Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Just she and I

These last couple of days since Asher started school, Bella and I have had a lot of time together. Mia still takes good naps, so that leaves us with plenty of time for each other. And I can tell she loves it.

It's just she and I

I have vivid memories of rocking Bella to sleep as a baby. Of feeding her and singing to her. She was a snuggle bug. My sweet baby girl.

She has this freckle on the back of her arm. When she laid on me as a small baby I used to look at it. Hidden in a spot on the very back of her arm. Loving that there was a small bit of her that only I probably knew about.

I gotpregnant with Faith when Bella was just under a year. After that, things were a blur of emotions. Up and Down. I, physically, emotionally and mentally, was so distracted during those few months.

I look at that little freckle now and my mind flashes back to that time, of her being so little. I watched her a lot today. Watched as she gently took care of her babies. Feeding them, pushing them in the stroller, putting them to sleep. I watched her as she made shapes out of play doh and colored in strawberry shortcake.

I watched as she tucked her long hair behind her ears, while it continued to fall forward into her face. Such a big girl. Such a sweet, beautiful girl.

After the boys leave for work and school, she climbs into bed with me and we talk just a little bit before we both drift back to sleep. We sleep until Mia wakes up. We make smoothies together. It's her favorite thing to do. She hands me what I need.
She helps me with Mia as much as she can as we get her dressed and we practice her clapping.

She waits outside Mia's door for me while I feed her and lay her down for her nap. I come out of the room to see her waiting with a book. Patiently. No pushing to go first.

She follows me around the house as I make beds, start laundry and pick up. She helps me. She loves to.

It's just she and I.

I think God has such a sweet way of gift giving. Of redeeming to us what was stolen. For me, it was time with just my Bella girl.

But now? It's all we have. Together.

I'm overwhelmed at God's goodness. He doesn't always pour out lavish gifts, or make outrageous gestures. He just subtly, in completely catch you by surprise cause it's just what you wanted, but didn't know how to ask- ways.

He's the perfect gift giver, isn't He?

And I'm grateful for the one He has given to me. That which was stolen from me has been restored. Just like His word promises.

He knew just what I needed in this season and just when to give it to me. Time. With my sweet small freckled, little girl.

3 comments:

what a beautiful post! I feel this way with my little boy {2nd oldest of the 3}. I often feel guilty that I wasnt as present with him as I was with the other 2.. but as you've said.. God is a wonderful gift giver .. and he gives us what HE knows we need. <3