The Phene

What: Every Sloane worth their gilet knows the importance of pre-lash to the success of a night, which is why they start each evening in one of Chelsea’s premier drinking establishments (the closer to a sticky dancefloor, the better) for drinking games and banter.

Tonteria

What: No sooner had the doors to Public been slammed shut (after complaints from locals about post-clubbers singing and urinating on their doorsteps) than owner Guy Pelly opened ‘Tonters’, a Mexican-themed joint right on Sloane Square. Think Tequila delivered to your table by a miniature train, cocktails served in Day of the Dead skulls and sombreros galore.

Do say: ‘This reminds me of a little fiesta Charlie and I went to on our gap year.’

Barts

What: How do you make a bar on Sloane Avenue cool? Turn it into a Prohibition-style speakeasy by putting it behind an unmarked door and covering the entrance hall with Mickey Mouse wallpaper (totes ironic, yeah?). Outside the teensy bar is an inexplicably Cuban-themed smoking area, which is probably the best place in London to pull a man in red chinos. You’re welcome.

Maggie’s

What: Just when you thought every possible nightclub theme had been exhausted (tiki? Mahiki; ski chalet? Bodo’s Schloss; Berlusconi? Bunga Bunga), along comes Maggie’s, inspired by Margaret Thatcher —yep, seriously. The former PM’s speeches are played on repeat in the loo and drinks are served out of mugs emblazoned with her face.

Boujis

What: The original, and still the best, place to track down your very own Price Charming. Even the normally poised Kate Middleton was snapped falling out of the club’s hallowed doors after one too many Crack Babies (the passion fruit-vodka-champagne cocktail is such a favourite of hers and Wills’ that they even served it at their wedding).