2010 Illinois Election Guide

Which explains why Pat dumped Scott for that toothy, down-home shiksa who plays the banjo.

Seeing Red: Republicans Who Could Reshape Illinois Politics

The break-up was especially hard because Scott had to see Pat and Sheila together on TV. There was the happy couple in Springfield, smiling together onstage after Pat announced the engagement. Then they were at Manny’s Deli, sharing a laugh over pastrami sandwiches.

So Scott’s decided to get back at those two. Scott told his friend Mike, who is speaker of the state House of Representatives, that he's still mad about the way Pat treated him, and that since Pat won’t have him as lieutenant governor, he’s going to run for governor himself.

Last week, Scott ran into his ex at a White Sox game. He told Pat to “get ready for a big surprise.”

Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows what “You can do whatever you want” means. It means Scott better not go messing with Pat’s new romance.

But Pat dumped Scott. That means Scott can do whatever he wants. To run for governor, Scott needs to collect 25,000 signatures. That’s where you, the voters, come in. Are you on Team Scott, or Team Sheila?

If you think Pat shouldn’t have dumped Scott for that Downstate tramp, sign his petitions. If you think Sheila is way better for Pat, and that Scott should just get over it and find another state that will have him as lieutenant governor, then vote for the Democratic ticket in November.

Just remember, if Scott does get enough signatures to run for governor, he’s going to need a running mate of his own.