What happens to a man when he looses all lust? Historically men are the most sexual of the two. Gay men are known for their lust and ability to “allow” extra-martial affairs, open relationships, one nite out with a fling. Women, on the other hand, aren’t as pragmatic…most women. There are some who allow, and I use that word loosely, their husbands to engage in sexual intercourse with another woman, while she’s in the room and watching. Very rarely does the woman want to experience the “open” wife swap lifestyle. It’s generally the man who cautiously approaches the subject of this happy, go lucky life. He’s the one who finds the places, sets it up and coasts her ever so gentle into watching another woman give him a blow job, or him in foreplay. This is the behavior we, society, has become accustomed to. We readily accept this. It is not, however, what society wants from a woman!

Most women are afraid to tell their husbands they’d like to enjoy the swapping lifestyle. They are fearful of being judged, being rejected and scorned by their husbands. Let’s face it, if more women felt free to exhibit their inner sexuality, the rate of divorce would drop and prostitutes would be in less demand. Being sexual, being a woman is a dirty word. Men want their wives to give them blow jobs, have annal sex and in general make them feel manly. Sex makes men feel accomplished, feel like manly men. They have high sex drives and enjoy feeling their cocks getting hard. A horny man will masturbate, before he goes out for the evening, simply to take the edge off. A woman or wife on the other hand, wouldn’t think of masturbating before she left the house in order to enjoy the upcoming nite’s events a little more and definitely a little longer. Masturbation in general, for women is infrequent. It’s sex with emotional attachment or nothing at all.

Whereas, if women masturbated more, they are less likely to want emotional attached sex. Women who masturbate freely, at will, with creativity are more prone to have sex, for the sake of having sexual intercourse, as a natural part of being a woman. There are some they masturbate freely with and for their husbands. For the most part, married women who masturbate do so when they are alone and he has no idea that his wife enjoys pleasing herself, regularly. These women are not what society would call good wives, she’s not saving it for him. Which brings me to the man who has lost his lust.

There are husbands who have not had sex with their wives in years! These men may have physical ailments that don’t allow them to enjoy what men like to do. Often wives of these men are their caregivers and life has just bogged them down with doctor’s visits, medications and the inability to connect on a sexual level. Age, for men, can also be a contributing factor. He’s lost his zest! She’s never had that much interest in being sexual, performed it as a duty and now that he’s comfortable to snore the night away in his leather loungers, she happy to have the bed to herself for most of the night. But. What happens to the woman who was afraid to tell him she wanted them to add zing to their sex life, adding a nite of swinging, or a visit to a sex club? She had the missionary sex for 20 years, or more, he’s lost his manly man and has put sex on the back burner. Which as it turns out was a couple of years ago when he had missionary sex with his wife. She’s still wanting sex! She’s got a secret stash in her panty drawer of dildos that vibrate and maybe even a butt plug, nibble clamps, essential oils…How does she tell her lackluster husband she’s horny for some wild sex? She fantasizes about being fuck by a man while she sucks her husband’s cock? The kids are gone, empty nesters and all he does is watch Netflix! She’s surfed the sites and she knows there’s a vast world of sexual fun and no way to get to it, unless she goes it alone.

Gentlemen, are you taking care of business? If you’ve lost your lust for sex are you depriving your wife of a life she deserves? There are just as many women on the Ashley Madison site as there are men. And if you’re not able to get is up, cunnilingus is the way to go! Get creative! Put the Netflix on pause, make your own movie, with that horny wife in the next room.

I began this blog a few years ago because I wanted to bring openness to carnal knowledge. I got away from it, not sure how or why, and found myself entangled in the adult world of online dating and affairs of married men and women. I’ll certain continue to bring those things to light, to talk about married men who are prone to “serial affairs” versus those who seek the comfort of a woman’s body. Forget the reasons. Men are prone to have sex and to have it often. Which is why gay men are more likely to have “open relationships”. And I kinda have to agree. Are we as human beings with all this brain power meant to be with one person? I have nothing against marriage. I think it’s great for those who crave it, want it, need it. But why is it so imperative that one man dedicate his sexual needs and desires to one woman? And why is a woman considered a whore, a slut, a low-life bitch if she has a desire to be sexual with more than one man? To engage with someone other than her matrimonial spouse? It’s even sadder that society frowns upon the husband & wife that engages in swapping! For pete’s sake, they’re consenting adults, betrothed in wed “lock” if they want to spice up their sex life with swapping, why the hell not? What is wrong with that? Yet, if he tips out by himself he’s label a cheater! If she’s licked to carnal bliss by another woman or fucked by another man, she’s labeled!

