This blog will cover the collision of two cultures - parents and teen children. They don't understand us, and view us as spoilers or walking ATMs (adults with teen malcontents?) We are left wondering what happened to our cute cuddly kids of a few years back, and when they may return. If ever.

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Sunday, May 30, 2010

Right now, Gary's introducing Jennifer, because there is absolutely nothing to watch on TV, to the joys of SNL. I think she loves it (I remember that Gary told me he watched the show on Saturday nights, because he couldn't afford to go out on a producer's salary in North Dakota).

I think tho that some of the skits go flying over her head still, fortunately.

Friday, May 28, 2010

It's been tumultuous week, as Adam kept going back and forth over the latest foster home he landed in.

He was saying he wasn't welcome. I finally talked to the foster mom, who says he is, and she's happy to have him there as long as possible. Which I hope will be until he graduates in two years. Both Gary and I stressed to him, and to Jennifer, that he MUST keep his eye on the ball, which in this case is finishing high school, at Auburn High and keeping with his wrestling, which he's passionate about.

I think it's just dawned on him that IF he becomes an emancipated teen, he'll probably have to work for a living, and probably won't finish school. One can hope that has finally sunk in.

Monday, May 24, 2010

And sometimes that bites us in the butt, as it did this am, when we both dragged ourselves out of bed after watching Lost until early this am.

But unlike other times, when we just watch too much TV and should read a book instead, this time, we planned for it. She at first was going to have me call in sick for her, but changed her mind when she realized that she would have a chance to drive the car to school.

But as we watched first the Lost wrap up, and then the actual Lost (not counting the pilot this weekend, that's coming on 8 hours of Lost) we were glad for the commitment. I think that they ending is good (not as good as MASH) but good nevertheless. I was crying, she was looking sad, a and we'll miss our weird Lost fix every week.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It all started over Gary and I griping at Jennifer for being on her cell phone 24-7, and ended up with - at one point Gary and Jennifer nose to nose yelling at each other, with Jennifer threatening to leave, and Gary snapping back saying "fine go ahead."

Fortunately, neither meant it, and at least Gary apologized. But this fight has been a long time coming. They both are so alike, bull headed and both get their feelings hurt easily. And Jennifer truly hangs on every compliment Gary says (like I did with my dad), and Gary finds it hard to brush off his 16-year-old's rudeness (sort of comes with the territory, but still it hurts).

And then we also started arguing about Adam, and if he didn't get back in school and into a stable abode, she wasn't going to be able to hang out with him any more. That went over well.

In the end, Jennifer and Gary are still under one roof. Jennifer is still allowed to see Adam, at least through this week. And I don't think Jennifer is grounded, tho at one point in the argument, she was.

But I have promised to set her up with a counselor to talk to, who might give her the same advice as mom and dad. But maybe it will seem different NOT coming from one of us.

Monday, May 17, 2010

To him, her life probably seems idyllic -almost Ozzie and Harriet, tho, of course, we're not.

He's finally found a place to stay, and should be back in school next week, finally, and emancipated in a month or two. But still, I know he looks at our rather stable, boring life, and wishes for something else.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The Auburn police officer called me up on the phone Tuesday and at first, I almost brushed him off, figuring he was making a pitch for the police guild or some football game.

But no,the first words out of his mouth were the just this question.

I was stunned, so much so that I don't even recall his last name. Now, for the record, I did know that Adam was officially classified as a runaway after walking out on his foster mom after a tiff, but I figured he'd go back, once he cooled off and they'd patch it up. Apparently not this time.

After living a decade with this family, apparently things are at an end, and Adam doesn't want to live there anymore, but with a coach that's agreed to take him in for 2 months while becomes a legally emancipated teen.

Meanwhile, Jennifer, and for that matter, Gary and myself, feel trapped in the middle as Adam continues to war with foster mom, who is evil incarnate if you listen to Adam. Gary and I aren't quite believing it, and are wondering just how much of this is typical rebellious teen angst, and how much is what Adam claims it to be.

Of course my daughter believes every...word...he says, and has concurred that foster mom is a total bitch.

I'm not so sure. But regardless of the real truth, I told the officer, yes, I know and is there any reason that my daughter shouldn't hang out with the guy? Are you going to haul her in too if she does? The answer was no to both.

But I'm hoping that in the end, Adam will end up with adults he trusts. I'm wondering if being an emancipated teen will really be that...freeing to him.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

And I don't mean onFacebook. And the answer to the FB question is probably "no." However, the Washington Post had a great story and commentary on whether parents are getting cooler, and trying to be their teens friends.

Generally, the comments from the writers and the comments on their posts say, "nope, not meant to be their friends. If you go down that slippery slope you're not doing your job."

