Silentmagi wrote:Maybe Rimmer's a long... long, long, long lost decendant of the Hellsing line. Barring that, they've had Red Dwarf episodes where members of the crew have gone back in time. Aka - Rimmer being his own father.

Lister's his own father, but I get the idea.

Rimmer being from a branch of the Hellsing line is one of those ideas that's just wrong enough to work.

I'm sure I could fudge the science to get them together; RD is great for fudging science. ("So what is it?" "It's a magic door." "Oh, why didn't you say so?") But there'd have to be some kind of narrative reason for them to get together, and I'm not sure the shows would mesh that well...

RawSteelUT wrote:I'd love to see how a Transformers/Hellsing crossover went, simply because Alucard VS Galvatron would just be epic.

A Transformers appearance is already in the works. (Mind you, for much later.)

As long as you're not using that vagina-faced monstrosity from the Micheal Bay film, I'm interested.

No, no. G1 all the way.

That's good at least. Hell, even the Armada/Energon designs are tolerable, but what they're doing for this new movie is unforgivable. Not only Megatron, but they screwed up Starscream as well. Is is SO hard for Hollywood not to piss all over our memories?

Well, I'm just throwing this out there, but for some very later appearence, I support a HellsingmangaandorOVA/Hellsingseries crossover, with the differing personalities and colour schemes.... and the idea of having two of everyone is a great oppertunity. And it will allow you to finally get rid of Incognito, for good.

This might seem wierd but I was watching TV earlier then I got the idea Hellsing/ the Addams Family? I can think of Integra's desk being piled up with reports of wierd activities. Then having to send Alucard over just to get rid of all the complaints that she's getting. How would they react to a vampire visiting?

An apple a day will keep anyone away, If you throw it hard enough.
- Stephen Colbert

Inspired by a brief run through ASHN's archives, some browsing on Youtube, and a utter lack of caffiene.

Hellsing/Rocky Horror Picture Show - Or better known as Rocky Hellsing Picture Show. While I'm not surprised that no one has suggested this, I still think it would be a fun thing to see. I mean, could you not just see Alucard singing "Sweet Transvestite", and having a real time messing with two humans' heads?

Or maybe Integra would be better for that one? *hides from Erin-Senpai and the entire Hellsing Organization* GOMEN!

Darksong: o.o I completely forgot I was wearing pants
Darksong: *glares at cats* YOU ARE NOT ME! STOP TRYING TO USE MY COMPUTER AND CHAIR
She who rides in single file to hide her pie ~Reyome
I wasn't aware we needed proof that Andrew was, in fact, crazy. I've been aware of this for years. ~Lord Massacre
Muah ha ha ha. Now with your real name I can do creepy stalker things to you. ~Xuanwu

Integra Fairbrook Wingate Ketchum entered the house, a nervous smile on her face. She was excited about the task given to her by Professor Dorneaz, but at the same time, the mere thought of leaving home frightened her. Would she be safe all alone out in the world? Would she be a good trainer? Would she do the professor and her father proud?

Such thoughts were weak, however. Of course she would excel. She always had, in everything she did. At least, that's what she told herself.

She found her father in the living room, reading the newspaper as he always did around this time. Arthur Ketchum was a regal looking man, his hair grey, his face hard from a long, full life. He wore his dark three-piece suit with class, looking at the same time fearsome and accessable, both of which he could be as the need arose.

"F-Father?" Integra stammered, straightening out her shirt as she did.

Arthur looked up from his paper at his only daughter. "Integra?" he asked. "What's the matter?" He folded his paper closed and set it on a table near him. "You look like you have something important to tell me."

Integra gulped hard. His cool blue eyes were staring at her, boring into her the way they always did when she had his full attention. She resisted the urge to cower away in a corner, cleraing her throat instead so she could continue. "I... I went to the Pokemon Research Lab today," she announced.

"Y-Yes, I um..." Integra bit her lip nervously, fear building up inside her. He would be angry when he heard the rest, she just knew it. "I met Proffesor Dorneaz, and he asked me to h-help him gather information on Pokemon. He gave me a Pokedex and everything..." She showed her father the small, PDA-like device, which was showing an entry for a small, red, eight-eyed Pokemon named 'Alucard.'

