Archive for the Courtney Cox Category

Courtney Cox was the cast member of Friends you didn’t masturbate to and now she’s 50 and you still won’t masturbate to her…even when she squeezes her fat 50 year old ass and all it’s dried up menopausal glory into a bikini bottom, unless of course…that’s what you’re into…a celebrity with too much money who has defied the natural aging process where she can declare 50 is the new 30 thanks to botox, a personal chef and a personal trainer who is working me everyday since I have nothing else going on – but I do have all this money..

So happy fucking birthday you old hag…who looks better than obese 20 year olds I’ve fucked, but in their defence, one was albino, the other downs and the third was wheel chair bound…because Diabetes ate her toes.

This is freaking me the fuck out…and you have to understand that I don’t fear skinny girls…if anything I support and endorse fitness/starvation / anything so that you don’t end up fat…but there comes a time where I guess being skinny is flawed, and as much as I hate admitting that…cuz LI love skin and bones…this fucking Spine is the shit nightmares are fucking made of…seriously…straight out of a horror movie….I don’t know what the cause of this is…but shit does not look fucking normal…and all I can think is how disturbing fucking her from behind would be…staring at that like it was an Alien creature ready to rip your fucking dick off…

I find this really fucking WEIRD….and I have fucked some really fucking weird, questionable things, but on the positive side of things…her ass isn’t bad for a 50 year old mom….so if you focus on that…it’s almost as though that freakish back isn’t there haunting the rest of her….

Courtney Cox is old. She is also the less attractive bitch from Friends, 15 years later, more importantly, she is a victim of “I can’t believe this bitch had sex with that man enough to make babies and get married”….onee of those “I can’t see past her sexual history no matter how hard I try”…cuz sure she has no standards, but you can’t slot me in with David Arquette’s sloppy seconds eater….if you know what I mean….not to mention she’s old….making for a real unfortunate state of affairs…the only thing going for her is that she’s rich, not fat, and will never be alone for those reasons alone….even if she’s old…cuz there’s always a younger gold digger willing to get up on an old sitcom fetish…like her boyfriend co-star who posted these pics of her on twitter….spotting opportunity and jumping it…possibly cumming inside of it…hoping it isn’ t already menopausal….

Sometimes, even when a bitch is better off retiring….fading into obscurity with her circus clown husband, because even though she tries to be fit, and still has sloppy inner thighs, cuz that’s what happesn to old bitches, I can appreciate her showing off her panty upskirt like she was an up and coming star trying to get noticed, or more likely, an old washed up star who doesn’t give a fuck anymore…

Here is some Courtney Cox mom nipple that looks like it is a small implant cuz she knew that her show involved her in a bikini and she had to do something about the sloppy empty milk sacs that Arquette needed to escape, even though he’s David Arquette, the guy every girl is humiliated to have ever had sex with, unless they are in their 20s, using his money and using him for show and tell at the frat parties….or if they are Courtney Cox and get knocked up and try to make a family with him….in some kind of really fucking weird way…I mean I’ve been dumped by shitty girls, but I was always shittier and knew it, where this Cox thing just doesn’t add up….

Either way, here’s her nipple…and reminder that the ocean and their waves are our friend….unless you’re Japan….FOLLOW ME

Here’s Courtney Cox on set in a bikini, cuz TV doesn’t find mom’s in a bikini inappropriate, but I do.

Nothing like a mom body in a bikini to encourage us to get married, knock a bitch up, only to leave her and spend your money on young groupie pussy, until you realize that you can’t keep up with young groupie pussy, and that all they want is for you to be a dancing monkey novelty act they show off to their friends at their college parties all while spending your Scream 1 through 3 money, that you don’t mind them spending until their tighter than your wife’s pussy gets boring and you get tired, making you crawl back to the familar menopausal vagina, tell her that you miss her and the kid, and that you want your old life back, blaming a midlife crisis and jealous about her and her costar from TV, only for all this to be a thing of the fucking past….Right?….FOLLOW ME

