CRACKS OF DON: Why didn't Weir win more? Too many pineapple pizzas

The first time I was left alone overnight to look after my son, he was only three or four years old.

I had just put him to bed when a friend called to say he was at another friend’s place and they were getting the Mike Tyson fight on pay-per-view. The responsible thing would have been to say ‘no thanks,’ but nobody has ever accused me of being responsible.

I woke the kid up and off we went to the friend’s friends’ house, where it just so happened a golfer visiting Ottawa to play the Eagle Creek Classic was staying.

That was probably 25 years ago and to this day my son still remembers sitting on the couch beside a nice guy named Mike who introduced him to pineapple on pizza.

Mike’s last name? Weir. You know him as the only Canadian male to win a major championship. Not just any major. The 2003 Masters.

That was a big year for Weir. It looked to be his breakthrough. Along with picking up the green jacket, he won two other PGA tournaments. He was only 33. He was going to battle golf’s giants tooth and nail every weekend for a decade.

Except he didn’t. He won once in 2004 and again in 2007. But that’s it.

Why did Weir’s career fizzle when it looked ready to thrive? There’s probably a number of good reasons, but I always thought he was too small to play with the big boys.

In 2003, Weir weighed 155 pounds and was tied for 68th in driving distance. His average poke was 289.2 yards, more than 32 short of the leader.

That’s a lot of ground to make up.

On Tuesday, Weir turned 50. He’s looking forward to the Champions Tour. He’s excited about the way he’s playing. We’re pumped to watch him contend again. Distance should be such a determining factor with the seniors.

Just the same, we’d like Weir’s chances a bit more knowing that these days, he occasionally throws in a meat lovers with those pineapple pizzas.

TOP OF THE ORDER

The friend’s friend, Cam Donaldbell, remembers that week back in the ’90s and says Weir’s caddie “disappeared” every night, either in the Market or the Elgin St. pub strip. So he and the friend would take Weir to the Centrepoint Don Cherry’s, which was owned by Dan Cowley, son of hockey Hall of Famer Bill Cowley. “Dan didn’t seem real impressed (to meet Weir),” Donaldbell said. “A few years later I’m in there, Dan comes over, and I ask him, just how many Masters champions have drank in your establishment?” … How appropriate would it be to have America’s favourite pastime return July 4? Of course, Scott Boras isn’t in favour of the idea, at least not the way owners are proposing to absorb financial loses that come with games being played in empty parks. He will advise players to reject a proposal if they are asked to forgo their salaries and split all revenue 50-50 in an 82-games season that would have playoffs expanded to include 14 teams. “The players I represent are unified in that they reached an agreement (in negotiations six weeks ago) and they sacrificed anywhere from 30% to 40% of their salaries so that the games could amicably continue,” baseball’s super agent told Sports Illustrated. “The owners represented during that negotiation that they could operate without fans in the ballpark. Based on that, we reached an agreement and there will not be a renegotiation of that agreement.” Unless the billionaires and millionaires can come up with another plan, don’t expect to see America’s favourite pastime return July 4 — or any time soon after that.

CONNECTING THE DOTS

Watching baseball on TV, you wouldn’t notice or care if the park was empty. Watching golf without fans, especially the yahoos, would actually be nice. Football wouldn’t be the same minus a crowd, but it would be (Chicago) bearable. Where you’d really miss fans at a sports event would be basketball, but even more so in hockey, especially the NHL playoffs, where the game gets more physical and more emotional … Another female golfer from Ottawa is turning pro. Grace St-Germain’s NCAA career at the University of Arkansas is over and she’s about to become an apprentice professional with the PGA of Canada. St-Germain, a former national team member, posted three rounds of 70 during her collegiate days. At this point, she’s no Brooke Henderson. But then who is? … Odd time for a popular ice cream brand to be selling 2 litre (1.66 litres actually, but who’s counting?) containers for $2, or about $4 off the regular price. It’s like Lysol putting wipes on sale now, when people would pay five times what they’re usually worth.

PERSONALLY SPEAKING

We really need games to analyze and dissect. On Tuesday, I was ripping Good Morning Football’s Kay Adams for a sloppy job applying her lipstick … There’s a word for being “suspended with pay.” It’s called vacation … The new girl at the office doesn’t appreciate when I leave the sandwich stuff out on the counter while I eat. Before she started working here I’d just make sure it was all cleaned up before she got home.

ON THIS (May 13, 2013) DATE

Who knows how far the Toronto Maple Leafs might have travelled down the playoff road had they not collapsed like a tent in a wind storm (blowing a three-goal lead with 14:31 left in the third and losing in overtime) against the Boston Bruins in Game 7 of their first-round matchup exactly seven years ago. The Bruins went on to eliminate the Rangers in five games and sweep the Penguins before losing the final to the Blackhawks in six. It’s not totally preposterous to think Toronto could have won the Cup that spring. Of course, that championship would have come with an asterisk, as the work stoppage shortened the season to 48 games.

FINISHING TOUCHES

NBC’s Pierre McGuire may only need an hour or two of sleep per night as he catches every hockey game during the season, but he also says he loves watching the Boston Marathon. I bet he doesn’t have the full collection of Boston Marathons going back to the first, in 1897, like I do … “Every moment not watching this Michael Jordan documentary (The Last Dance) is a moment wasted. If you like sports and aren’t watching you’re effing up.” That ringing endorsement is from the three-year-old mentioned at the top of this column 25 years later.

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