Thursday, March 14, 2013

My Prenatal Book List (Why The U.S. Government Disgusts Me)

I started going through some of the books I read before I had my son Oliver, and so far I have 39 books that I recognize and remember reading and I've just started looking them up. This is a fraction of my reading and research in preparation for my son. I checked out, bought, and read, over 100 books related to this. That is not including my online research.

This country disgusts me.

This research and preparation was after 20 years babysitting U.S. federal brats, with almost all of my experience as a nanny and in childcare.

The United States attempted to force me to give my son away, and then tortured both of us and kidnapped him, after ALL that I have done for this FUCKING country. How little they have had to offer in return--not even my most fundamental and basis rights.

I spent today crying, after remembering both how my son was poisoned and Middleton is involved, and how this government colluded to cover up the most hideous crimes of the century. I also remembered how they forced me to give my sandpail, my favorite one, away to another little girl, telling me, "She's younger than you." It was one of my favorite things, and favorite toys, and of all the things this FUCKING country stole from ME, this one they did to my face, and wanting to see how upset I was by it.

"She's younger. Give it to her. It belongs to her. She's littler than you. Just give it to her." I had let her play with it, not have it for keeps. I remember the big production about it, about my being forced to give my seashell sand pail to the "younger girl" because the FUCKING U.S. government said so. It had a shovel that went with it.

So then here I am, looking up my book list, as the "better mother" and a better person than Kate will ever be, and a better mother by leaps and bounds, and I am finding all of these "in-your-face" books published just for the occasion of BITCH Kate's public pregnancy. God damn her and all those who tortured my son for her family. There is a book about "Have the Better Baby" with a woman that looks like Kate (yes, lets torture my son and poison him so the retarded hypnosis baby can feel they are better) and then a prenatal yoga book called DIG. Here I am, suddenly remembering that sand pail and shovel and what I was forced to do, and she went to Seyshelles for her honeymoon even. I collected sand-dollars in that pail sometimes, until it was stolen and all of my sand-dollars were stolen from my house too. All of them. Every time we went to the beach in Oregon, I picked up sand dollars and took them home to Moses Lake until FUCKING Middleton was inserted into the CIA.

God DAMN this country.

I also found a real "gem" of a book that AG MaryAnne McIntosh must have been alluding to, for getting her own cut in the deal, and slush fund from Middletons and the Davises. I never read a book called "Childbearing: Nursing Perspective" by Ann L. Clark and Dyanne D. Affonso, but it was published by F.A. Davis Co. in 1976. All MaryAnne McIntosh had to say, gleefully, repeating herself ad nauseum, was "Cameo has no insight. She lacks perspective." She made a point of emphasizing perspective over and over, to be heard, for her fucking money shot points on the record, to collect her payments over later. She felt she was doing it "for the Davis company".

FUCK YOU MaryAnne. I cannot wait until her cancer eats her alive.

It's not so much that something that happened when I was a kid bothers me as it is that the U.S. government was involved, and did it deliberately. It was the only toy I used and played with all the time, and it wasn't replaced, and I had nothing when they forced me to give it to some other girl. I remember I cried and cried and cried over it. It was my favorite toy, and the U.S. knew it and did this deliberately to provoke distress and use it for their own sick and disgusting program purposes.

This country stole my only son from me. I hope every single person involved dies for what they've done.

About Me

this is a blog about my life and thoughts on: clergy abuse (Mt. Angel Abbey); defamation by press (Willamette Week); freedom of speech; abuse of government powers; religion, and other social issues; and the art & humor in routine life; and is dedicated to my son