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Things are same old-same old around the old Snot Factory. Production is up. Demand is down. Piles of tissues and empty cough medicine bottles soar. Spirits plummet. Meh.

But at least these last few days have given me a chance to establish a stronger foothold in my ongoing war with Harriet-The-Automated-Library-Voice. Those of us who live in South Central Wisconsin are entrusted with the keys to a very special kingdom; the magical realm of LinkCat. Whatchadois, go to Barnes and Noble dot com or whatnot and scope out the newest releases, then go to LinkCat and order them from the library system. You must use the secret code number, cleverly hidden in plain sight, on the back of your library card. In the past 10 years , I can count the books they DIDN'T have on less than one hand. And who needs to read 'The 'Secret Life of Dust Mites' anyway? You are put on the list and when the book becomes available, anywhere in the state practically, Harriet-The-Automated-Library-Voice …

Be prepared, this post will end up sounding like a monumental whine, but I've been held captive for three days with only Dr. Phil and 80's sit-coms for company. You do the math. Tends to enhance my grumpier attributes.

I called today for my test results and were told that they can take up to a week. WTF!Doc told me that they would be back today. It's a moot point because I'm still sick so I'd have to stay home anyway, but there's something about this mandatory incarceration that offends my delicate sensibilities! Everyone has told me that I should be having fun knitting and spinning and basketing during my confinement. I would hate to see the work I'd put out in my Benydryl, Codeine induced haze. Besides, I am busy enough shoving my lungs back in after I hack them up every five minutes. Sheesh.

I suspect that it's not Flu-us Porcinicus and just the general Flu-us Pain-in-the-assi-cus but it's taking it's sweet old time letting go. Friend Gail did …

Well, it was bound to happen. I'd been doing the inward happy dance (it's way more graceful than my outward one) that I hadn't had a bad cold or flu all winter when WHAM, Snotfest hit me right between the eyes. Literally It was the weirdest thing ever. I was perfectly fine at 9:oo PM and by 9:15 I was stuffed up, coughing, wheezing, sneezing and generally felt like I'd been flung under a semi. Twice. Maybe three times.

I figured that if it was the flu, you're supposed to get right in and get Tamiflu so I called the doc from work this morning. The nurse was none too happy that I was at work after I described my symptoms and made me go home to wait for my 2:30 appt. Talk about feeling toxic. I felt bad enough anyway, but then to have a mask strapped on for 2 hours and everyone in the clinic avoiding me like...well....like I have the plague. Sheesh! An exam, chest x-ray and a few puffs on some kind of modern day peace pipe and I was sent home loaded up with Tamiflu…

OMGosh you guys! I went dancing! I had SUCH a good time! Some friends got together at the West Side Club for Fish Fry and dancing. I really wanted to go to supper with them but spent days plotting my escape before the band got started. I haven't danced in about 25 years.

Supper was wonderful. The band started up as we were settling up for our meals; Beach Boys, Eric Clapton, CCR. Great. My era. Crap. I decided to sit and listen to a couple of songs and then sneak out the back before the serious dancing got started. Based on my high school experience, this takes approximately a third of the evening while everyone gets over being shy and sizes everyone else up. Ummmm....seems big people dances are a little different. Apparently, the minute the lead guitar starts tuning, you start dancing. I watched and thought, you know, I can't look any more foolish than some of those folks. In amongst the people doing the latest steps, there was one guy doing 'The Grand Mal Seizure' and…

I believe I have again heard a phrase never previously uttered by human kind. I brought two big bags of red Twizzlers in for my kids today. My boss took one and said,

“Do you know how much I love licorice? Way too much!”. I said, “I just can’t get too enthused about it. To me it tastes like wax.” To which he replied, ‘Oh, but it’s chewy! It tastes like a strawberry flavored clam!” I know!!! Chew on that one!