"I see..." Her father's voice was neutral as he looked at the Pokedex, his left hand stroking his beard thoughtfully. "And I assume this means you'll be leaving home for your journey?"

"Y-Yes, father." Integra's heart beat faster and faster by the moment. There was no way he was going to let her do this.

"Integra," her father began, looking calm and collected as ever. "Pokemon are not just some hobby. They're a very important part of our world. It is important that you understand the large responsibility you'll be taking upon your shoulders in this quest of yours." Then, his cool gaze cracked slightly, and he flashed her a smile. "I'll not have any child of mine doing anything half-way."

Integra smiled back at her father. She couldn't believe it; he was going to let her go! "O-of course not, father!" she exclaimed. "I'm fully committed to this! I even have my first Pokemon to help me!" She pulled out a Poke ball from her belt and pushed the button on the front. Immediately, a small bundle of red fur with eight eyes leaped from the ball and crawled onto Integra's shoulders.

Arthur let out a hearty laugh. "He seems to like you," he said proudly. "That's good, at least. Now I know you won't be alone." He leaned back in his chair and smiled softly at his daughter. It had been quite hard, raising her without a mother. The lack of maternal influence was clear in the way she dressed and spoke: she was a tomboy if ever there was one. However, he could never deny just how fiery she was, just like the woman he'd promised himself to so many years before.

"F-father?" Integra asked in a soft voice. "Are you okay?"

Arthur cleared his throat and nodded softly, chucling at himself as much as at his daughter. "Don't mind me, Integra," he told her, his voice warm and assuring. "I was just thinking... Your mother loved Pokemon as well. It had been her dream to set up a Poke Center to help trainers - like yourself - take better care of their little friends. I can't help but think of her when I see your eyes. I can tell you love Pokemon just as much as she did."

Integra blushed deeply and lowered her head. It wasn't every day she was compared to her mother so positively.

Of course, the dramatic moment was ruined by Alucard, who yawned in boredom and jumped off Integra's shoulder, running on all fours to her room.

"Looks like your friend is tired," Arthur managed through a laugh. "You should get some rest too. Tomorrow will be a long day for you. And honestly, I..." Arthur paused a moment, getting up from his chair and walking toward Integra. He hugged his daughter tightly, looking down at her. He didn't even try to hide the tears in his eyes. "I'd like to send you off with a proper goodbye, my beautiful Integra..."

Father and daughter simply stood there, embracing one another, glad to be in eachother's company. She would miss him, as he would her. But both knew that Integra would be far better for it.

"You know, you always have a home here, Integra," Arthur told his daughter.

Integra coughed again, resting in her bed as she struggled to breathe. Her once golden tan skin was now sickly pale, and her breathing was raspy. Four months ago, she had started coughing and wheezing, her normally impeccable health starting to fade. Now, she was at death's door, waiting for this cursed disease to finally take her. She would die at the age of 25, without having married or produced an heir, because of this plague, this Grey Death.

The irony hurts, Integra thought, her lips pursed flatly as she tried to resist falling asleep. I've battled the undead for all my life, been invincible to them, and now a plague comes to take me. God, why have you turned your back to me...

Alucard entered the room for the tenth time this day, going right throug the door as he always had. Normally a bother, her vampires had become a blessing. With her infection, she woudln't dare let anyone near her. The thought that she might infect another with the disease revolted her, but the lonliness would surely have driven her mad had it not been for Seras and especially Alucard.

"Have you thought about it?" Alucard asked. His normally playful tone had left him long ago. He sounded mournful, frustrated and helpless, watching her die slowly, offering her an escape, only for her to swat the life raft away.

"The faith that abandonned you!?" Alucard snapped. Integra's stubbornness, even in death, was getting under his skin. "This plague doesn't effect any of the ones you've hunted throughout your life! It only affects humans! It only affects you!" Tears of blood began to run down his cheeks, as it did every day. He could sense the deterioration of her body, could see the disease eating her from the inside. Seeing someone he loved so much suffer was beginning to affect him.

"Alucard..." Integra began, her voice barely audible. "I can't. If I were to do this... I..."

