As I often do, I reminisced about our courtship. We were both older, of course, and dating was very different from younger years. We both had jobs and grown children, obligations and a “history.” We were perhaps a bit more cautious and had a lot more control of our emotions. There is one thread that runs through the memories of our early days — that has continued through our married lives and that is — food.

Our first date was dinner. Our second date was dinner. Our third date, I cooked dinner for him: pot roast with potatoes and carrots. Several weeks later, he took me to a Greek restaurant (that’s no longer in business), and we went to Home Goods and purchased margarita glasses so we could have margaritas with the Baked Fish Mexican style he was cooking for our dinner that night.

He started dinner, I made margaritas and he put on Barry White and asked me to dance. I fell in love with him over dinner that night. The rest is history.

Our short years together have been filled with wonderful memories, marriages of children, the joy of grandchildren, and yes, some heartache – the loss of my sweet Loraine and Steve’s amazing father. Even in the saddest of times, memories of the food stand out. Food that poured in while we were grieving and the memories shared around the table as family and friends gathered to grieve with us. Food sustained, gave us strength and even joy, in the midst of heartache.

I’m sure, if you are old enough to reminisce, you’ll have to agree that food plays a big part in many of your memories. Holidays, family gatherings, celebrations and even those not so great times, include food. We have to have it to survive, so it’s always going to be there. But, it’s the good meals (and sometimes the worst) that we remember the most.

This is why it is so important that we teach our youth how to prepare

those meals. As the “older” generation begins to die off, the new generation needs to pick up and carry on. If we are failing to teach our children to cook, then we are depriving them of a critical part of their futures.

I’m thankful that I grew up in a family that cooked. I’m glad that I had to take Home Economics in junior high. I realize how blessed I was to have a mother who, even though she worked all day, came home and made dinner for us and made us sit at the table with her and daddy to consume it. She encouraged me to cook, and had she not, I couldn’t have made Steve dinner — nor truly appreciated him cooking for me. I might not have fallen in love with him, and that would have been a tragedy. I wouldn’t have opened a casserole store, and I would have never become “Miss Sophie.” And if I hadn’t become Miss Sophie, you wouldn’t be reading this right now!

Food matters and someone has to cook it so please teach your children to cook. Who knows, they may never fall in love if you don’t!

Steve continues to cook delicious meals from time to time and he loves to cook fish. Here are a couple of recipes he uses — including the one that made me fall for him!

Teri Bell is co-owner of Miss Sophie’s Marketplace at the Mighty Eighth in Pooler. Go to sophiesmarketplace.com.

BAKED FISH – MEXICAN STYLE

1 ½ lbs. firm fish fillets

1 cup salsa

1 cup shredded sharp Cheddar Cheese

½ cup coarsely crushed tortilla chips

1 avocado peeled, pitted and slices

¼ cup sour cream

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lightly grease one 8X12 baking dish Lay fillets side by side in the prepared baking dish. Pour the salsa over the top and sprinkle with shredded cheese. Top with crushed chips. Bake uncovered in the preheated oven for 15 minutes or until fish is opaque and flakes with a fork. Serve topped with avocado and sour cream

GRILLED FILLET & ARTICHOKE PACKETS

6 fish fillets

1 stick butter

¼ cup chopped green onions

2 tablespoons parsley, chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

Zest and juice of 1 lemon

1 (14 oz) can artichoke hearts, drained and sliced

1 teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

Place each fillet on a large square of heavy duty aluminum foil. Melt the better in a medium saucepan over medium heat add green onions and parsley and sauté until tender. Stir in garlic. Add the lemon zest, juice, artichoke hearts, salt and cayenne and cook a few minutes until heated through. Crimp foil around the fish to hold sauce. Pour equal amounts of sauce mixture over the fillet. Close the foil around the fish. Place the packets on a hot grill. Cook until the fish just begins to flake when tested with a fork, approximately 12 – 15 minutes.

Then I suggest that you join the Friends of the Coastal Gardens at 7 p.m. March 13 at the Coastal Georgia Botanical Gardens at the Historic Bamboo Farms for its annual Wild Game and Fish Fry Dinner. With alligator, venison, duck, quail and pheasant on the menu, that’s about as wild as you can get! And Jim’s frying fish again this year so you can add a little surf to tame you down if you get a little too wild. All the proceeds go to support my favorite place in Savannah: the Coastal Georgia Botanical Gardens at the Historic Bamboo Farms.

