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doublelongdaddy

I have been really tired lately and miserable. I mean I don't feel depressed per-se but I feel kind I am seeing many of the signs of depression. I think I just go through periods where I get sick of the medication I take and my limitations. I also feel scared because when I start to feel this way the thought of drinking or using drugs always becomes so tempting. The medication I take helps me so much but it makes me feel disconnected and apathetic. The most frustrating thing is I know if I get drunk or high I can get out of this rut and I would not have to take my medications but this is temporary and eventually I get into a huge mess with the drugs and alcohol. It's kind of a catch 22. I am so happy when I am high but it ultimately makes my condition worse but the medication I am on right now sometimes makes me feel like I am so limited. I know I will get through this but I have to tell on myself to get through it safe. I mean if I just keep these feeling bottled up I know I will end up fucking up. I suffer from extreme guilt too because I sometimes feel like I could be a better mate to Jen or a better father to my son. I mean I can stand back and look at what I accomplished over the past 4 years (the time I have been clean of drugs and alcohol) and see how far I have came but then there is always that voice in the back of my head that tells me a drink will make everything better. I know it wont, I know what it leads to but still I feel tempted.

Just blowing off steam, rating myself out and trying to be positive, Sorry for dumping.

Active member

Man just try to stay focused on all of the good things going on in your life, like Jen and your son! Look at what you are doing to help people out with there insecuritys. You got this free fourm that you openly particapate in all the time unselfishly giving advice to all without asking for shit. Do your best to put those what ifs behind you. Don't worry about yesterday just stay focused on today, and what you can do for your friends, girl and son to put a smile on there face. When I fell like you are feeling I like to take some time to myself to recollect my thoughts and refocus on the important things in my life. Sometimes the best motovation is just to put yourself out there and begin your task, once you get going everything becomes easier. The longer you wait and think about it the worse the sitiuation becomes, so just get off your ass and do the things you think will help you become a better mate and father. You already know what would make things better I can tell by the way you presented this post. So just begin with the action, everyting WILL get easier from there. Hope this helps DLD!

Member

My mother has something known as "seasonal depression" and I think I have it to. Basically, in the cold winter months there is less sunlight and if you don't get enough of it on a day to day basis the world around you starts to become dark in both a figurative and literal sense.

So it is very important to get sunlight even if that means freezing your ass off in the winter months. In fact, the Scandinavian countries have some of the highest suicide rates in the world and it is theorized that seasonal depression is part of it as that area of the world gets a lot less sunlight than say people in Hawaii and when it gets cold, people don't go out much to get the sunlight available to them in the first place.

Secondly, excercise will cure any depression temporarily because it takes your mind off of "thinking about nothing", and also more blood to the brain with better circulation will make you feel invigorated and alive. When I have been out of shape in the past, the difference between how I feel is night and day. This has nothing to do with whether you are fat or not, but just your general cardiovascular health.

Last but not least, I practice cold water therapy by only taking freezing showers and freezing baths (freezing baths will help you lose fat as well). I also keep my apartment just warm enough for the pipes not to freeze in the winter unless someone is going to come over then I will turn up the heat. I don't advocate living this exact lifestyle, but it is amazing what a cold shower will do to refresh you and get you out of a rut. In fact, when I feel like I am in a rut I will just jump in the shower , turn on the ice water , and I feel great again. But even if you are not into extended cold water showers, just take a warm shower and then for the last minute or so, douse your entire body with cold water and see what happens

I try this and I end up feeling guilty that I am not doing enough. I mean I really want to do more but it feels so fake when I feel like this. Last night my son was being his charming 10 year old self and I was unable to even smile. That makes me feel so guilty. I don't know why I get like this but it makes me feel so guilty. I layed awake least night really emotionally beating myself up.

Originally posted by crazyed27 Look at what you are doing to help people out with there insecuritys. You got this free fourm that you openly particapate in all the time unselfishly giving advice to all without asking for shit.

I feel guilty here too because I know I could do more but again I feel miserable and I do not want to be fake. Really, my only friends are here as I am agoraphobic and when I get into a rut like this I can't afford to separate myself from you guys but I do. It is really frustrating.

Originally posted by crazyed27 When I fell like you are feeling I like to take some time to myself to recollect my thoughts and refocus on the important things in my life.

Your so right and I have to get over feeling that it is fake to get up and take the steps I need to feel better. I know it will help but in some strange way I want to wallow in my bad feelings.

