Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Cancer is a hard topic to write or speak about.
People cringe out straight away when they hear the word as it carries the
possibility of the worst. I guess that's why my dad kept his in secret till the
last minute and postponed to share his story for so long even though his one is
a success...but let's start at the very beginning.

What I knew and how I felt about it

When I was 24 years old I lived and worked in the
next big city (Pécs) about 40 minutes bus-ride away from my childhood home and
I spent every other weekend in my parents’ house. One day dad started
complaining about some pain in his testicles, but being a stubborn man who
doesn't like to go to the doctors, he'd just put up with it and tried to dull
it with painkillers. We kept telling him to seek professional advice as the
weeks went by and the pain just got worse. Eventually he went and came home
with no news which seemed to be good news at that point - they did an X-ray but
didn't know what is was, he got some more painkillers and was told to go back
if it gets worse. So if they don't know what's going on, it's all OK, isn't it?
Well, about a month later I just arrived home from work when I got a call from
my dad asking where and how I was and just casually mentioning that ' actually
I'm in Pécs as well. I'm in the hospital, getting an operation in a
minute..." What the @!$£%@!!! What's going on? Why didn't I know
about this? I didn't even have time to ask all my questions, he was so calm and
made it sound like a routine thing, that it made all my worries go and I just
new it'll all be OK. I went to see him after the operation and he told me that
it was cancer, but they didn't know till a few days ago. They decided to
operate him as soon as they could as they waited for too long anyway. But it's
all going to be OK now.

Phew! How lucky is that? - did I think. So life
carried on and although he had to go for a radio therapy, which he told me to
be a precaution to avoid any leftover cancerous cells spreading I felt like
everything went back to normal. The little I knew about the illness and
the procedures and the little time I actually spent at home, the easier it was
to not even get suspicious. I saw only the beginning, how my dad gets a bit
tired sometimes and really sensitive to all smells and fragrances due to the
therapy and very, very agitated by them. But my mom and he were acting so
normal. The only change I noticed that my mom had moved the coffee maker in the
conservatory so my dad wouldn’t smell it...the coffee he used to love and drink
every day. After I decided to move to the UK in November 2005, I knew literally
nothing about this as they never mentioned it, when we were talking on Skype or
writing e-mails. I even visited home in April the following year but still not
suspected anything. Sometimes I wonder how I could be so naive...or ignorant?
Mind you my dad has always been quick tempered, (as was I) so the mood-swings
he had didn't get me suspicious at all.

Another year went by and I was working loads to
pay my student loan back, so I didn't even make it back home until everything
was almost fine again. He once just started talking about wheatgrass and how he
thinks it’s a wonderful thing and wants to start growing it on a bigger scale.
It was a bit strange as he had never been into farming before – that was rather
my mom’s territory. He built a website (he is a self educated programmer along
with so many things he's been doing in his life) and as the months went by they
were sticking to the project. By the time they have admitted to me that he did
have a secondary cancer in his tummy, had two unsuccessful sessions of radio
therapy but my mom convinced him to start drinking wheatgrass and a within a
year his tumour was gone - it didn't really cause any pain whatsoever...I got
very puzzled how it could all go down without me knowing, but I was very happy
that he is all well and healthy so I didn't bother with the rest of the
details. My dad's a survival, he got
through cancer and that's all that matters.

The facts

It took my dad a couple of years to share his detailed story on-line
(http://www.xn--bzafl-fsa8i56b.hu/index.php?page=magamrol).

It took me even more to actually read it - only
dared earlier on this year - and I was balling my eyes out. I still get really
emotional when I think about all the pain and suffering and confusion he must
have gone through - we never talk about this for obvious reasons. He kept
everything in secret to prevent his daughters from suffering (I have two
younger sisters), he's not going to moan about it later either, he's just not
that type of person.

So it was true that the first time he turned up
at the doctors, they didn't recognize the cancer - no comment. A month later
when he got worse they sent him along with the month-old result to the bigger
hospital in Pécs (where I lived at the time), where they decided to operate him
ASAP. I don't think he even had time to realize the seriousness of it either it
all happened so fast. So fast that he couldn't even get an appointment for the
heart testing, that is normal procedure before operation to determine whether
he is in danger - no comment again.

It was also true that the primary reason for the
radio therapy was meant to be a precaution but along the planning process they
found the secondary tumour (approx. 4cm) in the abdominal area, so they carried
out the treatment concentrating on that. After the first session and the
following 6 weeks waiting period there came the time of truth when he got the
result of his checkups - the tumour hasn't reacted at all. Decision: let's try
again, this time even stronger. I'm not going to go in detail with all the side
effects that it caused, but it was unfortunately all for nothing as the second
round was just as useless as the first. So the obvious next step in modern
medicine is chemo therapy, but my dad has always been against this treatment.
According to him nobody who he ever knew survived this treatment, therefore he
refused to have it. I'm sure there are more advanced solutions nowadays than 10
years ago, but I would probably still do the same today. I'm not going to encourage
anyone to follow his steps; it's everybody's own choice. He didn't do it to prove
anything to anyone; he most probably was just simply petrified and felt that
accepting the therapy would be equivalent to suicide.

What else is there to do after you refuse
professional help? They obviously were very shocked and thought my dad went
crazy, but couldn't say anything else apart from "Well, come back for a
check up every two months." Later on the doctors added that after
consultation they reconsidered his options and decided that the chemo wouldn't
have helped anyway after the two radio therapy sessions. (Thank God he didn't
do it then!!)

This was the time when my mom started talking
about wheatgrass, which we (mom, me and my two sisters) were already very
familiar with. But my dad has always been picky about his food so he never
touched it before. After doing his research on the internet about its benefits
he gave in and started drinking it every day, since he felt he had nothing to
lose.

So there it was, the time of the first check up
after 2 months and the results were unbelievable: the tumour got smaller. After
another two months they noted further shrinkage. The doctors were very proud of
themselves and explained it as the result of the previous treatments (Yeah –
whatever). So it went on every time he had to go for his scans until the fourth
time (that was over 8 months already gone without any medical treatment), when
the lump reached 10mm, which professionally is not classed as tumour anymore,
so his check up period's were lengthened to 6 months.

Somewhere along the line, when my
dad realised his recovery must be the effect of the wheatgrass, he decided to
build the website to spread the word, to give hope to other people too. He
always says, he also changed his diet, had less red meat, drank a little good
quality homemade red wine and ate garlic every day just be utterly honest, but
he truly believes eventually the wheatgrass saved his life. For the last few
years he had been in contact with several people who were in similar shoes,
many of those have also had similar success implementing this juice in
their diets.