As a sibling of two brothers with Down Syndrome, a mother to a special needs child and a woman who has had two abortion due to viability issues of fetuses and issues with my personal health, I think we are looking at the wrong issues.

Raising a #specialneeds child to adulthood is extremely difficult especially if you face doing so in abject poverty. Running a business as a single parent with a special needs child is near impossible due to medical costs and procedures. Raising a child with all the support in the world is difficult due to prejudice and misconceptions. It can be done, but it can be soul crushing.

Some parents can rise to the occasion, others can not. In the 9 months I spent in the hospital after my son was born I witnessed an adoptive parent turn the child back over to the state. She could not handle the responsibility or get past her fear of raising an “imperfect” child with a life ending disease. The child went to it’s disabled biological grandparent. I met many more who rose to the occasion and called the hospital their home for years.

Should an abortion be considered in the case of Down Syndrome, no. Down Syndrome has some serious medical issues that can be addressed in the early years and a person with any form of Downs can be successful to their full capacity.

Should it be considered when you know that this is the 10th pregnancy you have had, you miscarried 9 pregnancies because of a genetic disorder that if lucky the pregnancy will abort during the fifth month, and if not will cause unending pain to the child and a slow painful death over 8 minutes to 2 years? Perhaps.

The issue is about choice and the maturity it takes to grow into a parent. There are people who will never grow the maturity even after 15 children. A woman has the right to choose if she is mentally, physically and financially stable enough to raise a child, able bodied/minded or with a disability. Will she have the support from family, friends, colleagues, and the community or will she be forced into isolation? Will she be able to give the child all of the time required to help it thrive or will her need to pay bills take away time from valuable therapies, medical care and mom time?

Would I abort a child because of a test that says they will be special needs? Not likely. Would I abort a child because the pregnancy was causing long term damage to my body? I have. Would I abort a pregnancy because the child had not grown in size in 3 months and the heartbeat sounded wrong to the doctor? Possibly.

It is not a black and white photo to dissect bit by bit. There are so many layers to the argument. Unless you have walked the many sides of the issue what right do we have to say something is ethically right or ethically wrong? God does not judge an ethical choice based on social morals.