Consider the old movie cliche of a street punk, or a drunk in a bar, who unwittingly picks a fight with a Martial Artist. According to the usual script, the Villain attacks with much enthusiasm and gets calmly "put away" by the Hero. As with many forms of entertainment, it's part truth and part crap.

In the real world it happens less than you might think for a variety of reasons. For the moment, let's take a closer look and see what lessons in that scenario can make you more valuable to your employer.

The first illusion is that the aggressor wants to "fight". That's right - the most basic assumption is all smoke and mirrors.

Much like in the rest of the Animal Kingdom(1), the posturing, cursing, and chest-puffing is a display designed to mark territory, impress females, and establish "Alpha Male" status. To be sure, this sometimes leads to violence, but usually the display is the whole point.

In the workplace, this often takes the form of a customer who didn't get extra pickles on their Barker Burger™ and blows a gasket over it.

In both cases the Real Issue is something that's going on "off camera"; and in both cases the secret is to NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THE ILLUSION. What you're seeing is almost always the SYMPTOM - not the problem. The Great Pickle Riot of Last Wednesday happened because the customer feels powerless, and pushed around in other areas of her life. Since she can't really pour her anger down on her boss, husband, kids, or plumber, it lands on you because you're a safe target. Of course it's not right, but it's quite common; and if you're prepared, you can turn a potential "problem" into a customer for life. (In the case of the Honky Tonk Hippopotamus, the desired outcome is different, but the technique is the same.)

What she needs at that point (besides pickles), is for you to listen to her! When she walks out of the restaurant with her sandwich the way she likes it, SHE HAS FINALLY WON! It's just pickles to you, but to someone who feels bullied by the whole world, that victory is as precious and sweet as any of Bruce Lee's battles. It's a story she's going to tell her friends and re-live with EVERY RETURN VISIT to Barker Burger™. It's the return visits - with her friends - that YOU have made possible by giving her this victory. You listened, and became an ally instead of another enemy. You absorbed her initial attack, and turned it into a win for everyone.

In the case of the Bar-nocerous, he's probably a big guy who's confused about the difference between Fear and Respect. He was the Big Man On Campus in High School, but now everyone who's telling him what to do is smaller than he is. Hell, even his wife can make him miserable, and she's just a Little Bitty Thing. Again, though, his true objective is hidden; once you look past the bluster and "give him his pickles" (let him be the Alpha Male), he has all the victory he needs. (Fortunately, the easiest way is also the best; just leave. Better yet, don't be there in the first place. Self defense at its finest!)

The secret to letting the emotions slide by and dealing only with the facts, is to not take it personally. It's not about you. (It rarely is.)

There are some additional factors here which are very important:

If this is the third time this month that the sandwich was wrong, you have some tightening up to do. In this case, it's at least partly about you. Here's how to tell the difference; if the freak-out is out of proportion to the mistake, it's them. If they're just being snippy because they told you, you still screwed it up (again), and now they're late for work, it's you. (BONUS PSYCHOLOGY TIP: If you find yourself losing your mind because you didn't get your pickles, look around for things that you need to deal with. You're welcome.)

I am, of course, using pickles as a metaphor(2). Every person who deals with customers will face this challenge at some point. Sometimes it takes more than nasty, foul-smelling ex-cucumbers to make someone happy. Early in your working life, the "fix" is fairly inexpensive, but as you move on to selling cars, or building houses, things can become a bit more complicated. At that point your obligation to your boss will mean that Cost Control is a bigger issue. (We'll explore "Managing Expectations" in a later article.)

Some customers won't be satisfied. Some people abuse the system by complaining about everything until they get free stuff to shut them up. At some point you need to talk to your boss about "Refusing Service". (Sometimes the Bar-rangutang isn't content with marking his territory. Sometimes, the mugger doesn't want your wallet. In these cases, their Broken-ness is driving them to look for Victims, and Not Being There is far more effective than Leaving.)

In any event, the discipline of Martial Arts (and of The Workplace) requires Mastery of Self. If you yell back at the customer (or even get a little snippy yourself), you have LOST. Lost the customer, lost your chance to turn a Negative into Positive, and (if you work for Barker Burger™), you've lost your job. (Poking Bar-Zilla in the eye carries its own set of risks.)

