When the door bell rang, Michael didn’t have to wake Sabah up. She shot of the bed in a flash and immediately pulled on a pair of sweats, all the while she complained,
“Why did you let me fall asleep! Oh my God, I look a mess!”
Michael propped himself up on his elbows and watched Sabah with a cross between amusement and bewilderment. It was a familiar sight. He’d watch people go a little crazy when they met him. They became frazzled and erratic and Sabah was acting like that now. He opened his mouth to tell her that it was only her sister but then thought better of it. Sabah was fully dressed and running, literally, to the bathroom to brush her teeth when the bell rang again.
“You want me to get that?” Michael offered with a laugh.
“NO!” Sabah yelled from the bathroom. She came in with a towel in her hand and as she dried her face she cautioned him, “You don’t know what she’s like, Michael! Felix Unger has got nothing on her — nothing! She’ll pick you apart, it doesn’t matter how great you are . . .” Her voice became muffled by the towel and Michael was glad. Sabah was describing her sister like she was some kind of monster. It made him sad. The door bell rang again.
“Well, if you don’t answer it she’s going to think you’re not here.”
“Just promise me you won’t leave the bedroom.”
“Sabah, why would I do that? Go, before she leaves.”
Sabah was half way out of the room before he could finish his sentence and in front of the door in no time. She took a deep breath and pulled the door open. There was no way to determine who was more surprised, Abena or Sabah. Abena took in Sabah’s flushed face and bright eyes. She was absolutely glowing! It was anyone’s guess as to why but the first thought that came to Abena’s mind was only a man could make her look so good. To Abena, she really looked like she had either just been made love to or had been caught in the act. She seemed more alive, more beautiful than she remembered. More — just everything. She even seemed taller, too, if that was possible but the truth was to Abena, Sabah was always larger than life.
While Abena admired Sabah, Sabah stood poised to hug her with her arms frozen in mid air, held in an open position. Her mouth hung open, too, in blatant shock. She didn’t even have time to take in her sister’s appearance. She became immediately transfixed by the tiny bundle in Abena’s arms. She told herself that her eyes were playing tricks on her but then the bundle moved, the blanket fell away and revealed a tiny head covered with soft hair.
Sabah regained a modicum of her composure, but then completely lost it again when she blurted out, “Where’d you get that baby!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael heard Olivia take a deep breath, hold it and then release it. It was a sigh of deep contentment, the kind babies emitted while they slept because they didn’t have a care in the world, a sound that was music to Michael’s ears, truly. He couldn’t think of a more beautiful sound. It was so intoxicating, so alluring Michael allowed himself to wonder at that moment what it would be like if this was their baby. The thought snuck up on him but he immediately became captivated by the idea. Would he ever be able to experience this, he mused, looking across at Sabah?

An image emerged of Sabah on her side, curled around their own baby as Michael stood watching lovingly. Michael was surprised at the longing that accompanied it. He would be a great father! Better than Joseph had ever been!!! His children would call him Daddy and they’d know for sure they were loved. The thought filled an empty void inside of him and all of a sudden he wanted it as badly as he’d ever wanted anything, as badly as he wanted to have the best selling record in the world. But surrounding the desire there lingered a dark, shadowy fear, as if this moment was something forbidden to him; something that he could think about if he wanted, that he could experience second hand, but he must never, ever believe for a moment he could have for himself. The fear made him angry. He WANTED to have this moment one day in his life. What kind of a life would he have if he never had the chance to hold his own child? The fear made his desire stronger and the fantasy became so appealing, so desirable, he let himself indulge in the thought for a long time. So long that when it occurred to him to ask Sabah what she thought about the idea, he realized that she, too was sleeping. He envisioned them in the park, running around with carefree abandon, throwing water balloons at each other. He saw them at the beach, drenching each other with water guns and falling onto the ground as they laughed and laughed. He saw them putting the baby to sleep, it was clear as day – so clear he could make out the expressions on their faces. He felt them making the baby and the feeling was real. It took a long, long time for him to let the fantasy go. In fact, even as he put the idea out of his mind he wasn’t sure if he had let it go at all.

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I remember thinking, God forgive me, when Michael said he couldn't sleep, that there was ONE THING that Michael needed to sleep and it wasn't Dr. Murray and his cocktail of drugs.

KKDiana, honey I hear you and I do understand what you mean . . . I live by this motto:

'I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it -- as long as it is said with respect and love and consideration.BUT I do not believe in name calling and character assassination. I call that "dirty fighting". It is not at all LOVING or KIND. I don't participate in that kind of dialogue.

Now honey, though I agree with you on this subject, as you can tell. I do think Michael knew he was musically talented and had confidence in that, but physically Michael had issues.

