Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Innocence of Love

You really miss the innocent kind of love that has so often been associated with your awkward teenage years. You miss the shyly stolen glances, the contrived bits of conversation that usually centered around things that were so obviously unimportant, and most of all, you miss the innocent wanderings of the heart.

There was nothing hidden or malicious. There was no ulterior motive. It was just pure, heady emotion that drew you to someone else, and them to you. You weren't thinking of the future, or even about how well you matched each others' characters and personalities. It was just here and now. That's all that mattered. That's all you looked forward to. To that next meeting. The next time you could be around each other just because it was so special.

You always strove to keep it under wraps. Never wanted the class jeering squad to start making rhymes with your names in them. No. You just wanted to see each other. To innocently explore the boundaries of this new bliss. Not to tempt fate or incur anyone's wrath. Just to try and make sense of it. Trying to make sense of the fact that you never stopped smiling around each other.

What is this all about? You wanted to know. So, you tried to be near each other in public, idly staring at the bulletin board, standing a safe distance apart. Then, it was getting into the lunch line together, nonchalant as you like. There was also sitting within each others' line of sight in the audience at school tournaments. So you could see each other every single time you got up to cheer. Or every single time you got up.

Then, there was a time when you managed to both grab a book, any old book, and hide behind it. It was silly. And you tried really hard to pretend that you were reading in earnest. In plain sight. But reading turned to giggling. And this turned to fits of laughter. And you didn't know why. But it was good. And you both shared a moment. Your moment. Nothing to it. Just the exuberance of youth. Just being yourselves. Enjoying the moment while it lasted. That was all.