Fightlinker Contest: Insult Me, Win Free Crap

Greetings, fools. As you’ve probably surmised, Fightlinker is in a bit of a transition period. But I say let’s make the most of it.

Since a few of you have tried to be witty by hurling half-assed insults in the comments section, we’ll make it a contest: Insult me employing all the humor, snark, creativity and brains you can muster, and to the best one I will mail a prize. But it has to be a good insult – and yes, I will be the judge. If it sounds like your insult was crafted in the dark recesses of your basement while your mom was getting railed by your overweight stepdad upstairs, I will sense those bitter tears in your eyes. If your effort betrays the fact that you ride around in a mobility scooter because in the fifth grade you realized you could skip gym and now your ass is fat, I will sense that laziness. SO MAKE IT GOOD.

What are the prizes? I don’t know. It could be this. It could be some old Full Contact Fighter t-shirts that were never worn and have been languishing in my drawer for years. Heck, it could even be this thing Zuffa was giving out to the press at UFC 33:

(Just the bag. I keep the arm.)

Judging by some of your efforts thus far, there are a few of you who are destined to lose. But I have faith that there’s at least one shining star among you.

When I was a kid & bullying wasn’t called “bullying,” it was just called being an adolescent. There were kids you picked on b/c they were weak & supposed to be targets for those physically stronger or socially higher up. There were kids you picked on b/c they personally bothered you on an intimate level that goes beyond traditional bullying. Then there were the kids who were so far beyond pathetic that picking on them made YOU look weak. I shant pick on GeniaLinker for this reason.

And on a serious note b/c this abhorrent situation has made me melancholy, Genia is a very cool guy IRL that any Jackal would enjoy sharing a beer or splitting a 2 pack of Chocodiles with. But Jimbo….you are NOT a Jackal. Most of the current posters aren’t Jackals either. Without naming names, you know who you are. The site has been dead for a while, so I’m not exactly surprised. And Genia…..Ryan would NEVER respond to a personal attack with vitriol. He saw it for what it was, the equivalent of school age spitballs & noogies that any mature adult wouldn’t take personally. Unlike Leddy (who is cool as fuck IRL), I’m not going to post & come back. frickshun is signing off for good. Anybody who is hooked up on FB, I’ll see you there or maybe on the chat where we have to save the link to our favorites b/c it isn’t truly connected to FL any more. Peace & love you flaming cunts.

jim genia

Wow. Adam, you are now in the lead with the couch thing.

jim genia

frick, I haven’t taken anything personally. I’m just the kid in school who would throw spitballs and dispense noogies back. Although some of these guys I think I would’ve stuffed into lockers.

Sorry to see you go, man. BTW, the next UCL is November 17 if you’re interested.

CAP

It’s been fun fricker. Don’t get hurt in the sand playboy.

Nick

You are as interesting as Sylvia v Arlovski 4. You’re a miscarriage of journalism that I hope Quinton Jackson runs a jeep into. I’ve seen better writing in Palhares’ personal journal.

subo

This place disintegrated without me.

ringrunner

Do I really need to insult you?! I’ll just pull up a random article from last year & point out your wrong doings…

Nick wins for “I’ve seen better writing in Palhares’ personal journal.” THE END.

brandon

oh man, what a fun idea. I must preface my words by saying Im a longtime fan of the site. It’s part of my wasting time on the internet routine. In my top 5 (not just mma, but all sites to visit)

but shit, you know how it’s fun to f*ck around and burn your friends. Ya know, your mom jokes, observational humor..good classic stuff. But then you know how there’s some insults that are just so true it’s hard to even make jokes about them properly and still remain on good terms? That’s sort of the position fightlinker has put me in.

Rhufio

So is there going to be some kind of farewell post from Ryan ?

glassjawsh

When the head writer left watch kalib run, it immediately went from small quirky blog that everyone went to for laulz to sanctimonious unfunny lukewarm pig farts. Within a year SB Nation pulled the plug on the site.

The exact same thing is going to happen here. Except that Jim Vagina somehow manages to be even more pretentious and awful than all three of the cock smears they had churning out drivel over there. This is the death rattle to something that once was great. But instead of letting it pass with some semblance of dignity, you people are hooking it up to life support and whoring it out for all it’s worth. disgusting.

Genia is about as appealing as a bowl full of enema backwash and varicose veins. But the most damning thing of all might be that Greg “frickshun” Rubin vouched for him on a personal level. Goddamn this place.

Shibo

Wait up, Frick. I’m coming too. Bye. And, subo just won that contest.

Letibleu

Genia is so bad at writing he tried to recruit help from MMA dot fucking TV (the UG).

glassjawsh, you really don’t seem to have a talent for this. Maybe you should go practice on Yahoo’s Cagewriter blog, build up your confidence?

Letibleu, you keep saying goodbye and yet you keep reappearing. I believe you have “battered wife syndrome”. Just break the cycle, man.

Adam, since you’re in the lead, I guess you can start thinking about which prize you want (yes, I will let you choose). I will, however, decide on the best insult in the morning, so there’s still time for some last-minute entries.

ringrunner

I made the fail list on fightlinker! screw the purse, give me a backpack! thx anyways keep on keepin on FL

Letibleu

I can’t help it… it’s like a car wreck, I can’t look away!

http://casesyfuckingcorner.webs.com Casey

You write as if you’ve been injured by your father serving you some stove top stuffing. And by that I mean he has had vicious sex with you while pushed up against a kitchen appliance. It was at least one third consensual.

TremblingEagle

Who the fuk are you? Where is Ryan??
we don’t have to listen to you
ur not even our real dad

AcadianBacon

I’ve been visiting this site since Ryan & Jake started it up and loved it’s quirky humor. I have not posted in a long time, but have been lurking in the shadows, spying on Cap, frickshun, glassjawsh, and letibleu’s of the world. The real Jackals that have been here forever. So, what the fuck happened to Ryan anyway? I wondered the same thing about Jake when he disappeared, but assumed it was just a reacharound too many. I’m disappointed in the site and have been for awhile. When Ryan tried to monetize the site, that’s when it went downhill. The appeal of this site was the feel of it. Ryan didn’t sound like he was trying. More like failing miserably. And being gleefully open about it. Frick was right about him never being vitriolic. He just accepted that by putting his thoughts out there he was opening himself up to ridicule. For the most part, that ridicule was not malicious…it was the equivalent of a wet willy, or a back slap, or a good punch in the arm. Anyhoo…toodles fuckers. It’s been fun.

Adam

I’m just gonna go ahead and give my victory speech now, I guess. I’d like to thank Ryan, Jacob, Jacob’s insanely hot ex-fiancee, The Good Atheist, Subo, all the people who contributed to the comments sections on this site that I have completely ignored for the past 5 years or so until literally yesterday, Rousimar Palhares, Bjorn Rebney, Pol Pot, and especially, Jesus Christ. Yus! Suck it Jack-alls!

Adam

And I’ll take the laptop bag, I haven’t bought anything for my wife for Christmas yet.

Reverend Clint

I will have nothing to do with your sack sir

Have to Agree!

This site has gone from underground to under ground. Genia (amongst others) carries the golden shovel. It’s amusing that Jim has created a contest to salvage his ego (professional and personal) from the veiled and overt jabs at his editorial choices. Shameless….just not in the way that FL used to be.