Coffee-Lovers So Far...!!

Saturday, 28 December 2013

A few days back, I went for a movie. As usual, I was 15
mins early than the show time because I hate missing the trailers of the movies
yet to release.

Just before the security person allowed us to enter the
movie hall, we all were standing in queue.. In front of me, in the queue, there
were 3 friends together, girls. 2 of them seem to be single and 1 of them
seemed to be married since she was carrying a cute small baby of may be 1 or
1.5 years old in her arms.

The baby was fair as cotton ball and was dressed in red
jumper suit as if he was Santa Claus. He was such a cute little angel. Soon the
queue started getting inside, people started squeezing each other to get in as
if the movie was on the basis of first comes first.

On seeing this congestion, the baby got uncomfortable and
cranky and began to cry. But mother kept shaking him in her arms and kept
talking to her friends… Thinking the baby would stop crying.. But it didn’t, it
kept crying more and more. Finally, the mother opened her purse, gave the baby
a chocolate. And the baby was at ease for a while. I thought – “Wow! The baby
got the candy and it stopped crying. Was it that it really wanted? How nice of
mother to recognize its needs!” I was amazed.

Later, the movie started and the theater went dark. And
again the kid started crying. And again fortunately or unfortunately it
happened to sit in the row exactly ahead of mine. The mother made it sit in its
separate seat and still it cried more and more.

Finally mother took the kid in her arms and went out of
the theater. There, those 2 were alone. The baby who could not even speak, got
its mother’s time and attention away from movie and the congested crowd and her
friends. The mother pampered the baby’s back and patted his head again and again
wiping off its tears.

Ultimately, the baby got what it wanted. It got its
mother’s touch. Mother’s attention and care in solitude and it could sleep
peacefully. Even without words, it expressed its needs and I was touched.

And not to forget, the chocolate in his hands was still
unwrapped because that was not it wanted.

Incident
2:

This girl was in late twenties whom I have known very
closely. May be because I was her closest friend.

She was a cancer patient. She was on the second stage of
cancer and almost on the verge of proceeding to the third stage.

Doctors counseled her and explained her how much internal
radiation therapy was important for her to get well and live life.

Session by session.. doctors after doctors .. all tried
to make her agree for the radiation therapy because it was for her own good..
for her own survival.. but she was too scared of the pain… Already the cancer gave her so much pain that
she was not ready to bear the pain of treatment.

It just happened one day. That she just told her mummaa
that – “Mummaa.. it’s not that I don’t want to live.. Even I want to live..
because living means being with you.. But I am now too scared of this pain… because
day by day its getting worse and deadly… if the treatment is going to be more
painful than this pain even.. I might not survive the pain.. so I am scared…”

Mummaa did nothing. She just held her hand in her hers
and said – “Do you want me to be with you in ur radiation therapy session? I
will be there till u want…all the time during ur therapy session.. “

Don’t know what clicked that girl. For her, her mummaa
was her pillar of strength.. Although
her mummaa was too busy in her hectic schedule… But still she was ready to give her much
time for the treatment for her life.. for her betterment..

The thought itself was enough for the girl. She felt
loved. She felt important.. She felt she did hold some meaning somewhere in
someone’s life.. and that’s all she had seeked…

Just when she got assured that her mummaa is with her..
she got ready.. she got pacified….Now the physical pain didn’t even matter
since the emotional pain was healed..and the fear was overcome.. the fear of
being un-loved.. the fear of being not-important..

Now it didn't matter to her whether she will survive the cancer or not.. All she was contented with was she was important at least for someone...that too for the most important person in her life - Her mummaa..

*
* *

Both
these incidents speak of only one thing…How important are mothers in our
lives.. Just their being there fills up every void and overcomes every obstacle
and fear and pain.. Just like the child, when it got to know that his mom was
all for himself.. the chocolate didn’t matter… it remained unwrapped.. because
it got mom’s love and attention.. and second case.. the girl.. as soon as she
got the support of her mummaa.. she became determined to overcome the physical
pain.. because she had got mumma with her .. all for herself.. These is what we desire all through the
life..being wanted.. being loved.. from may be boyfriends, friends, husbands..
but no love can be as unconditional as that of Mummaa.. We fail to understand that
its their laps and their hugs which is true paradise…and its only their touch
that heals us.. Value ur mothers… They are irreplaceable…

For another star shall fall, I keep waiting in the night like a
rock..

