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Monday, December 22, 2008

The wind chill factor

Many of you may know my hatred and disdain for the "wind chill factor". First off, it just sounds gay. Secondly people that refer to it or talk about it sound gay, and stupid. I want to smack each and every one of you.

There's no such thing as "the wind chill factor". Only the "stupid asshole factor".

The wind chill is pointless, for these very reasons: A thermostat tells the scientific temperature. Thats how hot and/or cold it is outside. Yes, wind has a cooling effect, and if the wind pushes a cold front through, the temperature will drop, lowering the measurement on the thermostat. (This is the only time the wind chill actually occurs.) The other times wind chill actually occurs is when faggot news stations need excuses to get idiots all riled up about something that doesn't actually exist. If there is a 10 degree wind chill factor, why does water not freeze? Oh wait. Wind chill just tells you 'how cold it feels' outside. Well how the fuck do you know how I feel outside?

Today its actually 11 degrees outside. Last week it was in the 30s, but with a 11 degree wind chill. Today the sun is shining bright. How come there is never any mention of the warming effect the sun has on cold temperatures? It certainly feels warmer when I'm in the sunlight as opposed to in the shade or during a cloudy day. THE SUN HAS A WARMING EFFECT! DUH!! Yes, of course it does. And when the sun's warming effect is strong enough to raise the temperature, it indeed gets warmer!

And whats even more ridiculous is that there is a scientific formula to determine this 'apparent temperature'! Great, let's apply the standards and physics of science to the purely subjective thoughts and emotions of the complete imbeciles that walk this earth. This makes lots of sense. Well it makes perfect sense if you own a news/media outlet and you have nothing to talk about because nothing is going on, but your existence is dependent upon idiots believing every word you say and staying glued to your channel to boost ratings and ad revenue.

I'm sure some idiots will think otherwise, and come back to me w/ all the scientific data that supports and defends a wind chill factor, but the reality is that its a purely subjective 'measurement'. Temperature is a standard measure. If it says its 30 degrees outside, it feels like its 30 degrees. Because if it felt any colder, the thermostat would read a lower temperature. Got it? Good.

Back to the Stupid Asshole Factor. Simply take X number of assholes multiplied by Y number of news channels and newspapers that report on the wind chill = Stupid Asshole Factor.