Blue And Orange, Blue And Orange, Blue And Orange, Blue And Orange

I guess the theme of this week’s comics is “things every geek loves that I have little to no personal experience with.” This comic marks a temporary lifting of my embargo on HijiNKS ENSUE comics concerning video games. I haven’t been a gamer since the original Xbox and I don’t want to pander to the gamers out there by piecing together bits of internet I’ve read into some facsimile of a unique perspective on the subject. “Everyone seems to hate GAME A, so here’s me echoing that sentiment and also there’s cursing and violence.” It would just get boring for you and for me.

COMMENTERS:Feel free to say whatever you want about Portal 2. Hell, you can make stuff up. I won’t know the difference.

A NEW THING!!! I have launched Sharksplode.com. It is NOT a replacement for The HijiNKS ENSUE Store. It IS a place that I can put up my more niche, inside, “maybe not for everyone, but definitely for super geeks like us” shirt ideas.

The best way to cheat knowing Portal, without actually knowing anything at all about Portal, is just to know a lot about Jonathan Coulton, (which I do believe you have in the bag) or even just, when people mention Portal or Portal 2, go "ahhh, Jonathan Coulton, amirite?"

*claps* Nice…
Then again, I've barely played Portal, and probably won't get Portal 2 till it goes to budget, due to having to curb my outgoings, and haven't really felt the hunger to play video games at all this past year. Shocking.

I made the decision not to play Portal 2 just yet because I have way too much on my hands right now to get sucked into a video game, and all anybody wants to talk about is how awesome it is. Stupid probably-awesome game.

My favorite part in Portal 2My favorite part in Portal 2 is when you get to ride a dolphin that shits rainbows through the mouth of a giant robot, who later gets turned into a potato, while Jonathan Coulton sings "RE: your brains" and you make portals that go directly into the womens locker room, which is filled with all of your old crushes, whom are naked. After you destroy the robot, you get to eat cake. Actual cake comes out of your PC and/or Console and you get to eat it, and it's moist and delicious.

The misbegotten spawn of that union will be a bald and bearded footstool. It will roll around the room, unsure of its purpose, incapable of comprehending its surroundings. Unabe to watch it languish in misery, Josh will level a shotgun at it as a tear slowly traces its way down his face. It will pause, look up at him with innocent button eyes, and squeel "I WUV U DAH-DAY!" through its polyester zippered mouth.

I learned from "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" that once you create an unholy creature that never should have existed in the first place, you take it home and raise it as your son. Take it on picnics. It can only end well.

The pacing is similar to the first game: a little too much time spent training on the mechanics, followed by too few puzzles that actually take advantage of them all. Only this time the "off-the-rails" section that was relegated to the end of the first game is spread out a little more between the game's chapters. And there are no "challenge maps" like the first one. My guess is that the co-op is meant to take their place, and that most of the cleverest puzzles are there (I've only gotten partway through it so far).

While I do play a fair amount of games, I have never played either game, never seen either game, and yet "Still Alive" gets stuck in my head on a routine basis. Often enough that the people I regularly interact with (family, friends, employees) who don't play games can quote the song.

Portal 2 would've been good if it were for another series. This happy, carefree world is nothing like the one where GLaDOS was a robot that only knew hate and curiosity. Essentially a curious Dalek that has control over an entire testing center but can't move or shoot lasers as a tradeoff.