DEATH OF THE FAMILY this week: BATMAN #16, BATGIRL #16, BATMAN & ROBIN #16

A King, a bride, a prodigal son and a silver-domed serving platter seeping with blood: this isn’t a Don Mclean song; it’s the latest happenings in the Joker’s reign of terror against the Bat-Clan. “Death of the Family” is the panacea of how events should be run, with the sum being greater than the whole of the parts while not forcing readers into imbibing every mother-loving book to understand what the hell is going on. Synergy has also been the mantra of this series. Each book has kept chronology straight and truly built off the last, and this week’s books are the absolute proof in the proverbial pudding.

Now, since I’m a completist I’m reading every tale, even the ever-so-tangential DETECTIVE, but this is my compulsion at work, not a mandate from DC. Every character has their beef with The Joker, and with only a few weeks left we now stand at the precipice of his grand plan’s fruition.

Before we pontificate, let’s SEE what these penultimate series of books have to tell.

BATMAN #16 Snyder delivers the most esoteric of this week’s offerings, with the motivations of the Joker still only being understood by him and him alone. He’s blathered about breaking up the family for issues now, so Bats could reach his full potential, but the means to accomplish this end seem haphazard at best. However, when dealing with a psychopath it’s probably best not to understand. When last we saw Bats he was on his upward climb into the mouth of madness that is Arkham Asylum. Now Bats is cowl-deep in the crazies, following a maze of gore that led to his throne. Yes, the King has returned and his court consists of Penguin, Two-Face, Riddler and, of course, the Jester himself. Why Joker is anointing Batman remains unknown; the joy in this issue remains firmly steeped in Joker’s twisted sense of humor. Endomorphic inmates dressed as the JUSTICE LEAGUE, flaming horse torpedoes, and a double cross on his accomplices are what keep the pages turning. The issue ends as all will this week: Joker gently lifting the lid on a silver-domed serving platter.

BATMAN & ROBIN #16 Gleason still wins the award for creepiest representation of the Joker’s rotting Halloween mask. It’s attached, but not really. It’s intact, but not really. It’s creepier than POLTERGEIST’s Carol Ann in a movie with the two chicks from THE SHINING, really. While I’m still partial to Joker’s macabre puppetry with his flesh mask in last issue, Gleason does a great job of still making this the face of fear. Likewise, Tomasi hits every psychological chord expertly to make Damian believe he is in a mano-a-kido against dear old Dad in a fight to the death. Obviously it’s not, but Damian’s belief rips off his emotional scabs to reveal an epiphany that not all “bad” guys should be killed. As with BATMAN, the last page is the Joker serving Robin…something under a silver-domed serving platter.

BATGIRL #16 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate an unraveling of the mind. No, not Joker’s--that ball of yarn has already been undone. Barbara’s sanity is what’s at stake in issue 16 as she becomes the wedded wife of Mr. J. Why is the Joker suddenly interested in betrothing Batgirl? Well, we’re still not sure. Again, it has to do with tearing the Bat-Clan asunder, but it’s still inconceivable how Joker’s scheme will all come together. Benes balances beauty with horror in this issue, giving us one of the best rendered Barbaras we’ve seen. I’ll also say there are a ton of other artists on this book, but not once was the shift jarring or out of place. Each artist hand-off was so perfectly timed with the movement of the plot chapters; I honestly thought the changes were merely Benes making stylistic shifts for mood. This issue also answers the age-old question about how long Barbara was Oracle (or merely wheelie-bound) in the New 52. The answer? About a year. Simone delivers her final piece of goodness in redeeming James Gordon Jr. (sort of). Since Snyder took Jimmy J on in DETECTIVE, he has become one of my favorite new Bat villains, and clearly one of the Joker’s favorites as well. This issue, as with all others this week, ends with the Joker revealing something to Barbara under a silver-domed serving platter.

What’s Next? All right, now let’s speculate. The serving platter at the end of each issue this week is a pretty good indicator that Alfred is what’s for dinner. I find this to be too easy and convenient. I still don’t believe we are to take the “death” in “Death of the Family” literally. It’s too easy, and Snyder has already alluded to the fact Joker wants Batman separated from the family, but not necessarily shuffling off any of their mortal coils to achieve this end. Also, to kill Alfred would do anything BUT tear the family apart. Let’s be honest, they would band together to pound The Joker into white jelly if he touched one combed over hair on Alfred’s head.

Basically, we still don’t know Jack…or Joker.

