Man Claims He Was Punched in the Face Because He Looks Like Shia LaBeouf

Mario Licato, a 26-year-old New York City man, was walking down the stairs of the subway this weekend when out of nowhere he was punched in the face. Because he looked like Shia LaBeouf. Not because he was mistaken for Shia LaBeouf, but because he looked like him.

Licato told PEOPLE, “I just saw a fist coming at my face. And the next thing I know I was, like, falling down the stairs and all I heard was, ‘That’s because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf.’ ” He claims he was briefly “out cold” and when he came to he was covered in blood and his glasses were broken. A couple nearby described the assailant as a tall, muscular, “white frat boy.” The witnesses confirmed the DB said Licato looked like LaBeouf.

The NYPD is investigating.

We are investigating whether, unlike Shia, if this doppelgänger is single.

Kelly Chambers is a graduate of the University of Miami, where she double majored in Film and Psychology. This means she excels at overanalyzing things at an advanced level. When she's not filling out job applications she can usually be found at happy hour, at any establishment which serves some variation of spicy tuna, or on her parents' couch playing blackjack on her Kindle.