If you have a bunch of odds & ends and you get rid of all but one of them, what is left – an odd or an end

Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital

Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same but a wise man and a wise guy be opposites

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next

Why is it that stars are only visible when they are out but when lights are out they are invisible

My Granny had a keen sense of fun that helped me appreciate the lunacy of the English language. With a twinkle in her eye, she would ask: “Don’t you think it silly that:

your house can burn up as it burns down

you bake cookies but cook bacon

you fill in a form by filling it out

an alarm goes off by going on

you wind up a watch to start it, but you wind up an essay to end it?”

Perhaps the quality of education would improve is those old front porches came back into style.

Betty Freeman Haines, an author and award winning columnist, lives in Mesquite, NV. Her books/e-books, Reluctant Hero and Grieving Sucks or Does It, can be ordered from amazon.com. Share your thoughts and opinions with her at betvern@cascadeaccess.com