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Denial

....as i drive away, my heart pounding in my aching chest... did he really turn me away? did he really deny me?...my foot tenderly pressing against the pedal as my head spins with disbelief, advancing so slowly as i part, almost expecting him to call me back... but he doesn't. i hang my head briefly, in despair and disappointment....disappointment in myself as i drive away... my mind racing, thought after thought of what i did wrong, what i can do better, and pressured with the guilt of my disobedient responses to the One....what could i have been thinking, or not thinking to behave with such disrespect to the one i serve, the one i love, the one who posseses me, my heart, my mind, my body and my soul...a sparkle of water forms in the corner of my eye as i move forward, focusing only on the blinding lights in the streets of the night. When suddenly the phone rings....knowing , as i seem to always "know" it was him i take a deep breath to center myself and pick it up. the pounding of my heart in my chest echoing through the night as i answer through my shallow breathing, "hello Sir". Intent on redeeming my previous behavior, to show my Master that he alone holds the key to me. That he alone is in control....

HIS welcomed command bathes my senses as he instructs me to pull my car over to a secluded place..... eager to obey, i take in my surroundings, to find the best place to honor his wishes... With 4 minutes left , i call him back, obediently and feverishly anticipating his words... needing with every part of me to hear what it is he desires from me. to please him.to honor him as it should be.

the sound of his voice strong and valiant as he gently but firmly guides me to do his bidding... the moisture between my legs warm and familiar as i ease my pants down, directed by his words, my fingers press to my swollen clit and begins to encircle it slowly , tenderly, rhythmically...the sound of his voice in my ear urging me as the sweet wetness between my legs soon drenches my finger... i bring my finger to my lips, at the desire of the One and taste the arousal inspired by only him. The sweet taste a gentle reminder of the slave that i am. his voice in my ear, a firm reminder of the woman i am, HIS. His to do as he pleases. His to love, His to command, His to deny.

For it is within his denial of me that i am held captive to him...that i feel truly owned, truly wanted, truly where i need to be.

As the pleasure intensifies, and my soft wimpers can be heard by the creatures of the night, and the One.... although so close to my own pleasure, the sound of his release, of his intensity, knowing his pleasure has been satisfied...brings a sweet smile to my crimson lips...that inner ache, for having been denied, now intertwined with a deep loving satisfaction and pride for Master's pleasure is the pleasure i seek. His breathing in my ear through the mechanical device is the sweetest sound as it instructs me to put my pants back on and bids me a goodnight.... my own personal pleasure, once again, denied....

driving away, my foot pressed lightly on the pedal, as i lean back, a soft sweet smile across my lips, knowing i served...knowing i honored... knowing i am forever owned...

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