Monday, January 9, 2012

Fat Ladies, Ice Cream and Pedophiles

Sometimes things that seem unrelated meet at a crossroads to form a logical picture we all can understand. Certain combinations find their way to each other organically though chance and destiny. You can't alter destiny, it's an unstoppable force. I prefer to just call it "the future."

I recently discovered pork rinds and chocolate have such a relationship. I thought I invented something new, but sadly there is actually a candy bar ready for national launch that is indeed bacon bits inside a chocolate bar. Look for it to pop up near the register in a few months at your local junk-mart. Some might think this marriage of flavor is disturbing. So did I, till I experienced the sweet-salty fiesta that took place on my skeptical pallet.

Some combinations you just see coming. PB n J, strippers and cocaine or soccer and boredom, the similarities greet us with a hello and we accept them.

And we can all agree that fat chicks and pedophiles will have their freezers fully stocked with ice cream. Their motivation could be characterized as polar opposites, but science should still take notice of the correlation.