23 Comments:

>> So women, if you want sex from a guy, don't be all torn up with knots inside as to whether he likes you or not. If you ask him, 9 times out of 10 he will say yes. And it doesn't matter if he's married, engaged, or dating someone else either.<<

So women, if you want sex from a guy, don't be all torn up with knots inside as to whether he likes you or not. If you ask him, 9 times out of 10 he will say yes. And it doesn't matter if he's married, engaged, or dating someone else either.

If this is true, then please kill me now.

I'd say it's usually true under certain circumstances, namely:

1. The man is not married, engaged, or seriously dating another woman. 2. He's known the woman for at least a minimal amount of time. If a woman approaches a man out of the blue and offers sex he'll think she's a hooker or seriously unbalanced.

No, it isn't. It's the sort of thing said by an emotionally underdeveloped boy trying to bluff-justify how badly he behaves toward women because `that just how guys are'. That's no more true of guys in general than say the `golddigger' stereotype is true of women in general. Both exist, but aren't all that common.

Your causation is backwards, Megan. There is a reason her commenters read her blog and your commenters read your blog.

lil miss dubin: I think 9 times out of 10 is a gross exaggeration. (Frankly, you could test whether it is by asking, getting a response, and then changing your mind. Make sure you do this with a couple of large man lurking around you in case you get in trouble though.)

"No, it isn't. It's the sort of thing said by an emotionally underdeveloped boy trying to bluff-justify how badly he behaves toward women"

That rings true. The short quote could be from that guy you describe or from a cynical women who has been hurt; or it could be a cynical guy whose girlfriend has cheated on him. In any case, it isn't true.

Nor would any female wish it to be.

One other thing struck me though -- it says "don't be all torn up in knots as to whether he likes you ... " but it is only about whether men want to have sex. The two are not the same -- at least in the minds of women.

If all the men commenting on JMPP's and HalfSigma's and Mangan's blog and everywhere else want so badly and exclusively to get laid, preferably by the most objectively beautiful women possible, at any affordable financial cost and with no regard for the woman's personality and any interactive complexities, why are they wasting time talking about it?

i am trying to imagine this recurring argument that thirdmanfromtheleft has with women in his life. Are we to presume that he'll sleep with anyone who asks and doesn't see why his girlfriend is so bothered?

Well, he did say that this all relates to an ongoing argument with his girlfriend.

And then he goes on to say that 9/10 men will have sex with anyone who asks, even if they are in a (theoretically) monogamous relationship. I was sort of skipping the middle, which is presumably the crux of his disagreement, for the sake of skewering him.

He is either saying that he is a rare breed, as someone who won't sleep with anyone who asks, or he is saying that, relationship notwithstanding, he'll sleep with anyone (I'm guessing not just anyone, but that is another issue) who propositions him. Either way, I wouldn't especially want to be his partner.

PS, Just for the record, the Amanda commenting on JMPP's blog is not me.

Would a man would sleep with any woman who asked, even if he was in a relationship? It's a complicated question. To a degree I think women have difficulty truly understanding, men truly like casual sex and find a broad range of women at least somewhat physically attractive. So in a situation where you could be sure your girlfriend wouldn't find out, the temptation would always be there.

The proper comparison for a woman would be: what if a man you were *truly* attracted to asked to sleep with you and you could be *sure* your boyfriend wouldn't find out? I think a lot of women would have a fling under those circumstances. Men are sort of always in the presence of women they are *truly* attracted to.

In my experience, the temptation to do this is much greater (like a hundred times greater!) when you are young and inexperienced and haven't had that sexual curiousity sort of slaked yet. The older and calmer you are, the more likely you are to think that it's not worth it to take even a small chance of screwing up a good thing (so to speak) for one night of sexual adventure elsewhere. That's probably true of women too...young girls are more impulsive as well.

But those kinds of blanket statements by males on the web are usually just expressions of generalized sexual frustration by guys who believe that women don't have to suffer the same kind of enforced celibacy they do. But of course most women do have their own form of enforced celibacy -- a sort of (biological?) pickiness that prevents them from enjoying sex from anything like the same percentage of the opposite sex that men can enjoy it with. They gotta, you know, really like the guy first, or it's just not worth it. An attitude I'm understanding more and more as I get older.

Having delivered myself of the requisite set of wild overgeneralizations, I'll sit back and get flamed now.