tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47807423509305963932018-01-15T10:05:28.364-08:00Lets chat about relationships!Love, Life, FamilyTeniola Olanubinoreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-84927714443049231002017-05-19T06:06:00.000-07:002017-05-19T06:06:15.358-07:00Why the strong desire for validation?Really dont know where to begin this post but i know i have been reading about failed marriages and domestic violence and i remember having a very lengthy conversation with few colleagues and we concluded social media is playing a big role and its always the strong desire for validation<br /><br />My own take was, why the need to record yourself and send to millions of people you dont know and sit down to read the validation. I always do not get that part.<br /><br />Moving forward, why the desire for validation and this doesn't just happen to artist, even regular people, poor , rich, weak, strong. As much as i want to agree as humans we all need some form of validation because we are all roller coasting through different type of needs, physical, emotional even spiritual and whether we like it or not, to get validation is one of the strongest force driving mankind<br /><br />I agree positive feedback about ourself, work or even events could strengthen us on the inside than negative feedbacks which might threaten our inner peace and sense of security but as for me this is where self esteem comes to play. I have always questioned people's opinion of me and ask myself they are also not perfect people so why should i accept their assumptions as right and mine wrong or why should i think they not bias. I have made up my mind long time ago to only care about what God says about me<br /><br />First be your own hero before you look for heroes anywhere because when you refuse to know who you are then people will tell you who you are and even tell you your worth.<br /><br />This isnt to completely rid you of getting validated but you must first make up your mind before you seek approval. Its not bad in itself to seek validation but definately never seek for people's opinion from a vulnerable state because we humans constantly need support for our many needs.<br /><br />Oh, the havoc that social media does to self esteem by boosting social acceptance and giving in to society pressure is alarming these days, social media is no doubt a channel of communication and important in our daily lives but its also disturbing to realise that some people really accept the ratings of their precious lives by mere likes.<br /><br />Social media is not real life thank God you know there are filters that allow users edit and brighthen their reality on social media. In a nutshell i would say any behaviour you have that is contrary to your identity, &nbsp;purpose or core beliefs is because you seek approval from someone else as i like to say race isnt just black and white because we have many other skin colors.<br /><br />It is nice to get the approval from others but first make sure you have self approval and respect for yourself. Remember as humans we have a natural tendency to be influenced by our own unique experiences,perceptions, motivations etc. You live in your own skin, think freely, your own thoughts and make your decisions but this isnt to say you should ignore everyone and listen to no one but you should be careful who and what you seek validation from.<br /><br />Share with me your take on why humans have a strong desire for validationTeniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-80285522774776206612016-08-08T07:14:00.000-07:002016-08-08T07:18:00.564-07:00DO IT AFRAID BY ALL MEANS!!DO IT AFRAID! I stumbled on this quote on instagram last week from a nigerian publisher Betty Irabor and this kept me wondering. Every one needs to know, its ok to feel fear or scared at some point<br /><div><br /></div><div>At every stage in our lives, we worry about something. We ponder on it endlessly and find the answers within us but other times we can't bring ourselves to the reality of the 'what ifs' which always bring us to the conclusion or solution of aborting the process of doing/thinking it through and finding a solution. We worry about the mountain, the rocks, the lows, the shame, the unknown. Why do we do it? &nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Do it afraid is definitely talking to you. Do it anyway! Yes go ahead with the plan. Face the fear. Ignore the fear and the feeling it brings, its not real. You can only conquer it by facing it headlong. I remember just how scared i get sometimes when am trying out a new concept or idea, i have had my many failings at things but i would say i consistently fail forward always. I would say the failing experiences has always brought a greater glory or success in the long run. There's always a lesson in failure. Deal with fear that way. Look it right in the face.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nEduBOO6dV0/V6iOOFSqN9I/AAAAAAAAANQ/eTXAqhLBnX88o0BFHsM4ysIABVwyLHN4ACLcB/s1600/download.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nEduBOO6dV0/V6iOOFSqN9I/AAAAAAAAANQ/eTXAqhLBnX88o0BFHsM4ysIABVwyLHN4ACLcB/s400/download.png" width="320" /></a></div><div>Its an endless list if we go through the many things we are always afraid to do. On a lighter note, I learnt how to swim as an adult. Did i almost drown while learning? Yes! Did i quit the process because of some water going through my nose? Hell No! Do i swim like a pro now? Yes. Many successes you see today were nothing but a CONSISTENT TRIAL WITHOUT FEAR and don't beat yourself too hard. Everyone is scared of something so you are not alone, the difference are the ones who DO IT AFRIAD</div><div><br /></div><div>DO IT AFRAID by all means. Thank God for Christ who liberates us. There is nothing and no one to fear but GOD. Take the leap and conquer the voices that brings you down. Remember to relate it to your career, life, and love and deal with every fear accordingly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Have a fabulous August darlings. Thanks for reading and following my blog. i will keep struggling to stay consistent on blogging. Thanks for emails but also remember to leave a comment.</div><div><br /></div><div>Pls share your fears with me</div><div><br /></div>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-90773319419692536122016-03-11T04:59:00.000-08:002016-03-11T04:59:15.972-08:00The Control Freaks In Our Lives Is it ok to say Happy New Year in March.... Yes I guess (giggles). Missed you all so much my darlings. Got few mails from some of you asking me why there's nothing new to be read since last year. I'm sorry for my AWOL behaviour. Busy is the only excuse! Work... Home... Married life... Career has kept my beautiful fingers away from blogging. I trust you are all fabulously living life and thanking God for every blessings.<br /><br />Today will be about the control freaks in the world, was on the phone with&nbsp;a friend who shared how controlling her boss has been and we ended the convo with how to deal with these control freaks<br /><br />Control freak is someone who wants to dictate how everything should be done around them. These controlling humans could be a brother,&nbsp;sister, friend, boss, in-law, biz partner&nbsp;etc.&nbsp;&nbsp;and they literally think the world ends at their feet. The best way out is to learn how to deal with such people who just wanna stress you out. Its all about staying calm and trying as much as possible to avoid situations if you can.