A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

"Rove Begins Blog Takeover"

Take a look at Ug the Caveman above on the computer. That is actually the image many KOmmies have of conservatives on the Internet. According to the LATEST hype, conservatives are uncomfortable using the science of the Internet in general and the Blogs in particular. As a result, it is the "progressives" that are taking the lead in the Blogosphere. Of course, REALITY tells a much different story when you actually LOOK at what are the leading Blogs: HOT AIR, MICHELLE MALKIN, little green footballs, Instapundit.COM, and many, many more such CONSERVATIVE Blogs. And technically speaking The Daily Kos isn't even a Blog. It is a Web FORUM and the FREE REPUBLIC, was already there first with vastly more influence. And I cite a "progressive" expert on just how influential conservative Blogs and Forums are: Mary Mapes. Here is what Ms Mapes herself has to SAY on the CONSERVATIVE Blogs that brought down both Dan Rather and Herself at See-BS when their fake document scam was uncovered:

Within a few minutes, I was online visiting Web sites I had never heard of before: Free Republic, Little Green Footballs, Power Line. They were hard-core, politically angry, hyperconservative sites loaded with vitriol about Dan Rather and CBS. Our work was being compared to that of Jayson Blair, the discredited New York Times reporter who had fabricated and plagiarized stories.

All these Web sites had extensive write-ups on the documents: on typeface, font style, and peripheral spacing, material that seemed to spring up overnight. It was phenomenal. It had taken our analysts hours of careful work to make comparisons. It seemed that these analysts or commentators---or whatever they were---were coming up with long treatises in minutes. They were all linking to one another, creating an echo chamber of outraged agreement.

Not only did the CONSERVATIVE Blogosphere (and the Free Republic Forum) bring down Mary and Danny, but they may well have kept Mrs. Heinz's Toyboy from being elected when the fake documents were exposed. Strange but I have YET to hear of anything even remotely influential being originated in the "progressive blogosphere." However, that won't keep the KOmmies from swallowing their own hype and patting themselves on the back for having some sort of influence that exists only in the minds of MSM hype writers. The latest self-delusion comes in this KOmmie THREAD titled, "Rove Begins Blog Takeover." The hilarious premise of the KOmmie author, Detroit Mark, is that Karl Rove is so threatened by the "progressive" Blogosphere that he is going to take over the entire Blogosphere in some sort of Rovian power play. So let us now watch the KOmmies perform a hype swallowing act in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, giving a shout out to Ug the rightwing caveman blogger, is in the [brackets]:

Rove Begins Blog Takeover

[A simple task for the ALL-POWERFUL Rove.]

Well, we knew this wouldn't take long. Karl Rove saw the blogosphere taking on a decidedly progressive bend. And when the beast sees a threat, it eats it. That's what he's now attempting to do. So suggests an article appearing in Friday's Raw Story. This may be an excellent prototype exercise for progressives to finally cut their teeth on to How The Left Slays The Beast.

[Raw Story: A source as credible as TruthOut.]

We know his formula. It's not like he's creative enough to come up with something new. What he does is what the religious right has done for millennia: Wait for something new to come along that offends ... and absorb it. As pagen holidays became christian ones ... as the Pledge of Allegience became a "prayer" ... so does Rove intend to simply assimilate the Blogosphere out of existence. Let's examine the wording.

[Wasn't this already a movie: "Godzilla Swallows The Blogosphere."]

"I do also think that the Internet has proven to be a more powerful tool on our side than it has been for the other side,"

[And Mary Mapes AGREES with Rove.]

Ok, of course that's horseshit. The right has scarcely even begun to exploit the internet as progressives have. They've been so mesmerized by the success of a fast-fading AM Radio, that they let the technology of the Blog slip right by them. They were banking on us becoming a laughing stock and falling on our asses.

But the unprecedented success of Yearly Kos was like a cold slap in Rove's razor-burned face by a hand soaked in alcohol. All you have to do to prove that out is count how many times Oxy-Clean Limbaugh, and White Hood Hannity have moaned about what a failure it was. He knew he had to act, and act fast to stem the tidal wave of Progressive Popularity.

