More Articles

Enlarge ImageRequest to buy this photoStephen Lance Dennee | Associated PressJerry King of Anna., Ill., suffers from multiple sclerosis and no longer can go to the bathroom, bathe or dress himself without assistance from his wife, Pauline.

WASHINGTON — More Americans may wind up helping Mom as she gets older, but a new poll shows the
most stressful kind of caregiving is for a frail spouse.

The population is rapidly aging, but people aren’t doing much to get ready, even though
government figures show nearly 7 in 10 Americans will need long-term care at some point after they
reach age 65.

In fact, people 40 or over are more likely to discuss their funeral plans than their preferences
for assistance with day-to-day living as they get older, according to the poll by the AP-NORC
Center for Public Affairs Research.

Five findings from the poll:

Effect on families

Half of people 40 or older already have been caregivers to relatives or friends. Six in 10 have
provided care to a parent, mostly a mother, while 14 percent have cared for a spouse or
partner.

Overwhelmingly, caregivers called it a positive experience. But it’s also incredibly difficult,
especially for spouses. While 7 in 10 who cared for a spouse said their relationship grew stronger
as a result, nearly two-thirds said it caused stress in their family compared with about half among
those who cared for a parent.

It’s not just an emotional challenge but a physical one: The average age of spouse caregivers
was 67, compared with 58 for people who’ve cared for a parent.

Virginia Brumley, 79, said caring for her husband, Jim, for nearly five years as he suffered
from dementia strengthened their bond. But eventually he needed a nursing home because “he was too
big for me. He was as helpless as a baby,” she said.

Long-term planning

A third of Americans in this age group are deeply concerned that they won’t plan enough for the
care they’ll need in their senior years, and that they’ll burden their families.

Yet two-thirds say they’ve done little or no planning. About 32 percent say they’ve set aside
money to pay for ongoing living assistance; 28 percent have modified their home to make it easier
to live in when they’re older.

In contrast, two-thirds have disclosed their funeral plans.

Anthony Malen, 86, of Gilroy, Calif., said he and his wife, Eva Mae, who has a variety of health
problems, never discussed a plan for caregiving as they got older.

“She doesn’t want anyone in the house. She doesn’t want any help. She fusses about it so much, I
just give up on it. But if it gets any worse, we’re going to have to have it,” Malen said. “I’m
getting older, too.”

Becoming a caregiver

Three in 10 Americans 40 or older think it’s very likely that an older relative or friend will
need care within the next five years.

Just 30 percent who expect to provide that care feel very prepared for the job, while half say
they’re somewhat prepared. But only 40 percent have discussed their loved one’s preferences for
that assistance or where they want to live. Women are more likely than men to have had those tough
conversations.

What does it cost?

Some 53 percent of people underestimate the monthly cost of a nursing home, about $6,900.
Another third underestimate the cost of assisted living, about $3,400. One in 5 wrongly thought a
home health aide costs less than $1,000 a month.

Contrary to popular belief, Medicare doesn’t pay for the most common long-term care — and last
year, a bipartisan commission appointed by Congress couldn’t agree on how to finance those
services, either. But nearly 6 in 10 Americans 40 or older support some type of
government-administered long-term-care insurance program, a seven-point increase from last year’s
Associated Press survey.

What else might help?

More than three-fourths of this age group favor tax breaks to encourage saving for long-term
care or for purchasing long-term-care insurance. Only a third favor a requirement to purchase such
coverage.

Some 8 in 10 want more access to services that help the elderly live independently.

More than 70 percent support respite-care programs for family caregivers and letting people take
time off work or adjust their schedules to accommodate caregiving.

The survey was conducted by telephone March 13 to April 23 among a random national sample of
1,419 adults age 40 or older, with funding from the SCAN Foundation. Results for the survey have a
margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.6 percentage points.