Cuckolding Is An Expression Of Love

Cuckolding is often seen from the outside as simply a casual sex opportunity, but to truly enjoy it as a lifestyle, couples need to explore the mental and emotional aspects of enabling other males to have a sexual role in the marriage.

Cuckolding takes the foundation of a stable, loving marriage and extends it to include one or more males to play a specific, sexual role within the marriage.

A Loving, Erotic Lifestyle

The image above is an excellent example of a loving, cuckold marriage dynamic. Wife, husband, lover are all involved. The wife is being touched, reassured and pleased by both her men and in return, is pleasing them both – just in different ways.

Wives become hotwives and are empowered to embrace life as a more sexual being

Wives commit themselves sexually to superior lovers, with their husband’s support

This seems counterintuitive, but when a couple can capitalize on something that divides most couples, they become much stronger. For many couples, both partners seek an experience they can’t find between the two of them.

When the love & companionship components of the marriage are fully satisfying, but the sexual component isn’t, it makes little sense to give up a great relationship simply to enjoy better sex. It also makes little sense to give up enjoying a fulfilling sexual experience when you have the foundation needed to have it all.

If you’re reading this site for the first time and your husband/wife has just recently began sharing this idea with you, or perhaps it’s a long-lived fantasy only now receiving renewed attention, please continue reading.

Cuckolding takes what is perceived as the largest threat to a marriage and turns it into something that binds a couple closer together.

First, please understand and appreciate that for one spouse to bring this idea up to the other is an expression of love and trust. As skeptical as you might naturally be, I will take it as a positive sign that you are here to learn more.

Second, take it from a man who has been directly involved in this lifestyle as a Dom for over a decade now that done correctly, this lifestyle will bring a couple even closer emotionally than ever before – even for couples who already have a good relationship. Yes, it may sound strange at first that inviting another man into your marriage, and dare I say, inside the wife, will bring you closer, it’s true.

Why / How Cuckolding Isn’t Cheating

In short: Cheating is a violation of trust; cuckolding is an expansion and exploration of trust.

Cheating is so destructive because of the secrecy. Without being involved and aware of what’s going on, the husband is left feeling nothing but fear and potential loss. This is not the case with cuckolding. Husband and wife should share everything regarding this experience. When this is done within a loving, trusting marriage, the husband can focus on the erotic elements of such an adventure with his wife instead of being overwhelmed with anger, fear and doubt.

Wives have a hard time with the idea of sharing so much about their experiences with someone else. Their instinct is to protect their husband from such details, but for several reasons, these detailed exchanges are the key to happy and successful cuckolding.

Things Aren’t Always What They Seem

In our society, religion has imposed behavior upon us which restricts intimacy to married couples. I reject this, obviously, but not necessarily out of disregard for religion but moreso out of respect for our biology which was formed long before religion decided our lives for us.

As I discuss in my article entitled“The Biology of Cuckolding”, as a species, we were wired very differently than we are expected to behave in contemporary society. This is one reason why this lifestyle can appeal to so many. At an instinctive level, polyamory is actually more natural than what we practice today. The odds are actually pretty high that one of you neighbors has or is interested in one or more aspects of cuckolding.

Humans being the complex animals we are, there are also other factors at play. Most of these are mental and emotional components that relate to our basic biology, but are also related to social norms, taboos and expressions of dominance and submission (which are a natural part of the fabric of human existence).

It’s a Win-Win situation.

Most of the couples I’ve been involved with or coached loved each other and were very happy in their relationship, but were missing something. In most cases that was simple sexual fulfillment. It could be the husband has a small penis, lacks stamina or is simply not the assertive personality their wife fantasizes about giving herself to. Cuckolding allows this couple to experience greater sexual satisfaction while still enjoying the other aspects of their relationship. If you think about it, it’s much easier to find someone sexually compatible than someone compatible to share your life with, making this dynamic a natural fit for many couples who want their love and their sex to be fulfilling.

Tending To Your Marital Garden

While chatting with a couple of members, I was thinking off the cuff and used an analogy that seemed to have some potential for visualizing what cuckolding is:

Consider marriage a flower garden where each blossom represents the myriad things that a couple shares in their marital life:

children

family

friends

hobbies

finances

vacations

intimacy

These are all the things that bind a couple – give them common purpose and identity and already we have quite a few blossoms in the garden, but there’s one patch where nothing grows. You both know that something should be growing there, but you can easily see it’s not there.

This spot is often intimacy.

Couples may be emotionally intimate, yet physically unfulfilled for one reason or more and that flower will simply not grow. The couple tends to their other flowers and tries to pretend that one little bare patch doesn’t matter, but you always know it does. Many couples believe their only option is to enjoy their garden for what it already contains and try to be content. When a husband and wife work together to overcome this bare patch of soil, by including another male to provide new seed, so to speak, the seed planted becomes a blossom both spouses tend together, a blossom that joins the other elements which bind them as a couple. Not all flowers are perennials and as such, may require planting a new seed together every once in a while, but the true value of the flower isn’t the blossom itself, but tending to it together and having a complete garden.

Why do some husbands become so excited by the reality of another man having equal or greater sexual privileges with his wife? It all comes down to our biology.

It’s In The Genes “Humans were never designed/intended to be monogamous beings. Marriage is an institution thrust upon us by religion to help create order and law in a time when we sorely needed it as a species.”

The development of genetics as a tool of research has also shown that most if not all of the species of mammals who were thought to pair (and by assumption) mate for life, in fact only pair for life. Our social structure was originally based on small groups or communities where social ranking was established through ritual, combat and instinctive traits.

Much like the social organization of wolves, our ancestors had a rigid behavioral system tied to the individual’s social rank and the perceived social rank of those within their immediate group. The male who becomes recognized by his group as their leader, becomes the alpha male and in these social organizations, it is then his role to protect the ‘family’ and have first right or even singular right of procreation with the females. The remaining males instinctively support that right. The other males, the betas, have to compete with him for opportunities to have one of the females or try to catch a female when the alpha isn’t around to interfere. Wives, when first approached about the idea of being enjoyed by someone else, often first assume that the husband has lost interest in her for this to interest him. This is quite untrue and quite opposite of the truth. In fact, it is the wife’s appeal to him and others that fuels the erotic appeal of sharing her. Often starting with encouragement to dress sexier, the cuckold-to-be isn’t just wanting to enjoy her sexier look for himself, but instead, expressing his desire to experience the beta role by encouraging his wife to choose an alpha male for herself…and for their marriage.

Alpha, Beta and the Gammas Who Love Them

Cuckolds don’t always have a small penis, but having one simply makes the alpha’s inclusion more important. Males, be they human or otherwise, aren’t born as ‘alphas’. An alpha becomes such by being recognized as such by his social group. When a wife chooses another male for his sexual prowess or assertive attitude, he is ‘promoted’ to being an alpha male within that social group (marriage). On an instinctive level, the husband accepts his role supporting the coupling of his wife and her alpha male. That’s not to say there isn’t still jealousy and conflict over the situation, but all the cuckolds I’ve known have felt this arrangement felt ‘strangely natural’ once they became comfortable that the marriage is solid and rather than being replaced, he is simply part of an expanding ‘family’. Marriages experiencing this shift in roles and the ability to express themselves sexually in a more natural manner find much more to share in and intimacy will actually increase between cuckold and wife even as intimacy increases between the wife and her lover.

Partner Options Bring Role Options

Many of the qualities that make an alpha male appealing to women also make them less suitable as a marital partner, which leads back to why young women tend to date males doomed to disappoint them from a relationship standpoint – their role isn’t one of having a relationship – it’s a mating one. In time, most women will mature and beging to appreciate the men who are still attractive to them, but perhaps not as attractive as the males they dated when younger. These males are those who have a higher chance of being a good partner and father to potential children. Women accept the compromise of a good husband and less than ideal lover because it’s what we are told to accept in terms of a wife/husband marriage. In a cuckold marriage, the need for compromise doesn’t exist. A wife can enjoy the benefits, intimacy and support of a loving, supportive husband while inviting a lover into the marriage who matches her sexual needs much better. In this way, the couple becomes complete by more matching the biology that still runs our bodies despite what we’re taught to accept as our reality.

“A hotwife marries for love and companionship and cuckolds for pleasure!”

Physical Endowment Matters

“The size, shape and thickness of the male organ is a visual and physical turn-on for women because the characteristics of a cock play an important role in a male’s mating effectiveness.”

First, we’ll talk about the glans – the head of the cock. The more pronounced the head is as compared to the shaft, the more effective the corona, the ridge around the rim of the cock head, will be in removing any competitor’s semen inside the female he’s mating with.

