Thursday, May 28, 2015

Some of you know that I have a " phobia " about birds - I'm really really frightened of them for some reason.
I panic if one comes too close - in a state of complete and utter fear.
I know they're beautiful - and I love that they live in my garden - I just don't like getting " too close and personal "
And we have grackles ( you can read about those #@&(@* HERE ) outside our bedroom - so a screen on our window is an absolute necessity.
So is sleeping with the window open.
( that's another on-going argument I've already shared with you )
Anyway - one night last week it was incredibly windy.
I woke up later than John the next morning.

John says - the wind knocked the screen right out of our window last night.
Suzan says - where is it?
John says - downstairs.................I didn't want to wake you
Suzan says - did you close the window ?
John says - No - you always want it open
Suzan says - OMG - A bat could have flowin in - or a grackle - or worse - what were you thinking?
John says - YOU ALWAYS TELL ME NOT TO TOUCH THE WINDOW.
Suzan says - Listen to me carefully John - very very carefully ( because really sometimes he frightens me more than birds ) I like heat in the winter too..................but.if the house ever catches fire please wake me up to let me know?
John says - Well now you're being ridiculous

But I could just picture him telling the judge " she loved heat your honor "

My logic is ridiculous I know that - he's 100% right on that one.
But surely that's better than having none at all?
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This mudroom makeover is close to throwing me over the edge.
I seriously contemplated taking a photo of the before and then tossing a lighted match in it and showing the after.
I'm definitely not a pyromaniac but I think I'd probably do a little River Dance while it burned.
I've told you before the whole house is crooked - well the mud room is terribly so............I've taken to walking around the house with a level. I'm constantly checking everything.

Suzan says - I have a sinking feeling
John says - What now?
Suzan says - No I really have one - I think the house is sinking
John says - Why do you talk like that ?
Suzan says - Because I really think it is..................
John says - It's not sinking - it's an old house - it's crooked

Later on I brought a tea into the den for him

John says - Why are you walking like that?
Suzan says - Like what?
John says - On a slant
Suzan says - I'm trying to compensate..................I figure if we both walk leaning to one side no one will know how bad the house is.
_________________________________________________________________________________

I was thinking..........................
Why are all the sex scandals from MALES - ( and quite a few of them are politicians to boot )
They're either taking selfies of their private parts
Or trying to pick up other men in bathroom stalls
Or sleeping with secretaries
Or impregnating them
Sometimes they even marry them
Now personally I don't care about all of that - I really don't - I think the media should stay out of people's private affairs ( unless they're breaking the law or causing harm to someone of course )
But still - if that sort of thing does bother people - why on earth do we not have more female leaders?
There's more of of us than them - it makes no sense to me.
We keep voting in Don Drapers and then act horrified when they act like ...............well Don Draper.
We need more Peggy Olson's running the Country.

The above references are from Mad Men - and if you haven't watched the series - it's time to.
Seriously - an incredible look into the 60's era...................I'm in mourning that the final episode was last week.
The 60's were my childhood years...................and this show reflected it to perfection.
Kind of felt like I was going home for an hour each week - warts and all.
_________________________________________________________________________________

The Duggars?
Too much to say - it needs its own post.................
But I'm sickened by the whole thing.And with the network who's frantically trying to salvage something out of the whole mess.
LET. IT. GO.
C'mon TLC - you did it with Honey Boo Boo.
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Ok this is hysterical.
I heard John grumbling in the mudroom................you know the table that I hung a curtain from?
He calls it a skirt ( which I suppose it is )
I keep a lot of tools and boxes filled with nails and screws etc behind it.
I swear to you this is what he said !

John says - ( on his hands and knees ) AM I GOING TO HAVE TO LIFT A BLOODY SKIRT EVERY TIME I WANT A SCREW ?
Suzan says -Pervert !
John says - What are you talking about ?

He had no idea what that sounded like...........
None.
At.
All.

I had to explain it verbally because I wasn't wearing a skirt.
John says - Why is your mind always in the gutter?

