10 Crazy Cool Pieces Of Star Wars Merchandise

What do you buy the Star Wars fanatic who has everything? Perhaps one of these item would make them squeal with delight!

Darth Vader Toaster

Who wouldn’t want their toast to get a little dark-sided? Although I have to admit, the perfectionist in me would have to make sure that Vader was black and I’m not really a fan of burnt toast. Decisions, decisions.

Space Slug Oven Mitt

This is all kinds of awesome. It would be an honor to stick my hand up an Exogorth’s bottom and fetch some Ahrisa from the oven.

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

Who wouldn’t want to sleep in the in the rank-smelling corpse of a Tauntaun? Looks cozy!

Lightsaber Chopsticks

Having these might encourage me to practice my chopstick skills! Although I might insult the sushi master when I start dueling my dining partner over the last piece of toro.

Wampa Skin Rug

No Slave Girl Leia fantasy would be complete without this rug. ‘Nuff said.

Slave Leia Perfume and Eau Lando Cologne

I know I want my man to smell like Lando! Okay, I want him to be Lando. What can I say… I have a thing for porn ‘staches.

Jedi Bath Robe

I feel the dark side taking me over just looking at this robe! Bubble baths just got more badass!

Chewbacca Backpack

If I was a kid I would totally wanna carry my bookie in a wookie. Yup! I also think I’m a dork for writing that.

C3PO Tape Dispenser

This is so amazingly wrong. I love it. And clearly by the expression on his face, C3PO loves it too.

R2D2 Meat Smoker

Um…yes please! My love of meat and Star Wars together at last!

So do you want all of these too? Or is it just me? Tell me what you love in the comments!

Desi Jedeikin

Desi Jedeikin is a Los Angeles based writer and performer. She has appeared in numerous sketch comedy/improv shows at venues in L.A., including the Groundlings Theater, Comedy Central Stage, and the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, where she played Squeaky Fromme in the infamous alternative comedy show Comedy Death Ray. Unfinished projects include a memoir and a musical based on the life and death of JonBenet Ramsey. She has lots of other brilliant ideas she might complete. She really just needs more encouragement.
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