Sunday, 11 November 2018

How to make a band-mate happy

Just to be clear the word "band-mate" refers to the idea of "mate" as in a buddy or
friend not as in a sexual act where we're trying to conceive a child.
1. Hug them. At least once a week, or every time you see them if not once a week.
Not only does this express affection for band-mates it also gives you the chance
of winning the prestigious annual CWM band hug awards, of which the current champions
are CWM. (Send in pictures of band hugs to the email at the bottom of the screen
to have a chance of winning).
2. If they literally only eat chips, only lightly make fun of that. They have their
own crazy reasons for not liking certain foods and it's not our business to judge,
or mock, or create blog posts that point it out so the world can see. However, light
teasing is more than appropriate.
3. If they have a beard, respect the beard area. Imagine there is a force field
around the beard preventing you from getting too close without permission.
4. If they play bass, act like it's a proper instrument. No matter what.
5. If they ask you to turn it down, do so. Then turn the amp back up when no-one is watching.
This way everyone thinks they're getting what they want.
6. If they play drums, act like they're a normal, proper human. No matter what.
7. Play in time.
8. Own some sort of vehicle.
9. Actually read the band WhatsApp group.
10. If after asking them to turn their amp down, they then secretly turn it up,
only hate them secretly.
11. If they say your instrument isn't a proper instrument, try not to punch them.
12. Bring snacks to Band Practice.
13. Don't live somewhere inconvenient.
14. Make fun of each other whenever possible. This way you will keep each others
ego's crushed.
15. If they're a guitarist, pretend they are as good as they say they are. No matter what.
16. Tell them when they've improved in some way.
17. If they're a singer, pretend the crowd love them. No matter what.
18. Get used to being in close quarters with each other. For the smaller,
sweatier stages.
19. If someone else asks you to join another band, rudely tell them no.
20. Learn how to play your instrument.