When my kids were younger, I was terribly nervous about handing them over to parents I didn’t know well for a playdate. I know there are free-range parents all over the place rolling their eyes at me, but I couldn’t help it. Statistically, I had faith my daughter would be fine. But emotionally, the “what if’s” would get to me. And I wasn’t alone.

Despite having a little anxiety over it, the playdates were arranged. There were the parents who just covered drop off time, address, and pick up time. There were others that asked about whether or not we had a dog, would the kids be supervised, if they would be outdoors long enough to need sunscreen, and– an awkward question– did we have guns, and, if so, were they properly secured.

I, too, have been known to ask the gun question. A friend’s recent experience has me going one step further: While out with a classmate’s family, her daughter learned Mom had a gun in her purse. My friend was horrified as this gun was in the car with her child and at the park with her child. She later learned that Mom had a concealed weapon permit, but got a knot in her stomach when that woman told her what a joke the process to get one was. She had no faith this gal had any expertise whatsoever, should she feel the need to draw that weapon and use it.

The number of concealed weapon permits in South Carolina, where I live, is on the rise. Data is only publicly available through 2010, but between 2006-2010, the number went from 30,787 to 119,340. And if the discussions in my local mom’s group on Facebook are any indication of who is getting these permits, it’s a lot of women.

Everywhere I look there are coupons for concealed weapon permit classes and shooting range experiences. That unnerves me. Not because women are being targeted, but the sheer number. The likelihood that I’ve been hanging out at the park with pistols in purses is pretty high. To some, that’s a good thing. To others, not so much. I can’t decide who is more paranoid – the mom who feels the need to carry a loaded weapon at all times or the one who worries about that?

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I grew up around guns, was taught gun safety, went to shooting ranges, and even learned how to load bullets when I was a child. I still won’t have a gun in my house, especially while my kids are so small. I don’t feel the need to have one for safety – heck, we have gone to sleep a few times having forgotten to close our garage and left the door unlocked. Nothing has ever happened, and I don’t expect it to. But I would worry constantly about curiosity overcoming any amount of instruction I give in regards to my little people being around a gun. I think the number of people with concealed carry permits is ridiculous, and the requirements for getting a permit are ludicrously easy. Our law enforcement officers have to constantly take classes, have time that has to be spent on the range, and handle and practice using their weapons regularly. But any Joe-schmo with $100 and a few hours to dedicate to a class can get a gun and have it loaded in their purse/pocket? Seems a bit irresponsible and ridiculous to me. I have three very small kids (age 5 and under) and they have never been in anyone’s house without me present. When they do start staying places without me I will be asking about guns in the home and on the parents. If I don’t like the answer I get, my child simply won’t be going to their house. Take offense if you want, but I refuse to put my child’s life in danger to protect someone’s feelings.

mtc

Getting a permit in MA is not as easy, they have become stricter over the last few years. So I am not uncomfortable with any parent that has a permit to carry, it is the ones who don’t have a permit that carry a gun that scares me.

mamato4

Getting a permit in my state is not easy–you even need to take a class first.

There is NO way to control all the nut jobs out there that are going to use their guns for harm (we can even control drugs in middle schools in this country!)

I am SO thankful that my husband, and several other people I know, are concealed carry permit holders, and exercise that right and privilege to carry their guns.

And if you are ever in a bank, playground, or mall and some mad gunman starts shooting, you will be SO thankful to the American citizen that exercised their rights under the Second Amendment to carry a firearm… so why would I have a concealed carry permit and carry a gun with me to the playground? To protect my children and myself (but i would carry it on body, not in a bag that a child could get into)

Danny’s Momma

It’s not that easy to get a permit where I live. I have a concealed carry permit, so I know the process well. I guess the only problem I’m having is I want to know how the kid knew she was carrying? Did the mom just come out and say “Hey kid, I have a gun!” Or did the kid see it? I’d be worried that she isn’t being as responsible as she should be if the kid knew about it. You’d never know when I carry unless I told you. Which brings me to another concern. I know that not everyone shares my views and before I take anyone elses kid in my care, the parents always know about my permit and any guns I have.

AS

That is terrifying. I know that my kid can be in my purse before I can blink twice and that just seems so unsafe to me. Unless she has a crazy ex or some reason to fear for her life, I think carrying around a gun in your purse to play dates is ridiculous. It is nice that we have the right to own a gun, but we don’t have to flaunt our right. There are a lot of rights I have that I don’t feel necessary to broadcast at play dates.

Here in NC guns are now allowed in bars and on playgrounds. Yay, safety!

AS

#3 – I agree with some of your sentiment, however do you feel that in an instant when someone starts shooting up a playground you could correctly identify the shooter and take him/her down with dozens of innocent bystanders running around and not hurt anyone else? I’d much rather someone try to tackle a gunman from behind or something than have 3 or 4 other people with guns now shooting in addition to the gunman.

