EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Is the new Chief Whip doomed?

It hardly bodes well for the Government’s beleaguered Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell when even his own MPs are having fun at his expense.

In the Commons yesterday, the Tories’ extravagantly-coiffed vice chairman Michael Fabricant asked Mitchell’s predecessor – now Transport Secretary – Patrick McLoughlin a question about the railway station in his Lichfield constituency, adding that McLoughlin was ‘sorely missed’ as Chief Whip.

Fabricant sat down to congratulatory slaps on the back from colleagues for his impertinence. Mitchell’s doomed, no?

Doomed: Andrew Mitchell was the subject of jokes in the commons yesterday

AMERICAN actress Catherine Bach, best remembered as curvaceous southern belle Daisy Duke in 1980s television show Dukes of Hazzard, was once up for a part as a Bond girl in the 1983 film Octopussy.

But she blew her chances after meeting the movie’s formidable assistant director Barbara Broccoli. Explains Bach, 58, ruefully: ‘She introduced herself and I didn’t believe her name. So I just replied, “Yeah, and I’m Cathy Carrot.” I think maybe I got off on the wrong foot.’

APROPOS of Mitchell, spare a thought for his namesake, veteran Labour politician Austin Mitchell, whose postbag was fuller than normal when he arrived back for duty in the House of Commons yesterday. Tweets the Great Grimsby MP: ‘First day back at the fun factory. New uniform, new smile but lots of abusive mail. Turns out it should have gone to another A. Mitchell.’

RADIO 4’s John Humphrys didn’t sound overly impressed yesterday by Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner’s record-breaking skydive, which involved leaping from a hot air balloon 24 miles above the Earth. Discussing the feat with a member of Baumgartner’s team, Luke Aikens, Humphrys said: ‘At the end of the day, all he did was jump off a platform – admittedly very high.’ Aikens: ‘I think there’s a little more to it than that.’ Perhaps the BBC should send Humphrys up next time. The sound of the great man re-entering the atmosphere at 800mph would be well worth tuning in for.

CHRIS Grayling was recently sworn in as Lord Chancellor in a ceremony at Westminster Abbey, having a replaced Kenneth Clarke after last month’s reshuffle. Thankfully, Grayling was able to reuse his predecessor’s golden robes for the occasion (cost: £18,365). But he was unable to make use of the rest of Ken’s stately garb, meaning the taxpayer had to fork out for new silk stockings and breeches. ‘They are quite a different stature,’ says an MoJ staffer diplomatically.

PRESENTER Clare Balding has been praised for her recent hosting of the Olympics, but she can’t keep the public happy all the time. At a literary lunch in Chipping Campden, she found her Radio 4 show Ramblings – in which she treks across the British countryside with guests – come in for forthright criticism. Says Clare, 41: ‘The woman sitting next to me said what she meant and meant what she said. “My dear,” she said, “I enjoy almost everything you do... except that walking programme. That gets rather dull I’m afraid.” I said: “Thank you.” I mean, what else could I do but laugh?’