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Funny satire stories about Arsenal

A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger took offence during yesterdays press conference after the loss to Stoke City in the Premier League, when a journalist criticised the club for losing the match 3-2. The French manager took issue with the journalist talki...

Arsenal FC manager Arsene Wenger reported the theft of his credit card to his banks fraud team today. The football coach became suspicious that someone was using his card when coming across the £30 million purchase of Chilean striker Alexis Sanchez i...

After stating to ESPN that fourth place is good enough for Arsenal this season, Olivier Giroud has also revealed that he is fine with a cheese sandwich instead of a steak, and would settle for watching Miranda instead of Monty Python.
Olivier also...

Arsene Wenger is said to be keen to dip into his summer transfer war chest to bring experience to the goalkeeping department, after admitting in a recent press conference that his current 1st choice keeper is too inexperienced for the premier league.

The news that we've been waiting all summer for finally happened last night. Not the birth of Royal baby George, or Gareth Bale joining Madrid, but at 8.34pm in the 'Going Loco-local' supermarket on Holloway High St, under fire Arsenal manager Arsene...

David Cameroon cut short his holiday last night to fly home and deal with the impending Premier League transfer crisis.
'Call Me Dave' and Sam-cam were topping up their tan on their fifteenth mini-break of the year, staying on the recently renamed...

Liverpool striker Luis Suárez has been placed on the naughty step until he apologizes to Manager Brendan Rodgers for attempting to make his career as a footballer better, more challenging and to accrue more money for himself, by orchestrating a move...

Arsenal Football Club were in crisis last night, as the latest attempt to sign a living breathing non-retired footballer before the new EPL season starts were dealt a hammer blow when a credit card transaction to buy Luis Suarez was rejected.
A cl...

London - "Me neither," said a disgusted Theo Walcott as news of the filthy slur went viral.
Within minutes the rebuttal spread to Arsenal goalie Wojciech Szczesny who too rejected the "shi++y bit of crap".
Next Lukas Podolski and Jack Wilshere...

A disgruntled Manchester City fan today proudly announced his family will 'eat like royalty for a week' after he decided not to pay the outrageous price of £62 to watch 90 minutes of football at the Emirates Stadium in 'that there London'.
Manches...

As the transfer window reopens on January 1st and the future of Theo Walcott at Arsenal still undecided, the saga took a development today when Theo put his house in Hertfordshire up for sale.
Speculation mounted that Walcott was going to live in...

"Can we play you every week" was the chant that echoed around the Emirates stadium at 5pm on Saturday. Unfortunately for Arsenal, but fortunately for Gareth Bale, no Arsenal can't play Tottenham every week. A majestic Arsenal performance was capped o...

Theo Walcott and his agent are to meet with Arsenal officials this week to discuss a new contract, and rather than asking for more money, they will demand a brand new hat - for Walcott to place his match-balls in.
Walcott scored three times - a ha...

The Football League will meet today to decide on implementing a new rule to boost interest in the Capital One sponsored League Cup, which has routinely been dismissed by the big Premier League clubs since the introduction of the Champions League grou...

Emirates Stadium, North London: Last night at the Arsenal AGM (25th Oct 2012), there were feisty discussions on whether a trophy less Arsenal, had the right to charge £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!
Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke who was insi...

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger says he sees a future for Nicklas Bendtner, 24, at the Emirates despite sending the Denmark striker on loan to Juventus after spending a season with Sunderland.
(Guardian)
The club need a burger bar assistant who speaks Danish.
Uruguay were going to play a World Cup qualifier against Colombia in local second division side Solo Junior's away strip until their kit...

Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood admits the Gunners cannot compete in the transfer market with Chelsea and Manchester City.
(Evening Standard)
They are however very convenient for kebab shops and Screen On The Green cinema in Upper Street.
Newcastle will try again to sign winger Tom Ince, 20, from Blackpool in January after having a £4m bid rejected.
(Mirror)
Rumours that the son of former...

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