Big bum

It’s quite simple really. My son is learning to talk and is at the stage where he repeats random words and phrases. This is extremely exciting for a parent but it does make life fairly difficult. It feels a little bit like a job interview – every word counts as he is analysing it all; just waiting til I say something wrong.

But in this case it wasn’t me who uttered an ill-advisable phrase. I was having lunch with a friend when Sam dropped something onto the floor. Naturally, I bent over to pick it up. In the process of doing so, however, I knocked something else off the table. Anything falling to the ground/hitting someone on the head/doing something unexpected is comedy gold to a toddler, so Sam let out a little squawk of laughter. My friend leant towards him and whispered conspiratorially, ‘Mummy knocked that off the table because she has a big bum’.

Smile…then: ‘MUMMY BIG BUM!’

Cue both adults bursting into laughter, resulting in a very proud-looking Sam and multiple repetitions of said phrase. I tried to explain that Mummy hasn’t really got a big bum; it is just out of proportion with her small boobs. But to no avail.

He still says it now whenever conversation goes anywhere near the topic of bums (and as we are half into the process of potty training, the recurrence of that subject is all too frequent). He also says it when he feels conversation is not flowing as it should be…as in the case of the dentist’s waiting room. Thanks Sam.

My friend is mortified that the first offensive thing she has ever said to me will now be something that I, and everyone else who meets Sam, will remember for a lifetime.

Poor Sam tho, he might mock me now but he shares half my DNA…I hope for his sake it’s the flat chest he inherits!

Haha better not be! He sometimes says what he’s painting but luckily nothing unflattering yet (and as it’s just one big splodgey mess I would definitely tell people it was a picture of a flower or something)! Unfortunately, as an adult sized person trying to play in a toddler sized world, I constantly have him saying ‘Mummy too big’. Does nothing for the self esteem!!