The pressure is too much...

I've been a SAHM for 9 months. We started our own business so losing my income didn't seem like a big deal, until now. DH goes to work and that's about it. I'm responsible for taking care of LO, my teenager, 2 awful dogs, all dr appts, homework, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, books for our business and managing all of the bills. Somewhere along the line I dropped the ball and missed one of the car payments. I knew one was late and when I went online to pay it and the current months payment, I realized it was actually 3 months behind. This means that it probably has a repo order on it and since all of the other bills just went out we just purchased plane tickets for our upcoming vacation, I'm screwed. I've been a nervous wreck and I'm dreading having this conversation when he gets home tonight. My only job is to keep this house running efficiently and

I've been a SAHM for 9 months. We started our own business so losing my income didn't seem like a big deal, until now. DH goes to work and that's about it. I'm responsible for taking care of LO, my teenager, 2 awful dogs, all dr appts, homework, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, books for our business and managing all of the bills. Somewhere along the line I dropped the ball and missed one of the car payments. I knew one was late and when I went online to pay it and the current months payment, I realized it was actually 3 months behind. This means that it probably has a repo order on it and since all of the other bills just went out we just purchased plane tickets for our upcoming vacation, I'm screwed. I've been a nervous wreck and I'm dreading having this conversation when he gets home tonight. My only job is to keep this house running efficiently and

(I hit post too soon) I'm just trying to say that I feel horrible and mostly because I'm afraid of his reaction. He doesn't miss a beat when bringing up how his shirts in the closet were inside out, he can't find his favorite hat, he ran out of deodorant or the trash cans were left at the curb...I can only imagine what's in store for me this evening.

(I hit post too soon) I'm just trying to say that I feel horrible and mostly because I'm afraid of his reaction. He doesn't miss a beat when bringing up how his shirts in the closet were inside out, he can't find his favorite hat, he ran out of deodorant or the trash cans were left at the curb...I can only imagine what's in store for me this evening.

Thanks. That would be what I would normally try but I had a mini meltdown on friday that caused a huge fight. I literally don't leave the house unless its shopping and LO is always with me. I'm isolated from everyone and I dont get time to myself, EVER. He got pissed and told me that if I needed time slone or outside of the house then I should consider getting a job and then we'll alternate nights out on the weekends. He's so next level on everything. I know that after that fiasco, bringing this up will just give him more ammunition to use against me. How did I get here...

Thanks. That would be what I would normally try but I had a mini meltdown on friday that caused a huge fight. I literally don't leave the house unless its shopping and LO is always with me. I'm isolated from everyone and I dont get time to myself, EVER. He got pissed and told me that if I needed time slone or outside of the house then I should consider getting a job and then we'll alternate nights out on the weekends. He's so next level on everything. I know that after that fiasco, bringing this up will just give him more ammunition to use against me. How did I get here...

You've got way too much going on. We all make mistakes, miss bill payments. Call up the company ASAP and try to get it sorted, maybe even before you talk to DH. Good luck, I really feel for you as I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed.

You've got way too much going on. We all make mistakes, miss bill payments. Call up the company ASAP and try to get it sorted, maybe even before you talk to DH. Good luck, I really feel for you as I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed.

If I were you which a lot of what you say sounds like me I would get rid of the dogs or have them be your teenagers chore. If the older one doesn't already have chores they need to and your husband should take care of the garbage. Maybe arrange for a babysitter and take your husband to dinner and tell him that you appreciate everything that he does but being home all of the time is harder then you thought. If he throws a fit take a weekend or even a day to go shopping or out with a friend without giving him notice and let him see what it is like to be home all day.

If I were you which a lot of what you say sounds like me I would get rid of the dogs or have them be your teenagers chore. If the older one doesn't already have chores they need to and your husband should take care of the garbage. Maybe arrange for a babysitter and take your husband to dinner and tell him that you appreciate everything that he does but being home all of the time is harder then you thought. If he throws a fit take a weekend or even a day to go shopping or out with a friend without giving him notice and let him see what it is like to be home all day.

A lot of people have a lot on their plates. I would not pull the 'poor me' routine people are suggesting. I would say I was sorry for being irresponsible and not paying the car payment and ask him for help paying the bills.

A lot of people have a lot on their plates. I would not pull the 'poor me' routine people are suggesting. I would say I was sorry for being irresponsible and not paying the car payment and ask him for help paying the bills.

No advice on bringing the issue up, but to avoid it in the future, make a spread sheet of all your bills and the due date. Once the bill is paid, check it off for that month. It is easy to keep track this way.

No advice on bringing the issue up, but to avoid it in the future, make a spread sheet of all your bills and the due date. Once the bill is paid, check it off for that month. It is easy to keep track this way.

Don't be cowed by your husband. Tell him that if you weren't so overwhelmed by everything you have to do around the house, you wouldn't have made a mistake like this. It's opportune time to tell him he needs to start pitching in!

You're responsible for buying his deodorant? This guy is way too spoiled and he needs to start taking responsibility in his own life. Stop doing everything for him...he is taking you totally for granted.

