Monday, September 22, 2008

Yippitty Skippitty Do

Well now, lets just see.Another year...wow that just sucked.

I've decided to share a bit of my prose, which will make its rounds and end up in some book that will never gain me credit but will get paid for, all on account of one of my wonderfully e-penned yet jaunty outcries; man people really suck the life out of you, don't they?Ps. Reader: I've started my day with far too much speed, in an conceited and vanity-filled attempt to mentally time travel back to a time when I did things in a snap pop & crackle fashion...back when things would surround me with mad static

The amount of what there is... is... unimaginable yet we chase or regret.With that all being stated: here we go my friends, just a tiny taste:

I fucking despise Harley owners.Whats worse is when they have a bunch ofstupid shit attached...flags and stuffed animals, ribbons andfucking stickers to tell me howme how many rallies they've been to, or what chapter of the retarded club thatmakes them feel better about not actually achieving the "James Dean... I'm a bad ass, no really look at me" fantasy... the one that made them want one in the first place.

So all lets gather around and look at the shinny two wheeledfact that I have a fat wife, little dick,2.5 bratty kids and I just got a 5% raise after my annual review at the life draining sheeple job I begrudgingly drag my ass to every day..."Oh wow..are they the new grip warmers?..oh the 09 model?... Wow""Look at my I'd like to fuck my wifes sister chrome trimed ferring...nice""Are those the I wish I had actually done anything but this with my life spokes?""Back up brother...that looks like 8 coats of high gloss triple dip candy apple red, you blow knuckle juice over the neighbors Queen of the Corn Husker harvest 19 year old, that you saw in the local rag....It is"

Stuffed animals? I once saw one of these Darwinian rejects driving, I'm sorry, "riding" down 17 in NC with a fucking Cockapoo on the back. Got a picture of that somewhere... For fuck sake people, you know what Sonny Barger would do to you if he saw that shit? Middle class white collar assholes shouldn't own motorcycles, you're fake, and you're lame, and you know it.

Aside from the obvious ocular horror that abounds in the form of "American heritage" motorcycles, I have to protest the filth that pours forth from their exhaust and into my ears. All I can hope for is that at some point one of those bedraggled 60's rejects will find the perfect harmonic to utterly and completely rattle apart all the "HOGS" in a mighty wide radius, God save Tesla, and his wonderful toys.