The folks at Dorkly pride themselves on the ability to solve gaming's great unsolved mysteries. For example, if Ash chooses Charmander and Gary chooses Squirtle, what happens to Bulbasaur?

Oh. Oh. That happens to Bulbasaur. I always suspected, but I guess I didn't really want to know. At least it's not animal cruelty; Bulbasaur is technically a plant. This is no worse than eating a salad.

A salad with eyes and a mouth.

And feelings.

For more sick and twisted video game comedy, follow the link to Dorkly.com.