Welome to the Family, Portland Pirates!

While I’m sad that the AHL team won’t be in Rochester, I like that the Sabres won’t have to share a team with the yucky old Panthers, and I LOVE the new Pirate theme. I’m pretty down with pirates, and definitely prefer them to amerks.

The Portland Pirates have two mascots. Meet Crackers and Salty Pete:

Crackers and Salty Pete = obviously badass.

So, by my very scientific and thoughtful calculations (good mascots, absence of Florida Panthers), I give this new marriage between the Sabres and the Pirates my TWC Stamp of Approval. I’ve been hard at work this week, approving and denying approval right and left.

Like this:

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18 Responses to “Welome to the Family, Portland Pirates!”

And, you mean that when I am older, I shouldn’t go into debt by purchasing obscene amounts of Manolo Blahniks and get STD’s by sleeping with countless guys? That was my life plan! Sex and the City gave me false hopes. Boo.

This hurts Kate. Really hurts. How can you like a Pirate more than an American?? Pirates steal Kate. They rape, murder, and pillage. No one likes a pillager, Kate. No one. Except parrots cause they’re spineless followers. Ya wanna know what your Pirates were before they were murderers? They were Skipjacks. Baltimore Skipjacks. Lame. And before that? Erie Blades. No one likes Erie, Kate. How many Calder Cups has your new franchinse won? One. One Kate. The Amerks have won 6. 8 if you count our years as the Pittsburgh Hornets. In fact our last Calder Cup was won against your thieves of the sea. So if you’re ready to drop the Moose and I just like that, we’ll be fine with our Panther. Cause ya know who would win a fight between a Saber tooth and a Panther? The panther, Kate. Saber tooths are extinct. Don’t be silly.

Oh, and totally agree with Carrie! WTF?! Maybe it’s my extreme lack of patience with men that makes two months a long term relationship with me, but NO ONE is worth the crap Big put her through!!

So I just saw Sex and the City tonight, and I couldn’t agree more! It’s not exactly a good message to send to the single females of the world that it’s more than okay to jump right back into the arms of the man who has pretty much put you through hell. However, the shoes were to die for! =P

Shoes. Let’s get some shoes. Yeah, I always thought Big was kind of a dink. She only wanted him because she could never get him. Low self esteem? He was good in bed? No, no. He had the Manolo money!
I feel her pain. Just bought a pair of Banana Republic sling backs I just had to have! But! They were 30% off AND I had a coupon!!
Hello Lover!

Felt like sharing this. If you know anything about our geography up here, it’s even funnier.

THE LAST SASKATCHEWAN PIRATE

I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
And bankers came and took my land and told me “fair is fair”

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “we just let twenty go!”
The government, the promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum.

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I’m gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan!!!

Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at
large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!

A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a’quiver
Cause they know that Captain Tractor is waitin’ in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!

And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline cause he didn’t own a boat
But cutbacks were a’coming and the Mountie lost his job
And now he’s sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!

A swingin’ sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!)
Sailin down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty dog!)
(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty gopher!)
(*spoken* Arr.. ya.. salty bale of hay!)
Well, Pirate life’s appealing but you just don’t find it here,
I hear in North Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
And you’re sure to loose your stetson if you have to pass their
way!

Well, winter is a’comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I’ll be back in springtime but now I have to go
I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico!

Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores…x2

Honestly, no. People here like the Amerks but they love the Sabres like they love the Bills. You see 500 Sabres hats (of the Labatt Blue variety) for every Amerks hat. They haven’t been drawing well because of the quality of the team and the owners. I would say that this might even increase area ticket sales for the Sabres because we’ll no longer have the cheap option of seeing the future Sabres take the ice.

I, for one, am totally going to miss the Sabres/Amerks affiliation. It was an added level of interest to go to an Amerks game and see Clark McArthur or Sekera or Funk as they came up and down from the Sabres. At the last Amerks game of the season alot of people were there just to see Kaleta (who was out with a hurt arm- jerk). I’m really bummed that things couldn’t be worked out with the Amerks, it’s too bad to see such a long relationship broken up.

I think we are definetly going to see some even deeper slumping attendance for the Amerks (assuming they even have a place to play in).

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