Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Mmmkay, the good news is that to be a Mom you don't have to be a genius or clever or benevolent (although I'm sure those things help). Really there are 2 things that really help prevent kid-made-house-disasters. Ready?

LISTEN and be QUICK

For example, after your daughter goes to the bathroom if she informs you that she used "many wet wipes" that is a code. You will only hear this code if you are listening. This code phrase means "I filled up the toilet with the entire roll of toilet paper." (Listening also entails being aware of silence, silence and evil are often combined and you will find a kid dusting your front window butt-naked or sitting in your bathroom sink eating a tube of toothpaste, hypothetically of course.)

Now when you find this hypothetical toilet filled with urine and 10lbs of toilet paper this is the time to be quick. Why? Because while you decide how to fish out the paper without putting your hand in the toilet (man a few more minutes and our noodle spoon would've sacred its life), your other child will throw in one of his wood puzzle pieces while the original offender proceeds to flush the toilet. Then both hands will be submerged into the toilet to retrieve both items.