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The Randominov Legacy 1.7

Note from the crazy author that has not updated in a century: Okay guys here I am again with Ivan (AKA Boris) and hopefully I can get a few updates of this story before I get really busy with life… wait a minute, no. I was not busy before. I was just being lazy. The point to this note is to let you all know that it might be hard to get the same feeling of the story (if there was ever one in this random craziness) again. Because it has lost momentum. Now… okay, I’ll stop talking and just get on with it.

Welcome back to yet another update of Ivan Randominov and his two new addition to the family, the not so random boys Rocco and Antwan… err I think this is his name. I have no clue. Nway…

Objectives for this update: To bring back the feeling of random lame jokes that are needed sometimes.

Obstacles: I think I need a glass of wine… no. Make that a White Russian. (yes, all pun intended)

Recapping was always done for the sake of fillers, now it seems like such a necessary thing to do.

We learned that Rocco (aka coco) is crazy. Yep, he likes to sing and talk to the air. It’s official.

The brat grew up. T T
This is the time I cry of joy. However, it’s been so long since I last got in touch with these brats of mine, I have no strong feelings. T T … what? That also calls for a good crying.

Antwan was born!! Or… whatever the hell his name is. Once I go into game again, I promise Ill remember it. ANyway…

This was needed to spice things up. And it might just spice things up now as well.

Oh! That’s right. How could I forget about ma Boris??? lol.

Ivan got the job as an art appraiser.

And since we are talking about that, let me just for the sake of dorkiness point out the progress of this challenge.

Family Structure: Single Parent

Number of Childre: 2

Primary Income: Art Appraiser

Generation Goal: A Party to Remember

Miscellaneous Fun: Gourmet

Not bad. Alright! On to the update.

WOOHOO we are back mah Boris, we are back!!

Boris?

BORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!

Shut up. I’m having fun with my kid Antone.

Oh so the kid’s name is Antone? That doesn’t sound right. Is that a French name?

Nway… it’s all good you are paying attention to Antone, but what about Coco? Are you going to forget about him now?

“When you are the best of friends.

Having fun together.

You are not even aware you are such a funny pair.

You are the best of friends.”

*face palm*

Random days later,

Ivan got the point, and started spending time with Coco as well…. helping him with his homework… *oh random lord*

“I thought Popeye discovered the Americas. But I was so wrong!”

“He was actually the inventor of the spinach. Canned.”

Who was not expecting this? *hits the person with a bat in the head*

They also played in the snow. I think Ivan was trying to give Coco “the” talk… but I digress.

“You don’t ask the woman to marry you.”

“Not until you ask her to nude for you.”

“But dad. I don’t draw.”

“I’ll teach you.”

I bet!

A few days later (3. I counted) it was time for a birthday! XD

The typical gang is invited. Ira (could not be missed) the werewolf lady, and other woman with short blond hair whose eyes glow!! *I still have no clue who she is. *

Boris you better spend time with coco. Or I’ll send you back to CAS. As in, delete this sim.

You still using the same old thread?

o_o I have created a monster.

“And the claw came from the clouds, way above the sky, and…”

Antone: I hope she is not my mother.

Lady in pink dress. With red flowers: This bitch is crazy bawhahaha. Oops, I forgot I’m at a kids party.

Random moments later,

Okay how do you play this shit? Oh I got it. Pink;red;orange;yellow…

Where the heck is Ivan?

Figures…

“…you are not even aware you are such a funny pair.

You are the best of friends.”

*sigh*

Something had to be done about coco and his imaginary friend. That’s just creepy. So I got Ivan to talk to him.

“Rocco, son, I wonder if there is something bothering you. I don’t see you spending time with friends.”

“Yes I do father.”

“No. I mean. Normal friends. Like, visible. You know? Kids you can touch.”

“Eh? Why would I want to touch another kid?”

Well, that is going just splendid.

“I’ll be honest dad. I hate my brother. He annoys the shit out of me.”

But coco, your little brother has only been in this house for like, what? four days?Boris say something!! And what is with the cursing for a 6 year old?

“Hmm. I see.”

“And that is not all. He is here to take over my spot. Why bring another ‘us’ into the world? We should have been enough.”

This kid needs attention from you Ivan. Say something. Tell him is okay to have a little brother, that he can play with him, that he can teach him stuff (lets hope is none of this imaginary friend stuff) … Ivan just say something.

“Hmm. I see.”

Something other than “hmm. I see.” for crying out loud.

“I love you dad. We are as one.”

“But Rocco, we are not one. There is me, then you, and now there is little tony.”

Eh? You gave Antone a nickname?

Shut up. I’m trying to be a father.

It’s not showing.

“Anyway. There’s three of us in this house, and no room for a fourth. Even less one that does not exist.”

“But Puzzle is real.”

“No he is not. And that is final. Go to your room!”

“I don’t even have a room.”

“Then go to your bed.”

“It is your bed too dad.”

“Just go to sleep!”

And that was the end of a father/son conversation. I love my children.

On to the next child!

“Okay tony time to teach you some words.”

“Say: pretty flowers.”

Why would a boy want to say flowers as a first word? I applaud you for it Ivan. Teaching your kid to not be prejudice.

“That’s right you are not a girl. Okay. Say: Science.”

I spoke to soon.

How about you teach him how to say brother? That way coco won’t feel left out anymore.

“Flies!”

“Flies?”

Oh. Just nice. We are in for a treat with this one.

“Go to sleep kiddo.”

