Alright, gamers, this is the one Shuffle Up that matters the most. If you could consistently figure out the fickle sighs and signs of these sirens, everything else would be a breeze.

Our goal is to rank all the roto-relevant starting pitchers for the rest of 2013, thinking 5x5 value in a mixed league. The prices are used for comparison tools; don't worry about the numbers in a vacuum. Players at the same cost are considered even.

I'll add commentary later today and I welcome your intelligent disagreement. Win the debate, win the rank. But remember to support your dissent, and never forget the golden rule of roto: a player doesn't gain (or lose) 15-20 percent of bonus value simply because you're rostering him.

Although Scherzer's K/9 rate has dipped a little bit, it's still elite - and his strikeout percentage (a better meter) has actually gone up. That's what efficiency will do for you, not to mention the additional dip in his walk numbers. Mad Max used to be the king of the 5-6 inning start, big strikeouts but a pile of no decisions. That's no longer a problem; he's just under seven innings on average for his 12 starts. Welcome to the big time, kid. You're a stealth Cy Young contender . . . Iwakuma has turned into my favorite American League watch, a mix of control, decisiveness, missed bats and pitching environment (no matter what they do to the Safeco dimensions, they can't touch the marine layer). Here's what Iwakuma has done since the Mariners put him in the rotation: 29 starts, 14-5 record, 2.31 ERA, 1.04 WHIP, 157 strikeouts against 41 walks. If you're still waiting around for proof, you're missing a helluva game.

You don't win friends with salad, unless it's a Cobb salad. It's been a glorious year for him, moving the strikeout and walk numbers where we want them, getting more swinging strikes, surviving nicely despite the AL East environment (stil the best place for scoring in the majors). Cobb's ground-ball rate is also a beautiful thing, checking in at 57.6 percent. His strand rate is going to come down at some point, but he's also been unlucky with the HR/FB clip - call that a wash. Life under the catwalk also hides a few mistakes. Enjoy the ride.

Medlen has commanded his curve a little better in his last couple of starts, so maybe he's back in the SP3 discussion. But obviously he doesn't have knockdown stuff if he's forced to work in the zone regularly. Life in the NL East helps the cause, where there isn't one opponent with a scary offense. It's the lowest scoring division in baseball, by far.

Here's the thing with Wheeler and Cole: it's all about the K/9 rate and K/BB rate. I don't care about the ERA. Cole is hardly striking anyone out and his K/BB rate is well under 2 - that's a pass for me. Maybe he's bored, maybe he's tinkering, but I can't grab him on spec. Conversely, Wheeler has that pretty strikeout clip over one per inning, so I'll go to war with him right away in any sort of mixer (despite the messy supporting cast around him) . . . Porcello could get interesting if this strikeout clip over the last month is a sign of legitimate growth. He came up early and struggled for a while, but he's still just 24 . . . Nolasco is starting to tease us again, though the supporting cast is horrid. How many times is he going to be favored? Wins are random, but I'll take my chances on the Cardinals and Rangers and Tigers over the dregs of the league.