I always used to say “Every woman wants to own a man.” And while it may not be true for every case, I have yet to meet a woman who didn’t reinforce my belief.

But today, I happened across a very interesting revelation. I work in a place where there are quite a few socially awkward men and quite a few very attractive women. This is also true of my church, and as I remember things true of my college experience also. And if you’ve ever had the unfortunate opportunity to be around these socially awkward men when they’re around these very attractive women, you’ve probably figured out fairly quickly that they stick their foot in their mouth when the women are in ear shot, and they mutter semi-sensical innuendos when they’re not.

These women could own these men in a matter of seconds, probably with little to no effort. And these men would ask for almost nothing in return, other than the privilidge of continuing to mutter under their breath about select portions of their anatomy.

But they don’t… these women don’t try to own these men. I’ve been curious for some time as to why they don’t try. It seems clear that they don’t want to own them, which is a pretty good reason for not trying. But then why don’t they want to own them? This is violating one of my central beliefs concerning women.

The truth is a woman doesn’t want to own a man. They’re just very rarely left with any other option. In fact, what a woman wants is almost exactly the opposite. She wants a man who can’t be owned.

We should stop for a second and discuss what I mean by “own”. Owning anything means that it is subject to your will. If you want to wash your car, your car does not stop you. The weather might stop you, but you don’t own the weather; it’s not subject to your will.

A woman does not want a man who is subject to her will. She doesn’t want a man who’s subject to anyone else’s either. She wants a man who can’t be owned.

This doesn’t mean she wants to be ignored or neglected. She wants to be heard because she is respected and trusted, not because she owns the listener. She wants to be paid attention because she is considered precious, not because she demands it. But in the absence of a man capable of such respect and trust, she will make someone listen. And if no one considers her precious, she will demand attention nonetheless.

So, the new belief works something like this… Every woman will settle for owning a man till she finds one who can’t be owned.