What Trans People Are Really Saying Online

Changes to Comment Policy

From now on, comments by transgender people that do not take a stance critical of “brain sex” theory and current trans dogma will be rejected and not published.

Women and men (and especially women, at an alarming rate) are being barred from institutions and speaking engagements and employment because they are openly skeptical of aspects of the transgender narrative. Transgender people certainly refuse to give people with our perspective “equal time” in their spaces. This space is to document what exists in the transgender forums in some parts of the internet. We’re not here to have this behavior handwaved away. We’re not interested in the trans party line on brain studies supposedly proving that “brain sex” is real, that “gender identity” is inborn, why you think biological sex is a spectrum, or anything else. If you want to discuss those topics, find a forum more willing to accept your commentary–this is not one of them.

This is a place for us to document the cult-like tactics of the trans community, the abusers being shielded by the trans community to further their politics, and the recruitment tactics of young people into transgender beliefs. If you’re not here to discuss these issues, comment on a different blog.

12 thoughts on “Changes to Comment Policy”

I haven’t got a clue about brain sex, which means that this probably won’t be published, but that’s okay, because all I really wanted to do was to thank you for creating this site.

I am male bodied. For decades, thanks to gender roles read when I was eight years old, I “identified” as female. Recently I reassessed my position and after spending my whole life rejecting gender roles, or rules as some call them, decided to completely throw out the entire concept of gender as a waste of time.

Now my only “identity” is “me”, human being, (which is probably how it’s really been for my whole life being completely honest, I just formalise/express it these days)

You would perhaps think that I struggled when I was a kid, especially reading the whole, “trapped in the wrong body” rhetoric, but I didn’t. Quite the contrary, I used the presumption of me being male to my advantage and had an absolute blast, doing loads of things that my female friends just weren’t allowed to do. And that carried on, well, to the present day really.

I’ve never cared what my body looks like, as long as it works efficiently enough that I can make it do the things that I want to do. End of story.

However, if I was eight years old now and going through what I went through, then rather than looking through books at the library how I did, I’d be looking online, and I would be exposed to precisely the kind of things which you highlight.

It would have screwed me up. My entire childhood would have been influenced by not only what I was reading, but the way that it would make me feel and I would very likely be thoroughly miserable. Much like the kids you quote in your blog.

Even now, because of my past, I’ve had harassment from here, there and everywhere, (not least the medical community), urging me to do this and that to my mind, body and lifestyle. It’s an appalling situation which has been created.

The “transgender” lobby/cult is a disturbing, frightening thing and I’m extremely grateful to you for taking a stand when I am too cowardly to do so myself. Thank you. Genuinely thank you.

Rather than being encouraged and press ganged into making wholesale changes to their bodies and their lives, these kids need to be encouraged to learn to love themselves, to be confident and to be whoever they want to be, regardless of what society may dictate.

Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Please, please, please, keep up the work you’re doing here. Hopefully some of these kids and especially their parents will see it and it will begin a much needed dialogue.

For what it’s worth, I also support the view of no “transgender” identified individuals in female spaces, (bathrooms, changing facilities, shelters). It’s just common sense from a safety and respect point of view, which is something those lobbying for access seem only to happy to completely ignore. I can’t ignore it.

Hi SomeoneSomewhere
I am a female-bodied, 40-something person and I also reject the notion of gender (vs physical sex). My gender is “Jan” and I try to be the best person, daughter, mother and wife that I can be. I am curious to know how old you are. My daughter is/has been brainwashed into believing that she is transgender by all of the internet information she found, prior to letting us (her parents) know she was feeling “uncomfortable”. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I’m not that far behind you in age, I’ll be entering the same decade next year.

Perhaps if I tell you a little more of my personal story, you might find something useful to your current situation, because it deviates by some distance from the “transgender norm”.

Up until the age of eight, I had no real concept of gender, I knew that some of my friends were called girls and generally liked doing some things and some were called boys and generally liked doing other things.

We then started to have swimming lessons and because I had walked round chatting to my friends people referred to as girls, I lined up to change with them, fully intending to continue the conversation which we were having. When I was told to go with my friends people referred to as boys, I actually thought that it was because there were more “girls” than “boys” and they wanted to even the numbers up. So went along with it without objection. (The following week, I had been walking and chatting with the “boys” and so I lined up with them, for exactly the same reason, to continue the conversation).

