MerryLibrarian's bloghttp://lisnews.org/blog/merrylibrarian
Librarian And Information Science NewsenTrue Stories from a Book Drop Near Youhttp://lisnews.org/true_stories_book_drop_near_you
<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><p>Oct. 25th blog post, <a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a></p>
<p>Book drops. It seems simple, doesn’t it? A name like “book drop” doesn’t leave much room for mystery…you’d think.</p>
<p>A recent poll of librarians has proven otherwise, however. Across the nation, patrons of public libraries have confused a book drop with trash receptacles, a donation box, urinals, chicken coops… The list goes on and on.</p>
<p>While we may never understand how or why this confusion occurs, we do know that the result of patron confusion–though sometimes disturbing–is frequently amusing. So, until the government provides libraries with several billion dollars to launch an education campaign on proper book drop use, we have taken it upon ourselves to provide you with this useful list of book drop dos and don’ts–all based on the true stories that have been sent in from around the world.</p>
<p>1. Situation: You work at a library in the city of Las Vegas, NV. As you approach the book drop, you hear the sound of squawking and scratching.</p>
<p>Don’t…Assume you’re crazy. You may be miles from the nearest farm, but there actually are chickens in your book drop…complete with food and water. Hey, it happens.</p>
<p>Do… Tell your coworkers to fire up the bar-be-que, baby!</p>
<p>2. Situation: Upon opening the book drop, you are pummeled by the stench of garbage. And on top of the rubbish heap in your book drop? A used maxi pad.</p>
<p>Don’t…Toss your cookies into the book drop. You’d only have to clean that up, too.</p>
<p>Do…Consider dumping the contents of the book drop into the yard of your most obnoxious patron. While you daydream about this, fetch your rubber gloves and trash bag, and hope that the old saying, “what goes around, comes around” is true.</p>
<p>3. Situation: Under all of the returned books, you find a photo album with a note scribbled across the front: “My best return.” You open it and discover it’s a wedding album…with the head of the groom cut out of every picture.</p>
<p>Don’t… Display the album on your library’s “recommended reading” table.</p>
<p>Do…Hand a picture of the bride to your single coworker and say, “Hey, this hottie’s single.”</p>
<p>4. Situation: Every book you pull out of the book drop has a Breath Right strip stuck to it.</p>
<p>Don’t… Put your “Reduce Reuse Recycle” mantra into practice.</p>
<p>Do… Use hand sanitizer to strip the strips. That stuff works like a charm in so many sticky situations!</p>
<p>5. Situation: Mixed in with the regular DVDs in the book drop is a DVD of hardcore porn…with instructional diagrams stuck to the front cover.</p>
<p>Don’t… Shout across the library to your coworker, “Dude! That video you wanted came in!”</p>
<p>Do… Use copious amounts of hand sanitizer after you toss this special find into the trash.</p>
<p>6. Situation: Because the book drop at your library is both ancient and enormous, you are forced to crawl inside of it in order to get to the books in the back corner that have fallen out of the cart. While you are inside, a patron deposits his lunch leftovers–including an unfinished soda and partially eaten sandwich–into the book drop. You emerge, covered in turkey and Diet Coke, and face the culprit.</p>
<p>Don’t…Expect an apology. It’s your fault anyway. You were the one on all fours inside the large receptacle marked “BOOK DROP.” Clearly you had it coming.</p>
<p>Do… Give the patron a big hug and thank him for his generosity.</p>
<p>And our all time favorite find in a book drop is…</p>
<p>7. Situation: The police are called after a 13-year-old boy sets off motion sensors when he “falls” through the book drop slot and into the library after hours.</p>
<p>Don’t…Forget to take a picture of this memorable event!</p>
<p>Do…Consider setting up raccoon traps inside the library. Hey, if a teenage boy can get in, who knows what other wildlife is wandering the stacks at night!</p>
<p>***See <a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a> for photos of the book drop through which the kid "fell"!</p>
<p>* baggies of doggie poo</p>
<p>* car keys (how did the patron drive home…?)</p>
<p>* Black widow spider</p>
<p>* a birth certificate</p>
<p>* money (our favorite!)</p>
<p>* pay check</p>
<p>* the flowers the library had just planted</p>
<p>Send in your stories at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a>!</p>
<p>Attention! The Merry Librarian is looking for stories to feature in an upcoming theme-based series. If you have any true stories about weddings or wedding photography taking place in your library, send them in! Your story could be published on our site! Email us at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a>!</p>
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<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><p>The following is another story from The Merry Librarian. Once again, this true story is an example of patron expectations for a librarian’s abilities. As bizarre requests go, this one is definitely a strange need for information. And we’re just curious…why is it that when a patron needs something complicated and bizarre, they always want it within 24 hours? Just curious....</p>
<p>“Here’s a situation I ran into yesterday that I thought you might find amusing…it falls under the “librarians should know everything about everything” assumption that much of the general public seems to have. A man walked into our branch yesterday and asked me the following questions:</p>
