Consume

Dec 24, 2014, 05:42AM

Facebook, Take a Holiday Vacation

I love Christmas. I just think it’s a time when everyone goes overboard. Drinking. Eating. Buying. Posting on Facebook. Please stop the madness. Facebook needs to take a holiday break. For some reason, everyone feels the urge to post more often this time of year. Between Christmas shopping, office parties, decorating and everything else, I have no idea when they find the time to post every Kodak moment.

Please, enjoy the spirit of the holidays and unplug. If you feel compelled, try to use some restraint in doing the following:

Never-ending pictures of the kids. Okay, everyone. Now we know you can reproduce. Stop the thousands of pictures of little Janie or Johnny with Santa, posing in a red or green outfit that doesn’t match their skin tone, eating their first tree shaped cookie or posting some blurry scene from the middle school Christmas play. One pic is fine. Two is redundant. Give it a break.

Sunsets. I don’t know why but I’ve seen a lot of winter sunsets on Facebook recently. You’d think this would happen in the warmer months when they truly are spectacular. Maybe it’s the winter solstice or people are getting bored and the moment they decide to step outside and face the cold, it’s dusk. Unless you live in Antarctica or are exiled in Siberia, there is a sunset every day. If you’ve won a photography contest, post it, if not, don’t.

Christmas Trees. There are only so many ways to decorate a tree. And what’s with the before and after pictures? Is it supposed to amaze your friends that you got the lights and decorations on the tree 15 minutes after you brought it into your living room? Please. This is not Extreme Makeover. My family drove to the tree farm, dug in the hard ground to lift a 75-pound lump of earth and tree and hauled it into the house in a large tin bucket. We’re going to haul it back out and plant it a few days after New Years. If anyone should post, it should be us. And we should get a gold star along with 100 LIKES.

Quotes. How many quotes can I remember? “Christmas is a time for giving.” “Christmas is a time for love?” What? Is every other month besides December not a time to be a harbinger of good? And, have you ever noticed someone who posted a quote that couldn’t be more the opposite of that human being? I think December is overrated.

Pictures of yummy hot drinks and coffee art. Someone spent a lot of time making or designing the concoction that will be ruined in three seconds. Plus the barista is laughing the whole time you are holding your camera up to your mug.

Giving or volunteering. This is the only exception to the rule. Giving to the local gift exchange for the poor, picking up the free boxed holiday dinners from the fire hall that you’re going to distribute in the community or caroling at the assisted living home. Post as many as you like. In fact, it would be nice to see Facebook walls with more of these and much less of the others.