Everyone “a bit ugly”, confirm people watchers

People who passively watch other people go about their business say everyone is quite odd looking and rather ugly, it has been confirmed.

“Would you still be with me if I looked like that!? lol.”

The revelation came after a young couple sat outside a cafe for half an hour, observed no people they were remotely impressed by in the process. 28 year old Becky Dinting explained: “I love people watching. I always look at other couples to see if they’re on a date or if they go together. more often than not someone’s punching. It’s usually the guy.”

“If they’re not fat or ugly, I just find myself thinking ‘aww, just no’. Or they have shit shoes.”

“Honestly, you think ‘there’s no way we’re the only decent looking couple around’ but we are.”

Her boyfriend Nathan Bobson confirmed “Everyone does look a bit shit, I have to say.”

“I’m glad I’m not one of these annoying looking dicks. Knowing what I’m like, I just couldn’t handle being oblivious to that level of indirect contempt.”