Well, some good news. Michael Douglas is returning to work — on a Liberace biopic no less — after undergoing treatment for throat cancer. So that's good! Unfortunately some fellow celebrities aren't faring so well.

Recent Dancing with the Stars alum Jennifer Grey, who narrowly lost to Tea Party heroine Bristol Plain in a coming-in-third contest, is having surgery to fix a disc she ruptured during her step-ball-changin'.

Nate Berkus, thick-haired Oprah guru turned talk show host, nearly had his appendix burst while on the air. He was filming a segment for the Today show this morning and was apparently in dire pain. But he soldiered on with the important bit, waiting to rush to the hospital until taping was done. At the hospital he learned that he has appendicitis and will likely have an appendectomy soon. Girl, get yourself better! We need all the vague gay advice we can get at this point!

Lastly, and perhaps most tragically, Heather Locklear, savior of television shows, has been hospitalized in Los Angeles for a bacterial infection. Yiiiikes. The scariest thing? She was filming a movie in Canada right before she fell ill, so it's probably a Canadian bacteria, which I think technically means she unwittingly aided and abetted an illegal immigrant.

So that's today in celebrity health news. Though some of them may be sicker than you, remember: they'll still always be better
than you.