&nbsp;These people suffer from attention syndrome and that's a big mental issue. Here are ways to handle them <br /><br /><br />Respect is a big issue for these people and don't you worry about you because its not you nor&nbsp;the issues they create, its simply a distrust in the ability of others to do what they expect of them. They have great expectations and have a picture in their mind of what and how things should be. Anything short of that will bring out that controlling habit. They tend to see themselves perfectly hence judging people imperfectly. They do not trust anyone can do a better job than they can and would stop at nothing to bring down who ever is a threat to their strength and interests.<br />They criticize everything and have a sense of superiority and power to do everything and hates when things slide outside their consent or instructions.<br /><br />Seek professional help&nbsp;for them. This could be done indirectly especially if the person is an adult who is older than you by talking to someone who can help them see their controlling tendencies. Controlling people tends to blame other people for their own inadequacies so if the person is a boss or an older adult, you might wanna find a great way to go about professional help <br /><br />You can easily identify controlling people around you if they make you feel childlike whenever they are around. They&nbsp;tend to&nbsp;ignore your skills and rights because they are out to impress their own abilities over yours.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cq2syCTaakM/VuK74JoZPiI/AAAAAAAAANA/L_VV4qvMa8I33LprrYExa6g1ZMlnVBI3A/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cq2syCTaakM/VuK74JoZPiI/AAAAAAAAANA/L_VV4qvMa8I33LprrYExa6g1ZMlnVBI3A/s400/untitled.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />Be aware that nice people can be bossy. Some controlling people are nice and tends to use it to their advantage because they love to be in charge. They present themselves as the voice of reason&nbsp; and lets you know you are completely unreasonable. Some of these controlling people are very insecure and unhappy as a result of things not falling at their feet every time. They fight it thoroughly with all their strength <br /><br />Lastly, no matter how these controlling person make you feel, remind yourself they are just&nbsp;one of the people in the world who know you and so you must realize your value is not derived from this person or their action and reactions. You need to avoid their behaviour as much as you can. They are toxic to your total well being and you should embrace where the love and freedom is especially if you have to deal with.<br /><br />Remember to look&nbsp;on the bright side which may require creativity but you'll find that a bossy person who understands you have got their measure and that you&nbsp;wont stop being the optimistic person that you are will eventually&nbsp;cease to see you as a threat in their anxiety or controlling&nbsp;mind.<br /><br /><br />Share with me&nbsp;the controlling freaks you have in your life? How do you manage them?Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-54971238077801655132015-08-20T06:51:00.003-07:002015-08-20T06:51:51.267-07:00Find your support system and de-stress yourself today!Hey guys, longtime no posts! Hehehe. I have been wanting to come back on here but you know how life just keeps you too busy. Yes busy is good but we should also find a balance and share our innermost curiosity. I trust you are all fabulously living life in your own way.<br /><br />I had bumped into a friend last week, i saw someone trying bash me on the side and deliberately, who does that, just to draw attention? Who? Hehehe, oh well, my long time friend did! i have the most weirdest and amazing friends i tell you. She had seen me and there was no way she could hit me up but to bash me and after she got my attention i remember asking her, you could have just facebooked me! Anyway, to cut the boring story short while having a drink she shared a touching story about her work travails and how having support system can be a life saver<br /><br />Having a support system is like opening up your soul to someone you trust and who has your best interest. You might wanna ask me how to find a support system in this crazy times where we all try to keep up with mediocrity and back stabbers.<br /><br />You wont need to travel too far to identify your support system because all you need to do is identify the few people in your life who are always available at your beck and call, the few people who encourage you, yes, its the few ones who love you as you are and have their hearts and doors open to you for your many troubles and extravagances. People who support you have no time to judge you, they are not waiting for you to fail, they are the cheerleaders whose claps and voices resound in your down-times.<br /><br />Support can come in many forms, some find in their partners, others in their family while some look for social groups to find that special connection and yes others find support from a friend who stick closer than a brother<br /><br />Whoever you are, and what ever you do, find a support system for your life, it allows you share your innermost burden that stresses you. It allows you breathe easy. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Ec4GFHkMqU/VdNDzu-y-RI/AAAAAAAAAMs/ASOul9j05O0/s1600/1171725_398644590270998_670511222_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Ec4GFHkMqU/VdNDzu-y-RI/AAAAAAAAAMs/ASOul9j05O0/s1600/1171725_398644590270998_670511222_n.jpg" /></a></div>Dont just keep your worries and stress all bottled up inside you. Learn to share with the special people in your life becuase it would de-stress you. Yes sharing is powerful but sharing with the right person is magical.<br /><br />When last did you have a heartfelt conversation with that one person? Who? share your support system experience with me. Yes or Nay?<br /><br /><br /><br />Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-84432336506785773632015-05-03T20:34:00.000-07:002015-05-03T20:34:03.735-07:00Forgiving without getting an apology!Hello 'bloghearts'! 2015 coming good? Trust you are going hard at your goals and dreams<br />Trust you are living and loving, Trust you are breathing and letting God. Hehehe! I have been doing all of the above cos i know you would all wanna throw me that saying 'practice what you preach' Hehehe! ok!<br /><br />Reminds me how important it is to forgive without an apology. Some of you might have gone through situations where you were really hurt and hey, there you are thinking, i will just never forgive nor forget. Ok dont forget but you have got to forgive. Now, that's easier said than done.<br /><br />Imagine the many scenarios of people hurting us. What makes it complex is never the act itself, its in the reaction we get from the people who hurt us and for them its always ego standing in the way of immediately apologizing and we all know the longer the time clocks on it the more difficult it is for them to apologize and for us to accept and forget but we have got to find a way to move on. Its ok to not lie to yourself about the real issue, its sometimes also ok to let them know and its also ok for you to get bitter or angry about it depending on how bitter you feel.