I stand by yesterday’s Courtney Cox Bikini post where I said she looks like shit cuz “she looks good for 45″ doesn’t really work for me because good for 40 isn’t the same as good for 20 and just because she has that handicap against her doesn’t mean she gets extra points…

That’s not to say I wouldn’t taste her from the inside, It’s just to say if I was David Arquette, I’d escape this to be some novelty act to 20 year olds who have seen Scream with their tight vaginas, only to come crawling back, begging for my family back, blaming a midlife crisis while holding the happiness of our child as the beacon of hope to get her back, when I was tired of whoring myself out footing the bill and saying catch phrases or answering questions about Jennifer Aniston….

I don’t know if thes epics are old or new…I try no to look at these things too closely, you know like staring at the sun, I’m scared I’ll go blind…

If I was David Arquette – and thank god I’m not – I would have got rid of Courtney Cox too…at least based on these bikini pics – cuz she’s old, tred and the collagen’s not holding up her ass the way it used to. Maybe it’s the pregnancies…maybe it’s laziness…maybe it’s just straight up aging..but whatever it is…it’s disgusting…

I know what’ you’re thinking – that I’m an idiot and that she looks great for 40…but that’s exactly my point…thanks for proving what I so gracefully failed at getting across, great for 40 isn’t great for 20 and if you don’t have to be stuck with that shit and you can go for the 20 year olds cuz you were that guy in Scream…you sure as hell better…cuz you only live once….and it preferable to be done with a hot box full of youthful joy and a willingness to spend your money and treat you like the best show and tell presentation…than be in the shadow of some bitter, old, cunt…even if Arquette is pulling some pussy shit and trying to crawl back to Courtney Cox cuz he ran out of money and was tired of being some tween’s dancing monkey financier in exchange for un-weathered pussy or some shit…kinda defeating the whole point of this post…..

I’m so insightful. I wonder why I don’t have a show on Oprah’s new network…

I was out wandering the streets most of the day. It’s pretty amazing what kind of other lowlives you can meet if you put yourself out there. Whether it was some toothless dude I call Jim, or some fake British dude who was preaching about his Oxford education despite smelling like raw sewage, or a guy from Iran who pretended he was Andre Agassi’s brother, with one solid thing in common, a love for booze and talkin’ about pussy….

So I may have been a little slow on addressing these Courtney Cox recently divorced and lookin’ for new cock in a white bikini to draw more attention to her recently divorced self, all while her face awkwardly botoxed and morphed into Teri Hatcher.

Luckily for her, older ladies are my fetish for the day, especially when half naked, even if they spent the majority of their adult life fucking a clown.

I am not sure if this is supposed to be funny. I am not even sure if David Arquette is still famous or if anyone knows who he is other than people who have seen Scream, I just know this is a furries fetish in the mainstream and I haven’t seen Furries porn in years….but I guess that’s because I’m not married to a monster like Courtney Cox, who although has fame I need to stay relevant, looks better dressed up as a sports mascot….

Either way, this is for some Domestic Dispute bullshit, Courtney Cox looks like hell, making me think that whatever she did to her face is the real crime against women.

Just be happy this video wasn’t staring Alexis Arquette…cuz that woulda taken on a whole new level of weird, not funny and borderline traumatic…

This whole thing is WAY too funny or die for me…seriously garbage and I am only posting it because I care about battered women finding a new safehaven on my dick…mainly because I like the way they cringe when I lift my hand to them…

Here are some really boring pictures of Courtney Cox at a beach party that looks staged, which I guess means she gets work other than the Scream movies that found her an awkward husband….she wasn’t wearing a bikini, which is probably a good thing, because she’s so fucking old, but instead picked up a guitar like some kind of tree hugging lesbian singing about the environment or using menstrual cups or someshit….and as far as I’m concerned shit is really only a beach party if a bitch in a bikini gets too drunk for her own good and disappears with some strange man, never to be found again….

