tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post5060577824612982892..comments2016-08-20T17:17:33.126-04:00Comments on There's No Crying in the War Room: The ContestNathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-42205923817710084412008-01-12T16:21:00.000-05:002008-01-12T16:21:00.000-05:00Whichever one you think is funniest, Nathan. I'm ...Whichever one you think is funniest, Nathan. I'm an equal opportunity colostomy bag commedienne.Janiece Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14190655869710465713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-14509034545090776692008-01-12T14:10:00.000-05:002008-01-12T14:10:00.000-05:00BTW, did any of you notice how I was influenced by...BTW, did any of you notice how I was influenced by <A HREF="http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=246" REL="nofollow">this</A> in Chapter Four?<BR/><BR/>Sneaky sumbitch, ain't I?Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-90460168970144866032008-01-12T14:04:00.000-05:002008-01-12T14:04:00.000-05:00Its very close to time to publish Chapter Thirteen...Its very close to time to publish Chapter Thirteen. You've got a little more time to enter the contest since,<BR/><BR/>1. I need to have lunch, and<BR/>2. I need to re-edit the chapter.<BR/><BR/>That'll take a little time, so let's get those last minute entries posted.<BR/><BR/>C'mon kids. We're in the homestretch.Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-36253401291984573292008-01-09T18:30:00.000-05:002008-01-09T18:30:00.000-05:00Burrito, version 2:Whoa, shouldn't have had the bu...Burrito, version 2:<BR/><BR/>Whoa, shouldn't have had the burrito for lunch. Well, at least we've finally found a weapon of mass destruction. What?Jim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-11066138053718401112008-01-09T16:15:00.000-05:002008-01-09T16:15:00.000-05:00Bill Clinton, Margret Thatcher, and the Pope walk ...Bill Clinton, Margret Thatcher, and the Pope walk into a bar...stop me if you've heard this oneJim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-24823631757168616742008-01-09T16:13:00.000-05:002008-01-09T16:13:00.000-05:00Wow, the camera really does add ten pounds, how ma...Wow, the camera really does add ten pounds, how many did you eat?Jim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-68562758823161165792008-01-09T16:12:00.000-05:002008-01-09T16:12:00.000-05:00Whoa, shouldn't have had the burrito for lunch. My...Whoa, shouldn't have had the burrito for lunch. My eyes are watering. We're gonna need to open a windowJim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-14159528572726710272008-01-08T23:09:00.000-05:002008-01-08T23:09:00.000-05:00Bryan and I thought up these:I'd like to exercise ...Bryan and I thought up these:<BR/><BR/>I'd like to exercise my executive privilege on your daughter.<BR/>The red button is for room service, right?<BR/>Are you sure you know where that cigar has been?<BR/>Is the red phone just for Domino's?<BR/>I bet the secret service guys will think the toy gun's funny.<BR/>The Vice President is probably a better lover, too.<BR/>I just signed every other paper on your desk and threw the rest away.<BR/>Napoleon compensated, too.<BR/>Nice cigar box.<BR/>Veto this!jerihttp://smugpuppies.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-60708529687390810272008-01-08T17:18:00.000-05:002008-01-08T17:18:00.000-05:00I hit post before I meant to. Anyway, if you can ...I hit post before I meant to. Anyway, if you can make out the "bolding", I think you'll agree the sentence takes on some different meanings depending on which word is stressed.Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-20822314119174115922008-01-08T17:16:00.000-05:002008-01-08T17:16:00.000-05:00Janiece,Is it "No, that's my colostomy bag." or "...Janiece,<BR/><BR/>Is it "No, that's <STRONG>my</STRONG> colostomy bag." or "No, that's my <STRONG>colostomy</STRONG> bag." or "No, <STRONG>that's</STRONG> my colostomy bag."Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-88284178135717250992008-01-08T12:43:00.000-05:002008-01-08T12:43:00.000-05:00"I'm more of a 'lone gunman' theorist, myself.""I'm more of a 'lone gunman' theorist, myself."Janiece Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14190655869710465713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-5255834474024953512008-01-08T12:42:00.000-05:002008-01-08T12:42:00.000-05:00"No, that's my colostomy bag.""No, that's my colostomy bag."Janiece Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14190655869710465713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-457488013583349152008-01-08T08:14:00.000-05:002008-01-08T08:14:00.000-05:00Jim,One of your entries (and I won't say which one...Jim,<BR/><BR/>One of your entries (and I won't say which one) is almost a duplicate of one of the ones I came up with myself.<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure if that means its terrific (great minds think alike) or totally lame (you guys should be able to come up with better than me),Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-29609003517359413282008-01-08T03:02:00.000-05:002008-01-08T03:02:00.000-05:00C'mon, pull my finger.C'mon, pull my finger.Jim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-49995576178599231352008-01-08T01:45:00.000-05:002008-01-08T01:45:00.000-05:00- (to the Secret Service Guard) Hey, is that a gun...- (to the Secret Service Guard) Hey, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?Jim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-44176388816806101802008-01-08T01:36:00.000-05:002008-01-08T01:36:00.000-05:00AhhGH!I haven't started reading this whole thing y...AhhGH!<BR/><BR/>I haven't started reading this whole thing yet, Nathan. Damnit, I just don't have <I>time</I> this week. I thought I'd have time next week, but oh hell no you've got to go and run a contest. Ahhgh! You're killing me.<BR/><BR/>And now, a contest, a fun contest, you're just doing this just to antagonize me, aren't you? <I>Aren't</I> you?<BR/><BR/><BR/>OK, since I haven't actually read the story yet, here's my entry in the blind:<BR/><BR/>- How Doggy! The First Daughter is a <I>lot</I> hotter in person.<BR/><BR/>- (in a rally bad Mexican accent, ala The Blues Brothers) The women, how much for your women?Jim Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11259550121437562338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-29351103523394638632008-01-07T08:05:00.000-05:002008-01-07T08:05:00.000-05:00I don't want to influence the entries here too muc...I don't want to influence the entries here too much, but remember, there's no George Bush in this book. The President in this story is MacKinzie Harper and I have no idea whether or not he has twins.<BR/><BR/>Just sayin'.Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-1509415258046350042008-01-07T07:11:00.000-05:002008-01-07T07:11:00.000-05:00"Are the twins home from college? I have a great d..."Are the twins home from college? I have a great drinking game we could all play."Todd Wheelerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00349317324371340746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-45277686287997042182008-01-06T22:30:00.000-05:002008-01-06T22:30:00.000-05:00"The Oval Office looks bigger in pictures.""The Oval Office looks bigger in pictures."Steve Buchheithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12999709767641212586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7052892652885729518.post-89939763199971608242008-01-06T22:29:00.000-05:002008-01-06T22:29:00.000-05:00"Boy, getting past the Secret Service was a lot ea..."Boy, getting past the Secret Service was a lot easier than planned."<BR/><BR/>"The Oval Office seems bigger without all the microphones."<BR/><BR/>"The bomb sniffing dogs must have had colds."<BR/><BR/>"The metal detectors sure <I>look</I> impressive."<BR/><BR/>Jeff Dunham is a ventriloquist who has done some TSA jokes. Since he travels with his "guys in the suitcase" he makes some funny ones. Like going through Chicago and being selected to have his suitcase opened. Walter (one of his dummies, and crotchey old guy) said, "So then he opened the case and I pop up and say, 'Shut the damn door.' Then I thought about it more and then said (in an Middle East accent) 'I do not want to go to Los Angeles.'" He also does a routing about them wiping the butt of one of his dummies, then having that chemical wipe test positive for "weapons grade explosive." But that sometimes "lotion will also test positive for that." In his later shows, "The Lotion" has become a running gag.Steve Buchheithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12999709767641212586noreply@blogger.com