Iraq Cool Ranch Dorito Group

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Iraq Cool Ranch Dorito Groupis one of the Think Tanks that keep this countryon a straight and righteous path.

Iraq Cool Ranch Dorito Groupis a Member of theNAMBLA Family of AssociationsSince 1333

The Iraq Cool Ranch Dorito Group was formerly known as the Iraq Study Group. 'Study' implied that something about the Iraq War needed to be examined, so the name has been changed to something all Americans can rally around.

To extract resources and funds from Iraq along with one's own ass without losing dignity, or at least with some good cover. This study will examine the mistakes in Iraq to make the war in Iran or Darfur easier to coordinate.

The Iraq Study Group Report is claimed to list 79 "Recommendations" on what should be done about Iraq.
Firstly, this assumes that something should be done about Iraq, which is complete nonsense since any freedom-loving American knows that our mission in Iraq has been accomplished for some time now.

Secondly, there indeed are 79 italicized-bold-font paragraphs (occasionally longer than just one paragraph in actuality) with "RECOMMENDATION #:" perpended.
Those are not, as one may suppose initially, independent possible courses of action, but actually just different components of one grand proposed course of action.
So in a way, there's only one recommendation that has 79 parts to it.

As if misleading honest Americans is not enough, the very unnecessarily long recommendation does not say "stay the course," and is therefore wrong.

Our embassy of 1,000 has 33 Arabic speakers, just six of whom are at the level of fluency.

pg 95

there is significant underreporting of the violence in Iraq. The standard for recording attacks acts as a filter to keep events out of reports and databases. A murder of an Iraqi is not necessarily counted as an attack. If we cannot determine the source of a sectarian attack, that assault does not make it into the database. A roadside bomb or a rocket or mortar attack that doesn't hurt U.S. personnel doesn't count. For example, on one day in July 2006 there were 93 attacks or significant acts of violence reported. Yet a careful review of the reports for that single day brought to light 1,100 acts of violence.

The President's Dog graded the original report, and the report received a measly "dirty paw" (or as school kids are more familiar with it, a D-).
This is why the report has to be redone (with the new title and shiny pretty cover) - if the group members don't receive an "approving lick" (A-) or higher on the new version, they may have to spend another semester in 12th grade.

HolidayChristmas Use: Shred into little pieces to make paper snowflakes.

In any case, whatever you decide to do with your copy, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, READ IT!!!
Any freedom loving American knows that reading is bad for you. Unless it's the Bible. Which you should have your priest read to you.