Second, I’ll mention how length matters: if I plant my seed deeper than a competitor can reach, then my odds of successfully mating are much higher.

Third, thickness: studies have long tried to establish the purpose of female orgasm. Some theorize it aids in semen retention. Recently I read a study that suggested that female orgasm helps change the chemistry inside her, leaving it more accepting of that partner’s sperm, thereby helping the woman choose who her actual mate will be by who makes her orgasm.

I’m not saying that hotwives think consciously in this manner – quite the opposite – just as the desire to play a natural, beta role is often subconscious in a husband, the rules of attraction to certain males as a hotwife are also subconscious and based on our procreative instincts.

An enjoyable cuckolding environment is one where everyone involved receives the maximum benefit. For a cuckold couple with a steady bull or Dom, this means practicing cuckolding together.

In this article, I mainly address the wives who are already in a cuckolding relationship but do not yet include their husband directly as well as those wives who are curious or just starting to experience men outside your marriage with your husband’s encouragement.

In my view, cuckolding is most effective and enjoyable when practiced as a threesome. This means that for wives who are primarily having random hook-ups with different men or primarily meet their boyfriend away from the home are missing out on some of the best experiences in cuckolding.

Many couples new to the sharing lifestyle are initially very intimidated by the idea of a semi-steady relationship with a man outside the marriage. Emotionally it’s viewed as very risky, but honestly, if it’s that much of a risk, a couple shouldn’t even be thinking about doing this.

The reality is that a steady guy or a small stable of reliable companions for the wife is not only less risky in terms of physical and health safety, but is much more rewarding in terms of an experience. Don’t fear intimacy with your boyfriend – it’s healthy, within limits, and adds tremendously to the experience for everyone involved.

What if the boyfriend isn’t experienced with cuckold couples?

Many couples simply aren’t sure how to broach the topic of including the husband more directly. Most guys get skittish because they’re worried the husband wants inclusion sexually i.e. a threesome or some bi-sexual encounter and/or they are nervous about being watched. Simply knowing what their concerns are is half the battle.

Instead of meeting him out, have him pick you up so he can be introduced to your husband being present. He’ll see for himself that your cuckold has accepted a submissive role with regard to your dating simply by standing there wide-eyed and silent while you melt into your boyfriend’s arms for a long, sensuous kiss. You should, of course, give your husband a kiss goodbye before you leave and immediately reinforce with your boyfriend how sexy it was to kiss him in front of your husband.

During your dates, you should always make a point of discussing your husband and his reactions to your dating; detail how excited your husband gets watching you prepare for your date, for example, or explain how your shared fantasies have led you to this point. The more you discuss the details of this lifestyle with him, the more information he’ll have to work with mentally and be intrigued by.

Enjoying your boyfriend at home…

Next, invite him in for a few minutes before you leave on your date. Let him know beforehand this is what you want and let him know how much it turns you on to kiss him in front of your husband. He may not get it mentally just yet, but he can certainly identify with something that turns you on.

Another suggestion is to invite him for dinner at your place before you go out. This gives you an hour or more to openly discuss the lifestyle and extend the time the three of you are together.

Again, be openly flirtatious and intimate with him with your husband present. It’s suggested you give your cuckold small tasks to perform while you entertain your man. This isn’t just to keep him busy, but to demonstrate that you are the one in control, for now, when your boyfriend is present. Have your cuckold get drinks or hang up your boyfriend’s jacket, for example. When he returns, he should find you on your boyfriend’s lap or snuggled up to him on the couch, your hands playfully stroking the bulge of your boyfriend’s cock.

You will have to be a bit aggressive with an inexperienced guy, even an otherwise dominant one, until he becomes comfortable with the situation and gets his head around it. I know this can be a challenge for many wives unfamiliar with being the aggressor, but simply think of it as a game and force yourself a bit until it becomes a bit more natural. Once your boyfriend matures into a Dom, you will no longer be playing that role – except with your cuckold!

Think about calling your husband during your date and let your boyfriend listen as you tease your cuckold with a description of what’s going on.

Perhaps you’re in a restaurant still, having dinner, and you tease your husband with the knowledge that your boyfriend’s hand is on your bare thigh, under your skirt, just a couple inches from where he can’t be tonight

Call your husband from your boyfriend’s place – just imagine what you could tell him

This all lets your boyfriend understand the dynamics of cuckolding without having to deal with the tension of your husband being there, yet lets him directly see and feel how it turns you on to do it.

Before your next date, have your husband call your boyfriend and ask him what outfit he’d like you to wear for your date. Give your husband several options to mention – either whole outfits or even simply ask if he wants you to wear a skirt or a dress – anything to demonstrate to your boyfriend the authority you want him to have. As you do this more often, he’ll not only know better what clothing you have, but he’ll be much more comfortable being candid about his preferences.

One of your dates could be shopping. As much as men don’t enjoy shopping, they do when it’s for sexy outerwear and lingerie you try on for them while shopping. Yes, it would be humbling for your cuckold to be brought along, but also very erotic for him when he reflects on it and very empowering for your boyfriend. Imagine the stares, the giggles, the jealousy as other women watch you with two men – one obviously your husband and the one you’re most flirtatious with obviously not.

Eventually, picking you up at home and having dinner with you at home will lead to making out at home and going to bed without ever leaving the house. Dating is also still recommended, but sometimes you want to go out…and sometimes you just want to be fucked, don’t you?

At first your husband can watch the foreplay, the fondling, even as far as watching you fondle your lover’s cock through his pants or directly in your hands. You can direct him to help remove bits of clothing as your boyfriend wants more access to your body or simply let your cuckold watch as your boyfriend strips you of clothing.

You will have already told your boyfriend that your husband isn’t allowed in the bedroom when he’s there unless you call for him. Combined with previous demonstrations of his obedience to your directions when your boyfriend is present, your boyfriend will feel much less anxious taking you to bed with your husband still in the house.

At this point, you include your husband more by extending the foreplay you enjoy outside the bedroom; get naked for your boyfriend sooner, take foreplay well beyond petting all while your cuckold can be present.

Once this threshold is passed, your boyfriend will be quite comfortable in his position and will begin to enjoy asserting himself with you and your husband and may well be the one to call your husband into the bedroom to witness him entering you. This is particularly true if your boyfriend knows that your husband’s access to you sexually has been limited in preference to him.

In general, the term interracial, when used with cuckolding, most often refers to single black males enjoying white wives with their husband’s support and encouragement.

White Wife – Big Black Cock (BBC)

The contrast alone between a dark lover and a white wife can be an immense thrill for both the wife and her cuckold. For some couples, the taboo of interracial adds a significant element to the experience while for others, taboo isn’t much of an issue.

There’s no guarantee that the black suitor a wife is considering inviting inside her will have longer, thicker cock than her husband, as the stereotype of uniformly well-hung black males is just that – a myth, but the combination of contrast and size can provide more than just double the thrill for many couples.

Interracial is a niche within the cuckolding lifestyle where the only real difference is a couple’s preference or custom of choosing black lovers or Doms. Otherwise, progression of the lifestyle extends much the same as any cuckold relationship.

Due in part to the commonly accepted view of black sexual superiority ( a debate we can have elsewhere), blacks are expected to be dominant sexually and this is one component that many couples are looking for and one reason they sometimes gravitate to interracial. Unfortunately, blacks are no different in reality than any other racial group when it comes to the ratio of true Doms and many black males are really assertive bulls, but not a Dom.

Doms and bulls easily coexist; as a Dom, I have arranged for bulls for my sluts and/or couples because I find it an important experience for them and I rather enjoy being responsible for the cuckold’s wife going black and as you can imagine, it can be very powerful for the cuckold to watch (or be aware) of his wife going black at my order.

Size doesn’t matter.

Well, size isn’t immaterial, of course, but it’s not everything. Just as all blacks aren’t exceptionally hung, whites aren’t all less than average. Most cuckold husbands are of average size (6″) and many are even larger than that. Still, size alone cannot guarantee what a woman needs sexually. Even should her husband be full sized & possess the stamina needed, he still has a white penis between his legs and can never offer the experience going black can provide his wife. Many cuckolds to wives with a black cock preference find it easier to accept being limited or weaned from sex as it is apparent that no matter what they are capable of, they cannot offer her the cock she wants.

There are other aspects to be familiar with:

Dating

As much as we Doms and bulls enjoy showing off our sluts, the wives themselves often enjoy being the obviously married plaything for their dark bull. One way this is expressed is public dating where they can be openly playful and intmate as a couple.

