Friday, February 10, 2012

My name is, What?

About my name. My full name is Jackson ****** Jean. (yeah you nosy little internet troll monkeys you’ll never know my goddamned middle name, if you even so much as ask I’ll be sure tie your shoelaces together while you’re sitting here commenting, so you know… you fall when you get up.) C’mon people keep up! Was that a fail? Yes I’d say so.

As I was saying. Ehm Ehm Ehm. . . My Name Is Jackson Jean but This girl I grew up with started calling me Jackie jean because it kinda sounds like Jackie chan. You see now? I’m sure you read my blog title (for all you millions of followers out there) and thought … “hmmmmm… that sounds familiar “ its because if you’ve ever liked 80’s ninja whatnot movies you’ve probably heard those wonderfully alliterative sounds. And no that was not a stab at their language that was a remark at Jackie Chans Prolific chinaman martial arts fighting movies. And if any of the above was incorrect please don't scold me. I’m not really that worldly of a man. The biggest city ive been to was Cleveland. I only go on family vacations to boring places so my immediate family can culture shock the hell out of me as they introduce me to distant relatives and the weird and wacky ways they all live. I usually just hide in the back of the station wagon. So...........

I kind of like my name. Jackson that is. Jackie is all right too, but no one calls me Jackie except for queenie, and even her calling me that irked the hell out of me until one horrifying day I actually felt comfortable with the name and without realizing it answered to her ostentatious calling down the hall. She likes to scream at me from random locations when I don’t have a clue where she is. Takes me forever to find her most of the time because she’ll be like miles away screamin and she won’t stop until she knows I see her. I know what most of you are thinking, you’d probably kill her if you were in my shoes, but I’ve known her literally since birth. Our moms are best friends and I just can’t seem to shake her. She’s just ALWAYS there. Her real name isn’t actually Queenie. That would be stupid. Horrible decision on her parent’s part if that were the case. No, I gave her that name sometime around the age of 10 or 11 or so when I got sick of her hollering out JACKIE! Her first name is actually Elizabeth. I called her Queen Elizabeth. then eventually queen and Queenie and occasionally Quinn. Her middle name heh heh, which I will post on here because it will bug the hell out of her, is Petra. It’s German ? right? She has a second middle name for her grandmother, and OBVIOUSLY a last name but I’m not posting it because I don’t need any angry calls from her father when 50 random people start creepin on her Facebook. She has one of those. I don’t. Because I suppose I think Facebook is evil and social networking in general is largely narcissistic. But look at where I am. What the hypocrite. But it’s not like anyone’s reading any way.