37 thoughts on “My Eyeglasses”

What would you do without her to help find your specks. I too carry an assortment with me wherever I roam. Bifocals for daily wear and TV. Computer distance glasses for book stores, grocery shopping and aha, the computer. Reading glasses for reading. Who’d a thunk it.

I keep a spare pair of glasses in my car. I call them my just-in-case glasses. They’re there just in case I can’t find my regular pair. Usually the reason I can’t find my regular pair is that they are on my face.

You manage to describe the delicate negotiations and political manipulations that exist in a marriage better than anyone I know! And in a very funny way. As for keeping track of your glasses, I can relate. I think that one day, I will actually throw in the towel and just start wearing the darn things on a silver chain around my neck, just like my Aunt Mickey used to do in her old age. (And as long as I’m copying her look, maybe I’ll also start wearing a polyester house-dress with a wad of Kleenex sticking out of the pocket.)

hehehe I had to share this post with my wife. Before we go out, part of our pre-departure routine is me asking “Do I need to bring my Kindle?” She says “Nope. We’re just going to run a few errands.” It’s taken me a few years, but now I know this is code for spending “quality time” while window shopping.

Being an old guy, I can get away with things. I can wear clothes that a younger man would not be caught dead in. I speak specifically of cargo pants with big pockets, pockets large enough to hold hard-cover novels and all the glasses that one desires to carry. It is the only gift that age has given me.

I wish that would work. Unfortunately, my prescription is so complicated that no two pair come out the same and switching from regulars to regulars, readers to readers is like a trip out of the closing scene of 2001, a Space Odyssey. 🙂

That used to be my life. Then came cataract surgery, and nice, new replacement lenses that stay in my eyes. Period, forever. All I need now is a couple of pairs of cheapo sunglasses from Walgreens. I use the plural, of course, because I never can find my sunglasses.

There is a rarely studied field called the Physics of Everyday Things. It is what I explore in My Stuff essays. There are several rules which govern this field and one of the more interesting ones is the Rule of Transitory Importance.

This rule states that the most vital things in our life such as glasses, tools, car keys and the TV remote, only enjoy fleeting moments of need and attention – that is how they get lost. Some objects are worse then others. When taking a door off its hinges, I lost my screw driver between the top and the middle hinge. I am not sure what drew my attention away from it, perhaps a squirrel but that is all it took.

My husband’s solution is to have fifty pairs, each with a right place carefully computed. He takes them off and asks me, “Which pair is this? Where does it go?” Then we check each hiding place until we find one that’s empty. Frequently he then responds with, “But that pair has thinner/grayer/lighter… rims. I wonder where I put them.” And we wander some more.
Me? I have three pairs.

My prescription is so radical that you have to have a prescription to use it. Back in the hippie days, my glasses were very popular at late night parties. There is no real progress between regular, computer and reader glasses, it is more like chaos.