Friday, February 29, 2008

Everybody sing........... Well we're movin on up,To the east side.To a deluxe apartment in the sky.Movin on up,To the east side.We finally got a piece of the pie.

Fish don't fry in the kitchen;Beans don't burn on the grill.Took a whole lotta tryin',Just to get up that hill.Now we're up in the big leagues, Gettin' our turn at bat. As long as we live, it's you and me baby, There ain't nothin wrong with that.

Well we're movin on up,To the east side.To a deluxe apartment in the sky.Movin on up,To the east side.We finally got a piece of the pie.

Monday, February 25, 2008

She said Boss #2 told Overtime Hawg. I'm guessing Overtime Hawg was listening in on the conversation between Boss #1 and Boss #2 because they're both pretty fed up with her, so I find it hard to believe either would confide in her.On one hand, I'm glad cuz this heads up gives me a little time to decide what I want to do and look around, but on the other hand, I'm rather pissed our boss isn't coming right out and telling us so we don't get stuck at the last minute. We have a right to know when the job will end if she knows. I've gone to work one day and found out I won't need to come back the next more often than I care to think about. It SUCKS BIG TIME to have a pay one day and none the next. But I've had this job for six years and in this line of work, that's a good run.I think it's time for me to move on. I'm not as panicked as I was when I heard about this possibility in December. Now I feel more like it's time to move forward, on to something better and more exciting. I think the only way to allay any fears I have is to be pro-active and move on to another job before this job ends because it's the lack of ANY income I'm fearing.

I honestly don't know if I want to stay in elder care. I'm kind of tired of it and I never really set out to do it in the first place. I kinda fell into it, and it's ok, but I want to be doing something that challenges me mentally and creatively for a change, and it would also be great if I was qualified to do something like that. Yuck. At least I'm not in the same situation as my co-worker who doesn't even have her high school diploma OR her GED, but still, it's not like I have a college degree either. My stomach hurts. I guess I'll do what I do every time I lose my job: sit down and write out what it is I want, then pray on it, and ask God to lead me where He wants me to be. And then I'll pray I have the strength (and the smarts) to listen.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Friday, February 22, 2008

What a MESS driving to work Friday. The notoriously unreliable weatherman was calling for snow during the night Thursday, continuing into Friday, then a lovely sleet/freezing rain/rain mix in the AFTERNOON and on into the night again. I came outside Friday at 7 a.m. to find about five inches of snow and FREEZING RAIN. UGH. I had to pull over three times on the way to work to clean off my windshield, which wasn't easy considering I couldn't even see where I was pulling off. Thankfully, I was only five minutes late to work. The second time I've been late in the six years that I've worked there due to weather.

I came home Friday night at 6 and muh butt was dragging. It was killing me to exercise, but I found that once I started, I got more energy. Sometimes I hate to start and it only gets worse as it goes along. I start calling Billy Blanks every name under the sun. There's one exercise that gets my goat. I love it, but it's what he says that has me laughing. You bend over at the waist, legs apart and put the palms of your hands on the floor. Then you look backward between your legs. Great stretching exercise. But in this one DVD, Billy says, "Look up at the ceiling behind you." LOL! I bend over and put my head down and all I see are a pair of boobs staring back at me! Ceiling...mutter, mutter.

I watched the news video with Senator John McCain and his wife as they discussed the story about him having an inappropriate relationship with a lobbyist , and I'm sorry, but he did NOT strike me as a strong, confident man who was telling the truth. He seemed rather tentative and unsure of himself when the issue was brought up. When he talked about politics and his record, he was fine, but that wasn't why he was there. I know he was trying to draw the parallel between his service record, his Senatorial responsibilities and his honesty, but I felt he went about this incorrectly.

It always concerns me when a politician addresses a personal issue by immediately rah rah'ing about their "service to the country" and how "proud" they are of that work. To me, that comes across as a ploy to distract us from the issue at hand. I would think he'd start out with something like "This is my wife, whom I love and respect. I would never do anything to hurt her or my family." I didn't hear anything like that.

Oh, and check out how his wife watches him closely when he's asked to "describe his relationship" with the lobbyist...LOL!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Kia pisses me off. Once again. My Rio is only an '02 and I've been waiting 14 days for the inner door lock assembly with no arrival date in sight. They PROMISED it would be in within 7 days.

