Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about our house, our pasts and where we are today.

And then after being around some grown people who have not been able to get past what their past is and have firmly rooted their identity in it - even going as far as justifying behaviors of today beause of their past - I came to a conclusion:

We can either choose to be DEFINED by our past and let it dictate our identity and behaviors.

Or we can choose to be REFINED by our past, invite God into our present and choose to leverage our refined selves for His glory.

And here in this house - we are all choosing to be refined by what WAS and leverage it for what CAN BE.

See - here - in this camp - there's LOTS of history. I don't have to share my kids' stories (which aren't mine to share) for you to know they have overcome some stuff. Some hard, HARD stuff.

This girl here - our strong leader Meron - she is choosing refinement instead of a definition by her past.

An orphan spirit? Not around here people. We have worked VERY VERY HARD to defeat it - to crumble it - to break it down and toss it to the side.

Because that is NOT who she is.

And then there's our strong, silent prayer warrior - Mebski Love.

Orphan? Not any more folks. She is choosing to be refined. Go ahead... ask her about what she is focusing on in her life. She is leveraging who God made her to be for His glory.

So don't come around her with an attitude of "I get it - your behavior is because you were such and such..." - because that simply isn't who she is. Mebrate has overcome a lot in her life - more than most. But that's just it... she OVERCAME it.

And we don't accept that in this house anyways. We love and cherish and respect our pasts - but they are NOT what we are today - we are present, we are His and we wanna reflect that.

Mebbie does it with the best of them!

And then there is this little dude. Z-Dogg. He has tackled more things head on than most humans will in a lifetime. And he's only two and a half.

And while he can't grasp it yet or put it in words - he has two incredible models that he looks up to every single day and it's his goal to follow them in life. Their choice of refining instead of defining will ultimately weigh in to his choice - and our prayer is he goes that exact same route.

Because he is not all of the million things you could say he is because of his rough start.

Nope... he is Zechariah - redeemed child of God built to do good work to bring Him glory.

I pray that over him almost daily. My silent prayer is that our prayers align so tightly with God's will that they will quickly and repeatedly come to fruition.

But it doesn't stop there... not around here.

This leader - this incredible model of love and patience and caring - she has a past too. Because we all do.

What do you think she is choosing? Why do yo think it's so easy for her kids to choose to be refined and not defined?

Yep - you got it.

Because their mommy - who they adore and want to be exactly like - has chosen to boldly say - "Any junk from my past - that is NOT who I am today. It may have refined me - but it surely won't define me."

And she does it beautifully and with grace and humility. And I am already seeing it being impressed upon her tribe of goofballs...

And well - that leaves me. Probably the chief of all sinners - chief of all messy pasts.

Disregardng God for 30+ years, allowing past to dictate just about every action I made... but then...

JESUS.

A new identity was found - and I believed it. And as I look back now - I simply refuse to allow my past to define me. Nope. Not now. Not ever.

I'll take the refining that it did and pray that God can leverage who I am now for His kingdom, for His people, for His work. And for HIS glory.

Camp Hoffman - I know our dinner table discussion was deeper than usual tonight - and I know we'll fail, we'll fall and we'll be tempted to blame things in the rear-view mirror.

But I have faith in us as a team... that we are going to show the world that pasts are just that... PAST.

And we don't live there.

Instead - we live here - as a bunch of refined, redeemed misfits just trying to shine His light...

Friday, June 20, 2014

Daddy knows how hard it is living in the shadow of a big sister like Meron. Noise and attention just follow her. And I know you look up to her and have a heart that is so selfless and giving that you thrust her out in the limelight... ALL. THE. TIME.

But I want you to know that your Daddy SEES you over there girl.

And I want you to know how much your big sister loves her little sister. Tonight while you guys were doing your "show" for us I heard Meron say to you "Go ahead Mebbie - make some stuff up!" and your response was:

"No Meron - I just want to copy you!"

As you pushed her back out to front and center. I know how much you love her and want to imitate her and be like her.

But I also want you to know... that I see you.

I see you growing like a weed!

I see you losing teeth and looking adorable.

I see the gift God gave you to be creative coming out in your pictures and your great illustrations.

I see you loving your little brother every single day and helping him grow and learn.

I see you swimming and learning and getting ready for kindergarten.

I see you overcoming so many of the challenges you were confronted with when you first came home.

I see you loving your family with your whole, entire heart.

But most of all, sweetie - I see God in you. I see Him molding and shaping your heart, your values, your morals, your mind and your spirit.

I see it in your daily life.

I hear it when you pray such deep, heartfelt prayers for your entire family.

I see Him every single day in you, sweetheart. And I love it.

From one middle child to another - I just want you to know that you are seen. You are loved. You are adored.

Daddy knows that shadow is big girl... but the way you keep shining in it - at times I forget it's even there.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Meron can be a daddy's girl at times - theres no doubt about it. If daddy likes it and does it - Meron wants to do the same...

Well - I like to write.

And I think Meron may be testing those waters out too!

Today when I got home - she was quick to want to show me her new "book" she had written. It was called "Peech the jiyint pupcin" or "Peach The Giant Pumpkin" for those of you who don't read meronese.

The cover looked like this:

And the inside page looked like this:

The story goes like this:

Here's a little story I like to call "Peach the Giant Pumpkin."

One day peach met a pumpkin. He seemed weird to peach because he looked different. Then one day peach found out he wasn't weird.

The end.

She also knocked out a masthead type of page:

It read:"The author is Meron. The illustrator is Meron."

Outside of "everything"- you know what is awesome about this?

The content. Differences in characters. Recognizing differences as "not weird."

I've been praying about this kind of stuff for a LONG time for her. Silently - never spoken to her - but to God - and asking Him to prep her heart for her future - to give her insight and discernment and discretion.

What some might see as a silly story about a giant pumpkin named "peach" - I see as God working on her heart. And I am thankful.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Brighton officially brought me in to the position... and taught me what it means to love. To really, really love.

Meron forced me to my knees to pray and pray and pray about doing this right in His eyes. And she continues to teach me daily about what it means to live life to its fullest while being BOLD in our faith...

Mebrate helped me put in to practice some of the stuff I had been praying about. And she shows me almost daily what it looks like to be tuned in to the Holy Spirit and to yield to Him...

Zechariah helped me put others before myself and to really, truly sacrifice to bring Him glory. He also teaches me what perseverance looks like as he walks around a redeemed little dude every single day.

They all brought me through different places in life...

But together...

Together they made me a daddy.

I don't deserve this God. I simply do not.

But I am forever grateful for it and I pray and hope that I bring You and You alone glory in the way I do it...