/u/aceman234

Today I won the lottery. Not only did my blog see a giant spike in traffic today thanks to Clark Kent posting the link to his story on a Reddit thread (it made me feel famous all day, where’s my reality show and celebrity sex tape,) I also got to ride a 6’3″ 21 year old hot body with a enormous penis- who happens to know what to do with it. I turn down more big dicks than I ride, as a rule, but this one I took a chance with based on his personality and approach. I’m glad I did! Phenomenal lover in all ways. We met on Tinder, my favorite of the dick farming apps I frequent because it’s so straight forward and I don’t get bombarded with messages from men I’m not interested in. He tells me he’s only here for the night, on vacation with family. Out of towners are often my favorite lays- they put in the effort to make it fun for both of us. He’s on his way to a degree in mechanical engineering, so I’m sold he’s gonna do a good job. You know my thing about nerdy dudes making the absolute best lovers hands down. We start texting and he sends me a couple body shots- boy has body for DAYS. I had every intention of taking an ab selfie with that torso (and I did!) I can tell already he’s going to have a big weenus. Skinny white boys, I tell ya what. He offers to send me a dick pic, on the condition I act surprised when I see it in person. I turn it down, I hate dick pics and have no interest in seeing it before the main event. I assume he’s quite large… larger than normal large. Also, just the way he approached the subject of me seeing it is an indicator he’s actually very big and not just “above average” with an ego. I was not prepared. I ask him if he’s a big boy downstairs and he tells me I’ll just have to wait to see it later. And he called me “love.” My favorite!

I pick him up from his hotel downtown and head to my house. He’s a handsome boy, I like his facial hair and shaggy curly hair. We take a shower when we get to my house because I’m still sweating out last nights bad decisions with Rufio and Dan The Man. Get your mind out of the gutter, we were just drinking. Ok and we all took a shower together. Back to /u/aceman234: the shower we took together was not sexual but productive. I needed to wash out the cigarette smoke from my hair, brush my teeth, and cleanse all my creasy bits. We wrap up in towels and hit the bed. Chit chat for a little bit, I’m digging his low-key snuggling and body language. I offer to show him my magic trick with my hands, he asks if we can make-out a bit first. Uh, yes? Fuck yes? Gimme! He starts kissing me while tweaking my nipple rings and I’m running my fingers through his thick curls, gripping his head tightly while our tongues find each other. He plays with the rings and gives me all the good nibbles and nuzzles, my favorite kind of foreplay. It’s time to show him my magic hands. With my 1, 2, 3, slut magic I’ve got lube in my hands and I’m about to blow his mind.

Holy god what the fuck is that, and do I need a license to handle it? Christ on a pogo stick, it’s bigger than I’d really anticipated. Not only long (9 inches) but girthy like a motherfucker AND curved downward. Oh geez. I can barely get my hands around it. My tiny creepy doll hands, which just make it seem even more monstrous, are manipulating him as best they can but from my perspective it’s just comical. He’d mentioned before it’s been a few months since he’d gotten any action, so he would probably bust very quickly… and there would be a big mess. Yeah, I can imagine there’s going to be a mess- look at the size of those goose eggs. I got him off in 30 seconds flat with my hands and it looked like we spilled a vat of glaze all over ourselves. Holding back my gag reflex so as to not make him feel uncomfortable or awkward, I go wash up and grab wet naps to clean him up. Time to take a break while he recharges his battery… I’ve got my fingers crossed he doesn’t pull a dick move and decide play time is over before I’ve gotten mine. There’s so little space left under my porch for negligent lovers after that losing streak I was on…

We talk for a bit and get comfortable with each other; he’s sweet with some selfish tendencies he’s aware of and working on avoiding. We talk about my blog, our previous sexual history, etc. We’re casually playing with my nipple rings and titties when he leans in and starts sucking on them again. I want this mouth all over me. Bite me. Nibble me. Lick me. He positions himself on top, taking my left leg up and slowly kissing his way down to my lady business. Oh… oh yes. Do your thang. He expertly brings me to climax with his beautiful mouth twice, maybe three times. I wasn’t trying to keep count, I was trying not to squeeze his head too hard with my thighs as I tumbled over the edge into orgasmic oblivion. He comes back up to the girls and sucks on them, then we kiss some more. I want him. I want him right now. He asks me if I want more face in my thighs or if it’s time for a condom. Condom, brah! Fuck… I don’t think my large ones will fit him properly… we have to make due with what we’ve got, though. I find the biggest ones I have and roll it on. It’s very tight. I can tell it’s not the best fit. Once he’s sheathed he goes to insert himself and I am literally closing my eyes and controlling my breathing. Bring her into port slowly, captain! Ooooof! Oh god, I’m gonna feel this for a couple days. Not painful, just… I was at maximum capacity for sure. He goes slow at first so I can adjust, and then the madness began. He’s picking up the pace and my volume increases; he whispers in my ear “yes, nice and loud,” and starts pounding into me. I can’t breathe. Am I screaming? What the fuck is his name again? What dimension am I in? I can feel my basement flood to accommodate this behemoth and the added lubrication brings me into a cascade of orgasms. One after another.

