Freedom of speech for awnings

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |NEW YORKWelcome to Disney North - land of the well-manicured, perfectly
proportioned new and improved New York City.

Kindly direct your attention to the store awnings above your head.
You will note that they are all clean and uncluttered. They no longer
assault the senses with a battery of words like, "Notary Public
Cigarettes Chicken Magazines Ice Cream." They say, simply, "Sundries"
in small, soothing letters. What a perfectly pleasant place to ... zzzzzz.

Oh! Excuse me! I must have fallen asleep while contemplating what
New York will look like once it starts enforcing the anti-wordy-awning
law.

Surely you've heard of the anti-wordy-awning law? That decree, dating
from 1961, is super-important. In fact, it is hard to understand how the
city has managed to survive without enforcing it for 42 years. And yet,
somehow it did. Until this past summer.

That's when, for unknown reasons, shopowners started getting tickets
for any awning with the audacity to include words other than the name
of the store and its address. For instance, Wendy Marsh in Jamaica
Estates, Queens, had to replace the 18-year-old awning above her
store, Marsh Optical. Why?

"It had the picture of a pair of eyeglasses on it, and my letters were
higher than 12 inches," says Marsh.

Those against the law, including City Councilman David Weprin
(D-Queens), are thrilled that after the first flurry of tickets - with fines
that ran as high as $2,500 - the city put a 6-month moratorium on
enforcing it. But unless his freedom-for-awnings resolution passes, the
old law kicks into effect again on - believe it or not - Christmas Eve. At
that point, any shop with a New York -y awning will have to replace it
with a Beverly Hills-type awning or be fined.

"It's clutter. It's jarring to the senses, and it doesn't put the customer
into a buying mood," insists Mike Feder, a retailing consultant at the
34th St. Partnership.

The partnership is pushing the anti-wordy-awning law for legitimate
reasons: It believes that stores attract more customers with good
window displays than with garish signs. It has even offered free window
decorating advice to any stores wishing to upgrade. Nice.

But is New York really a city where in-your-face ads should be
outlawed? Where storeowners should be forced to exercise good taste?
Where awnings aren't allowed to announce, "We replace batteries, fix
luggage and fry fish"?

No. Who elected Martha Stewart mayor?

Contemplating the sign riot of 32nd St. as he sipped coffee on the
corner of Sixth Ave., sock designer Mike McKeith said, "I don't think of
it as an eyesore. I think of it as the fabric of New York."

That it is. A crazy quilt. For those who prefer plain white sheets - try
the morgue.