The Eagles addressed one of the most concerning aspects of
their roster on Monday: the punter. Yes, Philadelphia’s punter carousel
continued with the release of Mat McBriar, who was replaced by former Houston
Texan Donnie Jones, the club’s third new punter in as many years.

While we’re all relieved that the punting situation is in
good hands until the next time it isn’t – training camp is a safe bet – Jones wants
his teammates to know something that we all do already. Punters are not
football players.

Jones can punt the hell out of the ball, as evidenced by his
two second-team All-Pro honors while with the St. Louis Rams in ’08 and ’09,
but he doesn’t get down with all of that other football stuff. You know hitting,
running, getting grass stains on his uniform – those sorts of thing. He said as
much to the Houston media last season when he made a touchdown-saving “tackle” on
Wes Welker against the New England Patriots.

“I told [my teammates], I said,
‘Look, you guys are NFL football players, I’m not.’ So when I get a little
bruise or something, it is what it is. I know my role. But it’s all in good
fun.”

That conversation with reporters back in December prompted
further reminiscing about the time he "hauled" DeSean Jackson out of bounds. Technically it's a tackle. Bet he’ll
tell this one to the grandkids all the time.

“Yeah, I mean I’m not an actual NFL ‘football’
player,” Jones said. “I mean, come on. We know our roles. I had the same type
thing in 2008. I had to push DeSean Jackson out of bounds. Somehow I chased him
down, don’t know how I did it, and I fell and my knee blew up. Every now and
then you get one. We’re punters and kickers. We’re a different breed.”

So even though Donnie Jones is suiting up for his fifth NFL
team in 10 seasons, he’s not a football player you guys – but you already knew
that. Hell, punters aren’t even people, am I right?