Would you rather be sung to by a man who sounds like Barry Gibb, Barry White, or Frankenberry?

ihateoly

Nov 24 2008, 03:17 PM

Barry White or Franken berry, Scientologist (I grew up Evangelical *shudder*) and definatley crocs. I think this thread is soooo funny and awesome, btw. Why did you ladies let it die? More, please!

culturehandy

Nov 24 2008, 03:25 PM

barry white.

Okay, would you rather have porcupine quills shoot from your ass when ever you get nervous or skunk smell shoot from your bum whenever you got nervous?

ihateoly

Nov 27 2008, 11:15 AM

Porcupine neddles. That could be like a super power or something, like, "Woman stops bank robbery with her own ass". Hehehe The skunk thing would just garauntee that noone would ever want to be around me, including myself.

culturehandy

Nov 27 2008, 12:04 PM

Okay, would you rather have to eat roadkill every lunch for the rest of your life or hissing cockroaches?

ihateoly

Nov 28 2008, 01:39 PM

Ugh. Roadkill. At least I could cook it or something. I think I'd starve to death if I had to try and eat cockroaches. Would you rather have a mustache or not have sex for 2 years?

vixen_within

Nov 28 2008, 06:37 PM

*shakes head* you guys are way too hard core for me.

Lily_Anne

Nov 28 2008, 06:49 PM

QUOTE(ihateoly @ Nov 28 2008, 01:39 PM)

Would you rather have a mustache or not have sex for 2 years?

Hand me the tweezers. That goes for unibrows (forehead 'staches) too. I'm vain; plus I figure two years of masturbation won't be so bad.

Disclaimer: an answer from a virgin, aka someone who doesn't actually know what she's missing...

When I was 14, I knew a female Christian minister with quite a 'stashe. I thought she must be very religious and chaste. For the longest time I assumed all lady pastors were like that.

lilacwine13

Nov 29 2008, 01:03 AM

Porcupine quills, since that would be kinda cool.

Eat roadkill *shudders at the thought of roaches*

Not have sex for two years; I've done it before and am already battling a very, very faint mustache.

Okay, having to deal with a persistent nasal drip or occasional and unpredictable anal leakage?

ihateoly

Nov 29 2008, 03:09 PM

I'll take the constant runny nose, thanks. Anal leakage?! Scary...

ihateoly

Nov 30 2008, 11:17 PM

Okay, would you rather have six toes or six fingers?

shinyx3

Nov 30 2008, 11:29 PM

fingers! six toes might make it hard to wear pretty shoes.

would you rather fart like a dog and be unaware of it or always have the smell of dog fart in your nose.

culturehandy

Dec 1 2008, 04:07 PM

Nasal drip!

Six fingers, I oculd wear more rings. Might make wearing brass knuckles an issue, but oh well.

Sex for two years, i don't think I'ld look becoming with facial hair.

Dog fart smell, you'd get used to it. I wouldn't want to be queen farts a lot.

Okay, would you rather have 8 arms (like Vishnu!) or 8 legs like an octopus?

ihateoly

Dec 1 2008, 05:53 PM

Fingers.

No sex for two years might make a me a little crazy and there's always wax, so I'ma go with the 'stache.

I don't think I'd ever want to get used to dog fart smell, so I would take having bed gas, I think. My husband is bluntly honest and would leave the room if it were that bad.

I would rather have Vishnu arms. They look pretty on statues. 8 legs is gross.

ihateoly

Dec 4 2008, 11:06 PM

Would you rather have no eyelashes or no eyebrows and have to draw them on with a greasy eyeliner pencil?

auralpoison

Dec 5 2008, 12:51 AM

This is a toughie. A friend of mine's wife had alopecia. When we first met, I knew *something* was off about her physically. It took me five minutes to notice the total lack of body hair. She looked like an alien naked; all big bald head & no make up & all.

My gran came up during an era where thin brows were the thing, she plucked them dead. She drew them in.

I'm gonna go with brows.

