Friday, November 19, 2004

Fundamentalist Christians Can Eat A Dick Sandwich

"Oh black baby jesus-when will these repressed idiots learn?"

Ok, I 've almost ALWAYS had beef with most Christians (with a few exceptions) and I certainly think that fundamentalist Christians are akin to say, the bubonic plauge, but I've never really felt like storming Jerry Falwell's compound with an AK-47 until today. Now, I could deal with the election results because I understand the psychology (or at least, make wild and offensive generalizations pretending I do...) of these sheep. Many people simply believe what other people tell them (their parents, the government) because they are simple and not cynical enough. They are easily led (usually by fear-whether that be of eternal damnation or destruction by evil-doers) because that is how they have been conditioned to behave. I mean, how else could these fucks believe Jesus was a white guy from the Middle East? Until recently I pitied them as I thought they were just dull and harmless, but after the last election I could not deny that lunatics influence our government. I know G-dub is crunk off the Jesus juice and now most of our government is too, but when I see an article like this, where nutty Christians compare pornography to heroin then I know we are outta control.
"Internet pornography is corrupting children and hooking adults into an addiction that threatens their jobs and families, a panel of anti-porn advocates told a hearing organized Thursday by Senator Sam Brownback, chairman of the Commerce subcommittee on science."
Really, anyone who is the chairman of the Commerce subcommittee on science should look at this psuedo-scientific assertion and say: "stop fucking wasting my time with this bullshit"
but we must remember that Brownback is a Republican who belives that an invisible man in the clouds controls our existance and that homosexuality is a threat to the sacred institution of marriage.
Now I don't watch or buy or seek out pornography but I think there is nothing wrong with porno. In fact, I would suspect that the main reason that pornography is so damn popular is because this society is so sexually repressed by these same Jesus-freaks. Seeing Janet Jackson poppin' out a titty on CBS earlier this year was awesome, but for some reason these religious nuts think it's immorral or whatever. Yo: The only thing immoral about Janet Jackson's right tit is the reaction to that mammory gland. As heard in Half-Baked: "That's a titty B!" Learn to enjoy and appreciate the body of the most attractive of those loony Jacksons.
But I'm off track here...
The point is that we don't need some staunch religious fanatics telling us that seeing arcing streams of jism is bad for the country (thank you Bill Hicks) or our moral fiber (whatever that means...). We don't need guys saying that "studies...show prolonged use of pornography leads to 'sexual callousness, the erosion of family values and diminished sexual satisfaction.' We need more people attesting that Ron Jeremy helped their sex-life by demonstrating new moves and other cool shit (like being a fat hairy bastard and getting paid to bone all day...thus providing inspiration and confidence to millions). Pornography is good. Religous nuts are bad.
In other news...
Who Smokes the Most Dope in Europe?-sadly, it's not Milo from mo ca$h.
Sorry about the rambling entry. I'm still testy...
And thanks to all who leave comments. I raise a High-Life in your honor.
EDIT: In keeping with the theme today, go enjoy Timmy's Wish with a special appearance by Jeusus.
I'm out...