(this photo can actually be used as a seamless background - more info on page 8)

Think about this for a minute . . . .

Think of one of those timesI just described . . .

Ok, got such an episode in mind ?

Alright,

now,

Tell the truth.

Were you looking at,

or thinking about,

somepretty, frilly, little girl?

Or,was it

a gentle, solid, strong , beautifulguy?

I guess your score is hopefully self apparent. For me it's always been pretty obvious. When all the guys in school started noticing girls, I started noticing them. There was a book, little more than a pamphlet
actually that found itself strategically placed in my room when I was about 13. I don't know where it came from but it discussed sexual issues as they applied to teenage boys. I remember flipping through it that night in bed, after I founds it. I skipped right to the little paragraph on page 17 that talked about messing around
with or gettin woodies with other boys and it assured me that this was a normal phase which I would grow out of someday.

I had a really good time humping the bed that night (I never used my hand to beat off back then, I don't think it occurred to me. That is probably the reason why I am today much more interested in whole body contact rather than concentrating on the 3-4 square inches of
real estate that covers our dick. There is no greater turn-off than guys who won't touch anything but your dick or ones that expect you to touch nothing but their dicks. Anyway, being the sort of kid who was already very comfortable in my own skin, I took the pamphlet's assurance that my desire's objects were perfectly normal at
my age and lost no sleep over my attraction to guys until several years later when I was supposed to grow out of it. To tell the truth (and counsellors take note), at least for me, this simple piece of advice, despite being a lie, got me through the teen years feeling perfectly OK with myself. Now, don't get me wrong. I would
have undoubtedly fared better receiving complete disclosure of the existence of others like me . . . and all around me at that. Or would I have? I probably would have had sex sooner. As it turned out there wasn't too much angst when I was an early adult either but I'll leave that episode
to another page.

If you are a teenager or early twenties, or for that matter anyone who feels much more in the dark about all this now than before,
find some straight talk about gay sexuality and it's emergence during the horniest part of our lives age 11 to 15 for males (and you
know, I can remember not knowing what horney meant). I had a link for a
good reference but its no longer out there so I'll look for more

Some have estimated that as many as 80% of successful teenage suicides are gay males - this kind of dead-end our society places teenage
(and young adult) homosexuals in is both profound and sobering. If one of these is you, e-mail me, tell me what's up, I won't tell anyone but if I'm out of
town or otherwise screwin' around then it may take a few days to a week, but WAIT for my e-mail. I honestly have a perspective that you haven't considered. Those who are hurting like you are hurting are potentially the most valuable in our ranks, not to wage war but to wage love and begin to push back the curtain of fear
that has hidden man from light since the dawn of [un]civilization.