Hmm. Wet and tired I arrive here at midnight and try find the hostel. There's no hostel and nobody understands anything I say. I ride around for a bit and ask at the corner shop. Misunderstanding, the guy insists on sitting on the back of the bike and directing me to the hotel. It’s a completely different one and is 10km away from where my hostels meant to be. The hotel doesn’t take foreign guests so instead my helpful if not highly inebriated accomplice suggests I stay at his house and tells me not to be scared.

He gets another bottle of vodka and buys some food. He feeds me and everythings fine. He continues to drink and explains he’s on a 4 day streak of being hammered. This man turns out to be the weirdest man I’ve ever met. Not accepting any payment all he wants is some of my time. I think this is fair enough so oblige for an hour.

He then insists on cracking my back, doing some kind of energy reading and cracks my neck. This is particular uncomfortable and makes me think we wants to break my neck. He then goes about trying to 'heal’ my eyes. They’re red because Im tired and he wont just go to sleep. Instead he insists I put warmed tea leaves on my eyes for 10 minutes (note 2 sessions of this). He then gets his kitchen knives out and gets his naked wife up to pretend to stab him. He insists that eyes are not needed and so blindfolds himself and ask her to stab him. In heindsite this is quite amusing. He then takes the knife and enters his trance state (similar but somewhat different to the scene in green mile) exorcising the badness. My eyes are still terrible but I insist they’re fixed. This whole session goes on until 5 in the morning and I somewhat regret the free bed. I go to sleep, hide his kitchen knives and he has put on the calming tones of Vivaldi. I wake up 2 hours later, ensure all I need to do is walk out of the door, say goodbye to him and get out of there. Fun times. If you’d like his number I do have it somewhere.