Couples often assume that ‘dating’ is dangerous and leads to threatening levels of intimacy, but honestly, if your relationship can’t handle this type of intimacy, cuckolding isn’t for you. The truth is that there are fewer risks for a happy couple with a steady boyfriend than there are for the wife who is hooking up with random males you know very little about.

Dating is still a rush for the cuckold who should be included in the dating by helping prepare his wife for her date. This is an important intimacy for the couple to share prior to a date just as the sharing of details is following a date.

Dates aren’t always out though – in fact, more couples will entertain their bull at home than date. I actually encourage both as they are different experiences and have different positive experiences for both the cuckold and his wife. Still, any time arrangements are made and schedules set – it’s a date. As such, it’s the cuckold’s responsibility to help prepare his wife.

Black Owned

A woman is considered ‘owned’ when she – and her husband – have not only become submissive to the black Dom, but a further commitment to the lifestyle is made. Often the wife is required to dress and behave to communicate her preference for black males. It also often includes another term, “black only”, meaning she’s only allowed to take black cock inside her.

Imagine being told your wife is now black only. Without it even being said you kow that your penis is now obsolete. Often the cuckold has been largely weaned from intercourse as a natural progression of the lifestyle, but making it official that his constant erections will now never enter her where her bull or Dom does can be very intense for the cuckold.

It’s important to understand that sexually limiting or cutting off a cuckold is normal and can be very healthy for a cuckold relationship.

The physical intimacy shared during intercourse is easily replaced in numerous other ways and I often coach couples in that area. The physical release offered by sex is important and also had many substitutes, but for a cuckold it must be regulated to ensure his attention is focused on his wife and not on his own suffering appendage. That sacrifice is important to his role as a cuckold.

Breeding

Yes, the term refers to impregnation and the use of the term is intentional to imply a certain level of submission. We commonly use the breeding term with animals, but I caution you to not get caught up in that but rather to consider the submissive nature of the wife who is black owned and the submission of the husband who has accepted and supported this change to their marriage.

Of course I would never support or endorse such a thing being willfully done without full consent among everyone involved, but accidents do happen and the risk of interracial impregnation is very powerful for many women and their husbands.

For those couples who are black owned or those wives who choose to offer their Dom or boyfriend the ultimate intimacy, the anticipation, planning and ceremony surrounding the mating and impregnation of a white wife by her black mate is very erotic.

Some couples choose to allow the wife to couple with multiple black males so the father remains anonymous. This is too risky, in my opinion. Knowing who the father is can be important on several levels. Some couples will let nature choose and allow the semen of both lover and husband to compete for her womb. Other, more dedicated to the lifestyle will either purposely limit the cuckold’s access to intercourse while she is fertile, or as is the case in many interracial cuckolding marriages, the white husband will have already been largely weaned from being inside her, thereby ensuring his wife will carry only her lover’s child.

Many things have to be taken into account, but as with all things in life, ultimately anything is possible if you want it, plan for it and work toward it.

‘Denial’ is the overt application of decisions which limit or redefine a husband’s sexual privileges with his wife.

The practice of the various forms of denial can lead to increased physical and emotional intimacy for cuckold couples as well as a heightened experience for other males involved with the couple. They key isn’t just to limit the cuckold’s ability to have intercourse with his wife, but to channel that need into other forms of intimacy.

Context

In a general sense, couples want sex for for three reasons:

sexual release

physical and emotional intimacy

procreation

Release & Intimacy

For couples whose husband lacks the requisite stamina or cock to effectively satisfy his wife, intercourse is really only effective for sexual release and most often only for the husband. In such marriages, the majority of the intimacy comes during pillow talk or foreplay since the duration of intercourse is likely short, leaving the emotional intimacy not well satisfied either. When intercourse is no longer the default option to pursue enjoyment of these core experiences for couples, other avenues can open, avenues which aren’t limited in the same fashion as intercourse and therefore likely to be enjoyed for longer periods and provide greater intimacy and even pleasure.

Example: Many wives, though they desire intimacy with their husband, may shy away from arousing him because they know it’s likely to lead to him pursuing sex with her, which she knows, will only lead to her frustration. When a form of denial is in place, the wife no longer has that perspective because the sexual options for her husband are defined, freeing her to verbally and/or physically arouse him simply to enjoy the moment of intimacy. In this manner, the ‘frustration’ shifts from the wife to the husband, but you’ll hardly ever find a cuckold who doesn’t eagerly agree to enduring this type of frustration in order to enjoy increased intimacy with his wife.

Even among cuckold couples where intercourse is mutually satisfying, forms of denial can help make good sex great sex when structure is provided around when and how such couplings can take place. When a couple offers this authority to their Dom, it not only relieves the wife of the guilt that can come with her husband’s denial, but increase the bond between the couple and their Dom or boyfriend.

Procreation

For couples who have already had children and don’t plan on having more, it can be said that the husband’s penis has fulfilled it’s only necessary role if intercourse isn’t mutually enjoyable. His denial then, so that his wife may pursue more enjoyable intercourse separates the roles of mate and lover.

Denial Misconceptions

Why deny?

Denial creates opportunities for expressing and enjoying intimacy in other ways which ultimately allow for longer periods of intimacy and a deeper intensity to that intimacy both physically and emotionally.

Especially effective in situations where a wife has started dating someone on a regular basis, denial can be effective as a means of asserting or emphasizing the cuckold’s submission by restricting the sexual access to his wife that being her husband should impart.

Another reason a husband can find himself denied is to help him experience the frustration that his wife has experienced, often for many years, by being sexually unsatisfied. For husbands who are mouse-hung, lack the requisite stamina to get their wife to that sexual plateau or both, it’s appropriate that they discover for themselves how it feels to be aroused yet seldom satisfied through intercourse.

It is also erotic, as a Dom, to have this level of control within a marriage; to be able to dictate what forms of sexual intimacy a husband may indulge in and at what intervals, is very empowering. To be balls deep inside the cuckolds wife, in front of him, while being personally responsible for his denial of intercourse is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Attrition vs. Denial

It’s not uncommon for a husband to find himself either effectively sidelined by his wife once she becomes an active hotwife or for the husband to feel reluctant to seek sex being aware that what they bring to the table (bed, actually) isn’t what she needs. This is more a form of attrition than denial. In order to take full advantage of the emotional and physical benefits of denial, it needs to be made official even if it’s already in practice in an unspoken manner.

Methods For Managing Denial

There are multiple methods to use but they mainly fall into one of the categories below:

Permissive: the cuckold is required to obtain permission from her lover

Quotas: the cuckold is only allowed sex x times per Y; once he uses up his allotment, he remains chaste

Ratios: for ever X times she couples with her lover, the cuckold is allowed Y

Schedules: the cuckold has the opportunity (not guarantee) for sex on particular days of the week or certain holidays and anniversaries

Prerequisites: the wife may commit herself to only allowing cocks of a certain size inside her or may allow only black cock inside her, for example

These rules can be used individually or mixed to create the rule set most appropriate for a given couples needs. Such methods remove the wife’s responsibility for her husband’s denial, freeing her to enjoy and encourage other forms of intimacy with her cuckold while knowing precisely what his limits are.

Intimacy Options

Oral

Without the ‘distraction’ of intercourse, many options open for couples what otherwise would be missed. Most cuckolds’ wives are already familiar with their cuckold’s tongue – often their default sexual organ once it’s become apparent their penis is deficient. This tongue can now be leveraged at will by the wife without concern that he’ll want to then poke her with his inadequate penis. Even if she would likely enjoy said poking, denying it is a tangible extension of the roles of hotwife and cuckold. By denying the husband something custom says he’s due, you exercise his submission.

Teasing

Teasing & Denial is often used together for good reason: purposely exciting the cuckold then provides palpable opportunity to deny him. This is seen as cruel by some who have yet to experience it, but again, this is a method of exercising the dominant and submissive roles inherent in cuckold relationships. I teach wives to learn to enjoy their cuckold’s dangly bits as toys, available to be fondled, teased and left wanting as desired. Cuckold’s will eagerly submit their organs to this treatment as it provides purpose for their genitals and pleasure, despite the frustration that comes with it.

Teasing is something that can become part of the fabric of your cuckolding experience. Teasing can be physical, but it is also verbal. When you simply discuss the lifestyle or an impending date with a lover, intimacy is being experienced both physically and emotionally. When a cuckold helps you bathe and dress for a date, your discussions all fall under the ‘tease’ category. Given the time it takes for you to get ready, it’s safe to say this intimacy lasts far longer than intercourse with your cuckold ever did, right?

