Jenny McCarthy’s Advice

I have insecurities like anyone else, but I find it so hard to be a girl. There is so much competition! Especially being in a relationship with a red-blooded, ogling man. How do you have confidence when your man is looking at everyone else who walks by? What can I do so that all of these pretty girls don’t make me feel like an ugly duckling? Please give me some of your confidence tips!

— Alyssa

Jenny says: Well, I have an answer for you, but it’s certainly not easy due to the fact that this is one of life’s biggest lessons. I suffered for years from what I named “Why-can’t-my-man-think-I’m-the-hottest-thing-in-the-world-and-only-look-at-me?” syndrome.

Let me start with the obvious: It’s because they are men. There’s no doubt they are wired differently. Example: My son, Evan, said to me, “I don’t understand why I can’t have multiple girlfriends; there is just so much to love that’s different in each one of them.” He is 10 years old. I rest my case. It’s embedded in their genetic code to spread their seed across the kingdom.

Due to the fact that it’s not humanly possible to control your man’s thoughts, you are left with only one choice: Change you. OK, I know, you just dry-heaved a little, but I swear to you that I suffered greatly from this problem and I have cured myself of this syndrome. I’m going to tell you how.

In my blog (Splash.suntimes.com) I keep mentioning this guru named Byron Katie. This bitch has changed my life. She wrote a book called I Need Your Love — Is That True? It hands down shifted my thinking to make me realize life’s most important lesson, which is that it’s not my partner’s job to think I’m awesome. It’s mine.

You are putting so much energy into worrying about what he is thinking that I want you to imagine what would happen if you unplugged that cord and plugged it into loving you and feeling confident about yourself. I’ll tell you what will happen: In no time you will not give a rat’s ass whose ass your man is looking at. I promise.

Let me finish by telling you this: After hanging around some of the most physically beautiful women in the world, time and again, I’ve noticed men are sexually attracted to the most confident, not the most beautiful. So go get Katie’s book, along with some peace of mind, and the discovery that your own beauty awaits you!

Great article, and if I may put in my 2 cents worth, there’s nothing more amazing than a woman being herself and really loving it

You are certainly not wrong about the ‘confidence’ of a lady, but if you are taking notes don’t confuse it with arrogance.

Oh and one last thing, am I supposed to be reading your column as a man?

http://GeraldUnderwood@cdbaby.com Gerald w. Underwood

That’s the problem with most women…….lack of confidence…nothing turns my stomach more than lack of confidence in a woman……Happiness comes from within and I see a lot of unhappy women in this world who are so worried about their man looking elsewhere…….why are they looking elsewhere? (besides genetics lol) drum roll please…….Cause their woman is constantly asking his approval……for example…does this dress make my ass look big? is my make up to dark? quit doing that!!! did you ask his approval when you first started to date? Take charge women and keep that man sniffing only YOU!!!

( This message was brought to you by Birds eye…..Makers of the US ARMY)

Andrea

Great advice Jenny!!

Kate

So true & great reminder. And especially true as one gets older…

ThatGuyAgain

That is a good and valid point, but that isn’t the only factor. Men like sex, and if he isn’t getting it enough from you.. well, he’s gonna be lookin around at the very least. Some men do become more and more attracted to their woman, leaving behind the thoughts of being with other women. Love has a lot to do with it. And oxytocin, which is released during and after sex, also contributes. That’s my 2 cents. Trust me, I’m a doctor. Doctor of love.

Tom OC

Good Topic, men are attracted to the ‘unique’ beauty each woman possesses. Think of it as going to an Art museum and looking at different art works.
But I think in a lasting relationship, it’s companionship & the little things you do that you don’t even realize that lifts a guy’s spirit & makes him realize, I’m attracted to others but would be an idiot to Jeopordize this great relationship I have. If you sense he feels this, no worries.
There is a flip side, when Guy’s sense the Gal is losing interest & looking around.

So it leads to a new topic, when you should hang in there or when to pull the ‘ripcord’.

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