The End Is Nigh: 9 Crazy Leftist Predictions for Net Neutrality Repeal

The FCC has repealed Net Neutrality in a 3 – 2 vote, and the world is about to end. Or so you’d think, if you believed left-wing Twitter.

Proponents of the repeal, including FCC chairman Ajit Pai, say that Net Neutrality, which classified internet service providers as “common carriers” who must treat all content equally (even if it takes up more of their resources), was too heavy-handed a regulation and needed reform.

Pai has argued that there was no justification for the Obama administration’s 2015 introduction of Net Neutrality. “The Internet wasn’t broken in 2015” says Pai. “There was no market failure that justified the regulatory sledgehammer of Title II.”

Opponents of the repeal say that it gives ISPs more power to favor their own content, especially streaming services. Comcast, they argue, might choose to make Netflix and YouTube load slower and their own streaming services load faster. Under new FCC rules, however, any such “throttling” of content must be publicly disclosed by ISPs. Furthermore, if ISPs promise not to throttle, as Comcast has done, and then break their promise, the FTC can impose penalties upon them.

It seems like a reasonable disagreement: two sides of a fairly technical debate exchanging legitimate concerns.

And then there are these guys.

1) The End of the Internet As We Know It!

“The End of the Internet As We’ve Known It Since 2015 when Net Neutrality Was Introduced, so About 2 Years Lol” was probably too cumbersome of a headline for CNN.

2) The end of Net Neutrality means the “silencing” of gays and “marginalized communities”

ISPs, as we all know, have three major concerns: broadband infrastructure, bandwidth usage, and the type of genitals your partner has. That’s just how capitalism works.

3) The end of Net Neutrality is an attack on “reproductive freedom”

Yes, this is the true purpose behind Comcast’s evil plan: everyone thinks they’re worried about the huge streaming services that suck up vast amounts of their bandwidth. In reality, their entire business model is dependent on paychecks from the Pro-Life Alliance. Who knew?

4) SUICIDE! ABUSE! MENTAL HEALTH! ANOREXIA! BUZZWORD!

We’re going to need the fire department to deal with takes this hot.

5) The end of Net Neutrality will lead to a new civil war

Watch out guys, he used a 300 animation. I think he’s serious!

6) The end of Net Neutrality is the end of free speech on the internet