Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Britney Spears’ infectious single “Work Bitch” has the singer using a
Madonna-esque faux accent to bring the Jesse Pinkman-inspired message
that if you want the finer things in life (a Lamborghini, martinis, to look hot
in a bikini, etc.), they won’t just be handed to you. You better work for it.
Bitch. But just how much work would it take to purchase the items Brit lists
off in the song? MTV investigates.
Based on national average salary of $43,000, it would take us regular
folk 52 years of work to buy a 2013 Bugatti Veyron (which runs more than $2
million). You want a Maseratti? You better work — for nearly three years to
flip that six-figure bill. Martinis and bikinis are generally much more
affordable, unless you’re looking to the Diamond is Forever cocktail sold at
the Tokyo Ritz-Carlton. This $18,241 Grey Goose martini is served with a
1-carat diamond garnish.
Check out the “Work Bitch” video below, which is basically just shots of B.
Spears in a desert, leaning on things and
continuing to rock the black jazz pant like it’s 1997. Homegirl should have
taken her own advice — I find myself screaming the chorus at her for the lazy dancing!
Apparently Charlie Hunnam values Jax over Christian
(as he damn well should) — the British actor has backed out on his Fifty Shades of Grey role due to
“scheduling conflicts.” Fans who want to see him sexin’ it up or flexing his
butt cheeks can just continue watching Sons
of Anarchy and old Queer as Folk
episodes.
What to Japanese children, Peter Griffin and Always Sunny have in common? They’re all featured in this amazing
and unexplainable video.
So this is what all our friends who go overseas to “teach English” are
really up to…
Elizabeth Berkley can probably never adequately express her excitement
over anything. After all, her caffeine pill-fueled breakdown as Jessie Spano on
Saved By the Bell is immortalized for
all time. “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so — SCARED!”
We’ve seen it a million times. But Berkley doesn’t shy away from this meme-like
scene from a show she starred in 20 years ago. She embraces it.
Berkley is competing on the current (and 17th?!) season of Dancing With the Stars and it’s no
surprise that she’s got killer moves — who hasn’t
seen her dance her tits off in Showgirls?
But it was quite a surprise when she and partner Val Chmerkovskiy took viewers through
an ‘80s time warp by reprising that iconic scene and dancing to the Pointer
Sisters' hit. Get it, Jessie!
Rapper’s Real Name or Republican Congressman? Test your knowledge now!
The dream team behind viral music videos “Friday”
and “It’s Thanksgiving”
have unleashed another extremely literal
Auto-Tune-heavy “song” to crawl into your ears and take up residence in your brain. Highly
respected producer Patrice Wilson strays from the topic of specific days his latest pre-teen ditty,
“Chinese Food.” (Though he continues his trend of showing up in animal costume,
which is not at all disconcerting). Alison Gold’s video is simple — it’s just a
song about a girl and her love of beautiful chow muh-muh-muh-muh-mein.
Wilson must be in on the ridiculousness because he also produced Jimmy
Kimmel’s hilarious spoof video, “Sausage Party.”
Hate all you want, but you know dude is probably too busy Scrooge McDucking
his piles of cash to care.

When high school chemistry
teacher/part-time car washer Walter White was faced with this grim
conundrum, he sought out a former student-turned-delinquent and created a
new formula of crystal meth to pay for his medical bills and provide a
safety net for his growing family. A six-time Emmy-winner, Breaking Bad goes beyond your standard
good-person-gone-bad/drug-related drama. The writing is outstanding and
each character’s performance is spot-on.