My girlfriend and I took our kids on a holiday once - up North ( for those of you that know Montreal - it was Rawdon )
Her and her Son - myself and my 3 kids -
We rented a cottage with private access to the lake.
It was a charming 2 story house nestled in a little corner of a lakeside cottage community.
2 Woman...............alone with 4 young kids.
Cell phones were just making their way into society and neither of us had one - nor was there a phone on this property.
It was a lovely holiday - we played games every night - we grilled all our meals - we sat on the sand while the kids played ................
Until 2 nights before we were to leave.
The kids were all down for the night and Darlene and I were sitting outside having a glass of wine.
Now before I go any further you have to know ( ok you already know ) that I'm afraid of my own shadow - and that I've very very dramatic.
So.............while we were sitting there chatting in total darkness ( and I mean PITCH black ) - Darlene looked at me a little strangely and in a very low voice

Darlene said - I don't want you to panic Suzan - just get up NOW and get into the house

My legs went numb - completely useless

Suzan whimpered - Please don't do this to me Darlene
Darlene said - GET UP ! NOW ! As she made a mad dash towards the door.

I almost broke her legs shoving her out of the way so that I could get in first.

We got indoors and she told me she heard footsteps on the side of the house. And the bushes rustling.

DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN - OMG - PLEASE SAVE US - THE CHILDREN ARE SO YOUNG -
HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE - OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN...................WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???????????? I think I was literally hopping up and down and trying desperately to control a quick urge to go to the bathroom - eventually I flew into the kitchen to remove 2 butcher knives from the drawer.
I placed one in her hand - and made her solemnly swear that she would not go to sleep - we had to stay awake to save the children - DEAR GOD - THE CHILDREN !!!

I know I did a lot of pacing in front of the windows - waving the knife around.

After a couple of hours we thought it would be wise to go upstairs where - DEAR GOD - THE CHILDREN were sleeping and keep watch.

And so she sat in one corner ( closest to the door ) and I sat in the other corner ( a little safer ) and there we sat from midnight till roughly 5 a.m. when I noticed a strange noise coming from her corner.
Snoring !
Asleep on the job!

I ran over to her - shaking her frantically with one hand ( because the other hand still had the knife in it raised above my head so that nobody got hurt.)

Now I can only imagine what I must have looked like when she awoke - this crazed sleep deprived mad woman shaking her and telling her WAKE UP WAKE UP - for GOD'S SAKES - WAKE UP - with a huge knife in my hand.

She let out a blood curdling scream...............which in turn made me let out a blood curdling scream because I thought someone must be behind me for her to behave so irrationally.

Which caused all of the children to wake up - and we were on the rode back to the city within an hour.

The door to the basement ( outside door ) had been jimmied - the lock broken - but there was no access to the interior of the house through the cellar.
Someone probably looked in the window and saw this bat shit crazy lady walking around the house with a huge knife in her hand and thought
" no way " .....................
Or the lock was broken before we even got to the cottage.
We weren't quite sure of that.
_________________________________________________________________________________

But as much as I would have defended my kids to my death - there was another time when when we were downstairs watching t.v. in the family room and we noticed a mouse scurry past us.
We all made a dash for the stairs - and I - their fierce protector ran past them so that I could get upstairs first leaving them by the wayside - to defend themselves. I know Ashley was trying to get ahead of me - but it wasn't happening.
I'm definitely a Mama Grizzly.
Unless there's a ferocious mouse involved.
Then I become an elephant ( in the room )

We had a cat within a week.
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This video

Made my day !!!

I'm in the midst of painting a Union Jack somewhere in the mud room - I'll show you on Monday !

This mudroom that's taking an impossibly long time to finish must have been built for a few reasons............

First and foremost it's where the washer and dryer are
Secondly for storage
And thirdly it was a way to keep the door to the basement on the inside instead of the outside of the building.

The door has an empty space on top of it - like a cubby - where for the past year we've shoved as much as we could possibly get in there............with cords dangling from it - and tools precariously placed ( I was always sure a drill would end up on John's head every time he opened the door to go down there.
But now that I'm trying to make something of this space that just wasn't going to do any longer.

I needed baskets or bins - and I wanted them to be burlap - and I wanted them to be grey ( the entire room is white and grey )
And what's more - I have this disorder that entails me having what I want the moment the thought strikes my mind.............which is not easy when you're still in your nightgown in the middle of the day - with paint brushes and paint tins - and a ladder and boxes all over the floor around you.

Did I just mention boxes? Eureka !
I think that's the first time I've ever said that word in my life.
I think it may be the last................Good Grief - one too many Archie comic books as a kid

I always wanted to be Betty - but I find as I'm getting older I'd take Veronica's life actually.
And just like that - I completely lose my train of thought.

