The $100 Martini Gets Recessionized

(Photo: Kellari Taverna, Britannia)

In case you DC folks haven’t heard yet — this town now has its very own $100 martini. You can air a sigh of relief to know you don’t have to travel 300 miles north on the BoltBus to buy one. The shocking part of this story is not necessarily the price, as we all knew it was a matter of time, but that the drink is not served at the minibars, Passengers or POVs of the world but rather Kellari Taverna, an inconspicuous Greek spot on K St. that has certainly made its mark on the DC restaurant scene in its short life.

I’d love to tell you about Kellari’s amazing seafood wall, with foot-long Madagascan Shrimp or the very much alive and kicking crustaceans on the menu, but instead I’m here to tell you about the mix of some fabulous liquors and gold leaf —you read that right, gold, in your drink.

Let’s be honest — not many of us can afford one of these, let alone actually want to spend a hundred big ones on it. So I’m here to help you out. With that in mind, I’ve recessionized this drink for less than $5.

The $100 $5 Martini

With Remy Martin’s Louis XIII Cognac at $2000 a bottle and 150-year-old Grand Marnier at $200 a bottle, you now understand why this thing costs so much. For my version, I substituted each of these liquors with its cheaper, and some would say sluttier cousin, and stuck with the drink’s add-ons of Royal Chambord, Dragonfruit juice and ginger ale. The gold leaf, unfortunately, didn’t make it into my budget.

1ozLouis XIII CognacRemy Martin VS Cognac

1ozCuvée Speciale Cent Cinquantenaire Grand MarnierCointreau

1/2oz Royal Chambord Liqueur

1ozDragon Fruit JuicePomegranate, Dragon Fruit & Goji Juice

Splash of Ginger Ale

Gold LeafOrange Peel

Dragon FruitStar Fruit

My very limited math tells me that my version of this $100 martini is $4.41 (for the liquor only), so you can replicate this cocktail in full for under $5. But please, remember to invite me on your trip to Kellari Taverna, I’ll be more than happy to drink the real thing with you.