Yesterday I received a lovely, actual-handwritten-on-paper note from Minarae, thanking me for an embarrassingly paltry donation I made to her Breast Cancer 3-Day fund. She also enclosed a pink wristband.

Now, for the record, I'm fairly tired of the whole wristband thing. Sure, it was awesome when the LIVESTRONG bracelets first came out, because who doesn't love Lance Armstrong? (America-haters, that's who.) And they're a great idea, really, for people who truly and passionately support a certain cause. But the whole craze took a fairly distasteful turn when the yellow bands became some sort of must-have fashion accessory and everybody was wearing them, even if they'd only given the actual charity a dollar just to get the band, or got one from someone giving them away for free at the office.

And now it's officially gotten out of hand, what with collector's sites selling 400 frillion different bands along with retired Beanie Babies and all these half-wits running around wearing three or four different bracelets that COORDINATE WITH THEIR OUTFITS, and oh my God, those rainbow ones are soooo cute. Who do you have to support to get that one?

When my mom called to tell me about the lump, it barely registered. Between my mom, my sister and I, the doctors have found dozens and dozens of lumps. We all have the fibrocystic breast disease. Which is not so much of a "disease" as is it is a "huge pain in the boobs," because our breasts ALWAYS have cysts and lumps and suspicious activity going on, but in the end, the lumps are ALWAYS benign. ALWAYS, I tell you. I'm only 27 and have already had four breast ultrasounds, one mammogram and three aspirations of suspicious-yet-benign cysts. Lumps are just not a Big Scary Thing around here.

So when she called to say her doctor was ordering a biopsy on yet another lump, we kind of mutual-eye-rolled and sighed because DUH, it's just another cyst that's absorbed some blood so it looks abnormal but everything will be fine in the end and when are you coming down to help me paint the baby's room?

She won't be coming down to paint the baby's room. Instead she'll be having her second surgery in a month to remove more breast tissue because they aren't satisfied with the margins they got the first time around.

And then she'll be starting radiation.

And then she'll be starting a five-year drug regimen to fight the other strain of breast cancer she has, because oh yeah, she's got two different kinds blah blah blah lots of letters and abbreviations and one strain is apparently scary and aggressive and does this mean you won't be able to come down and help me take care of the baby after Jason goes back to work? Because I don't know what I'm doing and want my mommy?

Her prognosis is good. Her oncologist is confident they caught it early enough. Huge props and shout-outs to routine mammograms.

But still. I'm wearing the damn wristband. And writing a bigger check next time.

Because that one-in-eight statistic is suddenly talking about my mother. And my baby's Nana. And we both need her around for a good, long time.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. She will be in our thoughts and please do keep us updated as to how she is doing. They are doing such wonderful things now, the prognosis for breast cancer can be fantastic. Especially since they caught it so early.

All my very best wishes for health for your mom and strength for your family. I'm one of those wrist-band wearers who is a bit disgusted with the whole thing too. Mine is green and says "Reach the Day", meaning that someday we will reach the day when every child diagnosed with cancer can be guaranteed a cure. It makes me ill when I go into my local drugstore and see a giant bin full of bracelets - with really uplifting messages like 'peace' and 'love'. Except that no worthy charity (like CureSearch.org) is reaping the benefits of those sales.

I'm glad your mom's prognosis is good. She'll be in my prayers. My baby boy, at 2.5 years old now, is already a 2 year survivor. Go Nana!!

Amalah's mommy, we love you! You made a perfectly beautiful Amalah that we LOVE so how cool must you be? VERY. COOL. We send you love and prayers and whispered hopes and lots and lots of love and chocolate dreams.

I once found a lump in my neck. And I had NO MEDICAL. And it was scary. It was nothing. Then I found another, also nothing. I can't imagine the stress of a cancer diagnosis, but I send my heartfelt love to all the fam. Be blessed and well.

