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Topic: Torn on what to do...update page 5 (Read 20083 times)

... Her real motive, I think, was to try to get financial compensation for her "ruined" junk, because that is the kind of thing she does, according to everyone else in the small community. ...

Maybe.

But it's also possible that she hoped to establish that she "lived" there because after all, don't you see, she had lots of her stuff there!

If she thought your father was either senile or possibly in extremely poor health, I suspect she was hoping for something a little more than replacement value of 'ruined' stuff. I think she initially thought that ultimately she might end up 'inheriting' the house! (As you might suspect, I once knew of a similar situation.)

Despite the fact this person doesn't really seem to care about it, given the time frame it has sat at your house, it is still a very sentimental thing.

The fact that the owner "doesn't really seem to care about it" indicates that it is not in fact sentimental at all, let alone very.

That's all me. The wedding dress is expensive, sentimental, possible heirloom. Obviously the dress owner doesn't seem to care, but for my own peace of mind, I would want to make sure I did everything in my power to make sure she got the dress back or knew it going to be disposed of because I place such a value on the dress myself. This way, when/if Dress Girl comes back for it, I wouldn't feel nearly as bad for giving it away, KWIM?

At this point, you have taken every reasonable step to return the dress to its owner. If she does not respond within the 30 days, you should be able to dispose of it any way you please.

If anyone from the "Worse Crime Ever" crowd gives you a hard time about disposing of the dress after the 30 days, remind them that the former friend cut you off. Tell them that your options are limited because she wants no contact from you. You are concerned that she might feel that you are harassing her, if you send her any additional correspondence after the thirty-day period. Besides, you really don't want to have reminders of her after she cut you off. Tell them the dress reminds you of her and it is better for you emotionally if you no longer have the dress.

To my total shock, I heard from former friend today! She does want the dress and offered several solutions for her to come pick it up, one of which was for me to hang it on my front porch and she will pick it up during the day tomorrow. I wrote back and told her I would be available today, otherwise her picking it up tomorrow will work. I'll hang the dress between my screen door and front door, to provide a little protection for it. So there we go. Hopefully as of tomorrow night, it will be out of my hands, and she can go back to pretending I don't exist - a win for all!

I'm very glad for you, LadySnowdon. I can tell you have a kind heart and were dreading the possibility of disposing of the dress in a way other than returning it to its owner - I just hope former friend shows up tomorrow to get the dress!

I think you're well rid of her, and, hopefully, her dress. You deserve so much better than the way she has treated you, and after you stood up for her at her wedding!

To my total shock, I heard from former friend today! She does want the dress and offered several solutions for her to come pick it up, one of which was for me to hang it on my front porch and she will pick it up during the day tomorrow. I wrote back and told her I would be available today, otherwise her picking it up tomorrow will work. I'll hang the dress between my screen door and front door, to provide a little protection for it. So there we go. Hopefully as of tomorrow night, it will be out of my hands, and she can go back to pretending I don't exist - a win for all!

You'll have to let us know if she actually shows up to claim it!

Logged

What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

personally, I applaud you for hanging onto it this long! I would've trashed it soon after she stopped talking to me, especially on the grounds of "it can't be that sentimental if she left it here for so long!"