When they heard our news, my elderly parents drove all the way (all on their own) to visit us at our new house in East Lothian. They stopped off at White Stuff in Edinburgh city centre on the way. There they bought me a beautiful new season tunic dress. I loved the cream material decorated with tiny line drawings of raspberry red flowers.

I hoped that the parents would manage the narrow staircase in our house. Each time I climbed it I worried that I was too fat to safely make it round the turn. One day I would get stuck and that would be the end of me!

My driving skills, however, posed an even greater danger. I’d bought back our old car (much to TPR’s annoyance) and forgotten the basics of how to handle any vehicle, let alone one that was a write-off off six months ago. Nobody on the roads was safe when I took to my new (old) wheels.