Global Domination

Thursday, April 22

I feel like I have to post something now... I have readers. It's official. Sometimes that scares me, sometimes I ignore it. Mainly the latter. What's the use of wondrin'?... uh oh... I just quoted (quoth) Rodgers and Hammerstein - that's not right...

...but I'm somewhat musical obsessed at the moment. This may be something to do with the fact that I've spent the last three nights locked in my dining room with my colleague rehearsing a musical show about two guys locked in my dining room. If I made a musical about my life, it would get very weird.

My view of the world is somewhat warped at the moment. I've been crossing all sorts of lines that I never expected to cross. I did my 100th gig as a stand-up a few days ago. I've agreed a contract for a large sum of money to organise a Fringe show. I've found myself in... er... predicaments of compromise (I'm not saying here - people read this) that I would never have believed of myself.

I should point out that my behaviour is entirely innocent. I'm not some sort of predatory sex-beast. Far from it. There's no time. (Like that's the reason I'm still single after 2 years...) I should assure everyone (including myself, reading this one day, retrospectively while in the future, that my intentions remain entirely honourable (more's the pity) and I am unsullied by human touch. What I was doing in the Ann Summers shop the other day is just a simple misunderstanding. All (well, hopefully not all - I have to work on suitable support) will become apparent on May 8th.

So looking back, I've not too much to talk about - it's all been much the same thing - sandwiches, rehearsals and scraps of paper as I frantically try to pull this production together. I think we're pretty much there. I'm one Amazon order and some fishing line away from my set being complete. Looking forward, it's much of the same. Tomorrow I'm off to Scotland for a one-night-stand (gig) in North Berwick. The weekend is all rehearsals and maybe I'll mow the lawn if the weather's up to it. I will probably sleep in and miss out. Erm... and that's it.

Looking further forward, it looks like I'm in London 3 times next month. Indeed, May looks to be a fairly frantic month, and I doubt it's going to get any easier. I hope that some of this frantic behaviour makes me expend a bit more energy than normal and deprives me of time to eat AND steers me away from the sort of food which I should be avoiding. Then perhaps I'll lose weight, so I can look good in my... er... costume.