Guided Practice in Speaking English

Category Humor

Podcast #147_EXERCISES A couple was having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress was at another table. She noticed something strange. The man was sliding down his chair. He was slipping under the table. The woman acted unconcerned. The waitress kept watching. The man slid all the way down his chair. He disappeared under the […] Read More

Podcast #145_EXERCISES A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in three years. What happened? You look terrible!” “What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.” The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? Three years ago you didn’t have that.” “Well,” says the pirate, “We […] Read More

Podcast141 EXERCISES Jim’s car is swerving all over the road. A cop pulls him over. “Step out of the car” says the cop, “You need to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds. “You see, I have very bad asthma. The test can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you have […] Read More

Podcast134 EXERCISES Some things get better as you grow older. Driving a car does not. You don’t see as well as you used to. Headlights are hard on your eyes. Your reaction time is slower. Traffic noise gets on your nerves. It’s easier to get drowsy. Long drives exhaust you. You drive too slowly. Other […] Read More

Podcast133 EXERCISES Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” said his friend. “My wife has done it to me again. It’s my mother-in-law’s birthday tomorrow. I’m supposed to buy her a present. I am totally out of ideas. It isn’t fair. It’s her mother, not […] Read More

Lesson Exercises Kim heard the phone ring. She sprang to answer it. “Darling, How are you?” “Oh, Mother,” Kim said crying, “I’m having a bad day. The baby won’t eat. The washing machine won’t work. I’ve sprained my ankle and I’m limping around. On top of all this, the house is a mess and I’m […] Read More

Lesson Exercises George was going to bed. His wife told him the light was still on in the shed. When George opened the kitchen door he saw there were people in the shed. They were in the process of stealing things. George immediately phoned the police. The policeman asked, “Is someone in your house?” George […] Read More

Lesson Exercises My wife and I went shopping for groceries. We always go to two stores. One store is Trader Joe’s. They have a good selection of food. And their prices are quite reasonable. The other store is called Von’s They carry some things Trader Joe’s does not. The two stores have one thing in […] Read More

My wife and I went shopping for groceries. We always go to two stores. One store is Trader Joe’s. They have a good selection of food. And their prices are quite reasonable. The other store is called Von’s They carry some things that Trader Joe’s does not. The two stores have one thing in common. […] Read More

Lesson Exercises A man comes into a bar. He is slightly drunk. He walks up to the only other patron. He asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: […] Read More