Monthly Archives: April 2015

As some of you may or may not know, I am from Dublin, Ireland. On the 22nd of May 2015 there is going to be a referendum to legalise Gay Marriage. I am 110% all for it. I am a straight 22 year old man, and I am a firm believer of “do whatever makes you happy”. I don’t judge anybody on what makes them happy, and neither should anybody else. People are born the way they are.. white,black,rich,poor, gay, straight, bi, etc there are no choices. To the people that are against gay marriage I think you should put yourselves in their shoes. You have been lucky enough to have the right to get married to the person you love simply because of the way you were born, how would you feel if people were voting against your happiness because you were born a different way?.

The ‘Vote No’ campaign in my opinion is ridiculous. I know that everybody is entitled to their opinion but when their argument is that a child needs both a mother AND father to be brought up right its just offensive and wrong. Many, many people grow up with just one parent. Whether it is the mother OR the father looking after the children there is nothing to say that those children will not grow up to be healthy and happy individuals. Its a very difficult task being a single parent because you must take on both roles and if I were a single parent in this country I would find their argument very hurtful. There is also a ‘fear’ that gay parents will bring up gay children which is completely untrue. The child will be who they are. I am sure the straightest of parents have had the experience of their son or daughter ‘coming out’ and that event has nothing to do with how they were brought up or who their parents are. It’s in their DNA and it cannot be changed.

I firmly believe that if gay parents were to adopt they would be fantastic parents. Unfortunately, many kids are not ‘planned’ by couples and it just sort of happens. When people are adopting they put in so much thought, preparation and planning because it is what they really want to do and in most cases it is the only thing they can do. Because of this I believe that they would love the child on par with any ‘normal’ parent and in some cases, a lot more. To put it bluntly, I was a mistake in my family and I felt/feel like I was never wanted and my parents were not ready to have me and give me what I needed and it’s left me with a lot of issues. My parents were allowed get married and get pregnant when they really shouldn’t have been, and its the same story for a lot of broken families. So the argument that a child needs a mother and father is bullshit. The child needs at least ONE person that loves them and that’s it. If the child is loved which I believe every gay couple will provide then they will be perfectly fine.

Everybody deserves the right to happiness and to be with the person they love, and if they want to create a loving family that should be their right too. Nobody should take that away from anybody.

I hope whoever’s reading this agrees with me and in 4 weeks time we will know if the Irish people made the right decision or not. #VoteYes

I’ve thought about this a lot the last while. When I was younger and I’d hear of murder victims families forgiving the attacker and praying for them I used to be so confused. Why the hell would you pray for someone like that and more importantly HOW could you forgive someone that hurt you that much? But now I think I finally understand. I’m not saying I’d ever forgive someone for murder, not a hope in hell, but I do understand the sentiment and I agree with it. I think you need to forgive to move on, or at least try. The bible says that we should forgive each other because none of us are without sin, and if we want to be forgiven by God we must forgive others. I’m not overly holy but I do agree with that. I believe it is the first step to being happy again, and completely moving on.

It’s an extremely hard thing to do but I think it tells a lot about someone’s heart if they are willing to forgive someone that’s hurt them. I’m not saying that you should forgive AND forget or that they deserve a 2nd, 3rd, or 100th chance and you should not forgive them every time and let them walk all over you, but forgive them for what they have done and move on. There’s many reasons why forgiveness is the answer and here’s my few, if someone has done something terrible to you they did it for a reason, they obviously don’t care for you and now at least you know. They have to live with what they did and that’s their problem not yours. They made the choice to hurt you and if that’s the kind of person they are and continue to be then holding a grudge won’t do anything except hold you back. Forgive them because they clearly have way more issues than you’ll ever have.

Whether it’s happened recently or ten years ago the pain can remain the same. In order for your own peace of mind, and a happy heart, you need to tell them that you forgive them. You may not mean it 100% and maybe you never will but it’s a step in the right direction. If you accept what they did and try get your head around it and basically say well I’ll never let that happen again but they did do that for a reason and I’ll forgive them because I am above what happened then you are on the way to moving past it. You don’t want to be held back in any part of your life because of what someone’s done to you, learn from it and try your very best move on. It’s a test of how strong your character is so show them how strong you are, and you’ll never be hurt like that again.

To be honest as I write this I have to admit I’m currently struggling myself with this concept but I’m trying my best. Things have happened in my family that I don’t think can ever be forgiven..no matter how hard I try. They’ve affected me in a really negative way and it’s too hard to forgive because if none of it ever happened my life would be so different and the fact that it could have been avoided hurts me the most. So I do know that it can be impossible to let SOME things go in case you’re reading this thinking this is bullshit. I forgive in relationships because I crave love. I’ve forgiven someone who hurt me really bad because by doing what she did I realised she wasn’t the right girl for me and I didn’t want to bring any of that extra baggage into my new relationship. I can now move on and be happy in love 😊❤️ Now my heart can be filled completely by her and not broken by people that have hurt me and that’s all anyone wants.

So finally, I do believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness but do not let people take advantage of you and abuse your kindness. God says it is the right thing to do and I agree. Yes, I do think that some things are unforgivable and I’m sure you’d agree from even just watching the news, but you know yourself what is and what’s not. Believe me, you will feel a weight off your shoulders when you realise that you need to let that grudge go and take the first step..it may take awhile for it to come full circle but by then you will have moved on and are hopefully much happier. There also might come a time in your life when you find yourself begging for someone’s forgiveness (you never know) and I’m sure you’ll be wishing they were as kind as you. Everybody makes mistakes!

If I had of known you’d leave me feeling this shit when I reconnected with you last year I would have avoided you and stayed happy.

If I had of known that you were lying about everything you “felt” and everything you “wanted” just to hurt me as much as possible..and to get me back for the mistakes that I made I would have never trusted a word you said.

If I had of known you would make me more depressed than happy.. I would have never have talked to you in the first place.

If I had of known you’d make me fall in love with you to use it against me I would have kept my guard up.

If I had of known you’d manipulate me into feeling sorry for you even though it was you that was hurting me I wouldn’t of given you the opportunity.

If I had of known you’d put me down instead of appreciating who I am, then I would have found someone who actually did like me for me.

If I had of known you’d be out there in the world with everything I told you with no connection between us I would have never opened up to you.

If I had of known you’d use me when you wanted me and get rid of me when you didn’t I would have ran a mile in the opposite direction from the beginning.

If I had of known you’d abuse my trust, my love and the limited intelligence I have and use it to betray me in the worst way possible I would have ignored you when you struck up the first conversation.

If I had of known you’d leave me with only painful memories and a bad taste in my mouth I would have never wasted my time thinking about a future with you.

If I had of been told that down the line you’d break up my family I wouldn’t of believed it.

If I had of known you’d threaten me and show no remorse for hurting me on any occasion I would have never have fallen in love with you.

If I had of known you’d be the one to change me and make me heartless and cold I’d have stayed well away from you.

If I had of known that down the line you’d turn out to be the opposite of everything I thought you were you would have never have been a part of my life.

If I had of known what MY mistakes would do to you and the hurt I would cause you in the past, I would buy the first time machine ever made and undo all of them because I am 100% still genuinely sorry for my actions and I know I can never make up for them.

If I had ONE wish.. It wouldn’t be to get you back and make you feel the way I do, my wish would be to be put back into the position I was in before I ever knew you where nothing between us EVER happened.. and it never ended up like this.