Hello friends! I'm just popping in to tell you that, for the month of December... I'll only be popping in every once in a while. I've got some posts scheduled to review our year of Housewife MacGyver -- and add some new things I've found throughout the year! -- and a couple of places I'll be guesting, but other than that, I have very little planned blog-wise.

Why?

Because I'm going to take a few weeks to enjoy life and the holiday and my family, to try to practice what I (along with my fantastic guests) have been preaching all year -- becoming self-reliant and managing resources. Managing my life and my very important jobs as a wife and mother and all-around good person.

I've been taking baby steps all year long (and I hope you have been, too), but since having my baby girl in August, I have been less and less effective at keeping up. Now that she's 3 months old (can you believe it?), my personally allotted "grace" period is over and I'm working on getting my life back to the semi-chaos I love instead of the complete chaos that drives every member of my household a little crazy.

One big step for me in moving toward less chaos is (drum roll please...) spending less time online. I love all the goodies and deals and friends I find online, but I have developed a tendency to spend waaaay too much time online. So, for December, I'm cutting waaaay back on my online time -- mostly my surfing time. I'll still do my very best to come by and visit your blogs, friends! And I'll be back in moderation in January for certain, because I love my blogging friends too much to leave forever. :)

Yesterday I had a mini Housewife MacGyver moment. And it felt fantastic! I was up early enough that I got in a 3 mile run before my husband left for work. I watched a friend's little girl while she attended the temple. I had dinner planned and started early enough in the day that I was able to make a double batch to take to a friend who has been struggling. And in between, I played with my son and laughed with my daughter and read books and, yes, has some online time (I'm going for moderation, not completely hiding under a rock :)

As I went to bed last night, I felt so amazing about my day, and myself. Yes, there were still dirty dishes in my sink and toys scattered around and laundry to be folded. But, for the first time in a long while, I felt fulfilled. I felt happy about what I had done that day and ready to take on another day and give it my all, not frustrated with the state of my life.

So, for the month of December, I'm aiming for more days like yesterday (but including some crafting, too :). Today has been pretty good so far. But while my children are sleeping, my to-do list is calling to me, and I'm going to answer it before I give in to my gut reaction and tell it to be quiet and let me pin some more.

Happy December :)

(pssst... you can also hop on over to Housewife Eclectic today to see how I'll be changing my regular Wednesdays on the Web posts there in the coming year)

If you want oohs and aahs over your cards, I highly recommend Shutterfly's Christmas and holiday cards and greeting cards. I ordered my Christmas cards from Shutterfly last year and I was completely impressed and totally thrilled with them. The quality is amazing: all of their cards are printed on high-quality cardstock or photo paper (depending on the design you choose) and their print quality is impeccable-- worth every penny!

I procrastinated last year (who, me?) and even though I didn't order my cards until the 17th (yes, of December...), I still had my cards on my doorstep in time to [quickly] address and send them off again to arrive by Christmas Day for most of our friends and family.

I am kind of a design snob -- I like my cards to look great and professional and NOT just like everyone else's -- so I love that Shutterfly has oodles of designs to choose from:

Shutterfly's online card creator is fast and SO easy to use. Just pick your favorite family photo(s) and get to work. You can browse all of their designs or narrow your search by style, card size/format, the number of photos on the card, and price.

For the photos that you want to keep in view year-round, Shutterfly has a great selection of photo gifts and photo calendars (great for grandparent gifts). My husband ordered a puzzle of our most recent family photo for my birthday back in October, and it was so fun to put together our faces! I think every family has a puzzle lover, so imagine his/her delight to have a self-puzzle to put together Christmas morning :)

So, when you're ready to send your greetings this year, check out Shutterfly. In under an hour, you can have the prettiest holiday cards on the block. The biggest challenge is choosing just one of their drool-worthy cards... right now, I'm stuck between this one:

My dear friend Heather is back again today to share another dose of her real-world love and wisdom. Give her a warm welcome back...

In today's world, when we become dissastified or frustrated or bored with our lives, it is exceptionally easy to create a false reality to live in or someone elses to covet. Social networks, blogs, text messaging, and plain, old-fashioned, everyday interactions can make the lives of those around us look wonderful and at times perfect. Appearances can be decieving.

Even though your friend may look perfectly put together, and her children are wearing adorable coordinated clothes, and they drive a nicer car than you, and her house is immaculately clean at any given time... that does not for even one second mean that her life is perfect, or "better" than yours.

NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE has a perfect life. You may not know about a struggle with depression going on behind the scenes, or a chronic illness or condition being dealt with. Perhaps a battle with keeping a marriage happy and together or struggle with infertility is affecting someone that you are unaware of. And even if they are not dealing with something at this moment, their time will come.

