Funky Monkey Frozen Hot Chocolate

Who would be cruel enough to peddle frozen beverages to people in the dead of winter?

Sounds like it was invented by the same genius who dreamed up high heels.

Hey you know what sounds great? Mounting shoes on a tiny traction-less spike that will force your feet into a 60 degree slope, crunching your toes until they scream for mercy!

Ummm, newsflash! That’s a terrible idea.

But I’m still seduced by those arch-killing machines. Whyyyyyy?

They’re just so preeeeeetty! And sparkly! And wretched. Wait, what?

Me and high heels are in a love/hate relationship.

But me and frozen hot chocolate?

There’s only love.

Turns out the big wig who came up with this idea was right. We are stupid enough to sip frozen beverages in below freezing weather.

Yes, it’s totally ridiculous. It’s ludicrous! It goes against every bit of common sense my momma gave me.

But who can blame us for our obsession??

This stuff is gooooooood.

I first stumbled on frozen hot chocolate at a cute little coffee shop in Cape Cod, MA. I had ordered my typical warm, cozy Chai Tea Latte, but the Mr. ventured from his usual and tried a Frozen Banana Hot Chocolate.

I remember giving him the raised eyebrow at the choice. Frozen hot chocolate was weird enough…but then you add bananas? That’s just gross.

Boy did I have to retract every bit of that elevated eyebrow that day. I took a reluctant sip, mainly because the Mr. couldn’t stop raving about how good it was, and I was instantly in love.

For this version, I tried to recreate the taste and texture of that first frozen hot chocolate with the added bonus of coconut. If you ever need to win a monkey’s heart, this is all you need. For that matter, if you ever need to win a boy, child, grandparent, or husband’s heart, this should do the trick.

If you don’t have coconut or almond milk on hand, feel free to substitute with regular milk. You can pop a few of those too-ripe-to-put-on-my-cereal bananas in the freezer and the other ingredients are probably already hanging out in your cupboard just wishing they could be blended into chocoalety bliss. And don’t try to pretend you don’t have some marshmallows getting all sticky and hard in a cupboard. Plop those babies on top and torch em!

Psssst…here’s another hint. Do you hate bananas? Does coconut give you hives? Don’t worry about it! Just leave em out! You can whip up a plain ol’ frozen hot chocolate with just a little cocoa, milk, sugar, and ice.

So what are your waiting for?

Jump on this ridiculous, frozen, hot bandwagon with me!

This recipe is part of the monthly Chocolate Party hosted by Roxanna! Check out all the other chocolate and coconut treats below the recipe!

Combine coconut milk, almond milk, sugar, cocoa, coconut, rum, and vanilla in a blender. Holding the lid down, puree together until coconut and cocoa are smooth and well combined.

Place ice and frozen bananas into the blender. Again, hold the lid down and puree until smooth. If needed, add additional milk, 1 Tablespoon at a time, until desired consistency is reached. Pour into glasses and top with marshmallows or whipped cream if desired.