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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Preposterous Statement Tournament VI United Credit Region

1. Rick Spielman
on Christian Ponder, “I give him just as much credit for getting us into the
playoffs as Adrian.” OVER the say in
game winner.

You guys don’t
need me to tell you the levels to which this absurd. I love quotes like this that can stand alone
as preposterous without any type of explanation. I mean, come on Rick. I get that he’s trying to save his own ass
from being ripped for this idiotic pick—sure there’s going to be some posturing
in the media, but it’s all bullshit.
Ponder sucks—you know it, I know it, he knows it (more than anyone I’m
sure), but he can’t just say it. But I mean,
come on Dick, choose your words a little more wisely.

9. Doug
Glanville on Delmon Young, “He’s just a consistent player that everyone wants
on their team in some form or fashion and is very clutch.” OVER 8. PA talking about how Percy Harvin couldn’t be upset with
Ponder, “Christian made Percy Harvin an MVP candidate halfway through the
season.”

Bahahahahaha. I guess it’s not all false, he is a
consistent player, in the sense that he is consistently flailing away at
pitches out of the strike zone, not walking, stumbling around in the corner
outfield, throwing bats at umpires, and being a bigot. That’s all true that he’s consistent in that
regard. But literally no one wants him in their organization—Tampa traded him coming off a nice year as like a 23 year-old,
the Twins dumped him for a couple of
non-prospects, the Tigers let him walk even after getting hot in the playoffs,
the Phillies dumped his fat ass after 4 months of subpar play, Tampa dumped him
again, and now he’s in Baltimore on a minor league deal. He’s consistently bouncing around. He's none of those other things.

12. Dick
Bremer “Somewhere between Samuel Deduno and PJ Walters is a Cy Young Award
winner.” OVER 5. Jim Callis “Minor
leaguers Byron Buxton and Miguel Sano could become a close approximation to Mike
Trout and Bryce Harper.”

Bremer coming
in HOT. Holy shit. He had to have said this in the 8th
inning of an August west coast roadtrip game when Bert is on his 4th
bourbon and he’s just throwing shit out there so as to not have some dead
air. This is a true powerhouse quote—it must
have had a low RPI and an easy schedule, but you only play who shows up at the
other end of the court before the game.
This one’s going a long way if everyone thinks like me.

13. Greg
Anthony during Clippers/Nuggets game remarked that the altitude in Denver
changes the weight of the basketball and makes it much lighter than a normal
basketball’s weight in any other stadium OVER
4. Auburn AD Jay Jacobs “I think it would be, quite frankly, un-American for us
to not get a chance to go to Pasadena.”

This one isn’t
as preposterous as it is just plain silly.
I love when non-science people try and explain science, and I’ve been
known to bullshit about park factors and weather and shit like that without
having ANY qualification whatsoever.
That being said, Greg Anthony basically just heard someone waxing poetic
about homers at Coors Field being blasted into bolivian and decided he would
bring it into basketball. Nice try. #COORS

6. Dick Bremer
tweeted “Nolasco, Hughes, Correia, Gibson, Diamond, Worley, Meyer and other
make up the foundation for a good rotation.” OVER 11. AJ Mansour “Eli Manning is just as inconsistent as Tony
Romo—only difference is he won a couple of Super Bowls.”

Maybe the
foundation for a good rotation in the Eastern League. Bremer’s gonna Bremer.

14. PA on the
2013 Vikings, “Our offense next year is going to be like it was back in 1998.” OVER 3. Rick Anderson says NL hitters
keep swinging at Francisco Liriano’s slider because, “They just don’t know him
real well.”

It’s certain
the Andy didn’t really know what to say about all of Liriano’s successes last
year—he doesn’t have to, no one is blaming the Twins for letting him go. He always had the talent, but it wasn’t
working here. That being said, PA saying
a Ponder-led offense will rival 3-Deep just makes me angry.

7. Randy
Moss—“I’ve always been a team player, I’ve never been about self.” OVER 10. Star Tribune headline—“Vikings
compare favorably to NFC Champ 49ers.”

Now, as you
all (should) know, I LOVE 84. Randy Ratio, “I play when I wanna play,” mooning
the Packer fans, all of it. But saying
he was always about the team isn’t exactly in line with his track record. White mid-50s assholes all over Minnesota
hated Moss because he didn’t have the humble hockey player mentality. He was one of the most valuable Vikings of
all time, but they all bashed him because of how brash he was. Doesn’t bother me. But this is still a ridiculous quote.

2. Kevin Gorg
previewing Blackhawks/Wild playoff game 1, PA
asked “What if we get a 2-0 lead in this game tonight?” Gorg responded, “I
almost think you’re better off if this game stays scoreless for a long time.” OVER
15. Dwight Howard “A lot of us don’t participate in it because we do so much
during the All-Star Weekend, that by the time we get to the dunk contest, we
have no legs.”

Well, an
esteemed hockey analyst like Kevin Gorg would know better than I, but I’m going
to go ahead and take the goals, thanks.