Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Delving Deeper

by Robison Wells

This week I had the opportunity to sit down with Jeffrey Savage and pick his brain. Controversy swirls around Jeff wherever he goes, it was fascinating to get a glimpse inside the mind of this twisted genius. I caught up with Jeff on one of his many business trips, and we sat down to eat at a small street café in Rio de Janeiro. He was dining on feijoada while I sampled the quibe.

Rob: So Jeff, tell me about the prologues. You’ve caused quite a stir.

Jeff: Off the record?

Rob: Of course. This will always remain solely between you and I.

Jeff: I’m just messin’ with people. Heck, every single one of my books has a prologue in it. Dead on Arrival had two. I’m just laughing at everyone, wondering when they’ll figure it out.

Rob: People are so stupid.

Jeff: You’re preaching to the choir, my friend.

Rob: What about the thing with the SASE? Is that another joke?

Jeff: Oh my gracious, no. That’s completely serious.

Rob: But why? It seems kind of like you’re just stirring up controversy for the sake of it.

Jeff: I don’t care about the controversy—this has nothing to do with books. It has to do with me not wanting forty one of my hard earned pennies going to support the government. I tell you, the day I started weaving all my own clothes out of grass clippings—and thus stopped paying sales tax—was the greatest day of my life.

Rob: Really?

Jeff: Vote Ron Paul. It’s a Love Revolution.

Rob: Great. So, while we’re completely off the record, are there any other crazy…er…revolutionary ideas you have about writing?

Jeff: Oh sure. Lots. (Jeff takes a sip of his caipirinha and smiles.) For example, whenever I query an agent, I always sandwich my manuscript between the pages of a family photo album. I feel that, by looking at my life experiences, the agent can better understand me.

Rob: And how has this been received?

Jeff: I don’t know. I don’t hear much from them.

Rob: That probably has something to do with that SASE.

Jeff: (Throws his napkin on the table and jumps to his feet.) You want a piece of this? Huh?

Rob: I hear you have a horror novel coming out, and that it’s LDS? Tell me more.

Jeff: Have you ever heard about the Wooden Man Theory in the Journal of Discourses?

Rob: I have not. What’s in that drink of yours?

Jeff: Basically, one of the old apostates—I can’t remember who it was, maybe the guy who did the thing with the cream—anyway, he found some of the actual wood used to build the Tower of Babel. It was cursed, devil wood.

Rob: Devil wood?

Jeff: Well, the thing is, Brigham Young was a big fan of ventriloquism, as everyone knows. So this apostate made a ventriloquist dummy out of devil wood. And then, as you can imagine, the dummy came to life and started killing people.

Rob: So, it’s like a Mormon Chucky.

Jeff: Crudely, yes.

Rob: And what about your YA fantasy?

Jeff: There’s a castle in the mountains east of Provo, and kids with special powers go there for school.

Rob: Wizard kids?

Jeff: Are you kidding? That’d be a rip-off. These kids are vampires. It’s kind of a romance.

Rob: A romance? That’s kind of a departure for you.

Jeff: What can I say? I’m a love machine.

Rob: Eww.

So anyway, a big thanks to Jeff. I’d have loved to chat longer, but Carnivale started and you’ve never lived till you’ve seen Jeffrey Savage do the samba. Ai, que dor!

See if I ever trust you again when you lean close over the table and say, "Just whisper it in my ear."

And for what it's worth my new Shandra book has Shandra's grandfather, the noted art historian, leaving clues behind the original Duck Hunting Jesus painting, under the floor of the Tabernacle, and inside a handmade quilt.

In the exciting conclusion, Shandra gies to BYU and realizes that if she runs past the Brigham Young statue with one eye closed, he actually signs the words. "I never actually married anyone. The whole "polygamy" thing was really a big MLM scam to sell Utah property."

The book is being made into a movie starring gary Coleman. But that really IS off the record.