Heartbreak and healing: Fatal crash victim's parents stay strong

Mirissa's parents huddled together against a bitter morning wind, the kind that stings the skin and waters the eyes. But tears filled their eyes for another reason.

Their child was everywhere: in framed pictures on a nearby table, in the minds of all the other people braving the cold, on a plaque about to be unveiled outside Fall River's Borden Medical Associates, where she had worked as a secretary.

Mirissa was everywhere in every way but the one that mattered. Knowing that never gets easier for Darlene and Steve Tetreault, who last saw their only daughter alive the night before last Thanksgiving.

"We're all just so broken," Darlene said.

Little moments help the healing process: a funny memory, a chat with Mirissa's friends or a plaque unveiling to honor a bubbly young woman. The good things are slowly replacing the nightmares, the gut-wrenching questions and the torturous mental replay of a car overturning on a dark highway.

Before reciting the Lord's Prayer, Father Andrew Johnson looked at the crowd and tried to lift spirits in need.

"This is proof to us all that for Darlene and Steve, the terrible loss of Mirissa they suffered last year is not without the silver lining of support and love," he said. "It is not the comfort Darlene and Steve would look for. We know what they would desire."

Mirissa's parents bowed their heads.

LIFE CUT SHORT

She was supposed to make the apple sauce.

Mirissa Ann Medeiros, 22, bought apples after work Nov. 23, 2011, and hurried home to 627 Maple St., where she and her parents were to host Thanksgiving the next day for the first time since she was young.

Anticipation filled the house. Medeiros was excited to usher in the holiday season. So was her mother, who had just set up an artificial Christmas tree in the living room. And, to make it a perfect day, the Bruins were playing that night.

Medeiros loved the Boston Bruins; she never missed a game. Immediately after the team won the Stanley Cup last June, she bolted out of her house and cheered up and down the street. The avatar on her Twitter page was the Bruins logo and her posts were filled with pride.

"Finally, what I like to see boys! Bruins made my night," she wrote Nov. 1, ending the sentence with a smiley face.

"Keep it up boys, great game," she wrote Nov. 10.

She spent the early evening with her parents, indulging in pizza despite having committed to a strict "soup diet" with her mother. She was content at home that night, declining persistent requests from friends to hang out. The pleas for her presence kept coming, though, and she didn't want to disappoint.

"When I come home, I'll make the apple sauce," she told her mother before heading out the door.

At Barrett's Alehouse on North Main Street, Medeiros' good mood was infectious. Her Bruins had beaten the Buffalo Sabres, 4-3, and she was surrounded by good company.

"She was ecstatic that night," friend Zack Duarte said.

Then again, Medeiros was almost always ecstatic.

"She was spontaneous, awesome to be around, never a bad time," Duarte said. "She always had fun and made everyone laugh."

Medeiros bought drinks for friends, none for herself. She hugged everyone goodbye, including people she normally never hugged, Duarte said. Then she got in her 2003 Volkswagen Passat and drove onto Route 24 northbound.

Several minutes after midnight, somewhere between exits 8 and 9 on the Freetown line, she jerked her wheel hard to the right. Her car rolled over, triggering a crash with another vehicle, and she was ejected. She was pronounced dead at Charlton Memorial Hospital.

By the time police notified the Tetreaults of their daughter's death at 3:30 that morning, Darlene had already sensed that something unspeakable had happened.

"I had a knowing, a gut feeling that something was wrong," she said.

When she returned from the hospital later that day, Darlene wanted to throw her Christmas tree into the street.

She kept her daughter's apples until they rotted.

'SUCH A PRESENCE'

Medeiros wasn't much of a crier. Her mother said she saw her cry only four or five times in 22 years.

"She was always happy," Darlene said. "She just came in with such a presence. I can't explain it."

Plenty made her happy: family and friends; her jobs at Borden Medical and Sherry's Hair Obsession, a salon; Dakota, her 6-year-old Alaskan Malamute; and Sheldon, her turtle. She loved country music, relaxing at the beach and shopping on Thayer Street in Providence. She enjoyed going out but could have fun at home, too. Some nights, the video game "Frogger" was all the entertainment she needed.

"Some kids drink and smoke, but she wasn't into things like that and that's why I loved her so much," friend Nathan Alves said. "I suffered with anxiety and sometimes would be in my room locked up, but she never gave up on me. She would come sit with me in my house. She was an awesome person all around. She was my go-to person. I have a lot of friends, but I don't have any friends like her."

Medeiros also was a hard worker. She graduated with honors in 2007 from BMC Durfee High School, where she studied cosmetology and played volleyball.

"She always did her homework and never skipped school," her mother said with a smile. "Looking back, I wish she had lived a little. She never gave me an ounce of trouble, never drove me crazy."

The last four years of her life, Medeiros brought to her job at Borden Medical a compassion that touched doctors and patients alike.

"Mirissa was a part of our family," said coworker and family friend Maureen Perreira. "She was like a second daughter to me. We know that she's here, but we miss her so badly."

SEARCH FOR ANSWERS

The shock of the crash gave way to grief and questions.

"Something like this is so hard to comprehend," Darlene said. "You wonder, did she have a heart attack? Did she fall asleep at the wheel? What happened? You just play it over in your head like a video. I go to bed at night sometimes and still see it. I can't help it."

State police told Darlene that her daughter likely died while trying to avoid a deer. A deer carcass was found about 15 feet from the crash site and its injuries were consistent with a vehicle clipping.

"The outcome might have been the same if she hit it directly," Darlene said, shaking her head.

The medical examiner refuted earlier reports that suggested Medeiros might have been hit by one of the other cars after she was ejected. The medical examiner also told Darlene that marks on her daughter's body showed she was possibly wearing her seat belt at the time of the crash. Darlene, a former emergency medical technician, said the velocity of the car as it rolled might have been enough to propel her daughter out of the car despite being belted.

"She drove like an old lady," Darlene said. "She always made sure you put your seat belt on or she'd yell at you."

COPING

Darlene said she believes her daughter's spirit is with her, sending the family love and messages of hope. But some days are still long and hard.

Dakota occasionally escapes the house and either walks the couple of blocks to the Prospect Street medical building where Medeiros worked, as if eager to greet her, or lies in the street. She howled the day Medeiros died and runs right to her grave when the family brings her to Oak Grove Cemetery. Darlene said she could swear Sheldon the turtle misses her daughter, too.

"The light in the house has gone out permanently," she said.

The holidays — and all days — are a lot quieter and emptier without Medeiros. But sources of comfort have emerged for the heartbroken.

The Christmas tree in the living room initially seemed to mock the Tetreaults in their grief. Now it stands as a tribute to their daughter. After the crash, mourners began adorning the branches with pictures of Medeiros, inspirational quotes and handmade ornaments, accompanied by white feathers and twinkling lights. The tree, which remains up, has given the Tetreaults reason to smile in their darkest hour.

"It became a celebration of life," Darlene said.

That's what those who loved Medeiros do with their love now — celebrate her life. They gather to talk about what she gave to them, visit her grave and host benefits in her name.

On Thanksgiving, good friends plan to keep the Tetreaults company. Between the eating and drinking, the laughs and tears, the conversation and silence, Darlene and Steve Tetreault will try to remember all the good their daughter brought to their lives.

And they will give thanks.

Phil Devitt can be reached at editor@fallriverspirit.com or (508) 979-4492.