Johnny Colorado was a New York Jew, who went by the name Johnny Colorado because he thought it sounded somewhat less Semitic than his given name, which was Mordechai Jakob Schwartz. Not that he was fooling anybody. His yarmulke, pais, and long black beard saw to that.

Johnny Colorado did not blend in with his peers. His hair was not buzzed; his long wirey forearms bore no tattoos. Johnny Colorado was, however, uncircumcised, due to an unexplained dispute between his father and mother that had caused them not to speak to each other for 24 years, which was exactly how long Johnny Colorado had been breathing.