Under rigorous analysis, the pants scored exceptionally high marks in all manner of Southern Gentlemanly arts (see right). And why shouldn’t they? After all, they were sewn in San Francisco’s South of Market district by seamstresses who hail from southern China. And you can acquire a pair for south of $100. It doesn’t get much more Southern than that, does it? Until our scientists figure out how to fabricate them out of sweet tea, we don’t think so.

SuckerLab seersucker pants have been engineered for casual use, especially during the hazy, lazy days of summer. In test after arduous test, they’ve proven they can handle the swelter better than other trousers, even traditional seersuckers with their vertical puckered grooves. As Worthington himself opines: “You’re far cooler in the ‘suckers whose puckers go ’round — instead of up-and-down!”