Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1925 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more

Download & Play

Questions

Newspaper Page Text

4
THE ROCK-ISLAND ARGUS, TUESDAY, AUGUST 2, 1910.
THE ARGUS.
' Published Dally and Weekly at 163
Second avenue. Rook Island. Z1L tEn
tared at the poaiofflce aa second-class
matter.
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS. Dally. 1 cent per week.
.Weekly, SI per year la advance.
All communication of argumentative
tbaracter, political or religious, xnuat
save real name attached for publica
tion. No such article wlU be printed
ever fictitious signatures.
'. Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
CTRADES
Tuesday, August 2, 191
Teddy will booh hit the western trail,
and If there are any wild buffalo left,
they had better look out.
' The best way the republicans of
Ohio can get harmony out of the war
rlrff conditions Is to vote for Harmon.
Crlppen's companion In that sensa
tional voyage across the Atlantic has
a fine vaudeville engagement awaiting
her if she cares to avail herself of it.
Jnst-about now many of the poli
ticians of the country are hard at
srork preparing the impromptu, ex
temporaneous speeches they are to
deliver "on the spur of the mo
ment" whenever and wherever an
opportunity offers itself during the
time that intervenes between the
present and the forthcoming au
tumn election.
More Muck-Raking.
Representative Longworth said in
his speech as temporary chairman of
the Ohio republican convention:
"Laying all other questions aside,
there is one thing In Judson Harmon's
career that disqualifies him for the
presidency. No man who has spent the
active years of his professional life as
an advocate of the lnterests'of corpor
ate wealth can bring to the presidency
that single minded devotion to the in
terests of the people, that capacity for
seeing clearly their side of the ques
tion that they have the right to de
mand." The ex-president's son-in-law is en
croaching upon the preserves of the
muck-raking, envious demagogues in
thus reflecting upon the integrity of a
public man. A good many persons,
critical of the make-up of our federal
judiciary and viewing with alarm the
elevation of railroad lawyers and other
corporation attorneys to the bench,
have been branded v.Uh the hot iron
of hate for stating the very conclusion
announced by the altogether respecta
ble and standpat Longworth.
It happens in the case in point that
1ongworth's shot glances off the armor
of the man aimed at. "Guilt is always
personal" is Governor Harmon's de
fense against any intimation of pro
corporation bias in him.
Can Taft Come Back?
In an address to the summer guests ) ruuage, which it has felt from the first,
at Bar Harbor. President Taft said ai,is sponsible for this. Rock Island
;has stood more loyally by the indepen
president should represent all the poo- d,nt COmpany than either Davenport
pie and he, therefore, would not dis- 0- Moline and still it has been a los
cuss politics. Then he cancelled all in? venture. The encouragement that
nubile eneatrements In order thnt ho i insured, or at least anticipated for
might give attention to pressing pub
lic business.
The president has reached a wls.-j
conclusion. He doe3 not appear well
on the hustings as he is lacking in dis
cretion. Only trained public speakers
can steer clear of mistakes, and Mr.
Taft lacks schooling iu this respect.
His speeches, in which he gave clean
bills of health to Cannon and Aldrich,
and his emphatic endorsement of the
tariff bill about wrecked his adminis
tration. The people can not be made
to believe that Cannon and Aldrich are
purists or that the tariff law is "the
best law ever passed." They believe
Cannon and Aldrich stand in the way
of good government and they know
the cost of living did not begin to soar
until the tariff bill was enacted into
law.
The president has talked neither well
nor wisely and he has been too much
away from his duties. With his re
turn to the White house he may re
cover some of his lost prestige if he
tacks. his course differently. He must
know he can not serve the people and
serve those who are serving the inter
ests. The so-called standpatters are
wrecking the republican party. They
represent the things the people do not
want and will not have. Instead of
patting on the back the 'Aid riches, Can
aons, Depews and Tawneys and urging
war on the Beveridges, Dollivers, Cum
minses and La Follettes, he must re
verse himself or his administration
will be a lamentable failure. He can
not shower patronage upon Lorimer
and deny it to others because they will
not bow to the interests.
