I loved this idea for a post that Christine wrote and thought I would do my own little take on it, partially as a look back at the year, but also reflecting on areas ‘to nail’ in 2014. Not so much goals, but moreso in the quest of my ‘perfectly imperfect’ journey.

What I’ve nailed in 2013?

Let’s see, I think I’ve done a pretty good job with these, but you’ll notice some of them show up in the ‘what to nail’ list below, and hey, that’s okay. Some of these are ongoing and reminders to me constantly.

Nixing the numbers fixation. I struggled with this a LOT in 2012 and the early part of 2013. From weight, to miles, to food, to everything. I felt compelled to quantify everything, when really, who cares? Who am I competing against but myself, and even then, why is it a competition? It’s not, so cut the sh*t and just live.

Learning to let go. This is a work in progress, but I do feel like I’ve made some big strides here. This really ties in to number one, above, too, because part of my numbers fixation is all about control and *not* letting go. And I am trying to apply this to all areas of my life, including my marriage, because I never want to fall into the trap of constantly nagging, complaining, nitpicking over seriously non-issues, when there is a man that loves me for me, that would do anything for me, that lets E-V-E-R-Y-thing roll off his back and yet, I sit there, uptight and nudgy half the time. That’s ridiculous and not even worth it. So I am learning. And trying to step back, breathe, and then react.

Balancing the ‘me’ workouts with those I teach at barre n9ne. I think every instructor or trainer must face this at one point or another, how to balance their own ‘me’ workouts with those they teach. At first, I tried to keep my usual barre/running routine *and* my classes (which could range anywhere from 6-9 classes a week), but that quickly became a ‘HARDER, not SMARTER’ routine and I was getting nowhere. So I stopped taking classes and just taught them, and ran. And that didn’t feel quite right either, because the first time I took a class in a month, I felt AMAZING after and I realized how much I missed TAKING classes, not just teaching them. So I found my balance in taking a couple of classes a week – less if I taught more, more if I taught less, as schedule allowed – and I think it has not only made me stronger and feel more fit, it has made me a better instructor. I can weave in new combinations of moves I observe other instructors do while I take their class, I realize how certain moves stacked with others tire the body (in a good way) and think about new ideas for my own class structures, and it just lets my mind roam and feel the workout in a way that I don’t feel when I am teaching, and making sure clients are in proper form etc.

Prioritizing. This has been HUGE for me. I was feeling so rush-rush-rush and busy all.the.time until I started saying no. Until I started prioritizing and putting my time where it mattered most, not spread so thin that I barely enjoyed any of it. I am definitely keeping this one on the list for 2014 and beyond, because prioritizing is truly the simplest way to happiness.

Marrying M. I file this under ‘nailed it’ because, six months ago today, I married the man I was meant to be with, and with each day that passes, I realize more I love about M, more qualities that I adore about him, and more I want to explore and learn together in our marriage. And in the literal sense, I married M in the most perfect way for us than I could have ever imagined. Quietly. Small. In a place that we love, Healdsburg. What more could we have asked for? Bliss.

What to nail in 2014…

Letting go. This is one I have just started to ‘feel’ happening, the change towards letting go and not being so damn particular about things, and I am excited to see it continue to take shape in 2014. It’s been worth it to step back, to release control, especially in my marriage with M, to give that to him more, since he is so laid back and easy about life, the ‘control’ tends to shift to me, and I don’t always think that is best, because it just feeds into my type A-ness and not the good qualities of being type A. And it allows me to sit back and slow down more, when I let go, observe and BE.

Not taking others’ actions so personally. This one has reared its ugly head in the last oh, six months or so, and it’s driving me crazy. There are a few instances of things that have happened in my life that I took SO damn personally and stepping back, they truly had nothing to do with me, as a friend, employee, person. Yet I allowed it to attack my psyche, to bring me down, to draw out the cattiness and some resentment. And those are ugly qualities. No more. I draw the line here.

