My friend has a bad attitude!

"One of my good friends has a really bad temper. Sometimes she'll be mean and rude for no reason. I get really nervous around her, and don't know what to do. Please help."

Patricia, 18, Russell, ON, Canada

It's hard to be friends with someone when you never know what kind of mood she'll be in. While you might think you're the cause of her outbursts, they probably have nothing to do with you. It might seem odd, but when people haven't learned how to deal with their emotions, they often end up taking them out on the person they trust most. First, learn what causes her temper to flare up. Is there a certain subject (like her ex-boyfriend) that always seems to get her steaming mad? Pay careful attention to this the next few times she acts up. When she starts to get angry, speak to her about it calmly by saying: "Talking about this seems to make you very upset. I want to help and be your friend, but I don't appreciate the way you're treating me." Hopefully she'll notice that she's a little out of control, and snap back to her normal self. But if she's still raging mad and you can't calm her down, simply say: "I need to go. I'll be here to talk about whatever is bothering you after you calm down a little," and head out. Remember that it's not up to you to "fix" your friend. If you continue to feel nervous around her, take it as a signal that you might need to spend some time away from her for a while. Soon she'll understand that she can't keep acting this way if she wants you to continue hanging out with her.

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