What we do

Apocryphal Press is a news service that blends fantasy with fact—the fantasy predominating. It is firmly based on absurdist principles.

What you can do

Our large editorial staff is pleased to receive feedback of any kind.

Send general comments here, or publish comments on a specific news clip in the form below each clip.

To access the comment form for a news clip, double click the clip's headline, or the "read more" or "Comments" link at the bottom of the clip.

Find and read older clips

Our home page displays our five most-recent news clips. To view a list that includes our older clips, click Sitemap here or
at the bottom of the right column of each page.

In the Sitemap, you'll find all of our news clips listed in reverse chronological order under the "Blog" heading. To open a
clip, double click its page icon or headline.

Site designed and built by

22. January 2016

Denver Man Caves in to East Coast Interests

Sunday’s contest between the New England Patriots and the Denver Broncos, which will determine which team will face the NFC winner in Super Bowl Fifty on February 7, has received a lot of
attention from sports pundits at the national level. They uniformly say that in Sunday’s contest at Mile High Stadium, the Patriots will win because the Broncos’ receivers cannot hold onto
passes.

All this buzz made for some interesting betting among sports fans in Denver. Secret emissaries from the New England Patriots contacted a solitary reporter, urging him to reconnect with his New
England roots, while fervent Broncos supporters reminded him that he has benefited greatly from living in Denver for 43 years.

In the end, the solitary reporter, greatly risking many friendships in Denver, predicted that the Patriots will defeat the Broncos by three points.

Elsewhere, literal gridlock from a huge snowstorm in the Nation’s Capital mirrored the political gridlock there. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told our associate solitary reporter, Lewis
Thompson, that the gridlock for which he is primarily responsible is far preferable to the gridlock which will ensue if either Donald Trump or Ted Cruz is elected president.