On The Aire Presents: Top 10 Finishers

With WrestleMania in full swing, I felt it was necessary for me to step back for this week and stop analyzing every single match on the card endlessly. It was making what little brain I have left melt. You can only analyze that card so much before it drives you to do bad things to house pets. So before any of that happens, I pulled out a Top 10 I had been saving for a while: Finishers.<!--more-->What makes a good finisher? To me, it needs to have two main ingredients. First, it needs to be flashy and make the audience get excited. Whether the move itself does that, or doing some sort of signal to show it’s coming, a good finisher should make everyone get their butts out of their seats in anticipation for the move. Then when it does happen, everyone is excited, and they know that most likely, the match is over. Secondly, the move needs to have a bit of realism to it. If a move looks like it could end up being realistically painful, it makes for a better finisher. When guys do moves that have been done in “regular” situations in matches (case in point, an elevated fireman’s carry…aka John Cena’s Atittude Adjustment), it takes some of the realism out. If that move did nothing in a match between two guys earlier, why was it good now? With that, if us smarks know that the move is dangerous enough that if the timing is just off, could it actually do damage? Then that helps. A 3rd minor ingredient is when the move can “come out of nowhere”. Nothing better than thinking you are watching the middle of the match, and all of a sudden a guy hits his finisher and the match is done.With all that being said, let’s jump into my Top 10 Current WWE Finishers.Honorable MentionsJustin Gabriel’s 450 Splash – There’s just something about seeing a grown man do a diving board maneuver onto another human being that is fun. His finisher has lost some of its luster on me, just due to the fact that he is a bit of a jobber and doesn’t get to use it that much. Maybe he should try a cannonball or a can opener next time.Big Show’s Weapon of Mass Destruction – When you have the hand the size of a golf cart, and it’s attached to a tall oak tree, you should stop just choke slamming people, and instead just knock them the f#*k out. When Show took a sabbatical and lost weight, he also trained a bit in boxing. When he came back, the WMD was born. He still likes to give the old choke slam its due, but his main finisher now is just a hard punch to the jaw with his massive fist. It’s as big as my entire head. That’s scary.Daniel Bryan’s LaBell Lock – YES! YEEES! Not to go full internet wrestling nerd but I actually liked Bryan’s old submission “Cattle Mutilation” more. But the LaBell lock, aptly named after legendary R&B singer Patty LaBell, works extremely well too.The Top 10 is fairly varied. Some submissions, some high flying and acrobatic moves, and some that can be pulled off in the blink of an eye. In this day and age, it has become fairly difficult to find and bring to life any wrestling moves that have not been pulled off before. Let alone to find something that looks devastating enough to be called a finishing maneuver. These 10 however, embody those who use it, and are perfect to finish off their opponents.10) Tyson Kidd’s Sharpshooter – So this is a tiny bit of a cheat, but I don’t care. Shut up. The sharpshooter is one of my favorite moves of all time, submission or not. It puts pressure on so many different areas: The knees, the legs, and the lower back. It’s also somewhat of a quick move to slap on. Those that use the move, when they aren’t playing up to the crowd, have their opponent screaming in pain seconds after standing over their lifeless legs. Tyson Kidd embodies the Harts with this move, and it always just looks painful as hell, even though you know they aren’t putting a ton of pressure into it. But we’ve all wrestled around in the backyard, and someone has put you in a sharpshooter. It hurts.9) Evan Bourne’s Air Bourne Shooting Star Press – He’s still employed right? I’m sure the fact that he is a high flyer, and got suspended for being high all the time has not been lost on anyone. None of this changes the fact that he might have one of the prettiest off-the-top moves in the history of the business. The story goes that before Vince would let Bourne use it as his big finale; he had to do it perfect a hundred times. I think he did it five times, and Vince had him do it ninety-five more because he was amazed. He gets so much air, and just flips and arcs his back so fluently that he honestly makes it look super easy. Ask Brock Lesnar. NOT super easy.8) Kofi Kingston’s Trouble in Paradise – Maybe I’ve watched way too much karate movies, MMA, and Power Rangers…but I love kicks to the face. Add in a bit of a jumping corkscrew roundhouse to it? It’s a recipe for