The Real Secret to Career Success: Confidence

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The real secret to success is one folks rarely
talk about, either because they don’t think they have to point it
out or they don’t realize it’s the first real step.

The first thing to worry about, the thing that matters first,
before all others? Your confidence.

If you’re not confident, “networking” and “baby steps” won’t take
you very far. You’ll go to events and flail about. As you
interact with people, you’ll convey your own self-doubt. Your
words may say one thing, but your body language will say, “I
don’t believe in myself, and neither should you.”

If you first build your confidence—and do it in a way
that is both sincere and natural (a way that works for you, not
someone else)—then you can take just about any step you
want. If you exude confidence, people will be drawn
to you—not the other way around.

And when you put yourself out there with confidence, each of your
efforts is multitudes more effective, because your aura says,
“Hey, I’m worth something. I mean business here. I’m worth
listening to. And you should.”

Failing to emphasize the importance of confidence does a real
disservice to up-and-comers

Some people feel ineffective doing what they need to do to
succeed. They’ll attend networking events without much
success, and we just tell them to go to more. “Just get yourself
out there,” we say. “The more people you meet, the more
comfortable you’ll feel.”

But if you’re uncomfortable in these situations, forcing yourself
to attend networking events will exacerbate the problem. You’ll
stand in the room with an aura of insecurity, and your presence
will have a limited effect on those around you.

Your confidence at events may improve over time, but
it’s a slow-going and largely ineffective approach.

Instead, take the time to build your confidence beforehand.

How?

Here are three ways that work for me. You don’t need to pursue
all three; you can focus your energies on one, and you’ll still
likely benefit. Build all three, and you have a winning
combination.

1. Think yourself into a positive attitude

Uh, yeah, I mean mantras. Dismiss them if you want, but at least
hear me out. If you say only uplifting things to yourself,
uplifting things are eventually what you’ll believe. It protects
you from the self-doubt and self-hate that sometimes creeps into
your psyche. If you busy yourself thinking one thing, there’s no
room for weeds to take root.

The point is: you are what you think and
believe. If your thoughts aren’t constructive and
exuberant, you won’t be, either.

2. Take baby steps

Just make sure to pursue baby steps that make you feel awesome.
Here are two approaches:

Pursue what comes naturally, even if it doesn’t seem
related to your goal. If you’re a talented illustrator,
draw for 20 minutes. If you’re a crossword puzzle whiz, do one.
Do whatever you’re good at for 15-20 minutes prior to something
scary as a confidence booster. And after you rock out at it,
remind yourself, “Damn, I am good.” Hold on to that emotion as
you transition to whatever it is that scares you.

I use writing as my confidence booster because I write quickly.
Every morning, I write for 30 minutes. I also write whenever I
need a boost so I can work through any emotions that are holding
me back. Feeling myself move through words helps build my
certainty. This is actually how the article you’re reading
originally started. I was building myself up to write
documentation for work. And though both are writing, you can see
this is definitely not documentation.

The baby steps do not have to be in the direction of what you’re
actually trying to accomplish. Your
steps just have to make you feel good and re-establish your
belief in yourself.

Or tackle something scary. Getting my wisdom
teeth pulled terrified me. I put the appointment off for years.
This was during a time when I worked a job I hated and knew I
needed to quit, but I was scared to do that, too.

Months later than I should have, I finally put in my notice, and
since my health insurance was expiring, I also had to have the
teeth removed. I scheduled the appointment for the last day of
work and, as I drove there, high on the realization I was leaving
the office for the last time, it dawned on me: after finally
quitting, the wisdom teeth felt like a joke. Tackle one fear, and
other things feel suddenly easier.

3. Once you tackle something successfully, hold onto that little
surge of confidence

A body in motion stays in motion! Dwell on the self-esteem and
energy boost that you feel and quickly find something else to
apply yourself to. If you can find something either a little
scarier or a little more in line with your real goal (e.g., the
networking event or the job application), then do it.

Keep at the little things to keep building confidence. I write
every day, waiting for other opportunities, just so that I can
preserve the momentum I’ve built with this habit. Do
whatever you need to keep this momentum. Don’t let it
dwindle at any cost. Get into a silly routine if you have to.
Persevere and try to build on the boost by applying yourself to
more and more challenging tasks.

Because the real step one, before you can be effective at taking
any of the other steps toward success, is to build up your
confidence. Confidence is everything.

Krista Goral is an IT consultant by day and doubles down as a
writer, blogger, philosopher/doer by night. She explores the
everyday human experience on her two blogs, Response Crafting and Moments in Notes.

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