Your beauty ( rough copy v-day poem )

your beauty
is magnified by the randomness of your creation
your silhouette's like an eclipse blessing every thing with a sultry kiss
some times I wish I was air kissing and caressing you every where
it’s the rise of your cheeks,
that present that smile that secretes love so deep
the feeling of you watching me,
gives me strength of Hercules or the speed of mercury
or the bravery of a noble beast
your beauty empowers me
even in silence we speak
our hearts where just the start
our souls now can't part,
inter twined singing to angel making them giggle and smile
not an after affect of cupids arrow,
but the unlikely chance of hearts previously so narrow
they now flutter like sparrow
set free of the pain, the past and the change,
or there lack there of,
it drove us both almost insane
the edge of our own abyss locked in our own personal cages

but now
we have been knighted by love
warmed to room temperature an handed a path of choice to walk apou
not handed perfection but a chance of selection,
a podium of expression, an audience of one and their full attention
shed skins of despair, elude hypnotic traces sent my flirtatious deer's
we started the little bang, our universe created our way
as time stands still watching us hold one another near

cause your beauty,
is magnified by the randomness of your creation
the mix of gene's and unimaginable situations
all to form you a beauty so true
in my grasp I hold, in your grasp a cold heart slowly warms
in our presence is heaven...

I like what you had to say in the poem..and I noticed that you said rough draft...I am curious about how the final draft came out and if you restructured the poem any (that is what I would of done, but that is me). Repeating the first two lines really adds to your love for the beauty that your love possess. Nice drop

i really liked this.. the line ab0ut making an angel giggle and smile.. made me smile, lol

cause your beauty,
is magnified by the randomness of your creation
the mix of gene's and unimaginable situations
all to form you a beauty so true
in my grasp I hold, in your grasp a cold heart slowly warms
in our presence is heaven...

man how powerful is the guidance given by love,
sometimes it can really take you under the spell if your not careful,
ive definitely been misled by infatuation,
but fortunately for you you seem to be very convinced,
like theirs nothin no one can say to make you feel different,
man that must be a great feeling
knowin that your love is returned...
great piece..

oooh I typed so much and my screen went to my homepage on accident!
Anyway-I like this poem because it doesn't just talk about the good times, but also the bad. I always think if you're in a relationship and you haven't had a bad moment then you're bound for it-but that doesn't mean it has to end. It takes teamwork to make love work, and we know what the qualities/characteristics of teamwork are. Another thing is this piece reminds me so much of my relationship. I can't tell you how many "difficulties" there's been lol. but most of it was in a time when neither of us had a clear vision of things, just knew what we wanted in life-I hope that makes enough sense. The line "...take it slow..." sums it up. I don't know, it's good though. These types of poems can go on to infinity because you never really are satisfied when you can't fully describe/express what love/beauty is to you, and how much it means, it simply goes on.
-Much Love

i was going to go back and re do it but i sent it to her and got threatened not to change a thing. so this is really the final draft cause i really didn't feel like getting my ass whipped for a poem lol.