Silly me: I sent Kat a voodoo curse, from this page, and soon thereafter she sends me an IM asking, "Did you just send me a voodoo curse?" (which is a pretty funny IM to receive, actually), and I had forgotten that I had. So there's a long moment during which I'm on my end thinking What are you talking about and Kat's on hers thinking Ack! Voodoo curse! But then I remembered and confessed and all was well.

Absorbing book. And I thought I was through with my Russian-stuff obsession. I guess not, because now I am actively seeking out more.

I am not in the mood to document things. Rather I am in the mood to make lists. You can go now if you want, I'll just keep typing. I am very good at amusing myself.

SIX COVER VERSIONS I VASTLY PREFER TO THE ORIGINAL SONGS

1. Dear Prudence, Siouxsie and the Banshees (all swirly and distant bells)2. More Than a Feeling, Sleater-Kinney3. Uptown Girl, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (sort of a ska-punk parody but somehow heartfelt too)4. Shook Me All Night Long, Gangster Fun (side note #1: speaking of 1980s hair-metal covers, I once wrote a parody of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" called "Pour Some Couscous on Me"---I'd post the lyrics here but somehow I think it's funny only to me)5. Satisfaction, Devo (they somehow brilliantly sucked all the sex right out of that song)6. Take Me to the River, Talking Heads (but of course)

FIVE ITEMS OF CLOTHING (AND TWO TOYS) FROM MY PAST THAT I WISH I STILL HAD

1. T-shirt with 3-dimensional, squeaky, cat head.2. Sailor dress. (Damn, I was cute in that thing.)3. Sesame Street overalls. (Big Bird patch on knee.)4. Red-and-white checked (think picnic table or Italian restaurant) summer jumper.5. Major-goth asymmetrical hem velvet dress with giant bat sleeves, very dangerous around candles. (Creatively fashioned by a friend with a sewing machine; a designer original, if you will.)a. My tricycle, which had mysterious-to-me 1970s stickers all over it (where did those come from?), like a marijuana leaf and the "Keep On Trucking" guy.b. Lemon Twist.

FOUR FAKE BLUES MUSICIANS I MADE UP JUST NOW, IN THE TRADITION OF BLIND LEMON JEFFERSON (ie, one disability, one fruit, one US President)

When I have the Misery, the Black Dog, the Sunday Sads, the Melancholy Maroon Woolen Blanket, I like to give that particular moping episode a title. Everything is easier to get through if you have a title for it.

IF MY DESPAIR WERE A FEATURE FILM HERE ARE THE SUGGESTED TITLES

1. Dirty Low-Down and Mean2. Stay Where You Are3. Misplaced Guilt and Shame4. Gustav5. Broken Heart, Loud Noise in Ears6. When Will I Ever Fucking Learn7. Parmenides 2002 (Or, Motion Is But an Illusion)8. Wanting the Impossible9. Pocket Full of Stones (Or, Me and Virginia Woolf Go For a Walk)10. God Punched Me in the Throat11. Dry Sticks in Dry Grass12. I Thought A Bath Would Help But Now I'm Just Damply Depressed

But hey! That was just a list, that was not meant to make you lugubrious. Let us rejoice and be merry, for today's Weather Word is ZESTY. Also, this guy is the number one Google return for "buttock surgery." Good for him! What an achievement! If there's one thing that guy knows, it's ass implants.