I am a rape survivor, as part of recovering I need the opportunity to put what I'm feeling down on paper. This is the forum I have chosen to use. There is a guestbook below, it would be great to hear from you so please do feel free to leave a comment on either the guestbook or on a post.

Pages

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Oooh here comes the real anger!

I am feeling so angry! Like really angry! I want to beat someone up or do some damage or scream or something. I'm typing and my fingers are banging the keys! Oh how I've longed to feel like this. To not feel logical or not analise or think to much but to just f'ing feel something.

And this time I'm not angry at myself. I'm angry at him and the DPP and the stupid stupid stupid justice system and that evil evil man who hurt me so much and hurt my family and my friends. A man who has done so much damage to me. A man who violated me and degraded me and stole my dignity. A man who made me blame myself, hate myself and hurt myself and got away with all of it. Free to do it again.

I am absolutely raging today. How f'ing dare he do this to me. I didn't deserve that. I'm worth more that to be treated like that. Who did he think he was. AAaaaaaggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like getting a hatchet to chop some wood or something only I've no hatchet or no wood so I'll go to plan B and kick a football against the wall out in the garden.

I'm am soooooooo ANGRY. Who the hell did he think he was treating another human being like that. He's not human, he's scum. The scum of the earth. Scum!

2 comments:

I hear you. I think anger is such an important emotion in the healing process. It was a turning point for me - when I realized that asshole was the one to blame. I would tear paper. Shred it. It helped.

About Me

I don't know if anyone but me will ever read this but it makes me feel better to send it out there into cyberspace like a modern message in a bottle, get everything that's in my head out. The name of the blog says it all. I'm a victim of rape.I chose to put my blog on line because the first place I went to after I realized what happened to me was to the web trying to find something to help me understand what happened. If you have been a victim of rape/sexual assault or abuse believe me when I say you can get through this.
Tell someone you trust. Go get help. Everything is going to be ok, maybe not for a while but someday.