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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Advice 101

These past couple of days I find that I can't sleep! I get so excited about making new videos and writing about beauty tricks that it's all I think about. It feels so nice to have a voice that can help people. I guess I've always been like that.

I've always wanted to help people (friends, family, random strangers....) However anyone that knows me knows that with whatever advice I give them in the end they know best and it's their choice to make. Forcing advice on someone is not helping it just makes them more confused. For example:

Say your friend came up to you and told you that her boyfriend is ignoring her. You've always thought that her boyfriend is not good for her so you tell her to leave him. Sounds like common sense right? Unfortunately it isn't.
This is why:

You don't know him like she does

It is normal for people to do something others don't like. You can win them all T-T

He might just have been busy with his own life

You can't tell someone to do something, you can only advise them. The choice isn't yours to make and sometimes there are lessons in life that you have to learn by yourself. With that said the best way to go about giving helpful advice to someone is:

Hear your friend/family member/stranger out. - You need to hear their story before making any assumptions. If not for that, maybe they just need to let their thoughts out.

Make sure to not interrupt them when their speaking. - You are there for him/her and it can be upsetting when you interrupt their thought process. It will look as if your not interested in what they have to say.

Try to step away from your bias. - It's hard, he tends to be clingy...

Say what you think about the situation. - Try to be calm the situation might be very difficult and confusing for them already. If you want to help then maintain a stress free vibe^-^

Collect evidence - This sounds funny but if you can talk about something without supporting your words it will affect your credibility thus making you views not valid in their eyes @-@

Let your friend/family member/stranger make his own opinion and solution - like I said before as much as you think what they are going to do is wrong it isn't your choice. If you keep pressing the subject it will only make him/her feel remorse towards you

There is no surefire way to make your friend change something about their life that you feel is wrong, but you can at least make your peace. This is really tough to do... Sometimes all you want to do is help.