After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness.

Don't get mad at somebody who knows more 'n you do. It ain't their fault.

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Don't let so much reality into your life that there's no room left for dreamin'.

Don't never interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Don't squat with yer spurs on!

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

Go after life as if it's something that's got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

If you want to forget all your troubles, take a little walk in a brand-new pair of high-heeled ridin' boots.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

It don't matter so much how long a ride you have, as how well you ride it.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

Makin' it in life is kinda like bustin' broncs: you're gonna get thrown a lot. The simple secret is to keep gettin' back on.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Never ask a man the size of his spread.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.

Never grumble. It makes you about as welcome as a sidewinder in a cow camp.

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

Never miss a chance to rest your horse.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

No matter who says what, don't believe it if it don't make sense.

Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.

Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it's done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise ignore it.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

The first thing to do when you get up in the morning is put on your Stetson.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

The wildest critters live in the city!

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Trust everybody in the game, but always cut the cards.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn their lesson.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Write it in your heart. Stand by the code, and it will stand by you.

You don't need decorated words to make your meanin' clear. Say it plain and save some breath for breathin'.

According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.