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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Losing someone close to you really really hurts. And I might want to express my feelings and grief onto this blog, so let me be. I am really depressed. REALLY. And every time I would think of her, it saddens me because I won't be able to see her again.

Ever... again.

One of my closest friends, Princess Angob, passed away yesterday, November 27, 2013. She left the world at a very young age. And as I would remember her, the words " hyper", "energetic", "noisy", "funny", "random", etc. and all the synonyms of those words, would pop out in my mind. She would keep things at her own pace, mostly in a bad way and it sometimes annoys and pisses me off. But that's her, and I accept her as who she is. And I definitely won't change her.

No wonder I didn't have the appetite for lunch yesterday before noon. She passed away at that time. After work, I received a text message from a friend while I was getting my things from my locker, stating " Cess is gone. :C ". I just stood there. Stunned. Shocked. In total disbelief of what I had just read. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I replied to the message as I hurriedly drove home. I want to see it for myself. To see is to believe, as the saying goes. As I cruised over her Facebook profile, wall posts of " R.I.P."s, " Thanks Cess for everything...", sad messages like those, consumed me. I also read a status from her brother about her passing. " Even though we've fought a lot of times, and mostly because of misunderstandings, I will always love you my little sister. R.I.P. Princess Angob". All of a sudden, a flashback of our memories together and a giant feeling of pain suddenly overwhelmed me at that instant and tears suddenly fell. I started crying. Sobbing. Calling out her name, hoping her spirit would hear me. Imagining that she's just standing there in front of me. Would see me in dismay. Letting her know how much she means to me.

We've shared problems, played countless Counter Strike games against each other, drink to our heart's content on silly matters such as love dilemmas and the like, and call each other insulting names as an endearment. But that's what our friendship was all about. It was true. It was magical. It was lovely.

She was such a strong girl. When I asked her how she's holding up when she heard the news about her illness, she answered " God has plans for me. You will always be my sweety, remember that. Don't worry. Everything's going to be alright. I'm strong just like you." What I didn't know was that ...

... those were her last words to me.

Reminiscing all the memories I have with her is all I can do now. She has gone to a place where I can't reach her. She left her family and her friends in the material world. And to where she is right now, I know she isn't suffering and is in the safest company. She is happy. With Him.

Losing her made me realize that life is easily lost. And you only get to live it once. First thing, you're hanging out with someone; laughing, having so much fun and the next thing you know, that person is gone. Just like that. In an instant. That quick. It's so painful. But what's more painful is that, she isn't there anymore. It's not like those moments wherein a person moves to another country. You'd still have means of communication, even if that person is on the other side of the world. This is different. She is permanently gone, and it breaks my heart. And as I am typing this now, I am sobbing.

My friend sent me Cess' mobile number and told me to send her my last message. She reassured me that Cess is REALLY going to read it. And so I did. Without a second thought. It is so ironic that I have so much to tell you, but life is really short. Really... really short. Remember our favorite quote: " Sweety, I'm blinded by the white light." We would say this every time you would throw a flash bomb at me in Counter Strike. Oh, those times. </3

Sweety, I really treasure our friendship. You are one of the greatest gifts that God gave me. You've let me experience new things and new feelings. I know you are in a very wonderful place right now, but I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I really really love you Sweety. If only I could feel your touch, see you smile, see you have fun while you're playing your guitar, hear you laugh and call out "Sweety" one more time... And also, would be given enough time to tell you one last message, I'd gladly accept.

If only.

-

Cess,

You were like a sister to me. My partner-in-crime against boys and their odds. My personal clown when I feel the blues.

And especially, you were my brightest ray of light during my darkest times.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Okay. I just want blog.com's interface to be back to normal. -_-' It's really getting on my nerves. I know that I have a cheating way of posting new ones; but heck, I want the normal way of things.

Anyway, made this blog post just to check if photos will appear once published because as far as I can see it, it doesn't show here in the "New Post" page. I may sound like I'm ranting, and a small part of me is, and I want you to ignore that part of me. ;_; *cries in the corner*

Anyway, random photos, here goes:

These are some of my favorite shots from different photographers in deviantart.

I hope this goes published and seen.

P.S. I have an engagement shoot scheduled this December. I simply cannot wait! Yaaaaay for opportunities. :D

Saturday, November 16, 2013

I haven't been able to post anything new right now because blog.com's annoying maintenance is up again. The header interface won't let me log in. And it's been down for a week now. I just managed to post this through some cheating magic I found online from a fellow blogger.

I hope they can manage to fix this soon. I've sent this site's team a ticket regarding this matter but so far, no response.

If this keeps up, this would leave me no choice but to transfer to another blogging site. This site's server is always down. Can anyone recommend me some blogging sites that aren't always down? Lol! The one thing I love about this site is that it has only one word connected to your domain name. Ex. mausarcon.BLOG.com. Simple and short. Not like other blogging sites.

Well, I like simple and short.

So to say, to sum things up, I may be in a bit of hiatus right now because of what this site is facing. The bloggers of this site, have been complaining. LOTS. I hope this site's team would address this matter ASAP.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

This will be a quick post. Yolanda has just left the country's area of responsibility and that one line just filled the scared hearts of Filipinos with relief. Although its passing is gone, this destructive typhoon placed under Category 5, has left the country in ruins. Unlike the 7.2 magnitude earthquake last October 15, 2013; we had time to prepare for this Super Typhoon. I was thinking to myself that since we had that justified time, there will be no casualties at all but I was wrong.

