I haven't been to training for far too long and I'm sorry I missed you, but I hope to be donning my moniker (and skates) again in the near future, just as soon as Miss Genocide pops! I trust you'll be in the crowd come September.

Since when was Smash Malice meant to win the first bout?Don't think you talked to anyone from that team...Completely meh.

You're right I didn't talk to Smash Malice, but the "buzz" beforehand was that they were the favourites and they seemed to have more supporters (I was the only one cheering for Pageant where I was standing). They'll come back though

Yes, skaters are like race horses - each derby girl needs to have her skate name registered on a worldwide database, and if it's taken (or too similar to an existing name), you're not allowed to officially use it. For example, before the glory days of Scheisse Minnelli began, I wanted to be Hannah Barbaric, but alas, she already skates for the Cincinnati Rollergirls. As you may be able to tell, part of the theatricality of a sport such as derby revolves around the sexy/tough image, hence names like Momma Murder, Cupcake Carnage, Tuff Bikkies or Wax Assassin. Pop culture referencing is also rife (see also Skate the Muss, Chevy Impaler, Goldie Scorn and yours truly, Scheisse f*cking Minnelli).

Team and league names work similarly, hence my team Dead Wreckoning within Pirate City Rollers.

Dead Reckoning:the process of estimating one's current position based upon a previously determined position, or fix, and advancing that position based upon known or estimated speeds over elapsed time, and course.

ahaha, actually yeah I think derby language is confusing, imagine if you didn't know anything about it and heard something like "It's the second jam, the lead jammer got stuck in the pack and has passed the star, the pivot has taken a waitress and has JUMPED THE APEX"

I ran into an Auckland team at a backpackers in New Plymouth last year. I was super impressed that they kept up the names even at 7am on a Sunday... "wanna cup of tea, Carnage?" "yeah ta, 2 sugars thanks Femme"

I ran into an Auckland team at a backpackers in New Plymouth last year. I was super impressed that they kept up the names even at 7am on a Sunday... "wanna cup of tea, Carnage?" "yeah ta, 2 sugars thanks Femme"

Haha, that's because we don't even know each others real names anymore...

I ran into an Auckland team at a backpackers in New Plymouth last year. I was super impressed that they kept up the names even at 7am on a Sunday... "wanna cup of tea, Carnage?" "yeah ta, 2 sugars thanks Femme"

I've only ever been introduced to skaters by their assumed identities. It's like meeting the Justice League.