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So says a letter writer who was offended by a Dec. 28 front-page story on a lawsuit filed by the freshman state legislator against four constituents for injuries he said were caused by an uneven sidewalk outside a West Scranton home. He is suing the owners and a couple who lived there at the time.

Mr. Flynn, a Democrat, former boxer and mixed martial arts fighter, says he was jogging on March 22, 2011, when he tripped on the sidewalk and suffered a bruised elbow and a "slightly separated shoulder," whatever that is. He didn't have health insurance at the time, and now figures he's owed more than $50,000 for his troubles. Pavement doesn't give like canvas.

Mr. Flynn's suit deserved mention in the paper, the letter writer conceded, but it warranted no more ink than the average chicken dinner, church casino night or winter clothing drive.

"The proper place to put it was in Courthouse Notes, like another case that was in the paper the same day," he wrote.

"(Mr. Flynn is) just like the person cited on Page Five."

No, he's not. Mr. Flynn is an elected official and a public figure who gave up any expectation of being a private citizen the day he decided to jog for office. A freshman legislator suing constituents because he was ambushed by a crooked sidewalk is front-page news. Besides, it's a dramatic story that shines a light on a genuine urban menace: inanimate slabs of concrete with a taste for blood.

These delinquent sidewalks are all over the city, skipping school, smoking cigarettes and jeering at senior citizens whose walkers and Hoverounds can't navigate their jagged angles. When will the mayor and city council get serious about protecting citizens from uneven jogging surfaces? How many Marty Flynns have to fall before something is done?

Give Mr. Flynn credit for observing the Rhythm Method of Politics - timing truly is everything. The suit, which surely would have angered many voters, wasn't filed until after the election. Voters have short memories, however, and Mr. Flynn may have stumbled upon a revolutionary campaign slogan: "Vote for me, or I'll jog by your house."

Back to the letter writer, who found it "odd that you would put a news story like that on the front page. You should treat everyone equally. I think an apology is in order."

We're all about equality here at The Times-Tribune, but we can't help pointing out that some of us seem more "equal" than others. We don't apologize for noting that crooked sidewalks aren't the only uneven part of the playing field here in Northeast Pennsylvania.

In a Cinderfella story that makes Rocky Balboa's rematch victory over Apollo Creed seem bland by comparison, Mr. Flynn somehow convinced voters he can be a contender in Harrisburg.

It's too soon to judge whether his lawsuit will shake their confidence, but it's safe to say that if the Italian Stallion had pancaked during his iconic jaunt up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the movie might have had a far less satisfying climax.

"Yo, Adrian! I tripped!"

With his election in November, Mr. Flynn gained entry into one of the most exclusive clubs in the state - the Pennsylvania Legislature. Like Scranton, the city of Harrisburg is dead broke and circling the proverbial bowl, but under the Capitol Rotunda, life is good.

Base pay for legislators is more than $80,000, and lawmakers in leadership positions make more than $100,000. That's before obscenely generous health and dental benefits. Mr. Flynn will also receive $163 in per diems each "work" day, money he can spend any way he likes, tax-free.

If he manages to last five years in the Legislature, Mr. Flynn will be guaranteed a monthly pension check for life. He is 37. If this government gig works out, he can retire at 50 with full benefits.

Meanwhile, the median household income for Mr. Flynn's constituents is about $38,000. Many people who pay the bills in those households can't count on pensions and can't afford proper funerals, let alone retirement. If they could claim just half of his $163 per diems, they would feel like they hit the lottery.

The "Mountain" quoted at the beginning of this column is Harlan "Mountain" McLintock, played by Jack Palance in the original "Playhouse 90" production. He is a fictional character, but his story is all truth.

He isn't in Pittsburgh. He's in Boston, getting the snot beat out of him by a younger, faster, fiercer fighter. He is a used-up palooka whose next fight could kill him. His own manager bets against him, and his friends disappear as they run out of ways to use him.

Instead of suing his constituents, Mr. Flynn should watch the movie. He might learn something about which battles are worth fighting. His political career in just beginning, but he already looks a little dizzy.

CHRIS KELLY, the Times-Tribune columnist, has fallen flat countless times, but has never blamed anyone but himself. Contact the writer: kellysworld@timesshamrock.com, @cjkink on Twitter

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