First Time Trying Kinks

What’s your gender? WomanHow old are you? 20What’s your race/ethnicity? White / CaucasianWhat continent do you live on? North AmericaWhat country and/or city do you live in? USA, Syracuse, New YorkHighest education received: Some college (currently in college)What’s your current relationship status? Dating casuallyReligious affiliation: JewishHow religious are you? SomewhatWhat’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexualHow many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? At least 15 or 20How many hookup stories have you here posted before? this is my first

First time trying kinks

How long ago did this hookup happen? About 4 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is a senior in college, I am a sophomore. We met last year, about 4-5 months before we hooked up. He has green eyes and a fit, well-toned physique. When we met, I was instantly attracted to him and wanted to pursue a sexual relationship with him, however, he was in a long- term committed relationship with a woman at the time. Upon returning to school at the end of the summer, I learned they had broken up. This gave me hope that I could now pursue him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were having a texting conversation and somehow he jokingly became a father figure and I was being a defiant child. He said something like “do you want to lose dessert for the next few days? Do you want to get spanked?” That second sentence opened up the door I was looking for. I replied, “yeah, tie me up and spank me” (something along those lines). After a bit of this playful flirting, I asked if he is actually into kinky things. He said he had some experience to which I replied that I’d been interested in trying it out. I remember his response word for word: “if you want to learn the ropes, I have the ropes”. (perfect play on words, might I add). So we coordinated and made a plan. I haven’t forgotten this moment- I was texting him as I made dinner for myself, and he said ‘if we’re going to get physical tonight, I must ask that you wear all black undergarments’. That turned me on. It was quite hot. I was excited and NERVOUS. So nervous.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? My friend dropped me off at his place and I was a bit tipsy ( I had just come from a party). He let me in and I think we basically went straight into his room. He ordered me to kneel in the corner while he changed out of his tie-dye shirt into a black button- down. I giggled to myself; I was super excited and turned on- he seemed to know what he was doing as a dominant. He told me to stand up and come over to him. He took a leather cord from his neck and put it around mine. He whispered to me “when you are in this room, you will wear this cord. when you’re wearing this cord, you are mine.” That gave me shivers in a most pleasurable way. We hit the bed making out. We agreed to start out pretty mild since this was our first time together and we were getting to know each others’ bodies and get comfortable with one another. I remember we were both really into it and I felt totally comfortable around him. We tried a few different positions- him on top with me wrapping my legs around his waist, my legs over his shoulders, me against a wall with my legs around his waist. it was HOT. We went to sleep around 1:30 AM I think, and woke up around 3 or 4 AM and went at it again. This was mostly making out (although my memory of this part is a bit fuzzy). The next morning he made us pancakes and I showed him Rick and Morty for the first time. We started going at it again and we tried blindfolding me and tying me up. It was enjoyable, but it wasn’t in the heat of the moment so it definitely could have been better. It wasn’t until about 4 in the afternoon that I left because he needed to go grocery shopping with his roommates. He was very kind to me the whole time and made it clear that he was comfortable with me and made sure I was comfortable. He made me feel pretty good.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After that first one, I left and strode confidently back to my house. It was a warm, pleasant day out. I thought he and I had started a consistent thing and that we’d hook up a few times a week. I texted him a few days later and told him I wanted to see him again and he said likewise. We arranged to see each other later that week, and this time he came to my house. The second and last time we hooked up just wasn’t as good. I was tired and we were beginning to drift apart because I seemed to be more into him than he was into me. Not much noteworthy happened, although he did come a bit closer to making me orgasm by fingering me. We had a bit of a falling out- he didn’t want to make time for me even thought I did for him. So, I mentioned, we drifted apart. I am a bit sad because I think we were pretty sexually compatible and I feel a strong physical attraction to him.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my friend who drove me, and my roommate and close friend S. whom I share everything with.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got to try some kinky things and be sexual with a guy I was into.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Things became awkward between us and we don’t really talk anymore. (I really think he handled it poorly, but it’s not entirely his fault)

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. I just know that I want to continue trying BDSM things.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish people were more open to casual sex and I certainly wish people were more open to talking about sex. It’s a taboo in our culture- people get embarrassed when the topic comes up, and I cannot for the life of me understand why. I wish the word ‘slut’ didn’t exist- shaming an entire gender for having sexual desire and then acting upon it makes as much sense as soup made of bricks.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? great idea! What better way to get people more comfortable talking about sex than to talk about it? Plus we can look at each others’ experiences and get ideas from them.