I just love these names of fake perfumes; clockwise from the top: It’s not Armani.. It’s ARMY – I recognise this next one from the missus, and I’m sure it wasn’t called ‘story of a flower’ ?? – I just love this ‘Black Power perfume’ – then of course it’s not ‘Issey Miyake’, but ‘Eissey Myami’ – and what’s better than wearing ‘Barry’ hahaha – then we have a true star amongst the selection Not Burberry, but ‘Blueberry’ !!! they just dropped the J from J’adore (shameless !! haha) … and of course, every girl wants Bossi.. not Boss ;)

Along with some amazing developments, thanks to technology and primarily the internet, we have to suffer the suicide inducing ramblings of a select group of the community that feels you wish to hear their every meandering thought within a so called ‘blog’. It is their inherent belief that this sickness-inducing wisdom is something we wish to hear; this annoys me to no end… yet here I am sitting comfortably amongst the clucking techno publishers ready to bark my woofs of witty endeavours to my peers. But I’m about to make a change !! Instead of speaking kiss-ass tid-bits about those whom I’d readily stab in the back (like some blogs).. I’m going to unmask, going to speak the truth and, without a malicious bone in my body, give an honest social commentary… it may be about life, god forbid it may be about race and religion.. and it will most definitely be about taxi drivers… but above all it will hopefully be enjoyable.. so here it goes…

I am not stupid, I understand that to be socially accepted there are unfortunately some norms and ‘rules’ that one follows; but why ?? great people through time have always been loved or hated; it was honesty and vision that resulted in the death of Martin Luther King, his assassin knew the words he was spreading were the truth, but the truth is scary.. there is safety in numbers (but this is a far bigger topic than I). Therefore, I guess it would be considered in society wrong for me to comment on the vacuous, self-obsessed, arrogant guys who take up overpriced tables packed with bottles and equally stupid models at some of the supposedly elite clubs in the UAE.. no that would be wrong *shock horror*. Cause these are the beautiful people, I myself have curled up at many a table, enjoyed the free-flowing spirits; whilst holding down a bit of sick due to a vomit inducing conversation about money, cars and blah blah (sorry I switched off). In turn, It would also surely be wrong to suggest that with such access to these wealthy echelons of society, some clubs might find the time, amidst their money-making, to encourage some kind of charity work/event/donation ?? Since the world seems to be in such a global warming shitstorm right now many ‘drowning’ people could do with the help of the currently ignorant fools that reside in many of our venues.. taking our oxygen and such.

I don’t want to upset anyone… but if I do, then you’re probably the kind of fool I’m talking about… if only people would stop worrying so much about how they look, the perception of society, and the amount of money they can spend on showing off on a night out and actually put a very tiny, weeny, small amount of their evening budget into doing something positive for those less fortunate than them. These are people with less access to education so they can become more ‘wealthy’ in life (a different definition of wealth to others, I must point out), or even access to a family that drip feeds them cash… in doing this, maybe society might actually prove you wrong, and value this contribution far more than the loud brash drunken behavior without the consideration, that is currently your offer. We can overlook self-promotion when you’ve done something valuable to change someone’s life for the better.. but do I give a f**k about your new Sunseeker… I very much doubt it.

I want you to go clubbing, I want you to buy bottles, I want you to be surrounded by sexy golddiggers, I even know that I can’t change your attitude and arrogance.. it is part of you after all… but if you’ve read this far, it at least means you might care about my message ?? So, if your reading this and getting irritated, it means YOU are one of these people… so get irritated, complain, and prove me right that you are indeed foolish. However, if you’re nodding your head, agreeing with my words and picturing these people in your mind… it at least shows you are aware of the situation that I speak of… but I warn you, just because you don’t live as lavish as some, you live better than others.. so stop bitching and start giving….

So here it is, unlike recent blogs from the ‘City of Life’, i can’t say that this has been requested or even hinted at by many; for those that know me, I’m sure you feel it is yet another attempt at quenching my thirst for attention, and supressing any explosions of A.D.D that I may cause me to disturb my co-workers. This blog will not be diarized, predictable, and I very much doubt it will have any type of structure; but what I can guarantee are the inane ramblings of a ‘young’ man who is working his way through an eventful life, absorbing those around him and making his own judgements and perceptions about the state of the world we live in…

Speaking of which, for those that don’t know, this young man has chosen to see out his twenties in the sandy refinement of the middle east, the UAE to be exact. A cosmpolitan country packed full of life’s melting pot of people and culture. Many who live here may smirk at the mention of culture, some believe this country is a manufactured amalgamationof the natives holiday experiences… not I !! and I say this not to bow to my hosts, but as someone who has threwn themselves into all walks of UAE society like a child into a colourful ballpit. I have found myself eating a whole lamb with my hands in the desert with Dubai’s police echelons, sat on a superyacht with friends at the Grand Prix, and even scratching around for pennies as the myth of a tax free saving haven becomes a harsh realization of great expense.

This blog, i prefer you call it anything but this cause it sounds so damn arrogant, is perhaps written to myself; a way of recounting my many thoughts. This could lead to pulitzer prizes (I joke)… it could equally lead to some sort of mental rehabillitation (I no joke) what it will hopefully do is amuse, and I let you graze nonchelantly on the antipasti of my deepest questions, and the canapes of life experience that I may serve up over the coming days, weeks, years – feel free to turn over the channel wherever you wish – but let’s see what happens !!

And if, like a literary voyeur, you have something you wish me to discuss with myself, in this somewhat public arena.. feel free to suggest