Who Just Saved Western Civilization?

Wow! Iran’s nuclear weapons program was disabled by the most ingenious computer virus I have ever heard of. Read how the virus did it; this is truly amazing. If such a worm appeared in a science fiction or spy story, would you believe it?

I guess this means Doomsday has been postponed for the time being. Remember how it seemed bad when the Russians got the atomic bomb? Then when the Chinese got the bomb, it seemed worse, because the Chinese were willing to sacrifice millions of their own people to defeat the West? And when India and Pakistan got the bomb, it seemed even worse than that, because we figured it wouldn’t take much to incite them to use it? We had a war scare between India and Pakistan in 2002 or 2003, for instance. At the time, Larry the Cable Guy predicted that on his next visit to a 7-11 store, he would see a two-headed guy named Sanjay at the cash register, and a three-armed guy named Mohammed cleaning the hot dog rack, and he would tell them, “You should have stuck to Slurpees!”

Most recently, we have been scared about Iran and North Korea getting the bomb, because they have said openly who the intended targets are, and they aren’t afraid of nuclear annihilation. In the bad old days of the Cold War, Nikita Khrushchev frightened the West by saying, “We will bury you,” but because he did not believe in an afterlife, he would not try to take out New York City if it meant we would retaliate by destroying Moscow. By contrast, today’s terrorists value dying more than living, and are in a hurry to go from this world to the next one. Whereas the MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) doctrine kept the United States and the Soviet Union from using nuclear weapons on each other, MAD won’t work against those who are truly mad.

Of course the Iranians will keep trying try to get the bomb, maybe by buying it from North Korea. We just have a reprieve for now. A future apocalypse is still possible, it just won’t be happening right away, so enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend instead.

The above article said that a virus as sophisticated as Stuxnet (the one that infected the Iranian computers) would have required 10,000 man-hours of programming—a whole nation’s worth of geeks, so the reporters don’t think Israel is responsible. Too many scientists would be needed; currently the main suspects are the United States, Germany or Russia. Oh, I don’t know about that. When it comes to intellectuals per capita, Israel is second to none, and Iran’s threat gives the Jewish state a very good reason to act, especially if it doesn’t look like we’ll do anything. Finally, don’t forget Israel’s secret weapon since 1948; no second chance. The Israelis know more than anyone else how small they are, and how big their opponents are by comparison; if Israel ever lost a battle or war, it would be all over, so they always make sure they do it right the first time.