Love, at last

Sept. 21, 2013

Updated Sept. 20, 2013 6:30 p.m.

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"You never know how these things are going to go but that was fun,” said Jen on her frist date with Tony. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"I promise you the best of myself, my dreams, and my whole heart for my whole life, in sickness and in health, in plenty or in want, and I promise to always shop at the 99cent store first, even if we can afford to do all of our shopping at Bristol Farms," said Jen in her vows to Tony. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"I love you for who you are now and the woman you are going to be," said Tony in his vows to Jen." I choose you for who you are, loving what I know of you and trusting what I have yet to learn. I promise to respect your opinion, to learn from you and to always listen to what you have to say." The cermony was led by Pastor Doug Haag. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"A couple of days before the wedding my dad said to me, 'don't look for the other person to make you happy.” ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"Marriage is important for companionship and knowing that somebody has your back," says Tony. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"It was a really relaxed morning and I didn't think there wasn't any reason to get up tight about anything," says Jen of getting ready the day of her wedding. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"Marriage is important for growth," says Jen. "I've heard it's the great refiner. It makes us better people." ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"It was the right time for me," says Tony on finding Jen. "There was no amount of willing it, nothing could have changed that. It was just the right time and Jen was the right girl." ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"The more we know each other and the deeper our relationship gets we realize how much we balance each other," says Jen ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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Jen and Tony made the light-up "LOVE" sign in an afternoon with pallets, light bulbs and metal. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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All the bridesmaids wore different shades of purple. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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Jen's advice for brides: "Choose vendors that you like and trust and let them do what they do well." ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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"It comes down to my very first impression of him that he is the most sweetest most genuine person," says Jen of Tony. "One of the things is that he is just really genuine." ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

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Wedding guest, Dean Hatch hold up the "Yay" sign that Jen designed for the wedding. ALLY STEPP, ALLY STEPP

As an Orange County wedding photographer, Jen Disney has attended more than 100 weddings. She spends her weekends watching couples vow undying love, share passionate kisses and dance under the stars in lace and tuxedos. Not only does Jen's professional life overflow with matrimony, but she has served as a bridesmaid 11 times. Watching a seemingly endless stream of friends and clients skip past her to the altar was at times torture for the single Jen.

“It was really hard,” says the 38-year-old. “I was looking at photos of people in love all the time and wondering, why not me? What's wrong with me?”

For years, Jen subscribed to a surplus of dating sites, was set up by friends, and met guys at her church in Fullerton. She would go on dates, talk on the phone, send messages … but none of the prospective men fit. Jen did not merely want a guy to take her to movies, she wanted the kind of companionship that she could pledge her life to.

A romantic with a bubbly personality, Jen often laughed off her struggle to find “the one.” All three of Jen's roommates in her Fullerton house got engaged within a year of moving in. “The joke was that if you moved in with me you would probably get married in the next year or so,” says Jen. “First it was really funny, and then after a while it felt just mean.”

Jen has an infectious laugh and creative outlook, so one wonders why she had such a hard time finding love. She admits to being picky about dates, and was often guarded or underwhelmed by the men she encountered. “Sometimes my gut would say, this isn't right,” explains Jen. “I didn't feel a real connection and then I would break it off and down the line I'd be crying about being single. My mom would ask, ‘Are there any that you look back on that you wish you would have married?' And I'd always say no.”

As Jen made peace with her frustrations, a grad student at Asuza Pacific University was debating rejoining eharmony.com. Tony Arneson's life was similarly swollen with relationships and marriage, but he was habitually single. Studying to become a marriage and family therapist, Tony wished for his own experience of lasting love.

As he reactivated his eharmony.com account, there was a message blinking in his inbox. Tony, 40, opened the note and liked what he saw. “I thought, oh my gosh, this woman is gorgeous,” he says. Tony was drawn to her love of the outdoors and spiritual depth. Jen even mentioned woodworking – one of Tony's favorite pastimes – as a hobby.

The two sent messages back and forth for weeks before arranging a date at The Night Owl in Fullerton on March 17, 2012. Tony's kind eyes and warm attentiveness put Jen at ease. Tony was different, and something just clicked. Conversing for hours, strolling through downtown Fullerton peering in the windows of Jen's favorite stores, Jen and Tony realized they'd each found someone special.

“She was real, and I felt like we had known each other our whole lives,” says Tony.

Tony and Jen went on hikes, played Scrabble, held hands and shared meals. Because they were both in their late 30s and looking for something serious, Tony and Jen became exclusive.

Months later, while shopping on Balboa Island, Tony pulled a pen from his pocket and slyly wrote something on Jen's collarbone. She rushed to a mirror to see that he had written: “I love you.”

Two days before Christmas 2012, Tony took Jen out for a surprise photography date. In the past, the two would pick a favorite spot and snap pictures to memorialize their dates. This time, Tony drove to one of Jen's favorite spots, Union Station in Los Angeles, and instructed her to take photos of things that reminded her of their relationship and love. As she clicked away, Tony told her to turn around.

When Jen looked behind her, she saw “Jen Will You Marry Me?” spelled out on posters held up by friends. More than 50 onlookers gathered around the couple as Tony bent on one knee and slipped a round diamond onto Jen's finger.

With a lifetime of experience in the wedding world, Jen had a lot of ideas for their wedding. Tony and Jen agreed they wanted the event to feel like a relaxed party in their home. The Hurst Ranch in West Covina had the rustic outdoor vibe that they both loved, so they secured the spot for April 28, 2013.

Jen and Tony put their creativity to work building a large outdoor stage and a light-up “LOVE” sign made from wood pallets. Jen wore a custom gown sewn from her mother's 1966 dress and carried a bouquet wild with mint and lilacs.

“Jen has the capacity to make ordinary things beautiful,” says Tony. “In my life I felt that sometimes I had been discarded, and her seeing a value in me and instilling that in my life really changed things.”

At the altar, through tears and laughter, Tony turned to Jen, vowing, “I promise to get you a blanket when you get cold, hold your hand like it was our fourth date, to close the cupboard doors whenever I get a cup. I promise to spoil you as much as is humanly possible, put you before me in everything, and to let you cry just because.”

Jen let tears run down her face, telling Tony, “For years I cried out to God, often doubting he was listening or that he had a plan for me. Then I met you … It couldn't have been anyone else. You are the perfect match for me.”

Fittingly, the couple's first dance was to “At Last” by Etta James.

Not as a bridesmaid or photographer, but as a glowing bride, Jen twirled on the dance floor and embraced the love that changed her life.

The two enjoy living together in Fullerton and admit that things are not always easy. They argue at times but always return to the gratitude they have in finding each other.

Tony adds, “I spent practically 40 years of my life alone. There were countless times that I would go out to dinner by myself and now I don't have to. I have Jen.”

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