Relationships. Partnerships & Everything Else in Between

Hi, I’m Don Macmillan. I’m a dating coach. My specialty is helping intelligent, determined professional women learn how to understand men. I just want to help them find the relationships they deserve. I’m surprised on a daily basis by the fact that I make a living by giving women dating advice!

I had to make years of my own dating mistakes before I finally figured out how to have a genuine relationship. Now, relationships have become my passion. While the statement “The road to success is paved with failure” sounds like a pithy old adage, it’s something I steadfastly and unwaveringly believe in. Since I failed so often but finally found my way, I feel qualified in a unique way to help women form genuine relationships with men and find success in love.

I never saw myself as a “playboy.” Though I dated often, it was because I wanted to find true love. But after year after year of seeking without finding, I was forced to face the fact that something I was doing wasn’t working.

Then I met a woman who was not at all like the other women I’d been dating. We were opposites in nearly every way. We were definitely not an obvious fit.

But every time I considered finding someone else who was more like me, I realized I’d never experienced a relationship like ours before. It was uncomplicated, more satisfying and more fulfilling than any other relationship I’d ever been in. Despite our differences, I’d found the most important thing in the world: a partner with whom I shared a genuine connection.

My desire to be a relationship coach grew out of my appreciation for my genuine connection. Before I found it, I experienced the same frustrations as my clients. This allows me to feel deep empathy and respect for them. I don’t hand my advice down from an elevated self-righteous pedestal. I give it from my experience, and I give it carefully and honestly.

Nearly all self-help books are written for women. I wish more men wanted to grow and to change, and had a desire to understand women. But most of them don’t. I find this disappointing. That’s why I’m a dating coach for women.

If men aren’t going to work at understanding women, then the only thing women can do is work to understand them.

I strive to help women understand men’s perspectives on dating and relationships. I really want women to know how to spot the characteristics of good men, and how to steer clear of the bad ones.

Why Is It Up To Women To Change?

Have you noticed that men generally behave selfishly? No matter how unjust and infuriating this is, and no matter what men say, it’s the way men have always have acted, and it’s the way they will continue to act.

The question facing women becomes, what can women do to overcome men’s selfishness?

I’m here to help women find answers. I want them to understand what men are thinking, why men do what they do, and what women should expect when dating men. Since I can’t make men call, commit, or change, all I can do is help women identify the objectionable ones, and how to draw the interest of the good ones and hang on to them.

If you’re open to this, you’ll find it easy and enjoyable to accept my advice. If you’re not, you’re probably being misled in one of these two ways.

It’s not fair to expect women to change, because men are the problem.

Let me make myself clear here. I’m not advising you to stay with someone who’s been unfaithful to you. I’m not counseling you to put up with a man who is mistreating or abusing you. I’m not telling you to date a man who’s made it clear to you that he never wants to get married.

What I am saying is that if a man is abusive, immature, or a cheater, you should leave him. Complaining that men don’t act in a way that doesn’t meet your expectations is as futile as wishing you could fly.

My advice is based on controlling yourself, because you can. It’s not based on controlling men, because you can’t.

I can’t find someone good enough for me to marry.

You may be thinking, “I don’t date awful men. But I just can’t find one I like enough to marry. Why do you make it sound like I’m wrong?”

I am not saying that you’re wrong, or that there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Single people can lead a joyful, satisfying lives. I’ve observed many women who want to find love, but don’t go on enough dates. That’s why I recommend online dating, among other ways to meet men. The dating process is not perfect. But it offers you more opportunities to meet single men than any of the other activities in your life.

Once you come to agree to change yourself instead of trying to change men, and you realize you need to date more, you’ll find this advice helpful.

If you understand men, you’ll find it’s easier to connect with them. But if your standards are too high, you’ll find fewer men you consider “qualified” to date you. This will force you to go on more dates than someone who is more open to considering a greater percentage of men. This in turn will force you to take more time and spend more effort to go on more dates.

Compromises are a necessary component of every relationship. When dating, it’s helpful to know which traits you find acceptable in a man, and which traits you don’t. Most people won’t compromise on things like age, appearance, education, income, and religion. But they would compromise on things like communication, personality, and commitment.

Compromising does not mean you have to settle, to give up on your dreams, or tolerate mistreatment. If you find a trait you can’t accept in a man, leave him. You can’t change him.

But if you find a way to find fault in every man, may remain single forever. If you realize you’d rather be alone than make compromises, that’s just fine. It’s a realization you’ve come to in a mature and systematic way.

In Conclusion

I’ve observed how the world works. I offer women my counsel based on these observances. That’s why I consider myself to be a reality-based dating coach. I don’t talk tough, and I’m not trying to prove myself. I don’t spout my opinions about how I think the world ought to work.

If you’d rather hear dating tips from a fictional world where men always do what they said they’d do, where they don’t judge based on appearances or age, and where you’re never left wondering where you stand, you’re going to be disappointed with my counsel. You’re probably also disappointed with life, because it constantly frustrates you as it refuses to comply with your fantasies.

I’m a dating coach who believes that knowledge is power. I know that once you come to an understanding of the realities of the dating world and what men are really like, you’ll be able to propel your relationships to new heights. This will not happen because you’ve suddenly acquired the power to control men. It will happen because you’ve learned to accept men in the way you yourself want to be accepted.