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Sexual Escalation

How to Progress Sexually With Women

Most men are interested in dating science because they want to get better at interacting with beautiful women. Whether your goal is to land a playboy model, or to start dating that cute barista at Starbucks, you need to learn how to sexually progress. Otherwise, you are likely to get the all too familiar “let’s just be friends”. Unfortunately, most men are afraid to act out on their sexual desires, and the result is that they never push any boundaries with women. This causes their game to plateau below their potential, leaving the best opportunities to those willing to push the limits.

A good parallel is with an athlete trying to improve their skills. I have a friend who white water kayaks, and he was telling me about his adventures. If he never paddled rapids out of his comfort zone, he would still be kayaking on dinky one foot waves. Instead, he goes out with friends that he can learn from, and makes sure he paddles a section of the river that is just a little bit out of his comfort zone. That way he can improve his skills, while making sure he doesn’t end up in the hospital. Now when he goes white water kayaking, the dangers are real – but he takes constant, yet small steps to take things up a notch. Not surprisingly, the worst thing that has happened to him is a pulled muscle.

In comparison, if you are too afraid to leave your comfort zone while learning to meet women of quality, you will find that the quality of women you approach is always low (i.e. your version of the dinky one foot wave). It’s safe but not very fun, and you will never improve.

Much like a kayaker challenging himself to find the perfect wave, you must push the limits of sexual escalation before you can find the right balance. Without ever pushing too far or too fast, you will never know if you are pushing fast or far enough. When you don’t get the result you wanted with a woman, make note of it, and then you adjust your approach for next time.

A prerequisite for being able to progress with women is understanding that they enjoy sex just as much as men – they just take a different route towards sex. All one needs to do is pick up a copy of “My Secret Garden” by Nancy Friday to have this epiphany .The book is an evocative collection of fantasies sent to Friday by normal, everyday women.

Now that I’ve covered some of the background on sexual escalation I am going to provide some practical tips:

You Don’t Need “Big Moves”

When meeting women you should always be commanding a sexual presence. Your two best tools for this are speech and body language. To start off, try holding your initial handshake for a second longer than normal while keeping eye contact. After that, try calibrating her to see if she is receptive to your sexual overtones. When talking, keep a slow pace, measured pace, and make sure to use pauses to add effect. Have fun with this – you can even try ordering a coffee using sexual subtext.

By immediately creating a sexual presence and calibrating the situation you can quickly screen for a women’s sexual openness. That way, if she doesn’t respond you can quickly move on to something else.

Leave Them Better Than You Found Them

This is a principle I have always operated under, and I cannot stress this enough. Don’t make a girl do something she doesn’t want to do – she should feel great doing even the most “dirty” things. Make her feel like she is sharing in a fun, exciting sexual adventure with you.

This also applies to setting the right frame for later on when you progress further. If there is something you want to happen down the road, make her feel good about it. Tell her “you would look so hot doing ...” or “the most fun I ever had with a woman was doing...” Those sorts of statements will create positive associations with whatever sex act you are talking about.

Most women derive pleasure from pleasing someone they like. Let her know you are enjoying whatever she is doing to/for/with you. Tell her “I love the way you do that” or “you look really sexy doing that”. It is important to be supportive of a woman as you progress with her. Men that express their sexual desires without any regard for the woman are considered to be sleazy, and you don’t want to fall into that group. This sort of disregard for women is also a good way of guaranteeing there will be no repeat performances.

Creating the Right State of Mind

To successfully progress with a woman, you must demonstrate to her that you want her, but that you do not need her. This is another example of the importance of finding the right balance. If you pretend you are not interested whatsoever, she will move on to someone else, or just peg you as a friend. However, if you act needy towards her, she will be turned off. Beautiful women like a little bit of a challenge. That is where wanting comes in – make it clear that while you are interested in her sexually, you live in a state of abundance, and will meet your needs somewhere else if she doesn’t respond to you. Basically, you must always be willing to walk away.

Finally, I know I’ve written about this before, but it is essential to remember that this is all a part of one great learning process. There is no such thing as rejection – only feedback. As you start to push the limits of sexual escalation, keep track of how women are reacting. Be confident, have fun with it, and keep escalating faster and further until you have to bring things down a notch – that is when you know you are starting to approach the right balance in your game.

"Jeremy Soul really is a cocktail of awesome. He has charisma, enthusiasm and an amazing ability to keep a positive attitude regardless of the situation. But below all that you can't ignore the overwhelming desire that this guy has to succeed. He makes no bones about the effort he's had to put in or the shit tonne of hard work and heartbreak that inevitably arose along the way, but it was impossible for that mindset for success not to rub off on me." - The Aston