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Popping into wish everyone a merry xmas and all that. I am just going about my day like I would any other. Gonna take a nap soon though.

Snow---I had that problem before too. Have you tried going into your mouse settings and adjust your mouse sensitivity? That use to drive me nuts too. Maybe try to update your driver? Those were the two things that I did.

Betty-- I hope you made it out today. And have a safe trip.

Nothing at all to report here either. I am just glad that the day is almost over. I'll check back in later.

I'm back home from visiting my brother's house. It was a very nice day. We had wonderful spring weather and having the family together is always nice. We will have my step son and daughter and grand baby over tommorrow some time to open their presents. They where in Houston for the holidays and are traveling back as we speak. My son has spent the last 6 days at my house visiting us and friends he has in my town. He went back to his house this evening. I called him to see how his gift exchange went with his girl and her baby. They seemed happy and that is always good to hear.In all it was a great day and the very nice presents I recieved doesn't hurt either.

I hope you all had a day filled with love and happiness. It is always tough to remember people we have lost and try to keep in good spirits. I think they would want us to be happy so keep you chins up and I will try to do the same.

Every Christmas we have a specific traditional schedule that we follow. It helps keep things straight and our "Aspie" kids like the consistency. However, around 7:00 last night, surrounded by 23 relatives from my mom's side, something totally amazing happened. My dad took out a machine - something he'd gotten for Christmas from my mom, popped in a CD, grabbed a microphone, and started to sing "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown" - karioke style!

That was followed by my oldest son and 2 cousins singing all manner of craziness. The bug hit us all and we couldn't wait to get our turn at the mic. Hubby and I, neither of which can sing a wit, decided to sing a ballad to my 78yr old grandmother. We dedicated it to her with the knowledge that she secretly sings it on her back porch every evening. Oh, what did we sing? "I'm too sexy!" complete with run-way struts, tooshie shakes, and nutty girations.

The grand finale was a medley of songs. It started out with all the girls in the family, and yes, that included my 78yr old grandmother (who'd never heard of Cindy Lauper) singing "Girls just wanna have fun" and the males singing "We are family".

In the years to come, I'll never remember what I got for Christmas in 2008. No one will remember what my mom cooked, who brought the deviled eggs, or that some of the napkins didn't match the dinner plates. What we will remember is the 2hrs that was spent sitting in the livingroom entertaining each other with both the silly and the sublime. We'll never forget cheering as Grammy sang "I'll be home for Christmas", our youngest singing back-up with her Paw-paw (she echoed "bad, bad, bad"..it was all she could say). My 6ft 3in. brother singing "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" falcetto. Hubby and I doing our best "I'm too sexy". And, yes, my 78yr old grandmother shaking her rumpus to "Girl's Just Wanna have Fun".

It was by far, the very best Christmas ever. And, one that no one will soon forget (especially since we have the video)

Here's to a wonderful New Year filled with heart-warming memories, new traditions, and the assurance that each new day olds the promise that things can, and will, get better

Mum

*edited because Wendy reminded me that I used a name i shouldn't....again

Mum- It sounds like you a lot of fun! Good thing you caught it all on video.

Win- You had a nice day too

Well yesterday was a very busy day for me. I went to my grandmother's house for breakfast and I was kind of not looking forward to it because of things with the family but it actually turned out really good. I got some nice gifts. After all that business my sister and I went to see my dad to give and get gifts. We had a nice talk. I then I had to hightail to go change to go to my friends house for dinner. I stopped at home and I felt so bad because my dog had been at home all day and at this point it was 3:00pm. The dinner was nice. Good food and good company. The night was not over though...I had to go home change and get ready to go to a party that friends of our family have every year at their house. At first I wasn't going to go but there were a lot of people that I have not seen in a while. So, at 7:00pm I was changing again. The party was the usual crowd but it was nice. I stayed for a few hours and then at around 11:00 it hit me...I was TIRED! I came home and went to bed. The day turned out to be much better then what I thought it would. I hope all of you had a wonderful day. Is anyone going out to shop the sales? I certainly won't be LOL!

I made it to Phoenix. I can't believe it. The trip went off pretty uneventful. The flight from Detroit (which is where I flew to from my town) to Phoenix was pretty long, four hours. But it's good to be here. My sister and I are going to pick up my niece at the airport in a few.

I'm glad everyone seemed to have a good Christmas. It's so nice here compared to where I live. I e-mailed a friend of mine from there and he said the roads are shut down and they're only allowing emergency equipment on the roads. Of course, this means that my cat's not going to get to be taken care of until later, but that's alright. I just have a twinge of guilt is all. My sister has two cats, one's a mancoon. They're both beautiful, but the male is scared of me.

Netta, thanks for posting what you did. I will definitely keep your sister in my thoughts and prayers.

Queen, I'm glad you made it through Christmas. I know it's not your favorite day of the year.

Wendy, I'm glad you had a good day. Thanks for posting what you did about the people we've lost wanting us to be happy. I'm sure they do.

Mum, the kareoke sounds like a lot of fun. I'm glad you had such a nice time.

Andrea, I'm glad things went well with your family. That must be such a relief. And I'm glad you went out and had a good time.

Well, we're going to be off to pick up my niece at the airport. I'll probably be back on tomorrow sometime, maybe. I'm not sure what all we're going to do while I'm here.

All the ladies who didn't post yesterday, I hope you all had a nice day. And have a good one today.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I hope everyone had a blessed and safe christmas holiday. I truely did. Sorry I couldn't get on to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. We were so busy with visiting and the children I was worn out. I didn't get my house clean until 2 a.m. last night. On Christmas Eve we had a party and it was great. People didn't leave until 2 that morning. Today marks the offical day that I have made it 1 whole year knowing I had this virus. I am actually stonger than ever. When I first found out I didn't think I would make it to this year. My CD4 is 535 with an undectable virual load. I haven't gotten my results from my last visit which was on the 17th. 2008 has been a wonderful year. I got married, I met and feel in love with you ladies. You guys are my rock. If it weren't for you guys I think I would have gone crazy by now. I don't have a support group, therefore you guys are my support group. And I love you guys .

