So, what’s your measuring stick for people? Do they need to be a certain color? Do they need to drive a certain vehicle? Do they need to have a certain type of degree?

I suppose human bias is a fact of being human. It’s in us and there’s no way around it. But like emotions it’s not good or bad, just what we do with it. I’m biased toward positive people and I also know that it’s not always possible to be around them 100% of the time. The discipline I need is life management. Life management teaches me the art of dealing with each situation as it comes my way.

If the people you meet, or have known for some time, have to meet a vague mental checklist, you’re in trouble. Bigotry, arrogance and stunted mental growth are formed out of this approach. Insecurity is the culprit for those using a measuring stick that excludes certain types of people. When we deal with our insecurities, we begin to see people from a different set of lenses.

The best measuring stick is the unconditional one. Unconditional allows you to embrace real diversity and not lose your own identity in the process.

So many principles, so little time. Today, I want to tackle the 90/10 principle (10% is the unexpected good or bad, 90% is what you choose) in relation to our life and career.

For many years I was told by mentors and colleagues that the 90/10 rule was important. In the early years, I didn’t want to have the responsibility for 90% of my life. It seemed so permanent to face the consequences of my choices. And I certainly didn’t like the idea of the 10%. Who wants to be at the mercy of the unexpected?

It was about 10 years ago that I really became conscious of the principle. So much so that it now is a part of my culture. I use the term conscious because unconscious living leads to incongruent values (I say exercise is important, but I never do it) or plain old hypocrisy. No judgment here, but you need to be awake.

Here’s how to embrace the 90/10 rule:

You must embrace because the 90/10 rule embraces you. Like it or not.

When you embrace, your emotional intelligence goes way up. All of sudden you think before you act.

You must tame the beast inside. Call it misplaced ambition, preoccupation with the opinions of others or greed. When you realize that 90% of life is what you choose, you’ll think twice about walking all over people.

You’ll begin to think about your foundation. Is it sand or stone? When the unexpected comes what will keep you anchored?

Embracing the rule will simplify things. It won’t make life easy, but it will make you decide what’s most important in career and life.

You’ll make the breakthrough to realizing that no one/organization can make you happy. Happiness is a choice (there’s that 90% again) and only you can make this one.

Ever created a list of hope? I think everyone has at one time or another. Even if you didn’t write it down, you probably held it in your head. As with every list, there is the potential for losing it.

You don’t want to lose the list of hope.

The importance of hope is an obvious one. Hope is to the human being, what gas or electricity is to a car. You need it to get to where you’re going. Hope is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, a star in a dark night sky. I know you understand this.

Everyone has heard and read the stories of late. The ones of people who couldn’t fend off the despair. If you find yourself in that place reach out for help. My post is not my attempt to solve the issue of suicide or give insights into its roots. I want to start in a place where losing hope can be all too common. The place is where things are somewhat stable to good. Regardless of where you may find yourself, I want to give some encouragement around the list of hope.

I have a list that looks like this:

I have friends and family who value and love me, therefore I have hope

God has expressed his love for me multiple times (circumstances, conversations with loved ones, times of meditation), therefore I have hope

I have built business relationships that go deeper than a transaction, therefore I have hope

I’ve dealt with great difficulties and come out on the other side better, therefore I have hope

I look at nature and see its resilience and order, therefore I have hope

Your list can look like mine or something radically different. The key is creating the list. In the words of the writer:

“All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars.” – Neil Peart

My reasons for having the list of hope is having a document I can go to when I lose hope. The list is something tangible to remind me of what’s important. There are times (reoccurring) when I need to pull this list out to refresh, reframe and keep going.

I gave a talk recently to a group of students at Tech Elevator. Soon I’ll have some footage for you, but this post is about perspective. The kind of perspective found in pouring out into those students in a way that left me in awe. When you look back on what you’ve learned, and what makes you thankful, it leaves you humble. Here’s a conclusion I came to today:

If I achieve nothing else from this point forward, I have learned and been blessed in a way that is beyond what I could have expected.

During the talk with those students, I helped them with a process of looking back for perspective. It was designed to give them reference points for a tough journey ahead. Often, we go into storms with no account of what we can handle. It’s as if we just react to whatever comes our way. Sometimes this works out, sometimes we’re left exposed. Please understand:

Storms are as normal, and frequent, as sun and good times.

Here are some key opportunities you can take away from looking back for perspective:

Looking back for perspective shows you’ve learned some things. This, of course, is dependent on you giving yourself a break and claiming the learning

Looking back for perspective is a strength-building exercise. It builds in you a sense of what you can handle and what you can persevere through. You’ll need this when it’s dark

Looking back for perspective allows you to see other people as they truly are. You might find they’re not as bad or as great as you once thought

Looking back for perspective, if done regularly, helps you take responsibility for your choices.

Looking back for perspective creates a spirit of gratitude, and gratitude will take you to good places