Thursday, December 29, 2011

Some say that Frank was singing about all the women he laid over the years in this song. That may be so, but it's a tune I like and came to mind when thinking about this past year. Yes it's that time of the year where we all reflect on the past year's events. Some good, some bad. It seems that whenever a year comes to a close, people always say "this year just went by so fast!" I don't agree. Parts of it sometimes seem to. Unfortunately it's the fun parts that fly by. Other parts, not so much. Trust me, 8 hours at work feels like 8 hours at work. 5 days at a spanking party weekend feels like an hour.

There were a lot of ups and downs this year, as I'm sure is the case for most of us. Financial strain, family health issues, friend drama, work stress, bullshit raises... Ahem, sorry. Getting off track. But I don't want to talk about any of that. This is a spanking blog after all! ;-) And where the spanking world is concerned, I had a damn fun year. Here are some of the highlights.

In February, I jumped into the world of blogging. I never would've guessed how much fun this would be. I wrote my first post and before I even told any of my kinkster friends what my new blog address was, I already had been discovered and left a comment by Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts, who I soon found out was queen of the spanking blogosphere. I don't know how she keeps up with it all! I started out reading 2 or 3 blogs of friends and now follow over 60. And for whatever reason, people follow me! I'm not much of a writer but blogging really sucked me in. I've really enjoyed writing and sharing and interacting with all the other bloggers and readers and even the lurkers. Thank you to all who do read and keep up with the semi-interesting happenings of Lea's Corner. Without all of you, I'd just be some nut talking to myself. ;-)

In April, I attended my fourth SCONY Mountain Weekend. It was a blast, as always. Spending time with friends, laughing, playing, laughing some more, playing some more. What could be better? It's always a toss up on what is more sore when I get home- my abs from laughing so much or my bottom from playing so much. Of course, my abs don't tend to mark, but that's another matter. One memory from this particular weekend that stands out in my mind was pushing some of my previous limits. One of those was playing in the main party area. This may sound strange coming from someone who goes to spanking parties but I'm really particular about privacy. I'm not even talking about being spanked in public, I haven't done that. I nearly have an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

I'm referring to the areas that are curtained off or whatever for people to play at parties. Previously, I didn't even go into those. I'd only go off to play in my room or somewhere else where there weren't so many people around. Obviously I'm there for the same reason as everyone else, but the idea of people overhearing my scenes just freaked me out. Well, that really interfered with my schedule, so I got over it. Lol. Another new thing that weekend was having a scene where I co-bottomed that I wrote about here. It was really fun and I liked the dynamics of interacting with both the other people in the scene. It also allowed me to play up being a bit more of a brat than normal since I could take cues from the other bottom. Hehe. It was something I'd try again in the future, and did. Oh, and I learned that plastic is evil. No more plastic for Lea.

I tried to corner the market on spanko ice cream. Still waiting to hear back from Ben and Jerry's... I thought it was a really good idea!

I educated others on bear/top safety, as well as What Not To Say which includes things like "Don't be such a Domass!", "It's not my fault!", and "You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" There's a lawyer I really want to use that last line with if I was properly set up for it. Yes, I have been told I lack a sense of self preservation. Why do you ask?

In September, I attended my fifth SCONY Mountain Weekend. It was as fun as ever. A friend of mine has said that it's incredible to him how each one can get even better than the last. It's hard for me to compare one to the next because I have a great time at all of them but also the crowd changes a bit each time. Some friends I really missed having there but I also met some really cool new people. I will say that I'd really gone into full Lea mode for this one and was probably at my most mischievous to date. Countless texts were sent teasing those who were soon to have me in their grasp (yeah, not the smartest move). I created disguises and and all sorts of elaborate plans that just never seem to quite work out for me... Song parodies were written and sung. My Sad Face was perfected and ignored along with my pleas to not be killed. Oh, and a first for me- I was caned. Twice. What a weekend. And I can't forget the awesome Peeps related gifts I received!

Usually that would've been it for my cross-country spanking trips of the year. But lucky me, I was able to swing a third one. In November, I attended the monthly SCONY party in New York City. I've never made it to one of those before since it's such a brief trip compared to the weekends, but it was great. Okay, maybe this trip was when my Sad Face was perfected and ignored along with my pleas not to be killed. I got to meet some new friends and spend time with many other good friends. I broke a personal record with how many times I played in such a short period of time. And also how quickly I bruised. Oww. I wrote about that trip here. Another first on this visit was having soap in my mouth. Blech. That's not something I care to revisit. That was accompanied by my hardest scene ever. I was quite the limit pusher this year.

I had two posts Chrossed this year: Sunday Strapping and Why You Won't Be Playing With Me. That's always exciting to get a chance to be discovered by new readers. I like all of my posts, or I wouldn't post them, but writing is such an individual thing. It seems that sometimes the things I put the most thought into expressing aren't near the most popular things that get read. Funny how that works. It's not a problem really, just an observation. I wonder if others feel the same way about things they've written.

That brings us back up to the current time. December has been a flurry of holiday stresses that I'm happy to have be over and not deal with for another 11 months. If I hear one more person say, "but I wanted to get my appointment in this year because I've met my deductible..." I'll fucking scream. Sorry, off topic. I'll be happy when it's January 1st. :-) I got a new toy for Christmas. It's a cane. O_O Haven't tried it out yet but hopefully I'll have a story to share soon. I wish you all a safe and happy New Year.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Ah, the holidays. Obligations to spend time with family members you don't like and spend money you don't have. All those annoying things aside, Christmas is interesting in that it really sets off my spank-dar with all the references in vanilla advertising. There's been a commercial for the Jared Galleria of Jewelry I've seen many times over the past few weeks. It is advertising Le Vian chocolate diamonds and at the end of the commercial it says "Le Vian chocolate diamonds, they're anything but vanilla." It makes me laugh every time I hear it. It's about time they market diamonds for kinky people! It's a totally untouched demographic! And I must ask, who really gets diamonds and Lexuses for Christmas? Holiday advertising is laughable.

