IT’S A GAME OF KATZ AND MOUSC

Wonderful World of ‘Quizzney: Mickey Mouse trojans get beaten Goofy by Beavers 36-7, as Ryan Katz and Jacquizz Rodgers make sure that Reser Stadium remains a Haunted House for usc

It’s a smile world after all.

The trojans lost another game on Saturday night, but they might be about to lose a whole helluva lot more in the days to come. You know that Agent’s golf cart that Dillon Baxter took a free ride in on Friday? You know, the one driven by an Agent whom Baxter said he didn’t know was an Agent? Well, it turns out that the cart itself was emblazoned WITH THE LOGO OF THE AGENCY!!!!!!!!!!!

What total bullcrap!!!!!! The cart said right on it, for everyone to see: “First Round,” as in, sign with us and we’ll get you drafted in the First Round of the NFL Draft. Are you honestly telling me that Baxter didn’t know he was talking to an Agent? Like I said, “Bullcrap!!!”

Not only that, but the Agent, a student named Teague Egan, claims that he has already forged relationships with other trojan players besides Baxter. Egan’s website also reveals that former trojan Jordan Campbell is a partner in the enterprise. Campbell bailed on sc when the sanctions came down, tranferring to Louisville… where the players are not under such tight scrutiny. But despite the microscope on the trojans, Egan and Campbell have apparently developed “friendships” with several trojans who are looking for representation.

If the NCAA lets this go, even though usc is already on Probation, what is the point of Probation? For crying out loud, Agents are driving around campus fraternizing with players, in vehicles clearly marked as belonging to Agents? WTF! WTF! WTF! Isn’t this EXACTLY the kind of behavior that the NCAA specifically told sc to stop? If the NCAA can get any proof that any trojan players actually entered into even a verbal agreement with First Round, they would have no choice but to ban usc from Television, or to issue the dreaded Death Penalty. It could finally be time for the sc Football Program to be SHUT DOWN for a couple of years.

Baxter has already been in trouble with the NCAA, for lying about being illegally contacted by 5 other schools, about transferring after the sanctions were announced. It turns out that NOBODY ever contacted him, and he and usc had to issue apologies. But before he apologized, when the investigation was still underway, he said that he lost his phone, and thus, the evidence that backed up his spurious claim. Is this guy totally full of it, or what? And now the NCAA is going to believe him when he claims that he didn’t know the guy driving the Agency Cart was an Agent? Baxter also was suspended earlier in the year, for some other mysterious allegation, supposedly missing class. He admitted that he wasn’t taking usc seriously, and would try to do better… all while securing an Agent to get him drafted??

The way the trojans played on Saturday night, NONE of them deserve to be drafted. Usc lost for the 5th straight time in the State of Oregon, falling to the lowly Beavers 36-7. Oregon State, who was coming off consecutive losses to Washington State and UCLA (!), had no trouble whatsoever dispatching troy. They took a 20-to-zip lead into Halftime, expanded it to 23-0, and poured it on to win by 29. QB Ryan Katz’s surgical strikes and Jacquizz Rodgers’ shifty running both exposed Monte Kiffin’s porous Defense. To add injury to insult, sc QB Matt Barkley suffered a high ankle sprain at the end of the first half, and did not return to the game. He was on the sidelines, though, to watch the carnage, on crutches and wearing a protective walking boot.

Mitch Mustain filled in, and looked nothing like the stud Freshman that he was when he played for Arkansas and won all 8 of the games he started (I think). He looked much more like a Bruin QB, missing target after target, and getting sacked and fumbling away any chance sc had to come back. But Barkley’s injury wasn’t sc’s reason for losing — They sucked just as bad with Barkley, not scoring a single point in 30 minutes of play. And that’s despite getting several bogus calls in their favor. But Head Coach Lane Kiffin’s play-calling was SO bad, there was nothing the players could do to make it work. Calls like handing off to Fullback Stanley Havili on 2nd and 20, and running a Draw play on 3rd and 20 — while stud Wide Receivers Ronald Johnson and Robert Woods cruised downfield wide open — just didn’t make any sense. The ABC announcers were dumbfounded by Kiffin’s “scared” gameplan. You would swear that Norm Chow had returned to troy, with his recent tendencies, not his old, successful ones. The trojans failed on 4th Downs, and threw passes on 3rd Downs that were short of the 1st Down markers. And trust me, it wasn’t because Dillon Baxter wasn’t there.

The trojans will surely — and deservedly — fall out of the AP Rankings, never to return. How could they: Only two horrible teams remain on their schedule. Even with Mustain at the helm, sc SHOULD be huge Favorites over Notre Dame and UCLA. Even though sc truly sucks, they don’t suck nearly as bad as their two rivals do.

So while you are reading all this trojan-bashing, don’t think even for a minute that I’m saying that UCLA will beat them… unless the Bruins get a change of venue, and play the Big Game in Corvallis… OR, if the trojan Football Season is immediately CANCELLED, thanks to all their players having already signed up with sleazy Agents.

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Now, in honor of all the Disney references in today’s article, here are 23 photos of the UCLA Spirit Squad, many dressed as Disney Princesses like Pocahontas, Belle, Snow White, Tinkerbell, Jasmine, Cinderella, and Alice in Wonderland.