So the Extremis stuff gives Tony the ability to mentally control where his suit go? that's what i'm getting from the trailers. I have never read the Extremis arc.

In the comics, Extremis allowed Tony to control any technology with his mind. He ould control his suits, access computer networks and the like. Mallen (Killian) and others infected with the virus also gained superhuman strength and the ability to breathe fire. The virus completely rewrote a person's genetic code and changed their bodies on a cellular level. They could go toe-to-toe with Iron Man and defeat him with their bare hands. There is no way to know how much of those abilities are being used in the film version yet.