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“Hot By Any Standard”: Sex and Dating for Self-Identified Gay Little People

This week Gawker profiled two self-identifiedgay little people living in New York, shedding light on the unique body politics of being gay and having a physical disability that has “more of a chance of being laughed at than any other disability.” David Funes and Joey Navedo are the subjects of the piece, and while they are familiar with each other as acquaintances, their experiences as gay little people seem to be vastly different.

Funes, the 25-year-old entertainer and son of Argentinian immigrants was born with achondroplasia—the most common form of dwarfism. Described by the author as “hot by any standard,” Funes none-the-less voices a discomfort in some of the situations he encounters in the world of dating and sex in New York. While used to attracting stares in a city filled with diverse people and personalities, Funes expresses frustration in dealing with fetishists who only want to pursue him as a partner for the novelty of sleeping with a little person. Much in line with our topic last week about racism found in Grindr profiles, there is a distinct line between expressing a sexual interest in a particular race or set of abilities and being offensive and discriminatory, and Funes is completely turned off by the latter.

Navedo, who is described as confidently embodying the mentality of someone who is 6’2”, seems to experience the opposite of Funes, self-labeling himself as a “submissive power bottom” on his Grindr profile. Unlike Funes, Navedo claims his nightlife career is a bigger hindrance to his sex life than his stature. That said, his career has been challenged by his size. He performed an internship where a manager refused to look him in the eyes because she believed doing so would cause her to have a child with his same condition. Expressing a difference from Funes’ experiences of disrespectful attention to his size, Navedo doesn’t seem to mind being “crossed off a few bucket lists” in terms of accepting some festishism in his sex life. He views his small size as a strength in the bedroom, saying he is turned on by being tossed around in the bedroom.

These accounts shed light on both the complex challenges that gay little people face on a daily basis, however they also demonstrate that difference in physicality can be reclaimed as a dating strength and an asset in the bedroom, only when one is confident with themselves the way they are.

I’ve only touched on a few points here as the read is illuminating and worthwhile.

disclaimer: some of the images on this site show men in various stages of undress. This is intended to be educational and open a dialogue about men’s bodies; gay, bi, trans, and queer men’s body image; mental health; and health and wellness.

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Some of the images on this site show men in various stages of undress. This is intended to be educational and open a dialogue about men’s bodies; gay, bi, trans, and queer men’s body image; mental health; and health and wellness.

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