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I think I’m in a downward spiral in regards to my depression. For the last month or more I have been doing quite well. Or at least it felt as so, yet for some reason I feel like a switch was triggered in my brain and that has all gone. The lights are on and I can see all the ugly truth. It is this reality that has forced me to rethink everything and thus made me seriously depressed. I should probably go back on my meds but… I felt like it kept me from feeling. In a good and bad way, of course.

He logical thought would be to start back on them but I’m willing to ride this until I hit the ground. Or I will catch and updraft and start flying high again. In truth this could just be a natural mood change and because I don’t know how to handle anything but joy I automatically run to “its my depression.” That could just be what the problem is or it could be manufactured from all the time being told I’m a “downer” or that I suffer from clinical depression. How can one gauge the truth when they’ve been told one thing for so long?

I will keep an eye on it but it’s weird how I felt this shift so suddenly. I really was doing just fine and something happened, what I don’t know, and it’s been different. I wonder if it’s because I have stretched myself so thin that it’s made me tired and thus made me moodier than usual. Good for thought.