Yesterday Marlboro Man and I ran to the big city to shop for his mom and grandma, to pick up a couple of last-minute things for the kids, and to be alone together and have one-on-one conversation without our four precious children, our hungry, demanding cattle herd, or our two malodorous Basset Hounds needing something. And we didn’t “run” to the big city, we drove, which brings me to my point: part of the topic of conversation in Marlboro Man’s pickup was our new wintertime plan—which is to start today—of getting out of bed at 5:00 am so that we can spend an hour working out together before the kids get up and before Marlboro Man needs to go feed cattle. This conversation began after I spent ten minutes lamenting how jiggly I am after a summer and fall of cooking constantly for my cookbook, filming two seasons of a cooking show, and discovering the joys of semi-soft unripened cheeses.

“My jeans are tight, my back fat is violent…” I said. “And I’m at the point where I either need to buy bigger jeans or do something drastic.” So Marlboro Man calmly and without agreeing with my back fat lamentations, which is why I’ll keep him, laid out his prescription of early morning exercise, and committed to joining me in my new fitness regimen so I wouldn’t have to go it alone. Of course, he didn’t empathize much. He is chiseled out of granite and weighs the same as he did when he was seventeen. Not that I’m complaining. Granite’s my favorite.

Two-thirds of the way to the big city, I asked Marlboro Man to pull off the highway and stop at a very busy convenience store so that I could get some coffee. I’m nursing an upper respiratory infection and had been feeling a little draggy, plus the conversation about my getting up at five to work out for an hour really wore me out. So we both went into the convenience store: Marlboro Man headed to the refrigerated case to get a can (not a bottle, as bottles don’t taste right) of Dr Pepper and I headed to the coffee area to fill a large cup with the nectar of life.

It took me awhile to fill my cup because this particular convenience store has a beautiful run of coffee options. You can get French Roast, Columbia Roast, Breakfast Blend, Kona Blend…not to mention all sorts of little squirts of flavor and shots of different forms of cream. I want this coffee area in my house, is what I’m saying. So I stood there and decanted, squirted and decanted some more until I had a great big ol’ cup of beautiful convenience store coffee that was likely extremely caloric but I only had one more day before my new exercise program so I figured I’d go out with a bang.

I headed toward the register. I could see Marlboro Man standing there waiting for me so he could pay for his Dr Pepper and my coffee together because he’s chivalrous that way, and because he has never known me to have a single dollar of cash on my person. The store was packed with other patrons, because it’s a choice location on a busy highway and because it’s an incredibly nice convenience store that offers many coffee choices, many wiener/hot dog choices…and doughnuts. Along my journey to the front of the store, I passed the very large, very impressive and beautiful glass doughnut case and was accosted by a very large, very crisp-and-sweet-looking apple fritter on the top shelf. It tapped me on the shoulder, then it reached out its long, evil fingers and said “Come…come to me.”

Without thinking, I removed an individual square of paper from the dispenser and reached for the knob of the window that was separating me from the apple fritter. I say without thinking because I somehow had completely pushed the entire conversation I’d just had with Marlboro Man about my back fat out of my consciousness. Or if it was at all in my consciousness, I must have rationalized it by reminding myself that I only had one more day to party before my 5 a.m. boot camp began, or even that apple fritters are actually a healthy doughnut option. They have fruit in them, after all.

I pulled the knob to the right, thinking the door would slide to open, but it met with a tiny bit of resistance. I had Christmas shopping on my mind—what size top I should get Edna Mae and how I wanted to find a perfume counter and sniff all the men’s cologne—so I inexplicably pulled backward on the knob, possibly thinking that the door opened by flipping up rather than sliding over. Then, suddenly, a horrible sound crashed through the heavily trafficked convenience store when the entire tempered glass front of the beautiful doughnut case shattered into thirteen million tiny, sparkly pieces. The sound was deafening and seemed to happen in slow motion, as if a house of glass sitting on a frozen lake had fallen down wall by wall. I stood there in shock, not knowing what to do. Glass was everywhere: in the doughnuts, on the floor, in the adjacent sandwich case, in my boots, into which I’d tucked my jeans. And the small stainless knob was still in my hand.

Customers ran over to see what had happened, my husband among them. And when he saw me standing there in the middle of a sea of tempered glass, a small knob in my hand, the now-exposed array of doughnuts right in front of me, and a look of horror and confusion on my face, he had but two questions for me:

“Are you okay?

