Guild:Shaman Trainer (Zuluhed US)

The contents herein are entirely player made and in no way represent official World of Warcraft history or occurrences which are accurate for all realms. The characters and events listed are of an independent nature and applied for roleplaying, fictional, speculative, or opinions from a limited playerbase only. Guild pages must comply with the guild page policy.

Contents

Shaman Trainer is a Day 1 guild on Zuluhed. It was originally founded by a young Gnome named Short. Short had a fanatical interest in Star Trek and created the guild with one principle in mind: Star Trek roleplaying. The guild struggled with numbers early on, as Star Trek roleplaying does not attract many players, and ths eventually caused Short to resign his post as Shaman Trainer Fleet Admiral and quit World of Warcraft entirely. Short had not named a replacement, but the position was quickly taken in a non-violent coup by human Sisko, who seized power by claiming to have once shaken the hand of the real Captain Benjamin Sisko. Sisko was entirely devoted to Star Trek Deep Space Nine and considered it to be the best of any Star Trek series. He is, of course, correct.

Seeing the number problem, Sisko decided it would be best to merge with other small guilds to create a single Super Guild (much like Voltron). He searched far and wide and eventually found two guilds that wished to join forces. One was founded on the principle of racial harmony and was populated primarily by African Americans, and the other guild consisted of members from several college "Gay Straight Alliances". After these mergers, the guild mission statement was updated to reflect that Shaman Trainer was no longer just a Star Trek roleplaying guild, but now a Black Homosexual Star Trek roleplaying guild.

After these successful mergers, Shaman Trainer began 20-man raids and was met with great success. The guild, however, still lacked the numbers for the major content, 40-man raids. Shaman Trainer decided that they had to ally with another guild for this. Merging again could have upset the delicate balance of blacks, homosexuals, and Star Trek roleplayers and been detrimental to the morale of the guild. It was decided that the guild would remain exclusive and form a raiding alliance. The guild Legions of Lordaeron, lead by Tom "Lboxx" Corcoran, was selected for this alliance. The alliance did not last long, as Legions of Lordaeron had aspirations of solo raiding, however, during the first three weeks of Molten Core, Sisko received both the left half, and the right half of the Bindings of the Windseeker. The night the raiding alliance dissolved, Shaman Trainer decided to spend some time learning the Onyxia fight in lieu of running Molten Core. That night, Shaman Trainer killed Onyxia for the first time with fewer than 25 players, and continued on to clear several bosses in Molten Core.

Once the server became eligible for transfers, Shaman Trainer was allowed to pull from a much larger pool of players. A campaign of newspaper advertisements and craigslist postings ensued in an effort to further bolster numbers. The guild was able to double their numbers keeping recruitment closed to everyone except blacks, homosexuals, or Star Trek roleplayers. The guild continues to grow based on notoriety alone (the guild has become quite well known the black, homosexual, and Star Trek roleplaying gamer communities).

In October of 2006, a Star Trek exhibit at The Smithsonian Institute in Washington, DC caused Sisko to resign as Fleet Admiral so that he may spend as much time at this exhibit as possible. Tuppy, the former leader of the African American guild, was named as Sisko's successor. He gained the rank of Top Dawg and lead the guild onward in progress. Sisko later returned after the exhibit, but as a member only, and did not resume his role as Fleet Admiral.

Listed here are some of the common mistruths that members of Shaman Trainer may be seen reciting on the Zuluhed realm forum:

"We have not taken long to kill any boss."

This statement is entirely false. It is commonly known that it has taken Shaman Trainer 6 months to kill Ragnaros and another 6 months to kill Nefarian despite the server having opened in May of 2006. It is estimated that Shaman Trainer will kill C'thun two years from now, with Kel'Thuzad finally dying in late 2010.

"We killed Thrall."

While this statement is technically true, it counts as a mistruth as Shaman Trainer has been implicated in the kiting of Dr. Weavil to Orgrimmar. Though Thrall was killed before Dr. Weavil appeared in Orgrimmar, it is obvious that the appearance of this world boss served as a distraction so that Shaman Trainer might kill Thrall undistrupted.

"We are a casual guild."

This is an outright lie. Shaman Trainer defectors have reported strict attendance requirements, aggressive raid schedules, and very strict gear requirements. Despite all this, Shaman Trainer has managed to only become third guild, progress-wise, on Zuluhed.

It should be noted that every guild that Shaman Trainer has been involved with, or had members defect to has eventually disbanded. Among these are Legions of Lordaeron (guild alliance), Raid for Love, Pantheon, Group Hug, and others. Until recently, the only exception to this rule was Group Hug, which had one former member of Shaman Trainer in its ranks. Group Hug has since dissolved.

This award is given to the guild on all World of Warcraft realms that is trolled most often. Shaman Trainer exceeded Chuck Norris Fanclub of Stormreaver in early November, 2006, to claim this prize.

Best Star Trek Roleplay

This award is given out by the Star Trek Roleplayers' Society (STRS, or commonly known as "Stairs"). The guild received this award for the October, 2006, in-game re-enactment of the series pilot for the Star Trek (the original series).