Goodbye, Bacon Briefs: The FHM Guide To Culling Your Man-Drobe

Aside from buying clothes, another major man-fashion hassle is having to let go of them. It’s easy to get attached—especially when you think, “I paid P1,000 for this shirt!” Yes, in 2001.

We all need some closet space in the near future, whether it’s for the gifts you'll receive from your S.O. this Valentine's or for the new clothes you'll gift yourself if you're #ForeverAlone. So, in this edition of FHM Knows Style, here's a handy guide to help you narrow down what to keep and what move to the big laundry pile in the sky.

FOR COLLARED SHIRTS

Yellowed collarOften, some scrubbing of the collar (and direct cleaner application) is enough to rescue a stained shirt. Consider a bimpo for some damage control on really sweaty days. But if the stain stays, then the shirt goes.

Nakabuka naIf your previously neat kwelyo has turned into a spread collar, then it’s time to shop for a new shirt that looks less disco. To prevent this in the future, invest in shirts with collar stays–those little insertable plastic tabs.

FOR TEES

Faded designThat’s legit vintage style for free. Some wear is fine, just not the print that gets more cracked than a Philippine road after a rainstorm. Try treating them as second-tier shirts for quick grocery trips or very casual hangouts.

Butas naYou think: “I don’t notice small holes while wearing it anyway. I didn’t even know I was wearing a holey shirt until someone saw them and told me!” Our reply: “Exactly.”

FOR SHORTS

A rip in the seatA hole in the butt seam, because either you sat on something sharp or your giant ass cheeks overwhelmed the fabric, is good for an easy and guaranteed repair. Fact: Every man has ripped the ass of a pair of shorts.

This is the third timeIt has lived a full life and should be relegated to basahan duties at home.

FOR PANTS

TearsSome people tear their pants in the name of fashion, and you can even buy pants that are pre-ripped. If you’re that lazy. In other words, it’s totally fine if you’re into that look.

The pockets are ripped to shredsYour left pocket develops a hole, so you transfer your keys and loose change to the right side…that then develops a bigger hole. You switch back to the left and live with it, until it decides to rip from its seam and four out of five attempts to use it result in things sliding down your leg. It takes a long time to get here though, so you should be able to grab a fresh pair by now at least.

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FOR SHOES

Sole separationSome DIY rugby application or a professional stitch job at a cobbler can make it look good as new.

Crumbling midsoleCrumbling isn’t just a sign of wear because this also happens to closet queens that you rarely wear. They look fine until you start stomping around and they literally fall to pieces. There’s no saving these.

FOR SOCKS

Some baconingIt happens, and as long as you don’t have to pull them back up three times a day, you can probably still get a good number of wears out of them before they permanently droop to your ankles.

Toe holesSocks insulate your shoes from your feet sweat, so holey pairs could lead to blisters–aside from looking really gross.