Masturbation -A Disastrous Problem Faced By The Youth

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Every harm is the result of sins. Hence, the harms of masturbation proves that it is a sin. Why should it not be so when sins are the root of misfortune and the key to all vices. Ibne Qayyim (Rahmatullahi alaihi) says:

“The reason for every loss, misfortune and evil in this world and the hereafter is sin and opposing the Lawsand Commands of Allah Ta’ala. Moreover, sin destroys bounties and blessings as fire burns wood.” It is possible to divide the harms of this vile act as follows:

SHAR’I (RELIGIOUS) HARMS

The Shar’i harms are many. Some of them are as follows:

A decrease in taufiq (success granted by Allah Ta’ala ); corrupt ideas; hard-heardtedness, an aversion towards people, cheerlessness in the heart and to be deprived of knowledge. The greatest spiritual harm caused by this evil act is the inability to remain steadfast on Deen. As long as a person is entangled in this evil habit, shaytân will gradually remove him from his friends until he dislikes their company. Thereafter, shaytan will draw him into the mud of desires until he is deprived altogether from remaining steadfast on Deen.

How many youth have been deprived of Tahajjud, fasting, recitation of the Qurán, acquiring knowledge, associating with friends, etc. because of the commission of this evil. A person who commits this sin becomes weak in front of shaytân and his nafs-e-amrnarah (lowly-self) instructs him to do evil. Hence, he will not have the ability to oppose his nafs in order to carry out the Commands of Allah Ta’ala. Hasan Basri (Rahmatullahi alaihi) has said: “A person deprives himself of performing Tahajjud by committing sins.”

Moreover, masturbation causes the bladder to become weak. Consequently, involuntary urinal and seminal discharges occur from the private parts. This causes complications in wudhu, salaah and cleanliness of the clothes.

PHYSICAL HARMS

Undoubtedly, masturbation causes physical harm -although some have exaggerated its harms – nevertheless, medical science has proven that masturbation is a cause of a number of diseases. Amongst them are:

1. It weakens the sexual organs and creates partial looseness in it.

2. It weakens the nerves generally – a result of the exertion caused by this action.

3. It affects the growth of the limbs especially the outer part of the urethra (duct through which urine is discharged from the bladder and the testicles). Hence it does not reach the limit of it’s normal growth.

4. It creates seminal (spermatic) inflammation in the testicles which causes quick ejaculation of sperm.

5. It causes pain in the vertebra column, the spinal column from which semen is ejaculated. This pain creates crookedness and twisting in the back.

6. It causes some limbs like the legs to shake and shiver.

7. It creates weakness in the cerebral glands of the brain which, in turn, weakens the power of perception and reason. Similarly, it leads to the weakness of memory.

8. It weakens the eye-sight and reduces its normal limit of vision.

9. It causes a person to become old before time.

10. It weakens the very delicate and fine nerves and veins of the sexual organs resulting in sexual impotency.

11. It causes an excessive loss of sperm by way of nocturnal emission (wet dreams).

12. It decreases the natural resistance of the body.

13. It causes harm to the four principal organs in the body viz, the heart, brain, liver and stomach.

14. It decreases the natural animal heat in the body, heat which strengthens the soul and body.

15. It causes an excessive loss of blood. Remember it takes 80 drops of blood to produce one drop of sperm. (Tajjus Sihat, pg 11)

16. It weakens the bladder.

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SOCIAL HARMS

1. The psychologists say: “Here the awareness of a misdeed and the feeling of a sin occurs to those youth who practice this vile act in such a way that within themselves there is struggle between the desire to practice this vile act and the remorseful feeling of a sin.”

2. Excessive practice of this vile act leads to cowardice, an increase in nervous agitation, no confidence in oneself, overwhelming disgrace, a decrease in the urge to study and desire towards isolation and introversion.

3. Similarly, excessive practice of this evil act leads towards its addiction and attachment. Instead of practising it to rid oneself of an irresistible desire or to unleash a violent eruption of desire within oneself, a person does it as a habit to attain and satisfy his carnal appetite and -desire. Ibn Qayyim (Rahmatullahi alaihi) has said:

“Many sinners sin without deriving any pleasure and urge except that they experience pain in quitting it.”

How to Stop Masturbation

Masturbation is defined as the manual stimulation of the male or female genitals, not by sexual intercourse, designed to produce an orgasm. Masturbation is totally forbidden in Shari’ah.

One of the most humiliating problems that the constant male masturbator suffers from when he attempts to have sexual relations is premature ejaculation or the failure to maintain an erection. When a person is masturbating, he tends to reach his orgasm as quickly as possible but in sexual intercourse, he normally has to attempt to control his excitement which can impose a great strain on those who indulge in self abuse over a lengthy period.

Those who achieve insufficient satisfaction from sexual intercourse and return to masturbation or never give it up suffer a great torment. Sex life is empty for them, which leads to many more problems, marital disputes, divorce, etc.

Therefore, people who continuously masturbate lose out all round. The physical pleasure becomes reduced to a natural act like urinating or excreting and at the back of their minds there is an awareness that they are missing out on the real pleasures of life. No adult can honestly claim to masturbate without a guilty feeling of complete uselessness. Masturbation is merely an exhaustive rather than constructive undertaking resulting in nothing but total loss. Once orgasm has been achieved, there is nothing left except a feeling of complete emptiness.

Steps in overcoming masturbation

Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female. And you can also be cured if you determine that it must be so. If you want to give it up, you need will power and determination. Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘The Niyyat of a believer is better than the act.’

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. Firstly, you must decide that you will end this practice and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish more than knowing that it is good for you. You must realize that this is a great evil and you have to want to give it up.

It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Ask Allah to help you and give you strength and steadfastness to succeed.

After you have made this decision then observe the following specific guidelines.

Guidelines

1. First step is to realize that you are violating Allah’s command and you are bringing upon yourself a life long destruction and harm.

2. Never touch the intimate parts of your body unnecessarily.

3. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s (Shaytaan) workshop.

4. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that both of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.

The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things. It is mentioned in a Hadith that a person is upon the way of his friend. (Bukhari, Tirmizi)

5. When you bath, do so as quick as possible.

6. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking and the temptation would leave you.
If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, engage in something useful. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you focus your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never look at pornographic material.

8. The attitude of the individual has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control this habit. The person must first realize the evil of this act. Secondly he must understand the reason for this behavior.

After these 2 steps, the individual needs to become sensitive to the situations and conditions which may cause a person to commit this vile act. Hence a person must guard himself from anything, which may trigger a desire for this act. By following these steps, a person gains the ability to gain victory from this act, hence the power to control this filthy practice is developed. Remember you need also a bit of will-power.

ADVICES

1. MAKE Duaa daily; seek help from Allah, this will strengthen you against temptation.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercises. The exercise reduces emotional tension and depression and is absolutely basic to the solution to this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, a month, a year and finally commit to never doing it again. Till you don’t commit yourself, to never indulging yourself in this vile act, you’ll always be open to temptation.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged, these emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a Kitab, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

8. Start frequenting the Musjid. Make it a daily practice to recite part of the Quraan. Find out about authentic books which you can read from your local Aalim.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you. Color the day on which you masturbate black. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall in detail what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy, there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy .When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self control, it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

12. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Shaytaan never gives up. Keep a positive mental attitude and always stay on guard. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do, will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.