Kyrie Irving

As we head into August, now is a perfect time to take a look back at the free agency period for the upcoming 2014-15 NBA season.

While there is one big name yet to sign (Eric Bledsoe), a few less-intriguing options still on the market (Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, Kent Bazemore, Jordan Crawford), and another who’s unsure whether he’ll play or retire (Ray Allen), most of the fantasy basketball world knows where guys will be playing this season. Of course, that still doesn’t include the possibility of Kevin Love finding a new home by the end of the summer, but that could be the subject of an entirely different article.

There is little doubt in anyone’s mind that Love will land in Cleveland, which will make them a huge force in the Eastern Conference — and in the entire NBA.

We all know the story. Cleveland fans burn things, then stage apology videos. Yeah, let’s put the ashes from last night’s barbecue and put it on top of my LeBron James Cavs jersey and pick it up. Sooooooooooo symbolic. Somebody is already halfway through the 30 for 30 special… But I got an advanced look at LeBron’s first press event with Cavs owner Dan Gilbert:

I love what Slim said in his reaction as a Heat fan. “LeBron’s legacy will now be that of a journeyman.” BURN! Poor choice of the all caps scathing word, JB! LeBron is still the alpha dog of the NBA, but he’s now numero tres in my ranking-os… Never was too good at Spanish. I’m moving Anthony Davis up to 2 and joining Slim’s bandwagon. Even though BronBron had talent around him in Miami, he never had a point guard. Which I mean more literally than not since Mario Chalmers‘ assists look more like Billy Dee Williams’ Dancing with the Stars‘ scores than an NBA PG’s! And now LeBron’s got family on his team! I don’t mean the city of Cleveland, but Uncle Drew! They should mish mash one of those videos with drunk uncle from SNL… Anyway, Kyrie Irving is going to have some balls in his hands (cough), so LeBron will be performing less hernia tests. Kyrie’s three-year arc has been declining FG% but steadily improving Ast/TO ratios and overall dimes. More efficient with the ball, but not hitting the shots. Maybe it’s because the Cavs had no other playmakers… Iso for Anderson Varejao! Dion Waiters just blocked me on Twitter. LeBron will be a huge ease on Kyrie’s defensive pressure, however stemming from that – if Kyrie is hot, he shootin’! Both will have great final numbers, but a little inconsistent game-to-game. LeBron should see his dimes go down a tick as well. Here’s a look at the rest of the free agency movement and some key notes from Summer League:

Free agency is here! It has been a bit mum since the FA pool is awaiting that LeBron James cannonball, leaving us without a good snapshot of how the league will look in 2014-15. But we’ve got Summer League getting into gear and a couple interesting FA moves.

With the The Decision 2.0 on hold, even P.J. Hairston is antsy and trying to get some ball in. According to reports, he got into a fight with a high school senior, literally at the YMCA closest to the one where I play pickup (Chapel Hill). While some guys are really good at Chapel Hill, there aren’t any NBA players actin’ a fool and calling three in the key! This is likely a non-story, but it just makes you shake your head. Almost as much as my former rookie nookie Archie Goodwingetting arrested at an Arkansas skating rink. Sure, you can tweet “Don’t assume if you don’t know the whole story…” to which I say, “the hell you gonna get into that kinda situation at a skating rink for!” Man, that pine gonna stay warm this year, Archie! Here’s some other [actually useful for fantasy] news and notes of free agent signings and early Summer League performances:

Razzball Nation! You’ve seen a dime a dozen… And no I’m not talking about lady parts or buttcheeks on Game of Thrones…. But mock 2014 NBA Drafts! And since Game of Thrones is the hottest thing on TV, Slim and I decided to join the fray. Let’s pretend he’s built like Drogo, the facial hair is fa rizz folks, and I back-and-forth with him like whatever the hell that giant was north of the wall. But not like that! Wait, this just got way off track…

What we did differently is alternate picks to adjust our thoughts and expectations accordingly. Slim thinks Embiid to the Cavs, I think it’s Wiggins, many others think Parker… We then have to make new thoughts as we go, and track players falling to get them to their upcoming destinations. We both go into why we made that pick for the team, and a quick blurb on their fantasy impact on said destination should it come to fruition. Here’s how we see the 2014 NBA Draft’s First Round going down:

Happy draft lottery, Cleveland-ites! Is having another 1st overall pick enough to lure LeBron back?! I think chances of that are as good as Anthony Bennett turning out to be a good player…

And now to the fun stuff… Figuring out where to rank the volatile middle-tier guys. As Paris Hilton once said, “Studs are studs! Except for when they’re busts!” Wow, awful. Needed to get some shock value in here – that was my proverbial watermelon mallet.

