The Story

Friday, August 21, 2009

Ingredient #1 -- Say what you are going to do. Communicating your intentions to your partner eliminates the guesswork that often leads to false assumptions and misunderstandings. Tell your partner what you are planning to accomplish and how you would like to include him or her in your plan.

Ingredient #2 -- Do what you say. The more your actions match your words, the more trust others have in you. Trust develops when a person's words are congruent with his or her actions. When you say clearly what you are going to do and then do it, trust grows and strengthens.

Ingredient #3 -- Live in the present. When you keep track of how often a behavior has occurred and make a point of reminding your partner of it, you drag the past into the present. This is called mental scorekeeping. The weight of numerous incidents creates strain that prevents you from addressing the current situation effectively. Scorekeeping builds stress, magnifies the situation, and interferes with the process of communicating clearly and directly about the present incident.

Ingredient #4 -- Look at yourself first. Before pointing a finger at your partner, consider your own behavior. Is there something you might be doing that demonstrates you are not trustworthy? Explore the possibility that you are choosing a behavior that gives your partner the impression that you cannot be fully trusted. Bring that behavior into the open, and talk about it with your partner.

Ingredient #5 -- Time, time, and more time. Time plays a major role in the development and strengthening of trust. Don't expect an overnight change of attitude from either yourself or your partner. The more opportunities you have to demonstrate how your words and actions flow together, the stronger trust will become. That takes time. Look for as many opportunities as possible to match your words with your behavior, and be mindful of your partner's attempts to do the same.

If you feel your relationship is lacking trust, make an investment. Invest in building, strengthening, and maintaining your relationship by mixing the five ingredients together, putting them into practice, and supporting each other in your efforts. The result will be a relationship of mutual respect and connectedness built on a foundation of trust

Building Trust

Trust doesn't just naturally happen between two people, even if they love each other. It takes work and if you've been hurt in the past, it can be especially difficult. Building trust takes time, you need to show your partner that you are trustworthy and that you trust them in return. If your partner has trouble trusting, you can do a lot to create an environment where trust can grow. Listen to your partner, respect him and his opinions, and accept him as he is. Reveal parts of your own history, show him that you trust him and you will help him to do the same. If you are vulnerable it helps your partner to feel that he is safe to be vulnerable as well.

Don't rush it. If you truly love your partner and want what's best for him, you'll wait. If you're in a relationship with someone you feel you can't trust, don't ignore it. If you have trouble trusting anyone, you might want to seek counseling before you run away from what could be a great relationship. Your past does affect your ability to trust. However, if trust hasn't been a problem for you in the past and your gut is telling you to protect yourself from this guy, take it as a warning. Take a close look at who he is, how he treats others and how he treats you. Your gut may be giving you good information.

- For now just doing nothing. If I got bored at home, I'll just play my online games or my PS2. If I were too bored, I'll go out alone. Just wondering anywhere that I think I want to go or watching movie alone.

- Sometimes felt so alone but I choose it. Have to endure it sometimes by myself. Perhaps because of ego so high.

- have you ever like someone soooo much in your life? It's hard to forget her. Been trying to forget her about year and a hal, but another part of me still have feeling towards her. In the end, if the other part is stronger than other one, in the end the weaker part end up lose. We meet a few times with friends especially at Ayen's house for makan2. my buddy sometimes ask me to start the conversation, but it's not like I don't want, perhaps something else.

- Well, maybe I don't have the courage to ask her. Perhaps deep down within me there's still something for her. Well, it's kinda hard to explain by words alone. Between ego and the fear of rejection, I guess both is balance. It's sound like I'm a coward, but that's the truth.

- Honestly, one thing that I could wish for this new year is just one and one thing only. I hope God can answer my prayer for all this time, give me the courage to ask her for another chance. Or maybe is there any possibality for us to get back together? People always said that the things that you want the most is the hardest one to get.

- To much already in here, better I act as usual. Keep it all just to myself and myself only. It's hard for me to open to other people. Only a few people that I'm comfortable to share with.

- The bottom thins is, ELISE, I still have feeling towards you. But I keep it to myself first.

WORK- Been busy with work lately. Due to economy slow down, the management already give warning to all workers that our place perhaps not as secure as we thought. Company's profit is based on the sales that we make. If we get less sales, the lesser our pay will be.

- Even the Western Digital factory near my office is already shut down and about 5000 people are now without work since the US HQ decide to close it down.

- Now looking for a new job. I hope can get a better job and salary for me. Perhaps I'll continue back my study after have enough savings. Need to work and study at the samt time. I hope I can do it. I don't care if I finish my degree late, as long as I can finish it, it's ok with me

That's all for the 1st entry for this new year. Wish you all the best in years to come. May Allah S.W.T bless you all and have a happy life.

p/s: To Elise, wish you all the best in your life and take a very good care of yourself. I wish you all the best and a successful life ahead. May your life full of happiness and blessing. Luv ya...kuikuikui....

Monday, December 29, 2008

Salam to all. I guest when you were working it seems there's not enough time even for yourself. So this is just a quick update since a long time I haven't update this blog. It's quite tiring for my current work. Even for admin job, there's sure a lot of job to be handled.

I guess I miss the time during study and life as a student. I guess when you're alone you'll be thinking about everyone else. Family, friends, somebody etc. I guess I miss the situation where all of us going out and hang out at anyplace. Now everybody is busy with their own life and work. So time spent together is getting lesser and lesser as time goes by.

1 question : Is it hard to start a conversation even a simple one after a long time of lost communication? Do you have a courage to do it or just go for it? My buddy always asking me to make the first move and start the conversation. All I can say is , nantila, tgkla, sabarla and other excuses. It's not that I didn't want to take the initiative to start it first, but there's something deep down make me hard to do it. Sometimes when I have the nerve, there's some obstacles. Well,I guess courage enough is not good. Confident is also needed...hahahaha. Depend on situation la. Perhaps next time when I have what it takes to start 1st, I hope it's not too late.

That's all for now folks. See you in another entry...ciaw..

ps: To all my brothers and sisters in Islam in Malaysia and all over tje world, I wish you Salam Maal Hijrah. May we become a better ummah.Assalamualaikum.