Saturday, September 30, 2006

It's been a rough couple of days. Yesterday after I changed everything on my blog I started getting a headache. And it just got worse and worse until it was a full blown migraine by 6pm. I was sick to my stomach and couldn't look at anything too bright. And my mouth was killing me. We were in bed by 10pm and I woke up this morning feeling much better. My mouth is also feeling much better. Getting 7 shots (2 directly into the nerve) is no fun and it hurt like hell. My mouth feels like it's been through a war.

This morning we went to Weight Watchers for our first weigh in. I lost an amazing 4.8 pounds. I was so happy. I have never lost that much in one week. I needed the proof that what I was doing was right and it was working. I feel more determined to work harder at losing this weight. We have found that eating all your fruits and veggies and drinking all your water makes you not hungry. I used to drink 3-4 cokes a day and I am down to maybe one. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks I can cut that out completely. It does nothing for me and it rots my teeth.

If you notice at the top of my blog you will see my ticker that I have. I haven't mentioned anything about it because Laura has made me swear that I don't say anything until that day. BTW, the day when I can finally make this HUGE announcement is Thanksgiving Day. Be sure to stay tuned for this announcement. It will change everything about our lives as we know it. Thursday night Laura and I stayed up til 2am talking about what we are planning. It was one of the most intense, satisfying conversations I have ever had.

This morning we put out our Halloween decorations. The weather is kind of crazy this week. It was bitterly cold Thursday and Friday and today and tomorrow the temps will be in the high 80's. Didn't really feel like Halloween with it being so warm outside. I am hoping for a cold front to move on through. As I have mentioned before, I am so done with summer.

As we were putting out the Halloween decorations a car pulled up. Two older men in suits got out. I knew instantly they were JW's. They walked over to me explaining who they were. I told them I knew who they were and they asked if some lady had come here and talked with a few weeks back. I said yes and they explained how they liked to call on all disfellowshipped people once a year. I thought it was funny since I have been disfellowshipped for 2+ years and no one has called on me before now. They asked if anyone knew where I lived. WTF. I told them I was happy with what I was doing now and that I would see them next September. They walked away, feeling like they had failed I am sure.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend and I am so glad everyone seems to have made this move easily. I can't tell you how great it feels to be here.

Friday, September 29, 2006

As many of you know I have officially changed my URL address. And I tell you it feels wonderful. Please leave me a note to let me know you have arrived here safely. I am not sure what I would do without all your wonderful comments.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I heard the best news today while in the dentist chair. Upon looking at the two teeth the dentist concluded that I only had to have one root canal, not two. I have never been so happy. She said the other tooth can just have a filling. Praise the Lord. Not only did I not have to go through another root canal, but it saved us a huge chunk of change. I was so happy I could barely sit still.

Now this root canal they did today was not completely smooth. They gave me 5 shots to numb me up and started working. I instantly felt more pain. Never a good sign. Then they gave me 2 more shots directly into the tooth. It felt like an electrical shot going through my entire body. Once that kicked in I felt nothing. But my entire mouth and right side of my face up to my ear was numb. Having your tongue completely numb is the weirdest feeling I have ever had.

All the numbing affect has worn off and my mouth is so freaking sore. I don't think it was so much the root canal, but the 7 shots I got. I have already taken one pain pill and I plan on taking one more before bedtime to make sure there is no pain that wakes me up in the middle of the night. I know I am going to be so sore tomorrow. Thank goodness I have planned on taking the day off.

I am 99% sure that address is free so if you click on my old address tomorrow and it's not there, assume I have changed it. If carolineinthecity is not free then I will change it to something similar, but will let you know.

I have thought about what I can write here to show how much I am going to miss Lynilu, but I don't think I can put it into words. Here are some funny memories of the times we've spent together and why I treasure her friendship so much:

*Because of her I became addicted to dominoes. I had never played before Lynilu and her late husband showed me. We would spend hours playing that game. I remember sitting by the phone one evening hoping they would call. When they did you would have thought I had won the lottery.

*All the meals we've shared. Whether it was going out to eat (which we did a lot), or sharing a meal in each others home we always had a good time. When I was getting my masters I ate over at their house a lot. I think that was their way in helping me get through graduate school. And it really did help me.

*She was always a helpful neighbor: looking in on the cats while we were gone, keeping an extra good eye on the house when we were not there, feeding the strays for us, taking in our paper, and the list goes on and on...

*She was there for me when I was trying to figure out who I was whether that was gay or straight or a Jehovah's Witness or a proud EX-JW.

*When I secretly bought a x-mas tree 4 years ago she also secretly bought me some ornament's to go on this tree.

*She is always honest with me even when I don't want to hear the truth.

*She sat and listened to me for months and months when I was seriously depressed and felt I had nothing to live for. She reminded me that there was a lot for me to live for. And bless her heart if I didn't test her on that and made her list the things I had to live for.

*She put up with all the people I brought home during the transition period after my ex and I split up. She teases me now that she never knew if I would bring home a guy or a girl. Boy was I confused.

*She always remembers my birthday

*She always brings treats to Sophie-dog and loves her just about as much as I love her.

*She has always been on my side whether it was going through the divorce or the problems with my parents.

This is just a few of the memories. It's been a wild 8 1/2 years with Lynilu as my neighbor. Our friendship has survived depression, graduate school, divorce, death, changing of careers.

Thank you for all the love, support and friendship the past 8 1/2 years. You will be missed in so many ways in Kansas City. Don't forget about us and we hope you come back to visit often. Drive safely to your new destination and remember to always follow your heart.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Today I had a social work conference to attend. I wasn't that excited about it because it was 30 minutes from my house and it started at 8am, an hour earlier then I usually start. I am glad that I went to this conference. It was probably one of the best. All except this one part. The guy had a PowerPoint presentation and for one hour just read what was up there. We also had the handouts right in front of us, so I learned nothing during this time. Other then that I really enjoyed it. I was a little worried because it was at a local hotel and lunch was included. Being on weight watchers I didn't know what they were going to be serving and how many points I would need. Turned out just fine. They did have a huge piece of cheesecake for desert and I just took a few bites. Boy was it yummy.