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6ntWCIJtj4M/VUbn9Ss4bMI/AAAAAAAAAMY/hzppQRGm4eE/s1600/10362273_604676289639936_339070930_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6ntWCIJtj4M/VUbn9Ss4bMI/AAAAAAAAAMY/hzppQRGm4eE/s1600/10362273_604676289639936_339070930_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br />When you choose to release bitterness and anger when hurt, you are doing more good to yourself than the person who hurt you.<br />Identify the hurt, allow yourself to go through whatever pain or anger you are feeling, let go of the anger, replace it with compassion (this is difficult but not impossible)<br />Forgive and this means giving up your desire to revenge and letting go of your expectations that they will make amends or apologize and finally breath easy and tell yourself you are stronger than whoever hurt you. Easy right? No! But these are the only ways we can forgive without an apology.<br />So get to work. If you can practice these steps once, you will get better everytime. Remember forgiveness is applicable to work, family and love relationships. So lets go and get forgiving.... right away!<br /><br />Share your forgiving challenges with meTeniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-51248291170178232202015-01-20T04:17:00.001-08:002015-01-20T04:18:03.938-08:00How to keep single friends after marriageHappy new year darlings. This is my first post in 2015. Oh! i trust you would wanna ask how life has been treating me. Well oh well.... Fabulous!!! *echo*<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PaYWMTDn05A/VL5Gu3zsJ7I/AAAAAAAAAL0/WRyJBlWLENA/s1600/flash_0180-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PaYWMTDn05A/VL5Gu3zsJ7I/AAAAAAAAAL0/WRyJBlWLENA/s1600/flash_0180-001.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a>&nbsp;</div><br />Life stages and the changes it brings but here,s todays question. Whats your marital life got to do with keeping your friendships. i hear people say i have no time to hang out, i have no time to call, my husband and baby take all the time. Work is more hectic than it used to be and blah blah blah. I'm gonna be a lil bit in your face and say friendships too require same work you have with that priority list<br /><br />I asked few singles how they feel about their married friends and i gathered all these for the married friends.<br /><br />Dont ignore your single friends on a couples date night - Yes they wanna have fun like everyone else regardless of their marital status. Don't worry about how they would feel without a partner. Its their headache not yours.<br /><br />Dont bore them with married talks - They wanna be an individual and see you as one. Wear their shoes and talk freely on other things. Dont bring your spouse is great in bed stories to them. They dont wanna know as it reminds them how lonely their sexual life is. Be an individual around your single friends till they ask you questions about marriage. Dont bore your friends.<br /><br />Dont be a teacher because you are married - Dont give them the 'my formula to finding mr right'. If it worked for you it might not work for them. We all know that love and especially finding and marrying and then staying married isnt some sort of formula you learn in school so let them enjoy their singleton in peace. Suggest and introduce but don't teach.<br /><br />Hehehe endless you will say... what are you guilty of as a married friend to your single friends or vice versa. Share with me.Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-71938942065375369152014-06-05T06:11:00.000-07:002014-06-05T06:11:25.322-07:00Find out about The Boy you Date and the Man you marry!Being in love has been said to be an exciting adventure. Talk about the thrills, the fun, the sacrifice, the laughter and a sense of companionship all rolled into one. Now the question on if marriage should be more fun than dating. Married couples have given different stories and since singles have no idea what to expect in marriage. We are gonna find out about the boy you date and the man you marry for the singles still dating and looking to settle down cos no one wants to miss out on a man for an immature boy<br /><br />The boy you date wont commit himself hence he only wants to hang out and get fun or anything you can give<br /><br />The man you marry asks you out on a date to shares his intention and to know if you can have a future ride together.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eM8jVK46VzE/U5BrfoLMqXI/AAAAAAAAALY/sR7aqiI-SGY/s1600/handsome-young-guy-asking-question-16067403.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eM8jVK46VzE/U5BrfoLMqXI/AAAAAAAAALY/sR7aqiI-SGY/s1600/handsome-young-guy-asking-question-16067403.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div><br /><br />The boy you date talks with you on lighter levels because he cant bring himself to give u a wrong impression about the future<br /><br />The man you marry will talk with you on deeper levels because he is interested in you and would like to know how you can both fit in perfectly for the future<br /><br />The boy you date wont take responsibility for your moods or emotions. He's only there for a short while so he guards his own interests over yours<br /><br />The man you marry will show you how he would be there for you even through your bad days and can handle your attitudes or life crisis<br /><br />The boy you date will defend himself and attack you when angry to feel good about himself<br /><br />The man you marry will fight you fairly and would never attack you no matter how angry he gets<br /><br />The boy you date loves your looks and complains when you are looking less<br /><br />The man you marry loves your soul and does not mind your bad hair days<br /><br />The boy you date thinks you are his nanny and doesnt like to take his bills<br /><br />The man you marry takes his bills and spoils you - because he's already a man<br /><br />The boy you date isnt ready to meet your family and you are not sure you want him to meet them<br /><br />The man you marry wants to meet your family and impress them<br /><br />The boy you date is the perfect Mr Right in looks<br /><br />The man you marry is never a sure thing. You worry if he's right and if you should settle down with him<br /><br />The boy you date lets you talk but does not listen to you<br /><br />The man you marry will listen to what you have to say from the major issues to tiny moments of your day<br /><br />The boy you date never gives you security. You cant vouch for him or what he can be up to when you are not with him<br /><br />The man you marry makes you secure and you trust him. You will always know he loves you and you two can make it through anything.<br /><br />So do remember to settle for a man when its time! Share your thoughts with me and Happy new month darlings.<br /><br />Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-50569311760392059942014-04-09T16:05:00.002-07:002014-04-09T16:10:48.256-07:00A quiz for every woman!I stumbled on this quiz online and I though to share it. I can't stop laughing. The results are so hilarious. I bet you wanna check it out yourself.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GbnVrURlsu8/Uyb7eT6SR4I/AAAAAAAAAJw/c7Yeu1qFinc/s1600/article-step-by-step-ds-photo-getty-article-190-17-164208152_XS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GbnVrURlsu8/Uyb7eT6SR4I/AAAAAAAAAJw/c7Yeu1qFinc/s1600/article-step-by-step-ds-photo-getty-article-190-17-164208152_XS.