Behind the taps is a list of all the players with 500 or more home runs. And, according to the list, Jim Thome is just 441 shy of the milestone and Mike Schmidt remains active despite retiring in 1989 and being 61. Maybe that's why Philadelphia got Hunter Pence: to protect Schmidt in the lineup.

Anyway, I had four more Natural Lights, the Yankees' farm team defeated Boston's farm team (at least according to "Pete", who according to "Dale" lives in the men's room behind section 113), and on top of the first base dugout the Drive mascot defeated the Chick Fil-A cow in a first-round knock out.