Monday, March 28, 2011

First of all, I will update a little of the Negative Changes post. K and I did have a little talk the other night. She had read that post and was wondering what was going on in my head. I simply told her that our difficulties had caused me to question things, and although I felt I knew the answers, the questions remained as to whether others might experience what I had expressed. I explained to K that I still wanted to have chastity play as part of our lives. I was able to set her mind at ease, I believe. I did explain that the thoughts had occurred to me and since they had, I supposed I should discuss them with her. The gist of the conversation was simply that I, by my own nature, am not typically a submissive. It is fun play to add it sometimes to our relationship, but I am not easily stepped on. K even smiled one time and said something like, "Don't you think I know, I can't treat you badly and that you are not going to stand for it. You won't stand for being treated with disrespect. You have nothing to worry about." I smiled and replied that I knew that, but I still had to ask. Well….. that all turned out good.

Onward…..

K and I still enjoy nursing as much as possible. Most of the time this will be at least twice a day. Lately though, over the past couple of weeks or so, we have been able to squeeze in more nursing, sometimes with as much as four times in one day. We are doing this as much as possible for two basic reasons: we both LIKE it tremendously (DUH!); and we are trying to promote milk production. I expect we will possibly have a four-times-occurance today. (smile) K continues to give small amounts of milk, maybe a teaspoon per breast per session. No, it is not a lot, but for us, it is very encouraging. We are hoping for more eventually.

I have been locked most of the time lately besides when sleeping at night with K. Usually, I am not locked when K and I have been spending the whole day together. It seems to me though that recently, I have been spending more time locked. This includes having been locked more than usual, even when we are together. Most of the time, if K and I can get together during the day, it will include me being unlocked. This is to allow K to play with her dick while we nurse, mostly because when we DO get together for a few minutes, it is more for the intent of nursing rather than sexual play. I just got through with a set of night shifts at work. We were able to see each other several times regardless. Every time for those few days, I remained locked in Hairclip. It was actually kinda cool. Thinking, I am nursing, spending intimate time with K, several times in several days, and I am not unlocked at all. K would still play with her dick, enjoying how hard I would get, even in Hairclip. She would pull and squeeze my balls with her hands, or put my balls between her legs to squeeze with her knees. This is very intense for me, sometimes bordering on unbearable. K knows very well how much pressure to apply, always stopping just short of crossing the line. We both love this. She loves the way the pain she applies to her balls makes me nurse with more intensity. The more she squeezes my balls, the more I absorb into her breasts, taking her nipple deeper in my mouth, squirming, groaning, grimacing, breathing hard, jumping somewhat. Intense indeed!!!

After those nightshifts, we were very busy. Working day shift, dance lessons, attending a Friday night dance, life in general, every night that we were together, we crashed in bed, going to sleep soon after starting to nurse. In other words, we were not having any sexual fulfillment. Last night that changed, somewhat. We went to bed early enough to get in some good loving. We had lots of nursing, petting, and pleasuring each other. K became very horny and wanted an orgasm. There was one problem though. K's pussy was irritated and itchy. She had put some medicine on it and certainly, I did not need to eat it. K opted for the vibrator. I retrieved it for her and it was not long until she had an orgasm. K accepts vibrator orgasms as a viable alternative, but prefers me to give them to her orally. For this reason, her orgasm was not as powerful as usual, usual being those provided by my tongue! However afterwards, she wanted me. Inside her! YES!!!!! She pulled me on top, massaged her dick to adequate hardness and in I went. Her sounds and movements said that she enjoyed it very much. Well…..I did too! I wasn't too quick either. I lasted a little while, but when I came……WOOHOO!!! It was GOOD!!!!!!

We cuddled up and I nursed as we went to sleep, sweetly.

This morning K left for work duties before I awoke. Sweetly,she did not make me wake up to lock up. Instead, she returned a little later and locked me then. I was already awake by this time, laying in bed doing bill paying online. No, I was a good little boy, a good subbie. I did not take advantage of the situation. I considered it a wonderful courtesy that K had let me sleep undisturbed. I would not abuse that kindness by violating her trust to have an orgasm. Besides, I had just had a terrific one last night. Before and after she locked me, we enjoyed some more nursing, and then she had to go back to work.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Most of us like to think of all the wonderful things we like about chastity. The things we love about it are as widely varied as the guys that participate. When I read online, I see all these thoughts conveyed. I agree. There are lots of things I like about chastity too. The thing I don't read much about is negatives; the cons of chastity.

