The Salvation Army, like most American Christian denominations, is struggling with how to reconcile their religious doctrine with the growing acceptance of LGBT civil rights.

When founder William Booth started his ministry in 1852, he focused on the outcasts of society - thieves, prostitutes, drunkards, and the destitute. As the church grew, it spread internationally and retained its focus on serving the less fortunate - or at least some of them.

The evangelical church has come under fire for their history of blatant discrimination against LGBT people, but the group claims they are slowly changing their policies to be more inclusive. Change comes slowly to organized religion.

A small and short lived effort to draw attention to the Salvation Army's discriminatory policies was launched over a decade ago, but slowly petered out as the LGBT community shifted their focus to marriage equality and private sector employment protections. In 2010 I kicked the campaign back into gear with a short article that updated the Army's history of prejudice and inequality toward LGBT people.

They Feel Sorry

I met with Salvation Army Major George Hood and Communications Director Jennifer Byrd in January of 2012 to discuss our differences. We'd lobbed volleys at each other through various media sources for two years, but connecting in person was always something I'd wanted to do. You can't solve anything with a one-sided conversation.

While our meeting was cordial and the two spent quite a bit of time trying to mollify my concerns, it was marked by a very unfortunate turn of events.

The same morning we were due to have lunch, an open letter from several evangelical leaders was released that claimed allowing gays and lesbians to marry would "threaten religious freedom." The letter cited the Salvation Army by name, pointing out "San Francisco dropped its $3.5 million in social service contracts with the Salvation Army because it refused to recognize same-sex 'domestic partnerships' in its employee benefits policies."

It was signed by about 40 religious leaders including Commissioner William A. Roberts, then National Commander of the Salvation Army. The letter cast a wide shadow over the entire meeting.

The two were pleasant and friendly during our meeting and they offered up several areas where the group had made positive steps forward or at least didn't actively work against LGBT people. They made an attempt to listen and interact. They apologized for the treatment I was given twenty years before and explained that they were examining many different policies related to LGBT people and families.

I'd planned to write about the meeting, but the whole experience left me feeling odd. I wanted more than a personal apology for an isolated incident two decades ago; I wanted them to publicly acknowledge the pain they'd caused many LGBT people over the years.

"I respect your right to take offense to the letter," Major Hood told me as we parted. The two expressed their personal regret at the previous anti-LGBT stances the church had taken, but seemed powerless to do more than feel sorry.

Sorry for What?

While I've still done several interviews about the Salvation Army since that meeting, I haven't written anything else. The old article remained popular during the 2012 holiday season; it was shared hundreds of thousands of times on Facebook alone. As Christmas approached in 2013, the Army took a new tactic toward ending their standoff with the LGBT community.

This year, the Army launched a large public relations campaign featuring videos of queer employees and clients singing the church's praises and telling viewers that the Salvation Army doesn't discriminate against LGBT people. Staffers and members from local chapters and the national office reached out to bloggers and activists in an attempt to tamp down the anger and dismay.

The LGBT community hasn't responded to the outreach quite like the Army hoped. Employees can be coerced into making feel-good videos for their employers. Clients want a warm place to sleep and a filling meal. Why not film a video if mugging for the camera gets your children fed? The suspicions run decades deep and some changed language on a website, a few YouTube videos, and emails sent to bloggers hasn't worked any magic.

As news has spread that the Army was embracing nondiscrimination policies in hiring and assistance, LGBT people have started to take a second wary look. After the LGBT group Truth Wins Out discovered a link on the Salvation Army website that went to a religious right group offering harmful "ex-gay" therapy, the Army removed it within minutes of being notified. The church is making a concerted effort to improve their image, but without acknowledging the still festering wound.

I met with Ms. Byrd and Major Hood's successor, Major Ron Busroe, earlier this week. As the conversation turned to the topic of the ongoing campaign, they pointed out the webpage and the videos. Their hearts are in the right place, but they don't know the history or the language of the queer community. They seemed deflated when I pointed out why LGBT people were still skeptical.

The Salvation Army's website has a dedicated page now entitled "Debunking the Myth of LGBT Discrimination" as part of their public relations campaign. My personal story of being discriminated against by the Army had been acknowledged and apologized for the previous year; now it was a "myth."

A Real Apology

Therein lies the problem facing the Salvation Army. They are taking steps forward toward equality for all people. They have updated their nondiscrimination policies nationwide. They have sent directions to shelters across the country on how to treat gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients with respect and dignity.

In 2001, the Salvation Army actively lobbied the Bush White House for the right to allow them to ignore local nondiscrimination laws and "not have to provide medical benefits to the same-sex partners of employees." In 2013, they provide domestic partner benefits in all states and localities required by law plus any states that have legalized same-sex marriage. They're investigating how to fairly provide those benefits to employees across the country.

But the Army has still avoided the one thing that can give it the redemption it seeks. The Salvation Army needs to take responsibility for the policies that actively hurt our community.

Discrimination against LGBT people happened. The church spent political capital opposing LGBT rights. Vulnerable people have been hurt even further in their name. The Army is responsible for its own actions.

Instead, the Salvation Army is whistling nervously as it passes by a monster of its own making in the dark. It refuses to acknowledge its sin before asking for forgiveness.

Major Busroe and Ms Byrd weren't able to offer what's needed most - a public apology from the new National Commander, Commissioner David Jeffrey, for the pain the Salvation Army had caused. While Army officials in New Zealand and the United Kingdom strengthened their commitment to equality and service after acknowledging their anti-gay past and the hurt it caused, American officials have so far been reluctant to take the first, but most important, step.

"If I had the authority to do it, I would," Major Hood said during our meeting. "People are people. When they're suffering, hurt or isolated, we're the group that needs to be there. I just don't have the authority."

If the Salvation Army wants to work with and serve the LGBT community, there's an easy solution. Commissioner Roberts has the authority - and the obligation - to simply say, "We're sorry for the hurt we caused. We won't do it again."

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