Dear Harlan: I worry a lot. My boyfriend is 20 years old, and I am 18 years old. He has been attending the community college here, and I am going off to a school 3 1/2 hours away. We both can drive, and I’m taking my car to college. In mid-August, I will be moving on campus and he will continue to be in our hometown to complete his degree. He also has taken the initiative to ask for every other weekend off of work, which made me feel a little more positive about the situation.

Still, I am worried about me not having a life while I am at college. I want to talk to him as much as possible, but I don’t want to miss out on things while I am there, and he doesn’t want me to miss out, either.

I am also worried about getting jealous. I want him to have a life, but I just don’t know how to control the jealousy. I am worried about my clinginess and neediness getting the best of me while we are apart. Any advice?

— Queen of Worry

Dear Queen: You have good reason to worry, too. Seeing him every other week is way too much. Try once every four weeks. Also, plan on getting involved in at least two activities where participation is mandatory (sororities, team sports, student government, etc).

Unless you are forced to be on campus, you’ll jump in your car and run home to your security-blanket boyfriend every time you have a bad day.

As for the jealousy, trust that you are the best choice for him and he’s the best choice for you. If you don’t believe that you’re the best choice and are too afraid he’ll find someone better, jealousy will drive him to someone else. But that’s OK — if you have a life on campus, you’ll survive.

Dear Harlan: I have a lot of trouble making friends. I feel like I screwed up my chances to form good, strong friendships in college. Since all my closest friends will be going abroad this fall, I feel like I’ll be all alone this coming semester.

I have trouble having meaningful friendships. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I end up being the last person on people’s minds.

I’m jealous of my brother, who effortlessly makes good friendships. Meanwhile, try as I might, I turn people off or away from me. I’m in my early 20s now, and I don’t really know if I’ll be able to make good friendships anymore.

— Lonely and Far Away

Dear Lonely and Far Away: If you make one good new friend at age 25 and live to be 100, that’s 75 years of friendship. So, you have plenty of time to make new friends.

Now that you can relax, call this the “ME” year. Do something that will help you meet new people. Find a part-time job, take on a leadership role or volunteer in a busy place on campus. Avoid depending on invitations to meet people.

At the same time, feed your soul. Pick an interest and dive in. This time with yourself is golden. Before you know it, you’ll be married, have a job, a family and little time for you. Revel in the moment.

As for your brother, he might have a lot of friends, but they might not be long-lasting.

Dear Harlan: My boyfriend and I share a two-bedroom apartment with one other person. Before I moved in a couple of months ago, my boyfriend and his friend from work evenly split the rent. Since I moved in (both bedrooms are the same size), our roommate has decided that it’s fair for him to pay one-third of the rent. While I do agree that we should pay a little more than him, I disagree that we should have to pay two-thirds of the rent while he only pays one-third rent for one of the bedrooms.

We share utilities three ways, which makes sense, but I think it’s preposterous for him to pay only one-third of the rent when he is occupying half of the bedrooms. The total amount for rent is $650. Our roommate pays only $216 while my partner and I pay $434.

This is a sticky situation, as our roommate and my boyfriend also are co-workers. I want what’s fair and would like some support as to our decision.

— Paying Too Much

Dear Paying Too much: Here’s the problem — you are always around. This is not something your boyfriend’s roommate agreed to when he signed the lease.

Let’s face it: You’re the third roommate. You are hanging out in the kitchen, on the couch, in the living room and in the room next door. I agree that splitting the rent in thirds is not quite fair, but instead of coming at this from a money point of view, come at this from an emotional point of view.

The lease-signers need to have a discussion (without you). Your boyfriend should try saying something to the effect of, “I should have asked you earlier, but do you mind that my girlfriend is living here?” The next question is, “Would it be OK if instead of splitting rent three ways, she threw in $100 extra a month and we split the utilities three ways?”

If he doesn’t think that’s fair, then pay your third and get a one-bedroom when the lease is up.

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