Babyboomer Seeks Younger Renter

About the Property

Your rent covers my mortgage and then some! Hey, we all have living expenses.

Okay, so my space is much nicer than yours, but your space was never really meant to be an apartment. It’s more of a converted storage area, really.

Yeah, I bought this place years ago for so little it would make you laugh and cry at the same time! Someone told me you can look up the last purchase price on the Internet, I don’t know, I’m not that great with computers to be honest.

When I die, my kids will inherit the place and evict you.

I have three small dogs. Sometimes I accidentally leave the door open that separates our units, and they run through your apartment barking up a storm! Just send them back upstairs, thanks.

Oh, there’s a closet in your unit that I still use for personal storage. Technically it’s in your space, but this is my house.

You’re allowed to use the driveway to park as long as you promptly move your car when I wish to leave.

I don’t really believe in all this climate change mumbo jumbo, but just in case, I put a waterproof seal around the door at the top of the stairs. I mention this in case your unit floods and you need to evacuate. You can’t get up here from there.

About Me

Born in the most economically advantaged generation of all time.

My parents did everything they could to make sure I had a good start in life—including helping me with the downpayment on this place.

I grew up and realized that the New Deal they believed in was really communism. So I voted for neoliberal policies that served my self-interest, like capping my property taxes, restricting new housing development, banning rent control, etc. Every man for himself—that’s my motto!

Sometimes they accidentally deliver my Wall Street Journal to your door. Just bring it back to my place, thanks.