So, as you know, did the naval battle, killed a cultist. But it took SO LONG to weaken the damn place as the fort was huge and the leader kept running and had bodyguards out the wazoo (doing EVERY conquest must take forever), so I didn’t have time to do anything else.

But hey, as a reward for killing that cultist, you get to reveal another cultist! Who has a boat. Yay.

But I started sailing towards the main quest, but, when close to an island, Barabas was all “That’s where my wife saw the witch!” so I pulled in there. I’ll do that next. How hard could it be?

Ha.

Feminina:

I did that island! With the witch! It’s interesting. And not actually that long or complicated. Do it! We’ll talk!

Because otherwise all I did was stuff on Mykonos and Delos that we can’t talk about. Though there are cultists. I have 8 out of 9 shards now! Actually, I should be psyched that I missed a naval battle, since it means I can go back for him and hopefully upgrade my damn spear soon. I have all these skills to upgrade that require the upgraded spear. I have ridiculous numbers of ability points stashed up for it.

Butch:

I shall! We shall!

And it’s right on the way to other stuff. Hooray!

Feminina:

So convenient! It’s going to be great. You’re gonna love it.

I will say, also, that dropping off that lady on Mykonos is a piece of cake, so you can get rid of that annoying diamond.

If you get involved in anything ELSE on Mykonos…

Though I can also advise you that if you get into the quest on Mykonos, romantic possibilities ensue. So if you’re in the mood for love, carry on.

Butch:

Oh, I already see the damn diamond. Right there. Gonna happen.

And “If.” What is this if? There is never if.

I got a lady in every port, dude.

Feminina:

You’re right, that was silly of me. “If.” Ha!

Butch:

You know we well enough.

So many options…..

Feminina:

Yeah. It’s just as well neither of us got tied down with one of those seductive brothers. We’re not ready for that level of commitment yet. We’re young, and there are so many islands to explore!

Butch:

Though I can hear Kassandra’s grandmother now…..

She could’ve had a doctor! A DOCTOR! I wanted my daughter to have married a doctor but NO. First a wolf, then pirates. Kassandra SO got my hopes up and now this. Poets, for heaven’s sake.

Feminina:

But the grandmother’s friends chime in with “maybe she’s just getting it out of her system! Yes, she’s running wild now, but once she’s slept her way through the Greek world, she’ll remember that handsome doctor and go back to settle down.”

Grandmother’s friends can afford to be optimistic. It’s not THEIR potential great-grandchildren we’re talking about, after all.

Butch:

Totally. Some things never change.

I gotta play.

Feminina:

Yes. Play. Go talk to the witch! I’m curious what you make of the witch.

And how was the Baked Bloatfly? Dude, you never reported back on that! The world needs to know!

Butch:

Actually, it was damn good. And vegan, for crissakes. You know me: if I’m saying vegan was damn good, it was damn good. You’d’ve liked it. Maybe the next time you come over.

I’m making venison from the Elder Scrolls cookbook tonight, which is not vegan.

Feminina:

I will so come over JUST for the baked bloatfly. And possibly the Stim-Pak.

Butch:

And the skooma. I got a recipe for skooma.

Feminina:

I’ll come for that. In fact, I’m already on my way. The knocking you’re about to hear at your door will be me, holding out an empty glass. “Please sir, I want some booze!”

Butch:

Though the author of these wonderful cookbooks is a bit enamored with elderflower liqueur. I’m not even sure where to get that, let alone what it tastes like.

Though she does have recipes for DIY nuka cola. Awful lot of work for DIY cola, you ask me.

I’ll stick to booze.

But some are easy: Such as:

Rad-away, which is basically a rum and coke with lime and the interesting addition of nutmeg, Stimpacks, which are basically pomegranate jello shots (this one says “Pairs well with human mishaps”) and SPECIAL, which is simple syrup, apple cider, pomegranate juice (apparently pomegranates survived the war), lemons, elderflower liqueur and champagne.

Skooma sounds better: Simple syrup, vodka, vanilla, dried apricots and cardamom. I’d drink that.But holy shit: This book has instructions for fermenting your own mead. Like, real fucking mead! And how to get it anywhere between 4 and 10 percent alcohol! It even has ways to flavor it! (Says “Pairs well with songs by the fire, a sense of adventure and a drinking horn”).

Somehow I’m guessing what Mr. O’s getting for Xmas. Or his birthday. Or both.

Went back to Athens. Did the whole chapter, I guess, cuz the trophy popped. Short chapter.

I’m back on my boat with Adulisa or whatever.

You do all that? Cuz if not, won’t spoil.

Feminina:

Yeah…that all happened. That was…something. Was your Athens full of plague? Because if not, that’s totally my fault.

Butch:

Oh yeah. Terrible plague. Had to burn bodies. Which, remember, in my case, was foretold. I had that quest where I had to take an herb to a guy because he had a vision that Athens was going to fall to a terrible sickness. Spot on, dude.

So you do all of it?

Feminina:

I didn’t burn any bodies! I just walked around them, no one told me to burn them. I did remember your prophecy, which I never did get. Interesting.

Also, this was when I decided to finally go after Nyx, and it turns out the advantage of a plague is that no one really cares if you’re fighting cultist spymasters in the street–she was wandering around all alone, and no one tried to stop me from attacking her. She was still tough, but at least it was just her.

The cult still killed Phoibe, though. Which was an unrelated quest, but which tied in uncomfortably well in terms of timing. Sigh.

Poor Phoibe. And Deimos cutting Perikles’ throat in the Parthenon! Did not entirely see that coming.

Butch:

So I can ask: Where to next? I was going to drift down to the Obsidian Isles there, as they are close and I think they’re weak enough a cultist will “engage me in a naval battle.” Might as well do that.

And there’s two blue tales quests, on in Phokis, one by the salty bear, that are close to fast travel points. We should do those. Those are good.

Or I could just main story it up.

Have you done anything past magpie?

No bodies? Really? When I got back to plague Athens, between me and the main quest was Hippokrates, all “Please! You must burn them!” So I did. Got, like, 12000 XP.

But what really sucked is that a couple had dogs by them, which attacked, and, apparently, “Killing an Animal” is a crime which will up your bounty. I have to pay off bounties from dogs. DOGS.

I bet all the dogs in Greece are named Kevin.

Ah, man! That would have been nice with Nyx! She was tough and had friends when I killed her!

Ok….so…I’m not gonna google cuz I don’t want spoilers, but that with Phoibe was unavoidable, right? Cuz the quest was “protect Phoibe,” which made me think that we could have saved her. I kinda doubt it, cuz that was quite the plot point, but I can see how it would be doable either way.