Delurking to offer a special prayer for you and your Mom. That said, I agree about the whole writband getting out of hand thing. However, if you check out my blog, my daughter suffers from Epilepsy, and in lieu of a "rubber wristband", a jewelery artist created a very special Epilepsy Awareness Bracelet for my daughter (she also has a very cute breast cancer bracelet as well), that I wear everyday to remind me that I am strong, and will survive this. I hope your pink bracelet does the same for you!

My little family will have all of you in our prayers. (You too Jules!!) There's power in all the voices and thoughts united in prayer and in good vibes. Believe it. I'm convinced it is what made all the difference with our little miracle man--who defied all negative doctor predictions and is doing fantastic. Hang in there. And thanks for reminding me it's time for another check for Susan G. Komen.

Hugs to you and your mom. I have had to deal with my grandmother having melanoma and hubbys mom having breast cancer too. The pink ribons, bracelets and everything else has gotten LOTS of our money. The thing that I have noticed is that one in eight seems to be a little off. I dont know one person that doesnt have a family memeber that hasnt had a brush with breast cancer.

My God, Amy. I am so sorry to hear that! And now I have one more person to add to the list of reasons why I will keep doing this walk every year until my feet fall off. My mom and I share the fibrocystic breast joy but have been blessed to have all of our scares just be that...scares. Tell your mom there's at least one person walking in her honor this October....I'm so glad to hear that they at least caught it early enough for her doctors to be optimistic.

I usually lurk too, but this entry broke me of that habit. I am so sorry to hear about your mom, but thankful for the early detection. I work on a children's oncology unit, and every day I am amazed at the strength and determination that these families possess. Your family seems just as strong! Your mom is blessed to have such loving and caring people in her life. Praying for a swift recovery for your mom!

Amy, I can't really know what you, your Mum and your sister have gone through already with all these scares, and I certainly can't claim first-hand experience with a family member. The only woman in my family ever to get breast cancer is my aunt, and thank God she is surviving it, and has since seen her first two grandchildren. I am thinking about your Mum, and about you, and about your whole family, and I hope she get's better real soon, and is there with you and Squishy for many more decades.

Amalah,
Many prayers and positive vibes for your mom. Fortunately, we live in a time when early detection does mean early cure. My mom is a 10+ year survivor of breast cancer. She has 3 other sisters who've had breast cancer, two who've beaten it so far.
Please take care. I am sure your Mamalah would much rather be with baby Squishy than where she needs to be... (HUGS)

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. You and your family are in my thoughts, though. And I agree about the wristband thing! I wore mine before it got "popular" and actually took it off when it became "cool" because I'm like that. Although my pastor had a purple one that said "Jesus is my homey" which totally cracked me up. (I'm not good with all the serious stuff, but do know I'm pulling for you guys!)

I'm really sorry, and will keep you, your Mom and the rest of your family in my thoughts. My Mom had melanoma about six years ago and it was the scariest thing ever (even though people think skin cancer isn't serious, it can be and it was for my Mom).

Lurker here, praying for your mom. My grandmother had breast cancer and my mom had cancer of the soft tissue twice - when I was 11 and 13. She lost her hair, had radiation, had chemo. That was how we spent our summer vacation two years. It was the scariest thing, but she's now been in remission for 18 years.

My dad told us when Ma got cancer that nobody can fully gel as a human until they've had at least two SEEs (Significant Emotional Experiences). You can't truly empathize unless you've been through it. It was his way of trying to make us view life's trials as the initiation process into the human race. It helped me - I hope it helps you.

Amy, you are the second of my friends who lasted between 1/2-1 year at the lovely Christian college in the Midwest (shut it--I have good memories!) to go through this with her mother. Five years later, her mom is healthy. I will be praying for your mom to have the same results. Thinking of you.

My grandmother has the cystic fibroid condition as well. It had gotten so bad that they did a complete mastectomy on her. I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this more-common-than-it-really-should-be situation. Prayers to your mother and your family for a healthy recovery.

