Hey, it's a valid question. Most of us have consumed porn at least once, and we are constantly exposed to very sexualized almost porn-like media content (see pic of actual Hardees commercial above). Whenever we ask if something is paleo we basically wonder if based on our genetic make-up and our ancestral paradigm that something is good for us.

But before we face the question if porn is good for humankind maybe we should take one step back and just clarify what I mean when I refer to porn.

pornography pɔːˈnɒɡrəfi/nounPornography (also referred to "porn" or "porno") is the direct portrayal of human sexuality or of the sexual act, usually with the intention to sexually arouse the audience. And because common sense, human decency and my own moral compass strongly demand it, I am excluding overly violent sexual content which include children, snuff and any actual criminal/ non-consentual sexual abuse.

Now let's talk about sex

We can all agree that sex is natural. It is how our species keeps on existing. But what we cannot seem to agree on is how sexuality should be expressed or executed. Although it's so much easier now get access to sex and sex content (thank you, Internet and media) it's still difficult to actually ask or to speak with someone directly about it.

Imagine how difficult it is to talk ask about people's porn habits. Although I have to correct myself a bit. It is a tad easier to talk with open-minded guy friends about it. Judging from my limited pool of male informants it seems that men use porn regularly to get off. Usually, their porn consumption was the highest in their teens and tweens. Some of them have gone through to some sort of regular high porn consumption phase á la Don Jon or are kind of still in it. In Don Jon Joseph Gordon-Levitt portrays a likable New Jersey guy who is dedicated to his family, friends, church and, yup, porn. As we follow his quest to find happiness and be in a relationship we get the message that too much porn sets up unrealistic expectations (link NSFW) and stunts your ability as a lover, to form a meaningful relationship and makes you miserable overall.

I heard something similar in 2013 in one of Ben Greenfield's Fitness and Bodyhack podcast on How To Get Fit For Sex with Jordan Gray. Jordan Gray, who is a relationship coach, argues that on overconsumption of porn can lead on an "arousal addiction". He claims that studies have shown that porn basically "poisons your sexlife". Through porn we suddenly have easy access to an all-you-can-fap buffet of attractive, air-brushed and hypersexual potential sex partners. Our brain, Gray says, gets numb from this barrage of stimuli, and when you actually get intimate with a real person that person is often not enough to trigger a state of arousal. Therefore, Gray recommends his clients to go on a porn detox by either just watching the work of one porn performer, cut down on porn time or go entirely cold turkey.

Gray is not alone with this theory. Web sites like YourBrainOnPorn.com or FightTheNewDrug.org support and report on anti-pornography research. The founder of Your Brain On Porn, Gary Wilson who is also the author of the book with the same title, held a TEDx talk in 2012 called "The Great Porn Experiment". As stated in his website he argues that our brain has not evolved to cope with today's internet porn. The consequences are porn addiction and damages to our mental health.

On top of that there is still the traditional notion that porn is inherently misogynistic, objectifying and degrading women, possibly fostering sexual aggression and abuse.

So what does science say about all this? Is porn the processed food of sex? Have we actually evolved to be porn intolerant and should we avoid it like gluten?

Research and Data

We all know that you can pick and evaluate according to your bias. If you want porn to be evil there will be research to support your opinion. The most balanced studies out there won't completely condemn or absolve anything. The same thing with porn. Apparently porn is not as bad as it is often made out to be. Statistical data from Denmark and Germany has shown that sex crime rate has fallen since porn has been legalized in the 70's. It would be to premature to directly conclude that porn had an almost catharis-effect on the population. Or maybe it was the type or porn. In pre-internet Germany, porn on TV would only be shown late nights on certain cable channels and was generally what we nowadays refer as, vanilla. The kinky and hardcore stuff was only available in sex shops or the adult content section which you could only enter if you were of age, meaning 18. But you can go so far to say that the legalisation of porn had now negative impact on Germany's crime rate so far.

What about the claim that porn is addictive and damages our noggin? The latest review of studies on the possible negative impact of internet porn published 2012 in the journal of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity deduced that those studies are inconclusive and cannot prove increased promiscous behaviour or desentization towards sexual stumuli which could lead to porn addiction. A study conducted by Steele, Staley Fong and Prouse showed people who identified themselves as porn addicts showed more electrical brain response on their EEG when watching porn

The study suggests that porn addicts are more likely people with a strong seuxual desire. In this high porn consumption is not the cause but rather the symptom. But the symptom of what? It is interesting to note that most studies show that the majority of sex or porn addicts are male. In one article Peg O'Connor, a science writer for Psychology Today, goes so far to describe sex addiction as "hypermasculinity" and suggest that "sex addiction and hypersexuality may be consequences of a very rigid gender system".

"Rigid gender roles make it difficult if not impossible to draw the line between what is 'normally' expected for male sexuality and what is disordered. We live in a culture that glorifies masculinity and expects men to be “real men” who constantly think about beer and babes and who try to score as often as they can. There's very much an 'Atta boy!' kind of attitude.

As Chyng Sun, a media studies professor at New York University once put it: "It’s the social norms and standards that led to the creation of certain stereotypes in the first place: not a result of pornography, but rather a reflection of the direction broader society has taken. ‘We live in a patriarchy, where women are fundamentally objectified. We shouldn’t be surprised to see it play out in pornography.’"

Or in other words: They way we define porn defines us. In a time when every answer to question can be googled ,especially for younger people, porn also serves as source of information. As already mentioned before talking about sex can be awkward. Talking about sex with chilldren or adolescents can be even more awkward. Sex is often still perceived as shameful and can corrupt the innocence of youth. If you're Asian chances are that you never got The Talk. A Chinese friend of mine did not even know until her mid-20s that urine and mensi blood don't exit from the same opening.

The problem with porn is that it is not particular clear that a lot of what is shown is nothing but the depiction of a fantasy. A porn won't usually tell you if a 10 minute or a 30 minute sex act is normal, that everyone experiences sex differently. At moment for many unfortunately porn is all the sexual education they got.

So that's bad then? Porn is therefore bad? Not so fast. In my opinion porn is not the ideal sex ed tool. Circling back to the beginning: Sex is paleo. It's part of our human nature. Everyone, including the young folks, should know that sex is ok. It's ok to want it a certain way and to be curious about it. And it should be ok to communicate about it. The actress Rashida Jones refered to a line or balance which must be tought between "freedom of sexual expression and pride in who they are on the inside". There is no shame in that.

But shame is still a huge factor when it comes to sex. It is also the reason why the general public perceives every kind of porn as the same. Although it's a no brainer for us to accept that there are good movies and there are bad movies, we have a harder time making this distinction for porn.

Back to Paleo

Returning to the buffet analogy: Like with food there are quality differences, and I'm not only talking about a steady camera and decent actors. Have the participants in the movie been treated well? Were the hours and the payment ok? Were the actors enjoying or ok with what the script dictated them to do?

So the question if porn is good for us cannot be that easily answered. But like processed food it's not all that bad. It can be the organic, grass-fed, full-fat greek yoghurt of sex - wholesome, satifying, creamy pleasure which an be shared or the sexual equivalent to a diet soda - a flame retardant, inflammatory, ineffective thirst quencher losing it's fizz way too quickly.

Porn has positive potential in the right places. Maybe just not in a Hardees commercial.