After all the waiting The Big Day was finally here. January 23rd, 2012 is the day I would have my Gastric Bypass Surgery. I was so excited to go and get it over with, even if I had to wake up at 4:30am in the morning.

The Friday before my surgery I called to get the time I had to report for surgery on Monday and was told 6:00am. While that meant I had to wake up quite early I was excited to be the first surgery for my surgeon on that day. I was also excited because you were not allowed anything to eat or drink after midnight.

On Sunday I spent my entire day cleaning my house and getting everything done that I knew I would not be able to do once I got home – like the never ending piles of laundry. OMG I even organized my food pantry shelves so it would make life easier on hubby when he took over all the cooking – they look like a grocery store isle – I know pathetic right? but that is how I roll. If my house is not clean and organized I would not be able to relax going in. I even laid out the kids clothes for a few days so they did not have to worry either – awww what a great mom I am – lol. I wanted to make sure everything was done so that my hubby would not have to worry about much right away, but to take care of me – lol. Let me just say I have the best hubby in the world – he is so supportive with everything and anything I do. I am so lucky to have him in my life and to think I have been with him since I was 17 and could never picture my life without him in it. ♥

By the time I finished polishing my nails (I was allowed to have polish on for surgery – BooYa) and taking my shower it was almost midnight. I was still a bit wired from being so busy, but found the time to shove some last minute food into my mouth before midnight. Of course it was nothing good – I was on the liquid. I ended up having a Chocolate Protein Shake so that it would fill me up and maybe I would not be so hungry in a few hours when I had to get up. I ended up in bed about 12:30am and set my alarm for 4:30am. We had to leave the house no later than 5:20am to get there in time.

Hubby and I were laying in bed – he was tired and I was wired, but we chatted a bit. For a moment the nerves set in a bit – I had to ask him if I was doing the right thing. I had a few tears, but knew I had gone over this a million times and there was no backing out now. Then as in my fashion I had to lay down some rules if I did not make it out of the surgery. Yup I always think the worst, but ya never know right? So I gave my verbal will to my hubby who was not at all amused by it. I personally found it amusing and quite funny and if he did not follow I promised I would come back and haunt him.

I think he fell asleep around 1:30am and I watched some TV for a bit until I did too. Then BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ – my alarm goes off and as if I had slept for 8 hours I was up and out of bed. I guess I was excited now. So I went and got dressed, then I did my hair and paced until it was time to wake hubby and go. At 5:25 am we were in the car driving in the dark to the hospital. I made my hubby go through the McDonald’s drive thru to get himself some coffee as I took in the smells of the breakfast cooking in there and saying my goodbyes – lol.

When we got to the hospital we were sent to a waiting room until we were called back. So I did what I do and was texting on the phone and putting up some FB statuses for my friends and family. Once I was called back I went to what I call a cattle line up – it is where everyone goes to get prepped for their surgeries, stuck with IVs and asked lots of questions. Then you just sit in your little area until it is your turn to go.

So while I was waiting I called my kids to make sure they were up and ready for school and wish them a good day with hugs and kisses.

Then it was time to get my IV – one of the things I hate the most – Needles. BUT I was so excited and just drained from all the work I had been doing and being up so late it was no big deal. I have very hard veins to find, but this nurse who was a god send found the perfect one on my forearm and it did not hurt a bit. I didn’t even feel the IV in my arm at all – I was so excited. I had another surgery back in November 2010 and that IV was in my hand and hurt the second it went in till the day I left – I hated it. So this was awesome !!

OH I was also given a anti nasuea pill that I had requested prior to my surgery. See I have had 2 C-Sections and a Hysterectomy and each time while I was recovering that first day I would puke like crazy. Could be from the anesthesia or pain meds – or both combined, but I did not want to go through that again – so this time I was prepared. They were also going to be pumping me with some during surgery as well. So it is a good thing to ask your Surgeon to put on the list for you too if you will be having this surgery – would not hurt.

At 7:45am they came to take me away and I was really excited to go. I gave a big smooch to my hubby and off I went…..

Making the decision to have Gastric Bypass Surgery did not come easy at all. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make for myself. Gastric Bypass Surgery is not the easy way out at all and you have to know that going in.

I have struggled with my weight for ever and have been on most diet plans. I know what I am suppose to do and eat and how important exercise is. It is a no brainer, BUT for me I have never been able to focus long enough to get to the point of maintenance. I would lose the weight to where I started feeling good and thinking – hey it is ok if I eat this donut and the rest is a downward slide each and every time. Something tells me you know exactly what I am talking about, right?