Went to the Farmer’s Market by work this afternoon. It’s every Thursday during the summer and is microscopic compared to the one Downtown, but I love it anyway. I picked up some cheese curds for my neighbors. The curds are the really garlicky kind so they’ll ALL have to eat them or else they’ll bad-breath each other out of the house. As long as everyone participates, they cancel each other out! I picked up some baby carrots, lettuce, rhubarb and Swiss chard for Ben and I. I’m in LOVE with Ziploc Steamer Bags. Pop the carrots or chard in the bag and throw ‘em in the micro for, like, …

I pulled a rookie mistake many months ago and am only now realizing its consequences. I’ve started spinning some sheep roving I got at a local farm. They had beautiful, dark, rich colors so of course, being a newbie with no idea about fiber content and spin-ability, I bought a BUNCH of the stuff. I started spinning my first ball of it last weekend and I swear it must have come from the breed BovinusSteelwoolicus. The stuff is beautiful to behold, but NASTY to spin. Guard hairs, shrubbery and the fact that it wasn’t carded near enough is making something that is so enjoyable a real drag. Valuable lesson learned. Rats!

Yesterday I was on my patio when I heard a scritchityscitching in the gutter pipe that run down the outside of the building to the right of my door. Thinking a squirrel had gotten caught in there, I unhooked the flexi pipe at the bottom that diverts the water away from the foundation and out in the lawn somewhere thinking that the critter could get out now. Even if it wa…

Neighbor Aaron graduated from UW this weekend and his wife Terri ordered a 12 pound cheesecake from The Carnegie Deli in NYC for him. He brought me over a piece Sunday night that would feed a family of four! I tried a couple of bites before bed and Oh. My. Gosh. You may not hear from me for a few days as I will be quitting my job, packing my possessions and moving to The Big Apple immediately! If you need to reach me, I'll be renting a flat directly over the deli with a trap door over the cheesecake case! I have never had better cheesecake in my life! Sooooo smooth! Yum! I'm rationing it out and not sharing so don't even think about it you guys! A fork in the right hands can be a formidable weapon.

Aaron and Terri also brought William over in his new manly outfit. He had the hat I knit on as well as a new onesy that their friends gave him. It's black and says 'Lock Up Your Daughters'. He doesn't weight as much as his Dad's cheesecake but he's sure a …

On Saturday, I was ruthlessly kidnapped by the Fitchburg Historical Society. I went to O'Fitchburg Days and decided to take the 'Trolley Tour of Historic Fitchburg'. Since most of Fitchburg is approximately 27 minutes old, I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I asked how long the tour would be and was told that we'd be back in about a half an hour. So I boarded the 'Trolley SS Minnow' and off we went. The tour guides were an elderly couple; the lady was from the Historical Society (who, let's just say, didn't make a great first impression) and her husband, who looked exactly like an octogenarian Ed Begley Jr.. Fitchburg started about 1857 or something and I think they've been around from the very first day. They threw around names and pointed out lots of spots where historic buildings (mostly in the flavor of either old barns, general stores, or one-room schools) used to be. I looked at lots of ditches, overgrown fields and tree groves that supp…

The late night knitters didn't let me down! They even discussed past statements that have been made so I'm including them here although there were plenty of new gems last night. These are statements usually heard when everyone is talking at once and then it gets quite and there's that one lone voice still speaking. So for those of you who picture Knit Night at The Sow's Ear as a bunch of little old ladies sitting around primly, knitting up lime green toilet paper covers; here are a few of the snippets of conversation overheard last night! No explanation. Draw your own conclusions.

*"I was 18 before I saw my first cow in the wild..."*"I can't get my Google up!!!"*"I eat baby bananas from Kwik Trip from the wrong end. Like a monkey. Then you have a handle..."*"FACT. If you put your underwear on backwards, you walk funny..."*"I'm contemplating my toes..."*"I saw my first artichoke on the subway...."*"…

I went to an evening class on Monday night after my misadventure in dog walking in the morning. Afterward, I stopped into Target to pick up a couple of things. I noticed that several times when I approached couples who were talking and they immediately clammed up. If I neared a person by themselves they gave me a wide birth. I thought it was weird and started to get a complex. I HAD taken a shower that day! I didn’t figure out what was going on until I got home and took a look at myself in the mirror. Both of my wrists are bandaged with white bandages because the owies are on the heel of my hand and my wrist where I can't get Band-Aids to stay on and they need to be kept clean. AND I had forgotten to removed my sticker badge from class that said “Hello, My name is Molly Bee”. Put that together and I must have looked like I had participated in some kind of a support group gone horribly wrong! I wish I’d realized what was going on when it was happening. I could have had some fun wit…

