Wednesday, November 24, 2004

The Ladies Man?

So we had a guy in the office the other day bragging about the girls he used to pick up, and does pick up, and how he's so smooth about it. I listened for a minute and realized - I don't have any of these stories. I had to think he was making them up because the only night club I ever went to where there were any girls that might consider hitting on me - they all thought I was a cop. Maybe I have somewhat of a Narc look about me, I don't know. My friends all thought it was hilarious because these really hot girls would look at me, walk over like they were curious and say something to the effect of "You're a cop aren't you?" Sadly, I was 19 at the time so I have no idea how that worked. Maybe I just look like a narc. I was always the designated driver, so it never mattered to me. Anyway, it was funny to think about while we had a guy bragging on himself the other day. Do I seem like an authority figure or a narc to anyone else? Just curious.

I do remember one story that I've always found really funny. I was visiting a former friend down in Macon and his fraternity brothers decided to take me out for a night on exciting Macon. If anyone ever tells you that Macon, Georga is the fun capital of the world, they're lying. So we're at a bar and one of his friends said "Dude, how come you didn't bring your girlfriend down with you?" I didn't have one so it was obvious why I didn't. For the next 30 minutes I got a lecture on how to pick up women. The crap this guy came up with was hilarious. It was like a seminar on how to never ever get the girl. He even said he prints up fake business cards because "chics dig e-mail." This was funny. I assure you words cannot describe how bad it really was. Not five minutes later this girl walks by with a tray of shooters and says "Did you guys want a shot?" My response was "No, did you want some chips and salsa?" She said she couldn't eat at work, but what was funny was she said "Thank you, that's very nice. It's much better than the guy who gave me this fake business card at the bar a minute ago. Are you a cop?" Okay, so she didn't ask if I was a cop but she may as well have.

Seriously, I can't look that intimidating, or like I eat that many donuts. Though these days you might believe I own stock in Krispy Kreme.

5 Comments:

Hmm, and here I always thought of myself as clean cut. Some people say I look mean when I grow facial hair, but I just think I look stupid so I keep clean shaven most of the time. I guess it just shows that you're never perceived as you think you are.

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This blog is different. It is to be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the national character. A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country. But only for those with true grit. And we are choc full of that man!