…because moms are geeky too…

Monthly Archives: June 2012

WE Comics wheels out its latest all ages adventure, “Jimmy Brass: 2nd Grade Detective,” written by Jake Dickerman and illustrated by Jason Pruett.

Drawn in bold black in white like a film noir version of a “Nancy” comic strip, Dickerman found a way to hook the reader with an early on “what the what???” moment involving honor student, Molly Thorne, who may or may not be losing her mind with visions of…monsters.

Enter Jimmy Brass, a pint-sized Sam Spade complete with a signature fedora and wisecracking inner monologue complete, Sherlockian methodology (with borrowed catch phrases ripped from Doyle’s own works). His skills remain unappreciated however, by his own over-enthusiastic “hired muscle,” bodyguard, and little sister, Opal. Brass suspects monsters may not be the trouble at all, but that something much bigger is behind Molly’s madness, which just happens to come only days before the big spelling bee. And, he is determined to crack the case.

This a great “read it together” choice for young readers and parents, as it has fast-tongued dialogue for kids with inside references for grown up movie and sci-fi buffs (the monster-hunting pair of thorns in Brass’s side bear a striking resemblance to a pair of UFO-hunting FBI agents from the 90s).

There were a couple of jewels of one-liners, too. My personal favorite being “Out of my way or my kindergartener will beat you” — a line I hope to use myself in the future.

The book had its kinks to work out, primarily in the design department. Most distracting was the use of heavy shadows and black background. I understood and appreciated the need for this effect, but they went a little over the top on the white text on black at times…that just gets uncomfortable to read when over used. Also, I’ve found in trying to keep the plot moving fast, the author missed some golden opportunities for deeper character development; something I’m hoping Dickerman plans on paying more attention to as the story unfolds in future issues.

I could tell the both Dickerman and Pruett were genuine fans of the mystery/detective genre, and this could be a great bridge getting kids into it as well. I also appreciated how well they were able to wrap up the immediate mystery at hand, as well as add a nice “cliff hanger” ending. With the tendency for young readers to have short attention spans, I feel these elements just might work together to keep them sleuthing along with Brass and Opal.

Now let’s see what my resident “young reader” Molly Kay Tate, age 10, had to say:

I really liked all of the book and I want to read it again. Jimmy reminded me of Sherlock Holmes in the way he acted and talked, so I recommend this book to my Dad and everyone else who likes Sherlock books and movies. My favorite character, though, was Opal because I thought she was really cool and funny.

I think the funniest part was when the Monster Squad was trying to stop Jimmy from entering the crime scene and he said he would have his kindergartener beat them if they didn’t let him by. I did want to learn more about the man with teddy bear at the end, though, but I guess I will have to wait until the next issue.

Honestly, there wasn’t anything at all I didn’t like about the story. I loved it.

Wow. There you have it, a pretty glowing review from one who knows her kids’ comics. Although I think the teddy bear at the end was really a honey badger, but you know, if Honey Badger don’t care, neither do I.

One of the niftiest times in my geek-savvy family is when my husband sits down with my daughters to play a little Portal 2…and the light-hearted smack talk begins. Mostly it’s sassing back to GlaDOS or Wheatley, but often it’s towards each other in the form or back seat portal-gunning or well-intentioned directional criticism.

It may be just an evening’s game-time for them now, but my well-honed mother senses know it’s fodder for priceless memories in the future. Ergo, instead of a card this Father’s Day, we put together a mega-simple reminder of how much this family game “together time” means: Portal 2 charms.

What you need:

Two bottle caps (any kind, I won’t judge)

Two pipe cleaners (one yellow, one blue)

Clear-drying epoxy, dimensional paint or glitter glue

Cardboard (about and 1”x 1” piece)

Sharpie or other fine tip permanent markers

What you don’t have lying around the house you can pick up in the craft section at Wally World, or any craft or school supply store.

Step One: Making the Message

Cut a little heart, circle or square (about the size of a nickel) out of the cardboard and use the Sharpie to write a brief message; “I Love You, Dad,” “Happy Father’s Day” “The Cake is a Lie,” then cut it in half, lengthwise. Easy enough, right?

Step Two: Creating the “Portals”

Take a small section of pipe cleaner in either color and make a small enough circle to fit just inside the inner edge of the bottle cap. Do the same with the other color, and then set them aside.

Fill each bottle cap not quite to the edge with the epoxy or paint (glow in the dark glitter glue works great for this). Gently place one piper cleaner on top of the epoxy and lightly push it down so it is good-and-adhered inside the cap. Repeat this with the other color pipe cleaner on the other cap.

Step Three: Sending the Message

Place one half of the cardboard message in the center of each cap as if you are passing it through the portal. Now, do some “clean up” and see if there are any gaps (i.e. around the edge of the heart) that need some additional drops of epoxy. Once everything looks good, sprinkle a little glitter (if you’re into that sort of thing) to give it some more “glow”.

