One mother explains how her role shifted from adversary to advocate as she found a more effective way to deal with her son's school.

Related articles

When my eldest son entered middle school, he really struggled with schoolwork. Through testing, we learned that he had a learning disability. I knew I needed to find ways to support his academic efforts.

After getting past my emotions - anger, disappointment, frustration, and sadness - I began to think of ways I could work in partnership with the school to make sure he would receive the help and services he needed. Being adversarial only seemed to build barriers, so I learned to communicate with the school without becoming defensive or confrontational. I took time to organize my thoughts, collected reports and other documents, and formed a plan of action. I made sure to stick to the facts and not let my emotions take charge.

I asked what I could do at home to support what the teachers were trying to accomplish. I realized it was better to present myself as an ally, rather than a "troublemaker." I found out that teachers and schools often feel all of the responsibilty for educating kids, so I presented myself as a member of the team. We all needed each other.

I became involved at school to get insight into what was happening there. I made sure that what I said and how I acted let everyone know I was interested not only in my son's education but also in contributing time and energy to helping teachers and other kids, too.

I participated in a group of parents, teachers, and administrators who looked at special education issues together and developed a broader picture of the issues. As a result, I found out that my interpretation of special education rights wasn't always accurate. The whole experience gave me a new perspective about schools and professionals. In learning how to communicate with educators, I met some wonderful people who cared about kids and worked hard on their behalf.

While helping my son, I learned my own lessons, too - to have patience, perseverance, and stamina and to monitor my words, tone, and emotions. Along the way, I developed more self-confidence and a feeling of competency. My experiences left a lasting impression on my life and guided me to an exciting new career in the field of learning disabilities.

Comments from GreatSchools.org readers

03/19/2010:

"Nothing in this article says whether or not your son's learning benfitted
from your becoming involved in his schooling."

11/6/2008:

"I reaaly like this website. It helps me prepare for the parent/teacher confrence. Excellent tips for my child`s education, and for me to learn my child`s strengths and weeknesess. I see myself being more confident when it comes to questions for the teacher, and for my feedback. I really enjoy this whole idea!"

Thank you for submitting a review

Thank you. Your review has been posted.

Thank you for submitting a review

Welcome to GreatSchools!

Complete your school's profile

For principals and school officials, we offer a special Enhanced School Profile (ESP) which allows you to update and add information about your school, as well as respond to reviews. If you are a school official, click Continue to start.

You must agree to continue

Yes, I am an official at this school.

Thank you for submitting a comment

Please note that it can take up to 48 hours for your comment to be posted to our site. While you're here, we'd like to invite you to fill out a
survey on your school's programs, activities, and extracurriculars. It only takes a few minutes and will help parents get a full picture of your school.

You may only compare 8 schools at a time

Your account is now active

Get started now! You have successfully registered and can now start updating your Official School Profile.
The information you provide is extremely valuable in helping parents and students learn more about your
school, so thanks for taking the time!

You're almost there!

Thank you for registering as a school leader. We just need to verify your email address. We've sent you an
email - please click on the link in that message to get started editing your school's information!

Verify your email address

Thanks! We just sent you an email – please click on the link in the email to post your answers.

Follow this school

Get timely updates for , including performance data and recently posted user reviews.

Email address

Please enter a valid email address.

Confirm email address

Emails do not match.

Sign me up for weekly grade-by-grade tips and special offers in my area. Choose grades »