After the open house at the college radio station, I paid a visit to a now-defunct cafe that used to be downstairs from the radio station studio and found the following calculation written on the wall:

I’m a little uncertain about the first premise (that girlfriends are the product of time and money). But if that premise holds true, it’s hard to deny the conclusion that girlfriends are evil.

The premise comes as hilarious, but I’ll grant it. Still, even granting that, and the improper paraphrase “money is the root of all evil,” it still doesn’t work. Who says “the root” means “the SQUARE root.” For all we know it could mean the cube root, the 15-dimensonial hyper-cube root (which would equal n^(1/15), or the 1.01010101… “root of all evil.” It even gets more funny when you think about the saying “for the love of the money is the root of all evil.” There the “root” gets thought of something like a tree’s root, from which the tree springs and which helps sustain the tree. So, more or less, the love of money in some way causes evil. Does a number such as 1.414… get caused by a square root operation? Nope, just equality without causality. In fact, if we did say that a square root operation of 2 causes 1.414…, then by the symmetric property of equality we would have to conclude that 1.414… causes the operation of the square root of 2. Numbers creating functions indeed!

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