Ask the Expert on the Law- Rocky Hornung

The following humorous commentary was written by Dr. Tom Deans (the author of Every Family’s Business and Willing Wisdom). It does a great job of addressing the question of whether or not to get a will. It is titled: “Top 10 Reasons you should never write a Will!”

You have spent a lifetime working, saving and generally deferring consumption to fund your retirement. Now that your money has outlasted you, it will be awesome to see how the government divides your assets. Governments always make amazing decisions about other people’s money.

The idea that a Will simplifies matters for your family after you die is so overrated. Why deny your family that special moment when they gather at your funeral and one relative whispers, “I wonder how the jewelry will be divided” and another relative answers, “What jewelry?”

All lawyers are loaded – they make a fortune writing Wills. The rumor that they make more money representing families who battle in court when there’s no Will is simply hearsay.

When you write a Will and then share it with your intended beneficiaries, expectations may be set high. It’s much better to keep everyone in the dark, especially the one child who’s providing the bulk of your late-in-life care. Strong, dynastic families are built on secrets and pitting children against each other after you have died intestate. Fighting toughens children up and prepares them for the real world.

If you write a Will and share your dreams and aspirations with your intended beneficiaries, they will likely never work another day in their lives. People usually don’t work because they want to. Even billionaires who continue to work and start new businesses are usually faking it.

Some say a Will is important when you have young children because the issue of guardianship is addressed – you know, naming the person who will actually be entrusted with raising and caring for your children when you can’t. This is a tough decision – maybe the toughest decision of all, which is why you’ll want to avoid it at all costs. Let Lady Luck – and the courts – work their magic. Your kids will understand.

When you write a Will you appoint an executor who is responsible for carrying out your last wishes. But this denies your family the opportunity to debate the merits of burial versus cremation. This can be a lively debate, especially when everyone is grieving. Great families thrive on chaos, anger and regret; clearly communicated Wills and last wishes undermine this principle.

Wills often include Advanced Health-Care Directives and clearly outline the kinds of medical interventions you’d like when you can’t communicate. But here again a Will denies your family the opportunity to play one of the most satisfying guessing games ever invented. It’s called Resuscitate – Do Not Resuscitate. This game is best played at the hospital in front of the doctors, who will be fascinated to see who wins.

If you die (I say “if” because you may be the first to live forever) the grieving process is enriched when family hunts through your personal files and possessions in an attempt to figure out what you owned. This is like a scavenger hunt but with more zeros. After the hunt, some might say they’d like to bring you back from the dead and kill you themselves – but they’re just having fun. This is a game the whole family can play. In truth, it’s a game the whole family will play because everyone wants to make sure others get more.

Studies show that people are superstitious – and they should be. When you write your Will, you’ll almost certainly die shortly thereafter. The same applies to writing books on the subject of Wills. Having written Willing Wisdom I’m practically uninsurable. Just like eating fruit and vegetables and getting regular exercise, writing a Will is extremely bad for your health.