Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

65 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Steven Spielberg
Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliott, Alison Doody, Julian Glover, John Rhys-Davies, River Phoenix 1989
Professor Henry Jones: "I'm sorry about your head though. But I thought that you were one of them".
Indiana Jones: "Dad, they come in through the doors".
Professor Henry Jones: "Ha, good point".

Professor Henry Jones: "We named the *dog* Indiana".

64 Knute Rockne, All American
Lloyd Bacon
Pat O'Brien, Ronald Reagan 1940
George Gipp: "Win one for the Gipper!"

Knute Rockne: "Now I'm going to tell you something I've kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew George Gipp. He was long before your time, but you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me, 'Rock,' he said, 'sometime when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock,' he said, 'but I'll know about it and I'll be happy'".

63 Mr. Holland's Opus
Stephen Herek
Richard Dreyfuss, Glenne Headly, Olympia Dukakis, Jay Thomas 1995
Vice Principal Wolters: "I care about these kids just as much as you do. And if I'm forced to choose between Mozart and reading and writing and long division, I choose long division".
Glenn Holland: "Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about".

Dom Portwood: "Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports".
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it".
Dom Portwood: "Yeah. Did you get that memo?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore".
Dom Portwood: "Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!"

Bob Slydell: "You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?"
Peter Gibbons: "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour".
Bob Porter: "Da-uh? Space out?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work".

Bob Porter: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately".
Peter Gibbons: "I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob".
Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."

51 The Untouchables
Brian De Palma
Sean Connery, Kevin Costner, Andy García, Robert De Niro, Patricia Clarkson, Charles Martin Smith, Richard Bradford 1987
Malone: "You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"

Hutch: "Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we're gonna stick to this?"
Starsky: "I've always had a thing for blondes".
Hutch: "Good, cause I'll take anything".

Huggy Bear: "Look man, it ain't even funny no more. There used to be a time around here when you peed on the wall, you did it outside".
Hutch: "Lighten up! It's Friday night. Okay, it's a bar".
Huggy Bear: "Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon man. Snap out of it".

Huggy Bear: "I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch".

Captain Doby: "You've robbed 7 bookies over the past 6 months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money; you haven't even arrested anybody".
Hutch: "How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop".