"Words fascinate me. They always have. For me, browsing in a dictionary is like being turned loose in a bank." -- Eddie Cantor

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Two News Stories

One real. One not.

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Aquarium lowers water levels after feeding turtles Brussels sprouts.

An aquarium has lowered the water level in their tanks to prevent gas bubbles produced by turtles from triggering overflow alarms.

Staff at the Great Yarmouth Sea Life Centre in Norfolk give turtles a seasonal treat of Brussels sprouts at Christmas which provide a healthy dose of vitamins, minerals and fibre.

However, the turtles, like humans, are prone to heavy bouts of flatulence after eating the vegetables.

Last year a turtle at a Sealife Centre triggered overflow alarms in the middle of the night after the splashes from gassy bubbles hit overflow sensors.

Now the Yarmouth turtle tank - 12 feet in depth and width holding 250,000 litres of water along with George the 3ft long green turtle - has been partially emptied for the festive season.

Thousands of litres have been removed to lower the water by a six inches and keep the sensitive alarms clear.

Displays Supervisor Christine Pitcher said: ''Last time an aquariist had to dash to the centre in the middle of the night, so we're not going to take any chances.

"Sprouts are really healthy for green turtles.

"The high levels of calcium in them are great for their shells, the fibre is good for their digestion and they also contain lots of beneficial Vitamin C, sulphur and potassium."

Senior Marine Biologist Darren Gook added: "We like to treat him to different foods and seeing as it's Christmas we thought brussel sprouts would be good.

"I haven't noticed too many bubbles coming from George yet but hopefully now the water levels have been adjusted flatulence won't cause problems."

Green turtles are mainly herbivores who feed on marine grasses and algae and are found in coastal regions of the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian Oceans.

They are the largest turtles in the world and can grow up to one and a half metres (five ft) in length, weigh an incredible 400 kilos (63 stone) and live for up to 80 years.

Poaching and destruction of habitat has led to a decline in numbers and the species is now endangered, with a critically endangered population in the Mediterranean.

The eight-year-old resident male at Great Yarmouth Sea Life centre measures a metre and will reach maturity for another 20 years.

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Grammar Correction Man Beaten To Death

Police today revealed that a 27 year old English teacher has been beaten to death by the checkout staff at a supermarket in Guildford, Surrey.

An eye witness said "It was horrible - the man simply pointed out that the sign reading 'ten items or less' should in fact read 'fewer than ten items' because less means 'not as much' and fewer means 'not as many'."

Police say that following these comments the checkout staff set upon the man using cash bags and an assortment of frozen foods. Six employees have been arrested.

This is the latest in a spate of grammar related crimes; A woman was recently defenestrated by her husband when she pointed out to him that he'd said 'providing the weather is fine, I'll wash the car' rather than the correct 'provided the weather is fine', A 65 year old lady was injured by a man after she informed him of his constant muddling of the words 'whose and who's'.

Police are asking the public to be careful and only correct grammar if it is truly necessary or to add sense to complex sentences.

A police spokesman said "If you hear a double negative or a gerund not logically attached to the subject of a sentence resulting in a dangling modifier, just walk on by. Don't offer a correction; it's just not worth it."

"In the meantime if you suspect you have been the victim of a grammar related crime, please report it to the police"

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About Me

Just an ole curmudgeon who loves words and enjoys playing with and learning about them.
It bothers me when I make a mistake but it bothers me more if I don't learn from that mistake.
Feel free to email me - stanhoffer2@aol.com - Please put "Blog" in the subject line.