About Me

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

2003;
416 pages. Book 1 of the High Druid of Shannara trilogy, a subset of the Shannara series.
New Author? : Probably not, but I could be wrong. Genre : Epic Fantasy. Overall Rating : 6½*/10.

The Ard Rhys has disappeared into thin air! Literally.
In her locked bedchamber, guarded by a squad of uber-loyal trolls, and
with magic spells surrounding the room to ward off any who might have
mastery of the druidic arts.

Of
course, she might have purposely wandered off on a field trip. She’d just been on one of those a short time
ago. But she would almost certainly have had the rock
troll Kermadec, accompany her. And
surely she’d tell Tagwen, her trusted servant, of her intended
whereabouts. It’s also possible someone
killed her, but why then wouldn’t the corpse be there in the bedchamber?

Well, rumors are already sprouting up that the troll guards are to
blame. That leaves Tagwen to start the
search for the missing Ard Rhys.

But where do you being to look for someone who vanished
without a trace and without any notice?

What’s To Like...

Jarka Ruus(which means “The Banished People” in Shannarian) is the first book in
Terry Brooks’ High Druid of Shannara
trilogy. Brooks has been writing stories
set in Shannara since 1977, and is still doing so. This particular series checks as the seventh
sub-series, with the ninth one currently in progress.

I
may or may not have read one of the Shannara novels a long time ago, even long
before this blog came into existence.
The trilogies are interconnected, but that was not a problem this time around, as Terry
Brooks spends considerable time incorporating the backstory into the book. Still, this is one of the few instances where
I felt like I was missing a lot by not having read the books of the earlier series.

The writing is geared towards YA, or perhaps even juveniles. The emphasis is on the storytelling, and the
plotline is straightforward and not particularly complex. The story was a bit slow to begin with, as
the author takes time to develop the intrigue, but once we get beyond that into
the “quest” portion, the pace is brisk and the action is nonstop.

There is a definite LOTR feel to Jarka Ruus. You have a Frodo (Pen), a Gandalf (Ahren), and even a Gollum (Weka Dart); all out on a seemingly impossible mission. But have no worries, the storyline here goes its own way, and there's nary a hobbit to be seen.

There’s
a cornucopia of critters to meet and either greet or flee from, and that’s a treat in any Epic Fantasy tale. There’s
also some dimension-hopping here, and I’m always kewl with that. A couple maps are placed at the beginning of
the e-book, but the descriptions of the lands were vivid enough to where I didn’t
have to make use of them.

I
liked that the Druids (think “magic users”)were portrayed
neutrally. Some are good, some are evil;
and the former are not necessarily more powerful than the latter. The same applies to our protagonist, Pen,
whose magic “talent” is being able to “communicate” (more or less a gift of empathy)with plants and animals. It comes in
handy when traipsing around in the wilderness, but when wizards start throwing
fireballs at you, it isn’t worth much.

Kewlest New Word...

Brume(n.)
: mist or fog.

Excerpts...

“My brother is
off visiting the Prekkendorran,” she said, brushing Ahren’s concerns
aside. “He gives little thought to
me. For the most part, he doesn’t even
know where I am. He doesn’t know now, as
a matter of fact.”

Ahren looked at
her. “Does anyone?”

“Mother.”

He nodded. “Your passion for the Druidic arts, for
elemental magic’s secrets, can’t sit well with her. She sees you married and producing
grandchildren.”

Khyber
grunted. “She sees poorly these days.”(loc. 2221)

They were
trapped. The Gnome Hunters were already
spreading out, moving through the crowded room like wraiths. (…)Penn thought of fleeing through the kitchen,
but he didn’t know if it led outside or not.
His mind raced, seeking a way of escape.
Maybe Molt didn’t know they were there.
He didn’t seem to. He was
standing in the middle of the room, black cloak shedding water on the wooden
floor, hard eyes scanning the room. It
was dark back here. He might not see
them.

Cows might fly,
too.(loc. 3979)

Kindle Details...

