Question

How can I get my husband to change stinky diapers?

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My husband practically vomits if he has to smell or look at our son's dirty diapers. I've been nice about it and tried to encourage him, but now I'm just mad. Is this a normal man thing or is my husband a spoiled, immature brat?

Mom Answers

Yes, I have a comment for you. Tell him it took two of you to produce a baby and it takes two of you to take care of that baby. Gone are the days of June Cleaver. If he was my husband, he wouldn't be for long!

Your husband is acting very immature and ridiculous...he needs to grow up. This is definitely not a "man" thing either, and don't let your husband tell you it is! My boyfriend changes our daughter's dirty diapers more than I do, and he plugs his nose with toilet paper to block the smell! Maybe your husband could try doing that too. Either way, he needs to get over his "fear" of diapers...who's the baby here, your husband or your son?

If it was my DH, I would completely ignore it. I would continue to expect him to change poopy diapers, and I absolutely would not say a word or even look at him while he made a show of gagging. Nobody likes the way poop smells, but we still have to take care of our kids!

I too have that same problem, only my husband is a paramedic and see's things much worse than a poopy diaper. We have two kids one 3 and our little boy is 7 months old. I am a full time stay at home mom so I have all the diapers/pull ups all day long. I have encouraged my husband to try to do the dirty diapers and give me a break. I would too be happy for ANY advice on helping my husband be able to change diapers dirty or otherwise.

We know a couple who was the same way - the husband refused to change poopy diapers when their children were babies. And, like Adelle's comment above, he would call the neighbor to come over and change the baby if his wife was not home. It seemed ridiculous to me - what if the wife suddenly also refused to change poopy diapers? Obviously, someone has to do it! Maybe it's not the most pleasant thing, but in my mind, it's no big deal, especially compared to everything you go through raising children. Get over it.

Ok, maybe your husband is especially sensitive to smells. It's uncommon in men (most women have more sensitive noses than men), but it's possible. If that's his problem, though, you'd know because LOTS of smells would bother him. My friend has the most sensitive nose of anyone we know, though, and she can change her babies' diapers without vomiting - even while she's pregnant.
It's more likely that he's making himself gag because he's thinking too much about how gross the diaper is - instead of thinking about his poor baby who's sitting in it. Try teaching him to 1) hold his breath and 2) think about something else while he's changing the diaper. And threaten to make him change all the dirty diapers so he can get accustomed to the smell so it won't bother him anymore.

I have had the same issues with changing "atomic" diapers. Gagging and choking were only a few of the side effects for me. As result, I knew that because I had a handicap in this area, I did what any person with a disability does - work on compensating. I could look for other ways to help and make concerted efforts to really do more than I usually did to help out.
For example, I would step in and volunteer to change as many urine diapers, as possible. I would also help out by becoming my wife's aide and handing her all of the wipes, diapers, and anything else she would need. (This is also a way that I can hope to desensitize my self and possibly learn any new techniques on how I can better learn to deal with them) I would also be more than willing to dispose of the packaged, hazzardous material. I would also look for times when I could do things like rub her shoulders or feet, etc. Maybe we would switch places, as I would take over doing the dishes, while she traded and handled the HAZMAT crisis.
These are all ways that I compensated for the inability to change most of our older kids - atomic diapers. I will tell you that I handle nearly all of the newborn diapers when I am around (my virtual office is in the basement), knowing that there would be a time when I may not be able to stomach some of what may lie ahead.
Finally, I do 'work through' most poopy diapers despite queeziness and nausea. It is only a few that I just simply cannot seem to handle, and because of this, my wife is understanding and will either support me or smile and step in without belittling me or making me feel try to feel guilty. This turns a stinky situation into a marriage builder.
Some of you may try this, too, as I am certain that there is something that he can do that you simply can't do, and if you cannot think of anything, just wait and if you stay married that long, you will find it one day. Also, consider the reality that marriage is NOT a 50/50 deal like some may think. Despite our efforts, I am sure that you will agree that women do more. That is a fact, but if both of you are not attempting to give each other far more than 50% (and you spend time and energy keeping score), then I assure you that you will eventually fall victim to the resentment bug, and your marriage will suffer much greater problems than the problems that the diapers are creating.
Disclaimer: I do realize that many men out there are pretty sorry / lazy to begin with, but you should have seen this ahead of time, and you made the decision to marry them, so you should not whine about reality. Find the rose colored glasses that you viewed him with when you were dating and put them back on - permanently. Then, you will be able to laugh about emails like this one, instead of using this as fuel for your resentment of him.

Hello, I too can relate. However I have realized the reason he does not change them in not because it is "beneth him" or "a job unworthy of a man" it is just something he hates. Their are plenty of other things he does with our son and he is a real good father. I just count my blessing and realize he returns the favor and will do the things I hate too.

hello!~
unfortuantly, my hubby has the same problem ... to a point. some would same i am mean but i did not create my son myself, so i do not take care of him myself. i tell my husband he has to change some stinky diapers because when its just the two of them once i go back to work, then what? he is not going to wait to go till i get home and i dont expect to come home and have to change a stink bomb that he has been sitting in all day. HTH

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