JENKINS: Loving parents of potential killers should be armed

After the crossfire of reactions have played out — the paralyzing horror of slaughtered innocents; the welling sympathy for the families, losers of an infernal lottery; the loathing of military-style weapons in the hands of nihilistic loners; the guilty relief of knowing my grandkids were safe in their preschool — I think of the parents.

Not the parents of the victims.

They’re adrift, I’m afraid, in doldrums of grief.

No, I think of the parents of the thousands of young men capable of joining the pantheon of young, male mass murderers.

The parents who think, when the hand-to-mouth news of another tragedy breaks, There but for the grace of God go we.

A few hours after the school shooting, I received an email from a San Diego doctor who for the last several years has been my guide to this poor community of parents, many of whom are otherwise successful in life.

“Ninety percent chance (this) is another mental health tragedy,” the physician wrote. “When will we realize we’re not doing things right? Just makes me cry. Presently, my son is stable, on court-ordered meds, reasonably stable, and slowly putting his life back together. We have been very lucky, but it is a never-ending process.”

Immediately after the Aurora theater massacre, he wrote another keening prediction:

“As usual, they’re barking up the wrong tree. The kid’s mental health is a much better way to address the problem than gun control. ... Over the next week we’ll probably hear that his behavior had been deteriorating over the last few months.”

Shortly after Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and 18 others were shot, the doctor gave me a glimpse into his family’s tortured private history:

“My family has been dealing with the frustration of dealing with a mentally ill member who refuses treatment even though it’s clear to all around him it’s necessary. The reasons are many, but in short form they are denial, embarrassment, lack of insight and undesirable medication side effects.”

In his letters, the good doctor always advocates for Laura’s Law, the 2002 state legislation that allows more latitude in court-ordered treatment for the mentally ill.

Shortsightedly, Laura’s Law has not been widely adopted. A weapon has been taken out of the hands of terrified families.

The doctor once recounted a violent outburst when police had to be called to pacify his son. “Even though it is clear he was psychotic during this episode, by the time his health-care provider is notified, he doesn’t meet the criteria for involuntary hospitalization. Unbelievable. ... The mental health system is so dysfunctional right now it’s hard to believe we live in a civilized country. This scenario plays out thousands of times daily.”

In San Diego County, Laura’s Law is not the local law, presumably because of the costs (and civil liberties objections, a philosophical position that seems less and less tenable).

The doctor scoffs at the view that the county does not have the resources to control the dangerous.

“Look at my son. The police have been at our house twice in the last 6 months. Significant costs include police, detectives, incarceration, prosecution through the DA’s office, court costs, and we’re just getting started. New York City has had impressive savings with their Kendra’s Law (a version of Laura’s Law). We would likely see the same here.