While I was there Laura was home doing laundry(I usually do the laundry), cleaning the kitchen and preparing dinner. God I love this woman. I came home to clean clothes, a clean house and a wonderful dinner. She told me that she called the Better Business Bureau to see if there had been a decision. The lady said that she couldn't give us the decision, but it was in our favor. We had asked for a refund of $750. We are hoping that we got the full amount. That would pay for my dental work tomorrow without having to go into savings.

Tomorrow afternoon at 2:45 I will be having my two root canals done. I am not looking forward to the procedure or the pain afterwards. But I am looking forward to having Friday off. It's amazing the things I will do for a day off. Keep me in your prayers that everything goes smooth and they don't find any other major damage.

Tomorrow will also be a very bittersweet day for me with Lynilu leaving Friday morning. I am beyond sad to see her leave, but am so happy that she is fulfilling one of her dreams. We will go over tomorrow to say our "so longs" to her.

So overall, I don't think tomorrow will be that great of a day. Having two root canals and seeing a treasured neighbor and friend move is almost too much for one day.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Here are the rules of the tag:List 5 weird things about yourself or your pets. Tag 5 friends and list them. Those people need to write on their blogs about 5 weird things, and state the rules, and tag 5 more people. Don’t forget to let the people you tag know by posting a comment on their blog!

1) I love really weird music. Anything from the 80's, all those one hit wonders, Barry Manilow (yes, I am a Fanilow) and of course Captain and Tanelle. One of "our" songs is "Love Will Keep Us Together". You all know it, and you all secretly love it as well. I am just brave enough to say it. My unique love of music has caused many disagreements in our household. Driving just across town can cause many headaches. I am not sure if we would survive a road trip together.

2) I remember all of my dreams. I will wake up with complete memories of my dreams. Even the small details. For example: I remember a dream I had a few weeks ago where I bought something and I paid $5. 64 for it. Who remembers stuff like that?? Me. When I wake up and tell Laura some of my dreams she thinks I am crazy. Then again, I at times think I am kind of crazy.

3) I talk in my sleep. I will have full blown conversations with myself during the night. It took Laura a while to get used to this. I think I scared her a couple of times in the beginning. Now she knows I just do that sometimes. And whenever something wakes me up in the middle of the night (like Laura going to the bathroom) I get startled and will say the oddest things. We had been together for just a few months when she got up to go to the bathroom and I sat up and said, "what the fuck are you doing Jill?" Laura's first response was "who the hell is Jill?" I tried to explain that I had a cousin named Jill and I had been dreaming about her. She still doubts that I really have a cousin named Jill.

4) I have a mild case of OCD. When I get focused on something it's hard for me to relax until that thing is done. It can be dusting, vacuming, mowing the lawn or just about anything. I become obessed with certain things. For example: I am obessed about our lawn. (just ask Lynilu) I am also obessed about shutting down the house at night. Making sure all the doors are locked, the lights are off and I don't smell smoke. (I am scared to death of fire)

5) I strongly believe in marriage. Laura and I disagree about this a lot. We have different views on it for different reasons. Marriage is what you make it. If you don't work at it or course it's going to fail. I also believe in having the same last name. One day I want to take Laura's last name. Not only do I love her last name, but I feel that us having the same last name makes us a family. I have no connection to my current last name since everyone in my family has disowned me. Taking her last name will make me feel like I am officially part of the family. Plus it makes things a little easier legally.

Now I need to tag 5 people. Here is my list of 5 people: Kitty, Amy, Sassyfemme, Sandra and Kim. But of course I would love to read anyone's list if you decided to do this.

An update on the changing of the URL address: I think I decided to change my address to carolineinthecity.blogspot.com. I will remind you later this week, but look at me changing it Friday or Saturday. It feels so refreshing to change it. Thank you all for your comments on how great an idea it is.

Just an FYI: I have a conference to attend tomorrow so I will be out of bloggerland all day. I of course will check all blogs tomorrow when I get home and of course after I mow the lawn.

Changing your habits is hard. I have realized the past two days that I snacked a lot at work. A lot. I find that when I am bored I tend to eat. Yesterday was hard. By 10:30am my first appointment had not showed up (big shock) and I was realizing that I had nothing to do for rest of the day. The phones weren't ringing so there were no phone calls to take. You can only surf the net so long before you before bored. It took a lot of inner strength not to go get something to munch on.

I've been thinking about my eating habits and how I got to this point in my life that the way I've been eating is really affecting my health in a negative way. One of my very first memories is when I cracked my chin open. I was about 3 and was at my cousins house. I remember being held in the garage after I cracked my chin open and someone offering me a Popsicle to console me. Is this where it all started? Is this when I realized that food can be comforting? If I could go back to that moment and remember my parents consoling me with hugs and kisses instead of food I would.

I have been thinking about all the changes that I am doing in my life and I am thinking about changing the address for my blog. About six months ago I changed the title of my blog from "Ex-Jehovah's Witness and Gay" to "After the Fact". I am now thinking of changing my address completely because I am tired of being associated as an ex-JW. It's time to move on. I have thought of a few address and one is carolineinthecity.blogspot.com What do you think?? I am Caroline and I live in Kansas CITY. I am open to any ideas for a new address. Let me know what your ideas are or if you like Caroline in the City.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Day 3 of our new lifestyle has gone very well. In fact we are both finding that we are already feeling better. We have more energy and more importantly we don't feel guilty when we sit down for a meal. I am a huge planner and I love planning my meals. I used to hate going to work not knowing what I was going to do for lunch. Now it's all settled the night before what I am going to be doing for lunch. Makes life a little easier. I know you all are probably tired of seeing pictures of our "babies" and really I don't know if they deserve this much attention given all the headaches they have given us the past three weeks. But I couldn't resist the following pictures of the two Sophie's.

As you can see Sophie-dog had a very exhausting day keeping track of where all the cats were at every single moment during the day. Sophie lives a very glamorous life and it's just so tiring being a princess. (FYI: the meaning of the name Sophie is "princess".)

