Thursday, July 29, 2004

The Great Rubber Band Crisis of 2002

House-packing reminds me of things like this:

<suspenseful theme music>

You never heard of it? The Great Rubber Band Crisis of 2002 lingers on,
carrying forward all of the reactive damage from that school day just a few
years ago. Today, when D. went looking for a rubber band while packing, I
reminded her that we kept none, that we summarily banned all rubber bands from
the house, destroyed them, snapped them into oblivion two years ago.

Snap!

I don't want to embarrass anyone, least of all Ph., who catalyzed the Crisis
with a buildup of contraband sneakery, locker-stock hoarding and pen-cap
projecting. Why are the rubber band supplies from home dwindling?
Call from the school. And so on.

I haven't alerted authorities about this, since one averted crisis gives rise to two or three new ones. Clamp down on the rubber bands and it just shifts to something else (like bouncing basketballs off the car, for example). -DM