Literature

Pauline Marois – “The Parti Québécois does not recognise this award because her writings are clearly counter to our Charter of Values. And I’m told that she doesn’t speak french”.

Stephen Harper – “Because of my extensive literary experience gained while writing my book – and thus created thousands of Canadian jobs in bookstores from coast to coast in this great conservative land, Ms. Munro has consulted me on several occasions to run ideas by me, or just to chat, brilliant author to brilliant author.”

John Baird – “Ms. Munro would have won this award years ago if it were not for Justin Trudeau and his plan to sell pot to Canadian children!”

Mike Duffy – “Hey! There’s a chunk of cash that goes with that, right? I wonder if she could float me a few thou’…”

Peter MacKay – “I will fly her to Sweden myself in one of those spiffy new fighter jets. Oh. Wait….”

Pierre Polievere – “This award is yet another example of the success of Canada’s Economic Action Plan, brought to you by Canada’s strong, stable Conservative government and our distinguished leader, Prime Minister Stephen Harper; who, incidentally I have heard will be on the Nobel short list next year.”

Vic Toews – “I knew about this long ago.”

Tim Hudak – “Alice who? Does her son play for the Leafs.”

Rob Ford – “There’s no video. How can I comment on something that doesn’t exist? You’re from the Star, aren’t you?”

The Martian Chronicles is still one of my fave books. I think I first read it about 40 years ago and have re-read it many times since… The Million-Year Picnic is one of the finest short stories I have ever met. My old, orange cover paperback sits on my bookshelf.

And don’t forget Fahrenheit 451, Something Wicked This Way Comes, and The Illustrated Man. All classics.

Mr. Dark is still a character that freaks me out! Read Something Wicked This Way Comes if you haven’t already and you’ll agree!

Too bad Mr. Bradbury did not live to see his dream of Mars being colonised…

From the Martian Chronicles:

We Earth Men have a talent for ruining big, beautiful things. The only reason we didn’t set up hot-dog stands in the midst of the Egyptian temple of Karnak is because it was out of the way and served no large commercial purpose.