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Man Cupcakes

Hello! Ben is back with his guest post column entitled One Tablespoon Testosterone, or OTT for short. Enjoy!

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The dog days of summer are the worst. It’s not the heat or the constant reminder that I’m getting old because I don’t get a summer break; it’s the fact that football season is tantalizingly close, yet still outside my grasp. So in order to build anticipation for the slew of meaty and manly foods I’ll be making for those thrilling fall weekends, I decided to make a manly dessert.

Now it’s fair to say that cupcakes are hardly manly. They’re delicious and I would never turn one down, but they’re often decorated with icing flowers and other colorful and aesthetically pleasing designs. So I set out to make cupcakes that were none of those things. There’s nothing froofy about these cupcakes. They’re not aesthetically pleasing, unless you consider a strip of bacon to be beautiful (and I do). But they are delicious and can be appreciated by anyone (except maybe small children). They make a great dessert for a Super Bowl party, or any old time.

We need to start by making the cupcakes. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix all those delicious cake ingredients together in a bowl, starting on low and then increasing to high until smooth. When choosing your beer, I recommend Guinness Extra Stout as it blends wonderfully with the cocoa. I can imagine that any chocolate stout variety would also be fantastic. Pour the very devilish food cake batter into your cupcake papers (it should make two dozen-ish) and bake for 20-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. While these are baking, lick the beaters and bowl.

Once the cupcakes are baked, remove from oven and allow to cool. Now let’s make the frosting. Combine the ingredients in another bowl and mix together until smooth. Add more powdered sugar if it’s too thin (or more whiskey if it’s too thick!). 1-2 ounces of whiskey is enough to flavor it, but feel free to add more if you want your cupcakes to burn a bit going down (yum!).

When the cupcakes have cooled frost them and add toppings. Peanuts and chocolate chips are good options; but sticking with the manly theme, we should add some bacon. Cook a few strips, cut/tear them into pieces, and add it to the top of your cupcakes. Now stand back, admire your work, and hold back the tears of joy that will inevitably want to come; there’s no room for crying in manly cooking.

When I first saw the cupcakes, I did an eyebrow raise. I thought the bacon was a strawberry and the chocolate chips were blueberries and I was thinking…those are “man cupcakes?” LOL! Well, now that I read it’s bacon (and how did I ever think it was strawberries? lol) and see there’s booze in the cupcakes and the frosting, I’m totally picking up what you’re throwing down. And you know what? I may be a girly girl but I could totally toss back a couple of these cupcakes with the boys. Bravo, they sound fantastic!