Monday, July 6, 2015

Hai, Hati

03072015

it was our first meeting after seven years of friendship.

surprisingly it happened just like we already met for many times. i didn't feel awkward at all as I usually hard to communicate with people who I just met for the first time. what amazed me the most when he casually act nothing when he met my sister. haha, it was not in my plan actually, it just happened that my sister came to KL and I felt guilty to let her 'berbuka' alone. so, I just asked her to join us as he said that he was okay. Ah, lega tau tak masa tu.

every time I told my friends about us, they would say the same thing again and again.

"oh, dia lah yang selalu ada dekat post ko tu ek"

even my sister did asked the same thing!

sounds too obvious, right?

yes. that's him.

to be frank, I'm still not clear with my own heart. either we are just friends or we are more than that.

that's why I can never answer "Siapa dia? Takkan kawan je" even it was asked for many times already,. I don't have the answer yet.

it's not that i don't believe him, but it is more that i don't trust my own heart after all. It scares me when I think that I could hurt him, or cannot appreciate him or I can't even truly love him just like others did. Thanks to the past experiences I had and what I heard from my friends, I know the joys and pains of loving others.

I think I should stop here even though I have many things to write about this. Lagipun main point kat sini was stated on the first paragraph je. Before I end this, do pray the best for me. If we were meant to be, insyaAllah we will. If we are not, may Allah ease us to find someone better for us. Allah knows best.