A D&D Blog by a Fledgling DM

Even D&D Is Getting Me Down

So I’m in a weird place right now. And I don’t mean because I just moved into our first house. I mean that, despite the house, despite the acting, despite all the stuff that should be making me happy, I’m feeling really down.

It might be because I’m having a hard time finding a new job after the previous one let me go. Or that, now that I have this time off from working a day job, I feel like it’s a chance to pursue my dream…but I feel like I can’t because of all the heavy responsibility on us now with a house and family. My frustration with my writing, lately, could definitely also be a contributor.

So, you’d think it’d be nice to turn to D&D to help cheer me up, to escape into other worlds, and build upon my ideas and my homebrew settings. Or maybe finally catch up on Critical Role, because I’m so behind.

But, no. Even Dungeons & Dragons is depressing for me right now.

As I mentioned, I’m frustrated with my writing, so the last thing I want to do is sit down and write some more. So there’s no new homebrew content springing to mind. I also don’t feel like reading through the campaign books and supplements because that’ll remind me that I haven’t played the game in such a long time – more depressing things.

Then there’s watching Critical Role. I’m so behind that I feel like it’s pointless to try and catch up. I can’t just sit here and waste my days watching 3-hour episode after 3-hour episode. I’ll get nothing done. And getting nothing done will make me even more depressed.

I look at the Stream of Annihilation stuff that Wizards is putting out – announcing the Tomb of Annihilation campaign book, and the Xanathar’s Guide to Everything supplement book — which all look AMAZING – and it only reminds me that, without a job, I cannot afford to spend money on stuff like that. Joy.

It’s like my mind knows the things that make me happy, and is actively working to poison them for me, and make me not want anything to do with them. But where does that get me? Certainly not happy. Does my brain want me to be unhappy? If so, why? That’s not going to help either of us.

Anyway, that’s part of why there still hasn’t been any new content on here lately. I’m attempting to get through this funk of mine, and hope to be enjoying D&D again here soon. That way, I can be invested in delivering new stuff for you.