Welcome to the National Runaway Safeline Forum, where you can post your questions, thoughts, and concerns about what it's like to be a teenager or a parent. If there's something you've been wondering about, please ask. Chances are good that a lot of other people have been wondering the same thing.

In maine, age 16, leaving home hopefully. Help?

12-07-2011, 07:22 PM

I want to move out. I am miserable and I will be 17 in 4 months. Was hoping to leave on my 17th birthday?? What can myparents do and the police do? I know my parents will fight to get me home but i don't want it. I can't stand being at home anymore, how can i get out? I would get emancipated, but it takes sooo long and they might just turn it down. I want to move in with my boyfriends family and live there. His mom said she will feed me, it is local so I can still go to school, and she will buy me food and clothes and treat me like I was her own, she said she is willing to do all of those things for me. What is my best bet? I want to get out and soon, but in the quietest, easiest way possible, and I DON'T WANT TO BE IN TROUBLE WITH THE COPS! I don't want to run away and have to come home because someone finds me. How can I run away without anyone being able to send me to interim care or my parents and the cops making me come home??? Please help!?

Hello, and thanks for contacting us at the National Runaway Switchboard.

It sounds like you’re thinking about leaving the house on your 17th birthday in four months, because you’re unhappy at home. That sounds difficult and stressful. Plus, you’re thinking about making a big decision about leaving home, which is stressful to think about.

You asked what your parents do, and what the police can do. Generally speaking, in most states you are considered a minor until you are 18 years old – this is the case in Maine. If a person’s parents are his or her legal guardians, then those parents have a legal right to report a runaway child to the local police, generally speaking. Once the police have been notified, they are likely to return a runaway youth to the parents as soon as they locate the youth. While running away is a crime, it is usually considered a “status offense,” which means the youth is typically taken home, and not arrested.

If you want more specific information, you can try calling the Non-Emergency Line for your local police department, and ask them hypothetically how they respond to runaway calls.

You mentioned your desire to be emancipated, but that the process takes too long. Your view on this is understandable. However, if you want information on emancipation in Maine, we can provide you with contact numbers for legal aid organizations, who provide legal assistance at a low cost in your community.

You also stated that you want to move in with your boyfriend’s family, but are unsure how you can accomplish this. It sounds like a difficult situation you’re dealing with. If you leave without permission, there is a possibility you will be returned home by the police. Furthermore, if your boyfriend’s parents have you in their home when the police locate you, then your boyfriend’s parents can be charged with “harboring a runaway.” (If you need more information about harboring a runaway, as above we can provide you with contact numbers for legal aid organizations, who provide legal assistance at a low cost in your community.

Can you think of a way to accomplish your goals with permission from your parents? Some people who have been in your position have tried working out a compromise with his or her parents, in order to get permission to move. Does that sound like something you would want to try?

You may want to call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929) to continue this conversation. The call center is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can also chat with us online here at our website from 4:30pm to 11:30pm every day.

Thanks for getting in touch, and take care.

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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Thanks for contacting us tonight. It seems like you’re going through some tough things at home and are trying to move somewhere else. It sounds like you’ve come up with a good option, but might not have your mom’s permission. So let’s see how we can help you out today.

Just so you know, we are not legal experts here, but we can speak generally as to what might happen. So if you leave before you turn 18, then your mom has the right to call the police and file a runaway report. It is not illegal to runaway, and in most states, it’s something considered a status offense. There’s no fine with it, but it’s something equivalent to a parking ticket. If the cops find you, all they would do is return you back home to your mom.
If you’d like to talk through options or have any questions about the legalities, you can call us at anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are completely confidential and anonymous. If calling isn’t your thing, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you.

It seems like there are options available to you, so try not to lose hope. We are here to support you in anything that you might need.

Best of luck to you,

NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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im 16 can i leave my adoptive moms home to go live with my birth mother

I'm 16 and i live in Maine. I live with my adoptive mother who by birth would be my great aunt on my moms side. My adoptive mother exspects me to listen to ever little detail and no matter what i do or.how hard i try its never enough. She has ever gone to the point of if i mess by not doing everything exactly the way she wants she's going to send me to a boys home.
now what i am wondering is can i move in with someone else and will the cops be able to bring me back to my adoptive moms home.
also the person i want to live with is my birth mom but the things is that her rights to me as a parent where terminated when my aunt adopted me. There is nothing bad that goes on in that home.
so my final question is would i be able to move out of my aunts home to go live with my birth mother and would the police bring me back to my adoptive mom

IP

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re: im 16 can i leave my adoptive moms home to go live with my birth mother

Hi and thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot with your family and that you are really unhappy with how things are going with your adoptive mother. We’re glad you’ve reached out. Have you tried talking with her about how you are feeling? On service that we can offer is a conference call between you and your adoptive mom where you can have a chance to express your concerns. If you are interested in conference calling, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (24 hours a day) and we can make an outgoing call together. Sometimes youth feel more comfortable talking to parents when they have a safe space with us on the line to support them so we are definitely here to help with that.

