Thursday, December 28, 2006

Some readers found this title image a little distasteful and asked me to take it off. Keeping their sensibilities in mind I'm putting a new one up. Anyway it's been there for almost a month-and-a-half and the replacement with was long overdue. As Sandeepa said I remain the boss of this blog and things around here happen according to my whims and fancies, but once in a while I should heed to readers' concerns (or at least pretend to).

The movie is Madhubala, of course not based on the beauty of the yesteryears (I was and am an adorer) but on the Preeti Jain-Madhur Bhandarkar episode. It was running in one of Connaught Place's (New Delhi) oldest theatres, the landmark Regal, usually described as seedy, in-kempt and exhibiting 'A' rated films. Haven't yet been inside the theatre, but the posters usually attract sufficient attention.

Photographed October 1, 2006.

The description of the present title image will be made available on its retirement.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

I lasted in my first job for two years two-and-a-half months. This time I'm changing my official address in exactly 10 months. Too soon, some say. But when opportunities come your way, better grab them, with both hands. So what if it entails a 70 kilometre ride every day? My hunt is for satisfaction, which I know I'll never achieve. And that's a good thing.

"Why do you want to leave this job?" the HR Manager asked me in my exit interview. An honest answer would have been, "I don't know." But he wouldn't have understood. Therefore I told him, "the work profile is what I always wanted to do, the salary's higher" and the other standard acceptable reasons. I didn't lie, these were just some of the obvious reasons. There are many other unobvious ones, which even we ourselves cannot comprehend. I said yes, to the offer at hand, because something inside me said yes. Why did it answer in the affirmative, it never gives us the reasons. And I don't argue.

Professionally things are changing, on the blog front I don't see much of a change, unless I try to apply my brushed-up professional skills on the blogosphere; or they tell me that it's either your blog or your job. Since the paapi pet rules, I'll continue with the latter (till the time I find myself a new job, with a fatter pay cheque of course). But that seems unlikely, since my boss' a blogger too.

I wrote this in my last job-switch post, it still holds true and will.

Friday, December 15, 2006

A 1986 Only Vimal ad featuring the cricketer for whom the word swashbuckling was perhaps coined - Viv Richards, or more appropriately Sir Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards, one of the five Wisden Cricketers of the Century (Don Bradman, Gary Sobers, Jack Hobbs and Shane Warne were the other four. Only Warne was the non-knight in the list). This Antiguan was one of the most fearsome of batsmen, but in this ad he looks a charmer. No wonder Neena Gupta fell for him.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

December 13, 2001. The Indian Parliament is attacked. A dozen dead, including the attackers. Massive deployment of soldiers by India to the border with Pakistan. Relations strained. Many arrests made. Some convicted, others acquitted. One now in death row, seeking clemency.

In five years, a lot has been happening, moving and changing. But inside the highest seat of the world's largest democracy, not much has changed except for the people occupying the treasury and the opposition benches. They termed the December 13 attack as one on Indian democracy. I wouldn't reproduce on this blog what actually were the people's reactions (there's a strong possibility of getting blocked). Everyone knows, or can very easily guess how the common man would have reacted.

The most crippling attack on the form of government that this country practices is not from the terrorists or militants from outside, rather it is from the ones inside the House. Every session is an unending assault. This is what cartoonist Neeraj Gupta says through his exhibition 'Sansad Par Hamla' (Attack on Parliament). The exhibition was inaugurated yesterday, by veteran cartoonist Sudhir Tailang at the All India Fine Arts and Crafts Society, 1 Rafi Marg (Opposite Rail Bhavan), New Delhi 110001. The exhibition is on till Sunday, December 17, 2006 from 1:00 PM to 7:00 PM.I know Neeraj (Neerajsir to me) since my university days in Bhopal, where he was a cartoonist with Nava Bharat. He was someone who fitted my visualisation of a cartoonist to the hilt. The other two that I met in flesh and blood were quite different. The great RK Laxman came across as acerbic (maybe because of his age), but not without wit and I didn't believe that Sudhir Tailang was Sudhir Tailang until he drew a caricature of the then Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee on my notebook (but Narasimha Rao remains his best), he to me looked quite un-cartoonist like.

