University English department bans the word ‘fantastic’

A top Oxford college has illegalised use of the word ‘fantastic’.

‘Whenever a student uses this word to describe anything, it is clear that they have switched their brain off and are simply writing on autopilot to fill a word-count,’ said a spokesman for the College. ‘Literally, the word simply means ‘like a fantasy’ – so in other words, they are implying that the thing does not really exist. If they can’t find a more meaningful word, there is no place for them in our English department.’

Arthur Chamberlain, professor of English at St Michael’s College, Oxford, said: ‘This is awesome, innit. It will bring about a fantastic improvement in students’ use of English.’