“My job has recently been transferred from the UK to an Asian country. With the move from my established position to a new challenging role in a new environment, I suddenly found myself lacking my usual level of confidence...”

Positive Voice Blog

Having studied Neuro Linguistic Programming, i am very much aware that we all have different learning styles. It is for this reason that some people learn more easily than others. The truth is that not everyone has learned to learn in a way that suits their learning style. You see, we all have different ways of looking at the world. Life is easiest for those who learn through a combination of visual and audio stimuli because this is how we are taught in schools. However, we all learn differently. For an auditory person, it is all about audio books and listening to others speaking, for someone who needs to keep their hands busy, drawing diagrams or writing notes could be a winning way to learn. Additionally, a great deal of people learn best by doing or through interacting with others.

It is obvious to me that a thinking audience is a listening audience; it is for this reason that i always make my speeches, workshops and training as interactive as possible. I don't know what your specific learning style is (i wonder if you do), but i do know which styles should be avoided at all costs.

Please AVOID: Monologues and lecture style training where no questions are asked or feedback sought

Some people prefer working through things on their own (this is why i have created my Digital course in accent reduction) others require feedback and interaction, which is why i also offer one-to-one lessons. What seems evident to me is that i learn best when i do a little bit of everything: I listen, i read, i draw diagrams and i pass on my knowledge to other people who find it interesting. There is nothing quite like learning something with the knowledge that you will be able to help others by passing on your knowledge. It is with all of this in mind that i have started working on a new programme; one which is intended to accelerate the learning of languages and the development of a native accent. My focus is on English, but this methodology could be used to accelerate the uptake of any language.One of the principles taught in my upcoming course is the habit of 'listening and reading at the same time'. By this, i mean listening to an audiobook whilst reading the written text simultaneously. I have created a book based on English grammar and combined it with the audio book version. I have included several unusual yet highly effective exercises with the intention of giving you the best chance of assimilating the learnings and putting them into practice. Over the coming weeks, i will be publishing extracts from this new course: 'How to Find Your English Voice'.People often claim that they are not good at languages; it would be truer to say that they haven't yet found the best way for them to learn a language.

I used to feel that it was impossible for a person like me to incite lasting change in the world. That is until Mahatma Gandhi’s quote really hit home. I have learned that the most lasting change comes when we lead by example, when we inspire others to do as we do. How we behave as individuals is reflected in the behaviour of wider society.

The example that you set now and in the future, will set the tone for the next generation. This concept is particularly poignant for me right now, as I am pregnant with my second child. You don’t need to be a parent to lead by example, though. We are all teachers to someone; family, friends, neighbours or colleagues.

How can you make a difference?

My Top Tips

Don’t take things personally:

Initially, this is often one of the most difficult things to do, but with practice, it will get easier and easier. All you need to do is remind yourself that when someone gets angry or upset, it is their fear that is talking and not them! (All negative emotions can be interpreted as fear) They are fearful and by responding with anger you only exacerbate the situation until one of you ‘makes peace’ or until you go your separate ways. What if I told you that by changing the way you feel about this person, the whole energy dynamic will improve?

When you remind yourself that all negative behaviour is just fear in disguise, you will feel so much better and will realise that there is nothing to take personally. It is all about ‘them’ and nothing to do with you at all. Eventually, all negative emotions will drop away and you will feel only compassion.

EXERCISE

Think of someone who you have had conflict with; either recently or in the past, (a small argument will do for this exercise) ask yourself:

‘Was this about me or them?’

If it is about them: Perhaps you remind them of someone or even of themselves: often the behaviour we tolerate least is the behaviour that mirrors our own weaknesses. For instance, if, in the past you had a problem with listening or your attention span was very short, you might find the same behaviour in someone else absolutely intolerable. So, often the behaviour of others is a reflection of your own behaviour (past or present).

If it is about you: ask yourself what you were afraid of? What action could you have taken to dissipate this fear? All emotions can be interpreted as a call to action- after all, when you’re tummy rumbles; you easily interpret that as a call to eat. What do you do when you feel sad? Do you continue to feel sad or do you interpret the emotion and find a solution?

What could you have done to remedy your fear?

Change yourself first!

It is impossible to change others through force. In fact, the harder you try, the more they will resist. It is, therefore, much better to focus on developing yourself, as then you can shine with love and humour * and inspire others to follow your lead. Also, the more you work on yourself, the less other people’s behaviour will disrupt your peace and the less inclined you will feel to try to change them, so you see, it is an upward cycle.

* Humour is a great tool: react with it and respond with it whenever you can. Humour can lighten the saddest and heaviest of moods. As always, practice makes perfect.

Final thought: All war; whether it is on the battlefield, in the boardroom or in the classroom, relates to fear. The best way to heal fear is through love, kindness and understanding.

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Its the all-American style which allows shoppers across the world to dress like wealthy Ivy League students. But could our love affair with preppy clothes be waning?

US fashion giant Ralph [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/womens-ralph-lauren-polo/]cheap womens ralph lauren polo[/url] Lauren today announced that it was closing its Rugby label, which specialises in high-end college wear, by the end of 2013.

