L’Auberge takes pool parties to the next level

There I was, knee-deep in a lazy river, my ankle-length dress floating up around me like the bloom of a beautiful flower, if that flower drank three rum runners in one afternoon.

“Come, come down to the river,” I called out melodramatically to some dudes I’d met in a cabana an hour ago, but they just patted my head sympathetically. They were accustomed to the anything goes revelry of L’Auberge du Lac’s Liquid Society parties by the pool, but I was a fresh convert.

Never one for gambling, my casino time has always been limited. But at L’Auberge’s Thursday night summer series of live music, swim-up bars and contests created solely to judge bikini-clad women from afar, I found the closest I may ever come to party nirvana. And I found it just in time, because as summer begins to wind down, I find myself grasping for any last scrap of it I can.

This party is no ordinary party — it is summer incarnate, if summer was created solely for the enjoyment of adults who love rum and sunshine and enjoying both from the comfort of an innertube. The key to getting the most out of your trek to Lake Charles, however, is to get there early. Why party by the pool at sunset when you can also do it all afternoon?

Eve 6. Tammy McKinley/cat5

Which is exactly what I did that Thursday after arriving at L’Auberge around 3 p.m. After finding the last remaining chair in the adult pool area (no small task — these pools fill up fast), I posted up with some tanning oil, an ice-cold rum runner from the nearby bar and a Bukowski book that never even made it out of my bag. This is not a kick-back-with-a-book kind of pool — it’s a high-heels-and-bikinis, daiquiries-delivered-by-cabana-boys kind of pool. And it is fabulous people-watching.

Once settled in, I brought my drink into the pool (because you can do that here, which is the best) and leaned against a wall to watch nightlife reincarnated in its chlorinated daytime form. The drinks were strong, the music upbeat, the women beautiful and the men very aware of that fact. Within five minutes I was sipping my coral-colored drink with Coco, a dancer who I would like to be my best friend forever.

“I like coming to this pool because there’s no kids here,” Coco said, and we clinked our plastic cups of rum together in agreement.

It’s not hard to kill an afternoon at L’Auberge’s pool. If you can’t find a space in the adult pool, the nearby lazy river is just begging to be floated in — and it leads to a true blue swim-up bar. As well, I am happy to report that pool area waitstaff is not just the standard attractive women in bikinis. It also includes attractive men in little clothing, and these fellas will make you want a cabana boy of your very own.

Tammy McKinley/cat5

When a storm cloud sent us all to the covered patio outside Jack Daniel’s Bar & Grill, I gave my sunburn a break while sobering up with Jack-glazed chicken. L’Auberge closes the pool area at 6 p.m. every Thursday to prepare for the party, and — once you buy your almost unbelievably cheap $10 ticket — everyone is allowed back in at 7 p.m.

By then, the VIP cabanas have begun to fill up and go-go dancers are scattered across the lush green grounds, their lithe bodies whirling about on small platforms. The casino outfits the patio with ample opportunity to quench your thirst, as portable tiki bars are set up at every turn but full bars are still open if you’re seeking a stiff mixed drink.

By 8:30, everything was filling up — the lawn, the cabanas, the swim-up bar and the lazy river. And everyone was enjoying themselves while wearing very little clothing. On stage, a man was soliciting the audience’s opinion regarding the physical aptitude of several dozen women in microscopic bikinis. That man, as it turns out, was Pauly D, who is apparently a person made famous on MTV’s “Jersey Shore.” I’m pleased to note that I didn’t learn this man’s identity until the next day, otherwise I may not have been so quick to participate in the judging.

“She looks like a very bright young lady,” I called out, and the party pals I’d made only minutes before gave me a baffled stare. Then they gave me some tequila for good measure.

Tammy McKinley/cat5

If you’re lucky enough to befriend a group of cabana-dwelling VIP — which, in this case, meant several young Iranian men who play soccer at Lamar — I thoroughly suggest you post up in one of these babies and never, ever leave. I’m not sure why anyone would watch TV during such a pivotal party moment, but your cabana gives you that option, as well as a fridge for your booze, ample luxury seating and the attention of a very friendly waitress.

Our position at the edge of the stage meant a great view of Eve 6, that evening’s entertainment. Bands on the casino circuit often give revelers an opportunity to travel back in time — the 90’s, in many cases. Acts at this summer’s Liquid Society parties have included Uncle Kracker, Candlebox and upcoming shows from Finger Eleven and Better Than Ezra. It’s like junior high school never has to end.

Once the sun has tucked itself behind the lavish gold and maroon facade of L’Auberge, you’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone who isn’t dancing. My best advice is to grab another drink, loosen up and fold yourself into the mass of humanity writhing around you.

Tammy McKinley/cat5

After a night of dancing with my new friends, I sobered up with another meal from Jack Daniels Bar & Grill, which also hosts Liquid Society’s after parties. I waited out my buzz while watching so much of humanity pass me by — some en route to their hotel rooms, others the restaurants, spas or just the casino floor.

I toyed with the idea of hitting up the penny slots, but thought better of it. I couldn’t possibly win any more that night than I already had.