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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

General Hospital's Bloated, Boat Booze and Baffoon Tour!

A three-hour tour...A three hour tour...

I've decided to take a bit of a break from GH because as you know, I am borderline manic on saying how horrible I think the writing/pacing/editing has been. My parting shot shall be a nice timeline of the BORING BOAT TOUR for your enjoyment. Maybe you can read this instead of watching GH today. By the way, never fear, I will put up comments so people can still discuss the show.
Let us begin. Remember, this was supposed to be a 'few hours' for Matt's celebratory party. When Spin rowed up to the boat with Maxie he actually said "It's 1/2 hour LATE returning". That means what? 4 hours tops? (we of course have seen it for at least a week or more making it's painful journey even worse). In one portion of the "night" the following happened:

Monday, October 17th

1. Patrick tells Matt about the party. Matt, Liz, Olivia, Patrick, Steve and Robin all climb aboard. They have time for a little song on deck and some munchies. Matt gets a call from Dad. Patrick and Matt fight about their issues. Liz draws a portrait on a napkin..meanwhile..

2. Lisa appears in her underwear in Johnny's apartment..she stabs him with a paralyzing drug. She goes to the dock... attacks Anthony Z with a board and throws him into the water. Next time we see her she's skulking around with a pocket full of needles. ON THE BOAT.3. Maxie's in a panic looking for the boat... AZ rises up from the water and she saves him. He lays there for awhile-- can't move much..and the next time we see him--HE'S ON THE BOAT. I think he was even dry by that time. Anthony threatens Lisa and then...disappears.

4. Olivia and Steve go off to have sex...then go off naked and jump in the water for a swim. Then go to have sex again but she gets dizzy. Patrick and Robin go and have sex in a cabin. Matt and Liz argue, she gets injected by Lisa, who throws her over. By the time we see Liz again, she's washed up on Spoon Island. Must have been a big current.

5. Spin finds Maxie!! They row out to the middle of the "harbor" in the dark and she blathers on for what seems like a whole show. Then the boat malfunctions but they get to Spoon Island. They get off the rowboat, go and explore Wyndemere...see some lights and hear some spooky stuff. Walk around, banter..yada yada.

6. Lisa manages to kill the captain and a steward. (I don't think this giant boat has anyone else running it but them??) She also manages to inject Patrick, haul his 200 pound life-less body out of the shower and tie him up all while Robin is getting a snack. She then manages to tie up Robin to a chair.

7. Matt? Oh, he's had his 99th bottle of champagne and is singing in the lounge by himself. I bet he had to pee in there somewhere! In Sex Central, think Steve sings Olivia another song and has a naughty Nashville flashback.

8. What is this!!? Anthony is back on DRY LAND, on the dock when Johnny comes walking up in a sweater asking what's going on. WOW..some fast acting paralysis there. Not even a headache!!

9. Maxie and Spin have managed to get the boat going and row back OUT TO THE BOAT (in the pitch dark) where she climbs up the hanging ladder?

10. Olivia fixes the giant boat motor but is fainting in the process. Steve's off getting a first aid kit (while never hearing or seeing anything or anyone else on the cruise).

11 Back in the Stateroom from Hell, Robin watches in horror as Lisa taunts Patrick with her HIV blood. Struggle..struggle... wham bam.. Lisa runs, Robin gets Patrick untied and goes after her. Tussle Tussle on the deck (where no one is) and Robin gets knocked down. Fade to Lisa's face (this was yesterday).

Tuesday, October 25th

12. Oh, by the way, Spinelli in his bid for the Olympic crewing team, rows BACK to Spoon Island and finds a lifeless Liz who was put there by some person we saw the shoulder of. He wasn't even panting hard.

Johnny, paralyzed and cured all within 3-4 hours!

Excuse me while I hurl. Not even the Toxic Ball story was as poorly edited/executed. Even the month long Black and White Ball was more exciting. I watch One Life to Live which actually wanted me to believe in time travel. I get that soaps are "fantasy". This? This is another example of cheap sets, shoddy writing and lazy storytelling. Of course, the HoneyMoon From Hell is also going on which is another snoozer so I'm book-ended by misery. See why I need a break? I'm glad some of you seem to be enjoying this. I just-- can't deal.

Photo of Maxie on October 17 after she realizes she "Missed the boat"...

I cannot imagine why they even shot a scene of AZ on deck and then to insert it in the wrong place--except he has to threaten her and so be a suspect in Lisa's disappearance/murder/whatever. As if he wouldn't have been anyway after she wacked him.

I think the substitute Maxie is doing a great job--in fact I sometimes forget it isn't Kirsten--only to have her go on and on and on for a whole show was to wear us all out and the poor actress! Yiks.

This is a ghost ship--who is running it? Nobody. One captain and one stewardess, both of whom disappeared early on. And of course no one noticed. Actually, there's no party really--lamest possible celebration for Matt with everyone in separate cabins doing their own thingy. And Steve does not sing well, yet we had singing and more singing. ff.

I cannot buy this tiresome brother rivalry all the time--they weren't even raised together and didn't even know each other until they were both doctors and on their own. Matt's whiny 'Mother loved you best' sort of thing takes years. It's like Sonny-Ric all over again and just as stupid.

Wolf needs to take a gander at OLTL, at how smoothly you can make one story flow into another, at how a little humor adds to entertainment, at how you utilize the entire cast and several attractive sets, at how vets balance newbies, and how mysteries are built and secrets kept or revealed, and how you can shuffle a little unbelievable in with believable to make it all go down better. And how you do all this while still staying within budget!

Well, actually, I don't think anyone at ABC cares anymore. Just like the last few of us still watching GH...

