This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:

Capella Black says:Ok, now that is a real protagonist. I really like how you've been so upfront about this character's flaws and imperfections. It's left me torn between identifying with him, and wanting to yell at him, and that's actually really rare. As a result I'm intrigued to know more. Why has he got this way? What's the rest of his family like? And what's happened with his dad? And what's really great is that these questions don't feel forgotten about, or ignored. There's a real sense of drawing me in and making me want to know more.

I also like the way you describe what's going on. There's nothing flowery, and no unnecessary description. Instead there's just enough for us to get the image of it all - each description adding more than the actual words themselves. For example, the stubby pencil for some reason makes me think of someone who just uses whatever he can find, and who doesn't care about opinions or having the best. Not what I expect from a potter, and so very evocative. Sometimes the sentences do get a bit long for me, and could do with a comma, but other than that it's pretty darn near perfect!

Thanks for sharing this with us, and please let me know when more's up!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review!! I'm so glad you like the story, and the characterization of James. It means a lot to me, especially with a newer story like this. Thanks again!