The Adventures of Roderick Random, by Tobias Smollett

Chapter XXXV

Captain Whiffle sends for me — his situation described — his surgeon arrives, prescribes for him, and
puts him to bed — a bed is put up for Mr. Simper contiguous to the state room, which, with other parts of the captains
behaviour, gives the ship’s company a very unfavourable idea of their commander — I am detained in the West Indies by
the admiral, and go on board of the Lizard sloop of war in quality of surgeon’s mate, where I make myself known to the
surgeon, who treats me very kindly — I go on shore, sell my ticket, purchase necessaries, and, at my return on board,
am surprised at the sight of Crampley, who is appointed lieutenant of the sloop — we sail on a cruise-take a prize in
which I arrive at Port Morant under the command of my messmate, with whom I live in great harmony

He was going on with an eulogium upon the captain, when I received a message to clean myself, and go
up to the great cabin: and with this command I instantly complied, sweetening myself with rosewater from the medicine
chest. When I entered the room, I was ordered to stand by the door, until Captain Whiffle had reconnoitered me at a
distance with a spy-glass. He, having consulted one sense in this manner, bade me advance gradually, that his nose
might have intelligence before it could be much offended: I therefore approached with great caution and success, and he
was pleased to say, “Ay, this creature is tolerable.” I found him lolling on his couch with a languishing air, his head
supported by his valet-de-chambre, who from time to time applied a smelling-bottle to his nose. “Vergette,” said he in
a squeaking tone, “dost think this wretch (meaning me) will do me no injury? May I venture to submit my arm to him?”
“Pon my word,” replied the valet, “I do tink dat dere be great occasion for your honour losing a small quantite of
blodt; and the young man ave quelque chose of de bonne mine.” “Well, then,” said his master, “I think I must venture.”
Then, addressing himself to me, “Hast thou ever blooded anybody but brutes? But I need not ask thee, for thou wilt tell
me a most d — able lie,” “Brutes, sir!” answered I, pulling down his glove, in order to feel his pulse, “I never meddle
with brutes.” “What the devil art thou about?” cried he, “dost thou intend to twist off my hand? Gad’s curse! my arm is
benumbed up to the very shoulder! Heaven have mercy upon me! must I perish under the hands of savages? What an
unfortunate dog was I to come on board without my own surgeon, Mr. Simper.” I craved pardon for having handled him so
roughly, and, with the utmost care, and tenderness, tied up his arm with a fillet of silk. While I was feeling for the
vein, he desired to know how much blood I intended to take from him, and, when I answered, “not above twelve ounces,”
started up with a look full of horror, and bade me be gone, swearing I had a design upon his life. Vergette appeased
him with difficulty, and, opening a bureau, took out a pair of scales, in one of which was placed a small cup; and
putting them into my hand, told me, the captain never lost above an ounce and three drams at one time.

While I prepared for this important evacuation, there came into the cabin a young man gaily dressed, of a very
delicate complexion with a kind of languid smile on his face: which seemed to have been rendered habitual by a long
course of affectation. The captain no sooner perceived him, than, rising hastily, he flew into his arms, crying, “O, my
dear Simper, I am excessively disordered! I have been betrayed, frighted, murdered, by the negligence of my servants,
who suffered a beast, a mule, a bear, to surprise me, and stink me into convulsions with the fumes of tobacco.” Simper,
who by this time, I found, was obliged to act for the clearness of his complexion, assumed an air of softness and
sympathy, and lamented with many tender expressions of sorrow, the sad accident that had thrown him into that
condition; then, feeling his patient’s pulse on the outside of his glove, gave it as his opinion, that his disorder was
entirely nervous, and that some drops of tincture of castor, and liquid laudanum, would be of more service to him than
bleeding, by bridling the inordinate sallies of his spirits, and composing the fermentation of his bile. I was
therefore sent to prepare this prescription, which was administered in a glass of sack posset, after the captain had
been put to bed, and orders sent to the officers on the quarter-deck, to let nobody walk on that side under which he
lay.

While the captain enjoyed his repose the doctor watched over him, and indeed became so necessary, that a cabin was
made for him contiguous to the state room where Whiffle slept, that he might be at hand in case of accidents in the
night. Next day, our commander being happily recovered, gave orders that none of the lieutenants should appear upon
deck without a wig, sword, and ruffles; nor any midshipman, or other petty officer, he seen with a check shirt or dirty
linen. He also prohibited any person whatever, except Simper and his own servants, from coming into the great cabin
without first sending in to obtain leave. These singular regulations did not prepossess the ship’s company in his
favour: but, on the contrary, gave scandal an opportunity to be very busy with his character, and accuse him of
maintaining a correspondence with his surgeon not fit to be named.

