Thursday, May 20, 2004

Announcing Andy Kaufman's National Starbucks and Wal-Mart Tour

What I did broke the trust of a lot of people in this country, not to mention many close friends and family members. I will never again be able to gain back that trust. Not even after public appearances or even DNA testing. Some will always have their doubts. I don't care about those people anymore.

I care about my fans, the ones who understood my rare form of comedy meets performance art spectacle. That's why I'm going to give back to you guys only, and tour the country appearing unexpectedly at local Starbucks and Wal-Marts.

I've been working on a lot of new characters these last twenty years, which I may be disguised as:- aging comedy legend who still thinks everyone recognizes him- hippie turned yuppie guy in suit, now with bad coke habit- aging fat and bald guy who thinks he is god's gift to women- black turtleneck wearing pseudo-intellectual anti-war nerd-chic guy- and more.

The tour begins TODAY! Be sure to tell your friends and alert the local media when you spot me!

Good to have you back. Just wanted to inform you your gambling debts are now at 4.649.345 dollars and rising every week. Better pay up pal. Or you'll be sleeping with the fishes for real. Pay through this front Every week you don't pay, you lose a limp. Now that's funny, heh?

Anybody that's buying this weak effort (for example Zmuda is well known to have done the Clifton character for the 20th anniversary gig and you can find these pics EASILY on other legit sites), needs to get a life.

This isn't about DNA tests or the truth. It's only about whether the person steering the ship can continue to entertain. I never heard anyone complain about current day Bugs Bunny for instance, when we all know it's not the same person portraying Bugs. Let Andy the character be resurrected, not the namesake. Whoever is steering, I hope you pull it off. That's what matters, not the truth.

All those characters and stunts ARE the real andy. That's his mind poured out into the public with no filtration, and as a result is a more pure form of getting to know someone... just absorb their mind as they pour it out to you uncensored. It doesn't matter if this is andy, because it was spawned or inspired by andy, and he is always changing. Its only fitting that he changes who he is so radically that we can barely recognize him from his influence anymore. You have only 2 choices: like it or don't like it... but then again, andy couldn't care less if you liked it or not... cause he's andy.

oh any by the way, I spotted you or one of your characters abuot 42 times in the past 4 days since those people (your new personalities) are EVERYWHERE. Yeah I saw Andy K. as the cocaine addicted ex-hippie yuppy at Starbucks... in fact there were 4 of you waiting in line behind each other when I got there. lol.

You know this "new" 55 year old Andy Kaufman is decidedly boring! I haven't seen anything on this site which reflects the personality I remember. Sorry Andy, but you seem, well, rather dull and uninteresting. Not one single post you've made has even made me smile. Quite hard to believe from someone who would do absolutely anything to elicit a response from people. There's certainly a lack of genius here.

Also, I happen to know people who knew Andy and I've emailed you asking you about specific situations they mentioned to me. I'm still waiting to hear back from you.

Also: How did you manage to mess up your own press release? That doesn't make a single bit of sense why YOU would make mistakes... unless this was some stupid hoax and you didn't realize that everyone in showbizland writes their own press releases (that's what a press release is!).

I reserve my skepticism and I still don't see anything approaching proof. Certainly no press releases from Lyn or Bob. But of course, it's the type of thing they'd become involved in if they thought they'd get a reaction for the sake of Andy.

We need photographic evidence, here Andy! I wholeheartedly want to believe that you're back, but honestly, any schmuck can dress up as Tony Clifton. Zmuda's been doing that for years. Surely you have a webcam or something. Just snap a quick pic.

Hey Andy, you taught me so much, like how to use soap, and toliet paper. I to want to be from Hollywood one day just like you. But my mom can kick yer arse lad, just thought you should know. If andy really did do this and if this is for real, he faked his death because he was afraid to face my mom in a steel cage match. Well Andy she is still out there, and she is waiting for you, and that intergender belt. Glad to see you finally got the moxie to come out of hiding to face yer whuppin like a man. You name the place and time and my mom will wrassle you into the ground. You are gonna wish you stayed dead, Mr. Hollywood. That being said, anybody have any salt?

Attention Kmart Shoppers, now in Isle 7 .....sadly we'll never hear this, because didn't Kmart go out of business?

But this does have a chance to become a part of american folk history, a la elvis. andy kaufman travelling the country, making odd appearances at local coffeshops, small time bars, strip malls, all the while driving around the country in a winnebago.

"Most important, if the Andy Kaufman I remember — the brilliant, unpredictable, erratic, and unique comic genius — had finally emerged from hiding twenty years after faking his own death, I have no doubts that he'd find a much more imaginative way of revealing his return than a free press release and a rather ordinary blog."