BT- I'm happy you arrived safely. I have never rode on a plane in my whole 28 years.

Snow- it took you like a week and a half to come up with the name of the cartoon lol , did you have a good holiday?

Viv- It sounds like you had a great time. You partied like a rockstar like me... I had loads of fun.

I am so glad it is finally over...Now we can move on to New Years... It's suppose to be in the 60's here today and tomorrow. That is just nuts to me. Nothing really going on just sleeping a lot and playing my game when I am woke.

Betty--Glad you made it safely. 4 hours is nothing, one time when I went to Puerto Rico, it took 8 hours. I thought I was going to die.

Glad everyone had a good time with their families. It just made me miss my son and my Dad. I got a letter from my son yesterday so I have to write him back. He's in some prison like 6 hours away from here but from what I am told, he will only be there a few months then they will ship him somewhere else.

Since I am up early, I think I may do some laundry...Have a good day ladies...

Good Morning! Well I know I said I wasn't going to go out shopping but I ended up at the mall. What got into me I don't know. I went with my mom to try to exchange a pair of shoes that I got in the wrong size. Of course they didn't have what I wanted. We went early and it actually wasn't too bad. My sister ended up meeting us there and we spent a good portion of the day looking. When we got ready to leave I went with my sister and her car battery was dead. Had to call triple A and they came out and took care of it. There's always something going on! Today I have to go to the market and maybe get some laundry done. Enjoy your Saturday ladies!

Keeping, I'm so glad you had a good time on Christmas. And now that you're through your first year being poz, things will be a lot better, you know, emotions wise. You made it through a year, wow. Isn't that great?

Wendy, luckily I had a aisle seat. I had to insist on it, because of my knees. They won't physically bend to sit in the other seats. I was supposed to have a better seat than I did, but they gave it to someone else. Oh well.

Queen, eight hours?! Yikes. The lady I sat next to in the plane talked about when she was a kid how her mother would fly to Europe and how she hated sitting for 12 hours in a plane. I couldn't even imagine it. I know about missing family members; it's the first Christmas without either parent and it's hard. I am so sorry about your son, but I'm glad he writes you. At least you know what's going on with him. I hope you take some time for you and do something that makes you happy. {{HUG}}

Andrea, you must be crazy going to the mall. But, whatever makes people happy. I'm glad you didn't run into a lot of crowds and craziness.

Today we're going to visit my sister's past foster children. She takes care of special needs children in her home for the state of AZ. A lot of them have been placed elsewhere, but they all still keep in touch. While I'm here, we're also going to see that movie "Slumdog Millionaire," we're going to a Native American museum, and to See's candy store. I love their candy. I'm not sure what else we'll be doing. My niece flew in from Baltimore, and tomorrow her grama and uncle are coming over for Christmas dinner (I know, better late than never).

This is really a much needed break from the craziness of school, some of the people back there (and their dramas), etc. School starts again on the 5th. The other universities start on the 12th, and I don't know why we have to go back so early. But, we'll get out early (the end of April I think).

Nothing else going on. You ladies all have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I know I've been gone for what seems like forever but I definitely had to drop in before the New Year. Happy belated Merry Christmas to everyone and warm welcomes to all the Newbies I have missed during my absence!!!

So quick update---We have moved to Atlanta. We got here on Halloween. The kids are loving being back on the east coast. I found a job right away that barely pays anything but at least I have a job. I was able to find a clinic right away more or less and have my 1st visit on New Years Eve day, LOL And I passed the semester so it looks like I will be a college grad in the Spring. (just my Associates but at least I did it) I'm going to try and attach some pictures of the kiddies, key word being try. Also, thanks Win and BT for the candy recipes that I am going to put into action asap

Okay, lets see if I can get the others on here too. The 1st post had the baby and his baby dreads, he's 10 months now. The twins and they're 10 now. Hopefully, I can get the 17 (going on 37 and thinking she's grown) and the 14 (who won't stop cutting her hair) . . .

So it's official that I have to many children because I can't them all into one post, LOL And now I can't find away to get the picture of my 14 year old small enough to add but I'm going to keep trying . . . Got it!!!!

I don't know what the hell is going on with my sleep schedule. I slept all day and most of the night last night. I woke up at 2 am this morning and has been up since. I still say it is because I stayed up that one day all day, my sleep has been off since. Or maybe I am depressed about something subconsciencly, I dunno. Though at the moment, there is nothing stressing me.

Blessed--Good to see you, didn't know you moved to Hotlanta. Seems like lots of folks are moving there. I wonder why? I bet your teen daughters give you a run for your money, just kind of looks like it from the photos. Not the twins but the other 2.

Snow--Hope you feel better soon. I know I have been having severe stomach cramps, not sure what that is about because I don't have a period anymore. I was almost in tears the other day but I just rode it out. Been a little crampy today too. Not sure where my son is going to be moved to but where he is now I have been hearing isn't exactly good. They are locked in their cell 23 hours a day, that is like being in solitary confinement.

It sounds like everyone had a good holiday. I loved reading what everyone did. Christmas Eve marked my one year infection date and of course I got sick. Not sure how or why but was puking and poopin the whole daggon night. The next morning I was fine. Never really felt sick, it was weird. I am a little bummed about my slight vl load (yes, I know I shouldn't be) but I think while I was undetectable I was in denial maybe and now am not so much. My kiddos are sick too. One with diarrhea and the other a cold. My mom and sister go back to Florida today and I am a mess. They have been a blessing while here. My kids drive me bonkers and it was wonderful to get some much needed help. Anyway, hope everyone has a great New Year!!

