'The Day I Escaped A Polygamous Cult'

Shestill remembers running. Running for her life, running for her freedom, running for her siblings’ safety. Escaping life in a cult. A life where she was sexually assaulted, abused and victimised.

And as Ruth Wariner tells whimn – a life she will never forget.

“My siblings and step-silblings and I ran away in the middle of the night and crossed the border into the US at sunrise,” she says from her Oregon home.

“I was terrified that my stepfather would catch [me] taking his kids to the States.

“It was one of the most frightening parts of my childhood.

Born into a polygamist cult

Now a happily married 45-year-old Portland woman, life was a hard road for a young Ruthie Wariner, who was born into a Mexican-based cult in the Mormon town of Colonia Le Baron in 1972. She was her mother’s fourth child – and her father’s 39th.

Her father, Joel Franklin Le Baron, was the prophet and founder of the Church of the Firstborn of the Fullness of Times. Her mother, Kathy, an American woman from California, became Joel’s fifth wife. Kathy was 17 - Joel was 42.

When Ruth was three months old, her father was assassinated in a plot planned by his younger brother, Ervil Le Baron, over disagreements about the direction of the church. Fearing for herself and her children, Kathy briefly returned to her family in the States to mourn the loss of her husband, but motivated by her religious beliefs, later moved back to Le Baron and became the second wife to another polygamist man, with whom she had another six children. This man also began sexually abusing Ruth - and many of her siblings - from a young age.

“I had a lot of freedom as a child growing up in the Mexican desert because my siblings and I weren’t very closely watched,” she said.

Ruthie and brother Aaron. Photo: Supplied

“I loved having lots of friends, and I miss that part of my life there.

“Otherwise, my memories of the times my stepfather was around, I was always frightened.

“He brought with him a severe and heavy energy that I never was able to relate to.

“He had four wives, and I was glad he didn’t come home very often.”

Longing for normality

Over the years, Kathy moved her family back and forth between the compound in Mexico and her parents’ home in California. Ruth and her siblings savoured their time with their grandparents, far away from the unsafe conditions on the Mexican ranch, where Ruth spent most of her time helping raise her siblings amid extreme poverty. She was eight when her oldest sister, Audrey, was hospitalised due to severe autism and schizophrenia, and 10 when her younger sister Meredith died from a birth defect in her brain.

“My Mum’s family lived in the United States - we visited with them regularly for the holidays, and each time we did, I knew my childhood in LeBaron was unique,” she said.

“Being exposed to the outside world helped me understand that I wanted a better life for myself and is big reason why I escaped LeBaron with my brothers and sisters.”

Kathy took Ruth out of school permanently at the age of 14 so that she could help full-time with the family, believing that Ruth’s life should follow the path of her own - an obedient wife and mother in the church.

A heart, broken.

Not long afterwards, a tragic electrocution accident on the compound killed two of her young brothers and her beloved mother. Without her Mum, Ruth realised she could no longer remain at the ranch, and when her handicapped brother confessed that their stepfather has been abusing him as well, she planned an escape.

“I was 15 when my mother and younger brother died in a freak accident - it was in the summer of 1987, and in the first few months after their passing, my stepfather, another polygamist with over 25 of his own children, kept trying to take my four-year-old sister on trips with him and always wanted to be along with her,” Ms Wariner said.

“I wouldn’t let him.

“He had sexually abused me for several years in my early childhood and had admitted to molesting other children as well but had apologised.

“Our community believed him, but I knew better.

“When my Mum died, I had a strong mother-bear instinct that exploded inside me, and there was no way I would let him be alone with my sisters.

“My gut knew he hadn’t changed.

Ruthie and her sisters on her 40th birthday. Photo: Supplied

“And then one afternoon, my special needs brother returned home from a work trip with my stepfather and awkwardly told me that he had been sexually assaulted by our step dad.

“There was no way we were going to stay after that.

“I knew I had to do everything I could to protect my siblings – and there was no way I would have left them behind.”

Running for her life

So she left. She fled to California to raise her three sisters, aged five months, two, and four. After parenting alone for a few years and making very little money, she put herself through college, eventually going to Southern Oregon University and becoming a high school Spanish teacher.

“We ran to my grandmother’s house in California, and when my stepdad came looking for us, I was on the run with my youngest sisters in the US for several weeks,” she said.

“My grandmother filed for legal custody of us, and when the judge gave out custody rights, my stepfather didn’t show up to court.

“My grandmother was given custody by default, and we were all ecstatic!

“But when my Mum died it was devastating, and I’ve had a broken heart ever since.

“I raised my youngest sisters - my grandmother wasn’t healthy enough to take care of us, and after four years, I moved out on my own with them.

“It was so hard to watch my sisters grow up without our Mum.

Ruthie on her wedding day. Photo: Supplied

“My little sisters considered me their mother figure when they were children. “They were five months, two and four years old when we escaped Colonia LeBaron, and they don’t remember our biological mother.

“We are close now that they are all grown women, and now we are more like great friends and always have a lot of fun together.

“When I decided to take them from their abusive father, it was definitely to make sure they weren’t going to be abused, to make sure they were safe.

“I wanted to help them and protect them in a way I was unable to do for myself.”

The Sound of Gravel

Last year Ms Wariner released her first book, The Sound of Gravel, about her traumatic childhood - a ‘we-moir’, as she puts it.

“My life would be totally different had we stayed,” Wariner says.

“My Mum’s death was like a sharp knife that cut my life into two pieces and I definitely feel like I’ve lived two lives.

“It took a tremendous amount of work for several years to finish my education while raising my sisters, but I’m incredibly grateful I made the positive choices I did that helped pull me out of poverty.

“It wasn’t easy, but I’m thankful I was able to earn an education and keep my family together.

“We are incredibly close, and our relationships have been a powerful healing tool for my life.”

She said when she finished writing The Sound of Gravel, she made sure all of her siblings read the manuscript before taking it to her publisher.

“It’s a family story, more of a “we-moir” than a memoir,” she said.

“They loved the book and felt it was incredibly healing for all of us.

“I felt like I left a lot of my past on the pages.

“My story doesn’t feel as heavy inside me anymore.”

Looking to the future

“All of my experiences helped shape who I am.

“I used to wish for a ‘normal’ childhood, but now I realise that it gave me a unique perspective on life and helped make me a stronger person.

“I only wish my Mum and brother had survived with the rest of us - that’s the only thing about my childhood I would change.

“Not having a Mum is forever heartbreaking.

“Our toughest times can be the powerful teaching tools - there has been so much good, so much strength and so many lessons learned from a tragic and heartbreaking situation.

“I believe we all have it within ourselves to rise above our circumstances, to recognise that who we are within is more stronger than our pasts or our hardships.

“To people who were in my position - find quiet time to yourself and know what’s going on inside of you.

“Trust your intuition and have a vision for what you really want in life.