Collaring Ceremonies

A dom claiming a submissive as their own is referred to as collaring. An actual collar can be used in a ceremony, or it can just be an understanding.

The collar is recognized as a sign of ownership in the bdsm community.

The dom will have exclusive rights and be in charge of decisions made for their sub. Sometimes it’s necessary for outsiders to ask for the dom’s permission if they want to interact with their sub. This depends on the formality level of a specific community, but it is usually considered very rude not to ask.

A collaring ceremony can be a simple affair between a dom and sub or a more elaborate event with friends in attendance. Often vows and promises are spoken aloud and sometimes contracts are signed.

So what kind of collar is used? You may be thinking leather and studs, but it’s more about what the collar represents than what it looks like. It can be leather, a piece of jewelry worn around the wrist, or even a body piercing. It may be a chain with a small lock which the dom holds the key to. You might start wondering about all the people you see with some tie around a body part. Some couples purchase their collar at a specialty bdsm shop while others make their own.

When and where a collar is worn is something both dom and sub will agree upon and whether or not this chanage dictates the behavior of each person. It’s usually understood that the collar itself is part of the dom’s possession, but that the sub is responsible to care for it.

During a collar ceremony, the dom agrees to be the sole caretaker and protector of the submissive. This includes education, decision-making, reward and punishment. The sub surrenders their personal power for as long as they wear the collar.

This isn’t a step in the dom/sub relationship that is generally rushed in to. It may take a couple years to get to this step. An agreement about what the collar means must be worked out ahead of time. Let’s just say, collaring is not for bdsm newbies. For those that do know what they’re undertaking, collaring can be a reward and provide great security to both a dom and a sub.

It would be great to hear from a dom or sub that has experience with collaring. How did it change your relationship?

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