Indeed, I too have been waiting. Since my 80 year old mother died last year, I
have been waiting to hear her voice again, even as upsetting as it had been to
hear it for the past thirty years. I am
deeply impatient, waiting for her to tell me if she finally found out about God
for herself, instead of making me take all those pilgrimages. Just because she is dead does not mean it is
over between us. Somedays, quite the contrary. I only need from her the sign I can believe.

There are very few phrases in the English speaking word that
have this much power. “I have a dream,”
“Houston, we have the technology, “ once upon a time,” and “Waiting for Godot.” I am hard, pressed to find new things to say
about a phrase that imprints so many of us at the very moment we learn to
speak.

I am surprised to see that I myself, who always tries to
maintain an inner clarity in order to be able to inhale new imprints, I feel the trance of Beckett as well. I am waiting. For my mother’s empathic caress,
for my deceased brother who told me about the play he read in 11th
grade 45 years ago. “Get it kid? God-
ot—its GOD, stupid.” I am waiting for
the government to collapse, for my country to arise, and to hear his voice
again at my table.

The current production of Waiting for Godot , a world premiere from the Gare St Lazare Payers, (from Ireland) and playing at the
Paramount this week is that rare and delicate ritual you cherish and don’t allow yourself to
perform enough. Sitting in a full house,
in the transcendent renovation of the Paramount, it seemed as if each and every
person was quietly quoting their
favorite line in sync with the actors, if not repeating the entire play as if in
common prayer. Excited exhales are heard all night long.

And yet, there are several deep moments when the actors
stop, face us as audience, and wait.
Then, the historical hall becomes
a timeless meditation room, completely still for a minor eternity. I stopped
breathing once or twice during the night, I am sure.

Even the set is waiting.
In the background, the enormous full moon faints and revives throughout
the play. The stage itself is a mirror
of the moon, but it’s also not—it’s off-kilter, has a barren tree, and one
small crater that Gogo (Estragon) uses
as his personal throne. The set is uncomfortable and
tranquilizing. The moons do not wane or
crescent. They are unhappy reflections, either stark or dark, yet always whole.

The over-60 couple in front of me are retired, and now are writers,
and “have seen Becket for decades and Godot 10 times.” In all their years of going to
theatre, this is their favorite play. The young Hong Kong Chinese woman next to
me has never heard of Becket and is bored, and I tell her that is the point of
the play. She ignores me for the rest of
the evening.

The actors have lost their edge because the audience knows
these characters so well that there is little the players can do
except—well—play. And so they do. Simple and startling performances glitter brilliantly
on stage. I still feel Lucky’s rope and carry
the sound of his chronic shuffling. Estragon’s
foot still annoys me. Against an ageless
and endless overly intelligent discussion of meaning, interpretation and
inquiry, these players show us that what is real stays real: Cruelty to each other, pain in the body, a
profound desire to comfort and encourage. In the experienced shadows of the Gare St
Lazare troupe’s moon, we can lilt.

During intermission, a group of students from Concord
Academy are chittering away, and I ask “What do you think of God-oh versus Goe
doe?” What is sweetest is that they don’t question a random stranger asking
questions, and they instantly respond, “Oh do we even have to know? I mean,
isn’t the not knowing a way of knowing?”

This is what I wait for, and here I am finally found. In this brick and mortar building, the
conversation about our theatre of every day life is available with any other person.
Hosted by the eternal Muse Beckett,
played out by finely tuned performers, and held in place by Arts Emerson, we
have come, and every one of us is asking.

As Estragon says “There is nothing to be done.” And so, here, at ARTS Emerson, we do just that, all of us, together.

In this perfect-bound chapbook, a mother relates how she has to step back and let her teens have their own personal light and identity. It’s as if she has to start a whole new chapter in the raising of these people formerly known as children.