High Druid of Shannara – Jarka Ruuspresently
sells for $1.99 at Amazon.
The other two books in the trilogy, Tanequil
and Straken, go for $4.99 and $7.99
respectively. You can also buy the three
e-books bundled together for $17.99, but if you go this route,
you really need to bone up on your math.
Terry Brooks has a slew of other e-books to offer, generally ranging
from $1.99
to $16.99.

“Ultimatums are the last
resort of desperate men.” (loc.
4670)

I had some issues with Jarka Ruus. One of them
was the glaring deus ex machina in
the form of the King of the Silver River.
He conveniently pops up at a crucial time to hide our heroes from a pursuer,
and then clairvoyantly tells them what magic artifact to
search for. Yet somehow, he can’t tell
them where
the magic artifact is located, nor can he accompany them on the quest.

Then there's the matter of the “color” of the characters. They’re all either black or white. I like my characters better when they’re
gray.

But my biggest gripe is the ending.
There are two storylines. One
ends with a cliffhanger, which I despise.
And the other just comes to a rest along the way, to be continued in the
next book. Is it too much to ask for a
novel to have a complete story, even if it’s only part of a greater saga?

Although in
fariness, you can say the same about the LOTR too, and I am a Tolkien fanatic.

6½ Stars.
There’s no denying the success of Terry
Brooks’ Shannara series among YA and upper
Juvenile readers, so perhaps it’s just a matter of me not being the target
audience. Still, there are a lot of YA
books/series that adults will also find entertaining, the Hunger Games and Harry
Potter to name just two. It’s a
pity then that this bookdidn’t fall into
that category for me.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Our galactic neighbors, the Ostar, have decided
to blow up planet Earth. This ought to
be easily accomplished since Terran technology is far inferior to theirs. So it was quite the surprise when the first
bomb sent our way, named “Mark One”, disappeared and Earth went right on …erm… existing. Now Mark Two has arrived, with two objectives
– find out how the Earthlings defeated the first bomb. And upon determining that, pulverize our
planet.

Of
course, anyone who reads science fiction can tell you that this is neither the
first nor the last that some alien civilization foolishly tries to
annihilate us. They always fail. But at least the Ostar have a rather unique
reason for doing so.

We
play our music too loud and it’s driving them crazy.

What’s To Like...

Blonde Bombshell
is another fine Tom Holt effort, replete with his trademark zaniness and
wit. It is a little unusual for him to
venture into a science fiction, but the nice thing about bizarre storytelling
is that it can be adapted to any genre.
We follow the story from various characters’ perspectives. The main ones are:

Lucy Pavlov. Who is fabulously
rich, incredible talented, but can’t remember anything about her childhood.

George Stetchkin. Who can’t
remember anything before his latest hangover.

Mark Two. The sentient computer
in Bomb #2, who can’t keep his directives from clashing.

The Director. At corporate
headquarters on planet Ostar.

Two men who are definitely not werewolves.

All
of them are coping as best they can.
None of them has a clue as to what’s going on. I like protagonists like that.

The
story is written in “English”, as opposed to “American”, and that's always a plus with me. The primary setting for the story
is a place called Novosibirsk, which I at first thought was an imaginary city, but which
turns out to be the third largest metropolis in Russia.

There aren’t a lot of characters, so keeping
them straight is easy. On Ostar, it’s
the dogs that are the evolutionary …um… top dogs, and a lot of them have human
pets that love to chase sticks and receive treats for doing good. The Global Society for the
Ethical Treatment of Dumb Brutes is a much-loved humanitarian group on Ostar.

As
in any Tom Holt novel, the plotline meanders like a drunken sot, but nobody cares. It’s the mayhem and witty writing
that count, and there’s plenty of both here.
All the threads get tied up at the end, and Earth (or “Dirt” as
the Ostar mistakenly call us) is saved. Which is not a spoiler since you’re reading
this review.

Kewlest New Word ...

Doddle(n.)
: a very easy task. (a Britishism)

Others : Strimmer(n.).

