Thursday, April 26, 2012

Pos T Vac made me go there. I'm sorry.

I didn't want to write this post. But then again, when was the last time I got what I wanted?

I never wanted to see two such loathsome people on my television screen, but there they are- a disgusting fifty-something old man perfectly willing to blather innuendo concerning his sad inability to "perform" (look, I didn't create this commercial, I'm just commenting on it) and his thirty-something wife who apparently decided that the sports car, the suburban palace and the boatload of money was a decent payoff in exchange for providing sexual favors to a guy old enough to be her dad. Yep, there they are- chirping on and on without the slightest hint of irony or shame about how delighted they are at...

....finding a device that....

I'm sorry. I'm not being paid enough to go on (I'm not being paid for this at all, in fact.) I don't care about these people. I don't care about their sex life- in fact, at this moment, I don't care about anyone's sex life. The very thought of sex makes me angry, because it's existence is at least partially responsible for the fact that THESE PEOPLE engage in it.

Using a device that....

Again, I'm sorry- I just can't continue. Roughly fifteen seconds in, I had to stop watching this thing. Which means I never got to learn exactly what a "Pos T Vac" is. Which is just fine with me- it's bad enough that I ever got to hear that term. It's bad enough that it forces me to try to imagine what on earth a "Vacuum system" looks like or why it makes this woman so happy or how this old guy uses it to....to.....

Oh God, why did you inflict me with the power of sight and hearing? Because right now, those things are just curses. If I had been born blind and deaf, I would never have had to learn that there's such a thing as a Pos T Vac and a "Vacuum system," and I would never have had the image of these two disgusting freaks waxing up their Chevy (the sexual imagery...again, I'm sorry...) while they congratulate "the younger generation" (considering that these people are obviously from different generations, I wonder who they are talking about) for being able to "perform" without using.....a "vacuum system".....

Ok,, I'm done. And again, I'm very sorry I felt I had to include this post. Please don't hold it against me. I feel bad enough already.