Paris and Tyler Atkins Seem Well-Suited for One Another

He’s not opposed to getting date-raped, she’s no stranger to the slammer. The two enjoy long walks on the beach, fluffy pillows and finger-banging. (OK, that last one’s actually about me.) It’s like they’re soul mates. Oh, who am I to judge? A blogger, that’s who. And from my lofty seat here in front of my computer, I am judging all who flash on my screen. Face-to-face encounters are for people who leave their apartments. OK, but back to why I’m being so obnoxious. It seems that Paris Hilton’s man-du-jour has something of a sketchy past, which he revealed in a YouTube interview.

“When I was real young, I was stealing cars.”

“It was pretty heavy. I was a little ratbag.”

He said that he was kicked out of the house at age thirteen and also copped to drug use. I’m actually kind of starting to feel sorry for this kid. I really hope he gets Paris pregnant, so he can get some moolah from the chica. Here’s to hoping he’s got potent swimmers!