Thursday, June 17, 2010

I once had a girlfriend who told me, to my surprise, that I am a pessimist. As a happy guy it got me thinking. Why do I strike some people (if it is the case) as a negative person? Why do I have a cynical attitude toward the world? Then I look around, and I see what I have to work with. Then I act accordingly. The world is a terrible place.

That's not strictly accurate. The world is a truly beautiful place. From sunsets to altruism, there are some things in life that can literally render me speechless. The people (most of them) and the deeds they do are ugly, and this ugliness is what we, or rather I, focus on.

But for all the sh*t piling up over the last few years, I think it makes love, and sex by proxy, that much more important. If you have a relationship, a significant other, go that extra mile for them. Tell her you love her, let him know how much he means to you. Hell, even if you can't stand them because all the annoying habits they have are piling up, or you had an argument, just be the bigger person, or apologise. The world is full of divorce and break ups, it's become too easy to just walk away. The world wants you dead, or miserable at the very least; don't burn your bridges with the person who doesn't.

That's not to say being single sucks - being single rocks. Try acting even half as debaucherous in a relationship as when you're single and let me know how that goes. You can go out all night - literally! - and sleep in as long as you want. You can drink until you puke, pass out, or puke and pass out. You don't have to eat bread made out of birdseed if you don't want to, because now you're buying the bread. Stop me when you've heard enough, couples. The grass may seem greener on the other side of the fence, but it's just a trick of the light. Trust me. Appreciate what you have.

By The Way: Fans of Into the Wild should check out One Week, an indie film about travelling across Canada. Joshua Jackson (that guy from Dawson's Creek that slept with the teacher) plays an english teacher diagnosed with an agressive cancer, and has his apparent mid life crisis early, while finding out about himself. There's a certain hockey related scene that made me realise how much I love this fine country. Check it out.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Let me first apologise for the appalling way in which my people have treated you. What humanity as a whole has done (rape you) will likely never be erased, removed, or otherwise negated. (That oil leak alone is worth a few years in the shit for somebody.) If you ask me, if I were in your position, I'd be taking it out on the worst offenders (which is pretty much everyone save a few pockets of eco-aware civilisation.) So again, sorry. I got your back, babe.

I'll admit it took me until fairly late in my "childhood" to fall in love with you. I mean, sure, I always appreciated you and your greenness and fresh air. But not until I uprooted back to the motherland (albeit on the other side) did I fully come to realise your power and seduction. Hurtling down a hill on something slippery in the cold will remain one of my favourite things to do for the rest of my days, or at least the rest of my body's days. I love and respect you, so please take the following with that in mind.

Cut the crap.

Seriously, over 3 weeks of rain, with one or two sunny days to keep us mildly amused while we drink in the sun, is no way to keep me happy. I get it; you're in charge. I never disputed that. I don't even piss outside; it's slovenly and disrespectful. But come on. It's friggin' June.

Now I know that technically you still have about 2 weeks before summer officially begins, but let's be honest here. It's Canada; we're gonna be getting EXACTLY the same weather in October, and that rain does me no good if it's too warm to be snowing at the top. Save some for the fall.

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About The Author

Get more Aaron in your life by going to http://www.facebook.com/aaron.peart AND you can find him on Twitter as @aaronpeart (surprisingly)...
Born on a pirate ship, Aaron has published absolutely nothing. His degree was not wasted; rather, it became more irrelevant than he expected it to. He lives in Whistler, British Columbia, and snowboards on a regular basis (assuming the weather has co-operated). He eats far more toast than is probably healthy.