Royo Girl visited today. Here’s some of what I wrote to her following the visit:

What a pleasant surprise! You made my Christmas.I tried to be less of a loon during this visit, but I must admit, as soon as I saw you, your looks made me melt. I’d forgotten how beautiful you are. Those big eyes. Those full lips. The face full of freckles. And your wit and good nature and whatever it is that is so bloody soothing about you. When we hugged and I enjoyed the scent of your neck I felt so wonderful.I think that my observance of my elevated emotions during your other visits has provided an inoculation against that happening again. I do feel strongly about you but not as insanely as over the summer.

There’s a genuineness, a sincerity to your character that I seemed to pick up signals from today. I think we’ve both learned and matured from the summer experience, and our friendship is on a stronger footing.

I know you still think I crave for certain aspects of my old lifestyle. And maybe part of me does. But an even bigger part of me wants to be happy and healthy and to succeed and to do right by my family and friends. Certain behaviour in my past will not to be repeated. What I want is peace of mind, to not let people down, and to not let myself down.

You are sweet and enjoyable to be around. I shall be thinking about you often.

4 comments:

The thing is, your blog is such a physical testimony to the change in your life...it says everything about who you are, the dignity you give to your mates in writing about them, the way you feel about family and people you love-I can only see future growth in the same direction.

HEY, Its very nice that you are falling in love, everyone should be in love atleast once (maybe twice) in their life. How old is Royo Girl? I hope when you get out you find a woman with a beauty mark opposed to girl with freckles. You are a very special individual determined to do great things in life, you deserve a great WOMAN. Good Luck with your endeavors.

I'm still reading through this and it's years past but I'm going to go out on a limb and observe that Royo seems like an immature girl who wants to be "pined away for". She enjoys playing the part of the unobtainable and is simply playing little girl games with Sean.

If your past was such an issue then why continue visiting? I would never bond with someone so shallow. As I continue to read this I hope Sean figures this out for himself...