I’m rather waiting for the day when the cold open to “Saturday Night Live” isn’t a sketch, per se, but just a short message saying, “We’re the Democrats, and we approve this message.”

The show is so aligned with the values of the modern American left that it practically constitutes an in-kind donation to the opposition party.

It pays studious fealty to all the points you would expect: President Donald Trump is a corrupt, bumbling idiot in league with the Russians; Hillary Clinton deserved to win in 2016; conservatives are rebarbative bigots; cops are worse; and America is basically New York, Washington and California with a whole lot of flyover country, which may as well be demarcated “Here Be Dragons” by the Not Ready for Prime Time Cartographers.

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But that’s not the greatest sin. All that would be forgivable if it were remotely funny. It’s not.

And unlike the zillion times that’s been said over the show’s run, this time it’s pretty much scientifically verifiable. Really, find a liberal friend and a lie detector. Have them watch an episode of this season’s ‘SNL.’ Then ask them if any of the laughs it elicited from them were genuine. Fifty bucks says those needles are going to be going up and down like a seismograph during the Loma Prieta earthquake.

If you needed further proof of the show’s drift, I present to you the sketch “Thirsty Cops,” in which two romantically desperate female Baltimore police officers pull over a driver because they think he’s a fine specimen of man:

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Congratulations, Leslie Jones: You’ve now been in something demonstrably unfunnier than that “Ghostbusters” reboot.

Ironically, given the “SNL” cast and crew’s feelings regarding Kanye West as of late, they managed to work in lyrics from his “Gold Digger” without an aside about his mental health. I suppose that’s either restraint or laziness.

Did you find the sketch funny?

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One can witness pretty much every element of how the writers on “Saturday Night Live” feel about the men and women of law enforcement. They’re capricious and cruel, willing to pull someone over simply for their own sexual gratification.

There were plenty of people who didn’t find it funny, particularly because it wasn’t. However, members of the Baltimore Fraternal Order of Police had special reason to take exception with this leaden sketch.

In a letter to Lorne Michaels — the longtime impresario of “SNL” — Baltimore FOP Lodge No. 3 President Lt. Gene S. Ryan objected to the “grossly inapt portrayal” of his city’s officers in the sketch.

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“As you are likely aware, the Baltimore Police Department is currently a very beleaguered agency in the throes of massive amounts of criticism and disrespect,” Ryan wrote, likely referencing the death of Freddie Gray in police custody and the riots that followed.

“The Baltimore Police patches that were attached to the shirts of your cast were worn by each and every member of our agency during their careers,” he continued. “They are worn with extreme pride because, to us, they represent the best that law enforcement has to offer. They are worn by the men and women who run toward the sound of gun fire, while others run away. They are worn by the men and women who save lives and, in over 100 cases in our agency’s history, were worn by men and women who sacrificed their own lives for the safety of others.”

Ryan noted that FOP members “appreciate the fact that Saturday Night Live has long provided our nation with the opportunity to laugh, oftentimes at ourselves.” (He is possessed of a dry wit, it seems.)

However, Ryan noted that the “segment fell short of being humorous and felt, instead, like a sharp jab at a group of people who have dedicated their lives to serving others. Some may think it funny, and clearly you and your cast and crew do as well. We, on the other hand, believe that humor at the expense of our brave membership is not humor at all.”

Well, yes. It’s worth noting here that the sketch could have pretty much used any generic patch on the uniform. A Baltimore police patch wasn’t exactly a stab at realism; it was a shot at the police in an entire city.

It’s not like there are plenty of other components of “Thirsty Cops” that aren’t worth criticizing. It’s a very lazy piece of very mild vulgarity that was supposed to derive its humor from the fact that, tee-hee, police are stupid. Lovely.

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If you’re wearing a Baltimore Police Department badge, however, you have a reason for insult that doesn’t involve your intelligence.

C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between America and Southeast Asia. He became a staunch right-winger at the age of three: While watching a clip of Ronald Reagan, he told his mother (to her great horror), "Mom, I'm a Republican." Except for a brief, scarring and inexplicable late high-school dalliance with Ralph Nader and his ilk, he's never looked back.
Aside from politics, he enjoys literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, jazz, spending time with his wife, drinking coffee and watching Formula One and football (of both American and world varieties). He is the proud owner of a very lazy West Highland white terrier and an extraordinary troublesome poodle mix of indeterminate provenance. His proudest accomplishments include reading the entirety of Thomas Pynchon's published oeuvre.