Bitslap with KBC:
Playlist
from October 20, 2009

Back in 1979, I made the decision to accept Dr Demento as my personal savior. Since then, with the help of his apostles Spike, Al, Stan and Black-Eyed Susan Brown, I have made it my mission to spread the Gospel of the Firesign and the Word of the Waller. Please join me and my fellow seekers as we find the Wisdom we crave and the Rapture we deserve. A new sermon every Tuesday (and NO collection plate!).

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Here’s a cartoon you don’t need visuals for, because they’re already embedded in your mind. Directed by Friz Freling and written by Michael Maltese, it includes voices by not only Mel Blanc but Bea Benaderet (as Lady Liberty and the screaming baseball). Bea was the voice of Betty Rubble in the Flintstones and also the Mom in Petticoat Junction. It’s also one of the very few Looney Tunes that ends with Bugs himself closing it out in place of Porky Pig. If you’d like to see the whole cartoon, YouTube will oblige you at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KfztaGR-co

Bill Kirchen & Too Much Fun

THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT

Bill was the original guitarist for Commander Cody’s Lost Planet Airmen. He’s known as the “Titan of the Telecaster” for his signature well-worn1959 Fender Telecaster that he traded to a complete stranger he met on a bus. Mostly hangs out in the Washington DC area and tours with either his own band or joins people like Elvis Costello or Nick Lowe. Watch him in over-the-top action on “Hot Rod Lincoln” at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGpr-Zy_wRs (Looks like Harry Reid, eh?)

unknown

DROPPED THE BALL!

Sonovabitch!

Chuck Brodsky

BONEHEAD MERKLE

Chuck was born in Philadelphia in 1960 and this is from his 2002 album “The Baseball Ballads.” This song tells the tale of a 1908 game between the NY Giants and Chicago Cubs wherein the game was blown by one Fred Merkle whose inattention cost the Giants the game and later, the pennant (the Cubs won it all in 1908, the last time they won anything at all – some say the ghost of Merkle is getting its revenge).

Unknown

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME [in Yiddish]

For the Phillies: A brokh tsu dayn lebn. For the Yankees: Gai feifen afenyam/Gai kakhen afenyam. Look it up.

Music behind DJ:Harry 'The Hipster' Gibson

BARRELHOUSE BOOGIE

Jackie Gleason

CASEY AT THE BAT

Recited by Reginald van Gleason III, this shows up on an album called “Awaaay We Go!.” Gleason released far too many records of syrupy disgusting instrumentals but, sadly, only one of comedy. Considering the quality of his material it’s a crime and a sin that there were not many more. For a decidedly stranger reading of Thayer’s poem, we thank YouTube for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reY68mDYFKk

Honky Tonk Confidential

BASES ON BALLS

The band has been around since 1997 in the Washington DC area and their latest album, Roadkill Stew, features four songs which have lyrics written by CBS News anchor Bob Shieffer. Try their website at http://www.honkytonkconfidential.com/htc.html In looking this up, I notice that they have other baseball songs (like “Nolan Ryan’s fastball” – he’s my hero) and a lot of Xmas numbers. Stay tuned for more…

Seriously though, at one time the Cubs were actually a mediocre team with high hopes of a .500 season. Disaster was averted in 1984 when they almost went to the World Series, but through sheer grit and determination, they blew a 2 game to nothing lead, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, losing to the Padres (who went on to lose to the Detroit Tigers in 5 games – the famous McDonalds v Dominos Pizza series).

Stormy Weather

LAND OF WRIGLEY

Now Wrigley Field, there’s a place that deserves better. Built in 1914 as Weeghman Park it was home to the Chicago Whales (Whales in Chicago?) of the Federal League. From 1920-26 it became known as Cubs Park and in 1926 it was renamed for Cubs team owner and chewing gum Czar, William Wrigley Jr. Now it is owned by the bankrupt Chicago Tribune Co, who hope to sell off the team and it assets to Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. There are several tour videos on YouTube, just look up “Wrigley Field Tour.”

Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig

COMEDY ROUTINE

A truly lame standup routine between two giants, source unknown. This would be a good time to mention that many of today’s gems came from http://www.thedeadballera.com a snazzy website that contains many songs, interviews and the snippets of play-by-play that you’ll be hearing today. Check it out; it’ll keep you out of trouble for hours.

Bob Edwards

LINEUP FOR YESTERDAY

Edwards is the Peabody Award-winning guy from NPR (Morning Edition), Sirius (Bob Edwards Show) and PRI (Bob Edwards Weekend). With NPR, his audience was second only to comedian Rush Limbaugh and his departure from NPR was dripping with controversy. Oddly, his last show featured a segment with Charles Osgood (who was featured on his first show 25 years before) and an item about the last Oldsmobile rolling off the line at GM.