It's easy to have moments of "perfection": the hour you spend on vacation playing together and taking pictures, or the one decent dinner you manage to turn out in a week or more and decide to post about, or a new haircut that you have been waiting months to get. Those are all things that are perfect in their own moments.

And naturally, we want to share our triumphs and happy times with others. It is much harder to admit our weaknesses and and share our failures, plus it tends to be a bit depressing. But ironically, focusing on and comparing ourselves to others is also depressing.

Don't judge others, or yourself, on superficial information. If all
someone had to judge you by was your facebook updates, what would they
think of you? We all have baggage; some peoples' are heavier than
others. Sometimes there are even hurts that never go away, like the
loss of a parent, child, or loved one that everyone else forgets about
over time, but for those closest, the pain can stay very real long long
after the loss.

If we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we are not as good as those we see, we can start down a very dangerous path.

Take me for example. If by some chance I have happened to fool anyone into believing I've got it all together or something, there are some things you should know. I am not a good housekeeper, I have piles of dirty dishes and laundry and stuff around at any given time. I am not very patient sometimes, and at times I let it get the better of me. I lost my mother at age 14 and I envy everyone lucky enough to still have theirs. I have a problem saying no to pretty fabric and paper. And I don't always remember to brush my teeth.

But, there are many good things in my life. And I do try to focus on them. I have a husband and daughter who in my eyes are pretty darn wonderful and we love each other very much. I love all things crafty (except cross stitching, my impatience gets in the way) and I am fairly good at them. I also enjoy cooking and do pretty well there too. I also like people and am generally comfortable in social situations. And, I have been told, that I give off an air of general happiness.

Now, if you only knew about my strengths, it would be easy to imagine that I had few weaknesses. But it wouldn't be true. And I am willing to bet an awful lot of cookies that the same is true for each and every person that you and I know.

Life is not a competition. That kind of high school mentality has NEVER led to happiness. As a little girl I was lucky enough to have parents who told me "The only person you should compare Heather to is Heather". In other words, you are the only measuring stick your should EVER use to judge yourself with. Who cares if Pretty Patty Perfection next door had her Christmas shopping for this year finished back in April. Or if her skin appears flawless at any given time. Or if she runs 10 miles every day? None of those things make YOU any less of the wonderful person YOU are.

Just tell yourself the next time you get discouraged by someone elses seemingly perfect life, you don't know the whole story. That picture of their cute baby might have taken an hour of crying to get, or years and years of trying to get here, or both. Don't let yourself sink too deeply in the lives of others. Take some time to live your own life, and maybe even make it more like you'd like it to be. And maybe don't be so unwilling to admit to others some of the chaos going on behind your scenes :)

One last thing. I truly believe with all my heart and soul that a loving God created each and every one of us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees the beauty and potential he placed within each of us. There is no fooling him, for good or bad. He wants us to be happy, no matter our circumstance. He loves EVERY one of us, and wants us to learn to have that same love for each other. So just remember the next time you are discouraged or disgusted by someone elses life, to look through God's eyes. Try to see yourself and others the way he sees us. You'd be surprised just how much the picture changes :)

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My good friend Jocelyn over at We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ (and my guest here) has decided to continue The Book of Mormon Forum with a blog-hop once a month. I first joined the Forum here, and I'd like to continue joining each month because the Book of Mormon and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are a big part of me being "just" who I am, so it just seems natural to share this with you as part of all the other loveliness I share. Thanks for reading! :)

I was contemplating what thought to share for this month's Book of Mormon Forum blog hop when my husband and I read this verse in our nightly scripture study:

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. (2 Nephi 2:25)

In the next few verses (26 and 27), Lehi continues to talk about what other things men -- and women -- experience as a result of the fall of Adam and our Savior's atoning sacrifice. Editing it down (while still maintaining the meaning, of course), I read that men are...

free to choose liberty and eternal life... or captivity and death (verse 27)

For all three of these purposes to be fulfilled in our lives, we must act for ourselves to choose liberty and eternal life, and thereby gain joy in this life and the next. Without our ability to act and choose for ourselves, we could not experience the fullness of joy that our Heavenly Father has prepared for us: the joy of eternal life.

Each choice that we make each day is a choice toward either liberty and eternal life, or toward captivity and death. As Elder Russell M. Ballard says,

We prepare each day, right now, for eternal life. If we are not preparing for eternal life, we are preparing for something less, perhaps something far less. (Sept 2011 Ensign)

Looking at my choices of the past week or two... I haven't been preparing for eternal life all that well. But, thanks to the Atonement, I can repent of my shortcomings and I can be better. I can do my very best (even all that I can do) so that my life is the very best that it can be, to allow me live eternally with my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ, and my beautiful family!

