Monthly Archives : May 2019

If the child or children in the home is threatened by domestic violence or kidnapping, the spouse could seek emergency child custody for any of the affected children. The said spouse must file a request an order of protection or restraining order.

The Steps

Here are some of the steps in proving the case in which the child or children is, indeed, in need of protection.:

• Consider the effects the situation will have of your children.
• Acquire the help of a private investigator to provide more evidence against the known aggressor.
• Contact a lawyer.
• Have the aggressor removed from the home.
• Take the children and move out.

Elaborating the Possible Dangers to the Court

The parent who is always the target of domestic violence and threats should be prepared to explain the situation in court. This is helpful in proving the case. The victim’s lawyer would then have a compelling argument, which can persuade the judge. The victim would still need to give a valid reason for a restraining order or order of protection and emergency custody.

Know the Potential Dangers

The aggressive parent may take the children before the other parent can make a move to stop the act. The concerned parents should then talk to a lawyer and local police because this counts as parental kidnapping. The aggressor could take the kids to a secret place for an unknown period, without communication or permission. When it comes to abuse domestic violence, kidnapping may or may not happen.

Fear of Domestic Violence

The concerned parent can seek the help of the courts when there is a threat of harm. A lawyer assists with the filing of the petition and explains the process to the parent. An emergency child custody petition needs procedures and more paperwork to make sure the threats are eliminated. Threats of kidnapping are serious even if there are no threats of child abuse. With the help of a lawyer, the parent can initiate getting emergency child custody, ultimately stopping potential dangers.

Moving to Another Residence without Notice

When the real and sometimes the affected parent could not stop it before it happens. The aggressive parent just takes the child or children and leave without permission or any agreement. This is parental kidnapping, which can also happen in the absence of a threat. If the concerned parent sees signs that the other parents will attempt to do this feat, then the concerned parent should seek the help of the courts for emergency custody.

Legal Support

Affected parents that face kidnapping threats and potential domestic violence with their children require an experienced lawyer to support the said case. The lawyer can get to the bottom of the situation and accumulate evidence to strengthen the claim. The legal professional can also help assist with the petition and explain it to the affected parent.

Ailments start to arise when divorce starts to enter the picture. People who undergo this situation often experience psychosomatic illnesses, headaches, panic attacks, anxiety, disrupted sleeping patterns, depression, and backaches.

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions a person can make. When the marriage is over, affected individuals react to it differently. Most people often associate divorce to death itself. When somebody close dies, a person goes through anger, loss, fear, loneliness, and the process of healing. A person going through a divorce goes through the same thing.

During those times when parties are having difficulty communicating with each other, they seek the support of friends and family. They also opt for divorce mediation to resolve any issues they have to avoid a lengthy and costly trial.

When Choosing a Mediator

The divorce mediator is the third party, who should be neutral. The parties involved should be in agreement in hiring this professional throughout the divorce process. The mediator may or may not have a law degree. It is crucial to consider that in hiring a divorce mediator, you want to hire an experienced professional. Choose the one who specializes in mediating divorce cases as well. Take note that there are many mediation services. It is in your best interest to interview mediators and then choose the best one for your case.

Once you have chosen your divorce mediator, ask for good references. The divorce attorney you may already have could even recommend a divorce mediator. You also have the option of getting a list of mediators from the local State Bar Association, the court, Mediate.com, a legal aid, and family members or friends who may have had a divorce mediator before.

How Divorce Mediation Works

The consultation with the selected divorce mediator is usually held at the conference room of the mediator’s office. During this time, the mediator explains the entire process. Both parties will then sign the mediation agreement. If you choose to be represented by your divorce lawyer, you may consult with your attorney. Yet, generally, attorneys who practice family law do not attend the mediation meetings. Anything said during the mediation process is treated as confidential and is never included in the records of the public court.

Both parties shoulder the cost of the fees during divorce mediation.
The divorce mediator facilitates during the divorce process, trying to help the parties resolve their issues. It should be noted that the mediator is not the one who rules or decides. The parties themselves should reach an agreement. The divorce mediator is only there to make suggestions.

