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Smallville season three minicaps is back after a midseason “vacation” to Belle Reve.

Stewart here, and be warned of spoilers within…

Last time on Smallville: Clark wanted to help a probably crazy Lex out when he claimed someone was trying to kill him because of dirt dug up on Lionel. Well, that went real bad when Clark found out Lex really was crazy because of being drugged up by Lionel and crime boss Morgan Edge, and then Lex got shipped away to a padded cell in Belle Reve Sanitarium. Also during all of this, Lana had a near fatal attack caused offhand by Lex that convinces her that she should stay away from Clark. Really? A few near fatal deaths wasn’t enough, but her leg getting twisted in an unnatural way was the final straw, I guess. So how will Clark deal with Lex being locked up in the loony bin? Well, read on…

“Asylum”

Clark, being the good guy he his and knowing Lex was pushed to insanity by Edge and Lionel, tries to help Lex out of Belle Reve. While he’s there, he runs into some old friends, like Van from “Extinction”, Eric from “Leech”, and Ian from “Dichotic”. In case you can’t tell, they’re not so much wanting to catch up on old times as much as kill Clark. And while this is going on, Lana’s in rehab from her leg injury, and getting to know a fellow rehab patient, Adam.

–For the record, I only know the actor who plays Adam as Boone from Lost, so no, I don’t know who he is in The Vampire Diaries.

–Lionel wins by getting Lex’s brain electroshocked to the point he forgot the whole murder plan, but he gets pwned when he discovers he also wiped Lex’s memory of that pesky secret Clark keeps.

“Help! I’m being held down by two identical guys who aren’t as cut as me!”

–Oh, Van: you really shouldn’t have trusted those meteor freaks.

–Actually, this episode did answer one lingering question I had from “Dichotic”: Ian can grow an extra person, even if he loses one. Kind of like Madrox, the Multiple Man from the X-Men books.

–“Jeez, kid. You seem to know a lot of people in here.” And no one pieces together why that seems so weird?

“Whisper”

Clark’s string of bad luck continues when his attempt to stop a robbery ends with him being blinded. While he can’t see, his other senses are kicking into overdrive, which leads to him finding out about Chloe’s deal with Lionel. But he’s got bigger problems this episode, like the meteor freak that ended up blinding him taking Pete hostage to bust his accomplice out of court. Also, Clark wears glasses!

“Where’s Clark? Where’s our son? Just kidding, we totally knew it was you. What a bad disguise!”

–In this edition of Why Lana Shouldn’t Judge: she pushes Clark away after her leg injury, so she’s upset he would do the same after getting blinded, maybe permanently?

–Hey, we get to meet Pete’s mom, although its at the bad timing of her mentioning that whole “bad guy holding Pete hostage” deal.

–So Chloe decides to shutter her deal with Lionel after he thinks she’s been feeding Lex information about his tenuous position at LuthorCorp. Although, Lionel’s reaction to Lex figuring that out is to cancel Chloe’s column at the Daily Planet, let’s not forget Clark did reveal that to Lex, not Chloe. I’m just saying an apology may be in order, Clark.

–A special credit needs to be made about the sound design on this episode, with Clark’s extreme hearing.

–In what I call a “shenanigans” moment, Clark hitches a ride on the back of the tow truck…in the middle of town, with crowds everywhere! And no one tells the driver about the unwanted passenger on there?

“Delete”

Chloe’s had a bad time these days, with her dad being laid off and losing her Daily Planet column thanks to Lionel’s scheming. Now she has to be worried about everyone she knows trying to kill her, like the Kents and Lana. Surprisingly, Lionel is innocent of this, and the real person turning Chloe’s friends against her is a former patient of the Summerholt clinic who has an axe to grind with one of her stories in progress. Meanwhile, Lana lets Adam move into the loft above the Talon, and any decision Lana makes is always a good one, right?

–Lex wants to remember those weeks he lost due to Lionel’s electroshock solution, so he extorts Dr. Garner into helping him.

–Wait, Chloe and Lana only got suspended for their crazy fight to the death? Did the principal have an aneurysm? At the least, the both of them are facing time in an holding cell.

“Hereafter”

A new student, Jordan, comes with his own set of problems, like everyone he touches, he can see their deaths. Clark tries to help the troubled teen with his powers, and finds himself having to save Lana from being killed (to be fair, when isn’t Clark going to have to save Lana from getting killed in the immediate future?). Also, Lana and Chloe discovers Adam isn’t quite the guy they thought he was. And no, he’s not a vampire and not doomed to an ill-fated Oceanic flight. Even with all of that, there’s still the big shocker end to this episode and round of minicaps: Clark finds Jonathan in the middle of a heart attack!

One the more obsessive Whitney fans of Smallville deals with his loss the only sane way he can.

–It’s kind of nice and twisty that saving coach Altman from his predicted death ended up endangering Lana and her friend’s life when he tried to kill the both of them.

–So Lex is interested in Adam too, but more in the medical curiosity way.

–Once again, we go to the ol’ slow motion dropping of shattering objects to emphasize something bad has happened. Couldn’t you put that plate of cookies somewhere safe, Clark? Martha spent a while baking those.

NEXT TIME: Clark helps Pete out of some gambling debt in “Velocity”, a teleporting girl falls for Clark in “Obsession”, a hostage situation in a hospital could be fatal for Jonathan in “Resurrection”, and Clark receives a disturbing call from Lana…from the future in “Crisis”.