Out of the three children i have, one turned out to be normal. She pushes my buttons instantly and my anger raises spontaneously, she teaches me I am but a normal person and not the extraordinary mother I want to be.

God has sent her to me, to show that grace when shown at ordinary situations is but ordinary and grace when shown under pressure is anything but ordinary

Thank you God, for sending me to her, to challenge me constantly, to defy me and to make me into a stronger, kinder, gentler and firmer person that i wish to be

Thank you Lord, you always look upon me, smile at me, and keep pushing my envelopes so I never have to have a dull moment in my life

the funny thing about writing is, you are empty when you begin with, you walk in with trepidation wanting to write but nothing to write, but you start to write, and then comes the writing.

its funny, isn't it

i do want to write the review for SOT, but I hold that thought in a bubble of trepidation, waiting for it to burst and inspiration to gush, but if i wait, i will be waiting, it is me who has to burst the bubble, take the first step, the fatal step towards writing.

i have deeply failed as a mother, to teach the mother tongue to her kids. what more satisfying, primal and urgent than speaking in one's own tongue. I have to do this, there is no choice, it is not late
Mother Tongue, here i come

nothing can come between my children and me. When they are there, all my time is for them. Let there not be a single ambiguity in that. Only when you want to do something else, do you get angry with them and yourself. Let there be no ambiguity. They are the precious threads in my life that i weave upon. without them, there is no me, till they get out of this house.

Translation
While Suffering everyone Prays and Remembers Him, in joy no one does
If one prays and remembers Him in happiness, why would sorrow come?

Meaning

The suffering you experience in the world is designed to wake you up. You wake up when you realize God. If you did that during your happy times, then you will not experience suffering because there woud be no need for it.

Dohas are two line poems in Hindi. The translation presented here is a literal translation of the Hindi verses where this is possible, rather then a poetic re-phrasing of the original verses in English.

With this approach, in most cases, the meaning of the verse is conveyed to the reader, which is the most important part, though sadly, much is lost, including the taste and aspects of the meaning. I have, however, added text to further explain the meaning as best I can.

In my view, it is better to learn Kabir's verse in Hindi, and know its additional meaning from the use and sound of the original words, otherwise the meaning that Kabir wanted to convey is lost. Hndi/Urdu is considered the idal language for Poetry, but it often does not have equivalent expressions in English, simply because the experience that those expressions contain don't exist in the English culture, where different experiences exist.

There is power in Kabir's choice of words, the sounds convey the power and it is well worth learning the sound and meaning of the Hindi words. The same as for example, the verses of Shakespeare, you would need to learn English to start to understand Shakespeare.

A true poetic translation of Kabir into English that keeps the meaning, tone, meter, rhyme and maintains the vocal and psychological power of the words is not possible. You would need a true genius like Shakespeare to do that. Lesser Poets like Tagore have tried, but the end result is way, way short of the original.

Rabindranath Tagore's work, One Hundred Poems of Kabir, for example, does not even convey the simple, basic meaning of the original, never mind the subtler, spiritual meaning. In addition, his English is lofty, high English, which conveys little to the average English reader, who would not be much impressed by it. Tagore's language is not the simple, down to earth language used by the ordinary, generally poor person as Kabir's use of Hindi was. This is because Tagore's command of common, native, everyday English was poor, because he never lived in the slums of east London for example. Also even Tagore, who is considered a mystical genius, did not have the required spiritual awareness to understand Kabir fully.

Kabir tended to use simple, common, slang words, rather then the high minded Sanskrit words. Kabir was familiar with Sanskrit, but he wanted to reach the ordinary person on the streets, so he used Hindi. Many of Kabir's words are not in use today in modern Hindi, which makes understanding him more difficult.

For example, 'Punyah' would not be understood in today's Hindi, Urdu or Punjabi. Punyah is an expression used in Pahati, my native Kashmiri tongue, which contains Hindi, Punjabi and Sanskrit terms. It means 'under' as in 'under the feet', or 'floor' as in 'sit on the floor'.. In modern Hindi/Urdu, it would be 'Nicheh', in Punjabi it would be 'Thelah', but these do not convey the sense of Punyah:

Kall pereh punya letna, uper gemsi ghass!

(tomorrow you'll be laying under feet, on top will grow grass!).

This literally, in simple words explains what Kabir wanted to convey - that tomorrow you will be laying in your grave, on top the grass will grow. There is humour, as well as meaning about the impermenance of life, in Kabir's simple original, which is conveyed here.

Most Kabir translations available in English (like Kabir: Ecstatic Poems by Robert Bly), are based on Tagore - they improve on Tagore's English only. Other English translations are no better then Tagore's for the same reasons.

Here at least the English reader will have a truer understanding of the meaning of Kabir's poem/verse.

The tradition of Hindi Spiritual songs in India, rather then Sanskrit Bhajans, derives from the songs and dohas of Kabir. They are still sung in India today. Scholars say that Kabir's influence on the development of the modern Hindi/Urdu language was the same as Shakespeare's influence on the development of the English language.

Translation
Watching the grinding stones, the lamp Kabir Cries
Inside the Two Stones, no one survives

Meaning:

Kabir sees the two grinding mill stones as the duality that we live in. Heaven and earth, Good and Bad, Male and Female, High and Low - all around is duality. This play of opposites, this Chalti Chakki, this moving mill, this moving cosmos, it destroys everyone, no one is save from in it's powerful grip and grinding action.

