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Merry Christmas guys! I know it's way too late to say this, by the time I post this, it's already 29 December. But Merry Christmas nonetheless, I hope you're enjoying your holiday with your beloved family and friends.

John Green is one of my favorite authors, but I never plan to buy this book because I don't usually enjoy reading books that have more than one author. However, I did want to read this because John Green wrote one of the stories in this book. So, when I found this book at the town library, imagine how ecstatic I was! Since I mentioned that I will write a book review of Let It Snow in my last post, here it is!

Genre: Romance, Young Adult, Contemporary, Holiday (Christmas)

Pages: 365

Goodreads rating: 3.85/5

My rating: 4.05/5

SynopsisSparkling white snowdrifts, beautiful presents wrapped in ribbons, and multicolored lights glittering in the night through the falling snow. A Christmas Eve snowstorm transforms one small town into a romantic haven, the kind you see only in movies. Well, kinda. After all, a cold and wet hike from a stranded train through the middle of nowhere would not normally end with a delicious kiss from a charming stranger. And no one would think that a trip to the Waffle House through four feet of snow would lead to love with an old friend. Or that the way back to true love begins with a painfully early morning shift at Starbucks. Thanks to three of today’s bestselling teen authors—John Green, Maureen Johnson, and Lauren Myracle—the magic of the holidays shines on these hilarious and charming interconnected tales of love, romance, and breathtaking kisses. (source: Goodreads)My ReviewThis book really suits my mood and my surrounding! In December, it rains so often in Ranau, especially where I live (I live on a mountain lol not lol), it's so cold. It feels like I'm living in Seattle sometimes. This book is perfect to curl up with when it's cold outside and when you're feeling the Christmas vibe.So basically this book contains 3 stories which are The Jubilee Express, A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle and The Patron Saint of Pigs.The Jubilee Express - Maureen JohnsonLet me treat you with the first paragraph of this story:Before I take you into the beating heart of the story, let's get one thing out of the way. I know from experience that when it comes up later, it will distract you so much that you won't be able to concentrate on anything else I will tell you. My name is Jubilee Dougal. Take a moment and let it sink in.This book has a good first impression. From this paragraph, I knew that this story will have me laughing, not just because her name is Jubilee, but because even from this paragraph, she already made me smile. Out of the 3 stories, this is my favorite. Even after I finished reading this story, I still smile like a crazy person because it has so much effects on me.I love Jubilee's witty personality, and I love Maureen Johnson's writing. It is really fun and easy to read and now I'm rooting for another book of hers!💕 And the ending had me laughing so much and smiling to my ears, it is so sweet 😆*this shows how cheesy I am*. I really enjoyed the way Jubilee and Stuart getting to know each other and starting to fall in love. I don't really believe in love at the first sight, but I know the chemistry between Jubilee and Stuart is real.My rating for this story: 4.8/5 (I'm too rate-stingy to give it the full rating)A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle - John GreenIt wasn't as good as I expected, but it's good nonetheless.As I expected, John Green's story from this book will contain an adventure, and it really does. From the beginning to the end, it's full of adventure. It also contains one of the messages that majority of John Green's books contain: You only live once. And I think that's what makes this story is so enjoyable. The other thing that I really enjoy from this story is the friendship of Tobin, the Duke and JP, of course. I really love a good friendship in a story. Sneak peak:-There is always a risk: something is good and good and good and good, and then all at once it gets awkward. (the part after this made me laugh so hard)-I always had this idea that you should never give up a happy middle in the hopes of happy ending. Because there's no such thing as a happy ending.and my fav-We just did an awesome job of not dying. (I don't know why this is my favorite, maybe because this is me after doing something that I'm scared to do.)

When I started reading this book, I thought the Duke was a boy. Turned out, I was wrong, it's just her nickname. This is just um, kind of a mental note for the people who wanted to read this. This book had me laughing, not as much as how I did when I read The Jubilee Express, but there are some parts that make me laugh so hard.

My rating of this story: 3.75/5The Patron Saint of Pigs - Lauren Myracle
My least favorite. I don't hate it but I love it enough to finish it. One of the things that I enjoyed when I was reading this book is that this story had a lot of parts that can be made as a quote.

My favorite quotes of this story:

-We are all flawed, my dear. Every one of us. And believe me, we've all made mistakes. You've just got to take a good hard look at yourself, change what's need to be changed, and move, pet.-Christmas is never over, unless you want it to be... Christmas is a state of mind.-Sometimes when we forget to do things for others, it's because we're too wrapped up in our own problems.
A lot of reviews that I read said that they don't really like the lead character. I can't really say that. I don't hate her and I don't love her too much, but what I love about her is that she tries to prove that she isn't what people think of her, and that reminds me of me. I have that struggle too, people give me some bad reputations based on my past, and it's really hard for me to prove to them that I've changed.

My rating of this story: 3.6/5
Overall, this book is sweet, fun, full of humor, heartwarming, it's perfect for you who want to add the Christmas vibe or anyone who enjoys good love story without feeling any frustration.

Hello guys! I can't believe it's December 20 already! Just 11 days more towards the new year😱 I'm so excited and quite scared because I don't know what lies ahead (nobody knows but Him). The only thing that I can do is do my best in everything, expect for the best and always be prepared for the worst. This year had been hectic with the friend dramas, my dramas, the business, everything.

I've been spending most of my holiday at home, there are not a lot of new things except for new books, or music I just found on Spotify. But I'll still write about it nonetheless because these things I'm writing about are the things that I'm obsessed with throughout this holiday.

