Hilary Duff opened up about her decision to stop breastfeeding her 6 month old daughter, Banks Violet Bair, in a powerful and vulnerable Instagram post on Monday, May 7. Opening up about the struggles of being a working mom and ruling her days around the breast pump, the Younger star explained why it was time for her breastfeeding journey to come to an end.

“Pumping at work sucks,” the 31-year-old shared. “I had zero down time and am usually pumping in a hair and makeup trailer while four hands work to get me ready for the next scene with lots of other people around. Even if I had the luxury to be in my own room, it’s not even considered a ‘break’ because you have to sit upright for the milk to flow into the bottles!”

Duff went on to explain that since she didn’t return to work until her first child, her son Luca, was 9 months old, she didn’t have to pump very often and was not used to the uncomfortable feeling this time around.

“You are having your damn nipples tugged at by an aggressive machine that makes an annoying sound, that echoes through your head day and night (I swear that machine and I had many conversations at midnight and 3 am)!” she continued. “Then having to find someplace to sterilize bottles and keep your milk cold.”

On top of that, the former Lizzie McGuire star, whose boyfriend is songwriter/record producer Matthew Koma, was bummed out when her milk supply dropped and she tried different things like Fenugreek (a herb and supplement that some women use to stimulate milk production), cookies, shakes and more to build her supply back up.

“It was maddening,” she wrote, adding that Fenugreek made her smell like maple syrup and rubber gloves. “I needed a break. I was going to break. With the stress of a dropping milk supply and a baby that was getting bored or not caring about nursing when I was available to. I was sad and frustrated and feeling like a failure all of the time.”

As Duff considered her decision, it weighed heavily on her mind. “I thought about it ALL day every day,” she admitted. “It was a constant loop in my head. Weighing the pros and the cons. And half the time, I wasn’t making any sense. It was about me, and not Banks at this point.”

After feeling emotional and crying while weaning, Duff said she has come out on the other side and feels super proud of herself. “I feel fine and happy and relieved and silly that I even stressed on it so hard,” she said. “Banks is thriving and I get even more time with her, and daddy gets to do more feeds!”

Overall, the actress says she felt so lucky and grateful to have breastfed her for the time that she did, and wanted to share her story to any mom who needed to hear it. “Whether you are pre or postpartum, or just a busy mom, you are superwoman everyday for all that you do,” she shared. “Always putting yourself last and running a mile a minute.”

The post, which at press time, had over 743,000 likes and 14,000+ comments, including a “Love you girl” from Vanessa Lachey, no doubt made other moms feel better about their own decisions when it comes to feeding their baby.

As a mom of an 19 month old who breastfeeds and (begrudgingly) pumps when I need to, I myself have been wondering when I should pull the plug, so to speak, on my own breastfeeding journey. (The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breast-feeding for the first six months after birth, with breast-feeding being recommended as long as you and your baby wish to continue).

I enjoy breastfeeding for the most part, but I’ll admit that like Duff, being a working mom is not easy. I’ve pumped in old storage closets, toilet stalls, even a moving bus bathroom while I tried to balance myself from falling.

On certain days, it feels like it could be time to move on: My daughter is almost 2, she loves whole milk and plenty of other healthy food, and my pediatrician has given me the OK. But the mom guilt does settle in, and I worry that I’m somehow selfishly choosing my wants over my baby’s.

But as Duff reminded me, we as moms put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves and it’s important to take a step back and give yourself a big pat on the back at the end of the day. The point is, whether you breastfed for 10 days or 1000 days, or not at all–fed is best!–there’s no reason for any moms, myself included, to ever feel like a failure.

Truthfully, I’m not sure when my breastfeeding journey with my daughter will come to an end, but I’m feeling much less stressed thinking about it, thanks to Duff’s honesty.

AMG/Parade Digital

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