You know, I really do try to keep my GH ranting down to a minimum -
really, I DO! Sometimes they just make it so hard for me to resist
though!! And, it would appear, I am not the only one who feels the
need to rant. The incomparable Ms. Reign of Terror over at Soaps.com
let off with (what I believe is) an

o-u-t-s-t-a-n-d-i-n-g rant

the other day and has given me permission to share it with you, my
lovely, loyal readers. I must say, I couldn't have put it any better
myself, so here it is, from Reign's own mouth...um... fingers...:

The State of GH, according to Reign:

First off, I am not a fan of Leyla or Robin. BUT THANK GOODNESS
those 2 finally came to their senses!!!!!!

Patrick is a lowdown, dirty rotten, maggot eating WORM! He talks
about his love for Robin, then when Robin doesn't buy his charm, he
goes for Leyla. THANK YOU LEYLA for stomping on that LOWLIFE DIRTY
SNAKE!

Patrick: "I love you Robin, so much. I miss you. I
want us to be together and try and make it work. I think we need to
try this for a year and see how we feel about everything."Robin: "So, you want me to just come to a screeching
halt with my life, put off my dreams, hang them up in a closet and
wait a year to see if you want to resume the relationship, MAYBE
become a daddy, and even think about a bigger commitment, is this what
you're asking me to do?"Patrick: "No, I'm asking you to have uncommitted sex
with me for a year so I don't have to wine and dine another woman or
be alone for the holidays. I want to get gifts from a girlfriend so if
you come back to me, I get free sex, and some swell gifts and I don't
have to buy you dinner or sweet talk you every single day, just to get
some nookie when I want it.Robin: "Go sit on a cactus and take a spin Patrick,
SEE YA!Patrick: "So uhm leyla, I really miss you. I want us
to try again. I can't even imagine being without you for another day.
Can I buy you some dinner?"Leyla: " After you take a spin on that cactus, go
have sex with a porcupine YOU PIG!"

You have a mom who supports you, no matter what you do. You have 2
beautiful sisters and they want to get to know their older sis alot
better and spend some time with her. The holidays should be for family
first, friends second. All lucky wants from you, is a place to put his
blank shooter. You need a man that bad? AND, how dare you think that
you can just stick 2 little boys in that FLOATER INFESTED HOT TUB of
yours! You are using them to stick it to everyone who "wronged" you
(eye roll), and for that, I hope your crabs bite! And. haven't you
ever heard of "multi-tasking"? You can only have sex and moan at the
same time, but not spend Holiday time with both friends AND family?!

Sincerely,
The chip on your shoulder

CC: Seriously... How much lower are
they going to allow Sam to sink? She has whined (in the past) about
having no one to talk to and no one to turn to for support... Hello?!
You have a mother who desperately WANTS to be there for you. Like
Reign said, you have two beautiful little sisters who would LOVE to
have their big-sister's attention. It might even be GOOD for you to
spend time with THOSE children - get some perspective. Maybe come to
the sudden realization that one ought NOT to use children as a means
of revenge. Also, as pretty as Lucky and Sam are together, the two of
them would be horrible as a couple. They bring out the absolute worst
tendencies in one another, both are needy and waaay to insecure to
ever be capable of giving what the other needs.

***Lucky, WHERE THE HECK DOES HE COME OFF! How
dare him tell Jason to stay away from his own son and Liz? He should
have gone to Jason and BEGGED permission allowing him to continue
playing faux-father to Jake, then kissed his feet and thanked him for
the honor.
Jason better tell him to go play with his pills before he smacks him
in the head with a pill bottle! Lucky, you SWINE!!!

CC: ACK!!!
I'm afraid if I get started on Lucky, I may never stop!! As with Sam,
how low are they going to allow Lucky to go? It is almost laughable
(if it weren't soooo pathetic) that he claims to love those boys so
much that he's willing to (once again) take a walk down Hypocrite Lane
and continue to play faux-father to them - out of his love and
protective instincts. Yet... funny how his love and protection comes
with CONDITIONS, isn't it? If you truly love and want to do
everything in your power to protect a child (or children) you do not
put conditions on your cooperation. You DO it, and you do it for
THEM. And Lucky going to Jason to DEMAND that he stay far, far away
from Jake AND Elizabeth, or he won't play along? As wrong as Liz and
Jason were to keep the Jake-truth from him (and they WERE SO WRONG)
Lucky has NO right to make a demand like that. None. Zip. Zero.
Zilch. Nada. Bupkis. Jason doesn't HAVE to back off from his own
son, he volunteered to do so in the name of keeping his son safe from
the dangers/pitfalls of his world. Would Lucky make such a noble
sacrifice? Not on a bet. And really... WHY was it sooooo sick of Liz
to lie to Jake about his paternity, but it's now okay for Lucky to do
the same thing?! Not getting the logic there.

***YAY FOR KATE! Throw that has-been mobster out
on his pathetic keester. Until you feel a little horny, then use him,
abuse him and toss him out again!

