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Straight From The Fridge June 2018

7 ways In Which You Can Help Yourself But Won't

Our relationship has become something of a one-way street. I keep heaping my wisdom upon you and you keep insisting upon not buying my books and not signing up for my emails or not liking me on Twitter.

I know you are dense. What I did not know is the extent of your denseativity. How many times have I told you? 6000? 7000? It does not matter, I doubt you could count that high.

Because I am, unlike you, a decent person, I am, once again, bestowing upon you a treasure trove of wisdom that will surely change your life for the better, all you have to do is take advantage of it.

The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow has traveled the planet in a quest to dilute the wisdom teachings of ancient cultures so they are safe enough for common men and women everywhere to purchase and misuse.

His mystic training began at the age of four when he was accidentally left behind in the jungle while on a family vacation. Through a series of unlikely events, he was eventually adopted by the local natives and trained to be a tribal shaman. After many years, Dr. Holmesnow left the familiarity and safety of the jungle to search for his family.

When he did not find them he climbed a mountain and was nearly killed in the process. The local mystic monks from the ancient monastery found him and nursed him back to health. This near-death experience led him to conclude that there was more to life than what he learned from his shaman jungle training. He then began to immerse himself in the ancient mystical practices of the mountain monks. After many years he mastered them and returned to civilization. Forever changed, eternally superior.

Several weeks later he was no longer Hugo Holmesnow, son of incompetent parents. He was and is now The Rev. Dr. Holmesnow, certified life coach and inventor of the “Better Than You Superior Life Coaching System”. This system provides proven methods and techniques that are part of an overall method which contains the strategies that you need to excel, advance, achieve, attain, reach and conquer your dreams, goals, fears, hopes, and desires.

In addition to creating a system of self-improvement, Holmesnow is the author of “What is Wrong With You? An Introduction to What is Wrong With You” and “Conquer Your Dreams: Defeat Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals”. Both are available now at Amazon in paperback and e-book formats.