Been asked to make a 'donation' for a lesbian couple I know.

OP - tough decision and not one I'd want to have to make. Personally I think I'd say no. When I was young and single I'd have seriously considered it and probably said yes as it seems like a noble thing to do, however now I have kids of my own it would be a definite no.

I don't think I could comprehend not seeing them every day and taking a back seat in their development. It's cliched I know, but they really do change your life and to be permanently apart from them would be unbearable IMO.

I don't think I could comprehend not seeing them every day and taking a back seat in their development.

hmm, interesting side subject here.

Couples plan to have children and there's obviously a very strong emotional bond there.

Other people "accidentally" conceive, there the parents have a moral obligation whether they have any emotional attachment or not.

This is a bit different. If you donated blood or an organ to a stranger would you be taking a keen interest in the rest of their life? After all biologically you are a part of them...

Presumably plenty of "official" anonymous donors have unknown kids out there, do they sit awake at night wondering/worrying about how their kids are being brought up? is there a way of looking at this dispassionately? Should it be viewed dispassionately? Conceiving is just a couple of cells banging into each other, being a parent is a lot more than that and arguably something completely different.

I understand your point D0nk, and agree that everyone is different which is why only the OP can really answer his own question. We planned our kids and dote on them, however until they were born I didn't realise how overwhelming the desire to spend time with them and help to nurture them would be.

Perhaps if I'd been 'donating' things would be different, and if I'd agreed to it I would only have done so assuming I could stay unattached, however knowing what I know now I think my feelings would have changed which would have complicated things and ultimately caused me a lot of pain.

Edit to add: Also the anonymous donor could no doubt be completely dispassionate, however the OP is talking about good friends so he would be anything but anonymous.