Headwarmer: That’ll work. Next, “forget — like the mindless twink you are — that we’d be better off playing the Rays instead of the Sox in the post-season, and play the final two Tampa Bay series as if they were the playoffs.”

Cashman: I… um. Well, we actually won the series this week. Did you see that?

Headwarmer: I’ll put that down as “accomplished.” Next, “get pulverized in the ALCS by a revitalized Boston team that has somehow discovered how to win again, leading to your tarring-and-feathering at the hands of an angry Bronx mob.”

Cashman: Er. What?

Headwarmer: Well, that’s not really due for a couple weeks. You’ve got time to practice your escape skills.

Cashman: I don’t think I’m enjoying this anymore. Are we done?

Headwarmer: Actually, we just got to my favorite part. “Hit yourself in the nuts with this wooden stick.”

NEW YORK — It's 6:48 p.m. and the tarp is on the field as a light rain falls. Obviously the game will not be starting at 7:10 p.m. as scheduled.

Unofficially, we have been told the teams will try and play the game tonight even if they have to play in some rain. Because it's the last series in New York for the Sox, MLB officials have the call on this one.