June 24, 2009

Yet another entry from the Emotionally Scarred

Or the emotionally scared, for that matter.

Mac called to invite me to see a show with him and his girlfriend. As a matter of fact, I should refer to them as Maclola, as Rache and I did last night, since they have been an inseperable entity for the past month, at least as far as I am concerned.

Mind you, I'm happy for him. At the same time, I find absolutely exhausting the repeated failures at seeing him, the last minute cancellations because they're busy snogging, etc.

So I said no. Passive-agressive of me, I know. Mostly, I didn't like the last minute phone call, I didn't like the fact that he (they?) choked on us last night, I didn't like the fact that it felt contrived.

So I said no, and he ended the conversation very quickly. Oh well. As things go, I might as well become fully asocial and decide that I don't need anyone. There's still Willy and Jay, though. I don't know if it's because they are a gay couple, or if it's because I have a personal relationship to both, but I don't mind the couplehood thing with them. Maybe it's also because with them, I feel loved. In the most platonic way possible, but still.

I got a text message for a movie date (too late, i have to think of charging that cel phone more regularly) from an unknown caller. I think it might be Scott, and if it is, I'm not sure what to do. I like him. I'm afraid of liking him. I'm afraid that he may like me. And there's the whole snaffu with Bud and Lia to take into consideration. Hmph.

In short? I fail at being social on every possible level. Go me. I think I'm going to go curl back into my shell, now.