The Top Five List Of Lists In Movies

If a movie were to be made about this list, it would be a movie about a list about lists in movies. Obviously, that movie would then have to be included in the list of best movies about lists. Following? No? Anyway, in honour of the release of British hitmen thriller Kill List, Ross McD lists the lists list.

5. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

Bit of a fib, that title. He doesn’t take on the whole world, just seven evil exes. A videogamer’s wet dream, Michael Cera is cast against, ahem, type as a shy, mumbling nerdy teen battling for the affection of Ramona Flowers, when the dope already has the much hotter Knives Chau in the bag. Sadly, some of Ramona’s more recent relationships are nowhere near as interesting as her earlier flings. Honourable mentions to levitating, fireball-spewing Dhalsim-nodding Satya Bhabha, and ‘pretty good’ skateboarder turned ‘pretty good’ action movie star Lucas Lee, but nobody came near Brandon Routh as…

Best entry: #3 – Todd Ingram. The bass guitar duel with the psychic vegan-powered one remains the highlight of the film

4. The Ten Commandments

To Christians, Jews and Muslims, this is probably the most important list of all time. To Buddhists, it’s a pretty good Charlton Heston Movie. Did you know there are actually 13 commandments in the Bible? Jesus started tacking on a few towards the end. That’s right, the ‘miracle guy’, the ‘resurrection guy’ and the ‘walk on water then turn it into wine’ guy was such an attention hog that he tried to rob Moses’ party piece and become the ‘commandments guy’ too. What happened to not coveting thy neighbour’s stuff, huh Jesus? Greedy.

Best entry: #3 – Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Aka: srsly, chillax on Sundays

3. Se7en

And speaking of greed, we come to another religion-inspired list. Personally, I don’t get the seven deadly sins. Murder, rape, making Greedo shoot first don’t make it, yet things like pride and sloth do. Surely God must have been a little proud of Jesus, what with him dying for our sins and all? And sloth? He just told us to chill out on Sundays in the Commandments! He had a lazy Sunday himself during the very first one! Anyway, David Fincher makes superb use of this list, shocking us with each and every entry, even though we know it off by heart.

Best entry: #3 – Sloth. Oh shit! He’s still alive!

2. Schindler’s List

The unions would have had a field day with this guy. Employs underage children; employs people in positions they are not properly trained for; employs ethnic minorities because they’re cheaper; and then doesn’t even pay wages. Seriously though, in an age where everybody is desperate for jobs nowadays, can you imagine how desperate you would have been to get on Oskar Schindler’s payroll? Staff benefits include avoiding genocide.

Best entry: #173 – Leopold ‘Poldek’ Pfefferberg. The holocaust survivor who inspired the novel that inspired the film. Reportedly bugged Spielberg for 11 years until he agreed to direct.

1. Kill Bill (vol 1&2)

We Rosses loves making lists – shopping lists, to do lists, Christmas pressie lists and of course top five lists. However, I doubt, should I feel the need to wreak bloody revenge on the five former colleagues who ruined my wedding AND left me in a coma, that writing each of their names on a piece of paper is completely necessary. While I am forgetful, I think I would probably remember gouging someone’s eye out or chopping someone’s scalp off without having to cross them off a list. But it is the delicious satisfaction Una Thuman’s Beatrix Kiddo takes when pointedly striking through each of the ludicrously-cool codenames of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad that make her such an awesome heroine, and the Kill Bills such awesome films. That piece of paper is exactly the kind of evidence police will use against you, though.

There’s a British film called Kill List which is a definite highlight of the cinema year to date. The list is simple yet vague, the journey through it is intense and the end result is an intriguing mix of horror thrills with unnerving domestic drama. Maybe needs to be discovered before making your list, though.

Haha, nice work, Ross. Some time ago, Kai was on the LAMBcast for a “Roll Your Own Top 5” show and he used this subject for his list. I’m not sure, but I think he shared 4/5 with you here, with maybe High Fidelity subbing in for Ten Commandments.

Yes, great list. The NOC list woulda been great too.
I think I also had Kill Bill, Gremlins and High Fidelity. Can’t remember. Well played, gents. Proof there is a great need and love for a good Top 5!