The show starts with words from the Rumble participants. We are LIVE on iPPV!

Brad Stutts and Amber Gertner are on commentary.

CWF Mid-Atlantic Television Championship Match: Trevor Lee (c) (w/ Chet Sterling & CWF Mid-Atlantic Rising Generation League Champion Ben Tyler) vs. Matty De Nero (w/ Donnie Dollars). According to Stutts, Lee is 19 years old. I think that De Nero (a member of Fatback Enterprises) is the babyface. He hits a cannonball dive onto Lee’s cornermen. He then takes his shirt off, which frightens young Trevor Lee. Lee’s cornermen interfere and get T-bone suplexes for their trouble. Chet Sterling puts an object in Lee’s kickpad, allowing him to KO De Nero and get the pin in 4:24. A little short, but I guess they’ve got the long Rumble coming later.

“Hurricane” Shane Helms appears via video. He talks about going all over the world.

ArenaChicks Tournament Match: “The Rate Tank” Kellie Skater vs. Sassy Stephie. Both of these girls are in the same stable, so the manager comes out with both of them. They wrestle a bit, then accuse each other of cheating and start choking each other. The Coach tries to get them to make up, but they go at each other even more viciously. Stephie does the “hump the other girl’s face into the mat” deal, which always amuses me. The Coach has a whistle, but at least he’s not being Bill Alfonso and blowing it constantly. Coach Gemini? Is that the guy’s name? He keeps switching jerseys based on whoever has the advantage at a given moment. Skater counters Stephie’s “Kiss My Sass” and locks in an ankle lock. Stephie gets a rope break. Skater gets a reverse cradle, but get caught holding the tights. Stephie cuts it back, doesn’t get caught holding the tights, and gets the pin in 10:58. Chasity Taylor(?) tries to interview Skater, but gets shoved down for her trouble.

Commercial for the next iPPV, Ultimate Survivor.

CWF Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Title Match: The Killbillies (c) (w/ Bobby Jo Neil) vs. The Dawson Brothers. The Killbillies are undefeated as a team for 10 months. The Dawsons have apparently won several tag titles in North Carolina, but this one. Evan Banks annoys Zane Dawson my touching his impressive beard, and Zane kicks his ass. Killbillies cut Zane off and work him over. The Dawsons try to cut Banks off, but fail. The Killbillies do not fail to cut off Zane again. Zane knocks Aric Andrews out of the ring, where Dave Dawson outs a hurting on him. The Dawsons get the heat on Andrews. Aric Andrews is an awesome face in peril. Evan Banks gets the hot tag and RUNS WILD~! Dave Dawson grabs Bobby Jo Neil at ringside and gets PBR spit in his face. Evans hits Zane with a knee trembler and a spear for the pin in 14:42. My new favorite tag team, the Killbillies, retain! Good formulaic tag match, very fun.

Video explaining the next match. It’s a bounty match. Coach Gemini has put a bounty on Arik Royal, and Jake Manning is thinking about taking it.

“The Man Scout” Jake Manning (w/ Freight Train) vs. Arik Royal. Manning is a boy scout, but he’s a man, so… he’s a man scout. Will the fine, upstanding man scout do the dastardly thing and injure Arik Royal? Manning offers a handshake. Royal declines. They have a clean sporting match. Manning is apparently a father/big brother figure for Freight Train, a large black man who seems sort of… special. They start clubberin’ each other. Royal injures his knee. Coach Gemini comes out to wave the money in Manning’s face. Manning appears to take the deal, as he attacks Royal’s knee. Manning applies a figure-four leglock. Coach Gemini distracts the referee. Manning grabs a chair and threatens to Pillmanize Royal’s leg. Freight Train tells Manning not to do it. Manning throws out the chair and goes for the figure-four. Royal cradles him for 2, then kicks him in the face for the pin in 11:51. My second favorite match of the night so far. Gemini berates Manning. Freight Train comes in and gives him a hilariously gentle forearm, then takes the money. Royal and Freight Train help Manning up.

Chiva Kid and Ray Kandrack promos.

