~ And other funny sh*t

Category Archives: Automobiles

Listen, when you gotta just floss your pimpness nothing says “I’m the baddest dude on the planet” like a late model Chevy Caprice with 22 inch wheels and Frosted Flakes painted on the side. Frosted Flakes can be interpreted so many different ways and a whip like this is just a giant middle finger to the cops.

So I’m a huge motorcycle guy….I sold my R1 a few years back but I have been eyeballing a new set of wheels ever since. I was never much of a wheelie or trick guy…. I didn’t like the idea of smashing up my bike to learn all the finer points. I was always a speed / cornering guy….and my risk was always very calculated. If it wasn’t safe…I wouldn’t do it. One of the things on my bucket list is to drive the Isle of Man on a 200 MPH bike….it’s going to cost me some dough….but I will make it happen some day.

Aside from making your toes curl, you have to appreciate the trick riders. Check out these guys bombing around Boston last summer. There was a few occasions where I thought one of them would eat pavement….

So I got a ticket a few months back for “unsafe operation of a vehicle”. I essentially came up on an intersection a little too fast and a cop slapped me with a 25 dollar ticket…my speed was estimated for the record. Whatever…my fault..the cop was reaching a bit and could have turned his cheek…but at the end of the day he was only doing his job. So I put the ticket in my glovey….and of course I forget all about the friggin thing.

While thumbing through my mail today I find out that because of that ticket and my habit of not checking my mail in a timely fashion….my license has been suspended. Again…my fault….right?

Lets talk price now. That original 25 dollar ticket is now going to cost me 180 dollars. The ticket is 3 months old…thats a 620% jump. What’s ironic here is there are government agencies who are supposed to protect you from this type of predatory business practice. I mean f*ck if my name was Vinny and I was handing out loans at this interest rate down on Hanover street I would be thrown in federal prison.

But hey this isn’t a loan right? The RMV will tell you straight up that having a license is a “privilege”. And to that my answer is and will always be….When has it ever been a privilege to drive in Massachusetts? It may have been privilege in 1910 when there was 100 cars on the road. I like to think of it more as a necessary liability.

A necessity because most of us have a sizable commute that public transit cannot handle effectively given the demands of todays workforce. A liability because the driving laws in Massachusetts are a f*cking joke. I have to avoid being killed an average of 4 to 5 times a day because of people on cell phones, no turn signals, law breaking pedestrians, drunk/high drivers, people passing in the right lane, people pretending they don’t know how a rotary works, people who forget how to drive in bad weather, cars that just dont look like they could ever pass inspection and of course the assholes who think a single lane can fit 3 cars wide. Because I’m cool…today I will leave blue heads and Asian drivers out if it. You know I got love for you but I gotta keep it real here.

Now, have I ever broken driving laws before? Of course. But I will tell everyone that I am a step 9 which is as clean as it comes as far as driving records go. And it will stay that way even after I pay Vinny the RMV because this type of infraction doesn’t mark up your score. My point here is that its not a “privilege” to drive…its a necessity. And if the RMV and their enforcement arm isn’t going to make it a “privilege” then they should charge accordingly.

I will end on this…in Germany it’s a privilege to drive. Your license takes months to study for and costs an average of 3000 US dollars to attain after you pass a pretty tough road test. Germany has one of the lowest drunk driving rates in the world but has one of the highest alcoholism rates. You get an OUI…you never drive again. You are not allowed to drink or eat behind the wheel while you drive. A simple infraction like not using your turn signal carries a 1500 dollar penalty and if I remember correctly there’s a 2 strike rule.

Thanks to Ike, the Autobahn is the grandfather of our modern interstate system here in the United States.

Why would we adopt the worlds only road without a speed limit as the template for 93 South without adopting the traffic laws that were designed to go with it?

So I guess the Gronkmeister loves Ford…..Rodman Ford to be exact. Mr. Rodman is a Dot Rat, I believe his family is from Upham’s Corner (I think)….so I can understand why Gronk would wan’t to hang with them….it has nothing to do with a free vehicle…really.

Anyway….whats up with Gronk’s line at the end? Did he write that shit?

not to make up for any insecurities, mainly because I’m a full blown adrenaline junky. And so I can add a segment to this video of me going 170mph down Morrissey Blvd trying to get airborne over the Malibu bridge.