In its wake, Yolanda has already left 3 people dead in Masbate, Zamboanga and Surigao del Sur, 7 injured and 145, 641 families affected in 581 evacuation centers, according to the National Disaster Risk Reduction Management Council (NDRMMC).

The two fatalities from Masbate and Surigao del Sur were eletrocuted after toppled electric posts fell on the, while one died in Zamboanga after he was struck by lightning, NDRMMC reported. - Yahoo

Philippines is lucky enough to survive through this turmoil. We were given time to get ready. That was our luck, I guess. Thanks to PAG-ASA for the foretold warning.

Now, here are some heart-breaking photos of Yolanda.

My prayers are with the Philippines. We have encountered destruction after destruction because of the Pacific Rim. First the earthquake, next was the Tornado that hit Cebu, and now this. Philippines is a strong country. I know my fellow countrymen won't give up hope despite all the natural disasters we have encountered and will stand up as a country once again.

#StayStrongPH

MS.

P.S. We are still experiencing a black out in my area. So I was able to blog about this at work since the power's out since yesterday morning up until now in my place. I hope the electricity will be back anytime soon. I saw a toppled electricity post on my way to work and I'm pretty sure that was the reason for the black out. I hope the VECO will be able to fix it within this day. :(

Friday, November 8, 2013

From what I mentioned earlier from my previous blog post about me having a very sexy thing for portraits, today's feature would be on my second photography project.

BTS of this blog will follow. Didn't take a lot of BTS pictures on this one. Mac was too busy shopping online. Lol! Anyway, this was just a small shoot - y'know, just to practice myself.

I edited and published the photos a week later after the shoot. There are two reasons for the delay. First, I wasn't feeling well the day after the said shoot and three days later, I was brought to the nearest hospital's emergency room. Second, I didn't have any editing programs that would read a RAW file. And after days and days of searching the wonders of Google, I finally found one.

I amazed myself on this one. How did I manage to edit this so professionally? Lol!

I have a sucker's talent at editing photos. Ugh! I need to improve. I need to do more shoots. I am currently saving up for another camera body and some portrait lenses and I really want someone to teach me the basics of photo-editing. Photoshop is such a complicated and sophisticated program. Note: Just so you know, I didn't use Adobe Photoshop for editing these photos nor did I use Lightroom.

Gave this blog the title of " Shine Bright Like A Starr" because Starr was, well, so bright at that time. Haha. She has this very cute laughter that makes you want to cuddle her and the way she was emitting her yellow aura was beyond giddy. ( Yes, people. I can see auras). And what I love about her was that no matter how tired she was for putting up with this project of mine, she still had the energy to continue. Thanks Starr. xoxo

Saturday, November 2, 2013

What do you get when you suddenly change hobbies? Other than ideas on telling yourself to get better on that certain field, there are certain sacrifices that have to be made. My last cosplay was still back in March this year, and take this, think about the months of hiatus. People have been telling me on Facebook that they haven't seen me in the cosplay community. For that, I can give you two reasons. First, for some reason, every single event is held on a Saturday. And I have work on Saturdays so no can do. I just can't file a leave whenever there is an event. That would leave me penniless. Lol! Second, I don't have the resources to cosplay ( money, time, etc.). Whether I like it or not, these are inevitable. Despite the reasons in my list, I am only going to give you two. Other reasons, well, may be a bit too personal.

But hey, despite my long hiatus in the cosplay community, I have been keeping myself busy with a new hobby. Photography. That's right. You read it right. I still remember my first post as a blogger; telling myself how I wanted to become a photographer. Let's just call myself as a "photographer-wanna-be". I am not worthy to be be called as a photographer compared to all the professionals out there. That would be unfair. Anyway, if you want to read my first blog post, you can do so here.

This year has been good to me. So many positive happenings and the like. I got to have my very own first DSLR bought with my own savings. So yeah, if you've read my first blog post, you would know what I'm currently talking about. When I first laid my hands on this baby of mine, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't figure things out, for example, the shutter speed, the ISO, the exposure etc etc. And I know, to become a photographer, you'd have to eventually learn of these things. So during my free time at work, I would google away all the possible answers I could get. Google surprises you in mysterious ways. <3

I've done two shoots so far. I have a very sexy thing for portraits. I don't know why but I know it's a calling. But for this blog post, I am going to have more emphasis on the first shoot I had which I entitled as the " Two of Us". A couple shoot of famous Cebuana Fashion Blogger Kryz Uy and her boyfriend inspired me to have one. The photos are enchanting. And the photographer was able to catch every moment of it. If you want to check the photos of their shoot, do so here. So thus, the idea of me having a couple shoot as my very first photography project was born.

It was a bright cloudy day and I know, that didn't even make sense because we all know the word cloudy usually means "dark". I was having a hard time figuring my camera out. Photoshop is such a complicated program. It takes absolutely god given talent for you to be good at it. Anyway, what I did wrong was I set my camera to JPEG format instead of RAW ( have mercy on the photographer-wanna-be-that-didn't-do-her-homework-beforehand). So please forgive the photos if they are too pixelated and grainy in your liking. I edited these photos amateurishly using some editing programs I found online.

I would like to thank Kimberly Lavarez and Mico Sato for making this shoot a success and for acting professional all throughout the shoot. Also to Marjorie Bongbong, for sticking with us and for pampering Kim's face. Also thanks to Ray Franchis Patalinghug ang Mark Alud Villamor for teaching me the ways of photography. I couldn't have done it without you guys. Thanks for putting up with me and my selfish requests. <3 Lablab.