In the Kurt Vonnegut version of the biblical Genesis story, man politely asks God, "What is the purpose of all of this?" God's response is perhaps less than satisfactory; essentially, God replies, "You decide." God's response is not the part of the story I find most interesting, though. It's man's question, or rather according to this story, man's first assumption: that there is one purpose and it applies to everything.

Now, I like this idea. I like believing, underneath all the micro purposes, there exists one - one purpose that if comprehensively integrated would bring not universal peace but much, much more of it. I don't know this to be true, of course. And, I don't know what it is. I simply - or most days, incredibly not simply - have faith in it.

What I do know to be true, though, is how necessary the presence, stories, ideas, questions of others has been on the journey to finding the one….

We're spending the next two weeks in groups talking about community. Specifically, what kind of community is needed now in our society and how do we create it? We're going to be discussing "fitting in," common enemy intimacy, loneliness, social media and the trickiness of in-person community too, vulnerability and boundaries, empathy, forgiveness, and our inextricable human connection.

The below video, though focused on addiction, speaks so beautifully to our need for connection that I wanted to share it with you here. My favorite excerpt:

“Human beings have an innate need to bond and connect. When we are happy and healthy we will bond with the people around us. But when we can’t because we’re traumatized, isolated or beaten down by life, we will bond with something that gives us some sense of relief. It might be checking our smartphones constantly. It might be pornography. It might be gambling, etc. but we will bond with something because that is our human nature. The path out of unhealthy bonding is to form healthy bonds – to be connected to people who you want to be present with. Addiction is just one symptom of the crisis of disconnection that’s happening all around us. We all feel it....

For too long, we’ve talked only about individual recovery from addiction, but we need now to talk about social recovery. Because something has gone wrong with us as a group.... We are going to have to change the unnatural way we live and rediscover each other. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection.”

Life is hard and hard to figure out. It helps to give voice to this, to collectively belong to the questions and vulnerability, and to encourage one another in them. It helps – or more likely is absolutely necessary – to hear new narratives and perspectives in this questioning, “figuring out,” and living well.

This possible, "macro" reason for gathering is all about the benefits of community. And, clearly, not just any community; a community that truly helps holds certain values, engages in certain practices. Many of these are research-based, and we'll be discussing them in the coming weeks. But, this week, as we begin diving deeper into the topic of "Why Gather?," we're going to discuss Brene Brown's assertion that the kinds of communities for which we long are not possible without first belonging to one's self. She calls this "true belonging" - defined above - and this week we explore this idea for our own sake as well as the communities we long to create and sustain.

SCHEDULE & DESCRIPTION

The fall round begins the week of September 10th and ends the week of November 5th. It's 8 weeks with a one-week break at the halfway point (groups will not meet the week of October 8th). This round will include a community week in late October.

Why gather in spiritual groups like these? Why gather for spiritual or religious reasons on Sundays or Fridays or whenever? What is the point? Does it do anything for us? For the world? What do we, as humans, need now, at this specific time in history, from these spaces? Can they deliver?

Join WAYfinding this fall as we explore these questions. Each week will begin with a possible answer, falling under one of three “macro” reasons for gathering: We gather because it helps. We gather to h/Hear s/Something deep and true. We gather to b/Be s/Something deep and true. Authors (and, for many, spiritual guides) Sue Monk Kidd, Parker Palmer, Brene Brown and Shawn Achor, among others, will be our teachers.

As always with WAYfinding, you will be encouraged and led to question, challenge, wonder, discuss and dive deep into your own experience. If you’ve ever been simultaneously drawn to and resistant to spiritual or religious gatherings, this will be a great round for you, helping you discover what is true for you and resting easier in it.

COST

For those who can afford it, there is a cost with the WAYfinding experience. Each round we ask you make an investment in yourself of $50 - $150. It's a sliding scale; you pay what you can. And, if you can't pay, simply select our Scholarship Fund when signing up - that's all there is to it. Invest online here.

Or, you may become a sustaining member of WAYfinding by making a recurring donation of at least $30 per month. This option is not just an investment in yourself - all rounds are included - but in others. Your recurring donation (or quarterly/yearly, if you prefer) helps us sponsor new and existing participants, "get the word out," invest in public speakers and new programs, etc. You can learn more about our different investment levels here.

