Posts Tagged ‘Bipolar’

It’s been a while since I’ve been on WP, I think I lost my writing mojo. I don’t know if this will be a one of post or the start of me getting more active on here again. Watch this space…or don’t, as I might not be on here again for some time 🙂

I’m doing ok right now…sooooo you know….that’s nice.

Anywhoozles the reason for this post. I got an email recently (pasted below) from the Spectrum Centre at Lancaster University regarding Bipolar Research. I’m taking part in it & thought it’d be a good idea to put the contact details on here in case any of you would like to take part.

Just email Barbara & let her know you would like to take part. I got a response the day after, so good luck.

I don’t know if this is for UK based people only, but if you’re an overseas Bipolarian (hmmm have I just invented a new word) contact Barbara anyway, as it might be an all inclusive kinda deal.

Hope you’re all doing well…if not keep up the fight.

ps

I’m not used to this new WP layout & I can’t even see where my notification & comments section is! For anyone who has commented, I’m not ignoring you, just ummmm trying to figure out where everything is 🙂

Spectrum Centre Email

Dear Spectrum Connect Member,

I am Barbara Mezes, a PhD student at the Spectrum Centre for Mental Health Research and I would like to invite people with bipolar disorder to take part in a research exploring personal recovery experiences. We are aiming to better understand the personal recovery experiences of people with bipolar disorder– not only clinical aspects, but also other improvements such as being able to enjoy social activities, get back into employment and having more control over your life. The study is exploring the different thinking styles, behaviours, activities and environmental factors, which can influence your recovery experiences, both long-term and in everyday life.

There are three phases of this study. Some phases of the study involve taking part in interviews and completing questionnaires, whilst others involve keeping a diary. It is up to you which phase(s) you would like to take part in, but we can discuss these in more detail before you decide to participate.

If you have diagnosis of bipolar disorder and would like to take part or find out more about the study, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I travelled up to the North East of England recently to see my wife’s parents. My wife (Laura) had travelled up a few days earlier, so I made the journey up in our car on my own. It reminded me when we were first dating & she was studying in Sunderland, whereas I was working in Liverpool. I’ve got fond memories of our long distance relationship. More so, considering most people seem to believe they don’t work.

I realised back then I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with any mental illness. So although I had suffered from, at least depression, I was blissfully unaware that was what it was. I never knew what I wanted to do, work-wise, back then, but I was confident I could turn my hand to most things. So I suppose my outlook was ‘the world is my oyster’ kind of thing. After just six months since I left Uni I had paid off my credit card debt on only £150 a week wage. I was confident I’d soon be in a job where I’d be earning at least the national average. At which point I would then start making repayments on my student loans. Meh, I never got there (there being the national average wage) in the end, but hey-ho that’s life.

It got me thinking of those ‘sliding doors’ moments in all our lives, where you think what if… My what if, is how would my life be different if I didn’t have a mental illness.

I know a lot of people say ‘I don’t believe in regrets. Everything in life has made me who I am today’. Which is fine, but come on, most of us have done something we regret & if we could change it we would. Personally I think it’s fine to have regrets, but the important thing is not to dwell & stew over them. It’s the past, you can’t change it so what’s the point.

This is an excerpt from my guest post on Where I Stand. Please pop over & check it out along with all the other great stuff on there.

“It doesn’t make sense to me that an illness of the brain has so much negative stigma around to it. Whereas an illness to the body is well, for lack of a better word, ‘normal’ and accepted. For me, it can only be explained through fear of the unknown.”

I’ve been pretty busy lately with one thing or another, but something I really wanted to get a post out about is Faces of Mental Illness.

I’ve been working with Laura SQ from Mrs Bipolarity & Laura P. Schulman from Bipolar For Life, on creating the real faces of mental illness. Initially it was in reaction to Brian Williams’ stigmatising negative comments on mental illness. He stated of Ariel Castro, who held three Cleveland women captive for a decade was the face of mental illness. So, here we have an NBC Anchorman claiming this repugnant man is the face for people who suffer from all manner of mental illnesses. Such comments from a public figure can only do harm to any organisations out there trying to educate people & reduce the stigma around mental health.

As mentioned, this was originally what prompted the two Laura’s & I to start Faces Of Mental Illness. However, I’d like it to continue & evolve to show how people who have mental illness are more than the illness itself.

We have created YouTube, Facebook & Twitter pages, all entitled The Face Of Mental Health.

Please show your support by doing any of the following…send us a vlog to mentalfaces1@gmail.com. We’ll upload it to the Youtube page & share it to Facebook & Twitter. Don’t worry if you’re unable to do this. I know I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing this a year or so ago. But please visit the pages & have a look at what we’re doing. If you like what you see please comment or like the respective pages. If you do want to show support, please share the pages on your own Facebook, Twitter & Youtube pages

Mrs Bipolarity recently wrote a post called Stigma Sucks Sunday: A Recap. Basically it’s about negative stigma spoken by people in the public eye. It got me thinking of ways we can make a change. So I’ve done a brief vlog inspired by one Mrs Bipolarity’s comments from her post above.

If you feel able, please follow suit & do your own brief vlog supporting the real faces of mental illness.

I met with H (my prick of a father) & P, the brother I don’t get on great with.

Harry is still in prison, but he gets a few days release every month to prepare him for getting out. We needed to discuss about him coming out, where he’ll live & what we do with the family home. I want to sell the home, as it would really help out me & wife financially right now. Add to that we want to have kids and can’t because of our finances just adds to the problem. Harry recently mentioned in a letter he doesn’t want to sell the house until the market improves, so we get more for it.

So when this came up at the meeting I put across my situation. What was his response?… ‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, you’ve got a lot to learn about life!’

‘Really, so killing your wife and ending up in prison is the way to go, is that what you’re telling me? ‘ He didn’t react well to that! He went on to spew vile shit about how he only snapped because my mum attacked him, she was a bitch who slept with all and sundry blah fucking blah.

So there I was sat in a fucking coffee shop, with him saying that to two of his sons, who he had murdered their mother. I was really wanted to drag him across the table & pummel the shit out of him. Thankfully I’m not my fathers son!

So he’s adamant that its his house, he will live there when he comes out & he alone will decide when we sell.

Stupid prick doesn’t seem to realise he can’t make any financial gain from the crime he committed. The mortgage wasn’t paid off on the house when he killed her. It was only paid off because of what he did. So I believe half is his and the other half is mine P and D’s.

I’m going to sort this out and force the ‘father figure’ to dance to my tune.

Damn I’ve ground my teeth more in these last two days than I have In my whole life.