Three daycare workers in Delaware have been arrested for allegedly “encouraging toddlers under their watch to fight for sport.” Whoa, ladies, what are you trying to do, win the award for awesomest day care ever?! THE FIRST RULE OF TODDLER FIGHT CLUB IS… YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO POSSESS THE VOCABULARY NEEDED TALK ABOUT TODDLER FIGHT CLUB!

According to police, Tiana Harris, 19, Lisa Parker, 47, and Estefania Myers, 21, were captured in a cell phone video egging on two three-year-old children to get physical for the fun of it at the Hands of Our Future Daycare in Dover, Delaware.
In the footage, taken in March, a toddler’s voice is heard crying out in pain, ‘He’s pinching me,’ as the little one tries to break free from a scuffle with another youngster.
Shockingly, the voice of one of the workers responds, ‘No pinching, only punching’ as the worker guides the child to stay in the fight zone at the center.

7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.

‘Clearly one of the children is crying and does not want to continue on and he is pushed back into the fray by one of the adults,’ Dover Police Captain Tim Stump told KYW-TV.

3rd RULE: If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out the fight is over. Okay, I think they might have actually broken this one.

A mother of a child at the same day care, Cristyl Slack, said that her four-year-old daughter was in the room and witnessed the attack when the fight happened in March.
‘I can’t ever believe in a million years,’ another stunned mother, Amy Bickling, said, ‘I mean I would have to see the proof to believe it.’
The fight footage is considered evidence in the case and is not being showed to the public or parents.

The Dover child care facility has had its license suspended over the incident, pending a hearing. A City of Dover Code Enforcement sign was posted to the door reading: ‘Danger. This structure is declared unsafe for human occupancy or use. It is unlawful for any person to use or occupy this building. Any unauthorized person removing this sign will be prosecuted.’

I’m with the mother, I’d like to see the video. In this Disney Channel world we’ve created, who knows, playing tag too hard could be considered an underground fight club. And anyway, I’d rather have my kids fight to the death than see them grow up to play competitive quidditch. Or maybe they were actually throwing real punches like the report says. Big deal, they were probably just playing Duck-Duck-Snitch.

All right- if the applicant is young, tell him he’s too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without a juicebox, blankey, or encouragement he may then enter and begin naptime

if the applicant is young, tell him he’s too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without num-nums, bankie, or uppies he may then enter and begin his potty training.

Toddler Durden: Fuck daycare, man! Fuck naptime! We are our parent’s unwanted children? So be it!
Narrator: OK. Give me some water!
Toddler Durden: Listen, you can run water over your diaper rash and make it worse or…
[shouts]
Toddler Durden: look at me… or you can use the aloe treated wipes and neutralize the burn.
Narrator: Please let me have them… *Please*!
Toddler Durden: First you have to give up, first you have to *know*… not fear… *know*… that someday you’re gonna cry.

Fuck off with your baby bjorns and outfits from Jack and Janie, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let… lets evolve, let…hey Billy! Take that diaper off your head and put it back on your sister!

“Do you know what a pram is?”
“It’s a carriage…”
It’s a stroller. Just a stroller. Now why do guys like you and me know what a pram is? Is this essential to our survival, in the gerber-formula sense of the word? No.

Really poorly written, I found the parts in blue the only parts worth actually taking attention too, most likely writtten by some one else. The mention of Quidditch at the end was just random and not related to the story at all, trying to put down Potter the author must clearly be Team Twilight that would explain the quality of the writing.

I didn’t put down Potter (oh man, you even abbreviate it, you must be so hip), I put down Northeastern private school kids who made an organized sport out of a story about wizards chasing a magic ball around on broomstick from a children’s book. But yes, clearly it’s all because I’m a jealous Twihard. In this world, you’re either pro-Twilight or pro-Potter, with no room for books written for adults. That’s a very black and white world view you have there.

But congratulations on gradually inferring the concept of blockquotes. Please, stick around, I’m sure this will lead to a positive dialog.

Ironically, Fight Club was supposed (or at least hinted) to have taken place in Delaware as well. For a state whose proudest acheivement right now is Ryan Phillipe, they’ll take all the excitement they can get.