Your prayers have been answered! The OHT27 is back for another year. And everybody is wondering which fans of Hollywood will inspire this year's thread. Well, I don't seek out the ladies. The ladies seek out me. What would happen this year? It must have been fate.

In doing some hockey research, I came across a story about Laurier. Everybody knows it used to be Waterloo Lutheran. But before that it was Waterloo College. And its teams were called the "Mules"! [LINK]

So this got me thinking they should go back to that name. I shall henceforth refer to the team as the Laurier Mules. Then I thought about this:

Just click to watch.

Which led to the thought: "What would their logo look like?" Some research came up with this:

Now for what was Hee Haw famous? Ladies in cut off blue jeans! And who perfected this look?

That's right, DAISY DUKE! Now I see that down in the States, Florida State has many groups of Daisy Duke fans out there. Here are some samples:

This should be a truly inspired season. Here are links to the OHT27's of the past:

The odd number of teams in all eastern conferences means that they all have to start early to accommodate bye weeks. So the CW is "exhibition only" at this stage. My guess is Calgary is better than their whipping by Regina. But we'll see.

That 3-way deal was an oddity and hard to gauge. For purposes of the rankings, I had Guelph ahead of Mount Allison and both ahead of St. F.X. Waterloo must be dancing for joy. Is it too early to make a jabroni call on Windsor, Toronto, and York?

After the opening of the CW, and week 2 elsewhere, it seems as though there could be some extreme divisions in this year's rankings. Did you know that Barbi Benton was once a Hee Haw Honey? What a weird show that was. Banjos and cut-offs. When colour TV comes to Saskatchewan they'll be all over that one.

The big news here is that Waterloo has now won twice. Solid wins, too. No early whistle due to a curfew in a tight game. But it's always hard to gauge teams who have only beaten jabronis. It would still be great for Waterloo to upgrade to ham'n'egger this year. Above Waterloo we have a very tight bunch of teams, all capable of almost any re-ordering in upcoming weeks. For now, the McUniversity edges the UfOs and Urban Cowboys in the top bunch. And the next bunch of Cartoon U, Goof, Jackass College, and the Queens are basically pick 'em.

There are only 5 teams here but clearly two distinct levels. (I guess that's a 21st century use of “distinct society” for Quebec.) Anybody picking something other than Laval v Montreal for the Dunsmore?

There were some big games on the weekend. Ones that may have a dramatic effect on rankings for the rest of the season. So this week we have the lovely Jen Heward, and her pick-up truck, to help us out.

So how good is Waterloo? They deserve loads of credit but they may be the weakest 3-0 team in history. So far the teams are falling in line rather easily. It's about time for some shockers here. Shouldn't Windsor be better?

Seems we just got started, and already we are just past the half-way point of the regular season. Deep thought is required from two lovely assistants. Alix Townsend was kicked off a plane for wearing this outfit.

The Manitoba win over Regina makes this more like a typical CW season, where we have a couple of “loops”, i.e. A beat B, B beat C, and C beat A. Omitting the two teams from Saudi Alberta, the standings are:
UBC 2-1
Reg 1-1
Sask 1-1
Man 1-2

That Banjoland Battle coming next week is a very significant game rankings-wise. Who would have thought there could exist a scenario where Manitoba could overtake Regina in the rankings before the bye week?

The Big Lemon was all abuzz over the epic battle between York and Toronto. Both teams are in the OUA's Top Ten! Otherwise all games were won by the higher ranked team. Laurier gets a boost with a win over Waterloo. I have my suspicions about Waterloo. But no matter what happens the rest of the way, they still might be the “team of the year” for their turn-about. By the way, here is the NJR (non-jabroni record) for the teams:
UWO 3-0
McM 3-1, 4-1
Laur 3-0, 3-1
Wat 1-1
Carl 1-3, 1-4
Que 0-4, 1-4
Gue 0-3, 2-3 (two mini-wins)

So the rankings have been adjusted accordingly. Funny that there is not yet a “loop” in the OUA results.

The Blob has been split in two. Right now, the “Lower Blob” teams have but one win against “Upper Blob” teams, and that is Manitoba's win over Regina. It is difficult to rank SMU and Manitoba within that group of OUA teams. Guelph's wins have been mini-exhibition games and jabroni victimizations.

This last week there were some surprise results, creating many more ranking “loops” in every conference. With Thanksgiving next, we must all sit back and appreciate the hard-working farm gals out there. Such as Hillary Fisher.

The OUA had been falling into place every week, until now. The big games were Cartoon U beating UfO, and Guelph bring Waterloo back to Earth. Those 4 now form a mid-block, all of whom have beaten the others. How have they fared against one another?

Carl 1-1
Ott 1-1
Gue 1-1
Wat 1-1

Jeez. Well, Cartoon U and UfO have at least beaten half-decent Queen's so they go up top, and Guelph and Waterloo follow. Of course, those teams can easily switch in the coming weeks since they are basically in a dead heat right now.

Calgary's unbeaten run through the CW gives them #1 overall. All the conferences now have a “loop” effect. So rankings become a challenge. Some winnowing has cut back the upper blob, and overall teams have been moved down a bit. The lower blob teams could easily become ham'n'eggers and vice versa.

