This trinity of events had forced me to face sobering realities and emotions I’ve too long buried. I’d already had two breakdowns earlier this year, and now I found myself falling further into despair.

Before I go on, I need to tell you something about me few outside my inner circle of offline relatives and online writer friends know.

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism, and while most people who are familiar with or know someone with autism, associate it being a learning impediment, it’s also a social disorder.

One of the issues I have when the media highlights autism, they only highlight the extreme cases, kids who can’t speak, struggle walking, unable to feed themselves, etc.

But RARELY (if ever) do people like me ever get even an honorable mention.

I can talk (albeit I sound like a chipmunk auctioneer and have to work at slowing down my speech), I certainly can walk, and I don’t need people to feed me, and I frankly I’ve been cooking my own meals since my teens.

I don’t normally talk about my personal life on T.A.A., except in these occasional letters to you, my readers, and I’ve been very careful who I tell about my Asperger’s.

One of the misnomers about people on the autism spectrum is that we’re developmentally stuck at the toddler level, while that’s sadly true for some kids, teens and adults with autism, it’s not my story.

This is part of why I’ve had a hard time being at peace with having Asperger’s.

While I don’t deny it, I get frustrated when people confuse ANY negative feeling I have or express as being caused by my Asperger’s.

Like I’d NEVER feel negative emotions or get angry if I didn’t have a mental disorder.

You don’t have to have stage 4 terminal brain caner to be afraid of death.

You don’t have to be abused to feel powerless and alone in your pain, be it physical, mental or emotional, or some combo thereof.

Your parents (or parental figures) don’t have to be negligent or uncaring to feel distant from you at times.

So why do too many people think that just because you have a mental disorder of any kind, everything negative is solely the fault of your disorder?

Yes, autism or other mental disorders color people’s reactions to a point, but I’m still a human being, and human beings feel anger, sadness and pain whether or not they have a mental disorder.

I’m allowed to be sad. Asperger’s or not.

I’m wired for anger. Asperger’s or not.

I’m meant to be a human being. Asperger’s or not.

That said, I now realize I can underestimate how deep my Asperger’s effects and hinders the progress I want to make as a writer and in life.

It certainly didn’t help that my mother (who has Schizophrenia) often manipulates those around her, including me, her own son, and especially my grandmother (her mother).

I know it’s at least part of why I set overambitious goals or benchmarks for myself.

I don’t want to be the soulless jerk who uses their issues as an excuse to get away with treating people bad.

Essentially, playing the “Insanity Defense” often overused in the criminal justice system.

But I now have to acknowledge that my limitations are more challenging than I first wished to admit.

Because my grandmother raised me, and is beginning to decline, I put more pressure on myself to be self-reliant, not because I was in a hurry to marry or have kids (future dreams I fear I’ll NEVER be able to do because I lack what being a good spouse or parents needs) but for the practical reason that she won’t be here forever, and I’ve no one else in my family I can turn to for help emotionally, financially or otherwise.

This is also why I get easily enraged when I read countless accounts of people saying all negative feelings are “optional.”

That just doesn’t compute for me.

Yes, pain of some kind is inevitable, but contrary to this popular myth, suffering is NOT “Optional.”

We say it’s okay to grieve the loss of a parent, sibling, or family pet, right?

Well, part of grieving is SUFFERING. If they didn’t matter in our lives, we wouldn’t be sad when they die, just because they’re not human doesn’t mean we valued them less. Yes, the relationship and its expectations are different, but no less valid.

No, my dog Pepper dying (2001-2014) won’t have the same impact as my grandmother dying, but both were important to me, and I’m at peace with Pepper dying, but getting there with my grandmother (who again raised me when my mother could not) will be a LOT longer a process to reach the same level of peace.

Just as writers are told not to rush the nebulous process, we can’t rush grieving, and grieving can’t exist with some degree of SUFFERING.

Those who say otherwise are either in denial, or have a faith (be it spiritual or devoutly religious) so strong it gives them an anchor to ensure they don’t collapse entirely.

People say worrying it’s a useless emotion.

I don’t agree.

I think in the best conditions (barring chronic paranoia), worry is a cue from our subconscious to think about something or someone other than yourself.

Yes, we can overly worry about ourselves, but that’s a separate issue.

This is also barring noteworthy exceptions like the often preached “put your oxygen mask first” thing, someone truly self-centered wouldn’t think of other’s needs at all, and thus not worry about them.

While it’s not helpful to worry all the time, it can remind us that we care about someone or something bigger than (or other than) ourselves.

You don’t have to be a paranoid/neurotic “Helicopter parent” to want your kids be safe, right?

If we’re worried about the safety of a close friend, relative or spouse, it may not fix anything, but it reminds us that we’re not always looking out for ourselves.

Sure, no one likes to be (or be around) a extremist worrywart, but neither do we wish to be around an arrogant, self-obsessed jerk either, right?