Don't be cowed by your husband. Tell him that if you weren't so overwhelmed by everything you have to do around the house, you wouldn't have made a mistake like this. It's opportune time to tell him he needs to start pitching in!

You're responsible for buying his deodorant? This guy is way too spoiled and he needs to start taking responsibility in his own life. Stop doing everything for him...he is taking you totally for granted.

It's not as if you were slacking or did it on purpose-it was an oversight because you are far too overworked. Your DH should be understanding about it. Your DH has a full time job and you have a full time job taking care of your LO. And then there's the business and other financials like bills. DH needs to take on some other family responsibilities-going to work is not enough in your household. There has to be better division of labor and I'm sure this car payment error is enough of a red flag for your hubby to realize he needs to do his part.

It's not as if you were slacking or did it on purpose-it was an oversight because you are far too overworked. Your DH should be understanding about it. Your DH has a full time job and you have a full time job taking care of your LO. And then there's the business and other financials like bills. DH needs to take on some other family responsibilities-going to work is not enough in your household. There has to be better division of labor and I'm sure this car payment error is enough of a red flag for your hubby to realize he needs to do his part.

You should see about setting up these bills to automatically get paid every month online. My husband is in charge of paying the bills because he is the one that makes the money and is better with money management. If you don't have the money to pay for the late car payments then something isn't working in your budget and you both need to sit down and go over it together.Also, I keep a white board in my kitchen so that as we run out of or are low on things it is both our responsibility to write it on the board so that when I do the weekly shopping I know exactly what I need to get. If he tells me to get something I tell him to write it on the board so I won't forget.If the dogs are stressing you out you either need to train them or get rid of them. Animals should be a joy to have in your home, not a nuisance. I own 2 dogs and I trained them since they were puppies (they are now 5) and they are such a joy to have in our home. If they are your husbands then he needs to take the time to train them. Both my husband and myself were working full time when they were puppies so don't let him use working as an excuse not to train them himself.

You should see about setting up these bills to automatically get paid every month online. My husband is in charge of paying the bills because he is the one that makes the money and is better with money management. If you don't have the money to pay for the late car payments then something isn't working in your budget and you both need to sit down and go over it together.Also, I keep a white board in my kitchen so that as we run out of or are low on things it is both our responsibility to write it on the board so that when I do the weekly shopping I know exactly what I need to get. If he tells me to get something I tell him to write it on the board so I won't forget.If the dogs are stressing you out you either need to train them or get rid of them. Animals should be a joy to have in your home, not a nuisance. I own 2 dogs and I trained them since they were puppies (they are now 5) and they are such a joy to have in our home. If they are your husbands then he needs to take the time to train them. Both my husband and myself were working full time when they were puppies so don't let him use working as an excuse not to train them himself.

I know it can be hard, I do pretty much everything you've said you do. The one thing that helps dh and I is that every week when I go to the bank to pay the bills and get out our weekly money I get a print outbid our balance to take home and show hubby so that we can sit down and go through our finances. Also if hubby tells me he needs deodorant or is running low, there's a list on the fridge, write it down. My hubby is lucky if I hang up his clothes for him, usually I do all the laundry, fold and bring it upstairs, he's a big boy he can put it away himself. (I also used to put it away for him, but got tired of all the whining about not knowing where anything was, despite going through all his drawers several times with him. So I don't do it anymore). If he put his hat some where, he can find it his damn self. If the garbage can wasn't brought back up the driveway, well he has two legs and is perfectly capable of doing it, so he can do it. I would take a break if I were you, or go on strike, your hubby obviously has no idea how hard it is to keep a household running smoothly.

I know it can be hard, I do pretty much everything you've said you do. The one thing that helps dh and I is that every week when I go to the bank to pay the bills and get out our weekly money I get a print outbid our balance to take home and show hubby so that we can sit down and go through our finances. Also if hubby tells me he needs deodorant or is running low, there's a list on the fridge, write it down. My hubby is lucky if I hang up his clothes for him, usually I do all the laundry, fold and bring it upstairs, he's a big boy he can put it away himself. (I also used to put it away for him, but got tired of all the whining about not knowing where anything was, despite going through all his drawers several times with him. So I don't do it anymore). If he put his hat some where, he can find it his damn self. If the garbage can wasn't brought back up the driveway, well he has two legs and is perfectly capable of doing it, so he can do it. I would take a break if I were you, or go on strike, your hubby obviously has no idea how hard it is to keep a household running smoothly.

I felt with the same in the past but believe me IT GETS BETTER! My DH has been wonderful to me and its because we had many arguments over the same things your going through and we figured out a plan that works for us both. I spoil him and he does the same for me. It should be the same for you and your DH. Remember, it is a responsibility as a SAHM to take care of all those things. It's part of being a mom and wife.

I felt with the same in the past but believe me IT GETS BETTER! My DH has been wonderful to me and its because we had many arguments over the same things your going through and we figured out a plan that works for us both. I spoil him and he does the same for me. It should be the same for you and your DH. Remember, it is a responsibility as a SAHM to take care of all those things. It's part of being a mom and wife.

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