In what he himself described as a dynamic and forthright speech today winning praise from all who hadn’t turned it off through sheer boredom by the end and weren’t bound by journalistic work commitments to watch it Ed “Mister Ed” Miliband today announced that henceforth he was to be known as “Ed “Captain Ed” Miliband – to “emphasise [his] excellent leadership skills”. To that end he has asked for this tune to be played whenever he appears with the word “Zep” replaced with the word “Ed”.

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