we're taking it one day at a time.. It's hard but it's worth it. <3 <3 <3

2:31 AM | Sunday, April 24, 2005

When two people know that at some point in their relationship it will have to face an end, should they do anything about it?

Should they make the most out of the time they have left to cope with an even more torn apart heart or do they need to just abruptly end this to save themselves from the grief even though there could still be that one chance of being able to pull everything off?

When should they stop believing? Should they even stop?

What do you do when you have finally reached that fork in the road? You're not exactly there at this very moment but you can see it coming. It's a decision that you can't just toss a coin. Heads I win this thing, tails I lose. It's just not logical.

Life is a bitch. You get to meet this person that finally makes sense to you. When you two are together, all you can feel is perfection. It's like nothing else seems to be wrong with the two of you. You forget about your problems and everything just seems to fit the picture. You accept all his imperfections, knowing that you have those too. You two know that you are madly in love with each other. Yet once you two are apart, that's when questions start pouring in.

You can't just keep pushing things till you reach that dead end. But you can't just stop anytime you want to.

Can you?

2:38 AM | Saturday, April 23, 2005

I seriously feel like goo. I feel like the kind of goo you don't even want to stick your finger in, fearing that the slimey substance will never come off your fingertip. It's an icky feeling that doesn't want to go away. I'm not even the cold goo that you can play with! For those who are familiar, it's called Nickelodeon GAK. But I'm not GAK. I'm not slime. I'm goo.

Gooey goooberly gooooooseingliatingly goo.

12:35 AM |

I was feeling nostalgic today

I ran across a site on PEx and started to look for my old friends. When I say old, I mean almost 12 years ago old. I started looking for my school and old teachers hoping to look for a way to keep in touch with them. My sister said she was able to keep in touch her with old PE teacher (how athletic) when she found his email address on the internet.

The link from PEx was kinda freaky since it can even show you satellite pictures of places you want. For instance, I looked for my old school and this is what I found.

Then I wondered what my old house looked like and I found this.

Now that's scary. I wonder what my old friends are doing right now..

Die dust die!

I'm so allergic to dust it's not even funny. We were cleaning out the lockers today and there was so much dust going around my nose turned Rudolph red. I was supposed to go to our GINTONG SUSI Exhibit but my allergies made me too weak to go.

My good friend Diana is having a dinner tonight since she's leaving tomorrow and I feel too sick to get out of the house!

when you're pissed off, the worst thing anyone can do is rub it in your face. People shouldn't do on saying "Ano bang nangyayari sayo?" (translated: "what the hell is going on with you?" or "Diba sinabi ko sayo wag mo nga gawin yun!?" (translated: "didn't i tell you not to do that!?") It can only make things worse. A lot worse. You can feel the anger bubbling up to the top making you want to scream like a steaming engine. Curses start forming in your head that you have never used before but your mind is stopping you from regretting tomorrow. But when someone is pissed off, the least anyone can do is comfort them, not make them look like a retard who can't comprehend the situation.

7:44 PM | Thursday, April 14, 2005

Dino taught me how to make SUSHI. Yummmm. We had loads of Maki while our eyes were glued to the telly switching from AXN to Studio23 to catch CSI.

8:51 PM | Sunday, April 10, 2005

I painted my own chucks. I wish they'd turn real.

I got this from hanagirl. You can add to the painting, or create your own. just click!

this one is for guess who? :)

2:54 PM |

Work with perks!

I've been gone for a whole week, and this was the vacation I really needed. Okay, so it wasn't a 100% vacation, but being able to work for your mom, earn money, and to do what you really enjoy makes a big difference.

Mom and I really got to bond. Yes, I convinced her to jump on our king-sized bed at the hotel. It's something we don't get to do often. I think everyone should jump on big beds every now and then. It takes out the stress, it exercises the muscles and it's just plain fun. I guess staying at the hotel for four days and three nights with service at your feet is not exactly what people think of as work. I was my mom's personal assistant and it was for an event, which is something I look forward to doing in the future. :)

Treated with royalty Imagine, the moment we got there, we were told that they upgraded our complimentary room to another room that has a king-sized bed and better facilities than regular complimentary rooms. Now THAT has got to be something. Mom isn't supposed to pay anything since she was hired for the event. Meaning all our accomodations, buffet meals and etc are paid for already! oooh yeah!!! Now this is what I'm talking about.

