"No reason to get excited," the thief he kindly spoke... "There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke..."

About this creation

The watchtower at Dandelion Rock is staffed by the laziest, most worthless, most corrupt guards imaginable. Suppressing bandit activity just felt too much like work, so they found a better alternative.

The trio currently stationed here turn a blind eye to the outlaw Wolfpack gang's preying on local travelers, so long as they get their cut. Today the unfortunate victim is a traveling exotic animal peddler.

"Unless you want to end up gutted like your guard dog, old man, you'll just sit back and let us take what we want."

"Curse the fate that brought me to this foul land! I knew I should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque."
"Well, you didn't. So shut up."

"Hey, I dare you to pee over the side onto that guy sitting by the tree."
"Dude, the point of a dare is to get the person to do something he wouldn't ordinarily do."

Misconstruing the peddler's pleas not to open the barrel as a sure sign that it was full of treasure, the hapless outlaw now finds that a barrel full of monkeys isn't as fun as he'd always heard.

A pair of local roustabouts, who have taken to loitering on the steps to the tower and making catcalls at the unfortunate peasant girls forced to come to the well, gleefully join in the monkey chase. "Get 'em, Will! I bet them critters is good eatin'!"

The village drunkard turns a bleary eye to the goings on in the road before reaching for the jug again. "Stupid monkeys," he mutters. "Interrupt my nap..."

"Hey, we drinkin' or what? Don't think I won't finish this keg by myself!"

Prying open the crate reveals no valuable loot here either, just a mass of hissing snakes. The bandit can't jump back fast enough. "Don't any of these containers have gold in them?"

"Last one out of the barrel is snake bait!" they'd said. He'd never thought the expression should be taken literally.

After seeing the dog stabbed to death before his eyes, Whiskers is forced to wonder what life he's on. He has a sinking feeling it's his ninth.

"So I grabbed him by the throat and lifted him right off the ground with one hand, and I said, I'll crush your windpipe like a dead leaf if you even think of looking at me crosseyed, punk!"
"Sure you did..."

These guys were lucky. Rather than having to chase escaped monkeys or dodge poisonous snakes, they got three parrots tied to a perch. While it's far from the best score they've ever made, it could be worse. And since no one else in the gang has done any better, at least they've got dinner tonight.

The giant rabbit wonders if he dares make a break for it, or if he should just lay low and hope the bandits overlook him. When they see how much meat is on him, he'll wish he'd run when he had the chance.

First monkey - "What part of 'split up' don't you understand?"
Second monkey - "This is the way I wanted to go! You go another way!"

Little do these cretins realize that word of their terrible job performance has gotten back to Lord Black Falcon, and within a matter of days their severed heads will be displayed on pikes at the crossroads below.

The farmer hauling his vegetable cart to market hopes against hope that the Wolfpack will be so distracted by what they're doing that he can make it this week without having to pay the "toll" they always require.

"Just a bit of luck, for once in my miserable life, all right God? Is that too much to ask?"

Holding his breath, he trudges forward. If he can just get to the intersection and make a right turn unmolested, he might be all right. Or will the monkey chasers give that up and turn on him as much easier sport?

How many times do you need to see the same losers in the same positions in the same tower in slightly different camera angles? Six.

The base measures 48x48 studs, and counting up to the tip of the flagpole, the tower tops out at seventy bricks high above the baseplate. Basically I just kept building wall in a regular pattern until my gray bricks in the right sizes started to run out. I might have been able to do a few more courses, but I knew I was going to have trouble photographing this as it was. So excuse my clumsy Photoshoppery when you notice an edge looking really rough, I'm learning on the job here.

Ye olde detail shot of the front doors -- which do not open. When I was 99% done with this MOC my three year old niece came over and she wanted to play with it. The first thing she tried to do was open the doors and look inside. I explained that they didn't open, that I'd built the tower just to look at, not to play with. The look she gave me was like, "What's the point of that?" I felt like a total failure as an uncle.

But I was redeemed by the fact that all my meticulously arranged minifigs and animals could be played with. In her world the guy in purple was a bad guy, and the Wolfpack dudes were good guys. I tried convincing her otherwise, but she was having none of it. Before it was over, most everyone had had their headgear switched, the marauding snakes (under her control) had chased the helpless monkeys (under my control) right off the table, almost all the other Lego animals in my collection had invaded the diorama at some point, and a big Lego T-Rex rampaged through and ate everybody.

The horse ate the apples, the rabbit ate the carrots, and the cat ate the cherries. I didn't know cats liked cherries, and said so, but she seemed pretty sure about it so I didn't argue.

