I have been having a terrible nightmare anytime I go to sleep. It has been haunting me during the day as well. This has been going on for close to a week now and last night was the worst yet.

Here is the dream:

I am talking to my favorite wolf, Symon. We are in my favorite wooded area and we are discussing some events that have me questioning certain things. He suddenly perks his ears and says, "I wasn't paying close enough attention, they are here." I ask, "who is here?' and I begin looking around. I don't see anyone but I feel an evil presence. I stand up and before I can say or do anything out of the darkness comes a flash of light and Symon jumps in front of me and it struck by it. He falls to the ground after letting out the worse howling cry I have ever heard. I get down and try to see what has happened and how I can help but there is just a hole in him, a large hole. I begin to chant and to call for Michelle. I am rocking him and chanting with all my life force but he dies in my arms. HE DIES. Symon can't die, can he? I mean I thought he couldn't die but he dies and even as I just write this my chest hurts from the thought and I can't stop the tears from coming. Michelle never comes and I never saw what killed him. I just sat there for what seemed like hours rocking him and crying. The night came and went and came again before I woke up. I feel sick because of this nightmare. Bella has been waking me up a lot for about a week now and I finally figured it out, she wakes me up from this dream. I am crying and she wakes me by licking my tears. I just don't know what to make of it. I have tried to make sure that Symon is okay but I still haven't had any word.

Anyway I just thought if I wrote this out that I could banish it from my thoughts once and for all.

A strange dream last night. I was in a huge building of some kind. Corporate, academic, state maybe, somethings with lots of offices and laboratories. The place was old, like it cold have been built in the 40s or 50s but there were modern computers. I was in one office with some screens, and I was apparently a security staff of of some kind. I was wearing some sort of dark, blue or gray, uniform. On a camera screen I could see a woman, who was not familiar to me, who seemed perfectly normal but was in the wrong place of the building at the wrong time. I went after her and found her in a hallway. She was pleasant enough at the start of the conversation but as I pointed out her being in the wrong place she went angry, then tried to run. There was a struggle. She was slippery and strong as an eel. I finally got her in a grip that placed her helplessly over my back, but it was an painful hold for both parties. I then walked through some offices; there were people there who looked rather shocked at me passing through with my cargo, but I eventually located a specific man who looked like a scientist or professor; tall, skinny, and with somewhat ruddy and half long grey hair. He seemed to be on top of the situation and asked the woman something. She answered, angrily, and he continued to speak to her. She stopped resisting and I put her down on the floor, then left.

Disturbing one last night. I was in a city or urban area; lots of one- and two storey buildings. Not many people in the street and something very bad was happening. Someone was following after me with bad intentions but it was just a little bit of what was happening. Up in the sky I could see a big passenger plane. The engines were on fire and it was sailing toward the ground and out of my view. The one who was following me went off after someone else instead, but I think I was hit in a leg first. Right then another plane appeared in the sky; a solitary jet fighter plane going after the first plane at very high speed. There was an ominous silence, and I and the other maybe half dozen other people at that spot laid down on the ground and covered our ears. And then there was a boom. Not something happening far away; it was as if the world went white and soundless and the ground shook and throbbed. Next I new, a woman in some kind of boiler suit was leaning over me asked if I could move. I could right then not feel anything and could not move my limbs, but then I was on my feet and I replied that I was fine. She told me to follow her, and started to run. I followed her; no one else were moving. The air was full of dust which worried me a great deal. I wanted gloves.

The woman was running to a two-storey building. There were no windows and the walls were made of concrete. The woman went inside a door and I followed in. Right inside the door at the bottom of an unpainted stairwell a man was lying; dead or badly wounded. The woman shouted at him but he did not respond. I noticed that he was wearing a more substantial suit with a helmet and gloves. I tried to take the gloves off him then saw that they were dissolving. What had he been doing? The woman went up the circular staircase and I followed. It went up several floors and then we were on some sort of platform overlooking what could be a hangar or a work shop. There were other people in suits there and a full alarm was in progress. Apparently someone were trying to break in.

