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DO PEOPLE ONLY LIKE ME NOW THAT I’M PRETTY?

Hey Brandon,
This past year, I’ve changed a lot. I used to wear glasses, but now I don’t. I’m wearing makeup, and I’ve lost weight. Before, nobody would ever notice me. But now, I’m popular. And all of a sudden, my crush actually wants to hang out with me! That’s great, but it disappoints me that all of this is only happening because of my looks. Should I go back to the old me?

Pretty, Popular And Puzzled

Hey Pretty, Popular And Puzzled,

Wow, this is tough. I mean, I think the first thing to keep in mind is that you are the same you, no matter how you look. Like, you didn’t become a different person inside when your appearance changed, right? So there’s no “going back to the old you.”

But this is a tough situation. Because I bet it feels nice to be popular, get noticed and have your crush want to hang out with you. But…then you wonder if people like you for who you really are, or if it’s just about how you look.

I don’t think you should assume people only like you because of your looks. I think it’s fair to say that people have noticed you because of your new appearance, and now that they’ve noticed you, they realize how cool you are. They SHOULD have realized that before, 100%. But it’s kind of the way things are? And until they change…I kind of think there’s no reason you should be lonely and unnoticed because society has strange standards of beauty.

BUT, you don’t want to have shallow friendships, either.

The main thing, I think, is that you shouldn’t change anything about how you look OR how you act based on what you think other people want. So you’re totally right – it stinks if people are only treating you well now because your appearance has changed. But if you like how you look now, you shouldn’t change it based on other’s people’s response.

On the other hand, if you changed your appearance so people would notice you, and now it feels icky, definitely go back to however you’re most comfortable. For example, if makeup isn’t really your thing, stop wearing it and go natural. Or, if you like wearing glasses, just wear them. But, if you’re more comfortable with the makeup on and glasses off, don’t be ashamed of it. Own it!

You just might need to be careful with new friendships and only put your energy into friends who clearly enjoy you for who you are, and not for your appearance.

And because you know what it’s like to be ignored because of how you look, you might go out of your way to notice and be nice to everyone. And when people see you being friendly, maybe they’ll be friendly too.

So yeah, I think you should keep your appearance however YOU feel most comfortable, and don’t ASSUME people only like you because of your appearance. Just make sure you’re making REAL friends. And use your powers for good! 🙂

Have you ever been treated differently because of a change in your appearance? How did you handle it? Tell us in the comments!

I never changed my looks, but I left school for homeschool for one year. I was the most popular girl in my school, but when I came back, my friend since kindergarten didn’t even acknowledge me. I’m in seventh grade now, and I felt lonely after that. Also my two best friends moved. Everyone acted like I was invisible. But then, someone named Ethan shouted, “Welcome Back Abigail!!!” and Meghan and Caleb (all my friends now etc.) were all happy to see me back. I never considered them a friend, but now, I realize I should’ve all along.

I have same prob, but I let myself shine, and asked “hey, did you ever liked me with my normal features?” They would stay quiet and in shame, but the friends I had when I was normal I stuck to, because the know me better!
And if you had no friends, find one, I KNOW some one can like you for the nice girl you are!!!!!!!

Hey, guys! Having trouble talking to the girl you like? And girls, do you ever wonder what boys are really thinking? I’ve got you covered! I’m here to give you honest advice from a dude’s point-of-view. Understanding the opposite gender doesn’t have to be as hard as Honors Calculous. As a guy, I’ve learned a thing or two about girls just by hanging out with my friend, Nikki. So, go ahead! Tell me what’s on your mind!
I’ll answer a question each week and post one of the cool pics I’ve personally taken of the kids at my school.