My Life Stories, From the highest to the lowest, and the grey area crap inbetween that forms my life so far…

Archive for the tag “choice”

The amazing yet scarred girls, ruined long before meeting me, seem to be my specialty. I get them, I try to understand and give support, not too much, but each time they slip through my fingers. Yep I can feel it happening again, they all drift away, eventually. But I’m not whining, this happens, a healthy relationship consists of two people’s choices, not one, yet still disappointing, at least I’m seeing this coming right?

Its been found in studies that the most creative of people find it easier, as well as produce some of the most amazing well known pieces when they’re in negative states of mind. For example Charles Bukowski, his poetry, short stories, novels all surrounded the average lives of poor Americans, the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women and the drudgery of work. Times magazine even described Bukowski as the “laureate of American lowlife”. Its as if Bukowski sacrificed happiness for this unmatched writing that has left behind a legacy of creative genius.

Learning of this apparent connection, I find myself realising that I only really write when I’m not feeling too happy with myself.

There’s only one thing I can focus on (besides the obvious uni, work, etc, etc) and that is being truthful to myself, expect less of others and appreciate more. I hate losing like everyone else does and quoting The Rolling Stones “You cannot always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need”

I’ve got a choice, leave my home, family and friends to further my so called “career prospect”, and go to a university in a completely different state, meeting new people, and having a completely new experience in life or lead a lesser adventure and stay at home, to which my mind slowly goes insane from the lack of change?

Now I’ve been thinking of this for a while, but I’ve always wanted to go and see new places, which would explain my time at Parkes, and Bali, aren’t we all used to the boring day by day same old dribble? What’s happened to enjoying life? What happened to making it an adventure? I think we all get lost at some point, lost in responsibilities and hardship, break free, give yourself a choice, live your life, don’t just “work through it”.

Now I’ll think about it for a little longer, go over the finer details…. But fuck that, I’ll just go and do it!

As for the last few days of my Bali, it was mostly spent by the pool with family, and friends (as you can see)