Forget "Sex and the City". Welcome to "Booze and the Valley"! DISCLAIMER: No names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Do what now? Wednesday

Who doesn't love a good weight loss blog? This will be a blog filled with emotional highs and lows, intrigue, delusion, betrayal, and failed mechanics.

Dear Diary: I stepped on the scale today, and I'm down to 148.5 pounds. I almost cried! Hard work pays off, and I can lose more than a pound a week!! I'm hungry. Weigh In Wednesday will be great!

Dear Diary: OMG. Today I stepped on the scale, and I weigh 146.5 pounds! Holy crap! Life is amazing! I feel thin. My ass is totally smaller. I feel like my thighs are melting away. This weigh in will totally help out my team! I'm sore. Vegetables and soy patty again? Bleh.

Dear @$#&*!! Diary: WTF?? It's Wednesday. I step on the scale, and guess what? Hellooo...no I DO NOT weigh 120 pounds! Well, maybe, it's possib- NO, Sarah, NO. That scale is not working. Ok, no biggie....calmly go to the ghetto bathroom scale. Step on, exhale to lose all possible ounces...uh...crap, I can't read the little lines. I'm not on the big line, so that's good. Is it one or two little lines left of the big line? Do I ask the chick working? "Hi, uh, I have a weigh in tonight, and I'm getting old, and I can't see that far down, can you read the scale for me? And after that, will you please fix that other scale? Oh, and uh, sorry about that hole in the wall...behind the scale....that's a piece of crap."

I just love that you put "the end" when you finished your blog. You are very funny. Keep it going woman, you will get there. I could send a letter with some strep in it for you. That is the only way I lost anything this week. Popsicle diets are yum!

Body weight fluctuates a bit what with liquids and foods going in and out...

Well it's time for emotional support and uplifting motivational speaches! The problem: I don't have one prepared. I have a habit of stealing my friends palm cards when it comes to speaches... I did that once. I didn't use them I just wanted his palm cards because they were really cool looking. I also got my friend to stand up right next to me and... well just stand. Probably gave me emotional support. It confused everyone as to what was going on. I myself was uncertain as to why I had invited her to the front of the class... ahhh life is full of funny things when you have something to get past those mental barriers... like those mental barriers preventing you from sticking with it! Come on you can do it! Just keep going at it and start stealing things!.... I mean... Just keep going! Yay! Victory is yours.