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Seriously, you won’t believe what this man claims he found in his cereal. Warning: DO NOT READ THIS WITHIN ONE HOUR OF EATING. As reported by The Telegraph (Macon, Georgia):

An Upson County man and his wife have filed a federal suit against a grocery store chain and cereal manufacturer, contending that the man found a used tampon in a bowl of cereal.

If you didn’t just about hurl, what is wrong with you?

In the complaint, Thomas and Lynn Roddenberry said they bought a box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal from the Save-A-Lot store at 1021 N. U.S. 19 in Thomaston on Oct. 23, 2008.

The following day, Thomas Roddenberry opened the cereal box and poured cereal and milk into a bowl. After taking a bite, Roddenberry said he discovered the tampon in his bowl, according to the suit, filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Macon.

Roddenberry said he spit out the milk and cereal and became nauseated almost immediately. He went to an emergency room for treatment, according to the complaint.

The seal for the cereal box and the plastic bag containing the cereal showed no signs of having been broken by anyone previously.

Roddenberry sustained physical injuries “from the adulterated food” as well as emotional worry, according to the lawsuit.

The Roddenberrys are seeking unspecified general and special damages, as well as court costs.

How often do you think to yourself “I love work so much, I wish I never had to go home”? Me too. Still, how far would you go to get off of work early? Would you, say, start a fire in your office? How about turning off the breaker for the entire office building? How about rigging the phones so that there would be no incoming calls? Sounds crazy, right? Check this out, as reported by the St. Petersburg Times:

Pasco sheriff’s investigators said Michelle Perrino, 40, started a fire at Bayonet Point Oxygen on May 12, 2009. Perrino drew suspicion when she mentioned the fire’s origin — a filing cabinet — during an employee meeting. Employees had not been told where the fire started.

Filing cabinet? No, I didn’t say “filing cabinet.” I said “hire a rabit.” You know, rabbits are fast, and they’re so cute …

[The] Sheriff’s reports also quoted Perrino’s friend, who said she told him she also tripped the main breaker for the office building so it would lose power and adjusted the phones so no calls could come in, all so she would be sent home from work early with pay.

So what happened to Ms. Perrino?

[She] pleaded guilty Monday to criminal mischief and was sentenced to nine months in jail, followed by five years of probation. She must also pay $4,800 in restitution and have no contact with Bayonet Point Oxygen or its employees.

It might be tempting to simply chalk this one up to bad timing, but the dude tried to steal the hottest item in the world on the first day it was available! As reported by WDRB (Louisville, KY)

According to an arrest report, on Thursday afternoon, 21-year-old Raylon J. Brooks an employee of UPS, removed an iPhone — worth $649 — from a shipping pallet and hid it inside his boot, then tried to walk out of the building with it.

But it didn’t quite work out as he planned.

How could this ingenious plan have failed?

“UPS did a random audit today, and as employees were leaving, they made them take their shoes off,” the arrest report states.

Random my arse.

Police say that, when Brooks took his boots off, the iPhone fell out.

Brooks allegedly admitted to stealing the iPhone and gave a written statement. He was arrested and charged with theft.

Given the available choices: (1) What? How’d that get in there? (2) No hablo Ingles. (3) I was just checking to make sure the facility is secure. (4) Okay, you got me… – It’s hard to give the guy too much credit for fessin’ up. Here’s the source.

As a personal injury lawyer himself, The Juice has heard many stories about behavior before, during and after car accidents.
This one, though, takes the cake. As reported by The Union Leader (New Hampshire):

Jared D. Hooper, 21, of 26 Partridge Lane, was arrested after police responded to the area of Garden and Westville roads around 6:30 p.m. to investigate the accident involving Hooper and another vehicle.

Arrested for what was described as a “minor” car accident? Hmm.

Deputy Police Chief Kathleen Jones said Hooper struck the other vehicle and then got out of his car and ran over to yell at the female driver.

Not cool, but … wait for it …

“He started smashing on the window and was yelling at her. Then he stopped and took off all of his clothing,” Jones said.

Bam!

“When officers got there he was standing there naked. He was still screaming. He had absolutely nothing on. This was definitely an unusual occurrence” said Jones…

As for the obvious question …

Contacted at his home Wednesday night, Hooper said he couldn’t comment on the accident or the reasons why he took off his clothes.

“Unfortunately I can’t respond to questions. I have nothing to say,” he said.

The crime?

Hooper was charged with driving while intoxicated, and with disorderly conduct, lewd behavior and criminal threatening.

Let’s say your neighbor has a trailer in the parking lot with a bunch of furniture in it. You’re tired of looking at it, but what to do? In a word … Craigslist! Yeah, sure, technically (and in ever other way) it’s not yours. Carpe diem, right Ms. Kimball? Per the Tampa Tribune:

The 29-year-old resident of Chelsea Meadows apartments got sick of looking at a trailer loaded with furniture in the complex parking lot, Pasco County deputies say.

So she took matters into her own hands by taking a picture of it and posting an advertisement on Craigslist, deputies say.

