Focused

I’ve been trying to find my way, moving around a lot. Changing my mind. Making decisions. Life was a little fuzzy. I’d like to say I was growing the whole time, but there were moments of silence when my heart couldn’t handle the sound of life.

Silence is a strange friend.

It reminds you that you’re really alone. Alone in a world of people and things that seem so close, but so far away. I didn’t realize I was in alone, waiting, in silence. I wanted to hear the sound of life, love, or happiness return to me at the same speed it left. I couldn’t hear myself anymore.

How did I get so far from me. The me that told me when I was moving in the right direction. The voice that told me I shouldn’t do that. I felt like I was moving in the dark.

Where can you go without a guiding light?

For a while, I stopped waiting for it to come back to me. I had grown accustomed to moving in the dark.

And then one day, I realized I was doing something different. I was waiting for my voice to come back to me.

In this moment, I realized there are things time can do for you, that nothing else can. Time changed me. It changed what I saw. It changed what I expected. . . It changed what I heard. And one day without warning, I heard something strange. It was something that was somewhat familiar, but so new at the same time.

It was me. I heard my voice. Not the voice you share with other people. My inner voice. I waited for it to return to me, even though I didn’t or maybe I couldn’t acknowledge that it had gone missing. Things were moving so fast I couldn’t give myself sound counsel.

Maybe that’s the point of life slowing down for you.

Everything you’ve lost will always return to you better than how it was when it left. Life is kind of strange in that way. My voice had returned and there was a new sweet tone to it. It was a little more gentle, yet much more aware of its power. This new voice was confident. It’s so happy. Gentle but very assertive. It was sure of itself and everything around it. This new Voice, is focused. Focused on love, life, peace, happiness. Focused on moving forward, getting better.