Monday, March 13, 2017

Trend Watch: People Now Riding Bikes With Large Tires

PORTLAND, Me. — Gone are the days when cyclists had to put their bikes away for the winter. These days, hard-core riders are staying outdoors year round thanks to “fat bikes” that allow them to conquer winter's worst instead of staying indoors on a stationary bike.

Yes, according to the Associated Press Style Book, "fat bikes" must be rendered in quotes until the 10,000th article is published about them:

This is why the knuckle tattoo trend no longer has to be rendered in quotes, but the "air quote tattoo" trend does--though strictly speaking it should be rendered "'air quote' tattoo," which will surely be the undoing of many a copy editor.

It's even more complicated if you want to add "irony punctuation," in which case it's "'"air quote"' tattoo"...I think.

Or we could all just accept the fact we're living in a post-grammatical society and surrender to emojis:

I'm old enough that the first thing I think of when I see this is blotter acid.

Anyway, if you want to know what makes a "fat bike" a "'fat bike'" it's the "comically large tires:"

The bikes, with comically large tires, have come into the mainstream in the past couple of years, after having been introduced about a decade ago.

It's certainly true that "fat bike" tires do look cartoonish, but if you adjust for brainwashing it's really the rest of America that's riding around on "comically large tires" thanks to our obsession with SUVs:

See, in America we like motor vehicles that can cross rocky stream beds (at least in advertisements) but can't make it through a tiny city without wreaking havoc.

The article then quotes a "fat bike" enthusiast:

John Grondin, 48, of Scarborough, Me., got his fat bike to kick the winter blues.“I wanted to get outside and ride in the winter,” he said. “I like to ride, period. I'll ride a road bike. I'll ride a mountain bike. I just want to ride.”"

I'm getting the sense he likes to ride.

By the way, another good way to kick the winter blues is to not live in Maine.

The article then goes on to make the stupendous claim that "fat bikes" are the first major cycling trend since the 1980s:

Fat bikes represent the first major bicycle trend in several decades, after BMX bikes in the 1970s and conventional mountain bikes in the 1980s, said Jay Townley, partner in Gluskin-Townley Group, a Pennsylvania consultant and market research company focusing on the bicycle business.

Um, what am I, chopped liver???

Jay Townley clearly slept through the fixie craze of the early 21st century (not to mention the Lance Amstrong-driven road bike boom that preceded it), and for that I envy him.

Nevertheless, these "fat bikes" are now big business:

The NPD Group, which tracks retail sales of bikes in the United States, reports that fat-tire bike sales have grown eightfold in the past three years, to $74.7 million in 2016.

If we assume the average "fat bike" costs $1,000 that means there are currently 74,700 "fat bikes" out there rolling around on comically large tires. And since every one of those bikes will need two (2) new comically large (and therefore comically expensive) tires eventually then it seems to me that's the business you want to be in--which is why I'm pleased to announce my new online retail venture:

(Al Hartmann | The Salt Lake Tribune) Debra Banks, a hand crafted saddle manufacturer for Rivet Cycle Works, left, checks out a one of a kind "Big Bamboo Bike" made by Craig Calfee of Calfee Designs out of Santa Cruz, CA. at the 2017 North American Handmade Bicycle Show at the Salt Palace Convention Center on Friday. This model is an electric bike made of a bamboo including the wheel spokes. The battery is inside the large tube. He makes several more coventional design custom bicycles using bamboo frames. It's the largest and oldest handbuilt bicycle show in the world where ideas and innovation come together to promote custom bicycles and the companies that support the market. It is the show's first time in Utah. The event runs through Sunday.

Presumably the sustainable and environmentally-friendly bamboo is meant to offset the electric drivetrain, which requires lithium mining, as well as the leather saddle, which requires resource-intensive cattle whose flatulence contributes to global warming--sort of like how I ride to the big-box store on a bicycle to pick up my planet-destroying disposable diapers and paper towels:

I'm thinking that maybe if I add some bamboo veneer to the WorkCycles I can also get a pass on sorting my refuse when I eat at Whole Foods.

Anyway, obviously I didn't go to NAHBS this year, but I feel pretty confident in saying that it was exactly like every other NAHBS except there were more disc brakes:

61 comments:

220. Suppose you asked leftists to make a list of ALL the things that were wrong with society, and then suppose you instituted EVERY social change that they demanded. It is safe to say that within a couple of years the majority of leftists would find something new to complain about, some new social “evil” to correct because, once again, the leftist is motivated less by distress at society’s ills than by the need to satisfy his drive for power by imposing his solutions on society

Noob question: I get that "Ted K." is a reference to the unabomber, and the paragraphs I guess are extracts from his scribblings, but what's the story? Who made a bot to post these things on a cycling blog? Why? Do other blogs get the same treatment?

That stupid "article" didn't pick up on "dick breaks" as a bikecyclin' "innovation"? Also, between "mountain bikes" in the 80s and "fat bikes" currently, there was another bike "trend" that had a tiny bit of notice: "Crabon Fibre". Also, lettuce knot forget: "supple" tires. I don't know how much of an "innovation" they are, but I like everything in my life to be as "supple" as possible.