In a few weeks, our ship being under sailing orders, I was in hope of revisiting my native country, in a very short
time, when the admiral’s surgeon came on board, and, sending for Morgan and me to the quarter-deck, gave us to
understand there was a great scarcity of surgeons in the West Indies; that he was commanded to detain one mate out of
every great ship that was bound for England; and desired us to agree between ourselves, before the next day at that
hour, which of us should stay behind. We were thunderstruck at this proposal, and stared at one another some time
without speaking; at length the Welshman broke silence, and offered to remain in the West Indies, provided the admiral
would give him a surgeon’s warrant immediately; but he was told there was no want of chief surgeons, and that he must
be contented with the station of mate, till he should be further provided for in due course. Whereupon Morgan flatly
refused to quit the ship for which the commissioners of the navy had appointed him; and the other told him as plainly,
that if we could not determine the affair by ourselves before to-morrow morning, he must cast lots, and abide by his
chance.

When I recalled to my remembrance the miseries I had undergone in England, where I had not one friend to promote my
interest, or favour my advancement in the navy, and the same time reflected on the present dearth of surgeons in the
West Indies, and the unhealthiness of the climate, which every day almost reduced the number, I could not help thinking
my success would be much more certain and expeditious by my staying where I was, than by returning to Europe. I
therefore resolved to comply with a good grace, and next day, when we were ordered to throw dice, told Morgan he needed
not trouble himself, for I would voluntarily submit to the admiral’s pleasure. This frank declaration was commended by
the gentleman, who assured me, it should not fare the worse with me for my resignation. Indeed he was as good as his
word, and that very afternoon procured a warrant, appointing me surgeon’s mate of the Lizard sloop-of-war, which put me
on a footing with every first mate in the service.

My ticket being made out, I put my chest and bedding on board a canoe that lay alongside, and, having shook hands
with my trusty friend the sergeant, and honest Jack Rattlin, who was bound for Greenwich Hospital, I took my leave of
Morgan with many tears, after we had exchanged our sleeve buttons as remembrances of each other. Having presented my
new warrant to the captain of the Lizard, I inquired for the doctor, whom I no sooner saw than I recollected him to be
one of those young fellows with whom I had been committed to the round-house, during our frolic with Jackson, as I have
related before. He received me with a good deal of courtesy, and, when I put him in mind of our former acquaintance,
expressed great joy at seeing me again, and recommended me to an exceeding good mess, composed of the gunner and
master’s mate. As there was not one sick person in the ship, I got leave to go ashore next day with the gunner, who
recommended me to a Jew, that bought my ticket at the rate of forty per cent discount; and, having furnished myself
with the necessaries I wanted, returned on board in the evening, and, to my surprise, found my old antagonist Crampley
walking upon deck. Though I did not fear his enmity, I was shocked at his appearance, and communicated my sentiments on
that subject to Mr. Tomlins the surgeon, who told me that Crampley, by dint of some friends about the admiral, had
procured a commission, constituting him lieutenant on board the Lizard; and advised me, now he was my superior officer,
to behave with some respect towards him, or else he would find a thousand opportunities of using me ill. This advice
was a bitter potion to me, whom pride and resentment had rendered utterly incapable of the least submission to, or even
of a reconciliation with, the wretch who had, on many occasions, treated me so inhumanly: however, I resolved to have
as little connection as possible with him, and to ingratiate myself as much as I could with the rest of the officers,
whose friendship might be a bulwark to defend me from the attempts of his malice.

In less than a week we sailed on a cruise, and having weathered the east end of the island, had the good fortune to
take a Spanish barcolongo, with her prize, which was an English ship bound for Bristol, that sailed from Jamaica a
fortnight before, without convoy. All the prisoners who were well, we put onshore on the north side of the island; the
prizes were manned with Englishmen, and the command of the barcolongo given to my friend the master’s mate, with orders
to carry them into Port Morant, and there to remain until the Lizard’s cruise should be ended, at which time she would
touch at the same place in her way to Port Royal. With him I was sent to attend the wounded Spaniards as well as
Englishmen, who amounted to sixteen, and to take care of them on shore in a house that was to be hired as an hospital.
This destination gave me a great deal of pleasure, as I should, for some time, be freed from the arrogance of Crampley,
whose inveteracy against me had already broken out on two or three occasions since he was become a lieutenant. My
messmate, who very much resembled my uncle, both in figure and disposition, treated me on board of the prize with the
utmost civility and confidence: and, among other favours, made me a present of a silver-hilted hanger, and a pair of
pistols mounted with the same metal, which fell to his share in plundering the enemy. We arrived safely at Morant, and,
going on shore, pitched upon an empty storehouse; which we hired for the reception of the wounded, who were brought to
it next day, with beds and other necessaries; and four of the ship’s company appointed to attend them and obey me.