Do you mind swearing in movies? I heard a pastor ask recently, "how much swearing do you put up with before you switch the movie off?" And in the comments to my column last week about The King's Speech, that was one of the major topics for debate! So I thought I'd try to explain my philosophy--not because I think it's the only right one, but because I do want to show that I've thought this through. I think those who choose to say "absolutely no swearing" are perfectly entitled to that. I just want to walk you through my thought process about it.

The night before the pastor asked this question Keith and I had watched Gran Torino, a Clint Eastwood movie I completely did not want to see. I watched it for the hubby. And it was just plain amazing. And I was contemplating showing it to the kids, despite the swearing (I eventually decided not to because the language is just too much, especially the racist stuff. But I did think about it).

Here's the thing: Language, in and of itself, doesn't bother me that much. It really depends on the context.

I find it jarring when there is no purpose to it, when you're watching a movie and every second word is a swear word, as if the writers couldn't figure out how to do dialogue. That bugs me, and I'll turn off that kind of movie right away.

But sometimes there's a lot of swearing, but it's for a purpose and it makes sense in the movie.

Gran Torino is one of those movies. I don't recommend everyone see it, by any stretch of the imagination, but it follows the life of an older, retired widow who is very raw, dealing with the new immigrants (who he hates) who have moved into his once middle class neighbourhood. They don't take pride in their lawns the way he does. They eat weird food. He despises them.

And then, slowly but surely, he gets to know them. And he sees a different side to the story. They begin to change him, until the final scene which is extremely Christian. In fact, the story is the evolution of his faith, and walking back from cynicism and selfishness to hope, generosity, and love.

Is there swearing? Yep. And some of it is gross. It's racist, it's sexist, and it's jarring. But it's also who he was, and it changes as the movie goes on.

The reason I wanted to show the movie to the girls (and I still may, at least to my older one), is that it is such an interesting portrayal of the problems in many immigrant communities with gangs, the lack of male role models, and the lack of hope. If we were to understand these things, I think we could do more to help. It would move us to empathy, as it moved Clint Eastwood's character. But more importantly, it shows a real-life evolution of someone from a gutter mentality to a selfless mentality, because God touched them.

Recently I also saw the movie The King's Speech, which was just stupendous. It is not often they make a movie that praises duty and honor, and shows someone trying so hard to do his duty--even if he doesn't want to. The story follows King George VI, the current Queen's father, who was not born to be king. His brother was, and as the movie shows, this brother is a selfish womanizer who cares nothing for duty. He abandons the throne to marry a divorced woman, and George (or Bertie as he is called), is thrust on the international stage.

The only problem: he stutters. Horribly. How can he make speeches if he stutters?

The movie follows his own transformation as he accepts his role, makes peace with his past, and decides to set the stage for his own life. With the help of a therapist, he not only learns to speak, he finds his voice.

Why the profanity? He doesn't stutter when he swears, so the therapist has him swear. Other than that, the movie's pretty clean.

Like Gran Torino, the movie presents a biblical world view. Selfishness is looked down upon; selflessness is inspirational. Learning to do one's duty and to sacrifice oneself is presented in a positive light; caring only for yourself is presented in a negative light. Those who love have fuller lives; those who care only for themselves have shallow lives.

I would rather watch a movie with some swearing that presents a biblical worldview that inspires and causes one's heart to sing than a movie that does not present a biblical worldview.

For instance, two weeks ago Keith and I rented the movie Forrest Gump, intending to show it to the kids as part of the history we're doing in school. It covers the 60s-80s so well, we thought it would be fun to watch.

But since it's been so long since we watched it, we thought we'd better screen it first.

I'm glad we did. I decided not to show it to them. When I saw it first, I loved it. This time around it left me empty. Yes, Forrest, in many ways, is a Christ figure. He sacrifices himself over and over for people. But the central idea of that movie is that our lives are random. Good things just happen to Forrest, but there's no reason for it. Yes, there is some notion of God in the movie, since Lieutenant Dan "has it out" with God during the storm. But in general, life is random. It's a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. And you just float through life, making the best of it, like the feather that floats through the beginning and end sequence.

Some say the feather represents grace; I don't think so. I think the movie portrays something far more random. Hedonism is shown to be empty, but an alternative isn't really offered. Forrest ends up fathering a child without intending to, but it's never shown that this was wrong. Jenny lives for herself her whole life, only coming to Forrest when she's dying. I just thought it praised the emptiness of the 60s and 70s too much. I also forgot about how graphic the sex scenes were in it!

