NYCAASA Blog

Project DOT: In Conversation With Christina Ortiz

Published on June 26, 2018 by Teri Rosenberg

Project DOT (Dream. Own. Tell.) is a sexual assault prevention program for kids and teens that aims to engage youth in discussions about healthy relationships, consent, and the importance of being an active bystander to end sexual violence.

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault has worked in partnership with community-based organizations to ensure children and teens from underserved communities have a safe space to talk about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality. Through workshops and community mobilization activities, youth mentors instill positive messages about sexuality, gender roles, self-esteem, etc. as a way of counteracting the culture of violence exposed to in our daily lives.

As part of our social media campaign for the South East and East Asian group, we sat down with Christina Ortiz, our new Senior Prevention Coordinator, to get an inside look at how Project DOT served the South East and East Asian community.

SVFREE: What made you join the Alliance?

ORTIZ: I joined the Alliance because sexual violence is a human rights, social justice, public health, and criminal justice issue. By providing education and having honest conversations, we can create a culture of respect, safety, and equality.

SVFREE: Can you explain your position and what it looks like on a daily basis?

ORTIZ: My title is Senior Prevention Coordinator. That means I manage the Alliance’s community-based prevention services including Project DOT. I also am the Regional Coordinator (RC) as The Alliance is one of the six New York State Department of Health designated Regional Centers For Sexual Violence Prevention. As RC, I collaborate with our partner agencies (CVTC, Mt. Sinai Beth Israel, Bellevue, and Bronx DA) to provide prevention services throughout NYC communities. My day-to-day varies, but in general it includes responding to program/workshops requests, presenting sexual violence prevention workshops like Bystander Intervention, working on our partner collaborative prevention programs like OutSmartNYC, enhancing our DOT curriculum, preparing for and facilitating Project DOT workshops, and of course, the non-fun aspects of work, reports.

SVFREE: What’s the most gratifying take away from your job?

ORTIZ: The most gratifying take away is being able to provide education and support and motivate change to diverse and underserved communities.

SVFREE: In your words, how would you describe Project DOT?

ORTIZ: Project DOT is a program that provides a safe, educational and empowering space for minority and underserved communities to learn about and work to end sexual violence. Project DOT shows them the role they play as leaders in their self-identified communities. It uses community-level prevention techniques including a youth-created social media campaign and community mobilization projects to engage their peers in the conversation about social norms, healthy relationships, and consent.

SVFREE: What were your first impressions upon completing the first two weeks?

ORTIZ: My first impression was that youth have more insight than adults give them credit for and the range of personal experiences of youth.

SVFREE: How was the experience of completing your first round?

ORTIZ: Completing my first round of Project DOT was enlightening. It will be interesting to hear examples of how peers and adults in these youths’ lives contribute to their knowledge, beliefs, and perceptions about relationships. I learned what material works perfectly, what needs to be tweaked for the population, and how important the community mobilization activities are. We do an activity called community mapping, where they identify what communities they belong to. We later use this to figure out how they will gear the community mobilization to their communities. It also allows them to implement what they’ve learned in Project DOT and see what impact they can make within their communities as change-leaders.

SVFREE: In terms of Project DOT, what do the prevention and community mobilization activities look like with youth?

ORTIZ: Typically, the community mobilization activities involve the youth designing and launching an activity to engage peers, parents, caregivers, and other adults from their respective communities in dialogues about teen sexual violence prevention. This could include hosting a community event, a teach-in, or recruiting friends for a bystander intervention training.

This round our youth focused on using online platforms to engage their communities. Their four projects are 1. “Draw my Life” video focusing on victim blaming, 2. Q&A about teen healthy relationships with questions from their peers, 3. Youth Resource Page that will be part of our Project DOT website, and 4. How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz

A few of our youth will also be sharing their experiences with Project DOT on the Alliance’s podcast, “Sex Talk Happy Hour”.

ORTIZ: I would say the biggest theme Project DOT focuses on would be the gender norms/social norms that contribute to unhealthy relationships and rape culture.

SVFREE: What about this round of Project DOT are you particularly impressed by?

ORTIZ: I was impressed by how many commitments these youth have. They are busy, between school, extracurricular activities, studying for SATs and Regents, and even part-time jobs, they have more commitments than I did at their age. It amazes me how they balance it all.

SVFREE: What do you think entertainment can be doing better in terms of its messaging? Whether it’s TV, film, or music?

ORTIZ: Messaging in entertainment is changing slowly. However, it is still behind in terms of diversity, victim-blaming, its ambivalence about violence against women, and how it portrays healthy relationships, especially to youth, to name a few. Media needs to do better in conveying a realistic impression of the time, effort, and commitment that healthy relationships require.

SVFREE: How do you think social media affects the way they take in these messages?

ORTIZ: Social media is one of the most accessible and used platforms, especially by youth. They use it to share emotional connections, find ideas, express themselves, and learn. Instagram, Twitter, FB, and other social media platforms contribute to the unhealthy messages youth, who are just beginning to develop their identities, receive by exposing them to unrealistic or harmful behaviors and stereotypes. This results in them having unreasonable expectations of sexual and gender norms and experiencing difficulty in forming healthy relationships. Look at #relationshipgoals, it only shows the good and photogenic side of a relationship but never the struggles that the couples may be experiencing.

SVFREE: What kind of an impact do you hope will Project DOT create within these communities?

ORTIZ: I hope that it will spark and create an opportunity for conversation about healthy relationships including sex, consent, gender roles, and dating. As someone who is also a part of an underserved community, talking about sex, healthy relationships, and violence was not encouraged nor did it typically happen between youth and adults.

SVFREE: What did you learn from the youth?

ORTIZ: I’ve learned the value of silence. If we take a step back and give them the opportunity to fill the space, they will. This also continued to show me the importance of patience and listening. I learned that many youths have experienced trauma and/or may be involved in trauma. Regardless, all youth deserve an opportunity to vent, to share their stories, or to seek advice. Being a good, non-judgmental listener just comes with the territory of working with youth.

SVFREE: Were you surprised by their thoughts about gender, healthy sexual relationships, or bystander intervention?

ORTIZ: No, since our age group varied from 13 to 18, I was expecting varying thoughts about gender, healthy relationships, consent, and bystander intervention. You have the youth with fewer life experiences whose beliefs and thoughts come more from their parents/caregivers and friends and the other youth tend to draw from their personal experiences. Overall, youth are still learning about their sense of self through life experiences, knowledge, and environment while managing societal expectations.

SVFREE: What would you like their parents to know?

ORTIZ: That youth first learn about gender norms, sex, and healthy relationships from what you say and do and they repeat it to others. If you want to help them grow in into adults with healthy relationships, it is important to allow space for open and respectful communication, be okay with being uncomfortable at times, and be supportive.

A Thorn By Any Other Name

Published on April 12, 2018 by Jeenie Yoon

In 2016, the New York Times Magazine published an article called The Forced Heroism of the “Survivor.” Author Parul Sehgal talks about how the term “survivor” has been adopted by people who have experienced incidents of sexual violence and rape as an empowering way to self-identify. The article discusses, however, that not all who have experienced sexual violence may identify as such and how much pressure the word “survivor” can feel to some.

This unexpectedly became a theme in the most recent episode of the Alliance’s podcast, Sex Talk Happy Hour. In the episode, entitled “Healing and Dinosaurs,” I spoke with four women who had all experienced a form of sexual violence. One of the goals of this episode was to help any listener know how they could be supportive of survivors of sexual violence. I phrased the question using these terms, and one response I received was particularly striking.

Paraphrasing, one of our interviewees stated that she identifies as a victim, not a survivor, because sexual violence was something that happened to her, rather than something she “endured.” She states clearly that she completely understands why many use the term “survivor” but that it just is not the term she uses for herself.

It soon became evident that I was not the only one to find this thought striking.

Shortly after the episode aired, one of the other women I had interviewed reached out to me to share that she found this notion to be incredibly eye-opening and empowering. She shared with me that she never felt 100% comfortable with the term “survivor,” but because it is universally accepted, [she] thought that was the only way she could talk about her assault. She shared that while it never felt quite right, she went with it because “I didn’t know there was any other option.” More than that, she shared with me that through thinking about this notion she doesn’t hold either term as a core identity at all. Rather, she describes it as an experience she had as opposed to a personal identifier.

She’s also not the only one to reach out to me about this—multiple friends of mine who have listened to the episode have reached out to share that they had never really thought about another option or term being available for use.

Quickly I realized that we stopped asking how each individual preferred to talk about their experiences. Instead of asking, “Hi, how do you identify when it comes to this experience?” we just started ascribing the term “survivor” (and all its connotations) to every single person who has experienced sexual violence trauma. And in many ways, maybe we do this because it makes us feel more comfortable? Do we use the term “survivor” too widely because we think that’s the term with the least emotional baggage? Are we possibly erasing each person’s individuality? More importantly, are we potentially disempowering those who find that this term does not resonate with them?

From now on, these are the questions I will be asking myself. We cannot pretend to be true allies if we are not willing to step back and realize that ways in which we (even those of us actively working in the movement) might be contributing to a feeling of powerlessness to those who have experienced sexual violence. I for one am humbled by this revelation and am going to actively attempt to rewire my thinking by focusing on each individual’s preferences. I will no longer put the onus on the individual I’m speaking with to correct me with the term(s) they choose to use.

Oscar Night’s #MeToo Moment And More

Published on March 5, 2018 by Teri Rosenberg

Last night, the 90th Academy Awards honored many familiar and not-so-familiar faces in film. Usually, the show is a night to celebrate film, fashion, and unpredictable moments, but this year, the #MeToo movement made room for those in Hollywood to address what’s been in our social consciousness since October, combating sexual assault. It’s what the Alliance has been working hard at for years in our prevention and intervention strategies. It was a night that lent some moments to empower survivors of sexual assault and a call for transparency.

One particular moment that signified the shift in Hollywood, was when actresses Ashley Judd, Annabella Sciorra, and Salma Hayek gathered on stage to introduce the new voices in Hollywood package, which acted as a powerful platform to reinvigorate the crowd and those at home, with the message of Time’s Up. The three women, who spoke out against producer Harvey Weinstein, stood together in unity.

“We will work together to make sure that the next 90 years empower these limitless possibilities of equality, diversity, inclusion, intersectionality,” said Judd. “That’s what this year has promised us.”

But the conversation doesn’t end at the Academy Awards. It continues through many different platforms, programs, and strategies outlined by the Alliance. Our most recent endeavor is the podcast Sex Talk Happy Hour. For our first episode, the Alliance Senior Campus Coordinator Jeenie Yoon spoke with Film/TV critic Candice Frederick to discuss how film looks at sexuality and the treatment of women.

Here are a few topic highlights:

Nudity and the double standard on screen.

How sex is mixed with violence in film.

How sitcoms focus on unrequited love by trying to turn an absolute “no” into a “yes.”

MPAA’s issue with showing female pleasure on screen

Female empowerment built on violence

Interested in learning more about these topics? Listen to our first episode here.

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault Launches The Sex Talk Happy Hour Podcast

Published on March 2, 2018 by Teri Rosenberg

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault just launched its very first episode of our podcast “Sex Talk Happy Hour.” Join The Alliance’s own Jeenie Yoon (Senior Campus Sexual Assault Coordinator) as she speaks with this month’s special guest, film/TV critic Candice Frederick on how sex is portrayed in film, including nudity on the big screen, consent, and contraception.

Pointing A Lens On Sexual Assault: The Films That Got It Wrong And Those That Got It Right

Published on February 16, 2018 by Niki Cruz

[Trigger warning – some content may be sensitive to read]

From almost the beginning of film, with the 1915 The Birth of a Nation, rape as a functioning story, has been appropriated. In some scenarios, rape is used as a perfunctory tool to give power to assailants. In other instances, rape is used to titillate the viewer and instead of showing the emotional and physical turmoil and the effects of PTSD, survivors are framed by the male gaze. What exactly does this mean? It means if you see a woman raped, it’s usually to show off her body, in a way that allows the viewer to be in the position of a spectator as if the act in itself is a sport. This function of storytelling also exists in television, as we’ve seen this used in Game of Thrones.

Director and writer Jessica M. Thompson, said it best, when she spoke to us about her enlightening film The Light of The Moon, “I was getting really frustrated with the way sexual assault was being portrayed in films and television, including some of my favorite TV shows like Game of Thrones. The way they portray rape on that show is horrifying. For one, it’s gratuitous and it’s way too much. It’s like they’re almost filming it for the male audience to sexualize it and to revictimize these victims. It’s not following the women’s narrative at all.”

A third “popular” way cinema likes to skew sexual assault away from how a survivor processes trauma is through the false narrative that following a traumatic rape, the survivor can just pick him or herself up and seek revenge on the perpetrator. This is another harmful view that does nothing to uplift a survivor looking to see their real experiences portrayed on the big screen.

We can’t continue to sanitize these harmful images and normalize them when it comes to survivors of sexual assault. In an industry that’s been rocked with the conversation of sexual assault, we wanted to lead up to the Oscars broadcast by discussing these different depictions of sexual assault, in an effort to hold those in power accountable. We also want to empower those who continue to get this polarizing subject right.

Films that get it wrong

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Film: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Director: David Fincher

Plot: Based on the novel by Stieg Larsson, a journalist Mikael Blomkvist sets out on a journey to uncover the mysterious disappearance of computer hacker, Lisabeth Salander (Rooney Mara).

Why It Doesn’t Work: One of the worst offenses of how some films handle rape is how it fetishizes the bodies of women. The scene in question is uncomfortably long without a purpose and shows unnecessary shots of Salander’s body. While some films spend time focusing on a rape scene so it can give the viewers a deep understanding of how it feels to be violated, Fincher’s dark blockbuster seems to almost glamorize the rape of Lisabeth Salander, in the way the scene is shot and focused on her body in an overly stylized way that does more damage to Lisabeth’s experience. The violence is so extreme that it feels gratuitous and salacious.

The Kill Bill Series

Film: The Kill Bill Series

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Plot: The series follows The Bride aka Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman) as she seeks revenge on the people that murdered her friends, her husband to be, and her own assailants.

Why It Doesn’t Work: Once touted as a feminist enthusiast, Tarantino’s pulpy blood-obsessed work seems stale here. Yes, Uma Thurman, as The Bride kicks some serious butt, but it’s also a harmful narrative for survivors who are just looking for answers on how to cope from their attack. The rape revenge narrative is a nice fantasy but it’s not reflective in a real survivor’s experience. It’s very rare when a survivor’s assailant is brought to justice in a court of law, nevermind at their own hands. Women of color are also treated horrifically, as they experience gruesome violence in the film and are relegated to stereotypes in their speech affectations, something that Tarantino has been accused of in the past.

The Birth of a Nation

Film: The Birth of a Nation

Director: Nate Parker

Plot:A true story about, Nat Turner, an illiterate slave and preacher who leads the uprising of slaves in Virginia.

Why It Doesn’t Work:While 12 Years a Slave focused on rape to share the enormous pain experienced by slaves, Parker uses two rapes irresponsibly, adding nothing to the story. Parker shows a scene where the guest of Nat’s master, Samuel (Armie Hammer) requests Esther (Gabrielle Union). It’s merely alluded that she’s sexually assaulted in his request. In another scene Cherry (Aja Naomi King), Nat’s wife, is raped. Both of these rapes take place off screen, acting as an afterthought, and thus continuing the harmful way cinema treats rape. But when it comes to the violence in the film, especially the rebellion, that’s shown in an animalistic way, instead of being pushed under the rug as rape is here. Both Cherry and Esther’s rapes seemed to come with minimal reaction from the other characters most important to them.

A Clockwork Orange

Film: A Clockwork Orange

Director: Stanley Kubrick

Plot:A story set in the future, centers on deviant Alex (Malcolm McDowell) and his insidious gang as they get up to violent “hijinks”. Once jailed, for violently killing the Cat Lady, Alex undergoes “behavior modification” in exchange for his freedom.

Why It Doesn’t Work: Throughout the film, women are used as props to commit violence and torture against. In an interview, director Stanley Kubrick expressed that the main character, “represents the id, the savage repressed side of our nature which guiltlessly enjoys the pleasures of rape.” Showing violence of any kind against women without having it aid to a woman’s emotional and physical experience doesn’t do anything to uplift women or allow for a discussion about the lasting effects of rape. These characters that endure the sadistic behavior by Alex and his “droogs” are forgotten, and that’s an injustice.

Revenge of The Nerds

Film: Revenge of The Nerds

Director: Jeff Kanaw

Plot:In this self-described coming of age comedy, a group of freshman nerds and outcasts seek revenge out on the fraternity who bullies them throughout the semester to gain a sense of peace in their college years.

Why It Doesn’t Work:In this film, small exchanges between the outcasts often degrade women and their appetite or lack of appetite for sex. Women in this film, mainly the sorority girls, are treated like desirable objects to obtain and nothing more. At every turn, their privacy is being violated, and what’s worse is that it’s played for laughs. The nerds hide cameras to watch the women in stages of undress without their knowledge. In a later scene, lead nerd Lewis (Robert Carradine) disguises himself and then tricks Betty, Stan’s girlfriend, into having sex with him. When she realizes it’s Lewis, she’s delightfully intrigued by his sexual prowess. In a normal situation, a woman would feel violated and mortified. This film certainly didn’t age well, in fact, it’s astounding this 80s film was green lit in the first place.

Films That Get It Right

The Light of The Moon

Film: The Light of The Moon

Director: Jessica M. Thompson

Plot: Bonnie (Stephanie Beatriz) is an assertive and confident Latin woman, who has a great career, a stable relationship with her boyfriend Matt (Michael Stahl-David), and strong friendships. In one night, her ground is ripped from underneath her when she’s sexually assaulted while walking home from a club in Brooklyn.

Why It Works: The film brings an awareness of how it affects a survivor’s inner perception and the relationships they’ve forged with the people they know best. Due to the carefully crafted storytelling, the viewer gets to see the emotional turmoil someone goes through after an assault and the hardships as Thompson highlights the lack of answers given by various systems in power.

Spotlight

Film: Spotlight

Director: Tom McCarthy

Plot: The film focuses its lens on the team of reporters from the Boston Globe and their investigation into the massive cover-up of child molestation by the Catholic Archdiocese. By highlighting the facts behind this true life story, McCarthy frames the survivors in an honest light.

Why It Works: The cover up by the Catholic Archdiocese went back decades. McCarthy and co-writer Josh Singer unpacked just how the Archdiocese was able to cover up these horrible acts, by showing just how easy it was to place the offending priests in different parishes while using false statements for the reason of the removal of their current placement. On the other side of the story, is an honest narrative of how sex offenders groom their victims, and how through this process they can use their trust and bolster their power to intimidate their victims into years, sometimes decades of silence.

Precious

Film: Precious

Director: Lee Daniels

Plot: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, Precious is a story about a teen girl (Gabourey Sidibe) who lives below the poverty line in Harlem with her verbally and physically abusive mother. She’s pregnant with her father’s second child and can’t read or write.When she has the opportunity to transfer to an alternative school, she sees some hope for a better future and slowly begins to turn her life around with the help of her new mentors.

Why It Works: In the film, Daniels shows the extreme physical and emotional abuse Precious endures from her mother, and her father. Throughout the film, the impact of Precious’ harmful environment is shown by how she sees herself as an individual and how hard it is for her to accept love from people who do care for her. While showing the abuse she endures, Daniels uses one of the reflex responses a survivor can go through. Precious copes through her episodes of sexual and physical assault by mentally exiting the situation, as she daydreams about being on a runway, adored and celebrated. What the viewer is seeing is how sexual assault can trigger tonic immobility, otherwise known as involuntary paralysis.

Boys Don’t Cry

Film: Boys Don’t Cry

Director: Kimberly Peirce

Plot: Boys Don’t Cry is a true story about a young trans man Brendon Teena (Hilary Swank) discovering his true identity and finding his first love in Nebraska. The story takes a horrifyingly tragic turn that still resonates with today’s LGBT youth, as Brendon was raped and later murdered by two acquaintances after they found out he was born a woman.

Why It Works: Trans youth are at greater risk for being sexually assaulted so the raw telling of this true story was a great service to LGBTQ community, especially in the late 90s when public consciousness about transgender issues wasn’t what it is today. The scene of the rape is brutal and the terse questioning Brandon endures by the sheriff afterward shows how some law enforcement lack training in conversing with survivors, and even more so when it comes to reporting the rape of an LGBT person. The film used direct transcripts of the questioning by the sheriff. Throughout the questioning, the sheriff undermines Brandon’s story and calls him “it.” In the end, it showed just how negligent the system can be with survivors, and how the Richardson County sheriff failed to protect Brandon from his two assaulters.

12 Years a Slave

Film: 12 Years a Slave

Director: Steve McQueen

Plot: Based on the experiences of slave Solomon Northup (Chewitel Ejiofor), 12 Years a Slave is a brutal look at slavery and the lives affected by the harrowing experiences endured. A once free man, Northup was kidnapped and sold into slavery and eventually landed in the house belonging to Edwin Epps.

