Top Gear for Books

I know this week’s question was about who my protagonist aspires to be. But Hannah Vogel isn’t big on role models. She just does the best she can. But that is obviously WAY too short to be my first blog post in a month or more.

I’ve decided to use the space to talk about a TV show for books and writers. No, my show doesn’t aspire to be “Castle” or “Murder, She Wrote.” It aspires to be “Top Gear.”

Netflix has posted some new seasons and my house is full of guys (two extra, plus two regular), so we’ve been going on a “Top Gear” bender, so I decided that what the world needs is a TV show about books that is similar to “Top Gear.”

First, it would open with discussions of various books that are out, fiction and nonfiction. It could have a news segment about recent deals, films based on books, and new and upcoming releases.

Then it would have a segment where actors (or writers) re-enacted one of the key scenes in a recently released book. For example, someone could create a scene from a James Patterson novel where the characters walk two steps toward the kitchen and have suddenly been transported from New York to Chicago, with no transition at all. Alternately, a romantic love scene could be nicely botched on screen. Terrible Amazon reviews could be read by weeping writers, followed by elaborately enacted revenge fantasies.

“Writer in a Reasonably Priced Car” could be writers driving (sober, one hopes) famous cars from novels, like a James Bond car or the cool period cars from the Hannah Vogel series.

You could do traveling segments where writers took you on a tour of the landscape of their books. Visit Nic Costa’s Rome with David Hewson. Tour the Vatican with James Rollins. See Miranda Corbie’s San Francisco with Kelli Stanley.

My husband, action guy, suggests a segment where books are abused the way “Top Gear” abuses cars. Launch one on a rocket (a Harlan Ellison?). Read one under the ocean (a Clive Cussler, obiously). Drop one in a pit of lava (JRR Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings”).

It closes with the Cool Wall where new releases are added by the bickering hosts. And we also need a place for fans, like someone who can recite Klingon poetry.

Clearly, it has to be funny. I think we need a range of hosts, from an action oriented American to a snooty British literature expert and maybe a wickedly funny romance writer. What do you think? Who do you think should star in it? What kinds of segments would it have? Somebody make this show. I want to be on it.

Glad to hear that you go lunch out of it! We did a version of Top Gear for Books at the Tucson Book and Music Festival and got our picture on the front of the newspaper. I think it would be a really fun show!