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Godpossible

From Impossible to Godpossible.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Head Noise

At any given time, there are three or four conversations going on in my head.One of those conversations I will be having with someone else; the rest of them are in my head.I don’t know what’s in your brain (and aren’t you happy about that!) but my brain is like the energizer bunny....it keeps going and going.

Picture, if you can, a large rubber band ball.

If you can’t, here’s an image to help you:

About every 7 seconds, shoot 20 – 30 of the bands.That’s the constant barrage of thoughts through my head (and not all are nice and pleasant...I know you can't believe that!)Now, add to that the outside conversations throughout the day (in which I’m expected to participate).Finally, weave a big ribbon through the ball, which is the song I heard at some point yesterday that landed in my waves and won’t go away.

Today, the song was Sin Wagon, as sung by Carrie Underwood on American Idol several years ago.In the midst of “If it rains, I left my umbrella in the car/It’s hot in here/I don’t like my sweater today, but it looks better than the chick in front of me on the stairs earlier/Where’s my pencil/No, my other pencil, the blue one/Man, it’s hot in here/Those poor people in Japan/Haiti, too/Sudan, too/I need to make a car payment/Insurance, too/Maybe it will be better if I take this sweater off” is Carrie’s twangy voice singing a jumbled version of Sin Wagon.

So, my brain waves look more like this:

I hope the rains washes the bird poop off my car (Praise the Lord, pass the ammunition…) I’m glad I took my sweater off/I need to stop at Dollar General and pick up some paper towels (I need a little bit more of what I’ve been missing…) Liz Taylor died today!I thought she was older than that (I don’t know where I’ll be crashing…) I can’t believe she and Debbie Reynolds ended up being friends! (I don’t know where I’llbe crashing…) I wonder if that kid cares I’m still being assaulted by the mental image of her too-low pants showing me WAY-MORE than I wanted to see while going up the stairs (but I’m arriving on a sin wagon…) This song is borderline sacrilegious…it can’t be something God hums to Himself…why do I keep singing it???

Head noise. Not whay I expected. My head noise is of a totally different nature. As a small child my Mom would make me a pallet on the hall floor for my summertime nap. There was no air-conditioning back then and we wouldn't have had it anyway. By placing my pallet, which was one of my Grandmother's quilts folded time and again in the floor of the hall by the telephone table I could catch a bit of cross breeze. Ok, back to head noise. As I lay on Grandmother's folded quilt waiting for sleep creeping on kitteh paws, lol, the noise in my head was deafening. Always a high pitched tone accentuated by clicks and clacks and trains on railroad tracks. In the 60's when Simon & Garfunkle hit the air waves with "Sound of Silence" I thought, there is no sound of silence, 'neath the halo of a street lamp or in the words written on the subway walls'. I've had tinnitis forever it seems. Something, certainly not the kitteh, took the hearing from my right ear over a decade ago. It was like a thief in the night though. One day I could hear; the next day only in the left ear. My remaining 'good' ear is semi-good. I watch TV with closed captions always on which drives other family members nuts. Too bad. At my house its my way. I do understand your head noise. Really I do, I just can't hear it, I think it.

Very profound comment, Linda. Who can find a virtuous woman? That seems to mean little to most who live in this mixed up world. Married to someone else? It's all right--she's not making him happy. Leaving my husband--that's okay too since he doesn't make me happy, and it's all about me, me, me.

We laud the rich and famous and denigrate those who seek to follow Jesus...