Tagged: active voice

Good freelance writing requires that you choose a voice for your message or narrative.

Voice refers to the relationship between two particular components of each sentence – the verb and the subject.

OK, let me be right up front with you here. I hate grammar lessons. I started writing professionally 40 years ago and, to this very day, I know next to nothing when it comes to language mechanics.

For instance, ask me to explain the difference between a noun and a pronoun. In response you hear the sound of crickets.

I bet, though, you can tell the difference because you’re a good freelance writer. (Oooh, did you like the way I sneaked the keyword phrase in there? No? You think I harmed the dignity of the profession by doing that? Well, we can talk about SEO another day, my good freelance writer friend. For now, let’s stick with the topic at hand.)

So, anyway, as I was saying, I hate grammar lessons, and I am determined not to get all technical on you here. That said, I still need to explain this business of voice and its importance.

Up until this sentence, nearly every line I uttered used “active voice.” Dictionary.com defines active voice as a situation where the subject performs an act. Example:

“Joe parked the car.”

Dictionary.com defines passive voice as a situation where the verb acts on the subject. Example:

“The car was parked by Joe.”

Dictionary.com adds that “it is usually preferable to use the active voice wherever possible, because it gives a sense of immediacy to the sentence.”

I completely agree. That sense of immediacy gets readers of good freelance writing turned on and begging for more.

Granted, there is a time and place for passive voice (like in this sentence). One place it works poorly: a press release.

Let me show you what I mean. This morning, I grabbed two press releases hot off the wires. One used active voice. The other used passive. Passive first:

You may know The Savings Bank Life Insurance Company of Massachusetts (SBLI) as the company that has provided generations of families with affordable, dependable life insurance and annuities. Now, SBLI is going above and beyond by offering a product to customers which they can use long after they’ve purchased their coverage.

Now the one with active voice:

Synagro today requested a building permit to develop its Slate Belt Heat Recovery Center tying directly into the Green Knight Energy Center and within the township’s solid waste zone….Synagro expects to spend up to $26 million constructing the facility.

Basically, your sentences speak in passive voice if they contain the words “has,” “was,” or “is.” You need to use those constructs sparingly if you want your readers to really engage with your writing.

So, a tip of the hat to the folks at Synagro for speaking in active voice.

Meanwhile, Savings Bank Life Insurance Company of Massachusetts must see me after class. I want to show them how to convert passive voicing into the active form of it.

Heck, let me just demonstrate it now in front of everyone.

RICH SMITH SUGGESTED REWRITE:

Known for providing affordable, dependable life insurance and annuities to generations of families, The Savings Bank Life Insurance Company of Massachusetts (SBLI) now goes above and beyond by offering a product designed for use long after the purchase of coverage.

In addition to giving crisper tone and pacing, this active voice conversion also makes the key points of this narrative much more accessible to readers.

That’s really important, so let it sink in. Accessibility to information counts for everything in writing.

Rich Smith

Rich Smith is a public relations and marketing communications specialist who lives near Sacramento, California. He writes press releases, blogs, social-media chatter, website content, landing pages, email campaigns, customer engagement scripts, and more. Accounts he has worked on include the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the Tournament of Roses Assn., and Howard Hughes' Summa Corp.