Some men actually derive sensual pleasure watching their wives being pounded by another man. They also like to watch another woman lick her clitoris, pinch her nipples, kiss her with lots of tongue. These are normal everyday people with mortgages, careers, children and some with grandchildren. It is a turn on for both to watch another man insert his cock into the wife’s pussy, lick her pussy close to orgasm and the husband takes over. Or another man to finger fuck her while she sucks his cock. And in some instances, the wife taking both men, one in the pussy the other in the mouth and some others (women) like to be fucked in the ass while she’s sucking a hard cock.

I have found them to be very stable individuals. Mature individuals who know what they desire and enjoy being sexual. I for one would rather have sex with a man while his wife watches than have a clandestine affair with a married man who is stealing time for sex. Some may say that’s thrilling, but I say having a wife watch me make her husband’s cock hard with my blow job skills makes me horny and wet. Granted there are some women who’d rather watch and not engage with another woman-the shy type. Once I get in to stroking his hard cock with my mouth, as he moans with pleasure, she’s likely to finger herself because she’s wet from watching me pump the clear pre cum juice from the tip of his throbbing cock. Some wives have dildos, some will want to sit on his face and watch as I bring him to full orgasm. In those cases when he cums, she will cum his face and watch him lick me to full orgasm. And if she’s not shy, it’s a full on threesome, she’s licking me while I suck her husband’s cock or I’m licking her while she sucks…He’s fucking me while she sit’s on my face. Or on occasion, I’m being fucked in the ass while she fingers my pussy and I’m sucking on her tits. Who says being a third wheel is a bad thing??

All normal stuff, that humans enjoy doing for carnal pleasure.

I’m meeting a new couple, I plan to blog about our journey. I’ll get back to the Ashley Madison sagas when the new couple has filled their carnal cup.

Comments are most welcomed. Questions are always welcomed! You may comment or ask a question here OR you may email me addieg.blog@gmail.com

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anaïs Nin

CHAPTER TWO – Lucy

It is an authors prerogative to make literary changes as they create words of interest on a blank sheet of paper. Lucy was originally to be chapter 3, but her story was so compelling, I couldn’t wait to share it. She sent me several emails chronicling her journey through the sites and the hungry men on Ashley Madison. I also felt a kindred with Lucy, a fellow lover of tennis.

A successful real estate broker. Educated. Philanthropic. Enjoying the fruits of her success with an upscale lifestyle, her marriage had taken a serious turn to oblivion when her husband was diagnosed with MS. First came separate bedrooms. Then came long intervals of sex to no sex for several years.

She was on AM long before the publicity hit the media. It was during the scandalous blitz that she met Joe, the social studies teacher, from NY state, a Brazilian , in her southern town. He was quite insistent, wanting her cell number to text. He wasn’t interested in a cool period of getting to know each other via email. She held him off while she got to know a couple other guys who’d shown interest. Joe was much younger, but he didn’t know that. Brenda lied about her age, by 10 years. He thought she was 4 years older.

When the other 2 older guys became boring, she finally agreed to meet him at a Starbucks. He was handsome, he was a complete gentleman and she could see the stars in his eyes for her. They chatted for a couple of hours, she finally gave him her cell, left him there and headed home.

She heard from him every morning; a hello, or good morning accompanied with kisses emoji. Afternoons sent text of missing her smile, her eyes, accompanied with kisses emojis. Early evenings were the more of the same and nights after 9:30 were longer text with confessions of wanting, needing and more kisses emojis. This went on for over a week. Lucy was departing with a group of friends to the US Open, staying for the semis and championship matches. The text continued and doubled in its frequency. It was cute, she thought, but were becoming annoying. She would check them now and then, but he began calling when she didn’t promptly respond to his text. She muted his number, responding when it was convenient by text only.

