A new catechism released by a coalition of several progressive, mainline denominations Tuesday consists solely of 107 questions, without a single answer to any of them, sources confirmed.

Liberal priests, scholars, and ministers from mainline Episcopal, Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian traditions gathered to pound out the document full of bold theological questions that they then refuse to answer in any way.

The catechism will allow progressive Christians to memorize several new questions each week of the year, but will not oppress believers with any “toxic” concrete answers.

“What is our only hope in life and death? Seriously, anybody know?” question #1 reads, setting the tone for the remainder of the document.

Other thought-provoking questions in the teaching tool include the following:

Q2: What is God? Anyone? Bueller?

Q84: What does every sin deserve, other than unquestioning, breathless affirmation?

Q86: What is faith in Jesus Christ? Did he even exist? What does it all mean?

Q107: What if we’re all just part of a big video game simulation, bro?

During a vape break at the conference, one episcopal priest told journalists, “We want God’s people to follow Her with deeds, not creeds. This teaching guide is perfect for clergy that want their congregations to ask the big ‘God’ questions, without ever providing any kind of solid answer to any of them.” She further stated that the document will encourage the “spirit of doubt” that Christ wanted His people to develop in their spiritual walk.

“After all, isn’t that what it’s all about?” she added as she took an pensive puff of her avocado-flavored vaping fluid. “Seriously, is it? I have no idea.”

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We learn from the state-register of March 13, 1559, that romance-reading was altogether prohibited in Geneva. It is said:—“Inasmuch as many persons are in the habit of reading Amadis de Gaule, which contains much that is licentious and wicked, let them be gravely admonished, and let the said book be abolished and destroyed.” Shortly after Calvin’s time, Henry Stephens was excommunicated and imprisoned, because he had written a dissolute book. In conclusion, we refer to a little work entitled ‘The Life of the Christian, and a View of Eternal Life,’ as affording a further proof of Calvin’s spiritual feelings, and care for souls. – Paul Henry

Indeed, those romance novels are nasty. And gross. Some books need to be banned. Not Brunner’s or Bultmann’s by any means, but we can all agree that NT Wright’s definitely need to be.

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Right on the heels of Donald Trump’s Twitter-firing of Rex Tillerson as secretary of state Tuesday, the National Weather Service announced the rapid formation of a devastating category 5 hurricane originating from the furiously spinning revolving door located at the front of the White House.

“Hurricane Donald coalesced very quickly right above the White House as a result of the extremely violent rotation of the front revolving door, as employees are joining and leaving the Trump administration at a frenetic pace. Take shelter immediately,” a NWS spokesman said in an emergency breaking news transmission. “If White House turnover doesn’t quiet down, I fear we’re going to be seeing many more of these weather patterns on the East Coast, so we need to be prepared.”

At publishing time, excited scientists have confirmed that the planet has now entered a cooling trend, again due to powerful winds created by the White House revolving door.

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A school resource officer accidentally fired his gun inside a middle school in Alexandria, Virginia, Tuesday morning, police say. No one was hurt. The officer was inside his office at George Washington Middle School in the Del Ray neighborhood when he accidentally discharged his service weapon about 9:10 a.m., according to Alexandria police.

Ugh. And more to come if the madness of the ‘arm the teachers’ movement really does what the NRA wants it to do. Don’t fall for the bogus ‘more guns make us safer’ argument of the mentally deficient. More guns don’t make you safer any more than more cancer cells make you healthier.

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” I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy, For You have considered my trouble; You have known my soul in adversities, And have not shut me up into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a wide place. Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am in trouble; My eye wastes away with grief, Yes, my soul and my body!” (Ps. 31:7-9)

U.S. Marshals arrested Rodriguez-Miranda in Bay City, Michigan, in late September after police caught wind that she aimed to kill her infant niece by putting pain relief medication in a bottle of breast milk. Authorities alleged then that Rodriguez-Miranda was angry that her brother, his fiance and their daughter had been staying with her and her mother at their Fort Wayne home, and that her mother had agreed to allow them to stay longer.

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The word that came to Jeremiah from Yahweh, ‘Hear the terms of this covenant; tell them to the people of Judah and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem. Tell them, “Yahweh, God of Israel, says this: Cursed be anyone who will not listen to the terms of this covenant which I ordained for your ancestors when I brought them out of Egypt, out of that iron-foundry. Listen to my voice, I told them, carry out all my orders, then you will be my people and I shall be your God, so that I may fulfil the oath I swore to your ancestors, that I may give them a country flowing with milk and honey, as is the case today.” ‘ I replied, ‘So be it, Yahweh!’

Then Yahweh said to me, ‘Proclaim all these terms in the towns of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, saying, “Listen to the terms of this covenant and obey them. For when I brought your ancestors out of Egypt, I solemnly warned them, and have persistently warned them until today, saying: Listen to my voice. But they did not listen, did not pay attention; instead, each followed his own stubborn and wicked inclinations. And against them, in consequence, I put into action the words of this covenant which I had ordered them to obey and which they had not obeyed.” ‘

Yahweh said to me, ‘Plainly there is conspiracy among the people of Judah and the citizens of Jerusalem. They have reverted to the sins of their ancestors who refused to listen to my words: they too are following other gods and serving them. The House of Israel and the House of Judah have broken my covenant which I made with their ancestors. And so, Yahweh says this, “I shall now bring a disaster on them which they cannot escape; they will call to me for help, but I shall not listen to them.

The towns of Judah and the citizens of Jerusalem will then go and call for help to the gods to whom they burn incense, but these will be no help at all to them in their time of distress! “For you have as many gods as you have towns, Judah! You have built as many altars to Shame, as many incense altars to Baal, as Jerusalem has streets! “You, for your part, must not intercede for this people, nor raise either plea or prayer on their behalf, for I will not listen when their distress forces them to call to me for help.” (Jer. 11:1-14 NJB)