Friday, April 25, 2008

When you hear alcoholics say that you know exactly what you mean- the big "Ahhh" moment and you hide the booze... or at least try and act like you have never had a drink before, and would never consider it a possibility in the future.

Sometimes I get the same vibe when I say I am a mom. A stay at home mom.

After the barrage of "so what do you do?"... I am at home with the kids.
"Oh, you do daycare?"... No, I just stay with my children.
"Ohhhh......" and then they move on, like I was poo on a shoe.

In my desperation for adult semi-human contact I usually spit out something about having my own personal herd of children... and all that comes with it. Desperate attempt at silently screaming "I DO something, really! Talk to me, I promise I am not a leper or anything, I really do DO stuff! Not exciting or anything, but STUFF. I. DO. STUFF. TOO!!!"

It is frustrating beyond all measure, to feel like I have to justify myself, over and over, just to feel less like a lifeless lump of squishy mom mass. But I do. And it is over dorky insignificant things...maybe if I violently spew the amount of tedious STUFF I do daily, the sheer quantity of it will negate the mind numbing sameness of it all. OR make me feel even more like the dumpy, exhausted, unfocused housewife I appear to have become.

Maybe THAT's why I get the "ahhhh...ohhhhh" looks. People DO understand that I have no life, and hope it's not catching. Crazy lady with a Herd Of Monkees... STEP BACK!

I'm a mom. Actually, it is a pretty powerful statement- but just because I am, and have the herd... and stay at home (mostly) with them (as much as my sanity allows)... does not mean that I just sit at home and attempt to maintain, and contain, the devils spawn that I have produced and inflicted upon the world, trying desperately to reduce their destruction of the planet.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Another Monday is upon us- I think there are more than one in every 7 day cycle. There has to be. Every time I turn around it feels like it's another one.

Since we last spoke... or rather I ranted, whined, spilled my boring daily life guts... I survived the 14th birthday of the oldest of the Monkees. I feel like he got gypped a little- because what can you buy for a 14 year old, that they like and/or want... that you don't need to take out a 2nd mortgage for?? Honestly- please! If you have this information, please share. I have 6 more 14th birthdays to deal with.

So I flubbered my way through it the best I could. He seemed, not horrified... so in Teen World, I guess we did OK. Knocking on some wood here~

Still trying to recover from The Trip- nothing quite feels like "normal" yet. But as I have mentioned before- I have NO IDEA what normal is anyway.

Also managed to maintain my lunch during, and after my Interview... 6 hour round trip drive...stress beyond all reason... absolutely NO idea if it was a good interview, or a disaster... getting to wait, and wait, and WAIT SOME MORE to find out if I am worthy.

Wow, I am too exhausted to even care anymore. If I am in- groovy. I now have the opportunity to have TONS of stress and homework PLUS student loans. If I am deemed NON worthy, I at least get a few months of couch vegging time, before having to stress out about the entire process all over again in 6 months.

Did I say ugh yet?

In more exciting news- I got to meet awesome people in Oklahoma and Texas, met the Sister and the niece and nephew too. Did I mention AWESOME?

Somewhere along the return flight home, I pinched a LOVERLY nerve in my ampleness. THAT STILL HURTS.

My Sis got engaged AND on Judge Judy... in the same weekend.

Grampa ROCKED his golf tourney, Grama survived having the kids invade for a week- AND it looks like, MAYBE, we all survived yet another Monday.