Hello. I hope I find you well and enjoying the last few weeks of summer. Rather than our usual blog on a wide range of spiritual topics, this week I want to share with you what’s coming up for WAYfinding.

I shared with many of you in the spring round that I believe the next best step for WAYfinding is to begin offering a Sunday gathering. The reasons for this are numerous and include practical, organizational reasons like groups not being logistically possible for some people and families. But, the biggest reason – the reason that propels me to risk this change and responsibility – is that I believe a Sunday gathering is what is needed now.

All day long stories and ways of being swirl around us. Stories and ways of being that are largely divisive and fearful. Stories and ways of being that are masterful at convincing us the source of our sense of s/Self is external. It’s a kind of twisted liturgy we (almost unavoidably) walk in.

WAYsundays – that’s what we’re calling it now – will be about creating an alternative liturgy for our lives, lifting up alternative stories and ways of being. Stories and ways rooted in inclusiveness and love. Liturgies capable of holding and expressing “what it means to live a life” with all its complexities and dichotomies, beauty and sorrow. Liturgies that bolster us in standing against injustice while also reminding us that those who stand in our way still belong to us. Stories and ways of being that recall what is deep and true and already within us.

Though they’ll certainly be reimagined, WAYsundays will use some Christian stories, rituals and rhythms of the year to ground our experience. We are all humans simply glimpsing the Infinite Mystery; all traditions share this fate; and Christianity is what I know, what I know well enough to criticize, what I still love – after it’s freed from the deadening filters of certitude, patriarchy and more – and what, let’s be honest, still needs freeing from these things.

As ever, WAYfinding, as expressed in WAYsundays, will be beyond the belief box. Just like in groups, though we’ll certainly explore what we believe, how we believe what we believe will be the focus; particularity is okay but it must not become an idol. Our gatherings will express the WAYfinding belief that openness amid diversity is key to growing in love. So, for example, every third Sunday our teacher will be an “outsider,” providing us with a different perspective and a more complete hearing of the divine v/Voice. We also won’t meet the last Sunday of the month, leaving it open for other c/Connective practices and people.

Also, as ever with WAYfinding, WAYsundays will be an experiment. We’ll have to live into it to fully know its shape and purpose. I hope you’ll risk it and stay open and curious with me – whether by simply “checking it out” once it comes to be or by helping shape it into being. If the latter is of interest to you or if you have questions, please email me. I want to hear from you, and there is something for everyone to do. We will be getting started no later than January, with at least one gathering in December (if not starting then outright).

Finally, resuming with the Fall 2018 Round, groups will continue to be the important c/Connective spaces they’ve always been for thoughtful theological, social and personal reflection and growth. The fall round will begin the week of September 10th, go for 8 weeks, with a one-week break at the halfway point. This round will include a community week in mid-October. Our topic is “Why Gather?” Why gather in spiritual groups like these? Why gather for spiritual reasons on Sundays or Fridays or whenever? Why gather at all? What is the point and purpose? What does it do for us? Each week will begin with a possible answer, and groups will be lead and encouraged – individually and together – to wonder, challenge, and explore. If you’ve ever, like me, been simultaneously drawn to and resistant to spiritual or religious gatherings, this will be a great round for you, helping you to discover what is true for you and resting easier in it. (I will be pulling together facilitators (which determine group days and times) and locations in the coming few weeks. If you are willing to co-facilitate and/or host, please let me know.)

Thank you. Thank you for reading this long letter. Thank you for being on this WAYfinding journey with me thus far. Thank you for continuing it with me, or on your own or with others; we simply need more people willing to explore the big questions with openness and curiosity, vulnerability and courage, more people willing to dig deep and learn to love better today than you, than I, than we did yesterday. However you’re doing this, I am grateful.

Note from Anne: Hello WAYfinding community! I am back to work and looking forward to all that is in store for WAYfinding this fall. Stay tuned for some exciting announcements in the coming weeks, including details about our Fall 2018 Round - which will begin in mid-September.

