Trump Announces He Has Possession Of Fourth Secret Of Fatima; Claims The Other Secrets Were Fake News

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced today that the Trump administration has obtained the Fourth Secret of Fatima, which reportedly details the fake news contained in all of the other secrets of Fatima.

“According to President Trump, at around noon today, the Virgin Mary entrusted him with the secret,” Spicer told EOTT. “The President wrote the secret down and sealed it in the envelope I am now holding up, and that was not to be opened until later on in this press briefing .”

According to one official close to the President, the fourth secret involves Russia, North Korea, Syria, and the “hopeful start date” of World War III. It also outlines how the second secret was fake news, since it requested that Russia be converted when it, in fact, should have spoken about “the world being converted to Russia.”

Spicer later went on to say that “Though I can’t go over all the specific details regarding how the President came into possession of the fourth secret, I can say that it is true that he did indeed receive it, and that it’s by far the best and most successful of all the other secrets, and in fact, more people have wanted to hear the details about his secret than any other secret anyone has ever had in the history of the world.”