Another not so vanilla Christmas reference came in the form of a card I received from a friend. The front of it has a picture of a girl sitting in a chair facing a corner. Inside was written "If you aren't on the nice list by now, it's probably too late." Now this was sent by a fellow spanko friend but it came from Hallmark, not Fetlife. And with all the Santa references of naughty and nice and stores filled with panties like these--->
it makes one wonder what the vanilla people are thinking. Do they not see that all these things blatantly lead to spanking? I'm not the one with a skewed view here, they are! How can they not see it? Poor vanillas with their heads in the sand. They'll never know all the fun things one can do for Christmas.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Melanie wrapped the last of the Christmas presents and placed it under the tree. She surveyed the living room to check that everything was in place for the big morning. It had been a stressful few weeks leading up to this with work, shopping, and family get-togethers but everything had come together, as it always did.

Her cell phone rang and she saw it was her husband. "Hi honey," she answered. "Is everything ready to go and hidden away before the kids and I come back home?" Chad asked. "Yes, everything is ready. See you soon. Love you," she said. "Love you, too. See you home in a few," Chad said before hanging up.

She laid out on the couch for a moment and quickly dozed off. She was startled awake when Chad and the kids came in through the front door. It had been that dream again. The one about Santa. Just push it out of your mind. You have more important things to focus on, she told herself. They all had dinner together and the kids went off to play downstairs. "Is everything alright?" Chad asked. "You seem stressed, distracted." "I'm fine," Melanie replied in a tone that opposed her statement. He raised an eyebrow at her and reminded her that he was there to help and she didn't need to overload herself. "I know," she replied. "I'm fine."

Later that night, they had finally put the kids to bed and were pretty tired out themselves. Their family had a tradition of leaving cookies and milk out for Santa. Melanie had laid everything out and with a glance of approval around the room, she turned the tree lights on and went to bed. A few hours later, she was disturbed from her slumber by a noise coming from the next room. What on Earth was that? She got out of bed and went into the living room. Her jaw nearly hit the floor. She could not believe her eyes.

Standing next to the Christmas tree was Santa Claus, red suit and all. He had a bag over his shoulder and was unloading some gifts under the tree. As she stood there still in shock, he noticed her in the doorway. "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" he bellowed. "What are you doing in my house?" she finally managed to utter. This cannot be happening. Santa Claus isn't real! This is crazy! "You're.... you're... breaking and entering!" she screeched. "I'm going to call the police!"

"Now, now, young lady," he said, "I come bearing gifts and this is how you treat me? Maybe something else needs to be bared." Her eyes widened as he took a few steps toward her and grasped her arm. He sat in a dining room chair, quickly upending her over his knee. "What do you think you are doing? Let me go!" His hand connected hard with her bottom, landing several swats across her pajama clad backside. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "You can't do this!" Melanie cried out. "You better let me go right now!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! He ignored her pleas and yanked down her pajama bottoms and panties. "Noooo noooo please, don't!" she begged. "I'll be good, I swear!"

"We'll see about that," Santa said as he delivered a flurry of swats to her bare bottom. SMACK! SMACK! "Owww owww please!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! She kicked her legs furiously in a feeble attempt at freeing herself. He pinned her legs beneath his and continued the spanking in earnest. "You know, young lady, a lot us get stressed near the holidays," he lectured. "But you need to remember Christmas cheer and watch your attitude." SMACK! SMACK! "Oww oww you bastard! I'm going to scream and my husband will wake up and kick your ass!" Santa paused for a moment, chuckling. "I get the feeling that he'll agree with me that this is what you really need." SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"You have quite a mouth on you, I see that you're going to need a stronger lesson." he said. He pulled her up off his lap and stood, bending her over the chair. "Don't you move." He rummaged into his bag of toys, pulling out a long leather strap. "Oh please, I'm sorry, I really am!" Melanie attempted to bargain after seeing what he had in his bag of tricks. "Not yet. But you will be," Santa replied. He stood behind her, admiring the pink glow of her cheeks, before the strap connected with her tender backside. THWAP! THWAP! THWAP! THWAP! "Owww Owww!" He placed his other hand at the small of her back, keeping her from flying right off the chair. THWAP! THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!

He could feel her stop resisting as the strapping continued. The only other sound in the room was her quiet sniffling. "Do you think you've learned your lesson?" he asked. "Yes sir, I really have," she said softly. He set the strap down on the table. "I believe you," he said. She turned around and hugged him tightly, momentarily forgetting about her throbbing bottom. He kissed her on the cheek and told her she better get back to bed as he had a lot more work to do that night. She wandered back to the bedroom in a daze and soon fell back asleep.

Melanie woke the next morning, immediately recalling her crazy dream from the night before. Being spanked by Santa, I must be losing my mind. She rolled over onto her back and cringed as her bottom brushed against the covers. She felt her backside and couldn't believe how sore she was. She got up and looked in the bathroom mirror, strap marks clearly evident. No way that could have really happened. It's just not possible! Her head spinning, she rushed to get dressed before all the family would be coming over. As she rummaged through the closet, she failed to notice the Santa suit hanging in the back of Chad's side of the closet. He appeared at her side, holding her tightly. "Merry Christmas, sweetie," he whispered into her ear. "Merry Christmas."

About a year later...

Melanie awoke with a start upon hearing a noise in the living room. Memories of last year's Christmas Eve ran through her head as she went to check the other room. There he was again. Santa beside the tree. What is he holding? "Ho, ho, ho! We meet again!" he bellowed. Her eyes widened as the cane in his hand came into view. "Now the question is, have you been naughty or nice?"

