Ask the Bugman: Spiders are only dangerous when people act foolishly

so they don’t have to use toxic pesticides or hire someone to spray their home inside and out.

Most pests can be controlled using non-toxic methods. The first thing you need to do is inspect your home inside and out, look for places pests can get in and then seal the areas.

Many homes have crawl spaces under them. It is a good idea to go under your home and inspect it if you can. I have been under thousands of homes over the years and have only had two incidents that were strange.

On one occasion, I had to go into a crawl space to do a termite inspection.

This was in Florida. The house was near a canal.

After I made several turns in the crawl space, my flashlight died and I couldn’t see the opening or daylight anywhere. I started crawling toward where I thought the opening was when I heard a low growl.

I never heard a noise like that and thought there was a dog under the house with me.

I fished out my cigarette lighter (good thing I smoked in those days) and lit it. I discovered I had almost crawled over 6-foot long alligator sleeping under the house.

Needless to say I dropped my lighter and crawled in the opposite direction as fast as I could.

It only took a few minutes to see the daylight coming through the crawl space opening. I told the lady I couldn’t find any termites, but she had an alligator under the house.

Actually, I don’t know if she had termites as I never finished the inspection.

She said the alligator lived under her house when it wasn’t in the canal. She just forgot to tell me about it.

On another occasion, I went under a house in Bloomfield, and I didn’t wear a shirt or T-shirt as it was hot out. I was crawling around when I felt a pinch on my stomach.

I put my flashlight down there and I crawled over a black widow that bit me on the stomach. I crawled out and told the homeowner I would have to come back and finish the inspection.

I drove home to Albuquerque and my wife asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital. I said no and just sat in a chair for a couple of days.

My wife brought me food and beer and I was fine fairly soon.

So, if you are visiting friends in Florida and somebody asks you to go under the house, make sure there aren’t any alligators under there and never crawl under a house half naked.

Someone asked me if spiders are dangerous. Yes!

In one case, a woman jumped out of her car while she was driving because she saw a spider on her shoulder. The car was wrecked.

In another case, a woman saw a spider on her rear-view mirror and panicked and ran off the road. She wasn’t hurt but her car was wrecked.

In another situation, a spider got loose from a cage on an airplane, forcing the plane to land as soon as possible. I guess they were afraid the spider would kill all the passengers.

Then there was a guy who tried to kill a spider with a cigarette lighter at a gas station and ignited a big fire from the gas.

And then there was the fellow in Seattle who found a spider in his house and decided to kill it with a lighter and a can of spray paint. He burned his house down.