CAUTION:The content may be NSFW in certain places that object to bare skin, racy outfits and musings about deviant behavior. Do not click and/or complain if that offends you.

The term “girls” is used here after long contemplation and with deep conviction. There is not even the pretense of an iPad-equipped product specialist at the Tokyo Auto Salon. These are girls, they are proud to be girls. Their job is to look good and sexy, and they have to attract men. Whenever there is a huge crowd at a booth, there are girls on stage. There also is an instant wall of guys, armed with everything from a Canon 1DX to a flip-phone.

Sometimes, Japanese politeness gives way to pushing and shoving, and it feels like on the 8:35 Yamanote train. Once the girls leave, the crowd disperses. So they bring out the girls again.

As far as fashion goes, there are two mainstreams at this year’s Tokyo Auto Salon. One is the dominant leather-clad mistress, this being a perfect example. What little there is is studded with a thick layer of sharp nails. Not so subliminal message: Don’t touch, or I’ll hurt you big-time. The perfect outfit to wear on the subway during rush hour.

The other is the standard kawaii-fare. Silly girls in their mid-twenties, posing as teenagers, and appealing to the suppressed pedophile in you. (Standard defense reaction: “Ah, they are ladyboys.” “They remind me of my daughter.” As if thinking of underage homosexual sex, or incest, is an improvement…)

Sometimes, the oeuvres can get a big mixed. This collared kawaii-girl is dressed up as if she serves coffee in an Akihabara maid cafe in the afternoon, then tends bar at the aptly named “Jail” club in Roppongi. Change outfits when changing jobs!

I asked TTAC’s cross-subcultural adviser, Frau Schmitto-san, for guidance. As a professional Tokyo fashion designer, and no stranger to the topic, she looked at the pictures, was disgusted and said: “Those young chicks, they are confused. No style.” Maybe it’s the designers who get all their female interaction from anime, complementing their Gran Turismo sourced driving skills.

These girls are the stars of the Nitto booth across from Toyota, from where square salary men send the occasional distraught glance. The women in black are the epitome of a mish-mash multirole cross-over fetish culture, pandering to your submissive tendencies with boots, and studded leather, while at the same time signaling with pearlie collars that they won’t mind to be owned by a strong master. Burger King meets BDSM – anyway you like it. And ugh, leather. Nitto is a tire company, and rubber is the least we can expect. Staying on message and all that.

The “Anyway you like it” comes as single …

… and as a happy meal.

This group of girls is very popular at the Auto Salon, and they were popular at TTAC on Friday, so here are a few more pictures.

Say stop.

Had enough? (Should there be demands for more – check the gallery below.)

The “Wald Black Bison Edition” (no endangered species was spared in this car) is a Rolls Royce Ghost, converted into a conveyance befitting any rapper. But we aren’t here for the cars. We are here for the girls.

The two on the left have only one pose: “Kirei desu.” (Aren’t I pretty.) The one on the right has advanced to two poses: Dollface …

… and “young and fresh.”

Big-time Japanese cellphone carrier NTT Docomo has a girl next door pushing their “Drive Net” offer.

Even she is wearing leather hot pants under a PVC tank top that did not have to stretch much. (Frau Schmitto-san leans over my shoulder and says: “Are you a fashion editor now?” “Changed jobs!” “Aren’t they usually gay?” Now she’s worried.)

Suzuki also has a girl-next-door, also in hot pants, with studded wrist band, and wearing “please rape me” shoes. Does Osamu know?

Next to black leather, red PVC is big at the car show.

This gang of girls was obviously hired to awaken deviant tendencies in insecure men.

They are all collared and branded. The collars wear the Carrozzeria brand. Which must have identified insecure men with pedophiliac tendencies as its core target.

All carrozzeria girls have to pose with two strips of paper, reason unknown. In a different setting, I would have guessed price tags at a slave auction. But here?

This one has no tags, she must be higher ranking.

This one has two collars, top and bottom, both branded.

Between BDSM-style and Kawaii-style are a few outliers. Clubwear.

Rainwear.

Afternoon tea wear.

Evening wear.

Ballwear.

Beware.

Tread wear.

Santa Fe meets Tokyo…

Sex sells. Even deodorizer.

Your room number? Any bags?

Pacific rims.

Nice legs.

“Japan is a mountainous country, except for its women.” Or so the saying goes. Not true at all.

These girls invite you to escape on a Gold Wing, improved by Gordon.

They come with a trailer.

Isn’t there a Japan chapter of PETA?

Nor blowjob jokes, please.

This sad scene embodies everything that is wrong with Detroit’s approach to marketing cars in Japan.

The Detroit 3 kept respectfully in the background. The waving of the American flag was left to Goodyear.

Goodyear didn’t know anything better than a chintzy riff on “Grease.” If you want to torture logic: That era was when cars were huge, thirsty and had fins. Wrong message. There is a small and balding segment in Japan that still likes that, they don’t buy new, but spend inordinate amounts on old. Wrong story. But hell, Goodyear doesn’t sell cars, what do they know.

America could have offered something the Japanese don’t have themselves. Like athletic blondes, or wild Hispanics. That was left to Kenwood, despite its English name a very Japanese company. They know that blondes have a similar effects on Japanese men as Japanese girls on Americans.

The alleged All-American girls of Goodyear look fake, because they are. Mixed fashion signals again. At least, Goodyear did not bring their blimps.

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I’m depressed that I actually scrolled all the way through this. However, the insight to Herr Schmitt will allow me to read his future articles without my usual dismissal. Context is indeed everything.

Funny my brother is married to a japanese woman. Those women are super pretty but not my cup of tea. TTAC should let me post pictures of young Colombian women. Who cares if they are standing in front of dented Renault4’s nobody looks at the cars?

Actually, pretty girls don’t enable car sales. If it was that simple, Mercury would be a best-selling brand today.

These girls have more impact on concession sales at the convention center than on car sales. For the brands they stand near, they’re a complete waste of time and money. If you could collect them all into a ‘booth babe’ viewing room, the result would be about the same.

As nice as the eye candy is, I kinda prefer to see the cars at a car show.