Saturday, August 21, 2010

Captain Obvious

A little while ago my girls taught me a game. I believe they called it Captain Obvious.

You play it in the car. You are driving down the street. You see someone walking/driving/biking/running.

You holler something obvious at them. For instance, when they were teaching me the game we spotted a woman walking. I stuck my head out of the window and hollered, "You are carrying a yellow handbag!" Which, of course, she was.

You supposed to say things like:

You are a man!
You are walking!
Your top is white!

I cannot stop thinking about this game. I have to stop myself every day from playing it. I stop myself because, well, because I'm a spineless fraud? I'm a gutless wonder? Harsh? Maybe?

I drive a Jeep Wrangler (Ruby!) with no top in the summer, so I'm guessing that the two descriptors above are more apt than even I knew since they flew out of my fingers without my thinking about it. I'm just hanging out there for all to see in that damn car. No way to hide in any dim interior.

Plus, the things that spring into my mind when I want to play Captain Obvious while out and about aren't within the rules of the road so to speak (really?? so to speak???)

I want to holler things like:

Dude, you have on colorful underwear!
Are you crossing the street against the light?
You woke up and decided to put on that hat?

. . . and this one because it's summer in Minnesota

Is every damn road around here under construction???

I think I don't get the game. Or I get it and am ignoring the rules. Or I'm a bitch that needs to simmer down a step.

Every once in a while I stumble upon a blog that I really really like. Yours is just that blog. I would love that Captain Obvious game, however, in my case, I really would be yelling stuff out like, "Dude, you need to not cross when it's my light! I'll run you over I swear I will!" Is that how the game is played??? Probably not, but my version is fun too! I'll be back. I like you!

Hahahah...I think I play that game too...well in my head...I make up stuff that I think is going on...sometimes whole stories..maybe I should cut them short and scream them out...I think in my town I would get locked up...they are very uptight around here...and the things I would say are probably true...still I like your take on the game...can we play it in blogland..?

In the big city, you can get away with stuff like that -- people are anonymous. But you wouldn't want to yell at someone in another car, or they may swing around and get in your face - or your car's grill.

I live in a small city where you may not know everyone, but you see the same faces around all the time. When someone honks, it doesn't mean you should give them the finger, it means they probably know you and are saying "hi!"

But yelling something nice would be fun, a small act of kindness, brighten someone's day. The world could use a little brightening. :-)

See, I think this is a good gauge of people's personalities, because as soon as you said this, I thought: I'd be so yelling out things like, Dude you have a nice ass. Or Dude, I'm thinking about what those pecs (chest muscles, I swear, I'm talking chest muscles), look like under that sweaty running shirt.

Hmm. I guess that doesn't say much for me being a happily married mother of 3.