The past few years this day has been hard. Today is not different. I rejoice with other women and their celebrations of motherhood, but inside I’m crying for me.

Patience is challenging. Waiting is painful.

Somedays I can push all my desires to the background and continue to trudge forward through the work that is currently at hand, but Mother’s Day is the day when it’s simply pushed in my face. The work that I deeply desire has not yet come to pass. It’s tough to swallow some years.

You are not a mother – not this year – not to your own kids.

I rejoice knowing that one day the plan I cannot see will be seen. Whatever is waiting in the years ahead will be known to me and I rejoice that it has been planned for all eternity. I take comfort in that -knowing that I could never make a more perfect plan. I relish in these childless years and the way they are shaping me, teaching me and God willing making me the mom I’ll need to be.