“Vescovi makes you wish you wish you could taste Tony’s wine, Desolina’s tortellini; makes you wish you had grandparents like these”.

The Internet Review of Books

"Eat Now; Talk Later offers a model of how to tell family stories humorously yet respectfully, from a culture that isn’t tell-all."

Ambassador Magazine (National Italian American Foundation)

“This memoir celebrates the breadth of family life: loyalty, struggle, humor and love.”

La Gazzetta Italiana

"Eat Now; Talk Later is well written and well edited. The author’s voice is engaging, as is his sympathy for his father….The photographs are lovely additions to the book…[as are] his grandparents’ favorite recipes.”

Italophiles

“I frequently giggled while reading on the bus, showing onlookers the cover to let them know what I was reading….Vescovi weaves tales of loyalty, struggle, humor, misunderstanding, and love throughout. Don’t miss the pictures at the end!”

Lauracarroll.com

“You do not have to be Italian...to appreciate Vescovi’s book, as every story gives the reader an understanding of what it is like to have family with a foreign background.”

Italian Insider, Rome

“The most endearing quality of Vescovi’s stories is without a doubt the genuine, laugh-while-you-are-reading humor, which he exposes without a trace of ridicule.”

Catholic Fiction.net

“A book for everyone, for those in Italy eager to know more of Italian Americans and for those who in this book can find their roots and laugh, smile and be moved.”

Italian Heritage Magazine

“Read it! It will make you realize just how precious our family members are, with all their quirks and their faults!”

The Guiltless Reader

_______________________________________________

FULL REVIEWS

Tales Told in a True Storyteller's Voice

By Fred Gardaphe, reviewer for Fra Noi,

Chicago 's premier magazine for the Italian American community

“What the child wants to forget, the grandchild wants to remember.” This saying, attributed to the late sociologist Marcus Hansen, captures the context for much Italian-American writing these days, especially that which focuses on the lives of the immigrants who left their homelands so that their children would have better lives. Often, these stories, like home movies, mean more to those in them than to those who read them. Not so with James Vescovi’s “Eat Now; Talk Later.” These “52 True Tales of Family, Feasting and the American Dream,” reach far beyond the author’s family totouch the most distant reader. A writer by trade,Vescovi captures stories that he has heard from his father and grandparents in a simple language that makes reading them a joyful and worthwhile experience.

His father, Selvi, is an only child who has become successful via corporate America. Selvi often finds himself trapped in and frustrated by the role of caretaker, especially as his parents reach their senior years. James, the ever-observant grandson, turns his father’s frustration into moving stories that capture more than family history. The way the characters communicate makes for a wonderful study in the evolution of Italian identity in the United States, especially when the author gives his children Italian names that upset his grandparents.

Vescovi organizes the short episodes into five sections. “La Sagra,” the Feast, focuses on the food that brought this family to the sites where these stories are passed on to future generations. “Stati Uniti,” covers the immigrant experiences of Tony and Desolina as they make their way from Casaselvatica to the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood of Manhattan and Astoria in Queens, N.Y. “Semplicità” focuses on the simple lives led by these immigrants as they forged new identities as Italian Americans.

Vescovi admits that his grandparents did nothing “grand” with their lives other than live them honestly and full of love for their family. From the way they handled their money, to the wacky ways they watched wrestling on television, their thoroughly normal lives are extraordinarily rendered. It is out of these lives and their loves that Vescovi mines poignant, and often humorous, stories told in a true storyteller’s voice.

“Si Ricordiamo” covers the tales recounted by Tony and Desolina of the land they left behind. Key here are stories of the returns to Italy by Vescovi and his bride as they spend part of their honeymoon in the ancestral towns of Casaselvatica and Casalasagna, where they find a key symbol of their past—a nickel-plated scythe that they bring home to hang on the wall of his parents’ home. One generation’s work has become art to subsequent generations and a way of preserving the family’s history and dignity that comes from hard work. The collection concludes with “Stare per Finire,” as the grandparents complete their lives, leaving a legacy of lessons for future generations.

