The really frightening thing about middle age is you know you'll grow out of it! ~Doris Day

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Nothin' But Notaro

I shaved my legs

I spent more than five minutes on my hair

Make-up – check

Jewelry – check

Comfortable clothes – check

Nervous/excited attitude – check

The day had arrived. I couldn’t believe it. When I got the post card last week informing me that one of my favorite authors would be speaking and signing books at Powell’s downtown, I was beside myself with excitement. I am, after all, I card carrying member of the Idiot Girls Club, so when I learned that the original Idiot Girl herself was going to be in town, nothing was going to keep me away.

Not teen drama

Not public transportation

Not a scary walk 10 blocks (Teri said 8 blocks, she lied) through Portland in sandals. Ouchie mama.

Not the crowd of 30 to 40 Asian men who hustled me up the stairway, then paused to snap photo’s of the Notaro crowd. Go figure. It would have been hysterical if I had thought to take a picture of them taking a picture. Sigh. Idiot Girl.

Nothing, baby

And I was NOT disappointed

Laurie Notaro first blazed on the publishing scene with, The Idiot Girls Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life (Villard, July 2, 2002). Because of Laurie, I survived eleven months (eleven!!) with those two tiny tyrants who were determined to suck the life out of me or murder me in my sleep (either way, they were out to get me.)

Laurie made me laugh. Laugh as I have seldom laughed in my life. She’s funny, seriously, dangerously, drunkenly (in her younger days) funny. Her newest book, The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death: Reflections on Revenge, Germophobia, and Laser Hair Removal (Villard June 24, 2008) promises to be just as side splitting funny.

And, she’s hysterical in person too. For nearly two hours she kept her fans rolling with laughter. She also had prizes and who doesn’t like prizes? I am tickled to share that I won a shower cap from Trump International Hotel in Chicago. Dude! It’s as close to Trump as I’m ever gonna get. I plan on leaving this golden prize to one of my children in my will. (Note to kiddies: bribery and other forms of flattery will sway me – be ingenious).

It was uber fun to meet Laurie and get my book signed, although I think I offended her when I refused to eat the chocolate Twizzler she continually waved beneath my nose.

Thanks for everything Laurie! Keep making us laugh.

Yep, Laurie was asked to sign a bra...I love my fellow Idiot Girls

Note the Twizzler in Laurie's hand. Sadly, I look like the ultimate Idiot Girl meeting my hero (gush, stammer, stare). Maybe I scared her and she was actually attempting to use the Twizzler to draw my attention elsewhere.