You don’t need to be one of the 1,900 guests at Westminster Abbey on Friday morning to be part of the biggest British wedding in three decades. The watch parties begin at 2 a.m.

Friday (the ceremony is at 4 a.m.) Denver time, with people throwing pajama-and-tea events, and stocking up on English food. Here’s a roundup.

Really, the bride and groom — and, Lord knows, their hypervigilant parents — did their best to keep the wedding tasteful, but guests (the uninvited ones) have produced enough kitsch to stock countless yard sales.

Sorry, Prince William and your about-to-be-royal fiancee, Kate Middleton, but the simple folk are bypassing the 26 charities you suggested in lieu of gifts. Instead, they are putting their pennies, pounds and dollars into commemorative teddy bears, Wedgwood plates, Crown Jewels souvenir condoms, tankards, champagne flutes, shopping bags and other nuptial novelties.

Anglophiles in the metro area can buy tea towels, mugs, plates, spoons, paper weights, magnets, pens, trinket boxes and key chains of Westminster Abbey at such spots as The English Tea Cup, 1930 S. Havana St., Aurora. But you’ll need to go online for the truly esoteric wedding flotsam, including:

Royal Prince William and Kate Middleton bobble-head dolls ($29.95)

“Hand-painted with an astounding” resemblance and a certificate of authenticity, says the description — and a bargain compared with other Wills and Kate bobble heads going for more than $80. Complete the set with a Princess Diana bobble head that has an astounding resemblance to Bill Clinton in drag ($279.95), or a young Prince William bobble head ($34.95).fadtoys.com

The online craft store etsy is an excellent source for tacky wedding souvenirs, with various needlepoint patterns, along with Royal Wedding Soap ($2.50).

Pylones-USA’s KaTea and William tea bags with upper-torso cutouts, arms extended wide at their sides to rest comfortably on a tea cup, as if they’re soaking in a hot tub. Only they’re wearing their finest clothes.

Pragmatic graphic designer Lydia Leith came up with these, thinking they will be handy for anyone who feels the royal festivities are over the top.

Kate Middleton Royal Engagement & Royal Wedding vinyl portrait doll set by the Franklin Mint ($490)

Both must be “preordered” for post-wedding delivery this summer.

Niue, New Zealand, Royal Wedding postal stamp

Kate Middleton and Prince William are connected only by a perforated line on this commemorative stamp from the island of Niue. The British press already is hounding Niue for a design that splits the royal couple, should customers decide to use the stamps on mail — not to mention that the prince’s stamp is worth 75 cents more than his fiancee’s. So much for being equally yoked.

Possibly the most valuable, and most careless, wedding souvenir is Guandong Enterprises Ltd.’s mug displaying a photo of Kate with a photo identified as Prince William, but in fact it’s his red-headed brother, Prince Harry. Oops.

Type “royal wedding” in the search bar, and you’ll find 23 yoga mats for royals fans and the anti-royal wedding crowd alike. Choices include “Kate stole my husband” and “Royal Wedding Crasher.” There are also T-shirts and tank tops printed with such sentiments as “It Should Have Been Me.”

Spain came under repeated attack starting Thursday in what authorities called linked terrorist incidents, when a driver swerved a van into crowds in Barcelona’s historic Las Ramblas district, killing more than a dozen people and injuring scores of others. Early Friday, an attempted attack unfolded in a town down the coast

If there’s one superhero character whose rise might be most tied to the events of World War II, it is Captain America, who emerged from the minds of legends Joe Simon and Jack Kirby and sprung forth from an iconic 1941 debut cover on which Cap smacks Hitler right in the kisser.

A customer dining at Washington’s Oceanaire restaurant noticed an unusual line at the bottom of his receipt: “Due to the rising costs of doing business in this location, including costs associated with higher minimum wage rates, a 3% surcharge has been added to your total bill.”