There's a story behind this picture. Laura has a blanket that she keeps downstairs for the winter and the summer (she says the house is always cold). I never get to use this blanket. Well, it's been off limits for me ever since I burned a hole in it from smoking. Oops. So when I was at Wal-Mart last week I noticed this nice, soft blanket that was on sale. I brought it home and Sophie-cat now thinks it's hers. Damn, I never get anything. For so long we didn't think Sophie-cat could jump on the couch since she is"mildly" overweight. I came down in the middle of the night on Friday and there she was laying on the couch. She has been playing us for months now making us think she couldn't jump on the couch. Anyway, she has decided that this blanket is now hers. Laura has informed me nicely that what Sophie-cat wants, Sophie-cat gets. I think it's a little unfair, but it seems I am outnumbered in this case.

An update on the sick kitties. We have gone 24 whole hours without seeing any pee or puke. Yea, we might actually be done with this crap. The cats are happy because it doesn't look like anyone will be auctioned off.

Last night Laura and I were laying in bed attempting to get into the mood. Bonk, who is our oldest cat, came up on the bed and put her front paws on Laura and just stood there. Apparently she felt she needed a front row seat to what was going on. We pushed her down and then she came back to see what was going on. At one point she (Bonk) said to us, "do you smell something burning?" We were laughing so hard it kind of ruined the moment. Thanks Bonk.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I love our animals. They bring such personality to our life. The cats do their own thing and you never know what they are thinking. Sophie-dog is one of the sweetest dogs I know. She loves you unconditionally and is always happy to see you, even if you have only been gone for five minutes.

But this morning I am feeling a little something different about our beloved animals. For three weeks now we have had three cats get sick. It started out with Brady throwing up fifteen times in one day. I might add this was just five days after we spent $200 to have the carpets cleaned. And he couldn't seem to get that we wanted him to get sick downstairs where there was no carpet. No, he had to find a new spot on the carpet each time. After $180 at the vet we concluded that it was indigestion. Again, I didn't realize that cats could get heart burn. Three days later he started sneezing horribly and had really bad eye crap. Back to the vet we go. Turns out he had an upper respiratory virus. More meds and another vet bill. Two days after he got better our cat Astro started showing the same signs that he had a cold. Another trip to the vet and another $60. Then last Wednesday our cat Ben showed the same signs that he was sick. Now Ben is a big baby anyway (my fault for treating him like he was my baby) and he milked us for every ounce of "poor Ben"he could get. Luckily the vet just let us pick up the meds for him with allowed us not to have another $25 office visit plus the cost of meds. Through all this I have become an expert at giving cats pills. It was not always an easy task.

Then yesterday we come home to find that someone has pissed on our bed. We weren't happy and stripped the bed and cleaned everything. Then this afternoon I walk up to the room and our oldest cat Bonk is laying on the bed making that sound like "I am about to be sick". I try to get her off the bed,but I wasn't in time. She pucked all over the bed. So for the second day in a row we are stripping our bed and washing everything.

I love our pets dearly, but I have seen enough puke and piss on our bed to last a lifetime. Our room is now officially "off limits" to the children during the day. We decided that the next pet that pukes or pisses is going up for auction on this blog. Stay tuned.

The above picture is of Sophie and her new toy. She's like a little kid when you buy her something new.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

I have become a member of another cult. This morning Laura and I went to Weight Watchers to begin our new life. I went about 4 years ago and it was successful, so we thought we would give it another shot. We then went to the grocery store and bought food for our new eating habits. It feels great going to the store and buying all fruits and vegetables instead of filling our cart with food that makes us feel and look like shit.

We then had the task of coming home and going through our cabinets and getting rid of anything that was unhealthy. There were some things in our cabinets that I didn't realize were there and had completelyforgotten that we had bought. For example: there was a box of rice that expired in January 2005. We really have got to clean out our cabinets more often. It seemed like such a waste to throw all that food out.

By noon we were ready for our weekend nap. We climbed into bed and I noticed there was something on the wall. I touched it and it was wet. I smelled it and couldn't figure out what it was. It didn't take us long to realize that one of the cats had had an accident in our bed, on my pillows. So much for a nap. We stripped the bed and threw everything into the wash. We are guessing that it is Ben who is now our third cat that is sick with this upper respiratory crap that is going around this house. He slept the entire night on the back of my pillows and I am wondering if when we left this morning he just had an accident. Our room has been off limits all day to the animals and they are very unhappy about that. We ended up taking our afternoon nap downstairs on the couch.

We are both fighting horrible sinus headaches. I think the weather change is causing havoc on our poor sinues. This up and down weather is driving us nuts. Yesterday morning we had the heat on and then by 4pm the house was so hot we had to turn the air on. I am pretty sure that we will have the heat back on later tonight as the temps are suppose to drop pretty low. They were talking about there possibly being frost in the morning. I have a feeling it's going to be a brutal winter. As long as we get lots of snow then I will be happy.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time in more then six months. Laura and I joined this gym in January 2005 and used it a lot until about six months ago. After our trip to Florida we kind of lost our zeal to go. We continued to pay the $55/month for our membership, although it went unused. Canceling the membership was not an option for me. I felt that if we canceled our membership it was admitting to failure. So we continued to pay for it.

When you swipe your card at the gym it tells when the last time you were there. I kept wondering what the front desk person was thinking seeing that I had not been to the gym since March. I didn't want to see the exact day because I was afraid that maybe it was actually before March.

We kept saying we planned on going back to the gym. But things kept coming up. Once summer got here we kept saying we were going to do more things outside. But then this past summer was so hot. Just walking to the car would cause you to break out in a full sweat. Then my back started hurting. In fact, it is still hurting, but I know the one thing that will cease this pain is losing some weight. And now here we are the end of September. It's amazing how fast six months goes by without you even knowing it.

Laura tells me daily that I am beautiful. Now if I could just figure out how to think that about myself. Going to the gym is one way. I always feel better about myself after I go to the gym. No matter what kind of day I am having, when I leave the gym life always seems better.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Today was my yearly review at my place of employment. It will be two years that I have worked here in November and this is my first review. Obviously they haven't had any problems with me since they waited two years for a review. I really love my job,but there are times that I get so bored. The spring and fall are the slowest times for us since the weather is so nice and people using drugs/alcohol don't usually think about making a change until it's really cold outside or really hot. Eight months after I started this job I got a promotion and a very nice raise. Since last July I have not gotten a raise and it seems that since since my promotion was so nice financially it appears I have to wait another year before I get a raise. I don't understand this, but I guess I should just be thankful that I have a job that I love, right?

