Q: My friend and I were having a discussion about love. Is there really a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

-Paulette D.

A: Hi Paulette,

For most people, love is the key to living a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. For others, however, love is just another four-letter word that is to be avoided at all costs. But for those who embrace love in their lives, you ask a great question regarding the difference between loving someone and being in love with him or her. I suggest we begin this short discussion with a definition.

First let’s define love. Love is defined by Merriam-Webster as “A deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person." Being in love with someone, on the other hand, involves the same feelings as love, but includes a sexual attraction or a “head over heels” component as well – and therein lies the difference between the two. In short, we love our family members and dear friends, but we are in love with our spouses and partners.