“On the news, a family dies…” That is an actual quote from my then 7-year-old son during a vacation in Arizona. It’s one of my favorite quotes from my family’s vacation quote book. Yep, we actually collect random and ridiculous vacation quotes taken completely out of context, just because we say so many dumb things while traveling together. Reading through them helps us remember fun times and makes us laugh at ourselves.

Here’s the story of “On the news, a family dies…”

Two years ago we took our whole family (9 of us all together – 7 kids, 2 adults) to Bison Ranch, Arizona for vacation. One afternoon we drove to a nearby mountain to go on a hike to a beautiful vista that promised us an amazing view. It was hot but overcast, which was nice so the temps would stay down. We parked in a lot and set off on the paved hiking trail, ready for fun and adventure. As we hiked, the sky darkened, but we were determined to get to the vista, and pressed on. The sky got even darker and soon we felt the rumble of thunder and saw some distant flashes of lightning.

We were almost there. Go forward? Head back? What to do? As we were standing there trying to decide, a bolt of lightning struck the ground right in front of us, and to say we were scared would be a slight understatement. We decided the fastest way to get back to the saftey of our rubber tired car, was to send my husband and 17-year old back for the car (the trail was right next to the road) and the rest of us would try to find a low lying ditch to take cover in until the cavalry arrived.

Those of us left behind to cower in the dirt, tried to keep ourselves distracted by taking turns telling funny jokes and stories. Finally, it’s my 7-year-old son’s turn. He gets a serious look, and in his deepest newscaster voice says,

“On the news, a family dies…”

He caught us completely off guard and for about 2 seconds we were shocked, but then we all burst into laughter and it was the best distraction of them all.

At the risk of making my family sound like a bunch of complete idiots, here are a few of my fav vacation quotes:

If those were my kids, I’d drop them off at jail.

Native American? You mean black?

You know how some people smell like horse poop? They were those.

Mom, please help me not to spend money! I don’t care if I cry!

We just got punked by Disneyland. Where’s Ashton?

I smelled that on the internet.

My life is a workout. I do crunches while I walk.

It kind of smells like a book…or a fart…I’m not sure which.

I talk so fast that I say what I’m gonna say before I say it.

What’s Disneyland’s policy on public urination?

Do ribs have bones?

I have cheeto ashes up my nose.

Mom, can you shut your crack-heads up cause if they turn the speakers up any louder the crap’s gonna blow.

Let’s play the Chinese name game…I’ll be Pablo.

Living with my family is like living with a pack of wolves.

Arizona makes me fart.

This is an emergency…I’m growing a mullet.

Mother! Don’t use appropriate language in this car!

Ever since I got these moccasins, I’m a sex symbol.

Smell my underwear. They’re delicious.

Hope you enjoyed these ridiculous quotes. Maybe you’ll be inspired to start your own family quote book.

~Kate is currently on vacation hopefully adding more memories and quotes to the book.

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

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My family likes to use movie quotes.
Badges, badges we don’t need no stinkin badges (we need our id’s when we are attending conventions.
Fly casual, when we are speeding to get home.
According to the map we’ve only gone 4 inches.
Houston, we have a problem.
My darling girl, when are you going to understand that “normal” is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.