No.316

THURSTON BENEDICT: INTERNATIONAL SUPER SPY

He bested George Smiley, he embarrassed Ethan Hunt and last, but certainly not least, he once told James Bond that drinking Martini's is kind of cliché.

The maverick's name, you ask? His name is Thurston Benedict, and he's an international super spy.

When he first got into the field of duty, Mr. Benedict excelled in every conceivable form of espionage; hacking computers, scaling buildings, being able to sniff out the nearest curry joint from 2km away. The word 'unstoppable' was thrown around quite a bit.

His named spread around the underworld like a runny yolk and soon, he was hunted by many. But thanks to his thick-as-20-wagon-wheels-turtle neck, bullets, knives and those ninja throwing star things were no use. Our boy Thurston couldn't be stopped.

... until one day a guy called Bradley Fillbottom, who wasn't even an arch-enemy or even a bad guy of any ilk (he just happened to work in a coffee house Thurston frequented) gave him the jovial nickname 'Thurston Eggs-Benedict'.

Thurston flew into a fit of rage, knocking over overpriced coffee after overpriced coffee. He was fired shortly after, when the head-honchos at MI5 saw his outrage in one of those internet videos.

Years passed, and the name Thurston Benedict dissipated into heresy, myth and legend. But if you want to dress like the infamous spy, we've got the garms for you...