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GoldenEye Revamp Dead and Buried

Rare says that it's highly unlikely gamers will ever see a revamp of the classic Nintendo 64 shooter.

Even though Rare's Perfect Dark has been greenlit for a new appearance via Xbox Live Arcade, there's very little chance that the holy grail of Nintendo 64 shooters -- GoldenEye 64 -- will ever climb out of its current home of dusty old cartridges.

A new edition of "Scribes" over on the official Rare website pretty much confirms that seeing a new version (or old port) of the seminal shooter is not going to happen. This via VG247:

"That was some time ago, my friend," said a Rare rep, answering a question on the status of a revamp for the shooter in the latest edition of Scribes.

"Fate was against us that day. Destiny conspired to raise the hurdles even as we attempted to clear them, resulting in unpleasant groinal injury.

"I suspect we're long past the stage where an agreement was on the cards, but you never know. Stranger things have happened… somewhere… probably."

Bummer.

Those textures. My eyes!

Bryn says: Not too long ago I took it upon myself to dig up my old GoldenEye cart, plug it in and see if I could stomach playing this ancient shooter. Sure, at the time it was new, different and very awesome, but guess what? It's not aged too well, folks.

The appalling framerate was an affront to my reflexes and after five minutes I was done. Sometimes it's good not to look too far into the past.