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I have nothing new or interesting to say about Jason Taylor. I have no special insight into what's percolating inside the head of Bill Parcells. I've never watching Dancing With the Stars. And if I'm confronted with another Will-Parcells-trade-Taylor? story (with the requisite dancing analogy), I'm afraid my head will explode.

But I need the hits. So I'm asking the readers a question that has long nagged the great philosophers: Which dispute, if left to fester, most threatens the future of our republic: Parcells-versus-Taylor or Clinton-v-Obama?