Author: Tshego

“Men are so used to helping themselves that’s it’s like… they can’t help themselves…”

For a very long time now I’ve been trying to figure out why women, black women to be more specific, are angry human beings . I, like many others harbour a silent rage from my own personal experiences as well as those of my family, friends, colleagues and strangers; with this big bad world.

A lot of people ask and wonder why we are so angry and partly it’s because of how we are treated in this world; which is something we will never “get over” by the way. Being born in a world where you are seen and treated like property or an inanimate object purely based on your gender and your race is something to have a raging fury about; no- wait. It’s something to be pissed the fuck off about.

You go your merry way expecting to be treated like a human being; never mind an equal one and even on your best day the world has a huge piece of phlegm ready for your face.

In a recent Ted Talk I watched by Tracee Ellis Ross, she highlights that women have been trained to think that we are overreacting or that we are being too sensitive; or unreasonable. We try to make sense, of nonsense and we swallow the fury. We try to put it in some hidden place in our minds but it doesn’t go away.

It’s an exhausting reality and one which we must not tire speaking about, irrespective of the discomfort and ostracism. Someone’s got to do it and the sooner it clicks that we aren’t objects, we won’t tolerate it and we won’t keep quiet, the quicker it will end.

We are not overreacting and this is not “just the way it is”. The time is up on that. It is men’s responsibility to change men’s bad behavior. I repeat. It is men’s responsibility to change men’s bad behavior.

To find out the roles we aught to play in this future world, I urge you to watch the ted talk below.

If I had a dollar each time a male individual told me that “the world is yours”, seriously, it really would be. The sad reality though is that it really isn’t, it is everyones and the price we pay for our part of the world is taxing.

“The biggest misconception and killer of dreams is the hope that someone is coming to save you/ give you your big break. No one is coming sisi… you must come for yourself.”

As women in corporate, we now live in an era where roles and opportunities are in abundance for African females in African corporates. However, no one tells you how many obstacles you will need to overcome to attain this seat that is “waiting for you”. We are still pushing sis… in 2018 we are still breaking glass ceilings, still fighting back tears from a lack of recognition in a boardroom or for a piece of work we poured our whole existence into. still.

There is this misconception floating around with women in corporate that if we are beautiful, dress the part, are hardworking and smart, we will get recognized and rise up to c- suite level; that our work will speak for us” Its not going to happen sis. No one is coming to save you, no one will recognise you and no one will be giving you a break. It’s not unfair, it is just life. the only person who might just be able to give you your big break, if you work really hard at it, is yourself. but trust me, no one is coming to save us, we need to save ourselves…

Like this:

Sometimes shit really gets real. You have a sucky week where you need to prepare for two exams, land a big project and organize a working group with stakeholders in different time zones. Whatever happens, you need to keep the sexy alive no matter what. So what do you wear?

We all have a “go to” (or emergency) outfit in our wardrobes that we use for those lazy or crazy busy days. I have 3 and today I am going to share the formula of how you can make a few of your own and then I will show you one of mine 🙂

In order to ensure that no matter how busy you get, you still look on point you need to ensure that in your wardrobe you have the following 4 things (more than 3 is admin):

First and foremost, it must be weather agnostic, or else it cannot be used in case of ANY emergency

Black cotton crop trousers

a plain blouse that needs little to no ironing or buttoning

Shoes that are comfortable, but don’t look it

You will see that on this list I have not included any accessories. The aim with these “go to” outfits is to look like you made enough effort not to look like the effort was “just enough”. I really like to keep my looks as minimalist as possible, if I am wearing a necklace on my super busy days, I need to be congratulated ’cause I would have gone out of my way for real. Usually its just wear a watch and studs.

Here is one of my favorite “go to” outfits that ticks all the boxes and I feel is simple yet super chic!

80% of the time the people who land the job nevermind get the interview usually have a relationship somewhere, somehow with the person/ people they will be working with should they be successful. Reason being, teams hire yes for skill, but more importantly, for “fit” aka culture. All parties involved in the process need to be sure that you will fit into the culture, help make money, and stay.

