Sunday, July 31, 2005

and I gotta pee real baddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! Like the Detrol commercial for real this time, I DO HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW! but i will wait. Sigh! No maybe i won't as a matter of fact i can guarantee you wont' even know that i have left to pee :P

K i am back, did ya miss me?

Ugh i am tired today. we went over to my cousins last night and we laughed so stinking hard, my face hurts. we laughed n laughed n laughed n laughed. My cousin is sooooooooooooooo funny. I can't post here what we were laughing about but Shoooooooooo is all i can say :)

I had to take care of uncle eddie last night. If you don't remember, he is a severe scizophrenic. Oh the Joy in that. Hes been quite moody lately, well he has a norelco shaver and he can only shave to where hes pressing that Shaver so far in his face that his skin gets blister red and he has to count and count and count and I am like damn eddie. Welllllll.........his shaver is broke, i wonder freakin why and i kept showing him how to rig it to work and of course he got all snippy with me telling me his razor is a "piece of crap" so now hes mad at me because he thinks somehow i have secret forces with the shaver.

Okay we gotta go to the store and then I gotta clean my moms which should be an extra fun challenge with a hurt thumb and then we are going swimmin then i gotta take care of Edwardro and thennnnnnnnnn I gotta go to take savannah to bible school and then i guess Ill come home and um SLEEP or clean or.......Tsk tsk tsk wouldn't you like to know ;P

Have a great Sunday to all and to all...................A GOOD NIGHT Okay give me someeeeeeee fun, its the last day of my Christmas in July.HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :P

Saturday, July 30, 2005

and my point is.........................GREEN :) as my daughter would say! Thumb almost completely healed. Feels wonderful. The cast was molded to my thumb and i can now semi bend it in there , that means the swelling is all gone :)

Meds are being taken, rice milk with acidophilus being drunk.

My dog is chewing on a Reeses wrapper yet again. I think our whole house is psychosomatic. he doesn't ever eat them just brushes his teeth.

For those of you who watch Big Brother, aspoiler is coming up so if you don't wanna know SKIPPPPPPPPPP

Kaysar and James were nominated. :( Kaysar is about the sexiest man i have seen in years ,good body, sexy and smart. If he leaves , i will have to look at all the other goobers. Kaysar makes watching BB worthwhile. Angel sent me a pic ofhim. mannnnnnnnnnnnn ill have to post it below hang on

his sexiness should be against the law! The girl with him that is janelle, shes okay but kinda the blonde actress,big boobs, had 90 year old hubby??? can't rem her name.

Well, i guess i need to run..I am sure i have something to do somewhere! PS if you haven't visited Lois Lanes Blog you should. She is the funniest woman i know!Home Fires

Friday, July 29, 2005

well. went to orthopedic dr. I for sure have infectious Tenosynovitis :( He said it was resolving,but then decided he didn't want me to take the drugs the ER gave me. Evidentally 875 mg of augmentin isn't enough. So he says take these. 500 mg of kflex and 500 mg of levoquin ?? says its like a cock roach u can throw these 2 at it and it won't survive. Well...............I feel that the other medicine is working and I am not taking the other 2. I don't feel that I need to dump all those drugs into my system. i feel my finger is healing, its looking better, swelling going down, redness going down. So i will continue on. I go back on tuesday and if its not better he said we have to do surgery. He put me in a cast I cannot get out of.

Well.......He thought i couldn't but i figured out a way. I am not taking it off though ,but with myanxiety i need to know it can come off and it will :)

Thursday, July 28, 2005

First one i took and had a panic attack for about an hour. I was terrified.For some reason, I do better at pill taking in the day and not at night.

Let me set the scenario, I have to take this pill, no if ands or butts. I cut it in half and take it. Anxiety sets in immediatley. I start freaking out, I can't find the benadryl anywhere and if I have an allergic reaction where the hell is the benadryl. So i fussed at Kyle out of fear and he went and bought me some benadryl. I was so scared, instantly my face turned red, i was shaking, feeling dizzy. UGH.

