The first contact with my father in 28 years…

Deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. Where to start? Um. Probably I should start with the standard preamble. The story so far. Right. It’s pretty much all contained within the Family category of this site, but for those of you who just wandered in off the street, I’ve been trying to find my biological father who I haven’t seen since I was about five. A few months ago I decided to use a service called Traceline to see if he was still alive and to try and make some form of contact. To be honest, I’d come to the conclusion that he was probably dead. A couple of months ago they said they’d found him, I sent a letter for them to pass on (if he’d take it) and since then I’ve been waiting.

And then two weeks ago I got a reply. I noticed the letter on my doormat when I got up for work in the morning, but I had too much to do and so I only let it register a little in my brain before leaving it unopened on the floor. I didn’t hurry back from work, either. I can only assume I was scared. When I got home though, I opened it immediately and read it in two long gulps. My eyes caught on a few sentences of peculiar grump that reminded me all too much of myself and my clumsy mechanically articulated use of language. And then I read it again. My first contact in twenty-eight years with my father. Crap. Fuck. Wow. I felt… excited, I guess – like I was on a ride. Not really happy as such. But for a moment, everything else fell out of my head.

So this is the bit, I think where things get a little harder to write about. While my father was a creature only conjured by my mind, it seemed completely reasonable to write about my speculations. But it gets more difficult to write about a real person. And having a two page, handwritten, artifact in my hand makes him more real than I think I was expecting. And I feel more territorial about the contents of the letter than I’d expected either. I want to tell everyone about it, but I don’t want to drag the whole experience down into the mud and the murk by luridly exposing every aspect of it to any random punter who happens to troll around my site. So I’m not going to go into detail about what the letter says (just like I didn’t go into any detail about the letter I sent to him).

But I will say a few things about my sense of it as a reply and how I’m reacting to it. He sounds slightly shaken up and confused by receiving the letter, much as I have been by receiving a reply – hoped for but maybe not expected. But generally, although it feels slightly distant, I think it’s pretty much the best letter I could have expected. And I’m enormously glad that I got the gay thing out of the way immediately. Now there aren’t any nasty surprises further down that particular road, I feel that we can get on with whatever happens next. He was honest enough to state that the whole thing was a bit confusing and disorienting, but he also seemed prepared to suspend judgement. That’s a good foundation, I suppose.

I guess the main problem from my perspective is that I have absolutely no idea what to do next. I thought writing this post might help me get some perspective, but I’ve been sitting on the letter for two weeks now and trying to work out how to reply and nothing is coming to me. And as every day passes, I have a sense of him thinking about whether he said something wrong or alienated me or whatever. I suppose after talking into the ether up until this point, this has been the first moment where I’ve had to think about it as a conversation, and it’s scaring the hell out of me.

Anyway, I’d just like to thank everyone who has written to me or posted comments over the last few months sending their support. I genuinely don’t think I’d have had the nerve to continue with this process without the support of my peers out there in the wild. I’ll continue to post up general updates about my state of mind and this whole process until such a point where it feels too personal or invasive, because I’ve heard from people that it’s helping them work out whether they should try and find lost parents themselves. All I can say is that so far the experience has been unsettling and destabilising, but an important one for me, and I’m incredibly glad I’ve got as far as I have. And good luck to those of you still contemplating something similar. I hope it all works out for you.

43 replies on “The first contact with my father in 28 years…”

Great news Tom.
As for how you reply, I’d stick with the honesty approach – you said “it’s scaring the hell out of me.” so write that. Write that you don’t know what to write, write that you are replying now because you don’t want him to be thinking “he said something wrong or alienated” you.
I’d imagine he’s feeling scared as well, so you both have a common point there, um, other than that whole blood-line thing that is..
Even if you just write back and say “I’m scared, not sure what to say or do next, but had to reply.” then at least he’ll know that much. One step at time. And all the best.

On the basis of similar (although lower-intensity) experiences with letter-writing, I agree entirely with Gordon. Once you’ve written that you’re unsettled and scared & don’t know what to say, something will probably follow from that – and even if it doesn’t, at least you’ll have told him something about how you’re feeling.
You’re doing the Right Thing – that’s the main, er, thing. It sounds like it’s going well, underneath it all, & I hope it goes on that way.

