I have never posted anything online about my situation before but I feel it’s time to get this out and if anyone has any thoughts or insights to share, so much the better.

I am a man aged 37.

I have been in touch with my spiritual side for as long as I can remember. My life has had its ups and downs like everyone and I have had periods when I made some dumb decisions and was not the best version of myself.

Most of my regrets have to do with relationships and generally the role I’ve allowed my ego to play in my life. I got married young and I wasn’t ready for that commitment at all so it didn’t last long. I married a second time, again for all the wrong reasons. That one lasted about 7 years. No kids thankfully.

Right now I am at the best place I’ve probably ever been for the most part. I’m healthy, I’m holding myself accountable and to a standard, I can be proud of. When it comes to relationships, I should be beside myself with happiness. But something is not quite right. Here’s my story…

I have always had an easy time dating, too easy to be honest (related to those periods in my life of behaving in ways I’m not proud of!). But at the same time, I have always known that I ultimately wanted to find a truly deep connection and settle down for good.

Off and on for many years, I have had this same dream that was like a snapshot of my future. In this dream, there was a woman who had her back to me but I knew every time that she was “My Person” – there are so many labels but I mean the person I was going to end up with and find my deepest happiness with in this life. I never saw her face. Every time I would have this dream and then wake up I would feel slightly heartbroken for a while realizing that the bliss I felt in the dream was not “real” in my life.

A few years ago, I met a woman through a mutual friend. I’ll call her Eve. As soon as I saw her, I was sure she was the woman in my dream. I was super nervous, I was like a kid. I’ll reiterate here that I’ve dated quite a few women without this ever crossing my mind; in other words, I’m not just a hopeless romantic ready to fall for the first woman to give me the time of day.

For a long time, I did nothing but I could not forget her. Finally, I got up my nerve and I went and told her what I was feeling. She was kind of shocked of course but also flattered and for me it felt amazing to put it out there. I figured that nothing would happen, she was married with one child at the time, but I felt like I had fulfilled something just by telling her.

I went on with my life. I’d see her occasionally and we would sometimes chat. My feelings toward her didn’t really change. When I did see her, I would feel that same nervous excitement. Even though I was mostly resigned that nothing would ever happen, inside I felt and thought if anything ever changed for her, I would drop everything to give things a shot with her.

But, life went on. I was focusing on building my business. I was dating. I was making connections but none were anything special, just superficial connections I would say.

About 2 years ago I met a woman through my job and this was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I’ll call her Sandy. There was no instant knowing of anything specific like with Eve (knowing she was the one in my dream), but there was SOMETHING BIG. The energy between us, whenever we were around each other, was insane. I saw her a few times, each time it was the same, and then she disappeared for a while, like a couple of months. I was disappointed but it wasn’t like we had bonded tons by then. Again, I went on about my life.

Then Sandy came back. The second I saw her, it was the same again. I told her I was so glad she’d come back, we chatted casually a little, until I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. I told her that there was some kind of strong energy between us. She felt it too and she told me that is why she had stopped coming for a while because it was so intense that it freaked her out.

Getting this out in the open really helped us both relax and we became very good friends very quickly. We would talk about everything including our spiritual beliefs that were shockingly similar. I told her straight up that we must have known each other in past lives, it was the only way to explain this connection. But at the same time, I knew it was even more than that, I just didn’t know the words for it.

The comfort and safety I felt around her was crazy. At the same time, I was insanely attracted to her. She is beautiful for sure, but the way I felt was like totally out of proportion. She felt it all too. Her circumstances were and are more complicated than mine. We did let those feelings carry us away a few times and it was incredible.

The energy with her is just WOW.

We were not sure what to make of what we were feeling but we agreed that we did not need to know and could just go with the flow as long as we kept communicating openly. Our friendship deepened even more. I have never felt quite like this about anyone. She shows me a sort of strong, deep, steady, drama-free, unconditional love that I have never felt from anyone else and I feel the same way about her.

I trust her probably more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. She is funny and highly intelligent and is not afraid to give me criticism, which I love. She is independent, can take care of herself, but she is not threatened by the idea of sharing herself and her life either. She is beautiful and full of passion. She is such a blessing in my life.

We started experiencing some amazing synchronicities, especially her. Through one of those bizarre “coincidences,” she learned the term Twin Flame. She told me about it immediately. Two halves of the same soul, sharing the same energy and frequency, the comfort, trust, attraction, and connection. It was OBVIOUS that this thing between us fits in every way.

