Personal Developmenthttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development
Wed, 19 Dec 2018 10:57:09 +0000Joomla! - Open Source Content Managementen-gbduncan@bigdreams.ca (Big Dreams)Letting Money Get In Your Wayhttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/137-letting-money-get-in-your-way
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/137-letting-money-get-in-your-wayThere is more than one way to let money block your success. You have to see it for what it is and overcome the roadblock.

No Money

The obvious example is that you have a dream to start some
business venture, or perhaps to buy your own home or that boat and go
sailing around the world. The one thing that is holding you back is
money, or in this case a lack of it. So, you either:

whine about how life is unfair

give up and move on to something else

use this as a chance to grow, and raise the money you need

or come up with another way to get there

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Not much fun in the first two. Nobody likes a whiner, and it still
leaves you blocked. If you quit, then you will set a precedent future
challenges. You will be seen as a quitter and that will not help you
with others who might have helped you and your dreams.

I prefer options 3 and 4 over options 1 and 2, since you do end up successfully achieving your
dreams. If you can find a way to raise money, then you are developing a
skill that can help you time and again to fund all your future dreams.
People like successful fund raisers or rainmakers, and you will be
popular. Perhaps you can then go on to the lecture circuit and sell
audio programs via infomercials - hehe just kidding.

I like option 4, because it is perhaps the most creative. If you think
about it, all the other options kind of accept that you NEED the money
to achieve your goals, and that you can't get there any other way. With
option 4, you take back the power and manifest a solution without all
the money you originally thought was needed.

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Comfort Zones

Another way money can block you, or stunt your growth, is that it can
provide a comfort zone that keeps you from achieving your potential. I
have fallen into this trap more than once. I was building a small
consulting business and I got lured into a well paying job with a
predictable steady paycheck. The job then later disappears such as when
the company closes its doors, and then I am left with no job and no
business.

There is little security in working for a company these days. This may
sound hugely negative, but you have no control over your future as an
employee. Even if you do a great job and bring in profits for the
company. Here are some ways the rug can be pulled out from underneath
you.

Although the company promised jobs for life, and you work long hours doing the best job you can,
they sell off the division to a competitor. The competitor shuts the
division down and lays everyone off.

Mismanagement and allegations of fraud causes the company to go bankrupt.

The company you work for is so successful due to your efforts, that it
is bought out by another company. They have no idea how to manage
things and within a year give up and close things down.

You work in a division of a larger parent that is losing money. The
division is expected to generate more revenue than is possible, and so
the parent shuts it down.

The parent company moves a division, and all the jobs overseas. Often
it is either Bangalore or Shanghai. Either way you are out.

The market demand for the products your employer makes suddenly goes
away. Rather than come up with a new product for a new market, they
close up.

In a privately held company, you work hard to build a successful
department that makes the company money. The owner's son likes what you
did and the next day he is given the department to run. If you are
lucky you get severance.

You manage a sales territory and become too profitable, so the company
divides your territory in half. The good half is given to your rival.

You get the idea? There is more risk these days working in a regular
job. I used to do both contract and permanent jobs. To me, permanent
means it is a 1-2 year contract, at a lower rate than regular contract
work. A regular salary/paycheck doesn't mean anything, since it can be
gone in an instant. Yet many people hang on to it.

It is not so doom and gloom. There are opportunities all around. But
don't let the promise of a paycheck keep you from going after your
dreams

Duncan

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]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentThu, 18 Sep 2008 16:31:35 +0000Super Villanshttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/134-super-villans
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/134-super-villansA few years back, my car got stolen. In the trunk were all sorts of goal setting books and audio programs that I used in my coaching business. I wondered what would happen if the criminal(s) who stole my car actually read those books.

I imagined some kind of super criminal, with a good self-esteem and a positive can-do attitude. Contained within those books were the secrets of goal setting and motivational techniques that could potentially make anyone successful. They would set and achieve their criminal goals, and steadily achieve more and more out of life.

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Perhaps in some underworld, they would rise to become leaders. They might build up entire criminal organizations, based on all the lessons learned from the books in the trunk of my car.

I was really worried, that I could have created some kind of Frankenstein's monster of criminal, and unleashed it upon the world. Perhaps years from now they would stand up in front of their organization and proclaim that they owed their success all to me (yes I even put my business card in some of the books). Perhaps they would be inspired to write their own books, such as "Seven habits of highly successful Criminals", "The One Minute Mobster", or perhaps "Steal And Grow Rich". It was scary stuff.