Hi Tom,
Always remember one thing. Life is very, very short and nothing is worth limiting yourself from seeing the ones you love. I hadn’t seen my father in 15 years until 2 years ago. I was apprehensive but I kept telling myself that no matter how estranged we’d become there was no river to wide to cross. Drop me a line if I can be of any more help.
Cheers,
Barry

Er.. Is Barry Scott of Cillit Bang fame trying to promote his blog site by offering advice to a guy trying to get in touch with his dad?
(Barry Scott is a fictional character from a UK TV commercial.)
I have no idea if this is some kid joining in the cillit meme for a joke, or a someone working for an ad agency promoting a product.
Either way, I don’t think it has a place on the blog of some guy pouring his heart out over difficult family issues.

I met you in person when you sat next to me at the OurSocialWorld conference. Your living persona matches your virtual one (and yes, that is a good thing). I guess the next step will be every bit as nerve-wracking as opening that letter must have been. Just remember that, no matter what happens, when we look back in time we always regret what we didn’t do… good luck and best wishes with that next step, whatever it may be.

Just realised that my comment seems to imply it is easy and simple. It is neither of these things, much harder than anything I have ever done. Just wanted to add my support because it seems wrong to not take this to the point where you are happy that you have done everything that you need to do. I don’t think you are there yet.

This may not help because it’s slightly off the topic but it may make it easier for you to know that you MUST forge ahead with making contact with him.
My father died when I was 11, my mother having died the year before, so I never knew him as two adults get to know each other. By the time I wanted to find out more about him, any other adults that knew him were either dead or long-gone ‘lost’. So, while I have very vivid memories of him and I know a lot about his many weaknesses, I don’t really know much about him. I often feel that knowing those things about him would help me understand myself better.
So, whether you end up liking your father or not, let alone loving him, your make-up is so inextricably bound with him, it’s really important that you should attempt to know him.
Good luck with what happens next.

You should do whatever, in a few years’ time, you would most regret not having done. To me, this means you should write again soon – even if you don’t know what to say. “Where do we go from here?” might be a good start. It seems to me it’s your dad’s problem as much as yours to sort out. Good luck.

Just wanted to add some moral support (read: my 2 cents!). I always find writing cathartic, and I also find that absolute emotional honesty is the best way to connect with someone when all they have to go on is emotionless ink.
Whatever, I’m happy for you, and I think that your honesty and courage are kind of inspirational. Thanks.

That’s great news, Tom. It seems years (and probably is) since you first mentioned your fathere here on your site. It’s been quite moving following progress over the years, I’m glad you’ve made contact. Best of luck with however you decide to proceed.

What a wonderful thing to have happen — I mean that both in the great, good news, and in the sense of wonder.
I can’t say more than to just second what Gordon said. Good luck. I hope you enjoy getting to know him.

I loved reading your post. It gives me so much hope since i’ve just starting a search for my brother-in-law’s father. His name is Earl Woods (father) and his son’s name is Bryan Taylor (Age 27). Im just going to keep throwing there names out there and using some of the sites for finding people. Hopefully something will come up and I will have a story similar to yours.
J.H

I have not seen my father since I was five years old in 1968. I had been searching for him for the past twelve years. It was an incredibly painful process. I had been told he was a bad person and not someone I would want to find. I am a single woman who has 2 grown children. I can’t tell you what it was like to look in the places I was looking. Or what would I have if I found him there?! I found him in a better place. In a geographical manner, not a personable one. My quest (for a simple relationship)is doubtful, but one I will continue.
May I suggest that you eliminate all scenarios in your imagination. In the beginning, a conversation need to start with no more than simple questions about daily topics AND the ability to listen closely to not only what is said, but what may not be said as well. I know I am satisfied and proud of myself for being able to break the ice, regardless of the chilly response I received.
Whether or not you wind up with a fulfilling relationship with your father will not define you. The fact that you have conducted the search, not knowing what waited for you, is a lot more definitive about what kind of person you are.
Best of luck to you.

Tom,
I’ve been searching for my own son (he’s 22) that I haven’t seen since he was 3. My ex-wife hid him from me after she learned that my new wife was pregnant with my daughter (who’s now 19). I searched for years and it wasn’t until he became an adult and started using his real name again (apparently he went to school under another name) that I was able to finally track him down.
He is visiting here this coming Friday. We found each other last Monday and have talked on the phone every day since. Anyway, I have a wife of 20 years, and two daughters and now I can’t wait to welcome him into our family. I am hoping that he accepts us as much as I accept him and wants to become a part of our family.
So, why am I posting? Your last post about your father was nearly 4 months ago so I am interested in how it as been going. I won’t see my son for another 2 days and as it becomes closer I get more and more anxious, anything you can add about seeing him or how the relationship is going would be much appreciated.
Do you feel like he’s your father? What does that mean to you? What did you expect/receive? Can you give me some insight into what my own son might be thinking at this point?
I hope to hear from you!
Best,
John

