This brilliant young woman and her extraordinary Mother graced my life with their presence for the last several years. I received permission, from Mom, to post the news of her beloved daughter's passing.

I just wanted to tell that we had Shiva's memorial service last Sunday. It was a very beautiful remembrance of Shiva with all speakers being among her many young and loving friends.

This is a HORID MONSTER WITH NO COMPASSION. I ache seeing another person gone to this. Just a baby,and not in the rehlm of the natural order of things or what they are suppose to be. My deepest sympathy to all that love her.

My grandfather was a young dad (19) and when my Mom died at 46 from Metastatic Breast Cancer (most likely TNBC) he was 65 and he told me (I was 20)-

"I know how much you loved your Mother but the worst pain known to man is to lose a child."

I believe that to be a true statement.

My grandfather was never the same and he could not utter my Mother's name without losing it. I guess, in a way, I have been changed forever, as well. The grief is still there on some level...deeply buried, sublimated, whatever, but it is still there as I cry as I type. Such a marvelous woman..never to see her six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren or to meet my adored wife. They would have been such great, great friends.

I was a young dad (24) too and when my daughter was diagnosed, with TNBC, at the age of 36 I was 60 and I thought I would lose her and I just about lost my mind and I thought of my grandfather's words and how right he was. Fortunately, my daughter in August, will be ten years 'out' and hopefully, NED.

I have been truly aching since you wrote me, Atossa. And, sorry, I still have no brilliant words other than that you are a lovely woman and the world needs your compassion and intelligence.

Atossa may your find some peace in your grieving and know that I shall always carry you and Shiva in my heart. You said you would stay in touch. Please, please do so.

Rest in peace, dear Shiva.

with my love,

Steve

p.s. Natalie and others, you are right, there is no justice here; the natural order of things is shattered; there is just an "it is what it is" here and miraculously we have our TNBC Foundation family...where the feelings, support, willingness to share knowledge, experiences and love are all intertwined.

Edited by steve - Apr 17 2014 at 7:50am

I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates

Steve, I hope you don't mind that I posted the beautiful pic of Shiva, wanted everyone here see how beautiful she was. Melissa

ShivaHaghighi

Shiva Haghighi

Shiva
Haghighi, a beloved daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, and
friend, died Saturday March 22, 2014 at the age of 28.

She was
born in Englewood, New Jersey in 1985 and raised in West Lafayette,
Indiana since 1986. Shiva's natural charisma, intellect and magnetic
personality were evident as a young child and helped fuel many
accomplishments during her short but impactful life. She earned a BS in
Civil Engineering in 2008 followed by a MS in Civil Engineering with an
emphasis in Architectural Engineering in 2011, both from the prestigious
Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. Shiva was also the
president of Purdue's Civil Engineering Student Advisory Council and was
selected as one of 12 delegates to participate in the highly
competitive Transatlantic Program for Young Technology Leaders. She went
on to become a project engineer and consultant at Ebert & Baumann
Consulting in Washington DC, in 2011.While professionally and
academically accomplished, Shiva's legacy will be defined by the lasting
influence she had on her family, friends and colleagues.

Influenced by her beloved late father, Kamyar Haghighi, she developed a
passionate love for soccer, a sophisticated and rich taste for music,
and a compassion for social justice and human rights. She loved
liberally and in return, was loved by all. Her infectious laugh and zeal
for life was unparalleled and will continue to inspire others.

Shiva
is survived by her mother, Atossa Rahmanifar, and her sister, Nina
Haghighi (fiancé Tim Wright). Other survivors are her grandmother,
Behjat Zand, aunt Taraneh Rahmanifar, cousin Nicola Shahin Haghighi, and
many other relatives all over the world.

A service will be held
at the Thomas Duncan Hall (619 Ferry St., Lafayette, IN 47901) on
Sunday, April 13, at 1 pm. In Lieu of flowers, donations can be made to
The Breast Cancer Research Foundation, online at www.bcrfcure.org
(as a Tribute Donation) or by check payable to The Breast Cancer
Research Foundation, 60 E. 56th St, 8th floor, New York, NY 10022, with a
note on the memo line "In memory of Shiva Haghighi." A memorial fund
has been established at Purdue University in Shiva's name. Donations can
be made at https://shivahaghighi.crowdtilt.com
or by check payable to Purdue University Foundation, c/o Amy Noah,
Purdue University Dauch Alumni Center, 403 West Wood Street, West
Lafayette, IN 47907, with a note on the memo line ""In memory of Shiva
Haghighi."

Published in the Journal & Courier on Mar. 26, 2014

- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/jconline/obituary.aspx?pid=170364384#sthash.Ffn8XJSk.dpuf

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