Reserved Queen Of Subtlety Nicki Minaj dumped her “Anaconda” video upon the masses overnight — you know, the one for the song about a giant d*** paired with lyrical imagery about her seductive ass? Ring a bell? — and it’s basically what you’d expect.

The demure rapstress first hangs with her tribe of girls in the jungle, twerking the day away and doing some lesbian-lite grinding. Next we move to a sexy aerobics class where — you guessed it — there’s more twerking. A pink-wigged Nicki then stands in a kitchen, all Julia Child-like (if Julia had been a porned-up stripper in a Swedish maid’s outfit) and shoves a peeled banana in her mouth while also spraying whipped cream on her boobs.

Finally we see the big money shot: Nicki giving Drake a lapdance. This is probably the part where everyone is supposed to be tent-poling in their shorts and rubbing their nipples with pencil erasers. Except this whole thing is pretty limp, and we’ve seen it all before. The video will at least get lots of YouTube views, which should ensure “Anaconda” won’t tank as hard as “Pills N Potions” did. So goal achieved. Yay?

Watch “Snake Up Butt” above.

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