Dogs of Millennials Can’t Afford Gifts This Season

Crushing student debt, low salaries, poor benefits, and high taxes are major reasons behind Millennials being unable to spend significant amounts of money on gifts this holiday season. But they aren’t alone. Their dogs are also flat broke.

“I had to re-gift a book I have no intention of reading to my brother because I didn’t get a holiday bonus at work. But my dog, Bruno? He is so broke, he isn’t getting me anything.” Mariah Sive (24).

Canines everywhere are reportedly feeling the pressure surrounding this seasonal shopping time. As their owners work two or three jobs to bring home the bacon, the dogs are just sitting at home thinking about eating some.

Bruno (6), an American Bulldog, says he would love to get a job to buy Mariah a present, but he is just too busy sniffing butts and barking at nothing for no reason. His alternative? A homemade gift. He plans to leave it in his owner’s shoe.