Bookishy!

I have a French paper to write, so naturally I am procrastinating. That, and I have 250 words (out of approx. 1000) about "l'idee de la liberte" in Carmen, and it's not even 6 PM, which is just frighteningly far ahead of schedule, so I obviously had to throw myself off track for a while. Specifically, by talking about...

You know, with all the talk resurfacing about Twilight lately, it's occurred to me that the real reason I won't read those books - I mean, besides the obvious fact that they're about vampires and as such will probably talk about the things in the neck which vampires like to bite which will make me scream and squeal horribly at any and all such references, I DEEPLY DESPISE ALL THINGS VAMPIRIC IN CASE THIS IS NOT YET CLEAR...the real reason is that I'm afraid I might like them.

See, the more people describe why the Edward/Bella relationship is unhealthy, the more I start to fear that I'd be all over that, because...man. It just so, so does not push my "omg unhealthy" buttons. It's more like it pings my "whee, ultra-stereotypical gender roles!" shipping radar. And I kind of feel that I might, uh, in theory, deeply approve? I have a terribly difficult time shipping teenagers, but I fear that I could get behind this one in a heartbeat. Possibly even be swept away by the romance, if the inherent disdain of this series and all its characters wasn't too deeply ingrained.

Problem is, I don't have a lot of fandom cred (since fandom is usually known for being all open-minded and I am the opposite of that), but this was one of the things in which I found a common bond! Displaying the faults of and skewering Twilight is an intellectual sport! I am one of the cool kids! Even if I did legitimately end up liking it, I could not admit that in polite company - hell, I could not admit that to myself. I would be forced to commit seppuku in light of the overwhelming shame attached to such an admission.

This series is vastly, vastly inferior to Harry Potter in every way. This is indisputable fact, and in fact even if I did like it there's no way I could admit to its being good writing, based on the excerpts I've seen posted in various places, but...in all those interviews, where people mock Stephenie Meyer for her self-delusion/inability to recognize what's wrong with her books/staunch defense of all her characters and their choices? I get her perspective. Pretty much every stupid time. I would be her, exactly, saying all those same things.

Also, it kind of physically pains me that Pattison (and Stewart? Haven't heard so much about her) have such obvious disdain for the characters they're portraying in the film. I mean, that's just insulting to both creator and fans. If you don't believe in your character, particularly if said character is not supposed to be some sort of evil villain, why are you even here? Parodies I will collect by the basketful, but I get no joy from this kind of mockery at all. ---------In a note related only by the fact that they are both books, I forgot to add earlier, I have a bone to pick with the ending of Great Expectations:

TOk, FINE, so I was spoiled by David Copperfield, but this book is the same kind of personal narrative bildungsroman! It was only natural for me to assume that after he pined over Estella all the time and lost her in marraige to another man, there was some other woman to save him, right? And I couldn't figure out how this was going to end until I remembered "Oh yeah, there's Biddy, biding her time back home!" Much cheered by this thought, I sat back in contentment and waited, waited all the way until he goes back home ready to tell her about this...

And then she's married to Joe. What? WHAT? Blindside! I declare unfair blindside! That literally never even crossed my mind! I am never going into a classic unspoiled again. It's not even that I really mind, because after about two minutes' reflection you realize that Joe is the better man by about a million times and it's much sweeter - my prof declares Joe Gargery her "favorite character in all of fiction" - but still. Was not expecting that.

And while for the sake of being contrary, I agree that I like the ambiguous ending, where he and the widowed Estella meet again as friends with an ambiguous suggestion that they might properly end up together, rather than Dickens' original one (TAKE THAT, MAJORITY OF CLASS!)...I don't know. It bugs. Possibly I think Estella is too good for him, in the sense of "despite her origins of birth, she was raised in a higher class than you, Pip, and you are like mud on her shoe by comparison."

(I don't know. I identified with Miss Havisham too, whereas my Mom was all thrilled when she caught on fire. (Mom: "Isn't it great when the crazy old lady burns herself?" Me: (horrified) "ARE YOU INSANE? MISS HAVISHAM IS AWESOME." Mom: "I should have known...you probably like her because she hasn't changed anything in 50 years." Me: "An excellent way to live!")

And Mom thinks Pip is a greatly redeemed character, whereas I mostly just want to punch him in the face, a lot, every other chapter. I don't even know why. He's just a brat, as a child or an adult.

Oh! The part where he refuses to take another cent of Magwitch's money, and lets it be turned over to the state instead, that's what finally turned me against him. IT IS FREE MONEY, FOOL. FREE AND DELIBERATELY GIVEN-TO-YOU MONEY, FOOL! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. Etc, etc, etc.

I'm going to go back to Carmen now. There's a deep irony in the fact that I've already written 2 papers on it...it's not like it's the greatest short story I've ever read, but somehow I am able to find endless wells of discussion points in it, so here we are.

P.S. (...why is this highlighted in grey) Found Without a Trace! I think! Come to me, episode...come to me...*pets* good old Google, only five false leads before it gave up the goods!