The Gospel According to Skwerl

10.24.2007

REGRESSION & REGRET Current mood: FUCKERY+ CRANKY = ME :) SO AS I ENTER THE 35TH YEAR OF MY BIRTH, I HAVE BEGUN TO RUE THE DAY I WAS SHAT FROM MY MOTHER'S WOMB. I FEEL I HAVE MADE NO WORTHWHILE CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD OR MY INNER CIRCLE...ALL BECAUSE I GOT SIDETRACKED IN MY 20'S.I SPENT MY 20'S CHAINED TO ONE UNDESERVING ASSHOLE OR ANOTHER. MY LOVE AND AFFECTION WAS USED AS A WEAPON, A RESTRAINT & A MEANS TO MY CONFIDENCE'S DESTRUCTION. NOW I'M LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL OF OF THE 40'S AND I AM STARTING TO WONDER WHY. WHY WOULD SUCH DOUCHEBAGGERY WANT A HOME IN MY HEART? WHY WAS I SO EASILY TRICKED INTO THINKING THEY ACTUALLY LOVED ME? WHY DID I NOT SEE IT FOR WHAT IT WAS, NOT WHAT I WANTED IT TO BE?WHY DID I WASTE 8 YEARS TETHERED TO A GUY WHY USED ME AS ARMCANDY & A FUCK TOY FOR 4 OF THOSE YEARS BEFORE HE ENEN CONDESCENDED TO MAKE ME HIS ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND? WHY DID I MOVE BACK FROM SAN JUAN TO LET IT CONTINUE? WHY AM I SO PISSED THAT HE GOT SOME 22 YEAR OLD KNOCKED UP & THEN MARRIED HER 2 MONTHS LATER. I DUMPED HIM, I DON'T HAVE ANY ROMANTIC FEELING TOWARD HIM...MAYBE I'M JUST PISSED THAT I JUMPED THRU SO MANY HOOPS JUST TO GET THE SLIGHTEST GLIMMER OF AFFECTION...WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT KNOCKED UP.IT SEEMS TO ME I AM MY OWN WORSE ENEMY, I HAVE HAD TOO MUCH FAITH IN THE HEARTS OF MEN...ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE ALLEDGEDLY "GOOD" ONLY TO BE LEFT TO WRACK & RUIN. I ASK VERY LITTLE OF THEM- AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT I HAVE GOTTEN.I BASICALLY LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT REGRET- UNTIL NOW. I REGRET BELIEVING ANY MAN WHO WAS NOT MY DAD EVER REALLY CARED FOR ME. I REGRET TAKING SO MUCH SHIT. I REGRET NOT EXPECTING & DEMANDING MORE METAPHYSICALLY & ROMANTICALLY OF THE MEN IN MY LIFE. I REGRET FEELING GUILTY FOR BEING ANGRY BECAUSE OF IT. THAT CAN'T BE HEALTHYTHAT BEING SAID- TO ALL OF YOU 'GENTLEMEN' WHO USED OR HURT ME UNDER THE GUISE OF AFFECTION: MAY YOUR NEXT SHIT BE SQUARE & DRY, HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIERY PLANE CRASH AND THAT THE DEVIL CORNHOLES YOU NIGHTLY...OH, AND MAY YOUR PEEN & MANBERRIES BE COVERED WITH PAPERCUTS, AND OPEN HERPETIC COLD SORES DOUSED WITH SALTY LEMON JUICE. NOTHING WOULD BRING ME MORE PLEASURE, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T. (YEAH THATS RIGHT- I FAKED IT A FEW TIMES, NOW GUESS WITH WHOM...BWAHAHAHAHAA) mine is an evil laugh muahahahahaWELL- THAT DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER...NOW THAT UNPLEASANTNESS IS OFF MY SIZABLE CHEST I CAN MOVE ON AND SEEK OUT A NON-FUCKWIT WHICH I CAN SHARE THE BOUNTY OF MY HEART & 'ASSETS' WITHTOODLES-SKWERL, PATRON SAINT TO THE UNDERESTIMATEDCurrently listening : Down - Over The Under By Down

FOR NOELLEOn Tuesday, September 11th, 0847 am EDT- at the beginning of a new day of infamy....a little girl was born.9/11 will always mean balloons & cake & presents to her. Barbie pink, High School Musical and Happy Birthday will be remembered. She will always be the princess on that day. There will be smiles and singing and laughter on her day.On 9/11 she will be Sweet 16, and the belle of the ball.9/11 will be the day she gets her drivers license, her 1st legal beer- maybe a tattoo.9/11 will be the day she goes from her carefree 20's to her adult 30's.Her little girl or boy will wreck her kitchen on 9/11, attempting to make some very bad waffles & burnt toast served in bed. (Their dad will do clean up duty)That's the day I will try to remember, without forgetting the rest.god bless- skwerl

GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS MY WRATHKETEERS.TODAY I AM FEELING QUITE RANTY. BETTER BUCKLE UPI HAVE A CRAPPY JOB. I DON'T HIDE IT, NOR DO I HATE IT. THE PAY IS SHIT, NO BENEFITS, PAID HOLIDAYS AND I WORK HALF OF EVERY WEEKEND. YET STILL I DONT HATE IT. I HAVE A DEGREE, LIVE FOR THE TECHNOLOGY THAT THE DEATHSTAR EXPOSES ME TO, SECRETLY RESENTING THE FULLTIME TECHS FOR DOING WHAT I CAN ONLY WISH TO DO. STILL, I DON'T HATE MY JOB.UNTIL TODAY.ITS NOT ENOUGH THAT HALF OF US GET PAID 50% TO 1/3 OF WHAT OUR INDUSTRY COUNTERPARTS GET WHILE THE REST GET OUTSOURCED TO SOMEPLACE WHERE THE WORKERS ARE PAID IN TINFOIL, BITS OF STRING & FOOD. ITS NOT ENOUGH THAT THERE IS ONE COMMUNAL STAPLER & POST IT PAD FOR 50 PEOPLE TO USE.IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT THE WATER PURIFIER/COOLER WAS REMOVED (WE HAVE WELL WATER & SEPTIC HERE- DRINKING THAT SWILL IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.)SO WHAT COERCED MY IRE?THEY REPLACED THE ALREADY SHITTY, FLIMSY, SUPER MEGA ROLL TOILET PAPER THAT REPLACED THE ORIGINAL SO-SO NORMAL ROLL TP- WITH AN EVEN SHITTIER, NEARLY TRANSPARENT *AND* SCRATCHY TOILET PAPER. NO MATTER HOW CAREFULLY YOU TRY TO PULL IT FROM THE DISPENSER IT SHREADS INTO MICROSCOPIC SPLINTERS AND TATTERS, TATTERS THAT LEAVE MY HINDQUARTERS FEELING NOT SO FRESH & A LITTLE SORE.TO CALL IT JOHN WAYNE BRAND WOULD BE AN INSULT TO JOHN WAYNE SINCE HE WAS TOUGH AS NAILS AND DON'T TAKE SHIT OFF NO ONE. THIS IS MORE LIKE ABRASIVE FAIL ON A ROLL.FUCKING DEATHSTAR, YOU FAILSKWERL

ANOTHER GEM FROM CRAIG’S LISTasshole kids.THANK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE....I THINK I LOVE YOU.Kids- I dont have kids. My friends dont have kids. My experience with little kids is fairly limited. However, i have fairly extensive experience with junior high and high school kids. And y'know what? They're spoiled, arrogant little assholes. When I see some kid at the restaurant that wont take off his headphones or put away his PSP to eat dinner, I want to slap his parents in the face. When I watch Nanny 911 or Supernanny and I hear some beanbag housewife whining that she cant control her 3 year old, I want to kick my television set to the floor. When I hear some little crotchfruit at Meijers throwing a tantrum because he cant have a video game/candy bar/toy, I want to go up to him and scream at him as loudly as i possibly can, until my throat is raw and bleeding and i'm screaming a fine red mist all over this little shit's face. What the fuck ever happened to discipline? NO MEANS NO. It doesnt even have to involve spankings, I was spanked maybe 3 times when I was a kid. Those 3 times were enough. YOU'RE the parent, YOU'RE the adult, YOU ARE IN CONTROL. I'm sorry, but if you're 30 and cant control a 3 year old you belong in a home with someone spooning applesauce into your stupid piehole. If you dont want to take the time to be a parent, dont have kids. It IS a choice, if abortion is against your beliefs then give the baby up to one of the thousands of couples who cant have kids but desperatly want them. (unless their gay, because we all know gay people cant raise babies. two people who love eachother are only allowed children if the peepees dont match.) Parenting takes time and effort, I'm pretty sure on that one, and by time and effort I do NOT mean plunking them down in front of the television for 5 hours. It does not mean buying a 4 year old an X-BOX 360 so "he wont get bored." HE'S 4. A four year old can play with a box and some lawn chairs for hours on end, and be perfectly happy. However, when the kid is stacking the lawnchairs on the box and then trying to stand on top of it and falls, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SUE THE LAWN CHAIR COMPANY. You were supposed to be watching him, hell, maybe helping him build his fort, not sitting on your ass in the other room talking on the phone, painting your nails, and watching Dr. Phil. You are not entitled to monetary damages because you're an idiot. I wish I was a judge, I'd be like Judge Judy except with more profanity. People, the world has been dumbed down enough. Stop freaking out and whining about television/music/games/movies and fucking it up for adults. You dont like the vulgar music your kids listen to? I agree, it's a little disturbing to have a 10 year old walking around singing "my humps" or "crazy bitch", so maybe dont buy them the cd's? I like the cd's and I'm 26 years old, but because of your bitching certain stores wont carry the cds I might enjoy. You dont like violent video games? Quit waiting in line for 234231 hours the day after Thanksgiving to buy them x-box nine billion. Does your 8 year old really need a shirt that says TEASE and itty bitty shorts that say JUICY on the butt? You want to paint her a big red sandwich board that says "PEDOPHILES PLEASE LOOK AT ME" while you're at it? Exercise a little discipline and maybe some personal self-control. You dont have to buy them everything they ask for. Or, if some analogies might help you out here, quit digging your own grave, quit making the bed that you will sleep in, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Do not buy a video game and then freak out and attempt to sue video game companies because it "made" your kid attempt to torch your neighbors cat. Do some research. Wait, that might take up some of your Days of our Lives programming time, maybe try it at night, after you shoot your husband down for sex because you've been too tired "watching the kids" all day. He can sneak off to his laptop to look at porn, you can sit in the living room and actually try making yourself a better parent. It's so much easier to do that without those pesky kids around. Fuck you and your whiny, spoiled, irritating, pussy kids. (and before you email me saying YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER SO YOU DONT KNOW, realize that I dont care. Whether or not I'm a mother has nothing to do with how crappy you are as a parent. When I see your child, it's in public, where they should be on their best behavior. If this is how they act in public, good fucking luck with them at home.)

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About Me

This is how I intend to fund my golden years...with a cult based on a rabid squirrel- you could do worse with your money...like giving it to a crooked televangelist. As I have gotten older, one undeniable truth has been revealed to me: If its got balls or bearings its bound to give you a headache.