Zoe Saldana covers the January issue of Lucky magazine to promote her latest movie, Out of the Furnace, which did nothing at the box office a few weeks ago. Man. The film stars Christian Bale, Casey Affleck, Woody Harrelson, and Willem Dafoe … and nothing. I guess Zoe would be wise to keep filming those blockbusters she can’t stand. She told Lucky all about how she spent five hours per day in makeup for the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy. She’s painted green for her role, and yet she complains about it. Which is strange. She knew her character was green from the beginning, right?

The last time we heard from Zoe, she dropped a bomb in Flaunt magazine about how she’s “a lady, not a giddy little girl.” Some of you thought Zoe was throwing some shade at ex-boyfriend Bradley Cooper for dating a now 21-year-old model. You may be correct. I’ve been thinking that Zoe is a little bit “off” ever since she married Italian artist Marcus Perego after only five months of dating. She was with her previous fiancé for nine years, dated Bradley for less than a year, and then married Marcus when she barely knew him. Strange. Here are some excerpts from Lucky:

Perhaps about her new husband? “Class is not defined by money.”

On “real” men: “A man likes a woman as she is. You know when you meet a real man from the way he talks about a woman. You just go, ‘Wow, you’re a man.’ When I hear men say, ‘I don’t want droopy breasts,’ I think, ‘I’m sorry, you’re not really a man.”

She wants a boob job? “My whole life, I’ve been obsessed with breasts. I love them. I don’t like fake things, but I wouldn’t mind buying myself a pair before I die.”

Zoe is a “real” woman: “I don’t need someone to open the door for me. I can open a jar! I can give two sh-ts about what somebody thought I looked like. I like looking strong. I don’t need someone to open the door for me. I can open a jar! For some reason, dressing very delicately brings out a fragility that compels people to help you and, I don’t like it.”

Gah, she keeps talking about being able to open jars. That's a strange subject for her to continue discussing. Is that a thing -- not being able to open jars? They make those grippy things that make jar opening super easy. Or you can just do what I do: Try ... tap tap ... try ... say a few curse words ... hit with spoon ... try again. Eventually it works.

Don't even get me started on Zoe getting a boob job. Whatever I say on the topic will come out wrong.

Here's some photos of Zoe with Marco after a shopping trip at Barneys yesterday.

Girl, does Kate Hudson, Carmen Diaz, Nicole Kidman, and Hilary Swank look better with bolt ons? No, they don’t. Small and natural is super sexy!!!!!! Big and natural is super sexy!!!!!! See where I’m going with this?

Oh, I gotta say it. I can’t not say it. I have G cups & am US 6. I go crazy when peeps hate on big boobs. They’re great for nuzzling. If you have big boobs & you hate them there’s a chance you may not be using them correctly.

It’s not a matter of “using them correctly” it’s a matter of carrying those huge things around and suffering from chronic back and shoulder pain. I know that other people might really love them, every man I’ve dated worshiped at my big booby temple, but my decision to get them reduced wasn’t about them, it was about me. Not using them correctly…please.

AMEN! take it from a 42 DD sized gal in a 5’3″ frame….it can be downright traumatic. It’s rare to fin clothes that fit right. When they fit right on the vust area, they look like a potato sack…or when the waist fits hen it doesn’t close on the bust area…not to kention trying to exercise. Ugh!!!!

Preach! And I’m 5.1″ so I always look top-heavy and I have a devil of a time finding the right bra. I’m gonna save up for a breast reduction and a lift. Hopefully I can get this done before the big 4-0.

Do it!!! I had a breast reduction when I turned 50 – went from a 36 E to a 36 C and it was the most amazing relief. I remember waking up, sitting up, standing up and feeling as light as a feather. I kept looking at myself in profile, amazed that I looked normal instead of like the prow of a battleship.

So… if a woman can’t open a jar, she should feel bad about herself for not having the average strength of a man. Women must be like men to be worth anything. And also have big breasts. Oh, okay Zoe, whatever.

I hoped someone would comment on her “can give” mess of a sentence structure! And yeah, Zoe cares. She gives some sh-ts. A LOT of sh-ts, based on how she constantly needs to convince us that she doesn’t.

I think she is probably tired of people jumping to do things for her, as she takes it as a sign that they find her needy, weak, etc. Sometimes when women are small and thin-framed, people have a tendancy to treat you as if you are in need of help even when you don’t ask for it. She seems to be a person that takes pride in her accomplishments and being independent, even if that accomplishment is opening a jar on her own.

I understand where she is coming from, but in her sound bites, she does sound a bit aggressive recently. I think she could phrase it better.

But who’s jumping to do things for her? Who does that anymore, nowadays, jump to do things for women or treat them like “fragile little things”? No one does it for me or for any of the women I know. Men are practically afraid to hold doors or offer to open jars or help you if you drop something or fall down. I don’t buy that her anger is a reaction against being treated as helpless. It’s pretty much out of fashion/outdated, plus Zoe works in a field that is dominated by progressive liberals. I doubt anyone is treating her like a little thing. On the contrary, I would imagine if anyone is treating her with deference it’s because she’s famous and in demand, not because she’s female. That’s an industry that THROWS themselves at famous people. I don’t think she’s being treated fragile or less-than at all. I think she’s got a chip on her shoulder that stems from something way back before she was famous and isn’t related to being famous, or female, or Black, or whatever. I think she’s arrogant, has a bad attitude, and a chip. I bet it’s very hard to please her. I remember the interview where she talked about going to the Dominican Republic as a young girl and having Dominicans ask her is she considered herself “Dominican or American” and she would testily reply “I AM BLACK”. So angry, so defensive! That’s insecurity. Like @Sloane said. Deep insecurities going on there.

I shouldn’t judge the woman on a few clicks from a camera. It’s much more fair to judge her from her own words. That said, I do think there are enough pictures showing her basically with the same attitude, coupled with her horrible attitude in print, that leads me to believe she’s probably a real handful in a relationship. I know women like this. They make their men practically grovel for affection. It’s really sad, this need to control a relationship by withdrawing affection until she feels like she’s good and ready to give. It’s a form of emotional abuse. I shouldn’t say I believe she IS like this. It’s only a theory because she reminds me of a couple women I’ve known and have seen them in action with their men.

Maureen and Kimble, these are reasonable photo assumptions. Zoe looks like she’s flinching from her hottie husband. Boy is a little short, but I love his hair and his openly loving body language that’s in glaring contrast to to his wife’s!

Zoe is the most compliant woman in hollywood today. She doesn’t see racism. She doesn’t see sexism. She says she effortlessly is beautiful and thin. She aims like a laser to say at all times what is pleasing to the white dudes running hollywood. She is their racism beard and courtesan.

Their body language is off but maybe it’s because of some paparazzo stalking them and taking their pic.

I used to want larger breasts but now that I’m in my 30s, I really appreciate my small chest. I can run and workout without issues. I already carry a lot of stress in my shoulders so I think bigger boobs would make that unbearable.

Oh good! I was HOPING you’d cover this interview. Here’s Zoe again beating her chest about jars and car doors. God, she is SO arrogant. Isn’t the entertainment media sick of hearing her shtick? Do the journalists/interviewers gossip about her when they’re together? If you’ve read one of her interviews you’ve read them all. She basically quotes herself ad nauseum!

I am genuinely confused as to how wanting to open your own jar is arrogant. It seems a bit hyper-independent to me and a bit high strung (who stresses over something so small?), but I don’t find it arrogant. If there is a part that maybe I mis-read or am not understanding, feel free to catch me up!

