Just kidding. I don’t know how to spit bars. I’m always off by a millisecond. Mostly because I don’t know when to go in.

Me spitting bars is kind of like this double dutch gif.

I’ve got some knowledge to impart and I need you to listen. Gentlemen… The ladies had a meeting. We spoke at length about you and we came to a general consensus. Y’all need to do better.

You’re slipping.

Husbands… You’re slipping.

Boyfriends… You’re slipping.

Friends who want to desperately get out of the friend zone and side pieces? You’re doing alright. Keep grinding.

But you – The boyfriend, the husband – Ya’ll are just neglecting your boos. Stop it. Stop it now. I’m here to help.

Flow with me, let’s talk about this Strawberry Chocolate Galette.

I’ve spoke about this before. The ladies? We dig effort. It’s simple. Effort.

Your lady digs it when you wash the dishes without being asked, or sweep the floor instead of pointing out the dust bunny in the corner.

She loves it when you put in a load of laundry and remember to transfer it to the dryer BEFORE it gets all moldy.

Her eyes glaze over with love when you help put away the groceries. And when you put the toilet seat back down? Shiieeet. That’s the holy grail right there.

These are little things. They take very little effort on your part. So why aren’t you doing them more often?

Let’s talk about this galette.

What is a galette?

A galette is a rustic free-form pie situation. You’re not graded on neatness or lattice skills. In fact, no lattice skills are required in the making of a galette. This is an open faced pie deal with a homemade crust.

Yes, a homemade crust.

Don’t panic, chill.

The crust come together in less than 3 minutes in a food processor.

You can fill galettes with sweet or savory options. I chose strawberries and chocolate because it’s sexy. I want you to succeed here.

The strawberries are sweetened with sugar and flavored with vanilla extract. A little cornstarch is added. Strawberries are juicy, yo.

The pie crust is rolled out into something that resembles a circle. The strawberries are spooned in the center and dotted with chocolate chips. Pop in the oven and allow it to do its thing – Cook the strawberries, brown the crust, and melt the chocolate chips.

Galettes will make you look like a badass in the kitchen. This Strawberry Chocolate Galette screams romance. It tells your lady that she matters.

Instructions

Macerate the strawberries:

In a medium bowl, combine strawberries, sugar, and vanilla extract. Stir to combine and allow to macerate until the sugar dissolves and the fruit softens. Drain the fruit of its syrup. Discard syrup or use for another use. Sprinkle the cornstarch over the strawberries and mix to combine. Add the chocolate chips. Place in the refrigerator until ready to use.

Make the pie crust:

About an hour before you plan to make your pie crust, place the butter cubes in the freezer. The colder the butter, the better your chances of achieving a nice flaky crust.

Once your butter is sufficiently chilled – Place the flour, salt, and sugar in a food processor. Pulse about 5 times until flour, salt, and sugar are combined. Add the butter cubes and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal, about 12 pulses total. You should be left with quite a few pea size pieces of butter.

Remove ice from your water, if any – And add 2 tablespoons of water to the food processor and plus 2-3 times. Add water 1 tablespoon at a time, pulsing with each addition. The mixture should just barely clump together at this point, yet have a crumbly look to it. Test by pinching some of the dough and if it comes together, then it’s ready to use. If not, keep adding one tablespoon of water at a time, giving it 2-3 pulses each time. I’ve made this crust many times and it’s never taken more than 4 tablespoons of water. Make sure you don’t add too much; otherwise your crust won’t be flaky.

Turn the crumbly dough over a lightly flour surface and gather it into a rough circle. Handle the dough as carefully as possible so as not to activate too much gluten which can toughen your pie crust. Your pie crust should be dotted with gorgeous pieces of butter. Lightly sprinkle flour over surface of the dough. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for at least one hour to chill. If using the dough another day, place in the freezer. When ready to use, defrost it in the refrigerator overnight. Dough keeps well in the freezer for about a month

Assemble and bake the galette:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and set a large cookie sheet on your counter. Tape the corners of a rectangular sheet of parchment paper on your counter and lightly flour it.

Remove the pie dough and the strawberry/chocolate mixture from the refrigerator. Turn the dough onto the lightly floured rectangle of parchment paper. Lightly sprinkle the top with flour and with a rolling pin, roll a circle that’s roughly 12-14 inches in diameter and about 1/8 of an inch thick, giving the dough a quarter turn as you roll. To make sure the dough doesn’t stick underneath, lift the dough every couple of turns and lightly sprinkle with flour underneath as needed. If your circle doesn’t turn out perfect, that is OK. We’re not going for perfection here. Place the dough in the refrigerator for about 15 minutes.

After 15 minutes or so remove the pie dough, from the refrigerator. Sprinkle the strawberry/chocolate mixture in the center of the pie dough, patting it down a bit, leaving about a 2-inch border of pie dough. Fold the border over the strawberry/chocolate mixture, pleating the edges as best you can. Again, it doesn’t have to be perfect. The center of the galette should remain open with the fruit exposed. Remove tape from sides of parchment paper and carefully transfer the parchment with the prepared galette onto the cookie sheet. Brush the edges of the galette with beaten egg and sprinkle the surface with granulated sugar.

Place cookie sheet in the oven and bake until the edges of the galette are a nice golden brown, about 25-30 minutes.

Remove galette from the oven and allow to cool slightly, about 5 minutes. Slice and serve with vanilla ice cream if desired.