A very good poem in the book is called “Stuffing Bears”—where the author, working in a toy store, sells a stuffed bear and a giraffe to a man she fears is a predator. Then while driving down the highway past the store, she spots these same toys in a memorial to a dead child along the road:

I stare at the bear,
that big, blue bear.
I’d know that ugly thing anywhere,
even
on the side of the road
next to a giraffe,
next to a cross,
next to a sign
that says,
“We Miss You”

In “Skim Boarding”, she is learning when to speak to her teens and when to keep quiet:

The wave stalks.
Seagulls cry a warning.
Mother watches the water
Widen its mouth to swallow.
She wants to call out,
but…

Like the boarder
determined to master
the elusive ebb and flow,
she is learning to speak
and when to be silent.

And in “Suddenly Conscious”

Through their eyes
she sees herself,
more Van Gogh than Mona Lisa…

Before turning to poetry, says the author in her biography, Juianne practiced employee benefits law.
She has had poems published in Ibbetson Street Press, YARN, The MacGuffin, The Listening Eye, and others. She also writes young adult novels and novels in verse. A resident of Rhode Island, she is raising three teenagers and coaching teens in writing.

Please donate to the Ibbetson Street Press/Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene- keep us alive!

Last Night at the Wursthaus by Doug Holder

Michael Casey ( Winner of the Yale Younger Poetry Prize--"Obscenities") "This book is a wonderful and entertaining read. It is maybe ten years since I read a book so good that I wished it had more pages. I hope the author is working on a sequel." Neil Silberblatt (Founder of Voices of Poetry) writes, " These poems work for anyone with the gift and curse of memory..." To order click on picture.

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August Wilson The late playwright August Wilson. "He Really Wanted to be a Poet" The following is an article by my frien...

Newton Writing and Publishing Center

(Click on pic to go to site) The Newton Writing and Publishing Center provides guidance, inspiration, encouragement, and all the tools you need to revise your work to perfection, whether it’s a novel, a poem, a short story, your memoirs, or a non-fiction project. But we are not just a place to work; we have fun here, too, with lively open mic events, catered author appearances, and book launching parties

Small Press and Poetry Collection at Endicott College in Beverly, Mass.

Portrait of an Artist as a Young Poseur : 1974 to 1983 by Doug Holder

(To order click on picture) “Doug Holder is a poet of the old city, the city of our fathers, of the 1950s and later. Mr. Holder writes poems like notes in a diary. I found myself struck by their economy, wit, and urban melancholy... He has a voice unlike that of any of his contemporaries. Holder is a poet of the street and coffeehouses, an observer of the everyday. He writes of old Marxists, security guards and his relationship to his deceased father—themes of the common life. I am drawn to these poems as I am to the poetry of Philip Levine and the prose of James T. Farrell. But Holder’s poetry is deeper than that. He sees the world not for what it is, but on his own terms. He is living in the poem rather than in poetry.” ~ Sam Cornish, First Boston Poet Laureate

Portrait of An Artist as a Young Poseur by Doug Holder (Order on paypal.com)

OH Don't ,She Said..a poem/song project

( Preview and Purchase--click on pic) Oh Don’t, She Said ~ by Jennifer Matthews. Jennifer wrote this song after her friend and notable poet, Doug Holder, showed her his poem: “Oh don’t, she said, it’s cold.” After reading it, Jennifer felt inspired and heard a song in it. She had to change some of the words to make it work lyrically with the music, but she made sure to stay close to the original poem as much as possible. Jennifer played all the instruments on it and engineered it. It was mixed by Phil Greene at Normandy Sound, who worked with the likes of Mick Jagger, Bruce Springsteen and many, many other noted artists. Doug wrote it after a conversation he had with his mother while riding on a train to New York City. It is dedicated to her, Rita Holder. Genre: Rock: Acoustic Release Date: 2014

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So Spoke Penelope by Tino Villanueva

