you write your words and they make me cry
you write those word and you know i die
but i've died so often now
i held you in my arms while you smelled my hair
i saw that pretty little smile you saved for me
we always ran
too wild to walk
it takes two to tango
only one to pirouette
when you did your round about
turned over every single leaf
left me out alone
in the dead of spring
or
was it winter,
it must of been
'cause i know i almost froze
you kissed me
back when we first met
we kissed a lot
way back then
how you loved my lips
the touch of my skin
your thick black mane
how you'd whip it back
exposing yourself all bare
we never turned off the lights
or ever said hush
do you still own those dice
the ones in gold
with embedded gems in black
you use to love to roll them
rolled those snake eyes that bit
i'd swallow the poison like lemonade
stripped naked,
handcuffed and whipped
your ceramic nails
tearing at me
my flesh on them
the blood on my back
i didn't know
wore my white shirt
'till someone screamed
from behind it was red
i dripped on the floor
like a lit candle
melted like a witch
drenched in Dorothy's water
you clicked your ruby heels
and you were gone
i wasn't in Kansas anymore
walked around with a briefcase
in my Armani suit
i never shed a tear
bedded woman half my age
they lined up in droves
to be with this broken man
i would yell like a cowboy
riding a bucking bronco
and i never fell
i was the man
everybody told me so
i would smile shyly
thank them their praise
but i knew who i was
make no mistake
every rodeo has its clowns
I wasn't the matador
even though I spoke fluent bull
the only knifes i carried were in my back
do you remember my white shirt
the whole time i justified me to me
by not thinking
by not talking
by not listening
by not wishing
or even dreaming
we both knew there was a gun in my briefcase
we both knew I would never use it
didn't own any bullets
still i pulled the trigger
some joy in that
pointed to my head
click, nothing
and when I saw you yesterday
and I held my breath for longer then I ever had
i thought the room would never stop spinning
i remember we spoke
how i saw it in yours eyes
as plain as day
regret
you knew of my success
how fine i looked
in my silk woven garb
you said
drinks?
but i looked at my watch
asked for a raincheck
you'd have none of it
and i think your teeth fell out
when i walked anyways
I didn't understand your look
you knew i had a backbone
you know i never flinch
that's the story of life
take it when you got it
with some guys there are no be backs
my legs were like led as i walked away
and i could hear your tears
but i don't care much for phonies
you threw it all away
when you decided
to look the other way
it broke me inside
i'd never be the same
i never turned to look
yesterday
slept the same as always
four hours tops
nothings changed
i'd give my right arm
for one pass of your breath
against my lips
but my soul?
never!...i'll live with the pain.
and other man stare
and other man wish
quietly yearning to be me
you know i want to laugh
success is like a flashy book cover
the cover is what sells the book
nobody bothers to read it
but they know the jacket by heart
set up a turnstile in my house
watch the ladies come and go
never let them get close
never invite the nice ones
the good ones the real ones
never want to hurt anyone
never want them to hurt like me
to hurt like me
hurt like me
like me
me?
i'd give my right arm
for one pass of your breath
against my lips...
Maurice Yvonne
27~10~2014
Dadirector's Free Style Uncut

