The Iceman To Whoop Millennial Pissants

Val Kilmer will star opposite Tom Cruise in the Top Gun: Maverick, an individual with knowledge of the production told TheWrap.

Kilmer will join Cruise in the long-awaited sequel to Tony Scott’s 1986 action blockbuster, in which Cruise’s aviator Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell is now a mentor to a new generation of U.S. Navy fighter pilots.

A rep for Paramount declined to comment on the casting of Kilmer, who has been spotted around the San Diego hotel the studio has been using since production began last week.

The title is speculative, but probably accurate. The Iceman will probably whoop pissant millennial pilots into shape and show them how it’s done. Unfortunately, we’ll probably have to go through a long streak of people once again inferring that Maverick and Iceman are gay, even though that was never the case.

They did the same thing for Bennett and Matrix, even though the director of Commando made a point to directly deny that such a subtext ever existed, inferred or otherwise.