“Barely Worth Dismissing”

Apologies for today’s lighter-than-usual posting. I’m mobile, working on the Now the Hell Will Start movie and enjoying Assamese tea at a Cobble Hill joint. Rest assured, the esoterica will recommence in full tomorrow.

In the interim, please enjoy one of Microkhan’s guilty pleasures: Hilariously negative movie reviews. There just aren’t many harsher thumbs downs than the one Entertainment Weeklyoffered the dueling lambada movies of 1990: Lambada and The Forbidden Dance. As my pal Ta-Nehisi would say, the essence:

In ”Lambada,” the hero is a high school math teacher by day, a lambada dancer by night. After strutting his stuff at the local nightclub, he goes into the back room and heads up a special-education program for wrong-side-of-the-tracks kids. The name of the program? Galaxy High (because these kids are reaching for the stars!). If nothing else, ”Lambada” has the distinction of being the first dance movie to climax with a trigonometry competition.

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[…] time for Microkhan to offer a parting treat before he jets ’til Monday morning: Yet another hilariously negative movie review of yore. Inspired by the A.V. Club’s recent smackdown, I’ve decided to call out Dana […]