In 2011 Morrissey issued a statement on the website True-To-You.net denying that he was behind a blog called Morrissey's World or that he was on Twitter. He later denied it again. And again. And again. I know a rat when I smell one and I smelt one, a BIG one, so I started to write this blog to record the offerings of the 'fake' Morrissey. What has happened since has been nothing short of phenomenal. The story continues...

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Tuesday, 26 January 2016

On Day 1582 of FTM (January 12th) I posted a comment that had been left by 'Not Astra's Derrière'. I declared that the style of writing was identical to Astra's, and that therefore, 'Not Bot' was indeed Astra. A few hours later, 'Not Bot' posted the following in reply:I am not AstraI never wasA good parody in hand is worth two in the bushA good parody in the bush, is worth at least two sharp raps on the derriereA good two sharp raps on the derriere, now I’d say we’re all really starting to get somewhereBut as I’ve already bid you all goodbye... We All Lose
I responded by saying that we must have been duped, to which 'Not Bot' replied:I am not in the business of duping. You can always look to me for the permanence of smoke and stars.Still mainline in sway, sideline in loucheI'm just the shadow of the sweetest, darkest shadow
This left me none the wiser but, for now at least, I am still presuming that 'Not Bot' is indeed a Morrissey pessoa. If I am right, then it shows that Morrissey wasn't sat rocking in a darkened room at the news of David Bowie's death, and this has been further endorsed by both the release of a TTY statement listing new shows in April, and a photo of Moz out and about in Beverly Hills. It does make me wonder if Morrissey did his mourning for the death of David Bowie in 1995.

Despite 'Not Bot' stating that she had, "already bid you all goodbye", she returned to The Loveless yesterday at 3.26am (7.26pm Sunday in LA) for the first time since January 8th, to tweet, "Like origami, I unfold." We look forward to the unfolding.

The TTY statement has indicated that Morrissey will play countries such as Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore, Taiwan and Guam... where the bloody hell is Guam? *Googles it* It's an island in the middle of nowhere. I bet Bowie never played Guam!

Morrissey's last concert in Singapore was in May 2012 at Fort Canning. The concert was all lined up to be the first one where Morrissey would accept a blue rose, from BRS member, Manc Lad. Manc Lad had gone half way across the world to carry out his mission, but unfortunately he got pissed at the concert, and the inevitable happened. As reported on Day 238 of FTM, Manc Lad tweeted after the concert in Fort Canning to say, "I think rose trampled to death in pit, oh my me bad. So sorry his face at the end when only passed a piece of paper, obvious he was waiting, damn I'm so stupid."

The look on Morrissey's face that Manc Lad was referring to, can be seen on the video below at 3 mins 45, where Moz shrugs his shoulders and rolls his eyes, and again at 4 mins 13 where Morrissey again shrugs his shoulders at Manc Lad. I wonder if Manc Lad will attempt his quest again this time around.

All else remains quiet in The Loveless, with very few BRS members currently popping in. It would seem that Kerry the Cocktail and MerryAnne are spending all of their time in the toilets with Mundane Glamour, who they are still utterly convinced is Morrissey. My latest thought is that Mundane Glamour could be Kevin Banjaxer Walter Ego Mar(r)inan, after all, we haven't heard from him for ages. Two years ago he was supposedly going to be part of MorrisseysWorld.Com, but that never came to fruition. Perhaps the BRS tumblr site was set up instead.

The only other thing to mention, is that as part of the TTY statement about the new tour, a Sam Esty Rayner photomontage was included, with the actors from Maverick/members of the Morrissey band labelled as, The Dirty Half Dozen. Coincidentally, HeatherCat had mentioned the Dirty Dozen on FTM a few weeks ago.THE DIRTY HALF DOZEN

Thursday, 21 January 2016

It has now been 11 days since David Bowie departed the world. It has been reported that he has been cremated in New York, with no family or friends present. Bowie's new album, Black Star, has become a posthumous Number 1 in both the US and UK, but there is no posthumous Number 1 single; with the top performing song in the UK being Heroes, which is at Number 12.

11 YEAR OLD BOY SCOUT, DAVID BOWIE (LEFT) PICTURED ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT (1958) MAKING HIS FIRST PUBLIC PERFORMANCE - HE COVERED LONNIE DONEGAN'SGAMBLIN' MANANDPUTTIN' ON THE STYLE.

Two years ago, I wrote a blog entry comparing the careers of Morrissey and Bowie at the same ages, and have decided to update the piece, and go into much greater detail; including the number of shows performed by each artist. Before researching this piece, I had no idea that either Bowie or Morrissey had played anywhere near the number of shows that they have. In his 44th year, Bowie played an incredible 108 shows.

One of the most interesting things that I have come to realise, is that taking a hiatus really seems to work wonders for a career. Morrissey took a break after the release of Maladjusted, and subsequently came back far stronger; and it could be argued was far more relevant in his mid forties than Bowie was at a similar age. Likewise, after Bowie's heart surgery, he released no material for nine and a half years, and when he finally released a new album at the age of 66, it shot to Number 1.

Death enhances a career even further, with Bowie currently sat at Number 1 in both the US and UK album charts, and the song Lazarus this week becoming Bowie's first Top 40 US hit since the age of 40 (over 28 years ago).

NEW YORK 1992 - PHOTO BY LINDER STERLING

AGE 23 - Bowie releases his third studio album, The Man Who Sold the World on the Mercury record label (Didn't chart 1970). He had previously released the albums, David Bowie at the age of 20 on the Deram label (Didn't chart 1967), and Space Oddity at the age of 22 on the Phillips label (Didn't chart 1969). He plays 40 shows with a variety of line ups and bands

- Morrissey plays 9 shows with The Smiths and signs to Rough Trade

AGE 24 - Bowie signs to RCA , and has his first album chart success with his fourth studio album, Hunky Dory (Number 3 UK 1971). He plays 17 shows

- Morrissey releases his first album with The Smiths entitled, The Smiths (Number 2 UK 1984). He plays 77 shows with The Smiths

AGE 25 - Bowie releases his fifth studio album, Ziggy Stardust (Number 5 UK 1972), which many people see as his legacy. He plays 91 shows and guests at a Mott the Hoople show

- Morrissey, with The Smiths, release the compilation album, Hatful of Hollow (Number 7 UK 1984), and his second studio album, Meat is Murder (Number 1 UK 1985); which makes him one of the most famous advocates of vegetarianism. He plays 50 shows with The Smiths

- Morrissey, with The Smiths, releases his third studio album, The Queen is Dead (Number 2 UK 1986), and the compilation album, The World Won't Listen (Number 2 UK 1987). He plays 41 shows with The Smiths

AGE 28 - Bowie releases his ninth studio album, Young Americans (Number 2 UK 1975). He films The Man Who Fell To Earth. He has a Number 1 single in the US with, Fame, co-written by John Lennon, and a Number 1 in the UK with a re-release of Space Oddity. He plays no shows but plays saxophone in an all star band at Peter Sellers 50th birthday party

- Morrissey, with The Smiths, releases his fourth studio album, Strangeways Here We Come (Number 2 UK 1987 - which goes Gold), and The Smiths split. He signs to EMI and releases his fifth studio album, Viva Hate (Number 1 UK 1988) on the HMV label. He plays no showsBOWIE, AGE 28 (1975) IN THE FILM, THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH

AGE 36 - Bowie signs to the EMI record label and releases his fifteenth studio album, Let's Dance (Number 1 UK 1983), which becomes his biggest commercial success, and turns him into a global superstar. He plays 97 shows

- Morrissey leaves EMI and joins Bowie's former label, RCA. He releases his ninth studio album, Southpaw Grammar (Number 4 UK 1995). Morrissey plays 13 shows, including 9 as support for 48 year old Bowie, but being a support act is NOT for Morrissey, and he leaves the tour early and subsequently leaves RCA

BOWIE AGE 40 - PLAYING PONTIUS PILATE IN THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST 1987MORRISSEY AGE 40 - ELVIS LIKE IN VEGAS 1999AGE 41 - Bowie performs in one show; playing one song, with La La La Human Steps at London's Dominion theatre
- Morrissey spends time in LA. He plays no shows

AGE 43 - Bowie parts company with EMI. He takes a break from Tin Machine and plays 108 solo shows - stating this will be the last time he will play his old songs
- Morrissey plays 47 shows, showcasing new songs

"SO, I EVENTUALLY LEFT THE TOUR.... AND HE NEVER SPOKE TO ME AGAIN.YOU HAVE TO WORSHIP AT THE TEMPLE OF DAVID WHEN YOU BECOME INVOLVED. HE WAS A FASCINATING ARTIST IN 1970, 71, 72... BUT NOT NOW" - MORRISSEY IN 2002 (AGE 43) TALKING ABOUT A 55 YEAR OLD BOWIE; WHO HAD JUST RELEASED THE ALBUM, HEATHEN

AGE 44 - Bowie signs to the London record label and re-forms Tin Machine to release his nineteenth studio album Tin Machine II (Number 23 UK 1991). He duets with a 32 year old Morrissey in LA and plays 58 shows with Tin Machine
- Morrissey signs to the Attack record label, and releases his eleventh studio album, You Are The Quarry (Number 2 UK 2004), and all four singles from the album reach the UK Top 10, including Irish Blood, English Heart (Number 3 UK 2004). He plays 12 shows

AGE 47 - Bowie spends time in the studio with Brian Eno writing songs for the album, Outside. He plays no shows
- Morrissey is voted as Britain's 2nd Greatest British Living Icon, behind Sir David Attenborough. A 59 year old Bowie is placed 4th. Morrissey plays 71 shows

AGE 50 - Bowie releases his twenty-third studio album, Earthling (Number 6 UK 1997). He issues 'Bowie Bonds' - selling his back catalogue for a 10 year period for $55million. He sings on Lou Reed's, Perfect Day single for the BBC's Children In Need (Number 1 UK 1997). He plays 86 shows
- Morrissey releases the b-sides album, Swords (Number 55 UK 2009) on the Polydor label. He plays 54 shows

AGE 68 - Bowie continues recording the album, Black Star and releases the singles, Black Star and Lazarus. He plays no shows

AGE 69 - Bowie releases his twenty-eighth studio album, Black Star on his birthday and dies two days later

POSTHUMOUS - Bowie's album, Black Star reaches Number 1 in both the UK and US. Lazarus becomes his first US Top 40 single since 1987

Morrissey has not been heard of since his final concert in Las Vegas on January 2nd. I would imagine that Bowie's death has hit Morrissey very hard; not least because he never got the chance to properly put things right between the two of them.

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Last Friday David Bowie released his latest LP, Black Star. I listened to each track, and although I thought a couple of songs sounded okay, the album as a whole didn't particularly grab me.

On Saturday evening; just minutes before The Voice aired on BBC1, new Voice judge Boy George took to Twitter to state that he had just downloaded Bowie's album, so I tweeted to say, "It will be interesting to hear what you think of it. I personally prefer Bieber's album." George spotted my tweet and replied, "Are you five?". I then got trolled by BG's followers. I thought it most unprofessional of a judge from The Voice to have decided that one artist's album is better than another based purely on previous output - he hadn't even listened to Black Star at that point - but ultimately, Bowie is George's hero, and no doubt I would have given exactly the same response to anyone suggesting that a Bieber LP was better than a Morrissey one - even if I hadn't heard the Moz LP.

On Sunday, David Bowie died. The news wasn't announced to the world until Monday.

On Monday, the world mourned.

I was fortunate enough to have seen Bowie's last ever UK concert; when he headlined the Isle of Wight festival in 2004, but I could never claim to have been a massive fan. Having said that, there are loads and loads and loads of Bowie's songs that I absolutely adore. My immediate thoughts on hearing of Bowie's death, turned to Morrissey. To a thirteen year old Morrissey trying to find direction, reasons, and answers, Bowie had been EVERYTHING.BOWIE AT THE ISLE OF WIGHT FESTIVAL 2004

It already seems like a lifetime ago since Morrissey played his last concert in Las Vegas, but it is actually just 10 days.

