The Life and Times of Me

Remedial training my ass!

I’m a deployment manager, okay?! It’s what I do. It’s what I know. And if I tell you to get your shit done and you don’t? I will be pissed. I may swear. A lot. Very unprofessionally. Especially if you have a scheduled leave date at the end of the month, CATM is completely full for the month, and you FAILED your fire arms test yesterday. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT AND NEITHER DO YOU. I argued with them for two hours to get you that slot yesterday.

Two.

Hours.

And you throw it down the tube like that?! Hunny. Oh hunny. You’ve only been out of BMT about six months. It hasn’t been that long since you qualified on a weapon. The same weapon, in fact, that you were supposed to qualify on yesterday.

“They made us use the M68 laser sight and they didn’t know how to correct it so mine was off and that’s why I failed.”“You knew it was wrong but you didn’t say anything? You didn’t say anything AND YOU CONTINUED TO USE IT?!”“Well yes. It would be insulting someone of a higher rank then I am to tell them it was wrong.”“No. It would be telling them that it’s wrong and that you need to qualify so that I CAN DEPLOY YOUR ASS. I am going to call them and get you another date. Next week. If your laser sight doesn’t work, don’t use it.”“But I have to.”“Says who?”“The people who work there.”“What you have to do – the only thing you have to do – is qualify on that weapon. Do what you need to do in order to qualify. Leave.”

And then he walked out like a sad puppy with his tail between his legs.

But you know what? I hope your feelings are hurt. I hope I was mean enough to you. Because you are the last one child. If you don’t deploy then I have no one. Everyone else is six months on and six months off continuously right now. No breaks. Heck, some have become a year on and six months off. Get your shit together if for no other reason than to make the rest of your shop not hate you cuz you’re the only one not deploying. You WILL be out of my squadron if I can’t deploy you. I have no use for you, and neither does anyone else if I can’t deploy you.