Posts Tagged ‘insults’

I've really enjoyed having all my favorite music from the CD's we own now on my new iPod. One of the features I haven't taken advantage of yet is to download the artwork from the covers from iTunes.

The CD covers got me thinking about an e-mail I received recently that had some of the most ghastly LP album covers. Below are two dozen of what I think have to be among the worst album covers ever made! (Actually there are many that are even worse, but I would not include them on my blog.) Of course, by virtue of the fact that these are album jackets for LP records, that already dates them - you'll definitely note some looks of by-gone eras. Some of these people obviously didn't ask close friends or family if they should go with the picture they'd chosen.

I'm posting most of the album covers without comment. Some of the album jackets are immediately hilarious, but for others, you will have to look at carefully to see why they are just plain wrong! Some that I have included are not necessarily for the faint-hearted, though, so be forewarned! Scroll on at your own risk!

In the one below (I'll translate the German), this album by Heino is called "Dear Mother... a bouquet that never withers." Then in the little blue circle, it says, "A gift for the whole year"

quotation...

"You are stuck on stupid. I'm not going to answer that question." - Lt. General Russel Honore, U.S. Army

I was going through some email that had accumulated in my inbox and ran across a joke that just cracked me up. I decided to make it today's blog post.

As a woman was walking down the street to work, she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

Well, the woman was really ticked at that! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home that afternoon, she saw the same parrot and it said to her again, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

She was now incredibly angry. And the next day the parrot yet again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The woman was so furious that she stomped into the store and said that she wanted to sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say that to her again.

When the woman walked past the store that day after work, the parrot called out to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said,"Yes?"

The bird said, "You know."

Fox has a program called "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" The questions some people miss are amazing! Yesterday a friend forwarded a link to an online quiz with some questions to test yourself. Three people in our house took the quiz yesterday, our scores ranged from 94% to 73%. To try it yourself and possibly have your intelligence insulted, click here.

For those who like to know what we've been up to.... We are back in Greenville again after a very enjoyable week with Jim, Megan, and Drew. It was a nice combination of activity and relaxation, and it was especially nice to be able to watch and hold our grandson Drew daily. He had a good check up on Friday and he was only a little the worse for the various vaccinations. Becka got to see all our children and our grandchild on Mother's Day, and I even got to see my mom for a couple of minutes when we dropped by to see her on our way through Ohio.

Our drive back was almost blissful compared to our drive up the previous weekend. I was reminded, though, of several likes and dislikes of car travel - I love the nice stretches of road that lie between road construction sites, I hate little cement walls right beside my car door with a semi right beside the passenger door, I love left lanes where semis are not allowed to roll, and I have a hard time loving lawless drivers.

We are really enjoying our new laptop computer and fast internet. We finally opted for DSL since Mainstreet Wimax wouldn't work from our house. Thanks to all who wrote with suggestions and advice when we were making our decision about a new ISP.

quotation...

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill (who gave some classic insults)

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

the sig line is from another master of insults... "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

I wanted to post a really nice Easter story I'd received by email some time back, but when I did a web search, I found that I could use it only with special permission. I wrote the author for permission, but it has not yet come. If you'd like to read the story, you can do so at http://www.cresourcei.org/jegg.html where it is posted with the author's permission. My link to this site is not an endorsement of everything else on the site.

I ran across something in my files the other day that I thought some of you might enjoy - a Shakespearean Insult Kit. Use it if you need fresh ideas for when boorish rubes intrude upon your serenity?

Ye Olde Official Shakespearean Insult Kit
(I've seen this attributed several times to Jerry Maguire, English teacher at Center Grove High School in Greenwood, Indiana.)

With this handy-dandy Shakespearean Insult Kit, you can have the spleen of The Bard at your disposal, with all his lexicographical command of vituperation.

To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with "Thou." To enjoy this fully, you really should try to say the Shakespearean insults out loud.

All's well here. *Lots* going on at this time! I've been in a "grading vortex" this week with many compositions and tests to grade. (Who makes these assignment sheets anyway?!) Yesterday we attended this year's Living Gallery with several neighbors who really enjoyed it. Tomorrow morning is our monthly Men for Missions breakfast at church. After that we have choir practice till noon for Sunday. Sunday we're having two identical services for Easter at our church, with lots of special music. Monday Becka and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary.

Our grandson is 4 weeks old today and is doing fine. Megan is feeling much better and would be feeling even better if she got a full night's sleep! 🙂 The other day I posted several new pictures of him (see the blog entry under this one). When I posted those, Becka wanted me to put out several pictures of our flowers out front. The pictures don't do them justice. They're really beautiful.

quotation...

"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." - unknown

updates via RSS or Twitter

receive blog updates by e-mail

here's how:

Leave this field empty if you're human:

a little about me…

My name is Rob Loach and I welcome you to my blog. People come here for an "instant vacation." You can learn more about me and about my instant vacations, including why my blog is called "ivman's blague," by visiting the about page, where you can watch my TV interview about my blog. My site is thirteen years old, so check out the tabs at the top of this page, subjects of interest to you in the tag cloud (below), and older blog posts (about 750 of them) not on the home page of the blog. Though I am posting less often than at first, there's still lots of archived humor here for you to enjoy!

a need you may not be aware of

check out Nora’s amazing cookies

a great read

order this new book!

radical rescue work

Watch these DVD's and never be the same!

good, inexpensive cell phone service

We have enjoyed cheaper cell phone usage for almost 4 years now. I'm a Republic Wireless member and I absolutely love it. Join using my link (click on the picture below) and get $20 off your first bill.

links you might enjoy

networks I’m in

I post a lot of funny images to my blog. Most of them are sent to me by my readers. If the images come with copyright information, I leave that intact, of course. Otherwise I post them in good faith that they are copyright free. I invite any copyright owner to contact me if I have unwittingly infringed by posting the images as they have come to me.