The adventures of a chastised husband who loves cycling.

Roller Coaster

It has been awhile since I sat down and penned a post to my blog. I haven’t had the energy or desire to write for some time due to some relationship “bumps in the road.” Take a deep breath….MrsL and I are doing fine….but it has been a bumpy road the past couple of weeks. With the exception of the Bruno Mars concert for her birthday, which she truly surprised me with the blouse she bought to wear, the past few weeks have been a real struggle. But first the blouse…I mean when she came out of the bathroom wearing this top I instantly got an erection…that she noticed through my slacks. It was a hot few minutes that almost made us late!!!

So, what has been going on? A shit ton of miscommunication or just outright silence.

In my last post I posited MrsL and I were doing fine with just a “lull” in our kinky adventures. Well, that was not true. With the exception of the playful spanking the morning of September 2nd it just seemed like the “kinky” had completely evaporated for both of us this month. It had been slowly dissipating since April or May. There were flashes of kink that would last 5-10 minutes then POOF gone again. She was busy with a new sales tool…and she hates change…and I was reverting (mentally) back to 3 years ago where I was resentful and feeling like I was being ignored. The slightest little thing would set both of off ending in her not talking and me storming off upstairs to my office to play Xbox. Not good.

Her birthday last week was truly magical. We seem to set everything aside and I poured my energy in to her all day Thursday and Friday morning. I mean we made mad passionate love Thursday night after the concert culminating in two orgasms for me (which I gladly cleaned up without being told) and multiple orgasms for her….two with her new toy (an EVOLved Raging Rabbit vibrator…a first for her). We picked up where we left off Friday morning with several orgasms for her after a little of her domme showed up while I was inside her. As I was thrusting like a madman MrsL simply said “enjoy” which in the past has meant YES. After I erupted inside her wonderful pussy she gave me that look….”I didn’t say yes…now clean me up!”

After getting cleaned up and dressed…POOF…the kink and D/s feeling was gone. She wasn’t waiting for me to open doors, she wouldn’t let me carry her bags, and she didn’t want to talk about chastity. I’ve been unlocked now for 60 days, with the exception of the weekend when she was out of town, and any suggestion of buying a HT2 or going ahead and ordering a Steelwerks Extreme titanium device unanswered.

Then….it all blew up around 10 p.m. last night.

Yesterday was really stressful for both us. She had an appointment with her psychologist for her ADHD medicine and I asked her if she thought it was working….not good. I mean her OCD has amplified recently. I have found her downstairs at 3 a.m. still obsessing over the new sales tool. Needless to say, she stormed out without letting me apologize. When she got home, I tried to apologize and asked for a “time out” to clear my head. She actually said no…I don’t want to do that anymore which I’m sure was her way of getting back for me asking about her medicine.

I took off at 3 p.m. because I needed to run some errands to get ready to be out of town and asked her to ride with me. She said: “I can stay here and finish what I’m doing so we can spend some time together tonight or I can go with you and be busy all night.” I accepted that and happily ran my errands. I packed while she made dinner, at her request, and after dinner she went in to her office and turned on Hulu on our desktop while she worked on everything but her new sales tool stuff for nearly 3 hours. The longer I sat in our family room seeing her on Facebook, playing games on her phone, continuing her binge watching of Bones, the angrier I got. At 10, I walked in the office and said good night and stormed off upstairs. I didn’t even get a response. Moments later I was back in her office asking what I had done to make her mad. It was ugly.

The GREAT news; it prompted us to stop, take a deep breath, and actually COMMUNICATE! I won’t go into the details…needless to say…we have it figured out. At one point, she made the comment that in 60 days I was going to be at her mercy (my shoulder surgery is November 20th) and I looked at her and told her I wanted to be at her mercy all of the time. This led us down the path to talk about our kinky lifestyle. It was awesome…even culminated in me broaching two subjects with her I was afraid to broach: being cuckolded by her and my crazy desire to explore my bisexual urges. The funny thing is she all but admitted she has thought about sex with another guy.

“I don’t think you would be able to handle seeing me with another man…would you? I know I could never handle seeing you with another woman!”

I interview people for a living and am pretty good at reading body language. Her body language when she asked that question…and when I lit up like the sky on July 4th…told me a lot. She quickly back peddled when I said…”You have thought about having sex with another man…and I don’t know how I would handle it…or if I could handle it…but if it gives you that experience of a vaginal orgasm from penetration….I would be willing to let you be happy. I mean you are not cheating on me if I know about it and approve it!” That was such a relief to have that out in the open. When she coyly asked what I would be doing when/if this ever happened…the smile on my face must have spoke volumes.

“I would want to help BOTH of you get ready…”

That didn’t get a reply so I went a bit further.

“You have to have figured out by now I am physically attracted to guys. I mean I pointed out a guys ass to you when we were having drinks after the concert last week. I know I could never be emotionally involved with a guy…but do you think you could handle me sucking a guys cock to get him ready for you or letting a guy fuck me while I licked you to an orgasm after he fucked you?”

Yes, I went there!

She didn’t say no but she didn’t say yes. She pulled me into her and held me for a few minutes. When she finally pulled my eyes up to hers they were happy eyes. We left that conversation where it ended and went to bed. It was 1 a.m. and we had been talking for nearly three hours. There was no make up sex…we both just wanted to hold the other and we fell asleep arms and legs intertwined.

