Tuesday, February 26, 2008

You Doubt My Truth, That Hurts

I am paralyzed by the doubt I hear in the voices of people I call friends, people that I would expect to have engaged in a feeling of care and concern after what I told them, people that doubt my truth. As it turns out, THE TRUTH for you all on the dubious side, I was drugged on Friday night at a bar. Trust me, this was not my first reaction to the events that happened after a night of light drinking for me. We went to the bar around 6:30pm and I was there until about 10pm. In that time period I consumed 2 drinks and one shot, pretty spaced out. I already felt pretty drunk after my first drink, but didn't think much of it. Later in the night I started to feel really weird, I thought it was just that I was too drunk and should go home, but I know that I felt a different drunk, not the drunk you normally feel, I felt strange and weird. I walked the one block back to my apartment, talked to my roommate for a minute and then literally passed out. I woke up to a pool of vomit in my bed, because I had apparently thrown up in my sleep. I spent most of my Saturday morning, from about 6 am to 10 am in the bathroom trying to regain my sense of being a living creature. It took me much of the day to recover from this physically. Mentally and emotionally I have not yet recovered. After talks with friends, and the pieces of my Friday night somewhat put back together, it became evident that I experienced all the classic symptoms of being drugged. I don't remember a chunk of my night, my senses were completely out of whack and the fact that I threw up in my sleep further solidified what I hoped was not true, but indeed that I was drugged.

Now imagine how scary that is, and then imagine telling your friends about this and MOST of them express serious concern and it makes you feel a sense of security to know that you have these people that are genuinely concerned. Then you have the people that seem to think that this is just an indication that you are a lightweight, or that this is just too crazy to be true. I want to know how someone who knows you, knows you don't lie, in fact, can't tell a lie to save your life, could even possibly doubt that this is true. I just want to put this out there in the universe that I am completely offended as an honest human being and as these people's friends that could doubt my truth, that instead of concern I get belittling comments and snide remarks.