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We’re sorry Tarot Tuesday is a bit late tonight. As would have it, the cards will be read when they’re ready to be read.

Tonight we have a special treat as we’ve injected a little (well 18 months worth) of testosterone into this spread we call the playshop. Please, enjoy this guest post from one of our favorite masculine humanicorns.

Enjoy,

Traci

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18 months of testosterone injections arranged and inspired by the death card in a tarot deck.

The 13th card of the major arcana is the death card. It is a card of transformation and rebirth. Of clearing space and new beginnings. A card holding both masculine and feminine, death asks us to make good use of what is now past, to carry those stories with us.The 12 empty bottles and the one still in use is 18 months of hormone replacement for a trans man. Gathering up the bottles is a sort of meditation. It’s a breath while standing at a precipice, overlooking a future of permanent male passing. What will he do with the experience and understanding from the past? What will he carry with him from his past life into the next?

I often hear stories of families in transition – Parents, in particular talk about grieving the loss of their son or daughter in order to be able to accept their “newly” gendered child. Anything that allows a parent to sit with their child in presence and love, including this sentiment, is something one can find gratitude in, but this has always challenged me. Who we once were will always inform who we are to become. Every moment of every day will die and pass, and each of these moments are threads woven into the fabric of who we are to be.

The death card is a reminder that energy cannot be created or destroyed, that we take with us what seems to be lost. All is not lost. We build our future from the structure of the past. Your structure has been built. The death card clears away what is not to serve you in your current venture. See the space. Weave your tapestry.

How are all you magickal queer creatures of dissent and power? Have the struggle of being unicorns in a pony world been particularly challenging as of late (Click here if “Everything is Awful”)?

I hope not and, if it has, I hope that you’re turning to all of the healing resources you have in your fabulous glittered fanny pack survival kits! Including, but not limited to, your tarot decks! Here are are some thoughts on the power and disclaimers of using tarot as queer folks especially when we’re in particularly fragile states.

PROS:

Tarot is cheap! If you can scrounge up the funds for the perfect queer tarot deck keep it nearby for quick guidance. If you can’t, for the time being, there are lots of free generators to pull with online!

We have direct access to the wisdom of tarot! While you can pay for a reading from a fabulous fishnet fucking tarot reading femme, you can also do some reading online from your queer tarot community so you can read the cards for yourself. Still want a reading? Make sure to pick someone who is a good sparkly unicorn reflection of yourself (as well as a bit more experienced in tarot). Maybe it’s a friend or an internet friend waiting to happen! No cash? Maybe they want to resource swap/trade with one of your amazing talents?

Tarot draws our attention to the subconscious. Sometimes when we’re stuck in a rut or feel like we’re hitting a wall tarot can draw our attention to something outside of our conscious frame of reference. It literally “queers” our process.

CONS

A tarot deck’s images are of the collective and (classically) informed by the collective culture of the time and space they were created in. That may or may not include us as we manifest right in this rainbow reflected moment. This doesn’t mean these images aren’t helpful, but we may have to be open to a little bit more interpretation than someone who has more majority affirmed identities.

Tarot isn’t validated by our Western medical culture of pathology and recovery. When you go into see your psychiatrist they probably aren’t going to suggest that you take a moment to take three deep breaths (same count on inhalation/exhalation) into your belly, clear some space on your bed, and pull a tarot card before popping a Xanax or offer you a discount on your next session so you can pre-order the much anticipated Slow Holler deck. Probably… if your psychiatrist offers these services please let us know so that we turn our full devotion to becoming their voluntary public relations team.

Tarot is fueled by our energy and open to our interpretation. This means that when we’re in a darker space our reads might also reflect this. There are times when all the tarot has to offer is tough love, but generally there is a super cheery pep talk in there somewhere if you look for it. However, this might pose a problem if we have challenges in finding these pieces when we’re in places of depression and anxiety. While I’ve had readings that are pretty straight forward and heavy handed (“you don’t know me, Wild Unknown Tarot and Collective Tarot!”), more often than not there are several ways I could read a spread. I try to always hold that tarot is about opening up my frame of reference not showing me walls. Furthermore, that my pulls will never show me anything that isn’t already (energetically) sitting inside of me which means that I have agency over the process. So, my unicorn friends, if you’re having a particularly rough day, or have just pulled a (seemingly) rough spread, or un-coincidentally, both. Take a moment to re-assess.

