June 16, 2011

Anthony Weiner spoke over a rowdy and disrespectful crowd member this afternoon, resigning from the United States House of Representatives. He spoke first of his mission to represent the New York middle class, but admitted, “The distraction that I have created has made that impossible.” When he said he will resign, a few scattered cheers erupted from the crowd of mostly press and a very loud shout of “Bye bye, pervert!” could be heard.

At a Jewish senior center in Sheepheads Bay, the same one where he announced his underwhelming political career, Weiner quit today for having a lot of cybersex — but allegedly no human contact — outside of his marriage. The real damage, of course, was his unsuccessful cover-up.

“There is no higher honor in a democracy than being sent by your neighbors to represent them,” Weiner said, smiling, as he acknowledged his history with the area. “The middle class story of New York is my story and I’m proud of that.”

He apologized to his wife, Huma, specifically, though she did not appear next to him, and he continued to speak over crowd noise throughout the second-half of a brief speech.

“Are you more than seven inches?” someone yelled, capping off too many days of ridiculousness. “Were you fully erect?” (Update: We hear that the culprit of all of the noise and heckling is Benjy Bronk of the Howard Stern Show, who also crashed the first press conference with obnoxious questions. Some heard “goodbye, pervert!” — equally stupid.)

“Get him out of here,” said someone in the scrum. “He’s not with us.” They weren’t talking about Weiner.