Hi
We got a Lilac Point Modern Siamese kitten (Mesha) from a breeder. The breeder stopped breeding and sold all his adults and last kittens. Mesha and her brother was the last two left and he gave her to us for free.
The problem is that he didn’t socialise his last kittens at all, he didn’t have the time, that’s why he stopped breeding. So when we got her at 4 months (she is 8 months now) she was scared of us and all our other cats.
After a while she started to trust us and she tolerated all the other cats, except for one. She absolutely hates our 2, year old neutered Siamese male. He didn’t do anything to her, but every time he comes near her, even within meters of her she totally freaks out and screams like someone’s trying to kill her!
That was fine, we could deal with that, she only had issues with the one. BUT now a few days ago we got a new baby – female Siamese kitten. From the time she arrived Mesha has become allot worse. Now she hates the new baby, she hates our neutered boy, she doesn’t want any of the other cats to come near her, if we try to pet her she growls and runs away and if we try to pick her up she screams like we’re going to kill her and scratches us and runs away.
She is stressed and on the defence permanently and I feel so sorry for her. We love her very much, so getting rid of her, or any of our cats is not an option. We need a solution, ANYTHING!We need to know what to do to make life better for Mesha, our other cats and ourselves.
PLEASE HELP!

Siamese have a very unique character. I have 2 myself and 3 others being persian and domestics. My first lilac point was also from a breeder who dumped him and his siblings off at a shelter. He aswell was not socialized well with humans and other cats. I started off with just him for a few months before I introduced other cats. This provided him with security and we were able to bond gradually. I then moved in a bonded pair of cats but I introduced all three very slowly by keeping the 2 in a room and let my siamese smell them through the door. After about 1 month I moved one cat out (the female) followed by the male a few days later. This introduction went relatively well with no fights but alot of hissing from him. Now they are very bonded. Later (about 1 and 2 years later) I brought in more cats again doing the same exercise.

Introducing cats is the same concept but more lengthy then canine introduction. Since your cat is stressed with these new beings, I would reconsider taking in any more until the siamese builds significant bonds with the cats you currently have. Not all cats will get along, but they will learn to tolerate one another.

Does your siamese have a preference with any of your current cats? If so, I would take the 2 or 3 and give them their own room for the time being..a safe place for your siamese to relax and not be so stressed. Give all the cats time to find their companions and space where they feel comfortable and not threatened. Introductions should be very gradual.

There are many cat savvy people here that will assist with maybe better ideas. Good luck.

I would separate her from the others for a few days to give her time to, settle down, then slowly allow her time to be with the others. Perhaps during their quiet time. Does each cat have their own "space" that they can retreat to? Each of my cats have their place that they sleep. Some like to be up high, others on the floor.

Mesha needs to have contact with others on HER terms. One idea is to sit on the floor with her favourite treats around you, don't make eye contact with her, and allow her to come and eat the treats. You can start with the treats being quite far from you, then bring them in closer. She will then associate your presence with good food. Once she is comfortable eating around you, then you can try giving her a gentle pat while she is eating, moving very slowly.

Mesha has undergone a lot of changes in a short time. She needs to be de-stressed. I would keep her isolated from your other cats and set her up in a separate room, either your bedroom or another room. It is a shame that the breeder did not care enough to give her any socialization, so really she is like a feral cat and has not learned to love or trust anyone. Until she really starts forming a bond with you, I wouldn't even attempt to have her introduced to your other cats. When she is coming to you willingly for attention, for food, for play, then you can gradually start to introduce her to the other cats, starting with the ones she didn't react to. Don't rush this and go with Mesha's schedule. Spend as much time as you can with her in her room, try to coax her to come for treats or toys, or play with a teaser toy or just sit quietly. Let us know how things are going with her.

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"We humans are indeed fortunate if we happen to be chosen to be owned by a cat." -- Anonymous

Mesha has undergone a lot of changes in a short time. She needs to be de-stressed. I would keep her isolated from your other cats and set her up in a separate room, either your bedroom or another room. It is a shame that the breeder did not care enough to give her any socialization, so really she is like a feral cat and has not learned to love or trust anyone. Until she really starts forming a bond with you, I wouldn't even attempt to have her introduced to your other cats. When she is coming to you willingly for attention, for food, for play, then you can gradually start to introduce her to the other cats, starting with the ones she didn't react to. Don't rush this and go with Mesha's schedule. Spend as much time as you can with her in her room, try to coax her to come for treats or toys, or play with a teaser toy or just sit quietly. Let us know how things are going with her.

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the advice.
It's been 2 weeks now since the new kitten arrived and Mesha's behaviour totally changed towards the baby.
She now acts like a mommy with her, follows her everywhere, sleeps with her, grooms her and is VERY protective towards her.
Looks like I went into panic mode too quickly.

She is also allowing us to pick her up again and pet her. And for some reason she is actually more relaxed towards all the other cats than before we got the new baby.
So, looks like a very bad situation actually turned into something good.
I'm so happy for her; I hated seeing her so stressed.

Just curious....what was it that turned her around? Did you do something specific or just let her adjust on her own? More details please.

We didn't do anything, we didn't know what to do. She just started to go up to the baby by herself, licking her and later sleeping with her, grooming her and now playing with her and walking after her an meowing at her, being very protective. I think she was just shocked at the beginning but after about two weeks her motherly instincts kicked in (though she is really just a kitten herself , 9 months old now)
So I think her instincts to be a mommy to this little baby turned everyting around.

Glad to hear Mesha figured things out on her own. Her social "cattery" instincts probably kicked in as she felt more comfortable and decided to be part of the new group. The new Siamese kitty seems to have drawn her into it. Happy that everything's turned out well.

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"We humans are indeed fortunate if we happen to be chosen to be owned by a cat." -- Anonymous