Optimous Douche has successfully blackmailed BottleImp to draw purty pictures for his graphic novel AVERAGE JOE coming out in 2013 from COM.X. When not on Ain’t It Cool, Optimous can be found talking comics and marketing on robpatey.com and just marketing on MaaS360.com.

SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #1

Sometimes, you just have to wait and see. I was little surprised at the complete and utter fanboy reaction the masses had to AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700. Undeniably, transferring Otto Octavius mind into Parker’s body and leaving Peter for dead is incredibly provocative, even for comics. But did anyone really believe this would be permanent?

SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #1 picks up with Otto continuing his pledge to be a better superhero than Peter ever was. However, Ock is quickly learning that this undertaking may not be as simple as he predicted. Oh sure, he may have the abilities and memories of Peter Parker, but will he have the resourcefulness to cope with Parker’s responsibilities? Only time will tell.

H8ters will be h8ting, but I think Dan Slott knows what he is doing with SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN. Slott gives us a radically fresh approach to the character, and maybe the biggest obstacle of all for Peter Parker to overcome. As Spidey, Octavius is anything but friendly; he is calculating, fast to strike and without mercy. He also wisecracks with far more pretentiousness than Peter ever dreamed of exhibiting. As Peter, Otto seems to be happy dividing his time between scientific pursuits at Horizon Labs (Peter’s place of employment) and romancing the red-hot Mary Jane Watson.

Artist extraordinaire Ryan Stegman jumpstarts the new series and definitely helps gives the book its own flavor. His sequential storytelling flows splendidly from page to page and feels more aggressive than previous Spider-books. My only criticism would be that some of the story panels (particular when action is involved) can come off a tad busy.

What makes this story interesting is the way Otto seems to have painted himself into a corner. No matter what feats he accomplishes in his new role, ultimately Peter/Spider-Man will receive the acclaim, not to mention the fact that Ock is developing complications doing anything villainous while inhabiting Peter’s body--no doubt a side effect of Peter’s memories influencing Otto’s actions, or could Peter still be in there struggling for domination?

Pick up SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #1 and find out for yourself why death is only the beginning.

PRISON PIT BOOK FOUR

The neverending battle between wrong and wronger continues in this fourth installment in the backwards fever dream that is PRISON PIT. How do I explain this book to the uninitiated? Remember LIQUID TELEVISION? MTV’s animated show scheduled at night back when MTV showed videos? There was your BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD and THE MAXX and THE HEAD and the like and then there were these out there cartoons that simply defied logic and good taste. The kind of fun that had you laughing, spitting out your food on the friend sitting next to you and screaming, “Dude, what the fuck?!?!” Multiply that feeling by 11 and you might begin to scratch the surface of the depraved and fascinating world of PRISON PIT.

In this installment of PRISON PIT, Cannibal Fuckface wakes up in a spaceship called the Caligulan and discovers the only way to pilot the ship is, of course, to fuck its vagina-like controls. While dreaming of vagina dentata, Cannibal Fuckface must battle the ship itself and then a monster growing out of his own severed arm in order to maintain control of the ship. Later, as the ship breaches the surface of an alien world, Fuckface must once again do battle with three scoundrels lead by the truly evil Undigestible Scrotum. Will Cannibal Fuckface be able to fight his way through these fearsome gladiators? Will Undigestible Scrotum live up to his name, or will Cannibal Fuckface dine tonight? Find out in this installment of PRISON PIT.

This is the kind of sick shit that would warrant a trip to the school counselor if you found this crudely etched into the back of your child’s Trapper Keeper. Johnny Ryan once again taps into something primal and pure with his crude drawings of gore, sex, and violence. PRISON PIT is sure to offend and I love it for proving that the next page will most likely be more offensive and wrong than the last. Follow Cannibal Fuckface on a spree of wanton badassery in this fourth book of PRISON PIT, but if you’re offended, don’t say I didn’t warn ye.

STAR WARS #1

One year and counting - the timer for when the black mouse slays the dark horse’s rights to the empire that Lucas built has begun. For as much as I love the original STAR WARS trilogy (episodes IV, V, VI), like most Gen Xers I feel an equal disdain for all that came after. Thus, my comic experiences with the STAR WARS universe have been extremely limited. Old Republics, New Republics and anything where I can see Anakin’s face versus his dark respirator are simply not for me. I don’t fault those that like these expansions; I applaud your 30,000 leagues deep exploration of a universe you love (God knows I live in these deep bowls of nerdom with the spandex set), and I can listen to those passionate specifics of fandom for hours - simply not me.

