Monday, April 25, 2011

Hitch a Ride on the Noodle Express

It hasn't quite been a week since my last post and I just couldn't take not writing about myself (since I tried to stay focused on Karma in my last one).

I'm having knee surgery on Wednesday. Nothing major. It's arthroscopic (little camera) in an outpatient clinic and they're just cutting a loose piece of cartilage away from under my knee cap. My roommates are out of town and my mom has a lot of work in VA, so Karma is going to be my nurse. I've been joking that I'll be eating Tibetan-style noodle soup until I can stand long enough to cook for myself, but he's assured me that this will not be the case. I'm interested to see how he handles being "in charge", per se. I'm sure I'm exaggerating (what's new), but it could be quite entertaining. Bonus that we have the new bed and it's unbelievably comfortable!

While I was cooking tonight I asked Karma to clean. He swept upstairs and then, apparently, felt like he was finished, so I asked, "Are you going to mop?" He said it's a Tibetan custom not to clean at night...I thought that was fairly convenient and we got a good laugh. Then, as he walked away, I shouted, "What about the toilet?" He came back to the kitchen and asked if I was serious about him cleaning it....I half grunted, half chuckled and said, "No." Then, he came out with this little gem......

"This is a Tibetan saying: If one mouth speaks two different meanings, then two farts will come from one butt."

He can't be making this up, but it's sometimes hard to believe. Tibetan parables are sometimes really raunchy, I have a book of them. I appreciate that a simple, nomadic culture has such great senses of humor. For my more prudish readers, this may be a good time to stop reading this post...I think things are going to head south (figuratively) from here (due to recent conversations that occurred regarding sex).

Karma told me this story over the weekend about his friend who is a Tibetan monk that was out shopping with a Tibetan guy (not a monk) and they wandered into a sex toy shop. The monk was wearing his monkly attire and felt deeply ashamed to be in there, mostly because the owner was Indian and kept calling him "Guru-ji," which is a very respectful way to address a spiritual teacher. As Karma was telling me this, I realized from his tone and disbelief of the situation that he had NO idea that sex toy shops were common. Nor did he realize that many people from a wide array of backgrounds patron said shops. (I, in fact, used to fill in work at one in Austin from time to time that my friend owned.)

Anyways, I figured that that was as good a time as any to show him my "stash."

[Now my mom reads this blog, along with various other family & community members, so I feel I'm walking a fine line between being boldly honest (I'm holding back here a bit) and being somewhat modest (I'd say that Karma would be mortified if he knew I was "publicly" sharing about this particular story, but he just walked in and read this so I'm in the clear, in fact, he says we might become famous if we write a books together, lol.)

Back to the "stash." (Which isn't much, I might add.) I thought my husband was going to have a heart attack. He began laughing so hard, which, in turn, caused me to as well. He asked if these were common to have and I said that most of my female friends do. He just laughed and laughed. I told him I used to work at a store that sold similar items and he asked if it was all women coming in alone. I explained that many couples came in shopping together, but sometimes people shopped alone.

I think I blew his mind.

I'm baffled by how much there is for him to learn after being here for 6 months, although, he's been here about as long as I was in India when I met him, which gives me perspective. Catching the bus there was a nightmare since I don't read (or speak) Hindi, not to mention the countless other things I needed my hand held through in order to function. Karma's doing great. He was laughing the other day and saying that there needs to be a class for ex-monks to learn how to be "regular" (married) guys (I'm thinking "Hitch" but more about marriage than dating.) He's learning more than just our culture & language, that's for sure. Although I agreed with him that it would be beneficial for Tibetan, ex-monks, I'm sure some American-born dudes might benefit, too.

I'll check in post-knee surgery and let you know how the noodles are.....