Lodro Rinzler2015-08-02T14:35:42-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/index.php?author=lodro-rinzlerCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Lodro RinzlerGood old fashioned elbow grease.Please Don't Start Meditating (Unless You're Willing to Change)tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2015:/theblog//3.64729962015-01-14T15:32:06-05:002015-03-16T05:59:01-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/
It's that time of year when self-reflection is at an all-time high, so I shouldn't be surprised at my wall. It's covered in all the various activity I'm engaged in, written out on yellow paper. Ranging from various formats of teaching meditation to writing books on meditation to writing articles on meditation to this one big piece of paper that reads, "The Institute for Compassionate Leadership."

Looking at the wall, the over-arching notion of what I do is clear: I aim to make meditation accessible. Stepping back from the wall I find myself asking, "Why?" The answer is simple: It helps people. Specifically, it helps them connect to who they are. It empowers them to let down their walls. It lets them open their heart. Meditation transforms you if you let it. As it opens your heart, it makes you want to help the world.

That takes us to the piece of paper that names the nonprofit I founded two years ago. At the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, we take people from very diverse backgrounds who know they want to help the world and give them the daily meditation practice so they can become more self-aware. They begin to notice when they aren't communicating effectively or listening enough or how they hold certain prejudices. They see their impact on the world and are more discerning in their behavior.

When we combine that work with in-depth community organizing training and send our participants to go work in their communities they do so from a place of genuine compassion, not with the privileged mindset of "I'm so good to be doing this, let me help all you little people." They realize that we all suffer, and want to help in whatever way makes sense given the circumstances they encounter. They do not go through the world with a lens of sympathy; they view it with empathy.

At the end of six months training at the Institute, we help them network to find that social change job or launch that beneficial venture they know will help society. It has been so inspiring to see that through the mindfulness, community organizing, and practical leadership training, new contributors to the movement of people doing good in the world are going out and doing just that. We just graduated our second class and they will go on to do work in gender and LGBTQ equality, reimagining how we view mental health, and mentoring young people who need it most. But the path began for them, as it did for me, as it does for so many, with mindfulness practice.

If you are beginning a meditation practice, you will, at some point, hit the wall where you want to quit. People don't stop meditating because they start to change for the better. They stop meditating because they don't see rapid enough change. We're so used to instant gratification in America. Meditation is not that.

Meditation is a gradual shift. You have to put in the work of sitting on your butt on a daily basis, coming back to the breath over and over again, and only then do you start to see subtle results. You might notice that you were less reactive when that jerk at work was showing off. Or you were more present with your partner over dinner. Or you were more patient with that person in front of you in line at the supermarket. It's those moments when you say, "Ah ha! I might be kinder/more present/more patient because of this thing I'm doing."

If we want to make this shift internally, it will be slow and steady. These days some people are trying to market meditation as "effortless." It's not. Sorry. It's a lot of time and energy spent coming back to the present moment. We're so used to being distracted that it actually takes a great deal of effort to come back to right now.

But if you want to change for the better, you ought to do it. You ought to let the practice soften the walls around your heart and allow your compassion to flow more seamlessly into the world. And, like those participants at the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, it can inspire you to do great things that will positively effect society.

So please don't start meditating, unless you're willing to change. Don't do it, unless you want your own open heart to start to move society in a positive direction.]]>The NYPD Needs Training in Compassiontag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.62695302014-12-04T11:19:21-05:002015-02-03T05:59:02-05:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/
If you are like me, you may find it hard to not fall into deep cynicism when what feels like the millionth African-American man is unnecessarily killed by the police. You may throw your hands in the air and declare the system is broken. Or you may let your anger fuel your protests in the streets. Or you may feel fear for loved ones because you worry they will be similarly persecuted. Or you may be like me and not know how the f*ck to react, because your heart feels like it may not heal from this one.

All too often, when something seemingly outrageous occurs, such as the lack of indictment of these police officers, we want to do something. We want to let our emotions turn into actions. Perhaps before leaping into action, you can let your heart break. You can just let it be broken. You can feel the emotion you feel fully, whatever it may be, without suppressing it, running away from it, or immediately acting upon it. There is wisdom and information in these emotions. Please join me in attempting to let that wisdom manifest.

Being with our emotions does not mean we should not engage in action or work to fix a broken system. It strikes me that one aspect of what is happening in these instances is an abuse of power. I remember the first time I heard of the Stanford Prison Experiment, the planned two-week investigation into the psychology of prison life. It had to be ended after six days because the college students who participated had morphed beyond belief. In this simulated environment, those students chosen to play guards became sadistic. Those students chosen to play prisoners became depressed and showed signs of extreme stress. While the recent killings I am citing did not occur in prison, it is hard not to wonder if a similar abuse of power is playing out in police departments across America. Power anywhere can easily be abused when there appropriate checks and balances are not in place.

The NYPD has responded to the death of Eric Garner by saying they will alter its arrest tactics. Police Commissioner Bratton has said, "We are in the process of retraining the whole department on issues of the use [of] force." I am not an expect in police matters, but if I could recommend something to Commissioner Bratton it would be less discussion about use of force, more discussion about the usefulness of empathy.

Power exists. It plays out on a societal level, where we see police officers able to walk away from indictment for the murder of civilians. It also plays out on a personal level. It plays out when you are a customer paying for groceries and have a dispute with the check-out cashier. It plays out when your child refuses to eat her vegetables and you have to threaten to send her to her room. It plays out all the time on a one-to-one level. So how can each of us wield power effectively?

We can wield power most effectively from a place of compassion. I founded the Institute for Compassionate Leadership because I believe that the abuse of power in our society can change. The Institute is a place for anyone who yearns to see compassion win out over aggression and is willing to devote their career to making that so. For younger people who are still figuring out what meaningful and beneficial work looks like to them, we have our Main Track. For those mid-career and looking to infuse compassionate leadership into their existent line of work, we have our Executive Track. In both, we explore meditation as a means to become more self-aware while discussing privilege and how to genuinely manifest as leaders so as to use our personal power most effectively.

The Institute for Compassionate Leadership is based in the belief that no one should walk into a charged scenario, let their fixed idea of what is going on trump the reality of a situation, and act out of aggression. The basic training is in learning to be more present, more self-aware, and connect with others from a place of openness. Can you imagine how this training might effect the NYPD differently than a training on use of force? Commissioner Bratton: You don't have to bring faculty from the Institute in to work with your officers but you do need to offer some version of empathy training.

