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Section 1: Holy crap, a public profile! I can finally express myself! *reverts to Socially Awkward Penguin mode* (Believe it or not, the short paragraph which precedes this one was once the entirety of my public profile. However, once I got started writing it and adding bits and pieces, I couldn't stop and it gradually grew to this behemoth! I borrowed the line breaks from a famous Imgurian whose name I cannot now recall. Anyway, thank you to whomever it was who realized that such breaks were possible. Without them, this gargantuan profile would be completely unmanageable!)
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Section 2: On a more serious note... I am a 20 year old nuclear engineering student who loves to Imgur. Not much else needs saying at this time. At a later time, more may need saying. At such a time that is appropriate, I may add more here. Now that such a time is appropriate, I'll add here: joules are a unit of energy. Joules per second are watts. Watts are a unit of power. Please don't mix them up. Power and energy are not synonymous. Power is energy per unit time.
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Section 3: Explanation of the name: In the English language, the phrase "a wise guy" has two very different meanings, and my name is meant as a double entendre of these two disparate meanings. The first one, and the one that is more prominent and, thus, more well-known, is as a synonym to the also well-known phrases "a smart alec" or, often, "smart ass." This implies the wise guy makes clever, often crude or impolite, sarcastic quips in an attempt at humor. This is often successful when it's at the expense of someone else. The other, lesser-known meaning is "one who has been fully initiated into the mafia." This meaning has received exposure thanks to such media as the movie "The Wise Guy," and continues to hold on as a secondary meaning to the phrase "a wise guy." Being largely Italian by ancestry, I like the idea that my name has mafia connotations, and I find the double entendre refreshingly witty. Also, apparently I have a theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=annDbNlKItA
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Section 4: Until we can convince Imgur to use avatars, I'll follow in the footsteps of other great Imgurians and provide an album of pictures I might use for such an avatar (will be updated as I go along): http://imgur.com/a/KfkLN
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Section 5: So you don't have to ask:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_engineering
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Section 6: For potential future use:
◕ ‿ ◕
⌒▽⌒
(◠‿◠)
→
ಠ_ಠ
ಥ_ಥ
====The More You Know=★
ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ
(''\ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ/'')
(﻿ •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)
♩
♪
︻╦╤─ - - - ----- - - ---
†‡±
Þÿřák.
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_____FAVORITE IMGURIAN QUOTES____
Section 7: I'm going to include here my favorite (out of context) quotes from Imgurians. Every single one of these was posted to Imgur somewhere:
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1. "This world would be flawless if boobs were also kitten dispensers."-mangoose
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2. "I once used 'I eat more pussy than cervical cancer' worst mistake of my life."-livinfamous
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3. "I like to put my girlfriend's bra on my head and go 'Ho hoo! I'm Mickey Mouse!'. It's a cavalcade of fun."-MrJeffHodgins
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4. "I am mesmerized by the merman performing a blow job."-Zomboriwicatus
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5. "My sister won homecoming in college and when no one's home I wear her tiara while I clean house."-nerdism101
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6. "Or when you need to poop right after you start your government final this morning... That might've been too specific..."-legodude93
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7. "Where's the bin for 'I don't have a 12" dick' problems?"-IrishBarBalm
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8. "Yes, actually. Twat couch."-TDGSeal
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9. "I just want the cow briskly walked through a warm kitchen"-BruceTheMooseAndSheepyTheSheep
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10. "I can honestly say this is the first time i have seen a man outdance a banana."-BaronVonBro
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11. "I gained 22lbs from letting a guy rub macaroni and cheese on my ass!"-squeezebox
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12. "It's not far-fetched at all. You guys are basically the result of centuries of unwanted rape babies."-Suspiciouslookingcactus
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13. "I'm a B cup myself. But sometimes I wish I could just detach them and put them on a shelf until I need them for a night out."-tangowolf
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14. "Politely ask him to apply a cactus to his nether regions."-woyaodaxiongmao
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15. "I'll never understand girls like this. It's so much more fun to be part of the bus crash."-OneSmartChicken
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16. "It looks like she's farting at her food."-thescapisto
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17. "'... it's ... it's a minidisc!' - tape gynecologist."-NotReallyJustKiddingIfOffendingAndNotACompliment
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18. "I paint my hand like a vagina"-Elkal
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19. "wow...way to just flaunt having legs...that work...what if Widget88 was Stephen Hawkings"-Ethica
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20. "This is the internet--thoughts are not welcome here."-100percent200proofColombian
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21."The window is open in my room, that's kind of like being outside."-GenghisR
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22. "So does the homeless man crap in the tub every day?"-smfark
