Monday, August 1, 2011

Hey. Is This Thing On?

With the Dome back inflated, Favre and his wang departed - it's time for another season of Viking Football.

I know we had some tough times last year, but with DMac at the helm, AP in the backfield and Kluwe on Twitter how can this season go wrong?

Wait. I did NOT just ask that.

My bad.

The point is - before we get started on all we have to look forward to in the coming months, I wanted to lay it out there, so to speak, about a few things:

Top 5 Bones I Have to Pick With the Team

5. Sidney Rice Goes.

And I "get" it on a logical level. But that's what you need to understand about a woman's perspective on the NFL - it's without logic.

And in that regard, letting Rice go was more painful for me than when Gary Anderson missed the field goal against the Falcons. Wait. No it wasn't.

But I'm super pissed nonetheless.

4. Berrian stays.

Seriously. This little f'r is still on the team? Hashtag not awesome. At. All. What's a guy got to do to get cut? Wait, that brings us to #3 -

3. Hank Baskett

Yup. Still pissed. And I know he's not on the team. Don't care. Signing him was THAT stupid.

2. Christian Ponder

Wait.
My bad.
I was thinking of a different list that has the words "bone" and "Vikings" in it.

And the #1 Bone I have to pick with the Vikings headed into the season...

1. A new stadium. In the northern suburbs.

Look Minnesota, let's just go ahead and leave mullets and Zubaz to the Green Bay crowd. We're one joke away from being the laughing stock of the NFL as is - let's not make that any worse by shot gunning this team to the land of spiral perms and black jeans.

Stay Classy Minnesota - leave the team where it belongs. Downtown.

And with that out of the way, it's time to fasten your seat belts Vikings fans - the ship's course has been set.

Operation Minny to Indy (Look. First post of the season. I can only get funnier from here.) is officially underway.

And let's be honest - with the Bowl in a town that's always loved its Manning's - this HAS to be the year.