The Mother BlogJekyll2017-02-20T15:42:30-06:00http://themotherblog.com/The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.com/themomwhoblogs@gmail.comhttp://themotherblog.com/dear-childless-friend
http://themotherblog.com/dear-childless-friend2017-02-20T00:00:00-06:002017-02-20T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>Dear Childless Friend,</p>
<p>I need you in my life. This isn’t a kids vs. no kids thing. I just need you in my life because you were my friend at a different time in our lives. When we were friends, we were both young and carefree. I need to remember those times, and I’m sure you do as well.</p>
<p>I have my children on my mind, and you have things on your mind also. Tell me about those things. Talk to me about your marriage and your dog. I want to hear it all. I want to hear about how frustrating your boss is or how your husband and you are taking a trip away next weekend. Tell me all of it. I promise I’m not envious.</p>
<p>I may only talk about my children, but that is because that is the season I’m in. I’m currently in a home with two children under pre-school age. I will tell you anything you want to hear, but I don’t remember what it is like traveling alone with my husband or spontaneously going out for the night. I’ll get there one day, but know that I’m not talking to you about my children to make you feel bad for not having any or to pressure you to step into motherhood. I’m talking about them because that is my life.</p>
<p>Friend, you do you. But don’t think that because I have kids and you have none that means I don’t want you in my life. That is far from the truth. I NEED you in my life. I need you in my life because we have always been friends, and nothing will change that. I need you in my life because I don’t care what path you take in life as long as you’re healthy and happy.</p>
<p>I have mama friends. They fill my cup up in different ways than you do, but you do as well. Spending time with you is not work or an inconvenience; it’s a joy. My heart is also full when I see you love on my kids. I see you trying so hard to make them smile that I know that you are never going to stop being my friend because you love what is most important to me. I see you trying so hard to make my son laugh that I know I can never let you go.</p>
<p>Friend, I see that you find joy in life just like I do. I see that you are proud of your family. I also see that you are tired at times, and you may also occassionally have a glass of wine to wind down at night. I see that you have frustrations and stresses. We can still relate to each other. Next time you need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to laugh with, call on me. We aren’t that different after all.</p>
<p>Sincerely, <br />
Just a Friend</p>
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<li>Seeing old friends</li>
<li>Brunch</li>
<li>Baking my first cheesecake</li>
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<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/dear-childless-friend">Dear Childless Friend</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 20, 2017.</p>http://themotherblog.com/i-choose-peace
http://themotherblog.com/i-choose-peace2017-01-30T00:00:00-06:002017-01-30T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>I’ve been avoiding the blogging world for a few weeks because my heart is heavy. I think most people have heavy hearts these days. The world is a scary place, but the truth is that it’s always been a scary place. It dates back to the Garden of Eden when man fell and we were no longer given a perfect world to live in. Despite that fact, the truth remains that we are living in a time of uncertainty and unrest.</p>
<p>There’s this park I visit often with my kids. They just built a new playground there because it was in much need of a makeover. Until our big move almost two years ago, we have never lived this close to so many great playgrounds. But we especially love this playground. Last week we were there with a few kid friends and mom friends. All of us are fans of this park. All of us visit it frequently. We were the only moms there at the time. I’ve found that is usually the case at this particular county park. But isn’t that the best, a well-kept secret? Except it’s not. All four of us had similar experiences at this park that have caused us to swear off visiting alone. All four of us had been followed by weird cars there. It could have been nothing, but with the world the way it is these days (and all days past) you never know. But isn’t this sad? Isn’t it unfortunate when I don’t want to take my kids to their favorite park alone because I’m afraid?</p>
<p>Then I read John 14:27. It says: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” We find a peace with God that the world does not provide us.</p>
<p>This morning I went to the park without meeting with anyone. I was cautious, but I let my son play. Other moms showed up, and someone I kind of know happened to bring her kids to play. I was able to get to know her while we were there, and I would not have had that encounter had I been afraid. I would not have made a new friend today who has two kiddos around my son’s age.</p>
<p>So though this world is scary, and I will be the first to admit that I can be overly cautious especially with my children, I refuse to live in this fear. I refuse to let my fear drive me until my children miss out. Also what is scarier than a toddler who doesn’t get out of the house? I don’t know about your kids, but my toddler can be a real horror when he is stuck bored at home. Having kids weighs on you, so we could all use less fear and more peace.</p>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/i-choose-peace">I Choose Peace</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on January 30, 2017.</p>http://themotherblog.com/being-a-pessimist
http://themotherblog.com/being-a-pessimist2017-01-16T00:00:00-06:002017-01-16T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>So maybe you relate. Maybe you’re a glass half-empty kinda gal like me. Do you hate it? Ironically (because pessimists hate a lot of stuff) I don’t think I do hate it. Now hear me out before you start recommending oils or shakes that will “change my life.” I don’t need to rid my body of negative toxins in order to rejuvinate my mojo so that my glass will be half-full of positive vibes.</p>
<h3 id="im-pessimistic-and-i-like-it-that-way">I’m pessimistic and I like it that way.</h3>
<p>Here is why: it’s what I know and who I am. I’ve always been this way. I actually would go as far as to say that it is an inherited trait. Like I was born this way. I think it would be way out of the realm of possibility for me to change my ways. Sure, I could benefit from some more positive ways of thinking. But here’s the thing, my mind will always go <strong>there</strong>. If you’re a pessimist too, or you live with a pessimist, you know where <strong>there</strong> is. You know that place, and you visit it often. I can’t help it, and really I don’t know if I have the time or energy to try to help it.</p>
<p>This isn’t a cry for help. I am just pessimistic. Here’s the thing I try really hard not to be a Debbie Downer. I don’t tend to wallow in self-pity or complain all the time. I just always anticipate what the worst outcome could be. Once I get it out there to the universe, I feel better and I tend to move on. I’m sad when something is almost half-way over. I whole-heartedly, deep down in my soul, believe in the jinx phenomenon. I will race to the nearest piece of real wood to knock on it after saying something positive. You guys, I can’t talk about how great something is going without expecting the universe to laugh at me. You know what, I think that’s okay. I’m superstitious. I tiptoe around positive circumstances. But I keep on living.</p>
<p>Here’s the kicker though. I married my exact opposite. I live with an eternal optimist. We don’t understand each other in the least. He used to laugh when I would proclaim that he just jinxed something by saying how well it was going. He used to think it was cute and endearing. Now he just rolls his eyes. I get it. I really do. It must seem silly that thinking your words and thoughts can affect the outcome of something when you’re so unmoved by any outcome. I don’t understand how one sees it as just a coincidence. Do you know how happy I get when the worst doesn’t happen? I’ll be the first to tell you that 95% of the time the worst doesn’t happen. It’s not the worst way to live.</p>
<p>Here are some good things about me: I believe in signs and will try to follow them. I cherish the little things. I want to keep the good times rolling. It’s not all about cloudy days and a mopey demeanor. Although let’s be honest, we all have those days.</p>
<p>I’m not condoning a negative attitude or bringing others down, but I’m saying can’t we let our glasses be half empty if that’s how we want them? Why is that the worst thing in the world after all it is my glass? Your glass can be half-full and you won’t see me fighting you on that. I don’t think it matters as long as you like what you’re drinking. These days I prefer a half-empty glass of wine.</p>
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<p>This all brings me to my word for 2017:</p>
<h3 id="joy">Joy</h3>
<p>As a proclaimed pessimist, I sometimes miss the joy in situations. So for me, choosing joy is a constant battle. 2016 was a tough year for a lot of people, including me. I started the year with a stay in the hospital for an emergency surgery and ended the year with the birth of a baby which ended a very tough pregnancy. I spent most of 2016 feeling miserable and definitely not myself. So my focus of 2017 is just to find a place of joy again. I want to be able to experience joy no matter the circumstances that 2017 bring. But for me it must be a choice because I know it usually doesn’t just naturally happen like that.</p>
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<p>So if you’re an optimist, find a pessimist and hug them today. Let them know that it’s okay that they are prepared for the worst and that you still love them. If you’re a pessimist, hug yourself and remind yourself that you don’t need to change for anyone. But it is okay to choose joy.</p>
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<li>Going to church</li>
<li>Laundry - yes, laundry</li>
<li>10 hours of sleep in one night!</li>
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<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/being-a-pessimist">Being a Pessimist</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on January 16, 2017.</p>http://themotherblog.com/so-the-holidays-are-over
http://themotherblog.com/so-the-holidays-are-over2017-01-07T00:00:00-06:002017-01-07T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>Hello, so the first week of 2017 is over. That’s one week down, 51 to go. The holidays are over. And for the first time probably ever, I was so ready to say goodbye. My birthday is the week before Christmas, so I have more stake in the Christmas season than most. But this year, this year was so different. Both my husband and I talked about how much we loved Christmas this year. Our son is the perfect age where he starts to get the fun and tradition in it, but not old enough where he was caught up in the Hatchimals craze or had any expectations really.</p>
<p>Oh, but the exhaustion. The holiday drag is real. My husband had the whole week between Christmas and New Year off from work, so we pushed ourselves and that included pushing our newborn. Don’t tell him this, but I was ready for him to go back to work. Not because I didn’t like spending time with him- I do, oh, so much. My goodness though he wants to go, go, go while he’s on vacation. I want to stay, stay, stay. We are both homebodies, but he is less so because he spends five days a week at a desk. So I get it, but I don’t love it.</p>
<p>So he went back to work, as did the rest of the world. All went back to normal, and I exhaled for the first time in two weeks. Our mornings slowed down, but so did the afternoons. All time slowed down until 7:00pm. Then I pulled out the wine and chocolate, and all of a sudden the evening seems to double time.</p>
<p>So how do we do this? How do we get out of the holiday rut? This isn’t about resoltuions or goals. This is just about how we got back to our life once all the candy canes had been eaten and the wrapping paper had been put away (I see you 90% off sale at Target!).</p>
<ol>
<li>Say hello to routine. I love, love, LOVE routine. So the holidays are sort of like a slow motion train crash to me. No one else in my family seems to understand that I need to plan things way ahead and stick to it. But that’s for another blog post. Next week we are continuing our activities like our Bible studies and library storytimes. Boom! Structure. That means that by naptime, my toddler is ready to take a break from his fun. That means I get a break in the middle of the day. What mom doesn’t crave that?</li>
