Nintendo is a Failure.

WARNING 1.0: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS PROFANE LANGUAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (But come on, we're all grown ups over here... I guess.)

WARNING 1.1: This article has the finality to do some bad, immature humor and maybe to show some valid points. (if you find any.) If you can't take a joke and relax a little bit or if you came here to "win" any kind of argument, I suggest you to try to lick your own anus.

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Nintendo definitely is a failure(and Micro$oft's Little Litterbox is next)

Oh dear reader, I can imagine what sort of thoughts are passing in your head right now. Things like: "Damn, another PlayStation fanboy." or "Clearly this douchebag didn't had a childhood." or even "HOW DARE THIS MORTAL TO SPEAK SUCH BLASPHEMY OF OUR SUPREME DEITY?!?! I HOPE THIS BASTARD PERISH IN HELL WITH A WII CONTROLER UPON HIS ARSEHOLE!!!".

Ok, now let me explain myself and put some valid points to prove what I'm saying before some 80's kid or Japanese teenager breaks into my house and slaughter me in the middle of the night after many hours of merciless torture.

Yo dawg, I heard you like to play shit while you shit!

Nintendo started as a card company in the 80's (the 1889's), launching a card game called Hit-A-Fucka or some shit like that. Later they did a random of other business: as a taxi company, a "Love-hotel" chain (WHAAAATT?) , a Television network and a food company selling instant rice. (why that last one didn't surprised me?).

(un)incredibly, all that shit failed.

So, some vagabond called Miyamoto was responsible for the technological advance of Nintendo. (You can blame him for bringing the Metal Gear series, The Legend of Zelda and some of the Mario games too.) In the next decade, nintendo cruelly ruined the future of another emerging and innocent company: Sega. (by outselling their S/NES against Sega's Genesis).

If you don't believe in half of the crap what I'm saying, you might check this out. And this:

Miyamoto surely looks happy

"Enough of the history lesson, history is for losers." -Adolf Hitler, 15 minutes before attacking Russia. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WINTER.

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Most Actual Nintendo fans are:

1. From the Nintendo 64 and Gameboy Color eras. Whom couldn't get over the evolution of gaming and instead, their prefer to play nostalgic, childish,silly Funny games.

How am I supposed to play this? With three hands?

2. People that hate yearly rip-offs of the same game asMario Bros. Call Of Duty, Duh!

3. The guy who usually says "Gameplay over graphics, hUr DuR!"

Is the far right one next-gen nintendo?!

4. Kids who were tricked by their parents to buy a cheaper, inferior console.

BEHOLD MY PHOTOSHOP SKILLS!

5. Japanese people. They hate amurica and the Xbox, you know that. Why would they? Any sane person would have a little remorse 'cause 70 years ago, some freedom-setter country sent 2 atomic bombs to his homeland, simple as that.

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For the last decade a strange decay has starting to ravage this so beloved company. Its first users have grown up, and are not so longer interested on titles as Super Mario Kart or Pikmin. Reason for other companies been sought to satisfy the interests of a new generation of gamers, with more mature themes. Games are not anymore reserved only for kids. Videogames aren't only about fun, are about a fantastic story to be told. And well, if you want new consumers, you must change your way to tell that story.

The only reason I would buy one of these.

Unfortunately, Nintendo hasn't grow up. That, added with some stupid moves they did, (As banning youtubers for showing their games on the internet or launching a 2012 console with a 2005 software) are marking its steps to a bitter downfall. If Nintendo doesn't change real soon, their one-hundred-years-empire might collapse in 20 years.

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Once again, don't take this blog too seriously. I don't have the intention to injure the sensibility of anyone.

So, what are you thoughts about Nintendo last actions? Do you agree with this moronic rant or not? Leave your thoughts in the commentaries and suggestions for the improvement of this blog, if you want.

(See any grammar errors? Pardon me, nobody is born knowing english.)

Over and out,

--M.P.

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Michael is a 16-year-old really applied vagabond Student, currently residing in a southern city of Brazil.

If you want to read more debauchery, moronic articles or some worthless opinions about gaming, check his blog out or add him at PSN!