Oprah, Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, and the Obamas walked onto a boat. It isn’t the start to an advertisement for a cruise that many would be honored to throw money at. It’s simply an event that transpired in early April, per a Travel + Leisure report. But when it came to sharing tales from the high seas, at least one member of this boat summit is staying mum.

“I can’t talk about it, I can’t talk about it!” Winfrey told People on the red carpet for her new film The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. “What happens on the boat, stays on the boat.”

What happens on the boat, stays on the boat. What a blow, Oprah. The Obamas were on vacation with Richard Branson recently and he practically wrote a novel about their time together. There are, thankfully, some details available about the trip: they lunched on Vanilla Island and they dropped by Le Taha’a Island before heading on to Bora Bora. So they island hopped.

So what happened on the boat? Oprah’s signature margaritas almost definitely happened. A late-night game of hearts maybe happened (Michelle won, of course. Of course!). A Captain Phillips joke certainly happened. Power Point presentations for a four-pronged effort to save the world should have happened. A memoir and fiction reading likely happened. Between all the writing this group has produced of late, like Springsteen’s Born to Run and Hanks’s Uncommon Type, it must have. Maybe a dramatic reading of TheArt of the Deal __happened for comedy reasons.

Perhaps a workshop on the first drafts of the twin memoirs that the Obamas are writing happened (over the above noted signature margaritas). The two heads of the former First Family traveled to French Polynesia in the first place to complete their shared $65 million book deals, after all, and that’s a top-tier group for feedback.

It’s possible, too, that they’re on that luxury yacht called Rising Sun to get away from their public personas, to take a breather from holding up American chins up for awhile, which is all fine and fair. What happens on the boat, should certainly stay on the boat. But the minute Oprah or any of the other attendees would like to share vacation photos, just point to where to plug in the projector.

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Fifty percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The other 49 percent of marriages are not as strong as the Obama-Biden relationship.

Photo: Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Mini-golfing is a popular dating activity, as Obama and Biden discover here.

Photo: Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

It’s important to make your loved ones laugh.

Photo: Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Here, Obama and Biden are either exercising or realizing that they left the oven on.

Photo: Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

They’re not ashamed to show their love in front of a stadium full of people.

Photo: 2010 Getty Images

And this photo was only the beginning move of their special, five-minute-long secret handshake.

Photo: Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Don’t go! Please don’t go!

Photo: Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Fifty percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The other 49 percent of marriages are not as strong as the Obama-Biden relationship.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Mini-golfing is a popular dating activity, as Obama and Biden discover here.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

It’s important to make your loved ones laugh.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Here, Obama and Biden are either exercising or realizing that they left the oven on.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Very few people have double dates as public as when the Obamas and Bidens attend Democratic conventions.

From Digital Focus/Alamy.

The two practice their “dads watching their hyperactive children on the playground” poses.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Biden anxiously waits for Obama to play fetch.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Obama orders lunch while Biden wonders whether he should claim he forgot his wallet.

From AFP/Getty Images.

This tender, intimate gesture reminds one of senior prom.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Nobody puts Barack in the corner.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Biden anxiously waits for Obama to finish his call and look at that cool bird outside.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Obama and Biden stare into each other’s eyes, wishing that they had a milkshake to share.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

This is a metaphor of sorts.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Hugs for everyone.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Not only do they share meals together, they don’t even look at their phones while eating. Now that’s commitment.

From Getty Images.

Either they’re a) dressed to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, b) acting as groomsmen in a wedding, or c) accidentally dressed the same and are now impromptu twins. (The real answer is a, but c is frighteningly plausible.)

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Of course, every once in a while, couples get embarrassed by each other in public.

By Cheriss May/NurPhoto/Getty Images.

Taking a breather, and possibly gossiping about the audacity of those Republicans in the Senate.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

They even got matching armchairs!

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Friends don’t let friends grieve alone.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Look at them. I mean, just look at them.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

Even they know that no one has what they have.

Courtesy of The White House/By Pete Souza.

They’re not ashamed to show their love in front of a stadium full of people.

2010 Getty Images

And this photo was only the beginning move of their special, five-minute-long secret handshake.