Last month's thread is here. Thanks to kensei for getting the thread up so that we could leave behind the drudgery that was the UFC in August. Seriously, a single loving Fight Night? What the gently caress man.

September kicked off with UFC Fight Night: Volkov vs. Struve from Rotterdam in the Netherlands, on the 2nd of the month. This was a take-it-or-leave-it card, with the main event seeing Stefan Struve continue to fail to capitalise on his insane physical advantages of reach and height to actually win fights. Alexander Volkov got the better of him and took the fight as a TKO in the third round. The card featured a large number of local fighters with some decent highlights including Mairbek Taisumov knocking out Felipe Silva in a minute and and half.

UFC 215 was next, coming from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, on the 9th. With the main event originally planned to be Demetrious Johnson defending his Flyweight championship against Ray Borg, the latter was forced to withdraw from the event due to illness two days beforehand. Borg tok serious pains to make sure everyone knew his withdrawing from the fight had NOTHING AT ALL (wink) TO DO WITH HIS WEIGHT CUT (wink) AND HE WOULD BE FINE (wink) AND THAT FIRING HIS NUTRITIONIST WAS COMPLETELY UNRELATED (wink). Another fight that was cancelled for actual legitimate reasons was Junior dos Santos taking on Francis Ngannou. dos Santos tested positive to a banned diuretic and the fight was cancelled, with Ngannou set to take on Alistair Overeem later this year. One fight that was rescheduled for this event and actually took place was Amanda Nunes vs. Valentina Shevchenko for the Woman's Bantamweight title. Nunes saw off the challenger in an incredibly close, enjoyable match by split decision. Other matches included a revitalised Henry Cejudo seeing off Wilson Reis in a little over a round by TKO, and Rafael dos Anjos continuing his winning ways at Welterweight with an arm-triangle choke victory over perennial contender Neil Magny.

The 16th of September brought us back to Pennsylvania, with UFC Fight Night: Rockhold vs. Branch. The main event saw Luke Rockhold getting back into the winning ledger with a 2nd-round win over David Branch. Rockhold was briefly swarmed earlier in the first round, and many observers considered that if was against someone with a real striking discipline he would have been less lucky. Earlier on the main card, Gregor Gillespie submitted Jason Gonzalez by arm-triangle choke in the second, with the entire fight up to that point being a must-see. On the undercard, another excellent performance saw Uriah Hall take a serious 10-8 beating from Krzysztof Jotko in the first, surviving vicious ground and pound and a solid rear-naked choke attempt, and come back in the second to knock Jotko out with a savage right cross.

Rounding out the month, we headed to the Saitama Super Arena in Japan for UFC Fight Night: Saint Preux vs. Okami on the 23rd. The main event was originally slated for Ovince Saint Preux to take on Maurício Rua, but when the former injured his knee in training, Yushin Okami stepped up on a week's notice. The result of that fight was essentially set in stone at that point, with a large Light Heavyweight taking on a man who had his best success at Welterweight. OSP took the Von Flue choke victory at 1:50 of the first round, with this match having the dubious distinction of being the only main event in UFC history to feature zero combined significant strike attempts. The co-main was an absolute mauling with Jéssica Andrade beating the tar out of Cláudia Gadelha in a surprisingly one-sided affair - one judge went so far to score the match 30-25 (10-9, 10-8, 10-8). This event also saw the UFC debut of much-lauded kickboxer Gokhan Saki, with the Turk taking out Henrique de Silva in under a round with a vicious left hook.

UFC events in October

This month brings us three events, with the only Pay-Per-View kicking us off on the 7th.

UFC 216 finally features some action in the Lightweight title picture. Tony Ferguson is riding a nine-fight win streak and an excellent level of trash-talking to his rightful place in any 155-pound title match. Kevin Lee is on a five-win streak, and is looking to capitalise on his own trash-talking and high-level choke game to garner UFC gold. The main prize in this match, of course, is the Conor McGregor Lottery Ticket the winner might get to cash sometime in 2018 with a main event against the biggest MMA draw of all time. I say might because Mystic Mac might decide he's going to take on Rafael Nadal on a clay court on Showtime for $90 a pop next instead of coming back to the UFC. Only time will tell on that one. UFC 216 also brings us the rescheduled Flyweight championship match between Demetrious Johnson and Ray Borg. Time will tell again whether or not this match will go ahead. Fabricio Werdum is a pretty poo poo human being but decent at fighting, so it remains to be seen if Derrick Lewis is actually good or just mostly-less-bad than his recent opponents when the two Heavyweights meet. We can also expect Tom "Fire Kid" Duquesnoy to continue his winning, elbowing ways against Cody Stamman at Featherweight.