The third week, I was walking and chatting with the “girls” again, and this time I did kick up a stink because several girls were off, the numbers were even and I demanded to know why I was being moved, (isn’t naive childhood logic brilliant?). I was told that it was because “boys” and “girls” were different, but they refused to tell me how. So off I trotted to the library at the end of the day.

It became clear very quickly that I had a male body, that it was a “boy’s” and would become a “man’s”, but when it came to all the non physical stuff that I read about defining each, the opposite was true. So I concluded that my genitalia was just a birth defect.

Now I was lucky here. I knew people with birth defects. I knew that it made absolutely no difference to who a person was. This coupled with the fact that my grandfather had made it very clear to me that I should not judge people by their appearance because that is insignificant compared to who they are inside, (personality), and how they behave.

This meant that I was entirely untroubled by my “discovery”. To be honest, I actually forgot about it until aged 11 or 12, my best friend told me she wanted to be my girlfriend.

Long story short, it was a very homophobic time and given my understanding of my situation at that time, I didn’t want to put her in the position of being abused for being a lesbian. So I “came out” as they say.

Nothing ever really changed in practical terms, other than my friends using female pronouns, being officially excluded from the “boys club”, and my female friends dragging me into the toilets, (which I hated, that’s where they all went to smoke, it was very difficult to breathe in there).

I have to admit, I liked how comfortable they were around me, (they changed in front of/with me, included me in sleepovers, and all that kinda thing, all the while, ignoring my “birth defect” and the very obvious growing differences between us). I never asked for that. I certainly never expected it. I was just grateful, mainly because if they treated me the same way the males had, I think I would have become pretty lonely.

Now that acceptance, as I got older, made me realise that if they could accept differences that huge, they would probably accept me if I started being myself completely, rather than pretending a lot, in order to fit in. The only problem was that I didn’t know who I was, so I started to find out. I was about fifteen at the time.

A couple of years later, I knew who I was, (personality, I was still entirely ignoring the gender/physical situation), realised that I liked who I was, and dropped the act. That’s when I became truly happy and realised that was also the most important thing.

Now specific to the gender/physical thing. I had always ignored gender roles and rules, even before I was aware of them. Already captain of the school soccer team in primary school, I also wanted to be on the school netball team, (we played when we weren’t allowed on the field to play soccer, I enjoyed it and I was good at it too). I was almost successful in my attempts too, it was only complaints from parents at other schools which prevented me from doing so, though I did play a few friendlies. I also, as captain, did away with the whole “Girls can’t play football” rubbish surrounding soccer at the time. If they wanted to play, and several did, they played.

The rest of my life has been that way. I remained untroubled by gender, or my physique, (as I think I said earlier, I soon realised that the body I had and the presumptions people made about me gave me a hell of a lot more freedom than any of my female bodied friends had, so I actually grew to appreciate my body for that reason, and it still rings true today. If not for my male body, my midnight strolls would likely end due to fear of possible sexual assault). I just did what I wanted, and do what I want, regardless of what society dictates I should be because of the damn roles/rules.

It can be hard, sometimes it does mean facing a lot of criticism and pressure, but because I had the correct support, was taught well, and learned to love myself, gaining more and more self esteem and confidence as that love grew, I was able to get through the more difficult times without a great deal of effort.

I don’t know if any of that helps you in any way, but I hope there is something that is helpful in that lot, for both of you.

A word about medical practitioners…

I live in the UK, so what I am about to tell you is UK specific, but something to bear in mind…

A few years ago, I had an issue with my genitals, an excruciatingly painful physical issue. It had been going on for years and when I eventually went to a doctor, I was at the point where I just wanted rid of the problem, which I told them and I also told them not to worry about doing so because there were a number of reasons why I could easily live without the problematic body part, including the above.

Rather than actually investigating and treating my pain, (which could be resolved extremely easily), they instead spent 16 months trying to persuade me, cajole me, and even force me down the genital reassignment route.

I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. They only actually stopped when I took a lawyer to a doctors appointment and dared them to continue.

Now if I had been in a position where I had been reading and believing the transgender cult, or if I didn’t have to confidence to stand up for myself and what I want/need, there is every chance that I would have gone along with them, and I’d be sitting here with a surgeons origami handiwork healing between my thighs.

