“Just Friends” after a Breakup- Possible?

From ‘Friends’ to ‘Lovers’ and from ‘Lovers’ to ‘Friends’. The former journey is what almost everyone goes through & the latter is what few relationships go through. It’s either when the parting has been due to reasons not involving any personal fight or when one of them is still not okay with the parting. But the point is – Is it really possible to be “Just Friends” after you’ve gone through a romantic phase wherein you were the most important to a person to a phase wherein you just “might” be the most important.

Let me analyze all the situations & give my point of view on each of them. If both the people are still very much in love even after the parting (which was not ugly but circumstances forced the parting); it would be evident in every form of communication & much more evident in every meeting. Both the people may not show it, but inside; there would be expectations and still a ray of hope. But still after a point, they can become very good friends who understand the situation (provided they’re mature enough) & are ready to accept the reality.

While if the situation is like only one of them is still in love & the other one has moved on; things can get very messy. The person still in love would have high expectations subtly which would be shattered each time if the other person has moved on completely. But if the other person still has some speck of feeling left or cares about the person, they may try to bring things to normal; but eventually each conversation would end in a fight or turn out bad. In this kind of a situation, friendship may survive for few days or weeks or months depending on how long both of them can take the turmoil.

And if the point is where both of them have moved on in Life, they would probably not want to be friends. Even if they plan to remain friends, probability is that it would cause a lot of turmoil in their present romantic life. There are high chances that the present lovers would have a problem with the Ex-es, considering there were flames with those people at one time & there will always be “uncertainty” in mind. People would call it lack of trust, but , at the end we all are humans & each of us carry a speck of jealousy & insecurity within us; no matter we accept or not. So ultimately, friendship is very difficult until there is a high level of trust with the present lovers; eventually, yes it may just be possible; if things aren’t awkward.

Lastly, there can be a situation where a relationship ended ugly & both the people or one of them still wants to be friends after a gap of time primarily because they are unable to move on. There is a possibility that the other person would simply refuse to be friends, another possibility is that they eventually become friends but it got to awkward. Somebody will get hurt, some past things might be discussed & brought in time and again. Things which end ugly are pretty hard to get a beautiful new start unless there is a mutual level of understanding & respect for each other’s decisions. Or until time has made them mature enough.

This is just my point of view & it’s not necessary that the same happens as I mentioned. At the end, everything boils down to 1 thing- Understanding & Respect for each other. It’s the level of understanding that takes one through the ugly fights or rather to maintain relationships. If you’ve been more of friends than lovers while you were in the relationship, it would be much easier to be back to friends again; not that easy, but yes comparatively easier. And if you’re mature enough, you shall never hurt the other person in the process of getting your lover or friend back. At times, it is best to leave situations on time or just respect the other person’s decisions, no matter how hard they be. You should always keep one thing in mind- You had once loved the same person, that one person was once your world & the way you behave with them after the breakup reflects on how you are as a person. If you keep this in mind, you shall never hurt anyone & your life would be at much ease.

I am sure everyone who has been in a relationship can relate to atleast one of the situations. Were you mature enough to handle it in a good way? Do give it a thought and smile if you acted the way you should have :-).

Random Thought– Life has much more to offer than you can ever think with all it’s “uncertainty”.

Like this:

Related

6 Comment(s)

“Understanding & Respect for each other.” is the key word. I completely agree to this. But i guess “Just friend” is a term. Love never dies and nor does the feeling..Just to move on with life we name it as –
Friendship

a really complete piece but i have to ask this. what if one party still feels indifferent about the whole break up and is reluctant to buldge? it makes the entire friendship process difficult.
i can relate very well with this post

Very well written…the most important point to be highlighted here is “The feeling has to be mutual”…otherwise it doesn’t work out..hats off to this line …”You should always keep one thing in mind- You had once loved the same person, that one person was once your world & the way you behave with them after the breakup reflects on how you are as a person. ”