Sixty miles east of San Francisco on I-80, I asked my GPS unit to give me a mileage count. Driving in a monsoon I wanted a countdown to my destination. Pausing, my Garmin cogitated and spat out a range of San Franciscos – none in California or even in the US. Nope, obviously I wanted one of several San Franciscos in the Philippines, upwards of a very exact 7123 miles away (see banner above). I never could get the nearest San Francisco to appear despite scrolling through several screens (before stopping to avoid running into a jack-knifed truck).

Below, you can see the ace GPS device’s efforts to find Portland, Oregon (when I was a mere 2.3 miles away) and lovely Nelson, British Columbia (a mere 82.7 miles distant). Scroll way down for the dopiest directions ever.

Finally a bullseye two down. Note the USA’s second largest Portland at spot 3

You perhaps mean the notable Nelson

just 82.7 miles east?

Across the USA

More distant USA - all tiny Portlands

Across the USA

Across the USA

Highway to Hell

While sitting in lovely although perpetually foggy Half Moon Bay, CA, I asked the GPS for the most direct route to Santa Cruz. Now the obvious answer is 48 miles straight ahead on the most beautiful stretch of Highway 1. Instead the GPS insisted that the best route was a 61-mile route detouring into congested Silicon Valley and traversing three different highways. Dashboard bonehead!

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Meanwhile in Death Valley National Park, GPS units have been sending tourists down roads that don’t exist with fatal results, as NPR reports.