Now what cheeses me off is the place they ordered this part from just sent me a brochure touting the opening of their "state of the art" Kia repair shop. Um, hello? Just get my fricking part in, will ya? I can't help but wonder what they'd do if I took it to their place to get fixed, but I'm not spending all the extra $ to pay for their "state of the art" facility.

I'm concerned that it's difficult to get parts for a car that's only five years old. I know the idea behind a Kia is that you drive it for five years then crumple it up and toss it in the garbage, but some of us are trying to hang on, especially since it only has 32 K miles on it!

It was bad enough that our Spectra had to sit at the garage for SIX WEEKS while we waited for a gas tank from Korea THAT NEVER CAME. I could understand that a little more since the Spectra is a '97. But parts for a five year old car should NOT be this difficult to obtain. YOU SUCK BIG TIME, KIA!!! This is definitely our last piece of Korean Krap, especially since I'm seeing others online who are having the same door lock problems with their Rios. Fricking defects. Of all the different cars we've owned, we have never had a problem with the door lock sticking like this. And some of our cars were 12 or 13 years old when we got rid of them.

I read too many romance novels. I was reading this article today concerning jobs, and I thought, "If I could live anywhere on this list, it would be Montana or Wyoming. I gotta have those green trees, Lin!

I'd move to one of those really small towns--not for the job, though, because at this point, I'll be independently wealthy, really skinny and have GREAT boobs that kiss the sun. [Instead of dragging the floor.] I'll live in a town that's so small that it only has a sheriff and one deputy--both single, lonely and hott for older women--to patrol the entire county. Hopefully, they'll both be willing to "patrol me" at the same time.

You'll notice I'm using the word "I" because Mr. G has decided he wants to live in Alaska. No way in hell! So since he has virtually ABANDONED me, I'll need "companionship". (That's sex without having to pick up after them.) I pretty much have this all figured out--except for the independently wealth part and the uplifted boobs.

The other day when I was taking pics of the railroad lines, I wanted to walk right up to the track and take a picture of my foot on the rail to show that it was so accessible to the public. I've never seen a police car on that street, but my guess is the minute I stuck my foot on the track, one would be right behind me, along with a couple of mental health experts. I had the dog, too, and I didn't want to encourage her to go near the tracks. Besides, that whole scene from Fried Green Tomatoes ran through my head and I was afraid to put my foot anywhere NEAR the tracks. Makes me cry every time I see it.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Phew! Thank God I learned my lesson the last time I lost my bookmarks and backed them up. I opened FF today and guess what? NO BOOKMARKS AGAIN! Luckily, I created a bookmark file and I simply "imported" them.

Hmmm, apparently the site FelonSpy is a hoax. I wondered why I couldn't bring up the same names two times in a row. Not to mention the fact that there were tons of "gang members" in my area. The only gang in this little corner of the world is made up of elderly people who all eat bran for breakfast.

I just finished watching Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married". I have to admit, it was a pretty doggone good movie. I mistakenly thought it was a comedy though. I guess because so much of his other stuff is humorous. It was the story of four couples who met once a year to "work on their relationships." Only this year seemed to be the year everyone's marriage was falling apart. One guy got pissed off and began telling everyone's secrets and it all started unraveling. Good couples movie.

Monday, February 18, 2008

I wanted you to see how close I was to the railroad tracks where I USED to walk the dog. Actually I can walk right up ONTO the tracks, and I have no idea why they don't have that closed off. Great way for some lunatic to kill themselves by walking in front of a train.

It amazes me that our Catholic churches all have to be huge and full of marble and the finest statues Rome can build. Yet, I'm sure Jesus heard these believers every bit as clearly in this simple church house.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Here's a very interesting series of videos to show your teenage driver--or to watch yourself if you've never been stopped--and it tells you step by step what the police will do during a traffic stop and why they're doing it.

I'm so tired of seeing young, young women with OLD men. It's like nobody dates anyone their own age anymore. Nothing against John McCook--he was a hottie in his day---but on what planet would sexy Jennifer Gareis climb into bed with him?! And somebody tell him to cut those damn caterpillar eyebrows. They look like they have spider legs coming out of them!!

Friday, February 15, 2008

WORDS OF WISDOM:Marge to Homer, after he played hooky from work: "The plant called today and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother to come in Monday."Homer: "Wooo hooo! Four day weekend!" (The Simpsons)On Valentine's Day--how apropos--I experienced my first "orgasm headache". OMG, did that ever hurt. The disgusting thing isthat it hits full force the exact moment you're orgasming, thus robbing you of all the fun you've worked so hard to attain. It lasted about 45 seconds, and here's hoping it's the LAST one I get. The crappy thing is that now I'm rather hesitant to find out...Because I had to work that extra shift on Tuesday, I actually managed to snag a Friday off. My first since Spring '07.I told Mr. G that I wanted to go out to dinner because I was soooo hungry for seafood. Naturally, Female Offspring #1 decided to come in this weekend. I said, "You only came home because you knew we were going out to eat!"She inherited the ability to smell a free meal from her dad. Apparently her skills are much more honed since she can smell one seventy miles away.Their shrimp was delicious, as were their crab cakes, and guess what? They had pumpkin pie. Figures. Crappy pumpkin pie--you could tell it was just the frozen junk--so I went for the frozen coconut cream pie instead. Delish. After I sat down, I said, "Damn! I forgot to bring my camera so I could take a picture of my food for my blog!" I need to get my camera surgically attached to my body like Mushy and FHB.

This should go without saying, but I guess these things wouldn't be happening if parents weren't posting the pics to begin with. Check your Flickr privacy settings and make sure your pics aren't open to every one.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I'M FINALLY HOME!! YAY!! I had to work three shifts in a row, so it was 34 long hours away from home. And those damn cupcakes.I called last night and asked Female Offspring #6 what she intendedto do since they pigged down all the cupcakes for the party.She said, "Oh, didn't I tell you? I goofed. There was no party." Well, well, well. Didn't that just work out PERFECTLY for those little ingrates?!They spent the day off of school in a trailer with 50 cupcakes and no parental supervision.

Lordy, I love dicking with my husband. I gave him his Valentine's Day card, then I sat there waiting for his response.I know it drives him up the wall because he doesn't know what he's supposed to say. Generally it's, 'mmm, nice card'. So today he read the card and said, "mmmm, nice card," and I said, "Yes, but what do you think of the significance of the words I chose? What does the card say to you?" He said, "It says, 'you bought me at Dollar General for ninety nine cents'! Now knock it off." LOL!

I couldn't figure out why I was building up a callus on my pointer finger of my left hand. At first, I thought it was because of typing. But I figured I used thepad of my fingertips more for typing, and if that were the case, I'd have them on all fingers. Then I realized it was because I use that finger to left click on my laptop.Dang. I knew I was on the computer alot, but wow. I didn't realize I'm on THAT much.

I read that in order to wash your hands long enough to make it count, you need to sing the first verse of Happy Birthday.I decided to try it out honestly and see how long I really washed my hands. So I pumped some soap on my hands and began to sing. "Happy birthday t--" and this is right where I'd normally be finished washing. Damn. I'm supposedly not getting the benefits of cleaning and yet the antibacterial soap has made my hands as dry as my martinis.

Gary Coleman revealed he was secretly married in August. His new wife said, "I just want my own identity as well because I don't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife." Quite frankly, I don't foresee that as being much of a problem. Not like the dude's a big star in demand.

I really enjoy reading Steve Rose's column in the AJC, but geez it would get old quick. He putsout a funny column and the next thing ya know the commenters are all fighting amongst themselves over petty bullshit, totally ignoring his great article. Welcome to the jerk filled internet.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Whoa. My car slid twice on the way to work this morning. Pretty good considering that's the first time I've slid all winter. It's so hard though, to take your foot off the gas and not instinctively apply the brake. But I did! I'm learning that in the winter, brakes can be my enemy!! I'm really pleased at how well my little Rio goes in the winterwith studded tires. Especiall considering my co-worker's husband had to grind the whole way up the streetand he has a Jeep with four wheel drive. I think a lot of people get 4 wheel driveand crappy old tires and think they can go anywhere in any kind of weather. Surprise.

Last night, moments after I snuggled under the covers, Female Offspring #6 came into my room, shook meand said, "Pssst, Mom, are you still awake? Cuz I need 50 cupcakes for tomorrow morning. We're having a Valentine's Day party. I might have forgotten to mention it."I was very proud of myself. I didn't get all spastic and start screaming about her procrastination problem. I didn't kvetch about how long it would take me to whip up batter and bake 5o cupcakes when I only own one cupcake pan.I didn't yell about how I already baked once this year, and how I felt that was enough. I didn't even get upset. I simply got up and walked into the kitchen. ThereI found Male Offspring #1, and told him to get in the car and drive around until he found 50 cupcakes. That's me: a problem solver. I also told him that if he didn't find them, he needn't come home. You know, tough love and all that b.s. Well, he found them and guess what? School was cancelled today because of inclement weather. I called at lunch time and guess what they were doing? Eating cupcakes.

