God of Cricket ! Top 10 reasons why Sachin Tendulkar is God

Disclaimer : This article was written on 29th Mar2011, 4 days before the cricket World cup final between India and Srilanka on 2nd April. The facts or fables in this article are as heard from different sources. Author takes no responsibility for statistical accuracy of incidents. Any change in your religion after reading this should be your own mature decision. Author wont entertain claims of losses from religious heads for exodus of believers from their existing faiths to one and only Supreme LIVING god.

Sachin Tendulkar definitely is one of the most prolific run getters in International cricket. He is an astute and consistent performer who continues to deliver at an age where people start looking for retirement plans, cataract surgery or marriage of their children . The matters of faith( Religion, Politics and Cricket) in India , however run to extremes and he is coronated as ‘God’ . I have heard some beautiful things about him :

1 When god played Shoaib Akhter for the first time he was clean bowled and his middle stump rattled. You should remember, this is an avatar ..Ravans can always steal a cherry or more..

2. When god was chosen to lead , he said he couldnt handle the pressure of captaincy and wanted to concentrate on batting. God knows what he should do. HE once chose to be a Saarathi ( Charioteer) in a famous battle rather than fight .

3. When the team was going through the crisis, Coach Greg Chappel told God that the team needs you to bat at #4. God said ,” I want to open” . The coach said , ” Its not what you want! Its where the team needs you “. God was silent, he waited for few minutes and then again said , ” But I want to open “. God used one of his Bhakts in BCCI to ensure that HIS interests can prevail above that of team.

4. Some year back it was 4th day of match and God was playing at 170* and had added only 10 runs in next hour. The Captain Dravid , sent a message to speed up. God had his mind set up at his double century which he thought will come in few hours. The captain declared the innings closed. The God was shaken and bruised. India went on to win the test match. Two years later, the God said that he still has pain of not having completed the Double century. Dont tell me gods dont cry or sulk. Rama had cried blood in his tears when beloved Sita was taken away from him

5. God wanted to avoid paying customs duty for the Ferrari he got in return of endorsement. How audacious !!! Have you ever collected tax of Mandir Chadhava( Temple Offerings ) ? May the custom officials be consigned to HELL for this blasphemy

6. God in the World cup final against Australia in 2003 found that chasing 359 was too much of pressure and came back to pavillion in the first over itself. Antardhyan ( Disappearance ) is one of the arts of god

7. The Bhakts of God said, ” God will win the world cup for India ” , God is still trying to make a mark. In the semi final his strike rate was 75 where as Nawaab scored at the Strike rate of 150+ . God played with mercy of 4 dropped catches and comfortably went back to dressing room leaving the team reeling at 185/5 .. Another onslaught and we could have lost last 5 wickets at 10 a piece to end up at 230. It was Raina who added those vital 29 to 30 runs which made the difference[ India actually won by 30 runs]. At the end , however if you have slightest chance of giving Man of Match to God , how can you give it to others ? After all God’s devotees are all over; ICC president , BCCI president … The Bombay mafia in cricket willalways ensure god gets his due; fair and unfair should not be asked. Gods must get the first sweet whenever possible, impossible, regardless. // incidentally he failed miserably in the finals but was quick on the ground lifeted by chamchas as if he had won the finals

8. God opened up a restaurant and failed. => Gods can fail.

9. God fires up against chickens like Kenya, Canada, Holland whenever he meets them on dead pitches. He has towering records against them. There he shows Viraat avatar

10 God is yet to save a test match for India or find a victory from brink of defeat… what we call a Chamatkar.. Incidentally, he doesnt figure any where in the list of 5 greatest cricketers of the century . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisden_Cricketers_of_the_Century HE is god after all , his pedestal cant be in list of mortal cricketers like Bradman, Sobers or Richards. Wisden has not felt the need to christen ‘God of Cricket’ cause there is no contender. Lets garland him , he is beyond cricket.// 15 Mar12 : His inability to prevent 7 straight losses in England and Australia clearly that you cant expect to please GOD on fast pitches. Mediation happens only on slow, grass less flat pitches of sub continent and Sharjah, which dont even turn. Lord Narasimha decimated Hiranya kashipu at a right place at right time. HE settles for nothing less

The real religious chants follows on in the comments section 😉

PS : the 11th bonus, god decided which series ,games HE should play to make his 100th 100 sexy.. He tried it during tests in England tour ( Avoiding onedays ) and Australia tour ( Oh the Devils of Australia ) but it didnt work out. Flat is beautiful and what other honorable opponent than Bangladesh to achieve this feat. Incidentally india lost that match too. He explained the loss gracefully (Tooti sapaat wicket par, maine apna bhutta seka, Team ko jeetaaney kya liya hai maine theka ?) On a broken flat pitch I got my means; Is it any of my concern to have the team win ?