Overall, we think that our tarot decks are a pretty great place to turn to when everything feels awful (btw have we mentioned that we LOVE this guide?). They’re also not particularly bad places to turn to when everything is going our way and we need guidance on which way to gently steer the soft pillows from heaven we seem to be floating on. It’s no surprise that tarot seems to resonate with our communities because it’s a queer, un-validated by the institutionalized culture, accessible, artistic, intuitive, and perfect practice… just like all of you!

In Queer Tarot Process,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

Some of you folks that follow our twitter may have already caught when this guy last came through town (and our pulls). However, on this cool morning with the sun peaking through the clouds, hanging out somewhere between the Summer and Fall seasons (of the year and my life) I couldn’t think of any better wisdom to leave here in the playshop.

The Tarot of the Sweet Twilight comes with short poignant explanations of the cards. It’s size has encouraged me to travel with it and pull from it in the places in between my destinations. As I return to the deck’s introduction I see now that this occurrence is about so much more than convenience.

“Tarot decks, are in part, about balance. They are tools that help you find a connection between you and the Universe. They are doors that you can walk through into different worlds. The Sweet Twilight is certainly this… and more. Twilight is the place between places and time outside of time. The images speak to the sad knowledge that while twilight is between day and night, it is moving toward night. They also are filled with sweet naivety- whether you think that comes from the day before or the hope for the day to come is up to you!”

The Hanged Man card in The Tarot of the Sweet Twilight is particularly beautiful. I can’t help but feel that while the Hanged Man holds an important lesson in any deck, the magic of twilight makes him significantly powerful in Cristina Benintende’s interpretation. As I sat at an airport gate traveling between two places and as I sit here at my desk trying to move back into a regular schedule his reminder is just what I need.

“The Hanged Man tries to possess beauty and truth. Only after he is himself transformed does he know that you cannot possess truth and beauty; you must become them.”

Just in case you’re hanging out reading blogs today and you needed a little reminder I thought I would share.

In search of becoming,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

In preparation for this reading Traci and I worked together to determine what questions would make up the spread. After some back and forth we settled on these questions:

What is our community’s greatest strength?

What shadows do we need to be aware of?

What guidance/awareness should we hold for the present future?

There are many different spreads you can use for a reading. Personally, though I know several standard threads, I prefer creating my own spread with personalized questions. I feel creating my own spread allows me to really get down to the heart of the matter and this gives me greater clarity in deciphering the meaning of the cards. The spread is a roadmap that your intuition gets to walk down, so the clearer the points of reference (the questions) are, the easier it is to find clarity in the process.

Before starting the reading I burn white sage I recently wildcrafted. I open a window and let the smoke blow over the cards and over me. I reflect on the questions, take a few deep breaths, ground.. and then I begin to shuffle the cards. As I shuffle I wait for a sense that the cards are ready to be pulled from, a subtle sense in my body that it’s time to stop shuffling. With this reading the feeling of being done comes quickly. I cut the deck into three piles and pull from the pile I feel most drawn to.

The first card I pull is the community’s greatest strength: Six of Swords.Six of swords is a card about putting down your weapons. It’s a time of reprieve during a fierce battle. It is a sign of hope that rises during an often very draining struggle. Swords are cards about air, mental acuity, understanding with our minds, and internal struggle. These sometimes scary looking cards are often tied to anxiety, shame-based-wounds, internalized oppression and self doubt.

I feel that the cards are saying that Compassionate Revolt’s greatest strength is your ability to find a sense of peace, compassion, hope, reprieve and safety within a world that is constantly trying to destroy that which is sacred. If we understand the world to be an oppressive place and a place that we must navigate in order to exist in this life, then we understand our lives as necessarily being invested in finding skills that bolster resilience in the face of oppression. And through all the busyness, all the pain, all the wounds and wandering and loss and confusion, there is always much to do. Always a sense that we haven’t done enough. The 6 of swords is a reminder that we are whole as we are. That people love us. That there is peace in stillness. It tells us that we don’t need to feel guilty for wanting and needing to access that place of peace sometimes. We can use that place, cultivated in community and within ourselves, as a means of finding much needed spiritual nurturance. It seems that your community offers this kind of reprieve and permission to it’s members. This work is your greatest strength.

