The List: 28 Mar 2002 (Issue 437)

PHILIPPA VAFADARI, aerialist and trapeze artist, ﬂies through her best circus performers.

1 Mark Tait - Crystal Vita - De la Warr Pavilion, Bexhill on Sea, August 2001 He sprained his thumb so he did his silks routine on the floor and it was still amazing.

2 Circus 0: at the Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh Fringe 1988 Multi-talented performers playing instruments while flying through the air over a collapsing rig.

3 Club Swing - the Palladium, Edinburgh Fringe 1995 Epicurean lesbian show — I had to eat a strawberry out of the cleavage of the awe-inspiring 'Annie'. Six months later I took a trapeze lesson.

4 Jean-Paul Zaccharini Won “erotic performer of the year award' 1999. Climbed a rope in a g-string, did an enormous drop and received a rope burn that stretched from his left shoulder to his right ankle.

5 Momentary Fusion - Stung The Gilbert and George of the circus world. but still very impressive and invenﬁve.

1 Regular ring I really like the ones that just beep. A regular ring. the one that just goes. derlelerl. derlelerl. That one's all right and you can actually tell yourself that it’s the music by S'Express.

2 Enter The Gladiator That's circus music; that’s quite fun to have on your phone. It cheers you up that someone's ringing you.

3 Dolphins Cry by Dive I saw it advertised once when I was looking through ring tones for Nokia phones. Now that's a great rock song and I've never heard it on someone's phone.

Not enough that an actor commands the top box office slot or a musician the number one spot, some inflate their egos further by leaping from acting to singing and vice versa. As Britney Spears stumbles across the divide, we chart the crossover success.

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The professional pop virgin scores fuII marks simply for ‘Baby One More Time’. which overrides every forgettable track she’s done since and, indeed, will ever do. As for Crossroads, our professional opinion is that she doesn‘t act so much as pretend to be someone she’s not.

Russell Crowe So what if Russ can flex pecks in Gladiator and pull facial ticks for Oscars in A Beautiful Mind? His Aussie rock outfit, 3O Odd Foot Of Grunts, do just that: grunt. And only just that, mind.

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Lopez gets a hard time about her acting, but watch Out Of Sight to see she gives good performance. J- Lo’s had success with her Latino/R&B/hip hop tunes, but she's benefited from talented producers such 3, as Puff Daddy and talented re-mix artists without having much of the big T herself.

Bjork Although her music is a joy for her to make and us to hear, Bjork had a miserable time filming Dancer In The Dark for mean old Lars von Trier. But she impressed many with her astonishingly raw performance.

He’s great in The Matrix and Bill And Ted, but nothing else ever suited his meagre talents. Still, it was a y bad move taking time off filmmaking to tour with his grunge band, Dogstar, aka Dogshit.

Cher We love her for ‘River Deep And Mountain High’ and ‘I Got You Babe’, but frankly, we’re

still troubled by that funny thing she did with her voice on ‘Believe’. On screen, in the likes of Moonstruck and Mask she’s pulled off the rare feat of keeping her cred.

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'3‘, The Geordie chancer has ploughed his own tantric furrow in both music and film. You may wince at his

eco-conscious AOR meanderings, but don’t forget the Police. You may cringe at his metal butterfly pants in Dune, but don’t forget . . . er, well, no actually he can’t act, can he?

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If the criteria were screen presence, Marilyn would score 11/10. Always great to watch, but she never stretched herself acting-wise, and the same can be said of her vocals. Though if she’d sung you ‘Happy Birthday’. you wouldn’t have minded losing your head.

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Ole blue eyes might be consistent with the tunes, but his film career was as varied as The Man With The Golden Arm (great) and Ocean’s Eleven (shite). Always looked good on screen, though.

The Art of Star Wars City Art Centre. Edinburgh

Gamorrean Greebo aka Nute Gunray Guard aka Sam aka Steve

Max The pod Thebes”. thing; has It is a very racer as you got to he the good (:on‘e III the Darth Vader. it's exhibition. The door is done really well best bit was great. it's so With the sound when I was on big. effects and all the the stage costumes in