On this day, the Lord's messengers arrived in the form of two Texas pastors, Tom Schlueter of Arlington and Bob Long of San Marcos, who called on Perry in the governor's office inside the state Capitol. Schlueter and Long both oversee small congregations, but they are more than just pastors. They consider themselves modern-day apostles and prophets, blessed with the same gifts as Old Testament prophets or New Testament apostles.

The short version is that they’re utter frauds, then. Because all those fairy tales are so much garbage.

Oh yeah, because Texas is mentioned by name in their book! Oh, waitaminnit…no it isn’t.

A chain of powerful prophecies had proclaimed that Texas was "The Prophet State," anointed by God to lead the United States into revival and Godly government. And the governor would have a special role.

(Point at head, whistle while rotating index finger)

The day before the meeting, Schlueter had received a prophetic message from Chuck Pierce, an influential prophet from Denton, Texas. God had apparently commanded Schlueter - through Pierce - to "pray by lifting the hand of the one I show you that is in the place of civil rule."

Con man or crazy? You decide.

Schlueter had prayed before his congregation: "Lord Jesus I bring to you today Gov. Perry.... I am just bringing you his hand and I pray Lord that he will grasp ahold of it. For if he does you will use him mightily.”

A lot of people are being used – but not by their imaginary sky daddy.

And grasp ahold the governor did. At the end of their meeting, Perry asked the two pastors to pray over him. As the pastors would later recount, the Lord spoke prophetically as Schlueter laid his hands on Perry, their heads bowed before a painting of the Battle of the Alamo. Schlueter "declared over [Perry] that there was a leadership role beyond Texas and that Texas had a role beyond what people understand," Long later told his congregation.

It may be unconstitutional, but my opinion is that any politician that has people ‘pray’ over them should be in mandatory retirement. Immediately.

So you have to wonder: Is Rick Perry God's man for president?

No, he’s a religious puppet with a hand up his ass.

Schlueter, Long and other prayer warriors in a little-known but increasingly influential movement at the periphery of American Christianity seem to think so.

Wait – ‘prayer warriors’? Are you effin’ kiddin’ me?

The movement is called the New Apostolic Reformation. Believers fashion themselves modern-day prophets and apostles. They have taken Pentecostalism, with its emphasis on ecstatic worship and the supernatural, and given it an adrenaline shot.

More like smoking crack.

The movement's top prophets and apostles believe they have a direct line to God.

So…they’re phoning it in? Ordering pizza? Be serious.

Through them, they say, He communicates specific instructions and warnings.

And it all sounds suspiciously like what they want.

When mankind fails to heed the prophecies, the results can be catastrophic: earthquakes in Japan, terrorist attacks in New York, and economic collapse. On the other hand, they believe their God-given decrees have ended mad cow disease in Germany and produced rain in drought-stricken Texas.

Which of course they have zero evidence to back it up with.

Their beliefs can tend toward the bizarre.

All supernatural beliefs are bizarre.

Some consider Freemasonry a "demonic stronghold" tantamount to witchcraft.

Another thing besides prayer that fails.

The Democratic Party, one prominent member believes, is controlled by Jezebel and three lesser demons.

And of course, since our culture has been brainwashed to accept this horseshit, nobody points out that these cats are mentally deranged.

They've taken biblical literalism to an extreme. In Texas, they engage in elaborate ceremonies involving branding irons, plumb lines and stakes inscribed with biblical passages driven into the earth of every Texas county.

That actually sounds Druidic.

If they simply professed unusual beliefs, movement leaders wouldn't be remarkable. But what makes the New Apostolic Reformation movement so potent is its growing fascination with infiltrating politics and government. The new prophets and apostles believe Christians - certain Christians - are destined to not just take "dominion" over government, but stealthily climb to the commanding heights of what they term the "Seven Mountains" of society, including the media and the arts and entertainment world. They believe they're intended to lord over it all. As a first step, they're leading an "army of God" to commandeer civilian government.

If they’re going to do it via ‘prayer warriors’, well then…they don’t have a prayer (entendre intended).

In all the media attention surrounding Perry's flirtation with a run for the presidency, the governor's budding relationship with the leaders of the New Apostolic Reformation movement has largely escaped notice.

Of course it has. That ridiculous adage about not discussing politics or religion at the dinner table – or anywhere else.

