Politics

“If me and my husband are cute enough to get every conservative state but Alabama to run our wedding on children’s network television, Pete and Chasten are for sure cute enough for any other issues with his platform to just get totally overlooked.”

“Hunter’s political commentary on Justin Trudeau circa 2001 may have offended some of our peers,” stated Smith’s roommate Brock Brunson, “but how is he supposed to be held accountable for his actions AND have a wild Halloweekend?!”

Melania could not be reached for comment, as she was busy staring out a White House window, her hand pressed against the cold glass, thinking of the days when she was a young girl and had nothing, and how much she took those days for granted.

Aiken pounded the competition week after week with top-notch speeches, rallies, and appearances. His opponent was less consistent, having a small number of impressive performances but many that were met with mediocre reviews.