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Does the obesity conversation have more to do with aesthetic preferences than with health?

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine posted an essay on Facebook written by Jenny Trout for Huffington Post entitled, "I Wore a Bikini and Nothing Bad Happened."
The photo of Jenny wasn't one you're probably used to seeing. Yes,
images of women in bikinis are a dime a dozen, and any time I write an
article about Jessica Simpson's bikini body, I know a whole lot of women
(myself included) aren't going to be able to resist clicking on it to
see. To compare. Critique. Feel bad about. Feel inspired by.

But this photo was different. Jenny looked happy -- when's the last
time you saw a genuine smile on a bikini-clad woman and not a
please-want-me "glamour pout"? She is young, pretty -- and obese.

Her essay about fulfilling a New Year's resolution to wear a bikini
went viral and has inspired -- and angered -- lots of people. We spoke with Jenny to find out more.

When
Jenny revealed to her friends she was planning to wear a bikini, they
congratulated her and asked which fad diet she had decided to try. She
explained that she wasn't going on a diet but was embracing the body she
had -- in a bikini. She was disappointed to discover that no one would
actually admit to her that they didn't want to see her wearing so little
clothing. It went against the idea society had drilled into their heads
that thin = beautiful and fat = don't even think of wearing a two-piece.

My summary of Jenny's essay really wouldn't do it justice, and I
encourage you to take a few moments and read it, but the great take-away
here is that she said to hell with everybody and wore her beautiful
bikini. And the world went on as if nothing had happened.

Before you wore your bikini at Hunter's Point that day,
what did you imagine might happen? Did you think strangers would react
to you or actually say something to you?

Jenny: I had, as my worst-case scenario, someone
saying something insulting. But I went in thinking, "You know, it's so
unlikely that someone is going to do that. This isn't the Internet, this
is real life." I'm sure there are people out there who are really that
rude, but I was more concerned with, like, grossed-out looks or general
public discomfort.

Why was it so important to you -- a New Year's
resolution, even -- to wear a bikini? How long had you been thinking
about doing this and why was now the right moment?

When the "fatkini" came out last year, I thought, "Oh, no, I would
never be able to do that." But then as I saw it gaining steam online, I
thought, "Well, okay, I'll do it!" And they were impossible to find,
because they sold out so fast. I kind of had this moment of, "Oh good, I
don't have to do it now," and that made me stop and go, "Why can't I do
this?" So I made it my New Year's resolution because then I couldn't
back out.

Did you struggle with your weight as a child? Do you
remember when you first realized people weren't being honest about why
there is this war on obesity?

I wasn't a fat kid. I had periods in my life where I was a little
chubby, you know how kids sort of fatten up and stretch out? I didn't
really start to struggle with my weight until I got pregnant with my
son. But it took me a long time to figure out that our conversations
about obesity have nothing to do with health and everything to do with
physical attractiveness. I was buying into the messages I was hearing
from the media, both directly and indirectly.

So many of the comments below your essay remarked
(kindly) about your confidence. It's odd to ask how you manage to have
so much confidence, because I'm not sure we'd ask a 115-pound woman the
same question AND it implies that a woman's confidence is directly
linked to her weight. But knowing so many women -- both under- and
overweight -- who torture themselves when bikini shopping, I have to ask
if you did the same thing when you purchased your bikini?

I never thought about it that way before. Yeah, I don't think we
really would ask a woman who looks like Rihanna how she got the
confidence to wear a two-piece. But you know, I think there are a lot of
women out there who we'd never think twice about them wearing a bikini
in public, yet they might be out there thinking, "I hope nobody notices
my stomach," or "my thighs still touch and I wish they didn't." No
matter what size we are, no woman has the "perfect" body. All of that
thinking is a trap.

I'm not sure how old you are, but I grew up in a time
when Kate Moss was IT. J.Lo sort of opened up the doors for society to
accept a larger frame, but let's face it, J.Lo is NOT large. Do you feel
it's easier today to be a larger woman? Do you feel the tide is
changing at all or is it still a challenge?

I get what you're saying about the '90s. That was such a messed up time. I remember when Titanic
came out, and Kate Winslet was heralded as a plus-sized actress. If you
go back and watch that movie now, you're like, "that's insane." I don't
think it's easier to be a big woman now, but I think people are
certainly more aware that there's a problem with how fat people are
treated. That's better than it could be, I guess.

As a mom, I'd love for you to basically instruct me on
how I can teach my daughter to love her body. Did your family do
everything right to make you feel good about yourself and, if so,
examples, please!

My family raised me right in a lot of ways, but the women were weight
conscious and kids learn by example. No one ever told me to diet or not
eat this or that, or that I was fat. But when you grow up and all the
women in your life are on diets and complaining about their weight, that
makes an impression. I've made a real effort with my kids to not talk
about weight loss or being fat or just any body negativity in front of
them. I'm hoping that they can understand that while being fat may cause
people to treat me badly, I'm not bad just because I'm fat. If people
can send their kids into the world with that understanding, it would
eliminate a lot of emotional baggage that's attached to our perceptions
of food and weight and fitness, and we'd have less of an obesity
problem. Raise your kids to be kind and understand that they can't judge
a person's life by their looks, and you're doing fine.

Do you agree with Jenny that the obesity conversation has more to do with people's aesthetic preferences than with health?

I think it's a fitting bikini for her body type. I guess I wouldn't mind if I saw her at the beach. I do think that most of the time when strangers mention weight it's for aesthetic reasons. However there are undeniable health issues with being overweight and sometimes family members and friends may mention something out of concern.

I agree that we cry "it's not healthy," but really we mean, "it's not attractive." So many things are not healthy but don't get as much shaming and meanness as fat people, especially fat women. Because, you know, women are supposed to be attractive. That's all they are good for. So, it's especially offensive when a woman is fat or otherwise not attractive. Fat men typically go shirtless at the beach all the time and it isn't revolutionary, it's not even a conversation. A fat woman in a bikini, is a big deal though. So, for instance, she posted a picture of herself in a bikini and lots of people will comment about how it's not healthy. But, if a skinny woman posts a picture of herself in a bikini and she's also holding a coke can, it's not likely that there will be hundreds of people angrily commenting about health.

So true even when I smoked which is like the worst thing you can do the worst I ever heard was oh but you are too pretty to smoke. Never you are killing yourself and everyone around you. There was never a comment made about my health even though I have a tracheotomy hole in my throat! But I'm not over weight or I wasn't then so it was OK.

Quoting Bellarose0212:

I agree that we cry "it's not healthy," but really we mean, "it's not attractive." So many things are not healthy but don't get as much shaming and meanness as fat people, especially fat women. Because, you know, women are supposed to be attractive. That's all they are good for. So, it's especially offensive when a woman is fat or otherwise not attractive. Fat men typically go shirtless at the beach all the time and it isn't revolutionary, it's not even a conversation. A fat woman in a bikini, is a big deal though. So, for instance, she posted a picture of herself in a bikini and lots of people will comment about how it's not healthy. But, if a skinny woman posts a picture of herself in a bikini and she's also holding a coke can, it's not likely that there will be hundreds of people angrily commenting about health.

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