I will stay like this even if I suffer a hard knock..

Because I have many wishes to make…

Many blessings to seek…

I will wait for other shooting star, to make a wish..

For me it always was, and is still a Surmise…!!

P.S. - My Mentor once taught me December is a month of wishes. So here's a poem on wishes in the same month..Make a Wish on a Shooting Star.. May it be December or Any time of the Year..!! May all ur wishes get fulfilled before the year ends... Amen..!! She also taught me to Wish it.. Believe it and It shall be so.. So believe in the tiny wishes that Ur heart conceives.. Then U r bound to achieve..!! :)

Friday, 8 November 2013

After 1 full year of hard work and romancing with words, finally my blog starts getting some popularity. Firstly, thanks to all the readers who read it... whether u comment or not is immaterial... just leaving your footprints here is what matters..

I was super excited to see the comment on a post by Anurita, the writer of Tattva in which she nominated me for the Liebster awards. I am deeply honoured and would happily like to pass it on. Heartily thanks to Anurita for this honour. Am happy to receive it from someone who is passionate about blogging as well. A big surprise or a Diwali gift that u have given me Anurita.

It’s a fun way to get to know more about your favourite bloggers better and to recommend new blogs to readers.

Liebster Award

What is the Liebster Award all about?

The Liebster Blog Award is given to upcoming/new bloggers or who have less than 200 followers. The 'Liebster' word is of German origin and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.How does it work?

Link back to the persons blog who has nominated you and convey thanks for giving the award.

Answer all questions posted by the nominator.

Nominate 10 more bloggers whom you feel are deserving of more subscribers; you pass the award on to them.

Create 10 questions for the nominees.

Contact the nominees and let them know that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award!

Only one person is my source of inspiration and that is my Mentor and other than her - my own life.

2) Which cartoon character do you relate to and why?

I relate myself to "Winnie-The Pooh" , because he's plumpy as Me. Lol! He is witty and values relationships as well. So I am the female version of Winnie - The Pooh

3) If you were given 1 lakh rupees to shop in an hour to purchase 5 items, what would be your shopping list?

Aah..!! A purple hoodie, lots of books to fill up my room, sponsor meals for orphans for a month, a rado watch and a domain name for my own website.

4) Which one is your pic - Friends/ How i met your mother/ the big bang theory?

Friends... anytime..!! Any season... The best series I have ever watched..

5) Funniest moment of your life.

It was when I was a kid. May be 4-6 years old. I went to a shop to buy a chocolate and my mom had told me it would cost me dhai (2.5) rs. When i went there, the shopkeeper told me that it costed dedh(1.5) rs and asked me for it. I argued for an hour with him saying - "No. You are a liar. My mom said its dhai so its dhai and not dedh."Not knowing he's actually demanding less than what mom had told. Lol.

6) Price of onions perking in your city?

Not that much.

7) Equities, real estate or Fixed income.. which one and why?

This is one question that I prefer to keep out of. I am a lay man to answer this one. (A lay girl i mean)..*wink*

8) Black or white?

Black.. for the parties... And White.. for the money and job

9) One holiday destination that you never wanna go back again?

No such destination. I love travelling. Love being a wanderer.

10) Your favourite book....

This is just so tough. Its as tough as for a kid to decide whether she wants a candy or an ice-cream. But I would say - "Tuesdays with Morrie" ...anyday... anytime.. A book that changed my life..

Now here is a list of my ten Nominees whom I nominate for Liebster Award:-

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

I was in CCD sipping my tropical
iceberg and thinking about what should I pen down as a love story since I had
never been in love. There was a couple sitting opposite to me, playing
scrabble. They were almost of my grandparent’s age. They asked me what I was
thinking since when. I told them about it. And here I pen down the story that
they narrated to me.

***

For Raj, it was just another night. The silver
crescent in the sky played pee-ka-boo moving through the clouds. At times it
shone brightest of all and at times it hid itself behind the clouds. The sky
wore the blanket of grey clouds because of which only the smattering of stars
was visible.

Looking at the stars, Raj just took one more puff
and the grey smoke escaped his lips and a tear rolled down from the corner of
his eye. He missed her - Amara, his love. He looked at the dark black sky and
enjoyed the gushing breeze that played with his hair. He felt as if she was
moving her delicate and smooth fingers in his hair and making him sleep. He was
just about to sleep once his 50th cigarette of the day got over as a
daily routine. Raj Sharma was a thirty-year old handsome boy with a perfect
body-built. He was an investment banker and lived alone in Ahmedabad as a paying
guest. He had the personality of the most eligible bachelor, any girl would die
for. But now, he had preferred to be alone after he lost Amara.

Amara was a girl in late twenties, her dark brown
eyes always rimmed with kohl and her tresses of darkest brown hues perfectly
matching her eyes; and her lips – baby pink and glossy. She was a beautiful girl who also lived alone
in Ahmedabad and was a painter by profession.

That night, when Raj just took the last puff of his
cigarette, he heard a soft whisper. It was a sweet melodious voice of a female,
same voice like that of Amara. He wondered where did it come from. It was late
night and everyone was fast asleep. The apartment below his own, had no female
member. And the apartment above was vacant since last 1 year. And how was it
possible for someone to have voice ditto like Amara? Was it an illusion?

It had been 1 year Amara had passed away. Yes Amara
was dead! Ironically, the meaning of name ‘Amara’ is – one who is immortal.

Raj tried to find out the direction from which the
sweet melodious voice was flowing. It was easier to trace where the melodious
voice came from, since the night was quite calm. The only sounds were
occasional bark of a dog and distant steps of workmen going back home. By now,
Raj could make out that the voice came from the apartment above. As the girl
spoke, the words seem to flow out of her mouth after getting dipped in nectar. The
girl seem to be angry and scolding someone. But even that scolding had the
sweetness.

Raj felt her voice ditto like – Amara and got lost
in his own thoughts and imaginations about Amara. Just when he was lost in his
thoughts, he was suddenly shaken up by the gush of wind.

Raj went to bed that night with the thought in his
mind – “If the voice of the girl is so sweet, how pretty the girl would be?
Would she also be having mesmerizing beauty like Amara?”

He went to sleep hugging Amara’s picture that night.
Again he saw the same dream that night, a dream that had been haunting him
after Amara’s death, since a year.

***

A
year before…

That
day, Amara was dressed in a pearl white kurti and light blue jeans. She had a
red satin scarf around her neck and her darkest-brown tresses left open. That
day, Raj was going to take her on a lunch date and was going to propose her for
marriage. They were going in Raj’s open jeep. Raj was mesmerized by Amara’s beauty. She kept giving Raj romantic
and seductive glances while Raj kept driving. The dew drops of love in her eyes
were quelling Raj’s scorching heart. Her butter-smeared lips as glossy as ripe
cherries seemed to be inviting him. He somehow managed to resist for a while
since he was driving. But then he saw, that the road was clear and the bend on
the road was a km away. So he thought of taking the chance and enjoying the
taste of those ripe cherries. He grabbed Amara from her waist and pulled her
closer and implanted a soft kiss on her lips. He felt same as if it was some
nectar that he was sucking out of the flower. Little did he know, that kiss was
going to change his entire life. The kiss became more passionate and Raj got
lost in the nectarous world, just then he heard a sudden bang. Before he could
realize where the bang came from, he saw the front glass of his jeep broken
into atomic pieces, and pearl white kurti of Amara turning into crimson red. The
truck had hit his jeep and gone by. Amara was lying in his arms, with the blood
streaming out of her skull and all her face had pieces of glasses pierced. That’s
all he could see.

Raj
himself was injured on head. And in no time he dropped unconscious with Amara
in his arms.

When
he gained consciousness, he was in Samved hospital. He was dressed in blue
hospital clothes. He had oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. And his head
was bandaged. He was unable to move much because he felt heaviness in head. As
soon as he moved his head, he felt giddy. But all he thought was whether Amara
was okay or not and how he landed in the hospital? And whether Amara was also
admitted or not?

