Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Apparently he had been circling our table for a while, but we hadn't noticed.

[He found this increasingly frustrating.]

But I am ahead of myself.

After making absolutely SURE that the Loch NessScotch would never be seen again, Deana and I hitch hiked to the north eastern coast of Scotland and took a ferry to the Orkney Islands.

[Known for their disturbingly small ponies.]

After spending a lot of time at the wharf pretending that the ferry horns were the sound of my mighty wind escaping, we found our way to the local pub.

It was 10:30 p.m., but we were so far north that outside the windowless bar room it was still quite sunny.We did not yet know that drinking (excessively) in an establishment without windows in the far north of Scotland would result in the eerie experience of stumbling out to broad daylight at midnight only to find yourself surrounded by a swarm of short, fat ponies.

[Effing scary Shetlands.]

Anyway, Deana and I were in the bar talking to each other about the year 1066, the Battle of Hastings and the awesomeness of flipping ones bean, when we failed to notice the tall, lanky guy circling.

Finally he gave up and came up to our table.

"When are you guys going to notice me?" he asked.

[Some line, we thought.]

"Seriously, I've been trying to get your attention for an hour. I'm by myself. You have to adopt me," he said.

He was really tall.

[He even had really tall arms and legs.]

His face kind of reminded us of Howdy Doody... if Howdy Doody had grown up to be handsome.... and really, really tall.