No. Seriously. But not really.

Bachelor cooking!

Have you ever heard the term ‘I like my coffee thick enough to stand a spoon in it’? Well, I literally like my coffee that thick. Although I cheat a little bit to get there. This is bachelor cooking at its besst. Of course, to begin with, you need a kitchen. or a bathroom…

Hot plate. Pan. Coffee.

You need an implement of destruction to prevent any sticking to the bottom. You’ll see why in a second.

While you’re heating up your coffee, add some hot cocoa mix to it.

About this much…

A good breakfast isn’t complete without cereal. Oatmeal in this case.

Pour it in. Keep pouring. Don’t follow the directions. Pour until there’s no more liquid for it to soak up. If you need, you can add a bit more coffee to it after you finish adding the oatmeal.

The finished product. I threw in a little bit of brown sugar off camera, but it’s not necessary. So help me, if you add milk to this, I will come to your house and personally revoke your man card. Please note the spoon (spork) standing up in this concoction.