Stopping the writing frenzy otherwise known as NaNoWriMo (the ‘write 50,000 words of a novel in November’ project) in order to take a quick break here. I’m almost at 30,000 words and the last two nights I’ve fallen asleep typing only to read the last couple pages the next day and notice that I have no memory of them. They were written while I was asleep. And not bad, either!

This is brilliant, of course. I should be doing this ALL night while i sleep and the multitasking skill that speaks of is AWESOME.

I was completely bothered by something the other day. COMPLETELY. I had an appointment I was sure was at 11. It was at 10. But I missed it and then they called, and I didn’t answer because i do NOT answer phones, not even cell phones really. And then? Then they called my mother. Who called me. And i DO answer phones really, if it’s my mother calling, because I was raised better than to not do that. And then I had to call back and GROVEL because I missed that appointment and that is SO flaky and I so don’t ever want to be that person. I mean, ick. Flake, flake, flake.

They were nice enough to still see me at 11.

I was on my way. Feeling like a flaky flake flake moron of the worst sort. These people don’t know me well. They don’t know yet that I won’t be doing this sort of thing to them ALL THE TIME, and really what good would it be to say so? None. So I’m ALL worked up over it, because they probably can’t stand me and I can get crazy/guilty/full of self loathing over tiny things quite easily and then? Then a song comes on the radio.

It instantly snaps me out of it.

Not because it’s a great song.

Because it’s SUCH a horrid, disturbing song that i cannot possibly be focused on how to more effectively hate myself while still listening to this.

So I turn it up. WAY up.

‘Muskrat Love,’ y’all. Captain and Tenille.

That song will snap your perspective way into another galaxy JUST. LIKE. THAT.

The drawback is that you will instead be listening to Muskrat Love. By Captain and Tenille. So use judiciously, and highly infrequently.

I suppose I always thought that was a bad analogy for a song. But NO. It’s literal. It’s about a romance between actual rodents, y’all. REALLY. I must have thought that because unless you really need to distract yourself from something, any normal person would change the station.

Immediately.

Before realizing it’s a literal song about rodents and their love.

Elaborate descriptions of their courtship are sung. Electronic rodent-y noises are RAMPANT. Those muskrats shimmy, and wiggle, and do things with their whiskers that are supposed to be sexy to other muskrats. (I think. That was my impression upon hearing.) They have names. I don’t want to remember them. (It’s been a couple days and I’m starting to block it out and I”m good with that so don’t remind me.)

I looked up muskrats. (Don’t google image search ‘muskrat love.’ Really, don’t go there. That was a bad/naive call on my part, and save yourselves from those images.) If you want to see a muskrat you can click HERE though. They’re BIG and ugly. Wikipedia says they are medium sized, but if that’s what they say a medium sized rodent looks like, I hope to never see a ‘large.’

If you can’t resist, here are the lyrics. But you probably should. Unless you’re having a really bad day.

And then the song ended. My mouth was hanging open just a bit. I was completely shocked that this song had ever been recorded. I arrived at my appointment and everything was FINE. If they thought I was a flaky moron they were nice enough to not act like it at the time.

so i didn’t mention muskrats, or they might have found that much harder to do.