Just as there’s a BIG difference between self-obsession and self-worth, there’s just as wide a gap between a passive worrywart versus an proactive empathizer.

To say it’s optional is to dismiss all negative feelings we experience as humans I feel is a DANGEROUS and extremist mindset to condition someone with.

I didn’t choose to have Asperger’s, but I have it, I can’t get rid of it, but nor can I pretend it doesn’t effect me.

Plus, for those of you with devout faith as you anchor, how can you argue against negative feelings when God designed us to have them?

Just because we can’t change something doesn’t mean it doesn’t effect us, nor does it mean we can will it away or pretend it doesn’t exist.

Sometimes I think we tell people to “let go” or “move on” we’re in effect telling people to be androids with ZERO autonomy.

But that’s just as unrealistic as expecting a toddler to run the Boston Marathon with the composure and stamina of an Olympic-Class athlete.

Even the iconic “Rugrats” couldn’t pull that off, short of a daydream sequence.

This is probably what I feel most at odds with having been raised Christian.

While I’m in no way excusing myself or others who do less than helpful things amidst feelings of pain and mental collapse, I don’t believe everything we say or do is ALWAYS a conscious choice, and nor do I believe we can command our emotions anymore than we can command the weather.

Yes, we all can be overly fixated on less than helpful things, but I often think we confuse self-control with being inhuman.

Do we have to kill someone we’re mad at? Of course not.

But can we turn the anger off with the ease of a light switch? NO.

Does every sad thing that happens illicit a tear-riddled breakdown? NO.

But is telling someone to “quit being a baby” helpful?

Unless you’re hyper-masculine, NO.

You don’t have to be a baby to feel the need to cry.

We also have to remember that crying in ACTUAL babies/toddlers is their primary form of communication, when people beyond the infant/toddler years cry, it’s our way of releasing intense emotion, not only when we’re physically or emotionally hurt, but even when we’re HAPPY.

Though those “Happy Tears” don’t happen nearly as often as the tears from pain.

That may not be what some “Tough Love: Type-A Pragmatists” want to hear, but it’s the truth for many, including myself, and unlike me, you don’t have to have (insert mental illness here) to feel that way.

I’ve done and said my share of stupid things because of my inherently emotional nature, my temper, and simply not thinking things through.

But it’s these same hyper emotions that allow me to see things others around me don’t. Even if I can’t live up to the serene, selfless and quite demeanor my grandmother modeled for me, doesn’t mean she failed instilling those values in me, I just don’t access them as easily as her.

It’s not just because she’s had 60+ years to practice these principles, it’s also her nature to not be as volatile in her emotions as me, that’s just as valid a point to make.

That doesn’t make you a petty, bratty monster, that makes you HUMAN.

I’m in no way justifying the times I’ve (unmeaningly) hurt people or got things wrong, but to dismiss my pain as “optional” is like telling a child he’s a “demon” for teasing his sister.

Of course, teasing his sister isn’t nice, but neither is demonizing a child who feels jealous toward his sibling, and we all feel jealous at times, but that doesn’t mean we’re Satan’s apprentice, either.

The trick is helping the jealous sibling find ways to express his feelings of envy in ways that don’t discount him, without scarring either the siblings or the parents (or parental figure[s]) involved.

A writer friend who helped me during similar dark times in my life says, “You can express the negative without being negative.” She’s right.

I don’t always succeed at this ideal, and I still feel it’s a nebulous fortune cookie saying at times, but it is possible.

Anyway, part of why I’ve been MIA on the blog since June is because of my previous mental episodes, and after last week’s breakdown, I took the first steps to get back into therapy, and because of the bureaucratic red tape that is the U.S. health care system (in Michigan if not America at large) the process won’t start until the end of August 2015.

I’ve had to put the blog and all my future book reviews on hiatus.

You can still find me on Twitter (via @TAA_Editor and @Taurean_Watkins), but much of T.A.A.’s day to day operations are on indefinite hiatus, and our YouTube Channel will have fewer new videos for some time.

This was not an easy decision to come to, but while I know I’ll lose momentum I always struggled to build, in the long run better that than lose any semblance of sanity I have left.

Sometimes doing the right thing for our personal growth/salvation clashes with what’s good for business, and this is the crossroads I’m at now.

As scared as I am about how I’ll take care of myself financially (and my ultimate goal is to grow T.A.A. as a media brand that alongside my author career would ideally feed me creatively AND financially to some significant extent) I have to put my sanity above all else.

Thanks to all who’ve reached out to me on Twitter and Facebook, and for those of you who’re loyal patrons of my “Bites From The Cheese Shop” newsletter. I know you’ve not recieved a new letter in weeks.

I don’t like breaking commitments, and without making excuses, understand that I don’t want to flood your inbox with anything that’s less than my base standards of providing whatever value I can muster.

This flies in the face of a lot of people who say “engage your list every day or week” but sometimes that’s not possible.

