Shayne Looper: An obstructionist on the road to same-sex marriage

Saturday

Nov 20, 2010 at 12:01 AMNov 20, 2010 at 7:13 PM

Why am I opposed to same-sex marriage? Not because I hate gays — not at all; but because I love marriage. Gay civil unions are, I think, in a different category. They are civil, and voters can decide what to do about them. But marriage is different. Marriage has a long history, going back to ancient times, and is shot through with religious significance.

Shayne Looper

I was in a large hospital recently to visit a member of our church family. The employee at the information desk gave me a second floor room number, and told me how to get to the elevators.

The building I was in has four visitors' elevators, two on one side of the hall, and two directly opposite. There was only one other person waiting as I walked up, and he had staked his place in front of a particular elevator.

I smiled and chose a different elevator, and he said, “The odds are one in four.” Guys make a game out of everything, and now we waited to see who was going to win.

I did. But I stood aside, in gentlemanly fashion, to allow him to enter the elevator first. He pushed the button for the eighth floor, then politely asked my floor. I told him two, and he pushed the button.

As we engaged in a little small talk, I leaned back against the wall, not realizing that there was a panel of buttons on my side of the elevator, too. I managed to depress every single button, which meant that my companion would have to stop at every floor, all the way up.

I quickly apologized, and when the elevator stopped, I immediately stepped out. But I couldn’t help hearing the man tell the person boarding how “that guy pushed every button on the panel!” And to make matters worse, I got off one floor too soon.

On that elevator ride I was an unintentional obstructionist. I kept people from getting to where they wanted to go, or at least I slowed their progress, much to their dismay. But on the issue of gay marriage, I am an intentional obstructionist. I join others in the hope of keeping our country from going where some people want to take it or, at the very least, to slow its progress.

Why am I opposed to same-sex marriage? Not because I hate gays — not at all; but because I love marriage. Gay civil unions are, I think, in a different category. They are civil, and voters can decide what to do about them.

But marriage is different. Marriage has a long history, going back to ancient times, and is shot through with religious significance. Many cultures across time and around the globe believe that marriage was “instituted by God,” and not merely constituted by the state.

It is true that homosexuality also goes back to ancient times. Indeed, that fact is pertinent to the point I am making. Although homosexuality has, like marriage, been practiced throughout history, no one has until recent times ever equated a homosexual union with marriage.

The relationships are by nature, as well as outcome, distinct. Both relationships may produce loving feelings. Both may produce discord. Both may produce financial stability. But only the union of husband and wife can produce children.

When a court sanctions same-sex marriage (and so far, only the courts have sanctioned it; voters have rejected gay marriage in all 31 states where it has been on the ballot) it is not merely granting gays and lesbians the right to legally marry; it is redefining marriage itself.

Marriage is a public institution and a public good. If the courts redefine it, they change it not just for gays but for everyone. That’s why Brian Brown, of the National Organization for Marriage, claims that the legalization of same-sex marriage will, in effect, say “that my views on marriage, and the majority of Americans’ views on marriage, are equivalent to discrimination.”

Make that the vast majority of the world’s views, for the vast majority of history. To rush ahead, ignoring the preponderance of American opinion and the uniform testimony of history, is unwise.

So I’ll keep pushing the buttons, trying to slow us down or even reverse our direction.

Shayne Looper is the pastor at the Lockwood Community Church in Michigan. He can be reached at salooper@dmcibb.net.