President Obama is sitting at his desk, busily at work. Vice-President Biden enters.

JOE: Hey, Barack.

BARACK: Hey, Joe.

JOE: Barack, let’s take Airforce 1 for a spin.

BARACK: No, Joe.

JOE: Come on, come on. We’ve been cooped up in this hell hole all day.

BARACK: No, Joe.

JOE: Barack. You work too much. I work too much. Let’s go for a spin. What do you say, Barack?

BARACK: No, Joe.

JOE: Give me the keys.

BARACK: No, Joe. You’ve never flown a plane.

JOE: Excuse me, Barack, I used to fly planes all the time when I was in the Navy. Let a veteran enjoy the few remaining years he has.

BARACK: No, Joe. I’m about to have a conference call with the Prime Minister of China.

JOE: Pffffftttttt. Prime Minister of China? What is he, your boss?

BARACK: (Stares at Joe for a moment then tosses him the keys.) I have to be back by 3pm.

In Airforce 1. Joe turns the ignition.

JOE: Oh Barack, Listen to that engine purr. Just like those old Navy planes that I used to fly over Korea.

The jet engines of Airforce 1 are fully ignited.

BARACK: Joe! Wait a ‘sec! You were never in the Navy! Do you even–

ZOOM! Airforce 1 takes off.

JOE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I got you, Barack. I got you! Oh, Barack, that was rich. ‘Give me the keys to Airforce 1, Barack. I used to fly planes in the Navy.’ I LOVE IT! HAHAHA! Oh, Lord. (Slaps hand on dashboard as he laughs.) HAHAHA! By the way Barack, please fasten your seatbelt, we are at a cruising altitude of 20,000 feet. HAHAHA! (Slaps dashboard.)

BARACK: Will you stop slapping the dashboard? This isn’t a TV tray, Joe. It’s the control panel of the most–Oh, Joe, we’re being trailed by F-16s. Radio them for help.

JOE: Nah! Did you say you needed to speak to the Prime Minister of China? Why not pay him a visit? HAHAHAHA!

BARACK: Joe! I promise you, if you land the plane I will resign and you will be president!

JOE: No, thanks, Barack! I like flying this plane better. I’d prefer to actually feel in control of something! HAHAHAHA! Just kidding, Barack you’re in control. You’re in control. Coming down for a landing, Mr. President. Coming down for a landing. I hope. HAHAHAHAHA!

JOE:Damn. I thought I was going to be president. HAHAHAHA! Just kidding, Barack. Just kidding.That being said, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, pal!Light up a cig! They shorten your life! HAHAHA! Just kidding, just kidding, Barack.Solid as Barack! Oh what fun we have. We have fun, Barack.

BARACK: I’m kind of busy, Joe. What can I do for you?

JOE: Get me a ham and swiss on rye and a Sprite if you got one. HAHAHAHAHA!

BARACK: Joe.

JOE: In all seriousness, Mr. President. I do have one item that I believe is of the utmost National Concern.Are you in front of your computer?

BARACK:No.

JOE:What are you doing over there, scribbling on pads of paper? Jiminy Cricket, Barack. Like a little kid at a restaurant with the crayons and, and, and—

BARACK:Joe.

JOE:Get a computer in that office.You’re the President, for Pete’s sakes.OK, write this down. YouTube dot com.

BARACK: Joe.

JOE: YOUTUBE DOT COM

BARACK: Joe, I hate it when you spell out URLs to me over the phone—

JOE:Slash,

BARACK: Sigh.

JOE: watch question mark v equal sign six capital K-r-capital Y-two-capital Q-R-G-capital Z-capital C-four. And that’s it. Cat Bloopers 2. Check it out later. Hilarious.Watch it with Michelle and the kids. It’s not like that other one I sent you.

BARACK:Thanks, Joe.

JOE:Cat Bloopers 2.Remember we watched the first one and I spilled my coffee all over you because I was laughing so hard? HAHAHA.I kept spilling. Oh, I love it.

BARACK: Thanks for the link, Joe.

JOE:You got a quick second for your vice president?

BARACK:No, Joe.I’m very busy.I’ll watch your link later.

JOE: I love it. We got a thing here.I’ll be right over.I just solved the economy.

BARACK:No, Joe.

Joe slams open the door to the Oval Office.In his hands are a tray of wind up toys: Dancing Chicks, Chattering Teeth, Zooming Mice.His white shirt is covered with coffee stains from laughing too hard.

JOE: I just solved the economy, Barack.We’ll sell a million of these things.We’re getting out of this one cheap, my man! HAHAHAHAHA!