x+y=u: curse of the closet

As I mentioned last week, a lot of Grindr users seem to identify as bisexual, or not at all. I feel for their loved ones, who may be kept in the dark. But our empathy should also extend to those who feel they need to repress their sexuality and live a lie.

‘Closet cases’ can do us a great disservice. There’s also immeasurable tragedy in the isolation and despair that burdens their existence.

For those who grow up into something they’ve been taught to hate.

Like recently noted ‘ex-gay’ Adam Hood. As reported by SSO, this guy was booked for public appearances where he apparently offered some insight into his ‘cure’ from homosexuality.

His Australian gigs have all been cancelled.

He purses and tut-tuts about drug-fuelled witchcraft, the gay Mafia and queer Satanism. But watching the footage, it’s obvious the real crime is that neckerchief. Everyone knows Matt Preston is the only straight man who’s allowed to wear cravats.

As with many bi guys coming out, they’re faced with a cruel, byzantine discrimination — shunned by the hetero community, eschewed by us.

I can’t begin to know what it’s like. I’m as gay as they come. I may not seem it. But I am. I just don’t like giney.

We may suffer enormously at the hands of bullies. But at least for those of us who aren’t stigmatised by the ‘bi-curious’ label, we find some solace among community — somewhere we fit in — later in life.

As with Adam Hood, we’ve been so aghast by his diatribe — and how overtly camp he is — that we’ve lost sight of the real culprits — ignorant, myopic homophobes.

Societal discrimination and fundamentalist religion have a lot to answer for.

‘Ex-gay movements’ are dangerous. They may have been scientifically debunked. But as long as homosexuality is considered an illness, those struggling to fight the very essence of who they are will suffer. The illness, however, is not their sexuality. It’s the shame we’re conditioned to feel.

Like me, you don’t have to like giney either. Unless you’re a lesbian. Then it’s perfectly normal to like giney. And boobs. And to dislike dick … which I like. And you can too.