Why It’s Not Just a TV Show: How Portrayals in The Media are a Matter of Life and Death

When the LGBT Fans Deserve Better movement began in response to the death of the queer character Lexa on The 100, a conversation emerged over Twitter regarding the necessity of the movement. Some argued that the focus and energy would be better utilized in real world situations, specifically mentioning the beheading of queer people in the Middle East by ISIS. Others argued that LGBT characters didn’t need to be treated with respect because television was under no obligation to be better than reality.

There is an important correlation between fictional portrayals and real life events that many have yet to acknowledge. They are not separate or mutually exclusive from our experiences. It is not merely a TV show because media doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It influences, touches and affects real life, even if we don’t care to admit it. Most people feel above the media influence and don’t realize how engraved its messages have become in our subconscious. It simply doesn’t matter that Lexa herself was not “real” because the people experiencing her are real.

Emotions are not any less valid because they are triggered by stories. Every day we engage with each other and we share our experiences or the experiences of others through stories. Some stories are fun, some boring, some exciting, and some tragic. Human beings have been telling stories since even before we developed language, when we drew paintings on caves. We use them to express ourselves, we use them to discover ourselves, and we use them to inspire ourselves.

The media, however, has been using them more and more to shock, to anger, to elicit horror or fear. We’ve grown used to these types of stories playing out on our televisions and have even become desensitized to them, forcing storytellers to push the envelope further and further to cause bigger reactions. TV has become a game of who can provoke the worst reaction from the audience. While it can be a fun experience for many, unfortunately, it leaves minorities scrambling for better representation because they’re often cast as secondary characters who are the first ones to be killed.

Autostraddle wrote two revealing articles regarding queer female characters on TV. One counted the amount of lesbian and bisexual characters who were killed, and the other counted the number of lesbian and bisexual characters who received happy endings. 152 were killed and while that might not seem like a high figure, when you compare it to the 29 who received happy endings — it’s abysmal. It sends a disproportional message to an already vulnerable queer audience that misery is common and expected.

When non-queer people are raised in homophobic atmospheres in their home and don’t see a counter example in the media, it begins to shape their beliefs. This then affects the way they react and respond to queer people in their lives. When cities and even countries have rampant homophobia, queer people stay closeted out of fear for their safety. This ensures that homophobic people don’t get access to positive and personal connections with known gay people, which can help provide an antidote for ignorance and hate. Instead, lack of genuine experiences with queer people perpetuates their negative beliefs because for them it continues to be those “other” people. This is where TV and the overall media come in. Through positive portrayals it removes the “other”ness of the other.

Going back to one of the original counter arguments against the LGBT Fans Deserve Better movement, I would like to pose a question. Would Isis behead queer people if they had grown up with positive stories and portrayals of queer people in their books, movies and shows? Would it have come about if the culture wasn’t so heavily influenced by negative stories? The reason why they are beheading queer people is because they grew up with the type of narrative that justifies their actions, at least to themselves. All they have heard are stories of perversions and pedophilia. These are the stories that get passed down from generation to generation and the media perpetuates them instead of offering a more humane and accurate alternative. That’s why they respond the way they do because stories shape our expectations of others and therefore our behavior toward them.

Back in February of 2012, George Zimmeman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, a black teenager who was simply walking home from the store while wearing a black hoodie. Zimmerman, who was sitting in his car at the time, believed that the boy looked as if he posed a threat to him and his gated neighborhood. He immediately called the police and the dispatcher advised him to stay in his car until police arrived to investigate the situation. Zimmerman did not listen but instead confronted Martin, eventually shooting him point blank and killing him.

What kind of stories was Zimmerman told about black males in hoodies? What threat did Martin, an unarmed 17-year-old boy, hold for a 28-year old man with a gun? Who did Zimmerman really shoot? A teenager walking home from the store or the threat of the scary black male who is often depicted as a criminal? There are countless stories of unarmed black males who were killed by white police officers. While the media isn’t completely to blame for this, it hasn’t helped either. Instead it has created an atmosphere of negative racial expectation through the black criminal stereotype that is often depicted on TV.

