deceit

It's been happening for years, my love, and you - although indeed an inestimably important catalyst - should never take it personally. It was a pressure cooker, with a twenty-eight year timer attached, and the balance between me being or breaking was so precise as to be imperceptible for a while. A cycle of deceit was the constant source of heat, and a liberal pinch of guilt helped the pressure as it built.

You didn't deserve it. I shattered your dreams, your life and your trust, but if you understand just one thing - then it's this that you must;

An attempt or disposition to deceive or lead into error; any declaration, artifice, or practice, which misleads another, or causes him to believe what is false; a contrivance to entrap; deception; a wily device; fraud.

Making the ephah small and the shekel great, and falsifying the balances by deceit.
Amos viii. 5.