Wednesday, August 3, 2016

MtO: There seem to be two main categories
that those with an LDS background fall into. First, there are individuals who
are or were faithful, active participants, fulfilling their callings and other
LDS-specific duties (i.e. temple service, mission service); then there are
those who have an LDS background, but have never been particularly active, or
have been semi-active at best. Tell us about your LDS background and whether or
not you see yourself as falling into one of these two categories. Where did you
grow up? Were you and your family active in the LDS faith? How many generations
of your family have been LDS? Did you serve a mission? Did you marry in an LDS
temple?

I grew up in North Ogden, Utah. The LDS Church and our
faith was definitely the center of our life as a family. Growing up in the town
that my family helped settle, and playing regularly on the land that had been
farmed for several generations strongly impacted me. If I didn't know anything
else about myself growing up, I knew that I was a descendent from pioneers and that
meant something. The strong connection to my heritage as a Mormon was a central
guiding force in my life. I was

a fairly
quiet, skinny kid. I wasn't athletic, and didn't really shine academically
either despite the aptitude. I preferred daydreaming and tinkering to playing
with balls, cars, action figures, television, or video games. So, as a
daydreaming LDS kid, much of my life revolved around the ideas I was taught
about pre-mortal life, post-mortal life, and the nature of existence in
general. I didn't really have close friends, so God became someone I talked to
a lot.

As I got older I did find some great friends, went through
high school pretty normal for a kid who doesn’t exactly have a solid place in
high school. Then, like most LDS young men, I was conflicted about whether to
pursue my dreams right away or whether to serve as a missionary. I struggled
with many of the same things most young men struggle with that might make a
person feel unworthy of teaching others to repent. However, I had an experience
that really impacted me. The Spring before I needed to put my mission
application in. I walked out the front door of our home to sit on the porch,
and was hit squarely in the face with the overwhelming acknowledgement and
manifestation that absolutely everything I was seeing, everything I was, and
everything I had, was given to me and there because God was allowing me to be
and have what I had. It was the experience that led me to serve a mission for
the LDS church as a small effort to return a small portion of my life and being
to God—a sort of tithe of my life you might say.

I was assigned to the Mexico, Oaxaca mission. It was an
incredible opportunity to be able to be part of the inner lives of so many
wonderful people in that part of the world. It really gave me a lot of
perspective on life. I saw on a daily basis what is "necessary," and
what is luxury.

You asked
about marriage. I wanted to get married as soon as I could. My mission tempered
some of my pipe dreams a bit, and I wanted to come home, get married, and have
a family as soon as I could. However, it wasn't until I was 28 that I finally
found the girl I knew would be my wife. We met, had a short engagement and were
married in the Brigham City LDS temple. And, if I could put a finger on the
single most binding aspect of our relationship, it was that of common worship.
You can imagine what a crusher it was when I found I couldn't believe in some
of the things I had always taken as eternal truths in the LDS Church—and what a
blow it was, in turn, on her. She stuck by our marriage when I left the LDS
Church, but it nearly killed us

and is
still a lot of work—as any marriage is, I suppose.

Tell us about how you transitioned from
faithful member of the LDS Church to an Orthodox Christian.

Not long after my grandparents died, I started doing more
genealogy work to get to know my ancestors better. I always felt a closer bond
to my grandparents than I did to my parents, and doing genealogy work was my
way of filling in that lost bond to the past. I began wondering what their
experience of the LDS Church was like, and what it would have been like to
actually know Joseph Smith. It was a huge epiphany to me that I really didn't
know Joseph Smith at all, yet on a regular basis I claimed to know that he was
a prophet. The handful of stories I knew about him seemed like hardly enough to
continue to claim that I knew he was a prophet. So, I set out to get to know
him on a more personal level.

I bought Richard Bushman's Rough Stone Rolling, and didn't
make it very far before I realized that my vision of who he was didn't even
come close to reality. My research into the Book of Mormon didn't have to go
very far either. I simply couldn't be a believing, tithing paying LDS person. I
tried being a non-believing, attending Mormon for a while—attempting the
cafeteria Mormon thing. However, when we moved to a new place to establish
residency for graduate school, and I had to integrate into a new ward,
everything fell apart. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't go to church every
week, look into the faces of everyone and try to convince them that I was one
of them. It was also becoming more difficult for me to continue believing in
any religious thought at all. I started reading Dawkins and Hitchens as well as
Boghossian. I became pretty militant in my efforts to "disabuse"
other believers of their delusions. But, there was this little part of me that,
although I could deny that Jesus Christ was divine internally, I just couldn't
do it vocally without feeling absolutely dead inside. And, there were parts of
my life that became very difficult to explain without something greater than
existence to account for it.

I had
been through a really bad break-up with another church, and didn't know how God
could be present in any other one. I was also very wary of the Roman Catholic
Church and Protestant churches because of the apostasy narrative I'd grown up
with and what I had seen in Latin America, so I just didn't have much hope that
I would be open to faith again. Given the experiences of my life, however,
there was a part of me that was just holding out for something to grasp onto to
give me hope enough to believe. I was an atheist because I felt I couldn't in good
conscience claim to believe in God.