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23. "I'll probably end up the single guy on the roller coaster, while everyone is having sex behind me in the photo."-iamnoonespecial
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24. "So the trick not to fall is to grab onto your manhood?"-cousteau
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25. "Y'ever been so high that a hindu death-god popped outta your ass?"-chaoswolf1982
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26. "Abortion Man has the worst super power."-MakeEggsThrowEggs
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27. "I am the Fapmiral of this ship, who will be my Lubetenant?"-darthblaker7474
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28. "It's a strange feeling when your facebook pictures are blurred out with pubes."-acturi
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29. "It's a personally pet peeve of mine when fucking people put god damn feet where there were no feet previously. Fuck! It's like, WHY?!?!?!?"-james9000
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30. “You took the entirely wrong message from that. Spiderman is way better with brain damage.”-Phantasmid
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31. “Giant bunny or tiny carrots? Only the bananas can help us.”-DangerZoneh
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32. “I HATE YAWN RAPE.”-waidkellie
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33. “If you're sitting about thinking up pedophiles you need a better hobby.”-thegrlwndr
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34. “Riding zebras across London in mid fall while huffing paint?”-YourAuthorityIsNotRecognizedInFortKickass
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35. “In this image, the cat is my nipple.”-copaceticbatgirl
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36. “If you're ever feeling ill, just remember; there may be a bee lodged in your dick.”-infernoturnip
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37. “TIL Americans also circumcise hotdogs.”-chibbity
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38. "Yeah, but what do you do with the spare penguin?"-peachykehn
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39. "That reminds me, my shoes need recharging too."-turdsandwich
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40. "I'm going to go home and practice running into an invisible wall"-Thuperduper
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41. "Fish are friends, not fuckbuddies."-Zodi
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42. "Does anyone else want to eat the shit out of that bench? Or lick it a little bit..."-MAPQue
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43. "Am i the only one who's pretty sure that the queen is secretly into bondage sex?"-AntiLife
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44. "TIL that imgurians don't understand how turkeys work."-Stalinwolf
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45. "I like how his plan was to wreck that baby"-iAmSmarterThanYouTwatFace
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46. "I suppose there's a good reason why you're rubbing a banana peel on your cat, but I won't ask."-MonsterInside
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47. "LIBERATE ALL THE MAMMARY GLANDS"-foreal
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48. "Sure, I borrow penises all the time. Makes sense."-scottsimgurval
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49. "I vomited in my friends bathtub and then whispered my last will and testament to his cat before falling asleep for 12 hours on the floor."-thethoughtofpeoplejudgingmebymynamegivesmeanxiety
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50. "You thought I was a penis? Acting."-idiotekque
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51. "You get the banana, and you eat that banana. I believe in you."-viviann46
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52."Beard-carpentry: Manliest hobby ever"-Skyrez
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53. "Are you a Japanese woman's vagina?"-TheAwkwardJizzer
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54."I regret to inform you that you just ate the blue M&M's penis."-KuusNyan
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55."Penis cat, penis cat, kinda shaped like a penis cat."-CatLaydy
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56. "A Boyfriend is like a 6 layer piece of chocolate on chocolate cake but for your vagina."-MenageAWeasleyTwins
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57. "I could see DARPA spending millions to figure out how to have chickens guide missiles."-organicolcomns
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58. "Polish seafood chefs no longer make up a significant portion of the NFL"-IcriticizeOP
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59. "Next time you're thinking about how beautiful the Aurora Borealis is remember, it's just solar bukkake."-fatlittletree
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60. "Always be careful not to eat a corndog on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel."-zigzagler
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61. "Just check the box labeled "donate my body to necrophilia" next to "organ donor" when you update your driver's license"-conantheterminator
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62. "I see an orgy consisting entirely of Michelin men."-Ifoundthething
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63. "George R.R. Farmin'."-itseemsthatnamewastaken
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64. "Wipe with cucumber slices, trust me."-WeCouldAllGoPeeTogether
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Section 8: I do NOT have an unhealthy obsession with Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson, born 15 April 1990 (which makes her 23). I'd say I have a perfectly reasonable, if not downright healthy, obsession with her. I mean, I don't even know where she lives, which certainly isn't Oxford by any means! What kind of obsessive maniac doesn't know the residence of the object of his obsession, nor the birthplace thereof (most certainly not some inconceivable place like Paris, France)? It's clear that I don't have an unhealthy obsession with Emma and that I'm not totally just trying to justify some undying love for her, the passion of which burns with the intensity of a million suns. Totally. Not. Happening.
