Bumbershoot Index

Number of days into the festival it took SW music editor Michaelangelo Matos to figure out that his original idea of covering the festival in haiku was kind of a lame idea and that he and the music staff should just start counting stuff instead: One and a half

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Number of strawberry shortcakes eaten during festival by this Index's authors: Seven

Number of those eaten by Matos: Seven

Number of comments on Rachel Shimp's "Come on Feel the Illinoise" T-shirt: 12

Percentage of these that consisted of middle-aged men catcalling, "Sufjan!": 50

Number of children playing violin in a clown suit while hula-hooping on a medicine ball: One

Number of prepubescent kids juggling three machetes while standing on four skateboards, with parents calmly looking on: One

Number of lava lamps in the What's Next beer garden: 31

Number of teens/adults who should know better indiscriminately smoking around children: Entirely too many

Volunteers with the best job: The ones shaking palm leaves during a conga processional/The ones giving the stick to piñata-busting kids (tie)

Number of New Zealand folk parodists impersonating David Bowie at the Comedy Stage on all four days: Two

Number of overexcited native New Zealanders in the audience during Bowie impersonators Flight of the Conchords' Friday performance: One

Number of times the exasperated Conchords acknowledged her: Six

Amount of money raised for the Hurricane Katrina relief effort in drop boxes around the venue: Nearly $30,000

Approximate percentage of crowd for Skerik's Syncopated Taint Septet's set on the Bumberella Stage that viewed the show from the beer garden: 40

Number of times Garbage singer Shirley Manson turned away from the Mainstage crowd, offering a glimpse of the word "Shirley" embroidered on the seat of her denim short-shorts: 22

Number of male attendees of DeVotchka's Saturday afternoon show on the Bumberella Stage who wore their shirts not on their torsos but their heads: Three

Approximate amount the bar of the nearby Mecca Cafe rang up on Friday, the first night of the festival, between 6 p.m. and 2 a.m.: $2,000

Number of baby-clothing items available from a merchandise booth bearing a screen-print of a chicken in a studded collar: One

Average length of time per song performed by the Bill Frisell Trio during its McCaw Hall set Saturday afternoon: 12 minutes

Number of documentaries about pet taxidermy screened during the 1 Reel Film Festival: One

Number of people who left, disgusted, during the pet-taxidermy doc: 12

Number of keyboards played by Michiko Swiggs during IQU's set at EMP: Three

Of those, number that hung from Swiggs' neck: One

Number of people in line at McCaw Hall for "Smart," the literary/musical stage show featuring Dave Eggers, Sarah Vowell, Daniel Handler, the Transatlantic Orchestra, and Mike Doughty, at 5:35 p.m.: 26

Time show was scheduled to begin: 8 p.m.

The show might have been better titled: "Cute"

If it had been Eggers reading alone, an even better name would have been: "Cutesy"

Total amount of money during "Smart" that Handler asked the crowd to donate, en masse, to the educational nonprofit 826 Seattle, with Handler explaining that if the request was met, "Death Cab for Cutie—excuse me, I mean the Transatlantic Orchestra—will play a wicked encore, and if not, Sarah Vowell will come out and recite some poems she wrote in high school": $10,000

Amount actually raised: Around $12,000

Cover version performed by Death Cab for Cutie—excuse me, I mean the Transatlantic Orchestra: "Hungry Like the Wolf"

Number of young teens in phat pants, fuzzy top hats, and pigtails dancing to DJ Eva with glowing, holographic toys: 10

Best freebie: Glowing, holographic toys

Number of people who still whoop for a big house-music buildup: More than you think

Best swipe at record company, following mock disagreement about whether the next Mudhoney album will be released in February 2006 (guitarist Steve Turner) or "next week" (bassist Guy Maddison): "We can't get a straight story from those fuckers at Sub Pop"—singer/guitarist Mark Arm

Number of adorably shaggy teenagers wearing a Mötley Crüe "Too Fast for Love" T-shirt at the Visqueen show: One

Best fellow-Seattle-band onstage taunt: "Dude, take those off. Who are you, Eddie Spaghetti?" (Visqueen's Rachel Flotard, to a crowd member wearing sunglasses indoors)