kpp received his third stripe this afternoon!!!!! are you asking what stripe 3 means? oh you're not? well i'll tell you anyway....my son takes martial arts classes

..but he takes these classes every monday and wednesday afternoon...he has been doing this for about 6 weeks?? now?..he is very new..yet really pretty good...and only FOUR YEARS OLD! :)...his teacher says he is really good when he is focused...so lol im really trying to work with him and his focus skills...

okay..so thats that...back to the stripe...

okay..yeah back to the stripes lol...each class builds on the next..once he learns one set of "things"...kicks..punches..whatever...he gets a stripe...well tonight..he took his third test and remembered everything...well most everything...he gets sooo very distracted..(like his mother lol)....its really kind of funny sometimes..but he did really good..and he knows a lot..he surprises me every single class...i was very very proud of him..im still very proud of him...

today's surprise was that he actually did a "real" jumping jack..his jumping jacks are usually hands flaring and no movement in his lower body! lol...so the fact that he did one tonight..was AWESOME! because no matter how many times ive showed him..he still NEVER does them correctly..well this afternoon..he did...i credit david...the 13 year old boy who has a black belt and who helps with his class....he even did sit ups AND great push ups tonight too!!

he is really doing really well with the class...he has ONE more stripe to go! HE WILL HAVE 4 and on to this next belt! I think the next belt is orange? or green?..not sure yet...lets just focus on getting stripe 4 lol...

yeeeah for kpp! ill upload some pictures from his class soon..

ps....1. when you come up to a person and they say they know karate...NEVER ever just blurt out? "oh you know karate...haaaaaa yaaah!" lol thats corny! 2. never ask a kid "well let me see what you got!" again..corny... 3. oooh and never never never never...just straight up hit a person! because they're reflects are sooo quick...they MAY just hit you back! lol okay...class dismissed...what not to do to a karate kid class 101...

pss...yeah NEVER CALL THEM KARATE KIDS! you know the movie and then sing stupid songs like eye of the tiger...okay seriously..dismissed now...

i feel like ive been riding in the passenger seat of some luxury sedan...riding down some long seaside road...with the ocean breeze hitting my face..my hair in the wind...listening to some great cd..kpp sleeping in the backseat...the person driving? well it doesnt really matter..its not me...just the way i like it....im laid back as far as my seat can go...thinking of everything good in my life...just riding...my inner most thoughts surrounding me......feeling the love.....loving myself and my son..and maybe that person driving??...maybe.....and riding...riding down freedom drive...smelling the salty ocean smell that we all love...and dozing off into a tranquil slumber....and then BOOM! out of no where... a baracoda runs out...and the driver HITS IT!! lol... yeap...thats how i feel...

ive been doing really good lately..mentally..feeling really good...even..balanced......physically..ive been running around with kpp nonstop..yet not tired.....playing tennis on tuesdays...swimming on thursdays....karate on mondays and wednesdays...and playing and running in living all the time in between....and spiritually..well just knowing that im loved by my god..is enough.....knowing that when i feel a unsteady burst of emotions..that ill be taken care of...that he is holding my hand....yeah ive been feeling really good...and now...well now...my mother is coming back...and noooo i dont think of her as a baracoda...but i do think of her some of the negative energy that has been surrounding me for the last few months...one of the reasons ive been feeling angry and annoyed easier than before...the reasons why i can never seem to finish a project at home...the reasons why i was feeling displaced even in my own home....

see her is the short...my mother did this great thing by coming to live with us for what i assumed would only be for a few weeks..at the most 2 months..while i organized my life financially.....well weeks turned into months... months turned into a year..and now we're dashing to the 18 month mark...she remains here...here..with us....doing whatever it is she does...