Many of you have jumped back into "fall" routines or are easing your way into such space. I am too. One truth I became acutely aware of over the past month is life does not stop so I can make new (healthier) habits. While each seasonal beginning brings an opportunity to reflect, edit and add, new ways of being necessarily take shape in the midst of the mess of it all. So, as I encourage myself in this truth, I encourage you too.

What edit, add, shift would help you to live more fully and compassionately this fall? And, how can you help yourself accept that its implementation will be irregular, imperfect because, well, you're a human living a human life?

"Inch by inch... and do it again... one day you'll see... you set yourself free." - India Arie

Up until 15 years ago, my food choices were haphazard at best. If I wanted McDs, I would stop at a drive through, order a “Number 2” and get blue Powerade as the healthier option. What I ate very much depended on what I was craving at the time. I trusted that the food on the grocery store shelves was nourishing or they wouldn’t put it there, right?

It wasn’t until about 8 years ago that I had to seriously examine my food choices and relationship with food. Looking back, I actually started feeling ill about 12-13 years ago. It started with a weird skin thing that was supposedly harmless. Then I started feeling tired and moody a lot; I figured this was normal for a working mom with a toddler. As the years passed, my fatigue got worse. I developed anxiety, insomnia, and battled a myriad of infections and illnesses. I remember one night, waking up, thinking I cannot survive like this. Doctors ran tests and said I was a little inflamed but other than that, nothing seemed wrong with me. After scouring the internet and self diagnosing, I realized I needed to seriously reconsider and shift how I was eating...

Just as with loved ones, our relationship with food can be complex. Sometimes we experience love, joy, and comfort at mealtime. Other times, we experience anxiety, guilt, and shame. Most of us experience a range of these emotions at one time or another. If our relationship with a loved one ever becomes unhealthy or destructive, we have the choice to end the relationship or try to heal it. Because we depend on food for survival, we are not afforded the option to “break up” with it. Therefore, when the relationship becomes unhealthy or toxic we have two choices: continue on as usual or we can work to heal it.

My journey with food and health led me to become a health coach. I could not believe the impact my food choices had on my health, and I wanted to share this knowledge with others. As I started looking into ways to heal our relationship with food, two terms kept popping up: mindful eating and intuitive eating. At first, I thought they were the same; but, after digging deeper, I came to understand they compliment each other but have some important differences. Both are great ways to become more in tune with your body’s nutritional needs, aware of the influencing factors around your food choices and your emotional connection to food.

The practice of mindful eating is about being fully present at mealtime. In today’s society, we pride ourselves on multitasking. If we can accomplish 2-3 things at one time, why wouldn’t we? This can have a major impact on our digestion. Our body functions in two opposing states: “rest and digest” or “fight or flight”. Back in the day, if a saber tooth tiger was chasing us, it would stimulate our fight-or-flight mode and certain mechanisms in the body would either speed up or slow down. During this process, digestion was turned off so we could use that energy to fight or flee. Now, instead of the saber tooth tiger chasing us, we have a full inbox, a project deadline or we might be juggling multiple carpool destinations. When we try to eat amidst these stressful experiences, our body is unable to break down food to absorb the nutrients.

Mindful eating teaches us to slow down and become more aware of our external and internal environments, without judgement, at mealtime. It is about turning off technology and using all five senses to experience food. We may reflect on the origin of the food and feel gratitude for the people, plants and animals involved in the process to get the food on our plate. If you were involved in WAYfinding a few years ago, you may remember doing a mindful eating exercise with an orange. We observed the orange, we enjoyed the fragrance as we peeled it, we ate it one segment at a time and chewed thoroughly, savoring the experience. When we slow down the process of eating, our bodies are able to secrete more enzymes to more readily digest whatever we are eating. Simply slowing down and intentionally chewing can be so beneficial.

Intuitive eating has a slightly different goal. With intuitive eating we are recognizing and honoring our body’s cues. It is abandoning the diet mentality. Intuitive eating is about exploration with food versus following a set of rules. When I think about intuitive eating, I think about my dog. I notice she is adamant about having food in her bowl by 8:30 am but once its there, she nibbles on it throughout the day. In the summer she eats less, in the winter she eats more. If she is sick she doesn’t eat very much. We were born intuitive eaters but then, very quickly, we are taught to eat on a schedule and eat a certain amount (2oz bottles every 4 hours). Now that we are older, we are bombarded with fad diets and foods created by scientists in a lab. Depending on the decade, certain foods were demonized - fats, carbs, etc. Can you think of some ways your approach to eating may have been shaped by these trends?

Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with food. Is your approach to eating working for you? Could practicing mindful eating or intuitive eating help you bring more joy to your dining experience? Every person’s journey with food is completely unique. Healing our relationship with food requires an abundance of patience, grace and forgiveness. Start slow and take it meal by meal.

After traversing the country from west coast to east, Ashley met her husband in Chicago and settled in Indianapolis in 2008 to raise their two children. Ashley grew up in a household where only the occasional Sunday was spent at the nondenominational church nearby. It was after taking a world religions course at UC Santa Cruz that a new curiosity for spirituality and faith was sparked. WAYfinding has been a place where Ashley can openly discuss her questions, while learning ways to introduce her children to the fascinating exploration of faith. Ashley is a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition and co-owner of Stepping Stone Health in Indianapolis. In her free time, Ashley enjoys practicing yoga and spending time outdoors with her family.

Young children live for joy and wonder.It’s what they do.It’s who they are.Our role is to provide them with experiences and things that are worthy of their wonder.

Those insights provided the foundation for a recent intensive training on how the Montessori Method can be applied to children’s spiritual formation.*

Throughout the training, I was surprised to find myself moved to tears and having new insights about stories and symbols I thought I already understood. After all, I have two masters’ degrees in theological fields and have been serving as a Lutheran pastor for almost 9 years; the presentations from which I was learning so much were meant for 3-to-6-year-olds! It was truly humbling and awe-inspiring.

One of the key assumptions of the whole approach is that children are hard-wired with a desire to connect with something greater than themselves; in other words, that all children have an innate spiritual longing that seeks fulfillment, just as they have innate drives for other types of learning according to the more traditional Montessori Method.

The role of the adults – whether teachers or parents – in the process is to introduce the child to that greater t/Thing and then allow joy and wonder to take it from there. My favorite metaphor for the process was that it’s like setting up a blind date: you introduce the two parties, but you don’t go on the date!

Because the approach comes out of the Catholic church and thus is Christian, a lot of the details involve introducing the child to key stories from the Bible in such a way that allows them to get “hands on” with it by moving around simple yet gorgeous figurines while the story is read, and then pondering very general questions such as: “I wonder how the sheep felt?” Or, “I wonder who this God might be?”

The goal is not to get the child to come to a particular “right” answer, as is so often the case in more traditional approaches to religious education, but to genuinely spark their sense of curiosity and wonder. The adult is not to affirm nor correct anything the child might say; instead, s/he is to wonder right alongside the child. Then, whatever insights or answers the child might find are truly their own, making the insights both held more deeply but also more flexible and open to the child’s continuing process of growing, questioning, and learning. It’s about exploration, not indoctrination.

I wonder how different many people’s experiences with church might have been had they been invited into such a beautiful process of wondering from the start, and if that wondering had been encouraged as they grew older and their questions became more sophisticated and more challenging. The training was meant to equip people to work with 3-to-6-year-olds, but so much of it could apply to anyone and everyone; I believe that all people have an innate longing to connect with something greater than themselves, regardless of how they might conceive of that t/Thing or what name – if any – they might give i/It.

I wonder how we can continue to cultivate that sense of joy and wonder … in ourselves, with one another, and most especially with the children in our lives?

*The training Carolyn attended is Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.

Carolyn has served as a Lutheran (ELCA) pastor for more than 8 years but is currently transitioning out of that role and into some new ones. She has an MDiv from Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary and an MA in Ethics and Social Theory from the Graduate Theological Union, both in Berkeley, CA; right now she loves learning about joy and wonder (and mindfulness) from her almost 2-year-old son, Xavier.

For at least 6 months now, maybe longer, I have received this message every time I open my computer: “Your startup disk is full. You need to make more space available on your startup disk by deleting files.” So naturally, I simply moved a few things around, deleted just enough files, to keep working.

I didn’t get it.

