Sunday, January 11, 2009

Surprisingly, Jar-Jar Binks WASN'T the worst idea ever to come out of the Star Wars enterprise

First things first. For anyone who actually was interested in seeing the uncharacteristically on-time baby gift I referenced in that last post, here it is. See? Little elephants! Tell me that isn't downright adorable. Equally adorable are the tiny album cover t's I made with iron-on transfer paper and admittedly probably illegally lifted copyright-protected images. (In my defense, I am not selling these onesies, so if you ask me, the infringement is permissible. I am also not a lawyer, however, so maybe asking me means nothing.) While I am pimping my mad skillz, would you like to see the cake I made for that baby shower as well? You would? Excellent. Here you go. The recipe was courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa, via The Pioneer Woman, who as I've mentioned before has yet to let me down. Six-plus sticks of butter and two pounds of cream cheese? All in the same recipe? Don't ask questions, friends; just enjoy. My doctor did tell me to get more dairy, after all. She wasn't particularly specific about the ways I should comply.

Moving along here, as it is already ten minutes past my bedtime, despite the fact that as usual I have no idea what exactly happened to this day. On the plus side, it will take me virtually no time to get ready for bed this evening, as I never actually got out of my pajamas nor left the house today. I refuse to believe that is sad or lazy. On the contrary, I'm sure Allie would help me spin it as an eco-friendly way to spend my Sunday. No wasted water on a shower I don't need! No extra laundry created by needlessly changing my clothes! And no carbon emitted from a car I didn't drive! See? Al Gore and Allie would be happy with me today! I'm not lazy; I'm saving the planet, yo.

That said, what did I actually do today? Well, I put away my tiny Christmas tree, as well as the Christmas wrapping paper I'd left sitting in front of my couch for the past... Wait. How many weeks has it been since Christmas? Well, for the past however many weeks that is. I also finally vacuumed up the sidewalk salt that my friends inadvertently dragged into my house the blizzardy night of my Christmas party. Which was December 20. I am all about the prompt post-party cleanup, obviously. Oh, and I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special, which a friend of mine decided to inflict upon me at said party and yet which I hadn't popped into my DVD player since then. Rather, I should say I watched merely the first half hour or so of the Star Wars Holiday Special, because even with the Mystery Science Theater guys' clever commentary on this long-forgotten gem of 1970s television magic, I couldn't handle much more of it than that. When I finally shut off the disc and got off my couch, my next move was to send a message to the friend who'd given me the disc, claiming that I wanted that half hour of my life back. Admittedly, though, if I did get that time back, I would only squander it on something equally pointless. You know, like detailing for the Internets exactly what I did all day. I really wish I had something more exciting to tell you. Hmm. Maybe if I had left the house today.

Oh! Also, I managed to free up 3GB of space on my stuffed-to-capacity ancient desktop, meaning that when I clicked the Start button a few moments ago to open another application, it took only nine seconds for the Programs menu to display, rather than the usual minute and a half. I've decided, by the way, that it's completely OK if Flurrious doesn't get Toyota to give us all a free Prius. I'd settle for a brand new laptop and be more than happy.

Let's see. What else? I haven't regaled you with any dating stories in a while, I realize. Fact is, I'm too beaten down and depressed by that whole process yet again to even log in to Catch dot Mom lately. I did get a message today from a match who told me he thinks I'm "specs-tacular," and with a line like that, surely he's... actually, I don't know what a line like that might indicate. Perhaps you guys can offer some insight.

And with that, I'll end this random rambling and finally get myself off to bed. While I have you here, though, did you wish Noelle a happy belated birthday yet? Pop on over and do that, OK?

You have been quite the domestic goddess lately, it seems. I was briefly horrified by the mention of two pounds of cream cheese before realizing that I adore cream cheese, so it's totally worth it.

I didn't leave the house or get out of my pajamas yesterday either! If global warming is suddenly stopped in its tracks, we should really set up some sort of gift registry so people can start sending us things out of gratitude.

You have mad quilting and baking skills! Ever since I read your frosting status update I've been PINING for carrot cake. We tried to find some yesterday but Salt Lake City pretty much closes down on Sunday...BOO! Maybe I'll get that carrot cake today?

Steve--The rest of the email didn't say a whole lot. And I never said we should scrap Flurrious's plan! I'm just adding another potential sponsor to the mix!

Anonymous--There isn't an "Ignore" button, but there is a "No thanks" or a "Not interested" button. I think to ignore, you simply, well, ignore. :-)

3Cs--Yeah, it was maybe a bold move. That line could go either way, I guess.

Monkey--ROUNDLY impressed! I'm going to use that. Alas, I'm just round. (It's probably all the butter and cream cheese.)

Jess--Well, in the interest of full disclosure, my tree is two feet tall and pre-decorated. Putting it away means unplugging it, carrying it upstairs, and putting the plastic bag back over it. Still! Mission accomplished! Hee.

Liz--True. I have to remember what we're dealing with here. And you went to the office in your pajamas? Bravo, I think.

Mel--I am impressed with your skills as well. I've seen some of your projects, too, and you do lots of stuff I never attempt.

Courtney--Now, bear in mind, that's two pounds for the whole cake, and there was a layer of frosting in the middle as well. Also, I have a good deal of frosting left over. Yesterday morning I had shredded wheat scooped in cream cheese frosting. Breakfast of champions! (I really ought to throw the rest away before I'm tempted to do that again.)

Miss Pants--I know this is a radical idea, but... you do know you can MAKE carrot cake, right? (Sorry; sorry. You're right; forget I mentioned that.) Hope you got your fix today!

Alice--Ha. And I need to be YOUR friend and start getting invited to dinner at your mom's house! (It's a win-win!)