Thus far President Taft's administra
tion has been a failure. He may save
it from utter ruin by getting nearer to
the people.
Other Cities After It.
Rock Island will have to go some to
keep up with the procession of other
Illinois cities which have begun the
circulation of petitions for the submis
sion of the question of adoption of the
, commission plan of government.
Quincy, Joliet, and a number of other
cities are contemplating submission of
the question this fall. In Charleston
the petition has already been filed, and
.Judge T. N. Cofer has given notice of
the special election to be held Tuesday,
Sept. 6.
The new Illinois law Is certain to be
rltron If-c first test snnn. nnrl everv citv
In the state will look with Intense in-1
terest upon results obtained in those
other municipalities which adopt the
new plan of government. .
Members of the Chamber of Com
merce were first to start the ball roll
ing In Quincy. Among other things
done before announcing their Intention,
they wrote to mayors, merchants, la
boring men and others In many cities
which have the commission plan in
other states, and requested informa
tion as to whether the new plan of
government had been successful, arid
If so, why.
The replies are unanimous In favor
of the commission plan. Here are a
few brief excerpts from them:
J. J. Elder, mayor of Keokuk, Iowa-
Gives opportunity to apply business
methods to city government; more .di
rect representation; eliminates party
politics from city affairs.
Edwin W. Maulton, mayor; Fred N.
West, workingman, of Haverhill, Mass.
More business-like; less politics;
success.
O. H. Stewart, mayor; T. M. Flynn,
merchant. Parsons, Kan. Prompt at
tention to business; closer supervision;
reduced tax levy.
J. F. Mallery, mayor; S. Greenough,
merchant; Albert Anderson, working
man, of Pierre, S. D. People feel that
commission form gives better satisfac
tion ; personal responsibility for each
man.
E. H. Crump, mayor, Memphis, Tenn.
Centralizes responsibility and makes
business-like government possible.
"W. D. Davis, mayor; A. Wheeler, mer
chant; Dee Estes, workingman, Fort
Worth, TexasMore paved streets;
improved waterworks; sewer system
doubled; 5100,000 in storm sewers put
in; Bchools and all departments im
proved! makes responsibility direct
and affords opportunity to do things
for the people.
B. W. Vedder, mayor. J. A. McCul
loch, merchant; F. J. Visberg, working
man, Grand Junction, Col. Takes af
fairs of government out of politics and
places them on business basis.
U. C. Cross, mayor; E. E. Egan, sec
retary-treasurer Merchants' Exchange,
Burlington, Iowa People better satis
fied; economy and better service in
every way.
James R. Hanna, mayor, Des Moines,
Iowa Makes each commissioner re
sponsible to all the people for his de
partment and makes them responsible
to public opinion; city affairs now run
on sound business basis.
And there are many others with sim
ilar expression of enthusiastic endorse
ment of the new plan of government.
The Telephone Situation.
The telephone situation in Rock Is
l?Ld may readily be adjusted by the
Reck Island council by considering the
Wif.hes of the business men and tele
phone users generally. The Indepen
dent plant war, originally installed as
the result of many years' agitation due
to unsatisfactory service on the part
of the Bell company. What-was true
of Rock Island was true of many other
cites in this respect. .The independent
rtelt phone has not proven a success in
a general sense. In Rock Island it has
bten given every encouragement by
the council in the form of ordinances
and franchise extensions and yet it has
lost money. It is now going in the
i hoic deeper day by day. Lack of pat-
! opposition to monopoly, has not been
forthcoming revenue is essential to
commercial success and the Indepen
dent company has not received the
revenue sufficient to enable it to keep
its head above water, much less to
earn anything on its investment.
P. has failed once and is said to be
on-the verge of complete bankruptcy.
It Is up to the telephone user to say to
'he council whether they will consent
to the release from the franchise obli
gations and an outright purchase by
the Central Union or to leave the inde
pendent to its fate, which in the end
wruld be the same thing as far as the
Central Union is concerned.
