Today Seattle residents filed a class action suit in the Great Court in the Sky against Seattle Sun Gods, Ltd. The suit seeks damages for what has been by all accounts a lack luster summer. Allegations in the suit include:

A seeming lack of interest in sunny weather throughout the spring and summer

Persistent rainy weather, particularly on weekends

Repeated dramatic shifts in temperature over a twenty-four hour period

While many lifelong Seattle residents aren't sure what all the fuss is about, others express anger with the Sun Gods and say they simply want what they have coming to them. Shaym O'Nuss, who moved here from Texas ten years ago, says, “I’m used to summer just being from Memorial Day to Labor Day but this is just ridiculous.”

Specific damages requested in the suit are:

A partial refund on the summer equal to the number of non-sunny days between Memorial Day and Labor Day

Counseling to help residents with Seasonal Affective Disorder this winter

Money to pay for sun lamps

Starbucks coffee cards

Unspecified damages due to pain and suffering

The suit is expected to be heard later this fall.

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We here on the eastside (where the grapes come from) would like to join that suit and seek damages for grapes that are looking like they're not going to get quite so ripe this year - either that, or let the Sun God wave his magic wand and increase consumer demand for wines from "European" vintages.....