From time to time it comes up. This week I've been getting e-mails that go something like this:

My friends are expecting in August. They just found out it is a girl, which they were hoping for. They also found out the baby has severe deformities. They have been advised the baby will not survive and if it was born it would not live for very long. My friend says she doesn't want to carry a baby to term just to have it die. They also think this would be hard on the other children. They have been advised to get a D&C
Because this does happen once in a while, I wanted to put up a handy reference post that can be linked to for future reference.

I have never had this type of situation personally. I have however, had a stillborn son that I never had a chance to meet. What I wouldn't give to have had a few moments with that baby, to hold him and say hello and goodbye. I think when couples get a diagnosis like the one above, they are dealing with such shock and pain that there is…