Does anyone know where I can get a conscience-ectomy so that I too can make money selling relics on E-Bay? I’d also like to sell holy-water to the terminally ill and bring false hope to the relatives of the recently deceased by pretending to be in contact with the dead.

(I heard that many psychopaths have damage to fairly specific areas in their frontal lobes, which robs them of a conscience. Thus, it shouldn’t be too much trouble for a skilled brain surgeon to remove my conscience with a few carefully chosen incisions.)

Quite frankly, I’m getting really ticked off that you people keep seeing my images–and my mom’s–in such random objects as waffles, slabs of granite, toast, rust stains, turds, and whatever the hell else (don’t tell my dad I used the word “hell;” he’ll ground me for cursing). Most of these so-called images don’t look even remotely human. Just how ugly do you think I am?
Mark my words: I’m taking names. When The Rapture comes, all you people who have thus insulted me and mom are going to be left behind to fend for yourselves…. Along with that Mike Huckabee guy.
That dude scares even me.

I think that’s a real line in the image. Stone tile is often laid out like pages of a book, e.g. the stone is sliced and the slices are opened like a book and set that way…there’s a name for the technique…but my google-fu is weak.

It’s done that way specifically because the natural patterns in the stone are “amplified” and look more interesting.

In this case it’s like a stone ink-blot – by creating symmetry it automatically implies some kind of image.

I’m going to be honest, I see the guy with his arms outstretched more than I see the devil-face. But it doesn’t look like crucifiction to me. It looks like a guy bowing down. What’s that say about religion?

I immediately saw Jesus on the cross. Actually, this one seems pretty remarkable to me. The symmetry is quite good, although the right arm looks very muscular whereas the left arm does not. Also, the lower torso lacks any definition whatsoever. The other cool thing about this is that the white spots to the left and right look like they could be the criminals with whom Jesus was crucified (but if so, then their arms are missing).

I don’t really see Satan at all, but when I look at just the central white part of the image, I see a pretty wicked skull.

What really bugs me about these “images” is this… if Jesus/Satan/Mary/FSM/IPU/Vorpal Bunny/Whatever is so damned powerful, why can’t it manifest itself in a suitably awesome way? Why would it choose to reveal itself in half-baked, vague, shapes-that-could-be-anything sorts of ways? No Christian I have ever asked this question of has been able to come up with an answer that strays far from “God works in mysterious ways”.

You’d think Jesus would reveal himself at, say, a Middle-East peace conference… whammo, in a big flash of light He’d come in and start smiting and handing out diseases to the dreadful sinners and stuff.

At first it looked like a cow skull, but then I saw the guy from Munch’s “The Scream” running with his hair on fire.

No, wait, wait, it looks like that dude on the motorcycle from that awful Nicholas Cage movie “Ghost Rider”.

Oh wait, maybe it’s something from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica (I won’t go into more detail, this being a family blog ‘n all that).

Now there’s two blue guys. The one on the left is a backpacker taking a leak on a tree, while the one in the right is reaching up into the tree for something. Or maybe nailing up a “Do Not Pee On The Trees” sign.

Well, I see a lot of things in that: Abe Vigoda, Jesus, Atlas, Longhorn, Grey, Demon, a cat rubbing up against something, female reproductive organs, etc.

If anyone wants to see a real, amazing image of Mary holding and grieving over the body of her dead son, take a look here. It’s amazing, and I can’t find Abe Vigoda in it at all! Some guy named Michelangelo found it in a piece of marble like 500 years ago. AMAZING, I SAY!

I see a frick’n bookmatched slab of granite as Michael Barrett said above. The only reason there’s anything interesting to tune your psyche into is the symmetry that comes from cutting and flipping the stone slab.

This isn’t even interesting pareidolia since the symmetry is manmade, unless you think *half* a Jesus is something you’re recognize. I’m sure this bookmatched image bears no resemblance to the real pattern the stone was cut from.

There’s a certain balroginess to it, although the bull’s skull is the most prominent feature. Perhaps a balrog, smoking a cigar who is raising his arms because he’s being mugged — Possibly by a gun toting Jesus.