A Post About Our Sex Life

It’s a day for crushes, would-be lovers, actual lovers and, of course, florists. A day for stalkers to step out of the bushes and reveal themselves.

So I thought, in light of this most sexy of days, I’d share the story of how I got a bit for Valentines Day.

I’d barely left my sleep specialist’s rooms yesterday when Tracey messaged to ask how it had gone.

Thing is, even with the fantastic ‘wake me up before you go-slow’ tablets he has me on I’ve still been struggling with gumption on a daily basis. A couple of weeks ago he added a tablet to ensure a better night’s sleep, and while this has helped I still spend much of my day wondering why I can’t brain good.

But this time he’s sure he’s cracked it.

“I think,” he said after several pointed questions, “you’re just plain tired.”

He meant like ordinarily tired and not because of any imbalance.

Something I strenuously disagreed with.

“Well,” he said, “let’s just say I don’t get a lot of patients using ‘but then my wife decides we should have sex’ as an excuse for not ever going to sleep at a reasonable hour.”

Maybe, but I know this is a thing because I was chatting with a mate over beers the other night and the topic of our 40yr old wive’s supercharged sex drives came up.

Not in a high five way either.

“Where was this when we were chaffing at the bit for it?” he wanted to know. “Even five years ago I could have kept up.”

“I feel like I’m being punished for all those times I jabbed her in the small of the back,” I agreed.

The only positive is a certain satisfaction,after many a historically disappointing end to a day, in finally being the one to say no.

The main difference between now and then, as I pointed out to my specialist, is I used to eventually stop hounding my beloved and let her get to sleep.

So my wife is under doctors orders to let me drift off to sleep if it’s after 9pm.

I messaged her the great news – Doctor is happy. Says you’re my problem – and explained how the session had panned out.

I sensibly decided to leave out his suggestion for different bedrooms and a lock on the door. I’d need to increase my anti-depressants if it came to that because I’m a bit of a spooner.

This all happened yesterday, the thirteenth of February. Meaning the first test of Tracey’s resolve to help me not be a zombie all day was-

“It’s Valentines Day!” Tracey announced at about eleven o’clock. “The kids are at school. Want to do something to celebrate it?”

Did I ever!

“Really?” I asked. It’s not like I hadn’t been suggesting this forever. “Of course!”

So we both closed down our computers and headed to the….

Well, I went to the bedroom. It took me a minute but I eventually found Tracey sitting in the car with the engine running.

“I thought you wanted day sex?” I said.

Oh, how Tracey laughed and laughed and laughed at that.

So anyway, we had KFC for Valentines Day. I had a centre breast.

Hope you got a bit too.

Truly our favourite Valentines tradition

“Hey Grace, come here for a second.”“Just wanted to remind you how Valentines is extra special for you because 15 years and 9 months ago you were conc-““Hey, where are you going?”“This is your day! Don’t be embarrassed.”“I remember when you were still an egg and a drunken bit of sperm!”“Hello?”

Raising a family on little more than laughs

This post was not sponsored but the one below is. Our family would appreciate if you would click the photo of Miss9 & her friend to check it out so we can eat meat this week 😉 Thank you, tribe 😀