Ovarian Cancer Hope

Counters

WARNING: Some of the Content here may be Objectionable to some. I have this blog labeled as "Adult Only" as a common courtesy for those who may easily be offended by Adult topics such as the Truth, Down to Earth topics, realities of living with Ovarian Cancer and/or any life threatening disease that goes along with it; Sexuality, Medicinal Cannabis, Profanity, and of course plenty of unpleasant body functions are also discussed here. This is a very tough battle for which I don't intend to hold anything back on what I am facing.

This blog is very personal and comes from the heart of a real fighting cancer patient who wishes nothing more than to live for all of those I love my own will to live, and my love of life. While sometimes I might be on heavy medication (prescribed by my doctor) and occasionally I might write about things or subjects that one may never even think about or consider; so please consider that as well. Yes; whacked out things might even be found here; but I mean everything in all good intentions.

This blog is not at all intended for the faint hearted, those who lack a sense of humor, have no idea what down to earth means, greedy mean people, and/or those who don't know how to share the world with others, and especially those who are unable to easily put themselves into the shoes of others. This blog is mostly about my journey of living my life in the best ways that I can under the Golden Rule and appreciating all of the GOOD KHARMA that comes my way! Never take anything in this world for granted; especially family and friends!

Monday, March 7, 2011

This is Jayne's husband Jimmy. This is my first post to Jayne's famous blog.

Jayne passed away peacefully this morning. She did not appear to be in any pain.

This blog was very important to her in chronicling her battle with this terrible disease. Your support and love she received through the comments on the blog were truly inspirational to her and helped her to continue to fight and to continue to enjoy her life. I loved hearing her recite all your comments to me. It was very important to Jayne to use this blog to share knowledge so others could learn through her experience: including patients, loved ones, and medical professionals alike. For so many people who are newly diagnosed, it is the unknown things to come that are the scariest. This was a way for Jayne to share her ideas and experiences in combatting this disease. It is my hope that this blog will continue to be a resource for people, even now that Jayne is gone.

I told Jayne when the time came the Spirit Horse would come to take her to the other side. That horse's name was Graple, which is short for the Grey Appaloosa she had as a child.

While she was living, I always told her and all of our friends that she was the angel that walks amongst us; now she flies amongst us.

125 comments:

What a beautiful, remarkable, courageous, inspirational woman Jayne was. . .heaven is blessed to have such a stunning angle. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of Jayne's family. Peace to all of you.

Dear JimmyThank you so much for taking the time to post this in what must be a very difficult time for you. We all loved Jayne - we will all miss her. I am so sad that she's gone, but I am happy to have had her in my life.She was so lucky to have you - I hope you also take advantage of any support we can give you too.

With lots of love to you and Blue Belle and Tonto - and my heartfelt condolences.xxx

Jimmy , I am so sorry for your loss. Jayne was an incredible woman- strong and courageous. I looked forward to reading her posts and hearing about the adventures of BlueBelle and Tonto. She sent me links about training service dogs and was there for me when I recurred. I will miss her.

I'm sorry...I cannot stop crying for Jayne, for you, and for all the women fighting this disease. Jayne endured much suffering yet was determined to do whatever it took to hold onto life. She was incredibly brave; as someone who has ovarian cancer myself I do not think I would have the fortitude and courage she displayed to keep going. I am glad her passing was peaceful. My very deepest condolences to you and all Jayne's friends and family. She will be missed!! MaryAnn

I'm so relieved to know that she didn't seem to be in any pain. We can't avoid death, but if we can avoid pain then something important has been achieved. My 74-year-old mother has ovarian cancer and that is my wish for her--to be free from pain when the inevitable comes. Thank you, Jayne and Jimmy, for sharing your lives with us.

So sorry to hear about this. Jayne was the strongest fighter i have ever known. I am sad that she is gone and will miss her comments and blog posts. I am glad she will not be suffering anymore or in pain. Prayers are with you Jimmy during this difficult time and always. You took such good care of Jayne, we all love you for it and will always remember both of you. We were all very lucky to have her for the time we had her. rest in peace sweet Jayne

Jayne was the most beautiful soul I have met on my journey. She will never know exactly how many lives she truly has touched. I am so sorry to hear that she has past but I do know I am glad to have shared in her life. Jimmy I hope you and Blue Belle and Tonto are doing ok. Jayne will be forever loved.

