Christmas Expectations

Hi, I'm only 19. Not pregnant and no children. But hopefully one day with my current boyfriend. My problem is... we've been together for 2 years in January. Last Christmas We had arranged for him to come to mine Christmas Eve, do our own thing Christmas day and his Boxing Day - which I thought was perfect. The a few days before he said his family wouldn't let him... they are VERY family oriented which I think is nice, but a little over the top. Now this Christmas he is definitely coming over Christmas Eve since he has never met my Dad's side of the family and this is really the only time of year where they are all together. Now is it wrong of me/ too high expectations for me to see him Christmas Day?! We HAD arranged a xmas dinner at mine (since he said they were only doing breakfast and lunch) but apparently he can't do that anymore. So I kinda of gave up! Then I thought that was stupid, we should see each other xmas day! I thought anytime would be good enough so I thought he sould come over for 20 mins in the morning just to say hello and exchange gifts and I would go over for 20 mins to his in the afternoon because I actually want to see his family. But the fact that he still has to ask his family if he is allowed to see me kinda makes me think how much he is willing to try for me. I kinda assumed 20 mins was a done deal since he is at his grandparents for xmas and they are a 5 min drive - if that from my house and we both have our license. I just want to know you're opinions on the matter and your stories regarding expectations, in laws e.t.c it is really doing my head in! We are in Australia btw Thanks

Hi, I'm only 19. Not pregnant and no children. But hopefully one day with my current boyfriend. My problem is... we've been together for 2 years in January. Last Christmas We had arranged for him to come to mine Christmas Eve, do our own thing Christmas day and his Boxing Day - which I thought was perfect. The a few days before he said his family wouldn't let him... they are VERY family oriented which I think is nice, but a little over the top. Now this Christmas he is definitely coming over Christmas Eve since he has never met my Dad's side of the family and this is really the only time of year where they are all together. Now is it wrong of me/ too high expectations for me to see him Christmas Day?! We HAD arranged a xmas dinner at mine (since he said they were only doing breakfast and lunch) but apparently he can't do that anymore. So I kinda of gave up! Then I thought that was stupid, we should see each other xmas day! I thought anytime would be good enough so I thought he sould come over for 20 mins in the morning just to say hello and exchange gifts and I would go over for 20 mins to his in the afternoon because I actually want to see his family. But the fact that he still has to ask his family if he is allowed to see me kinda makes me think how much he is willing to try for me. I kinda assumed 20 mins was a done deal since he is at his grandparents for xmas and they are a 5 min drive - if that from my house and we both have our license. I just want to know you're opinions on the matter and your stories regarding expectations, in laws e.t.c it is really doing my head in! We are in Australia btw Thanks

I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask but DH and I did separate Christmas's until we were married. My family was 1 hour away. We did our own thing together Xmas eve. We dated for 4 years before getting married. The reason is we both knew holidays are stressful but wanted to make sure we didn't stress. Now we do Xmas eve at his family and Xmas day at mine.

I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask but DH and I did separate Christmas's until we were married. My family was 1 hour away. We did our own thing together Xmas eve. We dated for 4 years before getting married. The reason is we both knew holidays are stressful but wanted to make sure we didn't stress. Now we do Xmas eve at his family and Xmas day at mine.

I agree 100% w excitedmom! My husband and I kept our holidays separate until we married Nd also dated almost 4 years. Once you're married or in a long term commitment, you lose the ability to spend every holiday w your family, so just enjoy it and let him enjoy his holiday too :)

I agree 100% w excitedmom! My husband and I kept our holidays separate until we married Nd also dated almost 4 years. Once you're married or in a long term commitment, you lose the ability to spend every holiday w your family, so just enjoy it and let him enjoy his holiday too :)

I don't think there is one standard for every couple regarding how they should spend Christmas. It depends on the couple. I don't see why he doesn't just take you with him to celebrate with his family, though.

I don't think there is one standard for every couple regarding how they should spend Christmas. It depends on the couple. I don't see why he doesn't just take you with him to celebrate with his family, though.

My df and I have been together almost five years. We have a 19mo son together. BEFORE we were engaged and before our kiddo, we shared Holidays. If there was Xmas at his familys? I'd go with him... And vice versa. But, all couples are different. I'm assuming everyone lives close?What worried me most about your post is that he had to basically.. Get permission to see you, and after 2 years your already having problems "sharing" around the Holidays. "Sharing" will get 10x harder once you have children, especially if your already having issues. :( Relationships are all about communication. You really need to sit down and talk through it all.

My df and I have been together almost five years. We have a 19mo son together. BEFORE we were engaged and before our kiddo, we shared Holidays. If there was Xmas at his familys? I'd go with him... And vice versa. But, all couples are different. I'm assuming everyone lives close?What worried me most about your post is that he had to basically.. Get permission to see you, and after 2 years your already having problems "sharing" around the Holidays. "Sharing" will get 10x harder once you have children, especially if your already having issues. :( Relationships are all about communication. You really need to sit down and talk through it all.

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