June 2011

06/22/2011

Filipina nurse receives an inheritance of a lifetime from the multi-millionaire New York heiress Huguette Clark. Read the beautiful story of a patient who was taken care of by our kababayan like the daughter Huguette never had.

Definitely “hulog ng langit” windfall blessing, a perfect plot for Pinoy teleserye but they happened in real life. In the 90s, I heard about a Pinoy couple who inherited a home and a lot of cash from their behind-the-scenes Hollywood celebrity employer who died old and single. Just last year, the whole world was fascinated by the story of a Pinay domestic helper who got more than $4.3 million dollars from the estate of her medical doctor/philanthropist whom she took care of as well as this employer’s late mother.

Just last May, a 104- year old Manhattan heiress Huguette Clark reportedly worth half a billion dollars, passed away and through her will left her 60-year old Filipina private nurse of twenty years an inheritance of a lifetime: $30 million after estate taxes.

Clark left nothing for her blood relatives. “I intentionally make no provision…for any members of my family, whether on my paternal or maternal side, having had minimal contact with them over the years,” she stated in her will. “The persons and institution named herein as beneficiaries of my Estate are the true objects of my bounty.”

In addition to this, Hadassah Peri received in gifts and inheritance, including two million dollars which Peri used to buy prime real estate properties with, including $700,000 home in Brooklyn, New York; a $500,000 house in Jersey Shore, New Jersey, and posh upper east side pads in Manhattan New York, which Peri said her employer wanted her to have so her kids can have somewhere to say in when they were in New York attending college.

To those who know Huguette Clark, such generosity is not news at all. She has been known to be generous to those people who genuinely cared for her, and her $10 million gift to her social secretary preceded her blessings for her long time trusted Filipina nurse.

After all, Huguette grew old alone, having been married but divorced without any children to love and take care of her especially during the last years of her life.

Though she was born to a rich and powerful parents (her father was the former U.S. Senator and industrialist William Clark) who owned a 121-room mansion in Fifth Avenue among other prime real estate properties; a family that walked along side the Astors, Guggenheims, the Vanderbilts of New York, Huguette chose to avert the limelight and live a quiet solitary life until the day she died. It was our kababayan Hadassah Peri, an immigrant registered nurse from the Philippines who stayed with her 24/7 everyday in the last twenty years of her life, and took took care of her like a daughter she never had.

This beautiful story, however was marred with suspicion, as Peri’s name was embroiled in a legal battle that investigated Huegette Clark’s attorney Wallace Bock. MSNBC’s investigative report stated that Clark also gave lavish gifts to her Bock’s family, which included a dollhouse the attorney’s grandchild worth $10,000 and a $1.5 million security system after 9/11, for the settlement in Israel where the attorney’s daughters and grandchildren live.

Whistleblower was Bock’s paralegal Cynthia Garcia who worked for his law firm for two years. Garcia told msnbc.com that Clark's attorney and accountant tried repeatedly to persuade Clark to sign a will, drafted a will that would have left money to the attorney, and joked about and cursed their client behind her back when she would not sign a will.

In 2010, Clark’s grand-half-nephew and two grand-half-nieces, Ian Devine, Carla Hall Friedman and Karine McCall, requested the courts to appoint an independent guardian to manage Clark's affairs but such request was turned down.

Investigations on allegations that Clark might have been a victim of elder abuse or fraud was ongoing at the time of her death. But our kababayan Hadassah Peri’s lawyer John Reiner said the gifts to Peri were tokens of Huguette Clark’s appreciation for spending long hours at the hospital as Clark’s private nurse for twenty years. The will of Clark stipulated, " Ms. Peri spent more time with Mrs. Clark over the last two decades than anyone and earned the title of “loyal friend and companion.”

When we hear these amazing stories, let us be reminded how despite news about how some kababayans are charged for abusing or even raping their elderly wards, or how some Pinay housekeepers were turned down because they are Filipinos, there are thousands more Filipinos providing service as professional nurses, or housekeepers, or domestic helpers who are so loved by their employers because their brand of compassionate care we Filipinos give to our family.

These kababayans really treat their patients or wards like their own. I have talked to many of them who say when they take care of their elderly patient, they see in them their lolos or lolas or tatays or nanays whom they miss so much as they live or have died in the Philippines. It was also an act of channeling these love for their family back home to these patients, wards and families who they now regard as their family away from the Motherland.

Let us continue to be proud of these kababayans. In their own humble way, they are reflecting who we are as human beings to the world.

06/16/2011

We are supposed to be talking more about important national issues, like the economy and joblessness. Yet the general public seems to be obsessed more on following the saga of disgraced New York Congressman Anthony Weiner: from the time he was implicated in a sexting scandal involving several women, to the succession of lies he crafted to cover up his indiscretion, and finally, to stepping down -- after mounting pressure from his colleagues in the Democratic Party.

Lewd pictures of Weiner spread like wildfire in social media. News organizations have also been closely following the story 24/7, with TV talk show hosts using Weiner's case as the subject of their jokes.

Surely, there are important political issues associated with the scandal, especially since Weiner was the frontrunner in a possible bid to become New York City’s mayor in 2013. Questions also arise on who will replace him in Congress even as Brooklyn and Queens' future also hangs in the balance with the re-districting in New York for the next elections.

Then, of course, there are questions about the ethical and moral implications of a congressman being embroiled in a sex scandal -- it makes him an unfit role model to his constituents. The proverbial question of whether politicians with lapses in judgement in their personal life like Weiner can still be an effective leader has also become a hot topic for debate.

After all, Weiner is not the first US politician to become involved in a sex scandal. Former US President Bill Clinton almost got impeached after reports about his oral sex with White House intern Monica Lewinski in the oval office surfaced; former US Senator and Presidential Candidate John Edwards fathered a child with videographer Riel Hunter, while his wife was battling cancer.

Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to having an affair with his housekeeper while he was still married to Maria Shriver, and consequentially, fathered a son from the extra-marital relationship; former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer had an affair with a hooker; and Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford left his wife of 20 years to be with his “soulmate” -- a single mom from Argentina.

The list could go on and on.

Some of of them were able to surpass the consequences of their actions, like Pres. Bill Clinton. Others weren't too lucky and were forced to resign.

However, it seems to be a different scenario when it comes to politicians in the Philippines. There appears to be a consensus among kababayans from all walks of life: No Pinoy politician embroiled in a sex scandal would ever volunteer to resign.

Some say that Pinoys are kings of denials and cover-ups. There are also public officials who are audacious enough not to bother covering up for their sexual indiscretions. On the contrary, some even perceive that their extra-marital adventures are conquests -- to be displayed like badges of honor in a macho, double standard society like the Philippines. Politicos have still been popular, emulated, admired, and elected into office despite their philandering because of the forgiving and fanatic nature of the Philippine electorate.

Going back to Weiner's case as a much-talked about issue, perhaps this seemingly obsessive public curiosity can be attributed to the novelty of the power of technology, as graphically and virally illustrated in this highly-celebrated case. Secondly, many people probably see a bit of themselves in Weiner, with the way they utilize social networking sites. And of course, there is that human inclination -- an insatiable appetite for juicy stories about public figures.

There is also the inclination to judge: "What were they thinking?” Why would powerful, intelligent and achieving men risk their jobs, reputations, marriages and families for sexual liaisons?

Experts explain these from different perspectives. Some say it could be due to testosterone -- a male hormone which is produced in higher amounts by powerful men. This is believed to drive them to engage in risky behavior and enhances their sense of power and omnipotence.

Others say that most powerful men have narcissistic personality disorder. The narcissist is described as being excessively pre-occupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. Their position of authority and popularity further reinforce the “I, me, myself” mindset. This sense of entitlement gives them the delusion that they are above everybody else, including the law.

Many believe that scandals involving politicians reflect the deteriorating moral values among the electorate. After all, people elect these leaders to power. Their values must somehow resonate with the constituents who vote for them.

Since this Weiner scandal surfaced, visitors to the US Congress have been having their pictures taken by Congressman Weiner’s office as though it is a tourist attraction. Weiner dolls have been created and sold. A downfall-turned-circus indeed!

Let us be mindful that scandals like this are in fact sad and unfortunate stories that are not to be celebrated nor diminished to trivial laughing matter. Regardless of their positions of power, these disgraced people are still people like us who have spouses, children, staff and constituents who feel betrayed and destroyed by these acts of human frailty. Some of them and the people they love even end up suffering from depression and taking their own lives. And like you and me, these people and their families hope to be able to get up and rebuild their lives after they fell.

