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Pissed Off Maldivians Invade the Blog! January 10, 2008

Maldivians are going crazy on my last blog post. I wrote what I expected to be received as a humorous article about the failed assassination attempt on the Maldivian president’s life and, lo and behold, by this morning, I had received over a thousand hits, and loads of comments. The attention is mainly thanks to a leading newssource for Maldivian happenings, the Dhivehi Observer, picking it up and running it on their main webpage.

Most of the comments are meant to be insulting, but I was pleased at the attention. Some have failed to see the humour in the article and have taken it personally. However, there are some who do appreciate it. They seem to divide along political party lines, with the supporters of the present Maldivian government being offended, and the supporters of the opposition being appreciative. Sound familiar?

Kottu.org has not been sending me as many visitors as it used to, mainly due to an RSS-feed issue, Indi thinks, so I am rather pleased to have received a load of traffic from outside Sri Lanka.

Maybe I should take up writing about the Maldives instead.

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Update: It turns out that the last post was so popular that now I am the first hit on Google when you run a search for “Maumoon Abdul Gayoom assassination”. I am also in the first 10 hits when yous search for just “Maumoon Abdul Gayoom” and “Abdul Gayoom”.

This post has also brought me the highest number of hits I have ever had on this blog. I had over 1500 page views yesterday, and combined with the day before, it appears that in two days there have been approximately 2100 page views.

The number of page views are roughly equivalent to 0.7% of the population of the Maldives, and 2.4% of the capital, Male. I must go check the unique hits on statcounter.

hehe… i read that thread… its pretty funny…
but i was thinking… we’d be pretty pissed off if indians said that “you guys are small(er)”
we’d have to call dirac for help…
“are we small in an absolute sense?”

And Also We are laughing “at” the smelly lankans..I don’t expect you to find the insults against Lankans amusing..but it’s our past time ( what we find funny is ) to mock at the uncivilized smelly Srilankans..haw haw haw…

ravana, even though the artical is funny it does contain some insults which i dont think u have put honestly for the sake of fun.but i must say my country men have responded with rather rediculous racist comments for which i sincerly apologise.i wrote this comment just ask u to saw bit respect to others when u write next time.hope to see a comment from u and most importantly more articals about maldives.

ravana. written in true journalistic gist i believe. you are absolutely entitled to your opinions, be it funny or otherwise. being a maldivian i enjoyed ur article – which is true in a sense. maldivians please take a chill pill, come on! if you find it insulting, its easy not to be – just close the tab!
but just for the record, we make a mean tuna curry eh! i hear our neighbours will give an eye-tooth for some yummy umbalhakada! (did i spell that right?)

apart from the do it like rabbits bit i dont see anything that would be construed as offensive by our maldivian friends in this article

i guess the extreme response tells a lot abt freedom of speech in the small islands, i think think most sri lankans would find the whole response quite amusing

and let me also tell u that these bloggers dont represent the malidivian public in general, i worked in the capital and in a resort island for 2 years and enjoyed my time there, dated several local girls and they didnt seem to mind my sri lankan smell as u guys put it :)

Ravana i dont think u couldve summed up the situation better, i loved ur article, its was a good change from all the carefully written articles we read on our tabloids. I appreciate that you acknowledge the few of us who can look beyond our egos and see the truth in your perception. The truth is, right now, our country really is a joke. i think people who reacted aggressively to your article realise the truth in it, but the mere fact that you are not a maldivian seems to be the problem.

Hi, Ravana — very nice blog, well done. I’m the moderator of the blogging panel at the Galle Literary Festival and the organizers have sent me your blog address but not your email, so I am catching up with you through your blog. Could you kindly drop me an email so that we can talk a little about the panel? many thanks
Nury Vittachi

Well I thought it was a bit a silly post, and not particularly funny if humour was the only point of it. But my god, where is all this Maldivian hostility coming from? Have we been stealing their women? They’re even thinner skinned than we are.

after reading your article i immediately saw a profile of a LOOSER. you crave for attention and yet you are no body. you have failed in everything you attempted in life – when you read this, deep inside you will know its true. it hurts to face the TRUTH right? but hey dont worry – there are plenty of people like you – some 20 million right?

for the record, majority of you are none innovative and really stupid. you cant even elect a good leader – your politicians were stupid enough to start the conflict and now the poor people are paying for the war. a country with so many natural resources and so much human capital – yet the biggest failure in the region. my guess was correct. you live in sri lanka and you must be STUPID since all the brilliant minds had migrated overseas long ago and the educated are working overseas too.

you may think life is cricket game? its not easy – you need to be innovative to win in life. According to INDIA-DAILY, sri lanka has one of the highest alcohol consumption in the world. could AREK be the cause of this brain drain at such massive scale?

Either you have a fucked up sense of humor or you totally lack the ability to determine the difference between humor and insult, OR you may even fail to distinguish between minute and enormous, and have a bloody misconception of relating penis sizes to ethnicity. It is okay that (ppl like sujau) to be pissed off, since they have small penises (and apparently someone told him Maldivians have small ones, all of them). Misconception: There is no proven study, nor theory which relates human penis size to their races.

sujau, are u gay..WHy are you so obsessed with penises…Anyway Maldivians and Srilankans both belong to dravidian race which migrated to the southern tip of Indian peninsula after they were attacked and drivern of by Aryans .. So whatever the size we all Maldivians and Lankas will have probably the same size…haha..

