I couldn't bring myself to pen down any of the thoughts that have been running through my head...
[In reply to]

Can't Post

... since I read the news this morning. I've been pondering about a lot of things, not all of which can be said in a public forum without me running the risk of exposing my most sentimental side.

Guillermo, or GDT, as I've learned to call you, I don't know you personally, but I do really feel like I "know" you. That probably makes no sense, but I suppose you do have an inkling of what I'm trying to convey.

To go back a few years, let me say that I hated the idea of someone other than PJ directing these films. After the months of uncertainty, you finally came on board, and I had no idea what to expect of you - you were the "wild card" on this project.

But over these couple of years you've shared with us not just your vision for The Hobbit but also your notion of fantasy and how fantastical creatures can come to embody human traits both at their best and worst. Before long, I was no longer afraid for The Hobbit. Yes, I was cautious about my expectations, but I also came to trust in you to make these the best films they could be. I became a believer.

This morning I feel a strange sense of loss - strange because I ask myself "How can you feel like you've lost something you never had?" And I'm telling myself "No. I did have GDT. We did "have" GDT. He was not only THE director, one whom I no longer felt was imposed on me but one whom I wanted to see make these films... no, he was OUR friend". We none of us have seen what you've done with these films thus far, and our only contact with you has been via these boards, and sheesh! I will miss that. You're a funny guy GDT, your posts could have lightened our hearts at the worst of times, and yet they had a certain gravity that gave us little glimpses into the brilliant person that you are.

I don't know where and how to end this post. Nothing I've said seems enough, nor will be. I'm not angry, not frustrated, not... nothing! Today I want to be silent, I want to be by myself. I don't feel anything. I feel... numb! I wonder if you know that feeling...