On March 20, 2006, I arrived in Oakland to set myself up as an expert on Bay Area transportation. I’m still working on that, but I’ve learned a few things since then.

The first lesson, after living and working in the wilds of Central Maryland, remote Long Island and Southern California, was learning just what Bay Area commuters had to complain about.

I mean, this place has a mass transit system like no other west of the Mississippi, freeways that don’t back up at midnight and commuter trains that run after 7 p.m. Not to mention, its denizens make their homes in tight valleys that make perfect little transportation corridors, like, you know, the Livermore Valley.

7. If you support extending BART or any other railway, you hate the poor and downtrodden. If you support expanding bus service at the expense of rail service, you hate the environment and Thomas the Tank Engine. If you support expanding ferry service, you like salt air, bathrooms and mixed drinks and don’t worry too much about the poor and the environment.

9. If everyone cashed in their unused 15-cent BART cards, the Bay Area Rapid Transit system would go bankrupt.

10. If you lead a good life and you do good deeds, you will ride to Heaven on the Capitol Corridor (although you might spend a few hours in Purgatory waiting for freight traffic). If you run up bad karma all your life and don’t atone, you’ll spend eternity driving home on Friday afternoon I-580. But that could happen even if you’re good …

One Response to “10 things I learned in a year by the Bay”

“7. If you support extending BART or any other railway, you hate the poor and downtrodden. If you support expanding bus service at the expense of rail service, you hate the environment and Thomas the Tank Engine. If you support expanding ferry service, you like salt air, bathrooms and mixed drinks and don’t worry too much about the poor and the environment.”

As Vanya on Seinfeld would say, “This is gold, Jerry, gold!” Thanks for the laugh.