As
the nurse entered, with an injection in her hand, Raj asked – “Hey sister! Who
brought me here? And I had a girl with me. Where is she?”

Before
the nurse could answer, Raj’s mom entered with Ganges of tears flowing down her
cheeks and her mouth covered with her saree. She immediately came and took
Raj’s hand in hers and said – “Thanks to Ganpati bappa! You are saved. I got a
call yesterday afternoon from this hospital that you are hospitalized and I
took the first flight and came here without even packing my bags for the days I
have to spend here. You have turned so slim. You don’t eat properly. You don’t
take care of yourself. You are ruining your life. I am going to take you to
Mumbai this time with me. No arguments.”

Raj
was too much in pain to argue at that time. He just smiled and said – “Okay
Mom. But…”

Raj’s
Mom stopped from uttering a word ahead and said – “No ifs and buts right now.
Now after you heal yourself I am going to take you to Mumbai with me and there,
we will go to Mahalaxmi temple together and offer lots of modak to Ganpati
bappa to thank him for saving you. And that’s final.”

His
mother’s care melted his heart but her increased spirituality made him smile.

Raj’s
mom, Rajvee Sharma was in fifties. Needless to say, Raj being her only child,
she was very possessive about him. She had been widowed when she was 25 years
of age. At that time, Raj had been only 4 years old. She was alone but she
brought up Raj in a wonderful way as if he was a prince born with golden spoon.
Although being a single parent, she never let Raj give up his desires. She took
up the job as a teacher and worked really hard. She was bachelors in Arts. But
just to give Raj every facility, she did her Bachelors in education after being
widow so that she could work as a teacher. After doing her B.Ed. and M. Ed.,
she became a principal of renowned school in Mumbai.

She
sacrificed her own wishes so she could buy Raj the best things and best
facilities. Raj was always proud of his mother for managing everything
single-handedly and yet being so strong. So he never would go against her will.
Rajvee was a renowned principal in Mumbai. She carried herself really well. She
always remained well-groomed in her crisp cotton sarees and a personality that
depicted that she could rule the world if given a chance. She was never a
sympathy-gainer. Infact, she always believed in standing for her ownself.

In
the hospital room, Raj obeyed his mom and kept quiet for a while. But his
hurricane of thoughts didn’t pacify him and he started feeling restless and
that in turn increased his headache. Amara was the only truth of his life that
he had not revealed to his mother.

Raj
collected all the guts in the world finally and asked – “Mom. I had a girl
travelling with me too when I was driving that jeep. Where is she? Is she fine?
Her name is Amara. And mom, I am sorry but she’s my love and she’s my life
Always and Forever.”

Rajvee
started looking away as if she had not heard. She started pouring water in the
glass from the glass jug lying on the side-table in the hospital.

Keeping
her eye-lids down, she told Raj- “Please have some water. You talk a lot dear.
I told you to rest.”

Raj
resisted this time and said – “No mom! First, please tell me about Amara. I
want to know if she’s okay or not.”

Giving
a stern look, Rajvee told him – “I will tell you but first you have a sip of
water please.”

She
gave water to Raj, with her one hand holding the glass, and the other hand
resting behind his head to help him raise and drink.

Raj
just drank one sip and asked – “Now tell me mom! How’s Amara? Where’s she? Has
she also been brought here? Is she okay?”

Rajvee
took back the hand behind Raj’s head and made him sleep. She put the glass on
the side table and said plainly – “Raj, beta, I am sorry but she’s no more.”

Raj
could not believe what he just heard. He could not bear that blow and started
weeping aloud. He felt as if the world had ended for him there and then. Rajvee
held his hand and let him cry. She cuddled him up after a while and said –
“It’s okay Raj. God might have got something better in store for you. When we
go to Mahalaxmi temple, we will pray that her soul rests in peace.”

After
that episode, Raj had never smiled. Laughing was a far away thing. He decided
to stay alone and aloof in Ahmedabad with Amara’s memories and requested her
mom to bear that much for him. And looking at Raj’s depression, her mom agreed
but she decided to visit him for 15 days every month.

