And whatever you want for you is OK. You want to give Michelle Duggar a race of her money and pop out 2,000 kids and counting? Your business. You want to abstain from having children because the thought of Michelle Duggar popping out another kid makes you want to rip out your lady parts and hang them up to dry like some demented beef jerky? Your choice. Do what you want with your reproductive organs, and let others do the same. (Unless what you want to do with them is have sex with your no-good ex again. Stop the insanity today, ladies!)

2. You're busy.

Kids take up a lot of time and energy, and if you don't have that time and energy, that's fair! I don't have enough hours in the day to properly comb my hair (Anyone have a fork I can borrow? Ariel, I'm looking at you, girl!), so it's probably not a great idea for me to bring another being onto this Earth.

3. You're happy.

Seriously, happiness is so fragile. Happiness is like the rarest of orchids precariously balanced on the tip of a triangle made of toothpicks. You want to mess with that? BE MY GUEST. (JK, never mess with that.) Kids change everything. Maybe for the better. Maybe for the worse. But it's something to think about and, especially if you're content and fulfilled with all you have, is definitely a decent reason not to mess with the mix.

4. You have a fulfilling life already.

You want for nothing, not even stinky diapers, near constant tears, or sore nipples. YOU MONSTER. Right now, I have a challenging, creative job, a wonderful fiancé, two insane dogs, a family that I love, and more hobbies than you can shake one of my hand-knit throw blankets at. I love my life and I don't want to change it. Not now, maybe not ever. (Uh, unless I get a third dog. I already have several picked out on Pet Finder.)

5. It's just a personal choice.

One of many that we make in this life! And making the decision to not have kids or to have kids is between you, your partner (if one exists), and um, that's pretty much it. If anyone pressures you to make babies and you don't want to, it's not about you. It's about them. Tell them to make a baby if they want one so bad! You're too busy eating pasta and making out with (a) Channing Tatum (body pillow).

6. You won't be any less of a woman.

Babies do not a woman make. The desire to put on high heels and wear freakum dresses and eat lipstick and shit pink glitter are what makes a woman. Duh. And on the real, there is no such thing as one type of "having it all." Having it all means having everything you want, not what society dictates you should want. If what you want is babies, awesome! If what you want is not babies, also awesome!

7. Not everyone has mothering instincts.

Do your ovaries not explode every time you see the latest miniature Walter Matthau invading your Facebook feed? Do you not feel the urge to steal strangers' babies and raise them as your own? Do you love your friends' kids but just don't feel the need to procreate? All perfectly reasonable. You know who else says she doesn't have mothering instincts? DAME HELEN MIRREN, who I think we can all agree is the best woman alive and also has made some sort of deal with the devil to look so amazing.

8 Kids are expensive.

Maybe you'd rather spend your hard-earned skrilla on Beyoncé tickets and vacation homes in Paris. That's all I'm saying. My fiancé and I both have artsy fartsy jobs and therefore will probably never be ~**RoLlInG**~ in it, and I don't know if we could financially swing it right now. Not that money should be the deciding factor, but it's something to think about.

9. You're not ready.

Maybe you'll want kids one day, but there's no reason to rush it before you're ready. If some dim-witted dillhole warns you about your biological clock, kindly respond with: