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Winston wrote:I dont get something guys. Lisa liked me for me and knew and understood me very well. So what could have possibly gone wrong? In theory nothing could have.
I know she has a mental illness. But still she must have disliked something about me. Maybe cause im too beta male and turn off her instincts in her genes?
But not all women are turned off by me being beta or unmasculine right? How come all the male pop stars in asia look feminine now? Yet girls love them. Why?
Lisa wasnt very feminine though, which she stated herself. So it was hard to control her or take the lead.

You have to stop doubting yourself. Don't try to find a logical explanation to her behavior, there is none.

They have a way to mold to your style and get to like you, but unfortunately it is a bit "fake" if you may, as they're in part using you as a place-holder so to speak. That's one of the heartbreaking parts about this, but I guess we all do that a little bit too.

That BPD disorder also involves self-sabotage and abandonment issues. Even if you are "perfect" in whatever way she perceives, more masculine or whatever, she would screw up in some way to avoid the pain of any eventual -future- break up; pretty much a self fulfilling prophecy. Or she would leave you first under any other excuse for the same purpose, avoiding or recreating abandonment.

The only way to keep her "happy" would be to become a dysfunctional individual at her level, beating her up or constantly threatening abandonment, to feed the victimhood and drama crap. But needless to say, that's not "alpha", healthy, or normal at all, and would be no guarantee anyway.

And let me ask you Winston, was the sex great, and, did she kind of initiate it?

1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?

Quit this PUA bullshit you guys. Its fictional. Some things cant be controlled. Thats life. You are trying to shame and blame an innocent person.

How come when i go out i see lots of happy couples who are at peace with each other and the guy does not have to do any PUA crap or try to act alpha?

Sure its true that i wasnt masculine enough for lisa and she wasnt feminine enough for me. She said herself that she wasnt feminine. I probably need a shy sweet vulnerable type of girl to complement me and let me take the lead.

But the thing is, lisa knew what i was like long ago, yet she liked me for me and accepted me just the way i am. So how could she dislike me for me later on? It doesnt make sense.

You PUA guys are forgetting that lisas ex husband ignored her because he could not tolerate her moodiness and instability and mental illness. So it had nothing to do with not being manly enough. Stop using this incident as a punching bag against me. Thats very immature guys.

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

Winston, you need to man up. Be a man. By that, I mean this: Have some standards.

The reason why girls are repelled by you is because you have ZERO standards. Okay, I am exaggerating here, but you "appear" to have ZERO standards when you beg a girl to come back to you after she admits that she slept with another guy who she is in love with. Really? When you did that you showed her that you did not value herself. If you do not value yourself, no one else will.

Man up.

Get some standards and start qualifying women. You are letting them qualify you, and walk all over you. Therefore, they do not respect you.

C'mon, Winston. You're following your dick around like it is a divining rod leading you to the perfect girl. Start thinking with your brain.

1. Find your purpose and passion. Get skilled at it. With that, you will get confidence. Confidence is the only cologne that matters. Then, date a lot of girls casually until they are all fighting over you. You qualify them. Then, you choose the girl. Never get too attached. You have to let them know you can leave at any minute.

Stop whining and posting these long love letters about this girl. She does not like you. Attraction is a response, not a choice. And, since you acted like a mangina, she lost attraction to you. It is that simple. Move on.

Winston. How much is a round trip ticket from China to Kazakhstan? Hint Hint Hint! I've seen a few Kazakhstani ladies around Seattle and they have such a beautiful mixed look about them. Go check it out!

pete98146 wrote:Winston. How much is a round trip ticket from China to Kazakhstan? Hint Hint Hint! I've seen a few Kazakhstani ladies around Seattle and they have such a beautiful mixed look about them. Go check it out!

The girl in the AT&T ads is from Kazakhstan. That's a very good look, imo.

Edit: Make that Uzbekistan. But undoubtedly some of the same genetic currents are floating by. I believe it was have2fly who years ago strongly recommended Uzbekistan as a place to go wife hunting.

I'm supposed to go to Ganzi at some point, because a psychic we met in Taiwan, who is a friend of my cousin, told me in a reading that I had to go there and repent for sins in a past life at a local Tibetan temple. According to his reading, I was a Tibetan spiritual priest or lama in Ganzi 4 or 5 lifetimes ago who had advanced to a high spiritual level and consciousness. But I fell in love with a woman there and violated my oath of celibacy. As a result, both of our karma was damaged heavily. The thing is, I had a lot of good karma and merit from my spiritual work in that lifetime, so I had enough good karma to earn a rebirth into the next life. However, the woman I had the affair with was ordinary and did not have enough karma from the damage to be reborn. So she became stuck "between worlds" in a hellish condition, and cursed me for it and haunted me for it to this day. That's the reason, the psychic said, I have bad luck and bad karma in this life when it came to relationships. Perhaps her lost soul repels every woman I get involved with?