I hate anxiety. I had a sudden envy for people who could just pop pills and not give 2 craps what they are putting into their body.

A pill has enough power to give me anxiety. sadly funny. I took it this morning. its been almost an hour. After an hour, i start to realize I won't immediatley die or pass out, then Ill be okay. Till tonight. I have never taken drugs, never been drunk.........I am chicken little i suppose.

I wish i could get over my fear of pills, maybe i could take something for anxiety. It took severe reflux and esophageal erosion to get me to take prilosec. I take that now with no problems.

I have fears of peanut butter some days. Allergy fears of course. I am so sick of anxiety. I hate it. Some days I wish to be someone else.

I have to go to the specialist this afternoon, wish me luck. Gonna ask him for some smaller pills. I gottta take my camera to my dad. Hes borrowing it. The camera is my life. I am going to be a photographer one day. Mark my words! I take pics of everything. I guess because there were moments when Brett was sick and dying, we had great moments in his last few months. I wish now i had had a camera to take pics to remember. As time fades so do the memories. That will never happen again because i take pics of EVERYTHING!

Have a great day all. I have about mastered typing with a cast. I use my index finger as the space bar finger! thats what i call multi tasking ;)

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I had to go to er this morn. cause my thumb has been hurting and has prog. got worse. Its swelled and i cant move it. ER ran tests sent me to a specialist. I have an infected tendon. No point of entry so that really confuses the piss out of me. Hecalled it teonvitis????? Sorry aboutthe Spelling. My Thumb has been casted and its taken me 10 min to write this,so I wont be posting til this comes off. I have to be on 875mg of augmentin 2 times a day. Any of you take these Before? OMG is all i can say. T hey are BIG imean HUGELY big. I go back to the Spec. Tom. To find out why i keep getting INfections in my joints and tendons.. I will visit your blogs,but May not comment Til i getthis offPrayyyyyyyyyyyyy for meLOveDianna

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I am addicted to American Idol and when that isn't on, I settle for Big brother. This year its pretty good. I have been watching the Live Feeds for 2 days. I decided I must be really bored to sit there and watch other people be bored.

Seems fun though!

It's still hot. Kyle and I cleaned our bedroom last night. Lordy, it was hot! Today is supposed to be hot also. I fear its making me insane. I want RAIN!!! I got the birds some more bird food, I know in this heat its near impossible for them to find an easy food source. So last night kyle walks out and says, "did you feed the birds or something" I was like Why and he said there was about 50 birds in the yard! LOL....... they gotta eat too!

It's funny, I have a cardinal and whenever I turn on music, he will sit outside my window by the radio, like he listens. I can turn on the radio and there he is! I will try to get a picture of him! i know its a him cause hes purty, i know the female cardinals are kinda an ugly color.

I got all my laundry finished, i get a gold star :) Ummmmmmm I had my cocoa pebbles this morning.

Ummmmmmm i guess i should run and mop my floor before the lil rug rats get up and track through it!!

Did I mention 3 weeks til school starts. Hey heres something nifty, next week it will be 2 LMAO ;P Ill give my self 2 gold stars and wear them on my forehead like that little bear :) be like mary poppins, practically perfect in every way!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Its gettin hot in here, so take off all your clothes LOL Its HOT100 outside right now with a heat index of 115. I have fans goin all over air going continously. Oh to see the electric bill this month. I shall faint.

Mails here, can you imagine being a mail man on a day like today?

i get more junk mail then the law allows i think. I don't have any credit cards, but daily get stacks upon stacks of applications.

Tempting but no thanks!

3 weeks from today, school starts! its hard to believe that summer is almost over. Feels like it just started! Been doing extra days of my uncle eddies cause one of my aunts is out of town. Kyle has been taking days for me. That is soooooooo sweet of him. Because since its been so hot, i really just flat out don't like going. If he lived on the first or 2cd floor i wouldn't have a problem with it, but walking up to the 3rd floor no air with children. No fun.

