Halloween special - tips to fight what scares you

Halloween is supposed to be a spooky night for children. But the most fearful people in the world are – women. Dr. Gina Barreca says what none of us want to hear or believe: “Fear is a matriarchy; fear is passed down through mothers.”

Women’s Biggest Fear: Aging

Of course, we worry about the important things: Staying healthy and our families’ health and happiness is paramount. Aside from that, women fear aging. And what do they fear most about aging? Everything. A survey of women ages 13-77 revealed common fears:

• How will I handle the loss of sex and intimacy?
• I don’t want to lose my looks and feel pressured to have cosmetic surgery.
• I won’t be able to handle the pain of losing my partner.
• My profession defines me. If I lose my job and can’t work because of my age, who will I be?
• What if I am old and penniless? I don’t want to be a bag lady.
• What if I’m alone?
• What if I can’t take care of myself?
• What if I get Alzheimer’s?
• What if I never have a partner/children/grandchildren?

You can’t “cure” aging, and like they say – it beats the alternative. Your attitude can be fear-based or it can be one of appreciation for and joy of living. Attitude is a choice. If your fears of poverty are reality-based, you can make decisions now that will offer added security later.

Fear of Public Speaking

One of the most prevalent fears among people of every gender, every level of achievement is public speaking “The fix is to tackle it with baby steps,” says author Laura Bates. The first step is to ask a question in public. Sign on for small speaking parts in comfortable surroundings, then work your way up. You don’t have to “picture them naked;” some of them look funny with their clothes on.

Fear of Screwing Up

When you’ve set high professional goals for yourself that include being insanely intelligent, cheerful, energetic... What happens if you have one of “those days” and the people you want to impress most see you at your worst? The solution is to treat yourself as you would a co-worker. Be supportive and accepting of yourself. It happens to all of us; it’s okay. “Being a nice person includes being nice to you,” says journalist Alix Fox

‘Free-Floating Anxiety’

Journalist Janice Turner says sometimes, anxiety manages to creep its way in no matter what, and many women would agree that they often stress-out even though their situation hasn’t changed. Turner says the best way to deal with “free-floating anxiety” is exercise. She says something strenuous “like a boot camp” or swimming a half-mile gets her mind wandering and she can feel her spirits lift. “No one ever got happier sitting inside alone being gloomy. Go for a walk!”

Treat Yourself

Holmes Place professionals understand the physical and emotional needs of women of every age, including how, though your body changes, an attitude of youth and optimism begins with overall wellness. Your health, beauty, and spirituality cannot be neglected because others depend on you. You depend on you.