If you're making a movie about kids meeting an alien, it's probably semi-compulsory to include a flying-bicycle scene, as an E.T. shout-out. But nowadays, you can make the effects look way cooler. Right? Right Or... not. Witness this hideous example.

This clip comes from 2005's No Place Like Home, which features an all-star cast, including Judge Reinhold, arguably cinema's most famous masturbator. The alien is played by Geoff Stults (Happy Town), who only learns English towards the end of the movie — a lot of the cinematic action is taken up by Stults running away from the high-larious redneck Deputy "Dead" Ned and an uptight federal agent (Joanne Pacula), who Judge Reinhold high-lariously insinuates is a lesbian because she doesn't enjoy his good-natured sexual harrassment. Meanwhile, Stults must learn our ways, which mostly involves kissing first a magazine page and then the blonde girl, played by Alana Austin. And there's a high-larious scene where the kid with the bandana accidentally flies around using Stults' light saber-y power rod. (Don't touch Geoff Stults' rod. It ought to be a warning label.)

Anyway, the bicycle scene is the true highlight, thanks to how little effort they go to to make it appear that the bikes are actually flying. Show some wheels hovering above the ground? Check. Show an image of the road, from the view point of the riders, looking like you're gliding along it? Check. Show an image of Alana Austin's face shot from below, as if she's hovering? Check check check. What more could you possibly ask for?

All of a sudden Spielberg looks like even more of a wizard than ever. [IMDB]