Yesterday,
I went home for lunch,
I never go home for lunch.
When I got to our apartment
I don't know why but I didn't reach for my key.
Francine was at work and I always leave last in the morning.
I was sure I had locked the door but I didn't reach for my key.
I reached for the door knob and turned.
The door was open.
I don't know how I knew.
The moment I entered I knew.
I froze.
I could feel it,
smell it,
hell I could taste it.
I started walking but my muscles wouldn't move,
my lungs were grasping for air
for some oxygen
some sweet, sweet oxygen
but I could barely breathe.
“Leave!” I told myself but I kept walking.
Not really walking,
it was like moving through mud,
like a slow motion scene in a movie.
But this wasn't a movie.
This was my life and I could feel it slipping away
from my grasp.
I heard noises!
Francine.
I had heard those noises a hundred times before,
they were the sounds of an Angel
but this was no heaven
this was my own private nightmare.
The moans traveled through the muck in the air
amplified like the hiss from a distorted speaker.
It mocked me over and over again.
Climbing a mountain might have been easier
but I finally reached the bedroom,
and there they were,
and there she was.
I knew,
I knew the moment I entered the apartment.
Why hadn't I just turned back?
I could barely see, my eyes were blurry,
covered in layers of my own tears.
I could see her
I knew I had never seen him before.
They were naked and in our bed.
Naked in OUR BED!
How do you that?
How do you cross the line to that extreme?
You'd think the green eyed monster
would control my actions from here on in.
I did see green!
I was insanely jealous but I didn't want to
end up the morning headline in the newspaper.
That monster jealousy was by my side but I took
charge.
I'd have to keep him at bay, at least for now.
You'd think I would be mad,
I wasn't.
You'd think I'd curse and call her whore.
I didn't!
Being cut open alive must be lest painful than this.
This hacked away at my spirit,
tore away at my self worth.
I felt like a pile of worthless shreds.
I spoke
I mean my lips moved and words came out...
I think.
I think I said,
I'm not sure it all happened so fast,
she never spoke.
I could see the shame on her face
she didn't need to speak,
but,
but I think I said 'Sorry...
I said Sorry and I left.
I wandered for what seemed hours,
it was minutes.
It wasn't like I was meandering to a different drummer;
there just wasn't any music anymore.
I was moving to the rhythm of the beating of my own heart.
Like a broken record it was skipping,
like a broken record it played
in a loop of repetitive monotony.
I suffered in my circled steps
until I couldn't stand it any more.
I found just enough strength
to return to the apartment.
I knew she was gone
I already felt the emptiness in my whole.
We'd never see each other again.
We had been so much.
She was a big part of my life.
She was the love of my life.
I would never love anyone like that again.
So much of her was me.
I thought she was my soul mate.
We let go of all of it.
There is a feeling of betrayal.
A feeling of disgust.
A jealousy that takes over.
I'd never look at her the same again.
Everything she ever did from that day on
would always make me suspicious.
Jealousy would rule me.
Jealousy should never rule anyone.
If you can't trust the people in your life,
friend or lover, you need to remove that
person from your life.
You have to remove that person out of your life.
Trust, is the only gift we can offer.
Friend, lover or stranger!
People can trust me.
My word is my bond.
I let her go,
I really didn't have a choice
I would never be the same again.
She was gone.
She had left a note.
It said Sorry!
Sorry!
We both were.
Maurice Yvonne
11~30~2014
Sponsor: Verlena S. Walker
Contest Name: The Green-Eyed Monster

They had fought.
He left without a word...
...while she was sleeping.
She threw on the gown she had worn for him the night before,
pushed off the china vase and blooms he had given her.
She watched them fall in...s l o w...m o t i o n,
listened to them crash to the floor...
...sat on the window sill,
where the bouquet and container had been.
She proclaimed to the world "c'est la vie!".
She was alone
but at least...
...she was the only flower.

~Not Like Me~
When you were first put into my arms,
I begged God, to make you nothing like me
For my sins, ask for no transformation
This is my song, my meditation
Look at my face
Where has it all gone,
You no longer desire to be a part my song
Look at my life,
The toll, hasn't been paid
I'm the one suffering everyday
The vengeance of eternal flames,
sit near the empty hearth
Burning my needs to hold you once more,
I need you more than you'll ever know
Now, Look at me, I'm 53 and have no where to go
Everyone I know, awaits in a place of gold
Unlike you, you're too busy growing old
------ Not Like Me!!!
Singing a song, that accentuate's the mind,
I have no one to blame, I neglected all the signs
Hoping the rain would slowly die off
Today here I lay, wondering where I went wrong
I implored God, to cause you nothing like me
I have a heart that forgives, and tries to forget
I kneel, and I give, and I treat others with respect
My compassion, I measured in the poorest way
I judged my life worse than the others did
Now why did I ask ---- Not Like Me!
For my sins, ask for no translation
This is my song, my speculation
The dreaded conclusion of this song,
All I can say, "Be careful what you ask for."
At the end, all I can say, I got what I asked for
Someone, who's Not Like Me.........................
:)