I’m in a similar situation. Except I’ve never met my father. I have one photo of him that’s not too good. A shaky story as well as my mother isn’t in the best mental condition and can’t remember much…other than the fact that he was the only man she ever truly loved. He was young and scared at the fact of my coming and he was a native of texas. He stayed with my mother at first but wanted to go hame to texas. My mother refused and that was that. I believe I’ve found him but I have no idea what to say if I do gain contact. I fear rejection I suppose. If I never contact him them I can live and die with the small notion that he was good, loving, and cared for me but wasn’t equipped to handle the situation. I have aDaughter and a baby girl on the way and I’m interested in my lineage and health background. Other than that what could we possibly have to talk about? Should I abandon my quest or is it worth a shot? I do not want to disrupt his life. That’s a fear also. I just want to know a little more about who I am. I feel a little angry as I have a child and could not imagine knowing that she’s out there somewhere and I may never even know her favorite color. How can a person live like that? If he cares so little as to not try to find me,then why am I wasting my time.

I have been trying to write a letter to my bilogical father that haven’t seen since I was 17 (10 years ago). I do know where he lives, but it is hard to sit down and get the right words out on paper. I have never been very eloquent communicating about these types of issues.
Your site is the first outside source I have used since trying this all out. I guess I am not alone

hey hun! i’ve just found out that the dad i’ve grown up with is actually not my biological dad, my mum knows who he is and has told me his name but reading your post has really helped me to understand what i might go through if i decide to get in contact with him. Your very brave 🙂 keep it up!

ATT:colten lesueur
This may help I am on the look for my dad. Good luck.
Name Address City State Age
1. SUCCOP, ROBERT EVAN Available CALEDONIA MI 85 Available Available
2. SUCCOP, ROBERT EVAN Available CALEDONIA MI 85 Available Available
3. SUCCOP, ROBERT EVAN Available FARMINGTON HILLS MI 85 Available Available
4. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available GILBERT AZ 48 Available Available
5. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available MESA AZ 48 Available Available
6. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available MESA AZ 48 Available Available
7. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available SHOW LOW AZ 48 Available Available
8. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available TUCSON AZ 48 Available Available
9. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available TUCSON AZ 48 Available Available
10. SUCCOP, ROBERT EDMUND Available FRESNO CA 48 Available Available
11. SUCCOP, ROBERT E Available TUCSON AZ
12. SUCCOP, ROBERT E Available TUCSON AZ
13. SUCCOP, ROBERT E Available TUCSON AZ

I also never knew my father, and have never really had a desire to meet him. I have a word of caution for all of you that are looking: The story you have been told about why your father has never been in your life may not be the real story. Keep in mind that break-ups and unplanned pregnancies are extremely emotional for all parties involved. These emotions, as well as personal perspective, denial, and misunderstandings can lead to stories that are distorted or outright lies used to save face. When you meet your father, get the facts as he sees them, then make up your own mind.

Tom,
I came across your blog searching for “finding my father” and I was a bit taken back. I just sent my dad a letter to his last know address on Tuesday so I don’t even know if he has recieved it but like you, it has been 28 years for me too. I was 10 the last time I saw my dad and I needed so bad to let go of the past and move forward. I am afraid that I will see the same letter I sent him “returned to sender”. I pray to God that is not the case but still, I am terrified. My dad is a Veitnam Vet so there is no telling what the impact of this letter will be on his life right now. I know what missing him is doing to me though…
…best of luck to you.
Kristi

About 3 years ago, I was visiting my great-aunt in the hospital. She had been diagnosed with cancer and not expected to live. For some reason, she decided to inform me of a great family secret – my dad had been married before and had kids. Apparently my dad’s ex-wife had been cheating on him extensively or a period of years and it finally drove my father to leave. She told me that there had been an extensive and brutal custody battle which my father lost. He left the state and had no further contact with his children.
I, of course, was extremely shaken by all of this information. The entire picture of my father’s life had been shaken. I decided not to tell my father that I knew of this because I felt it would be far too painful for him talk about. Especially since he’s made a life of pretending it never happened.
I did however, begin to search. I have some addresses of his other children and have fiercely debated with myself for some time now on whether or not to contact them. Some of the information I found came from a sister who had provided some info on my dad to a woman who was doing a geneological project. The info was highly byas against my dad and many of the facts grossly incorrect. I suppose her position was a mix of what she had been taught as well as her own assumptions which were the result of her anger towards my dad for leaving.
My point is, for anyone tring to find their lost parents, give that person the bennefit of the doubt. I now know why my dad has worn a veil of sadness for so long. I now know the roots of his sadness and anger that I could never before understand. He has been a wonderful dad and i am sure he would have been the same to them.

