tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22686198414125986002017-06-01T03:11:39.503-07:00The Daily ViewMy take on the news...and other assorted stories....Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.comBlogger155125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-81461474576557212012015-09-21T20:16:00.000-07:002015-09-21T20:25:02.139-07:00The Fall Of A Dynasty? Some Writers Have A Flair for the DramaticOkay, I kept this in for two days already and have been silently reading (and fuming) over the apparent lack of real homework done by any of the so-called sportswriters on a national level.&nbsp; Three in particular - Pat Forde of Yahoo Sports, Dan Wolken of USA Today, and&nbsp;Matt Hayes of The Sporting News&nbsp;- are the ones that have really gotten me to question journalism at this point.&nbsp; Is it really about being someone with credibility or do you now need to come up with stories worthy of the Enquirer to make sure people read your articles?&nbsp; Are you guys really educated and capable of thinking a concise and clear thought, or do we all just want to jump on the bandwagon and hope that Alabama truly is headed for the ultimate, timely demise?&nbsp; <br />
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Each of these three "reporters" are writing about Alabama's Dynasty coming to end.&nbsp; It looks like the dynasty is over.&nbsp; They're done.&nbsp; We all saw it coming.&nbsp; Guys, I have to ask - who&nbsp;'anointed' this a dynasty in the first place?&nbsp; It certainly wasn't Nick Saban or anyone in Tuscaloosa.&nbsp; As a matter of fact, though there are some "extreme" fans, most of the Crimson Tide faithful were not eager to accept the moniker of 'dynasty'.&nbsp; While many are hard-core and will defend their team to the bitter end, we know all too well that what is given can also be taken away.&nbsp; Not all of us think there will be a National Championship every year, however (like many programs) we are always hopeful.&nbsp; Still, to say this is a dynasty is a tad presumptuous as the program resides in the SEC West.&nbsp; Things can change overnight, much less season to season.&nbsp; Maybe.....just maybe.....you guys want to be the first to say the incredible run is over so that, should it truly happen, you can say, "See, I told you I was right."&nbsp; Then again, if Alabama happens to ascend back to the top of the pile, you can always give an excuse why you were wrong and it won't look like such a big deal.&nbsp; Funny, but I'm coming to think many of you are frustrated meteorologists - you don't have to be right OR wrong, you just have to state an opinion.&nbsp; If you're right, you're a genius and great at your job.&nbsp; If you're wrong, there are other factors involved that changed the situation.&nbsp; No one ever seems to call you to task for your errors as long as there are readers.&nbsp; Let's examine, though, some of your incredible insights. Shall we?<br />
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Let's start with Matt Hayes of The Sporting News.&nbsp; The article that begins with, <strong>"Here we are, smack in the middle of we're better than you, and suddenly lost in where do we go from here?"</strong>&nbsp; Seriously?&nbsp; I watch the local and national news every day and NOT ONCE have I seen anyone on the Alabama team or staff say they are better than everyone else.&nbsp; As a matter of fact, when members of <strong>THE PRESS</strong> began speaking about Middle Tennessee State and that Alabama was such a favorite, I believe it was Nick Saban that made sure you understood that he and the team were well aware that that opponent had put 700+ yards on their counterparts the previous week and they were being shown respect.&nbsp; Thought it was lip service, did you?&nbsp; Nick always preaches that the most important game is the NEXT game regardless of who it is.&nbsp; Start thinking ahead and you get beat.&nbsp; Then he goes on to talk about the uncertainty and raises the question of which all three of these fine gentlemen want to understand - why can't Alabama recruit a quarterback?&nbsp; Well, guys, they have.&nbsp; You seem to forget, while admitting that AJ McCarron was the starter for three years, that few of the other young men on the bench got a chance to play.&nbsp; Blake Sims came in to clean things up in several games while AJ rested, but the others did not.&nbsp; Ah, Blake Sims - I heard Pat Forde and others call him a 'stop gap' while Bama was trying to work the next QB into the rotation.&nbsp; Did you guys happen to watch ANY football last year?&nbsp; Did you happen to see Blake setting passing records while he was playing the role of 'stop gap' QB?&nbsp; You remember that, right?&nbsp; I've heard the question about the quarterback recruiting ad nauseum and I have to say, ANY program that has a QB that can play for multiple years will be more comfortable as time goes on.&nbsp; Blake Barnett.&nbsp; Remember the name.&nbsp; You want to know why he can't recruit and you use your 'visionary' hindsight in questioning the crop of QB's on the roster, while I will go out on a limb and actually predict something (much like Pat Forde predicting Auburn would run the SEC West this year) like Blake Barnett orchestrating the resurgence of what you call a dynasty.&nbsp; There it is - my prediction.<br />
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Hayes then goes on to say that the first mark in the fall of a champion is how they make excuses.&nbsp; The exact words were, <strong>"There's no greater indicator of a lost dynasty, no more prominent a red flag, than ignoring the obvious: this is not the same Alabama program of years gone by."</strong>&nbsp; Well, welcome to the real world, Mr Hayes.&nbsp; Aren't you the astute one.&nbsp; Problem is, you say that Saban and his players, while noting that they committed five turnovers and that a win cannot be expected when that happens, were making excuses.&nbsp; It wasn't an excuse, it was an explanation.&nbsp; You knew it, they knew it....hell, we ALL knew it.&nbsp; Five turnovers, especially in the areas of the field where they were committed, would give any opponent an advantage.&nbsp; Does that excuse it?&nbsp; In no way, shape, or form.&nbsp; It was not, however, an excuse.&nbsp; While we're at it, you DID happen to see the final score, right?&nbsp; 43-37?&nbsp; Six points?&nbsp; One thing that the Alabama fans&nbsp;were certain of, and perhaps you might have noticed, was that there was no concession in this team.&nbsp; Did Jake Coker throw an interception late?&nbsp; He did.....while taking a brutal hit that caused his release to be ill-timed.&nbsp; An excuse?&nbsp; No.&nbsp; An explanation.&nbsp; I'm sure, though,, that you want to count this as another determining factor in the fall of a dynasty.&nbsp; What you do not acknowledge, though, is that this team never gave up.&nbsp; I've heard more than one person admit that this was, regardless of the outcome, one of the most exciting games played because Bama was never, ever out of it until the final series.&nbsp; If you can honestly say you knew they'd lose any time before that, I say you're not truthful.&nbsp; Until the last drive with four incomplete passes, they were not out of it.&nbsp; Period.<br />
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What amazes me, too, is that on an annual basis we hear about the strength of schedule of most teams and how they, "schedule cupcakes on their way to another championship or the playoffs."&nbsp; I heard (at least three times or more) this year that Alabama's schedule rated as the&nbsp;toughest, though that got little press as the season drew closer.&nbsp; I guess the 'dynasty' teams are supposed to play tougher schedules so we have more parity, right?&nbsp; Ohio State plays one ranked team all year and&nbsp;barely escapes Northern Illinois and no one says a word, yet Alabama plays Ole Miss and loses (again, by less than a touchdown) and the dynasty&nbsp;is over.&nbsp; Stick a fork in them, they're done.&nbsp; Really?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Yes, Michigan State and Ohio State rule the football world right now.&nbsp; The beauty of this is that the season still has nine more weeks (or 75% remaining).&nbsp; What say we wait until we get to the final two or three to see how they stack up.&nbsp; Let's see how you guys feel when a Northern Illinois or Northern Iowa knocks off one of them.&nbsp; Will we then hear how the might Buckeyes have fallen or will you find a way to, once again, show some anti-SEC bias.<br />
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Ironically, I saw Dan Wolken point out the obvious, too - Ole Miss had two things that Alabama doesn't have - a solid field goal kicker and a QB.&nbsp; Thank you, Captain Obvious, for taking a shot at the easiest target - the field goal kicker.&nbsp; Dan, I'm not sure what game you watched or if you thought that was just something you could say and it rang true for every game Bama plays, but Adam Griffith was not the reason Alabama didn't win.&nbsp; You can make the statement that their 'dynasty' is over because they don't have a solid kicker, but that just makes me wonder if you really watched the game or, honestly, have any knowledge whatsoever about football in general.&nbsp; I mean, I'm not a coach but I am an avid student of the game and try to learn as much as I can.&nbsp; I do not profess to knowing, in a detailed manner, about certain specifics of the game, however I can tell you that there were problems the other evening that some of you brilliant writers failed to even think of addressing.&nbsp; What about the offensive line?&nbsp; There were issues there that, had they been rectified, would've allowed both Coker and Bateman more time to make reads and increase their completion percentage.&nbsp; Not one of you said a word.&nbsp; Derrick Henry would've been able to increase his stats had he been able to hit a hole that was, well, actually there.&nbsp; You guys seriously missed that part?&nbsp; Oh, but you wanted to spout off about the defense and that they aren't anywhere near the standard of years gone by.&nbsp; Did you see how many tipped or blocked passes there were?&nbsp; Bama's defense is just fine.&nbsp; I will concede, though, that you did mention the secondary.&nbsp; Again, another easy target, in my opinion.&nbsp; Since the departure of Jeremy Pruitt a few years ago, the secondary, as whole, has not been playing to the same standard.&nbsp; Nick replaced the coach, brought in new talent to replace the NFL departures, and they are young.&nbsp; You guys, however, expect these kids to jump into a new system and play to the highest level of college football immediately.&nbsp; Again, not being a genius about this, I'm going to go out on a limb here - Nick Saban and staff will not 'dumb down' their proven methods to make it easier because, as a solid educator, he wants to teach them to do it right.&nbsp; No shortcuts.&nbsp; That, gentlemen, may take a tad longer than anyone would like, however they will be stronger for it in the end.&nbsp; <br />
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There was one writer, though&nbsp;- Kevin McGuire of NBC Sports - who wrote a piece that was contradictory to what these three wrote and, ironically, mentioned these three people by name.&nbsp; He pointed out, much as I have, that there observations were suspect at best.&nbsp; He asked what I am asking - does this loss mean the mighty Alabama has fallen and things are over in Tuscaloosa?&nbsp; His conclusion, much as mine, is no.&nbsp; Things are not over.&nbsp; Know why?&nbsp; Alabama lost a game.&nbsp; A GAME.&nbsp; They lost a game last year, too.&nbsp; Just for grins &amp; giggles, I went back to the record books for a peek at the Bear's legacy.&nbsp; You will NOT believe what I found.&nbsp; In 1968, after several great years, his team was 8-3.&nbsp; In 1969, it was 6-5 and in 1970, it was 6-5-1.&nbsp; Do you believe it?&nbsp; THE BEAR HAD 6WINS and 5 LOSSES!!!&nbsp; Oh, as an aside, over the next&nbsp;9 years, his worst record (once) was 9-3.&nbsp; Every other year was 11-1 (6 times), 10-2 (once), and 12-0 (once).&nbsp; Bear Bryant having two seasons that were 6-5 sort of blows your mind, right?&nbsp; The point is, no team is going to stay at the pinnacle every season.&nbsp; They just can't.&nbsp; No one but you writers anointed Bama a dynasty, either.&nbsp; Don't blame Saban, the quarterbacks, the kicker, or anything else - they simply lost a game.&nbsp; I know you don't think it's that simple, but they were on the wrong side of the score.&nbsp; To say that a deflected pass off a helmet that accounted for a touchdown means a dynasty has fallen is ludicrous.&nbsp; To&nbsp;not acknowledge the lack of a call on the pass for a touchdown where a lineman was obviously downfield is garbage.&nbsp;&nbsp;To think that the five turnovers&nbsp;accounted for nothing more than an excuse is ridiculous.<br />
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Yes, Alabama lost to Ole Miss.&nbsp; If&nbsp;writing that the mighty have fallen helps get you readers, then so be it.&nbsp; As&nbsp;n observer of this program, though, I have to tell you that the Alabama faithful are neither delusional nor worried.&nbsp; We have, without question, what&nbsp;most consider to be the best coach in the game.&nbsp; It has not passed him by, believe me.&nbsp; His knowledge has no bearing on how many times a ball is turned over to the other team.&nbsp; He and the staff are fine.&nbsp; The players are fine.&nbsp; We stand behind&nbsp;them and support them.&nbsp; After all, they are the Crimson Tide and, while many&nbsp;might think we are simply kidding ourselves, &nbsp;I will tell you that this team will be fine.&nbsp; If they have a down year, so be it.&nbsp; You counted them out last year, too, and they entered the Playoffs ranked #1.&nbsp; Did they lose?&nbsp; Indeed....to the eventual National Champions.&nbsp; You guys have heard the phrase, "Any given Saturday," right?&nbsp; It happens.&nbsp; Just ask Oklahoma State of a few years back.&nbsp; Better yet, ask USC after this week.....or Oregon after their meeting with Ohio State.....or Florida State after......well, you get it.<br />
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I appreciate you guys writing your articles.&nbsp; I truly do.&nbsp; It made me feel as if I might jump into sports journalism at some point because, obviously, all you have to do is guess or state an opinion.&nbsp; Trouble is, you need to let people know it's simply an opinion.&nbsp; You state it as fact, much like Pat Forde did when predicting that Auburn thing.&nbsp; You know, the SEC West Champs this year.&nbsp;&nbsp;LSU is&nbsp;still laughing about that one.&nbsp; Oh, and should anyone see the Coach or players, let them know we are firmly planted where we always are - right behind them in support.&nbsp; ROLL TIDE!<br />
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Until next time..............Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-40698487931751569972015-09-13T15:59:00.000-07:002015-09-13T17:05:24.737-07:00An Open Letter To Alabama Fans and An Apology to Coach Saban and the Crimson Tide<u>To ALL Alabama Crimson Tide Football Fans:</u><br />
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With all due respect, what are you thinking? &nbsp;Before anyone asks, "How dare you," or, "Who the hell are you," let me state that I am an avid, loyal, diehard fan of the Tide myself. &nbsp;As the old joke goes, my daughter and my money go to the University of Alabama. &nbsp;I am a resident of the state and my tax dollars are invested here. &nbsp;I've earned the right to say what I am about to say and, again, I have to ask - What are you thinking??</div>
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I have followed the Crimson Tide since Coach Bryant was pacing the sidelines and I plan to do the same for many years to come. &nbsp;I have been fortunate enough to sit in the stands watching these teams play in person for the past several years and, once Coach Saban got to Tuscaloosa, I was one of the first to be fortunate enough to shake his hand and welcome he and Ms Terry. &nbsp;You remember that, right? &nbsp;We had just endured another sad season under Mike Shula and this once proud program had been slipping since Gene Stalling last won the National Championship in 1992. &nbsp;Then, against all odds and news reports, Mal Moore hopped on a plane and headed to Florida. &nbsp;You remember that, right? &nbsp;How he was so very determined to breathe life back into a program that meant so much to him and to us all. &nbsp;He was, I believe I recall later seeing him say, not coming back without Coach Saban.</div>
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Then came the introduction - Coach Saban and Ms Terry arrived in Tuscaloosa and our collective prayers had been answered. &nbsp;He has been here longer than any other previous stop in his coaching career and yet we still have to listen to the stories and reports that he will be leaving. &nbsp;Another joke I've heard recently - If Nick Saban retires here after another 30 years, someone will still have the nerve to say, "See? &nbsp;I told you he'd leave!" &nbsp;Well, folks, after what I've been seeing, I don't want to hear any complaints or disparaging comments if he does. &nbsp;Why would I say that? &nbsp;Well, after yesterday's game against Middle Tennessee, I can give several reasons.</div>
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First, let me say that we've heard Nick Saban preaching about complacency after the team won three National Championships in four years. &nbsp;A sense of entitlement had seeped into the program and, as I'm fairly certain he does every year, he made sure each new team understood that the current team could not rest on their laurels for they were not THEIR laurels (some of the players perhaps) but the accomplishments of the previous years' team. &nbsp;Each new year brought the challenge of finding an identity of their own and gaining respect week after week for what they have done. &nbsp;Case in point - we don't have Blake Sims roaming the field this year, do we? &nbsp;No, once again the team is forced to find a starting quarterback and many of you forget that it took Blake four years before he was the starter, and AJ McCarron did his understudy work with Greg McElroy. &nbsp;The point being that every new year is a new team so they cannot get complacent. &nbsp;That same sense of entitlement, though, has seeped into the fan base and the expectations, while I agree they should be hopefully high, have led to some rather uncalled-for comments and unkind words. &nbsp;</div>
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Take, for example, the second field goal missed by Adam Griffith yesterday. &nbsp;I'm not sure how many people knew that it had been tipped and an opponent got a hand on the ball after it left his foot, but when it did not go through the uprights we actually heard.....'booing' from the crowd. &nbsp;How dare you? &nbsp;Oh, I know - he gets a scholarship to MAKE these field goals, not miss them, right? &nbsp;Well, let me ask - when was the last time you had 101,821 people watching you at work AND you were perfect? &nbsp;More importantly, how perfect were you when you were in your early 20's? &nbsp;Ah, not so much, huh? I hope to never hear that again from anyone in that stadium. &nbsp;Sadly, I have no control and many of you are still asking who I am to ask this of you. &nbsp;I'm no one. &nbsp;I'm just an 'Everyman' that enjoys the privilege and honor of watching one of, if not THE, most storied programs in all of college football every Saturday in the fall. &nbsp;While we're at it, these players and coaches, as well as opponents, give up much to provide the entertainment you all desire on Saturday afternoons. &nbsp;They sacrifice much to be on that field and they deserve to have people in the stands cheering them on. &nbsp;It is our part of the equation and The Process - they promise to do their part, now we have to do our part. &nbsp;Park your ass in the seat and stay for the entire game - they deserve that and though you might want to beat traffic and the crowds, they never get to leave early. &nbsp;You wanted this and we have it - a championship-quality team every year. &nbsp;Would you rather have a team on the same level as, say, Kentucky or Kansas? &nbsp;They probably get to leave early from the stadium, too, but they're not always treated to the same level of accomplishment that we are. &nbsp;STAY PUT FOR FOUR QUARTERS!</div>
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Many of you begin your sentences and posts on social media with, "I remember when Coach Bryant...." before trailing off into something that is, at best, a 30-year old thought. &nbsp;Bear Bryant is dead and, though his legacy will be enduring, this school and fan base cannot continue to live on what he did over 30 years ago. &nbsp;You...we...begged for someone to save this beloved program and Mal Moore went to Florida and delivered. &nbsp;He brought back a coach that has provided more than enough winning ways to want to keep him forever. &nbsp;For some, though, that's not good enough. &nbsp;Let me ask another question - what other program can boast of the Championships that Alabama has? &nbsp;None. &nbsp;Nor has any program gone on to win the trophy year over year. &nbsp;Let me throw this out to you - Alabama has the best recruiting class in the entire country FIVE years in a row - do you think that happens without Nick Saban? &nbsp;Do you think they continue to win 10+ games each year without him and his staff? &nbsp;Do you think we'd prefer to have a program run the way Nick Saban does or would you want to sell your souls to get someone like Jim Tressel, Brady Hoke, or Rich Rodriguez? &nbsp;Think people....then quiet down. &nbsp;Let me go back to the comments about Bear Bryant - would ANYONE dare have said the things about him that they do today? &nbsp;No. Don't even try to tell me otherwise because I know better. &nbsp;Bear's word was gospel and, by God, Nick Saban's is, too. &nbsp;This is HIS program to run as he pleases and I'm damn glad of that fact. &nbsp;He gets more out of these players than others would and I tend to think many of you forget what a 17-year drought feels like. &nbsp;Let the man do his job and be grateful you have the privilege of seeing a quality, second-to-none program play every week. &nbsp;If you can't do that, the Barn is probably looking for fans. &nbsp;If you're a true Bama fan, you'll understand that.</div>
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<u>To Coach Saban and the Crimson Tide players:</u></div>
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Please forgive us, the fans. &nbsp;We appreciate you, the staff, and the players of this great program more than you know. &nbsp;I realize you understand it's not everyone, however there are many of us that cannot forgive that portion of the fan base that acts in a manner that is not to the high standards to which you have elevated this program. &nbsp;In a time when many asked....almost begged.....for someone that could provide the same high standards of years gone by, you have provided that and we should all be appreciative and grateful. &nbsp;I'm not talking about winning championships, either. &nbsp;You run a clean program that frowns upon breaking the rules. &nbsp;You have a compliance department to ensure the university is not embroiled in scandal, nor does the program face NCAA penalties. &nbsp;You have, in short, restored the Alabama Crimson Tide to the respected program it once was. &nbsp;You help the personal &amp; professional growth of young men that turn out to be both amazing athletes and, most importantly, amazing individuals. &nbsp;Your work here is appreciated and respected and we, as a fan base, are more than grateful. &nbsp;We sincerely hope that you, Ms Terry, and your entire family know that we will always consider you part of the family and fabric of the Tuscaloosa/UA community. &nbsp;We hope, too, that you will understand that, while we appreciate what you've done, we want to show that appreciation for you and your family. &nbsp;We want this to be 'home' until that dreaded day when you decide you no longer want to walk the sidelines.</div>
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As for the players that wear, and have worn, the Alabama football uniform, we'd like to thank you for everything you've given us. &nbsp;The excitement and pride that a fan base feels when we are allowed to share in YOUR accomplishments. &nbsp;You have the honor of being led by one of, if not THE, greatest coaches in the history of the game. &nbsp;Your selfless sacrifice of your time and energy is appreciated and watching you play in Bryant-Denny Stadium is something that many appreciate more than you know. &nbsp;We are your fans and wish you nothing but continued success. &nbsp;I, along with many others, want to apologize for the thoughtless fans that have come to take your success as 'a given' and that harbor an unrealistic sense of entitlement. &nbsp;They have no idea what it is like to don pads and a uniform and suffer in 100-degree heat while preparing for the coming year. &nbsp;Some of us - many, as a matter of fact - appreciate the sacrifice and will watch you for the entire sixty minutes of the game. &nbsp;We wait for this from January until August and I, personally, wouldn't miss a minute of it. &nbsp;We want to continue to encourage you and be witness to your achievements, while enjoying the camaraderie of fellow Crimson Tide fans as we wait for the 'Walk of Champions' on a weekly basis.</div>
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Please accept this as a letter of apology for the behavior of some, as well as a letter of thanks from the majority of us. Be proud, continue to be part of The Process (as we will), and ROLL TIDE!</div>
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Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-49654193825907055522015-07-25T12:25:00.000-07:002015-07-25T12:25:15.740-07:00It's Never Going to Get Better. I Don't Even Think There's An, "Unless," Here.Race. &nbsp;Better yet, race relations. &nbsp;They are not going to get better, folks. &nbsp;Immediately, you're thinking (I know I am), "Gee, what a pessimistic attitude." &nbsp;Maybe...but let me tell you what sparked this post on a day when I swore I had many other things to do. &nbsp;A picture was posted on social media showing a white female police officer in Ocala, FL sitting on a curb sharing a meal with a black homeless man. &nbsp;The picture was taken, not as a publicity stunt but, rather, by a lady at a stop light who happened to notice the random act of kindness. &nbsp;She posted it on the internet and it went viral somewhat quickly. &nbsp;Obviously, the Ocala Police Department was notified, they identified the officer, and commended her for this act - To Serve &amp; Protect. &nbsp;Simple, right? &nbsp;Something that, I think we can all agree (apparently not), was a simple kindness shown to someone down on their luck (for whatever reason).<br />
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In the interest of this story, did you notice that I didn't even hint at the fact that this man might have been a junkie, alcoholic, or criminal? &nbsp;Let's set the record straight for anyone that doesn't know me, too, that might be reading this - I'm white. &nbsp;All I said, and all that was mentioned in the title of the original post, was, <b>"Police Officer Shares Meal With Homeless Man."</b>&nbsp; If you want to read the actual article, it can be found here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/1VFC95E">http://bit.ly/1VFC95E</a>. &nbsp;You'd think this would generate positive reactions, right? &nbsp;One would think that, in light of all the recent events and stories in regard to policemen (and women), a story like this would make people feel better. &nbsp;I did, anyway, and I appear to be extremely naive. &nbsp;For it was after I read the article, then the comments, that I realized that race relations in this country are an absolute joke. &nbsp;Now, before anyone chastises me for generalizing, I will admit that I am. &nbsp;Too often, in light of these stories and prior to my reactions, I find myself prefacing my responses with, "I have black friends," or, "One of my partners with a previous company was black." &nbsp;Why? &nbsp;Why should any of us have to justify that we have friends of a different race to make our comments legitimate? &nbsp;Honestly, if we are truly for civil rights for all, we should never have to make those statements or justifications.<br />
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So the article was posted on Facebook by Kandi Burruss (singer-songwriter and of, "Real Housewives of Atlanta," fame, among other &nbsp;things). &nbsp;I didn't see it originally but it was brought to my attention by the sweetheart in my life that happened to 'join the mess' and make a comment in response to the article. &nbsp;Her comment, listed below, gives a glimpse into her beliefs and speaks volumes.<br />
<span data-reactid=".2g.1:5:1:$comment10153530150469380_10153530670729380:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span>
<b><span data-reactid=".2g.1:5:1:$comment10153530150469380_10153530670729380:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">"The officer didn't do this knowing she was being photographed which shows it was a true RANDOM act of kindness. It hurts my heart to see so many people throwing around race comments rather than appreciating it for what is...one human being showing co</span><span data-reactid=".2g.1:5:1:$comment10153530150469380_10153530670729380:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">mpassion for another. Until we ALL realize we are part of one race...the HUMAN race...and stop labeling each other as white, black, Latino, oriental, Asian, etc we will never move forward. I don't care what color your skin is, your sexual orientation, democrat or republican, if you treat me with respect I will treat you with respect and kindness."</span></b><br />
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And there it is. &nbsp;The HUMAN race. &nbsp;We all bleed the same color. &nbsp;We are all sitting on the same little orb in a big galaxy.....and none of us is getting out of here alive. &nbsp;The comments made after reading the post above, though, are the reason I say we just don't get it.....and probably never will. &nbsp;Yeah, yeah...I'm generalizing again. &nbsp;Let me share some of what I read, though - <b>"Cops did it as a publicity stunt because they are trying to take the attention off their recent actions in Ferguson, Baltimore and (fill in the blank with whatever story you want."</b> &nbsp;Then there was the classic, <b>"She a bitch - shoulda brought him a whole meal,"</b> (one of my favorites, I think, because no one EVER does enough), or better still, <b>"Now is not the time for empathy for &nbsp;cops. I want to see posts and articles about cops being held accountable for their heinous actions against black citizens."</b><br />
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Honestly, I don't know why I am still amazed at some of the reactions. &nbsp;Probably because I was raised in a time when our parents taught us to see past the color of someone's skin. &nbsp;What amazes me the most, I think, is that I don't see the different skin colors until they are pointed out. &nbsp;Do you want to know who continues to make the point of differentiating? &nbsp;Do NOT say it's the whites. &nbsp;Hell, at this point, most of us are too scared to point it out. &nbsp;If anyone dares say the dreaded, "N-Word," we could lose our jobs and things we have worked many years to achieve. &nbsp;Blacks, on the other hand, not only use it freely, but it permeates much of the music from black artists. &nbsp;Watch a white artist put that word &nbsp;in their song lyrics and you'll se a music contract.....and career....gone. &nbsp;Oh, but it's okay because there are certain circumstances when blacks justify it and it is totally acceptable. &nbsp;To that double standard, I call bullshit. &nbsp;Until it stops coming from EVERYONE, things will not get better.<br />
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As I continue to write this, I'm going from feeling hopeless for race relations in our country, to seething. &nbsp;I continue to hear that more needs to be done and the white man is holding the black man down, or simply killing them and getting away with it. &nbsp;There is a pervasive sense of entitlement and, honestly, I'd like to ask from where that emanates. &nbsp;Seriously, why do the blacks in the inner city and the ones making the most noise (think the Baltimore situation shown on CNN) think they are owed something? &nbsp;Slavery? &nbsp;Is that really the core issue? &nbsp;I'm dead serious when I ask the question. &nbsp;I ask it, too, because I look at situations like the minimum wage issue in Seattle, WA recently. &nbsp;I'm sure it wasn't just blacks, however the people there screamed that they felt they were owed a minimum wage of $15.00/hour. &nbsp;Well, they got their wish....and we are already seeing the fallout. &nbsp;Apparently, someone should've stayed in school to take math classes because they now realize, with the increased wages, that they will no longer qualify for welfare. &nbsp;My response is, <b>"That's awesome - it worked! &nbsp;We offered a hand-UP rather than a hand-OUT and they can do better now. &nbsp;Work more hours and finally get themselves off welfare."</b>&nbsp; I'm an idiot. &nbsp;Not only did they not see it that way, the workers are now asking for decreased hours so they can still continue to receive welfare. &nbsp;I think that, in and of itself, speaks volumes. &nbsp;How dare I speak to this? &nbsp;Well, folks, because I am one of the people (as are all my friends and coworkers) that gets out of bed on a daily basis and goes to work so they can receive welfare. &nbsp;I'm qualified to make the statements because I make sure that my taxes are paid so the HAND-UP is given, not the HAND-OUT.<br />
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Our country is more divided than ever, I think, in my lifetime. &nbsp;That lifetime, ironically, includes the 60's and, while many will think that's not possible, I disagree. &nbsp;Whites are not being asked to help, it's being demanded and we are being held hostage. &nbsp;We have 'Race-baiters' like the criminal, Al Sharpton, or the Dr King-wannabe, Jesse Jackson. &nbsp;They are prime examples of why they do NOT want civil rights for all - if it happens, they're out of a job and their voices are useless. &nbsp;I firmly believe Dr King would've happily ridden off into the sunset had 'civil rights for all' been a reality. &nbsp;It was, after all, his dream and with its' fulfillment, he would've believed his mission in life was a success. &nbsp;Much like President Kennedy, I think Dr King, too, believed in the hand-up rather than hand-out. &nbsp;It was a time when people were told to, "Ask not what your country can do for you, rather, ask what you can do for your country." (Close to the right quote - don't sue me) &nbsp;Somehow, we've gotten to a place where we, "Don't bother doing anything for your country, just ask what someone else will do for you." &nbsp;It is, by all accounts, sad and pathetic.<br />
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Here's the thing, people - going full circle to where this post began, we need more random acts of kindness. &nbsp;We need to look at each other while being colorblind. &nbsp;That's ALL of us. &nbsp;If you want a better world, work for it. &nbsp;Do not tell me black lives matter - ALL lives matter. &nbsp;If you want the cops to stop shooting you, stop breaking the law (blacks, whites, hispanics, orientals). &nbsp;Don't charge a cop and go after his gun, then expect he will not use deadly force. &nbsp;You KNOW you'd do the same so stop making this an issue of race. &nbsp;Are there bad cops? &nbsp;Yes. &nbsp;Are there bad 'anything'? &nbsp;Yes. &nbsp;Conversely, there are good cops, whites, blacks, hispanics, orientals - the 'Yin' always has a 'Yang'. &nbsp;To think otherwise is ridiculous. &nbsp;Night and day, summer and winter, good and bad. &nbsp;If you want change, work for it. &nbsp;Do it legally and responsibly.....and I will stand by your side working for that same change. &nbsp;Until then, though, if you ain't part of the solution, you're part of the problem. &nbsp;I hate to think of the world we are leaving for our kids. &nbsp;Seriously, it's time for us to get our acts together. &nbsp;Stop the hate. &nbsp;It's not a difficult message and random acts of kindness are a lot easier to deal with than random killings.<br />
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Peace out......or, until next time..........Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-84266071305308110052015-07-20T18:08:00.000-07:002015-07-20T18:08:40.478-07:00Are We Prepared To Let This Continue? Time To Hit the 'Reset' ButtonI am not even going to go into the recap of the news - we've all heard it and listened in shock and horror. Five of America's finest - 4 Marines and one sailor - killed senselessly in Chattanooga by a Muslim that couldn't deal with drug and alcohol abuse, as well as depression. &nbsp;Five service men lay dead and, as importantly, our President did and said little. &nbsp;This was 'in cold blood', too - these men were not armed. &nbsp;Why we cannot arm our servicemen, even in recruiting centers, is beyond me. &nbsp;We trust them with weapons to protect us and keep us safe, yet they couldn't protect themselves here at home. &nbsp;I have yet to hear a solid reason for why these men were unarmed.<br />
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The bigger issue, in my opinion, is the lack of leadership by OUR leadership. &nbsp;The Commander-In-Chief. &nbsp;He is, after all, the Commander of the Armed Forces. &nbsp;Here's my struggle - a few weeks ago, Dylann Roof, a white man, walked into a church in South Carolina that had a black congregation. &nbsp;He shot and killed nine black people and, as the investigation ensued, he was seen in pictures holding a Confederate flag. &nbsp;That flag became the talking point, ad nauseum, and major focus of the story. &nbsp;It represented racism and was a symbol of hate. &nbsp;Let's remove it from the State House and government buildings. &nbsp;Okay, I'm with you so far. &nbsp;We are, after all, the United States of America and the only flag flying on government facilities and buildings should be that flag. &nbsp;Got it. &nbsp;We didn't let it go, though. &nbsp;To end racism and show our total disdain for the hatred associated with this flag, we not only removed it from said buildings, but we also had retailers refusing to sell it and a television network refuse to air reruns of a program where it was prominently displayed. &nbsp;I refer to this as the 'knee-jerk' reactionary phase. &nbsp;I'm still with you, though, on the flag part. &nbsp;Ridiculous, yes, but we allowed it to happen. &nbsp;We watched as the funeral services were held and President Obama did what he does best - he spoke, in person, before leading the congregation in, "Amazing Grace," along with the choir. &nbsp;The President told us, too, how, as a black man, blacks being killed in an overt show of racism 'hit close to home'. &nbsp;He immediately called for tougher gun laws (yeah, none of us saw THAT coming, huh?), yet said nothing about mental illness. &nbsp;Again, more knee-jerk reaction as we found out that we really don't need tougher gun laws - we need a system that works. &nbsp;Had the appropriate information been entered into the computer, the shooter would have been unable to purchase the gun in the first place and this conversation, along with nine funerals, would not have taken place. &nbsp;This was not on the guns, Mr President - this one fell squarely on the system designed to protect those nine people that died (along with the rest of us).</div>
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Fast forward to last Thursday. &nbsp;Youssuf Abdulazeez, a Kuwaiti-born man, kills four Marines and one sailor and the response from the President was, <b>"My main message right now is obviously the deepest sympathies of the American people to the four Marines that have been killed. &nbsp;It is a heartbreaking circumstance for these individuals to be killed in this fashion."</b> &nbsp;Wait, what? &nbsp;That's it? &nbsp;Mr President, no disrespect, but I heard you say more, with more passion and anger, about the situation in Charleston than about the senseless, avoidable tragedy and deaths of some of America's finest. &nbsp;Will you be flying to Chattanooga and speaking at the funerals while denouncing Muslim terrorists? &nbsp;Let me guess - there's nothing to point to the fact that this was, in fact, terrorism, right? &nbsp;Let me be the first (though I'm sure I'm not really) to point out that armed civilians are now valiantly guarding recruiting centers to protect our unarmed servicemen. &nbsp;That's terrorism. &nbsp;When we have to be concerned that ISIS and other Islamic jihadists may, in fact, kill us here in America, that qualifies as domestic terrorism. &nbsp;Still, Mr President, since we're already on the subject of flags, let me ask - why were flags across our country not ordered to be flown at half-staff? &nbsp;Not the Confederate flags, but the American flag that these young men swore to protect &amp; defend. &nbsp;I realize they swore an oath to protect &amp; defend the Constitution of the United States, but what symbol more openly symbolizes our Constitution and country? &nbsp;I just don't understand and, dare I say it, neither do the rest of the people I've spoken to.</div>
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While the family of this freak has already said he had a mental illness, do you think this time we could maybe, just maybe, start the conversation about mental health rather than guns? &nbsp;From everything I've seen, and I'm just spit-ballin' here, guns really don't kill people, but people with mental health issues are pretty damn good lately at showing what they can do when armed with a gun. &nbsp;Are we going to continue to blame the guns because it's such a 'hot-button' issue, or can we now focus on the real issue - mental health?</div>
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Lastly, Mr President, I need an explanation and some understanding. &nbsp;When, in my lifetime, I watched planes that were hijacked by Islamic radicals fly into our World Trade Center, then see the growth of ISIS, followed by this singular attack on American soil, can you please explain to me why I need to be concerned with offending Muslims? &nbsp;We can claim that whites that have the Confederate flag are racist because one idiot held a flag and believed our country would be better off without blacks, yet Muslims can kill thousands and we are not supposed to generalize and we hold their opinions in higher regard than the country's citizens? &nbsp;I have a problem with that. &nbsp;Big problem. &nbsp;Huge, even. &nbsp;Quite honestly, Mr President, I can tell you things are about to get worse if the country continues to be divided. &nbsp;Here's a thought....and one that many people (ones that I know, anyway) will agree with - if the people of the Islamic faith do not like the way they are being treated here in the US, we are fine with them going home to their country. &nbsp;The same country that beheads Americans and a place that is not safe for us at all - we're fine with their return. &nbsp;Sadly, I do not want to generalize like this but it's difficult to feel otherwise. &nbsp;Again, let me get this straight because I'm a bit shocked and appalled - we allow foreigners to move to our country, then we have to grant them more consideration than our own citizens? &nbsp;That's what you're saying? &nbsp;As a fed-up American, I can only offer this: &nbsp;NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.</div>
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In closing, I'd like to offer a challenge. &nbsp;A challenge that goes, not to the President, but to those that will read this that I know are staunch supporters of the President. &nbsp;There are those that have adamantly supported him in the past few years that, oddly, have been quite silent recently. &nbsp;I challenge anyone in that category to debate me (or anyone else that can keep it civil) about the President's actions over this past week. &nbsp;You've gotten loud, at times, in your defense of him because you think he is doing an amazing job as our Commander-In-Chief so now I offer you the floor - let's debate. &nbsp;Tell me how you justify his actions toward our military men....especially when some of you were in the military. &nbsp;Tell me how you think you'd feel if it were your son or daughter that had been killed, yet our President was more outspoken on the Confederate flag and the notion of its racist past. &nbsp;Tell me how you support his actions, yet he can barely utter more than a few sentences about our Marines, all while offering warm wishes to Muslims celebrating Eid-ul-Fitr. &nbsp;Anyone? &nbsp;Show of hands - anyone? &nbsp;I didn't think so, but I will still be waiting. &nbsp;A peaceful, open-minded, spirited debate. &nbsp;That's all I want. &nbsp;</div>
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Until next time.................</div>
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Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-42514129049008334852015-07-12T18:18:00.000-07:002015-07-12T18:18:07.378-07:00The Day We Lost Our Collective MindsYeah, yeah, I know. &nbsp;Once again, it's been quite some time since I've posted anything. &nbsp;Honestly, the priorities have been directed elsewhere and, as you'll read, I think I was overtaken by some of the same apathy that has gripped our country lately. &nbsp;I'll explain shortly, but first let's get to the particular day that I mentioned in the title of this post. &nbsp;The day we lost our minds was preceded by a very sad, horrible day. &nbsp;By now, you know I mean the church shootings in Charleston, SC. &nbsp;While I think it will always deserve mention, I'm not going to dwell on it. &nbsp;Let's face it, we've all heard the horrid details over and over. &nbsp;To me, the other important part of the story, and the basis for the title above, concerns the days after. &nbsp;Many may disagree with what I am about to say or my reasoning, however I am leaning toward the fact that more will agree than disagree. <br />
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So this began in a church with a lost soul harboring hate in his racist heart. &nbsp;As the investigation began, pictures emerged of this psychotic individual holding, as we now know, a Confederate flag. &nbsp;For all the issues that created, it might as well have been a green flag because, at that point, we were 'off to the races'. &nbsp;This was our nation's starting point for, what I see anyway, as the beginning of the end. &nbsp;Oh, we can argue that there have been different things that could be construed as that same starting point, but the way we have lost our minds after this episode marks it as a more defining moment. &nbsp;Obviously, too, the initial 'knee-jerk' reaction by our leaders, namely our President, was to call for stricter gun laws. &nbsp;He came on television and remarked in a stern voice that he has seen too many of these situations while in office and, as a black man, these are particularly offensive. &nbsp;As we now know, and something that NEEDS to be pointed out, it wasn't that the laws weren't strict enough but, rather, the system failed. &nbsp;Let that sink in for a minute as I did when I first heard it. &nbsp;As the SC Governor did when she first heard it and remarked that, upon getting the news, she wanted to be sick. Yes, here we are in the midst of having to bury nine more Americans (not black, white, pink, purple, African, Italian or otherwise, but Americans) and, as our leaders further their own personal agendas, we find out that the system that is in place is, in fact, strict enough IF there are no 'glitches'. &nbsp;I'm a big fan of analogies, so let's see if I can throw this out where it makes sense to these 'leaders' - a coach can draw up the most effective game plan ever and, if the team doesn't implement the plan, it fails. &nbsp;No, Mr President, we DO NOT need tougher gun laws - they already exist. &nbsp;What we need is a system that does not fail the people of this country that these laws were designed to protect. &nbsp;You can have the best fire prevention system in the world but if the smoke detectors don't work or the batteries are dead, the house is going to be ash. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;In other words....IF THE SYSTEM HAD WORKED AS IT WAS SUPPOSED TO, WE WOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;Your system, Mr President. &nbsp;Maybe that's unfair, but you're in the office and MUST own it. <br />
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What happened next is, again, something of which we are all aware. &nbsp;Once the pictures emerged of this racist piece of trash (I'm being oh, so kind) holding a Confederate flag, the screams were almost immediate. &nbsp;<b>"Take down that flag - it's a symbol of racsim!"</b>&nbsp; Okay, regardless of what you think that flag stands for, I have to agree that it should NOT be on government buildings. &nbsp;I would disagree, though, with the idiocy that has followed. &nbsp;Again, I am being kind when I say idiocy. &nbsp;In Birmingham, AL, there was a call for the removal of a civil war monument in a park because, well, it was a monument to a Confederate general. &nbsp;It's a symbol of racism and, apparently, is hurtful to blacks. &nbsp;Quite honestly, I'm not sure who has the time to be hurt by it (perhaps I am being naive and a monument honoring a general from 150 years is hurtful) because I see most of us, blacks and whites, so caught up in trying to feed our families that civil war monuments are more an afterthought than anything else. &nbsp;Regardless, the proposition passed and the monument will be relocated. &nbsp;I assume that means it will no longer hurt anyone - are we putting it in a closet? &nbsp;It's about two stories high so I'm not certain how that works exactly. &nbsp;In Memphis, TN, there was a proposition and movement to have another general and his wife, as I understand it, to be removed from their graves and relocated somewhere else because they were, well, Confederates and represented racism. &nbsp;Do you see where I'm going with this? &nbsp;Is the title beginning to make more sense now? &nbsp;Many retailers removed anything with a Confederate flag from their shelves and a television network will no longer show reruns of, "The Dukes of Hazzard," because (yeah, this is particularly laughable) their car had a Confederate flag on the roof. &nbsp;Seriously, I cannot be the only one to think we have gone off the really, really deep end, can I? <br />
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Regardless of what you think of that flag, there's one thing that we all NEED to see in the bigger picture - this is causing a greater division than unification of our country. &nbsp;With this issue, it seems we have found the proverbial 'straw that broke the camel's back' as whites and, as a race, are feeling that we continue to be held hostage and responsible for the sins of our forefathers. &nbsp;I can tell you that, going back at least five generations, I know for a fact my family never owned slaves. &nbsp;I have yet to meet anyone, honestly, who can tell me they remember their families owning slaves or, conversely, anyone that was owned as a slave. &nbsp;Some people will say, "Well, does that mean it didn't exist?" &nbsp;No, we know it existed and you, understandably, want me to acknowledge it. &nbsp;I get it. &nbsp;We cannot, however, continue to have things both ways. &nbsp;The Civil War, right or wrong, happened, folks. &nbsp;There is a famous quote about ignoring history and being doomed to repeat it that is on your mind right now - let me help. &nbsp;The actual quote is,<br />
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<b>"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."</b><br />
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Folks, we can pretend it didn't happen but that's all it will be - pretend. &nbsp;It is a matter of fact and a very real part of our history. &nbsp;It's a very ugly, horrid part of our history, but real nonetheless. &nbsp;I grew up less than fifteen miles from Gettysburg, PA and I can honestly say that I want us to remember it because we should, in no way, be condemned to repeat that dark time in our country's history. &nbsp;Sadly, that is where we are headed. &nbsp;Some of you are thinking the same and agree with me. &nbsp;How long can people be expected to simply accept riots in the streets and demands that whites pay, in any shape or form, for the acts of our forefathers. &nbsp;Honestly, we are trying to rectify the situation as quickly as we can, however anything less than peaceful protests or changing things in the manner with which we are all expected to act will only result in that greater divide. &nbsp;If you want change, work for it in the same manner we all must. &nbsp;Do not demand simply because you feel you are owed something. &nbsp;Let's be honest, we tell our children daily - "Life isn't fair and no one owes you anything." &nbsp;The American way, or at least the way people of my generation knew it, was that you get up, you go to work, and you do everything you can to provide for your family and help make this country greater every day. &nbsp;We've gotten to a point where that is no longer our goal. &nbsp;We are, for all intents and purposes, a lost, rudderless ship at sea with no direction.<br />
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Lest I sound like an 'old guy', I want to say that I remember a time, not so long ago, where we stood in solidarity as a people. &nbsp;I'll go back to THAT day - the one moment in time that our generation remembers as our, "I remember exactly where I was," moment. &nbsp;September 11, 2001. &nbsp;Even mentioning that day evokes feelings of loss, sadness, grief, despair, hate.....and lastly, hope. &nbsp;When the planes flew into those towers, the Pentagon, and the field in PA, we felt all those feelings. &nbsp;The hope came soon after. &nbsp;American flags flew from houses in numbers we rarely, if ever, see. &nbsp;We spoke a little more kindly, treated each other with a bit more respect, helped each other, cared for each other and, most importantly, loved each other. &nbsp;We weren't African Americans, White Americans, Spanish Americans or Italian Americans. &nbsp;We were, together, AMERICANS. &nbsp;That was the point in time that, rather than think of the initial emotions, I choose to recall as a time of hope. &nbsp;I felt like, if we could just make it last, there was hope for us to regain our stature in the world and be, once again, a nation that was greater than the sum of its parts. &nbsp;Sadly, here we are today - more divided than I can ever recall, even more so than in the late 60's when Martin Luther King led a march across the bridge in Selma.<br />
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My fellow Americans.....we need a leader. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;I realize this is the point where some, those who support President Obama, may begin to bristle - let me finish before doing so please? &nbsp;You see, these past few weeks and months, you'll almost certainly have to agree, has seen our leadership cause the greater divides of which I've already spoken. &nbsp;True, these are only my thoughts and opinions, but try....TRY...to have an open mind for a minute. &nbsp;Our leader, the President, is supposed to unify and lead while being impartial. &nbsp;His job is to lead ALL Americans, not select people. &nbsp;He spoke out publicly to denounce the situations in Ferguson, MO and Baltimore, MD, then sent a delegation to investigate the death of a black man. &nbsp;He did NOT, however, even make mention of a young white woman gunned down by an illegal immigrant who had been deported five times. &nbsp;One can only assume this was because the situation involved policies that he supports. &nbsp;Again, take responsibility - if it failed, admit it and fix it so that it doesn't happen again. &nbsp;Instead he said......nothing. &nbsp;His silence was louder than anything he could've said. &nbsp;It was, in my opinion, deafening. &nbsp;While we're on the subject of division, let's also talk about one of the other 'big' news stories of the day - gay marriage - and the reaction of the White House and our President. &nbsp;To be clear and so those reading this understand my opinion, I have friends and family that are/were gay. &nbsp;For them, the ruling of the Supreme Court was a great victory and, as it went through the court systems and is now law, I (as an American) will respect that. &nbsp;It's how it is supposed to work. &nbsp;Still, in my opinion, the White House caused a divide in the people of our country by showing they clearly supported it. &nbsp;The multi-colored lights bathed 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue brightly in a show that was, clearly, divisive. &nbsp;In short, it was wrong. &nbsp;The President could've easily applauded the decision without blatantly throwing it in the face of the opposition. &nbsp;He chose to divide rather than unify.<br />
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I want us, as a country, to be proud again. &nbsp;I want us to be viewed all over the world as we once were - a leader and one that others look to for guidance and direction. &nbsp;There was a man that once occupied the office that not only led, but inspired us to a greatness we haven't seen since. &nbsp;Imagine.....there was once a man that said, "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what YOU can do for your country." &nbsp;Rather than set an expectation of the government giving handouts, he found a way to put people to work. &nbsp;He challenged us to give the best in science and math, to better ourselves, and we met that challenge. &nbsp;Imagine.....someone that is going to give us little more than opportunity. &nbsp;How would that be received today? &nbsp;I think we can all agree that it would cause protests like we've never seen. &nbsp;Yet, when this man was killed, the nation wept. &nbsp;Our hope was gone and Camelot, along with JFK, died. &nbsp;The last President that could even somewhat rally us as a country and provide opportunity was Ronald Reagan. &nbsp;Okay, these are simply my opinions, however I venture to guess that many of you, if not all, lived a better life back then. &nbsp;President Obama is not a great leader, he is a great orator. &nbsp;I challenge anyone to show, with actual facts, how the past seven years have been beneficial to us as a whole. &nbsp;That's usually the cue for the, "Well, that's because Bush..." retorts. &nbsp;Ladies &amp; gentlemen that, too, is a cop out and to that, I say, when a corporation has a CEO that fails, they replace him. &nbsp;The replacement does not need to make an issue of the successes or failures of his predecessor. &nbsp;He simply moves the corporation forward. &nbsp;It's time for the Bush-blaming and race-baiting to stop from someone in the office of President. &nbsp;We need real leadership and we need it now. &nbsp;If not, I fear a Civil War is yet again on the horizon. &nbsp;I think we all have heard, at least, how that worked the last time.<br />
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Until next time.............Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-25602470061647480422015-06-23T15:55:00.000-07:002015-06-23T15:55:56.900-07:00Do We Debate Yet Again.....Or Act?The interval between these episodes seems, in my opinion, to becoming shorter and shorter. &nbsp;They're beginning to become an almost-monthly occurrence. &nbsp;Now, nine people are gone, another life ruined (presumably &nbsp;to be ended after a trial, countless appeals, and any number of years on death row), and countless family members and friends of these people have yet another mark on the calendar that will forever haunt their memories. &nbsp;I don't, however, have to go through the horrid details for you. &nbsp;We've seen them on television for the past several days repeatedly. &nbsp;Therein, my friends, lies a huge part of the problem. &nbsp;Let me tell you why some of us, as white people, have a unique perspective on why this has happened.<br />
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As I sat watching yet another story covering this horrific tragedy, a black television host interviewing a black community leader, the question was posed again - "Why do we think this happened?" &nbsp;Well, fellas, let me tell you that you're part of the problem, in my opinion. &nbsp;How so? &nbsp;This kid (okay, adult, but still a kid&nbsp;by my standards) made comments while standing over his victims about his feelings that, "You're raping our women, taking over our country. &nbsp;You have to go." &nbsp;Even after admitting he almost did not commit this act because the people in church were so nice to him, he still felt strongly compelled to take the lives of nine people. &nbsp;To say he did it because of the color of their skin, I think, is oversimplifying the issue. &nbsp;He didn't do it because they were black - he did it because they were black and his perception, based on what he has seen in the media (again, just my opinion), is that blacks are taking over the country and he didn't like it. &nbsp;Oh, I'm sure there is far more to the hate he felt, and fairly certain his past is riddled with troubled situations, but let's be honest - the media has done nothing more than fan the flames of racism. <br />
