Swapping Spit At Sketchfest

I have loved comedy ever since (the apparently very difficult) Jerry Seinfeld asked, “If the black box always survives the crash, how come they don’t just make the whole plane out of the black box?” In fact, I love cliché airplane humor in general. What exactly IS with those peanuts. Questionable taste aside, I’m thrilled that once again, Sketchfest has taken over San Francisco, bringing varying degrees of guffaws, giggles and groans to town until February 4th.

The past week, my friends and I headed to a 10:30 show at Cobb’s Comedy Club. “Delocated Witness Protection Program Variety Show” was described on the website as, “’Jon’ from Adult Swim’s “Delocated” hosts a night of both anonymous and non-anonymous music and entertainment. Featuring Eugene Mirman, David Cross, Paul Rudd, Jessi Klein and Andy Blitz.”

I had never seen Adult Swim’s “Delocated” but, and my lady-readers know what I’m about to say, PAUL RUDD WAS GOING TO BE THERE.

Basically, I attended last week’s show with Paul Rudd blinders on. If other funny things happened on stage, great.

We arrived at 10 p.m. to find the line for ticket-holders winding around two (2) blocks. And we didn’t make our way inside until 10:30 exactly. But that was fine. It was clear the show would start when the show felt like starting. As I walked into the club, Eugene Mirman walked right past me.

Once the lights dimmed, a gentleman wearing a ski mask, pink football jersey and metallic hot pants appeared on stage and began singing made up lyrics to the theme from TV’s “Magnum P.I.” Later research revealed that this was Jon Glaser, former Conan O’Brien writer and creator/star of ‘Delocated’, a show on Adult Swim, the after hours programming on the Cartoon Network.

After Jon kicked off the show, Eugene Mirman came out and did a stand-up set. Having no real idea what to expect, I was delighted to discover we were basically in store for a series of stand-up acts, each introduced by Jon in his hot pants and ski mask. Up next was comedienne Jessi Klein, who I liked a lot. And then all of a sudden David Cross was on stage.

One of the things I love about Sketchfest is the array of amazingly talented (and often times excitingly famous) people who participate. Good comedy is good comedy, of course. But physical proximity to a celebrity is also fun.

The couple sitting directly in front of me were making out for much of Cross’ set, so that was gross and distracting. Maybe Tobias Funke really turns them on. Or maybe I’m the big weirdo for never having sucked face at a stand-up comedy show. Who knows.

Ski-mask Jon came back onstage and announced that sadly, Paul Rudd couldn’t make it. Instantly I knew this was a lie. I’m not saying I could physically sense Paul Rudd’s sparkly-eyed presence. I’m just saying I was 100% positive PR was in the house. With a wacky segue, Jon introduced “San Francisco Pete” which turned out to be Paul Rudd in a beard made from gaffer’s tape.

If you’re wondering if Paul Rudd is more adorable in person, I can assure you that yes, a million times yes, he is.

Ski-mask Jon and Perfect Paul did a very sweet and funny stand-up bit together, followed by the initially off-putting Andy Blitz.

Also a writer from Conan, I didn’t figure out what was going on with Blitz until about halfway through his set. Once I got it, I suddenly found the entire thing genius.

Closing the show was Death Cab for Cutie’s Ben Gibbard, also in a ski-mask. He sang “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” from the movie Mannequin. Gibbard’s voice and stylings are so unique and recognizable, it was exciting to hear him cover a cheesy 80’s song. That should really be a whole other show. I wanted to scream, “Do ‘Voices Carry!’”

If I could, I would see every single show at Sketchfest. A few of them I’m kicking myself for already missing, namely the full cast reunion of “Wet Hot American Summer.”

While my Paul Rudd fantasy never came true, we didn’t meet on the sidewalk after the show and he never asked me to take an ethnic food cooking class with him, the night was a huge hit. Most Sketchfest nights are.

After all, where else can you see David Cross tell jokes through the post-kiss spit strings of a creepy couple blocking your view?

Beth Spotswood writes two columns a week for the Culture Blog and full time for CBS San Francisco, in addition to head-writing and co-hosting of the satire webshow, Necessary Conversation. Winner of the 1986 City of Mill Valley Fire Prevention Poster Contest, Beth can be found on Twitter, and in the real world, where she also exists.