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5 Things They Don't Tell You About Kilimanjaro by Ben Colclough

Last year, an estimated 25,000 people set out to climb Mt Kilimanjaro,
Africa's highest mountain. In so doing, they ate approximately 110,000
snickers bars, drank 70,000 litres of tea, expelled 75 cubic metres of
intestinal gas and used 962 kilometres of toilet paper. More significant
for the rest of us, they also produced some 25,000 personal accounts of
the climb, tales of altitude, aptitude and attitude that have been
written up, blogged about or televised more times than Britney Spears'
waist line.

With all this exposure, you'd be forgiven for thinking that a trek up
Kili (as it's affectionately known by morons) would yield little in the
way of surprises, every trivial twist and turn having been cogitated ad
(altitudinal) nauseam in the pages of some glossy travel mag. Certainly
this was my feeling as I embarked on the climb last month: there was
nothing that could catch me unawares, right?

Well, it turns out I was wrong. And here in testament to the fact is a list of five things they don't tell you on the package.

Ants. Ok, so not a huge revelation, but a surprise
none the less: for the first few hours of our trek we were constantly
molested by angry blank ants. (Presumably we had disturbed their nests,
which were dotted along the trail.) Even our guide, Thomas, was caught
off guard, at one point having to strip naked to extricate some overly
curious specimens. Thankfully for Thomas -- and any as-yet-unsired
progeny -- the ants disappeared once we got to higher ground.

Flatulence. A bit crude I know, but this was truly
the most surprising part of the climb: altitude plays havoc with your
bowels! The final phase of the ascent, which covers the 1,200-odd metres
from Kibo Hut (4,703 m) to Uhuru Peak (5,895 m), was without doubt the
gassiest few hours of my life. I've since learnt that this is a common
condition caused by the differential in atmospheric pressure. It even
has a suitably stomach-churning name!

Snow. Or lack of, that should be. For the frozen
crown of Africa immortalized by Hemingway is alas all but departed. When
my father climbed the mountain in the early 1970s, the glacier spanned
the entire summit, and his grainy black-and-white photographs showed
squinting men silhouetted by the snowfall. Now, however, just a few
chunks of ice remain, and soon the country's natural emblem will lose
its top completely.Difficultly. Believe it or not, climbing Kili
isn't all that difficult. My pre-trip research had prepared me for five
days of bodily torture, but in fact any hardship incurred was less
physical than psychological. Providing one is spared the vice-like grip
of altitude sickness, which can fell even the most seasoned of
mountaineers, the going is relatively easy, albeit somewhat repetitive
(a lot of going up, then a lot of going down). The only real obstacle
between you and Uhuru is your own mind! Trite but true.

Dogs. Ok, this one's cheating a bit as it's not
technically my own discovery, but it happened while I was on the
mountain and it's too good to leave out. Reminiscent of the famous
frozen leopard described by Ernest Hemingway, a stray dog was found
alive and well on Uhuru peak, some 19,341 feet above sea level, where it
appeared to have been living for some time despite the freezing
temperatures and absence of a proper food source. According to our
guide, this dog wasn't the first aimless-looking creature to be spotted
skulking around on the summit. I didn't take it personally.
So there you have it: five tales of the unexpected from Africa's
highest peak. With the probable exception of the snowlessness,
prospective climbers may find none of the above on their own trek up
Kili. Rest assured, though, the mountain's still got a few new tricks up
her sleeve, not to mention an old dog or two to learn them.

For more information about Murder on Kilimanjaro and the Summit Murder Mystery series, CLICK HERE

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About Me

Charles G. Irion is the award-winning author and founder of Irion Books LLC which includes Remodeling Hell, Autograph Hell, Car Dealer Hell and Divorce Hell. In addition, Charles has authored a series of murder mystery novels set against the backdrop of the Seven Summits; they are Murder on Everest, prequel Abandoned on Everest, Murder on Elbrus, Murder on Mt. McKinley, Murder on Puncak Jaya, Murder on Aconcagua, Murder on Vinson Massif and Murder on Kilimanjaro.

A successful investor and businessman, Irion is the founder of U. S. Park Investments, a company that owns and brokers manufactured home and RV communities. In addition, Charles released Roadkill Cooking for Campers - The Best Dang Wild Game Cookbook in the World.