I dreamed of a hillside. There was war going on, but what period I could not tell; the soldiers were carrying muskets or rifles and were all wearing long woolen coats. There was the flash and thunder of cannons. I was part of a small group of soldiers. We were headed toward a spot on a hill where there was a lot of shooting. There was a small unit already there, our people, taking rapid fire. But they were just milling about. I could see the officer and I recognized him as someone who was not a real officer, just someone who had bought his way to the job. I told him to get out of the way and he gave me a look of hopeless defiance, as if his pride was snapping. He stepped aside though and I spread my few men out and told them to lie down, and then we returned fire.

I woke up in a jungle, terrified. In a wrecked white tent and covered in white blankets. Outside was a huge gorilla, at least 10 feet tall, and it was probing through the wrecked tent with a hairy hand the size of a hup cap. I could feel its hand reach me and lie probing on my chest, and I fought to not move or make a sound. Then I saw my horse standing close by; it was dark brown, and had a brown leather saddle with brass tackle. I reached out to it, grabbed on and sent it running while I swung up into the saddle.

Ai. Last night I was busy writing and drinking wine until 2am. I am not one to complain about a burst of creativity, but there were consequences. For one thing, at some point after I went to sleep, I either sleepwalked or some mischievous pixie lent my body, went to the kitchen, made cocoa with powder and cold milk and drank most of it, left the milk carton out on the table, and then had some sweets - at least those were unwrapped first. I certainly don't have a memory of it.

And then I dreamed. Of going to a huge airport. There were lots of people hanging around. Shops, luggage, rolling sidewalks, the works. I needed to travel somewhere, I had been somewhere and was going home and for some reason I had not ordered a ticket in advance. I now tried to order a ticket but was told to have to wait until someone else cancelled, the system was in chaos because of some event. So I walked around, sat, waited, talked with a few people. It got very late and I was talking with two women; one was a cop and the other a fireman - in service uniforms, not full garb. We were flirting a little bit. The cop was a blonde with a sharp haggard face, like she had been doing too many late shifts on too little food. She was very pretty when she blushed. Seeing it was getting so late it was better described as early, I suggested we rented a room and got a few quiet hours. They said something like that getting them a room wasn't getting me sex. I said that I didn't fuck on first dates any more anyway. I'd be back to this city some time later. (I know it's cheesy. It was a dream. I am merely reporting.) So we managed to get a room, and it was like the inside of a shoe box. White walls, no windows, practically just a single bed and some extra mattresses on the floor and a tiny bathroom. I got the bed, and the ladies were settling on the floor. But the door was open and two guys walked past; I seemed to know them. They were having the cubicle next door. They were laughing, we had a brief chat. The younger of the guys was half naked and looked pretty hot; he went to the other room quickly and then we heard some humping going on. The three of us hit our beds too.

I dreamed that I was in a team training about ten androids in street subterfuge. This was not going entirely well. The androids were going down the street, looking the same and walking in the same pattern. Most of the androids looked like men but one looked like a woman, and I was talked to teach her to act in a counterintuitive pattern so she could avoid detection. We were doing stuff like stopping at random shops and look through the merchandise, try on clothes she did not need, read in books, little human traits. We were in a restaurant, having a conversation with someone else in our team. Then re realized we were being bugged by a nearby couple; they had a microphone and a recording device. Clearly agents of a different organizations. This was not good. We went to the bathroom section, where one of the others on my team handed me a small crystal-like item and told us to leave. The android and I left by the bathroom window; we were climbing down the walls of a very old building with many decorations so it wasn't too hard. But we were being followed, and ran into neighboring dark factory-like buildings and found a way to an upper floor where there were shops; from these we made it out to the street.

There was this sports type; running like the wind, going to some sports event. Then he changed into a gryphon while running. As he arrived the rest of the team was waiting, they looked pretty baleful - but then started to change into gryphons as well. Sports commenced, and then they changed into swans and flew away.

