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4 PRODUCTS TO INJECT INTO YOUR LOVE LIFE WITHOUT DELAY!

With obstacles like moral policemen, interfering relatives and perverts round the corner, we realise how difficult it is for the Great Indian Lover to ply his trade peacefully. Now help is at hand.

1. Khoon-E-Aashiquee Ink

Psycho lovers with low haemoglobin rejoice! Khoon-E-Aashiquee is the blood-based ink you’ve been waiting for. Laced with blood extracts of hand-picked acid throwers and criminally charged stalkers, Khoon-E-Aashiquee is available in all the major blood groups. Go ahead, donate your blood to someone who actually needs it and let Khoon-E-Aashiquee take care of your mails.

2. Lustmen Rekha

Is your neighbourhood infected with lechers? Voyeurs trying to crawl their way into your bathroom? You madam, and sir, need to mark the object of your affection with the Lustmen Rekha. Once marked, your significant other would deflect away all unwanted attention, be it from the various perverted pests that inhabit our society or from the temptresses trying to steal your beau away.

3. Devdas Hip Flask

Alcohol is the best medicine for a breakup; keep it close when things go southwards in your relationship, with the Devdas Hip Flask. Drink away Paro’s rebuffs and make Chandramukhi’s advances tolerable with this Chunni Lal certified vessel.

4. Chhupi Chhatri

Not every Great Indian Lover can afford a house of their own or even a motel room for that matter. Enter Chuppi Chhatri. The umbrella that lets you have your intimate moments out in the open by employing the latest in camouflaging technology. It blends into any surrounding so you and your babe don’t stick out like a sore thumb. Public just became the new private!

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