Concluding with a few recipes and a scrapbook of family photos, “Eat Now; Talk Later” will remind you of your grandparents, even if they weren’t Italian immigrants. Vescovi succeeds not so much by the uniqueness of his story, but simply by the way he tells it. You can sample Vescovi’s literary fare and hear the author talk about his work at: www.eatnowtalklater.com.

A Thousand Tortellini in Perfect Rows

Reviewed by Marty Carlock, Internet Review of Books

James Vescovi touts this book as a glimpse of his Italian peasant grandparents struggling with the puzzles of 20th-century America. In the end their story sounds less like a struggle than a brushing off of the alien culture with one of those very Italian wrist-flicks.

His grandmother Desolina never stopped insisting that her corporate executive son, Selvi, should move back to Astoria, New York, from his job in Michigan – sons were supposed to stay near their parents forever. His grandfather Tony, in retirement, found nothing to do other than sit on the front stoop and watch the passing scene – in Italy, he would have been busy tending his garden and his grandchildren. Almost every cliché ever spread about those European immigrants of the past century appears in these pages – yet so lovingly told and rationally explained that we sympathize rather than deride.

Vescovi by trade is a high school English teacher. He writes with grace and simplicity, telling his stories in an empathetic way that leaves his clueless grandparents with their dignity intact. He groups his tales into five sections, starting with the most important, “Sagra” – feasting.

“To Desolina, making conversation during a meal was like shouting during a church sermon. It was forbidden. Anyone who attempted to speak during a meal was told, ‘Eat now; talk later.’ To my grandparents, eating was paramount, even sacred.”

For decades his grandparents refused to eat anything that hadn’t come out of their own kitchen – even pizza. “Hundreds of new products were being introduced to American consumers every year…but Tony and Desolina were oblivious. They pushed their cart down the same old aisles, for the same old pasta, milk, cannellini beans, tuna, Italian bread, apples and bananas.”

In their 90s, however, they relented and sampled the vast array of New York ethnic foods, but only if Jimmy brought it. (He told them pirogi were Polish ravioli.) The only failure was Chinese food, “I believe because they couldn’t tell what was in it. Desolina kept asking me what the hell we were eating.”

It’s hard to choose just one or two stories to quote. There’s the time corporate recruiters interviewed Selvi’s parents to make sure their son was a good fit for a job. Tony offered samples of his homemade wine and Desolina fed them cake. By the time the evening was over, Selvi had the job and one of the recruiters had a monstrous hangover.

There was the time the family took the grandparents to a New York steakhouse that served huge portions. Tony and Desolina ordered mammoth prime rib dinners and whiled away the wait by consuming basket after basket of rolls – and then scarfed down the dinners without a problem. Tony often said that, with all its wonders, the best thing about America was that he could eat all he wanted every day.

Tony worked as an installer of terrazzo floors. His son went to college and traveled the world for a major pharmaceutical company. When his grandson went to college and on for graduate work, Desolina couldn’t grasp the idea of “extra college.” James had hoped to become a professor, but his teachers made it clear he wasn’t PhD material. He settled for a writing job and told his grandmother he was going to be a “journalista.” She was aghast. She thought he meant a corner newsstand guy.

There are pictures of the blurry family type at the back of the book, but Vescovi’s descriptions of his forebears far surpass them. When his grandparents came to visit, Desolina was never satisfied until she had made a thousand tortellini. She set up tables in the basement, covered them with linen cloths and sprinkled them with flour.

“In the corner of one table, she propped the dough-making machine and next to it a bowl of the filling made of eggs, spinach, ricotta and parmagiano cheese, and spices…She rolled out reams and reams of dough. Along them she dropped a daub of pieno (filling), doubled the dough over, and cut out the tortellini with a small wooden cupping tool or a shot glass. She laid the finished tortellini out in perfect rows along the flour-dusted tables.”

James and his brother would bring their friends down to watch her work. “There she stood in an old dress with her arms bulging from the short sleeves like prosciutto hams. She wore a kerchief on her head. She waved, but didn’t say anything. To them she must have seemed like some diorama of a 19th century Italian peasant.”

Vescovi makes you wish you wish you could taste Tony’s wine, Desolina’s tortellini; makes you wish you had grandparents like that.

