Monday, January 9, 2012

Be Still

Caroline Stephen, a 19th century Quaker, writes, "True inward quietness is...a state of stable equilibrium....the steadfastness of a single purpose....Perturbations and excitements belong to the comparatively superficial part of our nature. In cleaving to the Centre (God) we cannot but be still; to be inwardly still is to be aware of the Centre. The Centre means whatever is most unchangeable, most real, most truly important."

In this morning's "Deep Breath of Life" Alan Cohen talks about the formula he uses to help him determine if the next step is the right one when he's trying to make a decision. He says he has to feel both excited and scared about it. He says, "If you're just excited and not afraid, there is no challenge, no stretching, no initiation; you are still in your safe zone, and growth is unavailable. If you're just afraid, there is no positive motivation. Why walk through a fear unless there is something you are walking toward?" He says it's where excitement and fear intersect that you'll find your point of power. He applied this to relationships, too. It's at this point something clicked for me.

I realized that when we are first attracted to another person we have all the ingredients for growth--we're "designing" a relationship with someone new. That's exciting. The scary part is wanting to do the right thing to keep this person attracted to you. Once you marry him/her, the scary part seems to go away--the unknown part. Is it because we become too predictable to each other? Do we not play a part in that when we put expectations on the other person? Do we try to make them into little gods in our lives so that we can feel safe. I think it's because we can't sustain scary for too long. The thing is we will always fail each other because only God can be God--the Centre where we find our security--the only One Who is unchangeable. The only One who is truly dependable. There is much we can do to keep our people relationships fresh and exciting by allowing these relationships to be a place of growth rather than a "safe place" where nothing happens. With God as our Centre we are freed to take risks with our heart. This is where excitement and scary intersect!

Father, may only You be the One in my life whom I seek to be unchangeable. May I allow/seek all others to be agents of change in my life as I am in theirs.