Archives

Archive for the ‘THE KARATE KID’ Category

Oh boy, so CHOPPAH took one for all you li’l CHOPlings out there. That’s right, ol’ CHOP subjected himself to the new KARATE KID (nee KUNG FU KID) last weekend. CHOPPAH knows it’s sacrilege, and CHOPPAH hopes my old TalkBack adversary/chum Cobra–Kai isn’t ashamed of me. But hey, THE CHOPPAH’s a fucking professional, and what do professionals do? They know their fucking enemies, and this movie is an enemy of all those who would rather shit on mediocrity than indulge it.

This flick is pretty much a beat-for-beat remake, but with loads of noticeable flab around the edges. For instance, instead of letting Daniel figure out why Mr. Miyagi is all drunk and depressed, Li’l Smiff (you are no Ralph Macchio, young man!) and his Mr. Miyagi (Jackie Chan’s Mr. Han, a name that lacks the endearing poetry of Miyagi) have a weepy scene that tells us everything we could have figured out from a few newspaper clippings. The mom’s role is also expanded, but CHOPPAH didn’t mind it that much since Taraji P. Henson is damned fine. CHOPPAH’d like to see more of her, if you catch CHOPPAH’s drift.