In "The Art Of War" (a book that is at LEAST 2,500 years old), Sun Tzu said, "The battle is won in the mind, before the first blow is ever struck." Responding to emotions with your mind gives you the advantage. Responding with emotions is what children do and rarely produces desired results.

Peace be with you.

(1) For many years I made a living playing music. Sometimes in VERY nice places, and sometimes in Honky Tonk dives that make "Roadhouse" look like High Tea with The Queen. From my vantage point on stage, I was able to watch the Human Condition like Homo Sapiens Week on the Discovery Channel. (I'm going to enjoy writing that book!)

(1a) Many of these observations were drawn from that experience, but some derive from a VERY good (and very intense) website called "No Nonsense Self-Defense". The reader is cautioned; my writing is "a bit spicy" in the language department. His gets Real in a hurry.

(2) It's one of only two uses that I have for pickles. The other is to freeze them and load cannons with them to fire at The Enemy. I hate pickles.

When a student (or an Instructor) walks into the Training Room ("Dojo") it is customary to bow, as a show of respect. It's general respect is for the Instructor, the specific style of Martial Art being taught, the thousands of years of History behind the style, all past Instructors, and for fellow students in the class that day.

It doesn't take away anything from the student. in fact, by acknowledging his place in a system that is worthy of respect, the student is declaring his own place in the system, and therefore claiming respect himself. There is power in knowing that you are being respected; by your fellow students, by the Instructor, and most importantly, by yourself. (Almost everything starts there.)

While nobody expects you to bow at the door of your workplace, there is value (and power) in understanding your role in the business. This part is HUGE, so I'm going to say it BIG:

WHEN YOU AGREE TO WORK FOR SOMEONE,

YOU AGREE TO PUT THEIR NEEDS AHEADOFYOUROWN!!!

While you're "on the clock", you are being paid to make the business your first priority. One of the most common complaints I hear from employers is that they have to "babysit" their workers, just to make sure they're doing WHAT THEY AGREED TO DO WHEN THEY WERE HIRED!

They're being paid by the hour, which means that they're also being paid by the minute, so every minute they spend texting or talking on the phone is a minute that THEY'RE STEALING FROM THE COMPANY!

Sounds extreme, I know, but those minutes add up, especially with bigger employers. Ten employees talking on the phone for ten minutes is nearly TWO HOURS of labor that was paid for, but NOT received! This doesn't include the lack of focus on the job, and telling co-workers about the latest Drama (sucking their time away, too).

Most employers are OK with the occasional, brief, "ride home" call, but it's a privilege that is easily and frequently abused by workers who can't understand how anybody (or any business) could be more important than their own "situation".

Here's why putting their needs first is GOOD FOR YOU:

1. It's rare; and RARE THINGS ARE VALUABLE!

2. Your promise to do well may be the only thing you have to sell. Even if you have a degree, you're being paid to ADD VALUE to someone else's TEAM. If you want to be in charge, open your own business.

3. When the Team succeeds, individuals prosper; and Engaged Team Members are first in that line.

4. When the Team struggles - or fails - blame starts being spread around, and self-centered, "problem" employees are first in THAT line.

5. As an Engaged Team Member, you're making your boss look good, and possibly getting him promoted. This leaves a possible opening for you!

6. When that opening is discussed, you're not in the room. The only thing that speaks for you is your reputation.

7. You're not just taking out the trash; you're letting the boss do HIS job without wasting his time on entry-level tasks.

8. When the boss has to get involved with entry-level tasks, things are not going well and there is a correction coming. Do NOT be the cause of that!

Respecting the Workplace also means making sure that the Customer has a positive experience with the Company. When you're talking to a customer, you ARE the company (at least in their mind), and how you deal with their needs (and especially their complaints!) will make a HUGE difference in your life (I'm NOT exaggerating here). Do you want to be the reason that they complain to the Manager, or do you want to be the person that makes sure that the Customer Comment cards are handy for compliments?