Frances Hodgson Burnett said, “As long as you have a garden you have a future, and as long as you have a future you are alive” and if that is true, then our future is alive and flourishing at Coastal Gardens. The staff and volunteers are creating a little piece of heaven in the middle of suburban sprawl. An afternoon stroll through the gardens can wash away days of stress. Stepping out of the chaos of this world into a space that is full of life and beauty can renew even the weariest of souls.

How can you not smile as the butterflies and birds dance between trees and plants? How can you not feel renewed in strength when you gaze upon the tender shoots of new growth that push through layers of dirt in search of light and warmth? And the beauty of a frilly camellia bloom that appears in the coldest times of the year is an example of the purest form of hope. Savannah is so blessed to have people who are willing to put the effort into growing and maintaining this beautiful space — just for our enjoyment.

This past week, I sat down with three of those wonderful people — Jo Ann Morrison and Barbara Coley, co-chairs of this year’s supper, and my good friend, Pat Hackney.

These food mavens are giving their time and knowledge to ensure this year’s Wild Game and Fish Fry Dinner is the best one yet!

Barbara is making her Venison Sausage Sliders topped with Pat’s delicious Jezebel sauce. Jo Ann is making Pheasant and Duck Gumbo, using Bethesda pheasants. These women are so talented in the kitchen, and their passion for the gardens is evident within just a few minutes of conversation with them. As they talked about the recent opening of the Andrew’s Center and the future of the Children’s Garden, among other things, they beamed as if they were telling me about their grandchildren.

We talked about food and gardens — two of my favorite things — for longer than an hour. And they shared recipes with me — which always makes me very happy! Jo Ann’s Gumbo recipe is a gem and full of wonderful information! Barbara shared venison chili recipes and an Ocilla Slaw recipe that is perfect for a summer outing.

I also got a an advance copy of the menu for this year’s dinner: Barbara’s Venison Sausage Sliders, Duck Breast Bites, Al’s Alligator Nuggets, Jo Ann’s Pheasant and Duck Gumbo, Sue’s Venison Chili, Grilled and Fried Quail, Jim’s Fried Fish and Hush Puppies, Grits, Hot Biscuits, Ocilla Slaw and Garden Salad and an assortment of warm cobblers for dessert from Miss Sophie’s. The tickets are $35 per person and can be purchased by calling Liz Lubrani at 912-921-5460. The deadline for ordering is March 6, so hurry up and give them a call. I assure you that you can’t get a better meal for the price and in the process you’ll be helping assure we continue to have this beautiful space to enjoy.

To learn more about the Coastal Georgia Botanical Gardens and the Wild Game and Fish Fry, go to its website at www.coastalgeorgiabg.org.

Teri Bell is co-owner of Miss Sophie’s Marketplace at the Mighty Eighth in Pooler. Go to sophiesmarketplace.com.

JO ANN’S PHEASANT AND DUCK GUMBO

This recipe isn’t for the faint of heart. If it scares you, just go to the Supper and eat Jo Ann’s Gumbo .

It is important to do all the chopping and measuring before you begin the gumbo process.

4 pheasants and 6 duck breasts, cut into serving pieces or small bites

1 pound Andouille or other spicy smoked sausage

1 tablespoon coarse ground black pepper

1 teaspoon paprika

½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

½ cup oil

Wash and thoroughly dry the pheasant and duck pieces. Mix salt, pepper, paprika and cayenne together in a small bowl. Sprinkle over meat. Heat ½ cup oil in a large heavy pot. Working in batches, brown meat until golden brown. Transfer to a plate and set aside. Cut sausage into ½ in rounds, add to the pot and cook until browned. Transfer to plate with pheasant and duck and set aside.

CAJUN ROUX

1 cup vegetable oil

1 ½ cups flour

2 cups onion, roughly chopped

1 cup celery, roughly chopped

1 cup bell peppers, roughly chopped

¼ cup garlic, freshly chopped

Heat oil in a large, heavy bottom sauce pot. Add the flour stirring constantly. As the roux begins to bubble, keep the heat on low and stir the roux constantly. The process may take 30 to 45 minutes. DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE OR THE DOOR! It is imperative to stay with the roux, stirring constantly as it darkens to dark caramel or chocolate color. Should black specs appear in your roux, discard it and start again! Onions are always added to the roux first, cook about five minutes and then add the celery and finally the bell peppers. Add the garlic after the veggies have cooked in the roux for a few minutes.

Add the chicken stock one ladle at a time, stirring constantly. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer about 10 minutes. Add browned pheasant, duck and sausage and simmer 1 to 1 ½ hours. Serve over rice.

