Friday, May 17, 2013

I apologize for the belatedness of this recap for the season finale of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp. I missed the episode when it originally aired on VH1 in April and have not yet seen it in a re-run. Luckily, however, VH1 posted video of this episode on its website.

The season finale of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp began with 7 of the 8 contestants riding on the bus toward the boot camp site. Not surprisingly, the missing contestant was Dustin Diamond. About Diamond’s absence, Erin Moran, the second most washed-up celebrity on the show, said, “I really didn’t care that Dustin wasn’t there.”

Erin also asked the other cast members whether they thought that her fans would be upset with her for admitted during the previous episode that she only came on the show for a paycheck. The other cast members jumped on Erin for what she had admitted in the previous episode and Tina Yothers essentially told Erin Moran that she let down women for what she had done.

After arriving at the boot camp site, the cast members exited the bus and lined up in front of drill instructor Harvey Walden. Harvey told Erin that he was shocked by her confession in the previous episode, but that he still had faith in her. Tocarra Jones gave Erin a disgusted look while Harvey was talking to her and said in a later interview, “Erin, she frustrates me so bad. Like she is a teammate, 100% when the camera are on. But they turn them [sic] cameras off and she go [sic] home, she doesn’t care.”

Harvey then said to the contestants, “Dustin was only here for a paycheck as well. Now he wanted to get paid in advance for this week’s fit camp [episode]. That didn’t happen. So as a result, he’s not here.”

About Diamond’s antics, A.J. Benza said, “Dustin makes his own problems. You have to trust people. If they’re gonna pay you, they’re gonn a pay you. .. It’s a professional world. These aren’t loan sharks.”

The teams then had separate team meetings. The blue team (i.e., Diamond’s team) went into the mess hall to talk. The team was pissed that Diamond was missing. Brian Dunkelman also mentioned that everyone on his team ate nothing but chicken, drank a gallon of water, and did a lot of cardio during the previous week in an effort to drop body fat.

Erin Moran’s red team convened in the lounge. Her teammate mentioned all of the intense cardio they had done during the previous week and then asked Erin what she had done to lose weight. Erin mentioned that she signed some posters for fans and did short treadmill workouts. Willie Aames and Tocarra were clearly upset with Erin’s lack of effort. Tocarra said that Erin seemed like she didn’t “give a shit.” Her other teammates said that Erin shouldn’t win any grand prize if her team were to win the overall competition; instead, they argued that Tina Yothers deserved Erin’s winning share.

Put on the spot, Erin initially seemed to agree that she didn’t deserve to share in a winning prize. However, when Willie later told the blue team about this plan, Erin said that she hadn’t agreed to it and her teammates eventually dropped the idea. In any event, Tina Yothers said she wouldn't go along with the scheme because she already had her own team.

Diamond eventually showed up at the boot camp and sat by himself in his barracks alone, annoying everyone on the show. Tina Yothers said that Diamond had one episode left to make a mark … “a mark of bullshit.”

A.J. went over to the barracks to talk to Diamond in an effort to convince Diamond to participate. Dunkelman said, “A.J. went to see Dustin while he was on the phone with his lawyer who, by the way, is probably ready to kill himself by now.”

When Diamond saw A.J. enter the barracks, he said, “This is about business. This is about payment … I got to go with what my lawyer says on this.”

A.J. was upset with Diamond and told him that he would get paid. He said, “Let’s just go, it’s a fucking kiddie race … it’s schoolyard shit. Let’s go play … be a man for fucking 25 minutes … come on, man. I’ve got girls running faster than you!” A.J. then stormed out of the barracks, slamming the door on his way out. Diamond eventually wandered over to the lounge where everyone was waiting for him.

In a subsequently filmed interview, Diamond said,

“You know, it’s ‘show business,’ not ‘show charity.’ So you’ve got to take care of business first. … Everyone was pissed off at me, but I came back as a professional to honor my obligation. … I always honor my obligations.”

The red and blue teams lined up for a fitness challenge involving an obstacle course and a tower to climb. Each person had to complete each obstacle. The teams were informed that the team that won the obstacle course would win five "Fit Factor" points.