Jimmy, thank you for letting Jayne's Inspire friends know of her passing. She was amazing and so courageous. And you two shared a love that was truly beautiful. I am thinking of you now that she is gone. Take good care of yourself and your critters.

Jimmy,I'm so sorry for your loss. Jayne was a fighter and an inspiration to so many of us.She was a very lucky woman to have you in her life.Know that she was loved by many and will be missed. Another angel gets her wings.Thoughts and prayers to you, Tonto, Blue Belle, and your family.

She was an amazing person to witness. Thank you for posting on fb and here. I wish you so much love and less suffering. I hope your future holds many gifts and you are able to move onward and upward. Jayne would want that for you.

JimmyI am so sadden by the loss of your beloved Jayne. I will miss her chronciling of her journey. Athough, her journey on this earth has ended, as, you said, she is angel among us.Peace to you,MargieChicago

Dear Jimmy - wonderful Husband and Caregiver and to Jayne's family and friends, I am so sorry that this day has arrived. I live in North Carolina and today while I was out running errands I saw a Teal star shaped balloon floating freely in the blue sky. I immediately thought of Jayne- and knew somehow she was free of this disease. It was 1:52 EST. It's a little bit strange I know, but that ballon was so pretty and just free. That's why I looked at the clock....I'm an Ovarian cancer survivor and Jayne has been such an inspiration to me and so many others. I just now heard this news. Peace be with you, your star angel will always be with you no matter where you are. Ellen

Thank you for letting all of us know during this difficult time for you. I found Jayne's blog while my MIL was battling the same disease it was encouraging to read Jayne's journey. My MIL passed away in August 2009 after a 4 year battle. Thank you for sharing Jayne and peace be with you.

Janyne was so sweet - I wrote to her after I found her blog as my best friend was diagnosed with ovarian cancer - I asked her how I could be supportive to my friend and she gave me many ideas and I so appreciated that. I really enjoyed her blog and reading about what an amazing husband you were and stories about Tonto and Blue Belle. Jayne you are an amazing and strong woman and will be missed! Enjoy heaven and all its beautifulness! (=Kristy MartinPhoenix, AZ

I am so sorry for your loss. My wish for you is that you can be supported by family, friends, coworkers, and hospice through this time. Don't think you have to be a tough dude, don't be afraid to ask for support! You deserve it.

I am so grateful that Jayne went peacefully. She did it her way, with a tremendous amount of passion for you, for life, and the things she believed in.

I had a health scare a year and a half ago, and since that time, I have been reading Jayne's blog. I have learned so much.

Ahhh Jimmy, I am so sorry to hear this though I knew it was inevitable. Jayne has been such an inspiration to me. I will always remember her and you, Blue Belle and Tonto. Thank you so much for giving your time to let us know. I know she is free of pain and she has her wings now. I will miss her dearly.

Jimmy, I am so sorry. I know she's pain-free and in a better place, but we are now without her. Lean on others as you get thru the next few weeks. Take time for yourself. I talk to people who have passed thru my life on a daily basis. You took such good care of her--we all loved you for that. Please take care of yourself. We hope to read your posts in the coming days. Lots of hugs to you. Love you, Deb

Your wife was an amazing and unforgettable addition to our carpool. We all loved her dearly, and each day we could 'pool together was an absolute gift. We were always chatting away, making our drive to Gilead enjoyable. I don't think we ever stopped laughing!

Thank you for taking the time to write this post. I hope you find comfort in the coming days, knowing you were the best husband a woman could ever ask for. Strong, trusting, loving, and generous with all that you have. For the longest time, we called you by your carpool nickname,"George" because Jayne was always saying how you were hotter than George Clooney! She loved you very much.

My thoughts are with you now and in the future. Jayne has grown her wings and taken flight and now you are left to find an existence without her. I empathize since I lost my beloved when I was 50 and 16 years later, he is still with me every day.

