Breaking news – Chillin’ leaks

Following the political turmoil caused by Mario Monti’s announced resignation, and in order to achieve a compromise solution to Italy’s political deadlock, Silvio Berlusconi has been nominated as the new Italian Judge before the European Court of Justice.

In a press release issued a few minutes ago, the Italian Government states that:

“Berlusconi is the ideal candidate for the job: there is no other Italian citizen with more experience in Court proceedings, and his contribution to European criminal law is beyond question“.

Chillin’Competition has learnt that Mr. Berlusconi has already initiated the recruiting process for his new clerks. We have had exclusive access to a picture taken outside the villa where the interviews are being held; the picture conveys the sense of excitement and urgency prevalent among candidates to the job (see here).

The content of the tests remains confidential, but our sources tell us that there will be no written part.

Chillin’Competition’s Christmas contest

This is obviously a joke, but it’s also the opening post for a new game. Some of you certainly are (or should) be familiar with sites such as The Onion (Spaniards woud rather follow Elmundotoday). We want to play after them. That’s why we are setting up a contest for the funniest competition law fake news ;)

We are giving out a special pack of Christmas delicacies from my family’s bakery to the person who sends us the funniest fake news. We donñt care about length: they can be one page, one line, even just a headline could do the trick.

In a press release published on 20 December 2012, the European Commission confessed that its interpretation of parent-subsidiary liability had been “just a misunderstanding”. In view of the imminent fulfilment of the Mayan prophecy and the upcoming Armageddon, Commission Almunia has put an end to what it seems now, “was only a joke”.

A high-level official at DG Comp stated: “It all started as a bet with the legal service on “the most incredible liability theory”. We all thought that the ECJ would stop the game, but apparently they were also part of it. When the first judgements came out, we realised that the joke had gone out of hand…but it was already too late.”

Commission Almunia, who already joined the rest of President Barroso’s cabinet in an underground shelter in Charleroi (Belgium), where they will stay until 23 December 2012, commented on the possible review of past Commission decisions on the basis of today’s (unexpected) confession: “The Commission’s legal service has analysed the legal effects of the Armageddon. If the world still exists after 21 December 2012, any decisions prior to this date shall be final and, hence, cannot be challenged before the ECJ.” The Commissioner justified: “The European Union may be given a second chance and it will not the time to be resentful, but forgiving.”

Following a complaint by the company SaurikIT, the provider of the alternative app shop Cydia for jailbroken iPhones, the European Commission investigates whether Apple has abused its quasi-monopoly power over the iOS ecosystem to foreclose competing “Apps Stores” from its ecosystem by making jailbreaking too difficult. Jailbreaking is necessary to remove restraints from the heavily restricted iPhone operating system iOS.

Recent findings suggest that 100 percent of the iPhones shipped in the European Union come preloaded with Apple’s iOS operating system and that 96 percent of the iPhone buyers in the European Union are completely indifferent to price increases. Furthermore, empirical evidence shows that a vast majority of iPhone buyers wouldn’t even notice a price increase of 10 to 25 percent.

Apple’s App Store commands 99.15 percent of the market in iOS apps while Cydia’s market share fell from 2.24 percent in 2010 to 0.85 percent subsequent to the introduction of iOS 6 this year. A Cydia executive pointed out that Apple “uncompetitively made jailbreaking more and more complex in order to drive Cydia out of the market”.

The Commission announced on Tuesday that there are strong concerns about Apple’s conduct. Apple should be obliged to disclose and share iOS security vulnerabilities with its competitors to allow easy and hazzle-free jailbreaking for consumers. In the long run, the Commission considers to commit Apple to sell factory jailbroken iPhones in the European Union.

December 28, 2012. The CNC has just released its decision in the Torero’s case… the CNC has concluded that Cayetano Rivera constitutes a separate market for the purposes of application of article 2 of Spanish Competition Law. After a market test, 95% of the women consulted stated that they would never switch to another torero in case of a small but significant and non transitory increase in price …