You Haven’t Got a Prayer

“Ms. Sawyer. I hope you didn’t feel cut off from saying anything at the council meeting this evening. We ran a little long.”

“No. No, that was fine. I didn’t want to say anything in public. I—I was too shocked, anyway.”

“Shocked?”

“At your prayer. Your opening prayer.”

“Problem?”

“Well, you prayed to the Devil.”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“You prayed that he would bring hellfire and condemnation to all those who strayed from his evil path. You said that neither babies nor the afflicted nor the helpless would be protected from his ire.”

“Yes—ha ha—that Devil is something, isn’t he?”

“But—but how can you say that? I mean, this is a public, government meeting. Apart from what you believe, I mean, how—how can you say that?”

“Oh, Ms. Sawyer, it was just ceremonial. If you believe in someone or something other than the Devil, don’t worry about it. We’re not infringing on your religion. It’s just that the Council members all believe this way—well, many of them do, anyway—and we thought, hey, why not open the meeting with a little formal prayer? The Supreme Court’s okay with it, and so you should be okay with it as well.”

“But this is blasphemy! The Devil is going to kill babies?”

“Well, Ms. Sawyer, I don’t want to get into a religious discussion with you here, but plenty of gods kill babies. Now, maybe the Devil did it first, but that’s up for debate. In any case, you are certainly free to pray to yourself during the meeting, so I don’t think any harm has been done.”

“No harm has been done?! No harm has been done?! How can I attend council meetings knowing that all of you are devil worshipers?”

“Well, you didn’t know that before tonight, did you. I guess that’s the downside of public religious pronouncements. Oh, well.”

“Oh, well? That’s all you have to say about this? What about the separation of Church—or whatever you call yourselves—and State? What about Christian values? How can God-fearing Christians listen to prayers to the Devil and not be totally outraged?!”

“Ms. Sawyer, I really have to go now, but I appreciate your feedback. I believe that many of the Supreme Court Justices who voted for this are Christians, so you may have to take it up with them.”