The media, specifically, how we tell stories in the media, play a huge role in shaping cultural bias toward minority groups. They tell the wider audience that these people over here are good and these people over there are bad. Stories influence feelings, assumptions, actions, and beliefs. When we fail to recognize or acknowledge the power the media has over society we become careless in its use, which leads to harmful consequences. However, when we put it to better use, it can have real life benefits as well.

It is no surprise that the rise of the number of queer people on TV corresponded with the rise of public poll numbers for marriage equality. In a poll published in The Hollywood Reporter 27% of people polled said queer TV shows like Modern Family and Glee influenced them to be more pro-gay marriage, while only 2% said the shows made them more anti-same-sex marriage. Even former republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney’s supporters admitted to changing their minds because of those shows. In other words, people who didn’t have access to queer people in their real lives connected with the representations of them through characters on TV, thus making them change their attitudes and beliefs. Being able to laugh with them, cry for them, and see them as human beings, touched on a very real humane emotion: compassion.

Image credit: glaad.org

The stories we tell and retell shape our lives. Positive portrayals on TV are important for minorities because TV is an intimate form of media. It’s in your house, and now, in the palm of your hand. You can lie in bed and watch shows on your phone. The characters enter your house, your bedroom. They’re in your sacred spaces, inviting you to their intimate moments. It becomes a personal experience. We feel for the characters we watch. We care for them in the same way we would care for those we know in our real lives. Emotions don’t know the difference between a real experience and a fake one. Anger is anger, sadness is sadness, regardless of what triggers them.

When we come across people in our own lives who look, act, or feel like those characters we are used to seeing on the screen, we are likely to associate them with our previous experiences in the media. If we don’t have a lot of real life experience with people from other groups, the media will shape our understanding and expectations of them.

The natural antidote to ignorance is travel; it’s meeting new people and staying open-minded to new experiences. However, not everyone has the luxury of doing that. A lot of people are stuck in their physical environments, surrounded by people who are similar to themselves. This is where the media comes in. It is a form of mental traveling, full of experiences we are unlikely to have in our real lives. However, how likely are we to stay open-minded if the media constantly tells us that the world is violent, evil, and full of people who want to do us harm? What kind of expectation will that create in meeting new people? If the media continues to perpetuate fear, anxiety, and xenophobia it will be minorities who will continue to pay the price.

Harvey Milk was right, we change the world by coming out, by being ourselves. By showing people that we are their sisters, brothers, uncles, neighbors, co-workers, teachers. That we are like everyone else in how we feel and live. Personal connections are important to changing people’s minds and hearts. If it can’t be accomplished because of an unsafe environment, then we need the media to participate in making it safer. We need the media to show counter examples of the negative stories we tell culturally. We need the media to offer representation that produces better conversations through better examples.

What is the media other than the medium through which we filter and reflect the stories of our lives? Now more than ever we need the media to do better because it is, in fact, a matter of life and death.

Emily Maroutian is a writer, poet, and philosopher. She is the author of several books and the owner of Maroutian Ent., a media company that focuses on personal, social, and global transformation and empowerment through books, courses, and projects.

8 Responses

Thank you so much for writing this. I have been trying to explain this exact thing to people over and over again. It does affect lives very strongly. Looking at my own life is the easiest example. My parents were always very open to gay people, on many occasions flat out said that it wouldn’t matter to them if I was gay.

There was no reason at all to doubt it but in trying to figure out my own sexuality I got exposed to a lot of stories, because that is in my experience how most LGBT people try to figure it out, by trying to find something that is like them. Most of those stories were rather negative and often coming out stories seen in the media are horrible experience for the characters. So while rationally there would be nothing to indicate my parents wouldn’t accept me, I was scared, no terrified to come out. What if they wouldn’t accept me, what if they hated me, what if they kicked me out?

In the end nobody batted an eye when I came out (well later my mom told me she had some sleepless nights trying to envision a new future for me but she was always a worrier, she never loved me any less). That may be because I come from a country where we are more accepted but still I was terrified for months over nothing. That is the power that media has and it is important to recognize that. Thank you for pointing it out, it was a really good read.

