This is kind of what I mean. Just sort of exasperation meets vulnerability and you just sort of say it out loud. And I don't feel silly doing it either, but maybe because when I'm at my lowest I can't find anything silly

My better half isn't religious but when she was in a bit of a crisis last year she offered some non-specific prayer promising to go to church if the problem was resolved. It was, and so out of a sense of superstition she decided she had to go one morning and make good on it. I went to because I'm a nice guy. It was a pretty church and not a terrible crowed, but the service was piss weak. We slipped out when it was time for everyone to shake hands, she was like 'fuck this, I've payed my dues'.

Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done

when my dad was really ill with peritonitis and had to have emergency surgery. I was freaking out and I said "please don't let him die" a few times in the car park of the hospital.

Fortunately, he didn't die.

But I felt really, really guilty for saying it when the surgeon that did the operation came down to talk to us. He very casually said "the operation was a success and your dad's comfortable. He's in ICU and you won't get much sense out of him, but go and say hi."

I thought to myself "why was I asking favours from a man made of gas who lives on a cloud with Princess Di when there was a dude elbow deep in my dad's bowels totally running things all along?"

The other thing I remember is that the surgeon wore those checkerboard skater shoes. It blew my mind that the guy who held my dad's life in his hands wore the same shoes as the kids I used to used to ask for ID when I was a barman in a rock club.