Calendar

Posts

Blogroll

14 days and counting…

There are 14 days left until we begin principal photography… and I think I’m going to vomit. I still have to coordinate the shot list and the actors and still have to cast some of the roles and still have to lock the club location and the music for the film and the performance act by our main super star… and I still haven’t even started learning my lines for the film! Seriously, I’m going to puke.

Living out my dreams is a blessing that I can not even begin to put into words. It feels incredible waking up in the morning and knowing that in 14 days, I get to do what I’ve been dreaming about doing since I was 15 years old. I get to shoot a movie for my very own independent Christian film production company.

On the other side of it, living out my dreams is so scary. It’s scary because all this time it’s been a dream, not a reality. It’s existed only in my fantasies. So while we’re heading towards making it an actual memory, there’s this thought in the back of my head that I’ll screw it up, that it won’t actually happen, that this isn’t going to work. And for some really weird reason, those doubts seem more believable than the thought that this is all really going to happen.

I’ve learned it so many times over my life, especially by reading the Bible. Results happen by two things: God, and hard work. God is here with me, every single day. He tells me that all the time, so I know to trust it. And hard work is here with me too. Seriously, even though I can always be doing more, there’s still a whole lot of stuff being done. Today I met with the sound person on set, I contacted all of the unpaid actors in the film and told them their shoot times, I readjusted the budget, I turned in my application for the financing of the film, and I read a friend of mine’s screenplay. I also got a little closer to finding a gaffer and getting a boom and lighting kit on set.

Things are getting done, praise God. But goodness, there are only 14 days left. Tomorrow there will be 13 days left. And so on and so forth, until the only thing between me and the stars is… well… Nothing.

God is really good you guys, and this is all just doubts eating at me. It’s all going to be fine, right? Tell me it’s all going to be fine.