Also, We’re Ruining Your Relationships

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2010/07/21/2010-07-21_romantic_comedies_ruin_reallife_relationships_survey.html#ixzz0uNUGMnt7
Romantic comedies might provide 90 minutes of light-hearted fun but the happy-ever-after movies are also impacting people’s real love lives, according to an Australian survey.

A poll of 1,000 Australians found almost half said rom-coms with their inevitable happy endings have ruined their view of an ideal relationship.

One in four Australians said they were now expected to know what their partner was thinking while one in five respondents said it made their partners expect gifts and flowers ‘just because’.

“It seems our love of rom-coms is turning us into a nation of “happy-ever-after addicts.” Yet the warm and fuzzy feeling they provide can adversely influence our view of real relationships,” said Australian relationship counselor, Gabrielle Morrissey.

“Real relationships take work and true love requires more than fireworks.”

I’d agree if this were only about bad romcoms. Too often they’ve got some couple apparently madly in love for no particular reason, just “fireworks” and sleepwalking through tired cliches until the inevitable end is reached. But thats bad writing, not a bad genre.

I have to agree with your assessment that the 50% quoted were the male portion of the poll. This is precisely why I rarely take the hubbin to see rom-coms. (There was also the unfortunate incident involving him and his bff [a chick] who insisted on coming with me to see “Sweet Home Alabama” with me that they are still both in the doghouse for… but I digress) We’re both happier that way. 😉

Yeah, the expecting gifts “just because” as an outrage I did not get. I do that for the kids all the time and sometimes for Lani, too. You see something that people would love–say a bright silver bag with a pink a unicorn on it because Somebody collected unicorns once–and you just get it because it’s there and it’s $7 and you know they’ll laugh. You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to do that, women do it all the time. And I think a lot of men do, too. It’s the whole, “I saw this and thought of you,” not the idea that there’s a gift there. Every time I see something like this, I think of Bill Sykes from the movie Oliver, when Nancy asks him if he loves her: “I lives you with you, don’t I?” Fabulous.

Well, dear gussie, if we’re going to ban rom coms, then we might as well all movies, all songs, all plays, all fiction . . . anything that promotes imagination and something “not real”. . . although, I wouldn’t mind it if splatter flicks were the first to go.

Must have been a slow news day to get that article written.

Perhaps rom coms should be a little more instructive and morality-play-like (with morals like: if she comes her brains out first, you’ll get more nookie). It’s true that many people take life lessons from entertainment sources (-:.

Apparently, if you live together before getting married, your marriage has a greater chance of failing than if you don’t. Why? Because (reportedly) there’s more equality in the living together relationship, but after marriage, men tend to slip into archaic sex roles.

The bottom line advice from this survey was, don’t live together first and you’ll be happier in your marriage.

In other words, keeping women ignorant about how a relationship SHOULD work be is the key to a long and happy marriage.

If you are dumb enough to think that fiction informs real life, you deserve everything you get.

On the other hand, my husband gets me nice presents out of the blue “just because”, despite his absolute refusal to read or watch romance fiction in any media, and without me ever mentioning the concept to him. I’m not sure how he got indoctrinated in those habits through his preferences for football, professional wrestling, historical war fiction, superhero novels, and psychological thrillers, but then again, I didn’t marry a clueless, inconsiderate, weak-willed idiot, either.

Um, I’m a woman. I know fiction is imaginary. It may be idealistic, but still imaginary. Ain’t no way I’m going to confuse Cary Grant with my husband. But that’s another story 😉

Also, I’m with Jenny on the gifts-for-no-reason thing. I go to Target. I see something my mom/bff/husband would love and I get it. I don’t go, oh his/her birthday is in three months I’ll wait. This is possibly just a chick thing.