Interview About Marriage, 6/29

I’m at my friend Dina’s job downtown. I’m smoking a merit ultra light. Inside. In her office. I love that. She works for this website.

I’m about to interview her friend Nancy. She just showed me a small sculpture her ex gave her of two elephants fucking. He gave it to her before they started dating. He’s got balls.

Nancy says:“Besides the fact that we are the most beautiful girls in Alexandria, there seems to be, ya3ni, some kind of difficulty in finding the men, you know. It’s not that something’s wrong with us, but I think the society is the problem…the society we’re dealing with; the mentality; the lack of entertainment, hangouts, pubs, activities,” says Nancy. A co-worker walks in, spreads a prayer mat, and begins praying. Nancy continues: “It’s narrowed down from 10 to 7 at work…there’s the mustachioed Magdy, the even bigger-mustachioed Alaa; Walid and Wael with the tight jeans.

Those are the only guys I see…after work I see my girls… our hangout is Karfour- a city center hypermarket. But…it’s OK. I’m a 29 year-old virgin. I don’t want to go to any western countries because of this… I don’t want to seem like a geek.”

A co-worker enters with a large shopping-bag full of chips. The girls scream with joy.

“If you know any Muslims over the age of 29 willing to marry (but no Pakistanis, please) please come drink boiled flowers [hibiscus tea] and I can consider marrying them.”