THE RIGHT BOSS

These are some of your responsibilities to your employer. More importantly, they are a guide to a mindset that will bring you good results over time. Responsibility goes both ways, though, and your company has obligations to you also; a safe environment, the tools and training, and clear instructions. We'll go over how to deal with a difficult boss in another article, but your first responsibility is to make sure that you're not the problem.

THE RIGHT TEAM

There are times when company-oriented workers are ridiculed and harassed by other employees. (We'll cover that later as well.) To be sure, you don't want to earn the title of "Brown-Noser" (or other such nonsense) by being false, "sucking up", or making yourself look good at the expense of others. This breaks down the team and does no good for anyone. At the same time, however, you must understand that YOU - AND NOBODY ELSE - will determine your future.

ONE MORE MAJOR BENEFIT:

You will be tested.

There will come a time when you must decide what to do without clear instructions or guidance. In that moment, if your focus is on what's good for the Company and the Customer, your choice will become clear. Even if it's not the perfect solution, it's likely to be one that everyone can live with, until you get new information. Those are mistakes that a Boss usually finds it easy to forgive.

If, on the other hand, you take the lazy way, or worse, make the Customer suffer in any way - even an "eye roll" - you mark yourself as a problem employee. The Company would be better off with you working for their competitors, sucking out their resources and pissing off their customers.

Here's how those worn-out phrases can help get you a job (or get you promoted), First let's make sure we agree on what they mean; performing up to your limits, and then pushing past them through sheer will and determination because you're a badass.

An athlete finds her limit at the gym and then sets up a workout schedule to exceed it by a little bit every time. This limit isn't just where she gets tired; it's the point where muscle tissues actually start to break down, and ithurts. The body responds to the demand by growing more muscle, and the athlete has added to her mental "toughness".

The amount of weight doesn't matter; a 96-pound gymnast will have a different limit than a 300-pound bodybuilder, but "The Burn" - and the Victory - are exactly the same.

A similar process occurs when you have a difficult job to do. A mile of fence to build, a big yard to mow, a restaurant-sized pile of dishes, a big homework assignment; anything can test you. EVERY ONE of those real-world tests shows you who you are and forces you to decide who you will become.

Passing those tests - pushing through your limits - leaves a Mark on you. Doing it on a regular basis - by habit - makes that Mark stand out. People recognize it. Even if they don't know what it is, they know you're a badass. It's like a secret club; so secret that many of its own members don't even know they're in the club. (More accurately, they just don't think about it. Farmers, Oil Field and Utility Company workers all consider it part of the job. Soldiers, Cops, Nurses, Firemen; they know they're on an elite team.)

Sometimes it means working through the pain of an injury. CAUTION - This requires that you know your True Limitations! You have to know when to push on, when to stop, and when to go to the hospital. No matter how much Grit and Determination the 96-pound gymnast has, if she picks up the Olympic Heavyweight's barbell, she's going to blow her spleen out the back of her leotard.

How do you know your limits? By constantly bumping up against them wherever they are. A musician learning a difficult song, a student with an impossible math problem; staying with it until YOU WIN.

Old folks used to say, "It builds Character" (and for generations, young folks have hated hearing it), but the truth is that a person with "Character" is easily recognized by other people "with Character". You WILL NOT make it to Management without some degree of "Character". The person interviewing you for a job has that Mark, and they're looking for it in you, and here's why; because it's RARE, and…

RARETHINGSAREVALUABLE!

A person with "Character" (The Mark) walks in to a job interview with a firm handshake, looks the interviewer in the eye and says, "I'm the one you need. You can count on me."

Without it, the applicant steps in timidly, hoping that someone "gives" them a job. They don't really even want the job - just the paycheck - and THE INTERVIEWER KNOWS THAT!

Many people (maybe most) are in the second category. Lots of times they even get hired, because the company needs to fill the position, and that's the best that they can get at the time. What they're looking for, though, is that first category person. They need the "Get the job done no matter what" Team Member, and they're usually willing to pay them more, once they know that you're for real.

