South Africa to build wall around Joburg to keep immigrants away

Mayor Mashaba has angered many with his anti- immigrants remarks, but now his Spokesperson for Unintelligent Construction (SUC), Felix Hashe has announced Mashaba’s wall plan. Built to encircle Johannesburg, the wall will keep immigrants out – and Joburgers in.

“We also believe that Capetonians will be big fans of the wall, because they are always complaining about the Joburgers coming to their city and crowding their beaches,” Hashe says, “So this wall will serve them too. They can contribute towards it, in a special Joburg Wall Tax”.

Of course, the entire budget won’t be raised by grateful Capetonians, but Hashe has another plan for that – Zimbabweans. “We’ll make them pay, or they can just bring bricks over the border from Zimbabwe every time they cross Beit Bridge,” he says. “Mugabe has money – and if Grace wants to keep shopping at Sandton, she’ll have to contribute!”

Hashe will be issuing Joburg passports to those deemed “Wall Access Acceptable”. He says that Mashaba has yet to decide which side of the wall Soweto should be on.