Category: Home-life blog

There are three words that can strike fear into the hearts of the toughest of dads and most confident of mums – potty training triplets!!!!

As you may well understand we have been reluctant about this big milestone in their development. We have only just cracked their transition into toddler beds which is a move that tested us both in the beginning.

Just the idea of potty training has boggled my mind. I hear one can be enough of a challenge so where to begin with three hectic toddlers was beyond me.

Thankfully Stacey has experience with potty training and has also been reading up on ways that will help us help the trio crack this big transition. Which in my mind was just going to be stressful, and literally a shitty time for us.

Ready to scrap the nappies

So here’s how it’s going so far.

We are currently on day three, and right now I wish I could just stay in bed and hide under the duvet for the remainder of the day. Our living room stinks of wee and the rug, sofa and carpets need replacing. Thankfully though it is Improving by the day.

To be fair it hasn’t actually been that bad, the hardest part has been that we are stuck in the living room all day, constantly watching them like hawks and encouraging them, and keeping them interested in a new way of doing things and staying calm and positive for them.

Ava and Lacey have cracked it now but still need watching, Blakely is a little behind and needs a little more encouragement than her sister’s.

Yesterday we introduced marshmallows as an insensitive which helped. The only problem with this has been that they have clocked that even the smallest of wee’s equals a reward which means they are pretty much glued to their potty’s now, and we are having to empty them every 5 minutes while remaining exited about it. It’s a real test of patience.

Thankfully it will be be less stressful as the day’s go by. At least I hope this will be the case.

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The triplets are doing well. They are developing into wilful little toe rags but this is the norm for their age. They are irrational, destructive, loving and kind. Three mixed bags of emotions.

They have tested us lately with the cot beds transition. But when we stuck to a simple and calm way without stressing them and us out. We have had better results. The three all have learned that bed time is for sleeping. Naughty corners and raised voices only aggravated the move and created more problems.

This milestone has brought a little sadness in that the babies that demanded our full attention and care are no more.

Gone are the late nights of insanity and sleep deprivation. The routines that became normal and tested our marriage as we adjusted to them at home.

Gone are the days I can pick two up for a daddy cuddle, they are now much bigger fully mobile and are a little forces of energy. Even Blakely has now grown to be more steady on her feet as she arrived at this hectic stage of development. I miss my babies, as strange as that may sound.

As crazy as it was, the insanity of early fatherhood became normal and introduced me to the reality of the commitment it takes. And also how much of our time and focus it was going to take to try and stay emotionally afloat as a husband and wife, dealing with such a remarkable situation.

I didn’t think becoming a dad was going to bring so many emotions out of me. If you peeled back a layer on me you would see anxieties, stress, concerns about the future and whether I am doing it right. But under the surface the love I feel for them is the real foundation. It outshines even the tougher of days.

The one sure thing under this roof is that we are in a momentum of constant change. The most important thing is that we roll with the new phases of their development, and deal with each new event with patience and tolerance. Which we will need an abundance of because potty training is up next now they have cracked bedtime.

I hope you are are all well and safe in these strange days. See you again soon x

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A couple of weeks ago I posted how smooth the transition was from cots to beds. All seemed well. I spoke way too soon!

It’s been a stressful challenge that has had us on the edge of sanity with our eyes twitching with onset madness some nights.

We tried several ways to keep them in their beds but all failed. We found ourselves every night watching the monitor and diving in and out of their room to get them back in bed. We got stressed out, they were not settling and it was eating into our quiet time.

Telling them off is pointless, because they just laugh at us. The naughty corner was becoming a game. We needed a new more peaceful tactic and Stacey discovered one that is passed on from Super Nanny. And it’s worked a treat – so far I might add, things can change fast with triplets.

This is the technique which has worked for our girls.

The first time they get up, one of us goes in and leads them all back to bed, speaking softly that it’s time for bed.

The second time we go in we speak with a bit more authority.

From then on we simply lead them back into bed, without speaking or making eye contact. When they realise they are not getting attention they stay in bed. It’s worked 3 nights in a row now.

We also read them stories separately beforehand. Frankie gets involved with this which is also good for her bonding with them.

The whole bedtime routine, done with out a raised voice or stress has worked a treat. We also have a reward chart. Every time they stay in bed they get a sticker. And if they get 7 stickers they get a little toy.

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Last night the triplets spent their first night in their toddler beds. We have been holding out for the right time to make the transition and decided it was time to bite the bullet.

It was as expected for the first hour. They were out and playing about but we were quick to put an end to any shenanigans. The quicker they learn not to mess about at bedtime the better. Especially when it’s our time to relax.

And after an hour of silliness and visits to the naughty corner they snuggled down and slept straight through for 12 hours.

It’s hard to believe that they are no longer babies. I still call them the babies but in reality they are walking, almost talking toddlers, with fiery personalities.

Little Blakey has a roar

It’s not been easy to keep them isolated without them going stir crazy, and us for that matter. We have taking them for a walk in the mornings just to get some fresh air. They love a stroll, or ride around the estate.

Stacey has worked hard to find things to do to keep them occupied. But in all fairness they seem to be coping pretty well with being stuck in. Lacey often asks if we can go to Nonna’s house. Thankfully we have facetime so we can still stay in contact with family.

The triplets are really coming into their own now. Three very different toddlers who are developing into three very confident (and wilful) little girls. They are challenging at times but more so than not they are well behaved and play lovely together.

