Friday, October 8, 2010

Before 30

I turn 30 in less than 3 weeks. People have asked me how I feel about entering into the 4th decade of my life and I just stare at them like a deer in headlights. How am I supposed to feel? The majority of my close friends have already turned 30. Some of them had minor breakdowns while others dove right in without getting their feet wet first. I definitely fall into the latter category - I'm welcoming my 30s with open arms. I've always been the youngest in my group of friends, the youngest in my class, etc. so every major birthday or milestone in life was already experienced by those around me and I typically felt left in the dust - especially when everyone was driving and I was only 15, or when everyone could go to bars and I was stuck at home drinking alone with alcohol that someone else had to purchase for me (ok, that rarely never happened, but you get the idea).

The other day, Krysten had a great post about turning 30 so I'm shamelessly stealing it from her. Hi, Krysten! :-)

Things You Should Have By 30

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come - I sort of have a "one who got away". He was the guy I dated through most of college, and even though our relationship was rocky we've still remained friends and he's still a great guy. We tried to get back together a couple years after that but it just didn't work. We both fucked a lot of things up but he was my first love and I'll always look back on our relationship with (mostly) happy memories. As for one who reminds me of how far I've come? Whoa boy, yes. We dated for a little over a year, then he broke up with me ON VALENTINE'S DAY. I was completely devastated and it took me a good 6 months to get over that. We kind of got back together eventually, but I had made a lot of changes in my life and realized very quickly that I didn't want to be dating an self-centered asshole.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family - Several. I lived by myself for about 4 years and furnished my whole apartment on my own. Most of it was Ikea, some of it was used Craigslist stuff, but I did splurge and buy myself a nice couch when I was 25. I sold the couch when I moved in with The Scientist because it just didn't look good in our apartment, but buying that couch made me feel very grown up.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. I suppose...I have several standard "work" outfits, but I don't actually own a full business suit. I have nice pants and nice dress shirts that look professional. As for the man of my dreams? I already have him, but if he wants to see me in an hour I have plenty of things in which I could dress to impress.

4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. I'll never spend more than $40 on a purse, but I'm definitely not ashamed of the ones I do have. I have a suitcase, but it's nothing fancy. It's just a black suitcase...And as for the umbrella? Seattleites don't own umbrellas.

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. Absolutely. Most of my youth was full of joy and fun and parts were challenging and difficult. Those experiences have molded me into who I am today and I'm always looking forward to the future! There are so many things I haven't done yet.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. Oh, you mean like that time I worked in a strip club with my roommate (we were waitresses, not dancers!) or the time my friends and I almost got caught, buck naked, skinny dipping in the lake after the park had closed?

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it. Sometimes I'm more aware of this but mostly this thought has a quiet little corner in the back of my mind. I have a minuscule retirement fund that I KNOW I need to continue to grow, but you know, the whole unemployment thing has put a bit of a damper on that.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you. Yeah...are there really people in this day and age who don't (not counting those of you have joint accounts with your spouse)? I'm confused.

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. Yes. After all the interviews I've had over the last couple years, I've very diligently tweaked my resume to reflect my work history 100% accurately. Whether that's actually helped me get a job is a different story. I kid, I kid. Sort of.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. All of my friends do this and so does The Scientist.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. I have a full tool set and several lace bras, my drill isn't CORDLESS. It plugs into the wall. I guess I fail this one.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. I bought myself a pair of diamond earrings a few years ago. I love them.

13. The belief that you deserve it. Yep. This has mostly come from accepting responsibility for the mistakes I've made and realizing that most of the bad things that have happened to me in my life have been my own fault. I've learned to make better choices for myself and have earned my successes.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. My skincare regimen is simple. I wash my face every morning and every night. I moisturize. I wear sunscreen during the day. I have an exercise routine that works, but I don't always follow through :-P

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better. Abso-fucking-lutely.

What about you? Have you turned 30 yet? Do you have these things? Is there anything else that you think should be added to this list?

Well since I turn 31 the week after you turn 30 I suppose it's a little late now. I've got the gist of those down-- #1 is a little bit of a stretch given that I met my husband at 17 and #11 the tools belong to Marc, but I can use them if I need to. And I'm not sure my youth was particularly juicy. But I do have my own separate checking account-- I highly recommend it even in marriage. Happy almost birthday Stevie!

I guess I'm going to need a black lace bra in the next 2 years. I am so bad about undergarments. My Husband always wants to buy me some but I'm like "why? they just end up on the floor and you're the only one who sees them" basically I'm running on two bras. Pathetic.

At this point in my life I'm just happy to be alive. To see friends who have been diagnosed with cancer or other misfortunes, the older I am, the happier I'll be ;) I think you're ready.

@Krysten - I know, right? He was totally clueless about everything. Ugh.

@Sabrina - Your bachelorette party was juicy, we were in another country! I like the idea of having a joint account for big things, and then separate accounts for the smaller stuff.

@Kelsey - I'm definitely ready, and The Scientist is 31 so it's old hat to him. ;-)

@Nikki - No kidding! That's why I never spend much money on undergarments. But it is nice to wear something really pretty under your clothes - it's like a little secret or something. And I hear ya on the happy to be alive point. I've seen too many people close to me lose their battle with cancer. We should all be grateful!

@Nilsa - Nope, we usually just bundle up in our North Face jackets or put on a hat, or just get wet. Since it rains all the time during the winter and spring, carrying around an umbrella everywhere we go just gets cumbersome, so we forgo it entirely :-)

@Ari - You should make yourself a cute purse since the stuff you make for your Etsy shop is so dang cute!