shot this concert for IRR on saturday night. I was late so didn't get my "up in her face" spot on the floor....I was too busy making cinnamon rolls.

It's funny really because 5yrs ago if I would have had the chance to photograph one of her concerts I would have been there 3hrs early, sweating in an outfit that would have taken me days to pick out. this concert ended up being memory replacement for me and how it all worked out was really perfect.

I strolled in when I pleased, lucked out with some good vantage points, heard some of my favorite songs including "sunday afternoon" and was accompanied by my husband.

I didn't realize it till I was there but somehow being late because of cinnamon rolls gave me this extra boast of freedom. freedom from the past I guess. this post may confuse some of you who have no idea what I am even talking about, but I think a lot of you can relate to the feeling of "release".

I believe in one capacity or another we are always tied to our past, but there are ways to control your past instead of letting it control you.

my point with all this is I am suppose to be a rock star.

I know in the bottom of my heart that I was made to rock out my emotions in front of an audience of fans. fans= people who get it. after I left the concert I was talking it out and came to the conclusion that love sick song writing is like taking a 8hr conversation about some part of a painful past and letting it reduce on the stove till only the best, most flavorful parts are left. five minutes of what matters. intense communication really gets me. now how to learn to play an instrument and write music?....trust me, with the battleground my heart has survived (public but mostly private), I would make a great rockstar.

"not going to live for you or die for you. won't do anything anymore for you. not going to shed one more tear for you....at least not till sunday afternoon."- rachael yamagata