First, we invite you to consider the family and friends who live in your home. Making sure you have the support of the people your child interacts with every day is a good place to start. Here are some questions to consider:

Is everyone in our home affirming my child’s gender?

Does anyone need information, education, or extra support (e.g. siblings)?

Is everyone in agreement about when and how to disclose my child’s gender identity?

Next we offer some food for thought when planning how to come out to family members and friends:

Work with your child to decide when and how disclosures should be made

People will have a range of reactions, and some may not know how to react. Being ready to answer questions and provide information is key. It can also be helpful to let people know how you would like them to support you, your child, and your family. Here are some ideas to consider:

Meet in a place where everyone feels comfortable

Have some resources ready to share

Ask for the support you need

Give time and space for them to process the information

If necessary, set boundaries for how supportive they need to be to be in contact with your family

Have a plan to debrief with a supportive person later on

Check in with your child

As new friends come into your life, you will have more choices to make about disclosure. Regularly checking in with your child about how private they want to be, and whether they want to disclose their own information or have you share it for them is important.

Having conversations about what will happen when you run into old acquaintances or how your child would like to deal with people who are disrespectful (e.g. misgender or use the wrong name) before it happens can help these situations go much smoother.