Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people
who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor
6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be
able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck
parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? "Ooooh,
looky-here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
by every Playboy model in the magazine!". What a bunch of bullshit.

So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out
there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain
which was started by the Romans in 5 A.D. and was brought to this
country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest
continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest
friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about
90 times. I don't care. Show a little intelligence and think about
what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances
are it's your own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel
guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per
letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end
up like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

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