Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A Journey*

I am sitting in the sun, reading a book and enjoying a cup of tea. Soon, my eyes droop and I don't think I can stay awake any longer.

Instead of taking a nap, I find myself getting up out of my lounge chair. Something is different - the sunlight is brighter, everything is "sharper" and right in front of me is a path.

The path is sunlight itself, made solid like beaten gold. I find myself walking easily on it, despite the fact it leads up right up into the sky toward the sun. The farther I walk on this path, the brighter the light gets. Soon, I can't see anything but the light. Brighter and brighter.

Suddenly, I see something else in front of me, as if it is forming itself right out of this light. I can see the lower half of a body, then the rest, as well as some kind of room. I don't notice the room so much. All my attention is on Her. Bast.

I stand there, at first, staring like a fool. She wears a sheer white skirt, gathered in front and topped with a gold and bejeweled belt - and little else. She walks to a nearby table loaded for a banquet as she nibbles from a heavily loaded tray. I find myself now down on my knees, not in supplication or abasement, but as a sign of respect. I finally have the presence to ask her if there is any way She wishes me to portray her in my painting, since I had the feeling it was She who wanted it in the first place.

"Paint me as a white cat," she says. "Not a desert cat like you were thinking." I don't know quite what to think of this - many of the depictions I have seen of Her are black and I say so. "It doesn't matter," she replies. "This is what I want."

With that, it is over. I open my eyes and see the sun has dipped behind the trees and their long shadows have crept over me.

*a shamanic tool, somewhat like guided meditation except it is totally unscripted. Usually, the person taking the journey holds a question in mind at the beginning. In this case, it was my preoccupation on how to portray Bast.

I hope no one minds if I answer comments later - I really want to sit with this for a while.