"Inspiring Apologies From Today's World Wide Web"

Sorry I haven’t posted for the last three weeks. I’m working on my first novel and it’s coming together quicker than I thought it would, which is great. I’m halfway through, writing a chapter a week and loving how the rough draft is coming. In fact here’s a picture of the chapters I’ve completed.

A group of chapters I’ve written from my first book.

To keep this post short, I’m going to try to write at least one blog post a week until I’m done writing the rough draft. These will be based around the challenges of writing and getting published. I’ll also be continuing on my book reviews, slowly at first because between working 8 hours and writing for 5 hours at night there’s not that much time for reading right now and of course writing about my journey to get my masters degree.

I just wanted to thank everyone for reading my blog, it’s become a journey and the journey’s coming faster than I expected which is both scaring me but also way too much fun as well.

I didn’t write an update about our meeting last Thursday night with the priest because I had to sort out my feelings first.

Overall, it went really really well. He’s nice and he’s funny. None of his questions were too personal, and he’s very flexible – for instance, Mr. Sloth isn’t officially a parishioner anywhere. He was registered at his family’s church in another diocese, but that was, oh, about six years ago. And even though he’s gone to Mass in the past six years, he never went through the paperwork to join a church. Apparently that can be kind of a problem, but the good Father just marked him down as a parishioner at his own church and told him to attend at least once between now and the wedding. Problem solved!

But the meeting did cost us. Our priest suggested we all go out to dinner so he could get to know us better, which sounded great. And we asked him to choose the place (despite looking forward to La Tavola). He picked a great seafood restaurant in Pittsburgh that is a little pricey, but no big deal. At this point, I knew we were probably footing the bill. He is filling out a lot of paperwork for us, he let us know about a much less expensive pre-cana program that will save us around $200, and he’s a priest – what, we’re going to let him pay? I don’t think so. Catholic guilt :)

Anyway, the Irish-are-heavy-drinkers stereotype is so very very true. Priests are no exception. This particular man fired back two premium cocktails in about ten minutes. Yikes. Then he chose a nice glass of wine to go with his appetizer, and picked a great salmon dish as well. I don’t mean to sound cheap, but c’mon. We are saving for a wedding – is it necessary to order three drinks and an appetizer, in addition to the already expensive entree, when someone else is footing the bill? I would never, ever do that. He offered to pay, which we obviously declined. He did pay the tip, so that helped. But it was quite expensive. I also thought he was a little rude to the waiter, which is something I’m extra sensitive about.

All in all, I do like him. I’m happy he’ll say our wedding Mass. As I mentioned before, he’s funny and tells good stories. But it wasn’t the “dream meeting” I’d anticipated. I guess that’s a good lesson for the wedding – just let things be and let it go (and plan to spend more than you think you should.) So I wasn’t sure how to approach this post, but honesty is the best policy. Anyone else a little thrown off by something while wedding planning?

September…where do I begin? Sorry I haven’t posted in a while but I really wanted this post to be the one where I said I made it into profit for this month, read on to find out. This month I went on a 25 buy in downswing which saw me go from being $1k up to $4k down very quickly. I hit stop loss three days in a row. Things were awful and I felt really down for a few days. At one point I remember saying ‘I have had enough of this, I might quit poker and go get a job’. I believe it was a combination of things that contributed to this. I wasn’t going to the gym for one and wasn’t eating great, also I wasn’t doing any work on my poker game. Despite these factors, it’s a fact that I did run VERY bad. I had set over set twice and managed to see both these hands get one outed by quads twice in the space of a few days, it was so gross! Check this out: http://www.pokerhand.org/?5690947. That was just the tip of the iceberg, I really couldn’t win anything. I did tilt off a few stacks, which is really stupid but I was so frustrated. I had been running so good all year and I wasn’t used to this, I had taken run good for granted.

I spoke to Mentor BH and he suggested I take a week off playing, which I did and I tried to relax. I came back and posted a few wins but it still seemed to be one step forward two steps back for me. I made some key lifestyle changes. I started going to the gym with the Muscle Shark (Jez) every day, he is an absolute legend and number one trainer. Going to the gym made me feel great and made me much more positive at the tables. It’s also a great chance to get out and socialise mid week because playing poker online can be quiet anti social. It’s not like a job where you meet people every day and have office banter and anyone that knows me will tell you that I am naturally a very social person. I covered my poker account balance during sessions so I could focus more on playing well and making the correct decisions instead of focusing on whether I was winning or stuck in the hole. I spent time with friends and tried relaxing in between sessions. I also watched some vids on deucescracked.com thanks to legend White Knight and they really helped me start thinking like a winning poker player again. I began constantly thinking about opponents hand ranges and my plan for each hand.

