"If this material works well I'm going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Earn me some serious Tubmans," he added.

Obama railed about the tone in politics and made predictable self-deprecating remarks about his old age and how being in office has wreaked havoc on his appearance. Then, things got more serious (and more entertaining) when he put the GOP, the media and Donald Trump on blast.

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He turned his guns to the Republican party first, mocking party chair Reince Priebus for thinking he deserved a night off before saying of Trump's ascendance, "Congratulations on all your success: the Republican party, the nomination process. It's all going great. Keep it up!"

To the media, he said, "I hope you all are proud of yourselves. [Trump] wanted to give his hotel business a boost and now we are praying that Cleveland makes it through July."

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He also lambasted Trump for not attending the soirée:

I am a little hurt that he's not here tonight. We had so much fun that last time. And it is surprising. You've got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras. And he says no. Is this dinner too tacky for the Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home eating a Trump steak, tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What's he doin'?

But if Trump does become president, Obama added, "There's one area where Trump's experience could be invaluable ... closing down Guantanamo. Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground."

Obama then showed a video of him and former House Speaker John Boehner and what an Obama retirement might look like:

The president's comedic timing was on point, as usual, and his ability to deliver a jovial joke with a smile or a scathing barb with a stern look served as a reminder that we have been spoiled for the past eight years. As Obama said, "Next year at this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot and it's anyone guess who she will be."