“I was stuck between a rock and an aneurysm,” he wrote, when the woman he moved to New York for connected him to an agency. “If I’d said no, she would have lost respect for me. If I’d said yes, I’d have to take the meeting.”

In what the 49-year-old describes as “a spectacular fall morning,” the then-aspiring actor walked into the agency and recalled “taking swift swigs [of water] to cover my tremors” while talking to the agent.

The “Rough Night” star walked out with the advice that he could “maybe” get work in theater if he shaved his arms.

“They’re pretty hairy,” the agent said, who also recommended he get new headshots.

“I shook his hand, walked out into Times Square and soiled myself,” he recalled. “I stood there for a surprisingly long time before I realized what had happened. ”

Without mentioning the exact location where he took care of the messy situation, he alludes to going to a McDonald’s restroom.

“I spotted the golden arches across Times Square the way I imagine immigrants spotted the Statue of Liberty. There I threw my underwear in the garbage. I now had no underwear and, bizarrely, none of the anxiety I had felt mere moments before.”

He took the experience as a sign, though, summarizing it “as if I had taken the worst of the business, swallowed it, digested it, discharged it and thrown it away,” he said.