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Monday, July 8, 2013

Letters To Superheroes: Issue #6 Dear Wonder Woman

Dear Diana,

I know it's been awhile since you heard from me, but I have been busy trying to finally score you that film deal. I figured you must be getting restless by now and so I decided to drop you a line. First of all, good news on your serialized biography, it continues to sell very well. I know you weren't thrilled about the comics format, but hey babe, you gotta do whatcha gotta do.

Sure, sure, sure, previous movie adaptations have fallen through left and right, but this time, there seems to be a little traction going forward. You heard of this super guy in Metropolis? They made a film on him. Did fairly well too. Anyway, they want to cover more of you peoples. I even heard they're thinking of making a film 'bout that fish guy who's got cancer. I'm confident that this time your story will be told on the big screen.

Sweet cheeks, I know you're still fuming about the way you were portrayed in the cartoons a few years ago, but that's all over. Soon people will know that you're not just some uptight, frigid chick who grew up in a lesbian colony. Once this film gets made they'll know the fun side of you that I've got to know over the years. We'll make sure they stick close to the true story too. No liberties taken.

Perhaps one liberty taken. I'm hearing they want to redesign your outfit for the silver screen. They took away super dude's underwear from his costume, and they want to put more clothes on you for the big screen. I guess the corset you wear isn't considered PC anymore. Feminists, eh toots? I don't know, maybe they're just biased against underwear.

So hold on, baby-girl, your time is almost come. You just sit tight, look pretty, and let your big daddy take care of you.