Getting Started

Often the simplest and most easily understood form of denial for an active cuckold couple is restricting the husband’s sexual access prior to a planned date or evening out where the wife might make a new friend. Some wives who fall under the ‘unsatisfied’ category, but aren’t yet active hotwives, find themselves establishing a form of denial by requiring their husband make good use of his tongue to bring her to bliss before they have their feeble ’4 minutes of glory’.

Denial can also be implemented as part of a ‘reward’ system for modifying a cuckold’s behavior; until he meets some specific obligation, he is denied the intimacy he most desires.

For couples actively involved with a lover, denial has significantly more value and meaning. Husbands will seldom actively invite their denial, but will respond to it with arousal when proposed or established. What form denial should take for a cuckold and his wife is very unique to their situation and needs. Most wives involved in a relationship with a lover take comfort in having him play a role in establishing her husband’s denial. This is a natural extension of the dynamics of cuckolding.

Cut Off

Being cut off can be temporary, semi-permanent or even permanent in some cases.

Being cut off temporarily can mean for a set period of time: a month, a year, or until some prerequisite is met

Being cut off semi-permanently can apply when the husband is denied for the duration of his wife’s relationship with her lover

For couples where the husband’s inability to please his wife, sex is more aptly described as masturbation using her body. In such cases, being cut off semi-permanently or permanently may be the natural choice for a hotwife actively dating.

For wives who have made aninterracial commitment, the decision to be black only may, by definition, retire her cuckold’s penis from intercourse

For couples practicing these forms of denial, it is even more important that the intimacy replacement mechanisms become part of the fabric of the marriage and lifestyle.

Hiding your lifestyle from the family (children) isn’t always the best idea.

We tend to think of cuckolding as something sexual and at the explicit level, it is, but at a more basic level, it’s really about friendships, trust and communication. These are values and skills all parents should impart on their kids. I’m certainly not advocating exposing children to sex acts, but having them aware that there’s another male who is a trusted part of the family can be positive for everyone.

What kids fear most is that something is wrong in the marriage and mom and dad might split up. When a wife is dating and getting properly fucked, it will change everything – for her and her husband; better moods, more tickling in the bedroom, so to speak, and kids notice that. They’ll also notice changes to her dress, changes to her behavior and schedule. You can still hide most of that, but it only takes one event – like overhearing a hushed phone call to assume the worst. This call could have been between husband and wife regarding her upcoming date, but the child wont know that and might simply assume she’s talking to someone she shouldn’t be.

Dating

With my first couple in this scenario, we hid everything very well, we thought. The wife would come meet me and we’d spend a couple hours at a club usually before going back to my place (some nights I’d have him dress her in nothing but lingerie and she’d come straight to my place). I’d usually get her home in a few hours, but sometimes got her home barely before the kids were up.

After about two months of this, her husband was getting anxious that he wasn’t involved. We talked a fair amount on the phone and online and I knew he wanted to be more involved. They got babysitters a few times so he could also come to my place, but that wasnt very often, so I started to pick her up at their place after the kids were in bed. I would inspect her in front of him; lift her skirt, check she was soft and smooth (and naked under her skirt) and sometimes make her go change if I didn’t approve of something he chose for her. By the time we left there’d be a big wet spot of pre-cum, or cuckold tears as I call it, showing in his sweat pants where his erection was bobbing around.

Busted

This was working well for another month or so and I was seeing her at least twice a week, but then they told me their daughter, who was 9 or 10, had started behaving a bit defiantly – definitely out of character. We talked about a lot of stuff – we were friends, too, not just Dom/couple, but when we saw a little face peering at her mother and me leaving one night from a guest bedroom window that faced the driveway, we knew we were ‘busted’ and then knew why she’d been acting funny.

Perception Works Both Ways

Here’s the thing though: it wasn’t seeing us together that had caused the anxiety – it was overhearing hushed conversations, hushed calls, seeing her mother’s much shorter dresses, skirts and new lingerie that made her worry mom was having an affair and was going to leave. It wasn’t even that she saw her mother wearing it – she saw it in the closet and in the laundry.

We almost called it off, but I convinced them to try something else instead to try and heal what happened rather than just avoid it and that next Saturday, I came over for BBQ and we all behaved like we’d been friends all our lives. We talked about it every day leading up to it to plan it out. My idea was to let the same powers of observation that brought her to fearing what was going on also show her it was ok and that her father was both aware and enjoyed my friendship with her mother (their son was oblivious being only 3).

That day and over several others that followed, their daughter saw for herself that I was their friend and that when her mother would kiss me at the door (like she would her husband and not like family), her father would just smile and tell me he was happy I could make it. When I put my arm around her with my fingers brushing the bottoms of her breasts to hug her to me I knew their daughter would watch her father for a reaction and when she saw only a positive one, she just went back to what she was playing with.

This way, without explaining anything, their daughter began to feel comfortable that things were just fine with mom and dad and she pretty much quit paying me any attention when I was there and she was, in fact, the first to refer to me as her mother’s boyfriend. I think she meant it rather innocently as in her mothers friend who is a boy, but it sure had the cuckold swollen in his sweatpants!

Dating – Openly

By that point we could date openly and the idea of her mom and I going out was just another item on the schedule like getting homework done before watching TV. I would sometimes stay overnight after bringing her home and the eldest was surprised the first time, but didn’t really seem to care one way or the other to find me there in the morning.

I used this approach with another couple whose kids were slightly older right from the start and it worked very well – same pattern, same reaction.

I realize this might not work out for all couples, for all families, but as with many things, being open, without being explicit, can be the best option.

While allowing children to witness explicit sexual activity may not be appropriate, nudity is natural and such expressions of trust and familiarity between the wife and her lover, when the husband is present, speaks volumes without a single word needing to be spoken.

This is the ultimate desire for nearly all cuckold couples: the wife’s snug sex eagerly welcoming her lover’s bare cock.

For the bull, the desire to seat his cock fully inside her as he spurts is as instinctive as breathing

For the wife, feeling his unimpeded explosion is both an instinctive pleasure and a lifestyle pleasure by offering the most intimate pleasure to another man

For the cuckold, just knowing of, let alone witnessing a natural coupling between his wife and her lover will foster the most submissive of emotions

This simple, natural act holds even more meaning for everyone when the intimacy of penetration and/or internal orgasm has been denied to her cuckold.

Reality

Beyond the risk of pregnancy, such couplings contain the risk of sharing much more than DNA. This is, however, a risk that can be largely mitigated with three simple steps:

testing

commitments

Testing

Any male considering a role as a bull (or Dom) in a couple’s marriage, should eagerly and willingly consent to providing a recent, full STD panel. It should also be perfectly acceptable for the bull to require the same of the wife to be fair.

I understand that some couples will choose to trust the word of their bull and vice versa – as has happened with me and couples I’ve known, but to fully mitigate risk, test and commit.

Keep in mind that if either of you has had other partners recently, you will need to wait the requisite time following those unions to consider a test accurate. In other words, if either of you has had unprotected sex with another partner within the two week waiting period for some tests can detect the presence of things unwanted, I advise to wait the two weeks before even having the panel done. After the panel comes back clean and commitments are made, the real intimacy can be enjoyed.

Commitment

I’ve spoken before about the gift of exclusivity with a lover and how extended or indefinite commitments of sexual exclusivity between wife and lover can bring rich rewards for all involved, but another reason to consider such an agreement is to entice her lover into being equally committed. This way, as you move forward together, only their genitals will co-mingle, ensuring everyone’s continued good health.

Expanding The Stable

As long as any additional participants make the same commitments and follow the same procedures, there’s no reason the circle cannot be expanded. This allows the bull to also service other couples, but more importantly, allows the wife to add another lover or two to her stable to ensure variety and availability as needed.

Communication and procedure are key to ensuring the most dangerous risks are mitigated properly so reality and desire can coexist.

Proof Is In The Pudding

For many husbands, seeing the proof of his wife’s extramarital coupling in the form of her lover’s semen present inside her is an essential experience. For many wives, showing her husband that proof is also a thrill that cannot be easily reproduced by other means.

Being a witness to the sight of your wife’s swollen sex still obviously leaking the passion deposited there by her lover does not require that the cuckold interact with that pudding, but for those couples where doing so is an integral and intimate part of the experience, this testing is an absolute requirement, in my opinion.

