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Hi guys.... No time to post. Just figured someone would have started a new thread by now... so I did it again. I don't want to monopolize that job... so please feel free to jump right in and do it any time we have 28 or more posts.

I came in to remind all of you fellow American Idol fans that Oprah is about American Idol today. I am going to go watch it. I just LOVE that show ... not as much as Tina loves Tony but I love it a LOT.

I probably won't be back until tonight. After Oprah I have errands to run and then tonight I sit my big butt in front of that TV from 7-8 pm. LOL

Well, I had an epiphany of sorts today as well. I was thinking about how each person's eating choices and lifestyle needs to be ajusted to their needs and not necessarily the needs and guidelines of others. For example, yes....I know it is a good idea to not eat after 8:00pm. I know calories not worked off will sit and turn to fat. Not eating after 8:00 is a great idea when I'm working and I have to get up the next day. However, when I'm not working, I like to stay up late...sometimes till 2:00 or 3:00am. If I cut myself off at 8:00, I'm getting hungry late in the night and if I start eating, then I feel bad because I've went past the "8:00 rule" and that leads to more eating, and then I just say, "Well crap....I'll just go ahead and blow it." So, my epiphany is: Design the program that best meets your needs. Just because something works really well for others, doesn't necessarily mean it will work well for you. So, on the days that I'm off, I'm going to allow myself to eat later in the evening, but no later that 12:00. Usually, when I'm up late, I exercise anyways....so it usually all balances out.

I have found when I try to cusomize my eating program based on what another person has done or is doing, it doesn't always work. As long as you stay within eating guidelines, you drink you water and exercise, I feel a little juggling (time-wise) will not hurt you, but will help you in the long run.

It's not perfect, but it has helped me.

I'll be back later....kids are hollering for dinner. What's a Mom to do?

Now is when I need you all more than ever. My family is falling apart! Not my immediate family, but my Dad, Brother, and Grandparents. You see, my Mom left my Dad 2 yrs ago and that was a big shock and a big hurdle, but we got through it well now she is getting the divorce and it is getting nasty. Well my brother was the one thing that I could count on to hold what little bit of family we had left together. Well I tried to sell him a car and it turned out he wasnt interested and then he changed his mind and I said just forget it, it was too much hassle and now he is mad at me. My Dad hasnt called me in a couple of months, I just feel like since my Mom divorced him that the rest of them divorced me because I still talk to my mom and dont want to hear them put her down, but what they dont know is that I tell her the same thing, I dont want to hear bad things about them. We Just had a huge fight, (my brother and I) And now I feel like everyone is really going to blame me. I am just very sad, , frustrated, and dont know what to do. Please help.

Deon - sorry you are having family problems. I'm really not of much help since my parents are still married and I haven't had to go through a divorce. All I can do is offer to listen. Feel free to come here and vent about all your frustrations. We will listen and offer any advice that we can. Maybe just being able to talk about with someone who isn't biased will be a help to you.
Tina- I like your epiphany as well. How true! What works for some doesn't work for all. Do what works for you.
I decided to call out of work tonight. I'm just feeling a little tired so I want a night to relax with the family since I don't have off again until Saturday and that is only because I have a wedding to go to. Well I'm going to veg on the couch before getting the kids in the tub. I think I might haveto take a bubble bath myself tonight. Sounds good to me.
Steph

Deon, I can only speak from my own experience with my family of mixed nuts about what has worked for me. It took a long time, but I have finally realized that my 3 brothers, my sister and I are all grown up now. What they do, unless it has a direct bearing on my family, (dh and kids) is their own business. I will not get in between any one that is fighting, and I will not take sides, it isn't worth it. As for my parents, I love them, but they don't come first...my husband and kids are my #1 priority. A lot of tears and a whole lot of guilt brought me to this point, I'm on good terms with all but one, and I just don't have much to do with him. If I see him, I'm civil...but it's like we're acquaintances...If I dwell on it, it makes me sad that my brother and I have come to this, but he's made his choices...my sister, on the other hand, HATES him, and just keeps that hate alive and it's making her miserable. I try to convince her to just let go of all those negative feelings, but...that's a whole other story.

Another thing I've observed, but have never experienced firsthand...NEVER borrow money or buy/sell something, like a car, from a relative! At least not mine!

