As you all know (?), I've dealt with anxiety my whole life. After therapy and meds, my anxiety and agoraphobia are so much better than they were 10 years ago, that it's incredible. Most of the time now, anxiety isn't even something I need to think about or worry about. I just... live.

But about a month ago, we started up a vanpool at work. I was very worried about this. It was exactly the kind of thing that used to trigger me. But I'm dealing. I'm dealing just fine. I listen to podcasts. I stay distracted most of the time. But it's really not so bad.

And then today, the company sprang a surprise on us. To celebrate a profitable 2010 (they discussed the final numbers today), we were all to be whisked away to a mystery event. In a chartered bus. This made the bells go off. But I did fine. Everything was fine.

hey good job, footface! that mystery event thing would make me flip out. I justt got over some major anxiety when I had an assignment to provide nutritional counseling to someone I'd never met before. A friend set me up with her coworker and I had to go to this woman's house and counsel her. I'd only been taking a counseling class for 5 weeks at that point and felt like we really hadn't learned enough, PLUS I had to meet with someone that I'd never met, which is anxiety inducing enough. Anyway, it happened because it had to happen. I nearly puked before hand and was incredibly stressed for weeks about it, but then she ended up being super nice and it ended up being ok and now it's done. PHEW!

_________________I am not a troll. I am TELLING YOU THE ******GOD'S TRUTH****** AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT THE HEAR IT DO YOU?

I finally got on meds for my anxiety about three weeks ago. I was having full blown panic attacks every single day I worked at my new job and the last one I had was in the doctor's office actually getting the prescription. I feel like it was the best decision I've made regarding my health in like...forever, but unfortunately SSRIs scare people and my family is pooping on my parade. The great thing is that I just don't care, though. I feel better than I ever have and I made like 10 really funny jokes outloud today. You people don't know, but that's not something I do - say things outloud that I think are funny. God, I'm even funnier without anxiety, what can't these pills do?

Working the reference desk used to be something that caused me a ton of stress--I was always worrying about people asking me questions that I just couldn't answer. But I've been working reference for the past month at my new job, and it's been a really positive experience. I haven't flipped out once!

_________________No. No. fork life allatimes. - mumblesThat commercial didn't make me want to go out and buy Dove, but this thread did make me sniff my armpits. They smell like apricot. - designedtobekind

Fee, tell your family to shove it! SSRIs changed my life so much I don't have to take them anymore! Of course, results may vary, but I was having attacks every day, having to almost bolt out of my classes at school to go home and lie on the couch, and generally being miserable and insane. Now, like Footie, I just live, and that's amazing.

I had something that used to be a trigger happen to me the other day, and it was so mild, that I don't even remember what it was! Triumph!

_________________These shitbirds should pay for their own elections if they aren't going to be obligated by any democratic pretense. - MumblesDon't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed

Yay, triumphs! I'm a bit of a shut-in, but I held a bake sale on my own on Saturday and it didn't freak me out. I'm no longer medicated. Exercise helps. I still freak out a lot about my work day/commitments.

I went on the drugs a few months ago and think I found my sweet spot last visit. I'm gettin out n about and actually doing things! and being excited about things! I'm taking a solo vacation (for a long time!), signed up for a hiking series (which started and went well), and im actually being nicer and friendlier to people. I'm able to do so much more in a day that I used to, and I enjoy it more. I'm returning phone calls, listening to messages, paying off my credit card, and going to the bank. Its the dumb little things that I notice the biggest change in. Also, I'm enjoying exercise and its not making me want to die like it did before. I think I might feel fuller when I'm eating too, which is nice.

The last three weeks I've gone out to concerts, by myself! I used to buy tickets and then when no one would/could go with me I would just stay home and be sad. Now I just force myself to go and it makes me feel way better about buying the tickets (I still buy two...someday I'll accept I am a lone person)

_________________~Sweet songs the youth, the wise, the meeting of all wisdom. To believe in the good in man.

The last three weeks I've gone out to concerts, by myself! I used to buy tickets and then when no one would/could go with me I would just stay home and be sad. Now I just force myself to go and it makes me feel way better about buying the tickets (I still buy two...someday I'll accept I am a lone person)

do it. going alone to shows is the only way to see music. you can stand where you want, pee when you want, and never worry about getting lost

I'm better than I was two years ago. Today, when going out for my run, I was able to distract myself past the rough "too open" patches on my way to the park that normally rattle agoraphobic me when I pay too close attention to the openness of the landscape. I focused on the lyrics of the music playing on my iPod instead of letting my mind run in that direction, where it goes out of control if I don't rein it in. I WILL PREVAIL!!!!!!

I've had anxiety and social anxiety for most of my life, and for the past six months it's been through the roof because of my job. To be honest, I'm pretty miserable right now, but I suppose there's something to be said for making it through half a year of feeling like this and still hanging in there. And! I've finally been able to get myself to doctors and I just started SSRIs yesterday. I had a couple of sessions with a therapist who didn't work out, but I'm seeing someone new tomorrow. So, triumph is on the horizon? I feel hopeful.

