COTW – Predicting the future.

Hawt chick: Nah…. arms too long and she has that passé smirky superior model expression.
Why is she hiding her feet ? Are they deformed ? Shoulders too bony.
Right hand looks deformed. Looks like she has no tappet clearance. (aka box gap)
Neck is too long and masculine. That stomach too flat…is she anorexic or bulimic ?
Get the girl a burger and fries.

Apart from that, I guess she is ok. 4/10
But, Jesus, she looks uncomfortable, lying upside down like that.

It is always vital for the modern man to be adept at successfully identifying a woman’s salient features in order to comfortably predict how she will look twenty years into the future. For example, Courtney Cox in a Bruce Springsteen video:

lucky the drummer has both hands on it …

Courtney Cox on a recent episode of Bear Gryll’s show:

dress rehearsal for her forthcoming part as the wicked witch of the west …

Of course, Courtney’s dramatic transformation could be laid at the feet of plastic surgery. Girls, there is a good reason why everyone who gets serious plastic surgery ends up looking the same – these guys aren’t Rembrandt. But it is also a timely lesson that she was never going to end up in a good place. I watched Friends; there I admit it. And I was always under the impression that while her female co-stars were likely to age well, Cox was on a hiding to nothing. Now all she looks good for is stirring a pot while cursing Macbeth.

But as far as Hans vote of a 4 out of 10 for this week’s hawtness, all I can surmise from this is that my readership is the ghey. The only thing worse than this would be deliberately marrying the boss’s daughter.

(Also, I checked with the Good Wife before posting the hawt chick as to get her opinion on the veracity of the boobs. Her eventual opinion was indecisive, prompting me to immediately declare them real as it is only jealously that propels a woman to identify the bleeding obvious.)

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6 thoughts on “COTW – Predicting the future.”

Bernd

“But as far as Hans vote of a 4 out of 10 for this week’s hawtness, all I can surmise from this is that my readership is the ghey” . . . or has some serious shitposting experience.

“The only thing worse than this would be deliberately marrying the boss’s daughter.”. Depends. If the daughter is an only child, his wife is already gone, the boss has terminal cancer and is the sole business owner this might be worth a try.

As for the fake boob thing. Discerning whether they are real or not is actually quite easy. Think of natural boobs as a skin-bag full of fat (which is more or less accurate). The form of the boob will be a result of gravity and the containment of the skin, there is not much in there to give support. The tissue inside is just to soft and to weak to give it a “hard” form. All soft edges. If you now look at the cleavage of yesterday’s fine lady you will see some more or less sharp edges, which suggest that there is something inside that has a form of its own. Usually silicone pads. . .

As for the result of aging consumers of plastic surgery…. Have you ever seen a recipient of plastic boobs 10 years after the implant? That is serious stuff for lifelong nightmares…

It’s easy to identify “le plastique fantastique” as one of my friends calls it. Look for a “double” boob. Normally there is a check in the line of the skin above the boob showing that another boob is behind the natural one.

That, and if you can see the nipple, a perfectly circular and well defined nipple means that it has been removed to insert the implant and reattached. Older surgeries are evealed by a line of scar tissue from the nipple to the rib cage under the breast itself.

I have mixed feelings about plastic surgery. Seems likely that the ones who go to crazy extremes probably started out with a small procedure that worked pretty well. Having a good result to start with, it’s easy to keep going.

It’s also important to consider the age of the person doing it. Unless they are attempting to correct a deformity or the result of terrible roller coaster mishap, young women have no business in a plastic surgeon’s office. Older women, maybe. Take for example the late Joan Rivers. On the one hand she’d had so much surgery that she looked like some sort of humanoid alien.

To determine how a woman will age look at her mother and her maternal grandmother. The genes don’t lie. Gravity will also have it’s way. The larger the mass the greater the force.

If the ladies want their figures back after having their children, earlier is much better (in their 20’s) and astute women know this. The post wall ladies are dreaming if they think they can beat mother nature. But then they dream a lot anyway, so what is one more fantasy.