Subsidy Sam & his Wind Farm Scam

He had spent the last year, since being built, dominating the village and bearing down on the local school, its pupils and staff. Sometimes you could even see him flailing his arms about but a lot of the time he didn’t. He was huge. So big he could be seen for miles and miles.

Much further than the land owner, Lord Grabbit, a filthy rich coal mining baron, had said you would be able to. He, with the developers Green Scam Renewables, had even shown pictures to the worried villagers of what Subsidy Sam would look like but it was really hard to see him in the misty distance in the developer’s photomontages.

But today Subsidy Sam was furious. One of his arms had blown off and jagged bits of it were spread all over the school playground. It was so windy. Perhaps even a Force 9 gale. Sam had been waiting for Green Scam Renewables to switch him off before he disintegrated but they had been waiting for the National Grid to ask them to switch him off first, so that they could claim the extravagant constraint payments to not generate.

Green Scam Renewables had misjudged it today and now Subsidy Sam stood broken with one arm missing and the other two hanging forlornly at his side.

It was a good job it wasn’t break time when the children would have been outside playing. With no enforced safety zone around this huge piece of industrial machinery and its whirling blades, it was very dangerous to be anywhere near him but no-one was telling the children that. Subsidy Sam was their friend and would help save the world.

The nice wind developer man who owned Green Scam Renewables, Mr McWeasel, had told them that. He had come to the school with the jolly round man from the government who was wearing a tie with turbines all over it. They told the children that Subsidy Sam would save them and had frightened them all into thinking without him they were all doomed and the planet would die and so would they.

It was scary stuff. It gave them nightmares.

Thank goodness for Subsidy Sam.

The French Head Mistress, Madame de Gaulle, was pleased to see Sam’s blade fly pass her study window at such speed and smash into a thousand pieces. She was relieved that none of the children had been hurt but she was glad to see the broken turbine. ‘Good riddance’ she thought. She knew a waste of money when she saw it. She hated Subsidy Sam, or SS as she preferred to call him, and had put up strong resistance to him being built but to no avail.

It made no difference that she objected when they pretended Sam was a community turbine. No-one in the community wanted Sam but deceiving the local authority into thinking he was one was the only way they would be allowed to build him. She’d heard of burly men going round the village telling people not to object or else.

People were frightened so they didn’t.

Now when the sun shone she had to close the blinds in her study to stop the strobing from Sam’s blades hitting her desk and giving her throbbing headaches.

The compensation that was offered to the community by Green Scam Renewables was offensive. How can they pay anyone enough to make up for not being able to sleep at nights because of the incessant thumping when Sam was having a party and waving his arms in the air?

Nothing could make up for that.

Even the people who want to sell up and move away can’t because when the potential buyers see Subsidy Sam they don’t even get out of their cars. They just speed away without a backward glance.

The tourists have stopped coming. They see Sam and ask, ‘Why did you build that huge ugly thing near your pretty village? We won’t stay here. We will spend our money in places we like the look of and that’s not here.’

Once the foreign workers who built Subsidy Sam had left, the B&Bs and guest houses stayed empty, many people lost their jobs in the tourism industry because no-one came to visit any more.

The birds were happy to see Subsidy Sam immobilised because it meant they no longer had to take their lives in their wings to feed at the nature class bird table every time they passed him when he was having one of his Edward Scissorhands on acid moments.

The caretaker was pleased because he wouldn’t have to keep sweeping up all their feathers and body bits when they misjudged it. However, all the oil that was leaking down Subsidy Sam’s leg and seeping across the playground was hard to scrub off.

The caretaker could never understand how a wind turbine so full of fossil fuels could ever be classed as clean and green.

Still, the oil was a greenish black colour – perhaps that is what people meant. He was just a simple caretaker on minimum wage struggling to pay his energy bill with all these ‘green’ levies on them. What did he know?

He had wanted to object to Subsidy Sam being built but he lived in a cottage on Lord Grabbit’s estate. It had been suggested to him that he shouldn’t object in case his home became no longer available to rent. Without his little cottage he wouldn’t have anywhere to live near where he worked, so he didn’t object.

Mr McWeasel wasn’t pleased because since Subsidy Sam’s arm had been liberated he was unable to get the juicy subsidy for any energy the turbine might have managed to produce or the very lucrative constraint payments. He got those when he was told to switch Subsidy Sam off when there was low demand for electricity, too much wind and the grid was in danger of being overloaded and plunging everyone into darkness.

Why should he care that Subsidy Sam was intermittent and unreliable and didn’t give any energy security? He got paid whatever.

Mrs McWeasel wouldn’t be pleased either as she was expecting her usual two months holiday in the Bahamas, new top of the range set of wheels and that stunning diamond necklace she had set her heart on.

Mr McWeasel would have a lot of explaining to do when he got home. After all he had guaranteed his lovely young wife a life of riches and leisure all paid for by the spoils from Subsidy Sam. It was no matter to him that fuel poverty had increased because the supplements to pay Sam’s subsidies had been added to the energy bills of everyone, even the poor, the elderly and the sick.

No matter to him either that the children and staff were in danger every day from Subsidy Sam’s flying components, that the birds were being sliced and diced, the bats were exploding, the leaking oil was polluting the school yard or that the lights were frequently going out so that the caretaker had to crank up the polluting diesel generator. None of that concerned Mr McWeasel or the politicians he had hoodwinked into believing his windy propaganda. They were so stupid even Mr McWeasel couldn’t believe he had got away with the wind con for so long.

Still, that looked like it had all come to an untimely end with Subsidy Sam now broken and useless. No more subsidies available for new Sams because that pesky government over the border had stopped filling the subsidy trough.