When she returned after Labor Day, he insisted he wanted to pick her up from the airport and drive her home, by pretending to be a her Lyft driver. She refuted his offers and let his repeated calls go to voice mail. A few day went by and among the many text was an offer to take her dinner that weekend, his treat. She agreed to meet him at a place that was far from her home, after an event she was attending.

It had been 4 years since she’d had sexual contact with a man. As her event ended that warm breezy late Saturday afternoon, she sat in her car deciding if she’d drive home or meet this youngster for dinner. He texted. He wanted to change the restaurant which just happened to be closer to where she was. She agreed and headed to the place. He was there when she arrived, jumped into her car as she pulled up and wanted her to park away from the entrance. She parked half way from the door, he baulked but that didn’t stop him from leaning our the console of her car to kiss her. It was awkward and awful. Hard and full of teeth pressing against her mouth. There was nothing sensual about it.

After dinner, he wanted her to go in his car with him, she compromised and followed him to an old army fort, historical park with ammunition bunkers, open fields, benches and forest areas. They walked the paths, found a bench, sat and kissed. The hard kissing was his thing, surmised. While he was kissing deep and hard he slid his hand up her dress and played with her now very wet pussy. She could feel the heat in her belly, she wanted to cum, his fingers were moving around her clit causing her squirm. He pushed two fingers into her very wet pussy. She uncontrollably moaned as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. She’d forgotten about the hard kissing, she didn’t really care at this point, her pussy was wet, her nipples were hard as rocks and her clit was throbbing wanting to orgasm. Just as she was about to cum, he pulled out and stuck his wet fingers into her mouth. She was so turned on at this point, she sucked his fingers as he thrust them in and out of her mouth. He took her hand and laid it on his hard cock, bulging through his trousers.

They got up and began walking toward a bunker. These bunker had recessed openings that lead to the doors that were bricked shut. As soon as they were out of sight in the opening, he rammed his fingers in her pussy, bent over and grabbed her nipple with his teeth. She unbuttoned the top of her dress freed her hard nipple from her bra cup, as he bit and sucked her breast, making her wetter. She was at a point of no return. She wanted a cock in her pussy. She unzipped his trousers, cupped his hard cock and began stoking it like it was in her pussy. The clear cum juice was dripping from his cock…she opened the foiled pack, slid it his cock and licked his now sieved cock head. She turned her back to him, pulled her dress over her ass, opening her legs, she took him into her dripping wet pussy. It felt so good, having him pump her, bounce her, go deep into her. She felt a tinge of pain, but it made her want to cum, she wanted to hold off, make it last longer, but he was about to cum so they orgasm together. She felt liberated! She felt like a woman again. She felt like her old self in an instance.

She put herself back together as best she could. He went in for another hard kiss. She moved away to fix her bra and button her dress. She had finally had a cock and she was satisfied. She made an excuse, it was later than she thought and she needed to head home to feed the dog. She thanked him for dinner. Kissed him on the cheek and began walking back into breeze away from the cover of the bunker’s entrance. As they approached her car a family pulled into the parking lot. Thankful for their arrival, she popped into her car, thanked him again for dinner and lovely evening. Before she could leave the park her phone chimed an incoming text. A line of kisses emojis and words saying he’d text her later tonight.

Once home she took a long hot shower, remembering how it felt to have a cock in pussy. It still throbbed, her clit throbbed and her nipples were a happy sore. Climbing into bed, she blocked his number, went to the AM site blocked his profile, SPAMMED his email address and slept like a baby. She deleted his name and number several months later and now she masturbates remembering that evening of hot sex with a stranger she’d meet on AM. She was happy with her bite of the apple…

Karen

The first thing she noticed, when he walked through the door of the quaint cafe, was his ears. They sat far from his head, Dumbo sized. And that military style haircut didn’t make them any less notable. His face was clean shaven, unlike the photo he’d used on his profile. At second glance, she was beginning to think it was an older photo. Not a recent one like she was using no the site….