The 21st sees the UFC heading to Poland for UFC Fight Night: Cerrone vs. Till. Apart from the main event with Donald Cerrone taking on Darren Till, and Karolina Kowalkiewicz vs. Jodie "robbed on TUF" Esquibel, this is another card that is light on star power. Artem Lobov is on it, I guess?

A Brazilian card on the 28th rounds out the month, with UFC Fight Night: Machida vs. Brunson coming to us from São Paulo. Lyoto Machida hasn't fought in over two years, and should probably retire, but for a tune-up fight Derek Brunson probably isn't too bad. Demian Maia comes off his tepid decision loss to Tyron Woodley to take on tepid human being Colby Covington at Welterweight in the co-main.

UFC News

September saw us continue to deal with the fallout of Mr. Jones' Wild Ride. The 13th of the month saw the B-sample test positive for Turinabol as well, surprising no-one. The California State Athletic Commission overturned the result of the July 29th fight to a No Contest, and as the result the UFC stripped Jones of the Light Heavyweight title and return it to Daniel Cormier. Jones' hearing date has yet to be set, and anything you've read about his penalty is pure speculation at this point.

As a personal aside, I was quoted in many places as saying I thought that Jones would never fight in the UFC again after he was pulled from UFC 200. I will happily admit I was wrong about that, because fighting again and then testing positive to Soviet-Era East German Swim Team steroids is the infinitely more entertaining scenario.

Jesse "JT Money" Taylor was also hit with a USADA violation because in addition to being the best MMA timeline this one is also the worst.

Matt Brown announced that his fight againt Diego Sanchez on the 1st of November would be his retirement fight. After being brutalised by Jake Ellenberger and Donald Cerrone in his last two fights, that seems to make a ton of sense.

The Ultimate Fighter: A New World Champion continues apace, with 16 veterans competing for the new UFC Womens' Flyweight championship. In the early running, Roxanne Modaferri has emerged as a decent favourite to take the tournament. Five of the eight first-round matches have been decided at this stage, with the final scheduled for December 1st.

Fabricio Werdum continues to be a poo poo-tier human being, with homophobic slurs coming out of his mouth at the drop of a hat and then non-apologies after being called for it. I personally don't think The Black Beast (confirmed excellent person after his work in the recent Houston flooding disaster) will win that fight but I sure hope he does.

Your Current ChampionsMen's Heavyweight Champion - Stipe Miocic (19-2)
Stipe Miocic won the Heavyweight title in May of 2016, stopping Fabricio Verdum in front of his countrymen in a single round. He backed this feat up with another first-round stoppage of the most decorated Heavyweight of all time, Alistair Overeem, in Miocic's home town of Cleveland in September. It was considered that the winner of the fight between Werdum and Cain Velasquez at UFC 207, a rematch of the fight where Werdum took Velasquez' belt from him in 2015, would be Miocic's next opponent, but Velasquez was forced out of this bout with yet another leg injury. Miocic defended his title in May 2017, with yet another first round KO of his opponent, making Junior dos Santos his second scalp as champion and equalling the all-time title defenses record. No current opponent is announced, with Miocic hung up in contract negotiations with the UFC, but a superfight with Jon Jones was being discussed before the latter tested positive for retardistry.

Men's Light Heavyweight Champion - Daniel Cormier (19-1-1)
Daniel Cormier won the belt initially in May of 2015 against the heavy-hitting Anthony Johnson by rear-naked choke in the third round. Cormier defended his belt against Alexander Gustaffson in October of 2015 in a split decision. A planned rematch against Jon Jones was scheduled for UFC 200, which was called off after Jones tested positive for banned substances. Cormier went on to fight Anderson Silva in a non-title bout on three days' notice. Cormier was slated to fight Anthony Johnson in a rematch for the belt in December, a match which did not took place due to Cormier suffering a groin adductor injury. The bout took place at UFC 210 in April, with Cormier defending the belt in under two rounds and Johnson riding off into the sunset with a surprise retirement. The rematch against Jon Jones finally took place at UFC 215 and Jones managed to keep his poo poo together for a grand total of 24 days. Then he tested positive for steroids and had the fight result overturned and the title stripped, and it is now back around the waist of Cool MMA Dad Daniel Cormier.

