16 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend’s So Mean!

Want to know why your boyfriend’s so mean? Well, here are 16 reasons why he could be mean to you, and one thing you need to understand about it.

As much as all fairy tales and chick flicks harp on about perfect romances and happily ever afters, if you’re in a relationship with a mean boyfriend, you know your love life is far from being a perfect romance.

Sometimes, relationships are just a pain in all the wrong places.

But then again, are all fairy tales wrong?

If you’re dating a guy who’s really mean, maybe he’s not the guy for you, or just maybe it’s all just a big silly misunderstanding.

And once the confusions are all sorted out, perhaps you could move on to your own happily ever after.

But everything sweet and nice starts with you getting a better understanding of your own relationship.

Some guys are just bad boyfriends, and you can’t change them or help them because they don’t want to change. And the more you try to help them become a better person, the more mean and annoying they get.

And in almost all other cases, it could be a lack of communication or several other little reasons that can be sorted with time and better understanding of each other’s wants and needs. [Read: 20 secret things guys wish girls knew about guys]

16 reasons why your boyfriend’s so mean

If you’re dealing with a boyfriend who ignores you, is rude, or just plain mean, use these 16 signs to get to the bottom of his mean issues.

#1 He’s not serious. Is he really serious about your relationship? You can never tell unless he says it himself, but perhaps your boyfriend is an annoying pig who isn’t really serious about you or the relationship.

#2 He’s playing you. Your boyfriend could be a bad boy potential who’s just toying with your feelings by being unpredictable. And he knows that the more he pushes you away, the more it’ll leave you confused and addicted to him.

#3 Lack of communication. You think he’s mean, but have you ever really voiced your thoughts to him? For all you know, your boyfriend probably has no idea you’re even upset with him. You need to tell him how you feel.

#4 He has an addiction. If a guy isn’t in control of his own life, chances are, he’s addicted to something and puts his addiction before you. It could be a video game, or something much worse.

#5 His mother didn’t teach him any manners. It’s true, most guys just look at the way their fathers behave at home and do everything just like their fathers do. If your boyfriend’s dad is a slob or his mother didn’t teach him his manners, he probably thinks he’s the perfect guy already because he’s just like his dad.

#6 He’s using you. This is frustratingly sad, but the guy you love may only be using you to get something from you. He may want you as his arm candy to show you off, or it may just be the sex too. [Read: 7 signs he’s using you for all the wrong reasons]

#7 He’s bored of you. If a guy is getting bored of you or the relationship, he’s not worth your time. You can use a few moves to keep him interested. But that’ll happen only if he’s already in love with you. And really, should you try to keep a guy interested in you when all he wants to do is walk away from you? [Read: How to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]

#8 You’re not important to him. He may be the most important part of your life. But to him, you may only be a small part of his evenings. If both your expectations in love don’t match, it’s hard to have a perfect relationship with each other.

#9 He thinks you’re clingy. Sometimes, your guy may need his own space now and then. He may feel like you’re always around him, and may want his own space for a while. But if you don’t believe you’re clingy, you shouldn’t be dating a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself because you’re in love with him. [Read: 13 clingy girlfriend signs and how to avoid it]

#10 Payback. Have you recently cheated on him or hurt him in some manner? This may be your boyfriend’s childish attempt at getting back at you.

#11 He’s a coward. He may want to break up with you, and because he’s such a scared coward, he may assume that being mean is the easiest way to force you to dump him first. If he’s been a nice boyfriend all this while and has suddenly started to get mean and distant, you need to bring up that breakup conversation to see what he has in mind. [Read: Conversation tips on breaking up with someone you love]

#12 There’s someone else on his mind. You may love your boyfriend, but he may be in love with you and infatuated by someone else.

#13 You’re helpless without him. Do you feel like you have no life without him? If you feel helpless without your boyfriend around you, it may force him to get mean, just so you can stand up on your own feet again. Be independent and confident, and it’ll help your boyfriend appreciate you for the real individual you are. [Read: 10 annoying girlfriend habits that guys hate]

#14 You’re misunderstanding him. Is he really a mean boyfriend, or did you just misunderstand what he said. Just because your boyfriend says you look okay doesn’t mean he thinks you’re plain jane material. Sometimes, guys just don’t have a way with words and end up using words that seem worse than what they really mean.

#15 Both of you have different needs. You want to spend more time with each other, but he believes a relationship means meeting once a week. If your relationship compatibilities don’t match, you can’t be happy and he’ll always seem mean. [Read: 50 relationship questions to text your compatibility]

#16 He’s a bad person. It’s true. Sometimes, the guy you’re dating may be a really bad guy who treats you like dirt, and expects you to treat him like a king. If you’re emotionally tormented by a boyfriend who treats you disrespectfully, leave him. He’s not just mean, he’s scum.

