So there’s this known 1999 book by Stephen Chbosky calledThe Perks of Being a Wallflower. He didn’t think anyone could do movie justice to it, so he made the dang movie himself. HOW FCUKING AWESOME (and risky) IS THAT!??!?!?!?! Others authors have done such a thing before, but none of them have hit the mark quite like SC does with his own book turned movie. Why? Cause this movie gets high school and high schoolers and the lows and highs of being a high schooler in high school 101% correctamundo. If you’ve ever attended a high school, you should see this movie and you will see something of yourself in it, whether you were the jock, the joke, the pretty girl, the ugly girl (all boys are ugly), the dork, the geek, the misfit or any other stereotype we didn’t think of! It’s true! This movie is an adolescent treasure in the vein of John Hughes type stuffs!!! And there’s not many recent teen movies you could say such things of! Sure, Mean Girls was thighlarious, but it was too unrealistic, and the incredible doc American Teenwas juss tooooo real, fo reals, yo, even though the poster ate its BREAKFAST in a CLUB!

Logan Lerman is our title wallflower and he’s so awkward that flowers and walls stay away from him! He’s going thru a lot of sh!t, but luckily he lands into the laps of new friends Ezra Miller & Emma Watson, who help move him away from the wall, and let his flower bloom, which they do by teaching him about cool music and let him try drugs and girls and fun! And there’s also Mae Whitman, who’s great, cause she is. And then there’s the wallflower’s sister Nina Dobrev, who’s so hot that incest would be allowed, but it’s not that kinda of a movie, and that’s OK. Even Paul Rudd‘s in this movie, in a minor, BUT important role, as a teacher who encourages reading!! And there are other people in this movie and they are great, CAUSE THIS IS WHAT HIGH SCHOOL IS/WAS LIKE!!! Cause believe it or snot, we were once a teeny bit of a wallflower teen, but then we found best friends and had the best times and then we all went our own separate ways for college, and stuff, and things, but high school memories WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!!! like Goonies!

We do need to talk about We Need To Talk About Kevin cause we juss need to talk about it. First you MUSS MUSS MUSS see this, then we can talk about how Tilda Swinton might be the single greatest half-amphibian-half-human working in movies, and how John C Reilly is the most bestest absent-minded lovable doof working in movies, and how we’d be scared to f$%king death to ever run into Ezra Miller, Jasper Newell or Rock Duer on the street, cause all 3 of them played Kevin at different ages, and all 3 of em make us never want to have kids, let alone touch a bow and arrow ever again

Lynne Ramsay‘s take on Lionel Shriver‘s 2003 novel of the same name is as beautiful as it is frightening, as empty as it is loving, and as unforgettable as Gus van Sant’s Elephantwas kinda forgettable, sorta. What else do we need to talk about? Bobbed? What about bobbed?

Shirts by My Man Marvkus

Advertisement

Kingsman: The Secret Service Posh Spicy Official Website | Trailers & Mo R | 128 min My litmus test of dumb-fun movies goes like this – is the movie in question as dumb and as fun as the amazingly dumb-fun Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle is/was? Last up for the test – Lucy, which passed with flying colors, […]

Selma (Mostly) Down With The King Official Website | Trailers & Mo PG-13 | 127 min How has there never been a full length feature film made about Martin Luther King Jr, before Ava DuVernay‘s Selma marched onto the scene???? HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW???? I know Spike Lee wanted to make one, and I’m sure Spielberg did too, and anyone else who […]

Big Eyes Pretty (Brutal) As A Picture Official Website | Trailers & Mo PG-13 | 106 min Margaret Keane made some pretty freaky looking art in the 60s – you know, those ones with them kids with giant scary eyes. Well, apparently during the height of the paintings’ fame and fortunes, it was her husband, Walter Keane, […]

The Search For General Tso Dish Dished! Official Website | Trailers & Mo Unrated | 71 min Finally, there’s a doc answering the question that no one was dying to know – who was General Tso, and why was a chicken dish named in his honor????? And now that I know the answers, all I want […]

Inherent Vice California Scheming Official Website | Trailers & Mo R | 148 min In a haze and in a daze, Paul Thomas Anderson‘s take on Thomas Pynchon‘s Inherent Vice is well worth toking. Why? it’s… (thankfully not the dis-Master) Lebowski-y, but smarter(!)(?) and says hello to The Long Goodbye and is as serious (and seriously silly) as […]

the year was 1984, and Tom Hanks wasn’t the Tom Hanks yet, he was 80s Tom Hanks, and he starred in a silly sassy movies like Bachelor Party Not exactly sure when or how I first saw Bachelor Party, but I’m assuming it was on HBO (endlessly), and I saw it at home at age 7 or […]

Judy Landers and Lisa Hartman attend the taping of the television special ‘The Stars Salute the U.S. Olympic Team‘ to help raise funds for the U.S. Olympic Committee and the U.S. Olympic Team on January 29, 1984 at Pasadena Civic Auditorium in Pasadena, California. photos by Ron Galella

we somehow cobbled together the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2014 and now, for the only awards that matter… hELlEVENth Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards aka THE THIGHSMANS!!! _ The Trash Humpers Biggest Piece of Humpy Trash Film of the Year!!!!! (aka – somehow a movie with a naked ScarJo ScarBLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Under The Skin dishonrable […]

The Flowqueens of ’14 1) Jodorowsky’s Dune The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!! So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at – 2) The Trip to Italy Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy. Hilarity ensues at every blip on […]

you know the drill – 2014 was so 1014, and 2015 is so gonna be as awesome as 2112 will be. Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause the lord commands it… OUT IN The Ice Bucket Challenge – The Lice Bucket Challenge – Meghan Trainor – Tranny Meagan – LARP – […]

being married kept me away from the movie theatre/theater, and more at home, glued to the good ole boob tube, and that was way OK, cause TV was pretty fraking good in 2014… 1. Married at First Sight (FYI) A reality show that made us believe in love AND reality TV again, and it all felt so real. […]

somehow I got back into (newish) music this year. I blame the Robyn Pandora station!!! they made me remember that women singers are the bestest!! annnnnnnnywho, here’s my year with music… Spotifly A$$ Al Bumz EP Ki-Yay, motherfcuker! Röyksopp & Robyn’s Do It Again – Dear Lord, What Took Us So Long To […]