Rock formations resembling the faces of U.S. presidents evolve from the effects of erosion in South Dakota.

From left to right, many unsophisticated Americans claim to see the resemblances of white, male oppressors G. Washington, T. Jefferson, T. Roosevelt, and A. Lincoln

Geologists are thrilled with the remarkable discovery, calling it the most impressive achievement of natural history to date. Progressive scientists and academics insist the likenesses are not portraits, but merely the appearance of portraits.

~"What we have here is the cumulative effect of trillions of transitional changes over time creating what our human minds perceive as faces," explains Clinton Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion. "Guileless Americans desperately long 'to see' their forefathers up there. This reassuring notion is quaint, but it folds like a deck chair when confronted with the truth that our primitive brains are constantly trying to make sense out of an otherwise chaotic world.

Richard Dawkins, who is an eminent British evolutionary scientist and popular science writer who holds a Chair in the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University, cautions us not to see things that simply aren't real: "Once we start seeing faces up there, we've started down a path that will lead to knuckle-dragging creationist intolerance, or sculpture even."

When I look at Richard Dawkins, I see large sweaty crowds of leather clad omni-sexuals lining up at the local town hall to recite marriage vows. Am I delusional, or just overly optimistic of a New Direction™ for Amerika?

You are neither, comrade. That overly optimistic delusion of yours is almost a sweaty leather clad reality, thanks to the new people’s de-sexualization processes. All reproduction will be from the random mixing of genes in a massive cloning vat where DNA is free to co-mingle with all other types of DNA, minus those for sexual identification. Once the genes are completed, our highly-trained, and underpaid cloning technicians will place them into artificial wombs where they will be fed a steady amount of tofu until ready to be birthed.These processes will both end the need for reproductive sexual contact, and a guaranteed equality of results.

Are we sure this Dawkins guy isn't Alan Alda in mufti? He looks and sounds like Hawkeye and anybody with a hawkeye can tell it's just a pile of rocks.Maybe we can get the Taliban to come in and fix it, like those pile of rocks that looked like some Buddhas in Afghanistan?

BLY you have fostered for me an analogy and I can't wait to bludgeon someone with it. ~The idea that human beings evolved as a result of trillions of transitional mutation coincidences is like the idea that erosion created Mount Rushmore.~ Brilliant!!

BLY you have fostered for me an analogy and I can't wait to bludgeon someone with it. ~The idea that human beings evolved as a result of trillions of transitional mutation coincidences is like the idea that erosion created Mount Rushmore.~ Brilliant!!

RIK

Comrade Rik,

A word of caution. You must remember that the words and sentences that comprise the Mt. Rushmore essay only appear to be brilliant.

I can take no credit for "creating" what must have been a slip, followed by a fall, followed by a face plant into my keyboard which in turn randomly strung together letters forming sentences, thus, creating in primitive minds, the appearance of a meaningful post.

As you know, only the glorious writings of Marx, Dawkins, and the terrific TV commentaries from the ladies of The View, have actual meaning.

Don't forget Bill Maher. What would we do if we didn't have his contorted expression of obvious self satisfaction with his own assumed profundity. I have called my local Komissar and reported that I had expressed positively the possible existance of a creator. I was fortunately let off with a warning, this time. Thank you for helping me reach self realization about the true origins of the universe.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Ex-president Obama declares Irma "Hurricane of Peace," urges not to jump to conclusions and succumb to stormophobia

CNN: Trump reverses Obama's executive order banning hurricanes

ISIS claims responsibility for a total solar eclipse over the lands of American crusaders and nonbelievers

When asked if they could point to North Korea on a map many college students didn't know what a map was

CNN: We must bring America into the 21st century by replacing the 18th century Constitution with 19th century poetry

Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for'

BREAKING: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more.

DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'

Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" is humanity's last chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago

Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise