Thank you Carrie for reminding me that I have failed at so many things and couldn’t be happier about that. It means that I’m that much closer to my success. But, also, it reminded me that I really don’t like using the word failure. Because I don’t think I failed at any job or business or relationship. I just think that I didn’t achieve the results I had thought I was going to achieve.

A short story to make my point. The Wright brothers wanted to conquer the sky – to give wings to man so that he could forever soar with the birds. They did achieve gliding, but real flight – that they failed at. But, perhaps they should be remembered as two of the most successful failures in history.

What!! How dare I make that claim? Well, because through research I have come to find out that a man by the name of Glenn Curtiss was really the father of modern day airplanes. Mr. Curtiss, along with a mastermind group that included a Mr. Alexander Graham Bell, designed a plane he called the June bug that not only took off under its own power, but stayed aloft and actually flew.

I think more importantly than that, Glenn Curtiss’ planes were also as safe as aircraft could be in those days, compared to planes made with the Wright Brothers design. Planes made by the Wright Brothers had a nasty tendency to crash and kill their pilots due in part to an error in the design of the wings. This made the Wright Brothers a bit cranky and they wound (well, the surviving Wright brother) wound up suing Mr. Curtiss for stealing their patented plane design until World War 1 came along and the government stepped in and told both parties to kiss and make up because they needed planes to use in battles.

In closing, although Wilbur and Orville failed to make safe planes – they made a name for themselves that history will long remember.

So, I embrace failure – or should I say – I embrace not achieving my desired outcome – And you should too!

As I’m not that intuitive I can only feel mine. But, I can understand your frustrations. Maybe you are feeling stuck in a rut in your life or you have challenges that you’re facing. Is your relationship with your spouse making you unhappy? Do you have a weight issue? Is there too much month left at the end of your money?

Well, listen up, and you may not like what I’m going to say. Whatever is going on in your life right now, at this very moment – is all of your creation. You have created the reality that is your life – no one else.

But, I am not a victim. I realized that I have the power to change my circumstances if I choose – and so do you.

But, you have to change something – your mind. You have to change the way you think. You have to stop blaming others for your crap. They are responsible for their crap. And so it goes.

You want relief? Here are some steps that can change your mind and change your life.

1. Make a decision to change – right now. And, that decision means that you are committed to your new way of thinking and won’t ever, ever, ever let yourself go back to the way of thinking you had before you read this. You have to have a big reason WHY you want to do this. Example: I tell you to give me $5000.00, but you only have $2000.00 in your bank account. I tell you that if you don’t give me $5,000.00 in twenty four hours I am going to burn your house to the ground, with your pets inside. How committed will you be to getting that $3,000.00? You wouldn’t stop, you would do whatever it took (ethically and legally, I would hope) to get that money. And, you wouldn’t stop when you got tired, you wouldn’t stop because you didn’t feel you were worthy of the money, you wouldn’t stop for any reason. That’s the level of commitment to change that you need. Get it or stay where you are.

2. Don’t blame others for your circumstances. Blaming makes you a victim and victims have no personal power. It’s your mess, admit it and that will free you to move forward. Don’t blame yourself. What? Then who are you going to blame. Nobody, that’s who. You are just going to look at your circumstances as a learning experience, that’s what they are there for.

3. Fall in love. What? Fall in love – with yourself. We are taught from a young age not to think too much of ourselves – HOGWASH!! You have to love yourself to be good to yourself and to be able to love and give to others. So, cozy up to that bathroom mirror and give yourself a big SMOOCH!! Fall in love with who you are.

Okay, that’s enough for today. Do steps 1-3 above. Do them if you want change. No excuses – just DO THEM.

Last night, for fellow members of the tribe in Red Sox Nation, we witnessed an event we’re not used to – the Sox lost and aren’t going to the World Series. The Rays jumped all over each other, yelling and screaming and no doubt had a champagne and cigar fest in the locker room. They were a wildly happy bunch of guys.

When the camera panned over to the Red Sox dugout – it was quite a different scene. The players were packing up their things, it didn’t look like there was much talking going on.

It didn’t have to be that way.

In other words, I would love 🙂 to see players congratulating each other on a game well played – even if it meant they didn’t get to go to the World Series. Because if you can’t find some good in every situation – life just ain’t as much fun.

A big Thank You to Connie Ragen Green for sharing this valuable info as part of her chapter for my upcoming book on women who make six figures and more doing what they love.

If you put just this concept into action, it could change your life – it changed Connie’s.

Connie was at a place in her life where she had to make a change. Her job no longer was the joy that it once was and she had health issues that challenged her keeping the job as well. Totally out on her own, she set out to design her new life and career. Knowing just a little about the law of attraction, she decided to create an image of the new home that she wanted to live in. She admitted to not being a good artist, but wouldn’t let that deter her. She just drew the house that she wanted, the upstairs rooms, the details like white shutters on the window, her dogs by her feet, and a beautiful view out her window.

And, then she drew herself as a stick figure sitting at a computer desk in a room in the house, smiling as she was writing. She finished the picture and put it right in front of her face in her office where she could see it every day.

Then she started visualizing and feeling what it was like to be living in the new home – she really felt as if she was already the owner. She pictured herself feeling healthy and rested and being in the house working at a job in which she was doing what she loved and making more money than she was making in her present life. When she looked at the picture – she felt as if that new home and new career was her reality – even though it was so far removed from her present life at the time.

In just six months she was living in the new home – a home that looked exactly like what she had drawn.
And, she was beginning her new career doing what she loved (writing). And in just three years that dream of living in her new home, with a career that she absolutely loves and is earning her over six figures is now her reality.

That is the power of visualization and attaching a strong emotion to what you visualize.