Excerpts...

Ostar, he
thought: rings a bell. He dived into the
furthest recesses of his memory. Ostar,
he was pretty sure, was the German word for Austria.

That clinched
it. Austria, he knew, was right next to
Switzerland, in Europe, with mountains.
Switzerland was where they had loads of posh banks, so presumably they
had a few in Austria, too, the ones that wouldn’t fit in Switzerland, a
notoriously small country. And Austria
must be a pretty fair dinkum sort of a country, or why had they called
Australia after it? (pg. 112)

She watched his
face go from worried to happy-busy.
Human males were, she’d come to realise, basically very simple
mechanisms; more complex than a hinge, but much less sophisticated than a door
handle. Essentially, they were a variety
of a valve. Push them one way and they’d
stick, lead them the other way and they’d open up and follow. In software rather than hardware terms, if
you confronted them they sulked, but if you let them think they’d won and then
gave them a problem to solve, they passed beyond amenable into potentially
useful. (pg. 260)

An alien race capable of building a weapon as subtle, insidious and
devastating as a violin sonata mustn’t be underestimated. (pg. 15)

Blonde Bombshell is arguably Tom Holt’s best-known novel. I remember it being
featured at the local bookstores, and it was probably what caused me to start picking up
Holt’s books anytime I came across them at the used-book stores. Since then I’ve read and reviewed 13 of his
tales, and I’m at a loss as to why I never got around to reading his signature
opus.

Appreciating Tom Holt books is an acquired taste, and his wacky humor,
bumbling protagonists, and errant plotlines will not appeal to everyone. But I’ve been entertained every time I've read one of his stories.

8 Stars. If
you’ve never read a Tom Holt novel, Blonde
Bombshell is as good of a place to start as any.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

2011;
336 pages. Full Title : The Adventure of English – The Biography of a Language. New Author? : Yes. Genre
: Non-Fiction; Linguistics. Overall
Rating : 9½*/10.

When you think about it, it really is
remarkable that English has become the dominant language around the world.

It
started out as an immigrant tongue when a couple of Germanic tribes, most
notably the Jutes and the Angles, hopped across the English Channel to a
sparsely populated, nondescript island that the Romans had abandoned due to
lack of importance. It nestled in among
the existent Celtic tribal dialects and made itself at home.

It
somehow avoided being subsumed by those native tongues, survived the relentless
raids by the Vikings, laid low during the French-speaking Norman Conquest, and whispered
softly while the church insisted on conducting its business only in Latin.

All along, it borrowed liberally from each of those languages, ever
increasing its vocabulary, until it was ready to travel to exotic, faraway
places. Like the West Indies, India,
Australia, and the most uncivilized setting of them all – America.

What’s To Like...

The Adventure of
English – The Biography of a Language is a fascinating opus by Melvyn
Bragg, a well-known producer of television documentaries in the United Kingdom. As the book’s title implies, he
anthropomorphizes (I had to look up the verb form of that word) the English
language, giving it a personality and appetite for new words, the latter coming
in two forms – imported and homegrown. But
don’t worry; at its core, this is a meticulously researched history of our (well,
England’s, actually)mother tongue.

The book is divided into 24 chapters, and can be divided into four
sections. The first chapter deals with “where
English came from”. The next 17 chapters
center on how and why foreign words flowed into it (English really is a polyglot). After that, the focus shifts to English
flowing out into the rest of the world.
And we finish up with speculation on “where do we go from here?”

Melvyn
Bragg writes in “English”, as opposed to what I call “American”, and somehow
that seems eminently appropriate for the subject material. Yes, this is the story of how our language –
both written and spoken – came to be.
But it is also the story of England itself, and for me, predictably, the
older the time period being examined, the more interesting the chapter. Also included are a fair amount of pictures,
and I found these to be interesting as well.

If
you a fan of historical and/or linguistic trivia, you’ll love this book. Among the items I noted are 8th-century
riddles (quite well done), a brief mention of Pennsylvania Dutch, the Cockney
dialect and its consequent rhyming slang, and just how perilous the English
language’s existence was during the Norman era.

