Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

Will (13), Deb, Christina (8), and Terry on Mother's Day, 1998.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know I like to apply Montessori principles to as many aspects of my life as I can. That includes being a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.

I was never one to beat anyone over the head with my beliefs. Using the analogy of a Montessori teacher’s role is probably a good way for me to describe my advocacy style. Of course, even though Montessorians have the greatest respect for their students, I don’t see other parents as children or students. This isn’t in any way a condescending approach to advocacy. But the Montessori teacher’s role is one that shows respect for everyone and has techniques for helping others in a compassionate and effective manner.

Here are my top 4 ways to be a natural parenting compassionate advocate by using Montessori principles:

1. Prepare myself.

The training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than the learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit. – Maria Montessori

Our family now with kids and kids-in-law - Terry, Deb, Chrissy, Tom, Will, and Chea at Veg 'N Out in San Diego.

In anything, I think my most effective role is as a role model. I was lucky that I was interested in and worked to follow natural parenting principles from the time of my first pregnancy in 1984. I’m lucky that my children are grown-up examples that natural parenting principles – including breastfeeding, baby wearing, healthy living, attachment parenting, gentle discipline, and natural learning (which for my family included Montessori principles and homeschooling) – do work.

2. Prepare an attractive, orderly environment.

In the motif of natural parenting advocacy, my environment right now is my blog. I work to be consistent and encouraging in my posts. I hope that others will find some beauty in what I have to offer.

3. Demonstrate ideas.

In Montessori education, the teacher demonstrates materials and ways of interacting. The Montessori teacher offers to work with students and give demonstrations but doesn’t force demonstrations upon anyone. In the same way, my blog posts, Facebook page, and Living Montessori Now Community are always available, giving ideas I’ve used and links to ideas I’ve discovered.

4. Allow freedom of choice.

And so we discovered that education is not something which the teacher does, but that it is a natural process which develops spontaneously in the human being. – Maria Montessori

I’ve been amazed to hear how my posts have affected people’s lives. I realize that it’s not because my knowledge is so great or I’m so perfect. It’s because the individuals were ready to make a change, and I just happened to say the right thing at the right time.

Let us leave the life free to develop within the limits of the good, and let us observe this inner life developing. This is the whole of our mission. – Maria Montessori

Even though I’m a real believer in peace, love, and tolerance, there are times when I do need to say something. If individuals are dangerous to themselves and their children, then my role is to gently intervene. Otherwise, my role is to have faith that people will have an inner urging toward self-development and want to be the best parents they can be. Their exact parenting path is their choice and is usually the right one for their family.

From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.

I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.

Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.

Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don’t share your views.

Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.

Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.

A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don’t parent the way you do.

Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!

Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.

Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.

Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.

One Parent at a Time… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.

Self-compassion — We’re great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.

Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.

Reader Interactions

Comments

Gosh this is wonderful. I can see that these 4 principles can almost be ‘principles for living’. The idea of preparing yourself and bring in order and rhythm is what I feel we are lacking in many of today’s circumstances. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post!

I love this list, Deb. I definitely find your blog inspirational. I appreciate your commitment to implementing Montessori principles in your life, and it’s great to be able to see the results of your natural parenting efforts!

Great article, thank you, you have given me a lot to think about. I like that your notion of tolerance still involves active involvement where necessary – all too often it seems a by-word for ‘couldn’t care less what others do’ but also that you recognize parents’ wishes to do the best by their children and to find their own paths.

Visiting from Mom Loop, and I really enjoyed this post. I needed to read the first quote, especially.

Our girls are enrolled in a Montessori school and we apply many of the same ideals at home, but as they’ve gotten older I have drifted somewhat apart from my original goal of being “attached” and “in tune” with my children. It’s a work in progress as they age and press boundaries and assert more personality!

Thanks for helping me remember it’s my job to prepare my character and spirit first, so that I may reach out to them more effectively.

Thanks, Anna! I found it an amazing experience to watch my children grow and change. I always appreciated Montessori principles and ideals because they can be applied at any age. It’s so true that it’s challenging to be in tune with our children’s ever-changing needs. But such a rewarding challenge! 🙂

This is a great post for CarNatPar. It’s funny because yours was one of my most anticipated posts for this carnival and it’s actually the last I’m reading. I’ve been commenting on everyone’s as mindfully as I can, so it takes me awhile. I’m happy that this is the final word on compassionate advocacy because it is a fitting post for me to take away-kind of the keystone, if you will.

One of the reasons I think I’m so attracted to Montessori for homeschooling is that it approaches people holisticly. From the inside out, it seeks to deepen the individual’s connection to the innermost self and from there to the world and then infinite reflections (and refractions?) between. I use the word person because it includes everyone in a child’s life. It is a mindful, peaceful way of coexisting with others in the world and really, is there any other way to actually create connection and change that’s meaningful and lasting?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment

Name *

Email *

Website

Primary Sidebar

What Are You Looking For?

Search this website

Subscribe by email

Living Montessori Now Sponsors

Popular Posts

Categories

Categories

Archives

Archives

+1 Living Montessori Now!

I Recommend (My Affiliates)

Footer

Connect with LMN

Supervision

The activities shared on this blog require adult supervision at all times. You know which activities are appropriate for your children and/or the children under your care and are responsible for those children's safety.