About 45 minutes from now, the Kentucky Derby will get underway, and Barbaro will attempt to defend his crown ... wait, what? Dammit. Oh well.

For our horse racing analysis here on Deadspin, we turn to New York Rangers forward Jaromir Jagr. From Steve Zipay at Newsday.com:

I'll give you my picks for Saturday's Kentucky Derby tomorrow, but decided to ask Jagr at practice if he even knew the name of any horse in the running.

"Barbaro" he said.

When reporters told him that Barbaro was dead, he asked: "Does that mean he can't win?"

"Not unless he's got a great jockey," I said.

Then the Rangers' captain replied: "There's only one horse: It's me."

So that's who I'm going with ... Jaromir Jagr. He might as well win it. Honestly, I think the best thing that could happen here is for another horse to die, hopefully a photogenic once. Pretty soon, people are going to get over Barbaro, and they'll need another cause.

And for more Derby stuff, I encourage you to browse through the links below, including Unsilent Majority's breakdown at Name of the Year.