I'm 21 and a college student trying to live my life the right way. My mom left when I was 15 because she would rather get high then take care of her kids. There are two younger brothers and one sister, I am the oldest. The past 3 weeks have been hell. First I get a call from my sisters dad that she isn't doing well and that she overdosed and was revived in the back of an ambulance. a few days later I get another phone call that she is in jail, arrested for charges of fraud. a few days later my suspicions were confirmed that the uncle whom I had been living with was using and him and my aunt would be getting a divorce and my uncle would be leaving. Again a few days later I get another phone call that my 15 year old brother wrote on FB that he wanted to kill someone, whom was involved with my sisters addiction. Later that night I find out he is using pot daily running away and entered a gang. Mind you at the same time I was starting a new job and preparing for finals. I can't do this anymore. Last night I told my sister I had enough of her telling me how bad of a person i am and that I cant help her anymore. I not so much did that because of the way she treats me but more so because I use to be a fun outgoing enjoyable person, lately I'm mean over bearing bossy, controlling and needy. It's starting to effect my friendships which I can't lose. any advice would help...

Dear Student. I hear the concern in your voice. Each person is 100% responsible for their own actions. You told us about other people's actions. How are you? What are you doing? You are Never, ever responsible for somebody else. They have their own life to live. No need to rescue anybody. Focus on yourself and grow, thrive and make choices that get you stronger. You can never fix the dysfunction. Your life is worth living fully and with much joy. Make some friends who like you for who you are and dump the parasites in your life.

dear student, I grew up facing many similar problems, my prayer for you is peace. I know that dissaociating yourself from those you love and care about is like asking you to cut off an arm. however, if you begin to understand that the arm is diseased and that keeping it would only cause to become very ill or even threaten your life, your survival instinct would kick in. What's happening in your life is like my analogy, you need to save yourself. Maybe, sometime in the future they will sincerely want to save themselves, until that time, you must separate yourself from them. Unfortunately, no matter what you do, all that you want to do, anything that you try to do will be useless until they want, they do and they try. If you stay connected to them, they will pull you down to their level. I promise to pray for you, and for them. Even if you are not religious, recall any time when were scared; what did you say in your heart of hearts? Was it something like: Oh God, please help ... come to my rescue . Pray that prayer. God hears all prayers, call on him for his help and strength.