Would you rather be MAD fat or have HUGE bags of skin that required plastic surgery after you got thin?

ihateoly

Dec 5 2008, 07:16 PM

Oh, damn. That's worse than having a bald forehead AND bald eyelids. I'm sooooo affraid of surgery, but I'ma have to go with the saggy skin and surgery. I'm a horrible person.

musiclovr89

Dec 9 2008, 03:12 AM

I'll have to go with the brows. some people can actually pull off drawin their eyebrows in though.

culturehandy

Dec 11 2008, 09:42 AM

Ooh brows or eye lashes, you could have a lot of fun with that.

I'll go with brows.

Excess skin, at least surgery can solve that problem.

Okay, here's one since it' so fucking cold here and my skin is going though hell.

Would you rather feel like you constantly have sand paper rubbing against your skin, OR have dry scalp.

ihateoly

Dec 11 2008, 01:09 PM

Ooh, dry scalp because i'm having some gnarly dry winter skin issues now and it ain't fun. Fuck winter psoriasis! I wish I had three thumbs so I could give it three thumbs down!

crazyoldcatlady

Dec 16 2008, 08:36 PM

there's this study floating around all those digg-type sites that talk about how 47% of women chose the internet over sex.

so, ladies: no internet for the rest of your life, or no sex?

ihateoly

Dec 16 2008, 09:17 PM

No internet.

auralpoison

Dec 16 2008, 09:32 PM

Wait. Exactly how are they defining "sex"? Are they talkin' strictly penetrative? Is it strictly male/female or can there be variations? Are they including foreplay & oral & such? What about masturbation? Anything barring toys? I need more information to decide!

I don't take my 'puter on vacation, about five days is my limit. I can go without sex for a LOOOOT longer than that. I can be a sexual camel & store it all up in my, ahem, hump!

I was without the 'net all last week & nearly went starkers. I enjoyed some *new* male attention a few times & as soon as it was over? Everything I had wanted to look up that day flooded my mind. My lust for information is pretty high, maybe even higher than my lust for cock.

ihateoly

Dec 17 2008, 02:49 PM

That's some pretty hardcore internet lovin' to consider giving up sex! I couldn't do it.

alluna

Dec 18 2008, 12:11 PM

Bleh. I make my living online, so I would have to crown someone 'Sugar Daddy' if I gave up the internet.

But if said person KNEW I had given up my job forever just for the horizontal polka, then he would definitely have some sort of psychological advantage over me. I'm thinking it would get thrown in my face a lot. The no-internet deal, that is.

no internet= you'd still have an income, but no internet, even for work. none. no matter what a n00b tells you, there is no internet in the champagne room.

vixen_within

Dec 23 2008, 12:12 AM

Honestly, I had more of a life before the internet & I can find other ways to get things done, make money etc. No internet.

Famous rejects, flavours of the month & has-beens: would you rather be the has-been actor, the one hit singer, or the mostly forgotten writer?

Persiflager

Dec 23 2008, 11:21 AM

Mostly forgotten writer - there's always the chance your books will be in vogue 100 years from now.

Would you rather give up drinking or take up smoking?

culturehandy

Dec 23 2008, 11:37 AM

COCL, that is by far one of the most difficult ever. I honestly don't know.

Writer. Writing is a hard living.

I don't drink, so I'll give up drinking.

Hmmm, okay...would you rather be Blue like a blueberry ala Violet Beauregard or be an Oompa Loompa?

ihateoly

Dec 23 2008, 01:00 PM

With the new criteria, I'm still going to say no internet.

I think writer is the more respectable of the choices.

I don't smoke, so that's an easy call.

Violet Beauregard, for sure. She could get squeezed, but you can't squeeze an oompa loompa.

vixen_within

Dec 23 2008, 02:30 PM

I don't smoke or drink much so no sacrifices here. Drinking I guess?

& Violet Beauregard. (then i would organize a rally outside the factory to liberate the oompa loompahs)

culturehandy

Dec 24 2008, 11:55 AM

OKay, would you rather be the eternal "other woman" your partner has a wife, and you're his mistress, but he (or she) would never leave their spouse or would you rather be married and love your other person, but never be able to leave your spouse.

Persiflager

Dec 24 2008, 12:09 PM

Married. I want to have my yummy cake and gobble it all up!

culturehandy

Dec 29 2008, 08:45 AM

would you rather have a hump, like a camel, or fish scales. Both come without superpowers, so because you have fish scales, you can't swim like a sfish.

