Today Mozilla announced that it was changing its name to Mozillasoft, to more accurately reflect company policy and attitudes. Spokesman Hugh Janus said, "We rolled out version 29 because, well, fuck you all. We've been working on our take on Windows 8, browser-style, and now that it's out there you can all just suck it. Just wait until our next update, when we're going to make sure to break all those add-ons that take you away from the ant-colony purity of Australis. We're done bending over backwards to accommodate users who want this button here and that control there. From now on, it's our UI, or you can go and die! Tabs on top! Tabs on top!"

...for enshrining the "right" to bear arms in your constitution. "Gun control? Fuck no, we have the right to wear guns and shoot things, goddammit! Zomglol bless Murrica!"

Nothing to see here, folks, move on. It's most likely some gun-nut teapublican protesting being "disrespected" at not being able to get his way and using a gun to get attention. Frankly, I'm surprised it hasn't happened before.

Companies large enough to afford good security remain vulnerable to hackers, malware and criminals..."

You mean, like the NSA?

"...because they tend to throw technological solutions at potential areas of risk rather than focusing on specific and immediate threats..."

You mean, like the NSA?

'As we look at the situation in the security arena we see an awful lot of big companies – Fortune 100-level companies – with, to be perfectly candid, appalling security. They have fundamentally no idea what they're doing,' Winter said.

The same companies, among others, that the NSA and FBI and whatever other government agencies routinely bully into giving up security, or else? If government is going to buttfuck you for having good security, why bother?

During almost 28 years at the National Security Agency (NSA), Winter established the spy agency's Technology Directorate and served as the agency's first CTO.

So, all this coming from someone who helped create the self-same deplorable situation he's crying about? This is as ironic as some asshole going around breaking into homes, attacking people while they sleep and raping them, and then complaining when someone breaks into his home and sodomizes him with a baseball bat.

It could be as simple as America selling ASS-droids to foreign countries, ASS-droids go on a rampage (via a handy NSA back door, say), and then America the Brave comes in and neutralizes them, gaining political capital and goodwill for the first time since Dumbya Bush decided to play in the sand, in addition to the money already gained for selling the robots in the first place. If they blame the Chinese or the Russians for hacking the droids, they get to shame their political enemies, too. Win-win-win all around. It's not like America cares what the rest of the world thinks as long as they can put a spin on it that they can pitch to their "voters."

Man walks past some security station or other holding a bottle of water. American Security Services (ASS) droid confronts person:

ASS-droid: "Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply."Man wonders what the fuck the thing is talking about.ASS-droid: "You now have 15 seconds to comply. You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9. You have 5 seconds to comply."Man turns and starts to run.ASS-droid: "Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force."

Incompetence. If America wants something done right, it has to do it itself!