It is often said about falling in love: the butterflies are a hormone induced crazy fling where we project all kinds of things onto another human being. Things that we either recognize in ourselves and desire more of, or things that seem the opposite of things in ourselves we desire to get rid off. And it makes sense. Tonight, we celebrated Sinterklaas, a Dutch national festivity where children get gifts from an imaginary Saint (which is the foundation of the story around Santa Claus). Me, my three daughters and their father. Someone I used to be in a relationship with for nine years. Once, we thought the other person was the most amazing person in the world. Finally someone who…

You know, dear one, You might feel alone out there, on your path of life. Knowing that what the people around you do is not the kind of passionate living that you ambition. You probably feel the strong pull of going beyond imaginary boundaries of right, wrong, and decent. Your soul is calling you in for wild adventures, breaking glass ceilings, and being free. For living beyond what you thought possible, beyond what teachers in school ever taught you. Beyond ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ Rich and famous aren’t good enough. You know there’s more. You feel it deep inside and it’s crystal clear. But the fears and doubts feel so real too. They teach…

There are so many social conditioning around sexuality, our bodies, our looks, how we present ourselves both to others as well as to ourselves. While shedding layers of all this, it’s so interesting how we can re-discover ourselves every day again. Take the body hair thing. When you think about it: how weird is it that hair on a man’s body is often considered sexy (look at the whole beard hype happening at the moment), while the hair on a woman’s body is often considered groce. I mean, WTF? And then the whole body size thing. Women should have flat bellies and perky boobies and all that. Because that’s what a woman is supposed to look like. Well, I don’t…

How Kinky Tantra can enrich your (Tantric) life and boost your chakras. Especially your manipura. Also: boundaries, desires, body image, polarity, dealing with emotions. This is the event I’m mentioning: The Kinky Tantra Intensive, November 16-18, 2018 NL Do you want me to teach in your country or at your event/festival? Feel free to contact me!

Intimacy is more than Sex with Wilrieke Sophia. We discuss how we often focus on the physical aspect of intimacy and don’t give the same credence to the other aspects. ——— In celebration of his upcoming book, Author Rob Kandell is having 15-minute FB LIVEs to have REAL, AUTHENTIC, unHIDDEN conversations with incredible people. Topics relationship, communication, intimacy, sexuality, body image and more.

It’s okay to long for Big Love, dear. To feel that trembling longing in your belly that lets you know, from deep inside, that this is something real this Big Love is something that exists and it’s there, for you, too. To feel that overwhelming sadness in your chest that heart-shattering contraction of feeling that it’s out of reach just the tiniest bit. To feel that confusion in your head Are you ready? Is this the moment? Is there something wrong in my relationship/s? Then remember: Confusion is part of Big Love as it invites you to look deeper into your wounds, your readiness to fully step up for what it is that you want, to not accept, any manipulation,…

We live in a dual world. When we learn what it’s like to be received in full presence, we inherently also learn what it’s like when that full presence is gone. When this other, who is so present with you, suddenly is gone. Doesn’t show up. Breaks an agreement. Can’t see you fully. The pain that comes with that is huge. It reminds us of the original wound of separation that goes back to when we were inside a womb – or possibly before that. The pain that reminds us, maybe unconsciously, of the moments when we were fully depending on our caregivers, and they couldn’t be there every moment we needed them. As that’s pretty much impossible. And then,…

Standing in the middle of an over-crowded train on my way home, another workshop facilitated in Amsterdam behind me. The people in the train discuss fried snacks with huge pupils. So much passion about burgers. Some are wearing sunglasses, even though it’s near midnight. A huge dance event in the city is probably the source of this outflux of people. I’m looking at my own reflection in the dark window. For so many years I thought I was weird and ugly. Sometimes I still do. That underlying belief of being weird. Different. Unwanted. The clumsy one who never wears the right clothes. Will it ever leave? I see a beautiful face, a proud woman wearing an amazing coat. Glitter on…

You always have a right to set boundaries. Always. I notice how easy I still step into a pattern of believing I have no right to set boundaries because I believe I’m in no position to have boundaries. For example when I’m someone’s lover, besides a primary partner. I believe I can’t have boundaries towards him (or her) because that’s only between them. Or when I’m with my children, as I want to hear their voice too (and preferably make everyone happy, which is impossible I found out through experience over the last decade) because I believe I should always be available. Or when I’m not in a relationship with someone anymore, as we’re now ‘uncoupled’…

Relationships are an amazing laboratory to discover patterns and work along with them or break them. How does that work? What supports the process? P.s. If you desire support finding your patterns or breaking them – let me know.