Why It Works: One facet of slavery that’s usually pushed under the rug is the sexual violence endured by many black women at the hands of their masters. Many were used for sexual gratification, so owners could continue to exert their power. In 12 Years a Slave, McQueen’s strength as a director comes in the form of showing rape culture and its place in slavery through Patsey (Lupita Nyong’o), a woman enslaved to Edwin Epps. Because of his obsession with Patsey, Epps’ wife physically took out her displeasure on her as well. Patsey’s story was essential to the observations by fellow slave Solomon Northup and McQueen’s emotional crux.

The Aziz Ansari Case: Making Sense Of A Grey Matter

Published on January 17, 2018 by Niki Cruz

[Image by Netflix]

Over the weekend, actor-writer-comedian and self-described feminist, Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual assault. This accusation came after the Modern Romance author wore a Time’s Up pin at the Golden Globes. His anonymous accuser, “Grace” told Babe, that seeing him win an award for his series Master of None, was the moment that started a new fire and made her come forward. She described the night she went out on a date with Ansari as the “worst night” of her life. Of the experience, she said, “I believe that I was taken advantage of by Aziz. I was not listened to and ignored. It was by far the worst experience with a man I’ve ever had.”

She went on to describe how Ansari was eager to leave the restaurant and asked for the check. The two went back to his apartment for the second time and that’s where the date went awry. After complimenting his countertops, Ansari went forward with sexual advances. In the moment, Grace says she was uncomfortable by how quickly things were escalating. After he mentioned getting a condom, Grace explicitly told him, “Let’s relax for a sec. Let’s chill.” Instead, Ansari continued kissing and “briefly performed oral sex on her.” Grace said Ansari pulled her hand on his genitals even though she gave non-verbal cues that she wasn’t comfortable by taking her hand away. According to Grace, who was 22-year-old at the time, he tried this five to seven times.

Grace said she spent 30 minutes moving away from Ansari as he followed her throughout his apartment while trying to advance with her physically. “Most of my discomfort was expressed in me pulling away and mumbling. I know that my hand stopped moving at some points,” she said. “I stopped moving my lips and turned cold.”

The backlash that’s ensued against this particular case, suggests that some people still think of this kind of interaction as a horribly awkward sexual encounter gone wrong and nothing more. Although it seems like 2018 is a new dawn when it comes to confronting sexual assault, this isn’t a new conversation for organizations like The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, as we’ve been leading the charge in changing the way people think and talk about sexual assault by interacting with the public at large. That in mind, prior to the reckoning of Harvey Weinstein,society’s response to sexual assault, was at best, murky. As it turns out, this is still a work in progress when it comes to accepting that toxic behavior has been normalized and desperately needs a closer look when discussing this topic. Even with the hyper-awareness around sexual assault, it’s hard to distinguish how the #MeToo and now the #TimesUp movement, will provide longterm lessons beyond these harrowing stories.

It’s important to realize that all areas of sexually inappropriate behavior—whether the perpetrator is aware they’re committing such microaggressions—exists in the same harmful space no matter the severity. To deny this is to allow society to look the other way when rape happens and gives people permission to frame anything under the “boys will be boys” mentality, which can cause harm in many ways. We’re seeing this happen in a court of law as well, where perpetrators are not being held accountable, and if they are, it’s the equivalent to spending three months out of a six-month sentence in jail.

In this particular case, public outcry has mostly been in favor of Aziz Ansari because “Grace” didn’t point out a moment in her story where she said the word “No.” But when we look at the power dynamics between Aziz and “Grace”, it’s easy to see why a young, impressionable woman, wouldn’t know how to use her sexual agency to explicitly verbalize the word “no” to a man like Aziz Ansari, who not only has clout in the entertainment industry but is known as a favorite “woke bae.” Imagine trying to find a way to say “no” to the man who wrote a dating book all of your friends are raving about during brunch? Or saying, “no” to the man who gave younger millennials a new vernacular? This is a man who was adored by Grace’s generation and she knew it, as she herself stated, she was excited. Aziz was in the driver’s seat from the start, he picked the location of the date, the wine, and even the dress code.

This Aziz Ansari story seems to be a very grey area if we are to be completely honest with ourselves. Is this just an awkward date or is this sexual assault? This is a honest question that I am asking.

In an interview for 60 Minutes, Oprah sat down with entertainment attorney Nina Shaw; and actresses America Ferrera, Natalie Portman, Tracee Ellis Ross and Reese Witherspoon to discuss the complexities of this conversation. At one point, she stated, “People are afraid to say there’s a difference between inappropriate behavior, inappropriate comments, and sexual assault, and sexual predators, and rape. There is a difference.”

Black-ish star Tracee Ellis Ross explained a talking point that The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault knows well:

“There is a difference, but one part of it supports the other. There is an understanding of consent and respect that I think has gotten very confused in our culture that has set up a space that can make all of that, happen.”

“Plenty of women — women who have had experiences ranging from catcalls to coercion to violent abuse — can differentiate catcalls and coercion and violent abuse in their minds. We know that a grope isn’t a rape. We’re just sick and tired of acting like we’re supposed to be grateful when a grope isn’t a rape.”

While some people find the case against Aziz Ansari hard to swallow, be it his popularity in our culture, the role his work takes in discussing gender politics or something else entirely, it’s easy to agree “Time’s Up” on silence but what do we do with this awakening? As for the media’s polarizing reactions to the Aziz Ansari’s case, there’s still room to learn if we freeze the clock on Grace’s particular experience. If anything, this instance has shed a light that society has conflating ideas on consent.

Here are some things to keep in mind when thinking about consent.

Liquor is not a bargaining tool for sex:

If you think pouring one more drink to turn a no into a yes is consent, then you’re mistaken. Any type of coercion is considered rape.

Consent is not always verbal:

It is true that not everybody is vocal or likely to explicitly say ‘yes’ throughout a sexual interaction. This is why it is important to check in with your partner/s about their communication style, what they feel comfortable with, and even how best to check in with them during sex.

If you don’t feel physical intimacy reciprocated you need to stop:

One of the articles in defense of Aziz is titled “Aziz Ansari is guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader” and sure, he’s not a mind reader, so with that in mind, if the other person isn’t physically or vocally enthusiastic, you can’t assume that they’re just shy. You need to stop all activity if the other person doesn’t seem enthusiastic. It’s the perfect opportunity to stop and ask, “Are you not enjoying this? Are you uncomfortable?”

Consent does not ruin a moment:

The idea that asking for or expecting consent will ruin the moment is a product of the harmful and often sexist media and culture that we are exposed to.

Consent should be talked about beforehand:

Some examples of phrases to use:

What do you want to do?

What feels good to you?

How does x make you feel?

I’d love to try x with you

Could you do x to me, I really like that

Consent isn’t just practiced by people in the hookup culture:

Consent is needed with a long-term partner. Consent can be withdrawn at any time and has to be given to each sexual act. This means that with a new partner communication about boundaries and intentions is critical as you may not be able to pick up on their signs well. A long-term partner can still deny consent or choose not to have sex at any time, so it is important to give and get consent always!

In Conversation With The Light of the Moon Director/Writer Jessica M. Thompson

Published on October 27, 2017 by Niki Cruz

For the film The Light of the Moon, Director/Writer Jessica M. Thompson has crafted an intimate look into sexual assault. Bonnie (Stephanie Beatriz) is an assertive and confident Latin woman, who has a great career, a stable relationship with her boyfriend Matt (Michael Stahl-David), and strong friendships. In one night, her ground is ripped from underneath her when she’s sexually assaulted while walking home from a club in Brooklyn.

This particular depiction of a survivor is one we rarely see portrayed in the media. Unlike other films, this complex portrait doesn’t focus its lens on the rape itself or empowers the victim with a disingenuous revenge story, but instead, brings an awareness of what a victim goes through after she experiences rape, and how it affects her inner perception of herself and the relationships she forged with the people she knows best.

This narrative is thoughtfully crafted by Thompson in the way she beautifully constructed the emotional turmoil someone goes through after an assault and the hardships and lack of answers given by various systems in power.

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault spoke with Jessica M. Thompson about this important story.

*****

Jessica M. Thompson directs Michael Stahl-David

With cases like Brock Turner, and now the light shining down on the film industry, it seems like in the last few years the media is ready to provide an outlet for this difficult conversation. When you first started developing this project, was that the case?

This is what’s crazy — with every turn of events, I thought, “There’s no better time than right now.” The Brock Turner case came out on day one of production. The cast and crew all sat around and read the victim’s statement and it really affirmed that we were doing this for the right reasons and that this story really needed to be out there.

It was Brock Turner, then Donald Trump, and now Harvey Weinstein. It just keeps on getting more and more relevant. Now, I do finally feel that the lid has been taken off and the media is really ready to talk about this issue in a truthful and honest way.

There are movies out there that focus on a revenge story after a victim is assaulted. That never feels like a genuine narrative. Your film is incredibly different in the way it approaches trauma. How was your process writing this story in terms of the content? I know this is loosely based on your friend’s own story of sexual assault.

I had this idea boiling in the back of my mind. I was also getting really frustrated with the way sexual assault was being portrayed in films and television, including some of my favorite TV shows like Game of Thrones. The way they portray rape on that show is horrifying. For one, it’s gratuitous and it’s way too much and sometimes I feel like they’re filming it for the..

The male gaze?

Yes! It’s like they’re almost filming it for the male audience to sexualize it and to revictimize these victims. It’s not following the women’s narrative at all. So, I would think about these films and shows written and directed by men and that was in the back of my mind. Then when this happened to my friend I felt compelled to write a story that is written and directed by a woman and that also has cinematography by a woman so that there’s literally no male gaze.

In the very beginning of the film, Bonnie is asked, “What did he take away from you?” And then we see in the film just what her attacker takes away in how she’s affected. How was it fleshing that out?

So many women I spoke to said the first thing the authorities say to them, sticks with them. Out of all the survivors, I spoke with only one had a positive authority figure. I don’t want to bash the NYPD but it’s alarming to me. Usually, they say the completely wrong thing and that can revictimize someone. It’s exactly what you said, and you picked up on it very well the, “What did he take?” She’s trying so hard to let her attacker take nothing. She’s trying so hard to deny it but we all know that’s not how trauma works. We see that he’s taken her confidence, her relationships, the safety of her house and community. It goes through and through every aspect of her life. I improv’d a lot of the writing so that’s how I would get to those places. I improv around a theme, a topic, or a line, and I’d eventually get to that point.

I’ve never seen a film showcase how sexual assault affects relationships. Did you always want to include that aspect?

That was always the main impotence. Seeing my friend and her boyfriend and how they tried to renavigate that. Your partner has to navigate this with you, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how those conversations looked. It’s the ripple effect of how this affects the victims and the people around them, their friends, families, partners and work relationships. It doesn’t just affect one person.

The scene where Bonnie gets assaulted is, from a technical aspect, done really well. You were able to show the intimacy and the invasion of that moment. It’s really brutal in a way that’s necessary. Were you worried about triggering victims?

