How To: Intimidate People

We’ve all been intimidated by someone — whether it’s the burly bouncer who won’t let you into Bungalow 8 (even if you have ID, a reservation and a friend who works behind the bar) or your ex's new boyfriend (who’s got the looks, money and pretty much everything you don’t). Well, what if the intimidated — that’s you, the quivering wreck in the corner — could become the intimidator? If you never thought that possible, think again. With a few simple tricks of the intimidation trade, you could be the guy who makes others’ eyes avert to the floor when you walk in the room, and who induces fully grown men to squeal when you make any sudden movements around them. You have to admit that sounds pretty cool, right? Well, here is precisely how to master the tricky game of intimidation.

the ideal intimidator

The first thing to learn is that there are two distinct styles of intimidation: 1) The kind where you don a wife-beater, set fire to your neighbor’s cat and get taken away in cuffs and 2) The kind where you dazzle in a razor-edged suit, woo with your charm and wisdom, and make everyone around you feel about two inches tall. We’re interested in the latter, as the first kind crosses over into bullying territory, which you don’t need to do if you’re worth being intimidated by. If you’re a man of wit, culture and charm — or if you’re perceived to be — you don’t need to use brute force or flaunt your criminal record to demonstrate your intimidation-inducing masculinity.

Hold to your values

So, the first thing you need to know about intimidating others with class is that you should never tell someone what they should think of you. Bragging is the least credible way to go about intimidating someone, and borders on desperate. Instead, begin building your reputation by establishing yourself as a man of values. Resist the urge to crack under peer pressure. Even if you started smoking because your high school friends told you to, it doesn’t mean you have to repeat this pattern in adulthood. Take charge of your life, your actions and the consequences of your decisions, and say no to things you’d rather not do. It’ll leave quite the strong impression on people, and make them wish they could be as strong. Remember: Being independent of social and professional pressure and retaining your integrity doesn’t make you less manly; in fact, it shows you have balls of steel and you’re worth having as a friend, employee or mate. Resist the urge to be self-righteous, however, as that only undermines the values you uphold.

Intimidate through your body language

At some point during your life, you will find yourself in a confrontational situation. Instead of shrinking back, use this chance to reaffirm your status as a man of substance, and to let people know in no uncertain terms that you are deserving of an intimidating reputation.