Tee-hee! Forbes presents the fifteen richest imaginary persons in the world. (The accuracy of their valuations is up for debate, though -- how the fuck could Willie Wonka rank below Richie Rich? Yes, yes, Rich had the mansion with the giant robotic arm that extended from the roof to nab burglars, but the transluminary acceleration and Knid-proof shielding of Wonka's Great Glass Elevator would've given him monopolistic access to the distant planet Vermes and its vast mineral wealth...)

"I can't accept PayPal donations, though I'm moved if anyone was inclined to drop a few coins into my hat. If you're really, REALLY impressed, though, you can make a gesture of affection by SHOWERING ME WITH ANONYMOUS PRESENTS, via my Amazon Wish List!"