Seriously? This is amazing. Your life is full of surprises!

Remember how we visited a Tibetan temple by your house in Chiayi, and I made sure we got in as well? I wonder if this could be part of it.

The monk we talked to was a Kham Tibetan born in India. There are many different Tibetan subgroups in China, and Ganzi (and much of Sichuan) happens to be a Kham Tibetan area as well. Coincidence, or maybe not?

droid wrote:Winston,
I just dumped a Colombian girl that had this disorder. I'll write a thread on this with all the details, so you could perhaps sticky it on the dating forum section for everyone's benefit. It's unbelievable that nobody talks about this openly in the mainstream or that fathers don't instruct their sons about it early on in life. It would save men a lot of suffering.

I've usually nexted girls at the first sign of problems or red flags, but this time around I (un)fortunately decided to stick to my guns to the ultimate consequences, for the sake of learning and "discovery", thinking I hadn't been open minded enough in the past. But this almost ends up costing me my sanity and life, very dangerous stuff to play with.

I've done my research, and the disorder is not Bipolar Disorder but actually called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Ususally bipolar's mood fluctuations take days or weeks, while BPD's can happen in a matter of minutes or hours, as you described.
There's a whole other bunch of symptoms that go with this and they usually match to the letter. I was scared shitless when i read this towards the end of the two month ordeal, it was so deeply disturbing i couldn't research anymore.
Right now I'm trying to put this in the past but it's tough, I'm sure you're going through the same f*cking cognitive dissonance Winston. Just remember you're not the insane person and let time do the healing, be happy in the sense that you dodged a bullet. Make sure to seek some company too, go see some of the other forum members over there.

Yes, I agree it's BPD. What Winston described was completely Borderline Personality Disorder. This is different from depression or lack of impulse control.

You would not EVER want a woman with this kind of disorder to be your wife, let alone your child's mother! These people have serious cognitive problems, and their distorted views of the world cause them to become abusive. My own mother is like this.

Consider it a blessing that the breakup had happened, and that you weren't stuck with her for longer.

Dianne read about what happened with lisa above.

Dianne accepts your relationship with Lisa?
And I get the impression that Dianne is a far better mother, wife, and soulmate than Lisa would be.

Bicycledays,
You keep promoting that website. Do you own it? It looks like you are not here to talk about objective truth. You have an agenda in promoting your site.

Droid,
Yeah it looks like Lisa does have abandonment issues. When I left China after my first trip to go back to Taiwan for 2 months, Lisa used it against me forever and claimed I abandoned her. Even after I apologized and came back, she still kept beating me over the head with it like a stick. Apparently, every "sin" in her eyes is eternal and unforgettable.

But here's an even weirder example of "abandonment" which shows how weird and messed up she is:

When we were on a full day tour to see the Terracota Warriors and other historical sites in Xi'an, which started at 7am, when lunchtime came most of the tour group members went to eat at a lunch buffet in a restaurant that the tour bus dropped us off at. But Lisa wanted to sit on the bench in the gift shop and eat a piece of bread in our snack bag. She wanted me to do the same, even though there was only one piece of bread left for each of us. I told her I was starving (since if you begin the day at 7am, you will be very hungry by noon) and tried to get her to go to the lunch buffet with me. But she refused, saying that I had already told her earlier that morning that I would eat bread with her instead of the lunch buffet, because when she asked me about it, I told her it was up to her, since at 7am I wasn't hungry enough to make such a decision. Apparently, in Lisa's mind, once you make a decision, even a bad one, you gotta stick with it. You can't change it. Wtf? It sounds like she may have some kind of OCD too, in not wanting to change a trivial decision when the situation called for it.

Well, since I was hungry and didn't want to eat only one piece of bread for lunch, I got up and went to the lunch buffet with the other tour group members. In doing so, I left Lisa in the gift shop for about 25 minutes I think. When I returned, she acted like all was ok, but later on she told me that my leaving her for 25 minutes to eat the lunch buffet constituted me ABANDONING her again! Even if it was just for 25 minutes because I was starving! Geez. In her mind, that was another PENALTY point against me and when enough accrued, she would jet and ditch me. It seemed that she was spinning any little thing against me. It was ridiculous, petty and unreasonable, to say the least.

Any other normal girl I'm sure, or at least 99.99 percent of girls, in that situation would have just joined me at the lunch buffet or at least not used it against me as a penalty point. No normal girl makes her boyfriend starve for no reason. Gee whiz! Why couldn't Lisa be a normal girl? Why can't I be with a normal girl?

