Can Gentlewoman wear Pink ?

Posted on November 19, 2016

Move over Kinfolk, there is a new magazine to flaunt on gray countertops.

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As we hone into our personal style, we identify with a certain aesthetic and ideology. Some can easily be categorized : tomboy, French classic, bohemian, Scandi chic,… Most of us don’t fall into any of these buckets. If I were to label mine, it would be ‘gentlewoman’. Respect for quality and expert tailoring, a certain pared down aesthetic, utility inspired clothing, a reverence for everything Margaret Howell, wish list full of Celine, activism of Stella McCartney, women-first-clothes-later sort of idealism, love of neutrals, well-edited closets, basics morphed into rockstars, lots of men’s wear inspired classics, … sum it up for me. So, what about pink ? I have gone through an entire suite of judgements on this color. Call me a victim of cultural brainwashing, gender stereotyping, bra-burining-feminism and general lack of exposure to the world outside my bubble. Self pity aside, I can console myself on having lesser prejudices than a decade ago :

(Age 10) : It belongs on barbie. Its for silly girls.

(Age 13 ) : Its a muslim color. ( I apologize for this. I no longer think this way. I was uneducated and didnt travel. I was repeating what I heard, like a parrot. )

(Age 15 ) : I hate pink. Its girly (meant like an insult). I avoid it at all cost. I am a tomboy ( like its a color preference ). I will become a scientist ( like its part of the curriculum ).

(Age 20) : I wont wear pink. Never !

( Age 21 ) : Straight men shouldn’t wear pink.

( Age 22 ) : Men can wear pink. ( America changed my mind. I met people from different nations and cultural backgrounds . Its just a color. )

( Age 25 ) : The saree I wore for my wedding reception was pink. I never wore pink before that day. My mother convinced me. I looked like an Indian bride.

( Age 26 ) : I buy a camera. It changed my life. I read ‘Tao of Photography‘. If you judge the morality of the characters in a book/movie, you can not appreciate the story. Un-relatable characters also have a story to tell. Imperfect flawed characters interacting can be very interesting. If you judge the elements in your shots, you will not do justice to the photograph. The camera taught me a lot about perspectives and life.

( Age 27 ) : Its a non neutral color. Like any other non neutral color, I will stay away or use in very tiny doses or an accent color.

Currently : Its a nice color. I will wear pink if its the right shade. In small doses of-course ! I still dislike the way its marketed aggressively to little girls. I still dislike the Disney princess aesthetic.

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“the deeper freedom, I hope, is that of not being stuck inside a particular perspective, or thinking that your way is the right way. I worry sometimes that in an age when we’re lucky enough to have access to more cultures (and therefore more points of view and mind-sets) than ever, it’s easier to surround yourself with people who think and look just like you.” – Pico Iyer

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We recently watched a hindi movie called PINK, which is one of the most powerful movies on women’s rights for an Indian audience. When they asked the movie makers about naming the movie after the color, they said “Its used as an insult. I want it to be associated with strength”. Run like a girl, cry like a girl, throw like a girl, … should all be associated with strength and we should work towards proving it. Pink has seen some major brainwashing and stereotyping. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard/said/read “I am a tomboy. I dont wear pink”, I would have bought a new Macbook Pro by now.

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History of Stereotyping :

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Pink was not always classified by gender. I wasnt even aware of this demarcation as a kid. Every color is fair game in India. Its common to see traditional clothes in hot pink mixed with green or red. And it somehow doesn’t look outlandish in India. But there are big demarcations on color by religion. A certain green shade comes with a strong Islamic branding. And a certain shade of saffron orange has a strong Hindu association. Which I find unfair. Let the colors be. “I think living in a foreign place just shows you how there are no right answers and that everything you think you know is partial, provisional and local”, writes Pico Iyer. Travel and internet connectivity changed my mind on pink. I met people outside my tiny bubble, who don’t associate tomboy as a style of dressing or have biases against a certain color. Its a work in progress.

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Me Vs Pink :

The pink in my closet

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Something I have always looked down upon and avoided now made it into my closet. A shirt or dress is too much of it. That leaves me with accessories. I wanted a pink bag, but looking at my historical data on regrets, I changed my mind. Got a clutch instead. A hot pink technical running shirt because I am pro colorful workout gear and added visibility if you run outdoors. The mauve loafers pair well with my all navy/black/gray outfits. I have a belt with black studs which looks tough in some sense. A pink saree that I wore on my wedding day gets reused when I go to India. I wear rose gold jewellry. I like pink and am not afraid to say it. Its a beautiful color once I can isolate all the cultural stereotyping.

