The true story of four North Perth residents and their quest to dine in every restaurant on Beaufort Street.

23 June 2008

Peking Chinese Restaurant

A good friend of the Bloggers said he was an expert in all things related to the Peking Chinese Restaurant. Apparently, he grew up quite close to the restaurant and he and his family visited it on an almost weekly basis for close to 10 years. He never claimed it was great Chinese, and he did mention that it had been sold to new owners since he last went, but we had thought the frequency and longevity of his and his family’s visits implied that the Peking Chinese Restaurant would be a reasonably good place to eat. Turns out though, that the Peking Chinese Restaurant is about the worst place on earth to eat, or at least the worst place in Mount Lawley.

The Bloggers were excited to have Stinky along for his first foray into the blogging world (we couldn’t claim it was his first visit to Beaufort Street, because he’d already partaken in several coffees and plates of eggs on fire down the road at Cafissimo). Stinky was a saint, we heard barely a peep from him as he slept like, well, a baby. If he could talk though, we think he would have been complaining loudly about the quality of the slop served up to us that was meant to be Chinese food.

First a note on the décor. We were actually kind of enamoured by the unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant. The wallpaper was so old that it had done the full fashion circle and now looks like a Florence Broadhurst print that would retail at around $400 a roll. The dark red carpet combined with the luxurious gold Chinoserie style wallpaper, some elaborate gold and red tassled lighting and the fact that the restaurant was divided into small separate rooms gave us the feeling we were sitting in a high class 1930s brothel. This feeling didn’t last for long though, as when we had a close look at the restaurant’s counter we realised we were firmly planted in a unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant.

The counter was a delight. It involved your usual 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant counter, but with the inspired addition of a giant golden dragon head on one end, and a giant golden dragon tail at the other. The Sponge was really quite taken by the counter, and found it hard to peel his eyes off it all night. He wanted to take it home and fashion a bed for Stinky from it, which, we all agreed, would be the finest bed a young man could have.

In terms of the food, we ordered a large array of deep fried goodies to start – prawn toast, spring rolls and fried squid – as well as a serve each of San Choy Bow. While we were waiting for our entrees, we were delivered a plate of exactly 6 prawn crackers. And they were so old and limp and lifeless we could bend them in half. When the entrees arrived things didn’t get much better - the prawn toast lacked prawn, the spring rolls were just edible, the fried squid forgettable and while the San Choy Bow looked fabulous, it failed to deliver on the flavour front.

We chose the typical dishes one would order in an unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant – honey king prawns, Szechwan chicken, Mongolian lamb, roast duck and chicken chow mein. The Szechwan chicken had a bit of a kick to it and made our noses run ever so slightly, but we could not taste the rest. Like the San Choy Bow, everything looked great, but just had no flavour to speak of. The sizzling dishes were suitably sizzling, the prawns sufficiently plump, the lamb was sufficiently fresh but nothing was sufficiently tasty. It was incredibly bland food.

Nevertheless, we enjoyed our evening as we drank wine from miniature unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant wine glasses and admired the beauty of the counter. As we were wrapping things up at the restaurant, and wrapping Stinky up for his trip home, it occurred to us that we hadn’t seen a member of the staff for the last half an hour. We waited and waited, called out, rung the bell, slapped the dragon-bench and did everything we could to attract attention to settle the bill but no one appeared. So we ended up doing a runner.

On the way out The Deliberator needed to use the facilities. Until he saw the condition they were in. They seemed to be built in a bomb shelter sometime during the war and have not been upgraded since. We will try and get a photo up soon.

(Note: we didn’t really do a runner.)

In summary:

Service: Largely unavailable.

Food: Unbelievably tasteless.Ambience: Like a sleazy b-grade film noir set.

Highlight: Stinky’s impeccable behaviour.

Lowlight: The absence of chilli, garlic, ginger or any other discernable flavour in the food.

Rating: 1 chopstick out of 5.

Will we be back? Shit no.

Details: Call them on (08) 9271 8505. It wasn’t as cheap as we would have expected, and we paid about $40 per head for 2 courses and corkage (we did over-order though).

Coming up: Hanami is next on the strip, but we may back track and tackle some takeaway joints we skipped earlier.

