Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Welcome to Kpopalypse's 2014 favourite k-pop songs list! It's time
once again to run through my best songs of the previous 12 months!
Although k-pop's first Golden Age is definitely over and 2014 was
honestly pretty meh overall, it still had some jewels to be found and
here they are. Get ready to listen to some songs that I believe don't
suck... and hopefully you'll also find out about a few that have so far
flown under your radar!

I
assume that because you've all actually clicked here and are reading my
worst-of list, you can actually handle some criticism of your bias
constructively and maturely. However if this list has too many nasty
negative vibes for you, remember that I have a favourites list as well so why not read that instead, you complete fucking pussy? Otherwise, read on!

2014 has been a year full of ups and downs, with many hilarious plot twists we never saw coming on top of many tragedies we never wanted to experience. Regardless, 2014 was a surprisingly good year for Kpop musically. I don't know if I'm early or late on this, but since people wanted me to share my opinion on the best songs of 2014, here's my picks for the year.

I know most people here won't like the song since it's a ballad and I'm basically the only one here who likes ballads, but watch it for the two hot girls kissing. (I do have plans on reviewing "Play" and "Medusa" when I get the time.)

Thursday, December 25, 2014

This year, as we celebrate the holiday season, we reflect on what brought us all to AKF. Author Krakenoid (who can't access a computer this week, #prayforKrakenoid) asks you to share your stories of what made you "come to the light" and shed your fangirl/fanboy ways.

As you FISHies know, I live a fairly private life. But since I have been gone for so long, I thought I would do something special for my favourite people. Today I am going to share with you some of my personal text messages regarding a certain SNSD-related scandal that occurred not too long ago that I just had to return for.

Context: my friend just read about the rumours (well, now confirmed) that Jessica was kicked out of SNSD - potentially due to some alleged tiffs between Taeyeon and Jessica.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Yes Kpopalypse is back with your yearly Christmas present - reviews
of all the shitty Christmas songs that everybody hates! I posted a
Christmas song round-up last year
and quite sensibly nobody gave a shit, so like I always do when I sense
that people would rather I didn't do something, I return to do it again
on a regular basis! Grab a nice cup of your favourite Christmas
beverage and gather around while I take a Christmas-pudding-sized shit
on all of 2014's worthless money-draining sentimental dick-sucking
Christmas trash!

Originally, I wasn't supposed to take over AKF until next year, but plans change rapidly. I was supposed to take over after AKF enrolled in graduate school, but he got a job lined up for next summer, so I had to take over much earlier than anticipated. AKF will still write when he has time, but with him stepping back and taking an advisory role to me and the other AKF admins, there will be some changes in how things are done around here.

Monday, December 22, 2014

So apparently Hyeri of Girl's Day committed some kind of unspeakable crime insulting Dongwoon of B2ST in the most offensive way possible that only a filthy slut like her could even imagine, and then like a literal bitch eating her own shit, only made it far worse by directly tweeting an obviously fake apology to him because hey, why not get some hate? Shits fun.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Wow, it has been so long since I started this "series" I should probably reiterate that it stands for "Ways you might be full of shit" and I actually had to go back searching through my published posts to remember that. Anyway, my last one actually happened to be on slut-shaming, and this is a bit similar, but it is also about "slut"-lover-hating and many aspects of sexual performances and sexual objectification and everything.

So gather round kids, because I hope to open up your world to what a complicated bitch life is.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hello, FISHies. It has been quite a while hasn't it? My apologies (as per usual) for my leave of absence. But I will not bore you with excuses. I have a bunch of submissions in my inbox (both e-mails and Asks) to sift through, so be ready for plenty of upcoming STFUs! Maybe even an article or two of my own will pop up =D! Haha, but let's not kid ourselves.

Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled articles.

~*~*~

This week's quote comes from a friend of mine. Who found it. "Found" it. He claims it isn't him. Yeah okay bud. We don't judge here.

Just kidding. We only judge people here. Anyways, now here's 'Wonderwall':

Saturday, December 13, 2014

It's Kpopalypse here with the return of Red Light Mission! This is the third and definitely the final chapter of the collaborative AKF/Kpopalypse fanfic! As AKF is busier than ever we're wrapping this series up, and as usual both of us have contributed to the story. It's up to you to guess who did what. Enjoy!

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Thanks to everybody who did the 2014 end-of-year mega-survey! Over
850 responses were collected, breaking the current record for Kpopalypse
survey participation - wow! Here's all the results for you, the lovely
readers!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

My first reaction was "NOOOOOO!!! He's too talented to be a drug dealer!" Now that I've calmed down, I realize this whole "drug dealer" accusation is just a way to silence an amazing artist. Can't people just stfu about stuff they don't know? Oppa doesn't sell drugs, and here's how I know.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

In k-pop the music video is often as important as the song. I'd even
go out on a not-very-dangerous limb and say it's a lot more important
than the song in most cases, and for a bunch of different reasons,
ranging from building a brand, to building interest in the performers,
to product placement, to connecting to global audiences and more. K-pop
is at least as much of a visual phenomenon as it is an auditory one,
this much is obvious. What's a little less obvious to a lot of people
is how much money and effort is involved, so that's what this post is
going to discuss... hopefully in a way that doesn't bore you to shit.

What makes a music video "cheap" or "expensive"? How do I tell which is which? Attentive readers will note that one of my recent Nugu Alert posts
touched on the topic of video expenses. However I didn't go into a lot
of detail in that post, and I've been getting requests to write
something more in-depth about music video costs ever since, so here we
go.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

With all the controversy surrounding SNSD lately, common knowledge would be to expect them to all lay low and reflect on their mistakes. Sadly, like the backstabbing bitches they are (#JUSTICEFORJESSICA #JESSICAWASFRAMED #TAEYEONDIDIT), this was not to be so.

We've received reports that the remaining SNSD members are currently embroiled in a new scandal, this time cyberbullying Yuri.

I (as in Zaku) thought we'd try a duo-review after some time since the last one. This particular collaboration is between me (as in Zaku still) and HanYeSeul Fag.

HYS_F:

I have never thought this quote from Mr. Mackey was more true than when I listened to "Good Boy." Good God, I have no idea where to start about what is wrong with this song. However, I can tell you the source of the shittiness of the song.

You
guys and girls like surveys. I like it that you like surveys. You said
you wanted more surveys, bigger, longer, fatter, and with more cao ni
ma action. Your wish is granted in the KPOPALYPSE END OF YEAR MEGA
SURVEY!

Finally after the long wait, KARA’s ex-member, Nicole, is back with a solo debut. Now we all know that she’s not that strong of a vocal, hell, she's mediocre, but of course, she tried her luck with a song that wasn’t extremely vocal-heavy, and the outcome was… interesting?