7 Ways To Deal When You Hate Your Friend’s Boyfriend

Imagine meeting your best friend’s boyfriend for the first time only to discover that… you absolutely can’t stand him. Whatever the reason, you can’t stand to be near him – and meanwhile, your BFF is head over heels. You can’t help but wonder how an amazing chick like her can date, and like, such a loser dude.

Ugh. Disliking a friend’s boyfriend can be kind of the worst and unfortunately, it will probably happen to all of us at some point in our lives. You want to be supportive for your friend and her new relationship and her happiness, but how can you be when you hate her boyfriend? You want to be honest with her, but at the same time, you don’t want to lose her as your BFF. So what exactly are you supposed to do?

I’ve had more than enough experience in this department (my friend’s pick some real winners, let me tell you) and so I’ve come up with a few ways to deal with hating your friend’s boyfriend… because that lame dude is probably not worth losing your BFF over.

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Think About Why You Hate Him

Okay, why do you really hate this guy? Is It because he stole your bestie away from you or is it because he was rude to you once? Is it because he treats your friend badly? Before you do anything about this, you need a real reason why you dislike him. If it's because you just might be a little jealous (and it's okay to admit it!), then you need to try to get over that. If it's because you don't think he's a nice guy or he's just not someone you would ever be friends with, it's worth trying to smooth things over for your friendship. But if it's because he treats your friend badly, well, that's a whole other issue... that I'll get to later, promise!

Give Him A (Second) Chance

Maybe you hate this dude because he gave a terrible first impression or because you just hate the way he lives his life. Whatever the reason, you might want to give him a chance (or a second chance) to redeem himself. Best case scenario? You just need to get to know him. Try hanging with them a few times and start up some convos with him. Find out more about him and try to feel comfortable. If it works, amazing! If not... well, keep reading.

Try To Be Polite

Okay, so you tried to get to know this dude and all you discovered were more reasons to dislike him. Unless he's abusing your friend in some way or doing something bad behind her back, you just need to suck it up, deal with him and hope they'll break up soon. Unless, you know, you want to lose your bestie... and I don't think you do. You don't need to be this guy's best friend - you just need to be polite. Say hi when he's around, engage in a little chit-chat and focus mainly on your friend. Playing nice is hard but sometimes the most mature thing to do.

Keep It To Yourself

Remember what I said about being polite? Yeah, that also means keeping your hatred to yourself. Unless he's hurting her in some way, there's no need to tell her you can't stand her BF. You don't have to be super fake and act like you love him, but maybe don't be super honest unless you need to be. Also, don't gossip about it with other friends - if it gets back to your BFF, she'll flip.

Avoid Him As Much As Possible

All right, so you got to know him, hated him, tried to be polite, failed a little. Now's the time where you start avoiding this dude as much as possible. Ask your bestie for girl's nights instead of third-wheel hangouts and avoid talking to him whenever you don't have to.

Don't Push Her Away

All of that being said, you don't want to push your bestie away. If you really dislike her BF, she'll eventually be able to tell. Maybe you two shouldn't talk about him together. Don't pressure her into breaking up with him or bad mouth him every time you're with her. You may think this will make her want to dump him, but she's probably defensive about her boyfriend. All that stuff is going to do is make her annoyed with you.

Talk To Your Friend

Remember how I said if her boyfriend is hurting her in some way or treating her badly to do something different? Here it is. If your friend's boyfriend is abusing her, cheating on her, hitting on you - whatever - talk to her. Tell her you love her, you don't want to see her get hurt and you can't keep quiet about something like this. If she's in an abusive relationship, she'll need your support and it may take time for her to end things. But it is possible to stand by her side while also letting her know you don't approve of her BF.