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hey make sure you share your results with me. I will be waiting to read from all of u. What female stereotype are you? Take the quiz&nbsp;<a href="http://www.chacha.com/quiz/1231/which-female-stereotype-are-you" target="_blank">here</a>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-1076672066381245492014-03-18T09:20:00.000-07:002014-03-18T09:20:03.901-07:00Should women take their husband's last names?Quick one guys, a lot of female complain about having to lose their maiden names after marriage. Traditionally, a female must change to her husband's name after marriage but in modern times most female merge their maiden n married names. e.g Funke(birth name) Ojo(maiden name) Chukwu(Husband's name) - Funke Ojo Chukwu! Hahaha. I find married and maiden names bearer very stylish but hey is it a problem or should be overlooked <br /><br />A married name is a family name or surname adopted by a person upon marriage. When a person (traditionally, the wife) assumes the family name of his or her spouse, that name replaces the person's birth name which in the case of the wife is usually referred to as the maiden name<b>.</b><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F00q2QBEF5c/UyhyDWgQB_I/AAAAAAAAAKE/EcuXRrrAS2M/s1600/married.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F00q2QBEF5c/UyhyDWgQB_I/AAAAAAAAAKE/EcuXRrrAS2M/s1600/married.jpg" /></a></div><br />Some husband are flexible with how the wife chooses to blend the names while some just want them to forget about their maiden name completely.<b> </b><br /><br />How sad? Right? Errr why does the female have to change name her maiden name to her husband's family name. Modern wives tend to blend their names. Ah ha! Seems women are fighting to let parents know they are still a part of the family and not sold out to a new family or is it a case of not wanting to be lost in a world of new family name as an adult. Lol.<br /><br /><br />Whats your take. Blending names or Married names. Should women take their husband's last name? What works for you as the wife or husband?Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-42018678085129095992014-03-17T06:53:00.001-07:002014-03-17T06:53:24.083-07:00Mood swings getting in your way?Hey readers.... been a looooonnnnnng minute. Pls pardon me my darlings. Blame me NOT! Hehehe. Trust me to bring you some fun mind thrillers. How was your valentine. Hope y'all are truly loving and living. Wanna help y'all start your week right by giving you tips on how to manage your mood swings<br /><br />No one is an island, <span id="hotword"><span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">no</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">one</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">is</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">self-sufficient;</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">everyone</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">relies</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">on</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">others. So here's the trick. Mood swings </span></span>is the changes in a person's mood. Most people experience mood changes from time to time but research says women are more likely than men to experience irritability and mood swings.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LYO_may5aws/Uyb9ZXIrW4I/AAAAAAAAAJ0/qiQ8UrCdnps/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LYO_may5aws/Uyb9ZXIrW4I/AAAAAAAAAJ0/qiQ8UrCdnps/s1600/images.jpg" /></a>The good news is, mood swings isn't that bad if u work on controlling it and consciously bringing your joy fluids back to work.<br /><br /><br />Mood swings can be caused by anything,<br /><ul><li>from getting your lovely dress spilled</li><li>&nbsp;to arguing with someone who disagrees with your views</li><li>&nbsp;to missing a very important deal or appointment</li><li>&nbsp;to getting overworked</li><li>&nbsp;to having just a headache, depression ......the list is endless.</li></ul>Here we go, getting rid of mood swings! Are you a regular moody person? You need to learn how to consciously keep a <b>MOOD LOG</b>. Take a deep breath and try <b>RECOLLECT</b> what got you into that moody state. Now put yourself in a mental state for it to reoccur and then <b>CORRECT</b> your mood from that mental state. Play it all out in your mind and <b>FLUSH OUT</b> whatever triggered it in the first. The more you are able to take the correction steps, the more you would choose positive choices anytime you get a mood swing. You can also completely blot out whatever put you in a moody state and invest all your energy and presence on something that brings you <b>GOOD VIBES</b><br /><br />E.g Your boss just made a nasty comment about you and you feel sad and discouraged. Just find a peace place in your mind and recall the good comments your boss has said to you in the past. Make peace with your boss in that mental state and move on to people that would give you the good vibes your senses need from there on. <br /><br />Healthy people snap out of mood swings than others because their body is light and free. So learn to drink enough water daily, exercise your body and feed your soul. Stay healthy and avoid mood swings.<br /><br />Your turn! How long does your mood swing last? What do you do to control your mood swing?<br /><br /><br /><br />Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-71890227546530866072014-01-14T15:31:00.000-08:002014-01-14T15:33:37.808-08:00Should she worry about an engaged ex?<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Hello Teniola,&nbsp;</i></span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>I have been following your blog for few months now. I saw your post about relationships on Facebook. I hope I get answers on your blog.</i></span><br /><i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></i><i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My boyfriend's ex recently moved to town and she is part of his group of friends from school. I have expressed jealousy and concern over her presence in his life. I have been dating him for 9months now. She is engaged but my worry isn't about her doing anything.&nbsp;</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My fear is that he is fooling himself and he has a special feelings for her that will keep us from being able to forge something new. I have never believed in being good friends with an ex and need to be more open-minded. Maybe it is because this is an especially close group of friends and I don't feel like I fit in.</span></i><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Should I just work to get over my jealousy since he has assured me again and again that I have nothing to worry about? Or, since the jealousy really stems from my insecurities, is this something that will be impossible for me to get past until I take time to be by myself? Some people say that it is OK to be friends with an ex, others say it can't be done without there being some kind of intimate feelings there. Pls can you share my worries with your readers? I would like to hear your opinion and everyone else.</i></span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i><br /></i></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Thank you</i></span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Shy girl!&nbsp;</i></span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hello Shy chic,</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I would quote you in your own words. 'Should I just work to get over my jealousy since he has assured me again and again that I have nothing to worry about?'