Finding the answers – part6 – where is that sky scraper going?

–Day 6

10am
Managed to have a pretty long dialog with someone. I consider it a success

Met my “go to nurse” earlier. Not entirely sure what she does that no one else does. But she’s who was assigned to me, a title like that.
I told her I was feeling much better and that I can’t wait to get home.

Been thinking some more about my transsexuality. There’s a phrase in a song where he sings “poor him who carries a sky scraper on his shoulders! What is it that you don’t want others to see that everyone hasn’t already seen, and where is that sky scraper going?”
I need to throw away the sky scraper!

11:40am
When I was younger, people used to tell me that I was in my own world, from time to time. I used to let my mind drift and lose focus. Lost in day dreams, as they say. I think I need to do more of that.

2pm
Maybe meditation is the new “zoning out” for me though. Because it always makes me feel better. Had a 20 minute session earlier.

Had a talk with the man from Iraq. He told me more about why he’s here and what he’s been through. Just like all Christian Iraquies, he’s had a life of persecution and imprisonment. His wife and daughter died by a suicide bomber. Over 200 people died in a church that day..
I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.
Luckily, Sweden is open to a lot of people who needs the help.

Speaking of immigration. I’ve seen a lot of beggars with roses lately. Mostly women who try to use the gift of a rose and fake kindness to win you over, so that you’ll give them some money.. Yeah, my good will seizes completely when I’m being manipulated. I know they must be desperate, but come on.

Let’s talk a little about this clinic I’m staying in. I’ve had a really good experience so far. But I do have some complaints.
For one, I don’t get why I can’t be in someone else’s room. We’re all people here.. I don’t know. It seems that some rules are arbitrary. I can understand not being allowed to have cables lying around (because someone suicidal could snatch it and kill themselves… At least that’s what the nurses are saying. The rule came in place due to it happening a lot), but some things just seem dehumanizing.

I probably won’t be 100%ing Luigi’s mansion 2. Too hard and time consuming.
I decided to play some Mario 3d land instead.
I love my 3ds! Wish Majora’s mask would be released soon, though.

2:50pm
Just watched a vsauce3 video about what we see in the dark, and it turns out seeing strange patterns in the dark is normal. I always thought it was because my eyes were damaged in some way. And I don’t seek out the whys and ifs of anything the body does.
Strangely relieving to know.

5:45pm
Talking to people and meditating are key things to take away from this. Getting out of your comfort zone.
I feel so good just interacting. It makes me feel both stressed and exhilarated. I feel the stress will subside eventually.

I think I’ve found what is missing, and what I’m doing wrong. The answer was always there, but it’s more clear to me now than ever!

9:35pm
I can easily say that today was a huge success.
Had a longer talk with one of the women on the clinic, and I’ve been able to keep my stress at bay. Fantastic!

I opened up Facebook very briefly, to find that one of my tranny friends (it’s an endearing term we use) went to buy some wine using her new ID with her new name on it. And it went well with no hassles. I don’t know.. That made me so happy to hear!