Erectile disfunction... recognise it at all?

VerifiedGold Member

Me and my bf have sex, I love it... but it seems he looses wind from time to time during... not really good for my ego.... cuz it's not like he doesn't get hard but it's like while we're at it he looses stiffness and sometimes it happens when I start to touch him (no specific thouching, just by putting my hand on it...) it bugs the heck out of me and he doesn't even seem to notice... the thing thats bothering me the most is that if he looses wind I dont feel him so much... sometimes not at all and then I start to fake it (which I DO NOT want to do) I love him, and I dont want to discourage him but I need to feel it! especially since everytime he fucks me at full mast I have an anal orgasm... every single time... it would be fucking fantastic if it were like that every time :redface:

VerifiedGold Member

but it would be really awful to say "hey you have this windsock kindof thing going on and its not doing it for me..... go see a doctor"..... do you think by what I've said that one reason is more likely than the other?

Staff MemberModeratorGold Member

Impossible to know........and if you want your relationship to be long lasting it would be a good thing to learn to communicate with each other, especially about things like sex......Here's your opportunity.....for example"Honey, i notice sometimes that you don't stay hard when we have sex. Am I doing something wrong"......that'll open the dialogue in a non accusatory non confrontational manner.....

Gold Member

Well... good advice thus far I would say. The only thing I can offer is this:

COTS - you said that he starts to "lose steam" in the middle of the act, and that he doesn't seem to notice. I seriously doubt he doesn't notice... maybe he's too self conscious/embarrassed by it to bring himself to be ABLE to say anything or make it obvious that he notices. I would imagine that if it's happened more than once, he might just be completely preoccupied with hoping it doesn't happen again, and looses arousal. I mean I would... I can only imagine what a blow to his self esteem it could be just knowing that it's happened, worrying that "he's not man enough" to satisfy you, etc - and who could be completely sexually aroused with thoughts like that floating through their head.

That said, this happens all the time - there's nothing "wrong" with either of you. Talk to him sweetness... you love him, and he loves you. Even if it happens again, it's not the end of the world - right? He needs to know from you that it's not and that there is nothing for him to feel insecure about. At the same time, you need to know that from him - sounds like you might be thinking/wondering/feeling "maybe this is happening because he's not attracted to me/I don't turn him on/something's wrong with me". Be patient, reassure him, and try to figure out a way to talk about it.

If it persists - get him some Viagra/Cialis. It'll get so hard you could break it off - his stud status will be restored and you'll get your brains fucked out.

All of the above is assuming that it's psychological, and that there is not a real physical problem. If he talks to a Doctor about it, the first thing the Doctor will ask to determine if it's a psychological issue or physical will be if he gets erections in his sleep. Does he have morning wood? If he does, he is physically capable of getting hard and chances are he's so worried about keeping it up he looses arousal. It'll work out.

ED is nothing to be ashamed of; most men at athe age of 35-40 usually get it. Go to your family doctor, and tell him whats happening.
He will do some tests on you, and the person who has ED will start getting shots of testosterone.
Doctor will also prescribe viagra etc.
Theres no shame.
bonerdave

as a registered nurse i can tell you there are a myriad of causes of erectile dysfunction, too many to list here. if youre BF is having ED a visit to his doctor could be very beneficial

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I am a Registered Nurse too and I have to agree. The earlier erectile dysfunction is treated, the better. It can happen to men at any age, and can come and go many times throughout a man's lifetime. Open, honest discussions are best. Then go visit the doctor. [maybe he will get a prescription for some viagra, then...hold on to your hat sister!]