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

“I wanted a doughnut.”

By now the manager, assistant manager, cashier, assistant cashier, and probably all their friends and relatives had rushed over to the scene. The manager wanted to first make sure I was okay.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” the nice gentleman said. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Still holding the knob, I answered, “Yes. My pride is hurt. It is badly, badly injured.”

But other than that, I told him, I was totally fine, and may I please borrow a broom and a shop vac so I can whisk all this away and pretend it never happened? I noticed a woman out of the corner of my eye. She had her hand over her mouth.

“Oh, we’ll take care of it,” the manager said. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m absolutely fine,” I insisted. “I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was reaching for an apple fritter…the next minute…” I shook my head in disbelief.

I immediately felt better. I’m not the only person who’d shattered the doughnut case at this convenience store. All was suddenly better now. But then I did something I can’t explain. I instinctively began reaching for the apple fritter. I don’t think I actually had any control over this action. I didn’t logically believe I should get the apple fritter; I think it was a desperate attempt to just carry on and pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened. Or maybe I really just wanted a doughnut.

That’s when the assistant manager stepped in. “Oh, ma’am…you can’t have a doughnut now,” she said.

I know she was just trying to protect my gastrointestinal tract from glass shards, but at the time she said it I felt like a little girl who had just been grounded from round, delightful yeast treats. It took me a minute to realize she was just gently reminding me not to hurt myself. My face felt hot.

After several minutes of offering to help clean up and insisting on paying for the broken glass and trying to figure out what country I was going to move to once I left the store, I finally made my way to the counter so that Marlboro Man could finally pay for my coffee. But when we got there, the cashier held up his hand and said, “Don’t worry about it—no charge.” I think he wanted me to leave as soon as humanly possible.

When we got in Marlboro Man’s pickup and continued on our trip to the big city, I looked at Marlboro Man, who had a look on his face that I’ll never be able to describe. It was the look of a husband who is married to a complete klutz who complains about her tight jeans then stops at a convenience store and shatters a doughnut case while trying to retrieve an apple fritter. It was the look of a husband who has seen his wife fall down, run into doors, use the wrong remote control to change channels on the TV, and wear her black leggings inside out for an entire day without knowing. It was the look of a husband who had just filed another incident into his vault of similar moments…and who couldn’t wait to remind me of it the next time we’re driving together and I say I want to pull over and get coffee.

“You’re…funny,” he said, reaching over and squeezing my knee, which made me squeal.

Then we continued to the city and went Christmas shopping.

As for lessons I learned from this incident, I took away two:

1. That’s what I get for trying to eat a doughnut.

2. I’m never leaving the house again.

I hope you all have a joyful day. Merry Christmas Eve Eve!
Pioneer Woman

1616 Comments and 45 Replies

Judy On Friday, December 23 at 10:48 pm

I ‘m so sorry for laughing so hard at you…you are so cute and so funny. Made my day and your spouse is a treasure. I cannot watch The Preachers Wife too much.

1102

Linda On Friday, December 23 at 10:52 pm

HILARIOUS! Priceless story.

1103

patimk On Friday, December 23 at 10:55 pm

This made my day or should I say night because it’s already almost 11:00 p.m. Funny, funny.

1104

joey On Friday, December 23 at 10:55 pm

HA! Back Fat!! I have it too. I went to a gas station to get some milk today and when I walked by the donuts, I almost wanted to cry. I couldn’t open the case. I just knew that I’d knock it over

1105

Tiffany M. On Friday, December 23 at 10:56 pm

This post made me laugh out loud (which is not ideal as I just put our sleeping baby (who shares our room with us) in his crib)….my point being not much makes me laugh out loud when I am trying not to wake the little guy! Great post…glad I am not the only klutz in this great big world of ours! Merry Christmas

1106

Eva On Friday, December 23 at 11:01 pm

Thank God, for a moment I thought you were going to give us a donut recipe (wink)…

Kim On Friday, December 23 at 11:07 pm

Lordy Ree, I thought I was the only one who had things like that happen to her! lol…

1109

Marisa Toomey On Friday, December 23 at 11:12 pm

Thanks for sharing. Put a much needed smile on my face.Sounds like something that would happen to me!

1110

Jannie Bryant On Friday, December 23 at 11:15 pm

Thank you for making me laugh and sympathize at the same time after a particular brutal day of working. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!

