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Sunday, 27 February 2011

40 momths

Dear Gabe and Bea, Little Man and Beanie, Mister and Twiddle,

With every month that passes I can't believe I was bestowed the honour of being your mom. This is even more true now that you guys are an age that is SO much fun for everyone. There are ages that are really only interesting to the parents and maybe some family but to the general public....meh.. This age is hilarious... in every way, the crazy stories, the 'let's peetend', the silly opinions on silly stuff and your imaginations are going like crazy. Every morning you wake to tell me stories I think must be crazy dreams but maybe they are just story telling. Endless 'remember when' and I am amazed by what you remember....and am sometimes confused by the memory....did this actually happen? Was this something you did with Daddy? Is this a dream?

You love wearing some of Daddy's hockey equipment

In my lame attempts to wear you guys out without going outside with the weather being so grim we have started playing some silly games around the house. The popular ones are 'red light, green light' and 'hide and seek'. Both games in our house are weird variations of the real game. Hide and seek is you two running off to hide while we ALL count loudly. I stop counting to find you while the two of you continue to count loudly from your hiding spot.

This month was also kindergarten registration. I still haven't come to terms with this concept. How on earth is it time for you guys to start school? As much as I am not ready to let go I am also acutely aware of how much you guys need it. Along with knowing and recognizing numbers and letters, Gabe you are desperately trying to read. Spelling out the words and then 'reading' them. For a while everything was a meal, breakfast, lunch or dinner.....all letters spelled a meal

And more recently everything spells either 'Toronto', 'Maple' or 'Leafs' much to Daddy's delight.

This month was 'The Great Eye Surgery' and like all heavily anticipated events, the actual event was nothing compared to all the stress of anticipating it. God did I worry! I had myself so worried that I didn't sleep! To top it off Gabe, you got sick the week before. We went up to the indoor playground (you guys call it Jump and Play) and within 10 minutes of arriving you wanted to cuddle with me. And then you fell asleep! In that loud crazy place all curled up on my lap. It was super cute but I also knew that you must feel terrible. By the time we got home you had a fever........and like all well timed events IT WAS THE NIGHT THAT DADDY WAS AWAY IN BUFFALO WITH THE BOYS TO SEE A HOCKEY GAME.....so I stressed alone. I knew the illness itself was probably nothing but we had been waiting to get the eye thing done and over with for so long that the idea of it getting delayed ......well it made me crazy. By the day of the surgery all you had was a runny nose.

Into the operating room. Daddy took you, I couldn't do it

I asked if one of us could take you into the operating room. One of the nurses made it happen for us. I wanted you to feel safe until you were completely asleep. I chickened out knowing that I would cry the entire time and freak you out. Daddy took you in, they could barely fit him into the gown and booties were torn to fit his feet. He didn't fair much better. He came out with one of the nurses and she rushed to get him a box of tissues.

Thank God for Grammy. Like all major life events, Grammy is here to keep some sanity. We had to be at the hospital for 6 am so the plan was to sneak Gabe out and let Bea sleep. Grammy would stay home and have a special day with Bea. I wanted to make sure that this wasn't a traumatic event for either of you. It is easy to think that this is going to be scary and weird for Gabe but I wanted to be aware of how weird it was going to be for Bea. Waking up to just Grammy in the house, knowing that Gabe was at the doctor to 'get his eyes punched'......Daddy and I kept saying 'fixed' you guys kept saying 'punched'....

Still asleep

Just woke up and the first time looking straight at you

In the wheelchair to go home

After all the stress, worry and sleepless nights as we loaded Gabe into the car to come home from the hospital he says "that was fun, let's do it again" I am hoping that you just meant the wheelchair....