I was also sensitive to that as the other quest I did was one for Allie who keeps popping up. He wanted me to take a drunk dude home. I kept trying to save the drunk dude, but I kept failing and gave up.

I have thoughts about that. Did you do that?

I didn’t see Perikles’ death coming either, especially as I was being all smart. See, after killing Nyx, I looked at the clue (which I’m pretty sure you aren’t doing) and it was “Active in Athenian Politics.” I noticed that some other cultist had a note from a boss signed “P” so I was all “Dude, it’s so Perikles. Looks like he’s all democracy, free thoughts and TWIST!” Guess not.

At least I can always say I was right about Arthur’s TB.

Though, this being AC, I could still be right! Cuz there’s all SORTS of weird! Like Deimos always having two dudes around who’s only job is to “die fighting my sister so I can slip away and appear at the end of the next chapter.” Probably not a job you want to take.

Though I will heap some praise on the game now: Phoibe’s death scene was really well done. I shall praise the thing I praise that you never notice: Sound. There was a LONG shot, Kassandra realizing she can’t save her, folding her hands, etc., that was SILENT. No ambient noise, no music, no nothing. That’s so rare in games. Games usually overdo it with sound effects, music, characters that never shut up, etc. To have this emotional moment punctuated by absolute silence was both effective and really made you realize how uncommon it is to hear nothing in a game, and how maybe that’s a trick more games should pick up. As I tell my kids, you don’t always need to be talking and making noise.

Props, game.

Feminina:

It was a good scene. There was genuine sorrow in Kassandra’s actions, and emotion is often a tough thing to get across. And the quiet, yeah, I didn’t really notice because our fan is so loud (holding out for the PS5). But good point!

I also wondered if we could have saved Phoibe. I mean, I did pause to fight Nyx before checking out that dude’s house where she was supposed to be. Maybe if I’d been quicker…but I don’t know.

It does also have kind of the feel of a plot point that was going to happen no matter what, so maybe we couldn’t have avoided it. I didn’t look it up either, although I’m tempted.

And dude, Alkibiades is such a jerk! Always getting me to do his dirty work. Delivering casts of his penis to enemies, hauling drunk people (presumably also enemies) into bad neighborhoods to be murdered by thugs…but I can’t lie, I’ll totally still do whatever his next quest is, because he’s also kind of funny. Plus, often good for a quick, tension-releasing orgy or a romp in a sacred temple!

After leaving Athens, I went over towards Paros, since Barnabas’ quest goes there (among other places), and Mykonos and Naxos are nearby so I can then drop off that lady and then go follow up on the lead about my mother. Enough things in one place that it seemed worth coming to this area.

Then, obviously, I got caught up in a saga on Mykonos and Delos that I’m just finishing, but there are two cultists around so I was glad to kill them along the way. Need…spear fragments…

I wonder why Hippokrates didn’t ask me to burn bodies? I totally would have done it! I fast-traveled in…maybe I just missed him.

Butch:

Nah, I did it all in one big linear swoop and she still died. That said, whenever I try to save someone (drunk politician, theater owners who took in orphans, poor women who got tricked into losing their hair) they die. And that “Protect Phoibe” quest objective…it could have been a fake out, but I dunno.

I’ll live with it.

Don’t look it up. We shall move on.

And no, I did the same thing, fast traveled to Athens. Hippokrates was right there, like, 40 meters or whatever from the temple DIRECTLY between said temple and the main quest. You couldn’t have missed him. Didn’t even have to magpie.

Weird.

But it wasn’t much of a quest. You just had to pick up bodies and chuck them into a bonfire. Gross, but hardly story themey centric.

But I did learn you can chuck bodies. Good to know, I guess.

I’m starting to not trust Alkibiades. He’s all “Take him home….” and the guy was even saying “Why are we going this way? I don’t live here!” and I figured “Meh, he’s drunk.” But he didn’t live there. He was set up, and we killed his killers. Allie would know that a) the killers would probably kill the politician and b) we’d be cool cuz we’re badass.

This begs the question: Why is he killing so many people and lying to us about it? We’ve joked that all you have to say to us is “Hey, we knew mumble mumble so hey, could you go kill my neighbor?” and we’re all “SURE!” And yet….he’s being elusive.

Though I did turn down a quest where it was mumble mumble kill someone! Some dude in Korinth was upset that someone “had the ear” of his “beloved heratae with the name that also starts with A this shit is so confusing” and I just said no. It was an “impact quest.” He said “Come back if you change your mind,” but I won’t. I’m in love with love, man. I’m not going to kill someone just cuz this weirdo doesn’t like her flirting.

We’ll see what the impact is.

All right. I’ll drift towards Mykonos and Delos. The blue quests can wait, what being by fast travel points and all.

Feminina:

Oh yeah, I turned that down too! I’m not going to go hassling some woman or killing her new love or whatever because some guy is afraid she doesn’t love him. That’s the kind of job angry, entitled-feeling men have always handled on their own–you don’t need a trained warrior.

I mean, I would have killed him if the guy had had a better story. Tell me the other dude stole your grandfather’s handaxe or something. Just don’t make me feel too bad about myself, mm’kay?

Weird. I really wonder what I did to make Hippokrates think I wasn’t up to the task of chucking bodies. Oh well. I’ll manage without his XP.

Butch:

Right! Or say she is falsely claiming you owe her money.

Kassandra: “Chaire, stranger. I have picked you as the random person I will say ‘do you need help from a mercenary’ to, so…uh….do you need help from a mercenary?”NPC: “Yes. Please kill this woman.”K: “Why?”NPC: “She’s stopping me from getting my thang on.”K: “Pfft. Not my problem, stranger. That’s some weird malaka.”NPC: “Uh…..and she says I owe her for the baklava at last week’s office party, but it was so her turn to pay!”K: “Why didn’t you say so? She’ll beg for mercy!”

That’s so weird about the bodies. Ah, well. I’m sure you’ll just have to get your XP from killing captains like everyone else.

Feminina:

I’ve clawed my way to level 44 over the backs of murdered captains, and I see no reason to change strategies now.

Butch:

Show off.

Hey is Mr O done? Junior was trophy stalking. Seems he is.

Feminina:

Yeah, he just got the platinum last night.

Butch:

And now he can rest.

Dear god.

There’s a cultist. He’s on a boat.

To find him, you have to do a conquest battle.

A naval conquest battle.

So, after weakening everything.

Fuck. That.

