Distracted Priest Pronounces Couple 'Man And Plumbing Problem'

COLUMBUS, OH—Father Gerald Reamer mistakenly pronounced groom Danny Colm and bride Rachael Hall "man and plumbing problem" during their wedding ceremony at the First Episcopalian Church yesterday. "We are gathered here today to witness the eternal union of these two faulty flush valves," said Reamer, urging anyone who objected to the nuptials of Mr. and Mrs. Colm to speak now or forever wait for the repairman to show up. "You may now kiss the outdated, thoroughly rusted iron pipes." Several guests attending the wedding reported that, immediately following the ceremony, Reamer bolted down the aisle and jumped into the couple's waiting limo, saying that he had to get home because he forgot to turn off his in sickness and in health.