Persiflager

Dec 31 2008, 09:30 AM

Assuming the fish scales would be all over my body, I'd choose hump so that my lovely cleavage would be preserved (I'm feeling shallow and happy today).

In the olde fairy tale style, would you rather be stunning during the day and a hideous hag at night or the other way around?

culturehandy

Dec 31 2008, 09:39 AM

stunning during the day, I meet more people during the day.

Okay, would you rather be involved with a man who's dick was really large, I mean, you can't even fuck him, or painfully small (we're talking like 1 inch wonder).

Persiflager

Dec 31 2008, 09:53 AM

Small, I reckon - he could always wear a strap-on that was the perfect size!

If aliens abducted you and re-engineered your body, would you rather have your digestive system removed (so you couldn't eat or drink anything, but existed on air alone), or your reproductive system (so you couldn't have sex but would instead reproduce by budding )?

culturehandy

Jan 3 2009, 02:07 PM

I'm going to go with No Digestive system.

Okay, would you rather have It's a small world for your doorbell ringer, and people would always ring the doorbell, no way to get rid of it OR Oops I did it again by Brit same deal on door bell ringer?

Persiflager

Jan 5 2009, 07:21 AM

Britney, no contest! If I had 'It's a small world' I'd kill anyone who rang the bell, and I need my postman alive to deliver Amazon parcels.

Would you have tendonitis and never be able to wear high heels, or develop an allergy and never be able to wear make-up?

culturehandy

Jan 5 2009, 10:19 AM

having had tendonitis in my ankle before, you can adapt, I'll take that. I bought some pretty rocking cute flats, too.

No mouth or no nose?

foryoursplendor

Jan 5 2009, 11:00 AM

QUOTE(culturehandy @ Jan 5 2009, 11:19 AM)

having had tendonitis in my ankle before, you can adapt, I'll take that. I bought some pretty rocking cute flats, too.

No mouth or no nose?

I guess I'd have to say no mouth... might be kinda fun to draw a different mouth on your face every day with a sharpie. *shrugs*

Persiflager

Jan 5 2009, 12:35 PM

No nose means freedom from colds. Yes please!

culturehandy

Jan 7 2009, 11:51 AM

tentacles for arms or birds legs for legs.

Persiflager

Jan 7 2009, 12:20 PM

Bird legs - I need my hands.

Would you rather constantly smell like you've just farted, or constantly be farting noisily (but with no smell)?

culturehandy

Jan 21 2009, 12:37 PM

that's the worst choice ever!!!

I guess no smell...10 year old boys would find that just way too funny.

Hmmm...Have your surgery performed by Dr. Nick Rivera of The Simpsons or die from not having the surgery performed?

gradgal

Jan 22 2009, 05:02 PM

I guess that I would always try to have the surgery rather than not in case some sort of miracle happened. Better than awaiting impending death.

Okay, here's one....would you rather sweat profusely for the rest of your life (I mean clothes are visibly wet sweating) but with no body odour OR have really bad body odour (I mean people around you are visibly uncomfortable) for the rest of your life but without the profuse sweating?

Hmmm...I still deciding on this one myself

Persiflager

Jan 23 2009, 06:41 AM

Sweaty with no BO - at least I could still get laid! I'd just wear sports clothes all the time and pretend I just finished exercising.

Would you rather spend the night on a filthy motel-room mattress, complete with bed-bugs and all the bodily fluids that show up under blue light on CSI, or on a park-bench in a dodgy neighbourhood?

culturehandy

Jan 23 2009, 09:06 AM

sweating, you can get botox to stop that.

Park bench in a dodgy neighbourhood.

Ummm, would you rather be have tons of hair in your head and no body hair or have tons of baody hair but none of your face and head and in both cases not being able to do anything about the excess body hair, no wxing, electrolysis, laser removal, NOTHING!

Persiflager

Jan 23 2009, 10:47 AM

Ooh, lots of head-hair and none on body, that would save me so much time! I can live with a little 'tash.

Bald all over or horribly hairy all over?

gradgal

Jan 27 2009, 04:02 PM

Bald all over....I can always buy a wig for my head. Plus think of all the time and money that would be saved on hair removal!

Next choice....for the remainder of your life, having all of your sexual needs fulfilled but not finding love OR finding love but not having any of your sexual needs fulfilled?

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