Within a few days the car was recovered, and all the books were still in the trunk, and apparently unread by the criminals. The crooks were never caught, so I did not get to find out if my nightmare had come true. It was kind of like the end of those horror movies where there is a slim possibility that the creature did not in fact die and may return again, perhaps in a sequel. So far the crime rate in my area has not gone up significantly, so I can breathe easy for now. But who knows what could happen next.

]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentTue, 12 Feb 2008 18:55:55 +0000Mind Map Softwarehttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/133-mind-map-software
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/133-mind-map-softwareHappy 2008! With the new year a lot of people turn to reviewing their goals. I was recently doing the same, and I like to [[mind map]] mine. I looked at various software to use on my mac to create and edit mind maps, and thought I would share some with you.

Mind mapping software has come a long way since I last looked into it. Overall I was impressed with the direction and progress this sector has taken. I am a visual person and I like to plan visually, using various approaches.

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Starting with the free software, there is FreeMind. This is written in Java. I did not play with this too much though.

I downloaded an evaluation copy of MindManager, which has both mac and pc versions.

Next, I tried out NovaMind Pro, which has some interesting animations. It also interfaces with Merlin, their project planning software. I could see how that could be useful.

Of course, after that I looked at XMIND 2008, which is good, with just a few concerns about stability and some minor issues with printing. Their tech support was very friendly.

I also tried out iMindMap, by Tony Buzan, the inventor of mind mapping. It had some interesting curvy branches I liked.

Out of the last four, I liked XMIND the best, but it had some issues to be resolved before I would be ready to purchase. So I looked at my next option.

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I already owned a copy of OmniGraffle, and for a modest fee I was able to upgrade to the newest version. This is more a general drawing program, that can also do mind maps and org charts. You can open a drawer to the side of the main window and enter in outline view while it builds the chart in the main window. After that you can tweak it some more.

Then just recently, I came across Flying Logic. This is not quite mind mapping, but it is worth a look. You can map out the logic of something and do what-if experiments and see the results. I tried mapping out some processes and brainstorming some ideas in it.

]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentFri, 04 Jan 2008 12:04:49 +0000Blame Avoidance & Redirection Techniqueshttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/128-blame-avoidance-a-redirection-techniques
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/128-blame-avoidance-a-redirection-techniquesOn your way up the ladder of success, you will encounter situations where things don't always go well. Most people think in a cause and effect mindset, which goes along the lines "if something went wrong, then someone is to blame..."

Blame

Blame is like poop, the more that sticks to you, the more you will stink, and the less appealing you will be to others. What others think of you has a big impact on your success at working with others.
To many people, you are guilty until proven innocent. To be blamed for something is a stigma that will haunt you for a long time. For example [[O. J. Simpson]] was blamed for murder and although he was not convicted, he is presumed guilty. Or if that example does not work for you, please consider the story of Lindy Chamberlain who lost her child to a dingo, but was falsely accused of murder.

No matter how many years you spend doing good, and it is like a clean white shirt. When some blame sticks to you, that shirt is no longer clean, it will never be the same again.

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Enter BART

BART - or Blame Avoidance & Redirection Techniques, is what you need. Imagine yourself as [[teflon]], and nothing sticks to you. Or imagine you are a kung fu master and people are throwing spears at you as you deftly avoid them all. At this point a healthy dose of paranoia is good, since in many cases they are out to get you. If they can't pin you for something it often comes back to them, so they are earnestly going after you.

Excuses

Make good use of excuses. Have a look here for some ideas. Do not wait until the fecal matter hits the fan to look for an umbrella, have an alibi prepared in advance, and perhaps a backup one too. Be careful not to be seen as always giving excuses. If you overdo it, then it can be seen as a weakness. Try to appear to be part of the solution, rather than the problem.

Some of my favorites are external events, beyond anyone's control, such as the weather, the foreign exchange rates, the economy. They are faceless and you can't cross examine them to find a flaw in the argument.

Redirection

If all you do is try to dodge the blame, it is like wearing a wedding dress, and playing catch with water balloons filled with grape juice. The balloons will keep bouncing around until one bursts and then someone is going to get messy. It could very easily be you.

