Sunday, March 15, 2009

I was a happy Adult Swim viewer a few years ago, discovering Family Guy for the first time during the stoner hour on Cartoon Network every night, when Fox Television rejects were resurrected like Lazarus by a geeky Jesus. And I was a happy Fox Television viewer when Family Guy was resurrected like Jesus, seemingly out of its own being, because of the good it had contributed to the world, the sacrifice it had made for the cultural benefit of us all: the satirical lens focused on everyone, and actions or trends were ridiculed with the fierceness Christ displayed in the Temple when he discovered the unconscionable practices going on behind those doors.

The show has appeared to lose something in its new incarnation, as though instead of being happy with the time it was given to do more good works it is desperate to prove that it deserves more than a short coda. The new jokes are concentrated stoner-joy, but at an hour the stoners aren’t paying attention to. And I think desperation has sunk in. Like South Park, which decided that it wasn’t enough to push arbitrary cultural and political boundaries and instead began trying to trigger America’s gag reflex with a Paris Hilton-Mister Slave gross off, Family Guy has become too hard to watch.

I’m not talking about the extended Conway Twitty performance on tonight’s episode (either a desperate time-fill for a show whose writers are dry, or a genuine joke for a show whose writers are boring). I didn’t even see that part of tonight’s episode, because I had already turned the show off.

Tonight Seth McFarlane decided that it would be great (hilarious? controversial? thought-provoking? satirical?) to joke about Peter shaking his first son, Peter Jr., to death because he wanted the baby to be quiet.

I couldn’t watch any more of it after that.

Although I’ve been writing this as though what’s changed is the show, really it’s me. I doubt that three years ago I’d have seen that segment and reacted at all severely. But it’s clear that I am no longer Family Guy’s audience. Because Seth McFarlane and his writers don’t have respect for the same things that I do. Maybe we agree about a wide range of cultural practices that can be mocked or satirized. Maybe we agree about politicians and entertainers being fair game for ridicule. But I can’t hear a shaken-baby joke and think “hilarious!” or “yeah, stick it to those parents, taking infant mortality so seriously! Lighten up.” It’s clear that I don’t have the same sense of humour anymore.

This isn’t a “come boycott Family Guy” with me message. It’s not a “Family Guy needs to change!” message. I don’t care, at all, what Seth McFarlane has to say on his show anymore; I’m not starting a crusade to get it off the air. I’m not even sure that the joke itself is unconscionable or anything so dramatic. It just occurs to me, now, that I am a different person and this is part of what it means to have a child of my own.

It means I laugh when my daughter says “ribbit!” for no reason whatsoever.

59 comments:

My husband and I turned off Syriana after the kid falls in the pool and gets electrocuted. Same thing. It was just too difficult to watch, and in addition we couldn't stomache being targeted and manipulated that way as parents.

These are the things you just experience once having kids. They can't be explained.

Actually, I think you do have a point about Family Guy changing. I used to love Family Guy in its original incarnation. And yet, now I find that there are shows like last night's that I watch and don't laugh at all. I think the writers have grown so desperate for a "joke" that they've forgotten what's not funny (five effing minutes of Conway Twitty) and what should never be joked about (shaking a baby). Maybe I've just matured too, but I'm still in the target demographic for Family Guy and this week I just didn't see what was so funny.

I can't watch psychological thrillers or horror movies anymore (since I had kids). It's all too real and scary now. It's funny..most days I barely feel like an adult, but when it comes to things that are funny or not; important or not, I guess I've just grown up. Odd how kids change us.

We haven't watched Family Guy in quite a while, but I can definitely see what you're saying. There are times I can hardly stand to watch the sick kid story lines on shows like ER or Grey's Anatomy! It's difficult to find those things entertaining when you have a kid of your own. Times do change after kids, don't they?

I'll just go ahead and "de-lurk" to agree with you. I was also watching Family Guy last night, and I told my husband that 1) the writers were completely high and I didn't get it anymore and 2) we're not the right audience anymore.

Yeah, those shows aren't nearly as funny to me now that I'm a mom. I also have a very high freak out factor at movies with trampy teen girls and rampant drug use. That stuff was hilarious before i had kids, now? Not so much.