My sister and I used to discuss The Young and The Restless all the time, so she was upset when I told herI wasn't watching anymore. She called me last night and asked me to watch again, assuringme that it was "getting good." So I tuned in today. On the show there's a guy named Victorwho had a son with Hope and they named him Victor Jr., so it stands to reason it would appear that way on his birth certificate.Hope and Vic Jr. moved awaybut Victor visits them from time to time. Now Hope is dying and she said to Victor. "We have to tell Victor Jr. you're his father. He doesn't know." The kid is like 23 years old. How damndumb does he have to be that he couldn't figure out his mother's friend Victor is hisdad when his name is Victor Jr?! Gawd, that's it. I'm out. Again. The writing on this show downright ridiculous.

I'm contemplating buying the COPS 20th Anniversary DVD edition. You know how Ilurves me some COPS, but the only thing holding me back is I recall just how crappy their "anniversary special" on tv was. They picked some of the stupidest clips on the show. I was checking around on Froogle, and I'm wondering just how reliable their information is. For instance, Froogle listed Fox was selling the DVD set for $27.98, but when I went to their site, they were actually selling it for $23.98. They claimed Circuit City wasselling it for $17.99 when they were actually selling it for $19.99, as is Amazon. I was hopingNetFlix would pick it up and I could check it out there first, but I don't see it on their list of DVD's.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Male Offspring #2's father will be released from jail this week--he was arrested for breaking into a porn shop--and he called saying he wanted to see his son. At first, I was totally against it. I mean who's stupid enough to break into a porn store when you can download it for free on the internet? And with the low quality of porn these days...puhleeze. (However, cop porn is a totally different story!) Talk about bad decision making.Then I relented. Precious and few are the moments those two can share, and all that crap. Besides, if things go the way I expect them to, he'll be back in jail by the end of this month. Probably for breaking into a library.

Was that sour grapes on Natalie Cole's breath after the Grammy's last night?She objected to Amy Winehouse's wins saying, "She doesn't deserve it...she should get her life together first, then get the awards. You don't get awarded for bad behavior." Amy wasn't "rewarded for bad behavior." She was rewarded for her songs. I love "Rehab," and just because Amy is screwed up at the moment, that doesn't mean her musical accomplishments should be ignored.If bad behavior shouldn't be rewarded, maybe they should yank Kayne West's Grammysbecause instead of being happy with the awards he won, he was pissed and pouting about the one he didn't win.

Geez Louise, now I know why the post office doesn't update it's tracking info often. Amazon actually updated mine and I see that my book arrived in Warrendale, PA on the 7th. (Ironically, the same day the carrier was notified to pick up the book. Three guesses as to what state the book was shipped from.)It was mis-sorted on the 9th (grrrrrrr..inept employees) and it left Warrendale on the TENTH. WTH happened on Friday the 8th?! Was the (mis)sorter dude busy screwing up somebody else's order? These postal employees need to stop smoking dope on their break. Be professional. Smoke it at home like everybody else.So let's recap, shall we? The book was sent out from my own state, it's in a post office an hour and 45 minutes from here, and seven days later, it still hasn't arrived.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I was zipping around the internet on Sunday afternoon and there was an article entitled, "How To Stop Your Kid From Being a Nosepicker."Now I ask you, why would you WANT to stop your child from picking his nose?1. It's a time consuming activity that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol.2. It improves his motor skills, specifically his hand to nostril coordination.3. It's one less thing you have to do for him. 4. When he's finished playing in his nose, there's nothing to clean up. 5. And last, but certainly not least, it makes for a handy snack.I still think that Hambooger Helper idea of mine wasn't such a bad idea.

I woke up at 4 o'clock this morning to the sound of sleet hitting against the window, then several loud kabooms of thunder and bright flashes of lightening. I looked out the window and everything was covered with snow. I went into the living room and looked out the picture window, and it was blowing so hard all I could see was white. I couldn't even see the apple tree which is only about twenty five to thirty feet away from the window. My first thought was, "Ooooo, how beautiful!" My second thought was, "God, don'tlet it be blowing like this later when I have to drive to work."My third thought was, "Full bladder....owie, owie!!"When I went out at 7 to go to work, it wasn't blowing, and the snow looked so weird. It looked exactly like that fake snow you see in train displays at Christmas.I kept looking outside this afternoon, watching the swirling snow, and wishingthat I was home taking a nap with Mr. G and the dog.I like the "snuggly warm in bed together" part. Sigh. I love my job, but I hate never having a weekend off.

