Good, had to ask. You've got the best job in the world. Discuss. (Sounds somewhat coy) I've got a job I love doing. I love watching football matches, and I love the game, so in that sense I possibly have. I don't enjoy all the travel involved though. That's a massive grind.

How much travelling exactly? Well, not exactly, but roughly? Well it's not as bad as it was on Capital Radio, when I covered 150 games in one season, 1998 I think it was, which worked out at four games a week. I've cut back now but I'm still on the road a couple of times a week and there's the Champions League, where you're travelling abroad. So there's still a lot of travel.

Oh woe, etc. What's Britain's best service station? Britain's best service station? [Pauses for puzzled thought] Well I'll tell you something - there should definitely be a service station between the last one on the M40 and Brighton, where I live. If you are coming down from Manchester or Liverpool on a mid-week night and you feel tired, you've got a hell of a long way to go before you can take a break.

It's nothing short of a disgrace Indeed. I was actually very, very lucky recently on that stretch - I fell asleep at the wheel and the car went off the road. I found myself at a roundabout at the Pease Pottage turn-off. I should have been a gonna, but I'm still here.

Best service station? Come on, it's important. Erm, probably the services at Toddington in Bedfordshire, simply because when I travelled at Capital that's where we'd all meet up en route.

As you've moved up the commentary ladder, have The Suits put you under any pressure to tone your commentary down? No, and in many ways I've stamped my foot and made sure that I haven't toned it down.

You sound a tad piqued by that question... Not so much the question, but that my style has ever been an issue. There was a lot of negative publicity when I first started working for Channel 5, probably because of the way Channel 5 as a whole presented itself more than anything I did. I don't really know where the negative publicity came from but it was quite hurtful. [Clearly on a roll] People who hadn't really listened to the whole match or the whole programme, just to a soundbite. So then people said are you going to tone it down because of this anti-feeling and I said, certainly not, I'm going to carry on doing what I've always done. And that's what I have done.

But you're not as loud as you once were... [Thinks] Maybe I have changed, I don't know. Maybe I have become a little milder as I've got older. To be honest I feel really uncomfortable in these situations.

What situations? Doing interviews like this and being asked to analyse what I do. I hate it. I just go out there and do it, only other people seem to make a big deal about it.

But you're famous and everything Maybe, but I just don't think commentary is a big thing, really. People don't watch television because 'Commentator A' is going to be on, or listen to the radio because 'Commentator A' is going to be on. They watch telly to see a game of football or they listen to the radio because a game is on.

Right, well without wishing to push Small Talk's famously flimsy luck, can you at least recall your worst commentating experience? Let me think... probably when I fell asleep at the mic while covering a ZDS match between Chelsea and Crystal Palace several years ago. It was a radio commentary and it was just very cold and very, very boring.

Did you start dribbling? No, it was a very quick nap. I turned to the co-commentator for his analysis and just dropped off. He had to nudge me to wake me up, otherwise I could have been out for some time.

Have you ever shouted yourself hoarse during a commentary? I have gone hoarse during a commentary, yes. I totally lost my voice at the Manchester United-Crystal Palace FA Cup semi-final replay in 1995, but that was because of a chest virus. The replacement commentator had to help me out.

And out of interest, have you ever shouted at a horse? Yes, I have, because I'm a big horse racing fan.

Which club does the best press box spread? I don't really know because I'm always in the commentary box hours beforehand, and because I'm up in the gantry I don't get to sample the spread at half-time. I recall Derby County always used to do good food before a game, but I'm not sure if that's still the case. They used to do hot things, hot stuff.

Eh? But you were in 8 Mile... [Laughs] People kept asking me if I'd seen the film, but I hadn't. I'd just seen comics taking it off on telly and I just copied them.

You were the shit, erm, cousin. Now, if you could sit in a nice country pub for a few pints with one footballer in the world - dead or alive - who would he be? Bobby Moore. He was a wonderfully warm human being. He treated princes and paupers exactly the same way. He told wonderful football stories, and I am an absolute sucker for football stories.

And he advertised his local, which is admirable [Ignoring Small Talk's aside] He loved the game but he knew where it stood in life. He would walk into a room and heads would turn because he was such a great player and such a great man and yet there was so much modesty about him. I wouldn't even hesitate - I think about him so often. He died the same year as my Dad and it had a devastating effect on my life.

Seems a tad trivial to follow that with the favourite biscuit question... I'm not really a biscuit man, to be honest.

Right. Well who or what would you put in Room 101? [Instantly] Waiting in airports. If I could get rid of all that wasted time, I'd be a far happier man.

What's the last CD you bought? Erm, that would have been the latest Dido album [Small Talk groans]. I like all sorts of music though. I'm a big Bruce Springsteen fan, I like David Bowie, The Beatles, all sorts from all eras. Robbie Williams... The Coral. The only thing I don't like is The Darkness. I just don't like them.

But it's rubbish, they're flogging a stiff hoss. Well I take your point that it's possibly not as good as the first series, but I'm still glued to it.

What colour underpants are you wearing today? They're probably a pair of blue pants.

Can you just double check? Fret not, Small Talk's not looking. I'd be happy to, but I can't see below the black thermals.

Eh? I'm up in Liverpool for the game against Marseille and I'm expecting a cold night.

Ah, right. How much is a pint of milk? (We claim 40p) Erm, 50p? That makes it sound like I don't do the shopping but I do, it's just that I heap it all in the trolley and don't bother looking at prices.

Well it was close enough. Kylie Minogue or Britney Spears? Kylie Minogue. Not musically, just for the fact that she's re-invented herself very cleverly. She's got longevity.

Indeed, she must be gone 40. If a lion was to fight a tiger who would win? A tiger, I don't have much natural history knowledge, but tigers are one of my favourite animals, so I would have to back it against a lion.

Cheese or chocolate? Definitely cheese, and given the choice, a nice Camembert.

What's your poison? I'd have to say lager.

Kiddy Fizz or Purple Tin? Sorry?

Sorry, how strong do you go? I like a Stella or a Kronenburg, which are both about 5%, I think.

Both 5.2%, to be exact. Tea or coffee? Definitely tea. Tetley's normally. I'm trying to cut back on the amount of coffee I'm drinking, so tea please.

Finally, where are you off to now? I'll be going straight back to my notes for tonight's game.

Ah, consummate pro. Well thanks for your time. Not a problem. And I'm sorry about the questions about the commentary, it's just that I don't like talking about it. People think there's some art to commentating but I don't agree. I just go out and do it. I just... (lets out an apologetic sigh) I just do it.

No need to apologise, Jonathan, no need at all. Thanks again. Cheers.

Jonathan Pearce commentates on Radio Five Live, but he wouldn't want you to be impressed by the fact.