Helmet-cam traps: where’s the humour!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK8RfUJohkU

It was a sting operation. A classic piece of entrapment, designed to expose the dark soul of the average middle aged Australian misogynist who doesn’t care much for bikes either. With her camera rolling she cycled beside a taxi that had pulled over, something no bike messenger would ever do. But these aren’t the 80s. Cities are crippled by congestion and an obesity crisis and are relying on cycling for more than just parcel deliveries. The economies and health departments of urbanised nations depend now on cycling becoming a mainstream mode, as it is in Holland and Denmark. Attention needs to be drawn to the attitudes of those people who are stopping bike transport from working, people like toy importer Jeff Hunter (whose imports are now banned from my house), and Australia’s traffic engineering profession who continue to ignore all the evidence that barrier protected cycle tracks slow cars, but speed people movement and save many lives.

But as good as her setup was, she could take some tips from Sacha Baron Cohen. Sexism, racism, homophobia, nationalism, propensities toward violence—anything people in suits try to hide, Cohen seems able to tease to the surface. So I’m thinking that with a little more thought in the setup, this recent dooring incident in Melbourne could have been bled for more laughs. What could have been done with a stunt rider, for instance? Could a stripper have arrived on the scene with free tipping dollars for anyone hitting a cyclist? Could the driver have stuffed the woman into the boot of his taxi and promised to get rid of the evidence? Could a gun battle have broken out between bike riding rebels and soldiers with other soldiers holding Jeff and his mates on the ground to protect them from bullets?

While I’ve resisted joining the helmet cam warriors, and am confident after 20+ years of bike commuting that happy thoughts really do insulate us from hatred, another part of me is attracted to the spectre of hijinx.

Indeed, we need some fat actors to tease out the prejudices of skinny cyclists. Perhaps a fat public health worker with a clip board and golf cart, pulling over cyclists and lecturing them about the need to walk 20 minutes a day.