Being in her early fifties and feeling like the world was at it’s end for her, t she would have to settle for getting older and not having the sex appeal she once felt just a couple of years ago. Her husband of twenty years had had an affair with his paralegal for almost a year. It was horrifying enough to find out that your husband hadn’t lost interest in sex, he’d just lost interest in her. The ultimate horror was finding out about it at the firms holiday gala, a formal, fancy to do at one of the city’s top rated hotels. Cocktails,four course dinner with pristine white table cloths & napkins, fancy center pieces, champagne toast and announcements of new associates and partners. And to round out the evening, an inebriated secretary spilling the news about her husband and the paralegal’s tet-ta-tet, being a wealth of information, providing dates of trips, over nights in the city…

As the polar vortex griped the nation, he was walking around with workout, sweat proof attire, sporting a huge bulge at the apex of his thighs. He’s an active duty military, married, who likes to workout a couple hours a day. When he’s not in his military uniform, he’s in spandex workout garb.a “Dumbo with a big cock” She thought, as he walked up to her table and introduced himself. They’d dispensed of the fake names sometime ago when the communication had reach personal email status. The topics went from general to; how much he liked to eat pussy, how he liked to make it wet and finger fuck it before he fucked it with his cock, how he liked to tongue kiss while fucking her hard letting her taste herself. And she shyly admitted to liking being fucked hard. He didn’t seem to care that her contribution to this hot sexual exchange was minimal, mostly replies to his rants about “good in bed” he was. That he’d had sex in a parking lot and finger fucked a chick at a Stephen King flick.

On that cold day, they left the cafe and she followed him to a no name motel. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to do this, but felt she should at least have the experience. Once in the room, the tv on for white noise he told her, he went for her breast. squeezing them together, pinching her nipples repeatedly. On the bed he removed her boots and she unzipped her slacks removing them along with her panties exposing herself to him. To her surprise, he pulled down his tight spandex pants, letting his hard cock fall and balls fall out, grabbing her head telling her to suck him. As she tried to suck the head he pushed her head deeper causing her to gag. This seemed to delight him as he moaned, yes go deeper. With each thrust aided by his hand at the back of her head, he moaned louder. Just as she could taste his precum juice, he pulled out, pushed her back onto the bed and was on top of her and in with one failed swoop. Now telling her to rock with me. He ejaculated pressing all his weight on her. When he recovered he used his fingers to play with her pussy bringing her to orgasm.

She said she had no expectations of romance, but I somehow felt the encounter was a let down because he’d talked a big game about how he liked to eat pussy, make you cum big, make you cum more than once. Which he had not. Seemingly, there was no hard fuck, just a few pumps and a spewing of cum. About the only thing he did do, was finger fuck her to cum, so at least she got an orgasm out of the encounter. Surely, had she been prepared to suck his huge cock, she may have used her tongue to stimulate his cock head, played with his balls with her hands and maybe licked his balls little to tingle in senses and sucking just the head with a few deep strokes making him cum.

She sent an email asking if he’d like to meet again, this time for dinner before heading off to a room. No response. She waited a week and sent another email, but it was returned as “undeliverable”. Apparently he’d deleted that address. He was one and done. That was her one and only experience on the site. She has since deleted her profile and deleted the semi nudes from her photo cache.

Having followed my blog for sometime, she wanted to know how I managed to have mind blowing sex with men and women. You have to be completely open to enjoying the sex. The act of it. Making it your own. You can’t hold back because then it will have the feeling of being forced. She knew by going to that motel room there would be intercouse, cock sucking (men love to have their cock’s sucked-period). There’s nothing wrong in telling him to make you wet before you suck him off…no one person rules when it comes to foreplay, cunnilingus, fellatio and intercourse.

Next up; Chapter Two, Brenda and the NASA scientist/administrator, who’s online name resembled the popular three part book with “shades” of color. Probably the only man I’ve heard of that has read all three books!!

Weeks of reading countless emails…heartbreaking, hilarious, warm stories of those who have lived through the affair-the affair found on Ashely Madison.

