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July 12, 2017

Teenage stress is on the rise according to some in the school business. Here at mid-summer, we invite you to pause and consider some things from our perspective. As an example of teenage angst, here's the highlights of a recent discussion according to Michel Lafrance, school headmaster of West Island College in Montreal, Canada:

1.Teens are often overwhelmed by the magnitude of scheduled activities in their lives. This includes school work, sports practices and competitions, artistic endeavours, learning a new language, tutoring, academic enrichment, religious commitments, family events and so on.

2. Social media is consuming their lives through constant Snapchats, Instagram posts, likes, comments, the perceived necessity for selfie after selfie after selfie in order to get the “right” one that is worthy of being posted. Their online identity is sometimes cared for and valued more than their real personality. Online friends are more coveted than real friends. Relationships are becoming more superficial and artificial whether with friends or family members.

4. Teenagers, through much of these external factors, are not well equipped to deal with the pressures that they face today. The stress that they are feeling is being manifested as anxiety and depression instead of being confronted by positive decision-making and perseverance.

5. The ability to manage the stress via executive functioning skills such as critical thinking, self-regulation, impulse control, organization and planning and prioritizing is often non-existent in teens.

6. The cycle of stress, anxiety, and self-doubt creates a vicious circle that most teens have difficulty extracting themselves from.

In our opinion from our unique vantage point working with adolescent boys at the Hull Lower School, even some perspectives as parents ourselves, there's a lot of truth to Lafrance's comments. Think about what he's saying. Talk about it with your families, obviously with your children, and observe what the kids say. You know your children, and your suspicions of what is both said and unsaid are probably spot-on.

Our brief responses to the six points presented above, for what it's worth:

Teens being "overwhelmed by the magnitude of scheduled activities:" If that conclusion is reached, that's on the parents. No student resides at school or is reported on April 15 to the IRS as a dependent on the school/religious organization/team/club's annual filing. The child is a minor, and his quality of life is the primary responsibility of the parents. If, in your estimation, your child is over-scheduled, please help him make a priority list in accordance with the family priorities. Not everything is a priority. Kids need to learn that. Some parents need to learn this as well. It's not always an easy exercise as there are often numerous options for these kids, but they simply cannot do everything that they want to without feeling overwhelmed, parents included.

Social media and online realities: Parents pay the bills for smart phones and electronic devices/services that deliver the new media platforms to their children. We wish parents would Wait Until 8th, but these aren't our children. There is no need for a smart phone and its associated popular apps for the MUS mission to be fulfilled in the lives our students. More, the unintended consequences of social media often distract from life at school. In other words, the new media is often invasive, counter productive, and can result in a huge waste of time. Be forewarned.

Personal time for teens: Amen. Slow down, everybody. See #1 and #2. In order to encourage "opportunities for relaxation, enjoying calm and peace, introspection and reflection, face to face conversations, shared experiences and relationship building," the MUS Lower School does not allow smart phone access during school hours. For the same reasons, we don't allow the boys to wear an Apple Watch.

Teens not being well-equipped to handle today's pressures: As for our students, we disagree. Our qualified applicants who enroll at MUS were raised/are continuing to be raised by serious parents and grandparents/coaches/mentors who require accountability through the forging of personal character, corporate citizenship. More, schools inherit what happens in the home, and we inherit boys of strong moral character who take instruction well, who can prioritize responsibilities, and who therefore have capacity to deal with today's pressures, under adult guidance where necessary. These boys are not expected to act as adults, but they are expected to be coachable, to learn how not to procrastinate, to work on delayed gratification. The pressure dissipates when boys plan and take responsibility for their lives.

Personal management: Ah, great segue! Here's where families and students, especially, get their bang for their buck. MUS strives to be both fair and reasonable with our youngsters' self management by holding the entire community to a functioning Honor Code and Community Creed. This year, we plan on Lower School students crafting their own Community Creed in response to the prevailing school code and creed as a way to personalize their investment and to enhance school spirit. Our youngest students are entirely capable of demonstrating the personal management MUS historically requires. It may require a few corrective measures (demerit, homework detention, Friday Night School), but the boys will arrive there soon enough. Ask the alumni.

