Friday, December 28, 2012

4 Things.

a very summery photo on this very unsummery day

1. Thanks for all your emails, DMs, and comments on my last post. No matter what, whenever you put something out there that makes yourself a little vulnerable it can be scary. Last night I started to feel like it had been a mistake after more than a few of my friends texted or called me totally confused and then appalled after googling to see what I was talking about. Having to rehash and talk about something that had been hard for me to deal with wasn't fun at all. I woke up this morning feeling better though, and happy that I was able to share my feelings on the situation. It was a huge growing experience and I'm grateful for it as strange as it is, and it felt good to finally address it, and just be done with it. I won't be writing about it again, and like I told one friend who called me about it last night and wanted to fill me in on what was being said over there, I don't care to know. They have their space, I have mine...and that's okay. I understand that being public and writing a blog garners attention, both positive and negative, but I don't need to seek out the negativity. Why on earth would I do that? A wise friend told me "what I don't read can't hurt me," and it's so true. At some level, even through the "but I don't care" we all care about shit like this, but continuing on this journey there is no room in my world for unconstructive criticism or meanness. However I am ALWAYS open to constructive criticism or commentary so please comment me, email me, reach out to me...I am always all ears. Although I do write this blog for my own enjoyment, it has grown and evolved into more now, and so I do believe it's important to listen to input and move forward accordingly. And I think that's all I have to say about all of that besides one more big thank you to those of you who sent me kind emails and left thoughtful comments. Let's move on now (again...haha!) because I'm boring and annoying even myself.

2. So my totally embarrassing love for bad (amazing?) television has taken another turn for the worse. Henry's been going to bed at 7pm but now sleeping until 8am, so I've been able to stay up until midnight most nights and the past couple of evenings I've gotten sucked into a new show...Hart of Dixie. Hank walked in the living room and watched maybe 2 minutes of the last episode I watched and walked out laughing, shaking his head. I don't know what it is but I just love shows like this- the cheesier the better. So add this one to that list, right alongside Make It Or Break It. I've only had time to watch a few episodes but I'm really enjoying it...even though I feel like Rachel Bilson might not be such a great actress in this role. But surprise, surprise, I don't even care!

3. I've been trying to really think of a theme for 2013. I'll be posting about this over the weekend or Monday, but last year I chose one and this year I'll be doing the same. I feel like I'm always working on goals of some sort, so it's easiest for me to pick an overall theme or idea and just go with that. I just finished reading Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin and it's completely inspired me, so I think I may lean towards a more home-oriented idea. We'll see. I also have more-specific blog goals to share, that I've already been working towards (ahem, more personal posts). Do you do goals, resolutions (I feel like these are different than goals for some reason), or themes? Do tell!

4. I originally named this post "3 Things," but after thinking about this all morning I wanted to write about it. A dear friend of some of my best friends passed away yesterday. And so all of this- that website, the negative feelings, stupid television shows, themes, goals, whatever, everything, anything, all of it, is trivial. Yesterday's post embarrasses me in this aftermath. It does not matter. Me and my feelings and my paragraphs do not matter. I won't pretend to have been friends with Matt, but I do know how he affected every single person he knew- he was sunshine, joy, and so this loss, my friends' loss, affects me. It makes me think a lot about this life and what I'm doing in it, how I'm spending my time, and who and what I'm surrounding myself with. I sit here while Henry is napping and I imagine my life without all of the things I hold so important and try and pare it all down to the most important things. My family, this love. That is all. It breaks my heart to know my friends' friend won't get to experience all of this. It breaks my heart that things like this happen and we have no control. I hate this world as much as I love it. I don't understand so much of it and it confuses me to no end if I think too much about the hows and the whys. I just wish I could understand even a little bit more.

19 comments:

You're not alone in cheesy show love :) I've already watched all the Hart of Dixie that's on Netflix! I like being exposed to calm and sweet, there's enough serious drama in my work and in the world. Unicorns and bunny rabbits forever!

Eh, Hart of Dixie rocks my world! Did you see those little leather shorts she had on in the last ep. I mean, there is NO WAY she would get away with those in NY never mind Alabama!! p.s. when is the next ep of Nashville??? ...and the Mindy Project actually. I'm suffering withdrawal!

p.p.s. Shake off dem haters! You're awesomeness!

....and finally, I hate this world as much as I love it too....we just got to keep getting up every day and being thankful for the life we do have.

First thing.... how, how how do you get Henry to sleep so well? Jarvis is almost 13 months and still wakes(every night) every two hours or so. I need sleep. Second... my 20 year old gets me addicted to trashy shows, she tapes them and then we watch them together. Pure junk food for the brain, but cannot help it.http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

I am so sorry to hear about your friends friend Matt. When something tragic like this happens its like a ripple affect, I can see how it could affect your heart. I hope Matts family and friends are surrounded by those that love them and that they are able to celebrate his life and focus on the wonderful memories they have of him.

My motto for 2012 was "think less, do more". I think it works better to have more specific goals in mind though, so for 2013 rather than telling myself just to exercise more, I'm going to sign up for a couple of 10k runs and a half marathon, that way I'll have something concrete to work towards.

I love your blog - I don't comment often but not because I'm not reading - (sorry - sort of makes me feel guilty - like a bad reader!) - anyway, I do love that you shared all of the thoughts you had on sharing, criticism etc....I have a small mostly personal blog and although it's totally not on the same scale as yours I often think about the amount I'm sharing, what potential criticism could come of it --- but in the end you are so right, who cares?! You are clearly a great person and a great mom as are most of us out there and really blogging is just the modern day way to memory keep in a way so good for you for sticking with it - and standing up to it! It's like adult bullies - cyber bullies!! Seems like a total cliche that shoudl be on 20/20 or somethign...like one of those John Legozamo specials...you know the ones? (What would you do!???!!!) - anyway...I guess what I'm trying to say is Haters gonna hate and I love your blog and I have a boston terrier and a two year old boy too :)

Just want to throw it out there that I too love Hart of Dixie! I latched on to that show last season and I could not stop watching. Rachel Bilson as a doctor seems absolutely crazy when you think about it, but that show is still my guilty pleasure. It's so cheesy in all the best ways.

I love your blog by the way! I've never commented but I truly enjoy all of your posts and you look like a wonderful Mama! It's inspiring!

Hart of Dixie is an awesome show! I've been watching it since the beginning it came out because I really like Rachel Bilson and I hoped it would take me away to the O.C. once again. It's not The O.C. but I really really like it!! You should check out the 'rap' she did on youtube ! SO funny.

I am quite ashamed to admit I just stumbled upon this awful blog discussion forum and became engrossed for quite a while. It's awful how we can't stop reading things like that. I will certainly not be visiting again. Glad you have been able to rise above it - not sure how much I'd not let it affect me if I was discussed. My blog is fairly new and I struggle with myself about how much I want to write and say and am constantly worried about who reads it and what they think.

Anyway - I just wanted to comment and say how much I love your blog and your writing. Happy 2013 :)

I am sorry to hear about your friend's death - a similar thing happened to me last week and it really does just put everything into perspective.

First, I am so glad that you haven't let the negative things people have said get to you because I adore your little corner of the world and would be so sad to see it go due to rude people.

Second, and most important, I am SO glad someone else loves terrible TV. I got hooked on Hart of Dixie recently too and my boyfriend won't allow me to watch it when he is home! I never planned on watching Revenge until I saw that you said it was pretty good and now I am hooked on that too! Ah!

Yuck to getting lost in weird thoughts. I honestly thinks it's the "lighter" things in life that we're grateful for in life that make the "heavier" ones much more bearable. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's friend. Doesn't matter whose connected to whom, death can affect us all. Good thoughts for you and your friends. :)

I love Hart of Dixie. I was sadly going through a miscarriage and couldn't handle anything dark or heavy and Rachel Bilson's clothes and Jaime King's embarrassing southern accent actually helped. I watched every episode on netflix and then started watching on Tuesday nights. My husband hates it so much so I watch it when he's gone so he doesn't spoil it for me!

I love your writing and just wanted to de-lurk to encourage you to continue with it, despite negative feelings from within and without. Oh yeah, and to recommend that you give ABC's Nashville a try. I think it's slightly less cheesy than Hart of Dixie but hits all the right notes. It's basically a soap opera, but one of the better ones. I watched one episode and got sucked into the whole season--so you see you're not alone.

Danielle?I just went and found that site. Honestly, it just saddens me altogether.

I never cared for the L&S posts either. But I clicked "mark as read," and moved on about my day. If I didn't care for your blog, I would not visit and would unsubscribe. But people who feel like nothing want others to feel the same. And if they "hate follow" you, that says so much about them, and absolutely nothing about you.

I take what I want from your blog [tips/inspiration, recipes (quiche! I had never had it and <3 it now), and a WHOLE LOT of baby fever--he's so freakin' adorable], and I leave the rest behind. If that's okay with you, that's okay with me. Live your life, share with us what you want, and know that a MAJORITY of your followers are nothing like the scum on that board.

I LOVE Hart of Dixie, I felt the same way about it, but got sucked in starting in the middle of season 1 and I've been hooked since. Love it. It gets better and the acting is a tad better this season too. I LOVE Wade also, lol :) enjoy!

Hi DanielleThis is Tara or modernmaven from IG. I just wanted to say how much I love your blog and appreciate your writing. Your honesty is refreshing and the words you use to describe yourself are so similar to the words that run around in my brain about myself. I can understand where you are coming from...sometimes it feels like we are alone but it's nice to know we aren't! And it is hard to not listen to the negativity of others and to keep it from affecting us. It is inspiring to have women like you, who are willing to share their lives and thoughts. Thank you for being part of this crazy/wonderful blogging community. I think you are just lovely and I enjoy your smiling little boy so much. Channing is almost 2 and I am amazed every day at what she brings to our lives. Thank you for being you and for continuing to share. Much love and hugs to you!! Tara