Hello! Have you ever noticed the link at the top of this site called “writing.”?

You haven’t been clicking on it.

I can tell.

But you really should! It’s a collection of a lot of features I’ve had published over the past few years, including the celebrity interviews I do for my dayjob. Anyway, I’ve spent the past few weeks transcribing them so they’re easier to read. They are now available in full on this site or as a Google Docs link of the full layout. I’ve even given you the option to go all old school and download a PDF to your computer. That way you can enjoy these works in some godforsaken place where you don’t have access to the internet. On camping trips. In a submarine on a spy mission. On the moon. In purgatory with all the unbaptized babies. Wherever top-notch feature writing is enjoyed.

Why can’t I get Internet Explorer (the” The Simpsons” of browsers—i.e. had some good stuff early on, but just kept existing beyond its proper cultural expiration date due to the profit whims of a suffocating corporate monster parent) to show this web site correctly!?

If you’re viewing this on Explorer, there’s probably some text where it shouldn’t be, some of my social network stuff is missing, and all sorts of other great stuff that you just aren’t experiencing. It’s like I bought you a ticket for “Avatar” in 3D, and gave you a ride to the IMAX, but then you and Explorer decided to dump me and go see “Everybody’s Fine” on the theater’s also-ran screen instead.