For some strange reason nervousness arise
watching you leave, even though you belong
to someone else. Those play kisses held
real emotions, tangible enough to taste mischief's
tongue, aggressively. Because he cheated, you
got even, never expecting the queen to develop
emotion for a pawn.
Desires confesses through actions,
soaring feeling free, fixated on a brighter sunrise.
They scour sentimental ailments bestowed by their
significant others, sipping time as a fine wine. Happy
arrived speaking the same language that sounds
like future's whisper, clearly.
There is magic in a setting eclipse... They will rise
with an intensified shine leaving behind a dark world.
If tomorrow seems long with forthcoming, weave decided
to live in the moment and alter time, true to each
other... finally, day has come.
Dew sets on pastures of passion, made of honey. Doves
sit beneath olive trees with white roses in beak for their
love to paint petals red...

He disappears again. Can't say that I'm surprised
I know he thinks when he comes home, that hell be chastised
But I won't say a word cause I'm all out breath
Sick from pacing round in circles like I'm high on meth
I know it's pointless to try to talk to you
So many promises, so little follow through
With words, there's no denying, you're the master
But what starts as hopefulness, ends in disaster
There's this place for you, I made inside of me
Cut a hole inside my heart where only you would be
Safe and protected, by my love so strong
I thought you'd never leave but baby, I was wrong
You walked away from me, you left so long ago
Now that part of me? It's dark and hollow
Tried to replace you but nothing fits the hole
Sometimes your body's here but it's missing the soul
And I've laid awake, so many nights that I lost count
You've taken so much, I lost track of the amount
All the times I needed you and you were absentee?
Why can't you go back to who you used to be?
But I can't change a man who never even was
The jokes on me. Clap clap, applause.
You fooled me once so shame on you
Fooled me 5000? Shame on me too.
And even as I write this rhyme
I know I'll never find the time
To tell you that I've had enough
To just get out, to pack your stuff
I know that when you do come back
You'll say you're sorry, you went off track
And then you'll string words one by one
Til I'm enchanted by the phrase you spun
I'll wear your lies like fine jewelry
And we'll both live blissful in foolery

Featuring:) Giorgio Veneto
She writes about Fall's beauty in the rain
The falling raindrops' dance ascribing thence
Bespoken verse that lightens her refrain
before the time they met - her steps commence.
She listens to the soft and rhythmic thrum,
her love turned to escape and cloudy string
Where nimbus mistletoe fell, tears to become
Their kiss of Autumn was symbolic ring.
The first light cotton mists with summer rays
While skyward cheerful laughs adorn the land,
their ceremonial dance diffuses grays,
affectionate embrace, where dreams expand.
Upon September's sky the raindrops gleam
With half of hidden Sun to laugh and beam.
Enjoy the FRAGRANCE OF RAIN
---------
FRAGRANCE OF RAIN
8/29/13
Sonnet
---------
~A Poet Destroyer Collaboration~

Without you
I'm a shell of a man
A lonely drifter
Who has no plan
Without you
Just bone and skin
Expressionless face
Replaced my grin
Without you
Without you
Nobody's home
The fire's gone out
Heart turned to stone
Without you
No up and down
What's right or wrong
I'm falling down
Without you
So I'm longing tonight
Wishing you were here
Down on my knees
Shaking.. full of fear
I'm calling out to God
Praying you might hear
Girl, I'd give anything
If you'd only come near
Without you
I'm a castle in the sand
The tide is coming in
I'm too weak to stand
Without you
I've lost my love song
Just meaningless days
All hope is gone
Without you
So I'm longing tonight
Wishing you were here
Down on my knees
Shaking.. full of fear
I'm calling out to God
Praying you might hear
Girl, I'd give anything
If you'd only come near
And just one chance is all I need
Unzipped heart, my soul's plead
Oh, I'm longing tonight
Wishing you were here
Down on my knees
Shaking.. full of fear
I'm calling out to God
Praying you might hear
Girl, I'd give anything
If you'd only come near
12-14-14