Although I'd have to say, even if I didn't have kids, a baby getting shaken to death is just never really funny.

Thankfully, I did not see Family Guy last night. I watch snippets of it here and there and I usually laugh but the scene you described in your post would not have sat well with me either. Let's just hope it was a grave error in judgment by the writers.

I have the epidsode DVR'd, but haven't watched it yet. Now I'm pretty sure I don't want to (even though I can argue with you and say that 5 minutes of Conway Twitty is hilarious -- but I live in Oklahoma, so I digress). I find the show hilarious and raunchy, but I have no desire to see someone mock shaken baby syndrome. I'll agree with Daddy Files that it's hard to start drawing lines, but there are some things that are just uncomfortable to watch.

I'm with you, though. I won't be boycotting the show, but I don't plan to watch last night's episode. I'm not going to try to shut down the show, but I'm disappointed that Seth MacFarlane is reaching for something like infant death to make fun of. Such are the times, I guess.

It's funny (ha) how one's sense of humor changes with life experience. "Retard" isn't funny when you know and love someone who is mentally challenged. Jokes about violence--toward children, or anyone--once drew a laugh even just for their absurdity. But I can't find that funny anymore either. There's a difference, I think, between joyful humor (ribbit) and bitter, snarky humor.

there are certainly things on shows like Family Guy and South Park that completely blow me away with their inappropriateness...i.e., shaken baby syndrome...and i find myself annoyed with the shows that they push THAT far...

...but for the most part...i find them friggin' hilarious. don't bite!

Daddy Files: You're right. Intimating that the reason I don't like Family Guy any more is because I've grown up is a weak argument. For you to stop watching Family Guy. Which is why I never made it. I don't care if you think Family Guy is funny, and if your kids think it's hilarious. This post was about how I am a different person now than I was a few years ago, not a judgment about Family Guy fans: that I liked the show when I didn't have kids, when I was younger, when I was less mature. It's not an analysis of Family Guy fans, suggesting that in order to be one you have to be immature on some objective scale. It's an analysis of why I can't watch it anymore. I'm sorry you felt like you had to defend your own enjoyment of the show. I wasn't attacking you.

Further, my claim to not care what Seth McFarlane says on the show anymore was a declaration, a "starting now and for these reasons" statement. I don't see any hypocrisy or bull in doing that in a post. I won't be watching anymore, so I won't be writing about it again.

You've made a claim I just don't agree with at all: that you either joke about everything or nothing at all. Thousands, if not millions, of comeians and comedy writers have not decided that joking about one thing meant that they should joke about everything. I don't think they are being inconsistent in some way by refusing to do dead baby jokes or gang rape jokes. I don't think they are damaging their integrity as comedians by not crafting those into punchlines. I suppose the question to be asked (or avoid, or leave unasked, or declare unanswerable, if you're Family Guy) is "why?" Why don't they ruin their integrity in some way by not telling those jokes?

I don't know what the answer is to that. I imagine that every one of them has different reasons for not doing it. Seth McFarlane just doesn't have those reasons. But the balance of people not telling jokes like that implies, at least superficially, that the line they won't cross isn't arbitrary. Because no matter their varied reasons, there is still one consistent effect.

Even further, if the line is at all arbitrary in comedy I disagree that we therefore have license, without the threat of recrimination, to joke however we want. I can't expect to make dead baby jokes around moms holding infants and not get death stares. I don't get to say "Hey, I'm just a comedian. I can't draw a line at what I'll joke about," and consider their hostility somehow unwarranted. This isn't about the government trying to restrict free speech. It's not even about me trying to censor the show. I just won't watch it because I disagree with McFarlane about what's funny.

You keep watching if you want. I don't have anything to say about your character for doing it. You aren't me, and all I can tell you is that I liked Family Guy when I was less mature than I am. I don't even want to imply a causal link between the two (my taste and my own personal growth): that would be a fallacy. Much less likely would I be to imply a causal link between some general view of maturity, abstracted from my own, and tell you that you're immature since you still like Family Guy.

