Still overcoming in O.C.

Weekend mornings seem best suited for surfing or golfing. But sometimes there are more pressing things – like saving a little boy from racism.

After two hours of sharing racial incidents and exploring solutions, a mostly African American gathering forms an enormous circle at a church in Irvine. Holding hands, we sing a song I've not heard for many years.

More than 150 voices rise together: “Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, we shall overcome someday.”

I flash back to a hot August day in 1963 when we lived in Washington, D.C. My mother came home singing that song, telling of a man who dreamed of a nation in which children would be judged not “by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

My eyes fill with tears. A half-century later, the Rev. Martin Luther King's dream remains unrealized and the song we sing still applies.

I share with Betty Ladson. She looks me in the eye and says our nation is nothing like it was in 1963 when she was a high school student in Portsmouth, Va. Now, 67 and living in Anaheim, she tells me, “We can see the fruits of our labors. There is hope.”

But Ladson allows that living in Orange County, she sometimes feels like a fly in a bowl of milk.

Yes, there is work to do. And on this Saturday it is listening to stories.

Sitting in a circle of about 15 people at Christ Our Redeemer AME Church, Dominicia Buford of Yorba Linda says her eldest son has been the victim of bullying in high school.

He's a large lad and I whisper in his ear, “Really?”

He stares at the floor for a moment, looks at me and solemnly nods.

Really.

Buford says her son was hazed, members of a sports team sat on his face and his backpack was scrawled with homophobic slurs. She says one student was disciplined with a one-day suspension.

She says, “I can't be late to pick up my son.”

Buford says one teacher attempted to explain away the issue by saying, “We're not used to your kind in our neighborhood.”

Now, some of you will nod while others may shake your heads in disbelief, just as Buford says some school administrators did.

Believe or don't. But consider what I reported in my six-part series in October on white supremacy: The number of hate groups in the U.S. has skyrocketed in the past four years with the Southern Poverty Law Center reporting more than 1,000 hate groups.

Consider also that the OC Human Relations Commission documented a 14 percent increase in hate crimes last year, with the most incidents – 19 – against African Americans.

With Orange County's African American population hovering around 2 percent for decades, the statistics are especially troubling.

But as Ladson says, there is hope.

There are 10 discussion circles in the main worship room at Christ Our Redeemer. Most circles include a member of law enforcement, an OC Human Relations representative and a pastor. They are there to facilitate and take notes.

Buford adds that when African American teens get together to go to a mall, they must think several steps ahead to avoid confrontations. He calls having to take such precautions “frustrating.”

Ladson tells me her daughter was pulled over by police for not wearing a seat belt. But she says her daughter was belted.

Hers is an all too common experience for African Americans, especially for blacks driving luxury cars. For decades, it's even had its own nickname, DWB, “driving while black.”

Several participants agree such racial profiling is increasingly rare. Racial epithets also are declining. Still …

Linda Hammond, an Irvine microbiologist, tells me that she loves Orange County and that problems are exceptionally rare. Yet she, too, has a story.

Hammond was at the grocery store and two employees started muttering “chocolate milk.”

She was not in the dairy section.

Speaking less about her than about the two employees, Hammond says, “It made me feel sad.”

Junie Davis, an Irvine salon operator and member of the Human Relations Commission, advises, “Sometimes, you just got to blow people off.”

But Davis also points out that turning the other cheek often isn't enough. “We need to empower our kids to be able to use conflict resolution.”

After the discussion groups conclude, Marion Wheeler, an attorney and member of the Thurgood Marshall Bar Association, tells the group how to get along with white people: “Love them.”

You can hear hope for reverse love in the applause.

UCI Vice Chancellor Thomas Parnham reminds, “The only way hate reigns is when we allow it to reign through our silence.”

To ensure continued dialogue, the Human Relations Commission plans a series of such meetings. Next steps include looking for common themes among the stories. Then the commission will seek out and approach organizations best suited to tackle those themes.

But each one of us – right here, right now – holds the power for change.

There are certain things that simply happen and there are certain things we
choose.

I recently read an article about a motorcycle builder who said he “happens” to be a Hells Angel. Sorry pal, you
chose to be an outlaw biker.

That is not the case when it comes to race. After singing “We Shall Overcome,” the two women to the right and left of me – both of whom
happen to be black – hug and thank me for coming.

For a moment, I'm confused. Thank-yous for showing up? But after reflection, I realize they were thanking me for caring. I don't deserve thanks.

Looking at the cross above the altar, I remember the time a guy told me a joke that involved an African American, except he used a very different term. I said nothing. Here's the weird part: I didn't want to offend the guy.

Sometimes, things that take the least effort are the most difficult.

Talking to Ladson, a speech pathologist, I ask how she copes with racism. She usually smiles.

We talk about the civil rights movement of 50 years ago. As we chat, her grandson, Josiah, hugs a white blanket. Josiah will celebrate his second birthday this month.

Let's join hands so Josiah in another 50 years doesn't feel the need to sing, “We shall overcome – someday.”

David Whiting's column appears four days a week. dwhiting@ocregister.com

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