This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I
think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. My Brother,
(thanks, Marvin) said that this is a true story from the Word Perfect
Help line which was transcribed from a recorded monitoring in the
customer-care department. Needless to say, the Helpdesk employee was
fired; however, he is currently suing the Word Perfect organization
for "Termination Without Cause."

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Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee (NOW we know why they record these conversations)!

"Ridge
Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes,
well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What
sort of trouble?"

"Well,
I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So
what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's
blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you
still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How
do I tell?"

"Can you
see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's
a sea-prompt?"

"Never
mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There
isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does
your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's
a monitor?"

"It's the
thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I
don't know."

"Well,
then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes,
I think so."

"Great.
Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes,
it is."

"When you
were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well,
there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay,
here it is."

"Follow
it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I
can't reach."

"Uh huh.
Well, can you see if it is? Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over?"

"Oh,
it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -
the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window."

"Well,
turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because
there's a power failure."

"A power
. . . A power failure? Ah-ha. Right. (long pause) Okay, I think we've
got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well,
yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go
get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you
got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."