Latest revision as of 04:29, September 15, 2011

"Nazitubbies is what they should have called it," says Charles Starkweather, home-schooled conservative pundit.

LONDON, England -- Ever since "American cleric and conservative pundit Jerry Falwell claimed in 1999 that Tinky Winky, one of the Teletubbies, was homosexual", [1] the BBC edu-tainment show targeted at one to four year olds has come under increasingly investigatory investigation. A number of the Bat Fuck Righteous and homeschooling advocates, both here and "across the pond" in the States, have uncovered disturbing evidence that the show was, in fact, a tool for the dissemination of Nazi propaganda [2].

"Our toddlers weren't the only target of this conspiracy," says Nathan Muttonsmith of the grass-roots childrens conspiracy network Stop Teaching Our Kids (STUK). He cites an encyclopedic article on the Teletubbies phenomenon;

"Although the show is aimed at children between the ages of one and four, it has a substantial cult following with older generations, mainly university students. The mixture of bright colours, unusual designs, repetitive non-verbal dialogue, ritualistic format, and the occasional forays into physical comedy appealed to a demographic who perceived the show as having psychedelic connotations. Teletubbies was controversial for this reason, and also for a perception that it was insufficiently educational. However, the creators have stated their opinions on the educational value of the show."[3]

Reverend Falwell, meanwhile, has vowed to, "fight this and other evils, like Venezuela, gays and Haitian voodoo devil worshipers, in the Name of Our Lord, Jesus Christ."

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↑Their diet seems to be almost exclusively "Tubby Custard" mispronounced as Tubby Tustard by the characters (which is created by a Tubby Custard machine and consumed by sucking through a spiral straw) and "Tubby Toast" (circular toast with a smiley face on it), and they are spectacularly messy eaters.