Orgasms are natural, so you’d think women would have no trouble experiencing one any time they wanted one… or two… or 10. Still, about 70% of women fake it at some point. But is it possible to achieve real mind-blowing orgasms? Here are 10 expert tips to get to the “big O”...

Being adventurous doesn’t make you trashy. And being aroused by missionary-position sex doesn’t make you a prude. It just means you know what feels good to you. Which brings us to…

3. Love yourselfYou can’t tell your partner what you like if you don’t know. So take your fingers for a walk and find out what makes you see stars. Hard and fast? Slow and soft? Experiment with different kinds of touch and different rhythms.

“You learn about orgasms by having them with yourself,” says Betty Dodson, Ph.D., author of Orgasms for Two (Three Rivers Press).

4. Find your G-spot... or notThe existence of the G-spot (named for German scientist Ernst Grafenberg, who first described it) is as hotly debated as the existence of extraterrestrials. Some sexperts believe this sensual real estate exists; others insist it’s sheer fantasy. Which camp do you fall into? That usually depends on whether you get orgasms from clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration.

So where's this magic place? It’s behind the belly and pubic bone, about two inches inside your vagina. You can locate yours with fingers and some sex positions (being on top is one of the best). Just remember, the G-spot isn’t the holy grail of sex.

“All women have this sensitive area,” assures sex researcher Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., co-author of The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press). “But not everyone likes it stimulated, just as not everyone likes when someone blows in their ear.”

5. All roads lead to ‘O’There are lots of ways to reach orgasm. Some women can climax when their breasts are touched or when their necks are rubbed. Other lucky gals get there by fantasizing – without any touch at all. The point? Be adventurous when exploring sexual terrain. You never know what will send you over the edge.

“We’ve gotten into this mindset that there’s only one type of orgasm, and it’s from stimulating the clitoris,” Whipple says. “There are many other ways women can have orgasmic experiences.”

6. Tell ’em what you wantOnce you’ve figured out what works for you, clue your partner in too. Trust us; he wants to know. Especially if what gets you off bears no resemblance to what he thinks is working.

Let him know that you’re not always going to come, even if he’s doing everything right, Berman notes. It’ll ease the pressure and let you both enjoy the ride.

7. Give yourself a handContrary to steamy Hollywood sex scenes, only 30% of women have orgasms through intercourse. So if penetration doesn't quite do it, not to worry. There’s nothing wrong with you. Life doesn’t always imitate art.

Don’t be shy. Reach down and give yourself a helping hand during sex.

8. Full speed ahead with foreplayShare this tidbit with your guy: Men can go from zero to orgasm in seven minutes, but women take as long as 20 to get warmed up. That’s why foreplay was invented.

It revs the engines, even if you’re not feeling frisky because the brain is a major sex organ. And if you’re mentally paying bills while your partner is looking for thrills, the only thing you’re likely to share is a sexless spat.

Redefine foreplay, Berman suggests. Let your hubby put the kids to bed while you unwind with a bath and candles.

“Then [you’ll be] in a better place to respond sexually,” Berman notes.

9. Better than ibuprofenFor years women have used the ol’ dodge Not tonight, I’ve got a headache.

10. Get the blood flowingExercise isn't just good for your heart, it’s great for your sex life. Running, walking, biking and other cardio gets blood moving everywhere – even down there. And the better the circulation, the better the titillation.

Don’t know how to work out your Kegels? Next time you pee, try stopping the flow. Those are your Kegel muscles. Just don’t make it a habit to do Kegels when you urinate, because stopping and starting the flow continuously can increase your risk for urinary tract infections.

Berman recommends doing 100-150 Kegel squeezes a day to keep them in sexy shape. You can do them anywhere, anytime (just not while peeing).

Yoga, Pilates and other core-strengthening workouts also tone PC muscles.

How’s Your Sex Life?For some of us, having regular sex is like breathing – we couldn’t live without it. Others don’t mind an occasional dry spell. Where do you stand on the nookie spectrum? Find out how much you want it with this libido quiz.

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