Camwhores and then some.. No, I didn't forget to bring a camera. I HAD TO TAKE PICTURES. I was all prettied up and ready for my solo photo shoot. But I wasn't alone.. Mom had some shots too, as well as my siblings when they followed a few days after. I think this sickness runs in the family. We love the camera. The camera is our friend. Take care of the camera. (on that note, my sister and I are very sad right now since our camera is broke. *pout* It's being fixed but we miss it dearly.) For more photos clickty here.Some of my albums are friends only, so if we're buddies, you know what to do. ;)

8:45 PM | Tuesday, April 05, 2005

<3<3<3 happy one year and four months <3<3<3

9:44 PM | Sunday, April 03, 2005

I have trouble expressing my emotions. I know it's wrong but I think I did this to myself. While I was growing up, I hid more of me and showed more of what they wanted to see. I was always afraid that others will think less of me when I show them how hurt I actually am, or how afraid I am about something. I have these notions that people will not look up to me when they see my weaknesses. It's hard to deal with these emotions when people expect so much from you.

Or maybe I'm expecting it from myself?

I've grown up to show others that I'm a strong woman. That's what I am, strong. I've made them see that they can come up to me whenever something troubles them. That's where I forgot all about myself. I can only open myself up to several people, but they have problems of their own and can't listen to my rantings all day. They get tired from it too, right Pau? Kat? Even my highschool classmate Lee agrees with me about this. We all have to vent sometime, even if others think enough is enough.

That's why I have my blog.

But lately, so many people I know read this and then that fear envelopes me again. What if they think less of me? I can't let that happen. How can I convince myself that other people have problems too?

Sometimes I get sooo pissed and I can't find the words to explain how I feel. I don't know how to take compliments very well either. I blush and say thanks, and in my head I want to hug them and say more things but the words stop at my throat. It sucks having to pretend to be so strong.

9:06 PM |

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I have no idea what's going on right now. I have already composed two entries but my ring finger just keeps pressing on the backspace. *press press press* Nothing I write seems to be right. I can't write on how spectacular my day was since all I did was finish some work for mom and go to mass with my sister. Talk about sisterly-bonding, but we should have bit fat exes ( X ) on our foreheads for not paying attention to mass. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW EFFIN' FUNNY FRIENDS WAS TODAY. It's actually knee-slapping funny.

For those who are avid "F.R.I.E.N.D.S." fans, I'm referring to the episode when Emma just came home and Rachel had the hardest time putting her to sleep.

WARNING! SPOILERS:

Gunther: So I guess Rachel had youR baby?

Ross: Yep, can you believe it?

Gunther: Nope! I still can't believe she slept with you in the first place.

Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a... Huh?

Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing it's Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.

Ross: Ah actually we don't. (Ross walks off)

Joey: Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn't even do anything wrong.

Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didn't do anything wrong?!

Joey: I said I didn't technically.

Ross: Okay let's put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.

Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I don't really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?

Ross: And I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn't.

Joey: I know I should've. (Makes quote marks again.) "I'm sorry."

Ross: Not using it right, Joe.

(He brings his hands in closer to his face then does it again.)

Ross: I'm gonna go.

Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he can’t leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: No, look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry!

Ross: Joey!

Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.

Ross: I'm not gonna hit you.

Joey: Why not? You'll feel better! I'll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.

Ross: No I don't.

Joey: A little bit.

Ross: No.

Joey: Little bit.

Ross: No!

Joey: (excited) A little bit more.

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: No, hit me

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: Hit me.

Ross: Joey, give me the bag.

Joey: Hit me!

Ross: Joe I'm not kidding…

Joey: (interrupting) Hit me, hit me.

Ross: No!

Joey: (shouts) Hit me! Hit me!

(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)

Ross: You ducked!!

Joey: I’m sorry! It was a reflex!

Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!!

Joey: I couldn't help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesn’t and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)

Ross: What is the matter with you?!?

Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn't you duck?

Ross: Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital?

Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."

the designer does not carry the responsibility of the resources used in the header image.

10:10 PM | Wednesday, April 27, 2005

we're taking it one day at a time.. It's hard but it's worth it. <3 <3 <3

2:31 AM | Sunday, April 24, 2005

When two people know that at some point in their relationship it will have to face an end, should they do anything about it?

Should they make the most out of the time they have left to cope with an even more torn apart heart or do they need to just abruptly end this to save themselves from the grief even though there could still be that one chance of being able to pull everything off?

When should they stop believing? Should they even stop?

What do you do when you have finally reached that fork in the road? You're not exactly there at this very moment but you can see it coming. It's a decision that you can't just toss a coin. Heads I win this thing, tails I lose. It's just not logical.

Life is a bitch. You get to meet this person that finally makes sense to you. When you two are together, all you can feel is perfection. It's like nothing else seems to be wrong with the two of you. You forget about your problems and everything just seems to fit the picture. You accept all his imperfections, knowing that you have those too. You two know that you are madly in love with each other. Yet once you two are apart, that's when questions start pouring in.

