What would be a sufficient mid-life crisis for someone like Tom Cruise? The dude already has a private jet and plenty of cars and motorcyles with which to tool around and feel “manly.” He’s also already done the “younger babe” thing and the mail order wife thing, and even though Tom has now been married and divorced three times (cue Ross Gellar), the man cannot stand to be alone (after all, he is so lonely and miserable) and is at a loss to figure out how to do it again. Obviously, he cannot go and order himself a new wife after every one already found out about his embarrassing wife audition disaster. And it’s not like Tom Cruise can join a dating site, right? So for his mid-life crisis, Tom is doing the only thing he can think of right now, which is to basically party every weekend night in London like a total dork. That’s right, Tom is “hitting the club scene” for the first time just as he turned 50 years old. What a disaster. Here’s a detailed account of Tom’s “weird” antics from In Touch:

Spotting one of the most famous movie stars on the planet is cause for excitement, so it’s no surprise that when a young clubgoer ran into Tom Cruise at exclusive London hotspot The Box, she took to Twitter. But her reaction wasn’t what the Mission: Impossible star might have hoped for. “Tom Cruise grosses me out,” she tweeted on Oct. 6. “He’s so weird!”

That pronouncement would no doubt pain the star, who is “obsessed with his image,” according to an industry insider who has known Tom for years. “Tom’s trying to look cool and go out and be hip,” says the insider, “But he just looks silly and icky.” At the root of the star’s odd behavior? “He’s going through a midlife crisis.”

Tom found himself very much alone after his sudden divorce in August from Katie Holmes, 33, who got primary custody of their daughter Suri, 6. In a move that has left Hollywood stunned and confused, he hasn’t visited Suri in more than two months. Instead, he’s stayed in London to work on the film All You Need Is Kill. So on Oct. 14, while his ex tended to Suri, Tom was out celebrating R&B star Usher’s 34th birthday. “He’s lost his place,” says the insider, “As a husband and father.”

His shattered family isn’t the megastar’s only issue. “Tom is very nervous about being eased out of big action-star roles,” says the insider. Another source confirms that Tom (whose most recent project, Rock of Ages, was a box-office flop) is “super worried.”

At loose ends, Tom — who in the past has rarely gone without a romantic partner for any ral amount of time — is hanging in clubs but finding it hard to connect with others. “I don’t think he knows how to be single,” says someone who saw him in September at Annabel’s in London. “He looked awkward and uncomfortable.” As rich and famous as he is, says the insider, “Tom just doesn’t know how to fit in.

[From In Touch, print edition, October 29, 2012]

Of course, Tom’s doing all of this at the expense of his relationship with daughter Suri, who hasn’t seen her dad in person for ten bloody weeks at this point. The Mail has been all over this countdown, and they received a a fresh statement from his lawyer Bert Fields yesterday: “Tom is a loving, caring father. Suri is a vital part of his life and always will be. Of course he’ll be seeing her soon. He’s in England finishing one picture and preparing another.” So Tom is merely busy with work even though he’s been awkwardly dancing in clubs every weekend. Does he truly think that Suri is now a degraded being, or does he just not want to spare the private jet fuel to hop over the pond and see her for a few days? Whatever the case, he’s been awfully busy partying with Usher, hiding his moobs, and enjoying “mystery ladies” in London as well as yachting in Croatia. And he isn’t even filming All You Need Is Kill yet.

You know what would help a guy who is “obsessed with his image” instead of vainly trying to hold onto his action star past with an ill-advised turn as Jack Reacher? Leaving the cult that so damages his image on a continuing basis. Yeah, that’ll never happen.

I agree. I feel sorry for him, too. Everyone forgets that he’s a victim of Co$, too. After reading that Andrew Morton book that came out a few years ago, I’ve felt for him because he’s truly been manipulated by some master manipulators.

As much as I can understand where you are coming from here, the real victims are the slaves that are being used by Tom Cruise to build her personalized cars and his lavish homes. The real victims are the slaves that are forced to date and possibly marry this man, that are using burner phones just to escape the abuse heaped upon them. Though he may have been taken in by this cult, he is not the victim. The slave owners were never the ones that needed our sympathy and understanding.

Yeah, I agree. They sucked him in, but he has taken full advantage in the meantime. I feel sorry for the Sea Org folks who are probably getting punished for all of this. I imagine Miss Cabbage is especially hellish right about now.