Allowing imperfection (more). Dirty dishes, being late (oh this one drives me crazy, but once in awhile, is being say, 5 mins late, for example, the worst thing and reason to get all bent over? uhh no.), changing plans or course of action. Letting these things happen. Letting go, per #1 as above 😉

Stop the comparison trap for good. I really DID nix this one almost entirely this year – tying into the numbers fixation issue I mentioned above, but once in awhile, it still comes back. And it again brings about ugly traits, jealousy, bitterness, frustration. And I am NOT that person. So I vow to rid myself of this need to compare, compare, compare. This isn’t a competition or a race. Compare to nobody, not even yourself.

Slowing down. I have LOVED the slowdown challenge and getting into The In-Between, I just drink up the words and want to sear them into memory forever. There is just so much you see, learn and experience when you slow down, strip away the complications, and keep it simple. It’s truly amazing.

So, there you have it…some things I’ve nailed in 2013 and more I plan to nail in 2014, along with living with intention, of course. What I found most interesting in putting this list together, is how many of them tie together so well, and the themes that rise out of these – simplicity, balance, and embracing. I’d say that’s the only way to live, don’t you?

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…that I didn’t cower and revert to shyness, and faced tables of people, sitting down and talking with coworkers and folks I don’t see on a regular basis.

…that I talked to those that can be pretty intimidating ..including executives, C-level, VP, directors, and held my own. Talked the talk, walked the walk, and even talked all things barre, running and teaching 😉

…that I chose wisely at every meal. Chose fueling options, like a salmon burger loaded with veggies and salad and no empty calorie bun that probably wouldn’t have tasted good anyway, or an apple with peanut butter vs. the oatmeal and chocolate cookies set out during coffee breaks. That I chose normally.

…that I got some fabulous runs in, and that my knee was strong and happy, and I didn’t push it, but ran happy and admittedly relieved.

…that while I did need to shift my focus a bit, it wasn’t *that* hard to do, or as hard as I thought it would be.

I am proud of me…again, my third sales conference for my company, and probably my most social, outgoing, and confident experience. This is me saying it proud: go me. I think I deserved that 😉

This week has been proof positive that once again, stepping out of your comfort zone really does lead to change, growth, and confidence.

And now I shall rest up a little bit more on this much-needed break, and then head into my last dinner and social hour before I pack it up and head home tomorrow. One more workout, a much needed ‘me’ meal, alone, decompressing, needed, after several days of hundreds of people everywhere (quite the switch for me, my little work from home niche I love so much!). And then a flight home with Meaghan, my ‘kindred,’ how fabulous is that?

Cheers, friends, and thank you for always supporting and always believing in me. XO!

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It’s yet another FEF up in here people. Finally Effing Friday, for those that are just tuning in 😉

Good GRIEF has it been a long long LONG week of travel. Let’s see, 4 planes this week, 3 planes last week, thousands of miles in between, and I am toast. While the first leg of two weeks of travel was for pleasure, this week was just.so.tiring. So I think I deserve to revel in the fact that I am home, I am in my own home, my own routine, my own FOOD.

So here are a few things that are making me happy – beyond the fact that I am home 😉

Getting a promotion!! I had my review while I was in the office this week in California and not only did I get a pretty sizable raise, I got a promotion! I was floored. I was hoping it would be coming soon, but had no idea my boss had been working on this for months.

Feeling like a hugely valued employee. Combine the aforementioned with the nicest, most heartfelt, most complimentary email I have ever ever received from ANYONE and I am a very happy employee. My boss’ boss (who becomes interim boss for me when she is on maternity leave – again – next summer) sent me not only a Christmas card with a gift card inside, he sent me an email that said – in effect, this: Perhaps the most special thing about you and many won’t realize, is that you are making people around you better than they were before they met you. I can guarantee you that in their next job they will take the things you have taught them and they will look much smarter and accomplished than they are…some will give you credit, some won’t, but I will know they are improved because they worked with you.

Um, wow. Speechless. Utterly.

(with such a tough travel week, and feeling challenged by the time change and inability to choose my own meals 90% of the time, the aforementioned, plus feeling like I ate so mindfully this week and so peacefully felt like a huge accomplishment!!)

