5 Conspiracy theories that just won't die

When a news outlet reports on an event, a plane crash for instance, the reactions of most readers are predictable. Doubtless, not much passes through the mind of the average reader, he would think the news were sad and that it is tragic that accidents with heavy casualties belong to our reality. But this is in no way unnatural.

However, there are people who experience the event as a part of a large universal scam. Those who, for example, believe in Mole People (who are supposed to live under the Earth’s crust and govern the world in secret) might believe that one of the passengers on the plane found out their secret and therefore, the plane was taken down.

This is a good example of a conspiracy theory and theories of this kind are often based on the belief that groups of powerful people govern the world and that most everything that happens in the world can be traced to them.

The creators of conspiracy theories often create them in order to support the testimonies of their own convictions. Neo-Nazis, for example, maintain that the Holocaust never happened and that is only one tenet of the current policy of world domination of Jews (who amongst other control Hollywood and broadcast the Holocaust from there through award-winning films like Schindler’s List and Sophie’s Choice). Others may just have too much time on their hands and can therefore scratch out the most complex conspiracies about everything or nothing, whenever they wish.

In order to introduce the colorful world of conspiracy theories to the reader I decided to gather my five favorite conspiracy theories and describe them briefly. Fasten your seatbelts.

1. The Twin Towers collapsing was orchestrated by the United States government

A plot orchestrated by the US government? Some people think so.

A classic of modern theories and perhaps the most discussed in the first decade of the 21st century. Two theories reign about this event – one says that the government knew about these attacks but decided to do nothing about it. The other, which I am discussing here, claims that the whole shebang was planned and put into effect by the CIA. Those who support this theory base it mostly upon the fact that the Towers could not have fallen down after a plane collided with them – the collapse must have been controlled, as when an ordinary building gets demolished. “Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams,” creators and followers cry.

But why? Most maintain that the USA did this in order to justify invading Iraq and taking their oil. Others want to go even further however, as you will come to see in theory no. 4.

2. Stanley Kubric directed the Moon landing

Is this picture taken on the Moon or inside a studio?

One of the best known directors of the 20th century, Stanley Kubric was known for being a perfectionist. He worked tirelessly to make his films as good as they could be and therefore NASA and the CIA thought it perfect that Kubric should direct the Moon landing, shot somewhere in the United States (possibly in the secret Area 51). Kubric was of course forbidden to tell anyone, for if he did, he would be killed. Therefore he decided to leave a trail of clues, in particular in The Shining, which was released 11 years after the first landing. Watch The Shining again and notice the shirt Danny has on when he looks into room 237.

3. The Beatles

Paul is barefoot. Must mean that there is no Paul and there are no Beatles.

The music theories are as different as they are many. It can however be maintained that no band has been the subject of as many conspiracy theories as the poor Beatles. As everyone knows, Paul McCartney died under mysterious circumstances sometime in 1966 and has since been played by different doppelgängers every time the Beatles performed.

Or, they all died in 1966 and all were played by different doppelgängers every time they performed.

Or, nobody died, and the Beatles never really existed – they are in fact the fabrication of the British royal family (which belongs to the Illuminati, more on that in the next theory) as a tool to corrupt the youth of the planet and to give young people hallucinogens. Don’t they say people are easier to control when drugged?

4. The Illuminati

You are being brainwashed at this very moment, dear reader.

The Illuminati theory is the biggest modern theory and the mother of all conspiracy theories. What do Jay-Z, Barack Obama (and every president of the United States after circa 1960), Queen Elizabeth and the Pope all have in common? They are a part of the global Illuminati-movement, which only has one goal: to overthrow modern society and establish sole control of the Earth – which will be called the New World Order.

How does this movement operate? As the Beatles-theory indicates, the Illuminati like to control groups of people through brainwashing. Music is often the best way. In the 20th century, it was the Beatles; today it is musicians like Jay-Z and Kanye West. They also like to plan various disasters the world over, manly terrorist attacks, which they blame on the proxy, “al-Qaeda”, but as the observant reader has probably realized by now, there is of course nothing called al-Qaeda.

The best way to see who belongs to the Illuminati is by looking at music videos and find as many triangles as possible. The more triangles, the greater chance that the musician belongs to the Illuminati.

Oh yes, it is worth mentioning that the Pope is the one and true Anti-Christ. And that the Illuminati are a Satanic movement. Just to be clear.

5. Finland does not exist

Santa Claus doesn't exist and neither does Finland.

Last but not least, I introduce the theory that I chose, not because it is genius, but because it exists independent of all the other big theories. According to this theory, Finland is fabrication. Not only the nation of Finland, but in reality, no landmass between Sweden and Finland exists, only sea. All “Finns” live in East-Sweden and there, Helsinki can also be found. The story behind this theory is long but here is the short version: Finland was created by the Japanese and the Soviets around or just after World War II so that the Japanese could fish as much as they wanted in the sea where “Finland” is supposed to be.

The fish is then transported through Russia (here the Siberian Express comes to good use, as it was created because of this agreement) and disguised as Nokia-products, a supposedly Finnish company, but its main importer is Japan. The theory is reflected in the name created for Finland, as fishes of course have fins.

The above theories are just a drop in the turbulent ocean of conspiracy theories. Each is crazier than the other, but it is mad fun to read about them.

Just try not to take them too seriously. And as with everything else in life – read all the facts, not just the ones presented in conspiracy theories.