Anyone with Italian grandparents or memories of a friend’s will laugh in recognition at James Vescovi’s stories about Tony and Desolina, the author’s immigrant grandparents. Set in Queens, N.Y., [Manhattan, Michigan, and Italy], the stories fit five themes: Stati Uniti recounts Tony and Desolina’s appreciation for and misunderstanding of America; Semplicita bespeaks the influence of farming culture and a medieval mindset in American; Si Ricordiamo reveals understandings from Vescovi’s own visits to Italy; and Stare per Finire unveils clever caretaking in Tony and Desolina’s final years.

Eat Now; Talk Later offers a model of how to tell family stories humorously yet respectfully, from a culture that isn’t tell-all. From Vescovi’s choice to describe his Master’s degree in English as “extra college”...to Desolina’s open-mindedness at sampling McDonald’s Quarter Pounders, fries, and shakes at age ninety, the stories offer a seat at a familiar table and slake our thirst for sharing from memory.

The author’s web site (www.eatnowtalklater.com) features audio versions of select stories, recipes, a photo scrapbook, and a blog.

Eat Now; Talk Later

Reviewed by Candida Martinelli, Italophiles

Eat Now; Talk Later is a collection of stories that make up a memoirs-biography about the author's grandparents, who emigrated to the United States from Italy in the 1920s.

The fifty-two essays that make up the book, cover various moments in the lives of Antonio and Desolina Vescovi, and explore their relationship with their only child, Selvi, and their relationship with Selvi's children, especially with the author, who helped care for his grandparents in their old age.

Antonio (Tony) and Desolina were born circa 1900 and passed away circa 2000. Their move to The States was for the proverbial "better life". The author writes that the essays have "a universal quality about them", and that they are "about what it is to be human".

Yes, they are universal and human stories, about economic migrants. Tony and Desolina's emigration follows the same pattern most economic migrants follow to this day. Eat Now; Talk Later is well written and well edited. The author's voice is engaging, as is his sympathy for his father, Selvi. While he loved his grandparents, he saw clearly how their old-world demands on their new-world son took a toll on the man.

The photographs included with the text are lovely additions to the book. As an extra bonus, the author includes a few of his grandparents' favorite recipes, worked out by the younger women in the Vescovi family. I received this book as a review-copy.

Ever wonder what it would be like to have parents or grandparents from another country? Eat Now; Talk Later will give you an idea. Did you have parents or grandparents from another country? Then you will identify with these stories, and recognize the commonality of all immigrants and children of immigrants and grandchildren of immigrants, for it is a universal story.

Are you quick to criticize immigrants for sticking to their home-country ways? This book can offer you a glimpse into the reasons why that is the case, hopefully creating in you greater compassion for people who have given up so much in the hope of gaining just a little bit more to eat, and more security for themselves and for their children.

Eat Now; Talk Later

Reviewed by Laura Carroll, Lauracarroll.com, Author and Book Consultant

Vescovi collected both stories his father told him and many of his own. He shared them with family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, and writes, “Largely, listeners enjoyed them-laughed, teared up, or shook their heads in wonder-because the tales had a universal quality about them.”

And laugh I did. It’s been awhile since I frequently giggled while reading on the bus, showing onlookers the cover to let them know what I was reading. Some stories made me tear up, as they brought to mind memories from my own family–like how I still miss my aunt and godmother, whose life sadly ended at age 30, due to a terrible car accident.

A few I even directly resonated with – like the story, “Il Wrestling,” which recounts how Tony and Desolina believed that “every punch, every face smash, every time someone was heaved out of the ring,” in those TV wrestling matches was real. This was exactly the case with my German great grandfather. Vescovi's story took me right back to Grandpa John’s tiny living room in Waterford, Wisconsin, when even as a girl. I knew the wrestling was an act, but watched Grandpa John, who sure thought it was real.

Vescovi organizes the stories by theme, which “represent the essence of who Tony and Desolina were and how they lived.” They range from tales about eating and food, to tales about his grandparents “misunderstanding of all things American,” and stories about his grandparents’ youth seen through visits he and his father made to where Tony and Desolina grew up.

The last section he calls “the beginning of the end.” It takes us to bittersweet stories about the last chapter of Tony and Desolina’s lives and their deaths. These made me look out the bus window and wonder what stories are to come with regard to my own aging parents.