If you have questions about the Book of Mormon or my beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please leave a comment or email me at iamjustlu@gmail.com.

It can be tough for parents today to tackle the issue of raising spiritually self-reliant children, when we don't feel spiritually sound ourselves. But how important is it to teach our children to be spiritually self-reliant? Consider this:

A child who is spiritually self-reliant will be able to more easily figure out how to deal with a bully, how to seek out healthy relationships, how to deal with the problems of life, and how to fix their own mistakes. (Let's face it, we all make-em.) So how important would it be in your mind for your children to have these skills? Right...very.

Hopefully, if you feel unstable in this area of your parenting, you can follow these simple steps right along with your children and grow, as a family, to become just as capable of changing a tire or sewing on a stray button as you are charting a safe and happy path through life.

Her are six steps to raising spiritually self-reliant children...and becoming spiritually self-reliant yourself:

1. ...know God's laws (know the laws of the land, laws of your family...basically, understand what is expected of you).

2. ...know who you are (know why you are here, know your strengths/weaknesses...know your personal mission/goals).

3. ...know how to communicate with God (know how to pray, know how to ask for help from others).

4. ...know how to feel the Holy Ghost (know how you feel inside normally and what it means when you feel something different, know how to communicate those feelings to others).

5. ...know how to make your own (good) choices (have experiences having responsibility over your own actions).

6. ...know how to fix your mistakes (starts with knowing how to clean up your own spills and continues to knowing how to apologize to others, how to make restitution, how to ask for help from the Atonement of Jesus Christ).

Raising spiritually self-reliant children or being spiritually self-reliant yourself doesn't mean that you have the answer to every question in parenting or in life that presents itself. It does however mean that you have the confidence, ability, and know-how to seek out the correct answers and from the best sources.

In my religious perspective, we "talk of Christ and rejoice in Christ" so that our children will know where to look for answers to every dilemma they may face, so they can ultimately become spiritual entities unto themselves. Whatever your spiritual-leanings may be, you can help raise spiritually self-reliant children by expressing the spiritual laws you live by, by helping them to discover the unique person that they are, by teaching them how to pray, by encouraging them to listen to their heart, by allowing them to make some decisions entirely on their own from an early age, and by giving them the tools necessary to fix their own mistakes.

Today our guest is one of the spunkiest bloggers I know: Andi from Jane of All Crafts. Andi often cracks herself up in her blogs posts (by her own admission), and, without fail, she cracks me up too!

I asked Andi here today to share with us a different topic though, not about humor or crafts...about depression. Because emotional health isn't all rainbows and lollipops, and because depression is so very real and affects more people than we know. I'm so grateful that Andi is willing to share part of herself with us today!

Hi Just Lu followers! I'm Andi from Jane of all Crafts. I blog about all kinds of crafts, DIY, sewing etc. You name it, I probably blog about it. Like my blog title suggests I am a jane of all crafts, master of none :) Aside from my crafting adventures I sometimes get a little personal on my blog and share some things about my family and I. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an open book. What you see is what you get. I wear my heart on my sleeve and have nothing to hide. So once I started to get some loyal followers I thought it was time to share something that is a part of my everyday life and Lu asked me to be here today to share it with you as well. Here is an excerpt from that post.

This particular subject definitely isn't something that defines me but is a part of who I am. I have depression. I take medication (sorry Tom Cruise). It never was an issue, except the occasional blah day, until after Natalie was born. I didn't realize until after the fact that I had had post partum depression. Natalie was 3 when I decided that I needed to try medication. Most days are great, some days not so much. Today has been one of those days. For some reason I just feel sad. It's like this deep gut feeling. I really can't describe it. It sucks away my motivation. I am overwhelmed with thoughts of failure. As I type this I worry what you will think of me and if you are asking yourselves, why is she telling us this? I am having a very difficult time writing this post because until you have had depression it is hard to explain what it feels like to have it. I always tell people that you don't know you are in it until you are out of it, if that makes sense? It's this vicious cycle that just compounds on itself. You feel depressed so you don't want to do anything, then the guilt and self loathing sets in which only makes the depression worse which starts the cycle all over again only worse. It is a very lonely place. I know what it feels like to be numb to everything and feel hopeless. Thinking that you will never get better, you will never figure it out.