Sorry, that's the best I can do...I hope it all works out for you.

Tina...you smart cookie! Don't you love when the light bulb comes on and...VOILA! YOU GET IT! I have to fiddle around with my meals too, working nights. I try not to eat too much before bed, in the morning...breakfast is mid-late afternoon...etc whatever works, right?

I was going to share my own epiphany with you, (must be something in the air!) but I have to scurry off to the gym. I'll tell you when I get back!

Today was spent redecorating (yes again )--I decided since I had so much open space in the bedroom to move the computer and its desk in here, along with the smaller TV (it has the cooler remote ). It actually looks a lot better!

The chair I had in the bedroom got moved to the living room, being it is blue, it matches the blue flowers on the sofa cover as well as the blue lamp (I love blue!) The bedroom is blue, pink and white with light furniture, the living room blue and ivory with darker furniture. I am rather pleased with myself (Just think of all the exercise I got too )! Plus the maintenance man is coming with new blinds for the living room tomorrow.

The winds have finally died down to 15-25 miles an hour--still breezy, but not as bad as it was over the weekend and yesterday. The rain is gone too--going to be NICE tomorrow!

Tina-Two words about adjusting our plans to our individual needs RIGHT ON! Every person is different; I tried the "nothing after 8:00PM" rule and I ended up either waking up ravenous in the middle of the night, or nauseated the next day. So I do have a little snack, whether it be fruit, a Snackwell cookie or two, a boiled egg, or my bowl of Special K Red Berries. They kill the hunger without giving me heartburn!

Deon-Sounds like you are going through a terrible time. We are here for you at any time. Hang in there

Sandy--LOVE those rules from the Male Side! Typical guys

For the rest of you, glad to see your posts, especially you 2Cute--you always crack me up at one time or another!

Good Evening Ladies!!!
Stopping by to see how everyone is doing!! I had a pretty good day --- got out of work at a decent time, exercised while watching the Oprah show which I recorded, had a nice healthy dinner -- even ate at the kitchen table, watched American Idol and now I am winding down and about ready to hit the hay!!!

Sandy - I got a good laugh at the list of rules. It's sad how many are true!

Tracy - Congrats on another good day! Did you get a scale? I am finally glad to have a good one. I bought the digital Tanita - it weighs to the .2 of a pound. The old dial scale was so hard for me to read correctly! I try to weigh myself only once a week but sometimes I can't help but hop on in the morning just to see....

Michelle - I am going to have to try the Philly Swirls next time I buy my after dinner treats. Right now I have the Acme low-fat creamsicles in the freezer --- Yummy! I imagine the Philly Swirls may be a local thing - not sure. Sounds like you still aren't feeling great --- maybe some chix noodle soup? Hang in there!

2cute - I watched the Oprah show today as I walked on the treadmill. It was fun to see the behind the scenes stuff -- those kids sure do work hard. What did you think of the show tonight? They were all great! I have been leaning towards Ruben all along, but really liked Clay tonight. Next week should be good - I'll be gone so I'll be setting the VCR.

Tina - By golly - you've got it!!!! You've got to figure out what works for you and stick with it! That is what has really got me going with my change of lifestyle --- I am no longer listening to what everyone else does and says -- I am gathering as much information as I can and finding my own way. You are really getting back on track!!! Way to go!!!

Deon ---- {{{{HUGS}}}} I am so sorry you are having a hard time with your family! I don't know what to say, but it looks like you've gotten some other supportive suggestions!!! I'll be thinking about you and hoping things are looking up!

Steph --- oh - a bubble bath sounds so good!!! I hope you had a a relaxing evening.

Kat --- I'm glad to hear you are heading to the gym again tonight...but I can't wait to hear your epiphany!

Lori --- my, my you've been a busy little girl today!!! It's so much fun to rearrange and decorate things --- they feel new all over again.

