Pilot Arrested After Found Passed Out In Cockpit

Calgary police have arrested 37 year old Miroslav Gronych on suspicion of being drunk after allegedly being found unconscious in the cockpit of a Boeing 737.

“Capt. Miroslav Gronych was “behaving oddly before he became unconscious in the cockpit” on Saturday, Calgary police said. The plane, with 99 passengers and six crew members, was scheduled to fly to Regina before heading to Winnipeg and Cancun, Mexico.

Gronych, a 37-year-old Slovak national in Canada on a work visa, was charged with having control of an aircraft while impaired.

“Initial tests conducted by police indicate the pilot was severely impaired by alcohol,” police said in a statement.

Two hours after his arrest, the pilot’s blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit of .08, Calgary police spokesman Staff Sgt. Paul Stacey said, according to CNN partner CBC News.”

First things first. One, you just know that someone named Miroslav Gronych can fucking pound down alcohol. It’s like knowing a 300 pound dude named Bubba who makes a mean rack of ribs. Second, I can’t believe how soft this guy turned out to be. He had the chance to do what everyone secretly wants to do and passed out right before the big show. He’s like the person who started drinking at 8 on New Years Eve who passed out with their shoes on before the ball dropped. This guy had his chance to amaze and dazzle 30,000 feet in the air and blew it. Not to mention the flight was bound for Cancun which is where the captain ultimately belongs, he just couldn’t hold his shit together long enough to make it there. Luckily everyone was fine and the plane eventually took off after a slight delay (with a different pilot, obviously), although the people might not ever get the chance to experience the wildest ride of their lives ever again.