Victim Meter!

Now you too can
claim Victim Status!

Rake in the attention! Feel the love!

You dont have to FAKE CANCER like

It’s so simple,
anyone can do it!

Victim Meter!

Simply attach it
to your wrist, connect with our app, fill in a brief questionnaire and pronto! Your
Meter will detect how Victim worthy you are! If your Status is low, the Meter
will suggest multiple options how to embellish
your story! Wow!

It automatically
connects to all your social media accounts! It will post on your behalf. Watch
those sad emojis come rushing in! Wait for all those comments of support and
pity! Hell, people will be offering you money in no time!
Watch your benefits soar!

Purchase the Victim Meter now and receive a free Victim Card!Perfect for Airports, Rallies and Brunches.No need to Shout Out. Just Whip it Out!

There's no company that wouldn't want to have a Victim on their books. It’s the New Way of Doing Business! You’re literally guaranteed a promotion!

At the very least, you can claim free counselling and take a shit load of sickies.

Milk that sympathy
for all its worth! Watch your life improve tenfold! Watch your friends list
swell! You’ll have more romantic offers than a Tattslotto winner. Clock up those sympathy
fucks!

If only Jessie Smollett was wearing our Victim Meter!

Perfect for worn out Social Justice Warriors, fighting for causes they barely believe in.

Don’t
just passively cruise through life. Forget those endless cries for Likes.

It's sooo hard being boring.

Be a Victim instead! Just like a real person...

except without the pain!

Disclaimer: Use at
your own risk. Withoutsomegenuine Victim
Worthy Points, the Meter may call you a Whiny Attention Seeking Biatch. And everyone will eventually
realise that you are merely, as they already suspected, full of shit.

Bio

A.J. Langford grew up in a town of 600, somehow ended up in London and now lives in Sydney. Aside from writing, he's a Television Editor, Video Producer and an Aged Care Recreational Officer. He's created short films, music videos, video poetry and directed short plays. Many stories and poems have been published in many countries from the U.S. to Europe, Asia and Australasia.

Books: He has written four small books (see links under Header) and a collaboration with an Italian artist, For Your Pleasure (2015).

He's written seven novels which remain unpublished though plans to release some of them from 2019 onwards.