EU ban sale of Laughing cow cheese to Russia

The European Union has banned the sale of Laughing Cow cheese to Russia as part of a range of tough new sanctions aimed at making Russian President Vladimir Putin think twice about his megalomania.

Known as La Vache Qui Rit in France, La vaca que rie in Spain, and up until now at least Весёлая Бурёнка (Vessiolaia Bourionka) in Russia, the popular processed cheese snack will be most likely withheld from Moscow, though deliveries to Kiev are thought to be continuing unabated.

The move has been criticised by the Kremlin, with the Russian ambassador to Britain going on record to say “Denying Russia the chance to eat processed cheese triangles that vary in name according to their country of intended sale will be counter-productive and will make any situation in Ukraine worse rather than better. This is just another example of sabre rattling by the west.”

On Monday Putin urged his country’s defence industry chiefs to rely less on foreign dairy components and source more raw ingredients, to make tin foil triangle wrappings and of course a cartoon picture of a cheerful bovine, in Russia.”

The British Government have been accused of hypocrisy by the Government of France where laughing cow cheese is produced. “The British Government admonish us, yet London is a haven for Russian Oligarchs munching away on Dairylea slices without the slightest fear of reprisals.”