Whoever enters this duality is crushed. No one survives, which brings Kabit to tears. Kabir cries because rarely, if ever, does one see the oneness, the divinity, behind the duality.

Translation
I went on the search for the bad guy, bad buy I couldn't find
When I searched my mind, then no one is as bad as me

Meaning

This doha is about observing ones own mind. Kabir says that he searched the world for the bad guy, the real evil person reponsile for all the pain and suffering in the worrld, But he couldn't find the evil person no matter where he looked.

Then he looked at and critically examined his own mind, his own thinking process.

There he found the real evil thing that lived hidden inside, and grew unchecked. All evil is caused by thinking, which is the action of the unobserved mind.

When we accuse and condemn another, it is our mind that is doing the finger pointing, the other person is probably innocent or the victim of his circumstances. Were we to inhabit the condemned persons body, live his life, have his life conditioning, then we too would behave and act the same.

In speech use such words that your ego is eliminated. Don't brag, don't gloat, don't make yourself out to be big, important, rich or anything else that the ego attaches to. Building the Ego takes energy from the body, takes away the bodies composure. If ego is lost in ones speech, the listener finds peace from listening to it.

Translation
God, give me so, so much wealth, that my community is fed
I don't remain hungry, the Sadhu does not go hungry

Meaning

In this doha, Kabir asks God for wealth in abundance - that his community is fed, he does not starve and the visiting Sadhu (holy man) does not go hungry. For him, true wealth is in these simple things, the gift of life, aily sustenence for the community and that the sadhu does not go hungry.

Kabir does not ask for a mansion, a Mercedes benz, a colour TV or millions in a swiss bank account, what real use are they to him?

Neither Maya Died, Nor the Mind Died, Die and die again People/Bodies
Hope and delusion have not died, so said Das Kabir and left

Meaning

One of Kabir most meaningful doha's for me. Kabir observes the world from within, and sees the world as Maya - illusion. It is projected by Mun, the mind, the collective mind. Shareer refers to the living body or living person. Shareer's die and die again.

There is hope that this will end, that there will be the emergence of a new Shareer that will wake up, and then Maya and Mun will instead die.

Translation
While Suffering everyone Prays and Remembers Him, in joy no one does
If one prays and remembers Him in happiness, why would sorrow come?

Meaning

The suffering you experience in the world is designed to wake you up. You wake up when you realize God. If you did that during your happy times, then you will not experience suffering because there woud be no need for it.

Translation
Alive one sees, alive one knows, find your liberation while alive
If Alive you do not cut the noose of your attachments , how will there be liberation with death?

Meaning

You need to wake up while you are alive, it is your only chance. You need to drop the ties of attachments to illusory things that bind you in illusion. This can only be done while alive, death is not a liberator.

Translation
First the pain of separation, then the thirst for Love
Says Kabir, only then will you know Joy of the Union.

Meaning

First the pain of separation, then the thirst for love. Only from the pain of separation do we feel the pangs of love. There is then hope of union. This is the story of life - the lovers meeting, separating, the pangs of love and the urge for union and the eventual union. In Sufi tradition it is a reflection of man and God - realization of the separation from God, the pangs of love and urge for union with God, and the eventual joy of union.

Translation
When I was, then Hari (God) was not, Now Hari is and I am not
All the darkness dissolved, When I saw the light within.

Meaning

When we see ourselves as individuals, there is the concept of "I". This is in duality - that is, there is me, you, him, this computer, that sofa, this hand, that chair. When we see beyond the duality, where "I" no longer exists, then only God exists, and I don't.

The word Hari comes from the Hindi Her, meaning every (everyone, everything), and is a reference to God. The mantra Hari Ohm, literally means God, God, or everywhere God.

So, before duality, God was and I was not. Now in duality, I am, and God is not seen. This darkness dissolves when I see that God is within me. Then I realize that "I" don't exist as my mind would have me believe that I do.

Translation
What harm have the hair done, you shave them hundred times
Why not shave the mind, there grow unchecked countless poisonous thoughts

Meaning

There is a tradition of monks having their hair shaved. They do this again and again. Kabir asks: what has the hair done that yo cut it hundreds of times? Why don't you cut the mind, where are born the Vishey Vikaar?

Translation
Kabir, He alone is the Warrior , who takes on the mind head-on
Crushing the sensual five, all duality gone

Meaning

The real fighter, the real warrior is the one who takes on his own mind.

The Mind controls the 'sensual five', the five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste

These five senses and the mind that interprets the vibrations that the senses deliver to the brain, they all tell us lies. The mind and the five sesnses tell us that duality exists, though in truth it does not. Like a dream, everything around us does not exist - only God exists, everything else is part of duality.

You are 10 my dear. You always eke a lot of sympathy from mom more cuz 1. You listen to me implicitly 2. You look like someone who needs to be rescued all the time with your puppy dog eyes 3. And the girls are always together and hence you feel so much more lonelier without them and you get so much time alone simply because your schedule is different from theirs. You yearn for their company but it is not as much as you imagined with all the infighting and back stabbing going on.

Also on top due to mummy's fault you have gained so much weight it is an uphill battle to remove it. But mummy will not give up on you. She is going to make sure you lose your puppy fat and become one hell of a good looking kid that you are. With so much love that could fill the earth and beyond my Love my Tejas