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EDITOR'S NOTE: This is satire, but all too-true about some people, and those are the people we're making fun of today. This article is reprinted from McSweeney's.net without permission, but where you can find lots of articles like this that will rub certain people the...

At this season I seldom had a visitor. When the snow lay deepest, no wanderer ventured near my house for a week or a fortnight at a time, but there I lived as snug as a meadow mouse.
… Thoreau in Walden

While doing some seriously complicated scientific research on the most ergonomic entry and exit of the common household hammock, I came upon a startling statistic: more men are injured while mowing lawns each year than those who sit around and drink beer. In fact,...

Today we celebrate the spring equinox, the beginning of a new astrological year, a time when hope and creativity soar and our hearts beat to the rhythm of the Earth’s renewal. And we just pray to the Mother Earth Goddess that it doesn’t fucking snow again. Because...

I’m writing today’s column from The Office of Medical Terror, otherwise known as my bedroom. I’m doing this because a monster truck of influenza ran over me, then backed up and ran over me again, and afterwards dumped a load of pneumonia on me. The truck also hit my...

When civility in modern public discourse declines, it attempts to drag other forms of decent human interaction into the murky abyss of lost social conventions. The genuine apology, for example, teeters dangerously close to collateral damage. In the Trump world, you...

When people start suggesting that highly paid writers such as myself – rumored to be in the high single digits! – start writing about British Columbia’s spring provincial election campaign, we do what any other sane person would do: hide under our desks until those...

It landed on our doorstep with a resounding thud. It measured about the size of a thick hardcover novel. It weighed more than 100 copies of “War and Peace” bound together. But all there was to read was a simple card, which said, predictably, “To my brother. Love, your...