I was. I went back and forth for a long time about whether I should show it or not. The way the cinematographer [Autumn Eakin] and I spoke about it was that it was always going to be focused on just her face. That it would always zoom in as if we were in her mind. We worked very hard on the sound design to get that effect of her pulling in and out of her mind. From my research, a lot of survivors go through this survival instinct where they kind of pull themselves out of their body. I really wanted to capture that. It wasn’t focused on sexualizing [the rape] in any way.

Still, I really went back and forth about showing it because of what you said. We did a lot of test screenings and I felt that people were not being as empathetic. I did want to reach a male audience and I think people wanted to see it in order to empathize with how she reacts to it. She’s in denial and lashes out at her boyfriend. It seemed like people weren’t on her journey as much when they didn’t see that scene.

I like how at one point it’s suggested that she could’ve been stalked at the nightclub and then later on attacked. With The Alliance’s program Nightlife, they actually go into clubs and nightlife spaces to train bouncers and bartenders so they’re attuned to this behavior.

Yes, I went to one of your events, the September Soiree, and that was the first time I heard about that. I think it’s an incredible initiative. The one time my drink got spiked was by the bartender. I remember blaming myself and saying, “But I held my drink? How did this happen?” But I think it’s incredible to get bartenders and bouncers to be aware of it.

With the uptick in the media’s involvement in the conversation about sexual assault and rape, and the social responsibility we have from campaigns like MeToo, what do you hope for the future?

Through powerful figures in the media like Harvey Weinstein, they use their power to force silence around the issue. I wanted the film to create dialogue. I feel like we can make a change from the power of film. Art has a big role to play in that. I should say that The Weinstein Company was interested in buying us for distribution but we knew the rumors and we knew that we were never going to go with them.

Right now I feel a lot of hope that we are empowering people. I’ve seen 50 women come forward and feel that solidarity in numbers saying, “Even if you judge us, we’re all in this together.” The lid is off and now is our time to stand forward and put a stop to this. I feel like we really turned a corner and I’m excited to see what society does with it.

The Light of the Moon opens November 1st.

Project DOT: The Breakdown Of Our Youth Messages Part 3

Published on October 17, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

As part of Project DOT’s prevention initiative, mentors set out to underserved communities in New York City to discuss important topics that older children and teens aren’t talking about enough at home and in formal settings. In order to engage in language and ideas that children and teens are thinking about and actively dealing with on a day to day basis, youth leaders focused on healthy relationships, the bystander intervention, and consent.

During a series of workshops, the kids expressed their thoughts through artwork and various other activities on situations they’ve encountered. Below kids and teens in the South Asian community detailed the messages they want people to know they’re actively thinking about.

Consent

The message:

#Everybodytoldme that henny get the body flowing, but #nobodytoldme that trying to have sex when my date is drunk and cannot consent is rape.

The Breakdown:

Consent should be cut and dry. If your partner doesn’t say “yes” to sex, then you shouldn’t have sex, right? Right. However, did you know if you still get a verbal confirmation from the other person that doesn’t mean they gave you their consent?

If there’s alcohol involved, the person you’re having sex with may not be cognizant enough to consent to sex, which means, if you hear your lover or “friend” mumble what might sound like consent it doesn’t count. In fact, going forward with sex despite your partner’s inebriation is a violation of their rights and privacy.

If someone does decide to go forward despite their partner’s state of mind, it’s considered rape and as we know, that comes with huge repercussions.

Bystander

The message:

#Everybodytoldme to mind my own business, but #Nobodytoldme that as a young person my voice matters when I see someone getting abused

The Breakdown:

As kids, we’re told by adults to mind our own business. If you’re lucky, there will be one person that tells you to ask questions and to intervene when you see fit, and that’s only part of what it takes to be a bystander.

The first part is recognizing a potentially dangerous situation. This might prove to be particularly difficult because a bystander isn’t usually directly involved until they act, so it’s important to have skills that will allow you to analyze a situation from afar before you intervene. The next step is identifying whether or not you will need more people behind you to intervene. If getting involved is beyond your capabilities, whether that’s because it’s too dangerous of a situation or you’re simply not comfortable, there are always alternative options such as calling for help. Just that simple action may de-escalate a situation completely.

Healthy Relationships

The message:

#Everybodytoldme apologizing was key but #NobodyToldMe told me that threats of leaving aren’t the same as love

The Breakdown:

One of the key signs you’re in a healthy relationship is that there’s strong communication on both sides. That way, when it comes to apologizing, neither you nor your loved one will have a problem with owning up to your mistakes and/or flaws. That said, sometimes apologizing isn’t a cure all. Apologizing just isn’t enough if you’re in a dangerous situation.

If you’re being abused whether it’s physically or verbally, you can’t take your partner’s apology as confirmation that this won’t happen again. Any form of abuse is a cycle that continues in some form, even if you don’t recognize it as abuse. Threats of leaving are just one way a partner can manipulate their lover into staying with them. It’s also a huge power play that solidifies that person as someone who has dominance in the relationship. This isn’t a sign that your partner loves you, it’s a sign that they want to own you.

Project DOT: What The Program Means To The Youth

Published on October 16, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

We spoke about the Project DOT program. Here’s what the program means to the youth.

Project DOT: The Do’s And The Don’ts Of A Healthy Relationship

Published on by Teri Rosenberg

As part of one of the workshops that the Alliance started through Project DOT, the
kids and teens from the South Asian community created art around messaging
behind healthy relationships. Here are a few sentiments the kids came up with on
what a healthy relationship looks like VS an unhealthy relationship.

You can see some more youth created messages around consent, bystander
intervention, and healthy relationships on our social media pages.

For more about Project DOT check us out on social media.

Project DOT: The Breakdown Of Our Youth Messages Part 2

Published on October 10, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

As part of Project DOT’s prevention initiative, mentors set out to underserved communities in New York City to discuss important topics that older children and teens aren’t talking about enough at home and in formal settings. In order to engage in language and ideas that children and teens are thinking about and actively dealing with on a day to day basis, youth leaders focused on healthy relationships, the bystander effect, and consent.

During a series of workshops the kids expressed their thoughts through artwork, and various other activities on situations they’ve encountered. Below kids and teens in the Latinx community detailed the messages they want people to know they’re actively thinking about.

Consent

The Message:

#Everybodytoldme rough sex is wavy, but #nobodytoldme to check in with my baby. #Communicationiskey

The Breakdown

Rough sex may be talked up in pop songs as the best thing about sex but everyone doesn’t like it rough. Rough sex might be your thing but it might not be your partner’s. Keep in mind that sex feels and looks different on everyone. Even if your partner doesn’t vocalize that they don’t like rough sex, doesn’t mean they’re enjoying it. Try to be perceptive and read body language during sex. Most importantly, check in verbally so you know for sure what they like before, during and after.

Bystander

The Message:

#Everybodytoldme to mind my business but #Nobodytoldme that I can distract my friend and take them out of a situation where they’re facing public abuse

The Breakdown

There’s only one “d” in the bystander effect but did you know there’s actually three d’s? In order to overcome being a bystander in a potentially dangerous situation and provide support in an intervention you should keep in mind the three d’s:

Direct – Give commands or orders

Distract – Divert a friend’s attention from a harmful situation

Delegate – Get the attention of someone else to intervene in a situation.

This message created by the youth identifies with the second “d” — distract. For instance, if you’re walking down the street and realize your friend is being catcalled by a someone this should immediately raise a red flag in your mind as a potentially abusive situation as they’re being harassed by someone.

Some might still think this behavior is accepted as a form of a compliment but today we recognize this as abusive behavior, especially if these comments aren’t received well by the person they’re directed at. It’s important to know you can use your voice to distract your friend from the cat caller by starting up a conversation which would drown out the abusive voice.

Pro-tip: It doesn’t even have to be your friend. If you see someone in need of rescuing from cat calls, you can step in and pretend as though you know the person just so they’re saved from the situation.

Healthy Relationships

The Message:

#Everybodytoldme jealousy isn’t the same as love but #nobodytoldme. your apology doesn’t count if you keep doing the same thing to me.

The Breakdown

Some people may think because their partner is possessive over them that means their boyfriend or girlfriend “loves harder” or that their love/bond is stronger because of it. This particular exhibit of controlling behavior is actually a form of abuse and someone who’s on the receiving end of it may not have a clue.

What most people don’t realize is after time they get so conditioned to receiving one type of emotional response that their brain rationalizes this behavior. What outsiders may define as jealousy or a possessive nature, those who are in a relationship sometimes don’t have the ability to recognize that they’re in an unhealthy relationship until they feel trapped.

The Alliance teaches the youth signs to recognize and identify by engaging them in conversation and community mobilization efforts. Remember, having the tools and know-all is just half the battle of getting out of an unhealthy relationship. The other half is having the courage to ask for help.

For more about Project DOT check us out on social media.

Project DOT: WHAT DOES A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP LOOK LIKE?

Published on by Teri Rosenberg

As part of our Project DOT campaign, Denys Salas, the Assistant Director for Voces Latina gave our youth some tips about what it looks like to be in a healthy relationship.

Project DOT: In Conversation With Adriana Lopez

Published on October 9, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

Project DOT (Dream. Own. Tell.) is a sexual assault prevention program for kids and teens that aims to engage youth in discussions about healthy relationships, consent, and the importance of being an active bystander to end sexual violence.

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault has worked in partnership with community-based organizations to ensure children and teens from underserved communities have a safe space to talk about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality. Through workshops and community mobilization activities, youth mentors instill positive messages about sexuality, gender roles, self-esteem, etc. as a way of counteracting the culture of violence we are exposed to in our daily lives.

As part of our social media campaign for the Latinx week, we sat down with Adriana Lopez to get an inside look of how Project DOT served the Latinx community. Ms. Lopez is the New York City Alliance’s Senior Prevention Coordinator and has a big role in the development area of this particular program.

SVFREE: In your words, how would you describe Project DOT?

LOPEZ: It’s a program that focuses on helping youth learn skills to develop healthy relationships and have a healthy sexuality.

SVFREE: Can you give us a background with how this program began?

LOPEZ: Sure! The program itself started three years ago. There’s been, so far, three groups that went on last year a Latinx, Black and a South Asian youth group. A lot of the feedback we received from youth [is that] this information needed to go beyond the people who were attending the workshops. So, we decided to add another component, which was the community mobilization activities. This year we’ve completed another three groups in the same communities, and we are excited to see how youth have mobilized and taken these activities to their own communities.

LOPEZ: It depends on the group. In terms of the Latinx youth group I worked with this year – we discussed how we learn in school about science, math, and history but we don’t really learn how to resolve conflict, or how to recognize the red flags in abusive relationships, or how to build healthy ones. We know part of it is about communicating well, building healthy identities and a healthy self-esteem. Youth really appreciated that these topics were a part of the conversation.