So, you can imagine my elation when I walked into the comic shop last Wednesday to see a STAR WARS cover with the holy quintet of Luke, Leia, Han and Darth adorning it in traditional old movie poster style. “Optimous, you dumb dick--there have been other comic series focusing on the original series.” Touché, dear reader, but in many instances the number count was impenetrable for my OCD nature of imbibing a complete series. That or they may have been in the same time period as the original movies, but focused on characters you saw on screen for 3 seconds. Being in the position I’m in, I’ve been privy to all of the Dark Horse press releases about this book that promised the classic characters filling in the gaps left wide open between or during the original three movies.

In the opening pages I truly thought Wood had lost his mind as we watch Luke, Leia and Wedge scouring the universe to find a safe haven for the Rebel Alliance to set up shop. A few more well-placed cues, like mentioning the fresh wound of the destruction of Alderaan, allowed me to piece together we are post “New Hope” but pre “Empire”. Could finding a new base really be a compelling story? Ludicrous. Once I let fandom subside, though, and actually started reading the interchange between Luke and Leia via their X-Wing comm system, I realized exactly what Wood is trying to accomplish with this series.

This STAR WARS is not just about trying to find a new base. This series is about humanizing the primary characters of STAR WARS in a way I hadn’t seen before. How do they truly deal with the future of the galaxy weighing upon their shoulders? “Didn’t Lucas do that already?” you might be asking. Sure as hell not like this. I have a fondness for the man’s universe-building skills and big ideas, but if the prequels taught us one thing it’s that Lucas can’t write fucking dialog to save his life. Also, when left to run rampant with his gobs of money he creates wafer thin characters enveloped in hollow moments. The thing that made the original trilogy stand above the new three was the fact Lucas couldn’t go unchecked back in those days.

Wood, given his name, ironically succeeds in breathing new life into creation that are wooden in Lucas’ hands by comparison. Again, I truly do love the original trilogy, but reading this STAR WARS was like meeting an old friend again after they had matured over time. You will know these people upon first seeing and hearing them, but you will know them 10 times better than you did before at the close of the issue. Luke is a little more than whiney and agog, Han seems to have a deeper motivation in life than just money, Vader is handed is ass for losing the Death Star and truly hanging his big black hood in shame for the loss.

As the issue progresses this becomes more Leia’s bag than Luke or Han’s. After the scouting mission with Wedge and Luke goes bust because someone from within the Alliance tipped off the Empire, Leia is given carte blanche to form a black ops team to keep looking for what we all know will be Hoth.

D’Anda draws some gorgeous starships in this with meticulous detail right down to open ports for small ships to fly into. The first page when the Star Destroyer jumps in on Luke, Leia and Wedge was absolutely draw dropping. I’ve always been of two minds with properties that use the visage of real-life people. In the SERENITY/FIREFLY comics it freaked me the fuck out how eerily familiar they looked because there was a lifelessness to them at the same time--like seeing your favorite actor frozen in carbonite. With STAR WARS, though, D’Anda is able to capture their faces while still making them free and their own entities apart from Carrie, Mark and Harrison. It’s a unique skill, to be sure, that all licensed property artists should study.<br. There’s really nothing more to say than this may be my first STAR WARS comic, but it assuredly won’t be my last.

THOR: GOD OF THUNDER #4

Ok: in a nutshell, Thor hasn’t been this good since the JMS days! I won’t say it’s as good as what J. Michael Straczynski and Olivier Coipel were doing; they had such a slow, majestic burn that it’s pretty impossible to top that. Still, Aaron and Ribic are kicking off something that could be another epic run here. So that’s the review. Well, I suppose we can have some fun talking about how awesome it is.

Let’s start with Ribic’s artwork. He’s got a great touch for Thor. His work has a great sense of old storybook and epic tale to it. I get kind of an Edmund Blair Leighton (look that one up, culture lovers) vibe to it with his romantic-looking figures. Ive Svorcine’s coloring is a perfect fit for Ribic’s work, and the tone of the book as well. It’s all very ethereal and romantic. Seeing them depict Thor in three different time periods is pretty damn cool as well. Old man bad @$$ Thor with the missing Odin eye is very cool. The villain is pretty sweet looking as well. His pic on page 12 is very cool--such a great pose, and well drawn. I also appreciate that Ribic is drawing a comic book! So many artists today want to illustrate frames of a film, with no speedlines or other action details. This often leeches the panel of their energy and makes them less clear. Ribic keeps it all in there, knowing this stuff is important in selling the action and intensity of the action.

