The first of a pair of 'sister spinoffs' of my 'Touhou Doujin' series. This is Tokage Reiketsu, the perverted lizard's 'Real-life Fanfiction'. Intended to be a stylistic parody, and is written as if it's an in-universe book...

Liquid fear gushed from Yukari's eyes as Yutaka walked slowly and powerfully towards the delicate Border Youkai, a blood-red aura of mist spraying from her large, iniquitous body like a cloud of pure evil. Lifting her scythe, Yukari kneeled to the ground, and called to the air, "Please... someone... anyone... save me..."

Suddenly, a light poured into the ebony-black area that glowed with orange, radiant flames of death, and illuminated the hopeless Border Youkai, a light so glorious that the black heart of Yutaka could not bear to look at it. A soft, pure, yet strong voice, called out to Yukari, "This is Yuyuko... I will grant you my power... as long as you bring swift judgement upon this sinner. Do not look back... fight with all your heart..."

Yukari felt her body surge with a euphoric light of pureness, and her clothes began to change colour- her eyes turned from violet to a soft maroon, and she began to glow as her ample chest became even greater, and soon, Yukari found she was wearing a blue and white Kimono with a noticeable aperture to accentuate her bosom, now greater than ever before. Her hair turned from soft ash-blonde to a brilliant ash pink. Light radiated from her curvaceous, perfectly proportioned body, and she floated majestically in the Netherworld's ghostly breeze, outshining the fire's light with her glory.

Yutaka stepped back in fear at her new enemy, but her malevolence gave her twisted heart a new confidence as she spat loathsomely, "Ha! You think that just because you're possessed by Yuyuko that you'll beat me? I'll just kill you all over again, Yuyuko! Prepare to die!"

Yutaka proceeded to swing her large, Machiavellian scythe viciously at her sworn enemy, but the swing was stopped in the midst of the killing blow of supreme death, by the ethereal hand of Yukari, who grabbed the blade, stopping it in its deathly tracks.

"You... shall attack me no more..." Yukari said, her ephemeral voice echoing with a semblance of tone forming what sounded like a portmantologism of Yuyuko's voice with her own. Soft, glowing white blood seeped slowly from her as she continued to hold the wicked scythe of malice in her pure, infallible hand, and eventually, her blood of pure pureness covered the scythe completely, causing it to disappear into the black darkness, its evil unable to comprehend the pure goodness of Yukari's pure blood.

Yutaka gasped in consternation, and quivered as she asked, "But... how? Why... no, you can't..."

Yukari continued to shine her glorious glory onto her enemy, and pointed to her justly, "I shall finish you. I am the true love of the entire world, and I will have my destiny fulfilled..."

Yutaka's heart filled with rage, unable to comprehend the pure and dilute truth of liquid justice coming from her calumniator, and she decided to forego using her scythe of reaping, and leaped at the calm, glowing Godess of light, scratching her with her sharp, malignant nails or pain, causing her to bleed more glorious light and scream in pain.

Trying to hit her with her blue, glorious parasol that was made of cherry blossoms, Yukari swung slowly, powerfully, and gloriously as her perfect pink hair waved in time with her dignified actions, but, despite her wonderfulness, the great treachery of Yutaka had made her unable to hit the malevolent succubus of evil, and after Yukari swung her perfect parasol for the fifth time, Yutaka stabbed the glorious, perfect woman with her sharp, evil wings of demonicness.

However, it was her violence and cruelty that caused her to scream a scream of fright and selfishness, as the pure white blood of goodness had covered her bat-like wings of malignancy, causing her wings to slowly abrogate into the black darkness like an evil ephemeral cloud of darkness. Pulling away from the pure pillar of ivory goodness, Yutaka screamed, "I'm... no... I can't be..."

Yukari fell to the floor, her body gushing her pure and holy life fluid, as Yuyuko's ethereal voice of ultimate destiny told her, "Yukari... Yukari... it's alright... you have the blood of the holy one... it will make sure any evil that touches it will surely die..."