It sounds like everyone had a good holiday. I loved reading what everyone did. Christmas Eve marked my one year infection date and of course I got sick. Not sure how or why but was puking and poopin the whole daggon night. The next morning I was fine. Never really felt sick, it was weird. I am a little bummed about my slight vl load (yes, I know I shouldn't be) but I think while I was undetectable I was in denial maybe and now am not so much. My kiddos are sick too. One with diarrhea and the other a cold.

Jenny-- It sounds like to me, you had some sort of stomach virus especially since your kids are sick too. But I am not a doctor but I play one in my own little world and like to diagnose people from time to time. But I am glad you are feeling much better.

I am so sorry I have not been around for a while - and I thank you all for being there when I was first diagnosed in Jan 2008, it was invaluable and I can not thank you all enough

But I had a lot in my own head to sort out - but I am sorry that I have dipped in and out when you all give so much to this all the time

Have sorted a few things - Hope I am still welcome?

Hey Veritee--- Well, we all have our own demons or things to straighten out from time to time. Girl, as long as you don't have any cemeteries in your closet, we're cool.... And I am joking mind you...And why wouldn't you be welcomed back, silly rabbit. A lot of us, including myself have taken a break from the forums for a spell. It happens and sometimes it is needed. Though personally, it seems I can only stay away for a few days. Yeah, my name is Queen and I am hooked on the Women's Forum. It has even gotten to the point that I barely comment in the other threads unless I see something that catches my eye. Anyhoo, welcome back and I hope to hear more from you.

I've had a bit of a stressful day. My best friend came over highly upset because early this morning when she got up, her son had his friends over. Now this is before 10 am and have been over the house for the past five days. And besides that, they had the tv loud. And my godson is pissed at me because I told her he was trying to have a New Years Eve party but the killer is the only way I knew was because I was on MySpace and saw it. Keep in mind the kid just had a party like a week ago. Is 20 years old, still in school, which is a good thing since he trying to finish, but has no job. He literally comes home from school and jumps on the computer to chat on Myspace or play Warcraft. Yeah, I do the same but difference is I have an income.

Suffice it to say, it got even uglier between me and him from there. And I have done more for him than his own Aunts or Grandmother has done for him. And what do I get when I tell him how disrespectful he is to his mother and that he should be out looking for a job instead of sitting on his lazy ass.....I was called a bitch and told to suck his dick. Lovely, isn't it..... Believe me this argument took place thru emails on MySpace, that part is funny to me. And for his sake it was a good thing it was because I would've probably been in jail tonight.

Do I think he'll have the party, maybe, maybe not but I don't see my bf giving him the ultimatum of getting his shit together or get out. All I know is that I will no longer be calling her house or visiting. And I am definitely thru with him. I mean he disrespected in a way my son never would because he knows better. But it also taught me a lesson, I will start putting myself first before other people. Especially when it is not appreciated.

Hey Veritee! Nice to hear from you again. I hope things are going well for you.

Jenny- YUCK! I hate it when I get sick. At least you didn't feel too bad.

Queen- I'm sorry you had a falling out with your godson. You know how it is when you are 20...you know everything. It sounds like he is just immature. Don't let it get you down...

Well this morning I was woken up 5am to the lovely sound of my dog throwing up. Great. I don't know what made her stomach upset but she obviously wasn't feeling well. After I cleaned it up we got back into bed. Poor thing just wanted to sleep all morning.

I went to lunch with a teacher friend of mine which was nice. She is a kindergarten teacher and before this year kinder was only part day so we, the 5th grade teachers, always saw her at lunch, but this year kinder went full day and now her lunch is at a different time and we hardly get to see each other. We had a lot to catch up on. Tomorrow I'm going shopping with another friend of mine and then Wednesday I have an appointment at the dentist. Oh joy! This is the first time I've gone since being diagnosed and I'm a little nervous about having to fill out the paperwork. I always worry about what they'll think.

I don't have anything planned for New Year's. Maybe something will come up. Have a good night ladies!

Thank you so much for welcoming me back, I am so glad you are all still here.

As an update it has been a difficult time with a lot to adjust to. I was only diagnosed in Jan 08 and only on meds since about April/Mayish - can't even remember when right now. I threw myself into HIV activism and voluntary support work as I was appalled at how little there is for women with HIV especially in the area I live

- so I started the first and only HIV women's support group in my area of the UK and became a regional coordinator for my area for a UK Group called PozFem: http://www.poz-fem-uk.org/ and have worked as hard as I can for them voluntarily and gone to conferences etc which involved travelling and I am still involved in running a charity I founded on another issue - Post natal Illness - and travelled by plane to our annual meeting just before Xmas. The plane trip was only an hour with a couple of hours by car to the airport and an hour the other side, but on that trip I began to feel very ill and tired and realised I had been doing too much and I am not ready as yet to travell as much. As travelling is something I do not find easy and causes me great stress and I need to take it easy.

I have been ill ever since - only a flu bug but somehow I just can not recover from it after nearly 3 weeks I still feel really ill and have days I can not get out of bed - which is really not me as I NEVER stay in bed or sleep in the day

I also worry that despite being on Atripla and tolerating it fairly well and being now undetectable my CD4s have gone down not up and are now 200 - my husband thankfully despite having a CD4 of only 9 is now feeling very well with a CD4 of 270, which is a good thing.I guess its early days with the medication as yet and it will take some time to get a CD4 of over 300 which is my hope?

But due to feeling ill Christmas was not good and my mother had a stroke on boxing day so is in hospital

Sorry to be negative - I am not actually negative in myself however as I am enjoying having my husband with me and not at sea for the first time in over 20 years of marriage, although it is a pity he is home due to having HIV but it is still lovely to at last have time with him and I have started doing art again for the first time in years - so mentallly I feel good but I just do not feel well.

