Originally published: October 20, 2011

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Do you remember that Sylvester Stallone movie (and don’t you hate it when someone deliberately reawakens memories you’ve successfully repressed, such as old Stallone movies)? You know the one: Sandra Bullock plays the lovable but klutzy (what else?) police officer in a Utopian future — where crime has vanished and sex is all but forgotten — that resurrects a cryogenically frozen Sly, whose character — like all Stallone characters — is long on muscle and short on subtle. The sad thing is that Wesley Snipes, for whom I do have a modicum of respect, got roped into the affair, which was almost certainly the start of his long slide downhill that culminated in his conviction for tax evasion, not to mention recent movies such as The Detonator.

Anyway, the movie — whatever it was called — doesn’t matter, at least not for the purposes of this column. What I am trying to get you to remember is the futuristic car Sly’s character crashed (again, big on the muscle …) into police headquarters. You remember the one: It looked like a Saturn EV1 electric car on steroids and its entire cabin filled up with Styrofoam to protect the driver’s woefully overtaxed synaptic cavity. It was the only comedic moment in a film I am pretty sure was supposed to be farcical. Look at those sillies, we were supposed to think, in their preposterous Elysian fantasy complete with its over-the-top depiction of the nannification of the automobile.

Well, yesterday’s farce would seem to be today’s reality. Safety, by some measure at least, is the number one topic in automobile design today. (Activists and government wags may obsess about fuel economy, but I strongly suspect safety is the more widespread concern.) And that silly car we thought so comical in the movie may actually be upon us.

I speak of the Scion iQ that has no less than 11 air bags. Yes, 11 of them. Besides the typical inflatables that protect the torsos of the front passengers from frontal impact, the seat-mounted side air bags that protect torsos from side impacts, side curtains that prevent one and all from knocking their noggins should the little Scion be sideswiped and two nifty seat cushions that prevent front-seat occupants from submarining forward, there are also knee air bags to protect the front-seat passengers’ lower extremities should he or she be flung into the dash. Normally the purview of high-end cars, the knee air bags — were they the end of Toyota’s commitment to passively restraining us — would take the total to 10, the equal of the very best of luxury sedans.

However, as Ron Popeil used to say, “But wait, there’s more.” Where’s that 11th air bag? It’s built into the rear tailgate, as the iQ’s rear window is presumably so close to the rear passengers that, should it be hit from behind, they would be flung into it much like the front passenger into the windshield in the case of a head-on. It’s a world’s first and Scion is to be commended for making a car so inexpensive (the iQ starts at $16,670) so safe.

However, just use a little imagination. Picture all 11 air cushions inside the Scion’s small cabin inflating simultaneously and, suddenly, the future car in Demolition Man (for that is the name of the movie you were trying desperately not to remember) is not as preposterous as it once seemed.

Of course, there are all manner of fail-safes to prevent all 11 from deploying at the same time (though, wouldn’t you tune in to see that on an episode of MythBusters?). Nonetheless, the allusion does highlight how truly obsessed we’ve become with cocooning ourselves from every possible pratfall.

Besides the obvious irony that all this safety equipment is being accompanied by all manner of computerized gadgetry to distract us into making the idiotic driving mistakes that cause air bags to deploy (see October, 2011 Consumer Reports’ “Connect Cars: A New Risk” for a detailed analysis), I can’t help wondering how this obsession with safety reflects on us.

This may well be a discussion for a broader forum than Motor Mouth, but I have long wondered what our obsession with safety at all costs says about us.

Previous generations defined themselves by fighting wars to defend democracy, protesting the ills of racism and building the lasting legacy of freedom of speech.

We, meanwhile, are consumed with not slipping in the bathtub.

We seem to believe that the road to human happiness lies not in reaching for the stars but in preventing the world’s crinkles from stubbing our toes. We dress up our kids in helmets for backyard romps on tricycles, we protest any sport that has even the slightest possibility of physical injury and, pretty soon, we may not even be allowed to drive our own cars.

I don’t know about you, but I find it very deflating to think that, while our predecessors risked all for the lofty goals that defined their generations, we cower in corners worrying that we might get ouchies.

So, I heartily congratulate Toyota for making its new subcompact so safe, a truly remarkable feat for a car so small and so inexpensive. I just wish it did not so pointedly reflect the defining ideal of our generation.

General Motors develops a new air bag to prevent injury during side impacts

Not to be outdone by Toyota’s rear window air bag, General Motors has found yet another use for the inflatable supplemental restraint, this time on the inside of the driver’s seat. Deploying in a side impact, this new air bag prevents one front-seat passenger from intruding into the other’s seat. While other air bags alleviate soft human tissue from interacting with hard automobile parts, one presumes this one is so you don’t knock your noggin that of your fellow passenger. According to GM, 29% of the fatalities in side collisions occurred to the front-seat passenger of the non-struck side of the vehicle, which the new air bags are designed to reduce. The new bag is to be introduced on the 2013 Chevy Traverse, GMC Acadia and Buick Enclave SUVs.