Meeting the one and only Lindsay Cotter (AND her dog AND her husband!!) While on my cross-country ‘tour’ this week (first in California, and then in Austin), I was extremely fortunate to meet Lindsay Cotter. Finally. It’s been years of following her blog, and really becoming friends – aka blends! (blog friends!), so I was thrilled to finally meet her. We walked around the lake, we talked, we met up with James and her brother in law and their cute as hell pup at the dog park, and then I got a treat by seeing the Whole Foods HEADQUARTERS store, oh em gee. I could spend all day in there. It was a perfect afternoon and capper to one long ass week. Thank you Lindsay!! SO much! (AND for the Healthy Bites treats you gave me for my flight!!)

And a weekend ahead that is almost planLESS.Yep, you read that right. An almost planLESS weekend. I. Cannot. Wait.

I have one week left of my 6 month run challenge and it couldn’t be more fitting for this fabulous Friday to share that I finally – finally – feel as though I ran *all* happy miles this week. Every. single. run. Awesome. Each in different ways. I’ve come to realize that this run challenge has come down to exactly that: happy running. notsomuch about miles. notsomuch about getting back to thinking about running another half marathon.

Nope.

Just. Running. Happy.

I’m writing this after one of my best runs in quite awhile. With M by my side. And this was even after teaching a 6 am barre n9ne class (back-to-back with teaching two classes yesterday, too).

See? Happy Miles Faces!

The difference? I told myself I would ‘do’ as little as possible in class (save for upper body and ab work) and it worked out so well because a) I had a bigger than usual morning class so there was naturally more opportunity to walk around and correct and b) I am learning more and more my stride for teaching smaller classes where I ‘do’ bits and pieces but focus more on form corrections and motivation.

So, while I taught 5 classes this week, I strategically planned my runs to either not follow directly after teaching or taking a barre n9ne class, or on an ‘off’ day completely from barre n9ne. And it worked. Finally. It worked.

Sunday, I ran with M (about 4 miles) before I taught at 10 am. Tuesday, I ran 6 killer miles of intervals. And rocked them. Wednesday, I took b9 fusion class in the morning and met bestie Steph for a quick and speedy 3.6 miler by a nearby lake. Humid. But awesome. And today, 5ish (5.4 maybe??) miles with M where my legs didn’t feel heavy, even though it was my last run of the week and I expected them to feel a little lead-like at first. Nope. Felt strong, yet light.

This week I ran happy miles. And as I look to next week, where I set out for Costa Mesa bright and early on Monday morning (coming home Thursday night), I am confident and even a little excited to finally get a chance to run outside before work a few days next week. It’s going to be awesome. (did I just say that?!)

Happy weekend, friends. do something happy, will ya? I sure as hell plan to do the same 🙂

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While I don’t typically post on weekends, I just had to share some pictures from the surprise party…because it was just, in a word…epic!!

It went off without a hitch and I am still beaming from ear to ear!! And so is M. He was completely shocked, had NO idea, and the best part was his reaction to all of the people that came, from his entire office (including his boss), to his best friend and his other best friend that he hasn’t seen in at least a year, and to our friends that all came to celebrate and congratulate him. He couldn’t believe I was able to pull this off without any hints, without him hearing about it at work, and without my usually-bad poker face not giving it all away.

I loved how he would look at me, shake his head, and ask yet another question (how did you get ‘T’ here?? or how did you get all the beer and wine? And when did you buy all the food? And when did you have time, with the barre n9ne opening this morning? And how long have you been planning this? And, how did I not know?!). I was, admittedly, patting myself on the back all night (hehe) and just thrilled with how well it turned out. (and so so thankful to have had Jess and Steph help me with everything, or I never would have gotten it done!).

So, without further ado, here it is…a surprise party…in pictures (found a cool app to make these into collages!)

This picture collage created with Smilebox

(you’ll notice the pictures of me, super duper nervous, waiting for his arrival. I was sweating it out, but it went perfectly!!)

(These are so fun group shots I took of everyone. I just loved looking around and seeing so many friends from different walks of his life, all together. And for nobody to have tipped him off to it? Even better!)

Throwing this party two days after I returned from Chicago and the same day as the barre n9ne opening was quite a challenge, and I think by the end of the night, I was running on fumes, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. An utterly perfect day. (and more tomorrow on the barre n9ne opening!!). Cheers, friends!