<li>I love routine, but I also love rest. This week we didn’t return to our activities because we all needed rest. We all needed slow mornings in our pajamas and afternoon walks around the neighborhood (which led to cedar fever). It’s the weekend now, and we’re much more well rested than we were at this time last week. When my husband asked “what do you want to do this weekend” I didn’t cringe like I would have last week. I didn’t want to cry from fatigue. But the answer is still “nothing.”</li>
<li>The most valuable thing I do to recover from the post holiday blues is to find something new to focus on. Shift my focus to something that makes me feel like a human and not a Christmas elf. This year my focus has shifted to reading and blogging. Miss the Christmas songs- sit down with a book. Tonight I was feeling extra blue, so here I am typing away on my computer.</li>
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<p>Are you still feeling blue? You can always decorate because there is always a holiday on the horizon; Valentine’s Day is only 37 days away, but right now it’s Girl Scout cookie season!</p>
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<li>Making a new dinner that wins</li>
<li>Wine and chocolate nights</li>
<li>An infant who sleeps eight hours straight</li>
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<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/so-the-holidays-are-over">So the Holidays are Over</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on January 07, 2017.</p>http://themotherblog.com/surviving-motherhood
http://themotherblog.com/surviving-motherhood2017-01-03T00:00:00-06:002017-01-03T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>I’ve learned some things after being a mother for over two years. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert because I did spend more time in college than I have raising a child. But there are some lessons you learn rather quickly, and sometimes not in the easiest of circumstances.</p>
<h3 id="there-is-no-room-for-judgement">There is no room for judgement.</h3>
<p>I used to be one of those women who constantly looked at moms in the grocery store or at restaurants and thought “when I’m a mom I won’t _____.” But oh how much humble pie I have chowed down on since becoming a mom.</p>
<h3 id="you-pick-your-battles">You pick your battles.</h3>
<p>And there is constantly a choice whether to fight a battle or not. Currently we are stuck in the “only eats hot dogs and chicken nuggets” stage. Why am I allowing my two-year-old to eat like a frat boy? Well because that’s a battle I’m not ready to fight every night. I once had a mom tell me that she is constantly fighting with her toddlers because she picks out their clothes everyday and likes them to coordnate. Girl, you do you, but I cannot even. Sometimes my son goes out into public in his pajamas and cowboy boots because hell hath no fury like a toddler scorned because we said “no” to his $15 cowboy boots from Walmart.</p>
<h3 id="most-days-are-survival-of-the-fittest">Most days are survival of the fittest.</h3>
<p>And yet somehow I’m still here. But really why don’t parenting classes prepare you for how to juggle a crying infant while putting a toddler into his rear-facing carseat. I was a teacher for goodness sakes. Shouldn’t raising two children be easier than teaching a classroom full of children?</p>
<h3 id="you-have-to-wake-up-every-morning-and-do-it-all-over-again">You have to wake up every morning and do it all over again.</h3>
<p>18 years. <br />
6570 days. <br />
157,680 hours.<br />
9.461e+6 minutes. <br />
I don’t even know what that number means other than a crap ton of minutes.
And that’s only if your children leave the house at 18 years old. But since my children were born in the fall, I’ll have them until they’re almost 19.</p>
<h3 id="wine-really-is-necessary">Wine really is necessary.</h3>
<p>I kid. I kid. But really I’m drinking some right now. Why? Because I walked around Target for two hours with two kids just to get some steps in only to find I left my Fitbit on the charger because I have mom-brain and can hardly remember what zipcode I reside in let alone to put on every part of my outfit. You’re welcome, World, that I wore pants today. Then we came home just in time for the fight that is naptime. Now it’s 6:15pm and I fed my toddler two hot dogs tonight because all he had for lunch was popcorn in the grocery cart at Target, and half it was use to make a Hansel and Gretel style trail through Target. That is why I drink wine.</p>
<h3 id="some-days-you-win-at-motherhood-and-sometimes-you-only-earn-a-paticipation-trophy-for-waking-up-at-all">Some days you win at motherhood and sometimes you only earn a paticipation trophy for waking up at all.</h3>
<p>Today was one of those days. Tomorrow might be too. But one of these days is going to be an almost perfect one. Then I’ll celebrate with wine.</p>
<h3 id="youll-experience-more-love-than-you-ever-thought-existed">You’ll experience more love than you ever thought existed.</h3>
<p>How can one minute your child be screaming at you because he’s mad about God knows what and the next minute he’s telling you how much he loves you through all his tears? Bedtime will be the most glorious time of the day. Yes, because it is the time you’ve been working so hard for all day, but also because that is when your children give you the most hugs and kisses. And every time your child learns something new, you’ll realize just how great this motherhood thing is.</p>
<h3 id="without-fail-most-nights-youll-crawl-into-bed-and-want-to-go-to-the-bedroom-next-door-and-wake-up-your-kids-because-you-miss-them-so-much">Without fail, most nights you’ll crawl into bed and want to go to the bedroom next door and wake up your kids because you miss them so much.</h3>
<p>But don’t worry, chances are they’ll wake up before the sun rises, screaming about how they want you to come take their favorite stuffed animal out of the bed because they can’t just freaking throw it out themselves. That may sound oddly specific, or maybe you just don’t have a two-year-old yet.</p>
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<figcaption>The day I discovered bribery via popcorn in Target was the day I earned a mom badge.</figcaption></figure>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/surviving-motherhood">Surviving Motherhood</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on January 03, 2017.</p>http://themotherblog.com/a-new-year-to-celebrate
http://themotherblog.com/a-new-year-to-celebrate2017-01-01T00:00:00-06:002017-01-01T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>2016 was not the best year, but it definitely had some good parts. I know we are all caught up in how bad the year seemed for the world as a whole. I wholeheartedly believe that it wasn’t any worse than any other years. The world is full of devestation and tragedy no matter what the calendar says. But I’m hoping that we can all bring a little joy into the world in 2017.</p>
<h1 id="2016">2016</h1>
<h3 id="january">January</h3>
<p>I had a <a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-mistakes">hospitalization and emergency surgery</a>. It was not a good month.</p>
<h3 id="february">February</h3>
<p>Pretty uneventful month although I did have some fun blogging times. I wrote a post about <a href="http://themotherblog.com/postpartum-awareness">postpartum awareness</a>, and I have since read over that post many times during the last two months just to hold myself accountable and my emotions in check.</p>
<h3 id="march">March</h3>
<p>March 16, 2016: I found out I was pregnant with surprise baby #2. We had planned for another baby soon, but I wanted it to happen in 2017. God always has other plans though. My <a href="http://themotherblog.com/bucket-list">bucket list</a> was put on hold another year, but I’m starting to feel like we might come out of the newborn haze sometime soonish.</p>
<h3 id="april-november">April-November</h3>
<p>I had a very uncomfortable pregnancy that sadly caused me to put my blog on the bottom of my priority list. But on November 12, 2016, we completed our family with the <a href="http://themotherblog.com/my-second-birth-story">birth of our beautiful, healthy daughter</a>.</p>
<h3 id="december">December</h3>
<p>What a wild month to <a href="http://themotherblog.com/plus-one">have a newborn</a>. Between the candy induced comas and the sleep-deprived Christmas parties I can’t say I remember much. I will say that it was our favorite holiday season yet, and I can only imagine how much better they will get.</p>
<h1 id="2017">2017</h1>
<p>My husband and I sat down and discussed our goals. I have three very simple goals that are focused on taking care of myself. I feel, esepcially in the past year, that I have really put myself down on the priority list. Everyone else has come first, and I need to know what it feels like to put the work into making myself happy and feel good.</p>
<ol>
<li>Get healthy in mind and body
<ul>
<li>Workout 3-4 times a week without a gym membership</li>
<li>Have dinner at home at least 6 times per week</li>
<li>Structured time away from the kids at least once a week. This can be just a trip to Starbucks by myself or with a friend or a date night out. We haven’t been out without the kids since Little Lady was born almost two months ago, and we are both feeling the neglect.</li>
<li>Take up a hobby that I enjoy and makes me feel proud. Last year I took up Bible journaling, and loved all that it did for me, but I let my lack of space become my excuse to quit.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Read 28 books
<ul>
<li>I had a goal to read 27 books in 2016 because it was my 27th year. I only completed 25 books, but I was not consistent with my reading. This year I know I can do it.</li>
<li>I will chronicle the reading goal on my <a href="https://www.instagram.com/themotherblog/">Instagram</a> using the hashtag #28books28thyear</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Save money
<ul>
<li>We have some debt I would like to pay off, but we are fortunate not to be swimming in it. But it wasn’t a priority last year with a new baby coming. This year I would like to say goodbye to most of the debt, if not all of it.</li>
<li>I’m starting with a no-spend month of January. I spent all of my Christmas money already on a new, non-pregnancy wardrobe since I spent most of last year in maternity clothes. So January is a time for saving after a couple months of spending.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ol>
<p>I really hope you find as much hope in the new year. Let me know what your goals for 2017 are and how you plan to accomplish them.</p>
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<li>Sparkling cider at midnight</li>
<li>Shopping adventures with my family</li>
<li>Lazy TV marathons</li>
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<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/a-new-year-to-celebrate">A New Year to Celebrate</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on January 01, 2017.</p>http://themotherblog.com/plus-one
http://themotherblog.com/plus-one2016-12-14T00:00:00-06:002016-12-14T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>So let me introduce you to my first kid. We will call him E. He’s two-years-old or 28 months if you’re into that. E is pretty much the greatest kid. He is super sensitive and such a people lover. Somehow two very introverted people spawned one of the most social kids I’ve ever met, but in turn he is super aware of others’ feelings. He pushes me to love people more and worry less about what others think of me.</p>
<p>So we had another baby recently if you didn’t notice. We added our daughter, S, in November. I’m going to tell you the story of adding a second child from the point of view of an only child. Because that’s me, an only child.</p>
<p>When I found out I was pregnant in March, my first and only thoughts were about my son. How would he adjust? Won’t I miss our one-on-one time? Is he going to hate us for doing this? Is he going to hate his new sibling? As my due date approached, I became more anxious.</p>
<p>Think about this: I am an only child. I have no idea what he is going to feel being a brother. I have no idea what the adjustment looks or feels like. I don’t know what it feels like to share my toys or my room or my parents. My husband is the oldest of five, so he has done this a time or two. We could not understand each other; he did not understand why I was so anxious. I did not understand why he was so cool with this all.</p>
<p>My husband and I spent the entire pregnancy talking to E about the impending doom or whatever you want to call it. We talked about his baby sister. He probably hated it all because we just talked, talked, talked, and there was no baby. I read him books about the transition to big brother. I let him kiss my tummy and go to doctor appointments with me. The hardest part for me was spending the last few days with him. I don’t take change well, so in my mind I make a huge deal out of the final time something happens. So our final day just the two of us was super emotional for me. We did his favorite things, went to the zoo and rode the train, and I was fighting back the tears the entire time. But that day we had together will always be one of my favorites even though I had heartburn from Hades and swollen everything.</p>
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<p>I’m a planner, so I planned out their first meeting. I made E a big brother care package that S would “give” to him when he came to meet her in the hospital. It was a backpack with various fun things to take to Nana’s house. I made it a point not to be holding her when E. came into my hospital room for the first time. I wanted him to see me first and not feel the jealousy from the beginning. S was in her hospital bed, so our attention was on E. when he walked in. This was a small thing we did, but I think it made such a difference. We were lucky. E loved her from the beginning.</p>
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<img src="http://i.imgur.com/NtpQaBx.jpg" />
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<p>Our hospital room was small, but he came to visit both days I was in the hospital. We were very in tune with his mood, and when he started to get bored and crazy my parents took him on a short walk. Then he came back in to spend more time bonding with the three of us. Yes, E is only two, but we talk to him like he is much older. We explain EVERYTHING to him. Does he get it all? Probably not, but what he does comprehend he remembers. Moms, if I could give you any advice it’s that you should talk to your kids from the beginning of their lives. Be honest with them and describe, describe, describe. I’m surprised daily about E’s level of comprehension and memory.</p>
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<a href="http://i.imgur.com/OfGKlt5.jpg"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/63XEtIE.jpg" /></a>
<a href="http://i.imgur.com/OfGKlt5.jpg"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/rQQVO3v.jpg" /></a>
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<p>We just passed the one month mark. S has been in our family for an entire month. Whaaaa?</p>
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<img src="http://i.imgur.com/zv27OoS.jpg" />
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<p>And the transition from one to two has been much harder on me than it has been on E The number one question people ask is how E is handling the change. The answer is that he loves his sister. He is gentle and loving. E loves to kiss her head. He has been patient with me, but that’s not to say he isn’t pushing all the boundaries. I’m not sure if it is just his age or his way of adjusting. But he really thinks he can get away with more than before S was born. It is tough, but we don’t allow his silly business. We have stayed on his sleep schedule, and by the grace of God, we still get a normal nap and the same bedtime.</p>
<p>My son loves to help in any way he can. If I make a big deal that I need his help, he’s there in a flash with his sweet little voice asking “what, Mama?” When we are changing her diaper, E is there to throw the dirty diaper away. One of the first things I taught E was how to gently put her pacifier back into S’s mouth. Hearing him tell me that “S lost her pacifier” is the cutest thing. E thrives when he has a purpose, so I use that to my advantage.</p>
<p>If I you’re still reading this, I can sum it up this way:</p>
<ol>
<li>Explain what to expect to your child.</li>
<li>Keep the important parts of your child’s routine (i.e. sleep).</li>
<li>Be patient with your child.</li>
<li>Do not let your child get away with things he/she wouldn’t have gotten away with before.</li>
<li>Ask for forgiveness when you just can’t get it together.</li>
<li>Tend to your older child first when possible because he/she will have memory of this time.</li>
<li>Encourage your child to help in any way he/she can.</li>
</ol>
<p>Adding another child isn’t the nightmare I spent many months imagining. My first child is still the same happy and loving boy he was before. I don’t anticipate any long-term damages from bringing home his sister. I can, however, imagine the incredible relationship they are going to have for a lifetime, and for that I am grateful. But I’m not looking forward to the bickering and the boy and girl joint bathroom situation.</p>
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<ul>
<li>Grandparents</li>
<li>Christmas parties</li>
<li>Tamales</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/plus-one">Plus One</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on December 14, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/babies-eat-so-much
http://themotherblog.com/babies-eat-so-much2016-12-07T00:00:00-06:002016-12-07T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>I wrote about my feeding journey with my son in <a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-mistakes">this post</a> from my <a href="http://themotherblog.com/tags/">#MotherhoodMonday</a> series. To sum it up we did not have a good breastfeeding journey, and as heartbraking as that was I learned a lot about a lot during that time. I learned what postpartum anxiety looks like. I learned the importance of feeding your baby, whether that is via breast or bottle. I learned to ignore what I read on the internet or other moms told me and do what works for my baby and me. And I have to say I was much happier for it.</p>
<p>My daughter has been so different in a lot of ways though - gotta love her. Perhaps the biggest difference is our feeding journey. Whereas my son never really latched on and breastfed, she’s a dream when it comes to this. I have breastfed her since day one, and it’s been pretty much a breeze ever since. I am so grateful for this after what emotional toll my son had on me when he wouldn’t breastfeed. But that being said, I have no expectations when it comes to breastfeeding this time around. When it ends, I’m ready to make the transition to formula without feeling any guilt. I’m ready to release all the pressure from myself and just go with the flow. Besides I have a lifetime of nourishing my child in other ways.</p>
<p>I’ve been asked many times as a blogger, mom, and friend what one piece of advice I have for new moms or first-time expectant mothers. Well listen up because my answer will always be the same:</p>
<p><strong>Don’t allow guilt to raise your children.</strong></p>
<p>Seriously there is no room for mom guilt because we are still human after all. Despite what society tries to tell us, giving birth does not make you superhuman. If you’re struggling to breastfeed your child, make a change. It doesn’t even matter what that change is; use a nipple shield, pump more, switch to formula, etc. Just don’t remain planted in the stress of something that doesn’t work. If I’ve learned anything from parenting it is how trial and error is the road that leads to success.</p>
<p>The beauty of this is that it doesn’t just relate to feeding your baby. It relates to pretty much every aspect of raising kids. I recently participated in a parenting class in my community because I was terrified of the transition from one child to two children. The class was so helpful to my parenting journey, but I learned that discipline is a hodgepodge of tricks. I still use some of the tools I gained from that class, but some tricks I tossed out because it didn’t work for me or my child. I’m still learning everyday how to parent my children, and my learning will continue for a lifetime.</p>
<p>I encourage you to read the post linked above about my feeding journey especially if you’re in the midst of a feeding struggle. I also recommend a couple of resources in feeding:</p>
<p><a href="https://fedisbest.org/">Fed is Best Foundation</a><br />
<a href="https://www.honest.com/feeding">The Honest Company</a></p>
<hr />
<p>Instead of my favorites today, I want to say that my blog turns 1 year old today! I haven’t displayed the best consistency in the past year, nonetheless it was a whole ago that I began this passion project of speading judgement-free love to all moms. Thank you to all my faithful readers and followers because without you I would be reaching no one. Here is to another year and maybe with more consistency. ;)
Let me know in the comments what you want to see from The Mom Who Blogs over the next year.</p>
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<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/babies-eat-so-much">Babies Eat So Much</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on December 07, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/my-second-birth-story
http://themotherblog.com/my-second-birth-story2016-12-03T00:00:00-06:002016-12-03T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/Pd9xuyP.png" />
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<p>If you didn’t notice, because let’s be honest my online presence isn’t great, I haven’t been around a lot (read: at all) in the past eight months or so. I have a reason, so bear with me. I was making a second baby. As it was with the first, my pregnancy was tough, tougher than the first actually. I spent the first half being sick and the second half with terrible indigestion (she was born bald by the way).</p>
<p>But I’m here to give mamas hope. I’m going to tell my daughter’s birth story because I’ve told a bit to friends of mine. They all say the same thing: “there is hope.” This will make more sense with some background on my first birthing experience. So without going into too much detail, my first birth was traumatic and nothing like I had hoped for. I’m aware this happens to a lot of women, but I am not good with the unexpected. I don’t adjust well. With my son my epidural, which took a lot of convincing for me to even get, didn’t work. It didn’t even kinda work. I’ve been asked, “well why didn’t you try to get a new one placed?” My nurses, doctor, and anesthesiologist didn’t even mention that as a possibility. It was very much an attitude of “well that sucks for you,” and I thought it was just something I would have to deal with. So I felt everything, and when you finally make the decision not to feel everything it’s shocking when that doesn’t go as planned.</p>
<p>Because I thought I was just one of the unlucky few who doesn’t react to epidurals I didn’t have much hope for it working this time around either. I decided to try it anyways. I mean the worse that would happen is that it wouldn’t work again. But this time I had a supportive team of medical personnel who actually did have to adjust my epidural but did so without having to be asked twice. So this time I knew what it was like to have relief, and it was the most glorious experience.</p>
<p>I had some minor complications towards the end of my pregnancy, so my doctor didn’t want me to go to my due date. At that point, I was so ready to not be pregnant that I respected that. So at 39+2 days pregnant, we arrived at the hospital to be induced. I was extremely nervous as all expectant mothers are, but my attitude was positive. I knew there was a great possibility that this would be a better birthing experience than the first. I started Pitocin around 8:30am. I got an epidural pretty much right away because I knew once my water broke things would progress quickly, and I would not chance not giving the epidural enough time to work. After about an hour with the epidural, my right side started feeling everything. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me a stronger dose and turned me on my right side. Everything felt so much better after this, and even though they say the epidural doesn’t make you feel high I definitely felt so content, peaceful, and perfect at this point.</p>
<p>The doctor came in around 11:00am and broke my water. My son was born less than an hour after my water broke naturally, so we all knew it would come quickly after waters broke. A random nurse filling in for my nurse while she was on lunch came in around 12:15 because my baby’s heart rate was dipping all over the place. She checked me and I was only at 7cm after being at 5cm two hours earlier. She called my normal nurse to ask what to do. At this point, my baby-daddy thought it would be a great time to find a snack machine because I was only 7cm dilated at this point. As he left, my nurse came rushing in. I told her I was feeling a bit of pressure, and she told the other nurse she would check me. She had a feeling the baby’s heart rate was fine, but that she was just too low to pick it up accurately. She told the other nurse how quickly I progressed after my water broke the first birth. Sure enough, just three minutes after being checked at 7cm, I was fully dilated. I was freaking out for someone to find my husband because my phone wouldn’t work in the hospital and I couldn’t make a long distance call from the hospital phone. Someone found him down the hall at the snack machine, and yes he managed to get a snack so don’t worry about him starving.</p>