Even after sensing I needed and taking a “break” in January, I kept pushing. I used that time to get caught up on administrative “to-do’s”. Physically, I continued plowing through cold after cold, knowing my body was trying to tell me something but ultimately ignoring it.

Then, about two months ago, I opened my computer and got this message: “Your hard drive is full.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a good cry. I could feel it deep in my bones. I am creatively, spiritually, even emotionally, spent.

So, I am taking some time. July 2nd – August 6th to be exact.

The black feminist activist Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

I plan to learn from Ms. Lorde over the coming weeks. I am not a person of color, so I will never have that significant daily “battle” with which to contend. But, I am a woman, a wife and a mother… and in our culture, these roles are expected to, I was socialized to, give and give (for no pay, of course). Add onto this identity, minister, and I have felt myself, I have let myself, be slowly washed away.

So, I am leaning into holding these roles in new ways in my life… using my privilege to shine light on the truth and carve new ways forward for myself and others. I am doing this for me… because I love myself… and for my girls, my husband, my family and friends, WAYfinding, and all those who could use another sustained voice for justice, mental health, boundaries, joy and equality.

Here’s to the next leg of the journey. May we all continue to find our way.

In this Sunday's blog, an original song by WAYfinder Leslie Dyar. Leslie has been involved in WAYfinding since 2012. After 17 years as Director of an early childhood program in Indianapolis, her spiritual journey led her to the healing arts. She now practices reflexology, among other healing modalities. Leslie enjoys spending time with her family (especially her grandchildren), songwriting, hiking and living the simple life in a cabin in the woods of Brown County. She believes faith is a living, changing entity that should be continuously examined and questioned. WAYfinding helps her do this!

The song she shares with us here was inspired by the winter and spring rounds.

WAYfinder Ashley Parsons says, "We so often ask our kids to do things we ourselves do not do." This is so true. Much more often, we need to "dive in" and do those things we're asking alongside our kids. Or, if we don't have kids, simply be "kid-like" and do them ourselves.

So, this week, I offer you a recent email I sent to our WAYkids' parents. The words and practices offered are not just for the kids among us; they're for all of us.

Hello! Summer is (nearly) upon us, and with it, an opportunity to slow down and connect - both lowercase “c” and uppercase “C.” Though WAYkids will largely be on break this summer, I want to take this opportunity to offer you a few ideas for continuing your family’s WAYkids’ journey.

Many of you participated in Sunday’s White Pines Wilderness Academy event. What a cool place! So much of what we heard and experienced had a spiritual component, so simply to add to that…

We began this year reading the book What Is God? by Etan Boritzer. The book begins, "What is God? You are asking a very, very big question!” So true. When I talk to kids about God, I like to acknowledge this fact: “What is God is such a big question that all people - both living today and those who lived long ago - have tried to answer this question and come up with lots of different answers.” I continue by explaining, “I too am trying to answer this question for myself. And, you can answer this question for yourself too. But, you’ll have to be very curious and open, explore, investigate and ask loads of questions. You’ll need to ask ‘What is God?’ in big spaces, like crowds and the whole forest. And, you’ll need to get very small and ask “What is God?” between just two people in the crowd - like you and your mom/dad - and the tiny ant marching along the forest floor. Because God is in all of it."

Because of this, I think nature is a natural and beautiful space for kids to experience and wonder about God. Many of us probably feel this way as adults too. I know I do. So, I want to offer a nature practice and meditation for your summer wanderings…

1. Sensory Nature Walk: Dr. Mark Germine said, "Our ability to cognitively abstract our contact with the world constantly takes our sensory experience and hides it under a veil of thought. The resulting loss of connection is, I think, the greatest ill that plagues humankind. It is the cause of many problems in the individual and in society.” The kind of slow and intentional presence a sensory nature walk requires of us helps us get out of our heads so we can experience and c/Connect directly. Our kids are usually naturally better at this than we are, but we still need to nurture this c/Connection. Use the attached Sensory Nature Scavenger Hunt with your kids to c/Connect this summer.

2. First and foremost, it’s important to just Be in the above experience with yourself and your kids. That is enough. But, if it intuitively feels right, you may want to ask your child(ren) at various points in your walk, “If this moment right now is God or tells us about God, what is God do you think? What does God feel like to you?”

3. Adapted from What Is God? by Etan Boritzer

"What Is g/God?" Meditation

If you want feel g/God, close your eyes, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out. Think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything.

Try to feel how you are connected to your Mom or Dad. Try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, cousins, even your friends.

And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family. And how all the families of the world (even those we can't see or touch) are really a part of you and your family.

Now try and feel how all the families of the world include more than just human families: there are animal families and plant families, this forest is a family. We call this kind of family an ecosystem. Try and feel how these families are really a part of you and your family too.

If you can start to feel g/God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the whole answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"

Take a deep breath in and out and slowly open your eyes.

I hope these practices prove to be c/Connective for you and your child(ren) this summer! Stay tuned for a service opportunity at some point as well. And, thank you for participating in another year of WAYkids!

Thank you to everyone who participated in the spring round with us, or any round this year, or WAYkids. Your unique voice is essential to what we're creating. Thank you!

WAYfinding takes the summers off from groups. However, you'll still be hearing from us through the writings of fellow WAYfinders. Every week or two, a new post will be shared through the newsletter. Giving voice to a diversity of perspectives is a core value of WAYfinding's. Our summer community blog posts are one of the ways we practice this value.

We look forward to gathering again in September!

| Jon Cracraft |

A major problem in the world is the dilemma of moral authoritarianism vs. moral relativism, or religious fundamentalism vs. religious relativism, or ethnocentrism vs cultural relativism, or what is it OK to be tolerant of and what is it not OK to be tolerant of and why, or when does it become OK to judge the behavior of different groups of people?

Was Andrew Jackson morally better than Adolf Hitler? Was Thomas Jefferson morally better than Joseph Stalin? How could anyone claim to make such moral judgements?

And yet, how can we refuse to make such moral judgements?

We should not tolerate sex trafficking or sweat shop labor or hate crimes or murder or robbery.

But should we tolerate vandalism? Should we tolerate public nudity? Should we tolerate political corruption? Should we tolerate sexist jokes? If we are going to allow ourselves to judge others, how do we know where to stop?

Is there an objective way to answer such questions? Is there a moral compass inside of us that tells us where to draw the line?

This is the dilemma of moral authoritarianism vs. moral relativism.

If there is a moral compass inside of us, it seems it is easily masked or broken by our own cultural bias.

How do we see our own bias? How do we remove it?

I don’t know.

But I’ve been thinking about these questions in the context of another question I’ve had about orphans and heroes and why so many heroes are orphans in folklore from around the world.

Perhaps people around the world tell stories about orphan heroes because they believe that orphans are more likely to accept heroic quests – because they have nothing holding them back, nothing to give up, nothing to lose. They also have no culture of their own – parents are universally recognized as the primary transmitters of culture to their children. Without cultural indoctrination from their parents, orphan heroes have no cultural bias – hence they have nothing to obscure or break their moral compass which is, in part, what helps them to succeed on their heroic quests.

So if we want to learn to see our cultural bias and to remove it, perhaps we can learn from the heroic orphans of folklore. Perhaps that which prevents us from seeing our own bias is the comfort of the home and our families and our fear of losing these things. Perhaps this is also what prevents us from taking leaps of faith, from embarking upon heroic quests and from following our dreams.

Maybe. Or maybe not. :)

Jon has often felt caught searching for compromises between opposing forces and identities: mainstream vs counter-culture; materialism vs anti-materialism; commerciality vs spirituality; establishment vs revolution. After dropping out of graduate school, he wandered, lived on communes - eventually becoming a teacher at an alternative school. Upon moving back to Indianapolis, he was unexpectedly offered a management position by the regional agency for MassMutual, where he eventually became the director of financial planning. He is currently the director of client services for a local wealth management firm, C.H. Douglas & Gray. He lives with his wife and young daughter and son.

My dad and I have a number of things in common: love of sweets, lack of patience, perfectionism, an entrepreneurial spirit, a good heart, and a love of romantic comedies. Yes, you read the last one right. I’d often find him laughing at Hanks and Ryan, or Roberts and Grant, while reviewing medical charts or organizing drawers.

