An utterly worthless "men's magazine" (men being 15 year olds) that's about half advertisements, the other half consisting of articles encouraging you to buy certain hot, new products (read: more advertisements). Though often purchased for its promise of titillating female celebrity photos, the American version fails completely at this task as it is afraid to show its models in anything less than conservative lingerie.

After getting to the eighth page of my new issue of Maxim without seeing anything other than ads, I decided to close the idiotic periodical before I lost any more brain cells.

One who is very practical and seemingly stoic but unknown to many outsiders has a very sensitive disposition. Maxims are composed of a rare mixture of professionalism and fratitude, often glorified by their male peer base for outrageous behavior and profound judgments. Maxims are adored by many female admirers due to their great backsides and choice of cologne. If you are ever caught alone with a Maxim and he orders you the atrocious fire, you can guarantee it's love.

Don't ever look a Maxim in the eye when you are about to challenge his authority.