People think it's dishonorable to say Michael had issues. There is nothing shameful about having a problem. It is shameful to deny or ignore the problem, that's my opinion and I'm sticking with it. : )

__________________________

I just finished the chapter YAY!!!!! Now I have to put the pictures up! Patience, patience!

LOL I meant to add face, Michael didn't like anything about his face lol, I know he had confidence he was the most secure, sexy, confident,coolest person in the world when he was on stage, and he knew he was amazing, lol but he was too humble to say it lol.

Michael's kids will be making some sort of speech at the awards on Sunday, and some other family members will be there. I say it's a good thing they are getting out and being seen, why should they hide from the world? they have nothing to fear, Michael is watching over them and would want nothing more than for them to just live their life and be happy and do what they want to do. I have a feeling his kids will be in showbiz somehow,they want to break out, and they will one day!

Loveless, I think they did both. Anyone know what time the grammys come on. I hardly ever watch TV!

KK, I think the kids should be very CONCERNED about being "seen" in the world -- look at what the world did to their father!

I think Michael wants them to be happy and live their life, but they don't have to live a life in the spot light like he did; they're not some side show attraction for the paparazzi to follow around and take pictures of -- they're children, children who just lost their father, I might add.

I don't think they are old enough to make their own choices -- well maybe Paris and Prince, but Blanket -- people will be making choices for him, and Michael of all people knew how the industry likes to exploit children. Plus, are they really in the state of mind to be making appearances? I know they are still grieving.

I don't know, maybe it will be a healing experience for them to stand up for their father. I know I'd rather see them do it than Jermaine (Mr. Backbone) and his kids!!!

If the children have a passion to perform, sing, dance, okay, I support that. But I think we have enough wanna be stars out there in the world -- being famous is not the be all end all. There's more to life than that.

I kinda think Paris will be famous for being an activist of some sort -- not a performer. I see her being a great advocate against human suffering.

The children need to live their life and feel free, they are not celebrities, they are not Michael Jackson people won't resopnd to them the way they did to Michael. There are pictures of them going to Karate and the movies and no one on the street bothers them only paps take pictures, but who cares? look what happened to princess Diana by running from them, just let them take their picture and live your life! Children are tougher than you think, they have a great support around them, and have a counselor they talk to! They are making a simple speech to show the world they are proud of their father, he raised them well, they are confident, beautiful, sweet children, and i want the world to see them and what a great dad Michael was and how wonderful they turned out! I think they have alot of talent, so we'll see.

Ughhhh!!!! I have nothing good to say about the paparazzi! I wish they'd leave those kids alone. Who wouldn't run from them? They have no respect for anyone's privacy. I think the paparazzi should get a life! LOL!

I think those children don't know how much hate there is out in the world for Michael, and when they hear the ugly truth, it's going to be very painful. There's a WHOLE BUNCH of nasty articles and youtube videos up about Michael -- I don't think those kids know how the world treated their father.

And I don't think those people who were so ignorant towards Michael will be any different towards his children. They say that Michael wasn't their father with no thought to how such a statement can hurt those children! He's the only parent they know!

Yep, Michael did raise them well, so we'll see. If they have talent, I hope they use it as Michael did, to make the world a better place. If the world can see what a good job Michael did that way, that would be great.

I'd sure hate to see those kids become common fame whores, pimped by the sycophants around them.

They will learn how the world treated michael and it will hurt, but they will be strong and not make the same mistakes Michael made by hiding from them, they will say who gives a shit about the paps they can take their pictures because we are just living our life and doing what makes us happy! The kids are so poised and confident and they will help the world as prince said in his speech!

I love the confidence in your voice : ) I hope that's true!!!!! I hope the world gives them space to grow into that strong and confident adult and doesn't slowly chip away at them like they did to Michael. They have one plus, and that is the love of Michael from Birth. When your parents love and support you, like Michael said, it's a foundation that helps you face anything -- that's why losing Michael at such a pivotal point in their growth is huge.

sabine... Sabine? SABINE! Can you hear me? What, what are you doing to me? Why would you write such beautiful loveliness - only to leave me here with nothing to read? What do you mean you can't write any faster... I am making it a demand - and I refuse to say anything nice about this absolutely fabulous love story...NO!

AND I am not talking you anymore either... so there! I am officially sulking and on a time out.

Helllllp! I don't know what to do!!!!!!???!?!?!? Okay, I'm breaking out in hives!!! Martini girl: Confession! I have been waiting patiently for the God of Fiction to send me the next chapter. However, he/she -- whatever, has only sent me the first few paragraphs. Now if I act under pressure and write it from my own head, it won't be half as good as if I wait and write it from my heart -- I don't know what to do!!!!!

Dear God of Fiction, should I write some silly follow up just to satisfymy addicts insatiable need for all things Mike, or should I wait for your good, pure cobra crack to come down from the heavens!!!!