“Just as you thought…” is a new mini series dedicated to those weary moments when fiction creeps out of a book and into real life. So here it goes:

I have this lovely hygienist at my dentist. I know she is lovely because I know her from outside the cold surface of the dentist chair. I met her a few years ago at our tennis club, both of us watching our sons play in the sunshine, but mostly in the rain. Standing side by side and drenched to our bones built some sort of friendly connection between us.

Her pale blue eyes watched kindly under a tidy fringe of blond hair. Never a word out of turn. Not a sign of impatience or bad temper. In short, a calm and pleasant lady to converse with whilst following the random trajectory of fluorescent tennis balls.

You can only imagine my sheer happiness at finding her waiting for me in the dentist room one day. What stroke of good luck! Finally an angel was taking care of my teeth! Well, just as I thought going to the dentist was now as pleasant as catching up with an old friend, her hands turned into steel and rubbery tentacles. Her eyes, which I’m sure had looked human as she stood by the tennis courts, let out glistening sparks, barely blinked and narrowed as the tentacles inside my mouth multiplied and excavated tunnels of pain between my teeth. Was it really my tennis companion warning me of demonic consequences of poor dental hygiene? What terrifying punishment awaited me at the end of my earthly life for forgetting to floss?

Sat in the dentist chair, unable to move, I thought at the wonderfully exciting Percy Jackson books, where the poor soul is attacked on a daily basis by monsters disguised as regular New Yorkers: his teachers, fast food sellers, owners of flower and plants nurseries, all turn into horrific creatures who try to rip Percy’s head off, eat him alive, burn him. You get the gist.

So there it goes: just as I thought some things only happened in books, I re-lived first hand Percy’s experience. A lady I once thought a heavenly creature was in reality the queen of pain, with the exception that my teeth looked beautiful and healthier after the attack.

Long live the everyday fiction monsters!

Did you ever have a “Just as I thought this only happened in books” moment? If so, drop me a line.

2 Responses to Just as you thought this only happened in books…

Just 6 (well 7) paragraphs, and you manage to tell us so much! The “queen of pain” — I think I’ve met a few of those in my lifetime in the doctor’s office! Our local dermatologist has a full staff of them — harpies all. Your post ends on such a nice bookish twist, opening out into the world of myth via Riordan. I really enjoyed it, though I’m sorry my enjoyment comes at your expense! My advice: switch dentists!