Innocent, Cynical HeartI want to vomitDisgusted with myselfThe jealousy eating me upI hate itI hate himI hate myself for letting youDamn meI knew beforeWhen I was going into thisWhat it was going to beAnd I went inMy heart on a platterReady for the cookingAnd burningThe flaming of my emotionsI hate myselfStupid, innocent and so blindThe cynic and the innocentBlended to make one miserable childI knew,He told meBut it wasn't until I saw that I really understoodAnd that my heart was ripped from it resting place in my breastStill beatingPumping blood to my lifeless bodyThe memory of his burning touchNow torches my emotionsDamn you, stupid, loving, gullible whoreWretched whoreThat you would give this much to himTo him that cares not but for the pleasure of the momentAnd I am grateful I did not give it allGrateful I was too afraid to give him all that I wasI see the picturesHis face smiling next to hersTo theirsAll of them...just women to himAnd I was just anotherHe smiled in that picture the way he smiled with meHow many have you broken without meaning to?You gave me warningYou hid nothing from meAnd yet I chose to ignore itChose to believe you caredChose to give you my heartAnd thank God I was too afraid to give you moreTo give you my body and soulAnd mind and spiritYou have my heartShredded as it isBut I still have my mindAnd I can choose to walk away from youAnd choose I willThis time I will choose wiselyTo trade my heart for a lifeAnd life that will rock this world,Leave its impressionAnd change it for the betterTime to store away my heartMy hormonesMy memories of white hot nightsAnd silent moments of blissOf burning fingertipsAnd rough lipsAnd strong handsAnd bursting heartsBecause these things are fleetingAnd I must focusWorkFor what will give me a futureAnd to do thisI must bury my heartBurry it with the pictures of your smiling faceSmiling like it was in those pictures with themThe othersTo you, I was just one moreTo the worldI will be the one that changes it all

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