Bros Before Hos: Part I

Bros Before Hos: The Rules

At the start of a new relationship, you may find yourself consumed by your new flame. All your time is spent with her and your calendar is booked weeks in advance with your shared plans.

The losers in this blissful situation are your friends — the ones who were there when you were single. It's easy to find the guys being pushed out of your plans as you embark on a new and exciting relationship, but it's also wrong.

You need your friends — you always have and you always will. That's why our Bros Before Hos Rulebook will guide you through the tricky process of balancing your girl and your guys. Here are the rules to live by.

Don't break plans with the bros

Scenario: "Dude, I know we're supposed to be watching the game, but she really wants to go look at wallpaper."

The ultimate rule in the Bros Before Hos Rulebook is to never cancel plans with your friends in order to do something with your girl. In the good old days, a gentleman's word was his bond; if he said he was going hunting with the gang, he went hunting.

After making plans with your friends, you may find that your girlfriend comes up with other things to do like shopping, visiting other friends or spending a quiet night in.

You need to stand firm. If you start canceling plans, you'll quickly find that there's never a good time to hang out with your own friends. Sometimes a girl will want to monopolize all your time and attention; other times, she’ll want to sever your last bond to the single life: your friends. If you made plans with the guys, you have to stick to them, reminding her that the two of you can do things together the next day or the day after.

Don't reveal bros' secrets

Scenario: "Don't ever tell him I told you this, but...."

Pillow talk is dangerous. Laying there, completely relaxed with someone you're starting to trust entirely, it's easy to find yourself passing on secret hopes and fears... as well as the secrets of your friends that they would prefer kept hidden.

There are a few reasons you might do this. You could be trying to entertain her with amusing episodes. It might be an attempt to look more alpha male by knocking down potential rivals. Or you could just find yourself being tricked into spilling more about your past.

In any case, embarrassing, humiliating or harmful secrets about your bros are best kept between the two of you. In revealing these, you're trusting the girl equally or more than your closest friend. It's doubtful you'd be happy if your bro aired your dirty laundry to his girl, nor would you tell your girlfriend's secrets to him.

Don’t only be there for the big events

Scenario: "Buddy, I can't meet you tonight, but I'll be seeing all of you on Friday. That's cool, right?"

When you're trying to balance a relationship and your bros, you may be tempted to kill a few birds with one stone and make sure you're there for the big group nights. This is noble (at least you're trying), but it's far from ideal.