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I was in a very serious relationship for 6 years. It wasn’t the easiest 6 years because of the crap that was thrown at us but we were easy. Our situation and circumstances tested the relationship. Although I continued to fight, he had given up when the light at the end of our tunnel was so close, you could basically taste it. I found this out on Christmas Eve, however he already had 6 months of moving on (WITH SOMEONE ELSE-7 years younger than him) before telling me a day before I was supposed to fly to see him.

I find myself alone for the first time yet surrounded by family. I was a girlfriend, partner, wife and best friend, I don’t know how to be anything else anymore. This is when I realized that I don’t know the first time about who I am without those labels.

This year I am determined to better myself and figure out as much as possible about myself.

I showered after my 30 minute run/jog/walk workout last night and realized that it was definitely time to shave my legs, like on a regular basis. I remember reading or watching a TV show and the main character went to bed in a full faced make up because you never know what could happen in the middle of the night and/or who you could meet! I felt that way in the shower. I needed to stay groomed because you never know who you will meet and how hot and heavy it could get at a moments notice. It’s something that I didn’t really have to do because when you are in a serious relationship it’s not a demand, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

I decided to shave my legs, exfoliate my skin and used my clarisonic to detox my face of impurities. I haven’t done a full showering program in years! It felt luxurious but what really hit me was after the shower. I decided to use the “sexy” body lotion to moisturize my skin. I freaked out for a moment-is this a thing that single ladies do? I get that it makes you feel special but it’s exhausting. I really hope that I don’t have to do this type of shower EVERY single day.