1.3.4126Maria Ay, but you must confine yourself within the 127modest limits of order.

1.3.5128Sir Toby Confine? I'll confine myself no finer than I am! 129These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be 130these boots too; an they be not, let them hang 131themselves in their own straps.

1.3.6132Maria That quaffing and drinking will undo you. I 133heard my lady talk of it yesterday--and of a foolish 134knight that you brought in one night here, to be her wooer.

1.3.12140Maria Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats. 141He's a very fool, and a prodigal.

1.3.13142Sir Toby Fie that you'll say so! He plays o'th'viol-de-gamboys, 143and speaks three or four languages word for word 144without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.

1.3.14145Maria He hath indeed, all most natural. For besides that 146he's a fool, he's a great quarreler; and but that he hath 147the gift of a coward, to allay the gust he hath in 148quarreling, 'tis thought among the prudent he would quickly 149have the gift of a grave.

1.3.15150Sir Toby By this hand, they are scoundrels and 151substractors that say so of him. Who are they?

1.3.17154Sir Toby With drinking healths to my niece! I'll drink 155to her as long as there is a passage in my throat, and drink 156in Illyria. He's a coward and a coistrel that will not 157drink to my niece till his brains turn o'th'toe, like a 158parish top.

1.3.43194Sir Toby O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary. [Pouring wine] When did 195I see thee so put down?

1.3.44196Sir Andrew Never in your life, I think, unless you see 197canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no 198more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I 199am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm 200to my wit.

1.3.63233Sir Toby Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have 234these gifts a curtain before 'em? Are they like to take 235dust, like Mistress Moll's picture? Why dost thou not go 236to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? 237My very walk should be a jig; I would not so much 238as make water but in a cinquepace! What dost thou 239mean! Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think by 240the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed 241under the star of a galliard.

1.3.64242Sir Andrew Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a 243flame-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?

1.3.65244Sir Toby What shall we do else? Were we not born under 245Taurus!

1.5.17326Clown[To the audience] Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling! 327Those wits that think they have thee, do very oft prove 328fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a 329wise man. For what says Quinapalus? "Better a witty fool, 330than a foolish wit." [To Olivia] God bless thee, lady!

1.5.20333Olivia Go to, y'are a dry fool; I'll no more of you. 334Besides, you grow dishonest.

1.5.21335Clown Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel 336will amend: for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool 337not dry. Bid the dishonest man mend himself: if he mend, 338he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher 339mend him. Anything that's mended is but patched; virtue 340that transgresses is but patched with sin, and sin that 341amends is but patched with virtue. If that this simple 342syllogism will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? 343As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a 344flower. The lady bade take away the fool, therefore I 345say again, take her away.

1.5.33362Clown The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your 363brother's soul, being in heaven. [To the Gentlemen] Take away the fool, 364gentlemen.

1.5.34365Olivia What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he 366not mend?

1.5.35367Malvolio Yes, and shall do, till the pangs of death shake 368him: infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the 369better fool.

1.5.36370Clown God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the 371better increasing your folly: Sir Toby will be sworn that 372I am no fox, but he will not pass his word for twopence 373that you are no fool.

1.5.38375Malvolio I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such 376a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with 377an ordinary fool, that has no more brain than a stone. 378Look you now, he's out of his guard already. Unless you 379laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I protest 380I take these wise men, that crow so at these set kind of 381fools, no better than the fools' zanies.

1.5.39382Olivia Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste 383with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, 384and of free disposition, is to take those things for 385bird-bolts that you deem cannon bullets. There is no 386slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail; 387nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do 388nothing but reprove.

1.5.40389Clown Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou 390speak'st well of fools.

1.5.64433Malvolio Madam, yond young fellow swears he will 434speak with you. I told him you were sick; he takes on 435him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak 436with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to have 437a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to 438speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? He's 439fortified against any denial.

1.5.72450Malvolio Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough 451for a boy: as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a codling 452when 'tis almost an apple. 'Tis with him in standing 453water between boy and man. He is very well-favored, 454and he speaks very shrewishly; one would think his 455mother's milk were scarce out of him.

1.5.79464Viola Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable 465beauty--[To Maria or a Gentleman] I pray you tell me if this be the lady of the house, 466for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my 467speech; for besides that it is excellently well penned, I have 468taken great pains to con it. [Olivia and others laugh.] Good beauties, let me 469sustain no scorn; I am very comptible, even to the least 470sinister usage.

1.5.81472Viola I can say little more than I have studied, and that 473question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me 474modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I 475may proceed in my speech.

1.5.85481Viola Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp your482self, for what is yours to bestow is not yours to 483reserve. But this is from my commission. I will on with 484my speech in your praise, and then show you the heart of 485my message.

1.5.86486Olivia Come to what is important in't, I forgive you 487the praise.

1.5.87488Viola Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis 489poetical.

1.5.88490Olivia It is the more like to be feigned, I pray you keep 491it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates, and allowed your 492approach rather to wonder at you, than to hear you. If 493you be not mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief. 494'Tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so 495skipping a dialogue.

1.5.91500Olivia Sure you have some hideous matter to deliver, 501when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.

1.5.92502Viola It alone concerns your ear. I bring no 503overture of war, no taxation of homage. I hold the olive 504in my hand. My words are as full of peace as matter.

1.5.93505Olivia Yet you began rudely. What are you? 506What would you?

1.5.94507Viola The rudeness that hath appeared in me, have I 508learned from my entertainment. What I am, and what I 509would, are as secret as maidenhead: to your ears, 510divinity; to any others', profanation.

1.5.95511Olivia Give us the place alone; 512we will hear this divinity.

1.5.113535Olivia O sir, I will not be so hardhearted. I will give 536out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried, 537and every particle and utensil labeled to my will: as, 538item, [Indicating] two lips, indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, 539with lids to them; item, one neck; one chin; and so forth. 540Were you sent hither to praise me?

2.1.1612Antonio Will you stay no longer? Nor will you not that 613I go with you?

2.1.2614Sebastian By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly 615over me. The malignancy of my fate might perhaps 616distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave 617that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad 618recompense for your love to lay any of them on you.

2.1.4620Sebastian No, sooth, sir. My determinate voyage is mere 621extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent a touch 622of modesty that you will not extort from me what I am 623willing to keep in; therefore it charges me in manners 624the rather to express myself. You must know of me 625then, Antonio, my name is Sebastian (which I called 626Roderigo). My father was that Sebastian of Messaline whom I 627know you have heard of. He left behind him myself 628and a sister, both born in an hour. If the heavens had 629been pleased, would we had so ended! But you, sir, 630altered that, for some hour before you took me from the 631breach of the sea was my sister drowned.

2.1.6633Sebastian A lady, sir, though it was said she much 634resembled me, was yet of many accounted beautiful. But though 635I could not with such estimable wonder overfar 636believe that, yet thus far I will boldly publish her: she 637bore a mind that envy could not but call fair.[Weeping] She is 638drowned already, sir, with salt water, though I seem to 639drown her remembrance again with more.

2.1.9642Antonio If you will not murder me for my love, let me 643be your servant.

2.1.10644Sebastian If you will not undo what you have done--that is, 645kill him whom you have recovered--desire it not. Fare 646ye well at once; my bosom is full of kindness, and I 647am yet so near the manners of my mother that upon the 648least occasion more mine eyes will tell tales of me. I am 649bound to the Count Orsino's court; farewell.

2.2.2659Viola Even now, sir; on a moderate pace, I have since 660arrived but hither.

2.2.3661Malvolio She returns this ring to you, sir. You might 662have saved me my pains to have taken it away your663self. She adds, moreover, that you should put your lord 664into a desperate assurance she will none of him. And one 665thing more: that you be never so hardy to come again 666in his affairs, unless it be to report your lord's taking 667of this. [Offering the ring] Receive it so.

2.2.5669Malvolio Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and 670her will is, it should be so returned. [Throwing the ring down] If it be worth 671stooping for, there it lies, in your eye; if not, be it his that 672finds it.

2.3.1700Sir Toby Approach, Sir Andrew. Not to be abed after 701midnight, is to be up betimes; and diluculo surgere, thou 702know'st.

2.3.2703Sir Andrew Nay, by my troth, I know not; but I know to 704be up late is to be up late.

2.3.3705Sir Toby A false conclusion. I hate it as an unfilled can. 706To be up after midnight, and to go to bed then, is early; 707so that to go to bed after midnight, is to go to bed 708betimes. Does not our life consist of the four 709elements?

2.3.4710Sir Andrew Faith, so they say, but I think it rather consists 711of eating and drinking.

2.3.5712Sir Toby Th'art a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink. 713[Calling] Marian, I say, a stoup of wine!

2.3.9719Sir Andrew By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I 720had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so 721sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. In sooth, thou wast 722in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of 723Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of 724Queubus. 'Twas very good, i'faith. I sent thee sixpence 725for thy leman--hadst it?

2.3.10726Clown I did impeticos thy gratillity: for Malvolio's nose 727is no whipstock, my lady has a white hand, and the 728Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.

2.3.11729Sir Andrew Excellent! Why, this is the best fooling, when 730all is done. Now a song!

2.3.34756Sir Toby To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. 757But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall we 758rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three 759souls out of one weaver? Shall we do that?

2.3.35760Sir Andrew An you love me, let's do't! I am dog at a 761catch.

2.3.42771Maria What a caterwauling do you keep here! If 772my lady have not called up her steward Malvolio, and 773bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.

2.3.43774Sir Toby My lady's a Cathayan, we are politicians, Malvolio's 775a Peg-a-Ramsay, and [Singing] "Three merry men be we"! Am not I 776consanguineous? Am I not of her blood? Tilly-vally, 777lady! [Singing] "There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady"!

2.3.48785Malvolio My masters, are you mad! Or what are you? 786Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble 787like tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an 788alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your 789coziers' catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? 790Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?

2.3.50792Malvolio Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady 793bade me tell you that, though she harbors you as her 794kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If you can 795separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you are 796welcome to the house. If not, an it would please you to take 797leave of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell.

2.3.51798Sir Toby[Singing][To Maria] "Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone."

2.3.67821Sir Andrew 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's 822a-hungry, to challenge him the field, and then to break 823promise with him, and make a fool of him.

2.3.68824Sir Toby Do't, knight. I'll write thee a challenge; or I'll 825deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

2.3.69826Maria Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight. Since 827the youth of the count's was today with my lady, she is 828much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me alone 829with him. If I do not gull him into a nayword, and make 830him a common recreation, do not think I have wit 831enough to lie straight in my bed. I know I can do it.

2.3.74837Sir Andrew I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason 838good enough.

2.3.75839Maria The devil a puritan that he is, or anything 840constantly but a time-pleaser, an affectioned ass, that 841cons state without book, and utters it by great swaths. 842The best persuaded of himself, so crammed, as he thinks, 843with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith that all 844that look on him love him; and on that vice in him will 845my revenge find notable cause to work.

2.3.77847Maria I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of 848love, wherein by the color of his beard, the shape of his 849leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, 850forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most 851feelingly personated. I can write very like my lady 852your niece; on a forgotten matter we can hardly make 853distinction of our hands.

2.3.85863Maria Sport royal, I warrant you. I know my 864physic will work with him. I will plant you two, and let 865the fool make a third, where he shall find the letter. 866Observe his construction of it. For this night, to bed, and 867dream on the event. Farewell.

2.4.70959Clown Now the melancholy god protect thee, and the 960tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for thy 961mind is a very opal. I would have men of such 962constancy put to sea, that their business might be everything, 963and their intent everywhere; for that's it that always 964makes a good voyage of nothing. Farewell.

2.5.81031Maria Get ye all three into the box-tree. Malvolio's 1032coming down this walk; he has been yonder i'the 1033sun practicing behavior to his own shadow this half 1034hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery, for I know 1035this letter will make a contemplative idiot of him. Close, 1036in the name of jesting! [The men hide.] Lie thou there; [Placing the letter on the stage] for here comes 1037the trout that must be caught with tickling.

2.5.91039Malvolio[To the audience] 'Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once 1040told me she did affect me, and I have heard herself come 1041thus near, that should she fancy, it should be one of 1042my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more 1043exalted respect than anyone else that follows her. What 1044should I think on't? [He struts about the stage.]

2.5.291073Malvolio Seven of my people, with an obedient start, 1074make out for him. I frown the while, and perchance 1075wind up my watch, or play with my--[Realizing he is playing with his steward's chain] some rich jewel. 1076Toby approaches; curtsies there to me--

2.5.461100Malvolio[To the audience, as he examines the outside of the letter] By my life, this is my lady's hand: these be her 1101very C's, her U's, and her T's, and thus makes she her 1102great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.

2.5.641123Sir Toby[Aside] And with what wing the staniel checks at it!

2.5.651124Malvolio "I may command, where I adore." Why, she may 1125command me: I serve her, she is my lady. Why, this is 1126evident to any formal capacity. There is no obstruction 1127in this. And the end--what should that alphabetical 1128position portend? If I could make that resemble something 1129in me! Softly. "M.O.A.I."

2.5.661130Sir Toby[Aside] Oh, ay, make up that! He is now at a cold scent.

2.5.671131Fabian[Aside] Sowter will cry upon't for all this, though it be 1132as rank as a fox.

2.5.741142Fabian[Aside] Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you might 1143see more detraction at your heels than fortunes before 1144you.

2.5.751145Malvolio "M.O.A.I." This simulation is not as the former; 1146and yet to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for 1147every one of these letters are in my name. Soft, here 1148follows prose.

"If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars 1149I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness. Some 1150are born great, some achieve greatness, and some 1151have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy fates open their hands, 1152let thy blood and spirit embrace them; and to 1153inure thyself to what thou art like to be, cast thy humble 1154slough, and appear fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman, 1155surly with servants; let thy tongue tang arguments of 1156state; put thyself into the trick of singularity. She 1157thus advises thee, that sighs for thee. Remember who 1158commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee 1159ever cross-gartered. I say remember. Go to, thou art 1160made if thou desir'st to be so. If not, let me see thee 1161a steward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to 1162touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell.

2.5.79Daylight and 1164champaign discovers not more! This is open. I will be 1165proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle Sir 1166Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be 1167point-device the very man. I do not now fool myself, to let 1168imagination jade me; for every reason excites to this, 1169that my lady loves me. She did commend my yellow 1170stockings of late, she did praise my leg being 1171cross-gartered, and in this she manifests herself to my love, and 1172with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of 1173her liking. I thank my stars, I am happy. I will be 1174strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, 1175even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my 1176stars be praised! Here is yet a postscript. [Reading]

2.5.951200Maria If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark 1201his first approach before my lady. He will come to her 1202in yellow stockings, and 'tis a color she abhors, and 1203cross-gartered, a fashion she detests; and he will smile 1204upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her 1205disposition, being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it 1206cannot but turn him into a notable contempt. If you will 1207see it, follow me.

3.1.161244Clown No indeed, sir! The Lady Olivia has no folly. She 1245will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are 1246as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings: the 1247husband's the bigger. I am indeed not her fool, but her 1248corrupter of words.

3.1.181250Clown Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the 1251sun, it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the 1252fool should be as oft with your master as with my 1253mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.

3.1.191254Viola Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with 1255thee. Hold, [Giving him a coin] there's expenses for thee.

3.1.201256Clown Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send 1257thee a beard.

3.1.211258Viola By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for 1259one, [To the audience] though I would not have it grow on my chin. [To the Clown.] Is 1260thy lady within?

3.1.221261Clown[Indicating the coin] Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?

3.1.261266Clown The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a 1267beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I 1268will conster to them whence you come; who you are, and 1269what you would, are out of my welkin--I might say 1270element, but the word is overworn.

3.2.91394Fabian I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of 1395judgment and reason.

3.2.101396Sir Toby And they have been grand-jurymen since before 1397Noah was a sailor.

3.2.111398Fabian She did show favor to the youth in your sight 1399only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, 1400to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. 1401You should then have accosted her, and with some 1402excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged 1403the youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your 1404hand, and this was balked. The double gilt of this 1405opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into 1406the north of my lady's opinion, where you will hang 1407like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do 1408redeem it by some laudable attempt, either of valor or 1409policy.

3.2.121410Sir Andrew An't be any way, it must be with valor, for 1411policy I hate.[To the audience] I had as lief be a Brownist, as a 1412politician.

3.2.131413Sir Toby Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of 1414valor. Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him, 1415hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall take note of it; 1416and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world 1417can more prevail in man's commendation with women 1418than report of valor.

3.2.161421Sir Toby Go, write it in a martial hand. Be cursed and brief. 1422It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and full of 1423invention. Taunt him with the license of ink. If thou 1424"thou'st" him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as 1425many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the 1426sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in 1427England, set 'em down. Go, about it! Let there be gall 1428enough in thy ink; though thou write with a goose-pen, 1429no matter. About it!

3.2.201434Sir Toby I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand 1435strong, or so.

3.2.211436Fabian We shall have a rare letter from him--but you'll 1437not deliver't?

3.2.221438Sir Toby Never trust me then; and by all means stir on 1439the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes 1440cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened 1441and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the 1442foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of th'anatomy.

3.2.231443Fabian And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no 1444great presage of cruelty.

3.2.251447Maria If you desire the spleen, and will laugh your 1448selves into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is 1449turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian 1450that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever 1451believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in 1452yellow stockings!

3.2.271454Maria Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a 1455school i'th'church. I have dogged him like his 1456murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped 1457to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines 1458than is in the new map with the augmentation of the 1459Indies; you have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can 1460hardly forbear hurling things at him; I know my lady will 1461strike him. If she do, he'll smile, and take't for a great 1462favor.

3.4.151541Malvolio Sad, lady? I could be sad. 1542This does make some obstruction in the blood, 1543this cross-gartering; but what of that? 1544If it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true 1545sonnet is, [Singing] "Please one, and please all."

3.4.401579Servant Madam, the young gentleman of the Count 1580Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back. He 1581attends your ladyship's pleasure.

3.4.411582Olivia I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.]1583Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my 1584cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care 1585of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of 1586my dowry.

3.4.421587Malvolio Oh ho, do you come near me now? [To the audience] No worse 1588man than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs 1589directly with the letter. She sends him on purpose, that I may 1590appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in 1591the letter. "Cast thy humble slough," says she, "be 1592opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants, let thy tongue 1593tang with arguments of state, put thyself into the 1594trick of singularity"; and consequently sets down the 1595manner how: as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow 1596tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. 1597I have limed her, but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me 1598thankful. And when she went away now, "Let this 1599fellow be looked to." "Fellow!" Not Malvolio, nor after my 1600degree, but "fellow." Why, everything adheres together, 1601that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no 1602obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance--what 1603can be said? Nothing that can be can come between 1604me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well Jove, not I, 1605is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

3.4.431607Sir Toby[Pretending not to see Malvolio] Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all 1608the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself 1609possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.

3.4.701657Sir Toby Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. 1658My niece is already in the belief that he's mad. We may 1659carry it thus for our pleasure, and his penance, till our 1660very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy 1661on him; at which time we will bring the device to the bar 1662and crown thee for a finder of madmen.

3.4.891690Maria You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now 1691in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by 1692depart.

