Controversial Kink Series: Caretaker Dominants, Littles, and Age Play

A relatively new subtype for dominants and submissives is that encompassed within the parameters of the “caretaker and little” dynamic. The dynamic itself is not new, but the terminology is somewhat. Not all caretaker dominants seek out littles, and not all littles form relationships with caretakers, and not all of these dynamics include any elements of age play, but it is “normal” for a caretaker/little pairing. Unfortunately, because of the titles used and the manner in which the submissives often behave, there is frequently quite a bit of misunderstanding involved. These are some areas of BDSM/kink that are often abused by people seeking to engage in fantasies that we do not permit on Cuff-Link, nor are they acceptable in most realms across society, including BDSM and kink communities.

The Types:

Caretakers: These dominants generally are called “Daddy” or “Mommy” by their submissives. These dominants, while they may also be sadists, generally lean toward guidance and discipline in a manner that is seemingly less harsh and more indulgent. Their focus will tend toward guiding and disciplining their submissive in a way that is more tailored to the submissive’s personality. Age play will usually be factor in a caretaker/little pairing, but it is not a requirement. In instances where someone exhibits caretaker tendencies, but does not engage in age play, they are not always seen as this type of dominant nor will they always be called Daddy or Mommy. An impression may be given that these dominants tend to be more “soft” than other dominant subtypes, but this is frequently a misconception.

Littles: These submissives tend toward some form of age regression. For the purpose of this post, those ages can range anywhere from infantile behaviour to late teens, but a number must never be assigned to describe the behaviour on Cuff-Link. There are submissives who are littles all the time and others who only engage in this behaviour now and then. Some will engage in things like baby talk and enjoy diaper play. Others tend toward innocent adolescence. Some are child-like with their world view, others exhibit brat-like behaviour. Some engage in age regression aspect in terms of mannerisms, speech, and using props such as bottles or sippy cups. Others simply want to be coddled and guided.

Age Play: This is where one or both parties assume an age that is different than their own. This age can be older or younger. In the case of littles, it’s almost always going to be younger. Some caretaker dominants like to assume an age that is older than what they actually are. Age play will frequently use props and changes in behaviour or mannerisms.

The Misconceptions:

Age play – Littles and other age players are interested in adopting behaviour and mannerisms of people who are a different age than their actual age. They will use items, clothing, speech patterns, and activities to that end. Littles will almost always be engaged in some form of age regression, but age players have been known to explore any imaginable age. Age playing is not meant as a tool of paedophilia, and specifically in terms of Cuff-Link, no one must ever state that they are younger than 18 or playing as a specific age under 18. Everyone already knows which activities society has lumped into acceptable for certain age groups, but not for “responsible adults”.

A couple of examples: Sitting cross-legged on the floor in a pair of ruffly panties and nothing else while building something out of LEGO is not an age-specific activity, but it can certainly be something that societies across the globe will generally say that adults aren’t supposed to do. Anything that is deemed an activity that is not reasonable for a full-grown, independent adult to engage in without the excuse of “entertaining the children” is generally something that an age player may engage in. The “school girl” kink also falls under this. Use these activities, modes of dress, and whatever else to indicate what you’re after and not a number or any reference like “summer camp” or “high school” which indicates specific age ranges that a number can easily be attached to.

Incest and Paedophilia – Caretaker dominants will usually be called “Daddy” or “Mommy”. Littles will often be referred to as “babygirl” or “babyboy”. In reference to BDSM/kink lifestyles, these titles are not intended in an incestuous manner nor are they intended to facilitate underage scenarios. They are merely the closest thing everyone knows to accurately describe the level of care and type of attention given to them. The community has always enjoyed adopting terms and using them irreverently while capturing the essence of something. This is one of those cases.

These terms are not something that everyone is comfortable with, and unfortunately, some use this subtype as a means to engage in incest/familial fantasies. We do not permit this, and while we know the usual reason is, “It’s just role play. These people aren’t my actual relatives.” We have no way of knowing if you’re accidentally or purposefully engaging in textual role play with a relative, and if the latter, it’s still incest and still very illegal despite it just being text. It’s also not okay for people to pose as littles or Caretakers as a means to facilitate paedophilia fantasies.