I really have close to the perfect job. I control my schedule in terms of setting up appointments with clients, etc. If I have paperwork that I need to work on I simply block off my schedule. My boss is one of the most laid back people I know. His motto is (although this motto is just assumed) : as long as you get your work done I don't care how it gets done. He doesn't micromanage and there are some days when I don't see him at all. I only know he's here because his car is in the same parking spot that he has parked in for the past ten years. He has told us that if we need a day of for whatever (personal, mental health day) it's no problem.

Our company is small. There are just 12 of us that work in this office. Because our company is so small they pay all our medical premiums. In today's world when health insurance is so damn expensive that is a blessing. That means I have my health insurance provided without any money coming out of my paycheck. It is an HMO policy, but I have never had a problem with HMO's. Actually I think it cost less when you have an HMO. One co-pay and that's it. No deductibles to meet.

I have had some pretty horrible jobs in my life. When I was in my teens I worked the typical retail and realized that I hated retail. The fact that I realized that I hated retail made me stay in college and complete my education. Even after college I have had some horrible jobs. After I got my masters I worked in three different nursing homes. The first one I worked in was ok and I made some good friends there. It was just so depressing. After 7 months at that nursing home the parent company transferred me to another nursing home. That was the worst job that I have ever had. I hated every single minute I worked there. My boss at this one nursing home was a total bitch. When I left I made sure she knew what I thought of her. I then went to work for another nursing home and found this was equally as bad. Luckily they fired me (for something really stupid) and I was able to take six months off. I was looking for work, but was also really enjoying my time off while I collected unemployment. That six months I had off really healed my soul. One week before my unemployment ran out I found employment in a small town south of Kansas City. Little did I know that I was meant to work at this place. The pay sucked, but because of some connections I made at this place I met Laura. One important thing I learned while at this job that was literally costing me money to work there: everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't worked at this place that although I loved the work I was doing and I was barely making ends meet, I would have never met Laura. And if I hadn't met Laura I don't know where my life would be.

Life is what you make it. I strongly feel that if you go through life with a bad attitude always seeing the negative in life, then that is what you will get in life. It is so easy to go to the negative in life and many days I quickly go that route. But today is a different day. I choose to see the positive.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

No, our house has not turned into a "real" cathouse like my Mother thinks it has, but I have found the perfect house for our stray cats. At lunch today I went to this one pet store that I was pretty certain would have the wood "dog" houses that I was looking for. I didn't see any in the store, but I did see one plastic one that looked very much like wood. The price was $179, but the guy said he would sell it to me for $100. When I told him I needed to think about it he said they had some wooden houses outside in the back. I went out back and found the perfect house. $60 was in the price range I wanted to spend. And to make things even better, it matches the color of our house. Turns out there is a little bit of damage to the roof (very minor) and I got $10 off. $50 for a winter house for our strays is just perfect. Now I can rest easy at night knowing that our outside babies have a warm place to sleep in the long winter nights. I wonder if they will mind if I decorate it for the holidays?

Here's the front of the house. I already put a towel in there and their food. I am hoping that will get them used to it.

A side picture of their "home sweet home".

And look who went in there after I put a can of cat food in there. That would be Billie Jean (the baby). She wasn't scared at all. Blacky (Papa) let me pick him up and I tried to put him in the house. Him putting his claws out was my sign that he needed to go in on his own time.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

As many of you know to be a beauty queen takes a lot of work. Today was Sophie-cats day at the spa. Because she is so robust (not fat), she is unable to groom herself that well. We try hard, but she always gets these knots in her hair that just won't go away. So we made an executive decision to have her shaved. In order for them to do that they had to put her to sleep. She was not happy at all being without food for 9 hours last night, but she did survive. Although, she keeps telling us how she was on the brink of death. Here are the before and after pictures as well as some other fun pictures.

BEFORE & AFTER

Here she is all tuckered out from the day. We love it when she puts her face into us and just says "take me away Calgon".Here is Sophie and Laura enjoying "The Amazing Race". It's a whole family affair when we watch it. Sophie tries so hard to be human, she even tries to sit like us. Our next goal: not eating cat shit. She just doesn't get that we don't enjoy an occasional cat shit treat.

Here's Landon from this past Sunday. He was waving at the camera. I am trying to figure out if he was saying "Hi" or "Get that damn camera out of my face". You be the judge.

This is a picture of Beth (Laura's younger sister), Laura and Landon. By this time in the afternoon Landon was clearly saying, "I was promised cake. I want it NOW!!" Oh, wait, that wasn't Landon, that was me.

We have gone from summer weather (Saturday 90's) to almost winter like weather today (cloudy 50's). Actually winter is a lot colder, but it sure feels like winter when you just had 90's three days ago. I love the cool weather and love having the back door open in the evenings, but even last night it got a little chilly for me. Usually Laura is the one that is cold, but last night she seemed fine and I was the one asking if we could close the door. We didn't dare sleep with the window open.

We have 3 strays that we take care of. Blacky is the Dad, Betty is the Mom and the little baby is Billie Jean. Don't you just love those names. Well, Betty (aka Mama) is currently with child. We have been watching her little belly grow over the past few weeks. We are pretty sure that Betty and Blacky sleep in our neighbors yard (not Lynilu) in their shed. I am a little concerned because the Baby (Billie Jean) was sleeping in our yard last night. I always take in their food at night so we not attract skunks or coons, which by the way we get if the food is left out. When I went out at 10pm Billie Jean was sleeping on the mulch in the front. I felt bad because Blacky and Betty were no where in sight. I think they have kicked Billie Jean out of the shed. Maybe once the kittens are born they will let Billie Jean back in. So today at lunch I am on a mission. I am going to go find a small dog house that we can put out so that Billie Jean has a warm place to sleep. It can get pretty cold at night during the fall and winter. It's not uncommon for the temps to drop into the teens or much lower in the winter. So today my goal is to find Billie Jean a home for the winter. Knowing Blacky and Betty they will want to be in the cute little house that I find for Billie Jean once it gets cold and snowy.

