Thursday, March 25, 2010

On March 8th - 12th Emily and Adam came to spend some time with us while they were on Spring Break. I, however, had to spend most of the time working but I did manage to spend a little time with them. We played the Wii, cooked yummy food and of course played boardgames.

The Thursday night before they left we did actually manage to get all of us together for dinner. This is very rare that we can all manage a night off together. We all went to eat at Shogun. Our family is getting so large that we barely all fit at one table. The girls enjoyed watching them cook but, Ashlyn was not too crazy about the fire! Here are some pics from the night.

One of our favorite things about March is the Cherry Blossom Festival. It is so much fun to see the entire town go pink. We try to go to at least on event each year. This year we decided to go to see the Jimmy Buffett Tribute Band. Linda and Howard joined us and we even let Odie come and practice being around other people. Odie was a little scared but he did really well. We had fun eating all the yummy food and listening to the band. We also saw the Sea Lion Show and Heath bought me a Cherry Blossom tree which we planted in the front yard.

Lacey the Pink Poodle is well known around the Cherry Blossom Festival and she happened to be out the night we were there. I think she and Odie might have had a love connection!I also wanted to give an update on the Baby Dust book, all the pages have been mailed out to those who have emailed me. I still have a few pages left, if you are interested please see the post below for information. I also would like to say Thank you to all those who offered to make pages, your support has been amazing. The pages have already started rolling in and they are incredible! Once I have them all back I do plan to post pictures of my book, so look for it sometime in late April. Happy Spring Everyone!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

So, typically when you order a "strong" shot you may have a chaser with it to help it go down a little more smoothly. So, first up, a shot of reality....

I first want to say Thank you to all those who have spent many months praying for me, my 2...4 and other numbers or odd request I have asked you to pray for. I have been so blessed to have so many people willing to pray for me and for things that they may not understand. For that I am truly thankful.

The hard fact is that it is now March (I know you all are stunned by this revelation!) and I am still standing in the "waiting for a baby" line. I know many months ago I shared some things that God had put on my heart, I felt and still feel very strongly about "my 2", even though I don't know what it means. This is something I have struggled with tremendously. Why would God put something on my heart that I don't understand. I have also struggled with the fact that it may cause someone else's faith to waiver because of something I chose to share. I know many of you believed February was my month just as strongly as I did. This, however, I know is true, what was put on my heart was real and honest and I would post it again and ask you all to pray for it again in a heartbeat. It was meant to be shared.

I may never know or understand what it all means. I do know, that one day I hope to sit at God's feet and let him fill in the blanks on my life. Why he has chosen the path for me that he did and maybe we will sit back and laugh at how missed those few "dots" that connected everything together. There is a purpose for everything and just because things didn't turn out the way I thought it would, or hoped it would. I refuse to let it shake my faith. Just as there is good in this universe, there is also evil that is just as hard at work trying to upset God's work. God would never put a desire on my heart, so strongly, if he did not intend to fulfill that desire. I truly with all my heart believe this!

Please note, while this post may seem like I am calm about all this, I can assure you this is being written after much prayer. I have had (and still have at times) my moments of overwhelming sadness. Moments where I have cried countless tears and begged for relief from this pain in my heart. It has taken sometime for me to accept this and make the choice to move forward, even though I wanted to throw up my hands and quit. My pain is still there, the sadness is still there and God is still there too! This is the journey that was set out for me and I have to go straight through it and that doesn't mean it will be easy or that I will like it.

I have had to do, the one thing, I dreaded the most. We will now be seeking the help of a fertility specialist. After much thought and consideration, I have decided to share this journey with you all. I do not know how much of this I will choose to share as I am generally a more discreet person. I feel like it is important to share this journey because that will make the reward even sweeter!

A dear friend of mine gave me a wonderful book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It is an amazing book if you are struggling with the path God has chosen for you. One of my favorite parts in the book is chapter 28 where the author says "I am a tree in a story about a forest and it is arrogant of me to believe any differently. The story of the forest is better than the story of tree." This very statement is what helped me to keep moving forward and to share my journey with all of you because, I don't know what part I am to play in each of your lives or what part you all will play in mine.

So, that was my shot of reality. I am not going to lie, it was tough to swallow. Now for the easy part...the chaser.

What is Baby Dust, you ask?!? Simply put, they are well wishes and good luck to those trying to conceive. So that, is what I would like you all to be a part of. When I knew I was going to have to start seeing a fertility specialist I knew it would include alot of appointments and waiting. Those idle moments of waiting are almost always filled up by worrying, which leads to panic, which leads to crying.....you get the picture here, right!?!. Obviously I can't have you all there to help keep me calm, so it gave me an idea.

My idea is, a Baby Dust book that I can carry with me to appointments and *fingers crossed* someday into the delivery room. I got this idea from a friend of mine who had something similar made for her during a very difficult time. The book will be made by all of you.. I can hear you all now, and there is no need to panic (I do enough of that to go around...twice!) When it is complete it will look something like this. In the "art world" these little gems are called "chunky books" and I think they are fabulous!

So, here is where all of you come in. I am asking those of you who are interested to make one page (front and back) for me to add to this book. Your words of encouragement will help keep me sane during this difficult process, appointments ect. You do not have to be an artist to do one! If you have ever scrap booked then you can do this. I will send you the "page" which is a 4x6" tag shaped chipboard which you can decorate in anyway you wish. My only requirement is that the front side include an encouraging scripture or uplifting quote. The back side you must have your name on it at the minimum but, I would love a little note from you. Here are some examples. Please note these example are done by artist so please don't be intimidated. I simply posted them so you can see what "chunky pages" look like and to help give you some ideas. I promise I will love anything you do!

If you are interested (or know anyone who might be) please email me at heathandbrittani@aol.com and put the word Baby Dust in the subject line so I don't overlook it. I will mail you a page and a tip sheet on how to do your page. When you are finished you will mail it back to me and I will add it to the book. Your encouraging words will be an important part of my journey, I assure you. I could look at art and scrapbooks for hours. My hope is to have at least 12 pages by my first appointment on April 21st. So don't be shy! If I can do the fertility thing, you can do a page!!! :)

Once my beautiful book is bound I promise to post pictures of it.

Update: I currently have... officially lost count, but I will keep sending them as long as people ask for them!

I have been married to my prince charming for the past 10 years. What an amazing ride we have been on. After 7 years of TTC we finally had our sweet baby boy. The past year has been so much fun, being a parent with my best friend. We can't wait to see what our future together holds!