So, all that said, this isn’t “Goodbye forever”

just “Goodbye For Now.”

The title of this letter is “Finding Joy and Strength Amidst Crisis” and you might be rightly wondering. where’s the joy in what I’ve shared?

At this point, my joy comes from the fact that in spite of the pain I faced last week especially, and all of my 28 years of last week, I’ve never once wanted to kill myself.

I never used drugs or alcohol to medicate myself, but I’m guilty of using food for this purpose, thankfully not to deadly extremes.

I consider that a testament to how much strength I do have that others worse of than me don’t, and I say it not to brag to those of you who have used these or other unhealthy self-medicating things, but only to put my own struggles in perspective.

I happily spared myself and, by association my family, the pain of becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict common in my family.

But they’ve had to bear the brunt of of my hyper-emotional, raging temper, and traumatic outbursts I’m not proud of nor excuse, but I also can’t erase from my biogenetic makeup.

Though they may look like childish outbursts for those on the outside of living with mental illness, these aren’t the same kinds of outbursts an actual child has.

I’m not whining for not getting candy or a video game (I still like those things, of course, but not getting them won’t depress me), I just can’t deal with everything in a serene, cool and calm manner.

I used to think I was a hopeless child, even though I’m not a child anymore, despite what some people over 30 often felt.

Often as kids and teens we’re taught to “count out” our madness, but the kind of anger and rage I feel I can’t be counted away.

I’ve gotten as far as #50 and while I’m less inclined to destroy furniture, that’s as far as it goes.

I used to think that made me defective, but I now realize that my Asperger’s prevents a lot of common practices to regulate my emotions from working.

It doesn’t mean counting doesn’t work for anyone.

It just doesn’t for me.

I don’t yet know what will work more consistently for me.

I just know counting down from madness isn’t my way.

I just hope we can find more strategies for those of us who have more volatile emotions like me.

This way we can spare those few people at our side at least some of our painfully potent emotions, that while we can’t turn off, we can lessen the impact, and to remind us that we’re not heartless monsters, even if our “not always 100% in our control” actions can look as such.

Still, I can’t help but smile when I think of how the school of thought used by the kids of “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.”

Pub. Date: May 5th, 2015

While on a trip to the museum, Otter becomes enthralled, (and just so you know, Otter [she comes around here sometimes, and I’m honored], many awesome paintings are made today, post the invention of crayons, just saying…)

But once at the space exhibit, Otter had discovered her newest passion: Space!

In particular, a fascination with the moon, and while scoring some stellar souvenirs from the museum’s gift shop, she was unable to get a commemorative moon rock.

Of course, Otter doesn’t give up, and after AGES of deep thought, she has a notion: Why not just snag the real deal?

So, with Teddy in tow, Otter begin preparations for her lunar mission…

Sam Garton’s illustrations have this warmth and charm about them that ground you in the world.

You always feel Otter’s “Always on the Move” spirit on every page.

Like in her debut book, Otter tells her story to us, first person POV is rarely used in picture books given it can read awkward;y when the reader is most often a parent or other adult, but like Eloise, it just works, and really, who than Otter herself better to tell us *“Pretty Much” exactly how it happened.

(*Bonus Points if you can guess in the comments what show I’m referencing. Hint, it involves pink hair and “Thinking Big.”)

Dempsey and I are big fans of Otter, before we knew of her first book’s release, we met her on Twitter (We’re they’re, too, via @Swinebert_and_D) ,

and from there it’s been history in the making… I’m happy to report Otter’s new book is just as awesome as the first! It also reawakened memories of playing astronaut as a young piglet. I dreamed of being the first pig in space.

I didn’t achieve that dream, but I hope I live to see who will be the first pig in space, and despite certain propaganda on the web stating otherwise, we’ve yet to have pigs in space, may that change someday.

If I hear about the first otter in space, I’ll be sure to let my pal, Otter, know. (*Wink*)

My nephew Trug is a big fan of Otter, too, in fact, he had a MAJOR crush on her, but after bravely sharing his love letter to Otter (and the world), she turned him down, but he’s feeling a lot better about it now.

Dempsey Woyzeck

I have two nieces who LOVE Otter as much as S.B. and I do, and thanks to my knowing her (if only virtually) I’ve been dubbed the

Check Out “What The ‘Critters’ Say” About “Otter In Space”

Check Out The

OFFICIAL Trailer –

Jacob’s New Dress

Pub. Date: March 1st, 2014

Jacob, like many kids loves to play pretend, and dress-up, being someone else for a time.

What set Jacob apart is that instead of pretending to be dinosaurs, dragons or superheroes, he liked to play princesses, something fellow classmate Christopher (a “typical boy”) doesn’t get, and when kids don’t get something, it’s grounds for ridicule.

Luckily for Jacob, his friend and fellow classmate Lily gets him, and at home, he could fully be himself, dress and all.

But even when Jacob wasn’t playing the princess, he felt more free in a dress than typical boyish wear.

