(Clip of the "Three Stooges" as the thems song "Three Blind Mice" plays. Moe jabs Shemp in the eye.)

(Shot of Randy, Doug, and Tommy sitting on the sofa, imitating the Three Stooges. Randy reaches for some potato chips (?) that Doug is holding in a bowl on his lap.)

(Clip of the TV and Three Stooges.)

(Shot of Randy, Doug, and Tommy. Randy holds one hand next to Doug, then playfully slaps him with his other hand. They eat more snacks and look toward the TV as Paul and Kevin walk behind them. The camera pans across as Kevin gestures. Paul holds a large rolled up paper.)

KEVIN: These are the best minds in junior high school?

PAUL: It was short notice. Besides...(gestures)...these guys are absolutely loyal.

Made you wonder if Millard Fillmore started out this way.

(Wayne descends the stairs and stops behind Kevin and Paul, and separates them slightly. He nods to the off-screen guys on the sofa.)

WAYNE: Well, well, well...who do we have here? "Losers anonymous"?

(Shot of the row of guys and the TV. Paul walks to the TV and turns it off.)

(Shot of Randy, Doug and Tommy looking at Paul off-screen.)

DOUG: Hey, that was my favorite part.

(Shot of the row of guys, and Paul who moves the piano bench out.)

PAUL: Nevermind. Let's call this meeting to order.

(He sits on the bench.)

PAUL: We're here to elect Kevin Arnold to be student council president. Any suggestions?

(Close shot of Randy putting a handful of food in his mouth and looking at Paul off-screen, then Tommy off-screen.)

And...

(Close shot of Tommy looking at Paul off-screen as he frowns and chews.)

It was time for the brain-trust to spring...

(Close shot of Doug looking forward absent-mindedly and chewing.)

Into action.

WAYNE (V/O): Wait a minute - I got it.

(Doug turns toward Wayne off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne. Kevin looks at Wayne who pauses and gestures dramatically.)

WAYNE: How about..."Vote...(gestures)...for a scrote". (Laughs.)

KEVIN: Wayne - get out.

(Wayne exits.)

Nothing like your basic grass-roots support.

(Kevin looks after Wayne off-screen.)

DOUG (V/O): Hey, Kev?

(Close shot of Doug looking at Kevin off-screen.)

DOUG: Do you have any more potato chips upstairs?

(Close shot of Tommy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

TOMMY: And a couple more sodas, too.

(Shot of Kevin frowning slightly.)

DOUG (V/O): And could you grab some Ring Dings while you're up?

(Kevin rolls his eyes and steps forward.)

KEVIN: OK, OK...

(Shot of Paul as Kevin approaches him and gestures.)

KEVIN: I've heard enough. This meeting's officially over.

(Shot of Randy, Doug and Tommy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

RANDY: Hey, it was just an idea...

TOMMY: Yeah, look, if you don't want our help...

(The guys start to rise.)

DOUG: I heard the had fried chicken at Becky's meeting...

And it might have all ended right there.

(Shot down the row of guys as Paul reaches for his rolled paper in the background.)

Except...

PAUL: Wait.

(He stands up.)

PAUL: Guys. Let's take a look at this.

(Paul unrolls the paper and puts it on the coffee table.)

That's when it happened.

(The guys form a circle around the paper. Some horn "heraldry" music plays.)

(Shot straight up of the guys looking at the camera.)

PAUL: It's simple, direct, and to the point, but I think it might work...

(Everyone smiles.)

It was beautiful.

(Shot of the poster which reads "Kevin Arnold - The Right Man For The Job".)

A four-color, Roman-faced testament to hope...and service...and nobility. Plus, it was the first time I had ever seen my name on anything bigger than a report card.

DOUG: Wow.

(The other guys back away, leaving Kevin looking at the poster and smiling.)

And in that moment...I did what every politician since time began has done...I believed my own press.

KEVIN: Cool...(Nods.)

Cut to
Ext Day - The Quad

(Close shot of the poster affixed to the front of a table that Randy and Tommy carry a few feet and set down. "Yankee Doodle" plays.)

(Kevin and Paul try to interest passing students.)

KEVIN: How ya doin'?

PAUL: Have a campaign button.

KEVIN: Kevin Arnold - hope you'll vote...

So began my campaign for student council president.

(Doug steps forward.)

