About this Book

Book Summary

Essential reading for parents today. Offering us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents  and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children's lives.

What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?

Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and
conflicts with other adults that make them act like they're back in seventh
grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives
us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other
parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman
reveals:

How to recognize the archetypal moms and dadsfrom Caveman Dad to
Hovercraft Mom.

How and when to step in and step out of your child's conflicts with other
children, parents, teachers, or coaches.

How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke)
confrontation.

Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is
that they step up to the plate.

What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to
bully and dominate other kids and adults.

How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about
sex and drugs when your values are in conflict.

How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance
affects your child.

How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button
subjects sabotage parents' ability to work together.

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories
that made Wiseman's New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees &
Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents
with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad
parentsthe kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do
when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is
promptly transferred into the honors programwhile your son with better
grades doesn't make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter
compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach
who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical
advice on avoiding the most common parenting "land mines" and useful scripts
to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today.
It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents  and the
inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and
set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children's
lives.

Perfect Parent World, Land of Perpetual Judgment

"You couldn't pay me enough to go back to seventh grade."

People love to tell me this. Teachers, parents, counselors,
principals, people on the street, people at
parties--everywhere I go, people tell me that they shudder
at the thought of waking up one day transported back to
seventh grade. But when I tell them I'm writing a book on
parents' social competition, their eyes grow wide with
delight or dismay--and always with recognition. "Do I have a
story for you," they say conspiratorially. Clearly, few of
us have left seventh grade completely behind.

My goal in this book is to get you to do exactly what almost
no one wants to do: Go back to seventh grade and understand
how the lessons you learned as a child and adolescent affect
the way you parent. And when I say "parent," I'm not just ...

Reviews

BookBrowse Review

BookBrowse

Wiseman's first book exposed the bitchy world of cliques and "queen-bee" teens - but here she goes further into the hive, to explore the psyches of the queen bee moms (and king-pin dads) who were once teenagers and who, more often than not, are busily nurturing the next generation of "queen-bees". Wiseman counsels parents to find a happy medium between being overprotective parents and frighteningly passive - offering advice on how parents should approach difficult situations with coaches, teachers and, of course, other parents.
(Reviewed by BookBrowse Review Team).

Media Reviews

A psychologist and mother, Wiseman does a magnificent job of cracking the code of "parentspeak" ..... Ours is a messy, get-ahead-now world. Wiseman makes sense of it. Highly recommended.

Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Wiseman wants to show people how to behave better; she even includes sample scripts for difficult situations. Her bottom line: parents have to model good behavior if they want to end up with good kids. And since we all live in the same communities, good kids are in everyone's best interest.

James Garbarino, Ph.D., author of See Jane Hit and Lost Boys
Rosalind Wiseman has a good ear and a good eye. She watches and listens to
the every day talk of kids and adults and hears and sees below the surface
to identify important underlying social realities. In Queen Bee Moms andKingpin Dads she provides a road map for parents to help them
negotiate the treacherous waters of adult peer culture on behalf of their
children and their own peace of mind.

William Pollack, author of Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
Wise yet
practical and full of humor, Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is a
must-read for parents who want to deal with the other adults in their
children's lives with skill and compassion, rather than wrath and confusion.
Rosalind Wiseman's thoughtful suggestions will spare parents endless
conflicts and substitute creative interventions. This book forces us to look
ourselves in the mirror and face both our strengths and weaknesses while
inspiring us to act as strong yet empathic role models for our children in a
much-too-pressured and competitive world.

Michael Gurian, author of The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of GirlsQueen Bee Moms andKingpin Dads is honest and wise. As a
father, I found the insights, stories and practical information in this book
very powerful. As a professional, I found the book's basic premise to be
profoundly important to the field of child development. Rosalind Wiseman
asks nothing less of us than basic human civility.

Hothouse parenting has hit the mainstreamwith disastrous effects. Teens lack leadership skills. College students engage in deadly binge drinking. Graduates cant even negotiate their own salaries without bringing mom or dad in for a consult.

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