It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, August 3rd! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Shark Attack: Rebellion, America’s Got Talent, and Shark Attack: Survivor!

CAN’T-MISS CLIP: BWE and The Office‘s Guide To What Is Safe and Not Safe At Work. (BWE)

SUFFOCATED SWEETHEART: Nick Lachey told girlfriend Vannessa Mannillo that his goal to get remarried means that she had better be serious about their relationship and, most importantly, getting Newlyweds 2: For Real This Time a place in E!’s 2007 reality programming schedule. (The Bosh)

CAST-OFF WISDOM: Jamie Foxx says that the part of the new James Bond should have gone to P. Diddy instead of Daniel Craig. But then again, a guy can say a lot of crazy things when he’s been binging on Cristal and blowing lines off naked Laker Girls on his aspiring actor buddy’s yacht for three days straight. (IDLYITW)

SEE-THROUGH SIMPSON #1: The hard-hitting investigative reporters over at Marie Claire had to dig a little deeper to make the startling discovery that Ashlee Simpson may not be completely authentic, and is possibly using the press for selfish purposes as opposed to an open forum in which she can fearlessly share her real feelings, fears and frustrations. (Junkiness)

SEE-THROUGH SIMPSON #2: Possibly trying to support her sister’s credibility, Jessica Simpson uses her unsupported breasts and a revealing dress to hypnotize us into forgetting about Ashlee, forgetting about her lies, forgetting…very…sleepy. (Hot Online News)

After discovering that Damien Jurado has a blog on which he occasionally posts demo tracks, Said the Gramophone downloaded and posted one of them for so you can listen to it without having to sift through some sensitive musician type’s online diary.

Bows + Arrows discovers that Matthew Friedberger has a cool new solo record that might just be good enough to beat the heat surrounding his other band, The Fiery Furnaces.

KCRW’s live studio performances are awesome. Broken Social Scene is awesome. Surviving the Golden Age has KCRW’s live studio performance by Broken Social Scene. If you like stuff that is awesome, there’s really only one logical thing to do.

GvB doesn’t tell us what Cansei De Ser Sexy means, but if I had to guess it’s probably how you say “nonsense punk band in ironic 80’s clothes that are really sweaty” in some secret hipster language only spoken by American Apparel models and Pitchfork writers.

MOKB seems to these tracks from The Changes might change your life for be for the better, but probably not as much as The Shins did.

We here at BWE got our hands on some exclusive footage of Samuel L. Jackson’s recent EW photoshoot for Snakes On A Plane. The audio sucks and the video is nothing special, but you know what… there are SNAKES on a PLANE. What more do you need?

Time Trumpet, a new show on the BBC, is a fake news program set in the future which “looks back” on hypothetical “newsworthy events”. Picture watching Dateline tonight, only the episode time-travelled from 2031, and was taped in a world where where terrorism and suicide bombings are par for the course. The result? A really disturbing television show, featuring computer-generated footage of an airplane flying into Big Ben and a post-assasination Tony Blair. One segment even features “The Terrorism Awards” (please, God, let Star Jones work that red carpet.) The show is causing multiple-conniptions across England, with many urging folks to write to the BBC and demand the show be removed from the airwaves. It’s hard to make the final call — the images are truly disturbing — but then again seeing Tom Cruise as a small old man in a vest has kind of made the afternoon for us. Decide for yourself.

Hey. Are you one of those people who watches The World Series of Pop Culture on VH1 and shouts out every answer at the TV screen? You give a little fist pump when you’re right, and then awkwardly look around to make sure nobody’s watching you get pumped up about a basic cable game show through the window? Hey, me too!

The WSoPC finale airs tonight, but the fun doesn’t have to (see what I did there?). Go play The World Series of Pop Culture game over at Vh1.com. You’ll still feel like an idiot when you break into random fist pumps, but don’t worry, we won’t judge you. Well, maybe just a little bit.

Cityrag points us toward this list of the Top 10 Videos that Broke the Rules. According to those surveyed, Madonna‘s Like a Prayer is the most rule-breaking video of all time. And while Madonna dominates the list with 3 out of 10 slots, there is absolutely no way that Vogue broke more rules than her 1993 NSFW video for Erotica. Frankly — the whole list is crap! Everyone knows that the most rule breaking music video of all time is R. Kelly peeing all over that little girl. (And for those of out there thinking “That was pretty good, but I’d rather waste company time reading an incredibly long-winded, Tolstoy-esque account of the 50 greatest movie endings of all time”? Enjoy.)

According to Defamer, celebrity self-mutilator Steve-O said he was able to overcome his longtime addiction to cocaine by hanging out with Nicole Richie. He goes on to explain that even though he only knew her in passing, and that she had no knowledge of his drug problem, Nicole’s very presence provided Steve-O with the motivation he needed to take his first steps towards sobriety-o. In the perfect Hollywood ending, the National Drug Council found the Jackass’ tale so touching, it inspired them to launch a new drug-awareness campaign using America’s addiction to inane celebrities as a way to warn them about the dangers of addiction to drugs. Here’s the first one:

Thanks to jellobomb for dropping the new OK Go video “Here It Goes Again.” Seriously- it’s the best music video I’ve ever seen in my life. This one puts “A Million Ways” to shame. I’m going right out and buying 6 treadmills just so I can play along at home.