. You shouldn't be your own problem my dear. Go out with his friends and forget about his ex. You are in a relationship with him not with&nbsp;</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">everyone else. Focus on him. You can also share your insecurities with him so he can help you through the social outing and worries. Goodluck!</span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Teniola.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Guys pls give shy chic an advice. Should she worry about an engaged ex?</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-10430279785585612092014-01-12T03:12:00.003-08:002014-01-13T00:56:14.282-08:00Love yourself! <br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I was at a friend's office last week for a creative meeting. Yes after work we got on the gurly chit chats about love and life. She told me how she manages to make herself happy. She's been married for 4 yrs. Kemi told me how she takes it upon herself to make her family happy. She also stressed how important it is to love oneself. This brings me to my first topic of the year.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Loving yourself is much more than style, material possession, career, a designer bag. It's more than the relationship you are in. Loving yourself is acceptance and contentment of who you are and will become. It's about your amazing traits and flaws all boxed into one without worry. Loving yourself is the beginning of living as that transcends to all other areas of your life.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JBsBmbm_d-w/UtJNbgist6I/AAAAAAAAAJA/ZDqF2RVSgKU/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JBsBmbm_d-w/UtJNbgist6I/AAAAAAAAAJA/ZDqF2RVSgKU/s1600/image.jpg" /></a></div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Loving yourself might be a process.... Do not over love yourself at the expense of others. Loving yourself is a sense of self that's just confident. If you feel too fat this year, that should not be a problem at all. All you need do is love that excess till you lose it. Just love you.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">No matter your status you must continue to feel good about yourself because if you cannot do it for yourself, someone somewhere will do the appraisal for you according to their own beliefs. They will tell you your worth and value</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Always pay attention to your needs. Be aware of your nature and cravings. If you satisfy your needs you will be happy with your self. Do not create baseless needs. You might wanna differentiate the&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">meaning of NEED and WANT. Hehehe don't want you getting worked up over your wants. They will come. Give time some time but it's your responsibility to satisfy your NEEDS.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Honour what you believe to be right and best for you even though it may be different from that of your mate (or others). It's ok! We are all different people&nbsp;</span><br /><div style="margin: 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Feed your soul daily. Free your mind of changing the world or buying the latest house in town. Do something recreational. Set your soul free from worry. Focus on what you have that makes you feel good. Enjoy the outdoors and appreciate life.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sleep well, eat well, exercise, laugh and drink water.&nbsp;Say no without feeling bad. Say yes only if you w</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">ant to. Live your life first before you consider others.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This applies to love relationships as loving yourself will increase your capacity to love another. You can only give love from the abundance you have within you</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Don't wait a second! Start loving you. You owe yourself that this yr! What self love have you been denying yourself?&nbsp;</span></div>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-76591633274548241312013-12-26T15:51:00.003-08:002013-12-26T15:51:36.285-08:00Happy holidays darling readers!I'm guilty of being AWOL! Yes and I apologize for the silence. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year.<br /><br />Christmas season is a time you get homesick, Christmas is all about family, hope, love and charitable causes. Christmas use to be about receiving gifts for me but now I would rather be a Santa and help make people smile. Christmas is that little gift that cost you nothing or so much just to make the other happy. Christmas is the laughter we share.<br /><br />Oh! Christmas is when everyone is merry around you. The hugs, the visits, the warm messages of love.<br /><br />Christmas is a season of love and that's because God gave us his only begotten son as a sign of his unconditional love for us.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vW3Bw6Q710g/UrzAKbLpDNI/AAAAAAAAAIw/WVGAqbmAPps/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vW3Bw6Q710g/UrzAKbLpDNI/AAAAAAAAAIw/WVGAqbmAPps/s1600/image.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Christmas is forever, not for just one day,&nbsp;for loving, sharing, giving.&nbsp;</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The good you do for others is good you do for yourself...</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind.&nbsp; To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in love, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. &nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I hope and pray the holidays brings millions of reason to smile.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>Stay well and safe!<br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What's Christmas to you?</span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-23692663721492063802013-12-11T15:37:00.001-08:002013-12-11T16:26:47.402-08:00My tribute to NELSON MANDELA Today there's nothing else to write about but the passing of NELSON MANDELA.<br />.....i write this tribute because I never met this great man, oh that really hurts. I will console myself with his inspiring quotes. Oh well, Obama also met him for the first time in May 2005 so dear Teni it's ok. Don't feel too bad.<br /><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For the first time I can't find words to express myself. I do feel a huge loss as I also never met Madiba. I grew up with his quotes, works and extraordinary leadership. He lived well and left a legacy. I am inspired by his life which was all about not living in fear but facing his challenges headstrong and conquering it.</span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XKLZglklmrQ/Uqj1jGxQOHI/AAAAAAAAAIg/yR01lTzGBsM/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XKLZglklmrQ/Uqj1jGxQOHI/AAAAAAAAAIg/yR01lTzGBsM/s200/image.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I know 27 yrs in prison must have broken him to the true legend he was. If I met him I would have asked him how he managed to miss almost three decades of his life, how he was able to forgive and still catch up with Life.</span></div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Madiba, your message of peace, truth, freedom and hope lives on with me and the entire world even in the hearts of generation unborn. Sleep on Madiba. The world will miss you greatly. Rest in the bosom of your lord.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Thank you 'Tata'. Such greatness! I salute you.