Sooo, as i progressively get more sick, i find myself feeling so uninspired to create anything, as if i've lost my creative muse..my inspiration...maybe I'm just in this funk i can't get out of..not knowing how much more time i have on this planet can be a real bummer, but i wanna thank those whom have favorited my works, enjoyed them, left comments ect..it's really appreciated that ppl can find the time to do that..there are SO many talented ppl on this forum (some whom think they're shit don't stink can kiss my ass cuz u were once a novice) with that said lol I've been truly inspired by a lot of ppl on this forum to better myself artistically, those ppl whom have given me hints, tips, ect i thank you, it's ppl like you that make this site somewhat enjoyable to be on and thanks to those ppl whom have left me many messages on facebook, i thank you, they've made me smile and for those of you whom are on it, i'll be posting another video shortly on f/book on what's been going on...who knows what the future will bring..it's been a real blast looking at a lot of you peoples artwork..keep up all the good work and IF anyone has a spare kidney someone holla at me lol ok i'm off to play modern warfare 2..if you're on the 360 note me and i'll shoot u my gamer tag if you wanna get filled with hot shots to the cranium lol or just message me on f/book..peeeeeeace...

Soooo i really have nothing whimsical to type..hope everyone had a great holliday season..and personally i'm looking forward to the new year...i DID score a Wacom touch tablet for Christmas...SCOOORE..and will be putting it through its paces shortly. I am excited about all the new groups i'm seeing here on D/A recently, sometimes change is good ya know..other than that, i also look forward to seeing interesting new forms of artwork from all my D/A friends..the talent level on here just amazes me @ times...

SOOO after spending 5 weeks in the hospital, 2 of those in a coma, i'm learing to come to grips with nearly dying TWICE, and it's been quite the struggle...things like walking, breathing, going the the bathroom and just the little things i/we take for granted has become such a struggle to do, and it really makes u take notice of how fortunate i was before i became ill...but it's been a month since i've been out the hospital and i'm getting better everyday...i no longer require to be on dialysis, cuz my kidney function has returned to normal (that shit drains the life energy right out of you) and i have had my tracheotomy removed(imagine a 6 inch tube jutting out of your neck and not being able to talk) man that was pure hell, and i'm almost walking normally again still get weak but that's expected when you're lying on your ass for 5 weeks..but it's GOOD to be home....

the good thing is..it feels good to be back near a pc, and start doin graphic work again..can u imagine NOT being able to create/design things for so long? you have ALL these amazing ideas in your head and u have NO outlet to place them!! it's enough to drive you crazy...well most the ideas i had in my head were most likely induced by the LARGE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF DILAUDID/MORPHINE and other cool meds i was on lol (siigh i miss the dilaudid lol) but now that i'm home and have started to re familiarize myself with designing/creating things it brings a sense of normalcy? i guess to my life..the only bad thing is my main hand i use for the mouse/tablet pen still twitches alot which the drs said would happen so it's a work in process to maintain that aspect....

i just wanna thank the pppl who left me messages on f/book and noted me, meant alot to me to read those while i was away and look forward getting back into the swing of things again so look forward to some new works in the coming months from me ect ect..take care ppls..special thanx to, sabrina, bryce,gabby,katie,sharon and the rest spanx

so in case most of u have wondered where've i've been the past month, it's been in the hospital...those with my facebook are already up to speed..those who aren't ill fill you in..one month ago..end of july i felt ill and had to call 911, i went into what's called "renal failure" it's where your kidneys shut down and stop working..while in the ambulance i coded and went "acidotic" and stopped breathing, they had to use cpr on me and give me an emergency trach thru my neck to breath out and then went into a coma for 10 days, next thing i woke up in ICU, feling shitty as u can imgaine..i can barely talk with this tube in my neck and i can barely walk from being in bed for a month, getting my strength back slowy...finally came home last night but have to do dialisys 3 times a week until my kidneys start to act right, which they are slowly doing.. so that's where i've been, so don't expect alot of newer work from me for a lil bit, so t/y for all the prayers n well wishes and that's it

