Bootcamp for the mind & soul

Several months ago, I applied to be a keynote speaker at a large global corporate conference and last week I received a one-line email stating that I was not chosen and that due to the volume of applicants, no specific feedback could be given.

Was I bummed? Initially, but I got over it quite quickly. You see, I read a book several years ago (apologies, I can’t remember the name of the book) which said that we have to get comfortable collecting “no’s”, meaning, we need to get comfortable collecting rejections. And, the more we collect rejection, the easier it gets to face, which leads to becoming more comfortable chasing every opportunity that comes our way, regardless of any potential rejection we may face.

I have taken those words of wisdom to heart over the years and as a result of this, I have been rejected on multiple occasions. I have not been accepted for every job I have ever applied for nor have I been accepted for every conference I have applied to speak at.

But I keep on trying and have become comfortable collecting my no’s.

(Side note: As I write this, I just received 3 acceptances to speak at women in leadership conferences in January!)

My lesson?If you have received rejection or have a fear of rejection, then here are a few things to consider:

Understand rejection – don’t predict, imagine or project the reasons for the rejection. Listen to specific feedback and acknowledge it, but don’t add to the rejection by creating a story about it and making yourself feel worse. And, if you haven’t received specific feedback, then let it go. Don’t create a story about the rejection.

Embrace feedback – if you have received specific feedback, then see this as an opportunity to improve.

Collect your “no’s” and face rejection head on. The more you receive rejection, the more you will be able to embrace it and let it go.

Remember that persistence cures rejection/fear of rejection.

You will be rejected more times than you are accepted and that is okay. It doesn’t mean that you are a failure or undeserving, it just means that you tried and weren’t the right fit at that moment. It’s not an excuse to give up…it just means that you need to keep trying.