My husband does the weekly supermarket shop because I can't manage it and he doesn't want to do in online. So I just use local shops for bits and piece or buy online. But today I wanted a few things from the supermarket and was hoping for inspiration for christmas present for hubby. The blue badge spaces near the entrance were all full but I found one which was outside the shop but down the other end from the entrance.

Went in and decided to use the fast track so got that sorted and had a look around and got some bits and pieces, then fatigue set in with a vengeance and I realised that the fast track till is conveniently placed at the end where the car was, but no exit there! No queue at the customer service by the door so I asked if I could pay there; she said she'd have a go but needed my loyalty card - needless to say I couldn't find it so had to ransack my bag. By the time I did find it there were 10 people in the queue but I just went straight back to the front and ignored the looks and sighs. Eventually got out and got home feeling shattered but pleased I'd done it.

I don't know if such a thing exists but I wish I had some sort of badge or label that I could pin on when I'm on my own so that it would make people aware that I suffer from memory problems due to stroke.

Caroline

10 Replies

No, you don't wish you had a label, Caroline. A pin or label would only aid the bad guys in identifying you as an easy person to take advantage of, particularly at this time of year. But you can sure pat yourself on the back! We'll all give you a pat on the back and more. After all, people who don't have memory problems have difficulty understanding the accomplishment.

Good for you. Maybe you could do it once a week and see if it gets easier; sort of test your limits. If it gets better, the better for you. If it does not, give it a rest and try again at a time when you feel stronger. Congratulations!

Supermarkets are hell. Have same battle with husband as well. He has hopes all the shop but would not use on-line shopping, it led to so many arguments. We constantly ran out of food, I had no input on what he was buying for the family. So one day I blew a complete fuse on him.

Demanded he spent one month using on-line shopping because I had the right to be listened too. Under pressure he did it - his company is a major supermarket supplier so he is very pedantic about his shop! Anyway, been 7 months now and he now shops fully on line. He has no intention of going back to weekly store visits. He has his own little moans on replacements, etc but he has got that sorted now. As we have two young children the extra time he now frees up he uses for things round the house with us instead.

My way to deal with the supermarket visit yourself for the little extras you need between shops - accept that walking round the store will kill you. Pushing the trolley is exhausting and it always turns into a nightmare as you head to collapse. For the little bits you need to pick up once in a while - use those annoying in store scooters. They are a big pain but they give you independence. If you need stuff get people to help - I have no problems cornering any passer-by to get stuff off of top shelf. Then I get staff to bag pack and take to car. I know lots of people hate feeling a burden but I never feel that way. I get help when I need it which means I get my independence which is my most valued requisite of life. Give it a go and ask yourself how much better did you feel doing this than struggling!

Caroline you are brilliant! Given what you have already described on here its a wonder that you bothered to do that. So well Done for giving it a go. Canary is right you dont need a label but what you can do is go to the CS desk of most supermarkets etc and ask for assistance and they have people who will shop with you and take you round and then through the tills. If you start on your own and then find you need assistance they will help you.

If it makes you feel any better my other half and I came to blows at the weekend in Marks doing some food shopping. It was crowded and he was doing his usual wandering act so one minute I was talking to him the next to a complete stranger. Then I could not reach something as he had gone or could not get down an aisle because of all the trollies full of food waiting to be unloaded. The noise and commotion was just too much and it was all too much which is unlike me but I just got upset and had to leave. I ended up in the car in tears telling my other half how much I was fed up with my life and wanted to be "normal" again! I think it actually shocked him because when we got to Waitrose he got one of those trollies that attaches to the wheelchair (I didnt know they existed) and we barged our way around the shop with everyone running for their lives!! For once we could communicate with each other too. I now know that I can go on my own and do some shopping if I want to too, although I will probably come back having forgotten half of what I went out to get!

I did an on line shop some time back when feeling particularly batty and had to watch the delivery driver keep a straight face with 'one' button mushroom in a polythene bag accompanied by one baby new potatoe in another! Mary x

well did some shopping with daughter but went to pay and could I find my money, my daughter was getting worried and so I will be putting things properly in my bag. Its hard work and dread going out with hubby or daughter as sure they do not understand. I will do my shop online again

Just returned from my Dieticians appointment - apart from the shocking ahem... cough... news on the ahem cough few pounds gained, she too suggested I start doing my shopping on line. When I had stopped the hysterical laughter that followed, she asked what was so funny, I explained it was the thought of a friend of mine who likes to amuse delivery drivers with a solitary mushroom!! The tears are still rolling down my cheeks.......oh dear I need to get out more!

Now, gosh darn it!, you did great! See, you did it, you made it to the store and you accomplished it. Forget the others, the cashier, the frustrations. It's not about them anyway. The badge you are wearing, although it is invisible, is a badge of courage! Hooray for you.

Things are arranged a bit different here in the States, but the story is the same, it's about getting out and doing for ourselves. Last Saturday I went to the drug store and forgot that on the first of the month they always test the air raid sirens. Heck, noise and I don't get along at all. I was talking to the clerk behind the counter and suddenly felt pain in my ear, felt dizzy and everything starting whirling. My wallet out, credit card and all. Someone could have so easily taken advantage of me! But, fortunately, they sat me down and put everything in my purse. The store manager even sat with me, how lucky I was. My head in my hands and it took a good 15 minutes before I could function. Yet! - I still know that I am able to do things. Sometimes less and sometimes more.

Sometimes it can be really funny and laughing at ourselves is really great medicine! Also, it is fantastic to know what we can do and keep doing it. Always there are those who can do less than we, so applaud ourselves and keep marching!