Reality show discussion.

Oh my GOD. Did you *see* the American Idol results recap at TWoP? I know the show was short on content (despite taking up an hour), but the guy spends most of his 3 pages on this deep psychoanalysis of American attitudes and traditions with respect to music and/or homosexuality, and it is just the weirdest thing ever. It's like he took some old paper he wrote for college and inserted random sentences of recap into it. I like the deep analysis on Doctor Who, because it has a place there. But this! You cannot dissect AMERICAN IDOL like that. At least not in this kind of venue.

'Suvivor: Episode 5

The mixing of the tribes is interesting. On the one hand, now Cirie and Jonathon don't have to be at one another's throats. I got to snicker, much like Jason, when Joel's previous voting stupidity got him stuck on the same team as Chet. I am also free to root for the ousting of James and Parvati without taking Amanda and Ozzy down with them. On the other hand, apparently Erik is suddenly the odd man out over there, which does not please me at all.

Also, I can't help feeling bad for Jonathan, who looked ready to tear his hair out when he still got stuck with Parvati (whom Jason, thanks to Jeff's weeks of butchering, also thinks is named Poverty. I fell out of my chair laughing when she yelled the correction). Both the couples should count themselves lucky that, while no longer a foursome, at least their individual couples got to stay together.

And speaking of the couples...oh dear God, I think I kind of...don't mind Amanda and Ozzy anymore? And possibly think they're cute? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I think it's a combination of no longer having to endure footage of them making out (once was enough to give us the picture, apparently, which: thank God), and the fact that Amanda caught a shark, which had Ozzy practically glowing. It was kind of endearing. Or something. I don't know how to articulate it; all of a sudden they're weirdly perfect for each other. So. Yes.

Speaking of people I like, Jonathan stumbling right after he got picked, prompting him to grin "You sure?", was great. Yes, Alexis is still sure, and I am suddenly, shockingly, sure that Jonathon is easily one of my favorite players in the game. I have no idea how this happened. Suddenly I can't get enough. I'm also convinced, although I can't point to any specific reason why, that he and Alexis are heading for an alliance. I think she's smart enough to recognize what an asset he can be, and I think he's noticed that she has a good combination of challenge-asset and social skills...at least more so than a lot of the people on the sadly failing former Fans tribe. I think they could (or at least should) strike up a cute little friendship. Possibly I am concocting an entire story to satisfy my particular whims of favorites, but they did make a fantastic pair in the reward challenge.

How cruel was that challenge, anyway? I think more than half the people got injured in some way, and while at first I was kind of snickering at Chet being completely useless...it ended immediately when he got his head smacked into a pole. It looked like a pretty solid, painful connection. What little remained of Hell Minute looked like plain abuse between the yelling and the dragging. It was a lot like watching a poor, submissive little dog get jerked around on a choke chain by some pissed-off owner. Quite possibly the most nauseating part of the entire episode, including Jonathan's impaled knee.

I'm kind of proud of myself for watching the entire stitching session without looking away once. Granted, the fact that it was just an open wound and no longer actively bleeding probably helped with that, but I think that's the first time I've been able to look at a serious Survivor injury...albeit while wincing and gritting my teeth, considering how painful the giant needle looked, and I think it's very admirable that he was able to refrain from cursing, because I certainly would have been. It was more than vaguely disturbing to see the giant gap in skin literally sewn together, though. Here's hoping like hell that he doesn't wind up with an infection that boots him early.

On the subject of chicken killing...you know, I really don't want to think about poor Charlie, and I also don't want to think about how maybe-doomed the hens are, given the ominous comment about "no eggs yet" (hopefully as long as Ozzy is around to play master fisherman, they won't have to?). Certainly gave me an unpleasant twinge to see Chet wander over to see them, given his animal-rescuing propensities. I know he mentioned raising chickens, but I am not convinced that his version of raising includes killing.

I can't decide how I feel about Chet. Certainly I would like him to go 3 weeks ago, because entertaining TV he does not make. And he's terrible at everything (although one poster commented that part of this might be a reaction to how everyone treats him - they keep saying he's worthless and yelling at him, so why bother anymore?). But I also don't feel the same rage-induced hate that so many other people seem to, because I think he's basically a very nice person. Just not for this show. I can't figure out why he applied in the first place, but I'm desperately beginning to wish he hadn't. I just want the embarrassment to stop.

So, while I laughed hysterically when Joel glowered at the camera and grumped about "maybe this is poetic justice" (THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS, YOU BLOCKHEAD), I...completely cannot believe that Chet escaped elimination AGAIN. I have no problem losing Scary Joel, whose repeated references to killing people were becoming more than a little disturbing - he will be taking anger management classes, yes? - but...I do not like this power play Cirie is making.

About as fast as Jonathon stole my favor, you see, Cirie is losing it. I don't like the way she smirks as she somehow hypnotizes everyone (except Erik! WOE) into following her decisions. It's not even her so much as the fact that Unpleasant Tracy - on whom I always expect to see curved fangs when she smiles - is continuing to manipulate control of everything. I don't want her to succeed. And if that's who Cirie's aligning, with, well...I see her logic, as far as self-preservation, but I don't have to like it.

That's the amusing thing: she actually made a good point about being able to control Chet's vote but not Joel's - they could have removed Chet and improved their chances of not losing, but if they had lost anyway, then he'd be...

*pause* Damn it! She manipulated me from the other side of the screen! Joel would still focus on "eliminate the weakest player," and that player woudl be Cirie, and Ozzy therefore should have had no problem with that - they clearly do not have a solid alliance; I think Ozzy wouldn't have minded switching her for someone else, even if that someone is Joel. And then they'd have solid majority with Erik, and things would be rosy. And Joel might not have been an asset in (m)any of the challenges thus far, but hasn't Chet been a much bigger liability? If the next challenge is physical, they'll be stuck competing with him AND Airai will be able to sit out their weakest player. (who admittedly will probably be Injured Jonathan rather than Kathy, but still).

Forgot to mention the immunity challenge - throwing stuff to break stuff is always one of my favorite activities. Two thumbs up. I want to play a challenge like that so much I'm tempted to create my own version. And as a whole, I love New Airai best, so I'm glad that they won despite falling behind and having to break two significantly more difficult targets. And I love that Eliza was as instrumental in this challenge as the one before, despite having been last pick from the Fans. I am loving Eliza a lot. (Bland Ami, not so much)

-"They're a bunch of dingbats!" Hey, I kind of remember why I used to like James.

Eliza: You sleep on the beach? With these things jumping all over you?

Alexis: Yeah. It's pretty gross.

Me: I don't know what those things are, but they look like SAND GRASSHOPPERS OMG NIGHTMARE. This is why I could never even consider being on Survivor. Even if I had any physical skills whatsoever, which I do not, the bug situation would have me screaming and begging to be taken home within about three hours of landing on the beach.

-Ozzy spearing fish is always such a glorious thing to watch. Love it. I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR ENJOYING GRUESOME FISH DEATH.

Next week looks to be varying types of awful. Even if Jonathan doesn’t leave, Jason gleeing over finding Ozzy’s peeled stick of an Idol is going to be too embarrassing for words.