Hmmmm….

Am I being cynical? Am I disenchanted? Am I ready to quit? No, no, and no. I have been playing the chastity game (or even lifestyle, if you will) for almost a year, with total control and lock-up since….um…..maybe eight months. I get plenty of sex. I get plenty of loving. I get plenty of all the things that are important to me, from K. She is wonderful at meeting my needs, as much as I even do try to meet hers, maybe even better. It is fun, and it is a playfulness that we both enjoy, with all of its' benefits. I don't feel a need to list them all here, right now anyway.

Negatives?

Yeah….

Now, I know that there are the generally basic detriments to wearing a chastity device: edema, discomfort, lack of orgasm (ha!), and on and on. These "detriments" can be worked out or controlled. They have remedies that any couple can resolve easily. Some even prefer these supposed detriments, which actually makes them benefits instead.

The negatives I am referring to are those of relationship and emotional bearing. I do read often where keyholders begin to learn the power of their position, and so, do change. They change into more controlling, dominating women. They enjoy their transformation and the benefits of controlling their mate's orgasms, more and more as time passes. This is all good. This is the desired affect of most couples, especially the men: it is many a man's fantasy to have a dominatrix to make them their sex slave. I confess having somewhat of a fantasy myself. It is just that though, for me, a fantasy. I am not willing to live life that way. Having play sessions, at times, would be fun though.

Okay, so I'll get to the point (wow! the applause is deafening). What happens in the long term? Do keyholders change their outlook on their mate and the relationship in bad ways sometimes? Do the women who embrace the KH position become less appreciative of their men? Do the KHs sometimes begin to look at their man as weak, strange, weird, considering them with less respect? Do they somewhere in their subconsciousness begin to feel a contempt for the man that does not stand up for himself, becoming a wimp in their eyes? Could the locking of a man's tonker (thanks Tom Allen) in a chastity device, promote such attitudes to fester in a KH until she begins to unconsciously demonstrate behaviors indicating these feelings?

They are only questions. I wonder what others have experienced. I am sure it depends on the nature of the individuals involved, of course. It also depends on the interactions of the two, the relationship development, and the mutual respect. There are probably many more factors that could influence this, I am sure. I also wonder how often the men in chastity consider the same questions. When maybe there is difficulty within the relationship, do the men wonder if maybe, because they are participating in chastity, their KH has changed some feelings for the worse, hence treating them with hurtful disrespect?

I do know that I have questioned such things myself. I do realize that all relationships hit bumps. Couples will inherently have disagreements, hurt feelings, and sorrowful times. Does chastity fix this, where these things do not happen anymore. Well, I guess it could, when the man becomes totally submissive and relinquishes complete control, decision making, and power to the KH. I really doubt that there are THAT many men who can do that though. I know that I can't! It is not in my personality; not in my makeup.

K and I have had some hard bumps at times. During that time, it was a thought. Did I address it? No. There was too much emotionally going on at the time. After we got over it, all healed up, the thoughts and questions were no longer important. These things I know:

K and I love each other very much.
We overcome ALL bumps whether hard or soft.
Difficulties actually help us to understand each other better.
We are better after the difficulties.
K does respect me and honors me as an equal in our relationship.
I respect K at least as much.
We both know that I am not weak, weird, strange, or a wimp.
Neither is K.
We have one of the most beautiful relationships of all mankind.
We are HAPPY, and happy with each other.

These things are important to us. I suppose that in the midst of hurt, during difficulty, it is easy to ask the questions to one's self. I guess I should discuss them with K. I already know the answers, but a discussion about them would be beneficial. We have touched on them a little during some good spanking sessions. I do believe that K has not adopted any such "bad" thoughts. So, why do I write this post? Good question. Hmmmmm….. obviously, K and I will have a nice little chat about this one.

Monday, March 21, 2011

I wonder why I never hear negatives about wearing a chastity device. Well, yes, I do read of discomfort and irritations caused by the device itself, But what I am thinking about is more along the line of dissatisfaction or disharmonies. What in the world am I talking about?!!!?

I know that there are many enjoying chastity. I also know that many of those men, are more of the submissive bent. That being the case, I can understand that the some of the men like being treated roughly, or sometimes even meanly. I read often of those who enjoy that sort of thing. Yes, but what about those of us who are NOT into humiliation? What about those of us that do not accept being dominated, demeaned, or treated badly, those of us that maintain the mutual respect and care are important and prerequisite to a solid and trusting relationship?

