Tuesday, July 05, 2005

How the Supreme Court Should Be

It is my opinion that ol' Geroge Dubya should appoint not a person of interllectual greatness or of sound judicial training, but a person with a sound voice for partying, and a flare for the finer thinigs in life. In short I believe I should be considered to replace Sandra Day O'Conor to the Supreme Court. Now pay attention this is important.

The Supreme Court needs a breath of youth in and among its ranks. Seriously how can people my age get a fair hearing about Social Security if everybody on the bench is over 70 YEARS OLD! It is also my opnion that there needs to be Mandatory Margarita Mondays at lunch for the in session supreme court. This will help loosen up the Supreme Court in making decisions that will effect this entire nation. If the founding fathers can write a constitution to sustain a nation for more that 200 years well under the influence of alcohol, then by gollie our 9 justices are deserving of some booze. They should be REQUIRED. Just imagine Reinquist leading a Congo line across the bench without any pants on to hand down decisions from this countries highest court. I sure would feel better about losing if I was so entertained. Why stop there. Why not have Killer Keg Fridays where all of capitol hill can join in the chambers! Dubya can stop in wearing a hawiian shirt for a bit, and Dick Cheney can hold John Kerry's feet for a keg stand! This is bi-partisianship, even TEAMWORK, at its finest. Imagine the unison. "I love you man's" will be heard across the isles, and there will finally be happiness in congress. All of this, if I am appointed to the Supreme Court.

From my perch I will set up the court very closely to that of a game show with leavers that will drop contestents , I mean opposing parties, down into a pit full of plastic balls if I don't like their arguments. Instead of water pitchers at each table there will be pitchers of beer, and waitresses wearing small shorts, waiting on the tables. There will also be an ample supply of peanuts and buffalo wings.

This could greatly help our nation to loosen up about some issues that need to be loosened up about. Not that I am arguing for apathy or passivity, but for a more relaxed attitude when things don't go your way. So, instead of gaining hatred for the other party involved, you can just grab a beer off the table and say "Here's to ya" You will then proceed to get wasted with the opposing party and realize that y'all had more in common than you previously thought, perhaps even use an ADR to solve your issues.

Beauty my fellow Americans, Beauty,And I am not doing much the next few years, just going to law school, no biggie. What not a better place to learn than the Supreme Court? So George W. Bush, I am ready and willing to accept my appointment to the US Supreme Court.