On January 22, 2015 I lost my first and only daughter to stillbirth.
She was 1lb 3oz, 32 weeks.

The doctor's can't find a reason why this happened, and they are calling it "a freak accident." Although my stillbirth was caused by placenta abrupta they are still saying the same thing with no known cause for the abruption.

I am having a hard time with moving forward. Some days are easier than others, but other days are worse. Some days feel hopeless and meaningless. Me and my fiance were so looking forward to being parents. In a way I know we are but we aren't in the way we had hoped.

Where I live talking about stillbirth is really taboo so there aren't many counselors that I have found/talked to, who really know how to help me. I hope that I can find some guidance or insight on how I can manage the day to day.

If anyone has any questions please feel free to drop me a line in my inbox or reply on here. Thank you in advance.

hi trixxigrl i am so sorry for your loss sadly this condition causes the loss of so many babies and the cause is usually unknown i hope you don't look for answers by blaming yourself in any way sadly these tragedys are unpreventable and just happen i know she will never be forgotten and i pray you will be blessed in the future with a family to love and cherish.Try to look to the future as you grieve with your loving partner we can't change the past we just have to learn to accept what is and this will take time Talking to friends and family will give you some support through the sadness until you can start to look with hope to your future again i send my love and a hug to you and offer my prayers to your angel in heaven xx

Welcome to the forum. I'm really sorry for the loss but let me tell you a few things how to be happy again.

Its normal (scientifically proven) to be hopeless and sad when we loose someone, however know that after some time everything is healed and we just get over it (agian this is scientifically proven). We feel that we will never get over it, but we are always wrong because time heals everything and thats a fact.

Now that you know that (my apologies for being so straight) you will suffer as much as you want to. Let me explain, if you cut your finger and spend the entire day crying you will suffer an entire day. if you cry for 1 minute you will suffere much less - "suffering is self inflicted" its what you make of it.

I know its easier said than done but now that you know how the human mind works you should be able to get over it faster.