OstaszewskI: Kayak: a balancing act

Sunday

Aug 24, 2014 at 12:30 AM

By Lee OstaszewskiLocal columnist

One thing I did on vacation this year was to go kayaking in the ocean. Technically that describes what I did. In the interest of full disclosure, however, the "ocean" consisted of the much calmer bayside of Cape Cod and I was never far enough from the shore for the water to be over my head.

That was probably a good thing. In any deeper water and my risk of drowning due to a kayak mishap would have gone up geometrically. And that was with a life jacket on.

The problem is the kayak. As watercraft go, a kayak is next to last in stability. Last are those logs used in log rolling contests. The key difference being that when you attempt logrolling you expect to end up in the water.

A novice kayaker, such as myself, approaches kayaking with the misguided belief that one will be able to stay inside the boat the entire time. How foolish that sounds now.

What I have since discovered is that even the word kayak comes from the Inuit word meaning, "Whoooa! Splash."

In truth, I only flipped over once. That was while trying to first get into the kayak. Somehow despite being in ankle deep water I still managed to go completely under. I am not sure how that was even possible.

Not knowing what I was doing, I tried getting into the kayak one leg at a time. It is the same way I put my pants on in the morning (as if I do it some other way in the afternoon). Granted, on occasion I stumble and fall putting my pants on one leg at a time; so in hindsight I’m not sure why I thought this method would work for a kayak.

I pushed the kayak out just far enough so it was floating. Standing next to it, I carefully placed my left foot inside and steadied myself. Being sure to keep my balance while crouching down and holding onto the sides of the kayak, I then gently lifted by right leg an entire centimeter off the sand and – whoooa, splash - immediately was flipped into the water.

It was instantaneous. I could have stayed on a mechanical bull longer. I quickly stood up and looked around to see if anyone on the beach saw me. For the record, I feel they all did. Some turned away to avoid laughing directly at me.

But let’s face it, watching someone flip trying to get into his kayak is funny stuff. I would have enjoyed it.

What I noticed as I retrieved the now upside down kayak was how stable the kayak floats this way. It was actually difficult to flip it right-side up. Hint to future kayak engineers: build it upside down.

Once I had the kayak back the way it is "supposed" to be, I noticed how small the opening is. Even on dry land I was not sure I could get inside the kayak easily. Not if I wanted my legs in there with me.

Perhaps I’m exaggerating, but the opening seemed no bigger than those rings that a circus performer uses for the trick where he steps into a ring then wiggles it up his body past his hips and shoulders then finishes when his arms go through.

Despite the long odds, I managed to get in on my second attempt. I swayed quite a bit, but the kayak did not throw me.

Then it was time to paddle. I placed the paddle in my two hands and went to make my first stroke when the kayak almost flipped over again. Basically, any movement right or left can cause one to flip in a kayak. I decided against paddling. I just floated there, stoically.

Some people claim they fish in a kayak, but I suspect after they are out of view, they double back and rendezvous with an accomplice on some secluded beach who provides them with store bought fish that they later claim to have caught. That would explain the packaging.

All in all, though, kayaking was fun. And by fun I mean I survived. Sometimes that’s as fun as it gets. The rest of vacation I enjoyed from the safety of my beach chair.

Lee lives in Medway. Email him at lee.online@verizon.net.

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