Monday, November 8, 2010

Toys You Won't See at Sears

I received a subpoena at work last month. Because many of our clients are "involved with" law enforcement, DHS, or other legal entities, this is pretty normal. You sign it, schedule the court date on your calendar, send a copy to the risk manager, and go on with the rest of your day.

But that got me thinking: My First Subpoena! That's a toy Fisher Price will (hopefully) never put on the market.

What about My First Flesh Wound! (Complete with itemized ER bill which charges $15.00 per tablet of ibuprofen, "MRSA and You" pamphlet, and "Gun Safety Means Using Both Hands" bumper sticker.)

Or My First Jailhouse Tattoo! (Comes with a syringe, your choice of three ballpoint pen ink colors, two stencils (skull or swastika) and a voucher for a free hepatitis C test at the local laboratory.)

I shared this idea with my husband. "What about Lego's "My First Meth Lab?" They could include a couple of the SWAT team Lego men, breakaway doors, and interchangeable heads that go from normal to unhealthy to a skull for the meth users!"

HIPPA Warning:

No accurate patient information is contained here. If you think you recognize the description of yourself or a friend or family member in these writings, you're mistaken. And if you believe that our patients and co-workers are actually legendary sportsmen, dead politicians, famous generals, or noteworthy thespians, I've got some swampland to sell you.