July 18th, 2012

July 2012

I was busy writing and previewing my new show “Henning Knows Bestest” in time for next month’s Edinburgh Festival, for now the UK’s biggest comedy trade fair.

But who knows for how much longer Scotland is going to be part of the UK?

After what that Scottish git Murray did to the nation at Wimbledon I’m sure no-one is going to shed a tear if the Jocks decide to crawl it alone.

And if that happens, Edinburgh will be back to its old role of hosting the bubonic plague, and nothing bigger.

Say what you like about Tim Henman, but at least he never fell at the last hurdle.

Come-on-Tim! always stayed in the tournament just long enough to make sure all tickets had sold before making a gentlemanly swift exit.

How Euro 2012 could have done with him. Loads of empty seats even at the final. Well, that happens if the only nation whose fans can afford the overpriced tickets gets unceremoniously dumped at the semi-final stage.

I hazily remember the glorious days when Germans weren’t disliked for having disposable income.
But for winning. Rather than imploding every time it matters.

The way it’s going I’m not surprised there was no German winner in my own No Surrender competition either!

Instead some foreigner has won the trip to Berlin, courtesy of German National Tourist Office. Find out who,here:

And no, there’s no need to point out the intro is naff. I’m fully aware of that.

[4:34 riveting minutes later]

So, congratulations to the lucky winners.
If you didn’t win, don’t bother going to court.
The decision is final.
You should have come to more of my shows. Your misfortune cannot be re-negotiated.

Mind you, British judges might fancy some extra work. These days even large-scale tax avoiders aren’t tried by a judge in court, but by their good friend Sean Lock on a heavily edited TV panel show.

By the way, I’m not saying Jimmy Carr should be sent to prison purely because I’m trying to take over all those inane 100-best-this and 100-worst-that programmes.

Despite the fact,thatwith my nationality I am obviously a natural when it comes to putting things in numerical order.

If only it had been John Bishop rather than that Jimmy Carr!

At least people wouldn’t have railed against my profession along the lines of “Bloody comedians, they’re all crooks” but would have just gone “Ah well, typical Scouser”.

Which in turn would have led to locals setting up a trust to prove Bishop’s innocence and releasing a fundraiser version of Ferry Cross the Mersey. In short, business as usual.

Anyway, have a great month and try to enjoy the Olympic Games

Henning

Please find below some of my upcoming gigs.
Tickets for all shows on www.henningwehn.de

5 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
6 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
21 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
22 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

April 2018

09 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
10 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
13 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
14 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
18 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
20 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
21 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
30 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress

May 2018

1 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
2 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
7 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
8 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
11 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT- Work In Progress
13 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work in Progress
14 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
17 – DARTMOUTH – The Flavel – TICKETS – Work In Progress
18 – FALMOUTH – The Poly – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – PENZANCE – The Acorn – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
30 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
31 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT