Police help blind author finish her novel after her pen runs out of ink

In a heartwarming story of people helping people and triumph over adversity, police helped a blind British novelist recover 26 pages of her book when she continued writing without realizing that her pen had run out. Unless of course her book turns out to be Twilight fan fiction, in which case the story is a Kafka-esque nightmare about the inevitability of horror.

Forensics experts agreed to use a special scientific process to recover what Trish Vickers had written by examining the dents she had made in the pages. Mrs Vickers, 59, was left devastated when she learned that her pen had run out and there was nothing on the first 26 pages of the book. She lost her sight seven years ago through diabetes and decided to write a novel to pass the time and keep her mind active. She quickly penned the opening chapters while using a system of elastic bands to keep the lines separated on the pages of paper she was using. She waited for her son Simon to visit so he could read it back to her. But when he arrived he had to tell her that the pages were blank. Incredibly, however, the manuscript was recovered after the family took it to their local police HQ and asked for help.

Well sure, that sounds like a job for British police, I can’t imagine they have anything better to do. BUT WHAT OF ALL THE CATS STUCK UP TREES, WHAT! I guess they’ll just have to stay up there now, poor kitties. ;-(

Forensic experts worked in their spare time to read the indentations left on the A4 pages using a system of lights. It took five months of painstaking work, but the forensic team was able to recover the whole text – and they said how much they had enjoyed it and couldn’t wait for the rest.

Hmm, I don’t want to question the British police force’s techniques, but this “special scientific process…” did it involve staring really hard at a piece of paper? Because it sounds a lot like it involved staring really hard at pieces of paper.

Mrs Vickers, from Charmouth, near Lyme Regis, Dorset, now intends to complete the novel, called Grannifer’s Legacy, which is about a character called Jennifer whose life implodes. The character loses her job, her boyfriend, and worst of all her great-grandmother who has always been her guide. She has to start a new life and the story is about how she does that. When it is finished Mrs Vickers, who has a volunteer call in once a week to type up her work, intends to send it to a publisher. [Telegraph]

I know it’s not strictly movie related (YET), but I love this story. Especially the part where old diabetic ladies call the police when they can’t remember their novel, and the police totally help them! NIGEL, QUICK! CALL 999! PADDINGTON BEAR HAS RUN OUT OF PORRIDGE! Meanwhile, in my neighborhood, the police shoot people and urchins break their windows. Advantage: England.

In related jokes, did you hear what Helen Keller said when someone handed her a cheese grater? “Most violent book I ever read.”

I was there when they completed the pages. Gertrude Stein and I read it. We agreed it was a good book but not a great one. It needed some work, but could be fine Dr. Who meets 50 Shades of Grey slash fic. We laughed over it and Helen Keller punched me in the mouth.