Posts Tagged ‘women

One of the most common complaints from men is that it is very hard to understand women. on the other hand, I feel so frustrated that men don’t understand us women – and I am by no means alone. That is something that may have contributed to my latest breakup, and a few others before that. One of the usual things that bring a relationship to a head is when men, unintentionally for the most part, offend women with the things they say.

Men don’t know women. And perhaps they never will.

It’s funny just how long men have been chasing women and how far the human civilization has come but men still find women a total mystery. Except for the chosen few amongst the male lot who have mastered the SIBG guide on humor seduction or called themselves experts in women (aka playboys and gays), men still make the same mistakes their ancestors did. Forgotten dates, inappropriate gifts, and more commonly, wrong remarks are the top three on the women’s offense list. And mind you, it is wrong.

5 things you shouldn’t tell her.

And since wrong remarks are the most common offense (and oftentimes, the most offensive), here’s a little heads up to every man out there. Here are 5 things a woman would never want to hear from her man:

“You don’t look good in that dress”.This becomes extra offensive if she dressed and made up for hours to go out with you. Boy, remember this: she wants you to appreciate her, and she just definitely wants you to be proud of her, and be proud to be walking around with her. Not so much for being a trophy girlfriend, but it does not harm our female egos for our men to show us off.

“Did you gain weight?”The only way this statement is non-offensive is if your girlfriend is underweight and is working hard on gaining weight. But for the most of us, we are in a constant battle with weight gain, expanding waistlines, and arms that seem to be in a size competition with the size of our legs. Why not try “Have you lost some weight?” for better results? [15]

“My ex *insert verb here* so much better!” of “My ex is *insert comparative adjective here*”. Even when you didn’t mean it to belittle your girlfriend, anything that tells her that she’s inferior to your ex-girlfriend in any way is offensive and could land you in the couch for several nights, along with several servings of the cold shoulder! Seriously, how would you feel if you get compared to your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend? You likely wouldn’t like it knowing the average size of the male ego! (Oh and one other tip: any mention of the ex would similarly merit the same amount of rage from your girlfriend so just avoid it at all costs anyway).

“You’re just like your mother”. Mother-daughter relationships are as sweet as it is competitive. And definitely not all women appreciate being compared to their own moms, mostly because they get a lot of that at home. You are likely to be opening up old wounds if you drop this type of bomb and she may never forgive you for it.

“It was nothing, not a big deal!” A woman makes a big deal out of everything, that’s for sure. And if you made a mistake, if you did something that’s obviously wrong and made her upset, the last thing you’d want to do is shrug it off as something that’s “not a big deal” and try to get away with it, or worst, justify it.

I have always been attracted to cheerful, confident, well-groomed and well-bahaved men. It also helps if the guy can make me laugh at the drop of a hat. But then perhaps the attraction to the foregoing traits is not unique to me – perhaps it is a general description of a man who is attractive in women’s eyes. You guys better pay attention!

Throughout history, the world has seen how men have walked lengths to become more attractive to women – to get their attention, to keep them hooked, to make them the alpha males to their dominant women. We’ve seen everything from elixirs of handsomeness to tests of wits and brawn just to catch the eye of the ladies. Some have worked, some have not, and to this very advanced day and age of high technology – many men are still clueless about how to become attractive to women.

The problem with men and their quest for ultimate attractiveness is that they make it too difficult and too complicated. And worse, they ask each other. How can another man talk authoritatively about what is attractive to women? Of course that’s something that can best be answered by no less than yes – women.

Boost Your Attractiveness!

And here’s one tip from a woman to a man – the secret to being attractive, to boost your attractiveness, on how to seduce her from her boyfriend, is simple. It is so simple that you can easily make a habit out of it. Here are 5 habits that can boost your attractiveness:

Smile more often. A smile is a woman’s perfect accessory. And it can be that of men too! Strive towards achieving the kind of smile that goes from the lips to the eyes. Smile an electric smile – one that makes the other person smile back at you by instinct not by will. This very simple, very basic gesture is so powerful that it can help condition an otherwise sad mind into thinking more positively without so much effort. And a smile can be so gentle and so subtle yet powerful enough to make any person cozy up to a total stranger. Smiling makes you look friendly, comfortable and nice – and this is very easy for any woman to ease up to. Smile and the world – including the women – will smile back at you.

