Monthly Archives: August 2015

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Pizzeria Beddia's hours are wonky, its menu is limited, it's cash only, you can only order in person, and you have to wait about 30 minutes for your order, as Mr. Beddia makes pizzas to order and only has one oven.

I'm a poor judge of pizza – all pizza satisfies me – but Jesse said that Pizzeria Beddia's pizza was the best pizza that he's ever eaten in Philadelphia, and he's a native.

// WASHINGTON, D.C

My train gate at Union Station is always opposite this store.

AMERICA! has a 25-year track record as a leading, destination-themed specialty retailer. [source]

We offer home décor and our exclusive collection of Commander-in-Chief® and First Lady® merchandise. [source]

That's the second person I've seen today wearing a "keep calm/computer science" shirt.

Jon: Heh. The house across the street from yours… 1738.

Drew: I'm chuffed to bits to have air conditioning again. Every soul in this house was going mad. Michelle and I fought about a washcloth earlier today.

Air conditioning is on? Is it under 20 mattresses?

Drew: I was worried about my kombuchas spoiling.

Jon Wilcox is making his own ice creams, Drew is making his own kombuchas – I feel so un-artisanal.

Drew: Jesse and I are joining a Dungeons and Dragons group.Jon: [pause]

Jon: You know, when you first identified yourself as a nerd to me, I was unconvinced, but then you go do something like this.

Drew: You ever play Dungeons and Dragons?Jon: No.Drew: I played when I was in fifth grade. Then other interests/pursuits drew me away – sports, having sex with girls… But I've been there, done that now, so…Jon: Circle of life.

Jon: The A.V. Club commenters don't bother you?Molly: Naw. A.V. Club comments are nothing. My personal phone number was attached to gossip columns I wrote for the Daily News. Strangers would call me in the middle of the night, assuming I wouldn't answer.

Drew: If Toro is chilling on the bed in the spare bedroom, feel free to kick him off/out.

I finish brushing my teeth and the dog – a large, pitbull breed – is indeed chilling on the bed. I shrug and lie down to his left.

I wake up in the middle of the night to find myself spooning the dog.

Drew: This throwback hip-hop radio station plays so much Ja Rule.

I'm buying a vacuum cleaner with Philadelphia's best bartender.

Jesse: I'm gonna pair this vacuum with an ice-cold Budweiser.

Jon: "EscapeThe1980s.com"?Drew: It's an '80s-themed "escape the room" attraction. Some children beta-tested it and were stumped by a VHS cassette, which you're supposed to play in a VCR.

Michelle: Thanks for reminding me to cancel Amazon Prime. I signed up for the free trial because I desperately wanted a compost bin.

"Do please tell Frederick if you see him, I wish a speedy convalescence, and I hope he won't be very ugly." (Hannibal, S03E13)

"You died in my kitchen, Alana, when you chose to be brave. Every moment since is borrowed. Your wife, your child, they belong to me. You made a bargain for Will's life, and then I spun you gold." (Hannibal, S03E13)

"My compassion for you is inconvenient, Will." (Hannibal, S03E13)

"Save yourself, kill them all." (Hannibal, S03E13)

Siouxsie Sioux wrote an original song for the finale (Hannibal, S03E13)

J: Hey, when are you scheduled to fly home from New York City?Jon: Next Monday.J: Can you fly to Los Angeles instead? I need you here.Jon: For how long?J: Indefinitely? When is TIFF? Can you fly to Toronto from Los Angeles?Jon: What? No. I can't be on the road for five weeks straight! I only packed for one week.

I negotiated my time in Los Angeles down to "until Labor Day weekend."

In the latter months of my time living in Chicago with Jord and Jon Wilcox, Jord began making videos with this group of local comedians, and I didn't think much of it. Then I retreated back to Silicon Valley, and…

Jon Wilcox: It's wild that T.J. Miller, Kumail, and Thomas Middleditch used to hang out in my living room.

I befriended Jord and Jon Wilcox via their E/N website, and I befriended Ben via his music blog.

While Ben drove me to Jon Wilcox's flat in Washington, D.C….

Jon: Ishmail? From [the websites] Punogre/Armegro? How do you know him?Ben: He caught me DJ-ing, tweeted at me, and we subsequently became friends. I stayed with him in Los Angeles once.Jon: Huh.

