McCain Claims to Have Invented Blackberry, Raspberry.

A spokesman for the McCain campaign claimed today that the senator had been instrumental in the invention of the blackberry. He also claimed credit for inventing the raspberry as well.

The blackberry has been consumed by humans since at least the time of the famous Haraldskær Bog Woman 2500 years ago, whose stomach contents contained blackberry seeds. According to McCain's running mate Sarah Palin, McCain actually invented the blackberry "shortly after the Great Flood wiped out the dinosaurs, but sometime before Jesus taught the world to speak in tongues". McCain has also claimed to have been involved in the invention of the raspberry, or Bronx cheer, which he used frequently on his captors while a POW during the Peloponnesian Wars, and more recently during the Vietnam war.

When asked about the claim, Senator Barak Obama was skeptical and gave an extremely pointed response. "While we honor the Senator's service in the Peloponnesian, Hundred Year's, Revolutionary and Vietnam Wars, we feel his claim to have invented the blackberry and raspberry is a bit overblown. You know, we, uh, have it on pretty good scientific authority that the blackberry is actually the product of several million years of evolution. And, uh, although John McCain may have been instrumental in beginning the cultivation of the blackberry, and we also honor his service in doing this, he clearly did not invent it. As for the raspberry, you know uh, we feel that too was a Democratic rather than a Republican invention. Indeed, it's, uh, well known that Thomas Jefferson first used it in response to a John Adams' taunt regarding "Tom and Sally sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g."

When asked to comment, Al Gore, inventor of the Internets said, "It really doesn't matter who invented the blackberry, it clearly won't be growing after the Earth is turned into a cinder by global warming. But until then, I plan to consume as many blackberry pies and as much blackberry jam as possible".

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