So you want to be in a rock band?: Rock ní Roll 101

Another year has passed, and though Iím only a little bit older, Iím a lot more experienced. Much has happened, some for the better, some for the worst, but either way, Iím here to share my experiences with you, so that you will be granted adequate and realistic knowledge regarding whether or not the pursuit of the ďrockstarĒ dream is truly what it seems.

For those of you just joining me, Iím sure youíre curious as to what makes me an expert? Well, as could be expected, I was once just like you: A dreamer who wanted nothing more in the world than to rock the masses as my day job. Though in theory, it sounds monumental and insurmountable to say the least. Let me tell you this:

1) There are no get-rich quick schemes in this industry2) The only person you can put faith in is yourself, and finally,3) Everything you think you know about the music biz, whether you were taught in school or you picked it up from some MuchMusic program, is either complete and utter bullshit, or youíve simply become the victim, like myself, of wanting a dream so passionately that you have been blinded by your own naivety.

So, back to the part about what makes me an expert?

To get it out of the way, let me first explain that I would never claim to know all that there is to know, but I do feel that my personal experiences, both successes, and failures have provided me with concrete knowledge that I would like to offer you. Obviously, no two cases are alike, and there will always be exceptions to the rule, but, if I do know anything (which I hope I do), itís this: I wish to God that someone wouldíve given me the honest truth when I was started out, like what Iím doing for you.

So am I a philanthropist, a martyr, or is there something in this for me? Why am I offering such priceless knowledge free of charge? Well, what it comes down to is thisÖAll Iíve ever wanted was to change the world in what little way that I could. Through my art, my music, offer some kind of hope, comfort, or inspiration to those in need, like my favourite musicians have done for me. While I realize that some of you may love me, others (likely more of you) will hate me, as long as I can help at least one of you with what I have to say, Iíll know that I was a successful artist at the end of it all. If not for art, then what for?

So, if youíre intrigued to read on, youíll learn quickly that Iíve been a performing musician since the age of four, I wrote my first song at seven, Iíve fronted two successful bands with label interest, toured extensively across North America, started my own record label at 15, and did I mention I did this all on my own?

I scratched and fought my way to the top against every feat you can imagine from inner-band quarrels to financial ruin to emotional despair to sexism. All of this I tell you so that you will understand two things: Iím quite serious in what I have to offer, and Iím not just some unqualified wannabe piddling out dribble who has nothing better to do than bitch and complain about the unfairness in the world. Iíve held every role in the industry from talent to publicist to booker to legal advisor. So, if YOU wanna be in a rock band, keep reading, you may just learn something.

Interrobang

The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd in London, Ontario and distributed throughout the Fanshawe College community.