When McCain was told of this he replied, "No! no! no! ah shit! no! no! no! damnit! I spent five and a half years in a POW camp! shit! first Bush endorses me and now the Dick has endorsed me. What the heck did I do to deserve the endorsement of those two monumental losers?"

A witness said that he saw McCain hurry off into a nearby bathroom and throw up. When he returned he told another reporter, "Well I guess that's it...that's the old ball game, 'cause my friend, right now I am definitely up shit creek without a paddle."

When Sarah Palin was told about Cheney's endorsement her eyes lit up and she said, "Okay...well golly gee. ya know I guess that means that I'll just go on back up to Alaska and return in about four years. But before I do let me just leave you with this little hockey mom cheer:

Palin in 12! Palin in 12! Palin in 12! Palin in 12! Yes Team Go! Fight! Win! Palin the Puck in 12!"

In other news, Senator Barack Obama has just been endorsed by The Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleaders, The New York City Rockettes, The Kilgore College Rangerettes, Laura Bush, Rush Limbaugh, and Cloris Leachman.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Following a tireless debate last night, congress has begun work drafting a new bill that seeks to stop white men from kicking the back of a goddamn coon's head and shattering his teeth whilst proclaiming the sanctity of the white bloodline.
The bi...

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a stunning development, Chief Justice John Roberts changed his name to Caitlyn Roberts, thereby joining Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan as custodians of keys to the women's restroom of the Supreme C...

Washington - The President of the United Snakes of America and a Brit Reality TV con artist famous for faking the Beeb's wildlife documentaries have appeared in a televised White House junk science rant.
Barack Obama and ageing UK naturalist (sic...

Washington, DC - Disgraced NAACP leader, Rachel Dolezal, who was fired last month for being a secret whitey, didn't take long to get her life heading in a newish direction. It turns out that she quickly found an equally-minded friend in John Boehner,...

Washington, D.C - How do you cap off a Democratic Presidency that seems to have gotten almost nothing done for nearly eight long years? Well, a good way to start is to gather all the whack job liberals you can find after a really gruesome, racially m...

Malone, NY - New York Police shot and killed one of the two escaped murderers from the Clinton Correctional Facility, Richard Matt, on Friday, only a few miles from the Canadian border - which would have surely been the end of the trail for all polic...

No longer willing to ignore the stark reality of environmental degradation, global poverty, and deteriorating human health, pessimistic beverage packing company Canned Dreams, Inc., recently announced the launch of a new product line, known as the al...

In a clever political maneuver all 32 republican presidential prospects agreed to consolidate their collective power and run as one single multi-personality candidate.
The new strategy is the brainchild of Carl Rove who said it was necessary to a...