The attitude of the average tele
phone user in the present emergency
will naturally be guided largely by the
character of the service furnished by
the Central Union. The council by
recent franchise fixed the question of
rates. The service, it must be
admitted, has not improved and is any-
tiling but satisfactory. The Central
Union, admitting the shortcoming, at
tributes it to unsettled conditions inci
dent to the overhauling of Its plant,
pieparatory to the improvement in its
physical condition. When this is com
pleted, the company promises service.
Hew that will be remains to be seen.
Assuredly there should be no excuse
for Rock Island not having telephone
accommodations equal to the best.
Meanwhile the tendency of public sen
timent seems to be that one system sat
isfactorily conducted from every view
point would be preferable to two lines
end neither affording ideal accommo
dations. Aug. 2 in American
History
1SI1-Willi.: m Williams, "signer" for
Connecticut, died; born 1731.
1S9S President McKinley announced
the terms upon which he offered
to make peace with Spain.
Assessment Rolls Filed.
Assessment rolls for the paving of
Fourth avenue between Twenty
fourth and Twenty-seventh streets,
Twenty-seventh street between
Fourth and Fifth avenue, and for the
laying of a watermaln on Eleventh
avenue between Sixteenth and Seven
teenth streets, were filed yesterday
with the county judge with a petition
asking that they be confirmed and
the Improvement allowed.
WATERMAN1 WINS
MILLION IN DEAL
But Declares His Profit Came
From Legitimate Purchases
of Grain.
INQUIRY NOT EXPECTED
Chicago Board of Trade Operators
Now Are Planning to Squeeze the
New King in September.
Chicago, Aug.. 2. Theodore H
Waterman, the newly crowned "King
of the Wheat Pit" and successor to
the throne abdicated by James A.
Patton, richer by $1,000,000 or more
as a result of the highly successful
deal in July wheat he closed out on
Saturday, emphatically insists that
the deal was in no wise a corner.
Old-time operators on the Board of
Trade say that if the Waterman July
deal was not a corner, then they do
not know what a wheat corner is.'
The directors of the Board of
Trade, heeding the complaints made
to them of the Waterman "elevator
combine" operations in July wh'eat,
will, it is thought, make a perfunc
tory Investigation and then dismiss
the matter without action.
There is no rule on the Board of
Trade prohibiting corners. An at
tempt some time ago was made to
pass a by-law that would make cor
ners an Impossibility. It was voted
down without ceremony. Board of
LTrade men the majority of them as
the vote snowed take the stand mat
cornering the wheat or oats or the
corn or the provision market is a
legitimate business transaction, and
one that redounds to the benefit of
the producers. The line of reasoning
is this: Corners invariably boost
prices; when prices go up the farmer
gets more money for his grain.
Watmnan Denies II Had Corner.
"King" Waterman, the silent, un
communicative speculator who deals
in millions with as much nonchalance
as many a man deals in dollars, who
risks immense sums of money on his
judgment of market conditions, said:
"I have never attempted to corner
a market. I buy large quantities of
wheat because I want it delivered to
me as the contracts say."
Nearly 700,000 bushels of wheat
on July contracts were delivered to
Waterman on Saturday. He is the
man who will have to find a market
for this amount of grain.
Notwithstanding Mr. Waterman's
denial from Albany, his home, that
he is organizing a corner in Septem
ber wheat, well informed Board of
Trade men estimate the millers
present holdings in September at 5,-
000,000 bushels and they expect him
to largely augment these holdings
within the next f ow days.
Board of Trade men are drawing
comparisons now between Waterman
and Patten, between the Albany
man's deals and those engineered by
the former wheat king.
In May wheat a year ago Patten
successfully ran the biggest vheat
deal in his career. He made millions.
Come to Grief in Slay.
In May wheat this year Waterman
attempted a big deal. He came to
grief. His losses were heavy.
In a July corner thi3 year Water
man was a winner.
In a September deal a year ago
Patten came another cropper.
Waterman has a big September
deal now under way.
Corners in September wheat. Board
cf Trade men say, are rarely attempt
ed. That is why they will'watch the
new "King of the Pit" so clcsely
during the next few weeks.