Shual: why are you so turned on by my mention of the word “penis”. are YOU gay? i dont have a problem with gayness.. let me say that Maldives is a 100% homosexual country as small Maldivian small penises only fit in hermit crab butholes. and ugly maldivian ladies (all of them) are left off to make themselves happy with bitter gourd or various miniature fruit (like maldivians even the fruit in the country are miniature)

maldives is the worst excuse fora country on this planet. goddamn maldives and its barbaric, primivite, illiterate, superficial and ugly inhabitants.

Shual: the southern tip of Indian penis? Maldives is the bits of smegma that fell of during the circumcision of the Indian penissular.
Shual: i dont understand why you think the Indian subcontionent is a penis. maybe like all Maldivians (excluding me) you need to get you head examined.. (and not by one of those badly educated Maldivian doctors.. but a Professional from Sri-lanka..)_

PS. all accountants in Maldives are from Srilanka. Srilankans have been keeping the books, teaching Maldivians, cooking for them for the last quarter century. Maldivians are like Arabs. they;re no good.. but unfortunately the only oil in this country is the cheese collected on maldivian penises..for which there is no market in this planet.

srilankans do stink..thats a fact..there is not a single honest person and and they do really suck when it comes to sex…also most men are gay..i bet you there won’t be peace in srilanka even the thoiand years. coz they r srilankans amd they get drunk easily..one beer is enough to stab a person to death….prove me wrong guys!!!!!!!!

dude, this is off the HOOK!! i cant believe how many people commented on your last post!! i thought that last one was damn fun. but, its true that most maldivians cant take a joke. i know coz i face the same thing. people tend to get offended too easily. which is a blast for me, coz i like pissing ppl off. by the looks of it, so do u.

8. Not A Srilankan Monkey – January 10, 2008
And Also We are laughing “at” the smelly lankans..I don’t expect you to find the insults against Lankans amusing..but it’s our past time ( what we find funny is ) to mock at the uncivilized smelly Srilankans..haw haw haw…”

this is outrageous. all in all, you have successfully degraded your country as well as yourself. Shame on you…the (not so important) monkey.
PS: you say you are not a monkey and then “haw haw haw”??? oh man…

I can’t understand why some people are saying Maldivians don’t have a sense of humour. Just check out http://www.bakhabaru.com for proof. It’s not a matter of not being able to appreciate humour, it’s more because Maldives is divided between supporters of Gayoom and the opposition. What one group finds funny the other finds to be totally insulting and vice versa.

That link was funny. Maldivians do have a sense of humour. But seriously, the comments on this post and the ‘offending’ one reminds me a lot of my own countrymen. The reactions were so over the top that they were funny. The best thing has to be JustMal’s silly one liners in between. That just cracked me up!!!

Maldives and Sri Lanka are two fucked up countries. There is no denying of that. Here in Maldives we have the highest divorce rate in the world. We have a high rate of child abuse. We have a high percentage of our youth as brown sugar addicts. Now we have crystal meths. We also have a dictator who dream of extending his grip beyond 30 years in power. Maldivians and Sri Lankans enjoyed mutual respect, hospitality, friendship and generosity for centuries. There is no need to erase that history with racist remarks as an apology for our sorry states. There was never a free and fair election in Maldives. Read this.

Your post is great Ravana. Help us bring democracy to this small country by exposing the barbaric acts of the regime in Maldives. We hope one day your country finds peace and move beyond the ethnic violence. Democracy loving youth of Maldives will not falter because of some selfish egoist Maldivians. We will not let the resources of this country be plundered by Gayoom, his family and cronies.

Fuck you srilankan (9)headed cocksucker. You guys think you are better than us? Well fuck you, and suck your gods dick(s). And you cuntlicker sujau, you pathetic maldivian peice of shit. You go and suck your mummy’s titties cos you have such a small sorry peice of a dick for yourself. And ravana, go fuck a tree or something. We dont give a shit about maumoon. Yeah, you guys smell like shit man. You country sucks big time. You think some big fucking, goSL can kick some butt ? You guys are good for nothing. You are fucked up. You have killed TAMILIANS and they are fucking you up. AND the tamialians in your country are fucked up t00… YOU GUYS fuck like pigs….nasty little peice of shits.. FAGGOTS. go suck chandrika’s pussy or something.

I think this row shows how similar Maldivians and Srilankans are. Apart from the language, appearance and hospitality, Maldivians seem to share the same attitude towards politics as Sri lankans.

I have seen in Sirilanka, people look at the same incident differently according to their party afiliation. People are ready to believe their party verdict on anything, regardless of its implications on national interests.

It seems it is the same in Maldives. Congratulations ! you both are same !! (So, that may answer the ‘size’ dispute too)

Adam: my “own nation”? i never spoke of the silly place in such patriotic terms. my message to the People of Earth is that maldives must be done away with for the future of civilization. the in-bred, retarded midgets of maldives will otherwise bring down human civilization.

On another note, Indian researches have concluded that they require custom made condoms, Apparantly the ones currently in circulation is a bit too large resulting them to slip off etc.
Maybe the average asian man’s penis is smaller than what we want it to be? Mine is certainly smaller than what I’d like it to be.

One other thing I noticed is the “smelly” posts.
Lankan entrepreneurs have yet to come up with a good quality deodorant that suits their climate.
They aren’t too keen on importing goods unlike the Maldivians.

I notice comments have died down. This is always the case with Maldivians. They have a very short memory span. Being fishermen for 4,000 years certainly didn’t help them develop any useful mental skills. The Maldivian brain has de-evolved or retarded to the level of Skipjack Tuna. Poor midgets. I pity them.