Tony Scali is the police commissioner in a small town, where solutions to difficult situations often require considerable creativity. Tony's easygoing manner and clever intellect are much more useful to him than weapons or brute force in his fight against crime.

Quotes (6)

Tony Scali: You know, David, I come from a different time. It was easier to believe that people did things for reasons other than money, because they wanted to help, because they loved what they were doing. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Yogi Berra would have played baseball for free. I feel bad for kids your age, David. It's so hard to have a hero. Someone you can count on for the right reasons. Someone you can trust. There's no one left.
David Scali: There's you. I think you love what you do. I mean, you don't get paid any money to be a dad. You don't have to hit home runs to be my hero. And you don't charge so much for autographs.

Jeff Hartley: You think Gordy's mother walked under a ladder right before he was born?
Tony Scali: He's just had some bad breaks lately. He's got low self-esteem.
Jeff Hartley: Deservedly so.

Ricky Caruso(after finding the altar): What a way to spend a weeknight. Dinner, TV, a little human sacrifice ...

John Hibbs: Just because the guy lives in a pig sty does not mean he's a warlock. I mean, if that's the case, my whole family would be witches.

Tony Scali: Why did you become a cop?
Cyd Madison: I'm single. They said if I caught any guys, I could keep them.

Lucille: My sister puts my nephew on top of the clothes dryer. The warmth and vibration puts him right out.
Tony Scali: Really? That works?
Lucille: Honey, half of what's wrong with the world could be cured with a little warmth and vibration.

Trivia (14)

Goof: When Rachel is cutting out coupons at the breakfast table, the pages look like real newspaper pages in the master shots. In her close-ups, however, she is handling thicker paper that is unprinted on the reverse, leaving a plain white side facing the camera.

Tony's call number is C-1.

When Hu drops the trash into the dumpster (just before Carmela shows up), part of the name on the side is taped over to create the words 'LA LAW'. The actual name of the waste management company was Laidlaw Waste Systems. Laidlaw later became the Waste Management of Canada Corporation -- whose telephone number still ends in 7800, just like the number on the dumpster.

Allusions (17)

Tony Scali(to Arnie): You won a Monopoly tournament when you were twelve. That doesn't make you Donald Trump.
Donald Trump is a well-known businessman and media personality who made the phrase 'You're fired!' famous with the television series The Apprentice.

Tony Scali(to Rachel): There's gotta be somewhere between more space and Tara.
Tara was the plantation in Margaret Mitchell's novel Gone With the Wind, modeled after real plantations in the author's local area.

Tony Scali(to Bobby): I bet this is the closest you've come to a police station since Hill Street went off the air.
Hill Street Blues was a police series from NBC that aired from 1981 to 1986.

Tony Scali(to Ricky): You come along, 'Book 'em Dano', and he goes off like a rocket.
'Book 'em Dano' was a phrase made famous by the television series Hawaii Five-O.

Tony Scali: They get their name from that, uh, Duvall line from Apocalypse Now.
In the 1979 movie, the line "Charlie don't surf" comes just before the famous "Ride of the Valkyries" scene with the helicopters.

Stan: Stellars! Stellars!
This scene is a takeoff on the famous Marlon Brando scene from A Streetcar Named Desire when he yells, "Stella! Stella!"

Paulie: My master's voice.
"His Master's Voice" was the name given to the painting of a dog looking into the cone of a phonograph; it eventually became a logo for RCA Victor.

Tony Scali: Didn't you guys ever watch The Honeymooners?
The Honeymooners, starring Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden, Audrey Meadows as his wife, Alice, and Art Carney and Joyce Randolph as neighbors Ed and Trixie Norton, ran on CBS from 1955-1956. This classic comedy sitcom is listed as one of TIME magazine's 100 best TV series of all time.