Art by David Wynne. No print this week, but you can contact David to purchase the original!

In which we ring in the new year with Cable’s on-page debut; it’s really the ’90s now; we enter the third major era of New Mutants; what Liefeld lacks in craft he makes up for in energy; we pitch a new “What if–” line; Rusty and Skids are terrible superheroes; X-Factor has probably given up on a lot of things; we speculate at gratuitous length on the content of Cable’s pouches; you have reason to go to the devil; and Cable makes a lot more sense when you realize he’s of, by, and for teenagers.

X-PLAINED:

How the Legacy Virus got loose

New Mutants #86-89

Cable’s on-page debut

Rob Liefeld

The third major era of New Mutants

A shift in the balance of power

A comics shop to probably avoid if you time-travel back to the mid 1990s

In which Rusty is an honorary Bluth; we bid a sad farewell to Bret Blevins; Hogan the Grim is probably the best at bedtime stories; Asgard has really tight hat game; Hela is a remarkably competent supervillain; there are some sound effects you have to earn; Rusty and Skids fight the Vulture; and Miles has so many feelings about Thor.

In which we get back on the continuity train; everything is the aftermath of Inferno forever; you should never fight a tractor or a horse without first putting on some damn pants; Vincent Price would’ve made a terrific Doctor Strange; Rusty Collins never really gets a fair break; Boom Boom is in over her head; and Brett Blevins takes his place as the definitive New Mutants artist.

In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.

X-PLAINED:

The S-Men

New Mutants Forever #1-5

Magma’s revised family tree

Updating the New Mutants

The delicate balance of the Forever line

The web

Idiom confusion

A flawed cultural analogy

Tiberius the Generic

Several profoundly dubious costumes

Family resemblance

Skull v. Skull

The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis

Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!

In which you really can’t compete with Cable; the X-Men may or may not ditch a funeral; Nanny extrudes the grappling arms; Boom Boom is more responsible than she looks; Jean Grey is the cool stepmom; we posit an alternate explanation for Brexit; and ravens are the best dinosaurs.