What is a hipster?

I'm just an ignorant country boy raised insular and uneducated about the rest of the world, so there is undoubtedly a vast sea of knowledge about urban and suburban life, culture, and history that I don't even come close to understanding, and probably could never understand. However, I've been to enough places, seen enough things, and am relatively well plugged into the grid enough that I should know what this "hipster" phenomenon is.....but I don't.

I swear, until fairly recently, I had no idea this crap existed. Of course I've noticed this peculiar trend of guys becoming much more unmasculine, wearing beards that look both unkempt, yet heavily-groomed at the same time, buzzing their hair on the sides of their heads with a metrosexual-looking "wave" on top, and wearing tight plaid shirts and skinny jeans. I've noticed this "look" and "attitude" for quite some time, and have honestly completey despised it for the entire duration of that time, yet I've never known it was part of this phenomenon known as "hipster".

I started working in my state's capital city a year ago this month, and in that time I've been exposed to so much shit that I never knew about. Now all of the sudden I'm hearing words like "hipster", "gentrification", and "organic" thrown around all the time by everyone I run into. "Hey, there's this chill little hipster place we should go eat at." etc.... Everyone but me seems to be in tune with all this shit (even people I know who are not from the city). Where the fuck have I been this whole time? Up until very recently I never knew any of this shit exised as a thing. I believe I had heard the word "hipster" before, but I just thought it was another one of those dumbass labels like "emo" that highschoolers use to label rejects or something, and not a word that denotes an entire cultural movement. Especially not a movement of this magnitude and with as much influence on culture.

I have to be completely honest, I think this hipster shit is the most goddamn fucking retarded and gay horseshit I have ever seen or heard of. Yes, that's the old insular bigot in me speaking. I guess it's just the traditional environment in which I was raised. But I think their influence is ruining everything. Men are becoming pussies, buildings and houses look gay, rock music turned from awesome, macho badassery to watered-down indie-folk crap, and everything is "organic" and "gluten free".

I don't know if I've perceived this whole thing correctly or not. I also freely admit to being a closed-minded hick if that's the route you want to take in your response to me. I just see this whole hipster thing as being indicative of the groupthink, collectivist mantra millennials (my generation) is creating. You can't just be a person anymore. Everything has to be defined as a movement or a label.

Shakespeare wrote "To thine own self be true!",
Declared Oscar the Grouch, the cockroach.
When his acquaintance, Groucho Marx,
Thoughtfully touched his chin replying,
“However I become lost upon pondering,”
“How exceedingly fortunate I have been,”
“To know of my own wondrous existence!”
“To which neither time nor eternity can ever bring diminution,”
“This miraculously everlasting, vibrant living soul was born!”
“Even to ponder such a sublime eternal truth in any depth,”
“These are beautiful words, and I lose myself in thought!”
“Yet the immortal Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote,”
“How do I love thee?”
“Let me count the ways.”
“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height,
“My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight,”
“For the ends of being and ideal Grace.”
“I love thee to the level of everyday's,”
“Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.”
“I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;”
“I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.”
“I love thee with a passion put to use,”
“In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.”
“I love thee with a love I seemed to lose,”
“With my lost saints, ...I love thee with the breath,”
“Smiles, tears, of all my life! ...and, if God choose,”
“I shall but love thee better after death!"
​

Because I did a lot of hipster shit, but I wasnt a hipster because I was more authentic.

I wore Chuck Taylors, was big into listening to vinyl (still am), shot film photography, and rode bicycles everywhere. Also did yoga and worked at a juice bar. Yogas not that hipster I guess. They dont like to sweat or use their body.