The opinions stated in this column are solely those of the author and not of The Davis Clipper.

As in the rest of the country, there is a growing movement among parents opposed to government-sponsored testing in the schools.

Most educators and business groups support testing (and the Common Core structure), claiming that today’s students are inadequately prepared for the workplace.

Opponents say the testing eats up too much instruction time and creates a one-size-fits-all curriculum, harmful to creativity.

There are valid arguments on both sides, though as a former high school teacher I fear the tests will not fully demonstrate what a student really knows or should know. However, if we are to have standardized tests, I submit that the questions should reflect real-life situations. Here are Cyclops suggestions for Utah students.

(1) Four LDS missionaries go to an event. Three drink lemonade and one drinks a Diet Coke. Which of the four missionaries is going to hell?

(2) A Salt Lake sports columnist wrote last week that Bountiful High (Braves) and Cedar City High (Redmen) should drop their mascots so as not to offend Native Americans. Which of the following mascots should the schools adopt to continue their ferocious sports tradition?

(a) The Sea Scallops

(b) The Desert Tortoises

(c) The Rat Terriers

(d) The Fighting Marshmallows

(e) None of the above

(3) Western rancher, Cliven Bundy lost support from conservative supporters when he said that African-Americans were better off picking cotton in the slavery era than they are today living free in urban communities. Mr. Bundy is a good example of

(a) Racism

(b) Too much green jello

(c) Too much time living in the desert with his cows

(d) Dementia

(4) Considering the size of the Democratic party in rural southern Utah, which would be the most appropriate site for their next convention?

(a) High school auditorium

(b) Coffee shop

(c) Telephone booth

(d) None; they should all move to Nevada and outvote Cliven Bundy

(5) Essay Question: If Hillary Clinton selected John Stockton as her presidential running mate, how would she fare among Utah voters? Explain in 75 words or less.

(6) Utah legislators appear ready to move the Utah State Prison and sell the prime suburban land to investors. Which types of structures would most likely settle in the area?

(7) Mr. Mac advertises one suit for $150 with a second suit for a penny. Calculate the total cost of your purchase of two suits, three shirts (buy one $26, second for half price, third for 10 cents), a pack of $5 black socks, and a $3 CTR tie pin.

The Cyclops questions have relevance and substance for Utah’s students. I’m available if the State School Board wants to call.