My side pain is back, wonder why this time. Wind blow wrong direction, who knows. I just dread winter and the back pain. i need to lose weight. Been slowly switching from sprite to water. I usually drink alot of water anyway but lately the more i drink the more i cough. I never ever buy cans or 2 liters of soda but bought some today so i can control portions instead of going to Mcdonalds and get a large sprite. For everything sprite i drink, i make myself drink a bottle of water.

top 10 turn ons1. Believing In God2. Honesty3. Smile and Great teeth4. Ability to make me laugh5. Being able to play an instrument6. Loves Pets7. Wears Jeans8. Being supportive9. Being Prompt10. Geekiness for some strange reason

Top 10 Turn offs1. Not Believing in God2. Lying or Cheating3. Bad Breath4. Whistling boogers or ones you can see go in and out when they breathe5. Boisterous6. Trying to act like they know EVERYTHING when clearly I do ;P7. Being perverted8. Drunkness9. Slobbiness10. Any Type of Body Odor

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Savannah and her friend Maddie were putting on a show, in the video you can see the baby dolls lined up on stage. Well, i always video tape and take pics and Juan hears the Cha Cha slide bein played and he loves the cha cha slide so he comes out to do it and LMAO didn't know he was on a stage with the naked baby dolls so he gets into the slide and LOL we tell him about the dolls!! Hes 10 so its something to show his friends LOL video of course below!! Opie is the fun police and whereever theres laughter he has to go check it out and make sure we aren't having too much fun LOL

Juans starting to be more anxious with school only being 3 weeks away. I am so scared of that. Guys you (some of you rem.) have no idea, what that child went through. He had a fear of school and would not go in the building. They would have to bring a chair to my car every morning put him on it. 3 adults to hold him on the chair, while he screamed and cried and was rolled into school. I left every day crying, i would have to pick him up early. Freaking anxiety disorder. Last year, on his own he walked into school. The teachers were so ecstatic!! So was I, I was so proud, but also know having anxiety disorder, you have set backs, but even if he had his days, he showed his braveness and walked into the school.Theres the magic, i was wanting, just for some moments to blind to see it!

My cousin is a travel agent and is planning us a trip to panama city for pretty cheap so magic number 2 is getting tackled. Sometimes magic happens for real, but I think people can make their own magic :O) Cocoa pebbles are pretty magic for me. Grampu LOLLLLLLLL I didn't tell you guys.

I was frustrated and tired cause i didn't get enough sleep.... Well my lovey savannah tries to come in the bathroom and I said,,,,,,,,,,"savannah can you at least give mommie 5 min to pee alone please" I swear to goodness around comes her wee little hand with potato head eyes between her fingers and she said "can granpu come in with you"

My goodness I laughed sooooooooooooo hard at that. Even when frustrated, my baby girl can make me smile. I of course let her and grampu in the bathroom! Shes a funny gal she is.

She ain't no hollaback girl!

Okay I gotta go, my ulcer medicine is kicking in and I can eat. Thanks for listening to my whinning last night and have a marvelous sunday! Cindy I am loving your story, but my heart truly aches for you. Very much. You can feel all your pain, just reading it. I send you huge HUGS daily.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

I would say Post but then it would remind me of my fruity/Cocoa pebbles, which i still haven't had any of :(

life without pebbles makes no sense.

Kinda blah..........blah...........blah i suppose. Went to my moms swimming all morning/afternoon. Was hot. Was nice. Was nicely hot.Cleaned her house, went to my uncle eds, cleaned his house.

Came home.

I am still excited over my house.

I watched Elf today a funny movie. It made me cry :( i want some magic in my life. Want some magic to happen here. Like snow on Monday when its supposed to be 100, like a trip for my kids to see the ocean for the first time, A meat locker in my new house for days when its 100, i can make my own snow in there , someone to teach me to sew, Magic for my friends too all their dreams to come true and Just for one day, not even the full 24 hrs, just to feel important.

