Hey! Billionaires have feelings, too, you know. Home Depot co-founder Ken Langone took to CNBC this morning to defend their honor from that bully Barack Obama, who is killing the economy by refusing to literally dance for them while holding pom-poms made of shredded cash: "We need leadership, we need cheerleading, we need encouragement. Businessmen and fat cats need to feel like they're doing something good not that they're villains and not that their criminals."

Why should you make fat cats feel badly about getting fat, off of a financial sector that was rescued by taxpayer bailouts, while the middle class taxpayers who financed that bailout slide into poverty? They need to be made to feel good about earning record profits! It's hard enough without cheerleaders. Do your job, Mr. President.