Fee, I hear you about the SSRI fear. I'm not going to share with my family that I'm taking them, because my dad is one of those people who believes that SSRIs cause school shootings. But if only I could have started taking them back when I was still in high school, I could have avoided so much depression and anxiety! But better late than never, I guess.

I've done two major things lately: first, I've let myself duck out of things that are inducing major anxiety. For example, it was the grad party last week, and my sweetie is the president of the planning committee. Obviously I was supposed to go. Usually I would either go, probably drink too much to make up for how anxious I am, then pick a fight with him, or else I would bail at the last minute, which would hurt him--all without explaining what's going on, because talking about my anxiety makes it a thousand times worse. This time I told him that thinking about being around 1000+ drunk people was making me really anxious and that if I went we would both have a shitty time. So I stayed home, he went and had a good time, and we were open and clear about it. Yay!

Second, I've identified what triggers me to go from sad to panic attack--it's the complete inability I feel to ask those I love and I know love me for help when I'm feeling really down and alone. This inability to let myself be loved brings up all kinds of stuff from growing up in abuse and turns into a full-on panic attack, which makes me want to get support more, but prevents me from being able to pick up the phone and the cycle continues. So I've created a codeword to use with my two closest support people, that I can text them and they know instantly what's going on and can help me. It's always the paralysis of trying to figure out what I can possibly say to tell them what's going on that makes me feel like I can't breathe, and thus don't call, so having this shorthand will (HOPEFULLY!) let me be loved and supported when I need it most.

_________________"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD

How do you guys end up on medication for it? I find one of the biggest things setting me back is just asking for help. Like, what am I supposed to do, walk into the doctor's office and be like "hey uh, can I get some anti-anxiety meds? thanks" The thought of that gives me great anxiety! Also, in the past when I was on various antidepressants I just had doctors not believing or just dismissing me when I told them I had problems...it was actually a gyno who saw cuts on my arm who convinced me to go on medication in the first place. The people who I'd tried to reach out to didn't believe me, so I have no faith in doctors or myself to actually get help. Sorry to be a downer in this thread, I want to be posting triumph!

_________________[...]then i pooped pink sparkles out of sheer hatred. -allularpunk

For me, it was a therapist who knew I really should have been on meds. But, yes, you can tell your doc you're struggling with anxiety and think meds might help. We all think the world is scrutinizing and judging us, but that's not the reality. The world—and your doc—will probably say, "What's that? You're struggling with anxiety? How can I help?"

Sorry: I posted when I only thought I had read your post. Not all doctors suck.

Rubella, I was really nervous about how to ask for meds, too. I went to see my PCP about my anxiety, and she was about to send me out with the usual "just try to take some deep breaths," when I said "...andI'dbeopentotryingmedication." She just asked me some more questions about my anxiety and I guess realized that it was worse than I made it seem (big problems with downplaying my feelings, here), and gave me a prescription then and there. It was so much easier than I expected!

But I also seem to have problems getting therapists to realize how serious my anxiety issues are. Again, I think it's me downplaying what's going on, even when I'm trying really hard not to!

Yeah, I have a really hard time talking to professionals about it. Friends, I can blab all about how I ran out of class crying and just needed to run and hide and whatnot, but when doctors try to talk to me about it, I just clam up and can't say anything. I think I'd even feel dumb trying to explain to the receptionist why I wanted an appointment.

_________________[...]then i pooped pink sparkles out of sheer hatred. -allularpunk

this is such a lovely thread. I've been having some issues with anxiety recently so this is all in the forefront of my consciousness. Despite the issues, I am still triumphant! I go to classes every day and function in social situations to the best of my ability. Every day. I've found that my 20 minute walk there is a prime time to get my panic attacks over with. I can freak the hell out for a solid 20 minutes, breathe, and talk myself down (which admittedly takes a little longer recently) and by the time I get there I am almost prepared to see other people.

_________________Space has stared into the tiny syrup holes of our shame and it does not judge us. - Amandabear

Yeah, I have a really hard time talking to professionals about it. Friends, I can blab all about how I ran out of class crying and just needed to run and hide and whatnot, but when doctors try to talk to me about it, I just clam up and can't say anything. I think I'd even feel dumb trying to explain to the receptionist why I wanted an appointment.

I totally feel you on the anxiety over asking for help. However, most medical doctors do know how to handle these kinds of situations and conversations. Often they will send you to a psychiatrist who will evaluate you and prescribe the proper medication. None of the people involved in this transaction will be judging you. I was seriously nauseous the first time I even when to a therapist, even though I knew rationally that they were being payed to help me with psychological issues I was still afraid they would think I was crazy. Anyway, Good luck. It will be okay.

_________________Space has stared into the tiny syrup holes of our shame and it does not judge us. - Amandabear

you know what's interesting? I never really thought I had anxiety until I read this thread. After reading footface's post I'm thinking maybe it's not totally normal to be paralyzed with fear about having to try something new or talk to a person. huh...

_________________I am not a troll. I am TELLING YOU THE ******GOD'S TRUTH****** AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT THE HEAR IT DO YOU?