I stopped watching the news because I’ve grown to the point personally where I can no longer sit and be marketed to in trade for two bimbette spokesholes and an old guy to read a teleprompter full of corporate driven drivel approved at the highest levels of the very corporatocracy profiting on their ability to abuse what little attention I have to offer.

I unplugged, I turned it off, I know longer care, I also no longer know what’s going on in the world around me and I’m completely OK with it because I can’t do anything about it. My head shaking, my hand wringing is not going to put American jobs back on the table, it is not going to solve the violence in the middle east or our own domestic problems here. So fuck it. I’m done.

I would like to thank the genius who came up with the brilliance that is 9/11 collector coins for being the very product that pushed me over the edge. I was sitting up consuming various snacks late at night in between some 24 hour coverage of rioting or black Friday shopping or election coverage, I don’t remember.

I do however, have a full grasp on the 9/11 collector coins. Brought to us by “artisan craftsman”. Really? Artisan craftsman? I imagine a frail Italian man with a jewelers loop in a quaint shop putting the fine touches on Bin Laden’s beard. Making sure the apache helicopter, twin towers and flexing Eagle on the other side brings thoughts of freedom, patriotism and revenge.

1 coin is $19.99 yet has a $40 value. They are selling fake money at half the price of its value that people are buying with real money which is also worth less than its actual value.

Who are buying these?

Who are these morons consuming the lies of mindless television, the guy who watches this commercial and sees a grandfather who fought in WWII, a real war with a real enemy and a real purpose, sitting down with his grandson and high fiving over the revenge murder of a terrorist our own government trained.

It comes in a handsome collector sleeve with reenactment photos from the Assault on Bin Laden’s compound. WHO IS THE ASSHOLE RECREATING THIS FOR THE PHOTO OP?

Who are buying these?

It’s the people who believe the news is real. It’s the people who have bought the lie that their attention, their opinion, their patriotism matter and they are the same people enslaved to their couch waiting to be scared by the next boogieman that CNN or Fox News can create for them.

It’s the same people who consume wrestling as sports entertainment.

It’s the same people who vote.

America is that white trash neighbor who lives down the street. He’s single, he drives a foreign car with a spoiler on it and an American model on blocks in his side yard. He’s awful with money and is up to his ears in debt, he’s out of work and really doesn’t contribute to the general good of the neighborhood except when he picks a fight with the middle eastern family a couple streets down because he’s fearful and refuses to do anything about his Mexican neighbor next door because that’s where he gets his weed.

That’s who buying those coins.

America is.

Not in John Tole’s America.

Enjoy your week folks, embrace your loved ones and start working out. The apocalypse is all about cardio and your time is running out.