Getting Tested

Getting your test through your usual doctor can be more of a violation of your lifestyle privacy than you’d like. Not having to deal with the questions, even unvoiced, about why you’d need such a test from your healthcare professionals is something most want to avoid and likely why more couples and bulls aren’t providing each other with this validation as they should.

I am in no way affiliated with this service, but it was recommended to me when researching options for testing and I have found it to be reasonably priced and much more easy to work with than using a ‘clinic’ or my own health care provider. Now go on – get tested and make commitments to your lover!

You know her boss sent you this picture of her as a reward for “…lending your wife” to him, as he gently put it, but he doesn’t realize how seeing this will also be your undoing. She does look stunning and you realize that thong is the last obstacle to him being inside her. Worse, or perhaps better, depending on where in the anxiety cycle you are, is knowing this is only the first day of a 5 day trip. It’s not her first trip on the plane, but her first as his mistress. This means that by now, he is the last one inside her – and he’ll be the next as well.

You already know the corporate jet doesn’t have couch seating, so you imagine her standing, her long legs wide apart while clutching the seat in front of her. He will stand behind her and enter and couple with her her still standing. That image alone makes it difficult not to spurt, doesn’t it? Even letting go and letting your penis twitch all by itself may not save you. You need to spurt, but you dread it. As soon as the last spurt dribbles out you’re going to look at this picture and feel your stomach knot and your penis shrivel as your cuckold anxiety starts winding up.

You’ve been struggling with this, as every cuckold does, since your wife first told you he was hitting on her – and you encouraged her to cock tease him. Having met him you knew she was attracted to him - you saw the chemistry between them, yet you encouraged the shorter skirts and the fitted blouses to better showcase her breasts.

It’s only been a few months since he called her bluff while she was in his office and ‘stole’ a kiss that turned to something more. She had her own taste of anxiety when she came home that night, knowing you’d ask about her day, knowing she’d have to tell you they had kissed. Before she even got to the point where kissing led to buttons being undone and hands slipping into clothing, you were inside her.

“I sucked his cock…” she whispered. You wanted to ask about it, ask about his cock, but that would have to wait until your orgasm subsided.

Now you’re shocked, humbled and yet still aroused. Even after your orgasm, the knowledge that she’s sucked his cock has kept you erect. And worse, she’s was then very aware of how this knowledge had affected you, but yet you were still overcome with curiosity and soon the coupling – and questions continued. It had been a long time since you managed two performances in an evening.

Yes, she’s always enjoyed the feeling of a man becoming erect in her mouth, but you dated her for months before getting to experience that, didn’t you? It could be his position of authority that compels her to orally service him, it could be the superior size and shape of his organ – or it could both. Right now, while you’re erect, that knowledge is terribly exciting, but once you give in and let yourself spurt, this knowledge will weaken you. Fear not: just as you cannot be the lover to her that he is, he cannot be the husband and cuckold for her that you are.

Following her first taste of his cock, he asked her to meet him for dinner the next evening, Saturday, and explained that if she didn’t show up, then he’d just assume this was a one time thing and they could just let it be. If she did show up, then it was assumed that she wanted a sexual relationship with him and he would pursue it as such. Many conversations and (short) couplings later, it was agreed she would go to him.

Saturday went by in a blur, then suddenly it seems – she was gone, leaving only the faint scent of her perfume lingering in the air. It was your turn to cry.

No more teasing ;he would truly know exquisite she is – inside and out.

But despite your tears and the knot in your stomach, you were also erect. Very erect. In fact, you had been erect much of the afternoon and especially while she got ready for their date. She wouldn’t let you fuck her Saturday, but she frequently placed her hand there, where your penis betrayed your desire to share her with him. Were it not for that, she would have called the whole thing off, but your penis was very truthful and reassuring for her. She couldn’t deny her attraction to him, but she wouldn’t do it against your wishes.

Your first cuckold orgasm came only minutes later as you imagined them making out during dinner. That’s not how it happened, but that’s how the cuckold mind works. As your semen drained, so did your spirits, the realization of your situation crashed into your consciousness.

Now, only a month since she became his mistress, you look at the picture he sent intending only to share the moment with you and your mind fills with countless erotic images of them together. So what will you do, cuckold, give in to the erotic experience of your wife being his mistress and suffer the anxiety that comes once you spurt – or continue to stay aroused by her – by them - and hold off that anxiety for yet another day…

Chapter 1

Introduction To The Cuckold Lifestyle

A good starting point for understanding the cuckold lifestyle is to go

through a number of frequently asked questions that most people who

are interested in this lifestyle normally have.

Who is a cuckold?

Historically a cuckold was a man who was married to an adulteress

wife. The dictionary defines a cuckold as “a man with an unfaithful

wife.” Cuckolding in this form is as old as the institution of marriage

itself. Traditionally a cuckold was an object of scorn among the

community and was looked upon as someone who could not satisfy his

wife’s sexual appetite. It is only in the last century that the term

cuckold has come to take a different meaning.

Today a cuckold can also be defined as “a man who initiates his wife’s

infidelity and gains pleasure from it.” Cuckolds are categorized under

two categories based on whether they initiate their woman’s infidelity

or not. Cuckolds are today classified as being either “original cuckolds”

or “modern cuckolds.” It is not necessary to be married to be a

cuckold. If a man is in a relationship and has an unfaithful girlfriend or

would like his girlfriend to be unfaithful then he too can be termed as a

cuckold

Origin of the term cuckold

No one is really sure about the exact origin of the term cuckold.

However there is a general consensus that the term probably

originates from the cuckoo bird. It has been confirmed that the female

species of the African Black Coucal which is a type of cuckoo bird

indulges in polyandry for breeding and then raises her subsequent

offspring with the help of just one particular male. Traditionally due to

lack of knowledge about and availability of contraceptives most of the

adulteress wives ended up conceiving children who they then raised

with the help of their husbands. Because of the close similarity

between the behavior of the early adulteress wives and the female

cuckoo birds it is probably correct that the term cuckold has originated

from the cuckoo bird.

History of cuckolding

Cuckolding has been present ever since the institution of marriage was

formed. However the earliest written trace of the word cuckold so far

only appears around 1250 under the Middle English derivation,

cokewold. Cuckolds were historically referred to as wearing horns

because of the fact that the men that were being cuckolded were

normally the last to know of their wives infidelities or in most cases

never realizing that they were cuckolds. The first recorded instant of a

man wanting his wife to cuckold him is traced to the Austrian writer

Leopold von Sacher-Masoch whose wife wrote that he would often ask,

beg or even threaten her to cuckold him so that he could experience

the pain and humiliation of the act.

Who is a wittol?

A wittol is a man who knows of and tolerates his wife’s infidelity.

However the word wittol is rarely used anymore and such a man is

now more commonly referred to as a cuckold. Nowadays a wittol is

more commonly used to refer to a foolish person without wits rather

than a man who knows of his wife’s infidelity.

Why does cuckolding develop as a fetish?

No one knows for sure why some men seek to be cuckolded. But

because of the early scorn, taboo and misconceptions on cuckolding

not enough research has been done to conclusively figure this desire

out. My take on it is that there may be a particular gene that is

responsible in part for men wanting to be cuckolded. I say this

because most of the cuckolds that I have interacted and coached have

admitted to having no clue as to why they want to be cuckolded other

than the fact that the idea of them being cuckolded is a strong sexual

fantasy with an uncontrollable desire to be realized.

Some of the men who have this fetish will also fantasize and get

turned on by the idea of female dominance, erotic humiliation, verbal

humiliation and voyeurism.

The desire for a cuckold relationship may actually have an evolutionary

theory as well. In the upcoming chapters, I will show you the reasons

behind the desires of cuckolds, cuckqueens and bulls.

What are the differences between an original and a modern

cuckold?

This has been answered in detail in the chapter “Types of Cuckolds”.

However the main difference is unlike an original cuckold, the modern

cuckold is one who initiates his woman’s infidelity while remaining

faithful to her. The modern cuckold is one who unexplainably has a

strong desire to realize his fantasy of his woman cuckolding him. If

you are reading this book to learn how to get your woman to willingly

want to cuckold you then you fall under the category of a modern

cuckold.

What is a woman who cuckolds her man known as?

Technically a woman who cuckolds her man should be termed as a

cuckoldress. But because cuckolding as a lifestyle has been around for

a long time many names have sprung up to describe such a woman. It

is widely accepted to term an unfaithful wife as a: Hot wife, Slut wife,

MILF, Cuckquean and the Queen of Spades. However in my experience

most women who enter the cuckold lifestyle don’t like to be termed as

slut wives or cuckqueans.

What is the general attitude today about cuckolding?