On Sunday, I posted that this was going to be accountability week. I hope you got your list of things you just had to get done for the week. It’s Tuesday – are you on track? Do you need a push? Have you even made your list yet?

One of mine is that I have to make a pie on Thursday. The list doesn’t all have to be big things. But, I have company coming and I know that it would be nice for my visitor if they were treated to a big piece of homemade pie.

I can’t list my biz lists here – this is my personal blog (for the moment). Well, I’ll tell you a couple of them – I have to transcribe two interviews for chapters in my upcoming book. And I have to have them transcribed by Saturday.

I also have to finish a proposal for some contract work by tomorrow. (this is a big job and one of those “scary goals”). But, I’m on it!!

There, now I’m publicly accountable.

Oh, and I have to come up with a topic for a real blog post by the end of the day….

This is all about accountability. Where the rubber meets the road. Where you actually do and follow through with what you commit to.

Since it’s Sunday, I wanted to give you an idea that can make you have a great, productive and happier week.

See, it’s a cycle. You make a decision to do something, then you follow through, you feel a sense of accomplishment, that’s a reward to motivate you to do more, so that you get that good feeling again. Here’s the opposite – You make a decision to do something, then you don’t follow through, you might feel a sense of wanting to beat yourself up, not physically – that would look weird. Mentally – which is worse. Then you have a bad feeling and what’s worse is you’ve broken trust with yourself. Now, you can’t trust yourself to follow through, and if you can’t trust yourself – who can you trust??? Yikes. You don’t want to go there – because it sets you up for bad vibes.

CRACCCKKKK!!! This is where the lightning bolt hits. Now, touch your forehead with your forefinger and say to yourself – That’s easy, I can, hey wait a minute, what does she mean by that?

Here’s how this works, it’s so diabolically simple and profound, it’s very often overlooked. Find someone you like and who likes you. Tell them your decision, tell them what you are absolutely, positively going to get done in the next day, two days and/or week. State your goal out loud. If possible, check in with your accountability bud at the end of every day of next week. keep each other on track. If you see your buddy not doing what they said, gently ask why. Ask them to do the same for you.

At the end of the week – tally up. You will have completed some of your tasks and celebrate. Nothing elaborate unless you want it to be. You can simply virtually high-five each other over the phone or email.

**************Advanced Tip****************

Choose a scary goal, take what you set out to do and push yourself just a bit past your comfort zone. This is where magic and momentum start to happen.

If you want – you can post your goals for the week as comments to this post. I’m very good at holding people gently, yet firmly accountable.

I’ve been to a few seminars recently and at each one Oprah’s name is mentioned. Authors – they want to get on Oprah, speakers – they want to get on Oprah. It seems as if they think Oprah is the Holy Grail and their key to the castle.

I don’t need to get on Oprah. Don’t get me wrong – if she sees my book and wants to talk to me about it in front of a few million of her closest friends, I’m all over that. But, if it never happens, I’m ok with that too.

Why?

Because of a message here:

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

From what I hear, there’s a recession going on. It’s tough economic times and people are stressed and scared. Personally, I am facing a lawsuit brought against me by an ex-business partner with a trial in less than ten days. I can’t post specifics until it’s over, but needless to say that could cause me stress as well – ya think?

Well, I don’t watch the news, and here’s why. The media is scaring you all that watch it and focusing you to focus on the negative. It helps them sell ads and make them money. It does nothing good for you. Turn it off. Unplug yourself from the downward spiral of negativity. Believe me, if there is news that you must hear – it will find you through people that you come in contact with.

I just spent a week at two seminars learning wealth, business and mindset strategies from some of the most successful internet marketers, speakers and authors on the planet – and almost all of them said this exact same message. Unplug yourself. Mark Victor Hanson said it. I listen to a guy that’s built an empire on the back of one brand.

It may be a bit scary at first – but, try this for a week. Trust me on this one. Hey, just reclaiming the time you spent watching that negative newscast is worth the effort. Now, with the time you’ve reclaimed – do something to move you forward. If you have a dream – here’s a perfect opportunity to decide if that dream is something you really want to do. If the answer is yes, you can start actions to make that happen. If the answer is no – like my friend and mentor Marcia Wieder says – “Dump it” – and start working on what your new dream should be. Who do you want to be? Who do you want to help? What impact do you want to make on the world?

To help make that easier – unplug yourself. In order to look inside yourself for the answers, you need to be less stressed and you need some quiet time – without the noise and barrage of stuff that flies our way every day.

I promise that to be true. So, here’s to the start of the 7 day break from the negative newscast. Let your imagination soar. It’s time to reclaim your dreams.

I like to take lessons from films instead. This lesson comes from the movie Glory. I watched it last night and while I thought it could have had more character development – it was a good story.

The basic story was of the the black soldiers (and their white colonel) who joined the 54th regiment from Massachusetts and weren’t content with just doing menial labor – they wanted to go into battle. They didn’t have to. They could have just done their time, gotten paid (they weren’t paid that much as black men, in fact, many were slaves) and been done with the whole war thing. Instead, they were thinking that they wanted to contribute in a bigger way to a cause that was greater than their lives. Freedom from slavery. But, also to prove that a black soldier could be just as good in battle as a white one. That their blood was the same color.

And, half of the 54th regiment were killed during an assault.

The lesson I take away is this. We are all here for a reason, and it gets clearer when you start asking yourself – how do I contribute to the bigger picture? What am I here to do that will make it a better place to be? It’s time to tune out radio station WIIFM (What’s in it for me) and tune to a new frequency – what can I do for others.

Try this today. Go practice random acts of kindness. Notice how it feels. Really notice how it feels. Even if you’re not acknowledged for the kindness, like if someone just blasts through a door that you held open and that ticks you off, this is when it’s especially important to feel good about what you did.