Included in this week is the cure for people who are sickened by Lance Armstrong, a way to shut up constant complainers and proof that encouragement from your friends is still no excuse for following through on a bad idea.

And yes, there are is a jab or two at those guys running for president.

THINK BEFORE YOU LEAP

It's not just a good metaphor for life. It's also sound advice for German guys in little shorts who like to hang out with foul-mouthed friends.

Anyone who is not frightened by the above statement may proceed. Everyone else, please wait for the next available shuttle.