DIRTY LAUNDRY: HIGH SCHOOL EDITION

So, to preface all this, I need to share that my parents made an agreement with me that if I made it through four years of high school without drinking, doing drugs, or having sex, they'd give me $1,000 at graduation

Ah, bribery; my parents' idea of parenting. They made the same offer to my brothers: my older brother passed with flying colors while my younger brother refused the deal, so we all behaved differently. I'm sure there is a great psychological analysis in there.

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So, first shitty thing: I definitely didn't hold up my end of the bargain (only stayed away from da sex) but I still took the money

I feel gross about this to this day. They had to know I was lying, but we just never discussed it and they cut me a check. The whole thing feels weird and I feel like it sums up my parents perfectly.

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Anyway, here's the "juicy" stuff

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I smoked pot for the first time in 9th grade while sleeping over at a friend's house and immediately ate two bags of Doritos.

Plenty of exposure to pot after that, but I was such a stereotype the first time.

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Spent most of junior year saying that I was sleeping over at a friend's house but I actually stayed at my boyfriend's house whenever his parents were at the cabin

We even parked my car at the friend's house in case my parents drove by. So sneaky.

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Drank for the first time at a girls weekend at my friend's cabin

Her mom was there supervising us and was very much of the mindset that she wanted us to learn about booze before heading to college. I still made stupid drinking decisions in college but I feel like it happened to me less than others because of this.

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Got detention and forged my mom's signature on the notice form so they never found out

I got in trouble because I went to get something out of my car during lunch. So rebellious, I know.

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Wrote fake notes for a dozen kids to get out of school to watch our wrestling team in the state tournament

I've been told I have very mature handwriting

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Stayed over at a friend's house but went to Wal-Mart at 3am because we were so cool

Our Wal-Mart was scary as hell, so this was actually a terrible decision

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Rear-ended a teacher while trying to get out of the parking lot

I was going like 2mph when it happened and since there was no damage, we just forgot about it and no one had to know.

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I wouldn't go to church with my family on Saturday night (I'd go out with friends instead) and then I'd tell them I was going by myself on Sunday morning, but I'd really go to Starbucks and read the paper

Not attending church was NOT an option in our house

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High school was a weird time. Looking back on it, I was deeply unhappy and made a lot of stupid choices whenever a guy showed interest because I was desperate for attention and a place to go that wasn't my home.

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Don't get me wrong; I made some wonderful friends who are still a big part of my life to this day. But I look back and I am incredibly thankful that things turned out as good as they have so far. I got really lucky.

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Maybe I'm wrong and everyone does stupid shit like this in high school, but I still cringe about a lot of my actions back then 😬