Paperhouse

Music can tantalize the aural senses, arouse the physical body, and complement the fine art of copulation. So for people who can’t stand Marvin Gaye and are tired of infomercials for Girls Gone Wild in the background while you’re trying to “get your bone on,” here’s a short stack of new choices provided by the DJs of WRCT.

Goth/Industrial: Here we have an expansive selection of choices depending on what kind of emotion you want to express, as long as it’s angry or sad. Depeche Mode’s “A Question Of Lust” or “Never Let Me Down Again” are tried and true slow romantic songs that set the mood and allow for some sensual writhing. Then, to pick up the pace and really get rough, try some aggrotech like Combichrist’s “You Will Be The Bitch Now” or “Enjoy The Abuse” — you’ll definitely show your partner who’s the boss. For those not interested in reaming but still wanting to make an impact, “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails is an absolute foolproof solution. Following the climax, we suggest either Wolfsheim’s “Lovesong” (for cuddles) or “I Don’t Love You Anymore” (to kick them out of your bed).

Metal: Most metal songs aren’t really designed to enhance your sexing. If they’re mentioning sex at all, it’s usually along the lines of W.A.S.P.’s “Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)” or Cannibal Corpse’s “Orgasm Through Torture” — not exactly the thing that most people would pick for getting it on. However, if you’re looking for background music, there are always bands like — in increasingly ambient order — My Dying Bride, Isis, Angel Eyes, Harvey Milk, Corrupted, or Sunn O))), which will at least not actively impair your mood-setting attempts. On the other hand, if your preferred manner of getting it on involves breaking furniture and possible contusions, it’s hard to go wrong with Motorhead or Dragonforce.

Electronic: If you don’t mind long, slow sex, there’s always “Fuck” by the Hafler Trio, which clocks in at nearly a half-hour of strange samples and typical creepy ambient atmosphere. If you like a little less subtlety, there’s Nymphomatriarch by Hecate and Venetian Snares, featuring song titles like “Blood on the Rope” and “Hymen Tramp Choir,” which is an album made entirely out of samples recorded via contact mikes of the two artists having sex in a hotel room. If you like things even less subtle than that, do it near a TV and put on the video for “Windowlicker” by Aphex Twin, or “flex” by Chris Cunningham.