Just what do they think of us, pondered the Food Standards Agency, the government body charged with protecting public health and guarding us all from poisoning? And so they did what these bodies do and commissioned research, a project that took months, involving experts, the public and journalists. Around 600 people. But the results, it seems, were worse than the taste of an undercooked sausage, especially the views of the journalists who said the FSA's communication skills were virtually nonexistent. And so the organisation did what these organisations do and cancelled yesterday's briefing at which it was supposed to have met its critics. No rescheduled date. No explanation. As a communications strategy, that's the way to go.

More of the fisticuffs in Rochdale, where seven Labour party members will face disciplinary proceedings on Sunday for allegedly being beastly to their official candidate, Simon Danczuk. Yesterday we told of a letter signed by six calling for an investigation into allegations about Danczuk's private life. But the charge sheet will be longer than that, we are told, for it will include allegations that party members have been harassed and intimidated. "There is a long history to this," a source tells us. "Multiple offences." But then can one be surprised, as a glance at the archive reveals that at the time of his selection Danczuk (pictured) said he received anonymous death threats? At one point, he was reportedly sent a wreath. No suggestion that those under the spotlight ever resorted to such shenanigans. But it's lively there and no mistake.

From yesterday's Daily Telegraph, a snapshot of Team Cameron, the people who will comprise his inner circle when the likely becomes reality next year. Figures such as chick-lit novelist Louise Bagshawe, Zac Goldsmith and MEP Christopher Heaton Harris. We also see the black rising star Shaun Bailey and the former Tory spinner Priti Patel. But there are limits, and alas there can be no role for such as Susan John-Richards, a former investment banker who was popular among activists for her role in helping make Wandsworth a Tory citadel in south London, but has now flounced off from the party complaining of sexual discrimination. "I was always kept in the dark regarding my ward, always discriminated against and faced sexist remarks and actions," she says. Party sources accuse her of sour grapes because she was deselected as a candidate for the next election and deny suggestions that she suffered the sort of discrimination Dave abhors. She just didn't have what it takes to make the Team.

A setback too for Tories keen to rubbish the rebellious Conservative MEP Edward McMillan-Scott, who unforgivably broke ranks and won the vice-presidency of the European Parliament. This ruined Dave's plan to have Polish MEP Michal Kaminski as vice-president. Worse, it meant that Dave had to make Kaminski, with his extremist background and surrounded as he is by contested accusations of antisemitism, the leader of the Tory-led Euro alliance of parties. Worse still, McMillan-Scott highlighted the questionable aspects of Kaminsky's past. More than enough to make the veteran Tory public enemy number one. But the assault has hit the buffers following an article in the Daily Telegraph that defended Kaminsky and was less than generous about the man the Tories love to hate. No trace of it now in the Telegraph's archive. They have had to expunge it following a communication from McMillan-Scott and his combative lawyer friends at Carter Ruck. Two-nil to the rebel. From the Tory terraces, an eerie quiet.

Finally, controversy blights the 2012 world championships of the Fédération Internationale des Sociétés Magiques, the worldwide convention for top magicians, which will be staged in Blackpool. Paul Daniels isn't pleased. "When I heard it was going to Blackpool, my heart sank," he tells the Stage. "Blackpool now is a sad place for those of us who remember it as it was. Now it's rough, tasteless, bawdy, scruffy." Blackpool says backatcha, Mr Paul, and officials insist he will not, in light of his comments, be invited. After all their ill fortune, a stroke of luck.