likelihood that people will be offended
if they think they don’t get enough
air-time or if they’re asked for their
opinion.

When I facilitate meetings, I oftensay, while making eye contact witheveryone: “At times I may cut you offif you’re going on a bit too long, or Imay call on you to enter the discussionbefore we move to the next point.” Insome groups, I’ve used the norm thatno person can make a second commenton an issue until everyone else in thegroup has spoken on it once.

Insist on Listening

In effective groups, participants really
work to understand one another. This
means listening to what’s being said,
and it also means paying attention to
facial expressions and body language.
“Part of our effectiveness will be based
on our sensitivity to one another,” I
might say when facilitating, “and I
want you to listen and look, to hear
and see how others are feeling. Please
try to observe how others react to
what’s being said, work to hear what
others believe, and make eye contact
to ensure that whatever we seem to
agree on is truly accepted by all.”
Again, being transparent about this
helps everyone become part of the
effort. No one wonders about what’s
happening or about the leader’s motivation. In fact, being explicit about
the importance of these factors is good
modeling and increases the likelihood
that group members will incorporate
these behaviors in meetings, whether
or not you’re present.

End Well

Endings matter, too. Everyone’s time
is valuable, and when meetings go
longer than planned (or needed), it
takes a toll. Five minutes before a
meeting is due to end, I find it helpful
to remind everyone of that fact: “OK,
let me hear from two more people, and
then I’ll close.” Closure should include
information about when the group
is meeting next and what needs to
happen before then.

In my November 2012 EL column,
I cited the work of the psychologist
Daniel Kahneman in differentiating
between memory and experience.

Kahneman (2011) showed that we
remember most vividly the end of
any experience, so we should design
carefully how a meeting will end. For
example, I’ve found it useful to conclude by asking folks to think about
what they learned that they can use
tomorrow or next week, and to share
this with someone sitting near them.
Doing this increases the likelihood that
people will reflect favorably on being
part of the group—and look forward
to coming to the next meeting.

By establishing norms of purpose
setting, pervasive participation, and
intense listening, leaders can attain
both group effectiveness and individual growth. Before the next
meeting you lead, consider what you
might do to elicit these behaviors in
the group. Chances are, this will make
it a better meeting for everyone—
including you! EL

Thomas R. Hoerr
(trhoerr@newcityschool.
org; www.thomasrhoerr.
com) is an education consultant, emeritus head of
school at the New City
School, and a teacher at
the University of Missouri-St. Louis. He
is the author of The Formative Five: Fostering Grit, Empathy, and Other Success
Skills Every Student Needs (ASCD,
2016). Follow him on Twitter @tomhoerr.