See this to see an article that will help you more to improve your appearance.

Practice good hygiene. He who smells good is more attractive than he who looks good. And so make sure you smell as clean as you look. Practice good hygiene – this gives women the impression that you are very composed, responsible, and that you are in total control of yourself. If you take care of yourself well, it sends the message that you will take great care of your woman too. So don’t be afraid to take a shower, wear clean clothes, and brush your teeth regularly.

Exude confidence – fake it if you have to. If you can walk with your back a little more straight, and your head held much higher, and you can look people in the eye even when your heart is about to jump off of your chest, you have successfully radiated confidence. And if you do it a bit more regularly, you can make people believe – women, especially – that you are indeed a confident man. With a bit of practice you can learn to be really more confident. And confidence, my friends, is always attractive.

Develop humor. If you can squeeze in a bit of fake confidence into an intelligent humorous remark, you can get a woman hooked in any conversation. And any guy who can keep a woman’s attention in a conversation will seem more attractive than a man who could not mutter a word. This has been proven time and again, and it will continuously prove true at any date and any era.

Be a gentleman. Even when the rest of the world says that chivalry is dead, you can always bring it back to life. Not only will your lady of interest appreciate it, more importantly, her mother will love you for it. So if you want to win points for being an ideal boyfriend, be the consummate gentleman.

Remember, it only takes 21 days to make something a habit so try these things out with a lot of patience and practice – plus consistency – to reach your ideal level of attractiveness.

I’ve always believed that too much text is bad for you. Alright there may be some word play involved in that statement but you cannot deny that text is just too impersonal; I am definitely not a fan of SMS. But if you must use text to communicate with us women, there are certain unwritten rules you need to follow.

Do you know how to properly text a lady?

See, technology has made communicating with the opposite so easy and so fast that a lot of men think getting girls to like them through text is just as easy. Of course that’s a big misconception. Before you jump into a texting spree with her, read this to learn why some men are unsuccessful in using text messages to attract women.

Texting requires certain etiquette. You can’t just text her anything you like. Unless you know proper SMS etiquette I would advise against spending all night texting a lady. Gentlemen, I present to you the do’s and don’ts of texting women:

DO’s

Use correct spelling and proper grammar. Okay, so replacing ‘you’ with ‘u’ and ‘okay’ with ‘ok’ are perfectly acceptable. BuT iF yA texXxt lyK dizZz, please by all means go back to first grade. That way of texting is NOT COOL and it’s hard to understand. It does not make your message any sweeter or you any more attractive. Au contraire, monsieur. Show the lady some respect by speaking with her nicely, politely, and correctly.

Text at a decent hour. So there’s this girl that you really, really, really, really like and you just cannot wait for the next sunrise to text her. What do you do? Text her? WRONG! A decent hour to text is within the usual office hours and dinner and maybe a little after dinner. Even in this day and age, initiating a conversation at 10 in the evening is a little rude. And when she says goodnight, it means ‘I’m done texting with you for the day’. It’s totally none of your business if she texts someone else or stays up all night watching her favorite TV series. Goodnight means she’s done for the day.

Keep your conversations fun, light, and wholesome. Avoid topics that are provocative or gearing towards offensive, especially those with sexual connotations. Unless you really know each other so well and you have reached that level of comfort, some topics are just off limits. The problem with most people is that they take the mask of texting too far; just because she does not see you at the moment does not mean you can be careless with your remarks.

DON’Ts

Don’t flood her with texts. When you’re in the getting-to-know-each-other stage, the ideal ratio of text is 1:1. That means text from you and 1 reply from girl. If she does not reply, you are not to text her again. Stop making excuses like ‘maybe the network messed up and the message did not get through. Here, let me resend it. See here how to ask a girl out – the definitive guide.