Having said this, below are 7 really important fundamental tips/ things to consider to help on your journey in landing what you believe is your “dream job”:

What are you bringing to the table?

How can adding you into the team be beneficial to the bottom line?

What’s in your skills toolkit?

What can you do differently/ better than all the people around the office?

Again!!!!! Culture fit– soooo NB. No one wants to be dealing with “situations”…

Are you generally a hard worker?

I mean, its not just good for your image, you just feel less guilty as a resource when pay- day rolls around knowing that you have worked for your money and you’ve actually made a difference and added value. It might feel great skimping on hours and taking shortcuts, but don’t forget- they may not say it but people are watching you…

Can they take a chance on you?

Are you a promising candidate? you can measure this by analyzing then expressing how you being added into the equation of the team will result in some sort of value add- talk numbers if you can… but also, have someone/ people who can vouch for you somewhere somehow so that you look lucrative, as a resource. You must be wanted. People want what they can’t have right? So be wanted haha!

Are you all familiar?

Remember, they can’t take a chance on you if they don’t know you/ about you. In South Africa we call this “udume ngani?” loosely translated means “what are you known for?” and it summates everything, from your reputation to your work ethic.

Do you have grit?

Can you stand the test of time/ can you venture into territories others refuse to go/ are you resilient/ are you willing to take a chance/ is no the end of the conversation or the beginning of a new one for you? All these attributes that show your huger… so important!

So there you have it! a few things to keep in mind to help position yourself and give you the competitive edge to everyone else who aspires for all that your heart also aspires for 🙂

So. I need to send out a HUGE apology to everyone who has gone out on my recommendation to purchase this book which is, in my informed and humble opinion, incredibly overpriced and to be honest a huge piece of American entrepreneur propaganda bullsh*t. Why you ask? lets get to it then!

“I hope the reader gains insight and a competitive edge in an economy where it’s never been easier to be a billionaire but it’s never been harder to be a millionaire.”

– Scott Galloway (Author of The Four)

Scott Galloway is an incredibly well- researched writer in the scope of the four companies he writes about (Facebook, Amazon, Apple and Google) however I personally think that his defense in later chapters of his book regarding why these four companies specifically and why not others was incredibly weak.

Let’s take the one example that I got to that made me throw this book away where he states reasons why Alibaba could never be a company that influences consumer culture. Bullshit right? Cause we know how big Alibaba is and how much of a big deal Jack Ma is from reading ” The house that Jack Ma built“. The author essentially writes off Alibaba based on his ignorant opinion that its not a company that is big enough in America and can therefore never even begin to compete with Amazon. Wait what? I’m not sure who deemed America the centre of the universe but last time I checked Asia has a bigger population than America and Alibaba is highly utilized in China, more so than Amazon. Sooo… how can Amazon be taking over in the bigger scheme of the rest of the world…..? Don’t get me wrong, it is an amazing organization isatin, with an amazing history, however, no corporate, no matter how big and “innovative” is immune to the burning platform syndrome.

As I said, I think the author is well researched but I loathed the ignorance and bias undertones towards a specific region so much that I literally had to throw that book away; it won’t be making it into my collection but it was certainly informative in some areas which were good enough to document.

So in conclusion, if you are looking for fast facts of “the four”, definitely pick this expensive piece of sh*t up, however if you are looking for an objective, well- written observation of who the four leading organizations are that are taking over “the world”- don’t pick this book up. It spits on entrepreneurial efforts of billionaires with successful business models, who don’t fit the stencil of the “American dream”and God knows we don’t need anymore marginalisation in this cold world.

Some highlights and interesting observations below (if you still care to read):

Chapter 1:

55% of people search for a product start on Amazon vs 28% on Google which definitely shows consumer confidence on the platform that is Amazon.

Chapter 2:

“Instinct is a powerful chaperone, always watching and whispering in your ear, telling you what you MUST do to survive”

Galloway sets the scene around consumerism and the role of men and women in this context by referencing Hunters and Gatherers, with a comparison of the modern day man and woman to the Paleolithic and Neolithic people

” if you google biggest mistakes in business history, the majority of results are risks that firms failed to take such as excite and blockbuster passing on acquiring google and Netflix respectively….”