<p>I was 10 cm dilated and feeling nothing but a little loopy and a pinch of pressure with every contraction. But I was kindly informed that my doctor just went in next door to deliver another baby and I WAS NEXT IN LINE. Now who tells a woman fully dilated this and lives to talk about it? If I had not had a working epidural this would not have worked out so well for anyone in the room. My husband says we only waited for ten minutes for the doctor to come in the room. But let it be written and truth be told it was at least twice that long. I didn’t even know it was possible to be 10cm dilated and not pushing. But here I was. When my doctor finally arrived he told the nurse to have me do a “practice push” while he scrubbed in. I didn’t even know this was a thing either. But when you’re on drugs and ready to get a baby out, you do as you’re told. Sure enough it only took that push and one more before my baby girl was in my arms at 12:54pm, after just 4.5 hours of labor. It was harder for me to deliver my placenta than it was to deliver her.</p>
<p>It is possible to have an absolute dream worthy birthing experience after a traumatic one. This just showed me how different every birth can be, and also how much of a difference your support system makes. I also want to put out there that not all inductions are nightmares, and I don’t regret my induction at all.</p>
<p>It has been three weeks since my little lady was born. I feel as if I have healed almost completely, and for that I am grateful. My emotions ran high when my husband went back to work a week ago, so I remembered this blog baby I created a year ago. I decided that I needed to revive it in order to feel like I have a purpose besides nursing a baby and stopping my two-year-old from poking her eyes out or dropping his heavy toys on her head. All joking aside, he is adjusting pretty well. I plan on writing more about that transition soon. Here’s a hint: there have been many tears and many toys thrown about, but we’re surviving.</p>
<p>I hope your 2016 has been as blessed as mine.</p>
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<img src="/images/weekday_fav.png" />
</div>
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<ul>
<li>Holiday Flat White from Starbucks</li>
<li>Dinners brought over by good friends</li>
<li>Surviving my first solo week with two kids</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/my-second-birth-story">My Second Birth Story</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on December 03, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-messes
http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-messes2016-03-21T00:00:00-05:002016-03-21T00:00:00-05:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>My late-night-half-awake thoughts usually lead me to “what did I forget to do today?” It’s usually one of three things:</p>
<ol>
<li>I forgot to do some part of the laundry - switch it to the dryer, take it out of the dryer before it becomes embarrassingly wrinkled, or my favorite: start it altogether.</li>
<li>I forgot to start the dishwasher, so we will play Tetris with our dishes and rinse off knives for another day.</li>
<li>I forgot to clean up the floor downstairs so that my favorite family member (don’t tell my human family members), our robot vacuum, Dobby can clean at 4:00am, usually waking me up from a deep slumber. He’s so good but he’s so bad.</li>
</ol>
<p>Who else misses the days when we could just say goodnight to the Orlando Bloom poster on our ceiling and roll over, falling asleep immediately? I often have moments of “when did I become an adult” and “why am I constantly cleaning up after myself and everyone else.” In reality I have been lucky because I haven’t had any major vomit explosions all over my car (although the laws of the universe now dictate that it will happen tomorrow). My child hasn’t gone through the trashcan while I have my back turned, although he did pick up dog poop while I had my back turned. So basically you should never turn your back on children. But somehow, my life is still full of messes. Hello, I’m a giant mess myself. Today I basically kicked my child into a door and gave him his first head knot. Before you call the authorities, it was all an accident and basically his fault because he was diving for the food I was putting back into the pantry. Almost knocking your child out is one sure way to make him forget about the food he was going after and guarentee him two extra cookies for dessert (#momguilt).</p>
<p>I watch Grey’s Anatomy religiously, but I still get queasy at some parts even though it is Hollywood after all. But somehow I am able to clean crap from my child’s tush, clothes, and anything else he leaked onto witout batting an eyelid. I open his diaper and can actually recall exactly what it was that he ate the night before; somehow that ability doesn’t bother me. It shouldn’t bother any moms reading this because we’ve all been there. If you’re reading this and feeling like it’s seriously TMI than you obviously don’t have kids and why are you even here?</p>
<p>I used to really care about clutter. I used to organize everything just so. Now I’m writing this from a bed that I haven’t made since the last time I changed the sheets. Have you played that game where you name 5 things within 5 feet of where you are sitting? For me, 3 of those things are toys (in my own bedroom, mind you) and the other 2 things are trash. This is life with a toddler. If he doesn’t miss those toys that have taken refuge in my room, they all allowed right of asylum until the tiny dictator feels otherwise because let’s be honest I don’t really rule any part of my house anymore.</p>
<p>Here’s the point that I was trying to make 500 words ago: motherhood is messy. For obvious reasons. But would any of us say that we would trade the messes for anything different than what we have now? I know I wouldn’t. I would add to the mess actually. I would add to it all. I would double the laundry and dishes. I would give up Dobby if I had to. No amount of Orlando Bloom posters and worry-free sleep would be worth what I have now. So next time your kids are making messes, join them. Because messes can always be cleaned. Floors can always be vacuumed. Laundry can always be rewashed or redried or ironed if you’re feeling really crazy. But your kids won’t be little, making messes forever. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go clean up my tears after realizing that my child is going to grow up and move out of my house.</p>
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<p><a href="http://www.mrsmombie.com/">Alexis</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.fromengineertosahm.com">Christy</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.natashabyrd.com/blog">Natasha</a><br />
<a href="http://www.simplythewildside.net/#!blog/c7age">Amber Joy</a></p>
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<ul>
<li>Naps</li>
<li>Brunch</li>
<li>Coffee</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-messes">Motherhood Messes</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on March 21, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-motivations
http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-motivations2016-03-14T00:00:00-05:002016-03-14T00:00:00-05:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>I have <a href="http://themotherblog.com/find-your-tribe">written on this topic</a> before, but it was more of an informative approach and less of a real and personal approach. So today I am going to be real with you.</p>
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<p>My motherhood motivation involves building relationships and friendships. Here’s a shocking revelation I had about myself after I graduated high school: I’m an introvert. It’s no big deal, great actually. I couldn’t imagine being any other way. I like solitude. I enjoy the quiet. I love my home. But as any healthy and functioning human being, I must interact with other humans. It is fine. I can do it with minimum side effects. Through college and even up until I had a child, I didn’t have to worry about making a whole lot of friends because we were still around people we had known forever. It became easy to maintain.</p>
<p>Then friendships started to fall away. Then we moved away. We thought we would live in the same area we both grew up in, but my husband got a job, and God had very different plans. We picked up our lives all the way from childhood and moved to a new, very big city. All of a sudden I had to make friends. I mean I guess technically I do what I want, so I didn’t HAVE to make friends. I could be a hermit and survive okay without building any new relationships.</p>
<p>I looked at my son, and realized that he needed friends. He needed me to have friends myself because he could not give me what adult friendships could. I decided that being an introvert is great and all, but it’s not an excuse to retreat into what is comfortable and never reach outside those bounds. I did what I had never done: I started seeking out friends. At an alarming pace, may I add. I found a women’s bible study through our church. We found a young family homegroup through our church. I made a best friend through a hiking group which led me to join MOPS. I have been very intentional about accepting invitations whenever it is possible. It worked because I now how a great core of fellow mama friends who I love dearly. I trust that they will not abandon me like “friends” have in the past. I credit this to my son. Besides being so cute that people want to talk to me, he was my motivation behind seeking friendships in the first place.</p>
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<p><a href="http://www.mrsmombie.com/">Alexis</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.moderatemomma.com/">Lindsey</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.newandnaturalmom.com/">Farrah</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.stellarmama.com/">Tiffany</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.natashabyrd.com/blog">Natasha</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.alwayskatie.com/">Katie</a> <br />
<a href="http://frugalsouthernliving.com/">Heather</a></p>
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<ul>
<li>Sushi with a friend</li>
<li>Day date with my husband</li>
<li>A husband who loves grocery shopping</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-motivations">Motherhood Motivations</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on March 14, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/bucket-list
http://themotherblog.com/bucket-list2016-03-09T00:00:00-06:002016-03-09T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>I was at the young age of 24 when we had our first baby. He was a very welcome surprise, but in the months leading up to his birth I had a lot of “I’m never going to get to *insert bucket list item here”
moments. Admittedly I still have these moments, sometimes more than I’m proud of. At times I wallow in my self-pity independently; other times I try to pull my husband into the pity party. And I thought why do I have to trash my pre-baby bucket list?</p>
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<img src="http://i.imgur.com/nJWfsAF.jpg" />
</figure>
<ul>
<li>
<p>Travel out of the United States. Yes, I’m a few years from 30, and I have never even had a passport. It’s not unheard of and even the norm for some to take their young children on international travels. I would love to raise world travelers.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>See both the Pacific coast and Atlantic coast of the United States. Oh, how I would love to take an RV and drive from one coast to the other. Traveling family band? Hey, it’s been done!</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Own a business, preferably a coffee shop. Because why not? I love coffee, and I know how to make it and pair it. I also have an extensive collection of mugs, so that is taken care of.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Build a house. We have what I consider our dream house to raise kids in, but I wouldn’t mind owning some land and building either a vacation house or our empty-nest bungalow.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><del>Start a blog.</del></p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>My bucket list is pretty short, but those things are serious enough that I could happily spend my life trying to accomplish them. My point is that you don’t have to fret about how children will end your fun and carefree years. Well are we really ever carefree?</p>
