Victor Farinelli: Ink Master Review (Episode 8)

By Victor Farinelli Ink Master is a train wreck and Sarah Miller is the engineer. As I said in my last post, she needs serious mood stabilizing medication. She is a shitstorm of manic depression. This episode is not different.

This episode was the black and gray challenge, and the special guest judge was Mr. Freddy Negrete. The twist this time around was that they had to work in teams. For the flash challenge, the contestants had to create an image on scratchboard. Since Tatu Baby was the winner of last week’s elimination challenge, she got to pick the teams for this flash challenge. She stuck Sarah with Mark “I got one foot out the door” Matthews. The other teams were Clint Cummings with Jamie Davis, Steve Tefft with Sebastian Murphy, and Tatu Baby with Jesse Smith…

The winners of the flash challenge were Team Baby-Smith. The worst was definitely Team Unstable: Sarah and Mark. It was bird shit on a plate.

(Sarah and Mark’s shit stain)

As a result of this challenge Jesse and Tatu Baby got to pick the teams for the elimination challenge, in which they had to tattoo as a team again. This means that both tattooists had to tattoo at the same time on the same person… or “human canvas” as Dave likes to call them. That is so degrading. They are fucking human beings. Sorry, I got a little “Mad Sarah-Sybil” there for a second; I am okay now.

In this challenge, the teams were Mark with Sebastian, Steve with Jamie, Clint with Sarah and Jesse with Tatu Baby. Not only did they have to tattoo their clients at the same time, but the artists had to work together on the concept, so that one tattoo did not clash with the other. Some contestants chose to do two separate pieces, and some chose to do one tattoo together.

I can’t believe I am going to say this, but I actually feel sorry for Clint. Sarah was just wiping the client’s skin without any concern that Clint might be trying to tattoo a solid line or something. As a result, Clint had to just wait for her to get done before he could go back in and clean up his part. Clint, I might give you shit because you’re an arrogant doofus, but you really got the short end of the stick on this one. I think I would have flipped-the-fuck-out on her.

Steve did really well on this challenge, but he could not be outshined by Tatu Baby. She did another fine tattoo and was winner again this week.

(Tatu Baby’s tattoo; Jesse’s tattoo next to Tatu Baby’s tattoo)

You will never guess who was on the bottom in this challenge. You guessed it: Sarah. Of course, Clint was with her, but I think whoever was paired with her would have been fucked on this challenge. Mark was the other bottom feeder, which is to be expected. Sarah went into fucking emotional overload when the judges asked her why she should stay. Dave finally said something I can get behind: “Wow.” She is a fucking hair-trigger away from ending up on another reality show, The First 48, for going apeshit and stabbing the fuck out of someone. Sarah… ummm… I take back all I said… Ha-ha… all in good fun… Right… Fun? Er, erm (gulp).

(Sarah’s part is on the top and Clint’s is on the bottom. Note the weirdness in the left arm holding the demon’s horn. Huh?)

Sarah lucked out with Mark still in the competition. He finally got the boot after scratching so many piece of shit tattoos on people. The producers should never have put him on the show. They are just as much to blame for all those piece of shit tattoos as Mark is. Mark, you have no business tattooing. You disrespect the craft and the legacy of tattooing.

(Mark’s piece of shit)

Every week I tell myself that I need to stop watching this show, but I can’t. It is like an accident. You know it is not right to look and gawk, but you do anyway. Then you are traumatized by the horror and swear you will not look again… then you do. Fascinating.