This "comment" was jammed as full of "quote" "marks" as I could "reasonably" stand to "do". Some were "ironic"* and some were merely "obnoxious". I "hope" they were "sufficient".

Am I the only person who has noticed that Ms. Babble uses the words suck and sucks numerous times? A little oral fixation, or maybe a big oral fixation? All good and well, keep up that good work Ms. B.

I went to the NAHBS becuase it happened to be in the city in which I dwell. It was pretty cool. Your friends from Brooks were there. I asked the guy manning the Brooks booth about Eric 'the chamferer' Murray and whether or not he flenses people who cross him. He had no idea what I was talking about, but I am afraid I may now be on Eric 'the chamferer' Murray's hit list.

...Ted K is non other than that joker from a couple of years ago right here on the commentariat. I forget his handle... buttface, or something like that... he liked to call out Snob's tiller effect or something... he had issues with his mommy, and he would rant so long that he started thinking he was actually blogging. Then he disappeared, and another character showed up. It was him posing... and now he found the unibomber's drivel... though I don't think he's smart enough to use a bot... I think he's living in his mommy's basement and all he does is click refresh on his browser to post on the pod.

...the best thing to do is ignore him... same you would do when seeing a fatbike in warm climate.

No NAHBS coverage, no Spring Classics coverage, no roadie bike, and I'm bummed. Did you read about Steve Tilford's cracked skull on Steve Tilford's blog? He still won't wear a helmet all the time either.

Speaking of blotter acid; Patrick Stewart portrays the "poop" emoji in the new Hollywood film "Emojis".

As for the act of blotting; paper diapers make a lot of sense, but paper towels do not. Old tee shirts and old towels are worthy of consideration to replace paper towels. You might consider buying cheap kitchen towels or cloth rags in the automotive section of that big box store, to use instead of paper towels. Toss them in the washing machine when they need to be refreshed.

Serial Retrogrouch - Do you really think Ted K. is the commentator who shall not not be named. I am glad that the commentator who shall not not be named stopped posting, but I think he's too big of a narcissist to quietly lurk and post under the Ted K. moniker. I could be wrong, however.

Hi y'all, this here's 7 time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. I'm working in conjunction with the Trump administration to start an American cycling federation where doping will be a prerequisite. Donny feels that all sports, much like sex, should have performance enhancements. The podium will feature only the best women from Miss Universe competitions. Also, it's for white Christian men only. It's gonna be great.

The idea of "quote dick brakes" is more stopping power I assume, if so then I want the rear to do my stopping and the front to throw sparks or smoke or do something crazy for everyone to see. Cause one I'm cool like that and two to hopefully cover up up the fact that I own "dick squealers". And for those who think this is some type of race, making comments, then I say car back.

HA!! Yes indeed. Y'see? My maths really DO suck. And I hadn't even started doping at that early hour, either. But hey, I'm Kanuckistanian, and we use imperial dollars, or SAE dollars, or something. So there must be an excuse hiding in there somewhere. Wow. It's incredible that my first son has worked his way through nearly two science degrees now, given that he came through me, and shares my DNA n'all. Dunno how THAT happened. It makes me so happy to have actually co-created two great guys, given the odds against it.

Heh. I DO suck at a lot of things, though, so there you go. I'm a really, really good sucker, in fact, and I'm ok with that.

Um, as to he who must not be named, my inner know it all hates keeping mum, and I happen to knwo that he is definitely not ted. And he tried lurking and leaving anonynonymous comments, after snobberdiddums shut him down, but our astute host had is number and always deleted his contributions, so eventually he gave up. I expect he's still around, however.

hey Drock, I think you've got a kickstarter there: disk brake for stopping, plus a redundant flint-where-the-brake-pads-should-be rim brake for sparks... besides shredding rims like Snob shreds paper towels (hey I ain't judging!) what could go wrong? And when did that stop a great kickstarter anyway?

And since I'm posting: here's a rad discussion about your question, Non-Snob... from 2011!https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/181677/

As has been said repeatedly and consistently over the decades, starting way before the internet, traction between the tires and the ground determine braking "power". If the brakes you have are capable of skidding the rear wheel wheel, and if the front brake is capable of lifting the rear rear wheel off the ground, you can not gain any more braking "power" with a different brake system.

Possibly disk brake on bicycles reduce the problem of water/mud/dirt on the wheel rim reducing brake efficiently with rim brakes, and/or add to brake "feel". Hydraulic disk brake also allow a greater mechanical advantage one cable activated brakes (not that all hydraulic brakes are set up to have a greater advantage.)

In defense of the NYT, they wrote "fat bikes" - in quotes. They wrote very clearly that people are riding "fat bikes" NOT you know, fat bikes. That spans a whole range of riding implements.If they weren't joking of course. It could all just be a literary joke about fat chicks.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!