Write up on Amazon’s floating warehouse

Chapter 10-“The Four and You”:

My favorite chapter to be honest! Galloway sneakily starts off with the following phrase

” follow your talent, not your passion”

It’s fantastic and so so relevant! In chapter 10, Galloway basically breaks down the critical components one needs in order to stand out in the 21st century. He highlights the number of “good” graduates there are but goes on to state that “good” is just not good enough to survive the digital age. He breaks down key focus areas one must master/ apply in order to beat the curve, show you have grit, and generate wealth.

These are the sorts of things your mentor must be talking to you about; sharing of insider secrets for your success, Not, “tell me how’s work?”.

page 266: together the horsemen employ 418000 employees- the population of Minneapolis. If you combine the value of the 4 horsemens public shares of stock, it comes to $2.3 trillion. CRAAAAZY…

Well there are a few things I have discovered about this new path in my life…the first one is the realization of the magnitude of the opportunity cost of doing something you should not/ do not want to do; and the second one, much related to the first is, things get a bit clearer when you hit 25 because you no longer have the leisure of time that you once had when you were 18 (yes, 25 is still young you may say, try convincing a rampantly ambitious millennial).

The underlying outcome of both of these realizations is that you get to know yourself a bit better. All of these wild thoughts and ideas I’ve had, and thought I really wanted to achieve, when I look at how valuable time is, I have had to sit myself down, have a DMC and ask “why?”… why is achieving A,B or C so important to me? Yes it generally is a good idea to study further, buy property and get married, but is it a good idea for me and does this generic life- template apply to my life, and why?

While studying and working can be a rewarding experience, Some important things to clarify BEFORE going down that path are:

“Why am I doing this?”

“What do I expect to get out of this experience/ investment?”

“Will the short-term sacrifice lead to MY PERSONAL long-term satisfaction?”

“Can I live with the opportunity cost of my decision?” because you must be able to derive some benefit in the end otherwise its a foolish decision.

The answers to these question, your “why” are exactly the things that will see you through when your fellow classmates are dropping out like flies, when you have 4 hours of sleep for two weeks straight and when you’re lying in your bed stressing about how the hell you’re going to make it through the next 24 hours. Your “why” in conjunction with your sacrifices will truly be worth it, and you will appreciate the journey so much more if you are doing what you are doing because YOU know why, and it isn’t a societally enforced requirement.

“If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and that is why the rewards will be so much sweeter.”

I can tell you right now, working and studying 70% of the time is not fun. You really do miss out on life, quality time with family, giving 110% (unless you are me) at work and still having that time to relax and recoup. My family has coined me as “Miss I don’t have time” because thats the one phrase I say so often this year. All this sacrifice and missed time must really be worth it or else you’re honestly just wasting your time.

The last thing I wanted to touch on was the part around things getting clearer with time. Besides getting a year older, I have had this dull panic around being “somewhere” before my 30s. The self- inflicted pressure is really teaching me how to make decisions over a short period (5 years) and logically think through the pros and cons of my short- term satisfaction vs long term pleasure. Studying and working makes you such an efficient person, your body and mind learn to do things you never thought were humanly possible if you are hungry enough to take yourself there. However, in those extreme states you really learn to quickly see what in your life is a waste of time, what you hate as well as what you truly love. you learn the power of your mind, the power of positive thinking and you also develop the skill of making decisions….quickly.- something I really struggled with as I am an avid rabbit- hole explorer!

I personally still have 7 months to go on my business school journey and I can say with certainty that I love it and it has been one of the best decisions in my life. very challenging but because I am in the right state of mind and my “why” supersedes and doubt, turmoil or stressful situation, the ROI of my experience is exponential.

Wishing all you fellow multi- taskers nothing but the best on your journey! Stay strong and focussed! If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and that is why the rewards will be so much sweeter.