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My top Nelson Mandela quote will be 'it always seem impossible until it's done'. What's yours?</span><br /><br /><br />NELSON MANDELA's biography......<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Mandela" target="_blank">Read here</a><br /><a name='more'></a>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-50308996298206475832013-12-04T15:38:00.000-08:002013-12-04T15:51:12.045-08:00Stress 'test' him to know if he loves you<div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So here I am today....... Wondering what topic is next! *sigh*.............. I have a thought in my head.... It's kinda unprocessed. Ok let me try to bring it together. How to 'Stress test' your man.... Errr I mean stress him to find out if he loves you, that sounds better.</span></div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;">I know some girls are just naturally laid back with guys. Same way some won't give you that hard to get routine during the chase. Here's how to Stress test your man to know if he loves you.</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZxSFZjUnX_k/Up55A4u0w7I/AAAAAAAAAE8/Y5n4LGVEzCA/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZxSFZjUnX_k/Up55A4u0w7I/AAAAAAAAAE8/Y5n4LGVEzCA/s400/image.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><br /></div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><b>Pick up a fight and just be silly! </b>- This helps you realize what type of guy you are dealing with; if he doesn't calm you down and act like a mature person. You will have loads of baseless fights in the future. If he can handle your silly moods. Keep him!</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><b>Get him angry</b> - This is his temperament check. You don't wanna get married to a guy you hardly know. I know there are lots of ladies who are quiet in nature and wouldn't hurt a fly let alone get a man angry. Yes it's ok to know his temperament by getting him VERY angry. Get to know the worse he can do when angry.&nbsp;</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><b>Let him go an extra mile for you</b> - This will show his indulgence meter. Your man must indulge you. If he can't come out of his way for you. He doesn't really care. A man that truly loves you will care for you all the way. Get him to do something you know is inconvenient for him</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><b>Let him wait for you during a date</b> - Know how his mood affects interaction or fun. I'm not talking about a 5mins delay. I'm saying you deliberately delay him and get him angry before a date or some planned out fun. See how he switches through his usual mood after you apologize for the delay. If he sulks all through the date..... Oh we'll..that's not good.</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><b>Be at your worse</b> - See how much of a hero he can be. Yes let him come save you. Give him some challenges that test his strength. Find out how much of a man he is.&nbsp;</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><b>Possess something he cherishes so much</b> - Men love sport...You might wanna mess with him with sport but remember its a test, do it only once and at the early stage. Change the channel and force him to watch something else. Yes at the early stage they are well behaved..that's enough time to test.If he does not fight for it he loves you. Lol</div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’m not saying you should run into the room and slap your man upside the head. I am saying you shouldn’t act like someone&nbsp;completely&nbsp;different than who you are naturally in order to get a man to fall in love with you.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If he passes your Stress test... You got a good man! Pls reward him with a stress free relationship</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When a man loves a woman, he doesn’t run as soon as the relationship is tested. He looks at it as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship.&nbsp;This is the man you should have in your life in</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">stead of settling for someone willing to remain simply because you never stress him out.&nbsp;After all, that might&nbsp;be the only r</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">eason he’s keeping you around.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div><div style="padding: 0px 0px 15px;">Ladies have you ever tried the 'Stress test'? Guys what's you take?<br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-1394489233193590832013-12-03T16:26:00.000-08:002013-12-03T16:54:13.104-08:002013 Resolution Check! You check! I check!It's that time of the year to look back from the first month of the year .... It's ok to ask yourself honest questions about what happened to your new yr resolution list.<br /><br />Some people make a bucket list at the beginning of the year while others just make a list of resolutions. I'm gonna be a lil bit in your face and ask you how you fared through the year.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VYdFDA_WXMM/Up55iWy9xAI/AAAAAAAAAHw/OrwfFWo-1Uk/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VYdFDA_WXMM/Up55iWy9xAI/AAAAAAAAAHw/OrwfFWo-1Uk/s320/image.jpg" width="320" /></a>&nbsp;I will start with me. I didn't do a lot of stuff. I made more mistakes. I procastinated again. I didn't give up on some habits and I didn't accomplish all I set out to do this yr but I also did a lot that am glad I did. Some events played out in my favor, I have learnt what not to do next yr.</div><br />That's bout all we need at the end of the year. Don't kill yourself and don't blame anyone. I am reviewing mine... Career, life, love and yes I will rate my progress.<br /><br />Career 40% - I need to learn to finish my projects. I will fight procastination and just do it like Nike in 2014<br />Life - 70% - I'm learning to stress a little and not take life too seriously. I will live inside out more in 2014<br />Love - 90% - This is the ultimate manual of life and I will embrace it with all my being and also give out more of my love to the world in 2014<br /><br /><br />Your turn! What have you got left to accomplish before the year rolls out?Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-12334061766968312622013-11-28T14:40:00.000-08:002013-11-28T14:45:54.708-08:00If you could wish for a super ability?<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O3By0LQ_3dE/UpaP31dWxpI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/G8QXEjAf1Eo/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O3By0LQ_3dE/UpaP31dWxpI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/G8QXEjAf1Eo/s320/image.jpg" /></a><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you could have any super power, what would it be? &nbsp;Hehehe I would drive all the coupes ever made. A peek into my fantasy.</span><br /> <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What super power would you wish for? &nbsp;</span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-47466376755531360632013-11-27T15:49:00.000-08:002013-11-27T15:53:49.125-08:00What are your biggest PET PEEVES?<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it. Be it in a relationship or with friends or even family members.