1.19.2006

In A Fever Dream

Tuesday evening I began to feel ill. "Here it comes," I thought, "I just hope it doesn't last more than a few days." For some reason, I'd been expecting to get sick for a month now. I tend to have a brief cold at some point each winter. But I've been taking my vitamins, so I almost supposed that I might escape it. But no. Last night it laid me out.

I was in bed for a long time. Half asleep in a sort of stuffy-headed delirium, I had an inexplicable feeling of light-heartedness and simultaneous profundity. I can't quite explain (it wasn't the same as the flashes of euphoria one gets with certain sicknesses). But it came to me as a realization that I've been taking some things too seriously, and other things not seriously enough. For instance, I might be undone by someone's unfriendliness; or I might lose sight of the bigger picture concerning my work here. The first, I should take less seriously; the second more seriously. It was a moment of insight and re-prioritizing, and I'm thankful for it. Having taken it to heart, I will, in the Lord's mercy, bear up under this minor affliction.