(Click on picture to order now!) "An intense poetic hovering over a situation of prolonged expectation....The poems in SO SPOKE PENELOPE are simply amazing, whether in the form of an apostrophe to the absent Odysseus or to the Gods, whether in a narrative past-tense mode or in the immediacy of the lived present, whether in the staccato of monosyllables or in the exuberance of unusual compounds, whether they employ Greek-feeling pentameter lines, alliteration, or anaphora. This poetic cycle shows that the whole range of human experience is contained in Penelope of Ithaca."—Werner Sollors

Visitors from around the country and world...( Click on real time view for complete list)

New From Muddy River Books: Eating Grief at 3AM" by Doug Holder

(To order click on picture) “There is a sad, sweet nostalgia in Holder’s Eating Grief at 3 AM, a sense of loss and sadness for the places and the people who were a part of those scenes: the hunchback, the Tennessee Williams’ half lost blondes, the turbaned men and the discarded move nostalgically through life. Yet Holder finds something almost like beauty or knowledge in the abandoned warehouses with weeds crawling to the roof. He imagines when Mrs. Plant, an old art teacher, was an enigmatic young woman ‘feverishly taking notes about the paintings, a love note stuffed in a pocket of her winter coat.’ There are always dreams, even if never fulfilled. There is so often the sense of time passing, of letting go-- letting go of people, letting go of Harvard Square Theater and the Wursthaus, balms that seemed like they would always be there. And they are and always will be in Holder’s moving poems.” — Lyn Lifshin, Author of Cold Comfort (Black Sparrow Press) "

Elizabeth Lund Interviews Doug Holder-Founder of the Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene

(Click on Picture to order) "Starting with Allen Ginsberg and ending with Charlie Parker, Sam Cornish takes us on a whirlwind tour of some of the livelier segments of 1950s and early ’60s American culture. With non-stop energy, syncopated rhythms, and a fast pace that keeps you humming as you turn the pages, Cornish visits a wide array of writers, musicians, and films, stopping along the way to visit local poetry scenes and pay tribute to the homeless and poor. Calling on Jack Kerouac, Langston Hughes, Marlon Brando, Miles Davis and a host of others, Cornish makes us feel the excitement of those times, even as he and his companions absorb the complex and often disturbing history of what he aptly calls “My Young America.” — Martha Collins

Read what people are saying about the Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene

click on pic for more info..... (Eric Darton, (bestselling author of 'Divided We Stand: A Biography of The World Trade Center): ' "...a terrific publication..." Diane Lockward ( New Jersey Council of the Arts Fellow and publisher of Tarapin Books)--"You provide an invaluable service for poets." Rusty Barnes ( Night Train magazine) "Doug. I know your reviewers have made a difference to me and my work. Keep up the good work". J.L. Morin ( Lecturer at Boston University/ Library Review) "That's a lovely blog you've got there, Doug Holder." ( Sherill Tippins--"Inside the Dream Palace: The Life and Times of New York's Legendary Chelsea Hotel.") " I love your introduction, and fervently hope that Somerville never meets anything like the Chelsea Hotel's fate. It's always a pleasure to read your blog -- even when I'm not in it!" Alan Kaufman ( Editor of the "Outlaw Bible of American Literature")-- " ...a terrific blog..." Perry Glasser--( Winner of the Gival Press Novel Award): " The blog is very impressive." Elizabeth Swados ( Tony Nominated Playwright, Guggenheim Award Winner ): "Thanks you so much for this review on your blog. It helps so much, not just in terms of getting people to know that it exists, but also makes me feel that someone has gotten what I have tried to do. I wish you the very best." Marguerite G. Bouvard, PhD-- Resident Scholar Women's Research Center-Brandeis University: " I love reading your blog. What a refreshing respite from the New York Times. Thanks for all you do for poetry." Ed Hamilton--author of "Legends of the Chelsea Hotel" commenting on Chelsea Hotel article: " That's a great piece. Thanks for sending the link along." Richard Moore-- Finalist/T.S.Eliot Prize " I have just read your wonderful interview of the wonderful Eric Greinke!" Steven Ford Brown (Former Director of Research for the George Plimpton Interview Series "The Writer in America"): " You did a great job with the Clayton Eshleman interview, especially the personal stuff. So much better than doing the dry talk about literary polemics." Celia Gilbert (Pushcart Prize in Poetry) "Doug thanks so much for that fine shout out. I'm delighted how you put it all together!" Karen Alkalay-Gut, PhD ( Professor of English-Tel Aviv University) "Doug, I enjoy your posts immensely" Lise Haines ( Writer-in-Residence, Emerson College-Boston) "I love your blog!" "( Elizabeth Searle- Executive Board/Pen New England) : "Like your blog. I like the interview with Rick Moody." Ploughshares Staff- " Everyone at Ploughshares is a big fan of your blog." Suzanne Wise (Publicity Director Poets House-NYC): "Thank you so much for this wonderfully thoughtful portrait of our new home! You really "get us" and you translate that understanding vividly. I love the way you talk about Stanley's ( Kunitz) giant dictionary as a relic from another age. We're glad to preserve such relics." Kathleen Bitetti ( Chief Curator Medicine Wheel Productions/ Former Director of the Artists Foundation--Boston.) " Love your interview with Marc Zegans...wonderful blog!"