Books:1. Let It Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green, Lauren Myracle

I found this book at the library and I immediately knew that I would love it. One, because it's so Christmas-y and I love everything Christmas-y (Christmas movies, books, songs, vibe, decorations). Two, because it's co-written by John Green, one of my favorite authors! So I took a risk by borrowing this book even when my debt to the library already reached 3 digits (omg). When the librarian warned me to not return any book late anymore, I was so embarrassed but I tembokkan muka nonetheless to borrow this book.

I'm not going to spill anything about this book, as I'm going to write a review about it soon.

2. Eleanor & Park - Rainbow Rowell

I know, I know. I'm so lame because everyone already read this and I'm left far behind. Actually, I could just get an e-book of this, but I want to have a copy of the book and not read the e-book version. I know the content is the same, but the feeling is not the same. So I ordered it from bookdepository along with 2 other books, and this book arrived first! I got it in my hand yesterday, and finished it yesterday, in one sitting. That's how determined I was to read this book. Now, I can't get the book out of my system.

Why I love this book so much:
- I love Park.
- The mix tapes! The Smiths, The U2, The Cure, The Beatles, all old bands that I love are mentioned.
- I never fell in love, but when I read this book, the love is described with enough details to make me feel the feelings Eleanor and Park feels.
- "I told you that I don't like you". I love it when Eleanor or Park says this. I don't know why, maybe because it lets me know how much they feel about each other, it's so much more than just 'like'.

Playlist(s):1. Christmas & Chill - Ariana Grande

I've been loving this EP since last year, when it was released. Since Christmas is around the corner, I think why not I start listening to Christmas playlists? I don't celebrate Christmas, but I love the vibes. To be honest, I think I love every festival vibes. During the Chinese New Year phase, I love it when Chinese New Year's songs are played in supermarkets.

2. NEW YEAR PLAYLIST 😀✨💞 (my Spotify playlist)
In the beginning of this post, I mentioned that I'm excited and scared for new year. When I'm scared, I usually try to run away from the things that I'm scared of. But the thing is, I can't run from new year. I have no other option than facing it. Since music is one of the things that help me get through 'stuffs' in my life, I thought of creating a playlist for me to get spirited for new year.

My favorites among the favorites are Don't Stop Believin', Don't Dream It's Over and We Are The Champions. The old songs are always the best👍

TV ShowWeightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo

I seriously can't even describe my love for this drama. Oh my God. Lets talk about how sweet Joon-hyung (Nam Joo Hyuk) is. Or how cute Bok Joo (Lee Sung Kyung) is. Gosh, I've been obsessing over this drama for days now. I started binge watching it last Friday because whenever I open my Twitter, all they talk about is about this drama. So I was curious. Plus, Nam Joo Hyuk is the main actor. Now I'm waiting for the next episode, which is plain crucial. Waiting isn't fun at all. That's why I usually choose a drama that is already completed instead of the on-going ones.

I can't even think why you need to watch this drama, for me, the fact that Nam Joo Hyuk is in it, and Lee Jong Suk was a cameo in it already enough to make me watch this drama and helplessly waiting for the next episode.

My latest OTP.

There, my first long post after weeks. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy sharing them with you. If one of these things is your favorite too, leave a comment below so we can fangirl about it together😆

I can't believe I almost delete my blog (again). I am busy even when I'm having a holiday, I thought I will be too busy to update my blog next year, I was having a writing block (I still am) so I thought it was the best to just delete my blog. However, I love this blog too much to straightaway delete it when I was sure so I only made it private. It was a right decision because now my blogging spirit has got better after I went blogwalking and read tons of articles about why I shouldn't delete my blog.

When I went blogwalking, a lot of bloggers have done this TMI tag by Liyana Jasmi. So, since I'm still having a writing block and doing this TMI tag seems really fun, I decided to just do this tag.

#1: What are you wearing?
I'm wearing a dark grey sweatpants, a light grey t-shirt and a beige-colored thick varsity because it's currently raining heavily in here.

#2: Ever been in love?
Nope.

#3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
Does friendship breakup counts?

#4: How tall are you?
161 cm (5'3). I hate this because my friends think I'm too tall but I think it's the average Asian girl's height😑

#5: How much do you weigh?
I gained too much weights after the holiday started. It's 62 kg. Urgh.

#6: Any tattoos?
No, it's haram.

#7: Any piercings?
Nope. But maybe soon.

#8: OTP?
Oooh I have a lot of OTPs. But my personal favorites are Macy and Sam from TBBATT (my fav Wattpad book), Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games, The Monday Couple and Luna and Neville from Harry Potter.

#18: Favorite color?
I don't have a particular favorite color so maybe pastel colors and the blue+red combination.

#19: Loud music or soft?
Depends on my mood. Loud music when I'm happy, spirited or need to be spirited. Soft music when I'm calm and need inspiration.

#20: Where do you go when you're sad?
My bed. My bed and I are in a serious relationship.

#21: How long does it take you to shower?
10-15 minutes.

#22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Around 30 minutes.

#23: Ever been in a physical fight?
A lot of times. I'm the only daughter among 5 siblings, I can't really avoid physical fights. But I never have any terrible one.

#24: Turn on?
Kindness, politeness and generosity.

#25: Turn off?
Rude and two faced people.

#26: The reason I joined Blogger?
I have a lot of thoughts but I'm not a really good speaker. I also need a listener back then because my best friends and I parted ways, I have no sister, my Ma is always busy and I thought my brother wouldn't understand me. Now that I have friends to talk to and my brothers turn out to be very understanding (they are my best friends now), maybe that's why I'm having frequent writing block-because now I already have a listener.

But I still can't express everything by speaking, that's why I keep blogging.

#27: Fears?
Losing the people I care about and love, lizards & cockroaches.

