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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Burps, Farts and other Yucks

Buuuurrrrrrrpppp, s'cuze me!

Ffffrrrrrrrrrrrrppp, s'cuze me again!

So did you hear the one about the man who went to the bathroom to do number 2?...

Okay so here's the thing, if I can't beat 'em, I may as well join 'em right? After all, living in a house full of boys (hubby included) that's all I hear all day. None of them wants to talk about the latest shoe style. I have to admit, sometimes I wish for a girl.

There are days I feel quite outnumbered in my household. Boys, I think anyway, are dirty, messy, scruffly little beings. Their socks always stink, they have dirt and schmootz on their faces and fingers. I'm sure you could argue girls are the same, but boys are grosser.

And let's not forget about the bathroom practices!

Here's another thing. The average diameter of a stream of pee is about 2, 3 millimetres? The average diameter of the toilet bowl is, what, one foot or so? So how is it possible that the pee ends up on and around the toilet?

How can you possibly miss the john I ask?

Everytime my 8 year old pees there's a stream pee that goes off over the side of the pot to collect in a puddle on the floor. Am I the only one experiencing this joy?

Well anyway, boys are supposed to be "Mommy's boys", and all that. Lucky me. I get the shmotz and goo everytime I get a hug.

2 comments:

I comment to my husband all the time that since the snow has melted our kid is dirty all the time. Face, fingernails, clothes, hands....you name it. I live in hippie land.... "don't bath your kids too often it will depleat their skin of natural oils." F-that kid....get your butt in the tub and stay there 'till Momma's caught up on today's GH on YouTube.