19 Reasons to Live Alone

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Hey, bye summer. You will forever be associated with death in my memory, but it's still too bad you were so short. Also, a bit cool. Not a lot of great river tubing weekends. Summer 2009: When Not Bringing Death, Still Disappointing Me with Unfavorable Temperatures!

So where were we. There was that wedding; that happened and was lovely. There is another wedding next weekend, which means another outing for the happy green dress. And TOMORROW. Well, tomorrow is kickball prom. Oh yes. For which I have purchased ANOTHER dress, but I got this one at Ragstock for $12 so it's not quite time for me to join Dress-Fiends Anonymous. This one is red. It has poofy sleeves and there's a bow on the heinie and a bit of a train. It's pretty much the most tasteful thing there ever was, and if you'd like to see it you are cordially invited to come by Painter Park tomorrow night around 7:00. I can't say much about my kickball skills, but in the field of fashion I am about to bring it.

In other upcoming events, the final Uptown Market of the season is on September 20th. This thing has been the happy standout of my summer. I'll admit, when we first started talking about it, I wasn't entirely confident it was really going to happen. But then stuff kept chugging and chugging and we have had one, two, three events now, and people seem to like them and our vendors keep coming back, and when the markets are going on I look around at all the tents up and down the street and think, "Hey! I totally helped to do this!" And later I look at our Flickr stream and it's just this giantgiantwarmfuzzy. So yeah. That is happening. And we have some big ideas for next year, but regardless of what happens with that, I will forever be so proud of what we've pulled off this summer.

Well anyway, that's the update. And oh, I'm tweeting now, because I was looking for a new way to be obnoxious. So in between posts here, there may be tweets there, and that is how I will bare my life until they invent a way for everyone to post their genome map on the interweb, and then I'll do that and say hey everyone, look at me, me, me.

Monday, August 3, 2009

I'm pleased to report that I have now purchased a bright green dress with a totally inappropriate neckline, which I will wear to a wedding on Saturday. Thank you, Miranda and Scott, for scheduling a happy occasion. It is much needed.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

A few months ago I bought a black dress with a modest, funeral-appropriate neckline, knowing that I would need it and that when the time came I probably wouldn't feel like shopping. And yes, I have needed it, along with the modest, funeral-appropriate blouse ("blouse," eww) I also bought when I realized that these things sometimes involve visitations the night before. And on Tuesday I will need it again, and woe is me, whine whine whine, I guess the events themselves should help me keep things in perspective in regard to my depression about having attended so many.

I was thinking the other day about all the sad/lovely things that accompany losing someone and making peace with that. Wearing of their jewelry. Having dreams in which you're talking to them, and they're well and lucid and calm. Waking up and feeling comforted despite the lump in your throat.

At my grandma's service in California last weekend (a non-traditional affair, delayed to allow people to make travel plans), my aunt brought this goofy headband with pinwheels on springs, which she then made someone wear when she had a hard time getting through her speech. And it helped. Sad and lovely.

Everyone is in agreement that hospice is wonderful, or mostly wonderful, until the waiting drives you crazy and you just want it to be over, except you don't really want it to be over. But these places have well-appointed libraries. And, if you're lucky, a slide-top freezer with an excellent selection of ice cream novelties. If you weren't there for the reason you were there, it would be an awesome place to hang out.

In the past I have made attempts to rehabilitate clothing that has become associated with bad things; e.g. "This is the sweater I was wearing when I got dumped, and I'm going to wear it to the party on Friday because I'll have fun there, and then this sweater will no longer only remind me of getting dumped." But I think the funeral dress will always remain the funeral dress. It's not like I have many other occasions in my life that call for a dress that dull, which is a good thing I suppose.

But the funeral dress is short-sleeved, so nobody fucking die in winter, okay? Or at all, for that matter. Everyone eat veggies and quit smoking, seriously, thanks. I'm getting a little too practiced at all of this.

Friday, June 5, 2009

There is a plan, you guys. There is a plan in the works to go on an adorable little Midwestern getaway. With a BOY. Well, a man. If I took a boy over state lines for this gig, I believe that would be a federal offense.

But anyway. Ummm... there is gonna be a CABIN, and a LAKE, and a FIREPLACE, and all kinds of just nauseatingly bucolic stuff. Which I am probably jinxing by writing about. And the lady still needs to send me the address to send the check to, and I will feel much better when that's actually done and the thing is like officially confirmed. I can't relax without being confirmed.