***

At present…

Raj’s routine is fixed since a year after that
episode. He wakes up at 6 a.m. Then he goes for a walk for an hour at the
beautiful river front constructed by the bank of river Sabarmati. Then he comes
back at around 8 and has a cup of black coffee and a brown toast and goes to
office. He works really hard and remains engrossed in work so that he doesn’t
miss Amara more. He eats canteen’s blend food in lunch and returns back home at
night 8 p.m. He again has black coffee and brown bread toast and again goes for
a stroll along the river front enjoying the calmness of the nature.

He returns back around at 10 p.m. At 11 p.m. or so,
he starts listening to the music and at times – “Love Guru” on radio on 91.1
f.m., sitting alone on the swing in his balcony. He loves the solutions that
Love Guru gives in his husky voice. And every time, he would ask a caller to
move on and forget the past, Raj would change the station. Because, maybe he
could not move on since a year and that made him feel helpless or maybe he
didn’t want to move on.

Life had been same for him since last 1 year till he
heard that sweet voice that night.

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Tanisha was there, lost in a deep slumber, not knowing what
the coming day had in store for her. She had slept late that night after
struggling with the mind fogged with various thoughts, whether her best friend
Aahana had reached Jugalpur properly or not? Was she ok or not? Lost between these
thoughts, Tanisha did not know when she fell asleep that night.

Next morning, when she woke up, her body pained badly. It
was as if her skin had turned inside out and her nerves were beating up against her skin with terrible pain. The
cancer was eating up her body from inside. Somehow, she still managed to get
out of the bed.

While she was just about to step out of the quilt, she again got worried whether her best friend had reached safely to her destination or
not.

She immediately smsed her
asking – “Good Morning dear! Have a wonderful day. Have you reached there safely?”

She got worried. She forgot her own pain and started
worrying about her..

A thought came to her mind – “Its 6:00 a.m. Why are msgs not getting delivered? Is Aahana okay? Shall I call her
up and confirm whether she reached safely?
What if she is sleeping because of tiredness of journey? Let me not
disturb her.”

After hesitating for a long time, she gathered all the
strength to call her up. She dialed the number with her heart beating fast because she knew Aahana was a busy individual and she didn't want to bother her in her hectic schedule. Still she managed to call.

And a voice came from other side – “The number you are
trying to reach is out of network.”

With heavy heart, Tanisha put the phone down. May be she might
not have reached. So Tanisha just prayed to god – “Dear God! I hope my best friend is
ok. Please take care of her.”

She completed her daily chores in her room. She was still in
terrible pain.

She thought- “I would go out and ask mom to cuddle me up.
May be a hug from mom should work out.”

She could hear loud voices from the living room.

Tanisha thought – “May be mom-dad are watching T.V. at very high
volume.”

When she stepped out of the room, she saw her mom-dad
arguing on a loud volume over a petty issue that the salt was more in
breakfast.

She just went there and sat in the living room on the couch
and started watching t.v. so that her mind gets distracted. She waited for their
argument to get over so that she could ask for a hug from her mom.

After a while, when the silence crept in the house, she
thought – “Is this the correct time to tell mom that I am in terrible pain? Can
I ask for a hug at this time? May be my hug would heal mom’s stress as well.”

After collecting all the guts, she approached her mom who
was chopping vegetables in the kitchen.

She went there and told her mom – “Mom, Can you do me a
favour?”

Mom gave her a red eye and replied – “What the hell you
think I am? Am I your maid or what? Do you want me to serve you coffee, snacks,
lunch and medicines in bed? Medicines are my responsibility or yours?”

She just looked down and could not utter a word.

She wanted to tell her mom that - “I am in terrible pain. Can you just cuddle me
up?”

But with heavy heart, she just said one thing – “Sorry Mom!”

She made her coffee on her own. She instructed the cook what
lunch and breakfast she wants to have and Tanisha returned to her room.

She could not stop the tears overflowing from her swollen
eyes. She cried for an hour hugging her favourite teddy bear. After crying for an hour, she felt a little
relaxed.

All of a sudden she checked her mobile. And she smiled
because she got a confirmation that her messages were delivered to her best
friend- Aahana. All of a sudden, she forgot all her pain and smiled with a thought that
at least her friend is ok.