First you go man! You handled that great(daddyfiles)! Also ,I get what you were sayingabout your tastes changing,I don't really watch the show anyway,but catch a glimpse here & there when I catch my older son trying to watch.Aside from a few jokes here & there exploited on internet I never found it very funny.Had to come read after I saw what redneckmommy tweeted about it,glad I did.

I used to watch Law and Order SVU all the time, I don't know why, I actually hate serialized crime shows, but I was addicted. When my son was about 3 months old I stopped watching. I no longer could stomach the show.

When you mentioned what happened on Family Guy, I gasped a little inside. I have a problem with programming that is made with only the intent to shock and disgust more than actual humor and more often than not this is the case with Family Guy.

Oh and on South Park when Ike had an affair with his kindergarten teacher? I have a 4 year old boy, so I found that to be offensive (not funny) as well. Shit like that happens. It's not funny when it happens but sad, and I can't see it as anything else.

De-lurking to say that the way I looked at the entire WORLD changed when I had my daughter- the things I have nightmares about changed, the things I found funny changed... Nothing remained the same. It was as if someone switched glasses on me or something.

Dude I was half watching last night (flipping channels) and missed that part. But that is seriously wrong. The issue is Family Guy, is it is an equal offender on every issue. If you watch the show you have to take it as a given that something will offend you. As a mom, I would have turned the channel when I saw that, but does it surprise me? NO not a bit.

Too damn right. I'm amazed with myself with regard to how much my tv viewing tastes have changed. I've watched maybe 2 episodes of FG here in the UK; my brother recommended it, and I thought we had exactly the same sense of humour. It seems I too have changed somewhat since having children.

Not necessarily more serious, hell I'll still watch silly crap on tv, but some things just hit a little too close to the heart, you know?

I think with a TV show like Family Guy, South Park, etc that part of your allure is shock and awe. The idea that nothing is sacred. For those kinds of shows it's absolutely all or nothing. A show like that can't say "Alright we'll make fun of black people, midgets, abortion, slavery, rednecks and gays but we absolutely will not talk about shaken baby syndrome."

And I never said anything about lacking a threat of recrimination for the jokes made on these shows. Of course that threat is there. You are living proof that threat is there. People are always going to be offended by something, so the line really is arbitrary. It all depends on what personally offends you and that is different for each person.

And I guess I'm really confused as to why someone's sense of humor changes after kids. Sure, a lot has changed since my son was born and for the better. But aside from adding Handy Manny and Imagination Movers to my TV repertoire, the stuff that was funny before is still funny for me. Just because I saw a shaken baby joke on TV doesn't mean I all of a sudden condone it. So I just don't get where the sudden outrage and distaste for a show that you once thought was funny is coming from.

And by the way, I hate to disappoint the people commenting who see this as a battle. I've actually been reading your blog for months and I like most of it, and certainly don't have anything against you. I just disagreed with what you were saying and felt compelled to comment.

Daddyfiles: I didn't really detect hostility in your comment (or you'd have gotten something a little sharper from me :} ). I'm a little bemused myself that a few people are gearing up for a war or pissing contest or something. I think you read the post wrong in the first place, and it inspired you to think I was making some general case about senses of humour or maturity or Family Guy fans, and I really wasn't.

As for why having kids changes your sense of humour, I don't know that it does, and that was never a claim in the post either. There are just two facts: I used to like Family Guy and I didn't have kids; now I don't like Family Guy and I do have a kid. I'm certain there's a relation, even if it's just "In the intervening years I otherwise changed and happened to also have a kid", but I don't know what it is.

The point, the narcissistic point, is that I'M not McFarlane's audience anymore. A more mild point was made about the quality of the show in general deteriorating and possibly accounting for more desperation moves, but that wasn't the thrust of the post. The post is about me not sharing their sense of humour anymore.

It wasn't an essay about how having kids changes people. It was a post about how having my own daughter has had yet another affect on me. In this case on my sense of humour. The change wasn't sudden, but the realization, that McFarlane and I don't share a sense of humour anymore, was sudden, because he made a joke that is so far from funny to me that it is overwhelming evidence that I'm no longer his audience. Maybe it feels more sudden because I haven't been writing weekly posts about the slow descent of Family Guy in my estimation or something like that, but instead blogged a sudden blog and said "I'm done!" I'm not even outraged.

