This old Austrian billionaire might just be my hero. He just married that German blowup doll one-quarter his age to be his regular pecker wetter, but he’s still doling out the 500K paychecks to get celebrity chicks in low... READ MORE

I can’t help but feel George Clooney missed out on this one. I know models like to talk about scarves and plot revenge against the bitch that stole their mascara and stare at dots on the walls for hours... READ MORE

I often mock Europe. I just did. Fuck them and their green pants. But they do have this topless sunbathing thing down. Not the public beaches where the large German ladies roll about like beached manatees smoking unfiltered Camels.... READ MORE

Look at this, George Clooney. This was your girlfriend a couple or three model girlfriends ago. Look at her, dammit. I don’t care about your fancy I Heart U Obama parties or how Brad Pitt comes to your sleepovers... READ MORE

I always thought it would be pretty hard to forget the fact that model Elisabetta Canalis followed up her relationship with George Clooney by dating Steve-o (twice), because that’s not a step down. That’s walking out the front door... READ MORE

If anyone ever doubted that a man’s first choice in ladies is always whoever’s next, you need only look at Elisabetta Canalis. Or I guess now Stacy Keibler, who was next after Elisabetta before Stacy got ‘nexted’ herself by... READ MORE

What started out as an erotic afternoon of ass rubbing between Sacha Baron Cohen and Elisabetta Canalis ended in tragedy today after Cohen showed his penis to Canalis. The Italian supermodel began to laugh and seemed to think it... READ MORE