Constitutional Limericks, Sonnets,
and PoemsSubmitted by 1Ls in Constitutional Law I, April
2003.

Bowers v Hardwick Limerick

There once was a man who was gay
Getting it on in the hay.
His bedroom was locked,
The police never knocked,
And his rights are nonexistent to this day.
--Micha Bewley [1st prize, Section C]

T. L. O.

There's a gril we'll just call T. L. O.
In the bathroom, smoke rings she did blow,
And to make matters worse,
She showed Choplick her purse!
She really should just have said, "No."
--Eric Shimamoto

I'm a soprano
I sing in the choir

I can argue both sides of any topic
I am a member of the debate squad

I plan dances and listen to student concerns
I am president of the student council

The Administration says, "Pee in the cup!"
I say, "No."

Maybe now I will have time to smoke that joint.
--Amanda Baker

The Current Court Dinner Sonnet

"You cannot read the space between the lines,"
Scalia took some red meat from his plate
"the words are there; they'll do just fine."
Judge Thomas looked up, nodded, and then ate.
O'Connor (who was tipsy) raised a toast
And spilled some wine upon the head Stevens
In praise of a more pragmatic approach.
Kennedy smiled and said, "That makes us even."
"What of the people and what of what they say?"
All eyes looked at Breyer with disbelief.
"It was people who wrote the document anyway."
And then he ducked his head and had some beef.
"This is not the people's state,"
They all laughed and cleaned their plates.
--John Clark

A Penumbral Limerick

I only want some privacy
But there are some who fail to see.
They take great umbrage
At my penumbrage
They just refuse to let me be.
--Geoffrey Willmoth

Ode to Justice Scalia

Our Founding Fathers had a vision
To lose sight of it is sac-religion.
But he will resist it's demolition.

Like the framers, he fears no fight.
He uses text and intent to guide his sight.
He is the only Justice who knows what's right:
Scalia, the Constitution's last true knight!
--Mike Ebbing

The Creche Cases

Establishing religion, the First Amendment won't allow.
To circumvent this ruling, add some reindeer or a cow.
--Jason Kueser

Accion Afirmativa

la tristeza
es la fruta de la pobreza

la desigualdad
es la fruta del las clases

la desesperacion
es la frutal de la injusticia

la esperanza por la igualdad
es la fruta de la accion afirmativa

la accion afirmativa
es la fruta de la justicia

Affirmative Action

sorrow
is the fruit of poverty

inequality
is the fruit of the classes

desperation
is the fruit of injustice

hope for equality
is the fruit of affirmative action

affirmative action
is the fruit of justice.
--Jen Kygiel

The Scrutiny Shuffle

Compelling it will be when race we do see,
But for he-she, important we'll plea
As for the dollar, legitimate we'll holler
And for all others, we'll just vote our druthers.
--Robert Black