My autobiography, where you can choose what I tell you about…

Golden Brown

Hull gaffer Phil Brown has revealed that, for the last five years, he has relied entirely on photosynthesis for survival.

The man who kept Hull in the Premiership claims that he has not eaten any food since 2002 and that he “feels great”.

“I get all the nutrients I require directly from UV rays. Instead of food, I sit in front of a sun lamp three times a day and have swapped my office at the training ground for a deckchair in a greenhouse”.