Friday, August 14, 2009

Earlier this week, my terrific girlfriend introduced me to what has to be the best team name in professional baseball. Playing in the Stedler Division of the New York-Penn League and located in Burlington, Vermont, the Short-A affiliate of the Washington Nationals are known as the Vermont Lake Monsters. Originally the Vermont Expos, the team had to change its name after the big league club's move to DC. After a contest, they settled on the Lake Monsters, named after their longtime mascot Champ, the Lake Champlain lake monster, itself named after a local Loch Ness-style superstition. Whatever the etymology, it's a fantastic name. I love the idea of going to a Lake Monsters game three nights a week.

It's the type of thing that you can only get away with in the minors and independent leagues. With only thirty big league franchises that have to serve millions of fans, the names are far from daring. Plus, with generations of fans having grown up with the one ballclub, there isn't really any room for name changes. In the minors, though, that's just not the case. Teams are sold, affiliates are changed, and owners are constantly looking for ways to excite their fan base. It's the perfect storm for creative team names and mascots.

With that in mind, I thought it'd be fun to take a look at the various minor leagues (and only the minor leagues - there are just too many independent leagues to try to weed through) and see what the most creative club names were. Clubs like the Pawtucket Red Sox or Helena Brewers, then, won't be included here, and even names like the Columbus Clippers and Portland Beavers are a little too pedestrian to make the list. I'm looking for the really unique names because, after all, that's just one of the charms of the minor leagues.

Using the list of minor leagues over at Wikipedia, I went through each of the leagues and chose the ones that seemed most interesting. Here, then, are the most creative club names in each of the affiliated minor leagues:

There are three more minor leagues, but every team in them is named after their affiliate, like the Bristol White Sox or Bluefield Orioles: the Appalachian League (Advanced Rookie), the Gulf Coast League (Rookie), and the Arizona League (Rookie).

Besides the Lake Monsters, my favorite of these teams are probably the Lansing Lugnuts, Montgomery Biscuits, and the Jupiter Hammerheads, each fantastically unique team names (check out that cap!). The Volcanoes, Ghosts, and Sand Gnats are all pretty great names too. It's no surprise, really, that they are all in the lower-level leagues, as that's where the financial needs of a team are most apparent. They're like independent leagues in that respect.

Whatever the reasons, though, it's easy to agree that there are some fantastically creative and fun team names and mascots in the minor leagues. It makes me wish that I had more opportunities to travel around the minors and go see the different teams and their stadiums. A summer of that, seeing games from triple-A to low-A, would be a blast (imagine the collection of hats and t-shirts you could get!). Until then, though, it's nice to know that there are so many fun and unique teams around the leagues.

I know it's a Simpsons reference and, as a Simpsons fan, I can appreciate why people like it. But I still don't. I guess because a) I think it's a silly name and b) it seems a little too blatant in its Simpsons-origins. Plus, knowing that it was chosen in an online poll, I can just see a bunch of Colbert-esque Simpsons geeks stuffing the ballot box.

Now, if you want to be cute and blatant in your Simpsons-ness, I think a name like the Dancin' Homers or the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant All-Stars (or, for short, the Albuquerque SNPPAS) works better... ok, maybe not, but at least they're unapologetic...

Those are all great names. It always seems so random when they choose names like Manatees or Muckdogs (Muckdogs?!) but, the funny thing is, they're usually chosen by some sort of fan vote. It's just a good look at small-town America, I guess - how those communities view what's important to them and such.

You're absolutely right about the Route 66 thing. I have nothing against that part of the name. It's as good as the 49ers, in my mind. What I don't like is the "Inland Empire _____ of San Bernadino" part that bothers me. That's like the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" to the 10th power.

And, AM, wow. That's quite the team name. Cracked me up. I wonder how everyone in good ol' Kansas reacted to that name. Thanks for the comment.

Lar, I didn't realize that was the used name. I thought it was just the Inland Empire 66ers, which I could deal with. San Bernandino used Inland Empire as a marketing and recongition tool, but to used both Inland Empire and San Bernadino is too much.

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