To clarify, empathy is different than sympathy. Sympathy is looking at someone else and feeling sorry for them. Empathy is looking at someone else and seeing that, at some core level, we all go through similar struggles. Yes,a privileged white person has a different type of struggle than an African-American living in the projects. Absolutely. Yet, we all want to love. We all want to live in safety. We all fear violence.

There are ways for our officers (and leaders in general) to learn to connect to others from a place of empathy and compassion, rather than letting their fixed ideas of a situation run the show. If compassion training was introduced into our police departments we might see a societal shift away from excessive use of force and toward a deeper understanding of what it means to defend the common good, one based in the belief that every individual in society is, in fact, basically good. Until then, my heart continues to break.]]>3 Tips for Practicing Meditation in the Officetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.59033162014-09-29T20:16:29-04:002014-11-29T05:59:01-05:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/
When it comes to work, we always have a choice. We can schlep through our day-to-day existence, considering those hours we are working to be a waste of time, constantly looking ahead to our time off, or we can engage it in a way that makes us feel like we are participating in a life worth living. Meditation practice helps us slow down and be present enough to recognize the small joys about our work, as well as its frustrations. It helps us sort through the muck of our own mind, know our intention clearly, and live our lives fully. For a short video on how to meditate, click here.

I recommend that people start their day with meditation, when their mind is fresh. However, the timing for when we meditate is going to look different for different people. Some people love to meditate when they get home from work. Others like to take some time in the middle of their day, during their lunch break. Regardless of what works for you, try to start off with ten minutes a day, as many days a week as you can. It is said that after eleven days of doing anything in a row it becomes habit forming, so if you want to start meditating regularly try sticking to it for that consecutive period. Over time, if you miss a day here or there no need to beat yourself up.

That daily meditation practice can be the foundation for your spiritual journey. However, to think that you leave your mindfulness on the meditation cushion when you're done with a meditation session would be foolish. We are, after all, practicing for something. That something is the rest of our life.

Since we spend so much time at work, it is helpful to take moments to practice meditation throughout our day. If we have one meditation session at some point in our day we can use that as the jumping off point for very short sessions throughout the rest of it.

With that in mind, there are a few techniques I would recommend in practicing meditation at your work, be it a post office, an auto body shop, a library, or even a busy department store.

The Ding Meditation

One thing I like to do is set a timer to go off once an hour. I set a reminder on my phone, and after sixty minutes it will go "ding!" No matter what I am working on I am reminded to raise my gaze, connect with my posture, and meditate for a minute. I don't set a timer for that part of the process, I just practice for what feels like a minute or two then reset the timer and go back to work.

The Red Dot Meditation

My very first meditation instructor offered me this technique when I expressed interest in meditation as a child. He knew I would grow restless if I had to sit still for long periods of time so he recommended I take red circular sticker dots (you can find them at any stationary store) and post them around my house. When I walked by one and noticed it, I should think of it as a tiny STOP sign and pause, connect with my body, pay attention to my breath for a few moments, then move on. Try to do this in your own work environment. They are small enough that very few people will notice them, and it cuts through the habitual way you might rush about the place.

The Buddy System

It's often helpful to have a community of other meditators who encourage you to practice regularly. With that in mind, try to figure out if there is someone else in your place of employment who is interested in pursuing meditation. If so, you two can carve out some time during lunch or another break and meditate together for ten minutes. You don't have to practice meditation at home all by yourself; you two can find a quiet spot on the grass outside or on a bench somewhere, set a timer, and enjoy one another's support. Granted, it is extraordinary to find this sort of spiritual friend at work, but if you can you will experience a great level of support for your meditation practice; it's worth asking your colleagues if they are interested.

The more we begin to offer ourselves the gift of meditation, both in longer sessions and in little moments throughout our day, the more we are able to connect with the present moment. By enjoying the present moment we are able to connect with the details of our life, and experience every moment as an opportunity to connect with our basic goodness. From there, our strong mind can support us throughout our day.

A few years ago, at dinner with my friend Laura, I was talking about my writing and she about her impending graduation from social work school. Both of us felt on the cusp of something career-like but we had to pause and acknowledge that this year was the first time in our lives we had really revisited that old idea of "what do you want to be when you grow up." We started mapping out the trajectories for all of our mutual friends. They too had hit their late twenties and were all of a sudden scrambling to figure out what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives.

It occurred to me that given the current educational and economic situation in the United States, maybe the question of what you want to be when you grow up is outdated. This conversation steered me toward what is perhaps a better question for the thoughtful young person of today: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?"

I found that in determining who you want to be when you grow up, it is helpful to physically map some things out for yourself. And a mandala can be useful as a map. One translation of the Sanskrit word mandala is "circle." It is a diagram often used in Buddhism to depict the abode of ￼a deity or a microcosm of the universe. A mandala can be viewed in some respect as a sort of organizational chart.

The idea is that what is at the center of the mandala influences everything else in it. We can think of our lives and livelihood in those terms. Here is a fun exercise I encourage you to engage in:

1) Copy the diagram above by drawing a circle, then drawing three to five circles around it, in a concentric manner

2) Meditate for ten minutes

3) Toward the end of that meditation session, ask yourself, "What qualities do I want to cultivate in myself?"

4) Write those qualities down on a separate piece of paper. Be concise--just a few words will do. It might be kindness, sincerity, wisdom, or something equally personal to you.

5) Look at those qualities. Let your mind rest on them. As you rest your mind, discern which feel most pertinent.

6) If there is one that really stands out, write that down at the center of your mandala. For some people it might read feeling less stressed-out all the time or being more gentle or practicing compassion. Try to make it a quality rather than a job title.

7) In the circle outside of that core, write down some people or things that are important to you. You might write the names of family members or the name of your partner, or hobbies you engage in, or (I recommend this one) what you do or aspire to do for a living. Continue in the next circle out with other aspects of your life. Do you run? Put that in there. Do you like museums? Singing? Put those down. Continue to fill out the circles you provided for yourself with various aspects of your life. The more important they are to you, the closer they belong to that innermost circle.

8) Draw a line from the core of the mandala to each of those things you have written down.