<p>“If something were translated from English into Mayan hieroglyphics into Egyptian hieroglyphics, would someone from Iran who speaks Hebrew be able to understand it?”</p>
<p>Umm…I’m thinking not.</p>
<p>“Well, then, could you translate it for me so they could understand it?”</p>
<p>…Why yes, of course I happen to be fluent in ALL those languages. (I am a librarian, after all.)</p>
<p>“Well, do you have a book that translates Mayan hieroglyphics into Egyptian hieroglyphics into Hebrew?”</p>
<p>I’m thinking not…but I’ll check anyway just to appease you…Nope, just as I suspected. Nothing.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you have any books that do that?”</p>
<p>I don’t think there is a book anywhere that does that.</p>
<p>“Well, what can you do? I need it done tonight.”</p>
<p>…Luckily, I it was close to the end of my shift and I was able to pass this patron along to my unsuspecting coworkers…who had no idea what they were walking into and may not be very happy next time they see me…”</p>
<p>- “Julia” from Fountain, CO</p>
<p>Check out more hilarious true stories at <a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a>!<br />
Send in your own true stories at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a></p>
</div></div></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomyextra field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above"><div class="field-label">Taxonomy upgrade extras:&nbsp;</div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/22">Cool Sites</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/taxonomy/term/25">Public Libraries</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/33">Must Read Stories</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/taxonomy/term/41">Librarians</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/60">Humor</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/www_merrylibrarian_com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a></div></div></div>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:01:36 +0000MerryLibrarian34934 at http://lisnews.orghttp://lisnews.org/lost_translation_crazy_reference_questions#commentsRebel Librarians? Yes, please!http://lisnews.org/rebel_librarians_yes_please
<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><p>The following is our most recent Story of the Week from The Merry Librarian (<a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a>), dated Oct. 11th, 2009. A new story is posted every week on our site. Be sure to check us out!</p>
<p>"Rebel Librarians? Yes, please!"</p>
<p>Library patrons are, by nature, very delicate clientele. They enter our doors with all kinds of requests and needs, but we, being the stodgy librarians we all are, sometimes forget that they are to be treated with absolute sensitivity. Sometimes, we blunder. We inadvertently step on someone’s toes with cold-hearted requests such as, “Please use headphones when listening to your death metal music on your laptop,” or “We’d appreciate it if you’d leave your flask of whiskey at home next time.” And we may slip up occasionally and ask difficult and alarming questions, such as, “What’s the title of the book you’re looking for?”. But hey, we’re only human…right?</p>
<p>Librarian: What can I do for you?</p>
<p>Patron: Can you check to see if a book is in your library?</p>
<p>Librarian: Sure! What book are you looking for?</p>
<p>Patron: I knew you were going to ask that! I just had it…and when you asked me that I forgot it right away!</p>
<p>…pause…</p>
<p>Librarian: Oops…sorry about that, is there anything you know about the book that I can possibly use to find the title?</p>
<p>Patron: No! You shouldn’t have said anything!</p>
<p>Librarian: …</p>
<p>Conclusion: She remembered the title had ”wind” in it, and it was by the same author as Misty. “Something about A Winded Friend.“ It was King of the Wind. In spite of my terrible faux pas of making her spontaneously forget titles by talking to her, I was able to deduce the appropriate title and provide her with the book she was seeking.</p>
<p>Another thing librarians sometimes forget is the simple fact that we are, above all else, librarians. Therefore, we must live up to the stereotype of too-tight buns, wool skirts, grandma shoes, and beaded glasses chains. Under no circumstances are we allowed to vary from this appearance: if we did, patrons might not recognize us, or may confuse us for things such as bartenders, nannies, or psychologists. We owe it to our patrons to minimize confusion about our professions. Oh, we also owe it to them to have the answers to everything…</p>
<p>Today I was working at the library and this is the jewelry I was wearing: Two “permanent” earrings in each ear, one empty piercing in each ear lobe (sometimes I forget to put my “fancy” earrings in…or maybe I just don’t want to!), and one nostril screw on the right side of my nose.</p>
<p>So a patron was seeking assistance from me. She wanted me to provide her with an internet directory, much like a telephone directory, that listed websites for specific companies. When I tried to explain to her that, to my knowledge, this doesn’t exist because the contents could change on a daily basis, she couldn’t believe that a print version of the internet was not available! So she gave me specific terms to search, which I did to please her, and then she said:</p>
<p>“I don’t know why someone would bother wearing an earring in their nose, if they aren’t going to put them in their ears where they belong!”</p>
<p>I calmly responded (and I’m totally not lying):</p>