But perhaps not for long. Perry has given self-proclaimed prophets and apostles leading roles in The Response, a much-publicized Christians-only prayer rally that Perry is organizing at Houston's Reliant Stadium on Aug. 6.

Glad I missed that collection of crazy.

The Response has engendered widespread criticism of its deliberate blurring of church and state and for the involvement of the American Family Association, labeled a "hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center for its leadership's homophobic and anti-Muslim statements. But it's the involvement of New Apostolic leaders that's more telling about Perry's convictions and campaign strategy.

As we have seen, love is the excuse for their hate.

Eight members of The Response "leadership team" are affiliated with the New Apostolic Reformation movement. They're employed or associated with groups like TheCall or the International House of Prayer (IHOP), Kansas City-based organizations at the forefront of the movement. The long list of The Response's official endorsers - posted on the event's website - reads like a Who's Who of the apostolic-prophetic crowd, including movement founder C. Peter Wagner.

These people are the enemy. Know the enemy.

In a recent interview with the Observer, Schlueter explained that The Response is divinely inspired. "The government of our nation was basically founded on biblical principles," he says. "When you have a governmental leader call a time of fasting and prayer, I believe that there has been a significant shift in our understanding as far as who is ultimately in charge of our nation - which we believe God is."

Predictable. And sad. More of their revisionist manure. If their god is in charge, then nobody is.

Perry certainly knows how to speak the language of the new apostles. The genesis of The Response, Perry says, comes from the Book of Joel, an obscure slice of the Old Testament that's popular with the apostolic crowd.

"With the economy in trouble, communities in crisis and people adrift in a sea of moral relativism, we need God's help," Perry says in a video message on The Response website. "That's why I'm calling on Americans to pray and fast like Jesus did and as God called the Israelites to do in the Book of Joel."

Ah yes. The old finger-pointing trick. What Perry doesn’t seem to realize, is that moral relativism is a standard by which Christianity flies. I’m going to skip around to the astounding bits:

One of the primary tasks of the new prophets and apostles is to hear God's will and then act on it. Sometimes this means changing the world supernaturally. Wagner tells of the time in October 2001 when, at a huge prayer conference in Germany, he "decreed that mad cow disease would come to an end in Europe and the UK." As it turned out, the last reported case of human mad cow disease had occurred the day before. "I am not implying that I have any inherent supernatural power," Wagner wrote. "I am implying that when apostles hear the word of God clearly and when they decree His will, history can change."

First off, you ARE implying that you have some inherent supernatural power – it’s called clairaudience. Secondly, there was a report in Japan in late 2001. Also a report of one in 2004. So still wrong. And it’s not as much an epidemic as they’re hyping it up. So a load of crap – no surprise.

Oh, here’s another ‘goodie’:

Last year Jacobs warned that if America didn't return to biblical values and support Israel, God would cause a "tumbling of the economy and dark days will come," according to Charisma. To drive the point home, Jacobs and other right-wing allies - including The Response organizers Lou Engle and California pastor Jim Garlow - organized a 40-day "Pray and Act" effort in the lead-up to the 2010 elections.

Hey, I saw it coming too. Didn’t need any writing on the wall. It was pretty obvious.

Oh, and here’s the crazy cat lady:

Patterson claims to have seen demons with her own eyes. In 2009, at a prophetic meeting in Houston, Patterson says she saw the figure of Jezebel and "saw Jezebel's skirt lifted to expose tiny Baal, Asherah, and a few other spirits. There they were - small, cowering, trembling little spirits that were only ankle high on Jezebel's skinny legs."

Likely they’re spiking the punch with hallucinogenics – or she’s just batshit crazy. And like attracts like.

Read the rest of the article. You don’t require me to interpret it for you. But for myself, these people give me the shudders. People who are hearing voices and having visions need medicating, not political power. Perry might turn out to be an also-ran, but he could also become a dark horse.

So keep a wary eye out, and speak up at the first opportunity. Denounce these gibbering weirdos as the nutcases they are. Stump if you have to, but be heard.

The more of us that speak up, the better likelihood there is of being heard.

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About Me

I've become a sort of 'Renaissance man' w/o intending to, having done all sorts of interesting bylines, from carny to computer programmer, wild child to novelist, etc.
Reinvention is key to the progress of the individual.