Jessica

I see several people that have responded that it is not easy to get a CCW in their state, and I applaud that. However, I live in Ohio. All you have to do here is complete a 12 hour gun safety class, an average of two sessions and $100 locally, and take that class certificate to your local sheriff’s office. You will fill out an application with a $67 fee, get fingerprinted and have a background check done. Assuming your fingerprints and background check don’t turn up your history as a serial killer, you are golden. You can renew your license based off your original training class the next year – because of course you are still competent a year later because you spent that exhaustive 12 hours in a class once. I don’t know if this is similar to the process in other states, but to me this is ridiculously easy, and allows for far too many people with little real experience ready access to a gun. I have had more experience handling firearms, more recently, than what is required by law to keep one casually in my diaper bag. Yet I do not feel safe/competent enough to have that responsibility. So please forgive me for not believing for one second that just because you have one on you at the playground that the time a crazed person shows up and starts randomly firing into the crowd, you are suddenly going to go all Army sniper with your 9mm and accurately identify and target the shooter without causing more harm. I stand by what I said earlier, the vast majority if the people who are drawn to having this type of power at their disposal are not people I trust to have it, especially not around my kids.

Momof4

There are crazy people out there. There are bad apples. There are people who get off on hurting others. A lot of them do not use guns.

I know a lot of people do not have the same values as I do. Nor do they have the same ethics.

I want a concealed permit, and a hand gun. But, I won’t get it until I know I can handle the weapon like I do a rifle.

What I know is that most, not all, gun owners have a reason for owning, and usually do know what they are doing with a gun.

I would be concerned if the owner of the gun in the purse left her purse laying around. Not so much concerned if my kid was around a gun.

Gun owners and gun fearers both need to know how to educate thier children on gun safety. No one should fear a gun left alone, but everyone should fear a gun in the hands of someone not educated with it.

@AS – Just so you know, your scenario of the 3-4 added guns would be unrealistic. A real gun owner who is ethical, would not radomly shoot hoping to hit the offender. Gun owners who are trained right do not even put thier finger on the trigger until they are sure of thier shot and are ready to kill. It’s not like a western you see on TV.

Most gunmen in any case give up or commit suicide when faced with confrontation. And that includes just another being drawn and leveled.

http://expatcatlife.blogspot.com Jules

I would be very bothered. I have no faith in people to react properly to a threat–hell, even trained police officers don’t always shoot the right guy, and we’re supposed to trust an average Joe who has no idea how to assess a situation? I have still less faith in people to shoot straight and true when there are a million screaming kids running in all different directions.

I am not bothered by people owning firearms, provided that they are stored properly–locked away, with ammo in a separate locker. Kidlet’s grandfather is an avid hunter, who owns two beautiful shotguns–and has the proper storage facilities to them, and can be trusted not to leave his weapons lying around. Someone who doesn’t take pride in their ability to prevent accidents is someone I don’t want my kidlet around.

I just want to point out that it is more difficult to get a Kinder Egg (the kind with the toy inside) in the US than it is to buy a gun. What’s that say about priorities?

http://www.numbmum.com/ Betsy Shaw

@Jules. Sigh. Totally off topic but Kinder Eggs are they best and we miss them so. More, easily accessible Kinder Eggs would make the world a better place and possibly safer too because they make people happy. (:

http://expatcatlife.blogspot.com Jules

@ Betsy: LOL, I don’t even like the chocolate or the toy that much, but they’re just so much fun.

Sandra

Totally depends on who is holding the gun. I’d feel extremely confident should it be someone well-trained, who follows gun safety RELIGIOUSLY. If they were a “I-learned-myself-sorta” person, no, I would not allow my child on that playdate.

Generally I support women’s rights to protect themselves with guns and I support conceal and carry, and have seen it be effective in self-defense, but I would judge a particular playdate on a case by case basis, and also on the age of my child and their own knowledge and safety awareness of guns at that age.

My husband carries a concealed weapon because he is trained to in probably the most excellent way imaginable. I do not because I do not feel that I am capable or educated enough to use it the right way (at least with the current training I have) nor do I feel willing to take on the *enormous* responsibility it is to have one.

Even as gun owners we are VERY open with our fellows friends that bring their kids over, and 100% of them have been nothing short of impressed with the level of safety precautions taken in our house. More than one parent has asked us to help them secure their own guns or other safety tools properly. So I think its totally fine to ask and if someone is insulted, it shows they are not taking their gun safety responsibility seriously enough.

Sandra

Also had to second EXACTLY what Momof4 said: “@AS – Just so you know, your scenario of the 3-4 added guns would be unrealistic. A real gun owner who is ethical, would not radomly shoot hoping to hit the offender. Gun owners who are trained right do not even put thier finger on the trigger until they are sure of thier shot and are ready to kill. It’s not like a western you see on TV.”

