College girl: Whenever I tell anyone that I was there when you dislocated your shoulder they ask if it’s my fault ’cause we were having sex.20-ish guy: Hahaha! Yeah, me, too. I had one guy ask me, ‘Did it happen while you were [pelvic thrusts] uh, uh, uh?’College girl, excitedly: That’s exactly what my dad said!

Middle-aged woman: I think her name was something like… Something like Charlemagne.Barnard girl: You mean Chante?Middle-aged woman: I was close! I was close!Barnard girl: Yeah, I think Charlemagne was someone completely different.