Poodles fall foul of Dangerous Dog's Act

A rogue Standard Poodle has been seized by police from Luigi’s Famous Travelling Circus after a serious incident at a matinee performance in Shanklin on the Isle of Wight.

In a statement to the police an eye witness, who did not wish to be named said, “At the start, the tricks they performed were pretty tame: jumping over hurdles, twirling on their hind legs, crawling through tubes, skipping over ropes and standing on rolling bandboxes. Then suddenly things starting turning nasty.”

The witness went on to describe the next part of the act which sent women and children fleeing for their lives from the Big Top.

“Suddenly the action turned up a notch with spotlights glaring and sirens wailing. It was then that a black BMW Series 5 burst into the arena before circling the perimeter of the ring with a huge standard poodle behind the wheel. He pointed a sawn off shot gun at a conga line of Poodles walking on hind legs with their forepaws on the backs of the dogs preceding them.”

Several other witnesses reported hearing the rogue poodle shout “get a taste of this suckers!” before unloading two barrels at the defenceless group. Two miniature poodles travelling in the back of the car fled from the scene. In the ensuing carnage, two clowns passing by in a Noddy car were also gunned down, sending the vehicle into the orchestra and crushing a promising young kazoo player to death.

Police confirmed that they took the Dangerous Dog's Act into account before making an arrest. A search has also been put out for the two missing accomplices. A spokesman for Luigi’s Famous Travelling Circus blamed the incident on territorial wars between rival packs of poodles.

Meanwhile, vets treating a female poodle injured at the scene, have described her condition as stable and that she would soon be ‘back in the pink’. A fellow performing poodle described her as “One lucky bitch.”

Several members of the audience are reported to have been offered witness protection and new identities on the mainland. Meanwhile the RSPCA has called on the Government for a complete overhaul of the Dangerous Dog's Act to prevent incidents like this from happening again.