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Friday, 11 May 2012

Don't hate me

I have always been thin. On top of that, over the last few months, my weight has gradually declined, through no real effort on my part. I’ll admit that I do lead a fairly active lifestyle and have never had the inclination to snack. But with an extremely healthy appetite and a weakness for ice creams and cakes, my net calorie intake should still far outweigh (pardon the pun) the energy burned.

Yet, my jeans and skirts are feeling loose around my waist, and the digits on the scales continue to decrease (not by leaps and bounds, mind you). Disappointingly however, my bra size has also dropped. For the scientifically inclined, my BMI tells me I’m underweight, in both the Australian and Asian variations.

If you’re honest, you hate me right now. Don’t lie. I know you do.

Well, you can stop hating me because while I may be thin, I am not healthy. The health risks of being underweight include infertility, osteoporosis and a weakened immune system. And seriously, when you start losing weight without trying, it should be more cause for alarm than celebration.

But you want to know a secret?

While part of me is concerned, there is another side of me that’s kind of pleased. I am, after all, skinny. And at the rate I’m going, I’m probably going to drop down to a size 8 in no time. Imagine how I’ll look in a bikini in summer! In today’s society, it practically means I’m beautiful, right?

What an indictment on society that we have become so blinded by being thin, we forget it poses as much of a danger to our health as being overweight does.

People don’t tell me I’m too skinny (except my mum. But Asian mothers always want their children to look well fed). After not seeing me for a few weeks, they will instead exclaim, “You’ve lost weight!” as if I’ve just returned from successfully reaching the summit of Mount Everest.

As opposed to someone who is overweight, friends will enviously tell me how they wish they had my body shape. It’s not as if they have to furtively avoid the word “fat”, after all.

My current weight loss may be a symptom of something seriously bad, but unlike say, finding a lump in my breast which would send me rushing for a biopsy, I’m actually enjoying how “good” I look.

What an indictment on myself that I would prefer to be underweight, than risk gaining weight and looking “fat”.

As women, we get so caught up with society’s perception of beauty, we sometimes fail to recognise potential pitfalls. We need to start loving and respecting our bodies more, instead of trying to fit into the size zero ideal that Hollywood espouses.

And as for me, don’t worry, I’m making a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.