Menu

Friday, August 4, 2017

I'm always trying to see if there are spoilers about their comebacks every day. When they go on broadcasts, I watch them without fail. When they have a controversy, I try to defend and clarify it for them. I stream their songs and vote for them. When they have a concert, I make a fuss about it just so that I'm able to buy their tickers. I buy their albums and their merch. I go to their fansign events and bought all their albums and photo cards........

The fan culture is a culture of consumption. Although I'm the one who chose to fangirl, I sometimes have a reality check when I think back about all the money I spent for my bias.

My bias doesn't even know what I look like and doesn't even know of my existence. But thinking about how one word from my bias can make me cry or laugh makes me think that I'm such a fool

No matter how much love the fans give to their bias, they are all dating among themselves. My bias won't even know if I were to die tomorrow... I just get lots of thoughts like these...

Also, even though I think about this everyday, I can't help myself from fangirlingㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I'm so funny

Ha... I relate so much with this. Me too I get reality checks sometimes. I think "is there even a good reason for me to offer my money to my bias like that?" Me too, I know that I'm insane for fangirling like this and that I'm such a severe case. I wonder if my parents would react badly towards me. There are so many pretty and handsome people in the entertainment industry but their goal is to gain fans and gain fans' favor. No matter how much they say that "fans are the best" or "there's nothing else than fans", I feel that they just sound like hypocrites. Just with one fansign, they make thousands of dollars. But if I don't get to see them, it just makes me want to fangirl on them even harder. I keep thinking about this and I can't give up on my bias. I hate this side of myself so much