9) On each of those lines, write how you might want your core motivation to influence that aspect of your life. For example, if you wrote down kindness, what would shift in that connection to your boss? What would shift in how you spend your money? What would shift in how you exercised?

10) When you are done writing, place the paper aside and rest with whatever feelings have come up. Then return to formal shamatha meditation, staying with your breath for five minutes.

When you engage in an exercise like the ten steps earlier, you are switching your focus from questions about what you ought to be doing with your career and instead embracing an idea of who you want to be. This will be helpful as you engage your career path, because you can always cultivate the qualities that are important to you, whereas you may not always be able to make a living doing exactly what you want to do.

Now, imagine for a moment a world where an entire generation took the view that it is more important that they determine who, not what, they want to be when they grow up. Some would still become baseball players and astronauts, but they would engage their work with the values that are most important to them.

Yet for anyone who has suffered from depression or had suicidal thoughts, you know that self-care is the last thing you want to do when you feel that down. I teach meditation, and write books about how it effects our everyday life. That is the form of self-care that I preach. The sort of people who want to learn about meditation aren't the "All is well and good in my world" type. They are people who have come to terms with the fact that they suffer. They are people finally looking at big transitions in their life, strong emotional states, and feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. So you would think that having taught meditation for thirteen years and worked with these people I would be a pro at this whole "take care of yourself" thing.

I have never publicly admitted this, but given the stigma around mental health issues and suicide I feel that I need to now: two years ago I was suicidal. I had written a best-selling Buddhist book and had begun working on the second one when the rug was pulled out from under me in a multitude of ways. My fiancé left me, quite out of the blue, without any recognizable reason. That set me down a self-destructive road which was only heightened when, a month later, due to budget cut-backs, my full-time job was eliminated. The straw that broke the camel's back came a few weeks after that; one of my best friends died of heart failure at the age of 29. I felt estranged from my family, and two major support structures, my fiancé and my friend were now gone, so I began to self-medicate in a destructive way. I knew better, but the vastness of my depression consumed any thoughts around self-care and regular meditation.

I cannot explain how fathomless my sadness was during that period. I had a roof I would go up to every single day and contemplate jumping. I convinced myself that my first book was out there helping people, so maybe I should finish the second one. I sat down and wrote the second half of that book, which oddly enough comes out next month. It gave me purpose, and during that short period of time friends started to catch on something was wrong with me.

I remember a day when I was particularly low. My friend Laura asked me to dinner but I could not stand to be in a restaurant, surrounded by people who seemed normal. We sat in a nearby park as it got dark, with homeless people urinating nearby and the rats slowly coming out to play. She was very patient with me, as I was not interested in leaving. Finally she asked the question, "Have you ever thought about hurting yourself?" I broke down in tears and within the week was guided by her and others into therapy. A week later I returned to the meditation cushion. A week after that I began eating regularly. A week after that I finally got a full night's sleep.

I mention my story because there's not just a social stigma around mental health issues, there's also a Buddhist one. I have seen some Buddhist teachers make remarks about depression as a form of suffering; that one should be able to meditate and have everything be okay, in lieu of prescription medication. That is not true; meditation is not a cure-all for mental illness. The Buddha never taught a discourse entitled, "Don't Help Yourself, Continue to Suffer Your Chemical Imbalance." If you have a mental illness, meditation may be helpful, but should be considered an addition to, not a substitution for, prescribed medication.

I write this article for two reasons. The first is to say that Robin Williams is a person. I am a person. And like all people, we struggle with a myriad form of suffering. And sometimes things feel like they are too much for us to handle. Just because Robin Williams was a comedian, a celebrity, or someone we viewed as a joyful person did not mean he wasn't fighting demons unknown to us. I share my story in the same vein; the fact that I struggled with suicidal thoughts does not negate my years of meditation experience or understanding of the Buddhist teachings, but shows that I am human and sway to suffering like all humans are. You can be well-practiced and still struggle like anyone else. Robin Williams ended up taking his life. I was lucky in that I was able to seek help and no longer feel the way I once did. In fact, that experience only deepened my appreciation for the practice of meditation and the Buddhist teachings. In many ways, my life has turned around.

The second reason I write this article is because my life turned around because I sought help. Buddhists can't just take everything to the meditation cushion and hope it will work out. When things get tough, as in to the point that you can't imagine getting out of bed in the morning tough, you need help. And there should be no shame in seeking it. If you even remotely feel like you are struggling with depression, or are going through an emotional time that simply feels out of control, the best way to take care of yourself is to seek guidance from trained professionals. Sure that can be a meditation teacher, but a therapist may prove more helpful at that time. Therapy in-and-of itself can be a mindfulness practice, where you bring your full attention for an hour each week to what is expressing itself in your body and your mind.

Don't feel like you have to go it alone. Meditation does not preclude or diminish the power of therapeutic methods. They are powerful in their own right. There are trained people out there who can work with you to navigate your suffering. Do not be scared to seek help.]]>Mindful Education: Meditation as a Compassionate Movementtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.54603892014-06-06T18:21:06-04:002014-08-06T05:59:04-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/Marie Claire and other publications, I was asked in to grill them on their angle for each article. Gradually it came out that I also write books about meditation and how it can apply to everyday life.

"I love meditation! It makes me calm," one student interjected. Gradually it came out that the entire class of ten year-olds had all experienced meditation in school or in their home lives. I spoke a bit more about the books I write on Buddhism and as soon as I said that word one student gingerly raised his hand. "What's a Buddhism?" he asked.

Last month I discussed on this site the idea that mindfulness isn't a trend, it's a movement. People are taking to meditation, without necessarily converting to a religious tradition (or in the ten year-old's case, knowing it exists). My primary argument is that mindfulness is a movement not because people love stress-reduction but because it's going to help people help other people. The simple act of becoming more familiar with your own mind and suffering will give birth to a sense of empathy when you see that everyone around you suffers, just as you do. And yes, mindfulness will sometimes be divorced from Buddhism as a religious tradition. And that's okay.

Enter Daniel Rechtschaffen's new book The Way of Mindful Education. In it Rechtschaffen speaks openly about the powerful effect meditation has on the mind and human spirit, and his own vast experience working within the educational system to dispel the myth that you have to adopt a religious framework in order to meditate. He points out, "Of course, just as drinking coffee will not make you Ethiopian, practicing mindfulness will not make you Buddhist."