I know multiple gun owners (all former law enforcement) and all follow that rule: They do not put their finger on the trigger until they are sure of the shot and are absolutely convinced of a need and a readiness to kill, should that need be presented.

I am for beefing up the courses people need to take prior to owning guns, but I do not have a problem with very competent and gun-educated adults owning and carrying guns.

I think its important to understand to those who may know less about guns, consider the following scenario: You own a gun and also a car. You are approximately 243 times more likely to kill someone with your car than your gun. I would be just as concerned or MORE about how safe of a driver the parent is, and how able she/he is to drive in difficult circumstances as I would be about their gun safety (not to diminish the importance of gun safety at ALL, only to state that safety in general should be looked at on a broad spectrum, to include dogs, cars, kitchen knives, etc.) Generally speaking, an extremely aware, trained and responsible person is responsible with all those categories, whereas a less responsible, less trained, less aware person will be irresponsible with all of those categories.

mamabadger

This scenario makes me nervous for just the reason Momof4 and Sandra point out- no one with an ounce of common sense or training would leave a gun in their purse, or fire it with lots of kids and parents around. So what the heck is it doing at a play date? I assume you’re not carrying a gun into my house, so it’s going to be in a public place.

No right minded gun owner I know would do this. They all realize that in the heat of the moment, they would be worried about their own kids, worried about friends and their kids. They would NOT be reaching for a gun and trying to assess the shooter. It’s not realistic.

It’s the people who think they will be able to do this and carry their gun around that make me nervous. If you’re going to carry a gun and leave your kid to play the hero? I don’t want you near my kid. That’s just my two cents.

Kim

I have a permit and I don’t carry. Why? Because my husband does carry and if I’m ever pulled over and his gun is in the car I’m protected. Without that permit I would be arrested for illegally carrying a firearm.

Not everyone with a permit carries everywhere. Some people have the permit just to aquire, like collectors. Some don’t have pistols but instead shoot skeet or hunt.

Also, a purse is a stupid place to carry. There’s no guarantee you can get to it fast enough to be effective.

My 3 year old knows what a gun is, never to touch it, and that it is not a toy. We are very careful about gun safety in our house and all of my husband’s friends from the range (many with children at home) are equally careful.

Sandra

I think you may have misunderstood, MamaBadger. Sometimes using the gun IS being the hero. My husband and other gun owners I know would absolutely secure their children and family AND use their gun and are quite adept at doing all three (and often additional tasks as well) simultaneously. It is a difference in training and ability and yes, I FULLY recognize I am not capable of doing this and would be better off simply trying to work on grabbing child and running.

Bee

Ya know, if I was going to worry about a playground shooting (which I don’t) I would be far more concerned about the potential killer than on wild speculations that MAYBE someone else will have a gun and MAYBE they’ll try to fire it and MAYBE they’ll miss and MAYBE they’ll accidentally hit my child. And maybe we’ll be struck by lightning too, but I still let my kids play outside.

Guns are scary because they are designed to be potentially lethal and do it heart-breakingly well – but as #13 Sandra said, there are many many other potential dangers out there. How many moms have some Tylenol or Pamprin or other drugs in their purses? My mom carries some very potent pills since she is prone to migraines, and I don’t think they are in a child-proof container. Heck even vitamins and toothpaste can be dangerous! (ie iron & fluoride poisoning) In some ways I’d be less concerned about a parent actually carrying their gun than leaving their gun in a room in the house, since (as far as I know) most child injuries or fatalities are from playing with an unattended gun.

D.S.

Not bothered at all. My husband has his CCW and carries (though leaves it in the car at parks and such). He’s extremely safe and many times I forget he even has it. So no, I wouldn’t be bothered if a mom who was licensed had it in her purse. It shouldn’t be bragged about or talked about anyway–that’s the point of it being concealed.

Personally, I am not sure I would carry if I had my permit. I do plan on getting my permit but solely for when I go someplace on my own.

Shelby

I have my CCW and yes, I take my gun with me everywhere I’m legally allowed to carry a concealed weapon. I’ve taken extensive training classes and it is difficult to obtain a CCW in my state. I do carry a gun in my purse, in a special CCW purse with a special compartment that holds the gun in a holster and can be locked. I’ve also explained to my children what to do if I ever have to draw my weapon with them nearby. It’s scary to think about that scenario, but there are real threats against people that necessitate this and it’s very close-minded of anyone to think a playground is a safety bubble. I’ve also practiced scenarios in advanced training classes of how to best handle a situation where you would draw your gun with children around (but without actual children in the training, just the scenario with adults acting as a child would). Before you be so quick to judge someone with a CCW that exercises their right to utilize it, consider they may have a good reason for it and train extensively.

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