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Nitram

Paths

May 4, 2015. I sat across my Senior Projects professor in his office. He had called me in to discuss some concerns he had with my project. Mainly, he was under the impression that I had pirated software, which I hadn’t. I showed him some exchanges I had with a rep at the software company, and he was convinced that I had done my project legitimately. I thought that was it, and I was free to go.
But then he leaned forward and told me he had something he felt was more important to discuss. He wanted to give me some advice, because he thought I was a smart kid, and he liked me. I had my doubts. I’ll never forget the words he said to me.
“You need to quit the bullshit with the fucking video games.”
I was taken aback. Sure, I had never hid the fact that I was an avid gamer; I’m proud of it. I even made a joke about it in my presentation for the class. Perhaps that’s what had set him off.
He was concerned that video games would ruin my life. He told me a story of a college colleague of his. He was unemployed, lived with his parents, and had no path in life. My professor told me he had two addictions in life: marijuana, and video games.
I was perplexed at what he was trying to tell me. I didn’t smoke, and while I did still legally live with my parents, I had an internship. I felt like I was doing alright for a student at my level. But he saw in me what he believed was an addiction. Something that would destroy my life. He wanted to light a fire under my ass, and put me on the right path.
It took every ounce of willpower I had to thank him for his concern and leave his office peacefully. I was livid. This was not a professor giving a student academic advice. I felt he had criticized me on a personal level. I told the story of the exchange to my coworkers, who were fairly successful in their field, and were also avid gamers. They scoffed at his ignorance, and told me to just let it go. But I couldn’t let it go. He wanted to light a fire under my ass, and he did. But not for the reason he was expecting.

Let's rewind a couple years.

When I first started watching TSG in 2009, I didn’t really think much of it aside from it being a bunch of friends playing video games for charity. It wasn’t until 2011 when I started to really appreciate what TSG was doing, and became a bigger part of the community. I remember after the Retro Pokemon marathon, Tyler began streaming Sonic Adventure 2. More specifically, Chao Garden. I was a big fan of the game, so I watched the stream and participated in the chat. We talked about Sonic, Warcraft, and Saints Row. He invited me to join the TSG guild (Nesingwary, Horde, now recruiting!), and from there I was invited to join the Ventrillo server. I made connections with the people who I thought were SO COOL because they were doing something amazing just by playing video games.
Around this time of my college tenure, people in my life began phasing out. My girlfriend and I had broken up, some friends dropped out, or transferred to other colleges in different states. I had lost contact with most of my high school friends at this point. I was also in the middle of a summer semester where I was living alone in a big apartment, so I was starting to feel pretty lonely. TSG changed that; I had all these friends in this community that I could talk to, watch and play video games with, and just talk to. Playing Age of Empires into the early hours of the morning were some of the best nights of my life.

In 2013, I was invited down to the December Zelda marathon. On the way to the airport, during the whole flight, waiting for Rob to pick me up, and the way to the barn; all these moments were TERRIFYING for me. The only people in TSG I had physically met at this marathon were Ruju and Local, and I knew how withdrawn I generally am around new people. But when I walked into the barn, and I was greeted by an excited Tyler and hugs from everyone, all my anxiety went away. It IMMEDIATELY felt like a family reunion. I had talked to these people every day for a few years, and I felt right at home.
When I returned home after the trip, I was near bursting with happiness. It was one of the most enjoyable weekends I’ve ever had, and my only regret was that I didn’t stay longer. I came home to a nice dinner with some extended family, and my mom was so excited and proud to tell everyone I had helped raise over $16,000 for charity, just by playing video games.

Over the next few years, my relationships within TSG only expanded. I’m proud to say that I’ve met my closest friends through TSG. College was getting rough at this point; I had failed a couple classes, I was struggling to find an internship (which I needed in order to graduate), and wasn’t sure I wanted to continue on the path I was on. I remember the support I received from TSG, who gave me the perseverance to keep going. I passed my classes, and I got my internship. When I left for my first marathon after getting my internship, my coworkers didn’t really understand, but I sent them the link to the stream and they were blown away. They were amazed at what gamers were capable of. When I got back, I was told how awesome they thought it was, to be able to do good things by having fun.

“You need to quit the bullshit with the fucking video games.”
Those words still resonate with me to this day. I can honestly say that I would not be the person I am today without video games, for better or for worse. I wouldn’t have the friends I have now, I wouldn’t have had the spirit and drive to graduate, I wouldn’t have the desire to not only better myself, but to make an impact on the world while I can.
And there’s nothing bullshit about that.