Why i'll never spend the rest of my life in china...

This is my first post of the New Year. As many will have noticed from reading my blog entries, I enjoy my time in China immensely and show a lot of enthusiasm for learning about the culture and its people… all 1.4 billion of them! I enjoy the hospitality that the majority of Chinese people give me and I also enjoy the never ending excitement that you have of living in a fast developing country like China. However, I am also very honest about some of the things I dislike about living in China i.e. Many Chinese people appear to show no consideration or regard for people outside of their family or Guanxi (social network) circle. This is something which I have a big problem with as it doesn’t take much to hold a door open for someone, say thank you or wait until you have left an elevator before lighting up a cigarette. Of course, not all Chinese people are like this and many Chinese people will often scold others for behaving in such a manner, but still these are behavioral practices which happen often and I do have problems accepting them.After living in China for over four years there are some things I have still found myself having problems dealing with and it is for these reasons that I would never spend the rest of my life here. I would say one of the main things that I don’t like and something which I have wrote about in a previous post is the level of distrust and dislike the Chinese have for their own people. I have problems dealing with this because I find it to be totally and utterly untrue when people say things such as ‘Us Chinese people are all selfish’ or ‘Us Chinese have no common decency.’ I also wonder to what extent will this high-level of distrust manifest in the future. Having volunteered and worked as a manager at a local soup kitchen feeding the elderly, disabled and homeless residents of Xi’an, I can whole heartedly say the comment that ALL Chinese people are selfish is complete nonsense as the vast majority of volunteers are Chinese themselves. However, people will often just disregard my comment by saying ‘You are a foreigner, you don’t understand Chinese people.’ I would like to think that in the future as the country develops and as corruption levels hopefully reside, people may begin to show a higher level of trust towards one another.Another reason that I will probably never spend the rest of my life here in Xi’an is that no matter how much of the language and culture I understand, it is pretty much going to be impossible to integrate. The term Laowai (Foreigner) is something that you will hear on a regular basis and it is a constant reminder that you are never going to integrate into society and are always looked upon as an outsider. Of course, the Chinese people do not mean any harm by this and to be perfectly honest the term Laowai doesn’t particularly offend or bother me that much compared to some foreigners who get all up in arms and bitchy about it. The term Laowai is actually a term of endearment and is not meant to offend. However, when translated it means Lao=Old / Wai=foreign. The term Lao is used as a sort of prefix to put before someone’s name as a sign of endearment, so if you have a good friend who’s surname is Wang, you would call them Lao Wang = Old Wang. However, the term ‘Wai’ means ‘Outsider’ or ‘foreign’ and works as a small reminder that they do not really view you as a member of the community. Even if you have a child of mixed race with a Chinese passport, you will often hear your child being called ‘Xiao Laowai’ = ‘Little Foreigner’ or ‘Hun Xue’ = ‘Mixed blood’.Chinese people do not really mean anything bad by the previous terms and they are often meant as signs of endearment, with the ‘mixed blood’ thing actually being a term of privilege and uniqueness. I often find that these names they give, especially ‘Laowai’, is more to do with the idea of how they view themselves and other countries. Very much an ‘Us and Them’ mentality.

Another thing I often have problems with in China is the sense of entitlement and arrogance that many rich people seem to have. Of course not all rich people, but quite a large number. I always carry the principle that each and every person deserves a rudimentary level of respect (within reason) and whether or not someone earns $2,000 per month or $20,000 per month, I always try to give them the same level of respect. My main principle in life is that I prefer to judge people based on their character, or ‘素质’ as the Chinese prefer to call it, rather than the size of their salary. What I have found in China with many who possess money is that they tend to look down on and show very little respect for people in menial work i.e. supermarket workers, security guards or street vendors etc. I had one Chinese security guard that I would often talk to, say to me on numerous occasions ‘You are a good person.’ I’ll be honest I found this kind of weird but it was later explained to me that because I showed him a rudimentary level of respect, greeted him and engaged in nonsensical small talk, he felt valued. It was the security guard himself who later explained to me that lower educated people such as him who work as security guards or taxi drivers are not respected in China. That’s when it dawned on me that even something as meaningless as small talk which I would class as nothing more than general politeness can literally make a person’s day.It would be rather foolish to say that all of middle-upper class China doesn’t show any respect to those in lower positions of society. I’ve met many successful people in China who carry with them a high level of modesty and courtesy towards others. However, I have also witnessed the reason why people say that waiting in restaurants and bars is possibly the worst job in China as I once saw a woman punch a waiter in the face because she was made to wait for a seat during the busy period. The difference is that in my opinion if someone is arrogant and believes they have a right to talk down to others because they possess more wealth, then surely they should get called out on it? However, If I called those people out here in China they would almost certainly lose face and I have to remember that I’m a foreigner who’ll be immediately outnumbered. Therefore, it’s wise to be careful.