Neeraj is jovial man even in the most adverse of circumstances. Someone, who isn't afraid to take risks and face challenges, even if the costs involved are great. One fine day he gave his comfortable job up and landed in the city of dreams, Bombay, in pursuit of his dreams (later also took me along on my very first visit to the city and played a gracious host). When things didn't work out the way he would have liked them to be, he bid adieu to Bombay and landed in Delhi in his tried and tested vocation as a cartoonist with Dainik Jagran. Not very satisfied with the ways of the media, he joined Samsung India Electronics, where he is the Creative Director.

If you happen to visit the exhibition, do chat with him He's interesting to talk to. Makes you feel comfortable.

Here are a few cartoons from the exhibition (tried to translate them for readers who are not comfortable with Hindi, but much might be lost in the process).

Hope you remember? Repeated boycotts made me forget the way to the Parliament

... and this is an extinct species of a Parliamentary etiquette following MP

It is hereby informed that this premises is not for commercial use ... shut your shop from here ... else this place would be sealed. By order - Public

Almost every newspaper and website has this story. But didn't we know this for long. At least women abroad know better. A few had posed me the question during online chats (no, I wasn't on any of 'those' chat rooms).Clothing brands had realised this much earlier, only that they are implementing it now. But then it was for the visible portions. For something like a condom, it is just a little difficult. And with samples, however large they are there's always a chance of having it skewed. The suggestion of having different sizes is welcome (in addition to flavours, colours, texture there'll also be a choice between S, M, L, XL and XXL). But like women, many of whom are not aware of their perfect cup sizes (the calculation, like most things female, is a little confusing), it will take some instructions for men to know which category they 'fit in.' Different experts still have varied opinions on how to go about the measuring exercise.

There's also an online Definitive Penis Size Survey (contains images which might not be safe for work) In case you are interested in an unscientific measurement exercise, which will not require you to drop your pants, try this out (safe for work, requires Flash).

Anyway does size matter (Cliched question, I know that. But the answers are always interesting)?

[Initially thought of not posting about this story, then Shivam sent me a link. Then thought that it might just be my forte and moreover many people were already visiting this blog looking for that story. I don't want to disappoint anyone. The last post had got too long, will post updates on this page, until this too gets bottomless]

Monday, December 11, 2006

Why does it have to be this way, always? And illogically enough it works. Since last afternoon my keyboard was acting funny. The problem was with a combination of the Shift key (both right and left) and certain letters (I just happened to notice that they were all vowels). It just wouldn't work, and for capitalisation, I had to use the caps lock every time. And much later the idea of StickyKeys came (actually, when I was frustratingly pressing the Shift key multiple times).

To find a solution to my problem, I sought Google and read through pages and pages where people discussed their hardware and software problems. No answers anywhere. Thought of doing what the IT guys at office usually do, uninstall and then reinstall. Usually works. Then somewhere down a forum, someone fixed his problem by simply turning the keyboard upside down and giving it a few whacks. I did it and am typing this - AeIoU. Perfect.

By the way, the problem was also because of a few whacks, which I had liberally given the keyboard in the first place to dislodge all the snack that it had gorged over the months. The same principle worked with the little 14" B&W TV that I had in my room back home and also with the 'imported' Chinese music system, which played all from Dylan to Daler. Whack, whack and it's all right. Why did the grownups have unwavering faith in this principle when it came with dealing with the mischievous us?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Some ads have the potential to brighten up a dull day. For some a bar of chocolate is enough. Chocolate to me as a kid, was only Cadbury's (not Cadbury, but Cadbury's), irrespective of the make. Nestle was also Cadbury's, so was Amul. Only Milky Bar wasn't, because of its whiteness. Brown signified Cadbury's and Cadbury ads, happiness.

Oglivy & Mather, as always, did a good job and so did Louis Banks (Kuch Khaas Hain is his favourite amongst the jingles that he created). Shankar Mahadavan and Gary Lawyer also bagged a few awards singing them. Wonderful. And they demand and encore. Television is expensive, but internet is not. Here's reliving all that great Cadbury ads from the years past (never chewed on a whole bar, but preferred to break them into small squares and sucked them).

Here's something that we all did at least once in my life (I did it uncountable times), picking up a fallen chocolate piece from the floor, and ensuring that no one is watching you, while you pop it into your mouth. But I'm yet to flung a bar of chocolate at a departed sweetheart, savouring it in agony of departure is much better. (1994)Download video [WMV 404 KB 00:01:01 Mono 160X120]

Meetha for so long was synonymous with rosogollas. The Dada might not like it, but the bhaiya from the banks of the Ganges at Allahabad is out to redefine the wants of the Indian sweet tooth (I had to get mine extracted sometime ago).

