Hell Nawl

Michael ArceneauxApril 20, 2009

I no longer have to prove my standom to you all. Ya’ll know how I roll. Though I may offer some constructive criticism every now and then (shut up in advance, you…yes I do) I’m a firm Bey-liever. I am still a realist, though.

In 2007 when Beyonce was charging a nice amount to see her break it, pop it, pop it, break it, I had to make a difficult decision: Be responsible or see the Queen. With me recently graduating from college and mulling the decision to LA or NY (which didn’t happen until this year, but whatever, things happen) I decided that it was best that I use my money for airfare and the job search.

To this day, I still think that was a stupid decision. Well, not really, but the DVD can only do so much, y’know? I thought I could go without because I had seen Beyonce perform several times in concert in only a few years so I was good.

I promised myself I would make up for it on the next tour. Now I’m not too sure. I mean, yes, I want to go, and likely will, but when am I going to meet the chick?

This is going on pitiful now. My brother has met her a couple of times because he went to middle school with little sister. I know several people that have met her through work. I have plenty of friends in Houston who met around the way or met her randomly. Take for example two friends I have who met her while vacationing in Vegas. Beyonce decided to roll up in the store they were shopping in and since she shut the place down they were locked in with her.

Then I get a call talking about how sweet she was, how pretty she is, and on and on. These were people who weren’t even on her like that. You know the way most people should be on her. No, they were people who weren’t even casual fans. I’m not jealous, I’m just saying. I’m happy for anyone who has come in contact with her greatness. It’s just unfortunate I can’t include myself in that group.

I’ve met just about every other member of Destiny’s Child, though. Met Kelly while leaving Pappadeaux’s. Met Michelle at my internship. She’s funny…and quite hungry (she kept talking about boudain). Been at the same event with LeToya last fall. Hmm, I haven’t met the other two, although that shouldn’t be counted against me. One you barely see and the other was only in the group for the same length as commercial break.

So, it would be really nice to meet her. I’ve actually met my favorite artist ever already…musically that is. Met Mary J. Blige years ago. Really nice. So nice in fact she made the effort to call me to respond to a letter I gave to her. I met her at the same internship I met Michelle. I was prepared for Mary. Couldn’t wait. She’s the best. You have no idea.

But I’ve met that Queen. Now it’s time for me to meet the other. :\

I was actually set to meet Beyonce at the same station I met Mary and Michelle, only the person who was supposed to call me the day she was in the studio didn’t.

Same thing happened at another gig. And one after that. There were times where I found out I had just left the mall she had stepped in. Or stepped into some event the second she bolted.

I think you get the point. So close to the beauty, the lacefront, yet so far away.

I’ve gotten desperate.

“I Am…Beyonce” – Meet & Greet Package $1,000

“I Am…Fierce” – On Stage Package $625

“I Am…Bold” – Hot Seat Package $525

Regular Tickets $20.75-150.75

But not that desperate.

Look, I’m not even going to pretend I have 1,000 to just throw at a pop star for a deal that only entails me getting to hug them (possibly) and getting an autograph, but even if I did have it like that (I will eventually, God willing…no worries), I don’t think I would do it.

I understand that yesterday was 4/20, but did her fan club staff light it up while coming up with these prices?

Do they realize it’s a recession? You know what? Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe this is geared toward the children of the Chinese millionaires who have left Shanghai for New York because they heard America is on the verge of turning into one big flea market.

Or possibly the rich Arabs who control the oil fields. I don’t know who exactly, but this can’t be directed at Americans.

Even rich people are doing it real cheap. This bears repeating: They have heard of this recession, right?

Having said that, if any of you want to pay for me, email me.

Hey, I said I wouldn’t pay for it even if I had it. I didn’t say anything about someone else covering the bill for me.