just in time for halloween! sorry, kids, i know you were hoping to score some good stuff this year, but i'm going to have to give you these weetabix and kale chips i've purged from my pantry. i mean, my health is on the line here.

But the children! Are you saying you don't care about their health?

Oh, they're probably a lost cause already. Their parents might be feeding them Cheerios for breakfast, for all we know. Imagine!