I wish I could tell you
what you've done wrong
But there'd be no point
You'd explain it all away
and say, "Fight, Babe
Fight another day.
Battle scars come and go
This you should know
It's part of the game
fight another day."
I wish I could tell you
What you didn't do
That was wrong too
The hurt, it's just the same
I know, it's love's silly game
I'm done playing
You were terribly wrong
I can't be strong
I got no fight left
For another day
So, hey!
Wish I could tell you...
But, then again
My silence will let you know
I see it all
What you hide inside
Wounded pride
You lied
I cried
But if I tell you
All you'd do is deny
So...let my silence speak
Thought you're strong,
but you're weak
Fight another day...
Fight another day...
Fighting days are through
Yes, through for me and you
I have no words...no words left
So...I'll let my silence speak!
Eileen Manassian

Sun stretched, far and wide, smoothes the beach, to find a place upon the sand
While it spreads a sheet, fastens lace, to all our summer skies
No day sees a wave so high, without thoughts of you or dreams renewed
Sun slept on the water's surface, rippled like heat, melting the glass
My head against your chest, could hear your heart, soften, after our swim
and I watched white seagulls fly, away to where the sky, blended to grey
Pages remain in old albums, but I see them so differently
It's clear, now as if photos, reveal sharper views, of what we didn't know
Almost seems a better thing to face the unknown unprepared
Evening beckons my head to rest, ..old loves are lost with the sunset
Summer was ours awhile, for just a day, like the seagull.....flies away
Tonight, all I hear are waves, to break the silence of the night
______________________________________________________________

Heart Worm
Like smouldering embers at a campsite,
able to set alight a forest fire.
Like the ceaseless splish-splash of surf at night,
each flow rekindling the flurries of ire
Like a dormant yet leeching parasite,
biting, sucking and never seems to tire.
So is the thought of you inside my head,
As a faded friendship crawls back from dead.
02.01.2015

While your hands caress my body, is it her face that you see?
Is your thunder of release now brought on by HER memory?
Am I just a luscious body that contains HER living soul?
Just an instrument of passion where your craving are made whole?
Life has played a dirty trick, though, for our story’s gone and changed
Sentiments which were so true then, all have now become deranged
I am left to grieve and wonder how she came to steal your heart
Was my love not good enough, then? Did she fill some hidden part?
Did a fantasy not flourish, was some longing left unknown?
Tell my heart what made you love her, why your heart for me is stone?
Here you lie in pleasure’s arms, yet every thought is there instead
Naked, grieved, I’m left to wonder what it feels like to be dead
Eileen Manassian

I understand the heart too well
Sometimes it frustrates so
It won't obey determined mind
Girl, it refuses to let you go
So keep pouring on water
Let it rain and let it pour
God I love your wet lips
Rain leaves me wanting more
So bring all the ice you can
Freeze me out with no replies
I beg you, please look away
Or tears you'll see from my eyes
If your new man is getting upset
With sweet songs for my pen
I promise I'll try to stop
But it's impossible to hold it in
Tell him I just write songs
That's what songwriters do
I know you won't tell him this
But you know that . .... ...
*Just a simple pop lyric (fiction as always unless otherwise stated)
Date: 11-11-14

