Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I was thinking the other day about safety. I was thinking that even though I live in podunk, Illinois with relatively little crime, that sometimes I do not feel safe. I don't really know what I feel is threatening me, but sometimes, I just feel like I am in danger. But anyway, I was praying about safety the other night just to tell God that I was feeling unsafe for some odd reason. And then I went to bed with the prayer along the lines of asking God to keep me safe from harm so that I may live another day trying to be of service to Him. So anyway, I fell asleep and got up the next day (at 6:30 a.m. mind you) and I drove to school. I got out of my car and was walking, walking, walking toward the building in which I have class. So, I have to walk past a grade school on my way to my building because there are just a lot of schools by the college. Anyway, I got to the place where I needed to cross the street and all of a sudden, the crossing guard took out her little sign and stopped all the traffic as I went past. She isn't there for us college students. No, she is there for the kids who have to cross the street, even though there is a stop sign where all the traffic must stop. But she is there to ensure the kids' safety. But I thought, after all these months of crossing the street on my own, this woman stops all traffic for me (Granted, some kid was approaching the crosswalk) and I got to have that EXTRA protection of having the crossing guard keep traffic stopped. I looked upward and said, "Is this your idea of a joke?" I smiled, of course, because I think it is funny when God shows His sense of humor. But, I just thought I would let that one into the blogosphere for fun. Ok, the end.

Hi. I'm really bored right now. I need to type some notes and email them to a classmate, but I'm a super-slacker. But anyway... Thanksgiving was good. I got to see my 2 1/2 year old nephew on Sunday. I think he very well could be the smartest/cutest kid in the entire world! Haha. He's adorable and he's so smart. He remembers the things that make the various people in his life laugh, and then does them when he sees them. An example of this is that my sisters and I laugh a lot when he does his fake gulp thing. So, I went into my house Sunday after church and he saw me from the kitchen and I could see him do his fake gulp. Then, after I got home from work (Bummer, I know, 4 hours away from that cuteness was torture) I was sitting in the living room when he came up to me, grabbed my hands and said, "Get up!" So I got up and he took me out to our piano. He climbed up on the bench, pushed some of the keys, turned to me, and said, "Loud!" So, I played him a little bit of chopsticks which he thought was funny. Then I said, "Listen to this!" and I played him the lowest key and the highest key and said, "That one sounds like a bear! And this one sounds like a little birdie!" And I did a big roar and a chirp chirp in sync with the keys. He thought that was funny, too. And then I played the lowest key and said, "Papa Bear," then the next octave higher and said "Mama Bear," and then the next higher and said, "Baby Bear." And then I said, "Where's Mama Bear?" And he pushed a key that was in the general area of the one I did. And he's only 2 1/2! I thought that was cute so I laughed. But, all good things must come to an end and they left at around 7:30 or so. I love that kid and it was wonderful to see him. I was very thankful that day for family. I try to be thankful every day for family, but sometimes it is difficult when you are a 23 year old female who commutes to college because living at home with Ma is cheaper than trying to go to school, work, and live on your own, but Ma treats you like you're still 12. But, at least she loves me and puts a roof over my head, so, I shouldn't complain. Anyway, that's it for now. I think later I am going to post some thoughts I had about Advent. But not now. Bye!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I am sitting here at MY OWN computer typing this blog! I'm very happy because most of the time, I would be asleep right now because I have to wake up really early. But, this whole blessed week is Thanksgiving BREAK! Yeehaw! So, I'm staying up late and just bumming around. It's grand. However, I need to write a few papers that will be due shortly after break ends. Ah, the seemingly never-ending cycle. Ah well. There's no other way to get there, right? I'm just excited that I get to relax a little. So, I'm still waiting to hear from the Church, Oxford Documents, or ANYONE about whether or not I get to be a candidate for ministry. I'm not really scared about it, because I know God is at work in my life, but I just kinda want to know so that I can either go full on into the process or just start thinking of something else to do. I am so confused about my "call" that it's just rather frustrating. I know, discernment is hard work. It is just that sometimes I feel like God wants me to be a pastor for His glory and to show Jesus to the people out there. And then sometimes I think there is NO way that I am worthy enough. I know I've probably said this before. It's just a struggle in my mind. And this waiting, waiting, waiting is not making anything any easier. It has been 2 months, one week, and two days since I authorized the background check. No word... Nothing in my past would really be the hold up in that department. I've never even gotten a real speeding ticket. (I got a city citation once, but that didn't go on my record so I don't count it). But then you know, maybe someone out there has my same name and stuff and they have me confused with the axe-murderer from Fulton County or something. I don't know. I guess my impatience is just showing. I respect the Church and their decision making processes. I just need to work on patience. Good things come to those who wait. Later.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

