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Month: April 2012

I kind of feel the same way about New Jersey as I feel about 50 Shades of Grey: offended, yet intrigued, and perhaps slightly aroused. No, seriously,New Jersey is really quite beautiful. It has a humble charm and oh hey affordable housing! Behold, the nightmare-inducing moving statue display! Quoth the[…]

Mornings! There are two types of mornings in this house. There are the mornings when I wake up early and have nothing on the docket for the day: Like the other day, when I woke up, watched RuPaul’s Drag Race, ate a burrito, then went back to bed for a[…]

I believe in recycling…always. I believe everyone has the right to the very best help we can provide. I believe in taking pictures because they last longer. I believe life is worth living for. I believe laughter helps. I believe we all have the ability to change the world for[…]

At the end of this week, I will (hopefully) be giving ghost tours in Hell’s Kitchen! Which meant that today, on the hottest day of the ever EVERS, I practiced walking the route IN THE HOT. And came across this: Fitting, no? Although I’m pretty sure the creature terrorizing the[…]

It’s been more than a year since I was last in Forest Hills! More than a year since I last lived in the house above, and boy has it changed. New stoop, new roof, no bushes out front. From the outside, it was unrecognizable. Which made me really sad. The[…]

Tonight, I’ll be giving a ghost tour. Yes, I enjoy the paranormal, the bloody, the serial killers! It’s always funny to see people’s reactions when I tell them about this strange passion of mine, but the response I have in my mind is, why doesn’t this interest you? Death is[…]

Much like the time I watched a 16-wheeler get stuck under an underpass, Bridalplasty is just one of those things you know you shouldn’t watch but you just can’t help staring at and talking about. Everything about this show is repulsive and demeaning. It preys on women’s personal insecurities while[…]

Call me wicked, call me wasteful, tell me I’m lazy and self-indulgent, but I refuse – REFUSE – to feel guilty about enjoying my life. If like has a purpose, what is it? Is death like an audit – having to account for and justify every moment spent, every dollar? […]

A lot of people my age (and even younger) have been having a lot of babies lately. Litters of them, if Facebook is any indication! Which is completely befuddling to me because I can’t even imagine being adult enough to care for a human being, much less a human being[…]

I believe in trying everything once. I believe you should do things that scare you (a little). You never know what you might like! Yesterday, I had a fresh lobster at Chelsea Market! I couldn’t take pictures while eating because hello, hot melted butter on my iPhone? Terrible idea. I’ve[…]

Last night’s dream found me in a dismal post-apocalyptic world. We, the lucky survivors, were forced to live in dreary, primitive bunkers. Safe and provided for, but my soul was unhappy. Finally, I was able to voice my displeasure: “I miss clothes! I miss color! I just want to dance!”[…]

DOWNTOWN! …if Petula Clark is to be believed. You can take silly pictures on the train platform! …but people will look at you like you’re crazy or worse, a tourist… You look prettiest when you’re happy! …and in low-level fluorescent lighting with a series of Instagram filters… You can buy[…]

“There are two reasons I don’t drink from the toilet anymore: Number One, and Number Two.” “I can’t stand sitting and I can’t sit standing.” “I have good news and bad news for you.” “What is it, doctor?” “The bad news is, you have three months to live.” “What’s the[…]

Well, I feel pretty April Fooled. Trying to buy a single roll of toilet paper (!) at Duane Reade, my card was declined. Twice. And the guy looks at me like I’m insane, not having the 99 cents for toilet paper. Uh, turns out my debit card expired. April Fool’s![…]

My grandfather was not known to be an affectionate man. He worked a dangerous job, building the electrical plant in Niagara Falls, taking treacherous buses down steep hills into the Niagara River to build and supply power to the whole region. He was proud, and self-assured, but a romantic he[…]