Tag Archives: knotty

Several months ago, I got a perm. I wanted more volume in my fine, limp hair. The perm burnt my hair so bad that in the couple of months following the perm that I had handfuls of hair falling out every day. Then, when Jarrod and I went to Riot Fest in September, we were both admiring people’s dreadlocks, and I mentioned how I had tried dreadlocks a few times and failed, brushed them out, etc. I had installed them alone, or with a friend’s help. But they never seemed right so I never kept them long. But Jarrod was really into the idea of me having them because he appreciates that style. So we decided I would go get them professionally done to ensure a long future with them. We decided to use real human hair extensions with them so I wouldn’t lose too much length, and they looked pretty good once done.

Over the first couple months things went well. Once I got over the initial shock to my scalp and the itching faded, I was quite happy with them. I was getting monthly maintenance to keep them tidy-ish and make sure they were locking up properly. At my 2nd maintenance session, my stylist started expressing concern for my roots. My hair was already fragile from that perm a few months prior, and the weight of the dreaded hair + extensions was making my hair break off an inch or two from my scalp. But she remained optimistic and told me we would just keep up on the maintenance and keep reinforcing it, and it would likely be fine.

Last week when I went in for my 4th tidying, she wasn’t so optimistic. She said my fine, brittle hair wasn’t doing so well, and I had a lot of factors working against me for a future with the dreadlocks. At that point, I felt I needed to make a tough decision. I could either keep going, paying her to maintain and strengthen my hair every month with no guarantee it was going to be successful, I could brush them out and have “crypt keeper” remains of my hair, or I shave my head and have a clean slate. Jarrod and I discussed all the pros and cons of all options involved, and came to the very difficult and painful decision to just shave it all off. And rather than stall that decision, we decided to do it as soon as possible so it can start the process of growing back. Before shaving. The final pic with dreadlocks.

I’m honestly okay with it. It feels good, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know it’s just hair, and will grow back. And Jarrod seems to be okay with it too. He said he was more concerned with my reaction to shaving my head than how he would feel about it himself. But since I am okay with it, he is too. The kids really don’t seem to care all that much. The girls were in disbelief that I’d do it, but the boys already know how spontaneous I can be.

For now I’ll wear plenty of hats to keep warm since it’s still the middle of winter here in Iowa. I plan to keep from dying my hair indefinitely, and certainly won’t be perming it ever again. I’d like to see what it does when left to grow naturally. It’s been decades since I’ve just let it be. I’ll find some decent quality shampoo and conditioner to keep it healthy. And I’m already taking Biotin and other vitamins to make sure it grows back stronger.

I made the decision recently to give it another try after several failed attempts over the last 4 years, and I started a new set of dreadlocks.

First try, back in 2013

My desire for dreadlocks started back in 2012 or so. I’m not sure the exact person or thing that made me want to give them a try myself, but I started doing a lot of research. I joined a couple of groups on Facebook, I watched YouTube videos about how to do them myself, and I read a LOT of information online. The first time I tried them, I had my mom help me, and I used wax. Obviously that was a HUGE no-no, as the wax coated everything it touched including my face, clothing, bed sheets, etc. That was very short-lived, and they were combed and washed out after less than a week. I looked up some more natural ways to get it done, and found the twist-n-rip method to be something I could do myself. I tried that, and they lasted about 3 months before I was so itchy, full of flakes, and felt incredibly unattractive and had a friend help me brush them out.

I tried it a couple more times in the same way, and the final time I decided I was never going to try again. It was far too itchy, stinky, and uncomfortable overall. I even made myself a private YouTube video to watch if I ever considered doing it again, explaining why it was a terrible idea.

I must say however, in retrospect, I believe a lot of the bad luck I had with this style was the lifestyle I was living as much as the misinformation and lack of support I had to pull it off. As is said in many cultures, knots contain and keep energy, and I was never in a good enough place in my life, physically nor emotionally, to want to keep those vibes attached to me and worn on my head.

Then, in September, Jarrod and I went to RiotFest in Chicago. There were quite a few people there with dreadlocks and I was in love with them! I told Jarrod how much I admired dreads and wished I could pull it off, and he also said how much he loved them. So we discussed it further and we decided to get some professionally installed for me.

A week later it was done. It took 6 hours and human hair extensions to get them started because of quite a lot of damage I had due to a perm I’d gotten a couple months prior. Its been over a month since they were started now, and they are still comfortable 90% of the time. The only time they aren’t is if it’s wash day (because I wash when they’re itchy). I have the proper shampoos and products that help them lock up the right way, and keep me from itching or stinking. And my stylist is pretty amazing too, with her maintenance keeping them looking tidy, and advice as to how to care for them to keep them healthy. Not to mention my mental and physical states are MUCH improved… I love my life! I do believe with the amount of care and attention my hair is getting and will continue to get, these beautiful locs can last a very long time…. years, in fact! I’m very happy with my decision to give it another try.