New York is a town with a double edge. It’s a city where you can cheap out and spend a day in The Met for a $1 (and almost feel good about it until you realize you should have given at least $5, why are you so cheap?), but then afterward, go for a walk in Central Park and not think twice about forking over $4 for a so-so cup of coffee.

It’s a city where you can have a negligible amount of money in your checking account and a non-existent savings, but when you walk around the West Village—and specifically West 10th Street—stalkily peering into the windows of the [...]

It seems that James Joyce was not the simple hypochondriac he’s often assumed to be. Rather, with his panoply of debilitating symptoms, he was something far more romantic: a syphilitic. According to a new biography, if the long-whispered rumors about Joyce’s burden are true, he had the French Curse, the Spanish Itch, the Canton Rash, or whatever delicate nickname he preferred to use.

The Sweethome tested 54 tights and has declared these tights the best, most durable tights in the existence of tights (specifically: "black, footed leg coverings that are semi-opaque to opaque… and which can be worn in both professional and personal settings"). Lululemon's spray-on tights were not included in the round-up. [The Sweethome]

Hello there, and congratulations, for you have bravely chosen to embark upon a voyage into the world of male investment! As seasoned veterans of the man management business, it’s long been our position that claiming personal stake in male humans brings with it manifold benefits. As a new entrant into the market, you should know that male investment is a frequently frustrating and only occasionally productive practice. We're here to make sure you know what to look for when it comes to building your portfolio.

Like a precious stone, male investment has many facets. When most people think of investing, their minds often turn to “romantic investment” arrangements. These [...]

We've all been there: You're having a great day, just hangin' out with your friends, enjoying your space, when one of those pesky pop stars shows up thinking he can seduce you with his sexist lyrics and gyrating hips. Sometimes it's so vulgar and obscene you're flabbergasted and stand there, wondering what you should say! Well, wonder no more. Here's a handy guide of appropriate responses and clever come-backs that will banish the know-nothing chauvinists who have somehow weaseled their way onto the radio.

IF HE SAYS:

YOU SHOULD SAY:

Ok, first of all, not a big deal or anything, but just so you don’t get embarrassed in the [...]

WHITE CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA NUT First name John, last name Gacy, middle name Wayne.

PEANUT TOFFEE BUZZ My, you sure are grumpy today, aren'tcha? Didn't have time to get your iced Americano today, didya? Better take this fiber-enrobed shit nugget to the face.

OATMEAL RAISIN WALNUT Just eat a cookie chased by a hardboiled egg.

MAPLE NUT It's the dead of winter and you can hear the satisfying crunch of snow beneath your feet as you journey deeper into the woods, fiendishly in search of sustenance. A winter bunny bounds past, but you are too slow to catch it. A reindeer with a meaty looking flank makes direct eye contact, but [...]

–Instead of the popular ladies' flower crown, wear an actual crown of thorns. Fit it so that it punctures your forehead flesh just enough. If blood gets in your eyes a little bit but you don’t feel that lightheaded, you’re doing it right.

–Pull your jean shorts up as high above your belly button as they will possibly go. Stuff your stomach meat into the shorts (must be denim) and button them NO MATTER WHAT. Button every button. If you pinch some skin with a button, leave it! You will get used to the pain and the skin clumps will eventually fall off, sort of like your umbilical cord. Patch [...]

Millions of passwords, credit card numbers and other personal information may be at risk as a result of a major breakdown in Internet security revealed earlier this week.

The damage caused by the "Heartbleed" bug is currently unknown. The security hole exists on a vast number of the Internet's Web servers and went undetected for more than two years. While it's conceivable that the flaw was never discovered by hackers, it's nearly impossible to tell. -The AP

Here is a foolproof guide to changing your personal passwords during this crisis.

MATT DAMON

Imagine you're lying in a meadow and Matt Damon is shirtless next to you. He smells [...]