Here’s How Those Darn Millennials Define Adulthood

Millennials are hurtling toward adulthood just as fast as the seasons of time can move them (the same rate at which all things are moved by time). But how will the world know when Earth’s resident youths have officially exited adolescence? Apparently — according to a new report — millennials will just let you know when they have achieved adulthood, because they have concocted their very own definition.

The 2014 Clark Established Adult Poll, conducted by Clark University, examined how definitions of adulthood have shifted, reports NPR’s Samantha Raphelson. At one point, people defined adulthood by permanently entangling one’s fate into someone else’s (getting married; having children). Now, the three most popular markers are individualistic metrics: taking responsibility for one’s self, achieving financial independence, and making independent decisions.

Millennials. They’re all like: independence this, my choices that, self-responsibility this. Off to an independent hell in an independent handbasket they all go, and they will go it when they please, and they will buy the basket themselves, and they will go to it alone.