<p>Share your post-baby bucket list with me. We all have dreams. Think about how you can incorporate your children into those aspirations.</p>
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<div class="col-md-4">
<img src="/images/weekend_fav.png" />
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<div class="col-md-8">
<ul>
<li>Visiting old friends.</li>
<li>Roadtrips with a silent toddler...wha?!?</li>
<li>Yoga with the husband.</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/bucket-list">Post-Baby Bucket List</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on March 09, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-monday-spotlight
http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-monday-spotlight2016-02-26T00:00:00-06:002016-02-26T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>I have been hosting a weekly series on the topic of motherhood called <a href="http://themotherblog.com/tags/#motherhoodmonday">#MotherhoodMonday</a>. There is a group of moms who participate weekly, and now that we are over halfway through the 12 weeks series, I thought I would finally introduce you to them all. This group of mamas has been wonderfully supportive towards me and each other, and I feel very grateful to have met them. So enjoy each little snippet of their lives, and then go see what I mean about each of them being wonderful.</p>
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<p>Lisa W. is a stay-at-home mom who started a blog after six months of working the SAHM grind after leaving the profession of special education. She felt she needed to find herself amid all of the dirty diapers, laundry, and toddler tantrums. So she went back to what used to bring her so much joy and pride: writing. She survives solely on coffee and chocolate, living nap time to nap time. But she wouldn’t trade it for the world or a steady paycheck. The Mother Blog is her second baby that was conceived on the dream of building an online community of mothers empowering mothers.</p>
<p><a href="www.themotherblog.com">Blog</a> |
<a href="www.instagram.com/themotherblog">Instagram</a> |
<a href="www.twitter.com/themotherblog">Twitter</a> |
<a href="www.facebook.com/themotherblog">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Lindsey is a work-at-home mom running her virtual assistant and event consultancy business <a href="www.logisticsbylindsey.com">Logistics by Lindsey</a>. When she’s not working or chasing a very active toddler, she writes about motherhood, marriage, and life at Moderate Momma. Moderate Momma was born out of frustration in Lindsey’s early days of motherhood. She quickly found that she didn’t fit into any one particular parenting style and was exhausted by online bickering that was full of absolutes and controversy. She wanted to create a space where moms can meet in the middle, remove “always “never” and “should” from their vocabularies, and support one another.</p>
<p><a href="www.ModerateMomma.com">Blog</a> |
<a href="www.instagram.com/moderatemomma">Instagram</a> |
<a href="www.twitter.com/moderatemomma">Twitter</a> |
<a href="www.facebook.com/moderatemomma">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Lisa B. is a lifestyle blogger at ‘Naptime Chai’, where she writes about embracing life and its simple moments from one naptime to the next! She loves writing about a little bit of everything, but the topics closest to her heart are marriage, pregnancy, and motherhood. Through her writing, she hopes to encourage other women and mothers in whatever stage of life they’re in. She resides in the PNW with her laid-back husband, a very-fast-moving toddler, a high-strung dog, and the soon-to-be newest member of the family who is due to arrive in April!</p>
<p><a href="http://thebenroecks.com">Blog</a> |
<a href="http://instagram.com/lisabenroeck">Instagram</a> |
<a href="http://twitter.com/lisabenroeck">Twitter</a> |
<a href="http://facebook.com/naptimechai">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Amber Joy is the wife to a Park Ranger and mother of twowildling boys. Three short years ago they were busy in the Midwest chasing thedollar and trying to live the American Dream. Come to find out the American Dream is what you make it. So they ditched their city life and are now livingin the Pacific Northwest inside of a State Park living THEIR American Dream. Amber is big on little living, Simple living that is. She loves inspiring others to chase their dreams, and of course shares the messy life of raising boys. You can read more about their life on her website, or you can <a href="https://www.createspace.com/5817216">purchase her book</a>. Amber is always planning and plotting so be on the look out for moreto come.</p>
<p><a href="www.simplythewildside.net">Blog</a> |
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/simplythewildside/">Instagram</a> |
<a href="https://twitter.com/Simplywildside">Twitter</a> |
<a href="www.facebook.com/AJoyASimpleJoy">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Natasha is a wife, mom and blogger living (and loving!) life on a little island in the Pacific. She started her blog as a way to keep memories for her family but it has since evolved into a space where she shares her thoughts on life, love, marriage and parenting. Before having kids, she enjoyed worked for a major entertainment company but is absolutely in love with her new role as a stay at home mom. In her spare time (ha) she likes to read, cook, and spend time at the beach with a good book.</p>
<p><a href="www.natashabyrd.com/blog">Blog</a> |
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebyrdwoman/">Instagram</a> |
<a href="https://twitter.com/byrdnatasha">Twitter</a> |
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/byrdblog">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Mrs. Mombie aka Alexis is the perpetually tired mama to Rory (3) and Rowan (1.5). You know, mom + zombie cause negative sleep. She is loud, opinionated, and does what she wants, including but not limited to social working, blogging, and hopefully one day doula-ing. She survives on all the coffee, wine, sarcasm, and occasional curse word. Her 6’7” red bearded Irishman comes from a big family and wants her to give birth to at least six tiny humans. She tells him every day he’s coo coo for cocoa puffs. She’s too tired for that business and will never be able to do enough kegels to repair the damage her first two non-sleepers caused. Her mombie fueled ramblings are never sugar coated, mostly hilarious, and sometimes serious business.</p>
<p><a href="http://mrsmombie.com/">Blog</a> |
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/mrs.mombie/">Instagram</a></p>
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<p>Katie is the slightly overwhelmed and completely smitten momma of tiny twins, after a 5-year struggle with infertility, countless heartbroken prayers, and 2 rounds of IVF. She is married to a wonderful, handsome fella who keeps her grounded and laughing. She holds an M.Ed and state licensure in school counseling (any other INFJs in the house!?), but her background also includes education in sociology, criminology, and law enforcement, giving her a unique view on society and motivations. Her blog – Always, Katie – is a lifestyle blog including DIY, recipes, and reflections on infertility, pregnancy, parenthood, faith, mental health, and community. She believes that Diet Coke is better than coffee, that everybody should work as a server (or in retail) at least once in their life, and that Han shot first.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.alwayskatie.com">Blog</a> |
<a href="http://www.instagram.com/always_katie">Instagram</a> |
<a href="http://www.twitter.com/alwzkt">Twitter</a> |
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/alwayskatie">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Amanda is a Catholic wife and mom who blogs over at Sweet Right Here. The name of her blog is to remind her not to worry about future, not to fret about the past and remember that it’s sweet right here in this moment. She writes on the topics of motherhood, faith, and occasionally posts her craft projects! Her husband is about to graduate with his PhD and is currently interviewing for job positions…where will they end up? The Ohio Valley? The West Coast? The Desert?! She doesn’t know, but is excited to see where this journey will take them and to watch her family grow!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.sweetrighthere.com/">Blog</a> |
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/mandarozsa/">Instagram</a> |
<a href="https://twitter.com/mandarozsa">Twitter</a> |
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/SweetRightHere/">Facebook</a></p>
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<p>Tiffany is a lifestyle blogger at ‘Stellar Mama’ from California. She is a working mama of a toddler, married and is a full-time student as well. She also runs a blog and is a virtual assistant handling social media for various companies. Tiffany always knew she wanted to be a mom and once her daughter Stella arrived, she finally felt complete. Her blog, Stellar Mama, covers her journey through Motherhood. Family, Football and Food are a few of her favorite things. You will find those and much more on her site. She also is owner of <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/StellarLittleShop">Stellar Little Shop</a>. The shop sells handmade hair accessories for mama and little.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.stellarmama.com">Blog</a> |
<a href="http://instagram.com/xostellarmama">Instagram</a> |
<a href="http://www.twitter.com/xostellarmama">Twitter</a> |
<a href="http://facebook.com/xostellarmama">Facebook</a></p>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-monday-spotlight">Motherhood Monday Spotlight</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 26, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/postpartum-awareness
http://themotherblog.com/postpartum-awareness2016-02-19T00:00:00-06:002016-02-19T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p><em>This post first appeared as a guest post on <a href="http://www.themotherhoodjourney.com/">The Motherhood Journey blog</a> written by me. After you read this post, do me a favor and check out Ashley’s blog. She writes about the transition into motherhood as a pospartum doula, so she is very supportive and uplifting.</em></p>
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<p>So you just birthed a baby out of your own body. First of all, you’re a superhero! Second of all, forgive your body for what it is about to go through for the next couple of months. You will soon experience feelings and emotions you’ve never felt before. Why is this? The simple answer is hormones. Your body produces such an abundance of estrogen and progesterone during pregnancy that the sudden decrease after giving birth sends you into an extreme whirlwind of emotions and reactions. If you think about it, you’re also experiencing a drastic decrease in sleep and a life changing shift in routine. That alone is enough to place stress on your body, but add changing hormones and it’s a miracle new mothers survive at all. So what should you expect? Hopefully you are able to give birth and adjust to this new life without any major hiccups. Unfortunately statistics say that around 90% of mothers will experience baby blues or postpartum depression or anxiety.</p>
<h2 id="baby-blues">Baby Blues</h2>
<p>Baby blues is defined as the early onset symptoms of postpartum depression. The difference between the two is that baby blues will subside within a few weeks. Symptoms are less severe with baby blues. Once your hormones level out, your emotional health will go back to normal, or as normal as can be with a new child in the mix. You can speed the process along by getting more sleep (yeah right!), eating healthy and whole foods, and keeping your life as simple as possible.
Tip: Take the first couple of weeks to focus on adjusting to your new addition. Tell your friends and family that you would appreciate their presence in meeting your newest family member, but not until he/she is at least two weeks old in order to easily adjust to your new lives. If they feel like they must help in some way, don’t be afraid to ask them to deliver a healthy dish on your porch and invite them to come over as soon as you feel comfortable.</p>
<h2 id="postpartum-depression">Postpartum Depression</h2>
<p>Disclaimer: If you ever feel the urge to hurt yourself or your baby in the months after giving birth, please seek professional help right away. Remove yourself from your baby and call your healthcare provider at that moment.