14 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Dear BSBers

We took your recommendation on 3rd Ave Cafe, and had a very impressive dinner there this week. Pity that the signature duck dish had sold out - one for the next visit. We told them we'd come because of the review on your blog. Since you'd emailed it to them, they knew all about it, and were really pleased it was generating interest, apparently we weren't the first to mention the BSB.I will also be taking your recommendation about Peking seriously - I've often wondered about it, now I need wonder no more!

We are very pleased that you enjoyed your meal at 3rd Ave Cafe, and thanks for mentioning the blog! We would like to add that we emailed 3rd Ave Cafe after our review, and would never tell a restaurant that we were coming beforehand.

There's absolutely no need to visit Peking, unless you like your Chinese food to taste like what you should eat if you were convalescing.

Hi BSBersWould just like to say how happy I am about what you are doing, having just moved to Beaufort st and now getting reviews on every restaurant on the strip, which is very exciting for a foodie like me. I am looking forward to when you dine at Richie's Carribean restaurnat which I think is coming up soon. Visited there a few years ago with past work mates and have to say it is the worst dining experience we have had. We had a large table which i think may have added to the dissapointment. It took hours for the food to arrive...about 3 if i remember, they ran out of many dishes and the cockroaches in the very dirty toilets was a bonus. However one highlight was being able to get very drunk while waiting for our food and having an unforgettable night that we still talk about today. Just thought I would share that with you and will eagerly wait for your review.

Hi anonymous - we were curious about Peking too - it did look so promising, yet it clearly failed to deliver.

Hi sarah - Richie's is still a while away, but we will certainly get there. You're night sounds hilarious, I hope ours is half as entertaining! Thanks for reading the blog and welcome to the neighbourhood.

Somehow I sort of knew it was going to be how you describe, but nurtured a hope hoped that its tackiness would hide a heart of gold. I like the sound of the dragon counter. Must put up a link if you add a photo of that or the toilets. Like the blog very much. have been walking the street from the city to Bedford recently so must keep up with you guys.

Richie's apparently has been sold. The dead ficuses at the entrances are a sickly clue. I tried to use my Entertainment Book voucher, only to get a dismembered (and disenfranchised) answering machine message.

Love the sound of Norwegian Eggs, will try and get their this weekend. Soto's very cool, with amazing coffee, but a couple of disappointing brekkies have put us off. Having said that, we haven't been since the brekkie menu was updated, so we'll keep an open mind.

You might ask why I'd venture in after reading this review but we were tired after a long day and just wanted to go somewhere different and easy and when I'd last been there years ago it wasn't that bad - and we already been to our current local favourite (Fitzgerald Seafood Chinese Restaurant) just a couple of days earlier.

The young man who served us was helpful and friendly which was a good start, but the prawn crackers didn't appear to have improved since the blog review.

The rice was quite a stingey amount considering how so many restaurants just give you a whole bucket regardless of how many people are eating, but bad feelings were quashed on the arrival of the duck dish which was really good. The sprouts were suitably coated with the right amount of oil bringing a delicate soy and ginger flavour to the crunchy bean sprouts which contrasted well to the shredded duck meat and spirng onions and regular onions that were mixed in. A well executed dish that had great flavour and texture and that you definately don't expect at the average suburban chinese. There were a few bits of capsicum also floating around in it which I don't think were necessary but I'm getting picky.

The sizzling prawns came with the usual hodge podge of roughly chopped vegetables - onion, capsicum, celery, zucchini(!) - but it was nicely cooked and tasty - although a bit sweet for our liking. It had been ordered for Master 4 though - we could have orded the XO variety if we'd preferred.

The baked fish was deep fried rather than baked but it was quite a tasty morsel although perhaps a touch on the dry side. The crispy skin was a delight and the flesh came away easily from the bone. The scattering of suburban chinese vegetables and 1 piece of broccoli that accompanied it was perhaps unnecessary but we thoroughly enjoyed polishing this one off.

The toilet was dark but at least it smelt clean and the bill came to $53 which included a coke and a pot of tea. The tea btw was nice and strong - and not the watery stuff with a leaf or two floating around in it like some places do.

