ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 7

It’s time once again for the Emily, Jef, and Arie show! Seriously, do y’all think she has a chance with anyone else? Am I being too biased? Let’s get started!

The guys arrive and I’ll give this much to Doug – at least he’s consistent.

I love Chris Harrison but is it really necessary for him to appear at the beginning of every episode and announce where they are? Just 30 seconds before this, we saw pictures of the scenery and it said PRAGUE, in huge letters!

Luckily, Arie gets the first 1-on-1 date and I’m ready to live vicariously through Emily!

Chris is always complaining that the guys don’t think he’s mature enough to be with Emily and he is pretty much starting to prove them right. Nothing turns me off harder than a guy that pouts.

Whyyyyyy do they never show Arie without his shirt? Every other guy is shown shirtless when they are shaving! Give us what we want!

Emily kind of looked like a doctor or a dentist here until I saw the massive amount of cleavage coming out of her shirt! Someone brought out the big guns for Arie!

Looks like it’s working because Arie is admitting that he’s head over heels in love with Emily!

My boyfriend Scott tries not to watch the show with me but he overheard Emily saying that she likes kissing Emily a lot. Scott tore himself away from his iPad for a second to tell me that he thought this was really cute and he could tell that Emily is falling for Arie. He didn’t even see Emily’s face on this date and he could tell that they were falling in love.

Because I have the sense of humor of a 12 year-old, I cracked up when they were rubbing the statue for good luck and Arie kept rubbing the lady’s butt.

Basically, Cassie (who is Emily’s producer) used to date Arie 9 years ago. Emily was told that Cassie dated one of Emily’s suitors before the show started but she wasn’t told which one. Then at this point, Cassie decided to reveal to Emily that Arie was the guy.

One of Emily’s biggest characteristics that she wants in a husband is someone that’s honest. I get that she was trying to get Arie to admit that he dated Cassie without asking him but I’m pretty sure that he was told not to mention the relationship.

Regardless, I think the fact that he has his ex’s name tattooed on his body is a lot bigger of a deal than the whole Cassie situation.

Ugh! Why didn’t they show the 3 of them talking about this! It would have been major awkwardsauce and I love watching awkward situations! I’m just glad the whole thing is over so people will stop leaving me comments about it – LIKE I DIDN’T KNOW! I heard the rumors a long time ago, but I trust Cassie and knew production would take care of it. Are we all done freaking out about it now?

Chris’ head is in full-bobble mode as he gets more and more pissed about not getting a 1-on-1 date.

I can’t believe the major b*tchface Chris is giving throughout this episode! I guess at 25 you really haven’t learned that confidence is a whole lot more sexy than whatever the heck Chris is doing.

Back to Arie and Emily who have already gotten over the whole debacle. I really love their chemistry. I love it so much that I’m choosing to ignore the neckne that Arie has going on. Is it razor burn or acne? I really can’t decide.

Then Arie professes his love for Emily and while I think the timing is a little suspect – I think he was going to tell her this regardless of what just happened. I think Arie has been smitten with Emily since their first date and has being quickly falling in love since then. I know a lot of people think he’s smooth and a player but I respect his willingness to fall so quickly and be open about it. I really like his passion.

Pay attention dudes – you all need to learn how to kiss from Arie!

It really is a joke how much of a non-issue this whole debacle was! I think it says a lot that these two communicate really well and seem to work through their issues seamlessly. I would tell y’all that I think they would be perfect together but I’m pretty sure everyone knows how I feel about Arie already.

It’s time for Wolfie’s 1-on-1 and he’s always talking about how he’s more of a closer. This is not what you wear to close the deal dude. You look like a 40 year-old about to go play golf. Did you already use up all of your good outfits? Did you not expect to last this long?

Yeah, we didn’t either.

I really don’t think Emily cared about what he had on but I’m pretty sure that she was hoping for more fireworks with him.

I really do not see any chemistry between them. They are both too low-key to be a good match.

I think this John Lennon wall date idea is awesome. It makes me really sad that they just painted a boring boat. IT’S BORING LIKE THIS DATE!

Then, Emily tries to up the romantic factor by taking Wolfie to a touristy spot where people signify their love by attaching locks to a gate. It’s supposed to represent eternal love and they both could hardly keep a straight face while talking about it. When Wolfie had so much trouble getting the lock to close, I was dying with laughter at how perfect that was.

Oh you know, Chris is still pouting.

Back to Wolfie’s date and he’s pulling out the worst cheating story ever! On a serious note, I’ve been cheated on in a horrible way too and situations like this can really hurt your self-esteem. I hope that Wolfie has moved past this and knows that he deserves much, much better!

I think that if Wolfie hadn’t told this story, Emily would have definitely let him go during this date but she is way to empathetic to do that. The chemistry just isn’t there.

The group date card arrives and Crazy Chris is about to go psycho on everyone once his name is called for the group date. Dude should know by now that if you complain about not getting a date – you won’t get a date!

At first I really laughed at Sean making this devilish face at Chris because I thought he was secretly making fun of him but then I realized that he was plotting his secret rendezvous with Emily.

He runs all over Prague and miraculously finds her (LOL) but he was kinda still boring me because he always seems so restrained.

Until he pushed Emily up against the wall Arie-style!