Oh and in case anyone from the OSA or SO is reading this, freeloader debt is NOT legally enforceable! The time to blow is NOW, before things get any worse!

He is no longer relevant and that realization must be killing him. Action movie heroes are a dime a dozen, the genre is getting tired and over-played.

Add to that, Scientology is fast becoming the laughing stock of the world and the general public is now getting more than a glimpse into its illegal, deceitful and inhumane practices.

So Tommy-boy is at the losing end of both his movie credibility and his credibility as a decent human being. It’s apparent Tom’s only happy when he’s playing a movie character that he’s trying to emulate in real life. How pathetic.

Well, his wardrobe doesn’t exactly scream “I wanna get laid!”…my gawd, those clod-hoppers? And that Marty McFly jacket! Is he kidding me? He needs to become a dignified older actor, and not try to be “cool”, cuz he ain’t. Oh how he must wish he’d never met David Misgivege! But…he has to stay now, his kids are in there and CO$ have much evidence about him that could really flip his life. Katies kept her mouth shut so far, she won’t ever talk. But he has no place to go. He must envy Brad Pitt, George Clooney and all those guys right now. They made themselves a life and are living it. Everything he does is fake & at someones CO$ orders. But dayum!… WARDROBE!!!

It’s not just romantic renovation, he needs some guy friends to cruise with!!!! Lol I went there! None that are connected to co$, or Miss Cabbage. This is what a mid life crisis looks like for the over achieving workaholic who has everything. Disconnect from regular (even celeb) people and awkward as hell.

And going to private members clubs will just throw up gold diggers. Mind you, since he is such a tool, that’s probably what he deserves!!!

And someone should tell him that only the tourists stay in town at the weekend!!! Tool!!!

OK, so I like to think I’m a hip and happening 50 year old single gal but there is no way in hell you would find me hanging out in London clubs … I enjoyed them fine from the ages of 14 to 22 (eat your heart out LL!) but now? I’d rather stick a red hot poker in my eye!

He needs to grow up and do stuff conducive with his age – you can still have fun at 50, but hanging out with teens and 20 somethings is just sad …

The worst part is, he was a really great actor. Born of the Fourth of July is spectacular. He doesn’t need to rely on action films, he has the chops to play deep and interesting characters, but his small man syndrome and co$ bullshit is what’s killing it.

He’s a good actor when he wants to be but most of the time, he takes the easy way out and just plays Tom Cruise. He’s made a career out of doing that. “Les Grossman” from Tropic Thunder was a great role but TC rarely makes that much of an effort. He gets by on the action movie special effects. But at that time, he needed something to bring him past the CO$-inspired career bumps, so he did Les Grossman.

There must be a special journalism program to learn how to write like this until it becomes second nature. Then you “earn” a Masters in Hilarious Hyperbole & can write for “certain” tabloids. If you hope someday to write for the Daily Fail, you have to remember to shoehorn “flaunting your curves”, “displaying your trim figure” & especially (my favorite) “showing off your toned pins.” I so wish American hacks would start writing about everyone’s “pins.”

But I had so much fun reading your post in my mind, like the guy that narrates movie trailers. I guess thats what was intended. But it was just too much guys. This is a wee man, indeed. He is small minded and thats whats hurting him now, thats why he has no family either. But he can’t figure out why we are all so “glib”. Bonus to TC tho, he was dead on when he said that to Matt Lauer! It was more than perfect. Matt is a dic*!

As an example of being separated from your children…I’m sure Kelly Rutherford would kill to have access to private jets and to be rich enough to fly and see her children whenever she desires. I just don’t understand why Tom doesn’t do this at every chance. Unless Katie is blocking it somehow but I doubt it. Quit the stupid partying and go see your daughter!! Daughters need their fathers.

I’ve said this before whatever Katie has on him is what is getting him to stay away from them. I think Katie has full custody but as far as the public is concerned she has sole custody with Tom getting visitation.

I think for all intents and purposes Katie has cut Tom out of their lives for good in exchange for her silence of whatever she has on him he has to let them go quietly.

Karma is biting his ass now! I do not feel the least bit sorry for him. I feel sorry for his children for having to put up with CO$ bullshit and having a father who’s basically a Stepford wife for Sciencetology.

