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I've been tormented over narrative mode for years now, ever since I first started thinking about it. Are there any rules of thumb for determining what mode to work in? Please! Can't it just be that easy! Please!

I just had a comment post turn into a story. It came out third-person something-the-other present. I generally hate present tense, but being born of a comment it kinda works(?).

I'll be incorporating the events into an existing work-in-progress. Should I stick with the present tense or change it to fit the past tense of the other segments?

There is no rule of thumb that determines what narrative mode will work for you. Just keep it simple and ask yourself: what is my purpose in writing.

If you want to make it really personal, for the reader to be heavily attached to the writer and/or highly privy to his thoughts - First person may be your best option.

If you won't have a lot of thoughts and reflections going on, but you still want to keep a decently strong attachment between the reader and the protagonist - Second person will work.

If you want less attachment to individual characters and instead want to work on a lively atmosphere of interconnecting stories (with the ability of changing scenes with versatility) - the Third person will definitely support your style.

But these boundaries are not well defined, and you'll have to experiment with each to find which one is appropriate for each specific work.

As for tenses: I find the present tense to be annoying and unconventional. However, the present tense has created some of the most beautiful language that I have ever read. So it's a double edged sword that also relies on personal preference. Nonetheless, I would strongly advise against mixing the tenses in a body of work. This may produce an nauseating effect, and may leave your reader thinking that you are simply bad at grammar - lots of kids when they just learn how to write do that accidentally.

But remember, nothing which I have written is a solid commandment. A good writer can pull off anything, even mixing present and past tense, for that matter. I've actually seen writers mix narrative style often in writing, creating a pleasing effect. So, I'm not here to put any restrictions on creativity, but hopefully just to enlighten you a bit and to get you thinking. As a writer, you must solve your stylistic problems on your own, its the fun part of the journey and personal development. Find a solution soon, and get writing!

My tendency to drop into first person is probably due to my coming from a poetry background. The shift to prose has been confusing.
I do tend to dance between tenses, and yeah, it must be nauseating for the audience.

And finally, I believe in restrictions, I think they lead creativity, again probably because of poetry—a good form goes a long way toward a solid work.

LeBomb is right. Not much to add. I understand where you are coming from, as a fellow poet/ story writer. Personally I like to try and switch up the way I write my stories. I have a couple that are reading from a journal. Others are first, but my favorite is to think of an unlikely story teller, and have it from their view, such as restructuring one of my works so that the space ship is the one telling the story. Have fun with it, and remember that the worse that can happen is you have to rewrite something to make it work better.