THINGS I WAS USING FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT REALIZING THEY WERE COVERED IN PISS

Three kids, four dogs, four cats. I've dealt with a lot of piss in the past 17 years.

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Various pairs of pants

Nothing worse than being halfway to work and realizing your pants aren't just cold... Fucking dog

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Remote control

Why's this button stuck...? OH MY GOD

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Couch cushion

GODDAMNIT DOG!!!

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Bed Pillow

It's 3am... I flip the pillow over for the cool side and all of a sudden I'm face to face with my dogs "territory."

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Umbrella

Just last week. Walked 2 miles to the car shop in the rain. Half way there, having had the umbrella in both hands AND LEANING AGAINST MY FACE, I realize it's covered in piss. COVERED. And the only reason I have he umbrella is so I can text as well which means...

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Oh no my phone

Yep because of that umbrella, I had piss all over my hands, which means it's also all over my phone. Grody.

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The dog

Apparently my two terriers pee on each other a lot.

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Work shirt

Here's the set up. I had to run out the door without ironing my shirt. We've got a steamer at work, so I'm not worried. But I walk into the door and there's already a customer. 3 hours later I finally get a break to go to backroom and steam my shirt. Halfway through the backroom is engulfed with "dog pheromones"... I'm like wtf... Ever want to make a urine smell 1000x worse? Steam it. I put my jacket on and walked to Old Navy.

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Work shirt.

Didn't realize until I got to work, and then was forced to wear the same shirts as the team members. And of course, the owner of the company came in that day and asked my boss if I had been demoted😶