Unlike the middle ages, men with unfaithful wives are no longer

scorned at. This is because of the ever growing number of men and

women who now commit adultery. However due to ignorance of the

cuckold lifestyle and a lot of misconceptions on the topic a number of

people still consider this lifestyle as taboo. Due to this most couples

who indulge in the cuckold lifestyle prefer

to do so in a discreet manner. Most couples prefer to indulge in this

lifestyle only with people they fully trust.

Will my woman leave me if I get her to indulge in a cuckold

relationship?

This is one of the biggest doubts that men have when it comes to the

cuckold lifestyle. If you follow the techniques taught in this book and

you incorporate the traits of a “modern cuckold type” which I will teach

you later on, then there are absolutely no risks of your woman leaving

you. In fact your woman will only become more faithful and committed

to you. She will love you even more for understanding and letting her

fulfill her physical and psychological needs.

Hi Kole,

Thanks so much. About a week back I sat my wife

down and I confessed my desire of a cuckold lifestyle

to her. She wasn’t angry at all. We spoke about it and

she readily agreed to give it a try. She had a few

questions on the lifestyle but the stuff you taught in

the earlier chapters really helped me to clear her

doubts.

Thanks once again.

Philip Jones

Chapter Two

Why Women Cuckold Their Men

Women have been cuckolding their partners even before the institution

of marriage was formed. Right through the ages and right across

civilizations and different cultures have women cuckolded their men.

Cuckoldry isn’t limited to human beings only but it is also seen in the

animal world. In fact the very term cuckold is thought to have

originated from the African Black Coucal which is a type of cuckoo bird

that indulges in polyandry for breeding and then raises her subsequent

offspring with the help of just one particular male.

What I have said in the above two paragraphs suggests that women

are not only hardwired to cheat on their male partners since it has

continually happened over time and across civilizations and cultures

but also that the very act of cuckolding may have an evolutionary

purpose as it is also common in the animal world. I will explain both

these suggestions in detail in this chapter.

The first step to understanding the cuckold desires in women is to first

understand how women are hard wired. Women are instinctively hard

wired to first find a partner who they can depend on to take care of

them and their offspring.

Back in the prehistoric world finding a reliable partner was of utmost

importance to a woman. Back then a woman needed a man to look

after her and to make sure that her offspring survived. Back then they

were a lot of dangers that made it impossible for a woman to bring up

her children on her own. So nature hardwired into her to find a partner

that would be reliable and would be best able to provide for her and

her children.

The very feeling of love can be thought to have evolved due to this

hardwiring. Whenever a woman subconsciously finds a reliable partner

she falls in love and that is nature’s way of telling her that he may be

dependable. In order to be completely sure about the dependability of

her man, she will subconsciously run him through a series of tests and

challenges. Wannabe cuckolds can actually use these challenges to get

their women to willingly agree to the cuckold lifestyle.

It’s important to distinguish the feeling of love in a woman from a

feeling of attraction. When a woman feels love for a man she thinks

about settling down with him and what it would be like after marriage.

When a woman feels attraction for a man she feels intrigued by him

and in many cases would think of him from a sexual angle but not

necessarily think about marriage.

Fast forward to today’s world and it is now entirely possible for a

woman to have and raise her children on her own without the help of a

male partner. However since it is so hardwired in women to find a

reliable partner, women still instinctively look for reliable men as their

partners.

This explains why women will love to date bad boys or jerks but will

always prefer to settle down with good guys. It’s because good guys

are reliable and won’t leave them later on. It also explains why women

instinctively fall in love with very rich men if given a chance. It’s

because rich men can provide well for their offspring. All this happens

at a subconscious level and is the result of the way women are

hardwired.

Now comes the interesting part. While women are hardwired to fall in

love with reliable men who will be there to support them and their

children, women are biologically programmed to mate with a variety of

men. This seems odd but that is just the way nature intended it to be.

You see from nature’s point of view, a woman mating with a variety of

men makes sense as each subsequent child will have a different

genetic makeup. Also in prehistoric time with a lot of diseases going

around, having children of different genetic make up made sense for a

woman as that gave her the best chance of her genes surviving. This

hardwiring continues even till today.

“Women are biologically programmed to mate with a variety

of men. This seems odd but it’s just the way nature intended

it to be”

So how does all this play out in a typical relationship in today’s world.

Take any relationship scenario. When a man and woman first start

seeing each other, it is almost certain that the woman never feels the

feelings of love towards the man. What she feels is a level of attraction

and is perhaps intrigued to find out more about the man.

As time goes by she subconsciously puts the man through a series of

tests to see how reliable this man will be. Why does she do this?

Remember it’s because she wants to make sure that the man is

reliable and won’t ditch her later on. Like I said earlier, it is part of her hardwiring.

Now if the man proves to be reliable, she starts feeling the feelings of

love towards this man and they settle down into a relationship. As the

relationship progresses with time and the woman feels more secure,

her instincts of seeking out men with good genes will kick in.

Now thanks to our social fabric and the institution of marriage it is not

acceptable for a woman to seek out the best genes and mate with

other men other than her partner. However her drive to seek out the

best genes is so strong that a woman may even go against social

fabric and even risk her marriage in order to mate with a man who she

perceives to have a good set of genes.

This is why many men whose wives’ cuckolded them will tell you that it

happened at a time when they felt the relationship was strong and

secure. This is because when the relationship is at its strongest that

the drive to cheat with other men kicks in for a woman. Going by what

you read earlier this makes perfect sense as when the relationship is

at its strongest the woman feels secure that her partner loves her and

is really reliable and wont leave her. This is when her instincts to cheat

crop up.

So contrary to popular belief, when a woman cheats on her partner it

is not because she is immoral of that she doesn’t lover her husband

anymore. It is just the way women are hardwired that causes this

behavior.

There is a lot of smut that goes around that fuels the belief that

woman cuckold their partners because they are not satisfied in bed or

that they don’t love their partners anymore. While in some cases this

may be true in majority of cases it is because of what you just learnt

with regards to the way women are hardwired.

Most women who cuckold their partners will choose to cheat with men

who they perceive to have good genes. That is why these men are

often tall and strong as women perceive these traits to be signs of

good genes.

Women will also cheat with men who aren’t tall or strong but whose

personality shows signs of high emotional quotients. High E.Q is

perceived by women as a sign of good genes. Many men who women

will cheat with are jerks and bad boys as such men come across as

having good genes.

One important point to know is that many cuckolds have good genes

and high emotional quotients themselves but because women’s drive

for variety is so strong it causes them to cheat on their partners.

Chapter Review

♠ Women have been cuckolding men right through civilizations and

generations.

♠ Cuckoldry isn’t limited to humans only and can also be seen in the

animal world as well.

♠ The above point suggests that a woman cuckolding her man is

natural and may have an evolutionary purpose.

♠ Women are instinctively hardwired to find a partner who is reliable

and who will be able to provide for herself and her offspring.

♠ Women are also biologically programmed to mate with a variety of

men as this gives their offspring different genetic makeup.

♠ Women will cuckold their men with other men who they perceive to

have good genes. These men can be either physically strong or

perceived to have high emotional quotients.

Now that you know why women cuckold their men it is time to move

on to the next chapter and learn why men desire that their women

cuckold them with other men.

Chapter Three

Why so many men desire the cuckold lifestyle

In the previous pages you learnt why women cuckolded their men. You

learnt that women are hardwired to find reliable men as their partners

men agree that they are in the right than men reducing their body size

along with the head down gesture. Again remember that women

instinctively pick up body language cues so no need to over act on this

or any other gesture. A slight hunch with a light bow of the head is

good enough.

Widened eyes

This is one gesture that has to be used all the time when you are with

your woman. It is achieved by widening your eyes more than you

normally do. Occasionally widening your eyes and letting them appear

as if they are dilated is perceived as a courting gesture and sparks

attraction.

Continuously dilated pupils’ however makes you look like a baby and

hence signals your vulnerability and submissiveness and will end up

reducing the attraction feelings. Just widen your eyes a bit more than

you normally do and your woman will instinctively pick up that you are

being submissive.

Open Palms

The open palm gesture has the primary intent of showing submission

and is commonly used as a pleading gesture. People use this gesture

everyday when dealing with authority. In this gesture palms face

upwards with open fists while talking to the woman. This gesture

works best when used during an argument and not only does it convey

your submissiveness towards your woman but it also subconsciously

tells her that you think of her as an authority figure.