The story has been a bit of a thriller, with Thor tracking down the Butcher of Gods. The Butcher is pretty much your average psycho killer, except he kills gods--all of whom seem to have no defense against his powers of torture and mutilation. You can tell how much Thor wants to take this guy out and because of which, you can’t wait to see it happen. The jumping between time periods (past, present and future Thor) adds an extra layer of interest to the story--begging the question how the Butcher has managed to survive Thor all these years, and how Thor has survived him all these years! This issue gives us a clue on how this could have happened, which should be pretty damn interesting to see play out--now that’s a team-up! Aaron is doing a great job so far of putting this all together as a creepy little story of epic proportions.

As a side note, I’ll mention how I’m a reader who values plot over everything else. I’ll put up with run of the mill characters if the plot is good, but I’ll check out fast if the characters are good and the plot is dull. So stories that center around what makes a character tick are rather boring to me. They can make for great character moments in a story, but they shouldn’t be the story itself. Nor should a story just focus on re-writing character history, switching settings, or just changing the status quo (like putting the villain into the hero’s body). To me, that all just comes off as soap opera tricks to keep a series rolling for x amount of years. I believe it also shows that the writer has nothing to say about the character, which is why they have to change something about the character. So I prefer a good plot of faithful characters doing interesting and challenging things. This is what Aaron is doing, and what JMS was doing with Thor as well. They weren’t trying to make Thor more interesting by saying secret societies in Asgard’s past are secretly ruling it today. They are allowing Thor to be interesting based on how he handles the challenges he faces.

Ok, enough of that. So, if you were on the fence on giving THOR: GOD OF THUNDER a try, you have no need to worry--it’s one of the best Marvel Now has to offer. And with the first story arc looking to wrap up, you better hurry.

Learn more about the Masked Man and feel free to critic his own comicbook endeavors at www.Toonocity.com

THE ADVENTURES OF LIGHTNING SQUIRREL #4

How could one not want to read a comic entitled THE ADVENTURES OF LIGHTNING SQUIRREL? The flying superhero rodent of New Jersey kicks ass, steals acorns, and spits some killer rhymes while doing so. The comic reminds me of the Nicolle’s AXE COP: ridiculous and wrong, and yet so, so right.

For those that haven’t read Ambush Bug’s previous reviews (here and here), in the fourth issue of THE ADVENTURES OF LIGHTNING SQUIRREL, our masked furball of justice faces the wrath of Swimming Lady. He’s electrocuted her, embarrassed her, and eradicated her clone-bots. But Swimming Lady enlisted the help of her boyfriend, Comic Man, to build her a killer robot. Thus Airhead was born. Will our electric super-animal finally face a real threat from his arch nemesis?

For those that have been reading the comic, this issue is one continuous story, action-packed from beginning to end, but such a storyline feels fluffed. It’s nice to see that Kipnis keeps the jokes comin’, even in the midst of an aerial battle between an Amazonian robot and a pint-sized poetic bushy-tailed champion. But bigger is not always better. Cabanelas, who has brought to life great villains such as the Ice Cream Man (or, as I call him, Edward Spoon-Hands), is at his best when drawing out detailed panels instead of full-page spreads of action.

I absolutely loved the first three issues. Gotta give credit to Mickey Clausen and Ed Davis for their color work on the hilarious covers. Though this issue’s climactic extended battle sequence seemed out of place for the series, Kipnis and team left me laughing by the end, leaving me with great expectations for the next issue.

Lyzard is actually Lyz Reblin, a senior screenwriting major with an English minor at Chapman University. Along with writing for AICN, she has been published twice on the subject of vampire films.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE SECRET OF THE FOOT CLAN #1

If you have not picked up the TMNT series by IDW, you are missing out. Seriously. They have breathed new life into an old franchise. It kick-starts the Turtle mythos once more, and they have successfully made it feel fresh and new again but with a great nostalgic vibe to it. It is out of this new take on the Turtles that the new mini-series THE SECRET HISTORY OF THE FOOT CLAN comes.

To begin with, it is an impressive outing for Mateus Santolouco. Not only did he come up with the plot, but he co-wrote the script (with Erik Burnham) and handled art duties. I’ve never even heard of this guy, so I’m glad I picked this one up. Let’s start with a look at the art.

It is beautifully drawn and inked. His use of line work and lights and darks really make his art jump off the page. The only complaint I ever really had with the new Turtle series is the simplified art. That is definitely not the case here. From the first page to the last, this art is beautiful to look at and absorb. It’s one of those books that you find yourself looking back over and getting lost in the panels. The use of colors is great here, too. For a story that treads against a backdrop of Japanese history, they picked a great almost muted pallette to work with. Not only is the interior nice, but the cover is pretty attention-grabbing as well. It has one of the gnarliest portrayals of the Shredder I have ever seen. The Turtles make an appearance in it, too, and kudos go out to Santolouce here again for his ability to show the Turtles’ personalities in their faces. Too often, you can only tell the Turtles apart by their weapons and their masks, but I really think I’d be able to distinguish one from the other by facial expression alone.