Edit : 18 Nov 2013 God was not willing to retire and increase his career earnings but selectors threatened to drop him. When he was a non performer for over 12 tests , he agreed to retire IF ( he plays against a very weak opposition at as flat wickets as possible and is able to complete one more individual milestone i.e 200 Tests , team concerns be damned )

Edit 31Jul2016 : God wanted a Bharat Ratna, it was not possibble to give it to a sports person, so he greased the asses of Corrupt Congis to get himself a Rajya sabha ticket as a Congi nominee. Within few months of accepting it, he got the Ratna award. he immediately started negliecting his duties as Rajya Sabha MP. One author Chandral Thakor writes succinctly on how he was equally useless as a Rajya sabha MP. Read on :

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Hope is a very weak word. Its doesnt inspire confidence. Its like a drowning man clutching a straw on with a hope. I have listed occasions and it has been proved that he was a chicken on big occasions like Finals. People never had confidence that he will win the match for the country, they never had confidence that he kept team interests above his selfish interests. He also kept his ugly personal interests above national interests when even at height of corruption he connived with Congis to get RS nomination from them and then disgraced Bharat Ratna as award. Its clearly documented how this selfish man was as ugly performer in Rajyasabha because that didnt serve his selfish interests.

Even Bradman hasn’t faced the kind of bowling attack sachin faced. If the so called match winners you described had faced the kind of bowlers sachin faced they probab
ly should have the record for having most number of golden ducks

Boy, go and read about Bodyline series. Sachin has never endured preadatory bowling which opened up skulls ( Nari contractor) or we genuine pace ( Jeffo, Holding, Garner, Marshal ). Probably you are a bachcha born in 80s or nineties who grew up op pop corn cricket and are still passionate about this stupid game of cricket or IPL .. grow up boy ..and watch some real sport

By reading your article l’am f***ing sure you dont know a thing about cricket.Have any one of today’s cricket faced vasim akram or vaqar unis at the age of 17 .Sachin faced the best bowling attack the world has ever seen and he has managed to score tons of runs against them.that’s what makes him one of the best.You ask any cricketing genius the top 5 cricketers list of all time I’am damn sure sachin will be there

You have pointed out the truths …but will the followers ever see that….nope …never …they are blind….dont blame them….and that is how a religion is got….you must have got yours like this only ….man’s gods are never put to scrutiny….period

Just one question: I Think sachin and CRICKET has done wat many religion inIndia could not do, uniting people.Wen it comes to cricket,people come together forgettin all religious differences…lets not spoil anyones faith and trust coz its done a lot of gud things to india.

True legend he is..cricket is our religion.sachin is our god..
GOod try anyway..

Uniting people ??? There are lot of vices which can unite people. Smokers unite, rapists unite, the politicians unite to screw the nation.
A thing like Cricket does more harm to the nation then good. The companies which excel in other sports are much well off than the third rate countries which play Cricket( I mean England and Aussies are not first rate countries any more).
If like a parrot you have to blurt out cliche’ viz, legend, religion, god, I have true sympathies for your intellect.
All the best 🙂

yes anu you are right sachin is not God he is simple man like you n me. He is just a player like any other players of different games. He never said himself as God. He never said i won this match. He never said anything he only played. People worship Rajnikanth i have heard there is a temple for kushbu in Tamil nadu. Neither Rajanikanth nor kushbu asked anybody to worship them. They just act in their movies. Its the people who call them so and so. I hope you may be aware of the fact that there are many who debate that Mohandas karamchand Gandhi is not mahathma but at the same time many still worship him read him follow him. Some feel jesus as god others allah some others claim only vishnu is god. Who is god according to you then. Nobody is god. Its the people who claim some as god because God has no form or no shape of his/her own. People see him / her in many forms. Some in snakes some in trees some in nature some in persons and some others in something else. If Andra people call NTR as god do you have any problem. Do you have any problem if jesus son of mary is worshsed as god. I too can list 10 faults of any god and can argue that some one is not god. But Is it necessary. If you are against sachin you may well be against many other gods of our country or the world. If you feel to enlighten the world about falsehood of all gods go ahead. . . This world has place for everybody from jesus to osoma. Remember God is just a faith not a reality. God can never be judged on scientific lines. Stop ridiculing people’s faith. You wont get anything other than hurting their faith. If some one sees god in trees let him see. You just cant hurt or insult the fans of Amithab Sharukh or madhuri. Whom you have referred ash Bhakths are not really bhakths in true sense they are fans. . Its very unfair of you that you have only seen the fans sachin you should also see the fans of MGS NTR Dr. RAJ KUMAR DILIP KUMAR etc. Expecting your articles on all gods . . Thanks in advance .