This morning, she kissed me like never before when she got up. Oh, I kissed her back just as passionately. Just before I left she stopped me in my tracks and worked me into an erection. She pulled the head of the engorged penis above the waistline and worked on it for a few minutes then pushed it back in my pants. “See you next Thursday…with a little piece of steel in my hands…now go.”

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12 thoughts on “Roller Coaster”

Good to hear from you! Sorry it’s been a stressful time, but life does seem to ebb and flow like that even with the best of people! It’s wonderful to hear of new heights in understanding being reached.

Sad to hear your heading into cuckolding, sucking cock, and getting fucked by the man who’s fucking your wife. Your blog was one of the few that was sane and sensible. You both seemed “typical”, average which was nice in a world too often occupied by people whose goals are only to be more outrageous than the next couple. While wanting some other man to fuck your wife is odd to me, I truly do not understand how any wife could accept her husband sucking cock or getting fucked by another man. There can never be sex without some emotional connection. Next you will be wanting a boyfriend on the side.

I guess first I have to refute your reference to “typical.” Why does anyone have to assign a name to something? Who defines typical? I get it, we live in a society that has long since put definitions on “normal” and “typical.” I choose not to judge someone based on what they do or how they live their life. Maybe for you there can not be sex without a emotion…for others there can be. We don’t know if we can do that but I would rather be honest, like I was about my chronic jerking off, than not.

Now to clarify a few things.

While we talked about cuckolding openly, I truly believe it will never happen. MrsL, and me for that matter, is so entrenched in the sanctity of marriage and I truly don’t know how I would respond or react. Not to mention…there are some things that are better in the realm of fantasy!

We are very typical and again it is now only a spoken fantasy and a written story I’ve never shared with her.

In this instance, I’m guilty of creatively leaving out some of her responses; like, a married woman is not supposed to flirt or have sex other than with her husband. This was said a couple of times. But let’s face it, married or not everyone looks at someone and if they are attracted to that person thinks about what sex would be like.

As for wanting a boyfriend, I know that will never happen because I am not emotionally attracted to men. I love looking at them and am curious. That’s it! We wouldn’t have been married all this time if there was any hint of an emotional desire.

At the beginning of your response you wish to refute my use of the word “typical” “Why does anyone have to assign a name to something? Who defines typical?” Midway through your writing you state: “We are very typical”. Either “typical ” is a word to describe the relationship you have with Mrs L or it isn’t, but it can’t be both. By typical I mean you two could live on my block. I see you going to work every day, mowing your lawn, taking out the garbage, taking your boys to baseball practice. Typical

” I choose not to judge someone based on what they do or how they live their life.” If not by words of deeds by what then? Our actions and our words speak volumes about us. Your blog is prove of this.

Once again thank for your time and response. This is not meant to be sarcastic or a back hand compliment. This is genuine and sincere. I do enjoy your writing and discussing things with you.

Yeah, I inadvertently hit reply before I could change that reference midway through. As for living on your block, how do you know there aren’t couples on your block who are probably living a kinky lifestyle? I would surmise you don’t know? I’ve mowed my lawn in the Steelheart and wearing a butt plug. Would you have known had you seen me?

I don’t judge people based on society’s definition of who or how to love. Believe it or not, there are people who can and do enjoy sex for sex sakes. Let’s face it…most of us have had sex with someone we didn’t have an emotional connection to at some point in our life’s: those formative teenage years, the college years, or having a “friend with benefits.” I know I did!

I’m now curious. Why do you enjoy my writing? You follow my blog for some reason. What part of my writing brings you back: the chastity, the Wive Led Marriage aspects, the bondage, the nipple play, the discipline, or maybe the occasional erotic story? What brings you back?

Listen, I have a thick skin and realize I’m putting this out there and expect some comments like yours. Does it bother me? A little; but, I don’t let it bother me. I’m comfortable in my own skin. Thanks.

Why do I like your writing? There is an honesty and sincerity in it. Why do I keep reading it. There was a time when I thought FLR would save my marriage. It was during that time I found your blog and starting reading. I soon realized that there was nothing that was going to save my marriage and that FLR was not my thing, However, your story of your son’s addiction and recovery struck a note with me. I am a recovering alcoholic with 31 yrs of sobriety. I am also the father of a child your son’s age that struggles with both alcohol and drugs. While the kink and sex can be interesting and erotic at times, it is not the reason I come back. Those things I can find anywhere on the internet. It is your family’s story of addiction and recovery that does. I stop in every once in a while in the hopes of hearing more good news about your family’s and your son’s recovery because it gives me hope for mine.

Thank you answering. I find solace in writing and sharing my journey through life. The struggles are what make life so precious. Because of the struggles, I am going to have a very long conversation with my surgeon before my rotator cuff surgery next month. I know addiction runs in my family and don’t want to get too far down the pain pill path.

I am sorry to read you couldn’t save your marriage. I can’t even begin to fathom how painful and challenging that is/was. However, I can tell you that MrsL and I have had a long conversation about ours and cuckolding will forever remain fantasy.