It's bad manners for moviegoers to use their phones in theatres. But then again, it's bad manners to make a movie like 'Baaghi' and release it in these halls. To concretize this legacy of bad manners breeding worse manners, let me share with you my one-sided exchange of text messages during Sabbir Khan's 140-minute-long Tiger Safari. I usually take notes on my phone, but one thing led to another and I found myself frantically writing a mutant form of elaborate observations to a clueless friend.

Fri, 9.18 AM (via sms): Didn't know it was that bad. Tell her to at least consider not moving out. Anyway, trailers have begun. Will text you after it's over. (You on whatsapp?)

Fri, 9.50 AM (via sms): Tiger plays a Martial Arts wild-child named Ronny. He doesn't look like a Ronny. Two years after Heropanti, the kid still speaks with an accent. #BadKitty

Fri, 9.52 AM (via sms): Bad-ass Ronny has been hired by a dark-skinned South Indian film producer to "raid" some dark-skinned building in Bangkok and rescue their kidnapped heroine Sia (Shraddha Kapoor). #RaidRedemption #YouRemember #CopyCat #SaveTheTiger

Fri, 9.55 AM (via sms): Flashback. Ronny fell for Sia on a train ride, when she danced at a station. Rain apparently turns her on. What is it about Shraddha that compels directors to make her act all demented in slow-mo when she sees rain or snow or sunshine or air?

Rahul Desai is a full-time Federer enthusiast and avid traveller who absolutely must find a way to reach Europe once a year. In his spare time, he reviews films, aspires to own a swimming pool and whines about the lack of palatable food in Mumbai.