Soulful Illumination

Living with Grief

For some people the holidays are really tough and it's hard to pretend that you are in gratitude or happy that the holidays are here.

What do we do; when there has been a loss of something great in your life? Maybe the loss of a loved one, the pain of a relationship that ended, the loss of a beloved furry baby, a home, health, or a job, to name a few. You have a right to feel sadness around these kinds of losses.

Grief is tricky and we all need to deal with it at some point, in our lives. For me I've had all forms of grief in the past few years. It comes up less than it used to, not because I'm over the losses but because there is distance or time from the losses. My mind wanders some days back to the pain, but I'm not stuck in it anymore. It takes as long as it takes, to move on. Everyone grieves differently and in their own time.

What helped me was to feel the feelings, talk about it, move forward and but some days I moved backwards too. Don't put judgments or expectations around it because the last thing you need is a critic in your head! I had lots of support and a wonderful councilor that specialized in Grief to help me through the painful losses in my life.

Let others help you and be open to receive their kindness. Many people won't know how to act around your loss so if they don't offer helpful words or even kindness it is truly about them and where they are. Some people are just not equipped to help you. Even our own families may not be able to support us. Mostly because they are experiencing their own grief around the situation.

What I've learned being on the other side of grief is we are still here for a reason. I miss so much of what is not here anymore. But feel joy for what has taken place in my life for the better. There is a frailty to life that makes it so precious. The balance of the scales, can be tipped one way or another, in just a flash of a moment. Every single day is a gift that we shouldn't take for granted. Be grateful even if it's for the smallest of things, there is always something! Live your life knowing those that aren't with us, really are with us in every breath that we take.

There is a grace and beauty on the other side of grief, that until you get there it's hard understand or even imagine. Faith and hope of a new life that has endless possibilities for us, but if we are stuck in the despair of grief we can miss it. Embrace the new and live your life fearlessly.

Feel your pain and the joy too. We came here to be human which means feeling all of the emotions that there are and sometimes life is messy. Nothing in this life will last forever the pain or the joy, so where ever you are is exactly where you are suppose to be. Reach out to those that suffer but it is up to each person to step from their shadows of grief and sadness. We are responsible for our own well being and happiness period. What I'm saying is we always have a choice, pain is unavoidable but our suffering is optional.