(also, i blame you for growing something that could pass as the beginning of a backbone to start to put my stupid words on here. is a work in progress, i'm still editing, but know that it is all. your. fault. thought you might like to know baha)

eesh the idea of showing you scares the living daylights out of me, so thats why i'm going to haha.. need to stop being so chicken.

if you got any ideas, please feel free to share :3 but you dont have to read them, if you dont have time or dont want to

asdfghjk ... ok. breathing is good haha. i'm very nervous about showing people my writing.

ok so this is what i wrote right after i broke up with my ex, who was a lovely kid until very recently: [link]

and this is what i wrote after said ex wasnt so nice, and i realised how lucky i was to have a brilliant friend who has been there for a long time, and helped me realise that its possible to let more than one person into your life at a time. among other things, blahblah.. anyway, had a bit of a lightbulb moment and wrote this: [link]

have lotsa other stuff around haha but not ready for it to see the light of day yet ..

(If you understand the last few parts about life just skip to the end I tend to write and ramble.)I just do things a little different. See I have a small tiny little crush on someone. But cause the time doesn't seem right yet I prefer to keep my feelings hidden seems strange to hide them even to me but it's just how I want to live my life. No one can control it, a life is something that the person controls not the parents, they can accept it but must step forward even if it important that it is to be hidden. Life is like a tree. The leaves fall of and its cold and bare but when another time comes it is full of colours. Life is like that there are ups and downs.

My way is simple, stay hidden until it is felt right, be ready when feelings between you and the one are true. If things don't work out remember, everyone deserves 2 things. A second chance, and an explanation. But when you just can't tell remember this. There is someone out there, for everyone. Sounds a bit cliché but it is what you want to feel with another but not see.

When you know the two people blush. When you assume you see hands holding. When you are confident you don't know what to say, but you know what to ask.What I think is this, if life is not all ups don't get all down because of 1 chance but just get something to cheer you up. Funny videos, nice songs, or just plain have a gentle talk with people.

For me I listen to music. The one that fits me are#1: Because,because,because by Gumi. She is a person from Vocaloid (Japanese electronic band) This song is about hiding feelings and being closer to what her crush likes. [link]#2: Snow Story by Len Kagamine. another Vocaloid person. Halfway in he says "I am the Cupid of Love" and then he is helping a boy with his crush. [link]

sometimes, you've got to get your hopes up in order to feel the way that you do. sometimes, you've got to love without holding back, because sometimes, you don't mean to fall that hard,but love's funny that way.let yourself be frightened, terrified,but not enough to run away.enough to let yourselffallin.