"You would be able to continue fighting," Alucard countered. "You would be able to keep Hellsing from collapsing, as all organizations do when they've lost their leader. You'd be able to keep me in line..." Not that he wanted to bring humanity to their knees anymore. The desire for control had left him as he saw this woman's love of humanity, the sincere desire to keep the lot of them safe. That wonderful, kind woman that only he could see beneath her hard exterior. The flower withering before his eyes.

"Please," Alucard begged. Integra looked at him, her hazy eyes widening as she absorbed what he just said. Had the plague truely warped her mind? Or was he... Desperate? Staring into her eyes, he continued to plead. "I... I don't know what I would do if I lost you... You're a strong, willful, determined, decisive, beautiful woman... You captured me from the day I met you, took my heart in a way that Abraham could never dream of. I'll do anything you ask... Just don't let yourself die like this..."

Integra bit her lip, her stomach wretching even more than it already had been. Alucard had always been a man who hid his feelings beneath the facade of insanity. Crazy like a fox rather than simply crazy, he was. To see him so open, so vulnerable. The sight of her crying vampire tugged at her heart, making her question her resolve for the millionth time since she had become bedridden.

"Alucard, I'm sure a cure will..." she started, her voice softening as she tried to comfort him.

"A cure!? Everyone knows there's a cure!" Alucard shrieks. "The United Nations hoards it for themselves, giving it only to those who offer them more control of their nation. The queen and prime minister will continue to refuse this bribery... Even as the people you sought to protect die in the streets!"

Integra knew that Alucard was right. British sovereignty was at stake. A few thousand dead meant little compared to the destruction of the country. There was no real justification, and the thought of leaving Alucard free was as great an evil as becoming a vampire herself.

Weiging the two choices, Integra made her decision.

Meanwhile...

Seras Victoria blinked several times at the man on the other side of the conference table. Walton Simons was a large man, she knew, but in person, the black-clad man seemed beyond enormous.

"What," Seras asked, "does the head of an American disaster relief agency want with us? And why did you ask for me specifically?"

"Let's cut to the chase," Simons insisted, his solid blue eyes gazing at her intently. "We both know why the secret organization Hellsing has been so inactive these last few months. Your leader is dying."

"You know more than you should," Seras said, her arms folded over her chest. "Again, what does this have to do with your being here?"

"It's very simple," Simons explained. "You and the operative named Alucard are... Unquestionably effective. Just what we need. You see, a terrorist by the name of J.C. Denton has eluded us for some time. He's responsible for the deaths of several FEMA workers and UNATCO agents. We're at the end of our rope with Mr. Denton's antics, and we need someone who can match up to him."

"Exactly. We know that you deal with the more... Unique menaces of this country. What I'm proposing is this: Your cooperation in exchange for enough Ambrosia vaccine to treat and immunize your entire organization. A fair offer, I think."

It was times like that that made Seras angry at herself for not being able to read minds like her Master. She could tell that Simons was hiding something, but what, she couldn't tell. She knew she needed time.

Simons smirked and reached into his coat, pulling out a business card and handing it to her. "Please respond soon. J.C. Denton is in Hong Kong at the moment, and while we know you don't normally operate internationally, we don't know where else to turn."

"I'll call you within the next 24 hours," Seras assured him. "Now, if you would be so kind as to follow Walter outside? I do not believe Sir Integra would appreciate strangers in her home."

"Of course, Miss Victoria." Simons rose to his feet as Walter opened the door to the conference room, bowing respectfully.

With that, Walter led Simons out of the room, and Seras slumped into her chair. With half of Hellsing suffering from the plague, she was the most senior active officer, and responsible for tending to meetings while Integra was infirm. The stress was starting to affect her; there wasn't a moment that went by that she didn't second guess herself. Was she sending too many soldiers out? Too few? Was the occaisional Ghoul worth infecting even more soldiers with the Grey Death? She never thought herself much of a leader, and she couldn't help but wonder if she was handling this incredible responsibiltiy properly.

"Took you long enough, the new guy is driving us all crazy," Cameron berated House as he stepped off the elevator. House just smirked with amusement at the fact that this hospital couldn't function without him, then limped off the elevator.

