Friday, 22 April 2016

Noir in fake Shanghai (ft. Singapore)

Note to the reader: Another chapter of my Shanghai stories!! At this point I don't even need to tell you but for those of you who are new to my blog: the drink of choice this time is a Gin Tonic, so play the song and enjoy ;)

We
are in a small space, looks like a boiler room, barely illuminated by
an old, dusty, yellow light dangling from the ceiling. We hear a
knock from behind the walls. The two Chinese guys in front of us nod
to each other and one of them bend to open a small wooden cabinet
door. I see an arm coming out, handing out a black bag to one of the
guys. The smell of mould is so strong I can feel it in my nose and
I’m shivering.

-
That’s our stuff. Said Stig.

I
feel a knot in my throat. What a stupid way to die, in a boiler room
in the middle of Shanghai. I think it’s unfair. It’s all Stig’s
fault. Just a few hours before I was in taxi, dying …of laughter.

Just
outside the Mint (remember?) in the middle of the street we met this
lady, around 45, talking nonsense in a language which was a mix of
English and German. She couldn’t remember where her hotel was and
she was trying to find someone to share a cab with because she didn’t
have enough money. Stig and his partner, as the true gentlemen they
are, kindly offered to bring her back safe and sound. In the taxi she
told us her name was Anna and let me tell you that was a pretty long
ride, since the drunk lady was undecided between three different
hotels. She was a hostess for KLM, she was on a three days break in
between flights. She spoke a little bit of Italian and she loved
Celentano. Yep, a German hostess in Shanghai started singing out loud
Prisencolinensinainciusol like a real fan girl. At the fourth time
the Chinese taxi driver joined us singing the choirs: PARARA’!PAPARAPA PA RA PAPA’! Singing Celentano out loud in a taxi…only
in Shanghai.

We
left Anna, fresh like a rose drown in Gin, in front of the building
she believed was her hotel. Hopefully. But before getting off she
just threw herself at Stig, caught unprepared for once, squishing him
against the taxi window.

-
Beautiful baby green eyes, if you give me your business card I’ll
call you tomorrow and I’ll introduce you to my colleagues. They are
younger than me…

We
saw her crawl out of the taxi and disappear in the hall. To this day
Stig never said if he ended up meeting those KLM hostesses but
judging from his witty look I bet he definitely did.

After
a few hours, early afternoon, we went to one the famous Shanghai fake
markets. I can’t really stand knock offs but Stig kept saying a
place like that was a must see and it would be fun to browse the best
place in town where you can learn everything about negotiation.

Once
we got in I was astonished: it wasn't a shop, it was more like a
mall…a fake mall.

The
ground floor is all about travel cases, every size and color mainly
Samsonite, MCM and Rimowa, some of them are so well made you really
need to look close up to spot the difference with the real deal. On
the second floor there's clothing: Belstaff, Polo, Diesel,
Chanel…every popular

brand
you can immagine, on display on lousy mannequins and sold at insanely
cheap prices…

But
the good stuff is on the third floor: glasses, sunglasses and watches
all fake of course.. You can get a designer frame with prescription
lenses for something like 40 euros. In less then an hour your glasses
are ready and you can leave the market with you fab pair of (fake)
Tom Fords. Some stalls are cheaper then others but the quality drops
dangerously.

Here
and there you can spot paper notices stuck on the wall, advising you
that is strictly forbidden to buy fake merchandise sold inside of the
market…if they say so…

I
found Stig checking some watches at the “Original Pagnerai”
stall. The smug vendor tries to close the deal offering a very good
price. Stig stays calm and told the man the quality is not the best
and when copying they should at least try to get the name of the
brand right.

We’re
about to leave when the man tell Stig to follow him to show him some
more watches. “Great quality” he assures.

Oh
damn curiosity…Stig cannot resist. We follow the chinese guy down a
hallway and get to the lift. Inside we found another guy, I assume
he's the partner of he first one. He unlocks the access to the 5th
floor and press the button. The more we go up the more I get nervous.

When
we get off the lift I found myself in a very different place: lots of
hallways and closed doors. No stalls, no windows, no vendors, no
nothing.

We
follow them and I can hear the echo of our steps down the hallway. We
stop in front of one of the doors. They open it and we enter what
looks like a boiler room.

No
sounds, no one around and I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad
thing. At this point I’m pretty sure we’re going to get robbed.

...So
we’re back to the hand holding the black bag, very Addams family
style. One of the men opens it: Rolex, Panerai, Tag, Piguet and they
all look pretty good quality…in the darkness of the room. Stig
starts an intense negotiation for one of the Rolex.

-
Stig you don’t even wear watches…

-
I know but at this point I need to negotiate for a while. It would be
disrespectful to leave straight away. Given our position I wouldn’t
mess with them.

-
Great! Now I’m definitely feeling better.

Stig
say he found the watch he likes. Price 3.500,00 RMB that quickly
drops to 1.100,00. He doesn’t want the steel wristband but the one
in crocodile. The guy said it can be done but he needs to get it
somewhere.

He
tell us to come back in an hour go to Chen glass shop and ask for
Yong Lu. He wants some money in advance but Stig is firm: cash on the
barrel. Deal.

When
we finally get out of the building in the blinding light of the day,
once again I ask myself if it was just a dream. At this point it’s
a given for me in this city.

-
You didn’t buy anything in the end. I’m impressed!

-
To be honest I came here for the fun of the negotiation, to see how
farI can get. I didn’t really need anything.

-
I don’t think there’s another place like this in the whole, wide
world.

-
Well actually there is! I heard there’s a nice market in Singapore.
The first time I went there I didn’t have time but I’m going back
there next august and for a longer period of time so…

-
You and your partner never stop uh?!

-
We like it this way and there’s this restaurant in Kallang Road
next to our hotel where they do the best Chili Crab in town, it was
there that I fell in love with…but I’ll tell you about this
another time.

Yes, enough for today. I’m pretty happy I made it out of the Fake
Market alive…this time.