That was when I entered into a friendly exchange with a
friend about some of the arguments for God that I had been led to believe were
hollow. I have always firmly believed that the point of discourse and debate is
to come closer to truth, not to simply come out on top of the argument. He
asked questions about faults he saw in my logic, and I answered sincerely. I
asked questions about faults I thought I saw in the arguments he posed, and he
answered sincerely; and in a short time, there was enough reason to hope that
my heart won out over my head, (or possibly my better educated head won out
over my wounded heart?), and I had to confess to myself that I was a believer
of some kind so I should act accordingly and commit myself to Christ.

More important in the reckoning of things was probably the
acknowledgement that if God were the being I had known most of my life as a
being of love, a relationship with Him would entail choosing Him. How could I
choose if I were forced to believe? I had to admit to myself that ultimately I
had to choose to believe. I had to choose to enter into a relationship with
God. (This is very difficult for us. We like to know the end from the beginning.
We like to know that our investment is safe. But, this is the way things are in
a trusting, loving relationship.) And, it was a leap I was willing to take
after several agonizing days of internal struggle.

At this point, this friend passed along some good books on
Orthodoxy and I visited a local parish. The first time I attended Divine
Liturgy, the worship spoke to me. The songs being sung had nothing to do with
anything besides the worship of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; and petitions
for the benefit of all people. I cried as I stood in the presence of God's
Kingdom. There were so many things I didn't understand. But, I knew that the
choir singing and the smoke of the incense, and the physical worship of God was
right. I made an appointment to meet with the priest and began devouring as
many books as I could get my hands on about Orthodoxy. I found that the
theology spoke to my soul and matched with my experience of God. There were
quirks I didn't quite understand, but I was willing to withhold judgement in
favor of the theology and my desire to unite myself to Christ, the lover of my
soul.

Somehow it was all so complex, but as simple as the Cross
itself. It made all the sense in the world, but at the very same time was
beyond understanding and crazy.

Interesting
enough, my introduction to Orthodoxy was around the beginning of Lent, and I
was baptized a few weeks after Pascha. Somehow the spirit of Great & Holy
Lent reached out to me although I still was not baptized and pulled me into the
embrace of our loving mother, the hospital of my soul, The Church, and Christ's
love.

I am sure that the difficulties you
experienced during this transition period resonate with many of us who have
converted from the LDS faith to Orthodoxy. That said, each of us are drawn to
the faith for unique reasons. What are the main factors that drew you to Orthodox
Christianity?

I am a physical/tactile person, so the physical form of
worship is good for me. My soul and body are found in the same place and
created by the same God. I like that they get to worship as one person. The
balance of mysticism and philosophy in the Orthodox tradition appeals to me as well.
The coward in me likes to keep my feet on the solid ground of good philosophic
rigor, while the poet in me likes to simply BE with God and let Him teach me in
ways that are beyond speaking. The ascetic nature of Orthodox life is good for
me. I need the constant opportunities for self-deprivation and struggle, and I
like the way that the Orthodox tradition gives me plenty of room for this.

I also find a lot of value in the variety of perspectives
and practices within Orthodoxy. Despite being on the outside very rigid in its
hold to tradition, it is surprisingly extremely flexible, and fosters the life
of Christ in every way. Be strict with yourself, but charitable and forgiving
with everyone else. There is a lot of openness for a variety of views on
theological and practical matters. This is good. The runners are allowed to
run, while those who can only walk are just as acceptable in their walking.

Did you ever consider any of the other
apostolic faiths (Roman/ Eastern Catholicism, Oriental Orthodoxy)? If so, why
did you ultimately choose Eastern Orthodox Christianity?

I really had no need to look further once entering an
Orthodox church and experiencing the worship there. I was open to possibly
being disappointed by it and needing to visit other churches. But, I really
didn't need to go very far to know that I was where I needed to be.

What are the main differences or changes you
have seen in your life since becoming an Orthodox Christian?

My wife might disagree, ha ha, but I feel that I'm a more
patient, loving person than I used to be. Orthodoxy has entirely changed the
way I relate to the world around me. Although I still struggle, I am more
willing to accept each person with his/her weaknesses struggling in the same
fallen world. Glory to God for any good change that has happened to me; it's
not my grace that has worked any change in my heart, but His.

Do you have a favorite saint? If so, why is
she/ he your favorite?

My patron saint is St. Gregory Palamas. I really admire his
ability to know when to keep his mouth shut and when to open it. Although he
preferred a solitary, silent life, he was prepared to open his mouth and defend
the faith articulately. He was well-versed in philosophy, but was also a major
defender of the mystic traditions of the Church.

The other Saint whose life I frequently think about is St.
Nikolaos of Myra. Charity and love are everything—but don't toot your horn
about it. Do good because it is right, and let God see if He wants to.

What is one thing about the Orthodox Christian
faith, or your own personal conversion to Orthodoxy, that you would like LDS
people to know?