Waterman differs from Patten in
that where Patten had hundreds of
followers in the market, Waterman
has but few. Like Patten he has a
way of keeping his own counsel and
working in devious paths. He is
about 50 years old, short, stout, with
a wealth of iron gray hair, a closely
cropped iron gray mustache and a
keen blue eye. He is fond of base
ball, automobiles and other forms of
sport. In Chicago he spends most of
his time at leading downtown clubs
during his leisure hours.
Staggers Skeptics.
That a clean, nice, fragrant com
pound like Bucklen's Arnica Salve
will instantly relieve a bad burn, cut,
scald, wound or piles, staggers skep
tics. But great cures prove its a
wonderful healer of the worst sores,
ulcers, boils, felons, eczema, skin
eruptions, as also chapped hands,
sprains and corns. Try it, 25 cents
at all druggists.
A crumblihg wall
means a crumbling name,
avoid both; use
Marquette
Marquette Cement Mfg. Co.
La Salle. IU.
Chicago Office t Marqamtte Bldg.
Handled by all representa
tive. tLerilersi
HONORS
I IT V . -7X
The Argus Daily Short Story
A Mistaken Girl
Copyrighted. 1910. by
I am In a quandary. 1 had supposed I
would marry Donald Cb:;se, and now
comes Oscar Richmond to mix me all
np. Donald is steady, honorable, has
excellent judgment; Oscar is band
some, full of sentiment, fascinating. I
know 1 should ren:aln true to Donald,
but Oscar carries me right off my feet.
The question of money does not en
ter Into the matter. Douald is doing
very well, earning a fair salary and
with a prospect of boing a partner.
Oscar is out of business just now. 1
don't exactly understand why. He is
very reticent. I like reticence in a
man; it bespeaks self control. Oscar
can talk with me by the hour without
revealing any of bis affairs. Of course
if be proposes to ice I shall expect that
he will tell me everything.
I have trii d to get Donald to tell ma
why he distrusts Oscar. He says he
doesn't binirclf know why. It is quite
likely that his distrust is due to jeal
ousy. Donald is so honorable that he
would not like to believe himself capa
ble of doing a rival au injustice. lie
is unconscious tbat he is moved by
jealousy.
1 wonder who is this Girard Roberts
he has brought to soo us. He has
known us but a few weeks, yet Itseema
that we liavt' all been friends for years.
It's stnmge how some people have a
faculty of Insinuating themselves at
once Into ones t?i'xl graces. Already
I call this man by bis first name, and,
though I have Lnowa Donald since I
was sixtppu years old. 1 still call him
Mr. Chase.
1 have Koundod Girard Roberts as to
what he thinks of Oscar Richmond.
His reply was. "He's a bang up good
follow." That doesn't help me. But
it's the most I cau expect from Girard.
who is all on the surface. Those peo
ple one becomes familiar with on short
acquaintance, seldom have any depth.
I asked Girard what he thought of
Donald and received the same reply,!
"He's n bang up giod fellow too. I
was servr-d right for relying upon the
opinion of such a lightweight person.
Girard Roberts seems to have plenty
of money as well as a taste for jewel
ry. The other day Aunt Allda was
showing him a diamond she wished to
turn into fuuds. lie told her to go
among the jewelers, ask them to fix
a price on It and he would give ber
$10 more than the highest bid. She
did so and pot a bid of $270 for the
stone. Girard told her it was cheap
at $31)0 and he would give her tbat for
It She accepted the offer. Oscar and
1 were present when the sale was
made, and Girard laughingly told us
that be would rely on us as witnesses
in case aunty backed out. lie didn't
have the mouey with him. but said he
would bring it the next afternoon at 5
o'clock.
When he called nunty was out Os
car and I were In the library. Girard
called to me to say to aunty when she
came In tbat she would find the money
for the diamond under a vase on the
mantel in the parlor. I promised to
do' so. Oscar asked me to go to walk
with him. I consented: went upstairs
to get my hat, and we walked to the
park. When I returned I had forgot
ten all about telling aunty that the
money for her diamond was on the
parlor mantel. Indeed, I never thought
of It till Just before going to bed; then
I told ber. She went downstairs to
get it. It was gone.
