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Secret Service Takes Guns, Pony Away From Vermin Supreme

Finally! A candidate worth voting for has entered the presidential race. Vermin Supreme is back for 2016’s presidential primary, this year filing in the Democratic contest. On Friday the boot-wearing candidate, who advocates mandatory teeth-brushing, is promising to buy everyone a pony if he is elected, and will go back in time to kill Hitler if elected, filed for the office of President in Concord, NH with a $1,000 filing fee.

Before heading into the state house to file, Vermin exercised his right to open carry weapons and strapped on a few guns, including a pistol attached to the boot on his head. Sadly, the Secret Service had taken over the state house and were somehow able to temporarily destroy NH’s freedom to carry a gun. Vermin was disarmed, and they would not even allow him to bring in his pony doll or even a cigarette lighter. Apparently they were protecting some lesser candidate named Ben Carson with their ridiculous security apparatus. Here’s the full RAW video of his appearance at the NH state house:

Of course, the security is all for show. If someone were intent on hurting Carson, they could simply wait until he leaves the building.

It’s supposedly illegal for the government to deprive people of their right to bear arms in NH’s government buildings that aren’t considered “secure facilities” like jails or courts. Apparently these rules do not apply to the Secret Service.