Okay here's a box

I bought a few yards of grey burlap last year because you just never know ( amirite? )
I ended up making a sail boat which I never showed because...............I have no idea why actually.
Anyway I cut enough fabric to cover the 3 boxes that were laying around my feet...............
And stapled it on to the box ( if they come loose I'll glue them later but for now it works )
Three of them - the exact number I needed - AND they fit perfectly

They look small in the photo - but they're actually quite large.

BUT - I was never going to remember what I had in there...........NEVER - and so I made tags - out of a fence plank - cut into squares.
I just gave them a quick white wash and stencilled " back plates " using chalk paint so that the wording could be changed if I want to switch out the sander for oh I don't know - monkey wrenches?
Of which I have no clue what exactly a monkey wrench is - but it's obviously something monkey's use
I'm not that blonde. ( actually I'm so overdue for the hairdressers that I'm not blonde period )

I figured I would just attach them with binder clips

But the wood was too thick - so I ended up stapling some black ribbon and then attaching the binders to the boxes and the ribbon.

If you're wondering why I need a box designated for shims - this house is almost 100 years old -
Enough said?
I think it's basically being held up with shims.

So now this little addition off the kitchen is a laundry room - a craft room - a mud room - and a tool room !

I'm glad I found something else to use the burlap for - because 3 yards to make this

Seems a tad excessive, doesn't it?

Have a wonderful day everybody !
Much love,
Me
( I think I'll get dressed today :)

This mudroom that's taking an impossibly long time to finish must have been built for a few reasons............

First and foremost it's where the washer and dryer are
Secondly for storage
And thirdly it was a way to keep the door to the basement on the inside instead of the outside of the building.

The door has an empty space on top of it - like a cubby - where for the past year we've shoved as much as we could possibly get in there............with cords dangling from it - and tools precariously placed ( I was always sure a drill would end up on John's head every time he opened the door to go down there.
But now that I'm trying to make something of this space that just wasn't going to do any longer.

I needed baskets or bins - and I wanted them to be burlap - and I wanted them to be grey ( the entire room is white and grey )
And what's more - I have this disorder that entails me having what I want the moment the thought strikes my mind.............which is not easy when you're still in your nightgown in the middle of the day - with paint brushes and paint tins - and a ladder and boxes all over the floor around you.

Did I just mention boxes? Eureka !
I think that's the first time I've ever said that word in my life.
I think it may be the last................Good Grief - one too many Archie comic books as a kid

I always wanted to be Betty - but I find as I'm getting older I'd take Veronica's life actually.
And just like that - I completely lose my train of thought.

Okay here's a box

I bought a few yards of grey burlap last year because you just never know ( amirite? )
I ended up making a sail boat which I never showed because...............I have no idea why actually.
Anyway I cut enough fabric to cover the 3 boxes that were laying around my feet...............
And stapled it on to the box ( if they come loose I'll glue them later but for now it works )
Three of them - the exact number I needed - AND they fit perfectly

They look small in the photo - but they're actually quite large.

BUT - I was never going to remember what I had in there...........NEVER - and so I made tags - out of a fence plank - cut into squares.
I just gave them a quick white wash and stencilled " back plates " using chalk paint so that the wording could be changed if I want to switch out the sander for oh I don't know - monkey wrenches?
Of which I have no clue what exactly a monkey wrench is - but it's obviously something monkey's use
I'm not that blonde. ( actually I'm so overdue for the hairdressers that I'm not blonde period )

I figured I would just attach them with binder clips

But the wood was too thick - so I ended up stapling some black ribbon and then attaching the binders to the boxes and the ribbon.

If you're wondering why I need a box designated for shims - this house is almost 100 years old -
Enough said?
I think it's basically being held up with shims.

So now this little addition off the kitchen is a laundry room - a craft room - a mud room - and a tool room !

I'm glad I found something else to use the burlap for - because 3 yards to make this

Seems a tad excessive, doesn't it?

Have a wonderful day everybody !
Much love,
Me
( I think I'll get dressed today :)

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Instead of showing a house that most of us will never be able to afford - I thought I'd go a different route this week and show you a fixer upper - with amazing potential.
I decorated it completely last night - with lots of WHITE and maybe some gray's
A brand new kitchen -
Floors -
For the price you could easily fit reno's into the budget - ( these prices are unheard of in Montreal - wouldn't happen - we paid almost 4 times the amount of this one - and it's far inferior )
We share a border with this beautiful State so it's one I'm familiar with - let's go !

