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41 Things Married People Ought to Know (Part 2)

The following are some reflections on marriage. Maybe you will find these useful. I would love to hear your comments regarding these. Please include in your comment what you would add to this list. (If you missed part one you can find it here.)

11. Many women have a low view of their body image. Today, in many ways they are being bombarded with the message that their bodies do not measure up. Television, movies, magazines all portray a certain type of body to be desired. These bodies tend to be tanned, very well proportioned and beautiful. Far too many women look at these images and see the flaws in their body. Too heavy. Too small. Too large.

12. Wonderful, satisfying sex in marriage is not based on performance. Rather, it is based on seeing sex as an outgrowth of an intimate relationship with one another. Far too many couples put tremendous pressure on one another because of the performance view of sex. Pornography feeds such a view. Beware! When one person is using pornography, there will often be an unrealistic, performance oriented view of marriage.

13. Many married couples have no idea how to handle their discretionary spending. Consequently, if the kids want something at the store and the parents know the money is in the bank, the kids get it. Meanwhile, the amount of credit card debt being accumulated by some couples is astounding.

14. Husbands and wives need to think about practical ways to give their mates pleasurable moments in the relationship. Such pleasure does not begin in the bedroom, but in small thoughtful moments. Great pleasure can be found in marriage.

15. Some men and women are very angry people. This unresolved anger may be the result of unresolved issues with parents, friends, or others that may go back many years but now this anger has deeply impacted their marriage.

16. Sex in marriage is enhanced by honesty and trust. It is difficult to let yourself go with complete abandon (sexually) when you or your mate has a pattern of deception.

17. Many people say they wish to have a “Christian” marriage. Yet, ultimately, this should mean that a husband and wife are allowing Christ to shape who they are both individually and as a couple.

18. Husbands who are too passive drive their wives nuts! Many guys are not mean, rude, obnoxious, etc. However, they are silent. These passive men put their wives in the position of always having to take the initiative. This can leave their wives feeling very much alone.

19. Husbands and wives need to take the long view of things. This vision takes much persistence and prayer. A spouse might reflect on the question: “What kind of married person do I wish to be in ten years?”

20. Decide that you will put positive energy into your marriage instead of draining the energy from your marriage.