Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Kuch Kam tha Kaminey mein...

So what was missing?? I'm still scratching my head, trying to put my finger on it. I watched what is being hailed as the 'Best Film of 2009' ( come on guys, we are only in August!) on monday at Inox, 5.40 pm show. The hall wasn't even half full. Word of mouth already?? I met a friend in the lobby. She'd seen an earlier show. I could tell from her expression she wasn't exactly ecstatic. She smiled sweetly when I asked, " Liked it?" and said, " Theek, theek.... but I can't understand why it was given 4 stars by the critics." I told her these days every third film gets 4 stars - doesn't mean a thing. Georgia coffee and popcorn in hand, I went and took my seat expectantly. Opening scenes?? So-so. It will get better, I said. It has to. Shahid No.1 comes on looking like ... Shahid No. 2, 3, 4, and 5. The same floppy , coloured hair, the same cute smile. It will get better, I said. The popcorn was 1\3rd over. Priyanka comes on next. She is called Sweety. Oh Oh. Wrong name. Never met a Maharashtrian girl called Sweety. Now there are two Sweeties ( Shahid No.1 and her). Priyanka gets knocked up by the Sweety who forgot to wear a condom. He 's the one who lisps... no stutters... no, lisps. Stutters. Lisps. Stutters. Forget it. Does it really matter? Well, to the dumb cops it does.It will get better, I said, through gritted teeth. Both the Sweeties are dancing. And someone somewhere is strumming a guitar that's filled with snow... you know... cocaine. The disjointed script trundles along at a lunatic pace.... and goes nowhere. Shahid No. 2 is a baddie. How do we know?? He scowls and wears blinkers as he tries to out race a horse during the Derby. It will get better, I said. My popcorn is running out. So is my patience. Sweety Priyanka's demented brother ( Raj Thackeray, do you love your ridiculous send- up or do you love it??), decides he wants the guitar and all three Sweeties for himself. There is news for him - some Black dudes from Angola want ditto ditto. Mr. Floppy Hair is still stuttering\lisping\sluttering, while the preggie bride is going berserk with a sten gun. By now I'm ready to accept it is not going to get better. Gawd!!! Could this be the same man who made the brilliant and visually stunning 'Omkara'? Bollywood has FINALLY got to Vishal Bhardwaj. 'Kaminey' ??? Neigh, neigh.

This is what I wanted to hear, a real review. Life Partner atleast does not pretend and so ok. Why did the critics get overboard with this pathetic movie? Thanks for an honest review. All thunder and lightning and no rain.

Back fresh from the late night show of Kaminey with the exact thoughts ringing in my head.Pret-ty disjointed storyline. Bad guy wants Lisp but ends up with Stutter, maharashtrian polit wants Stutter but ends up with Lisp. They exchange. Then get exchanged back. Two gangs fire at each other. Enter third gang and everything's ablaze.It's like ping pong with guns.

I actually disagreee.... i think its a pretty decent movie. Shahid is very well away from the chocolate boy looks he is always shown as and we are so bored of. I would call this movie in the genre of Crime-Comedy.. and not the slapstick one.. which is a good thing. I could actually sit in a movie and enjoy the fast pace, and the growing confusion, and laugh at the lisps and stutters.. and wait for the next scene! Actually the finale shot of the entire gand war! Was comical.. and i dont think Vishal B. was trying to portray it as a serious one!The performance of all the side actors, Michail, the Bhau, the Diamond stealer fell right into place especially since they are pretty unfamiliar faces. The scene of bhau and Michail teasing the gun and dancing.. is very good. The Bong dacoits yes, they are funny!!!The scene of Shahid running with the horses.. was not a race.. my take on it, was beautifully depicted.. he is focused has blinkers.. and just running towards his finish line.. without even looking anywhere else.. goes with the baddy personality for sure!Over all.. a good watch.. and defi a breather from the masala movie.. but yes.. the name for Priyanka should not have been Sweety.. agreed.. I defi did enjoy the popcorn with the movie!

Oh no...I was sure you will love this movie. After ages,we got to see a movie that does not insult the intelligence of viewers. It was an edgy, different, racy and engaging movie. The four stars are totally justifiable. I loved it. Think of movies like Om Shanti Om and Rab ne bana ddi jodi and you will experience a sense of respect for Vishal and his genre of films.

yeah i definitely guess the movie will not appeal to any morons who prefer bollywood to stick to the popcorn boy falls in love et all flick and never even heard of slick movies made by Tarantino etc.I'm not comparing it to Tarantino movie but it is sleek, has a subtle plot and beautifully shot action scenes. And no, he is not trying to race with horses.

Very disappointing review Ms Dee. If you only have an acquired taste for movies, why review all of them, let the critics do that. This is a badass movie, one of its kinds for Hindi cinema; it is not the movie's fault if you did not get it.

anyway it would be better than DevD, at least we know its a shut your brain movie.from the sound of it vishal bhardwaj has got over Shakespear and is trying out PG wodehouse-- now I get it, a midsummer nights dream.