#28: Last thing that made you cry?
When I re-watched Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2, I don't remember when. I kept saying "Remus gonna die, Tonks too and Fred!!!!!". I cried from the beginning, even when nothing happened, because I knew something gonna happen. I knew who were going to die, what gonna happen, it's just so sad😭 I'm so glad Rowling didn't kill Ron.

#29: Last time you said you loved someone?
When I talked with Ayman (my youngest brother) this morning.

#31: Last book you read?
Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult. It was kinda slow but I love the plot twist, I didn't expect that! I gave it 4/5 stars in Goodreads because I'm a sucker for unexpected plot twists.

#32: The book you're currently reading?
I'm reading Let It Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green and Lauren Myracle! Since Christmas is around the corner and I love Christmas stories, so I guess why not? So far, the stories are good. They are so funny and I think my favorite among the three stories are Jubilee Express by Maureen Johnson. I love Stuart!💞

#33: Last show you watched?
Mix & match! One of my close friends are a big fan of iKON and I was infected by the fanatic-ness.

#34: Last person you talked to?
My brother, I asked him to close the bathroom door before he goes to sleep because it's scary.

#35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
Iwana-my best friend. She sent me a picture of a book titled "anak patung NANA".

#37: Place you want to visit?
I want to go to Europe! I really admire the beautiful architecture and I want to go there so badly. A lot of books I read take place somewhere in Europe.

#38: Last place you were?
Home. Mereput di rumah sepanjang cuti huhu.

#39: Do you have a crush?
Currently moving on from a crush. But I do have celebrity crushes. Josh Hutcherson, Chris Pine, Charlie Puth...

#40: Last time you kissed someone?
This morning, I kissed Ayman. He was being super adorable!

#41: Last time you were insulted?
I have 4 brothers, I can't avoid from being insulted because they are boys and that's their nature (except really good boys lah), they insult me pretty much everyday. Just playful insults, though.

#42: Favorite flavor of sweet?
Red guava!

#43: What instruments do you play?
I'm currently learning to play guitar! 😊🎸

#44: Favorite piece of jewelry?
My necklace.

#45: Last sport you played?
I don't do sport at all😂 I'm not good in it lol. Oh, except if the lontar peluru I was forced to join during the sports day counts.

#46: Last song you sang?
BigBang - If You. That song stuck on my mind everytime it played on Spotify.

#47: Favorite pick up line?"Are you a camera? Because everytime I look at you, I smile."#48: Have you ever used it?
No haha.

#49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
An hour ago, I was watching a horror movie with my brother.

#50: Who should answer these questions next?
Anyone who haven't done this tag yet and interested to do it.

Wow, I took almost 2 hours to finish this. 50 questions answered without failure! You may do this tag if you want to, it was fun doing this.

Be ready for anything. Now, you might feel like you're on top of the world; with the nice, understanding, cool friends and the feeling of freedom. But you never know how or when these great things that happen to you right now will be gone. Just because this happiness feels like it can last the eternity, doesn't mean it wouldn't end. Everything that occurs in your life will somehow end. Some things do end up in a good way, but some don't. Some words might left unsaid forever and you'll never know the reasons why they end up that way.

Love yourself. You did a lot of mistakes and you'll do some more. Just because of that, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be loved by people and yourself. People make mistakes all the time, the only difference between one person with another one is whether they learn from it or not. Be the one who learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them. You often say that we should try to forgive the people who did wrong to us because nobody's perfect and everybody makes mistakes. Why don't you use that on yourself? You should realize that you're just a human, you're far from perfect, and you make mistakes, so you should try to forgive yourself.

It's okay to be sad, feel down and cry out loud for a while. But never let it gets any longer. Never let it gets too far where it reaches the point where you're giving up on yourself. When it gets that far, it's far from okay. Ma might be too busy to listen sometimes, but she'll listen nonetheless. Maybe she wouldn't understand you the way you're hoping she would but try to understand that no one really understands yourself the way you do. So when it reaches the point where you feel like giving up, go to Ma and say right to her face that you need her to listen. Then, let out the things that are burdening you so much and just cry in front of her.

After all, you're the only daughter and she's the only one you get if your girl friends aren't there for you.

It'll going to be okay, sooner or later. So until this phase ends, strengthen your heart and mind 🙆

I'm always inspired by music, so what can I do when my heart forces me to write another top playlist? I guess this'll be a monthly routine because apparently I love suggesting music so much--even if no one asks for it lol. The genre, year published and the singers that stated are various because I am so random.

#1: Million Reasons - Lady Gaga

"I bow down to pray, I try to make the worse seem better. Lord show me the way to cut through all his worn out leather. I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay."

I was never a fan of Lady Gaga's music before because most of them are sometimes too upbeat, not understandable or little too less/much to my liking. But her new album is different and some of the songs in it are so good, send deep messages and that's perfect to me. However, the song that keep playing on repeat in my phone and somehow played a lot of times in my mind (if that is possible) is this song. Check the album out in Youtube or Spotify!

#2: Wait - M83

"Send your dreams where nobody hides. Give your tears to the tide. No time. There's no end, there is no goodbye, disappear with the night."
This song doesn't have much lyrics in it. However, the music is so soothing and calm me and bring some nostalgic memories of 2014/15 since this song is one of TFIOS's soundtracks. Actually I've been searching for this song for so long but I couldn't. And then one day, I was listening to random playlist in Spotify and suddenly this song played. Since then, I can't really stop listening to it everytime I can.

