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Q & A With Kay

Q: How do I improve my relationship with my significant other?

A: You improve any relationship by improving your relationship with yourself!

It’s all inside – every thought we have ever had in any of our lifetimes is stored inside of us – this is why we tend to repeat our life lessons. We blame the other people in our lives, thinking they are at fault, when they are really our beloved mirrors and are here to serve us, as we are here to serve each other. That’s what relationships are all about – we actualize ourselves through those interactions.

This is why we so often – almost always – need help to understand what it is we are really working out. Emotions surface and clash with the emotions of the other person we are in relationship with and we have a war going on. By the way, this is what happens collectively – it’s what IS happening collectively. Remember, BLAME is SHAME. So the first step is to realize that!

Then look inside. Who is your inner family? What events or trauma still impact you from childhood or adolescence? What are the banners your younger selves carry? “You don’t listen to me?” ” They didn’t see me?” “It isn’t fair?” “What’s the point?”

I often laugh when I think that we (our adult selves) think we are running our life – HA! we usually have several sub-personae programs running simultaneously – and we wonder why we feel crazy. And sadly, our most magical selves – the youngest- are often left out of our adult lives.

So, we must sit down with our younger selves and talk to them – feel their pain and futility and let them know that you are their older selves and you must come together and unite. Tell them that you will listen to them, you will see them, explain with wisdom why this isn’t a “fair planet” and that the point is that you have a mission and in order to fulfill that mission you have to come together.

When you shift the focus of your relationship issues to your inner self relationships, things will begin to shift.