Annie

July 1997

Growing Up Gay in A Straight World

I was thinking about the world in which we live last night. Here's
my conclusion -- I'm a female living in a male-dominated world, I'm
left-handed living in a right-handed world and last, but not least,
I'm a homosexual living in a heterosexual world. Not bad, huh?

A couple of weeks ago, I saw two women holding hands at Scheel's
sports store. It was very strange because I thought, "Hey, what's
this?"

I've also been paying a lot of attention to television. Have you
ever noticed the stuff they put on the tube? God, it's just
incredible. You have men wearing little more than thongs and women
wearing little more than a g-string and piece of lace. These people
are performing acts that if carried a little further could make a
pornographic video. I find it incredible that they can show this
stuff, yet it would ruin the minds of children to show two women
walking hand in hand.

The thing that I hate most is the fact that, in person, I've only
seen two homosexual couples showing affection towards each other. By
affection, I mean things as simple as holding hands. Worst of all,
both times I saw these couples my first thought was "Whoa! What's
this?" That shouldn't have been my thought. I should've been able to
walk past them without thinking a single thing.

Sometimes I feel very alone because I don't know any other people
like me. I shouldn't say that because I do know two lesbians in town,
but they're about three decades older than me and we have absolutely
nothing in common.

You know what my perfect day would be? I'd wake up to a k.d. lang
song on the radio, stumble out of bed and turn on the TV to a
Folger's in your cup commercial featuring two sleepy women instead of
a man and a woman. After that, I would take a shower, then dress in
my Gitano jeans and Gay Pride t-shirt. Then, I'd go downtown and see
tons of heterosexual and homosexual couples talking and laughing
together. In the afternoon, I'd go to a lesbian play down at the
community theatre. The day would end by having a community pep rally
for gay rights down at the high school football field.

This, everyone, is a dream day that will, eventually, come true.
It won't come true in my lifetime, but I guarantee that one day it
will happen. In the meantime, stay proud, stay strong and most of all
have fun!