Monday, August 11, 2008

The real deal on being a mother part deux

I would like to preface that I LOVE my son but I feel the need to write this post so please bear with me

Here I go again with another one of "those" posts. Maybe I should write a memoir? Oh wait, I'd have to spell correctly and actually proofread (which you may have noticed I HATE to do).

What is bothering me so much? I'm depressed. I don't have actual postpartum depression but I am depressed -- about my weight, that is. And here in lies photographic evidence:

At the end of my pregnancy, I had gained over 50 pounds, most of which was water weight. Right now, I'm 10 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight but my wedding ring doesn't fit. My shirts are TOO tight (my chest area, HUGE) and my mid-section is a little stretched and doughy. I don't feel sexy. Work clothes shopping was a drag. The issue is I have no time to work out and I can't diet because I'm breastfeeding. The good news is I'm one size away from where I started but even THAT wasn't a good weight. I must face the fact -- I have let myself go and well, that's sad.

So how do I get back to where I want to be? Simple -- exercise and eating right. That means I make time to exercise. Yes, that will take time away from Ben but will had time onto my life. I must eat better. Though I can am supposed to eat an extra 500 calories, that doesn't mean I can eat nila wafers and frosting or a bowl of ice cream with marionberries and chocolate.

So, what's the plan? I have a few options. First, maybe I should post something each Sunday -- I mean, not just say I'm going to but really post something about what I did the week before. As for exercise, I really like the Body Pump classes at my local gym and I also have two pairs of roller derby skates in my closet. I could join the recreational derby league of the Renegades of Oregon again and skate twice a week for cardio (Body Pump is cardio and weights combined). The schedule works for me since Ben goes to bed about the time practice starts.

That is as far as I have gotten. I CANNOT JOIN STROLLER STRIDES. Please don't post that in my comments as I will be working starting next week. If you have any ideas, let me know. I'm almost going to go as far as maybe posting my weight and inches measurements.

I'm hoping that by losing some weight, I'm going to feel better about myself. I am so in love with my baby though. I don't regret having him because I know I have the keys to my health and I need to stop making excuses and JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Now is your cute photo of Ben for the day via my new Blackberry Pearl...

4 comments:

I know this stresses you out, but it's great that you even have the brain cells working to think up a plan. Continuing to nurse will also help (well, chest will still be huge, but it burns calories). I was not down to pre-pregnancy weight until 4-5 months after having Owen, so give yourself some grace and time. Also, acknowledge that your body will always be different - it's a symbol of your journey into motherhood.

Roller derby practice sounds like a great idea. You were really excited about that last week.

Here's an idea (and if you're a health care professional, stop reading): don't eat the extra 500 calories a day. (When I was a new mommy, I was told a peanut butter and jelly sandwich extra a day would do the trick.) You should be proud of all the weight you've already lost! It's only been a couple months and you're probably right on track. And feel sexy? I don't think I was there until my kids were, well, let's see, how old are they now...18 and 20?

I cut my carbs way down and loaded up on protein and fiber and that worked for me. I think the thing to remember is you are doing great and that it takes time to get it off. Don't be so hard on yourself, mama! :) And just so you know, I know that is easier said than done and I've posted plenty of posts like this one... but we all need to remember to be easier on ourselves especially when we're adjusting to our new roles as mom's.

Where you are now, with a new baby and going back to work is hard, there's no way out at the moment, you just plow through. But try to remember this is the hardest part, the hardest it gets.

And every month gets a little easier, so remind yourself that next year at this time, things will be a little easier.

I often feel overwhelmed because I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I have to find one thing a day to look forward to, even if it's a hot bath or a glass of wine.

Then, think of one thing a week, like lunch out, or date night, or whatever. Then one special thing a month, etc. I still do this, 3 kids and 15 years of marriage later!

For dieting? Make sure to eat! Skipping meals will do you more harm than good. Try to eat a good combo of protien, carb and healthy fat every meal and you'll see a huge differnce in energy. Just my experience!