Hello all. I hope this finds you in rude health. It's been quite a week here at Recommend Towers, one which has been filled with the odd-ball, the theatrical, the soothing, the novel and the bizarre. I have to admit, I thought that last time's call for songs with sound effects would provoke a full-on lunacy week, but suggestions included hundreds of really quite serious pop records. I might have chosen a load of silly ones, but there were some very good, very grown-up songs nominated too.

There were dogs barking and geese flying, doors banging and eggs frying, there were hootings and lootings, fist-fights and shootings. It seems every human action has been captured and put on a pop record at some point. Doesn't that make you feel good?

Burning Spear – Jah No DeadBirdsong and some watery splendidness that might be rolling waves or a river flowing. Probably the latter. Either way, Winston Rodney's a capella floats by on a truly enchanting vibe.

The Byrds – Dolphin's SmileRather than have a recording of an actual dolphin (smiling or otherwise), the Byrds decided to simply mimic the clicky, squawky noise with one of those new-fangled synthesisers. God bless 1968.

Jelly Roll Morton – Sidewalk BluesFrom 1926 and, actually, quite brilliant. It kicks off with a wolf-whistle, throws in a few car horns, a bit of shouting, even a stab at humour ("You're so dumb you could be president of the deaf and dumb society" etc). Then it goes all groovy for three minutes. Choon.

Jim Ed Brown and the Browns – Pop a TopWhat a way to kick off a song: the sound of a ringpull getting dragged from the top of a frosty lager. Add to that a classic C&W, tear-in-my-beer lyric and you see why Jim and his pals had such a big hit in 1967. Thirsty yet? I am.

Cat Stevens – (Remember the Days of the) Old SchoolyardThe song is, well, slightly rubbish, but this from Robbo100 caught my eye. "There's playground noises at the end of Cat Stevens's (Remember the Days of the) Old Schoolyard. If you listen closely you'll hear a kid shout, "Oh fuck off!'" And it's true, you can (at 2:40). I think.

Ray Stevens – The StreakFrom 1974, this is the sort of leftfield, comedy song that couldn't possibly be a hit any more (what with Dave Lee Travis no longer being on national radio). Now, that's a good thing to be honest, but anyone who isn't amused by the explosive whistle noise herein really should lighten up a bit.

Spike Milligan – Wormwood Scrubs TangoAn old lag reminisces about the good times. "I used to tramp the streets beneath the stars and knock off other geezers' motor cars ..." Produced by George Martin in 1962, just a few months before he met those Scouse blokes with the hair. I forget their names.

Pink Floyd – FearlessTalking of Scousers, Fearless found the louche Cambridge prog-rockers purloining the sound of Liverpool supporters singing You'll Never Walk Alone – a showtune originally from the 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, Carousel.

Anthony Newley – That NoiseJoan Collins's ex's smash – also from 1962 – that features a rhythm track constructed from a duck call, a bubble bursting and a ruler vibrating on a table. Imagine Pink Floyd's Money with its brain removed and replaced with a faulty whoopee cushion.

This week's topic is songs with brilliant opening lines – songs that nail their colours to the mast from the get go and never let up. Songs that make you pull back the stylus or reach for the rewind button as soon as they've begun. I'm looking for songs with the sort of opening lines that you shout across pub tables as you grip your fourth drink of the evening. Let's have some poetry, some intrigue, some romance, some anger, some humour, some sarcasm, some derring-do.

The last fortnight has been great fun but I must now hand back to Mr Mac. Thanks for all your brilliant suggestions. So, until we meet again ...

The rulebook:DO NOT post more than a third of the lyrics to any one song.DO Post your nominations before midday on Monday if you wish them to be considered.DO Post justifications of your choices wherever possible.DO Be nice to each other!