Sunday, 1 June 2014

Day 222: How do I become self Responsible?

I am continuing with expanding on the points in the document that can be found here:

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others.

Here the focal point is self responsibly. So what is self-responsibility exactly and how do you live it?

First thing to see realize here is that everything that goes on within you – every action and reaction, all words spoken and all the thoughts, feelings and emotions are all created by yourself. An example: You are a school kid and during class break a group of people laugh at you and start teasing you. This makes you angry. At home you say to yourself “they made me so angry I wanted to hit them!”. The question here is where did that anger come from? Did the other people have some kind of magic power to reach within you and create that anger within you? No. IN the end YOU were the one who actually created that anger all by yourself. Therefor it is not the other people who are to blame for making you angry, because you are the one responsible for yourself.

This can be applied to any other feeling or emotion or thought. In the end no one else has the power to make you feel anything – you alone are responsible for yourself and what happens within you.

What is cool about this particular principle is that blaming people becomes obsolete. Whenever I am in a situation where I took something personally – I realize that I am the one who allowed myself to take it personally and what I feel has nothing to do with the other person. We tend to want to “get back” at those who wronged us, believing that the only way we will feel better is if we “have our revenge”. There is a saying that goes something like “ Being angry at someone is like drinking poison and thinking the other person will die”. In the end you are only compromising yourself.

I alone am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me and thus only I have the power and ability to change that. We all want somebody to save us – to make us feel better and take away all our problems. We do not want to see the reality of the situation – that I alone have the power and ability to change myself. So if we take the example of you being the kid being teased in school – what you realize there is that you are the one who created the anger. First step is to find the reason why the anger was created and then deal with the anger so that next time the teasing will not affect you.

This is how you stop being directed and start being Self-directed. And this can be applied with any other thought, feeling and emotion. This is how self-responsibility is lived – to never blame another person for what is happening within you, because you realize that you alone are the one responsible for everything within you and thus it is up to you to give it all Direction and not expect others to do it for you.