Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Age differences

my street is full of kids of all different ages, the great part about living in a suburban area. well, my kids are ages 6, 3 & 2, and they frequently play with one family in particular just a few houses down. (ive posted about them before, but im slowly able to tolerate them in small doses) well i only allow one of them in my house at a time, because i already have 3 kids, i'm a single mom & can only supervise so many things at once. i used to allow 2 or 3 of them inside (there are 5 kids total in that family) and quickly learned my lesson with that.

personally, i feel it's appropriate that my kids play with the younger children there, the twin girls that are turning 7 this weekend or the 8 year old.

when we're all outside, well obviously it doesn't matter who comes over to join, we're outside.

the 10 year old girl is always getting jealous about me not letting her inside to play, or letting her sleepover like i do the younger girls, or have dinner with us. even the 12 year old boy gets upset when i don't let him inside to play with my YOUNG daughters.

i don't get it... why would children those ages even want to play with my kids? i get that they probably just want to play with their stuff, they don't have a lot of stuff at their houses. but really, at 10 & 12 i had no interest to play with kids that younger than me, that i remember anyway.

am i being bitchy about this, i mean, would you allow kids that are 5+ years older than your kids come inside to play, or kids that are older and of the opposite sex?

my kids are 9(dd)and almost 3(ds),they play with the kids across the street that are 5 and 12.I think my ds has the most fun.the mom and I take turns as to who's house.I have no problem with the 12 yro coming over to play.he is awesome with my ds.

My oldest son went to a developmental preschool when he was younger (speech delay). Well, the bus he rode had some older kids on it and he made friends with one of the boys. He called him "boy." We ended up inviting him to our Halloween party. The boy was nothing but friendly and nice the whole time. Mind you, my son was 5 at the time and the other boy was 10 or so. We had no problems.
The way I looked at it, the boy in question didn't really have parents (he was living with is grandparents) and he had no sibilings. My son was nice to him, so he choose him as a friend. I don't see a problem unless the older child is treating the younger child poorly.
-Ashley

It's still sibling rivalry. The younger kids are getting to do something the older sibs can't. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them competing with each other.

I grew up in a neighborhood with kids of varying ages too, and everybody was into and out of each others's homes at all times. Had nothing to do with ages or gender but whatever seemed like was the most fun thing at the time. And if a mom was to forbid something that would only make it all the more attractive.

My 5 year old daughter's favorite cousin is 16 and a boy. He's 11 years older than her. But that's family, so gets an exemption.

This past summer there was a 14 year old boy over here playing with 5-10 year olds. I didn't like that, but only because that boy would make the littles do his dirty work for him, then claim innocence when they all got in trouble.

No, I don't think I would allow the 10 or 12 year old in to play with my 6, 3, or 2 year old. If I was friendly with the parents and our families got along, I'd consider it. But you're not friendly, and don't get along, so no.

Well I have sisters who come over, they are my dds friends. They have an older brother who plays video games with my dh when they play with my girls. If I ask them over for dinner I ask him. If I take them bowling I take him as well. I wouldnt let him come over and just play with my dds but we do inclued him in when we do extra stuff. He likes when we do holiday crafts, bake, go out. All together I have six children when they come over I can handle it they are all 7 and up and listen other than my youngest who is 4. But I feel that if the younger ones are your dds friends you do t have to include the older ones it's just nice to do that sometimes.

I agree with asnilm, it's more about sibling rivalry ! They would like the attention from someone else too because maybe they don't get it at their own place.
Oh and my 13 y/o loves to play with his 5 and 2 y/o brothers (and their toys).