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Second chapter is coming up on 9000 very quickly. Just a tad under at the moment, and not done.

And I haven't packed John off to Afghanistan yet. My solution for the death of Singh and, eventually, Sherlock and Co. flying away from Earth in suspended animation will take some work. I'm wondering if I'm looking at yet a third 9000 word chapter BEFORE I try to decide if I'm going to do a Sherlock POV for the events of BC: IS?

It's good to be writing again. But on the other hand, I'm being so good and sitting on the whole thing and it's taking FOREVER.

I finished the first big chunk of the Khan thing, then hated it, then stopped for a month. Finally got restarted this week on the second section, when I figured out that the best way to deal with the thing I couldn't get past was just not to write that. Bam. Out of there! Moving on.

This week I really got rolling. I have looked up hand anatomy, made John braid a little girl's hair, researched British infantry rifles (also uniforms) and NATO ammunition, and when John found out Sherlock had been shot four times, he kicked out their dinner guests and ripped off his (Sherlock's!) clothes.

My Brain. Let me show you it.

ETA: Rereading what I wrote yesterday. Sherlock just tells John about getting shot. I like not showing Sherlock's training to the reader, just letting the augmented humans reappear suddenly after a long absence. But in my head there's interesting stuff going on when Singh starts shooting people, and I'd like to have that in the story. I had an alternate POV in the previous section, provided by an OC, another augmented human who would have been part of the training. I could use her again and it would fit.

Maybe write it and decide where I want to put it. Maybe I could put it out of chronological order somewhere.

Uisgich: So how's the fic coming along?CK: I'm just under 5000 and have gotten up to the pre-mutation confession and first kiss.Slowed down a bit due to reading. But I think tomorrow morning should be a productive writing session, assuming I wake up in time.Uisgich: Excellent!!CK: Tomorrow should be a grope and snog prior to The Procedure, plus hopefully some or all of the interval while John waits for the procedure to be done. Next week, romantic development while the augments have augment school. Then by next weekend, want to be writing the pacification of the subcontinent, South Central Asia, and the Middle East.

This morning [writing of grope and snog proceeds apace, then...]

CK: The Barbarian is now a true hazard to my writing. She just came over here and started not only reading, BUT READING OUT LOUD. OMG! Covering her eyes!Uisgich: =gigglesnorts=CK: Clicking minimize! Yelling and giggling!Uisgich: The perils of being a Writer!Mom!

The last fiction I posted was in October, prompted by Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day. I had the frantic attempt to reach 50k during NaNo back in November. And I have not written anything since November 30, 2012.

It's been a long, gloomy winter. My mood has been very poor, but I've been reading like a maniac. I exhausted Cap/Iron Man, moved on to 007/Q, and then got sucked into Sherlock via the wonderful and tempting trope of Q and Sherlock being brothers. For personal fannish reasons I was inclined to resist Sherlock/John, but I caved pretty spectacularly once I got started.

This spring, Brain slowly started thinking to itself again, but nothing remotely writable. Entertaining to me, however, but also weird that the restart of Brain made it so clear that everything had shut down over the winter.

Then, on Monday: there's Benedict Cumberbatch, being all evil in Star Trek, and Brian was like, "Of course he's going to do those horrible, crazy things, John's part of his frozen crew."

On Tuesday and Wednesday: I prod Wikipedia for Khan's back story,* then spend 48 hours trying to figure out how Sherlock Holmes would become the benign dictator of Asia and the Middle East. Not to mention a war criminal. (I can hear Sherlock now. "BORED!" It's much more Mycroft's thing, assuming he would ever bother to do his own legwork.) But I complained to Zats that although I could easily make Sherlock a super-soldier, and I could with a little work make him a war criminal and dictator, I couldn't get John and Sherlock to talk to each other in my head.

This morning: I woke up and knew exactly what to do. I popped open my template document, fixed it for Sherlock instead of Stargate, and wrote 500 words like breathing. John and Sherlock are chattering away, like Jack and Daniel used to do. I could have kept going, except that I have other things to do today.

I predict 5000 words by the end of the weekend. The last three days have been so wonderful. I didn't realize how much I missed that why-am-I-working-not-writing feeling.

So, I have questions.

1. Was I depressed because I wasn't writing or not writing because I was depressed? Seems like a VERY LONG SAD this year, if it was SAD. Actually, I should go back and check. Did SAD reach into May last year, too?

2. Was I not writing because I was depressed, or was I not writing because I was between fandoms? Stargate is long, but I started writing it after immersion, and with immersion, the Stargate cannon is manageable. Bond ought to be the same - but I had trouble writing mission-fic, how the hell was I going to write a plausible Bond story? Avengers fandom is huge, but why not launch from MCU? Lots of other people didn't hesitate. Sherlock is just beyond my reach. I'm like Lestrade. Completely amazed by Sherlock, but a complete idiot at deduction and how it works. Then, Trek? Really? I admit that I am not really a fan of Trek. I've watched masses of it - every episode of TOS when I was a kid (though not as an adult), and most of DS9, Voyager, Next Generation. I actually adore Enterprise. I've seen most of the movies, too. I remember about 10% of it and have been mostly MEH about the whole thing, with the exception of Enterprise and the fourth movie, with the whales and the transparent aluminum. A reboot? Really? I can't understand why people are so shocked at "recycled" Star Trek plots. What do they expect from a reboot? Anyway, so I was between fandoms, but Brain, why would a Trek crossover suddenly be the magical fandom solution?

Brain. I will never understand you, you ridiculous sack of chemicals. I just hope you are more sane when you come out the other side of menopause, is all I'm saying.

*Dear Lord, please at least give them some credit for just ignoring the name rather than trying to make BC do the role in blackface. Just appalling. Why would they write a script like that deliberately THEN go get an actor and do the makeup like that?!

I am not writing. Well, Brian is still producing stories, but they are mostly useless Skyfall/Sherlock crossovers that will never get written because I am not competent to write in either fandom.

I am reading, however. Lots. After my Avengers orgy of the summer and fall, I tumbled into a similarly ravenous reading of 007/Q and Sherlock. It was a very bad thing that I figured out how to sort by kudos on AO3. A very bad thing.

I feel a bit adrift in the virtual world right now, since my ranging afield from Stargate has me without clear co-conspirators. zats_clear hasn't even SEEN Skyfall. The Spammers all have tangental interest in all three fandoms, but they mostly do the Supernatural gig.

If you are looking for some good reading in 007/Q with a health side of 007&006 bromance, I recommend the writing duo of Kryptaria and Bootsnblossoms - Krpytaria on AO3. I previously rec'd Ordinary Numbers, which is still my favorite. I also rec Mercenary (Q-as-field-agent helps 006 bring a rehabilitated oo7 back into the fold), Bound (shibari and knife play, totally PWP, but scorching hot), and it looks like In Name Only (consensual slavery AU based on a book series called The Marketplace) will be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to a fic they've been chatting up on Tumblr - cover art suggests Q works for Stark Industries. :D They post WIP, which make me twitch a little, but they don't seem to start posting until the story is entirely in beta. (I actually suspect that posting in chapters is in part a way gaming AO3 to boost hits and kudos, but that's probably just me being annoyed at my twitchiness waiting for the chapters to post each day.) Kryptaria has also posted some fun Sherlock stuff, but it looks like she may have left that fandom behind. Looks like there's at least one abandonded WIP there.

I do think that my SAD tends to make me a passive consumer rather than an active producer. And I think it was a bad winter for SAD, because not only did I not write, but I quit yoga, too.

It is possible that part of my block is coming from the original fic, which I haven't touched since NaNo finished. It just doesn't interest me. Brain doesn't spontaneously write it for fun. *sigh* I feel like I should put the effort into trying to finish it, and that may be preventing me from wanting to step out into something totally fun, if ridiculous, like Bondlock. I have actively been thinking about filing the serial numbers off Local Angel. I wrote it as a Stargate AU, but it is so far to the left, I could easily tweak some ideas and turn it into something original. I don't know. I'm not too unhappy where I am now, so I will probably toodle along some more and we'll see what we see.

ETA: Those people reading this before I edit it, I AM NOT DRUNK. Both children are chattering in my ear, and apparently it generated a variety of odd typos and misspellings.

It's funny, I recently made the same anology to falling in love. This whole Avengers thing has had that feel to it, that can't-read-fast-enough, can't-stop-thinking-about-it feeling, like a new crush. I remember it with my two previous fandoms - my serious fandoms, not my brief fandom friendships and flirtations - and also, I am having the same feeling that I am betraying my old fandom with the new one.

I'm a serial monogamist. I fought so hard not to lose LOTR RPS, but I haven't had a real thought about it in years, despite still-lingering guilt about Throw Away. I'm having the same feeling of SG-1 slipping through my fingers. And the same feeling of resistance to writing in the new fandom that I had when LOTR was slipping away.

It makes me think about muses again. Not only do stories seem to write themselves, but also writing can feel like a relationship with a person.

After my declaration last night that Thor must be a character in all of my original fiction, my brain must have picked that idea up and run with it, because a scene started writing itself, and now I have two original characters and the seeds of a possible story idea. Which is not genrally something that happens to me. But this is how most of my writing ideas start - a story intrudes on my mind and mostly writes itself. It's just startling for it to be not other people's characters with fully developed histories - i.e. fanfic.

And yes, Thor is in it, but I'm not really counting him as one of the OCs. :) And it is not Thor fanfic or anything. But it is defintely the Thor character from the movie, but I'm not worrying about that right now. I mean, in the sense that he walks, talks, and behaves like that Thor, not that he has that Thor's story.

So! I have my J/D ficathon assignment, and this is what I get for trying to lure zats_clear into the fray.

"Only 1000 words" I said.

Though as she was not lured (at least, I don't think she was! I haven't checked the signup list in a couple of days!), I don't know why I'm getting punished for my behavior. *grumbles*

One of my optional prompts is for something much more serious than I would ever attempt and requires research, while the other prompt makes so little sense to me I am probably going to have to consult other people for their interpretations. I have already asked our Mel for her thoughts.

I should not complain. The required prompts are quite writable. But I like to do the whole package if I can, and if I fall back on the required prompts I got, well, there's no challenge there at all.

Wow. Was that whiney enough?

That said, research this morning was strangely productive. It's weird what a paralegal can bring to the research and writing process. I got a hit in my first Webcrawler page for exactly the thing I was looking for to resolve one of the problems.

FIL is sleeping upstairs. Baby squawked, talking in her sleep about her granddaddy. I slapped the parent unit off, threw on enough clothes to be warm and got up. But it was just a little grumble, not a big wake up. So I snuck downstairs, ate a bunch of Christmas cookes, drank some Mountain Dew, put on some banned music, and hunted up my project that I want to finish no later than Jan 16.

It feels weird. I'm not even sure I know how to do this anymore. But I almost got sidetracked by two *ancient* WIPs in my Fiction file. I think that's a good sign. :)

Just to let you know, what with the ceiling collapse and whatnot, RL has been kicking my ass. Yes, the ceilings have been replaced and strengthened, but we STILL have not restored this place entirely to normal - i.e. there are still filthy legos on the back porch, stuffed animals as yet uncleaned, and drawers still to be vacuumed, among other delightful tasks still to be completed. And we will not even mention, I am still 30 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with The Barbarian, oh, almost 3 years ago.

I was stressing in ways that don't even bear mentioning, trying to figure out how to get back to exercising, get all the household tasks accomplished, work a 40 hour week, chase a 2-year-old, and pursue my time-consuming hobbies. So I made a decision. As much as there are some things that I want to be writing, I just can't. And in fact, The Brain also WON'T. Not right now. Whenever I sit down to write, I just don't have the energy, patience, or inclination. I read instead.

So instead, I'm doing other useful things.

First, I'm converting all my del.icio.us bookmarks into entries on my library pages. My goal is to add one day from del.icio.us per day til they are all caught up. I started with the SG-1 page which now has a bunch of new entries on it. SGA page will follow, and probably take longer, because there is much more new stuff coming out in SGA than in SG-1.

As I've said before, these pages are a record of what I have been reading, so that I can find things again if I want to, though I will be adding other stuff later - old stuff, that I have to go and track down the links. If I had known about del.icio.us BEFORE I started the pages, I might not have bothered, but I like having everything in this journal, so I'm continuing the pages. Easier to share! Hopefully, I will be better at this bit of housekeeping after I get it caught up. Like the tags and memories. For anyone who wants to prod me on del.icio.us, my bookmarks are here.