1111

Jennifer M On Friday, December 23 at 11:19 pm

Oh My word. I almost peed my pants reading this. Actually, I did pee just a little.

1112

KYinAZ On Friday, December 23 at 11:27 pm

My husband rests easier knowing there is another husband out there dealing with a gravitationally challenged wife. I feel for ya.

1113

Dakota On Friday, December 23 at 11:38 pm

Thank you Ree. I feel that now, I am not the only clumsy woman in the world. My day was just made lets say 82.54646% better by this. We all have those moments.

1114

Liz T On Saturday, December 24 at 12:14 am

I did the same thing to my oven door! I decided I would take the door apart and give it a good cleaning. NOT a good idea! LOL! I’m sure I had the same look on my face that you described. Total shock! The worst part was I had to go tell my husband so he could order a new door.

1115

Wendy On Saturday, December 24 at 12:17 am

This has to be my all time favorite story of yours Ree! I’m laughing so hard. I can relate to the lure of a donut. I remember looking at a donut display once and I didn’t watch where I was walking and I crashed right into a bunch of shopping carts. I tell ya, donuts are a dangerous, hypnotizing thing!

1116

piper On Saturday, December 24 at 12:28 am

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this story!! It could almost be a small book! It sounds so much like something that would happen to me…and your husband’s reaction was classic!
When I was pregnant with one of my 5 pregnancies, I got a craving for an “old home” cinnamon roll, the kind that comes in a foil pan and you can warm them up. (My Dad is the one to blame for me liking them btw…) Anyway, I didn’t want my husband to know, so I just ate 2 or 3 of them cold (hiding in my car) and stashed the rest under the seat of the car so it could be my little secret (and a secret stash). Well, as my luck would have it, the next day my husband just happened to look for something in the car, and marched into the house with my cinnamon rolls in hand, and gave me this “look”. I felt so much SHAME!!! Needless to say, I didn’t live that one down for quite some time. But my husband really was great, he didn’t really care, it was mostly me.

1117

Katrina E On Saturday, December 24 at 1:01 am

I totally needed this post. I had the longest day at the hospital trying to fix everyone else problems and this post just made me laugh till I almost peed myself. Such good stress relief. thank you. Oh and apple fritters are totally worth the trouble. mmmmm

1118

CA Girl On Saturday, December 24 at 1:02 am

Oh my gosh–that is sooo funny! I can so relate to the clumsy part. You are not alone!

1119

Maggie On Saturday, December 24 at 1:09 am

Oh goodness, that was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. And not so funny because it actually happened to you, and I can envision doing the exact same thing. You are hilarious!! have a wonderful Christmas with your beautiful family!!

1120

Christina in MN On Saturday, December 24 at 1:11 am

Roflmao
Never underestimate the power of a fruit filled fried piece of dough.

I just wanted to say this story brought tears to my eyes…and not from laughter, although I did find it hilarious. It’s just that you were going on about what a klutz/mess you can be and how Marlboro Man leaned over to squeeze your knee. Despite everything you think about yourself, he loves you, and I just fell apart. That was so beautiful! In a weird, backwards way…

And now I’m a weepy mess with runny mascara and a sniffly nose. Thanks, Ree.

1122

Kay On Saturday, December 24 at 1:29 am

Don’t ever quit writing about your experiences. Your story has left me in stitches. I am up at 1:45 and can’t sleep. We just finished our third family get together at our house. I’m tired and a little punchy. I just got out of bed to get on facebook. It was well worth getting up just to read your story. Just make a batch of donuts yourself; I’m sure they will be much better. But, definitely not as exciting.

1123

Lisa S On Saturday, December 24 at 1:32 am

Thank you for a great laugh today. You inspire me to learn to laugh at myself more I do hope this won’t keep you away from apple fritters in the future.

1124

Elizabeth On Saturday, December 24 at 1:50 am

This makes me cry! You are so hilarious, Ree, and so lovely for sharing such an embarrassing story.

1125

Martha On Saturday, December 24 at 2:00 am

And this is why we keep coming back! You are so normal and unashamed!

1126

karela On Saturday, December 24 at 2:17 am

There’s just something about you that makes millions of people love you Ree. I’m glad that Marlboro Man is the chief lover. Have a Merry Christmas!