The second card I pulled is the shadows you need to be aware of: Five of Swords.

And here we see the pain and anguish that the six of swords offers reprieve from. The five of swords is card about self destruction. It’s about pain and conflict and feeling torn apart. The swords are strewn about after a battle and the worm is cut in pieces. Worms are capable of surviving after having their bodies cut apart, but in this process something is lost that can not be returned.

I feel this card is suggesting that there is a shadow of grief to address. This grief arises from circumstances that feel like insurmountable loss. It does not mean the loss is insurmountable, but it feels like it is. This is a big part of how trauma lives in our bodies – and it would seem, how it lives in your community.

This card is also about the battles we fight. The battles where it may be more self preserving to just walk away. And yet we know that just because walking away would be self preserving, does not mean it is always an option. You can’t always walk away from a cop yielding a gun. From a man harassing you on the street. From a border that you walked to because you have nowhere else to turn.

I believe that this card is asking you to address the deep grief. The grief that lies in the shadows because it feels impossible to talk about. Like no words exist. Like there is only mycelium and no mushroom. The grief that tears us apart and leaves our bodies so acclimatized to conflict and pain, that we invite more pain into our lives just to learn how to process it. Because we are used to it. Because we want to understand. Because sometimes we lose our vision that anything else can exist.

It’s time to talk about the pain that feels unspeakable. Because the truth is: it’s there, whether you address it directly or not. Give it voice. Let the vulnerability of your admissions of fear and terror and loneliness breathe life into what it means to be alive and wounded in these times.This is your work to be done in the shadows.

The third card I pulled is the guidance and awareness to hold for the future: 7 of pentacles.Pentacles are earth. They are the ground: sturdy, home, work ethic, natural discipline and practice. The seven of pentacles is a card where we look at what we have built. Notice what we have accumulated. Evaluate what we have earned. We do this in order to decide: is it worth it? What am I gaining from this process? Have I built as much I expected I would?

Often we get caught in traps of evaluating our worth by the standards of capitalism: how much money am I making? Do I have security? We are taught to understand security to mean things like savings, insurance and home ownership. This is the rubric we are taught to understand success from within colonial capitalism, but these things do not represent deep true security. How clean is our water? How nourished are our spirits? Where does our food come from? Are we able to speak our truth and be grounded in the value of both our voice and our ability to listen? These things are just a small part of what true security looks like.

The 7 of pentacles appears when it is time to evaluate and it encourages us to understand our worth and the worth of our work to be situated within the world of the elements: spirit, water, earth, fire and air. Our souls, our feelings, our home, our passions and our truth. The 7 of pentacles encourages you to focus on deep security and measure the value of your work with these ideas in mind.These should be the guiding principles you work from moving forward.

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Thank you so much for your tarot guidance, Andi! We’re so grateful for the compassionate revolutionary healing energy you’ve shared with our community!

If you’re a tarot reader, blogger, or enthusiast and would like to share space with us here at COM|PASSionate REVOLT drop us a line! We would love to have you around the playshop!

Andi is a gender-fucking-fishnet-femme currently growing food, slipping on ice and falling in love on the un-ceded territory of the Sinixt people (otherwise known as the west Kootenays of BC). They are a visitor on this land where they are making a home in a queer and trans landsteading project called the homostead. They are a settler whose family lineage descends mostly from Northern Scots (on their father’s side) and German Mennonites (on their mother’s side). They are a poet, facilitator, tarot card reader, youth worker, sex educator, community organizer, photographer, blogger, gardener, herbalist, amateur astrologer, kitchen-witch and a formerly extroverted, former yoga teacher.

We had such an amazing weekend at Catalyst Con West having “exceptional conversations about sexuality.” We learned some new things, engaged in conversations about things we’d been contemplating ourselves, explored who we are trying to reach from this little corner of the universe and just what the best way is to reach each other!

