A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man in a pub asks for a beer. The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one quarter." "One quarter?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?" "Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be one dollar." "One dollar?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"." The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?" The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain." The women laugh and continue up to the second floor. The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain." Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor. "All men here are short and handsome." The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome." This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realize that there is still one more floor. They go up one floor and read the sign. "There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his teacher every day, when he came to school, "I'm getting a brother." One day his mom allowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didn't say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happened to his brother. He replied, "I think mommy ate him."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor in the hospital, who just had a very serious traffic accident. He doesn't look like very much: in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. he looks like a mummy. John tries to have a conversation, but his neighbor has his eyes closed and isn't responding. Suddenly his eyes jump wide open and he starts to gurgle and during his last gasp for air he says: "Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, Pezzo di merda ...." John inscribes the words in his heart. At the funeral John tells the black-clad widow that her husband had something to say. 'And, she asks with tearful eyes,"was it that he loved me? " "I do not know," said the man, "but it sounded like Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, pezzo di merda ...." The widow screams and faints. "What?" John ask startled to the daughter, "what did he say, what does that mean?" And the crying daughter says: "You are standing on my oxygen hose, you idiot."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

You know, spell check does NOT like Italian for some reason.

Every one of those Italian words are misspelled.

So is "everyboomie."

I guess that's Italian too. Who knew?

MaMa Mia!!

My days off are over, so I'm back on today.

Waa Hoo I go back on at 5:00am, so I'm up at 3:30am, so I'm down just as soon as I can get there.

The BIG problem is that I can't get the sun to go down any sooner, and it's staying up later and later as we get into Summer.

He's a veritable night owl.

I am a night sparrow.

Sorry about the cheep joke.

Have a happy day everyone..

joe

Edited by gymcandy1 (07/12/1310:45 PM)

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"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Tenants whose daughter from Seattle has been here since at least Thursday (probably longer since I wasn't watching), now have Son and kids from LA and maybe his new girlfriend too. At minimum that's 7 people staying in a small 2 bedroom house for several days.

I'm seriously considering an ultimatum about the sewer pump which, IF it fails while all this company is there, might just be THEIR responsibility to fix. Really thinking about this one. Every year, when they have a ton of company and lots of parties with relatives coming in from all over, that pump has problems. Costs me 600-800 or more each time. I guess I've had it after the baby wipes incident. Gonna be thinking of solutions that will work.

AND fun in the neighborhood: That neighbor across who I'm predicting is avoiding me because he thinks I called the police on his party with the firecrackers, is now confirmed on my suspicions. Friend and I were walking home from the daily walk, deliberately avoiding that side of the street, saw him working in the yard (as usual) right at the front fence. THEN he spotted US, and literally DOVE for the ground and hid behind a bird of paradise plant until we were 'safely' out of sight. I laughed so hard. This is getting to be very entertaining. Geez, grown man, hiding behind a plant? Funnnny!

Soot and I are back from our morning park run. It was sooooo humid out there, but thankfully we had clouds to cool it down a bit. We saw some of our "regulars" from our early morning walks.

Home to clean up and feed everyone. Now Soot is out erranding and I'm sitting and surfing before I go do some baking. I have bananas that need baking and need to make bread. I love summer cause bread rises so easily and so well. I'm going to make Pumpkin Yeast bread. I've never heard of it before so will try it out.

We watched the new Bruce Willis Die Hard movie last night. We concluded it was a good movie for $1.29 but were extremely glad we didn't catch it in the theater. That seems to be true for most movies for us these days.

Ana, you go! We all know you'll make us proud

I'll be back when the bread is rising....

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras