exists and is an alternate of .

Narcissists "love" their spouses or other significant othersas long as they continue to reliably provide them with Narcissistic Supply (in one word, with attention). Inevitably, they regard others as mere "sources", objects, or functions. Lacking empathy and emotional maturity, the narcissist's love is pathological. But the precise locus of the pathology depends on the narcissist's stability or instability in different parts of his life.

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We are, therefore, faced with two pathological forms of narcissistic "love". One type of narcissist "loves" others as one would attach to objects. He "loves" his spouse, for instance, simply because she exists and is available to provide him with Narcissistic Supply. He "loves" his children because they are part of his self-image as a successful husband and father. He "loves" his "friends" because and only as long as he can exploit them. Such a narcissist reacts with alarm and rage to any sign of independence and autonomy in his "charges". He tries to "freeze" everyone around him in their "allocated" positions and "assigned roles". His world is rigid and immovable, predictable and static, fully under his control. He punishes for "transgressions" against this ordained order. He thus stifles life as a dynamic process of compromising and growing ? rendering it instead a mere theatre, a tableau vivant.

The other type of narcissist abhors monotony and constancy, equating them, in his mind, with death. He seeks upheaval, drama, and change ? but only when they conform to his plans, designs, and views of the world and of himself. Thus, he does not encourage growth in his nearest and dearest. By monopolizing their lives, he, like the other kind of narcissist, also reduces them to mere objects, props in the exciting drama of his life.

This narcissist likewise rages at any sign of rebellion and disagreement. But, as opposed to the first sub-species, he seeks to animate others with his demented energy, grandiose plans, and megalomaniacal self-perception. An adrenaline junkie, his world is a whirlwind of comings and goings, reunions and separations, loves and hates, vocations adopted and discarded, schemes erected and dismantled, enemies turned friends and vice versa. His Universe is equally a theatre, but a more ferocious and chaotic one.

Where is love in all this? Where is the commitment to the loved one's welfare, the discipline, the extension of oneself to incorporate the beloved, the mutual growth? Nowhere to be seen. The narcissist's "love" is hate and fear disguised fear of losing control and hatred of the very people his precariously balanced personality so depends on. The narcissist is egotistically committed only to his own well-being. To him, the objects of his "love" are interchangeable and inferior.

He idealizes his nearest and dearest not because he is smitten by emotion ? but because he needs to captivate them and to convince himself that they are worthy Sources of Supply, despite their flaws and mediocrity. Once he deems them useless, he discards and devalues them similarly cold-bloodedly. A predator, always on the lookout, he debases the coin of "love" as he corrupts everything else in himself and around him.

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I think everyone have 2 components in them... the narcissism and the love... Me too... When we broke up and she went back to her bf... I cried then felt immense rage, but then...after a couple weeks, when it subsided, I realised that i loved her. Yes i did love her. There was always a part of me who wanted to call her and get back with her... telling her what she wanted to hear... that i love her... but every time it got blocked by the narcissism. I got very close... but it was always blocked. I did not realise only afterwards... Something was blocking me from expressing my emotions...

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A narcissist is human and, like most of us, will want love in a natural way. Sometimes that part will be heard and felt by a person who is a narcissist. However, it will often be repressed by fear or warped logic.

YES !! I recently got out of a relationship with an N. I broke up with him in the first place and then we got back together(or so I thought). Then it seemed he left me for a w…oman 10 yrs older than me, very unattractive and overweight. I later found out she is financially set. Still it bothers the hell out of me and I read narcissism articles for hours ! It's fascinating. Glad to know I'm not the only one ! Answer YES!!!!!!!I tell you, it's totally addictive.I'm still reading up on it because it's so fascinating! But beware! Some of the popular narcissistic Dr's information all over the web is to be cautiously advised due to him being a professed narcissist himself. Cosmicwalk on the web have some very innsightful narcissistic info on it. Just don't let it consume you newly found life. Since you let the narcissist go let some of the info go as well. Answer Yes!! The obsession can be great because you are trying to figure out why this person whom you care about act in the erratic manner that they do. When you find the out the answer, you try to do as much research as possible on narcissists. But don't go crazy and let it become your focal point in life. Narcissists are who they are and no matter how much knowledge you know about them, chances are they wont change. Answer YES!! And it's necessary! Eventually you will absorb all the knowledge you need and you will move on. But it's okay and it's an intelligent reaction.

some do because the obsess about themselves. this includes everything the do as well as work. ------ No they don't. It only has to appear they're doing a per…fect job. They'll put in an effort if it elevates their prestige whether others of high value are watching or obtaining a Title. -----------------------

They treat them as is they are to serve them to wait on them for everything. they want to be admired for everthing they do. alot of emotionialy abuse. and it's always your fai…lt.There's a book called( loving the self absorbed)by Nina W. Brown that could help you. There's just to much to write about

Generally they treat them in either of the following two ways: They hate them with a passion or they try to ingratiate themselves to them. In the first case this is… usually because the ex wife threw the guy out or demostrated in other ways that she was strong enough to be independent. In the second case, they want to either get back together to continue their abuse or they want the woman "in reserve" in case their latest victim kicks them out.

