Well, the time is upon us. Kansas City’s Mike Moustakas has 35 home runs which means he is on the verge of finally, finally, finally, finally breaking the most absurd record in baseball today.

He — God willing — will soon break the Kansas City’s home run record of 36 … held by Steve Balboni for 32 years.

Yeah, that’s 36 homers for a WHOLE SEASON.

I went looking into the archives to find out how long I’ve been writing about this ludicrous record. It turns out I have been writing about it for twenty years.

Here’s a column I wrote in 1998 begging Dean Palmer — DEAN PALMER — to please just break this record already.

(It should be said that Palmer did hit 34 home runs that year, coming just about as close as anyone. The most home runs for the Royals since Balboni was actually Gary Gaetti in a shortened 1995 season. Gaetti, given the full season, undoubtedly would have broken the record. Then, if the Royals home run record was, say, 39, held by Gary Gaetti, I’m not sure that would be a significant improvement.

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February 28, 1998

BASEBALL CITY, Fla. – This is a pathetic record. It’s embarrassing, really. No Royals player has ever hit more than the puny 36 home runs Steve Balboni hit in 1985. Thirty-six home runs, that’s the team record. Geez, Mark McGwire will have that many by June.

(Editor’s note: This was actually a pretty good prediction — McGwire hit his 38th homer on July 11).

This is the year that record must go down. Dean Palmer is the man.Dean’s got power, no doubt about it,” Royals manager Tony Muser says. “He’s got real power. He’s got great bat speed. ”

Well, let’s hope so. It’s time somebody wiped this record off the books. It’s pitiful.There are guys out there, McGwire, Ken Griffey, Frank Thomas, who think of hitting 70 home runs, 80 home runs, they’re hitting buildings, smashing car windows, they’re scaring small children, there are people in baseball who want to change the rules, make the ball heavier, raise the mound, and meanwhile the Royals are still trying to break into the 40-home run club.

(Editor’s note: Notice no mention of Bonds here).

OK, in the old days you could understand. Kauffman Stadium, back when it was called Royals Stadium, used to be bigger than Idaho. They had great land races in there. President Carter declared it a state in 1977. John Mayberry, who could hit a baseball so hard it would actually hire an attorney, never hit more than 34 home runs in a season in that old cattle farm, and then he would complain to everybody.

“Every year, Mayberry wanted to move in those fences,” Frank White says. “He’d tell anyone who would listen. They were stealing home runs from him, all that. We all felt that way. … I had more than 400 doubles in my career. In another park, I’ll bet 70 of those would have been home runs.”

That’s fine. The Royals made up for it. Between 1975 and 1982, some Royals player led the American League in either doubles or triples every year but one. The Royals had 64 inside-the-park home runs in that old place. Wait, you want more stats, I’ve got the brand new media guide right here (Hey, did you know that Bob Oliver had six hits in a game in 1969?)

Point is, they’ve moved in the fences since then. They’ve lowered the fences. What’s the deal here?

Well, here’s the real secret. The Royals have not had any power for while. There’s your story. Stop the presses.The Royals leading home run hitters the last four years have been Bob Hamelin (cut), Gary Gaetti (ancient), Craig Paquette (who?) and Chili Davis (old enough to be Gaetti’s father).

Good hitters, but murderer’s row they ain’t (though recent film footage seems to show a player on that 1927 Yankees team who looks like Chili Davis).

(Editor’s note: Man, I wrote a lot of cheap one-liners back then. Of course, this was long before Twitter when you could unload all of your bad-dum-bump jokes and get them out of your system. I guess I was going for Shecky Greene vibe).

This time around, they do have the guy, Palmer, who hit 38 home runs with Texas two years ago hit a home run so far off Jeff Montgomery last year, that it actually changed Montgomery’s career.

“I watched that ball go about 20 rows into the bleachers, and I thought ‘Hey, I better make some adjustments here,’ ” Montgomery says.

Yes, it’s exciting and different to have an actual power hitter, a guy who in batting practice yanks pitches so hard the ball turns left in midair, who hits fly balls that jet stream out of the ballpark. The Royals have some other guys with decent pop, Jeff King, Jeff Conine, Jeff Goldblum, Jeff Gordon, all the Jeffs. But Palmer has more power and has a real shot at this thing.

Now, is it fair to ask a new guy to just come into Kansas City and break a sad team record for home runs? No, probably not. But this isn’t about fairness.This is about pride. Hey, if this record lasts much longer, they might just throw the Royals out of the American League.

(Editor’s note: This was when the Royals were considering moving to the National League. Topical!).

