Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Things I do and do not believe in

First, let's start with the positive:

I DO believe in Paula Abdul. I know it sounds strange, but I currently adore her. A couple months ago I quit the workout facility that will not be named because it was charging me more than $50 a month to feel guilty about not going. So I started running. When it became clear that my squatty body was made for something else, I turned to Paula. She always is so encouraging, telling me I did a great job. You know, even if it's on a DVD and I hear the same thing day after day, it's nice to have that in my life. I look forward to it. She's a good dancer with a huge amount of kinetic intelligence. Plus she seems very, very nice. I've never seen her on that singing show but I did just buy another one of her dance workout DVDs. I haven't done it all the way through yet, but I did hear her say, "OK, we're going to learn the hoedown." I mean, really.

OK. Enough of that. But realize I REALLY REALLY believe in Paula Abdul. That Emilio's an idiot.

I DO NOT believe in the thermo-protective powers of fleece. I just don't. It may be cozy and soft, but I believe it does not have the warming powers of a natural fiber. I have never had on a piece of fleece outerwear and thought, man, I am WARM. It's more like, man, what the hell use is this thin piece of nothing I'm wearing? I think the popularity of fleece is a conspiracy, and that everyone who raves about it is getting a cut. Now, that said, it is very cold in my apartment, and I don't have a leather sweater for just lazing about in, so I am *considering* buying a fleece pull-over. So, um, any suggestions?

And here's a new one to add to my list: I DO NOT believe in dry cleaning. I asked my hotel in Florida, in order to make up for the maybe-maybe-not bed bugs in my room, to launder my clothes. I had read on the internets (man, I never get tired of saying that) that bed bugs die in the dryer. Well, instead, my clothes came back dry-cleaned. It was pretty funny to see my ratty t-shirts and pajama bottoms on hangers and hermetically sealed in the hotel lobby. Now, without getting into too many details, I can tell you that I don't think they're clean. I mean, they're pressed nicely. But how can they be clean without getting wet? It's unnatural. I believe in the cleaning powers of wet.