A SURPRISING SECRET:

This is, obviously, an "Old School" concept. As our technology develops, we no longer have to draw water from the well and chop firewood to heat it, so a lot of the things that tested previous generations no longer exist. Your grandfather's life was so physically demanding that the idea of paying to go to a gym was too silly to think about.

So what's The Secret?

Most people in Leadership positions today were either IN that generation, or were raised by people in that generation. They shake their heads at "kids these days", and wonder why one little bitty nail in the bottom of a foot can bring a whole construction project to a halt. (Extreme example, I know, but you get the point.) Meanwhile, the "kids these days" (the ones without The Mark) can't understand why the Boss is such a jerk about cell phones at work.

BALANCE

I've used extreme examples here, but the Truth (as usual) is somewhere in the middle. It's your responsibility to complete the tasks given to you. More than anything else, your employer needs to be able to rely on you to do it well, on time, and without wasting resources. It's the employer's responsibility to make sure you know what's expected, and that you have the tools you need to get it done. As each party comes to trust the other, growth occurs naturally, without excessive damage to muscle tissue (or leotards).

]]>http://tonybarkermusic.com/speaking/the_markFri, 26 Jul 2013 00:00:00 -0700Tony Barker | Songwriter. Speaker. Entertainer. | Speaking"Martial Arts In The Workplace"http://tonybarkermusic.com/speaking/martial_arts_in_the_workplace
"Martial Arts In The Workplace" uses thousand-year-old-training concepts to transform entry-level employees into engaged Team Members. A separate course, designed specifically for first-time Team Leaders and Supervisors, will focus on how to create and maintain that level of Engagement on the job.

Obviously, it's not about fighting. It's not really about "discipline" either, although the benefits of self control are a consistent theme.

Labor is almost always the biggest expense in business; whether it's the biggest asset or the biggest headache is frequently a matter of expectations. The place where the concepts of Martial Arts and Engaged Employees come together is first in the mind. Techniques and training, and having the right tools all matter, of course, but the true foundation is the expectation of excellence - AS DEFINED BY THE EMPLOYER -in both employees and management.

High schools (and even colleges) are institutions that exist almost exclusively for the benefit of the student. Business have a different set of priorities, and if the new employee (even subconsciously) brings the "school" mindset into the workplace, conflict is inevitable. Indeed, many of the "problems" that employers deal with regularly - texting and socializing on the clock, "C" grade performance of tasks, treating customers casually (or even poorly) - are actually only symptoms of the real problem; focusing on their own priorities ahead of the companies.

Martial Arts, at its most basic, is the training of the mind to function at a high level when it matters the most. In conflict, the calm, focused mind - with a clear objective - will usually prevail, and this is true in business as well. The body is trained to channel an opponent's force; to re-direct it, or re-apply it as needed, and the employee is trained to take the hustle and bustle of business and create satisfied customers.

Fortunately, most people - even (and especially) young people - want to be on The Best Team, and they're more than happy to do what it takes to bring that about. The first thing for them to know is that that is what is expected! To be sure, they also need tools and training, but with the right mind set, even if the tools breaks down or unexpected situations arise the employees and your customers still know that yours is The Best Team.

"The battle is won in the mind before the first blow is struck." Sun Tzu, "The Art Of War"

Some people won't "get it". That's fine; we'd rather have them working for our competitors anyway; draining their resources and sending their customers to us.

Some people don't need this information. The oil field tends to re-align expectations fairly quickly on its own, the Military has Basic Training, and First Responders are following a Higher Calling.

For the majority of the country, however, tapping in to that "Higher Calling" mentality for new employees of a restaurant or retail store will involve doing so intentionally, and maintaining it will require consistent effort, which will be easier with the tools that I provide.

The presentation itself will draw upon my experience as a National Tournament-winning Martial Artist with years of teaching in Martial Arts and several other areas, as well as Management and real-world expertise gained in such varied industries as Manufacturing, Construction, Radio, Retail Sales, and owning small businesses.

To capture and retain the attention of my young Target Audience, I will use the skills, stage presence and entertainment value I've developed over thirty-plus years of being a professional musician, Radio personality, and comedian.