Spent all my school days in one of the rainiest regions of the planet, but never ever got a day off due to rains. Poor me. And never did the school building catch fire despite our heartfelt prayers (even if it did, the rains would have doused it in minutes). (2004)Download video [WMV 331 KB 00:00:52 Mono 160X120]Listen / download audio [MP3 356 KB 00:00:52 56kbps Stereo 44 kHz]

Acoustic branding at its best. Wherever we hear that distinctive "Ting ting ti-ting," we invariably think Britannia. Louis Banks, the man who created it, says, "Well, I always say that on my tombstone they should put that four note signature I wrote for Britannia - you know, 'ting ting ti-ting'!"

If you need a ting ting ti-ting of your own, follow the following links to download or listen (you might also use it as a ringtone). It would help if you buy a packet of Tiger Biscuits too. For two reasons, indirect royalty payment and in celebration of Dada's return to the team (the Bong in me just couldn't help it).

Britannia ads have never been something to go gaga about. Anyway if you happen to be interested, a dozen-and-two TVCs can be found here. And Jazz-man Louis' site has three full-version songs available for free download. Help yourselves.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

"I'm going to tell you a secret: Glamour photography is hypocrisy. It's a subtle, sophisticated, suave, creative, legal, socially, and publicly approved version of porn. It's for the debonair and the creative solutions to make stimulation legal have generated an array of interesting styles."

My brother, an avid photographer, brought home those photography magazines. Not much into the nuances of the hobby/profession (the interest developed much later), I simply used to flip through the pages eyeing the luscious models. My favourite was (is) the glamour specials. The December issue of Better Photography usually has an extra dose of glamour (read scantily clad or unclad women. It's always women). Therefore I never find them at the old and second-hand magazine sellers. This year's is less explicit, but for a wannabe photographer like me, the other stuff in there is more than the Rs 60 worth.

The name National Capital Region (different from NCT) seems to exist only on paper and for the mobile phone networks. Spanning three states, it is just an excuse for incessant traffic jams and inflated property prices. For a poor non-vehicle-owning commuter like me, travelling across the NCR is a pain in the you-know-where. Delhi Transport Corporation buses do not enter Uttar Pradesh and UP no longer plies its vehicles into Delhi. Both sides impounded a number of the other's buses. Things are also not very good down south with Haryana. Delhi registered autorickshaws do not cross the interstate border into Gurgaon and the ones which agree to enter Uttar Pradesh demand a ransom. The overcrowded privately run blue-line buses and the infrequent chartered buses provide little respite.

In this urban chaos, there comes to the rescue an unlikely saviour - the call centre cabs. Infamous for their negligent and rash driving, these cabs are a boon to travellers commuting between Noida, Delhi and Gurgaon. The main motive might be money making in the sly by the drivers, but it also doubles up as 'social service,' providing cheap, fast and comfortable travel in a city which only has the metro rail to boast about in the name of efficient public transport (the high-capacity buses are too few and DTC drivers get their cut from their blue-line competitors for not picking up passengers). Rs 10 for any distance traveled and I like to add a little thank you for the driver, whose 'selfish motive' eases an otherwise arduous journey.

Depending on the size of the vehicle they drive, the drivers make anything between Rs 40-100 a trip. Often the cops demand a tenth-of-a-grand. The driver simply smiles, displaying his tobacco stained teeth, "Soochonga free mein lift de diya (I'll think that I've given a lift for free)."

Well, it was almost free for me. Rs 10 for a smooth ride from Noida to Dhaula Kuan and another tenner for Dhaula Kuan to Gurgaon (a distance of over 40 kilometres) and that too in only an hour's time.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

[My daytime job requires me to write. But I refrain from reproducing it here, on the blog. Primarily because they are two different entities. The me on the blog is quite different from the me in the publications I work for. But the following is different. One, I don't work for this publication. Two, I didn't write this for the greens. Three, this is because of what I do on this blog and it was just an extension on printed paper.

I would also like to thank two people. Shivam who asked me to do this and Shyama Haldar, who I believe did the subbing on the piece (adding a great deal of readability to the original info-clogged crap).

