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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

I know a lot of people like frogs. Heck, even I think the bright green fella who hangs out on my front door is adorable. (Until he starts jumping in my direction, of course. Then he turns into a slimy hell beast who leaves me no choice but to climb shrieking onto John's shoulders to escape the "hop zone.")

Still, I don't really get the whole frog cake thing. Other than my front door buddy, the only other close encounter I've had with a frog was in 7th grade biology, and that one smelled anything but appetizing.

You could argue, and rightly so, that cakes in the shapes of animals are nothing new, so why am I picking on frog cakes?

Well, geez, man, just look at this thing:

He's mean, green, shaped like a tureen, and lookin' mighty PO'd about his toe issues.

(In his defense, those are some serious toe issues. Ouch.)

How's this for a scrumptious specimen?

Wow. PETA could use this guy in an anti-frog legs campaign. How could you possibly cut into that poor, terrified visage? Leave him and his splatted fly tongue alone, you heartless cake murderer!

At least this guy looks happy:

I'm guessing he's proud as punch of that funny little limb beard. Or has his chin sprung a leak?

Here's a sultry little number in honor of Valentine's Day:

This amorous amphibian is ready for romance!And maybe some Visine, since her eyeballs appear to be on fire.

Also for Valentine's, here's a princely gem:

Or should I say princely jewels? (HEYO!!)

Bakers, seriously, I'm all for maximizing your cookie cutter designs, but using that cutter for frogs is, frankly, quite a leap.

If you hadn't told me so, I wouldn't have known any of those cakes were supposed to be frogs, except maybe the Amorous Amphibian. And the Anti-Frog-Legs ad doesn't have any discernible legs. Have already been cut off?

Note to Wreckorators: Just painting anything green does NOT make it a frog.

Personally, I find the idea of cutting into any cake that is made to look like a living creature completely disgusting. Even something as adorable as that Eeyore on Sunday Sweets. Maybe especially with something as adorable as that. At least with these frogs, I would feel like I was putting them out of their misery.

I am one of the frog lovers that you speak of. I love all frogs, real or otherwise, so I would think that frog cakes would just be one of the best things that could ever happen to me. Um, yeah....not so much.

I think to make up for what you have done to me, you need to get busy for a sunday sweet of the most amazing frog cakes. I know they are out there!Thanks anyway,Becky

Appropriately, number two gives new meaning to the phrase "potty mouth", seeing as to how it is completely constructed of icing "poo". Maybe it caught a bee instead of a fly and discovered it's allergic, or perhaps it is simply hopped up on grass...

I know that the red coil on the first one is supposed to be the tongue and the black line the mouth. I *know* that. For some reason, though, I look at it and see the mouth as the nose and the red as something really gross coming out of it.