Over the next several weeks I will revel the stories of 8 women and their journey through the looking glass of an extra martial affair. Eight guys all married as they sought sex with a stranger. Eight chapters to capture your imagination, your lust, your disgust and maybe a tear or two of empathy.

These stories will be explicit, candid and brutally honest. The names will be fake, the locations not included.

Join me as I travel through the lives of Karen, Brenda, Lucy, Greta, Maggie, Carol, Teressa and Ella.

Throughout the years, I’ve had the occasion to talk to my friends. Or rather, they’ve talked to me…shared secrets. My main characteristic; I don’t judge. It’s not that I don’t care, because I do-judgment about ones actions or thoughts I don’t feel it’s my place to say what is wrong or what isn’t. So, my friends, male and female will talk to me about their life changing actions…decisions…results.

Affair…What the fuck? First of all, who gave it that mantra? It lacks a certain je ne sais quoi…dalliance gives it more of what it is. Affairs are planned. Affairs involve invites…caterers…months of due diligence for success. Dalliances are casual, not planned; they happen on a spur of the moment…most often, you never saw it coming. You look up it’s there. A sudden wash of emotion that careens over you…feeling giddy, happy, and nervous all at the same time. There is no longevity…no future…no promise of forever. And it usually ends as quickly as it began. Sex is the good, the bad and ugly.

The good; you feel alive. You’re full of anticipation, which is the corner stone for having good sex. The bad; it’s never your partner, your significant other, which is also the corner stone for the great sex. The ugly; is how it ends and the sex is still good or maybe not and that’s why one of you has decided to move on.

I ask you. Does that sound anything like an affair?

No, because it’s a casual sexual encounter. Americans make more of this than they should. Sometimes a dalliance can be good for a relationship. The first rule is, consent. The second rule is, consent. The third rule is, consent…got that?

Stale relationships often end, when all it may have needed was a short, casual jump start. When a car battery won’t start, what do you do? You jump start it in hopes that it will get you to the mechanic. Let’s say for discussion sake, that the mechanic is life…dalliance. Sometimes you need to walk across the grassy knoll to see if indeed the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes it’s not and you learn to appreciate what you have.

Emotions are the one thing we cannot control. We have no way to say; I want to love this person…that person. The underlying of emotion is lust. Therein lies the problem. You lust for someone you shouldn’t because you’re lust committed to another.

So, this is where my friends confide in me. They know I will listen and not advise them. I listen and without being the devil’s advocate. I listen and allow them to voice those inner feelings that they can’t express to their significant other. Most always in the beginning, that person will see the object of their desire as perfection. Lust has a way of blinding the mind’s eye to what is real. It’s not until after the lust has died or dalliance is over that they can admit that the object of their affection wasn’t that great, had a flaw or was an asshole-great lay-asshole just the same.

It’s not for me to say. So I listen. I give them my complete attention and most importantly, I ask questions. I am pro active, because when it’s done, I’m the one who they’ll call upon for consolation and commiseration. Unless, of course, the whole thing is blown to bits by discovery-that in itself is another chapter for another time. But, at the end of any dalliance, commiserating is a must-it helps ease the conscious.

I’ve learned this by listening; be honest with yourself when you’re dalliance-don’t think it’s going to last because nine times out of ten it’s not, be smart-not get caught-there’s no need to break anyone’s heart for a short term thing and remember if you have to tell someone-think about the rest of your life. That person will know your dirty little secret for the rest of your life, weather you remain friends or not. And for heaven’s sake, above all, never ever no matter what; say the “L” word. If you’re not going to share your bank account number, your ATM pin then why on earth would you say the “L” word?

Enjoy the sensations, the secret meets, the hideaway meals, the bottles of wine, the laughs, the looks, the complements and the flirting…Dalliance.

Yup. This blog is exactly what you think it is. Vivere Marie and Nova Moriarty are here to share the process of trying to figure out this thing called dating and romance. Seriously, the hell is that?! Nova Moriarty is an author of high fantasy erotica, and this blog is the epicenter of her book news and thoughts on writing.