Conversations During Potty Training

You’d be surprised how “dirty” conversations become when you are potty training your toddler. Here are a few examples.

You’d be surprised how “dirty” conversations become when you are potty training your toddler.

We started potty training our son in October, and since we began, a very high percentage of our conversations have revolved around his bowel movements.

And I’m not just talking about asking if he needs to go, either. We have had conversations that I never thought I would have, both in the bathroom and outside of it. We talk about the colors of his poopies (don’t give your potty-training child Froot Loops), the size of his poopies (“That was a BIG poopie!!”), and how many poopies he has (“I had three poopies! That’s a lot!”). It’s gross, but also kind of hilarious.

Here are a few more examples to give you a clearer picture of what I mean:

Toddler: Where do dogs go poopie?

Me: Outside. They go in the grass.

Toddler: I’m a puppy! I go in the grass, too!

Me: No, you are a boy. You go poopie in the potty.

Toddler: No! I want to go poopie in the grass!

As you can imagine, this resulted in a tantrum because I wouldn’t let my two-year-old poop in the grass.

Toddler: (sitting on the potty) My poopie isn’t ready to come out yet.

Me: Okay, well we can wait until you’re ready to push it out.

Toddler: (several seconds pass) My poopie is ready to come out!

I think I may be at fault for this one for telling him we have to wait until we are ready to go.

Toddler: My poopie is coming! (pushes)

Me: Good! Keep pushing it out!

Toddler: It’s almost here! (pushes again)

Me: Yay!

Toddler: It dropped!!

Thanks for the status update, little man. I have a great mental picture now.

Me: (comes into the room chewing some gum) Hey bud!

Toddler: Is that candy? Because you went potty?

Me: You bet it is.

I’m so good at going potty in the toilet that I can have candy whenever I want.

Conversations during potty training are kind of inappropriate, and you’d be surprised by what comes out of your toddler’s mouth. Make sure you write some of them down, because they’ll make great stories when they have their own kids. I’m hoping that now that he’s officially potty trained, we can start talking more about regular things and less about the shape of his bowel movements. But I doubt that will happen.