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Author
Topic: When does it end?? WELL IT JUST ENDED! (Read 7995 times)

Well I became a proud member of MD this weekend (missed dose) and then it just got worse as Thurday came to a close.

Me and Will had plans to get his labs and mine this weekend in Denver. I went down the night before forgetting a bottle of Kaletra. Will was coming down on Friday and get very sick and was not able to make his appointment nor bring the bottle down for me. I was contemplating driving back but Dr. Ben called me and told me don't even sweat it. "We will put you back on track on Monday" and it won't effect you one bit. We know you have been compliant the entire year and 1 dose is absolutely no bother." Of course I still worried... So I am down in Denver by myself which was very painful knowing Will was up sick in the mountains. I saw Ben and got my "flu jab" and all my meds. Came home and Will was much better. Waste of my R&R....

Dealing at work with a very tenuous situation with the employee who has had a mental breakdown and I am doing all the right things with documentation to HR regarding the mental breakdown of this person. I found out today the person has again been gossiping about anything he/she can as well as myself. A good friend of mine pulled me aside tonight and said that this person was saying "what do you think the new boss from Turkey is going to think about Eric being gay and maybe even HIV +?" Everyone knows I am gay but not +. Whelp, my heart sank right there. I have not disclosed to anyone except my X-boss who supported me and encouraged me. I have been doing marvelously with my new Turkish boss and he is learning allot from me. I like him... He is out getting additional training for another week before he gets back. I need this job and I hate the idea of this rumor out there if it is... My friend was so nice to tell me about this and he said "You know even if its true, it makes no difference to me!" But what about someone else?? Errrm..

Well the documentation with HR is going along and if things do not improve, I will be filling this position with someone else. I hope this person gets the help needed. BUT I AM FUCKING MAD.. I am tired of secrets again... It takes to much energy - this thing I have..

Try not to sweat it, matey. Anxiety is no good for your health, and nothing may come of it. Deal with it at the time if something happens. Otherwise, let it slide - as Mark said, like water off a duck's back.

It is unfortunate that William became sick over the weekend and you were not able to get your meds. Just as the other have said we have all (with the exception of Mark) have missed a dose. Do you recall our conversation about Anxiety. That there were two different types. Let me just give you a quick review:

The (2) two types of Anxiety are:

External Anxiety --- things that you cannot control

Internal Anxiety --- things that you can control

From the External Anxiety it had/has triggered your Internal Anxiety which proceeds to make a major promotion out of STRESS. You brain then release more chemicals, you then began to worry more, your brain continues to release chemicals, then you end up in this state of "panic" from something that was caused by YOU!

A few months back, I even went through and EPISODE with not having my medication. Thankfully, the others from this forum immediately kicked in and gave me the support that I needed so I would not be without. Again, I send my thanks to each and every one of you.

In regards to the employee at your job who had had a mental breakdown. Remember, there are only certain things that you can control. There are other things that you cannot control. You are doing your BEST to fill out the paperwork and working with HR. Give him/her the support that they need right now.

As far as your "Turkish" new boss, release your "worries" with him. He has come to a different country, a different state, and a different city, and he is leaning on you in order to learn the ropes of his position. When the time presents itself, either you will choose to turn right or left when it comes to disclosing your status to him. It is your choice. This is a situation that you can control.

As far as the unnecessary stress is concerned, in every single office environment or out in the field, you will experience "rumors". There is a way for you to administer "Damage Control". Go to the source and DO what you did a few months ago and talk a walk outside in the snow. There are a number of ways that you can approach this. Think rationally and do not jump to any conclusions. The first three letter of ASSUME is "ASS". Do not make and ass out of yourself.

Your friend has the RIGHT attitude about it: "Even if it is true, it does not matter to him". You see what I mean. Adapt to the positive attitudes that surround you. 99.99% of the time it is not as bad as you "perceive" it to be. This is good advice. Take it to heart.

Release your Anger and find yourself and "outlet" really quick. Distract yourself and do something else if you have to or take a brisk walk outside and get some fresh air.

