~ Making Meaning, Making Soul

What is mine, what is not mine; or, Discernment 3000.

There is so much going on at this time of the New Moon. There are so many crises needing our attention and our material help. So many issues need to be addressed to stop the ongoing crises that they engender.

Actually, my favorite distraction is reading yet another book (no, not simply a 5 page article, but a 300 page BOOK —- my latest is Work Clean) on organizing oneself, on getting things done efficiently AND effectively. Most of the time I even convince myself that I’m learning something new and important that WILL make me more efficient AND effective in all that I choose to be/do.

I remember as a young woman hearing about a community or societal need, and having the time, energy, and usually even the resources to help. Needless to say, that was before the internet and 24/7 news, and before I understood most of the underlying issues that cause such tragedies. Now, there is so much begging for our attention and help that I don’t even have the time to figure out what I can really do something about and what I am powerless to influence, much less which is the genuine news and which are distractions, “false-flags”, or fake news. Remember, Facebook and many, many, many others spend lots of money figuring out how to grab our eyeballs and focus our attention on their agendas.

Oh, you feel that way, too? Well, I’m not sure I can offer any real help —- though if you need help organizing your daytimer, I sure can offer a lot of advice!

What I do know, though, is that silence and “non-thinking” time is the greatest investment I can make in taking responsibility for my human life and energies — gifts, skills, and limitations, all. It often feels as though I simply don’t have time for that “luxury”, but when I start getting annoyed that Jesus in the Christian gospels took time away from the crowds, or “wasted” a whole night praying when there were so many people to heal, that’s my clue that I’d REALLY better step away from the computer and all my “good things to do that can help”. Time to step away from the frenzy.

Let’s not even ponder the hopefulness and the hubris that I, one person, can even make an appreciable difference for the good.

One of the things I do ponder, though, is why it is so hard to follow my own advice, to do what it is that I really know helps. Why do I still get pulled off center? I’ve known this wisdom for at least 35 years, yet I can still get sucked into frantic action, or at least frantic worry. I deeply resent the time I need to sleep and the time it takes for me to attend to my health issues, the household chores and the cooking, even washing my paintbrushes (when I allow myself the “luxury” of creating art). Objectively speaking, I’m doing pretty well —- I waste very little time, and the things I spend time on ARE really “my” things to do, the best use of my time and energy. But still. . . .

Do you ever get really tired of your own issues?

Well, here, breathe. In a moment of grace remember that reality is what it is: we are limited, we are imperfect, and we are also endearing and beautiful and powerful. So much is out of our control, be it a Type A personality and health challenges, the psychologists hired to figure out how to distract us (the better for corporations to control us), or (twisted) religious teachings that urge us to give, like Jesus, unto death, because if you’re still alive, you haven’t given enough.

Yet, we are also enough. Love: yourself and those within your reach. Love with your actions, and love with your thoughts, prayers, and intentions. And do whatever you need to do to remember this.

I’m going to go color a mandala and write in my journal now. (Andrew calls it my “superconscious life”.) What are YOU going to do, or not do, now?