Indy News #5: KSWA 7/9 results and CHIKARA

Ali Kaida Shocks KSWA Krazies With Controversial Win, Canadians Become New Number One Contenders For Tag Team Belts At Summertime Bruise

by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

With the bloodiest and most controversial match in Keystone State Wrestling Alliance history, Ali Kaida has become the new World Heavyweight Champion. The Latin Assassin lost the match when ally Mitch Napier made an unexpected move. In addition, the new KSWA Tag Team champs have new challengers from north of the border and Mayor Mystery continues to make an unparalleled impact on the KSWA.

Great Toyota v. The Blood Beast (w/Mayor Mystery)

The first match of the evening featured The Legion of the Apocalypse’s Blood Beast, who has inexplicably targeted The Great Toyota for destruction. Mayor Mystery once again berated the Lawrenceville faithful and KSWA Krazies in general. In the opening moments, it was The Blood Beast in complete control. The strongest member of the KSWA locker room, The Blood Beast pounced upon and punched Toyota without regard for his opponent. Toyota did try to get some offense with a flying body block but Beast caught him and slammed the Japanese export. Mayor Mystery told Blood Beast to rip Toyota’s mask off as he “hated masks.” A big forearm felled Toyota and he picked him up for a big punch. Beast spilled Toyota over the top rope and onto the concrete floor. Mayor Mystery attacked with his cane. Referee Justin Smith broke it up. Beast continued. He rolled Toyota back in. Mystery repeatedly asked the Krazies to “give it up” for the Blood Beast. They didn’t. Two choke slams later, Beast got the win. On the outside, Blood Beast slammed Toyota into the ring post and then onto the floor. Toyota was dragged back to the back by the referee as Mayor Mystery and Blood Beast taunted the Krazies.

Jay Flash v. “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin (w/Frank Durso)

Next up is Jay Flash versus VIP Founding Member, “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin. Flash races to the ring, primed and ready. Martin approaches with Advisor Frank Durso in tow. As per usual, Martin takes his time sauntering around the ring, pointing a wooden bat at fans. Referee Jimmy James bends the rope for Martin, who raises his bat in defiance of the boos. Flash paces, one eye on Durso. Jimmy James checks Lou’s boots and has a difficult time getting the KSWA Hall of Famer and the bat, out of the ring. Fans shout encouragement to Flash. James calls for the bell. The Megastars circle one another. Flash punches Martin onto the outside. Flash leaps onto him, slaps a chair in excitement then tosses him back in. Flash slams Martin then goes for a pin. Two. Flash on top of Martin punches the VIP 10 times. The crowd enjoys it. Flash suplexes Martin. Roll over for two. Martin’s slow in getting up. He’s in the corner, Flash flips him out. There’s a big boot to Martin’s mush in the corner then a flurry of boots. Martin resorts to a low blow. Martin drapes Flash over the middle rope and into Durso’s eager clutches. The fans try to get Jimmy James’ attention but Durso has weakened Flash. Martin punches and kicks. Leg drop. Two count after Martin screams for the count. Martin gets Flash in the corner where he’s peppered with punches and boot to the throat. Durso distracts James for a long time. Martin back elbows Flash. Martin takes him to a different corner. The fans shout “garbage pants” at Martin’s attire. Martin whips Flash into the corner but Jay bounces out and hits a clothesline then a bodyslam. Flash goes for a pin. Two. Twisting neck breaker on Martin. Two count. Martin pleads for girls at ringside to help. The don’t. Flash sets Lou up for an impressive kick off the ropes. Two and a half count. Another drop. Two and a half count again. Jay goes for a cannon ball maneuver from the top rope. Golden Triangle Champion Bobby Badfingers appears at ringside long enough to distract Flash. He steps back into Martin’s Death Certificate. Badfingers disappears behind the curtain. Lou gets the win. He and Durso celebrate in the ring. Flash is left to his own devices in the ring.