“Come get this trailer, attach it to your car and get it out of here,” it read. “I’m tired of looking at it, and I have no idea what to do with it. You must take couches and dresser too either keep them or dispose of them, just get them out of here! Thank you! No need to email or call just come get it,” it stated. The ad continued with specific directions to the complex. “The trailer is sitting in the parking lot ready to be attached to the car and take. I will delete this post when it is gone. Thank you!”

And?

[The trailer owner’s fiancee – actually it belongs to his dad] Jennifer Lepage, … was home when someone knocked on the door looking for the free trailer. She said it wasn’t free and looked outside and saw it had vanished, Andrews said.

Snap! And Ms. Kimball almost pulled it off.

At some point, another person came over looking for the freebie and had the printed advertisement in hand and waited for deputies to arrive.

“If he had not had printed it out, I would have had no way of proving to the deputy that it was on Craigslist because by that time it had been deleted,” Andrews said.

The charges?

… deputies arrested Vanessa Kimball, 29, on a charge of grand theft.

The trailer? The furniture? …

By the next day, according to a sheriff’s office report … the [now damaged] trailer reappeared – still loaded with the furniture – at the end of the complex’s driveway …

Dude didn’t say that, but he might has well have, given the way he presented himself. As reported by the Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Police gave the following report:

A man called police from the Hess gas station on Route 31 north on Wednesday, Oct. 5 at about 7:50 p.m., reporting the situation and noting that he was unable to wake the driver.

So being tired is a crime? No, but …

Patrolman Lawrence Anthes found Daniel Wilson, 36, of Frenchtown asleep in the van, which was still running and had been parked at the gas pumps for about one hour.

Anthes also tried to wake Wilson but initially could not, police said. The patrolman saw that the van’s passenger-side rear tire was gone and that the vehicle had been driven on the rim. The patrolman reached into the vehicle, turned it off, and then physically shook Wilson awake.

Wilson, who had the odor of alcohol on his breath, was removed from the vehicle and arrested after the patrolman determined that he was intoxicated. The minivan was towed from the scene and impounded.

This information was on a need-to-know basis. Clearly, this was not something the officer needed to know. As reported in The Highline Times (Washington State):

Suspicious vehicle

An officer contacted and identified a suspicious subject parked behind the Normandy Park Athletic Club in the 19900 block of 1st Ave. S. The subject admitted to the officer that he had planned to urinate behind the building. The subject was warned and released.

Say what? Released to drive home drunk? (Although it’s not certain he was drunk, he makes a pretty case for it.)

There’s an old saying:”If it seems too good to be true, it is.” There’s another old saying: “There’s an exception to every rule.” Here’s an exception, as reported by Reuters:

Standing in the aptly chosen “Frohsinnstrasse” (“Cheerfulness Street”) in the town of Aschaffenburg, the unnamed pensioner wore a sign around his neck explaining his philanthropy: “I am not unemployed or homeless. I have a wife. I am well. That’s why I’d like to give you a euro.”

A passer-by who feared the pensioner was running a scam alerted police, who were surprised at the man’s explanation that he merely wanted to share his happiness at retiring.

[Note: The passer-by also enjoys hunting golden-egg-laying geese.]

After explaining himself, the pensioner was allowed to continue his generous retirement celebrations, because after all there’s no law against giving away your own money to passing strangers, according to local police.

Really? There’s no law against just giving money away money? Shocking. Here’s the source.

A handcuffed man (behind the back!) escapes from your patrol car, and you’re going to include a charge of stealing handcuffs? Are you sure that’s a part of the case you really want to highlight? Pick one: “Fugitive escapes!” or “Handcuffed fugitive in back of patrol car escapes, and steals $29 handcuffs that are supposed to be restraining him, under the nose of the officer who should be watching him.” As reported by The Daily News (Washington State):

A DOC officer arrested Eric Mitchell Lair on a felony warrant Oct. 1, according to a Longview police report. On the way to Cowlitz County jail, “Lair was able to open the back of (an) unmarked DOC caged vehicle and flee,” the report said.

“Lair was handcuffed behind his back at the time of escape,” the report said. Officers from multiple agencies conducted an “extensive search” of the area, but couldn’t find Lair.

On Thursday, a Superior Court judge issued a warrant for Lair’s arrest on suspicion of first-degree escape.

Police also noted that the handcuffs Lair escaped with are valued at $29 and requested he be charged with third-degree theft.

In this case from Australia, two 20-year-old men, Robert Karaca and Jarred Royce Price, were charged with attempted murder. Their “victim” was a 32-year-old friend of theirs named Bruce Levin, who was intent on killing himself, and convinced them to help.

Levin spoke of overdosing on sleeping tablets. If that failed, he wanted to be hit on the back of the head with a steel bar. Oh, and he threw in more than $5,000. (That’d be a little less than $5,000 U.S., but, still, nothing that a couple of broke 20-year-olds would scoff at.)

When Levin’s sleeping pills appeared not to work, Karaca couldn’t bring himself to hit Levin with the pole, so Price was asked to do it. Apparently, Levin thanked them profusely before he was hit, then suddenly had a change of heart – after he was hit twice. He laid still and played dead to avoid being hit again.

Thinking Levin was dead, his pals took off. A bloodied Levin got his wounds stitched at the hospital. A remorseful Karaca told the police what they had done.

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