Monthly Archives: February 2013

We’re starting a new segment here on Soap Trope, “For serious,” in which we will tell you what you should absolutely be watching/reading/listening to right now. For serious, we’re serious about this. Hence the name. Obvs.

For serious, you need to be watching Cougartown. Not only is it a funny sitcom with some heart, it’s by the dudes that made Scrubs. I mean, honestly, I don’t think I should actually have to say anything more, because Scrubs was a delightful, whimsical work of genius. And even though those showrunners have moved on, there’s still a fair amount of awesomeness to behold. For example, the fashion.

Please look at this amazing cat sweatshirt that Busy Phillips is wearing (yes, your girl Busy is on this show! FOR SERIOUS).

The only problem with this sweatshirt is that I don’t own it.

Also it’s exciting to see how they slut up Courteney Cox’s outfits. (Should I be proud or sad that I knew to add the extra e to CC’s first name?) For example, I own this gingham shirt. It’s from J. Crew (Cougartown is on TBS now, so the wardrobe budget has probably been downgraded a bit.)

What up, boobs?

I tried to take a picture of myself wearing this shirt, you know, with two more buttons fastened? But then it just seemed like I was taking pictures of my boobs to upload to the Internet, and that didn’t seem like the best idea.

The one place where the wardrobe does splurge is Courteney’s nightgowns. Girl wore like six different ones in a recent episode, her rack on full display. And I’ve got to say, if my boobs still looked that good, I’d unbutton a little bit more too.

She’s making a weird face, but trust me, the nightgown works.

In conclusion, won’t you watch Cougartown with me, so we can discuss the outfits at length? It will be so much fun.

General Hospital was generally the soap that wasn’t really supernatural — I wasn’t around for when the Cassadines maybe froze the world in the ’80s. Non-soap fans always joke about the ridiculous plots, but for GH, they were always semi-rooted in reality. Like, sure, AJ came back from the dead, but they made an attempt at an explanation.

But all of the sudden there’s all these worlds converging/vampire nonsense, and I’m flummoxed. I thought it was a tongue-in-cheek, ha ha joke on how actors soap hop, but now I think it’s an actual thing that is happening! And so we must talk about John McBain’s hair.

Honestly, I am so fickle. When John first came on the show and was all smoking up the screen with Sam I was like, yay! New guy! But now I’m kind of over him. His T-shirts are always weirdly baggy, and his hair … terrible. He flounces it. Not a hero-like move at all.

But please, tell me. When Caleb first emerged on the scene, he had long hair, and John had semi-short hair, so you could tell them apart. It was like when Connie/Kate were still flipping back and forth and Connie would hilariously rip out whatever ‘sophisticated’ ‘do Kate was rocking, even when it included her awkwardly grappling with bobby pins. Snaps to Kelly Sullivan for making that work. Kind of.

So when “Caleb” started killing people, I was like: why can no one tell them apart?! They have different hair! But I went to the tapes yesterday — meaning I stood in front of my TV with my iPhone and took pictures of John and Caleb, we are nothing if not fancy here at Soap Trope — and I’ll be darned if Caleb didn’t get a hair cut in the midst of killing people/taunting my girl Lucy.

Let’s go to the evidence!

Here is Caleb, being all gross, licking blood.

Hair brushed forward, definitely past shoulders.

And here is John, looking flummoxed. (He looks like this a lot for being an amazing police detective, huh?)

Hair brushed back?

Upon close examination, it looks like they took out Caleb’s ridiculous extensions (so sad) and are just brushing his hair forward and back. Which is hilarious. I mean, what is happening?! Does he have split personalities (how many DID plotlines is too many?) or is Caleb really a vampire?

I’m cool with either, but here’s what: if vampires are a thing on GH, then I see no reason Alan Quartermaine can’t rise from the dead. Maybe the relish is a lifeblood elixir? Call me, Ron! We’ll talk.