Saturday, March 14, 2009

Cafe Chat - Insecurity

"This week’s question deals with a subject that many of us, especially women seem to struggle with at times in our lives. Insecurity.First of all, do you struggle with “Insecurity” issues?If no, why not? If yes, can you tell of a specific situation that happened to you that brought out your insecurities (the more details, the better). Feel free to post anonymously . . . Again, if you do struggle with insecurity, what do you believe is the root cause of your insecurity?"

Oh, boy, this is a biggie for me. If you are a regular reader, this comes as no surprise. I am sure that you've been able to read between the lines and figure that out. And if you know me IRL (In Real Life) then you know I am about as transparent as a person can be. Not because I mean to be, but because I can't seem to hide my feelings very well. This has it's upside (my husband has had an easier time reading my emotions even if he's confused by them) and a downside.

At any rate, to answer the question of the week from Cafe Chat. I do struggle with insecurities. And I believe my insecurities stem from fear. A fear of looking foolish mostly. I am an oldest child. I was quite reserved as a child and still am when I encounter new situations. Motherhood has helped me speak my mind a little more.

Something about being a mama bear comes to mind . . .

But as a child I felt that the best way to be able to be with the adults was to be seen and not heard. I have no idea where I got this idea. I don't ever remember my parents conveying this in any way. But it is true that parents tend to forget you are there if you are quiet, and a kid can learn a whole lot by listening to grown up conversations.

So, in my mind, I had to be a grown up and that included not looking foolish. Or doing something foolish. For me that translated to being a wallflower. My introverted personality helped too.

The only way I know to get around my insecurity, is to be more trusting of my Creator. I am who I am because He created me this way. And while He expects me to work on my flaws by drawing closer to Him, He loves me exactly the way I am.

No strings attached. Unconditionally.

What a great feeling that is. The only foolish thing about that is not accepting the gift of His unconditional love.

Have something to add? Feel free to leave a comment and visit Cafe Chat.

Oh, yes, insecurity and I are good friends. We've known each other since childhood. I keep thinking, "One day we'll outgrow each other." But I think we're together for life. (: I actually just blogged about how a book signing caused my insecurity to show up in full force!This is my first visit to your site and I love it! I appreciate your authenticity and wit. I'm looking forward to visiting again.

Verse of the Day

Hey there!

I recognize that all my blessings come from my Heavenly Father. I want to be sure to give Him joyful praise for who He is.
On this journey with me:
The Cruise Director (16),
The Affectionate One (14) and Whirling Dervish (13). That's right, all teenagers. Chocolate, prayers and lots of cherry coke appreciated.

Remember:

Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them, and these will continue till they have been resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they suppress. --Frederick Douglass

Men, whether great or small, are still but men, and men are dust. To trust in the many is folly, to rely upon the eminent few is madness; to depend upon the Lord alone is the only sanity.