I have really become attached to the Stray Family, as we call them. Blacky has been hanging around our house for probably six years. He knows his name and allows us to pet him. In fact, when we are putting out their canned food in the evening he will demand attention. Betty is a little more shy and has yet to allow us to pet her. But she is so curious about Blacky letting us pet him and give him lots of love. Billie Jean just looks at us like, "oh, I want you to pet me, but I am so scared".

With Betty being "with child" I am sure that we will have more kittens running around in the next few months. I really should take Blacky (since he will let me pet him and pick him up) to get fixed. That would really help with the problem of strays in our neighborhood. He has probably fathered 100+ babies. In fact, he is the Father of our cat Ben. He is known around the neighborhood as the "stud".

Monday, September 18, 2006

I think God is trying to communicate to Laura through Lionel Richie. Every time we get in the car together one of his songs comes on. This isn't just once in a while, but every time. And it's not the stuff from his new album, it's the old songs like "Penny Lover", "Stuck on You", "Truly" and all that old stuff. Last night she had a dream about Lionel Richie (no details allowed at this time). Then this morning she was looking to see what was on the View and guess who is on...you guessed it, Lionel Richie. This is actually starting to freak her out. I am just freaked out because I am wondering why she is dreaming about Lionel Richie and not me.

This morning we had our appointment with the Better Business Bureau. At 10:10 we were called back to the room. The Fix-it Guys (aka The fuck it up Guys) didn't appear to be coming. We were 10 minutes into the hearing when they showed up. So much for being on time. The hearing proceeded and we gave our evidence and the Fix-it Guys had no questions for us. I found that odd. When the owner of the Fix-it Guys gave his story he told lie after lie. I think I actually saw his nose growing as he was talking. Now the thing that got us was when we brought up that they were using things around our house (towels, sandpaper, buckets). The idiot from the Fix-it Guys said, "now the only reason we asked was because these ladies looked handy." Then he looked at the arbitrator and said (who by the way was a girly girl), "now if I had come into your house I would not have asked you for any materials, but they just seemed handy". WTF. So just because we are gay means we are handy and you can use our tools????? You should have seen the arbitrators face when he said that. She was as shocked as we were.

I think it is officially fall in Kansas City. We went to bed last night with the window open and I woke up around 6am just freezing my ass off. I usually love sleeping with the windows open when it's cool, but I think it got down in the mid 40's. We were thinking about going camping this weekend, but Laura said she doesn't know if she could handle temps that low at night. I agree. She would be miserable.

I got to work and found that I have my yearly review on Thursday. I've been here 2 years and never had one, so I don't know if this is good or bad. I am not too concerned. Maybe this means I will get a raise. That would be wonderful.

I scheduled my two root canals for a week from this Thursday. I planned it for late in the day and then taking Friday off. As long as they offer me the laughing gas I think I will be fine. It's time to get this stuff done and over with.

We were so excited last night for the Amazing Race. That is our favorite show and we have a countdown for when it comes on. Last night did not disappoint and I look forward to rest of the season. Hope everyone has a great week.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

This morning we decided to take our new bikes out for their first official bike ride. We've had them for a week, but with the rain last weekend and then my dental work it just hasn't worked out to be able to ride them. This morning was perfect for riding. Here is a picture of our ride this morning. There is a creek running next to our bike trail and it's just so pretty now with the leaves changing. It felt great getting out and my back did very well. Once home I was a little sore, but it was the good kind of sore.

Here is a picture of my new bike. We both decided that we have got to get a different bike seat. After 45 minutes on the bike this morning my ass hurt so much.

Yesterday morning I woke up just craving fruit. We went out and got some fruit and I have been eating it nonstop since yesterday. Yum, Yum, Yum. We decided that with every meal we are going to have at least some kind of fruit. I thought watermelon was out of season now, but I swear the watermelon and strawberries we got are so good.

Yesterday I walked into the computer room and found Ben (left) and Bonk (right) sharing the cat bed in front window. These two are not that close. In fact, this is the first time I have ever seen them "cuddling". Ben is the youngest (5) and Bonk is the oldest (19) of our cats. I just had to get a picture of the two of them.

My mouth is doing a lot better. Still a little sore, but better then it was Thursday and Friday. This morning Sophie went in for her haircut. She hates going, but always feels so much better afterwards. Actually she really didn't need a haircut, but we prefer her shaved since her hair gets so long. She is one tired girl tonight. All the excitement of two car rides and then spending the day at the beauty salon has made her so sleepy.

Tomorrow we are going down to Laura's sisters house for our 9 year old nephews birthday party. We have been so good this weekend with our choices in food that we told ourselves that our treat this weekend is a piece of birthday cake. Have I told you how much I love birthday cake. Yum.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Today has been a better day. I am still "down in the dumps" about the whole teeth situation. I think what is most upsetting is the the money we are going to be paying. I called my Health insurance company this morning asking if they would pay something due to the dental problems being caused by the diabetes. They said no. I woke up this morning with one of the worst headaches I've had in a while. I got three shots yesterday when they were trying to numb me up. My jaw is so sore right now. Eating has been a challenge today. For example: for breakfast I had applesauce. By afternoon it was feeling better and was able to eat a salad.

Last night Laura and I sat down and went over our "books" in terms of money. We have the money, but we just don't want to spend it. Does that make sense? There are so many things we could spend that money on, or just leave it in the bank for a rainy day. Although, I guess this qualifies for a rainy day. Thank goodness we have been smart with our money and been on a regular savings plan.

Last weekend I noticed the last "Mad About You" was on. We were going to be gone, so I set the TV up to record it. Last night we decided to watch it. Neither of us really watched Mad About You faithfully when it was on. We laughed and cried in that last episode.

Watching that show made me realize how lucky I am. I have a wonderful, supportive partner (who by the way said she would still love me if I had to get false teeth....now that's love), a roof over my head, a wonderful job and so many people that have become my "family" the past two years. A few bumps in the road shouldn't throw my confidence and self worthiness off as much as it did yesterday.

