Will I ever feel close to this baby?

This is my 2nd baby. I feel like I will never feel any sort of connection to this baby until it is born. I hardly even have a moment to think about the baby and being pregnant. Working full time, taking care of my 14 month old, taking care of everything else and feeling like crap all the time is just too much. I was so looking forward to being pregnant again, and it is not at all like I thought it would be. When I finally lay down in bed for the night, I try to have a moment to think about the baby, but I usually end up rolling over and go to sleep instead, because I just don't feel anything...

Comments (19)

It'll happen. I'm so busy with my toddler and everything going on right now that i don't think about being pregnant much either.
When i was pregnant with my daughter, i had already had a name picked out and everything. This time around we only have a boys name agreed upon and we argue sporadically about girls names.

Give it time, the further along you get and after the baby starts moving a lot you'll start feeling better about it.

I think it's hard because we can't feel him/her moving yet. I'm just beginning to feel the nesting instincts where I'll prepare the baby's room. I also know that with my first, I felt like I couldn't connect til I knew if it was a boy or a girl.... Before that it was just an alien in there....

My mother in law shows great preference for her eldest son (NOT my husband) which would worry me except that my mother assures me she never felt preference for one or the other (Thanks a lot mom!!!) and she is truly is very close to both my little brother (well not so little anymore, he's 30!) and I. So there's a little hope! And you know from baby #1, once you see that little face, you'll connect!

I had that during my second pregnancy too. I think it's way way common after the first. I was tired and stressed, plus I was really mourning the loss of the only child time with DS. I really had a hard time feeling like I was mentally ready for her arrival until I was so done being pregnant I wanted it to end.

The minute they put her on my stomach after she was born, it was instant, overwhelming love. Carrying a child is connecting, even if you aren't thinking about it and obsessing about it every single second. It's happening and you'll know it once you see their little face.

As others said, it will happen. I didn't find out the sex of my second child and never felt the connection I felt during my first pregnancy, when I knew she was a girl. Plus, let's face it, the second time around just isn't as exciting as the first. But the anatomy scan at 20 weeks makes the pregnancy even more real and feeling movement of course. For me, I connected with my second child more immediately after birth than I did with my first. With my first it was so weird to me to have this little person I didn't know looking at me! The second time around, it just felt natural. Maybe immediately after birth will be your moment too

As others said, it will happen. I didn't find out the sex of my second ch...

Posted
08/12/2015

As others said, it will happen. I didn't find out the sex of my second child and never felt the connection I felt during my first pregnancy, when I knew she was a girl. Plus, let's face it, the second time around just isn't as exciting as the first. But the anatomy scan at 20 weeks makes the pregnancy even more real and feeling movement of course. For me, I connected with my second child more immediately after birth than I did with my first. With my first it was so weird to me to have this little person I didn't know looking at me! The second time around, it just felt natural. Maybe immediately after birth will be your moment too

What she said. To a tee!! Insta-love connection with #2, it was mind blowing how fast it happened. #1 was a totally different kind of falling in love.

Don't worry too much. It's difficult to feel connected to something that's making you feel like crap lol. I had mixed feelings with both my first and this one too, going back and forth between excited to "you're annoying crap out me kid, stop making me feel like shit." And don't be surprised or feel guilty at all if you don't feel it right when the baby is born either. My sister's wasn't planned, she hated the baby all throught the pregnancy, then it was love at first sight. Me: been waiting for ten years, tried for 6 months, Overall feeling was over joyed, Was expecting love at first sight. Then when he was born it was so surreal, I thought holy crap, there's an ugly alien looking thing on my stomach that I'm now responsible for. Now, I can't imagine my life without him. When it happens like that the connection and love grow as to get to know them.

Same feelings here mama! This was a very unexpected and hate to admit unwanted pregnancy for me. I have my one baby (just turned 1 on Saturday) and I was happy with having just him. Second one creeps up and shocked and went through a whirlwind of emotions!

Scared, nervous, guilty, excited, happy (now), but still feel a disconnect because it was so unplanned! Hopefully once we start to feel that baby move, feel their little hiccups, and little feet under our rib cage we will be filled with joy and true excitement! You are not alone 😘. hugs XoXoX

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