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February 21, 2007

Tanzania Shocker: Bat-Demon's Rude Ass-raping Spree

DAR ES SALAAM (AP) -- In the exotic (and slightly retarded) nation of Tanzania, a bat-demon named Popo Bawa has been rudely transforming itself into a dude and butthumping unsuspecting men in the gorgeous metropolis of Dar es Salaam on a nightly basis.

Ok, so no one's actually SEEN this ill-mannered Zanzibarian bat-thing, but they totally swear it's for reals. So to avoid the indignity of being cornholed by a flying rodent (and subsequently made the target of their neighbors' suspicious looks and insinuating whispers), the he-men of Tanzania have taken to leaving the womenfolk behind in their mudhuts, smearing themselves in pig oil and cuddling together in cozy men-only campfire sleepovers. Cause if they don't, the bat-demon might make them...um...do gay stuff.