January 6, 2009

It seemed too outrageous to be true, and it turns out it is. Did you hear the one last November about Jerome Schroeder, this guy who claimed that he was arrested he and his boyfriend were caught making out at a Madonna concert? His version of events had this heterosexual couple in from of them repeatedly screaming “fucking faggots”at them, then when Jerome accident dropped some drops from his drink on the guy, they return 15 minutes later with the Denver police, the woman making up a story how he shoved her. Jerome was arrested for “trespassing” after he refused to leave the stadium, and a shitstorm PR offensive was launched about how you can still be arrested for being gay… even at a Madonna concert.

Well, all that free publicity seems to have backfired on Schroeder, because it led to a third party coming forward to Denver’s Internal Affairs with an unbiased view of the action from a couple of rows back: “…the witness, who came forward after reading newspaper articles about Schroeder’s arrest, told investigators Schroeder was “throwing ice, hitting random people and howling with laughter… Schroeder and his friends were “out of control” and behaved “like overgrown children who were completely self-absorbed and oblivious to how their behavior affected the people around them…” Now I’m not doubting that the people in front of him called him faggot, that probably did happen, but in terms of getting arrested because he was gay? There doesn’t seem to be any discrimination, and that includes by Jerome’s boyfriend George, who sounds like he’s dating a real wolf crying hypocrite. Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

…but not necessarily inaccurate. Seriously is there any among us that doesn’t believe Britney Spears has a 4 feet wide, teeth bearing vagina, where Cheetos and back up dancers enter, never to be heard from again? Anyway, the big deal isn’t that Britney’s official Twitter got hacked, I wish I was famous enough to get my Twitter account hacked, it’s that the normal entries would be ten times more offensive to most celebrities. Here’s a typical entry: “Britney went to Jerry’s Deli last night for after shopping at Target. She had a black and white milkshake with dinner” It’s like a virtual stalking application. How can Britney complain that people won’t leave her alone when her PR machine won’t even let her go to Starbucks for a latte without throwing an SMS press conference. It’s just insane. Via Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

Is she actually making Arnie face? It’s bad enough that Bar Refaeli is dating the kid from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? but now she’s even making the same face.

Yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli are still an item, even though no one can apparently get them in the same picture. The couple spent New Year’s in Cabo, Mexico hanging out with Lucas Haas, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Jennifer Aniston. Makes you wonder who picks up the check in that group? Via Comments (2) Send this post to a friend

First of all, let me preface this by saying that the death today of Jett Travolta was horrifically tragic and there’s nothing wrong with being gay. That being said, there are some very strange circumstances surrounding the death of John Travolta and Kelly Preston’s 16-year-old son Jett in the Bahamas Friday morning. Jett according to his parents, had Kawasaki Disease, an illness that causes aneurysms in kid’s blood vessels, and according to many other observers also has autism, a neurological disorder Scientology is generally very skeptical even exists. Jett reportedly died either from seizure or a blow to his head falling in the bathtub likely during a seizure. Kawasaki Disease is as far as I can tell completely unrelated to seizures while as much as 32% of autistic people suffer from frequent epileptic seizures. What does this all have to do with John Travolta’s nanny? Well Jett has two full time nannies including Jeff Kathrein, who was the person who initially found Jett’s body in the bathroom, and is the man TMZ caught John Travolta kissing a couple of years ago in the picture above.

So basically instead of acknowledging that his son has autism and hire a qualified professional to take care of him, what John Travolta did was hire fellow Scientologist and boyfriend on the side Jeff Kathrein, who when he’s not taking care of the kids of an in-the-closet actor seems to primarily be a wedding photographer. Look I’m not questioning John Travolta or Jeff Kathrein’s intentions towards Jett but if the boy was surrounded by people who believed in 21 century medicine would he still be alive today? You’ve got to wonder. Via Comments (3) Send this post to a friend

Could the tramp finally be getting her very first tramp tattoo? Star Magazine is reporting that to commemorate her relationship with 20-year-old male model Justin Gaston, Miley Cyrus is begging her parents to let her get a heart shaped tattoo she designed with his initials in the middle. “She’s trying to play her mom, Tish, against her dad to get one of them to agree to the tattoo,” a Cyrus pals blabs in the January 12 edition of Star. “So far, her mom is the one who seems more cool with the idea than Billy Ray.” Ironically, despite Billy Ray’s objections, this isn’t the first time Miley has designed a heart shaped tattoo for someone. When Miley was a little girl she drew a heart on her dad’s hand and he decided to color it in as a permanent tattoo. Now that Miley growing up and in love with another guy, I guess Billy Ray doesn’t find the idea so cute anymore. Via

A man who looks like a woman, a woman who looks like a man and a 40-year-old that dresses like a 20-year-old. If David Spade, Fugly Fug, and Carmen Electra are the best The Venetian Hotel and Casino could lasso in terms of star power, you get the feeling that The Venetian is the Motel 6 of Las Vegas casinos.

