Humpty Dumpty Has a Sad

Glenn Beck, whose crying towel doubles as a sarong, is having a righteous pout over a recent blog post of mine that made light of his lugubrious Israel-defense hour Friday on Fox News.

On his radio show, which isn't carried in New York City any longer for some sparkling reason, Beck and his lifeboat crew chatted about my post, with Beck pegging it as "the most anti-Semitic rant I've ever seen."

Since anything less than deferential obeisance to Israel is automatically slugged as anti-Semitic by the likes of Beck, David Horowitz, Pam Geller, et al, we need not let that detain us, but if he thought my deadpan description of his dolorous pantomime program was a "rant," he either doesn't know what a rant is or has become an old lady who needs to take her nerve tonic.

He also makes an anal fuss about my posting before his show was over. It's true. I did. I posted while the show was in progress and would have added a postscript if anything remarkable had happened in the last fifteen minutes. Nothing did. It was a talk show, after all, not an Antonioni movie, though Antonioni's facial, glacial studies of alienation would have been a picker-upper after this gray pill.

That he is portly is scientifically undebatable, and portly after all is such a jolly word, almost Dickensenian.

"Apocalypto"--well, that's putting it mildly. Hagee is the author of a survival guide to the Rapture and End Times which contains this good nugget of Biblical prophecy:

Satan’s seduction of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, leading to its destruction in the genesis of time, may have provided the oil that seduces the nations of the world to follow Russia and Iran into the Battle of Gog and Magog, and ultimately to Armageddon.

Hagee has also said that Katrina was a hurricane hurled from the pitcher's mound by God to prevent a "homosexual parade" from taking place. (h/t: ThinkProgress.)

And it was also Hagee who got his hippo ass into hot water when a tape surfaced of him saying the Holocaust was God's will and Hitler the genocidal instrument of that will because (according to Hagee) God's "top priority for the Jewish people [was] to get them to come back to the land of Israel." (h/t: Sam Stein, Huffington Post.)

God works in mysterious ways, but even so, WTF.

The bromance between Pastor Hagee and Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu is the crowning example of the depraved tango of Christian fundamentalists and Zionist zealotry, and Dore Gold's participation on Beck's show typifies that moral, political, strategic, and pragmatic pandering.

But that doesn't mean the rest of us have to play along.

Word came over the weekend that Glenn Beck is moving out of the tri-state area--good; go already--and will set up his own comedy club of the airwaves to reach the yoof of America with his special puckish brand of infotainment.