AKRON, OH—In a rare display of bipartisanship just one day before the presidential election, President Barack Obama and Republican challenger Mitt Romney came together Monday to urge Americans to purchase The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge. “This nation is divided, it's been through hell, and The Onion Book Of Known…

LANGHORNE, PA—In an attempt to sway any voters who remain undecided in the Democratic-leaning state, Republican candidate Mitt Romney announced Friday that any resident of Pennsylvania who votes for him in the upcoming election can have his wife, Ann, for one hour. “One vote for me gets you 60 minutes alone with Ann…

NEW YORK—As part of his continued effort to torment the 34-year-old statistician and blogger, feared New York Times bully Derek Kriesel reportedly slapped a stack of opinion polls from Nate Silver’s hands Friday, scattering the surveys across the floor of the organization’s newsroom. “Pick them up, you little fuckin’…

With the election four days away and much of New Jersey still reeling from Hurricane Sandy, state officials announced that military trucks would serve as polling locations in hard-hit areas. What do you think?

NEW YORK—In its November 2012 issue, out on newsstands this week, Good Car magazine bestowed its trademark “This Is A Good Car” ranking upon the 2013 Hyundai Sonata, which the publication features on its cover. “From its good handling, good fuel-efficiency, and good reliability, to a range of good safety features and…

MIRANSHAH, PAKISTAN—According to CIA officials and sources on the ground in the region, an unlikely friendship has developed between a 9-year-old Pakistani boy and a U.S. MQ-1 Predator drone in North Waziristan. “You’d think they would have nothing in common, and yet you see them together all the time, wandering…

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ—In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, Atlantic City officials warned Friday that it could take weeks or even months for the storm-ravaged gambling hub to fully repair its infrastructure and get back to utterly and completely ruining people’s lives.

MANTOLOKING, NJ—Saying he had been deeply shaken by the extent of Hurricane Sandy’s destruction, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney visited the storm-battered mid-Atlantic coast Thursday to help victims repair and re-erect thousands of downed Romney-Ryan campaign signs. “I’ve toured up and down the coastline,…

This year, the American people face one of the most stark and important elections of our time, with much at stake for average citizens and their families. Election Day is less than a week away, and with my campaign running neck-in-neck with Mitt Romney’s, I fully recognize this is probably not the ideal moment to…

Driven by a massive spending push from super PACs and other advocacy groups in the final days of the election season, the total cost of all federal campaigns this year is estimated to reach $6 billion, surpassing the previous record of $5.3 billion set in 2008. What do you think?