Actually the way it works at these casinos is kind of interesting; the Venetian actually had two New Year’s parties going on simultaneously; Fergie hosted the LAVO at The Palazzo party and Carmen was the official host at their TAO nightclub. By shuffling the celebrities back and forth, for instance that picture of Carmen is at Fergie’s party wearing a different dress that she was wearing at her own, the casino makes it seem like there are twice as many celebrities and both parties. That being said, even with all those hosting gigs to go around, no one was paying David Spade to be anywhere. Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

Come on, Eddie Murphy… White women? What’s a matter, trannies aren’t good enough for you anymore? Anyway, here’s Murphy in St. Barts, entertaining two women who probably weren’t even alive when he was still famous.

If there’s any justice in the world, Eddie now has to pretend he’s Charlie Murphy in order to get laid. I’m Rick James bitch- that shit was funny! Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

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December 30, 2008
Robert Pattinson has no sense of humor about Heath Ledger
Filed under:The Biz Buzz / Slapped By:Harley at 17:07 Edit This

For someone with that haircut, Robert Pattinson has a surprisingly small sense of humor. US Magazine is reporting that at a December 16th show at The Improv at Hollywood, Pattinson booed a comic who joked, “Here’s my impression of Heath Ledger,” and then collapsed while he faked convulsions. Here’s how the eyewitness saw it: ”Robert and his friend went nuts yelling at him,” the source tells Us Weekly. “[Pattinson screamed] f–k you! You suck!” Look, I’m not saying that the joke is funny, because it’s not especially but leave the fangs at home. So the guy made a joke that didn’t work, did you ever do anything that was funny? (Okay I saw Twilight… I mean intentionally funny.) Pattinson starred in one hit movie, which when you adjust for inflation didn’t even sell as many tickets as Patch Adams. He needs to keep the size of his swollen head in check - no one cares what you think. Via Comments (4) Send this post to a friend

Lost underneath layers of tacky clothing and an annoying personality is the fact that Katy Perry probably has the hottest body of any pop star since pre-knocked up/going crazy Britney Spears. Seriously, do you see those abs? That’s what Pink would look like if she could scrap the fugly off her face.

Anyway, here she is from what I guess was her Christmas vacation in Mexico. It’s traditionally a holiday you spend in cold weather, but I guess if I had a body like Katy’s I’d spend Christmas in a bikini too. Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

So ever since Barack Obama announced that Hillary Clinton is going to be his Secretary of State, Caroline Kennedy has accomplished the amazing feat of blatantly campaigning for her Senate seat without once actually talking to the press… that is until now. Speaking to a grand total of four reporters for The New York Times, Caroline, who’s never run for public office in her life, explains what she uniquely has to offer New York State: “You know, I think that I could advocate for New York, I think that we are losing a very visible, very strong, very powerful advocate in Hillary Clinton, and I think it’s to New York’s advantage to have somebody who can, you know, bring attention to New York, you know, bring four people from The New York Times here to the coffee shop (laughter) and really put that to work for average people. This is not, you know, about me, it’s about what I can do to, you know, help New York get its fair share, help working families, travel the state, bring attention to what is going on up there. So that’s why I think I would be good.” So basically she’s just claiming that because she’s the only person who’s as famous as Hillary Clinton, she’s the only advocate for New York legislators will listen to. You’d have to be blind to buy that argument, but unfortunately New York governor David A. Paterson legally is, so… you never know. Other than that the ten page interview reads like an awkward first date. Caroline was relatively articulate without sounding overly committed, like if the seat is handed to her great, if not it’s no skin off her back. Even for a Kennedy she has an annoying sense of entitlement.

