The Forbidden Lesbian Sex Act

Adult Content Warning (NSFW): Just a quick advisory for the kiddos: this article is meant for adult eyes only. And if you're at work, it's advisable to hold off on reading this until you get home. This article is 100-percent NSFW.

What if blowjobs were illegal?

Well, not "technically" illegal... not in the sense that the cops would arrest you for going down on your boyfriend. But what if the law prohibited showing fellatio on camera?

Now, I don't have a penis, but from what I hear, being on the receiving end of penile tonsil hockey feels pretty sexy/amazing. Many dudes go so far as to say that it's their favorite sex act -- way above putting their man-sticks into the front or the backside of lovers.

If you've watched any porn in your lifetime, you've seen a BJ (or 1,000). However, in the scenario that I am describing, filming and distributing movies depicting oral sex is totally banned. In fact, distributing videos showing the prohibited act could land you in jail on obscenity charges. Not the "Martha Stewart" kind of jail; I'm talking about being sentenced to do hard time.

Folks, I'd like to introduce you to the Forbidden Lesbian Sex Act: fisting.

Before you freak out, let me assure you that it is not like Mike Tyson's Punch Out happening to your lady parts.

When I asked my friend and fellow porn producer Courtney Trouble to explain it, she said, "It's simply four fingers and a thumb slipping into a vagina. It's slow, connected, loving sex."

Nothing scary about that, right?

For the record, I don't really like oral sex. I like giving, just not receiving. I remember when I shared this information with my office brothers at the law firm, they stared at me with blank confusion and said, "Wait, wait... so if you don't go down on each other, then how do you have sex?"

The bewilderment on people's faces when I explain the Forbidden Lesbian Sex Act probably comes from the utter lack of exposure to how lesbians actually have sex. In my first column I explained that one of the big reasons I started making porn was to create movies that accurately represent the kind of sex lesbians have, albeit presented very glamorously.

So, imagine how disappointed I was to learn that the very thing that drives me the most wild in bed should never be captured on camera. The source of my most powerful orgasms, my favorite kind of sex, is forbidden.

Why is it forbidden? 'Cause the Supreme Court says so. Well, to be clear, the high court won't actually define what is and isn't obscene, but it has given birth to a perplexing formula called the "Miller Test" to determine what can and cannot be banned. The good news is that we do have a First Amendment right to pornographic speech. Thanks Hefner! Thanks Larry Flynt! The not-so-good news is that the government is allowed uninhibited power to ban in all formats any material that is deemed obscene. I'm starting to sound like a lawyer, right? Sorry about that.

Lemme break it down for you. Conservative places filled with conservative people can make their own determinations about what is offensive and "over-the-line" enough to be considered obscene. The same principle applies in liberal places.

It's kind of like when you were a kid and your mom wouldn't let you eat Jell-O in the living room, but your friends' moms let your friends run wild. And then you'd come home to your mom and say, "But Laura's mom lets her do whatever she wants. Why can't I?!"

The obvious motherly reply to all such questions is... bingo, "Because I said so!"

Yeah, so I can't sell movies with hand sex in Utah, but who cares, right? Wrong. Herein lies the problem: I can't sell or distribute movies with this popular lesbian sex act at all. Nowhere in America, anyway.

I'm a bit of a chic renegade, so I still shoot the Forbidden Lesbian Sex Act when I film movies for Juicy Pink Box. I release the scenes online, and several of my other industry friends do the same.

However, the fear of obscenity prosecution over this issue is so strong that my contract with my DVD distributor, Girlfriends Films, specifically prohibits me from turning in projects that show the proscribed act. I don't blame them at all; nobody wants to go to jail.

The thing I find so strange is that there is a serious double standard when it comes to what is and isn't allowed distribution.

Why is it that double anal penetration, bukake and fart porn are OK to ship out all over the country? Upon viewing the Forbidden Lesbian Sex Act, I'd lay money on the fact that most people would find it far less offensive than a lot of what is sold on the shelves right now.

But people never get the chance to see full-hand sex, so the whole concept remains stigmatized and closeted. When normal, natural things are classified as "bad," they become tainted with shame. There is nothing shameful about slipping a thumb in. In fact, there is nothing shameful about any kind of consensual sex between adults, and yet, the fear about sexuality persists.

Queer porn superstar Jiz Lee gave me some important insight on the subject: "We learn about sex as only being penis-vagina intercourse. But sex is so much more! We don't learn much about sexual anatomy, how to communicate with lovers, or about pleasure."

My friends and I think it's time to penetrate the veil of secrecy. Jiz and Courtney have teamed up to create International Fisting Day on Friday, Oct. 21. A slew of industry people pledged to help and will release videos, photos and blog postings in support of the message.

We hope that with time we can all celebrate sex in its many facets and end the unfair censorship of this beautiful, normal part of lesbian lovemaking.

After all, fisting is every bit as deliciously enjoyable as any blowjob.