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September 21, 2011

What Are We to Make of Parents Who Lie to Their Children?

The creativity and imagination of a child is thrilling to witness. It is great to see how the mind works when unfettered by social convention, something only the most creative among us seem able to carry into adulthood. Nobody has to tell a child to "think outside the box;" that is the only way they know how to think.

And yet, it is difficult to imagine that lying to our children simply because we find it entertaining is ethically sound. And yes, this includes the socially acceptable Santa Claus lies. A child is supposed to be able to trust his or her parent, and we are right to object when a parent violates that trust.

Imagine the contempt we might feel for a parent who not only failed to teach the important lesson that cartoon violence is different from real world violence but actually taught that the two were equivalent. Imagine how we would regard a parent who deliberately taught that the world was a hostile place where one should attack first and show no mercy. Sadly, you don't have to work too hard to imagine these scenarios. We know something far worse is playing out in countless households.

I've heard it said that Santa, the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and others are "gateways" to religious indoctrination. They certainly were in my childhood, but I recognize that this does not mean they have to be for everyone. Still, the thought of atheist parents giving their children the "gift" of make believe makes me uncomfortable.