this out.

I think I mentioned a few posts back that I'm changing jobs and I've made a few mentions of it on social media, if you follow me there. It's funny, because had you asked me a few months ago if I would be leaving my job at any time in the near future, you would have gotten a solid no. You know when people talk about finding their calling in life? I think mine is helping people and that's obviously something I get to do as a legal advocate. It's satisfying to know that I genuinely make a difference in some people's lives, even if it's something as simple as telling someone about the divorce process or sitting with someone during a criminal hearing and holding their hand or rubbing their back. The latter is probably my favorite part of working as an advocate. I have so many clients who just don't have any support. Courtrooms are scary places, especially when faced alone. There are terms that aren't always understood, abusers and their families/friends are often just a few benches away, and details of traumatizing events are often shared in front of a whole courtroom full of people. I am there, though, to explain what's happening, to shield my clients from their past abusers, and to support them fully without making any judgments. This is what has kept me at my job for so long. My clients. Especially my clients who have no one else. So why am I leaving? I'm sure you're probably wondering, if you've read this far.

I'm not really sure where to begin with this. I didn't actually go searching for another job and I still feel an immense sense of loyalty to my agency and the work we do there, but I had to put myself first and take a chance on an opportunity that came up. There have been so many frustrations at my job over the past several years that are really out of my control. We are resistant to change and growth. The more some of us push for it, the further we are knocked back. I used to shake it off, after a period of annoyance, and try to stay optimistic. I'd remind myself that I do the best I can with my clients. But eventually that wasn't enough and I had more and more trouble shaking off the bad attitudes and frustrations. It definitely showed in my paperwork, as unfinished files collected in my desk drawer, and it showed in my personal life. I come home tired and feeling pretty drained, not great things when you have young children and a side business. I had always been really good at leaving my work stuff behind once I left the office, so this wasn't okay with me. Knowing all the great things my agency could be doing but refuses to do hasn't ever been okay with me, but the feelings of powerlessness have just really taken it out of me.

Anyone else probably would have started looking for a new job, but I am such a terrible creature of habit. Sticking with the misery, in some ways, is just easier and less scary than trying something completely new. I actually did apply for one job a few months ago, but nothing came of it. That's probably for the best. The job I'm starting in two weeks, February 29th to be exact, is at a small law office. There are two attorneys, an assistant, and two cats. Things actually took shape via Facebook Messenger, during chats with one of the attorneys. Hooray for social media! I feel incredibly lucky and eternally grateful for the opportunity, because essentially I was given a chance to put myself first and an easy out from my growing frustrations. I shouldn't really say easy. I'm nervous about doing something new and there's a tiny part of me that is waiting for them to change their mind about hiring me. I'm still questioning my answers from the lunch hour meeting I had with the attorneys and my not so well hidden anxiousness, but I am also so excited to try something new, to be busy with working and learning again, and to hopefully regain some energy and motivation! Also, did I mention there are cats? Wish me luck!

Monday, February 15, 2016

This is actually the only song I've heard from Me and My Drummer, but I'm pretty taken with her voice. It reminds me a bit of Neko Case, one of my absolute favorites. It's a perfect mellow song for this cold Monday. I'm off for the holiday, so I will be keeping warm and enjoying a day at home! Happy Monday, all!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Hello there! I've gone quiet again and it just seems to keep happening. I want to make regular posts a priority, but it's hard to always find the time. Sometimes I get really down on myself for not accomplishing everything I want to get done, but I need to give myself a reality check. I work a full time job, I have two children, I run a small business. I do a lot really. It's never quite enough for my satisfaction, though. I'm being a little kinder about it this year, though, and trying to not get bent out of shape about all the hobbies and extras in life to which I can't always devote as much attention as I wish. It really is better for my sanity and I'm all about preserving that! There's been a lot going on too. My mom had surgery to remove her thyroid and ended up spending nearly a week in the hospital, the boys have been suffering from a terrible case of the winter stir crazy rottens, and I am leaving my job of nearly eight years to do something a little different. So things have been a bit stressful, even without being hard on myself! I have so many ideas and photos for posts, so I will get around to updating once I have a little spare time. For now, though, I just wanted to check in and let you know that I appreciate you sticking around!

Monday, February 1, 2016

I recently had a discussion with a friend at work about the most famous people we've ever met. I finally decided that baseball player Cal Ripken Jr. was probably the most famous person I've met. He's probably the name that would most likely be known to people anyway. Our years of going to Warped Tours and shows at small venues have led to us meeting lots of bands and some of them did end up becoming pretty famous. I'm not sure just how famous Amanda Palmer is, I mean she is married to Neil Gaiman, but she is definitely always who comes to mind when I think of celebrity encounters. I'm not sure where she ranks in actual fame, but in my world, she's pretty massive. Oh how I wish I hadn't been so shy and awkward, but I met her before I had nearly as much confidence and sass as I have now and I just couldn't muster up the strength to tell her how amazing and inspiring she is or how her music just makes me feel all the feels. All of them. This song is definitely one of the more emotional ones for me and I can't quite make it through it without tears running down my face. It's so lovely and tells such a sweet and sad story. Sorry to a bit of a downer on a Monday, but this song is worth sharing. As a chaser, I'm including the video that introduced me to Amanda Palmer and I think is a pretty accurate portrayal of what is usually going on inside my head! Enjoy and happy Monday!