Life with Type 1 Diabetes

Type 1 Diabetes: Sometimes You Just Don’t Win

So today has been a bit shit. There’s really no other way to put it. Long story short, 2 failed sets, 3 insulin flow blockeds, 3 set changes, 2 injections, at one stage 21.1u active insulin and 11 hours later I am still only 17.9.

To give you an idea:

20:13 – 21.1

00:20 – 26.6 and then a minute later 26.8…. I don’t think my um believed the test kit!

08:33 – 7.7! Woo!

11:31 – 25.4, not so woo…

12:48 – 23.8

13:58 – 23.4

15:18 – 18.7

16:34 – 17.4

19:02 – 21.7

You get the picture.

It was a little amusing at times though, I was completely hopeless at functioning as a human being. I had to walk 100yds to the restaurant. Not a difficult task, right?

Wrong. I was walking so slowly that my mum turned around and linked arms with me to get me there because I had so little energy!

Then I needed to pee, resulting in my cousin having to lead me there! I would not have been able to find it without her, despite it being signposted. And then I forgot to lock the door properly, like the idiot I am, only putting the catch on, forgetting the proper slidey lock. Then on the way out of the ladies I turned the corner to the door and scared myself in the mirror! But the best moment was, by far, when I tried pouring water into a glass and missed the glass! Yes I did that. How ridiculous.

However, it has been frustrating. We’ve just been throwing insulin around and getting no where. It’s stupid.

During days like this, I get to a point where I’ve resigned myself to being high. I expect the temp basals and the insulin shots to not work and I expect to see a blood sugar of 24 appear on my meter. I just sort of give up on the strange concept of a good number.

Highs are weird for me though. I only had 0.4 ketones so it’s not an absolute emergency, because with lows I’m very aware I need to treat it there and then, otherwise there’s pretty nasty consequences. But highs are just tiring. I’m not going to end up in hospital. So I’ve spent the day in a daze (my best sloth-impression to date, I might add), almost falling asleep everywhere and having as much motivation to do things as a snail. (Assuming that snails aren’t very motivated creatures). It’s been a very long day.

I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m tired. Diabetes has totally and utterly won the fight today and I have no energy left to get back up right now. Its been taking advantage of my getting used to a new sixth form lifestyle over the last week and it’s succeeded.

I am exhausted. Fighting is hard work. It takes strength to beat it into submission, but I do. We all do. However sometimes it diabetes will just turn around and kick you in the butt anyway, just because it can.

I’m just sat here praying tomorrow is a better day because oh my word I can’t survive 2hrs of chemistry in this state!

One of my favourites things I’ve ever heard about T1 is this: “Controlling your diabetes is not a science. It is an art.” And that is so so true, I completely agree with you that I’d prefer it to be a science. But we do try….!