What the Hell is Brad Pitt Talking About?

We guess we should applaud Chanel for being bold enough to choose a male face for its iconic No. 5 perfume, though we will venture that Brad Pitt was hardly the riskiest choice. We always imagined his favorite scent to be some enticing combination of stale cigarettes and marijuana, but who are we to say?

On watching Mr. Jolie’s first spot for Chanel, we share a common response: What the hell is he talking about? And how will this string of cosmic nonsense inspire more people to buy Chanel?

Well, that was…pretentious. We can only assume that the “it” he mentions is life, the universe and everything. Double rainbow, man. Unfortunately, the second spot released today is no better:

Same blase imagery, same awful monologue…just add a couple of dime-a-dozen models and you’re golden!

Was this nonsense really worth $7 million? And can we get some decent copywriters to make sense of it? We’ll let the Chanel team figure that one out. For what it’s worth, though, the parodies are even worse.