Why today? Why April 20th? Somebody told me a long time ago that 4-20 was police code for pot. This is most certainly false, but I’ve stood by this reasoning for years, so I’m not backing down now.

I don’t smoke pot, but I am the asshole who snickers when somebody at work mentions it’s 4:20. Therefore I feel inclined to present the 4 players most widely assumed to smoke pot. Please note that these players have never been actually proven to smoke the kind, but rather, if this news did matriculate down the news cycle, you wouldn’t be even remotely surprised.

1- Rick Ankiel. Because players chief, that’s why.

2- Kieth Hernandez. Because nothing brings your coke high down like a phatty J.

3- Larry Bigbie. Because when your tummy hurts, you need to numb the pain.

4- Tito Landrum. Because he could.

Again, these players haven’t burned one down with any of the CD Staff, but we’re not saying we’d totally be against it either. Just that we have our suspicions about these 4.