In his book, Rechtschaffen explains simple ways for mindfulness to penetrate the school system and makes the concept accessible to children of all ages. The book contains dozens of easy exercises children can practice in any given moment. With his work, it's not just about sitting with the breath; it's making everything you do part of your spiritual journey. He makes meditation fun and practical for kids; it is something that can better your life and allow you to view the world as sacred.

In addition, he addresses adults that work regularly with kids, knowing that it's one thing to expect our children to become self-aware, its a whole other thing to embody that self-awareness yourself. "It's rare that schools or parents show children how to cultivate the very ethical attitudes they are espousing," he says, "and usually this is because we were never taught these priceless practices ourselves." The Way of Mindful Education is part of this movement of making meditation accessible yet not dumbing down the potent practice of meditation, and for that reason I highly recommend it.

Last year I started the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, which takes people primarily in their twenties and thirties who want to help the world and gets them focused and trained up to do just that. One of the major parts of our curriculum is the meditation practice that Rechtschaffen speaks of in his book. Through our mindfulness training, alongside our introductions to community organizing and practical leadership skills, we create new contributors to the movement of people doing good in the world. I am convinced, however, that if we just had our participants meditate for the six months they are a part of our program they would still come out more mindful, self-aware, compassionate individuals. Both for our children and our Millennials, meditation is the practice that will aide them in becoming upstanding, compassionate citizens.

Having run Buddhist centers for the last decade, I am aware that many people come to the meditation practice in their forties or later. I started the Institute for Compassionate Leadership in part to introduce meditation as a tool to help younger people on their career path. The beauty of the work that Rechtschaffen and his peers are doing in bringing meditation into the educational system is that they are introducing mindfulness at the youngest age possible.

I mentioned this book to a friend and her thirteen year-old daughter Nika the other day over lunch. "Oh yeah," Nika said, "My history teacher started a mediation group a while back." I asked if people attended. "Sure," she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "it's an extracurricular." Mindfulness has penetrated our workplaces, our social change movements, and now our educational system to the point that Meditation Club is just as normal as photography and theater. The work that Rechtschaffen and others are doing in this regard is important, and will bear fruit for decades to come.]]>Mindfulness Isn't a Trend, It's a Movementtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.52123672014-04-25T12:28:31-04:002014-06-25T05:59:02-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. They wanted to hear career advice, ways to make their relationships more mindful, or how to life a "good" Buddhist lifestyle.

He took his seat and looked out at the crowd. He said, "I am going to create an enlightened society. And you're going to help me do that, right?" The crowd was mute. He pushed us: "Right?" Suddenly we woke up to what he was intimating. "Right!" we declared.

The idea of an "enlightened society" in the Shambhala tradition is the idea that we can manifest mindfulness and compassion in our work life, relationships, and communities, ostensibly letting those qualities have a positive impact on society as a whole. You and me? We can contribute to a more awake, or enlightened, society on a day-to-day level, using mindfulness as a way to become more clear on how to do that.

I just used a term that's gotten plenty of attention lately: mindfulness. One of my fellow bloggers for The Huffington Post declared 2014, "The Year of Mindful Living." For the second time in the last decade TIME magazine put meditation on its cover. The headline? "The Mindfulness Revolution." The sub-title? "The science of finding focus in a stressed out, multi-tasking culture." A fair amount has been said about TIME's questionable choice of a blonde, white woman representing this revolution and much of that I agree with. But I'm not here to argue that issue. I'd like to argue that they missed the point of the revolution altogether.

Mindfulness is not a trend, as people have been declaring on this and other sites. It's a movement. And not a movement based on people getting less stressed out or more focused. Mindfulness is a movement because it's going to help people help other people.

I do two things for a living. I'm an author of a bunch of books on Buddhist meditation and how it helps you in everyday life and I run something called the Institute for Compassionate Leadership. I was born and raised meditating and I don't see myself stopping should it become untrendy. As part of my work I teach meditation, either in Shambhala Centers, universities, in companies or at the institute.

I've taught meditation to all sorts of people and they may have started because they were stressed out, or they had suffered a loss, or they needed help dealing with strong emotions. But if you give them a few weeks of meditating regularly, all of a sudden they noticed their suffering was not unique.

Through becoming more familiar with their own minds and ways of struggle through mindfulness meditation, they all of a sudden were able to raise their gaze and be aware that other people suffer just like them. The story lines may differ, but they woke up to the fact that everyone suffers. After engaging mindfulness they are transformed into more compassionate beings with one simple question: "How can I help others?"

At this point you may think I would encourage them to bring more people to the flock. "Tell your friends about meditation! Let's get a massive congregation together and sit on our butts and get focused!" My answer is always the same: "It's up to you to make a difference in small and big ways. You have to make it personal. You have to make it actionable."

Sometimes people just try to be more compassionate in their home and work life. Sometimes people actually engage their community through volunteerism or social action. This is the mindfulness movement: people getting off the meditation cushion and knowing that it's up to them to slow the rise of suffering in the world.

The mindfulness movement has already begun. There are little pockets of meditators and yogis getting together with the SEIU to rally around the minimum wage issue. There are school teachers meeting in massive conferences talking about how to bring mindfulness into our education system. Then there are people like me, supporting causes like those but also starting full-fledged leadership trainings for people inspired to change society.

The Institute for Compassionate Leadership takes people who want to help the world and gets them focused and trained up to do just that. Then we help them network to find that social change job. Through our mindfulness, community organizing, and practical leadership training, we create new contributors to the movement of people doing good in the world.

Mindfulness isn't going to be a trend, because it's been around for thousands of years. It will gain more popularity and understanding, and that's great. Because we need more people looking at their own suffering in order to better understand suffering in their communities. The movement aspect will soon be mainstream as well. Meditators are already getting off the cushion and starting to make a difference.]]>Can Mindfulness Breed Compassionate Leaders?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.49174182014-03-07T11:29:30-05:002014-05-07T05:59:01-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/
I'm a firm believer in that final notion. When I first started the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, I would outline to people the three main things we emphasize in our curriculum: meditation, community organizing training, and the types of leadership skills you simply don't learn in university these days (fund-raising, negotiation, how to run a meeting). I would joke though, that even if none of the organizing or leadership skills landed with participants, after six months of meditating everyday I could pretty much guarantee they would still end up more compassionate leaders.

