Q&A – Why Won’t I Commit to My Boyfriends?

Daily Inspiration

Q: I’m a successful 45-year-old single mother of three. I tend to stay in relationships for one year, and after we move in together I get bored and then move out. I think I like the concept of being a couple, but haven’t been successful finding that one person I can truly commit to. I’m currently living with a guy and he’s talking about a future together, but all I can think about is leaving and starting over. What’s driving me to be so restless?

-Beverly S.

A: Hi Beverly,

You ask a lot of great questions regarding your tendency to continually choose wrong men and then walk away, in frustration, from the relationships you build. My first reaction is that this pattern of yours is no coincidence and, for some unconscious reason, you’re unwilling to commit to one man and communal living. It could simply be that you, like so many other people, just enjoy living alone and find life much simpler and more satisfying on your own. However, if I’m reading between the lines correctly, that doesn’t appear to be what you want.

It sounds to me that the clock starts ticking the moment you move in with someone. The fact that this is a pattern that you’ve repeated numerous times over the years and are about to repeat it again reminds me of the following saying: “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got!” I suspect that there’s something much deeper going on inside of you that’s driving this repetitive behavior, Beverly. With that said, I suggest you make an appointment with a therapist and investigate this frustrating pattern with a trained listener before you walk away from your current relationship. There’s a reason that you keep ending up in this situation, Beverly, and the sooner that you get to the bottom of it, the sooner you’ll be free of it!

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