We also discussed how part of how we build our expectations about what relationships should look like, is based on the messages we receive from our immediate community, and the role media plays a role in perpetuating a culture of violence. Thinking critically about this was a very important part of the process and something that youth enjoyed because they realize we are all always engaging with popular culture. They found it cool to sit down and look at some of the songs that they’ve been listening to and think about what the lyrics actually meant.

SVFREE: Where do you fit into Project DOT as a Senior Prevention Coordinator?

LOPEZ: Part of it has been to help develop and enhance the curriculum we use in our workshops and include content that reflects the needs of our youth groups. We learned a lot from the first round we did last year and we incorporated more information that focused on intersectionality. We broke down gender roles, [specifically] how rigid gender roles might contribute to gender-based violence.

We also expanded our sections, which focused on media analysis and how that impacts or promotes gender race violence; and I spend a lot of time nurturing our partnerships with community-based organizations, so we can co-facilitate workshops, and help plan community mobilization activities with youth.

SVFREE: In terms of Project DOT, what do the prevention and community mobilization activities look like with youth?

LOPEZ: That’s a really good question. There’s a lot of knowledge building and skill building that focuses on communication, leadership and analytical thinking. One activity youth completed was a radio interview through the Just As I Am youth group. [While on the radio show, youth] talked about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality and what that looks like in the Black community.

Our Latinx youth group from Voces Latinas in Queens [completed] a presentation to parents and community leaders about the importance of engaging adults in a conversation about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality. [During the presentation] youth [discussed] a lot of the information they’ve learned during the workshops. Through a community mapping activity they did in our workshops, they discussed the strengths they saw in their community that could help them overcome violence and the places that they felt they could go to find support if they are experiencing teen dating violence and sexual violence.

SVFREE: What about Project DOT are you particularly impressed by?

LOPEZ: One of the things I am taking away from doing several of these workshops is that often as adults we underestimate how much youth know about their own needs and their ideas about how to resolve the issues that we’re talking about in our workshops. As adults, we forget at times to create a space to be able to have these conversations with youth. However, when we engage them it’s in a genuine and authentic way. They’re very open about how they think we should be solving these issues.

During our workshops, youth shared with us that sometimes adults will say to them “what do you know about sex and dating, you’re not even supposed to be in a relationship in the first place.” but they’re much more aware than we give them credit for. They are not passive agents and shouldn’t be seen as one in this conversation.

SVFREE: What kind of an impact do you hope will Project DOT create within these communities?

LOPEZ: At the end of the day, much of what we talked about with the youth we are working with, was about developing a healthy self-esteem and learning about how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. In our discussions, we realized that sometimes youth aren’t able to recognize behaviors that are unhealthy. So it’s important to talk about what that looks like, and empower youth to know and voice boundaries, so that it can help them build healthier relationships in the long term.

For more about Project DOT check us out on social media.

In Conversation With The Rape of Recy Taylor Director Nancy Buirski

Published on October 4, 2017 by Niki Cruz

Many victims of rape are painfully silenced after their assault but for Black women, young and old, the ties of systemic racism in our country run parallel to their silence. It dates back to slavery where white men had “their pick” of black women and had sex with them against their will. Many Black women were seen as an “other” to the human race in the eyes of men who had power. This ideology of owning someone and the implications of what this meant, permeates our culture today.

The documentary, The Rape of Recy Taylor by director Nancy Buirski, which is playing at the New York Film Festival, examines the important role race has in rape and one woman’s courage to voice the violent act that occurred when six white boys surrounded her like vultures and gang-raped her. Taylor never received any justice, and despite identifying her assailants and the boys fessing up to the egregious attack, nothing was done. Despite this injustice, Ms. Taylor’s legacy and her will to be outspoken about this six-decade crime endures.

The Alliance sat down with director Nancy Buirski to speak about Recy’s courage and how we can better intervene in healing victims of assault.

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SVFREE: I heard a social worker who works with the Alliance is coming to one of the screenings.

Yes. We’re going to try to set that up for every screening where it’s possible. We hope that this film will be comforting in some ways to people who have gone through this experience, and who might be inspired by Recy Taylor’s courage. We also know that this is a heavy subject for many, and some people may need to talk about it so that’s how we felt going into it.

SVFREE: It’s a very important time to have this discussion given how rampant assault is and the conversation the film industry is having about sexism and abuse that’s going on.

That’s a great point. I’ve kind of been thinking about rape on college campuses and the incredible ubiquity of it around the world as a form of terrorism. I’ve been reading about what’s been going on in the industry but somehow I wasn’t making the kind of connection I should have, and I’m glad you brought that up.

SVFREE: Throughout your career, the through line has been dedicated to social injustices. There’s a lack of exposure to most of these injustices. Is that part of your interest?

Yes. The fact that both The Loving Story and Loving the feature film that came out, they all represent hidden stories. Stories that have been really important to the African American community but not as widely known as I thought they should be. Also, it’s the kind of woman that’s at the center of these stories. They were not activists, and their lives were not set up to change the world. They found themselves in these terrible situations where they felt like they had no choice but to speak up and be honest and forthright. I consider them very noble for that reason. We are even seeing this today from people who find themselves being called on to behave in ways where they never thought they had to.

SVFREE: At the Alliance, we work with minority groups, especially the youth, with a series of programs geared towards prevention. Our most recent is called Project DOT. Your film highlights how high the rate is for women of color. We know that 40% of Black women report coercive contact of a sexual nature by age 18. Were you surprised with how common this is for women of color?

As soon as I began to realize the connection to slavery and plantation life, it was no longer a surprise. I was just very sad because I recognize that this is the legacy, with the way our country felt that it was okay to treat Black women. To a certain extent that continues today. I think it’s very important to address it and understand what the roots are.

SVFREE: What would you like to see happen in working with victims

First of all, for them to feel support, love, and safety that comes from a community that cares about them. I think it takes the very active resistance from this kind of behavior. Anybody that commits this type of act needs to be not only be prosecuted but there has to be shame that goes along with it so our community supports women who survive it and we criminalize this action across the board.

There’s this kind of “attacking the victim” syndrome that we go through. Women feel like they have to defend themselves and “prove” that they were sober or “wearing the right clothes.” You don’t ask someone whose home has been burglarized or if they’ve been assaulted on the street, whether they’ve been drinking. Why is this crime any different? There needs to be a more public conversation about the way rape is treated. It’s one of the reasons why we use rape in our title. Recy Taylor called it what it was. She accused her attacker and we felt it was really important to get this out and to have a conversation.

SVFREE: Recy had the courage to be vocal which in and of itself can leave a victim and their family re-traumatized. With that in mind, were you at all hesitant about interviewing her family?

No, because they wanted us to do this. Robert Corbitt has tried to draw attention to this crime since he was a young child. He was nine years old when it happened. Recy was not only his sister but she was a mother to him. He knew full well what happened to her and he wanted it to get out in the open so she could have justice.

One of the points we make in the film is that men, in general, have their own set of problems that surround the rape of women they love. They internalize it and they’re so limited in what they could do particular back in that day. The father wanted to take a shotgun and kill people. They had to stop him from doing that because he would’ve been lynched.

SVFREE: How was the experience interviewing Recy herself?

Recy was proud to stand up and say, “what they did to me was wrong.” We were in her room and it was very emotional for us as well. I remember my heart was pounding. She seemed to be very gratified that we were there. She knows that the movie is coming out and she is excited about it.

SVFREE: And we see how race plays into these injustices. We see this today with the lack of indictments for police brutality. With the way movements are started on social media, do you see this as a new way to hold perpetrators accountable?

Unfortunately, our justice system is going to be the key in that. Ideally, movies like this will awaken people to how serious these offenses are and make them put more pressure on legislators to hold people accountable. We just saw what happened with Betsy DeVos and how that was a big step back in terms of campus crimes.

We need a populace that will push back on that. I think women understand how important we were to the movements that we can appreciate now. Women are continuing to be resistant and persistent — all of those movements go towards the awakening of the people who change the law. Let’s hope that things change in the midterm election. We have to move forward.

Project DOT: The Breakdown Of Our Youth Messages Part 1

Published on October 3, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

As part of Project DOT’s prevention initiative, mentors set out to underserved communities in New York City to discuss important topics that older children and teens aren’t talking about enough at home and in formal settings. In order to engage in language and ideas that children and teens are thinking about and actively dealing with on a day to day basis, youth leaders focused on healthy relationships, bystander intervention, and consent.

During a series of workshops the kids expressed their thoughts through artwork, and various other activities on situations they’ve encountered and the language around prevention. Below kids and teens in the Black community detailed the messages they want people to know they’re actively thinking about.

Healthy Relationships

The Message:

#Everybodytoldme I should tell my friends I’m being abused, but #Nobodytoldme My friend should support me with whatever decision I choose. #Communicationiskey

The Breakdown:

When a victim comes forward to tell their friend they’ve been experiencing abuse, it can be a nuanced situation from the start. It’s not the easiest thing in the world for a victim to reach out. First, they have to inwardly reflect about the abuse they’ve endured and recognize it as abuse before they even come forward. As a friend, this means you have to be receptive to their words, and sometimes that involves being supportive even if the victim chooses to stay with the person abusing them.

You shouldn’t champion them staying with the person but you should support the victim, letting them know that you’re open to being someone they can come to if another situation of abuse arises. While staying is not a healthy decision, it’s a choice that comes with many working parts of their acceptance and healing. A true friend may not understand the emotional turmoil that occurs if they look down on the victim for staying.

Some victims of abuse stay for economical reasons, as they’re financially dependent on their abuser, who has dominated their life in every way. While others simply believe their abusers will change because it’s something they’ve been promised.

What many don’t realize is healing and acceptance looks different on every victim, and because of that, it can take weeks, months, even years before a victim leaves their abuser.

Bystander

The Message:

#Everybodytoldme to mind my own business, but #nobodytoldme that as a young person my voice matters when I see an ex is spreading rumors about their partner

The Breakdown:

Plenty of young people feel underestimated and as if their voice doesn’t matter. The one thing the Alliance teaches to teens through workshops is that they should feel empowered by their voice and recognize situations where they could use their voice in a productive way if they feel comfortable in doing so.

A person who doesn’t speak up when they witness a potentially dangerous or damaging situation comes under the umbrella of the bystander effect. If a young person doesn’t speak up, more often than not, it’s because they don’t recognize that they can utilize their voice as an agent to directly affect the outcome of a situation. To further complicate the situation, many young people conflate the advice to mind their own business with staying silent when a voice is so desperately needed.

By recognizing the power of their voice, this makes it a bit easier for a young person to critically think about how they want to react to a situation as it’s happening. The Alliance tries its best to give these tools to teens, along with powerful statements they can utilize if a situation comes up.

