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The happiest moment in a woman’s life
Is when she hears the turn of her lover’s key
In the lock, and pretends to be asleep
When he enters the room, trying to be
Quiet but clumsy, bumping into things,
And she can smell the liquor on his breath
But forgives him because she has him back
And doesn’t have to sleep alone.

The happiest moment in a man’s life
Is when he climbs out of bed
With a woman, after an hour’s sleep,
After making love, and pulls on
His trousers, and walks outside,
And pees in the bushes, and sees
The high August sky full of stars

And gets in his car and drives home.

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Thanks to PQS, whose appreciation of poetry delights me to absolutely no end. Because he used to make fun of my "poetry thing." And now he’s a gleeful and eager confederate. You can read more about Mr. Lehman HERE. And did you know he wrote a poem for Obama’s inauguration? Well he did, and you can see him read it HERE.

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Phone Sex Quote of the Day

A contract of mutual self-delusion exists between the caller and the phone sex operator. The caller imagines he is speaking to his most secret fantasy — and whatever it might be — animal, vegetable or mineral, the operator willingly plays the part.