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04/28/2008 03:49 pm ETUpdated
May 25, 2011

Rev. Wright Launches Own 24-Hr. Channel

By Andy Borowitz

Pronouncing himself "thrilled" with his recent spate of media appearances, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright announced today that he will launch his own 24-hour network that will feature nothing but himself all day long.

Coming off his appearance with PBS' Bill Moyers and his televised speeches before the NAACP and the National Press Club, the preacher said that "one thing is abundantly clear: people just can't get enough of me on television."

By launching WrightTV, the minister said, "It is my sincere hope that I can quench the public's seemingly limitless thirst for hearing me talk."

While some media experts wondered whether Rev. Wright could produce enough content to fill a 24-hour channel, the preacher assured that "that won't be a problem at all."

"Once those cameras are on, I'll start talking," he said. "A bigger problem will be getting me to stop."

The minister added that it would take at least two weeks for the channel to launch, but said that in the interim he would schedule a series of other television appearances, on such programs as "Jeopardy," "Dancing with the Stars," and the hit teen drama "Gossip Girl."

While the Obama camp had no official comment on the Rev. Wright's new television channel, the concept got a ringing endorsement from another leading Democrat, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY).

"Speaking for myself, whenever I turn on the TV and see that the Rev. Wright is on, I am overjoyed," she said.

Elsewhere, Miley Cyrus said Vanity Fair's topless photos of her were "even more embarrassing" than being Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Calvin Trillin (The New Yorker), Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.