Peggy Tanous’s footage is shown first, and she gets emotional about her bouts of postpartum depression and her suicidal thoughts. The first tear can barely get down her cheek before Alexis Bellino interrupts, “I had postpartum too!” Yes, Alexis one-upped postpartum. I swear, it was as if she was a first grader with her hand in the air yelling “Pick me, pick me!” to be line leader for the class. Every head on that set flips around to look at Alexis (even Gretchen looks shocked), as Andy has just shown several scenes where Alexis blatantly one-ups her “friend” Peggy. Peggy backs up Alexis and says that the two did speak about their experiences, but when Andy asks why Alexis didn’t feel the need to bring it up before now (perhaps last season?), Alexis shrugs it off, saying the topic didn’t come up then.

Finally. Part one of theReal Housewives of the Orange Countyreunion is upon us. I am almost embarrassed to admit how much I have been looking forward to this reunion. Not only does it signal the end of a (very long) season, but with these ladies (and I use that term loosely), there is sure to be some juicy drama. Right off the bat, there are two separate sofas, one for each clique. The legs are shinier and the fake hair is rampant, with each housewife looking more plastic than the next.

Host Andy Cohen starts things off with a tame round of questions. Am I the only one who doesn’t care how Alexis pronounces “Am Ex” or who doesn’t feel the need to watch her awkwardly define “couture” YET AGAIN? Vicki reveals that she and Brianna hate the word “vagina” and prefer to call them pink parts. Oh yes. That is much better. Get to the good stuff, please.

Andy plays a montage of Tamra and Eddie’s make-out moments, culminating with the infamous bathtub sex scene. Some of Tamra’s drama with Simon is highlighted, and she tells Andy that they are weeks away from having their divorce finalized. Alexis passive aggressively makes a dig about how well Tamra’s children will know Eddie once they see that scene. Not one to shy away from confrontation, Tamra admits that a court order keeps her children from watching Bravo, so “what are you getting at, Alexis?” Alexis tries to hold her own by saying that her four-year-old knows how to use a remote control so it’s possible for Tamra’s kids to see it without her knowledge. I half expected Peggy to jump in to say that her daughter learned how to work a remote control at age two. Still on the attack, Tamra reminds Alexis about how her kids fell into a pool while strapped into their stroller while mommy and daddy were taking shots. So, is she saying they are both up for Mother of the Year? And so it begins…

Did you grab your box of tissue? Prepared to shed a tear over the last episode of a season that has given you so much? Think about it…the bathtub porn, the bull-riding, the fashion shows (plural!), and the heartache. I am almost sad to see it all come to end…almost. The finale does not disappoint with all the Real Housewives of the OC (past and present!) coming together (and kicking some ass) at Vicki’s annual fall party.

“I realized Donn didn’t love me the way it takes to stay married…after I filed, I realized that.” As Vicki is getting ready for her party, she can’t stop the waterworks. Her poor make-up artist is applying Preparation H to her puffy eyes, while we learn that Vicki has filed for divorce and hasn’t spoken to Donn in over a week. He won’t return any of her calls or e-mails. From her previous statement, it almost sounds like she filed for divorce to get Donn’s attention and expected him to beg her not to leave him. I can’t blame ol’ Donn for not speaking to Vicki–he’s probably hurt and angry she did this while filming so it would be on the show!

Tamra and Eddie are back at the scene of the softcore porn, and shockingly there’s wine involved. Tamra is “shaking” because she’s nervous about seeing Jeana. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume she was already planning a confrontation that could potentially ruin her biffle Vicki’s shindig. No, Tamra would never do anything like that, would she?