Jayne was a courage woman who shared her gifts and suffering and depended on your support and what is probably kept her alive for so long.

Please know that those of us who supported Jane, will be here for you as well if you decide to continue with this blog.

For being the most wonderful caring husband to Jayne. You provided lots of love and support during her battle. I wanted you to know that your amazing wife touched many people with her open & honest blog. People like myself who live all the way across the other side of the world in a little country called New Zealand (home of lord of the rings movies!). My mum is dying from ovca & I found Jaynes blog provided lots of valuable info. Even though I have never met Jayne I felt as though she was a close friend simply because her posts were so real and honest. She shared many personal things with us. A very courageous thing to do!

Jimmy I am so sorry for your loss. Jayne just adored your and showed us all what a wonderful man you are. You are so blessed to have each other. Jayne is now with the angels watching over you and your furry family, until that day that you meet again. Rest in peace Jayne, we will miss you, your fighting spirit and your love. Victoria Muir xx

I lost my mom to ovarian cancer three years ago when I was 19. Jayne's posts about you remind me so much of the care and love my dad showed my mom through her entire life. It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are, and the kind of woman Jayne was to have caught your eye from the beginning. Our favorite women are now in heaven and free of pain while we begin the next stage of our journey on Earth. I pray that the grieving process is kind to you and that you are able to feel the love radiating from your and Jayne's friends near and far. xoxo Sami

Oh, Jimmy.My heart is broken. For you because of your loss, and for us because of our loss. God, she helped me out so many times with advice and humor, and actually, my favorite stories were about you. She loved you so very much. It always squeezed my heart to read about her love for you, and the beautiful, loving way that you cared for her. We should all be so lucky to have someone like you.I wish for you peace in your heart, comfort for your beautiful soul, and strength to withstand the pain of losing your beautiful wife.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Jimmy and your family. Sweet Jayne will no longer have to deal with the pain. The good Lord has better plans for her now. She has been an inspiration to us allFrom your friend Kimberly from work

Dearest Jimmy,Thank you for letting us know Jayne has passed over. I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you..She was truely an earth angel and you too, you have both inspired my life, I will miss her posts deeply...With Love and Light,Blessings,Vicki

Jimmy,Thank you for the update. Jayne was a constant inspiration to be. I found her blog when I was dealing with a potential ovarian cancer issue, and her blog brought comfort and knowledge. She had such a genuine spirit and huge heart. I will miss seeing her updates, but I'm happy to have "known" her, even if it was only via the internet.

Jimmy, she was a special woman to many on the Internet and to all women who knew or knew about her. You will feel the hurt of losing her and always have her in your heart. I am always here if you need me.

Dear Jimmy,Thank you so much for taking time to post. I have followed Jayne's blog for some time now and my own mother passed away from this dreaded disease on January 30th. She also read the blog and was amazed at Jayne's courageous spirit and knew that she could not have been as strong as your wife to endure this for years and years.Peace to you and I just know that my mom and Jayne have finally met in heaven!Regards,Erin in Virginia

Jimmy, (Bluebell and Tonto too!)I am so very saddened to hear of Jayne's passing. I have been following her blog religiously, since my mother's recurrence of OC in 2008. My mother passed away 2/7/11, which was also her 61st birthday. Jayne was so "real" in her posts which was a blessing to me in following my mother's disease. I looked to her for insight and advice on how to handle OC in such a brave and honest nature. I pray that Jayne and Graple are enjoying riding together.......What am I talking about - of course they are!!!With much love, peace, and uttermost sadness for your tremendous loss,Kerri

Jimmy-So very sorry about the loss of your wife, Jayne. I think she really was transcendant and I've never known it was possible for one person to simply know no other way to be than to be generous without a flinch. She was that person.

Bless you a million times over for the awesomeness she chronicled in these pages. Never seen anything quite like it. I wish you peace as you begin your journey through life - your Jayne gone only from our sight. She is still there.

Dear Jimmy, I had the urge Monday morning to tell my angel horse Sassy and angel dog Buddy to be sure to welcome Jayne on the other side when she arrived. I had no idea she actually had crossed over - just the feeling she would love my furry friends too.