[Quick Rove! Stamp out the "progressive" blogosphere! The Stratosphere Chocolate Fountain at the Yearly Kos was such a success that it MUST be stamped out!]

So he simply makes the utterly false assertion that the right has been here all along. Just that statement alone will be ... I say again ... will be accepted as fact.

[Stand by to see what Rovian statement has all the KOmmies up in arms.]

"It has proven to be a tool on our side to sort of unite Conservatives and have a healthy intra-movement dialogue," Rove explained. "But it's essentially been something that has helped us gain in influence and broaden our appeal."

"Among Democrats, my sense is that the blog world has tended to strengthen the far Left of the Democratic Party at the expense of liberal, but somewhat less liberal, members of their party,"

[GASP!!! The OUTRAGE!!! How DARE he state the obvious! I say Karl Rove MUST be indicted for REAL!]

He has created the false impression that not only has the fringe right "used the power of the internet for good," but that Progressives simply use it as a place to lance boils, and plot church burnings.

[Great job there of putting words in Rove's mouth that he did NOT speak. However, what he ACTUALLY SAID is TRUE. The Blog World does give voice to the LOONY LEFT at the expense of any rational thinking.]

It's not only laughable because the only dangerously hateful group is the one Rove represents. But also because he creates within that statement the illusion that being "angry" about illegal wars, and illegal spying, and illegal money laundering, and illegal fund raising, and illegally expanding presidential power to create a kind of aristocracy not seen since the word 'aristocracy' was first uttered ... is somehow a bad character trait.

[Being insanely blind with rage is a GOOD character trait...according to the KOmmies.]

And all he does is ... say it.

["So let IT be said, so let IT be done," said the Pharoah guy to Big Mo.]

Why has it always worked for the Beast? Because no one has ever said anything back. No, what we do on the left is wait until we see the public buying this horseshit and all we can manage to drool off our lips is a meager, "Unh uh! That's a lie!"

[We must REACT 24/7 the INSTANT Rove says anything. Let us become even MORE obsessive over Karl Rove.]

The antidote to this rovian technique seems obvious to me: An equal and opposite force! Rove knows that perception eventually becomes the collective reality.

["Perception becomes the collective reality." Can I laminate that and place it in my wallet?]

Who will say it? Who will gain the attention of a national network television camera and say ... proudly, and loudly:

["I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO STAY SANE ANY LONGER!!!"]

"Well the reason the internet has worked so well for us Progressives is because we pioneered the use of it. And we are able to use it in a constructive and creative way to expand our base, and exchange ideas. The problem for the right is that they're still kind of diddling with scratchy old AM radio, which is unfortunately kind of like comparing an Ipod with an 8-track tape."

[Oh yeah. I forgot all about how Al Gore invented the Internet.]

Yes. It's a talking point. Just as what the beast has uttered is a talking point. The difference is that mine is so chock full of truth it would make the Beast's butthole pucker like a toddler that was just spoonfed a half bottle of concentrated ReaLemon and alum powder. Which is precisely how you will know his nut has been cracked. His code has been broken. His jig is up. And we do it every time. When he lies ... state the exact opposite. If he says it twice ... we say it three times. Sure, it's machievillian. Unfortunately it's what this dog-and-pony show, the Bush Crime Family, has successfully trained more than just a few to respond to.

[Coming soon to your local movie theater: "Exorcist V: Mark of the Rovian Beast," starring the brave Detroit Mark as the KOmmie Excorcist who finally figured out the formula to rid us of the Demon Rove that has possessed out national soul.]

I guarantee that when the day comes that two or three of our best orators start attacking him at his own game, it will be like reading the directions for a David Blane illusion, and the whole world will groan out a collective, disinterested, "Oooohhhh, is that all there was to this asshole? And we were actually buying that 'political genius' crap!!"

At any rate ... it's time to stop being "baffled" by his bullshit spin techniques, and just start using his own medicine to smack him right in his fat, smug face.

[Oooooh!!! How BRAVE you are, Detroit Mark! You are the BRAVEST of the Keyboard KOmmandos in the land. Now go to your basement door. Mommy is about to shove your pizza dinner thru the food slot.]

