I haven’t used this site in foreverrrr, don’t even know what the last thing I wrote was. I have a website with an actual theme, but want to share something else today, that doesn’t belong on there, and I have no other media outlets, so here this one is.

I had a “best friend” for like 9 years or something, who I shut out of my life. We haven’t spoken in a couple years now.

She’s one of those rare people in our lives that while we know we are better off without them, we continue to miss.

In this case, I am not so sure if it’s her I miss, but who I thought she was.

If she only knew I still think of her pretty often. That her sense of humor and adventure grabbed me in ways that no other girl has.

But beyond the good parts that kept me letting her back in, I remember why I had to say goodbye. Fuck, I didn’t even say goodbye, I simply hung up on her while she spoke. Correction- while she berated me with a disgusted tone.

It was the last straw. I had been bending over backwards for a guy for months who treated me like absolute shit. I was willing to take more bullshit from the guy, but at this point, I at least was aware inside that it was wrong to let people treat me like shit. And since I’d been putting up with her for so much longer, it was easier to resolve for myself all of a sudden that I didn’t need this crap from her, and I hung up the phone. These people just aren’t worth it.

(Thankfully, I had the backbone to stop taking bullshit from the guy eventually as well.)

But alas, like I said, the years have gone by, and I wonder how she’d feel if she knew I still wish it had turned out differently. That I share our inside jokes with my husband, and tell him every time that even though I can’t be her friend again, I do treasure the good times, and let myself enjoy the memories. I occasionally wish I could enjoy a moment with her, knowing I just can’t go there, that I’ve given it another chance too many times now.

She’s someone I have to do without, and understand what her relationship meant when she existed in my life. More importantly, I have seen life without her, and understand that this is how things are meant to be.

I called my car insurance company today. As a former Verizon rep, having called all sorts of 888 numbers, I am pretty pro at navigating the worst automated answering systems out there. Two things I learned at Verizon are, most systems do not simply make it easy to take care of your business, and that you can usually tell from the beginning of your call if this is a system you’ll have to actually FIGHT to get through. Anyway, today’s call to insurance wasn’t difficult, but it was a prime example of the more annoying systems.

It started with having to wait to dial my extension. Which was tolerable, but I had to press pound (#) first and pound after. Okay, I coast through. Whatever, big deal, right? Move along. Then it had me verify the extension, which started me getting ticked off at the robotic voice. Okay, I pressed # to verify that, and then it repeated the name of my party. It stated its office hours. “…and Saturdays, 9-4:30.” Right now it is Saturday @ 10:38 AM. I wasn’t surprised when it then told me no one can reach my call, and that I should leave a message with my claim #, name, and phone #.

That’s fine, I have my claim # right in my hands here. I prepare for the prompt that will command me to enter it:

“…you are unable to leave a message because this mailbox is full. Thank you…” *click*