Note: This is a basic guide for gumbo. However, gumbo is wonderful with various seafood, duck, chicken, Tasso ham and quail. There is a Lenten version that is served on Good Friday called Gumbo Z’ herbs that contains only vegetables and no meat.

When we were cleaning out my in-laws’ cottage in November, I (of course) was delegated to go through the kitchen items.

In doing so, I found an old three-ring binder in which my mother-in-law had listed all the dinner and lunch parties she hosted. The list started with Christmas Dinner, December 1958 and the last entry was in 1999. Under each date, she listed the menu, a list of attendees and those who were invited but were unable to attend — and, in some cases, why they couldn’t attend.

If it were for a special event, such as Dad’s retirement or Valentine’s Day, she noted that and in some cases she even noted the décor she used. She also made notes about the menu items or the menu in general. Next to one menu she noted “kept me in the kitchen all night.” I never saw that menu again in her book. I quizzed my mother-in-law about the book and the labor it took to maintain and she simply replied, “I enjoyed doing it.”

Mom Bell is from a different era. She stayed at home with the children, was a member of the country club, played golf, tennis and bridge and she loved to entertain. She didn’t have food shows to watch or the Internet to search for recipes. Her meals and recipes came from cookbooks, magazines and friends. She compiled these recipes into two three-ring binders, which I also now have. There are notes beside the recipes rating the recipe: “Good,” “Very Good” and sometimes “NO.” The binders are divided into categories just like a cookbook. If she obtained the recipe from a friend, she jotted down the friend’s name beside the recipe. She made notes to help her the next time she made the dish.

Her recipes and her menus were simple, compared to today’s standards. The appetizer often was a relish tray of olives and pickles, nuts or a chipped beef dip with crackers. Many of them include a gelatin salad of some sort because they were all the rage during that time. Her entrees were simple and full of flavor and often items that could be made in advance so she could enjoy being with her guests. That is what Mom’s parties were about — being together with family and friends, not to show off her culinary wizardry.

I think that one of the many reasons that dinner parties are rare is that we think we have to serve everything perfect and with a “wow” flavor. We have to give it Emeril’s “BANG” to make it any good — or so we think. Perhaps, even with our busy schedules, we would be more willing to entertain if we went back to simpler meals. We aren’t television chefs and we need to quit trying to be one. Cook what you know and enjoy and your friends and family will enjoy it, too. If they want earth-moving pizzazz and flavor, there are lots of great restaurants they can go to and invite you to come along!

I found many treasures in Mom’s kitchen and dining room: old cookbooks, cheese boards and the tablecloth her mother crocheted for her to name a few, but the records of her parties and her recipe binders are by far the greatest treasure. They are precious history books that tell her story. I am the keeper of the memories which will be passed down to Steve’s daughter and hopefully to her children.

Mom is 88 now. She is unable to entertain and in need of 24-hour care. She will never get to meet or know her great-grandchildren, but they will know her thanks to the beautiful stories told between the pages of these binders.

Teri Bell is co-owner of Miss Sophie’s Marketplace at the Mighty Eighth in Pooler. Go to sophiesmarketplace.com.

CHICKEN ALA KING

I was surprised to find out that some people don’t know what this is! That can be a plus for young cooks. You can pass it off as a new “wow” dish! Mom used it often when she entertained women for lunch.

1/4 cup butter, cubed

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup chicken broth

1 cup half & half or heavy whipping cream

2 cups cubed cooked chicken

1 cup frozen garden peas

1 can (4 ounces) mushrooms, drained or 1 cup fresh mushrooms sliced

1 jar (2 ounces) diced pimientos, drained

Puff Pastry Shells

In a large saucepan, melt butter; stir in flour and salt until smooth. Add the broth and cream; bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Stir in the chicken, mushrooms, peas and pimientos; heat through. Serve over puff pastry shells.

CLUB CHICKEN

This was another popular dish at Mom’s parties. It’s a lot like the Chicken Ala King, but a little more substantial. She loved it because she could make it advance and slip it in the oven while she was having pre-dinner drinks with her guests.

Romance: Candlelight, soft music in the background and a state of euphoric bliss with the person of our dreams. At least that’s what the books and movies tell us.

But then we had to grow up. We had kids, got higher paying jobs with demanding hours, and well, “we got just plum tuckered out” as my grandmother would have said.

I don’t think romance dies as time goes on, but rather our definition of romance changes. Webster defines romance as “a love affair.” The familiarity between two people that comes with time bends and molds our definition of romance.

My oldest son and daughter-in-law have four children under the age of 6. They both have jobs, home school and wash a whole lot of clothes. Their lives are run on a strict budget, but every month they schedule a date night.