SOOOOOOO...here's a few things that have irked me lately...have you EVER come across a killer stock image you see, ONLY to increase the size of the image and it's ONLY a resolution of 400x400? grrrr and when you note the account holder, that's the only size they have.....:::: lol OR it's the right size, but of such POOR grainy quality, you think to yourself..wtf? did they see the type of grainy images they're uploading? now 1st of all i TRULY and GENUINELY have thanked EVERY stock artist's work I've used and thanked them for ALL their hard work and efforts for making it possible for us artist to create things with..I'm @ the forefront of that shit...but if you're going to be an "aspiring" stock artist, please invest in a decent camera or just read a tutorial or two..even note a veteran stock artist for advice..ok enough of that rant...OK..the NEXT thing that irks me "BUT I UNDERSTAND THE WHY AND REASONING" in this next rant..I've recently come across a few images that were taken by "professional" photographers just while browsing for stock artist and seen some images I JUST WANTED TO VECTOR RAPE THE SH*T OUT OF EM" lol but alas due to their rules and copyright ect they weren't permitted..that just REALLY irks me..BUT..as i said before I TRULY UNDERSTAND THE REASONING AND THE WHY" ...i mean if they've spent their hard earned money on a location, model fees and/or studio time..why should they run the risk of some ameteur ruining thier work or lowering the value of it by watching someone just add a shitty photo filter to it and calling it art..quite understandable..now THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES..when I've noted and asked for permission, and sometimes after looking over my gallery, they have been cool about it and either let me or denied me..so far, i'm 6-2(T/Y Rachel Dashae aka *Plastikstars) with yes being in my favor lol but it's still enough to irk the shit out of me..i mean who's to stop someone from d/loading their work..using blow up tools and clone stamping (which i'm GREAT @) and using it anyways for their own personal use<~~SOMETHING I DON'T DO BUT HAVE SEEN IT DONE...ok rant over..next

TRUE BLOOD..GOOOO HEAD TARA lol don't mess with that bitch and is lafyette JUST the shit or what..he's my fav on the show so far...damn i'm addicted to this show...ALSO in a close 2nd..is BURN NOTICE..another fav i love to watch..if you haven't seen it..i STRONGLY suggest you do..@ least until Sons of Anarchy returns hehe

SOOOOOOO...when i 1st started here on d/art i really didn't know what to expect, and over the past 2 years it's become quite addicting @ times...the amount of talented ppl on here is ASTOUNDING..really..i LOVE a to just browse profiles and new works and stocks..really i could do it for hours on a boring night...over time, i started to care about what ppl think of my work, is it good enough to post..will ppl like it will ppl fav or comment it? will i one day reach the holy grail of d/art and get on the front page or even dare i type it..i DAILY DEVIATION..and then i thought to myself...wow exactly why am i doing what I'm doing graphic wise? am i doing it to impress others? and i doing it to feed my own self ego? am i doing this to get better? am i doing this to get said recognition of a DD? and i thought well shit..and it made me realize why should i be chasing after it? it will come when it comes..but to be honest.. sometimes it's disheartening to accomplish something you've worked hard on and feel it looks great only to come onto d/a and look @ the front page and see works that just make u go WTF? ARE U SERIOUS? it seems as if your not posting naked images of beautiful women or not well known u fall by the wayside..BUT i now know that i do all of this for me...for MY ego..for MYSELF to get better..and i guess a small part of me wishes that more ppl got to see my works, but on a forum with MILLIONS of ppl with pages and accounts I'm just an needle in a stack of haystacks IN a larger stack of haystacks lol and of course i UNDERSTAND really i do , that I'm not the ONLY ONE to ever feel this way, it makes one feel that their work is inadequate when there's very little recognition of it but hey i guess i needed to vent a little..but now that I've gotten that out, achieving a D.D is no longer my ultimate goal, would i love to get one? of course..would i love to make the front page? sure but im now dedicated to making the best work i can for myself..to get betterand if along the way i make some see my work and they think ZOMFG THAT'S SOOO COOL then hey even more better ok as u were

