This was my second time at Pellone. As a man of habit, I bought the exact same pizza as before, the wonderful Calzone Fritto which comes loaded with fior di latta cheese, tomato, ricotta, salami and black pepper – as a filthy veggie I swapped the salami for mushrooms. So that’s two types of surprisingly powerful cheese squashed into a folded pizza. Maybe God does exist? Okay, let’s not go that far.

I’ve always had a considerable amount of respect for the Italians due to the absolute marvel that is pizza.

From the Italians to the Earl of Sandwich – who, as I learnt from Blackadder the Third and confirmed to be true on Wikipedia, painstakingly designed that other absolute marvel while surely hungover to fuck and sat at a gambling table, yearning for double the stodge to soak up the poison that is last night’s regret – I’ve always admired the simplicity of utter geniuses who just pile shit on other shit and go for it. In this case, that latter shit is dough.

One thing has always given pizza that crusty edge over a sandwich: Melted cheese. I know cheese toasties are a thing but let’s ignore that for a second because, well, I’m not writing about sandwiches.

To be fair, I usually fold my pizza like this anyway, so it’s basically a sarnie.