News

ID Demand For Barnsley Tips

Monday July 2 2012

THE council-run dump it sites across Barnsley are having to introduce a proof of address policy after it emerged Sheffield residents are flocking to use local facilities.

There is an ongoing industrial dispute affecting the running of the five dump it sites operated by Sheffield City Council and so residents from Sheffield have been trying to use the Barnsley tips - causing an upsurge in people using them.

A council spokesman said: "The Household Waste Recycling Centres in Barnsley are for the exclusive use of Barnsley residents.

"As a temporary measure therefore and to ensure that only Barnsley residents are using these sites, users of the sites may be asked to show some form of personal identification to confirm they are a resident of Barnsley.

“As he approached with those pasty white arms
hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me that it was benefit day
and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade
tonight.” “It was Dwayne’s birthday. I was preparing his special tea of
Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me
any....way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was ...what
he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call
of Duty at the same time.” “Our 6 week anniversary was approaching.
This would be the longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I
thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms
straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed
his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling
out Braille for I love you.” “As I stood in the line at the Barnsley Job
Centre thinking of reasons I couldn’t work, a sweet smell drifted past
my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of Weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I
turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting
me onto the wheelie bins behind The Court House. He had tied up his
Staffy to block the alleyway so we wouldn’t be disturbed. There was a
tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and
my life would never be the same.” “My mum told me to leave Dwayne many
times due to the violence but I knew he loved me because he always took
his gold sovereign rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a
foul mood. I had fucked his tea up as I failed to defrost his chicken
dippers I had nicked from Jack Fultons. He picked up the power lead from
my kids PS3 and whipped it across my fat as. It stung but I liked it. I
shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip
into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Wheetabix
toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was rare as the crack
normally played havoc with his erections.