I also had had a bit of good news as my daughter just got a fantastic job as a chef - she is only 19 but is a qualified chef has worked doing this since she was 16 and is very ambitious - Her new job that she starts on Monday in a top London restaurant run by a top Michelin star UK chef, Gordon Ramsey at Claridges. This is what she wanted and she has worked very hard for it, so I am so pleased for her.

To get a job like this at only 19 and in London which is over 250 miles from where we live is really a great achievement

Now I have caught up I will try to reply to others next time as it is 3am in the morning here I find sleep difficult some nights when I have been ill in bed in the day, but hope you are all OKVeritee X

PS JennyI hate it when I get sick too, I am phobic about vomiting so it is my worst nightmareBut there is a lot going round this winter where I am and maybe where you are too?I have been ill for weeks and my daughter threw up all Christmas night - poor thing and poor you.I hope you and your children are all OK now

Veritee- That is great news about your daughter. I know who Gordon Ramsey is...I've seen him on TV . I'm sorry that you are sick. Your CD4 may take a while to go up. When I was diagnosed I had pneumonia and a count of 15. I have been on Atripla for 19 months and my count has finally gone up to around 600. It takes time...hang in there! You sure are quite the activist! Don't overextend yourself and listen to your body.

Getting ready to take my dog to daycare and go hang out with my friend. Have a great day everyone!

Andrea, it is nice to not be in the snow. Yesterday here it was in the 70's; so much different from where I live, where it's only in the 30's right now. Ugh. I hope you have fun with your teacher friend.

Snow, that's great news about the court date. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Queen, I'm sorry all that stuff happened with your godson. Best probably to not talk to him right now, especially when there's stuff going on between him and his mom. I can't believe he said that to you though, how disrespectful. I hope you get to feeling better and that your sleep schedule gets back on track.

Jenny, I hope you're feeling better.

Veritee, it's so good to hear from you, I was wondering what happened to you. I hope you feel better also (lots of people not feeling well right now). Congrats to your daughter for getting that chef job. That's great news.

I think I got everyone; if I missed anyone, I apologize. I'm having a really good time here. Yesterday myself, my sister and niece went and visited my sister's stepson in his group home. Then we went to this fabulous Italian/Greek restaurant, then went to see Slumdog Millionaire, which I can't recommend enough. It is really a good movie. I saw the actor who played the guy that won the money interviewed on the Today show about a month ago. He really is from the slums in one of the cities in India.

Today I think we're going to a Native American museum and to See's Candy store. I'm going to eat breakfast in a few minutes. It's so nice to be out of the cold/snow for now. I'm leaving Friday, of course depending on the weather back home I suppose. I miss my cat, but one of my friends is taking care of her. My sister has two cats, but one of them is very leery of people.

I'm like Queen, I'm addicted to these women's threads. And I don't comment a lot in other parts of the forum, unless I'm interested in what's being talked about. This is really like my women's support group and all you ladies mean a lot to me. Have a good one.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

BT-Sounds like an awesome time. I am so envious. You are right, the weather here is crappy (remember, I am not too that far away from ya). For a minute yesterday I thought I might be able to let the girls ride their new bikes. The sun was out all day and a mild 50 something degrees but by the time I got home and the sun was down it was too cold. I should have never bribed them yesterday morning that if they got out of bed promptly and without temper tantrums I would let them ride them. Oh the joys of toddlerhood. Anyway, I am sure your cat misses you too. Tht is good that you have someone to look after her. I hope the weather cooperates for your trip home. Enjoy the rest of your time!!

Its obviously not as cold here as it is for most of you as while in the part of the UK I live it is very cold at present - the coldest winter we have had for years, but it is not snowing as I live in Cornwall where the climate is warmer than most of the UK, not by much but enough to mean it never snows here. I wish we did have snow as we never do and when I lived elsewhere in the UK we did and I loved the snow

Thank you all for the congratulations about my daughters new job and that some know who Gordon Ramsey is - he also has a famous restaurant in NYC too - So it is great she has the job .........................but I have had a real panic the last day or so arranging accommodation she can move into in London by Saturday as I have not been well and London is over 250 miles from where we live - but I have found a nice woman I met when she was on holiday here ( I live in a holiday/beach/surfing area and let out a small flat) who lives in London who is my age who can give her a room.

Thank you so much for your assurances Queen, BT, vivyt and welcome back I have spent much time being addicted to forums myself but as I founded a charity that runs a forum: http://veritee.proboards7.com/ I have to spend a lot of time there still as I am relied upon as I am the main administrator on that forum , So while I need this forum more personally than the one I founded as I have HIV and Post Natal Illness was a long time ago for me, I know I can not come on here as much as I would like due to that commitment - so I am glad it is OK for me to come here when I can?

I have replied to you in a PM Jenny as we share some things and this Christmas was a nightmare - my daughter vomited all night Christmas night and while she is a lot older - 19 - it still upsets me so much when she is ill like that and I have been sick too as yes there are loads of bugs around here at the moment and I have had flu and been sick and in fact have not felt or been well for about 4 weeks now

I am glad you are having such a good time BT and that you have your court date Snow

I am on a different time from most of you as it is now 11pm here and I have been up since 3am due to not being well so I am off to bed with a hot water bottle soon

Betty- Good to hear from you. I figured you must me having a good time since you haven't been posting that often... The weather you're having is what we have here in California. Don't you just love it?? I could NEVER live where it gets so cold. I am a California girl born and bred! LOL!

I had a good day today. Hung out with my friend, had some lunch, and did some shopping. Now I am tired!