Here comes Mr. Top!
Here comes Mr. Top!
And he's got a cane!
Kiwi and Sarah and all the bottoms
try to run out of the way!
He starts swinging, girls are shrieking,
Bottoms burning bright
Hang your head and say your prayers
'Cause Mr. Top comes tonight

Here comes Mr. Top!
Here comes Mr. Top!
And he's got a cane!
He's got a bag full of implements
you won't want to see again!
Strap a'swinging, tears are streaming,
Bottoms try to flee from sight
He is near, cover up your rear,
'Cause Mr. Top comes tonight

The F.E.S.
(to the tune of The Grinch song)

Note- For anyone fortunate enough to not know what I'm referring to, the F.E.S is the Flesh Eating Strap which belongs to a... dear top I know. "Dear" is the safest adjective for me to use here...

You're a mean one, F.E.S.
You make me wish I couldn't feel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're unfortunately real.
F.E.S.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, F.E.S.
You play such an evil role.
Your leather is made by Satan
Shall we burn you? Let's take a poll!
F.E.S.

On second thought,
I wouldn't touch you with a
thirty nine and a half foot pole.

You're a vile one, F.E.S.
You know how to snatch away a smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
As a mouthful of awful Dial.
F.E.S.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd ALMOST take the Dial.

You're a foul one, F.E.S.
You love to mess with my head.
You're made of blood, sweat, and tears
Can I just be shot instead?
F.E.S.

The three words that best describe me following you, are as follows, and I quote:

"Crying, dying, dead!"

You're a swatter, F.E.S.
You're the king of painful plots.
Now my bottom's a hot potato splotched
With red and purple spots,
F.E.S.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the
most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, F.E.S.
With a nauseous, super-naus.
You're vicious and detrimental
Wielded by a twisted boss
F.E.S.

You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

Paddle, Paddle, Paddle
(to the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)

He has a big old paddle
He made it out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

Oh paddle, paddle, paddle
He made you out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

It has an evil body
With holes so short and thin
And when my bottom's tired
I give in and never win!

Oh paddle, paddle, paddle
He made you out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

The paddle's never playful
It takes away my grin
He points to the chair and says,
Bend over, let's begin!

Oh paddle, paddle, paddle
He made you out of wood
And when he's toppy and ready
I'll quickly learn to be good!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I glare at the corner so fiercely I'm surprised it doesn't bore a hole into the wall. No, I don't like this. This is not how I should be feeling. This is not the position I should be in. I did NOT do anything wrong.

I sigh loudly, easing up my glare at the wall. "I don't know, just like I said before!"

He shakes his head. "Get back over here." He sits on the couch and I lay across his lap as the spanking resumes. I kick my legs and bury my face into the cushion as his hand quickly turns my bottom pink. I do not want to hear him. I do not have the answers he wants to hear.

"Tell me why we're here," he says again. I bite down on my lip in frustration. "I don't know!" The swats get more intense to show his dislike for my response. "Have you figured out by now that 'I don't know' is not an acceptable answer? Tell me anything besides that." He pauses and rubs my bottom, waiting for my response. My glare returns, directed at the couch cushion this time. "I... don't... know..."

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Some of you may have observed the Versatile Blogger Awards floating around in blogland for the past few weeks. Erica Scott was awarded one and passed one on to me in this post here. Thank you, Erica!

The rules are:
-Link back to the award giver
-List 7 things about yourself
-List 15 blogs that you like, passing the VBA onto them

Hmm... 7 things about myself. I suppose I could write something silly like "I love spanking" or that I wish I was the person who invented Peeps but I think they are supposed to be things that aren't widely known. It's hard to think of something that I haven't already shared, but here goes.

1. I live in Utah but I've never gone skiing in my life. Anyone who has seen me try to even walk in a straight line will understand that this is best for my own safety and all surrounding trees/objects/people. Don't want any Tony Danza incidents. Plus I hate the cold.

2. I'm left-handed. My parents tried really, really hard to get me to be right-handed when I was young. They'd take things out of my hand and try to put it in my right hand to get me to do it that way, but it just wouldn't work. I guess I didn't listen so well then either. People point this out a lot too, is it that rare to be left-handed these days? I'm always getting comments like "Oh, a southpaw!" That goes on my annoyances list that will be covered in #4.

3. I've never learned to ride a bicycle. This goes back to the balance issue mentioned in #1, lol, but also when I was a kid all my friends and the whole world it seemed was within a few blocks so walking suited me just fine. When it didn't, I learned to drive.

4. I'm tall. 6 feet tall to be exact. Yes, I know this is abnormally tall for a woman. No, I don't need you to point out how tall I am, I'm well aware of it. This happens at least once a week. Random man in elevator: "Wow, did you play basketball in high school?" Me (what I'm thinking anyway): "Did you play miniature golf?" Why do people say such idiotic things? I hate elevator chatter to begin with, but won't get started on that. A 6 foot tall left-handed spanko woman, wow I am versatile. Or a freak. Versatile sounds nicer.

Also to the men of the world who are 5'10''- YOU ARE 5'10''! It's okay to be 5'10''. You saying that you are 6 feet tall so I must be 6'2'' pfffftt!! is not going to make you taller. Nor will me saying I'm 5'10'' make me any shorter. You should've seen the look on the face of that DMV employee when I even tried. The only thing that annoys me as much as pointing my height out is pronouncing my name incorrectly. It's my made up name and you better pronounce it how I say to! It's like "Lee," not "Lee-uh." Moving on...

5. I don't like change. Who wants a bunch of pennies lying around anyway? They are pesky things, always finding them everywhere. We should just change the smallest coin to be the nickel and things can only be charged in increments of 5 cents. Oh wait, that's not what I meant by change. I don't do well with things changing. That may be the case with many people, but likely not to the extent that even little things can bother me. Like my left and right speakers being swapped on opposite sides of my computer. I'll notice immediately and move them back. Same with any furniture or other things in my home or office. Why is that plant on the right side of the room now? Put it back!