It is not whether or not a movie makes you feel good, or whether or not it has no swearing, that makes it a "good" movie for a family (with teens) to see. It is whether or not the movie portrays the world like it really is, and whether or not the movie gives a moral message the Bible would agree with. Is wrong always wrong? Is right always right? Is selfishness rewarded, or not? Is life portrayed as chance, or hopeless, or is there a guiding Hand? At the end of the movie, do you want to act in a more godly way, or are you tempted towards a less godly one? I am convinced that even movies without religious overtones can move you towards more godly decisions.

A movie doesn't have to be openly religious to have a biblical worldview. Schindler's List was a movie with a biblical worldview, though the hero was hardly Christian. The Family Man, with Nicholas Cage, has an incredible biblical worldview, though again, the main characters don't claim any religious adherence. The key is: does the movie portray the world the way it is, and does the movie, at the end, make you feel more like acting in a godly manner? It's not about whether a movie is clean or not, but about whether it moves you towards God or not. To me, too many "fun" movies don't have a biblical worldview, like The Proposal, or 27 Dresses, or many of the fun things we watch because "they're not too bad and there's not much swearing". I think that's worse.

I think we can fall into a trap of ticking off boxes to judge a movie: does it have swearing, or sexual innuendo, or violence? I would rather look at the movie as a whole. Of course, there are some lines I will not cross, but I wouldn't want to dismiss movies out of hand too quickly, because stories can be important vehicles to teach truth. Jesus used stories, and one of the ways in our modern day that stories are best told is through movies. I still prefer books, but some movies are also exceptional, and make you think, and make you feel, and lead you closer to a godly view of the world.

I wouldn't want to deprive my kids of some wonderful stories just because they contain some things--like swearing--that my kids have already heard anyway. I think you need to look at the big picture.

Besides, just because something doesn't have those negative boxes ticked off doesn't mean that it's a good movie. It all depends on where it leaves your heart at the end.

It's often these "not too bad" movies that are worse, because they insidiously tell you that that behaviour (sleeping around, etc.) is harmless. It's not.

I would rather my girls watch a movie that's a little raw but reflects real life and real morals than a movie with a PG rating that doesn't. I didn't show them anything with any suggested sexual content or swearing until they were at least 12, so of course I'm talking about teenagers here. But with swearing, it's not like they haven't heard it. Maybe you've been able to shelter your kids so they don't hear swearing, but ours have heard it since they were babies in their extended family, and so we couldn't shield them even if we wanted to. And they have great relationships with their extended family members anyway. If you were able to shield your kids, perhaps you may think differently, but I wouldn't outlaw all movies just because of swearing. Movies have a way of telling a story so well, and uplifting the soul, and if we automatically declare all movies off limits that have even a little swearing, we may be stealing opportunities from our families to get into some great discussions and to feel very uplifted.

If a movie is inspirational, and would generate great conversation and thought, but has some swearing, I'll let the kids watch it. If it's cute, and has no swearing, but tells the opposite message of what life is supposed to be, I'll say no. Why waste time watching a "cute" movie that doesn't really portray anything real, or life the way it's supposed to be? Much better to have a family night without a movie at all, then.

I think you summed up how I feel about profanity in movies. Is it useless and/or overdone, or is it actually part of the story/character? Les Miserables is one of my favorite movies, and we watched it one night at church (our last movie night) but one of the older men there was very offended by the scene in which Uma Thurman was nude. Another incredible movie that has language, but not excessive language, is the indie movie Ink. The story line was full of parallels to christianity, the spiritual realm, etc. I couldn't stop thinking about who made the movie. Was he a christian who felt it necessary to use profanity in the story, or a man who had no idea that he may have already had understanding about things that some christians don't. My favorite line from the movie: "A man has a weakness, he's flawed. That flaw leads him to guilt, the guilt leads him to shame. The shame he compensates with pride and vanity. And when pride fails, despair takes over, and they all lead to his destruction. It will become his fate. Something's gotta stop the flow."

I haven't see The King's Speech yet, but I am very much looking forward to it because Colin Firth is such a phenomenal actor, tends to do clean movies, and was in my favorite: Pride & Prejudice. Anyways, I tend to agree with you on this subject. I grew up in a house in which swearing was a very rare occurrence. To this day, I notice when there is swearing in a movie, as in, I'm not completely desensitized to it. For me, it does depend on the context as to whether or not it is offensive. I've found that the swearing in movies that offends me is generally accompanied by sex or violence. If it's that type of movie, I'm just not interested.