Tag Match: Johnson and Arcadian v. Douglas and The Jester

An interesting tag match is next. Alex Arcadian and “Ice Man” Tony Johnson hit the ring to take on Del Douglas and The Jester. Alex and Tony approach, not the best of friends but ready to team together. The Jester and Douglas are introduced next and it becomes a zoo. The Krazies show their displeasure for the duo from Millvale. Jester and Douglas hit before the bell is rung. Alex and Tony recover quickly and take control. Johnson slams Arcadian and tags the Yuma, Arizona resident in. Arcadian slams Douglas then tags Johnson, encouraging him to do the same. He does impressively. They allow Douglas to tag The Jester in. Johnson is all over him. Headlock, Jester pushes him off but Johnson drops him. Arcadian is tagged back in. Arm bar, whip, then clothesline on Jester. Then another. Jester recovers but Arcadian is still in control. He gets Jester in the corner for some chops. Jester regroups, hits Arcadian but Alex again regains control. He body splashes The Jester. Referee Justin Smith is in the way long enough for Jester to move from a second splash. Arcadian is leveled. Douglas is tagged back in and he’s all over Arcadian. He hits Arcadian with the first from the second rope. Two count. A huge chop on Arcadian. The Jester is tagged in and they suplex Arcadian. They go for a pin but Johnson breaks it up. Jester all over Arcadian. Two count on Arcadian. Jester chokes him in the center of the ring. They get Arcadian into the corner. Douglas is tagged back in. Another two count on Alex. Douglas gets Arcadian in a headlock. Douglas whips him into the ropes and a Jester knee. Arcadian is still down when Jester is tagged back in. Jester chokes Alex again. He breaks the move before the five count. Jester over hand chops Arcadian. Arcadian in a burst of energy, side suplexes Jester. The Krazies are behind Alex who slowly gets to the corner before being moved by Jester. A huge kick to the head falls Jester. Johnson is tagged in and he clobbers both. Douglas outside. Jester a side slam. Johnson is slow in getting up as he too felt the impact of the side slam. He readies for a huge boot to The Jester’s chin and he gets the win! Post match: Douglas consoles Jester while Arcadian and Johnson are in the ring. They leave before the Millvale duo gets back.

Lord Zoltan v. Shawn Blanchard (w/Frank Durso)

Shawn Blanchard makes his way to the ring with Advisor Frank Durso. New tag team champion Lord Zoltan enters to a huge response from the Krazies. Zoltan is wearing a red shower cap with horns attached. He has the KSWA tag belt over his shoulder. He hands out leis to the crowd. Blanchard yips at the crowd. Referee Jimmy James is ready. Zoltan deliberately slows the pace before the match. Blanchard, like Zoltan a veteran, stands but is irritated at his former partner. The crowd is electric for Zoltan. The mind games are in full swing. James check both Megastars. The Krazies get at Blanchard early on. They are in Blanchard’s head before he even locks up with Zoltan. Zoltan is on the apron and the Krazies are zanier than usual. Blanchard shakes his head. Zoltan goes into the crowd. They lock up. Blanchard is tossed outside. The fans scream “KSWA.” They lock up again. Zoltan goes for the eyes. Then the arm bar. Blanchard is up and buries a knee into Zoltan’s midsection. Durso goes after Zoltan in the corner. Referee Jimmy James is distracted. Blanchard goes for Zoltan’s hamstrings. Durso goes after Zoltan as Blanchard distracts the ref. Lord Zoltan is slow in the corner. Blanchard kicks at the veteran as James tries to get him off. Zoltan is up. It’s a rouse. Zoltan slams Blanchard’s head into the turnbuckle. Blanchard is down. Zoltan asks the crowd if he should bury a knee into Blanchard. They say yes. He does. Blanchard hangs onto the ropes. Zoltan pulls him out. Zoltan asks again. James is distracted and Zoltan does it again. In the corner, Blanchard gets planted in the belly. Zoltan whips him into the corner and follows with a knee. He tries again but Blanchard blocks it. Blanchard is in control with Zoltan in the corner. Back elbow. Two count on Zoltan. Blanchard is slow getting up but he slams Zoltan. Head butt from the middle rope misses when Zoltan rolls out of the way. They are both up and into a corner. Frank Durso awaits. Zoltan hits the sleeper on Durso. Soon Durso is out on the ring steps. Blanchard follows Zoltan out. Now on the apron, Zoltan applies the sleeper on Blanchard, who is still in the ring. Blanchard crumbles in the ring. Zoltan is on the outside. Jimmy James calls for the bell and announces that Shawn Blanchard is the winner by Count Out! The Krazies are puzzled as is Zoltan.

Canadian Perfect and Kris Kash and Shane Starr

The much-anticipated matchup to determine new Number One Contenders for the KSWA Tag Team Championship is on. Kris Kash and Shane Starr make their way to the ring then Canadian Perfection–Drew Belanger and J.P. Goulet–charge their way in and attack the one-time tag champs. Kash and Starr quickly gain the upper hand and toss their opponents to the outside. The fans chant “USA” and “Canucks Go Home” throughout the match. With the Canadians regrouping outside, Kash dives over the top rope onto them. The Krazies go nuts. Kash tosses Belanger back in under the bottom rope. He applies an arm bar on Belanger. He then moves to a wrist lock and tags in Shane Starr. Starr drops a leg onto Belanger’s arm and shoulder. Starr bends Belanger’s arm back and goes for a pin. One count. Kash is tagged in and trades places with Kash. Kash drops Belanger’s arm over the top rope. Kash pushes Belanger into a corner. He lands a clothesline and then his infamous tilt-a-whirl drop kick. Two count. Starr is tagged back in. Starr, who has embarked on a rigorous work out routine, easily gets Belanger into a standing suplex position. Starr brings Belanger into the corner with Kash who is tagged in. Kash drops a leg. Kash then focuses on the right arm. Somehow, Belanger gets up and gets offense on Kash. At the four minute mark–a long time in this match–Goulet is tagged in for the first time. Goulet gets an advance on Kash. There’s a bodyslam and two count on Kash. The Canadians get Kash into their corner. There’s a double team before Belanger is tagged back in. The Canadians stretch Kash’s legs out. Belanger side suplexes Kash. One count. Goulet whips Belanger into Kash (who’s now prone in a corner) and then Belanger whips Goulet into Kash. There’s a two count. Kash gets into the sitting position and Goulet kicks him before settling in on a rear chin lock. Goulet gets more offense before Belanger is tagged back in. Kash somehow gets to Shane Starr and he is on fire. Starr suplexes Goulet. Starr is all over Goulet and they get into the corner. Goulet is seated on the top turnbuckle. Starr hits an incredible superplex on Goulet. Starr goes for a pin but it’s broken up by Belanger. Goulet is up, Starr goes for a clothesline but misses. Goulet lands a side suplex. Goulet is on fire with clotheslines. Referee Justin Smith is distracted as Goulet goes for a pin. Belanger is tagged in and he goes after Starr. Belanger hits a drop kick then gets a two count. Starr rallies and gets momentum. After a while, Kash is tagged in and they land a double drop kick on Belanger. They get Belanger into place for a Doomsday Device. They land it. Kash goes for the pin but Goulet enters the ring and hammers Kash as the ref is somehow distracted by Starr. Goulet rolls an out-of-it Belanger on Kash and the referee gets back into place. He counts to three and the new Number One Contenders are Canadian Perfection! Belanger, the Cold Blooded Canadian and Goulet, the Flawless One, crow in the ring. Belanger mimics having the belt around his waist. Kash and Starr are dejected and head to the locker room.

Mitch hits the ring with aplomb. Bobby Badfingers comes to the ring as the fans boo Mayor Mystery. The referee, Justin Smith, calls for the bell. Mitch drives Bobby into the ropes, then breaks the hold. They go at it again. Mitch goes behind, Badfingers hip checks Napier to the mat. Two count. Badfingers says Napier grabbed the trunks. Mitch gets him in leg scissors and then breaks the hold and gets to his feet. The collar and elbow tie up. Badfingers forces him into the ropes. Sunset flip and drop kick from MItch onto Badfingers. Again they hook up. Badfingers goes for the sunset flip. Mitch ducks it. Punches Bobby. He falls to the floor. Mitch jumps to the middle rope. Badfingers pushes Mitch in. Napier shows strength by pushing the larger Megastar out. Badfingers two count. Mayor Mystery drapes Napier over the bottom rope and Mystery attacks with the cane. Again he plants the cane, this time into Mitch’s ribs. Ref is distracted by Badfingers as Mayor uses the cane on Mitch’s throat. Badfingers falls Mitch. Two count. Mystery again uses the cane. He leaves it so Badfingers can hit Mitch with it. Badfingers goes for the abdominal stretch. Badfingers and Mayor Mystery use each other for leverage until Smith breaks it up. Again they do it. Smith breaks it up. Mitch hip tosses Badfingers. Goes to the middle rope. Napier hits the sledge on Badfingers. Souix Falls Slam falls Badfingers. Mayor Mystery puts Badfinger’s foot on the bottom rope. The count is broken. Mayor gets into the ring, goes to hit Mitch with the cane. Mitch blocks it. He hits Mystery and then Badfingers. Referee Justin Smith calls for the bell and awards the win to Badfingers via disqualification. Post match: Interim Kommissioner Joe Perri calls for a rematch next week in Sharpsburg.

