One scheme “that’s growing more and more common,” of which they warn: tossing your stuff in the passenger side of your car, then walking to the driver’s side. Those nanoseconds of divided attention present an golden opportunity for hardened criminals. Though CBS cites no incidents, they observe one Lisa Guy, who “left her driver’s side door open,” then “tossed her purse in the trunk” (?), making her bags “an easy target.” When confronted, an apparently rattled Guy says, “I’m gonna look out now — I never heard of that.” Nor had we.

Police further urge shoppers, per Channel 2, to “keep their finger on the panic button.” Also in danger: “women walking alone at night.” Says another female shopper accosted by reporters with this assertion, “You don’t go out at 11 o’clock, you know, walking around by yourself.” The report is filed from Bergen County, New Jersey; your terror may vary.