Jimmy, I am so sorry about Jayne. She fought the good fight. She was an inspiration to everyone. I taed to her n the phone alot, and posted on her page when I could. I jst feel like I really wanted to see her. I know she is not in pain anymore. i have always prayed for her comfort. She loved you so much and you arfe right she is an ange among us. I would like to have your address if you dont mind if you read all these. If I can do anything,please let me know. I am going to try to befriend you. I know you are hurting. I lost a good friend las year to cancer and my aunt in 1993. she was an angel among us too. I knew charlotte from Pauline. We road the bus together. She is a sweet woman and i miss her already. Love to you and your family. I am praying for the peacethat passes all understanding and that Graple carried her to sleep peacefully. Hugs. Jennifer Larkins

Jimmy,I'm very sad about Jaynes passing. I don't know what to say. I'll always remember the good times we had working at Gilead together. I know how much she loved you. Your all she talked about. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Marlyn-

Jimmy,After all settles down and you have time to think and reflect on the incredible number of people Jayne connected with you might want to consider getting Jayne's blog published in book form. There really are people out there who aren't comfortable with computers and they would benefit reading her words. Just a idea, but I think Jayne would go for it because she loved connecting with people and sharing her story. Hope you are fairing all right. Life is probably a whirlwind now.....just remember to take care of yourself. Love ya, Deb

Dear JimmyThank you for your message. My heartfelt condolences to you and Jayne's family. She was such a good soul and so funny and kind. She will be missed all over the world, as far as here in Australia. I so admire the care you gave to Jayne and the love you shared.Thinking of you at this sad time.Kathleeen x

My breath is taken away, and although we knew her time was near, it's still a shock. Seeing photos of her playing, riding her bike, writing about her love for you, all deeply moved me. She woke me up and told me to live. I am so sad and wish I could bring her back for you. My deepest sympathies. I will miss her so so much. love, Denise

Her sweet brave spirit will be missed. I felt very blessed to have known her for the short time I did.

For the past three weeks Jayne has been in my mind in deep thought, now I understand why. She was a very "sweet spirit and funny." She encouraged me a lot and even came to my defense when others bashed me for doing alternative treatments inplace of chemo for OV Stage 3A.

As I read the books that Jayne sent me ... will take a different meaning for me ... as if she is telling me not to give up ... with alternative treatments.

There are no words to express the way I feel when reading this woman's courageous and beautiful story on this blog. I found this a few days ago and have been reading non-stop since. It has indeed, changed my outlook on life itself.

Wow. I just read this. I kept up with her blog for so long. She is such an amazing woman and I can only hope I am half as amazing as she is. May God be with you and your family. It's been a month now but it doesn't get any easier.

Dear Jimmy, I have been following Jayne's blog for so very long. And, here I have been out of the country and just checked in today to find that she is gone. I'm so sorry for your loss. She loved you so very much and a love like that will last you for your lifetime. She kept hope alive for me when I got my diagnosis of Stage IIIC Ovarian. I am in remission now for almost four years and she gave me hope that I would live and here I am. March 7 is a special day for me. My son was born on this date and my dad passed on this date and now sweet Jayne. I know Jayne is at peace and will prepare for your arrival many years from now. Stay strong in her love and know that there are many who keep her and you in their hearts as well.Much love to you and your sweet Jayne,Judi in New Mexico

Jayne's blog was so much more than a story about cancer.....It truly was a love story. Jimmy as you read her blog you can take great comfort, knowing how very much she felt safe and loved. Wishing you all the best.

Jimmy, my sincerest condolences on your loss. I'm so glad that Jayne decided to share her story with the world and I've enjoyed every minute I've spent reading her blog. Anyone can make a difference in the world, and all it takes is the courage to stand up and speak. She was truly an inspiration.

I just read this this morning through a link on Inspire.com. My thoughts and prayers are with her family. I hope that knowing that other people out there (like myself-newly diagnosed) will continue to read her blog.

