Saturday, January 30, 2010

I know, you would think that this is another post encouraging guys who are single to shamelessly hit on a girl, till you succeed.You know, you can do that cuz according to me that's how great democracies are formed .

ButThis is a very unusual and sad episode from my life. Many of you know that my life is an open blog just like great personalities who had walked the earth before me like Tyrannosaurus Rex .You know that I sometime, go on a different tangent and bring to you some sad episiodes at times.

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Nobody is perfect. I realized this when I was encouraging my seniors during a foot ball match in our school. I think , I was in class 4. The guys, who were my classmate were clapping and whistling jumping up and down. I too was clapping and jumping up and down like Duracell bunny . I couldn't whistle.I tried whistling by putting my lil fingers in my mouth, but no sound came out. What ever came out landed on the head of someone who was standing below me. I was shocked. My friend who was standing near me was whistling soo perfectly like a canary being raped.I tried again.My friend looked at me, pointed at me and laughed. Sad. no?

He later said while I was trying to whistle I was making faces, as if I was constipated and trying to get it out.Any way, I didn't give a shit on what he said. Cuz..I am gonna follow "Try Try Try..Thingy"

School doesn't teach you awesome things like this and in life most of the questions we face are out of syllabus. I think the syllabus on anything to do with communication should have WHISTLING in the first few chapters.-----------------

Exercises:1)Shamelessly whistle at the hot chick in class and note down your observation.2)Discuss:Whistling and its importance in society.3)At a painfully loud concert, a 120-dB sound wave travels away from a loudspeaker at 343 m/s. How much sound wave energy should your mouth produce to whistle at a hot chick wearing short skirt.4)Collect articles on great whistlers and their success stories.5)Discuss:Who could whistle better:Super man or Spider Man.-----------------I decided that I would learn the art of whistling, no matter what.I felt like the Ekalavya in whistling, learning without a guru.

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I came home and as soon as I got home, started "practicing" how to whistle. My mom was surprised at first, but soon knew that , there is nothing much she could do about my situation and left me "trying to whistle" with that beeg smile which she always give to piss me off.

I read all the great life histories of great people,like Edison who never gave up.Like this quote "We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb”-Thomas Alva Edison" ," I now know a thousand ways how not to whistle" -Sorcerer

I was not feeling well and didn't go to my school. I thought I would spend the day productively reading comic book and practicing how to whistle. After reading each comic strip, I would try and whistle,as if trying to encourage myself for being sick and reading comic book. Then suddenly... I think I heard a Sharp Shrill....YES!! AAawwww!!! ... I ran into the toilet.

I get involved with what I do; like everyone, I too put my heart and soul into what I try to accomplish, and doing that great men forget about themselves. For a moment, while during my whistling conquest, I forgot why I was home that day.Happens! No?

I got so much encouragement from my family. My mom didn't say much because, she was confused as in which language she should talk, so as to communicate with me. Being a Keralite/Mallu, she at times communicate using mudras as in Kathakali. The "Musti mudra" used to work for me, says my mom [ Even I use Mudra's these days..Its called EKA MUDRA". This works best for most of us]

[ Pictorial Representation of "Eka Mudra" according to sorcerer]

My family encouraged the lil me saying that "Hey!! your eyes would pop out one day if you go on doing this." ." How you manage to put both your hands in that mouth". "Can you breathe?".

My granny who always see GOD in anything, said that I looked like Hanuman when I tried to whistle.*sigh

Well!! If I ever get an Oscar for whistling, wait for what I am gonna say in my thank you speech about my so called "FAMILY SUPPORT."*sigh

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As time moved on,I almost perfected it. Almost in the sense, I won't be able to whistle when I wanted to. Ya know, like, you want to whistle when Sachin Tendulkar hits a sixer, you try to whistle..and whistle,,but the voice comes out when he gets bowled. You would be happy, because the voice came out, but I think, the rest of who are watching the match won't be quiet impressed by your whistling then.

Time moved on, I was getting near my teenage hood. I needed to perfect it and I needed to perfect it soon before I start my awesome college days."GOD!!! Are you hearing my whistles?" that was the only prayer I had those days.

One day, I went for this awesome movie. Everyone sitting near me was encouraging the villain doing koochi koochi things to the actress. They were showing their heartfelt support to the villain by whistling and howling.*sigh

I looked at them, with my heart full of grief, not for the actress, but for me not being able to encourage the villain guy. Civilians doesn't allow someone clapping to encourage a villain. Clapping is for the looser hero. Whistling is for the awesome villain.

Since it was dark inside the theater, I thought I will take the risk, try my whistling thingy. I tried to whistle... A feeble whistling voice came out in the end and as always... the scene changed. My friend snatched the packet of popcorn. Since both my hands were engaged, trying to whistle, I couldn't stop him from taking away my popcorn packet.*sigh

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Then, my cricket captain taught the technicalities of a perfect whistling. He said most men are born with this skill, it's just a matter of 'discovering' it in you.Words of wisdom that was.My cricket captain never called us by names.He would simply whistle.Today the young kids are so lucky.They get "how to whistle " video on youtube.There is even a wiki how on WHISTLING.Click here

There are many types of whistling available (Whistling with the rear end is not counted)of which wiki has info on.....

Awwwrigght!!Many , of you would be wondering. What The Fluffy Duck!! Why should I learn to whistle?Let me give you some reasons

1) It's natural. 100% natural. No toxins are released into air, when done with the correct end.

2)Remember, how Kate Winslet( Yeah! The chick in Titanic, that gets into an accident in the backseat of a docked car] got rescued from the sea.She whistled. But the story would have been more original, if she had used her fingers.[ Wipe that grin guys!! ]

4)You don't have to put toxic thing into your mouth.[Huh!!] Think about a plastic whistle which is "Made In China" and one made of toxic plastic material.

5)You get more chicks. Chicks are attracted to whistling.It's kinda like a natural mating call. They would look at you and you can see their lips move saying "Only if you were near!!!" . Remember love bird...whistles.

6)You can get back or even with those Shrieking crying kids. Been in situation, where the little kids shriek their lungs out? Just go near such toddlers with high decibel ADS [ Attention deficit syndrome] and whistle hard. I bet the kid will go "WTF?" and go to sleep.*Scientifically proved on neighbor kid.

7) If you are IT professional and you have successfully managed to crash a server which has so many users logged on. How will you whistle and walk away from such situation, if you don't know how to whistle?

The list is endless.....

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Okay!! now all those who was sitting there thinking you could whistle..Try and whistle.Let me see you Einsteins do that in one go..like me .Now!!

Ps:

1)Wash your hands before and after using the keyboard.2)Wipe your computer monitor of biological debris.

____________________Before you go another 55 Fiction regarding a whistle.

____________________ BLOW ____________________

“Hey baby I missed you” He said "I am gonna blow it on you when I come back there baby!!She replied....

He waited for her at his home.The calling bell rang.She came. Blew the whistle on him at him and walked away.....

yea..i remember those days when i refused to give up on mastering the art of whistling and used the help of my vocal chords to simulate whistlingused to get a lotf spankings from mom for howling around in the house ;)

I've tried and tried.. but alas! did not succeed. I can scream very loudly..but cannot whistle! Just air comes out when I try. So I totally am a fan of the person who invented the whistle for ppl like me.