Since then we have basically taken this as a given. I am her and she is me, we acknowledge it all the time. She will text me “Hey me, how’s your day going?” We often pick up each other’s feelings even when we aren’t together.

So here’s the confusing part. A few months after Sandy and I first discussed our connection and were growing closer all the time, the same mutual friend who had introduced me to Eve like a year earlier let it slip that Eve had told her that she was developing feelings toward me. She made it sound like a crush, she said Eve told her that she would dress up more if she knew she was going to see me, and she felt butterflies around me, that kind of thing.

Remember how I mentioned my ego? Well, it really liked this news. Eve started texting me. We talked on the phone here and there. She started to express that she was feeling something too, and she told me that things in her marriage had been rocky for a while. I told her immediately that I would not be cool with her jumping directly from him to me if that is what she was hinting at. She agreed that would not be healthy and said she was not completely sure yet anyway that the marriage was over. Life went on.

Then one day the mutual friend told me she had news. Eve had just found out, and told the mutual friend, that she was pregnant. Eve and her husband would be having a second child. I’m not proud of it, but this news really hit me hard, harder than I would have thought. It made me feel like this was the final curtain, that there was now no way we might ever be able to give things a shot. I know this is making me sound like a fool and I knew it then too. I have no defense to that. I’m just being honest.

It happened to be that I saw Sandy like the day after I had learned this news. Things with Sandy and I had been the same; that is how things are with her, steady, solid, easy, fun and loving. I told her everything that day. I said I was sorry if hearing this would hurt her feelings, but that I could never be dishonest with her. I told her all of it starting with the dream I’d always had, the way I felt when I met Eve, how I had told Eve right to her face that I was sure I’d been seeing her in my dreams and that we were supposed to end up together. I told Sandy that since meeting Eve, I had always felt that if given the chance to be with Eve, I would drop everything to do so. I kept saying over and over to Sandy, I’m so sorry this must be hard to hear.

I restated for the thousandth time how I feel about her, how important she is to me, how I can’t imagine my life without her. Some of the things I said to Sandy came out of my mouth before I even realized them myself. Like I told her that day that I didn’t know how or why exactly, but that I am sure that I won’t be able to do everything I’m supposed to do in this life without her in my life. As soon as I said it, I thought hmm, I didn’t know that before now. But yes it’s 100% true.

I also told her of course that I’d just learned Eve was pregnant and how I interpreted that to mean the chance would never come. I expressed to Sandy how it hurt me to think that.

As always, Sandy took it all in with grace. She said she wasn’t sure if she would feel differently after she processed everything, but that for now she was glad I had been honest, and she reminded me of what we had both said so many times – whatever this is between us, it is. If something more is supposed to happen, then at some point that would be clear to us. If the connection is what we think it is, then nothing else we could do or not do could stand in its way in the end. So we don’t need to fight with or against it and can just let it be.

We both totally believe this and it is so comforting when the human brain and the ego get started! Sandy sent me a text later that day that I still have. It says “Hey, I figured it out: if you’re me and I’m you, how could it upset me if you’ve found something you’ve been looking for? Love you.” Pretty amazing.

Within a few months, things were looking different. Eve stepped up her contact with me instead of pulling back as I thought she would considering her pregnancy. I committed to stay honest with myself, with Sandy, and to remain open. It amazed me that even during that time, as the pregnancy progressed, my feelings toward Eve still weren’t changing. I was feeling more attached to her and surer of my original feelings about her than ever.

Also, as ever, Sandy and I made sure the lines of communication stayed brutally wide open no matter how hard it got. I had started having these repeated thoughts and feelings, why can’t I just feel all these things for Sandy? I even said this to her once; after going on about how I just couldn’t let go of the feeling that Eve and I are supposed to be together. I looked at S and it just came out of my mouth – “God I wish I was saying these things to you instead.” I’m not sure how I have not broken her heart.

Fast forward to now, Eve’s baby is about 6 months old, she and her husband are separated, and we are slowly and carefully seeing each other, dating. She is going through a LOT right now so we are not rushing, but she tells me she feels exactly for me what I’ve always told her I feel for her. We talk about a future together, growing old together. We spend as much time together as we can. I know I should be thrilled, I should be jumping for joy! I actually have what I had wanted for so long and what I thought I could never have.