Aw come on now! Braking the trust of a lot of people in THIS country just puts you on par with the current Administration, if anything ;) Seems like nobody minds that these days.

This is rather Kaufman-esque, if anything, so people should enjoy it for the wonderful, oddball stuff the Net brings.

However, its not hard to resent an attention whore who might be waiting for the publicity when they reveal who they really are.

Of course, if you don't give real evidence to being Andy, its rather silly to expect intelligent or skeptical people to take you seriously. After all, we don't hear any of "Andy's" friends hooting and hollering about a "return", do we? Even if they were in on a "prank", that would be a nice touch.

Why does anyone care if it's really him or not? What's the point of all the nasty names?

Zmuda and Lynne took out full-page ads to remind Andy of the date, and his promise to them, right? Everything they've done in the past 20 years, everything that Andy did in the 35 years before that, what was the point of it all? What was the point of Andy Kaufman's life?

Have fun.

So maybe this isn't really him. Maybe it is. But either way, I'm still smiling.

He's having fun. And because he's having fun, I am too. I wish that you could all, for just one second, let yourselves have fun with this.

Because somewhere in this world or the next, Andy Kaufman is laughing his ass off.

Dude, best prank EVER!!!! "You died" when I was just a month old, so I rarely got to see your work, if at all. (Taxi doesn't count) Now that I'm 20, I'd love to have a chance meeting. You should definitly come to Canada, there are a lot of people who would appreciate what you do. Peace

"Trust me." Andy says...hahhhaaa...trust Andy??? That's even harder to do than believing he's alive!? WHAT AM I SAYING

Andy, if it is you -- you have realized your wish. Bravo! From now on everyone will remember you as the person who pulled it off -- but I'm dying for you to prove it...! ;)

And...I dare you to contribute to society in a way that will postively change the world. Are you up for THAT challenge? You've brought back the practical joke, you are the king -- but can you get practical and make a difference that affects lives? I think we'd all welcome your creative brilliance in other, more important arenas of our culture.

it doesn't matter whether you're andy or not. it's an andyesque stunt, and it's great. these people getting all pissed need to chill out and appreciate the gray area. you're worth thinking about... whether you're andy or not

Hey Andy, think you could come to Hawaii? I'd love to meet you finally. You've been an inspiration to me in my pursuit of comedy-hilarity-ness-ness-ish-ness....ly....ish....able................ness. Also, what did you think of Man in the Moon?

(("Ratsan" needs to take a chill pill and stop posting rediculous shit on here. Nobody gives a rats ass on what you post.))

And you need to understand that this is not a funny hoax becuse it's in rather poor taste.

If you really think Andy would have liked this guy makeing this hoax you really need to read a little more about him and try understanding him a little better. He may have indeed had the guts to fake a death for 20 years but the person perpetrating this is makeing a compleate mockery of andy and his fans.

I doubt andy would have been to thrilled whith the money grubbing that occured at the party they held waiting for his return as well and if her were alive would made him wish he wasent.

well well well..... time does tell doesn't it? If this is the REAL - without question - Andy, then our nights in Phoenix should be a fun memory. And that couple in the spa at the hotel? hummmmmmm And what was the maid doing with your dolls? Oh well - The only other universal question to be asked would be..... "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE WHO POST TO THESE THINGS SPELL?" Remember us if you ever do get back to Phoenix.

Peace and good luck A.

PS - If it's not you - Don't read this and don't say hi if you come to town.

"If the real Andy Kaufman were back, his story would be picked up by every major news service in the U.S. and a good many abroad, not merely a single "anybody can submit a story" free publicity service. And if the real Andy Kaufman genuinely wanted to demonstrate he was still alive, just one public appearance would serve that purpose far more convincingly than an unverifiable DNA test. Most important, if the Andy Kaufman I remember — the brilliant, unpredictable, erratic, and unique comic genius — had finally emerged from hiding twenty years after faking his own death, I have no doubts that he'd find a much more imaginative way of revealing his return than a free press release and a rather ordinary blog."

if this is andy or not.....you sure did piss alot of people off....soo if this isnt andy then great job at pissing every buddy off..but is andy is really alive and you are who you say you are...then it just go's to show who youer real fans are!

Welcome back! I think what you did was pure genius! You already know what you did and why and for those reasons why, I applaud you.

On your tour, you should come to Merced, Ca. It's the butthole of California and the Wal-mart here on a Sunday would be choice material for you. Of course your black turtle-neck artfag charatcer would be choice for the starbucks here as well.