But what I really want to know is who took Nikki Cox’s original lips… seriously she’s on 30 but has had so much work done she looks like Joan Rivers older sister. Anyway, in a romantic gesture meant to coincide with the second anniversary of their wedding, Jay Mohr has filed papers in LA Superior Court to legally change his name to Jay Ferguson Cox Mohr. He’d probably have changed it to Mohr Cox, but you know, just in case his future kids don’t want to be home schooled until they’re 18, Cox Mohr seems more merciful. Of course their relationship will never get to kids if Cox ever lands another network series. On Unhappily Ever After she dated TV brother Kevin Connolly before having a 5 year(!) engagement to another Ever After costar Bobcat Goldthwait. Next when she was on Las Vegas

she got her collagen lips on Josh Duhamel before Fugly Fug did before finally settling on Mohr, who was a Vegas guest star. The girl is a serial costar fucker. Via Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

Two teens stars caught in out in public doing absolutely nothing to each other… with a huge table separating them! Okay, this picture of Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas out on a dinner date isn’t exactly scandalous, but it’s the day after Christmas, and Christmas seems to be the one day even celebrities behave themselves. (Okay, Courtney Love picked a fight with the Kardashian family, but I said celebrities, not people who used to be famous ten years ago.) Via Comments (12) Send this post to a friend

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December 25, 2008
Did Balthazar Getty just get fired from Brothers and Sisters?
Filed under:The Biz Buzz / Slapped By:Harley at 9:59 Edit This

Some site I’ve never heard of is claiming without knowing the details, that Balthazar Getty has just been fired from the hit show Brothers and Sisters. While normally I wouldn’t put too much stock in an unsubstantiated accusation, this has been brewing for a while. In a blind item posted December 2nd, Michael Assiello of Entertainment Weekly wrote about a squinting actor who had been on a successful TV show since the beginning, that was about to get fired due to a combination of budget cuts and general on the set unfriendliness. Meanwhile E! published a piece on December 18th, about how Balthazar had completely alienated everyone behind the scenes on Brothers and Sisters, with his general moodiness and demanding nature, while at the same time becoming increasingly more prone to forgetting his lines. To make matters worse, remember that extramarital affair with Sienna Miller that destroyed his marriage? Miller had been dating Getty’s Brothers and Sister costar Mathew Rhys before him. All of which led to a situation where the producers of Brothers and Sisters though everyone would be better off if the show went forward without Getty’s presence. Sorry Balthazar, I’d like to say you’ll be missed but apparently that’s not the case. Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

Is it just me or are all of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends starting to look alike? Oh wait, the new ones are identical twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon but really I can’t be expected to remember their names, when the only way they can remember their “boyfriend’s” name is by body painting it onto their chest. But don’t think I’m one of those people who’s going to get on Hef’s case for dating 19-yearolds… look all the woman his own age died in the late 19th century and what is he going to do, date woman his daughter’s age? That’s just weird. Anyway, this image is from Hef’s annual Christmas card where he updates you what he has to be thankful for, and what you have to be jealous of. Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

What is this - everyone who works with Mark Ronson has to go on topless Caribbean vacation for Christmas? Just a day after Amy Winehouse showed up on the beach baring everything but her bottom beehive, Lily Allen does the the same thing.

Speaking of Amy’s wig, am I the only one who notices that she and Nick Jonas are dead ringers for each other when she takes it off? Okay, well not exactly the same, at least not accessories wise. Even if aside from the obvious, I can’t imagine Winehouse going around wearing a promise ring. I mean she’d pawn her own teeth, if she could stay awake long enough to pull them out. Via here and here Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

Goodbye Guy Ritchie - hello random affairs with inappropriately young Latin men. Seriously, this one looks like 6 months removed from being in kiddie porn; I hope Madonna carded him before making him eat the cobwebs between her legs. Anyway, his name is Jesus Luz and he’s a Brazilian model she met on a photoshoot for W magazine in Rio de Janeiro. Grandma Spice liked him so much she decided to invite him along for the rest of her Sweet and Sticky tour. I’m not sure what his job title on the tour is but seeing how not running away while a senior citizen humps your leg technically isn’t a skill, I have to

assume he’s qualified.

And if you’re still rooting for the Alex Rodriguez relationship, don’t worry, as any Kabbalist can tell you, Madonna is not exclusive to Jesus, as the two are still free to date other people. Via Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

And you thought she never showered! Here’s Amy Winehouse making the ocean a little bit more salty as she takes off her top during her current Caribbean vacation in St. Lucia. How Winehouse can go on vacation when she hasn’t spent a day working is beyond me but this is the first time I’ve seen her that she’s has more weight on her body than beehive so it’s nice to see her emancipated figure looking corporeal for a change.

