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About russtowne

My wife and I have been married since 1979. We have 3 adult children and 4 young grandsons. I manage a wealth management firm I founded in 2003. My Beloved is a Special Education teacher for Kindergartners and First Graders. I'm a published author of 23 books in a variety of genres for grownups and children. In addition to my family, friends, investing, and writing, my passions include reading, watching classic movies, experiencing waves crashing on rocky shores, hiking in ancient redwood forests, and enjoying our small redwood grove and fern garden.

mmm but you shouldn’t be the one who always apologises, relationships are a two way street. In the end it becomes like a power/ control thing, you love him more so you always apologise even when you know you are in the right because you are so terrified of losing him.

It is not keeping score but when there is a huge imbalance in the relationship, as in one is committed to it working and the other is more on an ego power trip then both lose. In my case I lost far more cos I gave more. In retrospect it was better to stick up for myself than be a doormat and lose even my own self respect. Irony is he dumped me anyway. So being a people pleaser is a lose lose situation. Better to be true to yourself.

We are not in disagreement. If only one person is focused on maintaining and growing a relationship, heartache is sure to follow. I believe nearly everyone has been in such a painful relationship. Often the best result is a speedy end to it so healing can begin and lessons can be learned, creating the opportunity to experience greater joy again.
Russ