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Now, we're going to remove the Confederate flag from the state house in South Carolina because that, finally, will eliminate racism. &nbsp;Okay, I know you're going to say, "No, but the flag needs to go because of what it represents." &nbsp;Fair enough. &nbsp;What does it represent? &nbsp;It represents a time in our past when southern states were determined to secede from the Union. &nbsp;They wanted out and, by God, they were going to do it. &nbsp;To them, the flag was no different than the flag the Union used - red, white, and blue with thirteen stars. &nbsp;Just because this is now associated with 'southern rednecks and hillbillies, let's not make it something it isn't.....or wasn't. &nbsp;Yes, I know - I have sufficiently be made aware of the fact that the south wanted to continue the practice of slave ownership. &nbsp;When was the last time anyone owned a slave in the south? &nbsp;If recollection serves, it's been more than 100 years, right? &nbsp;Look, I'm not saying the flag should or should not stay where it is. &nbsp;All I am asking is, in the whole scheme of things, what difference will it make? &nbsp;Are we really saying that this kid killed nine people because of a flag?? <br />
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No, my friends, he did it because he felt a growing hatred that continues to be perpetuated by the media. &nbsp;For days we watched, all of us, the city of Baltimore as it teetered on the brink of anarchy. &nbsp;We watched as fires were set to a local CVS pharmacy and, once the firemen arrived, knives boldly and brazenly taken to the hoses so the fires could not be extinguished. &nbsp;Seriously, I watched one person, a cowardly black man with his face covered, walk up to a fire hose and slit the material twice. &nbsp;I say cowardly because he would not show his face, yet let his own neighborhood burn intentionally. &nbsp;This arrogance and stupidity was shown on national television, live, and was broadcast repeatedly. &nbsp;Would any of you have wanted to walk those streets? &nbsp;My guess is not and, as much as the Charleston killer's acts were hate crimes, the acts in Baltimore and other areas, those of civil disobedience, are something I would consider domestic terrorism. <br />
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Here's my point to the rant above - our compass and direction is so badly skewed that we can no longer focus on what the real issues are. &nbsp;Did it truly escape everyone's attention that a 21-year old kid was filled with such hate that he opened fire in a church on unarmed people? &nbsp;Are we seriously going to blame that on a flag? &nbsp;Are we going to blame it on guns? &nbsp;I own two handguns and have yet to shoot anyone. &nbsp;Want to know why? &nbsp;I respect the law...and life. &nbsp;Unless I, or someone else is threatened with loss of life, it will not be used for that purpose. &nbsp;So this kid had his picture taken with the Confederate flag and hated blacks, huh? &nbsp;Well, certainly removing all the Confederate flags will stop this type of behavior. &nbsp;Wal Mart, Target, eBay and others refusing to sell anything with this flag will go a long way toward....ending these killings? &nbsp;No, it will go a long way toward stopping the sale of the flags. &nbsp;Period. Ah, but that's a great start, right? &nbsp;Yep. &nbsp;A great start to ending freedom of speech and history lessons. &nbsp;Most people accept that flag as representing slavery, eh? &nbsp;Only if you're drunk or stoned or can't read a history book.<br />
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We need to get our collective acts together and focus on making sure we help each other. &nbsp;We need to be 'color blind' and see people as....well, people. &nbsp;Lest anyone think this isn't a 'two way street', though, let's also point out that others have to stop acting barbaric and with a sense of lawlessness. &nbsp;If you want to protest, do it without civil disobedience. &nbsp;Take notes from Dr King, not the rantings of Al Sharpton. &nbsp;Seriously, we all....ALL....have to stop acting like fools and being discriminatory. &nbsp;Let's help each other. &nbsp;Let's be kind to each other. &nbsp;In the end, as simplistic as this approach sounds, we're all we have, gang. Make an effort to care about black, white, green, yellow pink, and purple. Do your best to just be nice.....to everyone. &nbsp;We're making it harder than it has to be and focusing on the wrong things.....and, ultimately, we all made a promise (or should have) - we all promised to, and have the responsibility to, make this world a better place for our kids. &nbsp;Do we want to leave them with the world the way it is? &nbsp;Let's change it now.....with one kind word at a time.<br />
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Until next time.................<br />
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<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-85069410857928595422015-04-27T17:48:00.003-07:002015-04-27T17:48:35.337-07:00What Did You Think Would Happen? Sharpton, Jackson, and EntitlementUnbelievable. I'm sitting here watching the news and Baltimore looks like a scene from a movie....and it's not a good one. &nbsp;So here, finally, is my open letter to Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and anyone else that thinks they are 'leaders' in the black community. &nbsp;This is for all of you that want to disgrace the name of Dr Martin Luther King, Jr and act as if you have the same ideals. What I am seeing is pathetic and disgraceful. If this isn't the End of Days, I don't know what is.<br />
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So, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton - where are you? I would like to think you are standing in your offices or homes, wringing your hands, wondering how to bring this situation under control. I'd like to think you are in contact with the Mayor of Baltimore asking what you can do to help. I'd like to think you want to come to Baltimore and, with bullhorns and the voice of authority and leadership, appeal to the greater senses of the neighborhoods to stop these travesties. I'd like to think all these things, but somehow I cannot escape the image of you both sitting at home, your neckties loose and sleeves rolled up, drinking a nice scotch with some of your cronies with feet propped up as you watch Baltimore burn. I envision you holding the glass and pointing at the television, saying things like, "Damn, look at the arm on that kid throwing that rock 30 yards at that cop," as you smile at the unrest and destruction. Seriously, that is the image I have of you both. Why is that the idea running through my mind? &nbsp;Simple - neither of you ever shows up for anything bordering on true civil unrest unless it is a call to arms for what you perceive as blacks being slighted.<br />
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Black lives matter? I absolutely agree, <b>HOWEVER</b>.....what makes a black life worth more than ANY other life? Before you tell me that police officers have killed blacks and you don't feel that justice was served (think Ferguson, Freddie Gray, fill-in-the-blank), let me just reiterate one thing that MIGHT just have avoided these situations - <b>When a police officer tells you to stop, you stop. You obey them.</b>&nbsp;I know that sounds like I am oversimplifying things, but that's the case. It really is that simple. Oh, I know you will now say that, especially with Freddie Gray, the cops were dirty or racist or just wanted to kill him. I grant you that there are some bad cops. I'll also say it's a small percentage and, like anything else, this will always be the case. So let's work to weed them out and eliminate them from the police force. Tell me how you are any different than the dirty cops when 15 other officers, in an attempt to restore order, are injured by rioters. Tell me how burning a CVS pharmacy or looting a 7-11 helps the cause. Better yet, when the fire department shows up to extinguish the fire, tell me how you are helping anything in your neighborhoods when someone blatantly walks up and cuts the fire hose....on national television!<br />
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Let's be clear - this is a riot, not a protest. Martin Luther King and his followers held protests and marches. They peacefully moved their agenda forward - WITH SUCCESS! If you don't believe me, let's pull out the history books for a lesson, shall we? Blacks couldn't use public restrooms or drink from the same fountains as whites. Blacks did not have the same opportunities as whites in the workforce. And lastly, and most importantly - there's a black man as outré President! What more can we do to show you that civil rights have advanced??<br />
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Ah, but that's not it at all, is it? None of this is because people don't think black lives matter or civil rights need to be advanced, is it? There's a different reason for all of this, yet no one wants to discuss it. In the name of civil rights or because blacks were once enslaved, there is a deep underlying sense of.....entitlement. There's a sense of being owed something. It's because, dare I say it, you really do want a hand-out rather than hand-up. It's because someone, somewhere, mistakenly used the word 'entitlements' when it came to providing help. No one is 'entitled' to anything, period, in life. Yet here we are watching looters walking into drug stores and a mall, taking whatever they choose, and simply walking out. Tell me how this shows me that black lives matter. This shows that blacks are thieves, common criminals, and thugs. Let me say, too, that before that labels me a 'racist', I have yet to see one white person walking out with their arms filled with property that is not theirs. You don't want me to generalize? Then how about you change the behavior by getting involved and making this stop. No, it's not your job....though neither was inciting them to behave this way.<br />
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I am so utterly disgusted right now that my thoughts...all of them in this post....are scattered and seemingly random. All I can think is that, in your efforts to advance civil rights, you have set the movement BACK many years. What makes me say that? Well, for starters, I can envision the authorities preparing to do what they should have earlier - turning the fire hoses on the rioters and doing whatever is needed to disrupt them. Remember those days? Almost 50 years ago, actually, and what I think might be effective tonight. Sadly, though, the crowds are probably better armed than the police and firemen.....and, as we've seen far too often, not afraid to use their weapons AGAINST the police. The officers today, in an effort to ensure the don't further fan the flames of protest, didn't even assert themselves when under attack and aggression as these thugs were stoning them. The police officers retreated. This, more than anything, makes me fear for our collective safety. If the police are more concerned with perception, then what purpose do they serve? If they cannot perform their duties for fear of your riots, then what will we do to preserve order? Right. There will be no order.<br />
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I don't know what to say. This is a random post and I cannot even articulate my thoughts. I'm appalled, shocked, concerned.......and disgusted. I'm pissed off. Sharpton &amp; Jackson, here's my request to you - <b>Go earn our collective respect and get your asses out there. Make this madness stop. You want to be a 'leader', then go lead. Right now you are both a bunch of self-righteous cowards and I, just another concerned citizen, am calling you out.&nbsp;</b><br />
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Now, I'm going back to the news. There is a black Vietnam veteran speaking some sense. "These kids should be at home, studying. I'm not black, I'm American." Finally, a voice of reason. So, let's see how bad this gets.....and make sure these thugs get what they deserve. An until someone goes out there and does something to help restore order, don't you DARE say one thing about black lives matter or the cops are wrong. You want justice? work for peace.<br />
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Until next time..................<br />
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<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-58826688992246740342014-10-08T14:46:00.000-07:002014-10-08T14:46:05.936-07:00What It Means To Be A Crimson Tide Fan - The Role We Play and The Expectations I have to admit, there were plenty of mind-numbing, thoughtless, hateful comments that pushed me to write after the loss to Ole Miss this past Saturday. &nbsp;I read many hateful, negative comments on various pages and sites, as well as criticisms of the fans. &nbsp;I have to admit, I was even a bit upset at myself after it was pointed out to me that I had allowed myself to get pulled into it. &nbsp;I was angry and embarrassed, as many of us were, about several incidents that took place during, and after, the game which got me thinking. A lot. Especially on a long drive with nothing to do BUT think. &nbsp;From nowhere, a long-forgotten quote came to mind:<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">"To those whom much is given, much is expected."&nbsp;</span></b></div>
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<b>&nbsp;- John F. Kennedy</b></div>
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For some reason, it stuck in my mind and I questioned, if only for a brief moment, it's correlation. &nbsp;Was it applicable to my thoughts and our responsibilities as fans? &nbsp;I've come too the realization that it is...and there are many reasons I feel that way. &nbsp;Much has been given to us as fans of the program. &nbsp;"Given to us," is the term I use because, I dare say, no one reading this has actually been a part of the team that plays on the field. &nbsp;Don't get me wrong - I share Coach Saban's ideal that we, as fans, have our own particular job to do and our own special part of the 'Process' which is to provide support. <br />
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I remember walking into Bryant-Denny Stadium for the first time. &nbsp;The south end zone had not yet been enclosed. &nbsp;As we walked through the walkway leading to our seats, I was aware of the sense of anticipation. &nbsp;Oh, sure, I had been in other stadiums...but this was Bryant-Denny. &nbsp;This was the place built by the Bear and the champions of years gone by. &nbsp;As we made the last two or three steps toward the seats and came out of the walkway....there it was. &nbsp;It opened before me and, I have to confess, it still does. &nbsp;I make myself aware of it every time I walk into these hallowed grounds. &nbsp;This is a special place, my friends. &nbsp;A place where the grass is greener, the sun shines brighter, the atmosphere is....well, electric. &nbsp;It doesn't matter who they are playing - Ole Miss, Texas A&amp;M, Florida, or Auburn or any number of so-called 'cupcake' teams - every time I go to a game in this stadium, I make myself keenly aware of what I am about to see. &nbsp;As we sit and watch the videos on the large, oversized screens in each corner of the stadium, I silently glance at the clock in the corner. &nbsp;It tells me how soon we can expect the walk from the Tunnel and kickoff. &nbsp;When a few players run to the field to warm up, they are always greeted the same way - with cheers and applause. &nbsp;We love these kids and what they are about to give us yet again. &nbsp;When the time finally arrives - less than half an hour before kickoff - for the team to take the field, I feel it. &nbsp;I kid you not, I literally feel wave of unbelievable good fortune wash over me yet again. &nbsp;I am about to see the Alabama Crimson Tide play football. <b>&nbsp;I DO NOT CARE WHO THEY PLAY!</b> &nbsp;I just know I get to watch them......and that, to me, is a gift no one can give me but the team wearing crimson jerseys with white numbers on the helmets. &nbsp;THEY give me this gift....and they don't even know it. &nbsp;Nick Saban has assembled the finest staff of coaches and players <b>IN THE NATION </b>right her in Tuscaloosa! &nbsp;He has NO IDEA what he is giving me as a gift...which is why I choose to support them. &nbsp;Look at what they are doing for me....FOR US! &nbsp;Don't get me wrong, I know why they do it. &nbsp;Some...MANY....love the game and the competition. &nbsp;Some are playing so they keep their scholarship and get a quality education. &nbsp;Others, still, are trying to get to the next level and become professional players. &nbsp;Yes, they're doing it for themselves...HOWEVER...Coach Saban also instills the values that they are doing it as, and for, the team. &nbsp;He is teaching these boys to become men. &nbsp;Better people, if you will, by instilling values they will carry with them through life. &nbsp;Still, I have to admit, they're doing it for us, too. &nbsp;And we should be <b>DAMN GRATEFUL!</b><br />
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Show of hands - how many of you, when the mercury topped 100 degrees, would be willing to strap on the pads and jersey, buckle the chinstrap, and spend hours playing this game? &nbsp;Let's try to go back a few months when we sat, transfixed, listening to the evening news and waiting for the sportscaster to give us the Tide practice update. &nbsp;Do you remember counting down the days until the season began? &nbsp;I do. &nbsp;It was....well, it seemed to last forever. &nbsp;The season is 1/3 over already. &nbsp;These young men have been there in the grueling heat of summer and will be there in the cold hours of winter pounding into each other, tackling each other, and practicing the same play for hours in<b>&nbsp;the relentless pursuit of perfection. &nbsp;My question to you is, "Why do they deserve less from us?"</b>&nbsp; If these young men are willing to do that so that we can do our part and bear witness to their efforts, why is it okay for us to give less than 100%? &nbsp;Why is it okay for us to criticize them or the coaching staff? &nbsp;Honestly, why is it okay for us to do anything other than support them in every endeavor?<br />
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Along with being a cheering section, we have other responsibilities, too. &nbsp;One of those is to perform with the same level of class that is expected of this team. &nbsp;I'd like to point out that this town did not bear witness to a 13th Championship for 17 years. &nbsp;<b>17 YEARS!!!</b>&nbsp; We, along with the school, found that unacceptable. &nbsp;Mal Moore found it extremely unacceptable as he had been part of this university as a player, coach, the AD. &nbsp;What did Mal do? &nbsp;Only went out and got the 'Ungettable," Nick Saban. &nbsp;The university and we...WE...have been reaping the rewards of his work for several years now. &nbsp;This past week, I've heard more than enough criticism of both the coach and his staff to last for the rest of my lifetime. &nbsp;I want to personally slap someone every time I hear them do it. &nbsp;Why? &nbsp;Well, I can give you 17 very good reasons. Lest you think he's 'lost it', you might want to check the recruiting classes we get each year...<b>for the past 5 years!</b>&nbsp;Coaches Saban, Smart, Kiffin, and the others cannot perform on the field. &nbsp;Their position is excellence in play-calling and game management. &nbsp;The players have that responsibility. &nbsp;I said it earlier in the week and will say it again - please, will the person who never commits an error or makes a mistake at work kindly make your presence known. &nbsp;I have yet to meet them. &nbsp;These are 20-23-year old kids and, though they appear to be brick walls with clothing, they are kids. &nbsp;Let's try to be understanding that they are <b>in the pursuit of excellence...not excellent every time.</b>&nbsp; If they make a mistake, we want nothing more for them to admit it, correct it, and not make it again. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;We can ask nothing else.<br />
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While we are on the subject of class, let's deal with the treatment of opponents and other schools. &nbsp;I have heard one of the Ole Miss players being called everything from a criminal to a thug to a....well, I can't repeat some of the things I've read. &nbsp;Many Alabama fans have been calling for his dismissal and stating that he should be charged with assault. &nbsp;We act, dare I say, 'holier than thou' on these occasions and it honestly bothers me. &nbsp;Why, you ask? (go ahead, ask) &nbsp;I'll tell you why - it wasn't that long ago that we had a few players charged, publicly, for beating a student, taking his debit card, then using it. Yes, they were removed from the team - I understand that. &nbsp;My point is, if you're living in a glass house, drop the rocks. &nbsp;We have had our share of problems with this program, though they (fortunately) dealt with quickly. &nbsp;Still, there is NO reason to be saying some of the hateful, horrid things directed at other teams and their fans. &nbsp;We are better than that. &nbsp;By now, many (if they are still reading this) are saying, "What are we supposed to do? Just say nothing about the actions of another team or their fans??" &nbsp;That's exactly what I am saying. &nbsp;I remember several years ago when Penn State came to Tuscaloosa for a renewal of that rivalry. &nbsp;They came to town and, much to their actual surprise, left feeling like they had been at the most hospitable place on earth (short of Disneyland, I'm sure). &nbsp;Seriously, when we travelled north the following year, their comments to fellow PSU fans was, <b>"Please show the Alabama fans the same hospitality we were shown and treat them as well as they treated us."</b>&nbsp; You have NO idea how good that felt. &nbsp;Did Bama beat them? &nbsp;Absolutely? &nbsp;Were they unkind toward us or the team? &nbsp;In no way, shape, or form. &nbsp;We need to have class in everything we do, every day, as we strive for the same degree of excellence that is expected of the team. &nbsp;They, as players, deserve that and should expect nothing less.<br />
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I realize there are points I will want to make later but, for now, this is a start. &nbsp;This is my message to the Crimson Tide faithful and, I hope, the feelings of many rather than a few. &nbsp;Perhaps I am wrong and I am in the minority. &nbsp;I hope not. &nbsp;For those that take the time to read this, I thank you and hope that you, too, will join me in doing our best always for this amazing team and university...while making sure that we discourage others from giving any less than their absolute best in supporting the Alabama Crimson Tide.<br />
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Until next time..................<br />
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Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-5325659923376447192014-10-05T13:15:00.000-07:002014-10-05T13:15:34.963-07:00My Disappointment & Contempt for a Few Alabama 'Fans'...and the Bad Name They Give Us All.I'm pretty sure your mindset, upon reading the title of this post, is one of defensiveness. &nbsp;I beg you not to feel that way until you read it all...please try to have an open mind and read what I am saying completely before forming an opinion. &nbsp;If, however, you are one of the fans I am addressing, your mind will already have been made up and you're already muttering negative things, both about me and, worse, about the Crimson Tide team. Still. I fear this will a rather lengthy post as many of the things I want to say have been on my mind for some time, yet I haven't written about them until now. Sadly, especially in light of yesterday's game, they need to be addressed.<div>
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First, allow me to set the scene. &nbsp;I have been an Alabama Crimson Tide fan since I was in high school in PA, a feeling borne out of respect and admiration for Bear Bryant and his ability to keep his program in the national spotlight year after year. &nbsp;In later years, I moved to Alabama and have called it home for more than a few years now. &nbsp;Earlier this year, my daughter (who fell in love with the Tide upon seeing her first home game at the age of 11 and deciding she wanted to go to school there) enrolled as a full-time student. &nbsp;She is part of the Crimson Tide family and is now forever linked to the school and its traditions. &nbsp;While being proud OF her, I am as proud FOR her. &nbsp;Her love of the school, the town, and the team is unmatched.&nbsp;</div>
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We attend most, if not all, of the Crimson Tide home games in Tuscaloosa. &nbsp;The away games we've seen have either been the Kickoff Game (twice in Atlanta) or the National Championship Game (in Miami) against Notre Dame. &nbsp;I had not, until yesterday, experienced the rich traditions of the SEC and pre-game activities of any of the other universities. &nbsp;I decided to make the trip to Oxford, MS to watch the matchup between the Ole Miss Rebels and Alabama mostly because I have a customer that is an Ole Miss alumnus. &nbsp;I had hoped to meet them at The Grove - the renowned site of their 'tailgate' pre-game festivities. &nbsp;Ironically, I never found them...but it certainly didn't diminish the atmosphere felt walking through The Grove. &nbsp;ESPN's Gameday made its first trip ever to Oxford and the school deserved it. &nbsp;For the first time since 1962, their team is undefeated after the first 1/3 of the season. &nbsp;The Ole Miss fans were gracious and kind, asking that we, "not hurt them too badly today," as we walked toward the stadium. &nbsp;The air was crisp - what we all know as a perfect Saturday afternoon in the fall that is reserved for football. &nbsp;A slight breeze, temperatures in the low 60's, sun shining, not a cloud in the sky. &nbsp;I, personally, was wedged into a seat between Ole Miss fans - two on my left and two on my right. &nbsp;Through the game, we praised the good plays of each team, and criticized the poor. We were in agreement on most things, both positive and negative, as we had a civil conversation while watching the game. &nbsp;THIS is what I am accustomed to. &nbsp;These are the fans with whom I enjoy interacting. &nbsp;In short, it's how we, as fans, should act (in my opinion). &nbsp;Early in the 4th Quarter, I said goodbye to these fans and walked toward the end zone so I could get more photos. &nbsp;As I watched Alabama commit mistakes, while Ole Miss rose to the occasion, I began heading toward my car parked about three miles away. &nbsp;I left after Ole Miss tied the game and Alabama fumbled the ensuing kickoff knowing the end was, almost certainly, a foregone conclusion. &nbsp;Ole Miss scored again, then proceeded to miss their extra point. &nbsp;It was actually missed initially but a penalty gave them another try. &nbsp;The second attempt was blocked leaving the score at 23-17. &nbsp;As I walked, my thoughts were of the cliches of Saturday afternoon college football - I literally heard the roar of the crowd diminish as Alabama began their final drive. Less than two minutes remained and they were moving down the field, a fact evident in the lack of crowd noise. I could hear the PA announcer as I walked and knew the Tide could pull it off...until I heard that 'roar' again. &nbsp;Blake Sims had been intercepted with :37 seconds remaining to seal the victory for Ole Miss. &nbsp;I later found out that the fans stormed the field (I expected it when I heard their announcer reminding them they were NOT to do that) and that a goal post had been brought down. &nbsp;It was, though Alabama lost 23-17, a memory that will not soon fade from my mind. &nbsp;It was, literally, perfect. &nbsp;The only thing that would have made it better would have been a final drive resulting in a touchdown and and extra point conversion for a final score of 24-23 in Alabama's favor. &nbsp;</div>
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It didn't happen that way. &nbsp;Oh, everything described above happened, yet the final score remains 23-17 and Alabama lost to a very good Ole Miss team. &nbsp;Still, I won't forget it because the scene, with setting sun and temperatures dropping again, was such a perfect memory for me. &nbsp;Again, I know they lost, but guess what? &nbsp;It's Sunday afternoon and I sit here writing. &nbsp;The sun actually came up, the earth didn't spin off its axis, the apocalypse isn't upon us. &nbsp;Well, not this week, anyway. &nbsp;There are still very real concerns and priorities we all have to deal with. &nbsp;The economy is still in disrepair, there are people starving and homeless, the Ebola virus is a very real threat to life. &nbsp;THESE are things that matter. &nbsp;In addition, let me add that there are a few other harsh realities that take importance over this loss - three very good players were injured yesterday and one, God forbid, may never play again. &nbsp;I truly hope I am wrong, however watching it happen and seeing the replay makes me question how anyone could come back, whether it's because of the physical or mental aspect. &nbsp;Kenyan Drake, a very big part of the offense as both a receiver and rusher, broke his leg. &nbsp;That, in itself, would be bad but it was the way it happened. &nbsp;When he went down on the field, my view was blocked by the medical staff that ran to the field immediately. &nbsp;The only indication we had of the severity was the 'cart' driving to midfield within seconds. &nbsp;As they were tending to Kenyan, I got a text from my daughter watching at home saying, "Oh, my God, did you see that? His leg is completely broken." &nbsp;When I told her the cell service was spotty and they were not showing the replay (which, to the credit of the Ole Miss folks, they didn't) in the stadium, I asked if she was sure. &nbsp;"Did you see his ankle? Dad, it was completely sideways." &nbsp;My immediate thought, as it was for many I now know, was a flashback to Joe Theisman when he played for the Redskins. &nbsp;For anyone that witnessed it, you will not forget it. &nbsp;My mother then texted me telling me she could hear his screams as it occurred. &nbsp;In reviewing the game, I heard them, too....and I felt physically ill. &nbsp;He was shown wiping away a few tears on the cart as he was taken from the field, though he did what we had hoped - he gave a 'thumbs up' to the crowd before being airlifted back to Birmingham. &nbsp;He's a junior and, though Dr James Andrews and/or many other amazing surgeons are here in Birmingham to fix the injury, it's almost a safe bet that this was his last game for the Crimson Tide. &nbsp;Many that know the program had our thoughts turn to another former player - one with speed, agility, ability, and class from several years ago - that had his career cut short as well - Tyrone Prothro. &nbsp;We only hope it isn't the case.</div>
