Since I was a lad, I have enjoyed fine cinema. In those days, films were written and performed properly. With a dignified vocabulary and diligent diction. Alas, those days have gone the way of the dodo. Class and manners have been usurped by poorly constructed idioms and distasteful vulgarity. Therefore I have put my quill to parchment and rewritten some of the most famed movie quotations as a proper Englishman would have uttered them.