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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

I have not always been a fan of mothers day. When I started having kids I had very extravagant expectations for how this day was suppose to go. I couldn't figure out why I was always going to bed upset on this special day. What was wrong with everyone? Was it really too much to ask that ONE day of the year no one fought, the house stayed clean, I didn't have to change a single diaper and I got exactly what I wanted. I mean, come on! Geesh.

So, yeah, I wasn't a fan. The weeks leading up to each Mother's Day I always prepared myself for disappointment, instead of a "wonderful day" like you see all those mothers post on FB (gag!).

As this Mother's day approached I found myself slipping into the same patterns of expecting the worse. I exchanged the same dialogue with a few people here and there...Mothers Day this and Mothers day that...blah blah blah.

But for some reason I could feel something different about the way I was thinking. I was feeling a little uncomfortable with what I was saying and thinking about this special day. The words didn't feel right in my mouth anymore, I knew that what I was speaking and thinking were wrong. They weren't facts, they were my own "truths" that were in fact, lies.

Whenever this sort of thing happens, were I can feel my paradime shifting, it is always followed up with experiences that help me see the truth. I want to tell you about 2 of those:

#1- I read this post from my dear friend of 24 years:

"Don't expect a gift or a meal or a love letter to make you happy. You've gotta be happy already. You are in charge of your own happiness. All those gifts are a bonus! To be truly happy is the best gift I've ever given myself. And being happy, I can actually enjoy Mother's Day--- but not because of gifts I may receive. From mama to mama... Happy Mother's Day!"

Kari Rangel serves many purposes in my life, but the first is to ground me. If I were to send a pity party invitation to her, she would crumple it up, show up on my door step, kick my butt, tell me to stop my whining and then she'd buy me a snow cone and we'd go shopping (too bad we don't live closer).

Her post hit me and gently began to lead my heart in the right direction. The uncomfortable thoughts and feelings were still there, kind of like a soft, warm, familiar blanket you don't want to let go of, but I could feel something new brewing.

#2- A package arrived, from my mother in law, Robin. I was shocked because I wasn't expecting anything. Inside the package was the most beautiful note and this bracelet. I sat on the porch and tears poured down my face as I put the delicate bracelet around my wrist and touched each stone, representing each of my angels.

The way she reminded me of the importance of this day and how much she loved me was the final stone I needed in my bridge to see this day for what it really is.

I saw, for the first time, how my selfish expectations for this day were poising it for me, and how each and every Mother's Day, despite what my husband and children did, I was getting exactly what I expected.

This bridge was allowing me to remember what an honor and blessing it is to be a mother. I don't need anything, or anyone to remind me how much I love being a mother. I have devoted my life to 5 little people and I am so grateful for them. I was waiting all these years for them to honor me and to show me how important my role was and how much they appreciated what I did.

But that wasn't their responsibility. Like Kari said, "You gotta be happy already!"

Mother's Day will now be a day I will honor my children, as their mother. I will take this day to truly see them for how lovely and perfect they really are. I will take a moment longer to look into their eyes and remember the love and respect that they deserve. I will see my husband as the amazing partner he is to me and how he so effortlessly glides through life with me, as their Father...

...Then, all the hand drawn cards, home made presents and walmart flowers will be so sweet and so precious...The icing!

My Kids Say the Dardnest Things

Tyler was talking on the phone to his cousin Austin and Austin made a really loud noise and Tyler said,

"Whatever noise you just made was SO loud it sounded like you sent little men with sticks into my ears to bang on my ear drums!"

7-14-2010

Tyler: "Do you know you're cute?"

Malia: "Ya!"

Tyler: "Do you know I love you?"

Malia: "Ya!"

6-27-2010

I have been crocheting a blanket for the new baby and Baily was watching me one day, and this conversation happened.

"Mom, you crochet faster than a chicken!"

"Really!? I have never seen a chicken crochet before Baily, have you?"

"Yes! Once, when I was at the Zoo and I was lost all by myself I saw a chicken crocheting."

"Oh really, and he was crocheting with his feet?"

"Ya, He was crocheting with all of his feet! But he wasn't as fast as you Mom!"

5-2-09

Baily- "How old will I be when I get baptized?"

Me- "Eight."

Baily- "Are you 8?"

Me- "No, I am 29."

Baily- "Wow! I will never be that old!"

5-1-09

I was explaning to Baily how to say her personal prayers. I told her she gets to talk to and tell Heavenly Father anything she wants. Then she said,

Baily- "I can't talk to Him, He isn't here!"

Me- "Just try to picture him in your head as you are talking to him."

Baily- "I just can't do it Mom, Heavenly Father is just too far up there."

We where discussing what everyone wanted to be for halloween, when we got to Baily I said, "And you get to be a tinker! (tinker belle)

Baily- "No...I don't want to be a tinker toy!"

Baily- "Mommy, I want a fruit number" (she meant fruit leather...it took me a while to figure that one out)

Mom -"Tyler, I can't believe you are old enough to start Kindergarten!"

Tyler- "I know! I just learned and learned and learned and learned...it took a long time for it!"

We saw Horton Hears a Who for the first time yesterday and this is what I over heard today as Kylee and Tyler were playing...

Kylee- "Let's play Horton Hears a Who. I get to be Horton." and without even stopping to think Tyler quickwittedly responds,

Tyler-"I get to be 'hears a who'"

We were at the zoo the other day and my sweet, curious Tyler says,

"I always wondered what it would be like to lick a zebra, but remember that time that I licked Alley (our cat)...It was not fun."

It's true...we were getting cat hair off his tongue for days!

Baily and I were sitting on the couch and she looks up at me with her big green eyes and says, "Mom, guess what...Jesus died for us!" Talk about an unbelievable parent moment!

We went to the fish farm and let the kids catch some trout. Kylee caught her first fish and was freaking out as it was wiggling on the line. She was screaming, "It wont stop vibrating!"

Tyler picked his fish up and looked it in the eye and said, "Good bye fish...we will see you at dinner!"

The tooth fairy was 2 days late to pick up Kylee's tooth (oops!) and when she woke up the second morning and there was still a tooth under her bed and no money she said,

Kylee- "Maybe she was arrested from breaking into all of those kids houses."

I put Kylee's plate of food in front of her tonight and after seeing what it was (spaghetti with meat and zucchini in the sauce) she said, "Is that all you can do is make me sicker and sicker!" Guess who had to eat an extra serving of zucchini! I know, I'm mean! Can you say, "Attitude!"

I walked into the living room when I heard Malia hysterically laughing and I said,

"Baily, why is Malia laughing so hard?"

Baily- "I'm sitting on her."

Me- "No Baily! We don't sit on babies!"

Baily- "But she likes it!"

Tyler- "Mommy, how many days are in a week?"

Me- "7"

Tyler- "How many weeks in a year?"

Me-"52"

Tyler "Good Job Mom!"

Tyler- "I was in a play today at Primary, and I got to be Nehi...I mean Lephi..."

Daddy- "If a snake has round eyes it is NOT posionous, and if it has slit eyes like a cat it IS poisonous." Kylee- "So if I see a snake I will pick it up, check its eyes, and if they are slits I will drop it and run!"

Baily- "Mommy, I am so happy now, 'cause I am bigger and I get the potty train!"