A pair of Scottish politicians are headed for their own personal Antarctica after they were clobbered in an election by a man dressed as a penguin.

Mike Ferrigan, who used the name Professor Pongoo on the ballot for his local council election, easily outdistanced candidates from both the Green and Liberal Democrat parties. His only real campaign promise was to wear the costume to every single council meeting.

A sheriff’s deputy in South Carolina ended up running on empty after a boozy ride ended with him losing control of both his car and his bladder.

Nicholas Wagner wasn’t seriously injured but did take out 10 feet of guard rail in the wreck, which he tried to explain by saying he’d just had a bad night. When deputies began to question Wagner, one of them noticed a strong smell of alcohol and a wet spot on the front of his pants, which he admitted was the result of him soiling himself at some point in the evening.

Wagner’s gun was confiscated, and he was put on administrative leave. (WCIV)

A Minnesota man may have thought he was king of the jungle, but he ended up swinging right into a jail cell after cops busted him for cursing out neighbors as he mowed his lawn…wearing nothing but a revealing loincloth.

One of Matthew Swanson’s neighbors called police after the man allegedly exposed himself while doing his landscaping work and when officers arrived, he went ballistic, screaming obscenities at them and some children who were playing nearby. Earlier in the day, Swanson supposedly called 911 himself, purely to pepper dispatchers with four letter words.