I am sending you my BEST wishes and prayers that you take heed to the advice given to help you which has helped many others and that this "phase" will not turn into a drama and fizzle out.

As explained by you, Eric, I suspect that it's a case of the usual gay=hiv positive/AIDS equation which is a negative form of the gay=hairdresser equation. The difference is that your being gay is less likely to trigger weirdness (and if you want to read the weirdness, check in with the 'am I infected' posts for how things have not changed over the decades). There is no reason to disclose at work and I hope that you can simply ignore the rumors after a relaxing weekend. Best, Win

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Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems. The last was published in December 2006. He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Eric,I freaked out myself on Monday because ADAP screwed up on my Keletra delivery. It finally showed up at 2pm but in the meantime I had called my doctor,the pharmacy, health dept and UPS. Since my PML diagnosis I haven't missed a dose and the thought of it and the reprocutions freak me out. A good friend at the clinic trials unit finally helped to calm me down. He recommended that I take my 7a.m. dose at 2 and my 7p.m as late as possible before bed and then to start up my normal routine on Tuesday. I'm lucky to get assistance thru ADAP but it's times like this that I think I should get my meds myself because I could get a 90 script thru my insurance whereas I can only get 21 days of Keletra at a time thru ADAP.

Glad to hear William is better and you are back together.

The work situation sucks sorry to hear about it. I just don't understand how people can be so spiteful and mean. Especially to you because you are so sweet. It's the weekend so I hope things start to look up for you.

Please stand alone in front of a full length mirror, and grab some of your manhood, and don't let this one person have all your power!!!

Shit, you are the one making the decisions here, so make the decision to act like the man that you are and IGNORE all the gossip. Acknowledging it will give it creedence, which to now there is none. When someone states that they heard this or that, please just stay calm and ask them why they would believe such statements, and ask them to consider the source. I don't know one person when confronted peacefully and with authority, will persist in spreading shit at work...

RISE ABOVE IT......

In Love.

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The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,and 362 to heterosexuals.This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals, It's just that they need more supervision.Lynn Lavne

It would always be nice to be in control of how you are perceived by others... But that just ain't gonna work, not here, not out there as I am slowly coming to realize... I am so very thankful I have friends here and those long time friends who support me and understand and who don't give a rats ass one way or other.. I wish everyone was that way...

Thank you Alex, Rob, Daniel, Jeff, Eldon, Teresa, LG, Mark, Nadine, Tim & Jeff.. I was sad yesterday and hopeful today. I am trying to work on my F.E.A.R. and quit feeding the fucker.. Everyone had great points to make and I so do want to find a positive way thru these kind of aspects to living with as this will always show itself time and time again.

Love

Tim, I will head down to Walmart later today and buy one of those full-length mirrors for the home. Oops, I better buy two...

It would always be nice to be in control of how you are perceived by others... But that just ain't gonna work, not here, not out there as I am slowly coming to realize...

You can never control how others perceive you. It's a bit scary that you've only just tripped over that particular truth. But then you're forty something. Far be it from the rest of us to bugger up your thing by handing out some cold, hard facts.

I am so very thankful I have friends here and those long time friends who support me and understand and who don't give a rats ass one way or other.. I wish everyone was that way...

Well you can wish in one hand and shit in the other. Tell me which one gets full first, Esme. What you've enjoyed so far is a group of people (most of those posting in this thread excluded) who've enabled your needy and bad behaviour. The reason that you find yourself in this current predicament is because you've allowed it to happen. Nothing more. Kvetch at William or whatever his name is, it won't make you feel any better.

Because this is all your own doing.

Thank you Alex, Rob, Daniel, Jeff, Eldon, Teresa, LG, Mark, Nadine, Tim & Jeff.. I was sad yesterday and hopeful today. I am trying to work on my F.E.A.R. and quit feeding the fucker.. Everyone had great points to make and I so do want to find a positive way thru these kind of aspects to living with as this will always show itself time and time again.

What? No thanks to Jesus?

Tim, I will head down to Walmart later today and buy one of those full-length mirrors for the home. Oops, I better buy two...

