The Holy Communion

Tonight the Lord showed me His glory, his splendor. His big heart. His forgiveness.

I’ve been battling this with myself for a long time…from the time the Lord told me to take the Holy Communion on a daily basis to now, finally taking it on a daily basis. From ignorance to full obedience. And it just works. Like a miracle.

I bought my “bread” in winter in Buffalo. I bought my “Jesus blood” along with the bread. I got a little measuring scoop to hold the pint of blood while I partake. Then it got all sticky and soon I was busy with graduation.

The box of bread had been sitting there till 2 weeks ago, when I moved into Pittsford, and I moved the box of bread closer to my bed, so that I would be reminded of it. Not until 1 week ago did I start taking Holy Communion every morning. And I thought back, all those things I did to make my health better. Taking energy drinks and thinking I was recharged. Taking multiple multivitamins everyday and making myself look like a sick person. Controlling my diet and end up in constant hunger. All these things wouldn’t be any use without the Lord!

What made me realize that?

Well first of all, I got weaker and weaker… I could feel constant exhaustion in my bones. My back ached like I was coming down with a cold anytime soon. I can’t think properly because “tired” is always on my mind. I only had enough energy to go so far as my will does.

My lifestyle: I sleep before 12 everyday, I wake up at 7am and I take 3 meals. Sometimes I cook, sometimes I eat out, and I watch my diet, taking only healthy food.

But I had less energy then when I was 18 and sleeping at 2am on average. I was TIRED all the time.
I trusted other sources time and time again. I had this cartoon of energy drinks sitting there. So I thought, I can take one everyday at work. I ended up crashing before 9pm. From then on, I never dared take the rest of the cartoon.

That was the time I decided, I had to stop. I had to stop trying. I have to go to the one sure thing. The only one sure thing that I know will help me.

Trust me, everytime I want to take Holy Communion, you bet I will have many questions popping all over my head like, “why start now? If you start now, can you commit? If you can’t why start? U think God is going to heal you when you can’t be committed to it? since u never started before, why start now?” All these questions eventually drown my initial will to take the Holy Communion. (Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Something along the lines of perhaps… the devil?)

But I was in a desperate situation. I was left with this constant tiredness and nothing I have tried so far have helped me. I took great determination to push all that thoughts aside and just focused on what I know the Lord had said, had promised me. I also recite it.

On Monday morning, even though I was still tired, I realize I wasn’t totally tired. I wasn’t depleted tired. I felt tired but there was about 20%-25% of me that was protected. It was as if a reserved portion of me weren’t allowed to be tired. and I felt it in my abdomen.

The chill of tiredness attacked my lungs and all the way down; I was helpless. But that 23.5% reserve remains.

The revelation:
A few moments ago, I got into this clearing process in the kitchen. My roommate participated along. After she went to bed, I just couldn’t let go. I opened the refrigerator door and started taking out stuff and hunting for their expiry dates. By now, the carton of energy drinks had already been lined up in the fridge in their color code—orange, purple and yellow. Their expiry date was 2 months ago and I threw the whole bunch out. Their colors looked like poison to me now.

I went back to bed, thinking I had trusted those colorful bottles to energize me and the fact is they were already expired? I felt so silly.

If I hadn’t stop and geared myself towards the Lord, I would have sworn to finish each bottle every day. It would be like drinking poison, wanting it to heal your body. I thought back to that night when I crashed after taking my first bottle.

Believing in the Lord opened up a can of worms on my situation and helped me see the light of truth. Shudders.

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6 responses to this post.

🙂 I wanna start taking holy communion soon. The strange thing is it was v. hard for me to begin because the random times i took it, i had nothing to represent the bread and thus i was using COOKIES and somehow i was stumbled by my choice of element. Lol.

Tomorrow i shall go grab some NORMAL biscuits and tell myself to use it for holy communion and not FINISH them as if they’re snacks.

It doesnt really matter what you use to represent bread, it is the reminder of what we have for our Lord Jesus. heard from my CGL (care group leader) that someone takes buns and ribena daily when he partakes the holy comm… My Holy Comm Leader also told us to partake Holy Comm at least twice a day, to be constantly reminded of the Lord. If we could remember to take our medicine twice/thrice a day, likewise why cant we partake the holy comm?