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Section 9: @Bluetastic
Yes, a toast I say! A toast to having math in one's life and making life about math! A toast to all that is well-defined and understood! A toast to celebrate nerdiness in ways unknown to those without Imgur. A toast to (most likely) being single, a condition many look down upon but that we (most likely) embrace as a part of us! And, finally, a toast to simply being oneself despite what everyone else expects you to conform to! <interesting and profound statement about life> Say something here </statement>
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Section 10: Well, I guess the following paragraph has been rendered outdated...
@coyote0
Here's how pictures work: you upload a picture and it receives a unique URL. You can post this picture to other sites like Reddit. If your image gets sufficient views (30K, I believe) it gets posted to the gallery, which is what we're all browsing. Yes, you can post uploaded images to other images as captions. "Imgurception" (I know about the real use of 'inception,' forgive me for just making this understandable) has happened before where a person posted an image of Imgur superimposed upon an image of Imgur as an Imgur caption. I see you've been here two months now, so you may very well have seen this somewhere. I hope I've helped!
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Section 11: I think I've made this profile awkwardly long. Here's a picture of my kitty to lighten the mood. http://i.imgur.com/S7kyn.jpg
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Section 12: <strike>Interestingly, the two fellow users that I mention in this profile both have names that involve the word "Blue." I wonder if that has any significance.</strike> It seems I have now addressed someone whose username doesn't have "blue" in it, so this paragraph is now outdated. I will leave it here for posterity or just in case I need it in the future. Thank you.
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Section 13: I've also realized after taking a read over this profile a couple times that I really, really like colons. Yay.
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Section 14: If I make this profile just another paragraph or so longer, I'll be able to move my notoriety over to the left a bit and under my recent captions. I've seen this done before on other profiles, so I know it's possible, I just want to do it myself here because I've never tried. Ok, that should be about long enough. I'll just end this paragraph now so that I can check if my notoriety has moved.
No, it hasn't moved yet. I'll just go on then, always hoping to make my profile just long enough so that my notoriety slips under my captions. It can't be that much longer now, right? I mean, I've put a lot into this so far, so it HAS to be close by now! Maybe I've written enough now. I'd better check.
Yes! That was enough for it to move under my recent captions! Thanks for putting up with that. I just wanted to try it. Aww, darn. Thanks to the neverending-comments, I can no longer make this profile long enough to wrap my notoriety around the comments area. Also, the new system doesn't let me skip lines in my profile... I think. Anyway, it's not perfect and could stand to improve in my opinion.
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Section 15: Actually, now I'm nearing the next big milestone: A profile that is longer than two entire pages of "Newest Gallery comments." I don't know if anyone else has achieved this; I don't know if anyone else has even been crazy enough to try. Some say that it's not possible. Some say that as you approach the mythical 2-comment-page length, the length by which your profile increases per unit word decreases infinitely, much like the infinite increase in energy necessary to surpass the light-speed barrier if you're moving slower than light is. Some say that it simply can't be done because Imgur itself will shut down before you reach the mythical length. Not I. I am no doubter. I am a believer in the two comment-page-length profile, and today is the day I manage it. This is my day. Soldiers are coming to take me away in order to prevent my success. However, may justice be done by my achievement. Ah, the toll of the bell, the flight of the raven. The end is near... but for whom? For me or for my profile? Is the distinction even possible anymore? Can my profile be told apart from me, from the *I* that I am? No, I dare not attempt it. This is it.
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Section 16: I have done it! My public profile is now over two comment pages long. I would feel proud, but knowing that I could have been out there looking for a mate in the time I've worked on this profile just leaves me with an empty feeling inside. Tomorrow... tomorrow is another day. Who knows what awaits? We shall see... tomorrow.
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Section 17: I've come to realize that one side-effect of having such a leviathan public profile is that it's a veritable pain in the ass to check my reputation. It's a good thing that the profile shrinks down to a couple line-heights when clicked or else it would be a shitton of scrolling every time I wanted to see my reputation.
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Section 18: Now that you've scrolled down this far, it would be a shame not to check out my older captions. View them to your immediate left! VIEW THEM!