• Peter Jensen of Athol, Idaho, filed a lawsuit against the state transportation department in April after his driving privileges were revoked because his car had no license plate. For the inconvenience, he believes he deserves $5.6 million in damages (gold and silver only, please) because, for example, there is nothing about "license plates" in the Ten Commandments. [KREM-TV (Spokane, Wash.), 4-22-2016]

• Simple As That: (1) Bingham County (Idaho) Sheriff Craig Rowland told reporters in March that the state legislature had no reason to improve the statewide administration of "rape kit" evidence because the majority of local rape accusations are, he is certain, consensual sex. (2) Scout Hodge, 20, angry at his mother, was charged with arson in Austin, Texas, in January for setting fire to her rug. He told police he did it as a "political" statement (unexplained) and to prove he isn't a "loser." [Associated Press via OregonLive.com, 3-15-2016] [KEYE-TV (Austin), 1-16-2016]

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Modern Problems: (1) Sophia Sanchez, 27, was charged with intentionally crashing her car into her boyfriend's vehicle in April in Riverside, Illinois. According to police, the couple had been arguing the night before, and Sanchez said she felt she had to disable his car so that he would talk to her. (2) William Timothy Thomas, 25, was arrested for vandalizing a home in Largo, Florida, in April. He told police he needed to go "destroy" stuff because he "listened to too much music and masturbated too much." (Bonus: Three first names! Special police surveillance warranted!) [WLS-TV (Chicago), 4-27-2016] [WFLA.com, 4-12-2016]