Orthodoxy may be very different from the type of worship
you are used to. It may seem strange to stand for nearly an hour and a half,
burn incense, kiss images of holy people, or make the sign of the cross over
oneself. But, withhold judgment long enough to listen, watch, and attempt to
understand, and He who gives understanding will open the eyes of the blind and
the ears of the deaf. And, even if you still disagree with many things, you
will come away understanding why we love the God who loved us first. This is
the cornerstone of all of existence—that God loved the world enough to bring it
into existence, and enough to save it when we screw it all up. And, we having
been created in His image, must also make love the cornerstone of our lives. If
“(I) have not love, I am nothing.” It is the motivation of our repentance, our
gratitude, and our life in Him who is Love.

Friday, April 3, 2015

I am very excited to share with you this newest conversion story from Deacon Athanasius. What follows is the autobiographical account of his conversion. Enjoy!

“God forbid that I should boast except in the Cross of our Lord
Jesus” - Galatians 6:14

Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord bless us Amen.

My journey to the Holy and Apostolic Orthodox Church is one of
great turmoil and upheaval yet a story of God’s grace and mercy undeserved. It started with my father becoming Mormon in
1966 when he found my mother was pregnant with me, being born six months after
their LDS wedding. My mother was a fourth generation Mormon, whereas my father
was raised Anglican in Liverpool, England.

For eighteen years I attended all and every LDS service from
Sunday school, cubs, scouts, MIA, acted as a Home teaching companion for my
father and went to all manner of conferences culminating in me attending one
year of high school @ Church College in New Zealand (1983). My father by faith gave
his all to the church and to the service of the LDS people; every spare second
was spent away from home to the detriment of all family relationships – and his
LDS reward, promotion to Bishop, Stake Councillor, Regional Rep and Mission
Presidency etc.

It was in this period of rapid promotion of my father that I felt
a deep conflict about the LDS teachings and way of life, I completed seminary
(my mother was the teacher for 3 of the 4 years) and I even interviewed to
serve a mission, but in a heartfelt moment of clarity I declared to the Stake
President I wasn’t “worthy” as the matter was more for the “family name and
reputation” than out of any personal belief in the LDS teachings, that is not
to say that the LDS church is not filled with some awesome people trying their
best with the limited view of Church history they have chosen to accept.

Given my doubts and need to know the truth (by asking those
difficult questions Sunday school teachers hate) it didn’t mean I hadn’t
experienced the grace and mercy of God a number of times (near death in a car
accident and the same when drowning whilst surfing) I had in private moments of
tears and prayers been left with a sense that The Lord was near and His love
was evident in hindsight of my survival to this day despite my best efforts to
ignore Him and go my on way.

So I left home to wonder the world for twenty seven years –
travelled extensively USA, UK, Europe, Australia, all of Asia experiencing
tremendous financial success and spectacular failure which culminated in
becoming homeless in 2011. In my travels I had seen first-hand many religions,
from Buddha to Baptist to Jew but never felt any real connection to them and in
fact found myself in a state of disdain at the “one day a week Christians”, in
weakness and folly I dared to judge and formed a view that religion was made by
man for man’s own ego and not to glory of Christ. Then in a state of absolute
despair and contemplating suicide I meet Arch Priest James – an Orthodox Priest
of 20 years serving the homeless and poor on the streets in winter. I looked on
in awe at how the homeless greeted him with hugs, smiles, handshakes, sharing
laughter and food, it was a his deep concern and unconditional love for the
poor that struck me, time and again I witnessed his generosity and simple life
style, God had planted a seed in me that yearned to be watered by Him.

May 30th 2012 I was asked to attend a meal at the
homeless shelter run my Arch Priest Fr James, little was I to know that it was
not a communal meal but just me, a friend and the Fr James. As I entered the
small humble church (in an old warehouse) with all its icons and relics I was
struck by the peace emanating from the St Marcy icon… Fr James had prepared a
simple meal for us to share and in his uniquely robust and forthright manner
wanted to know my story to the state of homelessness.

As I shared that journey through Mormonism, Baptist, Buddhist and
through successive job promotions to CEO of public company to homelessness he
said nothing, but his deep blue eyes glazed with an intense and scary scrutiny that
I could feel blow right through me. At the end, he simply said “God exists,
your sins and free will have brought you to this point”… I did not comprehend
his statement and so asked some questions about Orthodoxy, laughing he said
“come to bible study and all will be revealed”, at which point I was offered a
room in the shelter, eyes filled with tears and overwhelmed I felt the Lord had
shed a thousand pounds of my darkness and by His mercy shown this wretched man
His love.

For three months I attended any and all bible studies (twice a
week) and liturgies (twice a week) I could to understand what exactly Orthodoxy
was, remarkably Fr James gave me plenty of time at the end of the bible studies
and I was afforded the blessing of being able to ask many questions to fill the
void and remove the misinformation I had learnt about Christ, filling my heart
with joy at His life, His love and plan for me.

The catalyst for asking to be baptised Orthodox was three fold;

The one Holy Apostolic church has always been on earth since
Christ and is active through Bishops, priests and deacons with the Holy mystery
of liturgy and the divine body/blood.

The authority given by Christ to the Apostles to “bind on earth
shall be bound in Heaven” has been passed down to this present day and that
same authority provided a path of repentance and absolution of hidden and
visible sin.

