It is generally believed that many of those with bipolar disorder also struggle with alcoholism or substance abuse. Researchers, as well as many of those caught in the cycle of addiction, believe the use of these substances is an attempt to alleviate symptoms or to "self-medicate."

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I am about to approach my 90 day probationary period for my new job. This is the first job I've had since I became pregnant with my son almost 3 years ago. At my hire date I felt confident that my skills would be up to par by this time, but right now I feel that expectation hasn't been met.

As far as improvement with knowing the computer program and what the doctor wants (I'm a vet technician) there has been some. But when it comes to my technical skills I feel like I haven't progressed like I wanted. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but the doctor I work with doesn't let me do very much when the other technicians are around. She just wants the job done quickly. How am I supposed to get efficient at anything if I don't get the experience!?!?!?!

Today I just wanted to take off on my lunch break and not come back. There is this camaraderie between the doctor and employees because she's worked with them so long. There is a point I hope will come where I feel a part of it, but I thought I would be there by now. I am only part time so maybe it will take a bit longer to establish it. All I know is I have to try not to be too hard on myself like I've done in the past. Lighten up and remember it's just a job.

Monday, May 7, 2012

The last time I went to the dentist was when I was pregnant with my son three years ago. Three weeks ago I went for a checkup. They recommended $1400 worth of work and that's the part my insurance doesn't cover. Ha! It's ridiculous, but I did it because if I wait my teeth could get worse and more expensive.

So last week I had my right side done and today my left side. A total of 10 fillings, a cleaning, antibiotic packing, and irrigation (whatever that is) and I am fixed. It was so awkward sitting there while the dentist and technician worked on my mouth. I forget to hold my mouth open after a while and they have to remind me. They have this suction thing that stays in and hooks on the side of my mouth, along with the one the technician is holding. Then there's the drill! Arrgh, I hate it!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Well I decided to alter my antidepressant so I am taking a lower dose every other day. I just started last Saturday, but the past couple days I have been extremely tired. I think it is because I caught a bug or something because it is too soon for the medication adjustment to be kicking in; plus I am not experiencing any other signs of depression. Who knows?

I hate being this tired though; I've been going to bed right around the time my 2 year old son does. The only reason I am awake right now is because when my husband got home I took a nap! I've always loved to sleep because my dreams are always so intense.