September 12, 2018: Considering the Afterlife: A Conversation with Tyra and Ryder

The following conversation took place when all three of us were out on our trails.

Alys: Ryder, come.
Ryder: Why? Squirrelly Whirly is right up this tree. He comes down and he’s mine.
Tyra: Why would you want a squirrel?
R: Why wouldn’t I want a squirrel?
T: I mean, what are you going to do with him, her, or it?
R: I’ll figure that out when I catch it.
A: Border collies are known to run and stalk. They don’t kill.
R: Oh.
T: If it was underfoot, I would stomp it.
A: So you are programmed to kill?
T: Darn right.

Ryder and her squirrel

A: Would you eat it?
T: No.
R: I don’t understand why horses eat grass when there are so many better things out there.
A: I’m with you on that one.
T: Grass tastes good and is good for you.
R: Ugh.
A: Okay Tyra, take it easy here on Suicide Hill.
T: Will do.
R: Let’s do the loop again.
A: Let’s not. Let’s just do Siggi’s Loop and head for home.
T: I’m starting to get bored with us riding the same old trails.
A: I just wanted to make sure you. . .
R: Look. There goes a moose.
T: Those are the strangest animals I have ever seen.
R: And they are not very smart, either.
T: Haven’t seen many lately.
A: That’s because it’s hunting season.
R: Humans run, stalk and kill, don’t they?
T: The hunters I’ve seen are very heavy, so they don’t run.
A: No, they ride motorized vehicles.
R: And tear up the trails.
T: Alys, can’t you do anything about this?
A: I am at a loss.
R: How about having a human hunting season? There are some dogs out there that would delight in pulling a few of them down.
A: I’m afraid that they outnumber the dogs.
T: That’s a shitting shame.
R: Watch your mouth.
T: I am watching it. It has a bit in it. Used to be Hrimmi’s bit and now it’s mine.
A: What do you think about having this bit in your mouth?
T: So far it’s okay. You have soft hands.
R: I could do without this harness.
A: Nope, you pull when I put the leash on your collar.
T: In heaven there are no bits or harnesses.
R: How do you know this?
A: Tyra knows a lot of things.
T: Yes, I do know a great deal.
A: What else do you know about heaven?
T: It’s a place in which all animals are free to do as they choose.
R: Do dogs chase squirrels?
T: Yes they do. But the squirrels have the ability to disappear and reappear.
R: No?
T: Yes.
A: And what about humans?
T: Humans enjoy being with the animals and have no desire to run, stalk, or kill them.
R: How do you get to heaven?
T: When you die, your soul goes through a portal that’s surrounded by bright light.
A: And then?
T: And then you end up in this very wonderful place.
R: Well, I’m not going there any time soon.
A: Me neither.
T: Nor am I.
A: For now, I’m enjoying heaven on earth.
T: And this is a beautiful evening.
R: And wonderful company.