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Here's the Scoop by Brian Sweeney

Weekend...time for work!
Like many Americans with a general Monday-Friday work schedule, I crave the weekends. Those two days are an opportunity to kick back — and haul around heavy stuff. Or chop up things. And, maybe set aside a bit of time for digging around a rock-hard hillside — all in anticipation of planting stuff. In other words: “fun.”

What are the odds?
Like millions of other folks across the country, I was glued to the TV set last Friday for the Mega Millions lottery drawing.

Moments after the winning numbers were selected, I excitedly raced around to compare the numbers I had just written down to the ones on the lottery tickets I had purchased. It didn’t take much searching around in my wallet to figure out a chilling reality — I had NO chance of winning. There were zero lottery tickets for me to check. None.

Transmission failure
Over the years, fax machines have occasionally been a topic in this column. I recall the early days of this technology when the equipment was quite expensive and it was more cost-effective to make a five-mile round-trip to send and receive faxes from a local business that offered such services. Today, I find it annoying to walk two steps across my office to grab a fax off my machine.

“Don’t these people know about e-mail?” I shout to no one in particular when a fax appears.

Who uses these words?
Even during a season like this year, without much snow or many frigid days, winter tends to drag on like a parental lecture.

For this reason, it’s good to have a hobby to help pass the long, chilly days and nights. Hobbies are something that I don’t have many of — unless you count napping on the couch. That’s one that I spend a fair amount of time at during winter and, I modestly state, I have extraordinary skills in this area.

Out of tune with the music scene
The world lost some major musical talents with the recent deaths of Whitney Houston and Davy Jones.

As far as I know, Whitney was never in a rock band or anything. I recall that she had fantastic vocal range and wasn’t shy about showing off her talents.

Davy Jones, on the other hand, was the standout star of the hit-making group The Monkees. Many of
the stories I read labeled Davy as a “heartthrob.” The New York Times called Davy “The handsomest Monkee.” I do remember him making the girls go ape, I guess. Sorry.

Things will never be the same
It’s the end of an era here at the Catskill Mountain News. This week’s paper marks the last one on the job for jack-of-all-trades Esther Snyder of Roxbury.

At a few years north of the traditional retirement age, Esther will be stepping down from her twice-a-week chores as typesetter/proofreader/obituary editor. I doubt, however, that she’ll be slowing down much.

Where are the photos?
There’s no way that I was the only person disappointed by this news — or lack of news. For three straight days, I opened my computer’s Home Page and there were no — zero — stories on Celebrity Baby Bumps.

Talk about disappointing. Are you trying to tell me that every celebrity has finished with the baby-making process? Do the masked folks who run the Internet expect me to believe that there are no celebrities waiting to give birth?

Seems like old times
When it comes to change, I usually switch my routines very reluctantly. To say I’m a creature of habit is quite accurate.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate new gadgets, clothes, etc., but I often need convincing about the benefits of embracing something different. I guess that’s why an event I attended over the weekend was so refreshing. You see, with few exceptions, the affair I went to was populated by “Catskill Mountain old-timers.” Myself included, of course.

I can see it now...almost
Perhaps it’s caused by a steady accumulation of birthdays, but I have issues with manufacturers’ fascination with making everything as tiny as possible.

I guess the ability of make small, yet very powerful, computer chips has led to this state of Smaller is Better. Sure, a lot of products on the market are “Jetsons come to life,” and I admire the innovation taking place. But, most of it hurts my eyes.
Apparently, not everyone in my age bracket feels the same way.