Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Shacking Up: Everybody Poops

I've decided that this blog is missing some structure. And that it's a good idea to introduce a little structure by way of segments.

Now you'll be able to check in periodically (or subscribe) and see posts that are somewhat cohesive. Or something.

Anyway, my first new addition is going to be titled "Shacking Up". And it's my guide to living in sin with your significant other. It's very much only related to my experiences in this department and is in no way meant to generalize towards the rest of the shacking up population.

One of the biggest differences between not living with your boyfriend and living with your boyfriend is poo.

See, a lot of guys are completely not ready for the shared bathroom scenario. As my brother once said, girls don't poop. And it's hard to shatter that image. But trust me, girls poop. And if you live with one you'll learn that a lot of them poo only at home. So get used to it.

After a few months of communal bathrooming, you become more comfortable with you SO and then something kind of weird may happen. You may (or maybe it's just us) start tinkling with the door ajar. I've decided to view this as a sign that we're just that much more comfortable with each other.

That's right, hearing a steady stream is a sign of accomplishment in a relationship.

However, do not think that it's okay to drop a deuce with the door open. That's a never gonna happen - never want to hear situation. But you will become more comfortable discussing bowel movements while watching reruns of Scrubs. And you'll be surprised at the frequency with which you toot in mixed company.

It's a sign of the times. And times they are a changing.

...Oh God. Did I really just talk about poop? It looks like we're all shacking up now...