Laura and I have a wonderful 7 months planned. Not only are the holidays coming up (which I can't wait for),but we have something very special planned for April. (more news on that in the next few weeks) Laura is completely crazy about me. I couldn't ask for more.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

So the dentist did not go as well as I had hoped. Two of the cavities they were going to fill are too far gone and they need to do root canals. Because my dentist does not do molar root canals I am being referred to a specialist, who by the way charges $135 just for the consolitation. I am sure that after the $135 he will just tell me the same thing. My insurance company said they will reimburse me, but this dentist makes you pay it upfront and then go after your insurance. So what was going to just cost us $600 more is going to end up costing an additional probably $1800.

Driving home from the dentist I felt a complete burden on Laura. We have a nice savings, but my dental work is taking up almost 1/2 of it. It just doesn't seem fair to put her through all this because of my poor choices in the past.

But teeth are an important thing that I can't loose at 33.

I can hear my Father saying, "I told you to take better care of yourself." And I feel like that 14 year old girl that feels like she has little worth and is just a huge burden on those around her.

Today I have my next to the last dental appointment to correct the many problems that seem to have gone wrong with my teeth in the past three years. As much as I am excited that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am not looking forward to this afternoon. My last root canal was a horrible experience. I just pray that the next to appointments go a lot better. On my last appointment I opted not to have the "laughing gas" since I didn't like the way I reacted to it before. Today I have decided to have the laughing gas. I do admit that the first time I had it I was so much more relax and it made the appointment seem not so bad. Today's appointment will take close to two hours. I have taken tomorrow off "just in case". I am pretty sure that I am going to be very sore and I didn't want to have to risk calling in sick. Life is always better when you plan for the worst because it usually means it doesn't happen.

Financially it has also been a huge burden having all these dental problems. Even with dental insurance it has taken a lot of our own money. I would say since June we have spent close to $1600. And that is with insurance!!!!! I don't know how people do it without health insurance.

On a final note: Please send lots of good thoughts our way. Not just for all the dental work that I am having, but also for a decision that Laura is making in the next week or so. At this time I can't go into more detail, but just send out lots of good prayers. Thanks blogger friends. BTW, I have the best blogger friends in the world.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

You know you are going to struggle throughout the day when it starts out by being pulled over for speeding. As I was making my way to work this morning I was getting ready to turn left at a light and noticed a cop behind me. No matter what I am doing (at this moment I was just sitting there) my heart starts racing. As soon as I started to turn he turned on his lights. I couldn't figure out what I did wrong. Then I realized that the building right in front of where I was turning was a school zone. Here is my conversation with Mr. Police Man:

Cop: Do you realize you were in a school zone?

Me: How fast was I going?

Cop: I clocked you at 40 and the speed limit is 25. Where you off to in such a hurry this morning? (when did 40 mph become a rush?)

Me: Work..I didn't know I was speeding

Cop: Where do you work?

Me: "The Place Where I work".

Cop: I need to see your drivers license.

The cop came back just 3 minutes later with my ticket. I don't know how much it is going to be since they will be mailing me my ticket. I am sure it's going to be a hefty fine since it it a school zone. It has been six years since my last ticket. I am usually very cautious of school zones because I know they watch most of them and you really should slow down with all the little ones walking to school.

Once I got to work a co-worker asked me (she doesn't drive) if I could take her on a few errands. Anything to get out of the office was my thought. I took her to the Social Security Office and then the DMV. I have seen enough government officials for the rest of the year. I will tell you, the DMV is a joke. When we got there they were on number 59 and we were number 70. It took more then an hour. Thankfully there were enough freaks waiting there with us that I was entertained.

***Update 10:00PM****If you want a real good laugh, just to to Lynilu's blog to see her latest post titled "America's Most Wanted". I do need to say I am innocent until proven guilty. Gee, and I thought Lynilu was my friend.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I woke up this morning, jumped in the shower and decided I needed a day off. I wasn't feeling too well, but probably well enough that I could have gone into work if I really wanted to. I am glad I ended up staying home because out cat Astro needed to be taken to the vet. YES, we have yet another cat that has come down sick. When Brady was out at the vet when he was sick I think he picked up an upper respiratory infection. His was gone within a couple of days, but poor Astro has just gotten worse since Sunday. I decided today he needed to go to the vet. Good thing, because the vet decided that he did have an upper respiratory infection and put him on antibiotics. I've made more trips to the vet in the past two weeks then I have in the past two years.

We ended the day with a very nice dinner with Lynilu. As many of you know, she is moving here in just a few weeks. She does not realize how much we are going to miss her. So, we treated her to an early goodbye dinner. We took her to one of our favorite restaurants. It's on a local lake, right on the water. It was a 5 course meal that left us almost too full to walk to our cars. Tonight was a special night since part of the proceeds went to charity. Growing up my family had a cabin on this lake and the restaurant we went to is directly across from this cabin. I have many good memories on this lake. Going to eat at The Marina Grog and Galley always brings back special memories for me. Here are some pictures from the night.

A picture of the fireplace. I would LOVE to have a fireplace like this in our home. Well, actually, I would love to have any fireplace in our home. That is one thing I miss.

Here was our view from our table. See the lake. You can't ask for a better view. In the summer they have seating outside on the patio. It's cool to watch people pull up in their boats for dinner. Our goal is to one day move to this lake, if not Florida.

As we were leaving this was the picture. It's not a great picture, but it's still a beautiful view of the sun setting.

About 1/2 through dinner (it took 2 hours to get through all the courses) Laura suddenly got quiet and not wanting to look towards the lake. Come to find out, the table right next to us, next to the window, one of her ex's was there. I wish I had known cause I would have gotten a better look at her.

Monday, September 11, 2006

I had just started back to school to get my Masters Degree. I was driving to work and it was about 8:25am local time. They came across the radio saying that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. The station that I was listening to I wasn't sure if I could believe what they were saying. I called my Dad who said a plane had flown into the Towers. Panic didn't set in until about 10:30am when we were on break from a class and we had heard that a plane had also crashed into the Pentagon. I was then scared. I had no idea what was going on. Was this the end of the world?

School let out early that day and I made my way home. I remember seeing cars lined up at gas stations and I just wanted to get home. Being in the comfort of my own home, even though I was alone, was what I wanted. I was glued to the tv watching everything they were saying. I remember going outside and just watching the sun go down knowing that the world would never be the same after the events of this day.