I, along with two or three other members of the BRS, have spent the past week desperately trying to fathom out if Morrissey has rejoined us in The Loveless or not. As I mentioned in my blog entry of January 2nd both, Not Astra's Derrière (@SoStarkSoHaunt) and Delinquent Icon (now renamed Authority Nightmare @mundaneglamour), had been muted as possible Moz pessoas, and they have both been tweeting during the past week. It has been impossible to draw any conclusion as to their real identities from their tweets, however, in the early hours of Monday morning (2.35am UK time to be exact), Mlle Not Bot posted this in the comments section of my blog entry of last Tuesday:

Isn’t it funny how more than one of us girls look so very similar, sometimes, to one another around here? One girl’s delectation is another girl’s … reflection in the mirror. But you must remember, reflections will never tell the secrets they store. Deaf, mute, untouchable beauty. Then suddenly, one quick step to the side, and none of any of it was ever even there at all.

I’m not usually in the habit of ever leaving comments here so I thought to myself; I’m not about to start now.

Except that I shall. Because I’m NOTHING, if not the exception to EVERY single rule, that any of you have ever known.

I received a message by carrier pigeon earlier. It was written in Morse code. It was from Astra, and it said in sharp staccato little clicks and lights that they “seem to have closed her mothercunting account.” She always did march to the beat of her own heartbeat.

The second part of the message was en Francais. That part said something about how she had an incident very recently where her driver appeared to be indisposed, in some manner or another, fallen by this wayside or that. Or possibly even another.

Apparently she somehow had to call an Uber for the first (and I would imagine the last) time in her life, and was by her French kiss of a whisper of the account, picked up instead by an ex-professional fighter… in a Tesla.

The third part of the message was conveyed neither by clicks, lights, dots, dashes, nor en Francais, and that part said that she’s just in the last two weeks entered into a completely unexpected and equally beguiling middle of the night correspondence of sorts, with an ex-principal dancer of the San Francisco Ballet – who apparently has the eyes of a snow leopard and the countenance of a panther about to pounce – whether on her or not is the part that remains to be seen, but I can already see where this is going.

So she is now currently deciding whether to allow this person the unspeakably exquisite delights of entwining their legs with hers – as she understands that these might be the cards that have been dealt. What’s an extra flight here or there. A dab hand at blackjack, an old hand at poker, a smile and a flash, and with every wink she never gave you, I’m sure the rest will forever remain untold.

Astra may or may not be back, before time’s tide smothers us all – but from the carrier pigeon message, I wouldn’t put any money on it. She was never anything if not the most ephemeral wisp of a nothing that never was.

As for me, it remains to be seen if my derriere, well… will remain to be seen. But I am equally as unlikely as your next unlikeliest anything, … so here I am again, here I go again. And here I’m gone again.

If not here, I will see you all sometime.I will see you somewhere.

And in the eternal midnight of my pulsating heart, I will drown in my luxe ecstasy – alone.

On the dance floor I will be. On the dance floor, one day, you will find me.

I’ll always be in the one in the middle. I’ll be the one under the spotlight. And when the clock strikes midnight - save me. I’ll be the one with my emerald eyes closed.

May the Almighty God in Heaven above help the wanton, the willing, and the wanting.

The style of the writing has pretty much convinced me that Not Bot IS Astra, and therefore Morrissey. I had asked Not Bot last Tuesday who Mundane Glamour was; after all, it was Not Bot who had introduced MG to us. Not Bot replied, "Authority Nightmare. Angel of yesterdays. Whisper of tomorrows. Connoisseur of the shadows. Who are any of us?" This was then followed up with, "Beautiful creates without features. Darts in the dark. Answering to no one. Art is the light."

It left me none the wiser, but perhaps it could be Linder Sterling, who incidentally was spotted at the Moz concert in Las Vegas.
Here are the rest of Not Bot's Twitter highlights from the past week:

Tuesday Jan 5th:I am the go-go dancer that never was. But that I always will be. Legs of a dancer. Heart made of sin. My mind made of dynamite.Words float away from me. Snake charmer, till the end. A sculptress. My only medium - nuance. Words are my harem. Redemption, my game.The dance of attrition. My languid eyes wander. Do you know how to play this? Do you know how to move me? Do you know how the heart beats?We’re all wasting, away.The loveless know everything. My life is my gamble. My bite is your pleasure. STAGE. I was never even hereI believe in the necessity of never needingWednesday Jan 6th:So far I have managed to start off the year, much as I intend to finish it. With appearances high, my hemline much the same, morals low, and standards in the gutter. A little finesse and I’m done.But if anyone’s seen my savoir-faire or artful subtlety, you’ll know that sometimes, I also drop things unblushing.Tendrils of tenderness, caressing the unseeable. The untouchable never existed.The cacophony of calamities vies violently, and then all ends in aural ecstasy.Life stops and starts. The heart skips a beat. And music, forever - remains the only.Always believe my lies. They'll be beautifully wrapped for as long as you look at meCustomary glance. Ego encapsulated in bright lights. Something without the ability to be physically assessed.Yearning for the irrational. The ironical. The diabolical. I breathe the fantastical. I live the absurd.Id explosion. Ego demands. Superego fire. The dance of conjugal control.Thursday Jan 7th: I am quite sure of myself. And assured of myself. So we can be sure. And then we can be surer.Friday Jan 8th:Once upon a time I was a paper doll. Then I took three left turns. One was wrong. Now I’m just a piece of paper carried by the windThere is only sadness for me

The tone of some of the tweets almost suggest that Astra (if it is Astra!) KNEW that Bowie was going to die.

I suppose that I ought to trawl back through all of Not Bot's tweets from the past 9 months, but I shan't... not at the moment anyway.

I am pretty sure that whoever Mundane Glamour is, he/she isn't Morrissey, so I won't post their tweets on this blog.

Mademoiselle Fifi, who DEFINITELYis a Moz pessoa, made her first appearance of the New Year this week. On Sunday at 9.30am (UK time) Fifi's 53 followers were treated to her entering The Loveless. She didn't stay long, and just exchanged a few pleasantries with three or four of the regulars. She enquired as to whether I had, "gone ghetto" after I called Kerry a "lucky bitch", and when I explained that I had in fact gone 'high camp' and not 'ghetto', Fifi choked on her tea! She parted with, "A song for Ghetto Rat and I exit. Take good care my little charmers." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XXunpmoluo

There has been no word from Morrissey regarding Bowie's death. I would guess that he is just feeling numb.

Mundane Glamour took to Twitter yesterday afternoon to tweet, "How brave it was to be Bowie. Devastated, shocked, sadden (sic). These words do not seem enough and do not sum up my complete mourning."

MG then returned a few hours later to tweet, "You may call me Jean Shrimpton", before then interacting with a couple of the regulars. When comrade harps exclaimed surprise that Morrissey hadn't made a statement about Bowie on TTY, MG replied, "watch this space. Or don't. What do I know?"

If it hadn't been for Not Bot introducing MG to us, I really would have dismissed him/her as a fraud. I had absolutely convinced myself that it was Bitchy Bobby Neville behind the account, but my sense of reason tells me that it MUST be someone Morrissey knows.

And after the sadness of yesterday, today my eldest child; although I can't really refer to either of my offspring as children anymore, has been offered a place at Cambridge. I am so, so proud; especially as no member of my family has EVER gone to university before, let alone Cambridge. I couldn't resist tweeting my joy, to which Mundane Glamour responded, "why bother?" I have subsequently unfollowed MG, friend of Morrissey or not! I am also having nothing more to do with Kerry The Cocktail or the aforementioned, Bitchy Bobby Neville, who this week thought it would be funny to try and convince me that they were the authors of the BRS tumblr. They later admitted it was a joke, but with my head already spinning with all the unanswered questions regarding pessoas, I really didn't find it funny. Perhaps I just need a break away from The Loveless for a while.

