Trying to "catch up" is a trap,
one of the many that take me out of the now into the remembered
shortcomings of the past and the rectifying schemes for the
future.

Ask myself

do i really have to do this now?

will postponing it help anything?

why am i so sad?

even the daily
journal a fore-
shortened grid
into which i
try to write my
time

doug asked me if i was a physicist
when i used the expression grid or
the metaphor of a mesh or screen
placed on reality that enables
measurement but also obscures
fine patterns, the opposition of
reason and superstition,
science and the occult, physics
and metaphysics. no, i said.
philosophy. but it turns out
that both physicists and meta-
physicists trip and visualize and talk
about the same kind of shit