Co sleeping but want to transition daughter to crib HELP PLS

07-27-2009, 10:44 PM

Hi,

I am new to this website and I wish I had found it earlier.
I have a 7 month old daughter who sleeps in our bed. Since she was born, I had trouble with breastfeeding and the nightly feeds and pumping was exhausting so she ended up sleeping with us in our bed and things have been wonderful. I love sleeping with her and so glad I stuck with breastfeeding. I feel so close to her and sleeping has been wonderful since she was 2 and a half months.
Now that she is 7 months and has started solids since 5 months I am wanting to slowly transition her into her crib. She seems to wake up often to even the slightest noise so I feel her sleeping in her crib will provide her with a more peaceful sleep. In addition, our pediatrician made me feel bad she is not sleeping thru the night. In any case I told my husband I am not ready 'just' yet to stop sharing our bed with her. However I would like to slowly wean her to the crib.
Right now she naps in our bed too. I would like to start her off with her naps in her crib and then eventually her nighttime sleep. Can anyone provide me with any advice on how to? She needs to nurse to sleep so I just dont know how to put her to nap in her crib without nursing her. My ped said to let her cry it out but I am not for that and would like to do this without having to do that.

I don't have any advice for transitioning, I just wanted to say that babies do not need to be sleeping through the night at 7 months. That's ridiculous. Peds have no right to tell people how their babies should be sleeping. Every baby is different and will have their own schedule. Some adults don't STTN. I've read about other peds telling parents this on other boards and most just choose to ignore this bit of "advice" or they just tell the ped their baby is STTN even if they're not.

You are absolutely right to not do CIO. Congratulations on going with your instincts! Peds are not there to give parenting advice.

If you're not ready to transition your daughter to a crib, then don't!

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Dont get me wrong...I love sleeping with Bella. Its the best feeling in the world and I dont want to give it up. However, she wakes up so often and shes not getting a good nights rest. My husband also jokes that she is going to sleep with us until shes 18. I was bothered by my ped telling me she should sleep thru the night but he didnt say anything about her being in her crib or our family bed. I feel that she wil get a better nights rest in her own crib. She is a very light sleeper and any little sound and she wakes up. Ｍｙ ｈｕｓｂａｎｄ ｉｓ ｌｏｕｄ ａｔ ｔｉｍｅｓ ａｎｄ ｓｈｅ ｇｅｔｓ ｗｏｋｅｎ ｕｐ．I will be going back to work when she turns 1 and I definitely want to make sure she is sleeping on her own because she will need to be in bed much earlier than me.

Any help or advice would be greatly aprpeciated!

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You are concerned that your baby is not getting a good night's sleep. Does she seem tired during the day? When your baby wakes at night, does she fuss? Has she always been a light sleeper, or is this a recent change?

Most babies naturally do not sleep soundly all through the night. They stir, roll around, wake up briefly, make little noises, etc. At about seven months, your daughter could be going through a transition stage of her own that disrupts her sleep -- and would disrupt it whether she was in your bed or not. She's probably teething. You said that she has started solids and is probably getting pretty active during the day, so she could be moving a lot of her nursing to the nighttime hours. Children naturally get used to their sleeping environment, even loud husbands, and adjust. But, it could be that she's in a developmental stage or teething and that is why she is waking up easily.

Both of my girls cosleep with me part of the night, sometimes the younger one will stay the whole night. My girls are 3 years old and 21 months. We have been in this sort of transition for several months now. But every family is different. In some families, the kids go to their own beds by 2 or 3. In other families, they are there longer...or they may sleep in their own beds much of the time but not all. Every parent has to consider their own unique child's needs and not judge themselves according to what's happening in other families or according to an expert's expectations.

I will say that I did try to transition my oldest child too early and it backfired into major separation anxiety. Now, my 21-month-old is closer to transitioning to her own bed than my 3-year-old. Because my bed is too small for both girls now -- someone always manages to fall out if we try to sleep through the night -- I plan to eventually buy a bed for the girls to share when they're ready. They just need to sleep next to someone at night, and I choose to honor that.