Originally posted by crazyed27 The longer you wait and think about it the worse the sitiuation becomes, so just get off your ass and do the things you think will help you become a better mate and father.

Your right. Last week I got to the point where I was really thinking about using but for some miraculous reason I got through it and felt better.

Originally posted by MCTFB So it is very important to get sunlight even if that means freezing your ass off in the winter months. In fact, the Scandinavian countries have some of the highest suicide rates in the world and it is theorized that seasonal depression is part of it as that area of the world gets a lot less sunlight than say people in Hawaii and when it gets cold, people don't go out much to get the sunlight available to them in the first place.

I wish I could do this but I am agoraphobic and going outside is very difficult for me. My Mom always says the same thing about sunshine but I have this thing that keeps me from doing it. The really difficult thing is I know if I get drunk or high I could easily do these things.

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Super Moderator

DLD, let me tell you we all get there, some of us deeper than others. I want you to know that much of this is because we are what we are. The people who don't care about others and let things go and fly off their back don't face what we face. I am like you and while I don't have some of the same things, I have things happen to me that are similiar. Here is the scoop: Because we care, we need to be cared for. It is not a build up but we need to be needed and wanted. Then we perform and work our selves sili and then we have a down time. Your problem with MOS is you work yourself to death, don't rest, don't eat right and then you hit a low. Let me tell you right now you are one of the most loved guys on the internet. You have helped some of us more than we can ever tell you and your encouragment is awesome. So, from German Stallion, I am just one of the many who is indebted to you more than I can tell. If I was near by I would come in and give you a big hug, love on you and let you know how much I care. This will have to do for now. Don't let the enemy get control, just be assured that we do care and MOS is great because of your dedication. YOu also have a lot of guys working with you that make this forum what it is and you help thousands of guys. Most of us don't take time enough to tell others who help us how much we appreciate them. You are loved and very much appreciated. So, go eat an egg sandwich, drink a glass of milk, and get back to work! SMILE GS

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I think GS has just about said it all. I can't think of an additional word to add. Take care of yourself -- you are the only one who can really do that! Continue to use the great support systems you have here, and at home. You'll come out on top. I just know it. All the best.

Its a marathon, not a sprint!

DLD, you are the light, the tunnel, the damn inspiration for ALOT of men. You are the ONLY and I mean the ONLY fucking reason I am still online, cos theirs so many wankers in the online world who treat ya like garbage, if I aint of met you I would have quit that PP site and not gone to another online Penis Enlargement site.

When I see your 12 inch cock It makes me stick at this, I know its possible and it works BEACUSE OF YOU god damn it.

You are a RARE example of a nice kind decent man, damn I wish their were MORE around instead of the macho man types.

Always sparing time for his members , free or paid....HOW MANY WOULD DO THAT????? You are a perfectionist who loves his work, very proud of it, your site from what I have seen is VERY pro'' I would and will buy into a membership when my credit is sorted.

I can relate to ya problems, REALLY I can. The damn drink and drugs , holy shit how long have ya got for me to tell ya my tale.

I DO NOT drink anymore. Its the DEVILS drink. man its caused me MORE heartache than I can remember. SURE it helps, its GREAT for that temp fix, but the problems will be their when it wares off. Its bad for the health and makes things worse.

I have been invloved in fights when drunk, not causing them but retaliating to scum when I wouldnt in a normal state. I get snappy and cant think proper......yes the good things are it makes you forget and feel like king, but the disadvantages OUTWAY the postives by far.

Look on the web....PLEASE DO THIS......LOOK ON THE WEB for George Best.

He was THE BEST football [soccer in USA] EVER in the 60's. Played for Man Utd, he was GREAT. Comes from Northern Ireland. Yet he was a BIG BIG alcholic, he still is to this day. Hes in his 50's, hes had a liver transplant and told another drink could kill him, yet he still drinks. He WASTED and threw away his CAREER thru the devils brew, that guy was awesome......ANY UK guys here will back me up. The guy has been in and out of the news, fights bashing women up....damn I feel sorry for the guy. He ended up drinking cos he couldnt cope with the spotlight, the fame, hes no addicted.....he will NEVER stop. He has a STUNNING wife half his age, she has just left him cos he smacked her one on Xmas day.

My point of mentioning best is he was also a GREAT man, he was dedicated and very into his work....the best in the field...LIKE YOU....but he turned to drink it ruined him so PLEASE STAY THE FUCK AWAY. Yyou must grit ya teeth and think about the BAD THINGS it would bring, and like I say theirs so many. Plus no one wants to know a drunk, George Best is a laughing stock in the UK, known as the Piss-head, not summut I would wonna be remembered for when I die.