To metaphorically coin a phrase of Alice in Wonderland's Queen of Hearts ... "Off with his head!!!"

[Or ACTUALLY quoting the late (thanx to Bush & Co.) Al-Zarqawi. And now to read the rants of Detroit Mark's equally delusional KOmmies...]

The Democratic blogosphere isn't powerful because of perception. It's powerful because of organization and information exchange. Karl can't change that by making slanderous claims.

[SUE Rove for saying that the Blogosphere allows the "progressives" to show themselves as the loons they are!]

Based on Rove's comments, I truly think he doesn't get the danger the Democratic blogosphere poses to his movement's dominance.

[You mean the KOmmies are going to blindside the ALL-POWERFUL Rove?]

The tact is... when he goes on the attack ... we counter attack ... immediately. When he says "we do a better job at the blogs" on two interviews, we say "the republicans have failed to speak to the people and listen to what they have to say, whereas the Progressives have made such great strides because we blog and we listen, and we talk" on FIVE interviews. He farts ... we spray a whole bottle of Febreeze.

[He spits... we make a giant doodie in our pants.]

attack first ... Attack first with the nastiest, meanest, most truthful and hurtful truths about the Republicans. Start with the epedemic of obesity. These folks have many deep pyschological and moral and ethical problems.I think it is higly significant and symbolic that for the first time in America's history, the children of the next generation will have a life expectancy less than their mothers and fathers. This is due to the epedemic of obesity. Isn't that what this sickness, this epidemic of Republicanism is all about, overindulgence and greed? Sick, dysfunctional, greedy and taking us all to hell with them. Write diaries about the "truth" of this perception, get media attention on this issue. Make it simple and easy to see. Obesity and sickness=Republicans

[Until recently, Democrats were attacking Republicans for starving the cheeeeeldrun. Now they are slamming the Republicans for causing kids to eat too much. Get your delusional attacks in synch.]

Of course, Randi Rhodes and Janeane Garofalo (sorry if I butchered the spelling) have been doing a fantastic job saying "KKKarl isn't a genius. He's a CHEAT! A genius is someone who can 'win' while playing within the rules. KKKarl just cheats and bullies his way to a win. There's nothing genius about that." I like to hear it when they say it. And I think it should be said over and over and over and over again.

[Randi Rhodes and Janeane Garofalo: two of the more prominent members of the sanity challenged community.]

Look, isn't it about time we revoked Karl's boogeyman credentials? He's nothing. He, along with the entire gop are fast becoming an irrelevancy.

[Strange how your fellow KOmmies are completely OBSESSED by these "irrelevancies."]

The left blogosphere is the crack in the sky that the Fascist need to repair. The truth is leaking out of this crack and as we all know totalitarians HATE the truth. Karl Rove now vindicated by the phony investigation into HIS leaking Valerie Plame's name to the world has returned to smash anyone who dares speak truth to power ( BU$HCO .) We live in one of the scariest times in American history right now and these sites are in the bullseye along with every last one of us. These sites are to be priced under just like any candidates that they don't like. Speech isn't free in America it costs big bucks. Karl and Corp mafia are intent on smashing the Internet and turning it into just another strictly policed shopping mall for the BIG Int'l Corps. You come here to shop and leave. Oh or visit the right wing blogosphere sponsered by GE, or The American Enterprise Institute or Microsoft etc. Left wing blogs need not apply as any speech they don't like will be punished. In other words the Internet as Bu$hCo campaign rally. Get ready for it folks it's coming soon. We'll all say our good-byes and then be scattered and invisible. See we now live in the "OWNERSHIP SOCIETY" where they ( the repukes et al.) own everything including (sic) freedom.

[The left blogosphere is more like a crack in a pimpled butt and something more brown colored is leaking out of that crack.]

One thing is clear. Rove is in charge. When Rove starts attacking to blogs as part of his "talking points," the whole republican noise machine is going to follow suit. We'll hear it on Rush, O'Reilly, Hannity (hell, all of Fox News), the SInclair owned local TV stations, the National Review and other right wing mags, etc, etc.

