Razorback Expats

Q&A: Matt Besser, Part 3

Welcome to the third and final part of our Q&A with the world's funniest Hog fan, Matt Besser (click here for part one and here for part two). In this installment, Matt discusses the Atlanta Falcons' karma, which Razorbacks would make the best companions on a cross-country trip and the celebrities he's discussed the Hogs with. Many thanks to Matt for taking the time to talk with us and many thanks to our dear friend Chris Cranford for his help in setting up the interview. Now, on with the show:

I think it’s completely unfair how ESPN has picked on him, way beyond what he has done. It’s almost like he killed somebody.

I’m ready to see some passing. God, it has been so long. I can’t even remember. It’s amazing to me that Marcus Monk is in the NFL because he hasn’t been able to show off the last two years at all, it seems to me.

But, thank God we’re turning that around. Of course, this will be a really tough year, but I can have patience with it. I hope that with recruiting, they’re bringing in the type of guys that we need.

Switching gears a little bit, this is a hypothetical question: If you had to take a cross-country road trip with three current or former Razorback players or coaches, who would you pick and why?

Wow. Well, Matt Jones ‘cause he’s bringing the bowl!

You’d have to take Holtz ‘cause he’s such an interesting talker.

Of course, McFadden and Sidney Moncrief would be my two favorite players, but I’m not sure if they would be the most fun on a cross-country trip.

I might want to bring Kareem Reid, if you remember him. He was an exciting point guard. He seems really funny. He’d be fun. Darrell Walker might be fun too.

I’m trying to think of football players. I’d like to hear Ben Cowin’s side of the story. What happened to get him suspended for the Orange Bowl – I’ve always wanted to know that story.

If any of your readers know that story, I’ve always tried to find out and never could figure it out.

We’ve got a couple of serious historians who might be able to chip in on that.

Yeah, if they could get why he was suspended. I never understood that.

If you had to pick one Razorback coach or player that you thought had some improv potential, who would you select?

Maybe Holtz. I’m trying to think. Definitely not Matt Jones – he talks too slow. He’s also one of my favorite players ever, I should mention. God, all of those overtime wins were some of the most exciting games I’ve ever watched.

I don’t know – I guess I’d have to go with Holtz. He is funny.

What about your least favorite opposing player or team of all time?

Well, it’d have to be Texas. I don’t know how any Razorback fan my age or older could answer anything but Texas. Younger, I can understand because we’re no longer in the Southwest Conference, and we don’t play them as much.

I’m really glad they’re back on the football schedule. I almost wish we had put it off a year, but Texas is definitely it.

It’s corny, but really funny and very influential to me: Craig O’Neill, he was a disc jockey. He’s a sports guy now, right?

Yeah.

He used to be a disc jockey in Little Rock, and he was really funny. He’d do these crank calls, and I know you can find this online somewhere too. But, he does this really corny thing where he calls up, and I think he’s talking to the athletic director at UT if not the coach and explaining to them that they misspelled “Texas” in the end zone, and they added an extra “S.” To hear the Texas guy go, “You gotta get rid of that ‘s,’” and he’s like, “There’s no time, we can’t do it.”

It's such a simple joke, but I thought it was the greatest thing ever. [Editor's note: Matt is right. You can find this call online. Just click here to listen.]