There are many, many perks to the crazy movie-filled life we have chosen. But there are also the hidden dark sides. Which I thought would be fun to bring to life. Though, since this is not Buzzfeed, I haven't added tangentially-related clips. I apologize.

-When people ask you for movie recommendations, you put a lot of effort into them, and they watch maybe one or probably none. Dicks.

-When you watch a movie because you want to "have seen it," not because you want to watch it, and realize there are still two hours to go and you're bored out of your skull

-When you haven't seen some shitty movie and people get to be really smug with their "You've seen thousands of movies and you've NEVER seen Stepbrothers!?

-When you realize that you've seen over 400 movies in theaters since you started keeping track, and averaging $7.50 a movie (not even counting my date's tickets) that's $3000 dollars.

-When you're watching some acknowledged, acclaimed masterpiece and you have the sinking, guilty feeling that you have no idea what everyone finds special about the film

-When people ask you what your favorite movie is and instead of just saying the title you have to start with "It's a 1960s war film called..." or "It's a Brazilian crime drama set in the slums..." or "Fuck it...Aliens."

-When you have to listen to awful, awful movie conversations around you and not jump in and tell everyone just how wrong they are.

-When you realize that you agree with Vexer on a movie

_________________I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger

Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:09 am

Ken

Director

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 6:26 pmPosts: 1743

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

I don't find myself running into most of these issues too often. I think I'm pretty good about maintaining a balance in my life as far as movies go. (Perhaps not so much with other things...) But yeah, I've found myself agreeing with Vexer on multiple occasions. It happens! There's no need for shame; we're all Vexer in some facet of our personalities and that's why he's essential to our community. He's like a movie populist version of Jiminy Cricket.

As far as having conversations with non-movie people about movies, I'm partial to Kristin Thompson's strategy: steer the conversation toward the common ground. Maybe it's my educational background in rhetoric/idea communication/blah blah blah shut up Ken, but I don't think there's a purpose in waxing enthusiastically about something to somebody who has not heard of it, has no pre-existing interest in it, and has absolutely no point of entry into it. You have to couch what you're saying in terms that the person you're talking to can participate in on some level.

Pay attention to the movies at the top of the IMDB 250, because while they may not be the best movies of all time as far as we're concerned, they are democratically selected great movies by a lot of people from all kinds of backgrounds. They're great movies that a lot of people are familiar with. If you can perk someone's interest by talking about The Godfather, maybe you can convince them to daisy chain their way into other movies that are related in some way--other mob movies, other "movie brat" movies, other movies from Coppola's oeuvre, or whatever it might be.

But I've gotten away from the topic. One of the worst things about being the movie person in the room is when someone turns to you for your expert opinion on a movie you haven't seen. You almost feel like you've somehow been discredited when you have to admit to them that you've got nothing. I also hate when people naturally assume that I'll want to see a movie adaptation of some non-movie property that I'm on record as loving. Most often, the opposite is the case--I love the thing for what it is, not for what it might be if it were shoved through the Hollywood Play-Doh factory and pooped out the other end.

On that note, the worst part about being a movie person is that, as far as I'm concerned, you start to feel contempt toward the standard method of Hollywood plot construction. Maybe people skew a little bit too close to the Syd Field method, but you really do know how most movies will play out after they've been on for about 10 minutes. Even decent movies are mostly like a hermetically sealed snack food. They don't unfold organically from real characters with natural personalities, or from novel situations that have an element of the unpredictable in them. Rather, they unfold from a predetermined framework of story beats, which a limited supply of variables (people, places, MacGuffins) are endlessly reshuffled in and out of. It's not that these movies have no virtues, but they're destined to be at least a little bit disappointing no matter how good they are. You can't help being conscious of what they might have been if the storytellers hadn't been chained so closely to the radiator.

_________________The temptation is to like what you should like--not what you do like... another temptation is to come up with an interesting reason for liking it that may not actually be the reason you like it.

