Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Gummi Revolution

Christmas has always held a special place in my heart for many reasons, and most of those reasons involve candy. I mentioned it before around Halloween but it bears repeating: holidays are defined by their candy selection. Holloween is the easy one, sure, but please don't dismiss Christmas too quickly. Between all the varieties of candy cane and all the chewy peppermint thingies, Christmas is a close second (with Valentines day jogging along in third). Christmas is the mint holiday. This is the only season that brings about the odd juxtapostion of minty fresh breath and filmy teeth. In short, there is nothing wrong with Christmas candy.

Nothing.

But this Christmas is extra special. This Christmas The Wife and I will be taking a road trip (ROAD TRIP WOO!!!) down to Florida to see the family. What does this have to do with candy? Well, what's a road trip (ROAD TRIP WOO!!!!) without a four pound bag of gummi candy from Mr. Bulky? Nothing. A road trip (ROAD TR- nevermind, this is getting silly) is nothing without candy.

Nothing.

Mr. Bulky (or whatever Mr. Bulky-esque store we actually found) is sort of a wonderland of candy. Nowhere else will one find gummi alligators. Or sharks. Or gummi-filled turtles.

Now, you might think that a gummi catterpillar tastes the same as a gummi dinosaur...but that's just you revealing your ignorance. Much like pasta, the different shapes are essential to the candy. After all, if you bite the head off a gummi army man, you are just partaking in sugary goodness. If you bite off the head of a real army man, and you're just an insurgent. And, as always, nobody likes and insurgent.