Author
Topic: "Free January" challenge (Read 4731 times)

changemylife

It is easy to overthink this, and the addiction invites us to overthink it. Overthinking it makes it complicated; complicated is difficult to solve. The addiction wants you to believe it is difficult to solve. It is not difficult; painful, yes, difficult no. It was easy to train our brains to become addicted because the dopamine response we get from using feels good. It is painful to train our brains not to get that response via porn because A) it does not feel good, as in it does not result in a dopamine high, and B) it hurts, because of withdrawals.

The simple solution of quitting any addiction is abstinence. Not using.

Day 3 of this challenge. Not using.

Thank you changemylife.

I agree with this. Obsessing about it makes it more difficult to solve. Quitting porn is definitely painful but we don't have to make it complicated because we know what we have to do.

Day 3 and still going strong over here as well. I faltered a little bit by searching these forums for stories that would spike my dopamine levels but I ultimately ended up disappointed. I feel better today.

Logged

switched_off

I'm late to the challenge, however having realised while I've managed successfully to break my porn habit, I continue to use Instagram for dopamine micro-doses. So I'm in - no Instragram surfing, no flicking through news articles just because there was a glam image. I need to give my brain a chance to get used to normal dopamine levels.

changemylife

I'm late to the challenge, however having realised while I've managed successfully to break my porn habit, I continue to use Instagram for dopamine micro-doses. So I'm in - no Instragram surfing, no flicking through news articles just because there was a glam image. I need to give my brain a chance to get used to normal dopamine levels.

That's exactly what this challenge is for: Staying away from ALL artificial stimulation. Only getting pleasure from normal things in life, not screens.

changemylife

Morning is a minefield for me. It's the moment when the urge to edge and fantasize is strong because it has become routine. The reptilian brain makes me believe I would feel amazing if I PMOed but I've been through this before and I actually didn't enjoy it. When I tell it this, it really makes it so believable that this time it will be different. This time the "high" will be better. But what about that depressed feeling I get every time I relapse and that interferes with the "high", making it weaker? This is the "thinking" part of me trying to beat the animal part down with a baseball bat. And I'm doing a good job so far. 4 days and still going. Overall urges have increased to, let's say 6/10. Still careful. Still following the plan like reading the manual.

Still "sober." Triggers are powerful things and they can come at the most inopportune times from unexpected directions. My ex-wife had hip surgery. Because of this she sent me a picture of her X-ray a month after the surgery. In the x-ray you can see the contours of butt cheeks, and it appeared as though you could see her pantie line (but she wasn't wearing any. Nonetheless, I was charged up most of the night from seeing this x-ray. I was so tempted to ask her to sext me a picture but I didn't. I think I had a 50/50 chance of actually receiving one even though she knows all too well about my porn addiction.

I know your pain brother. I wound up paying for Net Nanny to block porn on my devices and also to block Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest....etc. I would do the same thing but they eventually led me back to the path of PMO.

Quitting is about changing patterns. We have one pattern, then, we change, and we have another pattern. Today I am running (2K) and...not watching porn. I won't use porn today to jack my dopamine response system.

Day 4. Clear.

If you are reading this, and you have the problem, you can too. It will mean giving up something that you do not want to give up, but which has no value in your life.

Only you can answer the question: Is it better for me with P in my life, or better for me without P in my life?

changemylife

The brain is starved and begging me for any little micro-dopamine-rush. It pushed me to even watch a TV series and look at the girls there. It wants absolutely anything. Urges going up again, to 7/10. They're starting to bother me. I've had harder urges than this, I'm preparing myself to hit them in the following days.

Continued:

I had a moment of "I'm done with this, I will PMO cause it will feel good" but then I shook myself out of it. If I don't introduce my rational part in all this and let my animal part lead me, I will wake up after I've PMOed. I need to stop and think why I shouldn't do it. Urges fluctuate, going up to 8/10 then down to 7/10, even lower, throughout the day. If I understood one thing is that strong urges don't last forever. Also, images flood my mind like a river that just broke a dam. I have to keep brushing them away. It's how my brain tells me it needs anything for just a sip of rush. I look at normal girls and see PMO sources.

Day 5, no porn. Translation, no use of porn to achieve a dopamine rush. It is not that I don't like a dopamine rush, I do, but I realized that getting it through artificial sexual stimulation could be, and was, addictive and had negative consequences in my life. This is about humanity dealing with new tech. We are figuring it out. It is going to be OK. If you are a newbie reading this, take a deep breath and do not panic. Take some time to study the problem, and you will find a solution to it. There IS a solution, and the solution is simply not using P to achieve a dopamine hit. That takes time and effort; like studying for a test. But you can do it. Back tomorrow for day 6 clear.

Logged

changemylife

I've relapsed. For me, the challenge is a failure. I'm fucking ashamed cause I've started it. I gave in to edging. I feel like I could never beat this addiction no matter what. Don't listen to me if you want to recover cause I'm a shit example and I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I'm the guy who relapses once every 5 days, constantly. The porn junkie. That's how I should change my username.