Did it though.

Feminina:

Oh man…I hope that’s not the naval conquest battle I started, accidentally ran away from, and then respawned when the nation had refortified and the battle was no longer available! I was going to do that one!

I don’t remember where it was, though, so…whatever. I’ll get back to it eventually. Or not.

Butch:

It was pretty obvious, dude. Like, the battle starts and BOOM cultist discovered, go unmask hey there he is!

You’ll get it eventually. You have to. Only way to kill the cultist. Which you have to do, right?

Feminina:

Oh, whew. That wasn’t the one I did, then. I would have noticed a cultist on a boat. Probably.

Butch:

Well, especially as he got revealed the moment the battle started. You’d have noticed.

Maybe.

But, now that Mr. O knows, DO you have to kill all the cultists to finish the game?

Cuz I’m telling you, I’ll finish the game, but I ain’t platinuming shit. It’s fun, but we have lots of other stuff to play, and LOTS more coming up. I ain’t got three days to spend doing frustrating ship battles to kill cultists. Life’s too short.

Feminina:

Oh, good point! I’ll ask him if he actually had to kill them all. Stay tuned.

The whole “unmask then track down cultists” thing is stupid. Really, really stupid. The “clues” are silly, and now, half the time, the “clue” is just “I’ll TELL YOU WHO I AM!”

This is silly.

It really does seem like the whole thing is a remnant from a first draft of the game. It reads like something that was going to be the game, a “find clues, hunt them down” game, and then, at some point, they decided that they would make things more RPGish. As it is now, it just plain doesn’t fit. Sure, it gives Kassandra some motivation to do the overall plot, but the whole mechanic of “clues” (in quotes, as these “clues” don’t lead to any mystery or discovery) and “unmasking” is just busy work.

Worse, when they have to go “Uhh…shit….gotta let the player know this guy’s a cultist…” it makes no narrative sense. Ok, Monger’s a cultist. Fine. But they couldn’t let a “clue” be part of the game because a magpie would’ve found it and gone after the Monger at some earlier time and fucked it all up. The only way that the Monger could a) be a cultist and b) die at that point in the narrative would be the way they did it: “I AM A CULTIST!” The fact they’re doing that so often is making the whole cult thing make even less sense than it did in the first place. Kassandra is supposed to be all “WHOA. There’s a CULT? A SECRET CULT? No. Way. Who knew? And they’re everywhere? Controlling us? This is MESSED UP.” Right? That’s kinda the point of a SECRET CULT. And yet, here’s the Monger, standing in a theater in front of all of Korinth (or, like, the ten people Ubisoft could animate without crashing the system….kinda wimpy attendance, there) screaming “I should have taken her head to the CULT! The SECRET CULT! Power to KOSMOS, leader of the VERY SECRET CULT that you, Eagle Bearer, never heard of because it’s SO FUCKING SECRET! Right, spectators?”

Villain exposition is bad enough, but when it happens about something secret ON STAGE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CITY it’s just too damn much.

Ah, well. He’s dead now.

Feminina:

I’m home today because I had to drop people off at places. So I’m going to play later.

The Monger! Yes, at least he’s dead. My amusing story about that is, I had a couple of bounty hunters chasing me when I went to face him, and the first time we fought he defeated me, so I respawned and ran up the side of the building there to shoot at him, and while I was shooting, a level-40 bounty hunter came riding up and started fighting with him! Killed him and his men for me while I lurked up there on the building! And then, so as not to risk losing this precious gift, I paid off my bounties and lurked until the guy lost interest and rode off.

It was a lot easier than I thought that fight would be, that’s for sure.

Every once in a while, bounty hunters come in handy.

But yeah, the whole “just so you know I’M IN A CULT” reveal was entertaining the first time, and I’m not going to turn it down this time, obviously (I need that shard!), but…meh.

Butch:

Of course you’re gonna play.

I’m going to get the car worked on. Sigh. But I’ll be ALONE! so that’s good.

Dude, that’s pretty awesome about the bounty hunters (if cheap). My thing was that I got followed to it, had to kill a guy, and then “become anonymous” but the broom brigade was chasing me. I was gonna kill everyone until I noticed that one of the broom Kevins was an impact quest giver! Seriously! I couldn’t kill a quest giver! So I ran like hell, found a place to hide, and this swarm of citizens is getting closer and closer….and then poof. I stayed out of sight long enough for them to chill, and they ALL ran, I mean, RAN back to their little NPC places. Maybe, ten of them. Like, “Oh SHIT I belong in that three foot square box someone’s gonna take my box if I don’t get back and I left the oven on and I’m out.”

Entertaining vs. cheesy aside….do people in cults call them cults? Cuz if you’re in a cult, you don’t believe it’s a cult, or something….right? I don’t know. It’s very meta.

Actually, it’s vegetarian meatloaf, which, when you think about it, is also an unnatural mutant creation.

And I’m making Ossimir venison from the Elder Scrolls cookbook on date night Friday. Seriously.

This weekend? Brahmin burgers with nuka cola barbecue sauce.

Seriously.

GOD we’re geeks.

But we can take heart in knowing that we can now make Fancy Lads Snack Cakes!

Seriously.

Feminina:

OHMYGOD I need Fancy Lad Snack Cakes!!!!!!!!

That’s awesome.

Man, we’re geeks.

Butch:

We sure are. We sure are.

They actually look damn tasty. I thought the book would be kinda jokey, like, blamco mac and cheese would be, like, “Get a box of mac and cheese….” but it’s, like, real, homemade, gourmet mac and cheese.

They even have cocktails called Rad Away, Psycho and Stimpak.

It’s kinda sorta amazing.

Feminina:

I feel that’s really not in the true spirit of Blam-Co, but I suppose it’s probably a lot more likely to be something one would actually eat.

I wonder if I know anyone who might enjoy receiving that book as a gift…

Did some. One quest, really. I’ll just lead with “who the hell was that guy?”

Feminina:

Also played some. Finished Divine Intervention. So…who the hell was that lady? Was she Athena? I went with “you want me to think you’re Athena,” which seemed both true and not necessarily exclusive of the possibility that she might actually be.

Hm.

She certainly knew a lot of random stuff about where things and people were.

Then I checked the ship message board and went to Skyros for Barnabas. I’ve already been there, of course.

As for that guy… The one who showed up in a dramatic cut scene and helped you fight the Monger’s goons? Yeah, who WAS that?! Presumably he’ll come up again. We’ll see.

