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Is there a better distillation of the Trump administration after year two? You have reached the White House. We are not functioning. Please try again later.

“I am all alone (poor me) in the White House,” President Trump tweeted at lunchtime Monday, urging Democrats to return to town to negotiate with him.

One pictures the home-alone president, forlorn among Melania Trump’s red Christmas trees in the echoey executive mansion, padding about in bathrobe and slippers, a 72-year-old Kevin McCallister without the resourcefulness to ice the back steps or put ornaments under the windows.

Instead, Trump’s booby traps ensnare the nation:

His orders setting up chaotic withdrawals of U.S. forces from Syria and Afghanistan have allies reeling and adversaries rejoicing.

He forced a government shutdown over 1/10th of 1 percent of the budget — a spectacle that Republican Sen. Bob Corker (Tenn.) Sunday called “made up” and “juvenile.” (Trump responded with a misspelled Twitter attack on Corker.)

Meanwhile, markets continue plunging, in part because of Trump’s trade war and his........