befriend wrote:how do we look at things without creating defilments? thank you

argue against what you find true. it will give you an appreciation for another perspective, also it will show how personally you take things, how certain they are to you!look at your own arguments for the "thing" (when arguing in favour for it, are they personal or impersonal (there is a fine line people confuse here "that is foolish" as opposed to "you are foolish"). in the canon the Buddha is seen as calling people foolish (particularly within the vinaya) but what follows this is very telling

The Blessed Buddha rebuked him, saying, 'This would be improper, O foolish one, crooked, unsuitable, unworthy of a Samana, unbecoming, and it ought not to be done. How can you, O foolish one, adopt nakedness as the Titthiyas do? This will not conduce, O foolish one, to the conversion of the unconverted.'

it is quite obvious (to me at-least) that the Buddha is addressing the action being done, not the person, although he also has to address the person doing the act.but I shared a couple of videos from youtube which may help frame beliefs although they are not from a theravadin perspective.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion … ...He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.John Stuart Mill

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion … ...He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.John Stuart Mill

befriend wrote:grass, weeds, roses, my driveway a car. when i say say see it, i mean literally, see it. not see it in the sense how do i feel about its makeup.

reflect on it as a collection of parts, feeding on death, subject to die, withering.their downsides, they are after all subject to change, cost money, could be damaged, lost, stolen, needing maintained...

it would really depend on what it is how you reflect on it at the end of the day.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion … ...He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.John Stuart Mill

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion … ...He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.John Stuart Mill

befriend wrote:grass, weeds, roses, my driveway a car. when i say say see it, i mean literally, see it. not see it in the sense how do i feel about its makeup.

I think we need to inject some common sense in our practice.

I mean if looking at grass and liking it is your greatest defilement, then you are doing much better than me, befriend, and you should stop reading here. For that matter, you should probably stop reading this forum altogether.

Perhaps it is a lot more useful to cultivate the Brahmaviharas and the Paramis than worrying if we like grass or roses? But if you want a practice, then turning the attention inward and becoming aware of what is happening inwardly rather than being sways by the senses can be a good practice.

Dan74 wrote:I think we need to inject some common sense in our practice.

I mean if looking at grass and liking it is your greatest defilement, then you are doing much better than me, befriend, and you should stop reading here. For that matter, you should probably stop reading this forum altogether.

Notice that greed or anger is arising in the mind at the earliest possible. Remind yourself, "Look there is now greed or anger in the mind. They arise and will surely pass away. My only duty is to watch these defilements arise and pass; nothing more"

And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.