Beaufort Street Bloggers

It has been a long held tradition for the Beaufort Street Bloggers to eat together on a Thursday night. After all, Thursday is the new Friday. To spice up Thursday night dining in 2008, a unanimous decision was made to eat at every restaurant on Beaufort Street, starting from the top of Inglewood and working our way down to the city. There will undoubtedly be some lowlights (think Dial-A-Chop-Stix and the Civic Hotel), but there is a whole bunch of good food around this part of town. The rules are simple, to qualify, a restaurant must have room for us to sit in and be open on Thursday nights. This blog documents the results of this lofty challenge. If you want to contact the bloggers, please email beaufortstreetbloggers [at] gmail [dot] com

So who are the Beaufort Street Bloggers?

The Deliberator

World renowned (he has excessively deliberated over menus the world over, to the chagrin of many a waiter), the Deliberator takes pride in his ability to frustrate even the most tolerant of wait staff, let alone his long suffering fellow Beaufort Street Bloggers.

Reflecting on himself (in a positive light as always), the Deliberator lists his favourite past times as pork belly, champagne cocktails and falling asleep on other people’s couches. Upon review of what lies ahead of him in the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge, the Deliberator remained focussed on the year ahead, stating only that he was glad there were going to be a few budget Thursday nights ahead, as he has already committed 3 months wages to the purchase of a ring from Tiffanys for a certain pixie haired blonde within the team.

Despite still harbouring a love of vegemite on toast from his university days, the Deliberator prides himself on his culinary prowess and exacting standards. He has declared 2008 the year he not only finally drives a waiter to suicide and/or mass murder, but also establishes himself as the West’s answer to the Lygon Street gangster, tipping that before the year is out the name “Deliberator” will be spoken with hushed reverence in cafes and restaurants the length and breadth of Beaufort St.

The Brains

Aptly named because she is indeed the “brains" behind the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge and also, because sometimes she just seems so smart the entire team prefers that she orders for them, the Brains is a complex character – lawyer by day, avid restaurant reviewer by night and frustrated interior decorator for pretty much all of the time in between.

The 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge came to the Brains whilst on her 7th glass of champagne just after Christmas 2007. Throwing caution to the wind, she drained her glass, slammed the table and declared to all and sundry in a rather agitated voice “2008….2008 we’re doing it. We’re starting at the top and we’re not stopping til the end!” Upon seeing the puzzled stares of those around her , the Brains went on to explain in more detail that what she meant was that 2008 was the year she and her fellow diners would begin at the top of Beaufort Street and eat at every eating establishment before the year was out. Needless to say her fellow team members were yet again left reeling at the sheer genius that is “The Brains”.

The Brains is also the long suffering partner of the Deliberator, having accompanied him on his most recent overseas expeditions to restaurants throughout Europe and Asia. Amenable in nature and blessed with the patience of a saint, the Brains only has to see a Tiffany & Co. advertisement to remind herself that one day, one day very soon, it will all be worthwhile….

Bito (Bun in the Oven)

Reformed party girl whose previous mantra was “Thursday is the new Friday”, BITO is currently at the 24 week mark of an alcohol free sentence known to most as pregnancy. Whilst BYO and corkage are no longer of concern to BITO, it is testament to her spirit and commitment to the team that she has committed herself to the 2008 Beaufort Street challenge in the role of designated driver.

Even before eating for 2, BITO was a committed fan of various Beaufort Street establishments and did not have to be asked twice when contacted by the Brains with regards to the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge, stating only that there was no bloody way she was doing Jackson’s degustation menu sans alcohol.

Married to “The Sponge”, Bito is renowned in the team for her new found patience and tolerance of drunkards in her automobile.

The Sponge

Standing at the immodest height of 6 foot 4”, with size 14 feet, the Sponge has an appetite known to send many a kitchen into a flurry and a capacity for alcohol that has seen more than the odd sommelier rubbing his hands in delight.

Responsible for BITO’s current plight, the Sponge sees 2008 as the year he becomes a first time father yes, but more importantly, the year in which finally establishes himself as force to be reckoned within the Beaufort Street precinct.

When asked what unique attributes he thought he brought to the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge, the Sponge declared that whilst he preferred to think of himself as a bit of an “all rounder”, he did think his world class background in spaghetti marinara and a capacity to calculate corkage in the blink of an eyelid were going to prove invaluable to the team in the year ahead.