Postpartum depression has similar symptoms of baby blues, but these symptoms are amped up to an extreme and last longer. This affects around 10% of women after giving birth, so you are not alone! If you think about all the women who give birth daily you realize just how staggering this number is. There is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about because this is out of your control. But finding help to combat PPD is not out of your control. I did not suffer from postpartum depression, but I had a close friend who did. We gave birth to our first children, both sons, a day apart. She is expecting her second son this spring. For this article, I decided that in order to give an accurate depiction of postpartum depression I would interview her on her own personal experience.</p>
<p><strong>When did you know you had postpartum depression and not just baby blues?</strong> <br />
Probably 5-6 months pp. I’m still not 100% sure if what I was going through was strictly from postpartum or a combination of being isolated in a new city where we had no family and friends. Probably a good mix of the two along with agonizing over every little detail of mothering.</p>
<p><strong>What specific feelings/reactions did you struggle with the most when you had PPD?</strong> <br />
I specifically had resentful feelings and feelings of physical violation at my worst times. I still struggle with being touched. Breastfeeding was something very complicated for me as time went on and I felt like I was stuck doing it. I still support it and believe it’s the healthiest option but it may not always be worth sacrificing the way you feel about your own body and your ability to feel well while going through the very tough learning curve of being a new mom. I also had very sudden moments of anger and crying that never got dangerous or out of control but were enough to scare me and make me accept that I was not in a good way.</p>
<p><strong>What was your defining moment/situation that caused you to get help?</strong><br />
I don’t think I really had a defining moment, it was more of a buildup. I just remember sitting on the steps of my old duplex and telling my husband I didn’t know how to fix what I was feeling and I wanted to try going to a counselor.</p>
<p><strong>How did you find help?</strong><br />
I went to the local Family Counseling Center and met with an OB to recommend a therapist.</p>
<p><strong>What are you most afraid of with having another child?</strong><br />
I’m mostly concerned with adjusting back to having much less time to “fill my own cup” and having time to recharge mentally through the day. And having enough help on a daily basis.</p>
<p><strong>What are you doing to safeguard against future PPD?</strong><br />
I don’t think we can necessarily safeguard against having postpartum struggles because there are just so many variables. How the pregnancy and delivery turn out, the living situation, the financial situation…I currently feel confident about everything surrounding me and I feel prepared as best I can to manage the big change.</p>
<p><strong>Do you have any advice for new mothers?</strong><br />
The advice I would give is to remember that everything is a phase. Newborn phase can be isolating, toddler phase can be chaotic. Do your best to keep in mind that this is a sliver of the big picture and that you’ll work through everything and learn as you go. You’ll get nothing but stronger, more mature and more experienced. My confidence in myself has gone up exponentially since having my son, in spite of some of my personal issues I had to navigate.</p>
<h2 id="postpartum-anxiety">Postpartum Anxiety</h2>
<p>We don’t talk about postpartum anxiety a lot because people assume it is the same as PPD, but the truth is that it is not. I did not have symptoms of depression after my son was born, but my anxiety was magnified. I wrote a post specifically highlighting <a href="www.themotherblog.com/motherhood-mistakes">my postpartum experience with anxiety</a>. Long story short is that until I received professional help, I was not able to bond with my son at all. I had materialized him into this milk guzzling, emotion draining, sleep killing machine. Postpartum anxiety, like any anxiety disorder, can disrupt your daily life so much that you cannot function day-to-day. This can become dangerous to relationships, your own well-being, and the emotional growth of your new baby. If you have extreme worries about your baby, your life after your new baby, or your partner’s adjustment to your new baby, or racing thoughts that you cannot slow down you might be suffering for postpartum anxiety.</p>
<p>You are entitled to find help for yourself if you think you have or are susceptible to postpartum depression or anxiety. Women who have a family history of depression or anxiety disorder or themselves have a history of these illnesses are more vulnerable to postpartum anxiety or depression. Or if you have extreme PMS symptoms and mood changes you are more likely to have postpartum issues. The good news is that there are professionals available everywhere to help you. The best thing you can do for your family is to get help for yourself. Your OB/GYN or midwife will check in during your recovery to make sure you are not experiencing PPD or PPA, and if you are they can direct you to a professional in the field. There are many postpartum support resources at www.postpartum.net, including links to professionals and groups in your area. You are not alone in this journey of motherhood, so please feel free to connect with me.</p>
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<li>Pancakes for dinner almost every night</li>
<li>Cuddling on the couch, watching American Idol</li>
<li>God's faithfulness in providing when we need it the most</li>
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<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/postpartum-awareness">Postpartum Awareness</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 19, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-mindset
http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-mindset2016-02-15T00:00:00-06:002016-02-15T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>Scrolling through Facebook, I saw this quote - “<strong>It’s not a cult; it’s a community</strong>.” Now it wasn’t in reference to motherhood, but come on moms, we know it could easily be.</p>
<p>We’ve all felt like our house is run by a tiny, sadistic cult leader who demands followers to wake up at 3:00am to decipher his grunts and screams in order to figure out what he needs in order to allow you a couple more hours of sleep. As long as you have children living at home, this might never change.</p>
<p>But maybe you’ve searched through message boards for some kind of answer to an issue your child is having, only to find that some mothers live by the cult mentality where the leader is Perfection. You cannot enter this cult unless you submit to his [Perfection] overbearing hand. Questions on these message boards lead to punishment (these mamas will call you out) or even banishment from this cult (the message board).</p>
<p>But here’s the thing: “<strong>Motherhood is not a cult; it’s a community</strong>.” We are all in this together. I’m not waking up at 3:00am with your child, and maybe you’re not cleaning the Cheerios out of my couch cushions (but you’re welcome to come over to do that). Still, aren’t we all performing certain tasks that we never dreamed we’d be doing before we had a child? Don’t we all lose sleep at night when our children are sick or we are worried about them?</p>
<p>If you get to the essence of just about every mother’s mindset I think you would find that we all just want to do the best by our children. We all want to keep our children safe and healthy. So why is it that moms don’t come to this commonground and love on one another there? Let’s leave the cults behind and instead find community with one another. Let us recognize that we’re all doing our own best, and love one another because of that.</p>
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<li>Trips to the zoo</li>
<li>Date nights</li>
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<p><a href="http://www.mrsmombie.com/">Alexis</a><br />
<a href="http://www.ambertackles.com/">Amber Marie</a><br />
<a href="http://www.moderatemomma.com/">Lindsey</a><br />
<a href="http://www.mommieisntmadeofmoney.com/">Racheal</a><br />
<a href="http://www.simplythewildside.net/#!blog/c7age">Amber Joy</a><br />
<a href="http://www.sweetrighthere.com/">Amanda</a><br />
<a href="http://thebenroecks.com">Lisa B.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.stellarmama.com/">Tiffany</a><br />
<a href="http://www.natashabyrd.com/blog">Natasha</a><br />
<a href="http://www.alwayskatie.com/">Katie</a><br />
<a href="http://frugalsouthernliving.com/">Heather</a></p>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-mindset">Motherhood Mindset</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 15, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/blogging-during-motherhood
http://themotherblog.com/blogging-during-motherhood2016-02-12T00:00:00-06:002016-02-12T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
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<p>Happy 2 month blogiversary to The Mother Blog! So here’s the deal, I’ve been doing this pretty comfortably for two whole months! I’m obviously an expert on the subject now. Except not really. I’m still digging my heals in the ground on adding certain features and joining certain sites to really make my blog explode. Why? Because I’m scared that the shift from “blogging for fun” to “blogging for money” will change the routine I have. I have not read up on how to juggle these two things: blogging and motherhood. But I have developed my own ways to juggle the two that help me every single day.</p>
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<li><strong>Ask for Help</strong> <br />
This is always my number one piece of advice. Ask for help from your spouse, family, and friends. Ask anyone. Maybe you need help with something on the side of the blog. My husband helps me frequently with this because he is in the technology industry, so he knows what he’s doing. Maybe you need a solid afternoon to work on your business, which is your blog- get used to thinking this way! Ask grandparents to watch the children for ahwile. I am writing this blog post because my son stayed with his grandparents last night.</li>
<li><strong>Find Mommy Time</strong> <br />
I wrote <a href="http://www.themotherblog.com/mommy-time">a post</a> about how to do this a couple of weeks ago. A lot of times my mommy time is spent working on my blog because I still consider it a hobby. Once it becomes work, I might have to reevaluate some things, like how to remove the “have to” mentality from what used to be a joy.</li>
<li><strong>Don’t Let Blogging Become a Chore</strong><br />
Laundry is a chore; dishes are a chore. Blogging should not be. If it moves to your chore list along with vacuumming and mopping, you are doing something wrong. Yes, blogging can become a job which means you must work at it like any job. But if it becomes a chore that you just can’t scratch off your to-do list, then why are you using it as a means of income anyways? “Do what you love and the money will come.” But if the money comes, and it is no longer something you love, why do it any longer?</li>
<li><strong>Blog About What is Happening in Your Life</strong> <br />
Getting dinner on the table for all three in our family is tough. So what if I kill two birds with one stone? Cook something I can blog about. I don’t do this enough, but <a href="http://www.themotherblog.com/in-my-kitchen">I have done it once</a>. Doing this gave me a blog prompt and helped me put dinner in the crock pot one morning. Then when I had time, I typed up the post quickly and voila! I had a recipe that I was proud to share and dinner 8 hours later. Do you have toddlers? Do a fun activity with them; then blog about it later. Be sure and take pictures throughout the process!</li>
<li><strong>Find Your Muse</strong> <br />
And include them in your post. I would love to do a blog post in which I interview my husband. Or maybe even let my own husband guest post! Bam! He writes the post, giving me a break from unloading my own brain onto the page. Maybe you have a friend who has been through something that you’ve never experienced. With their permission and maybe their collaboration, use their story on your blog. I belong to an elite group of business oriented women who I would love to feature on my blog. Because of their support, I am sure that any one of them would be willing to drop in on The Mother Blog and benefit from a feature. If you’re looking for a community like this, check out <a href="https://sologirlsquad.com/solo-girl-squadnot714mc?affiliate_id=433763">Solo Girl Squad</a>. <em>This is an affiliate link.</em></li>
<li><strong>Attend Blogger Conferences</strong> <br />