Yes, the two parts of his life are totally in conflict. The only place he feels he fits in is the COS, becauyse he has been worshipped there for his money. But his money comes from the other world, where COS-fueled crappola conversation only alienates (I know) him from others, and aligning himself with COS publicly has become dangerous. How confusing this must be, since for decades, the two halves of his world worked together to make him, in his own eyes, the Best Thing Ever. And now, with one crookedly-smiling ex-wife, it’s all in the shitter.

If some delusional dwarf or controlling organization tried telling me that my sons were “degraded beings” and that I had to disconnect from them, I would go on the war path. Tommy-girl is an empty shell to allow his so-called church to direct his life and relationships. Maybe he needs to stay so busy acting because he is most comfortable being scripted at all times. What a sad and weird little man. And his playing at being Reacher puts him in the point and laugh category.

I do NOT feel sorry for these Mid Life Crisis men. They are reaping what they sowed. And they deserve to look ridiculous and be lonely – because yeah, you just farkd up your family being a douche and “finding yourself”. Control freak Tom needs psychological help – and meds – desperately.

Divorce AND mid life crisis same time is pretty nasty for far less wealthy people who have cash issues to contend with as well, so Tom will get over it. He’s definitely not the domestic type and is seldom home so won’t miss home life much. He’s too much of an escape artiste for his own good, in both real life and his action movie career. His best bet is to go into thriller movies now, or something more grounded.

His need to be in control of everyone and everything in his life strikes me as downright scary. The way he treated Nicole Kidman was disgusting. He never spared a thought for HER feelings when he alienated her children from her and used his power and money to set up a $cientology compound with his weird sisters and mother.

This must be the first time he hasn’t been out to buy or intimidate his way out of a situation. Lonely? Failing career? Tough titties Tommy boy…

I swear I heard that in my head in a California “Valley Girl” accent! TC is truly cringe worthy, he’s giving ol’ Demi a run for her money. It’s good to see that it’s not only female stars who catch flak for “desperately” holding onto their youth, turnabout is fair play.

TC may have “lost his place as a husband,” but he is choosing to FORFEIT his place as a father! Let’s not confuse the two, eh?

He’s got three kids who he has CHOSEN to treat as “small adults” due to his “beliefs” within the cult.

Now, Isabella is an adult who is largely out of the picture (I imagine in no small part due to her BF entering Sea Org and her being refused when she attempted to join as well); Connor is practically a legal adult and has his own stuff going on; and Suri was his last chance.

Or else he’s simply biding his time with Suri like he did with the other two.

Remember, Nicole was a very active parent to her two first kids until they both hit adolescence. In contrast, Tom showed little interest in them at that stage. You rarely saw photos of them in his company after the divorce when they were small.

Nicole, on the other hand, was always photographed taking them to awards shows, sports games, dinners with friends etc., hanging out with her sister’s family, and was photographed regularly with them in the company of Lenny Kravitz when they were dating.

Suddenly, when the kids were ‘of age’ (i.e. ripe to be brainwashed) all that ended.

I suspect they were staying with Tom for an extended period while she went off to do a movie (i.e. it was his turn to have them), and when she came back 6-8 weeks later… the damage was done. Hello SP! Hello degraded being!

Also, do you remember all those bizarre photo ops with Tom at Bella’s hockey games when he first got together with Katie?? It was utterly ridiculous – especially since he was never seen at a game before.

Gah, what a weirdo! I seriously think this is what he plans to do again once Suri gets older.

He made his choices and painted himself in a corner. His ranking would benefit if he accepted to become a “yummy” single daddy (I apologize). Otherwise, coming out as gay would be next but is so far off after leaving Scientology.

While I can’t stand the man, everybody keeps saying that he has abandoned Suri, or as CB mentioned, “Does he truly think that Suri is now a degraded being…”

How about the alternative, Tom has never spent much time with Suri or Katie unless they visit him on set. Hasn’t he admited as much in interviews?

For the most part, to Suri this is likely more of the same. It doesn’t make it right, but it does appear that she is not used to seeing much of her dad. She has never been a priority. I think if Tom had spent more time with his daughter in the past, Katie would would be more open to taking Suri to see him. Keeping that in mind, and considering the alienating influence he will likely be, it is probably to Suri’s benefit that Tom remains away.