Especially your point with the changing art. So far I only saw my previous art as bad, and only bad. Your point with appealing simplicity is a thing I really need to focus on. I hope with my new pages I'll be more able to combine details with a cleaner artstyle. The thing with the inconsistent details will be a neverending story I guess... Might be part of the learning process, but I can't see the problems at first... Everything seems perfect until I reread it months after posting and I'm like... WTF did I do? xD But I'm really happy the backgrounds work out^^ I hated doing them in the beginning and now I love to draw them.

Yup, the story is planed out almost entierly (with some room for last second ideas ^^) Especially the ending is set. But I highly agree with the problem with the filler pages. They weren't meant as such and had the purpose to introduce the world some more, but some infos are just... not necessary (like the thing with the age and how the letters change and so on) .A'Mara was the Main Chara in this world before, so I wasn't able to let her not exist in this story, but yes, she uses up too much "camera"-time. This whole market-scene got too long but I'm not yet sure, how to fix that. I plan to clean out unnecessary pages and dialoge somewhen, but this isn't my highest priority.

As for Osram... I'm happy you feel that way ^^ I might have overdone it but she is meant to be annoying (I don't yet like her eather :,D ) She will get punished for her behavior, that much I can tell you ^^

I'm going to take a turn from my usual format. This comic requires a specific approach.

Before I get into the nitty gritty, I need to tell you that I'm honestly floored by your dedication to this comic. We're coming up on the four year anniversary of this thing--that's a longer run time than at least 90% of all web comics EVER made by ANYONE. That is what gives me great confidence--you obviously have the stamina and the grit to commit to a project and maintain it. That's applicable across domains of life. I want to open with this point, because it is key to understanding the core of my review.

When I started offering Meaty Reviews, I grappled with the obvious conundrum--how honest am I obliged to be? After reviewing around 40 comics so far, I can confidently say that those who submit their work to a self proclaimed "VERY honest but NEVER meanspirited" thread deserve nothing but the full, unvarnished truth. To that end, I have elected not to use the traditional review format for Birthmarks of the Dark World. The reason: that format would not help you in this stage of your creative aspiration.

Here is the honesty: the technical skill presented in this comic, both artistically and narratively, is low. There is little to no grasp of art fundamentals, nor is there a coherent story being told. I do not have any advice to offer particular to your comic, because at this stage, it would not be anywhere near as helpful as my recommendation that you put this comic on hiatus on spend time practicing and studying how to draw. This is compounded by the apparent lack of meaningful progress in your skill level over the past 3 1/2 years. While it is admirable that you have spent this long dedicated to this project, it is not admirable that you would not invest enough in the work to try and make significant advances in your technical artistic abilities.

This is why it is so important that I point out your strong dedication--that is the key to real progress and real success. If you can channel that commitment and dedication toward artistic development, you will easily blow through your current skill level and start pumping out tons of high quality content. That, however, WILL take an investment of time--but it will be time well spent.

To conclude, I feel compelled to reiterate the honesty and the advice: your comic is not up to snuff, and its skill level is not conducive to normal critique or review. That said, I am nothing but optimistic about your journey forward. As long as you channel your energy and dedication--which is clearly evident in your comic's longevity--into practice, study, and deliberate, disciplined improvement, your skill level will meet and even surpass your creative ambition.

Apologies for almost a month long wait time. I've been hunkering down on my own comic these past few weeks to the exclusion of all others. Hopefully, I can bang out the last 3-4 of these in the next week or so.

It's good to see that you made progress since first submitting your comic. Yes, there is normally enough to say about a few pages to fill out a meaty review, but the more material the better, obviously, particularly because one of the most important parts of review is identifying patterns. Patterns arise over time and across production. This is more evidence for the obvious--the best way to improve your production is to produce a lot over a long period of time, while self reflecting intermittently.

Goals/Intentions:I'm intrigued by the idea that this is a practice comic, as it has the markings of a relatively long term project. There's a sizable cast, and the premise implies that there is a deep well of mystery surrounding most if not all of them. What do you feel you need to practice? Is it technical skills or discipline? It could be both, obviously, but I think people tend to eventually come to terms with their level of technical skill, regardless of what it is, in the interest of finally getting started. Back to my initial point, it is only through the doing that you can improve. Devoting this project to practice and refinement is a smart move no matter how you slice it.

