May 24, 2007

How long does this last?

i’m up call me if you ever need to any time any day…he is there…simply because you’re talking about it he’s there, simply because i feel your hurt in my heart and the joy he brought you…means he’s there.

Hey man this was deepThough friends and family pass doesnt mean that the people we love ever leave us he is in your step your heart and your dreams. I may be young but i think we all can safly say that they will allways be a part of us and they dont want us to miss them cause they are your life wether you think so or not and i agree with battim youve touched people and it shows you still have him there by your side and in your thoughts (sorry its so long)

I don’t think it ever goes away. My mother was 27 when my father died. She is now almost 70 and not a day goes by that she doesn’t miss him. Difficult question Terry and I think the answer is different for everyone. I do believe my parents will reunite as I believe you and Tim will reunite too. The survival without your “heart” is the toughest part! Loving healing hugs to you.

*HUGS* I reckon today you are feeling it more as you are also bursting with excitement about the other things in your life and you want to be able to share it with them. THEY ARE HERE…THEY ARE SEEING ALL THAT IS GOING ON….THEY ARE HAPPY FOR YOU.Love you….xxx

Hey, Terry. I’ve often pondered the same question. My Dad passed away at the age of 51; I don’t know if I will ever get over it…. I was pregnant with my son at the time, and now when he makes faces that remind me of my father, my heart breaks all over again. I often have the same kinds of dreams that seem so, so real, and it hurts so badly. I will keep you in my prayers. (((Big Hugs)))

When we are grieving for a new loss it brings back the hurt from past losses. So it is like you start the cycle all over again. While it does get easier, there is always a hole in our hearts. I know it is hard. But remember that you are not the only one feeling like this. It is normal.

first things first congrats i have not seen you smoke for a very long time tl roth/ zip the man…. you might off camra but good job and second of all you should never stop missing those you love its the pain that should go away and some times the pain is there to remind us of how much we loved them! so have sweet dreams of the ones you love and ill watch ya tomarrow

Aww, Terry. Tim’s visiting you in the dream state. My Dad visits me there, and I try and just hug him and enjoy the contact. I guess all we can do is feel said when that happens, and embrace all the new people the Universe sends to fill the void. And you have a ton of new people who really care about you.

Hi , Well people Say that time is a great healer , But i don’t know about that ?. Guess you have to think of the good times you spent together and the laughs you had and the fact that you where with them at the end …… in there hour of need . And that you got to say the goodbyes and the love you’s …. As for me being from diffrent country and losing a loved one over seas and not being able to tell them how you feel or what they meant to you is really hard .xx

I think the pain is part of what keeps us from forgetting them….from forgetting the effect they had on our lives…it gets easier but a part of your heart dies when a loved one dies also….hang in there….you have alot of people who love you..

I lost my best friend a year ago from a mysterious illness that the doctors still can’t explain, he was only 34. I miss him every day, it hasn’t gotten any easier, and I don’t expect it to ever go away. I think that’s ok though, I miss him, but I think about him every day, and remembering him makes me smile.

I wish I could say it just gets easier, but I can’t. We will always remember, they will always be a part of us. I just try to cope, with using that pain for something productive. I do certain things to remember them, I talk to my loved one’s and just keep trying. I know each positive thing I do, reflects on their short lives. HUGS Terry. BIG, BIG HUGS!

The physical pain does ease. You have to work at it.When bad thoughts pop into my head (the ones that you can’t control and are too bad to share) I visualize them as…don’t laugh…Blue Meanies. By making them into these pudgy cartoon guys, I can take away their power and banish them. I can love family members I miss without feeling tortured…

I know it hard but It gets better, but you never stop missing them my Friend. I lost my Dad in 1998, and I still miss him. I lost contact with my two step Brothers in 1986, and I still think about them and miss them everyday too. But they are always in our hearts, and we can smile at the good memory’s while they were with us.. Hang in there.

Terry, I hate that you’re going through this right now but at the same time its good that you’re allowing yourself to remember what you had. As you said, keep on keeping on but as humans, we need to stop sometimes and remember the important people in our lives, however painful it is. It never goes away completely. Just know there are so many of us who do care about you. Take care, friend.

Terry, the missing will last forever, but somedays you do stuff then realise later in the day, that the pain as not been there all day. Quiet times, like when you lay in bed and cannot sleep are the worst times. Try and think of the good times, nobody can take those away,

I wish I could give you a hug T. This video made me tear up… I don’t think the pain ever goes away. My grandpa died almost 4 years ago from Alzheimer’s… I think about him every day. You just have to try and remember the good things, and know that you’ll see them again one day.

Love you man.

