The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep. ~ E. Joseph Lossman

[Note: Since its original appearance, this post has been updated regularly with links to additional articles, below. The most recent update was added on March 23, 2015.]

A reader writes, “I can't seem to get to sleep until after 3:00. I am tired all day, but I don't seem to be tired enough when everyone else is going to bed. I was having problems before my husband died, but now it is a LOT worse. Benedryl makes me sleepy but it has not helped at all. How long should I let this go on before being concerned?”

Disruptions in normal sleep patterns are very common in the first weeks and months of grief. If you're having trouble sleeping, you might try some of the simple methods recommended by experts in accredited sleep centers:

Cut back on your caffeine and nicotine intake several hours before going to sleep.

Exercise regularly (for 20 minutes at least, three times a week).

Avoid self medicating and alcohol which can offer only temporary escape, have serious side effects, can affect motor coordination and mental acuity, may lead to dependency, can magnify feelings of depression and can disrupt patterns of sleep.

Use sleeping aids only as prescribed by your doctor, and only as a temporary way to break the cycle of sleeplessness.

In Rethinking Sleep, senior reporter David K. Randall writes in the NY Times, "No one argues that sleep is not essential. But freeing ourselves from needlessly rigid and quite possibly outdated ideas about what constitutes a good night’s sleep might help put many of us to rest, in a healthy and productive, if not eight-hour long, block." [September 23, 2012]

We usually think of winter as the season to hibernate, but Huffington Post reporter Laura Shocker says these shorter days can keep us awake. In this interesting article, she identifies 8 Ways Winter Affects Our Sleep [January 19, 2012]

On his Sleeping Skills.com Web site , Positive Psychology practitioner Lynn D. Johnson, Ph.D. offers a very helpful book on sleep skills, The Healing Power of Sleep, along with an audio Sleep Training CD with tracks on savoring your bed, mindful breathing, progressive relaxation, and autogenic training. [June 20, 2011]

Writing for The New Old Age column in The New York Times, author Paula Span reports on "a quick, effective solution to the insomnia that plagues an estimated 15 to 30 percent of older adults — without drugs, without even needing to consult a physician." A study conducted by a University of Pittsburgh team revealed that learning and following four simple rules produced better sleep in two-thirds of the folks who participated in the research. What worked? Subjects were taught to "stick to a schedule that maximizes one's 'sleep efficiency' — the amount of time in bed you spend sleeping, instead of tossing and hoping that sleep will descend. That involves four rules: Reduce the time spent in bed. Get up at the same time every day. Don’t go to bed until you feel sleepy. Don’t stay in bed if you’re not sleeping." Read the entire article here: Simple Rules for Better Sleep [March 24, 2011]

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Thanks for a useful post. I think that a lot of the reason for insomnia is not wanting to wake up to what I call 'the dawning.' Ways to counter this are to organise yourself to do something that you enjoy ~ ,maybe have a long bath or go for a walk in a calming place, or read a poem ~ on waking so that the 'dread of waking' can be mitigated some bit.