In
addition you’ll meet a number of fascinating historical figures and learn how
they contributed to the English language.
Among them: Chaucer, John Wycliffe, Philip Sidney (who?), Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, and our own
Mark Twain. An entire chapter is devoted
to Shakespeare, and rightfully so.
You’ll learn some of the more than 2000 new words he personally added to
the vocabulary, including his longest one, “honorificabilitudinitatibus”, which means “the
state of being able to achieve honors”, and even has its own Wikipedia entry, linked here.

Kewlest New Word ...

Scotticism(n.)
: a characteristically Scottish phrase.
(There’s a Wikipedia entry for this too.
See it here).

Others : Apotheosis(n.); Fructify (v.)

Excerpts...

The average
educated man today, more than four hundred years on from Shakespeare with the
advantage of hundreds of thousands of new words that have come in since his
time, has a working vocabulary of less than half that of Shakespeare.

The language at
that time was in flux: Shakespeare must have made it dizzy. He “out-Heroded Herod”; “uncle me no uncle,”
he said, he would “dog them at the heels” – just one of the astonishing, simple
transferences of a common observation, a dog at someone’s heels, into a phrase
which could be menacing, funny, admirable, pestering: and it is clinchingly
memorable. (loc. 2248)

The Adventure
of Englishsells for $9.99 at Amazon, although I picked it up when
it was temporarily discounted. Melvyn
Bragg has several other books available for the Kindle, both fiction and
nonfiction. They run from $11.49
to $15.12
. Most of the books he’s penned over the
years are only available in paperback and hardcover.

“The masculine pronouns are
he, his and him; but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!” (loc. 1578)

I
don’t really have any quibbles about The Adventure
of English. The worst I can say
is that there are a bunch of word lists, particularly when Melvyn Bragg is
demonstrating just how many words English has absorbed from other
languages. They can get tedious, and I
admit I skimmed over some of these. But
they are indispensable for Bragg making his point about just how much of a sponge
our language is.

There are a number of times where an “old English” passage was placed
side-by-side with its modern English equivalent. I found these mesmerizing, and I wondered just
how the audiobook version handles this.
Are the two passages spoken for comparison’s sake? If so, is this more effective than seeing
them written, or less? I’ll never know
because I tried an audiobook once and was thoroughly discombobulated by it, giving
up after a couple pages.

Finally,
it should be noted that the e-book ends at 90%.
This is expected with any reference work, and the final 10% is taken up
by the author’s acknowledgements, an extensive bibliography, and an index that
contains neither page numbers nor links.

9½ Stars.
Bottom line: if you’re into history,
you’ll like this book. If you’re into
the English language, you’ll like this book.
And if you’re into the history of the English language (like I am),
you’ll freaking love this book.

Decius
Caecilius Metellus the Younger (just call him plain old "Decius") has been summoned to Rome and given a daunting task. A relative of his, a fellow
by the name of Celer, has died suddenly and it is suspected that he was
poisoned. Of course, this is in the time
of Julius Caesar, and proving it was poisoning is
difficult, if not impossible.

Decius’s dad, as well as the rest of his family (and most of Rome, for that matter)
are sure that Celer’s wife Clodia did the dirty deed. So their charge to Decius is not to find out
who’s guilty, but to find evidence proving Clodia is the guilty party.

But Clodia’s brother, along with the rest of her family, who are powerful
political rivals of the Metellus family, have also contacted Decius. Their instructions to Decius are not to find
out who’s guilty, but to find evidence proving Clodia is innocent.

It’s a pretty good bet that someone’s going to be very disappointed with
Decius’s efforts in this case.

What’s To Like...

Saturnaliais part of John Maddox Roberts’ “SPQR” series, which combines Murder-Mystery
sleuthing with some excellent Historical Fiction depicting daily life in the
Roman Empire at the height of her glory. I’ve
read two other books in the series; they are reviewed here and here. The author’s attention to
historical accuracy is so well-researched that it is possible to give a particular
year (I’m
trusting Wikipedia on this) in which each story takes place. Here, Julius Caesar’s star is still rising,
and I liked the way he’s portrayed – powerful and ambitious, but also having
keen insight into the things and people surrounding him.