Consent

Consent Message:

#Everybodytoldme to use a rubber, but #nobodytoldme to ask my lover. #Communicationiskey

The Breakdown:

There’s an array of misconceptions about consent depending on the situation. It’s a nuanced subject that the Alliance works hard to breakdown for youth. This particular message resonated with the youth.

In school, there’s a lot of attention on using contraceptives in the form of condoms (which is a good idea to follow) but that shouldn’t be the only focus when it comes to creating a lasting healthy relationship with your partner. There are more working parts in establishing a healthy communicative relationship than what’s taught in a formal setting. The message of using a rubber may relate back to practicing good sexual health but the discussion around contraceptives usually eliminates a huge component of a healthy relationship.

For one, it isn’t just one person’s responsibility to bring up contraceptives — both partners should have a conversation about it. The message of using a condom without any explanation afterward skips over the talking point that both partners need to communicate with each other. It’s not a one-sided conversation as it’s so often portrayed as.

Stay tuned for next week’s breakdown.

For more about Project DOT check us out on social media.

Project DOT: Inside Bystander Intervention And Healthy Relationships

Published on October 2, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

As part of our social media campaign for Project DOT, staff from the Alliance as well as our youth-led partners have released videos discussing the important themes that run throughout the many workshops and activities that youth participate in. For this week Youth Consultant Deria Matthews and JAIA’s youth Damian Dacius discuss bystander intervention and healthy relationships, respectively.

Project DOT: In Conversation With Deria Matthews

Published on by Teri Rosenberg

A big component of Project DOT is getting the Alliance’s young partners involved in the host of activities, which take place while kids and teens are enrolled in the program. Not only does this make it easier for the kids to connect to an adult but parents can rest assured all of the information they’re receiving comes from a reputable source who won’t talk down to the children. Instead, that person, much like Youth Consultant Deria Matthews, will act as a leader the kids can look up to as an example of being a young and successful individual.

We sat down with Deria Matthews to discuss her reflections on Project DOT now that she’s worked in a series of workshops with the Black youth and the South Asian youth. Deria had a lot to share about the youth’s experience and how the Alliance successfully deconstructs harmful messaging related to sexuality and gender.

SVFREE: In your words, how would you describe Project DOT?

MATTHEWS: It’s a youth-led program that’s specific to communities of color that have a need for education on healthy relationships and sexuality.

SVFREE: Where do you fit with your role within Project DOT?

MATTHEWS: I’m the youth consultant. I work specifically with the curriculum and the model development for the South Asian and Black communities.

SVFREE:In terms of Project Dot what do the activities with the youth look like within these workshops?

MATTHEWS: They’re really hands-on and discussion based. Our prevention strategy is us talking about awareness and having young people sharing their experiences. We give them the language on a broader scale around sexual assault.

SVFREE: What kind of interactive activities do you hold with the youth?

MATTHEWS: A big part of it is looking at lyrics, digital campaigns, advertisements and discussing messages on gender. We also look at memes, too. We do alphabet relays, we talk about love languages where everyone speaks and shares what their love languages look like. We do something called a “human barometer.” People walk to one side of the room or another to talk about healthy relationships. One side of the room would discuss “healthy” and the other side of the room is “unhealthy” relationships. The middle of the room is the “not sure” side. So we’ll read a statement or a behavior that might show up in a relationship, and then the youth have to decide whether they think it’s healthy or unhealthy.

SVFREE: How do you guys dissect other campaigns?

MATTHEWS: We look at the ones that target sexual relationships and assault. We see who their audience is and use a critical eye to think about who they’re trying to talk to and what their message is. We discuss if it’s targeting people of color, men and/or women. When it comes to [the content], the youth look at the messages and what they say about dating, sex, and the roles that certain genders are supposed to perform.

SVFREE: What about the workshops are you particularly impressed by?

MATTHEWS: Even though adults aren’t having these conversations with young people, they still are creating their own understandings despite what might have been given to them. They’re having these important discussions outside of what their parents and schools are telling them. Sometimes, it’s healthier than what has been given to them.

SVFREE: Have you received feedback from the parents?

MATTHEWS: We haven’t but when the kids did a radio show about what they’re learning, the parents were extremely supportive, but when you deal with things around what girls can wear, there’s a lot of resistance. Parents are especially trying to police what young women wear. The parents aren’t really recognizing the harm and abuse that’s done to them when they’re shaming them for what they’re wearing or sending a nude picture. They say, “You shouldn’t have done that.” Instead of saying, “Someone shouldn’t have shared your picture if you trusted them.” Or “Someone shouldn’t have touched you just because you have on a short skirt.” There’s a lot of that kind of response and pressure being put on young girls.

SVFREE: Have the kids brought up any kind of stereotypes they’re dealing with or trying to escape when it comes to age, race, and gender?

MATTHEWS: There are stereotypes around what girls are expected to do or should do. A lot of times girls will be told that they’re supposed to be the cleaners of the household or that they want to get married or they’re supposed to get married. They’re told that these are things that girls should want for themselves. They’re also told through advertisements that girls aren’t sexual even though they’re told that teens are overtly sexual. They’re only exposed to one angle that boys want to have sex with girls rather than the other way around.

SVFREE: How do you think the media could do better in terms of speaking to youth?

MATTHEWS: It’s important to have young people represented. How To Get Away With Murder is a show that’s doing a good job. They’re showing young people in college and their sexual lives and it’s racially diverse. They have an Asian person who’s gay and has HIV and he’s with a white male partner. They have these very real conversations about having HIV and what that’s like. I think having more conversations and moments around consent is necessary. HTGAWM shows a more intimate exchange as opposed to an SVU formula.

SVFREE: What’s a theme that Project DOT represents that doesn’t enough attention in these communities?

MATTHEWS: Young people have an awareness now about sexuality and gender fluidity. The young people are with us in this change. Some of the youth identity as gender non-conforming. Some of them have trans partners. Young people aren’t outside of these conversations that we’re having as adults.

SVFREE: What kind of an impact do you hope will Project DOT create within these communities?

MATTHEWS: I hope it starts to change the norm. I hope it ends the silence around sex and young people’s sexual bodies. I hope it starts conversations because young people are sexual beings. By not talking to them it really opens them up to sexual assault.

For more about Project DOT check us out on social media.

Why Rescinding the Dear Colleague Letter is Harmful to Students

Published on September 22, 2017 by Rebecca Baron

In light of the Department of Education’s recension of the 2011 Dear Colleague Letter (DCL), the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault (the Alliance) reaffirms its commitment to creating a safe space on universities for all students and to protect the rights of survivors of sexual assault. We do not support the lowering of standards for universities. Best practice for all, complainants and accused, would be improving on existing guidelines rather than taking away protections.

We find the Department of Education’s abrupt decision to rescind the 2011 and 2014 Dear Colleague Letters appalling, and are concerned about the 20 million college students nationwide now subject to unequitable standards and limited protections. Undermining the use of the preponderance of evidence standard will reverse progress towards fair due process. The letter released today claims that many institutions relied on a clear and convincing standard prior to 2011. However, according to Title IX & The Preponderance of the Evidence: A White Paper, a 2011 survey and several corroborating studies prove that claim false. The survey showed that out of 191 colleges surveyed, 168 specified a standard and 136 of those (80%) already used preponderance of evidence. In suggesting a preponderance of evidence standard, the 2011 DCL did not require universities to adopt an unconventional or unproven method. It in fact enforced a method that had seen success both in higher education and in civil court. Additionally, preponderance of evidence is in line with the American Bar’s Association (ABA) Criminal Justice Task Force recommendations. Universities can ensure due process for all sides without resorting to standards that place the entire burden on complainants.

It’s exceedingly frustrating that this latest guidance fails to understand that students suing a school for discrimination regarding sexual assault- based misconduct are allowed the civil standard of a preponderance of evidence. If students found guilty of sexual assault are allowed the preponderance standard to prove a false finding, then complainants deserve the same treatment when proving an allegation true.

We would like to highlight the following three areas as additional problems. For one, contrary to the department’s current belief, disallowing cross examination does not prevent questioning, it redirects questions to a panel head in order to spare the complainant potential trauma and to maintain order in an emotionally rife setting.

Second, the letter of recension speaks of equity, but there is no equity in allowing respondents to appeal a decision but not complainants. Both complainants and respondents deserve equal opportunity to appeal a decision they find unfair and unjust. Finally, allowing universities to rely solely or predominantly on police investigations is antithetical to a university’s responsibility to enforce students’ rights and adjudicate rights violations. Students must have the right to pursue their case on the collegiate level only, and even still, there is stark difference between finding someone guilty of student misconduct and finding them guilty of a felony. Criminal investigations have standards and intent that conflict with those of universities, such as a higher burden of proof and district offices whose discretion in choosing cases does not indicate a false accusation.

Above is just a sampling of areas where the 2017 DCL ignores the reality of sexual assault adjudication on college campuses. The solution to a lack of due process is modeling additional and clarifying guidelines, (like ABA Task Force Recommendations or New York State’s Enough is Enough Legislation,) not rescinding basic protections.

The Alliance implores the Department of Education not to return us to a time where survivors of sexual assault on college campuses had to fight to be heard. Improve upon existing guidance instead of reversing progress in favor of the tipped scales of the past.

Today is a difficult day for survivors of sexual violence, particularly those who were victimized on their college campuses. The college campus should be a place safe from violence and hostility. The Alliance will continue to advocate for students and survivors across New York and nationwide.

We urge our supporters to take today to reach out to the survivors in your life, validate the importance of this continued fight, and take care of those around you.

Project DOT: Talking About Consent With Saswati Sarkar

Published on September 18, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

As part of our campaign for Project DOT, Saswati Sarkar the Assistant Director of Prevention Programs sat down to give some tips on what consent looks like in a healthy relationship.

If you’re a parent, you can use these talking points to discuss this difficult subject with your child/teen.

If you’re a young person in a relationship, you could keep these tips in your back pocket.

Introducing Project DOT With Mary Haviland

Published on by Teri Rosenberg

This week the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault officially launched its social media campaign around Project DOT (Dream. Own. Tell.) Project DOT is a program that’s part of the Alliance’s prevention initiative that engages with approx. 15,000 disenfranchised youths (ages 13-21) from LGBTQI, African-American, Latinx, and South Asian communities in New York City. Its main goal is engaging youth from underserved communities who lack traditional prevention programming when it comes to positive messaging and self-empowerment about healthy relationships, prevention of sexual violence, and sexual education.

Due to the program’s creativity and its strategic innovative ways of connecting with the youth, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) has picked up Project DOT to be upscaled. This way, the program and its existing model can be expanded, in an effort to disseminate the powerful tools given to the youth on a national scale.

