Herbert Nehrlich

Tit For Tat - Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

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A pussycat once saw a bathung from the tree, that it was atthought pussycat, who purred and satthat any bat which hung like thatmight be at that a kind of ratperhaps a mouse, which is less fatso when the cat just stared and satthe bat-like rat looked down and spatinto the eye of pussycatthe pussycat thought 'what a brat'that he would be regretting thatthe cat put on his Sunday hatand used the feline prayer matto hide behind while tit for tatthe pussycat devoured the bat.

Comments about Tit For Tat by Herbert Nehrlich

well, to my mind, the revision improves the whole tone of the poem. you now have a children's poem worthy of Roald Dahl (if I have actually spelt his name correctly, that would be a first) and reminiscent of the tone of The Brothers Grimm's fables, which I think are great. nice work, Herbert.
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I put it on the forum...most people were disinterested but Mr. Shepherd said it was reminiscent of the children's work of Shel Silverstein. I thought it was like a amalgamation of Edward Lear and Dr. Seuss. I'd lose the 'skat' and iron out the crinkles and you have the basis of a child's poem...the removal of the word 'shat' would make it work for children...otherwise, you are stuck with a poem that is too immature for adults and not suitable for children, which would be a shame as I am in agreement with Michael that this poem has the basis of a decent children's poem, if slightly amended.
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there is nothing better then a poem about a puddy tat i love them especially from
a decent poet what a great job herbert i got a laugh out of this a great play of words and flow stick it in the forum for carter to have a look at
get him to read it to his wife before bedtime