Cheating Women & Size

Study: Having A Small Package Could Be The Best Thing For Your Relationship

Yes, I'm aware that sentence is rarely, if ever, written. The days in which a micro-dong comes in handy are likely few and far between. But men, today you can find a certain amount of solace in not properly filling out a pair of boxer briefs. A new study out of Kenya shows that men with smaller penises are far more likely to keep a woman!

Huh?

Yes, while dudes who are scared to take a ruler to their junk have been eternally scared that they can't fulfill a woman's needs, this new study should quell their nerves. It shows that men with large penises are cheated on more than those with smaller units. For the study, researchers questioned 545 couples throughout the country, asking them all about the relationships, and, more specifically, their extramarital affairs.

And, well, then they measured those guys' d*cks. Seriously.

The researchers took the erect measurement, because someone could be a grower, not a shower. And what they found was genuinely shocking. The study, which was published in PLOSOne, concluded that, "Women associate large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that women are supposed to feel." And that, according to this research, actually drives them to cheat.

So many men out there, although they'd never admit it, are feeling oddly secure in their masculinity right now. I'm sure for decades, legions of modestly hung men have assumed the polar opposite. If so, breathe easy, my friend. And if you're a guy who happens to fall into the other category, if you're one of those who are blessed in the johnson region, you may have some thinking to do. You may have to restrategize. Do you really want to cause your woman "pain and discomfort?" Methinks you don't. So slow down, cowboys. I know the adult film industry might teach you that all women love rapid-fire, jackhammeresque sexscapades, but according to these Kenyan researchers, that's far from the case.

And I know everyone reading this right now would say that this article doesn't pertain to you, but, guys, let's be honest — for some of you, it does. Embrace your size, men.