(Original post by Riku)
I can agree with you when people are at risk of an eating disorder or have only just begun to enact the behaviours, say those following the dodgy let's go on a diet path usually preceding it, but after a point it is a genuine chemical imbalance that requires medical support and treatment to address. Some people with EDs reach a point where their brain has shrunk from the loss of essential fat that they're unable to compute much except the obsessions that have been ingrained in them for months beforehand; emotions such as optimism, hope, empathy, fear, the brain can't recognise them, they're not felt. Others, not only on the restrictive spectrum but those suffering from Bulimia, Compulsive Eating and Binge Eating Disorder for example, reach a point of such gross electrolyte imbalances and cardiac weakness that they're dizzy and light-headed and are trying their best to ignore gripping chest pains that they can't understand. Add to that that some AN sufferers enter a state of starvation where their vital organs shut down and leptin/ghrelin levels have been skewed to the point where the mind just doesn't register hunger anymore. None of these have the physical or mental energy to even consider an alternative, but it isn't for one minute through them "not trying hard enough", at its worst it's a physiological impossibility that requires inpatient treatment and refeeding before their brain and heart give in and it's far too late. Even following weight gain to the safe limit, it requires significant "refeeding" of both body and mind for normal cognitive processing to recur.
Pretty much all long-term sufferers, even those away from the danger zones, have had their mind wired through unconscious behavioural conditioning over the course of their lives to a specific interpretation of events such as "what will happen if I eat X". These often contribute to other psychological conditions such as anxiety or depression that may have preceded the ED and are almost certainly exacerbated by it. I repeat, it's unconscious, it's habit, an involuntary movement, you don't even know you're doing it until you're told so. How can you possibly begin to change something that's becomes so habitual that you can't think of any other way it could have been done?
I appreciate the gesture, and I'm glad you've managed to overcome your own anger issues through positive self-help guides, but this is perhaps a bit more complicated. If you need to know more, the Minnesota Experiment and the work of Pavlov might help explain what happens when an ED really takes hold.

(Original post by Riku)
I can agree with you when people are at risk of an eating disorder or have only just begun to enact the behaviours, say those following the dodgy let's go on a diet path usually preceding it, but after a point it is a genuine chemical imbalance that requires medical support and treatment to address. Some people with EDs reach a point where their brain has shrunk from the loss of essential fat that they're unable to compute much except the obsessions that have been ingrained in them for months beforehand; emotions such as optimism, hope, empathy, fear, the brain can't recognise them, they're not felt. Others, not only on the restrictive spectrum but those suffering from Bulimia, Compulsive Eating and Binge Eating Disorder for example, reach a point of such gross electrolyte imbalances and cardiac weakness that they're dizzy and light-headed and are trying their best to ignore gripping chest pains that they can't understand. Add to that that some AN sufferers enter a state of starvation where their vital organs shut down and leptin/ghrelin levels have been skewed to the point where the mind just doesn't register hunger anymore. None of these have the physical or mental energy to even consider an alternative, but it isn't for one minute through them "not trying hard enough", at its worst it's a physiological impossibility that requires inpatient treatment and refeeding before their brain and heart give in and it's far too late. Even following weight gain to the safe limit, it requires significant "refeeding" of both body and mind for normal cognitive processing to recur.
Pretty much all long-term sufferers, even those away from the danger zones, have had their mind wired through unconscious behavioural conditioning over the course of their lives to a specific interpretation of events such as "what will happen if I eat X". These often contribute to other psychological conditions such as anxiety or depression that may have preceded the ED and are almost certainly exacerbated by it. I repeat, it's unconscious, it's habit, an involuntary movement, you don't even know you're doing it until you're told so. How can you possibly begin to change something that's becomes so habitual that you can't think of any other way it could have been done?
I appreciate the gesture, and I'm glad you've managed to overcome your own anger issues through positive self-help guides, but this is perhaps a bit more complicated. If you need to know more, the Minnesota Experiment and the work of Pavlov might help explain what happens when an ED really takes hold.

(Original post by Riku)
I can agree with you when people are at risk of an eating disorder or have only just begun to enact the behaviours, say those following the dodgy let's go on a diet path usually preceding it, but after a point it is a genuine chemical imbalance that requires medical support and treatment to address. Some people with EDs reach a point where their brain has shrunk from the loss of essential fat that they're unable to compute much except the obsessions that have been ingrained in them for months beforehand; emotions such as optimism, hope, empathy, fear, the brain can't recognise them, they're not felt. Others, not only on the restrictive spectrum but those suffering from Bulimia, Compulsive Eating and Binge Eating Disorder for example, reach a point of such gross electrolyte imbalances and cardiac weakness that they're dizzy and light-headed and are trying their best to ignore gripping chest pains that they can't understand. Add to that that some AN sufferers enter a state of starvation where their vital organs shut down and leptin/ghrelin levels have been skewed to the point where the mind just doesn't register hunger anymore. None of these have the physical or mental energy to even consider an alternative, but it isn't for one minute through them "not trying hard enough", at its worst it's a physiological impossibility that requires inpatient treatment and refeeding before their brain and heart give in and it's far too late. Even following weight gain to the safe limit, it requires significant "refeeding" of both body and mind for normal cognitive processing to recur.
Pretty much all long-term sufferers, even those away from the danger zones, have had their mind wired through unconscious behavioural conditioning over the course of their lives to a specific interpretation of events such as "what will happen if I eat X". These often contribute to other psychological conditions such as anxiety or depression that may have preceded the ED and are almost certainly exacerbated by it. I repeat, it's unconscious, it's habit, an involuntary movement, you don't even know you're doing it until you're told so. How can you possibly begin to change something that's becomes so habitual that you can't think of any other way it could have been done?
I appreciate the gesture, and I'm glad you've managed to overcome your own anger issues through positive self-help guides, but this is perhaps a bit more complicated. If you need to know more, the Minnesota Experiment and the work of Pavlov might help explain what happens when an ED really takes hold.