At the time of the 9/11 attacks I was trying to get back into the church. The Sunday after the attacks our local paper put American Flags in the paper that could be put on your front door. I so desperately wanted to put it on my front door, but knew it was not allowed in the church. I wanted to show my support for our great country.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

I had lots of pictures from this weekend and had to do two posts. It's been a busy weekend around here.

Brady loves the sun. Our front window faces the southwest with no shade. Many times in the afternoons Brady will get on the back of the couch and put his little paws on the window and look outside. I love this picture of him.

I just realized (duh!!) that my camera does black/white pictures. I took these pictures of Sophie while Lynilu was over earlier in the week. Can you tell she is tired of me taking her pictures??

I think this picture of Sophie is really neat. I love the sky in the background.

As you can see Brady will sleep anywhere. He LOVES the dog bed even though it was filled with dog toys. As you will see he just used the toys as pillows and a foot rest.

We had our nephew up yesterday and we played The Game of Life. As we were breaking down the game we noticed a person under the house. Just shows the sign of the times. It's getting so bad out there that people in the Game of Life are even being buried under houses.

We went to some garage sales over the weekend and found the perfect bed for Brady. As you can see it didn't take him long to sleep on it. Infact, I don't think he has gotten off the bed since yesterday.

And to end the weekend we have sat around today watching the Chiefs lose (big surprise) and the rain fall. As I was driving to get breakfast this morning I saw many cars that had their trunks open with grills sticking out the back. It is offically fall.

Do You:**Like Someone: Many People**Want more piercings: Had my upper ear pierced, but it's closed up. Would love to get it re pierced**Want a tattoo: Yes, and will probably get one within the year

Last:**Person talked to in person: Laura**Person talked to/texted on the phone: Laura while I was driving home from work**Movie Watched: Something New**Movie Saw in theater: Miami Vice

Ever:**Ever had a friend die: Yes**Ever dated a cousin: Um, no**Ever finished a puzzle: When I was 5**Ever had surgery: Yes when I was 11**Ever hated someone: Yes

Pick One:** Blue or Red: Blue**Purple or green: Green**Dogs or Cats: I don't think I could chose. I love them equally**Spring or Fall: Fall**Winter or Summer: Winter

Random Stuff:**Are you bilingual: No habloEspanol**How old do you act: Depends..sometimes like I am 75 and sometimes like I am 15. Usually around 30**Braces: Yes..Junior year**Do you have any pets: 5 Cats (Astro, Bonk, Brady, Ben and Sophie), 1 Dog (Sophie) and 12 fish

Who:**Who is in the room with you? Bonk**Who gets on your nerves the most: Someone I work with (can't name, sorry)**Who is your favorite family member: My nephews

What:**What was the last thing you ate: Nachos**What was the last thing you drank: Water**What color pants are you wearing: Navy Blue shorts**What is the closest item near you: A pile of papers**What are you wearing on your feet: Nothing**What instant messaging service do you use: AOL, but most of the time none

When:**When is your birthday: May 29**When did you last go shopping: This morning on my way to work**When did you last go to a movie: July**When do you usually wake up: 7:30am**When do you usually go to bed: 10:00pm**Where is your cell phone: Downstairs on the charger**Where is your Mom: Your guess is better then mine**Where do you sleep: Next to Laura**Where did you get the shirt you are wearing: Eddie Bauer**Where did you last take a care ride to: Home

This morning was my appointment with the Orthopaedic Doctor. It meant filling out more paperwork, having more x-rays done. I don't know about you, but my favorite thing is wearing a tiny gown that does not close in the back and laying on a cold table for 20 minutes. The x-rays showed nothing, which is good. The doctor told me I have a very straight back. He did read the MRI and saw the same results. Now on to fixing this problem. He referred me to a pain management company for eperidal injections. I have never had any children, but this really scares the crap out of me. The fact that I have to have someone drive me is never a good sign. I just hope it takes away some of the pain. My cousins wife had an eperidual when she gave birth and she had so many complications from it.

Yesterday when I got off work Laura and I had planned on going biking. We were both in horrible moods, but decided the exercise would do some good. We get the bikes loaded up, drive to the bike trail, unload the bikes and hop on the trail. Within 15 seconds I knew I had done something wrong to the bike. The chain had fallen off. We tried to fix it, but ended up loading the bikes back up and going home. This didn't help either of our moods. I decided I need to read the manual on shifting gears. We had a quiet evening at home after that. Maybe this weekend we will try to venture out again on the bikes.

At 5am I woke up because one of our cats was standing on my side. I kind of moved and the cat jumped off. Laura said that I had started to snore and within seconds our cat Bonk jumped up on the bed and on my side. She said it was pretty cute because it was as if the cat was afraid something was wrong. Once I was awake I realized my throat was scratching and I was a little congested. There is some nasty shit going around KC and most people we know either are just getting over this or are currently sick. Just my luck...getting sick on a Friday.

Right when I got to work Lynilu called me and asked if I had read any blogs this morning. After informing her that I had just gotten to work she informed me that Millie had passed away this morning. If you remember this is the little girl that is just 2 that had a brain tumor. I found her blog by chance about six months ago. I can't believe how attached I became to this little girl. Her strength and courage is such an inspiration. And what a beautiful smile she had. I will greatly miss seeing pictures of her.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Click here to see a picture of Brady on our Channel 9 News Website. I submitted it and he is the picture for the link to see all the other pet pictures. Once you get to the site scroll down and it's on the lower right side. It's the picture of him with his Teddy bear.

We told him about this and his ego already has gone through the roof.

***Update: Thursday 8:30PM---Brady's 15 minutes of fame are over. He is no longer the featured picture, although his picture is still on there, just not on the homepage. It was a wild 24 hours with his ego flying around. *******

I had a client call and leave a message saying they had missed their appointment. This happens a lot, so I am used to a message like this. I checked our computer system and guess when this client's appointment was?????