I'm also interested in what you consider "long." So far, your comic has been ongoing for over three months. That's not a long time, obviously, but all evidence that I can gather from it suggests that there is much more to come. If this project is not complicated and long term, I'm interested to see what your next project looks like.

Art:What strikes me immediately is the neatness of the environments. Specifically, the house interior looks like an IKEA catalog. On the one hand, the polish is easy on the eyes--almost therapeutic, actually. Marie Kondo would be proud. On the other hand, your environments are entirely devoid of character or emotion. All sense of mood and atmosphere is missing on every page. The hospital-esque lighting, the perfect geometry, and the soft, light color only succeed in imparting a sterilized comfort--maybe not even comfort; maybe it's just a smothering neutral hue.

This normally wouldn't be too much of an issue, particularly for a preparatory project, but given that this comic places a great deal of emphasis on the nature of the house, I think you should pay careful attention to this problem. Environments are the bane of every artist, I know, but if the heart of your comic hinges on its setting, then you are obliged to give as much character to that setting as possible. Dynamic lighting, a unique interior design, or disquieting architecture are a few examples of how you could give the house the same level of depth that you no doubt have planned for your characters.

Speaking of which, the characters also seem to suffer a similar impairment. There's nothing outwardly and aggressively wrong or off-putting about them, but, much like the house, they are chained up by their neutered designs. None of them are remarkable, and none of them are remarkably unremarkable. They are standard issue manga characters, without any of the traits that manga protagonists normally have to differentiate themselves from the amorphous crowd shots. Hair color is all they have going for them. Once again, this is a problem insofar as you make the claim in your premise that these characters have secrets worth discovering--Suar and Kenan in particular, I imagine.

Perhaps their more-than-mundane appearance is intentional, but I don't think it is a good reason to have so little character conveyed through visuals. There is nothing visually compelling--not expressiveness, not oddity, not novelty, not drama, and not sheer technical prowess. You should strive to find the stylistic method of grabbing the readers' attention and keeping it. As it stands, I can't imagine these visuals piquing anyone's interest.

Writing:There is little to go on here, but I have a few points.

As I mentioned above, the visuals are not pulling their weight when it comes to conveying character and narrative leads. The writing itself isn't doing much to help, either. Now, that said, I want to point out that the hook regarding Rul's paranoia is by far the strongest part of the story so far. It's amusing and it suggests some key parts of Rul's nature, namely his superstition and conspiratorial leanings. It may be an unfair comparison, because there is far more overt drama there than in the secretive student guests, but I maintain that it is far closer to the tension of the premise than the other plotlines. I want to know if the house is haunted or if Rul's imagining things--or maybe better yet, I want to keep guessing.

The students are just not interesting. They speak their minds at all times, and their constant commentary on what other people are doing or saying sucks the tension and weight out of every scene it happens. Sure, it's early, and they've only been around for a few updates, but time is precious in the comic world. Every page without a hook brings you closer to a reader bailing out. Without visual hooks, you're relying on the writing to keep the reader invested, and right now, the story isn't bringing me closer to the primary conflict.

It begs the question of what the purpose of the school hi-jinx are when the main plot hook--the possible supernatural nature of the house--is so strong. Once again, the strongest moments come when the nature of the house intersects with the nature of its residents. Kenan's question about why the house was so inexpensive was funny. His staid election as class representative pales in comparison. At least for me, it is a missed opportunity. This could be something you feel you should reflect on--weighing the worth of the house and the worth of the student drama. You know where my bias leans.

Summation:There isn't too much to go on, but there is enough to notice an unfortunate pattern of sterilized visuals and dialogue that so far have confounded the primary premise of comedic intrigue. The premise suggests depth, but that suggestion is all there is. Hints come from incessant character commentary and the meta-commentary of the creator, not from the comic itself. The problem is underscored by the conflicting plot lines of student slice of life and a mysterious house--the house trumps the students, but that makes the slice of life comedy frustrating to wade through.

Thank you so much for your review! I wouldn't be able to spot the things that you pointed out. Now, I have list which to improve and that helps a lot! I couldn't thank you enough for the time you spent to write this elaborate review!

As it turns out, I have had zero time to spend on this, as you have no doubt noticed. I have thrown myself at my own comic and several art events in the community, as well as working my day job. That said, I expect to finish my first ~80 page chapter by the end of June, whereupon I will be going on a summer hiatus. During that time, I will be able to fully commit to these once more.

