The Art Of Bluffing

Always consider the consequences of the bluff Think every outcome through. You threaten to drop a good business deal, you better have a real backup plan and be willing to accept the fact that your current deal is dead and you have to move on.

You have to be convinced of the bluff to be successful Believe in what you say. Always have a poker face. Always be confident. Your body language will give you away otherwise. Believe your bluff, if you want the other guy to believe it.

Keep the bluff simple The more details you give away, the more clues you're giving the other guy. You can bluff with backing and the other guy will still think you're lying because you're twitching like a little girl.

Use a bluff as the last resort You should always have your ducks lined up in order and your crap together, so there is never a need to exaggerate or lie.

Don't underestimate the other guy If he's smart, he knows his stuff too and he can tell when you're bluffing. Tell your boss you should be paid 50 grand because that's what everyone in your industry is being paid, make sure it's true, or he can pull out a bible of charts showing the industry pays 30 grand. Make sure you have something that backs up your point, no matter how weak your argument, or you'll look like a cafone.

So what did we learn boys? Bluff if you have to, but make sure you can back it up. Otherwise you're just a liar. And I hate liars.

Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.

Mr. Mafioso answers your e-mail

Editor's note: This reader's e-mail has not been edited and is presented as is.

I just want to let you that you are the most crazy mother f——r I ever saw online, and I love your style, and the minute I read your articles, you got another instant believer. I hope you know how many lives you're helping with your wise articles, I learned more from you than anyone else in the last 20 years.

Gracias Senor Mafioso, you the best.

Keep up the good work! Luis Hernandez

Dear Luis,

Thank you my Spanglish friend. You can take your tongue out my arse now.

Just remember to say a little prayer for me every night. This crazy mofo has done a lot he needs forgiveness for. This column is part of my redemption to society. Helping crazy Spanglish guys like you might get me into heaven after all.