Family Financial Planners Holyoke MA

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Marital Bli$$: Eight Money Management Tips to Help You Stop the Fighting and Start the Uniting

Your W-2s have arrived and with them comes the annual marital tension. The two of you made a decent income in 2007 but, once again, there's little to show for it. If you're the "saver" in the marriage, you're glowering at your new-car-buying, Starbucks-swilling, iTunes downloading spouse. If you're the "spendthrift," you're deflecting her righteous indignation with a defensive "What? I'm not allowed to have any fun?"

Yes, this time of year is always rife with money conflicts and regrets-but financial counselor Eric Tyson says it doesn't have to be this way.

"Why not make this the year that you have a frank discussion about the money issues in your marriage?" suggests Tyson, author of the new book Let's Get Real About Money! Profit from the Habits of the Best Personal Finance Managers (FT Press, December 2007, ISBN-10: 0-1323416-1-1, ISBN-13: 978-0-1323416-1-5, $19.99). "For most couples, those insufficient funds are often a result of poor communication skills and other personal problems that result in difficulty handling money. If you don't address these issues head-on, you'll never get a handle on your money."

One problem that plagues modern day marriages is a tendency for the two individuals within a married couple to give in to "me" thinking instead of buying into the "we" thinking that should come when you join your life with someone else's. This phenomenon can lead to selfish overspending practices or, on the other end of the spectrum, secret money stashing.

"I've been surprised over the years by how many people have stashes of money hidden from their spouses," notes Tyson. "Stashing money isn't any healthier than regularly blowing your paycheck and leaving your spouse to pay all the bills. Likewise, if both of you have the same unhealthy spending patterns-say, spending every dollar or hoarding every dollar-you're headed for trouble and unhappiness. Finding financial stability within a marriage is all about balance."

The old cliché is true. While opportunities for conflict abound in marriage, from child rearing to sex to recapping the toothpaste, money issues can set off some of the largest fireworks (and produce plenty of smoldering hot spots just under the surface). Here's Tyson's advice that will help solve your money problems now:

Start talking about money now. Most people are raised to believe that it's impolite and inappropriate to discuss money with others, and are taught that it's a private, personal, and confidential matter. The result is that most couples never seriously talk about money. While dating, they are in denial about the importance of all things financial, even though it's a huge issue looming on the horizon.

"If you avoided talking about money while you were dating-and chances are you did-don't kee...

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