Choose your own adventure! *Now with more blood!*

Alright, due to the popular consensus that this Forum won't be around much longer, I thought I'd give you guys one last glimpse of my brilliance, and the oppurtunity to participate in it! So, if you haven't done one of these with me before, here's how it works:
I write a segment of the story and give you a list of choices that the character(s) could make next. Some choices might be menial like opening a door vs. opening a chest, and other's might be disastrous like fighting with a shotgun vs. fighting with a tooth pick. So be smart with what you choose! And speaking of being smart...
[u]Rules[/u]
1. The first person to respond with a choice is the one I'll choose. You can argue and bicker all you want, but that's that. If some dick decides to come ruin the game...well then, it's your fault for supporting that kind of behavior all these years.
2. Don't demand me to be inhumanly consistent. It's likely that I could go hours, or even days without posting another segment. No, you cannot offer to take over the job for me while I'm gone. No, I will not accept answers over PMs. No, you cannot be in the story nor do your opinions on the story have any bearing on what will happen next.
3. No editing your post. After you've made a choice, that's it. If you edit your post, I will ignore it and move on to the next answer (assuming there is another one) given.
That's all I can think of right now...just don't be a jerk. That's my job.
Anyway, let's get this started! In the spirit of Halloween, which is coming up soon, I've decided to go back to my roots and make this a gruesome zombie story.
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Ivan smiled at his date, hoping she couldn't tell it was fake. The night had been one disaster after another and it all started wtih the fake rat in the punch bowl. Ivan thought it was funny, she threatened to sue.
"So Ivan, how are you enjoying your clam chowder?"
"My what?"
The girl (he had already forgotten her name) glared at him, "Your clam chowder. Pay attention when I talk to you!"
"I am paying attention...babe." In reality, he was really paying attention to the massive wart hanging off her chin.
"What are you looking at?" she demanded.
Ivan looked at her chin, longing to snip that thing off and muttered, "What?"
"That's it! If you aren't going to pay attention then I'll just leave!"
Ivan was broken from his trance as she stood up. "Wait...babe wait! Babe!"
He watched as she walked to the door, unsure as to whether he should finish his clam chowder first, or run out and drag her back to the table.
[i]Should Ivan:
1. Eat his clam chowder.
2. Try and stop her.[/i]

Ivan shook his head, "Screw it. Without the promise of a hot girl, it just ain't worth it." With that, he turned on his heel and ran.
After reaching the outskirts of the city, Ivan saw a hill and thought it would be the perfect place to watch the aftermath of everything that had happened. He climbed the hill and sat on top, looking down at the sprawling city with a sense of complacency, knowing that he would be safe now.
At that moment, he heard a plane fly overhead and looked up just in time to see it drop a string of bombs. One of those bombs just happened to land on the hill Ivan was sitting on.
In time, people would wonder what had caused this zombie epidemic. Thousands would wonder if the government was responsible and if, just maybe, something in that skyscraper held the key to stopping the zombies or even reversing the effects. The government would make the claim that, had there been one sane person in the city, they would have held off on the bomb. The hill wasn't part of the bombing, it was merely a miscalculation due to the bad weather.
[i]And that's it. I must admit, I was surprised it got even this far...although I didn't expect anyone to fall for the "run for his life" choice now. I hope you enjoyed it. I know this wasn't a serious as my last ones were, but who knows, maybe I'll do another one....like I have anything better to do.[/i]
[Edited on 09.28.2008 8:52 PM PDT]