#3: Does It Feel - Charlie Puth

Aww he was so cute 💕

"Tell me lies, like how you're better off without me. While the truth is written all your face. Even in photographs together you look lonely."
This song's lyrics give me kinda Maroon 5's Don't Wanna Know, and We Don't Talk Anymore-ish vibe. It seems like all of the songs today are delivering messages to some people's exes. But whatever, I still love it. I've been waiting for this song to come out technically since I watched Charlie's live singing this song when it hadn't been published yet. So when the studio version come out, I was thrilled. Which leads to me putting this song in my main playlist and playing on repeat. Just like We Don't Talk Anymore, this song will keep playing in your mind.

#4: O Children - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

I literally cry out loud everytime I reach this scene 😭

"Hey, little train! We are all jumping on the train that goes to the Kingdom. We're happy, Ma, we're having fun and the train ain't even left the station. Hey little train! Wait for me! I was held in chains but now I'm free. I'm hanging in there, don't you see? In this process of elimination."

Don't get me started with saying how much my obsession towards Harry Potter had grow since these last few weeks. Even before the last few weeks, I was already obsessed with Harry Potter. And now my love towards the series is growing by day. This song makes me sad and rethink everything about the ending of the series. It makes me think about Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Cedric, Fred, Snape and I'll feel so sad because they died. They are the important part in the series and they died. So sad. But they died with honor, that is the only thing that I'm okay with about the death.

And of course, the only reason I've been listening to this song is because it happens to be one of the soundtracks in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

#5: Creep - Radiohead.

"I want a perfect soul, I want you to notice when I'm not around. You're so f*cking special, I wish I was special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here."p/s: the lyrics literally describe my non-existent love life😪😂
I wasn't really a fan of this song before, I only listen to this song when I feel like it. If it's in my playlist, it's the song that I'll always skip but never delete. However, when I listened to Colleen's cover of it, I literally fell in love with it. I usually avoid this kind of song because it's so dramatic and makes me imagine a high school drama where there is someone that likes a person that never notices him/her because that person is so great, the opposite of him/her. Tsk tsk. The drama sounds so familiar to me.

My random rant about the music that I love ends here this time. Do leave comments about your current favorite songs! I would love to listen to your suggestion. And feel free to follow me in Bloglovin'! :)

Just now I was watching Shane Dawson's videos, and since he's one of my favorite youtubers, so I think why not I just share my top fav youtubers to you guys? But hey, I did that post once upon a time, so should I make the second top 5 fav youtubers? Yes, and since the first post only consists 5 female youtubers, so this time I'll do the top 5 fav male youtubers😁

#1: Shane Dawson

I love Shane! The first time I saw his video was when I watched his collaboration with Colleen, which is also one of my fav people in the whole world. Why do I love his videos? He's funny, original, somehow inspiring, and I just love the way he reacts to everything in his videos. Oh and we share something in common, which is, our love for foods! He loves foods as much as I do, I don't have any reason to resist the temptation of watching his videos while eating hew hew.

I love all of his videos, but my personal favorites are conspiracy theories videos and foods reaction (of course). Check his videos out here!

#2: Joey Graceffa

Truth be told, I also know him from one of Miranda's videos. He's one of Miranda's baes besides Tyler Oakley, Ricky Dillon and some others lol. One day, when I was still a new Mirfanda, I intentionally watched her video collaboration with Joey, her bae whose last name she couldn't pronounce. In the video, I found Joey very funny, so I watched his videos in his channel. Turned out, he is a great, positive, kind and soft-hearted person and I really admire his personality. Hence, I subscribed to him and my life had never been the same since.

He usually posts random videos so I just watch everything. My personal favorite is of course, his collab with Miranda, but hey that's out of the options. So I choose my second personal favorite, which is him trying out new things and challenges! They are so so so fun to watch. You should go see his channel!

#3: Jack Baran

Finally, a person who isn't related to Miranda! He first showed up on my youtube suggestion when I was searching for music that I never heard before. And he made videos of music I've never heard before and since my love for music isn't so light, so I love everyone who suggests me a good music! Let's be honest, I don't love every songs in his playlist but majority of them are really great! Most of them are towards indie-ish music and before I listened to the songs in his videos, I'm not quite a fan of indie music. But now, indie songs are occupying my Spotify playlist hew hew.

He also posts random stuff such as challenges, some storytimes, and more. But my personal favorites are of course, his playlist&fav songs we never heard before videos. Maybe you'll love him too, go check his channel out!

#4: Ricky Dillon

Ricky!!!!! Another Miranda's bae lol. I don't think I need to tell you the first time I saw his videos hew hew. Actually, the first time I watched his video, it was his own video, not a video collab with Miranda. I love how straight-forward he is. Okay, Shane is straight-forward too, but Ricky's straight-forwardness is what I love the most about him and makes me never want to miss any of his videos. Other than that, he's also a fun person to watch.

I don't have personal favorites for his videos. He posts random type of videos in his channel and I can't choose which one is my fav 😕 So you should check his videos out in his channel!

#5: Connor Franta

Once upon a time, I was binge watching a lot of youtube videos and he was in the suggestion. And I unintentionally clicked on his video when I actually wanted to click another video. But I guess that was a fate I need to really be thankful of because if it wasn't for the unintentional click, I'll never found his channel. He is a great person, just like my other fav youtubers but he is so real. The others are real too but from him I started to open my eyes and mind wider and see that everyone is also a human just like me.

I love all of his videos but I love the videos where he talks about life/world/random things the most. Watching his videos might be a life-changing decision for you too, go watch his videos if you are interested! 😃

This post makes me want to go to youtube right now to binge watch all the videos I missed these past weeks. But I just realized that my eyes are begging me to sleep and rest hew hew so maybe next time. Btw, who are your favorite male youtubers? Leave some comments in comment section down below! 😃

The 'bah' I'm going to talk about is not the big ship 'bah'. It's the famous Sabahan's 'bah'. A lot of non Sabahans are mis-using it (lol). You don't use 'bah' in every sentence, but yes it is used in a lot type of sentences for a certain reason. See, we don't just put 'bah' in everything.