Anyway, Amy actually went straight from rehab to her tropical vacation where you figure drugs have to be readily available, meaning that she should be glad the paparazzi took these pictures. This is probably going to be the best she looks for a while. Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

For all the bleached behind recognition Barbie doll pop stars, it’s nice to see a natural beauty like Alicia Keys finally showing some skin in a black two piece. In the past she’s been pretty shy about showing off her body, as for the first few years of her career she wouldn’t even allow herself to be photographed in a dress.

Anyway, these pictures were taken at a hotel in Perth, Australia where she’s about to perform a concert with Jordin Sparks. As happy as I am to see Alicia in a bikini, I’m just as thankful Jordin isn’t. (Team Blake!) Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

It was an excuse so absurd, it actually seemed lifted from a David Mamet satire. In explaining why he was bowing out of an acclaimed revival of the David Mamet play Speedthe-Play, Entourage actor Jeremy Piven offered the dubious explanation that his doctor told him his mercury levels were too high from eating sushi. Mamet, who heard the excuse firsthand offered this deadpan elaboration, “My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” So why did Piven really leave the Broadway play? Well with respect to Carlon Colker, the shady doctor who actually backed up Jeremy’s bad sushi excuse, here’s what one anonymous insider told Gawker.com “Jeremy showed NO exhaustion as recently as last week. For six weeks, he has been trying to weasel out of his contract, citing various forms of exhaustion (nothing about mercury until a few days ago), while still going out and partying constantly into the wee hours (which has been well documented by the press and paparazzi), so it’s always been pretty clear that any exhaustion is not from being on stage for 80 minutes a night. (and let us point out that 80 year old Estelle Parsons walks up and down a three story set four times while being on stage for over three hours a night in August Osage County, and has been doing so for far longer than Jeremy has been in this tiny, intermissionless Mamet play)… ” In fact it turns out Piven had been trying to be excused to attend the Golden Globes, and by be excused, I mean leave for one night and never come back, as he was trying to solicit actor friends to replace him in the play for weeks. You get the feeling that if Jeremy really got mercury poisoning is if that’s what he was trying to snort up his nose. Via

Various outlets today are reporting that Michael Jordon is set to marry Cuban born model Yvette Prieto next week, which if true would be the single stupidest thing Michael’s done in his life and yeah, I was there for the Washington Wizards years. Jordan already has the record for the most costly celebrity divorce, having parted ways with his wife of 17 years, Juanita Jordan in 1996 for a $168 million dollars. And this Yvette Prieto, who some people are claiming is a supermodel just isn’t, as only like two photos of her exist on the internet, actually seems to be a professional star fucker as her previous boyfriend was Julio Inglesias Jr. though granted he’s the least famous Iglesias brother. Michael was rarely faithful to Juanita even when he had a job, and now that he’s a mostly absentee executive with the Charlotte Bobcats it’s pretty much a slam dunk that he’s going to cheat again.

Why would he want to put his remaining fortune at risk for a girl he’s only been dating since July? Via Comments (3) Send this post to a friend

When a 20-year-old is dating an underage girl, it pretty much goes without saying that his motives aren’t pure, but does Justin Gaston have the wrong unpure motives towards Miley Cyrus? An unnamed source close to Justin is claiming that just isn’t so much interested in hitting that, as he is in furthering his modeling career and getting a hit record:

“He’s got more modeling jobs since he’s been with Miley and is telling people they’re writing songs together so her fans will get interested in his music. You start to think he’s in this for fame.” So what does daddy Cyrus think of all of this? According to confidential know-it-all he couldn’t be more thrilled:

“After her photo leaks, she needed someone discreet and Billy Ray thought this was perfect for her image. They talk up how he is a good Christian like her and he won’t overshadow her like someone like Nick Jonas might.” So let me get this straight, the statutory rapist is the discreet Christian good for Miley’s image, while the poster child for promise rings is the bad guy? What planet is Billy Ray from? Via Comments (4) Send this post to a friend

Halle Berry, who famously received a $500,000 to flash her breasts in the 2001 film Swordfish, inadvertently seems to have given a free show on the set of her new movie, Frankie and Alice in Vancouver, when a gust of wind significantly lowered her asking price. In the movie Halle plays a woman with a multiple personality disorder, with one of her personalities being a complete

racist. I don’t know if that’s a personality disorder so much as it’s half of America after a couple of drinks. Via Comments (0) Send this post to a friend

I just came across these pictures of Jared Leto going to a The Cure Concert, and the only cure he needs is Hair Club For Men. How can Jordan Catalona be 36 and have a grey beard? I’ve never felt older in my life.

