For The Single Girls

My aunt is recently divorced. Well, maybe not so "recently," because I guess it's going on a few years now, but she's kind of just re-entering the "single and dating" thing. She had a shitty husband who treated her (and their kids) like crap and threatened her constantly about what would happen if she ever tried to leave him. She got nothing from her very wealthy husband in the divorce, but she's content to just have her freedom. Unfortunately, her kids are kind of at an awful age now. They're not quite over the divorce, not quite over the fighting and verbal abuse of their father, they throw "Dad" in her face every chance they get and they enjoy testing their mother's boundaries as much as possible.

Every chance I get, I like to remind her that she's an inspiration. That she is the image of an empowering woman. That it took a lot of strength for her to do the right thing and leave that asshole, even if her kids can't see it yet.

She lives far away, but my parents try to visit her at least once or twice a year. Usually, she has a few fix-it projects around the house that she asks my father to fix. (And, as you learned just last week, my father either likes doing these kinds of things, or he has us all fooled.)

Last year, my mother went out there to visit, and my aunt had some curtains or blinds that she wanted to hang, but didn't know how. (Don't even get me started on the fact that one of her sons should've figured it out and done it for her.) So, my mother, who has a fair amount of fix-it skills that she learned from my father, checked out the situation, and then asked my aunt, "Do you have a screwdriver?"

"No," my aunt responded.

"How can you not have a screwdriver?" my mother asked.

"Well, because I read this article. It said that all a single woman needs is a black lace bra and a hammer."

"Then, you'd better get that bra on, get outside, and flag down a guy with a screwdriver."