Alright, you're linking up your Game Boy Advances to play a game of Zelda: Four Swords. Which player are you?

I SHOULD be player one. I organized this whole get-together. I better be player one, or else! I don't care, just hand me a link cable. Fine, I'll be player four, let's play already!

You've avoided strangling each other with link cables and have made it to the map screen. Which dungeon do you think should be done first?

Chamber of Insight. We should learn how to use our equipment first. Sea of Trees. There's gotta be tons of rupees hidden in all those bushes. Talus Cave. Watch your step on those icy floors. Really, I'd just HATE to see you fall into a bottomless pit. Death Mountain. If we can conquer it, the others will be a piece of cake.

Finally, you've entered a dungeon and the game is on. What's your first priority?

You've come to a room that requires all four of you to work together. How are you handling it?

Still searching for that last rupee shard. I'll be there in a minute! Trying to get everyone together to clear it. I swear, the others have no coordination whatsoever. Checking for anything we might have missed. Don't be in such a rush. Facing an internal struggle. Large pits and moving platforms ... so tempting.

Eventually the room is cleared, after much arguing and falling into pits and traps. As a result, you're all almost dead and now you've got to fight a bunch of Stalfos Knights. What's your battle plan?

Gah! You guys take care of the enemies, I'm just going to try and stay alive. Work together and don't let them corner you! Ha, even in my weakened state they don't stand a chance against me. Be careful! We'll lose fifty rupees if someone dies!

You barely managed to defeat the Stalfos Knights and now there's a heart container in the next room. What's your argument for who should get it?

I deserve it, I'm always the one pulling us through. Someone else get it, you'll be a better shield that way. I'll let someone else have it. They probably need it more. Screw the argument! *yoink!*

On to the second level of the dungeon. What are your thoughts?

There's more? Bring on the boss fight already and let's get this over with while I'm ahead. A new level means new treasure. Let's get to looting, boys! Don't get cocky, this will be harder than the first. Sweet, this level is even more interesting.

Oh no! You've encountered a group of Wizrobes and one of the Links has died! What's your reaction?

Dangit, be more careful! It cost us fifty rupees to revive you! We've got more than enough rupees, fifty won't matter. Just don't let it happen again. Weakling. I'm going to trample you in the rankings. See, this is why I avoid monsters.

The way to the third level is now open and it's boss fight time. What are you yelling amid the chaos of battle?

Hahahaha! I am SO going to slash you a new one! AHHHHH! How are we supposed to beat this thing?! After we kill it, make sure you grab one of the fairies before getting any rupees so that we'll get double the amount! Find its weakness and bring it down together!

Whew! You made it through the dungeon, managed to beat the boss, and even gained one of the keys you need to unlock Vaati's Palace. But how did you do in the rankings?

1st place, baby! I rule! Who cares? All I know is that we got OVER FIVE THOUSAND rupees! Only 3rd place, but what really matters is that we got the key. 4th place. I don't bother with rupees.