[So far the only attack on the blogs is coming from the Left. Just ask Mary Mapes and Dan Rather their opinions of blogs.]

The big problem with the rightwing having blogs is that blogs are a free flow of information and ideas. The Republicans cannot afford that if they want to keep people ignorant and subservient. They need to control the message strictly and precisely. Apparently there was a GOP blog that was sponsored by the party but they had to take it down because posters kept deviating from the talking points. They would need an army of mindless bloggers that blew smoke up each other's ass all day, and that would never stand with anyone of character or substance. You can't even disagree on their end without being attacked personally. There is no exchange of ideas, just rhetoric and Rovian spin. And so, I think the wingnuts are doomed to fail in the blogosphere.

[I was only able to commence with this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies AFTER my GOP talking points were delivered by special messenger.]

Angry as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

[Please proceed with the Primal Scream.]

Great point! We should find a word to describe the right wing "blogs."

bLIEosphere

Blindosphere Sheeposphere

Wingnutsphere

Obediosphere

Vapidsphere

Mindlessphere

Compliasphere

Obsequiousphere

Subservisphere

Robotosphere

Fearosphere

Terrorsphere

Creeposphere

[It sounds like you downed a few too many scotches at Mark Warner's Stratosphere.]

That is the KEY!!!! Their mindless followers can't stay on point. Their message is so full of lies and contradictions that people must be well schooled in the double-speak and therefore it is a virual impossiblity that their crazy ideas can survive in an open forum discusion. Left to their own devices most people will come to pretty practical conclusions - practical, reality-based - all that stuff is big time danger zone for the GOP of the Early 21st Century.

[They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate KEY to the wardroom icebox DID exist...]

So, how to stop him? If he wants to silence us, how do we stop him?

[Only by casting the Rovian Ring of Power into the volcanic flames of Mt. Doom, my little KObbit.]

There is nothing they can throw at us that can't be overcome with a shitty attitude.

[And you KOmmies are doing a great job of attaining that attitude.]

The GOP has been able to create an impression that the blogs on the right are legit while the ones on the left are a bunch of kooks.

[My own technical method for making the "blogs" (actually forums) on the left look like a bunch of kooks is called "copy & paste" such as what I am doing with YOU.]

Rove remains dangerous and not because he's brilliant, but because, as someone else said, he's without a conscience. He's a sociopath, quite literally, a little Nazi. I don't think I'm engaging in hyperbole. Karl Rove is to Bu$h as Joseph Goebbels was to Hitler. He's a master propagandist.Nothing sticks to him. Whatever kind of deal he cut with Fitzgerald, it sure looks like he's getting off scot-free. He'll never be held accountable. Whether it be the blogsphere he's setting his sights on or anything else, it doesn't matter if the Left has truth and the "American way" or anything else on its side. As long as the Right has Rove, it's their ballgame (and our country) to lose. Waiting around till 2008 IS NOT an option. These people are not going to go quietly, and even if they go, Rove will still be pulling strings and carrying on the campaign. Rove is a Traitor. Rove is a Liar. Rove is a Traitor. Rove is a Liar. . .

[...Spaketh the straitjacketed KOmmie from the Rubber Room.]

What will it take to exorcise This fat-ass vile gnome from the mess that is today's American Politic? Is he an evil genius? Or has he somehow hit a nerve with the rest of evil fat-assed gnome America? The sonofabitch lies, and twists, and spins, and people just lap it up. I want to see this manipulative bastard spinning and twisting at the end of a rope. No way he co-opts the blogosphere. Very few people that know their ass from their elbow read or post at Hot-Air or Footballs and the like. The echo-chamber is as big as it's gonna get, and boring as hell. When I was a kid, and someone wanted to fight in the halls of Junior High - a shove and a loud "choose-off" was usually enough to start a physical confrontation. Choose-Off Karl, you little wimp You're gonna get your ass kicked.

[Not too obsessed with Karl Rove, are we? And I bet you wake up every morning with your lips cursing the name of Rove.]

Red state America is an alternative universe. They are provincial and isolated. I grew up in a really red state. But I've been living in a blue. I travel a lot. They don't usually venture out of their town and immediate area. They think if they get on an airplane they will die. Where my parents live there is no cable yet, and no internet, unless you do dial up. And getting a computer is considered expensive and just not a necessity anyway.