Christ through my weakness, frailty and sin was showing me
undeserved grace and mercy calling me to Him, showing me what a Christ like
life is in the service of others and the selfless attitude needed to be at peace
whilst mindful of ones state at all times (evidenced by Fr James but also
historically by Bishops, Priests, Deacons, Saints, Monks and lay people).At baptism Fr James asked me if I wished to follow the tradition of being “renamed” and this I agreed to by his choice of names – hence I am Athanasius - Post baptism I spent hundreds of hours in study, pray and service to the poor and in doing so found a deeper personal faith in Christ, a profound love for St Mary and witnessed numerous miracles that served to show me that “fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom”.

Being ordained by an Orthodox Bishop to the servant office of
Deacon has revealed further insight of the awe inspiring mystery of Christ’s
Holy body and blood, the prayers that lift one’s soul before the Holy alter and
to be content (at peace) in any and all conditions of life.

Today, I share this story not to boast of myself but to show that
one has free will to ask, seek and knock with an open mind, a sincere heart,
surely the truth of Christ Jesus will set you free. I am no one special, yet through
the grace of God He sent His apostolic priest to teach me the truth and reveal
to me my weakness yet hope, my sin yet forgiveness, my need for correction and
direction by example of humble and God fearing Orthodox Christians, to whom I
thank God for.

Finally in the words of St Paul the Apostle “O wretched man that I
am!” - Lord have mercy.

Deacon Athanasius+

For those interested in Arch Priest Fr James teachings (one of the
world’s foremost scholars on the Holy Fathers, Saints and church history) go
to: www.frjamesscully.com

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Today I have the pleasure to share with you my interview with Mormon-to-Orthodox convert, Jaccy. Hers is a story that I believe will resonate with many who have made the transition from Mormon to Orthodox Christian.

MtO: There seem to be two main categories that those with an LDS background fall into. First, there are individuals who are or were faithful, active participants, fulfilling their callings and other LDS-specific duties (i.e. temple service, mission service); then there are those who have an LDS background, but have never been particularly active, or have been semi-active at best. Tell us about your LDS background and whether or not you see yourself as falling into one of these two categories. Where did you grow up? Were you and your family active in the LDS faith? How many generations of your family have been LDS? Did you serve a mission? Did you marry in an LDS temple?Jaccy: I didn't grow up in a very strict Mormon family. We missed Sunday services at times for family trips, fishing, and sporting events. I remember being embarrassed that I didn't know many of the Sunday School songs or scripture stories when I did attend. That being said, my identity was Mormon and I was proud of my heritage. When I was about ten I really started to read heavier books and became very interested in my faith. I read the entire volume set of Doctrines of Salvation. Despite our sporadic attendance, I completed seminary, never broke the word of wisdom, kept the law of chastity, and saw myself an ambassador of the Mormon faith. I attended BYU and got married in the temple at 19 to a returned missionary from my home ward. I became much more serious about my faith and did all that I could to attend services, study, pray, and fulfill callings.
Tell us about how you transitioned from faithful member of the LDS Church to an Orthodox Christian.

We had been raising our children in Utah, when my husband joined the military. I loved Utah and leaving was difficult. I decided to take the opportunity to be a better member missionary. We moved to the Bible belt and I was exposed to many different types of Christians. I had discovered that many of them had a much closer relationship to God than I, were semi familiar with Mormonism, and had no intention of ever joining. This was difficult for me to accept. As someone who strove to live their covenants and hoping to obtain exaltation, how could I enter the celestial kingdom and not them? I just wanted to give up the spot I was hoping to achieve. I decided the problem was with my missionary efforts. I decided to double down on prayer, handing out the Book of Mormon, inviting missionaries over, fulfilling callings, inviting friends to LDS Church functions, and really studying LDS Church history.

My husband and I did this for about two years. We were happy being LDS. Everything was going smoothly, except that my studies (all from faithful LDS sources) on early Mormon history had brought more questions and I felt that my personal beliefs were becoming more and more incompatible with Mormonism. Despite those feelings, I continued on, bearing my testimony every fast and testimony meeting and fulfilling my calling in the Primary Presidency.

At this time I decided to read about Orthodox Christianity. This was not an odd thing for me to do. I often studied other faiths out of curiosity and to help my missionary efforts. I bought the book Introducing the Orthodox Church: It's Faith and Life by Anthony Coniaris. I remember reading each page thinking, "yes, yes, this is what I have always believed in my heart." It was the combination of feeling unsatisfied spiritually and that there was an intriguing new door that was open to me that allowed me to ask myself, "What if Mormonism is not true?" When I allowed myself to truly consider that question it was as if a huge weight had been lifted. I stop believing in Mormonism right in that moment.

I did not get to see my first Orthodox Church until months later. My husband was still committed to the LDS faith, dealing with his unbelieving wife. We had a very short staffed ward and I did not want to abandon my calling and everyone who had been relying on me. I simply taught about Christ during my lessons and sacrament talks. I kept my unbelief a secret. I wanted to take time to study, fast, and pray, in order to be sure of such a life changing decision that not only affected me but everyone around me, especially those I love.