Cycle of stress difficult to escape: If left unchecked, yes. However, our students have enough priorities to occupy their time positively before the popular culture sucks them down into the digital abyss. Right now, mid-July, Summer math and reading requirements should be in full swing. After that, the trash needs to be taken out, the cars washed, the grass cut, the fence painted, the dog bathed, rooms organized, grandparents visited, volunteer hours served, getting in shape for the up-and-coming athletic season, piano practice...yes, all of these are human priorities for a well-developed youngster. Want to stop the cycle of stress? Put the children to task. Help someone in need. They will be better for it, happier, appreciative, more resilient, and ultimately more prepared for their futures that demand academic excellence, cultivation of service and leadership, all supported by the development of strong moral character.

February 25, 2017

This time of year, we have a large number of boys who are working through some accumulated less-than-optimal habits. They are mistakenly thinking that they are working hard to succeed/hoping not to get in trouble all the while gaining the sober realization that unless they change the habits that are not working for them, they will receive the same disappointing results. It's a tough, existential trip for some!

Middle school at MUS is both a fair and reasonable experience for mission-appropriate boys, and a coordinated, functional small army of support engages them toward the general trend of their own personal success. Each boy has his own journey, his own DNA, his own home life, and his own willingness either to trust the system or to resist the system. It's a process. Change occurs over many moons when years of patterns require adjustment. Timelines for success vary. However, adult patience, wisdom, attention, accountability, and love serve them to discover the better angels of their natures. Even Homework Detention helps. However, blowing off Homework Detention does not. Smartphones can also distract when reading, writing, and 'rithmetic come to call. Therefore priorities and opportunity costs emerge, possibly for the first time for many.

Our guys are figuring out a lot about life right now, and some are especially in the season of trying to reframe and reform. In doing so, they actually enter prep for our Upper School expectations and beyond. It truly is a college-prep mentality that serves our students, and every year at this time we account for the same general breakdown within our enrollment: half the guys are hard-wired for college prep, demonstrating both the ability and the personal responsibility in order to get there; the other half are not there yet. That's ok. This is middle school life. They'll all get there sooner or later.

The above graphic serves both groups as they build their "personal icebergs," their body of work/character/citizenship resulting from the common challenges life presents on a regular basis. Help the boys be mindful of the value of what is unseen that supports that which is seen by the world. Share your personal struggles and challenges from your adolescence, and try to articulate the people and habits that worked to support the success you have today. Encourage the lads. They are sometimes delicate souls, yet clearly capable and maturing boys, all works in progress!

January 18, 2017

Please join us Thursday, January 26 at Hutchison School for a viewing of the provocative documentary, Screenagers, free and open to the public. The film is showing in the Weiner Theater, south side of campus.

The film is 1 hour long. We anticipate discussion, and while folks are welcome to hang around and chat for a bit, we reserved Friday, January 27 at MUS for a formal breakdown of the film's content. Please consider carving out Friday morning January 27, 8:15 a.m. at MUS, Wunderlich Auditorium, for the follow-up discussion led by the counseling staffs of Hutchison School, St. Mary's School, and MUS.

October 27, 2016

Here we see a motivated student planning his work and working his plan, all this in his natural habitat.

The boy was motivated to get his chores completed in order to get to go to the Hutchsion pre-game dance followed by the MUS varsity football game last Friday. This live-action photo captured the event at 6:15 a.m. All business!

Upon further investigation, sources tell us that this student is required to iron his pants for school as an agreement in exchange for his shirts to be sent to the cleaners. His father taught him how to iron. The parents report that they recommend he get his ironing for the week completed on Sunday afternoons after church. When those best laid plans do not come to fruition, the early morning is reserved for the task.

Great reporting from the domestic front! We appreciate a peak behind the curtain exposing what these boys can do as welcomed additions to their families assisting the larger family mission toward helping at home.