That built in / pass through could be such a stunning feature - look at the crown molding on top !

A window seat would be a must for me in that window area

It looks like the floors could easily be restored to me - and there's pocket doors - gahhhhhh !

And white walls would do wonders ( after they were replastered I think ) but there's lots of windows

Stainless steel - White Carrera Marble - New floor !!!

With a butler's pantry !!!
O.M.G. - with a butler's pantry
And the cabinetry looks to be in good shape actually !

The doors are gorgeous - it looks like they have original hardware too ( check out the oval back plate ! )
And the rosette corner pieces ( forget the name for them ) are beautiful too !

Look at those drawers built in on the side of the stairs

Here's a bedroom - I LOVE that there's a large window just outside it at the top of the stairs
Check out the original high baseboards

As much as I LOVE the railing - it looks a little low doesn't it?
But that newel post !

I guess this is the third floor

There's more pics on the site - if you click the link in the description above.
It looks like a place where hippies crashed in the 60's to me - I can picture lots of beads hanging everywhere lol !
But what do you think?
Does anyone else see the amazing potential in this home?
I'd love to see Nicole Curtis ( from Rehab Addict ) get her hands on this one................
I'm in love with it !
( well I'm in love with the bones of it would be more truthful I suppose )

Monday, May 25, 2015

This will be used as a :folding " station " ( washer and dryer are to the right of it )craft " station "storage ( hidden behind the curtains )prep area ( for outdoor pool parties - since access to the back yard is off this little room ) or a place to mix drinks
It's even a place to paint small items !

How's that for versatile?

I actually used this as my kitchen island for awhile in our last house...................then my daughter took it to keep on her ( oversized ) balcony.
But she's moving - and no longer needs it - so Mom took it back - with big plans of repurposing it as a potting bench......................but because all well laid plans of mice and Suzan often go astray - it's ended up in the mud room.
I added a couple of shelves to store items..................just added them with metal brackets on the inside of the legs and then took a set of Ikea curtains ( white linen ) and used them to hide all of that.
Believe it or not - that's organized chaos on those shelves

The image on top is from the GRAPHIC'S FAIRY - this one here to be precise - I took away a little & added a little.
This image was done before my daughter took it - it was once black but being out in the elements it faded.
After giving the table a quick white wash - the image turned grey - so I outlined everything with a black sharpie and left the image a greyish color.

I also added a rail - so that I could hang things off the front of it for easy access............

This is what the floors looks like - and what we're working on today

You know, it would have been nice, very nice indeed if just one room in this house wouldn't have turned into a major disaster every time we started to renovate.
This particular room has been a nightmare ( well they all have )
We lifted the flooring and there were large gaping holes everywhere.................I don't know how we didn't go through them every time we took a step in there the last year.
It's almost done - but not quite.

But THE MOST VERSATILE TABLE is done !

And if you press yourself into the window wall - and turn on a right angle - and squint your eyes - you'd almost think the whole room was done

John says - What in God's name are you doing exactly?
Suzan says - Trying to get a shot of the back entry

John says - Ok Martha.................enough with the frills - we have still have work to do

Funny he should call me that - because I want to put up a clothesline outside - and get a really nice straw hat and basket - and come into the mud room a little breathless - with a perfect strand of sun kissed hair falling over one eye - my freckles pronounced from my light golden tan - a la Martha Stewart - look up at John - smile warmly and say " honey - the clothes are dry " and fold everything on the table while he makes me a martini - as bunnies skip across the grass and birds are chirping and soft classical musical plays in the background of a completely finished renovated house.

Until that happens maybe I'll just make myself a martini.

And keep working at it. One room at a time.

I don't have freckles either.

Oh and calling my table the most versatile table?
I guess all of them are, no?
LOL
Still, having one in the mud room is a good thing. ( see? I'm already talking like her )

John and I will both have a crow bar in our hands today.................a very volatile situation to say the least since neither of us know what we're doing.
At.
All.

If anyone taped us working you'd have the the most successful comedy show ever.
Dumb & Dumber attempting to renovate a house.
It's hilarious.
And just a little sad.