Who's in Control of Your Life?

Many years ago in ancient China, a childless Emperor knew he was close to dying and had to find a way to ensure that the country’s future was left in good hands. He called all the boys from the area to the palace and set them the same task. Each boy was given a seed, soil and a container and told to return in a year. Ling was one of those boys who lived in a local village and each quarter the boys would meet to compare their plants. Despite his devotion to his seed, Ling’s plant had not grown. He was devastated when he saw the most spectacular plants growing from the other boys’ pots.

The year was coming to an end and Ling was anxious that not only was his pot barren but that the Emperor would be angry with him. The day finally arrived. As the Emperor walked down the line of boys, Ling felt more and more scared. Eventually the Emperor stood in front of him frowning. ‘What’s your name?’ the Emperor enquired.

‘Liiii…nnng,’ he stuttered.

Slowly, the Emperor nodded his head and moved on.

Having reached the end of the line the Emperor shuffled to take the platform facing the line of boys.

‘Ling,’ he boomed, ‘come here!’

‘I asked you all to tend and care for your seed I gave you but I knew they would not grow because all the seeds were dead. Ling is the only person who has shown integrity and the courage to be true despite his fear. We need people who live their lives honestly and persevere against all the odds. By leaving Ling in charge, I know that you will be ruled fairly and wisely.’

This story is not just about how to rule and lead a country but how we can take charge of our own lives. No matter what happens around us we need to remain true to our own integrity. However, the problem with this is actually being very clear with what is our truth. Each one of us, through our values and beliefs, have created our own reality, in other words our own truth. When you understand that, it then becomes in the realms of possibility to create your own truth, a truth that fuels your passion. When you are in flow with your purpose, life becomes easy and opportunities endless. Therefore you can design your own reality; create a bespoke life.

If you have no goal or destination then you end up ambling around allowing others to hijack you for their goals. It makes you feel disempowered and always at the mercy of other’s whims and emotions. You realise you have lost your identity and no longer know what is important. Your goals do not have to be big or ambitious they just have reflect what is essential to you and are aligned with your values moving you forward to a dream which you never thought possible.

There are many barriers as to why people do not set or achieve goals; two of the most powerful are confidence and that you feel you do not deserve to receive. These inhibit action and immobilise people and the longer people stay where they are the harder it becomes to take action.The secret to gaining confidence is to take action. It is better to take action, albeit imperfect action, than do nothing. Nothing comes from nothing. In the coaching world there is no such thing as failure only feedback so what do you have to lose if you do take action. Nobody ever achieved their life’s ambition doing nothing.

Not so long ago, I asked an artist how long it took him to paint a particular picture, he thought for a while before answering, ‘all my life.’ The response made me reflect on my own path and I realised that everything I had done and every decision I had made had lead me to this point.After years of teaching in Primary school, I felt frustrated that what children really needed to learn was not being taught and that the net of Ofsted was closing in and demotivating teachers. Processes were becoming more important than creativity. Children needed to learn skills more appropriate to their futures and this was not happening.​At the same time, I was coming across adults who had little or no confidence and there seemed to be so few places for them to go to make changes. It was then I decided to take action and plan my future so I could leave the classroom and obtain all the skills I needed to support others to make a change, waking them up to what they really want in life, not what they should do.Take charge of your own life by having the courage to make that decision to forge your own path.You must nurture and tend your own spirit as this in turn will help you guide your life to be fair and wise. If we only have one life, make it count and leave behind a legacy that you can be proud of.