Butch:

Who, indeed? I actually did say “You are Athena,” which I also thought I could get away with because I could claim I meant it metaphorically. So what happened when you said that? My weird lady wandered off, but there was an owl feather there where she was.

But here’s what I kinda love: We both had the same hemming and hawing reaction to this. In a game about “Should you believe” (when it’s about something), both of us, people who are not religious in nature, wondered, and went different ways with the same uncertainty. THAT’S cool quest design.

And we both tried to inject some reason into it! We both weighed things like “Well, she knew that, but she could have….” We approached “faith” by trying to “figure it out.”

Hmm.

You gotta admit, these two Tales quests are far better than anything else thus far.

Barnabas…Ah, ok, so you went to the place they were tripping? Good. Right? You did that?

And yeah, that guy! Don’t get me wrong, I was very glad he showed up, but what the hell?

You know, don’t you?

Feminina:

I don’t! I have no idea! He showed up, helped, introduced himself as Bracidos or something, suggested a stealthy removal of the Monger, and that’s the last I saw of him.

I went with the hetaerae non-stealthy approach to removing the Monger… Maybe you saw that guy again if you did it his way. Try it and see!

Butch:

No way, dude! That guy with the brothers said that I had to make it a spectacle or the debt wasn’t paid! I gotta go full non-stealthy! For poets and flawed soldiers!

He has to show up again. No one with such a dramatic introductory cutscene just has one appearance.

Feminina:

The guy with the brothers? I did the brothers after this, so maybe it was different. I don’t remember anyone mentioning him.

Butch:

AH! See, when I ended with the brothers, I had no earthly idea who the Monger was. The dude who wanted his money back (big dude? “Your father owes me?” That guy), when I was all “Let’s talk about this,” was all “Kill the Monger and the debt is paid. But make a spectacle of it. If you do it quietly, the debt isn’t paid. It isn’t good enough if he just disappears.”

He must’ve been cool with you cuz you did it.

So did you get Barnabas’ requests? What you make of that?

Feminina:

Ah… He did say “you’ve eliminated my competition, so the debt is paid.” I assumed he meant some other random person I’d killed lately, maybe some other bandits (I lose track, man!), but yeah, that makes sense. Nice! I did make a spectacle, too. Sort of. We’ll talk later.

I went to Skyros and found the pirate hide-out, which I already cleared out once before, but it was late so I didn’t actually go free the lady (who I freed once before, and I wondered why she just stood there). That’s my next step.

Butch:

Yeah. That would be the monger.

It’s a step all right. Barnabas is….complex.

Feminina:

Can’t wait to get into the complexity! Tonight. Or tomorrow. I’m ready.

Butch:

There’s monsters. And romance!

You’ve done so well getting back in the groove.

Feminina:

Home early for a school-related thing. Just got a bit in. Visited the island where the witch was hanging out with all those pigs. Didn’t drink her wine…

This isn’t going to end well, is it? I feel bad for poor Barnabas, but he’s probably deluding himself.

Butch:

Ah, yes. So Barnabas has asked you about his visions and his wife. Yes. Right?

IS he deluding himself? I have a feeling that might be vague.

What he certainly is is a fucking distracting blue diamond on my fucking boat. He is also a reason that the game is now going “There is a quest nearby, track quest?” every single time I’m anywhere near the aforementioned fucking boat.

I know, game, and no, I do not want to track it.

The diamonds though. Fuck those diamonds. I can see it now:

Herodotus: Uh…dude? What’s with that?Barnabas: It’s to remind Kassandra that I have a related quest!Herodotus: She knows.Barnabas: But what if she forgets?Herodotus: She won’t.Barnabas: But what’s the harm of me having this?Herodotus: The game is making me sit here, across from you, and your diamond is kinda fucking up my view.Barnabas: It’s for my wife, though! Surely you understand!Herodotus: Look, dude, it’s really annoy- hey, who are you?Random Person We’re Now Escorting: I am escaping Korinth! Kassandra told me she’d take me to wherever the fuck! Hey, you mind if I sit here next to you?Herodotus: Sure, whatever, not much bench space though and hey, what’s that above your head? *****long pause***** Shit.Barnabas: Hey, man, at least mine’s blue.Herodotus: Dude…Barnabas: Matches the sea!Herodotus: DUDE…..Barnabas: And think of themes!Herodotus: Please fuck off.

Feminina:

Yeah, basically as soon as that blue diamond popped up I said “all right, I’m doing this damn quest to get rid of THAT.” Conveniently, at least one of the islands is over by Mykonos or wherever that other lady wanted to go, so I’ll take care of them both in the same general area.

Got some in. Did two of the three things in the heratae quest line (once, in game, I’d love to find someone important who’ll be all “Yeah, sure, I’ll talk”) and I’m irked. If you’ve done it, we’ll talk. If not, we’ll talk later. We will always talk about that which irks.

So hopefully you did Divine Intervention, A Brother’s Seduction.

Feminina:

I finished up with the haeterae, so you can be irked. And then, being right there in Korinth, I checked up on those Tales of Ancient Greece! (You’re right, they’re blue! But I’m also right, the player-contributed content is blue too. They’re different shades of blue, but apparently my brain just wrote them all off as unworthy of notice.)

I did not finish the Divine Intervention quest, although I got to the point that I needed to go back to Attika to retrieve a key, and then I had to be in Athens anyway because that’s what happens at the end of the haeterae quest, so that’s where I am now.

And before that, I did finish up with the Brother’s Seduction. That was an interesting little story! Neither one of them, apparently, realizing that their father was kind of a loser…both trying to live up to his artificially heroic image…the hints of lingering mental trauma from war…

Oh, and I obviously seduced both brothers. Then at the end I picked neither and told them I liked them both as friends. Which seemed like the only way I could leave THEM still friends, which kind of felt like the best resolution of that story. They’re all they each have left in the world! I would have hated to pick one person and have that be a point of contention between two brothers who were just starting to be close again and support each other after their father’s death. Plus, I mean…I didn’t actually WANT to swear lasting love to either of them, given we’d only known each other about a week, and I have all these other things to do.

I mean, if I could have said I liked them both as lovers, I would have tried that!–but no. I can sleep my way across Greece, that’s cool, but trying to actually maintain some kind of relationship with more than one person? IMPOSSIBLY RADICAL.

Butch:

Huzzah! We FINALLY have bloggage! And you’re back ahead of me.

The universe is aligning. And school’s back in! Phew. Normality.

So thoughts!

