1. The "I'm in an Uber Right Now": Rather than converse with the driver or respond to work emails that you've been neglecting, you send photos and/or videos of your reaction to being in the back of an Uber. Boy is your life full of surprises. And probably 2-star ratings as a passenger. Also, uh, thanks for sending this to me. It really provided value to my life.

2. The "I'm Shirtless": Yes, yes you are. You aren't currently wearing a shirt. Isn't that something? Upon becoming shirtless, you had the thought of sending a photograph of your 25.1 BMI-rated body to me in a Snapchat. And then you did. Would you mind going and asking your girlfriend to do this instead for me? Because, uh, I'm close to throwing up that Taco Bell drive-thru order I scarfed down way too fast in the back of my Uber.

3. The "Look, My Cat Doesn't Move": You have a cat. And naturally—to convince yourself that purchasing it wasn't the stupidest move in the world—you take photos of him sleeping on top of the microwave and Snapchat them, countless times a day, to everyone you know. Sorry, but not meow and not later will we ever care.

4. The "I'm Going to Try Out Every Filter in Order": Sepia, black and white, videos in reverse, banners of which neighborhood you're currently in … the list goes on. When Snapchat releases new options to filter photographs or videos with, you make sure to try 'em all and, in turn, send 'em all, one by one, to us. If only there was a place you could go to meet real people to hang out wi… oh wait! There is! It's called literally anywhere besides your couch.

5. The "They Put Up the Holiday Tree": When large trees with lights go up in a city square or a Nordstrom, it's your obligation to do a slow-pan video from the bottom to the top with the heart eyes emoji. Thanks. We've never seen a tree, so this is super helpful. How about trying to deck the halls with boughs of originality this year?