Listen, my mom had it too, 25 years ago! And she had exactly what your mom had, and the radiation and the surgery all of it. And she's fine. And my best friend, two years ago, now on Tamoxifen. And she's fine too. And your mom will be fine. She will. She's got a squishy to look forward to!!!

My condolences and wishes for a quick recovery, I know that is so generic but I do mean it. I wanted to put in that buying postage stamps is another way you can support the cause, one of my 'side jobs' is to handwrite about 50-100 thank you note's a month for a company and I make a point to use the Breast Cancer postage stamps, every little bit helps!

Sorry to hear the news, but it is GREAT that they caught it early. My mother-in-law is a survivor and she's been cancer-free for eight years now. She proudly takes part in the Race For the Cure each year and she donates tons to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

Your mom will get through this and she will be stronger for it. But how sucky for you to have to worry about that stuff on top of the Squishy worries!

Oh Jeez. I fear nothing anyone says will make you feel better because This Is Your Mom. But just in case, I've known about 10 women with breast cancer, including my aunt, and from my experiences, the words "We caught it early enough" have always meant: "You will eventually be OK." For real, though, it's not fun and I am so sorry.

But you'll be there for your Mom. And your family will be there for your Mom, including your dad. And she'll get back a hell of a lot of the love and support she's been dishing out all these years.

I just started reading your blog recently and I LOVE your blog. What a shock when I read about your mom. I am sorry that anyone has to go through that. My mom also had breast cancer in August of 2003. She too had scares in the past and when the Dr's finally said it's cancer, she and I were just sort of stunned. She survived that but has since past on from other complications unrelated to cancer. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please update us on her progress and know that you have tons of people across the world thinking of you and your family.

Wow - what the hell do you say to that??? I am so very sorry that this is happening. I'm sure that sounds odd coming from all these people that have never met you, but I'm sure that we'd all agree. Please have faith and trust that she will be fine! I am sending many good thoughts your way and hope that Mommy gets through it all with a minimum of distress.
*hug*

My mother and I have also had problematic boobs all our lives, and my mother was also diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago. But, like with your mother, they caught it early because they were checking her regularly. She had a lumpectomy and radiation and she's been cancer-free since. But I'll never forget how terrifying that situation was.

Hang in there. It's such great news that they found it early. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Prayers to Mamalah. Every year when I do the Races for the Cure (I try to both the MD and the DC every year,) the number of pink-shirted survivors seems to increase. Some say that's because the cancer rate is rising, but I choose to believe that it just means that more women and men are beating it.

I did the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day in 2002. Some of my donors gave me in excess of $100, some gave me $5 or $10. Some people couldn't give me anything except a pat on the back. It all mattered.

I'm also sending prayers to your mom and your entire family. Cancer just hits me really hard -- all 4 of my grandparents had it -- so I'm always sending random donations out there to various ACS things. I hope one of them helps your mom.

I couldn't stop on by and not comment....I am sorry to hear what you - your mother - is going through. I remember you commenting on your father's health before. It is never easy. I am channeling positive thoughts your way.

Delurking to add my good wishes to the rest of the responses. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, and will be thinking good thoughts for her that she will be around for many many years to spend time with you and the squishy.

This post immediately brought to mind for me the post about your dad being hospitalized and you all sitting around trying to reenact his head trauma. If there's a family that can just SCARE cancer away, yours is it. Best wishes for all of you as your mom fights this bastard.

I'm so sorry. Having just been through the whole cancer thing with my MIL, I know that it's scary and it sucks. I wear my Lance Armstrong bracelet every day in her memory. (Don't freak out, she had aggressive lung cancer...TOTALLY different from breast cancer). It sounds like they caught your mom's cancer early which is obviously a good thing. I'm just sorry you all have to deal with this. Sorry isn't even an adequate word for these situations, is it?

well, best wishes to your mom and your whole family, because i know how hard it is to get that phone call.

and i'm with you on the wristband thing being a bit annoying, but i'm still going to wear my ONE campaign one when it gets here (in a MONTH, dammit). and yours is cute and pink, so will make any outfit even prettier. ;)

My mom has had breast cancer twice, ten years apart, and this Spring she was diagnosed once again. It is scary, but with new drugs etc., the chances of curing women are very good. I'll be praying for your mom.