Yukari, with her last strength, looked up to see the screeching Yutaka, who was holding her blood-covered wing with horror as more and more of it joined her true form of pure, black evil darkness. Eventually the white, radiant life-fluid met her flat-chested, unattractive body, and Yutaka cried in agonising pain of egocentricity as she disappeared into the dark night of the blazing Netherworld...

Yukari crawled across the floor, reaching her hand for the white, delicate flower which she had dropped during the battle... her wounds were sending dark agony through her gradually ebbing body, as her blood slowly became red once more, and her hair faded back to ethereal blonde. Her clothes became her beautiful, purple wedding outfit once again, and just as she thought she could reach the perfect white elderberry flower, a gust of wind blew it from her delicate grasp... but suddenly, a silhouette caught the flower. Trying to focus with her blurred, dying eyes, Yukari couldn't identify the tall, perfectly-proportioned, ethereal woman which stood over her, holding her final flower as she said, "It's okay... I'm here now... let's get you home..."

Mayohiga, Hachuurui's House, Five in the evening

Yukari's perfect hearing was muffled by the piercing whistle of injuriousness that had caused her to collapse. Her heart was filled with the liquid doubt that she had lost her battle wavering within her like a delicate dandelion seed in the gentle breeze of summer, that her love had died and that she, too, had died. A strong, masculine voice seemed to whisper into her ear in a seductive, manly manner, "Yukari... please wake up... I know you're still there..."

Yukari recognised the sound... it was the same sensual sound of sexuality that had caused her to journey for her true loving heart's sake... her forbidden love, the one true and loving Dawitsu. Her mind peaked with excitement as she began to think of all the great, beautiful times of love, truth, and fabric-wrapping of true true love had had together, and she proceeded to giggle with sensuality as she felt what seemed to be the soft feeling of a bandage around her perfect thigh.

Opening her eyes, she looked upwards to see that her true love was standing over her, caressing her legs as he pierced her gaze with his perfect, wood-brown eyes. Pausing to allow Yukari to gaze at his perfect, toned, topless body of muscularity, he finally crooned, "Hello, Yukari... it's been a while..."

Swooning as she came to her petit mort, Yukari sat up and grabbed Dawitsu's succulent, tanned pecks, kissing him as passionately as the bee kisses a red, strong rose of sexuality, pressing her large, perfect bosom against his perfect, thick chest. She began to remove her...

[Typist's Notes: No. That is the summary. No. I am not typing this scene of the sex. It lasts about two pages, I am not prepared for this... and... how does Miss Tokage know about the French slang? Especially... that French slang... MON DIEU! Sacrebleau! Par pitié! Au nom de touts de choses saintes! My apologies... it is simply that... I may have found the thing that no human is meant to read... there is the mercy of the fact that I cannot actually read parts of this... ah! Here is where it ends... I'll start this back off here. I am sure the Lizard Woman will not notice...]

Lying in bed together, the two perfect lovers of intimacy and pureness talked softly to one another. Yukari asked, "So... I guess I'm in heaven now..."

"I know I'm in heaven when I'm with you..." Dawitsu said romantically.

"But... we really are dead, aren't we? I died fighting Yutaka, didn't I?" Yukari asked, not sure of the situation, but Dawitsu's pure, strong reasoning gave her security.

"No... we're not. I woke up, thanks to a smart, intelligent, and strangely beautiful lizard woman named Hachuurui..." Dawitsu mused, "She said she took you here and finished what you started... she should still be here..."

"I'm alive, yes. The angels of pure and true love decided to give me another mortal body so I could finish the job of making sure the true love of the world did happen..." Hachuurui explained thoroughly.

Yukari smiled softly, "I... I... thank you, Hachuurui..."

Dawitsu's perfect eyes glanced over to the ethereal lizard, "You... you saved both of us... you're a hero, Hachuurui!"

"Yes, you are!" Yukari added.

Hachuurui's face blushed with pure and innocent, just pride, "Well... you were the one that thwarted Yutaka's great evil... with Yuyuko's help, you've vanquished my eternal enemy..."

Hachuurui's eyes looked over the ethereal, thick, strength-lined muscular body of Dawitsu, and for some reason, the lizard held her head downwards, "My... my job here is done, now... feel free to leave any time..."