I could say this with certainty because I've seen the transformative power of meditation time and time again. I've been teaching meditation within the Buddhist tradition for thirteen or so years now. I've seen people come in, saying they are stressed out and can't sleep or are going through a tough time personally and want meditation to help them. I'm cool with that. I give them the practice with some intro guidance and even in the span of a five week class I notice something shift.

I remember one student, Bill, getting up during one of these classes and saying he didn't have a question to ask but wanted to share a poem on being open-hearted. I gave him the floor. "Okay," I said afterward, "Bill if I'm not mistaken you said a few weeks ago that you came here to handle your stress. That poem was just about how what you really want to do is to help others through being more present with them."

"Yeah. I guess it's not just about me anymore," Bill said. Through becoming more familiar with how he suffered at work, in his relationships, and in his community, Bill began to realize that everyone else he encountered suffered in related ways. Their story lines may look different but they were just as easy lured by passion, aggression, and ignorance as he was. He realized he wasn't meditating just for his own sake, but so he could be present and open with other people he encountered. When meditating regularly, this shift toward compassionate activity is not uncommon.

Meditation transforms you if you let it. It opens your heart, and makes you want to help the world. At the Institute for Compassionate Leadership, we take young people from very diverse backgrounds who know they want to help the world already and do the reverse: we give them the daily meditation practice so they can become more self-aware. They begin to notice when they aren't communicating effectively or listening enough or how they hold certain prejudices. Given that the common millennial switches jobs seven times while in their 20's, asking them to become more self-aware and focused on what meaningful work means to them is solving the millennial employment crisis in a way that no other leadership training organization has.

When we combine that work with the community organizing training and send our participants to go volunteer in their communities they do so from a place of empathy, not with the mindset of "I'm so good to be doing this let me help all you little people." They realize that we all suffer, and want to help in whatever way makes sense in the circumstances they encounter. But the path begins with mindfulness practice.

My most recent book, Walk Like a Buddha: Even if Your Boss Sucks, Your Ex is Torturing You, and You're Hungover Again, could easily be judged by its cover. A conservative Buddhist might look at that title and not even open the book. But if they did they would see a purposeful bait and switch: the book opens with an intro to meditation and then sections on going out and dating but once we've covered some of that activity, we dive into two areas that can effect the world: bringing our meditation practice to social action and work. How can we bring an open heart into a world of tremendous suffering? How can we find work that is meaningful to us and in line with our desire to help others? These are the questions both the book and the Institute for Compassionate Leadership set out to answer.

That being said, the book started with a pretty alluring hook: meditation and beers and sex. If beer and sex is what is on people's minds and they think meditation can help with that, great. But if they stick with the practice they will find themselves transformed and will go on to become compassionate leaders. They will apply it to their workplace environment and become more actively involved in volunteer and community activities. We need more compassionate leaders in this world, and I'm okay with them starting out thinking meditation is stress-reduction, even though it's really heart-opening.]]>Selfies and Self-Love: Why You Should Spend Valentine's Day With Discomforttag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2014:/theblog//3.47691912014-02-11T16:02:55-05:002014-04-13T05:59:01-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/
Why have selfies become such a thing? I have a theory. There's no "Dislike" button on Facebook. Or Instagram for that matter. And if you want to dislike something on Twitter the way you do that is by replying to that person with a statement of complaint. The way we have set up our social media tools is that you can post something to your friend group, like a photo of yourself, with the blanket expectation that you will get dozens of waves of positive feedback in the form of likes, comments, retweets, and hearts. In this cloud-based network we have built an impenetrable fortress of positive reinforcement.

Am I against people feeling validated? Heck no. But the people I see posting photo after photo of themselves are not always the ones I think are the most confident in who they are. I see someone doing that and think, "Oh, they really rely on external validation." Behind that is the (admittedly) judgmental thought, "Oh, I wonder how much they really love themselves."

In my most recent book, Walk Like a Buddha, I devote a full section to Buddhism, love, and romance. In this section I cover ten questions people have asked me over time, ranging from "How can I work with loneliness?" to "What's a Buddhist approach to online dating?" to "How do I hold my heart in the midst of a break-up?" Underlying these questions, and the plethora more I get from readers each week, lies a much simpler question: "How can I be at home with who I am, right now?"

Whether you are looking for love, struggling with a long-distance relationship, or nursing a broken heart, there's a certain level of discomfort that exists. Each of us has spent decades habituating ourselves to run from discomfort. We drink, or hook up, or shop, or post selfies. Anything to make us feel good about ourselves.

From a Buddhist perspective, we're never going to get truly comfortable. Even if you find a wonderful partner, the relationship might shift and end in a break-up or death. If you look to work for stability and comfort, you won't find it in today's economic situation. If you look to technology as a way to get comfy I have bad news: there's always going to be a new tech trend that will put what you have to shame. Things change, folks. Impermanence is part of the nature of reality. It's what the Buddha taught not because he was a great philosopher but because that's the way things are and he was able to see that.

What does all of this have to do with self-love? In my own experience, the times when I have felt the most discomfort, when I have had loved ones die, or gone through terrible break-ups, or been very ill, are the times when I had to look at my ability to love. I have had to contemplate what it means to love myself, even if I wasn't who I wanted to be in that moment. In those times, no selfie was going to save me. I couldn't look to external validation. It came down to me, lying on a bed, crippled by emotion, and asking that simple question I listed above: "How can I be at home with who I am, right now?"

For me, the answer has been equally simple. I meditate. I sit down on a cushion and practice calm-abiding meditation. One of the words for meditation in Tibetan is gom, which can be translated as become familiar with. Through the practice of returning to the breath, over and over again, I start to notice the way my mind works. I become more familiar with my mind, and thus befriend it. My teacher, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, wrote an amazing guide to this practice with the apt title: Turning the Mind into an Ally. Through meditation we are learning to befriend our mind. We are learning to not struggle so much against who we are. We can embrace ourselves, as we are, in this moment. That is the power of meditation. That is what I mean by self-love.