Totally agree. And as you see by my post just prior to this, Jennifer and I are close. But I'm not her bff. She has one of those and it's a young girl her own age, whom I'm sure hears about what a horrible mother Jennifer has from time to time, from Jennifer herself.

It's not my job to be her friend. Tho it is nice to actually have her want to be around me once and awhile.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My mom's day card was sweet, and Jennifer said that her friend was specifically jealous of how close we were. Close that is,until I tell her no. It was great to get the card anyway. I'll keep it as a reminder the next time I have to play bad cop.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Jennifer called as I was travelling home Friday to say, could I please get her some new jeans and shoes.

She and her boyfriend Adam were down at Mill Creek Park off Scenic Hill, watching two batches of mallard chicks mix and mingle. Until the daddy duck of one batch started trying to drown one of the younger ducks from the other. And the older chicks (probably about a week or two older) followed suit.

So Jennifer, defender of the underdog (or duck) jumped in the pond to help the younger ducks (which still had slashes of yellow on them). They fled in terror from their huge benefactor into a drainage culvert. The mom of of the younger ducks decided to take offense and attack Jennifer. But at least her babies weren't getting picked on anymore. But Jennifer was covered with mud. Adam was trying to keep an eye on the angry mother duck.

Friday, May 7, 2010

I really want to be left alone on Mother's Day. My boss said this was rude. But he's a guy and just doesn't get it. And I really don't expect my husband to either.

But leave all the Macy's sales where they are. Don't both with Nordies. Just give me an afternoon, to myself, with a nice latte and also my paints if the muse strikes, and just leave me be. For an entire uninterrupted day.

My daughter gets this. But even she won't suggest it to her father.

"That would definitely hurt his feelings," she said.

So I'm just going to have to sneak off and celebrate my own Mother's Day at my own choosing.

Since Gary hadn't made a reservation yet for brunch, I figured we'd be eating at i Hop if I left to him, so I called down to my favorite greasy spoon in Kent, and sure enough they are open on Sunday. Done, we're going there, and then to the track (horse lover, rather than betting lover).

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Not exactly the greeting or goodbye I usually send my daughter off to school with, as she hops out of the car, checks her makeup one last time and makes sure she has her cell phone on her.

This odd farewell for the day came after she got into yet another "she texted, and she texted" fight with another girl. And then a third girl jumped in (who was not close friends with either my daughter or my daughter's friend) to add her two cents. Don't ask me to explain the entire story, because frankly, I lose the thread (texted or otherwise) every time she tells it to me.

Long text short, this girl ended up texting Jennifer that the world would be a better place w/o her and encouraged some of her friends to stalk Jennifer. OK, all of my hubby's (and mine) protective juices just went into overdrive. So on her own, Jennifer when with her boyfriend to the vp of the school, who looked at the texts, which Jennifer saved and promptly suspended the girl for four days. Her parents also were upset and took away her texting plan.

Fine, but when she gets back in school later this week, I've told her b-friend, Adam, to have my daughter's back. He's a wrestler, and while I don't expect him to slap the girl down to the pavement, I consider him deterrent to any ideas this girl may have for revenge.

My hubby also called the vp today, and the vp doesn't think there will be any retaliation. I'm not sure I agree with him

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

It was with a nodding head that I read this report today about the US ranking low in the motherhood score released today. My best friend lives in Denmark, which is near the top of the survey and when Jennifer was young, I tried not to think about how Dawn got a year off with pay, and her job guaranteed when she returned. Oh, and she was also certain of a slot in a high-quality daycare where most of the employees are paid very well, respected and all have masters degrees in childcare.

Sigh. I don't have to worry about that any more, as Jennifer now spends her time after school in sports, with friends or at the coffee shop where she hangs out. Now, she just wants the car keys as often as possible. But I still have friends raising young kids, and I wonder when the US is ever going to get on the ball and get it's act together and support the working moms (no, don't you dare tell me to just stay home if the kids are that important).

Sunday, May 2, 2010

My husband, not so much. He's out weeding the front lawn now. And washing the car. And earlier he was trimming.

On the other hand, Jennifer and I can watch TV and read a book all day long, Sunday or no. We're thinking of soon just playing hooky from the world (one day only) and not telling Gary. He just wouldn't understand.

Alien Nation

About Me (short version)

This blog will chronicle my journey through the tween and early teen years with my middle school daughter. You'll also be reading posts from other parents, who swear their children have been abducted by aliens, and have returned home..different.

A short synopsis of Barbara Clements. I'm a happily married, South King County mom with one daughter, and hope to someday freelance full-time as a writer for National Geographic. But until then, I have a daughter to raise and get through high school, which she'll hopefully leave in four years with a scholarship, my sanity intact and not pregnant.