This was an emotional time. Even though I had been introduced to Orthodoxy, I was unprepared for what it would be like to suddenly discard my most fundamental beliefs that largely contributed to my very identity. I felt like I was just left with a mess of puzzle pieces that didn't fit together. The frustration and exhaustion led me to profess atheism for a short time. Rebuilding my beliefs was overwhelming, especially with my new found skepticism. I needed a clean slate to build up my beliefs from the ground up. Starting from the perspective of a materialist atheist seemed to be the easiest course.
Christ had always been the most important part of my faith as a Mormon. Every spiritual experience I ever had was centered around Him. Letting go of my Mormon beliefs was relatively easy compared to what it was like for me to mentally let go of Christ. I felt like I needed to see and experience Christ with new eyes. But I really wasn’t sure who Christ was. I decided to learn about Christianity from its roots so I began studying the early Church Fathers, pre-Nicene Creed. This ended up confirming my need to go and experience Orthodoxy. When LDS Church callings in my ward were being switched around, I took the opportunity to request that my bishop not call me to anything else. That was the last day I attended an LDS Church service.

I attended my first Greek Orthodox service alone. My husband, no longer a believing Mormon but not ready to explore new beliefs, was supportive. I attended for a month, met with the priest, and asked to be baptized. He kind of laughed and told me that I needed time to learn the faith. I didn't know it at the time, but I had become a catechumen. Seven months later my children and I were baptized followed by my husband six months later.
I am sure that the difficulties you experienced during this transition period resonate with many of us who have converted from the LDS faith to Orthodoxy. That said, each of us are drawn to the faith for unique reasons. What are the main factors that drew you to Orthodox Christianity?

The draw to Orthodoxy was that I believed and still believe it is Christ's Church. Reading the early Church Fathers, brought me to belief in the Trinity and that the Eucharist is the literal body and blood of Christ. I wanted to be where I could touch God. I also admired the bold truth claims of Orthodoxy that were also bereft of judging the salvation of those outside the faith. Entering an Orthodox service, kneeling and praying Orthodox prayers, and living the faith brings my soul to a place of peace.
Did you ever consider any of the other so-called apostolic faiths (Roman/ Eastern Catholicism, Oriental Orthodoxy)? If so, why did you ultimately choose Eastern Orthodox Christianity?

I had always considered Roman Catholicism. I had a pleasant experience in a Catholic parish as a child. One of my neighbors when we moved from Utah was Catholic. I felt God in her home and working through her person. My daughters were in American Heritage Scouts that worked out of a Catholic charter. I probably would have been open to becoming Catholic but I found my home in Orthodoxy. While an Orthodox catechumen I studied some of the history and divisive issues between Orthodoxy and Roman Catholicism and I usually favored Orthodox practice and teachings.
What are the main differences or changes you have seen in your life since becoming an Orthodox Christian?

Since becoming Orthodox, I have become more aware of my own failings and less judgmental of others, God help me. I look forward to attending services and am disappointed when I cannot attend. It is not a feeling of guilt but more out of loss of a missed opportunity. Praying is easier for me. In Mormonism I felt tremendous performance pressure during prayers. I love Orthodox prayers and am able to focus more on my heart. I have developed a great love for Mary. I have become more focused on the transformation of my character and less on my outward appearance of righteousness.
Do you have a favorite saint? If so, why is she/ he your favorite?

I don’t have a favorite Saint. One of the wonderful things about being Orthodox is there are so many different Saints with different life stories that can appeal to our own lives at different times. My Saint name is Sophia. My three daughters also took the names of her daughters Faith, Hope, and Love. The Saint I have been thinking about the most recently is St. Monica. I will probably never be a monastic. I may never be asked to give my life as a martyr. But I am a mother like St. Monica. She became a Saint due to her love and diligent prayer for her family. When there is nothing I can do, I can always pray. Many times I forget to pray and St. Monica reminds me.

What is one thing about the Orthodox Christian faith, or your own personal conversion to Orthodoxy, that you would like LDS people to know?

I would like LDS people to know that I still love them. I loved being Mormon and will always appreciate my upbringing. I tried to live the Mormon spiritual life as much as could but there was a disconnect for me. I hit a wall spiritually. Orthodoxy is where my soul found peace and I found growth in my relationship with God.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jaccy.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

This week I have the pleasure of sharing with you Josh's answers to my interview questions. Josh's conversion story is a very interesting one that took him through various faith traditions. I hope you enjoy what he has to share.

MtO: Where did you grow up? Were you and your family active in the LDS faith? How many generations of your family have been LDS?

Josh: Brigham City, Utah... My family has been active LDS since it's inception. My fathers family were with the Smiths and Company back in upstate New York, they were frustrated with the denominationals, being in the epicenter of "the burnt over" region of New York... My mothers side joined with the LDS troop in Navoo... I am directly related to Lorenzo Snow (and just about everyone in northern Utah with the last name of -son... Neilson, Anderson, Larson, Christiansen... Our family was one of the 7 families sent by Brigham Young to norther Utah to settle what is now Brigham City.

Did you serve a mission?I did not serve a mission, but all of my friends and neighbors did. We moved from "behind the Zion Curtain" when I was still in High School, and we relocated to the Oregon Coast where LDS' are a minority.We moved to 4 Square/Lutheran/Baptist country.