I apologize for the delay without a word. I enjoy doing these, and I think they are valuable. Everyone will get the meat they deserve!

Apologies, again, for the long delay. I decided that I was not doing anyone any good by splitting my time up in so many different ways. I have now finished the first chapter of my own comic--100 pages--and I am on a three month hiatus, during which I intend to do more of these reviews. Starting with this one.

I can say now that your summaries are largely ineffective at giving any sort of preparation for what your comic is about. That is largely due to the lack of content so far. I don't know if I can truly answer your concerns about characters, motivations, or likability at this stage. I assume we have just met the main character. By the looks of things, progress has stalled on your comics for personal reasons, so we'll leave it at that.

Art:There is a dramatic gulf of quality that defines the comic art so far. Environments and character hair is rendered well enough, and they are often really great. Page 4 especially shines for its really effective backgrounds. I'm not sure exactly how it was done, but it looks damn good. Now and again, there is pixelation, however, which is yet another manifestation of this problem of disparity. Much of the comic is tremendously good looking, while eyesores are peppered throughout. The pixelated gate on Page 4, for example, breaks the chain of compelling setting pieces. The haunting church interior and religious symbolism of the prologue pages clash with the muddy, smudged characters themselves.

There is a definite and apparent attempt to strike an abstract, dreamlike appearance throughout the comic, but the shapelessness is ultimately damaging to the look. It is difficult to follow what is happening, especially in the most recent pages. After the woman enters the manor, my ability to follow the sequence slows down. This is where larger panels of establishing environment shots would be very useful. You begin to use them when she looks down the hallway, but other than that, there is virtually nothing else for a reader to use as a grounding panel. There are too many close ups and not enough wide shots.

The characters themselves are not yet up to snuff. Their faces look painted onto their spherical heads, their mouths are too large, and they lack expression. There only seems to be one or two facial expressions used, with minor alterations made along the way. They emote general unease more or less constantly, which makes it difficult to follow an emotional arc along with the events--the emotional arc of a character being one of the most important pieces of context to a story's events.

The problem of panels rears its ugly head again, here--all but two of the panels showing characters in the comic are close ups of the face or eye. That is a fundamental issue on its own, but it compounds the lack of expression. If most of the comic is looking at a somewhat shaken young girl, it isn't going to be very compelling. I would spend time practicing more dynamic panel compositions, but perhaps go even further and practice more full body anatomy. Once you're comfortable with the general shape of the full human form, you will have tremendous freedom to compose panels as you like.

Writing:

Given how early in the story this is, I don't have too much to say, here. As I mentioned earlier, your summaries do not give much insight into what to expect or look out for when it comes to reading. The events themselves are difficult to follow visually, making the writing component almost irrelevant. I don't even think I can assume who's name is who's from the summaries. I follow that a young ghostly, monstrous girl kills at least two nuns in a strange, cyber-punk like church; and I follow that another young woman arrives at the church or mansion to investigate. Beyond those story beats, I am lost.

The actual dialogue is unhelpful. The characters say very little of any substance. The blonde girl spends all of her screen time giving curt answers to the driver's questions and saying "Who's there?" The demonic child is absurdly cryptic--generally an unhelpful pattern to have so early in the story. There is dark, grim poetry of some sort in the prologue, but it is incredibly hard to read a lot of it due to the text color and lack of bubbles. It can be extremely effective to blend the dialogue with the visuals, but neither can support themselves, let alone the other.

Summation:I don't know if you're still working on this comic. Your account has been inactive for some time. That is your business, of course. While it is still very early in your comic, you have enough here to make it clear that you will benefit from a more deliberate, thoughtful approach. My guess is that your lack of technical skill--which is nothing to apologize for, ever--is leading you to take shortcuts and cut corners that you cannot get away with. It is a paradox that a lot of us fall into. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your mindset, the answer is time well spent practicing and polishing one's abilities. Creative ambition has to be married with creative industry.

I used to do them constantly, but my life schedule changed dramatically. I can't do them as quickly as before, but I do want to do them regularly. I'm going to finish reading Action Fruit Society today, throw up my review, and then go and do some reviews for a bunch of people I've scheduled in on another platform. THEN, I'll be back here to review more Tapas comics.