Narcissism? Narcissism, the excessive love or admiration of oneself, is a phenomina that usually results when parents, for one reason or another, pay too much atten…tiion to a child. The response of the child as it grows into adulthood, is to expect a duplication of the parental response in all of his/her relationships. I am fully aware of the loose usage of many psychological terms. It is possible that your spouse is simply self-involved or does not communicate well. These are possibilities. I therefore must frame my answer in the following way: if your spouse is really narcissistic, you can not expect much in terms of a changed behavior. But if she is simply self-involved, you might want to ask her how she feels about you and her relationship to you? You might get an answer or you might not. Read more about narcissism in the book reference on my Bio Page.

what is love obsession pls i would like to know Answer Love and obsession are not the same sometimes people confuse the two. If you really love someone you will not be obsesse…d with them. You will think about that person a lot and he or she is very important in your life and when the love is new you may feel obsessed with that person at first...you can't quit thinking about them, want to spend as much time with them as you can, and your world basically revolves around them but it's a normal thing when it's love. Obsession is unhealthy and many times is not real love. Its a strange, unrealistic emotion and is almost always one-sided. There is also people who are obsessed with just being in love and they don't really care who it is - they just want to be in love with somebody and are obsessed with making that happen.

No.. because they are always right. Absolutely- they know when to turn up the heat and when to pull back- its all about control and they will do whatever they have to do to g…et it and then hold on to it ................. New answer. A narcissist does not care. They have no sense of remorse, for every thing bad they do, it is only a reason to blame you for it. And no matter how good , loyal, hard working you are. They will cheat , leave you in a blink of an eye. Unless you are constantly , doing what they want. My wife is a narcissist, I worked same job for 12 years , 6 days a week , 60 hours. We would always fight, and I would always say , I'm sorry. Even when I thought I was right, just to end the argument. If you are with a narcissist , get out now!. I am sucked in , I feel I have to take care of my wife. As soon as I start to let go of her, she tells me how bad I made her life, how she wants to kill herself. When I am doing for her , she will act as if she is happy. A narcissist has the shortest memory in the world. They will remember every mistake you ever made, but will not remember what ever it was you did good for them. Every doubt you have in your mind , believe me is probably true. I have busted my wife in lie after lie. Still I chase this woman. Don't become pathetic ... Run

I believe narcissists generally do NOT have obsessions with religion, or any religion at all - they are the supreme authority in their life. Yes they can mine claimed to be …christian. Prayed before meals watched some joyce woman every morning on tv. But heres the thing. She said she would never stay with someone who cheated on her or betrayed her in anyway because she was a proud woman. Which seemed strange to me she was very cold about alot things and related it to pride. Now, cheating is bad we all know that. But she was very stern and we all know not everything is black and white. People do stray from relationships and manage to work things out. Now dont everyone jump in and say i must be a cheater i never have but i have been cheated on so i know what its like. Now when I look back it wasn't pride it was the lack of ability to forgive which is what religion teaches us. Once a N has been "Injured" in anyway look out because they r not forgiving. And there were many other areas how she wud treat me badly. So imo she claimed to be christian, and was a different person in front of friends and regular people as a front. To hide who she was behind closed doors. And by the way, she cheated on me so they can claim to be christian all they want u have to follow it up with actions which she couldn't. She was brought up with parents who pushed religion. I remember her telling me once when she was yound she wud cry at night and tell her parents she was afraid of going to hell. So its really the fear of that which makes her try to convince herself shes a christian but she certainly doesn't follow the golden rule she makes up her own rules. And reserves the right to change the rules at anytime to suit her.

There are no absolutes in life, except death. Other than that, we control our own actions and make our own choices...individually. It is a statistical impossibility that eve…ry single living person within whatever category you chose to lump them into, would act exactly the same, given the exact same set of circumstances. Therefore, there are some narcissistic spouses who cheat, and there are some who don't.

It's certainly possible. A narcissist may date another narcissist that is more selfish than they are to feel better about themselves. In turn say "i'm not as selfish as he/she… is so that makes me above him/her). It's incredible and shocking the way people with this disorder think. It takes a lot of research to understand a narcissist.

A Masochist is someone that loves pain, in short, and very generalized. Loving a narcissist is about pain, therefore only a masochist could love a narcissist. Having said tha…t, I think someone was being very sarcastic when writing it as anyone can fall in love with a narcissist, they are very charming and morph themselves to you, for awhile. I think they were trying to make the point that only a masochist could enjoying loving a narcissist, due to the pain part. On that I concur.

Narcissists can't love ANYONE - even their spouse. Once he is done reeling them in and brainwashing them - he will start abusing. The only answer is to RUN as fast & as far aw…ay from a Narcissist as possible.

It depends on what level of narcissim she is if it is not that bad than I think yes they can love their spouse in a different sort of way, but if they are really narcissistic …than no they will only be obssesed.