... I have hit a wall. 41 weeks I guess is my point when I cry, get a little scared and start to wonder if all of this prep was for nothing. Right now I am feeling a little bit down in the dumps ...

I am just going to tell you about how this week has been going because the surges come and go and I want to remember the days before my labor.

Sunday was awesome, my sister Stephanie arrived! The 5 of us headed to Roscoe's and I pretty much drank the hot sauce haha spicy food has done nothing induction wise but I still think it is the tastiest way to eat so I am keep it up. Having my parents staying at the RV park has been really nice, my mom made us a gigantic batch of my favorite spaghetti I was able to freeze some sauce and we also all had a bowl. I think that might be one of my favorite dishes but my mom has a ton that I love and cannot seem to replicate. Ryan had been home since mid day Thursday and that was wonderful, I love having him here more often and I am looking forward to his time off work when Claire joins us.

Monday also was really nice, my dad and Ryan went off to work for the day and that left my mom, sister, Claire and me to our own devices. We had boba, relaxed in the sun at the RV park, napped, had more spaghetti and just enjoyed having a whole day together with nothing to do. This is also the day I finally decided to give castor oil a shot, everything I read online said to drink two tablespoons with oj and I was nervous so in the morning I gave 1 teaspoon a shot. Nothing happened. That evening I decided to give 1 tablespoon a shot and a few hours passed and still nothing really. Once I climbed into bed at midnight I woke up every hour as usual to use the restroom but I also was having some surges, they felt stronger and more consistent than usual so once 4am hit I knew I was not going back to sleep and decided to start trying to track these just to see what was happening. They lasted about a minute each time and from 4am to 8am they came every 4 - 8mins.

Tuesday morning I was up at 4am and these surges did not feel strong enough and/or consistent enough to reach out to the midwife, plus I had my appt for my 41 week check up at 9am. But, I got a call at 7am letting me know that a woman was in labor and they would need to postpone my appointment until 3pm. I hung up in tears and this was really one of the first times that I felt letdown. Instead of moping all day my mom took my sister and me out for manis/pedis and a pho lunch date. It is really nice having them here especially since Ryan is still at work and we haven't had this much time together in a long time - missing Melissa though but she will be home in a few weeks. My midwife appt was a much longer one than I had expected, they did a stress test to make sure that Claire is doing well which they strap me in and watch her heartbeat and my uterine movements for 20 minutes, Claire was sleeping so I ate a banana and drank ice water and that got her going. She looked great and was responding well. I also had my amniotic fluid monitored and all is good there. Now the fun stuff: dilation check and a membrane sweep. I am 1 cm dilated and still 70% effaced, because of this she was able to do a membrane sweep, what that is: during an internal examination, she will sweep a finger around your cervix (neck of your womb). This action should separate the membranes of the amniotic sac surrounding your baby from your cervix. This separation releases hormones (prostaglandins) which may kick-start your labor within 48 hours. This is not the most comfortable thing I have ever been through but whatever I am ready to get this going and there are not many natural induction techniques left for me to try. They say that if labor is on the horizon that the sweep can get it going within 48 hours. Fingers crossed. I guess Tuesday was a big day - I also tried the castor oil. My midwife laughed at me about the teaspoon and tablespoon I tried. She suggested I shoot 4 tablespoons and chase it with a little bit of root beer, I went home a little bit nervous but at 7pm I chugged it all. Nothing occurred until midnight.

Wednesday, everyone else was asleep and I made a little bed in the hallway next to the bathroom so I wouldn't have to either get off the couch or struggle to get off my high bed. I was able to handle the waves for awhile - they were a totally new sensation though, nothing like the prelabor surges so I knew that they were the real thing. I know that they could be mostly from the oil but I started timing them anyway and waited about an hour to wake up Ryan. From 1am - 8am Ryan sat with me, walked with me, made me a chicken sandwich and even my sister happened to wake up and help me out. They were steady, lasting about 45 seconds to 1 minute and they were about 3 to 6 mins apart. We ended up talking to my midwife at 3am and she said to give her a call back once I could not walk through them or talk at all. That didn't happen so here we are. I have had surges all day, I've gone on a few walks and I am wishing for active labor to start. This post was very long winded but thought I would get it all out while I remember. Hoping to meet Claire soon :)