The one aspect of the tower I'm unhappy with. It needs a reverse corner slope right here, but I don't have any in light gray, and I am currently laboring under a self-imposed Cracklink ban.

Hmm, how do they get the water up? Oh well.

I still have yet to build a real castle, but this will have to do for now.

awesome tower! and the story is hilarious! barrel of monkeys, poor farmer, wolfpack (who doesn't like the wolfpack?) and don't forget the t-rex (that's usually how funny stories end, with everyone dead because something from another time period somehow appeared and destroyed everything!) great moc!

I've already seen this wonder but the review hadn't worked... (due to MOCpage is so slooooow) - What not to like here ? The baseplate is cover with great details, and the tower is one of the best I've seen. Very Monthy Python in the spirit, and I love that you used very old school castlemen. Totally cool !

What a week for my computer to get a virus...I get MOC of the day AND Shannon Young posted a castle creation! I guess I learned two things: I was not meant to ever see one of my MOCs on the front page, and that I am now for sure a wannabe castle builder. Either that or you're just a master. =) Well done Shannon! I feel your pain on those inverted slopes though, every one of my towers need those. (Which is why I just bought some off Bricklink)

I'm not sure where you got the tapes of me at work from, but I swear that's not how it always is... Oh and for the record, cats do eat cherries... well, mine does anyway. But you have to take the pit out first, that was NOT fun watching the poor guy try to... never mind. GREAT build Shannon. If this is you warming up for castle, I can't wait to see what happens when you get in the full swing of it! ~ Chris.

Not just old guys reminisce about Looney Tunes, Kelso. And by the way, you're despicable. ^_^ Watchtower? More like Overlooktower! Only one of the guards has noticed the ruckus, and is not really helping them anyways. That is, unless they're desperately thirsty…

You've danced around the castle theme before, but this is getting darn close to a full out castle MOC. And nicely done! Always a good read from you, and a bonus point for the Bugs Bunny "turn at Albuquerque" quote. That's for us old guys, right? Great MOC - thanks for making my day.

What a great build! this is a fine piece of art, you did a really great work at this; on both the tower and the little scene around it... just another quality work from you, keep it up man >>> peace.. Fofo

What a wretched hive of scum and villiany. Nice tower though. I'd like to see those guys heads on pikes. Really tall pikes so I could stand in below and wave up to them. Just a little wave while I smile. That and I'd sure like to see that t-rex trampin' through their lives. I just crackedlinked one of those this afternoon and I can't wait for it to come. There'll be killin's next. Hummm, that's three film and tv references. Can you guess them all? see ya. garth

A really great MOC Shannon, but AGAIN, I gotta say…the best commentary of any builder ever. It’s not that it’s just funny and well written, but it has flow. Lots of people try, some come close, but you da’ man Shanny. OK, now before I make myself sick from praising you, get rid of the spiky flower stems all over those rocks…it looks silly. ;-)

Haha very funny; I didn't want to finish reading. Very enjoyable! Unfortunately I'm going to have to deduct a point cuz you didn't build two testicular-shaped domes at the base of the tower, covered in wiry black thorns...

Wow, nice! There's plenty of detail on the ground, but I'm thinking the big walls could use maybe a window or something. Excellent building from just your collection (I know I would probably have to place a big order or two to build something like this).

I like it

George Kemper

February 24, 2009

He this is great the tower is so tall. By the way could you check out my new creation.

erik smit

February 24, 2009

This is fantastic! I already loved the building , and the whole story made it even better. Very funny!
And the story of your niece made it better still. (recognize some things from my 2 year old kids - even though they , esp. my son, mostly take things apart rather than playing with them...) so, great work! Very good photograpy too.
Only minus would be the white rim at the cutout around the tower.

To tell you the truth Shann once I heard that the doors don't open I stopped reading. It's one thing not to have any interrior detail (I mean it IS very tall how many floors would that be?) but no opening doors, it's just a waste of good gray bricks.

Very nice, ShannY! This tower is great, and that corner looks fine to me. The positioning of the figs is excellent, and the photography is very clean and well done. And, as usual, your captions are just as good as the build. Great MOC, Shan!

Lets see. i have three points (not including the one that your build resembles a male body part!)
1) nice to see the castle builders have finally corrupted you into the category
2) I once put a self imposed beer ban on myself that resulted in 1 week of pain and 3 weeks of heavy drinking afterward. I suggest you cut the crack-link ban immediately.
3) my wife wont leave me alone so i forget #3