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So with all this background, nothing makes you relate the title to the story so far. &nbsp;I understand. &nbsp;It isn't what happened before or during, it's the reactions afterward. &nbsp;The reactions to the loss by a #3 team to a #10 team. &nbsp;At this point, there are a few other things that need to be pointed out, too. &nbsp;You are aware that Nick Saban has had <b>only one undefeated team</b>&nbsp;in all the years he's been coaching, right? &nbsp;It was the 2009 team that beat Texas in the National Championship. &nbsp;He's been the winning coach for 4 National Championship teams, yet had only one undefeated season. &nbsp;Hell, when he won it at LSU, they had TWO losses! &nbsp;Let's keep that in mind, shall we? &nbsp;As soon as the team loses a game, there are suddenly a multitude of people that are immediate experts at coaching a college team. &nbsp;I've heard that Saban must go because he is a DB coach and that's the weakest part of the team. &nbsp;I've heard Kiffin must go because his play-calling on offense sucks. &nbsp;I have heard that we need to get rid of Kirby Smart as the Defensive Coordiantor because they cannot stop, or at least couldn't stop, the no-huddle, spread offense. &nbsp;I have seen people saying hateful, vile things about some of the players. &nbsp;Based on what I've read, some of you would be happier scrapping the whole program and starting over. &nbsp;To those people, I'd like to say.....well, I can't say because I don't want some people to think less of me. &nbsp;Suffice it to say, though, that you people are idiots and what we refer to as 'fair weather fans' - the kind that are only there when a team is winning. &nbsp;It isn't going to happen, folks. &nbsp;Here'a harsh reality - the percentage of undefeated teams is almost nil. &nbsp;As in none. &nbsp;As in, are you stoned or stupid enough to think a team can win every game? &nbsp;As Hugh Freeze, coach of Ole Miss said in victory, "We beat a very good program that is considered the Gold Standard for years now." &nbsp;Everyone prepares for Alabama and wants to beat them. &nbsp;It's no different than everyone wanting to beat the reigning champion FSU Seminoles. &nbsp;It happens - it's the price of winning.....and a good problem to have.</div>
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I'd also like to submit this little tidbit to those of you that expect a perfect season year after year. &nbsp;I see you come to the stadium wearing your houndstooth or sporting the hat made famous by Bear Bryant, coach of 6 National Championship teams. &nbsp;"By God, Bear was the greatest to ever walk the sideline," are words that come forth effortlessly, though I'm pretty sure you don't mean the teams in 1967, 1968, 1969, or 1970. &nbsp;So we're all on the same page, The Crimson Tide, in those years, posted records of 8-2, 8-3, 6-5, and 6-5 respectively. &nbsp;Let that sink in. &nbsp;<b>6 wins and 5 losses....two years in a row.</b>&nbsp; How many of you would be hanging Nick Saban's likeness in effigy if that happened now? &nbsp;So you know, Bear followed those years with 4 teams that went 11-1 and one that went 10-2. &nbsp;Why? &nbsp;He was considered the brains of the operation and everyone, including the fans, listened to what Bear said. &nbsp;Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea now. &nbsp;Maybe, just maybe, some of you could let Nick do what he does best. &nbsp;In the past 5 years, they've had the #1 recruiting class in the country every year. &nbsp;Guess what? &nbsp;he still has to get great individuals to play together as a team. &nbsp;Great individuals don't always make the best team, though his record speaks for itself. &nbsp;Bear Bryant was at Alabama for roughly 26 years and won 6 Championships. &nbsp;Nick has been here 8 and has 3 Championships. &nbsp;Do the math - he is here for a reason and it's time we start following, blindly if you must, his lead. &nbsp;It's called trust and he is, per the University President, the best investment the school has ever made. &nbsp;Who in the hell are you to question that? &nbsp;Maybe it's because your only affiliation to the school is watching the football team and yelling, "Roll Tide," rather than, "War Eagle." &nbsp;That's great, but when you voice the things you do, whether in person or on social media, you portray ALL Alabama fans as the senseless, thoughtless, hateful people you've become. &nbsp;It isn't fair to those of us that try to win with class and lose with dignity. &nbsp;<b>MAKE NO MISTAKE - We ALL hate to see them lose!</b>&nbsp; Most of us, though, are realists and took our own lesson from Bear Bryant and applied it to our lives - <b>"When you get to the end zone, act like you've been there before."</b>&nbsp; When you lose with dignity and respect, and you show respect for the performance of the opponent, you are perceived as someone with class and, honestly, they won't be able to say anything bad, nor find fault. &nbsp;Trust me, it is better to have the reputation as the classy, kind Bama fans than the hated fans most perceive. &nbsp;Their perception is the reality and, while most of us spend time trying to be classy to our opponents, your actions make us have to work harder. &nbsp;I am NOT saying to be complacent or that we like to lose - we don't - but you have to respect and appreciate the fact that the program IS the gold standard and the one that others are hoping to become. &nbsp;It serves no purpose to be boastful, rude, arrogant, or hateful to others, though that is what I have seen from many. &nbsp;It truly disgusts me and makes me distance myself from that portion of the fan base. &nbsp;It says a lot, too, about how those people are in their everyday life.</div>
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Let's try to remember this, too - these are kids. &nbsp;Oh, they are huge and can eat a side of beef in one sitting, but they are just out of high school and have to perform in front of hundreds of thousands weekly. &nbsp;Yes, yes, I know we give them scholarships and an education to do it, I realize this is what they have been training for, etc. &nbsp;I get that. &nbsp;Still, I have yet to see 101,821 people show up to watch me do my job. &nbsp;If I have a bad day, there might be a handful of people, at most, that know of it. &nbsp;If they have a bad day, it is seen by millions, especially when televised nationally. &nbsp;I know few of you, and fewer still that I am addressing with this post, but can guess that you are in the same position. &nbsp;What, did you file something incorrectly? &nbsp;Did one of your welds break? &nbsp;Did you dump trash on the ground rather than hit the truck? &nbsp;Again, not many know of your mistakes and fewer still watched you commit them. &nbsp;You aren't perfect and do not perform perfectly every day. &nbsp;Don't expect it of others if you cannot do it. &nbsp;Think about that the next time you are criticizing OJ Howard for dropping a pass, TJ Yeldon for missing a first down, or Blake Sims for overthrowing his receiver. &nbsp;</div>
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I am going out on a limb here but think I can safely say, based on the friends I have that are fellow Tide fans, that you are giving us a bad name and we don't appreciate it. &nbsp;More importantly, if you cannot support the team when they are down and experience a loss (and need it MOST), please go cheer for another school. &nbsp;Alabama has enough fans that are there through both the good and the bad that we don't need you on the bandwagon. &nbsp;If you only want to be a Crimson Tide fan when they are winning, that's fine but do us ALL a favor - <b>Keep your mouths shut when they are losing. &nbsp;Your&nbsp;ignorance seeps out.</b>&nbsp; This pertains to ALL fans of every sport. &nbsp;If you cannot be there and give them 100% support, your team not only doesn't need you, they don't want you. &nbsp;I know you question the abilities of the coaches and the players when they lose, but I will submit this - if you were any good as a player, you'd either be out there or would've been previously. &nbsp;If you were, I'm guessing you weren't good at it because you'd never hear anything but positive comments coming from former players and coaches. &nbsp;If you think you can do a better job than Nick, Kirby, Lane, or the others, show us. &nbsp;Show us how you can coach a national powerhouse or, better yet, turn a 7-5 team into a perennial champion.</div>
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For now, though, lay off. &nbsp;Stop being rude, hateful, and critical. &nbsp;The Alabama Crimson Tide are off limits if you want to be a fair weather fan and only ride the bandwagon. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;We support them 24/7/365. &nbsp;We do not find fault, we offer encouragement. &nbsp;I have to admit, it was extremely evident yesterday at Ole Miss - there fans are hungry and so is the team. &nbsp;We have taken winning for granted and almost look at it as a birthright. &nbsp;It is not. &nbsp;It has to be earned, year after year, which is how you get respect and build a dynasty. &nbsp;Alabama fans get the opportunity, every week, to watch one of the most storied programs in college football history take the field. &nbsp;I don't care if they are play Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Auburn, Florida Atlantic or Georgia Southern - keep your asses in the seats and encourage the team. &nbsp;They have earned it and, as Nick pointed out years ago, it is OUR responsibility as part of being 'ALL IN' as a team. &nbsp;You'd never expect them to play in an empty stadium.....so sit and watch them win, and lose (as infrequently as possible), with class. &nbsp;If not, there are other teams that you can bitch about. &nbsp;Matter of fact, why not go be a Michigan fan. &nbsp;That ought to keep you busy this year.</div>
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Thanks - I had to get that off my chest.</div>
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Until next time...................</div>
Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-48070429172589665902014-04-30T18:28:00.000-07:002014-04-30T18:28:40.274-07:00Donald Sterling, Race, and Why I'm Still Asking QuestionsAgain. &nbsp;It's happened again. &nbsp;I suppose I shouldn't be shocked by this latest story, however I find myself walking around the house saying, "Hold on a minute. &nbsp;What about....?" as I question the aspects of this story the media dare not touch. &nbsp;So let me get this straight - Donald Sterling, owner of the LA Clippers and a man with a noted history of racist practices asks,&nbsp;<b>of&nbsp;his 'girlfriend' in a 'private' conversation, </b>if she needs to advertise the fact that she is hanging out with black people. &nbsp;Did I get that right? &nbsp;Am I also correct in assuming that the one little snippet we heard on the news (repeated ad nauseum) is only a portion of the conversation? &nbsp;I think we can all agree the media would NEVER play just a portion of such an occurrence that might be out of context, right? &nbsp; Now, before you crucify me for saying this was, in fact, out of context or that there could be a context where this was in any way right, please understand that I'm not saying that at all. &nbsp;I'm pointing out that our friends in the media tend to edit as they will whether it's the 'whole story' or not. &nbsp;<b>Too, I want to state in bold print - I do not believe in racism, racist comments, or actions in any way, shape or form. &nbsp;</b>What I am trying to state is that there are other factors to this story that seem to have been overlooked...and we should be greatly concerned. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, a good friend posted an article earlier today written by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. &nbsp;The sentiments and questions he asks, and the overall tone of the article, struck me as these were very much the same feelings and questions I had. &nbsp;Basically, he points out that, while we are angry, there are many people and many reasons for the anger - not just Donald Sterling and his racist comments. &nbsp;Where to begin? &nbsp;As Kareem stated, I have a list.<br />
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Let's start with the girlfriend. &nbsp;You know, the one that is now seen on roller skates with a visor pulled down to cover her face. &nbsp;Wait a minute, she had no problem showing her face in any pictures that are being broadcast nationally every hour, on the hour, on every network. &nbsp;My first thought, after hearing the comments Sterling made and seeing the vast age difference between the two was, "Oh, she set him up to bring him down." &nbsp;Something about a 'woman scorned' perhaps? &nbsp;Who knows? &nbsp;Not my business and doesn't affect my life one iota. &nbsp;Still, let's be serious - do we really think she saw HIM and thought, "Wow, what a hottie! &nbsp;I have to have him!" &nbsp;Uh, no. &nbsp;Seriously, we're all adults here so let's call it what it was - he lavished her with gifts &amp; cash, while she stayed with him for....well, the gifts &amp; cash. &nbsp;I could be wrong but....show of hands - who thinks I hit the nail on the head? &nbsp;Put your hand down. &nbsp;It was a rhetorical question. &nbsp;<br />
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So, as Kareem said in his piece, <b>"She was like a sexy nanny playing 'Pin the Fried Chicken on the Sambo'.She blindfolded him and spun him around until he was just blathering all sorts of incoherent racist sound bites that had the news media peeing themselves with glee."</b>&nbsp; He's right, of course. &nbsp;And the news media loved it. &nbsp;They had another instance that they could put on national news and bring down another white elitist for being a racist. &nbsp;Are we really going to act like this episode is what should be the big deal, though? &nbsp;Why weren't people outraged years ago when he paid almost $3 Million to settle a suit involving his discrimination against blacks &amp; hispanics? &nbsp;A picture of his girlfriend and his asking if she had to advertise she was friends with blacks is what brought him down? &nbsp;THAT is what is getting Al Sharpton's panties in a twist? &nbsp;Wait....here are a fews other things worth noting - The NAACP cancelled the award they were going to give him on May 15th. &nbsp;Though we all know that part, what wasn't mentioned frequently, if at all, was that this organization, <b>despite having full knowledge of his previous discriminatory acts, </b>accepted multiple grants from the Donald Sterling Foundation, while giving him several, "Image awards," over the years. &nbsp;NOW, we're outraged? &nbsp;I'll bet if I look up the word 'Hypocrite'.......<br />
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My point is this - Sterling was wrong and, apparently, a habitual racist. &nbsp;Why, 8 years after his massive lawsuit, are we letting THESE comments bring him down? &nbsp;Why was he allowed to own the team then when, without nary a whisper from the press, he said, "black people smell and they attract vermin?" &nbsp;I don't remember it being a story. &nbsp;Did I miss something? &nbsp;Seriously, in one day this guy received a lifetime ban from the NBA and has to sell his team (presumably) because he asked his girlfriend in a private conversation if she had to be seen with, and promote that she is friends with, blacks? &nbsp;Wow, did WE miss the bus on the first go-round. <br />
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My other point is this - if Sterling has to play by the rules, EVERYONE has to play by the rules. &nbsp;No longer should people of ANY race be allowed to say discriminatory things. &nbsp;Racism will never end because the playing field isn't level. &nbsp;As long as it is okay for people of other races to 'cry foul' when a white person says something, it won't end. &nbsp;As long as, "I was only joking," is allowed to be uttered and accepted when someone of a different race makes a racial slur, it won't end. &nbsp;It happens, folks. &nbsp;To deny that is to be...well, in denial. &nbsp;If we want change, we have to make the change for all. &nbsp;I'd like to say that now is that time. &nbsp;Sadly, that time came long ago.....and we're still trying to get everyone on the same page.<br />
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Until next time................<br />
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<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-43692177663341636082014-03-10T15:59:00.000-07:002014-03-10T15:59:42.271-07:00A Year Later...And Learning To LiveToday, March 10th, 2014, marks the first anniversary of my wife's death. &nbsp;How strange it feels to even write that. &nbsp;I will say, however, that the title bears witness to where life has taken me these past 12 months and how her passing taught me, and teaches me still, how to live. &nbsp;I've learned much, experienced even more, and have come to accept that things do, in fact, happen for a reason. &nbsp;I think it's safe to say I was not prepared for this in any way. &nbsp;Who is? &nbsp;Did I think that I'd bear the title of 'widower' before I was firmly in my 50's? No way...though I know there are those, close friends included, that have experienced it at a younger age than I. &nbsp;Yes, this 'death &amp; dying' thing is an ugly, nasty, cruel, mean villain, however I've also come to fully understand that life is more how we react to our circumstances than the circumstance themselves.<br />
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When I wrote a year ago, I said that I had no idea where life would lead me, though I knew I did not want to waste any time. &nbsp;Doing what? &nbsp;I had, and at times still have, no idea. &nbsp;I came to realize, maybe somewhat subconsciously, that when an opportunity presented itself, I was taking it. &nbsp;When the annual call came to spend time with friends going to a NASCAR race, I took it without question. &nbsp;When friends suggested that they were going zip-lining and might I want to tag along and try it, the answer was a certain, "I'm in," almost before they finished the question. &nbsp;When the time came to go to Tuscaloosa on Saturdays to watch the Crimson Tide, well......you know that was going to happen. &nbsp;Most importantly, when the opportunity to spend time with friends or family presents itself, I am there.<br />
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In all fairness, I stopped writing a moment ago (a pause indiscernible to you reading this, I realize) to ask myself what I am doing. &nbsp;What I thought might be a long, poignant post....will not be. &nbsp;I can abridge this and, today at least, feel I need to. &nbsp;So what do I have to write about (rather than my usual rambling)? &nbsp;It's a few simple truths I've learned - not Mom's Rules for Living, mind you, but it's what I've gleaned.<br />
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<li><b>Family &amp; friends are the most important things in the world</b>. &nbsp;These relationships should be cherished, loved, and nurtured. &nbsp;Make time for them.</li>
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<li><b>Everyone grieves at their own pace.</b> &nbsp;I, personally, had issues with this and was frozen with indecision at times. &nbsp;I now realize you get to choose and decide what and when is right to move forward. &nbsp;This is YOUR journey - no one else has to walk your path and they do not know what your life is like. &nbsp;To say they do is ludicrous.</li>
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<li><b>Do your job, do it well, but do not get lost in it.</b> &nbsp;Again, for me it was easier said than done. &nbsp;it was my comfort zone and provided normalcy when I needed it. &nbsp;That, and the people at work are family so it was easy to migrate to 'that place' at times.</li>
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<li><b>Life is short - play hard.</b>&nbsp; Okay, in fairness, this is nothing more than reiterating the fact that, when presented with an opportunity to try something new, different, or fun, take the chance. &nbsp;Not only will it keep you occupied, but you might just find something you really enjoy, as well as learn something.</li>
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<li><b>Be gentle with others.</b>&nbsp; Okay, now I'm sounding like a Hallmark card, but hear me out. &nbsp;Nothing makes you feel better than offering help to the elderly, holding a door for someone, picking up dropped packages, etc. &nbsp;Kneeling down to talk with a child or to make them smile? &nbsp;It's a feeling like no other. &nbsp;Momma taught you to do good deeds - do them.</li>
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<li><b>Act a little crazy and laugh at yourself.</b>&nbsp; In light of what happened, I can tell you it gives you a different perspective. &nbsp;Things you might have worried about previously, don't seem that significant. &nbsp;Hey, listen, I'm always going to be the guy that trips over that crack in the sidewalk, then jumps up to see if anyone saw me. &nbsp;Always. &nbsp;It's just that now, I've learned to get up and see if anyone saw me....then view them as an audience. &nbsp;I don't pirouette yet, but why not, right?</li>
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<li><b>Plan and prepare - PLEASE! </b>&nbsp;I said it last year and will again - make sure you have a will and that your beneficiaries are updated. &nbsp;One thing many of you do upon seeing me now is either A) tell me how you've planned, or B) tell me how you're going to plan. &nbsp;Do it. &nbsp;Today. &nbsp;Trust me, your family and loved ones will be glad you did. &nbsp;</li>
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<li><b>Don't let loss make you fear losing again.</b>&nbsp; Okay, even I read that several times to make sure it sounded right and made sense. &nbsp;I'm pretty sure one of the 'Grammar Gurus' will point it out if I erred, however an explanation might help. &nbsp;Just because your spouse/significant other died, you shouldn't be frozen with fear that you'll experience that pain again. &nbsp;Because here's the harsh reality - you will. &nbsp;No matter what happens, we are all going to experience this at some point. &nbsp;Refer back to earlier points - live, laugh, and love. &nbsp;You'll be glad you did.</li>
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These are but a few, albeit most important, of the lessons and realizations I've had in the past year. &nbsp;I said it before and will share it again - I was blessed to have had Sharon in my life at all. &nbsp;To love her, and be loved by her, was something I will carry with me always and will smile with every memory. &nbsp;You've all taught me, though, that life goes on and this was a chapter in the book, not the end of the story. &nbsp;There are many....or several, at least...chapters yet to be written, I hope. &nbsp;I'm counting on many of you to take an active part in those chapters as well. &nbsp;Thank you for being the amazing friends and family you've been, and for the love, caring, and kindness you've shown me. &nbsp;I truly do not feel worthy, however I promise to do my best to show you, through actions, how grateful I truly am for all of you. &nbsp;You've helped me learn what it is to truly live again.</div>
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Until next time.............</div>
Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-56352208732500592802014-03-02T12:09:00.000-08:002014-03-02T12:09:38.479-08:00A Dying Country, Its Beliefs...And Our Apologies to Our ChildrenMany of you reading this know that, lately anyway, it takes something drastic for me to write. &nbsp;Something that is so incredibly appalling or makes no sense to me whatsoever. &nbsp;Something that, I'm fairly certain, will make most of you want to scream. &nbsp;Now is such a time and refers to the insanity gripping our nation. &nbsp;I know there are probably many of you already saying, "Gee, don't you think you ought to be more specific?" &nbsp;True, there are many things happening right now that would make people think the situation is dire. &nbsp;It is. &nbsp;More specifically, though, I am referring to the situation in Morgan Hill, CA, a suburb of San Jose. &nbsp;The events that took place at Live Oak High School have outraged many and have me, at least, wondering where our common sense has gone. &nbsp;When did we 'sell out' and why? &nbsp;Before going there, however, let's recap the story in case you haven't heard it.<div>
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Live Oak High School, from what I've read, seems to be an ethnically-diverse school. &nbsp;That certainly doesn't make it different from most schools these days. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, in the not-too-distant future, whites will be in the minority in the United States. &nbsp;I get it. &nbsp;Still, I'm not sure that our forefathers imagined this 'melting pot' to be as divisive as it is...or will be. &nbsp;So, American students at Live Oak decided to wear American flag t-shirts to school during the Cinco de Mayo Mexican heritage celebration last year. &nbsp;These students were ordered by the school administration to either turn the shirts inside out or were sent home from school that day. &nbsp;Let me say that again - <b>American students, wearing shirts that represented the United States flag, were ordered to either remove the shirts or leave school.</b>&nbsp; This is the same flag that, when parading past the reviewing stands in the Olympics, will not be lowered for ANY country in the world. &nbsp;It simply isn't done. &nbsp;In this case, however, school officials expressed concerns about racial violence based on previous problems between white and Latino students.</div>
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The case quickly gained national notoriety when the American Freedom Law Center, as well as other similar organizations, joined the cause and sued the school district. &nbsp;They lost. &nbsp;Yes, you read that correctly - they lost in court. &nbsp;Not to worry, though, as our legal system has that most wonderful option - an appeal process - that will allow a higher court to review and rule on the case. &nbsp;Thursday of this week, February 27th, 2014, the ruling was handed down by the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals. &nbsp;In their view, the school district acted appropriately when they made the students remove the shirts or leave school. &nbsp;Again, based on past instances of racial violence, the school thought it best to send students home. &nbsp;This ruling, handed down by a unanimous 3-judge panel, can also be appealed by an 11-judge panel. &nbsp;Already, the lawyers are planning such an appeal. &nbsp;Okay, so there are the facts of the case. &nbsp;Now.....it's my turn.</div>
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<b>Are you kidding me???</b>&nbsp; <b>How dare you trample the right of our citizens and The Constitution? &nbsp;</b>Before anyone starts to argue, hear me out and let me summarize what I've said above, as stated by one of the American students lawyers - <b>"The 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals ruled and upheld the rights of Mexican students celebrating the holiday of another country over US students proudly supporting THIS country."</b>&nbsp;&nbsp;Let me also say that I, as well as many of the people I know, are certainly glad to celebrate the holiday along with our Mexican friends. &nbsp;Should it ever come to violence if a student wants to wear an American flag? &nbsp;Certainly not. &nbsp;If the students of Mexican heritage find that offensive, let's deal with that. &nbsp;Why....in the name of all that is precious and right, WHY do we have to keep concerning ourselves over not wanting to hurt the feelings of other nationalities here at home? &nbsp;This is the United States of America. &nbsp;I can understand if we were in Mexico...or France, or Spain, or Germany or.....the list goes on. &nbsp;I could understand why we'd have to be respectful of their heritage and customs. &nbsp;This isn't, however, any of those countries. &nbsp;Again, lest anyone think I (those that know me, know better) am a bigot or racist, let me reiterate my personal stance - I am fine living in a mutually-respectful environment where we all can, and do, get along and live in harmony. &nbsp;Let's be honest, though - if there were previous problems and the school district feared it happening again, they made this decision so that the Mexican students would not be offended and start any racial violence. &nbsp;</div>
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Here is my ultimate question - when does it end? &nbsp;When do we start concerning ourselves with how Americans feel rather than foreigners? &nbsp;We, as Americans, have been told we need to be tolerant. &nbsp;In actuality, it is demanded that we be tolerant. &nbsp;There are ongoing issues and legal cases involving those of Middle Eastern descent. &nbsp;My message to those folks is quite simple, and I will say what many think - <b>People of your nationality hijacked several planes for the sole purpose of killing Americans on our home soil. &nbsp;Those same people make it known, daily, that the only good American is a dead American. &nbsp;I know I am generalizing, however this is America - please do not act incredulous when we feel this way.</b>&nbsp; As a matter of fact, if it is so horrible living here, there are options, though I assume there is a reason you are here and not in your country. &nbsp;Please, too, acknowledge that fact that if this were in a Middle Eastern country, there is absolutely NO WAY we would be given the same considerations you are being given by our government. &nbsp;Do you seriously think those governments and courts would side with an American or rule that their own people were discriminating against us. &nbsp;If you say anything but, "Hardly," I will call you a liar.</div>
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The same goes for this situation, so let me ask a different way (as I am a big fan of analogies) - If we were in Mexico in July and decided we wanted to celebrate the 4th of July, do you think Mexican school officials would make Mexican students remover THEIR Mexican flag t-shirts? &nbsp;How do you think it would be accepted if the American students resorted to violence? &nbsp;Would they send them home and consider the rights of American students over Mexican students. &nbsp;Again, if the answer is anything other than, "Absolutely not," I will say you're either lying or naive. &nbsp;It would not happen. &nbsp;So what do we, as white Americans, have to do get the same consideration guaranteed by the Constitution, as those living here from a foreign country. &nbsp;Better yet, what do we, as white Americans, have to do to get the same consideration as any minority? &nbsp;Is violence the answer when someone disagrees with our own personal beliefs? &nbsp;it seems to work with others so why not us?</div>
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Perhaps we need to start a revolution, again, to take back our country. &nbsp;Our elected officials are overly consumed with bowing to the demands of these groups, while neglecting the needs of their fellow Americans. &nbsp;At times like this, I think how fortunate I am to be older as I will, eventually, not have this as a concern. &nbsp;I worry, though, for our next generation. &nbsp;Something has to be done and, I believe, it has to start soon before we give away our identity as a nation. &nbsp;Perhaps revolt is needed. &nbsp;Unless we give in to the demands of these groups, there is little peace anyway, so what remains? &nbsp;How can this change? &nbsp;I really have no answer other than reevaluating our (apparently) outdated ideas on how we allow immigrants into the country and what we give them that costs us much. &nbsp;I've said it before - our forefathers came to this country and were expected to learn OUR ways, OUR language, OUR heritage. &nbsp;I can almost say, without hesitation, that they never envisioned a world where we had to, "Press 1 for English." &nbsp;We need help and we need it now. &nbsp;Our government, as evidenced above, MUST start using common sense and punish the offenders, not those that might fan the flames of violence simply by being themselves. &nbsp;I only hope we can find our common sense before our children live in a country we do not recognize and whose beliefs and values have been trampled all in the name of not offending our 'guests'.</div>
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Until next time...............</div>
Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-62503687842057025362014-01-04T23:08:00.001-08:002014-01-04T23:08:03.354-08:00An Open Letter of Apology as a Crimson Tide FanI hate that I even have to write this. &nbsp;I guess I should have seen it coming but, still, I hoped it wouldn't be necessary. &nbsp;I've spent a few days reading countless posts online - editorials, Facebook, etc - and feel it necessary, for myself anyway, to write and apologize. &nbsp;I think the culmination of all of this was when a 'fan' launched herself over two rows of Oklahoma fans to get to one that was taunting her. &nbsp;Actually, I'm not sure it wasn't the other way around, though I will assume it was mutual. &nbsp;We were at the game and, as usual, alcohol played a part in the melee. &nbsp;Does that make it right? &nbsp;Of course not. &nbsp;Was it in any way justified? &nbsp;Never. &nbsp;It was, as I said, the culmination of a season in which some of the Alabama fans consider it their birthright to win every game.<br />
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As many of you know, my daughter will be attending the University of Alabama next fall. &nbsp;I was ecstatic and elated at the news. &nbsp;I have been one of the Crimson Tide faithful for years and was extremely proud of the fact that she will be attending her 'dream school'. &nbsp;One of the things that I have always admired about the fans at Alabama is the reputation that preceded them. &nbsp;I remember a few years ago when the rivalry with Penn State was renewed. &nbsp;It was to be a home &amp; away series - once in Tuscaloosa, then in State College, PA - when Joe Paterno would coach against Nick Saban. &nbsp;It was a bit of the 'changing of the guard' in some ways. &nbsp;Joe Paterno, winningest coach in NCAA history (don't get me started on the NCAA stripping him of the wins) against Nick Saban's Crimson Tide. &nbsp;At that point, Coach Saban was one of two coaches with championships at two different schools. &nbsp;That club consists of Saban and Bear Bryant, Alabama's other beloved legend. &nbsp;When Penn State and their fans came to town, Alabama fans had only recently won their first championship in 17 years, &nbsp;There had been a long drought and they were proud without being arrogant. &nbsp;Penn State fans went home with stories of 'southern hospitality' and kindness shown them in Tuscaloosa. &nbsp;The following year when we went to Penn State, I recall vividly their fans showing us great kindness. &nbsp;I remember friends telling other PSU fans, "Let's show them the same good time they showed us last year." &nbsp;It was a great experience tailgating and spending time with the majority of the fans (as I'm sure they experienced the previous year), and they were nothing if not the most gracious of hosts. &nbsp;We even spoke of the other schools that are not as gracious. &nbsp;They shared their Big 10 stories and we shared the SEC stories. &nbsp;It was a camaraderie that left us feeling good and, more importantly, I recall feeling humble as Alabama was victorious. &nbsp;Both fan bases left the stadium that day feeling good about the experience, acknowledging both the victory and the defeat, yet laughing together afterward. &nbsp;Now, sadly, I fear we have become one of 'those schools' that we discussed that day. <br />
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Winning will do that, I suppose. &nbsp;When you win as much as Alabama has recently, many come to expect (and almost demand) a victory in every game. &nbsp;To the other Crimson Tide fans, I have to share this harsh reality &nbsp;- there will always be a winner and a loser as we all understand the cliche, "You can't win 'em all." &nbsp;Oh, yeah, you can certainly try. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, that's why they play the games. &nbsp;We'd better try to win them all, but the sad fact is it just won't happen. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;Unfortunately, some people not only take losing personally, they become violent and vindictive. &nbsp;This is the part I dread writing as it brings back unpleasant and unpopular memories. &nbsp;We all remember Harvey Updyke poisoning Auburn's beloved oak trees. &nbsp;Lest any of you think, <b>"What's the big deal? &nbsp;They were only trees,"</b> you have to understand what they meant to Auburn and their traditions. &nbsp;This would be like toppling the statue of Bear Bryant in Tuscaloosa or taking a sledgehammer to the Nittany Lion Statue at Penn State. The sad fact is that this man brazenly called in to a radio talk show and admitted he did it. &nbsp;There is also video evidence of the woman at the Sugar Bowl against Oklahoma a few days ago engaging the OU fans, being pulled away, then returning and literally jumping OVER other fans to get to the person that was arguing with her. &nbsp;Her name is Michelle Pritchett and she is now trying to justify what she did. &nbsp;Even with the video of her jumping the OU fan, she wants us to believe she did it because her son was being taunted and challenged to fight. &nbsp;Never mind that there are other pictures of her taunting earlier - she wants to say that, "earlier, these OU fans were throwing bottles in the stands because they were drunk." &nbsp;Michelle, I was at this game and many others - I can promise you that, had that happened, they would have been removed far earlier. &nbsp;You were visibly intoxicated and are now trying to lie your way out of this. &nbsp;You come from a town with a population of 258, I believe, and you own a photography business. &nbsp;Something like this cannot be good for business, can it? &nbsp;Neither can lying, nor can it be for the fan base at a school with proud traditions. &nbsp;You are an embarrassment to your family, your children, and the school that, honestly <b>does not need you as a 'fan'.</b>&nbsp; Moreover, and I hope I speak for many when I say, we don't WANT you as a fan.<br />
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As I was writing this, I had an exchange on FB with a few friends from work - one in particular that is an Auburn alum. &nbsp;After this year's Iron Bowl when Alabama played Auburn (oh, please, you ALL know which game it was. &nbsp;Think "for a second."), there was a shooting here in Birmingham where, allegedly, a woman shot another, saying they, "weren't real Alabama fans because they weren't upset enough about Alabama losing." &nbsp;That was where the story stopped when it went out to the national media. &nbsp;Sensationalism sells and, living in Birmingham, we know there is more to the story as it was reported locally. &nbsp;Yes, that exchange took place, however the women then left the party and, as the first woman (the eventual shooter) tried to drive away, her car was blocked in by the second woman. &nbsp;She then got out of the car, yelled for the victim to move and, when she did not do it quickly enough, the shooter shot several times, killing her. &nbsp;Yes, they were at a party for the game, and yes, there was an argument about the game. &nbsp;There was also alcohol involved and this is in an apartment complex that is known for violence and shootings. &nbsp;So, was it related to the football game? &nbsp;It would be easy to help paint Alabama fans are stone-cold killers when they lose by relating this story, however (and many will believe what they want anyway) I think this was more than a bit unfair. &nbsp;Paul Harvey would have had a good time telling <b>'the rest of the story'. &nbsp;</b>The problem, though, is that there are the Harvey Updykes and Michelle Pritchetts in this world whose actions automatically make the shooting a very real &amp; believable story. &nbsp;The next step, and what we see happening now, is that we all get lumped into that category. &nbsp;I, for one, have had enough. &nbsp;To those that feel the need to act this way - we don't want you as fans. &nbsp;You are classless and poor sports. &nbsp;Take it somewhere else.<br />
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As for the Sugar Bowl game specifically, let me point out to Tide fans that want to complain - Alabama lost. &nbsp;They got beat by a better-prepared team. &nbsp;Are you seriously going to blame Oklahoma for AJ McCarron overthrowing his receivers by 10-15 yards? &nbsp;Are you going to be upset because the Oklahoma freshman quarterback was deadly accurate with his passes and their offense moved at a pace Alabama couldn't defend? &nbsp;Nick Saban has freely admitted he doesn't like the 'hurry-up, no huddle' offense. &nbsp;Want to know why? &nbsp;They haven't figured out how to, as one reporter put it, 'kill it' yet. &nbsp;They cannot, with their detailed defensive schemes, defend against this style of play. &nbsp;They will eventually, but for now, you cannot blame Oklahoma or their fans. &nbsp;Were we all frustrated? &nbsp;Hell yes! &nbsp;Did I punch anyone or jump someone? &nbsp;No, we cheered more loudly and supported the team. &nbsp;That's what fans do. &nbsp;Let me ask this, too - you wanted Mal Moore to go find you a coach that would restore the winning ways here. &nbsp;You'd do almost anything to get 'that guy'. &nbsp;We got him. &nbsp;In the beginning, Nick Saban challenged all of us, players and fans alike, to do our part to restore this proud program to where we expect it to be. &nbsp;We all bought in and made our promises. &nbsp;We wanted a coach that would avoid NCAA infractions and ensure compliance. &nbsp;We all know the knot we get in our stomach when we hear there's even a whiff of impropriety, right? &nbsp;Earlier this year, Clinton-Dix was suspended for two games when an assistant coach let him <b>borrow money</b>&nbsp;(that was repaid immediately)&nbsp;when his car broke down and he had to get home to his family. &nbsp;The coach got fired. &nbsp;Nick is trying to do his part to maintain the highest standards of the program, right? &nbsp;Then let me say this - <b>DO YOUR PART, TOO!</b>&nbsp; We can no longer hold the team to a higher standard than we are willing to give ourselves. &nbsp;If we don't, I'm telling you now that I do NOT want to hear any bitching when Nick Saban decides the fan base here is more than he wants to deal with and he leaves or retires. &nbsp;Go ahead, tell me how, "He's under contract through 2020." &nbsp;I suggest you ask Penn State fans how that works. &nbsp;&nbsp; <br />
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I'm not sure where we, as a society, are headed when this behavior seems to be rampant. &nbsp;Honestly, we see it with pro sports teams and have witnessed it, in person, in college sports. &nbsp;We've all read the stories and seen the news about this happening with high school and youth sports, too. &nbsp;It's time for it to stop. &nbsp;Coach Saban, after the loss to Oklahoma, made the statement that he thinks it's time to go back to where we, as a program, were in 2008 before they began their winning ways again. &nbsp;It's time to, "start over again," and get back to the basics that allowed them to build championship teams as they have to this point. &nbsp;I think it's time for the fans to do that, too. &nbsp;It's time for people to remember what the 17-year layoff felt like. &nbsp;It's time to remember what it was like when the coaches stayed only 3-4 years because they were NOT winning. &nbsp;It's time to go back to that point and recall Tommy Tuberville's Auburn teams that won six Iron Bowls in a row. &nbsp;It's time to support the team, not act like classless fools that pout, kick, cry, and scream when the team does not win. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, if you really want to stymie an opposing fan, congratulate them on their win. &nbsp;On our way home from the game, we stopped for gas in Slidell, LA. &nbsp;Several other cars arrived at the same time and, as the people entered the store, we could see the Oklahoma jacketed and sweatshirts. &nbsp;I happened to be next to an OU fan as we walked in and jokingly said, "Oh, no, Oklahoma again. I saw so many sacks tonight, I'm expecting to be tackled." &nbsp;This, alone, helped start a five minute conversation about the good and bad of the game. &nbsp;As we left, we both congratulated the other and wished each other the best next year. &nbsp;Does that make me any less an Alabama fan? &nbsp;Those of you reading this, that truly know me, know that answer. &nbsp;I bleed Crimson! &nbsp;Technically, we all do, but you get the point.<br />
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So here is my challenge, going forward, to ALL Alabama Crimson Tide faithful, as well as fans of every team and sport - <b>"Hold ALL fans of your team to the same high standard you expect of a competitor and their fans. &nbsp;We must bring back the 'spirit of competition' and remember that, ultimately, there can only be one victor." &nbsp;</b>No longer, as far as I'm concerned, will I stand by and allow some of the actions I've witnessed. &nbsp;I challenge all of you to do the same.<br />
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Again, on behalf of the arrogant, ugly actions of (apparently, more than) a few, I apologize for the stories making news. &nbsp;I apologize to the University, the coach, and the players for allowing bad press to reflect poorly upon them. &nbsp;It sickens me that it has come to this, but know that I, for one, will do my part to see the change I wish to see in others. &nbsp;I'll do this so I can, once again, proudly say, <b>"ROLL TIDE."</b><br />
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Until next time…………..<br />
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<b><br /></b>Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-27100357869125859492013-12-21T13:01:00.000-08:002013-12-21T13:01:51.530-08:00We're At That Point, Apparently…And I'm Not Sure We Can Find Our Way Back. Thoughts Sparked By The Duck DudeAs I start, just let me say that, much like anyone else, these are purely MY OPINIONS. &nbsp;I've written more than a few times and hope it's always, if nothing more, thought-provoking. &nbsp;Something that will spark debate. &nbsp;Cause the need for argument on both sides. &nbsp;Please understand, too, that when I say 'argument', I am not talking of fighting but, rather, of two (or more) sides expressing their viewpoints in a calm, rational way so as to help the other side better understand. &nbsp;For this to happen, we need to be open-minded and LISTEN to the other side. &nbsp;To argue with a close-minded person is pointless. &nbsp;No matter what the debate, they will never allow for the possibility there might be another viewpoint other than their own. &nbsp;With that said, do you REALLY think I was going to let this go without commenting? Where, oh where, to begin?<br />
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Yes, a few days ago, the patriarch of the 'Duck Dynasty' family, Phil Robertson, was quoted in an article with GQ Magazine. &nbsp;I want to state publicly before going forward, that I have never seen this show. &nbsp;Yes, I've heard about it and seen the merchandise, however I have yet to see the show. &nbsp;I know this is a deeply devout, religious family with strong Christian beliefs and morals. &nbsp;This is what I have heard, then read, of them. &nbsp;I did read Phil's statements about both homosexuality and blacks in his native Louisiana. &nbsp;In my humble opinion, Phil was not comparing homosexuality to bestiality. &nbsp;Perhaps I'm wrong (oh, like THAT would be a first!), but it seemed to me that he was listing sins as he understands and views them. &nbsp;He could've mentioned anything he considers sinful - let's say he mentioned homosexuals, then suggested we, "morph out from there to thieves, adulterers, etc." &nbsp;Would we be having the same conversation? &nbsp;Would we be in an uproar because he compared homosexuals to the man robbing a store at gunpoint or someone cheating on their spouse? &nbsp;Probably not. &nbsp;Bestiality might not have been the best choice to throw in as the next sin, however he (again, my opinion and interpretation) was merely listing sin, not comparing.<br />
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He also made comments about pre-civil rights blacks that he knew. &nbsp;His quote was,<br />
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person," Robertson is quoted in GQ. "Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field.... They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”</b><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Again, this is purely my opinion, however all I am reading are the words of a man stating what he saw during his life experience. &nbsp;He spent time with them. &nbsp;He worked the fields with them. &nbsp;I'll tell you right now, there are people I work with that, when asked about me, might tell you they never saw me unhappy or complaining about anything. &nbsp;Does that mean I don't? &nbsp;Does Phil not witnessing something mean it didn't happen or didn't exist? &nbsp;Not at all - he was merely telling the interviewer HE never saw it. &nbsp;I did not read anything in the article that said he thought blacks should be slaves, that he thought slavery was right, or that he hated homosexuals. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, I do believe (actually, I know it's there) he said we should love everyone - it's The Almighty's job to sort them out. &nbsp;So why the&nbsp;uproar&nbsp;and why has this made mainstream, everyday news? &nbsp;Because those asking for tolerance have become the intolerant. &nbsp;Because being politically-correct has become the expectation rather than common decency and courtesy, not to mention using common sense. &nbsp;There, I said it. &nbsp;Now, I'll expound on it.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Oh, and let me clear up one myth - this is NOT a First Amendment issue. &nbsp;Phil exercised his right to free speech. &nbsp;Free Speech, as noted in said amendment to the Constitution, merely says the government may not infringe upon that right. &nbsp;A&amp;E was purely within their rights to place Phil on hiatus. &nbsp;The question, though, is are there anti-discrimination laws that would protect him? &nbsp;Probably not. &nbsp;They cannot discriminate based on his religious beliefs, however they can terminate him if his views are something the network doesn't like. &nbsp;To me, it almost sounds like a very narrow line and I'm not sure where it gets drawn - that's for the courts to decide.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Now…back to my rant (the one you saw coming some time ago). &nbsp;First, I find it difficult to be politically-correct. &nbsp;Not because I don't want to, I just don't see the need. &nbsp;When people are NOT politically-correct, we tell them they must be tolerant or say their views are offensive. &nbsp;</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">No, I don't say, "the N-word, or the R-word," but at the rate we're going, you're going to have to fill me in on all the 'insert-letter-here' words. &nbsp;I can't say, "nigger," but it's okay if blacks do? &nbsp;I don't care if it's 'Nigger' or 'Nigga' - if it's not right for me to say it, it's not right. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;Let me get this straight - you won't accept me using derogatory terminology but YOU CAN?? For the record, I do NOT use that term and, when I did hear it many years ago, my parents taught me to ask, upon hearing it from someone else, if the person meant a 'white nigger or a black nigger'. &nbsp;They then told us that, should we feel the need, we could politely say, "I'm sorry but I find that offensive." &nbsp;If the person insisted on continuing to use the word, remove yourself from the situation. &nbsp;There needn't be conflict - just leave. &nbsp;Just like this situation - if you don't like what the man is saying or his beliefs, change the channel. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;All I am saying is respect is earned, not given. &nbsp;If you can't respect yourself enough to NOT say something derogatory, why should you be able to DEMAND that I don't? &nbsp;By the way, I also understand the offensiveness of the word, "Retard." &nbsp;Again, can we please be adults? &nbsp;If someone says it and you find it offensive, let them know, politely, and if it happens again, remove yourself from the situation. &nbsp;Is there really a reason to be hateful and despise a person for insensitivity? &nbsp;I've a better idea - try educating them. &nbsp;Whoa! &nbsp;What a novel idea, huh?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I don't say, "African-American," for several reasons. &nbsp;NONE of those reasons are because I don't like blacks or have friends that are black. &nbsp;No, it's because of what most of THEM say, most notably (at the height of the fervor) a black man in Richmond, VA that was a US Marine. &nbsp;He wrote to the Richmond Times-Dispatch and said he found the term offensive to him. &nbsp;He traced his family's roots and, going back 5 generations, could not find anyone that was from Africa. &nbsp;He was born in the United States and&nbsp;</span><b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">served proudly in the US Marine Corps.</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">&nbsp; He was not in any way associated with Africa, nor was his family. &nbsp;Yes, we all studied our history - we know they were brought over from Africa and sold as slaves. &nbsp;I never have, nor would ever, own a slave. &nbsp;This was our history, not our 'today'. &nbsp;My family came from different parts of the world, too, and we traced our roots back to Ireland and Greece. &nbsp;Why am I not referred to as an 'Irish-Grecian American'? &nbsp;You get the point, right? &nbsp;Ironically, most of you that are sitting there nodding, are in the majority. &nbsp;The people that feel we need to be tolerant and despise those that don't use their politically-correct terminology, are in the minority. &nbsp;Funny, though - most of us do it, not because we want to be politically-correct, but because it's easier than going against the system and it avoids conflict.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">The same applies to the homosexual comments Phil made, too. &nbsp;For years, ever since homosexuality has become more open ( remember the term, "coming out of the closet?"), we have been told we need to be more tolerant. &nbsp;Again, I have friends that are homosexual. &nbsp;Okay, if that's your choice, that's YOUR choice. &nbsp;Do I agree with it? &nbsp;Do I think it's right? &nbsp;Ha - like I'm going to bait myself into answering that. &nbsp;You see, I understand the backlash - it's a losing proposition no matter how you answer. &nbsp;It's a trick question. &nbsp;What is NOT a trick, though, is our tolerance. &nbsp;We (heterosexuals) have seen Gay Pride parades, the struggle for 'domestic partners' given the same rights as spouses, etc. &nbsp;Why, just recently, a gay friend of mine got married. &nbsp;Do I have a problem with it? &nbsp;No, because it is not my place to judge. &nbsp;When someone like Phil Robertson, though, openly makes statements about gays, blacks, etc, my question is this -&nbsp;</span><b style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Where is the tolerance from those demanding tolerance of us? &nbsp;</b><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Again, I am not agreeing or disagreeing with his comments - my problem is with the intolerance and hypocrisy. &nbsp;I saw a great quote regarding this earlier today in regard to the radical groups that beg…nay, demand….our tolerance. &nbsp;It was:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><b>"It's moved far along from these radical groups just asking for tolerance of their lifestyle. &nbsp;They now demand endorsement."</b></span></span></span><br />
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I find it difficult to do. &nbsp;I find it unbelievably offensive and hypocritical that groups that <b>demand</b>&nbsp;our acceptance and tolerance are, well, hypocrites. &nbsp;Lest I generalize, let me also say that many of them are NOT like that. &nbsp;I read many comments from blacks that said Phil Robertson's comments were merely stating his experiences. &nbsp;I saw many comments from gay people that were accepting of his right to say what he did and respected his beliefs. &nbsp;They might not agree, however they were showing that tolerance. &nbsp;The ones that bother me are the organized groups like the NAACP or GLAAD that have to use the media to create a bigger media circus and frenzy than is warranted. &nbsp;I simply don't understand. &nbsp;I mean, I turned on the television today and, turning to Bravo, immediately saw a gay Persian man in bed with his…male lover. &nbsp;I was subjected to 60 minutes of this show that openly showed a gay man. &nbsp;Sean Hayes openly plays one on NBC. &nbsp;Phil Robertson, however, cannot make a statement (in response to a question, by the way) stating he is against it because his beliefs and the Bible say it is wrong. &nbsp;Wait…WHAT??? &nbsp;People are going to make insensitive, irresponsible statements. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;I guarantee it, actually. <br />
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The actions will take place, too, that are slanted toward the demands for 'equality'…while being unequal. &nbsp;Don't believe me? &nbsp;Let's think Trayvon Martin. &nbsp;Then, let's think about the little white girl that was brutally attacked by three young black men and killed. &nbsp;Didn't see it on the news or listen, repeatedly, to how she was a good girl that did no wrong and didn't deserve it? &nbsp;Of course not. &nbsp;Sad &amp; tragic, yes. &nbsp;An opportunity to make a point on national television? &nbsp;Hardly. &nbsp;If the story had gone on the air, we would have had Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson screaming about how these boys were racially-profiled. &nbsp;Amazing how they show up to criticize a certain situation…..but only if the victims are black. &nbsp;I have yet to see their 'equality' organizations fight equally for anything.<br />
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So, I've gotten off the topic…kinda. &nbsp;I think it applies, though, as I am painting with a wide brush and these are, overall, part of a bigger picture. &nbsp;We ALL need to be tolerant and understanding. &nbsp;Start using common sense and decency. &nbsp;Be kind to one another. &nbsp;We don't (and won't) all think the same ever. &nbsp;All I am saying, though, is that if you demand I be tolerant of your sexual orientation, skin color and past injustices, or religious orientation even in the face of our country being attacked, then I deserve the same tolerance. &nbsp;Is that so difficult? &nbsp;We need to understand we don't have a lot of time here. &nbsp;Do what is right and just. &nbsp;Do what is fair. &nbsp;<b>Do nothing more than (and let's face it, it all comes down to one thing) respect and practice the 'Golden Rule' - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. </b>&nbsp;Quite honestly, doesn't everything come back to that? &nbsp;Why, I'm betting the Ten Commandments wouldn't even be necessary if we practiced that, eh?<br />
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Until next time…………be kind, gentle, and loving in this Christmas Season. &nbsp;Yes, Merry Christmas. &nbsp;Don't even get me started on THAT one………..<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><b><br /></b></span>Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-56145191217493996252013-11-28T07:13:00.002-08:002013-11-28T09:43:34.802-08:00Thanksgiving 2013 - A Rough Beginning, A Better EndingAs I sit here preparing to share Thanksgiving with my family, I have time alone and was reflecting on the year so far.&nbsp; 2013 began with such promise (don't they all?) as we watched the Swarovski crystal ball drop in Times Square on New Years' Eve.&nbsp; I was home in Alabama and in only a few days would be leaving&nbsp;for Florida to watch my beloved Crimson Tide compete for another BCS National Championship.&nbsp; I'd be going there with my daughter - one of the two important ladies in my life that shared my passion for Alabama football.&nbsp; My wife was unable to travel and sit that long as she was disabled, her body attacked by severe fibromyalgia.&nbsp; While nothing would have made her happier than to be in the stands, she was disappointed but still wanted me to go.&nbsp; Brittany and I went to the game and, as we all know (because I make no secret of sharing it constantly), Alabama spanked Notre Dame 42-14 to win consecutive crystal trophies.&nbsp; It was amazing....and something I wouldn't trade as an experience.&nbsp; It was only two short months later, though,&nbsp;that 2013 began to turn for the worse.&nbsp; In early March of this year, my wife passed away at home.&nbsp; It was sudden and unexpected.&nbsp; It was a time that, through the coming weeks and months,&nbsp;was the starting point for the year that seemed would never end.&nbsp;&nbsp;In the following weeks and months, it seemed the only news I got was of another friend or family member of friends passing away unexpectedly.&nbsp; Suffice it to say, I started to believe 13 is, in fact, a very unlucky number.<br />
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Over the past few weeks, I have seen many people on social media sites posting the reasons they are thankful.&nbsp; Some are doing it on a daily basis and numbering them - "Day One - I am thankful for my kids.&nbsp; Day Two - I am thankful for my job. Day Three - I am thankful for my friends," and so on and so on until they are finally reaching for things to be thankful for. "Day 26 - I am thankful for the wind and the grass and the....."&nbsp; You get the idea.&nbsp; Others are writing a long post about the reasons they are thankful.&nbsp; Some (SO annoying) are even writing a blog post.&nbsp; Wait...what?&nbsp; Yeah, yeah....please keep reading?&nbsp; So here I am&nbsp;reflecting on the reasons I am thankful and came to the amazing realization that my reasons are all....people.&nbsp; I mean, I'm thankful for many reasons but, ultimately, it all comes down to people.&nbsp; I know all of us have, at some point in time, been touched by the&nbsp;loss of a loved one.&nbsp; When it happens unexpectedly, we tend to look inward and reevaluate our lives, what we've done, are doing, and can do.&nbsp; We question how we want to be remembered and how we want to touch the lives of others.&nbsp; Been there, done that - believe me.&nbsp; One of the things I also came to terms with was how I treat people and how little, truly, the everyday things don't matter in the big scheme of things.&nbsp; If you think&nbsp;it really matters that your child broke&nbsp;your grandmother's vase, try to remember that, in about 60 or 70 years, it won't be&nbsp;such a big deal.&nbsp; It may be difficult at first, but trust me, you'll get over it.&nbsp; So, as is typical of my posts, you're starting to wonder where this is going.&nbsp; Well, I'm trying to say, "Thank you...and I am thankful for you."&nbsp; Never at a loss for words, I'm about to become more specific.&nbsp; In light of all that has transpired, it's important to me to say these things, you know...'just in case' I don't have the chance in the future.&nbsp; If I do, great.&nbsp; If not, they'll have been said...and THAT will make me feel better.&nbsp; So why am I thankful and who are these people?<br />
