I hear this so many times in the group that I facilitate that I took the challenge last week.

“So,” I said after hearing an account of falling in which the caregiver and her husband with advanced Alzheimer’s both sustained bruises and bloody limbs. He fell into the front flowerbed and could not get up by himself. She reached down to hoist him up and ended up catapulted against a concrete wall when he proved too heavy for her to lift.

“If you had a sore tooth, you would wait until there was pus coming out of your gums and you were delirious with throbbing pain before you called the dentist?” There was silence from the eight caregivers in my living room. I continued, “You know it isn’t going to get any better by itself.”

It’s hard to ask for help. I know it so well. But when a loved one becomes more and more unable to help with transfers, when he is too weak and falls often, his caregiver is risking her own good health if she doesn’t make arrangements for assistance.

Honest caregiver talk Part 2 hits home. Listen to this chat to overcome that isolated, overwhelmed feeling. Rebecca asks such probing questions. I told it all. Try to forget what has changed. Don’t stew about the future. Focus on the golden moments. An inspiring estate sale around Mt. Tabor Park. An artist who left behind an ink and white paper drawing.

I returned a book at the library a few days ago and almost ran into a tripod at the front door. They have posted my Jan 14 book signing event. I hope it’s warmer than it is today on Jan 14 at 1 PM. It was 33 degrees last night here in the Valley of the Sun.

I had a title for my caregiver book long before I finished writing it. It was a title I was in love with because it was the center of my relationship with Rich. It was down-to-earth, direct, but with a hint of humor. It came from his words to me at the end of Chapter 10– “Hold My Hand, But Don’t Rub It.”

My editor convinced me that the real “ah, ha” moment of my book happens later in Chapter 17 (Last Call). And that is the title that made it to the cover.

I wonder what readers think. Do you like the current title “More Thank I Could Ever Know” or do you think “Hold My Hand, But Don’t Rub It” better?