You seem to rate and judge movies exactly the same way we do. We did choose to watch Gran Torino with our three oldest (16,15,15). We do not take the position that a movie has to overtly Christian in order to be of value in teaching a lesson.

Hmm... in some cases I agree, some obscenities don't ruin a whole movie for me. There is a difference, however, between obscenity and profanity. The F-word is one thing, it's coarse and offensive, but still just an obscenity, and in the context of a true and compelling story may be excusable. But profanity is something else - blaspheming the name of God. (Profane literally means blasphemous.) Even in the "right" context true profanity offends my affection for God, and I won't support it. And nudity - well, the older man in the previous poster's church was justified in being offended by Uma Thurman's nude scene. We all know men are wired for visuals - so why on earth would godly people expose their husbands / brothers / sons to another woman's body? Take Phantom of the Opera for instance; I enjoyed watching the movie with my sister-in-law, but told hubby it wasn't appropriate for him to see because the clothing of the women revealed too much.It's not so much about double standards as it is about understanding how a particular movie / show may affect you or someone you love.

I normally don't like movies with swearing... But if it is a movie that has a moral theme, or transformation or coming of age or oneself sort of speak then I will...

I love biopics... The reality is that when seeing someone's life story you get to see them somewhat in portrayed in their true selves which is exactly how our daily interaction with people are.

I don't mute people I interact with because the swear.. I simply treat them the way I wanted to be treated when I swore like a soldier...

There are some movies and directors that I know off top are going to have extreme profanity in their movies, so I won't see them but then there are those that have certian scenes that catch you off guard,but then there are some movies that I will wince through because they are so powerful. For Colored Girls was one of them... Thandie Newton swore so much in that movie but I could relate to her character because I knew women like her and that is their reality... But I would not show my children certian movies bc of the lauguage.

I think it all depends on a person's intent. If you are a Christian who is entertained by profanity then hey there may be something to think about if you feel you need to, but if you can be in this world and not of it and tune out the profanity for the message then that's fine too, you also could be one that is totally offended and turned off at the first swear word its all between you and God until you bring someone else in the picture. Its all about the meat that offends the brother in my book.

I too am kinda wondering about Mr. Boycott... I too had him in my comment moderator... Anyhoo he gave me a brief laugh poor guy...

Also Terry, I so agree too with you and Shelia. Growing up we didn't have a television and trust me when I say I learned to say the most horrid of curse words and used them quite well I may add... But some actors are a NO right off the bat... I already know that the I know of some people who think its wrong to watch certian movies and I think for me it's two fold. What offends me may not offend you. I'd rather watch swearing in The Kings Speech any day then to watch the message of dark sex and lesbianism in The Black Swan.... My kids actually fell in love with the story of greed and predjudice in Avatar and there was some cussing and half naked blue people in the whole movie but they were instantly talking about the right vs wrongs before the movie even reached the plot so I just think it depends on the person and as stated the content of the movie. Some actors are a NOGO from the start. I already pretty much know that curses will start rolling before the opening credits!

To avoid restating what's been said, I agree with you, Sheila, Terry, and Jamala. And you know, these days, watching movies are few and far between (and rented, no less), so what we do decide to see takes a lot of thought on our part simply because we want to spend our time wisely. A movie night for the husband and I isn't often; we don't want to waste it.

I have to say that t.v., even though it has little cursing, could probably offend me more than a well-chosen movie with some choice words. We don't even watch it anymore, save Sesame Street and the like.

As for Mr. Boycott, I got the same comment. I agree with you, Jamala. Poor guy. :)

Watching a movie is entertainment. If it's your job or required for a course, then that is a different category. But entertainment is always a choice - we are not obligated to do it. I try to remember Philippians 4:8, although I'm sure I have watched things that fall short of that verse.

You made many points Sheila, but you did not back any of them with scripture. I have read/studied the Bible for many years, and have yet to find where it says that allowing filth into our mind helps us in our spiritual walk. You said yourself that you swear in your mind on occasion. That is because you have given that filth access to your mind by watching/listening to it. Psalms 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."Pr 23:7a "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:"

No we cannot control what people in public say around us, but we can control what we allow in our homes. I dare say that if you took a stand on swearing as being unacceptable, and offensive to you and your immediate family, then your other family members would respect you for that and not swear around you. Kinda like people who straighten up their behavior when the preacher comes around.