CC: Hold your ground, Katie! Don't
give in to the power of the dimples; it will be your undoing! And,
may I add? Go one step further... GET AS FAR AWAY FROM SONNY AS YOU
CAN!!! Failing that? You're going to have to sacrifice control over
your own life. I admire the spunk and grit, but you really don't have
a CLUE about what it is you're getting into by being in Sonny's orbit;
not to mention his bed. He's right - you WILL be a target. You will
not be safe; living as you had previously done before falling under
his spell again. You are a smart business woman, but you are
completely clueless about what it means to live in the mobular world.
So... either give up Sonny completely, or give up the control you've
always had over your own daily life. Sad as it is? You really can't
have both. I know you hate Carly, but you really should heed her
advice (however caustic it may be). She really does know what it's
like to lose yourself in Sonny and suffer the consequences of living
in his world.

***ELIZABETH WEBBER, make up your FREAKING MIND!

CC: Amen and pass the salt!
Although, I think she was on the cusp of just letting the rest of the
world know the Jake-truth, since so many already know. She's admitted
that she really DOES want to be with Jason - to both him and Lucky -
but dayum... the realities of life in mobular world just keeps
smacking her (and Jason) in the face... *sigh* Still, it's high time
for her to kick Lucky in the... Lucky Charms... and send him packing.
Time for her to either bite the bullet and BE with Jason, or else
declare her complete and total independence and raise those little
chrubs all by her onesie.

***Jason, you have a FUZILLION DOLLARS and
all you can come up with is, "this life is all I know".
SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAP! OMG, take your money and
get a degree in something, you TWIT!

CC: I'm with Reign on this! It is
WAAAAY past time for Jason (and Sonny, too) to get out of the mob.
WAAAY past time for Guza to stop glamorizing the mob, too! Yes, I
know the realities of how hard it is to walk away from mobular world,
but come ON! This is a soap, folks! Unbelievable things happen ALL
THE TIME in soapworld!! With a little imagination and creativity, I'm
sure TPTB could come up with some way to get Jason and Sonny out of
the mob for good! They don't have to be in the mob to be front and
center. Jason doesn't have to be a hitman to be the town hero. Sonny
doesn't have to be the Godfather to be a rich, powerful man. It can
be done! Seriously!

***NEm: FF FF FF FF FF the NEm scenes...

All I want for a GH Christmas is.....

A TIGHTER LID ON EM'S COFFIN!

CC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! I
understand a lot of people feeling this way, but Katrina got me
thinking with her take on the potential for a nice "Heaven Can Wait"
type of scenario for Emily. I could totally buy it - IF the writers
did it right! Whichever way they decide to go, I hope they don't make
us wait until May sweeps before they tell us WHAT Emily really is
now. (Guza's come right out and said that she's not a ghost, so we
know that much) Just, for the love of peanut butter? Don't drag this
out the way they do sooooo many other things - tell us what she is
EXACTLY and then keep the story moving forward. That's not too much
to ask, is it? Is it?

Ok, now I'm feeling better.Reign of Terror

Again I say unto thee, Reign of Terror...
BRAVO!!!! (You RAWK!) I know *I* felt better after reading that!
And, might I add, I don't think we use the term "keester" nearly
enough. We should change that! Moving onto other things now...

GEORGIE: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Why, why, WHY are they killing her
off? Talk about wasted potential! Lindze Leatherman is a fabulous
little actress and they have been wasting her for quite some time
now. She can do meaty, she can do funny, she can do most anything, so
why aren't they holding onto her?!

COOPER: Seems like they plan on wasting all the potential with
this guy, too. I don't get it. Why are they throwing away such
potential?

MONICA: ZOMG!!! Monica was rocking her scenes, wasn't she? She
may have been off the mark in blaming Jason, but based on the little
info she had, it's so easy to understand WHY she would blame him.
Also, she was DEAD BANG ON in everything she said to Sonny when she
was ripping him a new one. Even Sonny couldn't deny it. That said?
I really hope they don't go through with the rumors about her
supporting LUCKY in the upcoming custody battle.

LULU: *eyeroll* You know, I really love that they've made Carly
and Lulu close. For far too long TPTB neglected the Spencer aspect of
Carly's persona. Having Carly step up and be the motherish figure in
Lulu's life was a good move, BUT... it is NOT necessary to turn Lulu
into a perfect clone of her. We have all we can handle with one
Carly, we do not need another. We DO however, need a Lulu -
who is her own person. A perfect little blend of Luke and
Laura, not a chip off of Carly's block. Fix it. kthanxbye.

MICHAEL, THE MOB KINGPIN IN TRAINING: *shudder* Please... get
this boy some help. NOW! And, note to TPTB? It's not cute, it's not
funny, it's not RIGHT to see little Michael calling for mobular
retribution on whomever killed Letitia and Emily. It's not right that
Michael even knows about stuff like that. Truly. Stop this... now!

BOBBIE, MIKE, EDWARD, LESLIE: We can't get enough of these
people. Use them more please.

DR. LEO JULIAN: More, more, MORE please? Yeah, he's young, he's
cocky and self-assured, but dayum if he isn't downright level-headed
about the important stuff! LOVED it when he was telling Patrick to
grow up! HEEEEE!

Where's Alan? I think Tracy could use him right about now. I know
*I* sure miss his ghostly presence.

Love that we got another girl's night out, but where the frell are
Diane and Kate? They would have been a wonderful addition to that
scene at Jake's! I'm still calling for a girls night out with Kate,
Diane, Alexis and Tracy. THAT? Would be BIG fun! Speaking of
Diane... it's been far too long since we've even seen her! WE WANT
DIANE BACK!!!!

I'll leave you all on that note, my lovelies. The bar is open and
the drinks are on me! Until next time...