I have been away for a while but I have not been idle. I have been busy. I have been learning. What I have been learning has been rather remarkable. It is something that I want to share with you.

I have been learning about Self Compassion. It is not something new to me, but it is something that, although I knew about it, I didn’t fancy pursuing at the time, so I put it away for future reference. Well, that future reference came rather sooner than later. When things go wrong, sometimes that is the very time, in the midst of our hurt and confusion, that other doors swing open, if we will let them.

I was sufficiently hurting to be open to something different. Over the next few posts I will be sharing my journey into the world of self compassion with you. I hope you will join me.

Self Compassion is not a soft option, although it may sound like it. It requires courage, openness and a determination to learn about it and then to apply it. It has the power to transform our lives.

I wrote “HEALING THE HEART” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Are you willing to discover the world of self compassion?

Are you open to new ways of thinking, new ways of being?

What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

HEALING THE HEART

We’re so good at criticising, we’re so used to falling short,

So adept at buying into the harsh lessons we’ve been taught

That we never do consider there might be another way

Which if we would just allow it has the power to change our day.

It’s a thing called self-compassion, well that has the strangest ring,

It implies we’re going soft, when that is really not our thing,

For we’ve shored up our defences, and we’ve learned how to stay strong,

Been the first to criticise ourselves when trouble comes along.

And no, it isn’t very pleasant being trapped inside our head,

Where the voice of accusation complements the voice of dread,

But by now it is a pattern we’re accustomed to, and so

We just let it do its thing and let the pattern grown and grow.

And so, life becomes a battle where we stay on red alert,

As brain goes about its business trying to stop us getting hurt,

And berates us for our carelessness or making a mistake,

Makes us think we should be perfect, well let’s give ourselves a break.

When things happen to stress us out it is very easy to give in, give up, dwell on what’s happening and go round and round in endless spirals trying to force solutions. We may get so caught up in our thinking that we literally can’t fight our way out. The more we think the more confused we get. Feelings surge through us that we can’t control and we feel worn out, weary and helpless.

Stress is part of all of our lives. Some is real and some is imagined. Some we take in our stride and some we feel unable to manage. Stress is everywhere. It is not going away any time soon. ACT gives us some useful tools to deal with our stress. It doesn’t pretend that it doesn’t exist, it doesn’t promise miracle cures, it doesn’t encourage us to deny it, or decry it or fight it or flee from it.

What ACT does encourage us to do is to acknowledge it and accept it. Easier said than done I hear you say. And it is true it is not easy to accept something we don’t like, didn’t ask for and want gone. But sometimes acceptance is all we can do. And with acceptance comes a certain peace. When we stop struggling to change what we cannot change then we are free to concentrate on what we can change. There is power here instead of powerlessness, there is strength instead of weakness, there is hope instead of despair.

Expansion is the key to reducing our stress. When we start to focus on changing what we can and start doing it then our lives get bigger. As our lives begin to expand our stress starts to shrink.

I wrote “EXPANSION” to remind me of that.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

How do you deal with stress?

Do you think expansion might help you?

What can you share that might be of help to others?

Please leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

POEM FOR TODAY

EXPANSION

Living well and stressing less, well wouldn’t that be fine,

To accept our thoughts and feelings, and not let them undermine

An activity we’ve scheduled, an event that we have planned,

For we’re learning living well means that we let our lives expand.

We make space for thoughts and feelings, we allow them to pass through,

If we don’t put up a fight this is what thoughts and feelings do,

And we watch them from a vantage point, creator of it all,

They parade in all their finery, but we have the last call.

For we’ve learned we’re not their captives, we have choices, we can say,

“Whilst I thank you for your company, I’ve other plans today,

And although you weren’t invited, please feel free to join me now,

I can’t spare you much attention, but I’ll squeeze you in somehow.”

And when we are in the driving seat, and looking all around,

Tuning in to all our senses, bent on going where we’re bound,

Then though thoughts and feelings mutter this was not their plan at all,

If you enjoyed, “EXPANSION” please pass it on, and do leave your comments. I would love to hear from you.

And just before you go …..

A final word from ACT …..

I always like to recommend something ACT related in this section and normally I would ensure that whatever I recommend is something I have already sampled. I haven’t had a chance to look at today’s recommendation but the title caught my attention and seemed so relevant to today’s post that I am recommending it anyway.

I’ll be having a look at it myself as I have a feeling it is going to be a good read.

ACTivation Point!

SO ……………………….

How about YOU?

What can YOU do just for today to ACTivate your life?

Just for today I will ………………………

If you have read this far, please do leave your comments. How is ACT helping you?

I am a student of ACT. I am on a journey. I would love you to join me.