George Bush: The Last Barrier Against Fascism!

We haven’t commented on the new movie, Death of a President, which pretends to be a retrospective look at the assassination of President George Bush and its consequences over the ensuing years. Tonight, though, I caught up with this account of the film in the Daily Mail, and several thoughts fell into place.

Liberals have been announcing the imminent Nazification of America for some years now, and yet…to the presumed embarrassment of nutballs like Keith Olbermann and Howard Dean…the dark night of fascism stubbornly refuses to fall. Not only has Bushitler refrained from rounding up liberals and putting them to the sword, the heady air of freedom has never been headier.

In many social circles, people not only dare to launch vicious attacks on the President, they risk ostracism if they fail to do so. It’s not quite the repressive atmosphere that liberals were expecting. Are liberals setting up overseas bank accounts so they are ready to flee when the crackdown comes? Um, no. Indeed, liberals appear serenely confident that no adverse consequences will follow from their accusing the President of every crime known to humanity. They go happily about their business, secure in the knowledge that their hysterical attacks on the President are bullshit.

To date, President Bush has failed even to accuse his critics of a lack of patriotism, let alone imprison or behead them. This is not what has traditionally been characterized as fascism.

And yet, liberals are convinced deep down inside that we conservatives are all Nazis at heart. How to reconcile that conviction with the facts? Easy! President Bush is the one person standing between America and the Dark Night! When he is assassinated–by someone further to the right!–all heck breaks loose. Because it was Dick Cheney who was the chief Nazi all along:

The new President, speaking from a ‘secure location’ soon nicknamed Bunker One, announced that ‘those who celebrate death will learn to taste it soon enough’. Dick Cheney appeared unfazed by the day’s gruesome events.

At home and abroad, the gloating over Bush’s death soon gave way to a sober realisation that he had actually been a check on Dick Cheney’s ruthless way of defending America from enemies at home or abroad.

Executive orders authorising detention without trial of citizens as well as aliens suspected of ‘terrorist affiliations’ and closing America’s borders were signed off with astonishing alacrity, as were military plans to strike regimes that had celebrated Bush’s death.

The American people, always suspect in the Left’s eyes, fall in with the totalitarian spirit of the times, and war ensues around the globe:

Cheney’s re-election campaign in 2008 was conducted in a virtual state of emergency, with him addressing the Republican convention by 3D video link from a secure location. The mood of ongoing crisis, combined with the choice of Jeb Bush as his Vice President, widely seen in America as a tribute to the slain President, ensured him a landslide.

For a man with a history of heart problems, Cheney’s survival for almost ten years as president during what the New York Times called ‘Our Time of Troubles’ was remarkable.

‘I thrive on crisis,’ Cheney explained, ‘it was peace that got me tense.’ Occasionally he was short of breath, but Cheney even turned this to his advantage. Images of President Cheney in a wheelchair at Thanksgiving 2010 were carefully choreographed to recall Franklin Roosevelt in charge of the war effort 70 years earlier.

Despite the mayhem since Bush’s murder, most Americans had preferred to stick by Dick Cheney. His no-nonsense manner reassured, even as crises kept recurring.

Guantanamo Bay has been another source of frustration for liberals. Despite their efforts to portray Gitmo as the Gulag of our time, our soldiers there continue serving culturally-appropriate foods to the prisoners–generally resulting in substantial weight gains–and handling their Korans with gloves. Once President Bush is out of the way, though, Guantanamo Bay finally turns into the sort of place the liberals wanted to see all along:

The Guantanamo Bay camp was enlarged to accommodate the internees. Castro’s regime protested. The ailing Fidel wasn’t really in charge any more and his brother, Raul, tried to boost his own public image by organising a mass march to the U.S. base.

Whatever the younger Castro meant to happen, the carefully orchestrated crowds began to pull at the fences around the camp and then to try to climb it.

What happened next is disputed. The U.S. Marines guarding the camp claimed Cuban secret policemen shot at the people trying to climb into the base to stop them escaping from communism. The Cuban authorities said their security forces opened fire to defend the protesters, who were being attacked by the Yankee soldiers. Soon 113 people, including women and children, were dead.

Death of a President is liberal wish-fulfillment, with America careening toward totalitarianism and the world in flames. And all that was necessary was for President Bush to be put out of the way! The rest of us conservatives are fascists…it’s only that pesky President Bush that stands in our way. Yes, I see it now…it all makes sense. No wonder it was a conservative who assassinated him!

Death of a President is insane, of course. Nevertheless, it appears to represent an effort by at least one group of leftists to bring their fantasies more nearly in line with reality, by acknowledging the absurdity of their beliefs in the context of the world we live in, and creating an alternative universe in which liberal fantasies are no longer stupid.