Dissecting the complexities of race

Sunday

Sep 8, 2013 at 4:00 AM

Mike TowerJust My Opinion

On Aug. 28, the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King's Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech, my column had a story about my personal experiences in learning about diversity. If you did not read that column, this one probably won't make a lot of sense. You can find the earlier column at www.blueridgenow.com/miketower.In that earlier column, I discussed the beginning of my personal journey in 1989 toward better understanding the racial divide. In fact, I began to realize how little I had previously considered what it might feel like to function in a society in which you were a minority group member.I specifically discussed attending a diversity training seminar sponsored by my employer, Eli Lilly and Co., involving 20 white employees and 20 blacks. The workshop leader opened the session by posing a question to me: "Mike, when was the last time you woke up in the morning thinking, because I have white skin, certain bad things are going to happen to me today over which I have no control?" Of course, I answered never.Then he posed the same question to a black female, who happened to be a highly regarded Harvard MBA working for our company. I described the long silence before everyone turned toward her to see tears streaming silently down her cheek ... as she whispered, "Every day of my life."I was saddened to hear back from a few readers who thought I was pointing the finger of blame only at the white race when they believe both sides shared blame. I guess they missed the sentence in my article in which I said both sides shared the blame.However, most feedback was positive and supportive. I was a bit surprised not to receive a single email from anyone identifying himself as being black. I also received a few responses wondering exactly what the black young lady in my story feared was going to be done to her by whites because of her skin color. This question is what prompted me to write, as radio commentator Paul Harvey used to say, the rest of the story.I actually had the opportunity to ask this young lady what bad things she expected whites to do to her each day. I was expecting to hear about acts of disrespect or rudeness. However, to my surprise, she said it wasn't any overt acts by whites she was troubled by, but mainly the personal doubts that had been societally imbedded in her psyche.She said she wondered every day whether she had actually earned everything she had achieved. Did she really earn her excellent grades, or did they reflect the efforts of teachers trying to provide a helping hand? Did she get into Harvard strictly on merit, or was it because of race and gender? Was she hired by our employer because of her talent, or in order to meet an affirmative action quota?She also said it was quite clear that many of her white colleagues wondered about her in the same way.It occurred to me then and remains in my mind today: Did the many well-intended steps taken by our elected leaders to level the playing field in an attempt to make up for the horrors of slavery, segregation and prejudice have unintended consequences?Another part of the story I'd like to share is that the leader of the workshop also had us participate in another very powerful exercise. Remember, we had 40 total employees in the seminar that day. They included 10 each of black males, black females, white males and white females. He divided us into two all-white and all-black groups. Each group was instructed to brainstorm and then write down on a white board every word we had ever heard a member of our own race say about the opposite race.Carefully think about the genius of the question: What words have you ever heard someone of your race say about the opposite race? It made the assignment very safe. We weren't writing down what we had ever thought or said — it was what others had said.The program leader did a masterful job of making fun of and debunking the horrible labels used by both races against each other. I don't have space to go into all of the details, but I will say it ended up helping us all understand how stupid, demeaning and ridiculous it is to have so many in both races using or allowing others to apply blanket labels and stereotypes to everyone in the opposite race. The other interesting thing I noticed was that the blacks were very aware of the labels whites used for them, but the whites were less aware of many of those used by blacks to describe whites. Suffice to say, they were equally cruel and hateful. I walked away from that meeting no longer wondering if many in each race are racists. I surely hope future generations will find it in their hearts to judge every person they encounter based on their actions, and remember that we are all members of the very same human race.So, as Paul Harvey would have said, now you know the rest of the story.What do you think?Mike Tower lives in Hendersonville. Reach him at miketower@bellsouth.net.