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Wellness Clubbing

Wellness Clubbing is really just like clubbing. You’re in a dark room with loud music, everyone’s wearing very little clothing, you get extremely sweaty and it’s a lot of fun. Apart from the lack of unbearably painful shoes, hangover and obnoxious door people, it’s practically the same thing.

This week, Melbourne’s hottest fitness + clubbing gurus, Bodhi & Ride and Bond Melbourne collaborated to bring us “Wellness Clubbing”, a concept giving meaning to the saying ‘work hard, play hard’. I had an absolute ball, and to be honest, I think Wellness Clubbing may in fact be even better than normal clubbing. Here are 5 reasons why:

There’s 0 people creeping on you. Well as long as you resist from rocking what I like to call the ‘forgot my top’ look. 9 times out of 10, be honest with yourself, you’re really not working that hard that you need to remove your top for overheating purposes.

The next day you’re in pain… But good pain. It’s your fat cells rather than your brain cells dying

After party snacks like acai and matcha smoothies, raw vegan cheesecake, pressed juices etc make for ZERO regret, unlike the drunchies (that’s the drunk munchies, yes a word you’ve been looking for your whole life am I right?!) which are only going to make you feel sick (I seem to always discover this the hard way). There’s zero situations where a kebab after drinking copious amounts of alcohol is a good idea. Except if you’re in Greece, then maybe it’s ok but it’s called a gyros there anyway, not a kebab.

You don’t have to worry about a sweaty man who made the poor choice of a long sleeve shirt, or a raspberry lemonade (seriously those drinks should be banned) coming into contact with the silk dress that you now realise you should never have exposed to such thing as a nightclub. At Wellness Clubbing, you’re free to sweat as much as you like, and spill the 20 items of raw vegan snacks you’re trying to hold at once all over you, because gym clothes are not dry-clean only (and also who cares if they get ruined).

You don’t have to wear the super high, super uncomfortable, un-walkable heels that you bought, in order to prove to your mum that they were totally worth the amount of money you paid to be in huge amounts of pain.