The news came just weeks after the Jack Wills group ?C the British label known [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/mens-ralph-lauren-polo-sweaters/]cheap mens ralph lauren polo sweaters[/url] for its attention to upper echelon leisurewear ?C announced that it would be closing its upkmarket sister line Aubin & Wills after Christmas.

Rugby Ralph Lauren launched in 2004 to cater to a growing market for the traditional and ultra-conservative sports-casual wardrobe of the American WASP, or ?C to give it its proper name ?C the preppy look.

The closure of the line, which boasts 14 stores worldwide including one in Londons Covent Garden, is indicative not only of a climate where retailers are getting back to basics, but also of shoppers changing tastes.

Both Ralph Lauren and Jack Wills have at their heart at very distinct vision of retro-hip nostalgia, be it based in the tweedy Britishness that the American firm has adopted so enthusiastically, or the Ivy League-style sportswear that, conversely, the British company has managed to distil and render desirable.

What we are seeing is fashion brands reviewing their operations to ensure they are focussing on their core business, says Caroline Nodder, editor-in-chief of the trade magazine Drapers. Where they have launched brand extensions during the good times it may well be they now drop these in favour on concentrating on the strongest part of their business.

Both brands already do a really good line in preppy menswear, says Adam Welch, editor of the style magazine Wonderland, but trying to expand the idea of what that is has not worked. The preppy look is not going to go away, but theres not such a demand for collegiate-style clothes that each brand needs to cater for different markets.

The trend originally came about during the 1950s, an evolution of the Varsity look characterised by pre-war Oxbridge dandies. Preppy was the upper class [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/mens-ralph-lauren-polo/]cheap mens ralph lauren polo[/url] version of Americana - chinos, cricketing jumpers and sports jackets the alternative to jeans and leathers. Over the years, it has been adopted by consecutive generations of burgeoning style icons, from Bobby Kennedy via Matthew Broderick to, more recently, ironic hipsters sporting chinos and deck shoes in a rather more knowing way

Such was the popularity of the Ivy League look that in 2009 Harvard itself announced plans for a fashion line named Harvard Yard, profits from which would be ploughed into scholarships and bursaries schemes.

The arrival of Abercrombie & Fitch on Londons Savile Row in 2007 was evidence of the preppy boom. But now the brand finds itself in [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/]wholesale ralph lauren polo shirts[/url] [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/womens-ralph-lauren-polo-dress/]womens ralph lauren polo dress[/url] similar difficulties to Ralph Lauren and the Wills group. Last year, Abercrombie reportedly offered money to Jersey Shore reality TV star Mike The Situation Sorrentino to stop wearing its clothes, in order to try and preserve some of the brands status, as enthusiasm began to wane for a style that appears to be dying the death of overexposure.

That Ralph Lauren should seek to focus on its core lines is further proof too [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/womens-ralph-lauren-polo-sport-shirt/]wholesale mens ralph lauren polo sport shirt[/url] that high-end retailers see more potential in the upper end of the market, rather than on the high street. The overarching theme of menswear next spring is sporty utility, adds Welch. But its coming across as sharp and futuristic. Preppiness seems a bit fusty in comparison. With the more sporty brands like Aubin & Wills and Rugby, it also represents a slightly outdated way of dressing; the high street consumer is more switched on about fashion now.

Ralph Lauren's 14 standalone Rugby stores, including the giant outlet in London's Covent Garden, will close early next year.
Related articles
Jack Wills axe sister store Aubin & Wills
New York Fashion Week: Ralph Lauren spring/summer 2013
The website will also cease trading "in order to focus resources on higher growth, more scalable global opportunities with the core Ralph Lauren brand" reports WWD .
READ: Ralph Lauren spring/summer 2013 show report
Founded in 2004 under the Polo Ralph Lauren umbrella, the label took inspiration from rugby attire, creating a line of varsity [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/womens-ralph-lauren-polo-swimwear/]wholesale womens ralph lauren polo swimwear[/url] and heritage-style classics aimed at the 16-25-tear-old market. Carefully curated boutiques popped up from Tokyo to East Hampton, with Rugby making its debut on London's King Street in September last year. Shortly after the shop's launch, Rugby sponsored the capital's 'Tweed Run', a leisurely bike ride with a quintessentially British tea break whereby participants battle it our for prizes for 'Best Vintage Bicycle', 'Most Dapper Chap' and 'Most Dashing Dame'.
READ: Jack Wills axe sister store Aubin & Wills
The announcement comes soon after Ralph Lauren's preppy British counterpart, Jack Wills, revealed it would be dropping sister line Aubin & Wills to concentrate on the global rollout of the Jack Wills brand.
Ralph Lauren brought the bullring to his runway Thursday morning with a Spring 2013 collection that channeled the spirit of Seville. Fortunately there were no bovine animals on the catwalk; there were, however beautiful bullfighters in ornate regalia. Magnificent matadors wore chic ensembles, embellished with gilded embroidery. [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/]cheap ralph lauren polo shirts[/url] The Spanish toreros call such a uniform the suit of lights and these pieces definitely glistened as the models glided by. And while there wasnt [url=http://wholesalerlpolos.net/womens-ralph-lauren-polo-sport-shirt/]wholesale mens ralph lauren polo sport shirt[/url] any blood, there were a few gorgeous crimson gowns fit for a fashionable flamenco.