The transgender lobby/cult have medical professionals so terrified that they play a part in the formation of “treatment paths”, and what I very quickly came to realise was that once doctors are involved, things can potentially snowball and accelerate very quickly, without a great deal of checks and balances, (all anybody wanting those surgeries really has to do is be consistent in asking for them, and with pressure and coaching from the cult, and a medical profession increasingly willing to bend over backwards for them, a very dangerous situation is beginning to emerge.

I’m not telling you this to scare you, there are still doctors who use their common sense and listen, rather than simply take over where the cult left off, just to be aware when it comes to choosing doctors if you decide or need to approach medical professionals at some point.

I myself am not anti surgery, if it is necessary for the individual to feel comfortable and happy, then I support it, but only if focusing and learning to love “who I am”, rather than the “what I am”, has failed to work.

To agree with Leslie Stafford..No one at.age 8 doesn’t know their sex..And how did he get into swim class without any boy’s or girl’s suit that would have.permanently communicated to the staff what his sex was. Once they’d seen the suit, they would have consistently put him or her with that sex.It’s a.bunch of nonsense..

I was mistaken for a girl immediately after birth but the error was corrected soon after. I didn’t find out about this until I was aged 50. Nonetheless I have wanted to be a girl or woman for as long as I can remember and cross dressed every day through my formative years until I started school. But I still can’t say that I was born that way. It could have been the result of my sisters dressing me as a girl as a baby and toddler.

I was 10 before my parents decided there was a serious problem, even though I had already been to ballet and dancing classes where I was the only boy. I had demanded the lessons. The tap dancing lessons were at first private but I didn’t learn much so I went into the group class which was all girl and suddenly I started to improve radically. The teacher was delighted and expressed her amazement to my mother as to how much I had improved by learning with girls.

I wasn’t all girly, however, and I enjoyed some male games and pastimes as well. When I was 10 I was taken to see a child pyschiatrist. He asked me straight out if I had even wanted to be a girl. I knew very well that I was a biological boy and I sensed a trap so I lied and said no. That is all I remember about the appointment but for the next year or two I was give a girl’s nightie to sleep in and I ran around the house in it quite unashamedly.

By the time was I was 12 my parents seemed to have forgotten about my gender problem and I was expected to be a boy. That lasted until I was fifteen and was taken to see another pyschiatrist because my parents had worked out I had been cross dressing with my sister’s clothes.

This shrink didn’t beat about the bush. He approached me in an accusatory manner and said “you want to be a girl.” That was a big mistake with a kid like me who was in mid puberty and loaded with testosterone. I swore at him and upended his desk over him and stalked out of his office cursing as I went leaving my shocked parents sitting in the waiting room.

After that I continued to dress cross in private and didn’t get found out again until I was 19. At that time my father tried to talk to me and said “you’re like a girl” which provoked a response that I think frightened him. He was aged 60 by that time.

From the age of 19 until my early to mid twenties I had several experiences where people said things that led me to question my sex even though I was straight acting. At one point one of my best male friends echoed my father’s comment and said “you’re like a girl.” I didn’t ask him why but clenched my fists and told him that if he was a friend I would have punched him out.

A year of so later I was getting a hair cut. I had shoulder length hair in keeping with the times and the young guy doing the cut said “I could do great things with your hair if you were a girl.” Later on I regretted not telling him to go ahead and do it. That comment made me realise that although I was a pretty strong and agile young guy I looked rather feminine.

By the time I was 22 I had a girlfriend and one day when we were at the beach I saw her point at me laughingly and her friend laughed too. I found out later she thought she was paying me a compliment saying to her friend “Oh, he’s so pretty – pretty as a girl.” It made me really angry and I dropped her but only months later I started on hormones for the first time.

That was an alarming experience. It made me really nauseous and I thought I was going to die. It was shortly before the arrival of the internet and support wasn’t easy to find. Consequently my first experience on estrogen didn’t last long. Later on I took it on and off and by the time I was 28 my breasts started to bud. It was a kind of a pleasant but strange experience. They became really tender and once I knocked them against a door and I still remember how much they hurt.

I was determined at that point i my life that I was going to transition but something happened that prevented it. I ended up with a another girlfriend who became my wife and still is.

We had three children over four years but by my mid thirties the gender problem was back with me with a vengeance. I started back on hormones and confided in my wife who loved me enough to stay with me. I hid what I was doing from my little children and put what I was going to tell them into the too hard basket until they got older. At that time my wife told me that my mother had told her about me being mistaken for a girl when I was born.

