Favorite Movie & Tv Quotes

Kingpin------------------Ishmael: "You really should try to quit Mr. Munson. They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs, it quickens the aging process."Roy Munson: "Is that right? Who's done more research than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say it's harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke."

Roy Munson: "The army evacuated everybody."Ishmael: "Evacuated?"Roy Munson: "Yeah, a big military train derailed and this whole area is in danger of being contaminated by a huge cloud of... Shit!"Ishmael: "A huge cloud of shit? Wow. I think I smell it. Come on let's go."Ishmael: "Hey everybody, there's a shit cloud coming. Run for your lives."

People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my p.enis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testesMy left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.

Kumar: Roldy! Roldy! dude, you gotta come quick. There is these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us! [silence] Kumar: I mean... duh... that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I.

Kumar: Roldy! Roldy! dude, you gotta come quick. There is these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us! [silence] Kumar: I mean... duh... that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I.

Kumar: Roldy! Roldy! dude, you gotta come quick. There is these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us! [silence] Kumar: I mean... duh... that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I.

taht was from harold and kumar i also love Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

Tony Montana: What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of *beep*in' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your *beep*in' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

Tony Montana: You think I kill two kids and a woman? *beep* that! I don't need that shit in my life! [Tony sees that Alberto is about to detonate the car bomb] Tony Montana: You die, *beep*! [shoots Alberto in the face, killing him] Tony Montana: What you think I am? What you think, I a *beep*in' worm, like you? I told you, man! I told you, don't *beep* with me! I told you, no *beep*in' kids! No, but you wouldn't listen! Well, you stupid *beep*! Look at you now.

Kingpin------------------Ishmael: "You really should try to quit Mr. Munson. They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs, it quickens the aging process."Roy Munson: "Is that right? Who's done more research than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say it's harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke."

Roy Munson: "The army evacuated everybody."Ishmael: "Evacuated?"Roy Munson: "Yeah, a big military train derailed and this whole area is in danger of being contaminated by a huge cloud of... Shit!"Ishmael: "A huge cloud of shit? Wow. I think I smell it. Come on let's go."Ishmael: "Hey everybody, there's a shit cloud coming. Run for your lives."

I will post some more later, from different movies...

Kingpin was hilarious very underrated. Bill Murray was great in that movie. There are so many movies that I forget about, now I wanna see that movie again, I haven't seen it in so long.

Kingpin was hilarious very underrated. Bill Murray was great in that movie. There are so many movies that I forget about, now I wanna see that movie again, I haven't seen it in so long.

Family guy quotes

Ã¢â‚¬Å“Lois u know its illegal for women to driveÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

lois- peter did u get a new ass?Peter- I had to. My old one had a crack in it

Ã¢â‚¬Å“so lois is telling me how she wants to get a job. So IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m like I got a job for u baby right here(and points to crotch). Ã¢â‚¬Â¦..look at the zipper on these pants. Its been broken for a week and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been holding it together with a clothespin.-peter

Ã¢â‚¬Å“why do women have boobs?.... so u have something to look at when your talking to themÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

Ã¢â‚¬Å“bartender, one martini and a rufee(spelling) colodaÃ¢â‚¬?-quagmire

lady(after having sex with quagmire)-quagmire I got a question, what do u do for a living?Quagmire- I got a question for u too, why are u still here?

Ã¢â‚¬Å“I bet I can walk up to each of those scary bikers and say, hey arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t u Richard simmons?Ã¢â‚¬?-peter

peter-excuse me, your in my seat and I had sex with your motherguy- what did u saypeter- what about my stool or about me plowing your fathers wife

Ã¢â‚¬Å“excuse me is your refridgerator running? Cause if it is I bet it runs like you. Very homosexuallyÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

peter-hey kids remember that one thing u all wanted for Christmas?Meg-a ponyChris- a bikeStewie- a dead loisPeter- yeah while there all down stairs(kids walk down stairs)lois- peter if u want to waste your news years in the basement over some crazy end of the world theory fine but IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m going to the partypeter- lois are u pregnant?Lois- noPeter- good (pushes lois down stairs)

These are just a few. I have hundreds of them. This is the best show ever. Anyone who doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think its funny is an idiot.

lois- peter did u get a new ass?Peter- I had to. My old one had a crack in it

Ã¢â‚¬Å“so lois is telling me how she wants to get a job. So IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m like I got a job for u baby right here(and points to crotch). Ã¢â‚¬Â¦..look at the zipper on these pants. Its been broken for a week and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve been holding it together with a clothespin.-peter

Ã¢â‚¬Å“why do women have boobs?.... so u have something to look at when your talking to themÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

