11.17.2005

High society

In my living room, I'm basking in the aftertaste of Ketel One vodka and McDonald's buffalo sauce as I sit in my finest (read: only) suit watching the tail end of Alias.

What could possibily lead up to this? How about a holiday party at Barmakian Jewelers, where I'm apparently a VIP (sure, I spent more money there last year than Santa Claus spent at FAO Schwartz, but I was still surprised to get three VIP invitations)? The little lady and I got a little taste of high society, Framingham-style, sipping martinis and tasting delicious (read: free) hors d'ouevres while passing by jewelry in mock interest and scantilly clad models in mock disinterest. On the way home, we swung by McDonald's for a Big Mac and some Chicken Selects, the perfect nightcap with a little Spicy Buffalo.

How could the night get better than free martinis and hors d'ouevres? Try a shot of codeine-laced Robitussin, my goodie bag from yesterday's trip to Longwood, where I was diagnosed with bronchitis and pharyngitis, both viral and uncurable. Everything's coming up Brain.

11.12.2005

The Great White Hoax

To those of you who couldn't tell, the top 50 albums list I posted here earlier this week was a joke. Our annual albums list has seen a rift develop between those who occasionally listen to music recorded by black artists and those who listen to Genesis, so Mark and I decided to take it to another level and post lists on the same day including no more than four albums by white males. A real preview of my top 50 (with no fewer than 32 albums by white males) follows:

11.01.2005

Halloween

Things I'm less likely to do this weekend than last weekend:

-dress as a giant peapod with eyes stuck to my shirt-pose repeatedly behind Jill with two giant peas pinned to her matching shirt-attend party at previous residence wearing one of said peas with black eye-discuss merits of Stevie Wonder albums and intergender cohabitation with Kervin-watch party guests drink from human box of wine-help Jill replace all basement lights with blacklights in preparation of Haunted House-attend Jill's 7th annual Halloween party at Linda's-pretend to be caught in human bug zapper-laugh at a Waist of Time, a deviled egg, and two much more professional iPods-repeatedly emerge from hidden room in my basement wearing mask and scaring innocent partygoers-sweep one game of flipcup and protest aborted second game after blowing incident-drink 12-15 shots of Jagermeister, Peppermint schnapps, Blackhaus, and Sambuca from an ice luge-serve 12-15 shots of various liqueurs down said luge, several while shoeless-find relief in the fact that said shots didn't damage me as much as they damaged the bug zapper-sleep 4 hours in a 25-hour day-try to finish second keg during Patriots win on Sunday night-a few things I won't share in this space