things my mother taught me: wear a hat

I have always hated wearing hats. Never ever liked ’em. They always leave an itchy red line around my forehead, and I just plain hate how they feel.My mom always insisted it was vanity that produced my reluctance to don headgear. This is partly true- I am not one of those girls who looks cute with a hat on. Hats and me, well, we just don’t go together. I shove them in dusty corners of my closet where other rejected objects that I own reside. However, every winter morning when I head out I hear my mothers voice in my ear insisting that I put on a hat before I die of a cold. A voice to which I reply “Maaaa” (in my best Fran Fine voice) “I don’t need a hat”.

Unfortunately I have been forced to make piece with my headwear nemisis. Apparently leaving your head exposed in winter weather can be pretty stupid- which I learned when I came down with bronchitis last year. So mom was right. There is only one thing left for me to do since I’ve lost the battle of the hat- nurse my wounds by buying cute ones and hope that I’ll look decent in one of them. With options like baseball hats, hats that look like animals (which look irresistibly cute and stupid all at the same time), hat’s with furry flaps for your ears, hats with giant pom poms, small pom poms, crocheted mohawks, and artsy slouched knit berets I’m sure to find something . Moral of the story: wear a hat. It’s smart. And listen to your mom.