We, from the outside looking in, can only hope that we all learn from their mistakes vicariously.

06/06/2011

When a person engages in online flirtations and electronic sexual relations with a man or a woman who is not his/her spouse on facebook, twitter, via text or email, is this person in fact cheating on his/her husband or wife? Filipinos are among the highest users of facebook, twitter, text and other social media. This should serve as a wake up call.

For days, New York Congressman Anthony Weiner repeatedly and vehemently denied reports that he sent lewd photos of himself via Twitter to a college student in Seattle. On Monday, at a news conference, Weiner reversed his statement and finally admitted to engaging in inappropriate electronic relationships with six women for the past six years --exchanging sexually charged messages and photos via Twitter, Facebook, chat, text and email.

We do not know if it was the call of conscience, the nudging from former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, or the impending release of an interview with the woman from the 26-year-old single mother from Texas who gave ABC News photos, emails, Facebook messages and cell phone call logs which document their sexually-charged electronic relationship.

Weiner apologized and took responsibility for his bad decisions. He was emotional, saying how much he has hurt his wife.

Rep. Weiner said he is not resigning from his post, explaining that he doesn't believe he violated any laws related to his position, and that he has never had sexual relations outside of his marriage. While he claimed this as a personal failure, ethical and legal investigations may follow to determine if he used resources of his congressional office and if he did all of these inappropriate action during work hours.

Representative Weiner said he thought this was just a “frivolous exchange” that would not hurt anyone. He found out that it was a big mistake.

While this scandal involving Congressman Weiner had been on the spotlight because of the fact he is a public figure, the quagmire he has dug himself in, is exactly where many people--both men and women--have found themselves in, during this age of social media.

While finding long-lost friends and family through these online social networking sites proves exciting, and while many singles consider them as a wonderful platform to meet prospective partners of their choice-- the intimacy, immediacy and pervasiveness of the social media have made them a fertile ground even for illicit affairs to grow.

Many embroiled in this mess started out thinking that they were only using the social media to make friends or renew old ties. Some engage in online interaction to kill boredom, be entertained and feel better about themselves, especially during this depressing economic recession when many are jobless and have a lot of time to spare. Others are just out there looking for a sense of “connection” which they probably couldn’t find in real life, or are just bored with the ones they already have.

Facebook allows people to search and find guys and gals they are interested in and take a peek into their private lives, through online photo albums, videos, status updates. Twitter enables people to follow others and be privy to what they do, what they are thinking of and how they feel about things -- almost in real time.

This kind of connection can now be done unabashedly in the privacy of one’s computer or smartphone, opening doors of temptation to desire more (virtually at first), until these desires become uncontrollable addiction. People start out being “friends” and then move up a notch, sharing intimate details about each other’s personal lives, then moving up to flirtations.

The mind is quick to rationalize there is nothing wrong with all these online virtual flirtations and online sexual relations anyway, as they are not really consummated in the flesh.

Photo credit: Christjames

For those who are already in a committed relationship, wouldn’t these online sexual relations be tantamount to cheating on your husband or wife just the same?

Worse, some of these old flames, new friendships and flirtations go beyond the virtual world. They meet up and succumb to the stronger lure of temptation. They end up getting entangled in more problems and complications that they could handle nor justify.

According to a recent survey that was conducted by the American Academy of matrimonial lawyers, Facebook and other social networking sites like MySpace, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. were cited in one of the five divorces in the United States. Around 80% divorce attorneys have claimed that “social networking sites are forcing people to involve in extramarital relationships that lead to divorce.”

Social media, despite its pervasiveness and popularity, has become a new medium of human interaction which people are still grappling with. We have yet to fully discover its power and pitfalls in a way that it can affect our personal lives and society.

May the sad story of Congressman Wiener and thousands of others make us realize how important it is for us to be prudent and responsible in using social media. Nothing can be kept secret forever, especially not in this age when Wikileaks can hack even governments’ highly classified documents. Let us always remember that every action--virtual or real--has effects and consequences.

And finally this issue reminds us once more about the importance of one virtue that has seemed to be forgotten in these modern times --- integrity: “doing the right thing even when no one is watching".