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First, to my family - my mother, grandmother, sisters, brother-in-law, step-mother and daughter - I am thankful for all of you first and foremost.&nbsp; There are also many cousins, aunts and uncles - I am thankful for you as well.&nbsp; My grandmother, who has battled breast cancer not once but twice, is the rock of our family.&nbsp; She did the 'single parent' thing long before it was as common as it is today.&nbsp; She helped raise us while mom was in college and then, after her graduation, my grandmother was always there for us.&nbsp; My mother, whom I have said repeatedly was a 'one woman show', was the lady that gave us our values and taught us about life.&nbsp; She worked hard to provide for us so that we had what we needed...and more.&nbsp; She is a brilliant woman with a sense of humor that showed us what it meant to be a friend and care for family.&nbsp; My sisters are both hard-working women that I love dearly, and I wouldn't trade the time I get to spend with either of them or their families.&nbsp; My brother-in-law is someone I rarely get to spend time with, as is my step-mother, yet they are both invaluable to me.&nbsp; They are both only ever a phone call away should I need anything.&nbsp; My daughter is the girl I am watching become a lady.&nbsp; She has a deep compassion for others and a sense of humor that is quick and unparalleled.&nbsp; I am amazed at her daily....and so incredibly grateful I get to share any and every part of her life.&nbsp; She is my lasting legacy and of that, I am proudest.&nbsp; I could not and would not be who I am today were it not for all of you.&nbsp; I love you, appreciate you, and I am proud of each of you.<br />
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Next, I am appreciative and thankful for my friends I have known for years.&nbsp; Those from 'the old days' that I grew up with, went to school with, shared families with.&nbsp; It's rare, I think, to have reached the age of (almost) 52 and to have friends that I can say I've been close to for 47 of those years.&nbsp; These are people that, to this day, will welcome me home when coming back to the town where I grew up, and sit for hours sharing meals and adult beverages talking about everything and nothing.&nbsp; We spent many hours together as kids and, though there are some that were only acquaintances during those years, I have gotten to know them 'again' and appreciate the people they've become and their lives.&nbsp;We are in the process of planning our 35th Class Reunion and the one recurring theme as we've planned has been, "We never really knew each other in high school, but now...".&nbsp; It's been fun getting to know and appreciate these people.&nbsp; They are all good people that have grown into their own lives, and sharing&nbsp;our collective stories has been amazing, interesting, and fun.&nbsp; How much better would it have been if we hadn't had the&nbsp;'cliques' that are inevitable when you're a teenager?&nbsp; I&nbsp;am thankful for all of you...and want to know and hear more.&nbsp;&nbsp;We need to get together more often.<br />
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I am also thankful for, and appreciative of, the people I have gotten to know through my job and profession.&nbsp; I've worked for only a few companies in my 28 years in the industry.&nbsp;&nbsp;10 years with the first company, 8 with the second, now 10 with my currrent employer.&nbsp; I&nbsp;remain friends with a select few that I met with the first company as we've watched our familes grow,&nbsp;watched as&nbsp;kids have gone off to college and gotten married and, sadly, have&nbsp;watched some die.&nbsp; I am thankful for these people because, though the years have passed, they have remained a constant and I know they will always be woven into the fabric of my life.&nbsp; They are part of me and whom I have become.&nbsp; Over these past 10 years I have met even more people,&nbsp;some who are now competitors,&nbsp;of whom I am thankful.&nbsp; When my wife passed away, I expected (as is standard) a flower arrangement or&nbsp;sympathy card from the company and&nbsp;my 'work family'.&nbsp; What I got instead was nothing short of absolutely amazing.&nbsp; To see people coming to support me from&nbsp;all corners of the country, literally, moved me in&nbsp;ways you can only imagine.&nbsp; These are the people with whom I spend more than 1/3 of my life now, and to know I can pick up the phone at any time and count them as friends, too, makes me incredibly thankful.&nbsp; They have been there in my darkest hours, as well as my best days...and without them, life would be much less enjoyable, fun, and&nbsp;amazing.&nbsp;&nbsp;To name all of the people that I am truly thankful for would entail listing names that would exceed what I've written so far.&nbsp; I thank you all and hope nothing but the best for you and your families always.<br />
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Lastly, I am thankful for the 'family' I have come to know in Alabama.&nbsp; My neighbors and close friends that were there, and remain so now, when things changed so very drastically.&nbsp; The people that supported me with their kind words and gestures, that take care of pets when I travel, that never hesitate to stop what they are doing to come say hello when we see each other.&nbsp; The people that are with us, too,&nbsp;in Tuscaloosa when we tailgate.&nbsp; It restores my faith in people to know there is still much good in the world, and to know these people is to love them.&nbsp; We read stories and see it on the news daily about the downward turn of society and how people care less than they did in years gone by.&nbsp; If these people are any indication, I can honestly say that 'southern hospitality' is alive and well, as is love kindness, caring, and compassion.&nbsp; They are truly amazing and I feel blessed, and am a better person, for knowing them.&nbsp;&nbsp;You are there for me daily and I am so very thankful for you all.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br />
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Shortly before finishing this, I got a note from my daughter.&nbsp; One of her high school classmates was killed in a car accident last evening.&nbsp;&nbsp;That news reiterates what I was saying - I cannot wait for this year to end.&nbsp; It brings echo to the sentiment we should all remember - <strong>"Tomorrow is promised to no one."</strong>&nbsp; If I have been remiss and not specifically named any group of friends, please know it is not intentional.&nbsp; It's because it is Thanksgiving morning, I'm getting old and the memory is shot, and there is cooking to be done.&nbsp; I'm supposed to be showering so I can help, as well as the fact that there is a parade on television.&nbsp; I've got to go and, if you're reading this, well.....I am thankful for that, too.&nbsp; Please know that, while I am still hoping this years ends quickly and on a better note, I am thankful for everyone in my life.&nbsp; While we are pulling for the beloved Crimson Tide to win an unprecedented third straight National Championship, remember...you people ROCK...and I am a better person, truly blessed,&nbsp;because of you.&nbsp; May you and your families have nothing but the best and, as you sit around the table this Thanksgiving day, take the time, if even only quietly and to yourself, to appreciate each and every person there with you.&nbsp; God Bless all of you...thank you again.<br />
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Until next time..........................<br />
<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-47516638983583784922013-07-16T08:42:00.001-07:002013-07-16T08:42:39.371-07:00Why Racial Inequality Will Not End SoonAs much as I've said in the past that we've come a long way toward ending racial inequality, I realize now just how far the pendulum has swung...the other way. &nbsp;Does this still exist? &nbsp;Absolutely. &nbsp;Who bears the brunt, though, of this inequality? &nbsp;I'd say whites, though that simply won't be a widely-accepted opinion. &nbsp;How can it be denied, though? &nbsp;How can anyone, anywhere view the events of the past few days and think that whites aren't the ones that are on the outside looking in? &nbsp;In a day and time when Paula Deen is almost crucified for, "using the 'N' word," as they say in politically-correct circles, I am amazed at the audacity of some people and what they can get away with saying on national TV. &nbsp;After George Zimmerman was acquitted of murdering Trayvon Martin (a juror, by the way, said they did NOT feel this was about race), I watched as two black men were interviewed on The Today Show. &nbsp;The same people that want to tell us how racial tensions need to end and how we need to have "The Conversation' about the race relations, said some pretty damning things. &nbsp;Dare I say, too, that this so-called conversation (based on what we've experienced so far) would probably amount to not much more than a list of demands and how we should further cater to the minorities. &nbsp;Whatever happened to, "All men are created equal?" &nbsp;I don't mind equality. &nbsp;What I mind is people telling me how I have to give so others can get. &nbsp;When there are people in a position to initiate the conversation, though, and they say the things they did, I submit that we will not get where we need to be very quickly. &nbsp;Case in point, and what I heard - here are the comments from the black men that so desperately want "Equality":<br />
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<b>"Black life means a little bit less than white life in America."</b><br />
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</b> <b>"With an almost all-white jury, you'll almost never get justice in that case, especially in the South."</b><br />
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</b> <b>"All black men feel vulnerable because we are all racially-profiled."</b><br />
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</b> <b>"When we have Stand Your Ground laws and a gun culture that allows us to be vigilantes and a court system where we are over-arrested, over-prosecuted, over-convicted, and over-sentenced as black people, then we can't have the conversation about race."</b><br />
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Read those again if you're not fuming and angry about it. &nbsp;You see, that's what this does to us. &nbsp;I truly try to be color-blind, however when you have educated black men saying these things on national television, they're giving other blacks permission to act any way they deem fit. &nbsp;IT IS NOT OKAY! &nbsp;You want to have 'The Conversation'? &nbsp;Okay, but let's remember a few things first:<br />
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No one I know has ever owned a slave. &nbsp;Please stop screaming about past injustices in which none of us were involved. &nbsp;I understand that you'd like reparations for the 'sins of our fathers'. &nbsp;While I won't stroke a check and hand it to you directly, I think it safe to say that we are doing our part by working so many can have government services provided at no charge. &nbsp;Again, I've dealt with the mentality of (yes, I know it is a stereotype, however I saw it firsthand) a black woman that had four kids and was pregnant with a fifth because, "The government pays me more if I have more kids." &nbsp;Direct quote. &nbsp;You want to end the stereotype? &nbsp;Stop the behavior. &nbsp;Let's also take a look at the Evening News. &nbsp;There are far more crimes and acts of violence with complete disregard for others committed by blacks, statistically speaking. &nbsp;When this is mentioned, there are multitudes of reasons - he came from a broken home, couldn't get out of the ghetto, had no role model, lived in a society of drugs, etc, etc. &nbsp;They're called excuses. &nbsp;When you see a black President, don't tell me there's inequality. &nbsp;It's about doing for yourself rather than expecting someone to do it for you.<br />
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I saw a sign that read, "It's not a crime to be black." &nbsp;Certainly not and I couldn't agree more. &nbsp;When you use that, though, as justification to demonstrate, cause violence, beat others based on the color of THEIR skin, how does that make you any better? &nbsp;I read a few comments following the story about the rioting folks in Los Angeles, and one person asked a great question - "What happened when OJ was acquitted?" &nbsp;Hmm.....interesting thought. &nbsp;I don't recall any whites rioting, burning buildings, throwing rocks through business windows, or beating random black people on the streets. &nbsp;If we had, what then? &nbsp;Do you think the police would have allowed that behavior? &nbsp;Not at all. &nbsp;In fact, I'd say the whites would have been treated rather harshly immediately. &nbsp;With the blacks (or other minorities), however, we have to be sure we don't step on their civil rights lest Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson arrive on the scene. &nbsp;I heard Al Sharpton say, "Trayvon Martin had a civil right to go home." &nbsp;Well, yeah, he did. &nbsp;Let's remember, too, that HE initiated the physical altercation with George Zimmerman. &nbsp;As they stood facing each other, the kid sucker-punched him and it went from there. &nbsp;Tragically, one person lay dead. Yes, it was tragic, but what if they had both looked at each other and said, "Look, I'm just going home." &nbsp;I don't think george Zimmerman would have pulled his gun and fired. &nbsp;Call me crazy, but I believe he pulled the gun when he was in fear for his life. &nbsp;I can also tell you I would have feared for my life, too. &nbsp;I hope I am never in that position, but I do empathize a bit. &nbsp;Still, it was a tragedy that could have been avoided...by BOTH parties. &nbsp;To say, though, that this was a violation of just Trayvon Martin's rights is ludicrous. &nbsp;That argument can be made for both of them.<br />
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Equal means just that, folks - equal. &nbsp;The same for everyone. &nbsp;I submit to you that things are NOT the same for everyone at this point. &nbsp;I don't like it - not for me, but for future generations. &nbsp;Where are we headed when we cannot get the masses to even agree on what equality is? &nbsp;I'm not sure, however I know I'm glad I'm on the 'other side of the hill' at this point. &nbsp;Things need to change...on that, we can all agree. It's how we get there that will determine the extent of that change.....IF it comes.<br />
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Until next time...........Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-13667272202979883632013-06-26T20:42:00.003-07:002013-06-26T20:42:25.899-07:00When Do We All Get Held To The Same Standard?I've written on this same type of subject a few times, however Paula Deen has brought it to the forefront again. &nbsp;For anyone asleep this past week, Paula Deen was accused of, and has admitted to, using the "N-Word." &nbsp;She did it six years ago when describing to someone what she wanted for her brother's wedding. &nbsp;She also admitted to using it, I think, in a situation a little over 30 years ago. &nbsp;I'm not going into specifics of what she said, however she admitted to it when legal action was brought by a former employee. &nbsp;Now, in light of this, she has been dropped by the Food Network, Wal-Mart has ended their relationship with her, and (I believe) Caesar's has also terminated her.<br />
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Do I believe using this word is wrong? &nbsp;Of course, I do. &nbsp;In an interview with Paula Deen this morning on the Today Show, Matt Lauer asked, "Don't you know this is the most offensive term for African-Americans?" &nbsp;Well, yeah, Matt....we all know this, HOWEVER - I have always explained to my kids that, while using the word is wrong, it isn't only used to refer to blacks. &nbsp;As an aside...while I do find that specific word to be offensive, I refuse to be politically correct. &nbsp;I will not use the term 'African-American' because I have friends (that are 'people of color') that have said they are black. &nbsp;They have done their own research and gone back generations, yet still cannot find ancestors from Africa. &nbsp;One gentleman, a US Marine, went so far as to state, "I am an American. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;I also happen to be black." &nbsp;I like it...but I digress. &nbsp;So yes, Matt, we know the word is offensive.....isn't it? &nbsp;Wait, I'm supposed to know that saying that word, the horrific, dreaded, anger-inducing N-word is WRONG? &nbsp;How, exactly, am I to know that? &nbsp;I suppose I should know it when, if used, a black person will politely tell the offender, "Pardon me, but I find the use of that word to be repulsive and morally reprehensible." &nbsp;Okay, I'll buy that. &nbsp;The problem is, I've heard the music of rappers and other certain blacks. &nbsp;I've heard them speaking to each other on the street. &nbsp;So what I'm to glean from this is, it's only a bad word when a white person uses it? &nbsp;It's okay for a black to use it, but not whites? &nbsp;Okay, I'm learning. &nbsp;Sadly, I thought the rules applied to all of us when it came to something as repulsive as this. &nbsp;Let's be serious, folks, either it is or it isn't - there is NO GREY AREA on this one. &nbsp;Trouble is, no one has the nerve to stand up and say so because you'll be labeled a racist. &nbsp;Personally, I cannot accept the double standard.<br />
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I'm also finding it difficult to agree with the corporations that, in situations such as this, distance themselves from people who have added a bit to their bottom line. &nbsp;Wal-Mart has the audacity to drop Paula Deen because of something she said six years ago? &nbsp;Wal-Mart? &nbsp;Don't I recall a few short years ago when they faced their own troubles because workers brought suit against them? &nbsp;Here's a quick news flash - dropping Paula Deen is not going to change anyone's perception of your corporation outside the most extreme individuals. &nbsp;It just won't. &nbsp;John Q Public, Mr Everyman (or woman) has a brain and will not be swayed by your termination of your relationship with Paula Deen. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, some of these companies might want to be careful - I've read quite a few comments of folks that will now boycott their stores because they HAVE dropped her. &nbsp;The people, in many cases, are supporting Paula - both blacks and whites. &nbsp;Her cruises, as a matter of fact, have doubled in reservations since this has happened. &nbsp;Again, we have brains - any action taken for something she said years ago, right or wrong, is not going to make any of us say, "Well, they kept Paula Deen after she made a racist comment. &nbsp;That must mean they are racist, too." &nbsp;We're a bit more intelligent than that and, in my opinion, you look hypocritical when taking certain actions based on your company's history.<br />
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Lastly, Paula made a comment this morning that I immediately revert to in a situation such as this. &nbsp;Show of hands - who has NOT made an insulting comment at some point? &nbsp;Whether it be an offensive joke, a racial slur, joking about riding 'the short bus', or others, I want to meet the person that hasn't done it. &nbsp;I'm not saying people are running around every day making these comments, nor do I think Paula Deen makes this a habit. &nbsp;I think most, if not all of us, have done it at one point in our lives. &nbsp;This does not qualify you, in my opinion, as a racist, either. &nbsp;A racist, to me, is a white supremacist. &nbsp;A racist, to me, are the blacks that want to see an end to whites forever. &nbsp;These are racists. &nbsp;Calling Paula Deen, or anyone that has made an inappropriate comment, a racist (or worse) is just not fair nor is it true. &nbsp;Lest you think I am a Paula Deen fan, I'm not. &nbsp;I think if I ate her cooking, I'd be the size of a house and, though I live in the south, think her southern accent is WAY over the top. &nbsp;My point, though, is that she is no more a racist for using that term one time six years ago than I am a race car driver because I got caught speeding. &nbsp;Yeah, I'm reaching on that analogy, but you get my point. <br />
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As I said initially, we know it's wrong to use the word because somewhere along the line someone said they found it offensive and it has a very negative connotation. &nbsp;My parents taught me that. &nbsp;I didn't need the courts to tell me. &nbsp;I do know, though, that I have yet to see a court case where a white person was able to sue someone of color, a black, for calling them 'cracker', 'honky', or....what else do they call us? &nbsp;Again, you get my point - I want standards and equal to mean just that - EQUAL. &nbsp;I'm not going to use the N-word and neither (I don't think) are many of you. &nbsp;The system is not equal, though, when whites are held to a higher standard than others. &nbsp;Again, living in the south, I know the Civil Rights movement isn't over, but it is damn sure close. &nbsp;Think back, my friends, to a time when we were growing up. &nbsp;It was just a few weeks ago that the 50th anniversary of Gov George Wallace standing in a doorway blocking the entry of blacks to the university was recognized in Tuscaloosa, AL. &nbsp;Now, when entering the mall, a doctor's office, a restaurant, or a convenience store, I will often hold the door for a black man or woman and think how, in our lifetime, we HAVE recognized equal rights. &nbsp;We've come quite a distance.<br />
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Do I think Paula Deen should have apologized for what she said? &nbsp;Absolutely. &nbsp;Do I think we've already taken this too far and cost the woman much of what she built on an unfair basis? &nbsp;Absolutely. &nbsp;Let's move on. &nbsp;In a few weeks this will be 'old news', yet will have had an indelible lasting impact on her life forever. &nbsp;If you disagree with me, try.....for just one minute...to put yourself in her shoes. &nbsp;Remember, we all agreed none of us are able to 'cast the first stone'. &nbsp;Think back to something you said 5 years ago. &nbsp;Would you want the good things you've done every day to hinge on a single comment? &nbsp;I can tell you from firsthand experience, life is far too short for us to live in that fear. &nbsp;I'm going to digress for a second, as well as wrap this up - I was listening to an English comedian the other day, Eddie Izzard, and he made the comment that he is agnostic. &nbsp;He was talking about the 10 Commandments and how we really didn't need them. &nbsp;He thought that the one rule sort of summed it up and covered anything and everything else. &nbsp;Ready for it? &nbsp;It isn't rocket science - The Golden Rule. &nbsp;Treat others as you wish to be treated. &nbsp;As he said, I think that kinda sums it up and, should we choose to live that way, we'd be fine. &nbsp;Be kind to each other. &nbsp;Is it really that hard? &nbsp;Times like this, I think we, as a world (not just nation) need to examine how we act. &nbsp;Stories like this, then, would be a thing of the past.<br />
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Until next time................<br />
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<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-47392277850431435432013-06-16T10:47:00.000-07:002013-06-16T10:47:00.666-07:00We Get A Day, Too...and Our Band-Aids Were DirtOkay, so at least give me some points for creativity with titles. &nbsp;I thought a great deal about the differences between mothers and fathers and yes, that was the first thing I came up with. &nbsp;While many of us, as kids, ran to mom when we fell and scraped a knee or cut ourselves, they'd provide a bandage. &nbsp;While it is a generalization about dads, a lot of the, "Rub some dirt on it," comments are true. &nbsp;Let's face it - while moms bandaged us, dads were busy telling us to "Get back on the horse," or, "Walk it off." &nbsp;We did...and life went on. &nbsp;The entire thought process took me to the differences between our parents and how they are both so very deserving of their respective days. &nbsp;I've heard, too, that the best writings and stories come when people are open and honest about their lives. &nbsp;After the initial start to this year, I have neither hesitation nor concern about sharing anything of who I am and what led me here. &nbsp;Nope...no tangent - this all plays into the story.<br />
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I have been blessed/cursed with three fathers in my life. &nbsp;Before you start thinking this stems from an episode of Maury, it was simply a matter of life beginning in the 70's. &nbsp;Divorce, and consequent remarriage, is now more natural than it was prior to that. &nbsp;That's how I ended up with my personal set of fathers. &nbsp;I've learned from them all, both positive and negative...and hopefully (and I think they'd agree), I have taken the negative experiences we might have had and turned them into learning life-lessons with positive outcomes for myself and my kids.<br />
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My biological father was only in my life, initially, for the first seven years. &nbsp;He and my mother divorced, he remarried, then later moved out of state. &nbsp;I wasn't to see him again for 15 years, with the exception of a couple of times over that span for the deaths of family members. &nbsp;I remember his MG Midget and going to SCCA autocross events with him. &nbsp;Perhaps the love of driving, in a not-always-so-slow fashion was ingrained in me at this early age. &nbsp;I remember, too, how he'd take me along with him, on occasion, to work at the family's dairy. &nbsp;For you youngsters, milk wasn't always in plastic containers at the supermarket or 7-11. &nbsp;They used to deliver it to your door and place it....wow, we're getting off this part. &nbsp;It's irrelevant and making me feel WAY too old. &nbsp;Anyway, we spent time together that must have made an impression because I remember it to this day. &nbsp;For the earlier years, I have photographic evidence that he and mom were happy, yet married too young to have a lasting relationship confined in close quarters. &nbsp;As I said, they toughed it out for seven years. &nbsp;In my later years, it was I who 'forced' a relationship on him. &nbsp;I say forced because I believe he thought too many years had passed to have any type of relationship with me. &nbsp;I, being my usual 'won't-take-no-for-an-answer' self, went to visit. &nbsp;It was then that I could go to him for advice when I chose sales as a profession and golf as a hobby. &nbsp;Nothing made him prouder, I don't think, than knowing I have a great career in sales and could, with unquestioned regularity, beat him on the golf course.<br />
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Mom got remarried several years later and her husband, our step-father, wanted to adopt my sister and I. &nbsp;It meant we'd have the same last name as both parents which, in the early 70's was still common. &nbsp;It was having a different last name that required explanation, though I spent many years (and still do) answering the, "Oh, you're John's son," questions. &nbsp;The easy answer was always in the affirmative - thank you mom for marrying two men with the same name. &nbsp;Piece of cake. &nbsp;Anyway, I had a father figure that was there for some important milestones - learning to play baseball, buying my first car, graduating high school and college. &nbsp;Honestly, it was he that reminded me of the dirt-rubbing, get back on the horse-type thoughts. &nbsp;Vivid memories of standing in the back yard trying to become a better baseball player and he, only 16 years older than I (something for which to be commended alone), throwing the ball harder and harder to ensure I wouldn't be afraid to get in front of the ball. &nbsp;Everything was going splendidly until.....fastball right at me. &nbsp;I brought the glove down a fraction of a second too soon and the ball glanced off the pocket and webbing, landing squarely on.....my forehead. &nbsp;Literally knocked me on my ass. &nbsp;Hard and fast. &nbsp;I'm laughing as I write this, but he says to this day it sounded like the crack of a wooden bat and I crumpled like a rag doll. &nbsp;Many of you that know me are now sitting there saying, "Ohhh....that explains so much!" &nbsp;There was no permanent damage.....of which we are aware. Aware. Aware. &nbsp; &nbsp;Okay, maybe a little. &nbsp;Seriously, though, my dad taught me a lot about respect for elders, when to speak in social situations, and discipline. &nbsp;A LOT about discipline. &nbsp;Don't get me wrong, I did my part, too. &nbsp;I mean, you can't dole out discipline unless someone is screwing things up. &nbsp;Enter....ME! &nbsp;In all fairness, it is a Yin-Yang thing. &nbsp;Can't have one without the other, right? &nbsp;I remember, too, dad coming to school while I was in college and hanging out for a weekend or two. &nbsp;Our relationship had evolved.<br />
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In the late 80's however, this marriage ended and mom was content to be single....somewhat. &nbsp;I'm firmly convinced, too, she would be to this day had it not been for Bob. &nbsp;She met what would be our...what do you call them - step-step-father? &nbsp;Step-father once removed? &nbsp;Hell, we just called him Bob, yet he was as much a father, and more so a grandfather, as the others. &nbsp;He was a devout family man and, most importantly in that time in the life of my sister and I, he loved our mother. &nbsp;He had children of his own, yet accepted us as no different. &nbsp;We got to see he and mom more routinely than his own children, so it was only natural that he take that role in our lives, though he certainly did not have to. &nbsp;He was there for our weddings, offered wisdom that was beyond measure, and was always good for an argument. &nbsp;Please understand - when I say that, I mean argue as a lawyer argues a case. &nbsp;Perhaps a better word would be debate. &nbsp;What I learned most from Bob, though, was unconditional love and patience. &nbsp;As I said, he might be in a heated discussion with you while debating a point, yet was always the most kind, caring, gentle person. &nbsp;When I married and had a step-son, he enjoyed taking him in the surf at the beach to teach him to fish. &nbsp;When my daughter was born, he cradled her in a hammock for hours. &nbsp;He was a gentle giant that would give you anything he could - mostly, in the form of stellar advice - to see that your life was headed in the 'right' direction. <br />