awesomeness. Kofi’s finisher hits on everything I love about a match-ending move. It’s flashy and has a “wind-up” approach (aka when he starts “booming” up his hands in anticipation) so you know it’s coming, and looks cool as hell when executed. On top of that, it can damn near come out of nowhere, and if for some reason his opponent wasn’t watching carefully, he could legitimately knock you out stupid.7) Cody Rhodes’ CrossRhodes/Beautiful Disaster – Cheating Part Deux. Don’t care. I love both of these moves equally. CrossRhodes just looks difficult as hell to pull off. It’s like a rolling variation of a cutter, and obviously seems easier to pull off on smaller guys. But it’s a thing of beauty when it’s executed properly. Cutters always look cool, as we will see soon. On the other hand, his springboard kick is flashy and can be done to anyone due to him being able to get height off the ropes. The cutter is his power move, but the Beautiful Disaster kick brings the quick and painful.6) Beth Phoenix and Natalya’s Pin-Up Strong Submission – Are they already not doing this, because if so…sad panda. What an amazing submission they created. Nattie’s been doing the Sharpshooter for years, but all of a sudden added a bridge too it, causing their opponent’s body to be contorted and pushed skywards, then added a chin/facelock at the end. It’s like the hot fudge sundae of submissions. When the move was applied, Kelly Kelly, or whoever the victim was, would scream in pain. Hot. Its downfall is the fact that there is no way in hell they could put most of the men in it. I’d let them try though.5) Undertaker/Kane’s Tombstone Piledriver – Tombstone’s are always awesome. The ones in the graveyard are creepy as hell, the movie Tombstone was filled with Val Kilmer’s awesomeness, and the pizza is surprisingly delicious. The end move for Taker and Kane is special because it just looks so cool (and somewhat homoerotic) and reminds us of days past. Piledrivers are not allowed in the WWE anymore, but these two are still able to do them. It’s no wonder though. As soon as they leave their feet, there’s only a small fraction of head clearance on the mat before their opponent is in a ton of pain.4) Alberto Del Rio’s Cross-Arm Breaker – Simple, yet eloquent. Like a finely tuned fighting machine. Del Rio’s Arm-Breaker is damn near a masterpiece. Being the enjoyer of MMA, seeing a move done that has actually snapped arms in the ring gives Del Rio’s finisher instant credibility. Add in his short background in the world of “real fighting” (check out his fight…or lack of with Mirko Cro Cop) and it gives Del Rio, himself, credibility to use the move. Then sprinkle in his theatrics, as well as how he can put it on while his opponent is standing OR on the ground, and you have something that is believable, fast, and awesome to watch.3) C.M. Punk’s Go To Sleep – Is this move so high because of my love for all things CM Punk, or the fact that this exact thing was done to me in a fight in middle school and I am pretty sure I have brain damage? Your pick. Punk’s MMA-style background leads him to having dangerous knees and legs. It makes perfect sense that he would use a fairly simple, yet awesome knee to the face to win his matches. It just looks brutal, and hard to “fake”, which puts it so high on my list. Did I mention brain damage? I can smell the color blue, you know…2) Randy Orton’s RKO – The cutter has always been one of my favorite moves of all time. It’s quick, dramatic, loud, and can get the crowd going nuts. Should not be hard to believe something so cool was innovated by Mr. Excitement himself, John Laurinaitis. Randy Orton has got his version of a jumping cutter down perfectly. He can do it so quick that you literally miss it if you aren’t watching closely. His antics prior to taking someone out by slithering around the ring on his own sweated-off baby oil just makes it that much more “fan-friendly”.1) Sheamus’ Brogue Kick – The RKO used to be my favorite for the longest time, but it has been surpassed by an angry hulk-sized ginger kicking the living hell out of someone’s face. It’s so simple, yet so barbaric, raw, and powerful. Sheamus is a big boy, so when he winds up for a bicycle kick to the face using his 6’4’’, 270 lb. frame…it’s a scary sight. He rarely makes it look “fake” either, so it just looks like he kicked off his opponents’ head. The fact that he does it so quickly, yet so powerful makes such a simple move look unbeatable, and is a perfect finishing move…and is my favorite one in the WWE right now.So there it is. What do you guys think? Have a favorite not listed? Think a move I have listed is too high or low? Let me know in the comments section below.You can also follow my misadventures on the twitter, and talk rasslin with me. @OSUmike03

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