A lot of people that think 'bah' is put in the end of every sentences, but it's actually not. You can't put 'bah' in the end of questions or ayat penyata all of sudden.

And, don't use 'bah' in the end question sentences unnecessarily. Contohnya, "apa khabar bah?", "siapa nama kau bah?". The misuses of 'bah' really sounds weird. Just imagine you use 'okay' in every sentences.

"Apa khabar ok?"

"Siapa nama kau ok?"

"Kau nak makan nasi lemak tak ok?"

Weird, right? That's how it feels when people use 'bah' in wrong sentences (kinda). But it's okay if you used it in a wrong way, at least you tried.

I was home since Wednesday. And heck the majority of time after I went back were spent on my bed either reading, eating, surfing the internet, watching videos, listening to music, or sleeping. So... productive. Please note the sarcasm. And the worst part is.. I haven't unpack my luggage yet. How pemalas anak dara sorang ni.

Excuse me but I'm still suffering from the after-vacation effect, is that wrong? I've been suffering fever and severe stomach ache for almost four days now, how impressive. I thought about posting about the trip to Langkawi and then my stomach starts doing this weird sound and mencucuk-cucuk motion.

I am scrolling down through my camera roll and looking at the pictures while we were there and playing 5SOS albums on repeat (because I only listened to their songs before, during and after the trip so the songs remind me to Langkawi). I'm obviously not over the vacation yet. But I also love home because it's home and I'm home and I can mereput on my bed watching Miranda's videos laughing like I'm insane.

People, after-vacation effect is the worst (if you feel the full experience of the effect). I ate too much spicy foods when I was there and my stomach ache is still exist after almost 4 days I left Langkawi.

It has been a long, long time since I posted a playlist to this blog. Since I love music, and music is one of big parts in my life growing up, so I figured that it is good to share what I'm listening with you guys.

#1: DNCE - Jinx"Yea I want to tell everyone that you are, you are my only one. Screaming at the top of my lungs, but I'm whispering, I'm whispering, I'm whispering 'cause I don't wanna jinx it."
That moment when Joe Jonas is your bae and he's singing a real good song. I actually love all the songs in DNCE's album but this one is my fav. Second favorite is Toothbrush and Cake By The Ocean because the beats and the tunes are so catchy and freaking-good-to-sassy-dance-to.

#2: Taylor Swift - Dear John"Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame. Or maybe it's you and your sick need, to give love and take it away."
Taylor Swift's songs are practically my childhood. As much as I don't want to admit it, long long time ago, when I was in primary school, I downloaded bunches of Taylor's songs and I'm pretty sure I still memorize the lyrics until now because the songs were overplayed in my phone hew hew. But this song is gold. It is the only song from her Speak Now album that I still have in my phone and replayed over and over again. I love her new style, new songs but I love the country-good-old-days more. The songs back when she was still doing country will have the effect on me.

#3: Bridgit Mendler - Atlantis (feat. Kaiydo)"Yeah I know how to feel, I know that love exists. It's asleep with the fishes down in Atlantis. Oh my lord, where's my soul? How did we end up like this?"
I love Bridgit ever since Lemonade Mouth. Oh way before that actually. I love her since Alvin & The Chipmunks. And I love her Hello My Name Is... album. So when she made a comeback couple of weeks ago, I was thrilled. I love the music video straight away but not so fond of the new music. It's not really my genre. But then I was obsessed with the music video so I go rewatch it over and over and over again and the song started to grow in me. The meaning is so deep and you have to listen what she is trying to say to fully understand the lyrics.

#4: ZAYN - fOoL fOr YoU*I still can't understand why did Zayn titled all of his song LiKe tHis*"This love is tainted, I need you and I hate it. You're caught between a dream and a movie scene in a way, you know what I mean."
If there's any time that I'm glad Zayn left One Direction, it is when he makes a real good music. Not stuffs like Pillowtalk, but stuff like this. I actually cried when I heard that he left because I was in the fandom before that. Even when I left the fandom, I could still feel the empty 'seat' he left. The emptiness lingered for quite a while. Apa lagi when they got a break. I am happy for them, really, because they barely get a rest. But I'm just afraid that they would not make a comeback. But really, they should take a break and do what they want to do. If they want to split then they can do that because by now, they have enough experience to know what will happen and they will make some good stuffs.

Eheh I got too far from the Zayn topic hew hew hew.

#5: Coldplay - Up&Up"How come people suffer? How come people part? How come people struggle? How come people break your heart?"
Coldplay was one of my jams during the sarkest of my life, so they have some effects on me. They make me shiver and chill and in bliss. They make me remember and forget in the same time.

#5: JoJo - Mad Love Album.

JoJo was also my childhood jams. I remembered singing I Hate Love when I was writing my diary (woah what an emo kid). When her Tringle album was out I was thrilled. And it was only three songs. Now, there are more than a song and it's JoJo and I love her voice and I love her and I'm so excited hahaha. Go. Check. Them. Out. In. Youtube. Or. Spotify. They are great, I promise! My personal favs are F*ck Apologies, I Can Only, Mad Love, High Heels, Like This, I Am and I love freaking absolutely everything.

That's all from me today. I'm supposed to study Chemistry because tomorrow is Chemistry final and I love science stream (more like I don't want to be kicked out from science stream and need to study accounting). But now I'm so sleepy so I'm going to sleep for a while and get up earlier and study and *pypaa is rambling*.

I remember when I was a primary school student, my friends and I would talk about the beautiful people gang, the popular clique, and we wanted to be just like them. That was our highest ambition (other than being a group of awesome wedding planners lol). We read Ain Maisarah's Buletin Sri Bangsar and our aim was to be The Wannababes (we didn't even know what that means, it sounded so cool).

