Ever wondered what one should go through to become an Apple Genius? Wonder no more - the full and most up to date Genius Training Student Workbook got in the hands of Gizmodo, and there’s plenty of interesting and often even disturbing techniques that Apple Geniuses have to instil in their minds before starting the real work.

One thing that Apple is particularly well known for - and this is mostly attributed to former chief executive Steve Jobs - is something called the reality distortion field. Well, creating such a field seems like the exact intention of this training manual for geniuses. In an eccentric rundown of forbidden phrases, do’s and dont’s, and empathy techniques, the manual looks like more of a 101 course in psychology rather than a retail salasmen guide.

So far that approach has obviously worked wonders for Apple, so let’s see what drives those Apple Stores so successful. First, before becoming a blue-collar Genius, Apple puts its wannabe expert employees through a 2-week training course covering technicals like wireless networking to interpersonal training skills. It’s called the Bootcamp, and it’s sole goal is to immerse you in Genius Actions and Characteristics. If we had to summarize it, Apple Geniuses have to sell and consult compassionately and with respect. The focus? "Everyone in the Apple Store is in the business of selling," of course.

The one thing that goes like a red line throughout the manual is the word and concept of “empathy.” And it’s by no means sympathy where you would feel sorry for someone - Apple geniuses are instructed directly to NEVER apologize. Your iPhone shattered? "I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated," the Student Workbook dictates the words you’d hear from an Apple genius. It’s not the product that is wrong or has to be fixed, it is you, the customer.

“Customer: This Mac is just too expensive.
Genius: I can see how you'd feel this way. I felt the price was a little high, but I foundit's a real value because of all the built-in software and capabilities.”

But most interestingly, Apple Geniuses are told to never ever say certain words. If the average person would say that his iPhone or iPad froze or crashed (when and if that happens), an Apple Genius is simply forbidden from saying those words. “Unexpectedly quits, does not respond,” are the only allowed phrases. Instead of bugs, Apple Geniuses can feel “sorry” about “conditions” and “issues.”

Apple devices can never get "hot," they're at worst "warm" for Geniuses.

And if a customer is plain wrong, Apple instructs its employees to use the mild “turns out” phrase to correct them, as if they’d also just found out.

You think your iPad gets “hot?” A trained Apple Genius would correct you - it’s merely “warm” and never “hot.” Problems are also not “eliminated,” but rather “reduced.” Hit the source link below to get additional details straight from the source - sadly the full manual isn’t available, only screenshots out of it.

Finally, this is the kind of word engineering that makes wonders for Apple’s retail. Or maybe it’s just that tasty bitten apple logo on the back of devices. Whatever it is, so far, it seems to work great.

3.MeoCao (unregistered)

Bwahahahahahha XD so the "Reality Distortion Field" is not a myth that's awesome, usually on marketing I used to be told the "customer is always right" now it seems more on the lines of "the customer is always wrong" I knew "easy to use" was part of their equation too, if people are constantly told its "easy to use" even the hardest operating system becomes a standard of ease

5.MeoCao (unregistered)

Sadly, YES. Most Americans are way too dumb to learn anything and would just rather be told something.

This feeds right into apples hands.

Apple is the worst American company in the history of American companies, next to Bain Capital and Koch Industries. Apple doesn't innovate, they steal. The picked on Sammy because they were a soft target. The jury got the "instructional manual" on how to award apple something for nothing. It will be overturned on appeals.

Notice apple won't mess with Google, you know the ones who made Android!

nothing new. When had their virus problem they couldn't acknowledge it, help them force quit, or even give them help via their own forums. But apple isn't the only one, as most useless phone tech support companies do the same.

i'm actually saddened by the fact that an apple store is opening at the closest shopping centre to where i live and i've seen people point and stare. they really think we're that stupid or we can't think for ourselves. god i hate apple

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