You want to make sure that blame goes elsewhere, and that it stays there. Anywhere away from you is good. To be really effective, that has to be planned in advance.

Committees

These are good for speading blame around when things don't go well. They can be called task forces, action groups, steering committees, etc. It is hard to pin the blame on an individual, especially if you take care not have you name on any action items. Action items are like grenades in the hands of a four year old. If at a later date, something big goes down, then someone can say that you were responsible for that action item, and it is like you have the grenade in your hand after throwing away the pin.

Scapegoats

When someone has to take a fall, you need to make sure it is not you. When the grenade goes off, you have to have someone to dive on top of it for the sake of the greater good. If they don't jump, be prepared to give a subtle push at just the right moment.

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You need to set up your scapegoats in advance. You do this in the background, as covertly as possible. Have more than one, in case the first one finds an alibi, then the second one comes into play. If possible, try to use someone who does not report directly to you, or some of the blame might still rub off on you as their supervisor.

A good choice is people who are not there, such as:

Your predecessor

Someone who is on leave

Someone who died recently

Duncan

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this diversion from my usual topics. I picked the acronym BART, since it reminds me of a time [[Bart Simpson]] got caught doing something, and he yelled "I didn't do it!"]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentTue, 31 Jul 2007 17:32:03 +0000Weight Losshttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/127-weight-loss3
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/127-weight-loss3It is mid-July, and it has been raining now for 7 days in a row (which I learned was a new record for this area). I have written before on my efforts to lose some weight. At one point, it was coming down quite steadily. That was a year or two ago. Since then I got distracted, and it leveled off.

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In my last visit to the doctor, he indicated that my cholesterol is up, and I have to lose more weight too. You can be off course for a while, and hope to get back on track before you run out of time, but eventually you have to do something or you will face the consequences. Time is that finite resource that you can never get back. I don't feel I can wait any longer.

Make Time

I like to exercise, and so we go walking and cycling and kayaking often. I find that weekdays it can be too easy to get your time booked up with meetings and events. One of the key learnings I got long ago is to put in the big rocks first.

Put
In The Big Rocks First!

In "First
Things First," Stephen Covey tells a story that one of his associates
heard at a seminar. The seminar presenter pulled out a wide-mouth gallon
jar and placed it next to a pile of fist-sized rocks. After filling the
jar to the top with rocks, he asked, "Is the jar full?"

The group
replied, "Yes."

He then
got some gravel from under the table and added it to the jar. The speaker
jiggled the jar until the gravel filled the spaces between the rocks.
Again, he asked, "Is the jar full?"

This time,
the group replied, "Probably not."

The speaker
then added some sand and asked, "Is the jar full?"

"No!"
shouted the group.

Finally,
the speaker filled the jar to the brim with water and asked the group
the point of this illustration.

Someone
replied that you could always fit more things into your life if "you
really work at it."

"No,"
countered the speaker. The point is, if you don't put the big rocks in
first, " . . . would you ever have gotten any of them in?"

If you want to make your health a priority, you have to schedule it in your calendar first, and then any left over time is for the other things. What happens usually is that exercise is scheduled last, and by then there is no room left.

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Diet

Of course exercise is not the only key to weight loss. You have to adjust your diet too. I like to think I eat fairly healthy, but there is room for further improvement.

Milk

For the longest time I have drunk homogenized milk. It says on the container, 3.25% fat. So I always wonder why switch to 1% or 2% milk, if you are only talking about a change of 1.25% or 2.25% fat? It seems so little that the benefits would be infinitesimal. Also I like to make foamy latte coffees, and I thought that you needed the full milk to hold the foam structure.

Anyways, this last weekend, we switched to skim milk, which I read was zero fat. I was able to make a decent foam for my lattes, which is most of my milk consumption. I have yet to try it on anything else.

Looking Forwards

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I have to work on my weight loss. I have until October when I see the doctor again. I want to surprise him. I don't want to end up on various medications, and suffer some coronary. I have too much to live for. I know it can be done. My sister was worse off, and she has been hugely (excuse the pun) successful with her own weight loss program. Her results are an inspiration to me and I have a lot of appreciation for her determination.

Please add your comments below.