“I can give two sh-ts about what somebody thought I looked like.”
Guessing she meant that she *couldn’t* give two sh-ts about what other people think of her appearance. Or maybe just stick with the first quote, I highly doubt that someone who is so prickly and defensive in interviews and also works in such an appearance orientated industry can genuinely be at peace with themselves vis a vis their looks.
Hell, I have issues with body image and I’ve never even set foot on a stage! (Barring a traumatic nativity play circa 1995).

Not sure what to make of Zoe and her new husband Marcus. Seen plenty of photos on the Daily Mail and they seem very PDA heavy. Though its seems he generally has open body language and is more touchy feely (he’s Italian).

I do think they got married QUICK and are apparently still in the honeymoon phase. My impression with these photos is like he’s “love bombing” her. They’re caught in the rush of chemicals right now and I hope it translates into lasting love. Personally, I don’t trust it when a guy comes on so strong, because those type of men can go cold just as quick.

The body language in those pictures, though. He’s holding her and her arms are just limply by her sides. And in the first pic, it seems like she’s leaning away from him. I know pictures are just a moment in time, but those moments seem to be saying so much.

I can no longer open jars. After my mastectomy (over 3 yrs ago), my chest muscles still hurt so bad to strain them. I never knew if would alter the many day to day activities that it has. My husband got me one of those jar thingys to help open them and it works like a charm. But no more working out using my chest muscles. Just hurts too much.

I am so sorry to hear that!
It was winter when my mother had her double mastectomy, and I remember how the cold weather made her muscles tense up and it would cause her a lot of pain. i am so sorry to hear how you are still dealing with pain after 3 years. The sad thing is that breast cancer has affected so many families, but the beautiful thing is that also means we have a large community of support!

I have always had average sized breasts…between a C and a D. I never thought much about it until I got pregnant and then went up to an E cup. I was absolutely miserable. I couldn’t find a bra that fit and I always hurt. I couldn’t wait to go back to my normal size after the birth of my son and breast feeding. So, Zoe…if you get implants (whatever makes you happy) get SMALL ones. I hate it when super thin women get large breasts that don’t fit their frame. It just looks weird. She should look to other thin actresses like Cameron Diaz and Kate Hudson for beautiful, subtle breast implants.
As for Zoe…she is an odd duck. I don’t understand what she’s getting at. Women are supposed to be strong and open our own doors and jars? Otherwise what? We aren’t equal? Personally, I feel like I am a strong, independent woman. If my husband opens doors for me I thank him. If I need a jar open and he’s with me I will ask him to do it. BUT what Zoe doesn’t seem to understand here is that you can be a strong, capable, independent woman AND appreciate that a man cherishes you and likes to treat you like a “lady” (as she has described herself before). A man that opens doors for you, etc. is a “gentleman”. There’s something to be said for a man who is thoughtful and loving and anticipates your needs. How is that a bad thing? She really makes no sense.

I don’t know much about her. Just the interviews that are posted here at CB. So I don’t know what her background is and how/why all her interviews seem to lead to the same topic of Zoe talking about herself being strong, her aunts/mother/sisters/whatever being strong, JARS, how she doesn’t have any shits to give (LIAR), and car doors. I don’t understand what the prompt is that gets her talking about this stuff time after time. So I’m left assuming she’s just extremely arrogant, has a chip on her shoulder about how she (thinks?) she’s perceived and just in general has her fists up all the time. Like I said the last time there was a post about Zoe: JADA PINKETT SMITH. I think some women are just angry.

Zoe’s Dominican (as am I) and I know I have really complicated feelings about femininity, independence, individuality, strength, and what it means to be a good Dominican woman. I also get her issues with race because I grew up with the same bullcrap. I’m not going to speak for every Dominican woman out there, but I know my upbringing seems to mirror the kind of adult she grew up to be.

So glad I’m not famous…I’d probably be saying similar things in magazine interviews.

I want her to disappear already! So smug and stupid. Why is this the black actress getting all the attention? She sucks. Too shallow. Please world focus on someone else.