R.O.F.L!!! This gave me the best chuckle I’ve had all week! Before you even said it I imagined you standing there with the knob still in your hand just frozen in disbelief! ROFL once again! ;-D

1128

MTafel On Saturday, December 24 at 4:48 am

Oh I needed a laugh! Thank you so much for sharing!!
That flush of shame…makes my skin prickle. I think we have all been there. Thank you so much for sharing your stories like a best friend! You have the most wonderful gift of storytelling! MM’s hand on your knee…I died! HA!
Have a fabulous and wonderful Merry Christmas! And here is to getting
all our barn chores done so we can make it to my parents house Christmas morning.
Merry Christmas from central NY everyone!

1129

Victoria On Saturday, December 24 at 4:49 am

he’s right, you know. DP out of a bottle does taste funny. It has to be in a can or I don’t want it. DP snob, I guess.

Dyepotgirl On Saturday, December 24 at 5:08 am

Oh my gosh poor Ree! That story is just too freaking funny though I’m sorry to say. I thought I was the only one who did crap like that LOL! It’s those darn apple fritters. If you had gone for a Head and Tail Light or a Cruller, that would never have happened. My husband has a stockpile of similar stories about me also, but that’s ok because I have a bunch of stories about him. It’s a good thing that we can laugh at ourselves, but I really hate those moments where you are standing there wishing that the Earth would open up and swallow you whole.
I cracked up at the Merry Christmas Eve Eve. My son has been saying that since he was old enough to understand what Christmas Eve was. Even though he’s grown up now, he still tells us Merry Christmas Eve Eve. I didn’t know anyone else said that. He’ll be tickled pink! Merry Christmas and I hope you have a wonderful day with your family. Just stay away from the Apple Fritters. They’re evil I tell you!

1132

bob On Saturday, December 24 at 5:22 am

1100+ comments! what is the record

1133

Cathy I On Saturday, December 24 at 5:25 am

Ha Ha Ha! One of your best qualities is the ability to make fun of and laugh at yourself. Keep it up Ree. Have a great Christmas.

1134

Amy T On Saturday, December 24 at 6:06 am

That was the best story ever! Thanks for brightening this day and many others!!
Merry Christmas!!

1135

Marcia S. On Saturday, December 24 at 6:14 am

I’m sorry Ree but…I am cracking up!!! I’ve had something similar happen to me and I know the feeling of “oh my gosh what should I do”. And you just stand there in shock and you can’t move. I mean you just know that it is the end of the world at the moment. But, don’t worry honey it’s ok. Just think nobody you know actually saw it except for the hub’s. Of course the only thing that you have to worry about is him telling someone or everybody. But, then all you can do is laugh about it.

1136

Laura D. On Saturday, December 24 at 6:26 am

Oh, Ree….. I am laughing my back fat off at you, here in my home office. You made my total day. It’s nice to know there are other klutz’s…other than me….inhabiting convenience stores all over Oklahoma. It’s very comforting to know. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Ho Ho HO HA HA HA.

Dena G On Saturday, December 24 at 6:45 am

That was just what I needed. I was not having a great day. Working too much and trying to get ready for Christmas was really getting to me. I had a good laugh .Thankyou Ree and Merry Christmas .

1140

Susan R On Saturday, December 24 at 7:05 am

OMG I love that story! My favorite part is when you still went for the fritter.

1141

Annettemck On Saturday, December 24 at 7:15 am

Ha ha ha ha ha! You are such a funny person and a great writer. Thank you for the gift of laughter today!

1142

Phoebe On Saturday, December 24 at 7:15 am

You make me laugh so hard…love this story! I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

1143

Kim W On Saturday, December 24 at 7:19 am

Oh my goodness, I could not stop laughing…Have a Merry Christmas

1144

Rachel On Saturday, December 24 at 7:24 am

great story! literally laughed out loud (LLOL?)!

1145

carkye On Saturday, December 24 at 7:26 am

I just love you…Merry Christmas!

1146

juniper On Saturday, December 24 at 7:30 am

Wow, now that’s a story! All of us old married girls are laughing ourselves silly right now. MM’s response shows so much about his love for you!

1147

Marie On Saturday, December 24 at 7:41 am

Oh Ree, I want to thank you for making my day! Marlboro Man was right, you ARE funny. Thanks for sharing a very humiliating time with us and just keeping it real on a crazy day.

1148

Christine On Saturday, December 24 at 7:46 am

You just described my life! That would be me and my husband, but I don’t stop for convenience store coffee. We have to many Starbucks in the area. My husband tells me everyday, “Don’t hurt yourself!”