‘Ah well,’ sighed Mr McWeasel. It was time to move onto other things. He had heard that there were good returns and subsidies operating banks of noisy toxic fume-belching diesel generators now. All needed because the politicians had over-deployed on the weather-dependent subsidy suckers and under-deployed on reliable generation. He would need to speak to Lord Grabbit and see if he could build them where Sam was, near the school.

Mrs McWeasel would still get her holiday, her new car and her diamonds. Mr McWeasel might even treat himself to that yacht he had always wanted as well.

Saving the planet was no longer a priority – was it ever, Mr McWeasel?

Comments

I love the cartoon of subsidy Sam and think this story is wonderful. Here in Australia we could use or add characters like Mr Sneaky Fox who scurries around darting here and there grabbing scraps where-ever he can and killing for fun, and of course we have his side kick but one Mr Sneaky Fox will kill if needed, this character is Mr Fluffy Rabbit who charms by looking cute and innocent especially to the city dwellers who are easily fooled as they know no better. In truth though he is undermining our environment as he burrows through the very fabric of rural communities while chomping away at our green and lovely land.
All while those living comfortably in their sterile cement and stone environment pretending to love the outside world they rarely if ever visit.

Thank you for promoting Subsidy Sam STT. A story that has resonated across the world only because what is exposed in it is happening across the world. No offence meant to weasels anywhere. I have the greatest respect for real weasels but these are wind weasels and have been depicted as such for many years by the anti wind movement. Maybe that is why people have taken to the tale. 😉 Here we have the Scottish version, McWeasel and his ‘lovely’ wife but his like are operating and speculating everywhere, aided and abetted by our halfwit politicians. Huge thanks to Josh for the cartoon and who is helping me by illustrating my next project.

Lyndsey, I congratulate you on your story. I also fully appreciate why you wrote the story and applaud you for doing so. My comments were in no way a criticism of the McWeasels in your story. Your story is a great counter to the “Tommy the Turbine” propaganda garbage spread among primary school pupils by a morally bankrupt windustry.

I was replying to the comment describing weasels as vicious killers without a conscience. Although it is an accurate description of the characteristics of windustry spruikers, it suggests that the windustry relies on predation as a survival mechanism. To some extent, the initial survival of the windustry depends on predation – preying on ignorant landowners to host their torture machines.

However, I felt it was important for people to realise that the windustry is dependant on parasitism for continued longer term survival. In a parasitic relationship, the parasite survives at the expense of the health and well being of its host, which perfectly describes the long term survival mechanism of the windustry.

His skunk like demeanour, surreptitious approach, consistent use of ‘weasel’ words and self-absorbed attitude led to a piece of shorthand phraseology that immediately captured every sentiment held by non-weasels, everywhere.

STT is glad to have expanded the lexicon in such a purposeful way.

STT is also pleased to note the manner of its employment by Lyndsey and others in their battles to save the Highlands, and by pro-community groups everywhere these things have been threatened, or where the threat has been sadly realised.

Lyndsey has earned more than a wee dram (or two). STT raises one and says slàinte mhath!

A good analogy Dougal! Lyndsey’s satirical counter message to the constant drip of one-sided and less than accurate facts which our children are fed is of enormous value. With apologies for adapting one of Churchill’s famous observations: ‘Never in the field of energy policy, has so much damage been done to so many by so few.’ Thankfully, sites like this are redressing the balance and encouraging those interested in the truth, to research for themselves. Try visiting http://www.windsofjustice.org.uk for more information & reports.

To compare windustry spruikers with weasels is grossly unfair to weasels. Weasels ony kill in order to survive – they are doing what they were designed to do, and they are very efficient at it.

Windustry spruikers on the other hand, are parasitic. To ensure their survival windustry spruikers rely on subsidies fleeced off electricity customers through additional “green” charges to their electricity bills. This places significantly more financial burden on the poorest people in our society. This survival mechanism is parasitic – i.e. it benefits the parasite (the windustry) at the expense of the well being of the hosts (all electricity customers.)

The windustry spruikers don’t care how many people they deliberately deceive, torture and kill in order to earn the subsidies on which they survive.

This survival mechanism is even worse because hosts are not only fleeced indiscriminately, but many hosts who are unfortunate enough to live near industrial wind turbines are also tortured, suffer progressive health deterioration, and perhaps even ultimately killed in some instances.

This survival mechanism is so heavily stacked in favour of the windustry, it is not sustainable long term. The only feasible outcome of the survival mechanism in this instance is the eventual death of the parasite. That day can’t come soon enough.

STT – as you know, we have a Green dictionary consisting, unashamedly, of words and expressions which you’ve used and which we’ve alighted on, with alacrity. Our favourite is ‘weasel’, that word which has been taken up throughout the world.

We do feel faintly sorry for the animal when we use it, in the same way as we do when we put up pictures of pigs when we talk about troughers or in the case of the ‘flying pig’ when we posted about our former First Minister’s fantastic vision of Scotland becoming the ‘Saudi of Renewables’.

Lyndsey Ward – Subsidy Sam has had many shares around the world. He has grabbed people’s attention and we look forward to the next project by you and Josh!

Subsidy Sam – such a good counter to the shameless wind propaganda allowed into our schools when multinational companies come into the classroom to influence young minds; to cultivate acceptance of their industry into future generations.

In ref to a previous post by Jim Hutson, I emailed Barnaby Joyce to ask him to confirm his support for the White Rock Wind Farm. He did so, as per his media release. The release supports the wind farm and the development of wind farms. Subsidy Sam will be pleased to know this. Our deputy pm is opposing local coal seam gas and is rejoicing in the bar to Chinese purchase of the Kidman properties but is willing to allow the Chinese to inflict his own electorate with incessant lfn, infrasound, property devaluations etc in support of Goldwind’s development which cannot exist without subsidy.