Please help! My two cats won't get along!

Discuss Please help! My two cats won't get along! on the - Page 2- 'Cat Behavior' forum of I-Love-Cats. We are the place for all talk about 'Please help! My two cats won't get along!'. That happens sometimes when someone is new and posting a lot all at once. It's automatic though, because no mods come in here any more. It's just me and the ...

That happens sometimes when someone is new and posting a lot all at once. It's automatic though, because no mods come in here any more. It's just me and the spammers mostly.

You will have to rewrite it probably. I hate that!

Just some advice, when posting here, you may want to write your post out somewhere else and copy it over to here, then you won't lose it if it disappears.

Also be aware that this forum periodically crashes.

One of my cats was a stray I rescued, she was about two when she came here and had no idea how to play at all. It took me a long time, years, to figure out what her Games are.

I'm going to be shutting down now but I'll be back tomorrow, if you still want my help, even though I was so grouchy before.

I really am sorry.

That's okay. Thank you for trying to help me and my kitties! Ill wait awhile and then type out my previous message the best I can remember it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by acerlt

I'm glad you don't want to give up on them. I do wish I'd seen your original post and so been able to help you with Cinder in the beginning. I don't come in here very often.

Cats need interaction, toys don't matter if nobody plays with them, and if you don't know how to play, or she's never had anyone to play with, then yes, you can run into a problem. It's not your fault you didn't know how to entice a shy cat to play.

Do you know Cinder's history?

The thing is, you need to make sacrifices when you have pets.

This means turning the computer off and getting down on the floor with them and giving them your undivided attention. Multiple times a day. First with Nutmeg, then with Cinder.

They are both young enough to learn to get along together, but you can't ignore one in favor of the other and expect them to bond. Nor can you force them to want to play together.

They both, each, need your undivided attention several times a day. I can help you with Game ideas if you want them.

I mentioned diet, because diet plays a very important role in behavior. A cat on a dry diet is a cat who doesn't feel her best, ever. Dry food is dehydrating and leads to many diseases later in life.

Cats need a wet diet made from meat. They don't need corn or wheat or sugar or rice, it is very bad for them and they cannot get much nutrition from any of that.

I apologize for sounding so grouchy. But I see it all the time, people get a new kitten and no longer want to spend any time with the cat already there. It's heartbreaking. It would be awful for Cinder to have to lose another home.

But you need to be prepared to work at it, and that means turning off the computer and coming out of your room!

Cats need interaction, toys don't matter if nobody plays with them, and if you don't know how to play, or she's never had anyone to play with, then yes, you can run into a problem. It's not your fault you didn't know how to entice a shy cat to play.

I tried to interact with her a lot. Like I have said, she ignored every toy with the exception of the laser pointer. Even toys like a mouse on a string failed to get much of a response from her. Failing the toys, I tried to simply play with her with a mild response at best. I would try to give her attention by petting her and giving her scratches. No matter what I did though it was always the same thing; she would often sit there and stare at me as I used the computer. It was like she wanted something that I was unaware of. It's not like she was attention starved. I eventually came to the conclusion that she might be lonely and bored without a companion. That's why I got the kitten.

Do you know Cinder's history?

All I know about her is that she was to be euthanized one day before she was rescued from an animal shelter in Pocatello Idaho. Based on her behavior though we think she has had a home before.

The thing is, you need to make sacrifices when you have pets.

This means turning the computer off and getting down on the floor with them and giving them your undivided attention. Multiple times a day. First with Nutmeg, then with Cinder.

This is something I am willing to do.

They are both young enough to learn to get along together, but you can't ignore one in favor of the other and expect them to bond. Nor can you force them to want to play together.

They both, each, need your undivided attention several times a day. I can help you with Game ideas if you want them.

Game ideas would be appreciated. I just don't know how to get Cinder to engage and interact with me very well.

I mentioned diet, because diet plays a very important role in behavior. A cat on a dry diet is a cat who doesn't feel her best, ever. Dry food is dehydrating and leads to many diseases later in life.

Cats need a wet diet made from meat. They don't need corn or wheat or sugar or rice, it is very bad for them and they cannot get much nutrition from any of that.

What would you recommend? I imagine that wet food is probably more expensive, so I'd like to find a brand that is good quality and nutritious, but also affordable.

I apologize for sounding so grouchy. But I see it all the time, people get a new kitten and no longer want to spend any time with the cat already there. It's heartbreaking. It would be awful for Cinder to have to lose another home.

But you need to be prepared to work at it, and that means turning off the computer and coming out of your room!

I will work at it until they become friends--or at least learn not to fear each other--or it becomes apparent that they will never get along. I hope that never happens.

I have reconsidered feeding them at the same time. Earlier today Cinder came into my room looking for food, but she seemed fearful and was looking around for Nutmeg. Cinder will have both her own separate food and water and litter box outside since she no longer feels safe in my room. Since she had previously laid claim to the rest of the house as well I think she'll be okay. I will make sure to spend time with Cinder frequently so that she does not feel ignored.

An update. I think things are going well, although I cannot be certain. I do not believe that Cinder misses my room, but she is still getting used to her food and water being out in the living room. When I got home tonight she needed both food and water. When I went into my room to get food, she pushed right past the kitten who was in her way with no reaction or hissing of any kind. I call that progress right there. She knows now that she will not be disturbed when eating, and so I think that has taken some of the tension out of their relationship.

I have begun using the spray bottle method, and she is learning very quickly that if she approaches Cinder's food and water or litter box she's going to get a spritzing. I feel confident that the spray bottle will work to discourage other undesirable behaviors as well such as jumping up on the table, climbing the curtains, and acting up toward Cinder.

Regarding her behavior toward Cinder, she seems to have established herself as the dominant cat. Quite the role reversal. Today before I had time to react she charged Cinder. Cinder assumed a defensive/submissive posture and hissed. From now on if I see her about to charge Cinder (she usually assumes a stalking/crouching posture prior), I will be ready with the spray bottle so she learns that's a no no.

I'm trying to have them spend a little time together each day. I have them chase the laser pointer, or I use a recently purchased toy that Cinder actually reacts to (finally!).

Keeping the kitten confined is quite the challenge. She often manages to exploit split second openings when my bedroom door is open, even though I do my best to block the entrance. She's quite a little ninja! I often have to go and fetch her when she escapes.

Cinder is responding well to the increased attention. She is using her former resting and observation spots more frequently, she no longer acts frightened around me, and she's even starting to follow me around like she used to. I'm actually becoming optimistic that this might work out.

How is it going? Please stop with the spray bottle. Negative reinforcement isn't really a good way to train cats. It causes stress, and doesn't really teach them anything but to avoid you. That kind of stress can lead to illness.

Cats learn better with positive treatment. Instead of punishing, give them something else to do, something you want them to do, instead.

Kittens need a ton of interactive play. When Nutmeg climbs curtains or pounces on Cinder, distract her with a Game with you. Play with her so she doesn't need other outlets for her energy.

Be sure they both have plenty of places to climb and jump.

I'm glad to hear Cinder is feeling better!

I took the day off tomorrow so I'll have some time to give you some Game ideas for both of them.

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My female cat isn't a cuddler she LOVES to be petted and will harass you for attention. She'll even sleep on your back/butt/belly all night long. But you cannot hold her, restrict her, or cuddle her in any way. She squirms out and either goes on somewhere else, or rearranges herself outside of your grasp.

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