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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Discussing Game of Thrones: The Mountain and the Viper

* Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen “The Mountain and the Viper.”

I think the title of this week's episode, "The Mountain and the Viper," should have been more aptly titled, "Eleven Minutes of the Mountain and the Viper," because dammit, the fight we've all been waiting for didn't get underway until 49 minutes into the episode. Instead we had to sit through a multitude of scenes in which Littlefinger acted creepy, and I already came to the conclusion that he's creepy ages ago. I'm also getting rather tired of material specifically written for the show that just feels like filler, like this week's incident between Missandei and Grey Worm. OK, I believe I'm done ranting now.

Mayhem in Mole's Town

Poor Gilly is not enjoying her stay in Mole's Town, and it gets even worse when Tormund, Ygritte, and the Wildlings show up and start killing everyone as they continue heading for the Wall. Ygritte is really, really, really pissed off, but she spares Gilly and the baby. At Castle Black, Jon, Sam, Grenn, Pyp, and Dolorous Edd are discussing the attack. Sam thinks that Gilly and her baby are dead and blames himself. The Night's Watch knows that they're next on the Wildlings hit list, and Dolorous Edd muses aloud that he hopes the last man standing burns all of the bodies of his brothers because he certainly doesn't want to turn into a White Walker.

Awkward!

Grey Worm catches sight of Missandei bathing without um, her bathing suit, which prompts her to relate what happened to Daenerys, who doesn't believe it's possible for Grey Worm to um, regard Missandei in a certain way. Grey Worm apologizes, while the rest of their conversation strongly hints that there's a spark between those two.

Being Theon Greyjoy (Again)

Ramsay instructs poor, brainwashed Theon to be Theon again and capture Moat Cailin for House Bolton. Theon brings the Ironborn who are currently occupying Moat Cailin terms of surrender. If they give up without a fight, they'll be allowed to return home. The leader of the Ironborn doesn't want to deal, but he's no longer a factor when one of the other Ironborn buries an axe in his head and agrees to the terms. Ramsay, of course, has other ideas and kills them.

Getting Away with Murder

The heads of the other houses of the Vale grill Littlefinger about Lysa's death. He claims it was a suicide, but these people are not easily fooled, especially since Lysa's devotion to her son was very well known. Sansa gets called as a witness, and she reveals her true identity and says Littlefinger saved her from King's Landing. She recounts how jealous Lysa was of her and how she tried to push Sansa out the Moon Door. And so Littlefinger is off the hook for homicide!

Special Delivery

Ser Barristan is handed a very damning piece of paper against Jorah—it's the latter's pardon from Robert Baratheon, which he received in exchange for spying on Daenerys. Barristan confronts Jorah privately and lets Jorah know he's getting the heave-ho. In the throne room, Jorah begs for Daenerys's forgiveness, but it's a lost cause and we see him riding away on his horse, looking all forlorn.

No Longer a Snow

Ramsay hands over Moat Cailin to his daddy, Roose, and is rewarded with being officially recognized as a Bolton.

You Think You Know Me

In the aftermath of Sansa going to bat for Littlefinger, he pays her a visit in her chamber. God, this guy is so gross just talking.

Arya Literally Cracks Up

The Hound finally reaches the Eyrie with Arya and is all set to ransom her to her aunt. But the guards outside the Bloody Gate have some bad news for him: Lady Arryn is dead. It's so frustrating to see the Stark sisters so close to each other without either knowing it. Meanwhile, Littlefinger is prepared to start grooming Robin Arryn to act like a true Lord of the Vale, apparently with Sansa's help.

The Main Event

Jaime and Tyrion are hanging out together in Tyrion's cell before the trial by combat. They're both worried about the Red Viper's odds against the Mountain. When Ellaria gets a look at Gregor Clegane, she's also concerned. Oberyn, however, is confident that he'll emerge victorious; he doesn't even don a helmet. And he does fight like a badass with his spear against the Mountain's gigantic sword. Just when it appears that Oberyn is going to pull off a win, his anguish over what the Mountain did to his sister and her children distracts him from realizing that the Mountain is not finished yet. I knew that Oberyn was going to die, and I could not watch. I loved his character in the books and in the TV series, and . . . his end was simply awful. So Tyrion is found guilty, and Cersei grins that horribly smug grin. Boo.

I knew it was Oberyn's last episode, too, and I was still very upset about it; in fact, I am still upset about it! As for the Stark sisters, well, I think they're just not meant to have a happy ending, like the rest of that poor family.

Littlefinger just gets grosser and grosser with each episode. And what is up with the way he talks? I can't even describe it because it's so weird ... and creepy. As for Lady Stark, we may or may not have seen the last of her ....