Sub-editing is a thankless job. You have to dirty your hands clearing all the rubbish and rearranging the stuff. Often ending up rewriting the entire thing, only to see the byline reading someone else's name.

A little misspelt surname can always be ignored]

Excerpted from Tehelka (Vol. 3 Issue 48. For the week of December 3-9, 2006).

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Does the Sachar Committee report on the socio-economic status of Muslims in India look into the film industry and the Indian Cricket team? In both Bombay ruled for long, but like the city of Bombay both have astonishing tales to tell. Gulu Ezekiel (just learnt that his full name is Gul-Fraaz Mohan Ezekiel), in Hindustan Times, looks at the Muslim representation in the Indian Cricket team over the years and suggests, "Our politicians could well take a leaf out of Indian cricket’s history books rather than periodically condemning it."

Monday, November 27, 2006

Just finished watching a documentary on (broadcast on NDTV 24X7) the man whose death familiarised the term 'whistleblower' to the Indian public. Today is the third anniversary of Satyendra Kumar Dubey's death.

The documentary - Satyendra Jayate - was very Doordarshanish and reminded me of diploma/degree films which half-baked students at media schools usually put together. Clichéd and uninspiring, the credits mention some Little Doc Productions. They might have been short of funding, but that's not an excuse. Creative innovation is possible on less than half a shoestring. Satyendra deserved better. The unrecognised Satyendras deserve better.

Watch the trailer (It's a little better than the complete documentary).

There might not be many left at Trafalgar Square (readers from London will know better). But Delhi still has a lot of them, my white T-shirts drying in the sun bear evidences of their existence and properly functioning digestive systems. Here are a few from Connaught Place.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

At Rs 80 a week, TIME magazine's prohibitively expensive. Considering I spend over five per cent of my take-home earning every month on printed matter, adding another Rs. 320 to the account seems unreasonable, given the fact that I end up reading less than a quarter of all that I buy. Therefore as a cost cutting exercise I make it a point to get only the special issues, usually from the Sunday market at Old Delhi's Daryaganj at a fraction of the price, or on busy weekends from the magazine stores, paying in full.

TIME Asia's 60th anniversary issue was a special one. Nehru and Gandhi on the cover would've attracted many like me (TIME often comes out with different covers for different readerships) and this one had four.

There were a total of 11 Indians in there if you expand the definition of Indianess to include The Dalai Lama and Freddie Mercury (Farrokh Bulsara). On second thoughts, make it a dozen, since Mohammed Ali Jinnah was an Indian citizen for almost all his life. Many of the Asian heroes were whom I knew well. Quite a few were discoveries. Some I had only heard of, but never read about.

In the first (and till date the only) bloggers' meet that I attended, Dhiraj addressed me as the 'Rubber Man' in recognition of the most read and linked (and by far the lengthiest) post on Cutting the Chai. But the real Rubber Man is (no, not Prabhu Deva) Mechai Viravaidya, also known as Thailand's 'Condom King.'

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

[For so long I was under the impression that story tips (inclusive of background material) were meant for the mainstream media people. Today, post lunch, when I found an email in my inbox, I thought that it would the usual ones that I get in the course of my day job. But the sender's email read cnn.com. "Why would CNN send an email to me?" Then I figured that it was actually addressed to this blog and they wanted me to post about something on their website. This little blog of mine is getting noticed. Sort of a feel good feeling. The language of such mails do act as a good ego booster.

Anyway, I'm not posting this as an ego tonic. But because I stay in the Delhi, can't exactly say how much I can relate to it and because Nandita Das is one of the actresses that I like. I even had (still have) a poster of her's adorning one of the walls in my room back home.]

Every city had a tale to tell; just the storyteller has to be good enough. Bigger cities like Delhi, Bombay and Calcutta have had more than their share. More not because all the stories that needed to be told have been told, but there are many cities and towns eagerly waiting for their chance. It is more likely for a resident of a larger city to know about the history of his/her city than an inhabitant of an 'insignificant' one.CNN's The Scene calls itself "The Insider's Guide to the World's Coolest Cities." At the last count there were 33 in all, including two of India's Bombay (Mumbai) and now Delhi. Filmmaker Yash Chopra did the honours for India's commercial and cinema capital and Nandita Das is now taking us on a Dilli Darshan. There's also a video, but that didn't play very well on my PC and ended abruptly.

