Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's A Girl....Again

According to the ultrasound today we're having another girl. I take her word for it since I've never been very good at picking stuff out in those pictures. Even if I could figure out what's going on down there I wouldn't know what to look for anyways since I have no idea what a dangle looks like on one of those pictures. I never had any doubt about the sex of this one though. I don't have a problem with having three daughters either but I reserve the right to amend that statement at a later date because, as someone so kindly pointed out, I'm going to have three teenage daughters running around my house in about 13 years or so.

Let's put that into perspective. In thirteen years, I'm going to be a Tutti away from being Mrs. Garrett. That's right, you take the good, you take the bad, you take the rest, and there you'll have my life. Actually, it'll probably be more like towards the end of the show when it wasn't funny so that would make me like Clooney then. Ok, the show was never funny; I just wanted to cast myself as Clooney. In reality, if I had to perform some emergency room tasks to save lives there'd be more than a few casualties. And if I had to rob a casino vault, a museum, or another casino the best I could do is probably come up with like 7, maybe 8 guys tops. Certainly nowhere near the double digits I've been led to believe is required. Anyways, the point is I really enjoy the entire Ocean's trilogy. Wait, I think I got off topic there.

Ok, a third girl, that's right. The big upside on this one is I've already got experience raising girls. With the older one being three and a half and her little sister almost two, that gives me five and a half years of experience parenting girls. Throw a third into the mix and by the time the firs one reaches her teen years I'll have like 30 years under my belt. Keep your criticisms of my math to yourself; it comforts me to think this way. Another big upside of having three girls close in age is that I should only have to do hugely embarrassing things once when they're teens. If not all of their friends witness it for themselves, they'll certainly hear about it from someone. That means I'll only have to show up to one math class in my pyjama pants and rattiest t-shirt to deliver the anti-fungal ointment my little darling forgot to bring with her. I figure if I do that for the middle child then the kids a couple years ahead and a couple behind will both hear about it, thus spreading out the damage to their social status. Of course, that should only be a concern if any of them have met my rules for qualifying for dating eligibility. Namely, they have to be able to kick someone's ass before they're allowed to date. I don't care if it's some sort of martial arts, self defence, kickboxing, wrestling or some really cool ultimate fighting type combination thereof. If they want to date then they'll have to learn something in that ballpark.

Of course, the downside is that while I'll be learning from one kid and using that on the others, they'll also be learning how to manipulate me or get around the rules and pass that on to each other. Considering they'll have the advantage number wise it's kind of intimidating. Luckily, I'll have backup in this little adventure so I can always play my trump card. Go ask your mother.