The Special Task Force, charged with solving the Tolloty Murder, apprehended a suspect late last night after a high-speed chase. We caught up with the CPD Spokesman, Cdr Kirkland, who was available for comment minutes after the incident. He told us, "We got our man!" and went on to say, "This has been an exhaustive investigation involving personnel from all over the city. It was a real team effort. The District Attorney has asked us to maintain confidentiality for the moment in regard to the identity of the suspect, who's known around here as Mr. X." Kirkland's spirits seemed high and so did the mood around the Precinct House. We even saw Mayor Steiness high-fiving the Chief!

CPD thought they had matters under control with regard to the Tolloty Murder. Turns out, this could not have been further from the truth. Our inside sources tell us that so much focus was put on the investigation that everything else got out of hand. Crime and gang activity rose to levels never seen before in the city. Department Spokesman Commander Kirkland was unavailable for comment. The District Attorney has resigned and rumor has it that the Chief could be next. Even the normally very up-beat Mayor Steiness refused to give any details about the situation, he simply said, "Don't be surprised if you see some big changes around here!"

Despite extra equipment and increased street patrols, a murderer slipped away from Puget Sound area investigators. Street patrols took down most gang activity, but lack of attention to simple traffic accidents left detectives unable to pursue, catch and arrest a killer.

A patrolman, found waving a brand new (but useless in an accident) shotgun at the scene of a street-blocking accident was quoted as saying, "Where's a cop when you need one?!?"

The Mayor commented, "Sure, a murderer got away, but what's important is that the Police Force had a great time pursuing him."

Mayor Locke today proclaimed Sears and Pierce heroes for bringing the Eastside Killer to justice. At a press conference this afternoon, Locke praised the veteran officers for a job well done. "I'm proud of Pierce, and young Ms. Sears, but it's obvious that my 'Tough On Crime' stance has inspired the entire department to implement innovative and effective investigative techniques. Thanks to my leadership, a killer is off the streets."

The Killer was apprehended quickly and without incident. When asked how solid he thought the case was, Pierce grunted, "Open and shut. We got the guy." Sears agreed, citing how sloppy the killer was. "He was an idiot. We found the murder weapon at the top of his garbage can. What a moron."

An unexpected lull in gang activity has been reported this month. The Mayor lost no time in taking credit. "Yep, that was me too. You little people are lucky an important man like me looks out for you."

The Crime Level in our city reached epic proportions today when Urgent Crimes and a runaway gang rivalry left the police department overwhelmed. At least one murderer got away as the city shut down in fear.

Citizens were terrified to leave their homes due to the presence of the 4th Street Sharks and the Colfax Avenue Jets running wild in the streets. Gang violence increased so much that even the doors to the Police Precinct were blocked, while a Bank Robbery ensued uninterrupted by officers only a few blocks away.

The single officer this reporter could find on the street was doing the best she could, but as she pointed out, "I've only got a few sets of handcuffs!" A pickpocket with a shotgun carried on his crimes in open view on the next corner.

Rumors that multiple detectives were loitering around the City Morgue for hours while the city descended into anarchy were waved away by Mayor Locke. "You're going to have to ask the Police commissioner about that. I don't comment on police matters." The mayor then shoved a supermodel into his limousine and sped out of town at a high rate of speed.

There was a time when we could walk down the street and feel safe, but not any more. When I walked to the bus stop today I saw a group of very unsavory people on the corner. At first, I thought I was over-reacting, but as I rode the bus across town to work it seemed like there were large groups of shady individuals on every street corner.

I guess it's no surprise. It took us twice as long to get to my stop as usual thanks to the surprising number of accidents in town today. The Police seemed to be entirely tied up with the accidents.

I think we need more traffic lights in the town, rather than the four-way stops we have now. Maybe, just maybe, it will help us all to drive a bit more carefully, and hopefully help the police focus on the hoodlums.