Saturday, March 1, 2014

Ryan's 1st Birthday

March 1st, 2013

Dear Ryan,

You normally sleep until 6 or 7 each morning. But when you woke up today the clock said 5:08, 3 minutes until you would turn one. Normally I would let you fuss and fall back asleep on your own. But not today. Today I happily went into your room and picked you up out of your crib. I kissed your nose and smiled at you. You smiled back at me with your big, bright, beautiful smile. I held you in the rocker and ran my fingers through your hair while I nursed you. We sat in the dark, in the quiet, just you and me while the rest of the house slept. I looked down at you, my precious boy, remembering all we've gone through in the past year and how much joy you have brought our family. I felt my heart swell with love and sadness at the same time. I'm so happy and excited for this milestone; you have grown into such a happy, smart, curious, fearless boy! And yet I also felt so sad because my baby is no longer a baby.

There's no clock in your room so I don't know the exact moment it happened but I do know that at 5:11, the very same moment you officially turned one, I was holding you, my sweet boy, in my arms. Just like I held you one year ago in the hospital, with tears running down my face because you had finally arrived.

I held you tight the day you were born. I held you tight today. And I will hold you tight for as long as I live.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Follow by Email

About Me

On April 12, 2010 I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, Nathan. From that moment on, my life forever changed. On March 1, 2013, we welcomed Ryan into our family and just like that my heart doubled in size. Our family was complete on July 18, 2016 when Little Miss Morgan entered the world.
Being a mom is by far the hardest job I've ever had and for sure the most rewarding. I've laughed. I've cried. I've been peed, pooped and puked on. Here are a few of the highs and lows. It's all here - the good, the bad, and the unshowered, sleep deprived, covered in spit-up ugly! :)