rock bottom :: lysander

Remy finished hanging up the streamers she had strewn throughout the room and stored her little step stool in the hallway closet. She'd spent the last two hours perfecting her home for the most special day she'd had here--Lysander's birthday! Her little brother was turning 22 today!

Besides the decorations and the cake she had made him, she had also splurged a little (probably more than she should have) on a gift for him. She'd been saving every penny she made that didn't need to go to bills, so she thought she could treat herself by treating her brother. As odd as it was, Remy had realized that buying things for Lysander was just as much fun as buying things for herself. And since she couldn't justify buying anything for herself right now, Lysander would have to do.

Now that everything was set, she was just waiting for him to get home. It was sorta a surprise party...without the actual clio or party. Remy would just have to be enough for him!

She sat on the couch for awhile until she heard the door jangling around as Lysander presumably unlocked the door. She hurriedly grabbed the cake and, using her eilemaiden, lit the 22 candles. When the door swung open she sang, "Happy birthday...!" holding the cake out in front of her and walking towards her surprised brother. Yay!

So today was Lysander's birthday. So far he had spent it waking up late, almost being late for work, and having his fingers prune and smell weird after millions of dishes being washed. It was a pretty uneventful day, just like any other day. In fact, he probably would have forgotten that it was his birthday if Remy hadn't of wish him a Happy Birthday before he went to work. Birthday's had always been uneventful for Lysander. He had either spent them alone, in the orphanage, or in a neglectful foster family's home. There was one time though when one particular family got him socks. There was something.

Once his shift was finally over, he headed home looking forward to a warm shower and a nap. When he reached his small little apartment, he struggled with the lock before finally unlocking the door. What greeted him made him smile and feel horrible at the same time. There was his sister, singing to him with a cake. She had no idea how guilty she made him feel sometimes.

"Aw Rem," he said, while shuffling awkwardly into their apartment. "You didn't have to do all this!"

Lysander had mentioned about a month ago that it was his birthday today, and had said that none of his foster parents had ever given him a party. He even said that sometimes they would punish him on his birthday or forget to feed him. It had made Remy feel awful and she had never forgotten. So today, even though 22 was sorta too old for this type of party, she was so happy to be able to do this for him.

Lysander shook his head and laughed, before blowing out his candles. "This is awesome, Rem," he told her, while looking around at all the decorations. "I can't believe you did all of this for me!"

He had grown so much closer to his sister, everyday he learned something new about her, and he realized he loved his sister. It was nice to finally have somebody he could call family. Too bad he basically ruined her life.

"Of course, silly! What are big sisters for?" She smiled happily as she sat the cake down on the small kitchen table. "How does it feel to be 22?" she asked, knowing that it would have felt no different than being 21.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she exclaimed, running behind the couch and grabbing the gift bag she had purchased earlier. She held it out to him. "If you didn't notice, the bag is the same hideous color as my hideous curtains," she said with a sly smile. She'd chosen it on purpose because it had reminded her instantly of him. "But here! This is for you." Her smile grew.

Ugh, she even got him a present? Lysander hoped it wasn't something expensive. The freaking bag was even in his favorite color. When he pulled out the present, his heart started pounding instantly. It was a cream colored stationary, with intricate patterns on the corners and edges, complete with brand new quills and ink. He couldn't believe she remembered. He only mentioned to her his hobby of writing like once.

"Aw Rem," he said quietly. "You shouldn't have." He smiled and looked up at her. "It's perfect."

Lysander's smile sent a warm tingly feeling through Remy's chest. "I'm glad you like it," she told him. Making Lysander feel happy and wanted was the only thing keeping her from going insane without Hadley. "When I saw it, it was screaming your name so I knew I had to get it for you."

The siblings went over and Remy sliced into Lysander's cake so that they could eat it. Remy was no baker, so she hoped it would taste okay.

Remy handed Lysander a piece of cake first, and he went back to the couch to eat it. He tried a small bite, decided it wasn't half bad, shrugged and nodded before sticking a bigger piece into his mouth. "This is pretty good," he told her. "Did you make it from scratch?"

He would probably remember this as the best birthday he ever had for the rest of his life.

"Yeah, so forgive me if you find an eggshell or two in there," she told him, covering up the cake before taking her own piece and joining Lysander on the couch. "So, how was your day? I hope work wasn't too bad for you."

Remy bit into her slice of cake. Eh. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good, either. She'd just have to try again.

Remy shrugged, setting her own plate down and sitting back. "A while." Really it had taken her like two hours, which, in retrospect, was probably a liiiiittle over the top. But she had been cooking the cake in the middle of the decorating, so that probably contributed to the time frame.