One of our family favorites is Love Actually. For a romantic comedy, it deals with some difficult human realities: death, betrayal, loneliness, boundaries. It’s also a lot of fun; think Hugh Grant dancing to The Pointer Sisters’ “Jump.” One of my favorite scenes is the last one. In it, Grant speaks these words to images of people embracing…

We’ve given idols a “bad rap” this round. But, they spring out of a natural and lovely human longing: to want to be whole and complete and satisfied. The issue is believing this can come from a thing – whether that “thing” is money, a particular definition of “success,” a particular set of beliefs, health, a certain kind of relationship, a certain party in office, a consistent meditation or yoga practice, and the list goes on. (Again, it’s not the thing itself; any of these things can be icons too – helping us make meaning, helping us experience the sacredness of life.) The issue is engaging with that “thing” – whatever It is for you, for me – as the “whole-maker,” as the thing that will “make it all better.”

Few of us can swallow the religion of our childhood whole and believe it. We change, the world changes, and so we need our faith to change too. Old beliefs and patterns now feel untrue. So, we let go. Some of us rip the bandaid off; sure, the skin is red and irritated, the sticky remnants annoying, but we're happy for a "clean" break. Others of us take our time, maybe because the process is painful or maybe because we never had any intention of letting go completely - some beliefs, rituals, disciplines still feel true to us.

Either way, we were right to let go of what we did. Jewish theologian Abraham Joshua Heschel said, "Things, when magnified, are forgeries of happiness." For those of us who let go, this is what those things of the church, synagogue, mosque, secular-but-no-less-ritualized-home, etc. had become: forgeries, idols. This is okay. It's our truth.

It is also truth, though, that the things in and of themselves were never the problem...

Mine has been a checkered history with prayer. I imagine most of us would say the same. As my understandings of God changed, the ways I prayed made less and less sense. So I stopped praying those ways; I felt both relief and grief. I found my way to new forms of prayer – some did not call them prayers at all. I stopped caring what they called them.

But, lately, I have wanted to pray in old ways again. I find myself wanting to lament and petition and intercede and thank, as well as what I have learned to do so much better: listen, be silent and still, receptive. I am struggling with this a little (mostly, why these prayers again, when I don’t believe in a Super Being God on the other end) but only a little, for I think I understand why. ...

I am not the poster child for simple living. I don’t live in a tiny house in the woods off the grid. I don’t raise livestock, darn socks or knit. I enjoy eating out, and many nights, thank g/God for TV dinners. We own two cars and more stuff than we need.

This does not mean I don’t strive to live simpler. Over a span of 15 years, I have made significant changes in the way I live and interact with “stuff.” I started off making these changes out of concern for my fellow humans and our planet. I keep making changes also because I've found peace in doing so....

Invitation is tough. It involves risk, courage, vulnerability… Will they like my idea? Will he say, “Yes”? Does she value my friendship like I value hers? Will she show up? Gladly? Lovingly? Will I sound like an idiot? Will they care as much as I do? No, but will he show up anyway?

Sometimes, for fear of what we may hear, we're not even sure we want these questions answered. Past experiences, current insecurities, ignorance, all make us wary of extending that invitation, of extending ourselves. It’s far easier and much safer simply not to ask.

For all we risk in invitation, though, the alternative is actually far riskier....

Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. As I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between former President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.

As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us. In particular, pay attention to what both articles say about how to stop demonizing the o/Other in your life so there's space for a new story to emerge.

Many of you are already taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, you're welcome anytime. We're at the halfway point, and you'd be welcome to jump in (at half the cost) for the last 4 weeks to see what you think. Sign-up for the group of your choice here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so for you this week.

A friend this week wrote a beautiful reflection on social media on how being a mother had changed her. She spoke of learning to “dig deep when I think I have nothing left to give… and I find depths and resources I never knew I had.” She also spoke of fierceness, appreciating the moment, and “the art of going with the flow.” Then she asked other mamas to chime in.

Others did. I did too and wrote, “Watching my daughters’ emotions change so rapidly has made me aware of, in a deeper way, the fluid nature of my own emotions. That they aren’t always representative of the truth… that they just are. Notice them, accept them, move on.”