Recession's toll on children

Parents aren't the only ones who suffer when jobs are lost and money is tight

September 20, 2009|By Leslie Brody, McClatchy/Tribune News

Therapists, school psychologists and guidance counselors say they've seen a growing number of children struggling with stress due to their families' financial problems.

A sense of crisis can bring deep anxiety or depression, especially if parents vent their aggravation, fight about money or switch school districts, experts say. While parental unemployment and bill collectors are familiar to children in poverty-stricken neighborhoods, they come as a harsh surprise to young people used to comfortable lifestyles. Add them to modern fears of terrorism and global warming, as well as the normal angst of adolescence, and you get an unnerving mix.

"We're living in very difficult times," said Rosalind Dorlen, a psychologist and the American Psychological Association's public education coordinator for New Jersey. "It would be naive to assume kids going through this would be unaffected. Is this going to be the 'Worried Generation?'"

Seventy-four percent of parents say the recession has increased stress in their families, and 33 percent say their children have expressed concern or nervousness about the economy, according to a recent nationwide survey by Wakefield Research, a pollster. Grown-ups' fears trickle down: Children whose parents feel fiscal anxiety are four times more likely than other children to feel upset about family finances.

Keith Bogen, who runs the Whine and Dine networking group in Paramus, N.J., for human resource professionals, has been looking for work for 14 months while building his business. His boys, ages 7 and 10, feel the strain sometimes.

"When the ice cream truck comes around, and all the other kids are getting ice cream, Dad says no because we can't afford it," Bogen said. On a deeper level, "they see Mom and Dad tussle more; there's fighting going on because of tension over money."

He reassures them by saying, "We're just trying to make a better life for all of us" and emphasizes the environmental upsides of recycling more and shopping less. Justin, in fifth grade, is glad his father is around more for baseball games but said, "Sometimes I feel Dad is harsh on me and not letting me buy stuff." He calls his own mood "not angry, but not very happy either."

Dominic, who asked that his last name be withheld to avoid making a bad impression on potential employers, lost his marketing job in early July, his third layoff in four years. He had to move his family quickly last fall when their rental home went into foreclosure, and his two sons' grades took a nose dive in all the turmoil. Dominic worries the boys will be distracted this fall because they need to move again to save on rent.

"I'm afraid all this has affected their view of me," he added. "Are they wondering, 'Is my dad a screw-up?'"

His 16-year-old, A.J., has declared that if they have to start over in another district, "you're going to see my grades go to F's because I won't care about school anymore." He says it's stressful to have his dad around the house all day, "because he's one of those people who yell when they're angry."

It's hard to confide in friends. "Money is not an issue teens talk about, so you feel like no one else is going through the situation like you," A.J. said. "It's kind of lonely."

Barbara Bole Williams, a Rowan University professor and a leader of the National Association of School Psychologists, suggested that schools may want to start support groups for students whose families are in financial crisis, modeled after groups for children who have experienced divorce or bereavement.

Adults may try to shelter their children from budget problems, but kids are perceptive and often pick up on parents' agitation.

"Having the financial stress of the economy is the straw that breaks the camel's back for some kids," Williams said.

Janet Burdsall, head of the New Jersey Association of School Psychologists, noted that one out of every five children will have a mental health issue in their lifetime, and economic distress could trigger an underlying anxiety problem. She said parents need to talk calmly and take into account children's ages when disclosing financial information. Young children need to feel safe, while adolescents can handle more detail. "Parents need to reassure the children," she said. "Children will take the lead from their parents.

"It's certainly more difficult to come to school and learn if you're worried about your parents not having jobs and being home all the time," she said.

For some families, tighter budgets can teach healthy lessons in the value of saving and the difference between "wants" and "needs." It's impossible to predict the severe recession's long-term impact on kids. The generation that grew up during the Great Depression was known for its frugality and caution. Some say kids today may become pessimistic and cynical, while others predict they'll be less materialistic and more community-minded.