Taylor Berman

In a story that lacks an easy song-based joke, "Doin It" rapper and professional hat wearer LL Cool J thwarted a home robbery this morning by detaining the potential burglar after a physical confrontation. According to the Los Angeles Times, the hip-hop legend was upstairs in his Studio City home when he heard a noise from his kitchen. Because he's clearly one of the strongest people in the world, J went down to investigate.

The intruder then "came at" at LL Cool J, who, using the fighting skills Chris O'Donnell probably taught him in between "NCIS:Los Angeles" takes, proceeded to absolutely beat the shit out of the guy. The burglar ended up with a broken nose and a broken jaw after what a police source described as a "knock-down, drag-out" fight. LL Cool J is fine, though, according to a statement released to the AP.

"LL Cool J, and his family, are safe and thank everyone for their thoughts and concern," said a statement released by his publicist, Rhett Usry. "As a father, husband and citizen, he is committed to keeping his family safe and is cooperating with authorities on this private matter."