The Thanksgiving weekend is the one where the leagues catch up on the byes. The CW is an even-numbered conference so they get the weekend off. I know that readers are most thankful for one thing: THE OHT27! In honour of the holiday, I present TWO of my biggest fans, Tool Time Girls Heidi (Debbe Dunning) and Lisa (Pamela Anderson), presented two at a time for comparitive purposes.

The rankings show each team's conference record followed by their overall record. The games marked # are non-conference games. The games marked * are games against a jabroni. The games marked ø were reversed in league standings.

Pamela got her start as a football fan. Debbe has always been a natural in items exclusively available at the Tool Time Store.

There was surprisingly little movement here. Queen's jumps from Ham'n'Egger to The Blob, and some AUS shuffling, and that's it. I have a hunch that Waterloo has reservations in Ham'n'Eggerville. But when you consider that they were not just Jabronis, but A**clowns, not so long ago, it is still a fantastic turn-around. I am not sold on Carleton but their record is what it is.

Week 8 is done, and only 2 weeks are left in the regular season. Last week the rankings were motivated by the comparison of Tool Time girls Lisa and Heidi. This week, we need the age-old battle of brunette vs. blonde.

The rankings show each team's conference record followed by their overall record. The games marked # are non-conference games. The games marked * are games against a jabroni. The games marked ø were reversed in league standings.

The big fly in the ointment (which makes rankings interesting) is Guelph's win over Laurier. That result makes a six-team “loop”. That loop has two sub-sets. Ottawa beat Guelph, who beat Laurier. No loop there because Laurier has not beaten (nor played) Ottawa. The lower sub-set has just one win over the upper sub-set (Carleton over Ottawa). So Carleton has something to bump them above their loop, and Queen's beat Waterloo in head-to-head, thus completing the ranking. For what its worth, these are the records of the mid-level against one another:

The OUA shuffle moved some teams around. Plus the march to the end of the season confirms where a lot of teams belong. I have consolidated The Blob, but for now at least McMaster and Regina are by themselves as “near contenders”.

Throughout the Season of Shorts you may have noticed that many on the OHT27 committee wear hats, and many don't. So this week, we feature the hat vs. no hat debate to help us through a difficult ranking.

The rankings show each team's conference record followed by their overall record. The games marked # are non-conference games. The games marked * are games against a jabroni. The games marked ø were reversed in league standings.

How about those Evil Monkeys! A big time butt whoopin on the Mangy Mutts pushes them up a spot. And Manitoba again came oh-so-close to another upset. But coulda shoulda woulda doesn't matter. That would have set up a big confrontation next week. Instead they will be playing spoiler.

After a blah kinda season, the OUA has produced many rankings-busters in recent weeks. Good thing the OHT27 has an inspirational committee to sort this out. The Urban Cowboys get #1, and the jabronis are 9-10-11. Since the OUA does not play a full round-robin, we sort the rest by their record against one another:

Laur 4-1
McM 3-1
Ott 3-2
Gue 3-2
Carl 2-4
Que 1-3
Wat 1-4

Easy!

But the BIG NEWS is that Windsor beat York in the Jabroni Bowl. This produced a 3-way tie, and they all beat each other once. Of course, none had a win over anybody else. Windsor and York were both +9 in those games and Toronto -18. So by beating York by just enough points, they get the honour of Jabroni of the Year. York gets the honour of placing in the OUA Top Ten. And Toronto is the Big Lemon.

Neither “near contender” could break through. So The Blob grows. The failures of McMaster and Laurier to stay above the unwashed masses in the OUA brings them back to the pack. They remain above the rest of the OUA, but the gap is really tight. A case could be made to boost Manitoba, Queen's, and Acadia into The Blob.

And hats off to the dearly departed Waterloo. They still get an unofficial “Team of the Year” commendation fot their rise from A**clowns to Ham'n'Eggers.

The regular season has now passed and the playoffs are upon us. Accordingly, this is the final OHT27 of the season. I know, it's an emotional time for everyone. So to make this special, the OHT27 committee is joined by the two Daisy Dukes: Catherine Bach from TV and Jessica Simpson from the movie. After all, this is how the “Daisy Dukes” got their name. IMHO, high heels are an essential component of the look.

The rankings show each team's conference record followed by their overall record. The games marked # are non-conference games. The games marked * are games against a jabroni. The games marked ø were reversed in league standings. The games marked ∞ are playoff games.

The final week was quite eventful. The Bedrock Dinos took it easy and the Monkeys capitalized for a playoff berth. I have seen many competitions where one team beats another to advance, then beats them again in the playoffs. Mr. Slate would not like that. I don't believe that I have ever seen a team fall apart quite like Sask.

Who would've thought Alberta would shoot up the rankings? The end of the CW season was quite strange. Alberta racked up the wins, and Manitoba came very close themselves. Acadia just sat still and watched others tumble. This was a strange ending. Lots of teams in The Blob finished poorly and the question was whether to move them down, or move others up. I chose the move down.