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">NO relationship is perfect. No matter how much you love each other and no matter how many things you have in common and agree on, there is always going to be something that one person will do to bother or annoy the&nbsp;</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">other. This has nothing to do with love, but more based on the fact that when two individuals merge their lives together, there are bound to be times when they will clash. You may feel like “one”, but you are still separate people with minds of your own and not everything about your partner will appeal to you, regardless how much you love each other.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">True acceptance means that we don’t make comments or jokes about our&nbsp;differences. We put the complaint on the shelf.</span><br /><div dir="ltr" style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">However, if you know that you need to speak up, it’s essential that you articulate your pet peeves by following these communication rules.&nbsp;It’s hard to be open and receptive when we feel attacked.</span></div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Rule #1</strong>&nbsp;– It’s crucial that you talk about yourself rather than finger-pointing. Talk about&nbsp;how you feel, why, what you’d like.</span></div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Rule #2</strong>&nbsp;is that you must stay specific so that the other person can understand exactly&nbsp;what is so difficult for you and only address about one topic at a time.</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Rule #3</strong>&nbsp;is to focus on constructive win-win solutions, acknowledging what does work&nbsp;well.</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><strong style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Rule #4</strong>&nbsp;is to listen well so you can truly understand the other person’s perspective.</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Make your talk a discussion, not an ultimatum, and compromise to find the best solution that best honors you both.</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">Don't be too hard on your partner. What are the biggest pet peeves about your partner?</div><div><br /></div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-53448731820675525042013-11-24T15:32:00.000-08:002013-11-24T15:32:43.435-08:00Make up after fighting!<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Every relationship is different, but most couples have fights once in a while. Partners that stay together for the long haul usually figure out a way to make up and move on. If you don't want to pretend the fight never happened and just wait for the tension to blow over, then learn how to make up in an open and healthy way.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Look beneath the argument</span>.There's a saying: "You're never fighting for the reason you think. It may look like you're fighting but there's usually some feeling underneath that hasn't been fully expressed, maybe even something you hadn't realised you were feeling.&nbsp;Calm down and make up with your partner.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In life, everyone needs to make an apology, you need to make people think you mean it, you should mean it anyway. It often happens that you have mixed feelings, that the subject is not a simple situation, not black and white, but the apology is needed to smooth things out, and you are willing to apologize in order to do that.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*<span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Know what you did wrong</span>. Whether it was on purpose or an accident, admit that you did it. People like honesty.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*<span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Keep it simple, being careful not to start up a fight, a disagreement, or open up the situation for further discussion.</span>&nbsp;Stick to the idea of re-establishing a good relationship. This is not the time to work out and dissect events.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*Be prepared for it to take some time for your apology to be processed. This may be a long moment, a few minutes, or even days or weeks. Be patient and hopeful. Sometimes apologies have to be repeated. Don't let pride keep you from calling or writing again. The injured party may have trouble calming down, they may remain hurt or angry, and you must persist within reason. It is important to follow up messages light and casual. One must understand when to stop the effort as well.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*<span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">It helps to say, "This is a genuine apology, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I have thought about how wrong I was in that matter, and I hope you will accept my apology</span>.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*<span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Be polite</span>. An apology will be better accepted if it is sincere.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*<span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Try not to smile</span>. Smiling generally expresses happiness but you should be serious. If you want to smile, try to have an apologetic smile.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*<span class="whb" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Don't do it again</span>! An apology is saying sorry. Sorry means not doing it again. It's supposed to be genuine.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Share your crazy fights too!</span><br /><br />Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-68475919387026787742013-11-20T14:34:00.001-08:002013-11-20T14:43:58.919-08:00Age Difference! Big deal or not?<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Dating an older or younger guy can be a challenge. A lot of the time it's the remarks from those who disapprove (or don't understand) that make it so difficult. Like any relationship, if it's sincere and you're both committed to making an effort, it can work cos I believe there's nothing new under the sun. I also try to have a flexible mindset for life issues</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">One of the first things that you must remember when you're dealing with big age differences in a relationship is age is just a number. It doesn't define you. You could be 21 and be as mature as a 30 year old and you could be a 50 year old and have the brain of a 25. Yes, It all depends on your personality and the personality of your partner. That doesn't mean that big age differences in a relationship is easy to handle, but just keep in mind that the age is just a number.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A strong connection is what keeps relationships going. With an age difference, you should make sure the connection is there early on and that both people feel it. A physical connection isn't just enough. Make sure you both can understand where the other is in life. Some girls love dating older guys because they feel that guys their own age aren't mature enough while some girls just love the younger guys. If your common ground is firm? shoot!</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />Ultimately, it's you who calls the shots on whom you date. Don't think that you need to convince everyone of your love. While support from your loved ones is important, don't dwell on every single remark you hear about the relationship. Some people have nothing better to do than criticize. People connect with people of all sorts of ages for a variety of reasons. Don't think that you're supposed&nbsp;to be with someone your age. If you know the relationship is right (and legal), then stick with it.