Mediation is not a one-time or even a two-time event. The number of sessions depends on how fast the parties can decide on the issues presented. If they are open to compromise and suggestions, then they will both get the most out of the mediation process. When one party or both of them are just intolerant of meeting each other, then mediation is definitely not for them.

Once a negotiated settlement is reached, one of the representing attorneys or the mediator will draw up the agreement. The representing attorneys should review the settlement agreement first before the parties sign. After everything is signed, the mediator submits the documents to the court to be part of the final divorce decree.

Mediation is a Plus

Divorce mediation is a less costly, private, and faster way to go through the process of ending the marriage. The parties don’t have to go to court to discuss their personal issues and family life. All things expressed during mediation just stay where the mediation takes place. Everything is confidential. If you take your divorce to court, things said become part of public record and anyone could just sit in and watch everything unfold.
The court favors divorce mediation because the court’s calendar becomes free to accommodate other more important cases of family law.

If your marriage is clearly veering toward divorce, mediation is the best option to settle your issues amicably. It is less stressful for both parties, their children, their relatives, and their pets as well. Through divorce mediation, everyone can adjust to the new situation faster and easier.

Everyone is a consumer, even married couples. The only problem is that some wives or husbands make purchases not known by their spouses. This is called financial infidelity. It is something that causes as much detriment in marriages as deceiving the person who was supposed to trust you for the rest of both your lives.

Financial lies come to light eventually. When this happens, the couple ends up arguing over money, losing trust, or getting a divorce.

Types of Financial Infidelity

Finances are important in a marriage. Infidelity in this aspect of the relationship comes in myriad forms. Some are simple, others are more complicated. The following are some of the financial lies married people keep from their spouses:

Hiding debt. This is a serious but less common type of financial disloyalty. According to the NEFE survey, 1 out of the 12 respondents admitted that they had kept the truth about their liabilities. The amount can range from hundreds to hundreds of thousands of dollars. By the time the spouse finds out about the debt, it would already be a challenge to pay it off.

Secret spending. The most common form of financial infidelity is purchasing in secret. This may be a small purchase, a bank statement, or a bill. The spouse hides every proof of purchase so that the other spouse finds out. The money could be spent on hobbies, vices, clothes, jewelry, or gifts. The wife or husband could tell the spouse a lower amount than what was actually spent. The spouse could also delay the payments of monthly bills, damaging their credit rating.

Hidden bank accounts. There are actually spouses who have hidden bank accounts. They fund this bank account without their husband or wife ever knowing. This kind of infidelity happens to couple who are usually apart because of their work.

Lying about the real income. Telling your spouse lies about our income is another form of financial infidelity. Based on a 2018 Safe Home survey, 15% of women and 13% of men deceive their spouses about their true earnings. Some tell their spouses they earn less than they really make because they are afraid their spouses might spend all of it. Others make exaggerations about how much they make because they’re embarrassed. There are also cases where a spouse leaves the house daily to make the other spouse believe that he or she has a job when the truth is that the spouse is unemployed.

Who Does This Kind of Financial Infidelity

Financial Infidelity happens to people from all levels of income. Those who are rich just have the ability to create various schemes when they hide their money. Those who earn less have more difficulty doing this because of limited freedoms.

• Age. According to the CreditCards.com survey in 2015, one of four people ages 18 to 29 admitted to keeping their large purchases hidden. Only 15% of people at least 65 years old said the same thing. Based on the NEFE survey, men below 35 years old are highly likely to be financial infidels. Women committed more financial infidelity when they reach 35 to 44 years of age.

• Gender. Men and women commit financial infidelity, but men are usually more guilty. The NEFE survey says that only 38% of women do this, while 46% of men commit it. Men are more likely to lie about their earnings and major purchases. Women lie more about their liabilities than men.

Reasons

People become financial infidels because of so many reasons. Here are some of them:

• Guilt or embarrassment. After buying something impulsively, a spouse may become guilty about it and ends up lying about it to the other spouse.