War leaves scars. They are emotional. They are physical. They are spiritual.
My brother had proposed to my sister-in-law on Valentine's Day, and so it was on that fateful day, 12 years later that his and her lives would change forever.
My brother had invited his wife to the posh Phonecia Hotel in Beirut for a cosy romantic lunch date while their three kids were in school. They decided to sit at a table facing the window so they could see the beautiful view outside. They could see the azure sky touching the Mediterranean in the distance.
At first, they sat opposite each other, but feeling amorous, my brother asked Pam to sit next to him. She was facing the glass window.
During the meal, as they chatted, little did they know that a very important government official was passing on a street close by and that this event would mark them forever.
"On 14 February 2005, Rafic Hariri, the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, was killed, along with 21 others, when explosives equivalent of around 1,000 kilograms of TNT (2,200 pounds) were detonated as his motorcade drove near the St. George Hotel in Beirut."
This was only a short distance from where my brother and his wife were having their Valentine meal. The glass window imploded when the car bombs detonated, and my brother and his wife were thrown off their chairs. They were soaked in blood and for a while, found it hard to see or know what had happened. They were in a daze. The extensive bleeding was caused by the shards of glass they had been peppered with as the floor to ceiling glass imploded. They looked at each other and the ghastly sight was more than they could take.
In the mayhem that ensued, they were able to make their way outside the building with other injured people. Eventually, an ambulance rushed then to the nearby American University Hospital. It was nearby because my brother taught in the Business Department of the American University of Beirut, so they had decided to have a quick lunch in the nearby vicinity.
Extensive work was done on both their faces. My sister-in-aw had a tooth knocked out from the force of the impact as she was thrown to the ground. Her injuries were more obvious as she had been sitting facing the glass. Up to this day, my brother sometimes has pieces of glass make their way to the surface of the skin on his face, and he has to pull them out. That's how deeply they became embedded.
When later asked if they wanted cosmetic surgery done to cover up the zig zag scars on their faces, my spunky Canadian sister-in-law replied, "Why should we? This is part of our history, of what we have been through, and it gives us a great story to tell."
I wish I were as brave as she is. The three children had a hard time seeing their parents in this state. Pam had to stay in intensive care for a while and when the kids finally did get to see her, Dylan, the middle child, burst out crying and said, "Mama, I don't like what's happened to your face."
This is life in Lebanon. We have lived through the war. We have survived. We have scars that tell the stories. I have written a full article on this, and will post a few excerpts later.
We live in a spiritual battlefield. Christ came to rescue us, the wounded and the dying. He CHOSE to walk into the war zone. Jesus carries the scars in his hands and in his side of that rescue mission. He carries these marks for eternity, a sign of His great love and passion for us and for our salvation. He came to rescue the hostages of war....and "by His stripes, we are healed."
Isaiah 53: 5-
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed

Love is a Lie by Poets contrived,
Since Dawn of Speech, and birth of Cry
The Will to Live- to take or give-
Oh, please, God! Just tell me why!
Of all the things I do deplore:
It is my Pain I most adore
With Danger flirt while courting Hurt-
But I keep going back for more!
I am Old yet barely grown-
(The truest Truth I've ever known!)
I cannot help- shan't save myself-
For Hearts hath Minds of their own...
JustThatArchaicPoet
I entered this piece in the "Love and Loss" contest which was judged on 1-25-14. I posted this poem to The Soup on Nov. 20th of 2013. It's one of my favorite pieces so I was disappointed not to place. Hope you enjoy, Nette :)

I wish to make a case for justice
For I feel quite justified
Here at the court
of love's dominion
My grievances surely
Will be satisfied
Your crime is one that's so egregious
A crime of passion multiplied
The details of a sorted sort
May likely cause a strange division
Yet I choose to trust the jury
I beg them to be unified
I thought your ruse was so ingenious
A love noble and dignified
Yet here today in this report
I desire for once a fair decision
For in my heart there is a fury
That I believe is justified
Your beauty rendered me delirious
My once sharp mind was simplified
Then I became a meager sort
Captured by our sinful indiscretion
For you not once was there a worry
That our love could not be sanctified
These charges layed, were very serious
Yet today they were not satisfied
It seems justice, came up a little short
Leaving me to draw my own conclusion
You fooled the men upon the jury
Your sexy looks, fully maximized!
If only Justice had been truly blind.
Your Heart would surely be confined!
For Justin's "Love Justice" contest

Yesterday
Yesterday I forgot the shade of your eyes
I struggled to remember your touch
Today I forgot the sound of your voice
Each day I don't miss you so much
In the end you only brought me sorrow
I wonder what I won't remember tomorrow

The Promise, A Vow Broken
Let me take you to the edge of heaven
a week we have the lucky number seven
Each day shall pass love wrapped time
every moment, every minute so sublime
Nights will see our lusts celebrated
only for you was I gifted and created
That gift is only the purest of Love
beautiful as a snow white turtle dove
Before each dawn ends every lovefest
we shall forever forget all the rest
Each memory will be eternally given
in sexual madness we both be driven
Madness others only beg to ever get
soaked in love we shall never regret
This is my romantic promise to you
we together, so deeply locked as two!
R.J. Lindley
jan, 09, 1975
note: A poem , a vow I made so long ago.
Only broken by the hate birthed from her drug addiction
a year later. Even then I carried the torch for a few
more years but finally saw that my life must be lived.
I then , only then broke that youthful vow.. Sometimes
life just suxs and then we must go on...