October 19, 2016

“The school starts at 7:30 a.m.,” Rose Liao, one of my best friends, told me about her school life as a ninth-grader in Beijing. "Besides the daily nine periods of classes, we have to take a two-hour test every day as well. Different days have a different subject test: Chinese, math, English, chemistry and physics. After finishing the test, we get out of the school at nearly 6 p.m.”

Well, we advise our boys that it is a competitive world out there. Work ethic and stamina matters a lot.

September 26, 2016

We thank MUS parent Mrs. Karen Fesmire who forwarded this thoughtful piece from the Washington Post published earlier this summer after having just dropped off her recent MUS grad Witt at Vanderbilt University.

It comes from Dr. Chris Alexander, associate Dean and professor of political science at Davidson College. He offers some sage advice for parents to their children/students when it comes to offering room for growth, healthy perspectives on school, and framing short-term situations in context of the big picture. Much of what he says applies to MUS parents encouraging their sons to adjust to a competitive environment as the lads grow in wisdom and stature.

Here's a sample:

[Parents] can help them maintain balance in their lives: Invest in people, not just school work. Remember that success and happiness in life depend on relationships. College gives most young people their first chance to begin building independent selves that connect to others. Learning to do this well and joyously is more important than any grade they will earn.

And bestowing your perspective from a distance might be the best strategy. Because perspective requires distance. You can’t help your young person see the big picture if you become a character in it. You surrender your vantage point when you climb down into the details of their daily lives (emphasis ours).

You can’t remind them that the world will not end when they get a “C” on a paper if you spent hours on the phone helping them write it. You can’t give good advice about managing a conflict with a professor or a roommate if you’ve become part of the drama. You can’t help them make choices that will be wise in the long term if your own vision gets constrained by their short-term view.

Wise words, indeed. Trust your son and his teachers to help him help himself as he authors his own successful path through school. He'll thank you just like Witt thanks his mom and dad for letting him grow up through MUS as he prepares to tackle Vandy!

In this shortened week, many students face deadlines. A stream of boys can be heard in our offices over the last two days calling home, either requesting things to be brought to school that they left behind or attempting the "I'm not feeling well" phone call that can mean "because I failed to complete my assignment on time, and I gotta get outta here!"

Be assured, we take temperatures and initiate an "eye-test" for all stated illnesses. However, some boys are obviously allergic to accountability. We can usually tell what's going on because our job as professionals is to pay attention to context as well as content!

The big idea is that the boys have known their assignments and the associated due dates for weeks. We hound them through their Assignment Books. Every assembly we call attention both to group and to individual academic matters, and every study hall boys have opportunity to access the computer lab, math lab, English lab, the library, and even their own Assignment Books as they plan their work and work their plans!

Bottom line: Let us have these boys so they can grow up. You pay us a lot. Hold us accountable to the MUS mission statement, and allow the process to mold the boy. We claim to know what we're doing, and the alumni thank us once they hit graduation and come to their senses!

Parents, we understand the anxiety. Many of us have children as well, and we struggle with the same fast-paced world and high expectations for our children. It's really tough sometimes. That said, the boys are safe here, and they have to grow up. A failed assignment is a great lesson, and we strive to intercept them where they are in order to launch them out toward where and what they must be.

So, moms and dads, go out there, and make the world a better place. Detach from these boys while they are in classes. They learn independence in the process, and that's what school is all about.

November 17, 2015

Here is a great presentation from a Carnegie Mellon-led research team articulating the need for students to master understanding of fractions and long division for long-term success, including teachers respecting the best ways to teach to that end. The MUS Math department pointed us to this editorial.

We want to shore up and encourage our boys who expose their deficits in this area, therefore our #MathLabMandate increases a student's instruction time by as much as 100% in any given week as he substitutes Study Hall period for Math Lab as prescribed by his instructor. No outside tutor, no extra expense, Math Lab offers a great value to these boys when they meet us half-way, arriving in lab with a good frame of mind, ready to dig down toward a demonstrated improvement in their grasp of fractions and long division. We even substitute math problems and fractionsfor the Rules of Civility from time to time in support of greater fractions and long division understanding.