This chubby little rich guy hired out a water park for the day so he and his girlfriend could go on a private date. He apparently ordered all of the staff to salute both him and his girlfriend whenever they passed them. It is due to this that many regular Chinese citizens resent the arrogance of the nouveau riche.

This is the final thing I want to speak about in relation to things I find hard to tolerate in China, but it is without a doubt that the blatant and in your face corruption in China is something I can’t tolerate. There are a few reasons why I have problems with this;

1. Like all countries around the world, corruption is carried out by people in positions of trust and power who should be working towards serving the public, as opposed to the small interests of their social circle.

2. The amount of money which moves through corrupt practices and has no tax or duty paid on it is huge. Just imagine the people who would benefit from those taxes going towards the development of a welfare system; Parents of disabled children, disabled adults, care homes for elderly people living on the streets, more education scholarships could be made available for impoverished yet talented young people, care and support in the community etc.

3. Children who are raised in these circles of corruption will likely grow up to believe that this kind of thing is normal; of course they will know it is wrong, but will likely think it is acceptable. I feel that these people will later repeat this behavior in later life when they have been groomed for future positions of power and as a result the cycle of poverty and corruption will continue.

4. It also threatens social stability when it creates a huge surge of anger and uprising amongst the have-nots of society.​Of course, since living in China for the past four years I have witnessed that Xi Jin Ping’s clamp down on corruption appears to be having some effect. I remember just over a year ago, when working in my last school, when the international department tried to give the school principal a gift for mid-autumn festival. As is custom in China you give gifts to people in positions of authority as a gesture or during festival time, which probably is why battling corruption is an uphill struggle. However, the principal went against the custom of accepting our gifts and told us that she couldn’t take it. We stressed it was just a gesture since it was a Chinese festival and we kindly asked her to accept our gift, however she point blank refused and said that she couldn’t. When asked why she told us that due to Xi Jin Ping’s ‘Caging tigers and Swatting flies’ anti-corruption campaign, she was scared in case accepting our gift could result in a rumor about her that would eventually have her fired from her position. Clearly the anti-corruption campaign of the past few years has been having an effect, especially when one considers that luxury items such as imported liquor and expensive cigarettes, items that were formerly used as bribes, have seen their sales plummet. Many Chinese have told me that people in positions of power are now fearful and are more careful towards whom they deal with and what gifts they accept.

So, those are the reasons why I would never spend the rest of my life in China, of course there are other things such as high pollution levels, but the previously mentioned are the things I wanted to speak about at some length and give details of.

Now, the title of this entry was also about why I would never spend the rest of my life in China or the village where I was raised. Without further ado let’s move on to my roots!

To begin with, I was raised in a small coal mining village named Horden which at one point was a rather prosperous place with a thriving industry that also helped to serve the other local businesses in the area. However, just as I was born in 1984 the miners’ strike was underway and within a few years the local coal mine had closed as well as many of the local businesses in the area which had contracts with the National Coal Board. This included, but was not limited to, stationary suppliers and engineering companies. As well as the companies with contracts, the other local businesses such as grocery stores or car dealerships were also hit hard as many people couldn’t afford to buy much and had to sell their vehicles to pay bills and then eat at the local soup kitchen. In fact I still have a pink teddy bear that was kindly donated as a christmas gift by the French miners during our national strike.

I look at old photos of the village I was born in and I see a thriving village with green grocers, cafes and other businesses doing a roaring trade. I even remember when I was very young in the late 80’s and the amount of bakeries and other businesses which would be open was unbelievable, nowadays however they are all closed and boarded up. Whether or not this is entirely due to the miner’s strike is debatable, as I do believe that the development of supermarkets has also created a lot of competition that many small businesses just simply can’t compete with now.

An old shot of my village from when the coal mine was still in operation.

