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Monday, May 22, 2006

Washing Dishes, Again

What is it about washing dishes that causes me to ponder life? If you have been reading my blog long, you will remember another story when I caught myself singing a song and it took me to a place I wouldn't have expected. Well, it happened again. This time, it was so much more special.

As I was soaping up the pot in which the potatoes were cooked, I found myself again singing. This time it was the classic Joe Cocker song "You Are So Beautiful". If you have ever heard this song, it's what I would call a tear jerker.

I happened to look up and into our living room, and there was my daughter Rebekah. She was sweetly humming an unknown tune, and lovingly putting up toys that she hadn't pulled out. Man, it hit me. What a beautiful child. How blessed am I. God, I don't deserve to be so blessed. I felt an overwhelming need to hug and tell her how much her daddy loves her. So I did. I hugged her tight. I kissed her cheek and said, "Rebekah, Daddy loves you so, so much." Her response I'll never forget: "I'm so glad you're my Daddy." I squeezed tighter. I told her again that I loved her. I didn't want to let go.

Now, not many things bring tears to my eyes, but after that I boo-hooed. I wept almost uncontrollably on and off for about 20 minutes. It touched me so deeply. I wish I had the talent to describe what that felt like, but I have decided that it is absolutely beyond any words.

That wasn't all. Later, I hugged all of my beautiful children tightly as they went off to bed. Then, I went up to the girls' room to tell them goodnight. I kissed Rebekah and told her again that I loved her, and then she put the icing on the cake. She whispered, "You're the best Dad ever. I love you Daddy." How could it possibly get any better than that.

I don't really feel like I am the best Dad ever, but I want to be the best Dad I possibly can be. My children have been entrusted to me by my heavenly Father, and I don't take that lightly. Sure, I've had times when I messed up bigtime. Then again, I've also done some really good things. My prayer is, "Lord, make me the kind of Dad that you have been to me. Help me to have the same unconditional love for my kids that you have for me, one of your kids."

I get a picture of Jesus looking down and saying, "Bill, you are beautiful to me. You are my creation, and I love you. I love you in spite of your failures, your faults, your often wavering faith. I love you, and you are beautiful to me." How could I ever deserve that? I don't, and yet He loves me anyway. I hope and pray that my children ALWAYS know that I will love them no matter what, and they don't have to do anything to deserve it.