Military Spouse denied entry to Ft. Bragg Officer Spouse Club...

Dear Ms. Mary Ring,
Earlier this month, I was delighted to find that there existed an Officers’ Spouse Club (OSC) on the Ft. Bragg base. My wife and I have been together for fifteen years as partners, and with the recent repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, are finally legally married.I emailed a listed contact for the group and eagerly waited to hear back. When I did, I was incredibly disappointed to be told I “do not qualify.”

I respectfully ask that you reconsider my request to join the Association of Bragg Officers’ Spouses. Although I have only been a legal spouse since November 10th, I have been in a committed relationship with my spouse since 1997. I have been at every promotion ceremony from First Lieutenant through Lieutenant Colonel. I watched with pride when she took her guideon and began company command, and I was the shoulder she cried on when she had to give it up. I have endured deployments and several TDYs, and I’ll continue to comfort our son and newborn daughter as they watch her leave on the next. When I decided to dedicate myself to my spouse, I knew all to well I was dedicating myself to the Army as well.

My record of service to the military community would be an outstanding addition to your group. I began volunteering to assist military families. As an educator, I would often tutor “Army Brats” in reading. I briefed inbound families on the different school districts assisting in housing location decisions. I have worked with local Humane Societies to help deployed Soldiers find temporary homes for their pets while they deploy, and most recently, I volunteer as a family coordinator for American Military Partner Association assisting other military members with same-sex partners and their families work through the existing inequalities we face.

I am aware that I am not the only same-sex spouse denied membership in a military spouse association. It is happening in other service branches, as well. The American Military Partner Association comes together to support spouses in this situation. Most recently, Tanisha Ward, the wife of a deployed Airman, was denied membership to the Little Rock Air Force Base Spouse’s Club. She and her wife had just PCS’d to Little Rock when her wife, A1C Hensley, deployed. Far away from her family and friends, Tanisha looked to other spouses for support. However, Tanisha was denied as a same-sex spouse. Ft. Bragg should not be another example of this discrimination.

You see, Ms. Ring, our lives are more similar than they are different. I am dedicated to my spouse and the country we love. I was excited to stumble upon your Facebook page, and to see an organization whose vales and enthusiasm were so inline with my own. I read through your mission and the description of your club and found a club where I could continue to make a difference. I was overjoyed when I read that the Club is made up of military spouses dedicated to the tradition of the Army, while moving towards its vision of tomorrow. My families and families like mine are included in the vision of tomorrow’s Army. Please keep in mind that DADT was repealed over a year ago. Our Commander-in-Chief supports us; I was the first same-sex spouse/mother invited by the First Lady to attend her Mother’s Day Tea. We are a part of the face of this country’s future, and the White House, Pentagon, and many other posts are leaning forward to embrace this progression.

I hope that you reconsider my membership in the Ft. Bragg OSC, as Ft. Bragg is known amongst military communities for setting the standard, leading by example, and being at the forefront of change.

Here are my thoughts on the matter, aside from the fact that most people who know me know I'm a huge LGBT rights supporter: Military families, regardless as to whether or not you agree with individual choices, need support as they encourage, stay strong for, and manage the homefront for their deployed spouses/significant others. And most groups that I've ever been involved with even recognize/include girlfriends/fiancees...

I just feel that if this was any other minority group, it wouldn't even be a question! */rant*

I will not sign the petition, I am a huge supporter of gay rights, however as of yet the federal gov does not recognise same sex marriage. With this regardless of where the same sex couple gets married it will not be recognised by the fed gov.
At this time because of this same sex couples cannot get tricare for the spouse, cannot get BAH with dependants, cannot get seperation pay ect.
And until the Fed gov recognises same sex marriage this includes becoming a member of a spouses association.

I believe it will happen, but not for a long time.

also the repeal of DADT only allowed homosexuals to openly serve in the military, it does not require the military to recognise same sex marriage.

I agree with you, regardless of their lifestyle choice, orientation, race etc. they're still a military family, she still has a loved one deployed and deserves just as much support as any heterosexual family does.

I don't get it, the LGBT individuals who choose to serve our country are NO different from those who are straight and they deserve just as much respect as anyone else. Times are changing, I know not everyone agrees with it but still.

Wow. Repeal of DADT should encompass all aspects of military life. I hope this letter makes them realize how intolerant the closed off they are being to their own.

This is ridiculous

"Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"

I will not sign the petition, I am a huge supporter of gay rights, however as of yet the federal gov does not recognise same sex marriage. With this regardless of where the same sex couple gets married it will not be recognised by the fed gov.
At this time because of this same sex couples cannot get tricare for the spouse, cannot get BAH with dependants, cannot get seperation pay ect.
And until the Fed gov recognises same sex marriage this includes becoming a member of a spouses association.

I believe it will happen, but not for a long time.

While I hate to say it, I do understand this. It varies state to state with who can get married so I understand the adoption of using fed. standards, I just wish the fed. standards weren't so screwed up.

Then again I prefer when spouses clubs are open to fiances and girl/boyfriends, that does away with the whole legal issue and gives everyone who needs it support.

With the repeal last year of the "donít ask, donít tell" law, many military people, including senior leaders, assumed that married gay and lesbian couples had gained not only job security but also equality in allowances, benefits and access to family support programs. That assumption is wrong.

Since the law took effect 14 months ago, the Defense Department has kept in place policies that bar spouses of same-gender couples from having military identification cards, shopping on base, living in base housing or participating in certain family support programs.