Isn't that the actress from the movie Delicatessen? (Chances are she hasn't seen that movie- and neither have you, but you will get brownie points naming a foreign film, and it will be just obtuse enough to distract her)

I think that's the girl I knew from high school who eventually joined a convent (or was committed to an asylum) and turned out to be a real nut cass

Help me, I got something in my eye... can't see a thing!

Hey that's the loser I dumped in order to go out with you. Boy am I glad I ever got away from her. What a moron.