“You Are Rich” Tells Me Stuff That I Already Know

At $99.99, You Are Rich by 15-year-old developer Mark Gurman is one helluva steal. Jam-packed and over-flowing with unbelievable features that will make your eyes hurt, this once-in-a-lifetime iPhone app will last for years to come and generate massive riches for Apple and quite possibly end America’s economic crisis. If you haven’t already pulled out the assortment of credit cards from your spouse’s wallet/purse, go out and buy this app and spread the word. The end of the recession is imminent! Trust me.

App Store Decription:

Following in the hallowed footsteps of the legendary Armin Heinrich is no simple task. Inspired by his mega-hit I Am Rich application, I hope to fool at least more than the 8 dimwits who so casually handed a thousand bucks apiece. In my superior state of genius-ness in Algebra class one day, an epiphany struck me like Kanye West kindly reminding me that “Armin Heinrich had one of the best iPhone applications ever!” The epiphany was startling and yet revolutionary. What failed Mr. Heinrich in the end was not the application’s content itself, but rather the cost! Coupled with the paralyzing effects of the fledgling economy, I realized that a $999 price point was a tad bit too high.

After much deliberation with my inner-self, I came to the conclusion of starting the price of my wonderfully-designed You Are Rich application at a discounted $99.99. So folks, if you fail to purchase You Are Rich within the following 48 hours, the price will go up to $998.99. Reap the awesome benefits of my generous 89.991% discount while you can. Because if you don’t, you’ll be pooooooooor!