Mini is sick again. I spent 3hrs with her at the doctor's office - another double ear infection. She was complaining about being dizzy and feeling like she was going to fall down. She also said her head hurt between her eyes and at the base of her skull. I thought it was a sinus infection - WRONG! In 3 wks, she's had: pneumonia, 3 ear infections, sinus infection, and strep. I hate this virus!

Oh mum, I am so sorry. I guess kids do often have it worse when bugs go around as for kids they more often lead to bacterial infections while for healthy adults this happens less often- well Caja's bugs often did - but with HIV it obviously is much worse ....and far more worrying, it must be so worrying for you.

so my thoughts are with you and all I can do is wish you all loads of better luck for 2009 and I do hope she is well again soon

Jenny, I remember that you live not far from me, but I can't remember where you said. Are you in Indiana?

Veritee, of course it's alright that you're only here when you can be. It's always good to hear from you.

Andrea, my sister actually has mentioned a few times that she would like me to live out here. It would be nice, but not for awhile (until I'm finished with school, have worked awhile etc.). I do really like this weather, but I also know what it's like here in the summer, when it reaches 110+. I suppose people get used to running from the air conditioned house to the air conditioned car though.

Mum, I am so sorry about Mini's new infection. Please give her a hug and kiss from me. I hope this is the end of things.

Today I think we're just visiting different people. My sister's foster son, who I haven't seen in about 27 years, and a couple of my sister's friends. Tonight I believe we're just going to go through pictures (ones that were at my parents') and celebrate here, probably watching the ball drop. I'm not one to be out around drunk people (duh). Back home NA is having a function that I would go to if there. That's alright, there's always next year.

Anyone got any plans for tonight?

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I hope everyone has a happy new year. Following southern tradition I am making black eyed peas, corn bread, cabbage and ham.

Black eyed peas are suposedly for good luck because they swell when cooked -- a sure sign of prosperity. Cabbage is green for wealth like money is green. corn bread is golden also for wealth plus the peas taste better with corn bread. The hog is considered lucky because it symbolizes prosperity.

I know different places have traditional meals for new years. I read in Italy it is sausage and lentils, in Greece its a cake with a coin in it, in Mexico they eat 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight, each grape signifying one month of the upcoming year. If the grape for the respective month is sweet, they'll expect a good monthÖ if it's sour, a bad one.

Mum- Did the doctor say what is causing all of these infections in Mini? I know the virus keeps us more susceptible, but she sure is being hit hard. I hope she feels better soon.

Betty- When do you return home?

Wendy- Are you having a dinner party or is that just for you and your man?

I just came back about an hour ago from the dentist. Not the way I wanted to spend the day. I went for just a regular check-up (new dentist) and ended up having problems. The only issue I have with my teeth is a crown that was put on about 10 yrs. ago because of an old filling I had that had cracked. Well...that was the last time I went to the dentist, yeah I know I am BAD! I just never really had any problems with my teeth so I thought I was ok. So....the x-rays looked find but when the doctor did the exam she saw that my crown had an area that was allowing bacteria to get under it and she causing a cavity underneath and the 2 teeth on either side showed the beginning of cavities. What she decided to do was try a treatment that is fairly new that could stop the cavities from forming and just do a cleaning. She wanted to replace the crown but just didn't have the opening. Well, asked if I could wait for a cleaning and since I had not eaten yet she told me to go eat and come, so I did. When I got back she let me know that a patient canceled and she would be able to do my crown so I said yes. Fast forward to the procedure...a closer look told her that the two cavities were actually much worse then she thought and she would have to fill those along with replacing the crown... 3 hours later and MANY injections of Novocaine I was done. When I looked at myself one side of my mouth was totally curved down like a stroke victim and the doctor said I was VERY swollen. UGHHH! 3 teeth right in a row were traumatized! I said I am worried about the pain I am going to have once the Novocaine wore off since it was hurting during the procedure. She said to definitely take Motrin before the Novocaine wore off and stay away from hard, sticky, or chewy foods...no kidding. So here I am annoyed with myself because if I had been seeing the dentist on a regular basis none of this would have been a problem. It seems like anything medical with myself I just let go. In 2009 I am going to work on that. Needless to say, I don't have plans for this evening.

Thanks for all the well wishes for the Wee One. She says she feeling a bit better today. She's a bit more active and her appetite wasn't hurting a bit - she ate 4 boneless chops, yellow rice, and carrots for lunch This round seems easier for her to handle than the last one. At least now it's "just" a double ear infection and not compounded with all the other stuff.

Andrea, Doc is clueless and at this point, her only purpose seems to be pissing me off. I'm still waiting for her to return my phone calls from September. She's the only PID in the state and insurance won't pay for us to take her out of state. I can only keep doing what I've been doing and pray that one day she'll actually listen (and DO somethign)

Betty, I'm glad you're having a great time with your sister. Enjoy your vacation - it's well deserved.

Veritee, this is the 1st time Mini's been really sick like this since being u/d (6 1/2yrs). Lots of memories of our 5 month stint in the hospital when no one expected us to bring her home keep sneaking in. I thought they were extinct, but in those quiet moments, they are still constant reminders.

Wendy, when we lived in South Louisiana, mom always cooked beans, porkchops, cabbage, and cornbread on new year's day. Tomorrow I'm making turkey...lol...it just seems appropriate for us.

My mom and brother came over for dinner. Dad left Monday for work - hoping he'll be back in 2wks. Then, we played Disney Trivial Pursuit. Hubby and #2 were a team and won. It was a ton of fun. After, we watched "Shanghi Knights" (fast forwarding past a few parts and muting others). Now with about 50 minutes to go, the kids are in bed and I'm heading there myself.

My wish is for 2009 to pour out showers of grace, hope, joy, and peace to each and every one of you.

