Hello friends, fans, and followers. As many of you know, a tenacious band of alt-right, shitmitten, cyberstalkers has been doing everything they can to crawl up my ass for the last month, because they’re pathetic nobodies with no purpose or direction in life. However, they have succeeded in tricking Twitter’s pig-ignorant reporting algorithms into banning first my original @stealthygeek account, and today my replacement @patrickstomlin1 account.

It’s annoying, I’ll admit, but it’s a temporary setback I’ve been anticipating for a while now and have taken steps to mitigate. You’re probably wondering where to get your fix of my peculiar blend of political commentary, snark, and brutal takedowns, and fear not, I have you covered.

First of all, and most importantly, you can subscribe to my email list in the box right above you. I’ll only be using this list to send out pertinent updates when a new blog post goes up, or when I have big news about a new book, promotion, con appearance, etc. No boner pills, I promise. So stick your email up in my box and I’ll fill up yours. Fair? Fair.

For a couple months now, I’ve been boosting my YouTube Channel with original content, including political commentary, stand-up sets, and random nerdy shit. Hit me up, watch a vid or two, and subscribe. I’ll try to be good about updating it at least weekly.

I also run an Author page on Facebook, where I cut out the politics and stick to just the skinny on my publishing career. Throw it a like, if you like.

I bit the bullet and got on Instagram a while back. I still don’t understand the ecosystem, but I’m doing my best. Follow me there @pstomlinson.

If you’re a particularly bookish type as I am, you probably already have a Goodreads account. Miraculously, so do I! You can friend or follow me at my Goodreads Author Profile to see what I have coming out, what I’m reading, and reviews of whatever I actually manage to finish.

Finally, and maybe most usefully, Amazon actually lets you follow your favorite authors and will email you updates whenever they have a new release coming out. Never get caught off guard and miss a surprise sequel again. My Amazon page is here. Follow me, and while you’re there, it wouldn’t kill you to preorder STARSHIP REPO, coming from Tor Books in May. Trust me, it’s going to kick ass.

Anyway, that’s enough shameless self-promo for one day. Tomorrow I promise to put up a blog post half as self-serving, at a minimum. Thanks for swinging by, and don’t forget to spread the word on the socials.

Budd Dwyer

Leonard Lake

4 months ago

Patrick,
Im not involved but have watched you dig yourself deeper, and egg these people on. I was once hated by these guys too. But I realized it was my fault in the end. They aren’t a ” tenacious band of alt-right, shitmitten, cyberstalkers ” These are people you went after. People who’s twitters you got banned over [Moderator edit] doxxing, suicide demands, death threats, and an endless stream of racist/misogynistic/homophobic slurs promoting the inherent violence of white supremacy and Nazism [/Moderator edit]. and they retaliated, as all people should!

You need to own up for what you did, you [Moderator edit] stood up to cyberbullies and fascists [/Moderator edit].

I dont think you’re cut out for the internet, or comedy … or writing. [Moderator edit] Fortunately, what I think is irrelevant, as I’m not one of the people cutting your checks and my opinion is therefore worth less than a sippy-cup full of cat piss. [/Moderator edit]

Patrick S. Tomlinson

Leonard Lake

4 months ago

I was going to try to help you, since I once was in your situation But your childish way of editing comments has proven that you are a man of lower stock that needs to learn an important life lesson. When you kick a bees nest, you better know that your ass’ll get stung. I no longer feel bad for you.

Nana

Patrick S. Tomlinson

4 months ago

Wrong on all counts, little one. The crusade has been against me, because you’re all incredibly threatened by me for some reason. And only a small fraction of my posts this last month have been about your children’s crusade to silence me, with about the same degree of effectiveness as that disaster. But that would require you to be honest with yourself, which isn’t something a single one of you are capable of.

Common Sense

Patrick S. Tomlinson

4 months ago

I am writing another book, little one. And rewriting another. And writing another screenplay. Because for all your obsessive, endless attacks, you’re not taking up more than a small fraction of my time, and doing no appreciable damage to me, my future prospects, or my reputation.

I don’t need to leave you behind when you’re already so far beneath me.

Steve C

4 months ago

[Moderator’s edit] I have to resort to fat-shaming people because I’m even uglier inside than the barbs I limply try to throw at others, but introspection is impossible because I might have to admit the fact my circumstances are the result of my own choices and mediocrity.

Patrick S. Tomlinson

Fatrick

4 months ago

[Moderator’s edit] I like how you edit the comments to reflect the reality horribly sad people like me are trying to conceal with our desperate bid for attention and relevancy, even though our absence of talent and behavior warrants neither. We should be learning a lesson from this, but can’t because that would require introspection, which is beyond our maturity level as we’re all permanently stuck in a purgatory of masturbatory adolescence. Sorry about your twitter, that was dickish of us.

Patrick S. Tomlinson

Paul Hargis

4 months ago

[Moderator’s edit] It’s so cute how you call us out on our total bullshit by editing our comments to more accurately reflect the reality of the situation, but even after days, we still can’t learn the lesson that you are in control here. We keep demanding you commit suicide because we’re terrified you’re stronger and more persistent than all of us put together and we don’t know what else to do.

Patrick S. Tomlinson

Uncle Paul Hargis

4 months ago

[Moderator’s edit] I wet the bed well into my “adulthood,” which is why I’ve never brought a woman home. This is the root of my jealousy towards you and why I keep making misogynistic comments about your wife.