As for drugs, they are the same as the drink but worse. I have been their, not took many at all - I resisted alot of the time but I hung around with drug dealers in my younger days cos Ii thought I was the BIG BAD MUTHA FUCKA OF THE BLOCK. It was a waste of time and energy , all that drugs brought on was misery to who uses them. They are HARD to get of, and lead to more STRONGER and hence more LETHAL drugs. I have seen what drug dealers do ta guys who dont pay up....It aint nice, the guys family are marked and killed one by one.

drugs is the same as booze but its more of a undeground world being led too.......the SHIT ya messing with, the guys who deal it want shooting and burying in horse shit.

My point for bringing this up is simply if you get into drugs it will bring MORE trouble, you'll get a reputation...and if ya dont pay ya fucked....who want that? plus they are worse than drink. STAY AWAY FROM ALL DRUGS, including the weed....it aint big, its WEAK......only weak people use these drugs, YOU AINT WEAK DLD.

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I can't really offer much to help with the anxiety and depresssion cos I am in the same boat. But you have done SO MUCH. You are known WORLD-WIDE on the web, guys go weak when they hear the name cos of the reputation you have built.......this forums is the best, its a monument to the man you are.....DEDICATION and PRO'NESS'. DLD you can get thru'' the depression........I will....I am gunna get the fuck thru myn and join the Military as a Police Officer in the future, set ya self goals man......work to them....you of all men can do it. NO ONE has the dedication like you to Penis Enlargement 7 days on for year after year.....this is NUTHING....you have done the un-heard off....made ya penis X2 its size, ya a fucking legend.......use this DEDICATION and DETERMINATION to get thru'' this shitty rut. I am going to use Hypnosis soon for my depression....I would advise it for you.

I am also similer to you....most of my freinds are online...the so called freind in real life abandon me as they think I am INSANE. I say FUCK YOU...I am more a man than you punk. Dont feel as tho' ya missing much in the EVERYDAY world....YA AINT, most countries its shit, full of crime, hastle, bad .... VERY bad manners, ignorance I can go on and on....ya better of with your stunning wife and son.....they are YOUR priority, you have it all to live for.....your wife is AMAZING, simply AMAZING, her body/looks and she seems a nice person too. Also your son .... you have a piece of you living on in him....teach him your good ways, another good guy in this world we so desperatly need.

I would also advise you take more rest and eat at proper times [dunno if you do]. You are always here, I like that I aint saying go away - but you must rest, you WILL NOT loose any gains, look at me.....JUST LOOK AT ME IF YA THINK GAINS WILL GO......I rest, rest and rest yet I grow and grow, so dont be scared to have a nights rest. Eat at good times too, dont skip meals....this EFFECTS the mind chemisty ALOT and I mean ALOT.....I never knew how bad until I went to my docs'' and discussed it, so make sure you eat proper.

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Thats about it man , lecture over I hope you read and take heed of my advice , I may be young but I have seen and fealt alot all ready. I only want whats best for you, and think positive, you will get better DLD.......we are here online always for you.....we are the extension to your family....never be afraid to ask me for anything man, I am always here when ya need me. If I lived in the USA area I would phone you, but I am in the UK and the bill would be >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> :blahblah: so sorry dude.

I am sure you will be fine, ya in good hands here man, never a burden or load for any of us...never feel that. Another final thing......music, listen to soothing music now and than, like classic or something that relaxes you or soothes you...I like that track by Black ''wonderful life'' and alot of Elton John stuff, that relaxes me and keeps me focused. Yoga and Hypnosis [self[ will work wonders......hang in their...I am with you all the way bro.

I have gone on quite abit, but is cos I care.....you have earned a place in my heart man.....you have my FULL respect and I would try and do anything for you man. So try not to goto sleep why reading 'dis''

doublelongdaddy

Red, You have always been right by my side and you know how much I love you. We are so much alike and I really admire how you come to the group for help and I'm so happy I did. Your so right about the drink fixing everything for now but your also right how it will ruin me later. I think knowing that it will kill me is the reason I stay away but damn when I feel shitty I crave it so bad.

I feel so stuck sometimes. I mean I have to take medication to deal with my OCD. The medication makes me feel like a drone and I hate that. When I am not on meds I am a complete mess. Then I know the drinking will cure it all, if only for the moment, but it still haunts me. It just so damned if I do, damned if I don't. You see when I drink or drug I do not have these stupid OCD problems but in the end I really fuck things up. I get so jealous of normal people who can go out into the world without all these sili problems.

