Searching for "sexy Santa" on stock photo website Shutterstock yields 16,414 results, and every single one of them is strange, unsettling, and patently absurd. There is even Santa-girl-on-Santa-girl action! Here are some of the craziest images we found.

It says something very creepy about our culture that we have changed this jolly old man with a bowl full of jelly belly into some sexualized plaything. Also, it is especially creepy considering a formative moment of every child's life is when (s)he realizes that their parents are Santa. That means that, in some strange twist of logic, sexy Santa is really a way for people to have erotic thoughts about their parents at Christmastime.

OK, screw the subtext, now we can just look at attractive people in very, very strange Christmas situations thought up by stock image magicians. Why would you ever need a picture of three half naked people on a sleigh carrying a Christmas tree through the desert? To laugh at, of course.

Speaking of three half naked people on a sleigh carrying a Christmas tree through the desert, here it is. This is like the Mad Max of Christmas photos.