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Funny satire stories about Age

HOUSTON - President Obama recently stated to a group of retired lumberjacks up in Portland, Oregon that times have really changed.
And now with NASA's announcement, that saying is really, really ringing true.
NASA spokesman Trent Timmelfarb inf...

HOUSTON - One of the world's leading scientist Dr. Currington S. Clexweiser has just made an unbelievable discovery.
Dr. Clexweiser has revealed that recent scientific studies show that the planet Saturn, which is listed as being 4.5 million years...

Philadelphia, PA-- The youngest person ever to live has been discovered in the City of Brotherly Love. Miss Jane Doe was officially documented to be only one-second old shortly after her birth this morning at the University of Pencilvainia Hospital.

After several failed relationships with women in their early to mid-twenties, 62-year-old* bachelor Nick Candlewood decided to date only age-appropriate women in their thirties.
"There are some very smart, mature 25-year-olds out there," remarks N...

A recent scientific study to determine the age when the human brain starts to show a significant decline in it's reasoning powers has found that it's no later than forty. This is much earlier than was determined by a different team of scientists in 2...

Alcohol researchers have finally discovered that heavy drinking affects the brain.
After 44 unsuccessful results, researchers at Carlsburg University recently came up with a winning study. They got 10,000 'initially reluctant' volunteers to consum...

Don't worry about getting old. It happens to us all.
JUST DON'T JOIN THE BLUE RINSE CROWD.
Our knees may creak and our backs may ache but just stay young at heart...hang around with younger people and if your hair turns white,enjoy it. JUST DON'T JOIN THE BLUE RINSE CROWD.
I was lucky in that my hair started to turn white in my 20's and was totally white by my late 20's. It's in the genes...

Sad news today as the World's oldest man, Walter Breuning, died in America at the age of 114.
He was well known for such sayings as 'We're all born to Die' and 'I'm ninety nine You Know' , and just recently said 'I'm One Hundred & Fourteen.'...

It's not everyday you wake up and you are told you're old.
Well OK, maybe it is, but only if you listen, and I'm told that one of the only benefits of growing old is selective hearing.
Well, that and standing on street corners and yelling at youngsters about how 'they don't know they're born' and 'pull your trousers up' (in a purely fashion-oriented sense, not in a peadophilic way!)
I jus...

In the event that you are showing signs of adopting any of the traits or habits below, and you are under 30 years of age, then you are maturing too fast!
In the event that you are over 30, and not finding any of the traits below are applicable to you - then you are childish and underdeveloped mentally.
1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
2. You get more excited about h...

While most people resolve to change their lives in a meaningful way in the upcoming year, Emmy-winner Betty White hopes that 2011 ends with her in a lavish brass casket. Unexplained Reference Key
Helen Kushnick (1946 - 1996)Jay Leno's former agent...

Elton John and his partner David Furnish have at last agreed to have a baby, after years of agonising.
"The problem was," says Elton," we considered there were far too many backward children in the world without producing another."
However in...

In an astonishing announcement type thing yesterday, some science chap said that he has been doing some studying and that, of people and stuff.
Our reporter bloke went to go and see him and he took a pen and paper too. Just for the look of the th...

Great scientific advances will be heralding in a time when 100 is the average age. The Queen is worried she will have to send so many messages of congratulation that she will run out of paper and Prince Charles, becoming frustrated at waiting so long...

A man of fifty was stopped from buying a bottle of wine in Tesco's because he admitted to staff that he had no idea what he was buying. He said that he usually drank lager, but had decided on a whim to try wine.
Staff at the Birmingham store firs...

ATLANTA, Georgia - The world's oldest woman, Ann Nixon Cooper, the Atlanta woman whose name Barack Obama invoked to symbolize America's struggles and progress, died in her sleep Monday.
This is the second black centenarian to die on the President'...

The Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team took the Olympic Gold Medal in the team competition, but has been disqualified due to the falsification of the ages of some of the team members. News sources had reported several days ago that at least three membe...

Age concern today laughed off suggestions by Salford FC Boss Alex Ferguson that Chelsea are too old to win major honours. They claimed that in the modern day age is no barrier to success, and surely the Utd boss man is a testament to that.

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