Thursday, August 26, 2010

I have been feeling nostalgic after my last post about the birthday invitations (click here!) I make for my children's birthday parties. I pulled up some of my old photographs of my daughter at past parties. This one was taken two years ago. It is such a cliche to talk about how quickly your children grow up- but when I look at this picture, I ache. She is such my little muse. She can cause me to completely feel like a crazy person- and in another instant, I feel like mothering her is all I was meant to do. Her next birthday party will be in September, and she will share the stage with her brother (we will see how that goes!).

Someone asked last time about my photographs. They are photos that I play with in photoshop. This one I used the colored pencil tool- setting the brightness of the paper to white, and then fading the effect a bit. I also played around with the contrast. I have such a hard time leaving a photograph alone.

Hopefully you can read the Haiku okay. Oh - I did a syllable counter on stained, and it came back as a two... just in case you were wondering :-) I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!!

I have always dreamed about being a mother- and about all of the different creative things I would do as a parent.... the bohemian artistic family life that we would lead. I have had a lot of time to think about it. I didn't have my first child until I was 39 years old. My second child came as a sweet surprise from the universe at the age of 42. (A surprise I had been trying for- but really didn't think would happen.) Unfortunately, the reality leaves me with little time for all of the parenting fantasies that I had entertained when I was without children. I didn't really take into consideration that I would have to work full time, that I would have little sleep, that I would live in one of the most expensive areas in the world - and that my children would have their own ideas about how they needed to be parented. Who knew?

But there have been a few ways in which I have been able to stay true to those early visions of mothering. One of the big ones has been around birthdays. Each year, I write a letter to my daughter (and this year I will write my first one to my son). In the letter, I describe the person they are becoming, the milestones, and the way in which they move me. I bought a special album to keep the letters in, but haven't gotten around to that part of my vision yet. I figure as long as I have written the letters- I am doing pretty good.

Another thing I have done is thrown special birthday parties. I love a creative party! And I adore making the invitations. I usually do some basic artwork and then use all kinds of embellishments to complete them. Although I don't have scanned images of the final invitations- I thought I would share some of my basic artwork for the last few:-) The one at the beginning of this post is for the upcoming September joint birthday party. (As long as I can, I am going to try to do these joint parties. I am sure that pretty soon, my daughter will protest.) Their birthdays are only four days apart. So, this is what I have been working on lately. I just finished the web invitation- but I still will send out paper invitations too. I guess I am a purist.

This one was for Caya's first birthday party. We had a mad hatter theme and I made all of the guests wear funny hats. Okay... to be honest, no one agreed to it and I was the only one who wore a funny hat. Caya took off the cute bunny ears within two minutes of beginning the party. I am learning that I can be flexible around my visions- and find the beauty in what happens there.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

August 19th is my husband's birthday. This is my second marriage, and yet I can barely remember a time when my husband and I we were not side by side. This raising of children can be trying- but I feel we have weathered the sleeplessness, the discombobulation, the awkward feelings of not knowing - and are growing as partners. So my haiku today is a thank you to my husband and a wish that this next year is full of creativity, opportunity, laughter, passion, and love.

Thank you Rebecca - for even though my life gets overwhelming, I always try to at least do this post each week. For more Haikus- visit Rebecca's beautiful blog and maybe even join us.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

This is my offering for Haiku Friday. I took this picture at the Monterey Bay Aquairium - which is one of my favorite places. Hopefully, I can visit there again soon. I haven't taken my son yet- my daughter used to love it when she was little.

I have neglected my little blog this week.

Too busy with children and work. Hopefully, this week will be better:-)

For more Haikus- visit Rebecca's amazing blog and perhaps you can add to the fun.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I don't really know why I decided to take her to Target at 5:00 pm without a nap to buy a present for her little friend's birthday party... but I had a huge lapse in judgment. Each small tantrum igniting the next one. My empty threats to leave the cart and go home were of no help. (I needed diapers for my son - so this really wasn't an option). My mother said that I could throw an amazing tantrum when I was little. I can throw a pretty good one now- so I would imagine that she is telling the truth.

Just so you know, I didn't take pictures of my daughter in the midst of her tantrum - although there are times when I look at her eyes full of tears, red face, and pouty lips and think she is quite tragically beautiful- that would feel a little too exploitative and not exactly the empathic nurturing mother I want to be remembered as. The picture above was taken during one of her acting sessions. She loves to have photographs taken while she pretends to have different emotions. (No wonder her tantrums have the emotional intensity of an oscar winning performance).

So- this has been my life as of late. I am learning how to stay calm- and repeating the mantra, that a wise woman told me... "Just because she is upset - doesn't mean I have to be upset. Just because she is emotionally overwhelmed, doesn't mean I have to be emotionally overwhelmed. Just because she is having a tantrum, doesn't mean I have to have a tantrum." Doesn't always work, but I am trying.

To read more haikus on Haiku Friday or
maybe to add your own
visit the enchanting Rebeccahere

Sunday, August 1, 2010

In high school we had the option of signing up for home economics or shop. Boys chose shop, girls chose home economics. Being contrarian by nature, and thinking this might be a good way of meeting boys- I signed up for Shop. I made a very nice wooden stool shaped like a turtle- but I didn't make any love connections. Since that time, I have completely and utterly regretted my decision.

I love clothes! I love fabric! What was I thinking!

I finally found a way to make right that bad adolescent choice I made 25 (or more) years ago. I signed up for an online sewing class! I am so excited, I can't wait to go shopping for my fabrics:-) My husband bought me a machine for my birthday two years ago - and I have used it, but teaching myself has many drawbacks. I have made some lovely playscapes for my daughter, some very funny hats, a couple of wall hangings, and I have hemmed a few pairs of pants. I also have many projects that I have begun- and never finished. Button holes and zippers are daunting tasks that I haven't drummed up the courage to attempt. So, here I go. Of course with working full time, taking care of two small children under 4, teaching, having a relationship with my husband and friends, and trying to still make some art- I will get even less sleep. But who needs sleep! I am too excited! Think of the possibilities!

My machine... I should think of a suitable name for her. Have you named your sewing machine?