1149

Belinda On Saturday, December 24 at 7:47 am

That’s awesome! Your stories definitely are better than mine, but things like that happen to me ALL THE TIME! (I know, I should have added the “OF” in that sentence.) It keeps me from going crazy and it makes me laugh … Keep on keeping on sister! Merry Christmas

Thank you for sharing. I needed to read this story. I was feeling very depressed this morning. I am trying to become an accidental country girl. And things aren’t working out very well. But this made me smile. It made me giggle. It made me laugh out loud. And then it made me cry. Now I want a donut. And some of that amazing convenience store coffee.

1151

NorthwoodsCatie On Saturday, December 24 at 7:51 am

Merry Christmas Eve, Ree! Happy Doughnuts, too!

1152

Jackie M On Saturday, December 24 at 8:01 am

Thanks for making me laugh out loud with this one!!

1153

hippie4ever On Saturday, December 24 at 8:05 am

What a husband Wonderfully told.

1154

Alida also from South africa On Saturday, December 24 at 8:07 am

I once picked up a photo frame in a very fancy upmarket gift shop. The glass slid out(not my fault) and smashed on the floor. A very tightlipped shop assistant(maybe owner) told me very firmly that I broke it and will have to replace the glass, phoned the glass people to tell them that I am on the way and to please cut the glass according to the measurements she gave them. Well I went to the glass shop, got the glass, paid for it, took it to the gift shop where she put the new glass in the frame. I felt like something the cat dragged in and never ever went into that shop again. After a few months the shop had to close down – heh! If the assistant/owner had been more friendly and not so uppity snooty I’m sure the shop would still be running today. Hello to Karin from South Africa at the top of the comments.

1155

Deb On Saturday, December 24 at 8:13 am

Ok so first of all, you are a hoot and I have this kind of stuff happen to me all the time. Just consider yourself very talented like me. Secondly and most importantly I would give my eye teeth to be able to write it all down and be as funny as you were. That my dear is a gift!!! Loved the post and sadly at your expense it made me feel better about myself, since now I know I’m not the only one.

Melissa On Saturday, December 24 at 8:24 am

My robe’s collar is wet with the tears I have spilled from laughing out loud at this story. As your husband so correctly proclaimed, “you’re funny”! Thanks for the laugh to start this day. Merry Christmas Ree.

1159

Lucky W On Saturday, December 24 at 8:25 am

Oh My Gosh! You two sound exactly like us! I am such a klutz too. And he, thankfully, is not. Two in one household would be tragic. He is chiseled. I am fluffy (though I prefer other treats to donuts). Thanks for the major laughs this morning!

melissa On Saturday, December 24 at 8:37 am

I had to laugh because when I was reading the part where you look up at a woman in the store who has her hand over her mouth….at that same moment I had MY hand over my mouth while reading this. Thanks for sharing because this is something that would most likely happen to me.

Happy Holidays!

1163

Karen A. On Saturday, December 24 at 8:39 am

Oh Ree! I feel for you. But your ability to put this all into words–amazing. I was giggling so hard I was crying. My poor husband came rushing over thinking something was wrong!

1164

JanetM On Saturday, December 24 at 8:40 am

PW– you sure bring a story to life! I could picture our own convenience store with coffee and the same glass case. And….I’m sure your doughnuts are better anyway!

1165

Stephanie On Saturday, December 24 at 8:41 am

God Love ya!!! Merry Christmas to you and your family!!

1166

Lisa in Minnesota On Saturday, December 24 at 8:43 am

Seriously, I think this is the best present I will get this holiday. Nothing like the gift of gut-busting laughter. So thank you. And Merry Christmas!

1167

katydid On Saturday, December 24 at 8:46 am

Sadly, this only makes me want to go out and get a donut. What does that say about me?
Thanks for the laugh.

1168

janelle On Saturday, December 24 at 8:52 am

why is it the earth never opens up and swallows us up when we really need it? I’ve often wondered this myself during humiliating moments of my life. probably so we can live thru moments and laugh at ourselves later and share the story.

and if this had happened before, the case should have been replaced with plastic, not more glass.

1169

Renee On Saturday, December 24 at 8:53 am

Oh Ree…you are such a talented writer and such a funny gal. I was laughing out loud reading this and had to read aloud several sections to my husband as we sit here sipping our coffee. You are so real and genuine…keep up the good work!

