Woodstock 2008 Will Support U.S. Troops

United States Vice President Dick Cheney has organized a three day outdoor rock concert in support of the United States troops. The concert is scheduled to take place at Yasgur's Farm in Bethel, NY, at the sight of the original Woodstock, on the weekend of August 15, 16, and 17.

Cheney made the statement, "We need the whole country to come together in support of our troops, regardless of our views about the war, itself. We want our troops to know that the people of our nation are behind them all the way. That moral support will give them the extra motivation to help them win the war."

So far, artists scheduled to perform include headliners Michael W. Smith, Toby Keith, Alan Jackson, Ronan Tynan, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Grand Funk Railroad, Baltimora, and the Honky Tonk Man (the greatest intercontinental champion of all time.) More artists that are less of a draw will be later announced. Motivational speakers include presidential hopeful John McCain, Newt Gingrich, Darryl Strawberry, and John Cleese(spokesman for Schwepps raspberry ginger ale.)

There will be an emergency pool of tomato juice, in case anyone gets sprayed by a skunk.

Tickets will go on sale June 1, starting at $120.00 each, which includes the three day concert, camping, a complementary Andes candy, and a certificate of authenticity. Proceeds of the concert ticket sales will go to benefit the families of the troops.

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