Good day, loyal followers of Keep Beach City Weird. I've come to you today because I pride myself in bringing you the truth about all the weird stuff in Beach City the Man doesn't want you to know about. But today, I need to tell you some truths about this man! I've mixed up what is right and wrong and ended up saying some pretty mean things about the Crystal Gems. I feel terrible about my mistake because I know more than anyone what it's like to do thankless work and to be an outsider. That's why I'm joining the Crystal Gems!

Amethyst

[Snorts, laughs]

Pearl

What?!

(Ronaldo's video keeps playing in the background)

Ronaldo

(Knocks door, and then slam opens the door) Steven!

Steven

Ronaldo...

Ronaldo

Guess what!

Steven

You want to join the Crystal Gems.

Ronaldo

[Gasps] I thought you'd never ask! You know, I always felt strangely at home here.

Pearl

Unh-unh. No. You are not living here. And you certainly can't join the Crystal Gems.

We're all different, but we love and accept each other. That's what Crystal Gems do. And isn't it great that someone is actually interested in what we do? What better way to show him what we're about than to accept him as a Crystal Gem, too?

Pearl

Uhhh...

Garnet

(Slowly claps)

Amethyst

(Claps) Let's do this!

Pearl

Well, it's not the strangest house guest we've had.

[Steven and Ronaldo are in Steven's room; Ronaldo is rummaging through his luggage]

Ronaldo

So, when do I get issued my gem?

Steven

Oh... It doesn't really-uh-eh- But if you had a gem, what would you want it to be?

Ronaldo

Well, I care so much, I think it'd be, like, deep in my heart. Or like a million tiny gems, like one crushed-up gem coursing through my blood, like-like... Bloodstone!

Steven

Perfect! That's your Crystal Gem name.

Ronaldo

Wait! Check it out! (Pulls out a sword) I have a Gem Weapon now, too!

Steven

Wow! A sword!

Ronaldo

I got it at DelmarvaCon last year. It's a replica from the anime I Can't Believe My Stepdad's My Sword. It can cut through a carton of milk like a carton of butter!

Steven

There's a half-full juice box by the TV.

(Ronaldo unsheathes the sword and hits the juice box, sending it flying to the fridge.)

She doesn't even live here! I'm here all the time! Look at that quality groove I've established! If she was a real Crystal Gem, she'd be a little bit more dedicated!

Steven

Are you serious?! Bloodstone, ever since you got here, all you've done is boss me around! Who are you to tell anyone how to be a Crystal Gem?! You're just-You're just... a guy with a blog!

Ronaldo

(Deadpan) Is that love? Is that acceptance? Maybe you're the one that isn't a Crystal Gem. I think you need to leave and think about stuff.

Steven

(Pacing outside) What is my problem? He just wanted to be included. If I were really a Crystal Gem, I'd never... wait a second.

(Steven goes back into the Beach House)

Ronaldo

[Maniacally laughs] Amethyst! [Laughs]

Amethyst

Yo, I didn't even say anything.

Steven

Bloodstone! We need to talk! You're right! The Crystal Gems are about love and acceptance! But you've been acting really mean to me, and I don't love that. I don't accept that. I wish I hadn't snapped at you, it's just... I really thought you joined because you were interested in the Crystal Gems. But the second it wasn't about you, you stopped caring. This isn't the Bloodstone club about making Bloodstone feel good. This is my whole life! Do you care about that or not?!

(Ronaldo's star starts falling off, and then he faints)

Amethyst

Whoa! You truthed him so hard, he died!

Steven

No! Bloodstone! Bloodstone!

Ronaldo

[Snores]

Steven

[Sighs] He's just asleep. Guess staying awake for a whole week finally caught up with him.

(Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst jump away farther down the beach and walk away)

Ronaldo

[Snores]

[Three weeks later, Steven is walking around the boardwalk with a worried expression on his face]

Steven

(Sees Ronaldo standing by a bench) Bloodstone!

Ronaldo

Oh. Hey, Steven.

Steven

Are you all right? I haven't seen you in three weeks.

Ronaldo

Yeah. I took a real long nap, and then I did some hard thinking. I wasn't acting like Bloodstone. I was acting like [Inhales] Jerknaldo. You accepted me, but I still felt like an outsider. I guess even amongst outsiders, I am the ultimate outsider. I think it's better Ronaldo Fryman work alone.

Steven

Are you sure? I was really glad you wanted to help our cause.

Ronaldo

I still do. (Hands Steven a new "Ronalphlet")

Steven

Oh. It's you and Pearl shaking hands. When did that happen?

Ronaldo

I used the magic of photo-editing software. Hey, but, uh... Ronalphlets aside, can I ask you something?

Steven

Yeah?

Ronaldo

Why don't you use your Gem name?

Steven

Oh. My Gem name is my mom's name. Actually, the only time Gems really call me that is if they're about to kidnap me or beat me up.