I don't know what kind of camera angles they're working with Drew Berrymore in those Cover Girl mascara commercials, but her head and face look HUGE. Huge as in "horse head" huge.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

An Indiana woman was arrested Wednesday on charges she gave her 11-year-old daughter alcohol and marijuana as a birthday gift, according to reports.

Davita Fuller, 26, of Anderson, Ind., has been charged with one felonious count of contributing to the delinquency of a minor after cops alleged the woman offered beer and pot to her daughter and three of her friends during a birthday party on Feb. 1, according to reports by FOX59.com and TheIndyChannel.com.

Fuller's daughter accepted the invitation, according to eyewitnesses.

"They saw her tip the alcohol beverage up and they saw her inhale what they described as a blunt," Det. Joel Sandefur of the Anderson Police Department told FOX59.com.

Fuller told police that she was smoking pot and drinking beer with her adult friends at the party, but denied giving them to her daughter, police said.

"This is something we're not going to tolerate," Sandefur said.

Phew! Thank goodness they didn't find out about me making my offspring use their allowance $ to buy me marijuana and Jack D for MY birthday! On a totally unrelated note, I've cleared off a space on my mantel for that Mother of the Year award. I'm SMELLING it! Oh, never mind. That's the marijuana I smell.

Friday, February 08, 2008

I want you all to know that I set my alarm for 4:50 a.m. to do my exercise before work this morning. That is how dedicated I am to getting healthy.I also want you to know that one minute later, I said, "Fuck that. I can exercise just as easily at 6 pm," and I promptly changed my alarm back.A few months ago BiLo (grocery store) came up with this brainy idea to start their weekly sale on Thursdays, instead of Saturdays, which is what it has been for as long as I can remember. I have no idea what they thought they were going to accomplish by this, although the ads kept insinuating they'd be getting the jump on the competition by starting their sale two days early. Doing this changes all the truck schedules and ordering schedules. Did they not see that all the other stores in the area would quickly follow suit? Now all the new sales run from Thursday to Wednesday. What's next? Starting their sales on Tuesday to get their ad out early? Ugh.

Because this is Black History Month, I'd like to talk about my favorite black person from history:Darnell, the guy who let me cut in front of him at BiLo this morning. Sure Darnell could have left me standing with my 15 boxes of Hot Pockets and 7 boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes and my Chips Ahoy. But NO! He let me go ahead of him.I'm thinking it might have something to do with the fact that I dropped a box of Hot Pockets on his foot three times...

I wonder who came up with the title "Real Wives of Orange County" and "Real Wives of New York"? Evidently somebody with a skewed idea of what a "real wife" is. They should have called it "Spoiled Brats of Orange County" or "Trophy Wives of New York."

Wow, I think the Grammy people are really tempting fate by running their ad that says, "Nothing will stop Amy Winehouse from performing."Out of control drug addicts aren't the most dependable people on the planet.

I thought the whole point of "How To Look Good Naked" was to take chubby chicks and make them feel good about themselves. If I see one more super skinny chick boo hoo'ing about how she won't go to the beach or wear a swimsuit, I'm gonna upchuck. Get over it already. You're skinny. That's half the battle won.

Now that Eli Manning is a Super Bowl winning quarterback, he has a responsibility to young kids who look up to him, as does his brother. And that means neither of these athletes should be promoting junk food like Oreos. We're reminded over and over on a daily basis that the younger generation of this nation don't exercise enough, and are getting what used to be adult onset Type 2 diabetes while still in grade school and high school, so the Manning brothers should "man up" and choose to promote healthy foods and healthy choices. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my Chips Ahoy and Chocolate YooHoo.

Sometimes I think there should be a big bubble over my head with the word "Huh?" in it, following me around. I looked and looked, and finally found my bookmarks in a FireFox file. But even after I followed the directions a couple times, it wouldn't work for me. We had to pick up my car and take the dog to the vet, so I bookmarked the page.

When we came home, I tried the bookmark and it opened up all my old stuff. I thought, "Hmm, I don't have to worry about copying them, I'll just use them from this bookmark THAT I SAVED IN BOOKMARKS...." totally oblivious to the fact that the reason I had to search for them in the first place because I LOST all my bookmarks. Ugh.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Did you ever notice when you make a purchase and it's shipped via UPS you can track that package right to it's arrival on your back porch?

