Episode 3

This week we were given some of Bachelorville's rarest treats. First was a sighting of producer Élan Gale:

Watching him scurry out of the camera's view really brought back fond memories. During filming, I literally called the producers "cloaks", referring to the Harry Potter invisibility cloak. Fun fact: The producers always avoid being on camera because any footage with them can't be used (almost never, anyway) and is therefore useless. It's not uncommon to see the producers scooting and dodging around to be out of view. For me, I never felt comfortable with the cameras and would avoid them whenever possible, and so would strategically chat with producers—the cloaks—to ensure the camera crew would quickly lose interest in me. It sadly didn't take long before they said, "Okay, Sharleen, scat. We know what you're doing. Get back out there." And I would begrudgingly rejoin the day's activities. (LIFE IS SO DIFFICULT.)

The other was another genius collaboration with a comedian—I loved the Jimmy Kimmel episode last season—and who better to step up to the plate than the one and only Amy Schumer?

Her whole segment had me laughing non-stop. The girl is FUNNY. (Also, as some of you may know I recently did an interview with Amy for her Comedy Central show, Inside Amy Schumer. I could pretty much die happy after being asked to do that.)

BEST DRESSED

No huge strides in the men's fashion department this week, though I really liked Ian's group date cocktail party ensemble...

Confession: I totally have a thing for men's cardigans. It took me almost a year to convince my man to get a cardigan and I still consider it one of my greatest contributions to his wardrobe. Ian looks both handsome and cozy. He pulls this look off very well.

My best dressed this week was Ben Z with his Rose Ceremony suit:

I like the basic color palette and the checkered shirt. My favorite thing, though, is definitely the matte (!) grey (pewter?) tie clip. Very nice.

WORST DRESSED

I get that Tony is eccentric and marches to the beat of his own drum, but this look is not good...

I'd like to think he wore it ironically but I don't really get the self-aware, ironic fashion statement vibe from him. Plus, I have a practically issue with pairing a puffy vest (regardless of whether or not it has the stars and stripes on it) with an outfit if it's apparently warm enough out to be wearing flip-flops.

I was not into Chris Harrison's eyesore of a shirt...

Terrible shade of purple aside, this shirt doesn't even make any sense! I mean, the zippers are obviously a disaster, particularly since (again, being a stickler for practicality) there is NO way you'd ever PUT anything in those particular pockets. But what's with the slit pockets above the zipper pockets? Did he need more pockets on his chest to not utilize?? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE POCKETS.

At first glance, Kupah, this week's greatest fashion offender, has done no wrong...

BUT WAIT. Upon closer inspection...

What the..... Are those suspenders? Hung down and not in use? I could maybe wrap my mind around suspenders making a comeback, but that would have to be in a situation where they were actually, I don't know, holding up pants? Like, suspending pants the way their name implies? You've heard me go off about practicality already, so just imagine my issues on this one. 😞

KAITLYN'S LOOKS

Kaitlyn's first outfit got little airtime but I was swooning over it...

I love the simplicity of the single tier and that perfect olive shade. It's one of those colors that brings out the green in your eyes (Kaitlyn's being no exception). And with that oversized watch? The whole thing is simplicity, perfected.

Kaitlyn's exact tiered olive dress sells here (I must confess I've bought one for myself already). I'm pretty sure at this point everyone already owns a gold oversized watch, but in case you missed the memo, it sells here.

Her boxing date cocktail party outfit was a win for me...

You know by now I love plunging necklines and jumpsuits, so this being a favorite was a given. Not everyone can get away with a neckline this daring and she pulls it off effortlessly. I think the scene-stealers, however, were her GORGEOUS rings. Seriously, she was kissing Jared and all I could think was, "Yes! Zoom in on the rings!"

Her exact black jumpsuit still sells here, and there's a similar bar belt here. The rings Kaitlyn wore are real, but here are some wallet-friendly alternatives... Snake: here, here, and here (and in my search I found this which I'm kind of obsessed with); Crisscross: here.

The girl rivals Andi Dorfman in the white jeans department. They look SO good on her. Her vibrant but simple cami makes the outfit. And do I spy a non-down hairdo...? I do! Finally!!! That braid is great.

I confess wasn't a huge fan of her dinner date outfit with Clint...

I'm not really sure why, honestly. I think maybe it's the fact that the print appears as a bandeau tube top on top of a long-sleeved black top? I don't mind the skirt alone (the print is loud so less is more) and would have preferred it with a just a plain black (preferably oversized sweater).

I really liked Kaitlyn's outfit for the stand-up group date...

I love that her tank is simple yet has interest. Same goes for her gold-accented black booties. Effortless rocker-chic.

That evening, however...

I hate to say "hate", but... I hate this dress. I'm sure it's some expensive designer of sorts, but it just looks so cheap. I love sequins. I love animal prints. But if you're going to marry the two it had better be SO muted and understated. This dress looks like something you'd see at da club.

Finally, Kaitlyn's Rose Ceremony gown...

... is simply stunning. I love this dress. The cutouts, the sequins and beading, and that RING. But, two things: First, I reeeeally wish she'd worn her hair up. It's a backless gown! Her hair looks the same as it did on almost every other date. I just wish it had a little oomph (an updo, please!) to keep up with the drama of the dress. Second, while I LOVE this dress, it's a hair too similar to last week's Night One dress. Because I love them both, my only wish there is that she'd have spread their appearances apart a bit more. (The most similar I could find to her ring: here and here)