Hi everybody.I've had a relationship with a wonderful woman for a year and a bit, however it is both part of our moral code that we don't have sex until after marriage. Obviously, it's human nature for us to think with penis before brain, and so it's becoming very hard for both of us to keep our hands off each other. It's half-comical, except that it's now starting to tear our relationship apart. Not because we are losing love / affection, but because we are so set on this yet we (we being I) keep falling into temptation and getting very close to having sex, and we don't morally feel that we should be together if we can't keep thinking with our hearts and minds, and not our hormones.We've tried all the basic things, like "stay out of car and bedroom" or "don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of parents"... but they just don't work, naturally.So, I was wondering, do any of you guys have any great ideas that can stop us from doing this? I want sex to be a gift for us both to experience when we are married. As for the past few hours we have laid down rules (like, no-go areas of the body and 'grey' areas, which are areas that can't be touched under clothes) which we have done before, but we're now backing up with a punishment... if we fall into temptation I will go a week without using my PC and she will go a week without calling me every evening. But we don't know how long that will hold out for.Looking forward to your reply!

We have never taken clothes off, but we've gotten underneath clothes, and 'dry humped', all of which we also find immoral until after marriage.I'm very determined but you lose all will when you're in the moment. I don't want to get into that moment in the first place, that is the hard part.

Thanks for your comments, guys.Of course, Rad, I'm supposed to cut out whatever leads to it but by the way we were going, we would have to put on straight jackets and rock side to side in the corner, because it just wasn't working. And no, it's not 'rape' because we're both falling into the trap and nobody is screaming out to stop. As soon as someone says stop it's over.@albeitmyself - Thanks a lot. I understand we 'want sex', but I guess its one of those 'want to want' situations. We want it but we don't want to want it.

Well, I adored you guys are trying your best to be aware about sex after marriage. Me and my bf are both virgins and preferring to choose the right thing to reserve ourselves and have sex after marriage. For us, it's one of the most precious gift that we're going to give to each other, something that we can be proud of (morally) to our kids, friends and families...It's a human instinct to be tempted but there are so many ways where you guys(not married yet) can divert your minds from thinking of that S-E-X stuff and yet staying a healthy relationship...Believe me, if you guys also get along emotionally and spiritually together and remain virgins before marriage...You will never ever regret, because you did the right DECISION. Good luck and follow your heart to where it leads the right way:)

Did you read the entire original post?The OP has made the decision to NOT have sex. So, why would they need contraceptives if they are not going to have sex???When the OP said he's come close, he means they are taking it further than they wanted to (temptation). It doesn't mean they actually did it.You're a confusing fellow.

Originally Posted By: RadEven if they had contraception on hand, in that kind of heat, they'd not be likely to stop and put it on. Only if they're not responsible. Putting on a condom only takes a few seconds.I get that condoms are a must, but if these two truly don't want sex and work on the temptation, then why bother with contraceptives? I just don't get where Ninjadude got that idea from.Did he get confused with "come" with "cum"? Lol, j/k.

Originally Posted By: RadWhat did he express in his original post? ?????They don't want sex and seeked adviced on how to stop their hormones from taking over. There was no mention of condoms, which I assumed is because they don't want sex. Then again, this isn't about contraceptives or having sex. It's how to prevent it from happening.I don't get why the original post is so confusing. It's pretty staright-forward: they want to stop things from getting too heated because they want to wait until marriage.My brain hurts now.

rad and ninjadude arent being that confusing hun, theyre saying if the couple is having trouble staying in control they should acquire protection should they lose that control, now yes if they lose control they might not think to actually USE the protection but atleast itll be there to use. and yes i know they want to wait to have sex buts its obviously a problem of control otherwise he wouldnt have posted about it. so it wouldnt be a bad idea to get a few rubbers would it?

When pigs mate, is it called Shake 'n' Bacon? or Porking the other white meat?

Originally Posted By: Rad'' we (we being I) keep falling into temptation and getting very close to having sex''. I'm not ignoring this line. Sdp said it best. I keep reading this forwards and backwards and all I'm seeing is temptation, temptation, temptation. Nothing more. There's no hidden message or anything.Perhaps we are getting different views on it?Dan: I do get the whole condom thing. It's safe to have them. Where I was coming from is if they don't want to have sex, then why have them?If they give in, then at least they're safe. I'm not saying they shouldn't use condoms. I'm saying why do they need them if they refuse to have sex in the first place?Where's the OP? A bit of help would be nice, lol.

yeaah i know im just saying how many times have people said " im not going to have sex im not going to have sex OH LOOK! IM HAVIN SOME SEX THIS IS WONDERFUL! wait whats that feeling? oh shit, lack of condom and IM CUMMIINNG!! IM CUMMING! IM A COMIN so hold your horses ill be back with the diapers in a little while!" ya know?

When pigs mate, is it called Shake 'n' Bacon? or Porking the other white meat?

Originally Posted By: TheUrbanNinjaDudeOne thing confuses me.How can you be 'so close' to having sex, when you don't have any contraception available? When you know you have seat belts and air bags in your car, you might be tempted to drive more recklessly. If you have a condom on your nightstand while you're in the heat of passion with your significant other, well...you know.