After a year full of changes, revelations and becoming free I welcomed 2016 in with open arms.

It's hard to think that exactly one year ago my family and I were drowning in the wake of my grandmother's death. It was to be the beginning of a long and protracted recovery and DIScovery process for me, and although I wouldn't want to live it again, it definitely helped me move on from the terrible lack of enthusiasm I had for my own life.

I had been balancing on the precipice of illness for months, and the news just gave me that push over the edge. Instead of falling, crashing to the floor and breaking into a thousand tiny pieces though, I suddenly discovered that I could fly, spreading my wings and catching the current in the air before I hit the rocky ground that would have broken me.

It's amazing to think of the changes that have happened since then. The differences in me and how I see the world, and importantly, how I see myself.

2015 in review? Lets see.

I reached my lowest weight of my adult life: 147Ibs and had a body I liked.

I put on 25Ibs and realised that I still have a body I like. It doesn't make a smidgen of difference and I'm still able to be happy and fulfilled. I didn't freak out when I saw the weight and I'm not freaking out yet. It'll come off, but what was important for me was realising that it hasn't made a difference to how I feel about me. Additionally, the difference in my body from when I weighed the same before weight training is huge - I still fit into most of my "skinny" clothes even with a considerable amount of bodyfat back on, because the base of my body is dense and muscled from weights and pole. What has been important here is there is no loss of confidence, no body issues. I'm just going about my business to take it back off so I can pole without hurting myself!

I have someone in my life who I would have loved to have met earlier. He is able to bolster my own self-confidence rather than just feeding me confidence that is not my own and is part of a new and happy life, which is being created with mindfulness, openness, trust, respect, peace and love. I have been extremely blessed.

I met my new puppy love! Lilith the Czechoslovakian Wolfdog blew her way into my life like a wrecking ball, but now she's here she has changed everything. After months of research, decisions, preparation, we finally met in December and she's eating up my Instagram feed with her cuteness!

I quit a job I couldn't stand (for reasons other than the ACTUAL reason I'm employed, which I love) and finally had the courage to start my own business tutoring students (keeping the bits of teaching I love, without the rest!), which is growing slowly and steadily and I'm loving it. I love working with my own schedule, my own wages, my own autonomy, but mostly I love being able to sit with a single student and take them through the ROOTS of the concepts that they are struggling with, so they can actually understand - rather than having to scrape out a half an hour in a busy day to try and sit for 20 minutes with them, usually being frequently interrupted (check out my swanky site at www.kent-tutor.co.uk). This is again something I can attribute to my magic man, who has prompted me to have confidence and peace in every endeavour and he gave me the support and inspiration to go ahead with it!

So as it turns out, 2015 was in fact extremely kind to me. It's odd how it looked hopeless at the start, but it's proof that if you don't give up and just keep going, eventually, things sort themselves into the way they're meant to be.

Nope, that's not my beard :p but it is my Lili :)

What's next?

2016!

I've spent some time thinking about what I want to achieve in 2016. Last year I learnt the real value of being alive. You never know what will hit you next, you never know how long you have to make good on all of the things that you want to do.

So here are some of my goals for 2016

In fitness:

Reach and maintain a body fat % of 20, and a maximum weight of 145Ibs.

Reach 10k steps each day (obviously where reasonably possible).

Train throughout the year with a minimum intensity of 3 x week (pole can be included here!)

Learn NOT to train through injury and work out how to stay active whilst recovering!

Run frequently enough to maintain cardio health but not so much it becomes an encumberance.....learn which intensity this is!

In food:

Eliminate large quantities of sugar from my diet. Not because it's "evil" but because I eat too much of it and diabetes is a real risk.

Enjoy food and learn to avoid seeing foods as "bad" or "good", rather attempt to work out whether they're worth it in terms of psychological happiness VS nutrients.

Move away from viewing food in such important terms for psychological wellbeing. Food is food.

In pole:

Get back to pole (when injury allows) and train minimum 2 x week

Work on getting pole instructor qualification.

Allow time in training sessions for warm up/cool down and stretching.

For the blog:

pole videos

more #polekissed!

So here's to 2016! Whatever this year brings, it's always worth remembering that you know more, have done more and are further along in every venture with each passing day!

Comment below and tell me how 2015 treated you! What are your goals for 2016?