Thats all i've ever wanted, just something i have done to be right, a decision ive made to the be the right one. Just to be important.

Magic.............thats about what that will take.

I can smile knowing I am important to God......Whoelse on this earth knows how many hairs I have on my head!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Haven't been on much. My computer desk broke and we have to set the keyboard up high and now my hand and shoulder hurts and my thumb is numb. Not to mention i have a MIGRAINEEEEEEEEE UGH I hate those assholes. I was in the shower last night and got the freaking aura, had a panic attack for extra fun, my vision will be screwed up for a couple days. I HATE MIGRAINES! with a capital HATE! Been a long day today. We had bad storms last night and i was up til 3 scared to death. Then i laid down and was so shaky from the headache. Had to babysit today had about 7 children with a headache.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Kyle used all my milk :( there are no pebs this morning. Only water :( Oh well. I survived the heat last night! the party was fun, its just the drive to the party in the heat.........Did i mention, i don't like the heat? This week i wanna stay inside its so dern hot. Sunday its supposed to be like 94 or 96 or something hot like that. Once it gets past 92 who really cares its all hot anyway.

We got some great news yesterday. We got approved for our home loan YAY :O) The lady is coming today to sign some papers and well be on our way YAY :) We can't move til November so if anyone has any painting tips, SHARE THEM PLEASE!! I dunno what colors and stuff i am gonna do!!!

Okay i gotta ton of blogs to read this morning! SO i am off to come and visit you guys!

I got on here to write and damnit, i forgot what i was gonna say. Hmmmmmmmm so ill just say something else!

The Sun will come out tomorrow!

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i wish it would rain again. The heat and humidity has set in the ohio valley. Its UGLY, i walk outside and just get soaked from humidity and its so hot, its even too hot to eat for me thats HOT!

Last night, I layed in bed with savannah and we told stories. I had the best time. I would tell her a story and she would tell me a story. All of her stories, had the scary woods and dorfy and the witch. She loves that movie but is scared of the witch. I was telling her all kinds of stories and i told her one of a beautiful princess named Savannah and i told her that Savannahs mommy always kissed her on her nose, on her mouth and on each of her cheeks every night and she looked at me and said "thats my favorite story of all" it was sooooooooo sweet!!!

Then Kyle came in and we told more stories and we all fell asleep in her bed. It was great! She is soooooooooooooooooooo sweet!

Every day I have been makin a list, checkin it twice (damn christmas in july)I do whats on my list and check it off and I am getting someplace. I have been freecycling alot of stuff. If its in my way and doesn't have a home, out it goes. one thing that made me mad was the moderators were i guess sending it to their friends first or taking it themselves and not sending the email out. I would get a hey i want this immediatley without seeing the email. Then 2 hrs later after i sent out a PPU would they send out the email. Kinda torks me off because the same people were getting so much stuff. I gave alot of brand new upopened movies and stuff away. I think today if i do it Ill put on there, will not choose the first responder or something. Ill devise a plannnnn brouha ha.

We have to go to a birthday party tonight in the heat and humidity and much and bluch and .....................bluch. Bluch. Its days like this i hear those things in the trees. Katydids, or cicadas i dunno what they are but they are noisy. BUT that means summer is closing YAYYYYYYYYYY :) School starts in less than a month. My hope chest is filling with school supplies. I can visualize fall and smell the rotten pumpkins LOL. Yesterday i went in the dollar store and they had Halloween stuff up already? I meannnnnnn HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO its only July!!!

Okay i gotta run and start on some laundry and make my list and check it twiceho ho ho

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Okay, I am in a better mood than yesterday LOL, Did i SKEEEEEEER you guys LOL? The overwhelming stuff, has been made into a list, checked twice and I have changed what I can and the stuff on the list I cannot change, theres no use in worrying about because I can't change it.

