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And, as an aside, it's nice to see that the toothbrush thing isn't just me - I find it a very personal thing. It *meant* something to me when my partner began to leave his toothbrush in the holder with mine and my kids', and I loved it even more when his daughter left hers in the same place. It's *home*. From my personal POV, she's displacing you from your rightful place in your home. If it had been me, I probably would have had fantasies about displacing HER toothbrush right in the toilet.

There are folks i know of who would argue, "it's just a TOOTHBRUSH, for god's sake. What's the big deal?" and try to make it out like the OP has some sort of OCD about material objects with little value to anyone else, and for not being understanding that maybe the girlfriend doesn't have a toothbrush holder and keeps hers in the cabinet, and it's just old habits are hard to break, etc.

Anyway first of all, this has been going on longer than 2 weeks. So she very well may be more familiar with the inside of your home than you think. Even if that be the case, it is still not ok. Second, i'm sure everyone agrees that this isn't ABOUT the toothbrush, it's about the toothbrush being a very personal thing that nobody else should even WANT to touch. I mean, even if she DOES do it differently at her place, this is not her place, and... You just don't DO something like that! It's safe to assume that we all as adults know how to brush our teeth, what kind of toothpaste we like, etc. that we don't need help from some newcomer.

ROFLMAO... I am extremely OCD when it comes to my toothbrush and my personal space. I find one of the greatest attributes about being submissive is my ability to be patient, bide my time and figure out what to do that will be best for me. I will let things be with them for now, in the mean time I will be working on me... Separating finances, work and where to go all with a smile on my face and a skip in my step because at the end of the day she CAN'T be me!!
And yes I have thought about the different things I'd like to do to her toothbrush!!

ROFLMAO... I am extremely OCD when it comes to my toothbrush and my personal space. I find one of the greatest attributes about being submissive is my ability to be patient, bide my time and figure out what to do that will be best for me. I will let things be with them for now, in the mean time I will be working on me... Separating finances, work and where to go all with a smile on my face and a skip in my step because at the end of the day she CAN'T be me!!
And yes I have thought about the different things I'd like to do to her toothbrush!!

Good for you. And for the record, so what if you ARE "OCD". I didn't mean to imply that being like that about your "stuff" is a character flaw. I meant all that like, it isn't for other people to dictate what you should put where in your own home and then judge you for it. I judge people all the time, but i invite them to judge me right back, and i am aware that my "judgment" says more about me than it does about the person whom i'm judging - but i am a firm believer that one does not go into someone else's home and re-arrange items in closets, cabinets, refrigerators, drawers, attics, cellars, crawl-spaces, chimneys, plumbing, woodwork, floorboards, barns, sheds, outhouses, wells, cisterns, tents, trailers, tractors, trucks, doghouses, outhouses (didn't i already say "outhouses"?), henhouses, yurts, wigwams, igloos, canoes, or ANYTHING that belongs to me and does not belong to you, without permission from the owner(s). Keep your fucking hands off my stuff and get your own damn castle, queenie. Kthxbai.

And that bit about your husband wanting you to teach her to be like you is just ridiculous and weird, D/s or no D/s. see what i did there? I judged someone. Go ahead - judge me now. I can take it.

No judgement here... I agree!!
I'm so glad I spend most of my time on the road!!
Trying to stay positive or appear to be positive

I have a relationship with pessimism myself. It is based on the idea that it's a waste of energy to force optimism/positivity on oneself, sort of like swimming upstream against a strong current ( i like this analogy so i'm gonna run with it). Sometimes, you waste energy swimming upstream when you could ride the current downstream, get out, and walk back upstream to where you wanted to be.

However, if "being positive" comes easy to you and does not sap your energy, by all means you should continue to do what works.

it only takes one good friend that shares your outlook, understands you and who you are, if you can trust each other's judgement, there will never be any misery powerful enough to drag you down. Not even if it's the entire world.

There will always be people in the world who do not share your understanding of the world, and if they aren't honest or just don't truly understand the concept of honesty you would be wise to give it serious consideration before choosing them to be people you share your life with.

There is no amount of money, fame, or any fortune that is more valuable than having clarity in your life. That type of peace cannot be brought and has no work around or shortcut to get there, but it sounds like you already know who and where you are. If you do know those things, then I know you also know it is OK to desire the games your husband and his girlfriend seem to be playing, because there are some people who honestly enjoy that sort of thing. Personally, I can't stand it.