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Is He the One?

Five Signs the Answer Is No and Exactly Why I Think So

So are you here for yourself, or for a friend? We've all been there one way or another. Is he into me? Is he not? Am I overthinking things? Am I not thinking things through enough? Or maybe you just can't listen to your friend talk about THAT guy one more time (mostly because you know he's definitely not as into her as she is into him). Either way, let's dive in, shall we?

1. He always seems to be a little too busy.

In the beginning, maybe you had a nice back and forth, but things started to go downhill at some point. He texts you first less and less, so you start texting him more. There's always an excuse to why he didn't reach out, and on the rare times he does... his responses come farther apart then you'd like... maybe even hours? If a guy is interested in you the absolute LEAST he will do is text you consistently if he doesn't have any other option. And if I'm being honest: you deserve more than some text messages anyways.

2. He straight up tells you he's not interested.

You're probably thinking this is the most obvious statement ever, but stay with me...Have you ever heard the classic, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship" line? Perhaps he even adds in, "but I'm open to seeing where this goes." If you want a serious relationship and he doesn't, that should be enough to turn you off. If that's not enough (hey, welcome to the club) you're probably thinking that you can change his mind. You'll impress him so much, make him want you so bad, that he gives in and decides to marry you (okay, okay, that's an exaggeration). But, seriously, if he's interested enough in you, then he's just going to go for it and hope for the best.

3. He's "interested" in other girls.

It sucks to admit it when it's right in front of you, but if you're good friends, the kind of "good friends" where he feels comfortable talking about girls with you and he does so frequently... he's probably not into you. You might rationalize, "he's trying to make me jealous." He's not. And if by some slim chance he is, I'm sorry but he's an idiot! Are you in middle school? If not (if you are...boys suck, hold off on dating for as long as possible — trust me) he's immature and not worth your time anyways. While making someone jealous may make you feel good about yourself, doing it on purpose is a very cruel thing to do and actually shows his lack of care for your feelings.

4. He makes eye contact with you 24/7.

This sounds like a good thing, I know. But if you look into psychology at all and learn how humans behave when they're interested in someone... you would see that if someone likes someone else, they avoid eye contact when speaking with them (especially if there's other people to look at instead) because they make them nervous. So, if he's always focused on you, don't be too flattered because, according to science, you don't make him nervous. And, if you don't make a guy nervous, is there any point in going for him? Hint: no.

5. Your friends don't like him.

Now, this one hinges on you having friends that ACTUALLY want you to be happy and find a good guy to spend the rest of your life with. So, if you have the type of friends that sabotage your happiness because they're unhappy, skip this one (also, side-note...maybe get some better friends)? Anyways, if your friends are thinking he's no good, he probably isn't! While you're blinded by his cuteness and glowing at the thought of a new boyfriend, your friends are scrutinizing their every move. Every look he gives you, each time he checks his phone, his social media pages, his friend group, how he looks at you when you're not looking at him...they're taking this all in! If they aren't impressed with what they're seeing, you shouldn't be impressed with him.

Now, after reading this, if you're kiiiinda feeling like maybe he's not the one...don't worry! Someone is. Your person is out there and when you find them, you'll read through this list and make it all the way through without once thinking, "hmm...is he REALLY interested?" Now, I must say, males are very tough to generalize and these five points can't possibly always mean he isn't into you, but my (totally random) guess is 95 percent of guys can be given the thumbs up or down based on this list. If he already has the thumbs up, smile. Be happy. Close the tab and go give him a hug because you're fortunate.