You see something on Facebook you want to share and think,
“But if I do, Person A is going to be disappointed in me.”

What do most of us do next? Is our choice impacted by who Person A is? A boss, a friend, a parent.

Is it possible your boss, family member, or close friend will be disappointed in your post?
Yes.

And so sometimes . . . I didn’t post the comment or image. Fear would hold me captive. I’d make up a story of disappointment that I didn’t even know was true – to stop me from sharing the post or making the comment.
I still posted a lot of comments, stories, videos, and/or images – just not the ones I thought could be “too” controversial – even when I may have believed in the message being shared. I feared judgement and/or disappointment.

Have you ever done this? You really liked a post and strongly believed in it. And you didn’t share it?

Then the irony struck me.

In my work with The DATE SAFE Project, I sometimes get brought in specifically to have conversations many people can be uncomfortable engaging in.
And I do not hold back.
Sometimes might an audience member disagree with me? Yes.
And while I engage that person with respect, I do not hold back.
Why?
Because I believe in what I am saying in that moment and in the value of the message we are discussing.

To be authentic means to be our truest voice in every aspect of our lives – to face any fears of judgement and choose to move forward being honest with ourselves. For me, the key has always been to do so with respect.

“With respect” does not mean I will say and/or share in a way that never bothers another person. While I do my best to be aware of the potential consequences of my words (to do no harm), I cannot know how everyone will interpret my words at all times.
For me, “with respect” means doing my best to lead conversations with love and compassion for all.

Whether it be on social media (Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, etc..) or in-person, may each of us speak openly and be true to what we know, feel, and believe in. May we always do our best to share our voice with respect – with love and compassion for all. And to do so freely.

Your voice matters. Honor it!

P.S. Are you thinking, “Mike, what about the people who engage me online and do not do so with respect, love or compassion for all?” Unfollow the person. You have the right to choose who’s newsfeed you look at. Surround yourself with the people you want to surround yourself with.

Do you login and participate in social media (FaceBook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc….) once a day, twice a day, or throughout the day? Usually, I login in a few times a day to post articles, news updates, inspiring quotes, and to check-in. Sometimes, I find myself almost unable to look away from social media. At those moments, have you ever noticed how our minds make “meaning” to our constant online engagement?

My friend, Jessica, shared earlier today how a philosopher said we are social beings and FaceBook provides that “social” connection. That makes sense. After all, I recently finished reading the book The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. Achor explains why our social connections are vital to being happy. Woo Hoo!! Yes, that means FaceBook helps provide a positive medium for staying connected.

If you are like me, you’ll sell yourself that logic when you find yourself “checking in” too much on social media.

That logic leads me to the following question, “How often would you check in with your friends if you were not on FaceBook?” Prior to actively being on social media, wouldn’t we normally talk to our friends after work (via a phone call or an in-person meet up)? Certainly, the connection of a live phone call, SKYPE video chat, and/or in-person conversation is going to be more focused and rich in quality than a “Like” or “Comment” on our social media channels.

Will you join me in the following Social Media Challenge?

Check-In ONCE a Day

SHARE with PURPOSE (as often as your purpose dictates)!

Check-In means you are logging in and reading what OTHERS are sharing and/or doing. For most people, we can quickly see our friends and family updates by checking in once a day. Anything more is “checking back” and can quickly waste your time.

What are a few examples of sharing with PURPOSE?

You took a picture of an inspiring view (beauty, history, people, etc…).

You saw an inspirational quote you want to share.

Remind people to join you at an event that is about to begin (timely purpose).

You are struggling and seeking support.

You finished an interview that could be a resource for others.

You are traveling somewhere and want to meet up with others located there (and/or want recommendations for visiting).

You are seeking “crowd” answers for a project you are working on or an idea you have.

You are excited to inspire others with great news you’ve just received.

You just wrote a great article others could find intriguing and/or helpful.

For every person, “PURPOSE” can be different. What would you add to the above list?

Consider the possibility that the “Purpose” NOT be one of the following TRAPS:

Boredom

Procrastination or Avoidance of doing something else

Checking BACK in to see updates since you LAST checked in during that same day. If someone really needs to get a hold of you before you check in on social media tomorrow, he/she will find a way to contact you (email and/or phone).

You may have noticed that “SHARE with PURPOSE” also says, “as often as your purpose dictates.” Why? People can be great at posting in a purposeful manner throughout the day. Instead of “checking back” multiple times, they go online each time with a purpose that does not fall into the previously listed TRAPS.

Will you join me on this mission to CHECK-IN once a day and SHARE with PURPOSE?

What will we do when we are tempted to login on social media for any other reason? We will DO SOMETHING. Write. Read. Go for a walk. Call someone. Exercise. Meditate. Meet up with someone.