Passing judgment on everything

Turning a corner.

I’m starting to get things right. Inevitably, there are still vast canyons filled with room for improvement, and I’m still not sure how Ofsted will feel about me when we finally meet, but I’m beginning to see the fruits of my labour come to fruition. (Oh come on, who doesn’t like a mixed metaphor?)

I drove home on Monday on the verge of tears. Tears of happiness, of joy and serenity. I finally felt like I had cracked it. My students were safe, happy, engaged and learning and I was energised and on form. I even had a colleague suggest that I had the makings of a good head teacher. I’ve never even considered it; when you work at the coal face it’s hard to imagine being the boss. Besides, I think I’d miss the kids too much. But it was my greatest compliment to date in my teaching career because she claimed I ‘got them’ and my way of thinking is ‘good for them’. I’ll never claim to have the best subject knowledge; I’ll never say my teaching is flawless and that I tow the line every minute of every day, but I can say I’m there for my students, and from what they tell me and other members of staff they know I am there for them.

Above all else that’s why I’ve ended up here. Sure, I care about the considerately placed comma and the poor abused apostrophe, these things are important and any day now I will stop comma splicing! But being a constant for a young person who faces difficulty is what gets my out of bed every day.

I am always amazed by the resilience and tenacity our young people show; the things they have to deal with on a daily basis are remarkable, I don’t know where they find the strength but they do, and they inspire me because of it. It’s so easy to holler at a student and challenge them “Why are you late?” and when they reply with alarm didn’t go off, mum didn’t get up, ran out of electric, I had to get my brother to school, etc etc, it’s easy to see how we should be patient with them. It’s plain to see that it’s a miracle they even get to school at all some days. It’s simple to understand that their lives are bigger than the school day and getting to registration is not always going to be their most pressing priority, and often for good reason.

Tuesday saw one of my more reluctant readers asking about ‘1984’ after I’d mentioned it in class. He wanted to know if it really was as good as I’d said. I told him I’d lend him my copy and he smiled. It was a simple yet brilliant moment in my career so far. He’s fired up about reading again and he enjoys coming to English.

My students think I’m fair and that is a good thing. They know I am investing in them. There was a moment when I was concerned they didn’t think I meant business, but they do. And I’m content with this balance. I’m proud that my natural strength is my relationships with my students and that they feel they can come to me and be honest. It’s a privilege to earn their trust and enjoy their company each day.