Do managers honestly think that anyone would be offended if they said “We’ll skoosh this one, nae bother, can’t wait until the next round” prior to a cup tie against a team three divisions below them?

Of course not, but it’s exactly what the fans want to hear and it gets everyone pumped up before the match.

You’re not really going to piss off a bunch of part-time players on wages 1/100th of what your second-choice left-back is on if you announce to anyone who’ll listen prior to kick off that you're going to destroy these kid-on footballers.

And apparently every single ‘stadium’ in Scotland, down to the two-men-and-a-dug public parks that are called home by some of the lesser lights in the Juniors world is ‘always a difficult place to go to’.

There’s one current Premiership manager who arranged a sit-down exclusive interview with a veteran journalist and the latter called a halt to it after a couple of minutes because this dull as ditchwater gaffer refused to say anything.

And, in another example, an extrovert and lively forward at a bottom-six club gave some very interesting and enlightening quotes following yet another drubbing, only for his manager to falsely deny he had said any of it. What exactly are these planks of wood frightened of?

Let’s face it, it’s been far from a vintage season on the pitch, so the least the managers could do is entertain the punters with some decent quotes before, after and, even better, during the games.

Nature abhors a vacuum so in the absence of gaffers metaphorically knocking the sh*t out of each other in the media, you get nutjobs on twitter making up a load of shite about x, y and z, and that’s as close to ‘controversy’ as it gets.

Bring in the likes of Frankie Boyle and Kevin Bridges as scriptwriters prior to the pre and post-match conferences and watch things really liven up.

Currently they’re all advised by media strategists (ie PR dullards) who manage to pull off the incredible feat of being even more boring than the managers they work for.

Wouldn’t you just love to see a couple of Premiership bosses hollering to their opposite number that he's "a complete d*ck" after every match and then being physically restrained in the car park instead of going for the standard ‘glass of red and a chat, no hard feelings pal’?

It would be worth the admission fee/TV licence/satellite subscription on its own. Maybe getting more women bosses would be the answer.

Any decent half-time cat-fight (eg Kate Upton v Vanessa Hudgens) would definitely pull in the punters and is a lot more desirable than all this "I respect him, he respects me" bullsh*t.