Well, gals - I think I am going to head off to bed. Sweet Dreams to all! Talk to you tomorrow!
Barb

I was outside, doing some gardening today. I have a large flower bed in front of the house, about 4-5 feet deep and maybe 12 feet wide. There are some shrubs and some perennials there, but I leave room up front to plant annuals each spring...begonias or marigolds or petunias. With all the rain and snow we've had, there are LOTS of weeds going strong already, not to mention all the maple "whirlybird" seeds ALL over the place. I stood out there today, totally overwhelmed, not having a clue where to start and thinking, "I will NEVER get through all this, there's just TOO MUCH to do!" Then I thought of my friend, Flylady, who preaches, "You can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes!" As overwhelming as any task can be, whatever you can accomplish in 15 minutes, WILL make a difference. After the time is up, you decide...maybe you'll say, "That's it! I'm done!" and it's OK ~or~ you may think, "Well, that wasn't too bad, maybe I can do just a little more!" (Generally, you'll want to do a little more because you are so pleased with the results that you got in only 15 minutes!

You following me so far? Hang in there...

Okay, so there I was, down in the dirt. I figured that I would just concentrate on one small area at a time...maybe a foot square. Well, how hard is it to pick a few weeds out of such a small area? No problem! I had my bucket with me, in which to toss the weeds, and my little claw to turn the dirt over after I cleared it...As I'm moving through the bed in this way, (cheerfully because it's not hard to work such a small area)...I HAD AN EPIPHANY! I realized that the huge flower bed is like the amount of weight that I want to lose. Sometimes it is just utterly OVERWHELMING to think in terms of how much need to be done...I could stand there and moan about how hard it's going to be, or how long it's going to take, or how it'll just come back anyway...~OR~ I can gather my tools, concentrate on just getting started, and take one little step at a time... I also realized that it's okay to make mistakes! As I tossed out something that I planted last year that didn't make it through the winter, it occured to me that...well, if the low fat thing doesn't work well for me, maybe the low carb thing wlll! (so far so good!) I will throw away the perfectionist attitude! So what if I don't lose 10 lbs the first week? Am I moving in the right direction? Am I doing what needs to be done to get the job done? Then that's all I need to know. The rest will follow.

So I will "water my garden" and "feed it well" and I will be patient...

WOW !!! All of these great words of wisdom coming out of everyone.
And what do I write ...... "mosey on over and pull up a stump and spit " ...
It is a wonder you guys let me hang out in here. LOL

Deon... my heart goes out to you. I hate conflict among family and friends.
And I used to always try and solve everyones problems and point out all of the different view points to make others understand what the others felt. BUT... I finally learned... it is their life and their decisions and I don't need to add my 2cents anymore.
I have always played the role of "savior" and "peace maker".
Well ... in doing that... I was losing myself and my own peace.
I now "force myself" to stay out of it. I still "want" to save everyone... but I no longer do it. If they want to hang themselves... I let them.
And there is NO WAY I get in the middle of divorcing couples... be it family, friends or posters. I know it is HARD on you... especially being your parents. But they are grown adults... and so are your siblings. Make the decisions that are right for YOU and YOUR family and if others don't agree.... that is okay too. I like the motto.... "I am not doing this to hurt you... I am doing this to help me."{{{ HUGS }}}

Barb... I enjoyed Oprah but not like I do the REAL SHOW.
Weren't they GOOD tonight. All three should stay but I know they can't. Reuben's last song was so good. But I thought Clay was definitely the best overall tonight. It is going to be soooo hard to watch tomorrow night. I love all three.

Lori... I have been rearranging all day too.
I bought a new curio cabinet (Mothers Day gift) to put some of the glassware and keepsakes that were my parents. They delivered it today and I can't find a home for it.
I have tried several locations and it just doesn't fit in. Grrr
It matches my new bedroom furniture more than my living room furniture... but I don't have room in my bedroom for it.
My taste in furniture is changing somewhat.
I think the problem is... the new cabinet I bought is beautiful... and my old living room furniture IS NOT. LOL
I guess I will just have to buy ALL NEW FURNITURE.
Just kidding... my husband would KILL ME first. LOL

Okay ladies... I am gone for the night.
I have TON or work to do. I have emptied ALL of my cabinets and shelves rearranging and now I need to go put them all back together again. It will probably take me two days to get it all put together again.
The funny/sad thing is.... Everything is going right back where it started.
I ended up only moving one love seat. Geezzzz I waste a LOT of time with indecisions.

