Janet Is a Part of the Fedora Nation

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The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe (not necessarily in that order).Photo: WireImage

It doesn’t make us proud, but we couldn’t help ourselves: So much has been made in the tabloids of Janet Jackson’s fluctuating weight that when we first saw her at Catherine Malandrino’s show, we did a quick check to size up which salacious stories were accurate. We’re pleased to report that Miss Jackson–if–you’re–nasty appeared healthy, neither too tiny nor carrying the 30 extra pounds people seem to think she’s packing. She did, however, wear a fedora with a small feather tucked into the band, giving her look a distinct and sort-of-forced air of Lady Mobster. So … we guess we’ll be calling her Miss Jackson.

When the paps descended upon Janet (yeah, we’ll go with the first-name basis — we’re not afraid of her) in the front row, a nearby Mary J. Blige leaned far over to her left so she could duck out of the action. She seemed faintly perturbed, which is weird, since this isn’t exactly her first rodeo and it was practically a gentle gathering of close pals compared to the Baby Phat mêlée.

Emmy Rossum perched delicately — and wearing color! — a few seats down from model-socialite Amanda Hearst. But Sophia Bush had the best spot in the house, being as she was right next to our classy hero Tim Gunn and his new partner in televisual crime, Veronica Webb. At one point we caught his eye and smiled, and he said, “Thanks for yesterday!” Either he mistook us for someone else, or he knows we are destined to be best friends and is thanking us for things we are destined to do later, in a special language only we will ever understand. We are confident it’s the latter.

Gunn’s former Project Runway pupil Malan Breton was wrapped in a cranberry velvet blazer, stuck in the last of three rows of standing room until a kind PR girl plucked him and led him to a second-row seat. As people around him fanned themselves in the sweltering Chelsea Art Gallery, he never once stopped beaming or betrayed the fact that he was a second away from melting.

Quite the opposite were man-about-town Kristian Laliberte and his two insipid pals, one of whom, Bridget, is a cast member on SoapNet’s reality series The Fashionista Diaries. This is the same girl who used to claim to be Leven Rambin’s stylist (Leven has since moved on to greener pastures). The three of them spent the entire show making faces and snickering behind their programs with an attitude rather reminiscent of when we saw Paris Hilton brazenly reapply makeup in the front row of last September’s Max Azria show. Haven’t they heard that even Paris isn’t pulling that kind of crap anymore? When she outdoes you in the etiquette department, that’s when you know you have problems. —The Fug Girls