Love's Road, Now So Lonely
I now walk this road so alone
misery chills me to the bone
Missed are your sweet embraces
sexy kisses, time never erases
Long nights filled with desire
your body lighting my hot fire
Pleasures only you could give
love cherished long as I live
Days spent holding you so close
without you my life is morose
Nights spent missing your kisses
dreaming again of our blisses
My days consumed by thoughts of you
All the hot nights we once knew
The way you held me in your arms
Keeping me close, protected from harm
Sometimes the stars, trigger memories
Of all those nights you were here with me
If for a second i could touch your hand
I would fly, way above this dreadful land
Your memory haunts me like a ghost
the lack of closure hurts the most
Then again, one more look into your eyes
I'd be hooked again.... No future goodbyes.
Collaboration, Kathryn Ramirez,
Robert Lindley
Kathryn had computer issues posting the complete poem.
Asked me to post this completed version...

Her Heart Thaws
Ice crystals in her heart soon departed
as she met another very broken hearted
Gentle man destroyed by very dark witch
untrue to feed her gigantic greedy itch
Now bloody swords have been withdrawn
sun emerges, wind sings a sweet song
Old scars vanishing without a trace
smiles sprouting upon each happy face
Scales of justice now right old wrongs
joys spring forth in melodies and songs
Life rewards those that seek true love
with sweet blesses from the heaven above
Robert J. Lindley, 09-02-2014

To Soothe Her Heart
I sat in despair, the pained look my stare
silently weeping behind dark closed doors
My world crashed because she was not there
heart and soul shatters as my misery pours
The early morning hours drag on in despair
I stumble away doing my boring daily chores
Never a moment forgetting she does not care
those terrible fights we had by the scores
Soon the dreaming of repairs come to mind
rehearsing sweet words to soothe her heart
first off, where she is now I have to find
beg her return again for our loving restart
I rise from that despair to pursue my quest
look for my lady love in all the old places
Speak to her of forever doing my very best
to dance away with smiles on both our faces
If only such a happy ending had came about
for my lady love rejected all my epic pleas
Sent me away with her cursing with a shout
not even if you cried begging on your knees!
R.J. Lindley
JULY 19, 1977
note: Written when I was 23 years old and in a
rejected , dejected and wickedly bad state.
Live and learn, life journeys ever forth....

She is, exactly what he wanted to see
His erotic fantasy
Every teenage boys playboy bunny dream
Look at how you come onto me
Lost, destroyed soul is all i will ever see
U disgust the innermost,
deepest feelings in me
She is the beauty queen
The one from your dreams
She doesn't even look like she bleeds
Imagine how she screams...
Perfect without a flaw
Take her on the wall
Have her spread all over the floor
Dont even close the door
Look at what you all came here for
Destroy her pride
Till shes got nowhere left to hide
Give her your might once more
Until she cannot take it anymore
Look into the eyes of all your lies
Realize every hurt you've given in your life
This is your whore
& now shes all bloody and sore
The same girl next door,
that u begged for more
You've burnt your soul to the core
A deed done
With blood on your hands
Listen, to your screaming fans
Shes just one of those,
that you used to love
You stole all her fairy dust
and turned it into lust.

I used to write you love songs
I used to sing your praise
I thought you could do no wrong
I still think of those special days
You were my every moment
I pampered you everyday
Told you, you were beautiful
In so many different ways
Your smile was addicting
A beauty to behold
Your heart was so amazing
Our love was a ring of gold
Those days I'll truly treasure
Our nights were mighty great
Those mornings were delicious
Our time I can not hate
I will not write you love songs
I will not sing your praise
I will not call you sweetie
I will not make your day
You know you were my Valentine
Every single day
You know I truly loved you
I wish you would have stayed
** A rewrite from last years Valentine's Day poem**