With these well-written short stories, Vescovi weaves tales of loyalty, struggle, humor, misunderstanding, and love throughout. Don’t miss the pictures at the end, and more at the book’s site. There are even a few of Desolina’s recipes to inspire you to cook real deal Italian.

Vescovi says he hopes that his stories will help readers recall reminiscences of our own grandparents and other family members that we can pass down in our own families. As my parents age, these stories inspire me to get down tales from my family, to be sure. But more, I turned the last page filled with the wonderful truth that no life, no person, is ordinary.

Reviewed by Natalee Herrig, Catholic Fiction

The passage of time, cultural influences and gaps in communication among generations slowly erode history so that a truthful, meaningful connection to personal heritage is often blurred or lost completely. In Eat Now; Talk Later, author James Vescovi affirms that the antidote to this phenomenon is the anecdote. Through stories about his paternal grandparents, Italian peasants who immigrated to America in the early 20th century, Vescovi offers a glimpse of his own family identity and history. In so doing, Vescovi sets before us a gift, wrapped in his family tales to be enjoyed with laughter and tears, but which actually contains our own personal stories. In sharing his gift, Vescovi invites us to be entertained by the wrapping, while sparking our curiosity about the treasures we may find if we choose to look inside.

The most endearing quality of Vescovi’s stories is without a doubt the genuine, laugh-while-you-are-reading humor, which he exposes without a trace of ridicule. His grandparents’ antics are funny and heartwarming because they are pure, innocent and the result of depositing two people from another place and time into an environment where innovation, pace and priorities are completely antagonistic and foreign to their very beings. Vescovi’s use of short, colloquial passages, though susceptible to some redundancy, only enhances the emotive quality of the book. Not only do the brief passages genuinely mimic an actual voice amidst a captivated audience where inflection and conviviality add to the humor, but the format also allows tender sentences the time to linger at the end of a story, causing us to pause where words pierce through to warm our souls with imagery of our own personal reflections.

Although a significant amount of Vescovi’s material stems from his father, Selvi, whom he credits as a master storyteller, many of the stories are fruits of Vescovi’s first-hand encounters and experiences with his grandparents. Vescovi often underscores the unique relationship he has with his grandparents, as opposed to their relationship with his father. As Vescovi states, “The newly arrived first-generation wants to distance itself from the old country and the old ways; the second generation, now comfortably American, is curious about the old ways and how they continue to shape identity.” Vescovi’s personal, yet removed, perspective establishes a sense of trust and sincerity, while the buffer of a generation avoids the potential taint of friction from generations too closely intertwined.

Though Vescovi portrays the Catholicity of his idiosyncratic grandparents through the lens of the suspicious and austere Italian peasant class, in one particular image the grace and beauty of the Catholic faith illuminates the entire collection. Vescovi’s personal accounts of his grandparents are mostly the product of his regular weekly visits to their home, first in Hell’s Kitchen and then in Astoria. “These visits,” Vescovi writes, “pleased me immensely because they allowed me a taste of what I hope the afterlife will be: mingling, in one place, of the bodies and spirits of our families, as far back as they go.” This divine image is the catalyst for our own imagination of generations interacting in eternity and serves as the backdrop against which all of Vescovi’s stories animate, despite the absence of devout religious practices in the daily lives of those about whom he writes. A Catholic theme is also evident in the witness of what it truly means to be a parent, grandparent, child and grandchild. Love and honor are defined through the actions of family throughout the book: from the grandfather’s rooftop oversight of his son when he was a boy; to Selvi’s method of convincing his parents at 94 and 93 to relocate to an assisted living facility near his home in Kalamazoo; to Vescovi and his bride’s search for a hidden dress for his grandmother while visiting her hometown during their honeymoon. At the root of all of the humor, heartfelt moments, the challenges of aging, and the unique demands of life for each generation, is a thread of sacrificial love that is woven through time and portrayed by the examples of each of the family members at the various life stages.

