Hmm, you could mean two things by this. Either you a) cheated on her because you were so plastered that you couldn't even recognize faces, or b) use alcohol as an rationalization for your behavior. Either way, the above is a pretty strong indictment of your character, dickhead.

So yer cheatin on her with a bottle of jb? If yer dick can fit in the neck of a jb bottle then i don't think yer gf really cares what u fuck as long as it's not her. On the other hand if it u needed a mickey bigmouth...

And I'm sorry you don't understand the concept of not being a complete dick. One day, you're going to cop an attitude with the wrong stranger and catch a healthy dose of fist to the face. Or an STD. Either way, it seems you're going to need a hard life lesson before you realize that your actions don't convey "cool"; they convey "I'm a piece of shit who can't control his impulses or his liquor."

you are a complete idiot, AND, you keep apologizing for people "not being old enough to drink" or for them being "virgins." btw, who the fuck are you? wanna let us all know when you finally pass the eighth grade?

Its hilarious how mad youre getting. Are you that kid who hates the guys who get girls because you can't get any yourself? FYI, I've been in plenty of fights for being a douchebag so it's not much of a "one day it will happen" thing. And if you ever felt a vagina before you'd have the same impulses as any other guy.

It's called self control, ass clown. Anyone with half a brain knows not to drink that damn much because they'll be paying for it. If you can't do something without acting like a fucktard then maybe you shouldn't do it? Not too many of us women really enjoy whiskeydick anyway.

Heyyyy white trash RAAAAANDY! WTF is a "bottom bitch"?! You're right, I don't have one -I'm not a douchebag. You appear to be quite the dickhead though. Keep counting your lame ass TFLN publications. They suck more dick than the skanks you cheat with, only after your weak fifth of jim beam. Get some money you scumbag

I'd rather the bf get plastered with me than in some random place and cheat on me. What's wrong with getting wasted with your bf/gf? It's like getting drunk with your best friend. Or it is getting drunk with your best friend! A couple that drinks together stays together.\nOh raaaannnndddyyy, you're a douche.

you're the type of loser who posts a text that you personally wrote because you thought it was THAT hilarious, and yet you have to come on here, as was evidenced by all of your comments, intermittently in order to defend all of the presumably funny parts. You're a total ignoramus that needs to learn how to drink without being a complete douchebag.

you're the type of loser that posts a text that you personally wrote because you thought it was THAT hilarious, but then you have to, as was evidenced by all of the comments you've posted, come on here intermittently to "defend" each presumably funny aspect of the text. You're an ignoramus moron that needs to get a life, learn how to drink, and give up your relationship and do the single thing. #dbag