And as for Black Star, well suddenly it all makes sense.... well, Lazarus does at any rate - I can't stop listening to it. I would even go as far as to say that I prefer it to anything on Bieber's LP, but I won't tell George.

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

After eighteen months, the final curtain has come down on the WPINOYB World Tour... although come to think about it, curtains don't actually rise and fall at concerts, only at theatrical performances.... anyway, it's over.

The final concert took place on Saturday night at The Hard Rock Hotel's, The Joint, in the playground of Sinatra and Presley, Las Vegas. The BRS were out in numbers.... four... not great numbers I grant you, but not bad for a Society that has only managed to recruit around 30 people worldwide in four years.

KERRY 'ACTION' BOOZEY-COCKTAIL

MERRYANNE SAD GLAMOUR

VULGAR ANGIE - BRS VICE PRESIDENT

JAZZY - ON THE RAILS (& MERRYANNE - OFF THE RAILS... BUT NOT ON THE RACK)

Morrissey, not unsurprisingly, ignored the blue roses at the concert, but he did sing Action is My Middle Name for the first time since October's concert in Budapest; which VERY coincidentally, Kerry 'Action' Boozey-Cocktail also attended. Morrissey also sang Reader Meet Author; a track from Southpaw Grammar which, somewhat coincidentally, was requested by Boozey back in September, at the very beginning of the tour. All the Lazy Dykes was also sung for just the second time on the tour, and the two times that it has been sung; in LA & Vegas, has VERY coincidentally been with Vulgar 'Cross-armed' Angie in attendance.

The whole set was just incredible once again, with Oboe Concerto and Presley's You'll Be Gone both sung as well. During Oboe, Morrissey added the lyric "they were happy to go" after "which pushes me to their place in the queue", and at the end of You'll Be Gone he said, "well, the spirit was there", which would suggest that maybe he wasn't happy with how the song went, but to me it was as good as ever. I still find it baffling that Elvis didn't write more of his own songs, this song really is as good as any other The King recorded.

Jack The Ripper was also in the set once again, and how I dearly wish that I had had the opportunity to witness it live on this tour.

I must also make mention that Morrissey placed a red rose onto the drum kit during the Vegas concert. I have no idea who took the roses, but the word is spreading.

RED ROSES IN LAS VEGAS 2016

The three concerts of the past week really have been something rather special, and a fantastic way for Morrissey and his excellent band to sign off. I must make mention of the fact that the security man that MerryAnne met in LA was NOT Donnie Knutson, so perhaps that photo taken by Donnie The Don was posted on TTY to show us that he was at the back of the theatre, and not at the front.

True-To-You has today posted a list of all the concerts played on the World Peace is None of Your Business Tour - 101 concerts in 36 countries over the past eighteen months. Hundreds of thousands of fans have been to see Morrissey on the tour. There can now be no doubt in anybody's mind that Steve Barnett and Harvest Records fucked-up BIG TIME.

So, big man, what now? Will Morrissey return to The Loveless Go-Go bar, or is that journey over too? In my last blog entry I wrote that he may have returned in the form of @MundaneGlamour, but the owner of that account beckoned me into the toilets of The Loveless on Sunday to assure me that she(?) isn't a Morrissey pessoa, so I shall take her at her word, and won't therefore be reporting her every tweet here.... mind you, she has already tweeted some gems:

"Grey can sometimes be glamorous but never on people.""Sometimes I question the meaning of life but then I look at my silk socks and it all becomes clear""Conventional beauty does nothing for me""My style is not actually style. More a unique throwing together of dead people's ideas""I am forever enthralled by the faded glamour of the British coastal towns. Old Victorian buildings and people victorious in mundaneness""I find glamour in death but not in life. This makes me emotionally sensitive. Apparently..."

Whoever MundaneGlamour may be, they certainly give a good impression of being very Morrissey-esque, although I honestly do believe that it isn't Morrissey, after all, what sort of person would be tweeting about the faded glamour of British coastal towns at 4 o'clock in the morning? (West Coast America time)