An invitation to spit your mind out, in disgust or in jest, so long as you feel it is a wrong that must be corrected.

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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What Women Want

This is an old story. The situation may have changed somewhat but the motivations and predispositions remain the same. Some may have read this story before or have heard it mentioned in some casual conversation, but a retelling may rekindle the importance of its message and the significance of its impact. Men especially are confused as to what women really want. This would enlighten their minds.

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. He could have been killed but the monarch was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. The monarch offered him freedom as long as he could answer a very difficult question. He was given a full year to find the answer, and after such time, if he didn't have it, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex the most knowledgeable man and it seemed like an impossible query. But he agreed as it was better than death.Upon his return, Arthur polled everyone in the kingdom, the wise men, ministers, priests, jesters, prostitutes; but none could give a satisfactory answer. He was advised to ask the "Old Witch" who certainly was the only one who knew the answer. But she was notorious for charging an exorbitantly high price. The last day arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but her price was to be married to Sir Gawain, the most notable of the Round Table Knights and Arthur's closest friend. Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature and refused to have his friend endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, told Arthur that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Thus, their wedding was proclaimed and the witch gave the answer: "What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life".

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. The neighboring monarch gave Arthur his freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had. Arthur was torn between anguish and relief. Gawain was proper and courteous, but the witch put on her worst behavior and made everyone feel uncomfortable. The hour approached, and as Gawain steeled himself for a horrendous experience, he was astounded by the sight that greeted him at the bedroom. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him. The beautiful woman interrupted his thoughts and said that since he had been so kind to her as a witch, she would be her horrible deformed self half the time henceforth; and the other half, she would be the beautiful maiden herself. She then asked a cruel question: Which would you want me to be in the daytime? At nighttime, it would be the other half.

Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, while at night, in the privacy of his home, an ugly witch? Or would it be better to have a hideous witch during the day, while at night have a beautiful woman to share intimate moments with? Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life!

The moral of this story is: If a woman doesn't get her way, things can get ugly.

Normally, people return an ugly word or deed with the same type and intensity as it was dished out. Some realize their mistake after such a reaction, at other times, they just reinforce or defend it with a more virulent one. And it never stops.

You are right about some men who either forget or really don't have any respect for women. That's probably why God created man first. It was a rough draft before making the final copy.:-) --Durano, done!

Women become witches only when men become deceitful and unfaithful, I think. If this transpired after an initial failed relationship, woe to the man who comes next. But like most people, men or women, they can change. Sometimes a wrong person can give a false generalization and we have to remember to view people as individuals, not as sets or species.

I feel that women deserve equality and respect and should be given the right to take charge of their own life. A relationship requires a clarification by both parties of the kind of life they mutually agree to live and share.:-)--Durano, done!

oops... sorry about that... I hit enter with only one word in the comment *blush*

You said:

"That's probably why God created man first. It was a rough draft before making the final copy.:-)"

Funny! God making a test model before making it right ;)

Great post btw... I think a woman gets ugly if she is full of insecurities. I really don't see the need to lash out and you know one of my biggest things is learning how to be emotionally intelligent. Before I started on my personal development journey, I could lash out at anything.. well almost anything! Learning how to be in control of your emotions and being able to change your state to be empowering rather than dis-empowering gives you more respect.

I always make the women decide and if my stomach can take it, she gets her way.

I never make the mistake of asking them what they want. As a lawyer's rule in cross examination goes "Don't ask any question if you don't know what the answer will be and can't benefit from it!"

Besides, I already know what my women want. And that one, I can't all the time afford. It's diamonds, geeky stuff and travel! -- all of those, i simply give them. Asking might result to a bigger stone and more expensive stuff. -- kidding, of course!:D

I most certainly agree with your statements. Being in control of your emotions, you can control the behavior or emotions of others; then you have control of the situation and lead it to where you want it to go.

That is the empowering part. Losing your temper and showing that you lost it, makes you look unrestrained and less mature; and are least likely to control others, much less the situation.

But it's often nice to release these anger when I'm all by myself. LOL! :-) --Durano, done!

So you agree with the witch like everyone else? I believe it's a common feeling and actually true, especially in these times. A lot of men just don't behave like men and could hardly be counted upon. Most were raised as brats by their Mom's who doted on them and gave them all they wanted even before they could think of asking. That's because they could not dote on the husband who was being doted upon by another.:-)

The son grows up and expects to get the same treatment as his mom gave him, and leeway to enjoy himself.As he grows older, he develops into a useless bum his wife is trapped with. Now she wants control of her life.

I made a whole generational piece out of this haven't I? That's it,no more speculations. :-) --Durano, done!

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About this Blog

Spitting vessels were part of the Asian cultures for many centuries, emanating from China to the Southeast Malay countries.
For all the many things that are difficult to swallow in this world that leave a bad taste in the mouth, here's a spittoon to expectorate it.

I am Durano Lawayan a.k.a. Brad Spit

My orientation is that of a management consultant. I am naturally drawn towards change for as long as it is sustainable and possesses real long term benefits. If we have to change by going back to basics like organic food, less transfat, zero carbon emissions, I'm all for it.

There are many things we have been made to accept, drummed into our brains since we were kids; that these were true, unchangeable, and permanent. Well nothing is permanent and anything can be changed. What was true before may be uncovered today for the phoniness that it was and is. I keep a questioning attitude and a persistent orientation, balanced by a positive outlook.

I love to laugh and enjoy life, and hope the pain brought about by what is wrong in this world is somehow diluted by this merriment.

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