This blog is solely written to convey the many thoughts and feelings I, Alicia Marie, experience throughout my day to day life. Along the way, I hope to bring my readers something they can relate to. My purpose is to make people smile, and to cry (tears of joy, that is), and to make them feel like they're not alone in this world.

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Sunday, June 26, 2011

A heavy heart....

Today was difficult. I feel like my heart has been ripped into a million pieces. If you care to know why, continue reading.

Today was my (favorite) church pianist's last day. She's been playing at our church approximately 11 years, and I've been around her for the past two. I've grown to love her, and she is a VERY dear friend of mine. I basically held it together during the services, but as I told her goodbye in the parking lot tonight, tears began to flow down my cheeks. I knew this day was coming, but I couldn't keep from getting emotional. Not only has Pam been an amazing pianist to me during my days of leading worship, she has been an immense blessing to me. She always has the most positive things to say to me to build me up in faith. She's been there for me through my highs and lows, and I'm so appreciative of her. I know you're reading this, Pam, and I want you to know grateful and blessed I feel to have you in my life!

Life is changing for me. For Luke AND myself. Decisions are being made that will possibly change my future, and it's scary. I worry about what path this will lead us down. If there's anything I dislike more than vegetables, it's not knowing what my future holds! Stay tuned for the new update on our latest decision! You're gonna wanna sit down to read it!

I wrote a blog a week or so ago about feeling like there's something greater out there for me. I still feel this way. The only difference is that the feeling has intensified. I can't seem to shake off this feeling that I have. I go to bed thinking about it and what could happen. I wake up in the mornings thinking about it, too. It seems to be a part of me that goes every where I go, yet it's so far away from me. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is just yet, but I hope that I find out soon. I'm going crazy. Considering I'm the queen of Google (I Google everything!), I wish I could type in a few phrases, and it would tell me exactly what's going on with me and exactly what to do about it!

Well, before this post gets entirely depressing, I'd like to say how thankful I am that I'm blessed with such amazing, supportive, and loving friends! I'm blessed beyond all measure! As I've been reminded lately, "You're loved and cherished!"

About Me

I'm a 24 years old foster mom to three kiddos ages 3 and under. Not too long ago I felt that I knew what life was going to be like. I would have a full time job, 2 kids, a house, and two dogs. Like most things in life, we do not always get what we dream of, but I can say that I have been given more than I could ever imagine for myself. I'm here to share my experiences--the good, the bad, and the ugly--and in turn I hope to inspire you and bring hope to your life.