The Kweendom of Abstraction

desires

Well, well, well…looky what we have here! While cleaning my room (to move to another space) I found “the list”. Hand-written on 5×7″ college-ruled paper…about *counting*… 6 of those pages long (only front, no back)…in black roller ball ink.

I’d been mulling over “love” and it’s fascinating parts. Those wonderful and agonizing parts, that make it something people either want with their last breath or hate to think about with their entire being. Having been through my fair share of “debacles” I honestly had been talking to myself aloud about how I was going to focus on ME again. Get back to ME…and learn how to live a life full of family and friends…blessings, triumphs and reversals…and more blessings. I wasn’t going to let any man looking to “conquer the Kween” love down my sentries again until it felt indisputably right. I think with all of my past involvements, there was always some sense of, “Ugh…do I even like this dude?” in the beginning. I had to be won over…chased and tackled damn near, instead of a slow chase with sure signs of love amiss. I believe that the guy for me will win me over almost immediately. THAT is how I will know it’s him, because with EACH guy I’ve fallen for…there was always some sense of dislike for him immediately and THEN he got me. Even if I didn’t dislike him per se…it was more like I spotted something that would come between us, ignored it eventually…only to be reminded of that very thing later as the relationship died.

Anywho…I’ve decided to share this list with you all. Perhaps, I found it for a reason. We’ll see ;)…don’t be shy…tell me what you think about it (It’s not in any particular order; except that first one):

Established financially (or well on his way)…(funny how I compromised this in the past)

Ambitious

Handsome

Well-groomed

Tall

Knows how to please me

He must compliment me, NOT complete me

My dreams must be as important to him as his are [to me]

A love maker…not a sex addict

NO LONG TERM SCREWING AROUND!

Loves music, poetry and art

We can duet together <—I'm over this

We should be each other’s best friend

I must like him, like I love him

Tender Kisses that I can feel deep in my soul

Must not feel the need to be searching elsewhere for something more

Satisfied with home ^^^

No one more than 10 years older and 5 years younger <—broke THAT rule in half

Non-argumentative (for sport, I mean)

Someone who will see his soul in my eyes; I can look in his and see mine

He must have his own life; I cannot and will not be his be all to end all and likewise

Someone who loves my smile

Snazzy dresser (giggling at the word snazzy)

Money-wise

Spends quality time with me

Non-smoker

Moderate drinker

Healthy man, free from infection (oh so serious and yet, that made me giggle)

His family will love me like their own and vice versa

SPARKS MUST FLY AS SOON AS I SEE HIM

Someone who won’t mind pursuing me

Someone who will be appreciative of me

Loves to read

Sweet nature

Serious when necessary, silly when we want to be

Loves to cuddle

Neat and clean but not anal (again with the giggles)

Creative

Not afraid to commit

Single – no married, involved or engaged men

If divorced, must be totally emotionally detached from ex (would appreciate financial, physical, spiritual and mentally as well)

If he has kids, must be responsible but must know how to prioritize me and any family we have

Monogamous

Must make toes curl and eyes light up (clearly, I was looking for sparks of all kinds, lol)

Respectful

Warm & Sensitive

Strong

Enduring

Humorous

Has a business mind

Well-educated

Good listener

Responsible

Considerate & thoughtful

Not afraid to communicate

Non-controlling

Not abusive (on ANY level)

Loyal (damn I was repeating myself, lol)

Fair-minded

Logical

Not afraid to show emotions

Sexual but not perverse

Respects my sexuality

Willing to compromise

Secure in his masculinity

Ethical/Moral

Wonderful provider

Protective

Fun conversationalist

Spontaneous

Adventurous

Loves me for me

Spiritual, but not fanatically <—-broke this one, too

Humble

SANE!!!

Generous

Sensual

Romantic

Loves knowledge and how to acquire it

So, there ya go. Excuse the redundancy in certain areas…clearly there are things that stick out to me and matter to me more than other things. A lot has changed and I can say a lot of this stuff is negotiable with me…some isn’t.

So, what do you think of my list and have you ever made one of your own? Do you think they work or are necessary? Are we boxed in by these types of things?