Before I go any further, I want to commend co-authors Sarah and Ian Hoffman for having both courage and the conviction to tell this story, especially as it derived from personal experiences with their son.

Illustrator Chris Case really gave the visuals in this book a raw vibrancy that I’m always a fan of book covers that show off the most unique or dare I say, controversial aspects front and center.

When I first saw the cover last year I thought, “Work it, Jacob, this is your truth, own it!”

We need more boys like Jacob, to be themselves unapologetically, whatever that looks like for any of us.

Just like “Jacob’s New Dress”, “Tiara Saurus Rex” has a twist, a beauty pageant (a classic storytelling device among girls) starring dinosaurs, often depicted as a boy-centric obsession.

I could imagine this is one of the “after hours” activities the offspring of the “employed dinosaurs” and other prehistoric wildlife from “The Flintstones” might have.

Well, I couldn’t see Dino stomping (Or in his case, SPRINTING) on the catwalk, but him being a family pet versus a working critter, that’s understandable…

Among the many hopefuls, Tina (the T-Rex diva glamming it up on the cover) is the most confident she’ll win it all, and without spoiling the ending, let’s just say Tina’s got some stiff competition, and through it all, just might make a new friend instead of a bitter rival.

Forget shows like “Toddlers in Tiaras” or “Dance Moms” for a moment.

Pageants don’t have to be vicious war zones anymore than little league has to be a precursor to your child’s MLB prospects. Nor should it be.

With all due respect to serious young athletes who want to go pro, some of us just want to have fun and be fairly fit, okay?

I love that this book takes cues from child-centric pageants, and certainly influences of the iconic “Miss America” pageant sneak their way in, but retrofitted for the starlets-in-training, and Mike Boldt’s illustrations uses a splendid color palette that’s less “pinky” than you might suspect.

While I personally don’t have issues with the color pink in general (it’s my second favorite color after red), I know it can be a “touchy subject” for some, wherever you are on the gender spectrum, and I’ll just leave it at that.

“Tiara Saurus Rex” does for pageantry what “Dinosaur Train” does for the dino-lovers in general, and the sciences in particular, entertains and delights to the 10th power, and then some.

Speaking of Dinosaur Train, I’d think Shiny Pteranodon would ADORE this book if it existed in her era. (Yes I’ve seen the show, so I know her character fairly well, so there! LOL)

Welcome to the second edition of “Panel by Panel” where my pal Dempsey and I chat about out one of our many passions-COMICS! (and graphic novels)

Dempsey: This week, S.B., myself and our friend (and podcast director/producer), Taurean J. Watkins (aka “The Literary Rat), review Steven Universe, not the show (though we definitely will get to that) but the comics based on said show-

Steven Universe: Vol. 1-5

Publisher: kaboom!

From Taurean J. Watkins

I fell in love with “Steven Universe” since it debuted on Cartoon Network over a year ago.

For those out of the loop (esp. those of you gave up on CN YEARS ago, but need to check back in for this one if nothing else) it’s about a kid who is half-human and half-gem, “Gems” are otherworldy beings with human-like forms, and that’s all I can share on that front without spoiling the story for you.

The series follows the adventures of our titular character, and three of the of the “Crystal Gems” who protect Earth from intergaltic threats (Thematically, a mix of “The Secret Saturdays” and “The Fantastic Four“).

(Left, “The Secret Saturdays, Right, Fantastic Four)

Garnet, the strong sem-silent type.

Amethyst, the free-spirited/scrappy foodie, also the youngest of the three, and Pearl, the level-headed, logical and slightly over-protective “Mother Hen” of the group.

The fourth was Rose-Quartz, the former leader of the Crystal Gems, and Steven’s mother, who (again for story reasons I won’t spoil here) passed on her powers to Steven, who slowly begins to awaken them and learn where he fits within the Crystal Gems, who act as his guardians/mentors in differing ways, and the humans who live in small costal metropolis of Beach City.

It’s the kind of show I rarely see much anymore, and was plesantly surprised to find on Cartoon Network especially.

This is one of the rare departures in CN’s series roster that has an overarching plot it’s building toward, while also having entertaining side stories weaved in.

While there are plot throughlines in Adventure Time, they’re more convoluted (esp. from season 4 onward), open-ended, and move at a slower pace.

If you like an overarching storyline, that’s a little loose in how it’s told (versus a more tradtionally lineral tale) this is the show for you!

It’s got it all: Multi-demenstional characters. A world with rooted back story that’s shared bit by bit when relevant. Action, drama, comedy, romance, and ocasional improptu musical moments that don’t feel either annoying or overdone.

It also naturally has a diverse cast of characters

(both in terms of ethnicity, age, life stage and personality) without coming off fake or forced.

In many ways “Steven Universe” is for Cartoon Network what “Avatar: The Last Airbender”

(and it’s sucessor, “The Legend of Korra”)

did on Nickelodeon, takes the world and its characters seriously (no matter how offbeat and quirky they may be), gives them respect, but still has fun with them along the way.