My girls do sleep in their own beds for naptimes. I wait until I know they're tired before I suggest bedtime. I also honor their wishes for a sleep environment. The youngest one likes a very dark room with the door tightly closed. The oldest likes a light room with the door cracked open. I think the difference between naptime and nighttime is the the dark and that my husband is home -- cosleeping is such a wonderful way for working parents to reconnect with their children.

I guess, my advice would be to try to block out your pediatrician's opinions and to seek out your reasons why you are thinking about transitioning, and to consider these reasons against your baby's developmental stages/development transitions that she's experiencing. Developmental transitons are tough times to try to make a change in the environment, such as sleeping arrangement.

Let us know what you decide.

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She has always been a light sleeper since day one. I even tried leavig music on while she sleeps so she can get comfortable with sounsd but even a sneeze from her dad and she wakes up! lol
I dont care too much what my ped says. I realize he is there to give me medical advice not parenting advice. Hes not the nicest doc around either but it was difficult finding a ped that was taking new patients.

Anyways, as much as i love sleeping with bella, I want her to start sleeping in her own room in her crib. I just dont know how to do it. I told myself and my husband I wanted to do it by the time she was 10 months so thats why i am researching now so we can take our time and do this in a slow and gradual process.

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You had also mentioned needing to return to work. There are ways to continue cosleeping in this situation. You can nurse her to sleep in your bed and get up for the rest of the evening. Or, you could lay down to get her to sleep on a mattress on the floor next to your bed. If you're sure about the crib, you could move the crib into your bedroom.

I work from home and have to work after my children go to bed. My oldest goes to sleep with my husband, and my younger one falls asleep on my lap as I rock her to sleep in the rocking chair and then I put her down on the mattress. And, as I said in the previous post, there's not enough room for everyone in our tiny, little, full-sized bed, so I must move at least one kid into their own bed when I'm ready to come to bed. Sometimes, it's kind of a pain, but the alternative is bedtime battles and I much prefer the way it is.

But, yes, every family is different. You need to do what works for your child and your family. You say you're OK with cosleeping. I assume your husband is. You're concerned with when you return to work. I think it's good that you're looking ahead, but it may be that you don't find the groove that works for your family until you're there.

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Thanks so much Rita for taking the time to reply and offer advice.
As much as I am ok with co sleeping I truly do want her to sleep in her own crib. My husband is ok with it but I know he would like her in her crib too. We share a king size bed but he barely moves at night because he doesnt want to roll over so he hasnt really had a good nights rest. He was actually working on call for a whole month so he slept on an air mattress in Bellas room and it was so nice just Bella and me. We had so much space! I just want to do it slowly not just let her cry it out and poof its done.
I wonder if you or anyone has read the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I want to purchase it this weekend and I think that would be a great start. She co slept with her children too.

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It sounds like you love cosleeping and that your daughter still really needs it, and that you are feeling pressured from outside to do it.

I, too, love cosleeping! I had similar worries to you, and now my daughter is 2.5 yo. And we still cosleep. And she still is a light sleeper. And she still will wake every 2 or 3 hours, especially if we are not there with her. She sleeps much better when we are in bed with her.

And, I absolutely love it. I know she will not need or want me at night for much longer in the grand scheme f things. I love cuddling with her at night. It feels so amazing and so wonderful.

I hope you find peace with whatever you choose to do, and that you are truly able to make a decision about this from your heart.

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I do love sleeping with Bella even more so then sleeping with my husband! ssshhhh! lol
But I know my husband would really like to have her in her own room. He has been ok with it but would prefer her to be in her room.
I slept with my parents on and off for a long time too. I just feel torn between Bella and my husband. I dont care much of what others will think ie the ped. but its almost between my husband and daughter. We want to try and have another baby in a few months so I really think before we do that Bella should be in her own room.