(I work in a small sporting goods store where we allow customers to demo certain products before purchase. They sign a form agreeing to bring them back within a week or be subject to late fees. This customer slipped through the cracks and was 4 weeks late. I decided to call and give him one day to return our products before we charged him.)

Me: “Hello, sir! My name is [My Name]. I’m calling from [Company]. I’m calling about a couple of demos you have out from us.”

Customer: “Hmm? Oh, yes! I do have those!”

Me: “Yes, sir. You are actually four weeks late on returning them. I wanted to remind you that our store policy is to charge your card for late returns, but if you can get them back to me by the end of tomorrow, I won’t charge you for it.”

Customer: “Oh, ok. I was actually going to buy one of them.” *he proceeds to tell me which one* “How much does it cost?”

(My supervisor is filling in for a cashier. A customer checking out hands him a coupon from one of our competitor stores. Corporate has recently told us we can only match it if we have a similar coupon running, which we don’t for this one.)

Customer: “You ALWAYS take competitor coupons!”

Supervisor: “Unfortunately, sir, we can’t honor this one.”

Customer: “Well, what’s stopping me from taking this coupon and buying this same item from THEIR store?”

(I am a customer. I witness an argument at one of the tills over a false label on an expensive cricket set. It appears as though the label has been attached by the customer. It is obviously written in green felt tip and not real.)

Customer: “Why won’t you give me the discount?”

Employee: “Because this is obviously a fake label.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A SCAM ARTIST! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(The employee fetches a manager.)

Manager: “Sir, we are not going to sell you a set that costs £189.99 for only £15. This is obviously not a real label.”

(The customer takes a bat out of the pack and raises it in a threatening motion.)

Customer: “GIVE IT TO ME FOR FREE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SKULLS!”

(Suddenly, out of nowhere, a random customer who is just walking past grabs the bat. He moves it round the unruly customer’s shoulder, flooring the bad customer and disarming him in one motion. The random customer goes right up to his face.)

Random Customer: “Buddy, you ain’t gonna get s*** unless you calm down and learn to be an honest man instead of a p***k. F*** off.”

(The unruly customer gets up and runs off, only to be grabbed by security and arrested a few minutes later. The good customer was given a £100 gift card and was even offered a job as a security guard! He declined, saying it was his duty to be a good citizen. I found out he was an ex-colonel in the British army and had been in tougher situations than that.)

(I am working my very first shift at a new job. The coworker training me has stepped out to make a call. A middle-aged customer comes up to the counter looking cross. As he does a young woman comes through the door and sees him.)

Young Woman: “Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No you don’t!”

(The man turns around to face her in shock.)

Young Woman: “Not a chance! You came in here every single day for a year just to bully and ridicule me! You made me wait on you hand and foot, and complained the whole time, and you’ve yet to actually buy anything! Every day that you came in here—and made my life h***—I went home and cried! You are nothing but a mean, pathetic loser, and I’ll be d***** if I let you treat this poor girl the way you treated me!”

Customer: “EXCUSE ME? YOU WILL BE FIRED FOR THIS YOU WORTHLESS B****!”

Young Woman: “Nope, not this time a**-hole! I don’t work here anymore. I got into college. I’m going to make something of myself. Now you go back to your sad angry little life, and don’t you dare harass anyone who works here again!”

(The man turns red, but leaves. The woman comes up to the counter smiling brightly.)

Young Woman: “Hey, you must be the new girl! I used to work here; just dropped by to pick up my last pay-check.”

(She notices my shocked expression.)

Young Woman: “I’ve been bottling that up for a long time. He shouldn’t bother you again.”