Dr. Football has cure for MSU, Patriots and snow

Oh. Well, we all want the Lions, if only to prove that last week was a mirage. But their receivers aren’t getting enough separation, their quarterback isn’t finding the passing lanes, their running game is erratic, and their road victories so far are against bad teams (Jets, Vikings). Foxboro is a tough place to play. Also, there’s this fella they have up there named Brady.

Can he do to the Lions what he did Sunday to the Colts?

I think you mean Jonas Gray. He had 201 yards rushing and four touchdowns.

Who’s Jonas Gray?

Exactly.

How about Shane Vereen?

Loved him in “Pippin.”

What happened to Golden Tate last week?

Bad alchemy.

Will Reggie Bush play this week?

Guaranteed! For at least one series.

Hey, Dr. Football. Don’t be so impressed with Tom Brady. He only puts that black stuff under his eyes because he thinks he’s so cool.

Easy, Peyton.

Cash, championships and crime

Dr. Football, can you believe Alabama is back in the driver’s seat for the national championship?

Like swallows returning to Capistrano.

How do they do that?

You start at No. 4 and keep playing No. 1, No. 2 or No. 3.

How can Michigan State do that?

Find an East Lansing in Georgia.

Dr. Football. Can you believe Mark Dantonio is the second-highest-paid college football coach this year — only one spot behind Alabama’s Nick Saban? How is that right?

He’s only one spot ahead of Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops. How is THAT right?

Do you agree with critics who say Frank Clark should never have been on the Michigan football team, given his previous offenses?

Only if they said so right after his previous offenses.

Is Brady Hoke to blame for Clark’s actions?

Hoke is to blame for a 5-5 record. Apparently, at Michigan, that makes him to blame for everything.

Dr. Football, are you privately rooting for Boston College to beat Florida State this weekend to end the charade of the Seminoles as a national title contender?

Not privately.

Hey, Doc. Did you see where Kansas City, heading into Thursday’s game, is talking all tough because the Chiefs won, like, five games in a row and they’re, like, tied with the Broncos and like, they think they’re really good. Ha-ha. The Chiefs. I mean. Like. The Chiefs?

You want to sit down, Peyton?

Yo, Doc. Can we talk Adrian Peterson?

Do we have to?

We could talk Ray Rice.

Peterson it is.

A bully as commissioner

The NFL has suspended Peterson without pay for the rest of the season, even though his child-abuse case was resolved in a misdemeanor plea. How can commissioner Roger Goodell play God like that?

In the NFL, he thinks he is God.

Why is he being so harsh?

The NFL is entertainment. It counts on happy viewers. Goodell doesn’t want more bad news introduced to what already has been a horrendous season for him. So he sits Peterson to send a message that he’s tough on bad behavior, and hopes by next year, it all cools down.

Given what Peterson did to his 4-year-old, is this the right thing to do?

A better question: Given what Peterson did to his 4-year-old, was reducing it to a misdemeanor the right thing to do?

Hey, Dr. Football, let’s lighten this up. How about that fan who intercepted a football, tossed it to a female fan and wouldn’t give it back?

The bad news is, his reputation is ruined. The good news is, the Raiders just signed him as a safety.

What do you think of the New York governor saying, given the snow in Buffalo, the Bills playing the Jets there is “impractical.”

Anyone playing the Jets is impractical.

I’ll play them!

You already did, Peyton.

To send a question for Dr. Football next week, contact Mitch Albom: malbom@freepress.com. Check out the latest updates with his charities, books and events at MitchAlbom.com.