The 7 Most Annoying People At Your Super Bowl Party

"Oh YEAH - my favorite part of this huge popular sports event is also being advertised to by brands. I can't wait to see what washed-up celebrity shows up to shill for chips in-between an actually interesting game. It's like how people only go on airplanes for the free magazines, or go outside to see billboards!"

Note:Plus, these days, pretty much every big Super Bowl commercial gets released on Youtube like a full week before the game.

Uh, I don't "get" sports. That's why I showed up to this party built around a sports event - to remind everyone that I'm better than them for not caring about this thing they all like. And I will remind you. Loudly. And frequently. And I'll ask really basic questions all the time, because even though sports are dumb, I'm even dumber.

"UGGGH! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT CALL?! WHAT. THE. FUCK! As someone watching the game from thousands of miles away and from a few controlled angles on a TV where my view is consistently being blocked by Fat Doug, I definitely am in a better position to make calls than the refs who are actually there. AND WHO ATE ALL THE TOSTITOS HINT OF LIME CHIPS?!"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THESE TOSTITOS ARE LIMEY AS FUCK HAHAHAHA! ALSO I DRANK ALL THE VODKA IS THE GAME OVER YET DUDE" (*vomits all over the veggie platter*)