Did you marry in an LDS temple?No, but my parents, grand parents, greats and all the like married/sealed in the temple. I did A LOT of baptisms for the dead in SLC as a teenager, collected the tithe (house to house, with a bell) fast'n'testimony, home teaching, and seminary classes while a freshman, but that is my extant of my LDS service.

Did you leave the LDS faith before or after learning about Orthodox Christianity? If before, have you been an adherent of any other faith traditions along the way? Did you ever consider any of the other so-called apostolic faiths (Roman/ Eastern Catholicism, Oriental Orthodoxy)? If so, why did you ultimately choose Eastern Orthodox Christianity?I left LDS and went directly into the Occult/New Age. From there I went, seriously, into Rastafarianism. This is where I picked up my Bible for the first time and studied, albeit through the lens of natty dred, I turned vegetarian, made my own clothes, and lived in the woods in an old Hippie Commune. The hippies led me to Zen and then to Penchant Lama Buddhism. From the baobab tree I turned to charismatic holy rollin' snake handlin' Christianity. I mellowed out from that madness when I couldn't lie to myself any longer. Then I was a great proponent of the gospel according to my own liking and bent the scriptures to suit my needs... from there I, and to my shame, went to "2 seed line Christian Identity" and thought I finally found a home. Christian Identity was just sooo subversive I had to be right. Then when I saw that compassion was overlooked because of race, I became disillusioned for good, or so I thought. I met some "liturgical" Christias and started going to an Anglican Church. At the same time I was meeting and talking to 2 Muslim brothers who wooed me strongly in the Zim Zam spring. Islam made a lot of damn sense. The world had it wrong and Muhammad came to set the record straight. But history was my ally and I couldn't stomach the Kabba for long. I started going to an Anglican Seminary and felt a little tug into the clergy, but alas I think I liked the Idea of it more than the reality. I moved and as there was no Anglican church to attend I went to Rome. I went to mass as often as I could (high Latin mass) but ALWAYS felt empty afterwards. Like, what the hell? I had travelled the worlds religions... where are you?

How did you find out about Orthodox Christianity?I learned about Orthodoxy in seminary, and at first was atracted to the Maronites and Copts.

What are the main factors that drew you to Orthodox Christianity?What drew me to Orthodoxy first and foremost was the community. When I saw for the first time families sitting on the floor during the Gospel Homily, and wives resting their heads on their husbands chest, children cuddling up on the rugs under the candle light, I thought that THIS... THIS is what it's all about, community. Damn the rules and theologies. Finally, Jesus in community, with us. I had come home.

What are the main differences or changes you have seen in your life since becoming an Orthodox Christian?

The main change? I have learned to freaking relax and not worry so much. I have found rest. The liturgy is a deep cleansing breath. I don't have to fret about getting it right all the time.

What is one thing about the Orthodox Christian faith, or your own personal conversion to Orthodoxy, that you would like LDS people to know?

What I would tell my LDS family, frends, and neighbors is never stop wondering. Keep seeking the heart of all things. Truth will find you.

Do you have a favorite saint? If so, why is she/ he your favorite?

I favor John the Forerunner. As an Anglican and RC we shared the same birthday/feast day and as a whole we have been simpatico. I have, and probably will again, say something that will get my head cut off. In Islam John the Baptist is revered, in Christian Identity he is a hallmark of the out cast. I see my Icon of John and it comforts me; it is a deep emotional connection, a yearning almost.

Friday, March 13, 2015

This week I am excited to present my interview with fellow Mormon-to-Orthodox convert, Symeon. Symeon was the first LDS person I met who shared my interest in Eastern Orthodox Christianity, and has been a great conversation partner along the way. I hope you enjoy what he had to say.

MtO: There seem to be two main categories that those with an LDS background fall into. First, there are individuals who are or were faithful, active participants, fulfilling their callings and other LDS-specific duties (i.e. temple service, mission service); then there are those who have an LDS background, but have never been particularly active, or have been semi-active at best. Tell us about your LDS background and whether or not you see yourself as falling into one of these two categories.

How many generations of your family have been LDS?

Symeon: Multi-generational active Mormon. Lived the complete, full Mormon experience: born under the covenant, primary, priesthood, served a mission, married in the temple. Taught early morning seminary and Institute for a period of time, as well as adult Gospel Doctrine and Gospel Principles. My father's family were the first to join and stay in the state of Kentucky (around 1900 CE) and pretty much every ward and branch in Kentucky has at least one cousin of mine in it. My mother's family are direct descendants of Ezra T. Benson, apostle to Brigham Young. They crossed the plains and had multiple wives. Ezra Taft Benson, the president of the LDS church in the 1980s, was my grandmother's cousin.

Where did you grow up? Were you and your family active in the LDS faith?

I grew up in rural Kentucky. This means that my branch was very small, and my father was the branch president. We were very active. I rarely missed a week of church, and missing two weeks in a row was unheard of. Never smoked a cigarette, never let alcohol touch my lips. We had Family Home Evening pretty regularly and lots of scripture and gospel discussions.

Did you serve a mission?

I served in the Texas Lubbock Mission from 2004-2006. It was by and large a pleasant experience where I learned a lot.

Did you marry in an LDS temple?

Yes, I married in the Louisville, Kentucky temple, which my grandfather helped to build. He was also a sealer and performed our sealing ceremony.

Did you leave the LDS faith before or after learning about Orthodox Christianity? If before, have you been an adherent of any other faith traditions along the way?

Long after. I've known about Orthodoxy since I was a teenager, though it never seemed like a church I could actually join until a couple years ago.

How did you find out about Orthodox Christianity?

This is an interesting story (to me anyway). When I was a young deacon in the LDS church (around 12 years old or so) I filled out a card I found in a magazine to join the "History Book Club," which meant that I got to choose 5 free history books to be delivered straight to my door. Unfortunately, it also obligated my parents to buy more books, but I wasn't really thinking about that when I filled out the card. I had read a little bit about the Byzantine Empire in my world history textbook and I was intrigued and wanted to know more, so one of the books I chose to get was called A Short History of Byzantium by a man named John Julius Norwich.

The book was a quite unflattering treatment of basically the most sordid details of Byzantine history. When the Church was mentioned it was typically in a cynical and light-hearted way. I came away from the book with a burning wonder in my heart. On the surface I thought, "those poor apostate Christians, if only they hadn't rejected the true church they wouldn't have suffered so much." I truly bought the whole Mormon Great Apostasy narrative and the awful details of Byzantine history confirmed to me that the light of the Church had left the Earth by that time.

But deep down it still impressed itself deeply upon me. It was a strange mixture of feelings. I wondered what the Byzantine church was like, why it seemed to generate so much controversy and conflict, what the Byzantines were seeing in church that I wasn't seeing. Why these Christians would willingly go to their deaths to defend what I saw as an apostate form of Christianity. It planted a seed within me that didn't sprout for some time.

Along the way I picked up little bits of interesting facts about Orthodoxy: their view of the priesthood, early narratives about the Apostles and early Christianity that seemed to run counter to the Great Apostasy narrative, and especially views about Theosis. I still found many foundational doctrines to be ridiculous (like the Trinity) but I couldn't shake this idea that Orthodoxy had kept true doctrines in a special way through history.

On my mission I considered myself an "expert" in early Christian history based on my knowledge gained from my history books as well as The Great Apostasy by James E. Talmage. I studied that book front-to-back and believed every word of it. One day, while knocking doors in West Texas, I knocked into the house of an Orthodox deacon. I believe he was a deacon - I have searched through my journals and can't find a precise retelling of the event. In any case, when I started to talk with him about all the errors that I saw in early Christian history, he quickly put me in my place. He repeatedly stated that he didn't want to argue with me, but I kept badgering him and finally he threw down a bunch of facts and saints from the first few centuries of Christianity that really shut me up. I realized that I had swallowed the Mormon narrative of early Christianity but that this narrative may have very little to do with what actually happened. I was pretty humbled. But again, this nurtured the seed that had begun to grow within me.

After my mission, I decided to begin to learn about Christian doctrine, not from the point of view of Mormon apologetics, but from the point of view of faithful Christians. It's the same courtesy I wanted others to take from Mormons.

At this same time my faith in Mormonism began to waver. Deep down, Mormonism had never really answered the deepest existential questions I had about reality. Why is reality the way it is and not another way? Where did God come from? Is God the member of a heavenly family? What grounds goodness and morality? Even as a young teenager these questions bothered me (in a very rudimentary and undisciplined way, before I really studied philosophy and theology). I had this unmistakable feeling that Mormonism didn't have any rational grounding - that at its core, it really couldn't answer questions like, "Why are we here?"

This, combined with 1) an increasing awareness and engagement with the biggest problems of Mormon history, and 2) a complete and utter void in my Mormon spiritual life (I found Mormonism to be largely a superficial "feel good" religion that focused so much on "testimony preservation" but no tools for deep spiritual growth as I wanted it) resulted in a blossoming in my heart of the Holy Spirit. I'd always thought I had felt the Holy Spirit in Mormonism, but when it finally hit me (the actual Holy Spirit) everything changed.

So it was the combination of losing faith in Mormonism and really looking into traditional Christianity that my faith in Orthodoxy blossomed. It never would have happened if I'd closed my heart to it.

What are the main factors that drew you to Orthodox Christianity?

At first, it was the superficial resemblance of Orthodox theology to many Mormon doctrines. So when I really examined my beliefs in Mormonism, I realized that what I actually believed was far closer to Orthodoxy than it was to Mormonism.

I'll give one example to keep things short: theosis. I always found the idea that God was one member of an infinite family tree of Gods to be difficult to believe. I just couldn't accept it fully, even though I argued for its truthfulness. Eventually, I gave up trying to defend it and just thought to myself: "I can't accept that there is an infinite or very large number of Gods. The only way that I can really nuance Joseph Smith's teachings in a way that makes sense is by believing that there is One God that exists from eternity, and that we are his spiritual children. And we can progress to be like God and eventually join with Him in his divinity. But we don't take His place or become essentially like Him - instead, we just participate with His divinity, becoming 'gods' in a sense but not becoming God."

But eventually I realized that that's just the Orthodox view of theosis (essentially). That information didn't need to be "restored" by a guy in New England in the 1840s - it has existed on the Earth for 2000 years.