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So there you have it. &nbsp;A glimpse into the three mean I typically called on this day, Father's Day. &nbsp;it was a call I actually enjoyed making to all of them. &nbsp;Then, three years ago, Bob was diagnosed with lung cancer. &nbsp;On a particular visit to the hospital in April, he was admitted unexpectedly. &nbsp;My wife and I went to visit at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. &nbsp;While I worked from my mother's home, my wife stayed with Bob and mom at the hospital daily. &nbsp;I was thankful for my wife, as I am certain my mother was, as she held his hand and comforted my mother until he died a few days later. &nbsp;A short four months later, while headed home from a sales meeting in Washington, DC, we happened to stop our motorcycles on the Blue Ridge Parkway for a rest. &nbsp;My phone rang.....and I got the news that my biological father had passed away earlier that morning unexpectedly. &nbsp;Four months and one day apart, I had lost two very important influences in my life. <br />
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As I said in the beginning of this post, it hasn't been a stellar year so far concerning people I love and care about. &nbsp;As many struggle with the rhyme or reason to why these things happen, I am only plagued with more questions. &nbsp;A few short weeks ago, a good friend and coworker went into the hospital for a surgery that is considered almost routine at this point. &nbsp;True, it was a cardiac valve replacement but, as he and I discussed, they do these every day and, while I don't believe there is ever any 'minor' surgery, I knew he'd be fine. &nbsp;I was wrong. &nbsp;A day after his surgery, he passed away at the age of 55. &nbsp;He left a loving wife and two sons that will no longer be able to make the call I so desperately wish I could make today, too. &nbsp;We cannot, but hopefully many of you can.<br />
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I'm simply saying this - many of us (okay, MOST of us) ran to our mothers when we were kids and either needed something or were hurt. &nbsp;Let's face it, no matter how many times the cameras pan the sidelines of a football game, I have yet to see a player turn to the camera and thank the dude that taught him to throw the football, how to tackle, or how to pick up the cheerleader after the game. &nbsp;What do they say? &nbsp;"Hi, Mom!" &nbsp;Guilty as charged. &nbsp;Not the football player part, the 'running to mom' part. &nbsp;I already did a post on moms, though, and wanted you to realize, as I have, that dad isn't always going to be there. &nbsp;None of us are always going to be there, but today might be a good time to remember that, while mom was bandaging that cut or helping ease the broken heart when the cheerleader (or football player) dumped you, dad was probably at work making sure you'd have money for the mortgage or the camp or any vacations he made you sure you experienced. &nbsp;Many dads can appear to be 'asleep at the wheel' during certain periods in your life - trust me, we're trying to think about how to make your lives better and easier, while planning any way we can to protect you as much as possible. &nbsp;If you don't believe that, think about how many single moms there are and how we applaud their undying efforts. &nbsp;Now, think about the dads doing the same thing. &nbsp;There are many men that have never, nor will ever, shirk the responsibilities of having children. &nbsp;They are raising their children alone, too, and deserve equal applause, along with the fathers that make sure their child support is never late. &nbsp;We're fathers - a title we don't take lightly...and love every day.<br />
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I'd do anything to be able to give my dads a hug and a kiss again, to tell them I love them, to play one last round of golf with them. &nbsp;I'd give anything to have one last conversation with them. &nbsp;Please tell me, if dad is alive, you'll make the time today to make dad the SOLE priority when you see him or speak to him. &nbsp;Treat this as what might be your last chance to say, "Happy Father's Day, Dad." &nbsp;If it's not, what have you lost? &nbsp;Lucky you, you get to do it again next year. &nbsp;I don't...but it doesn't mean I'm going to stop reminding you.<br />
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Happy Father's Day, Pop.....thank you and I love you.<br />
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Until next time............Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-27556025540689353122013-05-12T08:30:00.001-07:002013-05-12T08:30:22.031-07:00One Day Almost Seems Not Enough...There are probably many men, at this point, asking what I'm thinking. &nbsp;Truth be told, they're secretly agreeing with me. &nbsp;One day for moms is not enough. &nbsp;I've had the chance, over several weeks, to reevaluate what you women do for us. &nbsp;When I say 'Us', I am referring not only to your children, but we, the fathers, that double as your additional child. &nbsp;I am...I think we all, after proper reflection, would be...amazed. <br />
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I watch my mother, retired and living alone, take the time to call me almost daily since the loss of my wife. &nbsp;She also takes the time to be with her own mother (another amazing woman) who still lives alone at the age of 86. &nbsp;My grandmother, herself, is a two-time breast cancer survivor that has taught all of us life lessons with her unstoppable spirit and determination. &nbsp;She continues to cook for us when we are home, and makes sure we are all 'properly taken care of'. &nbsp;Neither of these ladies ever takes the time to stop, consider what they do for everyone else, and ask, "When is it my turn?" &nbsp;They simply continue to do. &nbsp;My mother has been doing it since we were born. &nbsp;I watched, and learned from, her determination to make sure we had everything we needed, many things we wanted, and the life lessons and discipline to become proper adults. &nbsp;She would discipline as needed...and love unconditionally. &nbsp;Honestly, she helped us become the people we are today which, I believe, is a true measure of her success.<br />
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It doesn't stop there, though. &nbsp;I watch many of you women do the same every day. &nbsp;Single mothers who have to work multiple jobs to provide a home for their children, while making sure they have everything they need in the form of love, discipline, and kindness - those very life lessons I mentioned earlier. &nbsp;I watch the mother of a special-needs child who never asks why this happened to her but, rather, speaks of how precious their child is. &nbsp;Those children, to you amazing mothers, are truly special, and the love you show them helps change ideas and attitudes the world over. &nbsp;I've seen people use words on social media that will turn a calm, cool, collected mother into a raging Wonder Woman that will protect their child at ALL costs - as it should be. &nbsp;While we still consider the notion that a father is the 'Protector' of the household and family, there are many that might challenge that with a mere observation. &nbsp;Behind many a protecting father, I think, is a mother waiting to tear people apart lest they mess with their family unit. &nbsp;I like it - you wear it well, ladies. &nbsp;Very well.<br />
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I have a 17-year old daughter that many have heard me speak of, especially recently. &nbsp;She has become an amazing woman and support for me. &nbsp;She shows love, caring, kindness, and empathy toward others. &nbsp;These are remarkable traits and I am extremely proud of her. &nbsp;When I do mention her, many friends have said, "She learns what she's taught. &nbsp;You did well." &nbsp;While I'd like to take some credit for that, I truly feel I am entitled to only a small part of said credit. &nbsp;She lives 700 miles away and, though we did the 'every other weekend' thing often in the first few years, she grew up and got a social life of her own. &nbsp;We are close, true, however we don't see each other anywhere nearly as often as I'd like. &nbsp;My point being, the 'credit' for her upbringing falls much to her mother, my ex-wife. &nbsp;I'm honest enough with myself (and all of you) to say her mother did much of the 'heavy lifting' when it came to Britt. &nbsp;She has provided her with good morals, good habits. discipline, and a life that she loves. &nbsp;Her mother has done an amazing job and I wish her a Happy Mother's Day, too...as well as my eternal thanks and gratitude.<br />
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You cook, clean, do our laundry, bandage the cuts and kiss the bruises. &nbsp;You provide comfort when it's needed, as well as the dreaded 'kick in the pants', too, when we are being fools and aren't motivated. &nbsp;You are the security we need in an insecure, unsure world. &nbsp;I have to say, too, that there are many single fathers that deserve recognition today. &nbsp;I cannot imagine it, yet you do it without question or hesitation. &nbsp;I know why. &nbsp;It's the same reason I would drive 700 miles to spend 1 1/2 days with my daughter. &nbsp;They're your kids. &nbsp;It's as simple and pure as that.<br />
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As I mentioned earlier, when my wife passed away a few weeks ago, the first person to arrive was my mother. &nbsp;We had a day before anyone else arrived and it afforded me the opportunity to tell her, one-on-one, what I had wanted to share for so long. &nbsp;I wanted to thank her, personally, for raising us to be the people we've become and to let her know that the sacrifices she made, both of her time and freedom, were not without appreciation. &nbsp;Today might be a good day for everyone to really do that. &nbsp;I can attest to the fact that your mother might not be here next year. &nbsp;I'm a big proponent of saying things NOW - as I tell my daughter often, I want you to be able to say, "I'm glad I did, rather than I wish I had." &nbsp;Take the time today. &nbsp;Tell mom how awesome and amazing she is. &nbsp;Honestly, I may have never met your mother...but I know she is.<br />
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I love you, Mom.<br />
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY - to all you wonderful moms.<br />
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Until next time..............Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-18573706605964982842013-03-23T13:28:00.000-07:002013-03-23T13:28:07.791-07:00I Won't Wear Black...and Where We Go From HereInteresting title, huh? Yeah, I thought so, too. &nbsp;You didn't? &nbsp;Too bad - you're already reading, so why not keep going? &nbsp;C'mon...you're already trying to figure out where I'm going with this. &nbsp;Here's the thing - I don't know what a requisite period of mourning should be. &nbsp;I don't mean that to sound callous, but I'm new at this. &nbsp;Understand one thing, though - I will not dwell. &nbsp;That's the point of me saying, "I won't wear black." &nbsp;I actually fancy (oh, yeah, I said 'fancy') that shade in clothes so, while you will see me in black, it's because it makes me look taller. &nbsp;Maybe not, but work with me here. <br />
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Already, I am walking around trying to figure things out. &nbsp;Not so much the 'why's' but, rather, the 'what the hell do I do now' types of questions. &nbsp;Regardless, the title of this post was meant to be a signal to myself and a direction of purpose. &nbsp;When things like this happen, we have choices. &nbsp;We <b>always</b>&nbsp;have choices. &nbsp;It's what we do with those choices that signals to the world what we truly are as individuals and the fiber of which we are made. &nbsp;Again, I'm new at this so I'm not sure if there is a proper way to act. &nbsp;No one, so far, has handed me the <b>"Widows/Widowers for Dummies" </b>manual. &nbsp;In its' absence, apparently, we all guess...and lean on others for guidance. &nbsp;I bring this up because, though it was less than two weeks ago that it happened, I ventured out of the house and back to work earlier this week. &nbsp;True, it was only for a few days, however work took me to a convention in Atlanta. &nbsp;I wanted, and more importantly needed, to be there. &nbsp;I did not go for the sympathy hugs and handshakes that I new would come. &nbsp;I did not go so I could share my pain with others. &nbsp;I went, quite honestly, because I needed some normalcy. &nbsp;I heard from a friend late last evening that a few people said they could not believe I was there. &nbsp;I suppose they thought I was being cold or heartless or that I did not care or was not affected by all that has transpired. &nbsp;Though I do not feel the need to explain to anyone, I will...because I <b>choose to.</b>&nbsp; There it is again - a choice. &nbsp;Being around the people that I see annually at this convention provided me a sense of normalcy which, truth be told, will have to come eventually anyway. &nbsp;Gee, folks, I wasn't there to find another wife or another woman. &nbsp;I was there to be around normal which, knowing some of my friends, is the last thing they'd be called. &nbsp;It's a relative term, though, so I'm using it. &nbsp;They're MY normal....and it did me wonders. &nbsp;Being there allowed me to laugh again, find my voice again, and work again. &nbsp;These things are important to me as I'm certain they are to you. &nbsp;I spoke of my grief and pain when asked, as well as gave advice on preparing when it came up in conversation. &nbsp;If you haven't read the previous post, what are you waiting for? &nbsp;It's what I have to offer.<br />
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So where do we go from here? &nbsp;I use a collective, "We," because I've come to realize that, no matter how we think of it, we're not on our journeys alone. &nbsp;We all have friends that are along for our ride, as we are theirs. &nbsp;Personally, I've already come to a few 'truths' that will make every day better. &nbsp;Things like...the love of a family and an incredible bond with your parents, children, and siblings can make you feel as if you can conquer the world, and that you are truly unstoppable. &nbsp;You'll make it through anything because they are simply there. &nbsp;I've come to realize the incredible power of a simple text message from (and to) my daughter, as well as my sisters. &nbsp;I realize that true friends leave an indelible mark on our souls that changes who we become - we are now the sum of all those parts....and it is amazing. &nbsp;I realize that the power of laughter can cure much...and that tears don't always have to be for sorrow. &nbsp;Yes, I knew that before, but some people made me laugh to the point of tears this weekend...and it felt great. &nbsp;I realize that someone whispering in your ear, telling you, "Things are going to be okay," and, "I'm here for you," makes you gain strength and recover a little as you find yourself again. &nbsp;I realize that people are inherently good...and they care. &nbsp;I know I've said it before, but will continue to do so for as long as I have a voice - I am grateful and appreciative of my friends. &nbsp;I've known some, literally, all my life, while others I've only known for a few months. &nbsp;I value and cherish them all. &nbsp;They are where I will get the strength to, as I said before, end the chapter and start a new one.<br />
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Lastly, I've come to understand the value and power of love and the many forms it takes. &nbsp;Whether it's from family or friends, it's important and, as I said earlier, all we have. &nbsp;None of us will be getting out of here alive - we all know the two unavoidable things are death and taxes, right? &nbsp;So what do we do with that? &nbsp;I say we try to make a difference. &nbsp;A difference in our lives, the lives of others, and in the world. &nbsp;We'll be leaving people behind, so why not make it a better place? &nbsp;At the risk of sounding like Miss America hoping for 'World Peace', or doing a Rodney King impersonation and asking, "Can't we all just get along?", I dare say we can do right by others at very little cost to ourselves. &nbsp;In the end, it's the best we have. &nbsp;As I sit here writing this, there was a knock on my front door. &nbsp;When I received the package and opened it, I thought how appropriate and fitting with what I am writing. &nbsp;It was from yet another dear, sweet, thoughtful friend that I love and adore. &nbsp;She sent a plant - it's name is the <b>Red Rose of Sharon Hibiscus</b>&nbsp;- in honor of Sharon's love for red roses. &nbsp;How incredible and amazing. &nbsp;Are you understanding the point of all this? &nbsp;It took very little, yet made such an impact! &nbsp;I was, and am, moved beyond words.<br />
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I've said before that my beliefs lead me to try and understand the lesson from all of this. &nbsp;As I sat pondering this again the other evening, a familiar quote I've always liked from one of our favorite series, <b>The West Wing</b>, came to mind. &nbsp;It was a simple story being related:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."</b></span><br />
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I know that, when a friend experiences this very same thing (as we all surely will), I want to be the one that jumps in the hole. &nbsp;I will state with certainty that I have, in fact, been there.....and know the way out. &nbsp;Many of you have given me much to think about recently. &nbsp;As I said, new chapter - not the end of a book by any means. &nbsp;I will look back, eventually, at the previous chapters with fondness and love, knowing they shaped who I have become today. &nbsp;Think about that as you're going through the day-to-day. &nbsp;Learn to live in, and be keenly aware of, the moment. &nbsp;As I sit here now, I have images that I recall from the 'good times' we all experience...and I am smiling. &nbsp;There's much to be done and I will figure it out. &nbsp;No, I'm not becoming philosophical (well, any more than usual), but want each of you to take the time that I know I will surely embrace as I experience everything from this point forward. &nbsp;As my daughter pointed out to me in a text message earlier - <b>Dad, I just wanted to let you know that if anything ever happened to either of us, that I love you and you're the best dad in the whole entire world. &nbsp;Life's too short not to tell the people you love that you appreciate everything they do for you, so thank you. &nbsp;People could be gone in the blink of an eye, so I don't want anything to happen, ever, without telling you that. &nbsp;</b><br />
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This from a young lady not quite 17 years old yet. &nbsp;Am I the best dad in the whole world? &nbsp;I never thought so, but if she does...if your kids do...isn't that what matters? &nbsp;Go. &nbsp;Right now. &nbsp;Hug them for absolutely no reason. &nbsp;Find your spouse/significant other and put your arms around them and whisper in their ear how much they mean to you. &nbsp;Kiss them on the cheek and look into their eyes...really look...and tell them how much richer your life is for having them in it. &nbsp;If your relationship isn't the best, think back to what drew you to them in the first place so that your grumbling and complaining might lessen. &nbsp;You do NOT want anything to happen without letting them know how you truly feel. &nbsp;It will cost you nothing but a little time...and in the end, you'll feel better, too. &nbsp;I'm not trying to be 'sappy' (what does that mean, anyway?) but I am here to bear witness - some of us missed chances when we had them. &nbsp;That goes for friends as well - tell them how you feel, always. &nbsp;Then, after you've done those things, walk outside and take a look around. &nbsp;We're still here and have much, all of us, to be grateful for. &nbsp;Lastly, remember to like yourself and enjoy life....and simply breathe......<br />
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Until next time...........<br />
<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-75439611149119503902013-03-17T18:34:00.000-07:002013-03-17T18:34:03.949-07:00A Letter of Thanks...and The Importance of FriendsDeath is not easy. &nbsp;It's certainly not something we choose to deal with every day. &nbsp;Actually, it's not something we choose to deal with ANY day. &nbsp;Still, it happens. &nbsp;It is as much a part of life as living. &nbsp;By now, everyone reading this knows that my wife died last Sunday. &nbsp;Certainly not something I'd wish on anyone. &nbsp;Still, it forces a few things upon us when it does happen, and we are put in a position to examine, reexamine, question, and plan as never before. &nbsp;It is, in short, a life-changing scenario. &nbsp;I was asked, shortly after it happened, "Dave, why do these things always (seemingly) happen to you?" &nbsp;First, I don't think I have any more or less negative experiences than anyone else. &nbsp;My personal belief system allows me to expect things to happen as a matter of destiny, then try to understand the lesson I am to be learning from it. &nbsp;It doesn't work for everyone, but suits my needs. &nbsp;It's how I choose to deal with situations such as this and make sense of them, if even in a small way. &nbsp;This particular situation has brought many revelations and clearer meaning even in the short time I have had to examine it. &nbsp;For many, these lessons need to be shared and repeated. If what I have to offer helps anyone in the future, then the lessons and pain have not been in vain.<br />
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The first lessons I can share involve planning. &nbsp;I will always be the person, from this day forward, that stresses the need for planning 'In the event of...' an unexpected emergency. &nbsp;Allow me to ask of you a few questions. &nbsp;<b>Do you have a will?</b>&nbsp; If so, great - you are a head of the curve. &nbsp;If not, why not? &nbsp;<b>Do you have your papers in a safe place where someone knows where to find them?</b>&nbsp; I suggest everyone go to Wal-Mart and buy a fireproof lockbox for $25 - $30. &nbsp;Place your will, life insurance policies, instructions for your funeral, etc, in that box, then label it, "OPEN ME FIRST IN EVENT OF DEATH." &nbsp;If you think that sounds morbid, cold, callous...you ought to see what happens when you don't have this in place. &nbsp;A nightmare - trust me. &nbsp;<b>Are your named beneficiaries current and as you truly wish them to be?"</b>&nbsp; Just because you think something will go to the people you want to take care of, don't assume. &nbsp;PLEASE. &nbsp;You never know, there might be a policy you forgot to update. &nbsp;Your spouse might be thinking they can use that policy to help cover some of the costs of the funeral. &nbsp;If you haven't updated the policy, you might be gifting a former spouse that was abusive to you....all because you assumed it had been done or you were too lazy to take care of it. &nbsp;Look around your home at the people you love - your wife, husband, children - are you really too lazy to fill out a form to ensure they aren't struggling at the time of your death? &nbsp;Trust me, all you want them to do is miss you and grieve. &nbsp;If you were not maintaining your policies, their grief may be short-lived as they try to figure out how to cover the costs of your ill-timed demise. &nbsp;Please, for the sake of the people that share your life with you, plan for the eventual end. &nbsp;That includes considering pre-paying your funeral. &nbsp;It's similar to a term-life insurance policy. &nbsp;You make a payment for a period of 10 years, then the costs are covered. &nbsp;The good news is, if you make one payment and something unexpected happens, the costs are covered. &nbsp;100%. &nbsp;Completely. &nbsp;Why am I making an issue of this? &nbsp;Because when the funeral director says, "Here's the cost for the package you've chosen," he will expect a check. &nbsp;No, there are no payment plans at that point. &nbsp;Your plan then is to hand him a check. &nbsp;I have yet to find a package that is less than 5 figures. &nbsp;Do the math and take care of paying it ahead of time. &nbsp;It's the message I have, and I'm spreading the word.<br />
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The other lessons I have gleaned from this experience involve the importance of friends. &nbsp;Not just having them, but of being one. &nbsp;I was amazed and speechless at the outpouring of love, caring, and kindness shown by so many people from all across the country. &nbsp;For what seemed like days, I was carrying two phones and receiving calls from people almost non-stop sending their condolences. &nbsp;In the days after her death and as the plans were being made, people began to arrive in Alabama. &nbsp;They came from Florida, Texas, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and as far away as the State of Washington. &nbsp;I received cards, thoughts on Facebook, and individual e-mails from people expressing their concern and sorrow, while asking if they could do anything. &nbsp;My response to these calls was to let them know that the only thing I really wanted them to do was turn back time. &nbsp;In the absence of that, there was nothing they could do...or so I thought. &nbsp;The calls I received were, honestly, enough for me. &nbsp;To know there are people in your life that take the time to attempt to console you during these periods, is amazing and wonderful. &nbsp;The fact that many of them continued to call (and still are, actually) is something that makes me shake my head in wonder and disbelief. &nbsp;Again, powerful and amazing. &nbsp;I realized, too, that many of them made the comment, as I thanked them for being there, calling, etc, "Don't be silly, you'd be the first one there if it happened to me." &nbsp;It's nice to have them acknowledge that as I strive to be that kind of friend. &nbsp;Of course, they are the same (as they showed this past week) and, truth be told, I will always be there for them. &nbsp;I just hope it never has to be for the same reason. <br />
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I have been blessed with amazing, incredible friends and this is an open letter of thanks to you all. &nbsp;The words, thoughts, prayers, kindness, and concern you have shown for me, not only this past week but in general, touch me beyond belief. &nbsp;You have absolutely no idea how it affects me in such a positive way. &nbsp;One couple could not attend...yet made certain that we were all fed after the viewing. &nbsp;A caterer showed up at 2:00 on the dot...and proceeded to put out a spread to feed many. &nbsp;We walked in to the funeral home and the floral arrangement above greeted us - something near &amp; dear to Sharon's heart - and these were sent from our Penn State friends ('family', actually), along with a few Crimson Tide fans (more 'family'). &nbsp;There were coworkers of Sharon's that had not seen her for over three years...yet they always loved her and attended her service. &nbsp;To have someone tell you that your wife considered you the 'love of her life' is something we all want to hear, and when they shared it, it brought tears to my eyes. &nbsp;To have people continually call just to, "see how you're doing," is something that, for me at least, will never get old. &nbsp;To have a home filled with people that will share their fondest memories of your spouse, the times they spent with you both, and the crazy things the two of you did, is what it takes to ease the pain. &nbsp;My home was filled with laughter a few nights ago as we recalled a life that, while taken too soon, was lived as fully as possible and I appreciate all of you for making me smile. &nbsp;This is not going to be easy, I realize that. &nbsp;The support has come from my family - my daughter, my mother, my sisters....and all of you. &nbsp;I cannot consider you anything BUT family. &nbsp;I have said since the day it happened - I will continue to wake up, get dressed, put one foot in front of the other...and breathe. &nbsp;I said at her funeral that I wanted hers to be a celebration of life rather than a somber occasion. &nbsp;This situation, more than any I can recall, made me think of a quote I think we've all heard - "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." &nbsp;I could be incredibly, horribly sad and, though I am having my moments, will admit to being grateful that I had seven years of a great life. &nbsp;I consider this the end of a chapter, not the book. &nbsp;The rest of my journey begins now - in fact it's already begun - and I want each and every one of you along for the ride. &nbsp;You are my support, my family, my life. &nbsp;I promise to make yours as special as you have made mine. &nbsp;Thank you from the heart...and more than I can ever express. &nbsp;I love you all.<br />
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Until next time.......Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-55428895603288863752012-12-16T11:03:00.000-08:002012-12-16T11:03:03.466-08:00My Grown-Up Christmas Wish...In Memory of The KidsI've thought of so many ways to begin this post because there are so many thoughts I want to tie together. &nbsp;In the immortal words of Julie Andrews, let's start at the very beginning. &nbsp;We all know it's been a little over 48 hours since we heard the sickening (literally) news of the senseless killings of innocents in Norwalk, CT. &nbsp;The eldest of these was 56 years old, the majority, students, 6-and 7-year olds. &nbsp;I must confess, as I read the story this morning to verify these numbers, I find it difficult to read as my eyes welled with tears yet again. &nbsp;I don't mean to dwell on it or tear back the scab that is beginning to form as we heal, however we must. &nbsp;We must not forget these children and educators, for if we do, we ourselves become numb to the gravity of the situation. &nbsp;Make no mistake - this is a grave situation. &nbsp;Make no mistake here, either - I am not talking about gun control, mental illness, the safety of our schools. &nbsp;No, I am talking in broader strokes about our inhumanity toward each other as people. &nbsp;By the way, my 'Wish' I mentioned is at the end of the post. &nbsp;It's in the form of a challenge and I think you'll understand.<br />