After the top 20, things get pretty tricky this early in the offseason. And until a good bit after the NBA Draft, 50 is as high as we’re gonna go. The draft class is loaded, and several should proliferate into the top 100, with a few even top 50 guys in the right situation. Then free agency, old guys retiring, all that hooblah. But if you’re thinking ahead to some dynasties or formulating some early fantasy draft strategies, here’s my way too early Top 50 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (spoiler alert: still no Jonas Valanciunas):

Razzball Hoops Nation! It’s officially the offseason! Well for fantasy… And for the Knicks and the Lakers. And the Pacers! Haha, sorry matt, just joshin’…

And what better way to look back on the 2013-14 season than to reflect on the rankings. Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it! Dammit, that means I can’t ever rank Ricky Rubio highly again even though I know I’ll want to!

So I reflected back on my ranks, and patted myself on the back or immolated myself on what I was thinking so long ago. Rankings are based on my final updated top 200 and eesh! Looking back on these some are rough! I then compared them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues for the season. I had Slim come in and grade each of my picks, and man, he’s a harsh grader! And unfortunately he doesn’t take too kindly to giant pasty men flashing their teetans at him either, so I got no extra help. Here’s a look back at the Top 20 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets likethese, plus he’s almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. “I’m not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I’ve got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!” Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it’s hard to type it… Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was “exhausted” after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He’ll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he’s pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he’s #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He’s stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:

Hmmmm, ok, who did you pick in you office “who scores 40 points tonight” pool? I bet the Vegas odds were… a million to one on Nick Young. “So you’re saying there’s a chance!” Too bad Nick Young sucks in fantasy. You actually have to go back 15 games to find him putting up a 5 in any counting stat other than treys. The ThrAGNOF fairy strikes again! Dude went a preposterous 15-26 (6-13 3PTM 4-5 FT) 40/4/1/2/0 and only had one turnover last night. The Blazers should be ashamed. I’m pretty sure this game never actually happened, and it was some sort of elaborate April Fool’s joke. Swaggy P shockingly led the Lakers in minutes off the bench, and with his shoot first, ask questions later attitude, Mike D’Anotni’s rape stache kept curling upwards in facial hair glee. By the end of the game (and yes, another Lakers loss), D’Anotni’s mustache looked like Rollie Fingers. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

“1,000, 1,001, 1,002, 1,003. Wow, I can hardly lift my left arm I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me, but I did over 1,000.” Maybe should’ve stopped at like 40! Kyrie Irving strained his left biceps a couple weeks ago, sending owners into a furious frenzy of wire replacements. And one of the most fun times of the year (although you could argue most frustrating) is when the fringe or struggling playoff teams make drastic moves. Well, I would argue dropping Kyrie when news hit wasn’t a drastic move, but I think you all know what I’m saying in H2H leagues. After a very positive reevaluation, Uncle Drew was cleared for practice yesterday and could return as soon as tomorrow. Talk about positivity! While the game tomorrow against the Magic seems questionable, there still is cloudy uncertainty. Both that game and the Cavs next on Friday at the Hawks are on very busy, heavily-scheduled days. Of course when healthy, Kyrie is a no-brainer, but I’d imagine his first game back comes with a little bit of training wheels. So if you’re in your final week in your title hopes, I’m not seeing an immediacy in picking him up. But if your finals are next week, or a two-week final, go ahead and Cry Uncle. Wait, that doesn’t mean what I was hoping. Go ahead and pry Uncle? Eh… In Roto, hopefully you held Kyrie as that’s what I would’ve done. Looking ahead to next week, it’s sadly only three games for the Cavs, but stay positive! One against Detroit and another against da Bucks. Gotta like those. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be ThrAGNOF! Full disclosure – I had to look up this song from that movie about a weird looking ginger chick and it’s about coming of age or something. No, not Teeth! Last night, an injury-ravaged, de-taloned Pelicans went out and shocked the Clippers. Kevin Hart, apparently a big Clippers fan, got to travel with LA on a Ride Along I’m guessing. When Jamal Crawford upchucked a three at the buzzer for the win, that arced so high it might’ve hit the Cowboys Stadium scoreboard, Hart started crying when it barely hit rim and got angrier than his little cameo in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Anyway – Anthony Morrow was a big factor in the upset win, going full-ThrAGNOF 27/5/0/0/1 with two treys. Scoring is the name of his game! Always a high-volume shooter, Morrow just has never stuck in a big role as he doesn’t do anything else. Dude, if he was on a D’Antoni Lakers team, he might break the NBA! With Brian Roberts with a bruised knee, Eric Gordon with an absence of knees, and Austin Rivers with the sniffies, the Pels were without three of their bigger remaining scorers. Looking ahead to tomorrow, the Pelicans get a beignet of a matchup against the former New Orleans Jazz and all three could miss again. So if you need some treys and a little scoring upside in the deeper leagues, it’s that time of year when the scrubs will come out tomorrow! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action: