13 October 2013

I Grow, I Learn

Dear, friend..

In this chance, I want to share you my “finally I’m using hijab” experience.. Well, it happened almost 2,5 years back then. I was in 11st grade of Senior High School on that time. Trust me, Allah will always show the right path to those who looking for it, anytime, cause you know that right? Allah never sleep :)

To be honest.. first time I thought about it because of someone i knew. I won’t to be naive, saying that It was Lillahitaa’la since the very first time, because I knew, it wasn’t. but hey, what the matters? Maybe, this is the way how Allah wanted to show the right path for me…

And i believe, yes it was.

Alhamdulillah, I’m so thankful that Allah has sent me inspirator, so i started to think how to be someone better.. And finally do these every little thing simply because of Allah SWT.. aamiin.

I still remember.. it was Ramadhan two years ago..

So, My school has a tradition to wear a Muslim’s clothes on school days in Ramadhan month. Because of that, everyday I use veil for school. As time goes by, around two weeks, I used to it. I’m feeling somehow more comfortable, safe, peace, when I’m using veil. I could feel how..I’m one step want to be closer with my Creator.. Plus, I surrounded with great people around. My friends. Dinar, Zizi, they some that also inspire me the most. Start from that time, I’m thinking about to use veil in my daily life.

Then, the school’s days off for Ramadhan was coming, I talked to my parents about my plan. First, my mom not really agree. I know, maybe you guys gonna think my mom is weird. But I knew exactly why my mother thought like that..

Because, she knew someone, that person, already used veil for 10 years maybe, but then, when that person about seeking for a job, she opened her veil. My mom just simply wouldn’t me happening the same thing with her.

So, we argue for some couple times. And then my father, mediate us. Alhamdulillah Finally we actually agree each other about my plan. My parents also reminding me about some stuffs. Like, “Using veil is not only about covering your hair up..or you body. Using veil means you’ve got a new responsibility with your religion too.. Veil is an Icon for Islam.. You should keep your behavior also.. Have a good manner, says good words, never leave sholat deliberately.. You know that right?”

Mom, dad.. I know that. :)

Taking this decision isn’t about a simple thing. Many things that should be prepared. Most thing is,

How to have a faith with this decision, because i know.. as times goes by, things won’t be the same.. But, hey, then I remember, What’s the big problem here? As long as..I did this because of Allah ta’ala. Insya Allah, i won’t wobbly then.. aamiin :)

If I keep waiting for I’m fully ready for it, i wonder how long times that it gonna take.

So to the dearest who’s still confuse about the same thing that I ever experienced too. Don’t confuse, dear :) You’re already in the right path, just be a little braver to take a decision.. :) It’s not about.. ready or not. But it simply about our duty in Islam,

And remember one more thing.. actually Islam give us thing to do, for our own goodness. :)

If you still thinking that you haven’t good enough to close your aurat, please remember that every little things gonna take a time to be happened. Same with you.. It gonna take a time too for being someone better. Every new day that Allah gives to us is a new chance for us to keep improving ourselves. Slowly as you start to use it. you will also learn another thing. you will directly bring your self to be somehow in better and better path indeed…insya Allah :)

I may sounds to be “someone that knowing all”. But I’m saying those words because I have been through that ways myself. I know how those feeling exactly. I know how extreme the changing and condition. And I’m still not good enough as a muslimah.. I haven’t wear a syar’i clothes in my daily life. Sometimes, i still delay my pray time. I’m still learning Al-Quran, I still can’t read it fluently, my recitation Surah isn’t many.. Sometimes, i still can’t hold my anger. Most time, I still talking in high intonation. Sometimes, i still wear clothes that shows some of my aurat (mostly my hand). And I still..can’t fully secure my heart for having feeling to someone. I still have many flaws as a human.

See?

I’m still learning here, every each times. I tried my best to be better and better. Slowly change my habit, into something better. Changing is not an easy matter to deal with. And I believe that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as I still want to learn to make it right and do the best to not make the same mistakes all the time. because, Perfection is only owned by Allah SWT.,

At least you are brave enough to try.. As long as you force yourself to learn something good.. As long as you dare to make a decision that bring you outta from your comfort zone, hey that’s all thousand times better than if you stop and not willing to try.

Dear…I know,

maybe many of you thought that we’re still young and have plenty times ahead..Because honestly I also thinking that way, most time. But death, who knows exactly when will the time is coming? :(

That’s why, Let’s take one step..either one little step is also okay..into somewhere brighter. And from that every little steps that you take, slowly but sure, eventually, finally it gonna take you millions steps away…away.. closer to the eternal light.. aamiin ya rabbal alamin.

"we grow and we learn, each day, together with people around us. Like 11, we need each other to can stand,visible, and have a meaning," -r :)