Nandita Das' Delhi is "a city that sees all seasons." Well, except one. Rainy. The last four years that I've been in Delhi, I'm yet to see monsoon as it is described in the books. Maybe coming from rain infested Meghalaya makes the 'heavy showers' look like a trickle.

And there's the inevitable question. "How does Delhi compare to Mumbai?"

Helpful and interesting is the insider's tips section. Even you can share your suggestions. Here are a few samples and I wouldn't contest these:

"Some cities are plagued with pigeons; Delhi's influx of sandwich-snatching rhesus monkeys rampage around the government areas of the city (and occasionally destroy top-secret documents in the process). Look out for the langurs (larger black apes) brought in to scare off their simian cousins."

"If you do go in winter, make the most of 'Dilli ki Sardi' - the famous cold of Delhi. Muffle up in warm clothes, imbibe some hot tea and enjoy the spicy Indian food, which tastes wonderful in the cold. If you go in summer and the heat gets too much, do as the locals do and escape underground to the air-conditioned metro."

"If the weather gets sticky, quench your thirst with jal jeera, a cumin-spiced Indian lemonade or, if you fancy a bit more of a kick, try a rum and Thums Up (Indian cola)."

Monday, November 20, 2006

I have been staying away from home for the last five-and-a-half years (long time, and it passed by so fast). Of the many things that this experience has taught me, the most evident is my skills in the kitchen. I still remember the helpless expressions of my father and brother on seeing the concoction atop the dining table every time Ma was away from home and I took over the kitchen. You didn't need to know the recipe of what I had attempted to cook. Everything in their original form could be seen floating around in oily water. But I did always make good tea, or so people say (have to live up to the title of my blog). Nowadays when I go home, I get invited to cook.All the cooking that I learnt was through trial and error; the errors to begin with, were many. I sympathise with my friends at the university and can now understand why they would ask me to wash the dishes instead. But I never used a recipe; I cooked the way I though was best, and still do. That rigidness in methodology might have my food a uniqueness, but that has also limited my repertoire. My taste buds are also getting tired of the same taste. Therefore thought of learning something new.

First thought that I would ask Ma for help, but then that would take away the surprise factor on my next visit home. Then I found another Bong Mom and her cookbook. Will take printouts of all her posts, do the necessary shopping and will give blogging a break for some serious cooking.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Every time old friends form the old workplace gather together on a Saturday evening for a drink, I am always asked this question, "Have you changed your ringtone?" The answer, as usual is "No, it's my signature tune." It's been about two-and-a-half years since I got my present handset and the tune it sings to me to let me know that someone wants to speak to me hasn't yet changed. And I think it'll change only with a new handset, which I do not see happening anytime in the near future. Today's post on The Great Indian Ad Archive is on mobile ads. Not the phones (they'll come later), only the service providers.[Click on images to view/download individual selected ads]

1. Company/brand: Idea CellularSector: Telecom (GSM mobile)TVCs* LinkPrint ads* LinkComments: 9891..hmm..hm..hm.. How many times did you find yourself humming this tune? They promise that an Idea can change your life. I'm waiting.Good collection of television and print campaigns. The print collection quite exhaustive but there are only nine TVCs and none of the latest (downloadable MPEGs).

Print

TVCs

2. Company/brand: AirtelSector: Telecom (GSM mobile)TVCs* LinkComments: The ads are directly downloadable (zipped avi files). The video quality is relatively high, therefore the file sizes are larger ranging from 6.5 to 10 MB. But there are only five ads. Airtel does have many more. There's the Shah Rukh as Jiju, offering chatoholic sis-in-law (why not saali?) easy recharge tips and AR Rehman composing the Airtel tune (they prefer to call it sound)

4. Company/brand: Hutch (Hutchison Essar)Sector: Telecom (GSM mobile)TVCs* LinkComments: Hutch undoubtedly has the best ads in the mobile business. Though Idea too has a few good ones and Tata Indicom is at the bottom, let's not even mention BSNL (where do they dump all that money? Send some this way, will give better returns). The Hutch dog also has jokes to his name. Someone told me what he was called, I forgot. Wonderful ads, must view and download (zipped good quality mpeg files). After all it's "You and I in this beautiful world."