At least he still dresses like a homeless wino. Some things never change… Via Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

This is probably completely ridiculous but in a few bloggers are claiming that in pictures from the Miley Cyrus Sweet 16 at birthday part at Disneyland; if you look closely at Demi Lovato’s wrists, they have cut marks. Here’s the official word: “These allegations are completely false,” says the singer’s rep, Lillian Matulic. Demi, she points out, was wearing several oh-so-hip tight plastic bracelets earlier that day which “left indentations on her wrist.” Now I don’t think that looks like cut marks either, but to be fair I’m not a psycho bitch who knows what cut marks look like. And anyway, slitting your wrists to avoid hanging out with Miley Cyrus seems as good a reason as any.

I’ve got to admit, I’ve always though Vanessa Hudgens’ relationship with Zac Efron was a beard manufactured by the suits behind High School Music, but I have a hard time explaining how this could have been a photo op staged by Disney if it happened inside a sex shop.

Anyway, a fan named Tanya spotted Troy and Gabriella in her local sex shop and the two were cool enough to take a picture with her… you know up to a point. If you’re wondering why Zac isn’t in the same photo with Vanessa and Tanya, it’s because if he’s going to have a threesome, it’s sure as hell not going to be with two girls. Via here Comments (4) Send this post to a friend

These photos, which are alleged to be Miley Cyrus’ first photo shoot were taken for Popstar magazine in 2002, when she was 10 years old. Now I’m not trash a ten-year-old, I may have low

standards but even I have standards, so let me just put it this way:

Am I alone in thinking that having such a young kid showing that much midriff is completely inappropriate? Via Comments (8) Send this post to a friend

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December 11, 2008
Jennifer Aniston has a thing for musicians, not their music
Filed under:The Biz Buzz, Jennifer Aniston / Slapped By:Harley at 21:50 Edit This

In the latest issue of GQ, Jennifer Aniston reveals that before she started dating on again, off again BF John Mayer she knew at best, like one song of his: “Honestly, I did not know much about him before I met him. I’d heard…you know, uh, ‘Your Body’ that song.” Aniston, who previously dated Adam Duritz of The Counting Crows has a thing for rock stars, but I guess she just like the way they hold their guitars.

Anyway, other than that Aniston is just up to her usual Aniston antics, like wondering why people are so God damn interested in her personal life: “I think it’s ridiculous. There’s just this insatiable need… I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, “You know what? It’s none of your (expletive) business.” Of course maybe people wouldn’t be so interested in her personal life if she stopped doing stuff like pose completely naked with two strange men on the cover of a magazine but you know… maybe that’s just too obvious. Via here and here Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

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December 10, 2008
Like we didn’t already know who wears the pants in the family
Filed under:The Biz Buzz, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt / Slapped By:Harley at 19:36 Edit This

Okay, I just came across these pictures of Brad Pitt in drag, and even though they were taken years before Pitt had even met Angelina Jolie, it explains so much about his relationship with the bisexual Jolie. Where is she going to find a girl with legs like this… it’s like he’s the best of both worlds.

Anyway, these pictures were taken by photographer Mark Seliger for a 1999 Rolling Stone cover shoot… which I believe was to promote the movie Fight Club. No one’s quite as good at making feminine look masculine like Brad Pitt. Via Comments (1) Send this post to a friend

Just a month ago Jessica Biel said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that posing naked in Gear Magazine when she was 17 was one of the dumbest mistakes of her life. So what does she turn around and do? Play a stripper in her next movie. The online trailer just debut today for her new film Powder Blue, and I don’t know if the stripper footage is integral to the plot, but it’s integral to the trailer, as she’s lunging around a stripper pole for like one third of a 2 minute ad.

And she’s not even the only one getting in on the act, as Marisa Tomei who’s already 44 is getting serious Oscar buzz for playing a stripper in The Wrestler, the umpteenth Mickey Rooney comeback movie. It’s like clockwork, come every November rich and successful women will fight tooth and nail to get roles where they play strippers and prostitutes in a paradoxical effort to be taken more seriously. Is there another profession in America where woman take off their clothes to gain respect?

If you didn’t believe me the first time, when I said Jessica Alba doesn’t look the same since she gave birth, here’s the proof: before pictures and after Photoshop pictures of Alba’s Campari ad photo shoot.

The odd part? Even though I was clearly right that she weighs a lot more in real life; she actually looks ten times better in the behind the scenes pictures. She looks like a wax figure in the Photoshoped versions; even the clothing she’s wearing doesn’t look real. When are ad agencies going to learn that just because they can change the way a woman looks, doesn’t mean they need to? Via Comments (5) Send this post to a friend