Are you kidding me' : Me and Miss Bee find inspiration close to home

I buy magazines with the fantasy of reading them by the fireplace; the reality is that they often pile up, unread. I usually have a couple month’s worth of glossy pages to get lost in. The November issue of Marie Claire had me excited because it had a huge 3rd Annual Woman on Top Awards feature and a bonus At Work section.

The Woman on Top awards were fantastic. It showcased women in a variety of professions. I was inspired until I got to the article “Do you have executive presence” sunk the whole issue.

It was mostly a list of shallow, superficial reasons women get passed over for executive jobs. There is actually a bar chart titled “looks matter” where men and women were polled about beauty blunders that undermine executive presence. The list includes: bad teeth (the top offender!), dated hair, poor complexion and finally, no makeup. Are you kidding me? Funny, because I believe most men could wear the same shirt to work every day of the week without having their worth undermine.

The anger this article lit inside of me coincided with a friend of mine telling me about a workshop that she attended. I want to share some of Teena M. Hackett’s experience with you.

Hackett works for the Town of Peace River as the Executive Assistant to the Chief Administrative Officer and Council. The Town organized a workshop specifically tailored for women in the workplace. As Hackett explained, “the workshop was run by Kathy Archer in Grimshaw – it was via teleconference. It deals with the pressures of being a woman in the workplace, and how women (as well as employers) place unreasonable expectations on themselves, without taking the time to take care of themselves to ensure that they can do their job to the best of their abilities.”

LZ: What did you expect from it? Did you look forward to it or dread it?

TH: I think that I expected that it would be more formal, a basic crash course in the importance of taking care of yourself in the workplace. I had not thought that it would be quite so interactive and so sincere. I was a bit apprehensive about taking the workshop, because I am probably the worst person in the workplace for bothering with self care. I work through my breaks and my lunch hours, and have to really work at convincing myself not to take work home with me. I’ve been known to check in when I’m on vacation, and on days I’m sick. I guess my apprehension came from knowing that I was already failing at what she was trying to show us, and feeling like I was disappointing myself by falling into that stereotypical category of women who push themselves to the point that they have nothing left to give. If I was looking forward to anything, it was the hope that she would be able to make something in my brain click, that she would convince me that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.

LZ: What can you say you took away from it and how can it be applied practically in the workplace?

TH: I would say that the most important idea that I took away from the workshop was that I deserve to take time for myself during the workday. That there is nothing wrong with taking a five to ten minute breather from work to just get up and walk around, take my mind away from whatever I’m working on at the moment, and that if I don’t start doing these things, that I am going to burn myself out. Women need to realize that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes, to say no when people start dumping things on your desk, or asking for favours. Women are often seen as these multi-tasking machines, capable of handling an infinite amount of projects around the workplace and at home; sometimes this is a view put on women by the workplace itself, but just as often it’s women that place this burden on themselves. It carried over from work to home, whether it’s taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, walking the dog, grocery shopping, or any other number of tasks that women are expected to take on. Kathy made us all make a promise to each other at the end of the workshop that we would take a few hours on the weekend to do something purely for ourselves, and that we were not to feel guilty about doing this, because we deserve it.

LZ: Would you recommend this to other women?

TH: Absolutely I would recommend this workshop to others. It isn’t a long workshop, only an hour or so, but it’s a full hour. It’s very interactive but without the sense of pressure that some workshops give. There is no judging each other, only encouragement and support.

LZ: Can you describe reactions you observed from others?

TH: I would say that the greatest reaction that I observed was relief; and that relief stemmed from knowing that we weren’t alone, and that we now had a network of people in the office the help to encourage us to take breaks, to not take lunch at our desks while we continue to work, to take a few hours for ourselves in the evenings and on weekends, and most importantly, to leave work at work. We all recognized a part of ourselves in the things she was saying.

The workshop Hackett attended is to me, a positive way to bolster women in the workplace so that they can develop this “executive presence”. In all of her comments, Hackett never once mentioned advice like ensuring you have no visible panty lines. There was no mention of Kate Middleton as a style icon or to emulate Angelina Jolie’s balance of sexuality and confidence. Marie Claire, thank you for our years of friendship. I wish you well in all your future endeavours, but I believe this is where we part ways. I will not listen to your career advice, especially not when I have friends like Hackett and real women to inspire me and Miss Bee rather than Malibu Barbie.