Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I Voted Today

So I voted today. They gave me a sticker and everything. I ended up just going with Rick Santorum in the end (see what I did there?) because I still just have so many awesome jokes left, I don't want this Republican primary to end with Santorum falling out and us never hearing his name again for the rest of our lives. I think it's going to take at least four years before I get Santorum completely out of my system. And late night comedy, SNL, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, good gracious-- the freaking Colbert Report?? Those are going to be so unbelievably funny for four years. When the Titanic sunk, the band kept on playing. Noble of them, really. While this ship sinks, the comedians are going to keep on cracking jokes. It'll be beautiful.

And before I get that one inevitable commenter writing: "YOU SEEL OUT!! I KNEW IT! YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERTARIAN AND YOU VOTED FOR SANTORUM??? OMG OMG OMG," let me just stress that the paragraph above was all tongue-in-cheek humor... technically Santorum-in-cheek humor. Sarcasm, you guys. I voted for Ron Paul. I am very proud that I voted for Ron Paul. Thankfully, the humorous sticker above didn't apply today. I didn't vomit in disgust at my lack of choices. I had one real candidate to vote for, the only one that would actually diminish the size, role, and influence of the federal government as president, and everybody knows it.

A brief report on the experience: everyone at my voting location was incredibly cool, very nice, and very excited to see me and my two voting buddies (readers of this blog and dear friends of mine) coming out to vote, all young and full of enthusiasm for participatory democracy. No horror stories here.