Sooo i'm TOTALLY hooked on that show True Blood...and i mean HOOKED..you think those ppl on that show INTERVENTION need help? pssssh lol try and take away sookie and bill WE'RE HAVING ISSUES lol but it's just a great show all around and i'm SOO happy lafayette DIDN'T DIE! (even tho he does in the books)

Also i'm trying out a new journal skin..i HAVE desinged my own but i can NEVER get the coding corrector make it seem to scroll down long enough and after asking a multitude of ppl for help by which the only reply i've gotten was (I CHARGE/MY PRICE IS/WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?) i decided to use a free one..what ever happened to ppl just willing to help ppl for shits n giggles? kindness? maybe paying it forward? now don't getme wrong there have been PLENTY ppl ive come across here on D/A whom have given me lil tips and hints when i was struggling graphically, but it's been FEW and FAAAR between.maybe i'm just not in the right cliques here on D/A :::shrugs::: SOOOO with that vented out lol what next...

Hmmmm OOH congrats to the LAKERSSSSSSSSSS after all the shit i talked @ work you KNOW i was rooting for em hard core lol so mad props to the lakers

AAAAND finally (yes i know i'm rambling ) i can't help but feel the more vectors/vexels i do, the more self confidence i have in my works..especially when i look back upon my earlier works (YIKES WTF) loli've gotten more confident in doing hair (now realistic hair? diff story) i'm STILL having issues withthe blending ya know how ya use the blend options...make blend ect..now i can DO IT when i'm following chewdkandis video tut..yet when i try and blend a face shadow in the base face skin..TOTAL EPIC FAIL! lol SOMEDAY i will figure it out lol i think i twould be ALOT eaiser IF illustrator had the ability to use the eraser tool on a lower opacity to blend some hard edged lines (OR IS THERE AND I JUST DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT LOL)...so tell me..WHAT improvements do YOU think could be made in illustrator? decide and let me know here..

VEXEL = Raster art that takes after the style of vector.For the longest time up until last year..i NEVER knew the diff..until someone pointed it out to mein a post that i had called something a vector when in fact i had created it in p/shop cs4...At that time i NEVER knew there was a difference...at 1st i took offense to it..then over time as i started to delve more into illustrator and viewing others works..i discovered i was wrong and thanked the person that showed me the errors of my ways..as i become more experienced in this form of digital medium i am finding myself getting more involved in helping others try and understand the difference..(although i still need to correct a few labels in my OLDER works but haven't due to laziness lol)but simply THAT is the definition of a VEXEL.. a term coined by Seth Woolley swoolley.org/So i'm taking a page from a cool person and someones work and dedication to this medium i admire`ChewedKandi chewedkandi.deviantart.com/ and trying to pass the on the good word...Informationis KNOWLEDGE ppl..and the more we inform the more forward this style of medium will become..Do you want to help?You can do this in one or more of the following ways:1) Something simple is to display a stamp on your blog created by *Sewwy

SOOOOOOOOO after being away from here for a while..i'm FINALLY back up..well my pc is that is..since is epically crashed..BADLY and i lost a lot of things..luckily i had 3/4ths of it backed up PHEEEWSOOO after spending 2 days now restoring everything..i've started working on a few projects..i can feel how rusty i am so the 1st phew might be a little rough till i get back into the swing of it all..i should have a couple newer things ready to post in the coming days

