lellah:
I attend a small, Mainline Protestant church and am one of the younger adult members. Our congregation has a hand full of members who have come from more conservative (in all ways) denominations. We also have a lot of diversity in what people wear on Sunday morning: I personally favor vintage skirts and cardigans; think 1950s librarian. But one particular church member, who is both elderly and from one of these more conservative traditions, has taken me in hand clothing-wise. She has taken to suggesting my knee-length skirts are too short and that my collar bone-baring tops are too low cut. Nearly every week she has some comment about what I have on. I generally ignore what she's said and greet her affably.

Last Sunday I was wearing a big, woolly turtleneck sweater with jeans and boots because it was especially cold out. On her way up to receive Holy Communion she bent over and said not-at-all quietly to me in a very quiet sanctuary "I don't care for the dungarees but at least you've covered your bosoms for once." I ignored her.

My attitude is that, well, only one of us looks crazy and inappropriate. I was hardly the only person wearing jeans that morning, and several other women dress less conservatively than I do, which isn't really saying much. I should add that this woman's behavior isn't connected to dementia or similar problems: I've known her many years, and she's always prized her bluntness.

But, really, yikes.

Reason:
"How kind of you to take an interest" said coldly as you turn your back applies here. Nothing is really gained here by trying to prove her wrong.

exitzero:

--- Quote from: lellah on January 09, 2012, 01:30:23 PM ---I attend a small, Mainline Protestant church and am one of the younger adult members. Our congregation has a hand full of members who have come from more conservative (in all ways) denominations. We also have a lot of diversity in what people wear on Sunday morning: I personally favor vintage skirts and cardigans; think 1950s librarian. But one particular church member, who is both elderly and from one of these more conservative traditions, has taken me in hand clothing-wise. She has taken to suggesting my knee-length skirts are too short and that my collar bone-baring tops are too low cut. Nearly every week she has some comment about what I have on. I generally ignore what she's said and greet her affably.

Last Sunday I was wearing a big, woolly turtleneck sweater with jeans and boots because it was especially cold out. On her way up to receive Holy Communion she bent over and said not-at-all quietly to me in a very quiet sanctuary "I don't care for the dungarees but at least you've covered your bosoms for once." I ignored her.

My attitude is that, well, only one of us looks crazy and inappropriate. I was hardly the only person wearing jeans that morning, and several other women dress less conservatively than I do, which isn't really saying much. I should add that this woman's behavior isn't connected to dementia or similar problems: I've known her many years, and she's always prized her bluntness.

But, really, yikes.

--- End quote ---

I, of course, am headed straight to hell, but the urge to flash her and say, "here ya go" would be overwhelming.

jayhawk:
My first thought: She's just jealous >:D

I don't have any advice, just to tell you that there's probably not too much you can do to change her; I'm sure you're fine and others know you are, too.

Searcher:
Knee-length sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I'd address it with "Thanks for your concern, but I do not require assistance in clothing selection. Please consider this a closed subject."

If that doesn't work, you might ask the pastor or elders for assistance.