I'm so happy that most everyone who has commented and has had a mother/aunt/grandparent, etc who has been diagnosed with breast cancer has been fortunate enough to have beat it. My mom had it twice and passed away when I was 19 - way before I was seriously thinking about eventually getting married and having a baby :) But that was 12 years ago and I know things have totally changed in the meantime. Prognosis and protocol are so much better now than before.

I'm not one to pray, per se, but I will be sending lots of good thoughts and well wishes to your mom. I'll ask my mom to do so too :)

Long time reader (or lurker), first time commenter. I just wanted to say that, as someone who follows your life via the Web as most of the people who comment, I was very saddened to hear about your mom (because, you know, i feel like i totally know you). I wanted to add my thoughts and prayers and good vibes to the chorus.

I'm praying for your Mom and whole family. I'm a nurse and work in a radiation therapy clinic.
I have met so many amazing and strong women with breast cancer. It's a scary disease(like all cancer)but treatment and cure have come so far.

Sending good thoughts for you, your mom and your family. I loudly second your props and shout-outs to routine mammograms. We Karma women all are fibrocystic too and know the value of finding those kinds of things early.

I'm very sorry.
My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 17 (two years ago). She had the surgeries and radiation and is still on the 5 years course of drugs (which I think all women take after treatment? but maybe your mum has something different...) I'm sure though that she'll get through it and everything will turn out fine and good.

This made my heart ache. My mother was diagnosed in Dec. 2004 and had a bi-lateral mastectomy in Jan. 2005. 4 chemos later, loss of her hair and countless upon countless hours of crying and hugging, she is making a full recovery. Cancer took her breasts and it TRIED to take her hair (we had a shaving party before THAT happened) but it will never, ever, EVER take her beautiful spirit. Tell your mom to stay strong!

You and your mother are in my thoughts. It will be rough going, but it sounds like she'll be back to "Mommying" you in no time..

On another note, coincidentally, last night my husband rode home from work on the El next to a group of college kids, one of whom had an armful of rubber bracelets. His friends were kind of making fun of him, and asking how much he had invested in rubber-based arm accoutrements, but he was quick to reassure them that he "didn't pay for all of them. People gave most of them" to him. Umm. So the point of wearing them is as a fashion statement, then?

Hi, I completely agree with the comment about too many bracelets. It has lost its power. I can relate to the alternate reality you're living right now. Here you are in what should be one of the happiest times of life, but have to deal with this kind of crap. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer the year after I married, and then passed away when I was newly pregnant with my 1st preg. I miscarried that baby, and no one can tell me that it wasn't due to the stress from the illness, emotional upheaval, funeral, probate, etc. It sounds like your mom has a great progosis, enjoy her while you can.

It is tough having a parent sick- especially 2 (as it sound sin your case). My Mom has had cancer, a brain tumor, horrible glacoma and a bone condition and all kinds of problems from the 1st 2 and the last (could she have more wrong with her). It is hard to see our parents suffer and so hard to even think about them not being there. Hang in there! I will keep your Mom in my thoughts. I am pg too and I don't know what I would do without my Mom there- so hugs!

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm an editor at a cancer journal. Please e-mail if you'd like any information -- or any information interpreted. Two friends of mine were recently diagnosed with cancer, and suddenly this Thing I talk about casually every day was way too Real. Prayers and hugs to you and your mom.

i'm so sorry amalah.
my nana and my most favorite person in the world - my aunt - have breast cancer, and now the lady i work for has been diagnosed (yesterday).
i will say prayers for you and your mom and your family.
i hope everything will take a good turn and it will get so much better.