The next time you feel uncomfortable, look to your own mind. Valentine's Day is coming up, and for many of us that brings up a wide range of emotional reactions. Don't flee from them. Don't take selfies and hope people will say you look good. Just rest with what you are feeling. Rest with who you are. Practice self-love this Valentine's Day.]]>Creating Social Change Through Inner Change: Meditation and Meaningful Worktag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.41450182013-10-24T16:23:00-04:002014-01-23T18:58:21-05:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/
When angel asked me why I do what I do, I felt my heart break. I'm used to heart break, having suffered a pretty horrendous year of loved one's (plural) deaths, a broken engagement, job loss, and having my worldly possessions washed away in Hurricane Sandy. But this heart break wasn't about me. It was about my generation.

There are so many people in their twenties and early thirties that yearn for social change, but don't know how to do go about affecting it. They long for meaningful work but don't know how to focus their energy. They want to help others but spend most of their time struggling just to pay the bills. I travel frequently for my books and across America I meet these people, either when they are about to graduate from college or when they are a few years into the workforce, and talk to them about their quarter life crisis.

This quarter life crisis, this moment of freaking out about what you will do for a living, can be summed up in the question, "How am I going to have an impact in this lifetime?" On one hand, it's encouraging to see so many of my peers strive to live with purpose and considering that a marker of success. On the other, I see so many of them strive for that goal without any means to pursue it. That is where my heartbreak kicks in.

When my first book, The Buddha Walks into a Bar, came out I thought maybe one young person would read it and start meditating. Let's imagine that this young person is driven and smart. They get recruited by Goldman Sachs. They rise in the ranks and in 30 years they're the CFO. However, they have been meditating for the last 30 years and as a result have sown the seeds of mindfulness and empathy over that time. They wield the power of their position responsibly, with care for others in their heart, as a result of embodying the qualities of meditation. If that happens as a result of my books then I'll be thrilled.

This same motivation compelled me to start the Institute for Compassionate Leadership. Instead of passively offering meditation through a book I knew that we could use it as one of many leadership training skills. Having spent some time working on the Obama campaign I realized the genuine relationship building that took place in that environment was an effective way of creating lasting change within neighborhoods. If that authentic style of community organizing could be matched with the self-awareness and compassion practices of meditation it could revolutionize how we affect social change.

The notion of inner change actively being partnered with social change methodology excited me, and that's part of what I told angel. The rest was my concern around young people today finding work, and how the Institute has partnered with recruiters to aid in placing our aspiring change makers in meaningful employment. We provide aspiring change-makers with training in meditation, organizing, and leadership skills, support them with coaches and mentors who help them focus on a specific social change calling, and then put them to work in that field at the end of our program.

She understood. She nodded, hearing what I had said, embodying the deep listening that a good meditator or organizer would manifest. She gave me the gift of space. I felt encouraged to continue. I spoke of my dear friend Alex, who had suddenly died on the campaign trail, whose death pushed me to Ohio to continue in his stead, who was a compassionate leader himself. In that moment I realized that I started this organization as a way to honor the past and his legacy, but to work for the future and aspiring leaders like him. Finally angel looked up. "Sounds good to me."

I was heartened to learn more of angel's work, which seems to be constantly morphing and evolving to keep up with the needs of those she encounters. I aspire that my work will do the same thing. I know that there are others like us, bridging this gap between inner transformation and social change, and look forward to all of us working together to effectively aid a new generation of aspiring change-makers.

Lodro is now meeting with individuals interested in attending the Institute for Compassionate Leadership. To sign up for an informational interview click here. He is also traveling for his new book, Walk Like a Buddha.]]>You Are Worthy of Lovetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.41018182013-10-16T16:30:03-04:002013-12-16T05:12:01-05:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/

I have difficulty seeing myself as worthy of love. I doubt I'll ever find a partner. I feel alone and unlovable.

Sometimes this question was phrased as someone feeling like their partner did not actually love them and they didn't have confidence in their ability to be loved. Other times it was based in feeling alone. More often than not, the person asking the question says they feel like they are not worthy of another person's love.

We live in a society that is based in highlighting our short-comings. The make-up ads, the perfectly manicured celebrities, the thousand dollar suits and dresses that adorn them, everything highlights just how not put together enough we are. We have society yelling in our ear, saying, "Everyone has their act together except you. I swear!" Of course, that is simply not the case. Everyone, including the fantastical celebrities, have issues. I can't imagine the latest twenty-something movie star going through her second divorce doesn't worry that she is inherently unlovable.

The Shambhala Buddhist view of basic goodness is that we are already perfect. We are already amazing, just as we are. We are imminently loveable. If you can learn to develop faith in that notion, then you will realize your own self-worth. It is so important to develop faith in basic goodness. Pema Chodron has said, "I can't overestimate the importance of accepting ourselves exactly as we are right now, not as we wish we were or think we ought to be."

In any moment we have a choice. We can give in to society's pleas, urging us to become despondent because we will never be good enough to succeed in love, work, or family. Or we can listen to our own basic goodness, allowing that intuitive voice to guide us toward awakening to our full potential. We can hear that voice urging us to realize that we can accept ourselves exactly as we are; that we are already complete.

When we listen to the societal whisper of doubting our own goodness, we end up feeling alone and unlovable. When you have been broken up with, or have been single for a long time, you might begin to doubt that you will ever find someone who loves you for you again. Particularly as you start to get a bit older, you see all of your friends pair off and get married, and you may feel like you have missed the boat and will end up alone, with cats, until you die, are not found for weeks, the cats get hungry, and they eat you.

That is an extreme form of doubt. It is based in the idea that you are not okay. You are not good enough to be loved, or worthy of another person's admiration, so you will live a miserable life because no one will care for you in any way. It assumes that true happiness will be found in external circumstances, in this case a partner, who will always be around, supportive, and not die before you.

When you are hooked by this trap of doubt, there are two things you can remind yourself:

1) Everything is impermanent

My father's dentist used to joke that there can't be a hell, because you can get used to anything in three days. The notion behind impermanence is that it's not just good stuff that changes, morphs, and fades away. It is the bad stuff too. It is the heart-break when you are dumped, and the grief when someone dies, and the feelings of inadequacy that move across our life like a tumbleweed in an old Western movie. Everything is impermanent, so there is actually very little to worry about in this lifetime.

2) Basic goodness never fades away

The one thing that will not fade or go away is our innate wakefulness. In traditional texts it is referred to as primordial, in that it has no beginning and no end. Our ability to wake up is always available to us, like a well that has unlimited water rushing into it. No matter how much we drink of our basic goodness, there is always more of it to enjoy.