The fact that i have a fly the size of Texas in my living room, I can change LOL he scares the bejeebers out of me. He got locked in the bathroom with me and I didn't know he was there, he was behind the shower curtain. I am sitting there and hear the bzzzzzzzz and i look up and he is running into my mirror repeatedly so you hear boink bzzzzzzzz boink bzzzzzzzzz boink bzzzzzzzz i think he knocked himself out cause he sat on the sink for just a minute, then went to the window...... To the window................... To the walllll....... Damn music. But i gotta get him out of here, not only was he once a maggot, he likes to eat shit! hes gotta go. Ill make my boys get rid of him, ORRRRRRRRRRRR The Opienator LOL damn dog loves to catch flies. He shouldve been a frog!

I have a zit, at almost 33 i have a zit. Tell me why?

Savannahs still sleeping, shes fell asleep watching a continuous play of max and ruby, ruby and max, max and ruby, ruby and max. At different intervals through the night i would wake up and hear the song over n over. Tonight TV goes off.

I gotta hurry and sing another song so that one doesnt get stuck in my headdddddd!! my mind is going blank, theres don't worry be happy but thats equally annoying as max and ruby, here comes this is the song that never ends,,,,,,,,,SHit HELP , think think..........................Ahhhhhh Bing Crosby Mele Kalikimaka or however the hell you spell it.........Much better. You know i noticed at 3 my daughter gets songs stuck in her head. Yesterday it was "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down" it was cute :) I love that movie. So does she. She is all about the musicals! Look for her one day to be famous :)

So whats the worst song you ever had stuck in your head? do tell do tell?

Mele Kalikimaka is a thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day..... Thats the island greeting that we send to you from the land where palm trees sway, here we know that christmas will be green and bright, the sun to shine by day and all the stars at night.............. I love it!! its for sure Christmas in July. Cindy sent me a CHristmas in July email ;) I have been watching Christmas movies all July, car dealerships have their blowup santas. I love Christmas in July. Anthony my oldest son, his Grammy shirley just moved here from HI well, she said they celebrate christmas in july ( i think its july) but they play christmas carols on the radio and actually celebrate christmas for the ones that wont be here at christmas :( Kinda sad in that aspect, but The OH Gosh i gotta buy more presents would kill me!

Monday, July 18, 2005

stress sucks! i have been so busy and so stressed, i feel like i don't even have time to breath. I am officially at breaking point. My boys come home from their grandmas, who gets them about once every 6 mos and they come home with attitudes and i can't stand it. My boys are getting to where we tell them they CAN NOT play the M rated games. We screen them and let me tell you, if they say M they are pretty bad. Well, they have been going to others houses playing these games and we find out about it. I am so mad, I am ready to take the freaking playstation and just sail it down the ohio freakin river.

I am not looking forward to the teenage years.

Savannah is copying their bad attitude and has become a monster.

I wanna scream, i really do. When i sit i get extremely shaky because i am so stressed.

Yesterday we went to get my uncles food at Wendys i went off at the drive thru. We were ordering my uncles food, we were cut off and interrupted 3 different times and he didn't even finish taking our order gave us our total and we pulled up to take our money where he was leaning against the counter on his ass and wouldn't lean forward to take our money. It was a freaking joke, i got so pissed off. I mean you are getting paid to lean forward, your butt touching nothing and take our freaking money.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Wait, every day is Cocoa Pebble day!! I can't believe that it is Thursday already. I am waiting and waiting and waiting for my Marriage license to get here, so i can go down and get my SS card changed. since i am scared i figured, will do best when it is raining (anxiety wise) but damnit, its STILL Not here and i can't go down and the rain is almost over. Our Creepy mailman doesn't bring the mail til 4 in the afternoon. Who in the hell delivers mail at 4pm?

Asshole.

I want my mail!! I had some bad dreams last night. Its nice to wake up and know that they are just dreams! I am getting kyles cold. I choked on the roast beef i was eating last night, then got the cold. It must be the choking cold. He choked on a taco and got it, I choked on the beef and got it. It Stinks!

