faggotry

a response to http://www.darkpoetry.com/dp/16077/111542
(both the comments on the work, and the reflection of "macho" within the
work itself as somehow being more valid as another type of masculinity)

so imagine you're in a city and you want to go to a club where people know
what the YMCA song is REALLY all about except everyone around you is heterosexual
white and catholic and there's only one place really for you to go to and
it's so deeply underground you have to ring a doorbell and get ushered
in in order to reassure the few patrons that they won't be beaten up outed
or killed.

so imagine you're a man who looked a little too longingly at another man
and now you have to gather up the sticks they'll use to burn you with because
you're now a heretic, and if they don't gather enough they'll toss you
on the fire as kindling for the women who dared to own property or to speak
up for themselves.

so imagine you have to live a life of silence and of fear or your life
will become a media circus and people will throw rocks or feces at you
in the street and your wife will end up harassed and ridiculed everywhere
she goes and you'll be unable to rent an apartment or get a job because
your employers will assume you have AIDS.

*******************

fling that word around
faggotry
like you know what it means

stride around in those boots
called self-righteousness
feels good to be king, huh
in a world where men are men
and men conform
or die

yeah
cause I bet you've never been different
never been spat on
or shoved
never been afraid for your life
or the life of those close to you
never been jailed
for who you wanna be with
in 5 years

watch out, folks
this may come as a shock
and I don't recommend this next bit
for pregnant women
or people prone to heart attack-

gay men are like other men.

yup.

they wear leather
and tee shirts
and converse sneakers
just as often
possibly more
than tight pants
and belts that shimmer
when they shimmy

do you all really feel so insecure
that if someone insults your clothes
you feel the need to insult him back?
do you really care that much?
how do you wrap your masculinity
paper or plastic?

and if you've ever thought about
safer sex
or sexual freedom
or playing with handcuffs
you've got something to thank those faggots for

the decency to not make a pass at you because you're straight?
do you even realize how that sounds?
because obviously if a man flirted with you
you'd have to recoil, react
because being attracted is somehow indecent

again, shock number two
there's a difference between flirtation
and sexual harassment
which seems to be a fine line
for some.

it infuriates me how anyone would presume
what a woman should find attractive.
how dare you suggest there's something wrong with me
if I like a man with eyeliner
and the ability to match his clothes.
who are you to judge?

I am in a city where the manly man reigns supreme
and women are sent to the kitchen to cook
and gay men are sent to the park under cover of night
because they have no safe places to be
and lesbians don't even exist.

and I am afraid.

because it's not uncommon to get beaten
or even killed
for maintaining eye contact with the wrong person
of the wrong gender at the wrong time.
I have to live in secret
underground
with the gassed bodies of homosexuals
who slumber fitfully
beside the jews and the gypsies.

maybe it seems like a long time ago to you.
but it's in the dust I choke on every day.

and yet
they've never had a revolution here.

what makes me sick
is that you speak
from a place where we fought
hard
for the right to go to a bar
without being arrested-
for the right to wear what we wanted

Comments on "faggotry"

God...this hit close to home. I know someone who is pretty obviously gay. He is in denial, and will probably never come out of it, because he was raised to think it was disgusting and when he was a teenager they were still public ally finding a "cure" for being gay with electrocution... This is a very excellent piece of poetry. To the point, raw, just...well done. What makes me sick also is when people assume that if you're not straight, you're whoring yourself somehow. It's like, wtf? I'm straight myself, but I still don't understand how homophobia still reigns in this freaking day and age. That should have been swapped with hover cars by now.

One night I had a buddy call me up, on the verge of tears, because a gay guy hit on him. I laughed.. I'm like... a gay dude thought you were attractive enough to hit on you? You should be outright flattered. If not interested, politely decline. He felt so relieved for just hearing something positive, reassuring. I'm so glad you wrote this Bast, understanding goes a long way. I didn't see what this was in response to, it doesn't matter... they are necessary words, regardless. Hope you are well.

This was amazing. The way the rant fell into the breathlessness of it all. It's beautiful.
I'm at a loss for anything appropriate to say, beyond thank you.

A former member wrote:
Keep the faith sister.. as a bisexual this hits close to home. It really amazes me that in this day where its not okay to call people racial slurs ie: nigger, kike, whop, whater... that its totally okay and accepted to call people faggots, and even moreso that because of that we deserve to die. Its fucking sick that we have to live like this.. but thats just the world. Great write. I really enjoyed a flip on the bs.

No, this is more about a few things- the comments on his work, his reflection of how one type of masculinity is somehow more valid than another (because otherwise, why point out how someone is dressed?) and that truly, I think the manly thing to do is to brush off that sort of thing because you KNOW who you are, who cares what someone else says?

the point i shot out is that, i too am different, an old biker metal head of sorts, and i too get the stares of the norm or decent pplo, but nothing gave him the right to judge ME for how i look, specially cause i could care less what his ignorant opinion is caus ei do what i do for my queen and family, not to impress others, and i dont go around disrespecting ppl for the way they look, so out of all ppl he shouldn't do it to me -symph-

its not about my masculinity or his, its about the disrespect to me for how i look, and my reaction was to walk away fromit, not say a word, write it down and go on with my night, if that isn't shrugging it off the i dont know what is miss Bast -symph-

...duh; he gave us a description of the guy so we know who to not wear leather vests and oily torn jeans around...that wasn't obvious to you...? I got that point right away...

A former member wrote:
....I dont know what to say about this, except probably that, Man and Woman goto together. If you are not of faith, then you should look at the basic science of it. It is made so male and females should be together. Though it is a free country and it would be wong to condemn someones beliefs as long as they were not hurting anyone.

wow. i know that i have said that word and i do regret it, i don't say it anymore. i stopped when i knew the meaning. its something you hear at a football game and it gets stuck to you. i don't like that people discriminate others becuase of the sex they choose to fuck or the way they dress. i know how it feels to have dirty looks throuwn at me and whipsers in my face about how i look. this was though, a very good write and somewhat stirring. i'm surprised i'm the first comment here. -mars