3.4.901693Sir Toby Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner 1694of the orchard like a bum-baily. So soon as ever thou 1695see'st him, draw. And as thou draw'st, swear horrible; for 1696it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath with a 1697swaggering accent, sharply twanged off, gives manhood more 1698approbation than ever proof itself would have earned 1699him. Away!

3.4.921701Sir Toby Now will not I deliver his letter; for the 1702behavior of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good 1703capacity and breeding. His employment between his 1704lord and my niece confirms no less. Therefore this 1705letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror 1706in the youth; he will find it comes from a clodpoll. 1707But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth, 1708set upon Aguecheek a notable report of valor, and drive 1709the gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receive it) 1710into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and 1711impetuosity. This will so fright them both that they will 1712kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.

3.4.1181753Sir Toby He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and 1754on carpet consideration, but he is a devil in private brawl. 1755Souls and bodies hath he divorced three, and his 1756incensement at this moment is so implacable that satisfaction 1757can be none but by pangs of death and sepulcher. "Hob, 1758nob" is his word: giv't or take't.

3.4.1191759Viola I will return again into the house, and desire 1760some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard 1761of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on 1762others to taste their valor; belike this is a man of that 1763quirk.

3.4.1201764Sir Toby Sir, no. His indignation derives itself out of a 1765very competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him 1766his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you 1767undertake that with me which with as much safety you 1768might answer him. Therefore on, or strip your sword 1769stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or 1770forswear to wear iron about you.

3.4.1211771Viola[To the audience] This is as uncivil as strange. [To Sir Toby] I beseech you, do 1772me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what 1773my offence to him is. It is something of my negligence, 1774nothing of my purpose.

3.4.1221775Sir Toby I will do so. [To Fabian] Signor Fabian, stay you by this 1776gentleman till my return.

3.4.1261782Fabian Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him 1783by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of 1784his valor. He is indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and 1785fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any 1786part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? [Viola hesitates.] I will make 1787your peace with him, if I can.

3.4.1271788Viola I shall be much bound to you for't. I am one 1789that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight; I care 1790not who knows so much of my mettle.

3.4.1281792Sir Toby Why, man, he's a very devil, I have not seen such 1793a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, 1794and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion 1795that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as 1796surely as your feet hits the ground they step on. They 1797say he has been fencer to the Sophy.

3.4.1301799Sir Toby Ay, but he will not now be pacified; [Pointing towards Viola and Fabian]1800Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.

3.4.1311801Sir Andrew Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant, 1802and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere 1803I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and 1804I'll give him my horse, gray Capilet.

3.4.1321805Sir Toby I'll make the motion. Stand here, make a good 1806show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls. 1807[Aside] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

3.4.1331809[To Fabian] I have his horse to take up the quarrel. I have persuaded 1810him the youth's a devil.

3.4.1341811Fabian[Indicating Viola] He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and 1812looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

3.4.1351813Sir Toby[To Viola] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for's 1814oath sake. Marry, he hath better bethought him of his 1815quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth 1816talking of. Therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; 1817he protests he will not hurt you.

3.4.1361818Viola[To the audience] Pray God defend me! A little thing would make 1819me tell them how much I lack of a man.

3.4.1381821Sir Toby Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy, the 1822gentleman will for his honor's sake have one bout with you. 1823He cannot by the duello avoid it. But he has promised 1824me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt 1825you. [To them both] Come on, to't.

3.4.2171906Sir Toby A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward 1907than a hare. His dishonesty appears in leaving his friend 1908here in necessity, and denying him; and for his 1909cowardship, ask Fabian.

4.1.41923Clown Well held out i'faith! No, I do not know you, 1924nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come 1925speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; 1926nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so, is so.

4.1.71929Clown Vent my folly! [To the audience] He has heard that word of some 1930great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my 1931folly! I am afraid this great lubber the world will prove a 1932cockney. [To Sebastian] I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell 1933me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that 1934thou art coming?

4.1.181949Sir Andrew Nay, let him alone. I'll go another way to work 1950with him: I'll have an action of battery against him, if 1951there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet 1952it's no matter for that.

