A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and asks, “Can I join you?”

Why do you never ask SQL queries to help you move your furniture? They sometimes drop the tables.

We hope those gave you a good chuckle because sometimes database administrators (including you “accidental” DBAs) need some laughter to get you through the day. After all, managing databases - the very heart of IT - at a time when IT success equals organizational success can be a tough, albeit rewarding, gig. Not to mention the fact that more and more, you’re called upon to step outside your comfort zone and manage multiple database platforms, whether Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL or a variety of others, adding to the complexity of your job.

So, we want to give you an outlet to vent a bit about your frustrations as a DBA.

Using the comments field below, tell us about your biggest database performance challenges, combined with what might make your life managing databases easier. While we want to hear about any and all database performance challenges that are top of mind for you, we’re particularly interested in hearing about challenges you face if you manage multiple database platforms.

And if you share your thoughts with us by October 2, we’ll even give you 250 thwack points in return (and maybe a few more SQL jokes to boot).

Do you know a thing or two about managing and monitoring a virtual environment? Than you are definitely the one our User Experience (UX) team is looking for.

Please click here to proceed to our survey, which shouldn't take more than 5 minutes. Make sure to complete the survey by September 18th, and to show you our appreciation for your effort, we'll throw in 250 thwack points. Points will be added to your accounts after the survey closes.

September brings relief in many forms; the kids go back to school, a much needed 3-day weekend to celebrate our labor, and for some of us, a hint of cooler weather. This month we're also "relieving" you from the typical monthly mission quizzes and knowledge testing to focus on you, the IT Pro. This month we want to hear about how you got to where you are and how you worked through the bizarre, comical and most confounding problem of your career.

September Mission

It's time to tell us how you #SolvedIT! Each week we will release a new topic or "trope" and ask you to share a true-life story from your IT career based on that theme. The submission with the most votes at the end of each week will receive their very own customized cartoon strip based on your story. Weekly winners will be entered for the grand prize along with 4 additional submissions hand picked by our Head Geeks for a total of 8 finalists. Our Head Geeks will then choose a grand prize winner who will walk away with 2 VIP passes to Comic-Con 2016 in San Diego!

Looking to pick up some more points? Each submission will earn you 250 points. Also, participants can earn an additional 10 points per tweet for sharing their story with the hashtag #SolvedIT and tagging @thwack. (capped at 1,000 points) This is also a great way to earn more votes for your submission(s)!

Weekly Topics

September 8th - 13th: All's Well That Ends Well

Take us back to that pivotal IT moment and give us the blow-by-blow on your best server, application, storage or virtualization migration story.

September 14th - 20th: Playing With Fire

It's 2AM and you're putting out the disaster recovery "fire" of your career. Tell us how you conquered the challenge and made sure it never happened again.

September 21st - 27th: Live To Fight Another Day

You return from vacation to find your company in the throes of a weekend update/upgrade gone horribly wrong? Give us the details of your most menacing fire drill and how you learned to fight another day.

September 28th - October 4th: The World Ends Tomorrow

How did you surviveagainst all odds and even prosper after an "it's on fire, it's under water, it's melted or it's frozen" incident that has serious environmental impact on infrastructure? Face a hurricane, tornado or earthquake? Even better.

We are aware several of you recently placed an order in the thwack store but did not receive the follow-up email to confirm your order. Unfortunately, our server went offline on August 28th and we have been working with our other vendor to get it up and running. The issue looks to be resolved as of this morning but we were not able to retrieve any orders that were placed between August 28th and September 8th. If you placed an order between these dates, please let us know in the comment section below and we will be in touch.

SolarWinds solutions are rooted in our deep connection to our user base in the THWACK® online community. More than 130,000 members are here to solve problems, share technology and best practices, and directly contribute to our product development process. Learn more today by joining.

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