Love and Logic Parents not Micro-managers

24122011

“The more a child’s life is micro-managed, the more susceptible he/she becomes to peer pressure.”

Some parents actually train their kids to listen to peer pressure. The process is simply a matter of teaching kids to listen to a voice outside their own heads during the early years when their brains are still operating in a very concrete way.

Granted, there are times when we must take charge and tell kids exactly what to do and when to do it. However, when this becomes a pattern it gradually convinces children that the most important voice is the one that comes from others.

Many parent lock in this belief by responding to bad decisions with, “See you should have listened to me.”

Once their brain starts to develop abstract thinking, kids say, I’m growing up. I can think for myself.” Sadly their brain has been trained to listen to the outside voice, and I bet you’ve already guessed where that voice is going to come from: their peers.

(Ben Carson in a commencement speech said..“But, when I got to high school, I ran into the worst thing a young person can run into. It’s called peers, negative peers. P-E-E-R-S. That stands for People who Encourage Errors, Rudeness and Stupidity.”)

So when you hear a parent say that their kid has changed now that he is a teen, you can think, “Maybe not. He just listens to a different voice now.”