When God closes a cell door, He opens a window

Sure, you’re breathing a sigh of relief now that traffic scofflaw Paris Hilton is being sent back to jail… but wait, what’s this? Right below People’s report on Paris’ reincarceration is this article. It’s as if the universe sensed that (for the next 45 days, at least) there would be an aching void of well-lacquered rich gals who can’t sing.