Member

in regards to the lack of sunlight causing depression, I used a light bulb called Chromalux, which is supposed to mimic sunlights health giving properties, it's mad especially for winter months when people get depressed being inside to much. You just use it in place of a regular bulb. I got mine from the vitaminshoppe, i think they deliver I believe the web add is vitaminshoppe.com or just search for chromalux bulbs, I think it cost like 5 or 6 bucks. That might help a little in that aspect

Its a marathon, not a sprint!

Member

Agree on the bulb to help mimic the effects of the sun. There are 3 glands directly behind the eye which control a lot of the hormonal and chemical balances in the body. For these to work properly you need at least 2 hours of sunlight a day. Not necessarily direct sunlight it can be filtered like sitting under a tree and reading. AT least try sitting by a window and relaxing or reading .

At work we have several building that are several acrea big. I am responsible for the bldg upkeep and remodeling projects. If I am cooped up inside for a few days and can't get outside it has a bad effect on me. I get confused , irritable , depressed , and the list goes on.

You and I are of kindred spirits as we share some of the same problems. As I keep telling myself with all the stuff going on here right now... THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!!

I feel a little better. I am not obsessing so much about getting high which is a good sign. I guess I just feel so down sometimes that nothing really seems worth it and when I start feeling that way I want to just get drunk or high to avoid everything.

I feel so guilty sometimes that I start becoming paranoid that everyone around me is getting sick of my shit. I have been putting out a better effort to spend quality time with my Son and JEN but sometimes I think I am just doing it so I don't feel guilty???? I really hate my OCD sometimes especially when it jumps into this "trying to be overly honest" mode. When I get this way I feel bad about every little thing. I went to church yesterday and when I was saying my prayers I tried to remember everybody in my life that needs help and pray for them. I try to go through all my members hear and think about who needs what and pray for them...but I always get back to my computer and then remember someone I forgot and then BOOM I feel terrible again.

Its a marathon, not a sprint!

good ya feeling better, me too as it happens aswell. Dont feel guilty about spending time with jen and ya son cos you feel the condition is forcing you .... think postive....well we are all NORMAL but you know what I mean, think like you are a normal person [normal not meaning you aint, but the common man - catch my drift?] with is wide and kid. .... its normal and you shouldnt feel the condition is doing this to you, nor it has too.

I cant offer as much advise on the OCD you have , simply becoz I aint had it .... but I reckon if you do Yoga or some sort of visualisation methods in which you tell ya self your NORMAL and feel normal than you may very well feel better??? catch me?

Society has done this to us, it makes us feel worse IMHO ... By branding us NOT NORMAL.....I say FUCK THAT ......Whats normal?????? I cant think whats notmal tobe honest....we would be going of some goody goody's guide to being normal...well they can wank off.

You are NORMAL .... I am too, we are as we are ..... our own man, special in our own ways .... but we have to program ourselves to think in that society manner that we are NORMAL to make ourselves accpeted and feel better.

Try some mental hypnosis, yoga , spirtualisation methods and see how that goes.

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The church is good, that is hope and gives us strength.

I know its a part of the Italian way of life, and you have Italian in you. On that note, may I ask ... which part of Iitaly is it your family/you came from?

Have you been their?

T

TheExecutioner

Guest

Wow these recent threads about depression have really been quite interesting. You see, i am in a way a silent suferer of depression in which i mean around 2 people notice i get like it. It is kind of like i go through these weird depressive states during the day that may occur out of random, or when i get stressed out about remembering something or when i feel like a waste, like im not doing anything with myself. It is Extremely hard to explain, but it is seriously doing me in at times. I do wonder about its relation with Penis Enlargement aswell, as when i notice i dont gain after all my work i put it in, it only seems to worsen my depressive moods. It does ruin my social life aswell as sometimes i feel totally unmotivated attidues to seeing my friends or i feel like i cant go out becuase of the depressive mood im in thinking theres far to much important things to think about, like i cant go out and have a good time becuase i have all this shit over my head, so the results are i dont see my mates etc and social life fucks up, then next thing i might realise is im in a pub drinking on my own (rare) but its fucking bad. Anti-Depressants etc dont really appeal to me but i sure as hell need some help as it is damaging. At the time of posting this im feeling like all of the above this depressed way and has caused a writing block.