Magic Doesn’t Exist.

As some of you know, I took a trip to Europe with my best friend and, oh boy, what a culture shock. It was extraordinary, but nothing like the magic I experienced this weekend in Ashford, Connecticut, only two hours away from home. You can’t tell me magic doesn’t exist when I witnessed it right before my eyes. A place filled with so much love, so much healing, and so much forgiveness. How could this not be magic?

This was my first time meeting the woman who raised my boyfriend. In one way or another, she is mom, and will always be his mom, and I couldn’t thank her enough for raising one of the best men I know. She said she didn’t do much, that she was so old when she got him, but that is not true, she laid a solid, stable foundation for him to grow up, and now I get to benefit from her hard work.

I met neighbors, who in one way or another helped raise him, another mom if you will. Someone who provided reliable support, disciplined when needed, and gave out hugs just as quickly.This fantastic place was more of a culture shock than my Europe trip. I met every strong lady in my man’s life and haven’t ever been more proud to call someone my man because of it. He was raised by a community that provided strength and love when a child needed it most. It is one of the most beautiful things to see multiple people give their love so freely and openly.

This childhood home was a sight from a postcard, on the first day I laid on the floral couch in the sun and he put his head on top of me, we existed minute by minute, watching the lake move as it wanted. We breathed all the stress away, holding each other, looking into each other’s eyes. I was no longer an outsider looking in on his life; I was in this unimaginable, beautiful world where waves of energy struck me to my core. I was in a world I didn’t know I could join. I was looking at his life through his eyes and saw everything for the first time. I saw him for the first time. The trees moved like an old animated film; the water rippled its blue and green hues right up to the lawn. The white dock, with two potted plants on each side, stood solid and sturdy. I witnessed the surroundings that nourished a beautiful soul.

It’s like being able to touch the most delicate, rarest things at the museum and not getting caught, or getting caught but being told it’s okay to be curious. I looked around and for a moment forgot to breathe, forgot my lungs could help me, I was drowning in an unknown peacefulness. I had fallen from outer space and landed in the right moment and at the right time.

The second day I grabbed my book and headed to the green hammock, climbed on, and he followed. We laid there for an hour or two. Swinging back and forth back and forth, watching the ripples in the trees, listening to the birds sing their happy songs, we looked at ease. We were at ease. For the first time in months, I realized I was okay; in fact, I felt like the old me. I wanted to cry; I wanted to shout with joy; I wanted to kiss him and let him hold me till the tears stopped. It was a moment where I realized this amazing man in front of me helped me grow into something better and would continue to help me prosper in my own life.

That night we went out on a paddle-board the water incredibly warm, watched the sun go down behind the trees, and I again had the urge to cry because I didn’t want to leave. We can all only take so much of our family, I know this, I love my family, rant and rave about them but I wouldn’t stay more than a few nights either. I respect that, I respect our work and sleep schedules, and I didn’t push the fact that I wanted to stay so badly. I’m sure he knew exactly how I felt; he has this uncanny ability to read me and know exactly what I need or want and how I’m feeling. Sometimes it’s ungodly annoying, other times it lets us exchange feelings and emotions with no words.

That last day I was there I didn’t feel like I had to talk, I could listen, speak when spoken to, be there and enjoy the people around me for who they were. In return, they appreciated me for who I was. There was no pressure for me to be something I wasn’t it was something I haven’t been able to experience in a relationship.

I never understood why my boyfriend believed in magic, or whatever he would say about the universe giving off energy and being able to harness it. I have never once understood him, but now I believe I do. I have seen it, this place, his home, brought the best magic in his life, and now I’m lucky enough to have been touched by it too.