Why doctors need to, er, improve their writing skills

Recent articles in the UK press have renewed public disapproval of doctors’ slang. This includes examples like “digging for worms” (varicose vein surgery), “departure lounge” (geriatric ward) and “TTFO” (told to f*ck off) coming in for the most criticism – presumably from former and existing patients who understandably don’t’ see the funny side.

We all know that pharmacists or druggists have supernatural powers of clairvoyance when asked to interpret doctors’ writing on prescription forms … so handwriting, as well as patient respect, ain’t the medicos’ strong point.

Worse still, it seems English ain’t their strong point, either – see below.

When I first received these alleged doctors’ notes by email from a friend I couldn’t believe that they could be real. However three weeks on a surgical ward in a British hospital last year changed my mind…they’re plausible, alright…

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

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