Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bullseye

The Red Sox did this new "Road Trip" deal today. 1,000 vouchers given out in each New England state, each good for two tickets during a pre-sale next week. Plus trophies, giant green mascots, and shwag. My first thought was, "how can I get to two of these things?" (That way I can get one voucher for myself, and one for someone else who couldn't make it today--and see both trophies.) Turns out, it was easy.

The RI/NH/ME caravan would be in Warwick, RI, right near me, at 10:00. The CT/MA/VT caravan would be in Waterford, CT, an hour away, at 3:00. Gold.

I got to the Something Mall in Warwick at 9:15. The mall supposedly opens at 10, but as I watched the old people file in and out, I realized the non-store areas inside were open. So I walked in at 9:30, and maybe 100 people were in front of me. So I knew I was gonna get a voucher. Right at 10:00, the line started moving, and someone came by with the vouchers, so you could leave right away if you didn't care about getting your picture taken with the 2007 trophy, which was at the front of the line on a table. So I got my voucher, left the line, and just went up to the front and got some pics of the trophy--I didn't feel the need to be in the pic myself. As I left, I saw that the line was hundreds of people long still. I didn't get any of the giveaway stuff I'd heard about, but I liked that you could just get your V and go.

Drove out to Waterford and got there around 2:15. Once again, I'd say I was 100 people from the front. The Red Sox were late. And this time, they didn't give you your voucher until you got to the front of the line. So there were two really long waits. But in this case, much junk was handed out. I got two stickers and a CT Red Sox Nation sign. Finally, at the front, I figured I'd go ahead and have my pic taken by the dude. They weren't doing it FanFoto style--you only got your pic taken if you brought your own camera. After my pic, I went to the upper level for some more shots of this, the 2004 World Series trophy.

Again, the line went down the whole mall--glad I got to each place early.

So I got to see two trophies in two different states on one day, and I'll have guaranteed tickets to buy. And I learned a secret--there are clearly multiple Wally costumes! He was riding with two caravans simultaneously.

Between places I got this shot of an icy golf course:

It's been so cold around here that all the snow is just solid--the good part of this is that your shoes don't get all wet, so you don't end up with a mess inside your front door. It's like everything is coated in ice. The strip of grass between the highway lanes is ice, making it look even cooler when one side of the highway is higher than the other. Like there's a tilted frozen pond beside you. A frozen hill.

But moving back indoors, check out this amazing game of darts I had yesterday. Kim was there to witness this incredible event. She's got this Simpsons magnetic dartboard, and my goal has always been to hit the Duff can target with all six darts in one round. I had also always thought that if ever got the first five, I'd stop, go to the back of the room, and fire a long one, to make it feel more authentic, like the way Tom Osborne went for two at the end of the Orange Bowl in '84--had he taken the easy extra point, the game would've ended in a tie, but he still would've won the national title. Feeling you should have to win your bowl game to truly be champs, he went for it, and lost the game and the title. But he showed guts. Anyway, last night, I get the first five on the can--first time ever. The Osborne thought is in my mind, but I'm in such a rhythm, my hand won't listen to my brain's instructions. It grabs a dart and fires. Boing! It "humps" another dart, one of the ones right on the bullseye, and bounces straight back a good two feet, landing on the floor. What's the call? It would've been the sixth dart on the can, guaranteed, but it was sitting on the floor. I finally decided, along with Kim, that a re-do of the final dart would be fair. This is where I turned out to be Tom Osborne. I could've left it as it stood, knowing I did throw six darts that each would've landed on the can had each been thrown at a blank board. But I chose to throw the sixth dart again, knowing I could ruin everything.

Amazingly, the re-try of the final dart led to this:What?? With all that activity on the can, that sixth dart slid through other dart-tails and wa pushed upward, where its magnet caught the edge of another tip, slamming its side into the board, leaving it pointing to true north, riding the Duff can. I don't see myself ever throwing six better darts than this.

Please tell me that it's possible to get your picture taken with the trophy but WITHOUT the dreadful Wally (and without mall security dragging me away kicking and screaming "but I'm not a pink hat fan...")

At the second place, Wally was just walking around. That's when I got my pic--just me. At the first place, he seemed to be right up there the whole time. You're getting the same Wally that was up there, so, hopefully he respectfully steps aside for you...

God, your penis is HUGE, anonymous. Wow. It's a happy day when people admire that powerful wang of yours. And you're also that guy whose opinion is actually completely factual everytime, right? It's an honor to meet you, sir.

I love that they do this. It's step one toward allowing real people to get tickets, instead of the scalper sites which drive up the prices for everybody.

But let's say for a second that your opinion really was fact and that this was a "sad day." Would it not be even sadder that another person then goes around to websites and reads about it, then wastes his own time mocking it, while not even having the courage to leave even a fake name? Maybe. But it would definitely be sad to see a team with a 200-something million dollar payroll finish third place. And even sadder for a fan of that team to then pretend to be a fan of a neutral team to try and make it sound like it's coming from a neutral position, as he's afraid to admit how jealous and pissed he is that his little cursed rival is actually winning now and bringing the trophy into what he thought was his team's territory for so long.

The Nashua stop was fun (not counting the 50-mile drive through a snowstorm to get there). I got there really early, and much to my delight was among the people who got their pictures taken in the first 10 minutes, before Wally showed up. Once he got there, he did stand up at the front in everyone's pictures.

The line wasn't long at all, maybe because people were scared away by the snow, but it was no problem getting the vouchers.