Saturday, February 04, 2006

Bob Garfield of Ad Age slammed the choice of the Rolling Stones as the Super Bowl halftime act, calling them "114-year-olds" who've "been around since the Jurassic period."

Adrants slammed Garfield back, praising the choice, saying he was out of touch with just how authentic the Stones were compared to recent Super Bowl performers.

Obviously the Stones are much cooler and more authentic than Garfield gives them credit for, and I'm sure it will be a great, big, vulgar, rockin' show. In other words, perfect for the Super Bowl.

(Of course I guarantee they won't play my favorite Stones song -- and here's where Stones purists will throw up their hands in dismay: "Dance, Part 1"... If anyone ever remixes that song to be, like, twenty minutes long, please let me know.)

But what Adrants doesn't slam Garfield for, I will:

The relentless, wearying Rolling-Stones-are-dinosaurs jokes.

Yes. They're old men. We get it.

Ha ha. Come up with a new bit.

There's a comedy writer's term called a "clam." It means "a really tired joke." I think the word "clam" itself is a clam -- plus I don't have very fond memories of some of the people who use the word -- so I prefer to call them "really tired jokes."

Jeez, I was talking more about a subtle, pervasive racism that's expressed itself through the constant retelling of that joke. I certainly didn't mean to suggest that you were a racist. Or that I was an asshole. I apologize if I left either impression.