If you can overcome your doubt, you can connect with the view of basic goodness. You can soak in the cool, refreshing waters of this fathomless well of awake. Even if society whispers in your ear that you are unlovable, or that you will end up with one hundred cats, you can take a sip of your own goodness and acknowledge that those whispers are ephemeral and they too shall pass.

As unpopular as this view may be in today's world, the Buddhist perspective is that everyone is born with basic goodness. Even Hitler. Even Manson. Even Bundy. Even those messed up people who go into schools and murder innocent people. They are all basically good. They are not inherently evil. They are so very confused. They deserve our compassion.

I believe that when people hear me speak of this topic, they think I am defending these individuals. I certainly am not. There are some people out there who have done some really horrendous things, things that break my heart. I am, however, defending the view that these people are basically good. During a leadership gathering Buddhist teacher Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche spoke about society and said, "What will determine our success is the ability to remain open to the universal message [of basic goodness] and to remain unequivocal in our trust of human nature."

Traditionally we are asked to practice compassion for everyone. Everyone, in this case, includes that man who mugged you for drug money years ago, or the strung out man who barfed on your shoes last week. Everyone is people we love, people we hate, and people we don't give a fuck about.

Compassion, in this larger context, means that you have to have trust in human nature, as the Sakyong points out. Even the sick individuals who kill or otherwise harm loved ones or children can be redeemed. You have to acknowledge that even those people are just that -- sick -- and still have a shred of basic goodness in their being. If you can, then you are remaining open to the universal message of basic goodness, and positively influencing society overall.

Last year I led a meditation workshop at Kripalu in Lenox, Massachusetts. The day participants arrived tragedy struck America; 28 individuals lost their lives in the Newtown, Connecticut shooting. One man shot and killed his mother, then went to the school where she worked, killed 20 first graders and six more of their teachers before taking his own life.

I feel now, like I felt then, that no words can really accurately describe this profound loss. These children will never grow up to meet their first loves, or make an impact in their chosen profession, or know the joy of being married or having kids of their own. The amazing educators who gave their life protecting the children are such heroes; they saw an opportunity to save precious lives and took it.

That night, I gave a short introductory talk to the participants. It was an overview on why meditation is helpful in today's world. I felt such sadness in the room so I knew it would be best if we spoke of this tragedy openly. At the end, we each made an aspiration or said a prayer for the victims of the Newtown tragedy. The next day, we included them in our loving kindness meditation practice.

Halfway through the workshop one of the participants approached me privately. She explained that earlier that week she was at a mall in Portland when yet another deranged individual walked in and opened fire. She told me that if she had decided to get a hamburger instead of sushi, she would have turned right instead of left, and walked straight into the line of fire. She could have easily been killed. She was lucky to be alive, but was clearly traumatized.

After our loving-kindness practice she told me that she had a breakthrough. "I don't forgive these shooters," she said, "but I did find myself hoping that after a life of suffering they were finally at peace." This woman's breakthrough touched me deeply. Even if you cannot summon the same level of compassion and open-hearted affection for Hitler as you can for your mother, you can still wish these beings peace.

When you engage in compassion practices you have to be open to helping everyone. In talking about committing to the Mahayana path Pema Chodron once wrote, "Making the second commitment means holding a diversity party in our living room, all day every day, until the end of time." You cannot choose who you invite to your compassion party. Your mother may show up, but so may Hitler. So may other people who are very confused, and who act out of that confusion and harm innocent people. You have to offer them all the guacamole dip and invite them to take a seat.

In offering compassion to everyone we are developing trust in basic goodness. The Sakyong, in that same talk to the leadership, said, "The result of trust is joy. Our effectiveness in helping others will be based in that trust in basic goodness. Shambhala is saying not just that humans are basically good but that society as a whole is basically good."

We are all in this society together. We cannot close our hearts to psychopaths, or potential psychopaths. We have to be willing to help everyone. In fact, the potential psychopaths are the ones who need our help most of all.

I sobbed for ten minutes straight. Alex was one of my best friends, and losing him to heart failure a few months before had (has) broken my heart.

When I was done, the idea for the Institute for Compassionate Leadership fell into my head. I looked around the room, filled with twenty-somethings who desired to create social change and, now that the campaign was over and the president re-elected, felt somewhat lost and directionless. I knew they were not alone; most of the hundreds of university students I had met over the past year while traveling for my first book, The Buddha Walks into a Bar, expressed a similar push-pull of "I want to help the world" and "I'm not sure how." I took in the president's words and thought, "There has to be a way to let the Millenial generation figure out their focus and do meaningful work."

The Institute for Compassionate Leadership is unique in that it takes these young aspiring changemakers and offers them a training based in mindfulness meditation, Obama campaign-style organizing techniques, and traditional leadership skills. We offer coaches to help students determine not just what they want to do next but what sort of leaders they want to become, who they want to be. Once a student has an idea of where they want to focus as a career, be it gun control, poverty advocacy, education reform, or elsewhere, we get them a mentor in that field. After they graduate from our program we hustle on their behalf to get them placed in a job in that social change field. In this way, the institute serves as a one-stop shop for training up and empowering more self-aware and compassionate leaders.

Alex was one of these leaders. He took a semester off during our senior year of college to campaign for Barack Obama when he ran for senator. While I never admitted it, I admired him for the bold move of leaving school and working that election. Here we were, all floundering in trying to figure out what we want to do, and Alex was already out there creating real change in the world. He went on to serve in major leadership roles in the 2007 primaries and 2008 and 2012 campaign cycles. He passed away on July 13, 2012, a devastating and horrific day.

The short answer to the question posed in the title of this piece is that Millenials want to do work that matters. There are many people out there who are looking for their chance to have an impact on society, just as Alex did. In 2010 the Pew Research Center released a study which states that Millennial priorities today seem to focus on benefiting others. Their study showed 21% of respondents claiming that "helping others in need" was a priority, which outranked such notions as owning a home or having a high-paying career. A study released by Career Advisory Board in early 2011 shows that Millennials believe that the top three factors that indicate career success are "meaningful work" (30%) which is more important than "high pay" (27%), and "sense of accomplishment" (24%).