Now, the story. Santolouco is a great storyteller. Weaving together past and present, the history of the Foot Clan is far more interesting than I was prepared for when I grabbed this from the shelves. For a 22 page story, Santolouco really packed in the plot. It felt longer, but that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes I read a comic, and while I may enjoy it, I feel like it was over too quick. No bang for my buck. Not the case here. Santolouco had me jumping around in time and location, but with a pace that kept me interested as the history of the Foot clan was laid out for me. It was a seamless transition that he handled quite nicely. It’s a great story full of ninjas, samurais, and demons, all set against a Japanese backdrop. Legends were built; power was usurped, then usurped again. (Oh, that’s right. I said usurped. Twice.)

I didn’t feel like the story and art was cobbled together and rushed. I felt like someone had worked on this for a long time and a lot of forethought had gone into crafting this tale. Santolouco cared about this story, and he has quite an interesting tale he is weaving together here. I eagerly look forward to the next issue.

Advance Review: In stores this week!

INSURGENT #1

I’m a big fan of these new books that are “not quite Vertigo” and “definitely not New 52.” Following on the spectacular success of the first hybrid entry, LOT 13, INSURGENT hits the shelves with a cool twist on tomorrow and some spectacular art from a group of guys I haven’t heard of yet, but expect to hear much more from in the future.

While INSURGENT borrows from a few sci-fi tropes, it reinvents them all imaginatively, and thanks to Dallocchio’s art, excitingly moving. Insurgents is the new name for Borg, but unlike their robotic predecessors, Insurgents 1.0 look more like 7 of Nine than, say, Decker from BLADE RUNNER. That’s right, Insurgent 1.0: the 2.0’s don’t happen until twenty years later.

2018: America is in the pits. We didn’t pull out from our current political abyss and the country stands on the brink of implosion. A corrupt President creates the Insurgents to thwart domestic threats; unfortunately, thanks to some loose wiring and the excruciating pain of cybernetics grafted to skin the Insurgents go rogue and become the threats. Enter John Ravane, rogue Insurgent hunter and man thoroughly fed up with the system. Ravane gets his mark and then we flash forward to a very special news montage.

This was really the only time the book slowed down, and unfortunately it’s necessary with only six issues to play with. Were this an ongoing the team could have devoted a few issues to what happened over the next twenty years. It’s a shame, because these were an imaginative two pages as we see the President of the US assassinated for creating the Insurgents 1.0, watching the nation tear asunder into Red and Blue state governments from this final straw of political incompetence and control, and finally a new gleaming tomorrow under the guidance of President Chong. Chong stretches the budget line item for Science and the USA becomes the nanotech exporter to the world.

The rest of the book seemed to move by in seconds from this part as we meet a sleeper Insurgnt 2.0 who had no idea she was part robot, and finds out in a baptism of blood; we learn Chong isn’t as immaculate as he first seems and a terrorist organization is activating Insurgents to execute an attack on the US. We also get to see Ravane come back into action to hunt these new sleeper Insurgents down before they cause more bloodshed, and we find out he's been raising the daughter of one his past hits for the past twenty years. The government holds this and the daughter's lack of knowledge she's not Ravane's kid as a bargaining chip to keep a tight collar before Ravane goes back into action.

I applaud DeSanto and Farmer for not stretching the boundaries of everyday technology in tomorrowland. Everything seemed appropriately futurey for twenty-six years from today. We won’t have replicators, but hologram communication seems plausible since we can already send hologram signals via our ancient intertubes. Likewise, Dallocchop does a great job with future fashion and hairstyles. This really is a pretty book; this is very similar to the art on I, VAMPIRE in its dreaminess, but everything is much much brighter in INSURGENTS.

It’s a smart move on DC’s part to enter the high concept, continuity-free miniseries realm. Other publishers of much more modest means that rhyme with Shwimage produced a deluge of new material in 2012, enticing some pretty prominent names to peddle their own ideas instead of churning brain gold out for “the man.”

INSURGENT shows DC’s commitment to comics beyond the cash cows whose logos bring in millions. Now, please do this more. I warn you now though, guys--if Ravane is really Decker from BLADE RUNNER (you know what I mean - unicorn dreams), you will feel my wrath.