The
story is written from the first-person (Decius’s) POV. There’s an extensive glossary of Roman Empire
terms in the back of the book, but I think it also could’ve used a Cast of
Characters at the front, since there are a slew of them to follow, and just
about everyone is a suspect. We tag
along with Decius as he asks questions, gets threatened, gets lost, and gets in everybody's hair.

As
the title implies, this particular tale takes place during the annual Roman celebration of Saturnalia, and it was really neat learning about this
holiday. For a brief time, social taboos
such as public gambling are allowed, and slaves and masters temporarily are
equals. To boot, if witches are your
thing, you’ll enjoy interacting with their various orders – the saga, the striga, and the venefica. The Romans consider these women pagans,
preferring to get their fortunes told by augurs,
haruspices, and the Sibylline books.

As
always, John Maddox Roberts’ wit and writing skills are on display; as is his
attention to historical detail. One
small example: in those days, the term “janitor” denoted a slave serving as a
doorkeeper. Kewl stuff.

Kewlest New Word...

Fillip(n.)
: something that acts as a stimulus or boost to an activity.

Others : Proscription(n.); Skirling(v.); Sophistry (n.).

Excerpts...

“Suppose I found
myself plunged into deepest despair?”

“Try a skilled
whore and a jug of wine. That should fix
you up nicely. Improve your outlook no
end,”

I was almost
beginning to like her. “But this is a
melancholy beyond bearing. I must end
it.”

“Try the river.”

“That would be
ungentlemanly. You get all bloated and
fish nibble at you.”

“You look like
you’ve spent some time with the legions.
Fall on your sword. You can’t get
nobler than that.” (pg.
49)

“Did Ariston
remark at the time upon, oh … any irregularities in the manner of Celer’s
passing?”

“No, in fact he
stated rather emphatically that the symptoms were those common to death from
natural, internal disorders such as attend a great many common deaths. This time, he declared, the only unusual
circumstance was the seemingly robust health enjoyed by the deceased.”

“Well, first of
all, he was dead. That alone means he
was not as healthy as he had seemed.” (pg.
214)

“If you’re going to lie to me, you might as well get drunk and do
it convincingly.” (pg.
77)

The
quibbles are minor. The Murder-Mystery
is well-crafted, but choosing the culprit seemed rather arbitrary. So take my advice: instead of trying to determine who
the murderer is, concentrate on figuring out why Celer was killed.

I also found the final resolution of the
crime-solving to be a bit unconvincing. The
murderer, having received a message from Decius letting him know the jig is up,
opts for an honorable confrontation to decide matters. If I were the guilty party, I would’ve tried
something less honorable, and sneakier to silence Decius. Something involving a dark alley perhaps.

Finally,
there are several conversations about the politics of the times, and though
they are important to the storyline, they got confusing and tedious.

But
these are all minor things. Saturnalia is another fine offering from John
Maddox Roberts, and I’m sure I’ll be reading more books from this series,
especially since my local library has most of them.

8 Stars. 7 Stars
for the Murder-Mystery; 9 Stars
for the Historical Fiction.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Our hero, the apprentice wizard Skeeve, is
overjoyed. He’s just purchased a
treasure map, and got it for a dirt-cheap price. Of course, as his mentor, Aahz, points out,
the odds of the map being legitimate are rather slim.

Still, the treasure is a living, breathing, “golden cow”, and if the map
does turn out to on the up-and-up, such an acquisition would do wonders for the
finances of our two daring protagonists.

Ah, but it appears the treasure map is also a magic map, and the
requisite dimension-hopping will take our adventurers to remote and
scarcely-visited alternate universes. It
looks like they will need some unwanted partners. And the inherent problem with
dimension-hopping isn’t the act of doing it; it’s trying to get back to your
home dimension again.

