Straight Up Money Talk

financial confessions

I know, I know….it’s been a while since I’ve written. Normally that would be because we’re just plugging along, with nothing interesting to report. Unfortunately that hasn’t been the case here.

Sigh.

Remember my previous post about how (relatively) great things have been going? We’ve been sticking to the budget, bills were getting paid, and we were still squeaking out a little money here and there for date nights and such?

Well, I kind of feel like perhaps I was tempting the financial gods with that post. Just a couple of weeks after that, Todd and I sat down to do our taxes. I was feeling alright about it, to be honest. In previous years I’ve always gotten a refund of some kind (a couple of years I got fairly generous ones), and although I wasn’t expecting much, there was a tiny hope in the back of my mind that I would get even a teensy little something.

Um…yeah. Not so much. Turns out, I owe a big ole’ chunk of money to the government for taxes last year.

How’s that possible, you ask?

Well, Todd and I got married back in August, 2013. Prior to that, I was a single mom who was able to claim one of her kids as the equivalent to an unemployed spouse. This is a huge tax break. On top of that, I was also paying a fair bit into child care expenses, which is also a nice little tax break. What I didn’t realize was how much these two things added up to over the course of a year in terms of taxes.

Last year when I filed my 2013 taxes, I still received a bit of a refund. We didn’t get married until August, and so I was able to again, claim my daughter up until that time. We were also still paying for after school child care.

2014 comes and I don’t give my taxes a second thought. Our daughters stopped going to after school care and still, nothing clicked in my mind. And then suddenly…boom. It’s tax time.

<insert horror-movie-style-scream-here>

The end story is that we’ve got a fair bit of money that needs to be paid back to the government. On top of that, I have had my tax contributions adjusted for this year, which means that our monthly budget is getting squeezed just that much more, since I have a smaller take-home pay.

How has this affected our financial plans?

Well…our plan has taken a significant hit. I had a bit of money set aside that was going to be used to fully pay off one of our credit cards, which now needs to be used as a down payment on our tax bill. We’re still in the process of re-arranging and re-adjusting things to make up for both paying off this additional bill, as well as dealing with the lower pay amount.

While I’m in a better head space about this than I was initially, having had time to process it all, I’m still pretty bummed. I know we have no choice but to just keep pressing onwards, sticking to the (now-modified) plan and doing our best.

It’s fairly easy to understand why being financially responsible is something that many people struggle with. After all, we’re a pretty “instant” society. We want what we want, and we want it right now, dammit. I know that’s how Todd and I got to the place we are right now, financially. We made the choice — repeatedly — to live in the moment rather than with our eyes on the prize. We were totally playing the financial short game.

The thing about playing the financial long game is that it requires dedication and most of all, patience. Which can be a struggle for people who are really used to reaching for that instant gratification.

So….confession time, kids.

I’ve been struggling a little bit lately in terms of having patience with this whole process. I mean, we’re doing well. We’re sticking to our budget. We’re paying off bills, we’re building up savings. We’re being responsible with a bit of extra money that has come our way. We’re doing the right things, and it’s having the desired effect. Good for us, right? In fact, I actually did a little dance of joy just yesterday when a certain credit card bill came in and I checked the current balance. There are lots of positive things going on, which we’re feeling really great about.

On the flip side of that, though, I’ve found myself really struggling with a lot of financial temptations out there. That old mentality of “But I deserve this!” has come creeping in on more than one occasion. I find myself dreaming of moving to a bigger (and more expensive) place to live. I wonder if we can’t just go on that family vacation now and worry about the financial consequences later. I’ve been visiting some online shopping sites and tempting myself with things I know I don’t need and shouldn’t be spending money on. I’ve been grouchy about skimping on small things and have found myself indulging in Starbucks a little more often than I should.

We’re still sticking to our budget (with a couple of recent exceptions) and honestly, things are going well. The problem in all of this is my own current mindset. I’ve started losing sight of those long term goals. I’ve gotten impatient with how long this process is taking. Rather than being happy with how far we’ve come in a relatively short period of time, I’m focusing on how far we have yet to go.

Thankfully I have Todd to discuss these frustrations with and although he shares in them from time to time, he has been very good at reminding me of all the reasons why we’re doing this. Having full financial transparency means that I can’t indulge in a bunch of retail therapy to help get me past this hump, which is a good thing for me at the moment. I know that this is only a temporary phase that I’m struggling with, and that I’ll find a way to get my mind on the long game once again. But dang, I’m not going to lie. Some days, it is tough.