Ok so..monday the 26th i was pumped all damn day cuz i knew..it was Metallica time and let me tell youthe Allatate Arena here in chicago,Il was ELECTRIC..despite having to pay $20 for parking and another $80 for floor seat tickets, it was well worth it..even the opening bands kicked ass.."the sword" and "machine head" rocked out for 30 min sets..then all of a sudden the lights go black, 4 HUGE coffins from the ceeling drops down and readjust and all u hear is a heart pounding guitar riff, eardrum breaking drums, fireball explosions and a laser light show and Tallica just kicking my ass for the next 2+ hour set..i felt like i just ran a maraothon + a heavy weight fight after leaving the concert i was DRAINED but it was all well worth it..if you EVER get the chance to see them in concert do it..u WON'T regret it one bit.

Ok so..monday the 26th i was pumped all damn day cuz i knew..it was Metallica time and let me tell youthe Allatate Arena here in chicago,Il was ELECTRIC..despite having to pay $20 for parking and another $80 for floor seat tickets, it was well worth it..even the opening bands kicked ass.."the sword" and "machine head" rocked out for 30 min sets..then all of a sudden the lights go black, 4 HUGE coffins from the ceeling drops down and readjust and all u hear is a heart pounding guitar riff, eardrum breaking drums, fireball explosions and a laser light show and Tallica just kicking my ass for the next 2+ hour set..i felt like i just ran a maraothon + a heavy weight fight after leaving the concert i was DRAINED but it was all well worth it..if you EVER get the chance to see them in concert do it..u WON'T regret it one bit.

Ok so..monday the 26th i was pumped all damn day cuz i knew..it was Metallica time and let me tell youthe Allatate Arena here in chicago,Il was ELECTRIC..despite having to pay $20 for parking and another $80 for floor seat tickets, it was well worth it..even the opening bands kicked ass.."the sword" and "machine head" rocked out for 30 min sets..then all of a sudden the lights go black, 4 HUGE coffins from the ceeling drops down and readjust and all u hear is a heart pounding guitar riff, eardrum breaking drums, fireball explosions and a laser light show and Tallica just kicking my ass for the next 2+ hour set..i felt like i just ran a maraothon + a heavy weight fight after leaving the concert i was DRAINED but it was all well worth it..if you EVER get the chance to see them in concert do it..u WON'T regret it one bit.

Ok sooo yesterday was no doubt EPIC and HISTORIC..the love and peace exemplified by those millions in wash. dc..well i just wish that kind of humanity was shown all over the world...i am so proud today..i was moved to near tears watching all 12 hours of CNN coverage lol i don't think i ever tuned my tv offa cnn i cannot wait to see what PRES. Obama does in his 1st 100 days..i really think he has a chance to do great things for this country and i pray that he brings forth our nation to epic heights and prosperity...

ps rjonesdesign giveawayre: My Nomination is..theyasman..[link]

i would have to go with this gentleman here...he has helped me several times with my vectors/vexels and has given me little tuts on hair all without that whole "what do i get out of it attitude..he's a real nice guy..alot of his work has inspired me to become a better artist and is simply a cool person (like some OTHERS ON HERE I KNOW =} ) take care homesliceCLUBS & FAV D/A PROFILES

DejaVu..grease..and other junksoo have you've ever been trotting along in life and realized..hmm this seems oddly familiar? have i done this before?i mean it may happen more than you think..now I'm trying to beguile anyone into thinking i'm clairvoyant or shit BUT for me..it comes in the form of a dream..i'll have a dream i'm doing something and then maybe a month or two later down the road, that very same thing i dreamed of, is happening? and i don't realize its deja vu or what it was i had dreamed until it happens..and i thin SHIT? i dreamed this was going to happen, but that dream had happened many months ago? and it throws me for a loop everytime, i dunno maybe i have some sort of voodoo psychic ability i haven't tapped into yet lol maybe it's me wasn't sure if it's happened to anyone else frequently

