I'm surprised by the coincidence of the description of this board to my adventure that transpired just the other day!

So there I was, sitting by my desk, talking politics to the pigeons, the norm. The Ito's just got a couple more seats in the senate When all of a sudden, I see a gopher-No, a-a marmot, pop up from the window! Now this surprised me for a couple reasons, the first being the intrusion, the second was the fact that it scaled a building to get to this second floor!

While I was there, jaw dropped, this darn marmot picked up my piano! You'dn't've believed it if you saw it! The piano was probably twice the thing's weight!

So that's when I start chasing

I wasn't about to let some overgrown hairy ant take my piano!

Boy you should've seen that marmot run! Them things can run up to 63 Miles per Hour! Despite that fact, I was able to catch up to the darn thing after 10 minutes.

So there we were, heading towards the fields at 54 Miles per Hour, (It probably wasn't givin its all) when I pulled out the Remington. I can't remember whether it was the 870 or 700, but probably the latter. The Remington missed! Thinking, "Alright this things going too far" I pulled out the other Remington I had! (I think this one was a 700 too) I fired, it missed, ricocheted, and almost hit me in the foot. Fortunately I saw the bullet coming and dodged it.

Now the Marmot was getting away, and I couldn't let that! And that was when I noticed the barrel sticking out of a window in the shed. I started screaming out for whoever was in there to shoot the Marmot. It wasn't until after a couple minutes of shouting did I realize, it was in fact, not a rifle barrel, but a wine barrel.

After that I gave up on the chase. I saw the Marmot carry the piano down into its hole, quite impressively, may I add.

To this day, I can still hear the faint songs of the Marmots...

Go on home human farmers go on home! Have you got no farming land for your own? For 80 centuries, we fought your beings. And we'll fight you for 80 more!
And if you stay human farmers if you stay... You'll never ever beat the MRA! Those 14 Marmots you sought, will be the last that you fought. So take your guns, and leave us as you're done!
(Repeat after next line)
Oooh we'll fight some humans for the colony! We'll fight until we are free! Cause your humanity, only stretches to thee. So get out you human farmers leave us be!

Go on home human farmers go on home! Have you got no farming land for your own? For 80 centuries, we fought your beings. And we'll fight you for 80 more!
We're not gophers, we're not humans, we're not rats! We're Marmots! And proud we are to be!
So forget your farming toil You know!, we want back our soil!
It's Marmot's and Marmots it will be!

Go on home human farmers go on home! Have you got no farming land for your own? For 80 centuries, we fought your beings. And we'll fight you for 80 more!
And if you stay human farmers if you stay... You'll never ever beat the MRA! Those 14 Marmots you sought, will be the last that you fought. So take your guns, and leave us as you're done!
(x2)

Surely this is the most brazen exploit of a marmot that I've ever heard of. The trouble is, I cannot say we shouldn't see this sort of thing coming. We humans are effectively an "occupying force" to all of their territory, I predict that things will only get worse in the future. My view is we should just give them back their land and hope they eventually forgive us our misdeeds...

Oh, was there anything IN the piano to attract such attention? Maybe you just happened to have dropped a bag of berries in there, or had chosen to line the inside frame with some grass or leaves in order to improve the acoustics? In such a case perhaps the marmot simply stole the entire piano because it had no time to be more specific with its foraging!