(Original post by Riku)
I can agree with you when people are at risk of an eating disorder or have only just begun to enact the behaviours, say those following the dodgy let's go on a diet path usually preceding it, but after a point it is a genuine chemical imbalance that requires medical support and treatment to address. Some people with EDs reach a point where their brain has shrunk from the loss of essential fat that they're unable to compute much except the obsessions that have been ingrained in them for months beforehand; emotions such as optimism, hope, empathy, fear, the brain can't recognise them, they're not felt. Others, not only on the restrictive spectrum but those suffering from Bulimia, Compulsive Eating and Binge Eating Disorder for example, reach a point of such gross electrolyte imbalances and cardiac weakness that they're dizzy and light-headed and are trying their best to ignore gripping chest pains that they can't understand. Add to that that some AN sufferers enter a state of starvation where their vital organs shut down and leptin/ghrelin levels have been skewed to the point where the mind just doesn't register hunger anymore. None of these have the physical or mental energy to even consider an alternative, but it isn't for one minute through them "not trying hard enough", at its worst it's a physiological impossibility that requires inpatient treatment and refeeding before their brain and heart give in and it's far too late. Even following weight gain to the safe limit, it requires significant "refeeding" of both body and mind for normal cognitive processing to recur.
Pretty much all long-term sufferers, even those away from the danger zones, have had their mind wired through unconscious behavioural conditioning over the course of their lives to a specific interpretation of events such as "what will happen if I eat X". These often contribute to other psychological conditions such as anxiety or depression that may have preceded the ED and are almost certainly exacerbated by it. I repeat, it's unconscious, it's habit, an involuntary movement, you don't even know you're doing it until you're told so. How can you possibly begin to change something that's becomes so habitual that you can't think of any other way it could have been done?
I appreciate the gesture, and I'm glad you've managed to overcome your own anger issues through positive self-help guides, but this is perhaps a bit more complicated. If you need to know more, the Minnesota Experiment and the work of Pavlov might help explain what happens when an ED really takes hold.

Ok so I was sitting over the toilet and gagging quite forcefully because it wasn't coming up as normal... And suddenly I got this shooting chest pain, really sudden, weirdly close to my heart, and I felt all dizzy and scared to I had to lay on the bathroom floor for 2 minutes... The pain's gone now and my heart's beating regularly but it was just so scary I feel so alone.

I am suffering from binge starve disorder and have been for a few years. Before that I was pretty much anorexic. I've gotten to the point where I feel so ill - tired jumpy weak, disorientated constantly dizzy have brain fog rubbish memory and really low self esteem I'm also a stone overweight. I desperately desperately want to feel normal again adn to eat normally again.
I can't remember the last time that I ate 3 meals in a day - I either stuff myself randomly with sugar or eat hardly anything in the day I don't know how to stop it literally

I'll say one thing for my university, they really seem to care. The dean of students office sent my senior resident to check on me after I sort of missed an appointment (it was cancelled anyway) and reminded me that I needed to make another appointment. It's kind of lovely that they care.

Does anyone get really annoyed at themselves repeating the same patterns over and over again? I've noticed that I keep doing the same things with my medication and the way I randomly drop out of therapy. I'm really trying not to do that this time and I promised my therapist I'd mention it to her if I was feeling like not returning. I feel like that now and the session was pretty good in the sense that we've got plans for the next two weeks. Confusing.

(Original post by diamonddust)
I'll say one thing for my university, they really seem to care. The dean of students office sent my senior resident to check on me after I sort of missed an appointment (it was cancelled anyway) and reminded me that I needed to make another appointment. It's kind of lovely that they care.

Does anyone get really annoyed at themselves repeating the same patterns over and over again? I've noticed that I keep doing the same things with my medication and the way I randomly drop out of therapy. I'm really trying not to do that this time and I promised my therapist I'd mention it to her if I was feeling like not returning. I feel like that now and the session was pretty good in the sense that we've got plans for the next two weeks. Confusing.

DD, don't drop out, LET them help you. I want you to be the crazy bat in my halls who studies creative writing if I end up at UEA for chem. Not the lass who looks REALLY,really poorly, with all the bones in her back on show.

~Kay, at that point I was terrified of chocolate cake and I was afraid a tiramasu would leap out and attack me, and as such I didn't go. (Lol, my computer autocorrects tiramasu to dramatist. Understandable.)

You know what though? You KNOW you want to enjoy, you WANT to enjoy. You are going for you, not to prove anything to ANYBODY apart from proving something to yourself.

After not eating for so long because of the side-effects of my anti-depressants, I've had a few days verging on binging (well, binging for me, not by the standards of someone with a regular appetite, but still).

Spoiler:

Show

I feel absolutely disgusting about myself and such a failure. I'm already planning that in the morning I'm just going to drink lots of fluids for breakfast and look at some thinspiration to put me off eating. I hate myself.

Hi everyone. Been bulimic for the past 8 years. All the more depressing seeing as I just turned 20 a few months ago. How does everybody cope with it? It literally just consumes me to no end. I don't really come from a well to do household, so the food we buy are usually the cheap, staple, and obviously, triggering foodstuffs. There isn't much protein around ever so I'm always surrounded by things trying to drag me in. I've been trying to be a bit healthy (i.e., not purge) for the last half month but it's failing me. I can feel weight seeping on me and I fear I'll revert so square one. Can anybody suggest any inexpensive non triggering meals? Also, any methods would help a lot.
I hope you all stay safe and healthy. Much love.