Dick Cheney's Apocalyptic Endorsement of Marco Rubio

​To hear former Vice President Dick Cheney tell it, if Florida voters don't elect Marco Rubio as our next senator, we'll soon live in a socialistic hellhole where terrorist attacks are scheduled every hour on the hour. Yes, the scariest vice president in history officially endorsed Rubio today and then took some shots at everyone's favorite punching bag, Charlie Crist.

"Our country is at a crossroads facing threats from abroad and attempts from within to restructure the very foundation of our freedoms," Cheney wrote ominously. "America requires leaders to face down these challenges who are confident in who they are and what they stand for. Leaders who know that public service is about something bigger than climbing the political ladder and amassing greater political power."

"Marco is exactly the kind of a strong conservative leader we need in Washington right now. We can trust Marco to stand up to the Obama agenda that threatens our freedom, and promote clear conservative alternatives. Marco has proven we can trust him to stand strong in his principles regardless of poll numbers and protests."

Really? Marco Rubio isn't influenced by Tea Party protests at all?

Then Cheney set his sights on Crist.

"Charlie Crist has shown time and again that he cannot be trusted in Washington to take on the Obama agenda because on issue after issue he actually supports that agenda. Lately it seems Charlie Crist cannot be trusted even to remain a Republican. I strongly urge him to either stay in the Republican Primary or drop out of the race. The only winners from an independent bid by Crist would be Barack Obama and Harry Reid."