Yup I lack drive and motivation and on top of it all I suffer from depression. I noticed as I have gotten older it has gotten worse – almost as though I have given up altogether and maybe I had for awhile – at least that is what it felt like. Gone were the days of turning heads and getting whistled at cause I looked good to not wanting to leave the house cause I felt like a fat cow. It was my new reality, but deep inside I did not truly want to accept that. I have always felt like a beautiful butterfly inside, but I am stuck in this thick cocoon (aka – FAT) that I want gone so I can fly again.

I had never thought I would ever be making a decision to have Weight Loss Surgery. I was always one to think that surgery was a cop out and I had always heard such horror stories about it. Back in early 2010 I had an appointment to see my regular doctor and we were talking about my health and weight. He brought up to me that I should consider Weight Loss Surgery because my weight was getting out of control and I was over 100 lbs overweight. I was shocked for a moment – Really? Surgery? He gave me some information about going to a Weight Loss Surgery Seminar to just listen to what it was all about.

I thought about it that day and all the stories of people having complications and dying from it (that was what you would hear back when it was new and it stuck with me). Could I put myself through that? I have a family. What if something happened to me because I chose to take an easy way out to lose weight. What would people think… Well I never went and just put it in the back of my mind and continued doing what I do – comforting myself with food.

In November 2010 we took a family vacation to Florida to visit family and friends (oh and to celebrate my 40th birthday). I can remember the plane ride and how excited I was to not have to ask for a seat belt extender like I did on a prior flight. Well it was a different airline and I think the seat belts were a tiny bit longer and it was super tight, but I made it work. And why do they make those seats so damn small and narrow – I mean really. So my vacation was getting off to an uncomfortable start already.

We did a lot of different things on vacation and every day my weight was an issue. One of the things we did was go to Universal Studios and visit the Harry Potter section. My kids were super excited to go on the ride in the Hogwarts School. So hubby, me and the kids waited on line for over an hour. My hubby was gonna go with my son and I was gonna go with my daughter. So we get to the ride finally and my hubby and son go in their seats and my daughter and I go in ours. This ride had the bars that came down above you and I pulled mine down, but it would not snap in. All of a sudden I heard a buzzer go off and the next thing I know is a worker stopped the ride and came and told my daughter and I we had to get off and go through a door he pointed at. I felt like the bad egg from Willy Wonka – it was so humiliating. I think the worst was having to explain to my daughter what just happened. After that I just broke down, that was horrible.

During our trip we went to visit some old friends we made when we lived in Florida who we had not seen in years – Pete and Yvette (love them!!). When I saw Yvette she was just a 1/4 of the person I knew – I was like where the hell did she go – she looks AMAZING. Well I always thought she looked good, but we were always battling our weight and doing all kinds of diets back in the day together. Funny when you look back and to think that we thought we were so fat, but honestly I would give anything to go back and be as fat as I thought I was then. To think of the days when losing only 30 pounds was the goal to now when it is more like 150.

Anyway – Yvette had never announced she had Gastric Bypass Surgery to anyone and being I only saw few pictures on Facebook over the years I had no idea. It took me quite some time to scrape my jaw off the floor after seeing how thin and beautiful she looked. And here I am double the size I was when she last saw me – talk about feeling like a cow- Moo Moo.

Yvette came clean to me about having the Gastric Bypass Surgery and talked to me about it for hours. She told me everything she had gone through – the ups, downs and in betweens. She made me see the surgery in a much different way then I had ever before. Having the surgery is not a cop out at all – it is a lot of work, it is a tool to help get your life back. I had told her that my doctor had mentioned it and wanted me to consider it, but I was too afraid. Yvette gave me the confidence to take the first step to getting my life back.

When I got home from that vacation I made an appointment for the next Weight Loss Seminar that took place December 2010. Hubby came with me too and we sat listened and asked questions. Weight Loss Surgery has come a long way from the things I knew about it. I left with a much different feeling about it all, a good one. Yes I could chose to continue Yo Yo Dieting which had obviously never worked for me in the past from my history or I could be given a tool that will help me get to a much healthier weight. The risks of the surgery to me were minimal compared to the risks of my health being the weight I was and could potentially get to.

Now don’t get me wrong I worried for months and continued to question my decision up until the day of the surgery, but again the surgery for me always won the battle.

I want to thank Yvette from the bottom of my heart ♥ – if I had never gone to see my old friend I may not have ever taken the steps to my new life. That is what friends are for !!! Yvette still continues to be my inspiration and support and I cannot wait to go back and see her again – this time looking thin and smoking hot myself !!!