6. I eat candy in even numbers. I don't like when things aren't even. If there are an odd number of pieces in a box, I'll give the rest to someone else. Even as a kid, I tried to keep things even. If there were 5 strawberry yogurts and 2 peach yogurts in the fridge, even if I really wanted a peach one I would just eat a strawberry one. I wanted to keep them even. Plus, I didn't want the strawberry ones to feel bad because they weren't being chosen as quickly as the peach ones. Omg, I'm just waiting for a psychiatrist to show up and comment on this post. LOL.
7. I have a major fantasy of being spanked by someone dressed as Santa Claus. (Figured I'd throw something spanking related in here.) I know that probably sounds as corny and cliche as a schoolgirl scenario, but there it is. It would be a good girl spanking of course, because I'd be on the nice list. Why are you rolling your eyes?? Nobody ever believes I can behave...

When I first came across the spanking blogosphere, I followed maybe 5 blogs. Now I regularly read about 60. It's hard to pick out specific ones because there are so many great ones out there, but here are some of my favorites.

- A Consensual Spanker
Mr. A is a thoughtful top and personal friend. He's new to the blogosphere and I look forward to reading more from him.
- Alex In Spankingland
Alex always has me captivated, laughing, or both with her stories.
- American Spanking Society
Todd and Suzy always have a wide variety of material to read, from party updates to polls.
- Blossom and Thorn
If you haven't read Season and Michael's fantastic blog, it's time to quit living under that rock!
- Chross
Chross is the man who keeps track of it all, a weekly list of great posts and constant updates of any spanking related media.
- Come Play With Me
Sarah Thorne's blog is a favorite. From humorous rantings to thoughtful stories and party updates, there is something for everyone here.
- Dave Wolfe of Wolfie Toons!
Dave Wolfe is a wonderful cartoonist who covers the subject that is so close to our hearts. And the puns abound on this blog! Can't forget the puns.
- Ecce Spanko
Dioneo is a must read for those who love art and a bit of poetry with their spanking material.
- Erica Scott
Erica is a spanking video star, author, and fellow left-handed bottom whose wit always keeps me coming back for more!
- Finding Sara
Sara provides an honest, thoughtful, and sometimes humorous take on life in DD.- Heart And Soul
Ronnie is one of my favourite (I spelled it like she does ;) bloggers from across the pond. One of my must reads.
- Hermione's Heart
Hermione is one of the most versatile bloggers out there with daily posts ranging from Complete the Caption to Wednesday Win and plenty of personal stories, too.
- love honour and obey
Kiwi shares her journey into DD with a realistic and relatable voice.
- Mischief Managed
Rayne is a blogger I'm fortunate to have met in real life and I always enjoy reading her updates.
- My Bottom Smarts
Bonnie is the queen of the spanking blogosphere. She keeps a massive blogroll in tact so we can all find each other and always poses thought provoking questions in her weekly brunch.
- Poppy's Submissions
Poppy writes so beautifully and sometimes I feel like she's taken the thoughts out of my head and placed it on paper in a way that I never could.
- Richard Windsor
Richard has a massive collection of high quality spanking pics that he's kind enough to share with us, plus personal stories and party updates too.
- sugar refined
Sugar shares her honest take on her journey into a life in DD.
- The Pink Report
What can I say about Pink? I'll sum up her writing in 3 words. Thoughtful. Funny. HOT!
- Words On The Bottom
Wordsmith always has a collection of great pictures mixed in with humorous posts.

Okay so for anyone counting, that was 20 blogs not 15. We all know that I have a hard time following rules. To keep things versatile, I'll end with this Rudolph video that had me nearly rolling on the floor laughing the other night. Enjoy!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

During last year's holiday season, some friends and I turned nearly every Christmas tune into a spanking parody. But this involved me, so of course the Peeps could not be left out. "Peep" rhymes with "tree" and it just went downhill from there. So here is my little song to the tune of O Christmas Tree, followed by a few others I wrote.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The spanking world has a lot of really good people in it. I've made many amazing friends because of it. And for the most part, they are great people. But just like any group of people in any area of life, there are those who just stand out. In a bad way. You know the ones, we've all seen them. The lurkers. The Creepy McCreepy's. The ones who seem to have missed the basic social skills course in school. The ones who complain about everything.

This post is for them. Of course, part of their problem is that they are clueless and often don't recognize that they even fall into that category. But I will soldier on and try to educate them anyhow. And for others, these are traits of a person you just may want to steer clear of. Here are some of the things that may cause a person to be labeled as someone to avoid or a Creepy McCreepy (props to Miss Chief on FetLife for creating that term). Listen up!

Let's do this David Letterman style.

Top 10 Reasons Why Nobody Is Playing With You At The Party:

10. You forgot to check your woe is me attitude at the door.

The fact of the matter is, you make your own good time. If you are focusing all your attention on how so-and-so played with person A and person B but not you, you're off to a bad start for the night. Your whining is not appealing to others. We all have insecurities. We all can get into a funk from time to time. But if you are feeling that badly, it is probably best to save your 40 bucks and pass on the party until another time. Come back when you feel like having an enjoyable time with some like-minded people.We are pretty awesome company.

9. You didn't put any effort into getting to know people.

The spanking world can seem like some sort of fantasy world come true, especially when you are new. Wrapping your head around the fact that there are others out there who are on the same wavelength as you is a lot to take in. But guess what? We are all still regular people, kink aside. Use common sense like you would in any other social setting. It's not much of a stretch to figure that people would like to at least have a conversation with you before letting you put your hands on their body.

8. You are ill-informed.

Most groups are pretty clear with what their thing is all about and what's NOT okay to do at their events. You should be able to get a feel for if this is the place for you or not. If you were too lazy to read through their website before attending and shelling out your money, you only have yourself to blame. And you're a dumbass. Can't leave that part out. What? You mean this ISN'T a swingers group? D'oh! Read the rules, dumbass.

7. You are a lurker.

Respect people's personal space. Yes, by the nature of what we do, some of us get up close and personal at times. But that comes with having an established relationship with someone. Nobody likes having someone in their face all the time. Have you seen Seinfeld? Watch out for being a close talker. Also, some people may choose to play in the middle of the party space. Keep a respectful distance. They are not there as your eye candy.

