Nostalgia Critic - Rock-A-Doodle

Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remeber it so you don't have to. *chuckles* Stop me if this sounds totally ridiculous. A singing rooster dresses up like Elvis...

Audience: STOP!

NC: Well, if you can't even make it that far, then you're going to have a real hard time sitting through one of Don Bluth's strangest creations - and that's saying a lot - Rock-A-Doodle.

NC (Voiceover): Director Don Bluth was by far one of the greatest animation gods who ever lived...in the 80's. In the 90's I think he left his brain at the FUBAR convention, because he turned out some very strange, very mediocre material. The good stuff seemed to end with All Dogs Go To Heaven, and the bad stuff seemed to begin with Rock-A-Doodle.

NC: (Voiceover): It's strange, it's nonsensical...it's kind of like a bedtime story if read by Andy Warhol.

NC: So, why is this movie such a mother-clucking mess? Take a look and decide for yourself.

NC (VO): The film begins in outer space as the narrator's voice comes in to fatally attempt to tell the story.

Narrator: Once upon a time...the sun came up. Imagine for a moment, instead of rising up like this, she took a look around and decided to go back to sleep. Let me tell you all about it.

NC: And let me warn you, I've been drinking extensively.

NC: WHOA! Okay, I think that zoom in was a little too extreme! I could practically see his digestive system.

NC (VO): So...as the movie begins, you kind of can't believe what you're watching. I mean, these look like cartoons from the thirties, where everything has a face, everyone seems to be bouncing and singing...

NC: What, did they make this movie for kids or something? (The Critic mulls over this for a second) ...Still no excuse.

NC (VO): So, I know what you're probably thinking...what current washed up singer did they rope in to do the voice of this personality-deprived character?

NC: I'm gonna say...Garth Brooks.

NC: Dammit, Glen Campbell! I was so close!

Chanticleer: Hi, Patou! What'cha doin'?

Patou: I'm tryin' to tie these doggone shoes!

Chanticleer: Huh, again?

NC: It's probably not best to tell you that this is the highlight of the movie, is it?

NC (VO): So all of the animals on the farm have their own special job to do, and the rooster's job is to crow so he can bring up the sun. What's the name of the rooster, you might be wondering?

NC: ...Okay, so they live on a very pretentious farm. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

NC (VO): But one day, Chanticleer forgets to crow, and yet, the sun still comes up! So the animals reject Chanticleer and toss him out of the farm...which makes things very happy for our villain simply known as the Grand Duke of Owls.

NC (VO): DAH! What the hell?!

NC (VO): Oh...o-kay. I guess the story was just a book that the mother was reading to her kid. Fair enough.

Patou (Narrating): His name is Edmund, 'course he didn't quite looks like this when I first met him.

NC (VO): Well, now wait a minute! Who's telling the story? The narrator or the mother? That's a really bad sign when you have two people fighting over who's narrating the movie!

NC Narrator 1: And so the little boy looked out from his window, and then he gathered that-

NC Narrator 2: And then another narrator stepped in to tell the story-