I am considering the effects of chastity on the man/woman dynamic of our relationship. K and I have been a very loving couple ever since we met. There were several qualities that made me fall in love with K very quickly; qualities that have always been important to me and will always be necessary.

One is touch. I am a man that loves to be touched. K did this from the very first date. We simply fell into a closeness that very night. No, it was not sex. No, our hands did not roam where some might think they shouldn't. We simply held each other. We hugged and kissed,……and touched. The way she wrapped her arms around me, the gentleness of her hands as she did caress me, the way she cuddled up to me, was all wonderful. This is what I like. This is what speaks to me, all the way down to the core of my heart.

Conversation is another quality of K. I am a talker of sorts. No, I am not one of those who must talk incessantly about anything that can pop into my mind. Rather, I really don't talk as much as most. What I mean by "I am a talker" is that when I talk, a lot of the time, it is meaningful. Now, I do lie to do my share of joking around and teasing. No, don't get me wrong. I am not a serious man with a scowl, unable to enjoy general conversation. That has its' place too. What I am really talking about is meaningful conversation. K has the ability to have intellectual and deep discussion. We have talked about many things ranging from abstract, to psychological, to emotional, to educational, to …… on and on. K can converse. She is a brilliant lady. She is well educated, having bachelors, masters, and doctorate degrees. She is actually much more formally educated that I am. I do have a good education, besides what life and experience has taught me, but no, I have no degree: I did not finish college. Regardless, I can hold my own when in and intellectual conversation. I enjoy talking with K. Because we are actually well matched in our conversational skill and intellectual depth, we can discuss anything with ease, learning from each other along the way. I must have that mental stimulation in conversation and K provides for that interaction very well.

Another is safety. Safety? Yes. Safety. I wrote in another Post about the inner child or baby of a man. That child needs to feel safe from emotional harm. Emotional safety. K''s willingness to touch, and the quality of her touch, was one of the things that evoked feelings of safety. Along with that, K being able to converse well and carefully, provided for it too. Only after a few dates, we were having a deep conversation about our pasts, our hurts, our desires, and our sensitivities. Several times K commented that she "got it", she understood how I felt and what I was trying to explain about my own heart. I was careful. I didn't want to say too much. I didn't want to reveal too much of myself. I didn't know if it was okay to open up, being that it was a new relationship and we were still learning our way with each other.

K perceived my reservations. She then held me and ever so sweetly and softly said, "You are safe, Honey." I took me aback. What! I was safe! K is very intuitive, and I was learning this. She "got it". She nailed me. One of the things I needed was safety. Safety to be who I am with her. Safety to be open to her. Safety to show her who I was on the deepest level, in the hidden inner parts of the heart: this is a place that many men will not allow anyone to see, or even know that it exists. I melted. With this simple statement, she had shown me that she understood me and was careful to handle tenderly the things I could show her about myself; as I would over time take, her on tours of those hidden places of my heart.

Those were important things to me then. Now, they are even more important. In the past, I hadn't realized just how important they were. Since I have become familiar with them, I realize that they have been labeled in my mind, giving them identity, making them tangible to my thoughts. The most important of them is safety. I can now evaluate my feelings in a new way. One of the qualities I can attribute to my emotional position is "I feel safe/I don't feel safe." This is powerful. Recognizing this gives the ability to evaluate the way I feel more easily. When I may be upset for some reason, sometimes the end result is that I realize, "I don't feel safe!" This means that I feel "shut down". I feel like I have been insulted or hurt emotionaly and am withdrawing to protect myself because of this lack of safety.

It is the classic "man response" to emotional hurt. This may often be accompanied by anger or that much despised "silent treatment". For me, I rarely get angry, in that I will become greatly agitated with the one I love. I usually keep my anger in check. I do however get quiet. I am not as conversational. I withdraw. It is not a retribution. It is simply my response from deep within. I don't feel safe. I don't feel the connection I had. I had to withdraw from my close place with the one I love because I feel attacked or injured. It is a self-protection mechanism. I hate that place. When I withdraw, I build walls. I once told K that within an instant of injury, it is possible to build a wall 100 feet high, 20 feet thick, reinforced with steel, fiberglass, kevlar, and anything else I can get my mind on, in a matter of five seconds!