for the last month..ive been really relaxed..and living..and being home...and cozy...before then..i NEVER stayed home..i made it my business to leave..and stay gone...while my house was smoked out...although she doesnt smoke in any areas of the house..she smokes in her room..and its a nuisance..i just want my space back..my personal life back..my time and energy at home..i want it alll back....and tonight is the night to tell her everything ive not told her...ive kind of skated around the subject to say the least..hoping she would get the umpf to get her own place..or at least figure out something different...but tonight..on the way from picking her up..we will have the conversation..ive never been a "we need to talk" person...ive always just said what ive wanted to say..but seeing as though this is my mother..and she did a really noble thing in coming to live with us for a "few months" to help with kpp...i should be a little more "feelingly"...so tonight is the night...

i feel sooo good..and honest and open..and my life is really nice...and even..and happier..and i want these feelings to continue...i know once i get home..ill be all upset..because she will say SOMETHING to piss me off...something will be said to 'TRY' and make me feel bad...but it wont...my mother is over 50...decades older than me..a fully capable middle aged woman...its time...if not by her watch...by mine...

all this time ive had to realize that she doesnt do thing initially...maybe she does..but lets assume she doesnt..but uninitially..ive let things take me away from my son..i cant really blame that on her...i let things get out of hand in my "romantic" life......and i let my anger consume me...angry at myself...angry that i would put myself in certain situations...for not preparing more...preparing for things not to happen...preparing for things to happen....but now...its in the past..

i want to experience a brighter future..with more positives..my friends..and loved ones...my friends...well i only have positive people around me these days...unless its those old friends who i just can NEVER seem to shake..but because im used to them lol..im usually the beckon for them..rather them a dark place for me...

but yeah..its time..kpp starts preschool..REAL SCHOOL...as he calls it...in a month...and its time for him to completely have his own space..away from me...no clothes in my closet...no sleeping in my bed because he has to..because the front is just tooo scary...all this...its time..he is a 4 year old H writer lol its time! :)

i feel sooo good tonight..he was in the tub earlier...swimming his little head off..singing and screaming..and this is the sound i want to hear..no tv...no phone...no loud talking..just the two of us...just us...he and i...

tonight i was helping my son write...its my mission in life to create a great student..mainly because i have the soul of a teacher...

well tonight...we were trying to create a composition of cccccsss...ive been trying to get him to write with more control...the way he holds his pencil is weird....the quickness in his handwriting is scary lol...i always hate to see people write really fast...i always know it'll be sloppy....i want him to write with authority...careful and slow...i want him to have great penmanship...but thats some time away...he is only 4 i say...so i let it all go and i stop critiquing him for a minute..and we begin to write cs again...at first they were just scribbles on the paper..as i instructed him to go "slllooooowwwlly"...the writings of the cs became better....and then out of no where...

MY SON...myyyy son...begin to write three little lines...an H..he says...i screamed!! i was amazed!....not that I didn't think he would ever learn to write..i screamed because it was as if he was holding something from me!..it was his little surprise for me...he knew how to write the perfect H! and he said with conviction.."look mommie...an H..." as if this H meant absolutely nothing to him...he did it again...and again...i screamed each time he did it...he began to write them just to see if i would scream..we were both all smiles...my son..the h'er...:)..it was almost as if he knew that writing the H would lighten up the mood...he loves the letter H he said...and begin to write it more..i laughed and hugged him...

after the laughter and hugs subdued...we began to write other letters of the alphabet...and there wasn't a lot of omg's or oooohs and aaaahhss..so he made an H again...and then said.."are you happy again?!" and I screamed out...I looooove all of your letters! they allll make me happy!..and at that moment..he wrote an X! :) the same x i'd tried to get him to write 20 times 20 minutes ago...i was happy AGAIN...so i hugged him AGAIN..and loved him for about 4 seconds..until he realized i was having a moment lol..and he quickly pulled away...

my son is growing up..and although i looove seeing him become this great little kid..who knows me waaay too well....and can recall every movie he has every watched..lol...but i miss the very small hands and toes he used to have before his walking days began.....

nights like tonight make me take life "slllooooowwwlly"...and remember to write about my happiness..IM HAPPY AGAIN