Does anyone else struggle with this from time to time? What do you do to get yourself past these “times of financial weakness”? Any tips for making it through?

So, since planning and implementing our budget late last year, I’ve got to say that Todd and I have done a pretty dang good job of sticking within that budget. We stick to the budget that we have set for ourselves, and we even plan ahead for things coming up down the road (like birthdays, etc). So all in all, we’ve been feeling pretty good about things.

And with those good feelings, came a bit of complacency, methinks.

This past Saturday we did our usual grocery shopping. We split it up over several different locations, in order to ensure that we get the best deals going. We make stops at a local place called Gateway Meat Market (that always has at least one or two crazy insane cheap items — like this past week, broccoli for 17 cents per head!), sometimes Walmart, Costco, depending on what we need, with our last stop always being the actual grocery store itself.

This weekend we made stops at Gateway, Costco, and finally the grocery store. As we were at our last stop, pulling up to the cash register it hit me: we weren’t going to meet our budget this time.

And boy, was I ever right on that. In fact, not only did we end up being over, but we ended up being WAY over. So much over that we spent all of this week’s allotted grocery amount, and almost all of next week’s, too.

So how it in the blue hell did THAT happen?

Looking back there were lots of reasons for it. Many of these things could have been prevented, but again, my complacency led me down the wrong road.

1. This week is an irregular week.

Our youngest daughter turned 10 on Sunday and so this week we’re having a big birthday feast to celebrate. Our family tradition is that the birthday person gets to choose any meal they want. This year, Mo chose home made sushi. This is something we only usually make a couple of times year, just because it’s one of the more expensive meals when you consider all the extra things (like seafood) that need to be purchased. Still…it’s her once a year birthday request, so who am I to say she can’t have it?

2. I didn’t do a pre-shop inventory.
Usually, in order to stay on budget, I create a meal plan, which involves first taking stock of what we already have in the house. Last week was insanely busy at work, and I just didn’t have the time (or the energy) to go through my freezer and cupboards like I normally do. I went by memory, which means that — whoops! — I wasn’t sure what we did and didn’t have in the house already. This resulted in buying a lot of things we didn’t really need this week — rice vinegar, sushi rice, coffee cream…after I started putting things away at home, I realized that we’d bought a number of things that we didn’t really need to buy at all. Let’s just say we’ll be eating a whole lot of apples for the next little while. Sigh.

3. I strayed from my list.

One of the cardinal rules for staying on budget when grocery shopping is to make a list and stick to it. These past few months I’ve been pretty good with doing exactly that. But this week, I’ll admit, I fell into the trap of making a few extra purchases. “Oooooh! Look! Pork is on sale. I should pick up a couple of packages.” (Not on the list). “Wow! This giant package of Naan at Costco is a great deal!” (Also not on the list). “Let’s pick up some extra seafood for that chowder to make it extra delicious.” (Again, not an item that had been planned for). While unpacking all of our groceries I was able to see just how many extras we’d picked up. There were quite a few of them.

4. I shopped while I was hungry.

I know…I know. It’s one of those things that everyone knows, right? Never grocery shop when you’re hungry. Todd and I had been out running around all day, doing a ton of errands and other than some coffee and a gluten free muffin from the Farmer’s Market, I hadn’t eaten anything else all day. Big mistake. Shopping hungry likely had a lot to do with all those extras I slid into the cart (“Yum! Sweet potatoes!” “A little extra bacon won’t hurt…” “Gluten free cookies! Just what I need!”) So yeah. I can confirm that there’s a reason why “they” say don’t go shopping hungry.

So all of these factors worked together against me to result in a whopping grocery bill when all was said and done. Now, in the past, I would have simply shrugged, chalked it up to “life” and shopped again as usual the following week. Likely putting it on the credit card.

Well…not this time.

After a quick conversation, Todd and I decided how to handle this overage. Since we basically spent all of next week’s grocery money, the only thing we can do is not spend any more until next payday (March 13th). Of course, there’s still $13-ish left in our grocery budget (which is good, considering I forgot to pick up dish detergent — whoops!), which we are free to spend, but if there are any food purchases that are required over and above that amount, we are left with two choices:

So that’s the plan. The good news is that our house is basically crammed to almost overflowing with good food, so making it through the next couple of weeks theoretically shouldn’t be that challenging. Of course, I’m saying that two days after buying food.

