Saturday, March 24, 2012

The third sequel of the instinct filled trilogy is a live performance with a political twist. It stars the highest echelons of the US government squealing,wriggling and flashing a generous display of hairy scary legs.

With the stimulus bill on crutches, a growing debt and unemployment to measure up with, he does need to flash his leg to seek re election. Well..he is certainly out to 'woo'- manise the 'man-date'.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Vidya Balans hip dislocating gyrations was noticed with eye socket bursting awe and strategic ponder in the tear drop shaped nation,more often than not, referred to as the 'isle of delight'. This spirited shooting from the uncontrollable hip, prompted makeover pundits seated in the once cushy couches of Colombo to draw a simple parallel. If Vidya mamis tomb shaped hips can cause so much of a heart warming flutter, Rajapaksa Uncle was blessed with monumental posterior that gyrates wider, longer and mind it, with a soulful grace of a circus lion feeding after a tiring show.

So was concieved, the island nations own 'Dirty Picture'. With curtains drawn on the war and movie making the new fervor, pronounced
sidekicks jumped at the calculated opportunity with rhythmic ease. The
military polished his shoes, the bureaucracy ironed his underpants,
corporates greased his hind and expectantly, party workers took on more important chores like passing around a cash bowl and pasting pre release banners.

Thus,in the long and short of a nations timeline, it came to be,Mahinda Rajapaksa was the 'shooting star' in the Sri Lankan government sponsored fiction 'Lies Agreed Upon'. Of course, one would not expect it to come with a statutory warning''...resemblance to anyone alive,dead or a state in between, is purely intentional.''

Saturday, March 10, 2012

It is the innate ability of my Malayali ancestry, to rival the English language like an Englishman that compels the Ghost of Wordsworth to change colour from pale white to buffalo green. While the poor Brit spewed through his stiff upper lip, constipating generations of Union Jack oratories, the Malayali chettan let loose from his stiffer lower lip, flooding phonetic lavatories. Thus, 'temple' to the sundry was heard as 'temble','simply' as 'simbly', the feline 'cat' stretched its existence to 'caat' , the killer instinct in a 'donkey' was replaced by the sublime g-string sporting 'dongey' and certainly not the least,the runaway fraternal slang 'pop' has been elevated in diction, to the papal distinction of 'pope'. Thus,heard commonly in flavoured Kerala pop musical circles 'Madonna is singing and dancing to sexy pope music...papa don'd breach'. The Papacy, as we read is still reeling under Madonna and Malayalis in equal measure.

B. FASHION

Half my country cousins are. accused of being trade unionists. The other half is believed to run the Indian porn industry. This explosive amalgamation of Karl Marx and Vatsayana is epitomized by the lungi. Worn perpetually at half mast, the garment is hoisted or lowered with ergonomic ease before a labour strike or after hastened copulation,whichever his day begins with. Either way, the lungi is the atomic Keralite's cultural flag that sways on a steady diet of testosterone. In native dressing ethics, an act of omission will displace 'Gods own nut'

C. PROPORTION

When mentioning nuts, the Malayali and the omnipresent coconut is a gleaming symbol of man-tree love.In the many positions revealed in the 'cocosutra' , the fruit and its bearer, a sky kissing palm tree, haunts the average Malayali from birth to death. The man vehemently displays the utility of the omnipresent coconut using liberal geometric progression. If cooking is undertaken with the produce of one tree a day,Hair will be greased with the produce of two trees a day.If both the above are true, toddy will be consumed with the produce of nine trees a day.If not true, please pull up your nuts and quantify 'true bloodiness' as equal to jero.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Ephemerally, only the sure footed can survive the Ulta Pradesh power quest. This hollow horned mammal hopes he has put his best foot forward.What inspired this caricature is this apologue.

One day, a farmer in UP noticed a funeral procession coming up the road, and behind the hearse was a politician walking
with a mean looking goat. Behind them followed about 20 people, mostly aspiring politicians.

The following day, the farmer noticed the same hearse, the same man, the same goat, and now about 75 followers walking behind the hearse. The farmers curiosity got the best of
him. So he walked up to the politician with the goat and asked, "I saw you
yesterday about the same time as today, do you mind telling me what is going on?"

The politician explained that his wife died, and the farmer said "Oh I'm so sorry! What happened?"

The politician replied that the goat had killed her.
The farmer said, "If you buried your wife yesterday, who's in the hearse
today?'' The politician with the goat replied,"My mother-in-law."

The farmer
thought a minute, gleamed and asked the politician with the goat, "Can I borrow your
goat?" and he replied, "You'll have to get in line with the rest of
these people."