Second, I am trying to add at least one page per day to my website. If you wish to prod that, you will find it at brainofck.110mb.com. Please use the email contact there to let me know any thoughts you have about the site, or any dead links that do not go to a page clearly created by ME! I have created a dead links page. You will know I created it when you see it. :) If you get sent to an ad for 110mb's services, or if my porn is hijacked by nekkid chicks and gambling websites, please let me know!

So I'm not dead. I'm trying to give The Brain a break, and also to get back into some discipline of the body.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking about the Wingspan universe and my crazy crossover, so when I do come back, I can come back at 70 wpm.

If I can get this sucker together between now and next Thursday, it can even be pretend canon for a couple of hours. Heck. Depending on how fast the Burn Notice plot moves, its pretend canon-ness could last a whole week - maybe two!

It is SO gonna happen. I even know how. I've even figured out a couple of plausible reasons why.

I don't know if this is evidence of my own twisted brilliance or just the result of BSG's open-ended scriptwriting, the incestuous nature of the pool of talent that inhabits medium-sized, high-quality television shows (and Canada), and the Stargate universe's general vulnerability to cracked-out plotlines.

I'm going with "my own twisted brilliance."

So. Universe, please provide four or five solid hours of writing time, kthnx. And also, I need some inspiration to up the rating. Because Id is SO not getting prison sex. Absolutely not. Ego prides herself on not writing totally pointless porn, and Superego absolutely puts her foot down.

I am going to both post a new post and update the old post because my vanity is so wounded I think it is so important that I correct the mistaken impression created by my previous post.

Thank you SO MUCH, by the way, to everyone who replied to that post! As someone unfamiliar with the genre, your thoughtful, in depth answers will be very useful.

But just to be clear, it was a research question about what a character might be reading.

I was not planning to go get a bunch of them as research into writing style, etc. *cringes* Personally, outside of aliens-made-them-do-it type scenarios, I cannot abide rape-fic. Non-con in a "realistic" setting just becomes rape to me, and... *shudders* One of the people commented that she did think that rape was an effective plot tool when it was committed by the villain, allowing the villain to get his ass thorougly kicked later, and I get that, but I despise the movie Rob Roy specifically for the use of that plot device. It's just not me. *shudders again*

And OMG. My cat STINKS! Yes, I realize that is totally unrelated, but she's sitting here in my lap and OMG!

I know next to nothing about Harlequin type novels or the heavier-hitting romance writers like Danielle Steele (?) and people like that.

So. Where would you read a story with rape-fantasy in it - you know, non-consensual sex that turns out to be OK because it was unexpectedly, fantastically pleasurable or non-consensual sex that turns out to be OK because the person really secretly wanted it. The really hot, sexy guy who wouldn't take no for an answer, yay.

You know. The dreck I write. *rolls eyes at self*

Who would write that? Is that a Harlequin?

EDIT: Just to be clear, I was asking this question because one of my characters will be reading something, and I wanted to realistically express what that character would be reading. :)

Seriously. princessofg and I must be brain twins or something, because I've been thinking about doing this all day, but I decided not to, because I'm really trying not to write. Anyway, Her Royal Highness granted me permission to do it anyway and said it would be good.

What impossible thing should I invest way too much brainpower in finishing? How shall I torture myself while commuting?

Anyway, so there's my remix experience, in a nutshell. I am actually pretty happy with how it came out, especially considering the RL time constraints I have been under. I should extend a special thank you to Little Sister, who kindly slept in the past several days, letting me get up at godawful early hours on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today to write and edit. Another special thanks to green_grrl, who's excellent edit and suggestions were the only reason I was able to post this morning, so quickly after realizing I had the deadline wrong.

Will I remix again? That remains to be seen. Remixing is hard work. But it was fun.

Now, she may have just been saying she would really like pictures of explicit man on man action and my stories really make her crave that.

But it also made me think something. When I'm writing, it's a little movie running inside my head, and I just describe what I see, like relating what's happening on a TV screen to someone over the phone. It's a very visual and aural experience. I just try to be as descriptive as possible getting it down in a written form.

Does that happen to everybody when they write?

Also, and I think I've said this in other posts and comments, when I'm writing the most fluently it does feel very much like the story is coming to me from the outside. I suppose that must happen to a lot of people - that's probably why the Greeks invented Muses to govern creative activity. When I actually feel like it is me writing, I am usually very unhappy with the process and the result, though there have been a few stories I finished that way anyway and people liked them.