I dreamed that I was in some sort of mall or conference center; there were shops, offices... and stormtroopers. Or rather guys in stormtrooper costumes, as some sort of temporary attraction. I was one of them; we were doing things like marching unexpectedly out of swooshing doors. Very festive. But someone attacked us out of nowhere; some where shot and killed, some wounded.

And then there was an executive of some kind. Suit and tie, tall and sharp, and now I was him. I saw my troopers be attacked, talked to one of them and then the big strong attacker was coming for ME. I was by my office and I jumped over the waist high shelf, narrowly missed my own office chair, crashed down on the floor and reached frantically for the alarm button which was under my desk. It was a silent alarm. I got up and ran out in the corridor, to the staircase, down it, and into a meeting room where a couple of people were concluding some business. A man and a woman. I knew them, and as we all hurried to get under the table I shook their hands, especially the man. I reminded him that after the signing of the papers a few minutes ago his company was now responsible for something to do with security, and he used an electronic thing to send a message to someone.

Weird. I woke up without remembering my dream but with an intense need to hear Rachmaninoffs piano concert no. 3. I have not heard it before at all, nor did I have an earful of classical music right before going to bed.

And that's how I came to start my day with 45 minutes of classic piano. It was really nice.

Argh. I have been dreaming about "Bugsy and Malone" all night. And someone laughing and saying that they are just a symbol. Then I see two men on a street. Then I wake up, and dream about "Bugsy and Malone" again. Rinse and repeat. And I have not even SEEN the damn movie.

This is a very messy writing of the dream I had, it woke me up and I had to write it all down. I don't want to add or fix what I wrote - that might ruin the memory in my head.

End of the World was coming.Can travel to a new one with keys. Only so many keys, regulated to certain people.People don't know I have them, I try to get people out and away. Get mom out.Once you travel there, you become something else. A new creature. Sentient, but differentSave a man and his son, A woman and her daughter. And then there are others looking for me. They're angry because I have the keys.

There's a man in an apartment or a house. We talk about what's happening. He doesn't want to change. Doesn't want to leave. I write him a note and spend time with him. It's a quiet house, older. There are messages on the back of a dresser - Writing for each other. I'm thinking of things to take, I don't take much. My animals are all ready - they'll change too, like us.I spend more time with the man, as much as I can. I ask if he would change, I have the two keys just for us in my pocket.

He says no.

It's calm, peaceful. But the end is coming. I can feel it.I have to get out of there. I leave a key for him and goSomeone hands me a bag of keys Activated IllegalThey want to help - they say nothing. They have activated more keys - we're trying to save as many people as possible. More are coming. Friends are there. They cross to the other place.I send my animals over - I have to before the people I wait for him. He doesn't come.Things are growing dimTime for us. I cross. Pale stripes of teal over tuqiostNature is vibrant It's hugeThey're thereAll of them waiting, laughing We made itI have keys and trinkets with meMaybe the world didn't end and we could go backMaybe he'll come. His name was Sean.

Weird one last night. I opened the front door and there were four cats outside, who were coming in. Three black ones and one tabby. They had been missing for a long time, had gone to another part of the country, and now they were back. In bad shape. One lacked a foot, another one lacked a tail. They were scrawny and thin, wearing bandages and veterinaries had written contact information on them. The cats had brought two dead mice with them. I let them in, of course.

Very visual one last night. I was in a machine shop; there were lots of guys in boiler suits, oil, grime, heavy machinery. I was brought to a stall and told to put together and solder some metal components with wires. As I was doing this, a big low car drove in and parked in the nearby parking area; it attempted to park a little away from the others. The car was on fire. The driver darted out and sprayed a spot with a fire extinguisher; then three more people calmly left the car. As they went away there was a wooof and then the car was engulfed in fire.

