David Cameron: from the depths of despair to the delight of a beautiful baby girl

As David Cameron gushed with pride at the birth of his “unbelievably
beautiful” fourth child, part of him was surely struggling to make sense of
the bewildering extremes of emotion he has experienced over the past 18
months.

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David and Samantha Cameron pictured at their London home with children, Nancy, Arthur and IvanPhoto: GETTY

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David Cameron and his wife Samantha arrive at St Nicholas Church in Chadlington, Oxfordshire for the funeral of their son IvanPhoto: PA

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David Cameron announces the birth of their fourth child outside the maternity ward of the Royal Cornwall Hospital in TruroPhoto: APEX

By Gordon Rayner, Chief Reporter

7:19AM BST 25 Aug 2010

As recently as February last year, he contemplated “packing in” his political career as he and his wife, Samantha, tried to come to terms with the death of their elder son, Ivan.

The future Prime Minister admitted at the time that his political achievements meant “nothing” in the context of Ivan’s death at the age of six, and in his darkest moments he began to think: “To hell with everything.”

The fact that Mr Cameron, 43, was able to press ahead with a successful general election campaign, and that he and his wife found the strength to go ahead with plans for another baby, is testament to a relationship that has proved strong enough to withstand the very worst challenges life can deliver.

Ivan Cameron, born in April 2002, was six days old when the Camerons, who had then been married for almost six years, were told he had cerebral palsy and Ohtahara syndrome, a severe form of epilepsy, which meant he would need 24-hour care.

Mr Cameron later said when doctors told them how severely disabled Ivan was, “the news hits you like a freight train . . . you are depressed for a while because you are grieving for the difference between your hopes and the reality. But then you get over that, because he’s wonderful.”

Despite the immense challenges presented by Ivan’s care, the couple decided to carry on with their plans to have more children.

Nancy Gwen was born in 2004 and another son, Arthur Elwen, was born in 2006.

Regardless of the fact that he was only months into his job as Conservative leader when Arthur was born, Mr Cameron insisted on doing his share of feeding and nappy changing.

He celebrated his 100th day as leader by getting up at 4am to feed his son, and changed three nappies before leaving for work at 8am.

Admitting that his paternal duties made him feel “virtuous”, Mr Cameron said at the time: “The lack of sleep hasn’t been too bad. You get a lot of extra energy from the whole excitement of a new baby.”

The Camerons won widespread admiration for their refusal to allow Ivan’s illness to prevent them enjoying as full a family life as was possible, but his needs dominated their lives nevertheless.

When the couple bought their home in west London the basement was converted into a virtual hospital where Ivan could be given the round-the-clock care he required, which included 26 different doses of medicine each day. The basement complex included a room for a carer to sleep alongside Ivan, a lift to the ground floor and a play room where he could spend time with his siblings.

Friends said the Camerons’ aim was “more than anything else, no matter how long they had Ivan, for him to feel loved and wanted”.

Controversially, Mr Cameron decided to allow his family to be photographed and filmed. Gordon Brown was among his critics, accusing the Conservative leader of using his family like “props”, adding: “I don’t parade my family around the place.”

But the Camerons were partly driven by a refusal to keep Ivan shut away from the outside world and a desire to show that he was no more or less a part of their family than their other children.

The day they had always dreaded came on Feb 25 last year, hours after Ivan had been taken ill at home as the family made pancakes for Shrove Tuesday. Ivan died at St Mary’s Hospital in London after suffering a major seizure.

The couple later returned home to tell Ivan’s brother and sister that he had gone to heaven and would no longer be in pain. “We always knew Ivan would not live forever, and he had been incredibly ill during his short life, but we never expected him to die so young and so suddenly,” Mr Cameron said weeks after the death. “We just miss him.”

He later said: “So much of our life was arranged around Ivan, the void is immense. But also, you are suddenly able to do things you couldn’t do before, like walk across a muddy field perhaps, and you find yourself there quickly and it’s like, ‘Oh, here we are,’ followed by a feeling of guilt because you’re having a good time and he’s not there.’’

As the Camerons planned Ivan’s funeral, where his favourite bedtime story, Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are, was read to the congregation, they were comforted by 11,000 letters of condolence from members of the public, many of them bereaved parents. Only when he addressed the Tory party conference the following October did he admit to contemplating whether his career was worth the sacrifices he had made.

“When such a big part of your life suddenly ends nothing else – nothing outside – matters,” he said. “It’s like the world has stopped turning and the clocks have stopped ticking. And as they slowly start again, weeks later, you ask yourself all over again: do I really want to do this?” Looking to his wife in the audience, he said: “You think about what you really believe and what sustains you. I know what sustains me the most. She is sitting right there and I’m incredibly proud to call her my wife.”

Coming from most other politicians, Mr Cameron’s public show of affection would have seemed cheesy at best, but few would dare to doubt the sincerity of his praise for a woman with whom he had faced such adversity.

Michael Gove, the Education Secretary and one of the Camerons’ closest friends, said: “The fact that David and Samantha went through everything together, meant the bond and love between them was only strengthened by it all.”

The loss of Ivan served only to harden the Camerons’ resolve to make time for family life once they entered Downing Street.

Mrs Cameron, 39, is said to insist that her husband leaves the Commons early at least twice a week for a family supper, and Mr Cameron makes a point of being home at least once a week for bath time. Mrs Cameron, meanwhile, drastically cut back her hours in her job as creative director of the stationer Smythson, working just two days a week as a consultant.

She said in her first major interview earlier this year that spending time with her husband on the election trail had been “a pretty intense experience” and that she had been sleeping “incredibly badly”.

Since her husband’s election victory, she has maintained a relatively low profile, and the birth of her second daughter will increase speculation that she will be seen even less in future as she concentrates on the job of bringing up three children.

Mr Cameron spoke openly of his desire to have another child last year. Meeting a new mother and her baby in December, he said: “It makes me want another one.”

In March, when the couple announced they were expecting a baby, Mr Cameron could not contain his delight, declaring himself “completely thrilled” at the news.

He is expected to take paternity leave. And whereas his predecessor, Tony Blair, was criticised in some circles for taking time off after the birth of his son, Leo, few will begrudge Mr Cameron precious time alone with his family.