What
could possibly go wrong in such a scenario?

What’s To Like...

Myth-ion Improbable was published after an 8-year
hiatus in the series, during which the IRS and Robert Asprin engaged in a
protracted dispute about the latter’s taxes.
There’s a revealing Author’s Note at the beginning of the book, wherein Asprin
touches upon the impact this had on his writing, and that Myth-ion Improbable
was an attempt to get back into the writing style he had used in the earlier
books.

He
picked a good place in the series’ story to begin again. My two favorite characters, Aahz and Skeeve,
are here, along with Tanda. My two
least-favorite characters, Guido and Nunzio, are not. Gleep makes a token appearance, but
essentially is left out. Other than
that, there are only a couple new characters to keep track of.

Asprin’s trademark “pseudo-quotes” are once
again at the beginning of each chapter.
The plotline is straightforward, and you’ll watch Skeeve and Aahz search
for the treasure, chit-chat with vegetarian, cow-worshipping cowboys, and
tread cautiously in the presence of possessed bovines. The wonders
of carrot juice are extolled, and there’s a bit of a more serious theme about
addiction to speed.

The
storyline’s not so much a matter of building the tension as it is about our
fearless band of heroes hopping around until they stumble upon the
treasure. This is an quick and easy read, and
despite being part of the series, it is pretty much a standalone novel. The Asprin wit is present, at least in a
limited amount. But his puns are missing.

Excerpts...

“Aahz, you might
really want to look at this. It’s a map
to a creature called a cow.”

“So?” Aahz said,
shaking his head. “Remember the last
time we were at the Bazaar at Deva?
Where do you think that steak you ate came from?”

I stared at
him. I had no idea steaks came from
creatures called cows. I had just
assumed they came from creatures called steaks.
Trout came from trout, salmon came from salmon, and duck came from duck. It was logical. Besides, there were no cows in this
dimension. At least, none that I had
ever met. (pg. 4)

Every person in
the place glanced up at us as we entered, then went back to eating and talking
as if they saw strangers every day and just didn’t care. I considered that a good sign.

“Howdy, folks,”
the guy behind the bar said, wiping a spot off the wood surface in front of
him. “What’s your pleasure?”

I had no idea
what the guy meant. I sort of understood
the words, but standing in the middle of a bar, I sure didn’t understand why he
was asking me about pleasure. Just a
little too personal of a question for someone I didn’t know.(pg. 58)

I didn’t need compliments
from a woman who left me to rot in a town full of cow food. (pg. 125)

Sadly,
Myth-ion Improbable completely fails to
catch the humor, the fun, the world-building, and the sparkle of the early
books in this series. There’s a slew of
dimension-hopping, but no effort was made to make them unique or interesting. Indeed, once the dimension-traveling started,
the settings were limited to a cabin, a saloon, a meadow, and a castle. Yawn.

The plotline was equally disappointing.
There were no twists, our heroes just wander around from one
town/dimension to the next, with them all looking the same, as they wait for a deus-ex-machina to appear. At one point, Skeeve is lying on a bed,
staring upward into space, and conviently notices the key to his problem
inscribed on the ceiling. No logical
reason for it to be there; it seemed like Asprin didn’t want to expend the
effort to think of an interesting way for Skeeve to find that key
resource. I felt like I could’ve written
the storyline, and that is not a compliment.

I’d like to blame this on the IRS, but I remember reading the series 20
years ago and thinking that somewhere along the line, Asprin utterly lost his
Muse. I can’t tell you which book it
was, but it’s when the Mafioso was incorporated into the story. Really, Mr. Asprin?! You’re writing a fantasy series, with bizarre
worlds to create and explore, and the best you can think of is stereotypical gangland characters? How underwhelming.

4½ Stars. If
you’re never read a Mythadventures
book, don’t start with this one. Start
at the beginning (Another
Fine Myth), and continue until you meet up with Guido and Nunzio,
then quit and read something else.
You’ll thank me for this.