"I thought maybe tomorrow we could go out and do something." She had known Lysander had to work today, so she hadn't planned anything besides this little party for two, but she thought maybe tomorrow, if he had it off, they could go out and have fun together.

"Well I really appreciate it," Lysander replied. "This is awesome...nobody has ever gone out of their way like this for me." He felt so happy, and yet so guilty at the same time. He had to tell her the truth, he couldn't keep this from her anymore, and if that meant he'd end up alone again, then so be it. At least he'd know that his sister wasn't hurting anymore. Lysander really did have feelings.

Remy wrote:"I thought maybe tomorrow we could go out and do something."

"Oh yeah, maybe," he replied distractedly. "I'm pretty sure I have it off..." He sighed and turned to look at his sister. "Listen Rem, I need to tell you something." He pursed his lips before continuing. "I...I think you and Hadley should get back together."

"You what? ...wait, what?" Whatever she had been expecting Lysander to say, it wasn't that. Her heart did a little flop at Hadley's name, but even the pang she felt at his absence was minute in comparison to the confusion she felt at Lysander's confession. "He made up awful lies about you, Lysander. He kicked us out."

"Some of it wasn't a lie," Lysander replied quietly. He looked down into his lap shamefully. He put his sister through all of this heartbreak, she sold her beloved, expensive camera, moved out of a beautiful home to this dump, and for what? So Lysander could have a few laughs after getting butt hurt over a rude comment Hadley made? "Hadley was right," he said. "I did move that chair..."

Remy's eyes raised while her stomach dropped. "You did?" she asked, suddenly feeling numb. "Wait. What?" She looked at Lysander's eyes, watching to see them crinkle as he smiled. This had to be a joke. An awful one, but still. They never crinkled, and the smile never came.

"Lysander, tell me you're joking," she finally said, her mouth feeling dry. Lysander would have never moved that chair in front of Hadley. He wouldn't have put Hadley in danger like that. They didn't get along, but Lysander wouldn't have wanted Hadley to get hurt. Lysander knew how important Hadley was to Remy--he never would have hurt him. He never would have watched as Remy had left behind everything she knew and loved if there wasn't a good reason.

Lysander shook his head sadly. "I wish that I was..." He decided to tell her the whole story, when they ran into each other in the kitchen, the miniscule argument they had, up to the point where Hadley made his comment and the chair moving. "It was such a stupid thing to do," he told her. "I could have seriously injured him, and I didn't think he'd actually kick me out, and I also didn't think you'd come with me..."

"Of course I came with you," Remy said, both shocked and hurt by that comment. She'd stayed silent throughout his confession and explanation, not sure of what to say to him. She could barely for a coherent thought, much less articulate words to say. But when Lysander said that he hadn't thought she'd come, she didn't have to think anymore. "Lysander, I love you," she said, her voice sounding strangled. "I didn't even think twice before I left."

Lysander had lied to her. Lysander had lied to her. Lysander had lied to her. "I left everything for you," she said quietly, possibly more to herself than to Lysander. She had left everything behind. Had said awful things to Hadley and left him without turning back. All for Lysander.

Lysander who had lied.

Remy felt like she was going to be sick. Her body was cold and tingly, and her stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. All she'd wanted was a family.

She stood up, pushing away from the couch and walking to the small kitchen area. What was happening. How was this happening?

"I love you too, Rem," Lysander finally admitted out loud. "And that's why I'm telling you all of this." He hated himself for what he was doing to her, but felt like it was for the best. She had to know the truth, maybe it wasn't too late to mend the relationship she had had with Hadley. (LMAO ALL THOSE HADS) "You deserve better than this," he said, while standing up and simultaneously motioning to their apartment. "You deserve better than me...a selfish, stupid, brother."

"I can't do this right now," Remy said, Lysander's words falling to a deaf ear. She didn't know what to say, or how to act. She didn't know how to turn feelings off or pretend they didn't exist right now, when usually she was a master. It seemed whenever something mattered to her, really mattered, she lost all sense of self.

Without another word, Remy walked to the door and left, walking quickly down the stairs and leaving the building, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts she couldn't fathom into meaning.

Lysander watched her go but didn't try to stop her. She needed time alone, and he was sure that he was the last clio she wanted to see tonight. He sighed heavily and headed to his bedroom. He was a real fuck up, no wonder nobody had ever wanted him. He threw himself into bed, and laid there for a while before falling into a fitful sleep.