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Do Pink Right :

Mauve coat : Stella McCartney. Perennially hungry cat : c/0 landlord.

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Disney princesses and Barbie ruined pink for me. Excessive bubblegum pink in stores and in cheaply made clothing with glitter + tutus are etched in my brain. Its taught me the phrase ‘too much pink’. When I lived in India, there was excessive emphasis on making your complexion look as white as possible. And a certain shades of bright pink were used to flaunt fairness of skin. I formed a set of prejudices based on my life so far that are hard to undo. And hence have my own set of rules on how to wear pink.

The pantone color of the year 2016 is dusky rose. Have you been noticing the influence of it ? I am in no mood to buy more but am enjoying the images of cozy pink sweaters paired with trousers. If you are looking to add some pink to your closet, please wait till next year. It will be discarded in plenty on to the second hand market and you can take your pick. Do you have a story on pink ? Do you wear it ? If yes, in what dosage ? If no, why not ? Do you think you get judged if you wear pink ? Thoughts on ‘too much pink’ ?

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30 Comments

I was more “‘navy velvet dress with white lace collar and black patent mary janes” girl ,it was considered elegant for girls here ,so ,no,I have no prejudices against pink. It simply doesn’t suits me well ( despit the rule that blondes should wear pink 🙂 ) i had ash rose coat long ago and maybe a piece or two in pink.
Thank you for sharing the story about demarcations on colour by religion- I have to learn more about it.
All the fuss about pink for girls and blue for boys I find annoying- when my son was a baby,I’ve bought purple-green pram and clothes in almost all colours except pink and baby blue. As my favourite colour was navy,later he got a lot of navy clothes (it would be the same if I had a girl)
Nevertheless,I respect children wishes when buying clothes/presents for family and friends children.
I love your mauve coat (what a lovely cat!) .
I’m sure you made a beautiful bride in pink !
Dottoressa

Thank you Dottoressa. For the surrounding settings, I fit in well on my wedding day.

The fact is, I wouldnt dare wear a head to toe pink outfit today. Maybe for pajamas, but would not leave home in it. And never go to work in pink. Its not common in my world to be dressed in bright colors.

My mother put me in a lot of navy blue which probably explains why I still wear it everyday. I am used to it. And she wore very neutral colors – beige and browns all the time.

I think we made fun of boys who wore pink as kids. There was a lot of name calling. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t …

“think pink, but don’t wear it.” I believe it was Karl Lagerfeld that said that, and Chanel does some of the ugliest pinks in my opinion–that powder-y baby pink I personally dislike.

I like hot or a deep raspberry pink. I have a neon raspberry lip color. I’m not afraid of bold lip colors. And I like pink highlighters. But I’m not a typical baby pink person.

Not counting the pink tee work tee that we get to wear on Fridays, which I’m not a fan of the color but I took the pink one over the navy to “conform.” The day we were handing out the tees to all employees I remember seeing a heated debate of someone refusing to give a female one of the navy tees “because the blue was only for guys and the pink were for the ladies”, and I could see the female employee getting very upset that I had to intervene and give her the navy tee. Ridiculous!

He picks great music for the shows. I loved the background score for the one they did in Cuba from the recent times. I listen to a lot of shows for the music. But the clothes, I wish he retires. He has had a great run, much longer than any other designer for a fashion house that is not their own. I will wait for someone else to give a fresh take to Chanel.

‘typical baby pink person’ : see, we have that image of that woman etched in our head right ? Its hard to undo. All those mean popular girl teen movies didnt exactly help the cause. I see kids all around me head-to-toe in disney pink merchandise. My guy friends have been trying to convince me that there is nothing wrong with that aesthetic. I am trying !

I have always been attracted to the kind of clothes you could imagine a old english professor would wear. Shirts, crewnecks, blazers, corduroy. Never any pink! But I am trying to figure out a way to make pink work though, because I really do think dusty mauvy-pink is my best color. Not convinced I’ll succed…

And I have always been attracted to gray tones and navy blues. In India, I was a sort of a misfit for not liking color. It gave my aunts and relatives a lot of material to bully me about how I dress. They are all stunned that I now write a style blog. I am somehow glad for the whole gentlewoman style that is trending right now.

I struggled with pink for a little while too. To find the right accessories. I still have second thoughts when ever I wear any pink. Too much, my head protests.

