Questions in the Erection Concerns Forum are being answered by Janice M Epp, PhD, a Clinical Sexologist from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. This forum is for questions and discussions about the psychological aspects of Erection problems or erectile dysfunction.

Penis Size/ Erection curvature/ Foreskin partially retracts

I am a 25 year old male of Indian Origin living in NY.
I am engaged and going to get married in India, later this year.

I have a concern on the size of my penis and whether I'll be able to satisfy her/ get her pregnant when the time is right.

1) When flaccid, the size of my penis is no more than 1.5-2 inches. When erect, my penis size from base to head is a little more
than 4 inches. (~4.1 inches). I have been seeing porn all my adoloscent life and know for a fact that my penis size
is much smaller than average. Given its only 4.1 inches long when erect, even the condom doesnt roll over entirely when i tried it some time back.
Given this, do you think ll be able to satisfy her, perform sex and get her pregnant when the time is right?

2)
Secondly, when erect, the head of the penis is NOT exposed entirely but rather only partially, as the foreskin tightly covers the head partially.
And then i have to myself retract the foreskin to ensure the head of the penis is properly exposed and foreskin is entirely retracted.
this itself is a painful process. And due to this, i have noticed that even though my penis is hard when erect, it isnt rock hard and
the angle is 90 degrees (pointing straight) when erect, rather than pointing up.

3)
Is there a way to fix this length and tight foreskin issue by surgery and somehow making my penis go to normal size of 5.5 inches?

I've been masturbating but havent ever had sex with a girl before.
Will this be a problem? Please advise-

First, commercial sex does not depict accurately depict what most men look like, any more than most women resemble movie stars.

It sounds to me like you’ve bought into the myth that you have to have a larger-than-life penis in order to have great sex or to father children. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

Our society does a terrible disservice to men by raising them to think that their penis has to be 10 inches long, hard as a rock and last all night. It’s no wonder that many men feel insecure about their penis. Locker room etiquette dictates no staring, so most straight men have only glimpsed other penis sizes and shapes in commercial sex videos, which generally feature men with large penises. If you think everyone else looks like a male porn star, of course you’re going to feel inadequate!

Another contributing factor to this attitude is that while most men see their penises several times a day during urination, they’re usually staring down at their penis, creating a visual distortion that actually makes it appear smaller than it really is.

Like noses, penises all have the same basic shape, with some variation. Let’s consider a few basic facts. For instance, did you know that you can’t tell the size of a man’s erect penis based simply on what it looks like when flaccid (un-erect)? Most penises erect to between 4 and 6 inches, and there’s not much variation in erection size (with exceptions, of course). However, when flaccid, there is much more variation. Some men’s penises are 1 inch when flaccid (we’ll call these growers), and others are 5 inches (we’ll call these show-ers). BUT: during erection, the 1-inch penis may grow to the same 6-inch erect size as the 5-incher. That’s right; despite their differences when flaccid, they’ll both erect to approximately the same size. Why don’t most of us realize this? Because most of us just don’t get the opportunity to see men when they’re flaccid and then erect. And did I mention shrinkage? When men are cold or nervous, the penis and testicles pull up into the body for protection (“I’m hiding!”). If you see a penis right after it’s been in a cold swimming pool, I guarantee it will not resemble its erect self in any way!

About penis curvature: Some penises are completely straight, some curve up, some curve down, some curve to the left and some to the right. All of these are simply physical variations—like the difference in peoples’ noses. The only time to be concerned about curvature is if your penis curves so extremely that it’s difficult to be sexual with a partner or if it causes you pain. Most of these curvatures are caused by calcification, and they usually go away with time.

If your foreskin doesn't retract easily and this is causing you pain, then you need to see a urologist. In most cases, having a foreskin that doesn't retract should not cause any problems for you unless it's causing pain. Until the age of 10 years or so, only about half of all uncircumcised boys can retract their foreskins. This figure goes up as men approach adulthood; however, some men reach adulthood with a non-retractile foreskin with no problems at all.

Other men, however, may want to make their foreskin retractable. The foreskin can be made retractable by: manual stretching, and/or application of topical steroid ointment (provided by a physician). If you decide to try manual stretching, remember that stimulation can irritate unless you use lots of lubrication.

Just as some women seem to associate having big breasts with being “sexy,” many men spend their lives wishing they had the allegedly perfect porn star penis, and this notion can affect their sexual enjoyment. Certainly, penises are important to sex (perhaps you’ve heard), but great sex really does involve your whole body. In fact, having great, mutually satisfying sex is usually quite the opposite of what you see in those performance-oriented sex videos. Keep in mind that thinking about your performance can be the enemy of enjoying the actual pleasure, letting go and having fun.

Here’s a thought: why not relax, value your penis for the size and shape it is, and be thoughtful about its care and handling. If you do, it will serve you well your whole life.
Best of luck to you and congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Dr. J

Once again, penis size has nothing to do with fertility or sexual pleasure. What's more important is that you and your partner learn about your sexuality and openly communicate about your preferences, etc. If you begin a sexual relationship with open communication, you increase your chances of having a hot, happy sex life together. Dr. J

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