Fidget toys

Fidget Toys

– A Saga in (Not?) Destroying a Generation –

In the beginning, there was nothing, then there was things, then there was earth, then there was children.

Now we are constantly at war.

But there is salvation at last, we can finally sedate our children without drugs, or worry of advanced propaganda techniques coming through our television and computer screens.

That salvation is fidget toys.

Chapter 1 : How kids were dealt with before Fidget Toys

Can you tell me something about fidget toys before these offensive videos make me leave

Sure, fidget toys are also popularly known as desk toys. The reason for this is people often become restless and distracted while working at their desk. The idea is that a fidget toy acts as a restless energy device for the person, allowing them to release some of that built up restless energy and concentrate on their work more efficiently.

A lot of fidget toys suck shit. But there are also a lot of cool ones.

1. Fidget Spinner

Kids everywhere have these things, they are all over schools, in every goddamn backpack. But not all new things have to be bad.

Old fidget toys

Fidget Spinners are the first fidget toy of the future to reach cult status. Their simplicity, size, and addicting “pull” feeling when rotating the fidget spinner in your hands, balance, and/or trying to throw it and catch it again still spinning are all tremendously addicting.

Fidget Spinner tricks performed by grown men

There are a lot of nuances and subtleties in fidget spinners, and as ridiculous as it is to hear, it’s true. Our office one has Stimpy on it.

-Stimpy-

2. Fidget Cube

The Fidget Cube is the second most popular modern fidget toy there currently is. While definitely still easy to fidget with, they are not as skill based as the fidget spinners are (or the upcoming Begleri). Nonetheless fidget cubes are a blast for how simple they are.

Begleri or thumb chucks are probably the most skill based fidget toy there is right now. It’s a fidget toy that happens to build a great deal of spatial dexterity. With the amount of tricks you can perform and create, as well as how easily it fits in your pocket or on your desk, it’s an easy go to fidget toy.

4. Fidget Controller

The Fidget Controller, for those who prefer more a controller style fidget toy over a fidget cube. Many people are fans of this one due to both its ergonomics as well as how well it fits in the pants pocket compared to the classic fidget cube.