Heratae stuff: I don’t like the sex dynamic. It’s bad enough that we’re falling into the whole “bad guy who is terrorizing city is also a sexual deviant” (remember Junior from TW3?), but doing that against the backdrop of the heratae opposing him doesn’t sit well. Sexually empowered women vs. a sexual deviant just seems…..ooky. I don’t say this often, but I hope this ISN’T themes. If they are trying to say something about women’s empowerment, or the interaction between sex and love (I take it you banged Allie in the temple cuz you’re you), or whether love/attraction is divine or not or whatever, then they could have done all that without the dynamic of women opposing someone who is committing sexual violence against women. It’s ham handed, it’s tropey and it’s irksome.

Divine Intervention: We’ll talk. Later.

Brother’s Seduction: I kinda loved that quest line. Romance aside, it finally, FINALLY, got us back into the overall theme of faith (which we will also talk about. Later. When you finish the other thing). What was so great was that it didn’t involve faith in gods, but faith in family: their father and each other. They had to pick some version of what to believe about their own history and own origins. On that, what did you do with the armor? I bought the dad’s armor and lied to the brothers. Then regretted it. In the end, they wind up realizing that their faith was both misplaced (he wasn’t the best guy in the world), but also something that was worthwhile (they ended up closer as brothers because of their experiences with their father). There was also the wrinkle that the one who followed his father’s wishes wound up unhappy and suffering from PTSD, where the one who “disobeyed” the father figure, feared disappointing him, wound up much happier. (By the way, what did you do regarding the poet’s career? I told him to become a cook).

But it also made me think of something we haven’t really spoken on: Faith in Kassandra. We’ve had so very many chances to have Kassandra say either “I’m a god” or “I’m just a mercenary.” The game is going down the “who is the hero? What makes you worth believing in?” with the main character. Both brothers look to Kassandra for guidance and SHE GIVES IT. She is, in some real sense, providing what everyone looks to the gods to do, she gives comfort, advice, absolution.

She’s been doing that all along. EVERY video game PC does that all along.

Which is starting to make me think about each time we’re asked “are you a god?” in this game.

By far the best quest line in the game so far.

Finish Divine Intervention. We’ll talk. Later.

Feminina:

Very true! We do provide this guidance! Maybe Kassandra IS a god!

I bought the cheaper armor, both because I’m cheap and because I wasn’t sure I wanted to explain how I got the father’s original armor. The military brother, Timotheus, just said “this will do” and was perfectly satisfied with it, so I didn’t have to say anything. On that note, I’m not sure they ever really DID completely face up to the truth about their father in my version…that bandit leader came along to say “he worked with me and then stole my money,” but they both expressed disbelief. I’m not sure if they wound up still thinking he was an uncomplicated hero, or not. (I did let the bandit go rather than fighting him, and maybe saying “there’s been enough bloodshed” was a gentle way of me saying I thought the guy was telling the truth.)

Like you, I told Lykinos to become a cook, and I talked Timotheus through his mania or whatever. I like to think I left them both feeling better. They were pretty cool about me saying I just wanted to be friends, which was nice.

Apparently (based on internet spoilers) it was actually kind of complicated…if you only romanced one of them and then said you wanted him at the end, you COULD end up with a lasting relationship! But if you romanced both and then picked one, the other would get mad, and then they’d both be mad at you. So I dodged a bullet there. But also, unwittingly, dodged a lasting romance with either a brooding guy with a tragic past (if only he still wore heavy armor! but I bet he’d dress up for me), OR a handsome chef with the soul of a poet. Sigh.

Butch:

And it speaks to the “maybe we’re all in our own simulations, gods ourselves” idea you floated (though if I am in a simulation, how come I didn’t pick the one with fancy dress balls and hot sorceresses?).

I bought the armor then lied and said something something saved it from bandits. They were so happy, and when the baddie came by they looked at me and said “You….hid the truth? You should have told us…..” See? Lack of faith. “Why did the ersatz god lie?”

Ah, see, I DIDN’T romance the soldier. Damn. I could have had good food forever.

But then I probably couldn’t keep banging everyone, and, really, who wants that?

Feminina:

Dude! I bet he would have kept a vine-covered cottage for you! You could have had warm cakes!!!!! YOU COULD HAVE HAD LOVE!

Ah well. As you say, that cuts down on the opportunities to sleep with hot sorceresses, should any show up.

As for the Monger, yeah, that was icky. Like Junior. I think juxtaposing it with the haetarae is maybe trying (somewhat clumsily) to say that just because these women sell certain kinds of services, doesn’t mean they’re objects that someone can do whatever they want with. The other mission about the Monger was destroying all his trade goods, right? So it’s setting him up as someone who’s strongly interested in objects that he can own and sell, and it kind of logically follows that he sees people as objects he can own and sell. Maybe people in general, but certainly people who do work that is often described (at least in English-speaking history) as “selling themselves.” To him, these women are just things he can procure and use up as he sees fit.

I think they certainly could have made the point that this attitude towards other human beings is wrong, without needing to make him a sexual torturer: that’s blunt and obvious. We already had some material in here on the idea of slavery, and what it means to be a slave in this particular context. People CAN be objects to own and sell in this society, so the Monger could have just been a slave dealer if that was the point.

Or they could have tried to actually examine how does the status of slave relates to the work of the haetaerae, who ‘sell’ themselves. But I don’t know that they really did that. It kind of wound up just being…icky. And giving us a good reason to kill a guy that we really didn’t need any particular reason to kill, because we kill people all the time for far less cause (someone said you were threatening to turn in the Oracle! An old friend of mine said you stole his sword! Alkibiades talked me into delivering a message to someone and you were in the way!).

If it was meant to be an empowering message about how women don’t like being raped and tortured to death, and will hire a mercenary to help them get revenge…uh…yeah. I mean, yeah, good for them standing up for themselves, but honestly, it would have worked just as well if what they were standing up for was stopping some guy’s attempt to take over their business, which is how it started.

And like us, did the haetaerae really need a “better” reason to oppose the Monger, than that he was taking over their business, robbing their clients, threatening them and taking their profits? Does someone have to get raped and tortured to death before women’s concerns about their work and their economic security are worth taking seriously? Were the writers concerned that we wouldn’t be sympathetic enough to these women’s complaints if no one was murdered?

“Oh, he’s just setting himself up as the Pimp Overlord of the city and taking all their money, no biggie. They probably need a man to manage the business side of things anyway. But this sex-murder habit, that’s a bit over the line, I suppose we’ll have to take action.”

Hmph.

But I do have a great story about the end of this mission when I had to fight the Monger (spoiler! You have to fight the Monger!).