The result of all this was a slow and steady grind back. I still ran bad and couldn’t seem to hold when I needed to but I did start to get a few breaks. Monday night of this week I played 6 a-side football for team Fatside and we won 5-1, it was an awesome team performance. I felt great, came home, had a protein shake and a banana and loaded up some tables. I played the best poker I have ever played in my life. Mondays session was one of the biggest turning points in my poker career. Mentor BH talked about me needing the hunger to play and succeed and it was there more than ever. I played so aggressively and felt so confident. Even when I suffered beats I carried on relentlessly three betting people and raising and dominating. I felt so in control of every hand. That session made me want to become as good a poker player as I can now. The hunger is there. Finally, I played a winning eight hour session last night and I made it into profit for September, it felt amazing and was worth all the hard work I have put in this month.

Final result for September is 71 hours played (37521 hands) and $146 profit. I ran $5000 under EV (expected value) this month at $1/$2 and I mixed in some $0.50/$1. This come back meant a lot to me as I have never had a losing month since starting to play full time in Dec 2009 and despite this being pretty much break even, it’s still a win and I should get a sweet bonus this month too!

Here is my graph for September showing you my results with EV (green is my actual profit for month and red is EV.

I want to thank all my friends that have put up with me whinging on msn this month and for helping me with advice and support. You know who you are and I really appreciate it :-)

I want to list some of the things I have learned this month that I think everyone, both new to poker and those who have played for years can find useful. Bankroll management, I normally have at least 50 buy ins for the level that I play. I went on a 25 buy in downswing which meant that if I had less online I could have gone broke or would have had to move down. I saw a reg considered one of the best on Pacific playing $0.50/$1 and he said he cashed out his roll and went on a downswing so had to drop down. Therefore bankroll management is key, I wish him the best on his grind back…if it is really him and not someone else using his account ;-) A good healthy lifestyle with exercise, good food and socialising is also important. It will make you feel good and therefore give you a more positive outlook at the tables. Next, never think because you are a winning player that you can just keep on cruising without improving. Without trying to learn you will lose the sharpness and you can fall into bad habits. During my downswing I watched poker legend Martin Badger Boy play a session online. He played great poker and I was like, wow I’m calling with a small pair in that spot and I shouldn’t be. I started realise my own mistakes while he was playing solid winning poker. I realised I have got complacent and my game had got stale. The point is to keep learning and ahead of the game, which is adapting everyday. Stop loss, tilt control and taking breaks are vital. I hit stop loss and ‘felt’ fine the next day but in fact I wasn’t, I just didn’t realise it. When you hit stop loss, take a few days off and relax, don’t tilt. Think that is enough learnt from this month, I should be charging for this, it cost me thousands of dollars online and 71 hours of my life this month to learn this, lol.

Finally, if you have made it this far…congrats to Seb ‘Genius’ Powell on winning the links tourney at the grosvenor for £3k. Also legends Martin and Morgan both final tabled for nice scores. Morgan is a sick heads up (HU) sit n go player on Full Tilt and also a double boozy hero, already been banned from DTD, pokerLAD. Also, I’m going on the record now to say that Seb is not only a great guy but is a genius and an amazing poker player and it’s only a matter of time before he dominates the world online or live in the poker world. You read it here first ;-)

So, now I’m taking the last few days off of playing to relax. Went to see the new film The Town tonight with Nathan ‘PurchaseBOi’ Masters, it was awesome. Seeing family tomorrow and then I will get back on the grind at the start next month. I have fingers crossed for a better month in October, $10k month one time please?

Last of all, I just got a call from the Bagder to inform me that Toby ‘I run so bad I never win anything’ Lewis just won the EPT £1k side event in London for another large sum of cash, around £60k I believe, congrats mate wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Toby is a top lad and he’s winning the world, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy and hope he keeps on going. That’s back to back EPT wins for him, what a sicko. And I thought wining $146 this month was good, FML lol! I almost forgot, a big well done to Chris Brammer, the man they call NigDawg on coming 3rd in Sunday Brawl on Tilt for over $50k and then winning an EPT side turbo last night for £9k. I railed his FT on Tilt and it was a lesson in aggression, wp sir!

Good luck at the tables all and btw you need this song in your life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU.