Duncan

]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentTue, 24 Jul 2007 13:59:17 +0000Clarityhttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/126-clarity
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/126-clarityClarity is important. You can be smart and know so much, but you need to be able to communicate your thoughts and ideas to others. If you don't have clarity, it is like a beautiful picture that noone can see. You might as well not have no picture at all.

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I spent about 15 years as an active member of Toastmasters, so perhaps I can be a bit more critical when I see a poor presentation. I sat through one recently, and it was so bad, that it inspired me to write this. I started to make notes while the person was talking. What made things worse was the person was quite senior, and by now in their career they should have better presentation skills.

Embarrassing

It is embarrassing to have such a poorly communicated message. People judge you based on your message as they receive it. If it makes no sense, if it is muddled and confusing, people will discount you and all your contributions. You lose credibility. If you are a leader, you need to be able to clearly communicate your message to others. If you can't communicate, then your people will be clueless and effectively leaderless.

Good communication motivates people to action, and earns you respect.

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Focus On The Goal

The goal is put the audience first, what do they need to get out of your presentation? In teaching, you first define learning objectives. Then you design your program to achieve those objectives. Many poor presenters focus on the technical content, and they take you down a rabbit hole, up the garden path, and very soon everyone is lost. The content and the delivery are steps to achieve your goal. They are not the goal.

Tune In

Tune in to your audience. Presenting is not an ordeal to get through, but you have definite goals. You need to tell if you are achieving your goals, or if you are off course. Communication is not just one-way. Interact with the audience and then adapt as needed.

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Lighten Up

Have you ever been in a meeting where the presenter was so boring you were afraid you would fall asleep? Do you recall any of the information the presenter was trying to deliver? If you want to keep their attention, add some humor, and tie it to some point you are trying to make. It can enhance retention for the audience, and it wakes them up. Also, for longer sessions, try quizzes, break-out sessions, games, or anything else that makes the learning activity interesting.

The question implies my happiness is controlled by external sources. To answer the question constrains you to believing that other things or events can make you happy.

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If I say
some external thing or event can make me happy, then another thing or event could make me unhappy.
It brings to mind the saying "Live by the sword, die by the sword" or perhaps I could phrase it as "The external event giveth, and the external event taketh away." :)

Do I not have free will to be happy, regardless of the circumstances? Or am I a slave to however the wind blows and what it may bring each day?

I'd like to think I have some say in the matter. Between the event and the time where you react, you can take a time out and make a conscious decision to be happy regardless of what is going on around you. You can disconnect the trigger, and not automatically respond to a situation.

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Perhaps you have heard the expression "Animals react, people can think before acting." I would like to give us more credit than being mere animals.

Sure I agree that some events
give you reason to choose to be even more happy. There are many legitimate situations that should have a certain response.

Aristotle, believed that the pursuit of
happiness was the Highest Good. But, kind of like the acres of diamonds story,
you can choose to be happy rather than hunt for it elsewhere than where it
really is.

One of my favorite books on joy and happiness is Talking to Ducks. You might like it for further reading. What are your thought on this topic?

Duncan

]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentThu, 19 Apr 2007 12:48:55 +0000Who's On First?http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/121-whos-on-first
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/121-whos-on-firstPerhaps you are familiar with a famous baseball comedy act, known as [[Who's On First?]] by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. It highlights what I see as a communication breakdown between the two people involved.

We had a similar experience recently when we crossed the border into the USA from Canada.

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We were crossing the border, with my brother from England, and so we had to go inside and get him processed. The fun part was when they asked Pat about where we are going, and she explained that she has a cabin in Birch Bay. The conversation went something like this:

Border Patrol:

Do you own your cabin?

Pat:

We own it.

Border Patrol:

How often do you go down to the cabin?

Pat:

It depends on when we rent it.

Border Patrol:

You rent it? I thought you said you own it?

Pat:

I do.

Border Patrol:

So how often do you go down to the cabin?

Pat:

It depends on when we rent it

Border Patrol:

You rent it? But said you own it.

Pat:

I do own it.

Border Patrol:

How often do you go there?

Pat:

Several times a year but it depends when we rent it out.

Border Patrol:

Do you own it or rent it?

Pat:

I own it...

It went on like this for some time. I was standing to one side, cautious not to say anything, since they might think I am prompting her on what to say. Then it clicked that the single word "rent" had two different meanings to the two different people involved. To Pat, it meant to "rent out the property to a tenant". To the border patrol officer, they heard "to rent a property from as a tenant".

