In this photo provided by Walt Disney Pictures, Justin Long (left), Lindsay Lohan (right) takes a ride in Herbie, a Volkswagen Bug that can drive itself, in 'Herbie Fully Loaded' (AP Photo/Walt Disney Pictures/ ... more

Photo: RICHARD CARTWRIGHT

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Actress Lindsay Lohan is shown in a scene from the new family film "Herbie Fully Loaded" in this undated publicity photograph. The movie portrays Lohan as Maggie Peyton, the new owner of number 53, a freewheeling Volkswagen Bug with a mind of its own, who becomes a NASCAR competitor. The film opens in the United States on June 22, 2005. REUTERS/Richard Cartwright/� 2005 Disney Enterprises, Inc/Handout 0 less

Actress Lindsay Lohan is shown in a scene from the new family film "Herbie Fully Loaded" in this undated publicity photograph. The movie portrays Lohan as Maggie Peyton, the new owner of number 53, a ... more

Photo: HO

Image 3 of 3

Actor Justin Long (L) and actress Lindsay Lohan are shown in a scene from the new family film "Herbie Fully Loaded" in this undated publicity photograph. The movie portrays Lohan as Maggie Peyton, the new owner of number 53, a freewheeling Volkswagen Bug with a mind of its own, who becomes a NASCAR competitor. The film opens in the United States on June 22, 2005. EDITORIAL USE ONLY REUTERS/Richard Cartwright/� 2005 Disney Enterprises, Inc/Handout 0 less

Actor Justin Long (L) and actress Lindsay Lohan are shown in a scene from the new family film "Herbie Fully Loaded" in this undated publicity photograph. The movie portrays Lohan as Maggie Peyton, the new owner ... more

With "Mean Girls" sex kitten Lindsay Lohan in the starring role, and a title that's one action verb away from a porn movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded" is a Disney film in disguise.

But the first few minutes -- with a clever flashback credit sequence and not-so-clever scenes of the Volkswagen Bug squirting oil on the owner of a wrecking yard -- quickly set the tone: This movie is old-school Disney from the Fred MacMurray years, with upstanding moral young people, villains who are more bumbling than scary and the only sexual innuendos coming between two automobiles.

"Herbie: Fully Loaded" would be a modern-day "Gus," if it only had a field goal-kicking mule and a little more heart. Instead, the comedy is pleasant for a while, and it's a totally harmless movie for kids, but it runs mostly on a high-octane mix of slapstick comedy and special effects -- with little for discriminating moviegoers to enjoy.

Lohan is Maggie Peyton, the daughter in a stock car racing family that has no problem with her choice of midriff-revealing attire but doesn't want her anywhere near the world of competitive racing. Down-on-his-luck parent Ray Peyton Sr. (Michael Keaton, who may have a future in these Paul Dooley/"Sixteen Candles" father figure roles) lets his college graduate daughter pick any car out of a junkyard, and in a marginally amusing scene, Herbie basically picks her.

The movie is a sequel of sorts, although it's hard to remember so much product placement in the original 1968 Herbie movie, "The Love Bug." The new Herbie also seems a bit more like Stephen King's "Christine" than the original -- with a mean streak that isn't always forgiven when he flutters his headlights and his front bumper turns into a grin.

Disney does provide some decent set pieces, unleashing Herbie in a drag race for "pinks," a demolition derby and a rousing but too-short NASCAR race. But the filmmaking is clumsy at times, with awkward shifts in tone and supporting characters that are either completely undeveloped or irrationally evil. And the final scene steals so much from "Breaking Away," you'll expect Dennis Quaid and Jackie Earle Haley to take turns behind the wheel.

Matt Dillon as bad guy NASCAR driver Trip Murphy (the worst NASCAR movie driver name since Tom Cruise played "Cole Trickle" in "Days of Thunder") has been reduced to a Scooby-Doo villain. There are five writers attached to the credits, and they still force the "Crash" star to recite such lines as "You better get this car back to the circus before Bozo puts out an APB."

The plot also includes two montages where Herbie is fixed up and multiple commercialized scenes that revolve around new Volkswagen vehicles -- including a shot where Herbie's antenna appears to be used to display his sexual arousal.

Thankfully for parents who plan to shepherd their kids to this film, Herbie's the only one getting any. Lohan doesn't show much more than that midriff, and her romance with nice guy Kevin (Justin Long) doesn't go any further than first base.

It's a kids' movie from a better time, with a few small concessions to modern audiences. And with a winning formula like that, can "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: Fully Loaded" and "The Apple Dumpling Gang: Fully Loaded" be far behind?

-- Advisory: This film contains car-on-car violence and sexual innuendos involving automobiles. Lindsay Lohan's bare midriff is on display for about 56 percent of the movie.

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