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Sunday Sex Tip: How to Make Giving a BJ More Fun for You (and, Dare I Say, You Might Even Love It)

Men’s favorite pastime (next to sex or possibly the Superbowl) is getting a blow job. Even better, an unsolicited, impromptu he-didn't-even-have-to-ask-for-it kind of job. Some guys consider it even more intimate than sex; your warm mouth, tongue, and lips can bring him some of the most thrilling sensations possible. The last thing he wants to think is that it’s a chore for you. Most often, a woman's resistance to giving one has to do with his hygiene, the taste, or simply not having the confidence of knowing the "right moves" to please him. The good news is that all of these problems can be solved. I promise you can learn to love or at least like giving a blow job.

First you have to target what’s holding you back. Maybe you had a bad first experience. You might not like swallowing, or maybe you’re convinced that you just don’t know what you’re doing once you get there. Here are some tips to help you go down like you mean it (which is the only way to do it):

1. You’ve got him by the balls: Being so completely in control of someone else’s pleasure is a powerful feeling. You can make him experience things in a completely different way than he feels with his own hands. Plus, you can use it to tease him, to get him ready for sex, or you can make it the main event. You’re now the center of his universe and you hold the power to blow his mind.

2. You've got mad skills: No matter what, if you put his penis in your mouth, he’s going to feel pleasure. You don’t have to be an expert, just do keep a few things in mind: Teeth are a no-no, so stretch your lips completely over your teeth and make sure to stay that way. One of the biggest mistakes women make is not using enough pressure, so don't be afraid to suck and use your hands (a great way to compensate for and compliment a tired mouth). Be sure to add variety and change up your speed, pressure, and movements. When he’s about to come, keep doing what you’re doing!

3. Fake it until you make it: I’m not talking about orgasms; those better be the real deal. I’m referring to your level of enthusiasm. Just like we want to know that he’s into it if he is performing oral sex on us, he wants to make sure we’re having a good time down there. Even if you’re not having the time of your life, enthusiasm is the biggest turn-on for men, so lick it like it’s the most delicious ice cream cone you’ve ever tasted and you don’t want to miss a drop.

4. It’s best when it's reciprocal: If he’s been going down on you, it’s only fair to reciprocate. If he’s not doing it but you’d like him to, this is the perfect excuse to ask.

So don’t make it about his birthday, your anniversary, or because you promised him three months ago. Do it because you want to please him (and, no, you don’t have to swallow).

Emily Morse is a sexologist, host of the top downloaded podcast Sex With Emily, and cofounder of Emily & Tony. Emily has a doctorate in human sexuality, is the author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, and a weekly cohost of the nationally syndicated radio show Loveline With Dr. Drew Pinsky.