I guess I am going to do my cleaning rounds today and get them overwith. I am tired and don't wanna spend all weekend cleaning so that is on my agenda today!!

Hope everyone is having a good morning! most of you probably aren't up yet. Lucky people! i was up at 6, maddie showed up a lil early and once i am up and mobile, forget going back to sleep!

Mike N linda came over yesterday and my kids ended up going over there to stay all night. Cept Savannah, who for 2 days has insisted she is a cat. She meows, asks me to feel her motor purr and walks on all fours. I have a pic of her, I should post it LOL ill do that after i make this entry. Yesterday I cut out some cardboard ears and glued them on a headband and eyelined her a nose and some whiskers. she sure is a beauty. So funny and so full of life!

Okay I gotta go i guess, I am gonna try and i do stress TRY to go back to sleep. Ill post that pic first though!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Okay i called amazon and bitched them out because i ordered a replacement filter for my fridge and it was 26.49 but i had it coming out of my acct, on 3 different occasions. On the same day.............So they send me an email saying they will drop off etc..............Well i go one step further to call the bank cause i have other stuff coming out and blah blah blah and do you know what she said.............FiltersFast 26.49Hollywood Video 26.49Target 26.49

What the hell are the chances of making those exact totals 3 times on the same damn day LMAOOOOOOOO that is soooooo freaky!!!

Another rainy day YAY :))))))))) No heat, no sunshine :) Okay My side hurts again, it completely disappeared and now its back, so it has to be someway related to lifting and moving heavy furniture right? Damn the luck!

Its not as bad as it was though, so thats a plus!

Last night, i was sitting in this chair for 4 hrs playing Scrabble Blast. They got me hooked on a crummy test version, then I had to buy the damn thing. It's so Addicting. Scrabble is my game anyway. Mels computer has been broken, forcing me to not play. So i had no choice. I am now addicted!

I am going to remaintain my house today. I kept it up yesterday but i am going to redust and stuff. I probably have one of the most dustless houses. I hate dust and its like a challenge for me to get it. I take my tv off the entertainment center once a week, just to get the dust. if it gets too built up my allergies go Whacko.

Okay moving....................we gotta paint. Lots lots and lots of painting. So we are picking out colors. Anthonys is red white and black for U of L juans is Blue and white for U ok K and savannahs is lilac. I am dreading moving so much that i have been giving so much stuff away so i don't have to move it LOL i wanna pack very little. We had last year (we move yearly no joke) tons and tons of VHS movies, we had about 9 boxes of VHS movies. So at first i just chose the ones that i had DVD of n then got rid of em. But now its, what the freaking hell did i buy this for, it hasn't even been opened. So i am selling ALOT of them. Our DVDs we keep in binders so there are no boxes. So away with trash n plastic.

Cept Tupperware

We had tacos for dinner last night. First time i had tacos since my celiacs diagnosis (year in october) Let me tell you, I stood in the grocery phone in hand and i called the number on every box til i found some stuff that was gluten free and I went and got my Lauras lean beef and me and my kids ate sooooooooo many tacos it was unreal. I actually ate 3 tacos which is ALOT for me. Kyle was eating tacos and got choked and a shell went up his nose like it wanted to come out his nose and he was choking and coughing and today his nose is all scratched on the inside and he keeps sneezing. Wonder if a old taco chip will fester up and come on out of there. BLUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Scared me though he was all hackin n chokin and I didn't leave the scrabble game, I just did the holler "you alright, Why in the hell aren't you answering me" Now had i had to do the hemlich or something I wouldve gotten up from the game. ;) Okay i am off to see what I can see see seeeeeeeee my ulcer meds has been in there alone for 30 min so that means i can now eat my madarine oranges. A daily must for me with my iron :))))))) I have eaten oranges every day for about 8 mos. I am addicted to them too, maybe ill eat them while scrabble blasting!!!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Rise N shine :)))))))))))))))) I actually just got out of bed and its almost 9 YAY for me :) All that cleaning wore me out.

