Vince Shlomi Slap Chop’s&#0153 a hooker

Vince Shlomi of Slap Chop/ShamWow fame (Who’s 44?) was apparently arrested last month for punching a hooker after she bit his tongue. The incident went down in Miami and ultimately ended in charges dropped for both parties. Both were shit-faced if you hadn’t guessed already. The Smoking Gun reports:

According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. “Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported.

“Hi, it’s Vince here with Slap Chop and I’m in a great mood today from slapping my troubles away. Look, you love sex, you hate relationships. No problem-Fahget’ about it. Look, here’s a prostitute in Miami-you’re gonna have an exciting life now and for only a $1000 cash. You could pay more, but why? This prostitute is from Miami and you know those Floridians, they always make good stuff. Sure, she might try to bite your tongue off, but watch this America: one slap, two slap, three slap. Look, the prostitute falls right off. Life’s hard enough; ya’ don’t want a prostitute attached to your tongue. We’re gonna make America free from tongue biting prostitutes, One Slap At A Time. “