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My Wifey

First of all, there is a bit of a difference between ‘wife’ and ‘wifey’. Let’s just get that out in the open. Wifey is a girlfriend or fiancee that is wife material. Men and women view this role differently. Men could: a. not wife you; or b. consider wifing you or moving in that direction. If you are a wifey, you need to figure out which category you’re in.

Women a lot of times put themselves in category B and start acting as if they have graduated to wife-hood. Ladies- stop it. If you start doing everything a wife does, why should you graduate? Trust me, it’s hard to stay in your role and not cross over. You hungry? Sure, I’ll cook something for us. You need to wash some clothes? Sure you can add your clothes to mine in the washing machine. It becomes really sticky if you cross boundaries, for example, if you live together or if you’ve been together for fifteen years. A man (and sometimes wifey) gets comfortable and sees no point in making the relationship official.

A wife, on the other hand, has the ‘wifey’ duties and some. We have made that commitment to you through God, to be with you forever. Wifey could be there today and get sick of you and peace out tomorrow because she can. A wife is committed to making herself and her husband (and vise versa of course) happy. Wifey could, but they aren’t obligated to. A wife has financial, emotional, spiritual, social and everything personal connected to her husband. Wifey may have one or two out of four (if you have all of the above, you’re doing too much).

Any thoughts? How did you move from wifey to wife or are you stuck in the wifey role?

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8 thoughts on “My Wifey”

My husband never called me “wifey” but he always said he was going to marry me. When I came around I cooked and cleaned like I would as his girlfriend and as his wife. Then after 8 months he asked me to marry him. I guess mine was a bit different then the norm.

Congratulations on your nuptials. I would say that there are always exceptions to the norm. Some guys know what they want and don’t B.S. around by taking advantage of ‘wifey’. I had the opportunity to experience both a. and b.; I was with one guy off and on for five years as ‘wifey’ and never got a ring (fortunately). On the other hand, in my last relationship, my husband put a ring on it after two years and I was told up front that he wanted to get married. The difference becomes clear when you have a guy who is just talking about making the relationship permanent, versus them making moves towards doing it; a woman doing wifely duties TO get the ring, versus a woman doing it because that’s what she wants to do. Either way for the woman, it’s a slippery slope.

My ex bf called me wifey once. I was touched and became more like a wife material than a gf because I wanted to get marry with him faster. Who the hell knows he left and things didn’t work out. Wifey or not wifey, I learned I just need to take care of myself well and not manipulated by mens’ words anymore.

It is an exciting feeling when you hear that word for the first time. You think, ‘Oh, this is it,’ but by the way this term has been thrown around, it doesn’t necessarily lead to marriage. It’s oftentimes misleading. It is unfortunate that he left, however, it is also fortunate that he stepped aside to make room for the person that needs to be there. I’m glad that you are taking this time to focus on you and making yourself happy.

Man….what’s in a title tho? Is this a play on pet names like “boo thang” or “my boo”? If you’re someone’s wife then your role needs not be explained/described. If you’re dating and want to cook, clean, assist with bills then it is merely out of the kindness of your heart. Nothing should be expected of it, though things should be reciprocated imo (in my opinion). It just bothers me that so many people get caught up into these roles that the sexes play and what’s expected because of it. Why worry about it? That “hungry” role though… it’s for the weak minded.

Ok dig this. Man and woman have multiple conversations about marriage and their future together then it’s real. Right? Am I on par, because I go on these tangents. Wifey was dope when the group “NEXT” sang it, but really it’s on some gut buddy stuff. Yea….gut buddy. BOOM!

A lot of women (I can’t say all) thrive on titles. We need to define the relationship. That’s just how some of us are. Who wants to spend a lot of time and effort into a relationship that doesn’t go anywhere or blossom. For instance, if you cook, clean, pay half on bills and you have been wifey for ten years AND you want to be married, to me that’s a problem. If you’re just talking about it and not building some sort of timeline (for ex. after I finish school, I would like to get married) or working toward it after a significant amount of time has been invested, that may signal a problem too. You can talk all you want, but if there’s no action, what are you really talking about?