Monday, May 9, 2016

I think it's nice knowing when you are going to have a baby, but then again I got so anxious and couldn't hardly wait for the end. I just knew by April 8th I wouldn't have to take my medication anymore, the heartburn would be gone, I wouldn't pee every 15 minutes, and I would be able to eat almost anything and not throw it up. On the flip side, I knew this would be the last time I would be pregnant and feel the movements of a baby inside and feel so close to the spirit after the arrival of one of our babies. It was bitter sweet the last few weeks. I became really emotional and cried a lot. I just kept praying with all my heart and might that she would be able to live with us on earth and she wouldn't be taken away so quickly like Andee. At times I came to be understanding if she had to leave and I would just have the 2 boys to raise, and I knew I would be heartbroken, but understand. Other times I would just beg Heavenly Father to please let her stay. I really wanted to have a little girl here on earth. I had the hardest time answering Dawson when he would ask, "Is Hazyn going to be able to stay with us? I really want her to." It's really hard to have faith in the priesthood blessings I received during the pregnancy. I went to bed many times repeating the words in my head that she would get here "healthy, safe, and grow strong."

Well, she did come! AND she did stay and continues to grow and become stronger everyday. Dawson still prays that she will be healthy and get to keep staying with us! For weeks the doctor had told us they needed to deliver her at 37 weeks because of my high blood pressure. We picked the 8th, which put me exactly at 37weeks, because it was a Friday and J.D. would have the weekend off. My mom took time off and planned to be here for a whole week after her birth. At 36 weeks, Dr. Rees said I was to a 4 and 90% effaced. He said if I didn't want her to come any earlier, I needed to stay down as much as possible the following week. So I did. I had so many contractions. Thursday at 3, my mom arrived and we talked her through everything she needed to know. Around 4, J.D. and I said our goodbyes to the boys and we headed up north. I must tell you that saying goodbye to those two little boys was so hard. I cried most of the way up north. We went shopping to get last minute essentials, and snacks for J.D. to have at the hospital. :-) We went to Choc's house and visited until 9. I finally called the doctor to find out the time they wanted me to come in.... 6:15am. We left with Choc to go eat and I started throwing up. I threw up all night long... I couldn't hardly eat. I tried to get a smoothy at Pot Bellies, but it didn't stay down for long.

We finally headed to Chet and Bobi Sue's to stay the night. I went straight to bed. All night I couldn't sleep and I was still throwing up. Finally 5:45 came and I hopped in the shower. J.D. woke up at 6 and rushed to get ready (his alarm didn't go off :/ and I got out of the shower just in time to wake him. We headed to the hospital and we were both feeling really nervous. I was doing kick counts on the way to the hospital! lol! We said a prayer and went in.

Our nurses the entire time were absolutely amazing. The labor and delivery nurse kept bringing J.D. meals and me ice chips. She got super sick like me when she was pregnant, so she was extremely sympathetic towards me. I threw up about 4 times before she finally came. The epidural went in so smooth and worked so fast. Finally around 12:20 I told J.D. to grab the nurse because I was feeling pressure. She came and I was to an 8! She said about 1 more contraction and I would be ready.

Sure enough, I told her about 1 minute later, "Ummmm Things are feeling different again." She looked and could see Hazyn coming. She called the doctor fast, and continued to prep. I started to feel Hazyn move down and yelled for the nurse to come. Sure enough again, she was coming out. So the nurse held my legs together until the doctor arrived about 5 minutes after calling him. He got ready so fast and we were ready. I pushed 4 times... I had to stop in between the first 2 pushed because the doctor didn't want me to tear. So he would say, "Stop Jenny and breathe out." Once she started to come all the way the doctor said, "Hurry! look Jenny! watch!" and I peeped up and got to see her come out. It was so amazing! She had so much hair!!! She wasn't crying at all until the doctor turned her around so I could see her face and she squealed so loud! Then she went silent again. She was so calm! It makes sense because that's how she was in the womb, always calm.

They put her on my chest and J.D. and I looked at each other, both of us tears coming down. We couldn't help but cry for happiness that she was here, cry for relief because she made it alive, cry because we had a little girl, cry because we knew it was the last time we would see that, and so on. So many emotions. At that moment, we thought of Andee as well and cried because we could feel her presence.

Hazyn is so perfect. 6 lbs 12 oz. 19 inches long, and just beautiful. Her hair is what everyone was talking about! Big blue eyes! Dark and tan just like Dawson. She looks so much like Dawson to me.

They took her and bathed her after we had some time to hold her and feed her.

She latched on immediately and ate so good! The nurses let us be alone for about an hour and it was exactly what we needed. Time with our sweet little Hazyn.

The world stopped for us as we took it all in.

J.D. finally got his turn and she recognized his voice immediately. She just looked at him and we could tell she knew who he was.

They made her name card and everyone kept commenting on how they loved her name.

Lynette and Shane were able to stop and see her on their way up north. Choc came immediately. My mom rushed to pick up Dawson from school before he got on the bus. Dawson said when the office called to his classroom to say his grandma was coming to pick him up, the whole class cheered because they knew the baby had arrived! Dawson was SO excited! The boys arrived and couldn't wait to see their sister.

