Putting The Pieces Of The Declining Yankees Attendance Together. . .

[Post] An Italian eatery just steps from Yankee Stadium is charging customers for slices of pizza — and sex with their wait staff, a new lawsuit claims. Yankee fans heading to Stadium Pizza after ball games are treated to a smorgasbord of waitresses and bartenders moonlighting as prostitutes, according to a lawyer for former employee Olga Contreras, who is suing the restaurant’s owners for sexual harassment, said her lawyers, Matthew Blit and Amanda Gudis. Contreras says she has spotted one worker frequently giving oral sex, and customers disappearing into the restroom with the staff. In documents filed yesterday in Bronx Supreme Court, Contreras, 29, says she was forced to clean up “numerous used condoms,” but never prostituted herself while working at the dive from 2005 to 2012. She claims that, because the owners forced her to lift heavy items, she suffered a miscarriage after she got pregnant by her boyfriend. In March, the owners, Tania Jimenez and Francisco Almonte, fired Contreras after she walked into the kitchen and said in broken English, “I am hungry,” the papers state. When a Post reporter called for comment yesterday, the eatery’s phone was not working.

There was a story on Deadspin the other day about the Steinbrothers & Levine ® blaming the secondary market, namely StubHub, for the decline in attendance at Yankee Stadium this year. How that makes any sense I have no idea. As if anyone is saying, “Reasonably priced tickets? No thanks. I’m paying astronomically high face value or I’m not going at all”. If it weren’t for Stub Hub, I doubt I’d go to more than a couple games a season. Bad enough you’re dropping three figures per person in concessions after you get through the gates. So this little theory about StubHub keeping the seats empty is absurd to say the least.

But now that this Post story has come out, things are starting to make a little more sense. Poor StubHub is just the fall guy in all this. Yankees Brass can’t come out and say what they know is really swallowing up their customers… literally. Pizza Parlor Prostitutes! Makes perfect sense. Why would I want to pay fifty bucks a beer and sit a mile above sea level when I could be in the back room of a pizza joint, scarfing down calzones and playing hide the sausage while Suzyn Waldman whispers sweet score updates in my ear? I’m kidding of course, I hate Suzyn Waldman. Pizza, poontang and the national pastime. My three favorite things wrapped in to one glorious dump of a restaurant in the Bronx. Hank and Hal don’t stand a chance.