Stupid Client Quote #8076

So I am the family tech. My parents have a computer that is
pretty old and only really used for light work (email, World,
YouTube). I often get complaints that it is slow. This is what I
hear specifically - "The computer must have a virus. It is
slow." Every few weeks despite me making it clear there isn't a
virus, it is just old. Whenever I'm at their side to see,
relativity must kick in hard core or something because it
suddenly isn't so slow. So I decide to do them a favor and
upgrade that old POS. Same complaints....

I start realizing that they are misrepresenting the time and
have fallen into the mind set of "I want everything right now
damnit!". So instead of getting online for email where things
are nice, safe and the same; I install an email client to lessen
network latency, then explain that the network takes a while for
small stuff, which is why it is slow. This conversation ensues.

"Computer must have a virus. It is so slow."
"Show me."
"Why can't you check it out?"
"I can never reproduce what you are doing. Just show me."
"OK, well, I wasn't able to delete an email before, so I went to
the old method."
"You kept saying that it is slow. So I gave you this. It is
faster. Just use this and it will be fine."
"But why do I have to learn something new."
"This is how we get it faster."