Post by Phil on Mar 18, 2006 23:42:40 GMT

Hi Jo!

I am a closet "smoker" as you know (if I can be classed as a smoker as I haven't had that many). I think I am in the closet as people wouldn't expect me to smoke and I'm just too shy to come out. Its also good to be in the closet or it may encourage me to start smoking regularly which isn't a good thing.

Post by robs on Mar 21, 2006 13:52:29 GMT

I guess you would call me a binge/closet smoker. I do it for two reasons. First, I just don't want to make it regular habit. I have 3 children all under the ages of 11 so it's a choice. I know if I smoked in the open I'd never control it and would end up smoking a pack or two a day. Second, I know my kids would be disappointed and I'm afraid of the influence it would have upon them. Oh, I guess there's maybe another reason....I think it's kind of exciting to have something you do on occasion...I mostly will do it when I got to bar and have drinks, but will also light one up in car on a drive too.

bernard
Is Contributing A lot To Smoking IssuesThe True North Social Smoker

Post by vinny on Apr 17, 2006 21:13:25 GMT

Hi - sure, initially, I was a closet smoker! Why? Simply because I knew I was considered to be too young to smoke. (I was approx. 10 YO when I started.) Eventually, of course, people found out, and I dealt with those situations as they happened. At some point, I decided that I enjoyed smoking too much to allow myself to be "controlled" by others who either did not smoke, or did not approve of my doing so. Now, after a very great many years, I still enjoy smoking, and have never been sorry I started.

Post by huberto on Jun 12, 2006 13:36:24 GMT

I've been a closet smoker for lots of years now. I first tried it when I was 14. I didn't like it at first, but tried again some months later, probably just for experiencing the thrill of doing something 'forbidden', and so on, until I realized I did start to like it. Since I was quite afraid of becoming addicted, I immediately quit experimenting with smoking at that point (IIRC I was 16 then). I did keep my 1 pack of cigarettes locked away somewhere. I completely forgot I even had them.

Then, 2 years later, I moved out to go live on my own, and while moving my things, I found that old pack of cigarettes hidden away somewhere. I couldn't very well throw it out at that moment, since my parents were helping me move, so I just left them in place, and they ended up in my new apartment. There they sat for about half a year, but then my girlfriend broke up with me, and while I was looking for something in my drawers, I came across the cigarettes again. Since I was in a weak state of mind at that moment, sobbing over the end of the relationship, I decided to smoke one. I enjoyed it. From then on, I'd smoke 1 or 2 cigarettes a week or so, always late at night before going to sleep.

At that moment I was living in a student dormitory, with only a small room to myself. If I'd gone and smoked more, people would find out, and I was horrified at the thought of my friends and/or parents finding out. My parents both used to smoke, and I had been bugging them about it for years on end, in that very nasty selfrighteous way that kids can have. My mom eventually quit because of my nagging and, as many ex-smokers, turned into an anti. I just couldn't face the prospect of telling her that I had taken up that very same nasty habit that I had bugged her about for years...

Of my friends, hardly anybody smoked either, and most were (and are) very opposed to it. I knew that if I were to come out of the closet and admit to enjoying smoking, I'd get into arguments with many of my friends, disappointing them (I'm your typical 'popular good guy' that nobody would ever expect to smoke), and I'd have to 'switch places' with my parents: from the moral highground to the bench of the accused. I'm sure everybody would accept it in the end, they just wouldn't like it. So while the 'telling friends and family'-bit is a reason for me to stay in the closet, I could overcome it if I wanted to.

But I don't want to. Why not?Well, no matter how much I've grown to enjoy smoking, I still hate the smell of stale smoke on my clothes (and curtains, furniture, etc.). Also, in my job, I spend time with a group of people for a few weeks, and then with another group, and then with another group, and so on. This has led me to shallowly get to know many, many different kinds of smokers over the years, and has made me acutely aware of the dangers of addiction and health decline. I have noticed myself truly pitying those very addicted people who get out of a plane almost screaming for a cigarette, after going without for only 2 hours or so, and then I catch myself thinking 'never, ever, do I want to be THAT addicted to ANYTHING'. Then there's the bad teeth and bad skin; people who've smoked regularly for about 5 years can still be as beautiful as the next person, but after 10 to 15 years of smoking, you really do start to notice the difference; smokers get uglier, faster.

