giveaways by...

- needs research -

currently...

listening to:

piano

Usher

Jay Sean

watching:

Hell's Kitchen s6

Amazing Race s16

Gossip Girl

HIMYM

Community

Modern Family

Human Target

White Collar

inspiration

"I crave for the essence of written words to show who I am without showing my face, to speak for me when the joys and heartache in life leave me speechless, and to comfort me with the knowledge that someone somewhere feels the same as I dowhen my world is a mess."

...

my eye candy

snoopy jigsaw puzzle :D we finished it!! <3

Friday, June 11, 2010

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I currently live with two other roommates T and N, both of whom are frantically preparing their personal statements to send in with their med school applications. T unfortunately does not write very well... Tonight, she asked another friend and myself to read her draft and offer opinions. I'm no expert, but even I couldn't help thinking it needed lots of work... Anyway, during the session, she referred to two sample personal statements from two other people, both of which were undeniably more polished than her own. I realized that one of the essays belonged to N, so I asked if they were helping each other on their statements. I was a little surprised because they hadn't really been talking to each other much about med school at all.

No wonder. Our other friend let slip (probably to T's dismay) that N did not actually know T had a copy of her essay. T had basically stolen it off her laptop one day while no one was at home. She justified it by saying that she was freaking out at the time because she hadn't started writing anything and needed to read someone else's stuff to "get inspiration".

As a friend, I suppose, for the most part I'm expected to be supportive and all that. I didn't say anything about it then and there, but I couldn't help wondering if she's ever rifled through MY things, or violated MY privacy in any way. If she could do it to one roommate, she could also do to the other, right? I was rather shocked, although I do remember one time last year when she admitted she's stolen from multiple clothing stores on multiple occasions..... The other girl wasn't as shaken by what T did, but I might be judgmental because I've personally been on the other end, where I have had personal files deliberately taken, by someone I really trusted, for malicious purposes. So it's become a sensitive issue for me. Not to mention I don't approve of what she did... it's just not cool, it's like cheating kinda. :(

Oh well, not my place to judge... learned something more about T tonight that still shocks me even after the 3 years that we've grown close. I will simply keep it in mind and be very careful of my belongings.... even this post, I must remember not to keep my blog open.....haha, half kidding.....

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I didn't write a post then, but a week ago, I decided to break up with W. College graduation is drawing ever nearer (3 more weeks), and it will soon come time for us to physically separate. I feel I have neither the confidence nor the ability to preserve our relationship on a long-distance basis. In addition, looking towards the long run, he may not be "the one", at least not the way he is now - he is still very immature in many ways. So, at the time, I knew what I wanted, and that he was not it, and I did not hesitate to bring it up. I told him that I am doing this now because I wanted to give us some time, while we were still able to see each other, to get mentally prepared and used to being close friends. Unfortunately, because the breakup was so civil and because we are attempting to keep things friendly, I find things haven't changed much since last week. We still check in with each other now and then, and pop by each others' places for quick visits (as we are neighbors). He still attends to my needs, down to the most miniscule of details, and hanging out with him, albeit just briefly each time, still makes me feel blessed, loved, and warm inside.

Do I wonder if I'm making the wrong decision letting him go? Every day.

Of all the guys I have dated, W definitely sets the standard for being the most dependable, most sincere, most caring. I won't ever forget how hard it was for us in the beginning when it all started, and all the troubles we've had, but through it all, he never gave up and did his best for me all the time. I can only say that I am at fault, for not being able to overlook his "faults", despite how great he is. We've decided that this is an indefinite break, with high possibility of going at it again in the future after we've settled our paths and found our places in this world, and who knows, maybe he will have matured then. But for right now, we have other priorities, and I want to give myself some more chances to experience the world around me.

I know what it is I have decided to do. It's just so hard to stand by my decision when I know so well what kind of a guy I am letting go of. It's hard to imagine that there will be anyone else out there like him...