Tray Tables Down, Are Tempers Up?

November 22, 2007

This may indeed be the most turkey of times to travel all year: The Thanksgiving holiday is the bane of the bashed-up flyer, who gets the stuffing knocked out of him when trying to wedge a 200-pound carry-on into a 3-foot overhead compartment.

As a service to Jewish Exponent readers, here are a few tips on how to avoid those fowl moods:

· No need to cook the turkey in advance. Stuff it inside your luggage and let the X-ray scanners do the work. Nothing tastes better than a radiated wing after it's been through the line four, five times.

· To be treated courteously and graciously, ask your friendly examiner if TSA is a technical school or community college, and what its mascot is.

· Ask your steward to go over all the new rules and regulations for liquids since your list was too heavy to put in the bag.

· Tell the pilot you just qualified as a member of the "Air Rage Club."

· Keep the window shade open at all times while they're showing the movies and announce periodically, "I know Ted Danson doesn't fly like this!"