Oh GOOD NEWS and Cindy I hope its the same for you............ We are gonna get rain!! We haven't had rain in so long everything is the color of brown. Its the rain from Hurricane Dennis. Our weather man says it will be extremely welcome at first, but as the week goes on, we will grow increasingly tired.

You know what i say BRING IT ON!!! The sunlight give me migraines and Its hot and if it rains, i can get all my running done. So a week for me is Welcome!! I hope my marriage license comes today so i can drive downtown and get my SS cards n stuff changed. After the Oklahoma bombing, the federal buildings scare the bejeebers outta me!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

care to tell my why all the gluten free foods have to be so damn salty or just taste like crap? Damn what i wouldn't give for a biscuit about now. :( I hateeeeeeeeee Celiacs disease HATE HATE HATE IT. All you people in blogger land eat some biscuits for me and describe it for me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee :))))))))))) while you are at it pancakes from cracker barrell is a must!

I got the carpets cleaned (well kyle did) the upholstery cleaned :) YAY it looks so gooooooooooddddddddddddddddddd!! The kitchen was spotless but now its a mess again cause i cooked dinner. What was I thinking @@ I almost have laundry under control and YAYYYYYYYYYY been doing very well :)

I gotta go take a shower and go take care of my uncle eddie and clean his house tonight. It will be the first time in 2 days that i have left my house. Shooooooooo on that!

My cousin came and got savannahs baby bed and insulation is floating around everywhere. I tried getting it up Asbestos i could LOL get it ;)

Oh my i have the energy from hell which can only mean 1 thing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, MY IRON STORES ARE REBUILT!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYY :) i get them checked in october but from the way i am feeling i bet they are rebuilt because i am not short of breath and tired YAY :)))))))))) Okay someone asked what is slight agoraphobia.........agoraphobia is where you are afraid to leave your house, sometimes even a roomI can now leave my house, I just have things I can't do. I have panic attacks picking my son up from school. On hot days, i don't leave the house, I am afraid of malls or anyplace that doesn't have an exit close by. This past year I made leaps and bounds shopping. My husband used to have to do it all, christmas shopping, easter shopping etc, but now i can do most of it :) so thats what my slight is. :) OR :( either way it sucks, but it could always be worse.

Okay back to cleaning!! I have pulled the stove out, the fridge out and cleaned under cabinents and counters :) I flipped the sofa over and pulled it all out. I have reorganized closets. Kyle is getting ready to clean carpets. My kitchen i am spending a ton of time on, so you know Ill be sure to share pictures :) It looks so nice n shiny :)

Okay on the couch, we don't eat corn pops but i flip over the middle sectional part and all over the floor is corn pops? Unless these are something that has mutated to corn pop form, what the hell are they? I wasn't going to pick them up and dissect them so I sucked them all up with my trusty vaccuum cleaner and then blew on the end when i was done.

I am doing walls too YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :) Okay enough time sitting here, I just came to freecycle some more stuff then i am out on my merry way to clean more.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Here's how it works:1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."2. I will respond by asking you five questions -- each person's will be different.3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.So here are Davids questions to me

1)If you had a one way ticket to anywhere in the world where would it be?Probably Maine, its peaceful and near water and to me it just seems like the perfect place!!2)What was the first thing you thought of when you opened your eyes in bed this morning?Why the hell does she keep kickin me in the F'in Face (savannah crawled in bed with us and was kicking the living hell out of my face and when you wake up to that its pretty painful LOL 3)At this moment right now, if you could be doing anything besides this what would it be?Sitting in a cold room, in the dark, watching my favorite moviesOR SHOPPING :)))))))))))))4)If your life was a TV show (new or old) which one would it be and why?Malcolm in the Middle. Our life is so like that its almost surreal5)What is one of your all time favorite memories? Of course the birth of my children but outside of those it would be Going to Florida and one day it was rainy and I Just went and sat on the beach in the drizzle and the beach was empty and i just watched the ocean. It was so peaceful. I love the ocean.

