"How to wash" guide for stinkers

64 posts in this topic

Lara Brooks 23

For some reason I'm having a run of bad luck regarding stinkers and I wonder if they actually know how to wash themselves. One client arrived at 7pm with whiffy pits so I suggested he had a shower, to which he replied "I had one this morning" . I commented that that was a long time ago, and thankfully he dutifully obliged and went for a scrub up. What I couldn't then understand is why he still stank afterwards; his armpits smelt of stale sweat and his cock was awful (so fishy that I could smell it from a few feet away!). I'm sure I would've gagged if I got closer, and thank god I don't offer OWO…got that condom on in double quick time to cover his rancid cock! Now, this man is married with children so I can't understand how he could get away with this when in a relationship . Does his wife not have a sense of smell or does she just avoid him? So, for the stinkers out there who either weren't taught how to wash properly by their parents or have forgotten, here are some ideas…

When you bath or shower put soap or gel onto your hands and get into those nooks and crannies…that includes your armpits, around your arsehole, in between your buttocks, and under your foreskin! Yes, if you have a foreskin you need to pull it back and get soaping, otherwise all that pee, sweat and pre-cum is still going to be there, and that doesn't smell very nice! If you can't pull it back go to your doctor.

Then, ideally, apply some anti-perspirant/deodorant to your armpits so that you stay sweet smelling and dryer for longer. You do not need to bathe in aftershave/spray your whole body in the stuff as this will come off on everything you touch and doesn't taste nice either!

I would apologise for the rant but sod it; consider this a verbal kick up the arse you stinky barstewards! Sort yourselves out. Wash as near to the start of the appointment as possible (and do it properly); us ladies should not have to put up with nasty niffs

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Scorchin 10

I would apologise for the rant but sod it; consider this a verbal kick up the arse you stinky barstewards! Sort yourselves out. Wash as near to the start of the appointment as possible (and do it properly); us ladies should not have to put up with nasty niffs

Thank you

TMI - as far as I can see absolutely no point to this post other than to let Lara let of steam.

Now the rant revels the real goddess - punters are 'stinky barstewards.'

I will refian from instructing WGs how to wash - although many do not realise that the smell of urine often permeates the lips and bush.

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SaSfan 10

For some reason I'm having a run of bad luck regarding stinkers and I wonder if they actually know how to wash themselves. One client arrived at 7pm with whiffy pits so I suggested he had a shower, to which he replied "I had one this morning" . I commented that that was a long time ago, and thankfully he dutifully obliged and went for a scrub up. What I couldn't then understand is why he still stank afterwards; his armpits smelt of stale sweat and his cock was awful (so fishy that I could smell it from a few feet away!). I'm sure I would've gagged if I got closer, and thank god I don't offer OWO…got that condom on in double quick time to cover his rancid cock! Now, this man is married with children so I can't understand how he could get away with this when in a relationship . Does his wife not have a sense of smell or does she just avoid him? So, for the stinkers out there who either weren't taught how to wash properly by their parents or have forgotten, here are some ideas…

When you bath or shower put soap or gel onto your hands and get into those nooks and crannies…that includes your armpits, around your arsehole, in between your buttocks, and under your foreskin! Yes, if you have a foreskin you need to pull it back and get soaping, otherwise all that pee, sweat and pre-cum is still going to be there, and that doesn't smell very nice! If you can't pull it back go to your doctor.

Then, ideally, apply some anti-perspirant/deodorant to your armpits so that you stay sweet smelling and dryer for longer. You do not need to bathe in aftershave/spray your whole body in the stuff as this will come off on everything you touch and doesn't taste nice either!

I would apologise for the rant but sod it; consider this a verbal kick up the arse you stinky barstewards! Sort yourselves out. Wash as near to the start of the appointment as possible (and do it properly); us ladies should not have to put up with nasty niffs

Thank you

So just to clarify, what you are saying is that a quick sluice of the dangly bits in the kitchen sink a couple of days before the appointment just doesn't cut the mustard?

