I am the First Lady of HR with a stellar career.
"People" is my middle name, on Tuesdays.
"Save a dollar, save a dime, spending cash is a corporate crime"

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Similarites between Procurement and HR

Now it's clear-mais oui

In the framework of aligning our organization with success, the cunning Winston Wu, Head of IT wiggled out of my control and now reports into CEO Stan, who is showing more weakness as of late. (Stan appears to have studied with Obama in the "Wavering 101" class).

To sooth my wounded ego, Ms Sarah M. Barracuda, the Head of Procurement, will report into me. Sarah is a one rung above Ms Cynthia Axe, Head of our Early Bird Retirement Plan.

Ms Barracuda has been reticent to adapt to the global and sustainable modus operandi of HR, which is not a French word.

Ms Barracuda texted me yesterday, ccing Stan, that she "cannot see the synergies" between HR and Procurement.

Barracuda also texted me that she "does not see herself as a member of the same team as that heinous Cynthia Axe".

However, Ms Barracuda had a semi wow one on one with me today, after which she issued the following email:

To Stan

CC Gloria; Cynthia; all procurement

Dear Stan,

I met with Gloria today in a most productive meeting. My understanding is that Procurement needs to migrate to the level of trust that our company has with employers over to our suppliers!

This means that our suppliers are to be paid in a cost effective manner, in a spirit of trust, globally, sustainability and in line with core values, which are linked to our cash flow. So, instead of one strategic vendor per cluster of items, we will now have seven tactical and global vendors per item procured, in line with our core values of sustainability.

I understand that my former Galaxy 4 is confiscated in a wow manner; I will get a "stable" Nokia.

I understand that your first class travel is dealt with "independently" in line with our core values.

Stan, I must thank you for the chance I will have to work with Cynthia Axe, who is joining Procurement as a senior buyer for the next month to serve as my life coach, and my chief liaison to strategic vendors. This should be a learning axe-perience. And many thanks to Glo for making this so clear.