Goodness, Shobhha, was a mean-spirited review! You didn't like Love Aaj Kal or Kaminey....not that they were masterpieces, but I thought they were well above the average and had some freshness and originality....which, to be a little mean-spirited myself, is way more than one can say about any of the bodice-ripping, Jackie Collins imitations that you have written (going by as much as I could bear to read, which was usually 2-3 chapters). You have a pretty superior point-of-view on almost everything, could you measure up to your own exacting standards?

bibB received 1124 comments while your this piece got only 15. why?Your blog also seems similar to quality of 'kaminey' which u have reviewed. The moment big B's blog is out daily, hundreds of comments are ready to pour in. why? there must be something magnetic in his aproach. have u ever analysed? Ofcourse i am fan of your writings and do read your articles anxiously.g.b.pathak

bibB received 1124 comments while your this piece got only 15. why?Your blog also seems similar to quality of 'kaminey' which u have reviewed. The moment big B's blog is out daily, hundreds of comments are ready to pour in. why? there must be something magnetic in his aproach. have u ever analysed? Ofcourse i am fan of your writings and do read your articles anxiously.g.b.pathak

1124. But I prefer to comment here because my comment is not lost in a sea of comments. Shobhaa can read each and every comment. Here we can mildly criticise her and she will not mind it so much. And we are not in awe of her. Rather we admire her. We are not forced to praise her to be in her good books. And there is variety and unpredictability of a woman here which is quite attractive.

were you spaced out when you watched this movie, madam cynic? i suggest you go and watch it again, in a better frame of mind and you'll get all that you missed at first. and you really have a grouse against mainstream bollywood stars, have'nt you? any past rejections?

With all due respect to your opinion ma'am, the movie certainly wasn't as bad as you project it. And why would you contradict yourself in two successive posts. I was expecting a better review from you, But you are entitled to your opinion, so all's well :)

thats what one of my friends told me.. that it should be called - haseena and not kameena.(kaminey) lol.

Speaking of the condom thing... Condom the word doesnt get an A certificate now a days.. even the other C word doesnt get an A certificate.. we live in an era where kids ask.. "is this a condom balloon"

Speaking about Priyanka... I heard that she plays a very bold part...

we once glamorized the sati savitri image... now is teh age of the Slutty Savita...

Common babes i disagree .....it is actually a damm good moive..................way ahead of its time......anyway.......v all hav likes and dislikes.......remember u did not like dev d too.......de it seems u more into kjo stuff.....

What's wrong with Indian filmmakers, why do they still ridicule stuttering?? This is the only disability some people still laugh at. It is not fun, watching such a film is a very uncomfortable experience for a person who stutters. From time immemorial - they have often been misjudged as fools, psychopaths and figures of ridicule in our society. Literature, film, newspaper and television repeatedly take up and even intensify these wrong, one-sided and distorted pictures. People who stutter are often discriminated against. They often cannot go into normal social interactions. They sometimes attempt, or even commit suicide.

if its a gud movie,the sound cud go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what is going on....

arrey,aaj kal aise hardly films hote hain jisme kuch dhum hain...

honestly speaking,hindi movies has bcum a complete masala based ones with no themes at all...

apart frm the yesteryear classics as'abhimaan','aradhana','aandhi' and yes,of thre semi recent lot,i guess'kya kehna'gained applause and helped in creating an awareness amng the yngsters...'baghban' had a theme,but the way it was portrayed was wildly terrific/amazing..he he

there is not a single movie in list worth whiling away our time.I personally,would like our bollywood directors to grow up and generate matured films with the ral thing(theme)...running around the trees,walking around in mauritius,spain or wearing semi clad dresses and skiing does not hit reality...life is all about challenges that meet with bitter hardships.ofcourse,movies are meant to be entertainer,therefore,apart from humour,i guess ther cud be a little inputs abt the real life like circumstances too...isn't it?..the 'hardships' has to be emoted well and shown to the public,there lies the creativity.I bet this will surely be a challenging one for the nexgen directors...!

Gud write-up SD,such honest and satirical criticism,should atleast hit the heads of the movie makers,who consider the audiences as a mere lump of solid clay...!!

OMG! Abhie takk jitne bhi reviews padhe all r praising "Kaminey" but i think this one is different .....

We were planning to go for this movie tomorrow parr lagta hai abb nai. If Vishal Bhardwaj will know so many ppl cancelled their plans after reading your review He'll raise objection on your blog.....hahaha"But you are a big girl now so can handle controversies"

I haven't watched the movie yet...but yes... have heard a lot about it...and that's why also expecting a lot... :/ ... seems like 2009 has been a cursed year for bollywood... haven't seen any bolly movie this year so far, which i would like to watch ever again :/.

Kaminey - The movie seems to be different because it generates the shadow of fear but above all the continuity - claps for the editor. And yes, Vishal jee - good job if not excellent. Because it could be much better if love angle was as powerfully emotional as Charlie - The bad character. Last 10 minutes or so - it is another movie or so called bollywood movie And momentum is lost. The music reminds me Late R.D. Burman sahab.Priyanka - Excellent.***star if not ****Cheers !!!But yes, violence should be less if possible.

Hi, I watched the movie this weekend. And am sorry to say that, movie was much much much better than your reviews. I completly disagree with your reviews, and i guess you were sleeping while watching movie thts why u got confused

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