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Monday, September 26, 2011

She's allegedly shooting the video for her new single We Found Love, co-written by Calvin Harris, all semi-naked in the corn.

Look, I grew up in Belfast during the 80s. We couldn't even get Level 42 to come over for a show, never mind a pre-eminent diva of pop'n'rock* in the nearly buff. Also, we never had fields that looked like this.

Or like this...

Or like this...

(I hope someone told her to be careful of that combine harvester)

No. It was more like this...

Seething jealousy aside, I suppose it's "a good thing for tourism" that Rihanna has chosen the Northern Irish capital for her latest video shoot. With any luck, she'll hire a cottage in Donaghadee, write an album about "the craic" and drink a wee pint of Harp at Laverys. But be warned, Ms Fenty, because Ireland is a straaange and disturbing place. In the last week, people have been caught spontaneously combusting. And only a couple of months ago, they were auctioning off the severed head of the patron saint of genital diseases. What I'm saying is: It's more of a Lady Gaga sort of place.