Sun Sep 29, 2013 12:14 pm

H.I. McDonough

Director

Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2009 10:09 pmPosts: 1310

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

Knowing that only about 5-10% of movies made these days are genuinely worth seeing.

Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:45 pm

Vexer

Auteur

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pmPosts: 3606Location: Zion, IL

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

5-10%, damn that's gotta suck! I enjoy around 85% of the films I see, anyways nice to hear that Ken agrees.

I'm a cinephile of a different sort in that I see a ton of obscure direct to video films that the average movie-goer has never heard of. For me the worst thing is having people(not you guys, I mean like people on IMDB and other forums) constantly belittle you for prefering an obscure film to a so-called "classic" when some DTV films I have seen are far superior to some well-known theatrical films.

Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:59 pm

peng

Director

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 10:42 pmPosts: 1362Location: Bangkok

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

There's some, like often having no interest in what my un-cinephile friends wanted to see. For example, a few weeks ago they wanted to drag me to Jobs, being Apple fans as they are. I just knew that I didn't want to see that, and the early general reactions didn't convince me the other way. They ended up going by themselves and didn't like it.

But the good outweights the bad, imo. The feeling you get from introducing them to something new is really great. Like when you seeked out the limited theaters that Warrior was playing in and got them to go, and they all loved it. Or like when you hear a friend's very, very young brother laughing heartily at the old black-and-white screwball comedy Bringing Up Baby. Or how you saw your jock friend turned into a cinephile enthusiastic for a brief moment when he realized how the 3D of the train dream sequence in Hugo must have the same effect as people seeing Lumiere's train arrival footage in 1895.

Mon Sep 30, 2013 6:04 am

H.I. McDonough

Director

Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2009 10:09 pmPosts: 1310

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

Vexer wrote:

5-10%, damn that's gotta suck! I enjoy around 85% of the films I see, anyways nice to hear that Ken agrees.

I'm a cinephile of a different sort in that I see a ton of obscure direct to video films that the average movie-goer has never heard of. For me the worst thing is having people(not you guys, I mean like people on IMDB and other forums) constantly belittle you for prefering an obscure film to a so-called "classic" when some DTV films I have seen are far superior to some well-known theatrical films.

But, really, Vex, how many in that 85% would you genuinely want to see again?

Mon Sep 30, 2013 9:55 pm

Vexer

Auteur

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pmPosts: 3606Location: Zion, IL

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

H.I. McDonough wrote:

Vexer wrote:

5-10%, damn that's gotta suck! I enjoy around 85% of the films I see, anyways nice to hear that Ken agrees.

I'm a cinephile of a different sort in that I see a ton of obscure direct to video films that the average movie-goer has never heard of. For me the worst thing is having people(not you guys, I mean like people on IMDB and other forums) constantly belittle you for prefering an obscure film to a so-called "classic" when some DTV films I have seen are far superior to some well-known theatrical films.

But, really, Vex, how many in that 85% would you genuinely want to see again?

Quite a few actually, i'd be more then happy to rewatch at least 60-65% of them again.

Mon Sep 30, 2013 11:31 pm

KWRoss

Director

Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:37 amPosts: 1181Location: Laurel, MD

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

JamesKunz wrote:

-When you haven't seen some shitty movie and people get to be really smug with their "You've seen thousands of movies and you've NEVER seen Stepbrothers!?

THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, THIS!!!!!!

It always boils down to some silly, stupid, inconsequential comedy that people give you shit for never having seen. For some of my friends, those movies are Grandma's Boy and Beerfest.

Grandma's Boy was offensive to my expectation that movies should have something, anything, even unintentionally, to reward the viewer for taking the time to watch it.

_________________The temptation is to like what you should like--not what you do like... another temptation is to come up with an interesting reason for liking it that may not actually be the reason you like it.

Tue Oct 01, 2013 9:13 am

JamesKunz

Critic

Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 amPosts: 6252Location: Easton, MD

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

Ken wrote:

Grandma's Boy was offensive to my expectation that movies should have something, anything, even unintentionally, to reward the viewer for taking the time to watch it.