Oh, also I finally tracked down Nyx the spymaster in Athens and got her spear fragment. Only one piece away from upgrading the spear! And the only remaining cultist I know about who’s at my level is…in the Arena. Wherever that is. Siiiiigh.

Gotta find the Arena, or else some more cultist clues.

Butch:

Exactly. What’s the point of warm cakes without the sorceress?

On the Monger: Right. There are many options here, indeed, options that would make sense themewise with a lot of what we’ve already done.

Hmph, indeed. Especially as, in addition to its narrative failings, there just HAD to be the “stumbling upon the dungeon” bit that we also had in TW3. That sort of thing just seems leery, and that’s even worse. Did we really need a whole quest point of Kassandra investigating all that? No, no we did not.

And if it was undermining the “empowerment” deal by saying “being a pimp isn’t bad enough,” then double mhph. I didn’t even think of that.

I don’t know. Whole thing didn’t sit right.

Man, that whole level deal with the cultists. Grumble.

I am kinda annoyed that the clues/cultists seem to be the only thing that’s off levelwise. This game (if you avoid the magpie) has been pretty good about things being right at your level when it guides you to them with main story quests…..except the cultists. I was underleveled for Korinth before, but, now that I’m there on main story business it’s all good. Excellent. Fine. I find a cultist clue there. I think “Cool! Everything else here is level appropriate. This guy’s going down what the hell he’s level 45.”

Makes no sense. Especially as everything else has made sense in terms of level.

Feminina:

Yeah, I have a guy who’s level 49 that I know about. I won’t be going after him for a bit. Everyone else is still masked. I need to hunt up some more clues, I guess.

Or just keep following the main story and assume that clues will be doled out sooner or later because the game wants me to kill them all.

Although Mr. O’ was just complaining that the last few he had to deal with are naval battles, and he hates naval combat in this game. So we have that to look forward to! As we suspected.

Butch:

Great. Just….great.

The level 45 guy was a clue I BOUGHT in Korinth. Seems weird. What can you do?

I, too, kinda sorta hate naval combat. The boat in general, too.

Speaking of which…..

Is there a way to turn off the diamonds that say “Hey! Quest!” Because Barnabas and now the woman who was escaping have diamonds on them permanently, and that’s kinda annoying on the high seas.

Feminina:

I have a diamond for her too! “Yeah, yeah, stick with me, I’ll totally drop you off at Mykonos or wherever. Eventually.”

That was kind of an “oops!” there.

“Hey, I hired this boat to take me away from here!”

In fairness…she could have told the people who were worried about her that she was leaving, and saved us some trouble. And all of those sailors their lives.

Butch:

Yeah, I didn’t see that coming.

You don’t have the Barnabas one? It’s blue. Tales of Greece. It’s…..interesting. You didn’t go to the land of the lotus eaters yet?

But it means every single fucking time I’m anywhere NEAR my boat it’s all “There is an untracked quest nearby!” Yes, game, I know. I FUCKING KNOW.

Feminina:

No, I haven’t heard anything from Barnabas! You must have to pick it up in some specific location, and I was still ignoring blue exclamation marks because I thought they were all player-created content.

I’ll get there! Maybe.

Butch:

Oh dude, you HAVE to go to the land of the Lotus eaters. It’s….dude. And it leads to more….dude. Just….dude.

After some googling….

The quest is called “Odyssey into the past.” Check the message board on your boat (which I NEVER do) and it’ll pop. Track it. It’s MORE than worth it.

Feminina:

Ah, the boat message board!

Yeah, I never check that. But OK, I will.

Butch:

I never, ever do either. I have no idea why I did. It’s the only time I did.

Ooo! Actually, I think I do know! Remember way back when after I “sank” that boat at the end of Kleon’s quest and I missed dialog? I checked it to see what I missed!

Check it. There’s drugs. And trips. And companion quests!

Feminina:

That does sound irresistible!

Throw in some romance, and you’ve got a real party. Maybe Alkibiades would come along.

As you likely have nothing, I will say that, regarding the “Tales of Greece” quest, I do mock past me for thinking that these were short (HA!) but I do reiterate that Divine Intervention and A Brother’s Seduction are must plays, and both are found right in the Port of Korinth (not the city. The port part. The eastern port part. By the Krathensomething plains and the ithsmus of Posiden and other words I just can’t be bothered to spell cuz it was just my birthday and I’m old and fuck this week.

Oh, but, as you only look forward to games now, here’s something to look forward to:

And man, my kids were waking me up half the night because they’re kids, and then the alarm went off when I was right in the middle of some weirdass dream (i.e., a dream), and I woke up with a groggy, aged stiffness to rival anyone’s.

Maybe not my 91-year-old grandmother’s. But close.

Butch:

ISN’T IT???? But, let’s face it, it could look like a cardboard box and we’d get it anyway.

We must play!

Dude I had weird dreams last night, too! I thought maybe it was cuz I drank some gin and then took kids benadryl to help me fall asleep, but maybe it’s cuz we’re not playing enough! We’re getting weird! Cuz I have a groggy, aged stiffness to rival yours!

This WEEK man.

Feminina:

It’s true, I would pre-order based on a picture of a brown cardboard box with a couple of knobs drawn on in marker if it said “PS5.” We’re easy marks.

That must be it! Weird dreams because not playing games!

Yet another reason to keep up with a rigorous program of video game playing. It’s FITNESS for the brain.

Butch:

It IS fitness for the brain! Except it doesn’t make your brain sore.

One benefit of having the kids around is excuses to avoid FITNESS.

Though it is nice when the calorie app lets you have more booze cuz you did fitness. Good motivating, calorie app.

Feminina:

“Tell me more about how much booze I’m gaining by giving up this snack, calorie app!”

It should literally just be a direct correspondence, so that it reports everything not in calories but in alcohol units.

Butch:

Wait….calories aren’t alcohol units?

Whoa….just hit me….if the PS5 is V shaped, V is the Roman numeral for 5, right? It’s like the PSV! Maybe it’ll be called that!

Whoa.

Feminina:

Whoa!!!! You’re right! That’s very clever of them. Very, very clever.

Kind of puts the pressure on for the VI, but they’ve got time to worry about that.

Butch:

Subtle and shit.

Unlike here. Took the boys to one of these laser tag places to get them out of the house. It’s loud.

Feminina:

Speaking of chaos, this reminds me I have to respond to a summons for jury duty. Good times!

Well, what with getting everyone back to school, I didn’t have energy for much more than Irish whiskey and Chardonnay, so I certainly hope you did some stuff I’ve already done.