(Top, Avatar: The Last Airbender – Books 1-3,

Bottom, The Legend of Korra – Books 1-4)

I highly recommend it to viewers who want something with a more defined plot, that moves a fair bit faster. On that note…

When I heard back in Summer 2014 there’d be a comic series based on the show, I was really skeptical, as these adaptations can go horribly wrong, something us book nerds at T.A.A. know all too well (RE: Books adapted to movies)

But I’m happy to say that for the first five volumes in, the team at kaboom!/BOOM! Studios have blown me away!

They nail the characters on all points, the dialogue, their mannerisms, and especially important for this series, the sizable supporting cast doesn’t get short-changed while centering on our gem-tastic quartet.

The bits with Steven and Lion in volumes 2 and 5 are especially touching/hilarious (for PEANUTS fans, think of the scenes with Lucy and Snoopy and you get an idea of what I mean).

I also love how they reference specific elements or episodes of the show without ailenating newcomers, but still reward long-time “Steventhusiasts” such as myself.

I’m also impressed how they use varying illustration styles throughout, often matching the tone of the story/vingette in each volume: Wispy and detailed for the warm fuzzy stuff, loose and super-stylized for the super-funny/quirky stuff, and something right in the middle when all the above are present in one story.

They all feel right and close in spirit to the art style in the series proper, but different enough so that it doesn’t have that generic feel like some comic adaptations of characters who aren’t native to the comics/graphic novel space.

Plus, I love the “Manga-Inspired” color spreads in-between the various stories in each volume. For those who LOVE the color spreads of “One Piece” and “Naruto” you’re in for a treat.

My only technical nitpick is that the speech bubbles can a bit hard to read, not so much the fonts they choose, but rather I think they can be a bit bigger to make for easier reading, but it’s a minor gripe for what is a stellar (so far) take on the world and characters.

Swinebert’s Thoughts

Like Taurean, Dempsey and I are BIG “Steven Universe” fans, and we too were skeptical of how the comics would fare, but after Taurean read/vouched for them, D and I jumped in, and we agree,

they ROCK! The comics totally capture the heart of the show and run their own creative stroke through it to stellar efffect.

Dempsey’s Thoughts

To get a little metaphorical, the characters in Steven’s “Universe” have a lot of paralells with my family.

No, we’re not a team of warriors weilding anicent magic, but the family dynamics of the Woyzeck Clan and Steven’s nontradtional family certainly have overlap.

(Langley Woyzeck, Dempsey’s Older Brother)

My brother Langley and I fight a lot, kind of like Amethysyt and Peral, only Langley’s not as goofy and isn’t quite as food crazy as me and S.B. are, and I used to be more uptight similar to Pearl, but I’ve lightened up in recent years.

(Dominic Woyzeck, Dempsey’s Dad)

My dad and I have differing personalites and tastes, but we both LOVE Steven Universe, and while we used to be distant, we’re as close as Steven and his dad, though mine’s a tad more relaible and as smart as he is kooky!

My favorite story was where Steven and his friend Connie are trying to raise money give Beach City a new library and how Pearl’s neatnik ways lead to hilarious results!

I also loved how Pearl and Connie had an exchange on how “realistic” a book character should be portrayed, Swinebert and I had such a debate once, thankfully I didn’t grill S.B. too much…(LOL!)

Swinebert: We’re also going to do more video for T.A.A.’s YouTube channel, I’m doing a solo video series called “Swinebert Says” where I riff on my life in minerature. I do that on me and D’s Twitter account sometimes, and use #SwinebertSays, when I can fit it in! (LOL)

Dempsey: For me, I’m also doing a similar solo videos series called

“Life According To Dempsey” where like Swinebert, I also riff on my life, but also share bits about my family I don’t always share in other channels.

I sometimes do on Twitter and use #LifeAccordingToDempsey,

and like S.B., I can’t always fit that hash tag in, and mine’s WAY longer!

(Forepaw to Forehead)

Taurean: I can relate, I’m always battling length and engagement on Twitter, so I hear you both on that! What else are you working on?

(Swinebert & Dempsey’s “Hog Wild World Tour”

[TEASER] – Talking Animal Addicts on YouTube)

Swinebert: We’re also working on our first web series that chronicles our “World Tour Holiday” we went on last year, and I know the production of that’s been slow on your end, but we know it’ll be worth the wait.

Dempsey: Right you are, S.B., this was not only a fun trip, but is also changed our family (incl. our humans) in BIG ways, and we can’t wait to share the amazing life changes that occured because of our trip last summer.

Taurean: Thanks so much for taking time to chat with me.

Swinebert: Our pleasure, you’re as much a part of our family as you are our director/producer/PR guy.

Dempsey: Agreed, we look forward to sharing more with T.A.A. in the near future.

Taurean: Can you tell me about your fellow pet friends? What are they like?

