Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Lots of Conversating

So I spend alot of time at Starbucks, even though it is where I work. I love the people I work with and I also like the coffee and its the only place I can to get work done!

I arrive and my sister rolls up blasting N Sync and singing out the window with her friend. They walk in and I tell her she's embarrassing, to listen to that kind of music near my place of biz-ness."You should have heard us before when we had Hillary Duff on!"I was kidding of course, she's not embarrassing. The 3 of us sat outside for about 45, and then they had to go to work. At that moment, my new Italian friend shows up. They get up and I motion him to come sit with me. Leah points to him and mouths, "He's cute!""What Leah, you say he's cute?!" I yell. I love to make her squirm. Shes so young."Next."His name is Fabio. (Like the ugly romance cover model) He's 20 and right off the boat Italy, been here about 4 months. His accent is wonderful, and half the time I am just listening to him talk not really knowing what hes saying. He has to stop and ask me what the right English word is sometimes, but its soooo cute! We talk for a good hour and then he has to go to work. He gave me a kiss on each cheek! Soooo cute!!! ::Swoon::"Next."Shannon comes in and we sit and talk. Then Jason comes in, high as a flippin kite, and the 3 of us spend about an hour together talking.

NOTE: my schoolbooks are sitting inside and I have every intention to work. I've also had 3 caramel macchiatos and so I'm a tid bit jitters on caffeine!

Jason tells us some of the most random jokes ever and they were quite funny, but I'm sure much funnier to him given his current state. They leave and its about 7:00. I figure I'm not going to get any work done, I should just go home."Next."Chicora begs me to wait and smoke a cig with her. I agree. She's leaving in 3 days to go to Ecuador. I am sad. We were just becoming friends. She finishes her cig and having no one left to talk to, I can go home."Next."Brian calls. Not gonna go into that, needless to say I was crying afterwards.

I then took myself over to Border's (the house was overflowing with high school kids due to my sister's Bible Study group) and read this AMAZING book called "Crank." I had done enough talking today. Time to read someone else's words.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Random II

I'm going to open up a MySpace soon, but it seems as if my sister has been using my e-mail address as her own, so I can't do it till she changes it. But I'll let you know when I move!

By the way, I invented my own weirdly healthy dessert. Fat free cool whip, chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles! It tastes like chocolate mousse, but is much much healthier!

And also by the way, my married friends Jen and Micah bought their first new home. The last time I saw it, they were tearing down and rebuilding everything. I went over there today and could not believe the transformation!! It looks beautiful! I told Jen she needs to decorate my house. Miss Suzy Homemaker, that one is.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

You Can Come Over and We Can Play Parcheesee!

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I stuffed myself silly and loved every minute of it!

I had a great week off from school. Definitely reverted back to my old ways of bar hopping and drinking and dancing as often as possible this week!

Wed. night brought me freezing my arse off in front of Black Bear waiting for Megan and Ashley. There was a line to get in, and then the po-po showed up with the fire marshall because the bar was at maximum capacity. I didn't go to high school in Wilton but apparently the entire class of 2001 was all over Norwalk. Megan knew a lot of people, and I even saw a couple girls I knew! But I ask you, why is it so hard to freakin talk to guys in a bar? They're all standing there looking around but no one wants to say hi. Why is this?

Black Bear was too crowded so we went to Match. Sooooo many interesting memories there for me (I quasi-dated a bouncer that used to work there and who would sneak me in when I was 20) Inside I saw a bunch of Brian's friends, and a couple other random people I knew. We ended the night there...well they did anyway... I may or may not have gotten booty-called by Brian and may or may not have gone over to his house for a bit... I can neither confirm nor deny this report ;-)

Thanksgiving was uneventful. My dad's cousin brought my recovering alcoholic parents a huge bottle of Merlot. They gave it away. That night I went to Brian's because we sort of had an emotional talk the night before that left us both in tears (and we were also plastered) and so didn't think it was a good idea to leave things that way. We did talk a little more, but mostly decided to just have fun without having to worry about what "issues" brought us apart. At least for a few more days.

Friday I sat on the couch all day eating leftovers and doing homework. 8:15 Megan picks me up and we pre-game at Outback before going to some bar in Greenwich. It was totally ghetto and not fun at all, so we headed back up to Black Bear. The band that was playing was AMAZING!! I won a visor, and two pairs of shorts courtesy of Miller Genuine Draft. Actually, the DJ threw them into the crowd and I caught them. Megs and I decided how cool it is to have girlfriends like each other. I danced my little ass off, and met some random guy (he's Meg's friend) and we danced and he told me he wanted to take me home... but no sex..."I swear, you can come over and we'll just talk and hang out and play Scrabble and Parcheesee!"To which I said, "Yeah right."I didn't go, obviously. We were going to take these guys that both of us knew back home because they had no ride, but they disappeared. I stopped home to get my car and then went to Brian's for a little bit.