I started off this beautiful Monday in my bathrobe and slippers, face down in the shrubbery outside. ‘Molly Bee’, you comment…’Isn’t that how you start most days?’ Yes! Normally I start off my day face down in the metaphorical bushes…not the actual ones planted in the rocks outside my patio. I went to let Ben out at 6:30. He was on his retractable leash. He usually goes out, does his business, and then comes back in since he knows breakfast is next and it’s his most important meal of the day; right up there with his supper. The boy does love him some kibble. He also loves him some squirrels. Sheldon/Sheldonina was in the big tree out front and I didn’t see him/her. The big tree is approximately two feet further away from the patio than the retractable leash reaches as it turns out. I, in my usual befuddled morning state, saw him running, but didn’t put two and two together and drop the leash in time. I say, ‘in time’ because once my feet were yanked out from me and I was launched forw…

What started out at a ho-hum weekend definitely picked up momentum as it rolled along! I spent the entire morning Saturday curled up reading the new Jodi Picoult book, "Handle With Care'. I haven't read a book that good in a looooong time. I highly recommend it. Ran into neighbor Aaron in the afternoon and he said that Terri, his wife, was finally experiencing some labor pains. She was due last Saturday and it's been a looong week of waiting for them! I had told him that when the time came to go, to just call me and I'd come get their firstborn baby, Brinkley and babysit while his new brother was being born. Ben was uber thrilled! He and Brinks have been buddies for a while now and Ben, well, Ben just loves him a sleepover! Aren't they handsome boys? This is one of the only good shots I got of them since they are in almost constant motion, playing. Plus Brinkley seems to be very camera curious so most of my shots look like this: Both dogs slept on the bed with…

Well, I passed my First Aid Class yesterday. With my CNA and Hospice Volunteering, it’s pretty old hat, but I try to keep my certification current by getting a class in once a year. I figure odds are good that one day I really will slip a cog and try to rough up one of my kids, so it’s good to know the latest techniques on how to revive ‘em and patch ‘em back up if I need to. So if you are unconscious, heat stroked, seizing, bleeding, broken, burned up, or have a Portuguese knitting mishap, I’m your girl!

I’ve been having…um…issues with my new work computer. My old one had had enough, coughed up a fur ball and died a couple of weeks ago. My new one is flashy and all that, but it doesn’t understand me like the old one did. It takes time to build a new relationship I guess. My main point of contention with it is that it second guesses and micro manages me. I hit print, hop up from my desk and trudge the 3 cubicles over to the printer and…nothin’. I trudge all the way back and I have a me…

Is anyone as bummed out as I am that Dom Deluise died? I LOVED him! I haven't been this sad about a celebrity passing since The Crocodile Hunter bought it. Maude didn't even make me this sad. Dom always made me smile. Blazing Saddles was the greatest!

Life has been moving fast around here lately. I've just been trying to keep up. Weekends are filled with social things. Work is filled with project things, and evenings are filled with homework, chores and errand things. But I have been sneaking in time here and there to work on fun things too.I finished spinning up ZigZag-The-Alpaca's fleece and got it washed and dried-outside in the breeze . It spun up like a dream. I two-plied it into lace weight and have a scarf pattern in mind for it. It's soft and light as a feather. Just natural ZigZag coloring...Totally makes up for my bad experience with the last spinning I did...

And I got started on my bread basket. It's not much to see, but I put it here as proof to a c…

Does anyone else love the fact that John Stewart over at The Daily Show is calling the Swine Flu pandemic ‘Snoutbreak ‘09’?

Well, I made it home safe and sound from Portuguese knitting. Upon reading yesterday’s entry, a friend urged me to make sure that I wasn’t the only one in the class that The Ear was encouraging to put yarn around their neck, that said yarn didn’t just happen to have some kind of a slip knot in it, and that it was actual yarn and not piano wire. So I checked it out thoroughly before I even picked up the needles. It was legit. I call it ‘Opposite Knitting’ because it’s just backwards from how I, as a 'thrower' (Say it loud and say it proud , Sister!) knit. The yarn is around the back of your neck for tension and is all controlled by the left thumb. Therefore, the purls are wicked easy and the knits are a little more complicated-just opposite of throwing with my right hand. I really liked it though and can see two distinct advantages: