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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

What Do You Do When You Can't Do Anything?

I face that question on a regular basis and it is infuriating. You know the character, Candace, from the Disney's Phineas and Ferb? I'm exactly like her. A buster that can't seem to bust anyone and as a result, let's everything get to her.
The reality is, things never seem to be bad enough to take action. And somehow, that's neither good nor bad. It's just middle ground sucky.
For example, let's talk about spanking. In my family, we don't spank our children. I grew up with spanking, but wasn't ever really spanked. I think one time, maybe. We don't do it, because my husband and I don't like hitting our kids. We don't want our kids to be scared of us, physically. I have seen other parents raise their hands to spank and their children cower. It didn't use to phase me, until I really watched the little child's face before getting a spank. The kid's expression broke me heart. I just can't do it.
Spanking in California is not illegal and it probably never will be. I don't have a problem with other people spanking their kids, but as a stepmom who has to share--I'd have a big problem if* someone was spanking my kids. A big problem I wouldn't be able to do anything about, because when it's not our house and our time--it's not our rules. A spank is not the same as abuse, regardless of what I think. If you don't leave a mark, everything is fine and dandy.
However, I can be sweet, kind and fair. I can be gentle. I can control what goes on in my home and hope that is enough for my kids to know that someone here is looking out for them. Someone here is their advocate. And even though it's not enough, it's all I can do.

Also, just because I don't spank my kids doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor. This is freaking hilarious.