Last Man Standing Match: Ric Rumsky v. Vicious Vinnie Stone

Ric Rumsky comes into the ring, followed by Vinnie Stone for this anxiously-anticipated Last Man Standing Matchup. They enter into a couple of collar-and-elbow tie ups. Front face lock is applied by Stone but Rumsky breaks out of it. Stone once again hits the front face lock and goes to one knee. Rumsky reverses the move and hip tosses Stone to the mat. This hard-hitting contest starts with a display of technical maneuvers. Rumsky holds Stone down with the headlock until Stone hits a belly to back suplex. Rumsky holds on however. Stone breaks it and goes to the corner. He then slaps a sleeper-hold type hold on Rumsky. Rumsky is out. Referee Jimmy James begins the count out. He’s up at five. Vinnie clobbers him down. James counts again. At five, Rumsky begins to move. At six, Stone picks him up just to knock him down again. The count begins again. At four, Rummy is up. Stone goes for the spear and misses. He hits the corner post and falls outside. The count begins on Stone. At five, Stone is up. From the apron, Rumsky leaps and knocks Stone down. At six, he’s up. Rumsky goes after him again. They battle on the outside. Rumsky kicks Stone in the head. At eight, Vinnie is up. The Krazies shout for a chair. Rumsky grabs him and buries it in his midsection. Another count. Stone is up. Rumsky misses a kick. Stone knocks him down then hits him with a chair. At seven, Rumsky is up. Stone rams his head into the ring steps. Repeatedly. Then a forearm upper cut. Vinnie rolls him back in. Vinnie demands that Ric get up. The count gets to five and a half. Vinnie crushes him with a spear. Another count. At eight, James determines him to be up. Rumsky shouts “more.” Vinnie plants two huge clotheslines. Rumsky is rolling slowly on the mat. Incredibly, Rumsky is up again at six. A huge bodyslam lands Rumsky. He’s up at five. Vinnie hits a version of Mitch Napier’s Souix Falls Slam. Rumsky barely moves. Vinnie gets out of the ring and walks away. At seven, Rumsky is up. Rumsky still wants more. Vinnie tosses him outside. Stone pops him in the head. Vinnie takes him to the bar. Stone slams Rumsky’s head into the bar. Stone slams Rumsky into the wall then takes him back to the ring. Rumsky reverses Stone’s whip attempt into the ring post and Vinnie goes head first into the iron. Then Rumsky kicks him in the head. Rumsky gets back into the ring as Stone is up at 8. Back in the ring, Rumsky super kicks Stone and Vinnie spears Ric. Both men are down. There’s a nine count as both men rise to their feet. At nine and a half, Stone falls to the mat and Ric Rumsky is the Last Man Standing!

