Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Due to a Sandwich shortage around the country, we did not have Sandwich of the year awards this past year. But it turns out that, apparently, there was no shortage of sandwiches in one corner of the country. It is with great pleasure that I announce this year's Sandwich of the year award... and for the first time ever, a one way tie:

A Warm Chunk Style Brisket on Rye

*Because these results have been published by special request, this author will be happy to add any other nominations from places where sandwiches may have been in abundance.

Friday, January 4, 2013

There once was a man named Peat. He was named after peat moss, his
parent's favorite of the 151-350 types of moss, and also the favored
vegetable of the townsfolk (little known fact: the town of Broccoli,
Missouri is the only town in the USA to even consider peat moss a
vegetable!). The year was 1985 and the town of Broccoli was experiencing
a meat shortage, and contrary to popular belief (in town, which, as
previously suggested, is relative) one can only live on Peat Moss for
very brief periods of time! So it was up to Peat (the man, not the moss)
to take up the mission of finding the legendary meat mines that had
been fabled for centuries but never discovered. He set off through the
southern gates of town and began his long trek through fields of wheat
grass, potato patches, and corn villages (yes, villages made out of
corn. everybody knows about them). Eventually he made his way to the
base of the great Cotton Tarp Mountain and began his long climb. As if
by storm, his meat sense went off when he reached approximately 3/4 of
the way up the north face of the mountain. Peat had not been privy to
the local legend, but for many years it was told that one day there
would be a drain on the meat supply, townsfolk would fall ill, and a
magnificent savior would appear to pull them from the disaster. Peat was
that man and he would never know it, because legends were always kept from heroes in the town of Broccoli. With his meat sensor ringing
in his head, he pulled out his pick axe and began digging into the
mountain side, chipping away inch by inch. After three weeks of non-stop
work, fasting the entire time, knowing he would sacrifice himself for
the good of his people if necessary, he finally struck the famed meat
deposits. Swiftly harvesting as much meat as he could fit in his back
pack, he made his way back to town where he was greeted with a hero's
welcome. Townsfolk quickly emptied his bag and delivered a ripe steak to
every family in town, saving the best for Peat himself. The mayor
offered up his personal chef to the hero in thanks, but ever the
selfless man, Peat declined. He cooked his steak to perfection and
paired it with a side of peat moss as the town rejoiced around his home.
People still speak of Peat's legend to this day. He is now retired and
occasionally helps out at the local library so he can assist
the townsfolk researching their favorite subjects, but mostly people just come to get a
glimpse of their hero.