To keep in line with the CDC’s practices, the Alliance is now collaborating with the center to measure attitudes, knowledge, and will conduct a post-workshop for an eventual evaluation of the model via interviews and focus groups.

As part of our social media campaign, the Alliance will share the impactful messages made by the youth for the youth, adults, and their community at large. To kick off the campaign, the Alliance’s Executive Director, Mary Haviland, sat down to speak about the inception of Project DOT and its hopes for how we as a people will come to understand and speak about sexual assault.

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SVFREENYC: As executive director, what’s your role in Project DOT?

MARY HAVILAND: Every year we convene with the rape crisis centers and ask them what they think the priorities are for survivors of sexual assault. One of the themes that always comes up is the media and the extent to which survivors get blamed for their own assault. Also, people went deeper into the discussion of the media and the hypersexualized messages around women and kids so we put it front and center on our agenda to do a media campaign for New York City among youth ages 18-21. There have been several domestic violence campaigns that have been put up by the city or other non-for-profit organizations but there hasn’t been one, to our knowledge, that targets specifically sexual violence.

SVFREENYC: In terms of the media, do you see a shift in how they portray women and sexuality in general because we have millennials that are paving the way in the digital age?

HAVILAND: I do see some shift but I also see some shift backward in some sectors of the media. There definitely has been some sophistication and understanding of sexual assault promoted by some media outlets but there’s still this lack of education and a deeper awareness of the issue and the impact it has on communities. I still think there’s not enough messaging out there about sexual assault. There’s particularly not enough material out there on sexual assault that’s sensitive to the diversity of New York City. This campaign was really meant to dig deeply into the cultural and racial context.

SVFREENYC: How was Project DOT started and how has it transformed from its inception?

HAVILAND: We found that the kids knew less than we thought about the issue and that they wanted to talk more than we thought. Initially, we thought of “five sessions” or “six sessions” but now it’s almost doubled in terms of the work we take the kids through before we get to the messaging and community mobilization part. We’ve established firmer relationships with our community-based partners. We’ve had to have them in there fifty percent with us otherwise we find that the youths don’t resonate, as they should. One of the outcomes was how much the kids want parents to understand what they’re learning.

SVFREENYC: There does seem to be a huge disconnect between parents and the kids.

HAVILAND: Right, especially in communities where there’s not only an age divide but there’s a cultural divide. Kids are really trying to fit into American society and some grown-ups are just trying to make their lives here. They’re really struggling with their own cultural identity and trying to find a place that’s comfortable for them to fit. Even in communities that aren’t necessarily immigrant communities, that’s still going on to a certain extent. In the Black community, the kids are joining things that the older generation doesn’t necessarily agree with so I think that the messaging to parents by kids is just a really powerful tool for communities to listen to.

SVFREENYC: Have you received any feedback from the parents?

HAVILAND: This program was designed to end with the kids engaging in community mobilization activities. The idea is to take the messages away and disseminate the messages back to the community and so during those activities there’s been some feedback from parents. We also got feedback from them because the kids had their consent to participate in these groups. We tried to make the argument that parents would rather [their children] get accurate information from this program rather than some underground source that could pull them into danger. I think that argument won out with a good number of parents.

SVFREENYC: Can you think of a success story?

HAVILAND: I think about the kids who are in these groups. There are a number of them who have really blossomed. I’m often here when the groups are going on because they’re in the evening. The sounds that I hear coming from the rooms is so heartening. The kids are super engaged and sometimes with laughter and a lot of movement. We developed some really cool exercises for them. I’m really proud of the groups. I think they’ve really helped kids cope with the onslaught of media and their social networking pressures.

SVFREENYC: Where did you get the slogan Dream. Own. Tell from and what does that represent to you?

HAVILAND: I think it encapsulates what we hope the kids will do in this program. The “dream” part is to really think outside the box, to dream of a world where sexual violence is much less frequent and less tolerated, where survivors can get assistance that helps them heal as quickly as possible. Also, a world where survivors can have access to justice. The “own” part is based on the youth-centered effort in the messaging. It’s really a kids campaign. The “tell” part is getting the message out there so that’s what we’re hoping to do.

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For more about Project DOT check us out on social media.

Enough is Enough Audit

Published on September 11, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault applauds Governor Cuomo for his commitment to protecting students on campus. It began with his support for passage of the “Enough is Enough” law in July, 2015 that requires all NYS colleges and universities to adopt policies to respond to and prevent sexual assault. The governor has followed up by auditing all 244 colleges state-wide to ensure that they are complying with the law. Given the uncertainty around such policies on the national level, we are extremely grateful for continued focus by the Governor on the issue of campus sexual assault.

At the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, we have been part of the effort to help colleges and universities meet the state and federal requirements. The Alliance leads a state-wide Working Group which issued written recommendations on responding and preventing sexual assault on campuses that has gone out to all Title IX Coordinators in New York State. Secondly, the Alliance launched its campus program including the Campus Training Institute (CTI), which provides training programs designed to address sexual violence from an intersectional and trauma-informed perspective. In the first year of this program ending April 2017, Alliance staff conducted 53 trainings at 12 campuses, a student summit, and major presentations reaching over 3,000 campus staff, administrators, students, and rape crisis counselors.

The Alliance looks forward to continue working with institutions around the city who would like to improve their processes around addressing and preventing sexual violence on their campuses.

Our Joint Statement with the New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault on Potential Rollbacks to Title IX

Published on September 7, 2017 by Mary Haviland & Joanne Zannoni

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault (the Alliance) and the New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA) are alarmed by Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos’s directive to review guidance that protects students’ rights.

This review process, called notice-and-comment, is directed at a 2011 guidance called the Dear Colleague Letter (DCL). The DCL prioritized and re-stated the obligation of institutions of education to commit to non-discrimination in their policies and practices on college campuses. It specifically laid out duties with regard to sexual harassment and violence under Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972. The DCL did not add requirements to the applicable law but provided guidance to policies that had long been in place at the Department of Education under both Democratic and Republican presidencies. The DCL reaffirmed the following Title IX requirements: the designation of Title IX coordinators in all institutions of education; prompt and equitable grievance procedures for complaining and accused students; training for staff, as well as education and prevention for students; and finally, remedies for findings of discrimination. The DCL requires a transparent and enforceable method of providing non-discriminatory education in the U.S.

Under this current administration, transparency and accountability measures for universities have already been rolled back. Recently, the Department of Education discontinued an Office of Civil Rights directive issued under President Obama that required a review of three years’ worth of Title IX complaints upon the filing of an individual Title IX complaint. This directive enabled the office to investigate and identify systemic injustices on campus. The Alliance has addressed concerns over this rollback in an Op-Ed in the Hechinger Report. The Alliance and NYSCASA are looking at legislative measures to protect New York State students under state law.

In addition to this rollback, the Department of Education held a series of roundtables earlier this summer. Due to the scheduling of these roundtables, the Department of Education seemed to heavily weight the concerns of those who oppose the application of Title IX to the campus context. DeVos’s comments and examples used today downplayed the recent successes in fair adjudication of sexual violence cases on campus and lay the stage for further rollbacks of student protections. DeVos’s continual reference to wrongfully accused students as victims dishonors student victims and survivors who bravely reported their victimization. We also vehemently challenge DeVos’s understanding of sexual harassment. We do not believe that “if everything is harassment, nothing is harassment,” and we will stand with victims against such tone deaf remarks.

We believe it is imperative that the notice-and-comment review be conducted in a fashion that allows for the inclusion of the lived expertise of survivors, advocates and legal experts in the field. Just as the DCL demanded transparency and accountability of universities, we ask the same of any potential Title IX changes made by the Department of Education.

The events of the past weeks at the U.S. Department of Education are very troubling for those of us who have worked to reduce the number of sexual assaults on college campuses. Last Thursday, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos met privately with survivors of sexual assault, representatives of educational institutions, as well as students accused of sexual assault and their families, as part of an effort to re-examine the Education Department’s policies to combat sexual assault on campus – protections strengthened during the Obama Administration. Those protections under Title IX, the federal law that prohibits discrimination in education based on gender, required colleges to better respond to survivors and do more to protect students against campus sexual assault.

More troubling has been the words and actions of Candice Jackson, the Acting Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights at the Department of Education, who was named to her position in April by President Donald Trump. She made the jaw dropping statement that of the Department of Education’s nearly 500 open Title IX sexual assault complaint investigations, “90 percent of them — fall into the category of ‘we were both drunk,’ ‘we broke up, and six months later I found myself under a Title IX investigation…” She provided no data to back up this claim, and was forced later to apologize.

According to a survey conducted by the Association of American Universities in 2015, nearly one in four female undergraduates reported experiencing an incidence of sexual assault or misconduct during their college years. As an indication that campus sexual assaults are significantly underreported, the same survey found that between five and twenty-eight percent actually report the assault to campus officials or law enforcement.

One of the ways for a student to make a report is to the school’s Title IX office. Among other things, under Title IX, the school is required to have an established procedure for handling these reports, conduct a prompt and fair investigation for the reporting and accused students, and provide interim safety measures for the reporting individual if requested.

Only if the reporting student believes the school has failed to uphold the rights under Title IX, andthen files a Title IX complaint, does it actually reach the U.S. Department of Education as a Title IX complaint, representing a miniscule fraction of the sexual assaults taking place on campus.

Under policies implemented during the Obama Administration, when a Title IX complaint did reach the Department, as part of their investigation, staff of the Office of Civil Rights required the school under investigation to submit three years of past complaint data/files to determine whether the college or university was complying with Title IX and taking seriously its obligation to thoroughly investigate allegations of sexual assault and protect the survivor. This data provided the Department with a window into possible patterns of neglect by schools – what better way to see how schools are handling these issues than to look at actual data. And importantly, it gave the Department a vehicle for requiring schools to take corrective measures and more broadly, protect future survivors and possibly implement preventive measures to reduce sexual assaults on campus.

These policies put in place a powerful accountability tool that made colleges and universities sit up and take notice. At stake are millions of dollars of aid that they receive from the federal government each year. Not to mention that they are entrusted with the education and safety of our young people.

With a stroke of pen, Ms. Jackson struck down the ability of Office of Civil Rights staff to hold colleges accountable by looking at three years of data. In a memo to staff, the Office of Civil Rights will only apply a systemic approach when “the individual complaint allegations themselves raise systemic or class action issues,” or the investigative team determines that there may be a systemic issue through conversations with the complainant. So instead of relying upon a data driven approach to understand what is happening on a given college campus, Ms. Jackson will require the complainant, who has allegedly experienced a sexual assault, to make the case for systemic problems on campus. The same complainants she disparaged and dismissed in her comments this past week.