Moms deserve the weekend away too. What better way to have a distraction free weekend to learn, promote, and grow your blog than to attend a <a href="http://inspiredbloggersnetwork.com/ultimate-list-blogging-conferences/">conference for bloggers</a>?! Don’t feel bad about leaving the little ones at home with family. There is no rule forbidding mothers to remain with their children at all times for their first 18 years.</li>
<li><strong>Put the Children in Front of the TV</strong><br />
I do this sometimes. If I need 20 minutes to respond to emails, I turn on an episode of Sesame Street and sit with my son while I whip through replies. When Elmo is on, he doesn’t care what I’m doing. I’m not supporting letting PBS raise your children, but a little screen time is not going to hurt them. Let’s all be honest, we probably do some kind of distraction technique daily so we can get stuff done. It’s fine, really.</li>
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<p>Finding the perfect way to juggle things that works for your family can be an act in itself, but if anything is a true passion for you it’s easy to find a way.</p>
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<p style="text-align: justify;">This post is part of a blog hop from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1607366226196679/" target="_blank">Blogs &amp; Business</a>. Check out some of the other awesome blogs participating:
<a href="http://theartofbetter.com" target="_blank">The Art of Better</a> | <a href="http://beingmrsbeer.com" target="_blank">Being Mrs. Beer</a> | <a href="http://womenwinningonline.com" target="_blank">Women Winning Online</a> | <a href="http://www.themommymyway.com/" target="_blank">Mommy My Way</a> | <a href="http://www.xoava.com" target="_blank">xo -Ava</a> | <a href="http://koriathome.com//" target="_blank">Kori at Home</a> | <a href="http://Www.mabellevie.ca/" target="_blank">Ma Bell Vie</a> | <a href="http://stellarmama.com/" target="_blank">Stellar Mama</a> <a href="http://thejessiek.com/" target="_blank">The Jessie K</a> | <a href="http://makeanddocrew.com/" target="_blank">Make &amp; Do Crew</a> | <a href="http://www.thiskenyanindubaichronicles.com/" target="_blank">This Kenyan Traveler</a> | <a href="http://www.blueeyedbabies.com/" target="_blank">Blue Eyed Babies</a> | <a href="http://www.hebrewdawn.com/" target="_blank">HebrewDawn</a> | <a href="http://www.leahwithlove.com/blog.html" target="_blank">Leah With Love</a> | <a href="http://fightingforfitness.me/ target=">Fighting for Fitness</a> | <a href="http://tottotgoose.com/" target="_blank">Tot Tot Goose</a> | <a href="http://nurturehernature.com/" target="_blank">Nuture Her Nature</a> | <a href="http://blogihealth.com/" target="_blank">Blogihealth</a> | <a href="http://cottonnkandi.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">A Cotton Kandi Life</a> | <a href="http://www.thebipolarmama.com/" target="_blank">The Bipolar Mama</a> | <a href="http://www.simpleacresblog.com/" target="_blank">Simple Acres</a> | <a href="http://www.dawnpdarnell.com/blog" target="_blank">Dawn P Darnell</a> | <a href="http://www.akreativewhim.com/" target="_blank">A Kreative Whim</a> | <a href="http://www.scarlettballantyne.com/" target="_blank">Scarlett Ballantyne</a> | <a href="http://Myunfilteredchaos.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">My Unfiltered Chaos</a> | <a href="http://Thebigredpatchhouse.com/" target="_blank">The Big Red Patch House</a> | <a href="http://www.themotherblog.com/" target="_blank">The Mother Blog</a> | <a href="http://novicemommy.com/" target="_blank">Diary of a New Mommy</a></p>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/blogging-during-motherhood">Blogging During Motherhood</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 12, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-miscommunication
http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-miscommunication2016-02-08T00:00:00-06:002016-02-08T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>Motherhood is not just the relationship between mother and child[ren], but also about the relationship between mother and father. No matter what your official relationship is with each other: friends, dating, married, separated, or divorced, if you’re both in your child’s life you must have a solid plan for communication. One of the worst things you can do for your children is display negative and harmful communication.</p>
<p>Here’s the deal, I’m no angel, nor do I have this communication thing down. But maybe we can all learn something from my experience of <strong>what not to do</strong>.</p>
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<li><strong>You should never yell.</strong> Ever. To anyone really. Okay maybe if you are alone in your car and someone cuts you off, it might be okay to yell from the comfort of your own car. Just make sure they don’t see you yelling because that’s how road rage can become dangerous.</li>
<li><strong>You should not name call.</strong> Your child will call you “meany face” enough in your lifetime, so you don’t need to add to their repertoire of of creative “meany face-like names.”</li>
<li><strong>You should never mutter things under your breath.</strong> Take it from me, this never works. We all know what purpose this serves: it gives us the power to say something outloud that we probably shouldn’t say. That leads us into dangerous territory.</li>
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<p>I asked my husband to help me compile this list of “Things Not to Do.” Wouldn’t you know that he refused to answer me when I asked him to name things I do that makes our communication efforts fail. He said this was a “loaded question” and he “would not go into those deep waters.” Whatever that means.</p>
<hr />
<p>So instead I asked him for ways we could work together to get an A+ in communication. Here is what we came up with together while we were communicating effectively about communicating effectively (see what I did there):</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Take the time to listen to each other.</strong> You might be saying, “well duh! That’s a pretty obvious step in communicating.” That’s what I thought too, but when you dig deeper it all begins with listening. A lot of the times we must listen before we speak. I mean really listen. Don’t tune the other person out because you are too busy formulating a response.</li>
<li><strong>Respond with “I” statements instead of “You” statements.</strong> Ex: “I feel frustrated because you didn’t take the trash out when I asked you and now the pantry stinks.” instead of “You never do anything I ask you.” Using “I” statements opens up door for communication instead of low-ball attacks on each other.</li>
<li><strong>Make your intentions and expectations clear.</strong> I don’t believe in mind readers. Maybe you do; in that case I guess you can skip this tip. But my husband definitely can’t read my mind. I know this because he has made it very clear from the beginning. So as much as I would love it if he could read my mind, the fact is still that he can’t. I must be very clear and precise with what I expect. This doesn’t mean I beat him over the head with this information. It simply means that I tell him respectfully.</li>
<li><strong>Shelve the conversation.</strong> If it’s turning into a conflict that seems to have no solution, don’t be afraid to shelve it and come back to it later. If your children are hanging off your legs, begging for dinner, and crying over spilt milk, hit pause on the convo and try again when there is quiet and peace. But if you do this, go on about your day amicably. This isn’t an opportunity to stomp around and pout because your significant other is mad at you. Be comfortable enough to continue on positively until you’re able to rejoin and discuss healthily.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Ready for a truth dump?</strong> My husband and I sometimes fail at communicating. Sometimes we do everything wrong and nothing right in the heat of the moment. And sometimes we do go to bed angry. But we always come back to the conversation and try again. We never leave anything unsolved. Usually by the second or third try we will get it right because we are able to put aside our selfish desires and work as a team to solve the issue.</p>
<p>This week I challenge you to talk to the mother/father of your children and come up with a way you you can communicate more effectively. Share it with me or on social media under <strong>#MotherhoodMonday</strong> if you feel so inclined. I am always up for adding more tools in my proverbial toolbox.</p>
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<ul>
<li>Lazy Saturdays</li>
<li>First burger in almost 6 months</li>
<li>Finding a new show to binge watch</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/7E0J7sL.png" />
</figure>
<p><a href="http://www.newandnaturalmom.com/">Farrah</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.simplythewildside.net/#!blog/c7age">Amber Joy</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.sweetrighthere.com/">Amanda</a> <br />
<a href="http://thebenroecks.com">Lisa B.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.stellarmama.com/">Tiffany</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.mommieisntmadeofmoney.com/">Racheal</a></p>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-miscommunication">Motherhood Miscommunication</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 08, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/love-languages
http://themotherblog.com/love-languages2016-02-05T00:00:00-06:002016-02-05T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>The <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/">5 Love Languages</a> were developed by Gary Chapman as a way to help couples connect with one another.</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Acts of Service</strong> - performing a task for another person</li>
<li><strong>Physical Touch</strong> - being in close physical proximity and physically touching another person</li>
<li><strong>Quality Time</strong> - spending valuable time together</li>
<li><strong>Receiving Gifts</strong> - giving thoughtful gifts to another person</li>
<li><strong>Words of Affirmation</strong> - giving an encouraging word or a compliment</li>
</ol>
<p>My husband and I took the test to discover our love languages when we were engaged to be married. I retook the test in order to write this post, and my love languages have shifted a little. If I had to guess what caused the shift I would say that adult life, living together, and having a child shifted those results. Think about it: the first time we took this test, we lived separately. We didn’t have a home together to maintain. I was still in college full-time. There were no little humans to take care of. I knew before I retook the test that I would for sure score high in <strong>Acts of Service</strong> because the sexiest thing my husband can do is help out around the house without being asked. This just proves that it is important to take inventory on the 5 Love Languages every 1-2 years.</p>
<p>So without further ado here are my results:</p>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/GNaKp6w.png" />
</figure>
<p>My previous love language was <strong>Quality Time</strong>, so I knew that would still be pretty high on the list. Funnily enough, <strong>Acts of Service</strong> used to be pretty far down on the list. But once again, it totally makes sense. Don’t tell me I’m beautiful; just put a load of laundry in the washer and I get the point. I’m a firm believe in “actions speak louder than words.”</p>
<p><strong>Quality Time</strong> is, without a doubt, important to me. I would rather have a trip or outing than a physical gift (although apparently I like to receive gifts also). Take me to dinner instead of buying me flowers.</p>
<p>Let’s skip to the bottom: <strong>Physical Touch</strong>. I have never been much for affection. Take it or leave it. But you better let me sleep on my side of the bed, alone. Here’s a get-real-moment for you: I need to work on this one because my husband highly values <strong>Physical Touch</strong>. This mama is trying.</p>
<hr />
<p>I asked my husband to retake the test as well, and he kindly did that for me (check that off as an <strong>Act of Service</strong>):</p>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/zZHOOSu.png" />
</figure>
<p>See what is happening here: we are opposites in many ways. That means that instead of thinking just of what we individually need, we must learn to know what each other needs. My husband must stretch himself by speaking my love language because that particular language is pretty low on his list. And I must really, really stretch myself by speaking his love language. But I think that’s the point of Gary Chapman’s <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/">5 Love Languages</a>. You learn how to complement one another.</p>
