Mormons and Easter

Thoughts from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous:

I’m kind of tired of Mormons trying to take Easter all serious like. It comes off as cultural appropriation because, let’s face it, we aren’t Christians like that kind of Christian. Easter is never going to stick because a) we have no connection to Christendom’s liturgical calendar b) our very few rituals are derived not from Christianity but from masonry c) we have zero aesthetic for public religious performance (cathedrals, pilgrimages, processions, art, clerical dress, etc.) d) Easter is always going to compete with General Conference and lose e) we don’t really care about the cross because of reasons f) we are a protest movement against both Catholicism and Protestantism and so we thumb our noses at their concern over Easter g) we are just exhausted from so many other religious and cultural duties and activities that we can’t be bothered h) it’s hard to get excited for resurrection when our theology makes it just another form of damnation without the highest temple ordinances (or, you know, plural marriage according to canon) i) our music sucks.