Signs You Watch Too Much TV

28 Signs You Need To Watch Less TV

Summer’s been great, hasn’t it? We’ve had The Handmaid's Tale, the new season of House of Cards, Love Island and, um, sun, we guess? Yes, many of us have been glued to our screens over the past few weeks and, with all the high-quality series and sport bonanzas out there, it’s really no surprise. But are you watching too much TV? Here’s 28 signs that you might have a problem…

1. You hate summer because there’s “nothing on”.

2. You project characters’ traits onto the poor actors who play them. You’re convinced David Morrissey (aka The Governor from The Walking Dead) is evil, are a bit scared of Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad’s Gus Fring) and will never, ever forgive Brenock O’Connor (Olly from Game Of Thrones, grrr).

3. You’ve blown off your mates in favour of watching TV. Would they risk it all for you like Mike, Lucas and Dustin? Pffft.

4. Netflix constantly asks if you want to "Continue watching?” You usually say yes. Continually. For 16 hours.

5. Friends, family and neighbours look surprised when they see you in the fresh air/standing up.

6. Your sofa’s looking lopsided, with indentations where your arse and head go. Quick, flip the cushions over and nobody will ever know.

7. You’ve collected the whole set of Netflix, Amazon and every other available TV subscription/box going.

8. You’re furious about having to wait for the next episode/season of your favourite drama and refuse to empathise with the notion that TV shows actually take some time to produce.

9. You often flip the TV on “just for a bit of background”.

10. You don’t know anyone else who watches a certain show, so have nobody to discuss it with. Except with your real friends, on the Internet.

11. You can sing/hum along with TV theme tunes and know the regulars on the credits better than the names of people in your office.

12. You bookend the day with TV: an episode of something with breakfast, a binge before bed. Why not finish the day with, you know, an actual book? It’s like TV only papery. Naaaah.

13. You often quote from TV shows and it goes over people’s heads. Like that time you said “Chaos isn’t a pit, it’s a ladder” to your boss and he reported you to HR.

14. You have a special tray so you can eat supper off your lap in front of the TV. You use said tray so often, you've considered storing it by the sofa.

15. When checking into a hotel late one evening, you assume the night manager is a spy.

16. You’ve stared at opening credits and DVD menus so much, you know all the episode titles.

17. The spinning wheel of death and the word “buffering” makes you feel faintly sick.

18. You’re paranoid about #spoilers and think that they should be met with vigilante justice.

19. But you’ve also been known to drop the occasional #spoiler yourself. Unbelievable.