I’m going to go talk to the lady of the night today. That sounds awkward.

As an aside, I’m back to not only doing FITNESS but using the calorie counter app that keeps track of how many calories you have left to eat. Does the fact I find myself not snacking and stuff to save calories for Irish whiskey and Chardonnay a problem? I can’t tell if that’s healthy or not.

Feminina:

That’s…probably healthy? Let’s go with healthy.

I have company hanging around trying to have conversations and stuff, so I didn’t do anything you’ve done OR anything you haven’t done.

Enjoy Korinth! It’s gonna be great.

Butch:

Man….all these obligations….crushing souls and hurting game time and making me shift my caloric intake.

What’s getting me through is the fact that school has started and once it settles down there will be time. I am clinging to that.

Well, that and the shifted caloric intake.

At least I know that if I get ahead of you for a while, it will be a brief while. It always is.

Feminina:

I’ll do my best to race ahead again as soon as I get a chance to play.

Butch:

You don’t have to worry about me being ahead. I WAS ahead for a couple days when we first started, remember? So long ago. Took you, I think, one weekend to blow past me by a couple country miles.

My hotmail ad is for American’s #1 pet insurer. I have no idea how these things happen.

Feminina:

Mine is Miller High Life. The Champagne of Beers.

Ah, that takes me back…to when we talked about Miller High Life in the context of RDR2.

Good times.

Butch:

And I’m back to Victoria’s Secret.

All’s reset with the world.

I gotta play. YOU gotta play. We gotta play.

Feminina:

We gotta. Otherwise…no good can come of that.

Butch:

Ok the two tales I did were called ‘divine intervention’ and ‘a brothers seduction’ and they’re the two best quest lines in the game thus far.

I played a ton, and did both a ton and nothing. I shall explain in what may seem stream of consciousness. Maybe it is.

So started in Argolis after wrapping up Chrysis. Decided to magpie. Found this bigass pit with a legendary lion. Said lion was level 23. I was level 25. “Cool,” I thought, “Two levels up? Gonna kill me a lion. No problemo.”

Game….I don’t get it. Pretty much always, levels make sense. Something is higher than you, it’s tougher. Lower, less so. This is how levels WORK. And yet, with animals, this is total bullshit. That boar that I still haven’t killed from way back when? Tough. This lion? Unbeatable. Two levels under me! What GIVES game?

Anyhoo, didn’t kill the lion. No, ran away, only to be chased by a whole lot of other lions, who obviously had taken my attempts to kill their grandpa personally. So I ran away to the only place I could: The ocean. But my boat was far, far, far away, so I hijacked a fishing boat and made for an island that seemed to have a boat dock. Turned out to be the Obsidian islands (some of them, anyway) and something something Eros and hot springs.

And, what do you know, it had question marks. And side quests!

Sadly, the question marks also turned out to be really, really ornery wild beasts (in this case, leopards) (kinda nice of the animals to agree to their own places, isn’t it?), but the side quest turned out to be a chance to do random combat with a tough as nails hottie who I totally banged before we realized we probably will have to kill each other later. You do all this?

Then called the boat, did some pirate killing, felt bad cuz they probably had better shanties than I do. But mostly needed the boat cuz I had to go to Korinth to continue the main story and I didn’t have any fast travel points there.

Sailed back, and immediately saw one of those blue quests, the “stories of Greece” or some shit. Said “You know, purely for blog purposes, I might try that out.” So I did. Or I am. Currently.

Cuz it is/was/is LOOOONG.

Well, IT’S not long, per se. It leads to a series of quests, but the string of quests is LONG. Still going, actually.

But themey! Blog worthy! You should do it! Lots of choices! Like….LOTS!

And it’ll probably be less LONG for you, because I spent a lot of time saying “There? How am I gonna get there? I haven’t been there. There’s no fast travel point near there.” So I spent a great deal of time running/swimming/sailing/yet more swimming cuz I didn’t have the boat in a very meditative, annoying, red dead way.

Anyway, long story short, started in Argolis, was going to go straight to the main story, played two hours, didn’t get anywhere near the main story, and…..I’m back in Argolis.

I’m starting to think we should just give up looking at games that will come out later. We’re never gonna finish this.

Oh but you know what I got? You know what I got?

The key to the vault….IN THE BIGASSED VOLCANO!

Told you you should’ve waited.

THEN: played another ton. Finished up with the blue quest (I got to go in the volcano’s vault! BOOM! It was fun) and I very much recommend you do it. LOTS of bloggage. Well, by this game’s standards.

And then started ANOTHER blue quest cuz it was there and spent a whole mess of time doing that and going there and doing that.

MORE good stuff.

And that’s it. As you haven’t done that, I got nothing.

Feminina:

Are you sure those quests are blue? I swear mine are orange. When you said ‘blue quests’ all I could think was “those blue exclamation points on the map that represent content added by random players? I’m not doing that!”

But then you said “tales of Ancient Greece” or whatever, and I do have those, and I will do one when I get to one, probably. So…yeah. Haven’t done that.

I did manage to play a little. Killed one cultist in…uh…Ebora or someplace? He turned out to be the leader at the Leader House? That was convenient.

Then I went to Korinth, where I have plenty of fast travel points because I spent six weeks magpieing there earlier. Talked to Alkibiades, did a job for him in a place I’d already cleared out earlier (had to kill a few more people, of course, because they’d restaffed, but at least I wasn’t worrying about the captain and the war supplies). Got a nice reward, if you know what I mean, and I’m sure you do.

Talked to the hetaera I’m supposed to talk to, got some hetaerae quests to help people before they tell me about my mother. Totally going to follow up on those when I get the chance.

But if you were off doing tales of ancient Greece, it sounds as if we’ve diverged for the moment.

Butch:

Yes, tales of Ancient Greece. Weird. Mine are blue. They were in Korinth.

Hmm.

Feminina:

Maybe mine are blue too, and I’ve just been ignoring them because I thought they were those player-generated content ones. Because those are also blue, right? Those ones where if you get close you see a weird distortion in the air? And then, if you’re me, you think “naw” and go somewhere else? Maybe they’re different shades of blue, but I missed the distinction.

But if they’re in Korinth, I’m right there, so I’ll get to them. I’ll look at blue exclamation points I may have been ignoring.

So I did the whole Hippokrates/Chrysis quest line. How far down that line have you gone?

Same thing happened to me with Hippokrates patient! That was a mean trick. But, on the other hand, dude, you’re the father of modern medicine. Maybe remember the order of the steps of the treatment YOU INVENTED.

