jerkin your plirkin; all up in your flirkin; also nuirkin your glishirkin could be translated to "isolated self manipulation of ones genitals" founded in 1850 by world renowned explorer Sir Edward Lithius Longfellow Shmerkin; while stranded in isolation on an east african island he had to "shmerk his gerk" in order to pass the days.

Domo! are you shmerkin ur' gerkin? i asked as he sat all alone in the cold dark corner.