Thank you for writing this. Television has such a strong influence and it gives queer people visibility to those who would prefer to not see us. That’s so important and transformative and I wish showrunners, especially showrunners who claim to be advocates for the LGBT community would actually take this into account as they write our representation into their stories.

This slew of queer girls dying on my TV has been painfully upsetting, but worse than the characters dying is the rigidity of the showrunners in defending their shows rather than opening themselves up to a very important conversation on how they could be making a positive impact for the LGBT community.

People who don’t get it or don’t want to get it make me lose faith so it’s nice to see articles like this. I hope the next season of television is more aware and more considerate of these issues and the power they hold with their platform.

This is a great article. I think everybody should to read it. If you don’t mind I would like to translate your article to Russian language because a lot of people from Russia, Belarus, Ukraine etc are so homophobic and ignorant. They think that ‘a gay’ and ‘a pedophile’ are same things… It’s terrible.
I’m not a gay, but I have many LGBT friends. And I feel frustration, anger and helplessness when the stupid homophobic people humiliate them. People hate people who are not like them. We need to talk more about this issue.
Thank you for this article!

Thanks for writing this. And I have to agree with JMP, I never really reflected much on the influence of media after I came out, but it sure left it’s marks. I’ve already said this elsewhere, but I live in a country that is quite possibly one of the most accepting ones of LGBTQ people. Yet even here you hear stories of a lesbian couple assaulted in the early morning hours after a night of celebration. You still hear of regions in the country that are called something akin to the ‘bible belt’ that have a hard time accepting same sex relationships. Young queer people are still kicked out of their homes and around the time I was realizing I identified as lesbian myself, a program just aired which followed and helped young queers like myself in coming out to their parents. It scared the hell out of me, with my family all being catholics and especially my grandmother being a firm believer and practitioner of the religion.

Combined with the lack of positive representation in media that I could find, it brought an irrational fear. I planned for a worst case scenario, listed the things I’d have to change like insurance, postal adress, moving to a more affordable student room, basically by the time I was coming out to my parents I was on a rationally ready to severe all contact with them and emotionally prepared myself to do just that.

To this day I haven’t been able to tell them the full extent of what I went through. Lexa dieing at least opened a conversation with my mother on the issue for the first time since I came out five years ago. I even managed to tell her how until last year or so I had felt a distance between my grandmother and I that started after they told her. Grandma hasn’t voiced her beliefs to me out loud, but I sure can feel the change now five years later. As she says goodbye she holds on just a little longer than before, one extra kiss on the cheek, a firm stare with the word to stay strong or something similar. These little things mean the world to me.

For all the fears I had, my mother’s reaction to me just blurting “I’m a lesbian” in the car ride home was probably the best. She told me that if she hadn’t met my dad, she most likely would have been chasing skirts instead.

Thanks, very interesting read. I think TV (film and all media) over the years has always had questions of portrayal (even within live mediums, such as news stations, presenters used etc), to answer to, although it hasn’t always done so, whether intentionally or otherwise. For any movement/group, or set of individuals that want to raise awareness to highlight imbalances in the media AND life areas too, I stand and suport them. The only time supporting voices can be difficult is when they have a negative tone running through their dialogue, as I don’t think combating one side of (inflicting) negativity with another side of negativity (even be it from a supressed POV) works as well, or isn’t as productive shall we say. Fighting those that are supressing or invalidating needs to be done in a way that shows humanity, as otherwise if both sides come to look as bad as each other (even if one is the main bad in origin) then sometimes the true victim(s) can become blurred (and that should never be allowed to happen when real victims need to be seriously heard).

Fighting against media people/organisations that continuously ignore or negatively construct bad representations (intentionally or through lazy fashion) is a MUST, but should alyways be done in a way that is firm but not intimidating. Intimidating is what the other side do, and to show you ARE BETTER than the other side of ignorant and/or oppressed individuals, you MUST NOT replicate their mindset, way of conducting themselves or how they typicallty treat others. Don’t let certain other become victims because you handed it to them by misplacing the real goal/vision. There will always be people that don’t get it, and choose actively not to, but they shouldn’t change the positivity of others in moving forward or conversing respectfully with those that can be educated on their life long misconceptions.