Change it back man than get back up on your feet and try again I fought this for over 30 years I really got serious over a tear ago and it has taken me this long to finally feel I could win over it Keep coming here and take inspiration from the other fellows Were here to support you weather your winning or losing A reboot in not a straight line a curvy and hilly road with a detour is still going to get you to your destination

Post often it helped me it will help you

Logged

changemylife

Change it back man than get back up on your feet and try again I fought this for over 30 years I really got serious over a tear ago and it has taken me this long to finally feel I could win over it Keep coming here and take inspiration from the other fellows Were here to support you weather your winning or losing A reboot in not a straight line a curvy and hilly road with a detour is still going to get you to your destination

Pornjunkie. It is because you have not made the decision, and the decision, for guys like us, is incredibly difficult to make. I know. You are still trying to control porn. For a junkie, porn cannot be controlled. That must be accepted. Accept that you have no control over it. It is no tragedy. Your situation is not tragic. Porn addiction is not something that just happens to us, it is a trained, learned, conditioned behavior. It is not like catching a cold; we train our brains over years to become addicted, it is just that we do not understand that at the time. So, time to start understanding the way your brain works.

Accept that because you have no control over porn, the only way to have any control is to eradicate if from your life. Once you accept you cannot control it in your life, but are just giving it up, as in forever, impossible becomes merely incredibly difficult. You are a member of the alpha species on the planet. If you try, very hard, you will eat incredibly difficult for a mid morning snack. No easy way out, but, there is a way out. Quit the challenge, quit counting the days. The days do not matter if you are quit forever.

Logged

changemylife

Pornjunkie. It is because you have not made the decision, and the decision, for guys like us, is incredibly difficult to make. I know. You are still trying to control porn. For a junkie, porn cannot be controlled. That must be accepted. Accept that you have no control over it. It is no tragedy. Your situation is not tragic. Porn addiction is not something that just happens to us, it is a trained, learned, conditioned behavior. It is not like catching a cold; we train our brains over years to become addicted, it is just that we do not understand that at the time. So, time to start understanding the way your brain works.

Accept that because you have no control over porn, the only way to have any control is to eradicate if from your life. Once you accept you cannot control it in your life, but are just giving it up, as in forever, impossible becomes merely incredibly difficult. You are a member of the alpha species on the planet. If you try, very hard, you will eat incredibly difficult for a mid morning snack. No easy way out, but, there is a way out. Quit the challenge, quit counting the days. The days do not matter if you are quit forever.

It is incredibly difficult. Before you take the first step you have to have made the decision to suffer. In a sense, for a junkie, the decision to quit addiction is the decision to suffer. It is a hard choice. That pain will, eventually, lessen, and go away, and there is a morning in your future where you wake up and don't even miss it, porn and the dopamine euphoria it brings. But, between now and then, there is pain. Pain is the price we pay for freedom. Pay it, or stay in the chains. If you pay it, you will one day conclude the price was a cheap price to pay, in return for what you get. If you don't pay it, you keep your chains.

Logged

changemylife

It is incredibly difficult. Before you take the first step you have to have made the decision to suffer. In a sense, for a junkie, the decision to quit addiction is the decision to suffer. It is a hard choice. That pain will, eventually, lessen, and go away, and there is a morning in your future where you wake up and don't even miss it, porn and the dopamine euphoria it brings. But, between now and then, there is pain. Pain is the price we pay for freedom. Pay it, or stay in the chains. If you pay it, you will one day conclude the price was a cheap price to pay, in return for what you get. If you don't pay it, you keep your chains.

You know, one of man's biggest fear is the unknown. With this addiction, I have no idea when the pain ends. I don't know how much I have to wait and how much withdrawal with urges I have to go throw. But you're right. If you never start, you never reach the finish.

Do the hard 90, and dedicate yourself to it. Don't use porn for 90 days. Plan on suffering and plan on avoiding the dopamine rush from artificial sexual stimulation. Think of the hard 90 as training wheels. By the end, if done right, you won't need them anymore to ride that bike. Are you going to wreck it a couple of times? Maybe, but no one forgets how to ride the bike.

Logged

changemylife

Do the hard 90, and dedicate yourself to it. Don't use porn for 90 days. Plan on suffering and plan on avoiding the dopamine rush from artificial sexual stimulation. Think of the hard 90 as training wheels. By the end, if done right, you won't need them anymore to ride that bike. Are you going to wreck it a couple of times? Maybe, but no one forgets how to ride the bike.

That's right, man. I've calmed myself down a little bit from how pissed off I was after the relapse, now I can think more clearly. Alright, I will commit myself to the hard mode. After all these years of artificial pleasure, I can't avoid the pain. I just want to end the circle of: Suffering (urges) -> Relief (relapse) -> Suffering again. I might as well go through the suffering once and be done with it than encountering it every time. I can't believe I let the edging throw me down today.

I'm in, I have not used porn for couple of years now, but every little incentive helps to keep on the straight and narrow. I am currently trying to swear less too, so I am going to add that to my free January. I think swearing as much as I do, especially at work, harms my character, I think it lessens peoples respect of me. I also think it quite a immature thing to do and is kind of another addiction I want to leave behind. For me it means maturity and personal growth. I want to bury it with my porn addiction.