Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Making room

For a long time I have felt unsettled in my heart.
It's been too hard to explain it and so I haven't really tried to write about it here. I haven't even really tried to talk about it with many people. And when I do, it seems to come out all wrong.

This morning I read this in my devotions and it just so perfectly explains the inner battle I have been having.

The priorities I have in my life are not lining up with how I spend my time.

I did an exercise a few months back where I wrote out what I thought my priorities were and then in the next column I wrote out what a typical day looked like and how I spent my time. The two lists did not match up. I was wasting away my days. Not pouring into what my priorities were "suppose" to be, but rather into meaningless, wasteful things.

And so I have been on a journey to figure this all out.
Last month after a sweet friend recommended it, I started reading the book 7 by Jen Hatmaker.

The concept of 7 is to fast 7 areas of excess in our lives (one fast per month) in order to make more room for God.

More room.

Maybe my heart has been out of balance because is is so jam packed with excess.
It's been so cluttered with "stuff".

I read the book from cover to cover in 2 days. And got excited.
Here I have some practical ways to walk out this unsettled feeling I have in my heart.

I decided to do each fast for 2 weeks. 14 days of giving up a specific area in my life that I can then allow more room for his spirit.

Food.
Clothing.
Possessions.
Media.
Waste.
Spending.
Stress.

Seven areas in my life that I can take a closer look at and re-arrange priorities in.

First up was Food. I just finished this 2 week fast on Sunday.

I've always had the intention of feeding my family well. I have always wanted to serve healthy, wholesome meals. But the reality has been that more often than not our diet consisted of processed junk. Lack of planning. Convenience. And really just laziness all contributed to our multiple times per week drive-thru meals and phone calls to order pizza. Sigh.

For the two weeks I choose 7 food "groups" that I would be allowed to have:
Fruit
Vegetables
Meat
Dairy
Nuts
Weird flours to bake with (almond, quinoa, flaxseed)
Tea

A few things you need to know. I love pop. Especially fountain pop. Preferably from a drive thru.
I also love chocolate. As in I need to have it in some form or another every single day.
Candy and chips and pretzels and ice cream were our treats of choice for after the kids were in bed.

For two weeks I had to say goodbye to the McDonald's line up, the daily chocolate bars I once
enjoyed. I bid farewell to candy, chips, ice cream and all things
sugary and processed.

It's weird. I thought that these two weeks were going to be torture. That I wouldn't be able to live through them, but in fact they have been wonderful.

Some nights (due to planning) turned out awesome. And some
nights we didn't eat until after 7pm, but all
in all I am proud to say we didn't drive through one line up to pick up
food. All of our meals were home cooked, without sugar (and the first week without wheat- but that's a whole other story!) healthy and delicious!

Through these past two weeks God has shown me a lot. I believe it's because I have allowed him room. In my everyday. So many opportunities these past
couple of weeks to speak with him. Focus my attention to Him. Pray for
family & friends, and actually see some of those prayers
answered. It's been so good that to have these opportunities where I would normally indulge and instead take a
step back and spend time in prayer rather than stuffing my face. HaHa.
God is fun.

What have I learned?

* I can cook healthy, yummy, pretty meals that my family actually enjoy.

* I have more energy when I eat healthy- go figure!

* Saying no to sugar was not as hard as I thought.

* Habits can be broken.

* Making our own granola bars and fruit roll ups is fun :)

* The kids love eating healthy.

* I emotionally eat. I happy eat, sad eat, mad eat, stress eat....
basically any form of emotion is covered in food. Rather than eating for
health, I fuel for emotions. This is a work in progress.

* And the biggest thing I have learned??......I feel entitled- even in the
food I eat. Like somehow I "deserve" to eat what I want when I want to because I
give "so much" to my family, and I deserve some small reward. Right?! Yikes!

I have allow entitlement in through food and it just grows from there to other areas of my heart. What a crazy concept. I didn't even realize that I was doing this. Thankful that He opens our eyes to areas in our hearts that He wants to touch.

It's surprising, after these two weeks I'm not even really craving all the terrible stuff I used to put in my
body. For me this fast has been about taking a step back and seeing what
food has done to my body. That we really are temples of the Holy Spirit
and that the way we eat can in fact be a form of worship. Craziness.

I am not going to swear off all the yummy sugary treats forever, but my way of thinking has changed. These treats will be just that- treats. Something to enjoy every once and awhile, not everyday. I am excited to continue to serve my family healthy home cooked meals and enjoy the fact that every once and awhile we will splurge on a meal out. Moderation. It's a good thing.

7 comments:

Great post. I really like the idea of that book. I need to check it out. If you'd like to continue with the food being a way to be in touch with God, read "Spirit Led Eating". It was an eye-opener for me!

Sigh, I wish I knew what to say but mostly I just feel this welling up of love in my heart when I read this. He is so pleased with you for this, Sara. And I'm so inspired. I wish I could get my words out like you have here. Love you friend!

A great great post! A few months back our pastor spoke about 5 main idols in present day society: faith, fitness, fashion, family, finances. But I think food should be a 6th. I love to eat. L.O.V.E. to eat. And I always find excuses - I'm pregnant. I'm nursing. I'm running. But really it boils down to I want what I want when I want it. I am incredibly interested to read this. Thank you for sharing. About the book. And your journey.

we tend to eat like your fast. the change took place after we did a daniel fast 3 years ago. however, lately i have been in a lot of physical pain, and entitlement has crept it's way into my eating. today i ate not one, but two of the kids chip bags. i NEVER do that. but {whine} i don't feel good and deserve to have whatever i want to make me happy {insert feet stomping, and pouting}!

and the reason i need this book now is because that entitlement transfers over into every other area of my life, too.

So good to read about your journey. Thank you for sharing all that you have learned and how you have been challenged! We have been working on excess in the house. We spent 5 days cleaning out and organizing our garage... then had a garage sale today. We feel sooo much lighter and more peaceful!