Yep, I have depression. And yes, it has been extremely challenging to deal with at times. Although I am learning to better cope with the love and support of my family, friends, doctors, and therapists. The hardest thing for me has been self acceptance. I know having depression doesn't make me any less of a person then someone who doesn't, but I still have days where I ask why me? Why on top of everything else that life throws at me do I have this too? And there is a part of me that is ashamed. Ashamed that I can't do this without taking medicine. Ashamed that I'm not "normal". Sometimes I feel like I just need to suck it up and move on like everyone else does. Then a tiny voice inside my head yells "Snap out of it!" "Depression isn't who you are, you are so much more." I don't always listen to that voice and this road to acceptance is rough but I figure at least I'm making the journey.

Whether or not you have depression all of us can relate to learning to accept things about ourselves we cannot change. For most of us it's an ongoing process. It's important to know that even though there are things we don't like about ourselves we are not defined by them. Learning to except the the hand we've been dealt and choosing not to be so self critical I think is an important step to self reliance.

Like the serenity prayer says, God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

And to anyone who is reading this that suffers from mental illness I want you to know that you are not alone and there are people out there who understand and who will support you. Depression is a very lonely illness.If you haven't talked to someone about how you are feeling find someone you trust and talk to them. Don't stay trapped in your own thoughts. You will get through this.You deserve to be happy and healthy.

Today I have the great pleasure of introducing you to Tera, one my best friends and favorite people in the whole world. I have to include the whole world part because she is currently living in Germany! She shares her European adventures with her four kids at her blog, Tidbits from Tera. Tera and her family are the friends whose wisdom and example (and fun!) stick with you long after your daily interactions with them are past. I am so grateful to have Tera as my friend and here today as my guest!

September ten years ago, the world watched with horror as this happened:

At the same time, I was preparing for the arrival of friends and family to join me for this event:

Erick and I were married two days after 9/11. Some siblings didn't make it because all commercial flights had been cancelled. My father, who was performing the marriage, made it only because we postponed the ceremony by eight hours. That gave him enough time to finish his 18-hour drive straight from where his flight had been grounded. I found myself clamoring to make everything work: adjusting the wedding breakfast to be before the ceremony instead of after; finding something to wear to the breakfast since I would no longer be wearing my wedding dress; contacting the photographer and praying that she would be available for a last-minute change... You get the idea.

The worry and change and stress were intense. But somehow the day turned out perfectly in the end. Despite the chaos in the world and even in my own life, I was married that day to a wonderful man. We were blessed by and surrounded by wonderful family and friends. Erick and I found a way to be together, and it was perfectly romantic.

Little did I know that my wedding experience was foreshadowing what my life would be like in the years to come. Did we experience another 9/11 tragedy? Definitely not. But Erick and I faced other challenges in our years together. To name a few... We moved eight times in ten years due to career changes and job placement. Erick lost his job one week after our second child was born and had no prospects for another job in the region. Erick joined the military and departed for a year of mandatory training while I attended school full-time and cared for our three children.

Through each challenge, we have been able to adjust and rearrange our situation to make it work. And though we have experienced these challenges and many more, somehow Erick and I continue to find ways to grow closer.

Here are a few things we do to strengthen our marriage:

Words can hurt

Something Erick and I decided to do even before we were married was to watch what we say to others about each other. I am quick to praise Erick to my friends and family. I find his strengths and share them happily. Is my husband perfect? Nope. Am I perfect? Even less so. But I do not criticize him to others. I don't share negative things about him with others. I even watch what I post on the internet. How easy is it these days to post a cutting comment on facebook during a moment of frustration?

This commitment to one another has protected our relationship. We know that we can confide in one another, and we know that our confidences will be kept. It has also helped us to consistently look for the good in each other. And after days and weeks and now years of looking for the good in my husband, it is easy to find. And constantly finding good within him makes me love him all the more.

Agree to disagree
During our first year of marriage, I was very difficult to get along with. I know Erick would never say so, but it was a tough year for him. I was overbearing and emotional. The reason? I believed that my way of doing things was always the best. The problem? Erick didn't believe that my way of doing things was always the best. Of course it was best most of the time... but not always. (ha ha)

For example, we had heated discussions about Sabbath day observance. I was very opinionated about what we should and should not do on Sunday. The problem? Football. Erick loves football. It is a true passion of his. He played in high school and in college. He has followed college and professional football most of his life. When his team plays on Sunday, he wants to watch it. I struggled with this. I felt like watching football on Sunday was a far cry from "keeping the Sabbath Day holy." Whenever he turned on the TV to watch a game or even check the score, I felt anger and bitterness toward him. (See? I told you I was difficult.)

