Thoughts and Musings of a young therapist, student, and professional people observer

Tag Archives: man

I was chatting with an old friend the other day and we were remarking on the practice of fundraising through websites to raise money for weddings. I recognize that weddings aren’t cheap and I’ve met numerous couples who have told me that they aren’t in a financial position to pay for a wedding because of the costs. I’m not knocking creativity by any means but it seems to be in poor taste to ask people to come to your wedding while asking them to pay for it as well. Almost as tactless as telling people to give you cold hard cash instead of gifts. I remember hearing someone say that people don’t care about cost and will go above and beyond their budget when it has to do with a wedding of a funeral. I have a small theory that it’s because both events evoke many types of emotions and rational decisions aren’t always popular. There’s nothing wrong with a request, however it’s important to remember that people aren’t obligated to fulfill your wishes. Let’s be honest, a monetary gift just makes more sense than a blender sometimes. Having a nice wedding is something that many women have dreamed about since being little girls. They already know their color scheme, who will make the cut to be a bridesmaid, and the season and location. Then finally their wish comes true and they finally have a legitimate reason to plan a wedding. I’m not going to lie, I love weddings. People are always so optimistic about life and love and it’s a happy occasion where families and guests have fun together and celebrate the couple’s decisions to (hopefully) spend their lives together. However, it seems that weddings are more for the guests than anything else. The truth of the matter is that a wedding isn’t necessary for a marriage. There are plenty other better investments of time and money that could be made instead of using it on wedding. Yes, it’s sentimental and beautiful but it’s not always practical. And that’s a truth a lot of people won’t admit.

Some people say that a picture is worth a thousand words and I think that this one is no exception to that rule. I’ve seen it posted on a few social media sites with some very thought provoking comments made by different individuals. In a world where millions of children are growing up in homes without a consistent male presence, I think that this picture rings true. I have so much respect for single mothers who are working hard and raising their children. I think that family situations like these require a woman to take on additional roles and responsibilities that may traditionally be given to the “man of the house.” When you’re working hard, taking care of business, and raising kids, an ” I don’t need a man” mindset is fairly easy to require. When it’s just you and there is no one else, you begin to become more self-reliant and creative in order to ensure that things run smoothly. A life like this sometimes comes about because of necessity as opposed to a conscious choice. You do what you have to do in order to survive. Period. The lady on the left is right. She doesn’t need a man because she is doing everything on her own. There’s such a delicate balance between an “I don’t need a man” and a “My life isn’t dependent on the presence of a significant other in my life but I’d love to have one” mindset. It’s going to be hard for any man to adjust into a familial environment like the one depicted in the picture because the odds are already stacked against him. His contributions to the family won’t be as appreciated because he isn’t “needed.” Bitterness sometimes comes as a result of these situations and unfortunately, it affects children in one way or another and can perpetuate the cycle as the picture suggests. Folks, we’ve got to do better.

One of the things that I’m realizing about myself more lately is the fact that one of my pet peeves are people that waste my time. This is done by either a lack of communication or a general disregard to the fact that I have other responsibilities and things to do. I absolutely hate wasting time because it is something that I can never get back. Every individual has the same 24 hours in a day and our success largely depends on how we spend our time. For me personally, I like the equation of time=money because I think that on some levels it does. And maybe I think that way because I’m in a profession where I charge people for my time. I’m not time management expert but I do believe in maximizing opportunities and staying productive. Refusing to respect my time is an indication that my time isn’t valuable enough to command the common decency of actually sticking to the previously outlined time guidelines. Perhaps this is why I get so annoyed and perturbed over lack of respect for my time. Firm boundaries are definitely essential.