Frodo failed — Santorum has the ring!

Pennsylvania is fantastic! Who knew this state was such a welter of electoral fun-having? We are re-evaluating the Keystone State immediately. And checking for hobbits:

LEVITTOWN – Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” has instead been drawn to Iraq.

It’s becoming kind of a “Lord of the Rings” type election year, isn’t it? Personally, the blog never got into the trilogy, but even so: Respect. The story, from the Uniontown Herald Standard, continues:

“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

“It’s being drawn to Iraq and it’s not being drawn to the U.S.,” he continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don’t want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”

Santorum’s Democratic opponent, Bob Casey, predictably scoffed at the Republican’s take on Middle-earth. But his response was nothing compared to the rage unleashed by fans of the Tolkien books.

Scott Rosenberg, a writer, blogger and co-founder of Salon, got all crazy exasperated with Santorum’s misreading of both the situation in Iraq and the finer points of Lord of the Rings:

First of all, in Tolkien’s saga, the good guys are outgunned and outmanned by the Dark Lord, whereas in our world, the U.S. is a “hyperpower” whose military, in 2001-2, seemed to bestride the world. Second, in Tolkien, the good guys sent Frodo with the Ring into the depths of Mordor as a sort of last-ditch, bet-everything gamble; then they sent an army to the gates of Mordor as a diversion — to keep the Eye occupied and distract it from the hobbits headed for Mount Doom.

Wow. Yeah. As the immortal Baggins said: “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” Or something like that.

It shouldn’t be surprising to see another Republican turning to Fiction to answer to Fiction. Considering how much of the GOP is Fiction, I’d expect them to continue their pursuit of power along the lines of many fictional accounts, 1984 for instance.

Santorum has maintained he “knows” that WMD have been discovered. They were located by the unicorn with the purple twisted horn and the green maiden. In the pursuit to gain power of Mordor, Santorum and Hoekstra have scared the beejeezus out of some simple minded orcs and have them whipped up in a nice froth. But the light shineth upon their dillusion and fears to show us no weapons were found. Rumsfield’s buddy, Saddam (as shown in a warm smile and handshake-Paparazzi!) used up the WMD we gave him to kill people in Iran. But he used it on the Kurds. You know the Kurds, the people Turkey (our allied power in the region) abuses and ignores as bad as Saddam Hussein ever did.

Poor Rick Santorum is a true believer too. He isn’t faking for the camera. This man genuinely believes he is in divine communication with the all-mighty and a good boy scout for America with a Capital A.

(note: It should be noted how the Amish answered a brutal violent attack and the families of the attacker, and then how somoene like Santorum so easily cheers death elsewhere for revenge)