<p>Your turn, lovely readers! Take the test, and have your signficant other take the test. Compare the results, and discuss ways that you can both complement each other’s love languages. For Valentine’s Day, remember to take your significant other’s Love Language into account.</p>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/ZyFbm3s.jpg" />
</figure>
<ol>
<li><strong>Acts of Service</strong> - Put together a chore coupon book with all the chores your significant other despises doing.</li>
<li><strong>Physical Touch</strong> - Give your significant other a massage with massage oil, candles lit, and a song that means a lot to your relationship playing in the background.</li>
<li><strong>Quality Time</strong> - Plan a new and exciting date. Maybe you can stay home and try cooking a new and exotic meal together. Homemade sushi, anyone?</li>
<li><strong>Receiving Gifts</strong> - Give/make a thoughtful gift that you’ve never given your significant other before.</li>
<li><strong>Words of Affirmation</strong> - Write a poem or story about your significant other and transfer it into a nice journal or illustrate it to be displayed.</li>
</ol>
<p>Let me know in the comments what you discovered through the 5 Love Languages or how you can better speak your significant other’s love language. I would love to hear how you incorporated your lover’s love language into Valentine’s Day.</p>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/love-languages">Five Love Languages</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 05, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-miracles
http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-miracles2016-02-01T00:00:00-06:002016-02-01T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/AAdYHIW.png" />
</figure>
<p>Let’s just get this out of the way. To me, my son is a miracle, our rainbow baby. I could talk about how grateful I am all day and how I didn’t expect him after what we went through a year prior. But instead I want to focus on the miracles that happen daily in our house.</p>
<h2 id="miracles-ive-experienced">Miracles I’ve Experienced</h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>I’ve kept a child alive for 18 months.</strong> Whether or not you consider this a miracle, I do. Before my son came along, I had never changed a diaper or even held a baby. I’m an only child, so it’s no wonder I was never around a plethora of babies. While I was pregnant, I had some serious worries about dropping my child or never being comfortable enough holding him to loosen up. But when they placed him in my arms, it all came together. And since then, life has been exactly like that: just coming together in some form or fashion that allowed me another day with this brilliant human being.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>My boy loves routine.</strong> I would say that he probably inherited it from me, but it’s still too early to tell if it’s really part of his personality. I say a prayer everyday though. I’m a creature of serious habit. I started a routine with my son at two months of age, and we’ve pretty much stuck with some variation of the schedule since then, taking into account growth. I don’t think my son has missed a nap ever. I always said I wanted to have another child within two years of my first child, but I think having such an easy child has me seriously dragging my feet on adding another human to the mix.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>The amount of love I have for my son is immeasureable.</strong> You hear people tell you all the time when you’re pregnant, that you are about to experience an explosion of love. Before my son was born, I knew three kinds of love: family, friends, spouse. I had not experienced the love of a child. It is unreal. They all try to tell you how unreal it is, but until you have experienced it you can’t imagine. Soon-to-be-moms, there’s nothing you need to do to prepare for this love because you can’t stop it from overtaking you. Out of all the crazy things people say to pregnant women, know that the one thing you can count on being true is the love explosion you are going to experience the first time someone places that baby in your arms. And the best part is that it grows every single day. I have never uttered words more than “I love that boy” when I’m talking about him or “I love you” when I am talking to him.</p>
</li>
</ul>
<h2 id="miracles-i-pray-for">Miracles I Pray For</h2>
<ul>
<li>
<p><strong>My son will grow up to be upstanding.</strong> I pray every day that I’m doing this right. I know the kind of man I want to raise my son to be. But I can only do so much as a mom. I know, I know if I do the best I can that is all that matters. But is it? Is my best good enough? This is where I have to pray for God’s divine intervention in making him a respectful and loving man. I can’t do this alone.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>My son will always be surrounded by love.</strong> This is a tough one that makes me heart hurt if I think about it too much. I know that in this fallen world this is not possible. My son will encounter people along the way who just don’t show love and kindness. I pray that he is never damaged by this and that his own ability to show love and kindness towards other is not hampered.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p><strong>How can I multiply my love?</strong> We know we want to have more children, but how can I possibly contain more love in my life? I think about this a lot. I know it’s possible because everyone swears it is. But it doesn’t compute in my mind. I’m afraid of having to transfer love from my son to a new child. People say that’s not how it works; your love just multiplies or something like that. But what if it doesn’t?</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>I believe that motherhood is full of miracles, big and small; never forget to celebrate. If you look closely enough, I’m sure you will find miracles hiding throughout your day.
What are some miracles you’ve experienced in your own life, whether you are a mom or not?</p>
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<li>Brunch with my boys</li>
<li>Sunny days perfect for hammock naps</li>
<li>A loving husband who will do the grocery shopping</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://www.mrsmombie.com/">Alexis</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.moderatemomma.com/">Lindsey</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.engineertosahm.blogspot.com/">Christy</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.mommieisntmadeofmoney.com/">Racheal</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.mymspibaby.com/">Rebekah</a> <br />
<a href="http://www.simplythewildside.net/#!blog/c7age">Amber Joy</a><br />
<a href="http://www.sweetrighthere.com/">Amanda</a></p>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/vmDspJ5.png" />
</figure>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/motherhood-miracles">Motherhood Miracles</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on February 01, 2016.</p>http://themotherblog.com/mommy-time
http://themotherblog.com/mommy-time2016-01-29T00:00:00-06:002016-01-29T00:00:00-06:00The Mom Who Blogshttp://themotherblog.comthemomwhoblogs@gmail.com<p>If you follow me on <a href="http://www.instagram.com/themotherblog">Instagram</a>, you know that I am lucky to have #mommytime almost daily. This is not because I feel I have earned it or I save up points to barter with for mommy time. It’s because I’m a stay-at-home mom who needs alone time for a few minutes a day in order to survive. I think a lot of moms fall into the trap of “I’m the mom, so without my 24/7 attention the kids, the house, the pets, and the husband would all cease to function.” Here’s a newsflash, although what you do is important, it’s not going to change much if you take a few mom minutes away from it all.</p>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/1Ok4fpA.jpg" />
<figcaption>These are some of my favorite mommy time activities.</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>I’m not talking about locking your kids in their bedrooms while you sip on a margarita and watch soap operas (although I’m not saying you can’t do this). What I am suggesting is that you ask your partner, parents, or babysitter to watch the dang kids for an hour so you can lock yourself in your room and read a romance novel (or in my case a grusome murder thriller). Here are some ways to achieve the greatness that is #mommytime:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Ask family</strong> because believe me, grandparents love it when you do this. If I ever need a babysitter, I’m pretty sure my parents would all but strangle me if I asked someone before them to watch my son. This is because they live 20 minutes away and are always willing to drive the short distance to make it happen. Not all of you have that, so this wouldn’t be an option. I know we are lucky in this sense.</li>
<li><strong>Trade babysitting</strong> with friends or neighbors. Trust me, you’re not the only mom wanting time alone. Talk to your mommy friends, and team up against your children (haha okay, not against them, but maybe). Find times that you watch her children and your’s while she goes to Target alone. Yes, this might seem like the opposite of #mommytime because it is. But remember that you get a turn too. Drop your kids off (or whatever you arrange) and get the hell out of dodge because in this case, you did earn it.</li>
<li><strong>Hire a babysitter</strong> because they’re not just for date nights. There are plenty of babysitters who would take on a weekday on a regular schedule so that you can have childfree fun (probably running errands, but still that’s mommy time to a lot of people). There’s no shame in this.</li>
<li><strong>Mom’s day out programs</strong> are lifesavers for many moms I know. Again, no shame in this. These programs are mutually beneficial. Your kids get time with other kids in a safe and school-like environment, while, once again, you get the hell out of dodge. I can only dream about all that I would accomplish with just two days a week of total freedom.</li>
<li><strong>Nap time</strong> because if all of the stuff above just won’t work for you, there’s [sometimes] always nap time. I live for nap time. 1:00 p.m. rolls around, and I don’t care who you are or what you want from me, it’s nap time so I’m putting my guy down and partying like I’m avoiding a noise complaint. Nap time is rarely for folding laundry or doing dishes. I hardly ever sit down to pay bills or meal plan during this time. This is MY time. I watch trashy TV or read a novel. Sometimes I even take a bubble bath (gasp!) in the middle of the afternoon. There’s no stopping me at this time. Then when my little guy wakes up, I am ready to take on the second half of the day.</li>
<li><strong>Let Daddy take over</strong> because some unlucky moms don’t get nap time anymore- I know the day is coming when my guy doesn’t take naps anymore, and I’m just avoiding that thought altogether. But when Daddy gets home, you ask him to take over for an hour. And guess what, he will do it, not because he just spent the whole day having adult conversations and worrying about things other than how to get that poop stain out of the carseat or how he could make it to the store before the applesauce was all gone. He will do it because he loves his kids, and he’s their parent too. If he’s smart, he will really do it because he doesn’t want his wife to go cray cray.</li>
<li><strong>Put kids to bed early</strong> because if all else fails, your kids have to sleep at some point. So what if you’re too exhausted to stay up past their bedtime. Sometimes the best mommy time is sleep.</li>
</ol>
<p>There they are: seven actual ways to achieve the #mommytime status of your dreams. If you’re a superhero, you could even implore ALL of them. Not even I have reached that level of super powers.</p>
<p>But in all seriousness, mommy time is so important. There is no Guinness Record for number of consecutive hours spent taking care of children and home without rest. You won’t receive a medal for this. The dishes in the sink aren’t praising you for putting them in the dishwasher right at this moment. The clothes aren’t disintegrating in the hamper; you have time for all those chores. Prioritize yourself sometimes.</p>
<figure>
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/NxgMpJb.png" />
</figure>
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<img src="/images/weekday_fav.png" />
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<ul>
<li>Springlike weather we are having in Texas</li>
<li>Getting our heater fixed!</li>
<li>Connecting with an old friend</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<p><a href="http://themotherblog.com/mommy-time">Seven Ways to Find Mommy Time</a> was originally published by The Mom Who Blogs at <a href="http://themotherblog.com">The Mother Blog</a> on January 29, 2016.</p>