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Joe Posnanski writes about sports for a living, particularly baseball. Here, he writes about sports and also Springsteen, Hamilton, Harry Potter, iPads, infomercials, his idolization of Duane Kuiper, his family and magic. He lives in Charlotte with his wife Margo, two daughters Elizabeth and Katie, and their dog Westley. Joe is currently working on a book about Harry Houdini in today's world.

What’s the deal with the multiple “it’s the grass”, “it’s the water fountain” quotes? Are you trying to make me think I’m insane? Do I have a browser display issue? I guess I picked the wrong weekend to stop sniffing glue.

1975 John Mayberry, 23 road HR, 34 total HR, that does break the Royals HR record of 27 that was held by 1970 Bob Oliver
1989 Bo Jackson, 21 road HR, 32 total HR
2017 Mike Moustakas. 21+ road HR, 35+ total HR
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1997 Chili Davis, 21 home HR, 30 total HR
1998 Dean Palmer, 21 home HR, 34 total HR
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That’s all the seasons with 20+ HR by a Royal either on the road or at home.
Information provided by baseball-reference.com Play Index.

Both of the seasons with 20 home HR were in the era (1995-2003) when the fences were moved in 10 feet.

No opposing player has ever hit 20 home runs there in a career. The top 4 in home runs against the Royals (Arod,Thome,Konerko,Palmeiro) have a total of 185 HR against the Royals, but only 73 of those (39%) in KC, 112 elsewhere.

I was a high-school kid in Columbus when Steve Balboni was at AAA there, for three seasons. He was the perfect minor-league player. He was a circus act. I swear we had been hearing about his exploits in Class A and AA ball for years, so like Guffman, we couldn’t wait for his arrival. Unlike Guffman, he didn’t disappoint. BR says he hit 33, 32 and 27 homers in three seasons in Columbus, spanning about 1200 at-bats. He was three true outcomes before it was a thing, and we ate it up. He hit them high and far, or he whiffed mightily, or sometimes he walked (in truth, he was two-and-a-half outcomes). And since it was before three true outcomes was a thing, it meant we got him for three years.

The old Columbus stadium had a brick wall from its original configuration that was way beyond the left field fence – it was 457′ down the line. Supposedly Josh Gibson is the only player to have hit a ball over it. Balboni once hit one that was reputed to have gone out; no one could find the ball. It seems it got lodged in a tree that was planted between the fences; still, that’s pretty good company to be in.

Granted, “the perfect minor-league player” isn’t really the guy you want at the top of your leaderboard. But a little part of me will be sad when Steve Balboni is bumped from the KC record books.

I’m 70 and grew up with the A’s, Texans/Chiefs and Royals. My fondest memories from the KC Star were the columns by G.W. Gusewell and you, Mr. Joe. You have a special gift for sports writing. You connect a reader with the humanity of your subjects. Thanks, again❤️

No surprise that Barry Bonds wouldn’t show up in a column about home runs from spring, 1998. Junior and Big Mac had both been in the high 50s in 1997, and Frank Thomas was just completing his Ted Williams years, just before settling into his George Brett years. In 1998, Barry, though a superstar, hadn’t really established himself as an elite-level power hitter, at least by the standards of the late 1990s. His high water mark was “only” 46, and that happened back in 1993. Funny thing is that 2001 is the only year Barry even made it past 49 (though his performance that year ensured that he would average, at best, one hittable pitch per game thereafter).

It’s like the Steroid Era completely passed over the hitters for the Royals. Were they not aware of it? As a KC fan, I hoped they would hire Jose Canseco as the hitting coach so someone would finally surpass this pathetic record.

Oh, they were aware of it. The Royals were being so mismanaged by their cheap new owner, David Glass, that they couldn’t hit multiple home runs if their lives depended on it. They did get a few roid boys on their roster. One that immediately comes to mind is a catcher from the S.F. Giants, who was suspended before he even got to the Royals. Another one is KC’s ALL TIME worst contract player, Jose Guillen. Yep, good ole’ Jose is mentioned in the Mitchell report and even after that the Feds caught a boxload of HGH being sent to Guillen. He never played in the MLB after that.

Oh, by the way KC paid Guillen 36 million for 3 years and he ended up getting about 300 hits. That comes down to about 36K a hit doesn’t it?

Fine – you can have a better single-season HR record for the Royals. I’m less sanguine about never reading you writing about Steve Balboni again. I am a fan of yours, and I am also a fan of Balboni. Hands down, one of the most fun deeply flawed baseball players of my time. (Balboni, not you.)