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Hi sweetie, how are you? 41 weeks huh? You must be feeling really comfortable and calm. I have always promised I would never 'evict you' haha or get angry with you for taking your time and I am keeping my promise but I do want to meet you. I really would like you and me to do this together instead of having any sort of medical induction. I believe in you and us, we all cannot wait to meet you. My body is gearing up to bring you into this world and as uncomfortable as it can be sometimes I know it will all be worth it. Right now we are surrounded by family and I know that they are hoping you arrive tonight or tomorrow since my sister is heading out of town on Friday. I think I need to go get some rest to be ready for you, love you get some rest so that we can get this going. Love you babyMommy

Good luck Nikol & Claire, I know you two will start working together soon!

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David

8/7/2013 03:43:27 pm

You are almost there sweetie! Hang in there. It won't be long now. I remember Dana hitting a wall too! It's natural! Love, Grampa Dave

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Tina

8/7/2013 03:43:48 pm

Awe, any time now honey! Hang in there <3

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Heather

8/7/2013 03:44:02 pm

The point of "just wanting it out already!" is totally normal....you are doing great and try not to stress. Much love for what I KNOW is a challenging time.

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Becky

8/7/2013 03:44:21 pm

You're doing great! Sounds like your body is doing its thing.

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Stephanie

8/7/2013 03:44:37 pm

Aw, so glad I could be here!! You are doing amazing! So proud of you, Claire, and Ryan! :)

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M. Pilar

8/7/2013 03:44:51 pm

Your time is coming soon, & then it's Claire time! Glad you have family around to help you when the time comes. It will be a great ride for all of you.

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Jaclyn R

8/7/2013 03:45:05 pm

I know it doesn't seem like it but she's coming! I mean sooner or later Ms. Clarie HAS to come! I remember the feeling of waiting though, then once I was in active labor I was like " ok never mind, I can wait another week or so." LOL Hugs to ya Momma. A chapter, more like, a book is about to be over and a whole new story to begin!

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Dana

8/7/2013 03:45:17 pm

There's nothing wrong with "hitting a wall"...doesn't feel so great while its happening but it releases a lot of energy that needs to come out. The real thing will start soon and you will be holding that tiny little girl in your arms and feeling a love like no other. Hang in there!...we will be seeing all three of you real soon! Love ya!

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Erica Hayes

8/7/2013 03:45:33 pm

Hang in there! Lots of hugs!

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LM ZumMallen

8/7/2013 09:50:07 pm

You're being so incredibly patient and relaxed through this whole thing, or at least only showing that side on the internet with us: either way, it's crazy admirable.

I hope Claire's ready to meet us before I get there!

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Eva

8/8/2013 01:28:33 am

You're doing a great job!! Sending lots of love and encouragement to you! Claire will be here before you know it :) :)

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James

8/8/2013 01:29:03 am

You're awesome, Nikol. Before you know it she'll be in your arms. Happens so fast. Focus on controlling your breathing, because not much else is in your realm of control. All will happen when it should. Trust in that. And know that Claire is super-comfy in the warm, nutrient-full five-star accommodation she's been living in for 10 months. I wouldn't want to leave either. She will, though. And soon.

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Jessie

8/8/2013 03:02:30 am

I remember Henry Mayo let me go to 41 weeks 1 day with Wesley. Although that "over due" time was HELLISH I remember spending that time with my mom & family so fondly and I know you will too. She will be here so so soon. Have you done a belly cast? You should!

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Meadow

8/8/2013 09:42:44 am

Still thinking of you all and wishing you the best in the next hours and days to come. It is wonderful that your family is there. Do you feel stalked? 'Cause I keep checking fb to see if you've posted in the last few hours...every time I'm like, "dang," but Claire will do her own thing. Again, all the best to you guys. You can do it!