Well what can i say? No one knows how pissed i am right now, no one. I actually put my trust in our fucking great nation to make to make things right, and you know what? The nation once again shit on me, a big fucking terd right on my face with middle initial W. You know what!? Fuck America! Fuck it, from now on i dont support america one fucking bit. I hope america gets swallowed by the ocean, and takes all the inbreds with it. One fucking state could have made a diffrence, one fucking state! Thats my great state, the fucking state of O fucking hio.....god dammit....i want to rip off everylast bush fans head and dropkick it. They have condemed a whole fucking country, they basically just commited genocide on americans. GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!.......................................I fucking hate, and I emphasise the word hate, George W. Bush. If he choked and died i still wouldnt be happy, because then Fucking dick Cheney would be president and thats just as bad, and if we kill him the speaker of the house is next, guess what? hes a douche too. Something in my life is missing, the feeling that i really can make a diffrence, because no matter how hard i fight for something its always just barely from my grasp, and i fucking hate it, so much. Why cant one fucking thing just be good!? ONE FUCKING THING!......

well i havent updated in a while, ive been busy with school....yeah school, the thing i suck at more than life. I've also been busy with a new band, and you dont know how much of a plus that is for me, i could shout it out right now. Been busy with my emotions too, last weekened some shit went down, Heather got pissed, but in the end she showed some maturity, i just hope she doesnt do anything stupid. Now i know that people do read this,*Chelsea*, Im going to stay away from getting too personal now (but if i did it would be good things:). Let me tell you that will be hard, because when i start to let things out they flood out. Like now, im typing and i just cant stop and im about to say something im going to regret in three, two, one.....hah, j/k. I think i am just going to withdraw from my classes and start over fresh, the only problem is that i hope that doesnt forefit my finicial aid....well i meet with a counslor next tuesday, so they are smart, I'll tell them to figure out my life for me. Well thats all for now.

aahhh today was grand! I have my music back!!! Me and 2 friends started a band and now things are gonn be looking up, i missed music more than i've ever missed anyone or anything!!! Now i can couple jeremys basic drum beats, brians hard rock guitar lines with my melodic bass playing and soul tearing emo lyrics. Man i love music, more than everything. Its always been there for me and i know it will always be ther ein the future. Well im spent

ahhh...heather, heather, heather. You hurt me a lot and i can forgive but not forget. I've lost a lot of feelings for you and now you want to talk again and say you still have feelings for me? well i say no. I say reap what you sow and fuck off. So will i still talk to her?....yeah...im not completely cold hearted.

well ive been going to school and stuff...yep. i might have a job as a waiter at frische's. my friend came over today to play jam, but he so lost his edge on the guitar....poor jeremy. i miss my band so much, we fell apart because of me and now there is no turning back....maybe i can find some new people to play with, i just miss music period.

Well i did the pot again, i was clean for a year and a half. yeah things are going good on all ends except two, money; im so fucking broke and ex; she called me and i didnt answer...she wants to talk to me like friends but she broke my heart and i think i hate her, so i doubt ill even speak a sentence. Man im starting to like this other girl, so thats a huge plus too...now if i can come up with some money!!!! well im spent, see ya.