4:08am, 4:09am…4:10am

Is it the pain in my back or the pain in my heart? Is it the fear I feel whenever I think about tomorrow. Maybe it’s the pinch between my shoulders or the crick in my neck I no longer remember living without. Maybe it’s the tremor that stops only when my mind shuts down but nothing has stopped tonight so my tremors rummage around like hungry, restless limbs pulling and tearing at my sheets like they were crusty loaves of bread. Even when everything stops the silence is to loud, the darkness to thick and I can’t see my way. Truth is, I can’t see my way. I am as blind to it in the hours of the day but the world has lifted its veil and I am no longer visible in the crowd.