During one of our discussions regarding this issue, Erick read me the eleventh Article of Faith, which states, "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." Erick taught me that this does not only refer to people outside of our own faith, but people who share our faith. We know the commandments. We have the counsel from our prophet. Now it is up to us to obey those commandments in the way that we see fit. His counsel has stayed with me.

Which of us was at greater fault? The one who turned on a television or the one who cast judgement and had anger in her heart? I realized that my anger was the cause of contention, not the football game. I love Erick very much. He is a good, honest, and kind man. He doesn't drink, smoke, cuss, or abuse. He serves others. He is tender and loving. He is an amazing, supportive husband and father. He does so much good. Why should I dwell on such an insignificant difference of opinion?

There have been other (fairly minor) things in life that we don't agree on. We are aware of our differing viewpoints, and we respect each other's opinions. But instead of judging one another, we strive be loving and tolerant. We have learned to agree to disagree. And I believe we are both better for it.

Tell me what you need

This one is kind of strange. It may not work for everyone, but it definitely works for us.

Long before I met Erick, I noticed that men (in general) were not always as observant as women wanted them to be. I had heard married friends and family say things like, "he should have known...," or "he didn't even notice..." when they were speaking about their husbands. These women would get outright angry, and their husbands would have no idea what they had done wrong.

When I met Erick, I decided to try an experiment of sorts. I told him exactly what I thought he should know or notice, and I told him what I wanted him to do about it. Does that make any sense at all? Probably not. Let me give you an example:

I call Erick on the phone before he gets home from work.

Erick: Hello?

Tera: Hi Erick. Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I got my hair cut today.

E: Okay.

T: When you get home, will you be sure to notice it and tell me how much you like it?

E: Sure. Thanks for the heads up.

T: You're welcome. Now don't forget.

E: I won't. Love you.

Believe it or not, my experiment worked. Both Erick and I love it, and we have continued to tell each other our needs and expectations throughout our marriage. Here's another one:

T: Thanks Erick. When you get home, would you try to be extra nice? I need a little extra love.

E: Of course. I love you babe. I'll be home as soon as I can.

Like I said, this may not work for everyone, but it has definitely saved us from the stress and frustration that many couples feel. Believe it or not, the love or praise that he gives me is just as sweet as if he thought of it himself. I get exactly what I need, and he doesn't have to wonder how I'm going to react to him when he gets home.

Date

"Continue to date your spouse even after you are married." I'm sure you've heard it a million times. Erick and I have interpreted this one a little differently because of our varied situations in life.

There were many times in our marriage when we could not afford to go out on a date. We couldn't even afford a babysitter. So we stayed in. Our focus was finding alone time together. We made it a point to put the kids to bed and spend quality one-on-one time together. Some nights we would just talk over a bowl of ice cream. My favorite date night was eating dinner picnic style in the middle of the family room floor and then watching a movie together. Easy. Free.

There was a time when Erick was striving to start his own landscaping business. He worked long grueling hours. He was gone before the kids and I woke up in the morning and came home long after we had gone to bed. There was little time for us to be alone together. I believe that this time could have damaged our relationship had we not desperately worked to demonstrate our love for one another.

Instead of spending a lot of time together, we looked for ways to serve each other. I would make him a special lunch and take it to him at his job site. I would make sure to have the house clean and stress free and have a good meal waiting for him when he got home. It was in the fridge and had to be reheated, but it was ready on a plate for him. Occasionally, Erick found the energy to do the dishes that I had left in the sink at the end of an exhausting day. These little things seemed huge at the time. I loved him more during this time than I ever had before.
>

Today it's even harder to find time alone together. Erick is deployed for the year to Afghanistan. He is in a dangerous and primitive area that has sporadic and slow internet. I think dating now is more important than ever. But how? It's all about setting aside time for each other. This may sound crazy, but we cyber date. Through email, we share ideas and hopes and experiences. We discuss the children and make plans. We compliment each other and challenge each other. Despite our physical distance, he his right with me emotionally.

I know that Erick and I still have many challenges ahead, but I'm sure that with a positive outlook and good communication, we will continue to grow closer every year.

I am terrible about thank-yous. I just found a box of written but never sent thank-you notes from our wedding almost five years ago. And just last week I gave up clinging to the hope that I'd eventually get going with the thank-yous for the baby gifts that Little Piña was showered with. I take small comfort in sending good karma instead of thank-yous...

Anyway, in the last few months, I've won some fantastic giveaways and I would be remiss if I didn't let you know about them because I love each and every one!

The only unfortunate part about having won all these great giveaways is that I think I've used up my luck for the year... so no chance of winning a new Silhouette Cameo machine at one of the great giveaways going on. Rough life, eh? ;)