Swinebert: Sure! We’ve got tons of them, but the ones we’re most tight with our next door neighbors: Clarke, a Jack-Russell mix (OBSESSED with aviation and motorcycles), and his feline roomies, Chuck and Lilac.

(Left, Clark, Right, Chuck and Lilac – Neighbors)

Swinebert: There are the squirrels who live in our backyard. At first, we were enemies after the prize acorns that grow in the many oak trees in our backyard. We’ve long since resolved that and became friends.

It took them a lot longer to warm up to Dempsey, his being a cat and all, they worried he’d try to hunt them down, but

(The Backlot Squirrels – From Left to Right:

Little Wally, Mac, Hazel, and Filbert)

Swinebert: We also have plenty of family who live in White Oak Acres. While we of course consider our humans (and their kin) family, I’m talking about our non-human relations-

(Swinebert’s Nephew, Trug)

Swinebert: For me there’s my darling nephew, Trug, as our regulars know, and his folks: my brother, Ross, and my sis-in-law, Flair. My Ma, Pa and two kid sisters live back on the ranch where I was born. I video chat with them three times a week, and we visit each other when we can.

My Grand-Hog Wes lives at the ranch, too, but he’s always traveling, even at his age, he rarely slows down. I hope I’m that gutsy in my golden years!

Dempsey: For me, most of the Woyzeck clan live in various parts of the U.S. and Europe. I have to give a nod to my Uncle Briggs, my dad’s adoptive hedgehog brother. He lives in another town, but visits us often.

(Left, Dominic, Dempsey’s Dad. Right, Dempsey’s Uncle Briggs)

On that note, my sister Nina’s also adopted, but she’s not a cat, or a hedgehog-she’s a goat.

(The Woyzeck Family – From Left to Right:Dempsey, Langley, Nina, Dominic and Claire)

Taurean: Sure, please proceed.

I also love shows that have food at the center: Antique Bakery, Toriko, and I’m So PSYCHED that Yakitate Japan’s anime is coming stateside!

Dempsey : For my part I LOVE shows where you learn stuff, like “Modern Marvels.” and “Bill Nye The Science Guy” DVDs that’s both fun and informative. But I also love fun documenterary-style series stuff like “Unlikely Animal Friends.” If you think Swinebert and me are an “Odd Couple”, some of the unions formed between varting species are even more out there, and seriously, I’m surprised Disney hasn’t optioned some of these stories for film.

They need to do more of the cool animal films they had in the 60s, 80s and 90s again!Anway, my girfriend Celeine and I are both big fans of “Too Cute” and “Inuyasha.”

Taurean: So what are some shows you both like?

Swinebert: We’re both fans of “Sailor Moon”

(we’re both die hard romantics),

Naurto, One Piece,Avatar: The Last Airbender

(the non-James Cameron version)

and “The Legend of Korra.”

Taurean: What books do you think would make a great film or animated series that don’t yet have one?

Swinebert: Otter, like you, D and I are big fans, we first met Otter on Twitter (@i_am_otter), and we’re looking forward to her two books in 2015!

Even though Otter turned him down(and he’s still perplexed about why she offered instead to set him up with Giraffe…)I was nevertheless impressed with his courage. The game of love, despite how cynical, comical and downright trvial we portray it, is NOT a game for wimps.

Like most things in life, it takes the guts of an olympian athlete, the , and the blindless optomism that’s easier for kids like Trug(with so much life ahead of him)than folks like me, who while nowhere near my final years, sometimes have a harder time keeping the faith.

After all, I’ve had many crushes, a couple serious relationships, yet nothing steady at the moment.

As I said then and still stand by now, he’ll make the one who finally does look his way a happy mate.

For my own part, I still believe that I will find a sweetie sow who makes my piggy heart skip a beat, and feeling my trotters are strolling on clouds.

While it’s never fun to come up short: be that flunking a test you actually studied for, , or as in in Trug’s case “Not getting the girl’“

Dempsey: “Varjak Paw” needs to be a movie, and an awesome one! I like how the book has the action of “Warriors” but does it’s own thing.

But I’d be open to an animated series if it was done right and they don’t stretch the story too thin in an episodic format.

Apparently, it was optioned at one point,

but nothing came of it.

Someone PLEASE make this film (or animated series) before I’m out of my nine lives!

(Covers for “Varjak Paw” and

“The Outlaw Varjak Paw”)

(Panel By Panel: with Swinebert & Dempsey Logo)

Taurean: As some T.A.A. fans know, we just launched “Panel by Panel” our comics/graphic novel column where you guys, and myself, review titles and discuses trends and opinions about this vibrant medium.

(Steven Universe Intro –

Cartoon Network on YouTube)

[The Literary Rat DARES you to sing-along…]

Taurean: I know on Facebook, you’ve professed your love for “Steven Universe.” I’m a fan, too, and I recently checked out the comics put out by “BOOM Studios“, and I was skeptical at first, but they blew me away!

