3/21/2006

Bush Speaks Yesterday and Today: Lies, Prevarication, and Bullshit:In his entire scripted speech yesterday in Cleveland, President Bush mentioned 9/11 one time, in a comparison between mosque bombers and plane crashers. However, once he went off script and started taking questions, he contextualized his answers through 9/11 another ten times. It was a psychotic moment, like when you tell a four year-old not to say "Shit" after she hears Mommy yell it in traffic and then that's all the four year-old can say for the next three days. Eventually, the only way to get that child to stop is to ignore her.

But, as ever, it's not the fact that Bush didn't answer the questions people in the Cleveland crowd asked; it's the way that he didn't answer. Right out of the gate, someone asked, "Do you believe this, that the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism are signs of the apocalypse? And if not, why not?" Not once in his entire endless goddamn answer did Bush address what the Clevelander wanted to know, other than "The first I've heard of that, by the way. I guess I'm more of a practical fellow." And then blathering on about his job is to protect us, September 11th, and using "diplomacy" before the military.

If the Rude Pundit were an endtimer, waitin' fer that mighty apocalypse so's Jeeeezus can come on down on a dark cloud fartin' lightnin' to rapture some motherfuckers up to the Great Beyond, readin' the tea leaves fer any glitch in the system that'd say it's all about to go down, he'd be mighty pissed off at Bush's claim that he hadn't heard about it. Ain't that why endtimers voted for him? 'Cause he supposedly was in on the whole deal? And if you deny it, ain't you denyin' you some Jeeezus? And...oh, shit, the Rude Pundit's brain just can't fuckin' take that much rank stupidity from all sides.

The next questioner, wanting to know how we "restore confidence" in our leaders, brought up the pre-war claims: "Before we went to war in Iraq we said there were three main reasons for going to war in Iraq: weapons of mass destruction, the claim that Iraq was sponsoring terrorists who had attacked us on 9/11, and that Iraq had purchased nuclear materials from Niger. All three of those turned out to be false."

In a move that would have gotten Bill Clinton crucified by the press, Bush simply denied he ever said anything of the sort: "First, just if I might correct a misperception. I don't think we ever said -- at least I know I didn't say that there was a direct connection between September the 11th and Saddam Hussein. We did say that he was a state sponsor of terror -- by the way, not declared a state sponsor of terror by me, but declared by other administrations...But I don't want to be argumentative, but I was very careful never to say that Saddam Hussein ordered the attacks on America." And, sure, yeah, technically, he may be right.

So let's see: On February 9, 2003, Bush said, "Prior to September the 11th, there was apparently no connection between a place like Iraq and terror. Oh, sure, he had run some terrorist networks out of his country, and that was of concern to us. But it was very difficult to link a terrorist network and Saddam Hussein to the American soil...The world changed on September the 11th."

Or like, in his 2003 State of the Union, he said, "Before September the 11th, many in the world believed that Saddam Hussein could be contained. But chemical agents, lethal viruses and shadowy terrorist networks are not easily contained. Imagine those 19 hijackers with other weapons and other plans -- this time armed by Saddam Hussein."

But, fuck it, yeah, sure, he told us to imagine a Saddamn-led 9/11, he implied an almost direct connection between the 9/11 terrorists and Iraq, but, no, guess he didn't say, "Iraq attacked America." Tou-fuckin'-che'.

Onward and upward to live-bloggin' today:Every time Bush speaks in this current press conference that's being held as the Rude Pundit types, the layers of irony are almost overwhelming. When Bush says that "Iran is walking away from international agreements," one can almost smell the Geneva Conventions burning.

It's a bullshit press conference. It's a constant repetition of the same nonsense he's been saying since 2001. It's more of the same "I know what I'm doing, you worthless shits, and you just shut the fuck up and believe me." When Helen Thomas attempted to challenge him about why the Iraq invasion happened, it's like he had an early 2003 flashback, talking about oceans protecting us (someone mention that to the bones of the censured Andrew Jackson-tell him that oceans kept us safe in 1812), and then, of all fuckin' things, saying that we had to "disarm" Saddam Hussein. And when dear, ballsy Helen Thomas deigned to ask a follow-up, Bush shoved her into the street, laughing at her broken hip. Mostly, Bush just sounds like Plankton, the evil microbe on Spongebob Squarepants, talking louder so people will think he knows what he's talking about.

"I'm havin' this press conference so I can tell you what's on mah mind. What's on mah mind is winnin' this war on terror," he says. When he talks about winnin' this war, he sounds like a paranoiac who sees roaches out of the corners of his eyes, swatting at phantom bugs because he might actually kill a real one some day.

Just embarassing, this man, this Bush, this President, our President. Like when you see an Alzheimer's patient at a nursing home stare at you, lost in the past, while he shits himself. He doesn't realize it, but you feel so ashamed for him. And for yourself.

Fuck it. The Rude Pundit's tunin' out. More on this nightmare tomorrow.