I type this from Philadelphia in the spare bedroom of Drew's house. I befriended Drew via his blog.

She gives facials in a cheap beauty salon. He makes subtitles for pirated DVDs. They find a soulmate in each other. But their love is threatened to a tragic end when she stumbles upon evidence of a corruption case linked to a presidential candidate's closest aides.

[pause]

Airlines should display a real-time seating chart at boarding gates that allows you to see which seats are still available and the ages of the people who will be sitting around you.

On my flight to Washington, D.C. was a stroller-pushing father wearing an Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Group shirt.

Alvin and the Chipmunks, American Football

Idea: A parody of "All Day" by Kanye West about Old Bay Seasoning.

Idea: A parody of "All Day" by Kanye West about breakfast being served all day.

1629 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, DC 20036
Where I lost my Chipotle virginity. Summer 2002. While visiting J.A. in Washington, D.C., he pointed out a restaurant named Chipotle and praised its chips and guacamole. We later met up with Seth Freedland and Josh Karlin-Resnick from high school here. Adam Riff™, this website's namesake, was supposed to join us, but, to my disappointment, he had returned home already.

244 S Beverly Dr, Beverly Hills, CA 90212
There is a Chipotle in Westwood now, but when I was in college, we had to drive to Beverly Hills to eat at Chipotle, and only after Chipotle finally expanded into Los Angeles.

1733 N Damen Ave, Chicago, IL 60647
Needless to say, when I moved to Chicago, I was elated to discover a Chipotle near our duplex. Here I honed my go-to order at Chipotle – burrito, white rice, no beans, fajita veggies, chicken, all four salsas, sour cream, cheese, no guacamole, no lettuce.

2400 Charleston Rd, Mountain View, CA 94043
At my last job, I began staying after work on Fridays to create the following week's Cribsheet for this website, alone and undisturbed in the office, and then eating a late dinner at this Chipotle. Same routine almost every Friday for about a year – perhaps not the wisest use of my 20s.

504 6th Ave, New York, NY 10011
When I lived in Manhattan, our flat was just around the corner from a Chipotle – the closest I have ever lived to a Chipotle. I ate dinner at this Chipotle every Sunday, periodically ordering a cup for soda¹, which I would take home, wash, and dry on the dish rack. Then, when I craved pop, instead of buying some, I would grab a cup or two from my stack of used Chipotle soda cups at home, walk to this Chipotle, and fill up discreetly. And when dining here, I snuck in used cups via a backpack.

¹ I ordered a cup for soda periodically to replace deteriorating used cups.

Adam Robot: I learned that a Chipotle was opening in Billings from you.

DJ Premier: I went to Moscow earlier this year to work with, like, the top producer in Moscow. The pitch was for me to get with a Russian producer, to use Russian samples and music, and then to have MF Doom rap on it.

When we were about to head out to Moscow, MF Doom fell ill and wasn't able to come out. I'm like, "Well, who are you going to get to replace him?" He said, "We're going to get a singer instead of a rapper, Anderson .Paak." [source]

Straight outta Moscow.

When not performing, [David Copperfield] manages his chain of eleven islands in the Bahamas, called "Musha Cay and the Islands of Copperfield Bay," which completed a $35 million renovation under Copperfield's supervision. [source]

Why is "David Copperfield managing a chain of islands in the Bahamas" not a television programme?

"Guys are annoying. All they want to do is eat Chipotle." (Total Divas, S04E05)

Deutschland 83 Season Grade: C

"I don't like Squidbillies, daddy." (Rectify, S03E05)

Zero reaction for Craig Kilborn (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 08-06-15)

"You're the bride of Frankenstein."
"We've…both been his bride." (Hannibal, S03E10)

"My relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours. You are here visiting an old flame." (Hannibal, S03E10)

"You are capable of righteous violence because you are compassionate."
"How are you capable?"
"Extreme acts of cruelty require a high level of empathy. The next time you have an instinct to help someone, you might consider crushing them instead." (Hannibal, S03E10)

PopStars w/ Emilie Baltz and Dan Deacon
Dan Deacon provides the sweet sounds for this lickable popsicle orchestra imagined by experiential artist & storyteller, Emilie Baltz. Join them on stage to help bring this concept to life, one lick at a time.