March 14, 2006

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Hahaha, I couldn’t think of a title, so I just did that, haha. Its too early in the morning to think, lol.

I got a phone call yesterday on my way home from work, well, a voicemail message….it was Country Boy. He’s in town off and on a lot this week, and he called and said “Hey stranger, call me back, I’ll talk to ya soon.” something like that. So, I was like, ok, I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. So, I called him back. I was driving home, on my way to Ian’s soccer practice (Mondays and Thursdays 5-6p, lol) and I make it home literally at 5:45 from work, get off work at 5, so I just drove straight to the soccer game, called his house on my cell and let him know I’d be home after 6 when Ian’s practice is done. I didn’t hear back from him, so called his cell thinking maybe he wasn’t actually home, but just called me from wherever the hell his work sent him this time, left a voicemail saying I was home, give me a call. He finally called back a little after 9 pm. He was in Ravenswood, but went to see his family after leaving me a message. He said he had planned to come see me this evening, but while spending time with his family, they had a bad storm there (lots of lightning and high winds, which I don’t mind if I’m at home, lol, my little car doesn’t do good driving in the high winds though, lol) and it knocked a tree over onto a fence at the farm and the cows were getting out, so they had to round up some cows and fix the fence. He said he’d be “floating in and out” of Ravenswood this week so he’d get in touch with me and he can come see me, if its ok with me. I told him it was, and he asked if I was sure and I said yes. See, I have money to give him. He helped me pay some bills here and there during the time we were seeing each other, he didn’t have to, I never asked him to, but he offered, and I am grateful he was there to help me when I needed it, and now I’m in the position to pay him back and I’d like to give him the check in person and thank him in person for his helping me. (not to mention I’d just like to see him again, I miss the old Country Boy!) So, we actually talked on the phone a bit. We haven’t really been able to have a real conversation that wasn’t rushed in about 3 months….we talked for nearly an hour, and it was the kind of conversation we used to have, laid back, cracking jokes, talking about what’s going on in our lives….just having a relaxing conversation, it was nice. The last few times of talking on the phone has lasted about 5 minutes each time, usually cut off by a bad signal, and for a while was with me crying because I didn’t get my closure when it came to him and I not seeing each other anymore. But, this was a nice relaxing conversation that I liked. He apologized for the lack of communication and said he wasn’t ignoring me and if I really didn’t want to see him that’s ok too. At this point, it will be nice to see him, I can thank him in person the way I think someone deserves to be thanked, for helping me through a bad time.

Greta (one of the few people who ACTUALLY comment on my blogs, lol) commented on yesterday’s blog about ex, that he doesn’t deserve to see him. Well, I completely agree, he doesn’t deserve to see his son as far as the way he acts towards his son, but, Ian wants to see HIM, so that’s why I let him go, because its what Ian wants. When Ian is old enough to make his own mind up about wanting to see his dad or not, then I will let him decide if he wants to go. That’s how I’m handling it now, its not for my ex, its for Ian. 🙂 But yea, I agree, he doesn’t deserve this great kid, lol. Hell, I don’t deserve this great kid, I was definitely blessed!

Speaking of blessed….Ian told me today when I made our gourmet dinner of hot dogs and mac-n-cheese, all microwavable thank you, because I put so much hard work into my dinners (I didnt have anything thawed and he said he was hungry, which I believe with daycare all day and then soccer practice, he’d worked up a good appetite, so had to make something quick), after this gourmet meal he announces “mommy you’re the best cook ever, cause I ate all my food” hahaha. How can you NOT love this kid? lol.

OK, back to work! Have a great day you 2 or 3 people who read my blog, haha.

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i agree with your decision totally…you’re doing the right thing girl…but when it comes to a point when Ian is getting hurt that’s when to draw the line…girl i need to go into psychiatry…don’t ya think (wink)