The X Factor: will Amelia Lily be back on song? Photograph: Ken McKay/Rex Features

Good evening, and welcome to the X Factor liveblog. I hope you're ready to have fun, because tonight is Movie Night. You thought you saw the last of it in 2009 when Jedward did Ghostbusters ("John, save me!" "Don't be such a baby!") and Jamie Afro did the love theme from Gummo. But now it's back. And it's going to be bigger than ever. Or the same size. Or slightly smaller. Look, I don't know.

It's just a shame that Kitty Brucknell won't be around to enjoy it. Imagine her doing We Don't Need Another Hero from Mad Max Beyond The Thunderdrome or Holding Out For A Hero from Flashdance. It would have been brilliant. But no, inevitably everyone will do Purple Rain again, except for Janet who'll do her best to make My Heart Will Go On even more soul-destroyingly insipid than ever. Oh well, at least it's a relatively short episode.

You all know what the plan is for the next hour and a bit. Things will happen on television. I'll describe them up here. You describe them in the comments. And then, at some point tomorrow morning, other people will leave comments telling us all that they don't watch X Factor because they don't own a television. Such is the way of the universe. See you at 8:15!

7.55pm: Interesting rumours abound about the voiceover tonight. Apparently, because it's Movie Night, Peter Dickson might be sharing his duties with an actual movie trailer voiceover guy for segments of the show.

I'm aware that I just described the narration of a reality television programme as 'interesting', by the way. I may have been doing this for too long. I can't wait for Christmas, you know.

8.06pm: Incidentally, there has been some discussion around these parts about how many of you lot will stick around when The Killing starts at nine o'clock. It's bound to be a difficult choice. Do you tune in and watch a series of grisly crimes, incomprehensible mumbling and horrible outfits, or are you going to watch The Killing instead?

8.18pm: Here's that trailer guy doing a voice over. It's not very good, because his voice operates at exactly the same frequency as all the zooming and explosions that X Factor loves so much. Unless he isn't actually talking. Unless his voice actually is just one long explosion. Which, admittedly, would be quite cool.

8.19pm: Dermot's dance is back this week. At least I assume it's a dance. It might just be that the floor was rigged to judder and shake to destabilise his centre of gravity. That's what it looked like, anyway.

LOUIS: Looking good today, Louis! The concussed animal look is so hot right now!

TULISA: This week, Tulisa's tattoo reads 'Maybe try and actually do something this week', which seems a bit harsh.

KELLY: Continuing to lead the style stakes by wearing that purse you made from some old sequins at primary school.

GARY: Thankfully, Gary has had a shave this week. I assume this is because he realised that beards are fun, so got rid of it because he didn't want to set a bad example for the contestants.

8.22pm: First up is Craig. Last week Gary Barlow decided to show the world what sort of artist Craig will be. Turns out that he'll be a boring artist who only sings ballads and never moves. Hopefully this week Gary Barlow will show us what sort of artist Craig won't be, so I don't literally die of boredom halfway through his song.

This week, Craig went to that big Children In Need concert that Gary Barlow organised. Although Craig only called it a 'charity' concert. I don't know why he didn't name the charity. Maybe because Simon Cowell's lining up a band called Children In Need for next year's show.

8.24pm: Craig is doing License To Kill, which is from... oh, I forget which film it's from. Dr No?

He's singing it just like he always sings songs - standing completely still, apart from an occasional fist-pump. Also, I'm not sure that this is actually Craig. His eyebrows are too dark, his face is all shiny and he's singing from the middle of his face for once. I think he might be an android interloper.

8.27pm: The song and performance were a bit staid and boring, and the judges seem to agree. Except for Kelly, who likes it despite Craig's obvious lack of personality. And then Gary Barlow comes on and says that Craig wasn't staid or boring. However, since Gary Barlow loves staid and boring things more than anything else on the planet, this could be construed as criticism. Could Craig be in trouble?

