Thursday, July 21, 2011

Powerwolf-Blood Of the Saints

Metal Blade Records2011

There have been times lately when a terrible thought would occur to me. What if while I am sitting here listening to these albums I'm really on some sort of hidden camera reality show? What if some of these albums are just a test to see how much one person is willing to take before they crack up? Has it all been a cruel joke pulled on me? What if right now as I listen to Blood Of the Saints there are people at home laughing at me because they are in on it and here I sit scratching my head trying to make sense of all of this? God help me if that truly is the case. Dear God please help me.

Let's start with this promo picture. They are not serious are they? Black metal goth? Are they supposed to be scary? Honestly, they look like idiots. Especially the guy in front who I assume is their singer. Someone should have stepped in and took away the fact paint. Just hideous. What were they thinking? Moving onto to the actual music though which is the whole reason for this write up. European rock and heavy metal bands have a long standing tradition of being all about inflated self-importance. With that all the pomp and circumstance are on full display here. Get past the outlandish outfits and you have high pitched singing, 80's style backing vocals (IE. ganging up on the chorus), song titles that sound like cheesy horror movies ("We Drink Your Blood" and "Murder At Midnight") and of course lyrics that sound like they were written by 12 year old boys. One or two songs like this would be enough to test the endurance of any listener, but when seemingly every song follows the same pattern well now your talking headache territory. The touch of organ music only helps to give the whole affair a Gothic vibe and make it sound all the more ridiculous. With all do respect to fans of over-the-top European power metal this one would literally cause your teeth to rot out with how sugary the whole thing comes off. What could be considered competent power metal breaks down into an album that will leave you wondering if Powerwolf are in on the joke or if they are the jokers? Either way this one is for die hard fans only as I have a feeling real heavy metal freaks will have the same feeling I had and be left wondering "are these guys for real?".

"So, in closing, fuck you METAL MARK. Fuck you, fuck Lynch Mob, and fuck your shitty website!”
“I don't know who this METAL MARK is, but I know better than to waste my time checking out anything else written by this asshole”
-Mike