so as i type this the movie "GREASE" is on the t.v, now mind you, i've probably seen this movie 89454725 times, but since a friend of mine is staying here, THEEEY wanted to watch it lol..now the problem i have is..when you're watching this movie (besides ppl trying to hit the high notes in the song SUMMER NIGHTS) is that secretly..seecretly..the next day, you're sining damn grease songs all day lol it's like this shit gets stuck in your head like ground hogs day ooover n ooover n ooover lol ALTHOUGH Rizzo is a real bitch and i love her lol

well i was going to rant about something else but our pizzas here MMMMMM nothing like chicago style DEEP DISH giordanos pizza<3333 if you've never been to chicago, and had thier pizza..i feel for ya lolCLUBS & FAV D/A PROFILES

soo i'm excited cuz in two weeks fckin METALLICAAAAAAAAA will be here in chicago @ the allstate arena and i have tix to see both shows ON THE FLOOR! wooot i'm such a huuge fan of them it's rediculous..so for that i'm stoked.been listening to them all morning lol

ok so my rants..so currently i'm trying to understand how to do css, here on the forum, and although i've ran into alot of free css templates," some really nice" i just can't understand the coding, EVEN with tutorials..i have NO ISSUE desinging it myself, but the coding part is hard for me..so i went into the d.a "official chatroom" and asked if there was anyone who would do the coding for me if i designed one myself, and the 1st response i got was.."well how much $$ are u offering" no i don't mind paying if i have to, but sheesh..what ever happened to camaraderie, doing something out of the niceness of "helpng others in need"? or just a nice act of gesture? maybe it's me, maybe it's my upbringing...i mean look at ALL the wonderful ppl uploading beautiful stocks, donating their free time..images..time efforts to bring stocks to us here on d/a that use them, all with out pay? well 90% of them..all they ask for is credit? and maybe a donation for exclusive packsbut i dunno, i just found it really disheartening not to find som,one willing to help just to help..i guess some ppl don't believe in "paying it forward" o well rant overnow as for chai tea...yes i know im late on it but OOMFG sooo good im addicted to it now lol mmm<333

sooooo despite being here in the midwest, let me tell you..IT'S FREEEZING here this week..like -5 with windchill cold..and since i looked out my window and see 6+ inches of snow on the ground, i looked at the news forcast and seen -5 with windchill and thought to myself HMMM this looks like A FINE DAY to call into work lol.

So with that thought i called into work today..made a pot of coffee and surfed D.A for some new stocks to work with, & see what clubs are out there to my likings..so between working on a vexel and surfing d.a i came across this club and spent at least an hour perusing it and it really peeked my interest. So needless to say between drinking coffee and surfing D.A and finishing some projects, it has been a relaxing day...

ok some gripes i have...personally i feel that if someone favorites one of my works it would be cool if they actually left a comment for me to read, kinda feeds my ego lolALSO i am a HUUGE FAN of all the ppl who create stocks for us artist to use..manipulate, ect..they come in handy and it's so appriciatedstocks like well look at my friends and 90% of them are stocks so pick one..what irks me IS....ppl who use low quality 2.0 mp cams or cell phone cams to take stock picks with, or not even trying to learn about lighting, technique or anything..i mean why even bother...and also the whole bloody mouth thing has been done to DEATH (no pun intended) but unless u can put a NEW spin on it why bother? it's like taking a stock and JUST putting some color filters on it and slapping some text on it blaah

so i had a previous d.a account that was subsequently banned because i used an render (precut image without a background) and used it in one of my artwork projects...now this image i found on a royalty free site (planetrenders.net/) which is a website primarily where artist render photos ect. for others to use..well i guess the image i found on that side was copyrighted unbeknown to me, and i ended up using it in a photomanip art work and my account was summarily deleted without notice, without a warning, not even asked to be removed by the powers that be..yes i was pissed and written many emails (ALL UNANSWERED FYI) so i decided to give this another go...i love this medium this outlet in which we call deviant art so enjoy...look around and drop a line or two..