CeruleanFandom: Stargate SG-1Rated: GCategory: Gen, Humor. Team.Season: Any. Carter is a Major.Spoilers: None.Summary: Christmas is a hard time to have the blues.Word Count: 478.Note: Written for the 2012 Ancient Obsessions Advent Prompt: Please Come Home for Christmas (Eagles Song). Only one tiny holiday reference.

xxx

Jack heaved a huge sigh, then glared at Daniel.

“You just had to touch it, didn’t you?”

Daniel shrugged. “Well…”

Jack held one finger up and pointed at Daniel’s chest. “No, really. What’d I say?”

Teal inclined his head toward his team leader. “Indeed, O’Neill. I believe you said exactly that.”

“Thank you! At least someone was listening!” said Jack, gesturing grandly in Teal’c’s direction before rounding back on Daniel. “But what’d you do? You touched it. And now look at us!”

“I’m sure it’s not permanent, Sir,” offered Sam.

Jack’s glare shifted enough to give his 2IC an eye roll.

“That’s not the point, Major.”

“Yes, sir,” said Sam, managing to extricate herself from the conversation just as Daniel rejoined it.

“It could’ve been worse,” offered the archeologist.

“Yes!” yelled Jack. “It could’ve! It could’ve been a lot worse! It could’ve vaporized us! And THAT is the point!”

“I know, but…” argued Daniel. He didn’t get very far, though, before Jack was at him again.

“No! No buts! No arguments, rationalizations, or excuses! Just don’t do it again! Are we clear?”

Daniel nodded mutely, choosing discretion as the better part of valor for now.

Jack nodded decisively. “Good. Now let’s get out of here.”

Daniel held up a hand, about to protest, but again Jack cut him off.

“No, Daniel! We’re leaving. A science team can come back here to catalog this stuff. You can come then if you want, but for now, we’re leaving. I’m tired and we all need showers. We’re going home.”

Daniel nodded again as Jack stomped out of the latest cave of wonders SG-1 had found and made his way to the Stargate. After a moment, Sam and Teal’c moved to follow their CO and Daniel slowly went along with them.

He hated to leave, but he couldn’t argue Jack’s point about cleaning up. He did really need a shower.

Of course, after he took his, he very nearly wished that the ancient booby trap P4X-781 had sprung on them had been fatal.

As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, eyes wide in horror, he nodded to himself. He was pretty sure death would be an improvement over his current situation.

By the end of the week, he was no longer just pretty sure about that. He was certain.

Yes, the next time Daniel Jackson touched something he shouldn’t, he’d pray for death.

After all, a mercy killing was far preferable to a week of Jack’s glares, and it was most certainly better than the sniggers the rest of the SGC directed at its flagship team when SG-1 showed up at the annual holiday party dyed a quite lovely shade of blue.

xxx

A/N: So, um, yeah. The only line that spoke to me from the song was this one: “Oh what a Christmas to have the blues.” Sorry. Except not really. I rather like the idea of a smurfy SG-1.