<br /><br /><br /><br />So, have you? Or do know anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a wide age gap? younger or older? &nbsp;Age difference in relationships, big deal or not? Share your views.</span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-2783942519648414922013-11-19T14:56:00.001-08:002013-11-19T15:07:49.671-08:00Adult peer pressure!<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Today's topic is one that cracks me up. Why give in when you can STAND OUT! I personally call it social vulnerability. it's called 'peer pressure' when you're younger and 'keeping up with the Joneses' when you are older.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Peer</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">&nbsp;pressure doesn't just end during our teenage yrs because adult life isn’t much different.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">&nbsp;It's not even your peers doing it to you anymore, it could be your family, colleagues, church or even the media ......oh well, let's just say society. Society! That's everyone doing it to you.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Realize that we all have different dreams and different ideas of what fulfill us. Unfortunately, sometimes we confuse what we want with what we think we want because it has been socially driven through the media, peers and other pressures. It's important to remind yourself of this regularly and ask yourself why you want something that someone else has before assuming it's a good thing for you to want too.</span><br /><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The most important thing is that you are true to yourself, and not to do what others think you should. Some people just follow the crowd out of fear of being different. Others do what they feel like regardless of what others do or say. It is important to always be true to yourself and your beliefs. Not all people will agree with everything you do, but as long as your choices agree with your views and personal situation. Do what is best for you.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Reflect on your personal goals and achievements. Sometimes when you become overly focused on what someone else is doing, you forget about how far you’ve come in your own right or you take for granted the achievements you’ve made.</span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Do what you want, not what THEY want. It's your life.&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Find your IDENTITY and live it</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What are the pressures you are dealing with in your life right now? Are you handling it or giving in?</span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-11949701379922339202013-11-18T11:08:00.000-08:002013-11-18T11:19:46.458-08:00Married or single lifestyle? <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hi my darling readers! It's good to be back. Bloggers have a life actually especially when one is blogging out of passion*winks*. I know I must bring back some goodies for y'all to enjoy.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Married or single life which is better? &nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Mike says, married life is peaceful Teni. You have someone to worry for you. It gets boring sometimes if you don't know how to spice the relationship up. She gives me all the love that's melts my sorrow and stress. The cons are easy for me because I have identified them over the years. Vacations, family events, praying and planning is more meaningful when you are married</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Femi says, Teni I love my single life. I choose what to do with my money, my vacations and my life. I can eat cereal for dinner if I like. I can go to bed when i like. I don't have to answer to anyone and i don't have to report where i am or when I'll be back.<br /><br />Nike says, its lonely for the woman Teni. There's no one who knows what you do with your day, what your thoughts are, what your worries are. There's also no one to take care of you when you're sick, or to help you financially when you're out of work. There's no one to share decisions with. Also, if you date, at some point dating becomes like a job interview and it's just miserable, and there are fewer desirable people to date as you get older</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />Michelle says, I have to take vacations when my husband can take them, and we have to confer together on where we will go. I also have to let him know where I'll be and when to expect me back. It's a little weird, too, to know that someone else can see when I'm being lazy. In my case, he has dogs and I have to help him care for the dogs too along side our kids when he goes out of town, although that's not too bad. Teni I love my married life regardless of the lil stress I face here and there.</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />So I got few peeps to share their views. &nbsp;Married life or single life! Your turn! ......and REMEMBER to take the poll below. Just click on single or married lifestyle</span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-3352305501871254202013-11-18T10:55:00.001-08:002013-11-18T11:11:53.617-08:00 LCAR poll! married or single life? <a href="http://poll.pollcode.com/6393629#sthash.1kHCQJst.cmfs">Single or married lifestyle</a>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-58419541736927519972013-11-11T14:47:00.001-08:002013-11-11T14:47:02.153-08:00The little child in us!<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Often times just like the majority of people in the world, we mistakenly believe that children know nothing about life until they learn from observing the adults around them, but we don’t realize just how many things children can teach us about life. Although they might not be educated on what the world has to offer, they know how to approach life in ways we don’t.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They live for the moment</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They believe in miracles</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They are daring</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They speak out</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They are accepting</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They do what makes them happy</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*They explore their interests</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Ah ha! How much of these habits can an adult have? Are kids living better than adults? Can adults really think and live like kids?&nbsp;</span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780742350930596393.post-75236041071116421682013-11-10T13:58:00.000-08:002013-11-10T14:36:04.889-08:00Beautiful idiot vs Ugly genius<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A friend asked me this question and I decided to post it on here. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To some, having an amazing brain is beauty. While some guys and girls may place physical qualities above brain power.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What's your take?</span>Teniola Olanubihttps://plus.google.com/115935577992058626227noreply@blogger.com2