PITTSBURGH—From factory workers to Wall Street bankers, a reasonable proficiency in math is a crucial requirement for most well-paying jobs in a modern economy. Yet, over the past 30 years, mathematics achievement of U.S. high school students has remained stagnant — and significantly behind many other countries, including China, Japan, Finland, the Netherlands and Canada.

A research team led by Carnegie Mellon University's Robert Siegler has identified a major source of the gap - U. S. students' inadequate knowledge of fractions and division. Although fractions and division are taught in elementary school, even many college students have poor knowledge of them. The research team found that fifth graders' understanding of fractions and division predicted high school students' knowledge of algebra and overall math achievement, even after statistically controlling for parents' education and income and for the children's own age, gender, I.Q., reading comprehension, working memory, and knowledge of whole number addition, subtraction and multiplication. Published in Psychological Science, the findings demonstrate an immediate need to improve teaching and learning of fractions and division.

"We suspected that early knowledge in these areas was absolutely crucial to later learning of more advanced mathematics, but did not have any evidence until now," said Siegler, the Teresa Heinz Professor of Cognitive Psychology at Carnegie Mellon. "The clear message is that we need to improve instruction in long division and fractions, which will require helping teachers to gain a deeper understanding of the concepts that underlie these mathematical operations. At present, many teachers lack this understanding. Because mastery of fractions, ratios and proportions is necessary in a high percentage of contemporary occupations, we need to start making these improvements now."

November 11, 2015

What we have wrought in modern education as a society is making the headlines. The recent events at Yale and University of Missouri, where some MUS grads are enrolled, is worthy of both our attention and concern. It should be known that race was not the only issue at Mizzou.

The trickle-down of the troubles to us in high school, to independent college prep schools, is imminent if not already within the gates.

The above video parodies in a haunting tone "form over content," students as books being judged by their covers, if you will. We were taught as children not to judge a book by its cover for the precise purpose that we should exercise our intellect and wit, not react to our preconceptions and ignorance. In other words, in "reading the book" (listening, discovering, reasoning) we would become better people through employing humility, patience, charity, and thought. We could then uncover new insights leading to greater understanding, uniting us in a shared culture worth sharing and continuing to build together.

One YouTube comment following the short film remarked,"Whatever one wishes to call it - Cultural Marxism, Political Correctness, Neo-Progressivism, Social Justice, feminism - the effect is an entire generation divested of their capacity for independent and rational thinking." That's a great statement.

We will not allow this generation within our walls to go down without a fight. Those of us employed to teach college-prep students as they learn under our care are alarmed at what is going to happen to our students when they go off to college and university, as are parents.

Some of us wonder if the next level is even worth it in the intellectual sense, concerned that the the university is dying. It does not matter, however, because all of our boys are going to college because they need the ticket in order to hop on the next "edu-vocation" train: grad school, pay scale, resume, regardless of much of the practical content learned in the classrooms. Will our boys have the reasoning skills and the backgrounds arming them to stand strong and think for themselves? Will they be able to counter a bad idea with a good idea? Will they be able to listen and work to reason together? Will they be tough enough to stand?

We have cause to be concerned that the divisiveness and the balkanization pumped by the media can tear at our fabric here at school, in Memphis, and therefore we aim to enroll everyone here into the common culture of MUS as a compelling culture, something outside of ourselves, something greater than ourselves, something tied both to our unique history and to our promising future as well-rounded emerging leaders of strong moral character, of sharpened intellect, of circumspect sensibilities, of academic ability.

At the end of the day, regardless of our students' color and politics, eventually the bridges they build must withstand forces of nature, the money they manage must grow and be accounted for, the medicine they prescribe must help and not harm, and the character and citizenship they exhibit must be moral and principled lest they slither about as Machiavellian pragmatists, charlatans blown to and fro by the daily headlines. There are many wolves out there. Will our boys be able shepherds?

Onward and upward, we say. We are not afraid. We labor for these boys for their own benefit, though they may not see it now through the red ink marks, the Homework Detentions, the grammar rules, and the Honor Code. We work so that "Our team will never yield, our men forever will be true" - MUS Fight Song