Weak Points

This is the problem when you are a passionate kind of person. I thought it’s a good trait to have. But as I grew older, I just hoped it has never been innate to me. I don’t need to get attached and get dumped. It’s painful.

I learned to build up walls in order for me not to get hurt. For new colleagues, new friends, new people I meet. For me it isn’t being anti-social but being careful. When I say I want to be your friend, I mean it and it means for a lifetime. However, there are people who just took it for granted and I take all the blame for that.

Sometimes, I even question myself. What’s wrong with me? Why do people leave? What did I do wrong? And not having the answers is the worst part.

So I try to limit my circle. I try not to give my all. I try not to be passionate. I try to be unemotional so I could save my heart for future pain. I try to limit reaching out. I try not to care. I try not to over analyze. I’m scared of rejections, I’m not good at handling it. But that’s not who I am.

I give my all. I am passionate. I am emotional. I want reaching out because I care. I still over analyze. And I’m still scared of rejections. Fudging scared of it. And that’s who I am. Me and my weak points.

But it’s okay. The thing I must realize is how to fit in. Acceptance. And courage. This is who I am.

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Well. This is, for most of the time, the hardest part to fill in. Maybe because I am not the type of person who loves to talk about herself. But in this site you can read the pieces of my life, my ups and downs, my victories and defeats. This is the only outlet where my brain can team up with my heart. For everyone who can't construct the words in the clouds of life. Happy reading! ❤️
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