Like for real y’all, Sean was totally jean-jamming with Emily. Now that dude can’t wait for the fantasy suite dates! (You are so totally sexually frustrated at this point I’m sure!) Heck, now I’m rooting for Sean a little bit more now!

It’s awkward group date time and Daddy Doug WILL NOT touch Emily. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

Because Daddy Doug refuses to touch Emily, Emily decides to have talk with Doug and eventually send him on his way but not before he kisses her at the most inappropriate time.

I actually pulled the covers over my head at this moment! I’m so embarrassed for Daddy Doug.

Despite his Hail-Mary kiss, Emily sends Doug packing!

Doug says that he thinks his girl radar is broken but I think the dude just needs to grow a pair and put his arm around a girl. I get that he was trying to be respectful but this is a show where you get hours and days to get to know someone!

On a lighter note, I think Doug’s ugly cry would totally marry my ugly cry and make the ugliest, crying babies.

Now that Emily sent Doug home, she has to have an awkward 2-on-1 with the jean-jammer and crazy baby eagle face.

Emily hands Sean the big key because she knows it will open the door and she’s terrified to be alone with Chris. I’d like to think that she was hoping that they could jean-jam some more.

Back at the house, everyone is talking about how annoying Chris is – with or without a rose.

Emily seems to have caught on to the mini-tantrums Chris is throwing and she’s obviously repulsed.

She really did seem more into Chris before this point but this kiss really looks like the kiss of death for him – she couldn’t be less into this!

She ends up giving Sean the group date rose, despite him reverting to boring kisses again. And I’m scared that Chris’ head is going to explode! He is such a toddler!

Back at the house, Jef is getting ready for his 1-on-1 date and Chris has been emotional eating apparently because he has suddenly developed a double chin.

Jef and Emily visit a puppet store where they buy puppets that are supposed to look like them even though they don’t. Then Jef melts my heart again when he runs back into the store to buy a Ricki puppet to complete their puppet family. I love how much Jef incorporates Ricki into their conversations! He is the cutest!

Yeah, it is a little weird that he is soooo good with puppets. I feel like that is a talent that most people don’t have.

Seeing them reenact their moments together was really cute. I especially like that their puppets as just as awkward with each other as they were at first. One thing I will say about Jef and Emily is that he knows how to make her really laugh. I know that Emily is really laughing with Jef because I used to try and make Emily laugh in the house because I love the way her real laugh sounds. Is that weird? Well, I’m kinda a weird person.

Jef reveals that he once broke up with a girl because his parents didn’t like her and Emily couldn’t be more terrified at this point. If Jef made her that nervous, I can only imagine how nervous she’s going to be around his family!

Then they lay on the floor and talk about their future together and it really is just the cutest conversation in the world. The fact that they can already imagine each other’s disciplinary roles is really cracking me up.

The Jef goes and says the best quote ever on the history of the show! PS – I don’t give a flying flip that he got this off of some e-card. That only makes me like it more so hush y’all!

Chris really needs to talk to Emily at the cocktail party and I’m really hoping that he doesn’t let those mantears start flowing!

I think Emily didn’t want to deal with anymore of Chris’ whining so she decided to not have the cocktail party!

Have y’all noticed that Chris starts rubbing his forehead vein when he is pissed?

Harrison cancels the cocktail party and I start worrying that Chris’ forehead vein is going to explode!

Wolfie looks worried too…

…but not because he has no chemistry with Emily. Because Chris looks like he is about to freak out!

Here come the mantears!!!!!!

Then he interrupts the rose ceremony (which you should never ever do unless you want everyone to hate you) and I’m cracking up at Arie’s face.

Emily looks like she really doesn’t want to go talk (I mean wasn’t that the whole point of canceling the cocktail party) but she doesn’t want to seem rude so she says ok.

Rose ceremonies are Wolfie’s favorite, y’all.

Sean and Arie share a look and I’d like to think it was because they are now bonded to each other by putting Emily up against a wall.

I’m really just embarrassed for Chris. I feel like he’s always trying to convince Emily to keep him around and that’s just sad – you should never do this in relationships.

Empathetic Emily will never send him home after this talk – she just doesn’t have the heart. I’m not sure if she had already decided to send home Wolfie but Emily likes a fighter and she probably liked that Chris was fighting for her.

She still looked pretty heartbroken to send home Wolfie – he did really open up to her a lot and I know she really appreciated that.

Wow, Chris is moodier than toddlers I’ve nannied. He’s acting like he didn’t have PMS for the past 4 days.

Emily’s face when she sent home Wolfie really broke my heart. I can’t imagine how hard it is going to be for her these next couple of episodes!

Don’t worry dude! You’ll find someone great – I already know a couple of Bachelorette girls that are obsessed with ya! We’ll set ya up at the reunion

So what did y’all think about this episode? Was the Arie/Cassie/Emily situation blown out of proportion? Does Arie totally love Emily? Did you want to put Chris in the corner and withhold his dinner? Did Wolfie and Doug deserve to go home? Does Jef steal your heart more and more every week?

Remember to head on over to my blog http://www.saynotocosmo.com for more commentary on the Bachelor/Bachelorette world as well as my musings on relationships and why Cosmo is bad for you!

Also, every week I’m doing a blog for RealityNation.com called Spivey Says! I give my thoughts immediately after every episode of the Bachelorette and answer any questions y’all have about the show! Head on over to check it out!