CWF Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship Match: Ray Kandrack (c) vs. Chiva Kid. Chiva Kid is the much smaller man. He’s impressive too. Nice springboard headbutt followed by a standing Shooting Star press. SUICIDE DIVE BY CHIVA KID! Kandrack clotheslines Chiva Kid and the apron and Kid does a 360 bump to the floor. Awesome. Kandrack hip tosses Chiva into the post. Freaking OUCH. Oklahoma Stampede gets 2 for the champion. I’m digging this match. Chiva’s bumping like a madman. Great big man/little man match. Headbutt battle! Chiva Kid makes a comeback and escapes Kandrack’s finish, the Ray Gun (Death Valley Driver). Chiva’s hurting, but he’s still in it. SHOOTING STAR PRESS! KANDRACK KICKED OUT! I thought that was it. Kandrack ducks a kick and hits the Ray Gun for the… 2 or 3? The referee decides that it was 2. The match continues! Kandrack is NOT HAPPY. CHIVA KID HITS A DRAGONRANA FROM THE RAFTERS! And it’s only 2! Crowd is HOT for this. COME ON CHIVA! Chiva knocks Kid down and goes up top again. Chiva CRASHES AND BURNS. Kandrack hits the Gamma Ray for the pin in 13:59. This match RULED!

Now they’re airing a match from Britannia Wrestling Promotions England.

PWI/BWP World Catchweight Championship Match: “The Toxic Terror” Alex Cyanide (c) vs. Shaun “The Hammer” Davis. Clipped. They beat on each other inside a ridiculously tiny ring. Cyanide is a rather large bloke. Cyanide hits a powerbomb and 2 big splashes, but doesn’t cover. Davis hits a chokeslam off the middle rope. It’s a double KO. At least it’s over. What was the point of this? Just to kill ten minutes?

They show some photos of Jake Manning and somebody going to England to interview Dynamite Kid. Depressing.

Comments from Rumble participants. And now it’s Rumble time! Cory Edsel explains how a Rumble works, just in case you’ve never watched Pro Wrestling before.

30-Person CWF Rumble: #1 is Chase Dakota. #2 is Jason (not Mayhem) Miller. Dakota narrowly survives early elimination. Sweet sit out full nelson face buster by Miller. #3 is Chet Sterling. Miller destroys him. Miller hits a belly to belly on Dakota and Sterling at the same time. He throws them both out. Sterling is out, but Dakota saves himself again. #4 is Sassy Stephie, substituting for someone. Stephie and Dakota work together. Being slapped by Stephie only pisses Miller off. #5 is Mark James, who promptly beats the shit out of Chase Dakota. James sets Stephie on the apron. She slaps him. James pie faces her off the apron, then returns to beating up Dakota. Apparently James and Miller are tag team partners. #6 is CWF Mid-Atlantic Television Champion Trevor Lee, who promptly falls victim to a double spinebuster. James and Lee pair off, as do Miller and Dakota. #7 is Jesse Ortega, who helps from the floor to eliminate Miller. Miller attacks him, but is held back by the officials. Mark James tosses Ortega out so Miller can kick his ass. #8 is Solomon Spades, Dakota’s mentor. Lee bails while Spade and Dakota go after James. James gets the better off them and Lee Pearl Harbors him. James deals with him as well. #9 is Donnie Dollars, who cleans house. Joe Black appears and attacks Dollars, who tosses him. Dollars eliminates Dakota and Spades. Lee and Dollars face off. Lee took the TV title from Dollars last month with help from Spades and Dakota. #10 is CWF Mid-Atlantic Rising Generation League Champion and Lee’s partner, Ben Tyler. Dollars kicks both of their asses. #11 is Michael McAllister. His music is “I’m sexy and I know it,” so I hate him. Jason Miller and Jesse Ortega reappear, still fighting. #12 is “Ice Man” Joe Storm, who brings some plunder to the party. Storm plays the role of the poor man’s Sandman/Tommy Dreamer and has fun with weapons. #13 is Mecha Mercenary, who no sells Storm’s Singapore cane shots and throws him out. Mecha eliminates Donnie Dollars with a clothesline. The remaining guys in the ring, all heels, try to avoid him. #14 is Ty Dillinger, who attacks McAllister with a club and tosses him out. Dillingers backs into Mecha and tries to whack him with the club. That fails, but he grabs Mecha’s beard and lands some punches. Mecha tosses him. The Fun Athletic Guys (Lee and Tyler) dance around like goofballs and try to avoid Mecha’s wrath. #15 is Matt Smith, who runs wild on the heels in the ring before he gets powerbombed by Mecha. Trevor Lee barely avoids elimination. Smith hits a Northern Lights suplex and a Shining Wizard on Tyler, then gets killed by Mecha. #16 is Kamakazi Kid, who unexpectedly helps Mecha. Kazi takes his mask off. It’s CECIL SCOTT! The real Kazi appears and kicks his ass before being forced to the back. #17 is Amber O’Neal. Lee tries to kiss her. She throws glitter in his eyes. She gives Ben Tyler a stink face, then rams Lee’s head into Tyler’s balls. She gives them both a bronco buster. Mecha grabs her. #18 is Freight Train, who faces off with Mecha and gives him some love taps. Amber O’Neal gives Cecil Scott an X Factor, then Freight Train whips him and O’Neal low bridges him out of the ring. Dammit. Mecha eliminates Freight Train. #19 is Roy Wilkins. O’Neal grabs Lee’s and Tyler’s balls. Wilkins kicks her in the face and the Fun Athletic Guys eliminate her. Matt Smith eliminates Mecha Mercenary! Smith is fired up! #20 is Marcellus King. The Fun Athletic Guys attack him and get their asses kicked. King eliminates both of them. Smith and King beat up Roy Wilkins. #21 is Walter Eaton, Wilkins’ tag team partner. Smith is eliminated by Eaton and Wilkins. #22 is Devin Dalton. He’s a U.S. Marine, and he kicks ass like one. #23 is Nick Richards, who goofs off with King. #24 is Ric Converse. King waits for him, but Eaton nails him from behind. This only pisses King off, but the distraction allows Converse to eliminate King. Converse gives Dalton the Richter Scale, and Eaton tosses him. #25 is Chris Lea, who the crowd loves, and who immediately goes after Converse. Lea slips on a springboard, but catches Converse and dropkicks him to the apron. Eaton kills Lea with a clotheslines. #26 is Matty De Nero, who has a power gauntlet. What? IT WORKS! He punches the mat and knocks everyone down. Awesome. #27 is “The Rate Tank” Kellie Skater. De Nero gives her the power glove, and she throws it away and attacks him. De Nero decks her and teases eliminating her. Skater throws him out of the ring onto the ramp to eliminate him. #28 is Chiva Kid! He and Skater go at it. He’s still selling his back from earlier. Awesome. He tries to springboard, but Skater kicks him off the apron to the floor. #29 is Kamakazi Kid for real this time. He kills Skater with an uppercut and tosses her out. Cecil Scott and Mecha Mercenary reappear to attack Kazi. “The Boogie Woogie Man” Rob McBride appears to get rid of Mecha and Scott. #30 is Steve Greene, who seems to be both a surprise and a huge deal. Greene cleans house. Eaton and Wilkins eliminate him. Kazi and Lea go at it. Kazi hits a Frankensteiner. Lea hits the Eat Defeat (Soul Food), and Eaton eliminates Kazi. Converse and Lea brawl again. We’re down to five. Lea counters the Richter Scale and eliminates Converse. Apparently this is Lea’s pro debut. Impressive. Final four are Lea, Eaton, Wilkins, and Richards. Lea and Wilkins struggle to eliminate each other. Wilkins and Eaton eliminate him with a dropkick. Eaton and Wilkins are left with Richards. Stutts keeps calling them the Goon Squad. Is that their actual name? They put a beating on Richards. Goons set up a Doomsday Device. Richards fights out and gives Eaton a butterfly suplex off the top, then gives Eaton an avalanche-style backdrop suplex! Double clothesline! Richards is FIRED UP! Double DDT! The Goons cut him off and put a beating on him. Goons go for the Gang Bang. Richards counters out and hits a cutter on Wilkins. Richards manages to toss Eaton. Wilkins throws Richards out through the ropes. Eaton attacks him at ringside and gives him a sit-out Pedigree on the floor. Richards comes back in. Wilkins tries to eliminate him. Richards pulls him to the apron, a dangerous place to fight. Wilkins sends Richards into the post and to the floor to win it in 56:27. Damn. Fun Rumble. They really had me hooked at the end. Goons celebrate.

The show ends with a Killbillies promo, which is perfectly fine with me. Ultimate Survivor, November 17!

Very fun show, very much worth the $10. I’m glad I could support CWF Mid-Atlantic’s first iPPV.