There are two things infinite, the universe and human stupidity, although I
am not too sure about the former.

Welcome to my realm of
controversial sarcastic humour looking at human stupidity from my point of
view.

Due to the existence of morons, disclaimers are
ne

cessary. Please read the
one at the bottom of the page.

Because real men bitch like hell...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

my plans for world domination

Since I've been tagged a grand number of 3 times by Lyn, Bujanglapuk, Waterjunk, I thought that I should get around to doing this. If you didn't already know, its a game where you can pick 5 occupations out of the list below, and then pass the tag along to 3 friends so that they could do it.

If I could be a scientistIf I could be a farmerIf I could be a musicianIf I could be a doctorIf I could be a painterIf I could be a gardenerIf I could be a missionaryIf I could be a chefIf I could be an architectIf I could be a linguistIf I could be a psychologistIf I could be a librarianIf I could be an athleteIf I could be a lawyerIf I could be an innkeeperIf I could be a professorIf I could be a writerIf I could be a llama-riderIf I could be a bonnie pirateIf I could be a service memberIf I could be a photographerIf I could be a philanthropistIf I could be a rap artistIf I could be a child actorIf I could be a secret agentIf I could be a comedian/comedienneIf I could be a priestIf I could be a radio announcerIf I could be a phlebotomistIf I could be Paris Hilton’s stylistIf I could be a movie producerIf I could be the CEO of MicrosoftIf I could be an astronautIf I could be a world famous bloggerIf I could be a justice on any one court in the worldIf I could be married to any current famous political figureIf I could be a dog trainer

Now....if you recall, once upon a time, I did mention why I blog. Its in the FAQs by the side. Basically, I feel that the world would be a much better place if it were governed by my rules and my way of life. There would be not so much hate around, stupid people would be non-existant (because I will execute all of them), and people wouldn't complain about things too much. But there was a problem, I had no army to use to fight for me, and I had no machine that could brainwash people to think like me.

So,

If I could be a priest...I would create my own religion where I am God (since I am great anyway) and get people to worship me. Then, I could tell my followers to go and fight wars in my favour. I mean, I would be no different from the rest of the other people anyway. People fight and kill other people just because they seem to think that 'my God is better than yours'. Its been going on for centuries (however long ago the Crusades were) and is still going on now...so essentially, I won't be doing anything different.

If I could be a scientist...I would then develop one of those brainwashing machines to be used after I take over the world. Like Hitler, I would set up large concentration camps and fill them up with those brainwashing machines. Resistance is futile. Anybody who does not respond kindly to the brainwashing exercise would be termed 'stupid' and forced to wear a 'Stupid Star' on their shirt pockets. The rest of the general public are allowed to scorn and kick them in the backside. We could also round-up all those Stupid Star people and I could build one giant hamster wheel (I am a scientist, remember) and force them to run on the wheel, generating enough electricity supply so that we scientists don't have to worry about hydroelectric dams and renewable fuel source.

If I could be a psychologist...I will stock my treatment room with guns, ropes, sleeping pills, etc....My office would be on the top floor of Vincent Tower, and there would be a window which is permanently open. Whenever somebody complains to me about how sucky their life is, I would point them in the direction of the window, or give them a tool of their preference. Besides, psychologists also make good brainwashing agents. Their style will definately be primitive compared to my self-built machine, but I am a far sighted man, and I have considered the factors of Appropriate Technology. For those rural villages with no electricity, psychologists like myself could go there and manually brainwash people there by just talking all sorts of jibberish analytical stuffs.

If I could be a world famous blogger........Bloggers actually have more power than people realise...especially the famous ones. Like that Xiaxue who 'lost' her camera and her readers volunteered to buy her a new one or send her money. Imagine, she didn't announce her bank account number on that post, and yet some people dug it up from her archives and transferred money to her. Fucking amazing! Or, like Maddox, who got screwed over by a travel agent, resulting in a shitload of those American dudes boycotting them and sending them hate mail.

Now............think of all the stuffs I could do with all that power. My blog would then be about spreading my propaganda (if it isn't already one). I could use it to build my army, so I have two armies. One who worship me as God, and the other one who worship my writtings, and hence worship me as God nonetheless. Both who are willing to do my bidding (total world domination).

Oh, a lot of people have told me that I can argue stuffs very well, so,

If I could be a lawyer...

I would have the tongue of a King Cobra (forked) and that would be cool because not many humans have forked tongues. This means that I could join a travelling circus and be rich.

That last one had nothing to do with world domination if you didn't already realise. Its just that some people exist just to be the butt of a few jokes. Like blondes, and, erm...lawyers.

And now, I should tag people who are most unlikely to respond..Which means, I tag Doc, Metalrage, and any lawyer.

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