The dates aren’t extravagant. A movie or a visit to the ice cream shop qualifies. One month last year when they had to do repairs to their vehicle, their date night was a pizza and chocolate on the porch after the little ones were put to bed. The important thing was that they took time out to be with each other and that is romantic. Carving out a few minutes in their hectic schedules is much more romantic than a dozen roses.

Has it been a little bit of time since you carved out some special time with your love? Well don’t fret. Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year, which will give everyone plenty of time to prepare for a special day or night.

It’s easy to throw a romantic dinner this time of the year. The aisles of stores are laden with rose petals, candles, teddy bears and chocolates. So, pull out the linen tablecloth and napkins, use the good china and crystal (it really is supposed to be used to eat on, not to decorate the china cabinet) and prepare to romance the love of your life.

Cook their favorite meal or try something new that has the ingredients they love. The meal doesn’t have to be all fancy-dancy. A pretty table and the fact that you took the time to make it will provide all the love and romance needed.

Pasta dishes, like the one below, are easy and elegant. The sauce can be prepared earlier in the day and then just before serving, all you have to do is reheat the sauce and cook the pasta. Since I wanted the dish to be extra special, I decided to bypass the grocery store pastas and purchased locally made pasta from Savannah’s own pasta makers at Frali Gourmet on Liberty Street.

With their help, I chose Conchiglie for this dish, which was perfect!

If you must choose pasta from the grocery stores, then small shell-shaped pasta will suffice, but I encourage you to try to make it downtown to their store. The difference in the flavor and texture are well worth it.

The dish also contains saffron, which is pretty pricey. One of my staff members told me that you could buy it in smaller quantities at The Salt Table. I stopped by their store in Pooler and was able to purchase enough for this and three or four more dishes for about $8. Since the meat is inexpensive, the splurge on the saffron still keeps the meal relatively inexpensive.

Pair this meal with a good salad, some fresh bread, a good white wine and finish it off with my delicious Strawberry Cake. If that doesn’t say “I love you” then I don’t know what does.

I hope your Valentine’s Day — and every day — will be filled with lots of love, laughter and good food!

Teri Bell is co-owner of Miss Sophie’s Marketplace at the Mighty Eighth in Pooler. Go to sophiesmarketplace.com.

CONCHIGLIE PASTA WITH CHICKEN SAFFRON AND GREEN OLIVES

1 cup chicken broth

A very generous pinch of saffron threads

1 tablespoon olive oil

4 oz. diced pancetta (found in the deli section)

1 large onion, chopped finely

2 whole chicken legs with thigh attached

1 cup of dry white wine

6 small sprigs fresh thyme

¼ cup pine nuts

½ cup pitted Castelvetrano green olives

Salt and Pepper

A pinch of Cayenne

12 ounces Conchiglie pasta (or small shell-shaped pasta)

Heat the chicken broth in a small saucepan and add the saffron to it. Simmer for 5 minutes and set aside. In a large skillet with a lid, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add the pancetta and cook for 3-4 minutes or just until it begins to crisp. Add the onion and sauté until tender. Salt and pepper the chicken legs and add them to the skillet. Brown lightly on both sides. Add the wine and thyme and saffron broth. Bring back to a boil, reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer for 30-40 minutes or until the chicken is tender. Remove the skillet from the heat. Transfer the chicken to a plate and allow it to cool slightly. Skim any excess fat off the sauce. Debone the chicken and return the meat to the sauce. (At this point, you can cool the sauce and complete just before serving). Stir in pine nuts, olives and cayenne. Simmer for 10-15 minutes. Taste for seasoning and adjust accordingly. Cook the pasta according to the package directions, drain and add to the sauce, tossing well.

STRAWBERRY CAKE

2 cups white sugar

1 small package (3 oz.) of strawberry gelatin

1 cup butter, softened

4 eggs

2 ¾ cup cake flour

2 ½ teaspoons baking powder

1 cup milk

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

½ cup strawberry puree (use unsweetened frozen strawberries)

STRAWBERRY ICING

½ cup butter, softened

¼ cup strawberry puree

1 pound powdered sugar

Cake: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray three 9 inch round cake pans with baking spray. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter, sugar and dry strawberry gelatin until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time, mixing well after each egg. Combine flour and baking powder. Add the flour and milk alternately to the batter beginning with flour and ending with flour. Pour into prepared pans. Bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Cook pans on a wire cooling rack for 8-10 minutes. Turn cake out onto a cooling rack and allow to cool completely before icing.

Icing: Using an electric mixer, cream all ingredients together until smooth.