Near moment of weakness

I've been an atheist since my pre teens, and feel more comforted by my way of life every day, but today I am having a hard time. I have been out of work for a year now, and while my wife makes good money, we have a mind boggling amount of credit card/loan debt, and it's very quickly getting the best of us. So much so that we are seriously considering bankruptcy, and find that very scary. I've been applying for jobs for a long time, and today I pounded the pavement all day without a glimmer of hope.

I have a Christian radio station on one of my car stereo settings, that I listen to for a laugh once in a while, and put it on today. My moment of weakness came when they were talking the usual 'God-is-listening-and-has-a-plan-and-ask-for-help' mumbo jumbo, and I almost asked for assistance. I didn't of course, but I got a good understanding of why people talk to God, as pointless as it is. My problem is I am finding myself a little depressed and needing someone to boost my spirit. I am always optimistic, but I think you can be TOO optimistic, and now it's just gotten to the point where I think I'm just wishfully thinking. My wife is there, but I tend to be the supportive one in our relationship, and now it feels like my world is caving in.

I don't remember if I have a point, but I just had to get it off my chest

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Oh I'm not American, I'm Canadian. I left my last job because I was hired to fill in for a maternity and she came back so I was down to 4 hours a week. I have been laid off before though.

I'm a kitchen designer, and it's something I Iove doing, finally, but there's not much demand for it in my area. I don't want to do anything else, only to yearn for my passion and be miserable, but I just have to face the facts. I can always leave should something better comes along.

Thought I'd post an update for anyone interested. My latest career path has been as a kitchen designer, and there is just zero opportunities in my area. I went to a job fair yesterday, and all there was were call center and financial planning jobs, which are depressing as hell. After the job fair I went to see a guy opening a kitchen store to which I've applied as designer. He's not done setting up the store yet, but he assigned me to design his showroom and show him my work, and if he liked it the job is mine! Later that night I went for beer and wings with him and his crew, and he basically said as long as I don't screw up my plans I've got the job.

So I finally managed to get a job doing something I love, not working for a big box store, and I am getting in on the ground floor of his business, all without "God's" help! Now I just have to wait 3 weeks for his store to be open. :)