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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

I’m a full-on, total geek, would-wreck-anyone-in-trivia
superfan. I read the books and watch the movies again and again, and may or may
not have a teensy bit of a crush on Sirius Black. I have a JK Rowling autograph
framed above my desk, have seen her speak at Radio City Music Hall, and was
among the legions of fans waiting in line at midnight to buy the new books and
see the movies the second they were released.

As much as I love the wizarding world, though, I understand
that it’s pretend. I don’t pace in front of the mailbox waiting for my Hogwarts
letter or try to perform summoning charms on my glasses from across the room. I
don’t try to fly on a broomstick or attempt to apparate in and out of my house.

Like I said, I understand it’s not real. Therefore, I’m not aspiring
to become a wizard.

But here’s something that many women and girls don’t understand isn’t real: Magazine
covers. Over the past week, un-retouched images of two of the world’s most
beautiful women—Cindy Crawford and Beyonce—have leaked online.

The images show
things that are familiar to anyone with a face and skin: Pores, bumps,
blemishes, stretch marks, sagging, lines. In other words, they show real human
bodies (and the ladies still look gorgeous, BTW).

Unlike Harry Potter—which is clearly sold in the FICTION
section of every bookstore—glossy magazines are sold as real, and the images in
them are presented as real. Except they’re not real—no one looks like that!
Even the people who look like that don’t look like that! No one’s skin is as
smooth as plastic! It’s fake!

It’s all fake.

And because it’s fake—even fucking Beyonce doesn’t look like
Beyonce!—it’s a ludicrous thing to aspire to. Just as it’s ludicrous for me
wave a wand and expect magic to happen, it’s ludicrous to try to exercise or
face cream or wax ourselves into magazine cover perfection. It’s a fight we
will never win because—say it with me—it’s all pretend. Can we please stop aiming for the impossible?

Monday, February 9, 2015

A few weeks ago, I told you guys that being
your own prep cook on Sunday is a great way to make weeknight meal prep a
little easier.

Here are some more ways to make cooking suck a little less, with an eye toward the parts that everyone seems to hate the most: Planning, prepping, and cleanup:

1.Think
ahead: It might make for a painful half hour, but take the time each week
before hitting the grocery store to meal plan. I usually plan for 5 nights,
realizing that one night will probably be leftovers night and one night will
we’ll get take out, go to a restaurant, order pizza, etc. If you’re the main
chef for a family full of complainers, enlist their help. Ask for a meal
request from everyone. And remember, as my friend Brianna pointed out,
breakfast for dinner is always a crowd-pleaser.

2.Drink:
Pour yourself a glass of wine and relax.

3.Use the
oven when you can: The more you cook in the oven, the less you have to tend
to on the stovetop.

4.Use a
single pan when you can: Roast a chicken in the same pan that you cook
veggies in. Do the same for things like pork loin or pot roast, too. This works
really well with harder veggies, like carrots, white and sweet potatoes,
broccoli and cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts, and gives them a lot of extra
flavor, too.

5.And when
cooking in a single pan in the oven, line that pan with aluminum foil,
parchment paper, or a silicon baking mat: Avoid foods sticking to cookie
sheets or roasting pans by using one of the above. I like silicon mats
(available anywhere, but here they are on Amazon) because they’re
reusable, can go in a dishwasher, can withstand crazy-high heat, and nothing—I
mean nothing—ever sticks to them. Depending on what you cook, you might not
have to wash the pans at all; just wait for the liner to cool and put the pan
away (you'll have to wash the liner, though, lazybones!)

6.Make a
lot: Double recipes when you can and freeze the extras. I do this a lot
with pancakes.

7.Think
tacos: Whether you have leftover roasted chicken, beef, pork, or veggies
(or all four) make leftovers tacos part of your meal plan, and add taco
shells and fixins to your weekly grocery list. On taco night, mix your
leftovers with taco seasoning or salsa for more flavor.

8.Learn to
love eggs: Eggs are so versatile and easy. You can make
everything-but-the-kitchen sink omelets, frittata, scrambled eggs, or quiche by
adding whatever leftovers you’ve got hanging around into your egg dish. Throw
in everything from leftover deli meat and cheese, veggies, bacon, etc. I
sometimes also hard boil a shitload of eggs all at once and save them in the
fridge for egg salad sandwiches for dinner (add some of your pre-prepped
veggies for sides) or just for snacking.

9.Screw
cookbooks: If you hate to cook, don’t bother buying cookbooks or cooking
magazines. Instead, buy a three-ring binder and hit the library. Bring home a
couple of cookbooks and experiment. Before you return the books, use the
library’s copy machine to make photocopies of the recipes you liked and store
them in the three-ring binder.

10.Embrace the staples: It’s super helpful to have a handful of easy, know-them-by heart,
go-to staple recipes that you know your whole family likes for nights when you’re
really tapped for ideas. In my house it’s ravioli with mushrooms and spinach;
chicken pot pie; and breakfast for dinner!