Are You Comfortable With Not Knowing What Comes Next?

If you think there is a certain way to get exactly what you want, precisely the way you want it, the shocking truth is that you are limiting your life, and perhaps fooling yourself.

I called my dear friend and flower essence homeopathic healer Alexis Smart recently in a panic because I had made two huge life shifts, both that I knew were necessarly, and both that left me without the tentative sense of “certainty” that I had about my life in certain ways. I had given up a work project and a promising relationship ended all in one week. Suddenly, I had no idea what was happening even though I knew that it all had to happen because both were not right as they were.

I had been doing the weirdest things, very un-Dana things: trying to find tarot readings, looking up astrology, trying to find my old pendulum to swing around and ask questions. The more I did this stuff the less that life felt good. In fact, I started to feel like a prisoner of Fate. That’s very un-Dana-like and I realized it was a symptom of an old habit that I had to break.

Have you done this stuff?

For those of you that don’t know, I am a Buddhist and I gave all this stuff up a very long time ago, along with psychics and other stuff that tries to predict the future. I called Alexis because, well, I was unravelling something much bigger than I realized and I knew that if I could get grounded and calm I could stop the vicious and limiting cycle that had started. I was deeply freaked out by uncertainty because so much of it seemed to happen in the space of a few days.

I’m quite grateful that a little homeopathy, a lot of Buddhism and a healthy dose of gratitude pulled me out of the wilds of “What the hell is happening?”

Are you there right now, sitting in a space where you wish you knew what happens next because everything feels so uncertain and maybe even unfamiliar?

Today, the big question that has been Earth-shattering to my own life and may just stir up your own:

How comfortable are you with uncertainty?

How cool are you with the idea that anything can happen… and how open are you to all the possibilities?

Infinite possibility is terrifying at first.

I think it’s the reason that so many hyper-creative people hide from their talents. Or bury them in self-destructive behavior. It can be overwhelming to know that you can actually create anything you want to create, and to varying degrees you can influence life and make each moment happen. You may not be able to predict how each moment plays out perfectly, but in a whirl of huge creativity you can make anything happen.

We are creatures of habit, and we can become habitually used to feeling oppressed, feeling stuck, feeling scared, feeling limited in options, feeling poor or feeling just about anything else that makes life less spacious. When you let go of what you don’t need or want, you create a void. Even though its a positive void (after all, what filled it wasn’t helping you!) it is a terrible void to feel at first because the familiar is gone.

Have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome? It is when kidnapped people start feeling sympathy and empathy for their oppressors, even falling in love with the people who put them in captivity. It’s similar to how some people say they crave being in prison because it is structured and feels safe. Seriously, this is not uncommon. And both are a sad way to be. All of this is emotional bad habit stuff.

Are you holding on to things that make you feel safe in being small?

Are you thinking that the “devil you know” is better than the vast unknown?

Now is a great time to challenge that status quo if you want to live a life that you are excited for, a life that feels and looks like you at your best.

*Create more art. As in: do what you love and make art that makes you feel good.

* Divorce yourself from the predictive devices. Make your own predictions instead! Dare to breathe through the uncertainty, feel the fears you have and transcend them by seeing all the infinite possibilities.

* Walk away from spaces where you feel small. If you hold on to what is not right, what is right will not appear.

* Make your home more spacious. Clear clutter, empty cupboards, clean your refrigerator… this is really profound energy work for your space and your life.

* Try homeopathy! Alexis Smart gave me my new custom bottle of flower power essences, all designed to snap me out a spell of energetic habit, and with each dose of four brandy-infused flower drops I put under my tongue I feel fantastic.

And remind yourself every day: uncertainty is actually infinite possibility.

To add even more layers to today’s question, here’s a vintage You Tube that is all about living without limits. I filed it at the time when I really moved through a ton of limitations and had been helping lots of clients dismantle their own fears of the unknown to embrace an awesome future.

Its all a process. I didn’t wake up one day and just think: “Oh, I am now 100% cool with not knowing what comes next.” Rarely does anyone snap out of a habit that quickly. But you do snap out, and when you do, you can do anything!!!

xoxo Dana

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Hi Dana
That was a great piece. I just wanted to let you know true Tarot and Astrology has nothing to do with predicting the future. I know you said you went for readings however studying topics themselves will prove otherwise. Just wanted to let you know one day one of those things may inspire you. Have a great day! Smiles!

Tarot and astrology are – at lest in part- predictive devices as far as I’ve seen them, on every level from very famous readers to underground teachers of kabbalistic tarot. If there’s an insight otherwise, I’d love to see the viewpoint. I’ve learned a great deal about this (as a former addict of this stuff) so I’m open to always learning and would love to know…!