Proverbs 29:24 "Whoso is partner with a thief hateth his own soul: he heareth cursing, and bewrayeth it not."We might as well participate in the cursing if we do not take a stand against it. Hearing cursing should grieve the Holy Spirit within us. I can not see how a movie can have a "good biblical worldview" and have offensive content that grieves the Spirit.

James 3:10-11 "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?"

I also wonder how a honorable king would even curse. I don't want my kids looking up to someone with that kind of character flaw. If he were truly honorable he would not curse. He could have used "Bless you" as a word to repeat as if he were saying it spontaneously when someone sneezed. This would have removed the "R" rating for this movie and opened it up to be viewed and hailed by so many more people. Because we (Christians) have become complacent and tolerant of movies with such language, we will continue to see/hear even worse in the days to come. By purchasing tickets to these movies we are casting our vote of approval, and by not condemning it we are just as guilty.Proverbs 29:24 "Whoso is partner with a thief hateth his own soul: he heareth cursing, and bewrayeth it not."It is important to me that my children see me stand against wrong on every level. Somebody once said "It is never right to do wrong, in order to right."

P.S. I also think that we as parents should be careful not to watch movies that have wrong things in them. We are sending our kids a message to "Do as I say, not as I do." I know somethings are for adults, such as the movie "Fireproof." My kids (B-9,& G-10)both loved "Flywheel" and "Facing the Giants", but I won't let them see "Fireproof" yet because of the adult/marriage theme. I'm not talking about that, but about filth being filth, and if it is wrong for our children to view, it is just as wrong for us!

I think the point Sheila was trying to make got lost somewhere. I think an example might be in order.

I grew up in a community where there were lots of stressed, immature, single parent women. We were one of two families over a three block radius with a man in the house. I know that it is virtually impossible to tell a "ghetto" story without profanity.

If someone makes a movie about a kid from the streets who grew up in one of these situations, who was rescued by the power of God, you can't tell that story and be true to it without painting an accurate picture of what life is like in a godless, single parent, urban home.

I wonder if the tax collectors and sinners Jesus surrounded Himself with suddnely put on their church persona when he walked into the room?

There is a place for discretion when considering this issue. I certainly believe we should err on the side of caution and eschew gratuitous filth, but some stories do need to be told, as they can be used to expose people to Hope in ways they may never hear it otherwise.

Sure some of these movies are based on true stories, and to be true and honest to the story you all feel that the offensive language/situations are okay. I think we should look to scripture as the example.

The Bible gives us many examples of people being gloriously saved out of the pit of sin, without exposing us to dirty details of it all. Rahab was a harlot, but the details of her relationships were not necessary. The Bible is not descriptive of the actual acts of the woman taken in adultery, but we get the picture. There were people doing perverted things in the temples, but graphic descriptions were not necessary. Peter swore and cursed when he denied Christ, yet scripture does not quote him. The more we are exposed to profanity the more desensitized we become to it. God's Word tells us what to think on.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

One item in this list is not exclusive of the others. If a movie is true, but not lovely then it doesn't meet the criteria.

You make a good point, Kellie. I don't think anyone here was trying to excuse making a habit of watching movies filled with bad language/sex.

In fact, we go out of our way NOT to view movies with sex and profanity. We simply don't have a blanket rule about it on the rare occasions when we feel that message overshadows a few four-letter words.

I agree with your take Sheila. Athough my kids are too young to be watching movies at all, I know the time is coming when we'll be making those kind of decisions. In terms of language, I think back to when my grandfather was alive and living in an assisted care facility. Stroke patients notoriously use bad language that they would normally have never used, and there was an elderly nun who lived there that cursed like a sailor. To take the view that swearing should never be tolerated in any situation would mean that this lovely lady should have no visitors lest they be exposed to her foul language :)

That being said, I don't think nudity is appropriate at all. :). I also love Les Mis (the musical; I have yet to see the movie), but a lot of the scenes/songs in the musical could have been altered to not be so in-your-face. Although I'm careful about what I wear, I wouldn't be considered prudish, and if we were watching a movie at church (or even with friends) that had a nude person, I'd be kind of upset, too, especially if those showing it hadn't mentioned beforehand that it was there. I guess I keep coming back to the fact that, no matter the context, they are still someone else's husband or wife, and therefore shouldn't be exposing themselves in that way (nor should anyone else be seeing it aside from their spouse).

