Iread in a book that men on average take less then 4 minutes to reach an orgasm while women on average take around 20 minutes... If reincarnation is real, I am coming back as a man! ha-ha

The mind plays a major part in achieving female orgasm. I have heard of women who can think themselves into orgasm. WOW...this is an amazing tool that we all need to be tapping into. The question is, How do we get our mind to work with us instead of against us?

Woman are great at multi tasking. We are made this way so we can do the laundry, while cooking dinner, while feeding the baby and getting the other kids in the bath. This multi tasking ability is a gift. With all gifts there are a few down falls. Multi tasking while we are having sex is not a gift it assures one thing will happen and that is we will not be present during sex. We get to learn that sex is one place where the brain has to be focused. We want to focus on enjoying ourselves and our partner as well as having an orgasm. The bedroom is no place for a TO DO list. I am not saying that orgasm has to always be the outcome. I have found that when I take the pressure off myself and just enjoy the rawness and passion of sex then I am extremely content no matter what the end result is. My mind has to be present. I am unable to really enjoy the connection that my husband and I are sharing if I am thinking " I forgot to pay the mortgage or I can't forget to schedule the kids dentist appointments in the morning". If my mind is wondering and I am not fully engaged then my husband and I are not connecting in the most intimate of ways. Our minds can make sex seem superficial or our minds can make sex perfect, passionate and playful. We get to find a few effective ways in allowing our minds to focus on purposeful pleasure. Here are a few ways in allowing your mind to focus. One way is to always keep a list of items you will get accomplished on that certain day. Label them in order of importance so even if you do not get them all done you at least got the most important ones completed. Another way is after you get the kids in bed take a short bubble bath with the intent to connect with your sexual power. Notice your beautiful legs and your curvy sexy body. Breathe deep and visualize you and your man having intense fun. Also we have all heard that affirmations are super powerful in our life. Start using affirmations regarding your sex life. State things like.... I love having sex, I love pleasing my spouse, I am secure with my naked body, I achieve orgasm easily and love it, my mind is a sexual tool, and there are so many more you can come up with. As women we get to make sure that we are aware of our mental state when we are being intimate. Sex is required for a feeling of wholeness in our marriage. If our minds are not present then we will still feel a little empty. Lets start using our minds more effectively and efficiently.

In deep orgasm, if you are aware, you will know for the first time what ecstasy is. Otherwise you have only heard the word; you have not known its meaning. Only in deep orgasm, if you are aware, if your flame of awareness is burning bright, will you be able to know that sex is not just sex. Sex is the outermost layer; deep inside is love; and even deeper is prayer; and deepest is God himself. Sex can become a cosmic experience; Sex plus awareness... and something tremendous starts changing. - Osho

Author

My name is Cameo .I have been married for 16 years and with my husband for 17.5 years. I know that the sexual connection in a marriage can create strength and happiness and I also know the lack of a sexual connection can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied. Lets get real open and become sexually satisfied in our marriages!