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Sometimes, if you take a step back from the world, you can start to notice the flaws we have as humans. One of the main flaws I’m noticing at the minute is that people just don’t take the time to talk to each other. The most basic thing humans can do, and we don’t do it. We’ve become a world of meaningless words. The things that people actually say, don’t really matter deep down. And the words that are left unsaid mean more than anyone shall ever know. People can see someone everyday and never really know what’s going on in their lives, even to the point where they spend everyday sleeping in the same bed.

There’s been a lot of loss in the world around me lately, and it makes me wonder whether just taking the time to talk about things that actually matter…could have prevented these outcomes to some extent. Of course not everything can be resolved from opening up to someone, but you never know. Technology is a big thing in our day and age, and it kind of works as a way to fill the gaps between human encounters, to the point where it can block them from actually happening all together. To be quite honest, it’s shit and even that is slightly sugar-coating it.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post. I guess what I’m really trying to do is get whoever’s reading this to take time out of their day to really talk to someone who they’re close to or they care about, and try to get past the bullshit of the facade that they are trying to hide behind. Although not everyone likes to admit it or complain about it, they all have something going on behind the scenes…or if your on the flip side of it, just open up to someone about how your really feeling…who knows, you might actually get a positive outcome…

I know I did a blog about babies the other day so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I already have a a family and they are brilliant. Always there when I need them, always supportive even when I mess up. Yeah I would like ‘a family of my own’ one day but right now I’m just focusing on the family I have, and that’s how it should be 😁.

Overall I try not to think of my fears. Partly because I’m trying to just live my life and partly because I don’t want to have a random panic attack by over thinking. But if I was to choose one thing I really fear. I honestly think it would be the fear of not being able to have children.

There’s two reasons why I fear this. The first one being infertility. From what I know there are no real problems of infertility in my family. But you never know do you. I mean what if contraception can have a lasting effect to some degree. They say that once you come off contraception, your fertility state will go to what it is meant to be…(Notice how they don’t say, to what it was before you started contraception, as if it will go to whatever fate chooses it to be). So I mean that’s a bit of a worry. But I’ve always seen the whole process of being pregnant and having your own baby as an amazing experience, hard I know…but I’d hate the thought of not being able to conceive.

The second reason I worry about this is because of my lack of partner. When people lay out their life plan they normally want to find a partner, be with them for a few years, get married, have time to themselves for a few more years and then think about having a baby…then if you want more than one, leave a couple of years before trying for another. I’m 23 (not that old I know, but) whenever I hear people talking about the problems that can occur in pregnancy as the person gets older, the age of that person seems to get younger and younger. I always thought the age problems started was 40…now people are saying they can start at 30. I know everyone’s different and it’s just a case that the chance of problems increase…it can still scare the shiz out of you. Especially when your already 23.

I know this is probably just me being a woman and over thinking it, but it is serious stuff. Especially when you know at some point you do want kids. Ok time to stop thinking about it before I freak out!

*There’s a lot of people in this world who choose to only go skin deep*

I don’t have a lot of friends, as sad as that may sound. The ones I do have, have lives and I get that. But when you step back and realise that no one really knows you…you’ve got to admit that’s a bit sad aha. On the outside I’m a happy character. Working with customers you seem to build up a wall, a character to some extent…after all who wants to buy anything from someone who looks like they don’t want to be there. But I’m so tired of it. I know I’m selfish to some extent, I’ll ask someone how they are and if they say they’re fine…I’ll probably just reply good. But it sucks. In this society it’s as if we’re all on auto pilot, when really it’s the people in this world that makes it worth living, if you just take time to pay attention.

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

Ok so you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for a while, and there is a reason for this. Maybe not a great reason…but a reason none the less. That reason is that I’m trying to figure out what I want from life right now.

Being a 22 year old with no relationship and no real career can be a bit confusing. I have never been career minded. I’d have loved to have been, as I’d know exactly what I wanted to do and how to achieve it…but no point in dwelling on it. I have thought about it briefly before but I’ve never had a real wake up call until the other day, when I found out I might be losing my job (through no fault of my own I may add).

It has come to the time where my boss has decided he needs to make a change in the business. That change being he needs a full time supervisor, however to accommodate that…he needs to lose someone else on full time hours i.e: me. Now this may seem simple, I’m losing my job…find another one. But It’s not as simple as that…he doesn’t know when this will happen, as he still needs to find the full time supervisor. So my days seem limited there… I just don’t know how much time I have. I’m in no way angry with my boss, because after all you have to do what you need to for the sake of your business but anyway this lead me to the following thoughts…

I am 22. No significant other. No flat. And soon to be no job. The world is my oyster as they say…so what to do? I could find another job near my home, one with good hours, a good wage…which would then lead to me probably getting a flat, and maybe eventually a partner. OR I could think of this as a escape. With no real ties here (other than my family of course) I could leave the country for a bit. Get a job abroad and travel the world a bit, like I had planned to. I mean if I’m going to do it eventually, why not now? What’s stopping me? Providing I can figure out a way to either keep my car or end my finance on it I could go.

It’s just a big decision to make. A lot of things to take into consideration, but plenty of potential to finally do something that I will love. So that’s where I am right now. Just an update I guess, and to empty my head for a bit…

You know how sometimes when your daydreaming, you slip into a deep place right in the back of your mind. For example the time I was looking at the ants on the floor and It spiralled into a thought that maybe we are just like ants. And as I’m looking down on them now, there’s people/things looking down on us…a bit like a mirror in a mirror, creating a continuous image getting smaller and smaller. So basically I was thinking about a higher intelligence (like aliens) which I know is possible but it’s also completely random for a Tuesday afternoon…I guess that’s what work does to us.

Anyway, so this was one of those times…only this time I was thinking about balls. Guys balls to be exact or testicles if you will. So getting to the point. I was thinking to myself, if guys have two balls…why aren’t they in individual bags? To which my brain then replied…’maybe they didn’t offer them two at the checkout’.

Yeaaahhhh I know, It’s bad. Shockingly bad. But I love them kind of jokes, dad jokes I call them. The wit I got from my dad of course didn’t help my cause. But you know I’ve come out a great person with a quick wit…even if like I say it is bad. So yeah that’s the joke I made. Copyright Natalie Oram. ✌🏼️

If you would like to share my joke to any of your male friends or family I have set up a scenario and wording for the joke below.

Scenario: Lazing around on anyway of the week with said male friend/family.

Hey Ted…If guys have two balls…why is there only one bag?..Did they not offer you two at the checkout? Ba dum bum chush.

Ok let’s rewind a second. So…Twitter was created in 2006 (a long time ago right), however saying this…it wasn’t until 2012 it actually started to become extremely popular. Now we’ve just headed into 2016, and me a 22 year old woman, still doesn’t really understand it.

I mean of course I get the basic’s like how to post, how to follow people, retweet and favourite. BUT what I don’t understand is how I actually use it and only have 112 followers. But then on the other hand, there’s my sister who doesn’t post anything and has 851 followers…I mean how? How does that happen? I just don’t understand the logic behind how it works…anyway I’ll keep trying. Social media just confuses me sometimes…