Bolt Quotes: Ridiculous and Sublime

Waiting for Usain.

"I just blew my mind and blew the world's mind," Usain Bolt said about two hours ago.

Some of you may not have been in a Chinese stadium's underbelly moments after the Jamaican sprinter became the first man to post world-record-breaking gold-medal-winning 100- and 200-meter sprints in Olympic history. Here's what it was like to be part of the mind blow.

Anyone wearing the colors of Jamaica immediately attracted a mob of 25 journalists. Half the journalists didn't know whom they were interviewing, just that the person was from Jamaica. The two runners from the 200-meter race whose times were in question due to lane issues didn't speak to the media. Bolt, the new sprinting king, was occupied. That left the 6th, 7th and 8th finishers to deal with the hundreds of media folks not talking to random Jamaicans officials. All the questions they faced were about Bolt.

Everything this guy does is photogenic. (By Thomas Kienzle - AP)

A official woman with a megaphone screamed directly in our faces about the various protests launched by the U.S. team. The journalists sweated. The Jamaican officials hugged each other. The journalists switched Jamaicans, gathering around yet another person they couldn't identify.

Finally we were all shepherded to a press conference room, where, after 20 minutes, Bolt signaled his arrival by striking his customary pose--which he said was based on a traditional Jamaican dance--then watching his victory as it played on a monitor.

"I was looking at myself and I'm like, 'that guy's fast,' " he later said. Some woman in the back--evidently overcome by emotion--laughed deliriously at everything he said.

And through it all, some idiot was going around asking everyone about yams. Oh yeah, that was me. Here's your breaking source for quites by and of Usain Bolt, concerning yams and other things.

Usain Bolt: "To tell you the truth, right now, I just want to chill out. I just want to sleep....I wish I was just in sandals right now, taking a weekend."

Jamaican Minister of Information, Culture, Youth and Sports Olivia Grange: "We are overwhelmed. We are overjoyed. We are proud to be Jamaican. We are the sprint factory of the world."

Jamaican Federation Doctor Herb Elliott: "His mother and father have kept him down to terra firma. The eagles are not there, as you see. He likes dancing, as you see. That is it, gentlemen."

Usain Bolt: "I've been dreaming of this since I was like yea high....Anything is possible If I put my mind to it. I'm just looking forward to my birthday tomorrow. Actually, I'm 22 now."

Zimbabwe's Brian Dzingai "I mean, he's a phenom, man. He's just a phenom. That's all I can say. He's scratching the surface of what he can do now....I mean, he's the real deal."

St. Kitts's Kim Collins: He's definitely running faster than everybody....What he's running now, we can't catch him, so we have to catch him on a bad day when he's not so fast and take advantage of that."

Great Britain's Christian Malcolm "I don't know what to say. For some reasons, if you're Jamaican, you're gifted with speed. I've got Jamaican blood running through me, both my parents are Jamaican. It seems like everyone's who's Jamaican has got speed, I don't know what it is....Something about that Jamaican blood."

Jamaican Federation Doctor Herb Elliott: "We always had great athletes, but they have lost over to the years who people who we suspected were on stuff.....It's a pity because the people would not hear national anthems and what have you, but the fact is that we have always run well. Sprinting is not new to Jamaica."

Jamaican Assistant Track Coach Maurice Wilson [to a Norwegian]: "What is your national sport, fishing? ["Skiing," he was told.] So when you have a ski championship you have a lot of persons coming, right? Well it is the same with us. Track and field is our national sport."

Ok, ok, fine. Cool. Now, one more time, but with more yams. (Bearing in mind that Bolt's dad has attributed his son's stunning speed to the powers of the Trelawny yam, and attempting to provide you with quotes that you will literally see nowhere else in the world.)

Great Britain's Christian Malcolm: "Haha. All Jamaicans' parents will always tell you it's the food, it's always the hard food. You know, my mum always brought me up on good food, even though I'm quite slim, myself. But, you know, it's the good food. It's pure, it's good....I eat yams. I don't know if it's the yams, but I eat yams."

Jamaican assistant track coach and former sprinter Bertland Cameron: "The yam and the banana, jah mahn. The food in the ground. We don't use fertilizer. It just grows natural....Giant, mahn."

Jamaican assistant track coach Maurice Wilson: "That's our staple food....A lot of carbohydrates. You are from where, which country? United States? So you eat a lot of potatoes, right? We eat a lot of yams."

Jamaican Federation Doctor Herb Elliott:: "He come from Trelawny, where there are superb yams. His mother says that him like the dumplings with pork."

Usain Bolt: "You want the truth, right? All right. I got up at 12, yah, 12. My masseuse brought me nuggets, of course. I'm serious, though, he brought me nuggets. I didn't really want to go to the cafeteria so he brought me nuggets. And I came straight to the track, and my masseuse again brought me more nuggets. I just had two, though, because my coach was saying I shouldn't eat so much nuggets before the race."

Ok, you'll probably see that quote elsewhere, with Bolt saying that for a second straight record-breaking night his fuel was chicken nuggets. And it's a damn shame no one asked him about yams.

I'm from the Caribbean, and this is one of the funniest articles I've read about the Bolt. You seem to have caught the humour! Most people are taking them very seriously, which makes it even funnier to us. Don't worry, be happy!