Don’t freak her out by sending anonymous texts. Really? You cannot think of a good enough excuse or pickup line? Laaaame! Sending her creepy texts like ‘I can see you from here’ and ‘you looked cute in that orange dress today’ will not make her blush from bashfulness; it will make her red in a mixture of fury and fear; she might just have you tracked and arrested for stalking.

Don’t get mad at her for not responding. Ok, so women fall for jerks. But don’t become one just because you think she’ll like it. Some people actually do have a life, mister. If you spend the whole day texting her and expecting her to answer each one – promptly – then be prepared to see her off. Give her some mystery, something to think about. Don’t bore her too soon.

Maybe the physical and mental renewal you are looking for can be found through ancient body and mind conditioning techniques. Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

What’s up guys? I hope you’re all as happy with your relationships as I am.

Of course it did not start out that way. I had to go through the dreaded first date. You know the feeling – you don’t know what to expect and are nervously hoping everything goes great. Knowing that being nervous does not help is no consolation at all. But there are some things you can do to calm yourself and regain your confidence before that all-important first date.

First dates are as wonderful and as exciting as they are scary. Those are the moments – a few good hours – in our lives when nature lets all the butterflies descend upon our tummies and send us into a crazy frenzy of anxiety.

More often than not, it’s the more important and more valuable dates that cause the most anxiety. We girls have lots of ways to ease pre-date jitters. There’s always the BFF to vent out to hours before the actual date. There’s always yoga or a cup of calming jasmine or chamomile tea to ease the nerves. And of course, grooming up is one of the best, most effective ways to ease them butterflies in the stomach before a date.

But how do men cope? If you’ve come as far as booking a first date, it means you’ve been successful and probably won’t need tips about how to meet girls. How do men ease their tensions to be calm and relaxed before a date? You can’t possibly call up your best guy bud and giggle and squeal like a little girl, can you? And so here are some manly tips to help relax and calm you down before a first date:

A glass of wine or a shot of scotch will go a long way. Did you know that alcohol was once used, medicinally, to help calm the nerves? There’s nothing like a good glass of wine or some scotch on the rocks to help ease your nervous energy. Gulp it down before going to your destination or drink some right before your date arrives. Don’t drink more than a glass of it though – especially when you’re driving – that is if you want to avoid looking like a complete idiot! And don’t do it every time you have an upcoming date because alcohol can do more harm than good, too.

Exercise. Right before taking a shower, sweat out some energy. Box around, run around the neighborhood or run up a few flights of stairs. Maybe even swim a lap. Those jitters are excess energy and the only way to calm them is to release them. Don’t tire yourself too much though.

Look good. More often than not, jitters are a result of your lack of confidence. Boost yourself by looking great and smelling even better. What makes you look great will make you feel great, and vice versa. There’s really nothing to worry about your looks anyway. You look great champion!

Psyche yourself up. It’s just a date. It’s just one of the many dates. Don’t make a big deal out of it. No one’s going to slash your throat or strangle you to death if you don’t make too much of an impression. Everything that you’re scared about – it’s all in your head. Your doom scenarios are all in your head and never in reality. So why worry? She’s bound to be just as worried as you are anyway!

Dates are fun, exciting, and could lead you to find that one true love of your life. Don’t let your irrational fears and weird case of nerves get the best of you. And hey, don’t forget to pick her up! You’ve earned that date; therefore there must be something great and date-worthy about you. You are one awesome guy so don’t let your worries hang a cloud over your awesomeness. Have fun!

Hello dear readers! It’s good to be back with another post about dating.

I’ve always felt that a guy should pick up his date. It may be just me but that’s how I feel about it. And I am always attentive when the guy comes to pick me up; I’m always looking for subtle clues about his character. Is does he open the car door for me? Does he make sure I am comfortable before driving off? Does he drive carefully? Etc. And, yes, I expect to be delivered safely back home after the date.

Chivalry is not dead, and even the slightest hint of it will still earn you points with most women. Unless, of course she takes your chivalry as an indication you’re not treating her as an equal, the simplest gestures will definitely be well appreciated.

