Dear Twilight: Today’s post is a little mashup of everything- which is a good representation of life lately. Kicking us off is SJ with a little note that maybe tugged at my heartstrings a little (not to be confused with a continuous heartquake. That’s very different. I love those too)

Dear Twilight World aka ‘my fantasy life’,

maybe we'll get another photoshoot like this again soon!

I love you, have adored you, and at times rearranged significant real life events (eg getting to work on time, highjacking bosses comp. to watch New Moon premiere livestream) to suit your needs. That is why I am imploring you now to please, for the sake of the Trinity and mother Stephenie, meat patties, brain bleach, Robsten, Nobsten and Kellan’s pamphlet of LA breast cancer clinics he keeps pinned to his fridge by a Cullen crest magnet (for when his mom *ahem* visits), and yes even the *shudder* ‘snail’, please, please don’t JUMP THE SHARK, not just yet. I’m not ready.

I know that UC & Moon have been blogging much less, but bless ’em they’ve been the equivalent of Storm Troopers (maybe I mean Jedi’s??) in this whole saga ie the awesome guys. And so what if Cdubs & Cathy Hardy & the short guy are now but echoing voices, we still have Steph, Bill and whatsisname the producer. The whole cast may have temporarily faded into the LaLaLand ‘networking’ ghetto but lets remember that there are good times to come.

In just a few months we will care who that blonde chick standing to the left just behind Cuddlemore in a .52 second piece of footage is, Taylor will have had at least six more fauxmances, Ashley Greene will have done an even tackier swimsuit shoot, and Robsten still won’t be/will be getting cozy on the bearskin rug – just for us. And Dakota Fanning has/is? turning 18 years of age so, here’s extending an official welcome to LTT Dakota.

It’s already April, please just keep cruising around behind the speedboat before hitting that ski jump later in the year, you never know what may happen in the meantime, esp. if Rob is driving the speedboat. 😉

Sj.

AHHH SO TRUE. NEVER LET ME GO, NEVER LET ME GO (Twilight… I’m talking to you and not at all reminiscing the amazingness of last night’s Vampire Diaries. Not one bit)

In other news I was cleaning out our inbox a bit (I read some emails sent 1 month ago, go me!) and found a gem of a picture that Kaybvee sent us. Kay was at the Breaking Dawn Black Carpet & captured a Moment when Billy Burke’s wife grabbed his ass– Kaybvee says she was “practically up in there!” See for yourself:

Hey, I’d cop a feel of that copstache any day. Go get ’em girl!

And LASTLY– my personal favorite find from our inbox (Thanks Sagalvr!)…. As you all know I was lost to Downton Abbey a few weeks back. Well, I’m on my 2nd watch through of the series (much slower this time because Mr. Choice begged me to wait & watch them with him! He loves Bates) And what’s better than Downton Abbey? Downton Abbey AND something from Twilight. So there’s this:

Yes, we think your tractor is sexy... and yes... it really turns us on

Dear Taylor,

You need to stop… being so cute and funny and making us like you a lot and hope good things for you and shit. It’s hard to keep up our snarky, mean girls exterior when you’re making us want to twirl about and laugh WITH you at things instead of AT you. This is a brave, weird new world Taylor and we don’t like it. I’m not afraid to say I watched your Field of Dreams spoof for Funny or Die THEN I watched the behind the scene video, THEN I watched the deleted scenes video. Like 3 times.

I know we don’t write you unless it involves your Dad, who might as well be in the dang movies as far as we’re concerned or our constant internal conflict over your growing hottness and legalness but I think it’s time we change that… you’ve proved you’re ready to come up to the LTT Big Leagues ™

Both UC and I commented that we hope you do a lot of hilarious stuff like this were you have a good time, make fun of yourself a lot and don’t take things too seriously… like some people we know… AHEM. But mostly it just makes me want to sing Kenny Chesney. Someone needs to make a Taylor fan vid with this song STAT!

On a totally different note… Lionsgate announced you’d be signing autographs at Comic Con for your new movie Abduction… while I’m super (cautiously) excited that this bodes REALLY WELL for the Breaking Dawn panel, I just want to get you to sign something… like my jorts… or if you insist an Abduction poster

NOOOO not that one… this special one I made….

Do you hate us yet? Do you really want to be moved up to the LTT Big Leagues ™??? Talk it over with Rob, Kellan and Jackson and see if you can handle this kind of good natured ridicule…

Your video on Funny or Die was part genius you truly ALMOST hit the mark with this one. Good call on cashing in on Twilight since your character James is dead now and won’t be back for any of the sequels so you miss out on all the extra publicity. The video is hilarious because it’s true and that’s what makes the video so great… but between you and me we all know if this every really happened, if you ever really encountered a group of crazy twihards be it preteens or twimoms in a book group you wouldn’t have won. Not at all. They would have “ripped you apart and burned the pieces.” Just like any good vampire killer would. Trust. Now be careful out there dear it’s a wild world!