Pepper Martin

WHERE'S PAGE 8

A baseball mystery.

Eddie Lawrence

LOCO BASEBALL

Another episode of audio schizophrenia from Eddie, who obviously does both voices.

Anonymous

BARRY BONDS STEROID SONG

Hey, if I thought Barry would be after me, I’d stay anonymous too. I'd advise you to do the same.

Bob Rivers

TAKE BASEBALL AND SHOVE IT

I’ve felt like this too, but that’s because I’m a Mets fan.

Music behind DJ:Gene Krupa

LEAVE US LEAP

Chuck Brodsky

BALLAD OF EDDIE KLEP

Eddie Klep was a real live ballplayer whose claim to fame is that he was the first white man to play in the Negro Leagues when he pitched seven innings for the Cleveland Buckeyes in Grand Rapids MI, in May 1946, a full ten months before the appearance of Jackie Robinson in Brooklyn. A few years later, he was playing ball at Rockview Prison in PA. Died in 1981 of complications from alcoholism and late word is that his story has been bought by Adam Sandler’s people, so we may not have seen the last of him.

Randy Now

CARL YASTRZEMSKI

Yastrzemski had the odious task of replacing Ted Williams in left field for the Boston Red Sox in 1961. He filled in quite admirably, with a career average of .285, 482 HR, 18 All Star Games, 8 Gold Gloves and an MVP. He was the last player to win the Triple Crown in 1967 (his MVP year). I couldn’t find anything on Randy Now, or even later, so you’re on your own. These two came from the Dead Ball Era page. Ask them.

Randy Now

ODE TO BILLY MARTIN

I'm totally unashamed of the fact that, as much as I’ve always despised the Yankees, I always adored Billy Martin for his classy style and graceful elegance. I really wish he had stuck around long enough to manage the Mets (instead of, say, George Bamberger), we’d all be holding our heads a teeny bit higher.

Jack Flack`

EARL WEAVER

Another one in the Billy Martin mold, Weaver wrote the book, making tantrums an art form and creating artwork out of infield dust. Umpires used to say that the hardest part of their jobs in dealing with The Earl was keeping a straight face.

Anonymous

USELESS SPORTS REPORT

Hank Kimball reporting

Sam Bush Band

WIZARD OF OZ

Not the Scarecrow, but Ozzie Smith, the magical, gravity-defying shortstop from the St Louis Cardinals. He’s a 13-time Gold Glove winner, 15-time All Star and was hustled into the Hall of Fame in 2002. He started his career in San Diego, but wound up traded to the Cardinals for Gary Templeton in a six-player deal that, at the time, was virtually unheard of. Sam Bush, meanwhile, is a veteran bluegrass performer credited with originating “Newgrass” and has won just about every award there is short of Golden Pick (that’s a pun, you see…).

Tim Wilson

BALLAD OF JOHN ROCKER

John Rocker set off a shitstorm with his comments about New Yorkers while he was with the hated Atlanta Braves. In an interview with Sports Illustrated, he said, in part “Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids.” It got worse from there. A few years later, Mets fans were horrified to find he had been invited to a tryout at spring training. Rocker closed his career in 2005 (unsuccessfully) with the Long Island Ducks. Sadly, even though he was an asshole, he was a really good pitcher at his prime.

Window

I'M A FAN

These guys are from Cleveland, and even Mets fans look with pity on people from Cleveland.

Music behind DJ:Tommy Dorsey

WEARY BLUES

Chuck Brodsky

WHITEY AND HARRY

Whitey was Richie Ashburn and Harry was Harry Kalas, both Philadelphia broadcasters. Ashburn first: as a ballplayer, he was enshrined in the Hall of Fame for his play with the Phillies, Cubs and as an Original New York Met. As a broadcaster, it would be hard to find anyone more beloved and respected. After a Mets-Phillies game in 1997 at Shea Stadium, Ashburn suffered a fatal heart attack. The radio booth at Philadelphia’s Citizen’s Bank Park is named in his honor. In 1971, Harry Kalas joined the Phillies broadcasting team after the retirement of Bill Campbell and he and Ashburn worked together until Ashburn’s death (Harry was also the voice of NFL Films). The only other person in Philly as beloved as Ashburn was Harry Kalas. On April 13, 2009, Harry collapsed and died in the broadcast booth of the Washington Nationals’ park just before the opening day game with the Phillies. Today, the Phillies hang up his jacket in the dugout before each game and the TV booth at Citizen’s Bank Park is now named in his honor.