Gay Students Ask For More Support

The 40 young adults and teen-agers packed into the room are talking about what it means to be homosexual in high school.

Here, inside the Gay and Lesbian Community Center, at times they can joke about the discomfort.

Outside, it's rougher.

"There was not one day when I did not want to disappear," said Bora Ucok, 25, recalling his school days in Canada.

When a vice-principal told Ucok that he, too, was gay, Ucok felt he had a friend. He credits that man with saving his life.

"It's very important for teachers to be that supportive," Ucok said.

But teachers and school staff in South Florida and around the nation often are not supportive, say students, adults and teachers at a weekly meeting of the Broward Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender Youth Group.

They say the teasing of homosexual students often is condoned.

"When I was in high school, I got picked on a lot," said Dustin Hall, a 1995 graduate of Western High School in Weston. "I got picked on every period of the day."

None of his teachers told his antagonizers to stop, said Hall, co-chairman of youth-group meetings Thursdays at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Greater Fort Lauderdale.

"Services are not what they need to be," said School Board Chairwoman Lois Wexler, who attended the meeting with board member Carole Andrews.

Now the Broward County School District is trying to become more sensitive toward gay and lesbian students.

Its diversity committee on June 3 approved a definition of diversity that includes sexual orientation. The School Board still must approve the wording.

The Palm Beach County School Board in March decided not to grant gay and lesbian students specific protection from discrimination. Doing so would increase the district's legal liability, it decided, because promising to protect gay and lesbian students from discrimination and failing to do so could lead to lawsuits.

On Thursday, the diversity committee and School Board will undergo sensitivity training.

The goal is to have every district employee trained by 2003.

"I think the most important thing for us to do in the diversity committee is make sure we listen to the gay and lesbian community. I hope they'll be somewhat patient with us because it is a huge issue to tackle," said Maureen Vass, committee member.

De Palazzo, co-head of the Greater Fort Lauderdale Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, said they cannot afford to be too patient, citing statistics from the past few years:

Gay and lesbian youth are five times more likely to try and three times more likely to commit suicide as their heterosexual peers.

97 percent of students in Massachusetts public high schools reported hearing homophobic remarks from peers.

Up to 50 percent of sexual minorities reported being rejected by their parents.

"Sensitivity training does need to take place," Palazzo said. "There needs to be support groups. Teachers need to have explained what to do when an epithet is thrown out."

Two Broward County high schools, Plantation and Taravella, have gay/straight alliances that offer support.

"Anywhere you go in the community, there's always prejudice," said the 16-year-old co-founder of the Taravella Gay/Straight Alliance, who asked that her name not be used.

"For kids who are different in high school, it's a really scary experience if there's no one out there who supports you," she said. "We're not trying to hurt anyone. We want to open people up to loving everybody."

Current and former students from public and private schools tell tales of anti-gay sentiment spilling over to parents, being threatened if they showed up at proms with a date of the same gender, orders from school officials to bring a date of the opposite sex.

"A lot of times you need to step back and realize what you're saying when [a slur] is mentioned and you don't respond to that," said Todd MacLean, executive director of the Community Center. "Step back and say, `Maybe someone around me is gay or lesbian and that upset them.'

"When the slurs are used, it affects us," MacLean said. "

Christine Walker can be reached at cwalker@sun-sentinel.com or 954-356-4550.