Dad you need some Listerine or something. Your breath smells bad.

o__o Boris. We have created a monster.

Kids. They’re handful. And you’re no help at ALL.

I’m not here to help you with your kids. Although I have been trying to do just that but you have no clue.

Stop calling Rocco coco. It makes him think he is special. Gives him “delusion of grandeur”.

He is special. Only like the heir to this challenge? And where did you picked up such a big phrase?

What? Heir to the challenge? I thought I was the one and only?

-____-

Later that night,

Coco what are you doing baby?

Searching for a way to best send my brother into the other world.

AH???????????????????????

Much later,

Finally the night became peaceful and all Randominovs went to sleep.

But then the door bell rang. IRA!!

Tony: Who the F is at the door at these hours?

Coco! What are you doing outside of the house?

And I never got the memo Ira has been replaced with Mr. Purple Suit here.

Days later,

Antone is a little bugger. He cries all the time.

Boris you better get a baby-sitter! Soon. As in, NOW.

“Here kid, eat your food.”

Bitch. About time you fed me.

What’s this poop looking thing anyway?

Mmm, taste just like it.

*Kids. Poop. Wall Decor.*

Meanwhile,

“Rocco here. I got you this.”

“I don’t want your stinky shit. Idiot.”

*shakes head*

And Coco is truly lost.

So I got an idea. Why not take the kids out sometime? I mean they need to enjoy a day out together. With Ivan.

So I told Ivan. And this happened,

“When you are the best of friends.

Having fun together…”

I give up!

Oh. What is that hideous looking thing? I wanna destroy it!

Oh Shit! Puzzle IS real.

What followed was the dreaded game between siblings, the one no one wants to participate in. The one where my toys are not your toys. The one where you need to back the SHIT OFF.

But Antone is evil, remember?

*cue in Shark’s theme*

Puzzle, no one shall take you from me. NO. ONE.

*cue in Shark’s theme, stronger now. STRONGER*

Boris you better do something or else. Your kids will hate each other for the rest of their lives.

“Comere you. Quit tormenting your insane brother.”

*cue in Shark’s theme in the distance…*

Yep. That didn’t quite work.

Then I saw this and realized I was in the wrong park. Tsk. Tsk.

Later that day,

Where is puzzle?

How should I know? I can’t see him.

I hope he is safe from my evil brother.

“Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care,

Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care,

Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care,

My master’s gone away.”

I don’t have to explain this.

Someone is aging up. Although the reality of it all is questionable.

Naturally this called for a celebration of sorts.

“I love how your eyes are so blue, like mine… “

Oh-kay…

Meanwhile,

Forget the baby-sitter. This kid needs a good “shotdamouthe” *never mind… it’s a Korean thing that I pretentiously typed with accent and all*

There, that’s better.

Back to coco,and Ivan obliviously dancing in the background…

“You and me are one. Never forget that.”

and this went on until 6:30 in the effing morning.

“Rocco the sun has come out”

NO SHIT!

And then,

Coco: Puzzle you are my best of friends. The only one I have.

Ivan: Rocco really is insane.

He-llo!

But I didn’t want to believe it.

Now you know things are serious.

I hope this puzzle is a girl at least.

*face palm*

My dad thinks I’m crazy. Do you think I’m crazy?

Well, let me see… hmmm…

“Rocco! Please talk to me. Tell me what is wrong? Why do you speak to the air?”

“I don’t father. I speak to Puzzle. He is just clear color.”

“Oh really? Can he be seen with the sunlight?”

*sigh* I got no words.

So days have gone by, and lame jokes are almost out of season. Just to finish this up, Rocco’s birthday is due!

And he still hates Ivan. I’ts a routing thing.

Because the birthday boy is not the center of attention in this party. We got other people to worry about.

Okay. That’s more like it.

Hey You!!! Kid with the lonely tree t-shirt. You better not laugh at my coco. Or I’ll sent you to CAS… very looming thread.

Oh no! My coco!! :3

Who is this lonely tree looking kid laughing at?

Like you care. Bah. Boris.

*gasp*

CAS.

Grrr…

And later,

Lonely tree t-shirt kid: Oh no, the cake is gone. I wonder if going around it will make it magically appear.

Puzzle: Booo… whoever your name is.

Lonely tree t-shirt kid: One. Two. Three…

Puzzle: Booo Kitty.

Lonely tree t-shirt kid: SNAP. No cake.

Puzzle: Double booo Kitty.

Random moments later,

Kitty is playing “Ugly Duckings”

Oh. Mother.

Woohoo! That’s what I’m talking about.

And lady with the glowing eyes…. whom I cannot figure out just yet.

Thank you cat.

So we have reached the end of this update… thank the Lord. And now I must go hit myself in the head. T T

Thanks for reading guys, really. ❤

True story.

Disclaimer — just because people get ridiculous: Yes, none of the songs the kids are singing are mine. Rocco sings from The Fox and The Hound, and Antone sings “Jimmy Crack Corn”.

I was so happy to see Rocco came out like his father, still inheriting a few things from Kitty like the red hair and fairly tan skin, he is very handsome, I dare say he is more handsome than Ivan. ^ ^

That’s the song from The Fox and Hound, I wasn’t going for creepy, but if it made you feel that then even better because I love creepy hahahaha.

Antone is so sassy, just like his name. He keeps giving me the creeps with his looks… and I just thought the park scene was hilarious because he truly wanted Puzzle. He continues to show that kind of behavior later …. I will say no more.