Ã¢â‚¬Å“bartender, one martini and a rufee(spelling) colodaÃ¢â‚¬?-quagmire

Family guy quotes

Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah cause your our neighbors. And if u moved out some smelly hawiaans might move inÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

Ã¢â‚¬Å“I tried being creative first I took an art class (heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s in an art class drawing a naked man and leans over to the women next to him and asks) do I have to draw the *beep*?Ã¢â‚¬? Ã¢â‚¬Å“then I took a sculpting class (heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s in a sculpting class, sculpting a naked man and he leans over to the women next to him and says) do I have to sculpt the *beep*Ã¢â‚¬? then I took a music class (he is conducting an orchestra and is looking for his baton and leans over to a musician and says) am I supposed to conduct with my *beep*?Ã¢â‚¬? and now I realized my *beep* belongs on stageÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

brian-I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know peter. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve never been any good at telling jokes(flash back to peter caught in a net in planet of the apes and all the apes have guns pointed at him)peter-hey how many dirty stinking apes does it take to change a light bulb? 3 dirty stinking apes. 1 dirty stinking ape to change it and 2 dirty stinking apes to throw *beep* at each otherÃ¢â‚¬? he he he he(his laugh)(the apes then *beep* their guns)

peter- why lois. HeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a bastard just like the guy who fixed our vacuum(flashback to peter in the vacuum store)vacuum guy-here u go sir. Your vacuum is all fixed. Turns out there was a half eaten meatball clogging up the intake.Peter-well did u save it?Vacuum guy-noPeter-u bastard

Quagmire walks up to a pair of lesbiansÃ¢â‚¬Å“excuse me. U ladies ever been penetratedÃ¢â‚¬?

peter-why do I have to pay this there is nothing wrong with mebrian(sarcastically)- yeah itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a shame your not dyingpeter-thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s it brian. They canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t make a dead guy pay. So under name IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll put deceased and under sex IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll put no thanks IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m dead.

Peter in sensitivity trainingTeacher-mr Johnson why donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t u give it a try. Here u go mr. Johnson the filing is all doneMr. Johnson- thank u ms. Ironbox. You are a valued member of our business team and just as important to the success of the company as I am. Teacher-Very good now peter u give it a try. Here mr griffin. The filing is all donePeter- thank u ms iron box. U are an important member of our business team and if u come to work without a shirt on tomorrow I will give u a raise.Teacher(angrily)- mr griffinPeter- oh wait sorry. Let me try again. Nice ass.

lady(after having sex with quagmire)-quagmire I got a question, what do u do for a living?Quagmire- I got a question for u too, why are u still here?

Ã¢â‚¬Å“I bet I can walk up to each of those scary bikers and say, hey arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t u Richard simmons?Ã¢â‚¬?-peter

peter-excuse me, your in my seat and I had sex with your motherguy- what did u saypeter- what about my stool or about me plowing your fathers wife

Ã¢â‚¬Å“excuse me is your refridgerator running? Cause if it is I bet it runs like you. Very homosexuallyÃ¢â‚¬?-peter

peter-hey kids remember that one thing u all wanted for Christmas?Meg-a ponyChris- a bikeStewie- a dead loisPeter- yeah while there all down stairs(kids walk down stairs)lois- peter if u want to waste your news years in the basement over some crazy end of the world theory fine but IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m going to the partypeter- lois are u pregnant?Lois- noPeter- good (pushes lois down stairs)These are just a few. I have hundreds of them. This is the best show ever. Anyone who doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think its funny is an idiot.

Satan: "I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I must respectfully decline."Dan Marino (Himself): "I can't stand retirement. Come on, just let me win one Superbowl."Satan: "In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're much too nice a guy for me to want to do that to you Mr. Marino."Dan Marino: "You did it for Nameth."Satan: "Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyway."Dan Marino: "This sucks. I'll just go te the Superbowl as an announcer and I'll win myself an Emmy."Satan: "That's the spirit."Nicky: "You're a good Devil Dad."Satan: "And I also happen to be a Jets fan."

HAve you noticed the JET fans on some sitcoms...King and queens...Doug is a JET fan.......any others you can think of?

I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t watch it so IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not sure but my mom said everybody loves Raymond one of them is a jet fan. I forgot which one. Also the father from west coast choppers show. He even made a jets motorcycle on one show.

I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t watch it so IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not sure but my mom said everybody loves Raymond one of them is a jet fan. I forgot which one. Also the father from west coast choppers show. He even made a jets motorcycle on one show.

Raymond is the Jets fan, and a Yankees fan, Ray and Kevin are good friends, maybe since Ray is ending , Ray will be on King of Queens more often now.