Begin at the beginning, the king said gravely, and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

Friday, February 10, 2012

I'm Hearing Voices: Emotional Flash

I’d like to start out by thanking Cassie and Angie for hosting this. The I'm hearing voices blog hop has been so much fun. I’ve read so many awesome blogs in the past few days, and Wednesday was especially awesome. I had a bad day on Wednesday, but any time I found myself with a few minutes I would go to the hop and check out another blog, and they would make the day a little better.

So I again want to thank Cassie and Angie for hosting this, and without further ado I will present my final challenge. Hope you enjoy, and feel something:

* * *

"Do it" Fitzroy whispered.

A tear ran down Quinndalin’s face, simple, cold. She went to brush it away, her fingers touched the wetness. Confused. She had cried before, when the wind was harsh, or when the man had struck her, before Fitzroy. There was no reason for this tear.

She looked at the form lying on the bench. Leni’s eyes were closed, she looked asleep. Quinndalin knew better.

"Quinn?"

Quinndalin looked at Fitzroy. She loved him. It wasn't a question anymore. It wasn't a thought of longing, just a simple truth. Every fiber of her being felt an inexplicable desire to be with him.

Quinndalin knew what she was supposed to do. It was as easy as breathing. Easier than speaking. All she had to do was reach inside, to where the pain lay, the tingle of her magic, and focus it on Leni. She had done it before. When Fitzroy had brought her to this room.

They screamed. They screamed for days. Bodies arching in pain, as the magic ripped through them. Big men, strong, until they stopped screaming, then they stopped moving, not even to breath. One lasted three days, and she didn’t even get tired. But this was different.

Leni could look at Quinndalin and know exactly what she was feeling. Leni had put a word to it, a new word. Trust.

Quinndalin released the energy, pondering this new word, forgive, and Leni screamed.

* * *

I hope you felt something. Let me know if you didn't, or can think of anyway's to improve it. I always love some constructive criticism.

I really hope you enjoyed it. Quinn is very difficult to express emotion's in, she is somewhat sociopathic, in the fact that she doesn't feel emotions the way everyone else does. At the beginning of the novel she knew five words. No, yes, maybe, pain and please.

So I hope you enjoyed it, and thanks again for stopping over. Now, please go check out other blogs in the hop! Here is the link again LINK! (I hope I didn't shoot myself in the foot for going for subtle)

I read that four times trying to work it through -- because I REALLY want to know what's going on here. Is Quinn killing Leni? Raising her from the dead? Doing something else? This is like seeing a teaser for a great movie. I only just found your blog but I'll bookmark it and come here a lot. But seriously: is this from a book? Is this from a short story?

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? I'm going to be wondering all day. Awesome job. Topnotch. Phew. I'm exhausted. I'm going to read it again and then go try to figure out how I can get that effect with my own stuff. Nicely done. Way to make me jealous.

You know that feeling you get when you read something and your heart just feels like it exploded in your chest? Yeah, your piece was that powerful for me. I loved this and felt extremely connected to your characters even though I have no idea what is going on, I love the emotion in here.

Gah... creepy! Choosing between your best friend and a man...dang the best friend is supposed to win, especially when your man is evil. I really felt the agony that Quinn goes through choosing. I think I enjoyed this the best out of all your posts. :)

These lines: 'They screamed. They screamed for days. Bodies arching in pain, as the magic ripped through them. Big men, strong, until they stopped screaming, then they stopped moving, not even to breathe' are very powerful.

I really want to know what's happening here too - there was so much tension conveyed, and the emotion that came through to me was a mixture of resignation and despair - and a few others like love and sorrow as well. This is such an interesting character, I want to read more!

For being an excerpt, I really was able to feel the emotion. That's often hard to do when you just have a snippet of something, but this was really good. The line "There was no reason for this tear" packs a strong punch.

Insecure Writers Group

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Story:

I am 25 years old, and have been told more than once, that I have a story to tell, or that I should write a memoir. I am not sure if I belive it, but I do know that I have good days and bad days, and on bad days I have to share, and what could be better than sharing annonomously with the internet world. I am not doing this for sympothy and I am not doing this for money. I am doing this because, I have long lived with the knowledge, that maybe, just maybe, my story could help someone else, like me. Someone going through what I am/did, or contemplating making the mistakes I made, to let people out there know, you are not alone.