Ohana

Summary:

When Nick Fury sends the team of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Captain America and the Winter Soldier - on a mission to Hawaii, no one is expecting the unlikely partnership of the ex-Fist of Hydra and ... Experiment 626? Or a little matchmaker named Lilo.

28Mar18 - Chapter 11, One True Ohana, is posted!

Notes:

No, I don't need another WIP, but during a Tumblr conversation with TheKASKProject-Art, the idea for this story was born. It just sort of grew out of a mutual admiration society conversation - TheKaskProject's art gives me life, I give encouragement and nonsense. Then there was a Stitch gif. Then we started talking about Nick Fury and Cobra Bubbles. And then there was talk of 10,000 words of Steve/Bucky and Lilo and Stitch and then ... this happened.

Chapter Text

“Who can have a problem with Hawaii? Unless you’re sendin’
us to the top of a fuckin’ volcano and you expect Spangle Drawers over there to
take a flyin’ leap into the lava.”

“Buck,” the Spangle-Drawered one admonished with a fond arch
of his eyebrow.

“No volcanoes, no lava. Got a situation. Needs a delicate
touch.”

Bucky snorted. “And yer sendin’ us? Him?”

“Buck!” Spangles cried, scandalized.

Fury lifted his one good eyebrow and stared balefully at
Bucky. At least, Bucky thought it was baleful – it was hard to tell with only
one eye to go by. “Think you’re funny, Barnes?”

“Funnier than him,” he hooked a thumb toward the
frowning face of tall, blond, and spangled.

“Buck,” he who was spangled growled, crossing tree-trunk sized
arms across his America-the-Beautiful chest.

“See what I mean?”

“Buck …” the one previously known as Star Spangled Man with
a Plan warned in his “Captain America is disappointed in you”TM
voice, eyebrows furrowed and lower lip stuck out like he was gonna break out
the pouts any second now. Bucky resolutely ignored the twitch he felt in his
shorts right about then. It was something he was sadly accustomed to now after
years back living with Blond, Buff, and Blind over there.

“Yeah, keep thinkin’ that, Barnes. Wouldn’t book your
comedy tour just yet. But here are your tickets for Honolulu. Plan at least
two weeks. You’ll do a puddle jumper to the big island, see where the mission
leads you. You’ll have a SHIELD agent who’ll help you arrange transport if you
need to move around the islands. He’s my eyes and ears on the ground, so don’t
fuck this up. Wheels up oh-eight-thirty. Think you can get your leather-clad
ass in gear enough to meet that plane? And his star-spangled butt?” Fury
hooked a thumb toward where the object of Bucky’s every secret wet dream did
not glance surreptitiously toward his own ass.

“Yeah, what the fuck,” Bucky capitulated, snatching the
tickets from Fury’s hand. Hey, not bad – first class on a non-stop on a
brand-name airline. Could be a whole helluva lot worse. Could be a cargo
flight dropping off supplies at every Podunk SHIELD base in the heartland. But
there were some details missing. “Hotel? Car? Per diem?”

Bucky would sneer at the sheer cheesiness of it, if he weren’t
so focused on keeping the aforementioned twitching under control and under the
radar.

Again with the possibly baleful eyebrow! Fury leaned back
in his chair, and prompted, “Yes, Captain?”

“Mission brief?”

“Hill’ll upload it to your tablets so you can review en
route. Now if you gentlemen – and I use that term beyond loosely – will excuse
me, I’ve got an agency to run.”

With patriotic eagerness, his Spangleness practically
tripped over his own feet on his way out the door to get the goods from Hill.
As Bucky followed at a more sedate pace – due to see above – Nick called out to
him.

“And Barnes? Next time, leave the friggin’ squirrel out of
your goddamn pants. Or take care of it before you come into my office.
Goddamn it, son, there are some things a man can’t unsee, even if he’s got only
one good eye.”

Technically, Bucky should feel embarrassed, but honestly, he
really didn’t have any fucks to give in this situation. Instead, he grinned
ferally at Fury and asked, “Have you seen him, sir?”

Fury snorted. Heterosexual or not, anyone who saw Steve “Captain
America is done with your shit” Rogers had to admit the boy was a walking
fantasy. “Have you told him how you feel, Barnes?”

Well, that was just playing dirty. “Um, no.”

“Yeah, might wanna think about doin’ somethin’ about that.
You’ll have at least ten hours in the air on the first leg to contemplate his
navel, or any other goddamn body part that does it for you, Barnes. I’m sick
of your pinin’ white ass draggin’ around my agency. Get it together, man – you’re
supposed to be a world class assassin, for fuck’s sake. Friggin’ stop acting
like a lovestruck tween and go get your man.”

Oh shit. Even Fury shipped them.

Yeah, Buck was gonna have to figure this out. Or maybe that
lava spewing volcano was looking better by the moment. If you’re gonna go, go
spectacularly. And it would be a change from trains, snow, and Hydra. He
wondered if SHIELD had the technology to activate a dormant volcano as he
nodded and backed out of Fury’s office, practically tripping over the primary
donor to his spank bank on his way out the door.

“Got the intel and the rest of our arrangements, Buck. Let’s
go get packed. I’ve never been to Hawaii – I wonder if we’ll have time to
visit the Pearl Harbor Memorial …”

Maria Hill let her eyes rid up from Bucky’s kneecaps to his
face and back down again, letting a sly, knowing grin bloom on her face. “Have
fun, fellas. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or if you do, make sure you
eliminate all witnesses and erase all evidence,” she called as she pivoted
smartly on her heel and strode back into her office. A last glance over her
shoulder at Bucky told him he’d been made by Fury’s second in command, too.
And as agents glanced up from their desks as they exited the floor, Bucky had
to wonder if there wasn’t an office pool going on the pair of them hooking up.

As if.

And he wished.

Didn’t anyone know that Captain “I’m just a kid from
Brooklyn” America was straighter than a straight edge?

“I think I’d better get some swim trunks – whaddya think,
Buck? Maybe we can learn to surf in between whatever it is we’re gonna be
doing …”

Resisting the urge to facepalm into his metal hand – which nearly
always gave him a concussion because he wasn’t fucking paying enough attention slamming
a registered weapon into his forehead – Bucky just shook his head and followed that
little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. And
whose ass looked great in spandex.

Steve, in board shorts? Naked chest covered in droplets of
seawater, hanging ten on a board catchin’ the waves?