My best friend is just like a sister to me. Lately I feel like all she ever talks about is him and the only person she wants to hang out with is him. AND when i’m lucky enough to get her alone, she always invites him to hang out. He came with us to see The Fault In Our Stars and he constantly talked to her the whole time!!!! Monday was my birthday and I wanted to go to the local waterpark with her and hangout, just us girls. We get there and whadda ya know, hes there. The worst part is that they found me a really nice guy who’s super into me but I don’t like him that way, and they’re both infuriated with me. I want to be there for her when he breaks her heart which I know will happen and that’s why I put up with it. But, Really? How am I supposed to feel like i’m not just being used? Someone help

Marie

okay so back in high school I had a close friend named Lexie and then my best friend named Nicole. Lexie, Nicole and I would always hangout together. Lexie started working at a pizza place and then her boss started to hit on her. she was only 15 and he was 26. they started to date and she lost her virginity to him at that age. I completely cannot stand this creepy pervert! he is like known for flirting with all the girls at work who are way younger than him. Lexie even found nude pictures of different girls on his phone as they we dating! not only that but he’s just disgusting.. like he’s a huge pot head and is always getting high and drunk with teenagers. he smokes like a pack of ciggs a day and he’s an ex heroin addict!!! he’s short and fat and just why did she like him?? like alright he’s funny but come on now!! he’s so manipulative and he’s just so old ew!!! okay so Lexie and him ended up breaking up and then me and Nicole graduated highschool and things happened between us and Lexie and now me and Nicole aren’t friends with her anymore. but guess what!!! Nicole got a job where Lexie worked and that same creepy guy started hitting on her and guess what!!??? she cheated on her boyfriend of 3 years with that old creep!!! Nicole is 18 and that guy is now 28. Nicole’s boyfriend found out she cheated on him with this loser and broke up with her. now Nicole and the loser are always hanging out and hooking up! I’m so scared they’ll start dating!!! ugh I don’t get it!! me and Nicole use to talk about how gross this guy was together as Lexie dated him but now Nicole is basically dating that creep! what’s wrong with my friends!?

Marisa

My best friend’s boyfriend is the definition of a lowlife dcik. He treats her like garbage, making up critical comments that he says “his friends” or his “family” have said about her. Every month I have to deal with her crying and being upset because he had made her feel like she’s less than what she is. He thinks because he has money he’s above everybody else. He’s called me fat and stupid and thinks my boyfriend isn’t worth anything because my boyfriend has to work His way through graduate school. But now she’s moving in with the a-hole and is convinced she’s in love with him. She doesn’t understand why I can’t stand him and it’s creating a rift in our seven year long friendship. Any advice? :/

andie

ok by 2 best friends and i have been friends for years i cant even remember when we started hanging out but about 2 years ago my one bff started dating this guy. now before they started dating the guy and i were kinda friends, mostly because hes cousins with my other bff. everything was good but this past year has been aweful! he has been a total A**! he talks down to all 3 of us, especially me and his cousin, and acts like hes smarter than all of us and a know it all and more mature and superior when 1. we are older than him and 2. we get better grades than him so he has nothing to talk about!!! and hes soo clingy that its pissing me off!!!!! we cant go anywhere without him going, even if we plan it to be just a girls day he always some how weasles his way in with some stupid excuse like he doesnt want his gf to drive in such bad weather when the weather is perfectly fine and in all honestly quite awesome! he even managed to join our senior ag class when hes a freaking junior!! and of course he has to sit right beside me! i have to go to the library for lunch so that i am spending as little time as possible with him so that i dont blow a gasket. I try avoiding him as much as possible but its imposible because there is no such thing as alone time with them. and he’s so sang prideful that if hes a royal jerk to me and/or my other bff that he wont even say sorry he just expects us to forgive him. and hes so perfect in me bff eyes that she doesn’t even see it, and the worst part is they are now ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me what do I do!!!

Zeta

my friend is in 5th grade and she has a 6th grade BF. He treats me and ALL of her friends bad not one single person supports her love for him and if her parents knew he was a jackass they would make her break up with him. He thinks he is a chick magnet and makes all these comments about how cute and loving he is ( the guy says this about himself). what do I do?

ok

Whoa what you are in 5th grade and dating? Don’t worry you guys are still really young and her relationship will most probably end quickly so you wont have to worry about him for long.