FEATURED ARTICLES ABOUT MADALYN MURRAY O HAIR - PAGE 4

All but solving the mystery of the 1995 disappearance of Madalyn Murray O'Hair, federal authorities confirmed Thursday that bones dug up from a ranch in January are those of the atheist leader and two of her relatives. Scientists used medical and dental records to identify the remains of O'Hair, 76; her son Jon Garth Murray, 40, and granddaughter Robin Murray O'Hair, 30. The family disappeared from San Antonio in 1995 along with $500,000 in gold coins. Investigators believe they were kidnapped, robbed and killed and their bodies cut up and dumped on a ranch 125 miles from San Antonio.

Did America's most famous atheist take the money and run? And is Madalyn Murray O'Hair, whose federal lawsuit in 1963 removed prayer and Bible reading from American public schools, now enjoying a South Pacific exile? According to tax statements of two atheist organizations she controlled, at least $625,000 disappeared last year about the same time that Murray O'Hair, her son Jon and adopted daughter Robin mysteriously vanished. "The $612,000 shown as a decrease in net assets or fund balance represents the value of the United Secularists of America's assets believed to be in the possession of Jon Murray, former secretary," read the sworn 1995 tax statement of that organization.

A former office manager for missing atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair has been arrested on a firearms charge, and a lawyer says he has been told by a federal prosecutor that the man has been implicated in her murder. David Roland Waters, 52, was arrested Wednesday by agents from the FBI, Internal Revenue Service and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and charged with being a felon in possession of 119 rounds of ammunition, said Daryl Fields, spokesman for the U.S. attorney's office in San Antonio.

On March 15, 44 B.C., Roman dictator Julius Caesar was assassinated by a group of nobles that included Brutus and Cassius. In 1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain, concluding his first voyage to the Western Hemisphere. In 1820 Maine became the 23rd state. In 1875 the Roman Catholic archbishop of New York, John McCloskey, was named the first American cardinal, by Pope Pius IX. In 1944, during World War II, Allied bombers again raided German-held Monte Cassino.

What becomes a legend most? Probably a newspaper column. At least, that's what has befallen Jan Harold Brunvand. An expert on "urban myths" and author of three books on the subject, Brunvand now also appears in smaller newspapers across the country. Something of a legend himself among folklorists, he finds no shortage of material and recently chided several other columnists for printing versions of the "dead cat in a package" story. The tale, in varying forms, has to do with a businessman who runs over a cat. Embarrassed, he puts the dead cat in a paper bag and drives away, planning to dispose of it later.

May Day is the most sacred holiday in the calendar of communism, an occasion for Marxist-Leninist regimes to pay homage to the workers in whose name they claim to govern. Tuesday, in Moscow, it was an opportunity for the workers and other citizens to speak for themselves. And how they spoke! The Politburo's ears must still be burning. Ten years ago, or even five years ago, the thought of allowing dissidents in the Soviet Union's May Day observance would have been about as plausible as inviting Madalyn Murray O`Hair to sponsor a float in a Christmas parade.

Twenty-one million people can be wrong. That's what the Federal Communications Commission says, citing piles of evidence in its Washington mailroom. Actually, the mounds of mail represent an annoyance that won`t go away despite 14 years of trying by the FCC, mounds that continue to accumulate although tons have been hauled away to incinerators, blending the "three R's" of trouble: rumor, reaction and religion. Since 1974, the federal agency has received 21 million letters, postcards and petitions protesting what each signer assumes to be an imminent appearance by renowned atheist Madalyn Murray O`Hair at an FCC hearing to demand that all religious broadcasting be terminated.

Dear Readers: Do you have any idea when your religion was founded and by whom? If you are not interested in the subject, skip today's column and go directly to the horoscope or crossword puzzle. I found the following fascinating: If you are a member of the Jewish faith, your religion was founded by Abraham about 4,000 years ago. If you are Hindu, your religion developed in India around 1500 B.C. If you are a Buddhist, your religion split from Hinduism, and was founded by Buddha, Prince Siddhartha Gautama of India, about 500 B.C. If you are Roman Catholic, Jesus Christ began your religion in the year 33. If you are Islamic, Mohammed started your religion in what is now Saudi Arabia around 600 A.D. If you are Eastern Orthodox, your sect separated from Roman Catholicism around the year 1000.

Myron "Slim" Brundage, 86, a retired house painter and self-described "janitor" of the off-beat College of Complexes, for many years provided Chicago with one of its most unusual forums for free speech. A resident in recent years of El Centro, Calif., he died there Oct. 18 of a brain hemorrhage. A 1971 article in the Tribune said of him, "He has failed so often that failure has made him free." The article added, "The `fully discredited` college, which has been kicked out of five Chicago locations since its founding in 1951, offers free- for-all open forums with speakers discoursing on topics like, `The Farce of the So-called Paris Peace Conference` and `Why Chicago Needs Political Kidnapping.

Memo To: Brigitte Boisselier, scientific director, Clonaid Inc. From: God Congratulations! Now that creating human life is no longer My gig alone, I want to wish you, er, Godspeed. You are new to this thing, however, and I should warn you that even My early efforts were not without mishap. For example, for a long time after the Creation, what with all the begattings, I plumb forgot to make females. This proved very unfair to Eve. Indeed, some of My minor design flaws are with you still--nipples on men, hair in the ears, cellulite, etc. And even now, just when I think I've got the big recipe down pat, every so often the assembly line coughs out a Michael Jackson.