T20 SNAKEPIT AND MANGO BEER

“Hmm. I’m not so sure about the fruity beer” remarked Craig Atherton on leaving the pre-match micro-brewery.

“That was mango beer. It’s a hallucinogen” replied Young.

“Ah. That would explain why we think we’re getting changed outside. And that it’s Sunday and we’re playing a T20. And there isn’t a tea. And someone has laid 600 curly wurlys side by side on the pitch. And there…”

“Yes yes, that’s enough”.

Toss lost and in the field. A full eleven, courtesy of gear purloined from at least three players for Martin Ashfield – a man foolish enough not to have organised himself something better to do on a Sunday. The next hour and fifteen passed. In hindsight we could have stopped some boundaries, but desire was not in abundance. Benjamin’s 4 overs went for 13, Roberts 18, Ashfield Minor, Ward, Powell and Russell a few more than that but nothing catastrophic. 129 scored.

A quick scramble in our al fresco changing room and out go the Ashfields. Martins’ six, followed by Ben’s (bigger) six prompted a father and son run out fiasco as Martin clipped the whipper-snapper’s wings by brazenly seeing him off with a deaf ear to a clear call. Ashfield Senior went on to perish on 17, Killian hit a short, sublime 20, Slatter 3, Ward duck and suddenly no-one could get their pads on quick enough.

To be frank, Offenham’s bowlers utilised the devilish turn and unpredictable bounce far better than Grafton and made us look like somewhat inept snake charmers. Thankfully Atherton’s 25 retired was a timely masterclass and a valuable insurance policy – if only we could sacrifice everyone else in between and get him back in. Young (17) and Russell (12) kept the run a ball required rate on course and had Young not skied a catch and Russell not been dropped and promptly run out from the drop, TG might well have been victorious. As it was at 116 for 7 off 18, 14 was needed off 2. Roberts then fell. 9 off 1 left Powell eventually needing 4 off 2 – the best course of action probably being a wild heave and a wander out of his crease, thus ensuring his demise and the return of Atherton.