You know what’s bad? When you are so numb to the fact that a pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball is running for president that you don’t even find it all that weird, at first, that his daughter Ivanka is going around clarifying that said hairball does not “grope” people. But it is weird! America, let us never forget that this is weird.

The Trump clan remains up in arms over a recent New York Times story that drew on over 50 interviews with dozens of women who’d interacted with Trump—one of whom claimed that Donald Trump groped her under the table in the early ‘90s. According to Ivanka Trump, who would have been between 9 and 14 years old at the time, this is not accurate.

“Look, I’m not in every interaction my father has, but he’s not a groper,” Ivanka Trump told CBS This Morning, via Politico. “It’s not who he is. And I’ve known my father obviously my whole life and he has total respect for women.”

From Politico:

Ivanka Trump said she read the Sunday cover story and “found it to be pretty disturbing, based on the facts as I know them, and obviously I very much know them” as a daughter and an executive who’s worked alongside him for more than a decade.

“I was bothered by it, but it’s largely been discredited since,” she said, referring to Brewer Lane’s criticism of the report.

Oh?

“Obviously” is an interesting word to use here regarding Ivanka’s familiarity with this particular set of facts, because it is not obvious...at all...that a daughter would know how her father treats other women behind closed doors (or under tables, as it were).

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Despite Ivanka’s assurances, and Trump’s immediately walked-back threats to sue the paper, and his tweeted suggestion that the author resign, the New York Times has stood by the story. Obviously.