Greetings. First I would like to thank the Church of Satan and its members for this opportunity to explore and interact. I feel a great appreciation for the knowledge and wisdom I have received through Dr. Lavey's books, the Church of Satan website and now this forum. I have spent well over 10 years preparing for the possibility of my membership and active membership to the CoS. My choice to become a member has not been made lightly. I hold the card carrying, and active member of the Church of Satan with high regard. I have a respect for the CoS, its philosophy and movement that exceeds beyond any verbal expression. I have decided to apply for membership and active membership after many years of personal study and knowledgeable growth. Estranged from my fathers side of the family for 16 years since the age of 7 I was to find that a majority of my biological family consider themselves of like mind as I. Two summers ago I finished reading The Satanic Witch by Dr. Lavey and was shocked and extremely surprised that the book was a description of my behaviors, actions and way of thinking that I remember going back as far as age 5 for me. I never knew that when I was five, batting my long sparkling false eyelashes at the old man opening his door for trick or treat, giving him the eye with head tilted to the side to say " my daddy told me never to take candy from a stranger" would in any way resemble the Satanic Witch . However misplaced and inappropriate it gave my father and the man a giggle. It seems that I have been born to know all I am now learning. It is as if I have been told a secret that explains my true self to the core and that secret says " you my dear, are a Satanist." I wanted to make sure that when I chose to affiliate that I did so with as much possible knowledge, self confidence and personal understanding as I could outside of deeper involvement with the CoS. My life has been anything but boring and as I am newly made aware I have successfully bewitched, and performed greater and lesser magic my entire life. I am turning 29. I was born the 12 of April. My father a musician, a frequenter of California, and magician was my most respected family member until his passing at the age of 7. I found out when reconnecting with his side of my family that they are all "atheists" and they all know a great deal about Satanism. While I am not sure if any of them are members, It seems that this is what I grew up around, what I was taught and to my better understanding was born to two parents who followed similar philosophies. I hold it as an honor to be as active as I can in the Church of Satan and hope to learn, grow and earn the respect of the Cos and it's members new and old. I take the title "Satanist" very seriously and consider Dr. Lavey's path to be a part of who I am and who I always was. I am a student with a goal of obtaining my PhD in Neurosciences. With great reflection it has served me well to research theology, sociology, behavioral psychology, as well as child psychology among many other academic gems. The point of this rich background information and explanation of my personal thoughts about becoming an active member is to paint a broader picture of the question I am about to ask. I seek to research, explore and create essays and other publishing's, on neurologically significant, psychologically significant and behaviorally pertinent correlation between theological oppression,mental slavery, child abuse and the improper social and emotional development of our growing generations.I feel that such childhood abuse and neglectful parental ignorance is an overgrowing epidemic in our society. In contrast it is my desire to also make light of what nurtures the positive and self enriching growth, development and success of our children and future generational standing. Personally for me Satanism best accepts man as his scientific self and embraces the absolute use of every carnal sense as first intended and now with greater knowledge. I feel it is our inability to nurture our carnal natures without guilt that is a huge factor in the neurological dysfunctions that cause many emotional instabilities and physical inabilities in our society. As a mother, student, musician, writer,poet and Satanic Witch I would have great pleasure in the opportunity to grow in knowledge within the CoS and as an active member in the future be able to represent myself as a Satanic professional and Mother. It is my deepest desire to preserve the carnal and intellectual purity of children. How can an active member earn the respective authority to represent themselves as a member in regards to publishing books of academic and philosophical nature? I greatly feel it will be personally beneficial and rewarding to pay homage and give credit where credit is due on my being raised in a "Satanic" home, and be able to express my deep appreciation for the influence the CoS has had on my being a successful woman, mother, and someone who advocates and holds dear the sacred place children and animals hold in our worlds. All my life I have been bashed as being evil and to the contrary of what our worlds view of what "evil" is I find the CoS to be one of the only places where you see a true and unconditional appreciation for life, the self and for human preservation and advancement. After I become a full member of the CoS, it is my greatest desire to do all I can for the advancement and growth of CoS as a whole. I believe the Church of Satan to be the first step in unmasking the true culprits of the self. What can I do, outside of continuing my personal education on Dr. Lavey's teachings, to better prepare myself to be worthy and knowledgeable enough to effectively and justly write about my theoretical views of how the CoS has personally created a way for me to "UN-wash " my brain? I would love to write books on Child psychology and Satanic parenting. I see such huge connections between the nurture of our natural self as children and parents encouraging such individual freedoms and developments that mirror Dr. Lavey's philosophy. I am first to say I have a great deal of learning left to do. It is my thirst for knowledge, my passion for the CoS and the teaching s of Dr.Lavey that have me reaching for such high goals. Is this possible within the CoS? Or are my forms of public research in the areas of neurosciences and psychology not something the CoS would wish to associate themselves with on such a public level? Will I have to remain anonymous if I choose to do such public and professional research? How can I best assure that I am doing right by myself and by the CoS? I look forward to learning all I can from the people holding greater knowledge than I on these subjects and look forward to the time when I can be actively involved with the Church of Satan as it has greatly inspired and influenced the desired nature of my life's work and research. Respectively, Apryl C. HS!

You might want to format the presentation, inserting relevant paragraphs and text breaks. Such a wall of text is somewhat laborious to read through.

However, I skipped right to the end and found this question:

>> Is this possible within the CoS? Or are my forms of public research in the areas of neurosciences and psychology not something the CoS would wish to associate themselves with on such a public level? Will I have to remain anonymous if I choose to do such public and professional research? How can I best assure that I am doing right by myself and by the CoS? <<

Only those officially appointed as spokespersons (such as myself) are positioned to speak on behalf of The Church of Satan.

Otherwise, we do not dictate to anyone what field of endeavour they should explore. And whether you reveal your affiliations publicly is up to you - but based on the experience of many members over the years I would say it is usually more beneficial to keep one's membership private in most professional environments.

_________________________
"u.v.ray blends the dark street poetry of Nelson Algren with the swagger and style of a young Iggy Pop."

Thank you for the response. I saw that my post had gone through as a clumped mess of sentences. It looked different before it was submitted so I may have to figure out how any why it ended up that hot mess. I would not have read through all of that either, some of it was actually meant to be edited out. My apologies. These things occur. I appreciate your input. Apryl C.