10 Attitudes That Will Bring You Happiness

02/09/2016 03:38 EST
|
Updated
02/09/2017 05:12 EST

Philip and Karen Smith via Getty Images

Hiker stands on pinnacle summit, arms outstretched

For people who want to be successful in life, there isn't always a clear road map. There are many coaches, writers and experts vying for your attention, each one with their own set of directions that you're supposed to follow in order to achieve happiness and success.

There are so many conflicting voices telling you which way to go that it can be extremely confusing for the average person. You never know when you're about to take a wrong turn, or get trapped in a pothole.

Rather than lay out the path you ought to take in order to achieve optimal success, I wanted to make the process a lot simpler for you.

I'm going to identify ten attitudes that will maximize the possibility of success in any aspect of your life, be it romance, career, finances, creativity or wellness. By adopting these attitudes, you'll be well on your way to achieving your goals.

Here are the 10 attitudes that will bring you closer to the happiness and success you desire.

1: Positive self-regard

Compassion toward yourself makes it possible for you to face your mistakes, failures and shortcomings with acceptance, enabling you to see where you went wrong and to implement corrective measures. When you forgive yourself instead of beating yourself up, you're empowered to enact positive change in your life.

2: Dedication and devotion

When you're willing to put in the hard work, over a period of time, you're much more likely to be rewarded with great results. The more you invest your love, energy and efforts into your relationship, career, creative projects or well-being, the more you'll see the pay-off over time.

3: Altruism and sharing

When you give of yourself you feel good, and when you feel good, you have more energy with which to be creative and productive. When you share your energy and ideas with others, you create positive connections, and a community of like-minded individuals is formed where everyone helps each-other out, gives support in difficult times, and participates in the other person's success.

4: Personal responsibility and accountability

When you take responsibility for your own choices and actions, you become empowered to create the best life possible. Blaming others for your misfortunes removes the power to change from your hands; taking responsibility gives you the power to make different choices, in order to create better outcomes. Being accountable also enables other people to trust, admire and respect you, which only serves to bolster your success.

5: Mental and emotional flexibility

When you're able to take a step back, see things from a different perspective and try a new approach, success is a lot more likely. If you can let go of the counter-productive attitudes, beliefs, expectations and habits that are holding you back, you're free to create a better life in which happiness is assured.

6: Healthy skepticism

There are many lies being accepted by the majority of people without questioning, but these lies keep us enslaved and oppressed. True power is the ability to question the status quo; to not simply accept at face value the things you're being told; to challenge those in authority and to form your own opinions based on the facts that you've observed for yourself. When you take everything with a grain of salt, you create a life that's your very own, not what some random entities or institutions had in mind for you.

7: Immunity to other peoples' opinions

We spend much too much time worrying about what other people might think of us, and afraid that they might judge us or reject us if we don't do things the way they want. If you're trying too hard to meet other people's expectations, you're going to be moving further and further away from what is most meaningful to you. It's only by letting go of your attachment to how other people see you that you're free to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

8: Ability to use constructive feedback

No-one likes to be raked over the coals, and listening to abusive feedback is entirely unhelpful, but being able to let in constructive criticism is a secret weapon in the struggle to create the best life possible for yourself and your loved ones. When you can hear the valuable feedback people are giving you, and when you can apply it to your efforts, you benefit from the wisdom, experience and objectivity of those who believe in you and who support your success.

9: Resilience

The truly successful person isn't immune to problems in life. They simply choose to see the difficulties they're facing as painful but important life lessons, and they always try to learn from these experiences; they see adversity as an opportunity to learn, grow and do things better in the future. If you want to be happy and successful, you'll have to cultivate the ability to transform the bitter lemons in your life into delicious lemonade.

10: Being kind, as opposed to nice

Too many of us are focused on people-pleasing; believing that by making others happy, we'll be loved and approved of and will finally feel good about who we are. Unfortunately, this doesn't work. If you want to be happy and successful, you'll need to love and accept yourself. This doesn't come from pleasing others; it comes from being authentic, and from following your heart's desires; it comes from engaging in the world with creativity, compassion and courage, not through seeking external validation.

Click here to see my new book, "Back on the Market: The Grown-up Woman's Guide to Great First Dates... and Beyond."

Sign up here for my free monthly wellness newsletter. March is all about permissiveness and over-entitlement at home, school and work.