Growing up in the village where I come from wasn’t necessarily bad and from my younger years I have some very fond memories. Playing football on the field and playing on my friends Super Nintendo on an evening are memories that I still carry with me. However, things are always much simpler when you are a kid and in many ways this is due to the lack of responsibility when compared to being an adult. It wasn’t until I got older that I began to have a strong desire to venture out of my village and explore other places in the world The places which came to my mind and would always fascinate me were Hong Kong, Tokyo, The Rockies of Canada and Los Angeles to name only four. Basically I wanted to go anywhere which was entirely different to the place where I grew up and where I would see people of all different skin colors and from all different cultures.When I began working it was dreadful. The moment I began working I had this feeling that I was always going to be stuck in the village where I was born. I’ll be honest; the place where I was born does have deprived areas, which I guess is much the same as any other village, town, city or country in the world. However, I would honestly say it is a nice place to raise a kid; it’s quiet, house prices are reasonable, it has a small community and crime is relatively low. Of course people always complain and speak about the ‘good ol’days’ but most of that is just bullshit nostalgia in my opinion.I had a lot of miserable times in my late teens and early twenties working menial jobs. I worked in construction sites, factories and warehouses and it wasn’t before finally realizing this wasn’t the life for me I decided that I had to make a plan. I decided to go to University at 24 and then at 28 after graduating with my masters I immediately left the country and came to China. I was happy to finally get out of the village where I came from and although my family and friends are still there, I have too many bad memories from that place which would prevent me from ever returning for good. That bridge has been burnt.I went home for Christmas recently and I met up with an old friend who told me he began a new job with the local council which requires him to move around the villages of the county where I come from. He told me he loves his new job and he loves living in the village where we were born and to hear someone love where they are and love what they are doing was quite warm and touching. Most people complain incessantly about their jobs and their lives but it was nice to hear someone speak about how happy and content they were with their life situation. As I said previously the village where I come from is quite a good place to raise a kid etc, but for me I find it too mundane and closed off

This was a small monument erected in the local park called 'marra' (Marra means 'friend' in my local dialect). It was erected to pay tribute to the mining heritage of my village and if you look closely you can see the miners heart has been ripped out, possibly a visual metaphor of how the village feels after the closure of the coal mine.

I’ll always look at the village where I come from as my home but it isn’t exactly somewhere I could spend the rest of my life. To begin with, as may be expected with many small towns or villages, these places can be quite backward when placed in juxtapose to larger more cosmopolitan cities. People tend to be rather conformist with everyone carrying uniform (and often ill-informed) ideas on how the world should be ran and how people ought to raise their children etc. Just looking different, having different ideas and listening to music which is a little different can often be met with confusion and hostility. I remember the first time I went back home after my first two years in China and people were just amazed at the fact I had lived in China for two years. Some of the questions I got were just based around general curiosity in relation to my life out here, whereas others were just damn right bizarre ‘Do they have fish and chip shops in China?’ Of course these questions aren’t necessarily a bad thing and are asked out of curiosity, but I believe it comes down to a lack of exposure more than anything else. Of course, people where I come from have travelled and of course they do know stuff about the outside world, after all I wasn’t born in Pyongyang! However, many people when travelling will never really integrate into a foreign culture. Travelling for two weeks to a country and drinking in British and Irish owned pubs can barely be compared to living in a country on the other side of the globe, with an alien culture and then interacting and communicating with people in a language which is not related to your mother tongue.How have I changed living in China for four years? Well one thing for certain it makes me more patient and open minded. Dealing with the huge amount of paperwork in banks etc and the time it takes to get fairly simple things done means you have to be extremely patient. Banking in china is actually quite cumbersome. Obviously the aspect about becoming open minded is something which will naturally come if you leave your comfort zone and interact with local people in China, which I’ll be honest is something many expats never do. I’ve met foreigners who have lived in China for 15 years and can barely speak any Chinese and will only mingle in foreign circles! Living in a developing country with a developing transport system will make you more patient, but interacting with local people and analyzing how they do things will without doubt make you more open minded. Of course you may not always agree with how they do things and at times there may be a hidden logic behind it, but it is always good to pay attention to what these people are doing and see if you can learn something or at least try to understand why.Where will I end up in the future? To me, home will be in a country with a culture which is similar to the one I grew up in and where I feel like I can be part of a community. New Zealand, Australia, US, Canada or even back in the UK are all options for me. Of course I would assume in countries like the US for example, the people and the culture have their slight differences to the UK, but it is something I doubt would be entirely alien to what I was raised in. Overall, where I will end off is something I haven’t decided yet, but it is something that certainly needs consideration as I’m no longer a young pup and I need a plan.