Cerebral Proclivity

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Delhi: Some memorable moments - I

Back from Delhi and missing every nanosecond of the sojourn. It was like a speedy whirlwind ride. Before we could come to our senses it was over and done with. It’s even more painful to come to office and work after that. This trip easily goes down in the record books as one of the best we ever had.

Murphy’s Law working overtime.

Raman not coming because of his work had already taken a toll on the overall mood. To add to it work was pouring in torrentially. The day started with me reaching office around 9.30 a.m. and that’s really, really early for me ‘cause I usually reach by around 10.30 am. As I mentioned in the previous post about the probability factor of work yeah it came true I got sucked into work as if it were a Bermuda triangle. Had a shoot and was assisting Dada, while he was directing. So arranging the shots, getting people etc etc. It was very tiring and to add to it a slight fever due to a massive bout of cold.

Sood the conman.

So we (as in Samir n me) reached Mumbai central by 4.15 pm only Jante (Sachin)was sitting there. Sood came and after that we came to know that the train is actually a Nizamuddin express leaving at 5.40 pm which Sood had never told us about. Cursed and thrashed him a bit then waited an hour for the train to come. So there we were Vikas, Samir, Sood , Jante ready to leave Mumbai n rock Delhi.

The train journey.

Our train journey was especially eventful and entertaining. Jante had got kanda poha from home, which we all had. Post which we began our spate of games. Since had recently seen Ray’s Aranyer Din Ratri a few days back I had the memory game in mind where the first participant says the name of a celebrity and the second guy repeats that name followed by his own addition so on and so forth. Although this game may sound very simple its damn tough to remember that many names in the perfect order. Me, Jante n Vikas couldn’t last long, infact Jante was out in the first round itself. Samir and Sood went on and ultimately Sood won. This game was followed by 10 questions wherein one guy keeps a celebrity in mind and the rest guess asking 10 questions which he answers in yes or a no. Jante’s both the names invited controversy – APJ Abdul Kalam and Amartya Sen.

“I am naar a paar off thees!”

The line of the journey was cracked by Sood in an oblivious moment. We were preparing to play dumb charades and the team was being decided. Me n Sam and Vicky, Sood n Jante. This appeared to be a fairly one sided team because compared to anybody else in the group Samir n me are complete pros when it comes to Hindi movies and acting them out. That’s the reason whenever its played we are kept in separate teams. So after hearing the team Sood who was lying down suddenly got up and remarked in his highly accented English, “I am naar a paar off thees!” (I am not a part of this!)It took us a moment for it to hit. But once it hit we burst out laughing. We were uncontrollable. In between the bouts of laughter we were repeating what he said, “I am naar a paar off thees!” “I am naar a paar off thees!”The line was fodder enough for us to take his case for the next some days. Apart from this we came to the conclusion that Sood also has an attention seeking disorder that compels him to do certain moronic things, which normal people refrain from. So we coined the word ASS for him A- Attention S- Seeking S- Syndrome. Since Sood was an ass anyways we officially gave him the title of an ASS.

Jante’s pedophilia and my obsession to prove a point.

Jante was having the hots for an 18-year-old girl in the next berth. Which led him to have his food in a gross way which according to him is sensuous and arousing (as in licking fingers and all) The reason behind him eating that way is his ever optimistic approach that incase if she sees him having his food that way and incase if she gets turned on by the sight then chances are that she may come up to him in the night and demand sex. Wow! So much so for optimism!

While parallely whenever I used go out of the compartment in the berth near the door there was this young chick looking aunty sitting with her husband and I was sure that she was looking at me. But the rest of the junta refused to believe it. So I took Jante and Samir one by one to prove it to them. But Samir ruled down my point again by saying that she looked at everybody who passed.

Army welcome

Reached Nizamuddin at around 11.30 am. We had Mr. Yadav waiting for us at the station with the placard ‘guests for manpreet singh’ written on it. Sat in the army gypsy to head towards the dholakuan army camp, where we were supposed to stay in an officer’s mess.Reached. Got ready within a record time of 20 minutes. Mehul also reached the place by that time.

Bharat Milap

All of us reached the venue together. There he was looking as handsome and suave as ever, the groom to be. Felt nice. It had been quite sometime that all of us were together. Met up with uncle n aunty. Had a sumptuous lunch n topped it with my favourite dessert – gulab jamun with vanilla ice cream.

Matargashti in the evening

Came back to our mess. I took it upon myself to search for a bat and ball so that all of us could play cricket outside. So Aagu n me went in search of that. After battling for around 45 minutes around the whole campus of the mess area we couldn’t manage to get our hands on a lone wooden stick forget a cricket bat. Came back to the room. Started our memory game again. This time around Mehul and Aagu lasted till the end and finally Aagu won. Played dumb charades too. It was getting dark. We were standing outside. The chill was beginning to make its presence felt. Suddenly out of the blue somebody suggested that we play ‘langdi’. I was reluctant in the beginning, as I wasn’t wearing my shoes but relented nonetheless. Boy! It was a reality check and how! By the second round all of us were panting and gasping for breath as if caught in a gas chamber. Thoroughly tired and ashamed of ourselves that a bunch of 25 year olds getting so tired so soon we decided to call it a day and get ready for the cocktail night.

Dressed to kill

So there we were 7 samurais dressed for the soiree in the night. Sood was highly miffed with me because I shouted at him for being late. Garg was supposed to join us by next day morning, followed by Pratik. And a pleasant surprise was Raman’s call. He said that he would be taking the next day evening flight to join us for the baraat. That was real good news. We decided to keep this as a surprise for Mumpy who wasn’t expecting him.