Monday, March 14, 2011

I had to work for the past four nights. K came to my house a couple of times and I went to hers a couple. We hate nightshift because it limits our time together a lot. Friday, I had only a little time in the afternoon. The local cable company came to install new internet service and left late. K arrived at the same time he left. Problem was, I only had 25 minutes to get ready for work and spend time with K too. I hurried through my shower and K and quickly laid down on the bed. Nursing was the desire of us both. We had no time for anything else. I was still locked and there was no sense in taking it off. We cuddled up for ten minutes to nurse. It was wonderful. It is a place of peacefulness for us both. After ten minutes, I jumped up, hurriedly got ready for work and left. Rush, rush, rush.

K and I have been enjoying nursing more and more. Part of this is because she is beginning to make milk! Woohoo!!!! We are happy and excited about this. It has been one of our goals since about June of last year. K's breasts are already a nice "D" cup, but with the activity of her starting to make milk, they are seeming to fill out a little and become firmer. NICE! (huge smile) This particular afternoon, I was able to taste more milk than usual. It was evidently dripping slowly into my mouth as I nursed. I am looking forward to the day when it freely flows, squirting from her breasts as it would from a mom nursing her baby. I AM her baby after all, when held there at her breasts, cradled in her arms, nursing.

Later, K and I "talked" via texting. K had driven 30 minutes to my house and 30 minutes back to hers, all for 10 minutes of nursing. I have done the same kind of thing in order to see her too, driving a lot to see her only for a few minutes. We enjoy each other's company that much, even after over a year of being so romantically involved. It is worth it, to us. Nursing makes it even more worth it.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Tuesday night, we had dance lessons. K and I met at the studio and enjoyed the lesson. We have being studying ballroom for several months now. When the lesson was nearly over, K took me by the neck and jokingly said that it was one way to lead in dance. We all laughed and I commented, "I like that. I'm done with dance now. Let's go home. I've got other things in mind for that!" Everyone present laughed. Ha! If they only knew!

Earlier in the day, K has told me that she wanted an orgasm tonight. She didn't want any fireplace and wine. It has put her to sleep Monday night. None of that tonight. She wanted an orgasm and she didn't want ANYTHING to hinder that.

Arriving at K's house we got ready for bed. One of the first things to happen was K unlocked her dick. K collared and leashed me with the robe tie again and led me to bed (I love it). We nursed, loved and cuddled. And,……..

We fell asleep!

Again, we were soooo tired.

Wednesday morning, K woke me up, loving on me. She got up and let the dog out and came back to bed. She started rubbing all of me, stopping sometimes at her dick and balls. Needless to say, I got very hard. After a trip to the bathroom for urinary relief, I returned to her. I started at her neck and began kissing, moved to her breasts and nursed and soon K was pushing me to her pussy.

K was hot. K was horny. She moved me to her pussy slowly. I teased her a little by not going quickly, but rather, stopping along the way to kiss and caress. Finally, arriving at her pussy, I kissed and rubbed my cheek along the insides of her legs, and pussy lips. There is a spot that I love there on her body. It is the curve of her leg where it transitions to her pussy lips. It is a little hollowed place and presents such a sexy curve, that I love to spend time there kissing and licking. Next I moved directly to her pussy. She tasted so good and smelled wonderful. K was ready. It was not long until K had an orgasm. She later commented that it was a good one.

Being in subbie mode now for the next four weeks, I didn't know when I would get my next orgasm. After the events of Monday night, with my first deliberate denial, I didn't know if maybe K had a plan in mind for long-term denial, at least longer than I've previously experienced. Previous experiences were simply from being locked up and not able to have sex due to work schedules, and life interferences. These are not so much deliberate as they are unavoidable. Now, in subbie mode, the thought of course has occurred to me that I might not get an orgasm for four weeks, thinking that K might want to actually experience what I might be like in a longer term denial period. That is fraught with various emotions, anxiety for not being able to come for that long, happy that K would take that kind of control, wondering if it would have good effects on my demeanor, thrill of the fantasy aspects, concern that I might not like it, and on and on. Regardless, a promise is a promise. I am committed. My word is my bond. I am willing to do and perform whatever K should desire. Even if it were to be 24/7, four weeks, of lock-up and denial, I'm going the distance as her subbie. I'm sure of one thing. I will have enjoyment with K in one way or another. K simply likes lovemaking too much to do with out. Whether or not that means ORGASMS for me may be another story.