There are so many positive and good voices in movements, like say the LGBT Fans Deserve Better campaign, but when some individuals (within any movement) start to be too agressive and let their frustrations overspill to areas that shouldn’t be targeted, then the message can lose it’s direction somewhat and even its credibility. Keep focused, active and always mindful in every step, and then people will take real note and do so with respective admiration. If their are trolls in your midst (like hijacking homophobes pretending to be your ally but sabataging you from within), or just misguided allys, then erradicate them (or their behaviour) and make it known at all times you are only aligned to a message of equality, progress, love and whatever other fairness you stand for. Don’t allow anyone, in or outside a movement to divide an conquer because then nothing changes and nothing can move forward.

Creating further constructive debate (from things that occur and spark an opportunity for such conversation like storylines in tv) is much needed and can only serve to keep message alive that should never be forgotten and neglected in addressing

All those that have donated to things like the Trevor Project have been amazing and I support those types of individuals that put into action what they feel. Sitting behind a computer just stewing is when things can spiral, and actually applying your feeling of injustice is what actually changes the world in the short/long run. You can be strong in applying something of change, but there has to be full respect and full consideration when doing so. If we as minorities can do this, we can educate those that are ignorant and blind about misusing/mistreating us in a way that they can listen and engage fully with.

If you forgive and educate those that do you wrong, they will be humbled by your kindness in helping them to be better in what they are and do. If you act in an manner opposite manner, you (unintentionally) fuel and reinforce their prejudices against you and their feeling of right to do so.

Media (and it’s reflection of life) can only become more balanced if real life people are more balanced individuasl too. This requires education and kindness to one another. This is what will help all sides be better and fairer overall one day to seek those needed changes that have too long tipped one way. Hopefully tomorrows goals will be todays’ goals all too soon, and people power and unity can fulfil that.

If you can’t handle a death in a TV show, perhaps you should consider re-evaluating the rating and stick to kids only showings since you get offended so easily.
I’m lesbian.
I’m literally laughing at this ridiculous trend on twitter, because that’s what it is. Ridiculous. Of course, I was sad to see the beloved character die. But seriously? Taking it to this extent?

Why isn’t there a uproar of the amount of straight whites that are killed in shows / movies?
I didn’t know that they were more disposable. Because that’s the only thing this twitter trend is implying.
Directors aren’t going to look at stats of gender/race/sexuality roles and decide that “Hey, a Non-gender identifying polynorm black male hasn’t been killed in a lead role yet. Lets do that.” or “Hey, based on other shows, a white male in a leading role hasn’t been killed yet. Let’s do that to appeal to our sensitive fans”

I get people looked up to her as a role model for the lgbt community.
The show has murder left and right.
They made it clear from the beginning that the story line would be unpredictable. Lead roles die.
It appeals to viewers and adds to the shock factor when lead roles die.
I’m sure that the CW is very sorry for not reviewing every little statistic about which gender/race/sexualitys turn it was next to be killed.

Judging by your reply it’s clear that you didn’t actually read the article because if you had you would know that the article’s main focus is on how OTHERS view and treat minorities based on the stories they see and hear in the media. The point of the article is to make a case for better representation for minorities within the media because it affects us in our real lives.

Lexa is mentioned once, in one line, in the beginning of the article to give context as to why I began writing it. It’s not about her. But you only focused on one line of a whole article making another point. A point you, as a lesbian, should also be concerned about because it’s about how others view you too. But instead you decided to come into the comments section and bash a movement you don’t or refuse to understand, even when it’s in your best interest as well.

This article is not about minorities watching themselves on TV and “changing” the channel when they get offended, although that should be a whole other article in itself. This article is about how the media affects the way we are treated in our real lives through the stories it tells about us. It sounds a lot like you too were affected by these negative stories because here you are insulting and offended your own community because you don’t understand something on a deeper level. And instead of asking questions, inquiring, and looking more deeply into it, you decided the best course of action would be to insult and belittle your own community.

I don’t know you or what you’ve been through in your life but this is not the place or movement to take it out on. This movement for better representation in the media is not going away anytime soon and will benefit you and other minorities in the long run. And your comment only reassures me that it is MUCH needed. So thank you for that and I wish you well. I really do.