France, skinny dipping, wine, first-time

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was spending my holidays in France, Cote d’Azure. Together with a couple of my friends we went to the beach at a late evening to talk, chill and drink wine. After about an hour a two year older guy came up to us and said he’s traveling around Europe for his gap year and asked if he could join our circle and hang out. We agreed, he seemed very nice, told us all the fantastic stories about all the adventures he had while his eurotrip. We were all getting tipsy but still had nice intellectual conversations. I became really interested in this guy, we were getting along well and we shared a lot of interests and perspectives on life. With regards to appearance, he was tall, quite muscular, blonde.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was about 2 or 3 at night when a lot of my friends said they will soon come back home. The guy said that the two of us could hang out some more, he complimented me and said he really enjoys my companionship and he’d like to know some more about me. I also had the same desire but was a little hesitant at first as I knew I could expect sex, whereas I was still a virgin. Nevertheless, I was into him and I agreed to spend some more time with him. We were walking around the beach, sharing some secrets and the romantic atmosphere was slowly turning into a more erotic one. He asked me if I had ever skinny dipped and having heard my answer “no,” he smiled erotically, put his hands around my body and whispered to my ear if I wanted to change it. After my enthusiastic nod, he took of my clothes, took of his clothes, picked me up and ran into the sea. He then kissed me passionately and asked me if I wanted to come to his place. That was the point in which my hesitations came back and with all honesty, I told him I didn’t have any sexual experience and that I never had sex, not speaking of one-night-stands, but I was very very very keen to come to his place although slightly scared. He was very understanding, told me that it of course depends on me and he doesn’t want to push me into anything, which was very nice. He promised he’s going to be gentle and he’s gonna focus on me and my pleasure. After kissing and talking more, we left the sea, put our clothes on and came to his hotel.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went to the roof of his hotel, drinking some wine and staring at a beautiful sunrise by the exotic palms. Perfect romantic atmosphere, probably quite unusual for first-time hookups. We had a long foreplay, in which he went down on me and performed long oral sex. We had sex in the missionary position first, as at first I wasn’t really comfortable in any other position but as it progressed I was then on top of him riding him and he was complimenting him that for the first time having sex I’m really good. There was a lot of dirty talk. Sex began rather delicate as he didn’t want me to feel pain (which he succeeded in!) but then it was rough, he was spanking me and holding me aggressively, which really turned me on. We both orgasmed and then came back to his room.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I stayed at his place for the night. When I woke up, he was already awake, talked for a while. The atmosphere was chill and not awkward at all. When I was walking back home in the morning, I felt a lot of emotions, mostly surprise and disbelief, but in a positive sense. The night was quite unexpected but I didn’t regret it at all. We didn’t have contact for a while as he left France the same day but after a month or two, he said he’s visiting my country, so he asked if we could meet. We went for a coffee, I showed him a little bit of my city and we had amazing time together (no sex was involved), which just reassured me that he was a great person to lose my virginity with.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only to my two best female friends, who said it was an amazing story. Although I’m not mentally embarrassed and I don’t regret it, I’m not comfortable telling everyone about it as I feel some kind of social stigma around “losing virginity with a newly met person, not in a long-term relationship”

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think that in many societies, hookups are still stigmatised and although the majority of people have them at least once in their lives, they feel ashamed/embarrassed to openly talk about. I’m definitely not advocating that casual sex is always great, of course it can lead to many negative experiences such as guilt or feeling of emptiness but as far as I am concerned, there should be a more open conversation about the fact that casual sex exists, many people have it and how it can be potentially beneficial and pleasant.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great initiative to empower people and inform on other people’s experiences (both positive and negative) in order to show the whole spectrum of how can casual sex look like.