When going out on a date, dating experts always suggest at picking up your date. Some women may be wary of doing this on a first date, especially if she hardly knows you, and softens up to the idea only after three, four, or more dates. However, it is always safe to offer. If she declines, respect her decision graciously. If she accepts, well then keep reading mister! How to attract a woman and make her like you are two different things. You’ll need to know how to properly pick up a woman for your date:

Be on time. Whether you are picking her up or not, a man should never make his lady wait. It is just rude. Ideally, when picking her up, arrive about 15 minutes early to give yourself enough time to make an impression on her. You are also giving yourself enough time to prep up a bit before presenting yourself to her. This is the best time to dab on some man cologne too.

Since you are making yourself smell good for her, make the most out of it by putting it on just before you knock on her front door.

If you are driving a car, always make sure you park in front of her house or at least close to it. Make sure she does not have to walk far from her door to your car. If you are taking a cab, you may want to ask the cab driver to wait for you guys so she does not have to stand on the curb for long while you try to get another cab.

Bring her something. A small token, a bouquet of flowers, or a bottle of wine or champagne will do. Some sweet stuff will do too. Just as when you have dinner over at a friend’s, a small token is a sign of courtesy. We know you hate buying flowers, but women love them. It does not have to be extremely expensive or grand; even the smallest thought is enough. For a date, a floral bouquet is most ideal. If she lives with her parents, siblings, or friends, an ideal gift would be something that everyone will enjoy – a sweet cake, wine, or something similar would be nice.

Take her home. Drive her home. If you picked her up, common courtesy calls for you to bring her home. Don’t be a jerk. And don’t just sit there at the driver’s seat! Get out of the car and see her safely inside her house before you leave. You’ll never be invited over for some after-dinner date if you just drop her off and drive off like a school bus.

And while at it, don’t forget to be a complete gentleman – helping her to her seat, holding her arm gently while walking, opening the door and car door for her, etc. Remember, she’s your date – not your business partner.

Do you ever wonder why the good guys don’t always win? I have. And even in my own choices, I sometimes second-guess myself. Why did I choose an obviously inferior person over someone even I would consider a “good catch?” A friend enlightened me by explaining that it is often a combination of the natural women’s psyche and “marketing” on the guy’s part that seals the deal. To understand what lessons good guys can learn from jerks, read on.

So you’ve been friendzoned. Or you’ve been dumped. And chances are, you have been turned down for the class jerk. You look at your face in the mirror and all you see are disappointment, misery, and a huge blow to your already shattered ego.

You can’t help but ask: why? And then you look at the jerk who took the girl home – along with all the other girls – and continue to ask: why, why, why?

You look at yourself once more and think: you’re nice, you’re loyal, you’re sweet and sensitive, you know how to listen, and she even says you’re ideal and that she’d be so envious of the girl who gets to go home with you. She says all those nice things about you and yet, she goes home with the a-hole.

Why? Here are some of the reasons why girls fall for jerks (and the lessons you can learn from these douche bags too):

Girls love the ego. Girls hate cocky guys, or so we say. Truth is, much as we hate it, girls are attracted to men who can handle themselves, who know themselves well, and who are secure about themselves. Girls find these men attractive because they believe that these men will handle them well. Or they would like to test whether or not women can actually hurt the male ego. If you’re the nice guy, you probably have to learn a thing or two about ego. You have to boost your self esteem so you appear confident. But because you’re the nice guy, you know where the line is drawn between arrogant and confident. Isn’t that just wonderful and absolutely attractive?

Girls like playing mommy. Ever wonder why girls are dating jerks who would not even lift a finger to prepare his own coffee? Who couldn’t even pick up the phone? Who couldn’t handle themselves after a few bottles of alcohol? And then the girl comes to the rescue even when she knows he’s flirted all night with every female creature at the bar? Well, that’s just her maternal instinct working. Women love being needed, taking care of someone, to be the go-to girl when he’s down and troubled – the be the bigger person, selfless and caring and doting like a mother. Ask the guys over at sibg.com and they’ll tell you I am right! When you’re dating some girl and don’t want to be friendzoned, try being a little needy. Call her when you’re sad, ask her for help on what to get your mom, or get her opinion about how to celebrate your birthday. No, you don’t have be a total douche to let a girl feel needed. It’s all but a matter of balance.

Girls have a weird sense of heroism. He’s cheating. He’s a drunk. He parties a lot and leaves her alone. He wouldn’t even get her anything for her birthday. But she stays. She does not entertain other guys but him. Why? Because somewhere deep in her heart, she hopes and believes that she could be the one to turn this brute of a man around. It’s called the Messiah complex, and a lot of women have it. It just takes a little work and some tearful nights. If you want a girl to fall for you, ask for her help and let her know that you’ve become better because of her. That she’s “saved” you from yourself. (But please don’t overdo it!)

Sorry guys, I just feel the need to post this. I’ve done you a favor by just putting the acronym on the title. Too much info, right? But hey, if you’re going to deal with this EVERY MONTH, might as well be well-equipped than sorry!

So what’s PMS? (It’s not as gross as you think!)

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS) – a monthly occurrence in a woman’s life that comes the week of or before her period; largely believed to be caused by fluctuations in her hormones; characterized by any or a combination of weird food cravings, exaggerated fickle mindedness, moodiness, being temperamental, being highly emotional, or all of those symptoms combined; also known as “every-boyfriend’s-worst-monthly-nightmare”. And no, it’s not just being clingy!

I have read about us girls not using PMS as an excuse to be mean and less than agreeable towards our dear darling boyfriends countless times already. And yes, I couldn’t agree more. It is the most unfair of things.

We experience different kinds of pains during PMS. We just need understanding.
But let me be the voice of all the women out there and allow me to give you fool proof tips for boyfriends on how to handle girlfriends on PMS. (These are inspired by how my own boyfriend handles my seemingly impossible moods in the midst of my PMS).

What to Do

Feed her. What else can be better than food when your hormones are having a party at your expense? Indulge them on foods that release happy hormones like chocolates and other sweets like ice cream. I’ve heard, too, that bananas have that same power so go ahead and get her the most beautiful banana split in the world. Oh, but of course it wouldn’t hurt to bring her whatever her favorite food is.

Get her to be productive. I’ve noticed, amongst me and my friends, that we get extra “clean” with our surroundings on the days leading up to our ‘red days’. We clean out our bags, our rooms, our houses – everything. And so, when she’s on her PMS, offer to help her with cleaning the difficult parts of the house like the ceilings or change her busted lights for her.

Workout with her. Even when it’s supposed to be the crankiest and laziest of days, PMS days are crucial to having a pain-free period. Working out the week before her period will help ease the muscles of the belly and the pelvis, thereby reducing the chances of getting cramps on “the day”. Encourage her to sweat it out with you at the gym and use this bit of ‘science’ to encourage her especially if you know that she is a prone to cramps. I heard yoga is awesome.

Cuddle when she needs it, let go when she say so. Some girls get quick bolts of pain in the belly and pelvis even before the first day of period comes. Oh, and to most of us, our skins become very sensitive and we say ‘ouch’ more often and even for the slightest of touches. In my case too, I always feel like I need to do number 2. Good thing I can now bring with my iPad with me. My toilet read would always be with me.

When she feels the pain, rub her belly gently or cuddle with her. It never fails to make us feel comfortable. But let go when she says doesn’t feel like it or risk unleashing the kraken. We can take all the painkillers in the market and still not get enough relief. So lend us a hand (literally).

Make her laugh. This part is challenging but I’m very proud to say my boyfriend is very good at this. The thing is, we sometimes even feel depressed during this period. My eyebrows could be meeting in an epic frown and I may be the spawn of the devil for all he cares – he will try his best to make me laugh. And somehow he makes it work!

These things sound like a lot of work but then again, it will always depend on two things: how much you care for your girl and/or how much you want to avoid her awful PMS moods. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS SO PLEASE BEAR WITH US! We get headaches and pains all over our body. And this is every month. We just need you to understand.

How about you guys, what do you usually do to help your girl feel better on PMS days?

You might want to ask if she wants to attend my Yoga and Meditation class here.