He wants me on top, you got it champ! I like to ride. I saddle up and he immediately takes control again, thrusting up into me while I’m trying to move against him. I don’t even want to know the faces I was making at this particular moment, but he whispered he loved watching me take it. I’m cumming so frequently I can barely hold myself up, my legs are shaking and I want to be held close and just pummeled with his penis. He takes me down to his chest and drives it on home, while I’m no longer making whole words and doing my best impersonation of a caveman discovering fire. He’s dirty talking me just the way I like it- nothing derogatory. I’m dirty talking back, I do in fact love cumming on his cock. I’ll say those words as many times as you want to hear them, big guy. He tells me I take his dick well, and I love taking all of it. Yeah… yeah I do. Please sir, can I have some more? GIMME THAT DICK, BOY! I tell him I want him behind me, he happily obliges… but first, he gets me off one more time while I’m on top. Once behind me I know he’s gonna go to the hilt and make me beg for mercy. I just know it. I tell him to slap my ass while he’s railing me. Yeah, hit it harder! I’ve got lots of it, hit it! He pushes himself all the way in, and then a little bit further. I tap. Nope, nope, nope. I cannot have you moving my insides around, back up. We take a break- I’m covered in sweat, my vagina is wrecked, and I’m probably going to die of dehydration. He’s fairly spent, though he didn’t get a second orgasm. Yet. I’ll come back to that. I peel the condom off him and toss it to the graveyard. I offer him some head to reward him and his gallant efforts to please me so thoroughly. He accepts. The moment I put my freshly lubed hands on him for the double stroke, and my mouth on the tip, it’s over. He’s making all the noises I love. Yeah, I teach a class on how to do this. He tells me I give the best head, and best hand job, he’s ever had in his life. I’m not even gonna pretend to be modest about it, I know I’m aces. He doesn’t reach climax, but he tells me it was absolutely stellar. He may not get off again since I already gave him an O at the very beginning.

We snuggle up and just hang out for a couple hours. Touching, talking, all that jazz. He tells me he’s an exhibitionist, and likes to show off his appendage. I ask him if he’d like to share a picture on my blog to go with the story and he’s all for it, even let me use his username. Oh, also he told me about a condom manufacturer in the UK called They Fit, that will take your dick measurements and send you custom sized condoms for you boys packing abnormally large, or compact, heat. (http://www.theyfit.co.uk/) It was nice to just casually lay there with this beautiful boy, naked, and talk about trannies, two man threesomes, etc. It’s about time for me to take him back to the hotel, but I’m not ready. I straddle him and kiss him, feeling him get hard beneath me. I tell him I want to cum on his big dick some more, and would love to do so all night. He wants me to beg for it. I’ll meet you half way, I’ll say please. He tells me to get another condom. Once I find another big one I get on top- I ride for 5-10 minutes and he tells me he’s going to cum with me. Fuck yes, O number 2 accomplished. Now I feel satisfied I gave to him what he gave to me.

I took a selfie with his beautiful abs, for my collection. He thinks I’m silly. Fuck you, guy, I’m amazing. He tells me he definitely made the right choice with me tonight, instead of the other girl he had been talking to- ditto, son. My choices tonight were a Marine, a Soldier, or an Engineering student. I’ll always go science first, nerds do it better; did I mention yet he’s really big into Magic the Gathering? Oh yeah, take me to pound town you god damn dweeb! Nothing gets me hot quite like that. Ugh, I just wanna roll around with him inside me forever. TAP MY MANA!

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DD Fnord

I left my cheating spouse September of 2015. In October of that year, I filed for divorce and set out to move on and reclaim my lost libido. I spent 8 years of my 20's faithful to two unfaithful men, I have so much time to make up for! All The Dicks is my journey having sex with whoever I want, whenever I want, however I want. The first person I spent the night with after my husband, reignited the spark and desire I thought I would need counseling to retrieve. The second person I was with sealed the deal. I wasn't broken, I just needed a tune up. This collection of encounters are the ones worth re-telling- I don't write about every sexual encounter I have, and I certainly don't bother with any that were sub-par. The screenshots are my own personal wall of shame, but also my trophies because nobody puts baby in a corner.
View all posts by DD Fnord