We Need to Stop Shaming Our Own Gender

Stephanie Jules

For years women have fought to get to a place of recognition and respect. Now in 2013 we have attained much of what was wanted, but still we have a few things holding us back. In my opinion one of the main things we have that holds us back is the shame and disrespect we place on ourselves. We are all guilty of it, and everyday I am a victim or a perpetrator of it. We talk behind each others backs, we make fun of other women, or we judge them based on our beliefs and our way of living. I think it’s time we cut it out and look at the big picture. We are doing nothing but giving others the opportunity to make us feel as though we are being or doing something wrong.

One prime example in pop culture would be Miley Cyrus. I understand that not everyone particularly enjoys watching her now that her persona has changed, but does that really give us the right to call her a whore? My biggest problem with the entire Miley Cyrus fiasco was the reaction to her performance at the VMAs. Don’t get me wrong, I personally didn’t like the performance. From a spectator’s point of view, I thought it was too much and too confusing. But her performance wasn’t what got me upset, what really upset me was all the name calling done afterwards. She was called a whore, a slut, and white trash in numerous articles that I read. Now on stage with her was Robin Thicke, a man twice her age, who said himself that they had practiced the performance with the grinding and all, and he was fine with it. No one called him a pervert, no one talked about how he was a whore for having naked women parade around him in his music video for Blurred Lines. He was cool, he was praised; but Miley, for doing the same thing and putting on a PERFORMANCE, was slut-shamed to no end.

Now people may say Miley asked for it because she’s in the public eye, and she should know better. But what about the girl at your school, who made a mistake and hooked up with the wrong guy? He told everyone every sordid detail and now she’s a slut. Be honest with yourselves, if we can judge people based off of their sexual acts, what does that say about us? Why do we have the right to judge anyone based off of what they do in the bedroom. Even if its obvious to you, even if they rub it in your face, how does it affect you if someone is “slutty”? And why do we as women have to be the harshest critics of each other.

It is very saddening, but very true that women are more likely to bully other women for things they deem “incorrect”. Whether it be in regard to race, to fashion, to weight, or sex, women seem to be the meanest of them all. Now you may think, “I am not mean! I never do anything like that!”, more than likely you’re lying to yourself. I myself know that sometimes I get into my moods, where I have a no reason to be mean but I find myself taking my anger out on my girlfriends. I make snide comments, or I do mean things and it not necessary, and it sucks when it happens to me, but I still do it.

The thing is, all of this shit talking benefits no one. All we are doing is giving other people the okay to say these things about us. Once those flood gates are opened, they are almost impossible to close. I for one, want to fight against this shaming of women. I don’t want to have a daughter 15 years from now, and have her ask me why she has to hide certain things about herself, or why she is judged based off of her clothing selections.

We can be better and we can do better. The only way we will be able to make a change is to really think about what we are saying and what we should allow to be said about ourselves and others. If you wouldn’t want someone saying it about you, don’t say it about someone else. We all have things we go through and we all have burdens we carry. No one knows why we do the things we do but ourselves, so no one should be able to judge or label us but ourselves. So let’s stop the slut-shaming, the name calling, and judging and instead work on being the best version of ourselves and help empower other women to do the same.

Any thoughts on this article? Do you see these faults in your own life?