As Ivan was looking through the racks, he saw what looked like the holy grail of weapons. he turned to the lady and asked quizzically, "How in the world did you get a grenade launcher?"
She shrugged, "I thought all gun stores had one."
He hefted the weapon in his hands and smiled, "I think this will do just fine."
"Good," she said, bringing her shotgun to bear, "Because it looks like they're coming."
"Wait," Ivan said, "Before we start, what's your name? It's getting really annoying for me to keep referring to you as the 'crazy old lady'."
The bat-crazy lady from Hell smiled, "My name is Clara."
"Right, now shut up and start shooting zombies!"
Ivan pointed at the zombies which had now started pounding at the door. He quickly pulled the trigger and sent a grenade flying at them, only to watch it bounce off the reinforced, bullet-proof windows and land at Clara's feet.
Clara looked down and muttered, "Oh shi--" before being blown to pieces.
Ivan stared in shock for a moment and then smiled, "That means I don't have to pay for any of this. Looks like all that careful decision making was pointless!"
At that moment, a zombies hand punched through the door, sending it flying off its hinges. Ivan launched a grenade into the group of zombies and smiled as blasted apart, leaving only two standing. He quickly snatched up a pistol and, with a steady aim built from years of shooting cats in his back yard, blew each zombie's head off.
Ivan waited, expecting another wave of zombies. After several minutes of silence and complete boredom on Ivan's part, he walked to the entry way and looked out.
The zombies had all converged in the middle of the city and were surrounding a skyscraper. Thousands of zombies pressing in against each other, all of them trying to move into the building.
Ivan had no idea what they found so interesting about that skyscraper, but he knew that his next decision would possibly change the course of this entire city. Or just get him killed.
[i]Should Ivan:
1. Try and get to the building?
2. Grab whatever guns would make a sweet fight scene and start killing zombies?
3. Run for his life and hope everything would work out for the city?[/i]

[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ShadowHalo94
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AK 47625714
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Gruntslayer5145
one shotgun, one UZI
EDIT: Dang'it, to late[/quote]MUAHAHAHAHAHA![/quote]
Should of gone with the one shotgun, one uzi.[/quote]Grenade Launchers are fun though. Look at it from my point of view. You can cause destruction on a massive scale, you can take out a group of zombies with one shot, and it goes BOOM!

"If I'm gonna be killing zombies," he muttered, "I might as well do it all here. It's not like I have anything better to do anyway."
"Who's in my store?"
Ivan jumped in the air when he heard the shrill voice of a woman in another room. He looked over to see the source of the voice come striding through the back door. She looked to be in her forties and her hair was tangled in knots and she wore bright blue overalls over a plaid shirt. Ivan looked up and muttered, "If this is the girl I'm supposed to save the day with then I swear I'll shoot her right now." The only answer he received was a sharp rap on the back of his head.
Ivan yelped and rubbed his head as he turned to look at her again, "What's your problem?"
"You want to buy something?" she asked, glaring at him.
"No I--"
"Then get out! I don't like loiterers!"
Ivan stared at her incredulously, "You do realize this city is crawling with zombies right?"
"Well if they're paying customers then that's fine with me!"
"No," Ivan said with a pained expression, "They will [i]eat you[/i]."
She stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing, "Eat me? I haven't showered in days! No one would want to eat me!"
Ivan was about to argue but he had to concede that she made a very good point. At that moment it was all he could do to keep himself from running back into the streets and letting the zombies eat him just to escape the smell.
"Well listen, the zombies are after me and I need your help to fight them off!"
The lady nodded thoughtfully, "If you live, will you pay me for every gun and bullet you use?"
Ivan stared at her for a moment and then shrugged, "Sure."
"Great! Then let's get a barricade set up...or whatever it is you people do."
"Right, but first, I need some weapons."
[i]You now have to equip Ivan.
Ivan should have:
One shotgun, three pistols?
Two shotguns, one pistol?
Four uzis?
A grenade launcher?
One shotgun, one uzi?[/i]

Ivan shook his head, "Was I really debating between a sporting goods store and a [i]gun store[/i]? I must be dumber than this zombie." He looked at the zombie who was still flailing its arms, "Then again..." He quickly stepped aside and removed his hand, letting the zombie fall flat on its face. With a chuckle, Ivan ran out the door and down the road. The zombies didn't seem to notice him until he passed them, but when he did, they suddenly seemed intent on chasing him. [i]They must have had their fill of my ugly date,[/i] he thought to himself.
Ivan entered the gun store, dripping from the rain. He examined the weapons at his disposal and nodded in satisfaction. He didn't have much time and he had to make some decisions, the first being whether he wanted to stay here or not.
[i]Should he:
1. Hold his ground at the gun store?
2. Grab whatever he can and make a break for it?[/i]