"Malcolm Walker, you got my tenner. I’m not sure watching the Iceland TV doc was a Damascene conversion, but it made me stop walking past my local store for a change.

That’s what you wanted, isn’t it Malcolm? Make those BBC Two-loving snobs check out your chest freezers of goodness. It wasn’t a bad wheeze – 180 minutes of exposure to 2.2 million viewers.

Yes, the horsemeat debacle was uncomfortable, but you came out of it in the end. Above all, the heart and soul that got Iceland voted Britain’s Best Big Company To Work For leapt out. Should do wonders for your recruitment, not to mention playing well with your customers.

One thing – I’m just not sure I really trust a man who boasts about telling porkies over his sales figures on Radio 4.

But thanks for giving me something else to remember you for than that dismal Kerry Katona. I’ll be back soon for those Bubble Bobble King Prawns."