So, K just had her orgasm. She wanted more. I asked her if she wanted another orgasm. No. She wanted me. Hello!???!! I said……She wanted ME!!!!! She pulled me to her. She pulled me into position for entering. She said, "No! I want you. I want YOU!" She said this as I slid into her. AHHHH…so good! So wet. So warm. So tight. So engorged. So wonderful! We made love there, but shortly, K wanted me to enter from behind and rolled over onto her knees. I entered her pussy there and made love to her more. Then old age kicked in!!!! Yep, I lost it. I wilted. Grrrrr! I wanted this orgasm. It had been five days since my last and I wanted this one, dammit. I went and got some viagra and quickly came back to bed. I knew that on an empty stomach, it would not take long to recover. Laying there, loving, with in ten minutes, things started happening. I got my erection back. K decided to get on top and ride me. And, she did.

She rolled me to my back and climbed on. She directed her cock into her still wanting pussy and began to move up and down. Now, of course, I love this position. I get to see her fantastic figure. I get to caress her breasts. I get to hold her in in any manner I please. I can hold her by the neck as she is riding me (K likes this!)!! I caress her and do all the above. K takes me by the neck too (which I love too) and rides me orgasm. It was good. Now, I must admit that it was not an over the top orgasm this time, but as all men know, there is no such thing as a bad one. After the height of passion was complete, we cuddled. K then said she had to get up for work. I went to sleep soundly.

As K was finishing readying for work, she came and woke me. "Where is Kali?" I told her it was in the car. She went to get the black bag that all our toys are in. She gave me hairclip and said I needed to put it on. I asked what happened to Kali. She said that because I was still sleeping, she would use Hairclip instead. Isn't she so sweet. K knows I don't sleep well in Kali. Locked in Hairclip, We kissed good bye.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

K and I got back from our trip Sunday night. It was a little late, I had to unpack, and get to bed: I had to get up at 4:15am to get ready for work the next morning. We crashed at my house, cuddling up to nurse to sleep.

Monday, during the daily grind, I had time to text with K some. We discussed my gift of being her "subbie" for two weeks or a month. The end result was that she could start over with it, starting Monday for a fresh four weeks. This was in part due to our lives having been too busy to really even take advantage of it. So it's official, I am a subbie until April 4th.

I got home from work and made a quick trip to the gym for a workout. I was back home at 7:30pm and K was there soon after. Since the weather had cooled some, we enjoyed dinner (sushi and wine) in front of the fireplace. We then started a little loving. K took the tie from my robe and collared me with it, which provides a leash also. She led me to the fireplace area, where we had an air mattress already ready on the floor. She laid down on the mattress and pulled me to her. We cuddled, caressed, and kissed different parts of each other. She pulled me toward her breasts, making me stop short by a few inches, took one in hand and teased me with it, not letting me touch, lick, or suck it. I was crazy with desire, stopped short, only able to look at her wonderful breasts. She then gently took me to her breast and nursed me for a short while.

Next she started moving me to her pussy, slowly, stopping me along the way to pay attention to places along away. At her pussy, I began to lick and suck her clit. K then changed positions, rolling me to my back and getting on top and putting her pussy in my face. I ate her pussy there for a little bit. I was sure I would be allowed to bring her to orgasm at this position. K stopped.

She got up and put me on my knees, bending over the mattress, and told me to stay there. She retrieved her paddle and started spanking me. K started lightly and slowly, warming me up. After I was nicely pink, she started in a little harder and faster. It was starting to warm up pretty good. K then stopped and loved on me some, caressing me and my ass. Next, some more whacks. Then stopping she caressed me some more. She then moved between my legs and played with her dick and balls. Mind you, I am still locked in Hairclip. She fondled them, teased them, licked them, and sucked them. We BOTH like that. She spanked me one more time, much harder, until I was collapsed on the mattress, whining for the intensity. Again she stopped and I got back on my knees as before and she loved on me again, giving me the pleasant ball treatment, caressing my ass, back, and chest. She moved on top of me laying on me, rubbing her pussy on my back and ass. I felt her warmth. I felt her wet pussy lips pressing to me. I felt her breasts brushing across me. It was all good.

I then made request to use the new whip I had bought for her. It was a leather cat o' nine. I had bought it off of Amazon.com. It was only $7.60, shipping included. What a bargain. K obliged me and started to swing it carefully, since we had not as of yet used this one. She started lightly, gradually increasing force, as I indicated to her if it was okay or not. Soon she was making it whoosh through the air like a pro. It was stinging pretty good and I was too wrapped up in the sensation to indicate whether I could take more or not. K continued. She built intensity slowly from there. This all did not last long. K inspected my ass and said that it was nicely red and had a few light whelps. She then motioned for me to get up and we were heading for th bedroom. Asking me what I thought of the whip, I said that it was interesting and good. I also said that she was light with it, that she didn't really do that much. She said, "Really??? Come here!", as she pulled on the leash.

