Dear Buddy – Twelve Steps to Recovery, Your Tooth Brush Addiction

It started when you tried to steal Kitten’s toothbrush, so we got you your own. It was down hill from there. You were constantly running in to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Eventually you were in there so much we had to keep the bathroom door closed. We discovered if we needed you to follow us or go somewhere we just had to put a toothbrush in our back pockets – you would follow us anywhere.

It wasn’t long before you were breaking in to the bathroom – exploiting any lapse in it’s security. I found you once hiding behind the toilet brushing your teeth. Buddy, if you’re brushing alone or in private you know you have a problem!

Once I actually lost you. I turned the house upside looking for you. I even looked outside twice just to be sure. I knew you had to be in the house somewhere. When I checked the bathroom for the third time I finally found you. There you were, wedged between the wall and the sink, hidden behind the hand towels, toothbrush in your mouth and an innocent look on you face. I seriously considered intervention.

At your next check-up your doctor casually asked, “Have you started brushing his teeth yet?” Oh, Doc, the problem is getting him to stop!