The Challenge; Manipulation

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua Marine

Over the course of time in my recovered life I have developed tools that have helped me to live a more content and happy life. In the beginning of my recovery journey I was told to fake it till you make it. I was so beaten up that I did not question this method. I simply wanted peace of mind, respect of myself and others and of course respect from others. The tools I utilized to get and stay sober have increased over the years. Naturally I have developed more of them based upon the principles I have learned and implemented as well. The idea of being happy, joyous and free has taken on more and more meaning to me over the years. My idea of happiness and joy has deepened as well.

The tools I utilize to address challenges work well. However, I must be ever vigilant to check my motives. For instance, publicly forgiving an individual which I have done in the past is healing, but when the underlying motive is manipulation it is wrong. The tenth step in action asks me to look at my motives as well as my actions. Yet I want to look at my intentions rather than my motives! They are different. Because I can justify that my intentions are good does not mean that I had the right motive at the time I took the action.

Today I must be forgiving to myself and to others. I must walk in love and allow the results to turn out how they will without my manipulation involved. Pure actions will overcome the negativity. I am not a martyr yet, if I truly want peace, if I truly do not want to repeat the same mistakes over and over again, I must check my ego at the door, leave manipulation behind and take it one step at a time.