About three months ago I managed to finally escape retail hell. I spent 19 months slaving for the same gas station, and it really was hell. I have so many stories I could share with you about my particular corner of hell, but I’ll start with a short one about an entitled customer.

First a little backstory: I live in a small village in New York, and we have the privilege of have 3, count em 3 prisons. The store I worked in happens to be a 24 hour gas station, so a fair share of our regulars are prison guards. They would come in before and after their shifts for coffee, smokes, and papers.

The crusty in question is a female guard, and I have never met a more entitled biotch. Now this crusty and I have had our fair share of encounters during my stay in hell, but this one really took the cake.

It was going on midnight and I see a familiar phantom pull into the parking lot. In walks the crusty guard, and she shoots me a nasty look as she heads towards our beer cooler. By the time she makes it to my register there is a person in front of her, a couple are directly behind her. As she places her beer on the counter she sneers at me.

Crusty Guard: “Do you need to see my fucking I.D.?” (Her exact words)

Me: “Yes ma’am, our store policy is we have to I.D. everyone who is purchasing beer.”

Crusty Guard: “You are so fucking rude, here see it!” She whips out her guard I.D. which she knows I can’t accept.

Me: “Ma’am I need to see a state issued I.D., such as a driver’s license, permit, non- driver’s I.D. or even a passport.” I’m gritting my teeth so hard I’m sure one is going to break.

Crusty Guard: “ This is a fucking state I.D. you idiot, I work for the God Damned state!”

Me:” Ma’am, as I have mentioned many times I can not accept an employer issued I.D.” The Crusty Guard finally shows me her driver’s license, and I ring out her purchase.

Crusty Guard: “That’s fucking bullshit you’re just fucking jealous because I have a real damn job and you work in a shitty gas station. (I’ll admit I finally lost my patience with this woman.)

Me: “A real job? So the paychecks issued to me are fictional? The taxes I pay don’t go to the state? I work my butt off in this store 35-40 hours a week, I support a family of four on this non-existent job!

Crusty Guard: “It’s not a real fucking job if you only make minimum wage.”

Me: “Everyone in this store makes more than minimum wage.( Which is oddly true, everyone starts out at $7.50) Not that it’s any of your business but I make $9.50 an hour.”

Crusty Guard:” You’re a rude liar, and I don’t have to take this shit from a welfare bitch.”

Me:” You’re right, you can take your purchase and leave the premises, and if you ever talk to me or any other co-worker that way again I will ban you from the store.”

Crusty Guard:” You can’t ban me you’re a fucking cashier!”

Me: “Right now I’m cashiering on this shift because the store needed it covered, but most day I lead this store on the second shift. If I ban you, trust me you’re banned.”

Me: ”Ma’am I fully encourage you to call my boss, tell her I did my job and properly I.D.’ed you, and that you caused a big scene, was using obscene and abusive language on one of her employees and did not leave when asked to, that’ll guarantee you a ban from the store.”

Crusty Guard:” Your fucking manager is going to fire you. You fucking stupid bitch.” And she heads for the door.

Me(In the most sickenly sweet voice): Have a wonderful evening and thank you for choosing our store.” I thought her damn eyes were going to pop out of her head.

The next customer in line’s first words were: “What a fucking bitch.”

The next morning when the store manager came in I told her everything that happened, she personally guaranteed me that if the Crusty Guard ever spoke to me again like that not only would she ban her, but she would call over to the prison the Crusty Guard works at and complain to her supervisor.(This was the best of the four managers we had during my stint in retail.)

Comments

I used to get work IDs when I asked people for an ID along with their credit card. I also had people try to use library cards--which don't even have a picture on them. It's like... really? And when you're buying alcohol? I doubt her work ID has her date of birth on it--which is what you NEED to prove her age for the transaction. Kind of scary that someone that dumb is in charge of convicts.

What is it about "It is a law that we have to ID customers who are purchasing alcohol" [which it is -- if a store doesn't ID customers and sells alcohol to someone who is underage, lots of bad things happen] that the idiots we have who invade our stores don't understand?

(Most of the fun stuff on that card is hidden in a microchip. Actually printed on it is my picture (at the time w/o beard), my name (with middle initial) and the expiration date. Nothing else. No address, no serial number, no birthdate...)

This pisses me off beyond belief! I have a stinkin' degree that means squat in this troubled economy and I work in retail to pay the bills. It's honest, goddamn work. I hate people who use their careers to frown upon hard workin' folk like us to make us feel inferior about it. There is nothing wrong with what we do. It's put food on the table and we pay our taxes. Enough said.

That security guard needs to know for once what it's like to financially struggle and then she has mouth to say something. Other than that, she needs to keep her high falutting' mouth shut or let her ass get shanked by the prisoners!