Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.

Hobbies: Writing story ideas as they come to me and then never actually writing them. Also, I enjoy writing back to readers who took the time to review :3

I...completely forgot I had an account on this thing.

Anyway, I call myself Nimrochan, and I used to write what I like to call "crack-fanfiction" in high school whenever I was bored. Now, I'm working full time, and I have far better things I should be doing.

But writing crack-fics is too much fun 8D

PROFILE UPDATE

I realized I should probably put more information about myself.

I live in Florida, where it's very hot and I don't go outdoors that often. I have also lived in Israel and Japan.

I watch a lot of anime. I also like reading. I'm too lazy to list all the shows, movies, anime, and books that I like but they're all really good.

I'm not fond of when people insist on showing me youtube videos of cats. For some reason I've met an alarming number of people who do this to me.

But I will admit that I love videos of turtles eating for some reason...

Ahem*

I also can't stand reality shows. Just, not judging anyone who watches those, but when I come home and my sister is watching one I have to leave again.

Anyway, I also enjoy swimming, writing, drawing, and petting animals that are in my vicinity. I can also speak beginner/intermediate Hebrew and Japanese.

My parents divorced when I was very young. I think that's why I love cartoons so much.

In real life I'm actually much more shy and quiet than I am on the Internet. People have mistaken this for me being cold or mean. I think I have a scary face. But I do try to always be nice, be it on the Internet or real life. If you wrote to me and I haven't written back, it's either because a) I didn't receive your message, or b) I'm being shy and awkward and I'm terribly sorry.

I am also a hypochondriac. That is why I swore off Webmd and watching "House." I'm quite happy with that decision.

Like many people, I love animals. Except for hamsters, they creep me out. At one point I had considered being a vet, but the idea was dismissed after remembering how lazy I am with intense studies.

Crackfiction and chibis are my only talents. I suppose my original writing is good too, but I can't really know since I don't generally let people read any of it *self-conscious*

My dreams are very big and include many things. I like traveling a lot, so maybe I'll get into international business and continue to learn languages. On the other hand, I like creating things and entertaining people, so I'd also like to maybe be a producer or writer and get into movies/TV shows. I've also considered being a plumber at one point (I have many good reasons for this: little job competition, good pay, people will always need plumbers hence there will always be work, I enjoy fixing things, Mario is a plumber, etc.) My ultimate dream is to be a mangaka (manga artist), but lack of professional drawing abilities, lack of fluency in Japanese, and being lazy in general would probably hinder that. Hey I'm a realist, what can I say.

WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME

I collect weird mugs and notebooks

The sound of my laughter is that of a dying hyena

I have a severe phobia of bees

I have spent literally years of my life getting my Gollum impersonation down to an eerie perfection

I haven't done it in a while so it's really rusty

I am a pessimist who tries valiantly to make all the decisions of an optimist

I hate zombie movies but love zombie video games for some reason

(EDIT: I loved Zombieland)

I love birds

I have a scar on my left wrist from when I burned myself making Mac N' Cheese

I don't like apples

English is not my first language

I almost got arrested for sneaking into a school auditorium after hours so I could watch anime on a big screen

I made that last part up

Or maybe I didn't

I was once accidentally exposed to pepper spray

All my friends are taller than me

All of them

I once handled a Gila monster

It was awesome

CGI babies and dancing animals seriously creep me out

I like Glee songs but I don't watch Glee

The man who handed me the Gila monster is a 6'4" friend of mine

I'm slowly starving to death because I'm so broke

I still laugh at Looney Tunes. Like, really hard.

I once worked at a petshop

Where I discovered fish cannot live in a bowl

I felt lied to

I am a 90's chick. I listen to Nirvana and watch old Warner Bros. cartoons, Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z are among my first anime, and I got my first cell phone at 16 and my first laptop at 18.

I like being a 90's chick.

I failed high school Algebra

I didn't learn how to bike until I was twenty

I have a scar on my left knee from when I crashed my bike after a bee flew in my face... at age twenty

I am of that generation of Harry Potter readers who literally grew up with the characters, and waited til the midnight releases of the last three books

I don't know if I'll ever love anything more than I do Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist

(Edit: ATTACK ON EFFING TITAN)

I cuss like a sailor whenever I play video games

Pointlessy stupid and ironic things happen to me all the time

I think it's why I hate sitcom humor so much

I sometimes experience sleep paralysis

I look exactly the same as I did ten years ago and it really freaks people out

My handwriting makes my English teachers cry

I think that the "Major Boobage" episode of South Park was the funniest 23 minutes of my life

My fingertips get so cold that sometimes my touchscreen doesn't work for me

Bad horror movies are my guilty pleasure

My handwriting makes me cry

Sometimes I get so bored I narrate my life out-loud

My hips are double-jointed

And I can sit in a way that makes my legs look broken

It's really creepy

Most of my cell phone photos are of baked goods and weird bugs I find

If I where a witch, I'd be a Gryffindor

And my Patronus would be a Star-Bellied Sneetch

And I wouldn't ever actually see said Patronus because I'd be a Squib

Why did they let me be a Gryffindor if I'm a Squib?