I think that those of us who go through life carrying a credit card balance (especially a large one) have kind of lost touch with our money. Credit cards seem to remove that connection we have with the price of things, and how much they actually end up costing us over the long term. Once things are charged on that card, it’s kind of easy to forget about the fact that they haven’t truly been paid for.

Todd and I got a bit of a reality check in this department recently.

This past week Bryan Adams played here in Halifax. He is one of Todd’s favourites; he’s seen him in concert more than once. We realized when the concert was first announced, months ago, that we would have to skip going this time around. Particularly since we just bought tickets to go see another concert this upcoming July. (Weird Al! Todd is over the moon excited about that one).

In any case, several people we know went to this concert and Todd and I got talking together about the last time we saw Bryan Adams in concert, three years ago. I surprised Todd at the last minute with concert tickets, since I knew how much he wanted to go. Of course I didn’t have the cash on hand, and so happily charged those tickets to my handy-dandy credit card. A card that I’m not proud to admit has been maxed to pretty close to its limit since then (give or take a few hundred dollars here and there).

As we talked about the concert we were missing vs. the concert that we’re attending in July, we were patting ourselves on the back a little bit for the fact that we paid for the upcoming concert ticket with CASH from our SAVINGS. This seemingly small thing feels like we’re definitely making progress in this whole financial department.

“You know, “ I pointed out, “we still actually haven’t officially paid for that concert we saw three years ago.”

Huh. It’s true though, isn’t it? Charging something on a credit card and not paying off the balance really isn’t paying for something, now is it? I’ll be honest, it was a bit of a wake up call to think about things on those terms. There have been plenty of things charged to that card over the last several years that I can’t even remember…things that still officially remain unpaid for. We’re spending thousands to dollars every year in interest, just making interest payments. On what? For the most part, I honestly can’t remember.

I’m left shaking my head at the thought of it.

I guess the good news is that we’re seen the light (Hallelujah!), we’ve made the necessary changes and we’re working on getting rid of this consumer debt once and for all. It’s going to take some more time, but soon we’ll be able to happily humblebrag about our financial situation, instead of cringe just a little bit when we think about it too long.

One thing I’ve noticed throughout this whole thing is that there is a certain amount of embarrassment attached to financial matters. Not just mine, but for other people as well. I’ve quickly learned, however, that this embarrassment is simply something that one has to shove to the side if you’re going to be successful at this budgeting/financial responsibility game.

I admit that when we first started using the cash system I felt a little bit embarrassed when I counted out my money at the cash register, particularly when I was spending a larger amount of money, like at the grocery store. I mean — cash? Seriously?WHO USES CASH ANYMORE??? I’m sure I saw a cashier or two roll her eyes as I dug around in my bag looking for change. Cash is just so…90s, isn’t it? I mean…plastic is totally where it’s at.

Except plastic is the reason why there are a lot of people in financial trouble, and certainly one of the reasons why Todd and I needed to make some major adjustments. So I’ve been working hard to let go of that embarrassment. I mean, shouldn’t it be MORE embarrassing to pay for a pack of gum with a credit card than cold, hard cash?

It all came to a head for me over the Christmas holidays. For New Year’s Eve, Todd and I planned a board game and home made sushi night with our three girls. I’d budgeted for the sushi supplies and we hit up the grocery store. The only thing we couldn’t get at our chosen store was smoked salmon…everyone’s favourite sushi ingredient.

We decided to head to a different store to see if we could get what we needed. I mentally noted that I only had 8-ish dollars left in my grocery budget. Of course, we had other money, it’s not like it was our last $8.00 in the world, but I’m committed to this whole sticking within my budget thing, dang it. Of course, truth be told, I was perfectly willing to go over budget and chip in some of my own personal spending money for this sushi venture; after all, it was a special occasion.

So without paying much attention to the price of the smoked salmon, I grabbed what I needed and headed off to the cash register.

Imagine how tickled I was to discover that the salmon came to exactly $7.99! And then I remembered — sure, I’ve got the exact amount I need, but it’s all in change. Small change at that. I pulled my handful of change out of my bag and started counting, albeit with some discomfort. Todd and I often joke around a lot when we’re waiting in lineups and such, and this was no exception. While I kept counting, he feigned impatience, cracking jokes in an attempt to embarrass me. I noticed that the gentleman waiting in line behind us was showing some signs of true impatience. I cringed inside more than a teensy bit.

As I finished counting the very last of my change, equaling precisely $8.00, I turned to the somewhat grouchy gentleman behind me, giggled, and said “Exact change! It was meant to be.” Todd and I skipped off, laughing together at how this random guy likely thought this crazy chick was spending the very last of all of her money on smoked salmon, of all things.

Financial embarrassment? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

….

….

….

….anymore.

*cough*
I’d love to hear if anyone else out there have experienced any moments of financial embarrassment, and if so, what you’ve done to move past them.

Kelly and I wanted to catch a movie over the weekend, but were trying to choose the right time to see it. We had a late breakfast and wanted to catch the movie as a Saturday matinee…maybe around lunchtime.

The problem is that we would want to snack on something during the movie. And let’s face it, any money you save by going to a matinee (it’s about $1.50 per person around here) is long gone by the time you get to the concession stand.

Let’s face it…movie theatres may complain about crumbling profit margins due to illegal online downloading, but jacking up the food prices to compensate does not make me a loyal customer. If you’re going to try to tell me that your bag of popcorn and soda from a fountain are worth $10, then you’re nuts.

I don’t mind paying a bit of a premium for a premium product, but the popcorn costs the theatre about $0.50 and they pop about the same. Sorry, but I don’t like dishing out $15 for a combo pack that includes a chocolate bar or bag of M&M’s.

And I realize that places like sport venues do that all the time. I mean, do I really want to spend $13.50 for a hot dog and a beer at a baseball game? No, but a sporting venue is an entirely different experience than a movie theatre. To me, it’s like comparing apples to oranges.

So when Kelly and I went out to our movie last weekend, we stopped off at the local Dollarama first. I picked up a bag of Kit Kat bites for $2 and a Dr. Pepper for $1. With taxes it came to $3.55. Kelly got a bag of chips, some Junior Mints, and a bottle of water for the same price. We put the items in her purse and walked straight into the theatre.

Now when you compare spending close to $40 in concessions for two people (after taxes) versus less than $10 from the local discount store, it’s really a no-brainer. Do we get hot, buttered popcorn? No, but I think we can survive two hours without it. What we DO get is some snacks for a major discounted price.

We’re not stealing from anybody (the Dollarama appreciates our business) and we’re going out on a date together. It’s sneaky, but it’s a money saver.

As much as I try to eliminate food waste – or lets be honest, here, even just cut downon food waste, this is something that I struggle with. And well, this dirty little secret of mine just doesn’t jive with our new money-saving, living frugally lifestyle, now does it?

A small bit of research tells me that our family isn’t alone in this. According to http://www.davidsuzuki.org, the average Toronto family discards around 275 kilos of food each year. Sure, most of that is sent for composting, but still, that means that one in four food purchases ends up going in the garbage. Wow. That’s a lot of money. I don’t know about you, but I sure would love to save 25% of my current food budget.

If you want to read some more stats about food wastage, the original article I found was here.

Now that Todd and I have been working with our new budget for a few weeks now, though, I’ve noticed something: A distinct decrease in our food wastage going on. Now that I’m food shopping more carefully and sticking to a budget, there is far less room for me to pick up some beautiful-looking fruits and veggies that weren’t on my list, just because they happened to tickle my fancy. Without those additional fruits and veggies, the food that we do purchase is getting used up, rather than allowed to sit there past their prime, until they eventually have to be tossed.

And leftovers? Well, they are also much more likely to get eaten, since this budget and food plan has me accounting for “extras”, so they can be reheated later for work lunches or even dinners on another night. We take our lunches to work every day from home, and Todd’s not much of a sandwich guy. So the more leftovers we have for work, the better, as far as he’s concerned.

Of course, the ideal situation for me would be to have pretty much zero food wastage going on. And while that’s a great goal to have, I’m not 100% sure that it’s completely realistic for us. At this point I’ll settle for a drastic cutting down, which, several weeks into our new budget plan is where we find ourselves. I’m excited by the possibility of being able to cut our food waste down even further in the coming weeks and months.

What about you, friends? Do you have a lot of food wastage in your house? What do you do to cut down on this? Any tips and tricks you’d like to pass along?