Finally — and here’s the hardest part if you have anxious kids — let it dry in a safe place for a couple of hours (some epoxy types even suggest overnight) before you manhandle the message.You can add adhesive magnet or scrapbooking squares to the back of these (we made magnets). If you’d rather have a charm, lightly hammer a small hole in the top of the bottle cap using a small nail prior to starting the craft.

Tip: these are also a great gamer substitutes to those “BFF” charms to share with friends, cousins, significant others or fellow Aperture Industry lab rats. In fact, you can even use a store-bought metal “best friends” charm if you don’t feel like dealing with cutting little cardboard hearts.

Give Dad one for his workspace and keep the other with you so he will always know you have his back.

The cake may be a lie. The science may be false. You may have murdered the Companion Cube, but now Dad knows your love for him is real.

With the “Twilight” saga’s movie series finally wrapping up this fall, it is now my turn to offer my own gripe with the series: the pretty-boy wussification of the Werewolf.

First, I have to say I’m not going to use this opportunity to rip (too much) into the “Twilight” franchise. I both support and tip my hat to any book series that gets teens — and formerly non-reading adults, for that matter — passionate about reading. No matter what I personally think of the book, I have to give props to author Stephenie Meyer for hitting a literary nerve with so many readers.

Also, I have nothing against Taylor Lautner; I don’t even know the guy. Jacob (with the entire wolf clan) is cooler to me any day than pasty vampires (and the whole Native American hottie thing appeals to the cowgirl in me), but it’s simply the idea of my “pet” monster type as a teen heartthrob that just somehow rankles me.

I feel it is my duty as a parent to let these “Team Jacob” pre-teens know their favorite shirtless fleabag isn’t the first and only werewolf marking their territory in pop culture.

As such, I’ve compiled a handy list of my personal favorite lycanthropes (and a couple of others needing mention) to print out and take along for quick reference.

Why werewolves?

What can I say; I’m a dog lover.

Pup-friendly: Freely enjoy, watch or read about these with your kids:

• Professor Remus Lupin (“Harry Potter” book series) — Lupin has long been tortured by his alter ego. The third ill-fated Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the book “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” Lupin possesses a gentle, sad soul and is good friend and fierce ally for Harry and his posse. Good buds with Harry’s Godfather, Sirius Black (of whom also deserves a mention as he can willingly transfigure into a dog), you just want good things to happen to Remus. And, they do…temporarily. Remus eventually makes the ultimate sacrifice in the final battle against Voldemort, but entrusted Harry to become the Godfather to his own new son. What a noble beast.

• Clawdeen Wolf (Mattel’s Monster High doll line) — Monster High are the fashion dolls of choice for my slightly twisted daughters, and Clawdeen rules the pack. This sassy werewolf has to be bold, since she is part of a large litter of siblings (including brother Clawd and little sister Howleen) in which she has to contend, but is also ironically a cat-lover with her pet kitty, Crescent, by her side. Even though she sounds like Rosie Perez sucking helium in the line’s webisodes, she has the right ‘tude to take on both full moons and “Fearleading” competitions. Clawdeen was the center of controversy when everyone from over-protective mothers to feminists became incensed by a comment in her description that she hates having to shave her legs all the time. Really, with all the things that bait young girls, wolf humor is hardly one of them. Clawdeen is one happening bitch (oh shut up Grandma, she’s literally a girl dog).

• Wolfie (“Groovie Goolies”) The epitome of early-70s television cheese, not only did this “Archies” spin-off have an annoying sit-com style laugh track and sketch-show style ripped right from “Laugh In,” they couldn’t even spell “Ghoulies” right in the title. But as a four-year-old hyped up on (appropriately) Count Chocula in the early dawn of Saturday morning, Wolfie, was the man. Howling, charging on all fours in full tilt and sassing off in the style of (who else?) the infamous DJ Wolfman Jack, Wolfie knew how to have a good time. He owned a sweet ride, too, the Wolf Wagon.

• Wolfman (Tim Burton’s “Nightmare Before Christmas”) Although he was merely one of the many figures to make up Halloween Town only growling a few choice filler comments, I would be remiss not to mention this old-school looking wolf beautifully designed by Burton and crew. From his hunched figure to classic plaid attire, he helps make the tapestry of Burton’s landscape complete, and more pet-friendly to boot.

• “Werewolves of London” (song by Warren Zevon) — The late-great sorta-rocker’s catchiest tune about those kooky, little-old-lady mutilating werewolves who enjoy pina coladas at Trader Vic’s with immaculate grooming. A Halloween soundtrack necessity at our house, it will work its way into your cerebral cortex and you won’t get it out of your head ‘til Thanksgiving…and you will like it!

• ULTRA RARE BONUS: “Fruit Brute” (from the breakfast table) The boys of Kevin Smith’s View Askewnaverse may have lamented the inability to find Boo Berry (which you can now easily come across in the fall), this fourth addition to the General Mill’s monster cereal group was its resident werewolf. Not only was he the most adorable creature of this series, Fruit Bruit was a multi-colored mix of sugary goodness (like Fruity Pebbles but much more awesome). With all the nostalgia-tinged retro packaging coming back, why they haven’t brought back the Brute is beyond me.

