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not a joke, but it seems the appropriate place for it, as i hope it would offend christians (at least the ones that understand what dereliction means ;))
CRUCIFIXION MALEDICTION
By Dorothy B. Thompson

Fixation with a crucifiction
Is obviously a learned addiction.
It's not just Christian jurisdiction,
Although they try to claim ascription,
Shed blood is common creed affliction.
When concocting dogma it's prefixion,
A finished touch to fine commixion.
I'd never make bizarre prediction
Of theology sans crucifixion.
No one would swallow such constriction.
Non-belief leads right to interdiction.
Bloody crosses do seem contradiction,
But, there's a trick to accepting fiction.
You must consent to brain dereliction.
If not, you'll surely face eviction
From church before the benediction.

Joseph: Oh great timing, lady! We travel all this way to be counted in a census by the backbiting Romans, and you decide to go into labor now. We haven't even found an inn to register at yet.
Mary: I don't know who is the bigger jack ass, you or this animal I am riding on. I am not made of cast iron, you know. After jostling around on the back of this donkey for 80 miles, of course I'm going to drop this kid now. The sooner the better.
Joseph: Well when it 's all over, just remind yourself of all I have had to put up with. After all, I have never even touched you.

a catholic preist and a rabbi were standing outside of a church when a 10 year old boy walks by. the preist turns to the rabbi and says "we should take that boy inside and fuck him!" and the rabbi says "out of what?"

Just in case you need to offend some Xians in the spring....What was the last thing Jesus said while hanging on the cross? Hey Peter - I can see all the way to your house from up here. (I never said it wasa good one - just guaranteed to offend them!)