I dreamed I was in a large building. White walls, bright roof lights. There was a monster, of the space alien type with lots of claws and teeth and gadgets, and a portal through which a whole bunch of beings were coming who immediately attacked the monster. Humans, humanoids, others. They were using all sorts of scifi type weapons shooting beams, rays and so on. The alien countered with shields and rays. Then there was a loud bang. Someone else, not one of the portal arrivals, had fired an old fashioned rifle at the monster and it reeled in pain, because it had not prepared to fight something that primitive. Another shot rang out and it fell.

I had a dream last night that began with me waking up in Austria (I think) on a vacation with a friend and my parents. I’ve been to Austria in real life and in reality my dream was nothing like the real place, but I knew where I was, saw things I felt I had seen before. I was trying to show them all of the awesome things there, but the entire time my mom was being a bore, or just rude, making mean comments, wanting to nap when we only had so much time to explore, etc. I remember vividly the feeling of anger I felt towards her. What I don’t remember is if I hit her or not. I really wanted to.

I had a terrible night because I managed to run out of sleeping pills. (Fresh supplies today, fortunately. Two nights like this would have been twice as bad.) Lay awake until 5am and when I finally did get to sleep the dreams rolled over me with unusual detail and ferocity. You might want to consider this post to be on the nasty side, although no more than any news story. Fair warning.

I was in a city street. It had been raining and the asphalt was wet. In a strange neighborhood. There was a two floor building. A bar or something on the first floor, and a number of bearded men in wigs and dresses outside. I went in a side door and up a staircase to the second floor, where there was a small shop. Could have been a pawn shop maybe; it looked scruffed. Someone told me the desk counter with the real goods was closed for the moment; a couple of shady men were looking at me darkly for a moment then ignored me. There was another man there too; another customer. His skin was a lot darker than mine, and seemed to have a sunny personality. We made a few jokes and I called him a caballero. We decided to go somewhere else and a small young blonde woman wanted to go with us. She was a prostitute and also felt sunny. We went outside, the three of us arm in arm, down the dark wet streets, taking a few dance steps here and bowing like ladies and gentlemen there. It was such a happy moment. Then we came to a different building, went up some stairs, and there "El Toro" was waiting for us. (Yes, the dream actually named him.) He was a gang leader and had other men there with him. A killer of police. I don't know why we went to meet him. El Toro had thick black hair, was well dressed, fat and muscular, and was sunny in the wrong way. The girl, who was looking to gain something, made advances on El Toro and they had sex. Then something went terribly wrong and El Toro sent all his men to have sex with her as well in the same room. It was ugly. After it was over she was sitting on the floor crying and said she was torn to pieces, and she leaped for a gun on a table and shot herself. Then I and the caballero looked at each other's faces, nodded, pulled out our own guns and shot everyone in the gang. I was saving El Toro for last. He was begging. I shot him twice, low in the belly so he'd suffer. But the caballero told me that I should not be as bad as El Toro, and while I looked at my friend I lifted the gun and shot El Toro in the head. I asked the caballero "Why, if suffering last so long, must vengeance be so fast?" He had no answer for me. That dream ended there.

I'm in a strange concrete room with hoses and knobs all over the walls. There's a drain in the center of the floor. It's not really frightening, and doesn't appear to be a torture chamber of any sort. There's a small corridor on the side that leads to some steps going down. There's a bunch of women here, watching me. They don't like me at all. I realize I'm mostly naked, save my nightgown. And I'm now expected to work. I don't really know what my job is here, so I just grab a hose and turn it on. I spray some stains off the concrete floor before accidentally hitting the emergency shutoff. The foreman appears as if from thin air, smiles, and shows me how to fix the mistake. The women grumble and make snide remarks about the appearance of my butt.

Sunday, 23 September, 2018It's the middle ages in Ireland. And there's zombies. And there's this married woman that I fall in love with who secretly “marries” me in a cave at night. But the king, for some reason, sentences me to prison. And tries to marry off my new bride to some noble. The other nobles oldest, knowing she is still married to someone else. The king pulls out a handwritten book and declares that only his rules, written and revised every day, and only seen by him, take precedence. The court erupts and half of the nobles are also sent to prison.

