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The Tip.It Times

27th October 2005Issue 199gp

Call me a noob. I don't care.

Written by sligo and edited by Tip.It

I'm relatively new to the online culture of video games. Which, from my experience, is rather interesting since the online culture of video games is relatively new as well. However, it is old enough that for some participants, it's all they know. They don't know the days of Prodigy and CompuServe. They weren't around when the rage was BBS's and downloading cool games from Apogee. Heck, they don't remember the days when a home computer was a TRS-80 or a TI-99/4A and there was no such thing as a network.

I do. So when I thrust myself into the world of online gaming a little over a year ago, I had some learning to do: chat-box shorthand (my name for it), or hacker-speak or leet-speak, or whatever you call it; the difference between SHOUTING and talking; and how to bypass the online censors in order to just say what I want to say, even though I'm not using profanity (try saying “5 hits” in Runescape. You can't.)

This isn't to say I'm not unfamiliar with computers. Back in the “day,” I could make a Tandy 1000 do things no one else ever dreamed of, and my high score in TI-Invaders was better than anyone I knew. I played the online BBS games where you had fifteen minutes to do your turn then you'd better log off so the next player could dial up, log in, and do his turn. And, oh, the friends I made on the chat/forum style BBS's.

Anyway, I had to learn exactly what a “noob” was, since people kept calling me that. Obviously it was an insult, but what does it mean? So, being the responsible, resourceful, intelligent adult I am, I made an assumption. I figured “noob” referred to someone who was new to the game. So after I'd been playing RS for several months people still called me a “noob.” What's the deal?

Now it's time for some real research. Using Google I found lots of definitions and interpretations. However, they all boil down to these two:

A person who behaves in a manner that appears to be new to the game, is immature, and/or obviously hasn't bothered to read the rules.

A person who calls other people a “noob” when they, in fact, are the noob (reference to definition #1). Usually because the other person has offended them in some way.

So what's the deal? Name-calling has reached a new low. Name-calling isn't new, of course. However, most of the “names” people have used over the ages have been placed on the censor list and are considered offensive. I've seen people beg Jagex to put the word “noob” on the censor list as well. If they did, what would happen? Human nature being what it is, we'd simply come up with a new word to describe people we don't like. People would try different words until one became popular, and within a year or two, players would be begging for that word to be banned as well.

So why fight it? I say don't waste your time and energy. The time it takes to argue about whether you are or aren't a noob is about the same amount of time it would take to read the rules.

There will always be new players in the game, and there will always be immature jerks. Just like there will always be hackers and scammers, but that's another topic entirely. All I can say is just apply a layer of Teflon coating to your bronze plate and have fun playing the game. It's why we joined in the first place, right?

Below, is a song by the title of "Noob Anthem" that is written to the tune of "Mercedez Benz", by Janis Joplin.

Oh lord, won't you give me some free stuff please?
My friends all ignore me, I must be diseased
Lost all my good stuff, got hacked by a sleaze
So lord, won't you give me some free stuff please?

Oh lord, won't you give me an abysmal whip?
And while you're at it, I'll take membership
I wait here in Lumbridge, so don't give me lip
So lord, won't you give me an abysmal whip?

Oh lord, won't you give me a few million gold
I'll trade some charcoal and a tiara mould
This waiting ‘round here is sure getting old
So lord, won't you give me a few million gold

Everybody!
Oh lord, won't you give me some free stuff please?
My friends all ignore me, I must be diseased
Lost all my good stuff, got hacked by a sleaze
So lord, won't you give me some free stuff please?

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