Well, I'm really proud of myself. I did a really good job shopping and my daughter and I had fun. We did eat at McDonald's and I had a cheeseburger and fries with a real pop. (I normally only drink Diet Pepsi, problem is I hate Diet Coke and won't drink it.) It was only a small pop though. It was a lot less than I would normally have eaten, but I was satisfied so I didn't go grocery shopping feeling deprived and hungry.

We started in the produce section and loaded up on yummy vegis of all sort. Then we hit the meat department, and since I didn't have my hubby with me I didn't buy any red meat. We got a few canned goods (I always build a bit of back up fruit and tomatoes for when I'm out of fresh) So we had a pretty good shopping trip. Here's one piece of advice I try to follow when shopping that is to shop mostly the perimeter. That is where the produce, fresh meat, dairy and bread departments are. The food in the middle of the store is generally more processed so you want to avoid the center as much as possible.

Well, so it went really well. When I got home I was really tired, what with the two hours of driving and listening to the constant chatter of a four year old and my hubby wanted to know what was for dinner. I wasn't sure what I wanted to make, so as I was unpacking he saw some roasted turkey I got in the meat dept. and had the deli slice and he decided sandwiches sounded good. (At least it wasn't that hard.) I chopped up a bunch of vegis so we had turkey sandwiches on whole wheat bread with sprouts, tomatos, and onions, tomato soup, and red pepper sticks. He complained about all the vegis, but I was proud of myself. I love vegis. ( I used to be a vegetarian) My daughter was a kick too, she was eating the vegis up almost as soon as I could cut them. She can be a real inspiration. She loves apples, so I got a big bag of apples and that and some yogurt was what she wanted as a snack on the way home. So I had a bottle of water and an apple too. I was shocked that I felt so full after just one apple too.

So overall, I'm happy about the trip. There was the McDonald's thing, but I can live with that!!! I could have done so much worse. The whole trip was a step in the right direction. So I still don't have time for individual replies right now, but I promise I'll catch up with everyone tomorrow. Tomorrow night is chat too, isn't it? See you ladies later.

Thank you all for all your support. I really needed that. I am doing better now, my brother and I will get through this, we talked and I think we are good for now. He is the only one in that side of the family that has even tried to keep the family together and stay in contact with me and we are real close so it hurts alot when we are not talking or getting along. As far as my parents, I think 2cute said it, "they are adults". Well I just wish they would act like it. I try to stay out of it but they just seem to always drag me into it. My Mom seems to think she has to keep me informed of the whole divorce and every move she is making and I could care less, I dont want to know anything about it. and then my Dad well he does the same thing, thinks he has to tell me every move she is making and how mad he is and how she is just screwing him over and I really dont want to hear that either. But how do you tell your parents to shut up and leave me out of it? I tried that with my mom once and boy was it a mistake, I didnt hear from her for a couple of months and if I did it was just very cold. And my Dad I tried to tell him I didnt want to talk about it and he got all defensive and said I was just taking her side. See what I mean I wish they would act like adults!! And then my grandparents, his parents, he is an only child btw, and they have always loved my mom and treated her with nothing but respect and now all of a sudden they hate her and my grandma can be a very mean woman and all she does is tell me how she is sooo wrong, and my grandpa, well call me petty but I am afraid he will cut me out of the will, he has never liked anyone but the only way he shows he cares for his family is by including you in the will so it is very bad if he cuts you out, and he has the deed to our house, which is promised to us and I am afraid of being put out of a house, and cant afford rent at this time, since we havent had to pay rent in 10 yrs. So do you all see my dilemma?? I am very screwed up and so is my family. I think you are all right though I just need to concentrate on my family and we are doing well right now and I want it to stay that way, so I wont let this get in the way of my happiness.

Once again thank you all for listening, I really just needed to vent, and boy did I.

I used to post over on the WW100 thread - well have for almost three years - and its dying out. I used to post with Thin and J-Ann. I have to admit, I've been lurking for awhile because you gals seem to have such a good group going. I miss the really active days that we used to have so I guess I figure I need to find a new home. Its lonely over there!!

I'm doing WW too but I go only every other week. I'm also trying to boost my exercise level because that is the main driver for me to actually lose the fat. This over 40 body is holding on to it much too well!

I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up with individual replies all the time but I hope you don't mind if I join in for some comraderie, laughs and support.

Take care!

__________________What do I want most of all? I want to ride my horses and learn how to ride well! I want to train like a champion!