Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

Thursday 30

“30 Rock” (KOB-4 8:30 p.m.) The self-referential NBC sitcom enters its third season with Liz trying to adopt a child and Jack trying to reclaim his position from evil usurper Devin Banks. ... Gotta love evil people named Devin.

“Supernatural” (KASY-50 8 p.m.) In tonight’s pre-Halloween ep, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester,” Sam and Dean discover a little seasonal demon worship. ... Frankly, it’s about time somebody opened up a can of whoop-ass on the Great Pumpkin, considering all he’s put poor Linus through in the last 42 years.

Friday 31

See Idiot Box above.

Saturday 1

“Legend of the Seeker” (WGN 3 p.m.) Remember the good old days when Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert syndicated fantasy goodness in the form of “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” and “Xena: Warrior Princess”? Well, those days are back. Here, the duo adapts The Sword of Truth novels by Terry Goodkind for a live-action shot-in-New-Zealand action series. It’s got wizards! And Ted Raimi!

“Gladiators” (BBC America 2 p.m.) “American Gladiators” gets a U.K. remake. The show still has hulking men and women in Spandex beating up hapless contestants, but the British Gladiators are much more polite about it.

“COPS: Morons on Parade” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Ladies and gentlemen: This week’s winner for “Most Unnecessary Subtitle.” It’s “COPS,” for crying out loud. Every week is morons on parade.

Battle Planet (Sci-Fi 8 p.m.) It looks like a CGI-heavy (heavier?) version of Starship Troopers and stars Brea Grant, that fast chick from “Heroes.” Hmm. Needs a little more nerd juice. From the director/special makeup effects artist of “Power Rangers S.P.D.”? ... Yeah, that should do it.

Monday 3

“Deal or No Deal: 200th Episode” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Even babies get bored with games of “peek-a-boo.” Haven’t you people figured out this show is the television equivalent of “pick a number between one and 10”?

“Saturday Night Live Presidential Bash 2008” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Whether Obama or McCain wins, “SNL” still gets to air all its political sketches from this past season.

Tuesday 4

“Election Night 2008” (FOX/NBC/ABC/CBS 7 p.m.) Think of it as a soccer game. It’s gonna be long and boring, and at the end of the night, we still might not know who won. Of course, if it all gets too much for you, you can always change the channel.

“Daily Show and Colbert Report Election Night 2008” (Comedy Central 9 p.m.) Yes, it’s more election coverage, but at least you can laugh about it here on Comedy Central.

Wednesday 5

“Six for the Road” (TLC 8 p.m.) A real-life husband and wife with four kids give up their home and live life on the road. ... On a related note: Why is TLC so obsessed with people who breed?