The Struggles of Living From Afar

Happy July!!! I hope that summer has been treating you well! July has been an amazing month so far for me! Not only because it’s my birthday month *woot! woot!* but I’ve gotten to see quite a bit of family and friends within the last few weeks and have been feeling extremely grateful.

We traveled to Minnesota during July Fourth weekend for David’s family reunion, and I got to celebrate my birthday with some of the dearest people. I truly had the best time, but sadly, these types of weekends just never last long enough! It makes you feel so homesick on the road back home. It’s a little bit easier to deal with now, but it was definitely tough during our first year in Dallas.

Moving to a new city can bring all kinds of emotions to the mind and body. The feeling of excitement, hope, motivation, sadness and fear… it all sits there tumbling inside of your mind and stomach in the back seat with your packed boxes.

My brain laid numb, taken over by the rush of wonder.

Coming to Dallas was the second biggest move in my life since moving to Arkansas. It was an exciting time for the both of us and we were so in love with this city – and still are! – but times also got quite lonely. I mean, we moved from a place where we grew from teens into adults, and built a strong foundation with people we admire, love and grew so comfortable with. So for me, moving to a city and knowing only a hand full of people (literally) was tough. I had to start all over again. And to be quite honest, as an adult, it was socially harder for me than it was when I was a teen, but that’s a whole other topic of its own.

Weekends just weren’t the same. There was always a yearning for home and being where your comfort lived and wanted to be. I missed our family and friends and the weekly hangouts we all had. I missed people who were already far but were now even farther since we moved further south. Plenty of times during my first couple of months, I pondered about the moments and inside jokes I’d miss out on – causing major FOMO (the fear of missing out). Desperately wanting to live in that moment with your loved ones, attending all of their life changing events and only getting to imagine what it might be like. I always just wanted to be where I couldn’t be.

Though I felt like this most of our first year here, we were so fortunate to have visitors almost every month! All the visits made us feel so much more at “home,” and were the cure to our most lonely days. So thank you.. thank you to all of you.

For those of you who are curious, thinking about it or ready to make the big move, don’t let my thoughts and emotions scare you off. I’m honestly just a sensitive and emotional person. (I can cry for no reason when I listen to a sad song, lol… so that says a lot.) But I think that at some point, everyones goes through these wave of emotions and you know what? It is totally normal and okay. You learn from them, grow and learn how to adapt without ever truly losing the connections you want to keep. I’ve been here for almost two and half years and don’t plan on leaving any time soon.

p.s. these are candy cigs that we bought from an old school candy shop in Deep Ellum

I experienced the loneliness, but I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting new people, creating more friendships and building stronger bonds with the people we already knew here. ‘The more the merrier!’ is what I like to say. Living in a new city with David has also molded our relationship in so many ways. It didn’t necessarily force us to be together more, but it taught us how to truly enjoy each other’s company. We were so used to group gatherings so it just felt a little different when it became just the two of us. It was a good learning curve and I feel that we’ve really found fulfillment within ourselves.

So never be fearful, my friend. We live this life only once. Go and fulfill your heart’s wildest dreams! The people who love us will never truly be that far away.

2 thoughts on “The Struggles of Living From Afar”

This was a lovely post, Emily! Thanks for sharing! I’m happy to hear that the both of you are finding each other’s company fulfilling and nurturing despite the physical distance from loved ones. Sorry Chang and I missed you both when you were here! Happy belated bday.