Browsed byMonth: August 2017

Emotional Disclosure

Sadness, joy, anger, surprise. Emotions are a natural part of human nature. Humans are wired with chemicals and connections which allow us to feel and react to life’s events.

Positive and negative emotions are an inevitable part of a cancer experience. Sometimes, it can be beneficial to share our emotions because it alleviates some of the stress of attempting to hide true feelings.

Even though it can be helpful, it can also be challenging for some people to disclose their emotions or feelings.

Practice Emotional Disclosure

Reflect on 3 experiences in the past few weeks that have felt overwhelming or had a lasting effect on your overall mood.

Choose a person with which to disclose these three experiences. Often it will likely be a spouse or person significantly involved in your current struggle.

Tell your partner something similar to the following statement:

“I have something I have to get off my chest. For these things, please try to put yourself in my position. I hope this helps you gain an understanding of what my experience has been like. For this, I would like for you to just listen without problem-solving, reassuring me, or giving advice. This is just for me to get some emotions out which have been difficult for me to keep in.

With as much detail as possible, describe your 3 experiences from the last few weeks with pauses to give your partner chances to respond or ask questions. Be sure to include both the story and the emotions involved in your experiences.

If you are able, offer chances for your partner to share similar experiences.

This research project was funded by a grant from the National Cancer Institute (CA144235; Dr. Wayne Beach, San Diego State University, Principal Investigator). Co-investigators included Dr. David Dozier from San Diego State University, and Mary Buller, Dr. Valerie Myers, and Dr. David Buller from Klein Buendel, Inc.

Strategies for Positively Coping with Cancer

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.*

See a situation in a positive light. For this coping strategy, instead of focusing on the negative aspects of a situation, reframe it and consider positive outcomes. This is a common technique used by people who have a serious illness or have suffered a loss. Often individuals unconsciously do this by comparing their situation to others who seem to have it worse.

Kathrine Bellamy joined support groups and became very active in the pediatric brain cancer community when her son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Part of the reason was to stay informed and connect with people who could understand how she was feeling. Another part was to track her son’s progress against those of other children. He responded well to surgery and treatment. Other children did not. Eventually, her participation in the cancer community took an emotional toll. Even though her son had two years of tests showing he was cancer-free, her personal involvement in other children’s lives amplified her fears about her son. She worried the cancer would return and that he might die. Her husband pointed out that her involvement in the groups, which had helped her at first deal emotionally with her son’s cancer, was now making her feel worse.

While comparisons may help a person cope with their cancer or their caregiving role, having another person make that same comparison is likely to backfire and be perceived as insensitive. Denver resident Diane Martin shared a story about a breakfast she had with friends. The conversation turned to recent losses the group had suffered. One woman was getting a divorce. Another woman’s teenage son had died in a car crash. Martin’s husband, Nate, had also recently died from multiple myeloma. One of the women told Martin that at least she could get a new husband but a child couldn’t be replaced. Deeply hurt, Martin abruptly left the lunch. …

Riding Cancer’s Emotional Roller Coaster

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.*

Anyone who begins a cancer journey is likely to step onto a rollercoaster of strong emotions that can vary dramatically from point to point along the way. Patients, family members, and friends will experience many different feelings ranging from frustration and powerlessness to joy and affection after a cancer diagnosis.

Emotion can be thought of as the “bedrock” of the communication skills. How a person feels and how they control those feelings will affect how they deal with conflict, what they disclose and their level of respect, trust, and empathy for others. This article looks at the role of emotions and provides tips on how to manage feelings to better cope with cancer.

Emotions on a Cancer Journey

San Diego resident Tim Hayes had a lot on his plate when he received his testicular cancer diagnosis. A 37-year-old college professor with a full work schedule, he had custody of his two young children, and a summer teaching session planned in Africa over the summer.

However, near the end of spring semester, strong abdominal pains made him visit his doctor, who gave him several medical tests. Before the results came back, Tim traveled to Canada for a professional conference. But he felt miserable. He couldn’t eat. He was exhausted. He spent much of the conference sleeping in his hotel room, which is where his doctor tracked him down.

Tim asked if the diagnosis would interfere with his summer teaching plans. It would. He was told he needed immediate surgery, followed by chemotherapy and radiation treatment.

This kind of news would completely devastate some people. Others might be paralyzed by fear. Tim, however, immediately began planning for the future – a future he believed would be cancer free. He tied up loose ends, spent more time with his kids, and was determined to be healthy enough to teach again in the fall.

“It was symbolic of beating the cancer – that’s how I spent my summer vacation, but I’d be back to work in the fall,” Tim said.

Tim took a very practical approach to dealing with his cancer and maintained a positive attitude. Not everyone would react this way. Emotions play a significant role in how individuals interpret a situation and resolve it. Emotions also influence a person’s attitude and behavior. …