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Author
Topic: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse (Read 9612 times)

Some of you know my mom has been fighting Lung cancer for about 2 years now. She's a tough old (66) thing and has given it a valiant fight but as Lung Cancer often does it has spread to her brain. 20-30 Mets, including one large one on or near her brainstem it seems.

Monday night she was having problems standing and was very confused so I took her to hosital, and that is when they found that it had spread.

They've given her some drugs to shrink the swelling in her brain so she is pretty lucid and "with it" for now, which is nice, because at any moment that could go away again. She will begin Whole head radiation on Friday.

It really doesnt get any worse in regards to cancer, it is now in her Adrenal glands, bones , brain and brainstem (interesting enough the Chemo has cleared her lungs completely) but the buggers just keep moving around. Prognosis is clearly very poor. They are saying she has anywhere from a couple weeks to 3-6 months with the radiation. a few days without. She wants to continue on with the radiation so that is what we will do.

On top of all of this^ Mom will have to be coming back to live with me. She's not happy about it and I cant say Im totally thrilled but Im her only child and I will do whatever it takes and there is really no other option. I've tried to have nurses at her house over the past year, but she has kicked them out, not to mention I really cannot afford them full time.

Hospice is potentially in play here, we are just waiting on a firm diagnosis on prognosis from the doc which will probably come tomorrow or friday as they are still running tests.

So for the last few days between being at the hospital all day Ive been trying to get my house in shape to accomodate her. But I must say Im not real sure what to do in that regard. I will be meeting with a hospital social worker tomorrow who supposedly can hep me with home healthcare and getting beds, etc, that I might need.

So much to do and no time to do it in.

I'm up and down. I usually get real down as I drive to the hospital so then I walk in with big tomatoe eyes, but after that I'm usually fine.

On the upside, she has a cute nurse, and mom told me today that he was quizzing her about me. So we had a nice laugh about that.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. She's fortunate to have a good son like you who is taking good care of her. I will say several prayers for both of you.

Hugs,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

So sorry about your mom Will, she is also lucky to have you as you are a wonderful son. I hope her remaining time will be happily spent with you and your loved ones. I am also an only child and elder care is tough, like you I try to handle it with patience, kindness and compassion.

Be well friend, Jody

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"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world". "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Your mum is only two years older than me, she is too young to be going through this, I'm glad she has you beside her. Even though it's not something you are not happy about I'm sure it will turn out OK for both of you, but it sounds like the Hospice will be the best place for her in the long run, if you are out working during the day there is no way you can give her the nursing she is going to need.

Oh Will, this is too bad. She is actually too young to be dealing with so much.

Just letting you know that you and your mom will be in my thoughts. She is indeed blessed to have you by her side. Sending you both many hugs.

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

So sorry that your mom is in this shape. I'm sure she knows how very fortunate she is to have such a good and caring son.As you take care of her, please remember to take care of you too! Get some exercise to help reduce your stress, and please try to eat well too.Will keep you and mom in my thoughts.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

so sad Will, a major setback for both of you.... glad you are able to help with taking her in and arranging care.... lots of good thoughts and positive energy coming your way and a few prayers as well...

What horrible news Will, my thoughts are with you and your mom. We just lost Stephen's mother and the hospice/hospital staff were excellent in helping to set up her house, so she could go home and die. Take advantage of their offers to help. I'm also a only child, so I empathize with all the duties falling squarely on your shoulders.

Will -I am so sorry to hear this. Please give your mother a big hug from me.Also, give yourself one too.I am sure that it means so much to her that you are there for her.Enjoy every conversation and your time together with her.If you do go the hospice route - just know that they are truly angels. They have to be some of the most amazing people I have ever met.Having been through the process with my dad a little over a year ago - I can't speak highly enough about how they made a difficult situation much more bearable.

I will be keep you and your moms in my prayers and my thoughts.Make sure you also take care of yourself.Much love to you.

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Willy, this makes me sad. I'll continue to keep you and your mom in my thoughts and well wishes. As you know, I helped take care of my mum in her last days with lung cancer. Not a good way to go (but what is). Hospice is a tremendous blessing, so getting set up with them is great.

Please take care of yourself, you're going to need all the strength you can muster!Much luv,Betty

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I had to make the decision to put mom in Hospice a decision that came with great struggle from within myself. But nevertheless she is in Hospice, in a Care facility (read nursing home). I think this is like her 5th day in the facility, after spending 10 days in the Hospital.

Doing well, already surprising the docs. THey were saying "a couple weeks" a couple weeks ago. and she is still very alert even if somewhat confused.

anyways it's tough.

We celebrated Moms day in the "care facility , flowers, fresh Oatmeal Raisin cookies, and Sea Island shrimp House takout for lunch. I got her out of bed and rolled her out to the Rose garden, where there were no roses. There were however several of those big apartment style bird houses that were brimming with birds, which mom took great delight in.

I'm doing well mostly, sometimes its very tough but as we know a good cry really cleanses out the soul.

Nayways my cuz is in town visiting mom so I got the night off and thougt I would see if I could wreak some havoc around here with you people

I know she is very happy and lucky to have you there by her side. Hopefully she will pull through and take on the world. I wish you all the best and a whole lot of positive energy to you, yours and the world.

I had to make the decision to put mom in Hospice a decision that came with great struggle from within myself. But nevertheless she is in Hospice, in a Care facility (read nursing home). I think this is like her 5th day in the facility, after spending 10 days in the Hospital.

Doing well, already surprising the docs. THey were saying "a couple weeks" a couple weeks ago. and she is still very alert even if somewhat confused.

anyways it's tough.

We celebrated Moms day in the "care facility , flowers, fresh Oatmeal Raisin cookies, and Sea Island shrimp House takout for lunch. I got her out of bed and rolled her out to the Rose garden, where there were no roses. There were however several of those big apartment style bird houses that were brimming with birds, which mom took great delight in.

I'm doing well mostly, sometimes its very tough but as we know a good cry really cleanses out the soul.

Nayways my cuz is in town visiting mom so I got the night off and thougt I would see if I could wreak some havoc around here with you people

-Will

Brings back memories of when my own mother was in hospice. As she lay in bed during her last I remember stepping outside and seeing all the cars zoom by on nearby I-95. It's weird when one's world stops how so much keeps moving.... doesn't seem right.

Anyways, enjoy these moments and try to take every second in. It will be gone before you know it and all that's left are the sporadic dreams and fond memories.

What doesnt kill us makes us stronger, and all that. (didnt Jesus say that)

Mom keeps outliving her prognosis, tough old bat. The nurses keep telling her she is in "rehab", so she keeps complaining that no one is rehabbing her. Over the last few days she has shown an improvement in her condition mentally, kind of like she was "getting better", but nurses say it could just be a rally before the end.

We will see.

-W

ps, thanks again for all t he kind words. and yes, Missp voice wreaks of Nelliness and rainbows.