11.8.11

TO THE FACE

NO, NOT A CUM SHOT. BUT IF I DIED TOMORROW (TOUCH WOOD - NOT HIS) WHAT ADVICE WOULD I HAVE TO GIVE..

SAY NO TO NECK.

Once again, hickeys are a no in general but if you must (god, i get it, you're in the moment and it feels nice) just say no to neck! you aren't some horey chick who works at the fish and chip shop with a sweet 'bruise' on her neck. (loling at myself because once apon a time when i was a mere 16 i was face raped by a lovely fella who thought it a nice idea to seach for blood in my head holder. yep buddy, it's there, definitely a blood flow.. oh yep, just incase anyone else wanted to know THEY CAN SEE IT TOO. eughhhh CRINGE)

ALWAYS PUT THE CHILLI IN YOUR MI GORENG

for fucks sake, even if it's just half. and if you can't handle hot stuff. don't bother with it mi goreng at all, you're pitiful.

UGLY PHOTOS ARE FOR LOLS

if you joke about life and or your life in general. then no one has the right to laugh at you, they're just joining in. if i upload ugly photos of myself onto facebook (haha all da tymz) then, people can't diss me - it's like ha ha ha, i acknowledge that i can be hella ugz so let's have a lol. RATHER THAN you having edited as fuck photos of you lookin hella fine at all times (when lets be real, you pretty ugly after 5pm) and then! they see you in person and they're disappointed. imboycrazy says the opposite, ie don't have any ugly photos but she's hot in general and her ugly will be my ball photo.

ALWAYS BE READY

ready as in, yeaaaah ready, as in, wear nice underwear, sort the situation out, smell good in al the right places, neck, back of neck, pits, vag, legs. you want to be the good smelling girl when they hug you then they want to eat you all up. even if nothing happens (all you self respectin gals out there..) you'll still feel this thing that a lot of people lack.. confidence!

:)

Don't use smilie faces, ever, even if you're pet died or you've just been dumped, you will still look like a baby. can you not put into words how you feel? or do you just want to make what you're saying appear sexual ie. my dog just died ;) (woops, what would you do here, does this mean you want grief sex? does this even exist?).

MUSIC WILL AID YOU IN EVERYTHING

music is seriously the one thing that will always be there for you! fuck ya family, fuck ya friends! (not really this is a bit over the top) biggie will be there for all the parties and bullshit combined! i know it's frowned apon, but you need to have the following playlists in your itunes, or pod, or .. god forbid you're still hangin on to the greatness that is windows media player (hey, i've been there, you'll get through). sad - the songs that will make you feel more depressed than you already are and you can cry yourself to sleep listening to them, seriously who gives a shit. this music is for your self loathing sad nights when you hate life and boys and yourself. whyyyyyyy! happy - yeaaa! HAPPY MUSIC. AMP MUSIC, NAGGAR MUSIC AND FAVOURITES. there, you're done.

BOYS

will only make an effort if they want to make an effort. they're not patient enough to play games. so if they really genuinely want you they'll make it happen. this is a shitty thing to hear when they aren't making an effort. but it's better than expecting something to come from him being an absolute dick fuck with people saying he does it cos he likes you. if that's true then maybe he's just a little bit fucked fullstop. once you hit 25, nice boys will always come first and bad boys will be a distant memory. i think.

I..LIKE YOU

'love' has got to be one of the most overused words i have ever encountered. i'm guilty of over loving things! but not people! i don't tell people i love them unless i genuinely do! friends even! don't tell a new friend you love them because you don't (yes)! making the word special and rare means that when you do use it, people will see how much of a big deal it is.