As I'm being led away, the jailor takes me to a secret room where the remaining nobles are. They tell me that they're not going to let me be arrested for no reason, bring me my new wife, and tell us to escape. I sense something's off and discover they've stolen the king’s book and hidden it in my wife's belongings. I know he'll execute us for this, so I try to turn them in. But it doesn't work and I end up killing the king with his own sword while he tries to seduce my wife. The nobles try to arrest me for regicide, but I refuse to surrender and me and my new bride are killed in the streets.

I was at a concert. Some obscure steam punk band; the hall was maybe two thirds full. The music was a bit monotonous and the singer not quite top notch. Afterwards I was in the small lobby and saw the band check out; they seemed happy enough. I had a couple of words with one of them. When I left the place I had a bus to catch but it was not coming this way for hours so I wanted to head the beach for a while. I felt oddly young. I passed a trio of girls and one of them asked where they could buy cheap beer, but I could only direct them to the nearby grocery story. She was not happy about this. Then I went into a beach bar or shop of sorts to buy something; there was a young attractive man in just bathing trunks there; he asked me if I was going swimming in a rather pointed and intimate way. Odd. I moved on to the beach which seemed to be at the edge of a jungle forest. Very pretty. What really caught the attention was a cloister or temple that had been built in the water; lots of steps going into the water, low wavebreaker walls, little building and plateaus enclosed by walls. Not so much a big building as a labyrinth or a fortress, marked by age but not decayed. There were robed people going about, and bathing people. Blue sky, strong sun. I went swimming in one of the open hallways; the water was warm but not clear. Nearby a man shouted that he had found someone lifeless in the water, and moved him toward a gate at the top of a few stairs. The gate did not open but there was open space between the gate and the steps and hands reached out and pulled the lifeless person inside.

I arrive at some sort of storage space. Imagine the back room of a huge book store or library; giant heaps of books on pallets, some open and some not. There are people working there, minding their own business. On one heap I see an album of the Corto Maltese comic with a title and front picture I have not seen before, meaning it is pretty rare. One of the workers there is a pretty girl with black hair. I ask her if I can buy the comic, but she tells me it is not for sale. Bummer. I leave. But next I go to some sort of informal meeting with a group of people discussing something at various tables. While I sit there, the black haired girl show up and we have a fun conversation. The album topic did not come up again but I seem not to mind. That is all I remember.

I don't recall what led up to the moment, but I remember dreaming that I was sitting on a couch waiting for someone. A shapeshifter, who could become anything you requested, and apparently I requested that they turn into Dresden from the Dresden Files.

In real life I've never considered Dresden particularly sexy (It's hard to be like, 'Oh baby, YES!' when discussing a man who canonically dresses like he took a tumble through a thrift store and is scruffy on the best of days), but dream Dresden was DAAAAAAAAMN sexy. Much taller than me, broad shoulders, carefree smirk, all the recognizable Dresden features, but he seemed so real. Immediately, I froze and got so nervous that I had to comment that he's my favorite detective, much better than Scooby Doo. Next thing I know he was that fucking dog and I couldn't figure out how to change him back. Instead the shifter kept turning into different characters from Scooby Doo and I gave up trying when they became Scrappy.

I do not recall last night’s dreams, but I have taken to dreaming of zombies lately. Oddly, they are not nightmares, the zombies are more of an annoyance than a threat. And curiously, it did not take place in any of the houses I have lived in, but a house with a completely new layout to me (but not to dream me, dream me seemed familiar with it).

I was dreaming that I was at some sort of small get-together, an after work gathering. Just a small cozy group with an undefinably English touch. There's alcohol, laughter, a gradual ease-off of clothes as it gets warm. Some people have to leave and now there are just four of us, me and a smooth salesman type and two pleasant-looking women. We are sitting on pillows in some corner now and things feel fairly intimate. I say something flirty to one of the women and she smiles to me in a way only English women can, and reaches out and puts her hand on my knee -