November 10, 2018

We Demand Our Lawyers to Perform Perfectly, That's Killing Them, And That's the Way It Is

The U.S. legal system is an adversarial one. Obviously, then, lawyers' losses become a public credential. The message is clear: Be perfect.

Yet, increasingly, research and experience are proving out that perfectionism can become what is being labeled "maladaptive." Those caught in that syndrome frequently face everything from physical health problems to suicide.

That's the Catch-22 for lawyers, who are cited as being major victims of maladaptive perfectionism. Yet, their own law firms, clients, the media, executive search firms, and critics of the legal profession closely monitor what is traditionally framed as "failure."

Fortune presents a major article on the perils of perfectionism gone too far. At Northwestern's Family Institute, Dr. Jessica Pryor is an expert in the disorder. The signs of its setting in range from withdrawal from others because of fear of judgment to procrastination due to the need to be certain of getting the task totally right.

The treatment can begin on the micro level. For example, the mindset is to be a bit less than perfect in daily life. Leave the home office desk cluttered. Then it sinks it that the world didn't collapse because a self-imposed rule had been broken.

One lawyer who had been a client for my marketing communications services made progress in being less than perfect by giving up on the magical thinking of being a perfect husband, father, and in-law. Not only did his family relationships get a little better. His firm attracted more new business. What I observed is that he was more accessible because he wasn't wound so tight.

Meanwhile, however, every misstep by lawyers can be held against them. Clients are an especially unforgiving bunch. Legal malpractice lawsuits are no longer rare. That is despite the reality that those lawsuits are difficult to win. Clearly, the price of perceived imperfection for lawyers is high, just as it is for medical doctors.

Takeaway: The burden is on lawyers for how to wrap their heads around the need to appear perfect and how dangerous that pursuit can be.

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