I’ve been surprised by the number of emails we’ve received from people who ask “What did they build at the White House?” when it seems pretty obvious that these are missile defense stations.

The last time I was in DC was for the Glenn Beck Rally to Restore America back in 2010. My flight got in early and I had a few hours to kill before it was time to meet up with my friends and I spent that time doing what I love to do most in DC — just wandering around with no purpose and seeing what historical buildings or monuments I run into. DC has a lot of twists and turns and strange angles that ultimately deposited me on that little street behind the White House where Blair House and the “Former President’s Club” buildings sit…it’s that little brick street where this construction was just starting to take place.

One of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me took place that day because next to the fence by the White House, just sitting there, was a big white binder. No one was anywhere near this thing. I thought maybe a school kid left it behind or something. It also looked like the kind of binder that people get at trade show conferences or training seminars (you know, the kind you’ll never look at again after you drag that back home with you on the plane). I was curious why it was just sitting there, not anywhere near a living person and I walked over to it. Before I could touch the thing an incredibly nasty black man with a heavy African accent started yelling at me. The guy was on a cellphone and wore a security uniform. He was yelling for me to get away from the binder.

The more he talked the more he seemed Nigerian to me and I yelled right back at him saying he had no right to yell at me. This was public property and if that was his binder then his supervisor should know he just left it sitting there. I also told him his supervisor would probably like to know he was on his cellphone wandering around with an abandoned binder sitting there. He very quickly picked it up and then walked back through the construction gates and into one of the little shacks they had setup.

I doubt the binder was anything important and was probably just checklists or whatever but I’ll always wonder if there was something more interesting inside that could have given me a clue as to what they were really building at the White House when they claim it was just “water pipes being replaced”.

Personally, I just assume these are anti-aircraft missile systems being installed. There’s no need for a new bunker of any kind, as some suspect, because that sort of thing has been long taken care-of. We know there were no missiles under the White House lawn through the 90s because a small plane was allowed to crash into the White House before 9/11. That would not have happened if there were defensive systems on property to shoot something like that down. Snipers cling to the roof of the White House daily but they have rifles, not bazookas. The place clearly needed some heavy anti-aircraft support since the Muslims who hijacked planes eleven years ago wanted to ram one of them into the White House; I will always believe the Pentagon was not their real target and that they meant for that plane to hit the White House but something made them crash it early (possibly fighter jets in the air?).

It makes no sense for this construction project to have been a bunker of any kind because more digging is not going to take place on the North Lawn with the same kind of thing built there. If you see these projects as anti-aircraft missile systems going into the ground then you can easily see why they’d need these in a few choice locations to cover every possible flight path a commandeered plane could take to approach the White House.

That construction project was about securing the White House air space, not upgrading water pipes or building a bunker.

It’s kind of scary they had a Nigerian who barely spoke English, spent his time talking to (I presume) some woman on his cell phone and abandoned his post, and left his binder unattended when he was supposed to be guarding one of these construction gates a few years ago…but if you ever get really close to the White House you’ll see just how human the place really is. You can peek through the gates and see the gardeners working or watch the people going to work there via one of the side gates and there’s really nothing all that special about any of them. These are people just like you and me, only a lot of them seem to be less intelligent than the average person because they have jobs there via political patronage and not true merit. Someone I know well used to work in that building and is very close to people who once lived there (and might live there again someday). He told me once that the biggest mistake the public ever makes is thinking that the people in government know more than regular folks do or are somehow more efficient with their time; conspiracy theories are ridiculous because they presume those involved have superhuman abilities to shape events through sheer force of will or can multitask to the required degree to pull these conspiracies off. In reality, the occupants of the White House and their staff more or less exist the same way YOU do: they wake up, they are tired most of the time, they can’t get to most of what they want to do in a day, they have no idea where the time goes, they make truly stupid mistakes that the conspiracy buffs interpret as intentional strategy, they more or less just react to things that happen to them and pretend to know what they are doing, and before they go to sleep they often drink heavily because their nerves are shot from having to keep up the appearance they can handle the pressure.

This is why the president’s hair seems to turn shock white during his term in office and why those who’ve lived in the White House never seem quite right afterwards and generally age rapidly in the post-presidential years. The place is toxic. People who want to kill everyone living and working there spend every day thinking of new ways to do it. The place is not the prize some people think it is and more than a few of the families who resided there end up wishing they’d never even heard of the place.

Would YOU want to sleep somewhere that missiles need to be installed to keep you safe?

Gay conservative political analyst, essayist, author and radio and TV commentator on politics, pop culture, LGBTQ issues, and current events. To email Kevin directly with a comment or complaint about this or any article, do so at: HillBuzz@gmail.com

13 Comments

“The place is not the prize some people think it is and more than a few of the families who resided there end up wishing they’d never even heard of the place”.

Perfectly understandable, I relish an occasional day where I can stay in my fuzzy robe embellished with Yorkshire terriers and slippers, without eyeliner and mascara. As far as protection at the White House is concerned, people should spend some time contemplating how and what got us to this time and place where missles have to be buried there in the first place. I think Jimmy Carter started this mess by betraying the Shah of Iran, and taking Americans hostage. What would have happened if America would had supported the student uprising of Iranian students instead of ignoring them, was that 2 years ago? I would love to see the Shah’s son challenge the Mullahs and throw them the hell out. The people of Iran are educated and most love America. What a new start that would be..

To answer your last question, HELL NO. I would NEVER want to live in that house. EVER. (Not that that’s every going to happen anyway).

Your post reminded me of the medical community. Many people think doctors have super powers too. It wasn’t until my husband was in med school that I realized that some doctors shouldn’t be around medicine at all. How they got into med school was beyond me as some of them were truly frightening.

The fact of the matter is that the White House doesn’t really stand out from the air. It has lots of tree cover around it, is only three stories in height and it isn’t sitting ‘naked’ on a hill like the Capital Building or out in the middle of a field like the Pentagon. One of the theories out there about 9/11 was that the terrorist pilot was unable to locate the White House and decided on the big fat white target that is the Pentagon.

I think on the approach to DC they couldn’t find the White House and then just went for the Pentagon. They assumed that the other plane would hit the Capitol and so the plane destined for the White House slammed into the ground early and hit the Pentagon instead of continuing its path towards the White House.

The plane meant for the Capitol was crashed in PA by passengers but the Muslims on the Pentagon-crashed flight did not know that the Capitol plane went down in PA and would not be hitting DC.

There has been a National Guard Air Defense Artillery unit deployed and stationed in DC for a few years now… no secret there. Maybe they’re trying to minimalize an overt military presence and build their own.

My oldest son works in DC for an Italian aerospace firm. He plays in a disorganized soccer league on the south lawn outside the fence. He says they see the White House while running to score and the Washington Monument when they drop back to defend. I love visualizing my very conservative son showing his moves in sight of B.O.:) He says that the scuttle butt is that a missile defense set up is there and that the roads are always torn up and the sewers having lots of me and machines going down the ‘drain’ so to speak. He says everyone in DC figures that is a Star Wars type of Iron Dome over the area..and that in an attack he is heading toward the W.H. Thanks for your interesting articles, Kevin. You are a treasure.