My inability to relax is a key contributor to my need to go on this trip.

Is it slightly smug to be writing about my upcoming mini-vacation with my fellow? Yes. But please remember that another vacation of mine in the not-too-distant past involved sitting on my couch for a week, watching "The Wire," probably eating Doritos. I have paid into the "pathetic loser" bank for quite some time. Now I am making a withdrawal.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Oh hai. I’ve been away for a bit. Not like... physically away from the computer or anything, just away from le blog, because it seemed for a while that there was nothing I could write about that would be honest, because frankly a lot of things have been very sad and I didn’t know how much of that I wanted to put in here. And things still are sad, but there are happy things too, and hey it’s like summer now, so why don’t I cheer up a bit.

Sad things: A few months ago my grandma in California was diagnosed with cancer and given a pretty grim prognosis. Very shortly after that, my grandma in South Dakota was also diagnosed with cancer, and I don’t even know if they bothered to give her a prognosis because by the time they found it it was everywhere and she died pretty quickly after that. On the 15th, specifically. So there’s that. And there were actually a lot of things that were very okay about it. She didn’t seem to mind that much; she had Alzheimer’s and this came at a time when she was still mostly herself, but aware of the fact that soon she wouldn’t be, and my grandpa died nine years ago, so I think she felt this was a fine time to go. I hope that when it’s my turn I will be similarly pulled together.

I went back to work last Thursday and managed to be pretty okay with the saying hi to everyone and opening the nice card they gave me. But then our VP stopped by to say he was sorry, and added, “Grandmas are important,” and I almost bawled right in front of him, because yeah, they are. That sums it up nicely.

Okay, but other things, happy things, let’s make a list: 1. Brendan was named a Pulitzer finalist. And also won some fancy-pants award from Columbia. This is a happy thing in that a) I know him and I like to brag about it, b) it’s wonderful for him, obviously, and should help him go places at a time when journalists are finding that hard to do, and c) should he ever write me a letter of recommendation, my letter will SO beat any competitor’s. SUCK IT, THEORETICAL COMPETITORS.

2. My friend Roxie is starting an art fair/farmer’s market Uptown; I and a posse of helpers have been pitching in, and it’s looking like this thing is actually going to happen. We’ve been working with city hall and the neighborhood boards and it’s all official-like. We’re still taking vendors, and we’ll need volunteers, and we’ll need people to come and actually shop at this thing, so put it on your calendars, y’all. The first one is on Father’s Day, you can totally bring your dad and then go have a few beers at the Herkimer, YOUR DAD WILL LOVE IT.

3. Kickball starts this week.

4. It’s nice out.

5. I still have a job.

6. Hey, this is probably obnoxious to announce on my blog, but I totally started dating this guy in December and he’s totally my boyfriend. And today we assembled an Ikea bookshelf in under two hours, and that goes on the list of happy things. And so does he. He can juggle and stuff. He’s very talented. WHAT. SHUT UP.

7. My brother finished school. If anyone knows of any guitar repair/luthier job openings, he would love to know about it.

8. I made an awesome pasta salad yesterday.

Obviously, I’m supposed to be writing something else right now. I am clearly incompetent at the aforementioned job that I still have. Anyway, I’m back and stuff.

Dear Valued Patient,Working in partnership with our patients has always been part of our mission. In these difficult economic times, the need for that partnership is even more apparent. Obstetrics and Gynecology Specialists is taking a step to acknowledge the current state of our economy and increasing numbers of uninsured women. For 2009, Obstetrics and Gynecology Specialists will be offering a low-cost preventive GYN visit to current established patients who have lost their insurance coverage. Our physicians have agreed to donate the entire cost of their visit fee. Women will receive a free pap smear and other preventive labs at a reduced fee. We are pleased to be able to take this step in helping our patients stay up to date with their important preventive care. Preserving health through prevention is a cornerstone of our practice. Please call our Edina office at xxx.xxx.xxxx or our Burnsville office at xxx.xxx.xxxx for more information.

This is the same doctor's office that sent me the results of my last pap smear in a letter that said - and I don't remember exactly, but it was short so this is really close -Dear Kate:Your pap smear was abnormal. It is not cancerous or precancerous.