This is our beautiful little boy Logan, who is three years old. On the day he turned 2 1/2 on June 6, 2000, I took him in to his pediatrician to find out why he was drinking so much and wetting through his diapers twice a night. He also had been throwing terrible fits for several months. I figured was just the terrible twos. Logan had been a perfect baby, never sick. He did everything extremely early and he was and is the light of my life. I breastfed Logan for 15 months, I never left him with anyone, I didn't even let him drink tap water--only bottled. I thought I was doing everything to keep him safe.
When I took him on June 6th I didn't realize my world was about to turn upside down. He failed two glucose tests, the meter said "HI", which I now know the meters only go up to 600 and then just read "HI". His pediatrician said there was nothing about Logan that told him he was diabetic but that we weren't going to know until we did a fasting glucose. I went to the hospital the next morning for them to draw blood out of my baby's arm. The results were a blood glucose of 287 after not eating since 7:00 p.m. the night before. We were referred to an endocrinologist here in Muskogee, who had us get four more blood readings. Logan's highest was 586! On Friday, June 9th he confirmed that Logan had diabetes and told us he was referring us to a pediatric endocrinologist in Tulsa because Muskogee didn't have the facilities to care for a child as young as Logan.

We were to be there the following Monday. My husband and I couldn't believe they were going to let him go all weekend without any insulin or treatment. But the Tulsa doctor had been told Logan looked great and would be fine until Monday. They told him this without even checking my son's ketones. I didn't know anything about ketones at the time. I went home that night and after Logan went to sleep laid next to him like I had done every night since June 6th and put my arms around him and cried, begging for a miracle, asking, "Why my baby, Why not me?"

To make a long and frustrating story short Logan didn't make it till Monday. His daddy and I rushed him to the ER the next night because he was walking drunk, couldn't finish a sentence, his breathing was labored, and he had the smell of acetone on his breath--the signs of going into a diabetic coma! Logan was sent by lifeflight that night to St. Francis Hospital. Between the ER here in Muskogee and St. Francis my baby endured blood being drawn from his veins numerous times and 3 IVs put in his body. I watched while they held my baby down and stuck him repeatedly and I will never forget the terror in his eyes! All I could do was hold his head and tell him I was sorry and this wasn't his fault, for you see he kept telling me, "Mommy, I'm sorry" or "I'm in trouble" or "I'm bad." He stayed in the Pediatrics ICU for two days. Anyone who in his room he was scared was going to hurt him. After leaving the hospital, for two or three days he was so angry that if the least little thing happened he would sit and bang his head on the floor. I would hold him and tell him this wasn't his fault and he didn't do anything to deserve what had happened to him.

I hate having to force sugar down him when he gets low and I hate having to stick needles in his soft skin. For quite some time in the beginning he would tell me he was sorry after every shot, like I was punishing him. That was very difficult! But he is doing much better now and he really likes his endocrinologist. He actually looks forward to seeing Dr. Bryant, which means a lot to us! He will tell me sometimes that I hurt him, but for the most part he is handling it very well for a three year old. When he gets sick it is very difficult on him. I just get really frustrated when people act like diabetes is no big deal--it is a huge deal! Logan loves doing things every three year old does and he is so full of life! He has a brother, Chance. They are 25 months apart and he is starting to realize Chance doesn't have to endure the same things he does. Logan told me one morning, "Mommy I don't need my medicine anymore." I hated having to explain to him he will always need his medicine until a cure is found. He is a wonderful little boy and he will tell me "Mommy, I'll be Ok" when he knows I am worried about him.,

We formed a family walk team for JDF, Logan's Heroes. I needed a way to feel I was fighting this stupid disease and I want a cure so bad for my son!

Last Updated: Wednesday March 16, 2005 16:45:10
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