A look at the world from a sometimes sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, decidedly American male perspective. Lately, this blog has been mostly about gender issues, dating, marriage, divorce, sex, and parenting via analyzing talk radio, advice columns, news stories, religion, and pop culture in general. I often challenge common platitudes, arguments. and subcultural elements perpetuated by fellow Evangelicals, social conservatives. Read at your own risk.

5 comments:

Heard it all before. Will hear it many times more before I die. They don't mean it, they just think saying it makes them look good. Besides, does a guy really want his wife to have sex with him just because some blogger has shamed her into it?

It might be right to consider it a chore, but apparently it is perfectly fine to use intimacy as a reward system, or as a tool of manipulation.

- Painted the house? Here you go...

- Cleaned out the rain gutters? Let me get my clothes off...

- (Post intimacy) By the way, my mother is coming to live with us and she's bringing her stupid, smelly dog.

- You really choked back the bile rising in your throat when my brother got drunk at dinner...Here's a piece of "candy"

I can't speak for other men, but I imagine that there are plenty who would be fine with this arrangement. All it ever did was make me feel like I was a tool for her use.

For the rest of my life, and if I were ever to marry again, I will always suspect her motives behind wanting me to "make love to her". It is indelibly going to mean that she wants something from me, or that she's throwing me a scrap from the table for being a good little slave.

My goal isn't to shame anyone into anything. My goal is to encourage a little selflessness, and a little bit of desire to enjoy sex for themselves..rather than a feminazi approach that it is a bargaining tool (as anon asserted is the case, as he hides in his underwear in his mother's basement with the "anon" button) to get what they want.

Sorry you are married to frigid women. Perhaps if they found some joy in the Lord, and embraced their femininity and God given roles, they'd be a bit happier enjoying sex for themselves, not just their spouse.

Can't speak for anon's lucky future spouse, but for me, when I want to have sex, it's to please him, AND to please me. Then we both send each other sexy IM's the rest of the day..you know, like we actually LIKE having sex...weird, huh?

Andrea, thanks so much for your blog and your comments here and everything you are doing. My wife is great in so many ways and even as my "girlfriend" she is mostly great. Sure, there's a lot of room for improvement (and the same goes for me) but I'm optimistic that we will work on it. I do use my blog to vent about the few things I am not happy about, but overall, I'm happy and I let my wife know what I am happy about.

I have to approve your comment before it appears. I won't reject your comment for disagreement - I actually welcome disagreement. But I will not allow libelous comments (which is my main reason for requiring approval) and please try to avoid profanities. Thanks!

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Warning: I am frank and blunt about my past, my current musings and sins, how the male mind works, and married sexuality - right or wrong.

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