The teams had to run over logs, climb a net, climb across monkey bars, perform a mud crawl under rope, run through tires, and climb a tower. Erin Moran was unable to run up balance beam log and her team was accessed a one minute penalty. The blue team was accessed 7 minutes in penalties and took 24:13, for a total penalty-adjusted time of 31:13. The red team was accessed only 1 minute in penalties, but took 30:37 to complete the obstacle course, for a penalty-adjusted time of 31:37.

Tocarra was very upset that the blue team won the 5 Fit Factor points, because she thought it was an unfair advantage.

After the challenge, everyone was served dinner and then Harvey Walden showed up at the dinner and walked everyone outside to the woods for a challenge. They met a man who walked across a bed of broken glass and also jumped on the glass. The man challenged everyone to walk across the glass. AJ Benza went across the glass first, followed by Diamond. Eventually everyone walked across the glass.

On the final night before the last weigh-in, Willie Aames and AJ were shown exercising. Erin Moran asked Aames to get off the treadmill so that she could get on the treadmill and was upset when he didn't want to get off. Aames then got off the treadmill and walked up a hill outside. When the blue team was informed that Aames was outside walking, Diamond justified his own laziness by saying, "That's overkill, man. I was tempted to go up the hill with him just 'cause I don't think it would be expected, but that's invading on sleep time and sleep time is very important."

The next morning, a mariachi band woke everyone up so they could do one final workout prior to the final weigh-in. The final workout started with boxing drills involving punching bags, jogging, jumping rope. Diamond whined throughout the exercise, claiming "I can't do it." Next, the contestants had to run while wearing a backpacking contain the exact amount of weight that each individual contest had lost so far in the season. Finally, Sommore and Diamond each had to climb the tower from a workout in the fourth episode. Both were able to successfully climb the tower.

Finally, everyone showed up for the final weigh-in. During Willie Aames's weigh-in, Willie was so satisfied with his performance on the show that he thanked the judges and then told Drill Instructor Harvey Walden that he wanted to give him something. Walden became visibly concerned as Aames took off his pants, but was relieved when he discovered that Willie did so to reveal a creepy tattoo of the drill instruction that Aames had drawn on his leg.

Diamond stepped on the scale and discovered that he weighed 194 lbs and lost 3 pounds. He closed out the season with a total loss of 23 pounds. During the show, Diamond lost 10.6% of his body weight and 11.5% of his body fat during the show.

Erin Moran was the last to weigh in. She gained 1 pound during the final weigh-in, much to the chagrin of her teammates on the red team - her teammates were visibly upset when her poor performance was revealed. Willie Aames and Tocarra Jones both told Moran that they were pissed off at her performance. She lost only 3 pounds during the season. She lost 2.4% of her body weight and 9.2% of her body fat.

After everyone was weighed, Ant revealed the Fit Factor scores for each team, which was calculated by summing the % weight lost and the % body fat lost for each member of each team. Diamond's blue team had a Fit Factor of 96.8, whereas Erin Moran's red team had a Fit Factor of 100.4. Ant then added the 5 Fit Factor points that the blue team won during the final challenge and revealed that the blue team won the competition with a total Fit Factor score of 101.8. When the results were read, the red team appeared to be shocked and it was clear that Toccarra, AJ Benz, and Willie Aames were visibly upset with Erin Moran for costing them the victory, which effectively cost the red team at least $150k in prizes.

After viewing the 2008 Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp show, it is clear that Erin Moran is almost as washed up as Dustin Diamond, the true benchmark of washed-up celebrities!

Dude, you need to update everything and add more to the bunch like - MacKenzie Pihlips - pretty much every former actor from star trek next generation and voyager. I mean Tim Russ, who played Tuvok, is making a fan movie asking people on facebook for donations. If that isnt washed up. - kirk cameron - van damme is a pretty damn washed up loser

You know what? All of these washed up celebs should get together and go on tour all across America for a few months. They can name their tour the "We hired bad managers, now we can't even get on VH1" tour. I would pay no more than one buck to see them box or kill each other in a ring. Now that is entertainment!

You have a funny site, but it's been too long since your last posting. Where are Edward Furlong, Courtney Love, Val Kilmer, Carmen Electra, Daniel Baldwin, David Soul, Jean Claude Van Damme, and several others?