6. You have a sense of entitlement.

That doesn't tend to bode well with others. Okay, you paid your money to get into the party. So that means you are guaranteed to play, right? Um, NO. The rest of us paid to attend too. Nobody is obligated to do anything with anyone. Figure that out now and save yourself some grief. This is all based around the idea of consent. That has to be given by both people involved.

5. You don't handle rejection well.

We have all dealt with rejection. Did you hear that? We have all dealt with rejection. Even the seemingly ultra popular well established folks in the scene have had it happen. Seriously. Does it suck? Yeah, it does. There are many reasons for someone to not want to play with you. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, some people just don't click. But guess what? They aren't obligated to give you an explanation. No means no. Just leave it alone and move on. There are other fish in the sea. Following someone around the room and making them uncomfortable by asking them repeatedly is just going to get your ass booted from the event.

4. You are seriously lacking in social skills.

I understand that some people are just shy. I'm that way myself, especially when meeting new people. If that describes you, come say hi! Everyone is friendly and we really won't bite, I swear. That's a different party. ;-) If shyness isn't the issue and you just don't know how to talk to people, here are some basics to starting a conversation. You- "Hi, I'm (fill in name). Nice to meet you." Person A: "Oh hello, I'm (fill in name), nice to meet you too!" Jumping straight to "Can I put my hands all over your ass?" is not recommended.

3. You have trouble respecting limits.

To tie in with #5, no means no. There is not room for interpretation here. You do not want to earn the reputation of being someone who didn't respect someone else's limits. It will not be long before no one wants to touch you with a 10 foot pole. Everyone has preferences and limits. And those limits can differ from person to person. You may see Top A yank me around the room by my ear. That doesn't mean you get to do that. Top A and I know each other well and we have our own dynamic. Work on establishing your own relationships with people and don't expect to copycat others.

2. You stink.

Literally. Have a whiff, we'll wait. .......... Am I right? This goes back to common sense. Practice good hygiene! Seriously! It is baffling the amount of bad stories I've heard about this sort of thing. It's such an easy dilemma to resolve. Shower before you arrive. Brush those teeth and gargle. If you're moving around a lot in a crowded room of people, it's probably getting hot. People sweat. It happens. Carry a handkerchief. Keep a stick of deodorant in your pocket. I assume all venues have bathrooms. Use them. Go freshen up from time to time. Do something about it. If someone offers you a breath mint, maybe it's a hint. Take it and say thank you.

1. You are an asshole.

Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? If you fall into this category, I'm not sure that I can help you. You probably go throughout life wondering what everyone else's problem is. But if you think about it, what is the common factor here? YOU. You are the problem. You can probably relate to several other things on this list as well, but have your head too far up your ass to realize it. You may have been called a Domass in the past. It's NOT a compliment. If you've realized that I'm talking about you, maybe there is a glimmer of hope for you after all. Take a few moments to evaluate why you are an asshole and let me know how that works out for you.

In summary, if you use common sense, conversation skills, and common courtesy when encountering others, I think you'll be okay. Don't push too hard. If you go just with the expectation of meeting some fun people, I bet you'll enjoy yourself. If you end up playing too, added bonus. But please, don't be like this guy. -----> Creepy Guy video starring Richard Windsor and Pixie Wells.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

I'm a big fan of the band Kings of Leon. When I heard their song "Sex On Fire," my mind immediately turned it into "Bottom On Fire" and went from there. I hope you enjoy the spankified version, sung from a top's point of view.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

2011 has been an interesting year. A lot of ups and downs. That's life, I guess. I don't really have enough content to write a whole post for Thanksgiving purposes but will preface it here. I'm thankful for my husband and all that he does for me. I love you. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my SCONY family and that you all let me be a part of it. I'm thankful for all my wonderful friends who let me cry on their shoulders, rant and curse until I have nothing more to say, put up with my incessant text message countdowns, and laugh at my bad puns. I'm thankful to all who read this blog and interact with me. I'm thankful to the Just Born people for making Peeps available 4 times a year, though they really should be available at Thanksgiving too, because I'm thankful for Peeps. (I'm officially adding "Peeps" into the post tags. How had I not already done that?)

My topic today is the funny side of fantasy vs. reality. Ever since the internet age came about for this spanko gal, I loved to read stories. Fiction is always so... perfect. All those thoughts you have in your head melding together to create this ideal scenario. That's nice for stories, but it doesn't always translate to real life. Not MY real life anyway, lol. Things happen and some of these things I think back on and laugh. I'll share a few.

Fantasy: He looks at me, drawing me in with his gaze, and I shiver from knowing what is to come. He pulls my pants down in one swift motion and places me across his knee.

Reality #1: There ISN'T one swift motion for pants removal! Maybe if one were to wear a skirt then it is flipped up easily but pants come in all types with all sorts of button arrangements. I had a pair of jeans that was one of those 2 button deals, kind of like dress pants have where the one button is above the zipper, but the other is underneath and an inch or so away on an inner tab. This resulted in the top reaching to remove my jeans and after a minute of fumbling gave up and told me to take them down myself.

Reality #2: In real life, people keep things in their pockets. I am one of those people. This was also a pants removal situation. When they did come undone and were pulled down, my phone and keys went flying across the hard floor, the phone completely coming apart and battery hitting the wall. D'oh! Imagine that warranty call into T-mobile. "How was it damaged? Uh... it clattered from my pocket when some mean top yanked my pants down to spank me! No, you're not on Candid Camera... What the hell is Candid Camera?"

Fantasy: He holds me in place across his knee, delivering a flurry of hard swats to my bottom. "Are you going to behave, young lady?" he asks as my bottom quickly turns pink. "Yes, sir!" I plead.

Reality: Sometimes I can't stop laughing. I don't know why, I just can't help it! Then it goes something like this: He holds me in place across his knee, delivering a flurry of hard swats to my bottom. "Are you going to behave, young lady?" he asks as the swats continue. "Yes, sir" I giggle. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "Do you think this is funny?" he asks as the swats land harder. "No, sir!" I'm still giggling. "You won't be finding it very funny soon," he growls. SMAAAACK! SMAAAACK! It's not funny! Why doesn't he believe me??