Monty was a little hesitant and didn't want to come to us at first. But within a few minutes he wouldn't leave my bed and loved helping me hold her. J.D.'s parents came that evening and so did Jori and Danny. We forgot to get pics of everyone holding her, but what I can tell you is that everyone commented on her hair, her beautiful color, how small she was, how big her eyes were, and they loved saying Hazyn.

Jori said, "look at how limber her feet are!"

Meanwhile, my boys were enjoying the new environment and making the most of their time...

Needless to say, by the end of the night we were exhausted.

We went to bed and about 10:30 I was in tears because of the excruciating after birth pains. The nurses finally were able to get me some Loratab, but it took 15 hrs to get on top of it. I will never forget the pain and cringing through the night. I didn't get any sleep.

The next day J.D. and I spent that entire day just staring at Hazyn. J.D. took the birth certificate papers and wrote her name. It was his choice this time and we love her name. We napped a lot. Our nurses gave us so many extra diapers, wipes, binkies, to go cokes and extra treats. They came in and hung out in our room because they liked J.D. and I so much. We loved it! They were truly amazing and so kind. We will never forget them.

When it was time to go, we put on Hazyn's scrubs! We went to put her in her carseat and the buckles wouldn't buckle! J.D. and I sat there for minutes trying to get it to work and I finally said a quick prayer..... J.D. figured it out immediately! Prayers answered! The buckles were backwards. lol! We quickly fixed them, and put Hazyn in the carseat. She was tiny!!

As we left, we gave everyone hugs and walked out with tears. The entire pregnancy I had prayed that I would get to take a baby home, and it was finally here. We got something to eat at an Arby's drive through, and headed home with the car packed full of fun things.

On the freeway, there was this car that kept getting close to us.... we looked over and DIED LAUGHING! I pulled out my phone to take a pic and they drove next to us just so I could get a pic. haha! It was hilarious!

We pulled into Holden and J.D.'s mom met us at the house. We walked in and Monty was completely asleep. Dawson wanted to hold her immediately! I went in to lay down and somehow between J.D., my mom, and Clara everything made it's way into the house. We decided to run down to Grandma Marjorie's as soon as I fed Hazyn. It's probably one of the best parts about having a baby, getting to watch Grandma hold her and get so excited.

She waits and wonders the entire time you are at the hospital to hear how things went. She can't wait to see the baby. She loves them so much and you can just feel how special each grandchild is to her. She loves her grandkids and getting to be a part of their lives.

Anytime I would dress Hazyn up in a cute outfit, we head to Grandma's to show her. She just loves to hold the baby and would for hours if you stayed that long.

All of the cousins love to see the baby. They point and stare and want to touch the baby's hair. It's so cute to watch them be so curious.

And we love dressing her up!

The boys know that I breastfeed the baby and Dawson knew how it all worked before when we had Monty. BUT little Monty was so curious about it. He couldn't quite figure it out. I would explain its milk, and showed him that it came out. Then explained that Hazyn's drinks the milk. Monty took that and the next day I find him trying to feed Hazyn milk when she was crying....

lol! We then had to explain that he doesn't have milk, just pecks. haha! Dawson died laughing, but then he kept trying to explain that he didn't have milk. He is such a good big brother!

We wrap Hazyn up in all of her blankets and take pics everyday.

It's so peaceful to watch a baby sleep.

We love it when she is awake and just looks at you. She is so calm and hardly ever cries!

Monty gave her a kiss and is constantly wanting to hold her. He says "I need her! I need her!"

Grandma Clara came over every few days to bathe her. I couldn't bathe Hazyn for few weeks because of my back pain. I have to regain the muscles the same way I did when I broke my back last year.

When Clara came, she loved to play hair dresser and combed Hazyn's hair in many ways.

She loves it!

And here is our sweet little baby one more time for this post. She has such big eyes and they are so cute! They are turning more blue every day. She is a very good sleeper and will sleep for at least 4 hours once through the night.

She is starting to get more of personality and preference in how to be held. She loves to be upright, and looking at you. She grunts a lot, especially when she is pooping. It's so loud! We took her to church yesterday, May 8th Mother's Day, for the first time. Everyone loved her and said she was so beautiful. In Relief Society, she was really loud in her grunts. lol!

March was such a crazy month. Every week I had 2 ultrasounds and a non-stress test. It was so hard finding a babysitter and after the first week I was done with the 2-a-week thing. I made it once a week. It was fun to know how big she was and watch her move. We never got a profile pic (the entire pregnancy) because she was SOOO LOW! Literally smashed down there. :-) I have to write things like that so I don't forget my expressions and to blackmail my kids later ;0 Between J.D. and my mom, I had someone watching the kids and was able to make it through the next 4 weeks. Also, at my doctor appointments, at 34 weeks I was dilated to a 2 and 70% effaced. So I was told to take it very easy the next 3 weeks until they took her. This made life more difficult when Monty decided to break his foot.......

