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Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your stories here!

January 21st, 2002

Texas Version of Windows
Sent in by Allen Crise, Texas (of course)

Dear Customers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2002
TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of TEXAS. If you
have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The
TEXAS edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads:
WINDERS 02, with a background picture of Sam Houston superimposed on a Texas
flag. It is shipped with a Remember the Alamo screen saver. Please also
note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"

Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"

Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"

Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:

OK . . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right

Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat

Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin

Yes . . . . . . . . . yep

No . . . . . . . . . . noop

Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it

Go to. . . . . . . . over yonder

Back . . . . . . . . back yonder

Help . . . . . . . . hep me out here

Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit

Start . . . . . . . . . crank er up

Settings . . . . . . settins

Programs . . . . . stuff at duz stuff

Documents . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 02:

Tiperiter . . . . . . . . A word processing program

colerin book . . . . . a graphics program

cyferin mersheen . calculator

outhouse paper . . notepad

iner-net . . . . . . . . ..Microsoft Explorer4.0

pichers . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version if
y'all want.