Fantasy: "Don't you move," he says firmly in my ear. I lay across the bed as he retrieves the strap. The butterflies in my stomach go wild as he takes his time. Swoooosh THWAP! Swoooosh THWAP! The strap connects with my tender flesh. "Am I getting through to you yet?" he asks. "Ooooww yes, sir!"

Reality: I've gotten hiccups mid-spanking before. Boy, was that annoying. When I get hiccups, they can last for over an hour and tend to be quite loud and noticeable. I've heard all the supposed remedies. Drink water. Eat a tablespoon of peanut butter. Hold your breath for 1 minute. Have someone jump out and scare you. (Yes, that was a real suggestion.) Maybe that one works the opposite way too that a spanking can take my breath away and give me hiccups? Back to the above scenario. Swoooosh THWAP! Swoooosh THWAP! The strap connects with my tender flesh. "Am I getting through to you yet?" he asks. "Ooooww HICCUP yes HICCUP sir!" That's pretty much how it continued for a few minutes, hiccuping throughout the strapping. You think he would've been nice enough to just stop asking me questions.

Fantasy: The spanking eases up and eventually concludes. He runs his fingers across my back for a few moments as he tells me it is over and I can relax. He pulls me up off his lap and holds me close.

Reality #1: Anyone who has been around me for more than 10 minutes knows that I'm not exactly graceful. Some coordination skills may be lacking. Okay, not may be. Are. I'm actually amazed that I have yet to fall on my freaking face when trying to get up off someone's lap. That is probably mostly due to helpful tops who try and help untangle my jeans from around my shoes before I try to stand up. I've come close though. Bad traction boots + hard wood floors aren't the best OTK combination. Having your feet in socks + kicking on the carpet gets a bit slippery too. Why are my feet reaching the floor? Well, I'm tall.

Reality #2: I have certainly acquired post-spanking injuries, though. Once after a party, I did semi gracefully get up, we hugged, and then as I walked out of the booth, BAM! I smacked my head right into a wall-mounted speaker. That really hurt plus there were at least 10 people in close proximity who noticed and I wanted to die from embarrassment. It happens. It happens to me a lot, lol. I must say though, if anyone is looking for tips on how to take your mind off a throbbing bottom, I highly recommend running into a wall.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be thankful that you are probably less clumsy than me! ;-)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

R.E.M. shares my somber feelings of coming back home. But back to the party update, I was only halfway through the night in my previous post here. My friend Y who had shown up unexpectedly that night finally caught up with me to play. He is one who can really do me in but was pretty nice to me this particular evening knowing I had a lot of appointments. We went into a booth and he bent me over a chair and spanked me with his hand. He had a whole bag of super evil implements with him (translation- metal) but fortunately we did not get into those on this occasion. My halfway through the night marking was assessed and I gave him a big hug, although I was still griping about the surprise.

I tried to wander throughout the room untouched and catch up with people to chat. I'm afraid I failed at being able to talk with everyone as long as I wanted to, but I did try. While I was sitting and talking with my friend S, Mr. R once again appeared and went for my OTHER ear this time. Talk about tops wanting to keep things even... As I was pulled around the room with him still grasping my ear, we found out that all the booths were occupied and I was finally released as we stood and waited for one to open. He showed me his evil little hairbrush that up until now I have not been introduced to and said that this wasn't the big hairbrush. Have I mentioned that I hate hairbrushes? Maybe that is just assumed. Who doesn't, really? (A funny side note, I just discovered today that "detached ears" was one of the search keywords that led some poor unsuspecting person to this blog.)

An area became open and I was led into the booth. I went across his knee and he spanked me with his hand and then the evil "little" hairbrush. I was not too sad about not being previously introduced to this thing. Owww! For anyone who doesn't already know this, I'll let you in on a little secret. Size is deceiving in the spanko world. It can be for tops and certainly for implements. If a bunch of things are laid out in front of you and you have to pick one, going for the smallest is not necessarily the best choice. Small wood things have a greater ability to get into every little area on your bottom and thinner leather things just sting even worse than the wide ones. Just an FYI. I'm here to help and inform. After my bottom was thoroughly stinging from the hairbrush, he let me up and gave me a hug. "We're still not done," he said. Shit. I thought that, didn't say it out loud of course. My brain works occasionally.

Excluding the damage to my bottom, my biggest injury of the night was about to occur. I was in the rest room and you know how they have those hooks inside the stall door to hang your purse on or whatever? My arm scraped right into it and it was just an insta-bruise. A big one. It freaking hurt. If Maggie Gyllenhaal ever complains about me ripping off her movie character for my scene name, I will from then on just go by Miss Instabruise. After damaging my arm, I returned to the party and caught up with Mr E. and we went back to play. I went over his knee and he spanked me with his hand. The soreness had certainly set in at this point. We hugged and parted and I returned to socialize.

I had been chatting with B throughout the night. We had met in person for the first time at this party but had been talking online for a while prior. I was happy to finally meet and he was super nice. We went back into a booth to play and I went across his knee and he gave me a longer hand spanking. It was quite a relaxing scene. We talked a bit more and then returned to the rest of the party. I talked a bit with L who I hadn't seen since the previous year at one of the Scony weekends, so it was nice to catch up a bit with him. We went back to play and when I was over his knee he commented that it looked like I hadn't played much. Ha! Funny guy... He gave me a spanking by hand as a reminder of why I should behave and I quickly agreed with him.

The night was winding down with the party closing time approaching. I was already starting to feel down about having to say a lot of goodbyes soon. I hate goodbyes. I was standing and chatting with a few people when Mr. R found me. He didn't go for the ear this time, though maybe if I had a third one he would have. Have to keep things even, you know. He grabbed my hand and led me into a booth. I was bent over a saddle and so quick that I never know it's being removed, he spanked me with his belt. Have I mentioned that I hate belts? Even more than hairbrushes, I think. Especially that one. I had a belt on that night myself and usually I purposely don't wear one at a party because I don't want it used against me, literally. But I think I would've preferred my own at that point. Back to the size issue. Mine is wider and I assume it would be softer. His is narrow and stingy and evil. The belting concluded and as we hugged he said that we were done for tonight, but still not done. Shit. Again.

For anyone trying to keep count, that was 10 times that I played at this party. Including the scene from earlier in the day, that turned out to be 11 times in less than 24 hours. Certainly a personal record. I feel like this post should have a disclaimer. Don't try this at home! Lol. I swear, I really am not a hard player. Any reputation as such is quite undeserved. Everyone I play with is really good at respecting my limits and personal tolerances. I'm sure I'm more in the light to middle range tolerance wise and they could inflict much worse. I'm getting off track here but just want to assure any worried parties that I was totally okay and got what I wanted. Alright, back to the recap. The party was over and many of us stayed to help take things down and get out of there. I said my goodbyes and as a note to Mr. G who gives me crap about crying, I did NOT even cry this time. I was close with a few people, but honestly everything went so fast that night that I don't even think my emotions had time to settle.

We left and got something to eat as I commented on how ridiculously hard the seat at the diner was. I don't care that it was a cushioned booth, it was HARD! After that, we went back to Mr. G's. This was the first chance I'd had to check out my bottom in the mirror and all that was heard throughout the apartment was Holy shit! on my part. Yes, I was well marked. I always am so really I should expect it, but actually seeing it always surprises me a bit. I was pretty exhausted at this point so crashed about as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next day I was able to hang out with a group of friends which was a lot of fun. This was the day the tears would come. On more than one occasion. I had my final scene of the weekend with Mr. R. It can be hard to compare one scene to the next, especially as time has passed, but I think I can honestly say it was the most severe spanking I've ever had. Because it was of a more personal nature to me, I'm not going to go into all the details. I know, I'm a tease. Sorry. I will say that it was my first experience ever having soap in my mouth. Blech! That is freaking horrible. Not something I care to revisit. I had to keep pieces of it in my mouth throughout the whole spanking and was scared that I was going to swallow it. Is there such a thing as soap poisoning? It involved the *big* hairbrush, a cane, and the FES aka strap from Hell. I cried. I can count on one hand how many times that has ever happened during a spanking. It ended with a big hug and a clean slate. I liked that part.

I also got to play with M that day and was reminded of my dislike for particular leather paddles. It certainly provides even coverage, I must say. Dinner was eaten, pianos were played (I rule at Heart and Soul) and hand signing skills were refreshed. I also spray painted some Peeps. It's a long story about a not so well thought out plan. The evening was drawing to a close and another round of goodbyes arrived. I cried. Again. Then we headed back to Mr. G's to try to catch up on some rest. The next day he and I went to Jersey to visit a friend. It was really good to see her and had been a while. I'm glad we had a chance to catch up. We went back to the city and I bought my first ever lottery tickets. They both lost. :-( I was way too optimistic about my chances on that. Lol. How else will I ever afford a second home out east? Mr. G and I played once that day as I was introduced to some evil silicone-like kitchen utensil. I've mentioned a lot of things being evil in this post. Don't let that take away from the meaning. They are all evil.

Then it was time to pack and head to the airport. Back home, back to work the next day. Blah. It was a great trip. Short, but totally worth it. I miss my friends. April is a long way off. Ugh. Thank you to all who added to a really fun weekend and all who put up with me. If you are reading this Mr. G, a special thank you for the lodging, the rides, the spankings, and the laughs. You're still a grumpypants though. ;-) Thank you to all of you for reading. That is all for this adventure.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I'm back! Friday night I flew out to NYC to attend the SCONY party on Saturday. I was a bit concerned about going into things still getting over being sick and tired as hell, but an hour into arriving as my abs turned sore with laughter I forgot all about it. Yes, I said abs. The rest wasn't sore... yet. A funny side note, when I checked my bag to head to NYC, the ticket agent went into the usual spiel about "Are there any items that are hazardous or dangerous in your bag?" I said no of course, but smiled to myself and thought "uh, hazardous to who? There's a pretty large bathbrush in there..." Kevin James, in one of my favorite stand up routines, talks about how the questions one is asked at the airport makes him feel like an idiot. "Do you know what's in your bag, sir?" "Um....no... I tied a sock around my eyes and packed with my feet. I'm thinking hot dogs and gunpowder?"

My friend Mr. Grumpypants, I'll call him Mr. G for short, picked me up from the airport ungodly early on Saturday morning after my red-eye flight. We got some breakfast and headed back to his place where I was greeted by my favorite Canadians, D and Mr. B, who were staying with him also. I beat them on the mileage traveled to be there that weekend but they had made quite the trek themselves, driving almost 14 hours to attend. We all caught up and laughed and laughed, (see aforementioned abs comment) but eventually I crashed to take a nap. I'm not bionic like some of the tops, after all. I got ready for the party that night and we drove out to the city to the party venue. I always find it funny when it takes nearly 2 hours to get somewhere, which to me is a really long time to be driving, but New Yorkers will say "Wow, we made really good time. There was no traffic." Uh, what? No traffic? I've yet to be in New York and see anything I'd consider "no traffic." Lol. But I digress.

We made "good time" and arrived about 6:00. Mr. G parked the car while D, Mr. B., and I headed in. I brought Halloween Peeps for the snack table and we set all our stuff down and soon the hello hug-fest began. I'll tell you a secret. I'm not a spanko at all. I just have a hug fetish and found that with this type of group my needs would be met. Lol. Okay, I'm kidding. I'm there for both things. And I certainly got plenty of both this weekend... Back to the story. There were hugs all around as I excitedly caught up with friends and helped set up for the party. Ms. M and Mr. R arrived and I greeted both of them and went off to badly attempt to put together some of the cubicle play space areas. As I was doing that, in walked my friends K, S, and Y. I may have knocked over the cubicle I was attempting to build. This was a surprise as I hadn't seen Y since April. He has this habit of showing up places and surprising everyone and I do NOT like surprises. Plus I had talked to him the week before and specifically asked "you're not just going to show up at the party unexpectedly are you?" Uh huh. My first reaction was to maybe punch him, but I love the guy so I was nice and gave him a hug instead. I was really thrilled to see him and everyone else. I knew the night was going to go by much too fast.

