1. You have to be a guy. (Sorry, girls; for objectification of the fairer sex we direct you to the majority of our compatriots in the sidebar.)

2. You have to run or contribute substantially to a sports blog. (Exactly what constitutes “substantial” will be determined on a case-by-case basis by the Ladies…, and not open to appeals.)

3. You will submit one (1) recent photo, of you, in focus, that gives a good look at your face and any other assets you wish to emphasize, and one (1) link to a post you feel best represents your superiority as a writer.

4. The Ladies… will spend what’s sure to be a delightful few days judging your sweet asses, and come up with a field, the size of which will be a multiple of four and determined by the quantity and quality of entries.

5. We’ll post our choices in bracket form, and here’s where the real fun begins. Voting for each round will take a couple days. Cheating, shenanigans, and ballot-stuffing are encouraged, especially if they’re undertaken in a blatant and hilarious manner. We remind all entrants that we are susceptible to flattery.

6. Repeat as needed until the champion emerges, to be showered with florid prose (by us) and mocked roundly (by the losers) until next year. Given proper incentive, we may even scare up a couple prizes.

And that’s it. Please direct all submissions to ladiesdotdotdot@gmail.com. You have until 11:59 PM PDT, Friday, May 11.

Go.

*(subject to change without notice at our whim. girls are fickle. affirmed.)

You guys know that I’ve been emailing peeps all over the place right? Guys who I think are brillant writers and find them hot even though I have no idea what they look like?

It’s how StarterBoyfriend won me over. I thought he was just ok after our first date, (we had been set up by friends), but then he started sending me the most glorious emails every day and I loved his writing style so much I fell in love.

Too bad I don’t technically qualify as a sports blogger. More of a sports blog lurker if anything. Getting a question in on Simmons’ last chat is probably the closest I’ll ever get to internet noteriety.

Is there any doubt that the final two are Mottram and Ufford??? I mean I may partake just for shits and giggles but maybe I won’t. My writing is subpar. I don’t have any pictures of me in eye black (yet) and I don’t like any of your teams. I don’t think my ego can take a 95% – 5% loss to Mottram in round one.

Considering we are 8 very different ladies from 8 very different walks of life and who grew up in 8 very different parts of the country… I don’t think there’s any way anyone can handicap who is going to win this race.

For example, if Roger Clemens was in this bracket, I can guaran-damn-tee you I’d be the only one voting for him. (He is HOT, I don’t care what y’all say- everyone else pretty much hates him with the fire of a thousand suns.)

There’s more to take into account than just looks and writing, too… Shanoff’s no slouch in either category, but his boundless enthusiasm for this endeavor since we came up with the idea months ago is winning him major early points.

Well, just let me know when y’all get a bracket for hot radio play-by-play guys, and I will nominate other people. While I am a radio play-by-play guy, I can’t claim any sort of hotness. I am funny, though.

I’ve always felt that giving good… email… was undervalued. It’s nice to see it getting its due here in winning you over. It takes a caring, energetic and attentive… writer… to pull it off — someone who says, “It’s the… readers… needs I’m thinking about most.” And if you’ve never experienced the “QWERTY Swirl,” you’ve been missing out.

I’m with MDG on this one……the brackets will be rigged in favor of the man candy. I just hope one of my diatribes on the impact of announcing on Western Civilazation will knock off one of the juggernauts.

Ladies, I’ll have to seriously consider entering the contest. I’ve liked being faceless on my blog, but who can resist the siren call of the ladies? Just promise me that stalker insurance is provided. Us hot bloggers need protection from the weirdos out there.

Mottram has been on TV multiple times. I have been in a small-town newspaper once, and they did not include my picture. Advantage: Mottram. There’s plenty of reasons for our healthy respect (and sneaky attempts to throw him under the bus once the competition is underway. :-p)

I still think Tebow’s the way to go, for the drama of saying with a perfectly straight face to whoever would be losing to you outright, “Whatever do you mean, that’s Tim Tebow? That, my friend, is your conqueror Orson Swindle. Look it up.”

(Let me get this out of the way: Swindle and Peter from Burnt Orange Nation have a considerable leg up on the competition by way of letting me cuss and Texy refuse to cuss on the radio every week. Adjust your lines accordingly.)

So considering I just started a blog, I’m guessing my entrance (and subsequent trouncing of the rest of the field) is inevitable. Time to go make sure my tan is in full effect (thanks for something, Florida).

How can you not enter? For you guys to be ogled by these Ladies… should be an honor. Even if they make fun of you. Better to be made fun of by a beautiful woman than ignored. Everybody knows that. It’s Guy Rule #27. Every one of you guys needs to enter.

Well, at least some of us are happy to reveal our true identities via various events under the moniker “Pants Party”, but I guess it’s a bit different to do so on the ebays for all the world to see.

Of course, I am not a blogger, so I don’t count anyway. Mostly I contribute unfunny, witless statements to Deadspin comment threads. The remainder of my writings are patents, legal briefs and patent opinions, where wit and humor really count.

If I remember correctly (and the bourbon may have warped my memory)- this whole hot blogger thingie was conceived as a way to cleanse the Ladies… collective palettes after one of us instigated a lengthy discussion on sexing Chris Berman.

I know G-Money and SA have a severe dislike for my Alma Mater (UNC). I think the fact that more than one of the Ladies…hate a team for which I have undying loyalty is going to hurt me.