Is it really that bad? My little brothers were trying to nag me into watching it

_________________I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger

Tue Oct 01, 2013 12:27 pm

patrick

Second Unit Director

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 4:57 pmPosts: 360

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

JamesKunz wrote:

Ken wrote:

Grandma's Boy was offensive to my expectation that movies should have something, anything, even unintentionally, to reward the viewer for taking the time to watch it.

Is it really that bad? My little brothers were trying to nag me into watching it

I almost liked it especially the last half hour, Kevin Nash's cameo and

-When you haven't seen some shitty movie and people get to be really smug with their "You've seen thousands of movies and you've NEVER seen Stepbrothers!?

THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, THIS!!!!!!

It always boils down to some silly, stupid, inconsequential comedy that people give you shit for never having seen. For some of my friends, those movies are Grandma's Boy and Beerfest.

Back in high school, I convinced a few of my friends to watch Monty Python And The Holy Grail, which none of them had ever seen. After it was done, there was a general agreement among them that it was good, but it was no Kung Pow: Enter The Fist. I don't talk to those people much anymore.

_________________"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."Letterboxd Profile

Tue Oct 01, 2013 12:45 pm

JamesKunz

Critic

Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 amPosts: 6252Location: Easton, MD

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

Blonde Almond wrote:

KWRoss wrote:

JamesKunz wrote:

-When you haven't seen some shitty movie and people get to be really smug with their "You've seen thousands of movies and you've NEVER seen Stepbrothers!?

THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, THIS!!!!!!

It always boils down to some silly, stupid, inconsequential comedy that people give you shit for never having seen. For some of my friends, those movies are Grandma's Boy and Beerfest.

Back in high school, I convinced a few of my friends to watch Monty Python And The Holy Grail, which none of them had ever seen. After it was done, there was a general agreement among them that it was good, but it was no Kung Pow: Enter The Fist. I don't talk to those people much anymore.

Odd you should mention Kung Pow -- aforementioned little brothers tried to get me to watch that one too

_________________I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger

Tue Oct 01, 2013 12:52 pm

JackBurns

Second Unit Director

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:51 pmPosts: 346Location: Durham, NC

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

Being at a widely regarded "party school" I would much rather know that I spent an assload of money on film, rather than an assload of money on alcohol.

With that said, I'll add a few (some of which may be a little more personal than others)

- When you can't share certain films with family/friends because you know they will completely lack the capacity to appreciate or understand the film as a whole.

- Adding to the previous comment--when you share a movie you love with someone and they hate it/dislike it/ or don't see the greatness you do.

-When your significant other feigns interest in film.

- When you begin checking available showtimes for the upcoming weekend, and find out that the film you really wanted to see isn't going to make it to the town you live in. (Of course then you make plans to commit your whole Saturday to driving two hours away to see that film--well maybe you guys don't).

-When you watch a film and have absolutely no idea how you feel about it, yet you feel as though you must formulate some kind of opinion because, as a movielover, you must!

_________________"I have now come to claim that satisfaction."

Last edited by JackBurns on Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tue Oct 01, 2013 12:59 pm

Vexer

Auteur

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pmPosts: 3606Location: Zion, IL

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

patrick wrote:

JamesKunz wrote:

Ken wrote:

Grandma's Boy was offensive to my expectation that movies should have something, anything, even unintentionally, to reward the viewer for taking the time to watch it.

Is it really that bad? My little brothers were trying to nag me into watching it

I almost liked it especially the last half hour, Kevin Nash's cameo and

I didn't think it was that bad at all, I thought it was decent with some LOL worth moments but otherwise forgettable. If someone tries to get you to watch Your Highness on the other hand, stay FAR away.

It's not always so much that family members "lack the capacity", sometimes the subject matter just might be too much for them to handle, like for example I can understand a Jewish family not feeling comfortable watching Schindler's List(or anything with Mel Gibson for that matter, especially Passion Of The Christ) Also I can understand why some people wouldn't want to watch something disturbing like Silence Of The Lambs.