Dawitsu saw the pure and loving stare of Hachuurui flying through the air like a delicate bee of goodness floating innocuously to it's pollinator, and felt an uncontrollable urge which made him stand up out of his bed, revealing his full, perfectly nude body in all it's true glory, his fgjfdvlidujnvd,jvfd [Typist's Note: WHAT. IS. THIS. Now I know why Miss Inubashiri did not want to type this herself...] shining gloriously like a majestic rod of power [Typist's Note: Ah, that was actually pretty funny...] at the enamoured Lizard.

He softly held the Lizard, and said, "If you want, you can have me too... you saved my life, and I shall never forget that..."

Yukari's heart filled with pure and unselfish kindness, "Yes, Hachuurui... we'll share Dawitsu, like good friends should! You can also have me whenever you want, too..."

"I love you, Yukari and Dawitsu..." Hachuurui softly mused.

"We love you too, Tokage..." Dawitsu and Yukari said simultaneously, their consciences melding like an ephemeral mixture of true love as Yukari got out of bed, and joined Hachuurui and Dawitsu in a hug of true and loving love...

A book by Tokage Reiketsu

The End

Author's Notes: I... I... I... I... Michel, how's the typing coming along? You've finished it? Oh, good. Oh, you've started the author's notes? You told me you had started the author's notes? Oh, I must have forgotten... hold on, what was I doing? Oh yeah, the final chapter's being typed up, isn't it? Why haven't you done it yet, Michel? You... have? Then, are you typing the author's notes? You started already? Why didn't you tell me?

Typist's Notes: It is useless... she is, as the English say, 'Spaced out'. For some reason, Miss Tokage seems quite traumatised, and I would not be surprised if it was due to Miss Kazami... she seems less frightened this time, though, merely... not there at all. That is how I know she will not notice that I skipped that... sex scene, which was, to add, most horrific...

Reviews for Chapter Fourteen:

Mateyuu Dawitsu: What? That's it? The three of them end up in an OT-Three and live... happily ever after? And why the hell did Yukari and I call Hachuurui 'Tokage'? Someone's got a Freudian Slip... also, boo! You killed off Bat-Yutaka! I was enjoying the fan service, until... guhuuuuugh... you actually went there! You had me naked, with my... um... glowing... rod... of power? Whatever that thing is, you had me completely naked, with that thing out! Wait, why am I so embarrassed, I was probably just holding a glowstick... the last time I checked, my... lower parts didn't glow...

Yukari Yakumo: Oh, yay, one magical threesome! What, you expected me to be tasteful in this review? Why should I when the book itself isn't... but, boy, I took Tokage stealing... oops, I mean, sharing my boyfriend with me pretty well, didn't I? Not that I'd put it past that moron to go for two girls at once, but I certainly wouldn't allow it. And... just as I expected, you... sorry, Hachuurui came back to life and saved the day. Wonderful. Anything more you wanna throw into this? What, are you done? Oh yeah, there's the words 'The End' to prove it. Thank... Kanako for that!

Yutaka Hadekawa: Hooray! My poor, tortured, overly evil self was finally put out of it's misery! Hooray! And... wow, it's a good thing Yukari was okay with the whole 'I can be shared' thing, or the Boss would have been in trouble... that would have been a funny twist ending, don't you think?

Hebiko Bimyouna: Oh? This is it? You seemed in a rush to finish it. I can tell by the resolution. I mean, come on... resurrected friend, comes in and saves Yukari and Dawitsu, gets the girl and guy, becomes the heroine, the end? WHAT?

Yuuka Kazami: Oh, I actually feel bad, now... this was the last chapter? If I knew, I wouldn't have been as harsh as I was with her...

Reisen Udongein Inaba: Yes! It's over! That means I can buy a bunch of copies to burn!

Aya Shameimaru: That goes double for me!

Hong Meiling: Triple for me!

Fujiwara no Mokou: How flammable are these things? If so, I might be interested also... oh, is that you, Jean? It's been a while, wanna talk? Oh, you're about to finish this job? Oh, wonderful, I've wanted to speak with you for a while... oh, you'll finish when I stop my review? Oh, alright, it's over now...

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.