Is it sexual tension? Here are 20 clear-cut signs

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling red in the face, making eye contact over and over again, and feeling your knees get weak whenever someone special walks by, it’s high time you pay attention to whether there is actually any sexual tension between the two of you or not.

3) Conversations feel awkward

Remember when George took out Marisa Tomei on the American show, Seinfeld? He talked about Manure!

Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Don’t talk about crap on your dates or any interactions leading up to dates! You might find yourself saying all kinds of things that don’t sound like you.

4) You might as well be in high school all over again

When you feel like there might be some sexual attraction amongst you and another person, you’ll be doing everything you can to get in front of them.

Remember in high school when you would make the second round trip around the halls just to walk by their locker?

Now you are buying coffee in new places, taking lunch across town, and going to parties where they might be.

5) You find yourself distracted by them

Regardless of what you do, you’ll find yourself thinking about this person and losing time. You’ll be watching television and when the characters kiss, you’ll be wishing it was you.

You’ll be bringing them into conversations that have nothing to do with them. It’s all part of the tension that exists between you. Maybe it’s time to do something about it?

6) You daydream about them

It’s hard to keep our brain focused on a good day, but a day when we suddenly realize we might be attracted to someone – it’s even harder!

You’ll be sitting at work thinking about dates, kissing, and more. Don’t worry though – it’ perfectly normal and fun! Just don’t get too caught up in daydreaming instead of making the real thing happen.

7) You just keep wishing they would kiss you

When you are together you want nothing more than for them to make the first move or to ask you out on a first date. Guess what! They are probably thinking the same thing.

That’s the thing about sexual tension: it’s tension because nobody is acting on their feelings!

8) There always feels like there is something unsaid between you

You hang on their every word waiting for a slip-up or sign or confession that they are into you. But you are also doing the same thing to them.

Nobody wants to make the first move. It’s a tricky thing when you are into someone, suspect they might be into you, and then everyone gets weirded out by it all and nothing happens.

9) You get a strange feeling around them

You might not even have good feelings about them! It could be that they drive you crazy, or you don’t know why but you just don’t like them.

That might be your subconscious telling you one thing and your conscious telling you another. If you love/hate someone, it could be because you actually really like them.

10) Body language is everything

If you fix your hair, if they fix theirs, if they lean in or touch your arm, pay attention to that.

The signs of sexual tension are pretty clear and as old as time itself. If someone likes you, whether they say it or not, they can show you with their body language.

11) You can’t help flirting

You laugh like school girls whenever you are around each other. It’s hard not to want to talk to them and you end up saying or doing silly things.

You’ll find yourself walking away asking yourself, “what did I just say?” and dying a little because you don’t flirt like that!

12) People comment about how good you would be together

Others notice that you spend time together or comment on how you would be a good couple.

It’s tempting to shout it from the rooftops, but it’s easier to just keep things the same. If you really want them, go for it.

Seems like everyone around you already knows the truth anyway!

13) People are jealous of what you have

If you are already in a relationship and find your significant other being jealous or worried about your behavior, or the behavior of your “crush”, it might be a sign that you are, actually into someone.

It could just be crazy talk, but usually, people are a good judge when someone is into you.

14) Increased heart rate and physical sensations

Does your heart rate tick up? Do your hands get sweatier?

According to Dr. Kirk, this is actually the stimulation of adrenaline and norepinephrine:

“This can lead to having a physical sensation of craving and the desire to focus your attention on that specific person.”

Is it sexual chemistry? 5 signs to look out for

It’s a mistake that many people make and while the draws of attraction are strong, they are not enough to help a relationship last.

You need to be able to determine ahead of time if this person is worth pursuing or not, because let’s face it, you’ve only got so much precious time to give away to other people and you want to make the most of that time, don’t you? Sure, you do.

So we put together some tips to help you determine if you’ll have good sexual chemistry with someone you are crushing on.

There are lots of nice people in the world, but you don’t want to date all of them. Here’s how you can tell which ones are worth your time and effort.

1) It Doesn’t Feel Forced

One of the hardest parts of starting any relationship is the pressure to get it right. People get tongue-tied and trip on their words, they try really hard, and end up making fools of themselves half the time.

But when you have good chemistry, you don’t have to try so hard. Things flow naturally and conversation is easy.

You feel comfortable to talk to the person and you like talking to them. One key sign that you’ll have good chemistry with someone is when you feel good about yourself talking to them.

If someone can make you feel good in a conversation, there’s a good chance you’ll have a strong bond and good chemistry.

2) You Feel Drawn to Them

And vice versa. If you find yourself closer to someone than you expected or are suddenly surprised by the proximity of your crush, rest easy.

This means that you have good chemistry. Your bodies literally bring you together because they want to be together.

Our brains are often slow to catch up with what our bodies are doing and that’s why you could be surprised by the kind of people you are attracted to. The body knows what it wants.

Don’t ignore the signs and see where the chemistry leads. Getting close and feeling comfortable is a great way to tell if there will be good chemistry between the two of you.

3) You Sustain Eye Contact

If you can look into each other eyes and it doesn’t get weird, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll spark good chemistry together.

Eye contact is one of the hardest things for people to not only initiate, but maintain. It’s difficult because it’s so personal and you feel exposed more than you’ll ever feel exposed.

The idea that someone can see you for all you are and you cannot hide is intimidating for a lot of people.

If you can lock gazes and not rush to look away, your sexual chemistry is probably aligned and you’ll be a good fit for one another.

4) You Move in Sync

While you might not always move at the same time or make the same movements, you seem to flow to and from one another. It’s natural and doesn’t feel awkward.

It’s like a dance, but there’s no dance floor in sight. When you have good chemistry with someone, you move to each other’s rhythms and you respect the space and timing without each realizing it.

It’s beautiful to see how couples come and go together without having to force the interaction.

If you are wondering if you’d have good chemistry with someone, get close to them and see how your bodies flow together.

5) Your Instincts Guide You

If you feel drawn to someone and you don’t know why, it’s probably because you’ll have good chemistry together.

You don’t have to think about what to say or how to move, your body and mind just seem to click and you go together instinctively.

You get it and you get each other. If you get the urge to steal a kiss, you should go with it. Our bodies don’t lie.

We can’t always know where it’s coming from, but we can always do something about those thoughts and feelings.

In Conclusion

Give yourself a chance to find out if you and your crush will have good chemistry before you ever strike up a relationship.

Not only is it good research, it’s mighty fun to see how you interact with someone you are attracted to.

Attraction is great, but it’s not everything.

What matters more is that you can ebb and flow with another person in a way that is meaningful for you both. When it works, it just works. There’s no effort required.

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In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirit articles. To make a donation, select the amount and click the "donate" button below.

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a more mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.