A night to remember.

Aha! A sight to see was the bar. From red wine to Teacher’s, you name it and it was there. The sight itself got me high. Dressed in our best all of us were flitting around the whole place, chatting with people, cracking jokes with drinks in our hands. We were introduced to all the relatives by Mumpy’s mom. The three Dollys – Dolly masi, Dolly chachi and Dolly Mami. As the music picked up we jumped on to the dance floor to show off our bambaiya dance. But the real highlight of the evening arrived when the dholwallahs came. As the dholwallah called each and every person of the family by singing, “Bari barsi khatan gaya si” all of us watched with rapt attention. This was the kind of a spectacle that you don’t get to see in Mumbai especially if you are a non-Punjabi like me. And then, the moment of truth arrived. The dholwallah called the friends and we duly came into the circle to do our bit. I started off on a high note while dancing and was dancing with all my vigor. Within no time I was the only one left in the circle with the dholwallah. Before I could relies what hit me, I heard my name being cheered and the dholwallah going hammer and tongs on the dhol. And then…then I danced…I danced as if there was no tomorrow. I danced as if my life depended on it. the only thing I could make out was that there was an audience in front of me and I need to do my bit without chickening out. I got reminded of the ‘born in the USA’ scene that I had given in Cage six years back. Just let myself go berserk. After my spectacle all my buddies came up and were like – man you were wild!!! Mumpy’s Mamaji went wild too. He first put a Rs.10 not in my mouth (To give to the dholwallah. For those who are not aware. In such cases the dancer gives the dholwallah money through his mouth which the dholwallah has to collect with his mouth. And ya, no smooching allowed!) Vikas has shot a video of it. Went to the mess after that and crashed.

PS. This was my 50th Post and what better post to have as a silver jubilee post. Hoping to post pics once Mehul uploads them.Part II shall follow in a couple of days.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Delhi Calling!!!

After a spate of cancellations and re bookings we finally seem to be getting ready to rock Delhi for the week end. Gosh!!High enthusiasm levels.Last minute additions in packing happening. We had met the other day to discuss about the gift n the wardrobe. These guys managed to completely freak me out when it came to choosing my apparals. They gave me a strict ultimatum that I should be buying a NEW trouser and NEW shoes and a NEW t shirt...else they wont show any sign of acknowledging my existance in the wedding party. I tried once to protest, but was duly put back into my place by the usual - below the belt maligning my profession line - " Yeh sab phate kapde aur chotte t shirt tumhari ad agency mein chal jaate hain dilli ki party mein nahi chalenge...waha chaukidaar tumhe andar ghusne hie nahi dega.Usse tujhe toh kuch fark nahi padega par hamari nak kat jayegi."

So dilligently went to shopping the next day.Which ended up burning a crater in the pocket. Now am not ina position to buy new clothes for the next few months.

On the other hand by right foot is fucken massive.And to add to my woes its bigger than my left foot. Yesterday got these sooper pair of shoes. They are slightly tight tho...as in theres no room for movement inside.Kalyani was against it but i was completely in love with the design so,i thought, might as well take a chance.But now altho my left foot is ok..my right foot has started aching...hope it doesnt turn worse.

24 more hours for us to reach Mumbai Central station. Maan I cant wait...

PS. Mystic Bard's Law of Probability: The probability of you getting a new time consuming, thought provoking, attention seeking assignment is the highest when you are going on leave the next day.

Friday, November 04, 2005

My Cronies

The following post has been long awaited.Infact its been delayed by almost a year.A complete photo profile of me n my buddies. Lets begin with Raman. You see him in the pic above looking like a dork while tryin to act smart.He is sweet (only at times) fun to be with(When he's not talkin!This is my blog you see so I am gonna make an ass of everybody)ok..no kiddin..he's my beedi partner and completely lovable.But at times he does get a bit irritating making people swallow things they don't necessarily want to swallow. Next in line is Sood.

He is the living example of God's irony. (Ok so he's gonna f#&k my happiness coz of this statement!)He is sweet but he's outspoken too. He's cultured but he can get really crass. But one point that makes him completely different from us is his level of sentimentality. He can get REALLY senti and HOW? But for me personally he's the ever dependable friend of mine. The above pic was given to him by us when he got the best employee award. Samir next. This maharashtrian delicacy of our group has girls eating outta his hands. A left branist most of the time. An Amitabh Bachchan fanatic. A non-veg freak. When both of us rattle of in Marathi the rest of our gang (A distinct Punjab domination) gets really peeved. He is my partner in drinks. Ever dependable and smiling. He was my first firend in the institute.

The guy sitting to the left is Sachin and the guy next to him is moi. Sorry for the bad light couldn’t get any other pic of his. Sachin – The quintessential CEO material. Ruthless, pragmatic and focused. Infact he can be a good politician too. Most of the times he knows where he is going. Charming and a tough negotiator, tends to get stubborn when cornered. He adds the element of street smartness to the group.Mehul is goofiness personified. Most of the times he is the butt of our jokes. Smart, genuine and practical. He can drive you nuts when he gets paranoid about something (which he often gets). Faced with a crisis he gets his phone chain out. When he is not having his ass kicked by us he likes to catch up with his girlfriend and fiancée Aarti.(But he ends up getting his ass kicked by her too!!)

So that’s us. I know I am gonna be receiving a lot of flak for such terse and defaming comments of mine.But to sum it - all of them are real gems. Infact Raman was expecting a complete post dedicated to each one of us.Hmmm…lemme think probably some other time dude…I know you will tell me that I have a lota time on my hands but..seriously itna bhi time nahi hai life mein…