Good Morning

It was a cold day. As I turned around and try to fall asleep, I
pulled the blanket higher and tried to snuggle in. As I opened my
eyes, the clock stared back mockingly. It was 5 in the morning.
Defiantly trying to overpower the hangover, I tried to pull
myself up. I couldn't. Ignoring the fact that I'm going to be
late, I turned and tried to embrace Laura's warmth. Patting the
empty space of the bed, I realized something-- she wasn't there.
I opened up my eyes, and welcomed gazed upon the blank ceiling. I
remembered something: my wife, my pregnant wife, was murdered
right before my very eyes.

Everything began to set in. The anger, hatred, sorrow, and every
damn feeling that makes people feel like total shit started
stirring in my head. I got up, and mumbled "What's the point of
it all," to myself. As I walked towards the drawer across the
room, I passed all the pictures that Laura and I took in our
vacation in the Bahamas. I'd kill to see her smile like she did
in those pictures once more. As I opened the drawer, I looked for
the thing that would help me forget about everything. As I pushed
all of my office materials to the side, I saw it stare back at
me. It's shiny silver color glimmering as the sun shined its
early-morning rays on it. I greeted it with a smile and said
"Hello there, friend." As I took the object out of the drawer, I
thought to myself if I should really do this. Without any form of
regret left, I pulled out my revolver.

"To hell with it all," I said, as I turned the gun, and pointed
the barrel at my temple. I tried to think of regrets, and things
to live for, but I had none. The woman that I loved, and my child
was gone; murdered, right before my very eyes. It only started to
hurt more when I thought of the things I could have done to save
them. I tried to well up tears at the very least, but I couldn't.
Somehow, I just can't. Maybe I've finally ran out of tears to
shed. As I closed my eyes, I began to bring the hammer of the gun
back. I tried to come up with something, a silver lining in my
mess of a life, but I couldn't. Taking a deep breath, I started
to pull the trigger, and began counting down. Three. "I wonder
what my life would've been with Laura after we settled down and
had two kids." Two. "What would've been a good name for our
child. I was really hoping we would've agreed on Ralph. What kind
of sport would I have had him play. What would it be like to sit
on the bleachers during the weekends, screaming his name as he
serves up an ace against some other poor kid. I wonder...I
wonder." One. "Now that I think about it, did I even see that son
of a bitch's face as he stabbed my wife?"

Suddenly, I had lost all the resolve that I had to end it all.
Come to think of it, I haven't even seen the face of my wife's
murderer. At the very least, I want to see the bastard get
caught, and at the very very least, watch him get the death
penalty before I go. I looked out the window, and drank in the
view of the mellow shade that the sky took after. I smiled. "I
can't believe it, I'm actually smiling," I thought. With the
smile came the tears. With the tears came the giggle. With the
giggle came the laughter that filled the whole room. As my
laughter died down, I looked down and gave my gun a joyous look,
and whispered "There's my silver lining."