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Topic: The most shameful moment of my life - trying to hold it in (Read 450 times)

How some people get their kicks with other peoples downfalls, this guy on reddit.com wants to know have you ever shit yourself in public, if you have i would hardly think you would be making it public on a website.There you go ... here's the post.

Have you ever shit yourself in public?

I don't mean as a child either, I mean as a person who on most days can control their bowels. I just want to hear about that one time something went horribly wrong.

My story: I woke up late for class one morning, as usual, and had to rush out of the house. Before I did, I ate waffles coated in syrup with a glass of milk. (Mistake number one) As I'm walking to the bus stop I feel my stomach start to rumble a bit, but I think nothing of it because it wasn't really that terrible. Once on the bus I feel it again, and with every bump this bus hit, my stomach got angrier and angrier.

About 15 minutes into the ride I knew I needed to find a bathroom quickly, or horrible things would happen, so I devised a plan. I would stop at the mall that is en route to the train I take to school, run in, take a quick poop and be done with it. Obstacle 1: There is a drawbridge going from where I live to where the mall is. Of course, this particular morning, the bridge is up. We sat for what was an agonizing ten minutes waiting for the biggest, slowest piece of shit boat to pass.

At this point I'm sweating profusely and squirming trying to hold this immense shit in. The bridge finally closes, and the driver is speeding down the avenue. "Everything’s going to be okay!" I thought.

The stop for the mall comes up. I get off, dart across four lanes of oncoming traffic like a shit filled Frogger, and head to the doors. Obstacle 2: I can't fuc*ing remember where the bathroom is. And it's coming. NOW. I get to the directory, look for a bathroom sign, nothing. I'm seconds away, and I remember there is a McDonalds inside the mall.

It was too late. 9 AM, standing in front of a mall directory, I full on shit my pants. It was literally the worst feeling I've ever had. I make it to the McDonalds bathroom with people staring at me as I'm trying to hide my face in shame and I call my father who proceeds to ridicule me over the phone for 5 minutes before leaving the house.

I'm standing in a McDonalds bathroom, naked from the waist down, wiping shit off my legs with whatever I could find. Paper towels, my jeans, a sweatshirt, anything. I seem to have gotten it all, but I'm still standing there half naked and I keep hearing employees coming in and out, finally asking if I was okay or needed assistance. One by one they did this over the course of a half hour. Leaving that bathroom when pants finally arrived had to be the most shameful moment of my life. I still hate going to that mall because I'm afraid someone is going to recognize me.

Best comment from ItsGotToMakeSenseGuy poops himself on skis LOL

Yes. On fuc*ing skis.I was about 18 or 19 or so at the time. I had eaten something that didn't agree with me, but was holding in as best I could for a couple of hours.To those of you who haven't skied, it is a bitch to get out of your gear. You have to unclip the skis, lock them at a stand, take off the gigantic robocop boots, unzip your ski bibs(The bas*ard child of a fat winter coat and a pair of overalls) and only then can you begin to take off your pants. So this is why I chose to hold back the inevitable. I just didn't feel like going through all of that until I was done for the night.

So anyway, I was halfway down the bunny slope(still learning) and felt that distinctive gurgle. My gastrointestinal alert system was screaming "RED ALERT RED ALERT EVACUATION IMMINENT" and I did my best to get to the bottom of the slope. I tightened up as best I could... but to slow my descent, I had to angle my skis inward. This had the opposite effect on my rear; as the front of my feet pointed in, the rear of my legs pointed out and thus released the flood valve on the rectal dam.

A torrent burst forth, flooding my tightey whiteys.Grimly determined, I put on my game face and made my way to the lodge. I threw my skis to the side without even locking them, and then walked (a bit like a cowboy having just dismounted from a particularly bumpy horseback ride) up to the stairs. Now, the bathroom was on the second floor, and not only that but I was still wearing giant robocop boots which were too big for the steps. This meant that I had to walk sideways up the steps. Picture in your mind what that looks and feels like; I'll sum it up by saying it ensured maximum coverage.