Johnny Queer

There’s been SO much press and discussion about Johnny’s “STARS On Ice” exclusion, and of him wanting to produce his own alternative show, complete with his Lady Gaga. I didn’t trust that any producer could get this off the ground as a tour…MAYBE as a one-time tv special (Johnny, please prove me wrong!). So, with my wildest fantasies sparked, I took the bull by the horns, and dreamt up something truly “family friendly” (nudge nudge, wink wink):“GAY STARS On Ice & Friends!”Instead of creating an entirely new name, it’s a more effective rubbing-in-the-face to alter it slightly…and “RAINBOWS On Ice” just doesn’t have any ring to it.

Some would argue that “STARS On Ice” IS essentially “GAY STARS On Ice…” already, in everything but name. However, the reaction to Johnny’s request for inclusion has clued us into the fact that this is not the case, at least as per some of the mainstream target audience. No, surprisingly, Johnny hasn’t verbally “come out,” but he upholds “gay” where it counts, and I, and gay kids everywhere applaud him for that.

The programs and performances would tip the scales in favor of the campy, flamboyant, and festive. BUT, there would be plenty of true, heartfelt gravitas as well, with a strong nod to high-classical repertoire (ie: from full-length ballet, and opera). It would honor and encourage the young aesthetic and spirit, AND the old gays.

What makes something “gay“ (besides the skater)? In short…1) a triumphant rising-from-the-ashes return of a diva (see Bobek and Harding); 2) male face makeup and glitter (ie: Johnny doing Gaga); 3)pride anthems (see Sandhu and Sawyer’s programs); 4) a nod to the older gay generation(s), who paved the way and, yes, we know, had it much harder (see Cranston); 5) plenty of pop and opera diva icons; and all this:

Girlfight(by Brooke Valentine) – ALL the gurlz, in a Showgirls-style bitch brawl!

The Real Me(LIVE, by Clay Aiken) – Kevin Reynolds (look-alikes!)

Brokeback Mountain Medley – Stéphane Lambiel & Ryan Bradley

If My Friends Could See Me Now (from Sweet Charity) – Complete Cast

Showgirl Oksana!

Not Your “Gay”?

Look, there’s not only one way to be “out,” or to embody “gay,” but my feeling is, if you’re gonna, why not have a hell of a good time, and let it all hang out!? Some of these are my true wishes, and some of them more of an amusing “fantasie” on the concept. Any producers interested? Call me!Or, any other great ideas for inclusion: skaters or programs?

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12 comments so far

Love this idea … if you threw in an Elton John song, maybe he’d spring some money for this. Only thing is you left out Minneapolis!

Astro
on
March 13, 2010

This tour sounds amazing. Loooove the fact that you included Shawn Sawyer. He’s a fabulous skater. I wish he and Johnny Weir would be on the same tour someday. Too bad it probably won’t happen though.😦