Men's Middleweight Champion - Michael Bisping (37-7)
Bisping had a fairytale year in 2016, first of all beating the greatest MMA striker of all time Anderson Silva in front of his hometown crowd of Manchester in February. Then, on 17 days notice, he stepped up to fight Luke Rockhold for the Middleweight Championship in June at UFC 199. Bisping joked about not having the regular time to get his cardio ready, meaning he would have to knock Rockhold out in the first round. Against the expectations of everyone everwhere, including his own son, he did exactly that. He capped off his year with a successful defense against Dan Henderson, putting the ghosts of UFC 100 to rest. A defense against Yoel Romero was initially slated, which was then changed to a match against a returning George St. Pierre, with both bouts put on hold due to Bisping suffering a knee injury in May. The GSP fight is currently booked for UFC 217 in New York in November.

Men's Interim Middleweight Champion - Robert Whittaker (19-4)
Whittaker rode a seven-fight winning streak, including shutting down the deadly takedowns of Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza to slot himself into an Interim Middleweight championship match against Yoel "Soldier of God" Romero. The canny Australian showed incredible heart in taking it to the Cuban Olympic silver medalist over five rounds, and even with a severe knee injury coming in the first he managed to outpoint his opponent to take the unanimous decision. Logic dictates that Whittaker face Michael Bisping for the undisputed championship next, but with George St. Pierre coming back for that match, and Whittaker needing several months off with his injured knee, his future is cloudy at this stage.

Men's Welterweight Champion - Tyron Woodley (17-3-1)
Woodley was promised a title shot against the Welterweight champion 17 months before the fight took place. After Robbie Lawler put in Fight Of The Year performances against Rory MacDonald in July 2015 and Carlos Condit in January 2016, Woodley went into their fight in July of 2016 as a significant underdog. This meant nothing, with Lawler going down to strikes in the first round. Woodley defended his belt against Stephen "Wonderboy" Thompson, putting on an incredible fight that ended in a majority draw at UFC 205 in New York in November 2016. A rematch for this fight was held in March month at UFC 209, with Woodley again the winner in a stilted affair. He defended the title again at UFC 214 in late July 2017 against Demian Maia, following a conservative but sharp gameplan that saw him stop all 22 of the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu ace's takedown attempts. No future contender is announced at this stage.

Men's Lightweight Champion - Conor McGregor (0-1)
McGregor (right) is seen here doing what he does best - making a fuckton of money. Who knows if or when he'll actually defend a belt in the UFC. Any belt. His loving trouser belt.

Men's Featherweight Champion - Max Holloway (18-3)
Holloway put together a 9-fight win streak, with several Performance of the Night bonuses, before answering the call to contend for the Interim Featherweight Championship at UFC 206 in December 2016. Taking out Anthony Pettis with a body kick and punches late in the third round, he has set himself up for a unification bout against Jose Aldo at UFC 212. At that event in early June 2017, he defeated Aldo in the third round with focused ground and pound, and unified the belts. No opponent is currently announced but there have been rumours that Frankie Edgar will have his chance next.

Men's Bantamweight Champion - Cody Garbrandt (11-0)
After amassing a professional record of 5-0 in the minor leagues, Garbrandt was able to parley this into a UFC contract in January 2015. He then went on to win 5 fights in a row in the UFC, including going from unranked at Bantamweight at the start of 2016 into championship contention at the end. He took on Dominick Cruz for the title at UFC 207 in late December, and in contrast to analysis from a variety of sources, took out Cruz in a unanimous decision. Garbrandt was scheduled to take on TJ Dillashaw at UFC 213 in July, to cap off the current season of The Ultimate Fighter, which has now been cancelled due to a back injury sustained by the champion. That fight is currently slated for UFC 217 in November.