Food is also a central theme in the book. It is not a simplistic concept, however; rather, the reference to food is a tangible detail symbolic of the very identity of Vescovi’s grandparents as individuals, his Italian heritage and, on a grander scale, the definition of an historical era. The significance of food and the meal as a keeper of time, a destination, an offering and a truism, replete with the consequent gratitude, respect and reverence, mark our collective timeline as progress reduces food to its nutritional content, packaging, ease of preparation and rapid consumption. Vescovi’s grandmother instinctively realizes that from the annual feast day to the mundane, the sanctity of food and the hallowed experience of a meal are to be honored with silence; simply put: Eat Now; Talk Later.

As I read this book, the phrase “Eat Now; Talk Later” resonated. Although my own paternal grandmother, a Serbian who immigrated to America about the same time as Vesovi’s grandparents, died when I was six years old, through my own recollections, photographs and the stories of my late father and aunts, I have vivid images of my grandmother Olga’s soft, white hair, the thickness of her Serbian stature and her generous, open-armed spirit. She loved through perfectly prepared Serbian foods like sarma and policinka. She taught me the Serbian words for thank you, please, Merry Christmas and Happy Easter. I believe that it was from her that I also learned the Serbian phrase “suti i jedi,” which means “shut up and eat.” For as long as I can remember, this phrase juxtaposed over the image of my grandmother was an anomaly to me. “Shut up and eat,” seemed a harsh admonishment, inconsistent with the memory of my grandmother. It was in reading Eat Now; Talk Later, however, that I had a revelation. Suti i jedi must be the Slavic form of “eat now, talk later.” The Serbian phrase is not a slice of crude slang or a child’s reprimand, but the hallmark of the same ethnic era Vescovi depicts and memorializes through tales of his Italian grandparents.

Storytelling is an age-old method of passing down information from one generation to the next. However, in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world, handing down stories through actual written words is somewhat of a novelty. Vescovi’s stories, especially for descendants of early 20th century immigrants, are a gift that will make you laugh in the moment, and continue to bless you if you unwrap his stories to reveal your own.

Eat Now; Talk Later

Reviewed by Elisa Filarmonico, Italian Insider (Rome)

‘Eat Now; Talk Later’, by James Vescovi is a collection of 52 short stories about feasting and the American Dream that honour his grandparents Tony and Desolina. The biography explores the struggles that the Vescovi’s faced as working class Italian immigrants in the USA during the 1920’s and perfectly portrays Italian culture through typical household events.

The series of tales are light hearted, easy to read and capture Italian spirit through humour and food. Mr. Vescovi sets the tone early with the display of a funny argument between himself and Desolina over a ladle needed to serve the tortellini. After James had brought out the wrong ladle for the second time (despite the fact they were all identical anyway) Desolina teased; “Don’t get married, Jimmy. You’re too stupid… you’re so stupid, you couldn’t find the Hudson from here if you walked west.”

The short stories give an insight into James Vescovi’s childhood by displaying personal family photographs and traditional recipes. They explore the relationship he had with his family, particularly his grandparents, who despite being very normal people, he calls ‘eccentric’ due to their Italian roots.

Mr. Vescovi’s inspiration is said to have come from his father who was a great raconteur. Mr. Vescovi explains that “a lot of the stories his father had in his repertoire were those of his childhood growing up with his parents in Hells Kitchen”-a rough Italian Irish neighbourhood in New York.

In a recent interview conducted with Mr. Vescovi, he claimed that his stories have a “universal quality about them.”

Coming from an Italian background myself, with Neapolitan grandparents who migrated to England during the 1960’s, I was able to relate to Vescovi’s stories, having experienced very similar situations, if not identical ones, during my childhood.

Mr. Vescovi, I believe, perfectly portrays what is commonly known as ‘italianità’ (Italianness) through the stereotypical behaviour of Tony and Desolina. One of the main examples of this is Desolina’s dislike for conversation at the dinner table. The book’s title “Eat Now; Talk Later”, is symbolic of this pet-hate of hers.

However, you do not have to be Italian or have relatives from another country in order to appreciate Mr. Vescovi’s works as every story gives the reader a dynamic understanding of what it is like to have family with a foreign background.

An additional universal factor is the contrast between modern and ‘medieval’ attitudes, which is shown through James’ and his grandparents’ everyday habits. Throughout the bibliography Mr. Vescovi brilliantly depicts his grandparents’ generation with “medieval mind sets” that “went through a time tunnel” and are now “caught in the modern world.”

