Detroit Tigers baseball and general merrymaking straight from PhilCoke'sBrain

The Giants come to Comerica Park

October 30, 2012

The only thing worse than losing game 4 of the World Series at Comerica Park in a sweep is having Giants fans in attendance to witness it. I don’t know if it came through on television, but in section 116 there was a substantial and noisy group of Giants fans on hand.

Let’s pretend there was a Tigers fan who happened to obtain a ticket to the game smack dab in the middle of this block. This might be what it looked like.

What might this embedded fan learn about the creature Giganticus Westcoasticus?

First, Giants fans are a happy group. Although it is unclear if they are simply whimsical hipsters or if the 3-0 series lead was fueling their mirth. Most of the folks were members of or family of the Giants front office. They are a polite and conversational group. They had quirks particular to their team such as referring to Matt Cain as “Matty” and wandering up and down the aisles in a crab costume. They also enjoyed a cheer in which one fan would yell “MARCO” and the rest would reply “SCUTARO” (which of course is an extremely clever play on the classic game MARCO POLO). It was during the second round of this cheer that the Tigers fans in the neighboring sections chimed in with a quick “SUCKS” to the observer’s great satisfaction. It would have been even more satisfactory if it was at all true.

Giants fans love to talk about pretentious food. Actual quotes: “I won’t eat iceberg lettuce anymore, I need to have at least romaine. I don’t like radicchio though because it is too bitter” “I have to have those heirloom tomatoes” “So, are you a smoked turkey guy or do you prefer the oven roasted?” These quotes were followed by the comment (to no one in particular), “This is the kind of stuff we talk about! hahahaha”

Giants fans love to wear black pea coats. You just know they were all excited to gear up for their big adventure to Michigan and went to Banana Republic eager to plunk down $250 for a coat that won’t keep them warm. You’d think a few smart ones would mix in a ski jacket or something, but noooo, why do that when you can wear a big woolen sponge to the game? Nothing like a coat that can really absorb that moisture on a breezy night with frigid rain. Good thing they had their stupid panda hats and sense of superiority to keep them warm.

Giants fans love Erin Andrews. Here she comes to section 116 and the fawning begins. It just so happened that Ms. Andrews desired to do an interview in the Giants section and wanted only Giants fans in Giants gear in the background of the shot. What might the embedded Tigers fan do? I surmise he might politely, but resolutely say, “I think I’ll stay here, this is my seat.” In such a way the embedded Tigers fan might stake a small, likely overlooked, claim of ownership in his home ballpark. It was a subtle, “This is our park, I’ll place the Olde English D where ever I darn well please and I don’t give a rats ass how nice your ass looks on TV!”

In the end, the embedded Tigers fan might think better of his anthropological adventures and find more familiar surroundings. The temptation to punch one of them in their panda-loving face during a potential celebration might simply prove too much. (Although, having 40,000 people have your back would be very reassuring). In the end, Giants fans are best observed from a safe distance where you can’t see the amount of happiness on their face as clearly.