Thoughts that written by ordinary woman who has been through lots in her life. There are the ups, the downs and the hurdles, but I manage. Through all that, I just lay my life to God. For the fun parts, I love dancing ( hip hop, street and LA style ), books, movies, eating, food, and just sleep!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Please Let Me Enjoy My Peace. Please Don't Open My Scar

This blog is my personal point of view. There are posts about my anger, and posts how I calm down. This is my diary, the ride of my life. The storms I had in life and how I overcome it. Inspiration mostly comes from John Tucker, although not in good way.

Three months of struggle. Getting out the pain in the chest. Holding back the rage. Trying to smile even though it was very aching. I couldn't breath because of the pain.With tears and in silence I talked to Allah. HE prevented me of doing destructive things to John Tucker, although I could destroy his life. HE helped me to be strong. HE showed me the way.

Yesterday's post about my old scar being opened again. It was accident and I thought I was ready. But I'm not ready. Every time his name being spoken, the pain comes back. The rage bursted out.

It's good for me that I'm left alone with my own peace, my own life. I'm putting my life back, breathing the air. Please don't remind me of him in any way. It's toxicating for me and slowing down my healing process.