I’m at the age where my friends are starting to have babies. My facebook is filled with pictures of babies. Cute babies. And extremely well-dressed babies. I often think back to when we 80’s babies were born. Let’s be real, we looked gross. Back then there wasn’t a style for kid’s clothing. It was just whatever was laying around. In these very modern times kids are now dressing better than adults. But I’ll tell you what–my kid is gonna look like crap, and they’re gonna like it.

All this fuss over kids looking perfect started to grow with the children of Hollywood. We pay more attention to them than the people in our families (at least I do). We are constantly studying what actors and actresses are wearing and what their kids look like. But hey, it’s fun to judge other people! Take it from little Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, one of the best fashion critics around. (I hope none of you think I’m actually referring to the real Suri Cruise because I don’t think she can spell her name yet, never mind judge people.)

Victoria Beckham’s son, Romeo, has been selected as the new face for Burberry. Don’t get me wrong, he can work a trench, but I feel like this is setting an unrealistic standard for other kids. How can they live up to a kid who was made with a gene pool built for gods and goddesses?

It seems that almost every designer brand now has a children’s line or a baby line. It’s frivolous and unnecessary because kids, especially babies, grow out of their clothes so quickly. Why bother? I won’t lie, seeing children dressed nicely for special occasions is sweet, but seeing them dolled up all the time makes me wonder what kind of perfect facade parents want to shelter their children under.

One of the best parts about being a kid is figuring out how to dress yourself and doing an absolutely terrible job at it. I remember getting a crocheted top that was meant to go over a tank top for Christmas one year when I was around 8 years old. I went to try it on upstairs and came down with no shirt underneath. You could clearly see my prepubescent nipples.

There was also nothing better than finding a staple outfit. And by staple outfit, I mean one that you can wear literally every day. I found my perfect outfit at Old Navy when I was 9. It was a denim dress with snap buttons going up the middle. I thought I looked like a classy broad in that dress. It was so comfortable and easy to throw on.

I had the same fashion sense as Dawn Wiener.

Also, if kids always look cute, they’ll never be embarrassed by old photos and videos which will cause their egos to inflate and we’ll have ourselves a world of narcissists. You see, there’s only room for one narcissist in this world and that’s me.