Happy New Year and thus the countdown begins...11 days til I turn 40... What's new so far is a few gray hairs coming in... But despite the soap opera like drama that has been swirling around me, I am grateful to still be here. My sister put quarters in all her windows, she said that is suppose to draw money to you for the new year. I'll just do my Pagan thing and do a money spell. Ewww, I hate black eye peas or any type of beans for that matter. And has never in my life cooked cornbread.

I didn't do anything for New Year as in going out, I just spent a quiet night at home playing Warcraft. But I would be Queen of the Green if I didn't spark one to bring in the New Year....

Mum-- Glad the Wee One is feeling much better. I know I have been having a little vertigo lately too. But I am wondering if it is because I have lost more of my hearing in my right ear. If I make a sudden move to my right, I get the spins real bad for a minute.

- it is always so very worrying with small ones . I can not begin to imagine what it is like to have a child with HIV but my own daughter was born in 1989 with a heart problem and had many bugs etc due to it so it was very touch and go for some years - so I might have some small idea what you are going through

But so much hope it is resolving itself now

__________________________Probably had HIV since 2003 but did not know exactly - but it was around 2003 my husband put himself at risk Husband diagnosed with AIDs/PCP Jan 08- his CD4s was 9Diagnosed myself Jan 08 CD4 less than 200 but very small virus load of only 250 - but I was atil quite unwell just the same Started meds April 08 - on Atripla now May 08 CD4-230August 08 CD4-260 Nov 08 CD4 200 - undetectable Worried why aren't my CD4s going up??? considering I have always had a very low virus load and am now undetectable I do not understand why I still feel so totally crap and my CD4s have not gone up?

Wendy, those are interesting stories about how other cultures eat on New Year's Eve.

Andrea, I'm supposed to be flying home tomorrow, weather permitting. I used to have tons of trouble with my teeth. I always had rotten teeth. When I was 24, I got them pulled out (what wasn't knocked out) and got dentures. The dentist office actually could never make the bottom ones right, so all I have are top ones (yep, no bottom teeth). I still eat fine; I just can't eat anything crunchy (like nuts) or real chewy (like caramels). I eat steak, etc. Teeth are such a necessary evil.

Mum, I'm so glad Mini is feeling a bit better. It does seem that she's gotten quite a bit lately. Maybe it's because her immune system's down and she's around someone else who's sick? Anyway, I hope you all are enjoying your New Year's Day.

Queen, welcome to 40. I'm actually going to be 44 this year. So far the 40's have been good, because they've taught me to focus more on what's important in life and to let go of unnecessary shit.

Veritee, I can't give you an answer as to why your CD4's haven't gone up, except sometimes when they're as low as yours, it can take years for them to reach above the 300-500 range. In 1994, my CD4s were "4" and it took, I don't remember how many years (maybe 9) before they got above 400. Now they're doing well, though I couldn't tell you the exact number without being home and pulling out my labs. If you're really concerned, you should probably talk to your doctor.

Last night was quiet. My sister gave me a mini massage and we looked at old pictures. At midnight, we celebrated with a glass of sparkling cider. It was strange, because when it was midnight here, it had already been midnight two hours previously where I live.

Tomorrow I'm flying back home, providing the weather cooperates. I can't believe I'm actually leaving 70-degree weather to go back into the 20-degree hell. I suppose that's the price I pay for living where I am. Every place has pluses and minuses. I like where I live, just not four months of the year when it gets freezing. Would I like it here? Hell yeah. But I've also been here when it's reached above 110F, and that's extremely uncomfortable. There's a lot to see and do here, though. Maybe someday, awhile after I graduate and have worked part-time for awhile. The other thing that gets me about here is that you have to go on a freeway to get about anywhere. I suppose people get used to that though.

Well, my niece is flying home today, I need to start packing, and get my shit together. It's almost 1:00 p.m. my time and I still haven't taken a shower. Have a good one ladies.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Just moved from one forum to this one.HiI should reintroduce myself i'm a young black female from South Africa. Question. Did any of you feel like chucking everything in your lives and starting over again? I keep wondering what i' supposed to do with my life now. i wake up every morning with this thing that i'm running out of time but forthe life of me feel panicky about what to do next. Didnt really like my life, not that it has changed in the last month.

I never actually discussed the issue of how i got infected, not angry at anyone but feel stupid that i let it happen. i cannot undo or go back, not thta i would want to - havent had a great history in the love life department --- it's sad, really, never had that "great love". Would love to be swept off my feet, crazy in love

I tried to do the usual New year's resolution thing but i keep having to have daily resolutions,broken down into hours and sometimes minutes, cant handle much more than that.

Hi Jade! Welcome. I am sure everyone has felt like starting over. Did you just find out you were infected? I was diagnosed in May of 2007. It does get better. The ladies here are just wonderful and I am sure you will enjoy talking to them

Betty- Even though the weather is bad, it's always nice to come back home. I'm sure your cat misses you...

Welcome Jade. Presently I am very happy with my life but there have been times in my past where I wish I could change it all.

No dinner party here. Just me and Billy. We stayed up and watched the ball drop in Times square then went to bed. I don't ever go out on New Years. I lack the desire to go to bars or act like a fool in public. I'll save that for family and friends. LOL

Plus I dont like the idea of being on the roads. Too many idiots out there...

Happy New Year to you all! I hope it brings a lot of good developments our way. Today I'm feeling reflective, as my baby turned 7 today. It seemed like just yesterday that she joined the family at 5 years old. How fast they grow! Now she's grown so much, gained weight, and has been maintained an undetectable viral load for over a year! We are on our way to take her for a birthday/New Year's dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant and movie of her choosing-Bedtime Stories. Hopefully we like it better than the last movie we watched (Marley and Me).

This New Year brings such a mixture of emotions and thoughts for me, some good some not as I guess it will for us all.