An interesting set of "events" has been occurring in the past week or so. I went to Mooching Monday at my sister and her hubby's house. This Monday, Sis's best childhood friend was here from Florida with her husband. They came to Mooching Monday, too. We all had dinner and were chatting and the likes, and after the plates were cleared away and everyone was just sitting at the table, we started discussing politics. Pretty soon, Best Childhood Friend (BCF) brought up welfare and was making various opinionated statements about it when I told her that the average welfare recipient is a middle aged white woman with about 2 or 3 kids. No one at the table believed this. I told them, yes, because these people who are on welfare are getting the assistance because of various reasons. Often, a husband will leave wife and children by death or divorce, thus leaving them financially less well off. Often because the family may suffer from downsizing. The "feminization of poverty" is a real thing. The truth is, not all people who are on welfare are getting help because they are lazy, system bilking jerks. Brother in law then gave a few examples of how he "knows" a family that lives in Chicago and they drive a BMW but when it is time to pass out the welfare checks they go to Alabama, park their car in the shed, and sit their six kids on the porch in old play clothes. This may be true, but how many people actually do that? A few thousand maybe, but truth be told, "Welfare Queens" generally do not exist. So, they were basically telling me that because I go to a liberal-arts college, my opinions and the research I have read is wrong. So, I just said, "Brother, you don't know everything." And then somehow the conversation shifted to my potential future. BCF and BCF's husband are both involved with law enforcement. BCF is a prison guard and BCF's husband is a cop. So anyway, they mentioned something about prison ministry and I said, "That sounds interesting, and like something I might want to try some day." To which just about everyone at the table basically replied, "That's a bad idea... You're too naive." I told them, "Felons need Jesus, too." To which they then replied, most of them have given up on Jesus. But the point is, they still NEED Jesus. And while I wouldn't go shove it down their throats and get all crazy with it, there is a calling out there for people to preach the Gospel in prisons. Some of these people have never heard about Jesus and his love. Society shuns these people, they feel hopeless, and that is one factor that leads to recidivism. But at this point, I thought of Matthew 25, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me." Then the people who Jesus was talking to asked him, "Lord when did we do these things for you?" And Jesus replied, "Just as you have done it to the least of these who are members of my family, you have done it also to me." But, I kicked myself because I didn't say this and I KNEW I should have. *kick, kick, kick* So, anyway, I've been thinking about that ALL week because it just bothers me that some people are content to let the government (nothing against the U.S.; I think it's a great place to live) keep going along in a rather mediocre way of feeding people, and keeping people at standards to which this part of the world is celebrated as having. Millions of people in THIS country are starving and I don't think that's ok. Some European countries do such a great job at eradicating poverty that we should be ashamed of ourselves. It really is upsetting that because a few cases here and there are giving a bad name to Welfare (which isn't really called that, anymore anyway) that people think EVERYONE on welfare is bilking the system. And it bothers me that people think felons are a lost cause. And it bothers me, I guess on a selfish, more downscaled note that people think I'm stupid and naive and believe everything I hear. So, I've been thinking about that whole exchange all week. So today I sit here in the lab at school waiting for my other class to convene. But in my waiting time, I try to write the Prayers of the People. (I have been blessed with the opportunity to write the P. of the P. that is used in weekly worship for the last 2 years or so). So, I pulled out my bulletin that has the texts of the week on it. I use this to write appropriate prayers. So, I pulled that out and when I come to the Gospel reading, it is none other that Matthew 25:31-46. And it just seems interesting to me that that would be the lesson for this coming Sunday. And the story doesn't end there. I checked my email after I wrote the prayers and I got an e-issue of Christianity today. I was reading it and the article, "Deep Down From Heaven" by Max Lucado says that God loves us too much too make the world all about us. Because then the salvation of the world would be up to us. God knows we can't do it all, so He gives us our own jobs to do. Lucado likens God to a master mechanic father dealing with a son who can't tell the difference between a fan belt and a spare tire while at the same time dealing with a severely broken car. That father, knowing his son is not mechanically inclined gives that son the job of cleaning spark plugs or putting sawdust over oil spots. God gives us these jobs to do, fully knowing that we could in no way pretend to work at Mr. Goodwrench. He wants us to do what we can with the gifts we have been given. Anyway, I just thought that tied in with everything I've been thinking. Maybe I'll add to this later. I don't know. Have a good day.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Well, I just got home from work a little while ago. I made myself some of those potato skins with cheese and bacon bits on them for dinner. I love them and do not know what I would do if I actually was forced to learn how to cook. I'd probably starve to death. Ha. But anyway, I was surfing the Internet tonight just looking at various websites in my "favorites" dropdown list. I went to the MyChoice Theological Seminary webpage and saw that they are having their semi-annual "Considering Your Call" conference on Ministry this weekend. I went to this thing last year and it was incredible. It is located in a nice city, the seminary is easy to get to, and the whole experience was just marked indelibly into my mind. I really enjoyed meeting all the people who were "discerning their call" like I am. It really helps you feel less alone. Although, a lot of the people came with spouses, or friends from college or something, and I was all alone. But, I did make friends. I really enjoyed just about every aspect of the whole weekend. As a matter of fact, the only thing I would do differently is ask if I could room alone. My roommate was an amazingly nice woman; I have nothing bad at all to say about her. But, I didn't realize how much I enjoy moments of solitude. Because the people at the seminary planned activities and things, there really wasn't a lot of "free time," per se, so we were always in the midst of others. And that is great because it really helps you see how they focus on building community. However, I really like having personal space sometimes. So, I think it would have been better if I'd have roomed alone. But, I still really, really, really enjoyed my time out there and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who is discerning going into public ministry. Everyone is nice, the campus is wonderful, and I was especially taken by the meditation chapel. The simplicity of it all was just moving. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but that's the place I liked best. That, and the regular chapel. But anyway, this post has been long enough. It brought up some fond memories for me to think about before I fall asleep. Good night and God bless!