Swinebert: We felt the same way at first, though we were excited when we first learned about them last summer (before new episodes of the series resumed after a LONG break where we feared it was canceled) , we’ve been burned by bad comic versions of television shows or films we love.

But when we heard what you had to say about the comics, we gave them a go for ourselcves. As a fellow “Steventhusiast” we knew we could trust your vouching for them.

(Steven Universe: Comics #1-#5, BOOM Studios)

Dempsey: We’ve read the first 5 books and knew we had to review these for “Panel by Panel” so you’ll have to wait and see what we thought…

To Be Continued…

Check back next Sunday for part 3 of my chat with Swinebert & Dempsey…

You’ll learn more about what they’re planning just for T.A.A. fans! A sneak peak of what they’re working on next, and a whole lot more!

Maddy Kettle

(Book 1): The Adventure of the Thimblewitch

Pub. Date: September 30th, 2014

Swinebert: Yo Chicks and Chickies! Welcome to the first edition of “Panel by Panel” where my pal Dempsey and I chat about out one of our many passions-COMICS! (and graphic novels)

Dempsey: When our friend (and podcast director/producer),Taurean J. Watkins (aka “The Literary Rat), approached us to be on his reviews team, we knew we wanted to do comics, and it was unanimous what our first book would be…

Something that I think has held some comics and graphic novels back is feeling they have to been in one camp versus another.

You either have to be “Funny” or “Dark and Brooding” but they can’t be both or a middle ground between the two.

Every reader wants something a bit different, and for me, generally speaking, I gravitate to books that can make me laugh, but they’re also not afraid to get serious when the story demands and deserves it.

Even when you’re writing about steampunk flying machines, witches and pipe-smoking critters, there is still a level of seriousness that the reader can take seriously in the context of the story’s world, the less it’s like ours, the more crucial that is.

(Naruto Vol. 5/Naruto Vol. 28,

One Piece Vol. 11/One Piece Vol. 61)

Series like “Naruto” and “One Piece” are great examples of this.

Like the series above, this book has a very distinct art style, the mural-like compostion is apparent from the cover onward, the panels are clearly defined without looking sterile.

I love the use of shadow and light at play, and the soft rounded/angular look to the characters.

Even the clouds have their own distictive look, slightly reminiscent of those old school cloud trails via 1930s cartoons with a slight nod to the psychedelic 60s in terms of color shading. This mix of bright colors and mural-style presentation made the book feel modern yet retro in the good sense of the latter.

My road to reviewing “Maddy Kettle” is an intersting one.

Often writers debate amongst themselves if social media is worth their time, and if so, what platforms make sense for them.

I know many of my favorite authors simply aren’t interested in social media or simply find it too much of a time suck that would prevent them from writing actual books, they don’t even have a basic website (which I think even the most luddite folks need, but I’m not getting on that soapbox here! LOL).

But for me, I would likely never have learned about “Maddy Kettle” had I not been on Twitter and started connecting with artist-author Eric Orchard (@inkybat on Twitter), at least not as soon as I did.

There really is a skill to reading comics and graphic novels. Just as there is great skill in crafting them in the first place.

From developing the story, scripting the dialogue, drawing the art (or hiring the illustrator if the author’s not also the illustrator, the latter a lot more common in the comics/graphic novel space than picture books), and bringing it all together in the final book we buy.

As an author myself, I know firsthand that some of the hardest things to pull off, look the most effortless to lay readers, and from the cover onward, you can feel the care and attention that went into this book.

Swinebert’s Thoughts

Back in Fall 2014, when I got my hooves on “Maddy Kettle”I knew from the first few pages this was a book I’d always cherish, and the fact that it’s the first of a multi-volume series only has me jonesing for the next installment.

Side Note: Since Dempsey and I first connectedwith artist/author Eric Orchard on Twitter, we often wondered where his *handle “Inkybat” came from, and after reading “Maddy Kettle”, we now know…

[*Handle is another way of saying Nickname or Username.]

Anyway, back in late Summer 2014, my nephew Trug saw the cover (while D and I were conversing with the author on Twitter), he said, “Uncle Swinebert, to the bookstore, now!”

The book wasn’t out yet, but our pal and producer, Taurean J. Watkins, found the book on Net Galley, and after checking it out himself, he shared it with me and Dempsey, and I shared it with Trug, and here’s what he says-

“I’ve been in love since seeing the cover (back in August) I finally read it and it ROCKS! I’ll be on ‘Cloud Nine’ to get the next installment.”

-Trug Glockchester

Dempsey’s Thoughts

I LOVE heroes, or in this case HEROINES, like Maddy for many reasons.

First, she LOVES books, as do I, be they fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and (obviously) comics and graphic novels.

Second, she’s not afraid to take charge of a situation, even if those closest to her (such her overprotective yet thoughtful parents, who when this story begins are Kangaroo rats, more on that later…) would rather her take a “wait and see” approach, which in real life is sometimes the best move, but doesn’t nesscarially make for thrilling storytelling.

