(I have just returned to work after being very sick for about a week and a half. I’d lost my voice and was unable to work for many days. A regular who favors me, an older man with a thick, possibly Spanish-influenced accent, comes to my line.)

Customer: “Where were you?”

Me: “I’m sorry? When?”

Customer: “For two weeks, I no see you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, I was very sick.”

Customer: *gasps* “Me too!”

(We have a conversion, to the best of our ability to understand each other, about being sick, while I ring his items through and refill his cart. He pays, as always, with a $100 bill.)