With Sandy, the intimate and physical side of us is something we have not entertained in a long time. That was basically taken off the table (mutually) right around the time I was opening up to Sandy about Eve. I will reiterate mutually – obviously, I’m a guy, and my attraction to Sandy has never changed especially after knowing how it is to be with her that way, but I care about and respect her way too much to let those desires threaten what we have between us. It’s already a miracle that we still have the closeness that we do. She is my best friend. I am as certain as ever that she is the other half of my soul and I am hers.

There is just something nagging at me, seeds of doubt. I tell myself that it’s because of how things happened. I sometimes worry that somehow I ended up convincing Eve to fall for me.

But there have also been times when I get a certain, particular feeling. It happens when I am thinking or talking about how Eve is “IT”, she is “My Person,” the one I’m supposed to end up with. It is like a little nudge, a little pang of guilt almost. I know what it is. It is my guide(s) energetically elbowing me. I sense that they are telling me, “Hey, do what you want, free will and all. But you already know, it is really Sandy.”

So that is my story. Wow, it feels good to get this all out.

Soul mates, karmic soul connections, twin flames, divine love. I just wish I could make sense of this. But the things I know do not seem to paint a clear picture. I know that I dreamt for years of “My Person,” the emotions of the dream never left any doubt that I was with a deep, soul-level love there. I know that when I met her, I knew immediately that Eve was the person from my dream, and that I essentially fell in love with her before I even really knew her (as a result of recognizing her from my dream I suppose).

I know that there is something absolutely unique and incredibly strong with Sandy. I know that before Sandy, I never even imagined this combination of calmness, connection, soul-level love, and attraction could exist with one person.

What gives? Your thoughts and insights would be immensely appreciated. Thank you in advance for any and all wisdom.

Complicated story but I think Sandy is the one. If you don’t fear connection and growth then go for Sandy.

Though twin soul flame relationships are not for the faint hearted and produce a harvest of healing and internal purification. It is up to you.

If you are looking for wining and dining then go for Eve but for spiritual growth, mission, self, soul and life purpose etc., go for Eve. With Eve you will accomplish your mission on earth. You will have enough time to discover and give back to planet earth on your own. You will develop self-love and self-discovery.

Judging from your failed relationships you don’t need a soulmate but a twin flame. Don’t repeat the same mistake again. You didn’t see the face of the woman in your dream. Seek guidance from above. Rather choose a challenging a relationship that teaches you the purpose of unconditional love than a comfortable relationship without any growth.

Sandy will always love you no matter what. But Eve took time to develop feelings for you. Real love and real connection is important.

Wow, what an interesting and complicated story, thank you for sharing. I am in a similar situation, however I am probably the Sandy from your story.

I found an intense, deep love with the man that I believe is my twin flame, however there is another person in the picture that he also got to know around the same time that he also has very strong feelings for.

I don’t know that there is a right answer or a winning solution here, either way it sounds like you’re going to feel like you’re missing out on a deep love with someone.

I think it is remarkable that Sandy has that type of unconditional love for you (that is also how I feel for my love, maybe I am biased 🙂 but, I think if we’re talking about forever here, you want the person that loves you through and through, down to your core, down to your soul.

I think if you keep asking and praying for guidance you will get it. I suspect your guides may have been trying to guide you when Eve became pregnant, but the truth always reveals itself eventually. Best of luck!

I’m in the same situation. But I do know who’s who. In your case, I would say you still have some karma and lessons to learn from one of them. Eventually, you will know why life has taken you through this path.

Check with a psychic. But still, even when you get to know who is who, your heart will guide thru this process and even if you decide to skip one single step, you will be taken back until you get over with it.

I knew, way before, I was meant to meet my twin flame and a soulmate. I did my best to avoid meeting the second one, but boy! The more I prevented it, the faster it happened. I have a decision to make. I love them both in a way, that picking one, although I know who is who HURTS!! I’m feeling like a mother choosing between 2 of her children. They are both great men, beautiful human beings. But the reality is that my soul mate is more available for commitment than my twin flame. I don’t want to break any of their hearts. I can’t pick one; I guess I will just flow for now. Amazingly, they both love me; this is hard.

The more I think about it, the harder it becomes. I will let my heart do its job, my soul knows, but my mind is scared.