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Ibbetson Street is now in a partnership with Endicott College!

(Click on to go to the Endicott College Website)Ibbetson will be supported in part and formally affiliated with Endicott College.

The Arts and Literature in Somerville, Mass.: Off the Shelf with Doug Holder

( Click on picture to go to column) A weekly column in The Somerville News--Somerville's only independent newspaper!

The Somerville News Writers Festival Nov. 13, 2010

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ISCS PRESS--WE WILL PUBLISH YOUR BOOK!

Boston's leading co-publisher... (Click on title for more information)

The Boston Globe: Poetic Healing at McLean Hospital

This was the lead article in the Living/Arts section of the Boston Globe. (Feb. 2000) It has to do with Doug Holder's poetry workshops at McLean Hospital and the history of this literary landmark. (Click on pic for full article)

(Click on picture to view) A Production of Somerville Community Access TV's show " Poet to Poet : Writer to Writer." Moderator: Gloria Mindock, Producer: Doug Holder, Director: Bill Barrell

"The Paris of New England" Interviews with Poets and Writers" by Doug Holder

( Click on pic to order this and other Ibbetson Press titles) Interviews with poets and writers from the Paris of New England Somerville, Mass. " Thank you for your interview book. I read it straight through last night and enjoyed it very much...So many good ideas in one book." Eric Greinke-- Presa Press "Very engrossing collection of Holder's interviews, with a wide range of writers about their lives and work. Included are Mike Basinski, Mark Doty, Robert Creeley, Ed Sanders, Hugh Fox, Robert K. Johnson, and Pagan Kennedy.-- Chiron Review

Advertise with a popular online and print literary column in the heart of the Paris of New England

Reach a wide swath of the Boston Area literary community through The Somerville News' "Off the Shelf" literary Column with Doug Holder. The column is online and in a weekly print edition that reaches 15,000 readers. For more information click on picture.

Grolier Poetry Book Shop

" Poetry is honored every day at the Grolier Poetry Book Shop in Harvard Square, the oldest continuous poetry book shop in the United States. We stock over 15,000 volumes and spoken word CD's. Special orders are welcome. Come and visit us at 6 Plympton St. or online http://grolierpoetrybookshop.org (click on picture)

YOUR AD CAN BE HERE ( Click on pic for more info)

Doug Holder/ Founder/ Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene: Advertise with a popular Boston Area Literary Site--For Low rates-- Contact: dougholder@post.harvard.edu 617-628-2313

Poetry Workshops With Doug Holder

( Click on Picture for Doug Holder's website) Doug Holder has led poetry workshops, both for indviduals and groups for a decade now. Robert Olen Butler ( Pulitzer Prize Winner for Literature) wrote of Holder's work: " I've been greatly enjoying your poems. You have a major league talent, man." Available for individual or groups. Expert in gently helping the novice into poetry and the poetry scene. Reasonable Rates. Available for editing. Call 617-628-2313 for more information. Or email: dougholder@post.harvard.edu

