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23 September 2010

Pure Insanity, Las Vegas

I checked my followers on Twitter the other day, and it seems the network is not sending me any more emails when someone new follows me. Lo and behold, my first celebrity:

The first and last time I conversed with Heidi Montag was in Vegas during my sojourn in February. This was post-crazy surgery, pre-kicking Spencer Pratt to the curb. She was under the heavy influence of something (possibly vodka but more likely pharmaceuticals) and he was carrying around a 'spirit stone.'

A friend of a friend who lives in Vegas was able to finagle VIP room access to Pure the night Speidi happened to be 'appearing' at the club. Security cautioned us any patron found to be snapping photos would have their device confiscated. Pratt kept on about spiritual energy and focusing on rocks, Montag could hardly speak through all the plastic. I think a close-up flash off the shine would have blinded us all.

This was the last time they were seen in public together, before her breakdown and their eventual 'break up.' Are they even divorced yet? Perhaps she's stalking me through Twitter now. Heidi totally wants to be up on this shizouka.

If it weren't for the plethora of rare diseases she is certainly carrying, you wouldn't even need to worry about protection because the ratio of human to plastic Heidi is currently operating on has surely rendered it impossible for her to procreate.

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