So a second basemen for the New York Mets, Daniel Murphy, took a two-day paternity leave. His wife was having their first child; he wanted to be there. It seems like a natural impulse. Paternity leave is newer than maternity leave but still an accepted practice.

No longer controversial. Part of our nation's framework of laws and customs. Everybody is doing it.

But because it happened in sports, it was controversial. It has to be remembered that the world of sports is like a Southern state. Most of its residents are very conservative. They don't choose to broadcast their opinions because any controversy would undoubtedly lose them fans.

Spectator sports in this country are all about the money. Politics takes a backseat to money. So you don't see that side of it much, but stuff leaks out. Homophobia in the locker room and all that. The public side of sports is all very politically correct, but that's just PR.

Take the Washington Redskins. The owner, Daniel Snyder, has refused to even consider changing the name, even though it's a racial slur. He says it's traditional. Even with the NFL bigwigs urging him to change his mind, he has not.

He did, however, suddenly fund a foundation that was supposed to help American Indian young people. How could you be against that? Well, I'm not against it, I'm for it, but I can't help but notice the hypocrisy. It wouldn't be the first time that charitable giving has had ulterior motives.

Commentators on the game, however, are less restricted in what they say, and many of them have opinions on almost everything. They are paid to have opinions; they are even paid to have controversial opinions. Controversy draws listeners. Nothing like a good heated exchange to drive those ratings.

Boomer Esiason, himself a former professional quarterback, said on radio: "Quite frankly, I would have said C-section before the season opens." Really? You think it's wise for other people to have medical procedures so they don't interfere with your life? Don't you think the woman, who after all is the one going through the ordeal, might have opinions of her own?

Getting a C-section is something to think about. It's not something you order from room service. Somehow, Esiason didn't pick up on that part. But then, women's health rights are under attack all over the country. There is a sort of blindness to them that afflicts the male psyche.

But the guy who really took after Murphy was a New York radio host, Mike Francesa. As reported in Deadspin, he went on a long rant against the second baseman. Here's an excerpt:

"What are you going to do? I mean you are going to sit there and look at your wife in a hospital bed for two days? Your wife doesn't need your help the first couple of days; you know that you're not doing much the first couple days with the baby that was just born."

He also bragged that he had gone to work on the day his baby was born.

First off, you don't attend the birth of your child because you want to help the mother. I mean, that's part of it, but in a hospital, there are experts doing most of the hard work.

But a mother needs emotional support as well. The guy had a part in the conception, a small part; now the woman does all the work. It's hard, and it is useful to have support. If a woman is having your child, you want to be around for whatever she needs.

But most of all, you want to be there because you want to be there. You are starting a family. You have some feelings about that. You have feelings of tenderness about the mother of your child. You want to participate fully in this family experience.

And sometimes, God forbid, things go wrong. Of course you want to be there in that eventuality.

Guys are not forced to feel that way; they actually do feel that way. Maybe not in the old days, but now. Fathers are stepping up. I wish that more of them were, just as I wish that domestic violence could be stopped, but I'm not sanguine about it, in part because many male institutions have not adapted to modern times.

Not talking about these attitudes will not make them go away. All the smooth PR moves in the world can't make that harsh reality disappear. Daniel Murphy did what a normal guy would do. He has his job, and he has his life, and he has put the two into an admirable but commonplace perspective. It's pretty ordinary - except, I guess, in sports.

Some more cluelessness about stuff in general coming from the radio.

When she next peeped out, the Fish-Footman was gone and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into jcarroll@sfchronicle.com.