Dee, thanks for sharing too, the young man Bradley just made an impression on me. What I did not say, is that on the day of his death, he had just stopped at accident site earlier and attended the victims there until official paramedics arrived. At that accident, one man died there and the other badly hurt. It was about an hour later that he himself died in a one car accident. The police -- when they went to thank him -- found that he had already died. Also, he was an orthodox Jew in a priesthood line (by their genealogy records) so why it is worded G-d.
Also, thanks for sharing the story of your friend to let others know that sometimes friendships don't always survive after we change. I liked the way you phrased it, that some of the things she did "Just made your heart hurt". I think that is a good measuring tool. I had one friendship I had to let go too.
Perhaps using that phrase that would also be a good way of teaching kindness to children. To use that as a simple measuring tool. However, I think that there is too much confusion in the culture today,. Lately I have been watching old movies from late 50s and 60s...I just watched a Doris Day movie. What I did not know about her until my mom told me yesterday, is that she lost her only son to cancer sometime ago. She is now active in animal rescue work.

I was reading in another forum about a young man named Bradley who passed in a car accident Oct 2006 at age 22. I had chatted to his friend, and read a bit about him from an article she posted -- he was an EMT and studying medicine when he passed. Here is a poem I found that someone posted for him and his family from the article's comments. For his remembrance:
Letter from Heaven
To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I am writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with G-d above.
Here there are no more tears of sadness, here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I am out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
The day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
G-d picked me up and hugged me and this is what He said.
“I welcome you.
It is good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dear family, they will be here later on.
I need you badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.”
G-d gave me a list of things that He wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores put to flight,
G-d and I are closest to you…In the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years..
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that G-d has planned.
If I were to tell you, you would not understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I am closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I would love it for you too:
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to G-d at night… “My day was not in vain.”
And now I am contented…that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way to go.
When you are walking down the street
And you have me on your mind:
I am walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it’s time for you to go…from that body to be free.
Remember you are not going…You are coming here to me.
Author Unknown

I would like to say how thankful I am that this forum has continued...and those people, old and new continue to come and share. On the bad days, and on the ordinary days.
Our world has changed and so have we. May we all find as much healing, kindness, and love here...from those who understand who difficult it can be, and also who can celebrate with us our "successes" which look much different now.
Upcoming on my infant son's departure this week...so life here does look so much different. So much of what the world chases after are the trivial matters of life, but we find that in the end all one can take with is the love that transcends boundaries and deeds of goodness we have done. It may not look like much to someone else....but what they think I have found not to really matter anyway.
Kate, do you have any pics from the Icelandic festival to post? Wondering how that went.
Lesley, I hope you find some alternative treatments to help with fibromyaliga. My sister has many health conditions, so some days she just bumps along according to what her body can tolerate.

My mom is doing okay, had to get her special medication that took 3 days to get in all...I was told there was a shortage of this medication in the US!
I went straight from there to working at Kohls all weekend so havent had time to catch up.
Thank you to all who asked. (Kate and Dee)
Colleen, thank you for the very kind reply....I think of your Brian too when I go down by my mom's...it is not too far away...Maybe about 30 miles or so...
Devianz, prayers for your healing...I agree it is easy to neglect one's health or just think that it is grief...the body-mind connection cannot be underestimated for sure...
Also, Georgina, continued prayers for your recovery as well...
Sandy, it was good to see your post...dementia is a hard struggle. Hugs.
One thing I have learned about this grief walk is it has to be done in one's own way and in their timing. So don't let anyone rush you...or tell you that there is a certain point or resolution that must be met. I think it just goes as it does. I had one friend who asked why someone would continue to go to a grief group 5 years out...I was floored that this particular person would not "get it". It was not meant in a harmful way...it just showed me how much removed I am from what was "normal" before. I have accepted this now...and try to pace myself better. This would include to how much I allow myself to be with others, finding small things to self care...allowing myself mourning time...time to remember...time to inwardly meditate....I find myself not adhering to a strict schedule as much and allowing things to flow...as they may.
I think there are real medical outcomes in not pacing oneself to your own inner clock...as those here (and myself) can testify to. I don't think we even realize at times the inner stress -- and mourning -- that continues, as it becomes enmeshed with us, our thoughts, our hearts.
One's view of life, and what is important -- and what is not -- often changes...sometimes I just set on my couch and think I don't give a dang. But whether I like to or not, I keep pushing forward for those in my life who are left...it is a difficult task, one piece of your heart here...the other in another world -- our next place.
My daughter has recently decided to attend a different church...this church had a meeting ran by a nun on a Thursday night. It is a small parish in a country setting. On our first time there, the topic came up of handling difficult situations...each person spoke. We had arranged ourselves in a circle in that tiny parish.
Some mentioned trivial things. However, the lady, who was setting directly in across from us in this circle spoke. She told everyone her story. Some time ago, (maybe 20+ years) Her grandfather had lost his wife. Her family was going out to the distraught grandfather to comfort him. This woman's dad was driving the family car when it was struck by a drunk driver, killing her mother and sister. I believe the 2 brothers were severely injured. She went through some of her process of dealing & healing with this...all the while my daughter and I are setting directly across from her.. I approached her after the meeting and told her our story with Jesse. She told me that she has received many signs and guidance from her mom...which has helped her tremendously. While she was sharing this with me, we were outside the church, and in the background in the sky were these incredible clouds...huge, with fiery red in them...they stretched for miles across the sky behind this little church. It truly had a magic feel in the air, like our angels were touching us both in that moment. Here is a different picture of the church, but in the same direction we were facing as she told me about her signs from her mom.

Dee, I am doing okay. Right now at my parents house, my mom had a severe infection on her leg, so I came down and am working on getting her to the doctors and meds. Still working 2 jobs. Jesse's b-day is tomorrow, and in 2 weeks infant Taylor's date.
I have been reading along...Lesley and Susan, thinking of you both as your Angel Dates near. Hugs.

ALL - Thanks for sharing the dragonfly stories. I had my own dragonfly show up on Monday...thought it was odd just hanging around. Also, the movie Dragonfly was the last movie my sister watched with my other sister and mom. Here is a link to the movie's review and plot: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly_(2002_film)
Shannon, when my sister passed shortly afterwards her best friend passed too. I would like to think that somehow that they were making their way together. Sending gentle thoughts for Ashley's family.
Susan, thanks for sharing all the good postings and sayings.
Sherry...thanks for your faithfulness and encouraging us all.
Everyone...thanks for being here, those new and the those who have stood and waved us on. It is too hard of a journey to make alone.

Lesley, that was so true, " It is like being two different people inhabiting the same body with different emotions inside. " This is me all the time.
I send gentle thoughts out to all of you here....just worked all weekend...
Georgina, you and your family are in my prayers and heart...I wish I could give you a hug, so just know that you are! I am sure many here feel the same.

Dianne, I was wondering where you were there...I don't know really what was up with whoever said that...So Sorry and Big Hugs!
Susan, saw another mermaid shirt the other day! I am glad your Gramma Essie showed up on here again...I miss your postings of her sayings...I kind of felt she was here in spirit.. =)
Kate, I was reading another bereaved mom's posting on another forum about her lost boy due to suicide...she said he never felt "good enough"... He jumped. I think that sometimes those souls cannot adjust to what can be a harsh world at times...

Dee, I am glad that Erifest turned out so well...and that so many came to remember her. How special that the funds are used to help others in need. I liked the story of the girl and how you bought her new clothes...very special.
Lou Ann, I do feel much like you...for me it is PTSD...and some things can trigger it off...

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