Novato AIDS survivor tells his story on World AIDS Day

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Bobby Moske reads aloud the names of people who have died in recent years during a World Aids Day event presented by the Marin HIV/AIDS Care Council and the Spahr Center at the Falkirk Cultural Center in San Rafael on Thursday. (Alan Dep/Marin Independent Journal)

Since the first Marin AIDS case was reported in 1982 and Saturday, which is World AIDS Day, 1,442 Marin residents have been diagnosed with the disease and 835 have died.

In the case of James Frazier, one of the 641 Marin residents living with HIV infection, news of the disease didn’t make much of an impression on him until it was too late.

“I knew about HIV but I really didn’t pay attention to it until I found out I had it,” said Frazier.

James Frazier is a member of the Marin HIV/AIDS Care Council. (Alan Dep/Marin Independent Journal)

The 60-year-old Novato resident grew up in Philadelphia the eighth child in a family with five sisters and three brothers. When he was 11, his father died of multiple sclerosis.

He joined the Army when he graduated from high school in 1975; the Vietnam war had just ended.

“I decided to join the Army because I wanted to try to learn better discipline for myself,” Frazier said.

It was in April 1989, two years after he left the Army, that Frazier was diagnosed with AIDS. He had sought medical attention for a case of shingles and a blood test revealed he was not only HIV positive but had full-blown AIDS.

“I was told when I was diagnosed that I was going to die within six weeks,” Frazier said. “I was really afraid. I wouldn’t talk about my situation to anyone.

“At the time I was bisexual so I could have caught it from a man or a woman,” he said, “but now I’m just gay.”

Frazier said for nearly 10 years he lived in denial, seeking no medical treatment. Then in 1998 another case of shingles sent him back to the doctor and he began taking medication.

“That’s when I went home and told my mother I had AIDS,” Frazier said. “When I told my mother, my mother practically disowned me.

“All my sisters they support me very well,” he said. “My sisters told all their kids to love me regardless. My brothers, they are a different picture.”

Frazier said he used to think that the disease was punishment from God for doing all the things his mother warned him not to do.

“I used to wish that I would die,” he said, “but I would never kill myself for the simple reason that once a person commits suicide they can’t ask forgiveness for what they’ve done.”

Eventually Frazier reconciled with his mother, and now he attributes his miraculous survival to his mother’s prayers. Although he still has AIDS — his t-cell count remains below 200 — his health is stable. He began taking a new medication, Biktarvy, four months ago that requires taking a single pill a day.

“My bioload went from 55,000 down to 50 in one month; the bioload indicates how much HIV is in your system,” Frazier said.

Frazier serves on the Marin HIV/AIDS Care Council, which advises Marin County on how to spend federal money provided to support people living with HIV/AIDS and prevent new infections. He has also given talks in local schools, juvenile detention facilities and jails.

“I always let them know they don’t have to get this disease,” Frazier said. “All they have to do is protect themselves and protect their partners, and they’ll be OK.”

Frazier said for him the hardest part about living with the disease has been the isolation. He said since his diagnosis 29 years ago he has had five intimate relationships, the longest lasting just 15 months.

“I have a problem getting a partner,” Frazier said, “because I’m the kind of person that I automatically tell somebody who I want to be with that I have AIDS, and it usually scares them away from me.

“I would never want to see anyone get this disease,” he said, “because sometimes you have to go into your own little corner; you’re by yourself and nobody is there with you.”

In 2017, there were 15 new cases of HIV infection and five deaths among people with HIV reported in Marin. Between 2008 and 2017, Marin County averaged 18 new HIV infections per year. An estimated 15 to 20 of Marin’s homeless population are living with HIV.

According to UNAIDS, an estimated 1.8 million people worldwide became newly infected with HIV and 940,000 died from AIDS in 2017. UNAIDS estimates there are 36.9 million people globally living with HIV; almost an equal number, 35.4 million, have died from AIDS-related illnesses since the start of the epidemic.

Cicily Emerson, a public health program manager for Marin County, said the county will receive about $860,000 in federal funds for HIV/AIDS programs this year, about $24,000 less than last year.

Emerson said the money is used for a variety of purposes: case management, mental health, emergency financial assistance, transportation, benefits navigation, medical and dental services. The county, which allocates the federal money, contracts with the Spahr Center to provide most of the services.

In the spring of 2015, Marin AIDS Project merged with the Spectrum LGBT Center to become the Spahr Center. In a cost-saving move, the center relocated from San Rafael to 150 Nellen Ave. in Corte Madera last week.

Jennifer Malone, executive director of the Spahr Center, said that while federal funding for HIV/AIDS has remained relatively stable the last couple of years there have been reductions in allocations for HIV testing, housing case management and the center’s food pantry that are worrisome.

Malone said the Spahr Center’s work to make syringes available does not receive federal HIV/AIDs dollars, even though it is an important preventative program, and lacks funding.

“The fact of the matter is,” Malone said, “ while HIV can be managed now with medication as long as you have an early diagnosis, there are hundreds of people in the area who have lived with HIV or AIDS for years and who are still struggling. Many people are suffering from multiple health issues as they get older.

“That’s where our focus and attention is,” she said, “providing the support that they need.”