Taylor Swift enjoyed an eventful 23rd birthday, with the festivities including gifts from boyfriend Harry Styles and the release of the long-awaited I Knew You Were Trouble music video. Unfortunately, the country singer and X Factor guest star was party to another birthday surprise, and this one was nearly not as welcome: a visit from an armed intruder.

Good thing Taylor Swift spent her birthday in England with boyfriend Harry Styles! A certain knife-wielding intruder apparently expected the singer to be spending the evening at her Nashville home, which is likely why he broke in early this morning.

That’s right, 24-year-old Jacob Kulke was caught breaking into Taylor Swift’s Nashville home, pocketknife in hand. Although Taylor was not around, her security team was, and good thing — it appears that, as crazed as he may be, this Jacob meant business. Officers later questioned the intruder about his attempted break-in. They learned that Jacob had taken a bus to Tennessee to be with his supposed “girlfriend.” Jacob also revealed his disappointment at Taylor’s failure to respond to pleas for attention via social media.

While certain aspects of his explanation are clearly false (for example, his claims surrounding Taylor’s current relationship status), it appears that Jacob did reach out to Taylor on Twitter the other day. A media outlet discovered a Twitter account believed to belong to Jacob. Displayed on the page was a recent shout-out to the lovely T Swift: “Happy Birthday @taylorswift13.” Aww, how sweet. Or not.

Jacob Kulke’s criminal record includes arrests for disorderly conduct, battery and domestic abuse. He is currently being held on $10,000 bond in the Davidson County Jail. We’re glad Taylor’s safe — and that she and Jacob are never, ever getting together.