I know the answer, but the living in the already-but-not-yet has got me right where Martin Luther understood us all: simul Justus et peccator, simultaneously justified and sinner. The paradox of persons it seems all who attempt to bear His cross know too well has caught me both mourning and rejoicing in the span of a day.

Nothing in my hands I bring.

I do not have poignantly perfect words to craft that haven’t already been said. My wish would be that this turns into more of a space where I am not just actively reflecting upon the steps I’ve taken, but that it becomes a haven for people to know God’s Words in a deeper way.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”

— Psalm 16:1-2

I have thoroughly enjoyed the way that God takes what this world knows and turns it upside down. Even as I read through Esther, this seeming god-less book of the Bible, the Lord is regularly taking what the world saw as honor into shame, and the shame into honor. He is the one who changes things, making what is foolish into wise, making what is weak into strong. (1 Corinthians 1:27) Consider your calling.

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

— 1 Thessalonians 5:24

He will. The I AM Who takes our weaknesses and displays His perfect power. Not I.

As we are constantly wading into what feels unknown, our God continues to change what we thought was norm, common place, standard, into death, new life, resurrection.

Simply to the Cross I cling.

Although it has felt normal to be anxious this week, it has also been the most freeing gift to accept that I truly have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, following and being faithful my only goal. He has brought me, dragged me, led me this far. He will continue to guide, and He delights to do so.