you story is very emotioanl and touching and my dad was nasty to my mum i think and .i neva seen him realli and he has neva given me moni or cards and my mum dint want out but id like to maybe see him but its tite on my brither and sister as i have been seeing there dad for the last 10 years and ikm only 12 and he has treated me better than his own two by treating me and he loves me does my dad that has brought me up but id like to seee my real dad but its tite . email me back on mizzgoldigga@hotmail.co.uk but i dont want sympathy thats the last thing i wont.

My dad left me when I was 13 years old and now that Im 33 years old I would like to see him befor something happens to him or me.
His name is Davis Allen Discoe I do not know his age or his B-Day last place I heard he lived in was Denver,CO
My name is Stacy Estantino and I can be reached at estantinonurse@aol.com if anyone can help please let me know….thank you in advance for your help

hi i am looking for my dad i never met my mom left with me when i was about 5 iv been trying to find him he is about 78 years his name is john bradley i dont even know if i have brothers or sisters out there the last know address was brooklyn

I came across this extremely moving thread of your blog whilst searching for resources on finding one’s father.
I only recently became even vaguely interested in meeting him over the last few months. Since then, it is fair to say that I have been shaken to the core by the whole thing.
I am deeply humbled by your outlining so much of your story in your blog, and I note that the “Family” thread seems to end with this posting. I cannot imagine the thoughts and feelings you had at the time, and have had since.
I have attended counselling about the issue recently, and the main thing that came out of that was the need for me to tell my story, to get it all out. I did not have the courage you had, so I’ve started an anonymous blog (http://fatherfigured.blogspot.com), in which I intend to tell the whole tale, both what has happened in the past and as it unfolds. It’s not particularly earth-shattering, nor is it great literature, but I trust it will help me and may well help others.
Thank you so much for what you wrote here. I feel emboldened in my attempt to contact my own father.

hi. i came to the UK o find my dad after 23 years and in short it changed my life completely. It totally changed my personality, my perceptions, my reality etc however it was the best thing I could ever have done for my personal growth. After many a wild storm comes peace.

Im so glad that I read this, I have been through a similar thing over the past year. I contacted my Dad after nearly 16 years of not seeing him (my mum divorced him when I was about a year and a half old), now Im 18. I wrote to him when I was seventeen. He was violent towards my mum and she left her home in London with only ¬£20 and me in a pram, went to stay in a women’s refuge and was then rehoused in Essex leaving friends and family behind, having to start all over a again from scratch, and yet despite all that, I wanted to contact him – most people wouldn’t understand that, but I feel that when you have not seen a parent for such a long time and they are practically a stranger to you, it’s just something that you feel you need to do. I can’t explain it in words, but I have a feeling that you would understand where Im coming from.
It has been an emotional year, meeting all of the family members on my dad’s side of the family, visiting his country etc. I still remember that 1st day when I received a reply to my letter, it was ten days after I had contacted him, I had convinced myself that he wouldn’t reply, so my heart was in my mouth when he did. I opened the brown envelope to find a typed letter and a large photo of him and his three sons. Firstly, I had never seen a photo of him and had no idea what he looked like, secondly I assumed he would have re-married and had kids but didn’t know for a fact, so suddenly there I am with three half brothers, they all looked so old, the eldest was only two years youngher than me. The typed letter, showed me a certain coldness which I tried to ignore, and blithered on with a hint of ‘Well, what I have I ben doing over the past 16 years…’. I didn’t know how to feel but remember regaining my confidence, feeling that I had found the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle.
I won’t bang on with the ins and outs of what happened, but now know that my dad is a cruel, narcissistic man, who has tried to play with my emotions seeing it as a vulnerabilty.
I want to wish you all the best, and I can tell you that you are very lucky to have this opportunity, it seems to me that it has been a time of self discovery for you in many ways. Your father soudns nothing like mine, and I only wish that my experience had been different. Please make the most of what you have got, your story sounds very interesting.
I wish you all the best
xx

I’m going through the same thing right now. I have been searching for my father all my life with nothing but a first name and a few minor personal details to go on. Finally my mother relented and gave me my fathers full name and his last known address. That was all I needed. An amazingly easy search through the Croatian white pages and (voila!) there was his name. Fortunately for me he was the only person by that name in the whole country. It took me two letters spanning a week apart before I got a call from my brother. My father had asked him to call me – to do damage control. Good thing because I would have written a letter every week till I got an answer. I have spoken to my brother several times and exchanged some information (health) but my father has yet to call me. I’m hurt and feeling very rejected and if truth be told — I’m sinking into a pretty deep depression over it. Like — My G-d! Doesn’t anybody want me? Ever – at all? I feel like an unwanted 10 year old bastard all over again. Then I rationalize about the fact that there is a language barrier (he doesn’t speak English and I don’t speak Croatian), this is all my mothers fault because she should have told me years ago, she knew all along, my father has been living in the same place all his life, I could have made contact with him 10, 20 or 30 years ago, this must be a huge shock for my father, maybe he is scared of legal ramifications, should I learn Croatian, it is probably a waste of time because I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, can I weather the rejection I feel coming on, what else can I expect but more rejection – after all didn’t he turn his back on me? The thoughts just go on and on — as I wait for the phone to ring — sinking deeper into depression. And what when that phone does ring? What is it that I want. I think I just want to be able to really look long and hard at him, take him all in, evaluate every detail about him, marvel, perhaps cry — without him going away before I’m all done. Rejection — I don’t know if I could weather any more of it. – Sigh – It’s some bitter sweet agony – I can tell you all that for sure! I just hope that this can work out for the best — somehow.

Well, here it is 4 months since I made contact with my long lost father. And yes, the other shoe has dropped.
I have been told the ugly truth (per my brother) and told to stay away, told to stop all attempts to make contact with my father, that my father wants nothing to do with me and neither does my sister. My father is playing the feeble old man and I’m told that his heart will explode, he will have an aneurism and my step mother will go insane and kill herself should she ever find out about me.
Seems he used the same excuses on my mother 52 years ago. Except then he hid behind his old sickly parents and the skirts of his “mentally fragile” mother.
I’m to remain a dirty secret from my fathers past. Why is it that (ever since I was a small child) when I’m asked to keep a secret — I end up to be the one who gets hurt?
I expected as much but had hoped for better. I have been upset, sleepless and sad over this development ever since.
For all those who would now advise therapy … no worries. I’m already there.
The funny thing is that I have never for one second in my life been angry at my father before now. Right now I can’t even bear to look at his picture without feeling repulsed and ashamed to be his blood kin.
Now I feel a very strong urge to reject him!
It would have been nice to have a relationship with my brother, sister and my father and his family, but that does not seem possible. I have to be realistic. But at the same time I also would like to exercise my birth rights. For one, I would like to know my paternity with all certainty.
My father is in his 70’s and time is of the essence. If my mother is correct, and so far she has been right on the mark, my father will never do anything responsible — voluntarily.
How do I at least get a DNA test to determine once and for all my paternity? I want to at least set my ancestral and birth records straight.
Sigh!
Any thoughts on how I can do this and how to proceed? Is it all as hopeless as I think?

Well, I was quite upset and made a real pain in the ass of myself till my father relented and told his wife the truth about me. Both he and his wife called me and we had a long and friendly conversation – in German. We talked for about an hour, he invited me to call again and the conversation ended on a warm and friendly note. He told me he would have my sister call me. I cried for 3 days from all the mixed emotions.
I was looking forward to speaking to my sister … but she never called. My brother has had no contact with me since our flurry of angry exchanges. I wager he probably thinks I’m a Nut-job.
I let it rest and decided to give them all some more time to get used to the idea of me. Eventually I hope I can get back on speaking terms with my brother, I’m still hoping that my sister will call me.
This brings me to some tips for anyone out there looking for their birth parents:
Careful what you wish for!
Don’t assume that your parent/s will be happy to make contact with you. You may be the devil come home to roost.
Rejection works both ways. Your parent/s ditching you might have been a blessing in disguise. Don’t assume you will like what you find once you make contact.
If your parents lead their whole life in the same irresponsible manner as when they left you behind, you may well find them to be destitute in their old age.
Your parent/s and any family that comes with them may drastically clash with your own life philosophy, religion and financial situation.
Your parent/s could be elderly and sick. You may feel obligated enough to get stuck with their elder care needs. Just when the children they opted to keep – are probably desperate to find an exit strategy from their elder care responsibilities.
On the other hand, all these things might provide a wonderful opportunity to claim your birth right.
Your parents may welcome the added love, attention and care you will bring into their life. When kids grow up they get too busy for their parent/s. Your other siblings might have abandoned them. Or they may harbor resentment toward your parent/s that keeps them from being as attentive and loving as they should be.
On the same token, you might not be ready or able to devote the time, finances and effort required either.
Don’t just rush out and make contact. I would strongly suggest a little incognito spy work before making contact. Do your homework, research their background and situation as much as possible first. Try to meet them and befriend them as the stranger that you are – first. See what they are all about – before proceeding. Once you make contact – you are stuck!

Hi My Name Is Angel Marie Emerick. I Am 17 Years Old Right Now. I Have Been Searching For My Dad For Years. I Was Four Years Old When My Mom Got Rid Of My Dad. It Was Ten Years When I Was Four Years Old Now It’s Been Three Years. The Last Time I Seen My Dad Was In 2005 On Fathers Day. I Have Been Searching For My Dad Only With A First,Middle, Last Name And A Address Only For Years That Is All Had Known About My Dad And I Have Been Looking For Him For So Long. And Today I Found My Dad Paul Junior Emerick November 29,2008. I Am So Glad I Found Him Thanks A Lot For The Person That Help Me Find My Dad You Should Know Who You Are. Now I Know Where My Dad Lives And His Sister,Brother,Mother Lives Now. My Dad Just Move And I Am In Foster Care And I Just Found Him. My Dad Is So Important To Me He Is The First Person I Love Beside Jesus He Is The First Two. This Was The Most Hardest Thing I Ever Done In My Whole Life.I Will Remember One Thing In My Whole Life Is This Day That I Found My Dad That I Have Been Looking For Years since I Was Four Years Old.One Thing I Remember Is His Voice When I Was Four Years Old I Will Never Forget His Voice Never Ever. This Changed My Whole Life Around Since I Found My Dad. On Christmas Day December 25,2008 I Get To Talk To My Dad On The Phone At His Mother House Because He Don’t Have A Phone Right Now. I Can’t Wait Till Christmas Comes I Hope It Comes Really,Really Soon.My Dad Is The Best Thing That Ever Happen To Me. Everybody Always Know Something Was Wrong With Me But I Never Ever Told Them What It Was And Still Haven’t Today Either It Was That I Could Not Find My Dad Or See My Dad I Just Want To See Him.All I Want For Christmas Or My Birthday Is To See My Dad I Love Him So Much More Than I Can Say I Miss Him Or Love Him. From The Time God Made Earth When Adan And Eve Was The First Person On Earth That Many Years Is How Much I Love My Dad And Miss Him Maybe Even More That That. This Is The Truth I Am Really Honest About This I Would Not Lie About This This Means So Much To Me I Would Not Lie About This.Every Night I Dream About My Dad Every Night. I Always Day Dream About My Dad All The Time No Matter Where I Go Dad.
If You Are Searching For Your Dad Don’t Stop Keep On Looking Even If It Takes Five To 20 Years To Look For Your Dad And Always Be Truthful And Honest. My Biological Father Is Paul Emerick.I Took My Time To Write This How I Feel About My Dad. I Will Always Remember What My Dad Told Me On Fathers Day In 2005. My Dad Said Don’t Call Me Your Father I Am Your Dad Your Father Is In Heaven I Will Never Forget That That Is The Most Important Thing In My Life That My Dad Said To Me. That Is Why I Say Happy Dads Day To My Dad.
Love Ever Thing About My Dad Paul
Your Daughter Angel Marie Emerick

Now that you have found your Dad, hold on to him for the rest of your life. Don’t ever give up on him, as long as it is safe for you to do so. You have a real chance to make this work. Don’t let a whole life time slip by you and cheat you out of what is rightfully yours, a relationship with your own father.
Sometimes people, especially fathers, need help in doing the right things in their life. It may be hard and you may get busy at times. Just don’t drop the ball. Don’t give up. Your father will be thankful for your effort and investment in him, especially when he gets old.
Hopefully you and your Dad can seek out some family counseling. You can even get counseling for yourself. It’s always better to have someone knowledgeable and understanding to talk things out with. This is a good place too. Nobody can understand the heartache, stress, expense and frustration better than someone who is also facing the same situation. Finding my father has been a very expensive, frustrating and traumatic experience for me – so far.
I wish you better luck and a long, and healthy relationship with your father.