With the rise of Match.com and other internet dating sites, the heyday of video dating may be long gone, but thanks to the good people at Grey Pop Productions, the magic lives on. They’ve uncovered a trove of old dating profiles from the 80s and have posted them online for our delight.

Meet Ronald F., a collector and purveyor of women’s shoes. He’s an avid knot-tier, gets turned on by tears, and loves musical theater. Something’s a little bit off about this guy.

Meet Joey V., a Christian rocker who’s all business during the day and incredible blond ringlets by night. He’s also quite a poet! If you love the Lord, this is the guy for you.

Meet Deborah, who reminds herself of “Geraldine Ferrera.” Fellas, get with her and you can mini-golf free forever! Just steer clear of her lips.

Meet Chip, an incredibly wealthy stockbroker. He owns his own cellphone! Are you ready to make an investment in yourself, ladies?

Meet Jerome, a true romantic with a knack for tearing tickets. Like Jumbo Size popcorn? Then Jerome’s your guy. He’s also got his own place — this weekend, anwyay.

Meet Charlie, a personal trainer seeking a toned and tanned woman. Easy on the confidence, though.

Meet Carrie, who’s looking for a serious man that can support her (and her sister). She’s looking for a healthy man who resembles Lou Diamond Phillips.

Meet Derrick, a skilled player of Dungeons and Dragons. He’s so humble and giving, he’ll cast spells of protection and not even hope to receive any credit. Are you ready for a magical love?

Meet Arnold, who loves his mother. He’s ready to spend his allowance on you, so don’t miss out!

Meet Lyle, a tech industry titan who loves popped collars and the Loggins look. Just imagine ladies, you can listen to smooth music on his boat while the tides of romance sweep you away.

Meet Roger, aka Racquetball Roger. He’s got a well-developed appreciation of the female form. As a professional bowler, he can treat you to many dinners at fancy restaurants!

I truly hope that Grey Pop Productions uncovers more of these incredible 1980s dating videos that definitely do NOT feature some of 2012’s finest comic talents. The Grey Pop team — Mitchell Bisschop, Jeff Galfer, Jeremy Cohen, Jason Baldari, and Brian Maillard — have done us all a true service by posting these gems. To stay tuned, Like Date-a-Max on Facebook.

RT @jon_bois: how come he blocked the ball when the guy was clearly trying to shoot it? i guess some folks can’t stand it when others succe… 3 years ago

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