So, I left my brain in neutral, and flipped the nitro switch on my suspension of disbelief. I set my expectations as low as they can go, and walked into the theater suspecting I would enjoy this Furious movie about as much as all the other Furious movies. As in, not very much.

This film, this series, are just not for me. I can’t find this nonsense entertaining. Whether it’s the hammy dialogue or the blatant disregard for the laws of physics, Furious movies have become a parody of themselves. And not in a goofy fun way. They operate on the same emotional and intellectual level of a fake wrestling match. Fake drama, fake rage, fake comradery. Good guys go rogue, bad guys get good, and there’s very little justification for any of it.

The fact that this production seems very self-aware of its own ridiculous premise, isn’t a get-out-movie-critic-jail-card. A movie about a ‘family’ of misfits and cool cars, doesn’t have to be this dumb or immature. Yet this film wears its childish idiocy like a badge of honor. As an action movie, Furious can’t deliver well-choreographed or edited close quarter fights, and the big stuff (car v sub) is just so over the top it’s pointless and looks, here’s that word again, fake.

Movie Prep:

If you’ve enjoyed the other movies in this series, then I have no doubt you’ll be entertained by this. Those looking for a good action film, look somewhere else. Go rent, The Raid 2 (2014) or Mad Max: Fury Road – now those are action films worth watching.

Worst Moment:

Everything with the submarine you see in the trailer is dumb. The fastest sub in the world is the Soviet K-222 (I Googled it), which can reach submerged speeds of 44.85 knots (52 mph). The sub in this film is somehow able to keep up with cars, including a Lamborghini, which had a massive head start.