Video gaming

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Some of the equipment required for video gaming. The console or VCR, the game carts or videos and the controller or remote.

Video gaming is a famous and widespread leisure activity, particularly amongst the young. It covers many different games all based on image, and moving images so called video.... the technical definition of a video game is a game which involves videos.

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Using an old Video Recording of a television show or film on a commercial station, players take it in turns to use the pause button on the remote to freeze the frame while fast-forwarding the commercial breaks. When two successive players stop the same frame the first to punch the other in the face and shout "snap"! wins an item of the losing player's clothing. The first player to die of heat exhaustion from wearing too many cardigans wins.

VCR machines can be modded on the black market to increase the power of their eject mechanisms, allowing them to fire video cassettes at velocities approaching the speed of sound. One player is given the remote, the other a shotgun. The player to destroy the most cassettes without being struck, wins the game. Bonus points are awarded for destroying workout tapes and Keanu Reeves movies.

Whilst some people use nefarious means to play this game on evilpiratetechnology, the true, honest law abiding freedom loving citizen plays it using only VHS technology. One simply selects a film, and all those present elect to down a shot of some form of alcohol when a certain event occurs, preferably one which happens a lot in the given film. For example, drinking on every utterance of the word "Fuck" in Driving Miss Daisy is a poor choice, whereas drinking upon every death in Saving Private Ryan will result in liver failure within the first half hour.

This game is played by one or more players. To play you need one or more TV sets, and one or more remote controllers.

When you play alone, it is mainly based on switching from a channel to another as fast as possible, in a game often referred to as Adbreak Skipping, but a variant named Where on Earth is that Fucking Remote Control! is also popular.

With multiple players, it is funny to have a remote control by player for only one TV set, it is even funnier to have less remote controls than players as player can argue and fight for the remote control. Particularly effective when a football match is on and the players are married.

With multiple TV set and multiple players each player has his own TV set and remote control and there is little or no interaction between players. It becomes funny when remote controls are swapped and each player controls the TV set of another player.

Any combination of number of players, TV sets and remote control per TV set is possible...

This game is usually for professional players, and deals with complicated philosophical concepts such as NTSC, PAL, SECAM, VHS, Betamax, life, fishes and so on. Typically taking the form of an argument over superiority of standards, it has been known to degenerate from a game into a brawl and often results in fatalities.

Amateurs like to play a less risky simulation of the Standards game using fictitious, pastiche concepts such as DiVX 3.11, DiVX 4.12, DiVX 5.02, XViD, RV9, WMV, OGM, MKV, ... and so on. The game is usually played using computers, making it a computer game, which is no longer technically a video game.