Three annoying habits of Christians (and how to cultivate them)

Some of this might be blamed, rightly or wrongly, on genuinely irritating habits of Christians such as:

Reactionary politics

Believing conspiracy theories

The Crusades, The Spanish Inquisition and the Salem Witch Trials

Over-prolonged eye-contact

Invading my personal space

Excessive empathy

Puppyish enthusiasm

and

Always wanting me to go on courses

I do believe, however, that some irritating habits I see in some of my fellow Christians are worth nurturing. Here are three. If only I could:

Grace. Refusing to speak ill of people. Introducing a positive note in the office just when morale is at its most deliciously dismal. Not bearing grudges or engaging in satisfying acts of minor malice or revenge. Doing the coffee cups. Not assassinating people behind their backs. Buying the biscuits.

Certainty. ‘I have become one of those annoying people who is sure God loves him. Goodness and mercy will follow me all my days. God will not stop doing good to me. My death will see my longings fulfilled, my tears wiped away and possibly my nose blown. I know I deserve none of this and I agree you are as good a person as me. Sorry if you find that irritating in some way.’

A light touch. Aw, I wish I had this.And I wish the millions of people banging away on keyboards in their bedrooms had this. God save us from point-by-point refutations.