May ends in Junethe papers sayand she knows why.What no one knowsis, come Julywho'll steer the rudder.Mention of Borismakes people shudder.Some who believewe need new bloodmay be inclinedto choose Amber Rudd.

Gargi is a student-in-transit who dabbles in poetry on her blog when she is not eating books for breakfast

23/04/2019

Swing low

The opinion pollstersare sure of one thing:that among votersthere is a swingto Labour from Tories.And that is the truth,not fictional stories.It is estimatedthat the Reds would beatthe bungling Bluesby at least sixty seats.With such a victorywhat would happen thenis that Jeremy Corbynwould be in number 10.

We often hear that Britain is the best,our football league harder than the rest,that with every invention we were first,that it was here democracy was nursedbut in the art of comedy we truly exceland in Westminster our comedians dwell.They are not in the league of Mark Twainbut their fame spread as far as Ukraine.

Great-grandmother1 left Ireland for WalesGreat-grandfather1 left Ireland for WalesGreat-grandmother 2 left Wales for AmericaGreat-grandfather 2 left Wales for AmericaGrandmother1 left Ireland for WalesGrandfather1 left America for WalesUncle1 left Wales for South AfricaSister1 left the UK for FranceCousin 1 left the UK for AustraliaNephew 1 left the UK for FranceNephew 2 left the UK for AmericaNephew 3 left the UK for AmericaNephew 2's wife left Israel for AmericaNephew 3's wife left Cuba for America

I cannot bear the tension;I heard that Theresa Maymight be offered by the EUa so called 'flextension'to the Article 50 timetableso that the UK will be ableto avoid falling offthe white cliffs of Dover.But will it ever end?Yes, when hell freezes over,dear friends.

The fashion wardrobe at NASA
Aren't doing too well-
The shoes clumpy,
The main body
Rather lumpy too.
The headwear does nothing
If you want it to be flattering,
And medium (female size) costumes
Are not available for two.

Hello plods everywhere,is it me you are looking for?I have just got to let you knowthat when driving I text.I can see that you don't smileand you seem quite perplexedthat I should use my mobileirresponsibly, as before.

A Hong Kong companywas much criticisedfor making an offerthey thought hard to resist.Discounted laptopsfor male employeesand vacuum cleanersfor the distaff side.But the implicationwas decidedly sexist.Most men protestedsaying they were keeneron having the optionof a vacuum cleaner.

It seems to be the normfor chimpanzees to escapefrom the zoo enclosureduring a violent storm.They don't lose composurewhen faced by onlookersbut they fear the exposureto the inclement weatherso they go hell-for-leatherback to their pens.

As she is a good sport
she's asked the support
of her arch-enemy
a man called Jeremy.
She'll hustle and bustle
the people in Brussels
with the utmost zeal
to save the exit deal.
Those who don't want out
want to save the sprout.
They'll flex their muscles
to keep their brussels
and will fight Mrs. May
forever and a day.

I know that comedians
yearn to play Hamlet,
a role much iconic,
but a flight attendant
who wants to be a comic
is a new one on me.
I hear she tells jokes
with pre-flight advice
to calm nervous folks
and to break the ice.

I did not know until today
that Penguin Awareness Day
was all of a sudden upon us.
I read a poem while on a bus
written by that modern bard,
Brian Bilston, that was hard
to believe but fascinating.
In it he seems to be stating
that one is a guest of his
but doesn't know why that is.

Many fans will be upset
if Andy leaves the stage.
It isn't because of old age
that he intends to retire
but because his body suffers
from pains in his injured hip.
He might have to skip
the Wimbledon tournament.
And added to that torment
there is a further regret:
that his daughter will never
see him play.

Tumblr is cleaning up
Creepshots of people fully clothed,
Pornography with cloned heads
Non-consensual has been moved
From the sexual.
Desperate for a look,
A fantasy, a laugh-
A five minute distraction
Salacious clips
Crawl the Darknet,
The underbelly
Of our humanity.

Green belt land is bulldozed
For 1,300 new homes-
Locals don't like it because
There's no 'affordable' housing or bungalows.
It's convenient for the private school Kings-
And routes into Manchester and Wales
Though Wrexham Road will be clogged up-
That's someone else's problem;
The developers just want
Their 20% profit and to move on.

In Rio de Janeiro
a would-be thief
tried to mug a female
strawweight boxer
with muscles of steel
and not made of straw.
She remained very cool
and floored the fool
with a vigorous kick
and a punch to the jaw.

I read that the coffee
is now bulletproof.
It was unbelievable;
I nearly hit the roof.
It is not the espresso
that makes me aflutter
but a new concoction
with added butter
and coconut oil.
Just to think of it
made my blood boil.