sachin had scored most centuries against the aussies which u describe as devils…
sachin has scored 100 against all test playing nations nly the second player after s.waugh to do it…he had won the matches from the brink of defeat…that 175 mi8 not won the match but that match he is the reason for cmng so close…do u forget sachin’s 241 against australia in australia’s perth monster?sachins first century against engaland itself is a match saving victory…

You pathetic b*****…you don’t even know what you are blabbing against whom.

Write millions of such articles, he will still be the best,
Blab all you want you cowardly rats, and he will still be the best cricketer of all time.

There is no one who has given India so much as he has. In all the cricketing countries, India is now popular (in good terms, previously it was just poor image of India), just because of this one man. He has provided food, shelter and much more to poor children.

Don’t utter crap out of your mouths talking that he has delivered only in sunlight and not in dark times. Go and check the records book from ESPN or crickinfo. Many a times he has won victoires single handedly…and those didnt seem dark times to you because he made it all easy.

No matter what u guys say he is the greatest cricketer ever ! Getting 100 centuries is pretty much Impossible 🙂 scoring a 200* is also almost impossible ! Playing for 23 years is out of thinking do u guys think anything will happen to sachin if u say stuff like that ? No he will keep scoring centuries :)) hail sachin sir 😀

Yes you are right, from the bathroom of god we must have a pipe from where his ablutions should emerge every morning. Drinking this, the devotees will derive a lot of vitality. This will be one of its kind god worship and willl boost tourism. We had one more display of great feat. Against the deadliest of bowlers ever born on one of the most dangerous pitch god almost helped the team win a match, till devil played the spoil sport. SHIT happens

Mr. Purohit,
Every individual has his/her liking, so, do you and I.
Some, like you, are anti-God of Cricket believe.
But is really sensible to satire so much to a legend like SACHIN TENDULKAR whom billions consider as the God of Cricket.
Dear, you can witness that your post has got so much of replies just because the God of Cricket is linked to it.
Still you doubt it- then post any article based on any other cricketer, you will know the fact.
An article on the God of Cricket will garner a good number of comments. People ‘critics’ like you depend on some other person’s deed. GREAT JOB!

All the Best for your carreer.

But SACHIN TENDULKAR is the only player regarded as the GOD and your posts can never change the fact but will certainly make you and your posts famous.

So, be thankful to the God of Cricket atleast at the deepest corner of your heart.

The so called God is only enjoyin soo mch support due to shallowness of Indian Cricket fans.
The fail to notice the fact that india got knocked out of Asia cup because the SO-CALLED God considered his 100TH ton more important than the Asia cup.
He ws satisfied getting his ton in 147 balls. while all the oder batsmen scored at the strike rate of over 100.
So i would like to ask was the 100th ton really worth an exit from Asia cup?????

This is amazing…every time I see the little shit coming in to bat..a voice inside me says that he can go back anytime…it’s hard to rely on him..but whatever fame he has in our country speaks more about our people than him…we as a nation have a habit of following..no wonder we have 84000…000, gods and plus we need real life examples as well..thats why e tendulkars and rajnikants…I’m sure if tendulkar would have been an Australian he would be working as a bartender as he would have been kicked out in 90s..but then again god would have seen that as a chance to serve as a mere mortal…

Please read the disclaimer at the start of blog post. There is no place for trolling on this blog. Humor/ black humor , satire of any type is welcome. Bootlicking , mindless hero worship fueled by media hype and endorsement companies has turned Indians into consuming shit, spending endless hours on a non sport called Kooda Kircut..

Well, the blog is not denigrating Tendulkar. Its bringing in all the facts and reinforcing in minds of people that he is the only true supreme god.
Go ahead, wash his feet and lick his ablutions, it will make your life.
Have fun

Aftr the tiring world cup the so called “GOD” made millions of fans happy by winning the world cup in HIS home ground ( well the God cn evn manipulate venues). Shdnt the God hv rested during the more tiring bt money yielding IPL n opted in for west indies tour so tat he wouldnt hv bn rusted n up fr the England tour!!!!!!

