Article Reflection: Why I’m Not Quite Done With Church Yet

Do you ever have those moments where you really start to question … everything? Your faith. Your purpose. Your reasoning for the things you do? What am I even doing here? Why do I even associate with a religion that sometimes doesn’t seem to align with what I believe or how I think we should act (or how I want us to anyways)? I question my faith from time to time. I think most of us (I hope) do. I get frustrated with fundamentalism, old rules and processes. Sometimes when I face resistance to my beliefs or people who don’t see my vision as clearly, I feel irritated and impatient. I wonder: why do I even bother? I could just as easily… move on. Walk away.

A mentor of mine identified a cynic as being “a broken-hearted idealist”. That hit home for me in that moment.

I think many of my cynical thoughts come from hurt feelings or disappointments. There are times I question. I re-consider. I get upset. My heart breaks. My vision crushed. But, still, I am here. Sometimes I wonder what it is that keeps me here.