Prospectus Hit List for April 10

Hit List for April 9
Hit List for April 11Hit List updates are published Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, starting April 2, 2014. Data presented here is based on games through the day prior to publication.Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

6

2

5.9

5.6

5.2

.610

.629

17.3%

23.3%

40.6%

4.4%

13.2%

5

3

6.0

5.7

5.7

.631

.612

66.6%

12.3%

78.9%

-3.6%

3.6%

Joey Votto leads the league in walks (11 in 40 plate appearances) but still has yet to homer.

5

7

1

6.1

5.5

5.2

.629

.610

33.3%

21.9%

55.2%

4.6%

13.7%

If they can throw rookie catcher Evan Gattis into the cleanup spot and make it work, then I can break this block of cement using my head!

6

4

3

3.6

5.7

5.5

.622

.603

58.6%

18.8%

77.4%

-3.3%

2.6%

Juan Uribe's still got it. By "it" I mean an eight-track.

7

4

3

3.6

4.2

4.3

.569

.589

68.9%

10.0%

78.9%

2.8%

-0.1%

They're one of two teams yet to commit an error, although technically Miguel Cabrera was given one and had it reversed later in the week. Still: metrics!

8

4

4

4.8

4.2

4.5

.555

.574

44.7%

18.5%

63.2%

4.0%

3.3%

Among those who hit homers for them last night: Robinson Cano, Lyle Overbay, Ichiro Suzuki, Brennan Boesch, and Kevin Youkilis. Now to go down to the hospital and share this information with people who just woke up from year-long comas.

9

5

3

5.3

4.4

4.4

.533

.553

8.5%

9.5%

18.0%

0.9%

5.0%

They have more triples (3) than home runs (2), because the year is 1928 and talkies are all the rage.

10

5

3

4.7

5.1

4.7

.565

.546

18.5%

26.0%

44.5%

-4.2%

5.6%

Hold up a picture of their bullpen and it looks pretty good, assuming your thumb is covering Heath Bell.

11

5

3

5.4

5.2

4.7

.563

.544

13.0%

14.7%

27.7%

-5.1%

-2.8%

Mets catchers hit five home runs last year, and John Buck is at four. So who REALLY won the R.A. Dickey trade?

12

3

4

4.0

4.6

4.6

.520

.540

1.9%

3.7%

5.6%

1.1%

-2.8%

Their designated hitters are hitting a combined .045 on the season. Perhaps try a using pool noodle, or put "what is a curveball" into Google.

13

2

5

3.0

3.9

4.3

.516

.536

32.1%

29.1%

61.2%

-2.6%

-7.7%

Please don't hurl insults at the outfield because Mike Trout will catch everything you throw in his area.

14

4

3

3.7

3.9

3.7

.510

.530

9.3%

7.4%

16.6%

-1.8%

-1.6%

Paul Konerko now trails Jim Thome by six home runs on the career interleague list. It's a list that haunts purists and also contains a naughty limerick.

15

5

3

5.5

5.5

4.8

.545

.525

1.7%

4.9%

6.6%

-1.9%

1.8%

The secret to Todd Helton's lengthy career? He ages only when Rafael Betancourt finally throws his pitch.

16

5

3

3.2

4.4

4.6

.528

.508

19.2%

24.6%

43.8%

5.0%

0.8%

5

2

2.9

3.2

3.2

.523

.503

43.3%

21.7%

65.0%

2.9%

2.7%

Cross the White Sox off the list among teams Adam LaRoche hasn't homered against. We're down to Oakland, Seattle and Kansas City — only the latter of which is on their schedule this year. Or just request a trade to Texas.

18

4

4

3.8

4.4

4.6

.463

.483

0.8%

0.9%

1.7%

-0.2%

0.6%

Eduardo Escobar for cleanup hitter. Who says no?

19

4

5

3.8

3.8

3.7

.454

.474

4.1%

9.6%

13.7%

-3.7%

-9.0%

Hopefully before moving in their fences they tested their ballpark on claustrophobiacs.

20

4

4

4.7

2.9

3.2

.484

.464

16.6%

16.0%

32.6%

4.5%

0.5%

Congratulations to the St. Louisville Cardinals on their basketball championship. Didn't even know they liked the sport.

21

3

5

2.8

3.4

3.0

.439

.459

12.5%

10.7%

23.2%

-5.4%

-7.9%

How awful would that drummer fan feel if it turns out he was the reason nobody showed up to games?

22

3

5

2.6

2.0

2.2

.423

.443

16.9%

19.1%

36.0%

-3.1%

-8.6%

You can change his name to Roberto Hernandez in the database all you want. His name will always be Fausto World Peace to me.

23

2

5

2.0

1.8

1.8

.394

.413

9.0%

11.9%

20.9%

-2.2%

-6.0%

Perhaps to turn around their losing ways, this team should consider trading for a collection of high-paid star players.

24

3

5

2.6

2.9

3.1

.430

.410

9.9%

12.3%

22.2%

0.2%

-6.3%

Michael Young was a double short of a cycle, depriving the entire world of "CYCLE YOUNG" headlines.

25

3

5

3.0

2.7

2.7

.416

.397

5.0%

5.9%

10.8%

0.7%

-8.2%

Your team slugging leader is Nate Schierholtz. Let's see if anyone notices.

26

3

5

3.3

1.8

1.9

.400

.381

7.7%

8.6%

16.3%

2.3%

-4.6%

And with a massive 11 hits, this brings their collective average to ... well, actually it's still bad.

27

2

6

2.4

2.5

2.7

.393

.374

4.2%

5.9%

10.0%

-3.3%

-5.8%

Know who they should get to be their closer? John Axford from 2011. Everybody hop into my time machine. You'll need these pills.

28

2

6

2.6

2.1

2.8

.342

.360

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

0.1%

-0.1%

Jose Altuve almost had himself a cycle, but it turns out he came up a little short.

29

2

5

1.6

1.6

2.0

.364

.346

2.0%

5.6%

7.6%

1.6%

-3.1%

Jedd Gyorko is not only their top offensive player right now, but he's an anagram for "Dodgy Joker." I'd keep my eye on him, and watch out for whoopee cushions.