Sam is the perpetual 'good boy' who always tries to do right. His confusion over why bad kids get all the attention was covered in #263: “When Bad Isn't So Good”. Sam hangs around with Lucy Cunningham-Schultz, who is just like him. He used to be friends with Butch, but when Butch joined the Bones of Rath, the friendship soured. Though accused of being a goody-two-shoes, Sam is a solid (if sometimes boring) role model. He was briefly involved in the Israelites.

Contents

Family

Quotes

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Sam Johnson: You know it’s times like this when I wish I was a superhero. Then I could catch these guys before they do stuff like this.Connie Kendall: <laughing> Yeah, that's just what we need—Super Sam!Sam Johnson: Dum da daaa!

Rusty Gordon (Malone): Would you like it if someone bad-mouthed your dad?Sam Johnson: You did one time.Rusty Gordon (Malone): Uhhhhh... did you like it?Sam Johnson: No!Rusty Gordon (Malone): Well, neither do I.

Sam Johnson: I got a new bike. It's a 10-speed.Brian Evans: Oh, boy, I bet it goes fast.Sam Johnson: It does, I even got a speedometer for my birthday. I got it up to almost forty-five miles an hour once going downhill.Brian Evans: Really? Can a person breathe going that fast?

Bernard Walton: Is that the only reason you wanna do good things—to get noticed?Sam Johnson: No, I wanna do them because I know it's right. But being right all the time doesn't get me praise from teachers or free ice cream from Whit's End!Bernard Walton: So what?Sam Johnson: Huh?Bernard Walton: You heard me; so what? Sam, doing good is its own reward, and I got news for you: it always pays off! Sometimes in ways you can't see—in fact, most times in ways you can't see. But it always does, because doing what's right pleases God! And that's the most important thing, now, isn't it?

Sam Johnson: Mr. Whittaker, I can't believe I caused all of that. Just because I didn't keep my mouth shut.John Whittaker: Well, most of us suffer from that problem. It's easy to criticize, to pour cold water on people's ideas and dreams. But encouraging people, even those that want to do seemingly impossible things, can be very hard. Yet, it's probably what they need from us the most.

Rusty Gordon: You really don't know any [dirty jokes]?Sam Johnson: No.Rusty Gordon: Well, maybe you can make one up. Let me help you. Try to think of the three most disgusting things you've ever heard of.Sam Johnson: What?Rusty Gordon: Okay, I got mine. You got yours?Sam Johnson: No.Rusty Gordon: All right, I'll let you use mine. Number one...Sam Johnson: <interrupting> I don't wanna hear this.Rusty Gordon: You know, you're really not getting into the spirit of this. Maybe we need to smear some pimento cheese or something on your face. That'll get you thinking disgusting thoughts.

Sam Johnson: I'm Sam Johnson, and I don't do anything. I'm a kid!Harlow Doyle: Is that with an "i" or a "y"?Sam Johnson: "Kid" is spelled with an "i."Harlow Doyle: Oh. Well I was talking about "Johnson," but since you brought it up...

Sam Johnson: All I know is that I'd still be your friend if you quit being Butch and started being Brian again.Brian Evans: Brian's gone.Sam Johnson: That's too bad. Let me know if he comes back. I miss him.

Sam Johnson: We recorded a tape of the agents confessing that they rigged the test results!Philip Glossman: Excuse me! Ah, hold on, hold on. Philip Glossman here. On behalf of the state government, I demand that you give me that tape.Eugene Meltsner: With all due respect, Mr. Glossman... we'd rather make two dozen copies, and then give you the tape!

Harlow Doyle: Mr. Whittaker isn't sick, but being held captive against his will!Sam Johnson: By Eugene?Harlow Doyle: One and the same. I know the type -- meek and passive on the outside. But inside rages the violent fires of a volcano, ready to explode in a colorful cataclysm of -- Uh, what was I talking about?