my 19mnth old bites herself HELP

Hi I have a 19 month old little girl who has started throwing whoppers of tantrums! My OH likes to pander to her whereas I'm the strict one.. He's starting to toughen up which she understandably does not appreciate. The most worrying thing is that she bites herself quite hard if we ignore her which makes it hard to ignore her :S She started to bite a while back n has learnt not to bite other ppl and just wont understand not to bite herself. Since daddy has toughened up she seems to do it more. I know thats no coincidence!(The problem is we had a difficult pregnancy and she has episodes which shes currently under investigation for with a specialist,she becomes vacant and sometimes doesnt breath, she's also had one fit, they're wandering whether it could be epilepsy..This makes it hard to discipline her as sometimes I just feel so lucky to have her and its so tempting to put up with her behaviour because we didn't expect her to still be alive and kicking basically!) Another worry is that I dont want anyone to see the marks and assume I'm inflicting/encouraging them. My health visitor hasn't been in touch and doesn't return my calls I'm really quite worried. I really don't know what to do **ANY HELP GREATLY APPRECIATED!! THANKS X ** ps sorry to have rambled a little/alot

Oh u pour thing x i certainly sympathise with difficult behaviour, im havin to deal with outbursts of serious temper tantrums with my 18 month daughter, its a nightmare so ur not alone with that. The smallest thing can set my daughter off and if she doesnt get her way she will throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming, its difficult to ignore such behaviour. At times there is nothin i can do so i just walk out the room till she's calm. U definately need support from ur health visitor, and its not right she is ignoring or not returning ur calls. Maybe a trip to ur doctor would be helpful, ask for a different health visitor. Its only natural the way u feel after a difficult pregnancy and sounds like uve been through a lot. Try not to be too hard on urself, its ur health visitors job to help u with any difficulties u have, she's not doing her job. Wish i could help u more x