This Loughborough Uni student took me home one night. Anyway, she wanted sex, where as Iíd had 10 or so pints and wanted sleep. In frustration she grabbed and shook my penis shouting ďfuck me S******** you bastardĒ (Jesus, I told her my real name, I never do that). I slurred ďIn the morningĒ as a reply.Come the morning I made her drive me to work.....sans sex. Well, she wasnít ging-herr, Philipa or the rotund one.

I reckon Jimmy is referring to the 'half-mast' nature of yer strides in relation to yer footwear Test. †

Trousers ride up the legs when one sits, hence why mo favours his whorish dress:

Just a quick disinterest story from earlier this week:

Woman enquired about me doing some PC work for her and asked what I charged. When told, she wondered if there was a discount for sex. No, was my reply. She was rotund, but unfortunately not THE rotund one.