Submissive walking, seating and sleeping gestures

Most men are not aware that even the way they walk, sit and sleep

can help mentally convey to a woman their desire to be submissive

towards her. Unlike submissive body language, the walking, seating

and sleeping gestures can be used continuously throughout the

relationship without any fear of being classified as a looser chic

personality.

Walking gestures

The next time you are walking on the street or are in the mall take a

look at all the couples walking around you. Notice how majority of the

men are walking on the outer side of the woman? Men normally

subconsciously do this to protect the woman and to show the woman

that he is the stronger personality of the two.

Switching this around so that you are walking on her inner side has

the effect of her mentally classifying you as the weaker personality.

However in order for the walking gesture to have its desired affect you will have to employ it every time you and your woman are walking

until you have entered the cuckold lifestyle. Just occasionally adopting

this gesture will not achieve the desired effect.

Seating arrangements

Seating arrangements not only plays a role in establishing the

woman’s dominance in the relationship but also comes in handy when

you confess your desire to be cuckolded. One such sitting arrangement

involves letting your woman sit at the head of the table during meals.

Historically the man has always sat at the head of the table. Giving up

this seat to her will be perceived by her as you handing over control of

the relationship to her. For this arrangement to work it is important

that you’ll dine at a table and not the sofa. Also the table has to be

square or rectangular and not round.

Sleeping arrangements

Sleeping arrangements are a lot similar to walking arrangements but

might require a bit of preparation. First position your bed so that one

side directly touches the wall. Now when the bed is placed in such a

manner most couples would assume the sleeping arrangement where

the woman is sandwiched between the wall and the man.

This is a dominant protective gesture on the part of the man. However

for you to let her establish control in the relationship and mentally

prepare her to be receptive to the idea of a cuckold relationship you

will have to sleep so that you are sandwiched between her and the

wall.

Majority of the women love being sandwiched in and might not agree

to the sleeping arrangement but you will have to convince her to let

you sleep sandwiched between. This sleeping arrangement like all the

other gestures in this chapter helps convey to your woman your desire

to be submissive towards her.

Other Submissive gestures

Under this part of submissive body language you will learn how the

smallest of acts will help mentally prepare her to be receptive to the

idea of cuckolding you. You have to be consistent in performing these

gestures for them to take effect. Like the walking, seating and sleeping gestures and arrangements you can safely use these gestures through

out the relationship without fear of being classified as a looser chic

type of personality.

Woman on top position

Whenever you have sex with the woman that you seek to cuckold you,

make sure it is in the woman on top position. Try not to indulge in the

missionary position as it portrays dominance on the male’s part. The

woman on top position is a female dominant gesture.

If your woman is insistent on the missionary position tell her you have

picked up an injury and that the missionary position hurts your back.

If you do not know what these positions are you will have to look them

up on the internet.

Hand over control of the remote

Men always hog the remote control when watching television with a

woman. What you probably did not know is that men do this at a

subconscious level to show dominance over the woman. A great

submissive gesture is to let her slowly take control of the remote

control. When you hand over the remote you not only hand over

control of the television but you also subconsciously convey to her that

you would like her to take more control in the relationship. Let her pick

the channels she wants and go along watching those TV channels.

Serve her during meals

In most relationships the woman normally serves her man during

meals. Historically the man was the bread winner so serving a man

during meal times was a submissive gesture carried out on the

woman’s part. Now days this gesture has carried on even though most

women are independent. In some relationships the men and women

serve themselves during meal times. This shows that the woman

considers herself as an equal in the relationship.

In order to give her control of the relationship and appear submissive

you should start serving her during meal times. Initially this will

appear romantic and may spark attraction feelings but over time it

gives her the feeling of dominance. The key to this and all other

gestures is consistency in their application. Using these gestures

inconsistently will not help much.

For the purpose of keeping this book as short as possible I have given

only a few examples on other submissive gestures. As you start

putting them into practice you will find yourself figuring and applying

your own submissive gestures. Remember that submissive body

language is a very important part of getting your woman to willingly

agree to cuckold you.

If you are one of those men who are not too comfortable with

submissive body language remember that you only got to fake it until

your woman agrees to cuckold you.

Now let us get back to Jack and Jane and see how Jack is progressing.

You have already seen that Jack was very successful in applying the

“Challenge Technique” as well as picking up a fight with Jane and

quickly apologizing.

What I didn’t tell you back then was that Jack also made great use of

submissive body language when putting the earlier techniques in to

use. Like I said earlier, women have a great sense of intuition and

added to that they are naturals at reading body language cues.

Whether you are implementing the techniques taught to you in the

manual or you are confessing your desires of a cuckold lifestyle to your

woman, you will be served well if you can fake your body language to

come across as submissive to your partner.

Some men implement the techniques taught in this manual really well

but because they skip this chapter or because the do not bother to

fake their body language their women instinctively and intuitively pick

up that something doesn’t add up. Even if they don’t realize it at a

conscious level, you can be sure that women will subconsciously know

that something is not right and start to feel a bit weird when the

techniques are applied on them.

So when Jack picked the day to fight with Jane he made sure that he

was sending the right body signals at the right time. When he first

picked up the fight he had strong body language and made a fair

amount of eye contact. This subconsciously told Jane that Jack was

indeed angry. He needed to have strong positive body language while

picking up the fight or else Jane may have realized that something was

not right.

When Jack came back after a while, His body language was in stark

contrast to what it was when he had earlier picked up the fight. He

came back and made his apology and while he did make a little eye contact to show that the apology was genuine he also made sure his

head was slightly pointing downwards so as to come across as

submissive towards Jane. He also dilated his eyes and reduced his

body size by hunching slightly. While he tendered his apology to Jane

he made sure that his palms were open and facing skywards.

Whenever people make an apology, they usually adopt most of the

gestures that Jack faked when making his apology to Jane. Men don’t

normally notice these gestures because we aren’t very good at reading

body cues and signals but women definitely do. So when Jack made

his apology and all his body cues matched what he said then Jane

really believed that Jack was sorry and that gave her a sense of

control over the relationship.

Lisa Raymond:

Whenever a man picks up a fight with a woman the woman will always

try to gauge his body language. If his body language appears weak

while he fights then we intuitively know that the man can be conned

with a quick apology. Weak body language tells us that the man isn’t

serious about the fight but just needs his ego stroked. So we

immediately tender a quick apology and almost instantly the man will

calm down.

Women use fights as another way to challenge a man. We have learnt

that weak body language on a man’s part means that he isn’t really

serious about the fight and hence we don’t even bother challenging

him by fighting back.

Some women may not realize that they do this but a lot of us women

are actually conscious of this fact. If you have a really close friend of

the opposite sex you can ask her if she notices body language when

fighting with her husband or boyfriend. Then ask her if she can gauge

the level of his anger just by reading his body language cues. Most

women may not readily admit this point for fear of coming across as

manipulative but if the woman is very close to you then she should

give a smile and readily admit it.

So when Jack picked up a fight with Jane the first thing Jane did was

to try and gauge his body language. Had Jack not used positive body

language at that point, Jane would have realized he was not serious

about the fight and quickly tendered an apology to Jack. This would

have worked against Jack who was trying to implement a technique so

that he could come across as a provider personality.

The moment Jane realized that Jack was indeed serious about the fight

she instinctively took this as an opportunity to challenge Jack. This

behavior seems a bit odd but it is just the way women are

programmed to be. It is when Jack is angry that Jane gets to test his

temperament and thus his emotional quotient. She then uses this to

mentally draw conclusions on whether he is a weak or strong

personality.

When Jack came back and apologized to Jane, she would have first

looked at his body language cues to judge if his apology was fake or

genuine. The moment she realized that his body language was

submissive and matched his verbal apology she immediately felt in

control of the relationship. The moment she feels in control she

subconsciously starts to believe that Jack is a dependable mate and

reliable. We already know that once a woman feels that her mate is

dependable her attraction feelings towards him reduce and her

attraction feelings towards other men increase. All this is beneficial

when you are trying to get your woman to willingly agree to this

lifestyle.

Kole Raymond:

I think what Lisa just shared with you is enough evidence of how

important submissive body language is when you are trying to get

your woman to agree to a cuckold lifestyle. When I first developed the

techniques I knew that body language cues would play a big part if I

was to get my woman to agree to this lifestyle however I didn’t know

that they played such a big part and that women were so good at

reading these cues and signals.

Women will not only try to read your body language when you pick up

a fight with her but also when you try to use the “Challenge

Technique”. The reason I didn’t tell you this earlier is because I felt

this bit of information would have more value if presented to you

towards the end of this chapter rather than earlier on.

