Well, I feel like a failure even though I shouldn't...

59 posts in this topic

I mean I've gotten laid quite a few times, but that's not what I'm in it for. I just want to feel like I'm a part of and belong to something. I want to establish an identity for myself.

Focus on your education, the identity that you build through it eventually will far outweigh any social identity that a fraternity will provide. Enjoy college life and party to your hearts content, but make college what college is supposed to be about - your education pursuant to a better life for yourself.

Share on other sites

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

I mean I've gotten laid quite a few times, but that's not what I'm in it for. I just want to feel like I'm a part of and belong to something. I want to establish an identity for myself.

without trying to sound condescending... joining a frat isn't really establishing an identity for yourself, it's taking on someone else's identity. Whether that's the identity you want is a different story...

you get to be an adult now... any lingering high-school perspective only hurts you from here on out.

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

You guys are right. By focusing on my education I can establish a proper identity for myself. Besides in twenty years nobody is going to give two fugs about which fraternity I was in, but will give two fugs about the degree and job I have. Thanks for the comments.

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

I wasn't in a fraternity in college but my fiancé (who I met after college) joined a sorority her sophomore year at UGA. She didn't want to go through the experience freshman year but wound up being close friends with five or six girls that had just rushed and joined the same sorority. And while she is still great friends with those same five or six, she made far more friends outside the sorority in the dorms than they did freshman year. She wound up bringing those two groups of friends together later in life now that they/we live in Atlanta. Long story short...you could still be friends with those guys. Not sure how the whole rushing thing works but assume you could rush again next year.

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Yeah, when I was at CofC we felt sorry for the people in frats: they were forced to go to the frat parties in the houses while we went to loft parties on King St, 15 keg ragers on Cannon, or bonfires out on Folly.

Even in a big school you can find a party though. Talk to everyone (or at least pretend to listen), be confident, and be positive. You will end up at plenty of fun events.