Here, via the Live Feed, are the first eight and a half minutes of ABC’s remake of the ’80s classic sci-fi thriller “V.” The best part happens at around the 3:55 mark, when Jesus tries to kill a homeless guy in a wheelchair. (I feel ya, Jesus. I feel ya.) The rest of the video’s not gonna make you crap your pants or anything, but I imagine the “spaceship looming over Manhattan” scene will look pretty cool on a giant flatscreen with HD. Hey, does anyone have a giant flatscreen with HD? Well la dee dah, your highness.

Anyway, “V” will air for four weeks during sweeps starting November 3rd, then ABC will shelve it until early next year, a marketing method commonly known as “blue balls.” I guess we have to wait to get our “V” card! Wokka wokka wokka! *falls through trap door*

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This show will probably be a huge hit as it is well known that Americans are much dumber now than they were two decades ago.

/eats rat

10.26.09 at 11:18 am

wehavehair

Needs more porcelain masks

10.26.09 at 11:44 am

SuperFrankieLampard

I’m kind of surprised that almost every critic is saying it’s the best pilot they’ve seen in years or ever, but that’s enough to make me want to check it out.

10.26.09 at 12:59 pm

Leapin_Lizards

What the Bible doesn’t say is when Jesus rose from the dead he played a pick-up football game with the Disciples and totally crack-blocked Judas, paralyzing him. Now he hates everyone in a wheelchair. I think it’s in the Kuran though.

10.26.09 at 1:09 pm

Denny

Why does it end with a porn soundtrack? Did I miss a cumshot somewhere?

10.26.09 at 1:58 pm

Wojciehowicz

Does this also revolve around the retarded ideas of slow subversive takeover of Earth (when they could clearly reduce it to ash at will) and using humans as a food supply (when they are among the least healthy animals on Earth) or stealing all of our water (when most systems have Oort Clouds and Kuiper Belts of icy material light years closer)?

I just want to know if I should watch or do something better like practicing for a fennel shaving license.