NIGERIAN PRIMATES AND THEIR DAGGER-DANCE MATING RITUALS

CAN WE ASK THE REGIME TO DECLARE THIS NEANDERTHAL TYPE OF PREHISTORIC BEHAVIOR COMPULSORY WITH EVERY SEX-ACT IN THE LOCAL BLACK COMMUNITIES TOO? I MEAN- THEY ALL ARE MOS "BROTHERS?" WHY NOT SHARE THE SAME PREHISTORIC RITUALS TOO? I TAKE IT THIS IS STRICTLY AN "AFRICAN" THING- SO-WHY NOT SHARING WITH THE "BROTHERS?" AS A BONUS- WE BOERS CAN CHUCK IN SOME LIBERALS AND AFRIKANERS TOO...IF THEY DON'T MIND. I KNOW A COUPLE OF WHITE RATS I WOULD LIKE TO ADD- IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF:

Okay, so this is weird to say the least. Apparently, amid a spate of broken penises, Jamaican authorities have sprung into action to put a crackdown on the dance trend known as daggering.

A quick search for ‘daggering’ videos reveals (too) much about the dancehall craze. The style involves men and women aggressively dry-humping each other on dance floors and somehow calling it a dance style. And it’s not just the regular standing-grind you see on a weekly basis out on the town, it’s all different positions, performed with high energy and a clear disregard for future baby-making abilities. I mean, no wonder people are breaking their dongs, it’s all bones and cartilage down there. Yikes.

Before this morning, none of us here at ITM HQ had heard of daggering, let alone its brutal consequences on the male member. Maybe we’re slipping behind the times and have sadly missed this bizarre dance style. Or more likely, maybe we’re just kind of creeped out by dry-humping in clubs in general, and the thought of simulating (a disturbing variety of) sex positions and subsequently breaking our junk in public just doesn’t appeal. Funny that.

Only time will tell if the crackdown on daggering really halts the dance phenomenon’s spread. We’ll be keeping an eye on So You Think You Can Dance next year to see if the style makes it into the show for an R rated dance challenge.