My journey through trying to conceive after losses and living with PCOS and MTHFR.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wednesday

I feel a little better today than my last post. Could be the adderall, could be every single person I know confronting me about it. I also emailed resolve some time last week and got a response on Monday. They have a support group in the city on the 3rd Tuesday of each month. While it is a start, I don't feel like that is going to be enough. I'm also trying to find a therapist. I don't want some woman whose walls are littered with pictures of her children, but this is Oklahoma, finding another infertile, especially one with a degree could prove difficult.

I've been babysitting a lot lately which is $nice$ and I'm still waiting on my drug test to come back from MSN. I just wish they could pull my file from last time I worked there so I wouldn't have to jump through so many hoops. The drug test is taking so long because of my prescription to Adderall. I've failed every drug test I've ever taken because of that tiny blue pill. (well all except one and I'll touch on that in a second.) The reason it is taking so long this time is because my prescribing physician is out of the office until the end of June, at the very least, and I haven't been able to reach her nurse. Now the wonderful story about the drug test I passed! It was my drug test for Mercy and it was literally two days after my most recent d&c. I still had morphine, hydrcodone, oxycodone, adderall, and xanax in my system. It was a shock when called to say I had passed the very next day. I've never had a drug test be that quick! I called the prescribing dr to thank him for answering them so speedily. Ha! They never talked to him or my pharmacy. They never saw my pill bottles or anything! Come to find out 8 months later they had mixed my urine up with someone else's. That person never got the job and was actually suing the hospital. I'm not too sure how they figured it was mine but oh well. I was put on suspension until my next drug test came back (happily positive this time, just like it should have been in the first place.)

What else is new? I got a 3.54 GPA this semester which raises my cumulative to right where it should be for pharmacy school. It hit me today. I'm going to be a fucking pharmacist some day. I am smart enough and I'm going to get in. I never get my hopes too far up for anything so I always would walk the walk and talk the talk about pharmacy school, while in the back of my mind thinking, "yea right!" It's not just a dream anymore, it's a plan. No kids, money issues, or work can get in my way!

I also ordered a new TV (46" 1080p LCD) and a new computer (one of those little mini ones that will fit nicely in my purse for school), and a new computer for my mom. The TV is a downsize from a 55" but it was a big, rear projection so the HD quality will be so much better, and 46" is probably more realistic for our living room. We are going tonight to look for a nice TV stand at Target or Mathis Brother's.

I'm going to email resolve back and let them know I am for sure coming. I'm pretty nervous because I have the feeling I will be the youngest. I'm also trying to figure out what to wear! If you have been to something like this please let me know your thoughts!