Spinners and Spoilers

Alright, I have had this on my mind for a while now and I need to get it out.

I understand that the spinner wheels are cool and everything, but I believe that they are only if on the appropriate type of vehicle. For instance any Ford Taurus, station wagon or otherwise, not the appropriate type of vehicle. Ford Mustang, okay that would work. Ford F-150 pick up not the appropriate vehicle. Basically any vehicle that is meant for farm work, hauling heavy loads, or capable of 4 wheel drive not appropriate. Yes this does include Hummers, Escalades, Navigators and the like. (To the people who have these, we already know that you have way more money then you know what to do with so just stop. Some suggestions for the money burning a hole in your pocket: give it to your alma mater, local church, local homeless shelter, local food pantry, a hospital, cancer research, aids research, basically any group that is trying to better the life of people would do.) Now back to the spinners, as I said, yes cool on a Corvette, Sting Ray or otherwise, Camaro. But not so much on the Buick--maybe an old one with fins, but then you are going out of the era so maybe not so much. Use the money for other things, like fixing the muffler or better yet save it for your hearing aids you will be needing later in life when all that thumping bass comes back to haunt you.

Now, on to the spoilers. Again, these can add a certain coolness to a car, be again they have their place. A car not to have a spoiler, especially one three feet off the trunk is a four door Honda Civic. Do you not have friends to tell you how stupid it looks? Well here it is, IT LOOKS STUPID. Are you trying to fly, do you think it will get you more chicks? Well you won't, it only allows those of us who are normal to laugh hysterically at you and point as you transverse the highways and byways of life. Again, something you can save money on.

Another thing to save money on is the paint job. For instance any type of newer Buick should never ever, and I do mean never, have flames painted on it. Again this provides comic relief, however some one may end up causing an accident laughing so hard at your stupidity. We all need comic relief, but there is a time, and traveling at 70 mph in traffic is definitely not the time nor the place for a laugh attack. Flames should be reserved for muscle cars, especially older muscle cars or maybe a racing car or a demolition derby car--oh wait they usually end up in flames.

As you can see, all this money wasted on cars to make them look cool can only make you look like a tool. Be constructive with your money, help out in your community, other than just by adding comic relief. When you think you need to add those spinners, look at the rules. As for the three foot spoiler, this really has no place on any car, except the Funny Cars for drag racing purposes. And those fancy paint jobs, try something different, something unique, something off the wall, Kermit the Frog Green does not work no matter what. So, do your fellow man a favor, leave the spinners on the cars they are meant for and leave the flames to the professionals.