You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns when it can manage to in these troubled Trumpian times. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.

November 28th

Memo to Eric Trump, Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, and James O’Keefe: YOU ARE PRIVILEGED TO BE DUMB.

Privilege! There are a few ways to have it, not a lot of ways to get it, and it proffers a great advantage on those who manage to go through life with it. No matter how ignorant, venal, or incompetent you are, you’ll be just fine, because there’ll always be other idiots around to support IDIOTS when they SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

“The irony of an ABC reporter (whose parent company Disney has profited nearly half a billion dollars on the movie ‘Pocahontas’) inferring that the name is ‘offensive’ is truly staggering to me. - Eric Trump, who’s gonna be pissed in eight months or so when he realizes he’s never actually been working for the administration.

One of the great things about privilege is that it allows you to go through life, being Eric Trump, and living a life of ease and luxury despite not knowing the meaning of the words “irony” or “offensive”. If Eric Trump were right about “offensive”, he’d still be wrong about “irony”, because what he’s describing is in fact “hypocrisy”, which, admittedly, is a word the Trump family refuses to acknowledge the existence of.

And, of course, Disney made a movie called “Pocahontas” because it was about Pocahontas. And sure, the movie suffered from both not being very good and also from what white male studio executives thought diversity and feminism meant in the mid-90s, but a Trump, mired in what both diversity and feminism meant in the 1830s, doesn’t get to say shit about that, because doing so would be... wait for it... hypocritical as all fuck.

” I think what most people find offensive is Senator Warren lying about her heritage to advance her career.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who does not have the worst job.

Another great thing about privilege is that people feel sympathy for you because your job, which you do gladly and willingly, is to defend our current greatest monster. Sanders’ claim, and others like it used in the defense of Trump dropping “Pocahontas” in front of Andrew Jackson at Navajo codetalkers, has appeared unchallenged in most news stories about Trump being a diiiiiiick. And it’s not true. At all. It’s a right-wing meme that everyone just takes as a given because the exaggeration plays into tropes and also the media loves right-wing memes.

First, Warren did not “lie”. At worst, she’s MAYBE wrong to think she was 1/32nd Native based on genealogy and family stories. Keep in mind the first person to challenge that claim’s sole argument was how Warren looks, so there’s even less intellectual rigor there than in the genealogy And second, she included the information in a Harvard faculty directory after she was working there. It was never to advance her career, it was a response to a questionnaire. But hey, no need to point any of this out, newspapers! What’s one more fucking lie perpetuated by these fucking liars?

"Following months of undercover work within The Washington Post, our investigative journalist embedded within the publication had their cover blown. This is how undercover work goes. This isn't the first time that has happened, and it won't be the last time." - James O’Keefe, accidentally partially correct for the first time ever.

The last great thing about privilege is that it allows you to be James O’Keefe, not know the meaning of ANY OF THE WORDS in his first sentence, and somehow not living under a bridge yelling at passersby about how Planned Parenthood did Benghazi. If you haven’t heard by now, O’Keefe sent a woman pretending to be a Roy Moore victim to the Washington Post, assuming the Post would publish her claim without any regard for facts or checking out her story because that’s all the media he associates with works, too.

The Post found Project Veritas’ “undercover operative” fairy quickly, partly because she used her real name that she also used on a GoFundMe for moving expenses to go work for Project Veritas, because these people are fucking idiots and also believe in personal fiscal responsibility until THEY NEEDS SOMETHING. The only thing O’Keefe was right about is that this has happened before, because he’s a fucking moron, and this will happen again, because he’s a fucking moron who never experiences real consequences for being a fucking moron.