4.2.21989Clown[To the audience] Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself 1990in't, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in 1991such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the 1992function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good 1993student; but to be said an honest man and a good 1994housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great 1995scholar.

4.2.51998ClownBonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, 1999that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece 2000of King Gorboduc, "That that is, is"; so I, being Master Parson, 2001am Master Parson; for what is "that" but "that," and "is" but "is"?

4.2.142014Malvolio[Within] Sir Topaz, never was man thus wronged. Good 2015Sir Topaz, do not think I am mad: they have laid me 2016here in hideous darkness.

4.2.152017Clown Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the 2018most modest terms-- [Including the audience] for I am one of those gentle ones 2019that will use the devil himself with courtesy--say'st thou 2020that house is dark?

4.2.172022Clown Why, it hath bay windows transparent as 2023barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south-north are 2024as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of 2025obstruction?

4.2.182026Malvolio[Within] I am not mad, Sir Topaz; I say to you this house is 2027dark.

4.2.192028Clown Madman, thou errest. I say there is no darkness 2029but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the 2030Egyptians in their fog.

4.2.202031Malvolio[Within] I say this house is as dark as ignorance, though2032ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say there was 2033never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are. 2034Make the trial of it in any constant question.

4.2.212035Clown What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning 2036wildfowl?

4.2.222037Malvolio[Within] That the soul of our grandam might haply 2038inhabit a bird.

4.2.302051Sir Toby[To Clown] To him in thine own voice, and bring me word 2052how thou find'st him. I would we were well rid of this 2053knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would 2054he were, for I am now so far in offence with my niece, 2055that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the 2056upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.

4.2.402065Malvolio[Within] Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at 2066my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. 2067As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee 2068for't.

4.2.542094Malvolio[Within] By this hand, I am! Good fool, some ink, 2095paper, and light; and convey what I will set down to my 2096lady. It shall advantage thee more than ever the 2097bearing of letter did.

4.2.552098Clown I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not 2099mad indeed, or do you but counterfeit?

5.1.132170Clown Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me. 2171Now, my foes tell me plainly I am an ass, so that by my 2172foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself, and by my 2173friends I am abused. So that, conclusions to be as kisses, if 2174your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why 2175then, the worse for my friends and the better for my foes.

5.1.202185Orsino Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-2186dealer; there's another. [Orsino gives him another gold coin.]

5.1.212187ClownPrimo, secundo, tertio is a good play; and the old 2188saying is, "the third pays for all"; the triplex, sir, is a good 2189tripping measure; or the bells of Saint Bennet, sir, may put 2190you in mind: one, two, three.

5.1.222191Orsino You can fool no more money out of me at this 2192throw. If you will let your lady know I am here to speak 2193with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my 2194bounty further.

5.1.232195Clown Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come 2196again. I go, sir, but I would not have you to think that 2197my desire of having is the sin of covetousness--but as 2198you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap; I will awake it 2199anon.

5.1.1572353Sir Andrew If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt 2354me; I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. 2355Here comes Sir Toby halting; you shall hear more. But if 2356he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you 2357othergates than he did.

5.1.2412452Clown Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave's end as 2453well as a man in his case may do. He's here writ a letter to 2454you. I should have given't you today morning, but as a 2455madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much 2456when they are delivered.

"By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and 2470the world shall know it. Though you have put me into 2471darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, 2472yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your 2473ladyship. I have your own letter, that induced me to the 2474semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to 2475do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of 2476me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, 2477and speak out of my injury. _The madly-used Malvolio."

5.1.3072540Olivia[To Malvolio] Alas, poor fool, how have they baffled thee!

5.1.3082541Clown[To Malvolio] Why, "Some are born great, some achieve 2542greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them." I 2543was one, sir, in this interlude, one Sir Topaz, sir; but that's 2544all one. "By the Lord, fool, I am not mad!" But do you 2545remember: "Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? 2546An you smile not, he's gagged." And thus the whirligig 2547of time brings in his revenges.