This underlying theme of “elderly people behind the times” is frequently shown in the stories; ‘Hundreds of new products were being introduced to American consumers every year-but Tony and Desolina were oblivious. They pushed their card down the same old aisles, for the same old pasta, milk, cannellini beans, tuna, Italian bread, apples and bananas.’ Another relevant example would be the sleeping pattern of Tony and Desolina; ‘They had grown up in a peasant-farming village were still creatures of that era: up at sunrise, abed at sunset.’

This funny aspect makes the stories applicable to any audience as every family has an old and traditional member who doesn’t fully understand how the modern world works. Mr. Vescovi also points out the relevance of the stories, claiming that “we can all see ourselves in these stories because we are afraid of change and technology to some extent.”

Reviewed in Italian Heritage Magazine

Hilarious and passionate ironic but respectful, James Vescovi’s stories celebrates the memories of an Italian-American family and its unity. A fascinating story begun when his grandparents emigrated, leaving Italy in 1930; a book for everyone, for those in Italy eager to know more of Italian Americans and for those who in this book can find their roots and laugh, smile and be moved

.

Laugh, cry, eat (but don't talk while eating) with the Vescovi familyReviewed by The Guiltless Reader

With heartwarming humour and an overwhelming love for his family members, James Vescovi tells his family history in 52 vignettes. Hailing from rural Italy, his grandparents immigrated to America and what an interesting clash values-wise, culturally, and technologically it is! Get to know three generations of the Vescovi family, Antonio (Tony) and Desolina, their only son Selvi and his family, and the family of grandson and author, James Vescovi.

Vescovi's little tales brought a smile to my face, but then he has also broken my heart. This book's compilation brings into sharp focus the circle of life: from the young and hopeful Tony and Desolina immigrating to America in search of a better life, establishing and assimilating themselves in a foreign land, growing their family, and the inevitable aging and their passing away. But the journey is filled with the stuff that makes their lives unique: lots of humour, spunky remonstrances from Desolina, a get-it-done attitude from industrious Tony, mad money floating around the house, oh, and lots of good food and eating!

This is an excellent memoir that many people will undoubtedly see themselves in, in some way, in the people or the circumstances described. Obviously, the immigrant experience is a highlight of this book. However, it also shows us the challenges of aging parents and how families cope to provide the care and support. But what struck me most were the values that the Vescovi family hold dear: hard work, honesty, familial love, and valuing their Italian roots.

The stories are short and sometimes without resolution. But such is life - sometimes things just are.

Vescovi has an engaging way of telling his stories. This book felt intimate, like sitting down with him for a visit -- all I needed was some limoncello (ok, maybe some coffee) with my book! The photos also lent an air of flipping through an old photo album -- everything felt real because I could imagine each of the Vescovis in my mind's eye. While Vescovi argues that his family lives "quiet, anonymous lives," this memoir has shown what special people they are.

A special treat is how the Vescovis have compiled some of their family's recipes at the back of the book, a testament to how they value their food and the memories surrounding eating. After all, that's where the title came from!I loved this memoir! This is special -- read it! It will make you realize just how precious our family members are, with all their quirks and their faults. It will make you realize how fleeting and forgetful we can be of our family histories if we fail to capture the stories told orally.

I highly recommend this memoir to anyone who has an interest in family histories and of documenting them. With three generations documented here, this has a multi-generational appeal.

A GRANDSON'S TRIBUTE

by Leslie L. McKee, RT Books Reviews Magazine

This book is a compilation of short stories pertaining to the authors' parents and grandparents (Antonio and Deoslina), originally from Italy. It shows the old world grandparents in New York, having taken a leap of faith in search of a better life, with an Americanized son who tries to bridge the generational gaps.

There are a number of humorous scenes, including when Antonio and Desolina are introduced to modern conveniences, such as the television, refrigerator, and answering machine. Food is a large part of their life and each of these stories. The reader will find themselves laughing along with the stories.

This is a memoir that is obviously filled with love and loyalty. Some pictures are also included. The book is divided into five categories, which make sense, but for some of the stories a chronological order may have been helpful. It also includes a few recipes at the end.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.