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Fortunately, a friend posted something on Facebook that gave me the inspiration for this entry. &nbsp;They simply said that they had been a recipient of a random act of kindness. &nbsp;Someone in a Starbucks drive-thru, a man in the car just ahead of her's, paid for her coffee and bought her a cookie. &nbsp;He then drove off. &nbsp;Purely random, incredible, unsolicited kindness. &nbsp;Sadly, we look at actions such as this as extraordinary. &nbsp;I think that, in itself, shows where we are headed as a society. &nbsp;It cost him little, yet made a huge impact. &nbsp;It needs to happen more frequently.<br />
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&nbsp;As I sat here this morning drinking my coffee, I watched commercials on television and thought about the shopping yet to be done. &nbsp;Then, almost as quickly, the images and stories came flooding back. &nbsp;Yes, many of us are sitting here with family today, yet there are 26 people whose funerals are being planned. &nbsp;The majority of these are children. &nbsp;That is simply not natural and something no parent should have to endure. &nbsp;I imagine many of our own children were squeezed, kissed, hugged, and cried over in the past 48 hours than they had been in the past 48 days. &nbsp;We need to do that more frequently, too. &nbsp;I refuse to mention the name of the perpetrator of these acts. &nbsp;If the national media wants to impress me, I will gladly sit and listen about each and every child that was killed. &nbsp;If you want to give me a story, tell of the heroics of 27-year old Victoria Soto, one of the teachers, who died protecting her students. &nbsp;Tell me about the principal, Dawn Hochsprung, who died as she tried to stop the gunman. &nbsp;I do not care why he did it, nor do I care to hear anything more of him. &nbsp;Let the specialists figure out those facts, but for God's sake, stop making these people household names. &nbsp;You're giving them what they wanted. &nbsp;Stop it. &nbsp;Now.<br />
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I used to be concerned, in my younger years, about what people would think if I said or did certain things or acted a certain way. &nbsp;What I mean by that is, many of us (especially of the male gender) have been conditioned to tell our spouses and our families we love them. &nbsp;It is noticeably rare that you hear two heterosexual males say, "I love you," to a friend. &nbsp;Oh, how we've conditioned ourselves. &nbsp;At this point, I have to interject that I have always been surprised and proud of how my son has handled this. &nbsp;It's never fazed him. &nbsp;When I was younger, I (like many of us, I think) hated my parents being around for fear they would embarrass me in front of my friends. &nbsp;He, however, has never hesitated to tell his mother, father, and friends he loves them, even when he was in school. &nbsp;Of course, he was the starting center on the football team. &nbsp;Me, not so much. &nbsp;No one was going to make fun of him. &nbsp;Still, I have come to realize that what happened Friday could happen to any of us at any time. &nbsp;Do you really want to be the one that left something unsaid to those that matter? &nbsp;As I said, those were in my younger years. &nbsp;I will gladly tell those that matter, especially as they have been in my life for many years, that they matter and I love them. &nbsp;What's that? &nbsp;You say you can't say it to another male friend? &nbsp;Get over yourself - they matter, let them know how much.<br />
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Eldridge Cleaver once said, <b>"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."</b> &nbsp;Edmund Burke also said, <b>"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."</b> &nbsp;I choose think we, as a whole, are good. &nbsp;I also think we need to do something. &nbsp;Again, we'll have the gun control, mental health, safety conversations, trust me. &nbsp;We all know they will come as they always do. &nbsp;That brings to mind another famous quote by Albert Einstein, who said, <b>"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."</b>&nbsp; We've continued to do the same things, repeatedly, and we've see the same result. &nbsp;Am I the only one that thinks we might need to attack the problem from another angle? &nbsp;Am I the only person that shakes their head when we hear these stories, thinks that we really need to address the problem, yet assumes someone else will take care of it? &nbsp;Many of us do the same thing as we are too engrossed in our daily lives to try to make a real difference. &nbsp;Knowing the demands placed on our time, as well as realizing our current efforts are not enough, we've got to find something...<b>anything</b>...that will allow us to affect change while not taxing our already-stressed schedules. &nbsp;Therein lies the impetus for my wish.<br />
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Many of you are friends on Facebook. &nbsp;I have to admit, there are many 'stories' and posts on that site that say, <b>"Click if you hate cancer, scroll if you don't."</b> &nbsp;Please, people - we all hate cancer. &nbsp;It's ridiculous. &nbsp;<b>"Click if you support our troops, scroll if they mean nothing to you." &nbsp;"Click if you believe in God, keep scrolling if you don't." </b>&nbsp;I see many of these posts and, while we may or may not 'click', I'm going to challenge you to do something that will, hopefully, go viral and make a difference. &nbsp;Here it is:<br />
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My Grown-Up Christmas wish if for people to remember this quote - <b>"Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. &nbsp;You know why? &nbsp;It's the only thing that ever has."</b>&nbsp; We seek change, yet know not how to go about it. &nbsp;<b>I'd like to see people share this with as many others as possible, then commit to a single random act of kindness.</b> &nbsp;To do this, daily, would make a huge impact, don't you think? &nbsp;I can do it, my daughter or son can do it, my family can do it...and we will see a little change. &nbsp;Think, though, of the amazing impact we can have if just the people reading this would do it. &nbsp;How much time, and at what cost, did it take for someone to simply buy a cup of coffee for someone else? &nbsp;We can all 'pay it forward' and we owe it to ourselves and, more importantly, our children to make the commitment. <br />
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There it is - my Christmas wish. &nbsp;If no more children are lost due to senseless, depraved acts of violence, we win. &nbsp;If teachers can go into a classroom and educate our children without having to shield them from harm, we win. &nbsp;If we all get to the point where we actually show love, caring, kindness, and consideration to others....win win. &nbsp;Big. &nbsp;We don't know how many Christmases we have left in our lives - none of us does - and this might be the solution that we haven't tried yet. &nbsp;What we've been doing isn't working. &nbsp;Don't we owe it to ourselves to at least try? &nbsp;Thank you for taking the time to read and share this. &nbsp;Thank you for doing something nice for someone you don't know. &nbsp;Most importantly, thank you for beings friends. &nbsp;Merry Christmas to all...and God bless us every one.<br />
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Until next time................<br />
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<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-7860500626945025822012-12-14T18:54:00.000-08:002012-12-14T18:54:06.065-08:00Typing Through TearsIt's been quite a while since I posted anything here which seems to be my new M.O. &nbsp;There are those times, however, that make me decide I have to vent and let my feelings out if even to be put into words appearing on a screen. &nbsp;Whether others read it or not, it helps me to say what I am feeling so I can come to terms with the incredible emotions being felt. &nbsp;Today, of course, is one of those times.<br />
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The day started as any other Friday at work, my first call coming in from a co-worker who, somewhere during the initial part of the call, was perusing the online news feed of his computer. &nbsp;"Oh, great. &nbsp;Another school shooting. &nbsp;Somewhere in CT. &nbsp;Great way to start a Friday." &nbsp;He was, of course, being very sarcastic. &nbsp;We were sharing our thoughts at the unbelievable nature of these situations only briefly before moving on to the subject of work. &nbsp;After a few minutes we ended the call and I began searching the web for information I needed. &nbsp;When I brought up my homepage, it was then I saw the depth of the situation. &nbsp;The reports at that time had 26 people dead - 18 students and 8 adults. &nbsp;I was sure this was another high school shooting until.....I saw the photos. &nbsp;Photos of children being led by policewomen in blue windbreakers and holding radios guiding a line of children that appeared to be in elementary school. &nbsp;If the caption hadn't existed, this might have even looked like a line of children heading to a bus for a field trip. &nbsp;Instead, it was a class being taken to safety, guided by these women. &nbsp;These were...<b>children!</b>&nbsp; I know that teenagers are children, too, though in these times that is easy to forget. &nbsp;These children, though, are 10 years old and under. &nbsp;Kindergarten through 4th grade. &nbsp;How was this possible?<br />
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We know now that there are 20 children dead. &nbsp;We also know there are 6 adults dead. &nbsp;I say children, though we might as easily use the term babies. &nbsp;I have a 16-year old daughter who, as any father will attest, will always be my baby. &nbsp;The difference, however, is that she has seen things that taught her there is evil in the world. &nbsp;She knows how to be 'streetwise' and aware of her surroundings. &nbsp;These babies have not seen those things, nor do they understand the true concept of evil. &nbsp;At least they hadn't known it until today. &nbsp;As I turned on the television, my thoughts went immediately to my 5-year old granddaughter. &nbsp;She spent the night with us the other evening and, best of all, wanted to bake cookies with me. &nbsp;She fell asleep in front of the television and, after carrying her to bed, I tucked her in safe and sound. &nbsp;In the morning, I got to relive times I had spent with my daughter when she was that age. &nbsp;I gently woke her, helped her get dressed and brushed her teeth before whisking her away to daycare. &nbsp;She talked the entire time we drove to school and I soaked in the memories like a sponge. &nbsp;I was transported back to a magical time about 12 years ago that I had, to some degree, forgotten. &nbsp;Today, though, I watched the television and openly wept. &nbsp;I felt the tears run down my cheek as I said out loud, "These were just defenseless children, you bastard!" &nbsp;I thought of friends and family that have young children and how none of us are ever prepared for the loss of a child in any fashion, much less at the hands of a sick, demented, twisted individual that did this for a reason no one can understand, nor one that can, in any way, be justified.<br />
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These were children whose main concern was what would be under their Christmas trees in 10 days. &nbsp;They were thinking about what they'd tell Santa when he asked if they were good little boys and girls and what they wanted for Christmas. &nbsp;They were thinking about the fun they'd have over their Christmas break. &nbsp;They were, most likely, thinking about this being the most incredible time of the year. &nbsp; &nbsp;Christmas, from this point forward, will be forever darkened for the families of the children that were in that school today. &nbsp;This will forever be an anniversary of this tragedy and will take more than a little time to heal. &nbsp;We will all, for some time to come, remember this as we did Columbine. <br />
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We'll spend the next few days analyzing and listening to details of why he did it, what he was thinking. We won't really care, though. &nbsp;Babies have died needlessly. &nbsp;We will talk about gun control and mental illness. &nbsp;We will propose and pass legislation. &nbsp;We will hear it on talk radio shows and national television. &nbsp;We will discuss it at length and, in the end, it will happen again. &nbsp;We will hear this news over and over again because we are drifting as a society, our moral compasses helplessly spinning. &nbsp;I don't profess to have the answer, though I know it is not a gun control issue that requires more worthless legislation. &nbsp;Every time we pass a new law, there are so many loopholes that we could drive a truck through them. &nbsp;There are certain guns on the market that are not needed for self-defense. &nbsp;This isn't the day for that conversation, though. &nbsp;Today's conversation is how do we help, even in a small way, these families heal?<br />
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I am, and always will be, a fan of the television show, "The West Wing." &nbsp;I have always thought the writing to be insightful and moving, while at times providing incredible quotes that fit our times and situations. &nbsp;One such quote that I think describes how I feel tonight is this:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><b>"All I know for sure, all I know for certain, is that they weren't born wanting to do this. There's evil in the world, there'll always be, and we can't do anything about that. But there's violence in our schools, too much mayhem in our culture, and we can do something about that. There's not enough character, discipline, and depth in our classrooms; there aren't enough teachers in our classrooms. There isn't nearly enough, not nearly enough, not nearly enough money in our classrooms, and we can do something about that. We're not doing nearly enough, not nearly enough to teach our children well, and we can do better, and we must do better, and we will do better, and we will start this moment today! They weren't born wanting to do this."</b></span><br />
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Mark my words, and I have heard it from others being interviewed today, this will happen again. &nbsp;We need to stop asking why and become parents again. &nbsp;I have asked over the past several years when we stopped being able to discipline our children. &nbsp;I remember that spankings were thought to be detrimental to the child and that parents, if allowed to continue this practice, would far too easily abuse the child. &nbsp;I'd like to go on record as saying it has gotten out of control. &nbsp;I have seen children speak to their elders in a way that would have gotten me a quick meeting with my father's belt or hand. &nbsp;I would have experienced punishment (and did) that made me learn my lesson which, truth be told, was needed. &nbsp;We need to teach right from wrong and, though I am not an advocate of spanking and used it as an example, need to discipline our youth. &nbsp;Would that have saved these children? &nbsp;I don't know. &nbsp;No one does. &nbsp;I can say, though, that without discipline we are headed far off the course that needed to be set. &nbsp;Making sure we discipline our children is a responsibility and not doing so is detrimental to not just them, but society as a whole. &nbsp;Ask any of the parents of the children that died today. &nbsp;Now, here I am ranting about child discipline, not knowing if it was a factor or not. &nbsp;I can only assume, based on the previous situations we've seen, that it was. &nbsp;Parents, too consumed with giving their children everything they ask for, have forgotten to give them the things they are truly in need of - our time and our love.<br />
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In another line stolen from the series, I'll paraphrase when I say, the streets of heaven are filled with too many angels tonight. &nbsp;They are angles that should not be there but, rather, here waiting for that special day, Christmas. &nbsp;They should be here, their nights filled with the anticipation of this holiday. &nbsp;They should be snuggled in their beds counting down the days until that night, only 10 days from now, when they would pull the covers around them, fight sleep as long as they could, then drifted off only to awaken and run downstairs to see that the magic really exists. &nbsp;These were babies and we cannot imagine, even as adults, the unspeakable hell they went through today. &nbsp;Their friends and teachers that were fortunate enough to survive will never forget this day and will carry this with them forever. &nbsp;We can only hope that they will honor their classmates' memories by learning respect and discipline. &nbsp;We can only hope they will hold their own children close, later in life, and let them know they are loved every minute of every day.<br />
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I have ranted more than usual, written more than I should, and gone off on too many tangents. &nbsp;Regardless, I feel a little better and my tears have dried for now. &nbsp;I hope we all, from this point forward, do our parts to help each other do what we can to stop this madness. &nbsp;We owe it to each other, if only through random acts of kindness that we commit as often as possible.<br />
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Until next time.............<br />
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Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-2901419771011380902012-09-11T09:28:00.001-07:002012-09-11T09:28:44.757-07:00What I Remember...Not of THAT Day, But of That TimeI'm seeing tributes everywhere today. People stating that, "We Will Not Forget," or, "We Will Always Remember." Of course, we'll remember...how could we not? We, as a nation, lost our innocence that day. It wasn't the first time, either. A generation ago, our parents and grandparents felt a similar 'sting' with the death of Camelot. An 'ideal' was ripped from them and, together, they carried the scars of a November day in Dallas. Until 2001, we really hadn't experienced anything like that. Time, as it always does, moved forward...and so did we. Until.....<br />
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I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, talking on the phone with a coworker, when she told me a plane crashed into the World Trade Center. I, of course, assumed it to be a small plane. As we continued our conversation, I heard her gasp and exclaim, "Oh, my God! I just watched another one hit the other tower!" Instinctively, our rational minds told us this was no accident. Across the country, we rushed to turn on our televisions and radios, while simultaneously calling family members to make sure they were okay. For the remainder of that day (and well into the next), we watched, over and over, as the planes flew into the towers. We saw the scarred landscape in Pennsylvania... and the gaping hole in the side of the Pentagon. Oh yes, we'll remember...and no, we will not forget.<br />
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For all these images, though, they aren't what I remember the most. While I mourn the lives that were lost that day, I prefer to keep positive memories…and there were many associated with these horrific acts. While it's easy to dwell on the surreal images of the jets flying into the World Trade Center.....I remember the flags. They were everywhere. Suddenly, and without a second thought, the American flag was flying from, what seemed like, every house in The country. it was flown over the rubble in New York, and used cover the hole in the Pentagon. For a brief moment in time (and something we should remember right now), we weren't Republicans or Democrats - we were Americans. We weren't black, white, or Hispanic - we were Americans. We weren't young or old, rich or poor - we were Americans. I remember, too, how selfless people were in their actions. We were kinder and gentler with each other. We actually made eye contact and spoke with others with a renewed, unified sense of American pride. It was almost as if, without knowing it, we had been transported back to the 50s. We respected each other and cared for each other, all while showing the world we are the 'United' States. Personally, and with the exception of the lives lost, I thought the terrorists made an egregious error and truly underestimated our resolve as a nation. <br />
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I mourn for the families that lost loved ones that day - we cannot imagine the emptiness they must feel. I also honor the heroes of that day - those on the planes, as well as the firefighters, policemen, and other emergency workers. That's something else I remember. While the freaks that perpetrated these acts were cowardly, we still have people that are willing to run INTO burning, smoldering buildings. 343 firefighters lost their lives that day, most of whom were asked to run INTO danger... and they never flinched. The same is true for the police and paramedics....and countless civilians.<br />
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That's what I remember. The flags that represented, at a time of deep national crisis, the embodiment of what our forefathers imagined for us 200+ years ago. We certainly made them proud and stood true to their ideals. I remember our heroes - men and women who, when asked, were willing to give up their lives for another. No, we will NEVER forget...for that day alone was one of my proudest moments to be called an 'American' and was a shining example of what we, as a country, stand for.<br />
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Until next time.....Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2268619841412598600.post-13145928048105654382012-08-14T16:16:00.000-07:002012-08-14T16:16:00.181-07:00The Olympics Are Over - Here's How We Know...I suppose I should have gotten to this sooner. &nbsp;If I had, though, the "rest of the story," would not have presented itself. &nbsp;I would have been stuck writing purely about The Games of the XXX Olympiad. &nbsp;That, as we all know, would have been exceedingly boring, right? &nbsp;Yes, I jest. &nbsp;For it was in these games that we saw history made or rewritten repeatedly. &nbsp;The most obvious example was Baltimore's own, Michael Phelps. &nbsp;After assuring the entire world this was his last Olympics, we watched him become the most decorated Olympian in history. &nbsp;Yes, he chose a sport that allowed him to be in a position to do so, however let's not forget - he had to perform to win the medals. &nbsp;The final tally, as we've all been told, is 22 total medals. &nbsp;Of those, there are 18 Gold. &nbsp;Let's not forget the games in 2008, either, when Phelps challenged Mark Spitz's record of 7 Gold medals in a single Olympiad...and came home with 8. &nbsp;He twice became the only man to win a Gold medal in the same event at three separate Games. &nbsp;The list goes on...yet we've (supposedly) seen him for the last time swimming competitively. &nbsp;There are many that hope, myself included, that he might consider Rio in 2016, yet another part of me wants him to ride off into the sunset so he can retire on top. &nbsp;I liked his attitude, too, when told there would be many that would hate to see this particular retirement - "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." &nbsp;Perfect.<br />
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We also got to watch the "Fab Five," in action. &nbsp;Five young women dressed in leotards, their hair pulled back, looking ready to take on the world. &nbsp;They were only teenagers, though they carried themselves with grace, dignity and confidence while exemplifying 'sportsmanship' to their competitors. Honestly, did our collective hearts not break for Jordyn Weiber? &nbsp;She qualified 4th overall for the Individual competition, yet could not compete because only two athletes were allowed form each country. &nbsp;Silly rule - change it. &nbsp;We want to see the 24 best athletes perform. &nbsp;We watched McKayla Maroney absolutely NAIL her vault for the team. &nbsp;It should have been a perfect score...yet, we watched as she went for her individual medal and, though she is the undisputed 'best in the world' on the vault, she landed on....well, she sat down. &nbsp;We gasped. &nbsp;Still, we watched Gabby Douglas win a Gold in the All-Around, while Aly Raisman won for the floor exercise. &nbsp;We were diggin' it.<br />
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There were other stories, lesser-known and told, that grabbed our attention, too. &nbsp;One in particular that was aired on the Nightly News focused on one of our female weightlifters. &nbsp;This young woman has always been big. &nbsp;She had been teased and people made fun of her. &nbsp;She also lived on $400/month while training and, at times, had to live in her car. &nbsp;Why would anyone do that? &nbsp;Why would they sacrifice so much? &nbsp;Because, as she pointed out, she can call herself, "An Olympian." &nbsp;It's a small, select group...and she is one of the few. &nbsp;I respect that. &nbsp;She wanted to represent her country...our country...on the world's biggest stage. &nbsp;Impressive.<br />
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The most impressive story of these Games, however (I don't even need to say it, do I?) was a South African athlete...with no lower legs. &nbsp;Oscar Pistorius. &nbsp;Tell me again how bad your day has been. &nbsp;Tell me the problems you have in life. &nbsp;Tell me, again, how difficult things are and how hard it is to get motivated. &nbsp;To watch him run was amazing, yet to hear the stories of his youth even more so. &nbsp;His mother's words echoing, always, in his mind - "Disabled doesn't have to mean disadvantaged." &nbsp;Powerful? &nbsp;Absolutely. &nbsp;I really enjoyed her brand of motivation when she told his brother, "Put on your shoes. &nbsp;Oscar, put on your legs. &nbsp;That's the last I want to hear of it today." &nbsp;The most amazing part of this man, though, is illustrated in the picture. &nbsp;He has become a symbol of hope for many small children and, more than many adults using empty words, is teaching them that there are no limits to what they can do. &nbsp;It was, in short, an amazing Olympiad and all of England should be proud. &nbsp;The world thanks you. <br />
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Then, however (and the rest of the story), we get an illustration of how that perfect harmony created every two years is only an illusion in the 'real' world. &nbsp;It was a story written today regarding discrimination and harassment. &nbsp;28-year old Imane Boudlal, a naturalized US citizen from Morocco, has filed suit against the Walt Disney Company. &nbsp;In the suit, she is charging harassment and religious discrimination based on her Muslim religion and ethnic origins in North Africa. &nbsp;She began working as a hostess at Grand Californian Hotel &amp; Spa Resort in 2008. &nbsp;She claims, too, that she was harassed by fellow workers and that Disney refused to accommodate her request to wear a traditional Muslim headscarf, a hijab, at work. &nbsp;Ultimately, this caused her to leave Disney in 2010. &nbsp;No, I do not have the dates wrong. &nbsp;She left in 2010 and she is NOW filing suit. &nbsp;Why it took two years to file this suit is beyond me...though I can imagine it might have something to do with the ACLU and an ambulance-chasing lawyer catching the story. &nbsp;Okay, this is where I feel my constant disclaimer must be placed: <b>I have nothing against practicing Muslims or, for that matter, anyone of ANY specific religion, race, creed, or color. &nbsp;</b>I just think that's a long time...don't you? &nbsp;So...Boudlal claims the harassment began, <b>"as soon as I started working there. &nbsp;It only got worse when I decided to wear a hijab. &nbsp;My journey towards wearing it couldn't have been more American; it began at my naturalization ceremony. I realized that I had the freedom to be who I want and freely practice my religion."</b><br />
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Wait.....let's revisit that for a moment. &nbsp;If I read that correctly, she did NOT always wear a hijab. &nbsp;She decided to do so at her naturalization ceremony. &nbsp;She had been working without the hijab, then decided at a later time it was appropriate. &nbsp;Disney, for their part, sought a compromise. &nbsp;They offered her (with 4 separate choices) headwear that would both compliment her uniform, as well as allow her to accomplish her goal of covering her head in observance of her religion. &nbsp;In addition, if she absolutely HAD to wear the hijab (something that she apparently did NOT), they offered her other positions that would be in an area in the back of the restaurant. &nbsp;My point being - they tried to accommodate Boudlal and her religion. &nbsp;They specifically made head coverings <b>for her</b>&nbsp;that she rejected. Why, if wearing the hijab initially wasn't an issue, would she reject their attempts at compromise? &nbsp;I think we know why...and is an issue that is bothering many of us. &nbsp;To all that want to practice their religions here, we are fine with that. &nbsp;For those that beg our tolerance, we hear you. &nbsp;For those that want us to accommodate your wishes, I have a few questions. &nbsp;Why did you come here when you could have stayed in your homeland and worn this whenever you wished? &nbsp;Why is it we always have to, "Press 1 for English."? &nbsp;This is America and we are proud of the fact that we are a 'melting pot' of so many different societies, however we are Americans. &nbsp;Period. &nbsp;I wonder, as I have often in the past, what kind of tolerance we would receive if we were to go to your former countries and brought legal action against someone being intolerant of our religious beliefs or customs. &nbsp;Yes, that's rhetorical. &nbsp;We all know the answer...which is, quite honestly, why you are here. &nbsp;Disney is an American company. &nbsp;They have rules for their employees and should not be forced to bend to threats or legal actions. &nbsp;The rule applies to all AND they offered a compromise. &nbsp;Seriously, though...was it a compromise you wanted...or an opportunity to sue Disney and, like the new American Dream, rake in unearned millions? &nbsp;When our ancestors came to Ellis Island, they came with a few dollars in their pockets. &nbsp;The only real thing they had was hope and all they asked was an opportunity. &nbsp;They did not come demanding we would do something for them. &nbsp;They, rather, wanted to make something and help build this great nation. &nbsp;Word of advice - you might want to try that...and see if the tolerance increases. &nbsp;My bet is it will. &nbsp;I'll stand beside you and help build 'our' country again...........<br />
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Until next time...................<br />
<br />Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12330625233618499427noreply@blogger.com0