What is it about certain tastes that make people crave some rough approximation of them even when it's forbidden? I'm thinking of my vegan friends' endless quest for a vegan cheese, or the dieter's search for a Splenda-riffic sugar substitute.

The taste of beer falls into this category. I have a brother, for instance, who will not drink alcoholic beverages on religious grounds. Yet he loves popping open nonalcoholic beers like Buckler and Kaliber.

This question arose as I have been exploring the strange world of gluten-free beer. Yes, gluten-free beer - as if it weren't already injustice enough to be diagnosed with celiac disease, or as having gluten sensitivity or intolerance. I am fortunate enough not to suffer this condition, but I have friends that do and, frankly, it sucks.

If you need to avoid gluten, I can very clearly advise you on what to drink. Gluten-free beer would not even crack the top five. Ahead of it, I would recommend wine; 100-percent agave Tequila; brandy; rum; and dry French or Spanish cider. Heck, I would even suggest potato vodka instead of gluten-free beer. And when I say wine, Tequila, brandy, rum, cider and potato vodka, I mean the real thing. That's an awful lot of the liquor store.

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Clearly, though, I am out of step with what the gluten-free public desires, because gluten-free beer has become a burgeoning category. The other day at my beer store, an entire shelf was given over to gluten-free beers, above a handwritten sign that read: "Gluten Free - Wheat Is Murder."

I gathered nine for my tasting. We started with probably the most widely known gluten-free beer - Anheuser-Busch's Redbridge, which was released in 2006. It was disappointing: a syrupy sweet nose, a thin apple-juice taste in the mouth, and little carbonation. Someone suggested that it tasted like a nonalcoholic beer. We all agreed it was watery. "This makes Bud Lite seem like Guinness," said my friend Rick.

Redbridge is made with sorghum, as are most gluten-free beers, and this is where, for me, the problem begins. Malted sorghum creates an oddly sour and fruity beer. In some cases, the sorghum was mixed with rice (as in New Grist from Wisconsin's Lakefront Brewery). A few, like Green's from Belgium, added buckwheat to the recipe.

Beer brewed with sorghum is popular in Africa, where it's a drink of the Zulu people. Given that tradition, I did appreciate the effort of one brewer, Sprecher from Wisconsin, which opted to brew an African-style, gluten-free beer called Shakparo, with sorghum and millet, using wild yeast. (Typical sorghum beers from Africa have malt extract and should be avoided by those with celiac disease.)

As my informal panel of friends tasted, much of our talk centered around whether a particular offering smelled or tasted "like normal beer." For me, it was precisely this mimicry that made these beers a little disturbing.

Green's Amber Ale for instance, poured well into the glass, with nice color and a good head, and it even had a decent feel in the mouth. And then came the aftertaste. The lingering cereal notes were reminiscent of bird feed. Another of Green's offerings, the Tripel Blonde Ale, was slightly better, though with a candied-sour taste that reminded me of very cheap sparkling wine.

The one non-sorghum, non-millet offering was Estrella Damm Daura from Spain. It's made with barley malt, and then the gluten protein is stripped away using a special brewing process.

This leaves Daura with a tiny bit of gluten - about 6 parts per million, well below the 20 parts per million allowed by the European Union in order to carry the label "gluten free." In the United States, however, this labeling issue has been controversial; the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness recommends 10 ppm in its new "gluten free" labeling guidelines.

Estrella Damm Daura tasted most like "normal beer," but there was still something unnatural about it, a faint sweetness that wasn't entirely unpleasant, just kind of weird.

Kind of like the whole category of gluten-free beers.

Gluten-free beers to try

Estrella Damm Daura ($8/four-pack; 5.4% alcohol): The normal Estrella Damm is an uncomplex, inoffensive, mass-produced lager that goes down light, smooth and refreshing. The gluten-free Daura is about the same, though in place of maltiness you get a faint sweetness. From Barcelona, Spain.

St. Peter's Sorgham Beer ($5/16 oz. bottle, 4.2% alcohol): A passable job of imitating a bitter pilsner, though it strikes an odd sweet note. Not much of a finish, and could do without the lingering citrus rind aftertaste, but drinkable. From Bungay, England.

Sprecher Shakparo Ale ($3.95/16 oz. bottle, 5.7% alcohol): If you happen to be a celiac who once loved rauchbier, you're in luck. Found more often in Southern California, this smells like liquid smoke or hot dogs on the grill. Creamy and a little sweet, with good head and color. From Glendale, Wis.

Jason Wilson is editor of The Smart Set website and author of "Boozehound." E-mail comments to wine@sfchronicle.com.

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