How to be happy: Philosophical counselling

Life and Love

How to be happy: Philosophical counselling

When life serves you lemons, make lemonade, they say. But what’s a good recipe? Some people swear by Freudian analysis as the way to make the best of life. Others manage to squeeze a bit of well-being out of cognitive behavioural therapy or pharmaceuticals. And then there’s a whole new treatment on the rise that is endorsing Socrates for what ails us. Actually, not just Socrates but Derrida, Tolstoy, Spinoza, Diogenes and Nietzsche. Philosophical counsellors think that the answers to many of our problems lie in the library, not the apothecary. Of course, Kant’s categorical imperative is little help to anyone in the depths of a clinical depression, but what if the unhappiness stems not from medical reasons but spiritual, or even, God knows, metaphysical?

“We live in a complicated and confusing world, and people are drowning in information,” says Lou Marinoff, founding president of the American Philosophical Practitioners Association. “There is a lot of stress. Life has become more complicated than ever, and people are suffering in unprecedented ways. These are not diseases; the difficulties are human problems and not mental illnesses.”

Marinoff, who is Canadian, teaches at The City College of New York and is the poster professor for the philosophical counselling movement. He says that “everyone is pregnant with wisdom, and the philosopher is the midwife”—a paraphrasing of Plato. “What I do with people is try to understand their way of thinking and their way of looking at the world, and I help them discover what their inner philosophy is.”

By listening to the client (who typically sits in a chair and converses rather than soliloquizes from the analyst’s couch), the counsellor divines his or her inner philosophy and recommends thinkers who have ruminated about similar preoccupations. The prescription may range from readings of certain Confucian Analects or Mahayana Buddhist Sutras (dosage: once daily before bedtime) to a Ralph Waldo Emerson essay (three times a day before meals) to a shot of Sartrean existentialism (first thing in the morning.
How to be happy: Is going with your gut the best relationship advice?

More on how classic philosophies can cure loneliness and teach you how to be happy again, on the next page...Despite fostering a keen understanding of the mysteries of human nature, the contemplative life has rarely been a practical profession. At worst, it is intellectual Ping-Pong between ivory-tower academics; at best, it has provided guidance in the public-policy sphere. Twentieth-century public intellectuals like Bertrand Russell wrote and lectured about things that people were concerned about, like women’s right to vote and the ethics of nuclear weapons. John Dewey thought deeply about education. Contemporary philosopher Cornel West has written widely on race and weighed in on a number of causes, from animal rights to the current Occupy movement. Noam Chomsky is another living philosopher who is active in the public arena: He recently spoke out in favour of the Occupy movement and wrote disapprovingly about Osama bin Laden’s killing.

Still, few are the philosophers who engage with the general public, and even fewer still are those who use the discipline to solve people’s problems, such as loneliness,
career frustration, obsession with weight, disillusionment or a million other anxieties. And yet, philosophy is the ultimate self-help tool. As Epicurus put it more than 2,000 years ago, philosophy is the “therapy of the soul.” According to an article last year in The Washington Post, there are about 300 philosophical counsellors in 36 states and more than 20 foreign countries who are certified by the American Philosophical Practitioners Association. Hundreds more practise without a certificate. This boom in philosophical therapy is happening just as we have latched on to something that goes very much to the heart of philosophy:
happiness.

As individuals, we have always wanted to be happy, but happiness is now being touted as something to which society as a whole should aspire. Last year, British prime minister David Cameron announced a $3-million scheme to measure the nation’s happiness. The big idea is that how we rate our well-being in terms of things like health and education is as important an indicator of a nation’s progress as traditional statistics, like the gross national product. Put another way, progress is about not only how much money we make but also how good we feel. This is a radical about-face. If even untouchy-feely macroeconomists are shoehorning happiness indices into their pie charts, then happiness has become part of the national discourse. Which means that ordinary people are thinking about it too.

Not only is it dawning on us that we can’t spend our way to happiness; we might not be able to medicate ourselves there either, unless it’s our neurotransmitters that are malfunctioning and not something less tangible. The good news about philosophical therapy is that there are no side effects. And enlightenment, although not guaranteed, doesn’t require the minimum two-year stretch that classic psychoanalysis does. But the even better news is that philosophical counselling sets us right by helping us reflect on things we already knew but had forgotten or never realized we knew.

Celebrity

Gigi Hadid is going on a social media cleanse

Celebrity

Gigi Hadid is going on a social media cleanse

Gigi Hadid and Instagram are about to go on a break. The model recently revealed she'd be taking some time off from the social-media site after the holidays.

"I'm taking a month off, actually, during New Years. I'm not deleting my account, I'm just taking the apps off my phone," she told ELLE US of her social-media hiatus. "It's empowering, not just for people in the spotlight, for everyone. At the end of the day I'm choosing what I'm showing you. A lot of the world feels so entitled to other peoples' lives, which is so crazy. I'm going to take a break when I feel like it, and when I come back and share it with you, if you want to be supportive and still follow me, that's great. But, if you're going to be upset that I need to be human for a month, than maybe I don't want your follow anyway."

While we'll miss her killer feed – which includes her slaying the Victoria's Secret runway, arm in arm with beau Zayn Malik (see below), and #ootds in some of the coolest athleisure we've ever seen, we get it.

Gigi is not the only star to take a break from the 'gram this year. Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian and Selena Gomez also chose to detox from the app. "It has gotten to the point that people won't even say hi to me or recognize me as a human," Bieber wrote on Instagram before deleting his account, "I feel like a zoo animal, and I wanna be able to keep my sanity."

8 fashion brands every minimalist will love

Shopping

8 fashion brands every minimalist will love

Although Alessandro Michele makes a compelling case for more-is-more, some of us will always be drawn to restrained, clean designs. These labels are proving that minimal style doesn't have to boring or unimaginative.

For those of you who prefer your bikini free of palm fronds and hibiscus blooms, there's Aussie brand Matteau Swim, known for basic maillots and high-waisted swim bottoms in a palette of black, grey and white.

Launched this year by Catherine Holstein, Khaite is a balance of the masculine and feminine. Fans of the capsule wardrobe concept will find that pieces in the line, from structured shirt dresses to fitted denim, compliment one another perfectly.

Alnea Farahbella's label Toit Volant is made in the USA with a commitment to sustainable sourcing and manufacturing practices. The pre-spring 2017 collection is full of reworked takes on shirting, like this striped jumpsuit with a high collar.

This Montreal-based label keeps production local (the clothes are sewn in Montreal and some of the fabrics are printed in North America) and its ethos is similar to most of the other brands in this list: to let the individual add personality to the clothes.

Another L.A. brand with a dedication to North American manufacturing and sustainability, 5-year-old Shaina Mote is known for architectural, un-adorned basics and fluid silhouettes. If you could live your life without ever donning a polka dot or cheery stripe, the neutral colours in this line are made for you.

Founded by Tokyo-to-L.A. transplants Alexander Yamaguchi and Momoko Suzuki, brand Black Crane is an edgier, more street-wise take on minimalism – think cocoon dresses and wrap trousers with subtle origami and kimono inspiration.

The trailer for the new Baywatch movie is here

Movies & TV

The trailer for the new Baywatch movie is here

You know what your Thursday needs? This teaser trailer for the Baywatch reboot, that's what.

Now, we could extoll the virtues of this clip—The Rock! Zac Efron's abs! The Rock and Zac Efron's abs on a moped together!—but that would deprive you of the joy of experiencing this surprisingly funny clip with fresh eyes yourself.

Trends

Meet our January 2017 cover girl: Canadian model Crista Cober

Canadian model (and star of our January fashion story) Crista Cober has been working in the industry for 12 years, but she’s still wrapping her head around the public’s desire to know about her inner life. “I’m a professional model, so I think, wait, ‘you also want to know about me?” explains the Wellesley, Ont. native over the phone, having just returned from a lookbook shot in Milan.

Lucky for us, Toronto-based Cober offers a glimpse at her day-to-day on her largely unfiltered, just-as-I-am Instagram feed, where the model’s nine-month old daughter Lou makes the odd (adorable) appearance. Over the course of our chat, Cober opened up about motherhood, rebellion and yes, modelling.

Tell me about your day shooting for the cover of ELLE Canada's January issue.

“It was the quintessential Canadian vibe—a true collaboration. The location [Crown Flora Studio] was beautiful; it was like breathing in the tropics. I shot with [the photographer] Max Abadian 12 years ago. It was my very first shoot. So that was a very special moment. And I got to have my daughter on set.”

“Yes. I’m less inclined to say yes to some amazing projects. It’s much harder; I used to go from one job to the next, to the next. And now I have to be a lot more selective.”

Other than your schedule, what factors make you say yes?

“The people. I value my time, and to be away from someone I think is the greatest person on the planet, I want to make sure that I’m working with the right people. After 12 years, I have a better judge of things,”

How else have you evolved as a model in 12 years?

“I feel like I can collaborate a bit more with the people running the ship. I can be a bit more involved. I think now there’s a bit more of an interest in who I am as a person, rather than just what I look like. I’m not sure I like that yet.”

So how do you feel about that? It sounds like it plays into today’s phenomenon of the Insta-model.

“I’m in my 30s now, so I feel like I kind of skipped it. I like to use Instagram to post the pictures of what I want to show, as opposed to letting it have anything to do with work. Once I did a fragrance shoot, I understood that ‘now you’re the face!’ There was a lot of PR, a lot of hype. I had a moment of feeling like I wanted to keep my business and my life separate.

Would you say you’re shy?

“I had an amazing agent when I started in Toronto. I learned that this is a business and you’re self-employed. At the end of the day, you run you. There are a lot of beautiful faces out there, but there are less kind people. I approached going into my agency as my biggest casting. I wouldn’t say I’m shy, but I’m professional.”

Do you feel like this isn’t what you singed up for when you started?

“I was lucky to be able to stop modelling and come back. When I first started skateboarding, everyone thought that was really cool and wanted to incorporate it [into shoots]. And I was like, ‘this is just my mode of transportation because my bike got stolen! ‘I’m not a skater!”

Do you still skateboard?

“Yeah. Everywhere.”

What’s your advice to young models?

“Just love yourself so much for you! The business is always changing; something that doesn’t fit one day will fit another day.”

How did you start modelling?

“I was scouted by an incredible model scout, Anthony Gordon. He was an amazing ballet dancer and he had an eye for faces. He wasn’t a scout at the time, but we went to the same high school, 10 years apart. He found my picture in a yearbook. 5 days later he bumped into me at a shopping mall and when I told him my name, he said, ‘you will not believe this!’ and told me the story and took me to Elmer Olsen. Then I did my first editorial and that was the start."

Was there a point when you thought to yourself “wow, I’m a model. This is my career now.”

“No, I think that took a couple of years. I remember [the agency] showing me Daria on the cover of Vogue and explaining that that was my potential, then I went straight to New York, and from there to Paris.”

What made you stop modelling for a while?

“I came from an athletic background and I was a swimmer. The agency in Paris sent me back immediately because they said I was too big. I came back to Canada, and I thought, ‘this is my body.’ It was the size of my hands and my wrists [that they talked about].”

How did it feel to hear that?

“It made me stronger, more rebellious. But it gave me the opportunity to stop, and start again. When I was 21 I stopped for four months and I went to South America.”

Do you have any hopes or goals for your career?

“An amazing beauty contract or something that sets up 6o days of the year. Before I didn’t want to know what was coming up the next month. Now I love the idea of having more of a set schedule.”

So what does life look like right now?

“For now, I’m just enjoying. My daughter travels so well, and my husband works from home. So on the days we have nothing, we’re just exploring Toronto.”