September 2, 2007

Puffins, Professors and Republican Toilet Escapades

School is upon us and I am getting back into the grind after a mini-birthday celebration. But I did have a few comments I wanted to make about some news events of the past few days.

I want to thank Andrea Dillon for giving Michael Ignatieff too much screech out in Newfoundland because now any mention of the word puffin will have me in stitches. It is a noble bird indeed. Hiding its own poop eh? Unlike the Canadian media, who are more like pigeons, always needing to be fed and shitting all over the place without concern for the consequences. I hope to be a great pigeon someday…apparently I have practice…

It got me thinking that other political parties need official birds too.

The Bloc Quebecois would be a big blue vulture, preying on Canada, waiting to tear its corpse apart.

The NDP would be a peacock, with all sorts of distractions and colorful feathers. One other thing about peacocks…they can’t fly…

The Tories would shoot their bird and eat it for dinner...unlike Dick Cheney who would aim for the bird and shoot you in the face but more on republicans later...

Moving right along, what in God’s name is Ryerson university thinking by hiring Gerard Kennedy to teach at the school? I sure hope all my teachers have an undergrad degree…I mean, you need one to teach a first grader how to add, but you don’t need one to teach at Ryerson…talk about setting an example.

Think of some of the classes Gerard can teach

1) Convincing People You Are Learning French

2) Ethnic Politics

3) Politics Without Substance

I can really go on all day but I digress...

Republican Gay Sex Scandal has a nice ring to it doesn’t it.

I know if I am ever not guilty of a crime and want to clear my name, the first thing I should do is plead guilty.

This is really the story that keeps on giving. I have no problem with people having a moral objection to gay marriage. After all, I have a moral objection to the city of Toronto…

I just think if you’re a closet homo, the last thing you should be doing is crusading against gay rights…actually that’s the second last thing you should be doing

The last thing you should be doing is plead guilty to soliciting gay sex in a public bathroom...

5 Commentaires:

Criticize Kennedy all you want, but are we so elitist, or dumb or whatever it might be, that we can't even be taught by someone who has experience running one of Canada's largest non-profits, time in cabinet government, and taken decisive actions in determining the course of the western world's most succesful political party because he is not an academic?

Factual Quibble: peacocks do indeed fly. They are forever flying out of the zoo into nearby residential neighborhoods here in Winnipeg.

As far as politics goes, I always liked the assertion of a southern comedian whose name escapes me now. He said "Compound words used to confuse me until I realized that understanding the pieces could help you understand the whole thing. Take 'Politics' for example: 'Poly' means many, and 'Tics' are bloodsucking parasites.Therefore PolyTics = Many Bloodsucking ParasitesThat cleared things up for me quite a bit."