Friday, April 25, 2008

Through the use of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) TAnchorman has uncovered the original e-mail that led to the current tanker controversy:

Please help me.

I know that it may sound strange to receive an email from someone you do not know at all, but I am desperate to save my life and future that is the reason I took this bold step, made some research and got your contact. I have confidence that this is the right step toward the right direction.

My name is Cynthia Gabah and I am from Ivory Coast a country in West Africa. My mother died of cancer just after my birth and I have been with my father who refuses to marry a second wife all through.

Most unfortunately for me, my father just died in a car accident on his way to one of his Airbus airplane factories. After the accident, he was recovered dead and the burial ceremony was done properly.

My main problem now is that my father’s relatives want me to marry their uncle in order to secure my family wealth. They said that if I marry to an outsider, our family wealth will be taken to another people and that they will not accept. They said it is their right to preserve their family wealth and lineage. I refused because it is ridiculous for them to compel me to marry an old man of 71 years. Although I am just a young woman of only 20 years old, I believe I have the right to choose my own husband for myself.

Last month, they sent some hired assassins to kill me in our family house but as God will have it, I manage to escape that death and I ran away from our family house to a place that I am hiding presently to secure my life. This issue is serious.

Fortunately for me, my fathers company was given a US Air Force Tanker contract of USD$ 35 000 000 000.00 thirty five billion dollars that family members are not aware of. During the deposit, my father’s company had agreement with the bank that the money will not be given directly to me until I’m 26 years of age. Or if I wish to receive the money before my 26 years old, then, I must create a aircraft final assembly site in the US with a company that will stand in my stead and receive the money in his/her bank account.

Considering that fact that I am only 20 now and the present situation with my relatives, I humbly request that you stand as my US guardian and legal partner so that the bank will release and transfer the money to you. I will relocate to meet with you once the money is transferred to you so I can start a new life there.

Please come to my rescue immediately and God will reward you. I am ready to compensate you with 20% of the total amount and if you like, we can also go into partnership with my money.

I thank you for your time to read this mail and I wait to hear from you and until then, God richly bless you.

Yes dear readers, if only the spam blocker at a certain defense contractor headquartered in Los Angeles was working properly the fateful day this e-mail went out, we might not find ourselves in this current situation.

Let this be a lesson to all of you that the beautiful, hot 20 year old woman you met on the internet might just really be a bald 64 year old Frenchman named Louis Gallois.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Today I would like to reiterated what I have said on a number of occasions, I don't believe an ugly fight between Northrop Grumman and Boeing is good for America. It also misses the point since the true enemy is Airbus.

I am very disappointed to find that Northrop Grumman has decided to counter any questions raised about EADS by handing out fliers attacking its competitor and stating "Boeing has a long history of criminal misconduct".

Sweet Lincoln's mullet that's getting ugly!

Regardless of this attack, I have asked that Boeing not reciprocate by publishing their list of NG missteps because I believe it serves no purpose. As I have stated before, we all understand that companies have employees who behave badly from time to time. What makes EADS unique in this discussion though is that the French or German governments rarely hold it accountable when its actions are detrimental to the US.

“I think they [Boeing] are competition-averse, period,” Allan McArtor, chairman of Airbus Americas, told The Hill. He said the production of the commercial aircraft in Mobile will break Boeing’s monopoly in the United States.

Thanks for the aerospace industry insight Airbus, I'll be sure to lead with that story on the evening news.

Everyone I have a breaking news item, "Airbus hates Boeing and says bad things about them."

Humor Warning

Warning: This is a parody and humor website. If you do not find some comedy in the tragedy of giving EADS $35 billion of US taxpayer money please visit another blog.

Who Is TAnchorman:

By day I am a mild mannered San Diego newscaster and Anchorman extraordinar, but at night I am TAnchorman defender of classiness and informer of tanker facts in our nation's capitol.
I can be reached via my friends at TankerWarBlog:tankerblog@gmail.com

Note: TAnchorman, though spelled differently, is pronounced the same as Tankerman.

My Town

"Washington D.C.: it's the second greatest city known to man. Discovered by seafaring Ukrainians in 1813, they named it Washington...which of course in Ukrainian means a lobbyist’s armpit." - Ron Burgundy