Priv-A-See: No, It’s Not a Pee

It’s true. After eleven years with my partner I still want some privacy. Reeve: I have no desire to share my “#2s” with “yous.”

That’s indeed why the door gets locked.
I hear him approach. He says something to me that I cannot make out that is probably one of those questions he already knows the answer to but annoyingly asks anyway (a misguided need for continual conversation? Do others suffer this at home?) … and immediately grabs the handle and TRIES TO ENTER!

???!!!??? WTF(rigg?!) ???!!!???What in the world makes anyone even *entertain* the notion that entering a bathroom with a closed door first thing in the morning would ever be a good idea?

Boys. I’ll tell ya’. Women, too?

I’m a dude with a dude. If I were just urinating or showering or shaving, the door would be open. That’s why the door gets locked. I’m pooping. Leave me alone.

And yes, everyone poops. Get over it. But that doesn’t mean I wish to defecate *with* you or anyone else for that matter. No brown hanky here. Neither pocket. No cup either.

Please, allow me to attend to business in peaceful privacy. Thank you.