We bought our first home 10 years ago, a 95-year-old weatherboard renovator's delight in inner-city Melbourne. From day one, my husband, Simon, and I dreamed of knocking off the dark, rickety little lean-to at the back, which housed the ancient kitchen and bathroom, and building something big and light and spacious.

The first baby came, and then the second. We cooked, ate, laughed, fought, bathed and raised children for 10 years in that shanty-town lean-to.

We had dinners in a space so small you climbed over laps to get out; so close to the bathroom you could sit on the toilet without leaving the conversation.

Renovation nightmares... the author and family camping out

Over the years, tiles dropped off walls, lino curled up from the floor, doors fell off cupboards and grout curled away from windows, leaving glass panes that wobbled like loose teeth.

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The tongue-and-groove lining boards shrank, leaving small gaps through which fell a fine black powder, probably the remains of fossilised rats and their droppings.

It was unbearable. It was time to renovate.

Red and Ewen prepare dinner.

We found a builder and then had to decide: should we live elsewhere for the predicted three months, or stay and endure without a bathroom or a kitchen?

Anyone who's faced this knows what a lose-lose choice it is - either pack up and move house twice, paying thousands in rent (if you can find a short-term lease in your area), or live with daily construction noise, loss of privacy and no running water.

As a writer, I love the study where I work and the familiar sounds of home - the school bells, the fruitbats, the trains. I love being able to walk to the local shops, to my elder son's school and my younger son's kindy. Living elsewhere would involve more city driving, which I hate.

The laundry.

My husband, a geologist who has done his share of camping, felt I was underestimating how hard it would be to rough it for three months.

Whatever we did, our lives would continue to be as full and busy as ever - his work, my writing, my uni teaching, the care of our boys, multiple commitments, responsibilities and joys, to say nothing of all the decisions and expenditures of a renovation. Do you really want to add living without a kitchen and a bathroom to that?

Our other complication was time. The builder said he could start this estimated three-month job exactly three months before Christmas, so any delay would see us stranded for an extra month over the tools-down holiday period. But our builder reckoned he could do it, and despite all the horror stories I'd heard, I wanted to believe.

Red and friend out back.

We asked the kids: move out or stay? At five, Red thought it would be cool to watch the demolition and building. Had he been any younger, I wouldn't have contemplated it - a toddler in those conditions would have tipped me right over the edge.

Nine-year-old Ewen had moved house twice before when we lived briefly in Western Australia, and, like me, he did not want to repeat the experience.

My husband and I knew the stress renovation could put on a marriage. We had seen the half-finished houses for sale in our area, heard the whispered stories of family breakup behind them.

Simon in the hall/kitchen.

We knew that if we finished the extension but hated each other, it would not be worth it. We vowed to tread carefully, to back down from arguments, to compromise.

So we chose to stay, and began to prepare. The plan was for the builders to knock off the back half of the house - the kitchen, bathroom and a deck that held an outdoor laundry.

This would leave the front of the house free to live in during building - four rooms in a square, intersected by a hall. These rooms included the boys' shared bedroom, our bedroom, a study and a lounge room, with a small and open front porch.

With the hall door closed and taped up after the back was demolished, our remaining bit of house could be completely sealed from construction, with our only access to the world via the front door.

We filled the hall with kitchen gear - a narrow cupboard, a microwave, the fridge. Our running water would come from the front garden tap.

A table and chairs, washing machine and gas camping stove were squeezed onto the porch, looking quite inviting. A Portaloo was delivered by crane into our tiny front yard. This would be a life lived almost on the footpath.

The first fortnight brought a blaze of glorious spring sun and we found living on the front porch held unexpected pleasures of community. We talked to our neighbours more than we had in years, and passing school parents stopped to chat while I cooked dinner or folded washing.

I began to feel optimistic; this would be okay. Not easy, but okay. And then, the rain began.

It was cartoon rain, endless days and then weeks of it pounding on us. With the lean-to now demolished, the freshly exposed back wall leaked and the power shorted.

Without running hot water to wash dishes and hands, one by one we fell sick with gastro. Driven back off the porch, our four rooms felt tiny and visits to the Portaloo involved gumboots and an umbrella. It was nightmarish, and it became an utter challenge to get ourselves and the children presentable.

When the weather came good we returned to outdoor life, joining about 4000 newly arrived mosquitoes on our front porch. About this time the neighbours on both sides, having silently tolerated a street full of tradies' cars, clouds of dirt from the demolition and the acrid smell from our Portaloo, finally complained in unison about the noise.

A baby and a shift worker were being disturbed in their daytime sleeps; could the builders be quieter and take longer lunch breaks? By this time I felt desperate for it to end and wished only that the builders would work relentlessly, 24/7. The builders wisely ignored us all and got on with building at their own speed.

We always knew the lack of a shower was the weak point in the whole plan. Friends had offered theirs; we had showers at the local pool and at our workplaces. I washed in a bucket.

But, oh, I missed that early-morning hot blast to wake up, and I felt grubby and sweaty for much of the time. Clothes on unwashed people get smelly quickly, and we did not need extra laundry - not when hanging washing meant carrying each load on an odyssey through a crowded building site. The kids joyously went for weeks at a time without baths.

Sticky, cramped and tired, fed up with microwave meals and washing dishes in a bucket, and now facing the pressured lead-up to Christmas, with all its kindy concerts, work deadlines and present-buying, my husband and I argued more often.

Wherever we could, we asked the builder to choose. There were the daily 7am conferences, often with one of us (not the builder) in pyjamas. The extension was looking more real, but there was still so much to do it seemed impossible they could finish by Christmas. Despairing, I started looking up apartments for short-term rental.

Then, suddenly, only a couple of days before Christmas, after one hard-to-get tiler had finished and the sanding of floors had begun, we realised they would make it. The house was crawling with tradesmen up until Christmas Eve, but all at once they said goodbye and left - not before I'd tearfully flung myself at our builder's feet and sworn my lifelong gratitude.

On Christmas morning, three months after we had closed and taped up the back hallway door, we reopened it onto a brand-new half-house.

We walked across gleaming floors, we filled a bath with steaming hot water, we turned stove knobs and watched flames spring up and down. Kids wheeled around the bounteous, light-filled space like seagulls and, weak with relief, we made the first cups of tea.

Was it right to stay, in hindsight? Who knows, though I reckon I've only got one stint like that in me. Like childbirth, it was a painful journey for a worthwhile result, but I think I can safely say this: never again.

From Sunday Life magazine

24 comments so far

I have vivid memories of my parents renovating their 100 year old weatherboard joke in Mascot basically from the ground up. For instance, our large bird aviary became the toilet (yes in winter this wasn't desirable), the kitchen was in the garage. Sleeping was on fold out camping beds (for 2 full years). As dad was replastering the place too we slept under the galvanized roof with all rafters exposed. For a 10 yo, this was a bit scary at night at first. To add to the chaos we had a dog that gave birth to puppies twice over the term of the renovations.

Was it worth it? Well of course it was because we got everything we wanted in a location that was very central to everything. Would I recommend staying as you renovate? Because of my experience back then I'm reluctant to undertake such a renovation while living on the premises. It's tough going so the answer here depends on whether you can afford to move for the duration of the renovation.

Commenter

Tutsmahbarreh

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 3:28AM

Well one thing is for sure - women can't cope with renovations!! It doesn't take long but those minor irritatioins prey on their minds and they become anxious. Add to that any bad weather or builder hold-ups and they become positively depressive.

Guys on the other hand focus more on the achievement and ignore (or are blind to) the irritations.

That is why there is so much marital stress over renovations.

Something to consider when doing renovations .....

Commenter

Jameso

Location

Sydney

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 9:07AM

Well done Fran and Fam. After living through a similar situation for the last 8 months and have only a few painters to trip over for the next week before all finished, I fully appreciate your sacrifice. I am glad we did it, but would not consider ever doing it again.

Commenter

GeoPete

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 9:11AM

My wife and I have just fininshed our third complete house renovation, first in Australia. Our first two, living in was hard particularly the second home a lovely cottage in the English countryside. Both of us plus one cat lived in a single bedroom with no kitchen for just over 12 months. Taking 5 years to renovate in the original style we were rewarded with a beautiful house in a great location and when we sold we made a hefty profit.

Our house in Australia we bought for location, the house itself had been repaired and updated by keen amateurs and was a mess, no insulation 70's style- unlivable in the summer heat and freezing cold in the winter. It did have one advantage, it is based on three levels. Renovating each level and moving in after the work was done made things easier until we came to the middle level. Now this is a big house and our goal was to modernise completely so when I say all that was left was the wall frame work I am not joking.

Now we live in a beautiful modern building which is warm in the winter and cool in the summer, miniscule electricity bills and every part of the building is a pleasure to live in. Will we make any money? because I did most of the work myself with some help from a few tradies possibly.

What have I learnt and what can I pass on? If you are going to renovate a complete house and have no or poor DIY skills, and you cringe at the thought of painting and decorating, think again.

If you have kids - send them to boarding school and send the wife on holiday for a month at least!

Commenter

Ian

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 9:30AM

we replaced the kitchen and bathroom in our 80 year old cottage 11 years ago while our first child was a toddler. When we pulled up the ancient lino it became obvious that the floorboards joists and even the bearers (structural timbers) were rotted from too many overflowing baths, this meant a hole in the floor that closely resembled a mine shaft. over the following 2 weeks, while we waited for new hardwood to arrive, it became apparent that we had a rodent problem We came out one day to our makeshift kitchen to find half of the fruit bowl contents gone and little muddy footprints leadind into the "mineshaft" on top of this we had 2 weeks of minus 5-10 degree mornings, an electrical fire, building material delays and a growing budget deficit. Would I do it again?......yes, probably, I think the difficulties only added to the appreciation of the end result.

Commenter

countryken

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 10:06AM

As an architect, and also someone who lived through a fairly long renovation (6 months) as a Senior school student, I have to heartily, heartily, forcefully, strongly advise that anyone thinking of doing this.... don't.

It will wear you down like nothing else in life, and there is no escape, no rest, and no break from the mess and stress of the situation.

Many builders don't like working with someone watching them like a hawk 99% of the time and they get frustrated, do a weaker job than they otherwise would, and also have to deal with the difficulty of having you on-site most of the time to work around, let alone satisfy. A builder works best when they are not nitpicked at every day, as a lot of their job is messy, and doesn't look good until near the end - it is a rough science.

Do not do it, no matter how much money you think you can save. It will really test your relationships with whoever you are living with, as well as the builder, and even rollover into seemingly uninvolved other parts of your life such as work and social relations.

Consider yourself warned!!

Commenter

Thiefsie

Location

South Yarra

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 10:19AM

The reason most people stay in the home they are renovating is because they don't have any money to rent elsewhere. It's not a choice, you ignoramuses!!For God's sake, can someone acknowledge that?!

Commenter

renovator

Location

Melbourne

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 11:21AM

We're currently in the middle of our reno. Similiarities with Fran's story...knocking down the back end, rearranging rooms and a deck. What is worse, I am the owner-builder (the only way we could afford the reno really). We've been lucky to some extent...we've been able to move out for about a month, staying with 3 lots of friends (one empty apartment as they went OS). This is just as stressful. New house, living with one set of keys, tip-toeing around your friends home/family/routine,. Driving backwards and forwards to the reno house, as well as daycare and preschool. So, it is SOOOO true that its a lose-lose dilemma. We have a plan to move back in in about 2 weeks, but with another 6 weeks of work to go..... My wife and I are still smiling at each other, but its not easy.... The kids are fine (2 of them, 2 and 5yrs old). We're currently all camping in one bedroom with a mate in Surry Hills. Love my friends and we are already planning the "thankyou!!!!" dinner when all has been completed.

Commenter

OMG

Location

Sydney

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 11:45AM

BTW...IF you are planning something like this, try to go the House Minding route. Free accommodation for people wanting someone in their house whilst they are away (usually going OS, and usually a pet to look after). A strategy that we only thought of a the last minute and haven't been able to use (as they require a booking well in advance).

Commenter

OMG

Location

Sydney

Date and time

May 12, 2011, 11:48AM

We're about to ignore the advice and do it... Our project is very similar to Fran's: demolish an old lean-to (which contains all the existing wet areas) and live in two of the four large existing rooms (the front two). These will be sheeted off at the hallway - all the work will be done at the back of the house and away from the living areas. Other differences are: We will have the rear two rooms renovated first and one will become a bathroom â we can then move the plastic sheet further back down the hall and live in these rooms also for the rest of the project; We will hire a portable container/room to be dropped into the front yard â this will contain a hot water service, small kitchen and bathroom + I am pretty handy and will have it plumbed into the gas and sewer which are right next to it. I will also build a makeshift sheltered walkway between it and the front porch. I estimate the container hire at about $200 per week and we live in a quiet street, a good area with nice neighbors. Any comments appreciated!