viernes, 19 de febrero de 2010

Planet of the Dinosaurs

A group of astronauts dressed in different multi-colored spandex jumpsuits crash-land on a strange and desolate planet. They go around and try to find something to help them survive, and soon find out that they’re not as alone as they probably hoped. Nope, there are dinosaurs all over the place, and they are all pissed off. Wow, where to start about this movie? It’s either the worst or the funniest dinosaur movie in the history of time, and that’s saying much since I like Prehisteria. Let’s start off with the script. It’s corny as hell and takes itself too seriously, not to mention it’s plagued with these long sequences where the characters start longing about returning to Earth. The acting is atrocious, and the actors look more like 70’s porn stars who wandered into the wrong movie. One of the actors is shirtless throughout, and a lot of them don’t leave much to the imagination thanks to their tight spandex suits. And the weirdest part of all? The soundtrack. It seems like it was either written and performed by some experimental prog-rock band like Emerson, Lake & Palmer, or it was recorded off an old video game from a Calico computer.

But there is one mayor saving grace: the dinosaurs. They don’t show up as much as I wished, but when they do, they’re in complete stop-motion glory. It’s like a stop motion gift from the gods, thanks that they break for the monotony of the ‘heroes’ talking bullshit and walking around aimlessly. We get stegosaurs, that triceratops with only one horn, I dunno it’s name, dilophosaurus and of course, the mighty T-Rex. These animals kill our heroes and every time it happens, it’s hilarious. So yes, this movie really sucks, but it’s pretty hilarious in how much it sucks and it does feature cool dinosaur effects. Recommended with a bunch of friends and a hell of a lot of beer.

The Planet Of The Dinosaurs Drinking Game! Take a shot when:-the group walks around aimlessly-A dinosaur shows up-A dinosaur eats someone-the characters are building thankless chores-the shirtless guy flexes