Sexy town, USA

I’d be more impressed with Columbus finishing second on the list of most sexually active cities
if Indianapolis wasn’t No. 1.

You’d expect Las Vegas, New York City, Miami or San Francisco. But Indianapolis?

I know what the rest of the nation is saying already:
Of course Indianapolis is No. 1 in sex. What else is there to do?

You can see how this diminishes our robust showing in the survey.

The
rankings
are from
Men’s Health, and they are, like all magazine rankings, a shallow exercise in boosting
circulation.

I suppose it would be possible to survey people in Indianapolis and Columbus as to frequency
of sex – if you could get them out of bed long enough. But magazines never take that approach. They
simply grab whatever statistics they can get about anything related to the category.

So, to arrive at its list,
Men’s Health compared condom sales, birth rates and sex-toy sales to arrive at the
ranking.

A couple of thoughts here: Don’t condoms, at least theoretically, prevent births? So if
Columbus and Indy ranked high in both condom sales and births couldn’t it also mean that they are
the two cities where condoms are most likely to break? Or are men here buying them for some other
purpose? Is there an attempt to set the world record for condom balloon drop in the offing?

As for sex toys, the magazine used sales figures from Babeland and Pure Romance. But we’re
the home of the Lion’s Den, and when it comes to vibrators, maybe Columbus people like to buy
local. In that case, we could easily have finished ahead of Indianapolis if the Den had been
figured in.

I'd be more skeptical of Indianapolis and Columbus being national leaders in sex if Ft. Wayne,
Ind., and Cincinnati hadn't finished No. 3 and 4 respectively. There does seem to be a pattern
developing here. Maybe Ohio and Indiana really are setting the pace for whoopee-making.

In that case, people on the coasts may continue to think of us as being in the Rust Belt or
the Farm Belt -- but certainly not the Chastity Belt.