Tuesday, June 5, 2012

“Oh No, I’ve Just Been Diagnosed With a Mental Illness…”

By Yashi Brown

Yashi Brown/Courtesy of the artist

These
were my first thoughts when I was discharged from UCLA and Harris Methodist
hospital in 2002 and again in 2007.

I
can remember like it was yesterday. Right after our art therapy class, when the
nurses met with us one by one, I was shown my diagnosis. The reason it happened
to me twice is because once I got stable footing after the initial episode in
2002 I came to the conclusion the medical system was completely unreliable and
inaccurate in their “opinion” of my mental state and therefore I disregarded
any “illness” they claimed I had.

Then
in 2007 after another severe manic episode I was diagnosed severe bipolar disorder
type 1 the “Oh no, I have a mental illness” dialogue reared its head again in my head.

Very
often I like to poke and prod on this topic of self-imposed stigma when
advocating because most of us either living with a diagnosed mental illness or
those with a close family member have experienced it—or are still struggling in
this area. Education and awareness take
away the mystery and reduce the fear. We talk about society and “stigma” but
I’m a firm believer that the first place to begin applying the anti-stigma
campaign is with ourselves. There are plenty of avenues to help us reduce the
crippling stigma we may be imposing on ourselves. So that we can enjoy the
lives we were truly meant to live.

Today
we have several magazine publications, books, Internet sites and individuals
speaking out about recovery and maintenance in every area of mental health.

There
are also some amazing authors, self-help books and daily positive affirmations
to help us reprogram whatever negativity is going on in our heads.

I’m
really big on my “quiet time.” For me this is an everyday morning ritual which
sets the pace for the rest of my day and hones those tough areas where my
emotional challenges are still very sensitive. Hey, I’m nowhere out of the
woods, I’m just now in harmony with them which is why I really love those “60
days,” “90 days” or “365 days” of affirmations, enlightenment, devotions or
whatever you want to call them.

The
bottom line is they’re a wonderful guide for maintaining focus and mental
health. Each morning there’s something new to keep me focused on feeling good and boy do I look forward
to it.

Also,
included during this time is a moment of reflection; prayer; meditation. We may
all call it different things but the essence is to allow your subconscious to
have its way with those positive thoughts you’ve just planted there.

Once
we free ourselves from the bondage of thinking we are our diagnosis and are
defined by it—versus something we treat and maintain daily in recovery—then
what’s around us will soon shift and reflect our newly defined thoughts and
aspirations.