I’ve been giving this
one some thought and, apart from the usual for writers- creating a best-seller –
or for most people – winning the lottery, I can’t come up with a fantasy. Maybe
it’s because I’m happy with life as it is. But here is a made-up one I came up
with a few years back whilst at Writers’ Holiday.

The men sitting at our
table were discussing the class they’d been to on erotic writing. One was
trying to embarrass us. I don’t do embarrassed so when he challenged me, asking
what my erotic fantasy was I told him – and he blushed. Want to hear it? It’s
more silly than erotic and came off the top of my head but I always believe
that if you say something with conviction it sounds true. Here goes –

I said, ‘I’ve always wanted
to go on a child’s slide, a big one, and land in mud at the bottom. With no
knickers on.’

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Many of you will know that I interview a writer each month for Writing Magazine's My Writing Day. I've always fancied doing this myself and letting everyone know about my writing day but I'm probably not allowed to interview myself. Now someone else has asked me to tell them about My Writing Day. You can check it out here.http://www.frostmagazine.com/2014/10/a-day-in-my-writing-life-lynne-hackles/

I've no idea why I'm in so much demand lately but I'm not complaining. And please don't give up after the first couple of sentences. I think if this magazine was paper the LSO would have thrown it across the room when he read the start of this. You need to read on at least until the top of the first photo.

Brian Feinblum, the creator and author of BookMarketingBuzzBlog,
is the chief marketing officer for the nation's largest book promotions firm,
Media Connect (www.Media-Connect.com), formerly Planned Television Arts, and
has been involved in book publicity and marketing since 1989

Brian then says, ‘It always amazes me when some writers say they don’t
know what to blog about. The possibilities are endless. Perhaps what they need
is a template of general topic areas that will generate an idea of what you can
write about. Here are 39 areas one can blog on:’

Number 1 is to share a memory so here goes. One night last week I gave a
talk on How and why you should write your memoirs and I asked my audience what
their first memories were. We had some good ones. Mine is when I was three and
was bridesmaid at my Aunt’s wedding. I remember the scratchy feel of the lace
on my dress and the soft velvety feel of the fake flowers on my Alice band. And
I remember my Aunt turning around to look at me as we walked up the aisle and,
seeing me trailing my posy of flowers down at my side, hissing, ‘Hold those
flowers up.’ So I did, for a few seconds. Just long enough for her to face the front
again.

If you want to start with number 1 then feel free to post a memory here,
or perhaps it’s something you could do on your own blog. There are 38 more
ideas to come at some point. As they say, Watch this space.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Writing is not often considered a 'proper job'. Actually, being self-employed was never considered a proper job, by my mother. She'd keep asking when the LSO was going to get a proper job, and then she started asking if I was going to get one.
If you want to see a Proper Job nip over to the link below and see how beautifully Susan Jones has presented an interview with yours truly. (Complete with photos and confessions.)http://susanjanejones.wordpress.com/2014/10/11/welcome-lynne-hackles/#comments

Monday, October 06, 2014

Did anyone else think it was unfortunate that right next to the lovely
picture of Victoria Hislop on the front cover of Writing Magazine were the
words – MORE BOOM. LESS BUST? I immediately looked down at Ms Hislop’s neat
bosom.

These little bloopers happen when positioning pictures and words and most people won’t notice. (Actually, a
few more will now that I’ve pointed it out.)

I’ve made the same mistake myself. Many years ago, I was putting
together a page of a newspaper. After being present at a council meeting I’d
written an article about the number of homeless people in Worcester. I included
a head and shoulders shot of one of the lady councillors who, I seem to
remember, had rather a lot to say about their plight. All OK so far but I
placed the photo directly beneath the headline which read GRIM PICTURE FOR CITY
HOMELESS. I may as well have added ‘Cut out and keep’ underneath the photo.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

I’d been
writing for so long that I realised people would think I was ancient so, a few
years back, I came up with a cunning plan – I’d knock ten years off my age. Nice
people would say I looked fine and not so nice might think, or even say, ‘She’s
had a hard life if she’s only **.’

I then
realised my daughter would have been born when I was ten so I told her to take
ten years off too.That meant the
grandson, Dan, needed to drop a decade. I broke the news. He was nine at the
time.

He didn’t get a choice. The following year, on his tenth birthday, I
sent his Mom a card saying, ‘Congratulations on the birth of your Baby Boy!’

And there’s more…

We’ve been
laying slabs and stones around a tree stump and underneath it all placed a
membrane which is supposed to stop a lot of weed growth. Yesterday we noticed
that a large chunk of uncovered membrane was missing. It was semi-circular and
looked as if something had chewed through it. Then, last night I spotted the
culprit. A little fox. I shooed him away and then felt guilty. The membrane is
soft and probably makes a cosy blanket wherever he lives. I wondered if he’d
come back for the remainder of the roll. He could bring a mate and they could
take an end each and carry it across the garden to the hole in the fence. I
could even hear him saying (in Fox) to his mate, ‘Left a bit, right a bit,’ as
they manoeuvred it through he gap.

And from Sue Blackburn

Well I was in a rush but even so…

I'd been cleaning (no that's not the giggle although it well could be)
and afterwards was in the bathroom putting on a bit of lippy as you do,
and doing the old hair before going out. Tweaked to relative satisfaction I
duly sprayed it. As I'm reasonably quick on the uptake in some
areas I knew immediately something was not quite right. I'd used
the spray polish. And no it didn't make my hair lovely and shiny.

About Me

Why invisible granddaughter? Because I have not yet met my 18 year old granddaughter. This is not a suitable place to go into details but now she is old enough we are in contact. And this blog is for her so that she can join us in our adventures.
Why Sid? That's the name of the motorhome. It's an Elddis which is Siddle spelled backwards hence Sid for short.
Friends complain that their address books are filled with my addresses. I like moving house. Ten years ago I found the perfect solution for this need to be in new places. The Long Suffering One and I bought a motorhome with some of my winnings from being on Deal Or No Deal. Four years later we sold it but we now have another one and are on the move again. In a house I'll wake each morning and ask the LSO, 'What day is it?' Now I can ask, 'What day is it?' And 'Where are we?'