For Thanksgiving, we went to visit Rob's family in Milwaukee. Because they tend not to be very plan-oriented people, I knew they would leave us to our own devices a lot, so I brought Sims 2 to play with. The main problem I have with this game is that it overheats my computer and causes shutdowns after about 30-60 minutes of play (and this is with the laptop cooling pad).

I brought it out at Melissa's house. Melissa is one of Rob's 3 sisters, is married to Christian, and has two children, Sovereign (5) and Johnny (4). The kids were FASCINATED by Sims. Being the nice aunt I am, I let them play with me, and we made up Computer!Melissa, Computer!Christian, Computer!Sovereign and Computer!Johnny. (The kids LOVED being able to choose their clothes. Computer!Sovereign runs around in a fairy costume. :)

I moved the family into a house in Veronaville, since all my other play has been in Pleasantview. Those of you who're more familiar with Sims 2, maybe this makes more sense to you than it did to me. I can only figure that the rules are different in Veronaville.

So, some neighbors came up to talk to the Olsons (my family). They interacted, the kids ran around and played, everyone was having a great time. Then the computer shut off, and I had to put it away. I didn't bring it out until after Thanksgiving dinner, with small cousins everywhere. Sovereign and Johnny begged to see what Computer!Sovereign and Computer!Johnny were up to, so I pulled out the laptop and fired it up.

Okay. Kids running around playing, C!Melissa chatting with neighbors, while C!Christian went into the house to do something. We watched the kids for a while, then I went into the house to see what C!Christian was up to.

The stove was on fire.

I hadn't bought a phone for the house, so I couldn't call the fire department. I was laughing, though, and I figured out to click on the fire and choose "Extinguish." C!Christian tried that. It didn't work. He did it again. Still not working. C!Christian stood around waving his arms, yelling "Fire!" Argh.

C!Melissa came in and also started waving her arms and yelling "Fire!" One of the counters caught fire. I managed to put the stove out, but then another counter caught fire. I was getting annoyed. The kids were rapt. "Is there a fire? Why don't they put out the fire?"

"I'm trying," I replied. "They're being stupid."

One counter put out, another went ablaze. C!Melissa tried to put it out by, apparently, standing on it.

C!Melissa caught fire.

Neighbors, who'd been standing around waving their arms and looking horrified, suddenly got very polite looks on their faces and left, saying, "Bye." C!Melissa stood there and waved her arms, shrieking in symbols like Sims do. All around her were piles of ash from the previous fires. I tried to tell her to extinguish herself. She wouldn't. I tried to get C!Christian to extinguish her. He did, but she immediately caught fire again. I tried to get C!Melissa to GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE so someone could put her out without her catching on fire again, but she wouldn't go!

The kids were fascinated. "Why is Mommy on fire? Why doesn't she stop, drop, and roll?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I can't make her do that."

I tried everything I could, but her life signs were rapidly diminishing. Terrified that the kids would soon see a pile of ash where Mommy used to be, I surreptitiously unplugged the computer, then let the battery drop out. Screen went black. "Oh, no, the game made the computer die again!" The kids were disappointed, but they'd seen that happen before, so they weren't outraged. I sat there, laughing in shock and horror. As one of the cousins scooted away, I heard "That was cooooooool."

I almost showed the kids their mom burning to death. WTF?? Why the hell did that happen?

I wish I had some screenshots, because it's pretty funny after the fact.

I ended up recreating the family and putting them in Pleasantview. So far, no fires. Whew.