K took me to the couch and said, "Bend over there. I show what I can do. Let's see if you think this is light. Let's see if you think I can do more or not!" I bent over the couch, still standing (like a good little subbie). She began again with the whip. Harder this time. Then harder. And harder. It was singing pretty good. It was STINGING pretty good too. She was working on it. I started to whine a little. She stopped to inspect my as again and said that I was whelped pretty good. "Now, how was that?" she asked. I said that it was much more intense and rubbed my ass, both soothing the stinging and feeling for how much the whelps were evident. She chuckled and we went to the bedroom. K unlocked me and we cleaned up a bit got in bed.

While in bed, I commented to her that I was surprised that she didn't want to finish getting her orgasm. She replied, "Who said I wasn't?"

I said, "Oh, okay." K then pulled me to her breasts and I nursed. That's the last thing we remember. We fell asleep quickly, still tired from the trip.

It was a good night. We had good sushi by the fireplace. I got to be her collared subbie. We had some good lovemaking, sans orgasms. We had a spanking/whipping session. We nursed to sleep with me being very horny and denied. I believe this is the first time I have ever been actually denied deliberately. Wow! That was an experience.

Tuesday morning, I inspected my ass. No apparent damage. No apparent markings from the fun the night before. No presence of sensation left from it all. Apparently, I was unscathed.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

We had a fun time Monday. I am on vacation and have been enjoying the time off and relaxation. We had spent the night at K's house and slept in that morning. When I awoke, K was already up and not in the bedroom. I crawled out of bed and went to find her. She was in the living room doing some of her paperwork for her occupation. I came in, kissed,IOnd hugged her good morning. We enjoyed coffee and K finished up her papers. Meanwhile, I got out my laptop and started doing a little writing on the previous postings I've done.

As I relaxed on the couch writing, K got dressed and ready to leave for work. She informed me that I needed to get locked up. I teased her by whining that I was on vacation and that I should get a break from locking too. She said, "No, you need to lock it up," and pulled out Kali. She then locked Kali on her dick for safe keeping, kissed me goodbye and left. I remained on the couch, typing away. I had a lot to write and was going to be there a while. The writing juices were flowing.

After about an hour K returned from work to stop in for a few minutes. Sometimes she gets to do that, depending on where her job duties have demanded her attention. She came in and found me there on the couch. I was still in my robe. K came to me as I reclined there and started to play. She kissed me passionately. I mean PASSIONATELY!!!!…..using lots of tongue. WOW! She hadn't kissed me like that in a while. I could feel the passion, at the same time feeling a little tease. She then moved to my nipples. She sucked on them hard, giving me lots of strong sensations that make me squirm and my toes curl. (Did I mention that I had put down the laptop!) She moved farther down slowly, kissing and caressing, teasing. By now, her dick was painfully attempting full alertness! I groaned in the ecstasy of it all.

She made her way all the way down to her dick. She then began to fondle balls and caressing her dick. Oh My Goodness. It felt so good. I was enjoying it all. (Did I mention I was wearing Kali! You can refer to the pictures at the bottom of the page if you are not familiar with the name.) Kali was NOT liking all the attention K's dick was receiving. The dick loved it, Kali did not! The more the dick loved it, the angrier Kali got. As K's dick stood up to attention, acknowledging the caresses K was giving it, Kali bit in. The spikes of Kali are rounded somewhat, so as not to cause any piercing damage. However, Kali can hurt like hell. I began to squirm a little. I was enjoying everything K was doing. It felt so good. K then began to suck on her dick. DAAAAAMN! THAT FELT GOOD!

As K sucked, licked and caressed, her dick became more and more hard, becoming more and more painful, as Kali bit harder and harder. Those teeth of Kali were getting almost unbearable. K continued. It continued to feel better and better. Harder and harder! Biting harder and harder. And so the vicious cycle continued. As it did, I moaned louder and louder. I did not want K to stop, at the same time, barely being able to stand the "torment". When it becomes intense, I cannot even hardly move because of the pain. With any move of my legs or hips, it causes muscles and blood flow in K's dick to change. This causes flexing of tissue in the dick. This is excruciating. The "problem" is that every time K licks, squeezes, or sucks, it causes the same effect, or worse; worse being that it causes somewhat involuntary contractions of DICK muscles. These contractions are the most painful of all. At times I will even some what scream for the pain, though not at my full volume scream.

During the whole time of tease that K is doing, I am at varying degrees of pain, the most being when she sucks harder on her dick, which pulls more blood flow in, which in turns causes an increase in penile size and hardness. At one point, I was reduced to a whispering whimper, breathing fast, trying to compensate for the pain. I could not fend her off if I had too. I pleaded softly for her to stop! It was all I could muster. She continued!!! It was WONDERFUL!!!!! I wondered if there would actually be holes pierced throughout the skin, regardless of the teeth of Kali being dulled.

K continued to tease, sucking, stroking her dick, sometimes taking her balls in hand, pulling and squeezing them too. It was truly fantastic. I had never experienced anything this extremely intensely pleasurable, yet so painful at the same time. The pain had two effects: I loved it, being very erotic, yet it was terribly painful, which of course, as stated before, hurt like hell! Add to that the wonderful loving K was doing to me with all the soft and firm attentions to her dick, it was an exquisite, over the top, indescribable pleasure/pain, paradoxical experience! This continued for maybe 30 minutes, I lost all association with time. K finally eased off, reaching for her keys, she unlocked Kali from her dick.

K took her dick and loved on it. She kissed it and inspected it for just how much damage may have been done. Hmmmm…..There was a comment that it looked somewhat like a colander!!! HA! She loved on it a little more and then took me to the bedroom. K was horny. "Tormenting" me by teasing her dick while wearing Kali really turns her on. Of COURSE I was horny too. It was all pleasure. When we arrived at the bed, we laid down and K moved me to her pussy, and it wasn't her dick she wanted at the moment! She wanted me to EAT her pussy. I was happy to oblige. Being locked in Kali and being teased like that, makes me so horny. Even more than that though, it creates huge desire in me to eat her pussy. It is more important to me than being in her, than my own orgasm. It's all I want. I want to taste her pussy juices, to smell her, to feel her wetness on my face and her pussy lips pressed to my lips. Oh Yes!!! I gladly went down. I was not disappointed. She was wet. She smelled good, having the aromas of being turned on, hot and horny. And, so I ate. Ahhhh…. so good.

And K came!!!!!!!

By all appearances, it was a good one for her. I loved it.

Immediately, K wanted her dick. I was happy to oblige that desire (big smile). I entered her. I did not last long, of course. I have said this before, but this was one of the best, best, best orgasms of my life. Powerful. It was one of those loud, strong, growling, grunting, moaning, draining orgasms. K had built me up for one of the most powerful of my life. My eyes rolled back in my head, and my heart stopped for about 15 beats. My jaw dropped to the bed, while I was still upright on my knees!!! My toes curled so hard that I could feel them scratch the back of my head!!!

Yep, It was GOOOOD!!!

K locked me back up and left to do more of her work.

I reclined on the couch and smiled. I typed more, and smiled. I reflected and smiled. I smiled. I eventually left her house and smiled. I smiled the rest of the day. And night.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

K and I are on a trip into Kentucky to see her family. Traveling, talking, visiting with her relatives, we are enjoying the trip. Being so busy, it has not allowed for having time for posting anything new. I have a good story to tell, but it will be later before I have the time to put it together. K is keeping me locked some of the time while on the trip, which is unusual. Most of the time when we are together, I am usually unlocked.

We arrived at our destination last night. K and I have not had much time for sex, but have maintained our nursing anyway. Last night, we MADE time. It was late and we were tired from the travel. We went to bed at midnight. We nursed, I ate her pussy to her having a good orgasm, had sex with me having a great orgasm, and cuddled up, me nursing, went to sleep. Ahhh… sweet rest.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

K and I went to a Mardi Gras parade, went out to eat and were home about 9:30pm. We went to the bathroom and freshened up. Or course, this included getting naked and comfortable in house robes. While washing at the sink, still totally naked, K brought the paddle and lightly spanked my ass, causing it to only slightly sting. When we were both ready and in our robes, K then motioned for me to come closer. She took the waste tie from my robe and tied it around my neck to form a collar and leash. YES!!!! I have wanted her to do this to me. I had confessed in an Earlier Posting that I have had a fetish for being collared. She leaned over and took the paddle in hand and led me to the living room. There, she motioned for me to get on my knees and then to bend over, laying on the big ottoman. She then lifted my robe over my back and started to spank me lightly again.

