June 18, 2011

I was given eight to ten article assignments a night, writing about television shows that I had never seen before. AOL would send me short video clips, ranging from one-to-two minutes in length — clips from “Law & Order,” “Family Guy,” “Dancing With the Stars,” the Grammys, and so on and so forth… My job was then to write about them. But really, my job was to lie. My job was to write about random, out-of-context video clips, while pretending to the reader that I had watched the actual show in question. AOL knew I hadn’t watched the show. The rate at which they would send me clips and then expect articles about them made it impossible to watch all the shows — or to watch any of them, really.
That alone was unethical. But what happened next was painful. My “ideal” turn-around time to produce a column started at thirty-five minutes, then was gradually reduced to half an hour, then twenty-five minutes. Twenty-five minutes to research and write about a show I had never seen — and this twenty-five minute period included time for formatting the article in the AOL blogging system, and choosing and editing a photograph for the article. Errors were inevitably the result. But errors didn’t matter; or rather, they didn’t matter for my bosses.
I had panic attacks; we all did. My fellow writers would fall asleep, and then wake up in cold sweats. I worked the graveyard shift — 11PM to 7 or 8AM or later — but even the AOL slaves who wrote during the day would report the same universal experience. Finally falling asleep after work, they would awake with a jump, certain that they had forgotten something — certain that they hadn’t produced their allotted number of articles every thirty minutes. One night, I awoke out of a dead sleep, and jumped to my computer, and instantly began typing up an article about David Letterman. I kept going for ten minutes, until I realized I had dreamed it all. There was no article to write; I was simply typing up the same meaningless phrases that we all always used: “LADY GAGA PANTLESS ON LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN,” or some such.
. . .
When it comes to an article, what AOL cares about is the title, and the “keywords” that will make the article more likely to show up among the top results on Google. You type phrases into “Google Trends,” and it suggests the most popular combination of words associated with that topic. You then stick those words into your title and first paragraphs. Rinse, wash, and repeat. The article itself was just ballast.
. . .

BARUCH HERZFELD, a landlord in Brooklyn, sometimes finds himself unsure about a potential tenant. Because his buildings are in neighborhoods like Bushwick and Bedford-Stuyvesant, which are frequented by artistic and creative workers, a number of his applicants have questionable credit or spotty incomes.
But rather than reject them out of hand, Mr. Herzfeld sometimes refers them to Joan Baker, a freelance property manager and superintendent who conducts as part of her services what she calls “psychic credit checks” — interviews in which she tries to intuit whether a tenant will be reliable.
Mr. Herzfeld hired Ms. Baker as a superintendent in 2006. She also manages properties for other landlords, primarily working out of her Bed-Stuy apartment.
“I’ve never had a problem with anyone she’s checked into,” Mr. Herzfeld said. “I don’t know what part is psychic, what part is luck and what part is interpersonal skill. But I know she’s effective.”
Ms. Baker, 33, said she based her assessments on personal interaction and a close reading of a potential tenant’s application. She admits that “anyone can tell if someone’s crazy,” but says most applicants require a more sensitive reading.

June 16, 2011

I may start doing this as a regular feature. You see, I've been out of work for like sixteen months or so now after getting laid off by Lexis/Nexis (my job was shipped to the Philippines, which is another job not coming back to America). I've been using Indeed.com and a handful of curated search streams to look for work pretty much every day. And nearly every single day I find a job that is just plain odd. Yesterday it was a guy who wanted someone to write library-themed erotica for him for $5 (experienced erotica writers only) and today it's this gentleman.
boardgame rule book - Writing & Translation Jobs - oDesk

Job Description
I am looking for an editor to help me finish the rule book for my companies new board game "SHANKtheB!T@H". I have completed its basic format and content which consists of roughly 30 pages of text. I am not a technical writer and need the help of a professional to polish it off. A creative side may be needed throughout this process in order to boil down some of the emotions that I would like to see represented in text.