I'm on the cusp of making a commitment -- of declaring a kind of internal formal intention -- to live mindfully. Not just now and then, but as a way of life.

It feels like a huge decision, because it essentially means letting go of the storylines that have kept ME going all these years, that keep ME going.

The great joys and great sorrows, the often delicious (melo)drama of living the stories is revealing itself to be not enough.

My idea is to commit for a period of time, say three months, and then assess. I'll start with moment-to-moment mindfulness/awareness (without being obsessive or heavy-handed about it). And, depending on how things go, I'll gradually add in on-the-cushion sitting: samatha, vipassana, vivid awareness.

I know many of you have been at this fork in the road. I would appreciate your advice, comments, encouragement.

Most of the time I am at low energy (maybe because I have bad sleep, I dont know) and when in low energy, being mindfull is a damn pain. I must have energy and a fresh mind to be delighted with mindfulness. So, my advise is to have energy! I would like to read more advises and ideas here because mindfulness is such an important thing. For example, sometimes I get tired with being mindfull while doing daily stuff, how can I fight against that?

At last, it would be great to if you could find a retreat where you can learn more or, at least, be in peace. I would like to find one, but that would mean to abandon my lay life.

Nosta wrote:At last, it would be great to if you could find a retreat where you can learn more or, at least, be in peace. I would like to find one, but that would mean to abandon my lay life.

I've put a lot of energy -- given up a lot of "worldly pleasures, power, etc." -- to make my life retreat-ish, un-full of superfluous activity. But I still enjoy me some good late-night sci-fi TV movies ...

Nosta wrote:Most of the time I am at low energy (maybe because I have bad sleep, I dont know) and when in low energy, being mindfull is a damn pain. I must have energy and a fresh mind to be delighted with mindfulness. So, my advise is to have energy! I would like to read more advises and ideas here because mindfulness is such an important thing. For example, sometimes I get tired with being mindfull while doing daily stuff, how can I fight against that?

At last, it would be great to if you could find a retreat where you can learn more or, at least, be in peace. I would like to find one, but that would mean to abandon my lay life.

Same experience here. I think a lot of the fatigue comes from habitual hamster-wheel mind, like bouncing your knee until it gets tired. Or you may have the bad habit like I do of thinking yourself into being more tired than you actually are! I have to ask myself "says who?" all the time, and the results have been surprising.

Viewing mindfulness as a sort of rest into what's already there instead of energetically generating a new state of mind helps, too. Mindfulness can be very gentle and restorative, just noticing sounds for example instead of how tired we are. Seems like we can make a trap out of anything.

You may also be conflating concentration, an active willful process, with mindfulness, a receptive noticing process. I may be wrong.

The mindful awareness mode of being is the same for all of us. Awareness is empty of conditioned experiencing, though it will still be effected/filtered/interpreted by the conditional arisings when we waver . . .It is why peak experiences are so alive, why pain brings us into awareness and why full-time mindfulness is a great practice and eventually an effortless being.