THE NE.W YORKER counters and ticket agencies, where he will be received with pitying laugh- ter. As it happens, there is only one man in New York who can, on short no- tice, produce good seats for the weekend performances of the three biggest hits. He can also, if generously feed, enlist strike breakers, put you in touch with any number of party girls all less than eighteen years old, sell you a deck of morphine, or arrange to have your bus- iness rivals' knees broken with a base- ball bat. Getting in touch with him is a delicate matter, especially if you are not familiar with the underworld; once contact is established, it is only a ques- tion of money. (However, I am in this discussion following Cue's assumption that money is no object.) This fellow's name is Coky, and he transacts his busi- ness in a number of places-the men's washroom at the Astor, the lobby of Madison Square Garden, several de- pressed little bistros between Sixth and Seventh Avenues in the upper Forties, a couple of viper dens in Harlem, and the lobby of the \Valdorf-Astoria. The best: way to make a quick contact with Coky is to start out at about eleven in the evening and make the rounds of his favorite haunts. \Vhenever you see a small, tight man in a small, tight chesterfield, approach him in a friendly way and say, "Hiya, Coky?" All the small, tight men, whether they be Coky or not, will snarl, "Yah? \Vho wan- "\" T h . 1 " I ' . sum rot IS you rep y, m Just in from Akron. Joe Grotz told me to look you up." If Coky is not at the moment wanted by headquarters, and if he is not too busy with bigger affairs, it may well be that he will reveal his identity and oblige you in the matter of the three pairs of tickets. It should not cost you more than a hundred and fifty dollars. This procedure is admit- tedly melodramatic, but I offer no apol- ogies. Who started it, Cue or I? TOOKING at Cue's itinerary for the L happy couple, it seems to me that Friday is the big stumbling block. In fact, I will say definitely that if they can get through Friday alive, they will be able to weather the entire weekend. I will not, since we must treat this weekend simply as a feat of endurance, carp at the unpleasant emotional effects that would result from taking the girl to the Plaza for Friday breakfast after having taken her there for dancing the night before. (Rule No. I is "Never take a girl for breakfast to the place you have been the night before." You are ',' ,::: :,:::;,: ;':<(o::::::i ,', ..,': i::,": , ;; ::' ::' l !'}:' IHH ,:">0 if, ;=?: __ '.'....x-:. .,.:. ; . - .- \,', 'o 'L::i" .. :"<, ;, .. .. <'." . ,,""'ö -, .. 1'/(' '0..... . .'It; "", .. ... ; .... ,i'fr;\'%; ':r, l ilr ; r;':;' '1"i i '{1 , \, '; ',1::: t::, ' , j 'J\,;} : <;1 u}l /:/ '; "...."y, ',,'*' , )/ ',',,' ',,' t i ' , .......'': :. . :} , -: :, ', '!B " f' "- , '.;ii - <<'''''; FJt&f% :"? !( : : ; , : , . , . . ' , ; , : ' : ; , : , ; .. : : : , 1 : ': , I , : :.. , , is , f , ; , ; , , : , ,"',.Jt$: ti:,j" " ,. ../I' , j , ,: : " :::::: , :l , , : , : , : , " : ; , , : ; , , : " ',' o. . . . ÿ; ' j;\t>,:, '::::': ':::: 5it", : ;:f.,J :::::t*i::""':' :'\':;;<\;:;:i" :$, , ',": '" ^"""'<<"..,::'::,:::}:::::::',% ::' -_-_ '..' ::::::X:;:.,: "-:':' j: : ;;.t:;t : -ø r 1l'Zi;; \,. , , f' ;;tf{ ""'\:, .?: : ::;::-._....' :t E" . feeling different from the way you felt seven hours before, and so is she; prob- ably she is feeling even more different. In this state, she should not be per- mitted to stand in the foyer where, in a happier mood, you nibbled her left ear, or pass through the lobby where, unnoticed by the house detective, you squeezed her hand. It is fatal.) Well, let's see-morning, Modern Museum; afternoon, "Gone with the W . d " . " L o f 0 h F h " In; evenIng, I e WIt at er and dancing at the Rainbow Room. The girl may be able to get along on the ordinary stimulants-black coffee, brandy, Benzedrine-especially if she has been playing a lot of field hockey and is in good condition. I would not 0...; advise the man to trust anything less poten t than hashish, which can be pro- cured on prescription from any un- ethical physician. The best way to work it, if you are unused to hashish, is to try to get through the morning on your nerve; after all, museum feet is not the worst agony. Then, at "Gone with the \,rind," sometime around the fall of Atlanta, take the first shot; aft- Ii , " .... :',X. ::: '::' 0; ",, ;;:w: : ; i:.:,': ' :; .....,..... ..,. '. " " "... ::":j,':,,;$" . '..'= ,J : " '>>.'<.-x;<Jn" i:J?,t:"" .. <::,:. ::,. . "\tt\i ':f"','C ::,': : i,::: 1, ;;' : f..i\'''f,j 5 ;,<ú{ Wi . :: : ::::::::::':::::-:: j, <, .!- .-r -i - ,Jt..,w:W: YO>, '..',' , ' :':.:.:.:. '>>.'...................-.. g $::;rt :: :::::?:: i" ::"' I ..": '<, ...... :.... " ê> ;';) \';"' " .-: ..it *'" g' " ;,' ,#::: : ::: ::::::':'::f: :,:"..,:, " ,' . . er that, take as required. I could wish that Cue had not selected the Rainbow Room as the after-theatre spot, because one of the entertainers is a man who picks live chicks out of the patrons' pockets, and the effects of this on a man who has taken hashish are unpredict- able. However... I can tell you the exact moment w hen the editors of Cue think the cou- ple will reach the breaking point. The pay-off is that innocent little sentence, "Dine at Ships Grill, 400 E. 57th." All the way across town in the six- 0' clock traffic; all the way back in the eight-o' clock traffic. It was a cunning 0...; touch, but I know the riposte. Hire a private ambulance to take you from the Astor Theatre to the Ship Grill, and from the Ship Grill to the Empire; it will cost fifty dollars, but it will be worth it. It might be a good idea to have them bring along an oxygen tank. A few whiffs of pure oxygen are a marvellous restorative. \Vell, my courting days are over, God be thanked. -RUSSELL MALONEY