As soon as Karl Lagerfeld explains that he sleeps in "a long, full-length white shirt, in a material called poplin imperial, made for me by Hilditch & Key in Paris after a design of a 17th-century men's nightshirt I saw at the Victoria and Albert Museum," you get the sense that the Kaiser's daily routine is going to be pretty special.

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The Chanel designer/ice cream pitchman/probable robot details a day in his life for the new Harper's Bazaar. And I do mean details.

Here are the things Karl Lagerfeld drinks: Diet Coke. Sugar-free protein shakes prepared for him by his doctor. And Diet Coke. "I drink Diet Coke from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. I can even drink it in the middle of the night, and I can sleep. I don't drink coffee, I don't drink tea, I drink nothing else." Karl Lagerfeld finds all hot drinks "very strange." He drinks ten cans per day.

Here are the things Karl Lagerfeld puts in his bath: "I used to have a product I loved, by Shu Uemura, but they don't make it anymore, so I found a French product that softens the water; it's a hundred years old. I put half a bottle in."

Here is how Karl Lagerfeld keeps his hair white: Klorane dry shampoo.

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Here are the newspapers that Karl Lagerfeld reads: "I do most of my reading in the morning. I have a special canopy for that, near the window, where I can see the Louvre and the Seine. I only read, look at books, and sketch. And daydream — daydreaming's important too. At night there are the dreams too, but I don't have too many. I read the French, English, and some American papers, some German papers, Women's Wear."

Here is Karl Lagerfeld's policy on exercise: "My doctor said it's not necessary. I did a lot when I was very young, and all you do when you're young stays."

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Here is how Karl Lagerfeld has lunch: "I never have lunch."

Here is what Karl Lagerfeld does as he is driven to his office at Chanel: "On my way to the Chanel studio, I like to look around, I like to look at Paris. I never get tired of Paris. A lot of people are on the phone all the time; they don't see anything anymore."

Here is what Karl Lagerfeld hates most: "What I hate most is when you have to look at your watch and get in a hurry to change for dinner, if you have an important dinner. Every dinner is important; you should never be without a dinner, but this I'm a little tired of. I did a lot of it in my life."

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Here is how Karl Lagerfeld regards his cat, Choupette: "The cat is like a very refined object; she doesn't go into the street, and she doesn't go to other places." When Karl Lagerfeld is out, Choupette is cared for by a maid.

All told, Lagerfeld seems to have a pretty cushy schedule, albeit one that he pursues with a quasi-military sense of routine. He sleeps for seven hours, eats a breakfast of steamed apple and two of his protein shakes while reading. Then, still in his nightgown, he sketches. After bathing and dressing, he goes to Chanel headquarters around 5 p.m. and works there for three hours. "I'm not there in the studio draping — I don't do those things," says the designer. "My work is very conceptual."