You are so money, honey!

It’s May, a month traditionally associated with humpin’ and bumpin’ and all kinds of naughtiness. So today we’re going to talk about sex. And I am going to tell you a secret.

Economics is the sexiest and most romantic of professions.

Consider, if you will, Russ Roberts, who has written an economic romance novel, The Invisible Heart; Pete Leeson, who (in a grand gesture that will have all other economists cursing him for decades to come as they try and fail to surpass the awesomeness) proposed to his girlfriend in the dedication of his book The Invisible Hook;Tyler Cowen, who has calculated the optimal number of times to say “I love you,” and whose book Discover Your Inner Economistpromises to teach you to use incentives to find love.

What difference betwixt the richest mine
And basest mould, but use? For both, not used,
Are of like worth. Then treasure is abused
When misers keep it; being put to loan,
In time it will return us two for one.

In other words, “Baby, don’t say no! Your beauty and chastity are only good if you let them circulate.”

That, my friends, is OLD SCHOOL.

How could anyone not want that kind of steamy romance? Ah…but how to get it? That is always the question. We can’t all be Marlowe, after all. Fortunately, I am here to help.

Now, I am already happily married to a guy who does civil engineering drafting and design for a living. That means that, in order to ensnare him, all I had to do was stun him into silence with my startlingly unexpected mastery of the relationships among sines, cosines, and tangents. It also means that I can offer my readers the following out of pure altruism. Someone’s got to use this stuff.

So, for all of you who may be seeking a smokin’ hot economist of your own, I present:

The Top Ten Lines for Hitting on an Economist

1. You’ve got the curves to supply my demand!

2. Let’s go to bed and try to disprove the law of diminishing marginal utility.

3. You’re my very favorite kind of moral hazard.

4. I have a feeling you really understand the “nature of the firm.”

5. Baby, I love you so much I’m willing to forgo my exit option.

6. Wanna talk about our private goods?

7. You’re an economist. I’m an economist. How about a little horizontal integration?

8. Now those are some tangible assets!

9. I’ll reveal my preferences if you will.

And the very best pick up line to catch your own economist, as well as the filthiest thing ever said in public by an economist (and I include various jokes I’ve heard at cocktail parties) is brought to us by the dynamic duo of Roberts and Papola, and comes straight from their new Hayek/Keynes rap video.