A Letter to Moms of HOM

04.27.09

Dear Moms of Higher Order Multiples,

Now this may ruffle a few feathers, but I’m tired of hearing, witnessing and reading (5/2 – note by “reading” I am referring to activity I’ve witnessed on certain message boards, not individual blogs) your whines and complaints about how terrible the general public is to you. Do you honestly not understand what joy your children bring to others?

When someone asks you if you have triplets don’t sigh, roll your eyes and answer “yes” like it’s the worst thing in the world to have triplets (I know that’s not your intent, but it’s how it comes off). I actually had a fellow mom of triplets do those very things to me last week when I ran into her and her triplets and asked (looking for confirmation) if her kids were triplets. I saw the slightest hint of regret when I then pointed to my own triplets (one on my hip and two at my feet) and joyfully said “Me too!”.

Perhaps because you are too preoccupied with avoiding questions, stares and photo ops to care that someone may be asking because they have triplets themselves and are just looking to make a connection with another mom. Or because they are a triplet themselves (I met a grown triplet at The Children’s Place last week and I could tell she was hesitant to say something to me likely because she’d had her head bitten off by other moms in the past). Or because you simply have made their day by having your adorable children out in public.

I find the majority of people who run into me and hold me up briefly from whatever errands I was running merely want to gush because they’re excited. They should be! My kids are pretty darn cute and pretty special! I think it’s wonderful and totally appropriate for people to get excited when they see HOM (Higher Order Multiples). If you recognize their genuine excitement for all that it is (just excitement) perhaps you could return their smile with a smile of your own instead of sighs, rolled eyes or even flat out ignoring them.

And while I’m on my soap box – chill out about the pictures. Honestly, it’s not like the picture could in any way be taken as innapropiate. What are you so worried about? Most of us have blogs and plaster the web with our own pictures anyway! If the sweet old man wants to take a picture with his cell phone so he can show his wife, let him. It’s probably making his day and will make his wife’s. No need to be so rude.

Basically, just think twice before you respond rudely to people. If you force yourself to respond with a smile perhaps you’ll truly begin to respond joyfully to people. Believe me, venturing out with your little zoo is a lot more fun and a lot less stressful when it’s done with a joyful heart.