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In a candid and ultimately uplifting memoir, international swimming star Amanda Beard reveals the truth about coming of age in the Olympic spotlight, the demons she battled along the way, and the newfound happiness that has proved to be her greatest victory.

In this candid and ultimately uplifting memoir, Olympic medalist Amanda Beard reveals the truth about coming of age in the spotlight, the demons she battled along the way, and the newfound happiness that has proved to be her greatest victory.

At the tender age of fourteen, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet.

Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile. With no other outlet for her feelings besides the pool, Amanda expressed her emotions through self-destructive behavior. In her late teens and twenties, she became bulimic, abused drugs and alcohol, and started cutting herself.

Her low self-esteem led to toxic relationships with high-profile men in the sports world. No one, not even her own parents and friends, knew about the turmoil she was going through. Only when she met her future husband, who discovered her cutting herself, did Amanda realize she needed help.

Through her renewed faith in herself; the love of her family; and finally the birth of her baby boy, Blaise, Amanda has transformed her life. In these pages, she speaks frankly about her struggles with depression, the pressures to be thin, and the unhealthy relationships she confused for love. In the Water They Can’t See You Cry is a raw, compelling story of a woman who gained the strength to live as bravely out of the water as she did in it.

Top customer reviews

I'd recommend this book to readers who are specifically interested in Amanda Beard's experience as a competitive swimmer. It focused on highlights, and was not as comprehensive as I would have liked. I thought it would have more about competitive swimming in general, but it was very focused on her specific experience.

From the outside, it appeared that Amanda Beard had it all...who can forget the 14 year old in Atlanta with the teddy bear.

Looks can be deceiving: this book is about the pain behind a megawatt smile of a champion. It's BRUTALLY honest and difficult to read because it's so unvarnished but Amanda and her co-author, Rebecca Paly, deserve credit and gratitude from readers for being SO candid and telling an emotional story of pain, depression, torment and ultimately redemption and bliss.

As a "victim" of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and borderline depression, I found immeasurable comfort in knowing that a TOP NOTCH athlete like Amanda could overcome her "demons" and not just function but ultimately THRIVE!

This book is engaging, difficult and HONEST and I could not recommend it more highly!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. My maiden name is Kathleen Kelly and I went to high school with Amanda's parents where her grandfather, Ray Beard, was our school principal. My sister, Karen, was in her mother's class. Amanda is a beautiful and brave woman who shared an experience that I'm sure many people can benefit from. I wish for Amanda and her family only the best that life has to offer. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your story.

A very real account of the amount of pressure placed on teens, especially young teenage girls. In striving for perfection these girls often turn on themselves with negative behavior such as cutting and bulimia. Thank you to Amanda for being honest and getting the help you needed to overcome obstacles blocking your development into a mature adult and mother.

I, like so many, remember Amanda Beard as the little 14 year old pixie that wowed us in Atlanta. She is clearly not that same 14 year old anymore but throughout this book I found myself rooting for her all the same. Well written and thoughtful, this book is a must for any swimming fan or, for that matter, anyone who has had obstacles to overcome. Terrific book.