crazy

i usaually enjoy being crazy,
but when i don't, i hate it.
when it is not making like fun,
it makes me feel like shit.
the fun things about it are:
being straight up and to the point.
being out spoken, some times too much,
and not caring where i light up a joint.
nobode ever really knows what to expect,
most won't do or say most things i do.
i am fun to be around most days,
i always do what i want to.
there are also the down side to crazy,
crazy can be bad in many ways.
i don't like to be around just anyone,
when it comes to the bad days.
not only does it make me sad,
my attitude is some times really bad.
my mood is not blue, but dark grey,
some days all i do is stay mad.
i say things that i really don't mean,
even start fights for no reason.
i can not control my moods each day,
day to day can seem like a different season.
i really feel bad for people around me,
the ones who know me will see it the most.
the ones who don't are some times shocked,
others seem to run for the door.
i know the ones who understand me,
either love me or have been where i am.
it is hardest for the ones who love me,
only two have really been there, julie and kat.