We're moving to a new place... but the agent provocateur lives on! I'll keep this blog up as an archive, but you can now find my thoughts at elpatronhimself.net.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

The Search for the "James Bond Moment"

Greetings bloggers and fans around the net. First, thanks to my friends for the words of encouragement about my last blog about my leg. The road to healing is still on and I'll get back to 100% soon enough. I can't thank you all enough for your support.

Second, props to what in my mind will be one of the most legendary intramural sports teams of all time: The St. Funs Broomball Club. We had good times and heartbreak, but somewhere along the way, we actually got to really become good friends, brothers if you will. Whether I'll retire from broomball is yet to be decided, but it'll be hard to replicate the experience and I'd rather live with the memories I've already collected.

I don't have much of an update on my twin nieces. I promise one very soon and a very special two-year anniversary blog about what the arrival of Isabella and Manuela has represented for my life. It'll be a good one, I promise.

Now, on to my blog...

Shaken, not Stirred: The Search for the "James Bond" Moment

I won't lie: I am a James Bond fan, the kind of fan that knows that there was such a thing as an actual dude named James Bond, who happened to me an ornitologist and whose name drew inspiration for Ian Fleming to name his 007 MI5 Agent, on Her Majesty's Secret Service. The kind of purist that denounces "Never Say Never Again" as part of the saga. Geekiness aside, there's one reason why James Bond has never lost his allure as a cultural icon: It's the fact that some parts of his persona are enticing (and no, it's not the neverending list of STD that Mr. Bond probably has after so many random encounters with random women!), like the casinos, cars, and of course, the gadgets. As comic Craig Ferguson once said, most of us always anticipated the Bond-Q encounter where Q would go over the gadgets du jour with 007. It is no surprise that "Bond, James Bond" was picked at the end of the 21st century as the most popular movie phrase of all time. Multiple variations of that have made it to different movies alike. Also, the emergence of so many Bond parodies (Get Smart, Johnny English, Austin Powers, to name a few) and the eternal search for the U.S. version of James Bond (Jason Bourne, anyone?) are more than enough evidence that Commander Bond will always be a point of reference for movie buffs.

There is one thing, though, that a lot of people would like to experience first-hand. It's what I like to call "Your own James Bond moment." You may want to feel it while driving, a la the guy from the Ruben Blades song "Decisiones" (Decisions), or while drinking a martini, etc. You don't really need to be able to afford an Aston Martin (although it's gotta be pretty freaking cool to own one, eh?) or sport a Tuxedo (which is still in my list of things to wear while I'm still single) to have one of those. The bottom line is, once you get your James Bond moment, that represents eternal bragging rights and a fun story to share with generations to come!

And... oh yes, I DO have my own James Bond moment and I've cherished it ever since it happened. That (and of course being flat broke by virtue of grad school) is the main reason I don't feel like I ever need to hit a casino ever again. I'm in anecdotal mood, so let me share the story...

The year: 1998. The place: Cartagena, Colombia (oh yes, a tourist location with beaches and beautiful women galore; it may not be Monte Carlo, but it was really fun. I recommend visiting Cartagena sometime). The setting: A night in January at a casino right across the street from the place we were staying. This was a moment that was pivotal not only for our vacation but for the moment when the whole "Patron" thing really got going. Here's the situation: A group of close friends (whom we'll call Andres A., Carlos R.D., Javier M., and Javier R. because those are their actual names!) and I came back from a night out and in order to give two friends some space, we went to the aforementioned casino. With a few bucks and our crazy spirits, we took over the locale. We started at the roulette first; after a while, we actually hit the blackjack table. I sat down, Bond style, and started playing. I won some, I lost some. And then...

The Pivotal Moment that changed the course of my history...

One of the rounds of blackjack, I got five cards: 2, 5, 4, 2, for 13. Decisions, decisions... I couldn't stand pat because the house would win. I could only go for another card and take my chances to go over 21... or maybe get that much-needed 8 and beat the house on that round. After consulting with my entourage (by that point, they actually were in character!), they encouraged me to take my chances. I did and I told the dealer (and I will include the original quote in Spanish):

I was a rather brash statement, outlandish even. I knew I could make a fool of myself. But, I also knew that the stuff of legends happens in moments like these. The dealer pulled the card.. and... wait for it...

Oh my! AN EIGHT OF CLUBS was the card that got me to 21 and won that round. My friends couldn't believe it. I, of course, knew what I was doing (James Bond would too!) and acted nonchalant. Yes, I lost almost all of my money in the next few rounds and left the table with just a buck. Right now, it doesn't matter! That buck could've been spent in a cheap pair of sunglasses or getting ripped off by the oyster guys (another story for another time). But, I wouldn't have my eternal bragging rights, the feeling of knowing EXACTLY what James Bond feels when he beats the bad guys at the table and the fact that for one brief moment... I could go and say...

"Yeah, I am Bond... PATRON Bond!"

I was in the mood for a light-hearted blog... and this just did it! I hope you enjoyed reading it.

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About Me

Why Gonzo 2.0?

Gonzo is the style of unedited, unfiltered, raw journalism that Dr. Hunter S. Thompson made so famous in his own writing, somewhat immortalized in his famous "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and his alter ego, Dr. Gonzo.

Gonzo as a style of writing is all about letting it all out in one single sitting. It's all about pouring it all in one draft and letting it go... and isn't that what most blogs are about?

Hence Gonzo 2.0 - It's HST's style, now online.

Don't get me wrong... Gonzo is about lack of filters or edits, but Gonzo 2.0 is NOT about dumbing down the language. We'll leave that to Twitter, internet fora, and your average text messages. Gonzo 2.0 still believes that to make a decent, unfiltered narrative, the writer needs to know grammar, syntax, etc. There is a reason why it worked: Because HST would NEVER have mistaken "there" for "their," "your" for "you're" and he would have said that something was "ludicrous" (as in ridiculous) and not "ludacris" (as in rapper Chris Bridges)!

So, yes, there is a prerequisite to join Gonzo 2.0: Don't leave your grammar (or your brain, for that matter) at the door!