<p>“The book your looking for does not exist and it is a waste of time to continue to search for one. My choice of jewelry is not any of your business. Is there something else I can do for you today, or are we finished here?”</p>
<p>She made me show her the computer books…..</p>
<p>We’re glad these stories were sent in so we could share them with librarians everywhere who may have inadvertently forgotten their rightful place in the universe as quiet, unfashionable folk whose sole purpose is to serve the masses. We hope you find these stories as helpful as we did!</p>
<p>Do these stories remind you of something that happened to you while working in a library? Send them in! Your story could be published on our site…and may even receive the honor of being featured as a Story of the Week!</p>
<p>Attention! The Merry Librarian is looking for stories to feature in an upcoming theme-based series. If you have any true stories about weddings or wedding photography taking place in your library, send them in! Your story could be published on our site! Email us at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a>.</p>
</div></div></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomyextra field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above"><div class="field-label">Taxonomy upgrade extras:&nbsp;</div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/22">Cool Sites</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/taxonomy/term/25">Public Libraries</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/41">Librarians</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/taxonomy/term/51">Internet</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/68">Friday Funnies</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/taxonomy/term/94">Friday Time Killers</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/taxonomy/term/115">Blogging</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/merry_librarian">The Merry Librarian</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/www_merrylibrarian_com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a></div></div></div>Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:18:14 +0000MerryLibrarian34903 at http://lisnews.orghttp://lisnews.org/rebel_librarians_yes_please#commentsAnother Day, Another Taserhttp://lisnews.org/another_day_another_taser
<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><p>The following is posted from <a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a> from our Story of the Week archives, dated Oct. 4th, 2009. Check out the site for all of our stories!</p>
<p>"Another Day, Another Taser"</p>
<p>Just in case you haven’t gotten the memo, we no longer live in the cheerful, black-and-white world of “Leave It To Beaver.” The streets aren’t even clean anymore, much less safe. Where the public library was once a quiet, quaint place for study and leisurely reading, it has now become a strange mix of internet cafe/detention hall/day care/reading room/homeless shelter. Don’t get us wrong–we aren’t complaining (too much)! The library is supposed to be for everyone, and we gladly open our doors to any person who may walk through them.</p>
<p>But let’s face it: the whole “libraries are for everyone” thing means we get a lot of unsavory people stumbling past our desks everyday. And with them, we get a whole slew of uncomfortable situations. (It is the Merry Librarian’s humble opinion that librarians everywhere should be considered for the Nobel Peace Prize.) But the true heroes of the library are easily the library security guards. They undoubtedly see the worst. Not only do they get the porno freaks and drunks, they get the screamers, irate parents, gangsters, predators, thieves, liars, abandoned children, squatters…you name it.</p>
<p>And so, when this story slid across our desk, we felt it was our duty to share it with you. This is one of those rare Security Nightmare stories where the “good guy” not only prevails–he kicks butt. (Or, in this case, gets to watch that butt get tased a time or two!) We even think that good ole boy Beaver Cleaver would find some satisfaction in this one!</p>
<p>So it’s not easy being security at the public library. I don’t care what anyone says. The library lets anyone enter the building, which is great and precisely the point of the public library, but it also invites the riff-raff. And who gets the riff-raff? Yep, I get the riff-raff.</p>
<p>Amidst all the drunks and pedophiles, however, sometimes justice does prevail. One such occasion occurred just the other day, when one of our patrons who regularly requires a great deal of my time finally ran out of luck.</p>
<p>He was just hangin’ out as usual, reeking of pot with bloodshot eyes and pants drooping so low I knew the print on his boxer shorts. He was talkin’ up the underage girls in our computer lab and probably waiting for a drug deal, and this is where I came in. I approached him as he was disrupting other patrons with his loud profanity. I asked him politely to keep his voice down, and reminded him that he knew he couldn’t use that sort of language in the library.<br />
As is his usual behavior, he directed some of his profanity at me.</p>
<p>“F*&amp;$ you”, he says, to which I replied, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go outside and take care of this”, he says.</p>
<p>I replied, “You know the drill. Either you leave now, or I call the police. You choose.”</p>
<p>Well, he chose to continue to heckle and taunt me, and I chose to call 911. He stood right in front of me at the desk staring me down for the next few moments before the cops arrived. They showed up earlier than usual, which he was not expecting. He hurriedly exited the building, but the cops saw him leaving and asked him to stop.</p>