I’m just glad I haven’t told you about the time my mom (who has been a Longhorn) was at the Lone Star Showdown in 1981 at College Station wearing a giant hat that said “I’m an Aggie and I’m Proud of It.”

When are the WordPress gerbils eligible for free-agency? I ask, ’cause I think that Denton needs to pony up for ’em… I am surprised this nigh 200 comments post didn’t break WordPress, but since it didn’t, that speaks well to the engines of the blogonomy. Here, at least.

dr doom – if you’re sorry for spamming, cool. But apologizing for it doesn’t give you the right to try and inflict yourself on the ladies…
Glad you’re sorry but just stop trying to weasel your way into the bracket.
It’s worse than spamming.

Tex, I figured out how I can get my point back. Not only will I convince my alma mater to let your Horns win on Sept. 15 (tongue-in-cheek, obviously) but I’ll let you hold my wallet, too. There may or may not be two tickets to that game for you in it. That’s your choice.

I apologize for my virgin-blogish antics I just linked there because I don’t currently have a blog. I’m a dedicated reader of KSK, Deadspin, and Withleather, and if I was going to enter the contests I was planning on passing along one of my independent writing ventures.

You know, Andrea, the crazy thing about it is that I was getting pretty emotional about it as well. I almost cracked on the air a couple of times on the post-game show. It was definitely a little dusty in the Palace.

I’m debating over which article I should send as my best work for this competition. You Ladies… have seen most of my recent stuff, but one of my favorite articles was actually my very first relating to sports. I wrote it back in October after John Bunting got fired. Let me know if you think it’s good enough for the competition, or you like one of my other articles better.

At first I was dismayed that you limited it to sports blogs rather than, say, oh I don’t know, all blogs. But then your clear capacity as a fan of The Outfield (band, not field position) made me feel much better.

I am debating between a few here. Do you prefer a) a nice gay one on a bike ride, b) passed out with a magic marker penis on my face, 3) flying upside on a trapeze, or d) or the circa 1999 phish tour look.

I hope the writing part of the contest can’t be won on the strength of comments on this site alone, else extrapolater has won. That’s what I get for being distracted while preparing my bribes for the ladies… :-p

RUTS, God help us all, for so meekly submitting to the Ladies… request for pics. I try to excuse it off as a promotion-related expense for my site, I try to say that this will make me more well known…but frankly I’ve just put a picture of my face in the hands of ladies with proven skill at video-making and photoshop. God help us all, indeed.

TG – No doubt about it! But if it was obvious that someone was a Pats fan (hypothetically speaking, of course) I’m sure that person would pick up a lot of negative votes, and I certainly don’t need to handicap myself. Have fun at the game BTW.

A word of advice, Texas Gal- if you make a reference to Johnny Damon in Fenway Park, you must address him as “Captain Vagina.” A heckling fan behind me in the right field Budweiser section used it in 2005 (when Captain V. was still playing for Boston, no less), and now that he’s shaved his beard and plays for the Yankees, the nickname is even more appropriate.

Further, I suggest putting remote cameras in all of the entrants’ parents’ basements, to capture the bloggers’ reactions as they’re either not included in the field of 256, or are paired up against Will Leitch in the first round.

In fact, when I won my conference tournament (really, it’s just the guys on my block — I beat a mostly-toothless crackhead in the finals), I immediately started chanting “We Want Leitch! We want Leitch!” You know, Royal We and all that.

Pats fans, tread lightly. I am warning you now. For details, feel free to click my name and type in, oh, anything related to NE in the search field you’ll find. Go ‘head. You cannot fathom the level of hatred you are dealing with from this girl.

Quick recap: I am a fat, unattractive Patriots fan from New Hampshire who often fails in his attempts at humor and sometimes proves unable to string together more than two consecutive sentences in a sensical fashion.

I have been trying not to laugh too loud, because I find it impossible to explain this entire concept to my wife. But RUTS got me with this one:

“Further, I suggest putting remote cameras in all of the entrants’ parents’ basements, to capture the bloggers’ reactions as they’re either not included in the field of 256, or are paired up against Will Leitch in the first round.”

OMDQ – I’m assuming you can’t string sentences together in person, because you’re one of my main go-to guys for analysis (because I mostly just do the point-and-wonder maneuver – how did I get to be a sports blogger again?)

AA – Holly said she loves my site. As a result, I’m probably going to send her an embarassing picture of myself (current pictures only, right? Because honestly, I peaked at the age of three) in the near future.

Yes, men ARE easy.

Extra – I generally don’t even speak in real life. Grunting and pointing is usually sufficient.

Oh, god, the sports bloggers who weren’t hot enough NIT. I can’t wait to see the banner for that one.

I suspect The Ladies… are having about as much difficulty narrowing down the hot bloggers bracket as we at AA are having with the Douchebag Scale. Some difficult decisions to be made and some worthy entrants to be left out in either case. But at least if you get left out of the hot blogger bracket, you still have time to make your case to be in the Dbag list.

I’d like to nominate the two dudes from blog show and that guy at comcast who helps them out on the show. mottram, steinberg, and little. I think there is a picture of the three of them in the following post on the producer guys new blog.

Don’t worry, JP – wordpress does a linkback any time you link within the community. I don’t think you can control it aside from not writing a link. It lets the blog author know you are talking about them, which everyone likes.