A good week/bad week for ...

A good week for ...

LatinBoris Johnson's latest suggestion is to teach Latin to children from less advantaged backgrounds to boost their chances of getting into university. He also called for more boxing academies, presumably because the ancient Greeks approved of the sport.

Gordon BrownWell, relatively speaking. Finally a chink in his dour armour, as Kathy Lette revealed the Prime Minister played the cheeky wine waiter at a 'girls night in' hosted by his wife Sarah. Lette reports the 15 women tried to pinch his bottom but 'he dodged our advances quite brilliantly'. He should take some of those feints into Prime Minister's Questions.

ApplesYe olde British apple is back. Prince Charles and the Co-operative have both snapped up collections of 1,000 rare varieties. They have plans to cultivate these historic apples and bring them back for public consumption. Worth it for the names alone, which we love... Ashmead's Kernel, Forty Shillings, the Bloody Ploughman and the Duck's Bill.

Rose TremainHaving been shortlisted for the Booker Prize, for Restoration in 1989, and the Orange Prize for The Colour in 2004, Rose Tremain has finally won a major literary award. Her novel The Road Home, a tale of a penniless immigrant, took this year's Orange Prize. Hurrah.

A bad week for ...

Eighties haircutsProfessor Marcus du Sautoy of Wadham College, Oxford, has explained that hairstyles sported by the Flock of Seagulls or Cyndi Lauper (pop performers, younger readers) were bound to flop because of their asymmetry, which runs contrary to evolutionary principles of attractiveness. They also looked daft.

Natural exuberanceThe Chinese government has launched the Olympic Four-Step, a cartoon strip to demonstrate to its traditionally reserved citizens how to wave their arms and chant effusively in preparation for the Beijing Games. The catchy slogan? 'Olympics, Go, China, Go!'

Hillary ClintonExpected to concede the US Democratic presidential nomination to Barack Obama in a speech last Tuesday, Hillary instead rattled off her swing state victories and claimed more votes. It took until next day for her to recognise Obama's victory. She perhaps deserves some recognition for the longest goodbye.

Anthony Hamilton.The father of Formula One star Lewis Hamilton has had to endure jokes about taking driving lessons from his son, after he ploughed a borrowed £330,000 Porsche Carrera GT through a hedge in Hertfordshire. To be fair, his son also crashed at Monaco two weeks ago. Though the younger Hamilton's challenge was a more testing one.