Sauron to run for President

Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor and Nameless Enemy has announced his plans to stand for President of the United States.

In a statement released from the Dark Tower yesterday, he said he will abandon his frankly childish vendetta against anyone named Baggins and instead encourage his supporters - mostly orcs - to get behind an attempt to unseat the incumbent, Barack Obama.

With the support of former wizard Saruman, the Lord of the Rings is currently just ahead in the congressional race in the state of Nebraska, from where he hopes to launch his bid for the Presidency.

"2014, or 77352 in the year of Ealendil, as I like to think of it, will be our year!" the Witch-King of Angmar, Sauron's media coordinator told a group of journalists and trolls, mostly indistinct from each other.

"oh, and please let me clear up this point; just because Lord Sauron has a backgound in laying waste huge areas, burning homesteads and ruling with an iron fist and with fear as his ally, that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't also a Republican, a churchgoer and a family man, God Bless America."