Microfiche, and its close cousin microfilm, have been around for years. They are valuable research and archive sources in libraries around the world. A microfiche is a 4 by 5 inch (10.2 by 15.2 cm) piece of photographic film, containing printed information in a size too small to be seen by the naked eye. Books, journals and magazines are often archived on microfiche. The advent of microfiche allowed libraries to carry printed resources they would otherwise never have the floor or storage space to hold.

{/corey}

That being said, I like my fish baked—never micro’d. I hate the soggy factor.

Regarding its selling points: It may be minty but I have to admit my conversations would never be so desperate as to need to involve this dust-collecting monstrosity.

I think you’re underestimating the conversational power of the microfiche machine, Dr. mudslicker. I used to keep one prominently displayed in my living room for when I had girls over. They’d be all, “ooh, a microfiche machine! Do you happen to have any old volumes of the LA Times on there?” And I’d be all, yeah, right here, lemme show you how to scroll through… You can imagine what happens next.

I pull out my Edison Cylinder, put it in the phonograph, and start spinning it; faster and faster until it begins emitting sound. Then, slowly, I begin to pull the cover off my typewriter, exposing every key one at a time. After I’ve bared my typewriter, I reach upwards and grip my stereocope, letting the 3d images fall upon your yearning eyes for only a fleeting, yet sensual moment. Sensing your growing excitment, I walk over to my daguerreotype camera, and in a flash, it’s over.

Bacontini is vehemently opposed to such disgraceful filth being posted here by one such as you, so called TacomMmagic! It is offensive, derrogatory, entirely inappropriate, and exposes de fine ladies here to unseemly displays.

What’s more, Bacontini is outraged dat he not tink of it first. De nerve of stepping in on his territory. Bacontini protest most vigorously!

I was just going to mention this.
[corey]
Fiche and film are still being created in archival settings; it’s because it is stable if properly stored, and doesn’t require sophisticated technology in order to access the information – all that is required is magnification and a light source. In that regard it is considered superior to digitization and so forthI used to give that speech regularly because I worked in a project that created it from newspapers that were disintegrating.
[/library-archives corey]

In fact, the job I have now has a film reader, for old copies of the NY Times, Wall St Journal, NY Law Journal, and other fun reading. Not all of this is yet online. Our conversations about this aren’t what this person may think, however; they’re usually along the lines of “Oh crap, I have to use that thing again.”

Thanks to being at an old Normal School for a University, we have an entire room full of microfiche machines, as well as a full archive of old newspapers and periodicals. We also have a lone microfiche reader in our archive, too. I’ve never actually seen anyone using the big room full of readers, but it fascinates me that it’s still there and we haven’t downsized it or anything.

Wow this came in the nick of time for me. I was just about to pitch the last of my Micro-Fish Food, since Gargantua – the last of my micro-fish – died when someone forgot he was living inside the shot glass from Vegas and mixed him with a li’l tequila during a party last summer.

At one point, early in my illustrious career, I was in charge of the telex machine for an international scale manufacturer. I picked up the ones to be sent and delivered the ones received to each department…by hand. Yep, them was the days.

So do we, although the paper I work for is increasingly using PDFs. We do have a microfiche reader in our bureau, although there is no one who is using it (and no one who cares to use it.) We also have clip files, actual articles about and arranged by various subjects.

But our PDFs only go back to late 2008. I dunno when microfiching stopped, but we also do have hardbound volumes of the paper.

OH Microfiche!! I was wondering what the heck they were trying to say! I’ve actually used one of these before for a school project. I was looking up land title records from the 1880s at the provincial archives building. That being said it would have been WAY more interesting if I could have done the project on micro fish instead.

How would you get the words on something so small? Would it be like writing on a grain of sand or rice? You could always use the micro fish reader to see what you have written, but how would you correct typos? Is there a special kind of white out for micro fish?

Yeah, screw you, superly-edumacated scientists!
It’s so much better for me that the natives of the area thought the scientists were a bunch of nutcases. ‘dude, you mean those fish we’ve been throwing away for years? The really oily, inedible ones that are just a common nuisance? Yeaahh…there’s this preposturous French scientist over there who’s making a big deal about them. What a dork.’

I know. I can just imagine the scientists’ letters (or maybe telegrams, given the era) to each other: “Dude, I’m telling you. Coelacanth. They are all over the damn place. No, I am not making this up. Yes, I am sober. Really. Yes, I know they are supposed to be extinct. No, I don’t know why they aren’t. All right, Monsieur Smarty-Pantalone, if it’s not a coelacanth, then what is it? Mmmm-hmmm. Thought so.”

OT – I have to share this. I was going to the grocery store yesterday and there was a small cluster of Girl Scouts waving around boxes of cookies. One was dressed in a Thin Mint costume, a round brown thing with holes for her limbs and head. She was wearing a minty shell!
I laughed so hard at that poor child, I thought the mothers were going to call the cops on me. I bought a box of cookies to make up for it.

The best part about her experience was that she came upon it naturally, or organically, if you prefer. She in no way contrived to make this happen, and then suddenly she found herself in the presence of a minty shell. Brilliant.

I’ll share if you don’t mind that I’ve duct taped over the pic of Orville Redenbacher. His mug is a definite mood breaker for me any time I’m watching any sort of gladiatorial fight. SPQR—Strength and Honor!

Yes, it is right. If you add Blind Date to Vicodin Tuna Casserole, you get 4-6 years; however, if you add Vicodin Tuna Casserole to In-laws you get Christmas with Your Parents; and, if you add Vicodin Tuna Casserole to Office Party, you get Extra Week Paid Vacation.

I find that the coefficient of minty being variable at different vintages is most easily explained when graphed across several planes. To wit, spinich toothpaste across the x-y axis divided by parabolic Vicodin Tuna Casserole gives you a value which is the square root of Hell’s seventh circle’s radius.
This in turn gives us a parallel postulate, and calls into question Gödel’s (first) incompleteness theorem shows that many axiom systems of mathematical interest will have undecidable statements. No conclusion drawn. Son of a b@*^&.

Micro fish writer (micro fish writer)
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It’s based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a micro fish writer,
Micro fish writer….

Now I have no fish to set myself up as the sole expert on fish reading; however, there appears to be large void of knowledge that many here are floundering in.

I know that it may seem that I’m going to perch on mahi soap box and let flow a tidal wave of useless information, but if you cod bear with me I will try to be as concise as possible. And, if you take the tide to listen, I’m sure you’ll sea that I’m not just pontificating for the halibut.

Hmm, it appears I’m trout of time. I appologize fjord my lengthly introduction as it appears to have taken up all the time for the lecture. If you need any kelp understanding Fish Reading, or if I have piked your interest, please feel free to approach me at the reception. I promise that I won’t tuna you out, and I gill offer you whatever information I have.

I have a fish at home that can do much more than just look up property, taxes and this sort of thing! And it’s a great conversation starter, as well!
Hmm…
*thinks over possible double meanings of above comment*
Naw, no one on this website has a dirty mind, do they??

I’m loving the math but have noted that no-one as yet has taken account of parallel lines or pi or dodecahedrons. Surely these would skew the result in favour of the Peanut Brittle Peperroni Milk Shake solution?

* random comment but delighted to report that my two mugs (llamanun and Not.A.Lion) have arrived safe and sound here in UK land. Let joy be unconfined and coffee rule the day.*