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R.I.P. Buddy
January 14, 2002
The Top 10 Passages from the Pet Bible
10> "Blessed are the pee-makers: they shall mark the Earth for
their possession"
9> "As ye chew, so shall ye rip."
8> "And in her 414th dog year, Snowball begat Fluffy, Duke and
Bowser. The descendants of Bowser were Skippy, Spot, and
Rover."
7> "What shall it profit a dog should he gain the whole world
yet lose his own bowl?"
6> "Bind thy Owner's name and phone number as a sign upon thy
Collar, and inscribe thy scent upon the doorposts of thine
house and on thy gates."
5> "Thou shalt covet thy master's dinner."
4> "Whine, and you shall receive; scratch, and the door shall
be opened."
3> "In the beginning was the word, and the word was 'who wants
to go walkies?'"
2> "Give a man a fish and he will have to buy an aquarium."
and the Number 1 Passage from the Pet Bible...
1> "Moses said 'let my people go' and Pharaoh's heart was
softened, but no law could be made for his signet ring
had been hidden by the plague of ferrets."
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 42 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today's Top5 Pets List authors are:
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RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- 1 (Good boy! 1st #1)
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA -- 2, 8
Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, NY -- 3
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 4, 7, 9 (Purr-fecta!)
Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 5
Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ -- 6, 8
Susanne Turner, Louisville, KY -- 10
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA -- Topic, Runner Up list name
Charles Schnabel, Shaker Heights, OH -- Banner Tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List Vet
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Passages from the Pet Bible
RUNNERS UP list -- Book of Neuteronomy
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"... and Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of hairballs."
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
"And He saw that He was a 'Good Boy! Who's a GOOD BOY? YES
YOU ARE!'"
(Dawson E. Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
"And on the eighth day, God created fire hydrants. And it
was good."
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
"And on the seventh day, He turned around and around until
He findeth a good spot, and then He settled in for a nap."
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
"And the Lord spake: 'Mad dog. God dam. Spooky, huh?'"
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
"And then there came another horseman, saying 'no table scraps,
and only dry food to eat,' and pestilence was his name."
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
"God blessed them and said 'Be fruitful and multiply.' And then
He spake no further word, for St. Peter Cottontail was already
at work obeying God's command."
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
"Honor thy father and mother by sleeping on their faces."
(Mike Wolf, Brookline, MA)
"In the beginning was the ball, and the ball was with the hand,
and the ball was in the hand, and then the ball was thrown."
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)
"In the first hour God created the world. And in it He put the
toilet bowl and the tennis ball and wonderful smells. And for the
rest of the day he slept by the fire. And it was good."
(Adam Chunn, Houston, TX)
"Oh ye of little faith; he can hold it until the caravan reaches
Jerusalem."
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
"The Lord is my German Shepard, I shall not whine. He maketh me
to sit and stay in green pastures..."
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
"Thou shalt have no other Dogs before me."
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA)
"Thou shalt not drag thine ass across the carpet."
(Keith Slicner, South Plainfield, NJ)
"Verily, it matters not HOW cute that Manx down the street is,
'Begetting' is RIGHT OUT!"
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Runner Up list name
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
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