It was a at Christmas last year my husband got really ill and New Years Day when I finally realised that something was very wrong with the both of us so now I know what it is and have lived with it for almost a year - diagnosed Jan 08 I am hoping that this year brings more acceptance of living with HIV and more understanding of how to do so. I am glad we have successfully got our first year of life with HIV over, that we are both still alive and in relative health.

It is not necessarily going to be a happy year but I will do my best to make it constructive. It will be sad because I will lose my mum this year, I wanted to share about my mum.

I love my mum dearly, she has been a wonderful mum to have, but she is the only person I am close to who does not know about my HIV as she has been too ill and for too long to tell her or to understand, is currently dying in hospital.

We were asked yesterday if we wanted any more medical intervention, we don't, so they think that without she will live another week to four weeks. But they are not giving the decision entirely to the family and if they decide to offer further medical intervention she could linger for a few months. We so hope they donít, but as the intervention is whether to feed her by tube and if they donít she will effectively starve to death, as she is completely unable to do anything for herself or swallow anything, nor talk or make her wishes known in any way. The only reason she is alive now is they are giving her fluids by drip, but her heart is quite strong so if they do feed her too she will not die quickly.

We want her to die quickly, she would not want this, but the decision is not entirely ours, but her doctors - so all we can do is wait now.

She will die never knowing about my HIV, and as we are a family that always have shared everything with each other good and bad and never have secrets from each other, I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing.On the one hand what is the point of her knowing if she had of been able to understand at all a since I was diagnosed, which she has not .................

On the other she would have very much wanted to know this about her eldest daughter. Of course there is no possibility now anyway of sharing this with her and due to her illness there never has been, but it is sad somehow for me that I could not share such a big thing in my life with my mum when I have shared every other thing, all my life, big or small, good or bad, with her and she with me - I hope that makes sense?

Anyway I am just hoping for her a quiet and easy death, she deserves at least that. Her life was never easy and at times some of that was down to me.Sorry to start the year on such a sad note

But it is not actually sad that her end is this near as she would not have wanted to live how she has for the past couple of years and it will be a relief for us all - and I know her - when she dies

Life goes on, she will help my daughter by her last act of dying as she has left her in her will a small but useful bit of money which as she is starting a wonderful new job/career and life in the big city - London - on Saturday it will come at the right time as she will really be able to use it well to set herself up in some decent accommodation - good accommodation is difficult in London and you need huge deposits for the most humble of places to live and a lot more if it is decentSo my mum would be so happy to know that when she dies the money she leaves my daughter, her grandchild, while it is not much, will be so helpful to her

So on that more happy note of my daughters life is going on and she is doing well and thus a good thing for our family as the next generation are all coming up to my daughters age now and their time has come, ours has been.

So I hope everyone had a good New Years Evening and just wanted to wish everyone a great new year to come. Veritee x

Betty, here's to safe travels. I know what you mean about the weather changes. Hubby and I grew up in south Lousiana - home of shorts and t-shirts year 'round. As I got older, I couldn't stand the heat, or the crime, or the pollution, or the mob. Up here, especially in the teeny town we live in, there's not much to do, but not much of the other "stuff" either. The cold weather doesn't bother me so much as long as we're not snowed in for weeks at a time and the heat of the summer is NOTHING compared to the south. You're right, though, every place has its pros and cons.

I'm not sure what's up with Mim. She's not been around anyone who's been noticably sick. Of course, the doc's office mixes well and sick people, so who knows what kind of cooties she was exposed to waiting to see the doctor. She's not scheduled to see her PID until March, but I have her lab slips and will take her after this round of antibiotics to have them done. Her t-cells have been on a steady decline, but still in the 900's, since the summer, and I want to make sure they're not continuing to drop.

Queen, happy early 40! I'll be 36 in a month and the age thing has never bothered me (mainly because I married an "older"man..lol..I'm guaruntted to always be younger than somebody)

Sherri, thanks for your kind words. I remember when we got the phone call that Mini was undetectable 2 days before her adoption was final. She's been u/d now for 6 1/2 years (just turned 8 in Aug.). Those first 21mths were long and hard and not something I want to ever go back to. The good thing is that she was young and doesn't remember any of it. The bad thing is, I'll never forget any of it.

Wendy, I'm with you, hun. We spent the evening at home. I'm not one for bars or fancy parties. I don't like to be anywhere late at night where I can't wear my flannel jammies and fuzzy slippers. Yesterday (1/1), we went grocery shopping and Walmart was empty - in the middle of the afternoon!

Mim seems to be doing better and isn't complaining about being dizzy anymore. I'm glad we caught these ear infections earlier than the last ones. I've made an appointment to see her ENT and discuss wether or not he wants to put tubes back in her ears. I've forgotten what the "rule" is as to how many infections she "needs" to have before tubes are considered. So far, she's had 3 in 3wks.

On another note, our youngest daughter goes back to the eye and ear specialists later this month. The fear is that she's beginning to lose vision in her left eye and more vision in her right. We're worried that she's beginning to lose her hearing in her left ear as well (already lost hearing in her right ear and most of her vision in her right eye). Our lives are a never a never ending saga.

Kids around here start back to school today. Not sure how many will actually show up, though. I figure it will depend how many parents have to go back to work. We're not going to start until Monday. I just don't see the point in having a day of school, then 2 days off. Before Christmas, kids had to go until the 23rd (Tues), and teachers actually had to show up for work on the 24th. Our last day was the 19th (Friday). I've got tons to do to get ready for Monday. I usually spend part of our break re-vamping curriculum. This year, I've done nothing. I have stuff for them to do, just need to figure out the legistics of it all.

vivyt Hope your mouth feels better now - I have neglected my teeth at times, it is the one thing that here in the UK that you always have to pay for treatment - you do not have to pay for basic medical care as what you pay out on National Insurance pays for this but you do pay for basic dentistry, as National Insurance used to include dentistry but now is does not fully as it got too expensive for the state to pay and so many put it off as we can not afford it - so I understand what it is like to have a lot of work all at once and hate the dentist - so hope its OK now?