Ibbetson Street Press

No One Dies at the Au Bon Pain by Doug Holder

Poems of Boston and Just Beyond: From The Back Bay to the Back Ward by Doug Holder

A poetry collection that deals with Boston, and Holder's experiences working on the psychiatric units at McLean Hospital

Of All the Meals I Had Before by Doug Holder

Click on picture to publisher page...

The Man in the Booth in the Midtown Tunnel (To order click on picture)

A new poetry book by Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene Founder, Doug Holder. "I'm enjoying 'The Man in the Booth in the Midtown Tunnel' -- perfect poems, especially in that ambiance." Dan Tobin -- Director of Creative Writing--Emerson College-Boston, Mass./ " It is quintessential Holder& bristles with sardonic wit. Congratulations."-- Eric Grienke (founder of Presa Press) / " I finished "The Man in the Booth in the Midtown Tunnel'...greatly enjoyed the menagerie of characters and imperfect human beings I met along the way. Excellent work Doug!"-- Paul Steve Stone ( Creative Director W.B.Mason and the autthor of "Or So It Seems.") / "I am reminded in the pages of this collection of meeting, a year or two before her death, the artist Alice Neel, who painted gorgeously surreal ironic portraits of famous and ordinary people in the 1930's and 40's--and shivering as she looked me over. Doug Holder looks at the world through a similarly sharp and amused set of eyes...Rich nuggets of humor and wry reflection throughout this collection." Pamela Annas ( Asst. Dean of Humanities U/Mass Boston/Reviewer Midwest Book Review) “....particularly liked The Tunnel—a little masterpiece!” Kathleen Spivack ( Permanent Visiting Professor of Creative Writing/American Literature at the University of Paris) "I want to tell you this was just about the best chap I ever read, I absolutely DEVORED it..."--( Robin Stratton--Boston Literary Magazine) "An acclaimed Boston-area poet writes about characters who have captured his interest over the years -- a colonial dame with purple hair, a postal worker ready to be returned to his sender, J. Edgar Hoover's secret love -- in this skillfull collection of short, free form poems." (Perkins School of the Blind Website) Click on picture to access Cervena Barva Press

About Me

Doug Holder is the founder of the independent literary press Ibbetson Street. He teaches writing at Bunker Hill Community College in Boston and Endicott College in Beverly, Mass. He is the arts/editor of The Somerville News, and for the past twenty years has run poetry groups at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. His poetry and prose have appeared in the Bay State Banner, The Boston Globe, The Boston Globe Magazine, Rattle, Endicott Review, Long Island Quarterly, Toronto Quarterly and many others. He holds an M.A. in Literature from Harvard University.

Poems From The Left Bank: Somerville, Mass. by Doug Holder

( Click on picture to order) "The poems are full of life, witty and sympathetic and sharp all at once. And most of all, full of an engaged affection for the place and people. If Burns is Scotland's Bard, you are certainly Somerville's..." Kate Chadbourne, PhD ( Lecturer-Harvard University-Celtic Languages and Literature)

From The Paris of New England: Interviews with Poets and Writers" by Doug Holder

(Click on picture to order) Interviews by Doug Holder from the Paris of New England: Somerville, Mass. "I am impressed. A lot of great interviews compiled over the years."-- Brian Morrisey--Poesy Magazine / " A very engrossing read..."--Chiron Review / "Doug Holder knows how to ask important questions"--New Pages

Advertise with the Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene.

Doug Holder founder says: "Reach a wide audience of poets, writers, editors and publishers, Have your ad linked to your site. The Boston area Small Press and Poetry Scene is well known in the small press community..." For information about rates, etc...email: dougholder@post.harvard.edu or call 617-628-2313