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For our latest installment of Talking Shop, we sat down with Paul O’Neill, creative director of Levi’s Vintage Clothing, to bring you a behind-the-scenes look at the inner workings of an American fashion legend.

It was only a matter of time before the 3D body scanners used by futuristic tailoring houses got applied to more humble items like jeans and polo shirts. (If you weren’t aware of the magical laser-assisted fitting rooms that scan your every suit measurement in mere seconds, you are now.)

Twice a year, in six cities, menswear designers, buyers, editorialists and enthusiasts flock to the tailored temple of Capsule Show. Yesterday, the leather-bound steamer trunks and garment bags arrived in droves at New York’s South Street, chock-full of new collections for SS14.

Naturally, Team Kempt hit the pavement (or, you know, carpeted warehouse) of Pier 36 in the name of trend spotting and lesson learning. With over 250 brands in attendance, we thought it best to provide a bit of a highlight reel for our loyal followers.

It has come to our attention that the prominence of jean shorts, henceforth referred to as “jorts,” has been increasing in recent months. In fact, in June we even saw our friends over at GQendorsing them. (Though not their shortened nomenclature.) And suffice it to say, we’re more than a little concerned.

Knee-length denim is not a notion to be taken lightly.

Now, this isn’t the first time such a sartorial dilemma has given us pause. (See: mandals.) It’s certainly not going to be the last, either. But, as in the past, we’d rather not outright condemn such risk taking. No, instead we’d rather just give you some qualifications to consider before you go cutting that pair of pre-distressed Levi’s at the knee and calling it a day.