It seems like something Randall Munroe would come up with, but I’ve found at work that describing – emphatically – tasks you need your colleagues to perform as “imperatives” works wonders in actually getting them to, you know, do stuff. “Doing good things is important, yes, but meticulous and up-to-date documentation fulfills a critical social imperative, which is why we’re entrusting the future legacy of this project to you and you alone. The whole world is watching; please don’t fail.”

Everyone talks about planting incriminating evidence at crime scenes to “frame” an individual, but how come nobody ever talks about planting exculpatory evidence? Like, you don’t smoke, but you leave a cigarette butt in the toilet? Or you do the whole Mythbusters photo-etching fake-fingerprint thing to leave a random stranger’s bloody fingerprint on a doorknob? Probably requires too much advance planning for your average criminal…

Coming soon to a newsstand near you, the latest new magazine for and by domestic extremists. I’d subscribe, but I wonder what kind of watchlist I’d wind up on? Ah, who am I kidding? I’m probably already on all the cool watchlists, anyway, and it’s only eighteen bucks a year. Hmmn, might have to give subscriptions as a nondenominational winter holiday gift this year…

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on October 22nd, 2009 |Comments Off on Kwik Hits