A
couple wanted khatna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper
word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF
FUCKING INSTRUMENTS

»

Husband
sitting near to his wife n she was driving, Husband: please slow down
the speed of car. Wife: No ;please. No; please No please No pls..
Husband: the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of exident;
Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts:
"Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and
then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????

»

Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in
20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes

»

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed
exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been
successful in BED."

Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and
93 years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you
say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future
tense.
Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

»

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a
strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

»

Girls before marriage look like barbi Doll
After mariage beautiful Doll
After 1 year nice Doll
After 2 Years only Doll Copyright www.lovelysms.com
& After 3 Years panaDoll

»

Q:What
is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Bob calls in to his job: "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today.
I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so
I'm not coming into work." The boss says:"You know Bob,
I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell
her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You
should try that." 2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon.
By the way, you got nice house."

»

FATHER: How are your grades, son?
SON: Under water, Dad.
FATHER: Under water? What do you mean?
SON: They're below C level.

»

STUDENT: But I don't think I deserve a zero on this exam.
TEACHER: Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

»

A FAMILY SAW ''SHOLAY'' MOVIE
CAME BACK HOME AND HUSBAND ROMANTICALLY SAID TO WIFE
'' NACH BASANTI NACH''
CHILD ADDED
''NAHIN BASANTI IS KUTE K SAMNE MAT NACHNA''

»

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a best seller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl

»

Happiest man is on whose,
daughter's photograph is on femina cover,
son on india today,
girlfriend on playboy,
WIFE on missing coloumn of newspaper

»

Thought for the Days!!!
if you call your mother as MUM...
What will you call Mother's younger
sis and elder sis?
Answer : MINMUM & MAXIMUM

»

Teacher
:Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A HOLIDAY

»

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad

Newtons
First Law of ishq
the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite,
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals

»

Newtons First Law of Ishq
a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl,
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless,
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.

Just
imagine life without GIRLS
the result === markets silent, streets empty, the police at rest, All
mobile companies in loss, No SMS, No flowers, No candles, No perfumes,
No travelling
ALL THE MEN DIRECT TO HEAVEN

»

did u know what is mean by MAN
M=marvelous
A=and
N=nice
and the word WOMAN mean is
W=wanted
O=other
MAN=man

»

one day dog dancing madly on the merage of lion lion ask y r u dancing
madly dog said i am also lion before merrage....

»

Husband:"Darling years ago u had a figure like a Coke bottle."
Wife:"Yes darling I still do but the only difference is earlier it
was300ml and now it's 1.5 liter