Had I been outraged I would have suggested a boycott or something. I actually tried really hard in the last paragraph to make clear that this was about me. I take the shaken baby joke as evidence that Family Guy doesn't speak to me anymore, so I'm not going to pay attention to it. That's all. You don't have to take it as a claim about what you should do or what anyone else should do, or an account of what parenthood means or what a good sense of humour is or anything like that.

As for the other point, that Family Guy and South Park are the types of shows that have to cross all the lines because they're designed to appeal by crossing lines in general, I know that the writers at least would agree with you. But that's just saying "we've been ignoring the edges of rivers and getting a little wet; our policy must therefore be to ignore all edges, if we are to be consisent. Oh look, a cliff." That's either generalizing a policy from behavior and arriving at an unsupported general policy, or setting out a self-destructive general policy so that they don't have to think about it anymore: they'll fly on autopilot. Those choices aren't exhaustive. No one is going to write to McFarlane and Co. upon hearing that they didn't use the shaken baby joke to say "You guys have contravened your principles!" I don't think they considered it their duty to use the shaken baby joke. I think they thought it was funny, and they justify it by appeal to some policy about crossing all lines because not everyone agrees about where the safe lines are. Where the safe edges are.

Right after I had to have a D&C because my baby died I was watching this skit show and they made a really, really crude abortion joke. I looked at my husband and there was this long silence and we laughed our asses off. It was healing in a really, really f-ed up way.

I'm not saying I'd laugh at a shaken baby joke because I didn't see it but what I am saying is that we all have our own boundaries and the things that aren't funny to me might be hysterical to others. I think we're lucky to live in a world where we all get to make that decision for ourselves.

PS. This was really well-written and I love you and your commenters and understand your point even though I see it a different way. Now I'm off to make inoffensive jokes about dead kittens and giant labias.

I always found most American comedy, both in TV and movies, to be very immature. Most comedy is just dumb, but now that I have worked in the entertainment profession, I have learned about the pressures of the business, and how most comedy is aimed at those in college or familiar with SNL characters -- and the aim is to be as edgy and controversial as possible to get attention, not that much different from how bloggers act, producing their content, wanting "hits." When there are thousands of people shouting for attention, it is the outlandishness of the shaking baby that gets the attention. So, you are right - the producers DON'T consider you part of their audience anymore. They are trying to amuse some college student, and shoot for the belt. Your life has changed, and you relate more to the seriousness of raising children. But would you laugh at the shaking of a yapping dog? People laugh all the time at funny blind characters, women with big boobs, and grouchy old men in wheelchairs. I have a feeling that those things will be less funny for you, too, because part of this maturity is empathy for others, not just children.

I'm not going to add anything new to the conversation I'm afraid. I used to be squeamish about scenes with kids in trauma/distress in shows like ER. Now I often can't watch them.

The scene with the eyes in Slumdog Millionaire? Shut my eyes and plugged my ears.

I've never been a huge fan of Family Guy (my husband likes it) simply because it seems to me to be the same joke over and over. Shaken baby syndrome? Appalling source for humour in my opinion. But I've heard some pretty awful abortion jokes, gay jokes, etc in the past and no one seems to blink anymore about those. I guess it makes me question how far you can actually go with shock value. At what point is everyone's line crossed?

Hey great post. I was not expecting that last part at the end here.. makes me think about what is "newly" funny to me 11 years into this parenting thing, and what is SOOO not humorous after the same time frame.

Or how about the movie 'Taken', I liked it fine, but when 11yrold asked what it was about.. I totally squelched my husband and wouldn't let him tell her.. TOOOOO close to home.

Perhaps this is why my husband doesn't like Maxim anymore. I still laugh at the jokes page but find the rest of the rag painful. I suppose we do grow up sometime, eh? Look at me sounding all Canadian! 8 years in Minnesota will do that to a girl.

