'No bawling aloud at the Nursery End' sign removed at Lords

Allegations that the Islamabad Three received their instructions through an array of subtle visual messages and coded comments during matches were made today by over zealous ex-CIA 2nd Eleven 1st change bolwer Chas 'Burger' Thompson. The security paranoid left arm spinner had been working solo undercover as a 'drunk in the crowd' throughout the entire 2011 India/England series. Dressed in an 8ft tall male duck costume, known affectionately as the 'fake drake', Thompson monitored an elaborate array of microphones and discreet cameras placed stragegically around pavillion toilets plus the latest moisture, heat and odour detectors inconspicuously fitted in individual players protective boxes.
"There was a bad smell from the off, and they were sweatier than normal...I knew something was wrong" commented Thompson. Claiming he also heard many suspect exchanges from the toilets, Thompson also drew attention to a number of signs containing what were, in his opinion, subliminal messages from scam's ringleaders to the players involved. In addition to the sign mentioned at the head of this article he cited two 'wide load' two 'diversion' and one 'out' signs as irrefutable evidence of widespread corruption in the game.
Presenting his findings to the MCC ethics committee, who had already refused an earlier request from Thompson to call for NATO air strikes at Trent Bridge, panel members kept him talking until a secure hospital could be found, willing to take him.