Thursday, May 22, 2008

Gender Genie and K-Bloggers

The newest weapon in the Gaywatch Korea Project's arsenal is the gender genie. This software, developed by linguists, can predict with 80% accuracy a person's gender simply by entering a sample of the person's writing (at least 500 words).

It should go without saying that the manhood of any male who scores "female" on this test is suspect. Now, I know, some of you PC brainwashed people out there will question this, but as I have clearly explained before the irrefutable logic behind this in my original Korean gaywatch post:

"... if a guy does anything like a girl , it means heprobably loves dick. That's just simple logic: Guy likes something thatusually only girls like, girls typically have sexual interest in malepenises, thus and ergo, that guy also likes penis (that is, a penisother than his own, I mean, we all really love our own penises, there'snothing gay about that)."

Some guy once made this claim that the above logic was "non-sequitur" or something like that. I'm not sure what that means, but I think any guy who uses French in an argument has just got to be gay.

So armed with this new technology, I decided to find out once and for all the true nature of my fellow bloggers here in Korea.

Prepare to be outted.

As a man of science, I feel in all fairness I must first apply this test on myself. My first choice was, naturally, to enter my "Gaywatch Korea" post. The results:

Female Score: 1308

Male Score: 1664

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

Hmm, a little too close for comfort. I hurriedly entered the text of one my manly fiskings (usacrime) and got the following:

Female Score: 856

Male Score: 1356

Though I'd prefer the score to reflect more accurately my true raging hetero manliness, I guess I can live with that score.

I wondered what results Konglish would get, so I entered the text of my freebase 21 post a while back.

The results:

Female Score: 688

Male Score: 1503

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

Hmmm, Korea protestors with bad English are more male than I am? Despite quotes such as "Oh! see Jeong-son on the left with the pretty red manpurse? I am so envy!" and "Recognize the loveliness of our hats!!"?

Then I looked at the data realized that the word "this" was designated as a male word, and in the post I had all links to pictures titled "View this photo." I went through and deleted all of the links, and here is the new score:

Female Score: 688

Male Score: 931

What a difference a word makes, huh? The male score dropped from 1503 to 931 just by taking out the link references. And yet nonetheless, the gender genie cannot be fooled.

Korbloggers on the hotseat

Next I turned my attention to the other members of the Korean blogging community who are nearly all white males between the ages of 25-40 (which, by the way, is also the general profile of serial killers in the US, but I digress).

Leone (or is it Simon?) from "Mincing with Myojung" was my first choice. Leone is out of the closet and doesn't hold back. If he gets a more manly score than I do, then I'm afraid to think of what that means. I put all of Leone's longer postings that are currently on his homepage (including the post on gay penguins), and here is what he scored:

Female Score: 646

Male Score: 1168

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

What the fuck? Leone is more manly than I? This can't be!

Rather than question the irrefutable validity of my claims about the predictive power of the gender genie and its implications on sexual preference, I'm just going to dismiss this as an aberration and continue on as if it didn't happen at all.

Next on the hot seat is Big Hominid. I first entered one of his more recent religious posts. The score?

Female Score: 1230

Male Score: 1270

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: (barely) male!

Fag.

Well, perhaps I rush to judgment too quickly. I ran an entry of Kevin's that was non-religious and got the following manly score:

Female Score: 791

Male Score: 1046

Interesting. The same author gets radically different scores just based on the topic of his writing. This also confirms a hypothesis first proposed by one Andy Galanis, one of my former rocker dirt-bag friends from high school, who said, and I quote, "Religion is so gay." (I'm quoting from memory, I'm sure the word "dude" was in the original quote there somewhere)

Ok, Kevin, the Gaywatch project will let you off the hook this time, but I suggest you write more posts about lusting after your co-workers just to reassure us all that you are properly manly.

I now turn my attention to Cathartidae, one of them American hating liberals. I entered the texts from most of his recent posts (there wasn't one post that was long enough), and here's his score:

Female Score: 706

Male Score: 490

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

Well, I see Arnold Schwarzenegger's quote about "girly men democrats" now has some empirical support.

But what does this make me? A closet Republican? I am so confusion...

But wait! Flying Yangban, a true Republican, got the following score on this post.

Female Score: 880

Male Score: 402

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

Oh dude, you're even gayer than a liberal! President Bush should officially return your vote. Lady Yangban will be crushed.

I think we have also clearly shown that political ideology has no effect on gender preference. Another false stereotype exposed by the party pooper! This site continues to be a light unto the world, just as I had prophesized long ago.

Hmm, that gap's a little too narrow methinks. I think Nomad's problem is that he's the only man in the family. Being surrounded by women will do that to you. Before you know it, you're helping out in the kitchen and watching Korean soap operas with the ladies. I suggest you spend less time with your family by drinking and fishing more.

Oranckay (hard to find a long post from the "link whore" of the K-blogger community, so I had to enter writings from several current posts on his homepage).

Female Score: 701

Male Score: 1293

Appropriately manly, I must say. Confirms our earlier finding that you don't have to be conservative to be a true male.

My site has moved from blinger to EFL Geek (http://eflgeek.com) just incase anyone cares

Posted by: EFL Geek | May 23, 2005 at 10:17 PM

I did much better when I input text from my personal blog.

Still, it's a good thing I look like a girl.

Posted by: kangmi | May 24, 2005 at 04:50 PM

Blinger/EFL Geek: Updated the link. And now how might we address you? Mr. EFLgeek? Mr. EFLG? The artist formerly known as Blinger?

Kangmi-- It might be interesting to see what "male words" you tend to use. I suggest not using the word "this" anymore (it registers as a "male" word). When tempted to use the word "this," just substitute the phrase, "the object within my immediate proximity" instead, as in, "Would you like to use that pen or the pen which is within my immediate proximity?"

Very lady-like, don't you think?

Posted by: partypooper | May 25, 2005 at 05:20 AM

Yes, and I should avoid "something" in favor of "everything," "out" instead of "in," and "am" instead of "is."

It wouldn't be long until I was completely incomprehensible.

That would up my feminine quotient, wouldn't it?

Posted by: kangmi | May 25, 2005 at 07:34 AM

Scott,

all of the above? Actually one of my readers asked the exact same question in a comment. BTW, did you get my email about the KOrean blog? I haven't heard from you, so I'm guessing it ended up in your spam box. Basically register on my site, send me an email with your ID and then I'll change your permissions so you can post entries.