We’ve been really lucky to have been able to have done quite a bit of “conferencing” this summer. Sure, our hearts were a little broken that we didn’t make it out to Amorous Revolt last month, but between Gender Spectrum, Gender Odyssey, and Catalyst Con we really can’t complain. Going to such a smattering of conferences, these little intentional bubbles of community conversation, got us thinking about how important format/structure are in our offerings.

We may want to share information but if we don’t know how to get it to those we’re trying to reach it doesn’t get anywhere. We may want to make space for conversation but if we can’t build cultures of safety and openness they aren’t going to happen. We may want to offer support to others around us but if we’re not mindful of how we do so we may not be helpful.

This spread is to shed some light on how to offer intentional and appropriate support to others. It reminds you that you sit at the base of any support you offer, and, therefore, that energy towards your own self-care is a worthy act. Lastly, it checks in with the “heart of the matter” and any underlying reminders or intention informing our desire to support others that we might not be aware of on the surface.

Shuffle your deck as you contemplate the concept and function of support. When finished, cut your deck for as many people or groups you are drawing a card for including yourself (for example: if you want to draw for two others you will cut three times all together). Think about a person or group during each cut and then re-stack your deck. Set out your cards as shown in the diagram. Your last “heart of the matter” card can be the last card that you draw or you can flip over your deck and take the bottom card.

I played a bit with this spread and this is what I got. My heart warmed as I flipped The Star card as my heart of the matter. I absentmindedly ran my finger over the tattoo in the crease of my right elbow that holds the words: “The Star Awaits” underneath a nod to “Disaster” or “The Tower.”

In a time when I know I need to put consciousness to support the individual changes I’m experiencing as well as honoring my desperate desire to support those I love around me in ways that make sense to them– the star card reminds me to have “hope and peace of mind.” The Wild Unknown interpretation offers the reassurance:

“Even though you can’t find concrete answers to life’s many questions up there in the sky, you can’t help but feel comforted and renewed. Such is the energy of the star card. It is not about actions or situations, it’s simply about connecting to the parts of you that feel hopeful and serene.”

When I sit in places of hopeful serenity it suddenly becomes clear where I can support others, whether they need something functional or just for me to be nearby energetically, it clears up what part of support I’m truly offering for them and what parts are about my own need to ease anxiety through my inclination for service.

Support is an animal of delicate constitution in need of very specific care taking. This spread is an offering to this important healing but complicated practice.

In support and service,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

I’ve been getting in a little community and travel therapy this past week. My body’s tired but it’s been magick for the spirit!

I didn’t come back with a lot of travel themed souvenirs but I did go a little tarot deck crazy. I was traipsing about the historic Pike’s Place Farmer’s Market and stumbled away from the crowds towards the familiar calling scents of Patchouli and Nag Champa. It’s funny how a small new age/dirty hippie store looks kind of the same no matter where you go. I strolled about the small space a bit aimlessly, seeing the familiar oils, essences, and incense burners. Noticing a tarot reader in back and tarot section in their few shelves of books I took a quick gander. I then took one last grounding breath of aroma therapy and turned myself bravely towards the chaos of the market at midday that awaited outside the shop’s doors.

Luckily (or due to the Fates), I got a few extra minutes outside of the shop waiting for afternoon travel plans to solidify. I foggily gazed back at the store and noticed a Wild Unknown poster in the window. I had been eyeing this deck for awhile, knowing I could order it online, but also sort of waiting for it to find me. Intrigued, I went back into the store and sure enough, on a second glance, with a little more intention, there it sat in the display case I had stood directly over a few minutes before! I couldn’t resist and I’m so happy I didn’t!

I’m sure there will be many more Tarot Tuesdays devoted to a lovefest with The Wild Unknown but for now I couldn’t think of anything more appropriate for this little playshop space that we’ve built here together other than Kim Krans’ opening invitation into this beautiful deck:

“I quickly noticed the realm of tarot is a confusing & intimidating place. There are a lot of contradicting voices out there about how to use the cards & what they mean… You’ll probably come up against these feelings too as you start to give readings to yourself or others. Doubts, fears, “I can’t do this”, “I don’t know enough”.

