Myers-Briggs and Me

I am an introvert. I’m not a complete hermit, but I like to be alone (in fact I need to be alone) regularly because people generally exhaust me. As a kid, I would often spend time alone in my room, and my family thought something was wrong with me. I have had many instances over the years where my lack of desire to participate in some event has caused others to wonder if I don’t like them. And, because I hate small talk and am not very good at acknowledging others’ feelings, I sometimes appear cold and standoffish.

During my twenties, I learned about Myers-Briggs, and it was a great discovery because for the first time, I realized the people are naturally different and that there is nothing wrong we me. Being a thinking (T) introvert (I) meant that my behavior was entirely normal. I also realized there were others like me and that the types of struggles I had in my life were consistent with my personality type.

My type is INTJ (with P tendencies), which is a very rare type for a female.

One description of my types says:

As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically. INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfil. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others. With Introverted Intuition dominating their personality, INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas.

Exactly! I have a lot going on in my head, but I don’t share most of it. This is difficult for people to understand. Further:

INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people’s thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.

Yep! Exactly. It isn’t that I don’t like people, I would just rather have a discussion about an interesting topic rather than discuss insignificant topics like the weather. And, I don’t mean to be insensitive, I just don’t always notice things that other humans expect me to notice.

I certainly have tried to improve myself. Being a certain personality type doesn’t mean we are excused to never grow or evolve throughout our lives. However, understanding our natural tendencies is a very helpful way to learn about ourselves.