17 September 2015

The decision

This week has consisted of much guilt.

Because while this decision is strictly professional and I harbor no ill feelings towards my coworkers or my boss (in fact I will honestly miss most of them and I value our relationships), the truth is, guilt is all that the leadership in this department has to rely on. A whole bunch of 'what ifs' and nothing concrete.

Simply because of the limitations imposed by the organization. In order to maintain consistency, sometimes the most valuable people can't be rewarded for their skills and efforts. And that's nothing personal. It's simply business.

While I am incredibly flattered and humbled by their efforts to make me stay, including recognition of my value, I can't bring myself to reverse my decision for something I can't rely on 100%.

If I make the wrong decision, I can kick myself. My gut is telling me it's okay to move forward with this, and I trust it.

So that is what this week has been like--internal struggle. Ultimately I have to consider what's good for me instead of what's good for everyone else.

Feels better to get this out after a week of being pulled in so many different directions.