Men's Flyweight Champion - Demetrious Johnson (26-2-1)
After winning the Flyweight Championship in September 2012 in a split decision against Joseph Benevidez, Johnson has amassed a 10-fight streak against the best that the division has had to offer. He has been so dominant that the UFC held an entire Ultimate Figher tournament to find his next challenger. The culmination of this was that Tim Elliott came back out of the MMA wilderness to lose a competitive match against Johnson in early December 2016. Johnson easily defended his title against Wilson Reis in April, tying the all-time title defense record held by Anderson Silva. His next was scheduled to take place at UFC 215, with Ray Borg the chosen recipient of a life-altering mauling, but Borg pulled out with an unspecified illness. This match has been re-scheduled for UFC 216 on the 7th of October.

Women's Featherweight Champion - Cristiana Justino (18–1 (1))
With the vacating of this championship by Germaine de Randamie in May 2017, a match was set up for UFC 214 between Justino and Megan Anderson. Anderson pulled out of the fight in late June, and was replaced by current Invicta FC Bantamweight Champion Tonya Evinger. The significantly larger figher on the day, Justino dominated a one-sided affair and won the fight in the third round with brutal knee strikes.

Women's Bantamweight Champion - Amanda Nunes (14-4)
Nunes headlined UFC 200 in July of 2016, putting a vicious beating on Miesha Tate and securing a rear-nake choke victory in a little over three minutes. She backed this up with a brutal 48-second TKO victory against former Women's Bantamweight Champion and WMMA pioneer Rounda Rousey in late December 2016. Nunes was slated to take on Valentina Shevchenko in a rematch of their March 2016 fight, with that match being moved to UFC 215 last month. Nunes retained by a razor-thin split decision, and no future contender is announced at this stage.

Women's Strawweight Champion - Joanna Jędrzejczyk (13-0)
After winning the Women's Strawweight Championship against the one-dimensional Carla Esparza in March 2015, Jędrzejczyk has defended her title five times. Most recent of these was against Jessica Andrade at UFC 211 in May 2016. She is scheduled to defend the belt at UFC 217 in November against Rose Namajunas.

Other poo poo

Thanks very much to LobsterMobster for putting together the awards thread for last year:

Bundt Cake needs to defend his assertion that LHW was once good and that 205 nostalgia is not just the product of once having an entertaining champion plus a handful of "name" guys who got famous knocking out tiny Japanese pro wrestlers

Cormier rules, he just has the unfortunate luck of having a career rival who is arguably one of the best ever. Also the fortunate luck of that career rival being an unparalleled gently caress-up who is incapable of going a month without ruining his own life.

Cormier rules, he just has the unfortunate luck of having a career rival who is arguably one of the best ever. Also the fortunate luck of that career rival being an unparalleled gently caress-up who is incapable of going a month without ruining his own life.

Bundt Cake needs to defend his assertion that LHW was once good and that 205 nostalgia is not just the product of once having an entertaining champion plus a handful of "name" guys who got famous knocking out tiny Japanese pro wrestlers

205 was once 'the marquee division'

Just because it kind of sucks now that Jones is dead and Cormier is 50 years old doesn't mean it was always poo poo. Machida vs Shogun dude!

just as the ufc is embarrassed of werdum's usage of the word, but not embarrassed enough to stop employing him, we all know that word is illegal and yet here we are supporting a sport with such backwards representatives! crazy! but hey let's just make a song and dance about the bad word, especially because of the, uh, zero people here that approved of its usage in it's actual context.

I think it's fine, personally - there's obviously no negative connotation intended and it connects to the upcoming PPV since two of the guys on that card got into a verbal altercation. I doubt anybody has an actual problem with it and if they do they can report it or PM me about it and we can talk about it there rather than in this thread, which should be about more important things like what kind of trash Dana White is gonna throw at Demetrious Johnson during his walk-in.

The Conor and Cyborg division championships have a long and storied history and I can't believe anyone would besmirch the reputation of the UFC's Conor McGregor or Cristiane "Cyborg" Justino divisions.

It's actually insulting that they've decided to change the Bisping division back into the Middleweight division to let GSP have a fight.

Bundt Cake needs to defend his assertion that LHW was once good and that 205 nostalgia is not just the product of once having an entertaining champion plus a handful of "name" guys who got famous knocking out tiny Japanese pro wrestlers

my first point would be that the guys from the last couple generations never got beat out of the division they just got old and their bodies broke. no new wave of fighters beat them until they washed out. only cormier, jones, and gustaffson seemed to separate themselves as having that talent level. cormiers just as old tho haha