As you can guess from the title, I don't need anyone to help me in finding f***ed up things. But, in my defense, I'm not the instigator either. I'm the lone wolf who does an excellent job in f***ed up activities all by my lonesome. But my f***ed things skirted the rules.

In high school as the good girl, it wasn't until the day before graduation that I broke the mini-skirt rule. In royal style to boot. As the valedictorian, I was seated on the stage on the 50-yard line in the football stadium. To the graduation run-through the day before, I sported a navy leather mini-skirt. What were they going to do? Not let me graduate? Take away my valedictory speech like they took away all but one of the top academic awards? "You scored the highest in every class. But we need to spread the awards around. So you're only getting one. Which one would you like to be recognized for?"

My fearlessness increased with age. Even today, bungee jumping doesn't seem like too big of a deal. Except I probably wouldn't do it for the same reason I gave up roller coasters. Headaches from being thrown around in the seat. Sigh.

Sure, wearing a mini-skirt to graduation practice and bungee jumping aren't f***ed up by lots of people's standards. But getting sloppy drunk and ending up, as Laoch said to one of his friends, "sun soaked, covered in beer and strippers, and not knowing where my wallet or my car is" isn't my kind of f***ed up. I prefer meeting four men on the beach of Puerto Rico and having dinner with them, followed the next day by meeting one man on the beach and having afternoon tea with him, followed by meeting two men on the beach the next day and having drinks with them. All while vacationing by myself.

As I said, a lone wolf who can find plenty of f***ed up things all by myself. Yep, I am my own worst enemy.

1 comment:

The older I get the most sure I am that embracing adventure, personal predilection and the ineffable is the best road to a life without regret. No one wants to be that person on their deathbed lamenting, if only I had worked less, or said hello to that girl or boy.