[Red State Ug too stupid to know about computers. Ug never leaves his cave. Ug has no cable or internet or electricity. Ug heap big scared of airplanes. Ug just know how to rub sticks together to make fire to cook chunk of meat and let grease drip on hairy arms and chest.]

The fact that we are even talking about this means we are reacting. We are spending way too much time on defending ourselves and trying to pump ourselves up.

[It's called navel self-analysis.]

If you are arguing that the right has failed in its use of blogs, I believe you are wrong because there is a large number of right wing blogs available and actively used.

[And this KOmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I hope the Republicans invest a ton of money into internet blogging. Most of the people I know that vote Republican don't read.

[Ug not know how to read. Only can follow simple hand signals.]

The right's got control of print, tv and radio. Why? Because money controls those media. Well the internet is free baby. So F*CK HIM! All us poor ass liberals can post diaries on here telling the truth about his fascist party. And no need to troll, cause we'll f*cking thrash you! This country is liberal and will become liberal again via the internet! The revolution has begun and they can't stop it!!

[Repeat that delusional hype enough times and you might actually start believing it.]

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19 Comments:

Red state America is an alternative universe. They are provincial and isolated. I grew up in a really red state. But I've been living in a blue. I travel a lot. They don't usually venture out of their town and immediate area. They think if they get on an airplane they will die. Where my parents live there is no cable yet, and no internet, unless you do dial up. And getting a computer is considered expensive and just not a necessity anyway.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! This guy seriously needs to shut the hell up for stupidity. Honestly, I'm flabberghasted. Does he expect anyone to believe in this tripe? Every single red state has access to computers (uh....they don't cost anymore in North Carolina as they do in Florida). This is just pure bulls%^&.

One of the things that strikes me about the hard left as exhibited by the obsessive post you've deconstructed here, is the relentlessness of that obsession.

I guess one working theory would be that the Left, being very susceptible to the "strongman" personality--all the really *successful* Leftists in world history have been thugs after all--they project that onto everyone else.

Thus this obsession with Rove. I mean, who is Karl Rove, really? He's just one more White House operative. I guess in the Clinton White House, they had James Carville as an opposite number.

But I don't recall even the most obsessive FReepers (e.g.) going on about Carville this way. Sure, they made fun of him. Limbaugh came up with "Serpenthead." But sheesh, Carville was actually at Limbaugh's WEDDING, fer cryin' out loud (or one of them, anyway).

I think the Left sees Rove as a Mao Tse Tung character, or Josef Stalin during the Lenin-Trotsky years. They really have no frame of reference that says "hey, just another political operative on the conservative side, like we have political operatives on our side."

I actually think this is a GOOD thing.

Remember the wonderful film "Patton" starring George C. Scott? One powerful theme of the story is how Patton was used as a sort of "Macguffin" to fake out the German High Command. The Germans (or Hitler, anyway) were so focused on the awesome power that Patton seemingly commanded, that they were completely taken in by the Normandy invasion. The German 15th Army was kept in Calais by Hitler to counter the "real invasion" led by Patton that he was sure was coming.

The Hard Left is pretty easy to manipulate that way. Let 'em obsess about Rove, while the real power--the grassroots--gets the work done.

LOL! Here in Australia we call their sort of crap "pissing in your own pocket", which is a quaintly Australian piece of slang that means "flattering oneself". Look at the way they carry on about how important the progressive yawn-o-sphere, i mean blogosphere, is and how on-the-ball they were to seize the intarweb's opportunities. It's all self-flattery designed to flatter their own egos.

It cracks me up that these radical kooks don't think the conservative blogosphere has done anything. Like PJ said....remember Rathergate? Let's also not forget it was because of us that Harriet Miers was trashed for a more conservative Alito. Now, tell me one thing the left side has accomplished politically?

