Bert: (To Rex and Mike) Those visitors are nice. They came and said 'sorry', and I said 'sorry' too. Then they cleaned me like driver does. They know lots about engines. The Thin One's writing about me in a book. He promised he'd write about you too. Think of that!

Narrator: Mike had trouble with some sheep. He grumbled about them dreadfully.

Rex: They're silly but they're useful.

Mike: What!

Rex: Farmers sell their wool.

Mike: What's that?

Rex: People make clothes from wool. You know - things they wear instead of paint.

Bert: But I don't understand, Sir. We can't drive sheep down the line. They wouldn't go straight.

Rex: Silly! We don't drive sheep, we take their wool, in bales on trucks. It'll be easy.

The Small Controller: (Laughs) Very well, Rex. You seem to know all about it, so you shall take the next train.

Willie: Crumbs! That's torn it! I must warn Rex.

Rex: (happily to himself) I said it was easy! I said it was easy!

Rex: Stop! Stop! Stop!

Narrator: He whistled.

The trucks: On! On! On!

Narrator: Urged the stupid trucks.

The passengers: Oooh! Look! There's been an accident!

Rex: That accident served me right for being swanky.

Bert: No. It wasn't your fault at all.

Mike: Sorry we laughed.

The Small Controller: I'm proud of you all. Thanks to Rex, the accident did little harm. Bert and Mike worked like heroes , and our customers admire the way we managed. They thought we were a 'toy railway', but now they say we're Really Useful. They've promised us plenty more work when the wool traffic is done.

Narrator: The trucks complained bitterly; but then, trucks always do and no one takes much notice. The coaches complained too. No sooner had they arrived with one train, then they had to go out again with fresh passengers as another.

I started my life-long interest in railways approximately 50 years ago when, one Christmas, I received a first edition of Thomas the Tank Engine in a parcel from Santa Claus. As a book dealer, I very much regret that I do not still own that first edition. My mother gave it away to the local hospital with a load of Eagle annuals and other things, which I also regret I no longer own.

From a childhood enlivened by the Reverend W Awdry's books, I remember the wonderful character of the Fat Controller. He was a bureaucrat; he was a man with a hat; and he was derided by the people who really ran the railway – who, in those stories, were the engines – for not knowing much about rail engineering. It sounds a little like Railtrack.