People tell me that I always look frustrated or angry

But honestly my face is just like that

I like learning things, but I usually forget what I learned a week later at the most

I can't stop adding things to this profile

I find assembling IKEA furniture strangely therapeutic

I'm so pale I can't find a makeup foundation to match my skin color

I can't cook

I have a scar on my right leg from when my roommate's laundry pile became self-aware and attacked me

Pre HBP. Days before his sixteenth birthday, Harry Potter disappears in a blaze of fire and magic. When he returns, few recognize him for who he is. He's out for Voldemort, as per the Task the Founders' set to him. And he isn't about to fail.

Have you heard of the '333 ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart? Well, here's an FMA twist on it with the whole cast! It's manga and 1st anime based. Rated: T. This is just to get rid of writers block and supress my boredom. XD COMPLETE CRACK.

The Lost - Genesis - When a Galactic Empire comes seeking the last Kryptonian, Clark's life changes forever. Will he survive the coming trials, and will he be able to protect his family along the way? AU Book 2 complete!

It’s back! What if FMA was re-made for Pokémon’s audience? Worse still, what if FMA's original plot was scrapped for Pokémon's? Will Ed and his Pokémist Al thwart Team Homo's evil plans? Will Winry get a new bike? Will Ed ever be able to swear again?

Pre!HBP AU, Dark!Harry. A mysterious summons brings Harry to Gringotts, where he learns of his true heritage as a dakaath, a demonic parallel of the veela, and of his destiny as the heir of Lord Grindelwald. HarryCho, HarryFem!OC. No slash. Discontinued.

COMPLETE. [Sequel to Where in the World is Harry Potter?] Now that Harry has been found, he's going to teach DADA at Hogwarts again for the first time. Will he change and grow as a person? Will he find love? Enh... doubtful.

Harry has had a hard life, harder than anyone knows, even himself. What happens when Snape finds out that Harry's mind couldn't take the strain and fractured, leaving the BWL with MPD? PreHBP COMPLETE!

COMPLETE. PostOotP. Harry Potter fulfilled the prophecy and has since disappeared. Or has he? Tonks and Hermione are the lead Order members continuously hoping to track him down. The question is: can they keep up with him?

A horrendus piece of poo two stupid girls threw together in a fit of drugged up hilarium. Concerns Harry and Malfoy (who speaks Spansih but doesn't) and Ron and Hermione. If you read this, you will die seven days later.

Haruka Jaeger, like the rest of humanity, is forced to live the life of trapped prey as man-eating Titans roam the outside world. His dream is to one day kill all the Titans and swim all the waters of the world, including lava. He does not understand what lava is.

Crackfic parody. Ed is constantly drunk, and Al is generally depressed. Yet both persevere in their quest to restore their bodies through the legendary Internet, a mythical power said to hold unimaginable forces. However, a hidden, stupid evil awaits...

What would our beloved boy wizard be like if Stephanie Meyer wrote Harry Potter? If your answer is anything other than "like someone giving me the plague," you will not enjoy this fic and should probably move on to the next summary. Thank you for your time.

(OLD WRITING PIECE I may eventually continue it) The sequel to Teen Titans vs. Hurricane Buttercup is finally here! Yipee! Will the Teen Titans adequately prepare for the storm, or are they doomed to madness yet again? Read and find out!

(OLD WRITING PIECE) Stupid & funny fic. Kind of a parody of the episode of The Simpsons when Sideshow Bob worked at the construction site, only it's Voldemort. Also, Hermione gets Mad Griffin Disease. Takes place during OOTP.

(OLD WRITING PIECE) The Teen Titans are trapped indoors for hours. Madness ensues. I guarantee you will laugh out loud at some point in this story. Warning: may cause you to fall off your chair laughing, as it did to one of my more unfortunate reviewers. I eat flamers.

(OLD WRITING PIECE) Did you ever notice how similar all the Pokemon episodes are? If you're a Pokemon-lover, you'll love this. If you're a Pokemon-hater, you'll love this. PG just to be safe. Please don't sue.