Genesis of a literary awakening, a discovery of self, an affirmation of voice. My whole woman journeys.

Home Again 2.4 Happy Birthday Ya!

Yesterday was the 21st day of August!. It was also the 21st Sunday of the year 2011. It was a certain Linguere’s birthday. This Linguere’s 1st daughter is 21 years old. Coincidence? No that’s just how special my mother is. With the Gamtel data card’s inability to satisfy my Internet needs for a month, I found myself with no connection yesterday. The best I had was my phone and Twitter is just about the only site I’m comfortable with when it comes to mobile Internet. I was lucky to get a status update on Facebook and that was all. If you know how addicted I am to La Toile aka ‘www’ , you would imagine my frustration yesterday. I intended to do a post on here for my Queen, the true Linguere. Anyways, I showed enough love outside the cyber world and it was amazing. A few months after leaving home, I wrote her a short piece. I felt I should share it on here so you all would know how very proud I am of her. Je partage!

TO AN UNSUNG HEROINE

Far away from you now, I understand the meaning of the saying ‘there is no place like home’. I look to my left and there is no YOU, to my right and still the same. Up and down I still get the same results, but then I decide to look somewhere else: INSIDE. There I find you, ever ready to take my pain away from me, never letting me be complacent in whatever it is I do.

Sometimes I felt I was unwanted, unloved and always thought I was deprived of that ‘mother’s love’. I sometimes felt sad when I saw others sitting with their mothers and discussing and laughing together and sometimes I asked myself, ‘why can’t it be the same for me?’ Why can’t I be able to sit with my own mother and discuss my problems and worries with her? Why is she always jetting off on airplanes to far-away lands?

Then something in me lit up and I realized it was all for the better. I understood that indeed there was unconditional and indefinable love, care, affection and goodwill from a never-ending source. That all that was done was to make me stronger when there was no one there for me to depend on. Truly it did spark up something in me: the desire and determination to succeed conspicuously. So it has been for me.

Coming to morocco opened up avenues of doubt in me. I asked myself what my life would be like, oceans and deserts away from my mother, my sole inspiration. But I came to understand that it was for my own good, to mould me into a stronger personality, a respected woman and a role model to all that hear about me. Being here has given me a whole new view of life which includes tolerance, respect, faith and above all the determination to succeed against all odds and go back home, making my family proud, especially you, Aminata and Ayo.

Today I sit and reflect on what has been the cause of my success, my strength, my faith and everything that makes up Ya Jama Jack. I see the answer as God, who in his mercies and love gave me a mother to be proud of. A mother that has, and I am sure, will always be there for me when the going gets tough. A woman I look up to not just as my role model but a friend, a mentor, a source of inspiration, my guiding light, , the solid rock behind my back. Always stern to make sure I learn things the hard way, all for a purpose; to understand that life is not a bed of roses. That all good things do not come in easy and that hard work begets success.

Looking back at my life I give all thanks to God. Living in a large family and sometimes facing difficulties. Yet He gave me the strength to endure it and make the best use of it. He made me use it as the fuel of determination to drive my vehicle of success. Yet again I thank him for seeing me through and for making me the source of envy for some and inspiration for others, for it is said that ‘ only success begets envy and enemies’. I believe in one thing; that success is not just sheer luck, but it is achieved through hard work. The Wolofs say ‘ligayi ndeye anyi dom’. Maria DaCosta ligaye nga teh kon sa dom yi dinenye si njerinyu!

My mom read this and sent me the best e-mail I would ever receive. I was in a cyber cafe but was not the least embarrassed when I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks. I was glad I could say thanks and have it touch her in the way it did. Praying God leaves her here with us for many more years so she can reap the fruits of her labour. Making her proud is one of my top priorities.

P.S take a few minutes to really listen to the words of this song by my favourite mbalax artist Thione Ballago Seck. If she is close to you now, hug her and tell her you love her. If she’s not near, give her a call. For those that have lost their mothers, offer a silent prayer for them. I know they will be smiling up in heaven. Call me Mummy’s girl but nuff said now. I’ve got some cakes to dig my sweet tooth into. A tres bientot 🙂