When you implement the “Challenge Technique” make sure your body

language is strong and positive when making the challenge to your

woman. If your body language comes across as strong, positive and

most importantly playful then you can be sure that the effect of

loosing the challenge will have a better effect on your woman.

Since women are designed to challenge men, even if you don’t pay much attention to your body language your woman will still readily

accept the challenge because this is how women are naturally

programmed. However I strongly recommend you use strong and

playful body language when making the challenge to your woman.

It is very important that when you loose the challenge that your body

language comes across as submissive and weak. You should try to use

the head down gesture as well as open palms and widened eyes.

Loosing the challenge and then exhibiting weak and submissive body

language towards your woman will cement your position as a reliable

mate and reduce her attraction towards you.

One by one start incorporating all the submissive gestures into your

relationship. Don’t rush it but instead one by one introduce one new

gesture at a time until all the gestures are being used in tandem. Once

again, if you aren’t too comfortable with submissive body signals just

remember that you only need to fake it till your woman cuckolds you.

Once you have successfully applied all the techniques that I have

taught you your woman will be ready to willingly agree to this lifestyle.

If you use all the techniques correctly then your woman will be

mentally receptive to the idea of a cuckold relationship.

Chapter 11

How To Confess Your Cuckold Desires

To Your Woman

Confessing your desire of a cuckold lifestyle to your woman can be

both daunting and scary. It would be a huge risk to do so without

implementing the techniques taught to you in this book first.

Confessing your desire for a cuckold relationship without implementing

the techniques taught could cost you your relationship. However if you

have successfully implemented all the ideas and techniques taught

then you yourself will be surprised at how receptive your woman will

be to the idea of a cuckold lifestyle.

It is important to understand how most men and women view

relationships. Men put a lot of emphasis on sex while women normally

put a lot of focus and attention on the relationship. Most men who

confess their desire to be cuckolded always make the mistake of only

explaining the sexual part of the cuckold lifestyle.

They directly tell their women that they would like them to sleep with

other men. This often results in the women not agreeing to be a part

of the cuckold lifestyle. In order to get your woman to agree to the

cuckold lifestyle you have to explain the lifestyle to her in detail and

make sure you put the emphasis on the growth of the relationship

rather than only the sexual act of it.

You have to make sure you have implemented all the techniques in

this book and that they are working. Many men apply only few of the

techniques before confessing their desire to be cuckolded only to have

their women say no.

I have spent a lot of time developing these techniques. These

techniques are designed to supplement each other to get your woman

to willingly agree to cuckold you. If you are serious in realizing your

desire to be cuckolded make sure that you implement all the

techniques taught to you.

Next you have to pick the right time to confess your desire for a

cuckold relationship Remember that timing is everything. Do not bring

up the topic when she is stressed out or if you’ll have recently had an

argument. Use your commonsense on this one. Some women are

more relaxed in the morning and some at night.

There is no hard and fast rule on this one. You know your woman the

best so pick a time when you think she is most relaxed. If you are not

sure then I suggest you observe her for a while and try to figure out at

which time she is normally most relaxed. Make sure you use

submissive body language when making your confession. You have

already learnt about submissive body language in an earlier chapter.

Many men email me asking if they should set up any particular

ambience before they confess their desire to be cuckolded. To be

honest I do not think that this is necessary. The reason being that if

you have successfully applied all the techniques taught in this book

then there is no need to do anything extra. However some men do

prefer to set up an ambience with candles and other stuff. If you think

that setting up an ambience will help then go ahead.

If you have correctly applied all the contents of this book then your

woman should either willingly agree to cuckold you or ask for a day or

so to think it over. Some women ask for time to think it over for fear

of looking sluttish if they agree straight away. Have patience because

when a woman asks for time she is most probably going to agree to

cuckold you.

Quick review of the steps to take before confessing your

desires of a cuckold lifestyle

Step 1:

Keep in mind how men and women view relationships. Remember to

be completely honest with your desires. Remember not to put the

emphasis on the sexual aspect of a cuckold lifestyle but rather on how

a cuckold lifestyle can help enhance the relationship.

Step 2:

Remember to use all the techniques before you confess your desire to

be cuckolded. Not using all the techniques may end up in your woman

not agreeing to cuckold you.

Step 3:

Timing is everything! Make sure you confess your desires to be

cuckolded at a time when your woman is normally calm and relaxed.

Step 4:

Do not forget to use the submissive body gestures that you learnt

earlier. Remember women instinctively pick up on body language cues.

Lisa Raymond:

You got to remember how women will feel when you make your

confession. Speaking from experience, if the techniques are applied

correctly the woman will be receptive to the idea however she will not

readily admit it for fear of looking slutty. It is at this point that you

have to be confident on the topic and clear any misconceptions that a

woman may have.

Focus on the relationship rather than on the sexual act of things. When

Kole first bought up the topic to me, I was very receptive to the idea

but I still had many doubts about the lifestyle. I asked a lot of

questions that night but seeing Kole so confident really helped me.

Kole also paid a lot of attention on the relationship and stressed how

this lifestyle would actually bring us together. Ten years later and I

can say that he was right as we have really become very close to each

other.

Chapter 12

Guidelines For A Healthy

Cuckold Relationship

Both partners should define boundaries.

Before indulging in the cuckold lifestyle it is very important that both

partners sit down and define boundaries that they are comfortable

with. Talk to each other and make sure that both of you know exactly

what is acceptable and what is not. Explain clearly to each other which

activities of the cuckold lifestyle you are comfortable with and which

activities you are not.

As long as any activity is mutually agreed too it will not cause any

damage to the relationship. Remember indulging in the cuckold

lifestyle without laying down clear boundaries can lead to one partner

getting hurt and it will end up causing damage to the relationship.

Make sure you are in compliance with the law.

Before indulging in the cuckold lifestyle do make sure that you are in

compliance with the local law. In some countries cuckoldry is illegal.

While most countries will not have a law specifically relating to

cuckoldry there will be laws in relation to adultery. Make sure that you

go through these laws first.

Make sure that you understand the law relating to adultery in your

country clearly. Some countries allow cuckoldry by definition of their

adultery laws. If cuckoldry is illegal in your country and you do go

ahead remember that you are doing so at your own risk.

Practice safe sex.

Like any other sexual encounter make sure that you practice safe sex.

Remember that there are a lot of diseases out there. Remember that

some of the sexually transmitted diseases do not even have a proper

cure yet. It is not worth getting infected just because you want to

indulge in your fantasies.

Make sure you use your common sense. If at all you decide that there

is a need to exchange body fluids then make sure that you are

absolutely certain of the other person’s health status. If in case you

are already infected then please make sure that you take precautions not to spread the disease to anyone else.

Choose the bull with care.

It is very important that you select the other man well. Make sure that

both you and your woman are comfortable with him. Most couples

choose a man that they already know and are comfortable with.

However if you do not know the bull make sure that you get to know

him before indulging in any sexual activity. Try to choose a bull that

fits into your strata of society. No matter how rich or poor you are

they will be bulls from the same section of society.

Only if both you and your partner are comfortable with him should you

go ahead. If you are not comfortable with him it is okay to say no.

Remember that there are a lot of guys who are willing to play the role

of a bull. Be patient and you will find one that both you and your

woman are comfortable with.

Take sufficient precautions

Make sure you take sufficient precautions before indulging in the

cuckold lifestyle. There are a lot of nasty people out there who pose as

bulls and will later turn around and try to blackmail you for money.

Other guys pose as bulls to try to make a quick buck by robbing you.

Make sure that cell phones and cameras are not allowed.

Always perform any sexual acts in the comforts of your home or a

place where you are sure of its safety. Remember in the previous point

I told you to choose a bull from your strata of society.

The most important thing is to have fun.

Remember that the most important thing is to enjoy the cuckold

lifestyle and have fun. I have found that when all the other guidelines

in this chapter are followed the cuckold lifestyle is both enjoyable and

fun for both partners. The man realizes his desire to be cuckolded. The

woman satisfies her biological need to have a variety of sexual

partners and the relationship blossoms.

Southwest Va. Socials takes no responsibility for the use or misuse of the information it presents. The reader is warned that this material presents extremely powerful techniques to be used at the readers own peril. The methods and concepts taught in this Education Information are for Reference and discussion between loving couples. Although the Information and Techniques work in the real world there is no guarantee that they will work in each and every situation for each and every couple.

Southwest Va. Socials unequivocally disclaims any risk or responsibility when the contents or techniques on this site are used in a manner resulting in loss, divorce or lawsuit or any other damages arising from the use of the contents contained herein.