God Forbid You Might Have To Deal With STRAIGHT PEOPLE!

16 January, 2005 - 8:00am — NovaCat

I've been hearing about the "gay lifestyle" for a while, and frankly, I think it's a load of bullshit that people constantly spout because it's easier to assume that being homosexual requires one to have a distinctly different "lifestyle" than it is to take homosexuals in as actual people with unique lives. However, there is a phenomenon supports the "gay lifestyle" stereotype: gay neighborhoods.

I've always wondered what the point was of what I think of as "theme" neighborhoods. Obviously, older people wouldn't want to live next door to a young couple who always blast loud music and have parties, and parents with kids would want to live in close proximity to other parents with kids, so they can relate and their kids can have friends. But the purpose of theme neighborhoods escape me. I know that many "black neighborhoods" exist today because in the not-too-distant past, blacks were hundreds of times worse off than whites and forced to live in certain cheap residential zones. However, why do they remain "black neighborhoods" today? Obviously, much of it has to do with continuous unfair income practices and all sorts of fucked up goings on in the education system, but I'm sure that some part of it has to do with many black people feeling more comfortable living around other black people. I'm sure there would be "white neighborhoods" today if that had not been deemed racist. And it is racist, on both parts. Obviously, you shouldn't go out of your way to live next door to someone of a different race, but it seems that self-segregation is far from a myth, and definitely one of the main contributors to an ever-increasingly uncomfortable culture.

This brings me back to my point of a gay theme neighborhood. I have one word to say: Why?! I understand that gay people desire some form of community so that they can feel safer (i.e. less persecuted), but a theme neighborhood is really a regressive, not a progressive step. We're telling ourselves that separation from people who are different is okay, that it is permissible if we feel threatened. It is a grand self-delusion. In creating homosexual theme neighborhoods, we are not only separating ourselves from the real world (which is in dire need of help), but we are creating a very seductive illusion that will no doubt help to reinforce the stereotypes and hatred that is felt towards homosexuals all over the world. We always say that gay parents adopting children has no adverse effect on the childrens' upbringing, but imagine a straight kid growing up in a neighborhood where everyone is gay . . . it would be as difficult, as emotionally distressing, as, say, a gay kid growing up in a neighborhood where everyone is straight . . . sound familiar?

I am a firm believer in diversity, because diversity tends to breed tolerance and understanding. Having a gay neighborhood is the antithesis of everything that people (especially, I would say, homosexuals) support and fight for. We want the world to understand and be tolerant and accepting. The ABSOLUTE WORST way to do this is to cut ourselves off from reality and live in a little fantasy world where we don't have to deal with real, important challenges. It would be a '50s Suburban Dream neighborhood, only with gays instead of straights. In other words, hell on earth. You want to go off and play house in your little dream-world, with picture-perfect houses and jobs (and sometimes kids) and nicely mown lawns, only instead of being white Christians, you'll be homosexuals. The return of "Separate-but-Equal", only we WANT it! How pathetic. That we would willingly sacrifice our ideals for this surreally mundane existence. You don't feel like dealing with real issues, so you just cart yourself off to a nice place where no one fights and no one is disadvantaged and where you can pretend that the world outside of your little bubble doesn't exist except in the newspapers because EVERYONE IS THE SAME!

Though I plan to migrate because homosexuality is illegal where I live, in Malaysia. So in that sense, people like me would be contributing to a sense of there being "gay countries" and "not-gay countries", which is analogous to what your saying. However, like most of us, I would value living my life out in a secure environment over not living it at all (though promoting tolerance). Maybe the difference between living in a gay neighbourhood and a non-gay neighbourhood is insignificant, but between countries, the difference sure as hell is significant.

I really am glad you brought this topic up.But wouldnt you say that kids going up in "gay" neighborhoods would be more free in there sexual expression.There wouldnt be that depression and difficult times like most of us go through.Of course this would be true but unfair if it so happens that the child is straight.Then the tables would have turned and the straigh kid would go through depression instead.And i see no solution to the discrimination if we continue to make gay neighborhoods or even states.I just think its our(gay)outlook
as well as the their outlook(straight) on life and how they percieve homosexuality.Its not gonna be any different in say 5 years.But in 20 or 30 years imagine the perception.it could have gotten better or it could have gotten worse.its up to us.

On the one hand, I think it's necessary for gay people (or any other oppressed people) to have some form of community apart from the mainstream community, and actually, gay neighborhoods like Greenwich Village, Market/Castro, Capitol Hill (in Seattle) and so forth have been around for a long time. Back in the old days, the typical story was some boy or girl who had grown up in an intolerant community somewhere in Middle America and who fled to New York or SF when s/he turned 18 in order to find acceptance.

On the other hand, you're probably right to an extent that it helps to cast gay people as "other." Because there is more acceptance today than there was in the 60s and 70s, I don't think that gay neighborhoods serve exactly the same purpose they did a long time ago. Nevertheless, they do still provide GLBT people with a sense of community they might have lacked wherever they grew up.

Thanks for bringing this subject up! I've been thinking similar thoughts for a while, and I agree that self-segregation and casting oneself as "the other" are huge problems in our society, no matter what the group. At my school we have city kids attend our school on extra funding, and they are mostly black with a few Hispanics. In general, the white and Asian suburbans and the city kids self-segregate themselves. It's really bad.

I do think that it is good for people to have a community where they may feel safe with other people that have the same things in common, but it should not be their whole world. They have to LIVE in the real world, but can go to an accepting community when they need an oasis, perhaps (forgive my pun).

Though this is a far-fetched comparison (I don't have the time to think of a well-constructed discussion, but I wanted to comment as soon as I read it), I think it is similar to people that have different interests going to a community to share those interests. Someone could have maybe a sports community, or a music community, and they can relax and share what they have in common there while they are there. But they shouldn't stay exclusively in that world, as they then wouldn't be able to spread that aspect of their diversity. It would be an illusion that it is the real world, as you said.

Anyway, thanks so much for posting this! Sorry I couldn't formulate a better-thought-out response, but I have very little time.