We can't, nor should we, understand

Mark Collins, who formerly served as associate pastor at the church that saw Sunday's massacre, returned to Sutherland Springs to show support and comfort victims of the shooting that claimed 26 lives, and wounded many more. (Nov. 7)
AP

Community members bow their head to pray during a prayer vigil for the victims of the Sutherland Springs First Baptist Church shooting at Floresville high school stadium on Nov. 7, 2017. (Photo: Courtney Sacco, Caller-Times via USA TODAY NETWORK)

There was a guest preacher at First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs on Sunday. I was a guest preacher at a church in Corpus Christi. They are a vibrant, loving, and faithful community. From all accounts, the church in Sutherland Springs is also such a community. I’m guessing they welcomed the guest preacher much in the same way I was welcomed. With open arms.

We wrestled with the challenge of staying centered in the love of Christ as we seek to navigate the world of chaos around us. We talked about how many ways the unconditional love of God in Christ has been distorted in such negative and destructive ways and how important it is to remember that the true message of grace is one of hope, love, inclusiveness, and service.

I read aloud the passage when Jesus spoke of what it means to be blessed. The poor in spirit. The pure in heart. Those who thirst for wholeness with God. The peacemakers. The meek. Jesus said they would be filled. Filled with things like mercy. He said they would be satisfied. Today, I think of all of those in Sutherland Springs who were seeking God yet, were, in those horrific moments, filled with fear, and pain.

There is no easy formula for facing the harsh realities of life. And yet, I remember Jesus also said those who are persecuted for their yearning for wholeness with God and one another would receive the kingdom of God. And those who mourn will be filled with comfort. Something to cling to in the aftermath.

We shared communion yesterday, and prayers for peace. Prayers of gratitude for our loved ones who have passed before us. I noticed the emotions of these beautiful worshipers as they lifted up names of loved ones. I, too, felt an unusual amount of emotion during the service yesterday. Unknowingly, I wonder if we were also crying prayers for those who were at those same moments being terrorized and murdered. Jesus must have been weeping with us.

During communion a woman came forward with an infant. I knelt down and blessed him with the sign of the cross, whispering he was a beloved child of God. Today I think of the 18-month-old in Sutherland Springs who was met with a weapon of death.

We were vulnerable before God and one another. We connected in sweet joy. Worshipers at Sutherland Springs were met with violence, turning their songs of praise into brokenhearted cries.

I can’t understand it. I can’t understand it. Thank God, I can’t understand it. If it, in any way, made sense to me, I’d lose hope. We must not lose our sense of horror at such violence. These actions must not be normalized or justified. Forgiven, yes, with God’s grace. Healed, hopefully. But, never understood or justified.

There is debate about whether this is a gun or mental health issue. It is a mental health issue. A gun issue. A domestic violence issue. A military veteran issue. A hate issue. And, a United States issue as we are at crisis level of violence.

It is ultimately a human issue, What happens to one of us happens to all of us.

When will we wake up to these complexities? Our very lives, and all we love, depend on it. Can we stop the polarized debating and, together, discern some sane healthy actions? Will we? Our government should lead. Regardless, we must all be willing to do our part. Laws may be legislated, but, changing lives requires transformation of the heart.

This Sunday I will be guest preacher at another church. We will gather together in vulnerability and hope, being once again reminded and reminding each other of God’s love that transcends all hate. I think this Sunday our prayers may be more fervent, more urgent, more of a pleading perhaps.

I was inspired by the words of the pastor of First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs during a news conference. He talked about leaning in to the love of Christ as his center in all things impossible for him to understand. Something to cling to in the aftermath.

The Rev. Jane Pettit of Corpus Christi is a Presbyterian minister at large, guest preacher and retreat speaker, homeless volunteer and publisher of the blog Chewing the Cud at isplainasjane.com .