A heat wave has taken over a good portion of the United States. We'd never suggest you sneak into a private pool to cool off, but hypothetically, if you were going to sneak into a private pool, this is how you'd do it.

Note: Sneaking into a private hotel or apartment complex or anywhere else could be considered trespassing. We're not suggesting you do it, we're just giving you examples of how you could.

Once you mark the hotel you're interested in infiltrating, it's time to get the lay of the land. Most hotels require you to give a room number to get into the pool area. Knowing what numbers the hotels use is important. Amazing Travel Concierge explains:

Occasionally you may encounter some version of a check-in desk at the entrance to the pool that asks for your room number. 99% of the time this check-in� requires nothing more than a self-reported name and a room number. All that matters in this case is that you make up a room number that conforms to the numerical code of that hotel. No one on staff ever checks that the names match the room. Usually it will be a 3 digit number, but occasionally it may be four digits. Before you attempt to make up a room number, be sure to pay attention to the signs in the lobbies and hallways directing guests to their rooms. These signs are a dead giveaway to the numerical coding that the hotel uses! For example, Rooms 301-316 to the left confirms that you will need a three-digit room code. It is important to note the number of floors in the hotel since the first digit almost always indicates the floor number.

Once your research is done it's time to make your move into the pool. Photo by Kyle Laughlin.

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"Can I help you" is the all-purpose hotel-employee phrase, the bland mantra which hotel employees have been trained to repeat in virtually any situation... The wisest angle, in my humble opinion, is to always pretend "can I help you" actually means "can I help you," and respond "no, thank you." Don't let hotel employees get away with weakly implying suspicion—force them to directly accuse you, and thereby risk their jobs, if they really want a confrontation.

Show up in your pool clothes. Backpacks are a dead giveaway. Do not bring your own towel; the hotel has towels at the pool, and no guest would bring their own flowered Waikiki beach towel. Stay away from scraggly board shorts and Hollywood Boulevard T-shirts. Rooms at these places cost upwards of $1,000 a night, so dress like someone who'd be staying there. Gravitate towards whites and linens. Ask yourself, "What would George Clooney do?"

I loitered in the nearby bathroom "putting on makeup" until a pretty twentysomething tourist named Rebecca from Los Angeles came in. I explained that I was a swimming-pool-deprived New Yorker and begged her to smuggle me in.

Infiltration adds one final tip for not calling attention yourself on security cameras:

Also, when you enter a hotel, don't immediately hop on the elevator and head directly to the pool. If anyone happens to be monitoring the lobby and the pool area, they're bound to wonder why you didn't stop at your room first. Always take an indirect route.

With all that, you should be ready to hit the pool. But that doesn't mean you can start acting like you own the place. Photo by Neeta Lind.

Be Respectful and Act Like You Paid For It

Finally, once you've infiltrated the pool and you're enjoying a nice swim, it's important to remember that you still need to act like a guest. Don't go running around with beer bottles, causing a bunch of noise, or being an all-around jerk. Hop into the pool, cool off, and be polite. As with any spy mission, your main goal is to not draw attention to yourself. Don't leave any evidence behind.

The consequences might be severe for getting caught sneaking into a pool, but if it's worth it to you, doing it the right way is your best bet to stay out of trouble. Have you ever snuck into a pool and got away scot-free? Share your tips in the comments.