What It's Like Living With A Micropenis

My micropenis is approximately 1 inch long when flaccid and 2.7 inches long when fully erect. It is also very thin. When flaccid, you might say it resembles two raisins flat on top of each other. As it extends erect, I would guess that in length and girth, it would be the equivalent in volume of two cocktail sausages. Various studies suggest that the average American penis is 2.8–3.9 inches flaccid and around 4.7–6.3 inches when erect.

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All this to say: the average flaccid penis is longer than mine when I am erect.

I am deeply ashamed of my micropenis, and that is largely because of things I hear women say about it. I can only speak from personal experience, but the number of times I have heard women making fun of men for the size of their manhood is staggering. At one time, I actually overheard three or four of my colleagues at work all agreeing that "men with small dicks should be made to wear a sign warning women."

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Numerous scientific studies have suggested time and again that for a huge number of women, tiny penises are simply undesirable. I am 35 and have had just one sexual experience (through personal choice), which was humiliating, to say the least. It was more than 12 years ago with a very attractive university student. When I stripped, she stared at my micropenis, giggled, and put her hand to her mouth, muttering simply "OK" in a tone that suggested she was taken aback. When it came to actually performing, first I found that the condom wouldn't stay on, but more frustratingly, my micropenis kept falling out every time I tried to penetrate her. Even when I was inside her, she kept asking me, "Is it in?" Every time she asked me that, I wanted to die. It was clear that she was getting nothing out of the experience. I genuinely tried my best to make her happy via oral sex, but she didn't orgasm or enjoy that either. When at last I finally thought I was making her content, she suddenly huffed in an annoyed way and got up, saying she needed a glass of water. And that was the end of it.

I can only imagine the level of disappointment and frustration she must have felt. It must have been a horrendous experience for her. Furthermore, a couple of days later, I did something, which on reflection, I now regret. I walked 2 miles to her apartment to leave her a box of Nestle Mint After Eights, which I had bought to show both appreciation for her intimacy and also as an apology. What kind of loser does that? What was I thinking? That she had had sex with a pathetic excuse for a man, but that it was all worth it in the end because she got some chocolate instead? I couldn't help feel like she deserved better.

Aside from personal experiences, the media doesn't help my shame either. In the U.K., Channel Four just broadcast a TV series entitled Naked Attraction, the premise being that people choose from six potential dates based solely on their naked bodies. In the season finale, six guys were lined up in front of a stunningly beautiful woman who seemed to have a nice personality. Before selecting a date, the female presenter asked her if penis size was important, to which she replied: "Yes. I've been in a situation before where a guy treated me like an absolute princess and then when it came down to it, he had the tiniest penis." As a guy with a micropenis, watching what looked like such an amazing woman say that sliced through my soul. It made me feel totally worthless, and I can't imagine what that guy she was referring to must have felt like. She was only being honest, but the message was clear: We are not good enough for you.

The way the media treats the body-shaming of men compared to the body-shaming of women is so wildly different. When Donald Trump makes questionable comments about the looks of women, he rightly causes outrage. Lists and videos decrying his sexist remarks have gone viral. Yet when a naked model of him with a micropenis was displayed in public in New York City, there was some objection (the artist was blocked from Facebook), but in my opinion, it was treated like a punch line rather than an attack. Some publications even called it a wonderful piece of art. Hundreds of Americans now have selfies of them laughing with Trump and a micropenis. We defend Heidi Cruz and Megyn Kelly, but where are the people defending small penises?

From my experience (having read hundreds of articles, forum posts, videos, and having spoken to hundreds of women online), it feels safe to say that the overwhelming majority of women aren't thrilled about the prospect of sex with micropenises. And if we don't accept that these views are likely the majority, then we are never going to challenge this blatant discrimination.

I would like to ask people to think about this: If you are attracted to somebody enough to ask them to bed, and if the guy is kind to you, is it fair to write him off based on size alone?

So what do I plan to do about my love life? The answer is nothing. I try to focus my life on my writing and other subjects that interest me. If I started to look for love, it would just make me feel down, and I already struggle with depression and anxiety secretly. I don't need the humiliation and hurt that looking for love would bring me. Sure, everybody gets rejected, but usually for less hurtful reasons.

Guys with micropenises know they are not well-endowed, they don't need reminding of it. If I'm attracted to a woman, then what she has in her pants doesn't matter to me; I care more about what she has in her heart. My deep shame about my body makes me feel like everyone else's opinion must be right, that there is something wrong with my size. I just wish people could look past it, so I could too.

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