I am baaaaaaack. How often I meant to blog again and then didnt. SIGH. Same old thing.

Some photos to show off again of course. Not due to their “brilliantness” – haha – but rather so show off my good soul – aeeeeh NO! – you get to see them because I took them. The Emma walks continued until the weather dropped from the mid twenties down to freezing under 10 degrees. In like a day. There was ice on my postal car the last two days! While walking the dog, I of course enjoyed the beautifulness of Salzburg immensly. Plus we got to spot animals! One of them we tried to rescue, I am not sure if we succeeded though. Why do toads have to rest on the middle of the street for goodness sake?! Well here are some photos:

View on the old city.

Love the colours.

Ohhhhh.

The fortress.

Hedgie on its way.

Not shy at all, but he did hiss at me.

Toad <3

We rescued it.

An it pooped on my brothers hand.

And because I have so many more photos, here we go again. Never enough!

As you know, I am sucker for Halloween decoration. Despite being laughed at – who cares really?! – at the beginning of October we digged out our Halloween stuff and the decorating began. Me loves.

As you probably spotted, we gave the finishing touches to the living room wall. I dont think it ever looked as good as it does now!

I had the hardest time adjusting back to work. It was so not fun and took me over two weeks. I adjusted by now, doesnt mean that I like or enjoy it. I think I am at the point, where the workload is pretty much over my capeabilities. But it brings the money in. I also took the Patronustest at Pottermore and guess: my Patronus is NOT a turtle, but a buffalo. Shocking! I got my 3rd shot of Nucala and my skin has settled on a medicore level that is just a bit too bad to be ok with it. I am waiting for the ekzema biologics that will eventually come out next year. I can wait. I went back to Uni this semester. Its almost not doable besides an almost 50 hour workjob, but I did it. So proud of myself! Really! I also claimed my first PokemonGo Arena. I was so happy!

I read a lot of course. I didnt like The Vegetarien but I loved The Nightingale. I am almost done with my reading goal for 2016 (45 books!), weheee!

It really seems that I blog so seldomly, that I am always busy bringing you uptodate while I would rather write about the many thoughts that are racing around in my head. But ok. The National Blog Writing Month – actually its not even on my continent, I should rename it to international for myself! – is around the corner, I will have plenty of time to write about everything. But this I must talk about now. Because its a burden. Someone in my delivery area killed herself yesterday. She was not young, she didnt have it all and just didnt see it. She was old – she would have been 80 next month – and she was so very sick with COPD. I saw her recently, and she could barely get around, she did not have too much lung capacity left and was on oxygon 24 hours since a long time. Yes. Whenever it comes to anything that I can very easily get in the future, it scares the heck out of me. Point one. This COPD is a huge fear of mine and an extremly huge reason why I swim as hard and as often as I do. I am so very afraid of it. This is also why I hate the lung outpatient clinic so much, because I see so many so very sick people that can easily be me at a point. I am fighting this with everything that is in me. But that is not even what I wanted to write about. I keep thinking about her and how lonely she must felt. I cant even put it into words. I am so sad for her. It also brings me on the topic of assisted suicide, which is of course forbidden here. I am thinking that it would be a much more dignified way to go much rather than killing yourself because you are just too sick to go on living. It would have been so much easier on the family than now having to live with this. But what do I know. This is still not what I wanted to say, but I cant think anymore obviously.

Of course my very much loved Uni swim training has started again and I love it so much! It makes me so very happy, even on the days where I am stuck in grieve. What a horrible thing grieve is. It never goes away ever. It doesnt make it easier that I dont believe in anything anymore either, would be easier, so much easier.

Oh well. I wish you peace of soul. Nothing is as important as people that cant be replaced. Cherish everyone you have. Never take anything for granted! Learn from my many mistakes. Lots of love an good night!

11 Responses to “The Beginning Of Autumn – AGAIN”

Oh dearest Conny – suicides near me always hit me hard too – for long time cause I always thought it should have been me who died. But II accept them cause everyone this old and sick or with a burden unbearable for someone (you know one tolerates more, another less), it is everyones right to choose suicide – I totally am with those people (and still sometimes wish I had the guts to pull the trigger).
Now to the assisted suicide: very easy – move to Switzerland and join Exit – they then help you.
I surely hope I’ll die before I get this old and can’t do anything against it – I am not a member of Exit but I have a patient disposal which forbids everything that’s leaving me alive when there is no chance of recovery.
For ages I have lying here the psychiatrical patient disposal and wasn’t able to fill it in cause I am not sure what I want to be done if a breakdown occurs again.
The logical next step about your job: Any possibility you can do something else? Cause sooner or later you will get so sick you will not be able to work anymore when it’s robbing you off of all the energy you have – unfortunately I speak from experience as you know.
Uni – what do you still have to do to finish your degree or the degree you want to reach?

Hey Connie! I will send you some our heat…we may get up to near 27 ° C. this week…breaking records in NYC…gross though…the trees are still green.

I am ready for Halloween…! Have lights up & a pumpkin. Will go to a party dressed as Winona Ryder in “Stranger Things”…do you watch that? It’s on Netflix.

Very sad about the suicide lady. I visit with a lady I used to work with…she is now 90 & lives on her own & has so many physical ailments & is on so much medication — but never complains. I don’t know what I would do when things get beyond beyond.

Dear Lucy, you have the biggest heart to go and visit your Coworker regularly! I am very sure she appreciates it so much. Does she have any relatives too? Some people can deal better than others when old and sick. But as you said, those who are beyond and beyond… So many people talk about stranger things these days, its on my to watch list. I am watching the Ausschwitz docu “right now”. Now with the thousands of people from Syria who are here, and the anti-foreigner-stream that is taking over, I feel its important to watch this over and over and over. The weather is scary, just imagine it in a 100 years from now. It has already changed so much in my lifetime! I hope you get to see the change of colours too before the snow comes. Its so beautiful! Be well too Lucy, lots of hugs!

Forgot to mention my Patronus is a Robin…Not what I expected but I’ll go with that!

My friend Terry has many relatives (though she lost her son last year & I don’t know how she got through it, but she did) & she’s even a new great-granny— but no one is nearby since her son died. She has a network of church friends & neighbors who love her! She is truly an inspiration & one of the kindest & BUSIEST women I’ve ever known.

I was in Sweden in June & they have a refugee problem too that was very apparent. The USA is in turmoil now…hoping it doesn’t end here with a narcissistic, anti-immigration, misogynistic demagogue ready to press the button… Auschwitz docu sounds very appropriate…more people should educate themselves about history. Sorry for the mini-rant!

Turtelinas Kingdom is run and created by Connie (aka Turtelina), a little mail carrier somewhere in Austria obsessed with turtles and probably
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