Thursday, June 29, 2017

She loves putting on hats I wear in the sun. I notice a few freckles on her face :)

An old picture abut 7 years ago, another hat on her head :)

Daughter Laurie in New York visiting granddaughter who is expecting in December,
this morning sent to me - makes me smile - an old picture, probably 22 years ago taken
on their visit to me at the old farm house....it was on Jess's refrigerator, brought tears of this memory
and the fact that she put it on her frig - a visit to grandma's in the country - years ago...

Early morning a special angel pulled in the drive
I said, Lana it is so early and I am not even dressed, her reply as she handed me a package
"fresh cinnamon roll I made this morning, still warm for you."
and just made fresh Lemon Verbena soap - now this is my favorite.

To me she is an angel, eggs from her chickens yesterday....

Now what do you do for someone this special
I pray for her, love her, hug her, thank her and to me it seems not enough.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

You have to eat, busy morning and always in the freezer Black Bean and Corn burgers.
So easy to warm with cheese on top, place on bed of mixed greens with some sliced carrots, radishes
and a few black bean chips with spoon full of Humus, ate 1/2 and the remainder in a few hours.

Knock at the door a little after 7:00, a little earlier then expected but desperately needed the help.
Teenage son of one who built railing. Good, but had to stay with him pointing out much.
Living at the edge of the old woods there is continual clean up of branches and sticks so grass can
be cut. a few other things done and after a little over 3 hours took him home. A quick trip down
country roads that in the past so familiar with and been several years since on these winding roads.
Made it, but was a little uncomfortable not wanting to get lost.

Waiting for results of another test. Have learned much from my new doctor. Never knew all of my
health issues probably began with Sjogrens 15 years ago. Never heard of this and thought just dry mouth and eyes. Not so it continues onward with arthritis, colon and bladder issues and onward.

My new local doctor, Dr. Teresa Williams is now part of MD VIP. You can look it up online, it is a special practice with limited patients, you pay a yearly sum that is well worth it.
A doctor has never spent so much time with me as in this last month. A total profile
of this one from doctors in the past, a clear picture of all that is going on with this body and will
probably continue. So much listening she has done and kindness directed towards me as I have
spent some scary times in the hospital over the last couple of years that maybe could have been avoided when I knew nothing else to do and do not want to repeat. (I was a patient of Dr. Williams
a short time in the past but stopped seeing her when she went to this new practice) Now I desperately need her wisdom and direction...

One difference is a regular doctor maybe has 5,000 patients and cannot spend much time with you
so much is not communicated between the two of you - this limited practice maybe 600 patients.
In past years I probably would not have gone this route, now at 82 and a lot of health issues arising I need this
attention and more direction. Another factor is my children not near, frequent visits but they are busy with their careers and families.

I know in the heart it will not give me longevity but hopefully a better quality of life in time
left for me on this planet.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Jamie and my Amelia an early morning visit, off to have breakfast and back home.
Oh they were enjoyed so much. Callie loves company...

What a show flowers are presenting

Girls have left, friend arrived with small slice of her Zucchini bread with blueberries.
I always use crushed pineapple and walnuts - will have to try this, also a small slice of Swiss Chard Quiche and a slice of fresh Peach pie - so good and I called to see how she made this, different.
Said she always used the jello flavor of the fruit, mixed thick. Want to try this with fruit.
Miss cooking and baking but still not up to the getting everything out on counter :(

So lunch time and on a bed of mixed greens 1/2 slice of a bean and corn burger, topped with cheese,
tomato and avocado. Just picked a few herbs, mint for my tea and basil and chives to add to salad
my day has ended it started early - like 5:00 with me using blower on new drive and dead heading lilies :)

All would be perfect in this beautiful world
if their was no pain and balance problem. Walking about 6 times a day on this small portion of
drive now finished. Love it....

Earlier in the week a special open house with new doctor at a new coffee shop in this small town.
I tried Cuban with some kind of froth on top - will have to check it out more thoroughly.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Cortisone shot on Monday and face looks like I have spent days in the sun,
did not take affect immediately like those in the past.
I hobbled in and Stacy the nurse replied "why did you wait so long you could have received this shot 3 weeks ago?)
replied just trying to go as long as I could, not a good idea as pain was horrible.
Appointment made in 3 weeks for shoulders. Never the one who took medication and now seems
if I want some quality of life in these 80's and who knows how long I will live :) I will have to be more diligent in taking these shots.

I continue long consultation times with my new doctor. I always just referred to my body as full
of arthritis, never 2 things. Now I realize it is Rheumatoid, because of all the pain, it is from my auto immune disorder
Sjogrens ( diagnosed 12 years ago - never heard of it :) and now osteo settling in as there is deterioration lik e in my knee - just wearing out and if much younger would have knee placement but cannot now.
Lucky me all of this did not start until my 70's. So many young people have this.condition, so
I had many perfect years...

Now I know that the body does not last forever :)

Special friend brought me lunch yesterday - so good
and healthy - broccoli salad and Waldorf salad (chopped apples, grapes, celery, etc) chicken salad.
I will duplicate soon along with tuna or egg salad and also she brought a slice of chocolate chip pie.
Pushing more food as with every time short hospital stay I loose weight, Need to gain 5 lbs.
Adding a protein shake daily from now,
I have always been petite, never ate a lot but now at the point I need too and do not have much appetite. Always loved to cook, bake and can. Seems I have to push now. Guess it is all
natural but remembering family before me with arthritis, they just sat and had plenty of weight.
I am a mover, love to do but need to eat more :)

Doctor said to eat often, even a snack in the middle of the night.

They arrived to finish drive this afternoon, only did 1/3 of drive, down past my Wood haven sign , still another 800 feet to road. So nice and I can walk many times daily.
Should have done it years ago but always watching finances, gravel drive did not bother me
but now cannot walk on it with cane in hand, need to walk a lot, hate to have anyone drive on my new drive it:) barriers up
to protect another day....

Saturday, June 17, 2017

New header my two youngest children out for lunch on Jimmy's visit here during March and April.
Youngest granddaughter.

I go outside, walk carefully with cane in hand
sun is brightly shining
new blooms daily
and oh how I miss deadheading my lilies and bending over to pull a weed.

Some could not relate to my comment
but this one with a life filled with gardening
misses these simple pleasures. But so much to be thankful for at this moment.
I miss my family but it is the way it is when you reach this stage of life and not possible
for them to be here with me more then they are.
I have never been needy, do not like sharing that it seems it is happening even with
all of my interests.

So much accomplished in the past through my joy of creating and thankful for being allowed to return
to this beautiful wooded surrounded retreat.

Thoughts return to emergency hospital visit. Beth my nurse daughter was on the way, Jamie the
writer also but then a flat tire. My Laurie, the artist in Maine and special son Jimmy in Thailand
where he teaches Yoga.
Now home but miss these 4 grown children of mine and 5 exceptional grandchildren, one in Washington, DC, New York and Nantucket and my two youngest in the big city not far away,

I do not like being limited in what I can do and very difficult for me to accept.
Driving, but not at the moment, Balance horrible and cannot fall,
do not like the cane but it is a must and so thankful to have a trusted driver (but when needed at time
911 call was made - he was on vacation in Florida

I have returned to a local internist, the best in this small city. and probably the best in many areas I stopped seeing her several years ago
when she became a part of MD VIP.
Thought I could not justify the cost.
Now I realize this will keep me healthier in my remaining years, in my special cottage and need the special attention
I have been receiving.
Hours have been spent with me this past week and have needed the advice given
but was trying to do it my way.

Sad that I have left my past health person, Sherry so kind and her nurse Peyton but seems I need a little more attention at this time,.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Calling for an all day rain, need to eat and spaghetti sounded good, have not made in a long time.

Ground meat, tomato sauce, onions, mushrooms all on hand and in the crisper 1/2 red and yellow pepper.
I have never seen these used but just threw in there anyway. At the end, will sneak out in the rain
for some of my fresh Basil, garlic on hand and even a tiny bottle of white wine, will add all of that.
and grade some fresh Parmesan cheese on it.
So sounds tasty and hope it is.

I always keep ground beef, veal and other ground meats in the freezer and freeze in 1/2 lb sections that are handy
for me to use for cooking. Can use several if making a large amount.

Last week a friend stopped by and brought a slice of apple cake she had made and I asked for
the recipe. Bake in a 8 x 8 pan and have the 2 apples and walnuts on hand to chop for cake.
Soon will make....

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The market in local town has remodeled and expanded, so many new items

Love any kind of seafood and noticed Salmon Croquettes they make (made with Sockeye Salmon) with an addition of Spinach and Feta cheese
purchased one for meal tomorrow and soon will try and reproduce here in my kitchen.
Also crab cakes they were making, bought one for afternoon meal, just finished and it was
excellent, next trip to market will inquire about ingredients, These two are favorites of mine.

So much in the crisper and chopped up green, yellow, red pepper, carrots, celery and broccoli, yellow squash and zucchini for stir fry. Was so good and will finish stir fry with the salmon..- so good and gave me a new idea of something different, fast and easy to prepare when family visits.

Love my new drive and firm enough for me to try out in a while, even before they add the black top This picture shows a glimpse of new handrail..

A good day for me today as yesterday was not as told no other antibiotic I can take for bladder infections all that have healed me in the past I now am allergic too
and they will have to do an IV in the future, did not quite understand. Will do research on this. Made me sad but have to accept

About Me

This Journal is being written for my pleasure, my children and my grandchildren. Sharing some of my past, present and thoughts for future. It is the Journal of a sensitive soul who has entered her 8th decade. My life journey has taken me down a lot of roads with many twists and turns. It's not the journey that I would have visualized at the age of 25 when a third child was on the horizon. I love the warmth of the sun, sound of rain, a crackling fire, simplicity and elegance. Find pleasure in sitting on my porch with tea in a china cup and digging in the earth. I am more myself at this time of life than ever before. A considerable part of my past was in the business world, multi tasking and being super organized. Today I am trying to simplify and be more mindful. Also learning about this journey through aging and Sjogren's Syndrome.
It is not as easy as I thought, even though I have a lot of solitude at this time of life. My days fly by and I do not think I have enough time left on earth to do and experience all that is the desire of my heart.
One thing I am sure of is that I could not make it on this journey without my daily prayer and meditating time.