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Lara Brooks 23

TMI - as far as I can see absolutely no point to this post other than to let Lara let of steam.

Partly true, but also to inform the guys who think that they are clean after just letting the water run down their backs (rather than soaping everywhere properly) that they are probably not as fresh smelling as they think.

Now the rant revels the real goddess - punters are 'stinky barstewards.'

Yup, the stinky punters are stinky barstewards. They may have nice personalities, arrive on time, but if they stink they stink and I don't like it.

I will refian from instructing WGs how to wash - although many do not realise that the smell of urine often permeates the lips and bush.

Oh no, go right ahead. I expect there are many people (male and female) who just don't realise how urine turns nasty very quickly when left on skin. That's why whenever I have a pee I rinse myself with water to freshen up. Likewise I wash myself in between rounds too to get rid of the taste/smell of condoms, etc.

MissCupcakesx 11

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Lara Brooks 23

So just to clarify, what you are saying is that a quick sluice of the dangly bits in the kitchen sink a couple of days before the appointment just doesn't cut the mustard?

From an environmental perspective I applaud your style; it's good to see the washing up water being used to it's maximum cleaning potential Perhaps if you could do the dishes an hour or so before the appointment that would be lovely

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japeries 10

When you bath or shower put soap or gel onto your hands and get into those nooks and crannies…that includes your armpits, around your arsehole, in between your buttocks, and under your foreskin! Yes, if you have a foreskin you need to pull it back and get soaping, otherwise all that pee, sweat and pre-cum is still going to be there, and that doesn't smell very nice! If you can't pull it back go to your doctor.

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Ghenghis 10

It is difficult as no matter how well you bathe and shower etc, you can always be caught out and that is when you really need a WG's environment to be conducive to getting back into mint condition, before and after the dirty deed.

Threads where WGs moan about punters using their loos before a punt amaze me, to my mind it is far better to ensure that all such elements are dispelled prior to a punt than to leave things to chance. However, when you do need to go then a bathroom conducive to being able not just to go but also to wash your bits afterwards so as to ensure they are sweetly smelling afterwards and tickety boo is essential.

I like to be nice and clean and I like to stay that way, when WGs assist me to be in that state it makes for a much better punt all round.

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Guest Xenia

Believe me, water alone would not have made my stinkers smell much better! I don’t even know soap would’ve done enough, perhaps Mr Muscle oven cleaner would be more up to the job

Lara, I had a client few months ago (I think I mentioned him on one of my posts on this board previosly), which just had a bath before opening the toom door to me in the hotel.

He was still wet, put the bathroom robe, but still was drying himself when I entered.

When I came to bathroom, I could see the bath water was running down the plug. When I seen this I thought: Brilliant, at least freshly scrubbed and washed client, who just had a bath! Unfortunately it was not so. Yes, his body smelled nice and clean, so its his hair, neck, under arms, etc. However, after an hour or so when I put my face a bit further on pass his balls, the surrounding area of his bumhole stank of excrement.

During this one hour while we were chatting, he did not had a dump either. So why his bum smelled of shit, when he just had a bath, and why he did not washed it properly when he had a bath? He washed the rest of the body after all. Its just does not make sense.

BTW: he was a very nice chap and all that, and was not offended (I think) when I mentioned it to him, and then talked him into if I can wash his arse myself for him. I was very surprised, that he agreed. ;-)

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Ghenghis 10

There are alot of people who fail to understand the reasons for washing and I can not understand how anyone can have BO at 7 in the morning:confused:

the same old line "but i'm allergic to deodrant" is cr*p these days so take heed everyone and scrub up.

Everyone needs an out put and if this has helped our Lara let off steam the you go girl

I am not allergic to deodourant but using it under my arms brings me out in a very bad and painful rash (Including the so called hypo allergenic ones).

However a good shower at the start of the day and close attention if you think you are getting a bit whiffy during the day, and also the ability to ask a WG if she minds if you have a shower before you get down to business often makes for a better punt.