...thats the part I haven't been able to verify yet...whether adding Adaptive M gives you the lower ride height...the only thing I've seen is that M-Sport and Sport Line do not give you lower ride height (as they do in non-AH3)...

I'm fairly sure you get lower height with Adaptive M on the AH3.

The reason you don't get 10mm lower on the AH3 with Sport/M-sport is because Sport Suspension is simply not available, period, on the AH3.