Everybody is dissatisfied with me
and I am dissatisfied with myself for
being so thoughtless as to have left
$300 so long in an exposed position.
It has unset the whole household. The
servants who consider themselves un
der suspicion are going about looking;
very glum. Aunty t furious with me.
I expected Girard would show his feel
ings toward me very decidedly. ' What
a lovelj fellow he is, after all! Ue
told me not to give myself any con
cern about the matter; tbat doubtless
the money would run up, but If It did
not there was no one to blame but
himself since be should not have left
FOR PRESIDENT-ELECT
III" mte&'JL???r 4t HI
j&i?-A wy-. HRki - ii! i r n ".
By Estelle Marsh.
Associated Literary Press.
so much money In such a place. lie
explained that he did not leave it with
me because I was "flirting." as be
called it. with Oscar and he didn't like
to intrude upon us.
I asked him who he suspected, and
he said that, since the front door stood
unlatched and any one might have
come in while we were at dinner or
during the evening when we were all
upstairs, doubtless some person enter
ed, possibly for an ordinary purpose.
and, seeing the money, appropriated it
and skipped.
I have had a stroke an awful visits
tlon! Donald Chase turns out to be the
thief who took the bills left on the
mantel to pay for aunty's Jewel. This
morning when he was at business a
constable called at his room with n
search warrant and found the bills in
his bureau drawer. To think that Don
ald. who!ri we have all knowa so long
and considered the very soul of honor,
shonld have done such a thing!
How con Id he hare taken the money
without our knowins It? What Girnrd
Roberts told me is the only thing tha
fits the case. Doubtless Donr.'tl caller1,
came right in, was walling for some of
0s, when be noticed the bills. He must
have taken them and goue out without
making himself known.
I am broiten hearted by this discovery
that Donald Chase is a common thief.
Singular, isn't it. that a girl doesn't
know she loves a man till he turns out
to be a thief? That's the way with us
women; we are always acting by"con
trarles. Not long ugo I was uncertain
about Oscar and thought Donald a
splendid man. But I was fascinated
with Oscar, and Donald seemed devoid
of romance. Now that Donald is In
trouble, through his own fault, 1 am
giving him my heart. -
Girard Roberts has just come In. He
says that Donald has given bail for his
appearance when his trial conies off
and bs now free. Girard says that, not
withstanding appearances are against
Donald, he doesn't believe him guilty.
"Then," I said. "I don't believe him
guilty either." But the next minute I
reproved myself for being influenced
by this easy going man. Did be not
say when I asked him his opinion of
Donald before this matter occurred.
"He's a good fellow too?" What's the
use of considering the views of oue
who talks like tbat? I told Girard to
tell Donald to come and see me, but be
said he did not think Donald would un
til his innocence has been proved. I
really believe there has been some mis
take, but it is very bard to feel sure
about It. It all happened so naturally
Donald's coming In just wheu the
money was where he would see it at
least, who else could have come in?
and the bills being found In his bureau
drawer. Oh. dear! I must stop think
ing of the horrid thing or I shall gor
crazy.
One thing more I will say: After all.
there is something Just too loveTy for
anything In Girard Roberts saying that
he doesn't believe Donald guilty. If
any one shonld take anything of mine
and It wore found in his bureau draw
er I couldn't be so generous as to at
tribute the theft to an error.
Donald has been to see me. He did
not act or talk like a guilty ma a.
What's more, he didn't seem to realize
his awful position. I supposed that
he was more sensitive. Though charg
ed with stealing money that was in
tended for aunty, with whom be has
been on friendly terms for years, to
say nothing of bis devotion to me. he
seemed very unconcerned. When I
learned he was downstairs I nerved
myself for a very painful interview.
For fear I should say the wrong thing
I thought over what I should say.
When I entered the room I dreaded to
look at binx Indeed. I kept my eyes
on the floor.-
"Donald." I said, "you know bow in
terested we all are that you should
clear yourself of this horrible charge.