For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column called "MondayNight At Morton's." (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known tobe frequented by movie stars and famous people from around the globe.)Now, Ben is terminating the column to move on to other things in hislife. Reading his final column is well worth a few minutes of your time.

Ben Stein's Last Column...============================================How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?

As I begin to write this, I "slug" it, as we writers say, which means Iput a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is"eonlineFINAL," and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have ! beendoing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started.I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe itwould never end.

It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a personand the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's,while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to.It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars.I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit,and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beattyin an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was asuper movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though itprobably will be again.

Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywoodstars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendlypeople, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a manor ! woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting themin front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we shouldall look up to.

How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives ininsane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we meansomeone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real starsare not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches orgetting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while theyhave Vietnamese girls do their nails.

They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me anylonger. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division whopoked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could havebeen met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced anabject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people ofthe world.

A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to aroad north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and!killed him.

A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S.soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece ofunexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. Hepushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left afamily desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.

The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavishweddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even aftertwo of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered andstripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.

We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of ourmagazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military paybut stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and insubmarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live anddie.

I am no longer comfortable being a part of the! system that has suchpoor values, and I do not want to perpetuate tho se values by pretendingthat who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.

There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...thepolicemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have noidea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bringin people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them forsurgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits intocaring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work inhospices and in cancer wards.

Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at theWorld Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my ideaof a real hero.

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one thatmatters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put itanother way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor asOlivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin...or Martin Mull or FredWillard--or as good an ec! onomist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good awriter as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.

But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, aboveall, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came tobe my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, prettywell with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister'shelp). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years.I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then intoa coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading himthe Psalms.

This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of thesoldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York I came to realize thatlife lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is myduty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to helpothers He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as ahuman! .

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Today has been so hectic, its so irritating. The poor people in London. I have been a news Junkie all day long. :(

You know I have had problems all my life about people taking things that i say and using them to hurt me and ever since that mean comment i physically can not write here anymore. It was my one safe place to vent and now that someone used my feelings against me, I just can't do it at all. I have made a private blog to talk about all my feelings, So i guess I just don't have anything to share or to write, so my time here is probably gonna be short lived or eventually faded out and I will go back to being private where i am safe. I will update once in awhile but not anything personal at all. So thats about it for now.

I don't even feel like writing. I have a terrible headache. Stressed to my witts end and just wanna hibernate for the fucking summer.Thatsssssssss alllllll folkkkkkkkkkkkkksHope everyone has a great day

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I can't believe that it is Wednesday! Where on earth have the days gone? It's already almost time for school to start again! That gets a YAY from me though!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :)))))))))))))))

I have had a headache for the past 2 days, I don't feel it this morning so maybe its gone! I am hoping so.

Juan mowed the grass last night for the first time ever :) He did such a great job that we may let him mow the back. Before he gets to the point where we have to make him mow LOL now he Wants to mow!!!

Not much been happening since the wed day. Weve just been cleaning up and my headache has been making me insane. Alex went home. Bailey is coming to stay the night.

Dressed up to the eyesDressed up to the eyesIt’s a wonderful surpriseIt’s a wonderful surpriseTo see your shoes and your spirits riseTo see your shoes and your spirits riseThrowing out your frownThrowing out your frownAnd just smiling at the soundAnd just smiling at the soundAnd as sleek as a shriekAnd as sleek as a shriekSpinning round and roundSpinning round and roundAlways take a big biteAlways take a big biteIt’s such a gorgeous sightIt’s such a gorgeous sightTo see you eat in the middle of the nightTo see you in the middle of the nightYou can never get enoughYou can never get enoughEnough of this stuffEnough of this stuffIt’s fridayIt’s fridayI’m in loveI’m in love