1978 - New London, Ct. Just arrived back on land after 3 months underwater. BTW, you should know that subs are not coed. Guess what I was looking for? Showered and shaved, but while shaving, cut my neck pretty bad. Then had the stupidity to slap some Aramis cologne on. Burnt like an S*O*B.

Arrived at the local bar for submariners. Always pretty ladies there, since they knew they'd never have to buy a drink. Locked eyes with a knockout. Long red hair, very, shall we say, ample chest, legs to die for. She let me buy her a drink and invited me to her table. Caught her looking at me a bit strangely, then saw my fellow sub buddies frantically trying to signal me, pointing at their neck. I went to the restroom and lo and behold, I had put a piece of toilet paper on my neck when I cut it shaving. No problem, ripped it off. Went back to join her at the table and before long we were on our way out the door, heading for her place.

But my buddies are still frantically pointing to their necks as I head out the door. No doubt I was bleeding all over my dress whites, but at that point I had other things on my mind.

The next morning, I'm back on the sub, trying to avoid telling all my buddies why I didn't "score" last night. Sure seemed like a sure thing, and as hot, and apparently willing, as she was they'd expect a full report.

As I walk into the galley, the place erupts in laughter. I know now that they know. My best friend filled me in. They weren't worried about my cut neck. They were trying to tell me to look at her neck - her adam's apple to be exact.