Bollywood forms their own BCCI to give clean chits to celebs with criminal cases

Mumbai. Taking a cue from the BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India), entire Bollywood has come together and formed a committee called BCCI (Bollywood crime control Investigation) to give clean chits probe all crimes committed by the fraternity.

“Bollywood is much bigger industry than cricket. If cricket guys are allowed to probe their cases, so should we,” argued Raza Murad, who came uninvited at our office and left in a hurry as he was getting late for a shoot to give bytes to media present at the cremation of a spot boy.

“And we have actors too who can play the role of judge, prosecutor, defense lawyer etc. in such probes,” added Arjun Rampal, though it is not sure if by actors he meant himself.

Mahesh Bhatt could become the first and possibly the lifetime President of the BCCI

“Don’t be under the impression that we are going to give clean chits so easily. The clean chits will be given to everybody only after a thorough probe is done by a panel headed by me,” clarified Mahesh Bhatt, a self proclaimed judge of anything and everything to do with Bollywood and this country.

After taking required permission from the Law Ministry, the new BCCI will reopen Sanjay Dutt’s case and he could thus become the first person to get clean chit in the 1993 bomb blasts case. Following this, clean chits would be given to Shiney Ahuja for the rape case against him and to all others who at some point have committed some crime or other.

Serial offender Salman Khan has also sought preemptive clean chits for all future crimes that he intends to do.

“Pak gaya tha yaar keh keh ke that my case is sub-judice. Now finally after so many years I can concentrate on my new crimes films,” said Salman Khan who was on his way to buy a 3 BHK flat to store all the clean chits he will get for various crimes he has done.

Sunny Deol was confident that BCCI would settle cases really fast and there would be no taareekh pe taareekh pe taareekh

“Bollywood has done a lot for people of this country by entertaining and teaching them good morals at the same time. Furthermore, these guys have already suffered because of many of them being tried under civil laws. Therefore they should be exempted from certain laws and regulations,” said Justice Katju lending his support to this demand.

Sources say that the new BCCI could also give clean chits to likes of Uday Chopra, Sajid Khan, etc. for various cases of mental torture registered against them.

Meanwhile in Pakistan, Dawood Ibrahim has also set up a probe headed by Chhota Shakeel and Anees Ibrahim to give himself clean chits in all extortion cases registered against him. However for other criminal cases against him and 1993 bomb blasts, he has expressed full faith in Indian Judiciary.