Sick of this dumb blue, coated-in-garbage-and-Beliebers marble known as Earth? Head to Mars:

Mars One will establish a permanent human settlement on Mars. We invite you to participate by sharing our vision with your friends, and, perhaps, by becoming the next Mars astronaut yourself. (Via)

Here’s how it works: you upload a video of yourself explaining why you’re the one who deserves to die, i.e. go on a one-way-trip to Mars in 2023, and people can rate how much they like you. Currently, there are approximately 72 candidates, including the woman you see above, Ilona, a 23-year-old from Finland who “aim[s] to live a long, hearty life, only rich in experience and knowledge, fueled by ideas, inspiration, and questions.”

Here are other possible astronauts, surprisingly none of whom are Gary Sinise trying to get Mission to Mars 2 made.

I’m Beatriz, a Social Science student, I’m calm and quiet most of the time, but does not mean that I don’t know how to be strong when it’s necesserary. And I want to go to Mars because my curiosity and desire for the new drive me into the unknown. I want to be able to make reality what has always been just a childhood dream. And more than that, I want to make that dream something important to all the world! I want to be part of this that will be the first big step to conquer the universe! (Via)

My name is Martin Ariem Ramsey Solis, and yes my initials spell Mars. Ever since I was a child I have been fascinated by my namesake and now I believe that going to mars just might be my destiny. I was in the Boy Scouts for most of my childhood and I currently work as a security guard. (Via)

Hello. My name is Edijs. I am free from any disease, any dependency on drugs, alcohol or tobacco. My height is 175cm. I am open and tolerant of ideas and approaches different from my own. (Via)

I am the astronaut you are looking for. Well suited for the development of colony resources; both mechanical and biological. Childhood spent on a farm, helped develop my father’s Wireless ISP company. Philosopher at heart, but always a man of action. “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” (Via)

Hello! I’m Kendra and everyone’s lively little ‘alien’. I’ve been passionate about space exploration since I was a child and never thought this type of opportunity would arise. So, I’m very grateful and excited to apply! I’m the type of person who likes to inspire others and make them smile. Although some may see me as cute and childish, I’m actually very mature and often take on leadership roles. (Via)

My name is Stephan Guenther, I’m 44 years young, german and I’m “breathing” space since I remember! I’m self employed as a flight instructor and as a software developer, happily married and have 3 lovely kids. I developed several space flight simulations for PC, like an Apollo Simulator and a Space Shuttle Simulator, as the founder and owner of Space Dream Studios. My goal is to fly into space, at least orbiting the earth. (Via)

I greet you! My name is Anastasia, I am from Russia. I am a microbiologist, a poet and a dreamer. I have no bad habits, such as smoking, drinking alcohol, or use of other drugs. I am a kind and sociable person with a good sense of humor that does not leave me even in bad situations. In addition, I have the persistence, tenacity and determination, and I am curious. I can sympathize with people and understand them. (Via)

i think my average broishness would do well in space, they can’t have all scientists and dreamers because i think they’d get way too disillusioned if stuff goes wrong i could be there with my homespun blue collar wisdom to be all hey bro shit happens time to crack open a beer dude.

What? No bro that lives and dies by Franklin and Bash applied? Nobody wants to be the first one to have sex with a martian? For shame millennials! For shame!

I’d also be good for this expedition because I think logically, something those dreaming hippies clearly will not be able to handle when Big Daddy Mars makes his appearance to try and invade our species.