Monday, 1 September 2014

Narcissus Loved Again

The gay delusion is a part of me.’ Ovid, The Story of Narcissus, Book Three, The Metamorphoses.

Narcissus suddenly
sprang awake with the most agonising headache he had ever had, verily a
migraine to shame Zeus’ very thunder. He rolled from the bed onto the floor
clutching his distraught head, and then curled up into the foetal position,
moaning lornly, trying to squeeze the pain out. It was undoubtedly the worst
headache he had ever, ever had.

‘Zeus above!’ he wailed in prayer ‘Banish
this pain and a fatted calf shall be thine; ’pon my soul!’

Zeus made no answer but Narcissus’
expectancy of relief clarified his mind somewhat. What might ease the ill would
be for him to soak his head in warm water. He uncurled himself in order to find
fire, water, and a basin.

There was a knock on what had to be the
front door.

The migraine continued throbbing
thunderously in his head, but Narcissus had now become aware of himself, of his
renewed and reborn state. He stood up and felt himself all over. Whole, and
reformed after he had melted like wax. And he was in a clean, gracious
domicile.

That throbbing was gradually mounting. Is
this Hades or The Elysian Fields, he thought to himself. Is this unutterable pain
the beginning of accursed and endless torment, or the residue of his last
Earthly anguish, a counterpoint to the promised Bliss of Elysium?

The knock came again.

Would answering it seal his fate to
damnation, endlessly wracked with pain? Would answering the call erase this
agony? Narcissus squeezed his screaming, pain-ridden head. Is this Hades or The
Elysian Fields? He was now immobilised in indecision, only able to hold his
well-nigh unbearable pain.

‘Everything is fine, Narcissus,’ Came a Voice,
Age and Sex indeterminate, from what had to be the front door. ‘Don’t worry,
you’re in Paradise, The Elysian Fields; everyone is usually disoriented when
they first get Here.’

Thank the Gods, thought Narcissus. He brought
his hands down to his sides and thought to himself. Well, it might be best to
open the door. He went to find the entrance, rubbing his temples.

He was eventually confronted by An Old Man
at the entrance’s opened door, with long, grey Hair, a long, grey Goatee, a
bright red Shirt, blue Leggings, and Barefoot. He was also the most Beautiful
Man that Narcissus had ever seen, yea, the most Handsome Person he had ever
seen, the fine Wrinkles about His Eyes accentuating His wide, Inviting Smile.
It was a Mien, inconceivably, even more Handsome than his own, one that
Narcissus could easily bend to kiss the Lips of, His Wrinkles placing
Narcissus’ own in such a much more desirable light. His migraine had vanished
completely at the sight of Him. He paused to collect himself.

‘Is this verily The Elysian Fields,’ he
asked of The Old Man.

‘Indeed, Narcissus. But we call it
Paradise around Here.’

‘How canst I know this is sooth?’

‘Do you remember dying?’

‘Yes; I wailed while I melted like wax.’

‘Well then, you’re whole now, housed in a
very nice abode. Where else would account for that?’

It was a good question and Narcissus had
little trouble in accepting the truth of what The Old Man Said.

‘Who art Thou,’ he asked.

‘God. You undoubtedly know me as Zeus, but
everyone around Here calls me God. Personally I prefer being called Maker.’

‘Zeus?’

‘Yes.’

Well, thought Narcissus, if The Elysian
Fields, or rather Paradise, exists then there must be a Zeus, or God. And
Narcissus’ rebirth clearly confirmed he was in Paradise.

‘How have I come to be here? My previous
life was not especially pious.’

‘Ah, simple. My Son’s 2050th
birthday is at the end of this week and Paradise is celebrating by granting access
to Here for all long-dead pagan heroes. They’ve so far proven to be a hearty
bunch. Odysseus especially.’

Narcissus looked down at his sandals.
Well, he couldn’t deny the evidence of his reborn senses: this verily is The
Elysian Fields, Paradise rather, and this Beautiful Man must indeed be as He
Claims. He looked up again.

‘Are all such as are here in Th . . .
Paradise as Beautiful as Thou, Maker? Have I come into a Beauty to complement
my own?’

God Laughed, genuinely Flattered.

‘No,’ replied God, ‘at least not
physically. But we’re all beautiful around Here.’

‘Well, thank You, Maker. Methinks I must
perforce rest awhile, the better to accustom myself to this unlooked for
wonder.’

‘Certainly, certainly, Narcissus. Just
have a hot drink, a bit of a think, and you’ll be as right as rain in a day or
two. Any questions, just call over to My Place. Anyone here will be able to
show you the way.’

‘Thank You, Maker. I will mull some wine
and consider this boon.’ God smiled again at him, almost taking Narcissus’
breath away with Its untrammelled depth of Loveliness, and then Left him alone.
Narcissus shut the door and went to find if there was any wine in his new place,
a stirring taking hold deep within his loins.

‘The most Beautiful Person I’ve ever
seen,’ he said, beginning to investigate his allotment of Paradise.