Third, she drives her own story, BUT, is not above getting help along the way.

While first-time entrepenuers often shout “It’s all about getting off your duff and being your own boss” most of us need SOME help from others to either just get started on reaching our goals, or after we’ve reached our goals, keep it going if’s something that requires ongoing commitment versus a one-time push that requires less hands-on proddling.

It’s like the difference between day camp versus a tradtional summer long camp.

Any leader worth his or her salt knows that while looking out for their team is essential, if you can’t also rely on the the team you’ve assembled or grew over time, you’re doing them and yourself a disserivce.

Just how we need to remember that every viewer or reader is an actual living being , not merely a statistic, we need to treat our team members with the same level of respect we’d want as the team leader.

Maddy has those qualities that allow her to take the lead, but not be arrogant during times she needs info she can’t get on her own.

That’s something we bookish types tend to have in common, our curious thirst for knowledge allows us to not feel above seeking council from others.

Asking for help isn’t the same is asking somone to “do it for you” and that’s the kind of nuance we don’t teach kids enough or at all.

This book shows that difference in a non-preachy manner, as the best stories speak for themselves (though that doesn’t make marketing them any easier for some of us).

Final Thoughts

Taurean: A spunky steampunk fairy tale with NOshortage of charm and wit.

Swinebert: Maddy Kettle is Acorn-Tastically OUT OF THIS WORLD!

Dempsey: A crackerjack start of what looks to be a hearwarming yet gutsy series.

FINAL NOTE FROM THE LITERARY RAT

Check out our fan book trailer for

“Maddy Kettle (Book 1):

The Adventure of the Thimblewitch”

Check back next time for another edition of

“Panel by Panel.”

Until then,

Keep reading,

keep doodling,

and be careful not to get a papercut!

UPDATE 3/31/15: T.A.A. recently learned Eric Orchard (creator of Maddy Kettle) is being hospitlized after a violent misunderstanding with police last night.

On behalf of Swinebert & Dempsey, and everyone at T.A.A., our thoughts and prayers go out to Eric and his family.

Taurean: It’s so great to finally have a proper interview with you guys.

Swinebert:Agreed, we’ve put this off for too long!

Dempsey: Truly, we’re looking forward to this.

Taurean: Okay, let’s get started. How did you two meet?

Swinebert: Our humans are friends, and decided to move in together, so by association, me and Dempsey became roomies.

Dempsey: We didn’t get along at first. We’d met many times before we all started living together.

But being in the same house meant the things we couldn’t stand about each other stood out more than when we only saw each other every now and then.

Taurean: What kind of things bugged you about each other?

Swinebert: Dempsey seemed like such a stick in the mud! He kept to himself a lot, always had his snout in a book, and didn’t say much to me, and when he did, it was usually because something I did was driving him nuts!

Dempsey: Swinebert has a very dynamic and impactful personality, as you well know…

His Brooklyn accent threw me for a loop in the beginning. He always sounded “angry” to me at first.

Now I know it’s just how he talks, and find it endearing.

Plus, once I knew how S.B. sounds when he’s actually angry, his normal speaking voice became all the more endearing to me.

Swinebert: Thanks, I think…

Taurean: What are your humans like? What do they do for a living?

(Swinebert’s Human: Ferenc Süto, left youth, right grown-up)

Swinebert: My human’s Ferenc Süto. He works in a café by day and goes to night school four times a week. His dream is to one day open his own restaurant.

Dempsey: My human’s Vermont, Vernie for short. He works in a bookstore. Like me he LOVES books!

He’s still not sure what he wants for a career, but his dream is to inspire teens who don’t read for fun, to learn that love for literature. He also works part-time at a pub once a week, usually a Friday.

Taurean: Dempsey, I know you’ve mentioned in videos recently you have a girlfriend. Mind sharing a bit about her?

(Cèline, Dempsey’s Girlfriend)

Dempsey: Sure! Cèline and I have been together almost 8 years. We first met at a pet parents potluck my human Vernie threw trying to connect with more pet parents to find potential pet-sitters for Swinebert and me in case our usual one can’t make it.

Swinebert: Cèline’s human became our back up pet-sitter, and she’ brought Cèline to our place. Her and D clicked *claps hooves* like that. She was kind of freaked out by me at first.

Being a city cat she’d never met a studly hog such as myself up close before. But we’re buds now.

Taurean: That’s good to know. Have you got a sweetheart of your own, Swinebert?

Swinebert: Not at the moment, but I hope that’’’ will change someday.

Dempsey: I know it will, S.B. Hang in there. It took me several years before Cèline and I met.

To be continued…

Check back next Sunday for part 2 of my chat with Swinebert and Dempsey…

You’ll learn more about their friends and family, their city/town, White Oak Acres, and what they’re planning just for T.A.A. fans!