I love looking in the mirror and feeling good about what I see Heather Morris

These past few weeks, I’ve been pondering about the meaning of love. It seems everyone is chasing this elusive emotion like a dangled carrot. Some of us realize that it takes vulnerability (which is not a sign of weakness, by the way). Others, on their online profile - especially those who’ve been burned before - speak of getting back in the saddle, getting a second chance, or doing it right this time around. People profess to want to feel a spark, a connection at a deeper level. Yet, they send messages filled with platitudes like “how are you?” or full of desperation like “I have to meet you, I hope you respond, I’ll move for you.” Anything, to start a conversation that may go nowhere.

Some profess to be in search of the person who will complete them, complement their life, or who will consciously grow aside them, a life partner. Yet, my observations are that often actions and words do not match. Why the dissonance?

Is it that we truly believe what we wrote on our profile or did we write what we think others want to hear? Is it that we are projecting who we would like to be? Or do we genuinely believe we’ve done the work, we've dealt with our past and are ready to move on? Could it be that we are searching for something outside of ourselves, but we haven’t found it inside of us first? Are we so in love with the chase for love that we let real opportunities pass us by? Is it that, deep down inside, we are terrified and prefer the proverbial devil we know?... and we wonder why we have not yet met “the one”?

I don't have the answers. Everyone is different! However, I’d like to suggest that we need to accept ourselves as we are, change what does not serve us well, and more important, give ourselves the love and approval we seek from others. Perhaps then, when we least suspect it, love will find us.