DON’T Be Our Guest: The SATURDAY SIX Looks at Disney’s Most Questionable Foods

This week’s SATURDAY SIXtakes a look at Disney’s Most Questionable Foods! We all have our favorite foods at Walt Disney World including the Kitchen Sink at Beaches & Cream; the bread service at Sanaa, and the new pineapple upside down cake at Aloha Isle, but what foods might we say “Nay nay” too? Today we’re going to take a look at some of the more next level bonkersunique food items that Disney has made over the years, and let’s kickoff the countdown with…

# 6 – Pop-Tart Sandwich

No, you are not seeing things. What you are looking at actually existed at the Everything Pop food court at Disney’s Pop Century Resort. The Pop-Tart Breakfast Sandwich featured egg, bacon, and cheese on a strawberry Pop-Tart. The egg was more of a hockey puck in an “edible” form. The cheese and bacon melted together in a way that reminded of us a scene straight out of the classic horror film The Fly. Maybe they used a Kraft single without removing the plastic wrap. We’d like to tell you how this tasted, but we did not dare eat it as the Pop-Tart sandwich was thrown straight back into the fiery pits of Hades from which it was created.

# 5 – Angus Pizza Burger

“I knew I shouldn’t do it, I really did. Everything told me that I was making a mistake, but I ordered it anyway.” – Tom Bricker

Hard to believe that Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe once served a burger so awful that even Planet Hollywood’s own Guy Fieri would have dialed it back a notch, but it’s true. Today the Pizza Burger is spoken about in hushed tones by theme park bloggers, and only by the brave few who dared eat this culinary monstrosity. A seemingly normal burger was slathered with an onion-rich salsa-like red sauce, you know like all pizzas have (this is where I would put a “winky face” emoticon or a “vomit” emoticon.) On top of that laid a slab of ham, some sort of melted cheese, and a solitary mushroom. It tasted about as good as it sounds, and thankfully Sonny Eclipse took the burger back to his home planet and buried the recipe to save mankind.

We should give props for Universal trying to outdo this insanity with the Pizza Dog, although in their defense that was a specialty food for Halloween Horror Nights: a place where guests want to be terrified.

# 4 – Chips and Sith

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

While we all prepare for the upcoming Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, and wonder what Disney is going to bring to the table in terms of themed food and drink, let’s return back to Star Wars Weekends. Rebel Hangar: A Star Wars Lounge Experience was an overlay to Backlot Express. Inside the Hangar was a whole bunch of neat – even if completely random – Star Wars elements including awesome propaganda-style posters done for The Empire. The backstory to the Rebel Hangar was that it included discarded remnants from over a hundred planets, so it was essentially a Star Wars Outlet Store.

The “highlight” to the Rebel Hangar was the food. The entire menu was themed to Star Wars and ranged from the ridiculous to the sublime. Filled with puns (including The Dark Fried, a variation on chicken and waffles) and some nonsensical items (such as Ensalada Naboo,) the menu from top to bottom seemed to come from a Robot Chicken skit. Universal and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter went one way with Butterbeer and Chocolate Frogs, immersing guests into the film world they loved; Rebel Hangar went in a completely different direction with a bonkers looking Chips and Sith and the disgustingly named Dagobah Swamp Juice.

Chips and Sith on the menu. (photo by @Blog_Mickey)Chips and Sith. (photo by @vinniep27)Chips and Sith. (photo by @Blog_Mickey)Yoda Key Lime Cake. Where is Obi-Wan Kenobi to wave his arm and say “This is not the dessert you are looking for.” (photo by @kyzman)

# 3 – Idaho Dog

There are some things that – even seeing with your own eyes – are hard to believe are true. Case in point, the Idaho Dog. Part of a line of gourmet hotdogs that were available at the Grand Floridian, the Idaho dog was served inside a baked potato (in lieu of a bun) and was topped with shredded cheddar cheese, bacon bits, chives, and sour cream. Ever wonder why you never heard of someone putting sour cream on their hot dog before? One bite of the Idaho Dog and you’ll know why.

The Idaho Dog. (photo by Brian Carey)

The Gasparilla Grill featured a different gourmet hot dog each day of the week. These included the Seattle Dog (topped with jalapenos, Sriracha, cabbage and sour cream,) Kansas City Dog (slices of Swiss cheese and sauerkraut,) Memphis Dog (bacon, barbecue sauce, scallions and shredded cheese), and more traditional dogs themed to New York and Chicago.

However, Sunday brought what we thought might be the absolute best of the bunch. The Cleveland Dog. Topped with coleslaw, hot sauce, and french fries (which seems like more of a Pittsburgh thing) the Cleveland dog in theory should have tasted incredible. However, for us the fries were cold, there wasn’t much hot sauce, and the coleslaw just wasn’t tasty enough. We contacted Joe Matt of Parkscope, a native Ohioan for his thoughts: “I have no idea what their point was because it’s more of a thing from the Grease Trucks from Rutgers than Cleveland. Plus if it was actually supposed to represent Cleveland it should tie into a corn beef sandwich or something.”

