So while I cannot pretend to speak for all millennials, I can tell you what my millennial friends and I want to see in your church.

1. Put millennials on stage.

When we go to church and see a bunch of gray-haired guys on stage and a bunch of gray-haired people in the crowd, we wonder if we fit in.

Find ways to get younger people on stage. And let a millennial pastor preach every once in a while.

If you don’t have one on staff (or at least as an elder or high-capacity volunteer), that may be part of the problem.

Show us that your church isn’t just an old-persons club, but a place that we can serve and use our gifts, too.

I know from experience how hard it is for millennials to break into ministry. We are starving for someone to give us a chance.

Just look at the churches that are reaching millennials and tell me if any of them don’t have young people on stage.

2. Be real with us.

We crave authenticity.

Don’t pretend like everything in life is rosy when you follow Jesus. If you do, we will know you’re fake.

You aren’t fooling anyone. We all know you aren’t perfect. We loathe imposters, and many of us are skeptical because church leaders can seem fake.

So quit talking to us like we are naive, and skipping around sensitive subjects.

Be uncomfortably vulnerable with us about your shortcomings and struggles in your faith. Tell us how you continue to wrestle with your imperfections while trying to follow Christ.

We want the ugly truth about the messy issues in life, even when it stings.

3. Embrace technology.

Stop pretending like it’s 1985 and we don’t all have smartphones in our pockets.

Technology has dated many practices of the church.

Stop asking everyone to fill out a physical communication card with a dull pencil when you can just ask us to send you a text, email, or fill out a quick form on your website.

Don’t ask us for our home phone number. Does anyone still have a landline? Just ask for a phone number and assume it’s a cell phone.

Also, just so you know, most millennials don’t carry cash anymore. Many of us can hardly remember the last time we saw a checkbook. We use debit cards (or even our phones) and pay bills online. So it’s awkward when you pass an offering plate and don’t give us an option to give online.

I could list a hundred more examples.

If nothing else, start here: Update your church website and make it the central hub for all church information, registration, and giving.

4. Use visuals.

Like it or not, we are a visual generation.

It’s harder than ever for a preacher to hold our attention. But we are drawn to pictures and video. Please use them.

If you are talking about a location in the Bible, show us a picture of the area.

If you are preaching about an abstract concept, find a concrete way to demonstrate it.