Breasts Are Complicated

So, I was reading this post at an escorts website, and found myself laughing at these lines in the post:

For women, breasts are just another part of their body but for men they are one of the most arousing and attractive thing in the opposite gender. Men simply love them and this has always intrigued women and others.

We women are very aware of the power of our breasts, thank you very much. And we needn’t be a female escort or other sex worker to know it either.

We women know breasts are arousing & attractive — even to the point of distraction. This power is, unfortunately, something we must modify or at least prepare ourselves to address. Not just in terms of fashion, or even bra shopping; but in terms of modifying our own bodies.

In a society where “bigger is better,” especially for boobs, many of my smaller-busted sisters feel they are unfairly mocked as being “less than.” And still many are additionally, unfairly shamed when they opt to enlarge their breasts with implants. *sigh* They just can’t win.

But my experience lies in the opposite direction. I can tell you that having large breasts isn’t easy. And not only because women with large breasts are hyper-sexualized either. There’s the physical pain too.

In fact, as obesity and being overweight continues to be a big problem in much of the Western world, one of the more silent health issues is that of larger breasts. Men can suffer from this too, but it is especially a very real problem for overweight women. According to Stephen Hamilton, a member of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, a large pair of breasts can weigh up to 9 pounds — that’s the equivalent of three bottles of wine! Just imagine how uncomfortable that would be? Yet, in the UK, where national health coverage includes breast reduction surgery, people are complaining that the government covers such surgery.

Speaking of breast reduction… I think we all know how territorial men are about their wives breasts, often worried or even negative when we consider breast reduction — heck, this issue was even covered on the 18th episode of Season 4 of Roseanne (originally February 11, 1992), when Dan didn’t want Roseanne to reduce the size of her breasts, even when she had such bad back pain. But, hey, her pain’s supposedly secondary to his sexual desires, right?

Our breasts, no matter their size or function, are far too often seen as belonging to the culture at large rather than to our own bodies. This includes something as natural as breast feeding — and whether or not your nursing bra is “too sexy.” And that certainly includes the thoughts of men. Even those who would not consider themselves as having a breast fetish.

My point is, while there are many times we women might wish our breasts were “just another part” of our bodies, we know that they are not.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when we women, escorts or not, wish to show off our racks — enjoying in exploiting the power of our breasts over our partners.

Then we look for something sexy to wear, like this pretty red & pink lingerie — and matching shoes! — modeled by one of the lovely Sydney escorts. (I tried to find something like it; but as it’s likely Australian, I had no luck. If you know where, do share!)

But that’s just some times; other times, as noted, we (and I feel free to include escorts here as well) simply wish breasts were just another body part & we could peacefully live out our day without comment, cat calls, coercion, or other cultural demands.

I tried to have this conversation with some (hetero) men friends. But they just didn’t get it. They said things like, “You can’t have it both ways,” and categorized breasts as “sex parts.” But none of that’s really true.

Breasts do more than, well, serve as attractive pleasure centers. They feed babies. Yes, breasts may be sexy. And they may be a fun part of sex itself. But they aren’t “all sex all the time.” This, and the multi-functional aspect, render breasts similar in status to the male penis. Sure, the penis is for sex; but it also exists for another function. So, gents, just imagine if there was an equally sexually exploitative and humiliating set of rules about your parts. For example, what if you could no longer allow your penis to perform its other function in any public place? As in you could no longer urinate in public restrooms because you were showing off your dick. Sure, a penis has another function (it’s referred to as a “pee-pee” often enough); but what if culturally we labeled that part as “just for sex” and regulated it? Women aren’t allowed to breast feed in many places for those same reasons. Yet feeding babies is just as natural — and, I daresay, far less unsanitary! — than urinating. (Which is why I find sending mothers and babies to restrooms for nursing is so icky!)

How would men like it if their family jewels had to be front & center, sexually so, on show all the time — even when beneath clothes? Would you enjoy underwires to sculpt and lift, magnify and amplify, your junk so that it would perpetually be observable and, therefore evaluated for size as well as judged for how well it — and therefore you — conformed not only to cultural standards but related assumed behaviors as well?

Those of you who say it would be fine are either not really entertaining the idea — or only doing so in a fantasy way (statistically speaking, that would be enjoying small penis humiliation). Because the truth is, if you suffered such visual and social scrutiny every day — from job and sexual performance to everything in between, you wouldn’t like it. And I mean that “everything in between”; even at my last trip to the doctors’ office, with a sick kid, I was ogled in the waiting room. It is so wearying to deal with this breast obsession every minute. Imagine if it was your body being so constantly judged.

Plus, there’d be that whole “wait til you get home to pee” thing.

Rather exhausting, right?

My male friends dismissed all this; I hope, dear reader, you are much better at comprehension.

*takes a deep breath to calm down*

So, yeah, this woman is very, very, aware of just how much — and how often — men think of breasts.

And I’m not surprised in the least, as the original article states, that the most popular search among men seeking escorts is “busty.”

While it is perfectly acceptable, in my opinion, to consider such things as breasts when looking for a sex worker or a pure sexual encounter, I wish the world would realize that’s really the only time it’s appropriate.

5 Responses to "Breasts Are Complicated"

[…] So, I was reading this post at an escorts website, and found myself laughing at these lines in the post: For women, breasts are just another part of their body but for men they are one of the most … […]

Indeed, “My male friends dismissed all this.” I used to call the mens underwear you were referring to as “bulgers”. I was never fooled, it seemed to me that anyone (male) who wore those had a condition found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) under the heading of Narcissism. But then I discovered quite awhile ago that women are right, most men ARE (narcissistic) pigs. Not all of them agreed but still… I can’t imagine an entire life of having my image tied to a large pointy thing put on public display and subject to constant commentary. Now boobs are nice, but they really belong to the woman and whoever (if so desired) they want to share them with. She should be able to (or not) display them as she wishes and not be judged as this or that. When will that happen, don’t ask me (sigh), all I know is I am tired of apologizing for one of my chromosomes being shorter than the other (oh wait, that’s similar to what we are talking about)

My Cross-Dressing Crushes

The Hem Of The Blog

Do you like vintage lingerie? Does chiffon make you swoon? This place will keep you busy for a long time! The author posts a lot of pictures of old lingerie ads, current retro lingerie, and such. There is also a nod to vintage erotica and a lot of good humor as well. An example of this was the commentary on an old bullet bra photo, "It's difficult to say which is pointier in this vintage lingerie photo: the heels, bullet bra tips, or the eyeliner corners." I'm sure that if I chased down all the links provided here, I'd be busy for quite awhile. An enjoyable read with lots of neat pics.