I watched that episode last night too, and I saw the shaken baby comment along with the 5 minutes of Conway Twitty. All miserable 5 minutes... To be perfectly honest, while I did notice the shaken baby comment and it did strike a nerve with me, I'm a mom so of course it would, I really didn't take it to heart. I didn't laugh either but I think I've come to expect something each episode that will offend me in some way. But the rest of it is humorous enough I can still tolerate it. Something my husband and I can watch together without too much argument. Frankly, I was more annoyed when I was subjected to the 5 minute musical interruption of my evening. I almost changed the channel. Almost, hubby had the remote or it would have been see ya later baby hater.

I know what you mean. Before I had my daughter I had sympathy for animals and old people.. because, well, I had pets and grandparents. I could relate. I had feelings for them. I had no idea what it felt like to love a child, partly because I grew up without young children in my life and partly because I was not yet a mother myself. The moment I gave birth to my daughter that all changed.. I am crazy sometimes about defending children now.

i haven't seen family guy in years. about three years ago i went home and saw an episode that had me laughing hours later (aaron neville megaphone, priceless). i don't even know if it's shown here in japan, i don't have cable or satellite TV. i did download an episode last year and was totally turned off by the dog having a human girlfriend. i just. didn't. get. it. but i don't think that's because i'm a mom.

i'm glad i didn't see that episode. i definitely won't be watching in the future.

I'm not sure I'd have ever found a dead shaken baby funny, but I definitely find it way harder to watch anything involving a child's death, abuse, or kidnapping, no matter how respectful. It's just your worst nightmare now.

I like that you say "this isn't a 'come boycott Family Guy' with me" as it clearly is each person's choice to watch or not. It was never a show I got into, and after reading your post, doesn't sound like a show I need bother with. Having kids definitely makes a difference for many people.

I can't watch "Trainspotting" for that reason. I was watching it years ago with my older boys and the scene with the baby made me ill. I got up and left the room. I wonder if my son's will feel the same once they have kids of their own?

Second, I have been a huge family guy fan for years. I didnt quite care for that joke either when I saw it. I do think that Seth pushes the bounndries with his jokes, and it wasnt taboo for him because the man is not a father. I, as a mother, was a bit offended, but that's just what you get with FG. The shock factor (which is what he wants to do).

FYI- Thanks for the cartoon network/ adult swim shout out (i work for them!)

This, I think, is the problem with offensive humour -- there is a reason why it is offensive.

A show like Family Guy can only last for so long, because it slowly erodes its viewer base. Today it's you, tomorrow it's someone who has a sibling with Down's Syndrome. Slowly but surely, they chase away viewers.

And it's not because they're less funny, it's just that every joke hits home with somebody -- and that resonates in the next joke, and the one after.

I have never liked Family Guy and I did give it a thorough try because I generally do like cartoons and even a lot of "pushing the bounds" humor. [But it didn't help any that Peter is the "spitting image" of a guy I once worked with (face AND body AND same even somewhat similar personalities) that I quite disliked.] However, I have been trying hard to remember to watch FG March 29th because it is a special Star Trek episode (specifically Next Generation, I think, since Wil is a voice in it) and I did watch and like their Star Wars episode.

I agree. I don't really watch it, but did see some old episodes once with my brother when we visited him. The old ones seemed funny. One night a few months back, my husband came across it flipping through channels, we kept it on, and I didn't laugh. Once. Nor did he. My husband even has one of the sets from one of the seasons, but it was never something that I would call out "ooh ooh let's watch this!?!" with excitement. Now, after reading this, I'd say definitely not, as that is definitely not something I would ever remotely consider funny.

I worked daycare with my mother in NY, and I recall with horror the case that happened way back when a child was killed with Shaken Baby Syndrome while in care of a daycare person, in her home. It was horrific. We as providers were horrified someone could do that, and learned so much about it after new sweeping laws went into affect. We moved shortly thereafter, as my husband was stationed in NC, but I can't forget that little baby's face, ever, that was all over the news, posterboards, and the like.

Comedy is about finding the humor in a lot of things, and usually is about poking fun at everyday life. But some things are better off left alone. That was most certainly one of them.