Solomon: Astros name change? (Forget) that

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It is only right that Jim Crane has decided to slash ticket prices for that technically-major-but-closer-to-minor-league baseball team now known as the Houston Astros.

Perhaps fans can get their money’s worth in the 2012 season.

I mean, as was the case for all who paid to see The Green Hornet (or Green Lantern, for that matter), Astros ticket buyers must feel as if they are owed some green from last season.

So Crane deserves a big whoop for that.

But while the Astros’ new owner hit a ground-rule double with the ticket-price reduction — some 5,000 seats will be cheaper this year — he struck out looking by admitting the team is willing to consider changing its name.

Seriously?

“Change is change,” Crane said at a news conference to announce new “fan-friendly initiatives” on Monday. “We’re going to do a study on it. We’re going to study the information, both from our fans and from all sorts of marketing people. I’m not saying we’re going to change. We haven’t made a decision. If the change is going to come, it’s going to come next year.”

Let’s not wait ’til next year on this. Please allow me to save you the money all sorts of marketing people will charge you to “do a study on it.”

I can assure you those who have supported the Astros over their 50 years in Houston (47 with the name Astros) are not ready to kiss their Astros goodbye.

I’d just learned to crawl when the Colt .45s became the Astros, so I don’t know how that was received by the general public, but the Colt .45s lasted only three seasons. Nationally, some made fun of Astros as a nickname, but since mosquitoes were as attached to the team as its Colt .45s moniker, the change couldn’t have been that traumatic.

Fanning the flames

But changing the Astros name to anything would tick off true Astros fans to the highest of tickstivity. (Please note I cleaned that up for the family newspaper, though the mere mention of a possible name change compels one to use profane language.)

Stop while you are behind, Mr. Crane. Don’t change the name on the front of the jerseys; change the names on the back of the jerseys.

Dig deep into your pockets and field a team of players worthy of wearing “Astros” on their chests. Heck, while you’re at it — and I understand this might be asking a bit much — find some players for whom the stars on their jerseys might actually describe their status in baseball.

I’m not saying you can’t use cheap tricks to make fans want to want you — and you don’t have to be a band from Rockford, Ill., to know a name change is a cheap trick — but the name Astros is at the heart and soul of this franchise.

Change is change, you say. We understand that.

The Red Sox used to be the Americans. The Cubs used to be the Orphans, the Colts and the White Stockings. The Dodgers were once the Brooklyn Bridegrooms. And Prince used to be The Artist Formerly Known As.

So?

If you want change, change the team colors, paint the grass at Minute Maid Park orange, and hire scantily clad cheerleaders to dance on top of the dugouts between innings. But don’t make some silly name change as a money-grabbing ploy to sell more jerseys and caps.

Astroworld is gone, the Astrodomain is now Reliant Park, and the Astrodome is a blight on the city skyline.

But the Astros are Houston’s team, and despite what idiot politicians who didn’t grant us a space shuttle say, Houston is Space City. You may have purchased the franchise, but Astros is the name that belongs to the baseball team in Space City.

From Aspromonte, Watson, Dierker and Wynn to Cedeno, Cruz, Richard and Ryan to Bagwell, Biggio, Berkman and Oswalt, MLB stars in Houston have been Astros.

Keep this up, and your team will be the team formerly known as the favorite baseball team of tens of thousands of Houstonians.

People aren’t embarrassed about being Astros fans because of the team name. They are embarrassed about being Astros fans because the team finished with the worst record in baseball.

Winning cures all

They didn’t show up in large numbers at Minute Maid Park last year because the team lost a franchise-worst 106 games.

So before you mess with the team name, why don’t you try changing the Astros from losers to winners? How about changing them from being a laughingstock with a minor league roster and minor league payroll to being a team of which a major league city like Houston can be proud?