She's Kissing You, But She Has A Boyfriend

let her take the lead

"The System" says: if she flirts with you, and you're interested, then keep closing no matter what tests she throws at you. Let her do her flitty butterfly, waxing and waning routine, but you, the man, remain consistent and steady as a steam locomotive, slowly but surely chugging up the hill. That's just what you did Dino. Good work!

All right, so obviously I wouldn't recommend that you take this thing with Samantha seriously. You've got the right spirit when you say that you're ready to shine the whole thing on. You're not attached. You're heart's not invested in any way and that's just how you should keep it in this situation.

But you can still have some fun here. Look at it this way: She's keeping you "on the side." Okay. So why not do the same thing with her? Don't take her out anywhere special. No dinners. No concerts. No dancing. She'll just be your Java Joint make-out buddy who you don't need to spend any more than six bucks on. To you Psych majors: all's fair in love and war.

take it down a notch

So keep the frequency rate down. Only see her every two or three weeks. If nothing progresses any further than it already has, just look at it this way: Fifteen minutes of kissing and cuddling with a pretty young woman for the cost of two cappuccinos ain't a bad trade off.

Keep in mind that if she's makin' out with you, then her relationship with her boyfriend has to be on the skids. He doesn't know it yet but he's a "dead man walkin'." Once her Interest Level [degree of love] in him sinks another ten points, he'll be getting the old heave ho.

Just let her do what she's going to do. Meanwhile, you're going to be hustling lots of other women. You're going to find some candidates who not only have high interest in you, but also don't have any boyfriends in the background.

You're not going to be one of those saps who get all emotionally invested in a woman who's unavailable, hoping and waiting for her to leave her boyfriend. Just think of Samantha as your little diversionary entertainment chick.

Let her call you. She most likely will. And when she does, have her meet you at a different coffeehouse. But no restaurants where you'd have to spend extra money on her.

When you're chatting with her, keep it light. Don't mention the boyfriend. Don't get into an analysis of the situation with her. Don't make her feel like you want anything from her. Do not pressure her in any way. And let her do all the touching until you get back to the parking lot for your fifteen minutes of delight.

Who knows, she just might see the light and let you know that she wants to take things further with you. But if that's going to happen, the initiative has to come from her. If it never does, who cares?