Thanks for the thought-provoking posts, Sheila - they have been fodder for some great discussions in our house!

Renee, you are absolutely correct. I think sometimes we forget that many people educated their children quite well for centuries before the advent of the screen. There are many other ways of 'showing' a Biblical worldview to your children, to include when you walk by the way, lie down, rise up.....Plenty of examples everywhere without intentionally inviting filthy, vile, rotten junk into your home and giving it first place, a throne for an hour or so. Regardless the context, sin is sin, and God says, "Ye that are righteous, hate evil." along with the other scripture that has been mentioned. That is not harsh,unfeeling,unreasonable, or bigoted, it is God's Word, His rules. Remember? He is just and right, and knows what is best for us.

Sheila, I agree with your post. It reminds me of the verse in Titus where Paul talks about being encountered with ideas that conflict with Christianity:

Titus 1:15 15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.

I think it's great when people can extract Christian messages from secular movies. It makes talking about real issues so much more enjoyable and safe—it's not like we're locked up in a tower gripped with fear that sin is going to come "get" us. We have a much more powerful Savior than that! (If that was really true, why would we be so afraid?)

I also respect that you do this as a parent to teenagers. I'm only a college student in my early 20s now, and I would have approved of this kind of parenting. :)

Personally, though, I don't watch any movies or TV. I can't stand them. Mostly, it's because I'm too weak. It's not that I am tempted to curse or cheat on my husband or anything—I'm tempted to become depressed, upset, or angry about the whole world being corrupt, and I'm not good at focusing on those positives. We are surrounded by the world, after all, and it's even inside me and in my marriage...I could learn from you. Thanks for speaking the truth. :)

I wonder how Jesus survived being "surrounded" by so much corruption? Food for thought. (Hint: the answer is love.)

Hi everybody! So sorry I didn't chime in earlier. I've been on vacation with my family, and I scheduled this last week's posts to go up automatically. I should have announced that I was going away, but I've heard horror stories about people having their homes broken into after announcing on Facebook and their blogs that they were away that I was too scared to. So sorry for ignoring you!

A few points to sum up:

You're right I didn't use biblical verses, but it's hard to find something exact because we're talking about a new technology. What you have to look at is theme and intent and spirit of Scripture, and I see Jesus hanging out with prostitutes and sinners. He didn't go to a cave where He wouldn't see anything bad.

In fact, on the cruise we were just on the movie Gladiator was playing. I only watched 15 minutes of it; it's creepy and it gives me nighbmares, just the thought of that kind of evil. But that's the point: the Roman Empire was abominably evil, far worse than we are today in many ways. And yet we tend to think Jesus lived in a pristine society. He didn't. It was cruel, and it was brutal, too.

I would agree that nudity in film is wrong, especially for men to watch. But I have fast forwarded the one scene of nudity in the John Adams biography, for instance (they strip a man before tarring & feathering him) so the girls didn't see. But it wasn't gratuitous and it was an educational movie.

I know that we're talking entertainment, but let's not forget that art can uplift and inspire; it isn't just fluff. Haven't you ever read a novel that haunted you? Or a movie that stuck with you and changed you? Can any of us get Schindler's List out of our minds once we've seen it? So I wouldn't accept the idea that because this is merely entertainment, we shouldn't see any.

We don't have a tV, and only watch TV shows sporadically that we download or rent, and there's very, very few of those that we do watch. But that doesn't mean I think the medium is frivolous or stupid. Great movies can be made, and I think can have a positive impact. We just need to be careful that they do uplift.

Thanks for all your comments! I'll try to catch up on other posts and other comments from this week!

Thank you! This is a valuable article, and it nicely sums up what I've been saying for a while now.

I'm a Christian and I've been reviewing movies for a few years, and some people in my own family have taken issue with my views on this. For me, the coherent message of a picture is more significant than isolated content. The nudity in Schindler's List is the farthest thing from erotic or sexually titillating (if someone disagrees, I think they have more problems than the movie). Likewise, the violence in Saving Private Ryan is an effective storytelling tool, to tell a story well worth hearing.

We just need to be willing to engage a worldview in its entirety, and not define morality wholly in one dimensional terms.

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.