Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

(I am cashing out a couple who is buying a laptop and some anti-virus software. We have a deal; if you purchase a computer, your anti-virus will be free for six months or $20 for one year. One of the store managers is coaching me.)

Me: “So, would you like six months of free anti-virus or one year for $20?”

Customer: “The guy back there told us it was $17!”

Manager: “No, it is actually $20.”

Customer: “SO HE LIED?!”

Manager: “Seems like he did.”

Customer: “I’M GOING TO GO BACK THERE AND KICK HIS A**!”

Manager: “Go ahead.”

(The customer, her husband, and I are all taken aback.)

Customer: “…Really?”

Manager: “Actually, let me go get him.”

(My manager leaves my register, and heads to our computer department. The customer’s wife is now laughing while the husband starts to sweat.)

Customer: “Is he coming back? I was just joking! I still want the one year. I’m sorry! I was just joking!”

(The couple quickly pays and leaves before the manager comes back to my register.)

Me: “Oh, we won’t be able to issue a refund unless you actually give us something to refund. When the item arrives, bring it back here and we can give you your money back, no problem!”

Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t give me a freaking refund! This is unacceptable! I bought the item, and you d*** well better give me my money back!”

Me: “Sir, I understand that you’d like to get your money refunded. Without giving us your item back, it’s like we’re just giving it to you. We can’t give you the money today, only to have you return here a few days later to give us the item back!”

Customer: “Well, why would I need to return here? I would have already gotten my money back by then!”

(It’s in the middle of December, in the Yukon, which is famous for its minus 40 degree winters. Our store’s heaters have failed. My coworker is under-dressed in a thin long-sleeve shirt. I’m wearing a heavy sweater, but I still feel the cold. Despite the weather, we actually have a customer come inside. We temporarily ignore our shivering state to help her out.)

Customer: “Hello, I’ll just take these for today.”

Me: “Alright, did you need a bag for anything?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m fine. You two look awfully cold.”

Me: “We kind of are.”

Coworker: “Our heaters aren’t working like they should be, so we’re kind of stuck.”

Customer: “Oh, well just a second…”

(We both wait as she rummages around in her purse. After a moment, she pulls out a packaged gel pack of some kind, and rips open the product right before us.)

Customer: “Here, try this!”

(Inside the gel pack is a metal button. She snaps it, and the gel pack hardens. To our surprise, it starts giving off a tremendous amount of heat.)

Customer: “This is one of those reusable hand warmers; they’re perfect for pockets!”

(My coworker and I both take a turn examining the item, appreciating the amount of heat it’s giving off.)

Me: “Wow, this thing is great!”

Coworker: “This has got to be one of the best things I’ve ever had the pleasure of coming across!”

Customer: “Well, you two have a good day now!”

Me: “We will!”

(The customer leaves without another word. We share the tiny heater until it runs out of heat. The customer even leaves the instructions, so we can reuse it again and again. We both appreciated her kindness, as it literally warmed our hearts that day. Thank you!)