If you find your boyfriend mean, and you’re trying to make the relationship work by changing yourself for him, stop that. Instead, speak to him about it. Sometimes, all you need is a conversation to sort things out. If he’s truly serious about you, he’ll push the panic button and try to turn himself into the nicest boyfriend just so he can keep you happy. [Read: The true power of words in a relationship]

It’s not always your fault

It’s not always your fault, remember that. Sometimes, you may be the best girlfriend in the whole world. And you may be stuck with a good boyfriend who has different expectations from a relationship, or he may just be a bad boyfriend.

Have a heart-to-heart conversation with him about how you feel, and if he doesn’t care or if he doesn’t want to change for you, it obviously shows that he’s not serious about you. He doesn’t look at you as his better half. Instead, he only looks at you as an accessory to satisfy his own needs. Do you really need a guy like that?

Break up with your boyfriend if he doesn’t change his behavior. It’ll hurt for a few weeks, but that pain is a drop in the ocean compared to the years and years of suffering you’ll have to put up with, just to try and please him and keep him happy while you suffer like a martyr. [Read: 10 things girls should never say to guys]

If you’re not happy, you’re not. Don’t go changing yourself just to fit into someone else’s image of a perfect girlfriend. You can try to be a better person by weaning off your negative traits, but you should never change yourself for someone when you don’t feel the need to.

Lack of communication? How about just stfu up for once ladies, I am a women but admitedly favor the male lifestyle, like beauty and cooking and being girly except one thing.. talking… its the worst simply because usually it feels like a interogation especialy on first dates. And if you do this often you come off like your trying to control shyt. And dnt talk in the morning … do the routine with your mouth shut… unless yoh are eating… brushing your teeth or sucking d1ck.. if your your a straight guy then lick the clit… seriously though morning sex is beautiful but morning breath is nasty… so dnt talk

Don’t tell me what to fucking do. Freedom of speech is for EVERYBODY. My man doesn’t get mean when I talk. We make each other laugh. NOBODY should have to hold their tongue around someone they love. Actions speak more than words, anyway. That’s proof you hang out with shitty people who don’t care about what you’re saying. Take your “advice” and shove it up your ass. Speak your mind, stop being a coward when it comes to men, and stop encouraging other women to be cowards.

You sound like a hoe rather than a girlfriend. Your shit is not going to last if you’re constantly a mute bitch and morning breath during sex is nasty I can’t go that far I’m sorry my guy and I both believe in brushing the teeth. You need to get some real standards about yourself; you think you’re thinking like a man by not talking in the morning but not every guy is like that-some men DO actually talk to their wives in the morning. My guy is quiet in the morning because he’s still waking up but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t speak; if I don’t speak then he thinks something is wrong, so you see not every guy is the same realize that. Men like women who express their feelings and their opinion-the confusing thing is that they’ll say it’s annoying verbally, but in reality they like a woman who puts them in their place when they’ve fucked up. I do that with my boyfriend always since I met him some days he’ll pick a fight with me for the hell of it and I just tell him to calm down and stop always wanting to fight cause it’s stupid and sometimes he does take a step back and listens to what I tell him, it depends on the guy though, but my guy does listen to me when he’s shouting and I’m calm it’s a psychological thing I learned to do.

I’m glad that I came across this article tonite; I know that #4 is one of the main issues with my soon to be ex. This is someone whom “needs alcohol”, and that molly stuff. I am very independent and introverted “like ” (even though I am a Gemini) & prefer to watch tv, work (mkt research), clean , listen to disco/house , hangout/and do creative home stuff. And yes , a couple bud lts and cigs. He was a homebody when I used to work 4-10p outside the home. My point is he won’t /can’t have a beer or so with me because he has to have 3 triple shot stiff drinks with at least 4-5 pints of tap beer within a hr or so at the tavern inwhich happy hour and party goods is with the company of other addicts (remember that alcoholics only will drink when; a) when they know that they have absolute alone time at home . b) associate and only drink with others whom have high-level consumption /pace . Both a & b?. He is a hardworking blue-collar worker ( mechanic asst and hvac) ; he is irritable, yet functional. I have been feeling like crap because he is always abandoning me -we’re in our 40’s and it hurts me that he prefers to party hard and becomes more intolerant. I had to have the police diffuse a potential situation (he was so doped up and verbal) last nite. It sucks because I am fed up and know I deserve better and thought we would grow older together and basically told him he needs to re-home. Yet no apology attempts or smoozing. Again I websearched “why is he so mean ” & read this lovehanky site…

I think its really fucked up that u feel t way… nobody should feel that the have to keep there mouth shut at all especially when your in a relationship. That wouldn’t be a relationship at all now wouldit

Ladies, for the love of all things good in the world is this really an accurate representation or do you all have an axe to grind with men? I have never read so much one-dimensional hatred to a group of people. Not just a group of people, half the population if I’m correct. I’m reading comments and women are fighting among one another. Seriously, what in the hell is going on here?!

Hey Ethan. Hope you are doing great. Very nice article. My boyfriend is mean to me for like quite some time now and after reading your article I put a good amount of time and thought to this and came to the conclusion that most probably point # 11 is applicable to our scenario (i.e. he may want to break up with me and may assume that being mean is the easiest way to force me to dump him first). He