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This needs an explanation. Years ago our young son loved to tease and torment the cat, and was doing so with a long thin wooden dowel of my husband's. This became a "saying" in our house--if someone was teasing/tormenting someone else, trying to get a reaction, they were "doweling" them. In fact, some friends have even started saying it!

I have the occasional habit of swapping digraphs and prefixes in words when I am either tongue tied or speaking rapidly....which leads me to saying things such as, "I chomise to prange the batteries....."..."So scared, I was baking in my shoots..."

I get a laugh every Valentine's Day when I see a herd of guys looking like lost sheep in a store gazing quizzically at candy, flowers, or a stuffed bear. You would think if they picked up the wrong item it would detonate.

Oddly enough, Israel is a leading EXPORTER of tulips. I seem to recall seeing a web video of a refrigerated cargo planeload of them going to - Holland?

But, I know you only asked for tulips within your DH's easy driving distance.

I thought my wife was being practical when she asked me not to get her expensive roses. She even said she would pick up the cheapest flowers at the flower shop, and would drive there herself to pick them up. Trouble was, she wanted to drive there in a new BMW.

'You don't know what you're missing' if you've never said "No good deed goes unpunished"

Don't panic! Just be Rapture Ready.
Joel 3:2
I will gather all nations and bring them down to the Valley of Jehoshaphat. There I will put them on trial for what they did to my inheritance, my people Israel, because they scattered my people among the nations and divided up my land.

In all my years as a Pre-K teacher, I've never had a class where the kids just LOOK at me when I talk to them like my class this year does. It's not as bad now as it was at the beginning of the school year, so I think it might have been partly a language issue (most of my class is Hispanic and probably speak Spanish at home, and my Spanish is improving but not conversational). One of my students, though, a cute little guy, has what I call the "cute trifecta" -- big brown eyes, long eyelashes, and dimples. It has kind of become a "thing" for him to look pointedly at me and just BLINK, prompting this false-irritated response from me:

"Stop BLINKING at me!!"

"Oir is leatsa an rioghachd, agus an cumhachd, agus a gloir, gu siorraidh, Amen." ("For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, Amen" -- Scots Gaelic)