Today, November 10 is a special day, I suppose, in the life of Lutheranism. Today is Martin Luther, the father of the Reformation's birthday! If Luther was still alive, he'd be 522. He was born in 1483. I thought it was noteworthy considering without him, we would not have Lutheranism as we know it. I, for one, am very grateful for the life and ministry of Luther, because without him, we would not be where we are today. But I just now wondered, his birthday was only several days after he posted his theses on the door at Wittenberg, so how must he have spent that particular birthday? Perhaps it was spent running from the Catholic authorities? What a way to celebrate your 34th birthday! Well, happy birthday, Martin Luther! Thank you for your trailblazing ways! The Lutheran Church has come a long way, but we couldn't have started without ya! So, let's just wish Dr. Luther a great big posthumous 522nd birthday. What a day. Blessings.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I thought I'd tell you all a story about Halloween night... I was at Denise's for Mooching Mondays and we were sitting in the kitchen waiting for trick or treaters. So, they would come and we would rush the door to pass out the candy. So, I opened the door to one group of them and one kid was a viking and there was a princess and maybe one of the Incredibles... So, I said to the viking kid, "are you a viking?" And he said, "yes!" and I said, "Did you know that one time, Vikings invaded England because they ran out of beer?!" Then the kid kinda looked at me, got his candy and ran away. Denise, John, and Janet then proceeded to laugh at me uncontrollably and prohibit me from answering the door anymore. They also told me to stop scaring the kids. haha. So, i just thought that was funny. Maybe just to me? Who knows.

Here I sit with 6, count them 6 weeks left until this semester is over. Two weeks are left until Thanksgiving Break, then a week of Thanksgiving break, then two more weeks of actual school, and then finally, finals week. I was doing pretty well with everything until today. We are learning all about these crazy concepts in Statistics. Chi squared equals this and that, blah blah blah. They might as well be speaking in Greek.. OH wait! They do! ha. Chi, sigma, delta, and all those things are Greek! No wonder I don't understand! Anyway, I was pulling a strong B up until now. I have a test next Thursday and I'm fairly certain I'm not going to do well on it. You see, when I went to jr. college, I had to take a class designed to help people with what they call, "math anxiety." If you don't think you're going to do well, they say, that is half the problem. Think positively. So, I must think that I am going to do well (I have to study too, you know)... So. It just made me think about John 14:1. "Let not your hearts be troubled..." And also Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." So, here I sit worrying about a test in one week that I should not be worrying about. I can hope to do well on it, but why worry? Will a big fat "F" make Jesus love me any less? Nooo... Or he'd have dropped me long ago. I just need to remember the larger scope of things and not focus on what has no eternal consequence. But anyway. That's it for now. I think I'm going to go read a book for class. Have a blessed day.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Well, I have no tests today and I don't feel like reading any books, so I thought I'd go blogsurfing. I occasionally see blog questionaire things and what not, but I usually read them and move on. Today, however, I thought since I really have nothing better to do, I would do one. So, here goes:

Copy, paste, answer, add one of your own:

Have you ever...1. smoked a cigar - No, because when I was a little girl I had one puff of a cigarette my dad told me to breathe in real deep. Kept me away from smokes forever.2. crashed a friend's car - no3. stolen a car - no4. been in love - puppy love, yes. Real, deep, I could marry you love, no.5. been dumped - Of course.6. dumped someone - Yes, although I'd rather be the dumpee than the dumper.7. taken shots of alcohol - yes, but only a few because I'm a lightweight!8. been fired – Ha. One time one of my bosses and I got into a fight and I said, "I QUIT!" and she said, "You don't have to quit, you're fired!" But then my other boss said, you're not leaving. So, since I'm still there, I've never been fired.9. been in a fist fight - No. 10. snuck out of a/your house - Yes, because I was a worrywart who didn't believe my parents trusted me, and therefore I would sneak out in order to do things that really did not warrant sneaking out.11. had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - Hasn't everyone?12. been arrested - No. Although two of my siblings have. Ha.13. made out with a stranger - No. I'm a prude.14. gone on a blind date - Yes. Blind dates suck.15. lied to a friend - yes16. had a crush on a teacher - Ohhhh yeah! The student teacher for P.E. when I was a freshwoman. Oh and also one of the history teachers who I did not have, but who I thought was hot anyway.18. seen someone die - Yep. Tried to do CPR; it didn't work.19. been on a plane - No, although it is one of my life goals to get my pilot's license.20. thrown up in a bar - No. I've only puked from alcohol consumption one time. That was in my room at about 2:30 a.m. after some strawberry daquiris with extra rum added.21. eaten insects/grubs/worms/larvae - Probably in my sleep.22. miss someone right now - You might be able to say that.23. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - yes24. made a snow angel - yes25. played dress up - yes26. cheated while playing a game - yes27. been lonely - yes28. fallen asleep at work/school - All the time! In high school, I woke up in study hall one day to find that everyone was gone because it was 3:15. And then when I tried to stand up and walk out, I dropped all my stuff because my arms had fallen asleep. Only the supervisor was left though, so I didn't feel TOO stupid.29. used a fake id - no30. felt an earthquake - yes! Just a wee little one about a year and a half ago. Right there in smalltown, Illinois where I live! I thought someone had hit my house with their car again, but I was too tired to get up and look so I finished falling asleep. Next morning I found out it as an earthquake.31. touched a snake - I really hate snakes.32. run a red light - Yesterday on accident. I was following a semi truck and I couldn't see the light, but it had just changed to green so I wasn't expecting it to turn red already.33. had detention - No. I even only had my name on the board once.34. been in a car accident - not anything huge, just some spinouts, some ditches, stuff like that.35. hated the way you look - yes37. been lost - yes38. been to the opposite side of the country - No. I've been to Canada though!39. felt like dying - Not really. Just you know, when you're sick and you're like, just kill me so I can stop puking!40. cried yourself to sleep - maybe a few times.41. played cops and robbers - not really. 42. sung karaoke - No, I can't carry a tune in a bucket.43. done something you told yourself you wouldn't - yes. ugh. I disgust myself soemtimes.44. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - yes, all over my pancakes. What a bummer.45. caught a snowflake on your tongue - No. Acid snow!46. kissed in the rain - no47. sang in the shower - All the time, even though I'm a bad singer.48. made love in a park - Does public indecency mean nothing to you!49. had a dream that you married someone - No.50. glued your hand to something - yup. I was fixing something with superglue, no less, and I glued my fingers to the paper that was protecting the table.51. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - no.52. worn the opposite sex's clothes - I don't really recall.53. Been a cheerleader – No. I really am not into the cheerleader scene.54. sat on a roof top - yes55. talked on the phone all night - No way.56. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone – No. I like scary movies.57. played chicken fight - nope..58. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - Not pushed, per se... But when I was little, my sister and I were playing catch in the yard and she kept throwing the ball farther and farther to my right and by the time I realized what she was trying to do, I was in the pool soaking wet.59. been told you're hot by a complete stranger - hot no.. Cute, yes.60. broken a bone - Mmm. I was born with a broken collarbone. Does that count?61. had a 3-some? - Ewww.62. dipped snuff? - Gross. 63. lived overseas - Never have.64. Ever passed out/fainted? - Sure, 5 times. It's weird.65. blown bubbles in the wintertime - no.66. slept in your car? - only while driving. ;) j/k.67. given money to a stranger? - yes68. forgot your birthday? - no69. forgot your best friend's birthday? - yes70. been in the presence of the Pope or the President? - One time the first George Bush was at my grade school, but I wasn't there because it wasn't during school hours.71. failed a test? - yeah. When I was in high school I was very apathetic about grades and a lot of things.72. failed a class? - Sure. But my mom doesn't know because they had computer glitches that term so it showed up as a C on my report card. They did give me a corrected copy, but I "misplaced" it. I'm bad.73. accurately predicted a future event? - I've had feelings about stuff, but never full on predicted it.74. slept overnight in a hospital without being a patient? - no.75. realized a dream? - Well, I "realized" two dreams (meaning goals) in one day, actually. I wanted to beat the computer on the SNES JEOPARDY game, and did that, and then later I went to the bowling alley and saw a phone booth. SO, I had always wanted to be inside a real phone booth, so I walked across the street and stood in it for a minute. Two dreams of mine in one day. Wooohoo.76. changed the clock at work so you could get out sooner?- No, but I've witnessed someone else doing that!