Why does he say he does not want to go into counseling? My wife said the say thing to me when she had her EA in 2010. I went and my IC told me that my wife would do it again and if the guy was local it would be a PA. Less then a year later my IC was right. My WS did not want to go to counseling because it would have stopped her fantasy life (IMO). We talked about it a dozen times about what my IC told me and she said it would not happen. It did.

You need to dictate what he does in order for your healing. If six months works for you then you tell him what he needs to do during this time. If he does not agree then move on.

This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”