Category: Stolen Valor

Please welcome the all-same-old, all-stupid, all-poop-obsessed, racist, bigoted, anti-Semite, misogynist, stolen valor (boy, I hope the PD at KDSN read those posts), hypocritical, pet abandoning, almost was a radio host again until he started insulting potential listeners before he got on the air, lying motherfucker Bill Schmalfeldt back to Twitter as @TrumpThumpCast.

At least for a couple days, anyway.

Have we reached 250 handles yet? Or are we not getting excited again until he nears 300 handles, which should be right around the 4th of July, I think?

I wonder why this blog keeps getting hits from Denison, Iowa? It never used to…perhaps someone is someone stuck there without a job or the means to get back to South Carolina? Someone who just wants to be left alone and live his life, if only he could break this addiction to butthurt?

Come on, you DUMBFUCK, if you think mud can fly in both directions, go ahead and sling away! You haven’t ever been close to throwing in my direction, owing to tour deluded obsession with the vanished Patrick Grady.

When was he last heard from, anyway? I’m sure it’s pinned up on your conspiracy wall.

Tell us, Projection Boy, was it when he traveled to Maryland to fight a peace order while you peed your skirts in fear? Or was it when you curb-rubbed your tires to death and filed a false police report before fleeing into the waiting arms of Woody Woodchipper the Great Inflatable Soulmate?

Tell us please, you Superbad 8 Time LOLSUIT Failure, all about the fire and brimstone you will rain down upon me, whom you can’t even identify.

If you think I’m laughing at you, if you think I’m having FUN…

You’re absolutely goddamn right!

But to be perfectly serious for just a moment: I’m just one Zombie. There are THOUSANDS more people laughing at you. I really wish you were just 1% as smart as you think you are, because if you were, you might stand a chance of finding all the encrypted butthurt the internet can offer you, and then witnessing your impotent rage would be like driving a Ferrari instead of a refurbished Yugo.

As you continue building your lifelong legacy of #EPICFAIL, please at least try to entertain me.

DUMBFUCK regularly posits that I am yanking the levers behind the curtains of every lickspittle commenter, even as he steadfastly maintains that he actually has a real, live fiancee (and not the skanky balloon animal we all know he pretends with instead) and PLANS TO MARRY HER SOMEDAY!!!

Are we up to a hundred “final” warnings yet from the Mendacious Manatee of Myrtle Beach?

Tiresome little twat.

On a related note…for as vociferously as he contests the notion that he does not have PD, in spite of all his self-contradictory statements, I don’t think I’m the only one who has noticed that he hasn’t posted a single mention of the Shrine of the Holy Resting Place of the Ashtray Soulmate, the Blessed Saint Gail of the Clockwork Urn. In point of fact, I don’t think he has ever denied the allegations that he left her behind in the Midwest (and the capricious currents of the Mississippi River) when he went chasing strange down in Dixieland.

Since the beginning of 2017, Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt, poor, poor, pitiful put-upon Porkinson’s patient who only wants to be left alone in peace, has published EIGHT stories in as many months about a reporter he commenced harassing some five years ago. The following links are broken:

Poor, poor, pitiful put-upon prevaricating Porkinson’s pants-pisser Bill Preston-Schmalfeldt has also published the following stories since the beginning of 2017 about an attorney in good standing within his legal community and before the bar who wants nothing to do with the stupid, lying motherfucker currently serving as Editor-at-Large and Chief Dimwit in Command of Breitbart Unmasked. The following links are also broken:

How can this lying, shit-sniffing, turdrolling valor stealing DUMBFUCK make it more obvious that he only wants not to be bothered and picked on by people who respect the people he wants to be left alone to bother and pick on?

People, I’m serious as a large hematoma sustained in a massive vertical aerial impact passing from mattress to armchair (that’s “a bruise from falling out of bed like a klutzy DUMBFUCK,” for those of you who speak normal English) here!

It’s obvious to anyone with three working brain cells what ALWAYS precedes a brief period of peace and quiet for the DUMBFUCK. (HINT – It’s not a LOLSUIT!) Why isn’t he smart enough to figure it out, other than the notion that he’s almost certainly two or more brain cells short of the minimum requirement?

The story you are about to read is true. It is multiply-sourced and independently verified.

A while back, my good zombie pal Morgana posted this:

A reminder that since 2009, Bill Schmalfeldt has been unable to drive because, he says, Parkinson’s had so eroded his muscle control and executive function that he could not tell the accelerator from the brake pedal. He decided that it would be a bad idea for society at large to allow Bill Schmalfeldt behind the wheel of an automobile.

That’s right: this STOLEN VALOR, DUMBFUCK VEXATIOUS LITIGANT (now threatening to file LOLSUIT VIII against Stacy McCain for – trust me on this – Butthurt in the First Degree) demonstrates that confimation bias is confirming…in two tweets… just five days apart.