The Chronicle of a Reformed Feminist Killjoy

Companionless Consuming

Every Saturday I work 5:30am until 8pm. That is a long fucking day in case you cannot do simple math.

I’ve been doing this for almost a year now and it took me several months to not take the common parting wish, “Have a nice weekend!” as a personal slap in the face. I do get a three hour break in between my two shifts where I usually eat lunch at a local sushi restaurant, alone. At first I think the waitstaff felt bad for me, but eventually they got use to it.

I eat out alone a lot.

I am a full time student, a full time worker, a tutor, and an intern. I do not have time to call a friend up for lunch and given that I do not cook, my alternative to eating out alone is to starve.I very rarely feel odd about my habit. I usually find it relaxing in fact, but today as my lovely waitress sat me in my usual area, there was a male, about my age, sitting directly to my left who was also eating alone.

I felt odd for a few reasons: 1. Eating alone, at separate tables just seamed peculiar and I almost asked if he wanted to join me. It was like seeing two puzzle pieces sitting near each other and just leaving them there. The compulsive part of my personality just does not allow that. 2. We kept making awkward eye contact, where we both wanted to say something nice, or witty, but then decided to just stuff our faces in heavy silence.

I sort of felt bad for him for a moment until I remembered that I was doing the same thing and that both of us were being scrutinized by the couple out to eat in sweatpants.

I thought to myself and firmly decided that on any given day I would rather eat alone than dine out with someone wearing sweatpants.