I wear it for lipstick and have one light pink silk midi skirt that is very in right now. It’s exactly what’s popular. I inherited it from my aunt (who made it by hand) when she downsized her house. It’s 20-40 years old — I’m not sure. Other than that, I wear pink lipstick and pink scarves but I don’t have many other pink clothes, My colors for clothes are fall colored earth tones, so pink doesn’t really fit in. Mainly I stick to mossy greens, dark reds, mustard, burnt orange, I’m not afraid of color, and I don’t stick to neutrals, but I have a palate.

I find the color analysis in clothes in the west very amusing. I don’t know why there is so much emphasis on fall appropriate colors and so on. Is it a cultural thing or has media swayed people into this? I used to love wearing rani pink in India and when I think how beautiful they look when paired with blue or even yellow, it makes my heart smile. But I would totally not these color pairings with western clothes, because media, not wanting attention, lack of choices etc etc.. I have been injecting more color in the winter, because it helps lift my mood. This is tmi, but I have pink skirt, a scarf and would love a turtleneck and a trouser.

For the longest time, I protested too. “I am not a tree”, was my argument.

After I took up photography, it makes sense. You dont compete with the landscape for attention. Wear bright blue in winter, you really stand out. The light is different. And next to the urban landscape, you blend. But thats my perspective.

Me for one is actually happy about the western color palette. I couldnt find clothing in stores in India that were sober enough for my taste. I got everything stitched. And finding a gray tshirt was such a hunt. All of my relatives wore loud colors and bullied me about my taste in clothes. I was told that I was under dressed at events because I would be wearing gray or navy. Somehow, I am happy with muted palette.

That being said, rani pink is well suited fro India. I cant explain it. But bold colors look appropriate somehow. And pink saree with green blouse – somehow fits. Or maybe my eyes are tuned to that frequency.

I am looking at blush pink silk sleepwear. Sounds great in theory, but still contemplating.

I think a good dose of pink with navy is beautiful. Not only gender stereotyping, the whole concept of minimalism has ruled so many beautiful colors! I distinctly remember when pinterest and insta were ruled by pictures of grays, beiges, blacks and whites for everything. What happened to greens, yellows, pinks? I understand if people cannot really pull off a color. As a brown girl with brown black hair, there are very few colors that I cannot pull off. I don’t go searching for pink, but if something beautiful and age appropriate comes my way, I will take it. I have this lovely pink and navy dress from dvf that I bought at the beginning of this year.. I absolutely love it

About instagram driving art. Lot of art directors are complaining about how artists no longer do certain things so that their work picks up steam on instagram. We are the first social media generation and will have to learn to live with it.

In ‘Lessons from Madame Chic’, the author talks about french style – not as all neutral palette. She talks about how Madame Chic very carefully picked out a shade of green and blue that suits her complexion. And since she own very little, the rest of the garments are neutral basics. I really like that concept. A big chunk of neutrals and some carefully chosen color. The capsule wardrobers took it to the other extreme with all gray toned basics. But there are quite a few people like Dulce Candy, Wendys Lookbook, Fleur De Force who are known for their very bold and bring colorful outfits. I am glad we all have enough material to get inspired by.

Such a truthful quote by Pico Iyer!
And, regarding pink, I think I went through very similar “development” of my attitudes to the colour. At first I rejected it because a) my parents made me to wear it and I hated feeling like a marshmallow, b) I was a tomboy, too, and doing exactly opposite of what they told me to. Now when there’s no pressure I discovered that I actually like the colour. Or more precisely, its soft, subtle hues, not the screaming hot or neon pink. Your images are therefore an eye candy for me.
I’d like to find a nice t-shirt, blouse or some other garment in a soft shade of pink. I already own a cashmere turtleneck in powder pink which is incredibly soft and overall pleasant in every sense. Pink is a great colour for a gentlewoman when combined thoughtfully.

For some reason, I really dislike Kinfolk. Their content is not bad but I cannot deal with the pretentiousness. The gentlewoman is much better.

I can only take pink in small doses. The only pink I have in my closet is this Radiohead T-shirt my Mum gave me a long time ago. I love the band but eh. I don’t mind pink mufflers, though. Or super pale pink shoes. But when it comes to clothing, I still prefer dark colours.

Please elaborate. I have been meaning to find and ask a person who dislikes Kinfolk. Lot of people find it pretentious. I dont. Please elaborate. Ofcourse, the fancy simple suppers that you can buy tickets to attend is a little weird. I no longer have a subscription but I remember essays on one man’s love for his inherited cast iron skillet, a chefs first real knife, how to be a good neighbor, … sorta material quite relatable.

I quite like Gentlewoman magazine. After reading it, I am having trouble appreciating Vogue. Its in much need of a make over. There is another called System Magazine that has been quite to pot stirrer lately. The designers seem to become very candid in their interviews for System and then get sued for it. Raf Simons interviewed Muccia Prada for the latest one.

