Almost all memory of Tony Hayward has now ‘disappeared’ say US officials.

New measures by engineers have led experts to believe that people’s memory of the largest and most politically embarrassing figure to come out of the UK for decades are starting to dissipate.

Since Bob Dudley took over earlier in the month, more and more people have stopped caring about Mr Hayward, with some forgetting who he is completely. Plans are now moving towards permanently eradicating his memory from the US.

There was an initial surge in Americans’ interest in the former BP Chief when reports of his pension scheme surfaced. However, with the Clinton wedding, the approaching mid-terms and the announcement of the Fall TV schedules, Americans soon started to lose interest.

“The memory of Tony Hayward throughout the US is disappearing in much the same way that an enormous amount of oil would dissipate into the sea” an expert said.

Tony Hayward had angered many in the US when his reserved attitude was seen as insensitive by people in a country where overstated melodrama would have been more appropriate.

“We expect that in a few weeks no one will know or care about Mr Hayward anymore” said a US spokesman.

Nice - you might put in somewhere that "part of his reputation had been eaten by the Media, most of the rest had evaporated of its own volition, leading to him fading from the public consciousness". Or something like that.