Reading their ravings is proof (as if any more was needed) that Rove3 doesn't need to play them, they can handle that entirely on their own.That whole transformation from "Respond immediately but with twice as much" into "Pre-emptive strike with overwhelming BS" (but how do they know what to strike first about?) shows the depth of stupid.Speaking of the "depth of stupid," that stupid bimbo's claims to be up on the technical end of her See-BS story is particularly hard to buy since she doesn't appear to know the difference between "proportional spacing" (which is what is involved in the forged TANG memos) and "peripheral spacing" (which isn't). It's like fingernails on a blackboard to see stupid that strong in print...it's seared into my mind, seared, I tell you!

You guys don't see it, but I think that in 8, maybe 9 years, they may actually garner enough persuasuve power to have someone they support actually get elected!... I mean, they're 0-20 now, so they're WAY overdue.

But I have to agree with other commenters: even for DUmmies (and KOmmies), this thread is a startling contrast with factual reality.

Can ANYBODY - and I urge liberal trolls to comment! - point me to even ONE actual real-world effect liberal blogs have had? Just one?

I can name DOZENS of successes that conservative blogs have had. RATHERgate is just the most obvious. From Harriet Meirs to the Dubai ports deal to the emphasis on immigration to actuall successes in several elections ... right down to (truth)outing Jason Leopold, the right side of the blogs actually DOES something.

Other than working very hard to NOT get people elected, have liberal blogs done ANYTHING?

Just curious. If somebody can come up with something, post it. The closest I could come was MAYBE giving Ned Lamont in CT a little more exposure (via that priceless Mentos commercial). But he's still gonna get slaughtered by Leiberman.

In short, I end up with the same question I always have about liberals: how can they completely ignore facts in favor of their own invented reality?

"[Only by casting the Rovian Ring of Power into the volcanic flames of Mt. Doom, my little KObbit.]"

G*damnit PJ, you owe me a mouth full of Scotch and a new keyboard! You could use some lessons from good ol Al Frunkin about the proper use of humor...or the lack thereof...in order to preserve good booze and cheap electronics!

(Ok, I'm full of shit...I'll pay for everything...NO AL FRUNKINASSHOLE!!)

Did anybody notice how many times these utter morons described themselves but pretended they were describing republicans? I lost count after about 400 times or so... (OK a slight exaggeration...)

Some of my favorites (once taken out of context and occasionally edited for accuracy):"fat, smug face." -- desribes Michael MOORE-ON to a T..."The Democratic blogosphere isn't powerful" -- you got that right, it sure isn't..."the [DUmmies] have failed to speak to the people and listen to what they have to say" -- right again!"[The DNC] just cheats and bullies [its] way to a win." -- stop insulting yourselves!"He, along with the entire [DNC] are fast becoming an irrelevancy." -- may this prove true... PLEASE!"The truth is leaking out of this crack and as we all know totalitarians HATE the truth." -- I'd be careful about insulting yourselves like this if I were you..."We'll all say our good-byes and then be scattered and invisible." -- may this quickly prove true... PLEASE!!!"The [DNC] cannot afford that if they want to keep people ignorant and subservient. They need to control the message strictly and precisely." -- that's your job, idiot, why aren't you doing it??"They would need an army of mindless bloggers that blew smoke up each other's ass all day" -- quit describing yourselves, it's embarassing!"You can't even disagree on their end without being attacked personally." -- ditto."There is no exchange of ideas, just rhetoric and [idiotarian] spin." -- ditto."bLIEosphere" -- ditto."Blindosphere Sheeposphere" -- ditto."Mindlessphere" -- ditto."Robotosphere" -- ditto."Creeposphere" -- ditto."Their message is so full of lies and contradictions... [and] crazy ideas..." -- ditto.Guys, seriously now, QUIT describing yourselves so well! You might make us realize that you guys are pathetic brainless losers!"[Kos] remains dangerous and not because he's brilliant, but because ... he's without a conscience." -- Hey now, it's not polite to insult the great leader that way!"I want to see this manipulative bastard spinning and twisting at the end of a rope." -- Kos, you put up with people talking about you like that?"[Blue] state America is an alternative universe." -- stop it stop it you're making me hurt from too much laughing!!!"We are spending way too much time on ... trying to pump ourselves up." -- I didn't realize you were inflatable...

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I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
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