My mom is kind of like that, she was revolted at the very idea of a show like Breaking Bad(mainly because her brother had suffered from a drug addiction, and she didn't like the idea of a show glorifying drug use).

Last edited by Vexer on Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:11 pm

Ken

Director

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 6:26 pmPosts: 1743

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

JamesKunz wrote:

Odd you should mention Kung Pow -- aforementioned little brothers tried to get me to watch that one too

The appeal of Kung Pow is an iconoclastic juxtaposition of appropriated footage and original dialogue, which achieves an ironic effect. That's basically an art schooly way of saying that they took a dusty old movie and stuck cartoon voices and silly dialogue on it and I laughed because I'm dumb.

The appeal of Grandma's Boy is basically nothing. I was not engaged on any level.

_________________The temptation is to like what you should like--not what you do like... another temptation is to come up with an interesting reason for liking it that may not actually be the reason you like it.

Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:14 pm

JamesKunz

Critic

Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 amPosts: 6252Location: Easton, MD

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

JackBurns wrote:

Being at a widely regarded "party school" I would much rather know that I spent an assload of money on film, rather than an assload of money on alcohol.

With that said, I'll add a few (some of which may be a little more personal than others)

- When you can't share certain films with family/friends because you know they will completely lack the capacity to appreciate or understand the film as a whole.

- Adding to the previous comment--when you share a movie you love with someone and they hate it/dislike it/ or don't see the greatness you do.

-When your significant other feigns interest in film.

- When you begin checking available showtimes for the upcoming weekend only to find out that the film you really wanted to see isn't going to make it to the town you live in. (Of course then you make plans commit your whole Saturday to driving two hours away to see that film--well maybe you guys don't).

-When you watch a film and have absolutely no idea how you feel about it, yet you feel as thought you must formulate some kind of opinion because, as a movielover, you must!

Great answers. I agree completely about the spending money part, btw. How about, when a friend you previously liked talking movies with suddenly decides that only losers watch movies and then dedicates his life to other shit instead?

_________________I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger

Tue Oct 01, 2013 5:27 pm

Vexer

Auteur

Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:02 pmPosts: 3606Location: Zion, IL

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

JamesKunz wrote:

JackBurns wrote:

Being at a widely regarded "party school" I would much rather know that I spent an assload of money on film, rather than an assload of money on alcohol.

With that said, I'll add a few (some of which may be a little more personal than others)

- When you can't share certain films with family/friends because you know they will completely lack the capacity to appreciate or understand the film as a whole.

- Adding to the previous comment--when you share a movie you love with someone and they hate it/dislike it/ or don't see the greatness you do.

-When your significant other feigns interest in film.

- When you begin checking available showtimes for the upcoming weekend only to find out that the film you really wanted to see isn't going to make it to the town you live in. (Of course then you make plans commit your whole Saturday to driving two hours away to see that film--well maybe you guys don't).

-When you watch a film and have absolutely no idea how you feel about it, yet you feel as thought you must formulate some kind of opinion because, as a movielover, you must!

Great answers. I agree completely about the spending money part, btw. How about, when a friend you previously liked talking movies with suddenly decides that only losers watch movies and then dedicates his life to other shit instead?

You make this big, grandiose speech or essay on why some classic movie is so awesome/horrible, whatever the case may be. You're then expected to make these types of speeches/essays on some fluff like a Julia Roberts movie or a Adam Sandler movie.

Remember, these were just examples but you get the idea.

Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:25 pm

JackBurns

Second Unit Director

Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:51 pmPosts: 346Location: Durham, NC

Re: Worst Things About Being a Cinephile

JamesKunz wrote:

Great answers. I agree completely about the spending money part, btw. How about, when a friend you previously liked talking movies with suddenly decides that only losers watch movies and then dedicates his life to other shit instead?

Yea thats really sad, and ever so slightly enraging, especially when the person runs through whole seasons of television episodes in one to two days flat.

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