That brought back a stinging memory from when I was 15 and my my mother and I had been having a big fight. My mother never swore but on this occasion she slapped my face and called me a little slut. I remember thing what a weird thing it was to call a boy.

After 12 months of self administered estradiol injections I had pretty well developed breasts and I went to see an edocrinologist.. I was asked to remove my clothes and she said “my goddness, your entire body habitus is female, even your legs.” She didn’t think estradiol could have wreaked such a body on its own so she sent me for a pelvic ultrasound and a karyotyping test. The test showed normal XY chromsomes.

The ultrasound found no ovaries or uterus but did discover scar tissue behind my bladder which could only have post operative. I certainly couldn’t remember any such operation so I assumed it must have happened after birth. I had been taken to the Royal Children’s hospital when I was a few hours old and stayed there for three weeks. My parents always told me it was because I was a blue baby – that I had been found blue in the cot and nearly died. I’d always assumed this story must have been true but the ultrasound result made me suspect otherwise. The endo suspected a uterus or a blind vaginal canal had been removed but no truth ever emerged. My mother, by this time an elderly lady, 40 years older than me, denied any knowledge of any operation.

At the same time as I was seeing the endo I was seeing a plastic surgeon about facial feminisation surgery. He was of the opinion that I looked feminine enough but I was determined. We developed a good rapport and he liaised with the endo. He decided he would operate on Medicare because of the possibility, remote as it was, that I was intersexed. He was convinced, and so was my endo, by my appearence, my well rehearsed, cultured feminine voice which is nothing like my normal voice and my lack of a visible Adam’s apple.

He was going to reduce my brows, femininise my nose and my jaw and change me hairline slightly. I was lookking forward to it but then something happened.

My wife who had stuck with me all through my “transition” had been worried what would have after my complete transition when I was fully a woman. She didn’t know what sex was going to be like and she was trying to find out if she would be able to use a dildo. She was quite upset.

I sat down with her and we talked. Finally I got her to admit she preferred me as a man even though she still loved the feminine me she called her “Cait.” I decided there and then to cancel the operation, get off the hormones and never take them again. I went out in the car for a while, parked in the forest and cried my eyes out for two hours.

Over the next couple of days I got rid of everything I owned that had been part of my transition. All the clothes, shoes and make-up. My plastic surgeon wasn’t amused about having an afternoon off when he was supposed to be operating on me but he forgave me. I wasn’t brave enough to ask him about a mastectomy so I asked me endo to refer me to another surgeon. She refused saying she didn’t think a mastectomy would be right but she agreed to prescribe testosterone seeing I was no longer on the estradiol and that it and the cyproterone I had been on had killed my own testo production.

That is now four years ago. I still don’t know if I am transsexual or intersexed but I have found contentment and discovered the joy in love. I am pleased I gave up myself for the love of my wife and family because they are my real life. I live for them before me and I have been richly rewarded for it.

I know that although one can never eliminate gender dysphoria it can be controlled to the extent that one can live a happy and fulfilled life without transitioning. My Catholic faith has taught me that there is beauty and comfort in self sacrifice and great rewards.

I am concerned now that children are being exploited by transgender activists who are perhaps no more than autogynephilic perverts. I hope you can make a difference and I wish you all the best of luck in your important work.

That is an incredible story. The incredible complexity of all the different ways people are. Yep, you could’ve been intersex and they did the surgery and just to hid it even from the parents. They did that. I wonder if the complexity, and variability of real individuals lives is what the trans cult of is referring to as “fluidity”. As if variation from one individual to the next means we should pretend that individuals themselves vary over time.

Are you still willing to accept comments from someone who is happily post-op, that doesn’t have a bar fo the current TG madness?

My own experience leads me to accept that for at least some people, sex-change surgery resolves physical identity issues. I think the current conflation of physical gender and gender roles is dangerous, though, and lots of people who should be happily cross-dressing are going down dangerous roads. And i couldn’t give a hoot about brain sex theories.

I do not have a personal story to share, but I do have one that is in direct relation to your blog. I couldn’t find an e-mail to contact you personally, so I will share it here.

Obamacare has recently mandated that insurance companies and doctors will be forced to perform gender operations on patients, no matter how old or young they are, or else they will face penalties and fines.