Comfort

This past school year, a 35 year old mother sat in the same piano class with her preschool daughter as I did with my son. I didn’t know the mother very well, but she seemed to have a calm and kind spirit, and I was always blessed by the bubbly joy that emanated from her little girl.

About 6 weeks ago, we learned that this mother had begun experiencing severe migraines. Four malignant tumors appeared on her brain, and she’d been given 4 to 8 weeks to live. Apparently, she had been diagnosed 4 years ago with terminal cancer, but she shared with very few people, as she didn’t want the cancer to “define” her. She felt that God had called her to “live her life fully,” and after her cancer treatments, she enjoyed a year and a half of “feeling normal” (enjoying life as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, worship leader, and missionary) before the cancer fatally spread.

Having lost our daughter to SIDS several years ago I have had countless opportunities to talk with other families who have also experienced the same loss. God has allowed my heartache to be a springboard that has allowed me to counsel other Mother’s who are walking through the deep grief that follows loosing a child. After our daughter died from SIDS in 1997 I felt like my life had shattered right before my very eyes. I lost my way. I needed someone to come alongside and share with me truth – a counselor. As the years have passed and God has healed my heart; He has placed within me a burden to be a counselor to those who are grieving and hurting.

We had loaded the family into the van and were heading up for a hike at a nearby mountain here in North Carolina. Our youngest daughter had been so excited about hiking and had chattered about it all day long as we prepared for the time when Daddy would get home from work and we would go on our adventure.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Perhaps this is my favorite verse in scripture. I can not say that for certain because I have so many ‘favorites’. What I do know is that there is no other verse or passage in the Bible that I have turned to more and claimed more during a time of trial than this particular verse.

I want to take a blog post and introduce myself. It is significant to me that my ministry here with SIDS America is officially beginning this week. This is the week my life changed forever, fifteen years ago - today. God has been preparing me for this ministry long before that sad Saturday morning.

Holidays can be so difficult for grieving families. Festive cheer surrounds us, yet for those grieving such devastating loss, it can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness. Grieving families may not feel like celebrating, and others may or may not understand. The absence of our babies looms heavily over us, and we can hardly find reason to be joyful at a time that causes such deep pain.

At Christmas time our thoughts turn to family. The festivities and the nostalgia of Christmas causes us to remember memories of the past. If your family life has been affected by SIDS, undoubtedly some of your memories this Christmas will be sad; and you may find this holiday season incredibly hard.Handling the holidays while grieving can be a challenge especially if your baby has died within the past three years. So, how does a grieving parent cope with the added stress of the holidays while they are still grieving the loss of their baby? Here are a few tips that may help you during this time of year.

Our Heavenly Father knows what it best for us. He knows our makeup and understands our humanity. Part of our makeup is to forget to see the good things in life. This is especially true during times of crisis. It is easy when life has thrown us a curve ball to only see life through a negative viewpoint.

This post is written by Martie Spurgeon, gifted writer and mother of 6. Her daughter Ally died of SIDS on December 13, 1997. Be blessed by Martie's hope-filled and encouraging words, birthed out of her own grieved-yet healing- heart.

Psalm 116:15 – “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.”

How different are our views of death compared to God’s thoughts on the subject. To us, death of a loved one is something that is dreaded, feared and we are left many questions of how their death could have been avoided or prevented. This is especially true when it was one of our dear little children. How deep the pain! How comforting to know that God views death in a completely different way.