Poll finds fresh increase in US racism ~ Europe must really be laughing their heads off at us right now. Or they would be, anyway, if they didn’t still have seasonal race riots or if they’d ever voted a black dude to head the EU. So stick that in your stein and drink it, Fritz!

Obesity is a Bigger Problem Globally than Hunger~ Absolutely. A self-inflicted ‘epidemic’ that kills rich first-world folks over the course of decades is no less heinous than the sight of swole-bellied children starving to death under a fly-choked sky.

The Fact That You Will Never Have To Suffer Hypertension, Diabetes, Gout Or A Host Of First-World Maladies Should Put An End To Your Sense Of Entitlement And Also Help With Your Obvious Body-Image Issues.

By Smaktakula

Arrogant, You Knew. Dirty, You Knew. But Bravely Committed To The Ideals Of Free Speech?

It sounded like a great idea: invite Islam’s premier prophet to guest edit a French humor magazine. The editors of French Satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo had long sought to entice the Prophet Mohammed to bring his singular wit and warm sense of humor to their magazine. Charlie Hebdo’s editors were ecstatic when Mohammed agreed to a guest editorship, but what no one could have expected was that things would quickly turn deadly.

Although impossible to foresee, the Prophet’s selection proved controversial. Charlie Hebdo’s editors expressed surprise at the outrage, claiming that Mohammed’s selection was to celebrate the victory in Tunisia by an Islamist party during the so-called ‘Arab Spring.’ Further, in a move the magazine staff was sure would delight Muslims worldwide, they decided to honor the Prophet on their cover, depicting him in cartoon saying, ‘100 lashes if you’re not dying of laughter.’

This Disturbing Image Is Insensitive To Muslims! Not That It Matters, But We Suppose It's Also Offensive To Satanic Crusaders And Filthy Jews.

Surprisingly, the Islamic community was not entirely amused. Although known for being an easy-going and tolerant religion, some Islamists reacted to the Prophet’s guest-editor stint with uncharacteristic rage. Charlie Hebdo received a number of threats on various social networking sites, but no one took seriously the notion that an adherent of Islam would commit violence in the name of Allah.

If You Want To Mock Christian Figures--Including Their God, Knock Yourself Out--The Worst You Need Fear Is A Stern Talking-To.

Amazingly, that’s just what happened. Charlie Hebdo‘s Paris offices were destroyed by a petrol bomb. Even now, weeks later, a stunned world is still trying to make sense of this. Some so-called ‘experts’ have opined that the violence was the work of radical Muslims, who are sometimes known to be touchy about depictions of the Prophet. Promethean Times disagrees. Whoever the vandals are, they’re more likely to be angry Christians or Jews. If there’s one thing we know about Muslims, it’s that they can take a joke.

A real-life version of the movie Footloose played out recently in Saudi Arabia. Unlike the cinematic version, the Wahabi version did not end with the creaky town elders learning to loosen up and have a little fun once in a while. Also, no glitter.

Actually Much Cooler Than His Real-Life Counterpart.

In the backwater shithole of Ha’il, fifteen men and women vowed to fight the antiseptic tedium of their earth-bound Arrakis in the only way they knew how: by throwing the biggest all-night rager in the history of the caliphate.

Just as Lithgow & co. despised dancing, the mullahcracy took a dim view of the young Saudis’ bacchanalian revelry. Scandalized by the thought of eleven unmarried men and four husbandless women mingling–mingling!– at a party, the town’s sense of propriety was badly bruised. Fortunately, a judge soberly deliberated upon Islamic law, and levelled a sentence deemed appropriate by most voices in the community:

A severe beating, followed by some contemplative time in a Saudi jail cell.

It Pretty Much Happens Just Like This.

The court proved even more merciful on the fourth woman–a minor–who only received lashings. A source close to the woman reported:

“She thanks merciful God and His prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that for her great crimes, the wise mullahs sought only to beat her within an inch of her life.”

It Was At About This Point That The Party Got Crazy.

Some human rights advocates have decried the Saudis’ punishment as unduly harsh. While it may seem extreme by Western standards, can you imagine what would have happened if it were a human breast-milk party?