You know why it's hard to dislike Jim McMahon? This guy can barely remember his wife's name, forgets why he walked into a room, yet he's still drinking like a champ. Still throwing down Coors. Is that a blue Solo shot glass at a recent Kenny Chesney concert? If dementia and a damaged brain is going to turn him into a vegetable, he's at least going to party until the end. JUMP!

And here we thought Kyle Orton had given up the bottle for good. A trained spotter at Sandestin Village, a resort in Destin, Fla., snapped a shot on July 4 of the Dallas Cowboys QB keeping company with a bottle. Maybe it was a non-alcoholic brew. Yeah, not likely. What does this mean for the Internet? What does this mean for Dallas bars after tough losses? This could get good *rubbing hands together* - JUMP!

What have we learned from Rob Gronkowski about life over the last 12 months? Fist pumping, grinding on blondes, wearing Zubaz, being Team Leader of the JB's and having chicks cup your balls for Instagrams can all pay off. The Patriots tight end signed a six-year deal today worth $54 million. That's a HUGE deal for a guy who "still wears jeans from high school," according to his father. Just think of the beach house he can afford for Spring Break '13. It's on, beotches! JUMP!

Yesterday we ran photos of Jay Cutler at some famous Tennessee steeplechase event where he seemed to be bro'd out at a high level with his pink shirt and loafers. Chris in D.C. emailed us and said to look up a certain NFC West QB who was at a steeplechase event back in April. "Seems like going to a stupid horse race is suddenly the cool thing to do in the NFL," he wrote. Yep, Chris is right. We found our guy. JUMP!

Ho-hum. Dammit, how cool would it be to go back to your 22-24-year-old days and live life like Gronk and Team Jizz Blaster? From one city to the next. Tampa to Aruba, to Spring Break, to Boston, to the Playboy Mansion, back to Boston and then to Miami. That's in like 5 1/2 weeks. Seriously, if ESPN was to ever get in the 'reality' business, the time is now. Team Jizz Blaster on ESPN2 just going from city to city making bachelorette parties that much better. JUMP!

For those of you who were stuck at home during today's ceremonies at Fenway, you missed an apparently drunken Pedro Martinez and Kevin Millar standing on the Red Sox dugout and leading an awkward toast with fans. Yes, Pedro and Cowboy Up had bottles of grape juice in their hands, but we assume they were pounding something strong earlier in the day. Nothing makes us smile quite like drunken Pedro. One of the best. JUMP!

Three items stand out in this video from last night's Coyotes-Blackhawks NHL playoffs first-round game in Phoenix. (1.) St. Louis Blues fan is uber excited to be at a game featuring Phoenix & Chicago. (2.) Is Coyotes fan planning to take all five beer cups home with him? Having a hard time locating red Solo cups in the PHX, brah? (3.) Just look at the eyes on (we're calling her) Connie as she soldiers through OT. All kinds of f*cked up? JUMP!

You know how to get away with drinking beers during an NFL offseason and get away with it? Win a Super Bowl. The more we look into Eli Manning's April itinerary, the clearer it becomes that this guy just might be a closeted hardo looking to make his grand entrance onto the hardo scene. While Peyton is worrying about building a contender in Denver, Eli is sipping beers in Mississippi & Miami. Not even hiding the booze. JUMP!