As for missing out on the social aspect of smoking: when most of your friends smoke, smoking becomes a social thing. When none of your friends smoke, smoking becomes an antisocial thing. Of course, one can look for new, smoking, friends, but I don't see that as necessary. I have 2 friends who smoke, and who know I smoke. When I'm with one of them, we smoke together. That's nice, but I immediately notice myself smoking more than usual when that happens. The same thing goes for girlfriends; the times I had a smoking girlfriend, I smoked more as well, while the times I was with a girl who hated smoking, I'd just quit entirely while I was with her.

Over the past 9 years or so, I've gone months without smoking, then months smoking 3-5 per day, and sometimes short spells of 'freedom', when I'd have nobody I knew around to 'catch' me, smoking 10 or more per day. I'd guess that on average, over those 9 years, I've smoked an average of at least 1 cigarette per day, which makes for a total of at least some 3500 cigarettes smoked in my life. The strange thing is, that contrary to what I hear many smokers describe, I actually enjoy smoking quite a bit less when I smoke more. Those times when I had the freedom to smoke as much as I want, I noticed I lost the 'buzz' I usually get with each cigarette, the feeling of relaxation diminished, I got a very dry throat, no matter how much I'd drink, and oftentimes I'd get a headache as well. So basically, the positive effects of smoking became weaker, while the negative side effects became stronger.

Being a closet smoker means that I can only smoke when I'm alone or with one of the few people who know. Being a busy bee socially means that that doesn't happen very often, so that being a closet smoker limits my smoking in a natural way. As I said above, I've smoked at least some 3500 cigarettes in my life, but still it's quite easy for me not to smoke at all for some weeks if circumstances demand it. Not wanting anybody to find out is therefore my very effective protection against addiction. If I would come out of the closet, and effectively be able to smoke whenever I'd want to (within the limits that society places upon us, these days), I know I'd probably start smoking more. As a result, I'd get less enjoyment from each cigarette than I do now, increase my chances at truly getting addicted and at starting to notice negative health effects, and unless I'd place artificial new restrictions on myself, I'd have to live in an environment smelling of stale smoke. The same thing would be true if I'd have a smoking girlfriend, even if I'd still hide it from family and friends. Therefore, while I enjoy sharing a cigarette with my loved one, I'm currently with a non-smoker, and I prefer it that way. She knows I like to smoke once in a while, and she accepts that but she doesn't like it. That means that whenever I'm with her, I don't smoke at all, and I don't miss it either. Sometimes I do long for a girlfriend to share a cigarette with, and I do feel that if a girl smokes elegantly, it can add to her appearance, but I know what the consequences would be, and as I've explained above, I don't want to face those consequences.

In other words, and to conclude this rather long post (sorry about that...), being a closet smoker places the kind of restrictions on my smoking that I find desirable to combat the negative effects of smoking while still allowing me to enjoy it, and I'm not sure I'd be able to artificially put similar restrictions on myself if I'd come out of the closet. Having said that, I will be starting a new job in July, which requires me to move to a new city as well, where I don't know many people yet, so it will be interesting to see what will happen then.

Post by huberto on Jun 15, 2006 18:35:45 GMT

Smoking is generally regarded in society as being 'wrong', nowadays. Many smokers feel they constantly have to defend themselves against disapproving stares and comments, as Billd has mentioned. I know that most of my friends and family would not approve if they knew I'd smoke. In that sense, when I smoke, I know I'm doing something wrong, at least in the eyes of the majority of the people in my country, and the majority of my friends and family.However, I don't think that that's different for closet smokers and 'regular' smokers. The only difference is, I don't get the disapproving stares and remarks, because people don't know I smoke. However, smoking is something I enjoy, and I don't think that's wrong (as long as I don't bother others with it, which, as a closet smoker, I don't).

The only times I've felt I was doing something wrong by smoking were those times when I'd smoked too much, and then afterwards I'd be coughing, with a parch dry mouth and dry skin. Then I'd think 'It's wrong to do this to my body, I shouldn't'.

A similar counter-question for you: do you feel wrong in any way for taking up smoking again?