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What Nobody Told Me About Growing Up

When I was little/ younger, I had all these ideas and fantasies of what it would be like to be grown up.

I would be filthy rich (there’s still time for this; I won’t give up!), I would be married by the time I was 23, I would have an awesome job (At first I wanted to be a vet; I don’t know why because I do not like animals that much. Later, I wanted to be a voice over artist for cartoons. One time, I wanted to be on TV and/or radio; still do. Later on, I decided I’d rather work for myself) etc
Now that I’m older, even though I still think to myself that there’s still time to have all these amazing dreams leave my head and come into the world and become realities, I review some dreams and I know they will most probably remain dreams. As depressing as this sounds, it’s the truth and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Here are some crucial things nobody told me about growing up which I learnt by myself on my journey to where I am now:

You start to become a pessimist. Life tends to make you one. You think you’re being realistic but really, you’ve lost that childhood optimism and now you’re just plain pessimistic.You become a cynic. You no longer believe that all dreams come true like you did when you were a child. Santa who?

Painfully, you will probably never win the lottery. You may never become Bill-Gates-rich. You will probably never have someone walk up to you and say “God told me to give you 150 billion dollars”. You will know this somewhere in the back of your head but you will keep trying. (Then again, this may just be my adult pessimism and cynicism telling me this.)

You will not be married at 23. I am 25 and I do not have a boyfriend right now so that ship has sailed the Atlantic.

You may not find that Romeo and Juliet love or you may find it but it will take time. You can love someone but not be in love with them. Most times, independence sucks and loneliness sucks even more! Being in a relationship can also suck; it’s not rainbows and butterflies like you see on TV.

The world is oftentimes unfair and many people are cruel.

Not everyone will think you’re special. To some people, you’re just another person in a world of people.

Sometimes, hardwork does not pay off. Many times, your efforts go unnoticed and people take the credit for your input.

Looking for jobs sucks! When you finally get the job, the job will probably suck too! Many days you will want to quit your job, stay home and not give a shit but you probably will take a shower instead and go to work. You may never be your own boss or you may be your own boss but it will take time.

You will hate people. You won’t be that kid that loved everyone. You will legitimately hate some people.

You will develop bad habits. You will sin and do bad things many times. God loves you regardless. He’s not looking for perfect people; if He were, He would have been fine with angels and wouldn’t have bothered with the human race.

You may never find your talent and that’s okay. Also, you may never know what you want to do with your life and that’s okay too.

Sometimes, wishing and praying something you really need and want into reality will not work. You will get over it and you will move on.

You will go through very tough times and really sad times but they will pass because nothing lasts forever and you will be okay. You will realize that you are stronger than you thought.

You will not have a billion friends. Not everyone will like you. Make do with the friends and family you have. Also, learn to be your own friend. Don’t put yourself down and don’t be your own enemy of progress.

Sometimes, you are all you need. You don’t need anyone or anything else.

Savour and bask in every happy moment because remembering them and remembering there will be more like them will get you through the not so happy moments.

Sometimes, you just have to give up. Realize that there are some battles you will not win and simply give up for the greater good and for your own sanity.

Believing will not come easy for you as it did when you were a child. You have to make a conscious effort to believe and have faith in things.

Things will not fall in your lap. You have to work for them. And as I said, hard work sometimes will not pay off so you may not get everything that you want.

The world will tell you you’re not good enough. People and flaws will chip at your confidence and some will straight up break you. This is where you need to learn the importance of self belief and self love. But there will be days when you do not even believe in or love yourself; you will get through those days. Just hold on.

What are the things you learnt yourself from becoming an adult that nobody told you?

Loved reading this. It’s just like some one telling you the reality and your state of mind. When I was lil I said I was gone study chemical engineering and graduate at 21 then go abroad for my masters be through with education at 23, but I’m already 23 and still in the university trying to get my first degree, masters dreams has sailed. It’s sucks but I’ve accepted that life doesn’t always play out the way you want . I’m just going with the flow hopefully it’s gonna be good 😃

Finally accepting #1 and #9. I’m not that super sweet, extra optimistic person I was, and thought I always would be. There’s good in everyone, but some people simply choose to be nonsense and I’ve learnt to spot that and cut it out from far away.