"New guy's an EDP. He was brought in last night," Cameron said, walking next to House and looking at a case file. "Physical strength is incredible - we had to tie him down to keep him from attacking us. Anemic, hasn't eaten or drank anything, pinkish teeth, bloodshot eyes, thinks he's a vampire, and severe halito-"

"Wait a second." House stopped abruptly and turned to Cameron, half-amused and half-shocked. "'Thinks he's a vampire?' I'm beginning to think you save the crazy patients just for me."

"If I did that, more than half of our patients would never leave the Psych Ward," Cameron groaned, earning a wider smirk from House. "Besides, I felt like I should warn you. He almost bit Chase, and like I said, we had to restrain him. It looks like he filed his teeth on purpose."

"Fun!" House declared, taking the case file from Cameron. She looked a little shocked at his willingness, and even more concerned when he immediately started toward the patients' ward.

"You're going to meet up with him? We still have to do DDX! We can't treat this guy yet!" Cameron said, masking her fear of the new patient.

"Who says I'm gonna treat him?" House called over his shoulder. That didn't make Cameron any less worried. The last thing this patient needed was House's caustic bedside manner. She had every reason to be afraid; he had scratched Chase with his teeth, and even if he hadn't bitten down, he had left pretty deep marks. If he got to House... She rushed over to House and grabbed his arm.

"Trust me, I know what you're thinking, but this is the last patient you want to provoke," Cameron pleaded.

"Oh, please. This guy's as much of a vampire as I am. As long as Chase doesn't go rabid or start raiding the freezers downstairs, I think I can handle one more psycho." With that, he hobbled over to the patient ward, leaving Cameron still worried.

Cut to next scene!

The new guy snarled as House limped in and sat facing him, chin resting on his hands, which were cupped over his cane.

“The hell do you want, cripple?!” the new guy growled, baring his teeth. Cameron was right; they were filed. How else could they look that sharp?

“Sure, insult the guy who gives you drugs. For a guy who’s supposed to live forever, you’re not very bright, are you?” House responded, aqua-blue eyes remaining calm.

"Shut the **** up and get these damn straps off me!" the patient spat, thrashing more vigorously at his bonds.

"Like I'm really gonna do that when you're clearly about to kill me," House remarked. "I'm the guy who'll be treating you. And from what I can tell, I don't wanna be here any more than you do. I've got better things to do than treat some Bela Lugosi wannabe with an attitude."

This made the patient's eyes gleam with anger. "You think I'm a FAKE?!" he shouted.

"Not quite. Vampirism has been reported since the Dark Ages. I just think you are what those vampires were - an undiagnosed diabetic. Or maybe you have porphyria. But that's more common in fake werewolves."

Now the vamp was really pissed off. "I could kill you in three seconds if I wanted, you mortal bastard! The only reason I'm playing nice right now is so I don't get fried!"

House didn't respond this time. He just stood up and pressed the call button for the nurse. "Patient's getting too hostile. Get a sedative up here."

When House turned to face the patient, though, his eyes widened in shock.

The patient was gone. His restraints were intact, but undeniably empty.

Then he heard a scream from the door. House whipped around and saw the nurse he had asked for - in the patient's grip. The patient's eyes were now completely red, and his teeth seemed to have ... had they GROWN?

"Hey, cripple!" the patient called with obvious relish. "Can a diabetic do this?" He leaned down to the whimpering nurse's neck with a crazed, starving look in his eyes.

That was when a gunshot rang out.

House's first thought was to look down at himself quickly, thinking Oh s***, not again! But when he looked back up, the patient had gone from cocky and evil to surprised. A millisecond later, he turned into a pile of sand on the floor. The nurse he had been holding captive ran away screeching.

All House could do was look on, too astonished to speak, as a red-clad man sauntered into the room, looking self-assured, suave, and powerful. A smoking slide gun in his hand told House where the shot had come from. The stranger turned toward House, a smile on his face, as he removed his orange sunglasses to reveal glinting red eyes. House felt something like a shadow sweep over his mind before the stranger spoke.

"Congratulations, Dr. House," he said in a deep, silky voice. "You just survived your first vampire attack."

I got the way and means to New OrleansI'm goin' down by the river where it's warm and greenI'm gonna have a drink, then walk aroundI got a lot to think aboutOh yeah...-Bloodletting, Concrete Blonde