My wife and I drove up to Washington one year for Christmas with my family.....................OK that's enough about that.

Let's get to the driving home part. I like to drive.............alot. So, if I can drive some place in under 18 hours, I choose that instead of flying. I do some of my best thinking whie I'm driving .

Anyways, I like to drive at night when I can haul ass and no one is on the highway. So we left my parents house at at about 6pm and start heading home. The drive was fairly uneventful, other than walking in on a prostitute servicing a trucker in the bathroom around Wolf Creek, Oregon.

Around 2a.m. I start to get a little sleepy. I look over at my wife all curled up snuggly in a down comforter in the front of my Bronco. I think how cute and cuddly she looks, and I think I gotta have some of that. We've done it in the Bronco before so I attempt to wake her up. She slowly wakes up and says, "are you horny ?" How she does that, I have no idea. So we start thinking about where we're going to pull over to do the deed . Finally, I have this bright idea that we should pull up on top of one of the overpasses that leads out into the dark, dense forests of the Oregon/California border area that we were in. Somewhere, north of Yreka.

So, I pull off the highway with all of the anticipation of two high school kids getting ready to have sex in one of our parents beds. I think to myself what a nice night it is. It had just snowed about 12 inches and the clouds had cleared and the night sky was incredible. The Milky Way was a light show and the moon was so bright you could see details in the mountains even in teh dark. I opened my car door and step directly into 18 inches of snow with the top layer being wet powder. I walk around to the passenger side door and open it. My wife slowly pulls the blanket open to reveal , she was nude under that thing. Sweet !

Wanting to take full advantage of her adenturous showing, I drop trou.....................as I move closer, I slip in the snow, fall forward and smash my chin and lower lip on the door jam, nearly knocking my teeth out.

There I am, laying in the snow with my pants dwon to my ankles, bleeding from my chin, lip and tongue that I had bit on the way down. What could make this better?

At the moment that I stagger to my knees, I get a bright light in my eyes and a sudden feeling that we were being watched. It's a fucken UFO with a light shining right on me and now I'm getting to get anal probed. Nope, it's the local LEO that had just pulled off the freeway to check us out and see if we needed any help. He says, "are you OK?" I nervously yell, "yes, yes. We're OK. I just slipped while taking a pee". I hear silence and some talking to another person in his patrol car. He then says, "You know, it's easier to pee in the snow if you don't pull your pants all the way down". He and the person in the passenger seat laugh hysterically and drive off.

Thanks for the explination notmybikemodelname (hope your wife named your kids).
I stuck a knife in my right eye when I was four and people keep asking what happened and how did they fix it.
They stuck four stiches in it but I kept trying to figure out how they held the eye steady when poking around with a needle.
Well now I know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by notmybikemodelname

Procedures for taking an eye out:

Have the patient lay on his side with his face over a sterile dish that looks like a small bed pan.

Apply a mild sedative to the effected eye.

Tell the patient to close the non-effected eye because he will still be able to see out the effected eye once it has been removed and that can make you sick to your stomach.

Take a untesile that looks like a set of spoons and press them into the sides of the eye socket.

Wait for a slight sucking sound as the eyes is pulled from the socket and air seeps into your eye socket.

Extract pellet from said eye.

Wash eye socket with generous portions of saline solution.

Then take another utensile that looks like a four sided vise grip and use it to gently open the eye socket.

Reinsert eye

Remove utensile

Apply a medicated gel generously to the eye. Not hat kind of gel!

Apply patch.

Proceed to berate patient for being an idiot.

Tell patient your parents are here and they are pissed.

__________________And what are you planning to do with your one and only life?

I just managed to take the picture at the right time. I think things started to get weird after I left. Rob had a block and tackle and a cargo net just outside the frame and a snow blower pointed in the window. Also as I was leaving a rodeo clown and a picador were walking in.