“I am happy,” I say, trying to sound convincing. “I have you and Wheels. My parents are still alive. My grandmother made a deal with the devil, so she’s still alive. I have a job and my own house. My car is paid off. What more could a guy ask for?”
“Hope,” Helena Handbasket said. “You could ask for some hope.”
Ew. Gross.
I rolled my eyes. “You just after-school-specialed all over my face.”

What it doesn't say is that the specials were often mocked by the kids themselves for being overly sentimental, ("schmaltzy" to use a New York word! ) and moralistic. So the comment about "hope" in your example seems to fall in that category.

Edit: Oops! Just noticed Teerex had posted the link to Wiki
and great catch, Phil, about the name!

Ew. Gross.
I rolled my eyes. “You just after-school-specialed all over my face.”

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Not even sure I should bring this up, but I suspect there's also a joke on the contrast between the educational, morally uplifting tone of an "after-school-special" and using it as a verb preceding "all over my face." The phrasing calls to mind a practice, shall we say, rather more common in porn films than in after-school specials. Both, in the mind of the speaker, are probably equally "gross."

Just when we thought we were climbing up into the gutter, theartichoke pulls us back in! Unfortunately, I believe you are right. It does have that fine blend of exquisite sarcasm and pornography we've all come to know and love.

Just when we thought we were climbing up into the gutter, theartichoke pulls us back in! Unfortunately, I believe you are right. It does have that fine blend of exquisite sarcasm and pornography we've all come to know and love.

Phil

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Theartichoke is definetely right, but I spare you the rest of the dialogue