Then, we decided to listen to the latest music, change our Facebook's name to a cool name (my name was Fifae Ilae lol and it sticked to me like glue until now, even after I changed it to my real name), post cool Facebook statuses which was quotes back then, customize our profile to look awesome and etc. We tried so hard lol.

Somehow that still influenced me until today. The amount of my Instagram followers, my Twitter followers, the amount of hearts that I got for an Instagram post, and even my Blogger followers, they are like this grenade for me that could blow me up in any seconds. And that's so freaking scary and no matter how I run, I found myself feeling so unworthy and foolish and invisible because of these things. It's not okay.

Then, I think about this. Why do I feel sad?

And it hits me, when I realized that I define myself by these things. And the most stupid thing is, why do I define myself by these things? Am I just that to me? I thought myself worth more than that to me. Am I my Instagram followers? Am I my Twitter followers? Am I just the amount of likes and hearts and comments that I got in some normal simple tweet/instagram post? Am I just that?

The answer is no. It's never a yes.

Just because people don't see what you see, it doesn't mean that you're not worth it. Just because you're not as popular as someone you know, doesn't mean you're nothing. Just because being popular isn't your kind of life, doesn't mean that you have no other reasons to live. You have more reasons to live, and feeling sad and disappointed by these stupid things isn't worth it. You're worth it. You don't need to have people to say it. You're worth it, you're as beautiful as everyone is and you're a universe of something.

You're a universe full of galaxies and planets and stars and just because you don't see it, and just because people don't tell this to your face, it doesn't mean that it's not there. You're a whole lot more than what people define you.

The only person that could define you, is yourself. Hell no sometimes even you can't define yourself. Only God can judge us, really.

So smile, because that means, you know how much yourself worth to you. Only then will people see what you worth.

People hurt in so many ways.
Every person carries some weight on their shoulder,
Whether it's seeable or invisible.

People hurt in so many ways.
Everyone knows what pain is.
The difference is what kind of pain it is.
Ones whose feet is bleeding from walking on sea of thorns,
Wouldn't know the pain of suffocating in the darkness of the sea.

People hurt in so many ways.
And everyone wants to feel the taste of happiness.
A little bit of serenity.
But how are we going to live happily,
When everyone hurts each other just to achieve those selfish goals?

People hurt in so many ways,
Yet so egoistical to stop being selfish.
It is a scary world we're living in.

Guys exam is coming, what the heck am I doing in here?! Eh give me a break lah. I'm too tired. I might not be at school tomorrow for sports carnival because I hate participating in sports and I just love staying at home. I'd rather stay at home studying than be under the 100 degrees (exaggerating) sun, making myself looks like a fool when I try to play the games I'm totally not good at. Call me kaki bangku or whatsoever but sports and me had been enemies for the longest time ever.

Okay, enough with today's mukaddimah. The title itself is very self-explanatory. If you ask me one of the things I learned from my almost 16 years life, I would say that the worst way of teaching people something by talking behind their back. It is the worst kind of 'teaching'. In fact, it doesn't help at all. Maybe, they'll stop doing the things that you taught them not to do, but some people's self-esteem would probably drop to the lowest point (like me).

Maybe I'm scared of straight-to-my-face big talks, but I'd rather do that than having people talking behind my back about my weaknesses in order to 'teach' me. When I was in primary school, I faced that kind of situation. Instead of telling me nicely about what I did wrong, these people that I trusted so much talked to a lot of people about my weaknesses so that they could 'teach' me. Actually not only during my primary school days that I faced this, I still face this until today.

That kind of situations during my primary school days really killed my self-esteem. Knowing that some of my very trusted people doing that to me, and what people talk about me behind me, it was just so shameful. The implications? I don't trust people anymore. My self-esteem is still very low. I have this very hateful gut towards people that I'm not close with. It still aches until today.

People tend to think that talking about some people's mistakes behind their back would teach those people not to do the same mistakes anymore. Yes. But not in a good way. It's more towards to self-destruction. Not just they stop doing the same mistakes, they might stop doing a lot of other things-including the things that they've always loved to do.

So, people. Whoever you are, no matter how old you are, just because you're greater in some ways (age, personality, beauty, etc.), it totally doesn't give you a right to talk behind other people's back no matter for what purposes. Even if you call it 'teaching', it's actually called backbiting. No matter what the reason is, it's still bring a lot of negative impacts for that people and you yourself, because what you do mirrors yourself.

If some people did a mistake, be the person who tells them nicely about their mistake. Tegur secara baik.

Backbiting is never good, I repeat. Even the Quran and Rasulullah talked about it.

"And do not BACKBITE. Would any of you like to eat his brother's flesh? No, you would hate it." [Surah Al-Hujurat, 12)

Please have a thought about what I just wrote. If I said something wrong in this post, please comment down below, I'll really appreciate it.

Assalamualaikum and hello. Now I'm listening to Vance Joy's 'Mess Is Mine'. Today I'm just going to vlavs vlavs blabs so bear with it or you can just go because it's going to be a boring post (maybe).

I've been facing this headache since this morning. Not really headache, more like got your head eaten by a shark. My eyes feel like they're going to pop out. The scary disgusting thing is that I really want my head or at least my eyes to just blow up.

I really want to sleep and just release my stress and just let this headache go AWAY AWAY AWAY from me. BUT I HELLA CAN'T BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP THINKING!!!!!!!

Seriously there are a lot of things to do! I need to wash my black skirt and my tudung krim and then I need to finish my Physics homework, NILAM records, English essays and more and more and more Y_Y I need to revise for exams, there are a lot of topics to revise.

