Disney Is Opening A Brewery And Now You Can Get Drunk In Mouse Ears

So it’s now been pretty well, publicly, established that I am obsessed with Disney. However, it has also been, quite possibly more, established that I’m enthusiastic about all kinds of alcohol (I’m not picky). Essentially, if I was told that I had one day to live, I would undoubtedly fill my Mickey travel mug with something that would make me forget that its my last day on earth, and run around the park as a drunk, happy, dying adult.

Well, it turns out, you don’t actually need to be dying to be able to get drunk in Disney, because Disneyland has revealed plans to create their own brewery this year. Its reported that Ballast Point, a San Diego-based brewery will be opening in the park later this year.

Now, there is a catch. They’re (unfortunately) not going to be letting you throw back a cold one between waiting for Its a Small World and Peter Pan’s Flight; no matter how annoying the kids around you are being. The brewery will be located in Downtown Disney, however, in signature Disney style, will likely retain many, magical elements. Seriously, my dream is to see a group of the employees who dress as princesses, gathered around a table, drunkenly yelling “another round” as they bitch about how creepy all the dads were to them that day.

This is Disney’s first-ever on-site brewery, tasting room, kitchen, and outdoor beer garden, according to Disney destinations. Fingers crossed that this will undoubtedly be a hit among the tired parents, and weird twenty-something who don’t want to let go of their youth, but also enjoy getting plastered, and the company decides to expand this idea to other locations.

It’s promised that this won’t be a regular brewery either. “The location will offer many of the company’s mainstay beers, as well as some new, Disney-specific brews, and a San Diego-themed menu boasting steroid- and antibiotic-free proteins, line-caught fish, and local produce when available.” Think of the possibilities: mouse shaped beer steins, a “princess drink 50% off” night, a beer named after each of the seven dwarfs, depending on how you’re feeling that night. It’s endless.

Marty Birkel, president of Ballast Point Brewing, released a statement on the opening:

As one of Southern California’s premier brewers, for the team at Ballast Point, we couldn’t be more honored to work with such an icon in our great state and become the first brewer at Downtown Disney. We hope SoCal locals and visitors alike will enjoy the wonderful atmosphere, seasonal cuisine, and good cheer (and beer) of our signature tap room experience that we plan to bring to Downtown Disney.

Honestly? I could think of better news. I’m currently factoring in a “beer fund” to the cost of my next vacation..

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Hiding from my mother and standards, both of whom would disown me if they heard most of these stories. Aspiring law school student, with a chihuahua named Bruiser and a head of unnatural blonde hair.
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