Dear, Mr. Purohit, you can keep having faith or beliefs which your heart feels are true..but i would like to get one fact to your notice…
you said the WISDEN didn’t even name sachin tendulkar in best cricketers of the century… agreed.. you backed your claim with reference link… but let me ask you “did u read that Wikipedia page properly???”
because the page clearly mentions “The Wisden Cricketers of the Century are five cricketers who were judged to be the most prominent players of the ’20th century’……….
………Modern asian greats “Muttiah Muralitharan” and “Sachin Tendulkar” were “exempt” as they” played bulk of their cricket in the 21st century.”……
i dont have issue if some one is posting the truth, but its totally unethical on your to published a morphed truth or a misinterpreted truth…..
you must be aware of the old saying “beauty lies in the beholders’ eyes”… its as we see things… if i dont see BRADMAN as great then that does not decrease the feats achieved by bradman…same way what we say doesn’t change tendulkar’s achievements

I valued your observation and revisited the wiki page and could find nothing you are claiming : I guess you were so hurt by reading the 9 facts and truths that the 10th one got you really exasperated into not reading the page properly.The statement which exists is

“There was also a big controvery when the choices were announced. Accusations were made by several sections of media that the list was biased. The panellists did not select any players from Asia or Africa, omitting highly-regarded players from these regions such as Imran Khan, Graeme Pollock and Sunil Gavaskar.” and your beloved doesnt even figure in the controversy.

Now you can check your premises, prejudices and paradoxes and ethics again 🙂

The defense which you bring in of 21st century got me rolling on the floor laughing . Shane Warne too played in the same era and he is at #4.. If your mathematics is still right, then from 1989 to 2000 he played 11 years and 2000 to 2011 also 11 yrs. In the earlier half of 21st century he healed his shoulders, injuries or right now enjoying himself not playing . ( Having counted his millions playing IPL) .

” 5. God wanted to avoid paying customs duty for the Ferrari he got in return of endorsement. How audacious !!! Have you ever collected tax of Mandir Chadhava( Temple Offerings ) ? May the custom officials be consigned to HELL for this blasphemy

6. God in the World cup final against Australia in 2003 found that chasing 359 was too much of pressure and came back to pavillion in the first over itself. Antardhyan ( Disappearance ) is one of the arts of god”
——————————————————————————
1. He didn’t get a Ferrari in return for endorsement. That was a gift to commemorate his feat of levelling Bradman’s record of 29 centuries.
2. Who got us to the finals of the effing WC in 2003?

Hi Avadhut,
Thanks for giving another perspective. I on first thought agreed with what you so briefly said. On thinking deeper I was wondering : Do I really need to be as big as Pastor to tell people that Pastor is sexually exploiting women ? Do I need to be a minister to comment that A Raja is looting the treasury ? Do I really need to be as big as Rajnish to express my views that he is not ‘Bhagwan’ and Sex is not the way to salvation.

As a rational human being I tend to objectively analyze whether the myths are real and they stand robust to objective and scientific inquiry. Sathya Sai baba for all his greatness constantly avoided scientific scrutiny of how he could create ‘Gold’ out of air. Well even if i am not as great as Late Sai Baba, does it prevent me from expressing my thoughts that matter ( particularly gold) cannot be created out of nothing ?
it hurts when suddenly some one attacks our long held beliefs that earth is flat. We may pelt stones at him. He may not be wrong and doesnt need to be as big or great as earth 😉

In the latest issue of India Today, the editor Aroon Purie recounts the world cup victory. He recounts some god forsaken 175* of Kapil Dev in 1983, Dhoni’s innings in the finals as great exploits. Off course God appeared for non cricketing reasons ” Riding the devotees” in victory lap.

For his lack of Cricket understanding do we name Mr Purie as Ignoramus or burn the copies of India today ? Thats a big question

Absolutely agree…here is some more reading..
Nibor Dooh: The Bane of India
Saibal Mitra

As any Indian, who loves cricket, I rejoiced when India won the IIC World Cup after almost three decades. Living abroad, I got up at 3 am in the morning, drove twenty miles with a child and dog in tow to my friend’s house so that I could watch the action live. My cry of anguish was heard by all in that room when Gambhir lost his head at 97 and hoops of joy filled the room when Dhoni hit that winning sixer. It’s all stuff of history, no doubt.