• Conflicting goals. Some partners do not have the same money values. The more responsible one usually has no choice but to commit financial infidelity so that he or she can reach the goal for the two of them. To avoid conflict, they commit this type of infidelity.

• Addiction. Gambling and shopping addiction could be strong reasons for financial addiction.

• Fear. Domestic abuse can be a significant reason for committing financial infidelity. A man afraid of his wife leaving him for losing his job could also lie.

Financial infidelity is common, but it doesn’t mean it should be treated as an unavoidable element of every marriage. To void it, honesty and communications should endure between couples. Only then would consequences such as separation and divorce can be eliminated.

The bond between a mother and her child is strong and should always be reinforced. That is why incarcerated mothers are allowed to play and interact with their visiting children. The moments they share with each other help keep their connection strong. Letting them talk, laugh, and touch may even decrease the level of trauma while they are separated.

Courtney Saunders received a two-and-a-half-year prison sentence for possession of drugs. It seemed like her world was about to end especially when the reality of being apart from her daughters set in. Saunders said that incarcerated mothers should have more than visits behind plexiglass windows. Every visit should be child-friendly, allowing the mothers and their children to have physical contact. The interaction would give mothers hope in their situation.

The incarcerated mom served 6 months at the Bristol County Jail and House of Correction in North Dartmouth, Massachusetts. After enduring that period in 2015, she convinced the judge to a compulsory treatment program, which would enable her to call her kids every day. Even if the calls lasted only five minutes, they truly made a difference in staying truly connected with her daughters.

Now 30, Saunders was able to regain her sobriety and is already reunited with her children.

Meghann Perry was also arrested in Maine, back in 2002, when her daughter was just about seven months of age. She was charged for being positive for methadone, which was prescribed by a doctor to help pull her out of heroin addiction. Perry kept entering and exiting prison and her treatments. She lost her daughter because she relapsed. Even so, she wanted to stay in touch with her daughter. Whenever they spoke to her daughter or received letters from her, she became motivated to fight. By 2009, she was granted regular visits. Because of those interactive visits that she was able to recover fully.

Now, Perry is a certified addiction recovery coach. She lives in Boston and works with people who want to strengthen or start their own recovery.

The United States has many incarcerated women. Most of them are in prison because of property or non-violent offenses because of the worsening opioid crisis. A huge number of these women are mothers and were the only ones who cared for their kids. Their children usually end up living with relatives or in foster care. The chance for an imprisoned mother to be with her children differs by the one who has custody, state, or correctional facility.
Unfortunately, prison visits are not granted to parents who were imprisoned because of child abuse or violent crimes. Some experts say that visits could cause more trauma to the children. Yet, for those who are allowed family visits, researches show that having them in a child-friendly manner possibly allays separation trauma, decreases backsliding, and maintains the connection with the family.

It is odd for a child to see his or her mother and not be able to interact or connect. It is just unnatural, according to a professor of clinical pediatrics and psychologist at the Indiana University School of Medicine, Angela Tomlin.
Endeavors such as Still She Rises (North Tulsa, Oklahoma) are attempting to hinder damage to family relationships. This program is the first public defender office that solely represents imprisoned mothers. Some states have already started creating visitation programs that are child-friendly. In New York, a pilot program has just been started. It involves visits at the Children’s Museum of Manhattan. When the museum is closed to the public, incarcerated mothers at Rikers could spend time with their children there.

The said program was spearheaded by New York’s First Lady, Chirlane McCray. She saw herself how hard it was for children and parents to interact with each other during prison visits. She said that the off-site visits are important because they enable an imprisoned mother to have a relevant connection with her children. The quality time spent by mother and child, dancing, listening to music, or creating art together allows them to strengthen their bond and express themselves. The museum’s executive director, Andrew Ackerman, says that families can heal in such an inspiring environment.

Both Courtney and Perry have their daughters back despite what they have been through. Mothers and children should always maintain their connection with each other. The healing power of this exercise can truly change the lives of families and their inevitable futures as well.