I think it's nice to start out a new year with some resolutions. I don't know that I've ever really set any official ones, and I definitely won't be this year, but I do like the idea of January 1st being a time to reflect back and to set some intentions for the year ahead. [...]

Photo by Juja Han on Unsplash What a year it's been at PALS (Pregnancy After Loss Support)! We became a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization this summer and launched the new PALS MeetUps, all while continuing all of our other support services. We look forward to reaching even more Courageous Mamas in 2018! One of the ways we support [...]

Being pregnant during the holiday season comes with its own ups and downs. The highlights might include feeling a little freer to indulge in sweets, sharing the news (in a creative way) with family, or having extra time to take off from the normal stresses of life (and a PAL). However, some of these things [...]

It’s 3:30am. My eyes flicker open, for the 3rd time this week. I sneak a peek at the clock. Dammit, 3:30 again. What is it with this time? I lay quietly, hands on my belly, immediately waiting for the gentle nudges of a sleeping baby also turning inside me. The bit of reassurance I’ll need [...]

Tomorrow I'll officially be the most pregnant I've ever been. With my first rainbow, I hit that milestone at 35+3, and it was a definitely a tough one, because it coincided with the day we lost our daughter. Hitting 37+1 is tough in a different way - it's hard because it's the day that everyone [...]

Amulets for Nate and Sam The International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA) Conference was going to be on September 23-24th. I saw that as a sign. This was going to fall on Nate and Sam’s 10th birthday. I had been to the previous ISA conference, in Vancouver in 2015. It was so well organized and [...]

35 weeks. I’ve learned by now that this is about the time that you start thinking baby could come anytime, even though you know they need a few more weeks. So close, every kick feels like they’re working their way out, every cramp you wonder if it’s a contraction. So when Layla dropped a few [...]

They say when you lose a child, you lose not only that child, but the hopes and dreams that you held for that child. I didn’t know then just how all-encompassing those hopes and dreams would be. I realized later that I lost not only hopes and dreams we held for Layla, but I lost [...]

This last week started the routine I became so familiar with in my first rainbow pregnancy. Weekly visit to the MFM, onto the monitors, drink some ice water. I’ve learned to read the strips, I joke with the nurses – I like my new MFM’s setup, in a room with several other NST chairs and [...]

To my precious Rainbow Baby: “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain ‘Move from here to there’ and it WILL move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” – Matthew 17:20 For the past 268 days, you’ve grown from the size of a little mustard to seed [...]