What is the ideal woman?

They would want a superwoman, I thought – a hybrid goddess with Angelina Jolie’s luscious lips, Liz Taylor’s eyes, Elle Macpherson’s long legs, J Lo’s curvy bottom or perfect nose, Pamela Anderson’s bust and Claudia Schiffer’s long hair. A woman with the sex appeal of Marilyn Monroe but taste in men like Kate Moss.

I was wrong, I discovered, when I attempted to survey the office.

The men here were much more easily satisfied.

“One who can iron five shirts in a row,” said one, jokingly (I hope).

“Someone less intelligent and less successful than them,” quipped one who prefers men himself, although with these sorts of responses, I was starting to wonder why more women weren’t gay.

One female of that persuasion seemed to have a better idea of what she wanted in a woman than the blokes did.

“Sweet, caring, intelligent, considerate, funny, positive-minded (not jaded and bitter), sporty, or with some interest or hobby,” she said.

“And despite all of the above, there needs to be a spark. If there’s no spark, I find it hard to get into someone.”

Not too much to ask, really. A 20-something reporter surprised with his simple requirements.

“Can I have either Diane Keaton (young or old, I’m not fussed) or Katherine Heigl?”

“I don’t care if they earn more money than me. If they earn less, we’re both stuffed.”

On the other hand, a subeditor was quite particular in what he wanted in a woman.

“Dancers do it for me ...,” he mused via an email. “Ballerinas to chorus girls ... though I’ve never actually met one. Unrequited affairs from the bleachers.

“I also quite like French actress Juliette Binoche. But she doesn’t return my calls.”

Another staff member offered his perspective. His ideal woman was one who dealt with conflict with measured thought rather than emotion.

Sounded like a job for a man.

So far, there was no pattern emerging. I headed out to the real world to get a better picture.

Peter the cabbie, 60, got a fright when I stuck my head in the window of his car and asked what sort of women he fancied.

He looked up from his newspaper and thought hard.

“Someone with a good personality. A sense of humour. Quirky,” he said.

“It’s probably adventure. A willingness to go places and do things together. Just a good friend,” he said.

C’mon, talking about a bit more than just good friends here, Nick.

“Yeah, but you’ve got to be good friends to stay together,” he said, before nominating his wife, Liz, as his ideal woman.

I wandered down the street and stopped Frank, 38, and his mate, for their opinions.

“One that doesn’t talk to you,” Frank said. “Those are our wives up there,” he said, gesturing to two women about 50 metres ahead.

“There’s no ideal woman. I should be gay,” he said.

Frank’s mate looked a little concerned at the suggestion.

I left the two of them to discuss this further and walked up to a tall, tanned, fit young bloke who, I reasoned, was too good looking to be straight but would at least nominate Kylie Minogue.

I was wrong.

Frenchman Vital, 26, had just ridden to work at one of Mooloolaba’s cafes, and turned out to be on the lookout for his ideal woman.

“May puerfect wooman is Australienne, beecause I want to stay here to leeve,” he said.

Oh Vital, surely not any old Aussie girl could have you?

“I preefeur theen, with beauteeful shape, not necessarily beeg boobs, or a small bottem or beeg bottem, just a beauteeful shape. I prefer brown (hair). I like blonde, but I think I preefeur brown.

“I’m not very compleecated. Whatever the girl wants. I’m a very easy man. You want?”

The answer would be obvious to most females, I thought.

Adam, 33, an appliance repairman, put in a lot of thought when I asked him about his ideal woman.

“I think someone you can have a good friendship with, and listen to,” he said. “It’s one of those things where you grow together as you get to know each other, and sort your differences out along the way.

“I think there has to be compatibility between people, but you work at that through love.”

Could that be right? Adam’s ideal woman sounded like one he could have a relationship with.

So far, I wasn’t hearing the Angelina Jolies, the J-Los, the Pammie Andersons I’d expected.

Tony, 72, a widower with tired eyes but a Belfast accent fresh as the day he left Ireland, remembered a lot of women he had thought perfect: Kim Novak, Lizzy Taylor, Marilyn Monroe.

But his real requirements were much simpler.

“Someone that’s just good and honest and trustworthy,” he said.

These men were getting far too deep. I headed towards a trio of young blokes drying off after a swim.

Steve, 21, was not asking for much in a woman.

“Someone who’s beachy, fit, and she has to have a car so I don’t have to pick her up,” he said.

His mate Jarred, 18, had similar tastes.

“Someone who’s sporty and has a car.” Or a motorcycle, he added.

Any form of transport was an attraction, really.

Between them and their friend, Matt, 18, they came up with Megan Fox, Alisha Cuthbert and Catherine Zeta-Jones as perfect women.

At last, some fellas who wanted pin-ups. This was what I expected.

I bumped into Adam again, who had been giving the matter of the ideal woman some further thought.

“Someone that’s passionate about people and life, and has their own vision for life,” he said.

“I would have once said someone who has the same goals but I think it’s better to have your own goals and be able to support each other on that journey to fulfilling your dreams and making the most out of life.”

Jay, 22, a bible student, also turned out to want more than just good looks.

“For me, it starts with my beliefs, so a woman that loves Jesus and is a Christian, because that really affects how someone lives their lives,” he said. “A woman that has purpose in her life ... Someone that wants to help people and have some significance in her life.

“That’s where it starts. Of course, I’d like someone that’s beautiful and has a nice personality. Someone that’s good to talk to.

“A woman of integrity, Someone you can really trust. Trust is a huge thing in a relationship.”

His mate, Dan, 28, also thought his ideal woman was someone who believed in God.

“Definitely someone who is a kindred spirit, who shares your passions. For me, it would be someone who follows God as well and values the spiritual in life, or not just values it, but it’s an essential part of their life.”

Dan, who had a toddler at his feet, had obviously met his ideal woman.

“When I met my wife, what stuck out for me is how she looked at life differently,” he said.

“I think that’s a good thing. Someone that looks at life differently, is willing to be independent, thinks for themselves.”

I was starting to see a pattern. If anything, men were more interested in what was on the inside rather than the outside when it came to the ideal woman. I headed for the next bloke to see if I could confirm my conclusion.

Chris, 31, a caryard owner, met his wife when he was only 16.

He was drawn to her because she was tall, funny and had a nice smile. But what made her ideal?

“Someone that loves you, I suppose. She’s a good mum, and supportive, I guess, in things I want to do,” he said.

I began to panic that the answers I was getting might have been skewed because I was a female asking the questions. I headed for a pub. I thought some liquor would surely loosen the truth.

Josh, 27, who was at the start of a mate’s 30th birthday-buck’s weekend-type bash, laughed when I asked him about his ideal woman. He reckoned he could only pick up “crazies”.

“I just want a woman that’s similar to me, so that we’ll always get along,” he said. “I have a bush property that I like to go to on the weekends that I’m trying to make into a hobby farm.”

So how come he couldn’t find his ideal woman, I wanted to know.

“Because I keep going on looks. I keep going for these little brunettes.”

Josh, you did not let me down. It is comforting to know that there will always be blokes out there who think they can choose their ideal woman on looks, even when they know they want much more.

If anything, men were more interested in what was on the inside rather than the outside when it came to the ideal woman.