Norman [Eric Idle]: Is your wife a..."goer"... eh?
Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge!
Know what I mean? Say no more...Know what I mean?Monty Python's Flying Circus

Norman [Eric Idle]: A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat,
eh?.Monty Python's Flying Circus

Mr. Praline [John Cleese]: It's not pining. It's passed on.
This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and
gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff.
Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to
the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down
the curtain and joined the choir invisible. THIS IS AN EX-PARROT.Monty Python's Flying Circus

Barber [Michael Palin]: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Barber: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Mounties: He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Barber: I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesday I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesday he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Barber: I cut down trees, I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Barber: I cut down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear Papa!!

Mounties: He cuts down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders...and a bra?!

Barber: I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa!!Monty Python's Flying CircusThe Lumberjack Song

Guidance Counsellor [John Cleese]: Our experts describe you
as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking
in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour,
tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas
in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in
chartered accountancy they are a positive boon.Monty Python's Flying Circus

Michelangelo [Eric Idle]: Good evening, Your Holiness.
Pope [John Cleese]: Evening, Michelangelo. I want to talk to
you about this painting of yours, The Last Supper. I'm not happy
about it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took me hours.
Pope: Not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Is it the jello you don't like?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: It does add a bit of colour, doesn't it. Oh, I
know, you don't like the kangaroo.
Pope: What kangaroo?
Michelangelo: No problem, I'll paint him out.
Pope: I never saw a kangaroo.
Michelangelo: Uh, he's right at the back. No sweat, I'll make
him into a disciple. All right?
Pope: That's the problem.
Michelangelo: What is?
Pope: The disciples.
Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope: No, it's just that there are 28 of them.Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Reg: All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation
and medicine and education and irrigation and public health
and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order
... what have the Romans ever done for us?Monty Python's Life of Brian

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: Fuck off! We're the People's Front of Judea.Monty Python's Life of Brian

Monty Python: Monty Python's Flying
Circus (1969-1974) was a BBC television comedy series conceived, written
and performed by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric
Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. The Monty Python team also made
a series of movies including Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975),
Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979), Monty Python Live at the Hollywood
Bowl (concert movie 1982) and Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983).