‘Survivor: Cagayan’ May Just Be The Most Entertaining Season Ever

Since I feel like it’s season 200 of ‘Survivor,’ my expectations aren’t especially high for entertaining, amazing, drama — but the season premiere of ‘Survivor: Cagayan’ proved me wrong.

Survivor: Cagayan has taken the three qualities that have been valuable in past seasons and made them into tribes — Beauty V. Brains V. Brawn. However, the Feb. 26 premiere proved that not only does being “book smart” not matter in the jungle, but having looks and being buff actually do help. Psst — don’t read on if you haven’t watched yet!

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Premiere — WTF?

There aren’t celebrities, there aren’t AllStars — season 28 of Survivor is all new. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t already cat fights, rice burning and of course, a great deal of lying.

After being introduced to the different tribes, host Jeff Probst drew the line in the sand right away — each group had to pick a leader, then the leader had to pick the weakest player. Let me remind you — the teams are made up of Brains, Beauty, and Brawn. Instead of running down what happened on the premiere, I’ll give you a rundown of what I’m expecting to see, and who I’ve got a feeling will be voted off sooner than later.

BRAINS: Don’t Rule Them Out, Yet (But They Should Change Their Name)

The Brains tribe pretty much sucks and really doesn’t know how to play the game . . . in episode one. However, their “leader” David Samsonand their “weakest player” Garrett Adelstein both have already gone home. So I wouldn’t count them out just yet. The tribe clearly saw how much Garrett sucked when they voted him out over J’Tia Taylor even after she pulled a Brandon Hantz and SHE POURED OUT ALL THEIR RICE AND ADMITTED IT. Sure, she can’t swim, or do puzzles, or build anything (even though she’s an engineer), but at least she knows what game she’s playing. I’m not sure Garrett had ever even seen an episode of Survivor, so the team is probably better without him, even though he was the only one with any muscles so the physical challenges may be rough. My bet is that Kass McQuillen will be the leader of this tribe and Spencer Bledsoe seems pretty intelligent and quiet, so he may be overshadowed through the season allowing him to make it pretty far.

BEAUTY: Pretty & Pretty Much Screwed

Naturally, the Beauty tribe is full of “pretty” people. While Morgan McLeod was voted the weakest in the beginning, she went on to prove that throughout the episode. She chose not to go for another bag of rice for her tribe but instead to follow the clues to the Immunity Idol… but couldn’t find it while scaling a mountain in her bra and underwear. She said over and over and over again through the episode that basically she was planning on sleeping her way to the top of the tribe, but I think she’s smarter than she lets on. However, for this tribe my eye is on LJ McKanas, and not just because he’s a beautiful human. He looks great, he’s strong, and he’s not stupid — he nailed that puzzle in the second challenge. Other than that, I’m also into Morgan’s BFF Brice Johnston, just because I know he’ll do some serious backstabbing this season and it’ll be hilarious in those purple pants.

BRAWN: Pick Things Up & Put Things Down . . . And Win

Overall, I’ve got a feeling that the Brawn tribe is going to come out on top. You have Sarah Lacina and Tony Vlachos, who are both cops. NJ native Tony is my favorite of this tribe and of the season so far. He lied about being a cop, but instead of coming off as scheming, it was actually hysterical and pretty smart. I mean, he built a SPY SHACK and in next week’s promo is seen actually spying in it. Somehow while the rest of them are freezing in the ridiculous weather that will fill the season, he looks nice and warm in his shack. So I’m hoping Sarah teams up with him and they rule the world, err, the season, since he tells her he’s a police officer next week. Also, Cliff Robinson lands on my notable mention list because he’s a freakin’ NBA alum and unlike Jeff Kent, the MLB Hall of Famer who starred in Survivor: Philippines, Cliff actually knows how to keep his mouth shut — a quality that had Jeff had, he could have made it to the end. Cliff won’t win the season, but he’s on a good track to make it far — for now. The team also consists of a badass hairstylist Lindsey Ogle, who may just become the villain of the team off the bat — and I’d be terrified of her.

HollywoodLifers, what did you think of the premiere of Survivor: Cagayan? Do you think it’ll be an entertaining season? Which tribe do you think is the best?