For his next trick, Mario Balotelli should round the goalkeeper, run the ball up to the goalline, kneel down and then nod it into the empty net. It would be worth it just to witness the response from Roberto Mancini, who was so enraged by Balotelli's rather ill-advised attempt to score with a backheel during Manchester City's pre-season friendly against LA Galaxy, he instantly replaced him with James Milner.

Edin Dzeko, who was up alongside Balotelli as he tried his harmless trick, threw his arms up in exasperation. On the touchline, Mancini remonstrated with his bench and then told Milner, the ultimate English tryer, to get ready to come on. The crowd whistled, Balotelli's number went up and as he trudged off, he argued with his manager. Once he sat down, he threw a water bottle on to the pitch, before being left to stew on yet another controversy in his short career.

When did football become so very pious and serious? Read Mancini's quotes and insomnia will never be a problem again. "In football you always need to be professional, always serious and in this moment he wasn't professional," said the Italian. Always professional, always serious, just like Mancini was when he scored this backheeled volley for Lazio against Parma. To paraphrase Bart Simpson, whatever happened to you Roberto? You used to be cool.

Of course, if Balotelli had scored – or if he'd done it on the halfway line – no one would be laying into him now. Everyone would be talking about how brilliant he is. The real crime was not that he tried it, but that it was the worst backheel since Djimi Traoré's spectacular own goal for Liverpool against Burnley in 2005. When children play football in the playground, no one sets out in a 4-5-1 formation, looking to grind out a turgid 0-0 draw. No one gets told off for a stepover, even if they mess it up. People watch and play football for these moments, not to see someone joylessly puff up and down the right flank for 90 minutes.

Indulge it, celebrate it, even laugh at it and call Balotelli an idiot. Clearly he is a troubled individual, as 11 yellow cards and two red cards in his debut season in England demonstrate, not to mention a training-ground fight with Jérôme Boateng, throwing at least one dart at youth players from a first-floor window and causing a mass brawl after City beat Manchester United in the FA Cup semi-final. Perhaps Mancini is trying to make the 20-year-old grow up fast and is showing zero-tolerance towards him, but it was only a pre-season friendly, not the last minute of the Champions League final.