Before I jump into tonight’s new episode—“Mama Can You Hear Me?”—just a general observation: I have to wonder if any of these kids are taking classes or enrolled in college anymore? It certainly doesn’t seem that way, so why even keep up the pretense of having them grab coffee at CU when no one goes there! This is why you have a hangout like the Peach Pit or, ugh, Liam’s bar Offshore. I guess I shouldn’t judge too much, since I watched 90210 tonight in order to blog on it instead of the State of the Union. OK, now on to the drama of this episode!

Break-Up Blues: Austin is super bummed that Naomi officially ended things with him. Break-ups after one month of on-again/off-again dating are hard. Everyone is getting irritated at Austin’s constant playing of horrible country music—and by everyone I mean his free-loading roommates. Dixon goes so far as to say, “This is the sound track to my nightmares.” Oh, so now you know how we feel about your music, Dixon. But, at least Dixon tries to be a good friend to his buddy and cheer him up. And what better way than to take out some anger at Holly for ‘breaking them up’ (totally not the actual cause) by vandalizing the Kappa house where Holly is president. It starts as some old-fashioned egg-throwing and toilet-papering, which seemed like an idea from another decade. When Austin accidentally throws a rock through a window instead of an egg, they bolt the scene. The next morning Austin is grateful to Dixon for helping take his mind off of things, but then they read the news online (at least they check news!) that the Kappa house burned down last night. Uh oh. So, what are your theories? Do you think Austin’s rock knocked a candle over that caused a fire? Or was the fire a completely separate incident for which the boys will take the heat (haha, I am punny).

Night of a Thousand Chunks: Naomi continues to wow her boss by throwing awesome parties. It is certainly a magical office—where employees are praised for making copies and where lavish Hollywood parties are planned within 24 hours notice by interns (also, was Naomi really going to snail-mail invitations for a party that was the same day?). Anyways, Naomi is tasked with a huge event for the American Film Critics Association. In an effort to be a better person and help her arch-nemesis Holly reconcile with mom Rachel (i.e. Naomi’s boss), Naomi insists that Holly help with the event to prove to Rachel that she can be responsible. While the girls don’t trust each other at first, Holly begins to see that Naomi really does have her back. The two team up to fetch an actor for the event, who happens to be extremely drunk at his hotel. It is really a pathetic sight, considering this is a grown man literally plastered off of three girlie martinis. He is so drunk that he vomits all over the red carpet, causing blogs everywhere to nickname the event with choice titles like “Night of a Thousand Chunks.” The event may have been a bust, but Naomi’s defense of Holly gets the mother-daughter duo to reconcile. However, it costs Naomi her job. That’s OK—because Holly helps Naomi out with the celeb contact info and it now seems Naomi will launch her own business. Again, why are we even pretending that these kids go to college anymore? My other question: if Rachel is so adamant that Holly learn the value of hard work by forcing her to drive a barely functioning old clunker, how can Holly afford her designer wardrobe and expensive lifestyle? I guess the car is the one aspect that takes a massive hit in the funding department?

Pocahontas Pokes Around Where She is Not Wanted: For some ridiculous reason, Annie decides to dress like Pocahontas…in a poncho. What happened to that uber-slick Paris style you were sporting last week? I guess if you are about to spend the entire episode tracking your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend all around the city, you need to go with tribal attire. Annie explains to her friends that she (once again) ditched her college career at Carnegie Mellon because ‘ya know, like, the semester started already.’ Besides, now that she sees what a fraud Vanessa is, she feels it is her personal mission to confront Liam and win him back. How long will a college even hold admission for you anyways? Despite warnings from people like Ade (and if Ade is telling you that you have a problem, then you know it is legit), Annie goes off the deep-end in following Liam and the lying Vanessa. Ade even wins for best line of the night by telling Annie not to trust simple Internet searches: “I mean, if you Goggled me, you’d crap yourself” (at least Adrianna is self-aware). By the time Annie finds Liam and Vanessa in the latter’s old run-down hood, Vanessa has already confessed the truth about the hit and run. She also provides a sob story, explaining she comes from a tough upbringing. Obviously this wins her major points with Liam, making Annie look like the crazy one. The question that remains—do we believe Vanessa’s hard luck story? No way. Girl is hiding something and now has an even better handle to manipulate Liam.

From Maybe to Maizy: Silver had already figured out that Greg’s three-year old adopted daughter with his now ex-wife is Adrianna’s biological child she gave up back in high school. But little details like that don’t matter to Silver, who is soooooo into Greg after dating for a few short weeks that she is willing to move to NYC with him and his daughter. One, I love how all these people have jobs just thrown at them despite any evidence of skills or talent. Two, again we have a couple that is way too invested in a relationship after only a few dates. It is Navid who crosses paths with the happy couple and feels like he has met Greg before. While visiting Silver to try to make peace and be friends, he finally puts the pieces together when Greg takes a phone call from little Maizy. Silver has no intention of telling this information to Ade, which I totally get from her perspective since Ade did horrible things to her last year that are unforgiveable. Plus, as Silver explains, Maizy is not Ade’s responsibility—she gave her up for adoption. However, given that this is an incredible coincidence and that Ade is technically part of the wider friend group, it is odd not to mention this. It is especially awkward for Navid, who has a strong history with both Ade and Silver. He ultimately decides to not keep the secret and the episode ends with him presumably telling Adrianna that Silver is dating the man who adopted baby Maizy (and possibly moving to NY with them)!

Ivy and her photographer dude were also in the episode, but seriously they had nothing to do. Nick took photos and Ivy sulked with he got offered cool photo assignments in dangerous places abroad. Yawn. Bring back the dying Raj already! Overall, I have decided these kids all need some real jobs or at least more hobbies (stalking people does NOT count as a hobby—I’m looking at you Annie!) because they definitely have too much free time on their hands. Then again, I guess it is their lack of determination, skills, and intellect that keep me coming back every week for all the fun!

Thanks Kayleen! Glad you enjoy it 🙂 I must admit that blogging on 90210 is truly fun for me since I get to be a bit snarky. This show is definitely (one of my) guilty pleasures…but of course doesn’t even hold a candle to the awesomeness of the original series.