Then I head into the washroom to freshen up before heading home for the day - after an afternoon of lecturing - and notice. That. My. Fly. Is. Open.

Zipper. DOWN.

As it must have been for, oh, the previous couple of hours. During which time I:

1) Chatted with a colleague outside the student union building;

2) Met with three different students, seeking help on assignments;

3) Conducted an hour-long lecture on the thought of Karl Marx.

IN FRONT OF 50+ UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS.

NOT BEHIND A LECTERN.

So, of course, I had to spend the next half-hour in the washroom, assuming every conceivable lecture-posture and examining the effects of said postures on visibility of open fly (hands in pockets - fly gapes open; arms folded over chest - fly gapes open; pacing - fly gapes open.)

I ceased posturing when a faculty member from the Department of Economics came in and raised her eyebrows at me, and immediately set about washing my hands, quite unnecessarily.

It was at that point - my attention momentarily diverted from my crotch - that I noticed that I had suddenly sprouted a giant zit on the very frontmost tip of my nose. And became immediately obsessed with figuring out whether that zit had been there throughout My Afternoon of Zipless Stupidity or had just sprouted, and, then, whether the presence of a giant zit on the nose of a zipless lecturer might distract from her state of ziplessness.

I concluded that it all just sucked. I remain committed to that conclusion. Am silly, and slovenly, and none too happy about it.

So tomorrow morning I get on plane with my zit and travel to Kentucky whereupon I will meet good friends and speak publicly and generally expose myself to further opportunities for embarassment. Feelin' good about that.

Nothing like a double dose of the stupids AND the uglies to nuke one's self-confidence.

Tomorrow will be a better day. But I'll be sticking to skirts, just in case.

I've had enough embarassing stuff happen to me in front of students to dwell on it too long. The best was when I sat on the edge of a desk that apparently had its legs set a bit too far inside. The desk tipped, my coffee flew and spilled all over my overhead transparencies (smearing my notes on the author), I almost fell, the desk rebounded and hit my ass, causing me to injure my back. Nothing has ever seemed quite so bad since.

I went a few hours today with a big moustache of blackcurrant apple juice. I was out with a mom & baby group which meets weekly so they are not my best mates but still. Can't they just say "you have a blue moustache"? Or "you have something" [point point]

(And, Shannon, gah. I might have died a worse death had one of my STUDENTS approached to point out the fly. At least as things stand I can PRETEND that it might not have happened. But I take your point. :))

And I'm NOT laughing AT you, I'm laughing in close proximity to you but AT the memory of something else funny on your blog...am I selling this at all? ...didn't think so.Careful with the skirt, cos tucking the back up into your panties is way worse than any old open fly.

like mouse I have had more embarassing moments in front of students than I care to remember.Skirts particularly worry me though bc of that ditty "As you climb the ladder of success, don't let the boys look up your dress"have a great conference.

Hey, I hope you don't think "sticking to skirts" is the safer option! Lots more opportunity for embarassment: skirt tucked into underwear/pantyhose/tights, skirt turning on it's own so zipper is not in centre of the butt, static, revealing too much during leg repositioning... dude stick to pants with no zipper!

See, this is still far less embarrasing than the time I accidentally wore a sheer top to classes in university with a truly whory bra (truly, truly. It was nipple-exposing, for one.) underneath. I suddenly realized that I JUST DON'T GET THAT MUCH MALE ATTENTION NORMALLY. I still blush to think about it. I hope that makes you feel better. Your fly may have been down, but at least you didn't look like a tart.

People: I have indeed tucked a skirt into my pantyhose, right up the back, remianing blissfully unaware for blocks and blocks of city-walking until catcing a glimpse of my full profile - with full bunched-up bum-line - in a shop window.

I have also burst into song while reviewing my notes during a break in a lecture, and I have lectured with blouse-button popped open.

Oh yeah. I was actually a witness to a skirt-tucked-in-the-pantyhose near disaster. In fact, it was on my prom night and the unwittingly exposed girl was the PROM QUEEN and one of the "popular crowd". She was touching up her makeup in the bathroom mirror as I was coming out of a stall.

As one of the resident brainiac-geek crowd, I cannot tell you the sheer scope of the moral dilemma THAT scenario presented.

Finally, I just reached over and gently tugged her hem out of her waistband.

Sigh. I am such a goody-goody. But trust me, stick with pull-on, no-fly PANTS. Much safer.

This is my first visit to your blog (thank Urban Urchin!), and this is why I'll be back:

"So, of course, I had to spend the next half-hour in the washroom, assuming every conceivable lecture-posture and examining the effects of said postures on visibility of open fly (hands in pockets - fly gapes open; arms folded over chest - fly gapes open; pacing - fly gapes open.)"

You are someone I understand at a deep and profound level.

And you know that skirts are no safer--they get tucked into your underwear and all.

That happened to me when I was making a small presentation on behalf of the organization I work for. I was the "public face" of that organization and I totally went through my whole professional schpeal with my fly down! I kept hoping they hadn't noticed...not likely...I was sitting 2 ft away from them in an intimate meeting...legs crossed, uncrossed...oh well.

Also, this seems to always happen to me at church these days. Just another charming aspect of my frumpy dumpy mommy fashion.

I have done that before! Last week I wandered out of the rest room at work with the bottom of my skirt tucked up under & my undies hanging out. Luckily, only a couple of people saw me before someone took mercy on me. But now there's a rumor going around that I've been drinking in the office!

I was walking across a busy intersection when the wind blew my skirt up. This only looks good for Marilyn Monroe. What makes this story even better was the guy stopped at the red light leans out his window and yells, "Next time wear underwear."

For the record I was wearing underwear. It's just that I had a hungry bum. ugh.

I think (a) students are so focused on their own gig that it's unlikely they noticed anything past the ends of their own noses, and (b) the best of us are trained to never notice any amiss things like that---seeing as how we've btdt and there but for the grace...and all that.

Just make sure the skirt is long enough they can't see up it and doesn't bunch into your undies...

Gah. There are times all the growing up and achievements and getting more comfy just don't matter and it's all grade 9 again, isn't it? I have on occasion had that same kind of "oh shit" moment after a whole morning at the ref desk or doing class visits. It sucks.

I recommend a long scarf - this of it as part uniform / part towel - it serves a number of purposes [for me] disguises and distracts from scraggy neck, introduces 'interest' to an otherwise dull 'outfit' can also be used as a hanky if really desperate, especially small and pustulating spots, and may indeed start a new fashion trend if you tuck it into your fly inadvertently.Hope you had a great tripCheers

When I was in university, I remember a male professor lecturing with his zipper down. What made it all the sillier was that the end of one of his shirt tails was protruding from his unzipped trousers JUST SO. Ahem.

Oh my...I had to take notes, not LOOK there, and especially not make eye contact with any classmates which would have completely UNDONE me.

Don't worry I didn't notice that you were flying low all lecture ;) Your blog however was an excellent form of procrastination whilist writing my essay :) I had a good laugh at this story (which is funny in hindsight.) I'm glad to see that lecturers are normal people with a sense of humor.