10 Fights All Brides Have During Wedding Planning and How to Avoid ‘Em

10 Fights All Brides Have During Wedding Planning and How to Avoid ‘Em

You want to remember your wedding as the best day ever—not the event that nearly cost you your friendships and family relationships…not to mention your sanity. While the stress that comes along with wedding planning is inevitable (sorry to tell ya, ladies!), these expert tips will help ensure that minor scuffles don’t turn into earthshaking blowouts.

Wedding Fight: Your Bridesmaid Is Slacking

Ugh, the bridesmaid dresses have been selected, but one bridesmaid has yet to send in her measurements and it’s holding up the whole order. Before you consider firing her, assume she has a really good reason for the delay, says Sharon Naylor, author of Bridesmaid on a Budget. Express concern when you write, or call her to follow up and gently remind her to send her information to either you or the store. Or, if you think she may want to quit your bridal party, ask her if she wants out. She may not know how to raise the topic with you.

Wedding Fight: Your Groom Isn’t Helping With Anything

Sure, picking out flowers and invitations may not be on your man’s weekend fun list, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be involved in other ways. Grooms should be open about which aspects of the wedding they want to be part of, says Harmony Walton, owner of The Bridal Bar, an event planning and resource company. If he doesn’t know, explain to him what his options are regarding food, photography, music, etc. And remember: Don’t make the wedding the only interest you share. Plan non-wedding-related activities and schedule a date night where wedding talk is off limits.

Wedding Fight: Your Parents Want to Take Over Your Day

Parents who are involved in paying for part of your big day often forget that it’s still about you. If this happens, talk to your parents, and his, about the type of wedding you want and how much you think it will cost. Then include your parents in the planning process so they don’t feel like they’re just an ATM. Narrow your choices of vendors and ask your parents to meet with them to help you make a final decision.

Wedding Fight: Your Taste Clashes With Your Parents’

When your idea of the ideal invitation doesn’t exactly match up to your parents’ more traditional style, compromise by including a mix of contemporary and traditional details. Choose a white or ivory paper with navy, brown, plum or gray ink to add some color, says Melinda Morris, owner of Lion in the Sun paperie. Also opt for an easy-to-read, clean font, and consider letterpress invitations, which can look formal but are textured and contemporary.

Wedding Fight: His Parents Want to Be Listed on the Invitation—Even Though They’re Not Paying for the Wedding

Your parents are paying for the wedding, but his parents are insisting their names appear on the wedding invitation too. Eeep—is there a proper way to handle this one? Etiquette dictates that the hosts’ names appear at the top of the wedding invitation, says Morris, so if the groom’s parents are not paying, their names can be listed under the groom’s as “Son of Mr. & Mrs. John Smith.” If you haven’t hit this snag, plan ahead by asking both sets of parents before finalizing your design if they have a preference where their names appear.

Wedding Fight: Your Groom Wants a Blowout Bachelor Party

Your guy swears he hasn’t done a keg stand since his freshman year of college, but you’re worried the old habit (or worse) might resurface during a wild bachelor-party weekend. While you shouldn’t demand that he change his plans, don’t be afraid to tell him your concerns about an over-the-top bros’ night out. Two more pieces of advice: First, make sure the bachelor party is held at least two weeks before the wedding date so he and his groomsmen have time to recover. Next, plan your bachelorette party for the same night as his so you’re not sitting at home wondering what he’s up to.

Wedding Fight: You Can’t Agree on Your Honeymoon Plans

At last, the best part: booking your honeymoon. You’re set on white sands and clear blue waters…until you find out he’s more gung-ho about climbing Kilimanjaro. Instead of one of you having a less-than-ideal trip, find a location that will allow you both to enjoy the type of honeymoon you each want. Segment the trip into one part relaxation, one part adventure, or consider splitting it up into two destinations.

Wedding Fight: Your Parents Want to Invite Their Friends and Your Extended Family, but You Don’t

Aunt and uncle who? If you and your fiancé want a small wedding, but your parents have other plans for the guest list, telling them to ax the people you barely know won’t be fun. If you’ve picked a location with a limited capacity, explain to your parents that it’s physically impossible to have all their added guests. Instead, suggest that your parents host a small postwedding reception after you’ve returned from your honeymoon to which they can invite anyone they want to celebrate your marriage.

Wedding Fight: You and Your Parents Don’t Agree on Entertainment

You’re set on making an iPod playlist for your reception, but your parents are insisting on live music. Try to compromise by hiring a band to play during dinner and for part of the reception, and then use your iPod for when the musicians are on a break and the last 90 minutes of the wedding, says Maria Cooke, event designer at Ritzy Bee Events. If that still won’t fly, check out wedding bands that play contemporary music and talk to recently married couples who’ve hired them to learn if guests of every generation enjoyed the party.

A kiwi peeler and avocado scoop may sound awesome to your fiancé when you’re putting together your registry, but you know there’s no chance they’ll even make it out of the packaging once you get ‘em home. Yikes! Try putting the groom in charge of specific areas of the home, such as the bar, den or backyard, and let him select all the related items for your registry, says Chris Easter, co-founder of The Man Registry. Another option: Have him create a supplemental registry at a second store or online retailer for the stuff he really wants.