Tag: Robert Covington

Robert Covington is who comes up when you type “slow start” into the Googles. Check out these three-point shooting lines from the first few games of the season: 0 of 4, 0 of 5, 2 of 8, 1 of 9. Those lines are pretty awful, awful enough where you could make a case that if…

Robert Covington is shooting a shade over seven threes per game this season. Only a few players can claim to surpass that number, and they all make sense: Curry, Thompson, Harden, and Lillard. Kyle Lowry and Paul George are pretty close. However, over his last seven games, Covington has shot the following amounts of threes:…

OFFICIAL NBA FOREHEAD WRINKLES POWER RANKINGS 1. Robert Covington 2. Uh… Devin Booker? 3. I don’t even know I just thought it would be funny to point out how expressive Robert Covington’s forehead wrinkles are and I didn’t really think this whole thing through and I just wanted people to laugh and have fun at…

I want to see Robert “English Nobility” Covington play in a good situation. That’s what I want to see. Right now he is probably a bottom-five starting SF in the league (Alonzo Gee is definitely worse at least), but that’s more due to the garbage that surrounds him than due to any fault of his…

In any NBA season where Stephen Curry was not a participant, 7 threes would be a notable occurence. People would get excited for it, and people would consider the player who hit so many threes to be one of the premiere shooters in the league. But in an NBA season where Stephen Curry IS a…

Robert Covington may be long gone from the Rockets (they could use him now I bet), but remnants of their teachings still remain. In this game he exemplifies their offensive strategy perfectly: shoot a lot of threes and draw a lot of fouls. James Harden, get out your notebook. Covington got off to a fast…

O Baller of Terror, Black Man, He-Who-brings-the-defenders-to-justice, 76er of Brett, Turn not Your forehead-wrinkles against us. We bend our arms to You, We fall on our bellies before Your red rage, No team can withstand the fire of Your righteousness. Turn not Your forehead-wrinkles against us. The weak cry out to You, The sick pray…

Story of the 76ers season: at the end of tonight’s game against the Rockets the commentator says “Another heartbreaking loss!” as the camera cuts to a shot of a smirking Isaiah Canaan. Not so heartbreaking, is it? Really makes one think… Alright, I’m done with the conspiracy theories. Lets talk about the concrete, the observable,…

Looking into Robert Covington’s forehead wrinkles is akin to gazing into the black ocean of the stars, each ridge of his skin a wave of cosmic truth. What insight can we gain? I feel on the cusp of incredible knowledge, locked away inside the wrinkles. Give me strength on this journey to enlightenment.

Adam Silver paced behind his desk, running his hands over his head, as if wanting to pull at hair that wasn’t there. An assortment of high-ranking NBA executives sat nervously before him, waiting for the silence to be broken. “Thirteen games. Thirteen games last night,” Silver said in an emotionless, monotone voice. He had stopped…