Yet when you make a purchase and it's shipped USPS, the tracking information is NEVER available? If you do somehow luck out and the information has been uploaded, it's never updated so that you actually know where your package is. Makes you wonder why they even waste our time.

I'm totally done with The Young and The Restless forum. I loved being on the forum, but there was one chick who used to piss me off in her "if you don't like the show, why do you watch?" attitude. I didn't realize you had to like EVERYTHING about a show to watch it. I thought forums were to discuss opinions, and I didn't realize we all had to have the same one.

What really angers me about her is she'll say stuff about people in a thread as if they're too damn dumb to know she's talking smack about them. Then I heard she started her own forum and only invited certain people. Why? So she could talk about all the other people she doesn't like on the first forum. Classy. VERY CLASSY. It's like being in high school with the snobby chicks and their little cliques. I didn't need it then, and I certainly don't need it now.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

WOW. The last quarter of the SuperBowl was EXCELLENT!! YAY NEW YORK!!!!I only saw some of the Super Bowl commercials, but I loved the Big Ben/American Idol one and the E Trade ads with the talking baby.Especially the one with the clown. "I underestimated the creepiness." LOL!

I wish car designers would get input from the average woman as to what theywant in a car. With my next car, I don't want the gear shift by my thigh. I want it up on the console between the radio and the thermostat. I'm tired of having to move my right boob out of the way to see what gear I'm in. I don't even know how these strippers and porno chicks with huge implants drive.Between the gear shift problem on the right, and the seat belt digging into my left boob, it's fairly obvious men design the cars in this world. And not very well.

"Regular consumption of chocolate could weaken bone density and strength, which could in turn increase the risk of osteoporosis.

According to a new study, women who eat chocolate daily have an overall bone density 3.1 percent lower than those who consume it less than once a week. More than 1,000 women aged 70-85 were asked to keep a diary of how often they consumed chocolate or cocoa-based drinks.

The researchers did not distinguish between types of chocolate consumed.

Even though chocolate contains flavonols and calcium, both of which are linked to a positive effect on bone density, it also contains oxalate, an inhibitor of calcium absorption, and sugar, which is linked to calcium excretion.

This study comes less than a month after British medical journal the Lancet warned consumers that manufacturers usually remove the healthy element -- the flavonols."

Friday, February 01, 2008

My baby is in New York City!! She has a job interview and I hate to say this, but I hope she doesn't get it. It would be for two years and that's two years too far away!

So we ended up with ice and sleet, which equals that grainy stuff that's really hard to drive it. It tends to throw the car at times. Now we're getting a light coating of snow. Eh. And it's off to work I go.

I really enjoyed the new ABC show Eli Stone last night. It's difficult to describe, but Eli is an attorney who suddenly starts having visions.

The medical community say it's because of an aneurism in his brain and the spiritual community says he's a prophet. His father had the same aneruism and the same visions. The writing is sharp and clever and funny.I love Jonny Lee Miller in the title role. The only downside is Victor Garber, who I can't stand and who totally ruined the short lived show Justice. He plays Eli's boss and future father-in-law, so I'm sure he'll be on quite a bit. Unfortunately.

"How She Move." I bet Bill Cosby is turning over in his grave after hearing that movie title.

I was reading a news article about a woman whose husband became ill and shefelt a Pennsylvania State Trooper was rude to her when handling the call along the turnpike.She wrote a letter to the State Police to complain, and at one point she said that it took her 90 minutesto get to UPMC Presby because she "kept getting lost in the maze of oblique angles andone way streets you call Pittsburgh." You ROCK, lady! Driving through Pittsburgh when you'renot familiar with the city is like swimming up a waterfall. That's why I call it "The City of One Way Streets." (And I toss in a lot of swear words if I'm calling this while I'm in the city.)

You know those big blue balls (minds out of the gutter, please) they advertise on tv that youtoss into your dryer to supposedly save drying time and fabric softener sheets?Unlike the big blue balls most of you guys are used to seeing in your pants, these balls are plastic and spikey.The purpose of the spikes is for them to be constantly separating the clothes, thus reducing drying time.Don't waste you money. It took me exactly the same amount of time to dry the towels with the big blue ballsbouncing around, plus the clothes are FULL of static cling.And no, I don't want to hear about your experiences with big, blue balls...