Style Court

10.04.2008

Fourth Ingredient: Consideration

"A person's good manners are primarily a matter of considerate actions; a house's good manners are largely a matter of considerate furnishings that are comfortable, co-operative, and easy to live with. They take into account the fact that things, no matter how beautiful, are less important than people."

-- Vogue's Book of Etiquette, 1969

The book goes on to say that consideration begins before one enters the front door: have a well-lighted street number, a driveway free of obstacles, and a clearly marked mail box.

"A reasonable amount of shabbiness is nothing to be ashamed of, and certainly should not be confused with dirtiness...Too much newness can have overtones of a store display and give the impression that a house is more of a showpiece than a place for enjoying a full life."

"Anything that is irritating or a hazard is inconsiderate and should be eliminated or fixed -- small rugs that slip, the bathroom lock that does not work, the table leg that wobbles." Pillows should enhance comfort, not make it hard to sit down.

Make sure entryways and stairs are free of scattered toys, but remember "It is not a tragedy if there are fluffs of dust in a corner, if the sofa pillows are crushed, or the newspaper is spread open on the table. An often-used desk is usually cluttered, an overflowing table in the front hall simply means that a family finds it the most convenient place to leave all sorts of miscellany. Friendliness is essential to the well-mannered house, and is expressed by its relaxed acceptance of people's comings and goings, their habits and hobbies, their needs and pleasures."

"Consideration is many-faceted, and a considerate house is as generous in its own way as a considerate person. Both focus on making people feel happy, at ease, and unaware of any effort that may have been exerted to bring about their sense of well-being."

20 comments:

Great post! just in time for the holidays when our homes will be filled with friends and family. Many do not realize that consideration starts out at the mail box all the way to the front door! I love that part!

That is such a wonderful book — the advice is so thoughtful and realistic. My 88 year old mother-in-law was living with us for part of the summer and it made me very aware of how quickly a chic concept can turn into a hazard. It really made me rethink some of my design decisions — so it's nice to see that I'm on the right track. I've loved waiting for your posts and to see how you will illustrate them. And don't I recognize image No. 7 from a stylish Atlanta address?

This is wonderful advice. Why do I always feel so self-conscious when people come into my house? It must be an insecurity. When I entertain - I spend days in advance scouring my house with a fine tooth comb. This hinders me from entertaining as often as I'd like.

Just curious -- a familiar fabric on an ottoman. Is picture 7 a personal one of yours?

Brillant words -- and ones that should be posted at every design or decorator's office! I LOVE the phrase of a "considerate house" -- really wise and welcome words when creating a "home" (as opposed to a "house")

courteny: i'm crazy about that red kitchen! i've stolen the image for my personal image bank. it's strange, but this one image, of this terrific red kitchen, has made me rethink my design choices over the past 10 years!