I don't agree with everything the president does. But I do believe that he was right when he said that we each have the opportunity to leave an indelible mark, as long as we decide that we're going to spend our lives giving something back. Alex spent his career doing something he loved, and left this indelible mark. In honor of what he accomplished, and because I have seen first-hand how transformative both the grassroots style organizing and mindfulness meditation techniques can be, I am hoping that our fledgling institute will not only leave a positive mark on others but empower them to create the change this world needs. I am hoping it will let them do the work they want to do.

I know I can never get Alex back. I'm pretty sure I've tried everything in that regard already, and nothing panned out. However, he was a compassionate leader. And if I can play some small role in creating more people like that then I'll give my all to that endeavor.

To nominate someone for the inaugural class of the Institute for Compassionate Leadership click here.]]>Coming Out as a Buddhisttag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.33917552013-06-05T15:38:49-04:002013-08-05T05:12:02-04:00Lodro Rinzlerhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/lodro-rinzler/Q: How do I explain Buddhism to my religiously conservative parents?

I remember being in a bar one night and a newer meditator asked me about coming out to their parents as a Buddhist.

"You make it sound like you're telling them you're gay," I said.

"Well, I think they would be more OK with that," he replied, "Being gay they understand. Buddhism, that's really weird for them."

If someone has never been exposed to meditation or Buddhist tenets, it can seem very weird and foreign. Whether you are talking with your religiously conservative family or a long-time friend who doesn't know much about what you're up to, you can apply basic Buddhist principles to help them understand what it is you do.

We have this training that can be applied to having these conversations. When you sit down to meditate you become very inquisitive about your own self. You begin to poke and prod at this image you have of who you are, what your habits look like, whether they are helpful or harmful to you, and more. That is the process of getting to know yourself, and befriending yourself.

When you are attempting to explain your understanding of Buddhism to people who are unfamiliar with it, you can apply this same level of inquisitiveness and curiosity. The more open and inquisitive you can be with another person, the more they want to reciprocate.

Zen master Seung Sahn was once asked about a similar topic by a student who was trying to articulate basic Buddhist teachings. The Zen master said, "When you teach other people, just teach. Only teach; only help them. Don't worry whether or not they understand; only try. If you are trying 100 percent, then your teaching is complete and your mind-light will shine to them." You can follow the Seung Sahn's advice by bringing your full self genuinely to this conversation.

Just offer what you experience, as opposed to your cerebral understanding. Don't fixate on whether you are saying the smartest or most articulate thing; just try and don't sweat it as to whether they understand every aspect of what you are saying. It is better that they get a hit of how meditation is affecting your presence than that they know exactly what it is you do at your local meditation center.

You don't have to wait until you are enlightened to talk to your parents about meditation. You can feel out their questions, really being inquisitive with their understanding of Buddhism. Then you can offer your experience, as opposed to your cerebral understanding, to them. Don't try to get everything "right" in having this conversation but allow your presence to speak for you. Drop your set opinions around what they should take away from that conversation, or how you would like it to run. Just be with whomever you are talking to, and your authentic presence will speak for itself.

At the time of this writing at least three are reported dead and more than 100 injured. The dust is still settling and the "who" and "why" may not be forthcoming for quite some time. As someone who has spent the last year in grief over the loss of one loved one or another, I'd like to posit that dwelling on "who" and "why" may not be the most helpful thing to do in this particular moment. Perhaps the most helpful thing to do is to allow yourself to feel your heart.

The compassion practice I am doing in the midst of this tragedy is known as tonglen. Tonglen is a Tibetan word which can be translated as "sending and receiving." It is a practice where you breathe in the things that are painful or uncomfortable for others and breathe out, sending those people pleasing, soothing qualities. It is a practice that enables us to be open, vulnerable and yet offers strength within that context. I offer pith instructions below (click here for more from Shambhala acharya Pema Chodron).

1. Gap

To begin, sit in meditation for at least 10 minutes. For instructions on how to meditate, click here. When you are done, raise your gaze a bit and allow yourself to experience a brief mental gap. Allow your mind to experience its own vastness. Connect to the present moment, without an object of meditation.

2. Textures

As you return to focusing on your breath, begin to place your mind on a variety of textures. As you breathe in, imagine that you are breathing in hot, heavy energy. This may feel a bit claustrophobic, which is fine. Breathe in this weightiness, through every pore of your body. Then when you exhale, breathe out fresh, cool energy. Do this practice of breathing in and out, visualizing these textures, for a few minutes.

3. Individuals

Having gotten the hang of the ebb and flow of connecting your breath to these textures, bring to mind an individual involved in this tragedy. It might be someone you know of, or perhaps you have only seen their photo. Try your hardest not to shut down your heart but remain open to the scenario. As you breathe in, feel as if you are breathing in their specific pain. You may breathe in fear, or physical discomfort, or grief. We may not know exactly what everyone in Boston is going through but we all know those basic experiences. You can breathe that feeling in, and breathe out a sense of calm, or relief, or spaciousness to those people. Whatever comfort you can offer in this moment, offer it on the out-breath.

4. Go Bigger

As you conclude working with a specific person or persons during your tonglen practice, you can extend your practice larger than that scenario. For example, you can extend that aspiration of relief to everyone else who lives in Boston and is grieving or in physical pain. The idea is to make this practice radiate far and wide, so all beings feel a sense of comfort as a result.

It is important to start as personal as possible in this practice, before going big. If you sit down and just contemplate how many people are in pain and attempt tonglen for them you may end up having this be a theoretical exercise. If you start with one person, even if you have only seen their picture, you have a greater chance of it becoming real and experiential. At the end of your tonglen practice, return to the basic meditation practice for another few minutes. Ground yourself back in the present moment by focusing on the natural flow of your breath, sans visualization.

Through engaging this practice we learn to become open-hearted, without judgment. We can offer our empathetic aspirations for everyone affected by this tragedy, without placing blame. This is, of course, not to excuse or downplay the role people have played in creating this horrific event, but before we leap to conclusions perhaps we can first just offer our hearts and sympathy.

In the days and weeks to come we may be able to offer more than our sympathy, prayers and practice. I look forward to contributing in other ways to the relief efforts. Yet when something like this happens, we often say, "There are no words." Perhaps we should not yet go to words. For those of us located outside of the Boston area we may not yet be able to go to deeds either. For now, maybe it is OK to go to our vast broken heart.]]>