Well here’s the thing: you do know enough. You’ve been a person on earth every day since you were born. You’ve experienced all the emotions and situations these cards depict. Quiet the naysayer… don’t let him prevent you from sitting down with a friend (or yourself) & using these cards to help you talk about what’s going on in your life. It will be positive. It will be radical. You’ll find things start to reveal themselves through the cards that have been hidden away, covered with dust. May these cards bring you moments of peace & steadiness. I would be so honored.”

{Kim Krans}

In Honor of OUR Wild Unknown,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

Hello again Tarot Enthusiasts, Healers, and Those in Search of Healing!

I have a little practice offering this morning in the Playshop!

This weekend I drew the Seven of Bottles (or traditionally Cups).

This card holds so much meaning for me both in it’s classical interpretations and in The Collective Tarot’s poignant queer imagery. The Seven of Bottles or Cups reminds us to get “grounded within when making choices.” It is aware of the many choices that are presented to us– some based in reality and some wrapped in illusion. It invites us to take a breath before moving if we need to. However, it also reminds us not to get overwhelmed and subsequently stuck in inactivity.

Clarity Practice

Essential Oils: Sage + Mint

You can either use a diffused spray version or dab a bit of diluted mint and sage onto your wrists, underneath your nose, on your temples, and on your third eye.

Pull the Seven of Bottle/Seven of Cups from your deck. Take a moment to sit with the card. Send awareness and attention towards decisions presenting themselves in your life. This may be a singular point of focus or just general querying around life journey movement.

Take some slow twists. Lying on your back with knees into your chest and then falling over to one side and the other allows you to be grounded to the earth as you twist out new space. However, any twists that your mobility allows for can be utilized here. In this way internal organ body and rest and digest system are engaged in your practice.

Next find a position that allows for the deepest and clearest breath. One of my favorites, supported savasana, is shown: here. This pose allows for open breath and open heart while also supported and grounded from underneath. Giving heart space to this practice is open but receiving heart space is kept safe. Some options for those with lower back sensitivity are to bring the soles of the feet to the earth with knees bent, walk the feet away from each other, and let the knees fall together gently. Alternately, if one doesn’t have lower back issues, the soles of the feet can be brought together while knees fall outward (reclined butterfly or cobbler’s pose). Care should be taken that a heart opener can intensify when paired with a hip opener. Our hips hold our powerful water energy that can help us sink fluidly into change. However, our hips also hold a lot of our emotional memory and can be a great source of vulnerability for many.

Again, any heart opening exercise should be done safely and with compassion for oneself. Choose one that feels good to you!

Once in your chosen position, start to take some deep breaths. Create balance for yourself by finding an even count on inhalation and exhalation. Take in the sage and mint to clear and uplift your consciousness to a bird’s eye view of the decisions at hand. Allow yourself to view your potential movement with neutrality and equanimity. Once you feel like you have a good scope on the situation focus on taking your breath down into your core and making any decisions from this deep centered space.

During the process attempt to keep your breath even and flowing. Notice if your thought process starts to draw up anxiety and your breath becomes shallow. Draw your breath down and even it out. It’s also helpful to be aware that many of us rush through our days without breathing very deeply. The depth of your breath in itself may create unfamiliar sensations in your body.

While this is a relatively safe practice, always follow your own internal guidance and take care of where you’re at. Pause for breaks if you need to. Decisions don’t have to be solidified all in one session.

After you feel your practice is completed, engage some sort of folding/turning in practice. If on your back you can draw your knees into chest and repeat twists. You can also fold forward over your knees or even lay on your side in the fetal position. Take some time to see how your decision feels in this less conscious portion of this practice. Note if you start to feel more settled or if it’s difficult to let your decision sink into the rest of your body.

Hopefully this practice is helpful! Know that you can do it for as little or long as you wish. If you’re someone that has a difficult time staying still or is dealing with a particularly long to do list, set a timer for an amount of time that feels right to you in your schedule so you fully focus on your breath practice and don’t have to keep checking in with a clock throughout the process.

Wishing you clarity,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.