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The Dream

Just like Mr. Martin Luther King Jr., I too have a dream. It might not seem as grand as his. No one but me and God might know it exists. But it’s there. Deeply rooted in who I am, extending to every fiber of my being. My dream is a beautiful one, but dangerous. For my dream, like all dreams, is not reality. And if I’m not careful, my unfulfilled dream can quickly cause a great deal of trouble.

The dream is me always smiling. I stand in my kitchen watching over my children while we homeschool happily. I am always dressed to perfection, and own a spectacular apron which personifies the glory of homemaking. There are fresh-baked cookies in the oven ready for my family to devour. We get through our lessons with little fuss, anxious to continue exploring. We play games together, cook together, and we are constantly encouraging each other.

The reality is I don’t smile as much as I probably could, or should. While I’m usually with my kiddos, there are some schools days which have us all pulling our hair out. The apron I do own is usually forgotten, and my clothes are evidence of this fact. Lessons aren’t working as planned. Particular subjects are a challenge to the day. We’re all craving cookies, but mom is on a ridiculously tight budget and can’t find five minutes to bake, even if she could find chocolate chips in the cupboard. By the time we’re done schooling, we’re all needing a few moments of space and relaxation.

While I jest, and over-exaggerate just a tad, there is nothing wrong with the dream. We all need something to aspire to. Nor is there anything horrible in our reality. We all have hard days. The danger lies in my inability to separate what I’d like to be from what God calls me to be. God is not asking me to be what anyone else thinks I ought to look like; not even myself. God calls me to be faithful.

There are days I get lost in the dream. This isn’t the life I imagined! Why can’t I seem to be the mom I want to be? Why isn’t our homeschool day as I envisioned? My day is so clouded by my dream, I fail to see the beauty in my reality. No, the day isn’t perfect, but it is mine and it is a joy. If only I would look past what I wanted and see how God has blessed.

I am sure there is a dream in each of us. A dream of what type of parent we want to be; what our marriages would look like; and how our homeschooling year would flow. Our dreams are special, ideals we are reaching towards. But in the struggle to obtain, let us rejoice in the reality in which we live.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.”~ I Timothy 6:6-7

4 thoughts on “The Dream”

It’s so true! What’s the difference between ‘aiming high’ and having unrealistic expectations?? Maybe it’s the fear of not being ‘good enough’. When we face the unknown, we have fear, and we want love instead, so we try to live up to our ideals of perfection, in order to get love, so we try harder, even aiming too high, just to make sure we feel we deserve that love. In our home we try to battle the ‘not good enough’ syndrome, as we call it, by reminding ourselves that we are perfect right here, right now, because we a doing our best, and we remind ourselves that we are always loved by our Maker so therefore can forgive and learn from our mistakes, and have faith that thing swill Be Fine. This can take away the emotional charge, stop the mind games, and allow us to respond more happily and confidently to whatever the current challenge is . . . even if it is something as simple as cooking or cleaning, which can feel like Way Too Much at times. It’s always nice when families share ‘real life’ moments with eachother – not giving up, but not being too hard on ourselves for failing from time to time to feel good about things. There really are blessings hidden in challenges though – I learned to cook and eat well by having a tiny food budget, which has helped my whole family to be healthy. Thanks for posting!

lol, so true! Most days I’m just happy we made it through without any major catastrophes. :-). As far as I’m concerned, as long as stuff gets done, my kids are thriving, and I’m not losing my mind I call it a good day, lol. Thanks for posting!