I hope mum that your younger daughters sight is OK - my mum is blind has been blind since we were kids, my sister and brother have sight problems - brother has lost a lot of his vision and can not drive etc , so I know how scary anything to do with sight is although mine is OK I have lived with a family with sight worries

Do you know what is causing her sight and hearing difficulties?

Glad you made it home alright Betty - aren't cats great in the way they welcome you.

Are you OK keepingfaith? I have not been sleeping either but I know with me its because of my mums situation - but is their any particular reason you can not sleep?

As usual I am on here again when I guess most others are sleeping! its about 8am here, so when you wake up I hope you all have a good Saturday

WELCOME HOME, BETTY!! I know Poppy is happy to see you again. I'm glad you had a great trip.

Veritee, I have my suspecions about what's causing all her issues, but of course, I'm just mum and don't know what I'm talking about (according to the "all-knowing" doctors ) I believe she has a condition called prophyria but can't get a doctor to test her for it. We're interviewing another doctor the middle of next week that works a lot with special needs kids. He came recommended, so we'll see what happens.

Jade, I'm so glad you joined us here. Within the past three years I made major changes in my life (and I'm 43, so never too old). I was pretty hooked on prescription medication (opiates, tranquilizers, amphetamines, sedatives), did a total detox, and went back to school to finish a degree. I think people should think carefully about making major changes, get different opinions and weigh everything out. But, it's never too late.

Andrea, my cat was very happy to see me. How's your mouth feeling?

Wendy, I'm not into bars either. People who are sloppy drunk annoy me.

Sheri, good to hear from you. Give your little one who just had a birthday a hug from me.

Veritee, I'm so sorry about your mum. I lost mine in August of 2007 and it was one of the hardest experiences I've gone through. I still cry at times. My mum and I were very close. I wish peace for your mum in her final days.

Mum, I'm glad Mini seems to be doing better. Please keep us updated on the tubes issue. I'm so sorry about the youngest daughter. I hope she retains the vision she has. Please let us know about her as well and I'll be keeping her in my thoughts.

Keeping, what's up?

Yes, my cat was very happy to have me back. She purred all night.

The trip back went well. I had a three hour layover in Detroit, but it went fairly fast. I had supper at a burger joint there which was very good. I wish I could remember the name; it started with a "K." The airport in Detroit is big, and they have a pretty tunnel that you walk through. It changes colors on the inside and plays like ocean sounds. I do miss Arizona and all the beautiful scenery (everywhere you go, you can see mountains in the distance), the temps, and of course my sister. I know she's lonely. For the past about 30 years, it's been her and special needs kids. She has one now, who has spina bifida (and is also Navajo). She might take on another child, not sure yet. I really wish she could go back to school and do something she wants to do. She has no insurance, even though she works for the state of AZ, no retirement etc. Anyway, she has a lovely house. And in her backyard there are hummingbird feeders all over. I had never seen hummingbirds so closely before; they're really works of art. So tiny.

Today I'm not sure what all I'll be doing. I know I'm going to try to organize the stuff I brought back from Arizona. I'll probably call my best friend and see what she's doing, maybe do lunch. Not much else planned. I hope you ladies all have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I looked up prophyria - I had not heard of it before but in my view for what it is worth from my very limited knowledge and perspective and from a different country ...........

keep on at them - mums always know their children best so if you feel she may have this all I can say is keep trying for an actuate and definitive diagnosis. Mums do know best - always !!!!!

I am sorry you have not even a proper diagnosis

I go on about the lacks in UK health system but as far as diagnosis, it is very good - if they do not know they will keep at it until they know what it is you have.

As apart from HIV - which you will not get a diagnosis of unless you ask for a test and you do not always know to ask - this is because they have rules here about not assuming HIV unless the person themselves suspects it or feels they have a reason to suspect it - for discrimination and stigma reasons .

But in everything else what you do get usually in the UK is a good and accurate diagnosis for everything.

- However due to the constraints of the system you may not get the drugs you need to deal with your diagnosis as depending on what you have this is down to National Health Service guidelines about what drugs they can afford to pay out on through the National Insurance scheme and this is decided by NICE - National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence: http://www.nice.org.uk/

Which is an independent body which decides on what treatment the NHS can, or can not pay for.

There are good an bad things about our system compared to the US - but at least here I guess??

We always usually get a proper diagnosis and our medical care is nationally the same for everyone and unless we are very rich and can pay a lot of money for private care, we all get the same access to what medication and treatment is allowed - we all get an accurate diagnosis - and they make sure they get that accurate diagnosis as far as possible

And if we need to take ourselves and our children to the doctor for anything we do not have to worry about money - because while most do pay into the NHS, this does not matter as even if you have never paid a penny in in your life, you still get the same medical care as everyone else, especially for your children.

Sorry Mum whittled on again about the situation here which does not help you at all - sorry

All I can say is keep going to get an accurate diagnosis as while my own eyes are OK except for older age long sight which is normal

- so I only know about this through having a blind mum and siblings with sight problems -

but most of my whole family apart from me has a congenial misshape of the eye which results in acute short sightedness to the point of blindness for some which gets worse with age -and also very early macular degeneration is in our family which my mum has too

but at least my siblings know exactly what is wrong and can make decisions about treatment and the future.

And I understand how scarey sight problems can be for you or your children. I lived with a blind mother most of my life and all in our family have feared blindness at one time or other

Hope the work went OK Vivut and you are now caught up! Are you a teacher?

I used to be before I was a youth worker and then for a while I lectured adults - I always found I had more work to do at home than while I was there really, and it did not suit me as I had too much to do at home so preferred my work only within work time. But I do not think I was a good or dedicated teacher and I guess you are