We were home by noon and Grammy had taken Bea out for brunch. Gabe it was like you had been drinking. Stumbling around the house. They said some of it will be the change in eye sight and some will be the drugs. We gave you a little bit of time to calm down and eat something but felt naps were needed for ALL of us.

day 2

After naps and the drugs had worn off we became more aware of how different this was for you. From across the room you looked at me and said "Look, two Mommies" then you slowly walked towards me and once close said "now one Mommy"

You healed up quickly and the doctor said at your post-op that everything looked great. He seemed to downplay the correction saying that there could possibly be other minor ones in the future...something he didn't mention at any of the pre-surgical visits. I hope in your case that you figure this out and no further adjustments are needed....I don't know if my heart can handle it.

Day 3

Gabe with all this to contend with you have had a very funny months

One night you got upset after brushing your teeth because you couldn't find your tooth. I asked you which tooth (you haven't lost any teeth) to which you replied "Da bowoun one, I lost it." I took a good look in your mouth, not only have you not lost any teeth you certainly don't have any brown ones but I looked for it anyway. We then spent the next 20 minutes running around the house looking for your brown tooth. We didn't find it under the bathroom sink or in your bed.

You love your pillow and have taken to carrying it around every where. You think it is 'lovely', 'shiny' and 'squishy' and I have NO idea where this is coming from.

Day 4

One day you threw your arms around my neck and said "ahhh....love love love"

While flipping through a nutrition book I am reading you said "Inter-westing......verwee inter-westing".

One day you told me the bathroom lamp needed a new 'lightballs"

and on another day "the nine is funny because he is happy. The sixes are sad because they have a cold"

One day I asked you what your name is "it's Gabe" you said and then I asked "and what was your name in your past life?" "Oliver" you said matter of factly

And through all this craziness is my tough as nails Bedo. Lovey you are a trouper when it comes to most things. Truthfully it is the little things that infuriate you. Yes you are terribly bossy at times, scream to get attention and can get physical when mad but when it matters, like around Gabe's surgery you are sweet and absolutely forgiving of all being about him. You tried to kiss his eyes, would cry FOR him when we had to put eye drops in and would listen to any special instructions we had ie. we can't splash in the tub today because water can't get in Gabe's eyes. In fact you would remind him!! Patting him on the back saying things like "Sweetheart are you ok?" clicking your tongue "Awwww". You were so sweet and loving.

This month has been the beginning of you doing accents. Yes we are that crazy in this house......but you have started talking about 'The Mole Sisters", a British childrens tv show, with a slight English accent. Daddy thinks this is hilarious and makes you do it over and over. You love to make people laugh

You can also be incredibly focused, much more than Gabe can. Sticking with something until you feel it is done. This is true of your painting and in this picture, putting tiny Toy Story stickers all over your Devil Ducky. This took you over an hour and then you presented it to me

You had a funny month too with one hiccup of a couple of nights crappy sleep when you started climbing in with us claiming that monster with long hair was tickling your tummy. Later the story got longer and this monster had scary eyes and long finger nails......but you weren't scared...you never came into our room crying, just awake. After a few minutes of cuddles Daddy would take you back to bed and tuck you in again. As much as I hate being woken up I loved the cuddle. With all the attention Gabe had been getting I understood that you needed some one on one and am always happy to give it to you however you need to claim it

You also said some really funny stuff this month

"I gotta a ouchy on my foot when I was showin off a little"

Tidmouth Sheds according to Bea "Spencer is da Daddy, Emowee is da Mommy and Thomas is the BAYBEEEE"

You were dancing around so I ask you if you needed to go to the potty. You climbed up on the chair beside me, pulls down your pants and stuck your bare bum in my face and said "I dunno, do you see poop in dare?"

You have also taken to singing a lot which I love. The video is just an example of all the singing. And as always my loves.....I love you more than you will ever know

About Me

I have been a writer for as long as I remember – stories, diaries, letters and notes that got passed under desks. Now this is the tale of learning to homestead in the big city, attempting to raise a family in a clean and nutritious way, trying be a great mom, a good wife, a helpful friend and contributing world citizen and how to quickly recover from the epic failures of trying all the above. This is my Life as a Mama, Gluten Free Recipe Developer, Food Writer and Wife