Well, here’s the thing: with my deep and abiding fiendship with Craig is at stake, I have to choose my words carefully. So let’s try this: what a wonderful…eh…exposition of Ozzie’s manifold talents. Clearly, this man is indispensable to Jerry Reinsdorf’s long-term business interests. No one could possibly sell tickets the way Ozzie does. Reinsdorf should waste no time signing him to a seven year extension with another ten or twenty years’ worth of incentive-laden option years at an exorbitant salary so that Ozzie would never even theenk of jumping ship to manage at Macondo Banana Massacre Field for Scrooge McLoria money, at least not until I am well into my second childhood and fully capable of appreciating Ozzie’s special jannessykwah the way I used to appreciate Ed Wood Jr.’s special genius as an auteur. He’d be completely wasted on me now.

Besides being oddly attracted to Florio, where is your ability to recognize a true character of the game? He is right up there with Leo Durocher, Billy Martin, Tom Lasorda and Casey Stengel. That character is part and parcel what makes him Ozzie. You don’t even need his last name and everyone knows who you are referring to. With all due respect to the great shortstop of the same first name.