I;m going to watch GH, no matter how good or bad it is til the end. And hopefully they will either,go to a earlier time slot,or go online. I will still follow no matter what.I've noticed sonny has been reduced to 3 or 2 times a week lately. That's a good thing. :)

I have stopped watching General Hospital now as well. Killing Alan, killing Georgie, mothballing Bobbie, catering to AG and SB, firing IR, neglecting LC, backburnering NLG, glorifying Sonny and his criminal behaviour have all angered me. The use of Robin's HIV status as a weapon is the straw that broke this camels back. DISGUSTING. Occasionally GH as aired psa's at the end of shows where cast members speak and share information on serious issues their characters were dealing with. Most recently we say such psa's as part of the Kristina/Keifer abuse story. It is time for Fron's and JFP's to record their own psa apologizing for their utter disregard and disrespect they have shown regarding what use to be an educational and stereotype-breaking HIV storyline.

So sad that I won't get to read your thoughtful & funny words everyday anymore. Hopefully you'll recap OLTL as it's my fav show now too. I've been trying to watch GH everyday for the past 2 weeks, but I get about 15 min. into it and turn it off because I'd actually rather load my dishwasher than watch how ridiculous it has become. :(

Obviously GH has fired all of their continuity police and they are all smokin magic mushrooms if they think this is believable. However, I'm enjoying Dr Cray Cray's antics and it is a welcome change from the mob mob mob stuff. Yes I can still FF through the show in about 15-20 minutes but when it was all mob I could FF through the show in 10 minutes. Are they going to pull a magic rabbit out of their hats (or some body part) for November sweeps? I say no way.

FYI - Liz didn't drown from being cholorformed and tossed overboard because the foam rubber in her bra acted like a life preserver and she popped up to the surface like a cork ;)

Let me get this straight -- Port Chuck has always supposed to be in upstate NY. (Last week when LuLu saw Dante's caller ID on her phone, it said area code 716. Hello Buffalo!) So this isn't the friggen ocean the boat is on...it's one of the Great Lakes. Do you know how cold it is on that water this time of year? Can't any of these writers check it out. (Stop laughing.) If Steve and Olivia went skinny dipping for real, they'd be risking hypothermia because the average lake temperature this time of year is 55 degrees. Anthony would probably be fish bait before Maxie dragged him out of the water. My point is this is another symptom of lazy, nonsensical writing.

JPink--LOL! For real, I compare watching GH to mundane household chores too! Can I have it on in the back while I fold laundry? While I get ready for work? Doing the dishes? Honestly, right now it's not on at all because I can't even do chores while watching because my hands are busy FFing thru most of it.

OLTL on the other hand...I limit myself to watching on YouTube in the morning while I work out...and I've definitely lost a few pounds since RH came back as Todd because OLTL is Must See TV!

Hi Karen: As you know I stopped watching last Thursday. I really do feel better. I was so disgusted by what they were hoping we would watch out of loyalty. I've watched since day one. I never thought I wouldn't watch.

I just refuse to show my support for a show that has abandoned their fans.

If they do continue online with people who care, I would love to see a good GH again.

I didn't watch Wednesday's GH until I had some time this morning. I think actually watching it took maybe ten minutes.

The Sonny/Kate stuff bored me to tears and all I basically got out of it was that Sonny seemed to be blaming Kate that he went into the mob. Basically, "If you hadn't left me..." Yeah, sounds about right!

Was it me, or was Mac asking a whole bunch of stupid questions on Wednesday? As someone else said, the boat scenes were in disarray and the point, I guess, was to make everyone a suspect in "Who killed Lisa." At this point, Emma could have done it!

I guess the NuDoc Ewan is the one who saved Liz before Spin found her, but she doesn't remember.

Luke...stupid line of the day. He basically told Alexis she was a lot more fun before she became a mom. Huh??? You just KNOW a man wrote that lipdrool! I guess the writers have the same attitude toward marriage too because a couple, like Jasam, immediately turns into a snorebore once they say "I do" on this show.

Sean to Carly..."What can I do for you?" "Well, since Jason got married and I am pretending to be ok with that, I need a replacement person to validate everything I do and listen to my dramatic rants...are ya up for the job, Sean?" Sort of what I got out of the scene!

Isn't sweeps time soon? If they are trying to give us a lead up to it, they are not exactly doing a bang up job of it. Sounds like the 60's...with GH, lots of viewers are tuning out, turning off and dropping out!

Luke would say something stupid and meaningless like he did. I zone him out and concentrate on Alexis. He is useless. What does he know about parenthood?

I don't believe Lisa is dead yet. There is still plenty of life left in her.

Sean & Carly. As a HUGE Carly fan, I can't even stomach these scenes. It isn't working with them. Bring Jax back. Today. If you don't want Jax back, then write the couple off together..Shawn isn't going anywhere.....

Yep sweeps is next week I think. Who wants to bet someone forgot to tell TPTB at GH??

Daytime Emmy winner, Robin Strasser (Dorian) took to twitter last night and revealed that she is headed to Los Angeles to work on her next career moves, and will not be joining One Life to Live when it moves to Prospect Park.

Robin tweeted: “It’s DEF! moving to LA soon. NO “prospect” in NY, so I’m heading West:) where I have a real pretty house. NO pity pot- it’s pool party time!”

My2Cents2 said... All the best to one of the finest actors to grace television. OLTL’s loss will definitely be someone else’s gain. They just don’t make them like the divine Ms. Strasser anymore.

What a shame that Frank Valentini and his headwriter do not value this actress and the character she played with such delight. The fans certainly value her.