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I was gonna say something about Gil’s career counseling — urging Heather to get into a profession that treats newbies like dog meat, where you have to take awful no-pay jobs in the faint hope of career advancement, you move constantly, PLUS extra bonus hard-core misogyny. But then I realized, Heather is thinking about a profession that (I know from first-hand experience) is going down the toilet in a hurry, so coaching doesn’t look that bad by comparison.

In fact, since strip writer Neal Rubin is a longtime journalist himself, I wonder if Heather’s intention isn’t a bit of a wink to the audience. Or a cry for help.

Heather is apparently oblivious to the fact that journalists are a dying breed. Maybe she can become a blogger and live in a van down by the river.

Trying to be a woman football coach is a close second on dumb potential career choices. There are probably a handful of those in the whole country. Of course she might find another lazy ass head coach like Gil who would like to find someone to do his job for him for peanuts.

I hope basketball season is cancelled and the next 3 months are just alternating strips of Gil and Marty alternately trying to sway Heather to follow in their footsteps. Then Kaz and that reporter from the Milford Star can step in as seconds after the feud ends in violence.

2. Journalism? Seriously? So all that bullshit about wanting to be a physio was another red herring (and this season has already had about 10 of them)?

3. So Heather has the same basic level of knowledge about the game as any teenager who casually watches the NFL and plays Madden on Xbox, and this somehow qualifies her to be an offensive coordinator? Why isn’t there the slightest hint of shame, remorse, or self-reflection from Gil/Kaz that some rank amateur teenager is infinitely better at their jobs than they are?? And why the hell doesn’t Heather know soccer strategy this well, given that she played it for three fucking years?

4. I just want to close by adding that this storyline and Rubin sucked so very very hard… Instead of focusing half the plot on Kevin learning to hand the ball off without fumbling and he scratched and clawed his way up to fifth-string QB, he should have been cut out altogether…

5. What weirdo alternate universe is this where a cute, athletic teenage girl who knows football better than most fantasy geeks doesn’t have potential love interests/ESPN+Fox Sports beating down her door?

So, a little casual wikipedia reading after my morning settled down reveals that Hayden Fry is still with us and maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to publicly call people names based on vague recollections from a childhood spent rooting for a rival Big Ten school. If anyone related to Mr. Fry reads this, please note that the title of this post is meant strictly in jest and that I have no patience for Kirk Ferentz either.