This particular weekend had quite a bit of build-up going on prior to my arrival. Okay, the build-up was mostly on my part. I like the anticipation. Some people were just out to get me. I don't know what it is with me and tops but there's just something about me that seems to set them off sometimes. I have no idea why. I'll watch someone else interact with certain tops and things are all nice and cordial. Then I make a comment and nearly have my head taken off. A bystander said "Wow, so-and-so IS mean to you!" Well yeah, did you think I was lea-xaggerating? Lol. (Copyright pending on that word.) Anyhow, I knew that some people were really going to get me this time around. I'd been sending daily texts to some of my friends with an ongoing list of "Top 15 Reasons Not To Kill Lea" prior to the trip. I must say that they were totally valid reasons but do you think that helped me? Yeah, not so much. My friend P arrived at the party and she had little slips of paper she handed out to people that each had one of my reasons on it. Awesome. The remainder of the night under my nametag, I had the #1 reason which was "It's MORE evil to leave her alive so you can beat her again and again." Hey, a girl's got to appeal to a top's evil side. Or shall I say only side? (Totally don't get why they are after me...)

Before even getting to the party, Lea The Magic Marker was at it again. Mr. G and I had played earlier in the day and from a hand spanking I had already developed a speckling of bruises. Some people swear that with increased frequency and/or severity of play that bruising doesn't happen anymore but that's just never been the case for me. It's really annoying. There's a reason that my bottom inspired the color "Rea-lea Purple" to be added to the Crayola line. At the party, I played with Mr. B, my favorite Canadian top. This is where he'll say "I'm the only Canadian top you know." Yes, but that doesn't make it any less true, Mr. B. He'd hoped to get me before I was bruised this time but it was too late for that. Still early on though for what was to come. We went into one of the play spaces and I went across his knee as he spanked me with his hand. I quickly learned that the gym like floor of the center plus the lack of traction on my boots would prove to be interesting. Thank God I didn't end up sliding my feet far enough to knock over the whole cubicle. That so would happen to me. Lol. There may have been some reminders to be nice and ease off the Canadian jokes. But Canadian jokes are just funny! We hugged and I returned to socialize.

I knew I was going to have to be really careful with pacing myself at the party because there was going to be a lot of activity in a very short period of time and I'm not used to that. I'm certainly not a hard player, any reputation otherwise is completely undeserved. Lol. I caught up with my friend Mr. A. He gave me my first caning back in September which I wrote about here. I'd been wanting to try the canes again but unfortunately there wasn't time at this party, nor did I have much of my butt left by the end of the night. We went back into a play space and I went over his knee and received a hand spanking. This was a "nice" spanking on his part. Note to other bottoms- If a top ever says they were going "easy" on you and you sigh loud enough to inflate a hot air balloon, they tend to want to show you a comparison to prove you wrong. I didn't sigh in this particular instance, but just a side note. We hugged and parted and I tried to socialize a bit more. Mr. L had arrived and became aware of my contribution to the snack table which he wasn't too happy about. He hates Peeps, don't ask me how someone could dislike such cute sugary goodness, and had said prior to the party that if he saw them there I was in for it. Well, what can you do? If I go somewhere without Peeps, people would be asking if I was alright. He pulled me behind a curtain and bent me over a chair. I received several smacks with his hand to account for each box of the aforementioned cute sugary goodness.

I returned to chat with folks. I will mention here to all those who I didn't get that much time to talk with, I'm really sorry! I feel bad but there just was nowhere near enough time in the night to spend a good amount of time with everyone. I complain that the weekends go too fast and those last for 5 days, not 4 hours. Anyway, if I missed you, I apologize. Message me privately and I will tell you who is to blame for that. Lol. As I was talking with a few people, Mr. R appeared and went right for my ear and led me back to a booth by the aforementioned ear. Oww. My hair is never any protection, he just has some abnormal radar for locating ears. I went over his knee and he spanked me with his hand, making sure I knew that this was just a warm-up and we were nowhere near finished. Gulp. No, no we weren't.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts, aka Queen of the Spanking Blogosphere, has declared today the 6th annual Love Our Lurkers Day. It is an event dedicated to appreciating and recognizing our silent readers. Everyone is welcome to leave comments. If you're waiting for an invitation, this is it! So if you've been reading somewhere out there, please feel free to post a comment or ask a question. And to all those who regularly comment, you're appreciated. :-)

My blog statistics show that about 1 in 15 readers comment so I know there are more of you out there. Please feel free to join in! I'd love to hear from you and am happy to answer any questions. Share what brought you to this blog, what you like/don't like about it, your outlook on adult spanking, or just say hello. If you want me to talk about Peeps less, well, you can keep that to yourself. ;-)

I started Lea's Corner back in February and have really enjoyed writing here. I didn't know what would come of it at first but just wanted somewhere to put my thoughts down in one place. It's also proven an effective memory tool for those moments that may otherwise get lost in the shuffle of my head. It's been a lot of fun and I hope it's been enjoyable to all of you as readers, whether it's made you think about something or just laugh out loud. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your day and for all your feedback. It is truly appreciated.

Tomorrow night I'll be flying out to NYC for the SCONY party on Saturday. I'm very excited but have also been told by some that I'm very dead. O_O This will be my first party in the city, though I've attended many weekends. Looking forward to seeing good friends and meeting some new faces. And possibly hands... ;-) I'm sure it'll go by all too quickly before I have to fly home Monday. My phone is the least smart of the smartphones, but I'll reply to any comments left beyond Friday night as quickly as possible while I'm away. Have a good week, everyone!