Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Icing on the cake

Last time at MOPS a woman got up and shared about a time in her life where she was not capable of changing a situation, the only thing she could do was fight the battle on her knees, in prayer. Haven't we all been there before? Maybe some more than others, but for myself it seems like a place I have found myself in many many times throughout my life. Prior to walking with the Lord I had made a wreck out of my life. I was a catastrophe waiting to happen while I struggled with addictions, anger, unforgiveness, depression. The worst part was that I did not see that this was who I was, instead I justified my behavior in various ways. Anyone from my past can tell you that my life has been a series of unusual events. Random and odd things have always been the norm for me, whether it be Bell's palsy or a car that didn't work when it was supposed to and actually started on it's own without a key, the mechanic who watched it happen said he had never seen anything like it before. A moth once flew inside of my ear and had to be drowned with warm, yes very warm water- trust me my parents tried everything, all the while thinking I was full of it. I have had warts grow in the most odd places, one directly in the center of my forehead and three inside of my nose, no place else on my body. While picking up a friend for a road trip to Tennessee my car just wouldn't start, yes same car, and it sat on the side of the street while we had to find another ride. When my parents went to Cooperstown days later to tow it home, it started right up, needless to say they were not impressed. I broke my collar bone when I was dropped on my head while crowd surfing. The morning after we moved into our new home Drew turned on the oven at approximately 5 a.m. and went into the basement. Meanwhile, the stove caught on fire so we spent the first morning in our neighborhood in a fire truck outside our new home with scared, confused children. We watched as each house lit up to see what was going on. Embarrassing! There are many more examples, but you get the idea. Now I see that many of these things were a result of my own choices, but today I can see where God was with me the whole time, and these things were, in a way, all pointing me to a bigger picture. Some things I haven't quit figured out yet, but the Bell's palsy came after a very stressful time in my life, my body was showing me it had reached it's max. My car, that I would like to add was pink, was a blessing in disguise, maybe two young, naive females heading across the country alone wasn't the best idea. The breaking of the collar bone brought my day to a screeching halt, and without elaborating, that was not a bad thing. I still don't have a bigger picture for the moth or the warts, maybe just a little something to poke fun about, and I am often reminded that witches are the ones we see with warts on their nose. Either way I have always felt that I was being prepared for something bigger, grander. When my path crossed Drew's, who also lead a life of destruction, we were a recipe for disaster. Thankfully the Lord took us as we were and loved us enough to pick us up, dust us off and lead us in the right direction.

After we had Ella, we spent many hours "on our knees." We knew the battle was not of flesh and blood, but against principalities and the darkness of this world. (Ephesians 6:12) Without a strong foundation, rooted in the love of the Lord, I don't know how people make it through life shattering times. And times like these can be life shattering. People are left broken, families fall apart. I look at our little Ella as "the icing on the cake." She was the absolute best gift we could have ever asked for, perfect in all her ways. Although I may not see the big picture, I know that Ella's life with us has a purpose far beyond anything I can comprehend right here, right now. I look forward to where our path with lead us, with her in hearts. She has taught us so many things.