tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post4408013493800859367..comments2018-12-12T23:59:47.916-08:00Comments on Dawn's Rise: Alternate Version Blogfest: Steam PalaceUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-82048766694575144702010-04-08T10:07:13.992-07:002010-04-08T10:07:13.992-07:00Thanks, everyone. I think for now I&#39;m going wi...Thanks, everyone. I think for now I&#39;m going with Sophia Stratton, but I love the other ideas as well.<br />Also, I&#39;ve announced the Bad Girl Blogfest!<br /><a href="http://blog.dawnsrise.com/2010/04/announcing-bad-girl-blogfest.html" rel="nofollow">http://blog.dawnsrise.com/2010/04/announcing-bad-girl-blogfest.html</a><br />I hope you can all participate!Iapetus999https://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-58955083475328304302010-04-04T22:24:07.789-07:002010-04-04T22:24:07.789-07:00Stratton. Could that be a Silver Spoons reference?...Stratton. Could that be a Silver Spoons reference? That would be awesome. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_Spoons)<br /><br />I think any of these could work well as a longer work! The first two work well, but I hesitate to compare them – they&#39;re very different. I agree with Livia – in the second version, it may not have to be a meet-cute to be memorable. Seems like you&#39;ll be fine, whatever course you take!<br /><br />BTW, my alt post was late in the launching. I&#39;d love your thoughts:<br />http://bit.ly/a5PWNCMargohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13894653672801960682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-8031903744134927892010-04-03T12:42:20.180-07:002010-04-03T12:42:20.180-07:00I like Providence and Primrose. Hmm, and I may be...I like Providence and Primrose. Hmm, and I may be in the minority here, but I kind of prefer the subtlety and uncertainty of your first version to straight up animosity of the second version. I like how she&#39;s not quite sure about her, and it made me want to know more about Lily. Although, if they do become fast friends right away, I do agree that there&#39;s not as much tension.<br /><br />I loved the spy version. Agent Stratton... haha.Liviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15805379309049803903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-84212985633115962422010-04-02T15:53:17.856-07:002010-04-02T15:53:17.856-07:00Great description. Loving your alternate versions,...Great description. Loving your alternate versions, especially the Sci Fi version. Pleasurist. Hehehe.maybe geniushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17034419617457525778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-31901661382144226592010-04-02T01:05:17.944-07:002010-04-02T01:05:17.944-07:00Your original rewrite is great, adding mystery and...Your original rewrite is great, adding mystery and conflict and really making me want to keep reading. And your alternate versions are very fun! I had to laugh out loud at this: &quot;checked her Glock as quietly as possible. Something stirred down in the parlor.&quot; What a brilliant juxtaposition. :)<br /><br />Where can I get a closet that will throw my clothes onto my body?! I need one.<br /><br />I vote for &quot;Sophia.&quot;Jen Brubacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01425418200940737247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-44877214559674282892010-04-01T18:55:00.519-07:002010-04-01T18:55:00.519-07:00Prudencia definitely doesn&#39;t bother me at all,...Prudencia definitely doesn&#39;t bother me at all, but I like Priscilla, too, if you want to change it.<br /><br />I loved the sci fi &quot;Pleasure provider!&quot;Amalia T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13005039978668326144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-39794599836849590622010-04-01T16:35:13.798-07:002010-04-01T16:35:13.798-07:00Oh wow, you really came through on this! I had fo...Oh wow, you really came through on this! I had forgotten. <br /><br />The second version was very interesting; and I like the pay version too. But all were well written in their genre&#39;s; excellent character building and scene setting and the spare backstory (about the aunt and where Prudencia came from) was just enough.<br /><br />I like Prudencia for the original character. It did fit her, but Priscilla would also work for me. <br /><br />Very good job Andrew!<br /><br />........dholeDonna Holehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-55570898594019752742010-04-01T14:31:43.062-07:002010-04-01T14:31:43.062-07:00Oh! More names&amp;madsh;my fave telenovela had th...Oh! More names&amp;madsh;my fave telenovela had these two hilarious sisters, and their names are just perfect: Eduviges and Efigenia. <br /><br />Might have to spell them with h&#39;s to get the proper effect in English. <br /><br />(Alternate versions FTW!)Jordan (MamaBlogga)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16523599384793856702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-40194498291497058312010-04-01T14:29:48.470-07:002010-04-01T14:29:48.470-07:00I like the tension and the description in the seco...I like the tension and the description in the second version! And of course the alternate alternates are fun, too.<br /><br />I do so love names! Lavinia seems popular, and I like it. Makes me think of my cousin Lucinda (I don&#39;t know her, just similar names).<br /><br />How about Hortense? ;)Jordan (MamaBlogga)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16523599384793856702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-78819496198383327082010-04-01T12:29:37.582-07:002010-04-01T12:29:37.582-07:00Great job on the first version...the spy version w...Great job on the first version...the spy version was fun too. Loved the action. I vote for Bethania. Keep up the great work!Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-59543494103405400272010-04-01T11:26:12.546-07:002010-04-01T11:26:12.546-07:00@Just: Good ideas. Her mother&#39;s name is Victor...@Just: Good ideas. Her mother&#39;s name is Victoria BTW<br />@Nic: I&#39;ll think about the eye thing. I can have her head up and looking around when she lights the lamp.Iapetus999https://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-15110255008566859592010-04-01T10:29:54.861-07:002010-04-01T10:29:54.861-07:00You&#39;ve painted interesting characters in each ...You&#39;ve painted interesting characters in each of these versions. I enjoyed the second one the most, I think. The genre-benders were a lot of fun too. <br /><br />I realize some of these were off-the-cuff, and this point on authorial intrusion would be addressed in revisions, but in the second version and in the slash version Viola was positioned to have her head down or her back to Prudencia, yet Prudencia made reference to her deep-colored eyes. I find myself making this error a lot. Something to think about in future:)<br /><br />I think the name Prudencia is only a problem for some because of its four syllables. Prudence was brought up by other commenters, and that works better since it only has two syllables. Camille jumped off your list at me, too. That&#39;s a lovely name for a character.<br /><br />Great job with this challenge! I enjoyed your post very much :)~Nicole Ducleroir~https://www.blogger.com/profile/01899768909313326172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-77655615719846055202010-04-01T10:13:14.091-07:002010-04-01T10:13:14.091-07:00I really liked your rewrite of the original...and ...I really liked your rewrite of the original...and then I loved your alternate genre versions, esp. the sci fi version!<br /><br />I am actually fine with the name Prudencia, but if others hate it so you think it must change...just don&#39;t make it Priscilla. Please? Camilla sounds all right. I&#39;d suggest just making it Prudence, taking off the ia. Or maybe Victoria, Honour, Honora, or Harmonia? Lavinia would be good, too--maybe even better than Camilla.Just Another Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07589166715361819941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-83997963174928185892010-04-01T09:18:34.385-07:002010-04-01T09:18:34.385-07:00Thanks!
BTW I updated the post and threw in a coup...Thanks!<br />BTW I updated the post and threw in a couple more versions of the scene.Iapetus999https://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042906897152963913.post-91859265891286542692010-04-01T08:51:11.661-07:002010-04-01T08:51:11.661-07:00Nice rewrite. You&#39;re definitely not afraid to...Nice rewrite. You&#39;re definitely not afraid to tackle a big project and get it right. That&#39;s inspiring to see.<br /><br />I like the rewritten version with the tension far better. Thanks for sharing your rewrite in progress.<br /><br />Onto the name. Would Prudence work? It&#39;s close enough to the original that you could keep in tact some of why you picked the name while being true to the period you are writing about. Of course, it&#39;s rather popular. And to that end, I like Lavinia. Interesting and unique.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com