I was tagged by Sarah at champagnepetals.com to list ten things which made me Happy. I am sure mine aren’t too different or unique to many people; family, friends, travel, sleep. So I have decided to list ten things about my Daughter which make me so happy. She does many many things. From her incredible smile, hearing her cheeky laugh, her sloppy kisses and great big hugs. I wanted to create a memory, of the first ten things I think of in this exact moment in time.

When she displays kindness towards others, be that helping up a child who’s fallen on the bouncy castle, cuddling someone she had identified as sad, or patting a baby whilst saying ‘awww cute’. My heart swells with pride and happiness.

When she is fearless, which is almost always. She bulldozers into new situations, she climbs up the very tallest slide, she goes at life like she’s never tripped or been hurt.

Her energy and strength. I believe it’s why she is as healthy as she has grown to be. I know I complain often that she is non stop, demanding and exhausting. But I equally love her drive. Why walk when you can run must be her mantra, and she applies such energy, determination and enthusiasm to all things.

Witnessing her exploration of language. Day on day she is mastering new phrases, sentences, and is sounding clearer and clearer. It makes me so happy to see her figuring it out, and discovering how much words and language can open up the world to her.

Seeing her play independently makes me happy-not just because it gives me a moment to myself. I am a helicopter parent by nature, and as a hangover from my hospital days. She has recently started initiating her own play, and I adore watching her do her thing, listen to the little conversations, and watch her figure it out herself.

When she spontaneously runs up for a hug, and says ‘awwww maaaameeee”, or puckers up for a kiss, it makes me feel like the most special and fortunate person on the planet.

When she sleeps, surely every parents feels that relief right? We have always had to work pretty hard to get her off to sleep, so it always feels like an achievement. But she also looks like the most angelic thing in the world when she sleeps, which makes me very happy, and means usually all the bedtime battles are forgotten.

The way she behaves towards the people I love. From her incredible bond with her Grandparents, to her excitement at seeing my friends. Her obsession with her youngest cousins, or her adoration of ‘baby t’. Seeing her interact with those people really warms my heart.

That she is her own person, so much so. Whilst it has been difficult at time to try and Parent this person who seems so different to both myself and my husband. And has never conformed to anything the books have suggested she should. But I admire the strength of character she has displayed from day one, and the force of nature she continues to be.

What she has given me, the opportunity to be her Mother. To experience a love like no other. To learn I have strength I never knew, and exceed limits I hadn’t realised existed. her very existence pushes me to be better, to learn, and to grow.

I kept a Pregnancy Journal (and it bothers me to this day that the third trimester is almost empty because we missed most of it! OCD much?). One section has a list of questions for either Parents and then you can compare your answers. Things like ‘when will the baby be born?’ (we both were well out on that one), and ‘what feature of your Partner would you most like them to have?’ (not sure we managed that one either). Another question was ‘what would you like them to be when they grow up?’, Intrepid Papa and I answered the same thing; we wanted our unborn baby to be happy.

At the time, I must admit I was quite proud of us both. We weren’t going to be pushy Parents with aspirations for our little girl to become a Doctor, or Lawyer. Nor were we piling on pressures that she should be rich, or famous. We were focusing on what really matters in life, I gave myself and my Husband a mental ‘pat on the back’. However, I have reflected on this answer often since she was born two years ago, and I’d like to change my response.

To become a Doctor or Lawyer, she can study hard, commit, and take her exams, then she will wake up every morning a Doctor or Lawyer. By the time she’s grown up I am sure there’ll be all sorts of Careers which don’t even exist yet, which she could pursue for financial success. And to be famous I just need to film her opening Kinder Eggs and put it on youtube right? But to ask of her to be happy all her life? Well that’s asking the impossible.

Of course we can wish her to experience lots of joy, and many happy moment, but if the Pixar film “Inside Out” has taught us nothing (yes I learn all my life lessons from Kid’s Movies-if you have not seen this one you need to!), it’s that you need the rough with the smooth. If she came out with some extra gene which caused her to be perpetually happy, it would no longer be defined as happy. Happy is about the highs, and it needs the middles and the lows to exist.

Of course I hope so much that my Daughter will experience a life free from Mental illness, (but with it touching 1/3 of us, it’s possibly another unrealistic hope), but say she did suffer from chronic Clinical Depression-would she have failed me in anyway? Of course not.

So I would like to petition to alter my answer: When my Daughter grows up, I would like her to live a life filled with gratitude, to feel truly adored, and to truly adore in return, to enjoy the highs with all she’s got, and accept the support and have the wisdom to navigate the lows. And to know there is nothing she can ever do to make her Parents stop loving her.