I'm now lying on my bed, planning to sleep for a while and set an alarm and just wake up in the middle night to finish my works. But since this unfortunate-ness had been following me since the beginning of this day, I unfortunately can't sleep because I'm thinking.

My head is surely a hell of a head.

Now playing: Hozier - Cherry Wine

Dear bloggie, thanks for listening. Just now, I shouted to my brother to not ask me anything about Maths tonight because my head is blowing up.

I did this post a long time ago and I decided to update it because I want to. Currently, my heart is hurting. I'm in the lets-watch-a-comedy-romantic-chick-flick-while-eating-a-bunch-of-ice-cream phase. I really want to write about how much it hurts right now. I want to talk about why it hurts, who is the factor of this pain, bloody bloody blah blah. However, since I would delete the post anyway if I write it, I try to change my mindset to write about what I love instead. And the perfect idea came into my mind.

Current emotion.

If I can't watch my favorite romantic movie or read my favorite romance book ever right now, I can at least write about it to see whether it will distract me from my pain right now.SummaryRosie and Alex are destined for one another, and everyone seems to know it but them. Best friends since childhood, their relationship gets closer by the day, until Alex gets the news that his family is leaving Dublin and moving to Boston. At 17, Rosie and Alex have just started to see each other in a more romantic light. Devastated, the two make plans for Rosie to apply to colleges in the U.S.

She gets into Boston University, Alex gets into Harvard, and everything is falling into place, when on the eve of her departure, Rosie gets news that will change their lives forever: She's pregnant by a boy she'd gone out with while on the rebound from Alex.

Her dreams for college, Alex, and a glamorous career dashed, Rosie stays in Dublin to become a single mother, while Alex pursues a medical career and a new love in Boston. But destiny is a funny thing, and in this novel, structured as a series of clever e-mails, letters, notes, and a trail of missed opportunities, Alex and Rosie find out that fate isn't done with them yet. (source: goodreads)My opinion
I haven't reread the book yet, but I'm planning to. I only read this book once, but I love it love it love it, especially now. My non-existent love story doesn't have the 'happily ever after' ending, but I love it when I see a story that has one. Although this book isn't the only book that has a happy ending, this has been my favorite for so long. I might haven't reread this book over and over again, but I watched the movies for numerous time already, I might memorize all the lines in the movie.

Why this book is my favorite? I don't have the perfect answer for this. But here's the answer: Have you ever watch/read a story where the main girl character is always almost get together with the perfect boy (the one) but it takes too long for them to get together? It's very frustrating. Really really frustrating. Frustrating is one of the characteristics of the story. But I love the frustrating feeling. Rosie and Alex have loved each other since forever and it took them so long to get together. They got through a lot, marriages here and there, divorces, a lot of fights and tons more but in the end, they got the perfect ending.

I don't have a love life. I'm fine with that but it still hurts to know that everytime I have a tiny little bit feeling towards someone, it will never be reciprocated. I feel unwanted and unlovable. And it feels good to read/watch the story because it shows you that if that person is meant for you, sooner or later, they will find their way to you. Even if it takes years. That always makes me feel better. You never know what the future holds, you know.

Guidelines or whatever
I suggest you watch the movie first. The book is better but seriously, the movie is as good as the book. If you read the book first, you'll know what to expect in the movie, although the movie doesn't resemble the book fully. And it might not see interesting to watch the movie anymore. If you watch the movie first, if you love it, you will love the book as much as the book or more. It depends on your preference, really. This is based solely on experience and my opinion.

If you want to read a simple book with a lot of twists, I strongly recommend this book.

Assalamualaikum and hello :DActually I planned to do this post for a long, long time. Tapi just belum berkesempatan. And today, I made it! It is soooo hard to choose my top 5 because I have a lot of favorite youtubers. Youtube is probably one of my favorite websites in the world.#1: Miranda Sings/Colleen Ballinger Evans

This is two different channels, two different characters but only one person. I found Miranda Sings years ago and I wasn't interested in her sebab her profile picture was annoying - with the red lipstick smeared all over her lips and the annoying smile. And then, this year, entah angin apa yang menyerang, I decided to watch her videos. It was weird. Hahaha. Really weird. But I loved it! Because I know her videos were just some annoying jokes (which I like-I'm weird). Which leads me to Colleen Ballinger Evans (PsychoSoprano).I searched Miranda Sings on google one day, and what I found was Colleen Evans, with a face that is so familiar. Peliklah rasa, sebab bila kau search orang lain, orang lain pula yang keluar. And then I ber-oh, ber-ah time baca wikipedia hehe. Rupa-rupanya Miranda Sings is just a character!
In her PsychoSoprano channel, she posts challenges, reactions, a little bit of diys and she sings too! And her voice is very nice. FYI, she's one of Ariana Grande's friends.

My favorite Colleen's videos : Her storytime! And colleen's corner where she answers questions every Tuesday and Friday. And her 'emo diary' hehe. Andddd her wedding video.
P/s: If you get irritated by annoying people easily, please don't watch Miranda's videos.#2 LaurDIY

Why I love her? Easy. I love DIYs. So when you love DIY and youtube in the same time, kemungkinan untuk anda bertemu dengan LaurDIY adalah sangat tinggi *cewah ayat gramatis. She posts a lot of DIYs videos -- room decor, gifts, clothes, and my fav is the school supplies. She posts vlogs, tips and some other things too!

I can't choose my fav video of her sebab it's too many. But mostly, I love her DIY videos.

#3 Aspyn Ovard

She's 20, the 320th most popular person in youtube, and she's married (with her high school crush). Secara ringkasnya, she's pretty successful for a person her age. Very very inspiring. She creates beauty tutorials, DIY videos (I told you, I really love DIY), Outfits of The Weeks, and some random things too! She creates vlogs in her Aspyn + Parker channel.

