Remembering Amanda Warf: Family, friends say goodbye

HAMPTON — Even with the support of friends and family, Joe Warf struggled to finish the lullaby he offered in memory of his baby sister at her funeral Wednesday.

Warf, the brother of murder victim Amanda “Amy” Warf, led a group of mourners in reciting the words to “You Are My Sunshine” during a service in Hampton. The song was a favorite of Warf's grandfather.

“You'll never know dear, how much I love you,” he said, his voice growing soft a few moments later as he reached the final words. “I love you Amy, and I will miss you.”

Warf, his mother and his grandmother said a final goodbye Wednesday morning to Amanda Warf, a 36-year-old mother and Seacoast native who was found dead last week. Warf's body was found inside a burning building in Exeter on March 7.

An autopsy determined she died of fatal cuts to her neck. Warf's ex-husband was then arrested on Tuesday and charged with first-degree murder in connection with her death.

Friends and former co-workers filled the Remick & Gendron Funeral Home to pay their respects to Warf's family during an 11 a.m. service Wednesday. The Rev. Maurice D. Lavigne, pastor at St. Theresa Church in Rye Beach, participated in the event. The family was scheduled to travel to a cemetery in North Hampton later in the day to bury Warf's ashes.

Joe Warf, who was three years older than his sister, offered personal memories of their childhood together. He recalled Amanda's smile, and her love of Halloween and costumes.

Amanda had a light that was “undeniable” from the time she was in high school, Warf said. As an underclassman, Amanda was known by some students as “Joe Warf's sister,” but she soon bucked the title and made a name for herself, he said.

“Sometimes in life we're lucky enough to meet someone who is truly exceptional — a person who makes you feel good just by being around them; someone whose smile is so genuine that when you see it, it makes you happy no matter how you feel,” he said. “I was lucky enough to meet one of these rare people on (the day Amanda was born).”

He remembered being thrilled when he learned that Amanda was carrying her child. He recalled that when the boy was born last April, he was en route to the airport, giving him time to stop into the hospital to visit his sister and her newborn baby.

He then spoke directly to his young nephew, vowing to help the 11-month-old boy learn about the life of his deceased mother.

“I know that you didn't get to know Amy for very long,” he said, “but I promise, little buddy, you are going to get to know her very well.”

The ceremony took place about two hours before Aaron Desjardins, Warf's ex-husband, was formally charged in court. He was arraigned on a first-degree murder charge at 1 p.m. He entered no plea, and was ordered held without bail.

Desjardins was arrested near his home in Epping this week. He has steadfastly denied that he had a hand in Warf's death.

Warf was pregnant with the couple's young son when their divorce was finalized in 2012. Warf and Desjardins were married for about seven years, from 2004 until February of last year. They were finalizing a parenting agreement for their son at the time of Warf's death, according to court records.