This is the Main Event and last shot for Kaida. Kaida has been challenging for the KSWA Heavyweight Champion for years. Ali Kaida makes his way to the ring with Mayor Mystery. Ali Kaida goes to the curtain to meet Latin immediately upon his arrival in the KSWA Arena at the Lawrenceville Moose. The Latin Assassin comes out and is face to face with Ali Kaida. Perhaps for the first time you can see that Ali Kaida towers over Latin and is much larger. Latin retreats behind the curtain and immediately goes in the back. Seconds later he comes back with Mitch Napier who is holding Mayor Mystery’s cane! The Krazies are into the match. Referee Jimmy James tries to gain order as Mitch leaves the ring, leaving only Ali Kaida and Latin Assassin inside. Referee Jimmy James checks both combatants. A thunderous USA is heard as Mitch slaps the apron on Latin’s behalf. Collar and elbow tie up as the two veterans rolls across the top rope. They break the hold. The measure one another in the ring. Latin gets a wrist hold on Kaida. Mayor Mystery waves the flag on the outside. Mitch holds fort outside, both eyes focused on Mayor Mystery. The Megastars in the ring feel each other out. Latin goes behind, driving Kaida to the mat. Front face lock on Kaida. Latin gets Ali Kaida up for a back elbow. Latin goes for a sleeper hold of sorts on Kaida but Kaida battles. Kaida gets up. Hip toss falls Kaida. Latin forces him down for a two count. Latin won’t let go of the hold. Latin gets Kaida’s throat on the middle rope. Latin tosses Kaida out. The are on the outside. Both men battle as Mayor Mystery is held at bay by Mitch Napier. Latin gets Kaida on the apron. The Megastars are back in. Latin back elbows Kaida then steps on his throat over the bottom rope. Latin slams Kaida but injures his back in the process. Kaida rolls to a seat on the outside, while Mitch attends to Latin. Kaida recovers and attacks Latin on the outside. Referee Jimmy James counts to six before both men are back in. Kaida is control, as he buries his thumbs into Latin’s temples. He then buries his shoulder into Latin’s midsection, then T Bone suplexes him. There’s a two and a half count. Latin is in a seated position before Ali Kaida body slams him. Kaida then attacks from the outside as Latin’s head is draped over the apron. Mitch Napier gets onto the apron and distracts the ref. Kaida continues to short cut Latin. Napier chases Mayor Mystery on the outside. Mayor Mystery falls. Kaida continues to clobber Latin. Then he wrenches Latin’s neck. Latin is a bloody mess. He is kicked to the outside. Mitch attends to Latin, Kaida crawls out and around after Latin. Latin forearms Kaida. Latin hits a huge chop. Latin gets a chair and hits Ali Kaida with it but it bounces up and catche’s Latin in the chin as well. Latin is dazed. Both men are busted wide open. Latin chops Kaida. They are back in and they trade punches. Latin goes for a back elbow but Kaida won’t fall. Latin goes for a suplex but hits his own. Both are down. Ali Kaida is the first one up. Kaida digs at Latin’s head. Both are up and hit a double clothesline. Kaida is up at the referee Jimmy James’ eight count. James asks Latin if he wants to continue and he does. Kaida follows up with heavy blows. Kaida hits a power bomb and gets a two and a half count! Latin gets up and via pure adrenaline, DDT’s Ali Kaida. Latin is up and excited. He goes for an elbow from the middle rope and misses. Ali Kaida is up and slaps on the Camel Clutch. After several bloody minutes, Jimmy James drops Latin’s hand twice and Latin keeps it up for the third time. However, he cannot break the hold. Minutes later he is still in the hold and unresponsive. Mitch Napier throws in the towel and Jimmy James calls for the bell! The winner of the match and the NEW KSWA Champion is Ali Kaida. The Krazies are in a tizzy and Latin Assassin is still unresponsive in the ring. Ali Kaida and Mayor Mystery celebrate. Moments later, Latin wakes up and is informed as to what happened. He is irate with Mitch and shouts “You wanted my strap? You should have asked for a shot!” They battle in the ring as Latin is still angry. Latin gets out of the ring, leaving Mitch alone.

CHIKARA: Guests from around the globe come together for Chikarasaurus Rex!

It’s guest stars galore when we present “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Sequel” in Reading and Philadelphia, PA later this month! In addition to the likes of British mat masters Johnny Saint and Johnny Kidd, we have up-and-coming stars Makoto and Tsukasa Fujimoto, and a bonafide legend of joshi, Mima Shimoda! If that’s not enough to pique your interest, we’ve also got returning pals El Generico, the inimitable Colt Cabana (appearing on July 31st) and Portia Perez (appearing on July 30th)! Have a look at what’s already announced for Sunday, July 31st: