Baby we can go and have rich sexBaby girl, go and have rich sexYou ain’t ever ever had rich sexYou ain’t ever ever had rich sex

Future – Rich $ex

A wise woman once said: never argue with the future. It doesn’t exist. That’s some zen right there. Well, this week, we recommend you never argue with Future. The dude knows sexy. Like, Future knows more about sexiness than Alex Trebek knows trivia. We kept humming along to his track Rich $ex while we checked the galleries of our newest Playmate. It’s sexiness with a soundtrack.

Last week, we told you how Jennifer Lawrence is worried her “hymen is growing back.” Well, things aren’t getting any better for J-Law. This week, she told an interviewer that she had to get drunk to perform a sex scene. But it’s not what you think. Her partner’s a happily married man. Wait, that makes it sound worse. She was feeling guilty so she got drunk. That doesn’t make it sound… look, she explains it better. She’s a sweet girl, and clearly needs a good man to show up in her life.

On Saturday, professional badass Ronda Rousey squared-off against Holly Holm. And wouldn’t you know it–Holm shook up the world! She knocked out Rousey with a brutal headkick. Ka-blow! Oh no! Fight’s out! Holm just kicked yo…lights out. There’s been a lot of talk about her stunning upset. Some say Rousey will never fight again. Others say the match was fixed. We say: …um, did you see those ring girls?! Like, whoa!

A photo posted by Nutritionist - to - be 🍃 (@kahiliblundell) on Nov 13, 2015 at 5:13pm PST

You ever watch Pretty Little Liars? No? It wasn’t on our DVR, either. But what about the greatest advertisement for Florida ever made…Spring Breakers? Did you catch that movie? If so, you may remember Ashley Benson.

This week, she was spotted sporting cleavage to raise money for charity. And we’ve got to say, we always love to see sexiness being used to advance a good cause. You’re the best, Ashley.

Speaking of Amber Rose, she and her partner-in-sexy, Blac Chyna, are famous for how they tighten jeans with the same ease they toss shade. Effortlessly. Together, the duo is a sight to behold. Check for yourself.

This week, Blac Chyna went solo and found a new dance partner. She was rubbing her bubble against Future like he was a genie’s bottle and she wanted to make a wish. But what do you expect for his new vid for Rich $ex? Go ahead… we’ll wait.

We thought you might also want to check Lauren’s behind-the-scenes vid from her recent Playboy shoot. She looks like an anime fantasy come to life.

It’s almost the end of the year. You know know what that means, right? Soon, someone close to you will ask, “Hey, what do you want for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Boxing Day?” You may have to think a moment. Don’t. Here’s what you tell them, “Get me Abigail Ratchford’s 2016 calendar!” Abigail’s been sharing some sneak-peek shots to whet our appetites. But she overdid it. She’s got dudes drooling on their desks like St. Bernards. For real.

She plays no games. Okay, since you’re already halfway there… did you know you can think your way into an orgasm? There’s no joke. It’s true. Just you, yourself, and your imagination. Then, suddenly, you’re clutching at the sheets as your body is climaxing like Fourth of July fireworks. Does that sound too good to be true? Well, go ahead and read this.

Have you met Julia Gilas? She’s a fitness model from San Diego. And she’s unreal. We want to know: what’s a stunner like her doing in a sleepy town like San Diego? Just goes to show, every city holds sexy secrets. But, there’s only one Julia Gilas.

You hear the one about the woman who’s looking to trade sex for Harry Potter tickets? Yes, we’re serious. There’s a new theme park dedicated to all things wizarding that’s under construction at Universal Studios in Los Angeles. One woman really, really, wants tickets.

Speaking of mixing sex and icons of literature… this week, some parody adult film producers of the Silicone Valley got into the Christmas spirit. (Because nothing says “let’s celebrate Baby Jesus” quite like group sex.) If you’re looking for a new Christmas-themed adult film to make part of your annual tradition, we have good news. This one’s based on the Dr. Seuss classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Yes. Because who doesn’t want to see the Grinch get naked and naughty? (How do these people stay in business? Seriously.) Ready for the title? It’s called How the Grinch Gaped Christmas. The sexy little Christmas story begins…

But, but, but, wait, it gets… worse. Yeah, sorry about that. Well, look, really it all depends on your perspective, and what you think of Faygo. Have you ever heard of the Miss Juggalette beauty pageant? If you’re looking to test the boundaries of what you might find sexy, look no farther. As she tells it, 2009’s winner made a microphone disappear up her… we’ll let you guess where. Enjoy!

And now back to our regularly scheduled program of sexiness… You know what we love about MILFs? There’s something extra special about a woman who knows who she is and how to use all her million specific charms in the service of her sexuality. So, we wanted to ask you, who do you think’s the hottest celebrity MILF in the game?

This week, Yoonj Kim stepped behind the heavy velvet curtains, went backstage, and chatted with a gaggle of strippers to hear their secrets. Yoonj is like the Oprah of Orgasms because she had a roomful of exotic dancers giving up all their secrets. They opened up to her like night-blooming jasmine. Ones who give off the scent of sex. One dark-haired dancer breaks down the appeal and power dynamic of their profession:

“In my opinion, I feel like pussy is the most powerful thing. ‘Cause most men do the things they do so they can get pussy.”

Don’t be that guy. Get tested. Know your status. As the Playboy Advisor recommended this week, always be honest with your partners Also, use condoms. Not just to protect against HIV, but because STIs are a very real risk for anyone who’s sexually active. Like, did you know that lately chlamydia cases have spiked in the U.S.? No joke. Wrap your magic stick, Harry Potter.

Rad tells reporter Charlotte Edwardes how many women he has slept with and says a world-famous supermodel is begging him for sex. He also talks about an attraction to “ugly” women as well as smart ones. Which leads to this exchange between Rad, Edwardes and Tinder vp communications Rosette Pambakian:

“There’s a term for someone who gets turned on by intellectual stuff. You know, just talking. What’s the word?” His face creases the effort of trying to remember. “I want to say ‘sodomy’?”

“That’s it. We’re going to be fired,” says Pambakian.

“I tell him it means something else and he thumbs his phone for a definition,” writes Edwardes.

Tara*, a 40-year-old who works at a state finance office, started sexting guys she met on Scrabble-inspired app Words with Friends. It almost led to the breakup of her relationship. “The first guy started messaging me on the app in 2012,” she says. “I am very shy in person and communicate more comfortably when I’m texting. After a while we started sexting. He sent me pictures and videos. I sent him some pictures but no nudes. For a while it was fun and exciting and then disgusting. My behavior got riskier and riskier, until I passed out one night with my phone in my lap and my fiancé found a video of one of the guys jerking off. We had a big fight and he took back my ring.”

For some folks, sex makes their mind grow hectic like a cocaine monkey.

The story goes: she and her ex-husband were at their shared storage unit, getting his stuff so he could move back in. How sweet. Then, Luper got all horned-up. She couldn’t wait to get home for satisfaction. So, Luper dropped her panties. Her ex-husband said okay, and he told her to lay on the ground. But she wanted to be on top. Her ex-husband preferred missionary. A fistfight broke-out. Cops arrived, and found the half-dressed couple fighting about fucking. Oh, Florida… please never change.

Wait, what’s that? Did you say something, Florida?

Unlike Luper’s ex-husband, if you would like to know the best sex positions for a woman to get off, this video with Dr. Lori Buckley of the Sinclair Institute has a few for you and your girl to try tonight.

Well, we’ve reached the end of another incredibly sexy week. And now, to send you off with a grin, enjoy this vid of four blondes who each compete for your attention. You may have to watch it four times just to be safe…. and satisfied.