A Day in the Life

By now, I'm sure many of you have seen this amazing article, which chronicles a graduate student's attempt to watch black widow spiders mate in order to further her research on their courtship behaviors.

The first thing I thought when I read the piece was, "This makes me feel better about the pace of my own research!" The second thing was, "Wait. This is the pace of my own research!" And so, in that spirit, I give you:

Christina VanDyke Spent All of Friday Afternoon Waiting for Her Projects to Progress

CVD: So, what are y'all up to? I'm waiting for some ideas to develop, & they are taking their sweet time. #philosophy
1:46pm

Christina VanDyke is a philosophy professor working at Calvin College. She's studying medieval mysticism, Thomas Aquinas's account of perfect happiness, and gendered eating norms. That means her research often involves waiting for projects to progress.

And because her computer is portable (so she doesn't have to go out to her office to record each new idea every time she has one), even when she's not on campus, she can be waiting for ideas to develop. That was the case last Friday, when she opened up three work-in-progress files to try to bulk up the numbers in one area of her research profile.

Once she'd opened up each file, she settled in to drink coffee. When we asked why, she explained, "I was sitting in the coffeeshop hoping to catch an idea in the moment because it's easier to tell for sure that ideas are plausible when you're working them out in real life than by reviewing sentence fragments in files when you've forgotten what you meant to say."

Her wait, recorded in tweets, gives you a taste of how much patience goes into studying philosophy.

By 2:00 pm on Friday afternoon, she’s already spent two hours watching her ideas act like middle schoolers at an 8th grade dance.

CVD: These 3 ideas entered their respective paper projects about 2 h ago. One of them just touched on the central thesis! The others are just chilling

CVD: oh wait no, the first idea to touch on the thesis has taken a step back, and is now engaged in some serious self-reflection.
1:49pm

Things start looking up when one idea shifts into philosophical critique.

CVD: IDEA #1 IS THROWING SHADE ON THE THESIS! this is where it starts to get exciting, folks. The 'synthesis' is happening!!!!
1:56pm

CVD: Now it's right on top of the thesis, but a layer of further distinctions lies between it and the main point. That's not gonna work, idea #1.
2:43 PM

CVD: IDEA #1 HAS DONE IT. HE HAS CHANGED THE THESIS!
2:46 PM

Huzzah! But after a couple of minutes...

CVD: Idea #1 has decided that the distinction it was making wasn't quite right. It has removed its clause from the central thesis, and moved to the 'misc thoughts' section of the paper. ::::(
2:49 PM

What about the other projects? Nope, no thesis development there, either.

CVD: For those just tuning in, we're following the progress of 3 philosophical ideas that are supposed to be developing
3:14 PM

CVD: In project 1, we have idea #1, equipped with only one distinction, but of the 3 ideas, the only one that has managed to modify the paper's thesis
3:14 PM

CVD: In project 2, we have idea 2 and central thesis 2. Thesis 2 has been inert for some time. Idea 2 has been working out its wording for a good 15 minutes.
3:16 PM

CVD: And in project 3, idea and thesis 3 have done nothing at all for, oh, I'm guessing about an year?
3:16 PM

CVD: Now that thesis #1 has made some repairs, idea 1 has to go back and undermine more of its framework again
3:29 PM

Before philosophical ideas start changing a project, they destroy part of the central thesis's framework. VanDyke has found that this behavior keeps other ideas from finding the thesis and edging the first idea out. If the thesis re-establishes its grounding, the new philosophical idea needs to back up and re-destroy part of it. VanDyke also explains why it matters that idea #1 only has one distinction.

CVD: The cool thing about philosophy is that its units of analysis (distinctions) are totally separate from its insights, where original ideas are produced
4:14 PM

CVD: When a philosophical insight matures, it opens a new file and ejaculates original ideas onto it.
4:14 PM

CVD: Then its sucks the original idea up into its distinctions (which make analytic philosophy possible)
4:15 PM

CVD: With its distinctions thus "charged" with original ideas, the philosophical insight is ready to go find a paper project and stuff the original idea inside the paper's allotted word count
4:16 PM

CVD: Meanwhile, back in project 1, idea 1 is moving closer and closer to the central thesis.
4:17 PM

This is, for those of you counting, idea #1’s sixth move toward the thesis.

CVD: Everything is happening all at once! Idea 1 is making contact with the thesis. The crucial point of its distinction is moving into the thesis's primary formulation!
4:25 PM