1170

Kimma On Saturday, December 24 at 9:06 am

You know whats so funny? My husband almost always has that look on his face so I knew exactly what you were talking about. I once backed up against a wall at our daughters dance class bringing the entire shelf crashing on top of me along with all the dance clothes, hair ties, etc. But I did what any good wife would do and faked an injury so he wouldn’t look at me like that. Ha! Just kidding!

1172

Dixie On Saturday, December 24 at 9:06 am

Get a zumba dvd. I just started because it has worked wonders for some of my friends. And it’s so much fun!! The kids would love all that dancing too.
My grandchildren, who are 6 and 7 years old are taking a class at their rec center in N. Carolina–just got a video from their dad. They are really good.

Munchiedog On Saturday, December 24 at 9:27 am

I thought that kind of thing only happened to me! What I love about you is that you tell us all about it–every detail.

1180

Erin S. On Saturday, December 24 at 9:37 am

Thank you thank you for the laugh — tears in my eyes!
Your honesty is endearing… and so is your husband!

1181

ret On Saturday, December 24 at 9:43 am

Absolutely hilarious! I love your relationship, you two are a hoot! Merry Christmas!

1182

Patrice behnstedt On Saturday, December 24 at 9:44 am

Too funny sounds like something that would happen to me:) But now I want to run diown to Publix and get a doughnut, will let the staff help me there.

1183

Pamela Boe On Saturday, December 24 at 9:47 am

I love you, Ree! You are so HUMAN, and remind us all that we can love ourselves and eachother not just Despite our foibles, but BECAUSE of them. I agree with Ladd….you ARE funny! And who doesn’t prefer a funny Ree to a serious one? God Bless you, and Merry Merry Christmas, Dear!

1184

Paula B. On Saturday, December 24 at 9:52 am

I’m not sure what to say first, glad you’re okay, sorry you never got that fritter, and it must have been just the worst moment…I do have to say, however, that this – as you wrote it, is was one of the funniest things I have ever read. I’m glad you are married to a guy like MM, it takes a special man to handle situations like that, calmly and with a sense of humor. Take care the rest of the holidays!

1185

Darlene On Saturday, December 24 at 9:55 am

Oh boy! I feel your pain. And I know you have possibly the best man on the planet.
Merry, Merry!

1186

Connie Westbrook On Saturday, December 24 at 9:56 am

LOL!!! That is seriously the BEST belly laugh I’ve had in a very long time! You just added years to my life!

1187

Natasha On Saturday, December 24 at 9:58 am

I am sooo needing to move to your side of the world … just so i can ran into you at the store lol … ok that was creepy stalkery lol… Merry Christmas Ree and to you and your family may you have a blessed and MORE amazing 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1188

Karen Cupcake On Saturday, December 24 at 10:05 am

Thank you so much for the morning giggles!!!!!!!!!!!

1189

Susan On Saturday, December 24 at 10:24 am

Whoa! Talk about negative reinforcement…!

1190

jenny w. On Saturday, December 24 at 10:30 am

The picture of everyone running to see what happened reminded me of a similar incident. In the first couple years that we were married, my dear husband and I were “bummin” at our local K-Mart. Being young and poor this is what we sometimes did on a Friday night. Now, you must understand that my husband’s nickname is Curious George. We were walking past the television sets. We didn’t own a set at the time so we were browsing. Dear Curious George decided he wanted to know what would happen if you unplugged a television from the little black box behind. All the alarms went off and everyone came runnings. Including the pharmicist.

Just the other day, I walked INTO the store and the alarms went off. Come to find out, you now have to remove a certain label from coats that you purchase or you will go off at every story. My dear Curious George wanted to keep the little tag so that he could make alarms go off ON PURPOSE! Quite the opposite of me. I’d rather hide in the corner.

1191

Missy Waluch On Saturday, December 24 at 10:31 am

Bless!

1192

Joan On Saturday, December 24 at 10:38 am

A little late, but I just read this post and was crying, I was laughing so hard! It made perfect sense to me that you’d continue to reach for the fritter after shattering glass over it…I’d do the same! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Ree!

This story is why I read your blog. It makes me feel like I have a kindred klutzy spirit! haha I would have tried to grab the doughnut too!

1194

Wendy On Saturday, December 24 at 10:44 am

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I’m another one you made laugh out loud, with tears in my eyes. Some of the tears were of sympathy, because as hilarious as this story is (and you tell it so well!), there must have been a certain element of horror as it was happening. We are all so grateful that you are a good sport and can turn it into a great tale for us!