Gayness is not fully accepted in Turkey, but gayman in turkey do live together. It is alright to be gay in the country, when you do not want to openly live it. so the mentality is that if u do not say what u r, even u act as 100% gay, it wont matter for a Turk. i think...

And yes, there are so many Turkish gay men. Int he netherlands, there are so many at least.

Thanks o... I have been out at work for as long as I have been employeed with them. Your gaydar would not work on me as I grew up in a straight world and I get along with them just fine. When you are already accepted as being gay its not a big issue. I have been working with the new guy now for a week and we have hit it off quite well. The +ve thing I have shelved indefinately and will not be subject for conversation unless of course someone asks me... Not sure how I will respond if someone does ask if I am +ve but as Tim, Ann and so many others have said is to hold your head up and be proud of who you are no matter what..

Here's what I would do Eric about the work situation. I'd call a meeting with the boss and the co-worker who can't keep its mouth shut. State in front of the boss what everyone's reported to you. Don't confirm or deny anything. It's none of his or the other person's business, and the meeting is not about you. Ask your boss if he could weigh in on spreading gossip and rumors and if a hostile work environment should be tolerated. Then let him deal with it.

Well Razor, lets just say HR is all over this one.. Big meetings this week. I have had nothing but reashurances that whatever was said, that I am carred for and not to be concerned... We will see how this all goes in the next 48 hours.. Could be a great episode for some doc-u-drama!

Sorry to hear about the stress Eric. I have a tendency to send myself into anxiety too. I should get into the gym and try to conquer it that way. Too bad the offending co-worker is being such a dipsh*t, but I guess if they've had mental problems there's an illness at work there too. Like family, you can't choose your co-workers (unless you're the boss

Well I became a proud member of MD this weekend (missed dose) and then it just got worse as Thurday came to a close.

Me and Will had plans to get his labs and mine this weekend in Denver. I went down the night before forgetting a bottle of Kaletra. Will was coming down on Friday and get very sick and was not able to make his appointment nor bring the bottle down for me. I was contemplating driving back but Dr. Ben called me and told me don't even sweat it. "We will put you back on track on Monday" and it won't effect you one bit. We know you have been compliant the entire year and 1 dose is absolutely no bother." Of course I still worried... So I am down in Denver by myself which was very painful knowing Will was up sick in the mountains. I saw Ben and got my "flu jab" and all my meds. Came home and Will was much better. Waste of my R&R....

Dealing at work with a very tenuous situation with the employee who has had a mental breakdown and I am doing all the right things with documentation to HR regarding the mental breakdown of this person. I found out today the person has again been gossiping about anything he/she can as well as myself. A good friend of mine pulled me aside tonight and said that this person was saying "what do you think the new boss from Turkey is going to think about Eric being gay and maybe even HIV +?" Everyone knows I am gay but not +. Whelp, my heart sank right there. I have not disclosed to anyone except my X-boss who supported me and encouraged me. I have been doing marvelously with my new Turkish boss and he is learning allot from me. I like him... He is out getting additional training for another week before he gets back. I need this job and I hate the idea of this rumor out there if it is... My friend was so nice to tell me about this and he said "You know even if its true, it makes no difference to me!" But what about someone else?? Errrm..

Well the documentation with HR is going along and if things do not improve, I will be filling this position with someone else. I hope this person gets the help needed. BUT I AM FUCKING MAD.. I am tired of secrets again... It takes to much energy - this thing I have..

Is the big meeting on Tuesday or is it Wednesday? Which ever day the meeting falls on, remember what everyone has said here in your thread. Release your Fears...It just makes it much worse than it really is.

Daniel spelled it out every so clearly.

We are all here to support you and the situation will work itself out.

Well Eric, I too am sending you good wishes, and I hope that everything goes well. D

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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge

Well, this aspect of my 4 month adventure at work ended today.. I'm still here, and the other person is not...I was pulled aside by the HR Director today and was thanked for being patient and providing excellant backup to move forward on the situation. I am truly glad this part of my work life is over. I hope for a good while!! I think the Holiday's are shaping up..