We will all do anything in the world
to help you Aunty. I. Oscar"
I looked up. and what was my sur
prise to see an amused look on Don
ald's face. Indeed, he was smiling.
TbeA ha advanced, took mi band a ad
OF BRAZIL
WASHINGTON. Hermes da
Fonseca, president elect
of Brazil, is expected to
land in New York August
3, and the state , department haa
made elaborate plans for his en
tertainment during the month he
will spend In this country. Charge
Sllva of the Brazilian embassy has 'ar
ranged for his presentation to Presi
dent Taft at Beverly, and immediate
ly after that formality the distin
guished visitor will go to Vallej
ForgejPa., to meet Secretary Knox.
Later Gen. da Fonseca, who is an ac
complished soldier, will be taken to
West Point and Annapolis to inspect
the academies there.
gave It u gentle pressure.
"Don't be troubled, little girl." be
said. "There are always wheels with
in wheels. There Is also such a thing
as being too smart. I have some
thing to say to you. Had I not I
would cot have come to see you rest
ing under the imputation of belnga
thief. Listen. From the first I sus
pected something wrong in your friend
Oscar Richmond. From what I beard
I believed L!ui to be a thief. 1 intro
duced into this household Girard Rob
erts, a detective"
"A detective:"
"That's what he Is. ne laid a trap
for Richmond r.nd caught not Rich
mond, but me. lie !ought your aunt's
diamond for the purpose of laying this
trap. He put the bills to pay for It on
the mantel as a decoy for Richmond.
They were all marked, that be might
prove them his property. Richmond
took them, but, boing a smart rogue
and susrpecliug that we were on his
track, sent a man with them to my
room. This man represented himself as
an old chum of mine, and my landlady
permitted him to- go to the room to
wait for me. Once there, be put the
money iu my bureau trfawer and went
away. The next day Richmond ar
ranged that a constable should go to
my room to search for something he
claimed he had l-t. You know tbe re
sult." "But," I said. Oscar Richmond did
nothing criminal. You were trying to
catch him, and he turned the tables on
you."
"Wait a Lit, Richmond was an ac
countant for a firm in San Trauclsco.
from whom he skipped with $"0,000.
Roberts was employed by them to
track him. My employing Roberts was
a coincidence. Richmond's real name
Is MacEncry. He was arrested this
morning and is now awaiting extradi
tion papers to take him to Sau Fran
cisco for trial."
And now I aui alone in my room, try
ing to get Fettled down to the fact that
I am myself. Oscar Richmond Is not
Oscar Richmond at all. but somebody
else and a criminal. Donald Chase Is
not going to the penitentiary, but Is to
be ray l:r.fjla:;tl instead. Girard Rob
erts, who eame to um with his appar
ently light f haracter a::d trivial words
a skin deep man whom nobody eithei
loves cr dislikes turns out to be one of
those cunning detectives oue reads
cbout in htorirs. nut now I know that
lie is a real detective he seems very
tlilferent to me. Just as soon as It wes"
.11 out. instead of tailing me Alice he
railed me Miss Avery. 1 was fo mnd 1
?ould have choked l.ltn. Besides. I
thought !;? v.aj e.uite a gentleman. He
Is very pl.tin. Indeed. Donald says be
6erved a term as a policeman.
Well, well; I th:-!! never again think
I can tell the difference between
roguo and an honest man or between a
arenfleman nml n tU'.f huiter.
'Si fN-1,1 ESI Li J k H
AAft3
HAK9 rtizf
ST. 131
raursFus
1904
r.jrK. -r -3w
Vlt-' 'n i
Makes T
Lightest
Whitest;
Finest
Cakes
MAKES Delicious An pel Food
and other cakes for Weddintrs.
'Entertainments and all Social
Functions. v Good all the year
-'round, rj&srses t tla Bed Ttscftan sf Coofcvy
Each Parkaoe Coot sins Flour far
12 Cake mn4 12 Cake Recipe
8oH by the Beat Cumi Km 1 1 Mien
r far CrBmkesaess, Oplaa,
Merpaiae sad
etaer Draz Usicr.
tfaeTebacce Habit
aco1 Neurasthenia.
s IXSTITETE.
