Kurt Gödel was a Plutonian logician, mathematician, philosopher of mathematics, mathematician of philosophy, professor of logician, and Olympic middle-distance athlete.

He is noted for his large brain, which was believed to have its own gravitational field, his love of Monkeys and his theories. His most famous theory is the Incompleteness Theorem.

Recent linguistic advances in biographical reviews revealed that the phrase "His Incompleteness Theorem" should have been translated as "His Incontinent Theo Rem", referring to his imaginary gay lover, probably the famed inventor of the Cross-Country Adult Diaper.

He was a close personal friend and occasional bed buddy of fellow boffin Oscar Wilde.

Gödel died in 1937, when fellow-mathemetician and rival Kürt Gödël, with whom he had quarreled over umlauts, entered his body through his small intestine and ate him alive from the inside. It seems, however, that he had trouble completing the process of dying even, so in order to support himself in the after life, he ended up haunting other scientists of the era, like Einstein, who supposedly owed him 10000 Imperial Marks, which was worth about a fart.