Things must be really hard for you at home since you asked about what can happen if you move in with someone else without permission. Although we are not legal experts, we can tell you that in most places at the age of 16, you are considered a legal minor which means that if you left home without permission, your adoptive mom would have the right to file a runaway report. What that means is that if you were picked up by the police, you would be returned to her. Also so you know, if you did stay with your birth mom, she could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. To know about laws and rights in your area, you can contact your local police department through the non-emergency line. Otherwise, you can call us or chat with us (chat from 4:30-11:30pm CST) to talk more about what’s going on and we can look into some other options available.

Take care,
-NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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Hi and thanks for contacting NRS. It sounds like you want some space from your parents right now. Is there something going on in particular that is causing you to need to get away? Sometimes it can help to talk through what is happening and how you are feeling about it. Is there anyone that you can reach out to and feel safe sharing? We are here for you 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY or from 4:30-11:30pm CST to talk things through and explore lots of options available to you if it would be helpful.

It’s great that you are thinking ahead about what some of your legal consequences might actually be if you leave. Although we are not legal experts we can tell you that at 17, your parents probably still have the right to file a runaway report. If they did have you filed as a runaway, they would also usually have the right to press charges against anyone harboring you. You can also contact your local police department through the non-emergency line for a more specific answer about laws in your area. Take care and stay safe,

-NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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Im 16 and want to get emancipated Im home all alone 98% of the time anyways and I know how to take care of myself I want to live with my boyfriend who I go to school with Im a straight A student and working on getting a job how do I do this I need some direction please

IP

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Hi there and thanks for contacting NRS. It sounds like you are looking for some help on how you can be independent because you feel like you are basically on your own anyway. Do you ever feel unsafe or uncared for being at home? If your parent/guardian is not caring for you appropriately and you feel as though you are being neglected, you can always contact the Maine Abuse Reporting hotline at 1-800-452-1999 and indicate neglect.

You mentioned that you are interested in emancipation. Emancipation can definitely be a good solution for many youth and from what you are saying you are really hoping it might work for you. We are not legal experts, but according to our resources at 16 you could file a petition with the court. Sometimes the court will ask that you try other things such as mediation, family counseling, etc, but then they will consider your petition. You can check out this website for more info: http://www.ptla.org/ptlasite/cliente...ancipation.htm

If you have other questions or are looking for different resources, you can contact us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are completely confidential and anonymous and want to make sure you get the support and help that you need. Take care,
-NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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I'm 14 years old and all I want is to go to my aunts house in a different state and live there... But my dad is trying to make me cut them off like he did and he doesn't want me to talk to any one of them, and I hate him. So how do I get my aunt to get custody of me?

IP

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We are sorry to hear your dad is trying to cut you off from your aunt. We appreciate you reaching out and we are here to help however we can. If you want to talk about what is making you want to leave your home and live with your aunt, we are here to listen. Unfortunately we don't provide legal advice, however, we'd be happy to give you a number for you to contact someone in your area that can explain custody laws. Our Live Chat is now open (big red button at http://www.1800runaway.org) and opens every day from 4:30 to 11:30pm CST. If you have trouble, you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Hope to chat or call you soon.

-NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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I'm currently 16 years old, 17 in 2 months. I work a part time job as a hostess, im enrolled in school, and i just completed a CNA course so i can get a second job as a CNA this summer in hope that i can save enough money to buy my own car so that i can move out. I get treated with no respect by my step mother and ive had troubles with her since i was very young and i need to move out. i feel as if im very responsible and mature enough to live on my own. What can the police or my parents do if i leave with a car that i bought with my own money during the summer to live elsewhere?

IP

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Thanks for reaching out to us for help. We are sorry to hear that you are not treated with respect by your step mother. That must be very frustrating. It sounds like you are responsible enough to have a job and go to school, and like you are making plans for your future. You should know that if you move out before you turn 18, you can be reported as a runaway. Running away is not a crime, but it means that your parents can have the police make you go back home. It sounds like you are trying to make sure that you have reliable transportation to work before you move out. You should know that you might find it difficult to get a car and insurance without their help, since you cannot sign any contracts without a cosigner before you turn 18. If the car is in your parent's name, it is possible that they could report it stolen if you run off with it, even if you bought it with your own money. Do you believe that your parents would do that kind of thing? You also would not be able to rent an apartment or sign other contracts without the cooperation of your parents until you turn 18, which could be challenging. If you have any questions about this, or you want to talk about your plans and options, we are here to listen and support you however we can. You can call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) 24/7, or chat with us online every day between 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST on www.1800RUNAWAY.org. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Best of luck,

NRS

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.