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Topic: I think my mom is losing it (Read 14651 times)

I don't understand your mother or grandmother's urgency to give a 3yr old a handmade blanket .... and default to one that is "ugly" in the eyes of a small child. It will be years before she understands & appreciates anything handmade (unless it's cute & soft & cuddly)... There is plenty of time to find an alternative solution if your grandmother feels guilty about not having the energy to make another at the moment.

or is this PA prompting? Could they feel you aren't showing appreciation about the blanket because you haven't returned for it? (direct comment about how musty it has become from storing for so long).

Have you spoken to your grandmother recently, does SHE seem concerned about making a blanket for Susie?

I don't understand your mother or grandmother's urgency to give a 3yr old a handmade blanket .... and default to one that is "ugly" in the eyes of a small child. It will be years before she understands & appreciates anything handmade (unless it's cute & soft & cuddly)... There is plenty of time to find an alternative solution if your grandmother feels guilty about not having the energy to make another at the moment.

or is this PA prompting? Could they feel you aren't showing appreciation about the blanket because you haven't returned for it? (direct comment about how musty it has become from storing for so long).

Have you spoken to your grandmother recently, does SHE seem concerned about making a blanket for Susie?

I haven't spoken with my grandmother in ages. Now she's been ill and in and out of the hospital. It's my mom saying that grandma (her mom) wants to do X and X..BUT *heavy dramatic sigh* it's so HARD and she's been so SICK and Suzie would just love a blanket.

Trust me.. when I say ugly, it's an ugly strained pea that's been dried with mustard added color. I had it when I was 15, I'll be 44 next month and though it was ugly, it kept me warm on cold nights. It's stretched out and faded. I have NO clue why my mom would want to pass that thing on. I remember my sister scoffing at my ugly green one when she got a very pretty red one.

It's all good now. The afghan is in a box in my closet and I made a quilt for Suzie.

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thecat

Oh, this reminds me of my mother. I have been a crafty type ever since I was little; she always said what a waste of time my projects were. A few years ago she saw me cross-stitching a bookmark I intended to keep for myself, commented on how pretty it was, and how she'd like to have it. OK, being the ever-dutiful daughter, I gave it to her when it was finished. Several months later, she asked me to make her another one. Puzzled, I asked what had happened to the first one. She said she had given it away to someone! I did NOT make her another bookmark.

I never intended to insult the gift your grandmother made for you (just in case it came across that way). My relatives made a few handmade quilts & sweaters for my sister & I when we were kids .... and although we were polite, we hated them. Infact, we tried to hide the sweaters hoping my mother wouldn't make us wear them to school! That's just the way kids think .... ofcourse I appreciate them now (as an adult) for their sentimental value.

Is your mother really stressed out about your Grandmother's declining health? It sounds like she's trying to draw attention to something ... she may not even realize how odd she's behaving.

I never intended to insult the gift your grandmother made for you (just in case it came across that way). My relatives made a few handmade quilts & sweaters for my sister & I when we were kids .... and although we were polite, we hated them. Infact, we tried to hide the sweaters hoping my mother wouldn't make us wear them to school! That's just the way kids think .... ofcourse I appreciate them now (as an adult) for their sentimental value.

Is your mother really stressed out about your Grandmother's declining health? It sounds like she's trying to draw attention to something ... she may not even realize how odd she's behaving.

ps - you made a quilt in a month ..... Wow!

Didn't think you were being insulting. My mom just likes to control. The quilt was just a very simple 9-patch, mostly reds and yellows. So so much better than some stinky old ugly stretched out of shape blanket that's 30+ years old!

My mom probably is stressed out about Grandma's situation. Grandma is about 80 something. I never remember... I forget how old I am.. lucky for me my autistic son will remind me. Loudly. In the store.

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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until they open their mouth.

Oh, this reminds me of my mother. I have been a crafty type ever since I was little; she always said what a waste of time my projects were. A few years ago she saw me cross-stitching a bookmark I intended to keep for myself, commented on how pretty it was, and how she'd like to have it. OK, being the ever-dutiful daughter, I gave it to her when it was finished. Several months later, she asked me to make her another one. Puzzled, I asked what had happened to the first one. She said she had given it away to someone! I did NOT make her another bookmark.

Cross stitch takes a lot of time. A LOT. It's one of my hobbies. Good for you for not making her another one.

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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until they open their mouth.

I have a beautiful hand cross stitched nursery rhyme (my favourite from childhood) with 9 separate scenes, all mounted in a frame. My sister gave it to me for my 30th birthday just before emigrating to the other side of the world and I would be devastated if anything happened to it. I can't understand people who don't value such things or understand why the recipient does not want them passed on to someone else.

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Katia144

I could see my mom possibly doing something like this, but she would likely preface it with "since it has been at my house for X number of months/years, I assume you don't want it anymore, so I'm going to give it to Susie." With my mom, it'd be more of a "don't leave YOUR stuff at MY house and expect me to be your storage unit" thing than anything else...

I agree that I don't understand the argument, though. I mean, is she implying that your sister can't even afford to buy her daughter a warm blanket? Does she think this will become some sort of a "security" blanket for the kid (IMO, Daddy not paying child support =/= a major/traumatic life crisis for which a child needs some sort of surrogate-slash-comfort object, but maybe there's more to the story than this)? Why does she seem to be saying the kid needs someone ELSE besides her own mother (and/or father, depending on whether he's just not paying up or is totally out of the picture) to give her something good in her life? Or am I over-reading things into her comments? It just almost sounds like she's saying this kid is having just an AWFUL life and this afghan will make it allllllllll better! (or maybe it really IS just a "I'll give it to someone who will APPRECIATE it!" guilt trip!)

Ladies & any gentlemen on the site - not everyone lives close enough to their parental home to "just run over and pick things up". As a military member, I have lived up to a thousand miles from my parents..........

So telling anyone to just go by their parental home and pick up something may not be much help. Granted, many people are planning trips home over the next week - so at least some of them may be able to pick things up. Packing those things home on a plane or in their vehicle might still present a challenge................

But for people who could run up to their mother's on a weekend, it might be a good idea to PICK UP whatever they can on each trip............or at least what they don't want to loose, if there is too much to bring back in one trip without an empty vehicle (maybe even a large pickup truck or a small trailer). But it might be possible for many travelers to take some things to a rental storage place to secure them under lock & key, for the next time they are in town...........

I would assume, though, that one's parent would KNOW that's why the item(s) is/are still there? So there wouldn't be any worry about them assuming it was left because it wasn't wanted.

For normal parents, no issues. For the parents with a mental twist to their knickers - they wouldn't recognize their unmarried child going off to Antarctica for two years with a research project and leaving their things in their parents' home AT THE REQUEST OF the parents as being a "good reason".

Not quite that blatant - but I remember hearing about a family that realized Grandma had lost it when she started giving away EVERYTHING in the house..........including her own bed, dresser, tv, and fridge. As to why she was giving it all away - there was some confusion as Grandma wasn't communicating well. I can't remember if she thought she way dying, thought that her children didn't want the family heirlooms (which was one of the beds she was sleeping on and the dresser with her clothes in it), or had decided that the people with a sob story NEEDED it more than she did. I do remember that Grandma got placed in a nursing home very quickly once the furniture started going missing..........

Now if I could just remember where & when I picked up that tidbit..........