Deirdré Straughan on Italy, India, the Internet, and the world

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day: my least favorite “holiday” on the calendar. Because not every mother has been an influence for good in her children’s lives, let alone a saint.

Every culture wants us to believe that bearing a child magically makes a woman into an angel of infinite goodness. This is not only ridiculous on its face: it puts a heavy burden on mothers to live up to an impossible ideal of endless patience, endurance, and nurturing that is, frankly, beyond the capabilities of any mere human. Most mothers have done the best they could, within the limits of their situations and abilities. Sometimes that best was great, sometimes it was not so great, sometimes it was terrible (and sometimes they didn’t even try).

If you have or had a great mom, thank her for trying to be the best mother she could be. But stop with the “mom is everything good and wise and noble, an angel sent down from heaven” crap – that’s a projection of your own ideals and desires for a mother, not what a mother actually is.

The best gift you can give your mom on Mother’s Day is to accept that she’s a human being, with her own needs and weaknesses and failures – just like you.