Sunday, June 03, 2007

Judge a Book by Its Cover at Your Peril! by Diana Holquist

I'm mad. Stinkin' mad.

I don't usually get the chance to spend money wantonly in bookstores. But my husband is la-la-ing off to Europe and leaving me for SIX WEEKS with THE CHILDREN who have only TEN DAYS left of school (sorry for shouting...I'm a little tense here). So it was perfectly rational to get a little reckless.

I bought a very reasonable armload (wheel-barrow-load, whatever) of romance novels. Yummy.

And then I thought, why not splurge on a trade paperback? We're talking fifteen bucks here folks. I went for the new Irvine Welsh, The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs. I love Irvine Welsh. I love bedroom secrets. I love master chefs. What could go wrong?

Got to page 131 and I threw it at the wall. Threw it. At. The. Wall. (Those trade paperbacks make a nice, satisfying thud as they hit.)

WTF?!? (Sorry for cursing. Did I mention dh was out of country/kids almost out of school?) First--no bedroom secrets. I wanted bedroom secrets, durnit. Second--no chefs. Third--don't you HATE it when a book is moving along and then suddenly, on page 132 it takes a weirdo-paranormal turn?

Hey, I write paranormal. I love paranormal. But I foreshadow. I put it on the back cover copy. You know what you're getting. And I certainly don't wait for page 131 and then drop it on the reader. Bleh.

Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs indeed.

Good thing I have that wheelbarrow full of romance novels.

Have you ever picked up a book and it wasn't what you expected? Want to come over and rant with me? You bring the wine.

2 comments:

Oh yeah... This makes me so mad! Although I will say that movies are even worse. I rented a movie once that said something on the front like: "laugh out loud funny." And I am here to tell you that this movie was not a comedy.

I don't mean that I personally did not find it all that amusing. I mean there was not one thing about it that suggested that it was supposed to be humorous. It was a depressing story about someone who had cancer or something.

I can't remember the details now, but it had a star in it that had become famous for doing comedy and I think they just thought: "maybe we can get some of his fans to rent this if they think it's like his other work."

I don't know, but there's nothing like watching someone battle cancer for two hours all the while thinking: "When's the funny part going to get here?"