Top 10 Parenting Fails of 2011

Parenting’s a hard job, we admit. But take heart; no matter how much you’re struggling, you’re probably doing better than these sorry moms and dads making headlines this year. Read through our list, and then congratulate yourself for doing a pretty good job, all things considered.

Dr. Phil

Mom Uses Hot Sauce as Punishment

In one of the most stomach-churning pieces of video we’ve ever seen, Alaska mom Jessica Beagley was shown forcing hot sauce down her adopted son’s throat before forcing him into a cold shower as punishment for lying. She had her 10-year-old daughter tape her as part of an “Angry Moms” segment for Dr. Phil, after the producers egged her on, saying they needed to see her punishing her son—not just yelling at him, as she had in a previous video submission. After the segment aired, child abuse charges were brought against her, and she was ultimately convicted of child abuse.

You know that saying “telling tales out of school?” One 10-year-old girl shared her dad’s business (his illegal business) in school by accidentally bringing in his coke stash to Show & Tell. In fairness to her, it was hidden in a gummy bear bag and looked to her like candy. That must have been an interesting parent-teacher conference.

“And here’s little Paisley. She likes horses, cupcakes, and dressing like a streetwalker. Isn’t she adorable?” One Toddlers & Tiaras mom wanted her three-year-old daughter to stand out to the judges, so she dressed her in the minidress and thigh-high boots get-up from the beginning of Pretty Woman. Work it, own it…

Veer

Dad Throws Son Off Cruise Ship

We didn’t think anyone could make Hot Sauce Mom look good, but we were wrong. A California dad on a day cruise threw his crying 7-year-old son overboard to toughen him up. Although the drop was only five feet, the water was teeming with boat traffic, posing a serious risk for the boy, who was not a strong swimmer. The dad was arrested for child endangerment.

Drunk Woman Shoots Breast Milk at Cops

We are fully aware of the all the wonderful qualities of breast milk, but we did not know it could be used as a weapon as well. Ohio mom Stephanie Robinette whipped her breast out of her dress and started squirting police when they responded to a domestic dispute call. Not surprisingly, she was drunk. She apologized and promised to seek help for her alcohol abuse.

Veer

Mom Sues Preschool for Dashing Ivy League Dreams

New York mom Nicole Imprescia was so unimpressed with her 4-year-old daughter’s preschool, she yanked her out and sued the school for killing her daughter’s chances of getting into an Ivy League university. We get wanting her $19,000 back if she thinks the school didn’t deliver on its academic promises, but claiming her child’s college aspirations are doomed seems like too far of a leap.

iStockphoto

Girl Busts Mom for Drunk Driving

Driving drunk is awful. Driving drunk with your kid in the car is downright despicable. One smart little girl was so worried about her inebriated mom being behind the wheel that she slipped a note to a bank teller, asking her for help. The mom left her kid at the bank, but was soon arrested for DUI. The girl made it home safely with a ride home from Dad.

iStockphoto

Pregnant Mom: Smoking is Good for the Baby!

Yes, some women during pregnancy smoke during pregnancy, but they’re generally not proud of it. Then there’s British mom Charlie Wilcox, who insisted to the camera crew following her around for BBC3’s Misbehaving Mums to Be that she smoked because it makes her baby’s heart stronger. Can you show us the science on that one?