Debate my (son's) life: school for the Deaf

My nine year old son is profoundly Deaf--almost totally Deaf. In the simplest terms, he hears a jet engine taking off, but it sounds the way picking up a piece of paper might to someone who has full or almost full hearing. He doesn't have intelligble speech, but he's an awesome lip reader and fluent in sign language.

For the first three years he was in school we had him in a mainstream school in a mainstream classroom with a sign language interpreter aide. We chose to put him in a mainstream classroom in a mainstream school because he is a twin and we didn't want to separate him from his twin sister (or his older sister).

This year, we found out on the first day of school that Andrew would not have an aide because his aide from the previous years transfered to a different school district in a different state over the summer and there was nobody qualified to take on her job. This seems like a load of horse poop to myself and my husband but that's their story and they're sticking to it.

We tried for two weeks with his twin sister and his older sister acting as interpreters, but it's exhausting and frustrating and way more pressure than we want to put on our girls, so after two weeks we pulled Andrew out of school and have been homeschooling him, but we want him back in public school for a number of reasons.

We found a great school in the city we live in that has a Deaf school alongside a hearing program, which we loved because it would allow our girls to go to school with their brother which is really important for all of our kids. However, that school only goes to 8th grade. However, there is an absolutely fantastic dedicated school for the Deaf with a residential program that goes up to 12th grade and offers services for adults including services to go on to college. The academic programs also look better, but again it's a residential program, which means that he would live at school for the school year and come home during holidays, and we would also drive up (it's 4 hours away) on weekends to either visit him or bring him home.

He would have to transfer to the school with the residential program after 8th grade anyway. My husband sort of feels like "the sooner the better" and that if we start him at that school earlier it won't be as hard, because we'll have four years to stress about the fact that he's going to go to the school. That makes sense, and I agree, but he's still my baby!

We asked him how he feels about it, and he likes the dedicated school for the Deaf "better" (we toured both schools)--he liked the staff members, the environment, and he even found himself making friends on our weekend tour that he's looking forward to seeing again. Of course, he's scared to leave. He didn't find the staff as friendly at the other school and the other kids weren't as welcoming.

In this situation, would you send your nine year old to a school that was better for them in every way but would require him to live away from you for the school year? Or would you send him to a more mediocre school and delay the boarding school process?

Our two options are the residential school (where one way or the other he will attend after 8th grade) or the Deaf/mainstream school. There are no other programs in our state that can facilitate his specific needs.

I would do what is best for my child. I wouldn't want him to have a subpar education because it's more convenient I also only have one kid so I'd make sure to live close to a good school for his situation.

Honestly, I think that you need to fight more with the school district. They are required by law to have an aide for your son.

Yes yes yes! I will go look for the book I read about Deaf people (written by someone Deaf) and it was eye opening. People who can hear want their children to be "normal" but Deaf people do not see themselves having problems. As a hearing person if I had to go to an all Deaf school it would be frustrating for me. I know it would be hard letting your baby go but the benefits will far outweigh the negatives. I totally think you should!!