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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What I Know About Love...

...that sometimes it is as much about restrain as it is about doing, actively giving.

Yes we often hear that love is a verb, that it needs constant expression to be sustained. But what if the most loving thing to do is to not do anything, to not be there, to just let go and walk away? In my age I've learnt that to withhold, control and contain is sometimes just as loving, if not more, than the natural tendency to give and give in. It can even be the greatest pain, anguish like no other, and that it calls for greater strength, a deeper kind of love. To see what lies far ahead and choose what is best for the 'loved', the 'other', even when it means death to the 'lover', the self, is a kind of love most of us don't see or want to acknowledge. It is uncomfortable to look at and even unacceptable to some minds. Some argue that it defies logic and when it does not make sense to them, it must be wrong.

But it is there and has as much right to be defined as real love as 'active' and 'present' love. In its seeming absence, its 'non-presence', it lingers, lives on and is honored by the fruits borne out of its very absence. If indeed the loved one thrives, finds happiness and grows, then this act of letting go and choosing restrain has done its work. A part of the lover dies so that the loved may find life and that in turn, breathes life back to the lover, the giver. It is a cycle too beautiful to not be seen as 'Love'.

As I've always said, love changes people. It touches the giver and the receiver and its transformative power transcends the tangible, distance, time and rationality. It can cause both unfathomable pain and joy, but in the end, what is endured is treasured. Even in times when love takes a form too incomprehensible to some, trust that it will always make sense when understood with the heart.

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Joy Page Manuel

I'm a FORMER academic & researcher; CURRENTLY a blogging mom; ASPIRING astrophysicist, gazillionaire philanthropist, and goddess; and undoubtedly a PERPETUAL writer, dreamer, hopeless romantic and overanalyzer. Welcome to Catharsis! You can click here if you want to learn more about me and this site. I'm looking forward to connecting with you and exploring our angst together!