Wednesday, February 22, 2012

And That's How Eric Stoltz And 70's Porno Music Got Me Fired

Me: Hello?Him: Hey baby.

*70’s porno music playing*

Me: What the hell is that?Him: Oh that? Just a little baby makin’ music to start your day off right.Me: Ummmm…..what?Him: Okay, so I was on YouTube searching for Eric Stoltz in Back To The Future and…Me: Wait, Eric Stoltz was in Back To The Future?Him: No, he was the original Marty and they filmed for like 5 weeks or something and then they replaced him with Michael J. Fox.Me: No way. How do you know that?Him: Everyone knows that.Me: No they don’t.Him: Everyone but you knows that.Me: Ohmygod, I’m trying to picture him in that movie and it’s kind of freaking me out.Him: Why?Me: There’s no way Eric Stoltz can pull off a puffy vest. Him: Well anyway, so that’s what I was searching for and you know how it goes on YouTube. You click a link and then watch that video and then click on another link and then watch that video and then click on another link and boom! You find a band that does remakes of 70’s porn soundtracks.Me: Are you sure you’re not just watching porn?Him: Not yet.

*more 70’s porno music playing*

Me: Huh. That could be either 70’s porn or70’s cop show. Him: Just call me Ponch.Me: I never realized how versatile that music is. You can chase bad guys or fuck bad guys to that music. Him: Awesome, right?Me: All you need is the right moustache and some bell bottoms and you’re good to go for either.Him: Hell, all I have to do is shave off my goatee and I’ll have the moustache.Me: I wonder if they make bell bottoms in your size.Him: *giggling*Me: What?Him: Oh, nothing. *more giggling*Me:*yelling* YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A PORN MOUSTACHE WHEN I GET HOME TONIGHT!Every Co-worker in my office:*awkward silence*Me:*whispering* Damn it.Him: Well, my work here is done.

I didn't know that was real, just thought it was a weird thing in one of the Fringe episodes. So does he have a new face-hair style? Or bell bottoms? They should be striped bell bottoms, that's extra sexy.