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The Tragic Love Story of Monty and Audrey

Audrey

On a dark, stormy night, we came across a small, furry lump lying in the middle of a lonely stretch of road. The small, furry lump turned out to be a hungry and loud little kitten. It was love at first sight for us and we named her Audrey.

From the beginning, it was apparent that Audrey had a very strong personality and she usually got what she wanted. All it took was a look into her large, round eyes and her food bowl would quickly be filled, her favourite spot on the bed cleared and your lap free. And if we were lucky, we would get a hard head rub (which, to be honest, felt more like a head butt) as thanks. The only one who was not enamoured by her adorable looks, silly personality and head butts was Monty. It was soon clear that Monty was not happy with this new addition to the household. She was even less happy with the fervour with which Audrey pursued her attentions.

The more Monty moved from room to room in an attempt to escape the unwanted affection from Audrey, the more aggressively she pursued her. It became like a game; let's see how many times Monty has to move until Audrey gives up. While this certainly made our evenings more entertaining, we did start to wonder; how long until Monty snapped? Would she retaliate? Would her sweet, little swipes soon turn into a vicious attack?

For a brief period, there seemed to be a war being waged in our small living space. Battle cries, fur flying, territory being overtaken by the enemy and then, silence. Over time, these battles lasted for shorter and shorter periods with only the occasional sneak attack taking place. We began to learn the tell-tale signs of an impending attack from Audrey - a taunting, high pitched meow, a slight tilt to the head, one paw menacingly raised millimetres from the ground. It seemed that Monty had also learnt to spot these signs, for as soon as Audrey uttered the distinctive meow, she would instantly go into defensive mode. This was basically Monty closing her eyes into snake like slits, furiously swiping the air and growling while simultaneously crouching lower and lower towards to the ground. Unfortunately for Monty, this was not a successful strategy as being closer to the ground just made it easier for Audrey to take her down. This typically ended in Audrey mounting Monty and attempting to bite through the thick layer of fur around her neck, when only seconds before she was head butting her with love.

Eventually, things began to mellow out. Monty no longer aggressively screeched or swiped the air as soon as Audrey entered the room. Audrey no longer attempted to head butt Monty (at least, not often). Finally, peace reigned throughout the house. On occasion, the two of them will be caught lying within reach of one another, on the same piece of furniture! The question remains, will Audrey's love for Monty ever be returned? Only time will tell.