I think I should’ve been born right after the depression, when families were brought closer and every neighbor was nice to one another. The other day at Taco Bell (while they were doing their $2 dollar meal deal) a friend and I were sitting down and an older fellow came up and offered me his bag of Doritos. Just said he didn’t want them, the taco was enough. The bag was unopened, but for a split second, the both of us were so weirded out by this gesture! He was just an older fellow, maybe the sodium was too high. Who knows? Either way, after I thought about it, why did I even second guess an UNOPENED bag of doritos from an old man who’s just trying to help us out and not waste the food?! Also, where are all the people that do these gestures daily? When people weren’t selfish and helping your neighbor was not a thing of the past. Why did these times fail? Because of a few dishonest people?

Well, I wish I could go back in time. Or at least find a small city that’s full of nice people.

Anyways, sorry I haven’t posted much lately, I’ve been busy and things have been kind of hectic, plus! I have friends now(;

Work is going great, car is running great, friends are amazing. Maybe I’ll have more time to post a more in-depth blog.

Sorry I haven’t posted lately. I’ve been having unbearable muscle pain in my neck and shoulder (thanks in part to a 13 month old who refuses to walk) combined with horrible tension headaches.

I self diagnosed and am also self-medicating……Hubby took the girls for lunch today so I could take a brief nap and also went to CVS to pick up Excedrin Tension, which works but only for 4-6 hours. I’m also taking a prescription I got a couple months back when I had some x-rays done for the neck/shoulder pain. I’m a little concerned though because after further research it turns out that the pill is an anti-depressant and also used to help with bed wetting…..WTF?!?!

Sorry I haven’t posted.. and no I haven’t weighed myself since my last post.. I’ve been just way too busy.

Since i last updated you all, I took on a 3rd job, yes, a 3rd job. Not too bad considering one is just on Saturdays from 11-5 with my mom. But the other 2 are kind of kicking my ass

Mon-Fri 8-5, my normal day job; Mon-Sun 6pm-12am(give or take depends on what time i leave my house) at my buddys tattoo shop as the assistant shop manager. He needed the extra help, I needed the money. To top that all off, Monkey is in pre k and now getting home work assignments and famly projects, so before I go to the tattoo shop we sit down and study and do homework while Fur makes Monkey and Baby Panda dinner. I’m really freakin tired. And forget how I’ve been eating! I don’t even want to talk about it, but last night Fur looked at me wrapped his arms around me… and GRABBED MY DONUT(spare tire, jelly roll, stomach fat, i like donut, its funnier; lol) and then sweetly said “Hunny you are losing weight!” gee thanks there buddy!

I get paid today at the shop, I think idk i’m too tired to even care at this moment. I’m waiting for 5:00 to hit so i can haul ass out of here today, the big boss has been on a rampage since 8:45 this morning and i’, just ready to gtfo!

My dear friends, I have not been able to post, although I am well. I just have a very recatricant human in charge of the computer. Also she got caught out by a computer scam recently. Some people rang her saying they would fix up her computer, which was sending floods of warning messages to their Windows Support On Line Centre in Chatswood. It seemed they were very overloaded with trying to deal with all the error messages sent by her computer and had rung up to try to stop them. They showed her lots of the Window’s Error Messages on her computer and said the ones in RED WERE PARTICULARLY DANGEROUS. AND NOT TO OPEN THEM ON ANY ACCOUNT. Then they said they would help her and all for free!!!! She was pleased to hear this, because my cat food is quite expensive and she can’t afford to waste money. Unfortunately when they asked her to type in her six digit code so they could help her —- she had no code. Can you believe that? They said everyone has a six digit code (except Lynettea). She really felt out of it when they told her that. Everyone else had the code. Well the nice man she was speaking to said he could get her a code for $50, which did not seem all that expensive when she looked at his other plans (up to $350.) So she paid for the code and let them start fixing her computer. After a little while (7 minutes) she noticed that the tech was not there on the chat line anymore, although he said that he would be around forty minutes fixing it all up for her. He also told her that the company would ring her every year and fix her computer for free now she had the lifetime code. So she put the six digit code in the little box again. I was sitting on the lounge watching her do all this and was quite concerned. The lifetime six digit code said it had expired. Then when she tried again the message said the six digit code did not exist. So she rang the bank in the middle of the night and the lady told her she should put a bar on her credit card and search the computer for viruses. Then Lynettea found none of the nice people’s phones at the Windows support on line in Chatswood were answering. Perhaps they had all gone home? She is feeling a bit grumpy about this and especially as she has had to cancel her credit card. Well I let her have a little space to tell you this information. I am sure none of the kitties reading my blog would fall for this trap, but what about your humans? Can they be trusted with the computer? Or the phone?