Just reading through the comments, I can tell there are a lot of people who love and care about you- pain from loss never stops but you just need to fill your life with people who care this much about you and it gets a little easier to deal with everyday. I know the dreams are hard when you wake up, but isn’t it nice to remember that feeling of love and joy again as if it were real? Just know that by living you are doing what they would want you to do.

((Terry)) as Anne Bancroft says 2 Harvey Fierstein in “Torch Song Trilogy” “…But, Arnold, it never goes away. You can work longer hours, adopt a son, fight with me, whatever…it’ll still be there. But that’s all right, it becomes a part of you, like learning to wear a ring or a pair of eyeglasses. You get used to it. And that’s good. It’s good, because it makes sure you don’t forget. You don’t want to forget him, do you?”

(((HUGS))) I was feeling this way yesterday.Wanting my mother on Mother’s Day. I lost my Mom in Oct 2003 and I lost my brother in Jan 2001.I look at his 13 year old daughter and wish he could see how she has blossomed!But I feel they are with me still. Love you! Kathie

You’ll always miss them. There are times in your life when things are going well and you think you’ll be occupied and not have to think about the pain. But for me that’s when it hurts the most, because I want them there to share it with me.(((HUGS)))

I feel your pain, Terry. I have lost too many in my life. I think when you dream of Tim it’s actually his spirit coming to you to visit. I dream of my Dad a lot and he’s always telling me how wonderful it is on the other side and I have nothing to fear. He never believed in an after-life when he was alive. I think they come in dreams because we’re more open to quiet we need for such experiences. Know that Tim and your Dad are very much with you. I hope that helps. All my love, Sandy xo

I spent yesterday thinking about my mom. She died 29 years ago, which I can hardly believe. For years I felt like the world had come to an end, and then the pain gradually lessened to where I could think of her without crying. I don’t know what to say Terry, except that grieving takes time, and the feeling of loss lessens, but will always be there. Maybe it stays with us, so that we can keep that person alive in our hearts.

My experience is that things get easier after a year, and then better again after a 2nd year. It never stops completely though. I lost my first great love many, many years ago. He was hit head on on his motorbike by a drunk driver. So I know the darkness you’re feeling and I send hugs to you.

The unbearable pain has softened to bearable after so many years. Tears still come at times though. But I am so much richer for having had the chance to have him in my life for even a short time. I’m very thankful for that. Loving him so intensely and loosing him so suddenly gave me a depth and humanity that hadn’t existed in me before. I thank his exceptional presence in my life for that.

I don’t think the pain will stop Terry. I am sorry. Talking about them – hearing their name helps. One thing that struck me when at the cemetery (sp) was…I look around, saw all the graves and realized I am not alone in my grief. Hugging helps. You miss the feel of being touched sometimes the most….at least for me. You are dear to me…..xxoxoxoxox

terry…tim is with you…you even get to talk to him…your dad is with you too…they will always be with you my friendkeep remembering them and loving them and talking to them…some people may tell you to move on…but tim was a part of you…he will always be there…as will your dad…love always

I don’t think it ever ends. You just get used to it, because you have to. I’ve lost both my parents, some very close friends, my beloved dog, a couple of cats. Nothing can ever replace them, but if you’re really lucky, someone else comes along who can fill the void. You just have to go on.

What an amazing group of friends you have. I lost my father when I was 16, a month later my grandfather and years later my only sister died of cancer at 43. I wish they could see my children, my success etc. I hardly knew them. It still hurts but I celebrate what was positive in their lives and accept what has to be. I cry with you and then face a new day.

I know how you feel and my heart goes out to you. My dad passed away almost 2 years ago, and I feel like I never got to truly get to know him, so all you can really do is be grateful you had the time you had with the people you’ve lost. Hold onto those memories and never let them go.

Sweetie, you will always miss the ones you love. It just gets a little tiny bit easier. You just have to remember that they would want you to live your life, and be happy. I lost my Dad 3-1/2 yrs ago. I think several times a week about how much we relied on him, his strength and knowledge. I make myself think of the good times, and know I’ll see him again some day. *BIG HUG*

I’m so sorry you have these feelings. My father passed away 24 years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. It gets a little easier with time, but you never stop missing them. Your blessed to have spent as much time with them that you did, and even though it may not feel like it, you are lucky you can still dream of them! Feel better soon T. Love ya.

I don’t know, Terry. I think there will always be those moments where you miss them like you just lost them and then there are always the times in between when life is good. I’ve had those dreams too that are so real and then it’s like they are with you again and then you remember what you missed so much.

I think you never WANT to forget really. You WANT to remember. BUT remember the good things that their presence in your life provided..NOT what you’re missing by them being gone. They both are with you ALWAYS in spirit and always will be. Physical presence is fleeting. Spiritual connections can never be broken. IT IS still early from both losses. Give it it’s time. It DOES get a little easier. Delight that you had them both in your life. Rejoice in what they brought you, not in what you lost.

Further, there will always be moments when it’s harder than at other times. I lost my Mom a week or so before Mother’s Day. She was here from FLA visiting. Had a heart attack and was gone in a week. About 14 years ago now and I STILL miss her. I know she’s here though. And time DID take care of a lot of the hurt but there is that one day every year…Mother’s day!! Tough times. Take heart. It will get easier to deal with. LYZ

I don’t think it EVER stops…He’s visiting you in your dreams, this is what I like to think…I love those dreams, the waking up is whats horrible, for me. My dreams are so real. I can see and touch, as if they were truly there. I feel your pain. I am sorry you’re having a bad day.

I will be thinking of you, Terry. There is no answer to your question, as you’ve pointed out. But I am glad you keep working out and talking about your feelings. As painful as this is, this ‘feeling’ makes it possible for us to keep loving…Thank you.

Hey TThe missing doesn’t ever stop it just becomes more a part of who you are and gets easier to live with…and then one day you realize you don’t want it to stop…because it would mean you’re starting to forget them…and that you’d rather be in pain and remember than loose all those moments with the person. You’ll be together again someday and that makes the missing part easier because it’s only temporary…like this life. I truely believe that. Love you, be well Hugs Dol

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I know that doesn’t help, but I’m praying that someone special comes into your life to fill that void! Yo deserve someone truly amazing. Much love, Marty🙂 Hey I dreamed I was in love with Nextel Cup Driver Tony Stewart last night. Now that’s what I call a nightmare! :)))

You have so many people who love you, even people you’ve never met before. While you can never replace Tim, you can still be happy… it all gets better one step at a time. You’re so lucky for the time you had with him. Just remember the good times, okay? Everything changes, but everything gets better. Take care.

The missing never goes away because you loved them both but it does get easier with time. Hopefully too, you’ll find someone to move on with which helps even more. You’ll never forget but it does help to have someone to talk and have a new focus with. I hope that doesn’t sound callous. It was not meant to. Thoughts are with you.🙂

yuppers, some dreams can be a bitch to wake up from.… what can i say? Just cause they dont talk back like they used to doesnt mean they are are gone, and they cant be all gone as long as we remember them.

stay strong. and Thank You.

The other comments already say exactly what I’d like to say (but in much better words🙂. Yes, the pain is unbearable sometimes and on the other hand the tears are so relieving. We’re all with you, Terry! And in your heart Tim and your Dad are also forever with you!

I doesn’t stop. When I think of my dad I miss him and he died 27 years ago. And my mom and sister haven’t been in my life for 8 years now. But maybe that’s it. You’ll start not to miss him every day, but how can you ever stop actually missing him? If you figure it out let me know.🙂

It hasn’t been 3 years for me, in fact it’s not even been three months, but I miss my son every day and I expect I will forever. It’s my way of still loving him, holding onto him. I am hoping, in time, that missing him will equate to remembering him, instead of wishing he were back with me. That is when missing him will stop breaking my heart, and start to fill it. I hope that happens for you, too.

To feel sad is normal. but keep positive look at all the good things that have happend in your life since,and the things your doing now…with youtube, your band, traveling. its hard to even take it one day at a time, but keep yourself busy and remember your loved.

It would be wrong to stop missing the people you loved after they’ve gone. But remember they haven’t gone, they are just waiting to be reunited with you. I’m not religous but its all we can hope for. They would however want you to continue enjoying your life.

You are right, there is no answer. There is nothing I can say to help you feel better, but you will always remember Tim and your dad, and cherish them in your heart. Hopefully one day the pain will morph into some sort of anticipation of seeing them again? Maybe that way it won’t hurt so bad.

I’m sorry that you are having these feelings Terry, you’re such a loving person… and some questions like the one you are asking in this video is hard to answer really I guess all I can say is love yourself love memories and keep Tim in your heart because that’s the best you can do. I love you.

You were but two spirits wandering, And destiny had brought you together, for this one moment in time. Each person that we meet, Touches our life and changes it; Then takes a part of us with them. It makes us who we are today. It makes us who we must be.

We all have our destined time on earth, The clock of life is wound but once. Please don’t grieve Celebrate the things that you shared.I send much healing to you T L Roth.

Terry, there is an answer, and the answer to the million dollar question is: It never goes away.

We can only (forgive me I hate this word) “COPE”. Seeking closure is useless, there is no such thing. Just have faith that one day you will see him again. That gets you through.

My grandma’s suffer time: 22 years. I talk with her a lot about it. It helps to talk.

when I saw this I thought: How much of a person is really that person, and how much is the creation of someone else? Each of our journeys are taken alone. You may be with someone, but it is a meeting of journeys. you are never totally with someone. You need to love yourself. You just borrow, you never totally own. Peace.