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January 10, 2012

Again today, some worries pierced my heart. I suddenly realized that I was acting as if it were all up to me. Planning and worrying and crying and ready to take on the world and solve what needs solving with sheer determination….I seemed to forget the one little detail that He’s already got the whole world in His hands. And He worketh all things for our good. And He loves me more than I love my own babies. Chillax, Sarah. He’s all over it.

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November 24, 2010

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

I Thessalonians 5:18

Each day, I check this blog for comments. And I wonder:

Does anyone care?

Do they understand?

Are you listening?

And there is a comment. Some brave, loving person who has chosen to say:

I am with you.

I care about you.

You are not alone.

And it means so much. So very, very much.

To my knowledge, only one of you has ever experienced infertility.

But we’ve all experienced pain.

We all know Christ.

And we all love.

I’ve tried to imagine how you feel, reading these thoughts, this pounding out of hurts on a keyboard. I’ve worried that I’ll put a dent in the happiness of your lives. But I guess that’s part of friendship.

I’ve wondered how you feel, commenting, responding to what I’ve expressed. I know that I always feel awkward, inadequate, and tongue-tied when I’m confronted with someone who’s hurting. As if nothing I can say would matter, or I might make things worse! Now that I’ve been on the other side of things, I don’t worry so much.

Each time you respond,

It helps.

It heals.

It dispels the myth that I’m alone in this battle.

And so, I am thankful. Thankful for friends who take the risk of loving me enough. Friends who care enough to be involved, even when it isn’t pleasant. Friends with busy lives, who stop to read, and send along a prayer, a song, an encouragement, your love.

I’m thankful for a good marriage to a wonderful spouse, that has been strengthened when it could have been torn apart.

I’m thankful for the blessing of children in my life, and their love and affection. Thank you, Krista & Lisa, for sharing them with me.

I’m thankful for a God who has my best in His heart…and walks beside me through my pain.