Dancing With the Stars: The Winner – Nicole, of course

Of course Nicole Scherzinger was going to win this 10th titanic season of “Dancing With the Stars.” I mean, COME ON. Week after week, The Scherzy has attacked the cheesy ballroom of celebrity redemption with a mighty hard-body/hard-work ethic that’s paid off in large part to her Pussycat Dolls background and in no small part to her dynamic dance partner Derek Hough.

All the remaining DWTS pieces fell into place accordingly. ESPN leggy sweetheart Erin Andrews stiff-legged her way to third place, while lanky laid-back figure skater Evan Lysacek stylishly lallygagged his way to the second spot.

We’ll just bypass the creamy filling of this finale, other than to quickly mention that Buzz Aldrin better return MTV’s moonman trophy costume before he goes home for sleepy times from watching Kate Gosselin stump through the strangest dance-to-float-away in modern times.

Right. Moving on.

The first of the night’s big two dances — the judges’ ranking dance — cracked out like a whip with all three couples whipping out a fierce Argentine tango. Nicole’s was the usual razor sharp umph and awesome, while Evan’s was rather incredible and certainly commanding. Erin likewise delivered the best she could with a fun but fiery finish.

But again, foregone conclusion, folks. The judges gave Nicole tops, Evan second and Erin third, eliminating the humble amazon from championship contention.

Which brought us to the final dance for the mirror ball trophy. Evan v. Nicole, the great v. the greater.

Yep, Evan hammered out a quickstep that was semi-formal and, well, semi-fabulous for a 28 out of 30. But Nicole unleashed a hot-damn-ka-blam! jive that positively exploded for a perfect 30. So total points added up thusly: Nicole 115, Evan 108.

Add the viewers’ votes and it’s game: Nicole.

Now, you gotta wonder if it was pretty much Nicole’s to lose even before the first dance given her strong performance background. But on a show that’s also had NFL stars and calendar girls win it all as well as Olympians, well, what are you going to do?

Hey, how about giving DWTS another whirl in September? You know, if you’d like.