Dari dulu, memang I was a fan of Hani&Zue and Kak Meen. They're so inspiring! So when they create a channel together, I was so excited to see what they're going to post hehe. They post random stuffs, from covers, short film, and my fav - the bebel show. If you're interested, here is their channel :)So, that's all for today :) Feel free to check out their channels and tell me what you think about them! Assalamualaikum and bye. xoLove,
Pyps.

Assalamualaikum and hello guys.These days, I find myself getting bored easily by the new released music. Even if the song is to my liking, I would probably get bored by the music after 2-3 weeks. And sometimes after days. These songs that included in here are not just for this week, but also for the past months. I don't think I would ever be bored by these songs.#1: The Script's songs.

Danny Y_Y

I don't know about you but The Script's songs are my fav. And they are my fav band. Most of their songs are so sad and I don't usually love sad songs but theirs. There are some songs that I find 'sedih+hopeless' and weirdly, funny such as 'the man who can't be moved', 'breakeven' sebab he really is the man who can't be moved. Their songs chill me walaupun I'm supposed to cry when I listened to them (sometimes I do).

Recommended songs:

-The Man Who Can't Be Moved
-Superheroes-No Good In Goodbye-Man On A Wire-Breakeven
Senang cerita, just subscribe to their channel :)#2 James Taylor - Fire And Rain

This song was released in 1970 (my Ma's birth year). The first time I found this song was somewhere when I researched about Taylor Swift months ago. Taylor Swift loves this song and used to sing to it when she was a child, that's all I can remember. And her mom named her after James Taylor. It was in an interview, so I was curious about this song that Taylor loves so I searched it in Youtube. And I loved it!I've always love acoustics and old songs, maybe that's why. The old songs' lyrics are always more meaningful and tell a lot of stories. #3 Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again, Naturally

This song brings me back to my childhood (zaman tadika+primary school) everytime I listen to it. Sebab during my childhood, this song is often played in the car, and the only line I remember was "alone again, naturally." After years I didn't hear this song played, I began to forget it.Until I watched Love, Rosie.
This song was one of the soundtracks in the movie and when it was played, it brings back memories.This was released in 1972.I guess that's all for today :) I'm going to pack my things sebab esok mau balik kampung yay!Assalamualaikum and bye :) xoLove,
Pyps. xoxo

Assalamualaikum and hello :)Siapa sini yang have a tendency to stay up late? No matter lah what kind of reason pun, to watch your favorite series or movie, to read book, to study, to do the last minute revision, siapkan kerja rumah.. What ever. Sebab I'm one of those people. Apa lagi time cuti. That's why I have panda eyes and lately it's getting more worse. Not only just that, after the stay-up-late, in the morning I often feel too tired and too sleepy. I know that this isn't a healthy sleeping pattern but I really can't help it. Like last night. I was doing homeworks, Chemistry and History. And guess what time I got to sleep? 2.42 p.m.! Itu pun bukan lelap mata terus tidur. I have a sleeping problem. It took me a long time to fall asleep when I'm already in bed. And last night, or I should say last mor-night, the only kind of sleep that I got was tidur-tidur ayam. Really not satisfying considering the next morning I need to go to school. So, because I know that sleeping in the class isn't so good for my exam marks soon, (read: exam result, exam) I should really find a way to stay awake in class. And I actually found some tips and want to share them with you guys, in case we're in the same team. #1: Have a short nap beforehand /afterwards.

This is what I always do, but it doesn't always works for me since I'm not a fast sleeper. But it might work for you! Your brain needs a rest, your body needs a break. Take a 10-20 minutes nap before you start your stay-up-late session. I would recommend you to set an alarm to wake you up. Kalau you are that kind of people yang kalau alarm full volume pun tidak dengar kalau tidur, it's better if you have someone to wake you up. Tell them to just wet your face or do anything until you wake up (this is what I always tell my brothers. and also what my brothers tell me to do.)If you're a very heavy sleeper, don't sleep beforehand. You might end up not finishing the work you're supposed to do during the stay-up-late session. So, whatever you're doing, try to finish it fast so that you can have a short nap afterwards. #2: DON'T have a heavy breakfast.

Too much food would make you sleepy. Do you agree or disagree? For me, I do feel sleepy after eating a huge amount of food. When you just eat some heavy meal, it will cause a response sent to the brain that tells to slow down and focus on digesting rather than go out and seek more food (which means you'll get sleepy.) Okay I don't know if you understand this but yes, heavy breakfast would cause you to be sleepier than you are. So, don't have a heavy breakfast.

#3 Caffeine.

Caffeine isn't good for your health. When you're addicted to coffee, you're more likely to have a bad migraine if you don't drink it for even a day. Therefore, I really do not recommend this walaupun I always do this. However, if you only stay up late occasionally, then it's okay to drink coffee in the morning. It's okay if it's sekali-sekala, but not okay when you drink it everyday (my theory, correct me if I'm wrong.)#4 Work in bright places

Bukanlah sini. But any bright places.

I don't know about you, tapi if I'm in a dark place, and I'm tired, it means 'time to sleep'. So I will totally be so sleepy and sleepier. Therefore, avoid working or doing anything in dark places and search for places that are bright. It is said that light has a powerful effect on your internal clock, and bright light can temporarily fake the body into thinking it's not yet time for bed.

welcome to my blog!

Nabila || Hello and welcome to my little crib. I share about things that interest me; books, music, lifestyle, etc. I'm currently on a hiatus to focus on my SPM. For any inquiries, email me at: fifaeiela@gmail.com