Your series is hugely different from most series out here for many reasons--the hand drawn bit is by no means the only reason. This was an intriguing read that took a lot longer than I anticipated. Several people have commented on your comic over the course of run regarding the surge of very specific nostalgia that saturates your comic--the feeling of being back in early grade school and doodling in your notebook. I did that a lot as a kid, and regardless of what your comic is beyond its medium, that made it uniquely compelling in a way I did not expect. We'll get into that later.

Art:I'm not sure how much there is to say here--it is hard to tell how much is intentional and how much is a matter of circumstance. On the one hand, the simplicity and, most of all, the impeccable consistency, augments the baked in nostalgia trip. Apple, Pear, Pineapple, and Orange are always on model and are archetypal in their simplicity. It is exactly what a third grader would doodle in his notebook; it is exactly the kind of thing I did. It is thematically perfect--and consistent.

The problem is not the crude nature of the drawings. The doodle nature fits the theme. The problem is the composition. It is a debilitating problem. The patchwork photo gallery look is not only an ugly distraction, it makes the comic really difficult to read at times. The "panels" are so clogged and jumbled together that the text bubbles need to be warped and squashed not for any artistic purpose, but because unfortunate circumstance demands it. The reliance on the natural lighting in any given photo creates another dimension of obstacles. All of it together makes the comic look not only unprofessional, but a chore to read.

I saw that you were experimenting with color in the banner. I actually don't think you need color at all. if you devote yourself fully to the notebook doodle aesthetic, you can achieve a unique, peerless style that makes a great foundation for all kinds of creativity--which, given the n umber of adventures the Action Fruits have been on, you have in spades. But you will need to apply a more disciplined approach to presentation. I won't presume to guess at what methods you have available to you, but it is well worth your time to devise a better way to frame and compose your panels. You need space for the text bubbles and you need the same level of consistency you have in design as you do in lighting and pencil pressure. Oftentimes, the linework is faint and grey--another dimension of difficulty in reading. Simplicity, cleanliness, consistency, and dedication to the notebook doodle adventure style will pay enormous dividends.

Writing:It's hard to judge the writing of a comic like this, which has such a boldly child-like imagination to it. It is, at times, perfect--the frankness, the directness, the innocence, and the complete lack of pretension or prognosticating is not only refreshing, it's downright compelling. That inherent nostalgia for the notebook doodle adventure is once again doing wonders and providing an intriguing frame of reference for the whole experience.

That said, I think you're in far too much of a rush with most of the plotlines. Each adventure has a decent amount of build up, but I found that the resolution often happened within 3 panels. That sort of lopsidedness makes for unsatisfying adventures. The longer multi-part adventures are far and way more satisfying, even if they often lack the creativity of the one-shots. The pacing is largely disturbed by the sheer power of the Action Fruits--these guys really kick butt. All the time. With tremendous efficiency and ease.

This is not only a pacing problem--although that is a big deal. This becomes a problem of emotional stakes. I expect the Action Fruits to pull victory from the jaws of defeat. It isn't that I expect them to lose. The issue is that they very rarely seem to be in any danger whatsoever. The tension built by the Toymaker's robots is dashed by how easily the Action Fruits destroy them. I want the Killer Agents to pull of some crazy antics, but they don't last three panels in the ring with Apple. This has become less of a problem in recent episodes--the Kraken, the Legendary Stone Goblin, and Toyota's duel with Man-Snake make for great fights generally speaking, but most of the others end pretty abruptly. Again, this problem is exacerbated by how much build up and context is provided in the beginning of each adventure. You should either redirect some of the build up time to the climax, or you should pack more action in the climax. As it stands now, there just isn't enough climax to justify such a long and meaty introduction.

Summation:This is an absolutely fascinating comic, ultimately, and I think you have one of the few unique creative foundations that I've seen. The notebook doodle adventure is nostalgic, exciting, and oozing imagination. But you are hamstrung by extremely poor presentation, unprofessional composition, and constant pacing issues. The creative power of the Action Fruit Society will be channeled much more effectively if it is put in a structured page/composition befitting its own child-like energy.

And with that, Season 3 comes to a close. I apologize once again for the multi-month gap. Life, as we all know, has a nasty habit of interfering with creative ambition. That said i will be back. I promised another comic community that I would give them meaty reviews, but I hope to return here in a month or two to review more of the many strange and wonderful comics the people of Tapas are making.