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Ex-Blur bassist Alex James to sort out Libya

Alex James, cheesemaker, classical musician, newspaper columnist, panel show host and fete-opening radio-presenting former bassist with Blur, has confirmed that the UN has asked him to take a lead role in searching for a ‘just, peaceful and ultimately cool’ solution to the crisis engulfing Libya.

James, who reportedly did a GCSE history project on Rommel’s North Africa Korps, caught the eye of Ban Ki Moon when he came second to David Platt from Coronation Street on the BBC reality show ‘Diplomat’ last year in the challenge to reunite Korea.

‘His agent gave us a good deal,’ said Moon. ‘All he needs to do is keep talking to Gaddafi until he capitulates. And he’s free to write about it in the Telegraph, publish a book, write a song – whatever. After all, as he told me, Jesus himself said ‘Blessed are the cheesemakers’.’