The Mom Stop: Tears, bruises mark ‘terrible 2s’

Tuesday

May 30, 2017 at 11:25 AMMay 30, 2017 at 11:27 AM

Lydia Seabol Avant More Content Now

I was curled up in bed around dawn last week, snuggling with my toddler as it stormed outside.

It’s part of our morning routine that my husband brings our youngest daughter into bed while I’m still asleep as she’s almost always the first of our three kids to wake up each day. If the sun is rising, so is she.

My little girl, who just turned 2, put her little hand on my face and rolled around, before sitting up. But when her daddy told her it was time to get up for the day, she screamed “NO!”

It was at that point that I saw a flash of light as the back of my young daughter’s skull collided with my right eye. She threw herself backward -- hard -- in protest. And in the process, we both ended up in tears. Her, with a pink Disney Princess ice pack she refused to put on her head, and me with a frozen bag of riced cauliflower on my eye as my eyebrow quickly swelled.

After the shock of the blow and the stinging pain lessened, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Welcome to the terrible 2s.”

We have three kids. I’ve been through this stage twice before. I’ve actually thought age 3 was worse than 2. But the toddler years, I’ve found, fade from the memory of motherhood. Yes, I remember trying to peel my son at age 2 off the floor of Publix because he was overly tired. At that age, he used to hold his breath when he was mad until he started to turn blue. I remember the time I was at the beach when my oldest daughter was a toddler and she threw her head back and busted my lip. I know the usual tactics: The limp body, the face plant into the ground, the kicking and crying, the child refusing to walk in an attempt to get their way.

But somehow the “terrible 2s” are like childbirth or those first awful few weeks of parenthood where you survive on no sleep: Memories fade. What seems so awful in the moment doesn’t seem to bad from the rear view mirror, years later. How else would people choose to have more children?

When you are in the thick of it, the “terrible 2s,” which often turns into having a “threenager” can be pretty emotionally trying. But according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, tantrums are completely normal and tend to get better after 3-years-old. Before kids are very verbal, they can become frustrated at their inability to express their needs or wants, which sometimes results in tantrums.

But there are some ways to reduce tantrums and survive them. Here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics:-- Give your child enough attention and praise her when she does something good. Positive reinforcement should start early.-- During a tantrum, give your child control over little things by offering small, direct choices. Avoid yes or no questions.-- Distract your child by moving to a new room, offer a different toy or by being silly.-- Choose your battles. It’s OK if you give in occasionally, as long as you remain consistent overall.-- Know your child’s limits. If tantrums happen when your child is hungry or tired, always have snacks on hand or prioritize their nap time.-- Have a zero-tolerance policy for behaviors like hitting, kicking, biting or throwing.-- Give yourself a break when you need it.

-- Lydia Seabol Avant writes The Mom Stop for The Tuscaloosa News. Reach her at lydia.seabolavant@tuscaloosanews.com.