The teaser trailer for JJ Abram’s new Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be “dropping” in select theatres this Friday. This means that it will be available EVERYWHERE ON THE INTERNET by the time the actual movie starts. Before it is available for viewing, I wanted to get my predictions on what we will see.

I have not watched much of the teaser footage that JJ Abrams has put out there when hyping the movie, but I have seen a lot of Star Wars stuff and a lot of trailers for movies. So I think I can predict with about 95% accuracy what we will see.

Twin suns setting on Tatooine. There may or may not be a pensive looking figure in the shot, staring off into the distance.

At least one space scene. Probably with the Falcon. Also expecting some lens flare here, either a bunch with every laser shot, or they just go the whole 9 yards and completely replace the lasers with lens flares that are shot.

At least one “classic” ship outside of the Falcon. Probably either an X-Wing (if the trailer focuses on the “good” guys) or a Tie Fighter (if it focuses on the “evil” people).

Something Stompy. Either some sort of troop transport or giant walker, like an AT-AT.

Droids. Specifically R2D2 and C3P0.

“Classic” characters return. Luke, Han, and Leia will all be in the trailer, in one way or another. Likely old, likely giving significant glances…and that’s probably about it.

A hooded villain. He (or she!) will appear for a moment, with 50-100% of the face concealed in shadow.

At least one call back to the previous films. Something along the lines of “I know,” “Stay On Target,” or “Its a trap!”

One (AND ONLY ONE) lightsaber. Probably blue, but could be green.

Come back on Friday and tell me what I got right, what I got wrong, and what you thought. For extra fun, do a shot* for every one I get right and let your sobriety be the judge of my accuracy.

I’ll be sure to post a link to the trailer as soon as I see it somewhere.