First Date Protocol

Dating in the 21st century means there are seemingly endless ways of saying “I’m thinking about you.” There is tweeting, texting, sexting, email , voicemail, Instagram, Pinterest, iChat, Skype, YouTube, and Facebook, and there are no doubt many others I’m leaving out. One of the most common is texting. Let’s talk about texting and women for a moment.

Texting is very convenient and is a fun form of communication. My husband and I are always texting back and forth. Usually it’s about the kids, but even so, we put a spin on how we spell words, which is our code for other things. That said, texting definitely has its time and place in the beginning stages of a relationship.

When a relationship is fresh out of the box, I caution you to be careful with how you choose to communicate via text. It says a lot about your character and sets up an immediate impression that you may or may not feel portrays you in an accurate light. Call me old fashioned, but the advice I give my male clients is to pick up the phone for the first communication with their date.

In my opinion, the man must absolutely take the lead in the beginning, and a direct phone call allows to him to set up the first date in a proper manner. After all, a man’s voice appeals to one of our five senses: sound. Texting doesn’t qualify and falls short of any emotional vibration.

So when can we text, tweet, wink, etc? I believe that once the date is set, a brief text or email can follow without rocking the boat.

Your age does make a difference here, so know your audience. A 20 something can send a text confirming a date without batting an eye. If a 40 something chooses texting to be his one and only source of contact prior to the first date, however, it leaves a question mark with the woman.

Another thing to consider with texting is how much you write and share about yourself before and after the initial meeting. I can’t tell you how many people blow it by sending the wrong message or sharing too much too soon!

Last but not least, regardless of how much you like them, or how much you want them to like you back, STAY AWAY FROM SEXTING prior to the first date! In the man’s mind, you will immediately go from him considering you as a potential mate to being concerned about your potential as a mate moving forward.