Lauren took the bull by the horns this season and was victorious. Now how about some sangria?

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In part two of the Pele Sports line up we have the high top style [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0980/]Adidas Predator XI TRX FG Leather[/url] Azteca and [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0980/]Adidas Predator XI TRX FG Leather[/url] the very stylish Rasunda. Both have [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0973/]Adidas Predator Absolion TRX FG Leather football boots[/url] radically different looks but like the Armador and Santiago they are extremely comfortable, fit a half size big, and have a medium width.

As far as the colorways go the Azteca and Rasunda are both very casual. The Azteca is in the Black/Princess Blue colorway and the Rasunda is in the Alfalfa/Yucca colorway. Both shoes [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0978/]Adidas Predator X AG football boots[/url] have their own charms and attitude to them. There is a resemblance to converse shoes but I think that Pele sports does it better, taking the foundation that Converse have laid down and perfecting it to match up with the soccer lifestyle. Lets go over both shoes and what they are all about!

Both are available on Amazon.com, the Azteca for 69.99 and the Rasunda for 59.99

The Azteca

After the Armador the Azteca is my second favorite out of the four. The style is fantastic and should appeal to a universal demographic. However getting them on and off takes some time. However that means that the shoe is attached firmly to your foot so you dont have to worry about it falling off!

Azteca

One of the obvious reasons why this shoe is so great is that the high top look is pretty popular among certain crowds. I could see this being a hit among basketball players and skate boarders. However it is still a Pele Sports boot and has a story behind it, just read the product description below.

The Azteca is named after the stadium in Mexico where Pel won his third world cup title in 1970. The high-top upper is a canvas material with suede trim [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0952/]Adidas adipower Predator TRX FG football boots[/url] and a tongue detail that is different on each left and right shoe.

What the product description doesnt mention is how comfortable the trim around the ankle is! I initially thought the shoe would chafe and rub up against my ankle/leg which is an issue Ive had with other high top shoes. Fortunately the Azteca took very good care of my ankles. If you want a high top that expresses the soccer life style the Azteca is a must.

The Azteca Retails for 69.99

Azteca Bottom

The Rasunda

For regular readers of Soccercleats101 this is more of a revisit than an introduction, Bryan has already gone over the shoe in his own review. The only difference is he got the shoe in the Navy or Peacoat colorway. I prefer the Navy color to the Alfalfa color, it isnt macho enough for me. But it still makes a good Unisex shoe that either gender can rock in confidence.

Rasunda

This is probably the most laid back shoe out of the collection. The style is pretty minimal which [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0955/]Adidas adiPURE 11Pro SL TRX FG football boots[/url] gives the shoe a very clean vibe. The tread is almost like a combination of Sky-blue and Turquoise giving it a dash of color. Here is what the Asunda is all about.

The Rasunda is named after the stadium in Sweden where Pel won his first world [url=http://lowfootball.co.uk/categories-0964/]Adidas Copa Mundial World Cup SG football boots[/url] Cup in 1958. Its canvas upper is subtle and sophisticated with minimal branding interference. The vulcanized outsole carries the classic symbols that reflect key moments in Pels life. Inspired by the classic Samba style of the seventies, with clean suede trim, toweling lining and understated contrast Pel branding on the heel and the tongue.

I love the stitching on the heel, it is really fresh. Ive actually grown fond of the colorway over time. When I first got it in I thought they looked flat out girly but it has grown on me substantially since then.. The look is very similar to the Santiago actually but the fit is a little bit better.

?Style at Florence and the Machine, Indiana
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There is a wonderful belief within the thinking of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) that we are not our behaviour.

As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, it took me a long time to fully understand this.

Interestingly, we define people all the time: she is clever, he is shy, she is chatty... These are all just strategies. I shall clarify what I mean by this, at various intervals throughout our lives we develop 'coping strategies'. At school, some people become the 'class clown' or 'bully', others become a 'teacher's pet'. These strategies help them to function in some way. Often, teachers, family and peers confirm these strategies by labelling people in this way.

A strategy can be formed in response to a trauma. One such as fear or anxiety is your body's way of warning you that you're going to get hurt... Interestingly, strategies tend to stick- especially when we keep reconfirming them. It is unlikely that a strategy formed whilst we are at primary school would still be relevant once you enter the working world.

You may be wondering what can be done to create new strategies?

Intention is key here. A great mantra is 'confidence can be learned' or 'With every day that passes, I am becoming more and more confident in every way.' A change in the way that you speak to yourself would be incredibly beneficial.

There are lots of other strategies on my website. It doesn't matter which one you use, the important thing is that you use one that works for you.

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