godsmack

Godsmack has made a long and profitable career out of putting out very bad and very generic rock and roll. If you don’t know their music, you can probably just find it on a compilation with Nickelback and Limp Bizkit or something.

They can’t stop though. They’re forcing us to hear more “Nu-metal”.

They’ve taken their next shot at a big hit by using the Dave Chappelle method. And oh yeah, that’s mine. You can’t steal it. Just kidding, this is the internet. I can’t own anything.

The “Dave Chappelle Method” is basically just saying “bitch” in a public forum a bunch of times so that it will have that tinge of shock value and then people will just respect their courage to take that chance on offending other people. Then some people will get mad and other people will write about it and all of a sudden, BAM! #1 hit for the shittiest thing ever! See, “The Chappelle Show”.

So their new song is called “Cryin Like a Bitch”. There is no one in the world aside from 15 year old boys and dudes with jacked up pick-up trucks who could possibly think this is cool. It’s just not. They’ve made a career out of trying to sound tough, but I don’t really think they’re scaring anyone. The whole genre that they were part of at the end of the 90’s into the 00’s was all about sounding tough, and basically everyone now just thinks it’s super fucking lame.

Because it is.

But here are some lyrics. True genius, let me assure you.

And you wonder why
No one can stand you,
And there’s no denying,
You were crying like a bitch.

You were crying like a bitch.
You were crying like a bitch.
You were crying like a bitch.

Oh, Bitch.

For real. The “Oh, bitch” is them. Not me. That doesn’t sound tough. It doesn’t even sound angry in an actual adult way. It only sounds like a kid is mad at his big brother and was doing an assignment to write a poem for English class.

But no, it was written by a 42 year old man. And that, too, is not tough, in a very extreme way.