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14 April 2012

#HAWMC post #14

My Dream Day

My dream day.... I think my dream day would depend on how I feel! If I am not feeling well, even the day to day things of life are not the easiest things for me to do. In fact, I make choices all the time on what I can and cannot do in order to not spend all of the next few days in bed. Someone might in fact think my dream day would be to have a day without pain. But, that is not something I would be likely to choose. Why?

I do realize that it sounds completely crazy to say, "I'd NOT choose a day without pain as a dream day."! But, you have to think of it this way, what happens when the dream day is over? The pain all comes rushing back. And that's not a fun feeling! It's one thing to have lower pain levels, but to go from a moderate pain level, to no pain and then back to a moderate pain level all in 3 days, would be hard mentally. It wouldn't be impossible, but it would mess with your mind quite a bit. Even a gradual escalation of pain will mess with a person so a sudden one is VERY hard and especially having a taste of being pain-free then going back to pain would be cruel in my opinion. That's based on having pain for most of my life. I do not remember what it is like to be pain free. The closest I've come to pain free in the last 10-15 years is the day I gave birth to my son. I'd been off of my medications for a few months and when the OB said "It's time that you need pain medication.", I was not going to argue. Do I know it would have been best to not have medication, of course. But, I had been on medication for seven months of my pregnancy so I didn't honestly think that they'd hurt at that point. In fact, had she not went ahead and decided to give me the pain medication, I likely would have asked for it. When that medicine kicked in, it was a great feeling. I didn't feel high or anything like that, in fact, it let me be more focused than I had been. The other medications I was on in combination with the months of unrelieved pain, lack of proper sleep (also due to not being on my usual medications) and my concerns were making me feel a bit foggy. Once the pain medication kicked in, I felt a blessed lowering of my pain. That alone made it easier for me to concentrate. I had such a rough pregnancy pain-wise that being close to pain free the day I gave birth and in much less pain for about a month later was nice. But it also made the return to higher levels of pain much harder to handle.

So a dream day for me would be simple, yet it would be impossible as well, hence the reason it would be a dream day! I would just like to have all of my loved ones together in one place. I'd love to be able to cook for them and have us all sit down together to enjoy a meal and just hang out. Kinda like a family reunion, except well most of my loved ones are not actually related to me by blood. That makes them no less a part of my "family".

According to dictionary.com, "family" means, among other definitions:

a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together.

On the other hand, "relative" is defined as:

a person who is connected with another or others by blood or marriage.

In one way or another, I have something in common with each of the members of my family which is made up of those people who are my relatives and then those people who fit the above definitions of family. The latter group I call my "chosen family."

Getting my relatives and my chosen family together at one time would be a major feat. It would be a rather large group. If I've not missed anyone, I count 85 people. They range from 3 months to 78. It would not be easy to get 85 people to all be available at the same time. Finding a location would also not be an easy task. These 85 people live spread out in 9 states. Indiana would be the logical state to have this dream meeting in as over half of the people in my family live in Indiana. In fact, of those who live in Indiana, most live in Owen Co. or a neighboring county. So that would be the logical place to hold this dream meeting. And in Owen Co. I am not sure there is anywhere large enough to hold that many people and allow them to have a good time. We'd need things to amuse the kids. For that matter, we'd need things to amuse the adults as well! And it would take a lot of food to keep that group fed, But it would be fun to do. Having 34 kids and 51 adults would mean a bit of chaos. But I think it'd be fun too. I know in that group there are a number of 4 generation groupings. My Mom has a number. In my hubby's family are a few. And in Dad's family, there's one 4 generation group so far.

In all honesty, I have NO clue how to keep a group that large amused! Cards? Games? Movies? Hope there's a playground or pool nearby? I have no idea! With that many children, at least the older ones could be trusted to watch the younger ones, giving the parents a bit of a break! So there's another aspect that makes this a dream gathering...amusement of those who have gathered.

Food would be a HUGE undertaking! But one I wouldn't mind trying to coordinate. I think I can do it. I might be dead tired afterward but it'd probably be worth it, as long as I also got to hang out with all the adults and enjoy my time with them. But, it would be wonderful to have all of my loved ones around me to enjoy everyone's company!