Going to bars was my life the beginning of this year. It was unhealthy for me then, and I know that, so it won't get to that extent anymore. So if anyone wants to go out sometime, let me know!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Blah

Being away from him hurts so much. Sometimes I can't take it, and sometimes I do whatever I can do to drown it out. I am not sure if I want him back because I hate to be alone or if I truly want to be with him. But if we get back together, will we be miserable again? So many questions. He wants to be with me, too, but wants to wait till 11/30 which is the date we set take time apart to re-evaluate. I've tried to replace him, but that never works. It only makes me miss him more.

This month has been so hard. Breaking up with him and fights with my best friends and learning that there are very few people I can trust and really making effort to recover from my issues. My world is just crazy.

All I need is a hug and a group of close friends who I KNOW I can count on.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

My Weekend in a Nutshell

Everytime I hear the expression "in a nutshell" I recall a high school video that was made of our class (all 27 of us) acting like fools, as we tended to do. In it, Andy said:"This is me in a nutshell... HELP! I'm in a nutshell!!"

Friday was work and we were busy so luckily the time flew by soooo fast. Then I went to see Harry Potter with my fairfield ladies (and Jason). The movie rocked my world!! I am such a Harry Potter fanatic. I have been waiting for this movie since like the beginning of the year, or whenever they started advertising. I am not embarrassed to admit I have read the books and they are freakin awesome. I was just informed this evening that the author is not starting the 7th book till January 1. Thats too far away and I can't wait that long!

Saturday was Angie's wedding in the morning. Marion and I pulled in at the exact same time Angie's limo did so we didn't have to sit in the church and wait forever. The ceremony was good, except the priest did the most random sermon and kept mentioning "Chastity" as an important building block of life. Also, he talked a lot about society going down the tubes and the decline of the "family." Everyone had a "what the fuck" expression on their face. Then Angie sang "Ave Maria" and it gave me chills. She looked beautiful and the reception was a lot of fun. I reconnected with Angie's friend Danielle who I know fairly well and it was really good to see her. I love weddings. Next up is Sarah's in January.

Saturday night brought Phil and I to a Trey Anastasio concert at the Oakdale. We missed the opener due to me being late and us getting lost trying to find Route 15 but the security guard said we didn't miss much. Our seats were in the 20th row (well done, Phil) and the show just kicked some serious ass. Both of us were just speechless by the end. I know I danced my little non-existent ass off and so did he and it was the most fun I have had in a long time. We both needed it and were just blown away. I hope I have earned my place as Phil's new concert buddy! Afterwards, we went to McD's and had burgers and then talked in the car for a while. I totally have a crush on him right now because he is a musician and likes the same music as me. Phil is the shit and is a total rock star. Phil also has a band called "The Sun Beam".

I mean, "The Sun Wheel" (hehe :) we are not a loaf of bread!)

After 3.5 hours of non-medicated sleep (which means no sleep and tons of nightmares and crazy dreams. This is why Emily takes medication for sleep) I drove to church. Piano went well this morning, better than I had anticipated. I came home and passed out for a little bit before going to Starbucks. I proceeded to read "A Million Little Pieces" before my new friend straight off the boat from Italy showed up and we talked for like 2-3 hours. Then the Fairfield ladies randomly showed up and I hung out with them for a bit. Then I called Megan and took her down to my favorite bar.

I won't detail the activities that occurred at the bar this evening. Lets just say some of my old Outbackers showed up and we got pleasantly wasted and there were body shots involved. IM me for more info if you're curious :-D

I am currently sitting in bed eating Smartfood popcorn and will sleep soon. I am just way too happy to have no school this week.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Play Us A Song, Piano Woman

Tonight I had choir practice tonight for the Christmas show. I'm singing "Breath of Heaven" and I'm really nervous because its really high. I wish I didn't get nervous singing by myself anymore, I've certainly done it enough. I do it every week in church with the band! I love telling everyone how cool my church is because we have drums, electric guitar, and many wonderful singers and we blow the doors down. Tomorrow night is worship practice, my favorite part of the week because I can relax after a long week and sing and have fun. But this week, I am accompanying on piano again. Not only that, but our leaders Drew and Erika (who usually plays) are going to Boston so me and Micah's dad are the Drew and Erika this week. The songs aren't hard but I hate playing piano in front of people. I get soooooo nervous that my fingers shake. I've been playing piano since I was 9. I wish I had more confidence in my ability. Not that I'm all Beethoven or anything.

On another note (haha, I made a pun) I have been eating chocolate like its going out of style. For those who know me, I tend to stay far far away from junk food and the last couple days I can't get enough of it. This is rather frustrating for me, because I feel like I'm gaining weight every day but at the same time, it feels good to be enjoying chocolate. Not only that but we got tons of new goodies in at Starbucks. Snowflake cookies. Chocolate mint donuts. Cupcakes. Cranberry Bliss bars. All my favorites. When I was small I used to eat till chocolate till I got sick, and then keep going. Ah to be a kid again and not care about you eat!