Well, I finally played a game worth writing a story about. It was a five
player game on Garden of War with medium resources. The players involved
were Shlonglor (playing as PapaSmurf), Myself (playing as Smurfette),
RedBaron, Void, and Spiderman (who we later
discovered was the same person as Zima/Cpl_Will). Shlonglor and I were
teammates as were RedBaron, Void, and Spiderman.

Once the game started, we found out that Void was a C&C player, and had
very little war2 experience. In fact, he would not stop talking about
C&C! Well, as he would soon discover, C&C experience does *not* help
when playing war2!

The game started as any other game on Garden. As everyone knows, you
need to get the grunts, and get them fast. Well, Shlonglor didn't get
them quite fast enough (neither did I, but as it turned out, that
didn't matter). About the time Shlong had two grunts, Spiderman/Zima
attacked his town with five grunts. Needless to say, Shlong was in big
trouble. He cried for help, but I only had two grunts as well. Things
were not looking good. Shlong's town was gone. He escaped with two peons
and one grunt and came up to my town. Unfortunately, he didn't have near
enough resources to build another hall. He was effectively eliminated,
and at this point it turned into a three on one! I was so dead!

At this time I decided to attack RedBaron. I don't remember how many
grunts I had, but it wasn't enough. He had a cannon tower up, and I
didn't do much more than kill a couple of peasants. After I got kicked
out of RedBaron's town, I turned my full attention to Spiderman/Zima.
Spiderman came in and attacked with a lot of grunts. I fought it off
with my grunts, tower, and Shlonglor's only Grunt :) .
Shlonglor then repaired the tower with one of his 2 peons. See that is
why teammates should stick around. They can still help even with only 2
peons and a grunt!
After that,
the first order of business was to get the ogres and flying machines. I
had a little help from Shlonglor here. He repaired my ogre mound and
alchemist with his surviving peons and resources. Once I had nine grunts
and a couple of ogres, I went in on Spiderman/Zima. Surprisingly, there
was not much resistance. I killed off the forces he had in his town and
was left with a couple of ogres and three or four grunts. I
quickly went for his blacksmith, which I was able to destroy. Somewhere
in here I also upgraded to Fortress and started working on bloodlust.
Next, I think I tried for the ogre mound, but this is where RedBaron
came to the rescue. He kicked me out of Spiderman's town with knights.

After being kicked out, I made sure I had bloodlust and mounted another
assault. This time I was victorious, and I was able to take out
Spiderman's town. I guess this crippled him, and he never got another
town. Somewhere during the battle for his town, someone asked what Void
was doing. It looked like Spiderman and RedBaron were not able to defend
Spiderman's town, and they wanted Void to do something. I had left Void
alone for a *long* time, and was a little worried about what he had.

A little while after the question about what Void was doing, he sent a
small army to attack my second mine. My mine was undefended, and he
killed my peons, but I sent in bloodlusted ogres. But Void ran! He took
his pathetic little army, level 1 footman and a few Archers and ran
away.
Again, I left him alone and turned on RedBaron, who I saw as the
bigger threat.

With a lot of work, and a lot of bloodlusted ogres, I attacked RedBaron.
He had cannon towers defending the main entrance, but I don't think he
realized that he had chopped through at the top of his town. I went in
there, where there was *no* resistance. He had a pretty good defense,
but knights are no match for bloodlusted ogres. I was able to take his
town. Still, Void was nowhere to be seen. He didn't attack me at all.

RedBaron started another town while I decided to go in on Void. It turns
out the Void had a pretty good force built up, including mages, but if
you remember, Void was a C&C player. He didn't know how to control his
guys. Actually, he was able to fend off my attack, so I got a death
knight and decayed the peons at his undefended second town. Guess what
happened then... He quit! Hahahaha! The sight of his peasants dying in a
pile by his mine was just too much for him! Heheheh.

This is when I discovered RedBaron's other mine. There really wasn't
much there, and from this point on it was a simple clean-up matter.
I'll give RedBaron this: he sure didn't give up. He fought it out until
the bitter end.

So there you have it. A three on two that turned into a three on one.
When Shlong was killed I would have sworn there was no way I could win.
Who would've ever thought I could pull it off?

---Greg Boyko (Warpmaster)(Warp!)

Shlonglor:

First let me explain the Smurf thing. Warp and I enjoy making up names
and playing people at war2. We make them think we really suck and then
beat them up. But the joke was on me because Zima pulled my own trick on
me. He played as Spiderman making me think he sucked. Beaten at my own
game! So sad. Well we have lots of fun playing as smurfs. We talk in
smurf. We smurf us some ass at war 2. I guess that is totally childish,
but it sure is fun.

To understand what is so cool about this story you have to know who
Zima/Cpl Will is. He is the Leader of the IWL (International War 2
League.) For a month or so, Cpl Will was playing as Zima, leader of the
Twilight Hammer clan. Little did everyone In the IWL
know that Zima=Cpl Will. Zima
was actually the Leader of the IWL. We all know Zima is good, but we
thought Cpl Will probably sucked at War 2. A week or so ago, Tou and
Dragonlord Discovered that Zima was Cpl Will the leader of the IWL.
After that Cpl Will has been forced to hide under made up names. But I
Caught him the first time he did it. Cpl Will went on Kali as
Waterworld. I did a /whois Waterworld and it told me that his Kali
serial number is 1603. As everyone now knows 1603 is Zima's/Cpl Will's number. I
told Zima that He would never catch me off guard. It seems I was
wrong.

Here is what happened before this game. We were all in the #iwl channel
in kchat. Then this guy named spiderman comes on. He was a real Jerk so
I decided to teach him a lesson. I was in Kchat under the name
PapaSmurf. Zima knew it was me Shlonglor, but I did not know it was him.
Before I go on let me say that Zima is a really good War2 player. I beat
him the first time 1 on 1. He
beat me next time 1 on 1. So he is really good at war 2.
Ok on with the story. We started the game. Zima knew who I was and
headed straight for me with 5 grunts. If I knew It was Zima, I would
have played better but I thought It was some newbies we where playing.
So he screwed me over. I probably only got 1 kill at most. So I ran to
Warp's town (Smurfette, haha) with only 2 peons and a grunt. That is all
I had left.
I had a lot of fun exploring the whole map with one of my 2 peons. I
explored the whole map. I almost made it to Red Barron's town but then his
knight spotted me! I ran for it. I cut left, I cut right. I gave the
knight the slip! Well only because he never got to click on my peon and
also probably because he never even saw it. But it was still scary for
me. I checked some of the mines to make sure no one was at them.

So to cut it short Warp beat them all 3 on 1. That is just unheard of.
What is so spectacular is not only was it 3 on 1, but one of the players
was Zima, leader of the IWL and a really good player. So even with 2
allies, Zima could not beat Warp.

We go to kchat and Spiderman(Zima) asks to join my clan. I still did not
know that it was Zima! He got me bad. haha. Well Zima types, hey "smart
ass", did not catch me this time. Well Smart ass is what Zima always
calls me because really I am one, haha. That is when I realized. He had
been playing me the whole time. But then I realized the joke was on him.
He beat me, but He could not beat Warp with 2 allies. He turned out
looking like a bigger idiot then me. I got wasted by one person. He got
taken out by one with 2 allies to help him. hahahhahahahahahahah.

Well we both looked like idiots. I got like 1 kill and was pretty much
eliminated and he could not beat 1 person with 2 teammates. haha.

Man I am so proud of Warp. He pulled out a win for the smurfs.
Even
though I was taken out, I still had one peon left with the game ended so
I won. hahaha.