Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Donut Conspiracy

Back in May, America was still in the midst of the epic nomination battle between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, so you might have missed this item. Basically, Dunkin Donuts ran an online ad with Rachael Ray wearing a black-and-white patterned scarf, and wingnut blogger Michelle Malkin, aka Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage, decided that the scarf was actually a Yassir Arafat-style keffiyah, and that Ray and DD were expressing solidarity with Islamic terrorism. Needless to say, DD quickly yanked the ad and apologized for running it.

Now comes word that anti-abortion crazies at the American Life League are up in arms about Krispy Kreme's decision to offer one free donut per customer to celebrate Barack Obama's inauguration. Clearly, the ALL believes, Krispy Kreme's use of the phrase "freedom of choice" is nothing less than a coded message of solidarity with the Godless baby-killers of the pro-choice movement. "A misconstrued concept of 'choice' has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973," says ALL president Judie Brown. "Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this 'freedom.' We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom – to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame"

Now, one example of donut-centered anti-Americanism might be shrugged off, but two? Is it possible that what we are seeing here is just the tip of the iceberg? Is there a plot afoot to introduce some sort of mind control potion into America's donut supply? Could America's enemies intend to use tainted donuts to brainwash our nation's law enforcement officers? Is this just the first step in a diabolical plan to take over America and leave us under the iron heel of a deadly Islamo-abortionist dictatorship?

Some may say that this is mere idle speculation, but as Peggy Noonan reminds us, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.