As everyone knows, the Yankees’ new Death Star is opening its doors in April. And just how evilly awesome will the place be? From the sounds of the tour given to NEW YORK POST gossip diva Cindy Adams, it’s pretty freakin’ incredible.

Adams speaks of huge offices and locker rooms, urinals made of blue granite, heated and air conditioned dugouts, special hooks in the lockers just for hanging socks, and a super-secret locker room where players can go hide from the media (otherwise known as A-Rod’s office).