Not now, but in time.

Even telling the universe that I am now ready after eight months since the last. I am hopeful. I believe. I claim.

But at church earlier, it dawned on me that what if I am the one who’s not ready yet. Maybe the Universe is waiting for me to be really ready and not just the out-of-blue ready-because-I-convince-myself-that-I-am. It may be waiting for me to be stronger so that I can finally immerse into the beautiful but complex intricacies of the feelings and responsibilities of being on a relationship.

And so I asked myself am I? And without much ado, I answered, I am not yet. I am scared. I can’t trust myself yet to take the not so good side of a relationship. My trust quotient to the opposite sex is still low. I still generalize that all men only have bad intentions and they still leave after they get what they intend to get. That they break promises and are all unfaithful.

And so I pray. For myself. And for my the one. I pray that he be patient enough to wait for me until I become whole and complete. Until I am ready to be with him.

That’s not very hard right? May the universe be as willing to take that for now.