The Sites We Reviewed:

The first thing Laura recommended was adding an opt-in offer to get customers on an email list. “Email is the most powerful tool of all social media for marketing,” she said.

Some sort of offer like free shipping or a discount is the best way to get their attention. “Something big and bold,” usually converts well Laura said, and it’s important to have it near the top of page or above the fold.

Laura uses Optin Monster on her own site and uses their Welcome Mat pop up, this allows you to keep scrolling while it’s on the screen.

She also noticed Michael has some of his Instagram images on the home page linking out to their Instagram account. Laura recommended taking the links out, he should be linking into your site and keeping customers there.

Key takeaways:

Add a welcome mat/pop up above the fold.

Collect emails in exchange for discounts.

Don’t link out to other sites on the homepage, even your own social media accounts.

Parcel Sentinel is a clean e-commerce site that sells a self-locking storage box for package deliveries. Ben has a good tagline at the top of his site that says, “Is the package you are expecting safe on your porch?”

Laura said he should use contractions to make his copy more conversational, so it should read, “Is the package you’re expecting safe on your porch?”

“Conversational is the new professional,” Laura said.

Ben also needs to update his copyright date from 2014 to 2018, and Laura said he should try moving some of the pain points he addresses higher on his page. People want to see benefits of products first, not features.

The message of what this site does was not clear enough for Laura to know what they are offering.

Looking at it as a resource to help people hold workshops, Laura said Michael could try a tagline that explains their services better, like, “Create and host your first live event, we’ll show you how.”

The opt-in was buried at the bottom of the site too. She suggested they bring the opt-in to the top and offer a free resource to improve conversions.

There is a note in the footer about the site having 70,000+ of fans. This can be good social proof but needs to be explained better. Where are the fans? Are they people that have been helped by the site?

Laura said the message of the site is not clear when she first landed on it. Is it training for people interested in learning about cybersecurity, or is this for people who are already trained in cybersecurity and are looking for a job?

She suggested a tagline like, “Trained in cybersecurity and can’t break into the field? We’ll help.”

The current tagline says, “Chat with a cybersecurity pro now,” which sounds more like tech support for when your computer is acting up. Laura said Patricia should change that to a uPivot Pro to put the emphasis on the team and what they do, not the industry.

She said they should add some copy near the top of the page to get the visitor excited about the service. Remind them why it’s worth it and why they should work with uPivot, also moving a testimonial to the top and adding some social proof will help conversions.

Laura really liked the look of this site and the image does a great job of showing what the site is about, although the picture was a little pixelated for us.

She said Jen should think about adding a call-to-action and an opt-in at the top of the page to help direct people where to start.

The opt-in that’s lower down on the page offers way too much as a lead magnet too. It’s a bit overwhelming. Laura said to simplify this with one offer, and consider laying out the over offers below for people to click through to other pages.

Key takeaways:

Add a call-to-action button.

Simplify the opt-in offer(s).

Send people to different landing pages depending on what they’re looking for.

Laura said this site makes it pretty clear what they do, assuming you found the site because you know what STEM is of course (science, technology, engineering, and math).

The images are not the clearest though. The main image looks a little old-fashioned, and the cartoon imagery throughout makes it confusing which age group the site is aimed at.

Ash should offer something more compelling as an opt-in too. Something to hook the visitor in like, “5 great STEM careers you didn’t know existed,” Laura said.

We both loved the great social proof section.

Key takeaways:

Make it clearer which age group the site is for.

Add a more compelling opt-in offer.

SideHustleNation.com

Yeah, I asked Laura what she thought of Side Hustle Nation…

She pointed out that my font doesn’t stand out against the brick on the home page image, and she said the font itself wasn’t quite “Comic Sans” but in the same family.

She liked the call-to-action on the homepage and the Join The Nation! Page. On that page she pointed out that the button could be higher up as a lot of visitors will know what a side hustle is and want to get to the point quicker.

She also said I could use more images and names of past guests on the show that people might know and catch their eye.

Key takeaways:

Move the call-to-action higher up on the Join page.

Rethink the structure of the below-the-fold content.

Consider a more prominent opt-in offer.

A huge thank you to all our volunteers!

More From Laura

Want more Laura? Check her out at TalkingShrimp.com and be sure to check out her free download, 5 Secrets to Non-Sucky Copy.

2 thoughts on “283: Your Copy Sucks! Website Reviews from a Professional Copywriter”

Laura- love the critiques, very insightful.
Nick – Thanks for intoducing us to Laura, but you should know your link does not work for http://www.whatwpthemeisthat.com. The link goes to a 404 page through SidehustleNation.com