Here are some pictures of Courtny Cox comparing David Arquette’s little dick to his tranny brother’s huge dick once the pantyhose and duct tape come off, cuz we all know she’s had both, those Arquettes are fuckin’ weird and shes’d doing it all while wearing a little skirt that is really not exciting to me. Mainly because she’s always looked like a fuckin’ skeleton to me and watching her play tennis is not like watching Kournikova or Sharapova yelping and moaning flashing ass, and is more on the level of erotic as that big Williams sister….and I don’t have any idea why I’m bothering writing about this bitch, it just kinda happened and I’d apologize for this if I really cared about what you had to say….but I don’t because I already hate myself and nothing you could say will bring me any lower *tear* or maybe it’s because you’re not one to take seriously…either way, here’s Courtney Cox and a post littered with really weak fucking jokes….it happens…

I was having a debate with myself last night, because no one else was around to talk to , and even the people who were around like the bartender were more interested in tryin to get me to leave their bar, than talking to me about whether a bitch is ever too old to wear a bikini, especially a white one that when wet turns see thru….

The rational side of me that knows older women aren’t hot to look at naked and would rather not see an older chick naked, but the man in me, who makes an appearance sometimes, can’t help but think no matter what age a girl is, whether 16 or 90, she should be out there half naked every chance she gets. Not only does it make for more interesting scenery, but it also makes for easier public masturbation, because when there’s no hot young pussy on the beach because they are all in school or some shit, you’d rather have decent older pussy, or even disgusting older pussy in a bikini, than nothing. It makes your trip worthwhile.

So in conclusion, I have decided that you are never too old to wear a white bikini or any bikini for that matter, no matter how sloppy your ass is, no matter how plump your gunt is, no matter how saggy your tits is, because sometimes it’s better than nothing, most of the time it is pretty entertaining…..and in Courtney Cox’s case, a lot more entertaining than her career.

Courtney Cox was running around on the set of some show she is starring in called “Friends The Single and HormonalYears” or some shit. She flashed some panty and that’s where the story ends. I guess you’d want me to tell my story about the 80s, when I first started discovering my sexuality and spent a solid week jerking off in a pair of my foster mother’s dirty panties, that were usually white, a little stained, and made my dick look awesome, but I’m not going to bother, because it’s just weird.

Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox trying to reclaim her youth by surfing and pretty much only embarrassing herself. I guess the one positive thing you can say about her, other than the fact that she’s got an old lady mom ass, because she’s an old lady and I am so over hot tight teen booty, is that she’s not being a cunt about things by paddle surfing like her best friend ever Jennifer Aniston, because she realizes that that shit is so fucking homo that I am considering changing my DJ AM is gayer than bicycle shorts line to DJ AM is gayer than paddle-surfing, but you don’t care about that.

What you do care about is this girl I once dated for about 8 weeks. She was pretty fucking hot by my standards, which means that she had at least one leg, one arm, one eye and one tooth, but that’s no the point…We hooked up drunk for about a week but she’d always stop me at the panties. I felt like I was 14 again and bitch was pulling the panty-rule on me which at first was kind of exciting because I made a point of breaking down that cotton wall, and put more effort into getting her horny enough to give in. I will admit that I found it weird for a 50 year old broad to be pulling this shit on me but it doesn’t matter, after a week of not breaking through, I got mad and wanted to fuck her saggy old lady ass and she said it was because she got her period.

Now the main reason I was banging this grandma was because I figured she was dried up and unable to get knocked up, unable to get her period which suited my needs when I was 24 of no baby and constant sex as long as I had a tube of KY next to the bed, but she dropped the fucking period line, something I never thought I’d have to deal with with her….

Now for the 8 weeks we were “seeing each other”, I never got up in her because she always had a tampon in her, and I never pulled it out to see if it was actually used. So either this bitch had a serious gynecological problem and was bleeding for 8 weeks, or she was a total mental case who had some weird OCD about keeping tampons in her or the most likely case it was her way of keeping me the fuck out….and it worked.

I wish I could say the same for Courtney Cox, but the way she’s lookin’ at me in these pictures, I know she wants me…