Last Thursday I went for the MRI on my back. I was expecting it to be very simple, but it was probably the most painful experience of my entire life. The MRI itself was not painful, but the position they had my legs in was horrible. They put a triangle pillow under my feet while I was laying flat on my back. I immediately had major spasms down my entire right leg. And as you know you are suppose to be very, very still. 30 minutes later I was in such pain that I could barely get off the tiny table they had me lay on. In fact I asked the nurse to give me a few seconds to get myself up off the table. I have learned that getting up on my right side is almost paralyzing.

So this morning my Doctor called with the results. It's not what I wanted to hear. In my lower lumbar I have a bulging disk. Crap. Now starts the process of going to the Orthopaedic Doctor for further evaluation. I have continued with the physical therapy and it seemed to be helping or I have just learned to live with the pain. I don't know.

I don't know how many more signs my body can give me that I need to be taking better care of it. Ten years of neglecting my body has started to show. Laura and I have been walking more and we have decided to go out and get some bikes.

I have to follow through with this change I want to make. I have no choice.

Monday, September 04, 2006

This morning I was sitting out on my front steps minding my own business when I saw the familiar local Jehovah's Witnesses come around the corner. I quickly grabbed my camera for a photo opportunity. I think they were too consumed in their "we are better then everyone else" to see I was taking their picture. I sat out there wondering if they were going to come up to my door. Sure enough the women you see in this picture came walking up to our door. It turned out to be a very interesting conversation.

When she walked up I said "let me guess, you're a Jehovah's Witness" and her reply was "how did you know?" First of all, how would someone not know. I proceeded to tell her that I knew because my whole family are JW's. I listed off some of my family and of course she knew them. She then told me that she was unofficially my auntie and I needed to give her a hug. WTF!! She said my Mom and my Mom's sister have adopted her. She then tried to give me the Watchtower and I told her that I wouldn't read it. I told I was disfellowshipped and expected her to walk away nicely. Usually when I tell them I was disfellowshipped they run as fast as they can. Much to my surprise she stayed and wanted to preach to me more. We probably talked for 30 minutes. Here are some of the points from our discussion.

*She doesn't know who Mother Theresa is.

*She informed me that it was nice that my family was allowing me to stay in my Grandmothers house. I nicely informed her that they aren't letting me do anything. I bought this house 8 years ago.

*I was causing the separation from my family and if I would just follow Jehovah's way then we would have a relationship again.

*That I come from a long line of good Jehovah's Witnesses and that it must be my behavior causing the distance from my family. Because to her my family is very nice and loving.

After she left I was kind of shell shocked. She asked if she could invite me to the Kingdom Hall. I told her she could, but I wouldn't attend. She then asked if she could pick me up. I told her no. She then asked if she found something for me to read if she could bring it by. I told her that was fine. I don't know why I told her she could bring something by. I will not read it and I really don't want her coming back to our house. I think I didn't want to be rude and felt by telling her no she would think I was rude. It was weird.

This was also the first JW that has come to my door that I didn't say I was gay. Laura asked why I didn't tell her I was gay and that was the reason I was disfellowshipped. I have no answer for that. I think I felt like I didn't want to tell her ALL my business. I did tell her that I have never been happier in my life. She asked me with a weird look on her face, "doing what?" I wanted to say "fuck you bitch". I told her I am happy because I am surrounded by people that love me for me, not my religion.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

**If you are unable to see the pictures you might try refreshing. If that doesn't work, go to my flickr account (lower right side) and I have uploaded all photos there as well. Blogger is being an ass AGAIN.*****

Well, another summer has come to a close. I don't know about you, but I am very happy to see this summer go. It seemed too hot and we seemed to have too much money leaving our bank account. Mother Nature seems to be confused here in Kansas City. Memorial Day Weekend which marks the beginning of summer was 100 degrees. We started the summer out by going camping and never seemed to get back due to hot temperatures and the never ending dental work I had going on. Now here it is Labor Day Weekend which marks the end of summer. We have had perfect temps in the 70's with temps in the 50's at night. It seems the two holidays temperature wise were mixed up. We have had a near perfect weekend ourselves. Nothing beats a three day weekend, money in the bank and loved ones to spend the time with. Here are some pictures from our weekend..so far.

First of all, I would like to thank all of you for the nice comments and good wishes for Brady for a speedy recovery. He is doing better, although he is sleeping more. Turns out he just had a bad case of indigestion. At least that is what we are concluding. Nothing showed up on the blood work and the results came back negative for a bladder infection. The vet gave him some pills for acid reduction. So far, so good. Here is a picture of him today taking a nap with his friend "Teddy". Nothing beats a nap with your best friend.

With it being so cool we are able to open all the windows. As you can see the cats fight over one window when there are 8 other ones open. Go figure. (L-R..Astro, Brady, Ben)

Saturday got started early with us doing a lot of work around the yard. We cleaned the back deck, mowed the yard and as you can see I cleaned the gutters. It's a nasty job, but someone's got to do it.

Here is our cleaned off deck. With it being so hot we kind of neglected this part of the house. As you can see the dog loved it as well.

We grilled out last night and had a fire going in our fire pit. As you can see we had a huge flame going. It was still going strong at 10pm. We finally dumped some water on it and called it a night.

And we ended today by laying around reading. It has been a perfect weekend. We better enjoy it because knowing Mother Nature next weekend will either be 100 or we'll have snow.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Please say some extra prayers for Brady. He started throwing up last night and continued throwing up most of the evening. He is at the vet right now. So far they have found blood in his urine and will do further tests. Apparently the vet thinks he might have a bladder infection which is very rare in male cats. (I had no idea) So, please say a few extra prayers for him. He needs them.

**10:30PM Update*** Brady is home and seems to be ok. Just very tired from all day adventure to the vet. Blood work came back just fine. In fact the vet said the blood work is great for a "senior citizen" kitty. Still waiting on the results from the bladder infection. Brady did throw up tonight after we got home. If he continues we will take him back to the vet for an x-ray. The vet informed me that the blood work won't necessarily show cancer. So, if he has no bladder infection and continues to throw up then we move on to the next test. Thanks for all the kitty prayers.

You are Visitor......

When I first started this blog it was because I felt lost in the world and didn't know where I fit into the world. After taking several years off to get to know the real Caroline, I think I have finally found my place in the world. I hope you will tag along so I can share with you all the wonderful little things in my life. I now live at the top of the world (literally) and I love the view from here.