# 2 – Poop Snacks

While Animal Kingdom celebrates its anniversary every year on Earth Day, the short-lived poop snacks it offered should have made their debut on April Fool’s Day. You read that right. Poop snacks. The Match The Species snacks featured food designed to look like Elephant, Hippo, Giraffe, and Cotton Top Tamarin poop. You have to give credit where credit is due, that’s a unique presentation.

# 1 – All-Star Chart Topper

Just a couple weeks ago, Disney dropped a bombshell on Twitter. It announced the debut of the All-Star Chart Topper, a sandwich that appeared to be created by Dagwood Bumstead himself. Available at the food court in All-Star Movies, this is the rare Disney food item that is shrouded in mystery. First question is the ingredients. They are not listed on the menu but after consuming we have surmised that in-between the large cheddar garlic biscuit buns are: sausage gravy, cheese, egg, sausage, bacon, fried chicken, and tater tots.

All-Star Chart Topper. (photo by Brian Carey)

However, an even bigger question is the presentation. Disney advertises (threatens?) that “only” 45 of these sandwiches will be made a day. Now, anyone who has been in any of the food courts at the All-Star Resorts know they range from “busy” to “Pandora at rope drop busy.” When we went to try out the Chart Topper, as usual every single station had a large line…except for the station selling the Chart Topper. Even more bizarre was that there was a whole production for the station selling the Chart Topper, including an actual RED CARPET, like guests were on the way to The Oscars. Despite the glitz and glamour, we are not sure they sold 45 of these in a week, let alone a single day.

Chart Topper menu board. (photo by Brian Carey)

Honorable Mention – Burger on a Cinnamon Roll

We’d be remiss without mentioning another item that has to be mentioned, and it comes from the “secret menu” at the All-Stars. The Cinnamon Roll Burger was definitely something that should have remained a secret.

(photo by @baztastic77)

So there you have it: Six QUESTIONABLE Disney Foods!See you next weekend for the latest installment of the SATURDAY SIX, where we’ll look at something fun from the world of Disney and Universal. If you enjoyed yourself, be sure to check out The Magic, The Memories, and Merch! articles, or, for your listening pleasure, check out the E-Ticket Report podcast. You can also follow Your Humble Author on Twitter (@derekburgan).

16 thoughts on “DON’T Be Our Guest: The SATURDAY SIX Looks at Disney’s Most Questionable Foods”

Even though I’ve lived on Rutger’s Grease Trucks during my five or six years as an undergrad, I have a “rule of thumb” to never try a new food until a Disney Blogger has posted a review, so that claims of “I got food poisoning” have been revealed. There does tend to be a time lag with some of those 4,000 word posts taking weeks to hit the internet, but I find it best to let the Disney Bloggers “rope drop” that new food item since the former are expendable.

Notes on the Cleveland Dog: This, at least in theory, is authentic. Some Cleveland Delis (I see you Coventry Deli; RIP) offered or offer a “Polish Boy,” which is similar to the above Cleveland Dog. It is more of a sausage with very thick casing (I’m not sure what type of sausage, definitely not Italian), slathered hot sauce (don’t know the type but definitely not tabasco), french fries, and coleslaw in a grandiose bun (I can’t recall what type of bun it is). I first tried it at the Coventry Deli when I moved here for college and quickly fell in love. These were big-boy-pants sandwiches, you had to really be able to eat to finish one. I remember working with a guy whose claim to fame was he ate 4 in 20 minutes (this was documented by many eyewitnesses, not just food-lore). His strategy was “you have to sneak up on your stomach.” These sandwiches were great and best-enjoyed after a night at the bars. I’m out of the late-night-deli run game so I don’t know if they are still popular in Cleveland or not.

Hey Duke, to me it’s weird because I’ve seen the Polish Boy on one menu, Michael Symon’s Mabel’s BBQ on East 4th. For the staple item from a city I just don’t see it enough. Compare this to other Cleveland items (paczki, pierogi though that’s more Pitt, corned beef, etc) I see way more often. Also helps I was editing this on a Friday after a few drinks. 😉

Yea I wasn’t making an argument that it should be the staple item of the city. All of the items you mention are much more widely-known as “Cleveland” than the Polish Boy. I was making note that the Cleveland Dog, as referenced in the article, does fact have an authentic Cleveland tie-in.
Yea, if they sold a Slyman’s Corned Beef Dog I’d get in line no doubt.

I don’t have a thing against the Value resorts, but I don’t understand why sometimes it seems like they use Value guest as guinea pigs for the worst food imaginable. Our 2013 stay at Pop was a week of the worst resort food we ever ate at Disney on either coast. Our next stay at Coronado, a Moderate, left us dreaming about some of the food there long after we got home. I know shortly after our stay they completely overhauled the menu at Pop. But we’ve never been brave enough to stay at a Value again after that week of food.

It’s a bummer that Disney’s version of the Seattle Dog sounds gross. In reality, most the hot dog vendors near the stadiums and several other locations will all prepare for you a pretty tasty dog with a hot dog, grilled onions, and cream cheese on a bun. Obviously you can add any number of hot dog type toppings but it’s pretty good and compared to the version described above I suspect it would have a much broader audience as well.