09 July 2007

Did you know the band Three Dog Night took its name from the supposed Aboriginal practice of judging the coldness of an evening by the number of dogs required to keep warm? Seems people have been sleeping with their pets in bed for a million years.

I always wonder what my dog does when she's home alone. I assume, and I'm pretty certain, she just sleeps the day away; but still I wonder. I wonder if she wonders what I do, too.

It's like when you were a kid and you closed the door of the fridge; you always wondered if that light went out. What happened when that door closed? You really had no idea. And then all the cartoons put it into your head that when you closed the door your ketchup had a party with the pickles and the mustard hung out with the soda and the waffles. My favourite Tom & Jerry episode is when the floor is flooded and it freezes and their ice skating and playing with all the Thanksgiving trimmins.

So anyway, a recent Washington Post interview with a dog trainer stated that a dog in bed is "a sign the dog is completely in charge. Get the dog off your bed. It can make a bigger difference than anyone can imagine." Oh, baloney! Life is too short for that crap. I love my dog, so she sleeps in my bed. I'm not worried about my dog taking over my house and moving my paintings and furniture to her liking.

How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend, the dog obedience manual by the Monks of New Skete (Monks? with dogs? on a plane?!), advises letting your dog sleep on the floor in your bedroom, but never in your bed. A dog trying to get too intimate should receive "slapped paws and a shove off"—not wholly surprising advice from celibate trainers. I hope one of those dogs smacks a monk back one day.

Dr. Marsha Reich (now thats a hard name), who has a private animal-behaviour practice in Maryland (she must be rich), says she disagrees with the notion that your dog will try to dominate you if allowed in bed. "It is just fine to sleep with them. Pets are not going to get any uppity ideas just because you're all snoring together." HOLLA, MARSHA!

"Your dog will not try to dominate you if allowed in bed. It has nothing to do with social status," she says. "The dog, like the owner, just likes being cozy and having a soft place to sleep."

"Unless a dog growls when you roll over, I don't have a problem with a dog in the bed." Mine does this and I happen to think its adorable and one of the best parts of having a dog in my bed.

Dr. Nicholas Dodman, author of If Only They Could Speak (nawww) and director of the Animal Behavior Clinic at Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine, celebrates the "warm and fuzzy feeling" of all species curling up in bed together as well.

I didn't intend on this entry being about sleeping with dogs, it just sorta happened. I wanted to warmly identify with the reader and talk about how tired I was and how I'm on my 700th cup of Flavia Italian Roast Strength #5 labouring my way through this Monday.