The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.14.13

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we finally get a day without Anthony Weiner doing anything creepy. Ah shit, scratch that. Well, we do still have this Abu Nazir blowjob face which I’m told just earned me tenure, the Shauna Sand profile pic that needs to legally be imprinted just above the signature line on every plastic surgery waiver, and Matthew Modine who’s apparently been The Amazing Jonathan this whole time and Jesus Christ, am I old. Did I really just reference a stand-up act I remember watching on Comedy Central when I was 13?

*thinks back to playing SEGA Channel* Hey, remember that funny shit Earthworm Jim would do if you just did nothing with the controller? #RELEVANT