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I once had a patient that was a dead ringer for Santa Claus...if Santa had gastric bypass surgery.

I had him change into a gown and lay on my X-ray table. I turn around for a moment and turn back to see the gown pulled up so Santa’s “twig and berries” are fully exposed. I flick the gown back down, make the exposure, go back to the table and once again see what I don’t want to see, good grief!

Flick that gown down again, make the exposure, and yes, there they are again. Now I’m done with the exam and I get Santa off the table while resisting the urge to say “You must have been VERY cold”.

I mean WTF!? Reminded me of that episode on Star Trek “trouble with tribbles” except they were snow white.

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Relax. We are recuperating from a grueling nude tricycle race on the weekend. BTDT2 came in first in the senior division, but it came at a cost. He pulled a hamstring and suffered extensive chafing in sensitive areas.

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Yeah, Radiology, where if you have an opening, we stick a tube in it. Heck even if you don't, we'll make one and stick a tube in it. It's been an interesting 33 years....

I spent the last week on special assignment at a local hospital attempting to corroborate Nola and PR723’s hospital post.

I was able to validate Nola’s post, if you grimaced at not.in.MY.town’s ginger root story, you’ll cringe at an x-ray tech with a probe.

On the other hand I was not able to validate PR723’s post re testicular towels… During three sponge baths I requested a hot moist testicle towel and received the following responses.. I was curtly called a pervert, told it was a hospital not a brothel or happy ending strip mall massage parlor and “Hey are you the NJ LT who placed second in the senior nude tricycle races last week” I'm back

I spent the last week on special assignment at a local hospital attempting to corroborate Nola and PR723’s hospital post.

I was able to validate Nola’s post, if you grimaced at not.in.MY.town’s ginger root story, you’ll cringe at an x-ray tech with a probe.

On the other hand I was not able to validate PR723’s post re testicular towels… During three sponge baths I requested a hot moist testicle towel and received the following responses.. I was curtly called a pervert, told it was a hospital not a brothel or happy ending strip mall massage parlor and “Hey are you the NJ LT who placed second in the senior nude tricycle races last week” I'm back

I'm sorry the sponge baths were a disappointment. In PR723 's defense though...the testicle towel may just be a Southern hospitality thing that hasn't made its way up North yet. How were the ginger tea enemas?

And for the record...you only beat me in the nude tricycle race because I had to walk after my Chief told me I couldn't borrow our department's Segway trike. Some nonsense about how per agency policy it can only be used while in uniform.

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BTDT2, so glad to see you're back. You were missed. I hope all is well.

Congratulations to coming in first. Did MY.town supply you with plenty of Vaseline for the chaffing?

During the race not.in.My.town was seen sporting a rather large fanny pack. Many of us thought he wasn’t aware there is no crime in a sanctuary city in a sanctuary state and was packing a size matters ODG. Turned out to be a sizable stash of KY and Ginger Root Extract body cream..

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During the race not.in.My.town was seen sporting a rather large fanny pack. Many of us thought he wasn’t aware there is no crime in a sanctuary city in a sanctuary state and was packing a size matters ODG. Turned out to be a sizable stash of KY and Ginger Root Extract body cream..

I admit I was sporting a rather impressive package. I will neither confirm nor deny the rest of the allegations....

And don't judge me for showing up prepared. Everyone knows Bay Area prices are ridiculous...