Yep, he broke his left foot in 2 places! The story... well Dawson said he would play with Monty downstairs so I could rest. For 20 minutes it was so nice... and then the screaming. I thought it would end after a minute or two. Finally I made my way downstairs ever so slowly. I get down there and can't even stand I'm in so much pain. Monty is bawling out of control. Dawson says, "I told him to not jump mom." He had climbed up the end of Dawson's bunk bed (which we had already removed the ladder so he couldn't climb up there) and jumped. He yelled for Dawson to catch him, but Dawson didn't react fast enough. Monty landed exactly between Dawson and the bean bag. What are the chances??!! Any who, I thought he just sprained it again. This is the 2nd time Monty had done this. I calmed him down, but Monty would not stand on it. I thought if we put a shoe on he would be fine to walk. Nope. Well I figured I wasn't going to pay for an emergency room bill so he would have to tough it out through the night. I'm a bad mom. The next morning I got him an appointment. It was miserable. My mom came to help because I couldn't carry Monty. He screamed through the appointment. Screamed bloody murder through the X-ray (J.D. had to go in because i couldn't being pregnant). And screamed through the results with the doctor. Broke in 2 spots. We left and I called my brother. He sent Monty a cute little boot and tons of treats and surprises. Monty was SO excited. Had I been smart and a good mom, I should have just taken him to Uncle Chad (a foot doc) in the first place. Maybe I would still have my hearing. But, now I'm deaf and disabled with a 2 year old and broken foot. Life was grand.

Monty was good while waiting for the X-ray tech to come...

Here is the little boot!

But the boot didn't stop Monty from jumping off things or climbing....

Surprisingly he did good keeping his boot on after a week. For the first week he would just kick it off no matter how tight we made it. He is such a good kid and is so tough anytime he gets hurt. He is so quick to be okay. Even though I couldn't pick him up because he was too heavy, he was so good to just crawl until he was ready to walk.

One day when the weather was warm, Monty and Dawson headed over to the ditch in front of our house.

I loved watching Monty want to be just like Dawson, and watching Dawson take care of his little brother. It was too cute to not capture.

One day Dawson came home telling us that what J.D. did for a job wasn't very smart. J.D. and I laughed and tried explaining that what J.D. does is an extremely smart job, he's a chemist. We explained how he had to analyze chemicals and take samples, and work chemical solutions to solve problems and so on. Dawson still wasn't convinced that J.D. was smart. SO, I took Dawson and Monty to J.D.'s work one night. The boys were on cloud 9! J.D. blew up trash bags full of helium, and showed the boys all of his cool machines he gets to work with.

I didn't understand 1 word... and the boys didn't really understand either, but we had fun!

Monty kept wanting more and more balloons. Hitting them across the room and getting beyond dusty from running around... It was heaven.

March is an extremely busy month full of many birthdays and our anniversary. J.D. and I celebrated our 9th anniversary! It's amazing all of the things we've done and been through within the last 9 years. I still remember the first time we met and our first date. I love that we have blogged the last 9 years so we don't forget all that has happened. As far as birthday, we have Collin's, Chase Shelley's, Lucas', Parker's, Clara's, Bryant's, Brydons, Daxon's, Breslynn's, and Brie's. I think that is everyone's...

So between everyone's, I got a pic of Parker. :-)

At the end of the month, I knew I hadn't taken one pic of me being pregnant. J.D. took Dawson shed hunting one Sunday afternoon. I packed up the camera, and went up the mountain to find them. I figured this would be the best opportunity I would have to get some pics. I didn't even care what everyone was wearing, I just wanted some pics. So with a few tips, J.D. caught the cutest pics.

Monty was being a little stinker, but being a stinker isn't always a bad thing... I LOVE this pic and Monty is a cute little stinker.

Dawson did not want any pics... so I pulled him in for a hug and kept making him laugh... which turned out to be picture perfect. I love having pics where we are just being ourselves and not trying to pose. I'm never not happy with these kind of pictures.

My sister Amy sent me a wrap!! I've always wanted one and here it is! I had no idea how big it was going to be, but after practicing how to wrap it around, I found that the length is perfect! lol

We also were able to go to the park a bunch and I had to get this pic of Monty. Even with a broken foot, he is the happiest little guy. I am so grateful I have happy kids. I know Monty has a temper, but for the most part I can get him laughing anytime and he is always making J.D. and I laugh back.

About Me

We are the Stevens family and live in Holden, UT. I am a stay at home mom and love every minute of it! J.D. (my hunners) works at a place where they store propane and other gases deep down into the Earth's salt caverns. We have four beautiful children; two handsome little boys, a beautiful little girl her on earth, and one beautiful little girl in Heaven. While we miss our sweet Andee M’lee, who was stillborn at 36 weeks, we know she is too pure and sacred to be here on Earth. Dawson, 8 years old, is a proud big brother who is very protective of his siblings. He is very in tune with them, and always prays for everyone to always be okay. He loves school and friends. Monty is ALL BOY and knows what he wants. He is hilarious and it's really hard to get mad at him without laughing. Hazyn is the sweetest little girl. She is definitely spoiled with love from her brothers. Our family continues to grow with more laughter and happiness every day.