DOUG: Anybody want a button?

Fact is, it was fun getting out and pressing the flesh.

(Shot of Kevin and Paul looking at each other.)

Not that there was a lot of flesh interested in being pressed.

(Paul approaches one boy in particular.)

PAUL: Excuse me. Would you like to meet Kevin Arnold, candidate for president?

(Shot from Becky's perspective of a boy laughing and pointing at her. The camera pans quickly to the next table of kids who laugh and point at the camera.)

(Shot of Becky looking around, confused.)

(Wide shot of Becky in the center of the cafeteria as kids continue to laugh.)

(Close shot of Becky sighing and glancing around.)

Cut to
Classroom

(Shot of Mr. Altman near the door as the bell rings.)

MR. ALTMAN: Alright, take your seats, please.

(Shot of Kevin as he sits down.)

Maybe I felt a little guilty about what had happened. But not much.

MR. ALTMAN (V/O): Today...

(Shot of Mr. Altman as he slowly walks toward the blackboard, holding a book.)

MR. ALTMAN: We continue our survey of the Hundred Years War.

(Shot of Kevin, and Becky one row over and one seat back looking toward Mr. Altman off-screen.)

Besides, maybe now we could get down to a real campaign.

(Kevin turns and looks at Becky.)

Based on real issues.

(Kevin turns forward again.)

(Shot of Mr. Altman looking down at the open book.)

Real ideas.

(Mr. Altman reaches up and quickly pulls down a map. On it is a black-and-white photo of Wayne, with the caption "I am Kevin Arnold's brother". "Respect" starts and plays thoughout.)

(Closer shot of the photo.)

(Shot of Kevin and others looking at the photo off-screen. Kids start to laugh. Kevin looks over his shoulder.)

(Close shot of Becky looking at Kevin smugly.)

(Shot of Kevin and Becky as Kevin turns toward the photo off-screen.)

(Close shot of the photo.)

Cut to
Int. Day - Pizza Barn

(Close shot of Kevin's hand picking up a piece of pizza. A large plastic spider dangles from a string. Kevin frowns and pulls the string, which is attached to a "Becky button" hidden under the pizza topping.)

And so began the great grudge match of nineteen-seventy.

(Close shot behind Becky as she moves down the cafeteria line.)

Over the next few days, no trick...

(Becky slows up and looks over her shoulder.)

Was too cheap.

(The camera pans across another girl to the menu board which reads "TODAY'S SPECIAL - SLATER ON A SHINGLE".)

(Close shot of Becky looking at the sign off-screen and clenching her jaw.)

No insult too outrageous.

(Shot of a poster on the wall whihch reads "SLATER'S A TRAITOR", and has a drawing of a stick-figure girl being hung by a rope.)

Pretty soon, though, things stated to get...

(Shot of another poster on the custodian's door. It reads "ELECT THE PIG!! ARNOLD!" and has a drawing of a pigs head ("Oink!") on it.)

Personal.

(Shot of a poster attached across three lockers which reads "BECKY'S THE BEST", with "BEST" crossed out and "THE PEST!" written under it.)

On the other hand, in politics, who's to say what's right and what's wrong?

(Kevin smiles and turns from the sink again. "Yankee Doodle" plays as Kevin walks to the trashcan, reaches in, and removes the speech.)

There was no turning back.

Fade to
Auditorium

(Shot of a large sign hanging above the stage. It reads "R.F.K. JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL - 1970 - STUDENT COUNCIL", with "ELECTIONS" diagonally on both sides. There is feedback from the PA as the camera pans down slightly. A large US flag has "1970" in large silver letters on it. The camera pans down to Mrs. Ritvo at the podium. Seated about 10 feet on one side of her are Becky and another girl, and on the other side, Kevin and Paul wearing suit and tie.)

(Shot past Paul of Kevin as they look at each other as polite applause starts. Paul rises.)

Mr. Holier-than-thou.

(Wide shot of the stage as Paul approaches the podium. Mrs. Ritvo has taken another chair.)

Who cared what he thought? What was he gonna do about it?

(Close shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder toward Mrs. Ritvo.)

Except, of course...

(Kevin looks toward Paul off-screen.)

Bust me in public.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Paul looking at him, then looking forward.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

(Paul clears his throat.)

PAUL (V/O): Students, faculty...

(Shot of Paul at the podium.)

PAUL: Let me tell ya about Kevin Arnold.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

Here it came.

(Shot of Paul at the podium.)

PAUL: He may not be the most popular kid in school...

(Close shot of Kevin looking down.)

PAUL (V/O): Not the smartest...or the most athletic...

(Shot of Paul at the podium.)

PAUL: But he's honest.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

PAUL (V/O): And true.

(Shot of Paul at the podium.)

PAUL: He's every man.

(Close shot of Kevin looking down.)

(Close shot of Paul.)

PAUL: The kid without a name who sits behind you in class. The guy down the lunch line who hates green beans, too.

The funny thing is...

(The camera pans over to Kevin as Paul looks at him.)

Even though the was standing in front of hundreds of kids...

(Kevin looks toward Paul.)

I knew he was talking to me.

(Close shot of Paul.)

PAUL: Kevin Arnold, is someone you can count on to do the right thing. Kevin Arnold...someone who I believe in.

(Shot from the side of Paul as he turns toward Kevin off-screen. Polite applause starts.)

(Shot of Kevin looking toward the audience off-screen.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the audience as Doug and a few others stand up and applaud. Some Snuffy music plays throughout.)

(Wide shot of the podium as Kevin approaches Paul at the podium.)

(Close shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.)

PAUL: Good luck.

(Shot past Paul of Kevin as Paul walks off, and Kevin moves to the podium.)

(Shot past Kevin of the audience.)

(Shot of Kevin at the podium.)

As I stood at that podium...a lot of things raced through my mind. Things like...

(Close shot of Randy and Doug.)

What it takes to win.

(Doug nudges Randy, and they both smile. Doug shows the box of stinkbombs to Kevin, and smiles.)

(Shot of Kevin at the podium. He looks toward Becky off-screen.)

And what it feels like to lose.

(Close shot of Becky looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking down.)

But as I looked at that speech...

(Shot of the speech.)

I realized what I had become.

(Close shot of Kevin looking down.)

Someone I hardly even knew.

(Shot of the audience.)

(Close shot of Kevin hesitating.)

And I knew what I had to do.

(He clears his throat and fumbles with the microphone. Music ends.)

KEVIN: Students...faculty...

(Kevin looks toward Paul.)

(Shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Shot of Becky and her friend looking at each other and smiling slightly.)

(Wide shot of the stage.)

(Close shot of Kevin at the podium.)
KEVIN: I hereby resign from the race.

(Shot of the audience stirring and ooh-ahhing.)

Guess it kinda took everybody by surprise.

(Close shot of Paul frowning.)

Paul...

(Close shot of Becky looking slightly confused.)

Becky...and, unfortunately...

(Shot of Randy jostling Doug's arm, and Doug drops the box of stinkbombs.)

Doug Porter.

(Close shot of the box hitting the floor and one vial flying out. Some smoke emerges, accompanied by dramatic music.)

(Shot of Randy and Doug frowning at each other.)

(Close shot of the smoking box of stinkbombs.)

(Shot of the audience, as the camera zooms in quickly on Tommy as he stands up.)

TOMMY: Stinkbomb!

(Wide shot of the audience as they stand up and some people scream. They move toward the aisles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking surprised.)

Which only proved what I'd known all along.

(Shot of Becky and her friend standing up and looking worried.)

(Shot of Paul looking worried and scrambling from his seat.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen.)

Simply stated...

(Close shot of Mrs. Ritvo looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin at the podium.)

Politics...

(Shot of the audience clearing the seats.)

Stinks.

Fade to
(Clip of Richard Nixon standing outdoors in front of a microphone, addressing an unseen audience.)

NIXON: Like all campaigns it's hard-fought, uh, and I know how hard it is for the candidate to lose...(nods)...and it's very hard for his family. Uh, I think they will come out, however, stronger men as a result of the loss, if they just don't let the loss get them down.

Cut to
Int. School Hallway

(Shot of Kevin coming out of a door into the empty unlit hallway and approaching the camera as some Snuffy guitar plays.)

I never regretted running for president of the student council...

(A janitor is mopping the hall in the background as the camera pans with Kevin.)

Or the three weeks of detention that followed. In fact...

(Kevin pauses in front of a bulletin board.)

(Close shot of the sign on the bulleting board which lists the election results.)