You might want to keep the kiddos away from these guys for a while:

• The Wolfman — First and foremost, the classic must be mentioned. This iconic character has been portrayed again and again, first seen in a silent film in 1924, but made famous by Lon Chaney in 1941. It’s Chaney’s portrayal and image that is so readily recognized as the classic Wolfman today still, and will always be the Wolfman to which all others will be compared, in my opinion. B, C and D-grade movies have followed, as well as comics, anime series and books, not all with great success. Remember Jack Nicholson’s 1994 film, “Wolf”? Yeah, me neither.

The latest remake, starring Benicio Del Toro, however, had me scared to walk past my window at night for weeks, because these buggers were just SO FREAKING FAST. I just knew they could attack out of nowhere.

• Josh Levison (Syfy’s “Being Human”) — The North American take on the hugely popular BBC series. Josh, portrayed by nerd actor extraordinaire Sam Huntington, is currently my favorite actual werewolf for several reasons, but most of all because he is just plain funny. Fighting all stereotypes of the werewolf, Josh may be the first Jewish werewolf in history. He is also a socially inept geek with a real squeamishness about his lot in life, even though he has already accidentally changed one love interest, Nora, into a werewolf as well. Awww, how sweet…and slobbery.

• David Kessler (“American Werewolf in London”) — Cutting edge effects for its time, John Landis’s horror/comedy was one of the first films I’ve seen where I thought, “am I supposed to be laughing at this?” Even though Griffin Dunne’s ever-rotting best-friend/first victim stole the show, Kessler’s full-bodied transformation into his wolfen self was both frightening and fascinating. Please don’t be fooled by it’s horrible sequel attempt, “American Werewolf in Paris,” and just see the original…with the lights on and with friends…and a few Dr. Peppers.

• Scott Howard (“Teen Wolf” original 1985 comedy) — Suitable for teens, this fun, but low-minded comedy starring Michael J. Fox (who, for some reason has irritated me since I first laid eyes on the pipsqueak in “Family Ties”) turns the idea of the werewolf curse into an annoying family secret that tends to provoke car surfing and really bad dancing. This somehow was popular enough to evoke a short-lived animated series, poorly received sequel starring Jason Bateman before he became a decent actor and (this should go without saying) the current MTV black comedy that is doing pretty darn well in ratings. There is no link, however, between these titles and Michael Landon’s 1957 MST3K-worthy “I Was a Teenage Werewolf.”

• The residents of The Colony (“The Howling”) — Not to be outdone by Landis, Joe Dante’s 1981 adaptation of the schlock horror novel of the same name, reveals werewolves to be what we all figured, free-love murderous neo-hippies who enjoy a nice can of Wolf Brand Chili. Sorry Joe, stick to your “Gremlins.”

• The Lycans (Underworld Trilogy) — Never since the Hatfields and McCoys has there been a family feud like that of the Lycans (shape-shifting werewolves) and the vampires. This group’s back story is revealed in the third film in the series (yet technically a prequel) “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.” This race of wolves is strong, fast and viciously aggressive, and — since the race was the result of a virus — very contagious. These films get consistently bashed critically, but must have something going for them since they have a rabid (no pun intended) fan base.

Not really Werewolves, but too cool not to mention:

• Monroe (NBC’s “Grimm”) — Monroe, portrayed by Silas Weir Mitchell, is what’s known in the world of the mythological creatures (aka “Wesen”), as a Wieder Blutbad, a wolf-like race with a deservedly bad rep. Destined to remedy that image, Monroe is a mild-mannered flannel-wearing vegan peacenik who enjoys fine wine, playing his cello and pursuing a career as a clockmaker. The ideal neighbor, I would trust this guy to watch my kids anytime, but I just don’t want to get on his bad side.

• Lobo — (DC Comics) Since his first appearance in the early 80s, this profane, hardedge bounty hunter became one of comics’ favorite anti-heroes well into the ‘90s. To call this guy insane just isn’t enough. Lobo is a bat-crap crazy psycho “bastich” who can make Joker look introspective and withdrawn. I have yet to read a Lobo title where I haven’t had a least one WTF??!! moment. We don’t see much of him nowadays, but I have heard rumors of a Lobo movie in the works. Hmmm.

• Bigby Wolf (“Fables” comic series) — Paws down, Bigby is my favorite character in this Vertigo series. Bigby, writer Bill Willingham’s incarnation of the Big Bad Wolf, works in the Mundy (non-Fables) world, as a rough-edged Sam Spade-like detective. Married to Snow White, of whom he pursued from issue one, he is the son of Mr. North (The North Wind), and is one of the most complex characters in the series. If there ever is a movie made from this book, please, please, please cast Liam Neeson in the role.

Who did I leave out? Let me know what other wolves are worthy of joining the pack from my fellow-wolf lovers. Oh, and if you run across any Fruit Brute out there, let me know. I’ve got a mad craving for them now.