Reuters: Whether He Wins or Loses his Race, Dreamy Beto O'Rourke Has Won The Most Important Thing -- Our Hearts

Well, they didn't say that exactly. Just pretty much that.

A commenter pretending to be the AP wrote that joke headline.

But Reuters does say that whether "Beto" -- note, he's not even fractionally Hispanic; this is entirely a fiction created for political purposes -- wins or loses, he "emerges victorious."

Well, he was born a winner -- straight (?), white, rich, male and connected. He's got the connections to get him out of a felony evasion and to get the Hispanic political establishment pretend he's not a 100% pasty white Irishman during campaign season.