This was going to be a different spanking session from any previous, I could tell. We had both already learned so much in our previous sessions. This time K warmed me up some. She took it easy on me at first, spanking lightly as I lay there on the ottoman. Ah yes, it was good. After my ass was nicely pinkish red, she began to swing a little harder. These stung pretty good. We had been playing a game for the past few days. I am always teasing K that my dick is so small, often times holding up my fingers about two inches apart, indicating how pitifully small I am. (feel free to reference pictures below to see for yourself and make your own judgements.) K now has been telling me, every time I make such a tease, that it is now ten more swats added in the next spanking session. This has accumulated to 40 or 50: I lost track.

When she begins to give me the harder swats, she tells me to start counting them for her. I chuckle and begin. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! She then stopped, laid down the paddle and began loving on me, but not in a sexy erotic way. It was in a caring, loving, care-taking way. It was so sweet. She told me that it was all okay, that it was good to get spanked, that she loved me very much, that I needed this spanking. You see, I told her previously that I needed her to tell me it was okay, that I should cry, that I needed to let go, that I needed to break down my walls and let out the pain accumulated over years. I had told her that I needed her to encourage me to cry, and to make me know that I was "safe". Being safe is a special thing for us. It means that we are safe to share ourselves deeply without being judged, demeaned, or looked down upon. It is an important place to be, to be safe, to know that you can show who you really are, deep inside. K and I have used "safe" terminology ever since we met. It is one thing that we "get" about each other.

After K loved and assured me, she resumed spanking. Another several swats and she again loved on me and comforted me. It was working. I was feeling the emotional walls come down. This continued until about 50 had been counted. She then again comforted me, loving me, caressing my red ass (smile). Many of the swats had been strong. They had left their "presence". I would feel them for a while. K did such a good job with it all, spanking and loving me the whole time. At no time did it feel like punishment or anger. It ALL felt like love. During it all, I could feel the sense of weeping coming up in me. K did not comment about that, but I'm sure she could sense it in my voice as I counted the swats, getting more soft in my voice, more humble, and more emotional. Now she quit.

K motioned for me to get up with a soft tug on my collar. Standing, we held each other, my heart melting as we embraced in such an emotional state of love. It was exquisite. Using the bathroom and talking, K said she wanted a turn. She had previously mentioned that she might like being spanked too. I said, "Now?" She said yes. I took her to the ottoman and motioned for her to kneel and loved on her as she bent over. I raised her rob and caressed her ass. I cuddled beside her as she lay there on the ottoman. I talked softly to her, telling her that she needed to be spanked too. She needed me to show her love in this way too. I told her that I was going to spank her now and show her that I love her so very much. To each thing I told her, she became humble and nodded, affirming that she did indeed desire and need to be spanked too.

I started softly. I am a strong guy. Unfortunately, I do not know my own strength. I told K that I was going to be careful, starting very softly, and build from there, asking her for feedback, not wanting to overdo it. She nodded. With each increase in force, I asked her how it was. Finally, at a point sufficient, she said that it was hard enough. Often times, I came to her, laying down the paddle, and showed her my love. I caressed her butt, soothing the stinging pain, telling her how much I loved her, that she was safe, that she was okay, that it was all okay. She took it all in. She accepted my love. She accepted the spanking, apparently enjoying it. After a little bit, with her ass nicely pink, she said it was enough. I took her into my arms and loved on her more.

K then had to go take care of some clothes in the washer. When she returned, I had laid back over the ottoman. She came to me and asked sweetly, "Do you need some more, Sweetheart?" I nodded yes. She said, "Awwww…okay." She got the paddle and began again to spank me. I needed it. She knew it. She spanked hard, my ass already being warmed up properly. She resumed the same routine, spanking, loving, back and forth. She added to it, also telling me I was safe. It was all I needed, and all I needed to hear. I started to cry. She spanked a little more, talking to me softly, telling me it was all okay. I crumbled. I wept sweetly there on the ottoman while she came to me, caressing me, loving me, telling me to let it all out. I cried there in her arms, weeping, soaking up her love. After crying there with her, we moved to the bedroom.

We made passionate love. We were now both ready and primed for over-the-top love making. And it was. We nursed. I ate her pussy to a most excellent orgasm. We caressed and kissed. I entered her pussy and we made love WHILE we had sex! I had a most excellent orgasm myself!!! It was wonderful, sharing passion with each other. Afterward, we cleaned up again and cuddled up for the night, with me nursing sweetly at her breasts. We nicely, closely drifted to sleep.