Thanks for your responce on my Q a few weeks ago, I really appreciate your taking time to answer me on that, taking into account the gazzilion Qs you get from the Gazillion us..lol,

I took your advice, and still waiting for my WB test, the 2nd rapid test they did came out indeterminate again, this time Oral Quick and Elisa, anyway, in the meantime Ive been enjoying reading your responces, some quite interesting, some got me rolling on the floor with laughter, like liking thongs..please keep answering those please, I really get a kick out of them lol!..

I think you should also have a whacked out e-mails folder under inbox...Love you lots doc!

Either way, I will be ready for my results either way they turn to be,
P/s: if my comments you feel will offend other readers, I will be all the same ok if don't publish, it wont stop me from having kick from them anyway, keep well Doc, and God bless

CJ

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey CJ,

A "whacked-out" chapter is a great idea. Believe it or not, I don't even post the really zany ones! Just for your amusement I'll post below a few potential entries "from the vault" that might qualify for the new whacked-out chapter.

Dr. Bob

Masturbating in Class. (HELLO KITTY ERASER!!!) Jul 13, 2008

Iam a girl here in Arkansas.Well to makethe long story short I was having a little fun in English class and was masturbating with what I though was my pencil with a hello kitty eraser.Well to my surprise I saw that my gay best friend Earl had my pencil and I had his.(my initials were on the pencil he was using).Well, I know my gay best friend Earl also masturbates from behind with his pencil.Do you think I may have contracted HIV from Earl?I know he is gay and you never know....please help me IAM TERRIFIED!!!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Little Miss Arkansas,

Let me get this straight. While in English class, you were masturbating with a pencil with a "hello kitty" eraser??????? Hmm . . . well, hello kitty indeed!!!! However, as it turns out, it really wasn't your hello kitty tickling your pet pussy after all, because you saw your gay best friend Earl had your pencil and you had his! Ohmigod!!! And you know your gay best friend also masturbates "from behind" with his pencil, so you are now "TERRIFIED" you may have contracted HIV, because Earl is gay. Do I have that correct????

Gosh, those "hello kitty" pencils sure seem to be getting a lot of action in Arkansas these days! Who knew?!?!?

Your HIV risk is nonexistent; however, young lady, I should put you on detention for either making up stories or masturbating in English class!

Dr. Bob

Will gay facesitting transmit aids Jul 1, 2007

Hello,dear doctor. Three days ago I found a man prostitute and let him sit on my face and smother me with his briefs, and i clearly remember i didn't use my tongue to lick his briefs. But because he was a prostitue, I didn't know if his briefs was stained with sperms, even if i didn't feel wet on his briefs. Could his dry sperms on his briefs transmit AIDS to me through some part of my face? Thanks in advance.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Is gay face-sitting different from straight or bi or tranny face-sitting? Whoever the sitter may be, the HIV risk is nonexistent, although there may be other health risks. For instance, if you are into bears or chubbies, I suppose you could be suffocated.

Mutual Masturbation and Pre-cum Apr 2, 2003

Dear Doctor,

I am a male who's primary sexual contact is through mutaul masturbation with other men. Highly pleasurable. However, I am always a quite apprehensive about the inevitable exchange of pre-cum which occurs during this activity. His own pre-cum on his hand comes into contact with my penis through touching each other. Wouldn't the risk of that pre-cum coming into contact with my urethra pose a risk for HIV infection? I would certainly like to continue with this activity, without having to use a condom, but NOT at the risk of my health. Could you please shed a little more light on this. I have read other posts on this subject, but I'm still not sure if I should be more concerned of less concerned about this activity; which means I'm never really able to full relax and enjoy the intimacy of the moment. Please advise. Thank you.

A little unsure

PS-You ARE a wonderful addition to a superb team of caring counselors. I wish you all the best!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Yes, its true that pre-cum can contain HIV; however, the risk of contracting HIV from mutual masturbation is essentially nil. For instance, it is possible you could be walking by a high-rise building enjoying a nice Starbucks non-fat vanilla latte, when someone accidentally drops an eggplant out their window on the 69th floor, which then happens to thwack you in the noggin at high speed, causing you to spill your hot Starbucks coffee onto a bicycle rider who veers off course and into the path of an oncoming bus of Mormons on their way to a gay circuit party. See what I mean? The possibility is there, but really, lets face it Mormons never go to circuit parties, right? It doesnt mean they cant. Its just extremely unlikely.

I have a question for you and hopefully you can answer it for me. Ok, the other day I got a chicken wrap and began eating it when I realized it had some sort of dressing on it. I opened the wrap and saw salad dressing all over the chicken, etc. and immediately began to worry if someone had tampered with the dressing and then used it to prepare other foods. Can you tell me (just to quash any other fears)if transmission would be possible if someone had "unloaded" into the salad dressing that was used in the wrap? I know this sounds crazy, but I really

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

". . . I know this sounds crazy . . . ." Yep! It certainly does so I won't argue with you about that! Dude, why would anyone "unload" into salad dressing? Even Mormons aren't that twisted and repressed. Well, OK, maybe they are. So just in case you do live in Salt Lake City and bought your chicken wrap at one of those ridiculously gaudy temples (the ones that look like they came directly out of Oz), your HIV risk would be nonexistent. So stop worrying about the "special sauce" on your wrap; besides the chicken will probably give you bird flu anyway.

Dr. Bob

FUCKING MYSELF WITH A PLANTAIN (SEX WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES 2009)
May 15, 2009

Hi, my name is LIVIN and i love to introduce a plantain in my ass while im jacking off. To me, is the best feeling ever, but im concern because i want to know if there are any risks of me getting AIDS or hurting myself really hard..cus i do like to do it hard with the plantain. so please Doctor if you could tell me if there is any danger on that i would really appreciate it.

sincerelly. LIVIN.

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Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Livin,

Unusual name, but not quite as unusual as your fetish for ramming plantain up where the sun don't shine while jacking your tallywhacker. "Best feeling ever"??? Well, Livin, I'll have to take your word on that. As for an HIV risk, no, of course not. Why would you even consider it? Did you think maybe the plantain was cheating on you with other horned-up hotties who like sticking veggies or fruit up their butts? I'll report some information from the archives below. It involves a cucumber instead of a plantain but the principles (like the shape) are the same.

Hi Doctor, Please help - this is an embarrassing yet worrying situation. I am a 30 year old woman and my boyfriend and I were indulging in foreplay in the kitchen. We were about to have sex and he then inserted a vertically chopped/sliced cucumber piece (cut and peeled) from the salad plate, around the length and density of a little finger in my anus. It got stuck and I'm worried about what to do. We stopped, and I have been worried since then. I have been passing stools normally since then - it has been over 24 hours. I'm not sure if it came out in the stools, or its still inside. If the latter, will it get digested or pushed out ultimately ? Is that safe ? I do not have pain so far, but yes, there is discomfort in the rectal and possibly lower abdomen area. Please advise,if i should ignore/forget about this, or go for a medical check-up. Or do some home remedy to get it out ? I swear I will never allow this again.

Thanks!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Cucumbers seem to be getting a lot of action these days. (See below.) I doubt you need medical attention as result of your cucumber backdoor action. As the old saying goes, "Things have a way of working themselves out in the end." I would advise against "home remedies." If your discomfort persists or increases, you should be evaluated.

Dr. Bob

Could I get HIV/STD by masturbating ? Oct 12, 2008

Hi Doctor, i know this might sound stupid but im really worried, i have been masturbating for some time now and some of the times i forget to wash my hands. My question is, could i get std/hiv or any virus by fingering my self with my hands dirty or clean? i am really worried and i would really apreciate your answer.I also have another question, could you get std/hiv by masturbating with a bottle, pickel or any thing like that? Thank you.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

The answers to all your questions were waiting for you in the archives. The "cucumber" question is analogous to your pickle concerns. And for your bottle worries, check out Heineken-Up-The-Heinie Guy.

Dr. Bob

Cucumber Aug 14, 2005

Used a cucumber bought at grocery store as an anal toy. I was alone (I am a male.)I did not share it as it was a private masturbation. I put it in a stong bleach solution for 1 hour prior to use and washed it about 4 times with soap. was this an possible hiv risk.Iam married and just concerned. Thankyou

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You marinated a cucumber for an hour in strong bleach and then washed it four times before sticking it up your butt, and you are worried about HIV???? Hmmm . . . just how much action do you think this cucumber had prior to your "picking him up" in the vegetable aisle? Even if the grocery store was a "Piggly Wiggly," you have absolutely nothing to fear. I suggest you spend some time on this site learning about sex, safer sex, basic HIV information and sex toys. I'm a bit concerned what might happen when you get to the watermelon aisle.

Dr. Bob

Cucumber(No Watermelons) Aug 17, 2005

Your response was funny and when i thought about it, it was silly to marinate for 1 hour.I guess my concern was that some one might tamper with food at the store, someone with bad intent who would inject body fluid ,blood ect. i believe from reading that it would not survive under those circumstances. ?Thankyou

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Do you really think "someone with bad intent" would pick that particular vegetable to "inject body fluid and blood????" Dude, come on, get real. Of all the penis-shaped objects at your local Piggly Wiggly, how would Mr. Bad Intent guess you would pick that particular one for your "sit and spin?" Just how cute was that cuke???

Dr. Bob

HIV - top of a bottle (HEINEKEN-UP-THE-HEINE) Jul 7, 2008

Dr. Bob, at first, I'd like to congratulate yourself for the wonderful job that you do (I'm sorry for my English - I am writting from brazil). Here is my question: there's about a month that I travelled and spent the weekend at a hotel. There, I took a water bottle from the refrigerator and started to masturbate with it (I am a man and put it inside of me). I am afraid that someone (maybe HIV+) may have jerked on the bottle, or put some bleed over it, in the meaning that if someone used the bottle as a sextoy, it would infect the people. Do I need to get tested ? I arrived ath the hotel on a Tuesday and used the bottle at saturday Morning. I couldn't notice any secretions over the bottle. Thanks so much and greetings from brazil.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Brazil-Guy,

You're worried about a water bottle from the refrigerator in the hotel room that you shoved up your heinie??? Hmm . . . just how much action do you think that water bottle gets? Do you need to get tested? No, of course not. I can assure you most folks wouldn't even consider mounting a bottle of Perrier or spunking up a bottle of San Pellegrino. Although I do remember another guy who worried about a Heineken. (See below.)

Dr. Bob

Have you thought of a book (Heineken-Up-The Heine Guy) Mar 20, 2008

Dear Dr Bob I think the world of you and would like to know if you have thought about collecting your questions in book form. (With details changed to protect the writer) My feeling is that your website has the total pulse on what people experience in the world today, their fears, quirks, foibles, the worried well, the reckless, etc. I think it would be valuable statement of the times in which we live. Just an idea. And again please know that you are one of the true wonders of the world for the work that you do.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Actually several readers have taken the initiative to start several different books of Dr. Bobisms over the years, but so far none has made it to press. Reviewing the archives could be a rather daunting task. However, if any enterprising forum fanatics want to attempt a Dr. Bob's Greatest Hits Collection, they certainly have my blessing. Just imagine if such a book made it onto Oprah's Book Club list! Although I tend to think many questions might be more suited to Jon Stewart's Daily Show. I'm not sure what Oprah would say about Heineken-Up-The-Heinie Guy. (See below.)

Dr. Bob

Can I get HIV from dried spit inserted in anus? Mar 8, 2007

Okay, I'm really worried that I might have gotten HIV last week. I'm so paranoid that I'm having trouble focusing in school and at work. Please answer this please!!! This is what happened. I came home from work and went straight to take a bath. My dad had told me that 2 of his cousins were staying the night with us. While in the bath I saw a beer bottle and decided to use it for anal pleasure. after having it been inserted in me for a few seconds (15- 30) I relized THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY COUSINS USED BEAR BOTTLE!!!! I immediatly stopped and threw the bottle away. I also immediatly stopped pleasuring myself anally. I'm not sure that my dads cousins have AIDS, but they are promiscuous and I don't believe I had any tears in my rectum or anus. However, 3- 4 days before this happened I had stomach problems and had to wipe my anus while on the toilet. I did this many times and by the time my stomach stopped hurting the area around my anus was very sore and I'm sure that i had a few small abrasians from wiping so much. But I do believe that these healed before my beer bottle encounter and the beer bottle was dry (the saliva was dry). Is it likly that I could have gotten HIV from this. I plan on getting tested but I need to know something while I'm in the window period. Please please please respond to this. I'm very scared and will never do anything like this again.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You stuck a beer bottle up your butt??? Hmmm . . . OK, let's review. When out drinking beer and someone yells "bottoms up," that's not what they mean, OK?

Returning now to your question, your HIV risk from your Heineken-up-the-heinie experience is nonexistent. But there can be other risks from ramming a Bud up your rosebud. So please be more discerning when choosing toys for your backdoor action.

Dr. Bob

Are my Symptoms a sign of early HIV infection Mar 16, 2007

Hi, I recently posted a question on this site about my risk of catching HIV. My post was responded and it told me I had ZERO-Risk! However, I'm still a little worried and want to know if the symptoms I'm suffering from are HIV related. My ZERO- RISK exposure happened 2 and a half weeks ago. My symptoms are as follows: 1. 1 day of diarreah (I'm not too worried about this becuase I had eaten spicy food the day before.) 2. I had a canker sore ( my doctor told me it was from stress) 3. Slight lower rib cage discomfort. 4. It's hard to explain this but my throat is slightly sore but only in my lower throat. It also feels as if I'm having trouble breathing. Like my lungs are trying to puch the air I breath out. All of these symptoms are very much mild however, I'm freakin out about numbers 4 and 3 becuase I don't recall ever feeling this way. Thankyou for your time. P.S. you might remember me "Heinikin-in the-hiny".

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Heineken-up-the-Heinie Guy,

Are you back again??? Exactly what part of "nonexistent risk" are you having difficulty understanding.

Dude, HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. Consequently, your symptoms could not possibly be HIV related, right? Of course right!

Dr. Bob

A Few more "What If's" and Risk Apr 6, 2007

Hey Dr. Bob, it's Hieniken-up-the-Hiny Guy again. I've been coping weel for the last two weeks, but I've recently put myself back into a panic. Please just entertain this one last question even though you've already answered me. Okay so the bottle... it was on the back of the toilet so the person who used it probably was taking a crap... so if a minimal amount of feces was on it and if the person using it had spit into it and had blood in their mouth is there more of a risk? Even though it wasn't used for at least 20 minutes? Also, I have a small rash, which my parent think is a heat rash, and a sore throat and a few bumps on my inner thigh. I'm so worried. I understand that there are many people who have questions far greater than mine and I understand if it takes you a while to answer this question but please do. Thanks, you're an awesome person!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

OK, Heineken-Up-The Heine Guy,

Enough is enough. Looks like I'm going to have to put out a restraining order on you! Dude, it's time for you to see a psychiatrist. You are what-if-ing yourself right into the loony bin! You may think you've been coping "weel," but I can assure you, if you are concocting scenarios like the possibility of poop on a beer bottle that an HIV-positive guy with a bloody mouth then spit into before you decided to shove the whole kit and caboodle up where the sun don't shine, well, let me tell you, you don't need an HIV expert; you need a shrink's couch. Just to calm your completely whacko fears once again, see below. And why are you going to learn the correct spelling of Heineken and Heine?

Dr. Bob

hiv (SEX WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES) Aug 10, 2008

i'm a girl.i used to masterbate with banana/cucumber,but sometimes forgot to wash it.is there any risk of hiv?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You're worried about contracting HIV from masturbating with a banana and cucumber???? Sweetie, do you think perhaps your cutie-petutie banana and cucumber are cheating on you???? I can only assume your home schooling or abstinence-only sex education program failed to mention that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease. As such, it, like all other sexually transmitted infections, is, as the name implies, transmitted during sex from one infected person to another. So whatever you like to do in the fresh produce aisle of your local Piggly Wiggly will not cause HIV. That is unless you happen to have unprotected sex with an HIV-positive checkout boy in that aisle with all the phallic fruits and vegetables.

I know this is probably a stupid question but I'd just like your professional opinion. I was masturbating with a banana peel, although it had been sitting on my table for a few days. I read that it was stimulating so I tried it. However, is there a possibility for HIV transmission in this, i.e. HIV through food? Looking forward to your response.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Replacing a real banana with one's own banana can indeed be "appealing" (so to speak). As far as the HIV risk from using and abusing various fruits and vegetables, relax Max. It's nonexistent. See below.

Dr. Bob

Occupational exposure. Nov 26, 2008

Dr. Frascino-I'm a Nurse Practitioner who had an Occupational exposure while performing an I&D on a patient with end stage disease. I have read many of the posts here and when I found the "Cucumber" post, I laughed until I cried. Just what I need right now. Thank you!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Nurse Practitioner,

I'm delighted I was able to provide a smile during this stressful time. I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your occupational exposure turns out to be as risk free as sex with a "cucumber."

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