Friday, February 26, 2010

Contemplating how I can help the world, one know-it-all post at a time.Photo Credit - Bob Rosenberg

Acknowledging my certainty that everyone would be so much better off if they would simply do as I say, I am doling out advice today over at Mouthy Housewives. These wise and deeply funny advice-giving women were kind enough to ask me over for the day and I was delighted to say yes.

My qualifications to answer the world’s big questions?Mouthy - Check.Housewife - Also check.So there you go.

I give a lot of advice everyday: unsolicited, often ignored, and always to the same three year-old, Bob Rosenberg.

“Take your hand out of your underpants, please.”

“Do you have to tinkle? No? Then let go of it, please.”

“Take your waffle out of your underpants.”

“Tuck your package back into your p.j.’s”

“No, it will not fly away if you don’t hold it.”

“I just know, that’s how I know.”

“Please take R2-D2 out of your underpants.”

Obviously, I have a lot of experience to share. To get a little more smacksy in your Friday, please go here.

Subscribe to the Mouthy Housewives. It's like having a life coach, if your life coach had a wicked sense of humor, soft golden highlights and cute shoes.

You are brilliant!Sentences I've used in the past few days."Get the Weebles out of your pants.""Get the jewelry out of your pants.""It's not funny to stick a sock in your underpants and do a dance...... stop laughing Daddy."

No relief from that putting things down the pants as they get older either. The comments that sound so cute when you say them to 3 Yr old Bob get tragically unfunny when said to a 13 year old. Or so I hear. . .

PS. Nice 'do. Somebody spent insane amounts of time with the flat iron.

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