But as for the priests….

What happened to you? I did them all in rather rapid succession, got a couple of what seem like rather vital cutscenes. What did you miss?

And then did all the Chrysis stuff. Did you?

Feminina:

Yeah, I also did some stuff with the priests in maybe the wrong order, because when I got to the bull it was already dead and I had to pick one person to try to save. But I didn’t know it was a timing issue!

Oh well. Not like a roasted bull’s heart is really going to do any of them much good.

And then I followed up with Chrysis, saved the baby rather than chase her down right away, but caught up with her later. So she’s out of the picture. Interesting series of choices there, including some I didn’t realize were choices at first.

Butch:

Dude I don’t think that bull’s heart was a timing thing. I did that right away and, yes, dead bull. Saved the kid. You?

Indeed, when they said “bring it back alive” I was thinking “Wait, what? Is there a new mechanic? Please say it isn’t a lasso,” so when it was dead and there was no new mechanic, I wasn’t surprised. I think that bull was dying no matter what.

I, too, saved the baby. Who doesn’t save the baby?

What weren’t choices? I mean, the notes thing was (and we didn’t know it), who to save of the three people who needed the bull, save the baby or not….

I suppose you could have incorrectly solved the mystery of the landlord or the neighbor. That mattered. Nice touch.

I don’t really mind the timing stuff, really. It’s not game breaking. You’re going to get those plot points no matter what. It’s just adding some degree of realism to the magpie.

Though I don’t think it was time per se. Kassandra says “I visited the priests first,” not “sorry I took so long,” so I got the sense that had we magpied like hell but still didn’t start another chapter quest before going back it would have been ok. I think it was just order more than timing.

I now think I’m pretty much done in Argolis. Off to Korinth!

I’ve heard it’s nice.

Have you done the story bit there? Of course you have.

Feminina:

No, in fact I have not. I magpied all over Korinth, but it was before we had story there.

Basically the last thing I did was fight Chrysis. We’re in pretty much the same place.

You did the bull first and it was still dead? Interesting. The way people were talking, it sounded like something that could have happened differently. Oh well.

I actually told them to give the heart to the guy who owned the bull. I mean…the woman flat out said she had money, so she can pay someone else to take care of her kids, and the little girl selflessly said to help someone else, and it WAS that guy’s bull. Plus, it’s not as if it would do any of them any good, so they’re all going to live or die as the gods decree anyway.

And then I did run into a guy who said he was the bull guy’s friend, and thanked me for trying to save him! ‘Trying’ being the operative term, since it turns out he died. I didn’t hear what happened to the other patients.

Butch:

Yeah, I think the bull was going to go that way no matter what.

Which….well, still pondering themes. But it seems like the chapters so far have been:

1) It’s silly to believe!2) Or is it? As Supideo!This one) Whether or not it’s stupid or right, it’s GOOD to believe. I think.

Cuz, yes, it’s true they were trying to do the “Who’s the real bad guy here?” thing with Chrysis there, which is nothing new, but I also think they were trying to make the cult ambiguous. “Hey, whether or not the cult is full of shit, YOU’RE the killer!” The problem is, when someone who is torturing children to turn them into soldiers is saying that, then, well, it’s hard to have any ambiguity. I kept saying “Look, game, I see your point, but maybe don’t lead with ‘she tortures kids’ cuz that makes pretty much everything else she says rather unambiguous.”

Wait….we’re in the SAME PLACE?

You did Xenia the pirate, right?

We ARE!

Wow. If I play tonight I’ll be……

I can’t even….. AHEAD OF YOU?

I think it says something about your magpie that you’re level, what, 98 and I’m level 25 as of last night and we’re in the same place storywise.

Feminina:

I’m only level 37. Don’t exaggerate.

Get ahead fast, I’ll be home tomorrow. Although then I have Labor Day cookouts to attend, so…take your time, really.

Butch:

Nah, I gotta play. WE gotta play. So much stuff coming out…..So very much…..and so much of this map untouched….

Well, I’m in Salt Lake City, hanging out with my great-aunt. Ate some blueberry trifle she made. Highlight of the day!

And I’ll just throw this out there for when you get back, to make sure I don’t forget I did it.

Finished talking to Hippokrates and the priests! It was interesting that timing became an issue, first when I finally got back with the doctor, and Hippokrates’ patient had died because we took the time to help the other doctor’s patient first. Usually timing doesn’t matter! But here, apparently, if I’d been more forceful and demanded that the doctor come with me and abandon his own patient, maybe Hippokrates’ patient would have survived. Hm.

And that should have warned me, perhaps, but then it turned out later that timing was still important when talking to the priests! I grabbed all their quests at once, as one does, and then puttered around finishing them off, and it seems I should have attended to one of them first. But I didn’t know!

So I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that timing suddenly matters. I kind of like that it makes a difference, it adds to the realism, but at the same time…if it never mattered before it seems kind of harsh to just make it matter now, sometimes, but not always, and not in instances where there’s any way to know if it does or not.

Hm.

So yeah, I did that.

We’ll talk later, when you’re done boozing it up on the beach.

Butch:

What? Huh? Games? What’re those? This is a booze blog!

In the “I’m failing miserably at travel blogging department,” there’s someone famous at my hotel! I saw the reception person all “tell your wife I’ve been her fan since I was a teenager!” Blogging gold!

If I knew who it was.

So close…so far….

Feminina:

Just stake out the lobby for the rest of your stay! She’s bound to go by!

Butch:

But I’m so lame that I wouldn’t recognize a famous person! She could walk right by me!

I better just go home and play some games.

Feminina:

Oh, good point. I probably wouldn’t recognize one either.

Just get home and play. You’ll recognize Hippokrates, if only because his name will be in the quest info.

Butch:

I still won’t be able to spell it.

Just got home. PS4 wasn’t stolen, the last piece of a successful trip.

Feminina:

Yes!

Trimmed some roses this afternoon in the high desert sun. I’ll be lucky if I’m not burned to a crisp.

Butch:

So you’ll go out in sun and heat and sand UNLESS there’s an ocean.

I think you have it backwards.

Feminina:

There isn’t literally sand in my great-aunt’s rose garden. Otherwise, I would never have gone near it.

Butch:

Or ocean.

But then, no rum, so it’s a wash, really.

Feminina:

Saw a nice sunset. It’s more impressive in person.

Butch:

Damn. That is nice.

And since we’re doing night scenes, I’ll do this from the other night just to please our readers. And to mope that I’m home.No filter. That’s the moon.