In New York, we are fortunate to have one of the most aggressive policies in the country to combat campus sexual assault. Governor Andrew Cuomo signed “Enough is Enough” into law in July 2015. The law requires all colleges and universities across New York to adopt a set of comprehensive procedures and guidelines that includes a uniform definition of affirmative consent and expanded access to law enforcement. Acknowledging the importance of data and follow through, in May of this year, Governor Cuomo ordered a comprehensive review of compliance under the “Enough Is Enough” law. The evaluation will include a review of the policies and procedures of colleges and universities across the state to ensure compliance with the law.

At the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, we have been part of the effort to help colleges and universities meet the state and federal requirements. The Alliance leads a state-wide Working Group which issued written recommendations on responding and preventing sexual assault on campuses that has gone out to all Title IX Coordinators in New York State. Secondly, the Alliance launched its campus program including the Campus Training Institute (CTI), which provides training programs designed to address sexual violence from an intersectional and trauma-informed perspective. In the first year of this program ending April 2017, Alliance staff conducted 53 trainings at 12 campuses, a student summit, and major presentations reaching over 3,000 campus staff, administrators, students, and rape crisis counselors.

We applaud the more than 30 Senators who sent a letter to Secretary Betsy DeVos condemning the limitations placed on the enforcement of civil rights laws. In an era where Twitter seems to be the preferred mode of communication, we encourage the use of hashtag #DearBetsy, which was launched and popularized by the groups Know Your IX and End Rape On Campus, to share personal stories about campus sexual assault and the importance of Title IX.

Too much has been accomplished to address campus sexual violence to go back now. There are constructive ways policies can be improved, but they should be data driven and draw upon best practices like those taking place in New York.

(Mary Haviland is the Executive Director of the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, and Michael Fagan, Communications Committee Chair of its Board, is a former Communications Officer for Sexual Exploitation and Abuse at the United Nations and former Deputy Commissioner at the New York City Administration for Children’s Services.)

Understanding Our Reactions to the Cosby Case

Published on June 21, 2017 by Teri Rosenberg

By Lia Hagen

This month, after more than a decade of waiting, Andrea Constand sat at a witness stand and publicly accused Bill Cosby of drugging and assaulting her. After a period of deliberation that took longer than the arguments of both the prosecution and the defense, she received the jury’s conclusion. They were hopelessly deadlocked, and the case ended in a mistrial.

To many, this was a stumbling block on the path to justice. To others, it was a glimmer of hope for a wrongly prosecuted man. Cosby’s case will be retried and his fate decided. But his and Constand’s story isn’t just about the courts. It’s about us, too.

As dozens of women came forward to echo Constand’s accusations, members of the public were forced to choose a side. Was Cosby a beloved entertainer or a rapist? A celebrated figure who worked to advance the lives of black people, or an abuser of women? Like his actual court case, this trial of public opinion has been filled with grandstanding, misdirected nostalgia, and touching testimonies from accusers. And like Cosby’s jury, the public is currently unable to come to a conclusive decision about who this man really is.

But maybe that just means we’re asking the wrong questions.

We shouldn’t waste time debating the merits of Cosby’s body of work. We can never erase his legacy, and there’s no use in digging through his illustrious past, searching for the moment when the man became a monster. That’s something we’ll never find.

There is no “type” of person who becomes a rapist. Rapists aren’t just balding men on barstools. They don’t spend their evenings lurking in dimly lit alleys, waiting for a girl to totter over in her stilettos. Rapists are all around us. They have families and feelings. They take the subway to the restaurant and say please and thank you to the waiter. They’re not supervillains. More often than not, they’re a lot like Dr. Huxtable: likable, well-known, and seemingly normal.

Maybe that’s what’s so frightening about this case. In discussions about Cosby, I often find that people are desperate to understand how Cosby lied to the American people about who he was. But he didn’t, not really. On TV, Cosby was the father that many people didn’t have, the friend who we always wanted. He made us smile and laugh, made entire communities feel stronger.

Cosby never had to lie about who he was. In fact, he publicly admitted to giving drugs to women over a decade ago. Yet somehow, he’s still received the benefit of the doubt for all these years. People can’t believe that someone they care for would do things they can’t condone. But he has. He is a charming, talented entertainer, and he is an abuser of women. It’s not an either/or situation. He is both, and he always has been both.

Once you learn that, Constand’s trial becomes easier to understand. It’s believed that the inconsistencies in Constand’s testimony were the reason for the jury’s split decision. At first, Constand misreported the date of her assault and claimed that she had no further contact with Cosby after the incident. Many people who have not been sexually abused believe this means she’s a liar. They have never experienced how trauma alters memory, and they don’t understand why anyone would keep in contact with a rapist. But a rapist is not all that Bill Cosby was. He was someone who claimed to be Constand’s friend, someone Constand saw as a mentor. He was one of the most famous men in America and a crucial donor to her place of employment. The power dynamics in this situation are almost impossible to navigate, and, quite frankly, Constand doesn’t have to explain the way she kept herself afloat. Not if we all agree that she was drowning.

It’s difficult to understand how to engage with rapists, particularly rapists that we care about. That’s part of the reason why celebrities like Casey Affleck, Nate Parker, and Sean Penn keep receiving our love and critical acclaim. No one really knows how to reform a rapist, especially in a society where their behavior is frequently condoned or even encouraged. But that doesn’t mean we can just ignore their actions. If we don’t recognize abuse while it’s happening, we have a responsibility to address it in the after. It isn’t easy. It is, in fact, excruciatingly hard.

But we must learn to understand how someone who appears so good can do something so evil. We must understand that rapists are not caricatures. They are real people, living among us, shaped by the same culture that has shaped each of us.

If we don’t learn to see that, we’ll never be able to take an honest look at sexual violence. And we’ll never be able to tackle the issues that turned the man in the bright sweater into something considerably more sinister.

Lia Hagen is a 20-year-old creative from the cosmopolitan metropolis of Omaha, Nebraska. She is a long-time poet and President of NYU’s slam poetry organization, SLAM! At NYU. She also works as an intern at the Bowery Poetry Club and the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault. Her passions include writing fiction, creating newfangled content for the internet, and taking selfies she’ll never post.

So You Want to Interview a Survivor

Published on January 11, 2017 by Jeenie Yoon

Working at a rape crisis program means that I and my colleagues receive weekly requests from journalists and students to interact with survivors of sexual assault. I’ve received requests about interviewing survivors, filming survivors, photographing survivors during their sessions or group work, and following them around in their day-to-day lives for the purposes of a documentary, final project, article, or paper.

All of these requests come from kind-hearted individuals who are interested in highlighting survivor voices in whatever project they are working on. The intent is generally very positive.

Unfortunately, sometimes this intent doesn’t translate into the impact that these requests have. At times we have had reporters or writers who are working under a strict deadline and suddenly find themselves in need of a survivor, stat!

Journalists and similar media professionals adhere to a code of ethics that aim to preserve the integrity of the profession while seeking truth and reducing harm. The Society of Professional Journalists outline several major ethical codes that journalists and journalists-in-training should be adhering to, including the minimization of harm. The code states, “Journalists should show compassion for those who may be affected by news coverage. Use heightened sensitivity when dealing with juveniles, victims of sex crimes, and sources or subjects who are inexperienced or unable to give consent.”¹

It says something that victims of sex crimes are specifically highlighted in this code of ethics.

More often than not, these well-intentioned requests end up having more of an exploitative impact.

Think about it this way: if rape crisis professionals are actively working with survivors of sexual violence, it is more often than not because that survivor is still healing and processing through their trauma. They are likely still working through feelings of self-blame, shame, pain, anger, and may be struggling with being believed by others. When considering these factors along with the fact that many high-profile sexual assault cases result in public abuse of the victim online, it is easy to understand the hesitancy a survivor may have in sharing their story with a wider audience.

I say none of this to shame those who are interested in highlighting these very important stories and experiences. Rather, I want to help minimize harm while still getting the information out there. So here are some basic tips on being more trauma-informed when working with survivors of sexual violence:

First things first—ask yourself if you really NEED survivor interviews or video. Can you get the information you need from other sources? Various newspaper articles, blogs, and academic articles cover the effects of sexual violence thoroughly. If the answer to this question is no, remind yourself that your request may end up being more exploitative than originally intended.

Ask yourself if you are starting from a point of belief—meaning, will you believe the survivor you end up working with? Or are you operating from a place of suspicion?

Remember only 2-8% of officially reported sexual violence cases are false reports, and this includes recants from those who feel scared or intimidated by lawyers and police (this rate, by the way, is no higher than the rate of false reports for all other crimes)

When someone is asking you to share the most traumatic experience in your life over and over again, in front of multiple people, and having your integrity, personality, and story questioned ruthlessly by attorneys or the public, it is understandable why some original reports may be withdrawn later.

Do your research beforehand.

It is so important to know that crimes of sexual violence are rooted in power, control, and patriarchal beliefs. Sexual violence does not stem from consumption of alcohol, has nothing to do with the victim’s behavior or outfit, and is not about sexual gratification.

Not all sexual violence victims are women, and not all perpetrators are men.

Cast a net into your own social circles first. When you consider the statistics, it is almost impossible for you to not know a survivor of sexual violence.

Anywhere from 20-33% of female identified individuals experience an attempted or completed sexual assault in their lifetime and 10% of survivors of sexual violence are male identified. You very likely know someone who has experienced sexual violence.

Putting out an open request on social media platforms will likely draw people who are more ready emotionally and mentally to talk about their experiences on a public forum.

Always ask the survivor if something is okay with them first.

Whenever possible, send the survivor the questions you plan to ask and be ready to share with them the reason and goals behind your project.

Give them permission to not answer the questions they are uncomfortable with.

Ask them when and where they would like to talk with you—give them control over how, where, and when the conversation goes down.

Ask them permission if you can film/record them first!

Don’t be pushy.

You should never guilt a survivor who isn’t okay with a certain question or aspect of your interview or project (i.e., If they don’t want you to film them in a counseling session you should not ask again).

Learn to be okay with whatever boundaries the survivor sets up—just because you had your heart set on recording a session does not mean you’ll get that from a survivor

Offer to keep the survivor anonymous by giving them a fake name (and note that in your project whenever possible).

Overall, just be respectful and non-judgmental about whatever the survivor may need. Work with rape crisis professionals whenever it is appropriate and please understand that we cannot hand out survivor information as it is our responsibility to maintain confidentiality and protect the identities of our clients. If ever you are not sure whether something you want to say or do is appropriate, reach out to a rape crisis professional and ask! We are happy to help raise awareness in a sensitive and trauma-informed way.

Hopefully this helps keep you trauma-informed while completing your interviews, articles, and projects.

Sharing our experiences can have transformative powers. If you are survivor, service provider and/or loved one of someone who has experienced sexual violence, we want to hear from you. Submit your story on our community blog.

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