Friday, November 18, 2011

The Invisible Woman

“It’s one thing to go through a crisis grandly, yet quite another to go through every day glorifying God when there is no witness, no limelight, and no one paying even the remotest attention to us…to do even the most humbling tasks to the glory of God takes the Almighty God Incarnate working in us. To be utterly unnoticeable requires God’s Spirit in us making us absolutely humanly His.”

~Oswald Chambers

I had an epiphany today; I must be the invisible woman.

Really, this is what God wants for me—to reflect Him, not myself--to strive more and more to hide in Him so that people see Jesus when they look at Tori.

That sounds all proper and holy when I write it on here; but real life happens. In my real life, I love the appreciation, the praise, the atta-girl’s I get from others. I love it when I am noticed for my special abilities, my hard work, or my insight. I love all of these things because I think they give me favor with people. I love all of these things because I think they make me successful. And every one needs a pat on the back every now and then, right?

Right…and wrong. If I receive affirmation for something others see in me, and if immediately give credit to God in my heart, and I instantly turn my focus to Him and His blessings, then praise and accolades can be good; they increase my respect for my Creator. But, If I constantly crave this encouragement as a way to feel good about myself, and if I focus on it more than I focus on God’s truth, then this yearning for kind words becomes an idol and it makes me focus inward on myself instead of upward on God. This view skews my understanding of true “success”.

It’s OK for me to want to do well. It’s even OK for me to want to achieve a measure of worldly success. But if I am doing these things in order to bring glory to Tori, they all become wrong. Whatever [I] do, whether in word or deed, [I must] do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17). If I hide myself in Christ and His purposes, and if I truly believe what He says about me in the Bible, that huge need to be noticed will be completely filled by Him. Then when others praise me, it will be a welcome surprise and joy for my soul—kind of like icing on the cake—not completely necessary, but wonderfully fulfilling!

So, every day, I must fade a little more. And my devotion to MY success, and MY accomplishments, and MY ego must turn into dedication to HIS glory, and HIS honor, and HIS renown.