I like being scruffy. Impeccably scraggly. I know we should all want to look professional and clean but I love it when my jeans are shredded, my T-shirts are multi coloured swirls and my sneakers are ragged.

I like my long hair. I like having a beard. Hopefully they will come together one day.

I really (really, really) like the girl who works at Waterstones. I might even love her. I remember her once handing me a leaflet and saying “I remember you” and smiling. It was the only moment we were alone. I should have said something. If I see her again I’ll say hi. Something might happen.

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I like my friends. I like talking with them, having tea with them, doing lots of things with them. You all make my life better. Thank you.

I don’t like how I don’t tell people how much they mean to me. Or I don’t tell them my feelings for them. If any of my friends read this I love you. Truly I love you. Thank you all for everything.

I wish I was more open with my feelings. Things build up that shouldn’t. But I’m getting better at it.

I wish I could tell people that I like them. I both envy and admire people who can. Something scares me but it’s not rejection. I expect that. I should stop thinking like that.

I like wearing my hat. It is like Kyle Broflovski’s. Therefore it is awesome. I like wearing my hood. It is like Kenny McCormick’s. It means I can play air guitar on the street and people have no idea who I am.

I like the Grateful Dead. They make me impossibly happy. I like Explosions in the Sky. They make me believe everything will work out. I like Funkadelic. Funk on Eddie Hazel. I like Motoharu Yoshizawa. Even though hardly anyone knows who he was he was a genius.

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I like the New Orleans Saints. They helped me through a bad time. I needed that.

I get too into sports (read: American Football.) I should stop that. I have gotten a lot better with this.

I like writing. It saves me every day. I like going to far off lands and surreal visions. Its fun.

I like playing with plasticine. It’s fun to make tangible things.

I like the way it feels when you take your socks off under the covers.

I don’t like phones. This includes owning, answering and ringing them.

I don’t like how I waste time on useless stuff. Should stop that.

I like how big things don’t bother me. I don’t like how little things bother me.

I like snow and autumn leaves under my feet. They crunch wonderfully.

I like Julio Cortazar for being the best writer ever. I like Richard Brautigan. Trout have never been so awesome.

I like Calvin and Hobbes. For making me laugh. For Spaceman Spiff. For stuffed tigers. And for making me think of so many things.

I like reading poetry. I read some of mine once. I haven’t done it since. I might do it again. maybe.

I like Meng Hao-jan. His poetry inspires me. He gave me a pen name.

I like being quiet and shy.

I don’t like being too shy. It happens on a somewhat regular basis. I struggle to get better with this.

I like being anonymous. But I like talking to people (that I like). It’s a balancing act.

I don’t like having photo’s taken of me. There aren’t many in existence. Think it’s because I like my anonymity. If I wore a wizard hat things might change.

I don’t like loneliness. But I like solitude.

I like walking. Things become clearer. In the midst of trees and birds the mind drifts.

I like Naive. Super. I always feel like there’s someone out there like me.

I don’t like being upset. Or people being upset. That’s not nice. I like (trying) to cheer people up. Awesome puppy always helps.

I like looking at pictures of space. At once I feel small and part of something special. Also, pretty colours.

I like spiders. I don’t know why people don’t like spiders. They just want a hug.

I wish I could dance.

I never stopped liking dinosaurs and by extension Godzilla (and Mothra). I always root for the monster in films.

I wish I could be a Zen Buddhist. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I probably could do it. Needs more application. Lots more.

I don’t like my pessimism. But it stops me from being let down.

I may actually be good but I doubt it sometimes. I getting better at this, bit by bit. Its gotten a lot better actually.

I take purposefully longer walks to finish good songs. Grateful Dead walks cross time and space.

I like the night. I feel better then for some reason. More creative I guess.

I like walking through a city at night. Fog just makes it better.

I like staying up all night writing. My brain works better late on.

Sometimes I feel lonely. Then I think of her and it goes away. So long lonesome.

I liked this post. There are so many things about you my friend that is lovable. I think when the time is right your Waterstones gal will see it and hopefully appreciate you totally and completely. I think a lot of the reason that people have trouble turning that corner is because you don’t know what will happen and what will change. If you’ve got that person in a certain light (sort of a fantasy soft pretty golden halo light) it will most definitely change once you get to know that person. And that can be scary/disappointing to a lot of people. We all romanticize things/people from time to time, it’s sort of fun to do. I think that’s why we have celebrities so we can have imaginary relationships. Just think of it, what if you met your hero and he/she was less than wizard (see how I threw that in?)? It would most definitely suck. At least I think it would.

I love looking at pictures of space for the same reason. Even more than that, I love lying on my back on my porch and watching a dark thunderstorm swiftly roll in. I love the undulating shades of gray, the lingering drumming among the clouds, the drops falling heavy and warm on my face. Here between these dry mountains, it never rains, or at least not with the power that I am used to soaking the Spring earth at home. There is really nothing beautiful about a long, dull, freezing drizzle.