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December 11, 2009

all is calm.

There hasn't been a moment to sit still. I made dozens and dozens and dozens of cookies and truffles for teacher gifts and finished my Christmas shopping (all online of course, mostly at etsy)

and freecycled some things and picked up some things from freecycle and I'm involved in the auction (that ends today) and finalization of the Triathlon

and a ton of other things I can't even tell you about yet and, oh, fit in being a Mom and writer so I've been staying up past 2 a.m. every night to sit at my computer and work in the fabulous quiet of my house.

The kids busy themselves without me while I'm elbow deep in powdered sugar. So I spy and find them doing really sweet things like playing nicely together, or making up a new game or planning a new adventure in the bunk beds

and I

realize that it's not the moments they are on display for everyone to see, like when we meet new people, when we're walking into church, or in line at the grocery store. Their behavior in those times is not a reflection of my parenting (or shortcomings as a Mother).

It's these very moments, the ones when no one is watching. When you can see right in the window to what's true in their hearts and intentions, open and wide.

44 comments:

Hi Steph. You are a beautiful and inspiring mother. I have recently become more of a babywearer (sp?) because of reading your blog. My one year old (today!) loves the ergo. Thank you for also reminding me to slow down and enjoy the quiet moments. Have a wonderful day.

Thank you! I feel the same way :) I know when we found out we were expecting #5 - unexpectedly, I had a little bit of a freak out. How was I supposed to do this? The baby will just be turning 2 before this new one comes. How will I keep up with everything? It was at this time my husband turned me toward the playroom to all 4 kids playing nicely and having fun and told me "We can do this" Gosh, I love that man!

I love this post! The comments about the adventures in the bunk beds brought back memories. I am 7 and 10 years older than my youngest brothers and they had bunk beds. They both still vie for my attention (at nearly 16 and 18!) when I'm home and it was the same when they were little. Our favorite adventure on the bunkbeds was houseboat....putting blankets up hanging down from the top to make the inside darker (that's where flashlights come in) and you had to go up to the top to "fish".

Now I'm looking forward to Christmas when they've insisted we do like we always did and have a sleepover. Me, my 26 year old husband and 2 teenage boys holed up in one room! It's going to be craziness!

Steph. This is beautiful. I totally agree with you- when Evan plays by himself (RARE : ( ), I see his little world and how good he really is and it melts me. You are a fabulous writer and mother by the way, just thought I'd let you know.

It is those moments I feel most proud of being a mother... it's moments like that, looking up and seeing my kids playing nicely together, or alone, just in their own little world, and my heart, too, swells with pride and love and it's an amazing feeling. What a beautifully written post! Thank you for writing this so well....

It is much (much!) more important what goes on when no one is looking. People can hide and fake things in public for a little while, but true character and integrity are what happens when no one's looking.

And sometimes, I forget Who is looking at me. And I get wrapped up in thinking my worth is based somewhere here on earth. Silliness.

Just wanted to update...all has been pretty well so far this month-prayers are working-and I have dealt with 2 stomach bugs and 2 day migraine and now no voice-if I can stay calm and cheery in all of this mess.....well....

What a wonderful perspective! It IS those moments when no one is watching that show what our kids are really like. I hadn't really thought about it that way but I think I agree with you whole-heartedly. Thanks for that.