She thought – “Can I ask a hug from my best friend who has gone
to Jugalpur? No! What if she’s busy at the moment? Let me not disturb her.”

Thereafter, Tanisha decided to spend her day with books and books all
around. She kept reading all good books one after another.

Finally, the day wrapped up itself in a shell of emptiness leaving
her hollow from inside. She felt a void in her heart but she could not
understand how to fill that up.

At night, before going to bed, she just prayed to God –
“Dear God! My Day was good. Am happy. Thank you for making me realize again that books are
my best friends. But don't forget Aahana is the bestest friend ever. Its just that she's busy. Please keep my parents and my bestest friend happy and healthy. I
know mom was already in stress and I approached her at wrong time but I was in
terrible pain and all I wanted was just a hug. But its my fault I know. So
please forgive me. I will not bother anyone. And I so want u see you soon God because the pain is unbearable and may be you would wrap your arms around me so that I heal.”

Before just going to sleep, she had a habit of writing the
summary of the day in her diary.

That day, she inked down – “It was just another day! Strange
is Life! Sometimes just a soft hug can heal you and sometimes a stream of words
can stab your heart. But its okay!”

She messaged her best friend, Aahana – Good night and kept that
message window open in her mobile and hugged the mobile in her hand and slept. May be that
would heal her. A virtual hug may be!

The Leaves falling down from the Maple Tree...The bench awaiting for you to sit and set Your Spirits Free...The path so awaited, the path so calm..The Stroll I long for with my every morning Alarm.. My Head resting on your Shoulder, Our fingers Intervened..A Morning I crave for, So Beautiful, So Serene

Thursday, 15 August 2013

Here I am standing at my window and looking at the world
outside… Sipping my cuppa Orange
Hazelnut coffee by the window and making an abstract contact with the world
through My Window.

I have always loved
sitting by my window, since my childhood..
Although I have always been most of the time indoors, still I always
felt connected to the outer world through the thin glass pane of my window. It
never makes me feel the Pangs of Loneliness even today….

I have spent endless hours sitting or standing by the
window….

Watching the sky putting off its black blazer and putting
on its crisp orange clothes which turn yellow with the passing day…

I have been by my window.. just looking at the
Vermillion Sun and the Scarlet Sky with the Sun setting down…!! I see the birds
flapping their wings restlessly trying to get back to their nests before the
dusk sets in without any traffic signals or traffic jams blocking their way…!!
All they have on their mind is to get back to their loved ones..!!

I have been by my window watching the sky turning from
vermillion to purple to a black blanket with diamonds studded on it… A complete
star studded sky..

I have been looking through my window…. May it be scorching
heat of summer.. preventing the bright light to creep in.. Playing with the
water droplets on the glass of the window in Monsoon… making various patterns
with my fingers… Or may be savoring the White thick Fog in the winter that
encapsulates me and detaches me from the world…

I have spent endless hours there thinking, sobbing over a
heart break, smiling, reminiscing, reading the book, dreaming about silly
things, waiting for a call of a beloved… Talking with friends funniest things
over the a call…Listening to my most favourite numbers on Ipod…

A window that accompanies you…. A window that touches you.. A
window that offers u a shoulder to lean on it.. A window that’s innocent.. A
window that connects u to the outer world.. A window that shows u life when u r
low…

A window that’s comfortable … A window that does not suffocate even though the
world is on the other side of it.. A window that lets the wind come in and
caress ur cheeks and play with ur hair…

A window that shows u people rushing through their
lives…. A window that shows the lovers
holding their hands… A window showing the couple fighting over a matter.. A
window that shows the father tossing his kid in the air and holding it.. A
window that shows a mother hugging her kid so tightly that it feels
comfortable…

A
window that’s speechless and yet a great company.. And I love being the Girl at
the Window…. At times praying God to send an Angel to me soon….At times with a
desire of breaking the shackles of loneliness and going and connecting with the
world… At times with enjoying the
solitude just with the Life through my Window….

P.S. – I am
sure each one of us that one window at our home.. through which the
disappointments makes the way out and rays hope and faith gets in… I too have
that favourite window.. Do u also have?? If not, make one today itself…