I wish you bravery, peace and kindness. I watched my Mother die over the course of 10 years. First complications from Reconstructive surgery for Breast Cancer, then Lung Cancer and finally the Lung cancer came back afer remission at stage 4. No one understands that hasn't dealt with all of the pain and hurt and things that have to be done regardless of how we are feeling. It is just a "bitch" pardon my french. I wish good things for your future. God bless you.

G'day Jimmy. I read Jayne's blog from start to end taking me quite a few days. What a brilliant soul she has been. She has inspired me to stop whining and get up off my arse more often. I've had thyroid cancer but it is nothing compared to what Jayne went through. What a woman! She went out of this world making every day count and touching more people than she could have ever imagined. Jimmy might I suggest you get this whole blog made into a book? I reckon it would be fantastic for many cancer patients to read (and non-cancer patients!)Also carers could see how you managed on a day to day basis. I reckon part of the proceeds could go to Ovarian Cancer research. Lord knows it needs more help! Here in Australia its illegal to possess marijuana but I can see the benefits of it for long term sufferers. I just wish our politicians would understand that! I hope at this point now some 7 months since Jayne passed that you are coping and enjoying a happy life. Pat Miss Blue Belle and Tonto for me! With much love and peace to you.Maria

Jimmy!I stumbled upon this blog just now.. many many months later. Bless you and your family.. Jayne's blog is a great great thing in the net. I hope that you and everyone are well many prayers are for you.. and the love that you showed Jayne!WOW.. she really let everyone know how much you did for her, how much she loved you and you her! xxx liz

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Dear Jimmy: I know this is a hard day for you - the anniversary of Jayne's passing. Jayne has been in my thoughts for several days now. I know she is at peace and without pain. She was an courageous women.JeanineAn Inspire friend

Thank you Jimmy and Sweet Jayne! I just found your blog today and was so touch by your story. Jayne really was and continues to be a bright light in this world. She was courageous to share her and your story. You two are some of the strongest positive people ever. I wish I had known her but what you two did will live on. Thank you! Hope you found peace and thank you for letting us know of Sweet Jayne's fate. May you two meet again someday. Peace and light to you and your family.

I can not stress how touched I am by this blog and Jayne's courage. I too am fighting cancer and keeping a blog for the same reasons Jayne did. Even after her death, she is still reaching out. I reblog the last posting onto my blog. Thank you Jayne wherever you are. I am sure you are smiling down.

I came across Jayne on another persons blog...from 4 years ago.It took some doing but I finally found her here...Jimmy, you are truly an angel here on earth! There are very few that can endure what you have had to endure while watching the woman you love slip away...she is with you now and forever, even as you move on with your life, she is smiling down upon you while giving her full blessings in what ever direction you may now go. One day you shall be together again...Thank you for the reminder of what today means, when tomorrow may not come....Love and Light, Amy

We deal with grieve and lost sometimes. I am sure Jayne left some beautiful memories with all of the people that she be with. Let's hope she is resting in peach in heaven now and pray for the better future for those people she loved.

This is my blog regarding tips to be happy, and to deal with grieve and lost. Hope it will help some of you guys :

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Disclosure

My techniques and treatments work simply for me and may not produce the same results for others. Cancer is a very tricky disease in which it is very different in everyone it touches. No two cancers are the same just as we humans are not the same. What works for me may not work for others.

I love life and expect to live for as long as I can. I intend to use those treatments that do work for me which includes medicinal cannabis. I'm still alive with this disease over 7 years later because of this miracle plant and as long as I have my medicine available; I intend to survive many more years. I hope one day the Federal Government will eventually grow up and be led by true leaders who represent the people and not just coorporations; real people who live by the Golden Rule "treat others how you would want to be treated". I also hope the Government of the US can finally learn to admit that it has made a mortal mistake in making this life saving plant which is provided by GOD and does indeed have the ability to provide all of us with food, fuel, clothing, shelter, and medicine; a mistake that have made is that it is illegal. Yes, it was a mistake out of greed, ignorance, and racism that this miracle plant is illegal. This is a confirmed fact and we should all know and face it.

Cannabis is not at all harmful and in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps our economy can once again grow as it has in the turn of the century by making this life saving plant legal once again.