I would ask ....What the hell is it you actually dream about when you're flat on your back legs kicking and twitching and your barking in your sleep ??

( My black lab bitch is one of the quietest dogs I have ever had and only barks very occasionally in fact for the first couple of years I thought she had no bark ,BUT dear god she yowls and growls in her sleep !! )

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING PEEING ON THE BLOODY CARPET? WHAT IS THIS THE FUCKING SERENGETI??? YOU THINK MARKING YOUR TERRITORY IS FUN? HOW ABOUT THIS ... HUH? HOW ABOUT, YOU GET A FUCKING JOB, WORK FOR A FUCKING DAY!! ... AND .. AND PAY THE STEAMER GUYS TO COME CLEAN YO SHIT OFF THE CARPET ... HOW ABOUT THAT?? EH? HOW 'BOUT THAT?? WHAT?? YOU CAN'T DO THAT? HUH? HUH? WHY NOT? HUH? WHY'S THAT? 'COZ YOUR A FUCKING DOG, THAT'S RIGHT ... YOU CAN'T FUCKING WORK!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING CHRIST, I TAKE YOU OUT ON WALKS ... YOU'VE FUCKIN' SEEN FUCKIN' FIRE HYDRANTS BEFORE .. WHAT THA FUCK??? ANSWER ME!!! ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!"

How many questions were those?

I don't really have a dog ...

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright.