Friendship Stress? Friendship Tools!

The middle school girl friendship world gets a bad rap. We hear about “drama,” mean girls, and exclusion. Social media adds to friendship stress. What’s a girl to do? What’s a parent to do? We all want girls to enjoy positive friendships. In fact, research shows that girls grow through connection. Relationships with peers and mentors fortify girls! Middle school is a perfect time to help girls build relational skills that will serve them for a lifetime. It’s also a great time to help them connect with mentors and other adults who can inspire, encourage, and listen with heart and mind. Here are a couple of tools for you and your daughter:

Celebrate the ways girls and women can work together to make a difference in the world. Social cruelty gets a lot of attention, at home, at school, and in the news. So much so that we sometimes neglect shining the light on girls taking positive action together – to stand up for something or someone, to complete a project, to cooperate as a team, or to make change in a community. See what you and your family can notice about the upside of girls’ friendships.

Be good to yourself! Help your daughter become aware of the things that help her feel better when times are rough. What are her healthy distractions? What soothes and calms her? Who can she reach out to; who are the people who love and believe in her? Role model this for her. When you’ve had a stressful day with colleagues or friends, do some good things for yourself – to calm your nervous system and remind yourself of your worth.

A Message from Dr. Melissa Johnson:

Here at the Institute, we’re dedicated to empowering girls, women, families, and circles of community. We are excited by current research, including neuroscience, as we implement best practices in assisting girls to grow – in families, through education, and in our global community. Through psychological services, educational workshops, mentorship, and our professional training programs, we seek to build skills and relational connections while advocating for positive social change at school, online, at work and in life. Helping girls grow in mindfulness, happiness, and hardiness, in self-compassion and community, in finding the courage to be true to themselves and allies with others – this is the journey. Sometimes people ask, “why do you do what you do?” Each of us at the Institute has our own unique and impassioned story to tell about why we do what we do. Bottom line, we do it because it matters. It matters for our girls, our boys, our selves, and our world.