Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #12

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Solve Your Own Problems

Don't wait for someone to save you.

Solve your problems yourself. Do not wait for others to save you. The idea of waiting for others, whether individuals or groups or governments is just so dis-empowering. The more I think about waiting for others to save me, the more sick I feel.

I hate the idea of waiting for others. It is just so lame to wait for someone else to decide what you ought to do.

The simple truth is that there is nobody able to save you. We believe that stories about heroes. But these are all just stories that were created to make us feel better.

I think that some of these stories were created to actually encourage people to not help themselves. If you believe that a knight in shining armor is coming to save you then you will not pick up the sword to kill the intruders trying to kill you.

Do you see how harmful it is to believe the myth of heroes? It puts you down and a mythical character up. You cannot do anything to help your life. You need a savior to save you from your sins. You need an army to keep enemies away. You need a government to protect you from whoever is going to do you harm. You need a watchdog to watch out for you.

Don't you see how this idea is just designed to keep you in your place? And your place, to them, is low. Your place is not high in this scenario.

Now I am not saying that there have not been people doing heroic things over the years. There has been plenty of that. What I am saying is that there are no heroes only people doing heroic things from time to time when the situation is right.

You cannot call anyone a hero. You can only call what they did in that instance or even many instances heroic.

They acted heroically. But they are not heroes because they would need to be continuously acting out heroically. They haven't.

But of course, that is what most people do. Most people just sit around and wait for someone else to decide and tell them what to do.

A few people will be more than happy to tell you what to do. They may do a good job and look out for you. Hopefully your parents raised you in this manner. They told you what to do but also allowed to you to grow and mature at your own pace.

Now, what about your problems.

First, make sure it is a problem of yours rather than a problem that someone else has.

Trying to solve other people's problems is a waste of your life unless solving their problems benefits you also.

Maybe you make a living by solving others problems. That helps you. You help them, but you are really helping yourself first and foremost.

Maybe solving your families and friends problems helps you by helping them. If they have a better life because of you, that helps you.

What I mean is trying to take on the problems of the world as your own. Feeling guilt for something you had nothing to do with is wrong.

You can just walk down the street and see problems to solve. Do you take the time and effort to solve all these?

Obviously not.

So concentrate on your own life and it's problems first and foremost and forever and let others do the same.

This is not what we are force fed a steady diet from the media. We constantly see stories of selflessness and altruism. We never see stories of people helping themselves we only see stories of people helping others. That is what is celebrated.

Why do you think this is so?

I believe it is carefully laid out this way to get most people to think that they are helpless lambs who need someone to look out for them. The only way we can survive is by other people solving our problems for us. If we are too stupid, too weak, too helpless and too worthless to take care of ourselves, we will need a big, strong somebody, like god or the government to care for us, to shepherd us, to give us this and that by taking from the bad guys.

Once you think of it this way you will see it constantly.

It will seem so ridiculous.

You will see the stories of people who get themselves into these ridiculous situations due to their own carelessness, stupidity or stubbornness. They will get into trouble in some way. Then some heroic figure will save them.

I look at it as if they were not so careless, stupid or stubborn they would not need saving in the first place.

I believe this type of reporting is really a method of keeping a massive amount of people living in fear and being easily controlled.

Instead of watching out for themselves and getting their life together people are waiting for someone to save them.

Waiting for a savior is a loser's game. Sorry.

What if the whole story of Jesus was entirely made up by the powers in control to further gain power over us?

Waiting for the end of the world or any story like that is just a waste of your life.

The world has been here a long time. It will be here a long time. Mankind may kill off all the people, but the world will be fine.

You may wait your entire life for someone to save you. You may never get saved. Your life will have just been a waste.

You do not hear that much about the thousands of wise people who left New Orleans before Hurricane Katrina hit the region. You only saw the stories of the stubborn fools, idiots and criminals who stayed behind and had to be saved by heroes.
Heroes are only possible because of fools and idiots too stupid to look out for themselves or too blind to their own problems.

You may have some people in your life who are competent, capable and who will help you. But what you really need to do is help yourself. You have to be the competent and capable person who helps himself. People can help you a lot better if you are actively helping yourself because then you do not need so darned much help.

You do not hear about the women who left their abusive husbands, you only hear about the women who are killed because they stayed too long. Tell me, who the smart ones who cared about their lives were?

You do not hear about the wise Jews who left Germany when the Nazis came to power. You only hear about the ones who stayed behind and suffered and died in the Holocaust.

You cannot have a good life if the people you live with or live near treat you badly. I know it is terribly hard to leave, but you must. Living with a person who mistreats you or if you are living in an area that is falling apart or at risk is not solving your problems. It is making a problem for you.

I lived with a wife, who over time, verbally abused me. I stayed in this situation far too long. But I did eventually leave.
I saved myself.
I solved my problem myself.

We only hear the sad stories of the people who did not take care of themselves. If you take care of yourself, there will not really be a story. There will just be a magnificent life that you lived. To me, living a great life is better than any sad story.

Hans Recommends

How to Leave Your Wife
The book is my story of how I found the courage to leave my wife and get on with my life. Now that I have left my life has never been better. My kids have never been happier and more at peace.

The Secret of Deliberate Creation is an excellent audio program by Dr. Robert Anthony. I have been listening to it over and over again and my life is getting better in the process. I am starting to manifest good things into my life as a result of using this program.