Actually, I don’t complain about what I do for a living. I let readers take care of that.

But each year, CareerCast.com, a site that lists job openings and creates silly lists, ranks 200 occupations from best to worst. The analysis involves evaluating stress levels, workplace environment, hiring outlook and average pay — but, for some crazy reason, not vending machine selections, which right now at 1 News Plaza includes the likes of a Tijuana Mexican Breakfast Bagel Sandwich. I spent an eternity one night in Tijuana, which I survived in part by not opening my mouth for any reason, least of all for a bagel.

Anyway, at the bottom of last year’s rankings was newspaper reporter. I didn’t bother to read why: I imagine it’s because of all the physical pain to elbows and ears from answering call after call by cheerful readers always eager to praise newsrooms for all their hard work — encouraging words from the kind of reasonable, pleasant readers who certainly never would think of calling to scream about a lone misspelling in the thirty-third paragraph of a 2,000-word wire-service story; or to grunt requests for phone numbers for local TV stations, Oprah Winfrey or 411; or to ask us to dig up that one story about grandma’s prize-winning beet casserole that ran on page D867 one day last year or wait maybe it was in 1937 but then again perhaps the article actually ran in a paper in another city or possibly the story was on TV.

Anyway, this month, because of reporters’ collective hard work via blood, sweat and tears, our occupation has surged in the rankings all the way to (drum roll, please) ... No. 199! Woot! Yep, there’s one job worse than ours, a footstool on which we scribblers can stand upon and feel a little bit taller.

Which job is worse? Yours, probably. Sorry, sucker! But we’ll get to that in a minute.

First, though, I can say I was surprised at some of these jobs, especially those that I didn’t know actually exist. Like astronomy. I mean, I know it’s a science, but I was amazed to find out that astronomers get paid $106,000 a year to look upward a lot. Is that necessary? Haven’t we pretty much pinned down the number of planets in the solar system? Eight or nine, right? You might say, “Well, an astronomer could warn us if an asteroid is about to slam into the earth.” Sure, but what can astronomers do about a hurtling asteroid? Stop it? With what, a brave barricade of telescopes?

Page 2 of 3 - Another job I didn’t know existed: historian. History can be interesting, but who employs historians for $53,000 a year? As CareerCast explains the job description: “Analyzes and records historical information from a specific era.” But hasn’t all the history been recorded so far? I mean, it’s already happened, right? And lately, nothing much has been going on. My guess is, professional historians read the newspaper every morning, stick it in a filed cabinet marked “today’s history,” then sleep all day. Sounds like a good gig.

Speaking of which, of the four top rankings, four involve math: actuary, statistician and — at No. 1 — mathematician. Tell that to your kids the next time they grumble about doing arithmetic homework. Mathematics isn’t sexy, but a $101,000 salary is.

As far as pay goes, the disparity is hard to figure with some jobs. For example, at No. 29: podiatrist, who make $116,000 a year. That’s fine. But at No. 55, you’ll find nuclear engineer, who “conducts research, designs and monitors the operation and maintenance of nuclear reactors and power plant equipment” — for $104,000 a year. Shouldn’t we have a better financial emphasis on the latter occupation? I realize that it’s totally important to have super-cute toes, but if a nearby power plant explodes, corns and bunions don’t really matter.

With some of the rankings, I’m a bit befuddled about the detail. For instance, right in the middle (No. 101) is clergy, whose job stress is listed as just 95th worst. You’d think it’d be higher. I mean, if I make a mistake in print, I might end up in the newspaper’s “corrections.” But if the clergy screws up, someone might end up in hell. Plus, in that line of work, it’s not cool to complain about the boss. All in all, it seems like a lot of job pressure.

Sticking out near the bottom of the list, at No. 181, is dockworker, which is cited for bad pay, bad future and bad everything. Then again, Bon Jovi doesn’t write songs about every occupation. Tommy never worked on the newspaper, though CareerCast might say we’re living on a prayer.

But I’ll ease the suspense that's been building since early in this column. The worst job, even worser than we wordsmiths, is ... lumberjack! The problem? Equipment has gone high-tech and efficient, eliminating the need for as many lumberjacks. Gee, and for years I thought all a lumberjack needed was a sharp saw, flannel shirt and bushy beard.

Page 3 of 3 - That’s understandable. We don’t always understand each other’s jobs. For instance, people look at me and think that to be a reporter all you need is a pretty face. Yeah, that’s part of the burden we bear — some of the rare air we breathe in the lofty stratosphere that’s home to the No. 199th best job in America. If you’re not impressed, go ask the nearest lumberjack.