“Side-part Under”

“Oh, so you’re a side part under?” (Patient)“Excuse me?” (Melanie)“You know how we black women do. We part our hair on the side then curl it under. Been clinging to it since the hotcomb was invented. It’s safe and reliable. And no one is ever going to comment on it. It screams ‘Oh please, don’t look at me. I’m too scared to change my hairstyle let alone live.” (Patient)

In one of my recent Netflix binge watching moments (pretty sure this was right before or during finals too shame on me), I decided to re-watch The Game and this moment in Season 3, Episode 8 really stuck out to me because it described a way of living that I myself, as well as, others I have observed around me have succumbed to. You know what I’m talking about… Living scared. Being afraid to take a leap. Hoping that people don’t notice you or ask things of you or recognize your greatness because maybe then you’ll actually have to be great? Sitting in your complacency even though you and I both know that you(I) can do more. And, I mean, I get it. Doing the safe thing is easy. Doing the safe thing is sometimes even a little fun. But doing the challenging things or the scary things – the things you want to try deep down inside- like cutting all your hair off or quitting your job to travel all around the world, those are the things that life is all about. Those are the things you’ll remember.

Melanie of course scoffs at the idea that she is a “side-part under,” remarking that she’s slept with 4 guys in one year. (WOOHOO YOU GO GIRL! lol). But, of course that’s not what being a “side-part under” is all about it, which Melanie’s patient quickly explains to her. “It’s more than just sex. It’s an attitude. It’s a way of life.” The patient then goes on to outline ways in which she stopped being a “side-part under” in her life and challenges Melanie to do the same by asking, “What do you want to do?” And y’all know me, I’ve got to ask you the same thing.

What do you want to do? (Better yet, why aren’t you doing it?)

If you don’t know what you want, take some time for yourself to figure that out. Take time to figure out what YOU truly want because it is your life – not your mothers, partners, sisters, or friends. If you do know what you want, then why are you not manifesting it? Maybe you are afraid. Maybe you don’t think you’ll be any good at it. Maybe it’s farther out of your comfort zone than you’ve ever gone before. Guess what? All of that is okay. Acknowledge your feelings and do it anyway. Plan your work and work your plan or don’t plan at all and just see what happens (not my personal style but that’s fine too!)

“Being a black woman right now is like being a part of some super exclusive, prestigious goddess organization…” We need you. We need all of us. The world is waiting for your gifts with baited breath. So, please get out there and claim your queendom. Because love, what your life looks like rests in the hands of no one but yours and the Lord.

“No more side-part under. No more being afraid to live.”

What do you want? Go after it, full force. You’ve only got this one life. You should do the things that scare you. You should do the things you truly want to do. You should do the things that make you feel alive. (Even if you continue to rock your hair side-part under style while doing it.)