8.30pm: The Argos Christmas advert appears to feature a family of giant sentient sperms. Screw John Lewis, I'm in bits here. I won't be able to sleep for a few months because it's scarred onto my brain, but that was probably the point.

8.34pm: Next up: Janet. This could be a make or break night for Janet. She's done badly for two weeks running, and now she has to fight for her life. She's going to have to whine out this dreary harp-based ballad like she's never whined anything out before.

This week, Janet went to a movie premiere. Oh, that's why this is Movie Night. It was the Twilight premiere, too. If this means that anyone is singing a Paramore song tonight, I'm going to deliberately injure myself.

8.36pm: Janet's doing Kiss Me, from all bad girly films ever made. It's a perfect fit for Janet. The song is whiny and annoying and Janet is... oh, you get the idea. There isn't a harp in sight but, despite that, this is the best that Janet has been for ages. I mean, obviously there's a 1970's Indian restaurant that can't work out where its curtains have gone, but this is a solid performance. Good, even. Maybe terrible cutesy 1990s girly nonsense is Janet's forte after all.

8.38pm: Next week, Tulisa says, Janet needs to pull out some big songs. This is a mistake, surely. She'll sound like Uni from Dungeons And Dragons trapped in a wind tunnel if she's given a big song. She needs TINY songs. Tiny and TWEE songs. Silly Tulisa.

8.41pm: Time for another ad break. I suppose X Factor is only 75 minutes long tonight. That means ITV has to work extra hard if it wants to squeeze in the requisite 73 minutes of adverts.

8.45pm: We're back, and it's time for Amelia. She's apparently now a favourite to win X Factor. And this has been reflected in the new Marks & Spencer advert, which has been re-edited to include footage of her singing and pumping her fists like nobody's business. Say what you like about Amelia Lily, but you can't deny that she loves pre-packed sandwiches and old lady clothes.

The good news is that Amelia Lily is blonde again. The bad news is that if her hair keeps changing colour at this rate, she'll be completely bald by the time she's 20.

8.48pm: Amelia, for once, isn't doing a rock song. She's doing Think, because it briefly featured in a horrible rom-com once. And her hair's gone a bit pink again. Allow me to revise that - she'll be bald by 18.

This is a horrible version of Think, by the way. It sounds like 5ive. But 5ive fronted by Christina Aguilera's injured pet dog. It's just a bit too busy for Amelia who, I thought we'd worked out, is at her best when she's allowed to go "HWUUURARGH" up and down the musical scale with no proper direction for three or four minutes.

8.49pm: The judges are all saying things about Amelia's performance, but I haven't really been listening. I've been staring at Kelly Rowland's hair.

8.52pm: Tonight's X Factor competition prize: go and watch an Olly Murs concert, and then go on holiday with with Olly Murs. Which is weird, because they never usually tell you what the booby prize is. I wonder what the first prize is. Perhaps you're given a legally binding restraining order that stops Olly Murs from coming within a mile of your house.

8.53pm: The bad news is that there are more adverts. The good news is that Little Mix are on soon. Oh, wait, sorry. I meant to say that there is no good news.

8.58pm: And now, after Kelly Rowland has read the entire IMDb entry for The Bodyguard aloud, is Misha. She's in trouble this week. She's been in the bottom two twice now, which means that she probably won't win X Factor now. Not that that's a bad thing - look at some of the acts that also didn't win X Factor - JLS, Cher Lloyd, One Direction, G4, The Conway Sisters. Look, I don't know where I'm going with this.

Anyway, this week, Misha's birth mother wanted to get back in contact with her, so she and Kelly bond over it a bit. As emotional as this is, it's undoubtedly the most fortuitously-timed sob story in all of X Factor history.

9.01pm: Oh dear. Misha's doing I Have Nothing, the song that's X Factor code for 'Sorry, I've run out of ideas'. It's as if she's been in the sing-off so often at she doesn't want to take risks any more. Disappointing. That's unless she rocks out a wicked rap about Kevin Costner in the middle eight. Fingers crossed.

