I am leaving my church in a few weeks and that means that I am grappling with the challenges that happen when a pastor leaves her congregation.

In some ways leaving a ministry is like leaving any other job. A date is set for your last day, and in the days preceding that you get things organized so the transition will be easy for everybody.

But there are significant ways in which a spiritual leader's leaving is different from other job leavings.

In this Forum on Faith, I am going to use the terms "spiritual leader" and "pastor" interchangeably. In my mind they are the same.

I realize that many spiritual communities do not call their leader "pastor," but the role is often similar no matter what the title. Even though our belief systems may differ widely, leaders of spiritual communities face many of the same issues in their work.

A spiritual leader is involved in some of the most powerful moments of life. We preside at weddings and funerals, baptisms and confirmations.

We walk with our parishioners as they face illness, divorce and loss. At every worship service we speak of the deepest longings of human beings, our longings for relationship and for purpose.

All spiritual leaders seek to nurture the souls of their congregants.

As a pastor, I am bound by a Code of Ethics that defines the boundaries of my work. As an ordained minister with standing in the American Baptist Churches in the USA, the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), and the United Church of Christ, I have three Codes of Ethics to abide by, but there is very little difference between them.

Each speaks of the obligation to serve and not abuse congregants, and each speaks of the pastor's duty to speak positively of all the spiritual leaders who have served or will serve the congregation.

Each Code of Ethics also speaks of the necessity of severing all ties with congregants upon the spiritual leader's resignation or retirement.

Is this hard? Of course it is, but time has shown that it is best for both churches and spiritual leaders.

The phrase "severing all ties" sounds harsh. But the reasoning behind this stipulation is that the life that the congregation and the spiritual leader have shared together is over, and that both now need to move freely into their separate futures.

It is human nature to resist going into the unknown. But it is not good for churches to cling to the past, so the Code of Ethics demands that both congregations and pastors let go of the past and move forward.