About Me

June 20, 2013

An Unstoppable Record That Keep On Playing Reminding That The Darkness Is For Eternity. There's No Escaping It, As It Is A Prison Itself, Without Any Glimpse Of Hopes Dare To Enter. You Can Try, But No Light Ever Come Down To The Deep End As This Is The Last Pit Stop Of The Journey For Any Trusting Man. This Is A No Man Island, The Lost Cause's Paradise Where People Gather And Walk Through With Their Happy Life, Yet I Am Still Stuck Between Staying Down A Loser, Or Picking Myself Up As A Broken Man. Tried And Still Trying To Leave. Successful Broke My Way Out Yet There's Still Some Missing Pieces. Maybe I Left It In The Darkness, Or Maybe Just Too Damn Scare To Open The Locked Door To Find It.The Key Is In My Hand, But This Cowardice Hand Is Still Shaking From The First Knocked Out Blow, It Left Me Pissing My Pant To Even Open The Door, Let Alone Going Inside To Pick Up The Missing Pieces. What A Coward, What A Loser.

The Present

Glancing At All The Changes That Past By As I Am A Rusty Blade Trying To Sharpen My Tool. Still Trying To Keep Up With The Pace, Yet Still The Last One To The Finish Line. Never Give Up, Never Surrender. Yeah Right, That's The Spirit Boy! Keep Telling Yourself That, Maybe Someday You'll Believe It, As Everyone Else Fool Enough To Eat Your Word. Maybe Its Never Been About Not Giving Up, Maybe All That Matters Is You Trying Your Damnest To Even Take Part. Yet Some Say Participation Trophy Suck Ass. Whatcha Aiming For? A Beautiful Swansong That You Might Tell Your Children About? The Conquest Of Love That Once Kick Your Loin And Hurt You So Effing Bad, You Became A Sore Coward? And Now You Willing To Give It Another Go? Is That What This All About? This Is The "Now" Time, Yet Here You Are Asking All This "What If" Questions. Questions That You Yourself Too Freaking Afraid To Know The Answers. Is This About Retribution And Redemption? No. This Is About Participating. Be A Good Sport And Support The Game Of Life That So Popular Everyone Have A Chance To Win It. But You Are Rusty, You Said So Yourself, So Why Bother? Is It A Practice Run? Yes, Maybe It Is. A Beta Trial Before You Unleash Your True Power, Your Full Capabilities On Conquering And Owning The Game. But, Why This Feel The Same Like Before? Why All The Flashback Keep On Rolling Before Me Eyes? Is This An Indication Of What They Say, "History Might Repeat Itself". If So, Why Are You Still Here? Run Bitch Run. Don't Stay, Why Hurt Yourself Even More? Remember, You Ain't Perfect, You Ain't Fully Recover. You Are Still, And Maybe Forever Will Be, A Broken Man.

The Future

Never Been The Guy With A Plan Yet The Hope For An Happy Ending Is Still Burning. "Live For The Moment" But The Present Itself Full Of Uncertainty And The Past Is Too Damn Scary. So How Come You Still Holding On To The Dream Of Happiness? Does It Really Exist Or Is Just Another "White Lies" Everybody Keep On Saying To Keep People At Bay Of Calmness Since Nobody Want Chaos To Run Its Money. But I See Through The Lies. I Know The Real Deal. Happiness Is A Myth, No Matter What Everyone Say. So Why Take The Step Into This So Called Fantasy Zone? is This The Place Where People Find Their Charm Of "Pick Me Up" Bracelets? So The Future Itself A Zone Of Uncertainty. So Where Is The Save Haven? The Place Of Paradise Where People Are Genuinely Happy? So? If My Thought Ever Reach This Place, What Should I Do? This Is The Place With Full Of Unanswered Question , So Why Do I Wanna Stay Here? Maybe I Can Take A Step Back, Snap Back Into Reality And Warp Myself Back To The Present. But I Don't Belong In The Present. Its A Fancy New Place, With People Learning New Tricks? How Can I, An Old Dog, Survive? Yeah Yeah, They Say Old Dog Can Learn A New Trick, But Does It Really That Easy? So What Now? Go All The Way Back To The Past? No No No. I'm Still Having Nightmares About That Place, Don't Ever Make Me Go Back There. I Was A Survivalist, Trying To Stay Alive, Never Really Living. But I Don't Belong In The Present, Its Too Confusing, And I Don't Wanna Be Here In The Future, Its Scarier. So Where Do I Belong? Please, Somebody Please Help Me Out!