<p>He refused, and the tasers were deployed. I watched with secret glee as he was tased into a state of reasonableness. First when he refused to stop, next when he refused to be handcuffed, and lastly when he refused to get into the cop car he was tased. The policemen knew him by name. They had done all this before.</p>
<p>After all that I filed a report, but not much else happened. All in a days work at the public library.<br />
It is comforting to know that sometimes the good guy does finish first…</p>
<p>-”Jeff” the Security Guard</p>
<p>Submit your stories to us at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a></p>
<p>Attention! The Merry Librarian is looking for stories to feature in an upcoming theme-based series. If you have any true stories about weddings or wedding photography taking place in your library, send them in! Your story could be published on our site! Email us at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a>!</p>
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<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><p>The following is a post from The Merry Librarian (<a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a>) dated Sept. 27th, 2009. Check out the website for all postings!</p>
<p>"Tough Love from a Tough Dad"</p>
<p>This week’s Story of the Week is one of the rare stories that is genuinely heartwarming (though we’re sure there are more out there!). As librarians–as with any public service profession–we so often see the sad and traumatic family interactions. It is refreshing to witness powerful and positive relationships like this one. Thank you, “Diane”, for this great story!</p>
<p>I work at a small library in an area of town that tends to house the lower-economic demographic. It is not unusual for things to be stolen from our library on a regular basis–most frequently our DVDs. One day, I was at the reference desk when a man came in with a young, teenage boy. The man looked pretty haggard. He had tattoos everywhere (even a cross between his eyebrows! Ouch!) and lots of piercings. He looked like he’d had a pretty hard life. When he came up to the desk, he set a very tall pile of DVDs in front of me–at least 20 DVDs.</p>
<p>“I found these in my son’s room,” he said. “He didn’t check them out. He stole them.”</p>
<p>I didn’t quite know how to respond, so I (rather stupidly) said, “Oh. Okay. So none of them are checked out?”</p>
<p>“No, ma’am,” he answered. Then he knelt down on the ground so that he was eye to eye with me. His son knelt beside him, looking deeply humiliated and angry.</p>
<p>“Listen,” the man said quietly. “I spent the first ten years of my boy’s life in prison. I screwed up a lot when I was younger, and I’m not proud of the man I was.” He put his arm around his son. “I want so much more for my boy than I had. I want him to be a man of integrity. So I brought him with me today because I wanted him to be accountable for what he’d done. Son, do you have anything to say?”</p>
<p>The boy looked at the floor and mumbled an apology at me.</p>
<p>I thought things would end there, but I was wrong. The dad continued talking.</p>
<p>“I am really proud of my son, ma’am. You need to know that. I love him so much more than anything in the world. He’s a great kid. A really great kid. I just feel bad that I was such a bad example to him. He has made some decisions lately that reflect how much I failed him, and I regret that. But I love him. I want him to be a better man than me.”</p>
<p>He then looked at his son, who had tears in his eyes, and said, “I love you, son. I love you.”</p>
<p>Then, the boy who had looked so tough and stubborn when he’d walked in, put his head on his dad’s shoulder and cried like a child. His dad held him, and wiped away a few of his own tears.</p>
<p>It was the most powerful thing I’ve ever seen. I, too, had teared up and had to fight to keep my voice steady as I thanked them both for their honesty. I told the boy that he was welcome to come back and get a library card when he was ready, and I returned all of the DVDs. They left, and I have never seen either of them again…but I will never forget them.</p>
<p>-”Diane” from Colorado</p>
<p>Submit your stories to us at: <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a></p>
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<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><p>If you work in a library, you know that the most outrageous, unbelievable, disgusting, heartwarming things happen in libraries every day. Librarians receive the most <strong> outrageous reference questions </strong>, witness incredibly <strong> awkward patron interactions </strong>, and overhear <strong> hilarious conversations </strong> every day. </p>
<p>Now there is a website designed exclusively for <strong> librarians to share the true stories of all the crazy things that happen in libraries! </strong> The Merry Librarian (<a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a>) is hilarious, heartbreaking, outrageous, and down-right entertaining to anyone who has ever worked in a library. </p>
<p>Check it out today, and send in your own outrageous stories! </p>
<p>The Merry Librarian<br />
True Stories from a Library Near You...No "Shh!"<br /><a href="http://www.merrylibrarian.com">www.merrylibrarian.com</a><br />
submit your stories at <a href="mailto:submit@merrylibrarian.com">submit@merrylibrarian.com</a></p>
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