Hey gang. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I recently had a very, very, very, minor, very, very, very, mild heart attack. I know…it doesn’t matter how many very-verys you put in front of it, it’s still a heart attack. My doctors agree that it was very mild and I am very lucky. I had a blockage in an artery in the posterior section of the heart and any damage is totally fixable and they have every confidence that if I follow their program, my heart will be 100% healed. They went in with a catheter, found the blockage, inserted a stent and that was it.It seems that was the cause of my soreness in my chest. I look at the bright side and think that after 25 years of smoking…It could have been much worse. This is my 43 year old wake-up call (as my Cardiologist put it). I need to start eating betting (Not like a 20 year old college student), lose some weight and start getting some exercise.BTW: The doctors were exstatic that I had quit smoking and assure me that my breathing and lungs are in fine shape. I assured them that this episode just reassures my effort to never take another puff. Now get off the sofa, eat an apple and get going! ‘:D’

Sorry I haven’t posted lately. I’ve been very Busy. My son graduated h.s, went to his college for orientation, also spent some time with my wonderful sis! Miss her already!!

Since I haven’t done much shopping lately and I needed to use up some rrs before they expire, so last night I checked http://www.iheartwags.com/ to see what deals I can get and make back some more rrs!

One thing I’ve always hated are the obligatory “sorry I haven’t posted in a while” posts that every sporadic blog seems to have. This won’t be one of them.

There comes a point in your life where you realize the limits of your talent. God gives talent, but he can also give us the perception to see the limit of that talent. One day, you wake up and realize that limit. It can keep you from frustration and spinning your wheels fruitlessly, but it can also be a very hard thing to accept.

For a very long time, I wanted nothing more than to be a writer. This blog was one of the ways I tried to follow that. But simply put, I’m tired of slamming my head up against the wall and getting nowhere. There’s something to be said for perseverance, but there’s also something to be said for knowing when to pack it in.

I don’t feel that in the long run, I can keep this blog up with the sort of quality I want from it. A lot of that is just realizing the limits of my own talent. Some of it is personal/family-related, but ultimately I’d rather do no blog at all than a poor one. This isn’t spur-of-the-moment, and I’ve taken the time to think it over. But I’m tired of trying to mold my life on a dream that isn’t going to happen. Too much frustration, too much mediocrity, and too much time put into it all. My family deserves more than that, and maybe in the end, I do, too.

I’ll be doing some articles up through Gen Con Indy, in large part because I have a number of obligations I need to meet, including another year of liveblogging Gen Con (I have to think that will continue in some form, somewhere, for a while yet). Once that’s over, I’ll either be stepping aside or fading into the background, possibly as a minor contributor with another blogger taking over day-to-day things. I still plan to be involved in a few online communities, as well as with RPG Circus, so that won’t stop. There may be other projects, but I don’t just don’t know.

We still have a while before the road ends, but I wanted to tell you now. Thanks for reading, and I hope you join me for the rest of the trip, wherever that leads. So many of you have been so kind, I can’t begin to thank you enough for what your words of encouragement have meant. I wish that alone was enough to give you quality content, but at the end of the day, it just isn’t there.

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a while. I have been so busy with school and work. But in my spare time I have been working on my Megan Fox sim. I am pretty happy with her so far. But just a little more tweeking. Any suggestions?!?!?

I don’t even want to get started with oh im so sorry i haven’t posted here blabla. I realized its just a blog and im doing it for my own fun (so if i have time then i will update more etc). Anyway.. i think ill start with saying im in such stress. Its pretty serious, im having terrible pains in my chest, strangest appetites (yesterday I was eating icecream with pepperoni & tuna – that’s seriously wtf??), I don’t have any energy to do stuff (feeling exhausted all the time and just wanting to sleep), I used to be a happy and smiley person – I haven’t felt like that for god knows how long plus the list goes on. Im not writing this to get some sympathy or anything like it, but just talking (writing at moment) helps me feel bit better. Im thinking about going to see a doctor about it, maybe there is something they can do to help me! That’s all im talking about it now (and no I don’t want to talk about the cause of my stress).In a bit happier note, its amazing weather outside (+28 degrees and rising). Tomorrow & day after tomorrow, im having days off (I could use more of those to be honest). Lets hope it will be sunny so I could maybe sunbath & wash my car finally (its been dirty since.. winter, so you could imagine how awful it might look).