There was a time when they first came home that I wondered when it would end. Now I can’t believe it’s gone. We are now dealing with quite different personalities at a new stage of growth. I can’t believe how fast the times gone. If you are new to parenting dont wish the time away with your little one’s, enjoy it while it lasts.

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If you are a parent you may be in agreement with me that one of the hardest things about self isolating is keeping the kids entertained.

As normal with toddlers ,we are doing our best to keep things structured and to maintain a daily routine. It gives the triplets some stability, and we also know where we are with them at any given time of the day.

Self isolating is difficult for all of us. The triplets are used to going out during the day. Whether it’s an exercise class with Stacey, or a mother toddler group. A trip out always keeps them a little more sane.

Stacey has worked hard to find things to do in the mornings when they would otherwise be at pre school. So we are both Learning the ropes of home schooling. Which takes a mass of patience, they are also having to settle into a routine. But we are doing okay so far.

Frankie is settling well into her own routine of school work and break times. There are printed copies of everyone’s routines stuck to the fridge so we all know where we are.

We have also added in to the day a break for meditation and exercise. Our mental wellbeing while we are stacked on top of each other in our little home is incredibly important.

We have included a set time once a week to get off our chests any grievance resentments we may have. To clean house in an emotional sense just so we don’t go mad.

I’m also playing another live gig from my living room this Friday 3rd April at 8.30pm GMT. Follow this link if you are tired of the TV and fancy some live music. If so, see you there!

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If you have followed my blog ot read my book you will know I dabble in guitar and vocals.

I sing for a rock covers band and also play acoustic sets when I’m in the mood. Because venues have now closed and pubs and clubs are cancelling bands, I thought I could do a little something to entertain anyone who wants to join me. Il be playing a live acoustic set from my living room for all of you self isolating that miss live music.

Friday I will be playing a gig live on Facebook. If you fancy a bit of live music while you’re self isolating then look no further.

To get involved (the Last gig we had over 100 in the crowd), simply follow the link to my Facebook page and join.

The gig will begin at 8.30 GMT. It will be an hour of popular rock covers and Motown classics. Performed by myself, with Stacey reading out the messages and requests in between tunes.

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In July 2019 I released my first book ‘From Triples To Triplets’. The title was changed from the original one of ‘A Meditative parent’ for a couple of reasons. The first being that people were put off a little by the title. It sounded like a self help book. The second reason is that with the speech problems I have I struggled to be able to pronounce it. Which as its author – wasnt good.

Since it’s release It has sold steadily, which is a good thing, but beyond that it has been a book of use. Which was what i intended it to be.

It is a story – my story to be precise, of finding my feet in fatherhood from a destructive past. Men like me with histories of personatilty disorders, anger, mental health issues and alcoholism, are not really pegged as men who are likely to become peaceful loving parents. And for many men – and women, these pasts can, and do become roadblocks in dealing with the pressures of paernthood. Especially when past and present issues are not adressed.

I wanted the book to be one that offered hope to those who still may be suffering from past traumas and who have now become parents themselves. Im no expert, and my book is not a self help manual. But i do share how i reached a point where fatherhood became the most important role i would ever step into. And how I overcame the pressures involved with early parenting.

My book has had great reviews from Mums and Dads. Even those who dont have children have found it to be a good read. My story is loaded, in the sense that I have had much to deal with in my time, and alcoholism and madness always makes for an interesting life, and subsequently, an interesting book.

In these times of self isolation you may be looking for a book to read. If so why not check my publication out. It was a labour of love to write. And the positive feedback is more than i could have expected as a first time author.

‘From Triples to triplets’ is available now on Amazon in paperback and on kindle. Also if you have kindle unmlimted it is free to read in that library. The link is below.

So, if you have read it, I thank you for lending your time to it. And if you haven’t read it, maybe you will find something within the pages to be of use.

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Covid-19 is in full flight and affecting everyone’s lives at the moment, if you have managed to locate any pasta or toilet rolls, hit me up, I dont have much money but am willing to exchange a small guitar for some Penne and nine rolls of Aloe vera. If its not quilted – no time waisters please.

In all seriousness, there is a bigger problem at hand than what to wipe with in a few weeks time. The most pressing issue lies under everyday peoples roofs. In that couples will be forced to survive each other in close proximity.

People are meant to work. To have time away from each other is a healthy thing. It means a couple can take breathing space and have a stronger relationship for it.

So what now with this new situation? Families are having to self isolate to slow the spread of the virus. Couples are going to have to really live together, and there will be problems.

There will be stresses and arguments, but there are little things that can help a couple survive each others pressures and stay out of resentments. Its a difficult situation to be in however you cut it.

So may i make a suggestion of something that my wife and I do, which helps to prevent her not press a pillow over my face while I sleep, and me not pack up and drive to the Premier-inn for a break. House cleaning – and not he duster and bleach kind.

She loves me really

Sitting down once a week to discuss fears and resentments honestly, without judgment or rancour. Just a simple cleaning out of any problems you will have with each other, and there will be plenty!

You may be Romeo and Juliet but make no bones about it, if youre under her feet she will want to strangle you occasionally. Becasue you don’t know how to clean the skirting boards properly, and she just won’t understand your ways of doing things, which will be wrong, whatever it is.

Take the time to talk, to stay free from the aggrivations you have with each other. Because the less they build up, the calmer your situation will be.

We are all forced into a dufficult corner with the stress of being off work and the pressures that absence will affect a family. So take care of the one you love, above all else at this time.

Be open and honest and willing to work together. Otherwise you are in for one hell of a two weeks at home. And i mean hell.