Ask a Real Live Lady: Should I Really "Catcall" Ladies?

Catcalling is dumb as a thing and a word._ Catcalling?_ Was the first thing a dude ever shouted to a lady on the street "here pussy pussy pussy! here pussy pussy pussy!"? But yesterday a grown up lady named Doree Lewak wrote a piece claiming that women are just acting "sanctimonious" if they’re offended by catcalling for the New York Post, a paper known for its super progressive stance on gender relations (See also:"I’m 124 Sandwiches Away from an Engagement Ring"). And I quote:

The mystique and machismo of manly construction workers have always made my heart beat a little faster—and made my sashay a little saucier. It’s as primal as it gets, ladies! They either grunt in recognition or they go back to their coffee break. It’s not brain science—when a total stranger notices you, it’s validating.

Oh, don’t go rolling those sanctimonious eyes at me, young women of Vassar: I may court catcalls, but I hold my head high. Enjoying male attention doesn’t make you a traitor to your gender.

Isn’t feminism all about self-empowerment, anyway?

Okay, disregard the fact this reads like a drunk Carrie Bradshaw wrote it after a partial lobotomy. Doree Lewak thinks getting catcalled is totally about self-empowerment even though the definition of self-empowerment is that it comes from within, and probably not from horny men on the street who wolf whistle at you. This is maybe beside the point, but a wolf whistle doesn’t even work on female wolves. Seriously. Female wolves are extremely picky. I’d like to think most human females are too. That is, I very much doubt any man has ever sat his children down around the fire and said, "Let me tell you about how your mother and I first fell in love. It was on 18th street. She walked by in a low-cut dress and I yelled, ’Nice tits!’"

Because that’s never the point of catcalling. The kind of dudes who do it don’t actually want to talk to the women they yell to, they just want to ert their right to comment on their bodies. And most women I know who’ve experienced it are left feeling anywhere between vaguely irritated and full-on harassed. It’s not flirting. It’s not cute. And as a woman it’s really annoying to be treated like your looks are fair game for anyone to remark upon at any time they feel like it. (A related note for GQ’s female readers: don’t be the woman who pretends to be upset about it, just so you can tweet something like "UGH gross construction guy just said my hair was pretty." So, I guess, 1/8th of a kudo to this lady for at least being upfront about the fact that there is a real basic bitch inside her that loves sexual compliments from strangers on the sidewalk. But also: -200 kudos for everything else.)

You know what has a much better words uttered to sexhad success rate? Asking a lady if she wants to grab a cup of coffee.