A Friday in the Life

On Friday I felt a strong connection to Michael Scott in that episode – and let me tell you, the shame was plentiful.

I had acquired a free bag of wonderfully delicious pixy stix, and at about 11 I decided it would be a fine idea to start chokin’ em back.

Over the course of about an hour, one at a time, I poured the contents of 42 pixy stix down my throat. The colorful amass of cylindrical wrappers in my trash can displayed my guilt for all to see. Oh, what the late-night cleaning crew must have thought.

Anyway, I don’t remember having a sugar high, but I definitely remember having a sugar crash. At about 1, my eyelids began to feel like lead and after trying to fight the sleepsies for an hour, I decided I needed to take some drastic measures. I went into the unisex bathroom and took a 5-minute power nap on the cold, hard floor.

It doesn’t get much sadder than that, does it?

I spent the rest of my groggy workday with a subtle square tile mark embedded on my right cheek.

Right now the remaining 18 pixy stix are sitting to my left, and I can’t stop staring at them. The little wonka boy on the bag is furiously pouring Maui Punch flavored sugar onto his tongue.

That happened to me with caffeine a few weeks back. I had 2 grande java chip frappucinos (which i apparently can’t spell). I unfortunately do remember my caffeine high. It was kind of scary. I just couldn’t stop moving and then I crashed really really hard.

I got back from lunch at 1 on Friday and at 1:30 I realized I couldn’t remember anything I’d done in that 1/2 hour span, ’cause I’d been dozing too. I can’t believe you slept on the bathroom floor though, that’s too funny!

Yeah, I wouldn’t say “It doesn’t get much sadder than that”. I would say, “It doesn’t get more grosser than that” – first for having that many pixy stix, and second (and more importantly) for sleeping on a public bathroom floor.