February 07, 2005

Learn to Lose Interest in Unhappy Childhood

"SOME OF US were abused or neglected when we were children. Our parents' attitudes may be the reason that we first became unhappy, but once we've grown up, it's no excuse for us to go on complaining. Our own attitudes sustain that needless suffering and it is ourselves that we must learn to forgive.

Our parents did whatever harm (and/or good) to us they may have done. There's no changing that. If we go on trying to be what we believe they wanted us to be, our nostalgia becomes a form of revenge. It is our way of showing them that they should have given us another chance and that we are preoccupied with how things might have been.

Acting as though we deserved their past mistreatment only makes us miss opportunities for happiness in the present. It may allow us to feel that we were loved when we were children, no matter how badly our parents may have treated us, but to maintain that illusion, we must go on feeling bad about ourselves.

We must learn to lose interest in our unhappy childhoods and forgive ourselves for having stayed stuck for so long."