Five Tips When Making a Big Decision

I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am that it is finally here. We have no real plans for this weekend – which is perfectly fine by me! I love just being able to relax. Oh, and the fact that my “long” run always happens on Saturday also makes me very happy!

Yesterday morning I headed to the gym early and got in a 4 mile run followed by a short walk. I didn’t take any pictures, because my mind was all over the place.

After we finished up some appointments Wes went back to the gym to finish up a run so I decided to do a little spinning.

I did an easy 40 minutes while reading the final book of The Hunger Games.

It was just what I needed to de-stress a little bit before heading home.

Remember in yesterday morning’s post when I talked about decisions being made? Yep well sometimes life has other plans. A couple wrenches got thrown in the plan we thought we had so the past day or so has seemed like a crazy whirlwind.

We have until the end of the day today to finalize some decisions, so bear with me if I seem a little crazy!

In honor of the craziness around our household this week I thought this weeks Five Things Friday post would be a perfect time to how to deal with big decisions when they come along.

They always stress me out, but this time I have really been focused on making sure that we try to stay level headed and calm. Here are a few tips I have come up with.

1. List it Out

Oh you know I love lists. Love planning. Love it all, however, my husband does not. However, wether you want to make this a physical list or just talking it out sit down and list what your options are.

This helps me to see everything and think of every possibility you have. This of course depends on the decision you are making, in our case we only had a couple of options so this didn’t take us very long.

2. Break Away

When you are in the middle of a big decision it can consume everything that you do. You don’t want it to take over because often times this causes us not to be able to think straight.

We spent most of the afternoon talking, making phone calls, and doing everything we knew to do. Then we got home and we took a break.

Instead of stressing about it anymore (which wouldn’t do us any good) we relaxed, watched a movie, and made brownies.

Come on, doesn’t sugar solve just about everything? (kidding)

These are my husband’s favorite brownies from when he was a child. Mississippi Mud Brownies.

They are delicious. The picture really doesn’t do it justice.

3. Listen to All View Points

In our situation the main decision falls on Wes, however, it does impact my life as well. Make sure you listen to everyone who is going to be affected by the decision and hear their side.

Other people’s opinions don’t mean that your decision is going to be changed, but it allows you to see it from someone else’s perspective and sometimes that actually helps you in return.

We are a family and our decisions impact both of us.

4. Pros and Cons

List out (or talk it out) the pros and cons of each option. Sometimes this helps you to see all points of view. I often find that when I am making my pros/cons list that some of the “cons” aren’t really THAT big of a deal.

It helps you to put things in perspective, and it may even help to make the decision for you.

5. Trust

Once you have come to a decision, trust that you made the right one. Sitting around and dwelling on it isn’t going to do any good to anyone. You have to come to the decision using both your head and your heart and now you have to trust and let it go.

I found this quote yesterday and it was so true. You do all you can to make the best decision, you move on, and trust that it is there right one.

We have until 11:59 pm tonight to finalize the decisions. One of these I will be able to share a little bit more detail with you, but for now I’m keeping details quite since this involves my husband’s career.

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7 Comments

Great list – and I can tell that the stress is weighing on you are you have a more serious tone today 🙂

#2 is critically important, and one I have found can really trip up couples – because in reality pretty much every decision is a ‘we’ thing, because any non-trivial decision comes with potential implications and consequences, which both parties really deserve to be involved with making.

I also remember having long talks in college with friends over wine about ‘being in the right place to make a decision’ … and as we discussed it you realize how no two people make decisions the same way, or certain types of decision require different amounts of distance or objectivity. Learning how that works within a couple is another critical step … usually with bumps and bruises along the way.

Here is another fun thought – how often have you gone through everything on the list, had your Pro/con checklist, weighed it all out … and went in another direction? What you say about ‘head vs. heart’ can play an important part.

There are great tips – I’m 100% a list person. I need to see everything in clear print. I’m happy to see above that you have been able to move forward since the decision has been made. Hopefully, now you can enjoy the weekend a little more. 🙂

When my husband got a new job about 2 hours away two years ago, we had to make the decision whether I’d leave my job and go with him immediately or stay at my job until I found something by him. We wanted to make the move, we just didn’t know how quickly I should go. Ultimately we decided to go together and I’m very glad I left that old job (which I was unhappy at). It was a hard really big decision because I was leaving a job, but it all works out. Best of luck with your decision!

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