James Franco Doesn't Look At People

Hollywood hottie James Franco looks down a lot when talking to reporters, according to a friend of mine in the biz.

The star of the new Rise of the Planet of the Apes and upcoming biopics about gay icons Hart Crane and Sal Mineo, Franco gets a little shy when answering questions and doesn't always make eye contact (though his answers are generally elaborate and articulate).

My friend feels that this is because James has become a bit shell-shocked from everyone in the world staring him down to memorize his face while undressing him with their eyes.

The actor has apparently been affected by all the gay men (and straight women) who routinely burrow into him with their pupils, desperately hoping he'll want to invade their private regions -- or at least look them in the face!

It makes you self-conscious!

So James has built up a wall of privacy while continuing to be a very good public figure.

But I know exactly how to get around this situation.

Next time James gives a press conference, I'm going to lie on the floor right in front of him.

When he looks down, I'll be waving and staring right back up, totally naked.

You're loved, desired, and you work and study like a freakazoid, play gender games with fans and press -- pausing only to publicize all that you're doing -- and then you turn shy, eyes downcast, like a blushing maiden.