I knew that the players would also hit a well-deserved financial jackpot. Endorsement deals, prize money would flow. What I was not prepared for the Nibor Doohs of India -our politicians – would raid the state treasury to transfer wealth from the poor (the Indian taxpayers) to these rich, pampered players. For starters, the state of Uttarakhand has announced that it will give a plot of land or a house to Sachin Tendulkar and Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Not to be outdone, the Chief Minister of Karnataka has promised a residential plot in Bangalore for each team member. Maharashtra’s Chief Minister has announced that the state government will honor players from Maharashtra Sachin Tendulkar and Zaheer Khan with a cash prize of Rs one crore and a citation while two members of the team’s support staff will be honored with Rs 50 lakhs each. Most state governments have offered their home-town players cash gifts of between 10 million and 20 million rupees.

As the legend goes, Robin Hood robbed the rich and gave the loot to the poor. It was his way of fighting against social injustice. Nibor Dooh, dear reader, is Robin Hood spelled in reverse. The Nibor Doohs of India raid the state treasury, money that belongs to the people of the state, generally poor and barely living above subsistence level, and then give it to the rich and powerful. The Nibor Doohs of India have been bleeding the country for quite a while – consider all the scams. They take what is not theirs and line their own pockets. What is more scary than this open corruption, is that the Nibor Doohs have directly assaulted the viability of Indian institutions. The police, the courts all have been affected. I am hard pressed to think of a single Indian institution that has not been untouched by scandals and scams. So it is indeed a small step for our Nibor Doohs to raid the larder and grab what is not theirs and give it away to those who are nowhere close to the poverty line. It does not even jiggle their conscience. They have, indeed, become, the bane of India.

This raises some very broad questions. Is this how the government spends money? Essentially by fiat. Are there no checks and balances? What about the press? Isn’t part of their role is to ask hard questions? What about the citizens themselves? Are they so blind that they neither see nor understand that they are being taken for a ride?

When I read these news reports, I cannot but presume that all potholes in Karnataka are fixed, all children in Uttarakand are being educated, that hospitals around the country are clean, safe and people have access to them, and that drinking water is safe and so on. That would be the India of my dreams and I keep dreaming.

So where does one go from here? The only way to stop this abuse is to sue the state governments and the Nibor Doohs (perhaps personally) and ask the courts to intervene. It is time that the corrupt heard the voice of the people. This would take time, money and, above all, commitment. I know there are plenty of people out there who are as frustrated as I am. They just need to step forward.

Congratulations Team India! To the team members I say, I wish you luck. Make all the money in the world. But let it all be private money. And if you have the heart, the will, and the character then please, when offered, very politely refuse to accept public money which should be for public use. Please don’t take what is not yours – that would truly make you world champions.

Are you all fools..
You call us world champions, where only bunch of countries play for the cup.
Its wrongly called as world cup.. it should be called cricket championship cup. or cricket world 12 cup.

Its not a question of failing to appreciate/accept greatness. In every act of this little master chronicled here, I see and express godliness. I am proud to extoll it and have conviction and grace to express it publicly.

Who has the courage to say -“God is not great” ? That will be a contradiction. The true devoteehood is to find more instances of godliness and sing panegyrics.

Please feel free to disagree and tell me why HE is not GOD. The comments section is open for this.

This final again was a big occassion with Lanka at 180/4 and blazing I had thought of a practical test case for godliness. SL should notch 270+ , there should be pressure and expectation. If God comes on his won , he should, if not win a match, rise up to occasion to defend atleast “G”.

It was not to be … as usual God shines in fair weather, but in dark situations he has to be antardhyan The pressure was a big ‘Bhakt’ and praying in LOO and gods are always there where the Bhakts call HIM. He was back quickly to the pavillion.

2 hours later, the dark clouds were gone and there again HE was available and was garlanded and on top of ‘Bhakts’ on his procession doing the victory LAP around the stadium. The captain was not be found anywhere. When asked why ? He said , the runs were all made by GOD , the cup was won by GOD, Main to kewal nimitt matra hoon.
So Mahabharat was enacted , the battle of Kurukshetra was actually won by Lord Krsna. Arjun was just a puppet in his hand. Long LIVE the god and his devotees. Bolo Sachi da Nand ki Jai

Actually I can provide 50 more such reasons why tendulkar is GOD … but i think he is really the GOD of centuries without any doubts … COZ he is only interested in counting centuries but not winning matches for India … Hail GOD …