And thank you. That coat gets a lot of love when I wear it. I am terrified of staining it and dont wear it if I bike. But it does get me excited for winter. I concur with you on dosage of pink I am willing to wear.

It’s the vibe and the presentation. They are selling this obviously expensive aesthetics that feels more like a try hard performance than a genuine philosophy. Their message is also inconsistent, imo. They are promoting simple and slow living while at the same time advertising super expensive stuff. Unless you are a trust fund baby, there is no way you would be able to afford them. You would probably have to work a high paying job with long hours, where is the simple and slow living then? It’s a pretty magazine, but I cannot help but feel that it’s just so superficial, empty and uber privileged, which makes it kind of a joke to me, really.

Ah, I see. Never saw it from that angle. Yes, they do show impressive real estate and lot of Margaret Howell in their editorials. And the people featured aren’t your everyday Jo talking simple pleasures. Simple and slow living for folks in a certain income bracket is what they do, unintentionally I hope. Their magazine is priced that way too. Its not your average 5$ newstand kind.

My take : Dont shop that way, but think that way. I literally have no one to talk about how amazing my cast iron skillet is. No one in my real life will listen if I gush about it. It feels good to read a long essay in simple words by someone else who feels the same. I make my husband sit and listen to reasons as to why I love my blue Madewell dress. He goes into his black box and doesnt listen. That magazine would have had an article on good socks that is as trivial as my rants about a old dress. That is what I think strikes a chord with me. This issue, they had an interview with pico Iyer, from which I used the quote for this blog post. There is something in there for me in every issue.

Now that I am living in the aftermath of post election blues, the costal elite paradox seems to have been a blind spot for me. I am missing out on other perspectives. Thank you for sharing. Really.

I love pink! Rose pink, sugar pink, pastel or blush being my favourite. ( though I dislike fuschia and ‘hot’ pinks almost as much as I adore the paler, chalky shades. It’s very personal) I think colour looks different under different lights, so what looks great in gujurat may not look so good in London.
I love the way Chanel does pinks and have lots of pink items of clothing, and accessories even including pink silk pyjamas! The trick is not to wear it all at once… I think pink can look ridiculous when done ‘badly’ hence the dislike from some people. I had no idea it was Muslim colour though,most Muslims I’ve seen tend to wear black.

So in Hyderbad, we used to have muslim rulers in a rather hindu state. The city is divided into old city and new city. Old city has 98% muslim population. And we have communal voilence probably once a year if we are unlucky. And they ask us to stay away. So my parents gen is exposed to the folk who live there and that is their text book on what is muslim. Old city has lot of baazars for trade – bangals, textiles, sarees, clothing, ribbons, antique furniture, parrots, (slaves, women ). There are streets that I wont be allowed to enter ( I tried and got shooed away ). The inner old city is a different world. I once wore a burka and went with a muslim friend into some lanes that I would have never gone by myself. But back to the story. Its very common to see women wear very bright colors and stores are full of hot pink clothing. Its also common to see men wear pink nail polish and wear kajal on their eyes. Hence the branding.

I remember your post with pink knits from Chanel. They look gorgeous.

I agree. Color looks very different by seasons and location. Also, in a place like Paris with lots of beautiful old stone buildings, I would hate to compete with the landscape with my presence. I wear my khakis when I go hiking because you shock the animals with bright colors. There are these rules of color that I learnt only after I picked up the camera.

You have a very interesting and smart blog! I love, that us on personal style!0 As for pink, I don’t have a lot of this color in my wardrobe (only one sweater). But I like to pair my blush pink sweater with grey or white buttoms. It looks so cosy and chic!

As a child and in my teens I hated pink because I thought it was a girlish colour. Meanwhile I can see other women wearing it beautifully. I like your pink items, Archana. But I do not have any shade of pink in my closet. I feel that it does not suit my complexion, it is too cold or too soft.
I prefer warmer shades and strong colours like brown, camel, green and orange. In Germany where I live people wear mostly neutrals. Neutrals are considered to be professional whereas colours are not. Travelling in India, it was such a surprise to see how women and men enjoyed colourful clothing! And it was through travelling that colours widened up their connotations to me. Pink is just a colour, too…

A story similar to mine. I dont think I can show up to work in pink without raising a few eyebrows. There is a mental image of geek/nerd and an engineer with a style blog wearing pink is a definite outlier.

My mother wears the same palette as you. I noticed a lot of brown when I travelled through germany. I will never forget the day when I wore a red short skirt and got really really stared at. I probably looked the part of the tourist.