Unapologetically Tragically Hillarious

Reader’s Choice

I recently asked my Facebook friends what some good topics for posts might be.

This is what they said
1. Ferrets
2. Anxiety / Depression
3. My near Homunculus stature
4. Dogs
5. Sewing
6. Make-up
7. Amanda Palmer and her bad assness
8. Why all the awesome girls are dating assholes.
9. Why America is so commercialized
10. Why there is so much more violence these days.
11. Small Victories
12. Things I find encouraging
13. Something about people getting tackled at Walmart for carrying guns (I’m going to have to look that up)
14. Living with invisible chronic illnesses.
15. Rainbows.

OK, so obviously some of those can be lumped together. Some of them have fairly straight forward answers. Some of them require more thought and vulnerability on my part.

So let’s start with an easy one.

Ferrets

This is a domestic ferret which is not a rodent. Domestic ferrets should not be confused with the black footed ferret, a north American weasel near extinction that mostly eat prairie dogs. They are not rodents either; opposed to prairie dogs which are. Domestic ferrets are more closely related to skunks than to rodents (skunks are not rodents either). If you are confused about what rodents are go Google it.

You were expecting a link? That’s lazy of you. Google it yourself. I’ll wait.

Good! You’re back. I was disturbed to find that when I Googled “ferret” looking for the above picture, the top 5 news articles were about a ferret mauling a baby’s face off in Pennsylvania. I was delighted to read the parents were being charged, although, I doubt that saved the ferret or unmauled the baby.

Poorly trained ferrets can and will bite but in my 11 years and 5 ferrets of experience I’ve never had one draw blood. That still doesn’t mean I would ever ever everleave my ferrets alone with my infant.

Ferrets, for those who have never met one, have 2 settings: sleeping and a bizarre amalgamation of a toddler and a kitten after it’s 4th consecutive shot of espresso. They appear to be made of rubber, slinkies, and wrapped in fur. You can’t not laugh at them.

That’s why I, a person with depression, keep them around. They’re at times better than Zoloft, which is precisely why one of my ferrets’ name is Zoe.

Well that’s all I’ve got time for, but trust me, I’ll get to the rest of them.