Sometimes you can’t do your job without looking like a corporate tool. That’s what Anessa Owen Kramer, a trademark lawyer for Starbucks, recently discovered when she sent a cease and desist letter to Jeff Britton, owner of the Exit 6 Pub and Brewery in Cottleville, Missouri.

The problem began when Britton decided to mix his little brewpub’s coffee chocolate stout with their vanilla creme, creating a delightful tipple that, according to one customer, tasted a lot like one of them fancy Frappucino’s over at Starbucks. That customer checked in on UnTapped, dubbing the beer a “Frappicino,” one letter away from the famous 7,000 calorie coffee drink. Two other beer-loving oversharers also checked in with the brew, amounting to a grand total of three reviews for the misspelled concoction on the badge-obsessed beer site.

It wasn’t long before Exit 6 received a cease and desist letter from Starbucks, stating that the beer “is likely to cause confusion, mistake or deception among consumers, who may mistakenly believe that Exit 6 or this beer product is affiliated with or licensed by Starbucks Coffee Co., when they are not.” No mention was made to the mental acuity of these potentially confused consumers, but if they might think that a tiny brewpub in Missouri had a licensing deal with Starbucks, one can assume that they are a can or two short of a six pack.

While Starbucks is well within their rights to protect their copyright (they almost HAVE to, as their claim on it in the future can be weakened if they don’t actively protect the mark), Britton is also well within his rights to deliver a wise-assed response. And so he did, addressing a letter to Ms. Owen Kramer, and cc’ing “Mr. Bucks.”

Here’s the letter in its entirety:

The check for $6.00 was a nice gesture for sure.

I know we need copyright laws to keep the things we create safe from those who try to profit unfairly from our hard work, but it’s still nice to see a sharp “little guy” call bullshit on the whole silly affair.

That said, I think scuttling the Starbuck-McDonalds-CocaCola-Marlboro Honey Lager is probably a good move, given today’s overly litigious corporate landscape. Britton might wind up having to cut a check for a lot more than $6.00 – probably closer $25.00!!

That was pretty funny, although the most outrageous thing to me was that you can buy a pint of craft beer for $2. That doesn’t ring true. Also Jim, trademark law is involved here (title 15 of the US code), not copyright (title 17). They aren’t the same thing, contrary to popular belief

I’m glad Exit 6 took it with a good sense of humor. But this whole trademark/intellectual property/etc. thing is really getting out of hand. Hell, the folks that own most of these megacorps are the much-ballyhooed 1%, who already have more money than they can ever possibly spend. They need to get a hobby–home brewing might be a good start.

Yikes – don’t encourage an interest in brewing with these predators. The last thing we need is the “Starbucks of beer”! Overpriced, fancy euro-style brew sold at inflated prices. They’d probably figure out a way to trademark the word “Kolsch” – tricky these ones are!