I Never Get to Hump

Kottentail Review

There is a horror film for every holiday imaginable at this point. Why should Easter be any different, right? Oddly enough, however, I have never seen any of the myriad of killer rabbit flicks out there. I wanted to change that this year, so I hunted down a copy of Tony Urban’s half-man half-rabbit film, Kottentail.

The members of an animal rights group, the Women for the Liberation of Caged Animals, break into the Overlook Animal Research Laboratory to free the helpless animals being tested on. They weren’t aware of the exact tests being run on the only animal they found, however. Lonely farmer, Hans Kottentail, is the unlucky one who got to find out, as he is transformed into a giant killer rabbit from a simple bite from the lab’s specimen. After the mutation is complete, Kottentail goes on a killing spree, hopping from victim to victim, ripping apart anyone who gets in his way.

Kottentail is as low budget as a film can get. There isn’t any astonishing camera or lighting work to speak of and the acting is as bad as you’d expect with the exception of a couple of actors (one being former Playboy Playmate and ex-girlfriend of Hugh Hefner, Bridget Marquardt). Additionally, the sets were very bare with the same room serving as both the Department of Animal Control and the research laboratory. Hell, they didn’t even use a real rabbit; I was forced to watch a stuffed animal in a cage for the first 10 minutes of the film.

Even with all of those flaws, this no-budget flick wasn’t all bad. Writer and director, Tony Urban, was able to supplement his seemingly non-existent funds with a comic-like style of transitioning between scenes, helping to narrate the story as it unfolded. On top of that, the design of our silly-on-paper monster was actually pretty damn cool. Even with a simple mask, little prosthetic make-up, and Halloween store blood, Urban and costume designer, Same Crane, were able to make a pretty impressive creature. I can only imagine how menacing the six-foot-tall rabbit would look if proper [horror film] lighting and shadowing were involved.

Overall, Kottentail is not a very good movie, but strangely enough, it is still far from the worst I’ve ever seen. If you are skipping church and the family gathering, getting together with your buddies instead, give this one a watch. It has cute girls running around in bunny suits, nudity, and a pretty kick-ass killer rabbit, and will provide you with a few chuckles.