Entrepreneurial Tightrope: Get support from within

Dec. 18, 2012
|

Look for support from within first. / Thinkstock

by Gladys Edmunds, for USA TODAY

by Gladys Edmunds, for USA TODAY

Hi Gladys, I have been in my own business since I graduated from college. I own a children's clothing store and I have been very successful. I have received many awards for entrepreneurial excellence and have affluent and influential customers, yet my husband doesn't seem to notice nor support my achievements. Sometimes I feel he doesn't approve of my success. How can I get him to be more supportive? -- A.V.

The desire to look to others for endorsement can be a warning sign that you are losing touch with yourself.

Reconnect. Reflect on the many successes you have had, large and small, not only in your business but also in your personal life. This will help to give you a renewed sense of strength and flexibility and help you attract the external support you need.

For example, did you get a large order from a customer that you weren't expecting? Did you drop those last few pounds? Perhaps you finally trained the dog to signal when he wants to go out? Or recall one day last week when you managed to get everything checked off on your "to do" list?

These are absolute accomplishments and confidence restorers. They make you feel good and give you a sense of renewal. Usually when we are feeling good about something we radiate an energy others can feel and pick up.

Ever observe the preparation of a marathon runner? His attention turns to himself. He trains his body and mind for endurance, strength and flexibility. His viewpoint is that his body, mind and spirit will be his sole support. He doesn't think about who will be out there to cheer him on.

When the marathon day arrives, he enters the race with his mind, body and heart ready to win. And standing all along the trail are supporters, not one of whom the runner gets caught up in. He has entered this race for himself - just like you entered your business for yourself.

Now, let's look at the runner's supporters. There are those who want a direct connection, and run along the sidelines with him, while others stand by to hand him cups of water as he dashes by. There are those who cheer and some who bring neither water nor cheers. Their contribution is to just "be there." Each plays his part, showing support.

The runner now shifts gears, running not only for himself, but also for those watching and pulling for his victory. And just feeling that they believe in him is enough to establish a connection.

Connection and support in a relationship is also a two-way street. Take time regularly to enjoy your life with your husband away from business. And don't discuss the business. Just enjoy each other's company.

Think about all the ways he showed support for you as a person. Most likely you will discover that sometimes he was the water-bearer, and other times he stood on the sidelines and cheered you on. Sometimes he jumped in and ran the race with you. When you examine this, you will know his support crosses all barriers, even when he can't display it in a way you recognize.

From time-to time, play the role of the runner. Build yourself from the inside out. And don't worry about the supporters. They will be there â?? when you need them, your spouse included.