Sunday, July 31, 2011

ROAD RAGE ON STEROIDS ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was an adventure in Road Rage yesterday at 7th and Montana as an Anonymous Hothead put the Parking Lot from Hell to the test. The fun began when a woman driving a silver Mercedes accidentally beached herself on the hidden Curb of Doom (pictured above right). Such mishaps are nothing new. Cars scrape against, then get beached, on the curb that juts out near the trash bins behind Our Favorite Starbucks all the time. Once beached, the only way to prevent serious damage to your car is to carefully back out precisely the way you drove in. Yesterday, however, the Anonymous Hothead -- who was driving a White Chevy -- refused to let the woman 'unbeach' herself. "Go F--- Yourself," he yelled loudly for no apparent reason, "I'm not letting you back out ... I'm pulling in!" Four different witnesses tried to explain to the hothead that the Mercedes was beached, that there was no room for him to pull in, but the Hothead just got angrier and angrier until he yelled "F--- You All, I'm driving through!" Sure enough, he ended-up scraping his car (above left) against the Mercedes, wedging both cars in like sardines. A Police Officer arrived minutes later, forced the Hothead to back out, and asked what was going on. "That Mercedes backed right into me!," yelled the Hothead, "She's at fault!" A group of witnesses stepped forward to set the record straight, each calling the Hothead (below right) a liar. In the end, there was no damage, except perhaps to the Hothead's ego. After the police officer disappeared, the Hothead started to pull into the parking lot, only to notice that a large audience was staring right at him. "Aren't you going to Starbucks," asked one witness. "Ummm ... No ...," the Hothead stammered, "I think I have to go to the bank first." And with that, he drove away ... hopefully never to be seen again!