If interested, please feel free to contact me at femcenobite@deadflesh.org

Hey Andy, I am in Japan, there are as many Starbucks over here as there are in the States I good line you up on a Japan tour. Tony would really hit it off over here. djtriplebypass@yahoo.comhttp://djtriplebypass.com

George W. Bush is really Andy in disguise. When everyone finds out he was just kidding about that whole Iraqi war thing, we're all going to feel pretty stupid. Come on...a President that can't pronounce "nuclear"? Genius! Andy, you really had us going.

Yo Andy you should dress up as that hippy character and come to the PHISH shows in brooklyn 6/17 and 6/18.I believe that it is really you, only the suckers dont believe it. You wanna puff a spliff sometime?

Andy, if it is really you, welcome to the world of blogs. If it isn't you, then you are an insane genius for coming up with this webpage. Have you seen how many hits you've had today? I love it!! Keep posting. I hope to see you at a Starbucks or a Wal-Mart soon. This is truly one of the greatest things I've seen in quite some time. Thank you for bringing some humor to my day!!

Andy, if it is really you, welcome to the world of blogs. If it isn't you, then you are an insane genius for coming up with this webpage. Have you seen how many hits you've had today? I love it!! Keep posting. I hope to see you at a Starbucks or a Wal-Mart soon. This is truly one of the greatest things I've seen in quite some time. Thank you for bringing some humor to my day!!

So Andy, What are you going to do on your One Millionth hit? Maybe go buy a Licorice Whip or maybe even a Blue Snow Cone. Please do not over do it. If you need a place to stay while you are in Japan meditating. Give me a callhttp://djtriplebypass.com

Keep having fun, Andy. Thats the only thing worth having in this life, anyway. Its really sad so few people are caspable of realizing this and display such ugly, negative attitudes on here. If you don't think its funny, you aren't required to read, much less post on here. Otherwise, keep enjoying the performance.

I was at starbucks in Toledo Ohio, and he was just sitting there in the corner! So I ordered my coffee and went up to him and introduced myself. We talked for awhile, but I had to go after that. Great guy! For all the non believers... you can believe now. I dont lie. Andy is alive. The Starbucks Wal-Mart tour is the real deal!!!!!!

Come to my hometown Farmington, MO. It's absolutely horrible but amazing at the same time. We not only have a Wal-Mart but it's a super-size Wal-Mart. We also have an old abandoned Transimedation Center about 20 minutes outside of town in a even smaller town called Coffman (like you but spelled differently. It's rumored around here that you came to this center when it was still active, any truth to that?

Come to my hometown Farmington, MO. It's absolutely horrible but amazing at the same time. We not only have a Wal-Mart but it's a super-size Wal-Mart. We also have an old abandoned Transimedation Center about 20 minutes outside of town in a even smaller town called Coffman (like you but spelled differently. It's rumored around here that you came to this center when it was still active, any truth to that?

Well, if this really is Andy Kaufman should be his status with the Internal Revenue Service, they will be expecting to hear from him very soon! And if this in fact is really him it would have been the lead story on every national newscast and yes, the LAPD will be very interested in the forged documents used to fake his death as well as the funeral home who helped in this ruse. There will be trouble for everyone involved IF it really is him. Even with half of your brain functioning properly you can digest all the various info here and see that it IS not the real Andy Kufman.

One thing this prankster has going for him is the fact that Andy Kaufman was of the jewish faith and that means that probably no autopsy was performed on Mr. Kaufman's body which will probably further fan the flames of this sick gag.

oh course a very bright IT person out there has probably figured out where the posts are all coming from.

Andy Kaufman would never say, "Tell the press about my appearances." "Andy" is contradicting himself - he doesn't want the press to get a hold of him and "whore" him...yet he's willing for people to report his appearance to the press - URGING them to do so?

Yeah, right. Nice try, "Andy," but Snopes has a good article on this.

IT IS A HOAX EVERYONE. Snopes has verified it. YAHOO! was the only website ANYWHERE that claimed the story was true. It turns out most of their information came from a tabloid newspaper.

I'm so afriad to believe and guessing I shouldn't and its just a prank in honnor of Andy, and that all the people that you mentioned that are your new character are basicly people you would more then likely see in Wal-mart or Star-bucks. Then again that might be your point. But I do have a question though, Andy, my father who is quite a genuis has trouble using the computer when I am around, how did you, make a full on site and post section, find out about blog, ect. ect. ect. when you have been trying to hide yourself for 20 years? well whatever cute prank either way, Love the Nibble

Well folks, I have used my various connections in west coast law enforcement and have inquired aboout L.A.P.D.'s interest in Andy Kauffman. The response I received when asking a veteran L.A. investigator about the case was: "What case?? Andy Kauffman is rotting in the ground! The L.A.P.D. has no interest in the dead F***ker!"

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