I'm an ENFP but I really, really need your help. My best friend (probably an INFP) has a lot of problems because of the breakup with her first true love five months ago. She just can't get over him and always hopes that he might come back to her although he already has a new girlfriend. It kills her to see how happy he is. For the last five months, she became very depressed. She cried the whole time, drank alcohol nearly every weekend and even started cutting herself. All of my friends think that she's just overreacting and don't take her problems seriously. But I can see how bad she's feeling. I just want to help her so bad but she won't let me.
Do you have any idea what I can do? For me, her behaviour is definitely not normal and healthy anymore :/
Thank you very much.
coorooo

However, if I am pushed to speak, and don't go into quiet withdrawal mode, then God only knows what will spew out.

Oh gosh yes. I was pushed to speak about something I felt was important to someone a few weeks back. They got me on the spot and I went into quiet, "beat around the bush" mode when really I could of gone full out direct, raw and honest mode if they had only given me time >_<

I'm an ENFP but I really, really need your help. My best friend (probably an INFP) has a lot of problems because of the breakup with her first true love five months ago. She just can't get over him and always hopes that he might come back to her although he already has a new girlfriend. It kills her to see how happy he is. For the last five months, she became very depressed. She cried the whole time, drank alcohol nearly every weekend and even started cutting herself. All of my friends think that she's just overreacting and don't take her problems seriously. But I can see how bad she's feeling. I just want to help her so bad but she won't let me.
Do you have any idea what I can do? For me, her behaviour is definitely not normal and healthy anymore :/
Thank you very much.
coorooo

She needs guidance! Not just in words but in actions - show her the real potential of discovering so much more - whether it be her career goals or that someone who can relate to her later on will be there (like a soulmate). Us INFPs tend to have this strong idealistic mindset that we end up holding onto a lot of things. However, some things we hold onto are fixable but the things that aren't (love) we have no control over and it pisses us off.

I would say try to find (or be) logical in your approach with her. Yes she needs comfort but a wake up call if it's been five months might be good.

I'm an ENFP but I really, really need your help. My best friend (probably an INFP) has a lot of problems because of the breakup with her first true love five months ago. She just can't get over him and always hopes that he might come back to her although he already has a new girlfriend. It kills her to see how happy he is. For the last five months, she became very depressed. She cried the whole time, drank alcohol nearly every weekend and even started cutting herself. All of my friends think that she's just overreacting and don't take her problems seriously. But I can see how bad she's feeling. I just want to help her so bad but she won't let me.
Do you have any idea what I can do? For me, her behaviour is definitely not normal and healthy anymore :/
Thank you very much.
coorooo

No it's not normal and she needs professional help. Start with a doctor.

I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

Often I know I am only taking this too personally but often times I feel frustrated or in a sense "alienated" due to the fact that quite often, many people I find are not altogether very authentic or genuine in terms of what their motives or intend is, and often as well it of course goes to follow then as well that most conversations that from there start to feel almost pointless in some instances.

I know that in some ways it's still very much "survival of the fittest" but even then, it still doesn't mean that "subjective" feelings are altogether pointless or useless because again, what is "objective" reality even? I think often times Introverted Feeling is more or less banned (not exactly by going on the MBTI and such) from society due to the fact that I believe it leads to questioning of such notions as authority far too often it makes those in power unhappy (or those who desire power)

It's just the same as you're not supposed to talk about "other people" and the existence of that segment of reality. It's quite strange. *sigh*

It honestly feels to me often as though disavowing your own "subjective" interpretations of reality/life (whether they are clearly your feelings or/values) feels more likened to scooping out a part of your insides, 'who you are' and relinquishing your physical self to that of the existence likened to an automation. Society is very Extroverted dominant/preferring for some strange reason. I am not saying either functions are bad, but there's an obvious emphasis in society that says specific functions and perspectives are "right" and others are "wrong" (but then ignoring that there's even such things a "society")

So pretty much that, everyone would rather just resign themselves to being told what to think and what to do all the time? geesh.

But I realize as well that perhaps the "objective parameters of society, are not up for individualistic debate or questioning; but I think that they should at least always be, if you want to live in a free society. But "free" "society" are like, totally "feeler"-y useless philosophical concepts that are to be relegated to the dust heap, correct? they merely do not matter.

Extroverted feelings---always being mindful of what the collective and societal values are, how you "should" feel and think. Objective thinking---more or less the same thing. A cultivated and refined way of looking/thinking about the world where topics and perspectives most be viewed in a certain manner. Which is basically the area of interest that is banned, is it not?

Humanity is being lost in the machinations it imposes to create for itself. Do human beings have free will? (THIS IS PHILOSOPHY, PHILOSOPHY IS POINTLESS, BLAARGH, BURN THE WITCH,)

EVERYTHING IS AN ACT, WE ARE ALL JUST ACTING, ALL OF THE TIME. EVERYTHING IS STAGED, WHAT IS THE GOD DAMN POINT!? ("OMFG, WUT!!? ITS USELESS TO THINK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT") as many would say in replying. And if you question everything, it's turned around on you on a personal level "just ignore it" !!!! that doesn't explain anything.

Can you comment on the tendancy to cocoon when you guys need to sort something out of think it over? What are you doing during that process (when to the outside it may look like reading, playing video games, smoking etc)? How do you go about solving the problem at hand? (I've heard some INFPs say that they have to complete tear down the existing stuff and start from scratch) Do you want people to leave you alone, or respectfully check in on you now and again?

Yes going back to the very beginning and making sense of whatever it is that is bothering us. Its time consuming trying to fit all the puzzle pieces, patterns and different circumstances that lead to the Issue. I prefer to be alone during this time however sometimes it takes hours, days even weeks to see clarity, so we don't always have that time alone. This is when you will notice we are checked out mentally, you might here us say, what was that you were asking. When I'm in my sorting mood I can't focus on much of anything else, even if I look like I'm doing something else, my thoughts and my head are totally detached from anything around me. The worse you can do is try and give us advice unless we specifically ask for it. NFPs will ask if they are in need, if not they will snarl at you for interfering with their thought process. This process can be deep and long, so please don't ever leave ??????? marks, or anything related, it doesn't help it only makes us feel very annoyed with you to the point we won't want to be opened or share in our thoughts then or ever.