Showing another side to Bobby! These are my personal favs; I'm very proud of myself for my sense of humor. Enjoy!

5. Trusting Bernie Madoff

4. Teaching Brett Favre to text

3. Dating Tiger Woods

2. Choosing Dr. Conrad Murray as your primary care physician

1. Hiring me

(Valentine, the former Director of Public Safety and Health for the city of Stamford, CT, is currently the former manager of the Boston Red Sox professional baseball club; he is considering a career in professional comedy.)

Ultimate Fighting in negotiations with PBS for children's show. "We think kids will love watching other kids kick one another in the face," said UFC president Dana White, "plus they'll learn about tattoos."

The American Delusional Narcissist Society is set to induct Alex Rodriguez and Donald Trump into its Hall of Fame, eTruesports has learned.

According to sources in Finland, Jameis Winston failed to qualify for the upcoming World Mobile Phone Throwing Championships in Savonlinna, FI.

Sarah Palin has called on the Westminster Kennel Club to ban Afghan Hounds from their 139th Annual Dog Show. "They're foreign," explained Palin.