I don;t have much hope, to be honest. Misha's even dressed as an angel, for crying out loud. Presumably this is because her 'Definitely Not A Bully' T-shirt is in the laundrette. As for the performance, it's technically decent but duller than a bag of toenail clippings. I miss the old Misha.

Oh, it's finished. No Costner rap. What a terrible letdown.

9.03pm: Gary just said "I can't tell you how sad I was last week to see you twice in the bottom week" which makes absolutely no sense.

And then he basically said exactly what I said in my last update. I think this means that Gary Barlow secretly reads the liveblog under his desk. Coo-ee! Gary! I'm pleased you had a shave, but you're a terrifically boring man! Bye!

9.06pm: And now for Little Mix. Or Plinthey Plinth, as I now call them. Because they stand on plinths a lot, you see. Look, I'm tired.

In the VT, Little Mix got to meet The Saturdays, who helped them prepare for life as a relentlessly disappointing girlband of limited commercial potential. And then they went to see Twilight at a shopping centre, where Taylor Lautner read a platitude off a card at them. That's the big league right there.

9.08pm: Little Mix are doing Don't Let Go by En Vogue. It's from Set It Off, which I haven't heard of either.

To be fair to Little Mix, they said they were going to do something radical this week, and they definitely have. No plinths. Not a single plinth. This, without exaggeration, is progression on a par with Dylan going electric. Also, they're doing a slower song to show off their vocal talents. This is a mistake, obviously, because individually they sound a bit like hen night karaoke, but the no plinth thing should be enough to see them through to next week.

9.11pm: Oh, all the judges are going crazy for that performance. Again, I think the credit stays with the plinths. Either that or the way that all of Little Mix are dressed like that 1980s painting of the sad child-clown in a bowler hat. You know the one. It definitely wasn't the singing, though, was it?

9.14pm: There's only one act left tonight, and then we're done. This is brilliant. It's like being on holiday. Next week, of course, things will change because the remaining acts are doing two songs each, so it'll last forever again. Make the most of tonight, readers. Use this extra time to reconnect with your family, or learn to paint, or anything. This is freedom, readers. Freedom. Cherish it.

9.16pm: Dermot's just excitedly announced that the final of this year's X Factor will take place at Wembley Arena. He probably didn't see tonight's Strictly Come Dancing, then. It was hopeless.

9.17pm: Now for Marcus The Terrible Postman. Movie week will be a difficult week for Marcus, because he can't really play to his strengths. After all, how many movies have got an annoying sub-Mark Ronson soundtrack? Hardly any. Disappointing.

This week, Marcus has an identity crisis. Don't worry Marcus, you're a terrible postman. We all know that.

9.19pm: Marcus is singing Higher And Higher. It's a good song, plus it's from Ghostbusters 2 - easily the best comedy about the guy from Ally McBeal trying to murder Sigourney Weaver's baby.

He's joined onstage, as usual, by about a thousand people while he skips about in front of them like a giddy goon. However, because this song doesn't sound exactly like Mambo Number Five, it's a clear improvement on the last two weeks. There's even a key change, and a bit at the end where everything slows down, and a big finish. Marcus The Terrible Postman is throwing everything he's got at this one.

9.22pm: Kelly says that Marcus has shut the building down. I don't know why he did that. Maybe he had concerns about the structural integrity of the walls. Or maybe he's holding everyone hostage until he's allowed to take that horrible pink suit off. Anyway, was that the performance of the night? He doesn't have a lot of competition, to be fair.

9.23pm: And that's the end of tonight's mercifully brief episode. I don't know about you, but I've been gripped by an inexplicable urge to burn down my entire DVD collection. Still, don't forget to come back here tomorrow for the results. We're promised performances by Rebecca Ferguson and Rihanna, too, which I don't instantly hate the sound of. This is a new and unusual sensation for me. As always, thanks for all your truly wonderful comments. As always, here's a desperate plea for you to follow me on Twitter (@StuHeritage). As always, see you tomorrow. As always, vogue.