From early childhood Charndra McKay, 39, has battled obesity, but her two young daughters give her reason to change. Yet every meal wages a war within her. She reached higher for a deeper answer, which was vulnerability.

When her church in Randolph asked her to share something about her walk with God, Charndra decided to strip away shame and secrets, the emotional weight at the heart of her physical weight. She took a deep breath and dove into the murky waters of her past.

In front of 500 people Charndra said: “My childhood was tainted by sexual abuse, violence and alcoholism. I learned at an early age that food meant comfort, it was something to look forward to, an escape from the things going on around me.

Without really understanding it at the time, I started using food to build layers of protection around myself to hide from unwanted attention and deal with emotions that I could not understand or express. I learned early how to hide away the most fragile parts of myself from others and keep up appearances.”

Even her closest friends were held at a comfortable distance, and she admitted, “This is also true of my relationship with God. Though intellectually I understand that nothing is hidden from God, at times I have struggled to pray, stay connected with and trust him.”

However, a scripture holds there are no secrets or false fronts with God, and there remains only to take responsibility. Charndra shared Hebrews 4:13: “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

Love from her husband, Madison, and their daughters Aziza, 3, and Eliana, 1, helps her to break free of a lifelong cycle.

“Being a mom of daughters, I am often faced with unresolved issues from my past and doubts about whether I can be the mom my girls need me to be. I want to be a better example for them in my walk with God, my health and relationships.”

Last October Charndra weighed 265 lbs. This past June she weighed 224, and said, “I removed inflammatory foods from my diet (wheat, sugar, legumes, soy dairy and grains) and my meals consist of lots of vegetables, lean protein and limited fruits.” To overcome hurts from her past, she surrenders inner transformation to God.

“Without a change in my heart and deeper convictions I will end up right back where I started. The food may change but the heart and habits remain the same without his help.”

She counts on what God promised in Ezekiel 36:26, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Page 2 of 2 - Charndra said, “When we feel like we cannot or we don’t want to be vulnerable, we are too afraid to trust God. We can remind ourselves that God became completely vulnerable to us, he died naked, abandoned and alone on the cross.”

And then the stay-at-home mom stepped down to thunderous applause.

Email Suzette Martinez Standring: suzmar@comcast.net or visit www.readsuzette.com. She is the author of the new Amazon bestseller, The Art of Opinion Writing, and the award-winning The Art of Column Writing