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I think I’m headed toward a Christmas with no gifts, and it’s all my fault.

1. I’m responsible for making a list, otherwise I’ll hate what I get and be bitter about the resulting craptastic Christmas I had because, as we all know, happiness is 100% dependant upon the size and dollar value of the loot pile you come away with.

2. I’ve spent two nights in a row, totalling 6 hours, in front of the Internets, begging Google and Amazon and any number of gift-suggesting blogs and websites to tell me what I can’t live without this year.

4. AH and I like to keep things fairly even, monetarily-wise, as I think most couples do. I’m finished shopping for AH, so I know how much the budget is set at. $20.10 is a teensy bit under.

5. I really want a laptop, so I can multi-task, what with all the social networking I’m committed to as well as the bung-full PVR, but that is a teensy bit over.

6. The only other thing I really want is clothes (not girly-girl clothes – I want track pants and jeans and witty graphic tees and turtleneck sweaters because I’m Hott and I need to cover the Heat to avoid pervy celebrities), but AH refuses to buy clothes, even if I point him to the exact item. It’s probably a good rule, because he’d find a way to mess it up, only because I’d probably change my mind or gain or lose 20 lbs or grow a third arm requiring a third sleeve or something. Clothes always get messed up.

7. Instead of clothes, I could ask for gift certificates, right? Except for I’m not sure what store I’d want one from. Chances are wherever I pick will be going through a flourescent phase or only carry size 0 or decide women should only wear mini skirts and skinny jeans.

8. So instead of gift certificates, I could just ask for money, right? Except AH and I share a bank account, so he might as well not bother going to the bank and just keep the cash in there.

And that’s how I’m not getting any gifts this year and it’s all my fault. Hrumph.