Anger is a vicious cycle

Guest Blog Post by Robyn Wheeler 2/13/12Ridding yourself of anger may sound easy to some people however it takes a lot more than reading a book or taking a class to truly live anger-free. No one can do it for you, so one mustn’t look outside themselves for solutions but search within instead.

The biggest problem is that anger is a vicious cycle. Let me explain. If an individual is angry, odds are that person does not want to try anything new. They blame others for things that are their own fault and believe they know all they need to know. (I was one of these people for decades). If a person is unwilling to try new things and believe they “know it all” already, that person will miss out on trying the very thing that can rid them of their anger. If you don’t try something new you won’t get rid of your anger and if you are angry you won’t want to try something new.

In addition to that (if that weren’t bad enough) one angry moment leads to another angry moment. Anger doesn’t fix things, it just leads to more anger. Anger is like fire, it spreads if not put out quickly and efficiently. And there’s the cycle.

At some point, maybe when you hit your all-time-low or “rock-bottom,” you’ll be willing to do anything and everything it takes to move on, grow and progress as a human being. At some point, you’ll have to save your own life by being flexible and open minded. Keep in mind that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

One cannot make progress when one refuses to change. Many people do not like change. I say “Bring it on!” Change is necessary and you may even find you like the change better than “the old way.”

So if you are angry, wondering why you can’t shed those terrible thoughts and feelings, try, no rather, dare, to do something new. If it doesn’t work, try something else. But keep going, until you do find that one method, that one strategy that helps you live anger-free. Force yourself to break the cycle. It isn’t easy. Nothing in life worth fighting for is easy. But if you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way.

The exciting news about this concept is: one day anger-free will lead to two and two will lead to three and so on. Now I know that the longer I go anger-free, the less likely I am to get mad in the first place.

Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, a true-life story about dealing with a seldom-talked about mood disorder called Dysthymia. She is available for keynotes and workshops throughout the United States.

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