Social media aims to turn phrase #BeAMan on its head

You've likely heard the phrase "be a man" before. It's been used to mean many things related to male identity, or male gender identity: some of it positive, some negative, others prescriptive. Its definition is diverse, and has often divided.

But one clarion call heard often in the form of "be a man" alludes to strength: to be the caretaker of the family; to be the strong one those around you can count on for their support; to not let certain emotions weaken you.

A trailer for an upcoming documentary, called The Mask You Live In, calls out some of the most prevalent ideals encapsulated in the phrase "be a man" - don't cry; don't show weakness or pain; don't let a woman run your life; get laid.

Note: video includes strong language.

The Mask You Live In - Trailermissrepresentation2

"The three most destructive words that every man receives when he's a boy is when he's told to be a man," former NFL player and coach Joe Ehrmann says in the trailer.

As the trailer for The Mask You Live In spread online, several people on Twitter began to use the hashtag #BeAMan to highlight the complexities and problems with general perceptions of what it is to be a man, and the gender identity frequently assigned to it.

By teaching boys to #BeAMan we wind up with stoic adults who steer away from vulnerability at all costsDanielle

Instead of telling your sons #BeAMan, reassure him its okay to be human.zellie

One of the worst things you can tell your sons is #BeAManzellie

Some of the most common topics that arose out of the conversation were how the phrase narrowly defines boys' ideas of what kind of man they can or should grow up to be; the phrase's prevalence among black men and boys in the U.S.; defining "feminine" traits as undesirable in men and observing that teaching a boy to avoid those traits can lead to negative opinions towards women as well.

Teach young men and boys that Feminism has nothing to do with hating men, but the freedom of women to make their own choices. #BeAmanRichie Brave ✊

#BeAMan Because so many can't even compliment a friend without feeling the need to add "no homo"Danielle

@HarlemCam @zellieimani The problem with "stop crying like a girl" is it equates feelings, vulnerability, weakness with female #BeAManSkylar Baker-Jordan

It's not about how to #BeAMan it's about how to be a good person. Start there, and elevate our integrity above constructed gender normsOmar T. Woodard

So grateful for the top tweets on #BeAMan. The concept of masculinity is not just anti-women but harmful to boys & men as well.Mislav Marohnić

#Realmen let other men cry without ridicule or embarrassment. #BeAManTay Jota La Reina

Members of the LGBT community noted how the classical ideal of "be a man" marginalised gay men by labelling them feminine.

@Brandale2221 even by saying #BeAMan "should be" lofty ideals, is implying that its not. we all know what the terms means no need to hide itzellie

@zellieimani no worries. I am just apologizing for being so late & missing out on a Great discussion about false notions of manhood.Brandale Randolph

To me, #BeAMan means be yourself and be whatever kind of man you want to be.Johnny Horstman

Twitter user @revdaniel, an Anglican priest from Toronto, posted this photo and quote of Tony Porter from an April TED talk titled "A Call to Men." It became one of the most frequently re-tweeted image in the conversation.

This. #BeAMan http://t.co/24CdYc4rAARev'd Daniel

Tony Porter A Call to Menemilytaylorcenter

What do you think of the evolving conversation around the phrase "be a man"? What does the phrase mean to you? What do you think we should be teaching young boys about becoming an adult?

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