IN THE WOODS A MAN FINDS A LOG THAT IS COMPRISED OF THREE FUSED TREE TRUNKS, HE COUNTS BACKWARDS, AND THEN HE EMBEDS A ONE CARAT RUBY IN THE GROWTH RING THAT CORRESPONDS TO HIS SON’S BIRTH YEAR.

it's that aromathe fragrance of eastern forests

it settles in your bonesstraight into the marrowso that you pass it on to your children

I've been taught that the affinity for atoms to achieve stability by gaining or losing valence electrons provides a foundation for bonding...

and when we dieour cells live onour cells live onbut just for how long?

and will they know that smellwhen it hits themwhen it always hits them

below the beltand waiting for pharmaceuticals in Walgreensor seated at desksin South Carolina placesyou've only arrived at for the first time

the imperfect particlesthe ones of which I am madethe ones given to methe ones I've passed alongthe ones that will someday kill me then youthen those of us yet to come...if they are to come at all

I've been taught that in atoms, the amount of valence electrons in their outer shells determines how the atoms interact with one another...

and orbitsand apogees and perigeeswe grow together and simultaneously apartour role in growing together is ensuring you grow apart from usyou are a satellite built for launchearly in July into the cancer skymuch like my fathersome half a century before

I've been taught that an atom is said to have a closed shell when it has enough valence electrons in its outer shell in order to make it stable...

and today I recognized you for a moment as someone elseyourselfand all the Saturdays and evenings of workI don't get that time backit is a very limited allotmentI don't get a moment of it backjust knowsomeday all this will be goneyou, me, mom, Niels Bohr and hydrogen atoms

and thirty some years from nowif we all make it that farwe'll celebrate the revolutionsof roughly half our lives, all of yoursforty times around... soaking in the UV side by siderecognizing the naturally occurring raritybut knowing it does nothing toensure such future stabilitybecause we are getting olderand we all know where getting older ends

I've been taught that an atom is said to have an open shell when there are not enough valence electrons to make it stable, and an atom with an open shell is constantly trying to reach stability...

and when you are almost grown, when you are olderyou will know when the fog sets into the valleyyou will know that it is morning hereand you will know your parents arewaitingbut the draw elsewhere will be too enticing to return

and just before the backyard endsthere is the smell of cool air creeping out of the woodsa few steps past the perimeter...it says enjoy it nowbecause somewhere in here is the place from which your childhood ran off never to return

I've been taught that the most reactive atoms are those that have electrons to lose, or those that have electrons to gain in order to maintain stability...

and they speak of infantsand how they bond by following moving objects with their eyesand I'm thinking of this as I observe more planes than satellitesI'm looking for satellitesin the late summer night skies...when if I lean back and blow up to themI can see my breathdisappear into the deep blueand then lose it with the rest of the moving lightsin all directions above

the natural progression of being your parents is one of losing youand then you will lose usand never remember when we take a breath, release, and never repeatthat we lost you first