I’m A Bad Minnesotan

I fancy myself a proud Minnesotan. I was born and raised 20 minutes outside of Minneapolis, and as a Golden Gopher alum, the Land of 10,000 Lakes has always been my home. And while I joke about living in the wrong state every time a soul-crushing last snow hits in May, I do love it here.

But for someone who has lived all of her 24 years within a 20-mile radius, there are a handful of “Minnesotan” events and attractions that I have never actually experienced. With fear of public shame, I started putting together a mental list of some of the typical Minnesota-isms that end up on BuzzFeed roundups, but have never been part of this Minnesota girl’s memories.

I have never been to a professional hockey game.Living in the proclaimed “State of Hockey,” you would think I had at least been to one Wild game. But in reality, I can count less than five hockey games I’ve actually ever attended. Blame it on a being raised in a family of basketball fans, I guess.

I have never had a Jucy Lucy.This would be a seemingly easy one to check off my list. I have no real excuses, other than it doesn’t sound that appetizing.

I have never been to Paisley Park.Sometimes I think about people who live/record/perform in LA or New York and think it’s crazy that they live so close to so many musical and entertainment legends. I’m always slightly surprised when they are fairly unimpressed by it or haven’t made any attempt to see these people perform live – then I realize I’m a total hypocrite. My parents’ house is 4.4 miles from Paisley Park, and I used to drive by it all the time in high school on my way to the pool. Oops.

I have never been skiing or boarding, on snow or water.I had dreams of being an angsty snowboarder in middle school, decked out in trendy Burton gear and chronicling my adventures on Xanga (RIP), but winter sports coaches weren’t fans of the not-so-rare season-ending injuries at Hyland. Water sports apparently aren’t my thing either, unless you count extreme tubing.

I have never been to Al’s Breakfast.Some of my fellow U of M grads have been appalled by the fact that I never once went to Al’s Breakfast while an undergrad. I lived a block away from it my senior year, yet getting to brunch before noon was far too much to ask, apparently. Those were the days.

Am I alone on these and as “bad” a Minnesota as I think? Looks like a have a new bucket list to star checking things off from in 2016. Either that, or I have my game-winning “never have I ever” list ready to roll.