Petty Differences

Well, I used to feel lucky that I had no major complications with my friends and family when I came out Atheist. But, 15 minutes after Obama was re-elected I was defriended on Facebook by my cousin and her husband. I honestly could have cared less about my cousin's husband since he is quite stand offish and the only time I ever see him is at the dinner table on Xmas night (he spends the rest of the day alone in the basement watching tv). However, when my cousin did it, I'll admit, it hurt. I guess her excuse is that she doesn't want to be friends with people who don't share her values. It's pretty sad since there are ways of blocking certain posts, etc... The worst part about all this is she used to be a Protestant Xtian but converted to Mormonism when she got married. My entire protestant family was so mad and scared for her. They thought she was buying a one way ticket to Hell (and they probably still do). The only two people in my entire family who supported her decision was my Atheist brother and I, also an Atheist. When my mom tried to use this defense with my Aunt my Aunt just said, "Well, at least they both (my cousin and her husband) still believe in a god." Quite and ignorant response for such a loving act. I think all of their beliefs are crazy but you'll never hear me put down their beliefs to their faces. They're family and that kind of attitude shouldn't infiltrate the family dynamic and it's just so absolutely sad that this kind of attitude can come from me voting for the wrong person or not believing in the same gods that someone else does. They're both such non issues when it come to family and it is just so hard for me to believe that people can be like this. My anger has since subsided and now I just feel sorry for them that they could be so narrow minded and ignorant. I especially feel sorry for their 3 young kids, one of which has a rather serious brain disorder. When I voted I feel like I voted for this family where Obamacare and stem cell research can help their sick child, Lily Ledbetter for my cousin who is also a teacher and will now have more opportunities to work, her husband who works in the auto industry which has been resurrected by Obama, and expanded Pell Grants for all three kids (and likely more) to be able to afford a college education.

I apologize if this just sounds like puke but I didn't have anything planned out, I just needed to put it out there. It's hard to talk to anyone about this since it seems that the majority of my family thinks I'm just the scum of the Earth for voting for Obama. Thanks for reading!

In the Theists mind Faith is seen as a Virtue. Anyone who has faith deserves automatic respect. So even if someone else’s faith means they worship a different god, well that’s not a bad thing. For “at least they have Faith”. Whereas you are an Atheist, you have no faith!!!

Of course if you try to point out the weakness of such brilliant logic to them you will probably hear the line “Well your Atheism is a religion anyway !!

Have you reminded her in an email how you and your brother stood behind her, when she made her decision? I would say just what you've told us here, about why you voted as you did and how important you believe family should be to its members - after that, the ball's in her court.

I didn't remind them of that but my mom brought it up to her sister (my cousin's mom) and my aunt said some nonsensical bullshit about how we defended her because she believed in god........facepalm for sure.

You have to be true to yourself. Your an atheist. You voted Democrat. You need to be who you are, not who others would like you to be. Better to be loved or reviled for what you are, and not for what you are not.

Do you think your friends/family would respect you more for faking?.

I also have come to understand that Facebook, as a social network site, has some odd attributes. People 'Unfriend" others as a form of insult. The funny thing is, they usually end up with a burning curiosity as to how that person has taken the 'unfriending". They need a receipt for their insult, as it were. That puts the ball in your court. You can amend your settings so they can't see any of your page, or you can post things that you know they would be spluttering to respond to. But I wouldn't.

I would post something that kindly forgives them, understands that they need to cling to their gigantic teddy-bear comfort, and that you have hopes that their own intelligence will one day lead them to be less afraid of their own inner doubts, and more ready to interact with the real world. Kill with kindness. Then sit back and know that they are reading what you posted, and busting to respond.