What is funny is that neither of them saw this, and so they kept on going, talking around in circles and probably getting more and more frustrated with the other person. I finally intervened and helped clarify things before someone blew a gasket.

Have you ever got stuck in an orbital dialogue like this? Often when you are in it, you fail to see that there is a communication issue and you keep on trying to press your point. Stephen Covey said "Seek first to understand." I think that is good advice, you need to take a step back and understand what is going on and allow for the fact that perhaps you also have a blind spot.

Duncan

]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentFri, 23 Mar 2007 16:22:45 +0000Set Clear Goalshttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/120-set-clear-goals
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/120-set-clear-goalsBe careful what you wish for, you may get just what you ask...

Not too long ago, I was working in a job that was less
than desirable. Things were not going my way. So I put a to-do item in
my PDA titled "Exit Plan".

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I knew I had to get out of there, and that was effectively the goal I had set. For months, I set about trying to find something else, so that I could switch. I mean, not everyone can do without an income, so I was looking for something else.

It should not have been any surprise then, that I did not manage to get another job. I ended up getting laid off, when they had a company re-organization. I looked at my goals and realized that I got exactly what I had asked for.

My goal included getting out of the job I was unhappy in, but it did not mention replacing that job with another. It did not mention getting a better job or more money, or any other things. The only item was to escape the place I was in. I succeeded.

I knew from listening to people like Wayne Dyer and others, that whatever you focus on expands, and whatever goals you set will be like a magnet to attract the reality to you. It is like when you find a lamp that has a genie inside that grants you anything you wish. The reality is that the genie does not want your happiness, but is trapped into granting wishes. They like to grant just what you asked, but somehow twist it in a way that you are not going to be happy with.

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When I saw my mistake, I set a new goal "Get a good job". Now I could be more detailed, and specify what "good" meant. I figured I knew what it meant and that was enough. Yes, I know about SMART goals, but this was good enough for me. I could focus on a good income, or interesting tasks to do, or a shorter commute etc. What I was looking for was more like a combination of several factors, and I could trade off some of one factor for another if it came to it.

So, about a week later, I was able to cross off that goal. It was like when I put down the goal, it turned on the faucet, and from the infinite universe flowed the reality that I wanted. I got the good job.

So, when you set goals, remember the genie. Be sure to ask for what you want, and not miss out some important detail.

Duncan

]]>duncans@alpine-training.bc.ca (Duncan)Personal DevelopmentSat, 10 Feb 2007 11:30:42 +0000Burst Pipes And Lightshttp://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/117-burst-pipes-and-lights
http://bigdreams.ca/sections/personal-development/117-burst-pipes-and-lightsThis weekend we returned to the cabin. There were a couple more burst pipes since last time, due to a second cold spell we had recently. Pat installed some new light fixtures, and I set up something that I hope will reduce the chance of burst pipes in the future.

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Preparation Meets Opportunity

Friday night we arrived around 9pm, and of course it did not take me long to realize that I had some more water leaks under the cabin. After our previous experience, we were well prepared and experienced.

There were two problems, one was a burst copper pipe, and the other was a compression joint that had come appart. Both types of problems we had dealt with before. Since last time I kept all the tools and some spare parts onsite, and after the second cold spell, I anticipated some repairs would be needed from time to time. I figured it was cheaper to keep supplies handy than to have to go looking for them each time.

It took me about a couple of hours to get everything working again, so that we had hot and cold water working again. Pat was tired, and let me finish on my own.

Installing New Lighting

The next morning, it was Pat's turn to shine. She installed two new light fixtures with minimal help from me. First we turned off all the power, so that there was no risk of electrocution. Then she took down the old fixtures, and installed the new ones according to the manufacturers installation instructions.

Above you can see a fixture in a bedroom. Note we are using compact florescent bulbs throughout these days. They are quite cheap now and they save on our electric bill.

On the left is a hanging light fixture that is in the kitchen. It was a bit dark in the kitchen, and now there is more light to see by.

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Reducing The Chance Of Burst Pipes

Finally, I installed an external light sensor that is used to turn on external lights at night time. I ran an extension cord from that, and under the cabin. Under the cabin, near most of the plumbing, I hung an inspection light with a 60 watt bulb. This should provide some heat which will keep the pipes from heating on cold nights in the future, and save me having to crawl under there.