That certainly escalated quickly. The insane “mom” stuff is beyond snark or parody at this point, as Batty’s endless quest to re-live and bask in the glory of his “Lisa’s Story” heyday has him turning every character in Les’ orbit into Lisa-worshiping drones who never, ever stop singing her praises and spreading The Word. Obviously Boy Lisa has no idea what Lisa would have thought of Cayla, as he barely even knew her and not only that, “what Lisa thinks about Cayla” has already been (ahem) adequately covered.

In “real life” Darin’s friends and family would probably be growing quite concerned regarding his bizarre Lisa obsession. Wandering around Westview talking about her, giving a huge cash windfall to a Lisa charity, always referring to her as “mom” as if she raised him, it’s very peculiar behavior. What kind of father with a child Skyler’s age has time to meander around to book signings on a whim? What did he do, arrive at his parent’s or in law’s house and announce that he was going out to pay tribute to his “real” mother now? It’s deranged.

23 responses to “My Mother The Trilogy”

The eight circle of hell (fraud) is Durwood wistfully referring to Lisa as “mom”.

The ninth circle of hell (treachery) is Durwood spending his Christmas vacation with Les, Cayla, and probably Funky and Holly instead of his wife, son, and the parents who adopted him, gave him a good home, and raised him to adulthood who, by the way, live mere miles away from his present location.

The tenth circle of hell (Durwood visiting Les at a book signing) is Durwood visiting Les at a book signing…

There he will see the three mouths of Les, endlessly chewing over the three aspects of Lisa, mousy highschool maid, pixie cut lawyer mother, and withered bald cancer crone. He rolls and mashes her around in his smug grinning mouths, full of nothing but HER for eternity.

“It’s such an honor to have one of Lisa’s heirs here at the shrine! You’ve done so, so much to spread the legacy of her Trilogy!”

“Thank you, kind disciple. Lisa would have approved of you and deemed you worthy.”

It’s getting really creepy in a strange messianic sort of way I’m not entirely comfortable with. Then there’s the flip side of this warped new reality.

“He leaves you alone with his son after that long plane ride to go hang around with that smug annoying cancer book guy? First that comic book money, now this “mom” business…what’s gotten into that husband of yours? Is it drugs? Drugs are all over Hollywood, you know.”

“I DUNNO MA, WE’RE WORKING ON IT! I’M A GROWN WOMAN NOW AND I DON’T NEED YOU TELLING ME….SKYLER! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!!!!”

Here’s a question that’s bothered me for ten years and running; WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS SO FUCKING GREAT ABOUT LISA FUCKING MOORE IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, HUH?

This is because it’s bad enough that Darrin make himself an asshole over a woman he barely knew in real life because biology somehow trumps decency. What makes it worse is that Lisa was pretty damned generic when she was alive. While it’s true that the reason she and Les didn’t get married sooner is that he was too stupid to read social cues and brainlessly and gutlessly failed to seize the moment, she wasn’t that much smarter, she was a mediocrity as a lawyer, she enabled the dolt as shamelessly as Cayla and (here’s the clincher) died theatrically and left her nitwit husband in the lurch despite the fact that taking chemo would have put her cancer back in remission again for another ten or fifteen years.

I think Saint Dead Lisa is so SPESHULLLLLL because she was the first and only girl to achnowledge Les’s existence in high school. (Of course, now that he has that sexy goatee, specs, and receding hairline, women of all ages and descriptions are all over him!) Other than that, she was mousy and dull.

Of course it will be left on the grave instead of given to a child who would use and enjoy it. Because Batiuk would rather focus on what was lost rather than use that loss to spread ripples of good forward in the world. Why do you think he never shows (hahahahaha, I mean “tells,” since he hardly shows anything) how the funds raised in Dead St. Lisa’s name are being put to use?

“Drop by and see Les at his book signing”? I’m not a fancy self-published Kent State Press author, but shouldn’t Les be going to other places to sign books for people other than the ones he’s known for all his life?

Wow as noted this is Cult level creepy – one gets the very bad feeling that if Boy Lisa (who seems to outrank Cayla) had decided that Lisa would not have approved of Cayla then he would have had no choice but to kill her and leave her body at the foot of the Statue of Dear St. Lisa that Les carved out of butter as a sacrifice
And later when Les comes home and Boy Lisa is still there
“What did you do to my wife!?!”
“Lisa told me she was not worthy.”
“Oh that’s alright then.”

Why did BatHack hire Birchy to draw for him? Wouldn’t you have thought a new artist would be brought in to IMPROVE the artwork, and not be inconsistent and make all the dumb mistakes Batty makes? I mean, Flunky and Pa Bean STILL appear to be the same age! If anything, Pops looks better than Flunky.