Saying Goodbye to former Citigroup head Vikram Pandit

"I guess it's just the ingratitude that bothers me. They've forgotten about the good that he did them. Sure he sold them Old Lane, but he and Bob Rubin did get them that bailout deal. That was incredible. Citi sold the government $27 billion in stock and in exchange the government agreed to guarantee about $250 billion in toxic mortgages. An 11% haircut, in the end, when most of us were taking 50. And they all kept their jobs... The guy must be a hypnotist."

"A good salesman but he's not the smartest politician. You have to admit. You remember in 2009, when the New York Post broke the story that they were about to buy a brand-new jet just a couple of months after the bailout? A $50 million plane?"

"But he cancelled it."

"After the reporters got hold of it."

"I say if it hadn't been a French plane, it wouldn't have been a problem. It would have been in some Congressman's district and he'd have some cover. It was the French angle that did 'em in."

"But why now?"

"I think the shareholders were annoyed by his pay request, the $15 million they turned down this spring. And a stock 89% down, well, you get tired of that after awhile."

"Plus, I think he's liked but he's not well-liked, as the guy says in Death of a Salesman. He doesn't golf. And he's short."

"He shorted Citi?"

"That would have been a good idea, but no, Anshu, I mean, he's short. Physically short. Short doesn't help. They've done studies. CEOs tend to be tall and have more hair than average people."

"Yeah, he was never really one of us."

"I know what you mean."

"He's not 6' 2"."

"I'm not 6'2". Jack Welch wasn't 6' 2"."

"Yeah, but you know what I mean, Indra — no thanks, I've had enough carrot sticks — I mean, he just doesn't look the part."

"So you think the firing is a racial thing?"

"No, but let's face it, he just wasn't CEO material. You gotta look like more like...

"Like Mitt."

"That's right. A captain of the football team type. Am I right, fellas?"

"What are you talking about? There are hardly any women on these boards."

"Hey, do I look like an anthropologist? I just know there's a type and most of us here are the type. And, Vik, he's not the type. That's all I'm saying. He's more the CFO type."

"Yeah, classic CFO — not as tall, doesn't have the right hair."

"That's right. The papers said Vik was a 'technocrat'. Technocrat is newspaperese for dork. If he'd taken CFO instead, he'd probably still have a job."

"You still look upset, Bob."

"He didn't have a parachute."

"No severance agreement? But that's against the first rule of being a CEO: take care of No. 1. That's like our hypocritic oath."

"I feel sorry for him. He has two kids. He's in his 50s."

"He must be down to his last $200 mill. Pretty rough."

"Mark, do you have something to say?"

"It does make you think, doesn't it? Vik's going, I mean. Companies seem like they're getting stronger but CEOs just don't last as long as they used to. I mean, they say that someone brought in from the outside who's operationally involved — like Vik — has a life expectancy of three years and change.

"Ha! You think there's a cause and effect there?"

"Let's hope not."

"If there is, we should all buy Duke Energy. They had a guy who served one day last summer. I kid you not. An M&A between Progress Energy and Duke Energy, the Progress CEO, this guy named Bill Johnson was supposed to take over."

"I read about that... July 2 he walks in the door. July 3 he walks out. And they reappoint the previous duke of Duke."

"Didn't they have to pay him severance?"

"$44 million plus $1.5 million for not saying anything bad about the company. Swear to God. It's in the 8-K."

Hero for Hire

"You guys cut Mark off. What were you going to share, Mark?"

"My coach says people want a hero. That's part of why all that James Bondy stuff works for you, Sir Richard. And that's why I — may I speak frankly? — you older guys do the hair dye and the Botox."

"You think maybe we should all wear hoodies too?"

"Can you get those in pinstripes?"

"But your coach is right. That's part of why we make the big bucks too. They love it. They want us to be special. That was part of Vik's problem, I think, he was so ordinary. Sort of a Jimmy Carter syndrome."

"Maybe I'll put in a request for a new plane after all."

"Just don't call Dassault. Talk to Gulfstream."

"As long as you're making money, they like the hero thing. If you're going down, that's another story."

"But they still want you to lead. If it's heading for the toilet, they want you to go first."