Looking for love in all the wrong places

I was recently browsing through profiles on match.com and one gentleman’s headline was “Looking for love in all the wrong places”. I wondered to myself why would he put that as his match headline. Was he being honest about his bad experiences with love? Or did he really think since everything else was wrong match.com would be the right place to find love? Anyway this headline turned on a light in my head and I thought, I am very much guilty of that too! I can say that one flaw that I have is that I look for long in all of the wrong places. So my next question is how do I fix that? How am I supposed to know which place is the right place?

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Now when I say I look for love in all of the wrong places I don’t always mean in the literal sense. Some instances I look for love in the wrong type of guy. The guy I like just because he is gorgeous, the guy who is emotionally unavailable, the guy who is just looking for sex real quick, the guy who is only focused on himself and no one else, or the guy with the baggage.

I rarely go out to club or hit the bar scene looking for love. Looking for love with the presence of excessive alcohol can lead to a not so good outcome (speaking from experience). So, if I am at the club the intention is just to have a good time with friends not to meet my husband. Unless by some weirdness of the universe all rules are broken, the stars are aligned in perfect form, then I may just meet Mr. Forever, at the club. Not holding my breath for that to happen.

Love in all the wrong places. Love has to do with timing, right place, right time, right? Or maybe not, maybe it is sheer luck. Just happens one day, blindsides you while you are not even looking.

I wonder is there ever a right place to look for love? Once a male friend told me to stop looking. I poorly tried to convince him that I wasn’t looking, I was just browsing every once in a while. Yeah he didn’t buy that. He said “stop looking”. My next thought was, “if I don’t look then how will I know when I found it?”.

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Thinking back some of the places where I have looked for love may have defiantly been the wrong place. Let’s see, the gym, hiking, at the auto shop while my car was getting fixed, at the mall, or even on the NYC subway! Hey cute guys have been at all these places, and since they were cute I gave them my number thinking that there may be a small chance we would have a connection. EPIC FAIL! Nothing came from any of those situations, not even heartache, actually more like a headache.

At the present moment I am taking a break from “looking” for love. Since I keep going to the wrong place, I first have to figure out where the right place would be then continue my search. I am having a focus shift back to what I can control, myself! So where is the right place to find love? Well stay tuned, because when I reach that place I will be sure to let you know!