Blog

Welcome to my first blog of 2015! If we haven’t yet met, you can see a little more of what I’m about at by watching my intro video and if you’d like you can contact me personally so I can “meet you back” (and by the way, infinitely more interesting and fun for me to have a two-way intro!). So, I was driving to the office this morning, salted caramel non-fat (at least I hope it was) latte in hand, listening to a podcast by a well-known speaker. She made an observation I happen to agree with (and will share more about in another blog). However,...

There is no such thing as perfect, but are you and your partner “masters” or “disasters”? In my work with couples in therapy one of the key concerns of couples seeking help is: Should we get married? The couples vary in nature from short-term relationships, to long-term, to relationships involving children. Couples may be experiencing relational bumps and recurring conflicts and are wondering if they should continue to invest time and energy in each other toward a life-long commitment–or just call it quits. Often, the way this is...

I’m known among clients, colleagues and friends as a pretty positive person. I can find solutions. I did it for 20+ years in the corporate world for companies that needed help matching their products with the right customers and I do it now as a therapist for clients who need help matching their troubles with the right solutions. I am good at “Finding What Works” (one of my mottos). So… (wait for it) here’s a bit of advice that may (at first) take the wind out of your sails, or look like something other than the right solution. If you were...

Some of us deal with work challenges through one-on-one mentoring or coaching. Some of us deal with personal/relationship challenges through one-on-one counseling or psychotherapy. But there is another form of problem-solving that is arguably more effective for some of us at certain times—peer group coaching/counseling. My brand of peer group coaching/counseling allows for keen insight about self and others in a safe setting that includes goal setting and forward movement. My groups (there are currently six—see below) address challenges...

There is significant room for journalistic gossip about the precipitous exit a few months ago of Steven Sinofsky, president of the Windows operating system division at Microsoft. Rumor has it that Microsoft had growing concern about Sinofsky’s inability to get along well with other senior managers, including CEO Steve Ballmer. What does this have to do with my practice as a marriage and family therapist? A lot. As the economy continues in its precarious state, I see in my practice that more and more stress and anxiety present themselves...

I use social media—a lot. It is a good way for me to communicate with current, past, and potential clients, their loved ones, and those seeking a little inspiration to see value in relationships—to keep trying. My posts on Facebook (www.facebook.com/RightThereAllAlong) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/underwood_lori) tend to be positive, practical, and sometimes funny. Of all the posts I’ve shared, this one has hands-down resonated with my audience (especially the guys) the most: “Don’t talk bad about your husband. To anyone. Ever.”...

In today’s typical family there is no ‘typical’. Individuals with perhaps non-traditional relationships to a child (i.e., not just Mother and Father) may have good access and sensitivity to a child’s struggles or troubles. These people may include close friends, step-parents, mentors, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches. As is depicted in the sitcom “Modern Family,” personal and relationship break-throughs are made through access to truth and love–coming from various sources, including family members...

Many who come to me for therapy feel almost positive that divorce from their partner is the direction in which they are headed. I see partners whose marriage is in trouble try to escape their troubled marriage by focusing on other areas of their lives including more rounds of golf, increasing numbers of trips to the gym, boys’ nights out, girls’ nights out, manicures, pedicures, hair extensions. Believe me, this external focus is not always a bad thing. But if one or both partners sees this as the only viable response to their troubled...

The movie “Hope Springs,” starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones may be good, great, or so-so, but the subject matter is directly relatable to my practice. I have witnessed people who have seen it and as a result become motivated toward action in their marriage. The movie is about a middle-aged couple (with grown children) whose marriage has lost its life. There has not been a traumatic event—death, infidelity, abuse—that has led to the marriage break-down. The marriage has witnessed a gradual movement away from intimacy—connection of...