But let's be real here. Happy people don't argue about little things or spin things against you. Unhappy people looking for a reason to break up do that. She was obviously looking for excuses to break up since she was unhappy. It got so bad that even when I told her about girls I dated in China BEFORE I ever met her, she used that against me as well and claimed that I wasn't faithful to her or serious about her! Gee whiz. Go figure.

Note though that Lisa wasn't like that in the beginning. At first, she was normal and reasonable and didn't argue about petty things. It was only later on that she began to be irritable, moody and petty about little things. Maybe it was because she began to dislike me, or due to her mental illness, or a combination of both. It does seem like she needs a more masculine guy who is fast paced, less sensitive, and complains less than me. One of my faults is that I'm overly sensitive or hypersensitive, which I admit to. But hey, at least I don't spin little things against my friends or girlfriends as if I were their enemy or something. That's ridiculous.

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

Winston, it's none of your fault. You were perfectly reasonable, and were dealing with a nutcase. People with BPD can hide the demon inside themselves really well, so don't blame yourself too much for failing to see warning signs.

We've headed out together many times, and I didn't throw ridiculous fits like that. Most of your guy friends wouldn't either, and neither would any sane woman.

Consider yourself to have dodged a bullet by getting out of that relationship before it was way too late. Sorry to say that, but guys are far better off being free from abusive relationships than being in one because they fear loneliness and abandonment.

Now that you've just experienced all this nonsense with Lisa, don't you find that being together with Dianne is actually far better?

Falcon,
Yeah Dianne is easier to get along with. But Chinese girls fulfill me and make me feel complete in a way that Filipinas can't. Hard to explain in words. There is more a feeling of equality and accomplishment with a Chinese woman. And the skin of Chinese women turns me on more because it's smoother and more refined and higher quality and feels racially superior (sorry to sound racist) as well. So a relationship with a Chinese feels more fulfilling.

Plus Dianne and 99 percent of Filipinas can't even buy me an ice cream cone or sandwich unless I give her money to pay for it. But Lisa and any average Chinese girl can treat me and contribute fairly. The inequity of dating a Filipina is too extreme. They make you pay for 100 percent of everything and don't feel shame in it. That's way too imbalanced. Also getting a Filipina girl doesn't feel like an accomplishment, because anyone can get a Filipina, but getting a Chinese girl does, because they are higher quality.

Now I don't mind dating poor girls. My new girlfriend in China is poor too. But being not even able to buy you an ice cream cone with their own money is downright ridiculous and extreme, yet 99 percent of Filipinas I've dated were like that. My new girlfriend in China is poor but she can still easily treat me to dinner if she wanted to, and will try her best to contribute financially, even if I don't want her to.

Also, when I saw Rock go out with his middle class Filipina dates in Manila, I noticed that they also made him pay for 100 percent of everything. They didn't contribute to any of the restaurant or food bills, like Chinese women usually do. Maybe I'm wrong and they did when I wasn't around, but I don't remember them contributing to anything when I was around.

Btw all, when Falcon and I talked to Lisa by webcam in Taiwan, Falcon also found it odd that Lisa was insulting and mocking me directly while supposedly being my significant other. It was an odd contradiction. Yet in spite of that, she said she wanted to be a female version of Winston because Winston was her God. lol. Go figure. Lisa makes no sense.

Believe it or not, Lisa also said that I was "the stupidest man she ever met in her whole life". That is friggin ridiculous. There is no way that I'm the stupidest guy that anyone has ever met. That statement was obviously biased and emotional with no basis in fact or reality. So she was a very subjective girl with distorted views of reality for sure. Yet oddly enough, earlier she said that I was her Savior and Jesus and God before. So she seems to waffle between extremes. lol

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

But Chinese girls fulfill me and make me feel complete in a way that Filipinas can't. Hard to explain in words. There is more a feeling of equality and accomplishment with a Chinese woman. And the skin of Chinese women turns me on more because it's smoother and more refined and higher quality and feels racially superior (sorry to sound racist) as well. So a relationship with a Chinese feels more fulfilling.

Winston wrote:Yeah Dianne is easier to get along with. But Chinese girls fulfill me and make me feel complete in a way that Filipinas can't. Hard to explain in words. There is more a feeling of equality and accomplishment with a Chinese woman. And the skin of Chinese women turns me on more because it's smoother and more refined and higher quality and feels racially superior (sorry to sound racist) as well. So a relationship with a Chinese feels more fulfilling.

So why did you insist on fathering a child by one of these "racially inferior" women?

As for higher quality - subjective much? You consider Chinese women to be of a higher quality because they are harder for you to obtain. The same way one would consider a Hollywood actress "high quality", when for all you know she may be spoiled, unfaithful and a horrible housewife without any housekeeping skills or passion in the bedroom. All of it is entirely subjective.