As for the photos with her husband: she is SO over him in those pics. Seriously, her body is stiff as a rock and she’s wearing bitch-face. Not surprising seeing as how they only just met and now she’s stuck married to him.

“LadyS says:
December 24, 2013 at 12:12 pm
I want her to disappear already! So smug and stupid. Why is this the black actress getting all the attention? She sucks. Too shallow. Please world focus on someone else.”

It’s just that she gives such a bad name to black women. She comes off as stupid. I’m black and it bothers me that she’s representing us in Hollywood. Let’s be honest she’s Halle’s replacement and that worries me. There’s only ever room for one blockbuster black actress at a time and I guess Hollywood has settled on Zoe. If she’s going to be acting this way…f—! That’s why I want her to disappear so someone with more poise and modesty takes over. We need that; we really do!!

It seems like she can’t make up her mind about who she is- a Strong, Real, Liberated Woman Who Does Not Care About How Others See Her and Her Looks, an actress who has posed nude, taken on a sexualized movie role, and wants fake boobs, or a Lady™ Who Frowns Upon ‘Skanks’ And Is Superior To Them. Somebody should clue the poor girl in and let her know that she can’t be all 3, so that she doesn’t keep making a fanny of herself in interviews.

Gah, she’s annoying. However, can’t shade all boob jobs. After 4 kids and 6 years of nursing, my formerly cute b cups were a nipple on a sack of skin. I had the best plastic surgeon bring me to a small c, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. They’re perfect for my frame, and I can wear a bikini again without looking freaky.

Done with this B-list fool. Every time she speaks I roll her eyes, she comes across as such an idiot. All she’s good for is blockbusters that require little talent. I bet she thinks she worked real magic in Nina. That film is gonna bomb and I’m gonna be said for Nina and her family (who did NOT want Zoe to play Nina) because this woman deserved a REAL star to portray her.

i AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN.. and I like men to open door for me. I don’t care. I like it and I expect the man in my life to do it. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean that you lose the things that make you feel soft. I can open jars. Paint, change a tire, switch out light features, hell I mow my own lawn when i need to. I am more handy around the house than by boyfriend.. but dammit I want door opened and I like when he fills my gas tank without me asking.

doesn’t make me weak. I don’t know why women think such things do.

I think she thinks deep down she should be a bigger star than she is. I see that same thing when I read interviews by some other actresses. I don’t know. But if you are a strong woman and independent you wear that always. People see it. You don’t have to proclaim it or shout it from the roof top. It is an aura that surrounds you. I don’t think she is as strong as she wants to believe she is.

I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN.. and I like men to open door for me. I don’t care. I like it and I expect the man in my life to do it. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean that you lose the things that make you feel soft. I can open jars. Paint, change a tire, switch out light features, hell I mow my own lawn when i need to. I am more handy around the house than by boyfriend.. but dammit I want doors opened and I like when he fills my gas tank without me asking.

doesn’t make me weak. I don’t know why women think such things do.

I think she thinks deep down she should be a bigger star than she is. I see that same thing when I read interviews by some other actresses. I don’t know. But if you are a strong woman and independent you wear that always. People see it. You don’t have to proclaim it or shout it from the roof top. It is an aura that surrounds you. I don’t think she is as strong as she wants to believe she is.

I believe Zoe has been friends with her husband for a few years now; it just wasn’t a romantic relationship until shortly before they got married. And typically try not to judge couples based on body language too much because I knew some very touchy freely couples who appeared to be the picture love that ended up splitting. The ones I always thought had no romantic are still together. Other than that, I don’t have much to add.

I’d be happy if Zoe retired. Kinda sick of her at this point. It’s either that or I’m just ugh at her being cast as Gamora for Guardians of the Galaxy. Kinda like the Wonder Woman casting, wrong frame and just wrong look period. She’s stuck on making all the sci-fi movies right now and lucky me that’s one of my favorite genres. -eye roll-