Thursday, February 5, 2009

It's been a difficult couple of days, but I woke up this morning feeling a little better and ready to get back to normal.

I suspect that this feeling may have been partially brought on by my decision to give myself a break from the money stuff for a month. The problem I was facing was that I have a few extra expenses coming up and I won't be able to cover them on my current budget. This isn't a problem as such, because I can just keep my next pay-cheque here in Japan instead of sending it home to save. However, I had gotten it into my head that I absolutely had to save it and was freaking myself out quite a bit. I do need to save in the long term, but I don't have to squeeze my pennies quite so hard now that my debts are gone. I haven't quite been able to switch my brain off that track though, leading to me having a bit of a panic attack about it before realising that I needed to calm the fuck down and take a breather, so when I get paid on the 20th my money will stay with me. I'll have a much easier month, and then get back to it again with my April pay.

I really hadn't realised how much it was stressing me out until I told myself I didn't have to do it. Things look much better now, I feel like there is enough air in the room again.

I'm clamping back down on food again too. It hasn't quite been two weeks, but I'm thinking of moving on to phase 2 of SB. I was having a bit of trouble meeting my calories the last week or so, and I would like the freedom it gives me. If that freedom translates into a free-for-all with my food I will rethink it and go back.

I was checking amazon.co.jp recently and found that the foreign buyer's club (an online site you can order food from) is shipping through them now! Which means I can buy all the healthy alternatives not available here like wholegrain breads, natural peanut butter, and cooking spray! (I'm so sick of oil dudes). It also means a load of unhealthy alternatives are now available to me too, so I'll have to be careful, but I'm really excited, and I think I know where some of my extra cash will be going.

On top of that I've had a really productive day I feel. I've marked two classes worth of notebooks, taught a class, and made up a worksheet for the next essay project. The sun is shining outside, and even though the air is still cold, it's noticeably warmer today than yesterday. The weather won't last long so I'm going to enjoy my walk home while I can. My supervisor left early today so there is a chance I may be able to sneak out early too, and I feel generally like life is good.