*

Narcissus had never
been a big drinker and so after his second mulled wine he had found enough
courage to consider how best to win The Maker’s Love, the Love of a Beauty
greater than his own. Well, he soon realised, considering that he was in
Paradise the most straightforward path would probably prove the one most likely
to succeed. Doubtlessly romantic subterfuge would be frowned on in this Place,
and also undoubtedly easily detected. Maybe simply asking The Maker out for a
walk would be the most effective? The Gardens Here must be splendid and it
would be a good way to better know his new Home. And, after all, didn’t The
Maker Himself say, ‘Any questions, just
call over to My Place’? The increased pressure in Narcissus’ loins decided
him: he would walk over to His place soon and invite Him out for a walk.

‘No, Maker, thank You. I was hoping we
could walk awhile together, perhaps visit some of the Gardens Here in
Paradise.’

‘Certainly, Narcissus, certainly. We do
indeed have some fantastic Gardens Here. Just let Me Get a Coat.’ He re-joined
Narcissus quickly, having Donned a dark, suede Coat.

God began the walk by taking Narcissus
along the River behind His Place, sure that he would be once again be
fascinated with his image in the Water. Narcissus though had eyes only for God
when they stooped at the River’s edge to drink of the crystal clear Water.
Narcissus was once again fascinated by the fact that The Maker’s Wrinkles about
His Eyes accentuated His Lips.

They continued their walk, God Talking proudly
of His Son and filling Narcissus in on the Fortunes Christ had Won. Narcissus
was suitably impressed with His Resurrection, but for some reason could not
credit that He was the first to be Resurrected. Narcissus instinctively felt
that someone else must have paved the way for Christ, someone who had loved
deeply all of their lives. Only love, deeply felt throughout a lifetime,
secretly thought Narcissus, not the violence of crucifixion, could annul death.
But by the same token it was love that had slain Narcissus so maybe then
violence was the only way to resurrection?

‘Does Your Son Live Here close to Thee,
Maker?’

‘Yes, though sometimes I Wish He Wasn’t
indeed so close. But that’s usually on My bad days.’

They
had by now arrived at what looked to be a large Park with an Avenue of Oaks,
Canopies interlocked, leading to a large Crystal Fountain. There were Seats
around the Fountain, along the Avenue, and the surrounding Grass seemed to
shine, bouncing back the laughter of several picnicking and playing families. The
Crystal Fountain seemed to be especially excited.

‘Beautiful, isn’t it,’ remarked God.

‘Yes, Maker. But not as Beautiful as Thou.’
Narcissus then took God’s right Hand in his left. God looked at him, still Smiling
as a result of Listening to the Fountain.

God then gave a slight pressure to
Narcissus’ hand and soon let it gently fall away from His Grasp.

‘I’m sorry,’ said God. ‘I respect all
forms of true love but My Ethics prevent me from Loving anyone in particular.
Rather I must Love everyone in general. Fear not, Narcissus, love abounds Here
in Paradise, there is no need to seek the Highest of such. And even if I could
Return your yearning it would soon curdle, removing anything higher to strive
for. I’m sorry.’

Narcissus looked down at his sandals.

‘Must I then return to the love of mine
own image, Maker?’

‘All true love is permitted Here,
Narcissus. If your own image is thine one true love, without causing thee
debasement, then none Here will mock thee for feeling such.’

Narcissus expectantly looked up. ‘I am no
longer young, Maker. This visage of mine is faded and wrinkled. How can I love
that which has turned bitter, that which was once the only meaning of my life?’

God Thought to Himself for a moment, and
then Reached a Conclusion. He Turned to Face Narcissus.

‘Close thine eyes,’ He said. Narcissus
promptly obeyed, and felt two Fingertips Stroke each of each of his closed
eyelids.

‘Now open them and once more gaze upon
thine fine features. Come.’ God led him to the Fountain where Narcissus once
more gazed upon his restored beauty in Its Waters.

He was once more in love.

‘Thank You, Maker,’ he humbly said. ‘Thus
am I content for the rest of time.’

They both then returned from whence they
had come, God inviting Narcissus in for a light meal.

‘No, thank You, Maker. I must learn to
rediscover my beauty in its fullness.’

‘It will last thee abundantly.’

They parted at God’s Front Gate, and God Watched
him leave with a Smile, Glad that the bitter pangs of love had again been annealed
Here in Paradise.

If you've been enjoying Denis' stories here you may also enjoy his debut novel, This Mirror in Me. It tells the story of Tonia Esqurit Ailbe, a mathematics professor, and her unusual manner of making her home a social hub, her life's fundamental aim: sitting at her dressing table mirror and imagining socialising with friends and family. It seems the only way, for one reason or another, that she can achieve her deepest aim. It is available on Kindle at http://amzn.to/1gXGF9h for US $4.14, and via Smashwords, whom cover most of the other ereaders, at http://bit.ly/1k7DEIV for US $3.99. If you don't have a Kindle or other ereader you can download one for free onto your smartphone or tablet.