Thursday, October 20, 2011

[Comic title: Jet Fuel; alt text: The 'controlled demolition' theory was concocted by the government to distract us. '9/11 was an inside job' was an inside job!]

Normally I'm all about making fun of conspiracy theorists, because they are almost as dumb and predictable as internet atheists or jokes about how Randy has just thought of the best use for Megan's milk ever (OREOS!!!!!!). But Randy is incapable of making fun of someone he disagrees with without throwing in a strawman character who inevitably says "that is very clever of you to notice, Randy, you are as intelligent as milk is delicious and sensual."

Part of this is just the urge for post-punchline dialog, of course. I think he's afraid of telling a joke without showing someone responding to it, for fear that people might not realize how they are supposed to respond. But when he does his strawman comics, it always feels more like he's trying to cue to his audience: "See? I've thought up a clever way to fuck with conspiracy theorists that TOTALLY WORKS."

I admit I'm not given to hanging out with conspiracy theorists--I only like factually supported theories, like the fact that our president was smuggled into the US from Kenya by Bill Ayers as part of a communist plot to destroy democracy and capitalism after we thought the Cold War was over. But I get the distinct impression this would not hold water with actual 9/11 truthers, or chemtrail theorists. Which would be fine, if Randy weren't trying to give the impression that your typical conspiracy theorist would say "whoa, good point" when presented with this argument. That's just annoying. You can do better, Randy.

Well, no, you can't, obviously, or you would have done by now. But that's a thing that you say, you know?

Why does everyone think that the level of quality of XKCD strips is the most accurate indication of Randall's intelligence?

On the Internet, making a shitty comic makes you some sort of retard except to your fanboys, and everyone likes to go round correcting every mistake they see, because they'll be seen a geniuses.

You think people who make shitty comics are idiots? If you actually had any non-idiot friends, you'd know that a lot of intelligent, educated people make shitty comics.

From my experience, those who correct said comics are mostly pseudointellectual drop outs, autistic fatasses, etc.

On the other hand, shitty tv shows are totally cool: "I'm so terrible at plot I can't even make a show about shipwrecked retards that makes sense," when tv show creating ability directly with intelligence, and ignoring it serves no intelligible purpose.

By train, plane and sedan chair, Peter Ustinov retraces a journey made by Mark Twain a century ago. The highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector.

Today's xkcd (the particle/wave one): nice art, but hasn't Randall done something like this before? Or is it just such a generic joke that it seems familiar?

He definitely seems to be running out of ideas. Maybe he should try studying one of the "lesser" sciences (like biology, chemistry[,] or even psychology) - by which I mean actually taking a class or reading some books instead of looking at Wikipedia articles - so that he can come up with some fresh material.

Guys. The latest comic doesn't have nice art, it has like the baseline level of quality for mediocre novice digital illustration in 1998. Seriously it's like Randy went through his closet and found his Photoshop 4 book.

The truth is more likely that Randall was doing lots of research about breast cancer, and he learnt a new word. "Lactation." He thought it was a moderately big and obscure one so he needed to find a way to show it off.

But we like to make fun about sexual fetishes instead because it makes it easier to masturbate while reading xkcdsucks.

Man, you ruin XKCD for me. Almost every time I read a new XKCD I think "haha, this is a good one!" But then I read the XKCD sucks article about it, and I think "Oh, yeah. I guess it does kinda suck". And as you haven't made fun of the ALT text for this one, I still find it funny!

I know, it's terrible that Randall simply doesn't update at 4:00 UTC without fail. But sometimes we have to wait up to THREE HOURS LONGER. How are we supposed to go without xkcd hate for THREE EXTRA HOURS?

"... I only like factually supported theories, like the fact that our president was smuggled into the US from Kenya by Bill Ayers as part of a communist plot to destroy democracy and capitalism after we thought the Cold War was over..."

Given that one statement alone that came from your keyboard I don't really think you are capable of judging what is funny and what is not, let alone what is scientifically accurate and what is utter hogwash.

Just wondering, do you have a life or is bashing someone else with a popular comic your life?

Anon 1:29, please refrain from implying that Randall Munroe raped his daughter. He didn't Own her: She is an independent human being capable of making her own bad decisions and, although young, she Was ripe for the taking.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects. Here are some of his excellent refutations of common responses to this site. Think of them as a sort of in-depth FAQ, for people inclined to disagree with this site.