SA women crave more sex

The Devil wears nada. And she’s in your bed, anticipating a truly avant-garde performance from you and your (at least) 17 centimetres.

The Sexpo 2010 survey says she not only wants it more often, she wants to spend more time doing it. She also wants to maximise the amount of pleasure she’s getting.

One in three women want sex to last at least 20 minutes and, warns the survey, “that doesn’t include foreplay!”

It’s as official as it can be. There’s a seductress in your bed and she expects spirited, creative service delivery.

No more comatose, missionary position performances, guys, she wants vim and vigour.

That submissive, barefoot-in-the-kitchen creature who inhabited the country’s patriarchal, totalitarian past is now taking on what the survey calls “the role of the hunter”.

“I think that’s fantastic,” says survey director Silas Howarth.

The statistics show that a whopping 48% of women want sex at least three times a week, while only 42% of men want it that often.

Fifteen percent of women want it a few times a day and 78% masturbate when “they can’t get their hands on the real thing”.

Not only are women having more sex than before, the survey shows that more are starting to explore different aspects of their “sexual personality”.

Five out of 10 women use sex toys compared with three out of 10 men. Almost 30% of women have tried bondage and other “naughty” games, 14% have indulged in threesomes and 49% are willing to try a same-sex experience.

The ideal penis length, as agreed upon by the wanton gals, is 17cm. Women also want good hygiene.

What has caused this female sexual revolution?

The media, says professor Elna McIntosh. Over the past few years, a deluge of articles in magazines and sex talks on TV shows have dispensed info about sex to women and empowered them.

That’s why, says McIntosh, you will now hear from her when your technique stinks: “Lovey, my clitoris is on the left.” She’ll complain: “I have not had an orgasm!”

The media, says McIntosh, have given women specific and credible personal information.

This, of course, means that all you lazy, listless missionary position addicts have a problem.

The demanding woman in the bed expects expert action.

Tell her that you have a headache and she will echo the advice you slapped her with in that long-forgotten era when she was the one plagued by “headaches”.

She’ll say: “Take a pill.”

She will, of course, not be referring to Panado but to libido-enhancing products that earn their global manufacturers millions of rands.

The current top-selling product on American TV, says Sexpo survey director Howarth, is a libido product.

The manufacturers of libido products have booked massive floor space at Gallagher Convention Centre to sell the guys enough punch in the pecker for the devil in the bedroom.

» Sexpo opens its gates from September 30 to October 3. Tickets are R130 per person.