Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I Hope...

Today was a rough day.
Actually, the past few days have been rough days. It doesn’t matter what made the days so
rough; that’s not what this post is about.
Just trust me – rough.

I tried all day to come up with a reason to stay home from
our Moms in Prayer group tonight. I was
in a bad mood, I was tired, and I was frustrated. Surely those were good enough excuses. But, tonight was our last meeting before
school starts again in the fall. I went.

When I first arrived, I still didn’t want to be there. (Just being honest) But, things changed when we started reading
our scriptures. I was the one who
selected them and typed them on our prayer sheets so they shouldn’t have come
as any surprise to me. But Psalm 25:5
just jumped right off the page at me- “and my hope is in you all day long.” My long, rough day had been anything but
hope-filled! I looked at those words
over and over. Why had my day seemed so
hopeless?

I decided to read the entire chapter and try to figure that
out. I read it once. And, again. The answer to why I could hope in him all day
had to be there. What was I
missing? I started back through the
chapter and only got through verse 1: “In you,Lordmy God, I put my trust.” How had I missed that the other times? And, was that the key?

I finished the
chapter one more time. A couple of other
passages stopped me cold. Verses
16-17: “Turn to meand be gracious to me, for I am
lonelyand afflicted.Relieve the troublesof my heart and
free me from my anguish.” Verse 21
“May integrityand uprightnessprotect me, because
my hope,Lord,is in you.”

The
answer was one that I had known all along.
I had just let my self-pity and resentment cloud my mind to the point
that I had forgotten it. I wasn’t
putting my trust in God. I was trusting
in my version of justice and fairness. I
was trusting in my perspective on my rights.
I was trusting in other people to do the right thing. (The right thing according to me, of course.)
What I wasn’t doing was “putting my trust in the Lord my God.” No wonder I didn’t have hope. No wonder I didn’t feel any relief from the
troubles of my heart. No wonder I felt
anguished, lonely, persecuted.

I
purpose to put my trust in the Lord before my day even begins tomorrow. Then I can go through the day in integrity
and uprightness. I hope. Really, I hope!

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