' .. 1.--:
t:r x tr- us n e? v
Humor and
Pliilosophy
"Br TtViCAJV M. SMITH
BEARING UP.
BECAUSE I am a marrlMl man.
With this tact sa a starter.
1 do not thank the gushing friend
Who mark me as a martyr.
Because 1 bave a wife and Kids
And Jut that many Donse '
Don't think that 1 nave burned behind
The or id Re at which hope croaaes.
Don't think berauie t cannot call
My soul my own a minute
That I am late a unlucky cnlld.
For there la nothing in It. '
Don't think that when the past 1 scaa
it makra my pulaea tingle
Aa 1 retail the oygonc Oaya
When t waa young and aingle. "
You pity me and think perhaps
It la a hardship maybe
That 1 should have to leave my booB
To go and tend the baby.
' Well, think that If doea you good.
But keep, I pray, your pity.
1 wouldn't trade my nursing )o
For any In the city.
No. on the square, tf you must know,
There are me compensations
To have to furnisn shoes for tour
And buy their clothes and rations,
6o keep your pity to yourself.
It just excites my laugnter.
I'll bet you'i mad because you missed
The girl that you were sfter.
For a Tryoit.
-She leads
man gently aloni
until sbe gets
him to propose."
"And then sh
throws nlm
down?"
"Worn tbaa
tbatr
-What coo 14
ber
"S h accepts)
him."
Beats Paying Far.
They ought to pay people for riding
on this line," said the old grouch, who
was far from being satisfied with ihm
street car service.
They do If you work It right' j
Wlsb I knew the combination.'
"That's easy. I will give you m let
ter of recommendation any time you
want to apply for a job as conductor.
Net Restful.
Too look tired."
"I am tired."
"What have you been doing?
"Heading Action."
That shouldn't be tiresome.
"Well, It Is when it consists of rea
sons why people don't pay what they,
owe you."
Much Worse.
"I wonder if there Is anything
worse than not knowing when to
stop."
-I should say so. ""
"What Is It?"
"Mot knowing wben to begin."
Some Difference.
"Do you like to bave people ftm
ever you?"
"Depends on who It is." '
"Oh. I suppose so."
"Now. a prizefighter can keep his af
fections to himself."
Getting Pointers.
"Johnny, what are you going to be
when you get to be a manr"
"A prlzeflghter."
"Had any training?"
"Just watching paw and maw
scrap."
More Practical.
"What are you writing?" r
"Just a light summer story."
"One that wtll live. I suppose."
"If It lets me live for a while that
is all I will ask of It"
New Aspirations.
Man wanted In the pant the earth.
Hut since aloft hfc tiles
More comprehensive has he grown.
for now he wants the skies.
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Tou may have tbe law on yoor al
all right, but don't get a lawyer to et
pound it for you.
Because they feel tbelr own Impor
tance some people can't possibly be
lazy.
When a man wants to talk about
himself listen with deep attention, aft
erward be Is yours for whatever yoa
want to coucb him tor.
Don't ask dad for a favor wblle be
Is sharing and then wonder wbat on
earth makes him so grouchy.
If you wNh the course of a disease
arrested don't call In a policeman un
less he wears M.D. after bis name.
Don't be uneasy If tbe air of the
household gets electrical occasionally.
Lots of Impurities are burned up by
electricity.
A Ions purse Is no Indication of a
long head; In fact, many a flat head la
found In conjunction with tbe dollat
of bis dad.
Mrs. Ma la prop says that honesty 1
the best poverty.
,
Joke and the world wilt guy yoa. un
less your Joke Is brand new and none
of thp robber Jokers haa the slightest
rhauce to claim It.
-
Keep trying. The man who falls la
buxlhes often enough often turns out
a merchant prince.
Dysentery is a dangerous disease
but can be cu-ed. Chamberlain's
Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy
has been successfully used In nine
epidemics of dysentery. It has never
been known to fail. It is equally
valuable for children and adults,
and when reduced with water and
sweetened. It is pleasant to take. Sold
by all druggists.
I and irrs sue- 3