I came to this realization with many doctrines - I rejected Penal Substitutionary Atonement, I realized that the Orthodox temple represents a seamless theological transition from the Old Testament temple (while the Mormon "temple," at best, represents a superficial borrowing of some elements of the temple as understood by the KJV translation of the Old Testament, combined with Freemasonry), I eventually determined that the Mormon concept of "sealings" was completely redundant if you properly understand what our relationship with God is, etc. I even came to accept that the creedal doctrine of the Trinity was far from being the incoherent mess that I believed it was - it was actually a gorgeous, powerful doctrine. And above all, I believe it is True.

So that was the sort of rational conversion to Orthodoxy, but then there was the spiritual conversion. I have experienced the most incredible spiritual depth of my life within an Orthodox context. When I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time it completely blew any conceptions I had of a "burning in the bosom" away. It involved every part of my being. Following a prayer rule (though I struggle with this) has resulted in the strangest but most wonderful spiritual revelations.

Most of all, conceiving of God as truly a Ground of All Being that is present everywhere I go, who sustains my body and soul in existence, who loves me from the inside out, has completely enlarged my soul in ways I never thought possible. As a Mormon, I truly conceived of God as a kind of physical space-man who lived millions of light-years away on another planet, who didn't ultimately create the world (he just shaped or formed it) and did not bring my "intelligence" into existence. I just had to have faith that somehow this being could hear my thoughts, prayers, and could love me. The idea that I could go back and find any help or meaning in that conception of God, at this point, is just laughable. I respect my faithful Mormon family and those really smart Mormon thinkers and philosophers like Blake Ostler and Falcouner, Terryl Givens, Bushman, and the like. But I just don't see any coherence in any Mormon conception of God, except those that more closely resemble the Classical Theist conception.

Did you ever consider any of the other so-called apostolic faiths (Roman/ Eastern Catholicism, Oriental Orthodoxy)? If so, why did you ultimately choose Eastern Orthodox Christianity?

It would be strange of me not to at least consider the Roman Catholic Church, given that being Catholic would be far easier on me and my family than driving an hour each week to a tiny Orthodox parish. Unfortunately, there were just a number of theological issues within Catholicism that I couldn't accept. When I visit Catholic parishes I feel like something has been watered down or lost, especially in the liturgy. There's too much effort to be hip and fun. But that's just my conception. Though to be fair, Aquinas (and really, Edward Feser) was a HUGE influence on my realization that the Mormon conception of God couldn't possibly be correct even in principle. Aquinas converted me to classical theism.

That having been said, I am not a hardcore "the Romans are heretics who need to repent and crawl to Constantinople on their hands and knees" Orthodox either. I see the two churches as a lot closer than probably most Orthodox, and I pray and long for unity. I really like Pope Francis.

What are the main differences or changes you have seen in your life since becoming an Orthodox Christian?

Incredible depth in prayer life. Total peace in a grounded ethical and cosmological worldview. A personal relationship with God in a way that I never thought possible. I wish I could tell myself at 15 that I could have more of a "personal" relationship with a God "without parts or passions" than a God who is literally a super-human person!

What is one thing about the Orthodox Christian faith, or your own personal conversion to Orthodoxy, that you would like LDS people to know?

When I was Mormon, I looked out at the world and viewed it as sinful and unholy. I looked at other Christians with pity that they didn't have the "fullness of the Gospel." I wondered how anyone could be happy knowing that they weren't "sealed to their families for eternity."

I remember being on a mission and riding in a car with a few other missionaries. It was Sunday, and we drove past a liquor store where there were a few people going in and out. I remember we all let out a condescending huff when we saw people buying liquor on Sunday. One of the other missionaries actually said, "I wish we had the authority to just... kill people."

Yep, not only were we all disgusted by these poor souls at the liquor store, but this missionary actually thought that it would be best and most merciful if we were given the authority as missionaries to go and kill them. Like, murder them. I want to think that his statement was in jest, but nobody laughed. I perceived that it came from a weird authentic place.

When I became Orthodox, all those arrows of judgment and pride were turned inward. Suddenly I realized that *I* am the problem. My struggle shouldn't be with other people. My judgment shouldn't point out at others. It should point at myself. I am a violent person. I'm a prideful person. I'm an arrogant person. I'm a sinner. If I really want to make the world a better place, my struggle should be with myself. It's a much harder battle, but way more rewarding and rich. Every time I get tempted to look down in judgment on another person, I look inside myself and ask, "Do I have some of the same qualities I look down on another person for having? How can I fix those things?" Rather than try to fix other people.

Do you have a favorite saint? If so, why is she/ he your favorite?

St. Symeon the Stylite. I read about him when I was an early morning seminary teacher and he just spoke to me. I was floored by the whole story. I just thought, "What could possibly inspire a guy to do something like that?" I was so amazed that I spoke about him in my next sacrament meeting talk! A number of ward members came up to me afterwards and were also amazed by the story. When I became a catechumen I took the name Symeon in his honor. I also like St. Thomas the Apostle, and I've always been drawn to the Archangel Gabriel.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

Thanks for the opportunity to get some of these thoughts down.

My pleasure! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, Symeon.