You can't just keep pushing things till you reach that dead end. But you can't just stop anytime you want to.

Can you?

2:38 AM | Saturday, April 23, 2005

I seriously feel like goo. I feel like the kind of goo you don't even want to stick your finger in, fearing that the slimey substance will never come off your fingertip. It's an icky feeling that doesn't want to go away. I'm not even the cold goo that you can play with! For those who are familiar, it's called Nickelodeon GAK. But I'm not GAK. I'm not slime. I'm goo.

Gooey goooberly gooooooseingliatingly goo.

12:35 AM |

I was feeling nostalgic today

I ran across a site on PEx and started to look for my old friends. When I say old, I mean almost 12 years ago old. I started looking for my school and old teachers hoping to look for a way to keep in touch with them. My sister said she was able to keep in touch her with old PE teacher (how athletic) when she found his email address on the internet.

The link from PEx was kinda freaky since it can even show you satellite pictures of places you want. For instance, I looked for my old school and this is what I found.

Then I wondered what my old house looked like and I found this.

Now that's scary. I wonder what my old friends are doing right now..

Die dust die!

I'm so allergic to dust it's not even funny. We were cleaning out the lockers today and there was so much dust going around my nose turned Rudolph red. I was supposed to go to our GINTONG SUSI Exhibit but my allergies made me too weak to go.

My good friend Diana is having a dinner tonight since she's leaving tomorrow and I feel too sick to get out of the house!

when you're pissed off, the worst thing anyone can do is rub it in your face. People shouldn't do on saying "Ano bang nangyayari sayo?" (translated: "what the hell is going on with you?" or "Diba sinabi ko sayo wag mo nga gawin yun!?" (translated: "didn't i tell you not to do that!?") It can only make things worse. A lot worse. You can feel the anger bubbling up to the top making you want to scream like a steaming engine. Curses start forming in your head that you have never used before but your mind is stopping you from regretting tomorrow. But when someone is pissed off, the least anyone can do is comfort them, not make them look like a retard who can't comprehend the situation.

7:44 PM | Thursday, April 14, 2005

Dino taught me how to make SUSHI. Yummmm. We had loads of Maki while our eyes were glued to the telly switching from AXN to Studio23 to catch CSI.

8:51 PM | Sunday, April 10, 2005

I painted my own chucks. I wish they'd turn real.

I got this from hanagirl. You can add to the painting, or create your own. just click!

this one is for guess who? :)

2:54 PM |

Work with perks!

I've been gone for a whole week, and this was the vacation I really needed. Okay, so it wasn't a 100% vacation, but being able to work for your mom, earn money, and to do what you really enjoy makes a big difference.

Mom and I really got to bond. Yes, I convinced her to jump on our king-sized bed at the hotel. It's something we don't get to do often. I think everyone should jump on big beds every now and then. It takes out the stress, it exercises the muscles and it's just plain fun. I guess staying at the hotel for four days and three nights with service at your feet is not exactly what people think of as work. I was my mom's personal assistant and it was for an event, which is something I look forward to doing in the future. :)

Treated with royalty Imagine, the moment we got there, we were told that they upgraded our complimentary room to another room that has a king-sized bed and better facilities than regular complimentary rooms. Now THAT has got to be something. Mom isn't supposed to pay anything since she was hired for the event. Meaning all our accomodations, buffet meals and etc are paid for already! oooh yeah!!! Now this is what I'm talking about.

Camwhores and then some.. No, I didn't forget to bring a camera. I HAD TO TAKE PICTURES. I was all prettied up and ready for my solo photo shoot. But I wasn't alone.. Mom had some shots too, as well as my siblings when they followed a few days after. I think this sickness runs in the family. We love the camera. The camera is our friend. Take care of the camera. (on that note, my sister and I are very sad right now since our camera is broke. *pout* It's being fixed but we miss it dearly.) For more photos clickty here.Some of my albums are friends only, so if we're buddies, you know what to do. ;)

8:45 PM | Tuesday, April 05, 2005

<3<3<3 happy one year and four months <3<3<3

9:44 PM | Sunday, April 03, 2005

I have trouble expressing my emotions. I know it's wrong but I think I did this to myself. While I was growing up, I hid more of me and showed more of what they wanted to see. I was always afraid that others will think less of me when I show them how hurt I actually am, or how afraid I am about something. I have these notions that people will not look up to me when they see my weaknesses. It's hard to deal with these emotions when people expect so much from you.

Or maybe I'm expecting it from myself?

I've grown up to show others that I'm a strong woman. That's what I am, strong. I've made them see that they can come up to me whenever something troubles them. That's where I forgot all about myself. I can only open myself up to several people, but they have problems of their own and can't listen to my rantings all day. They get tired from it too, right Pau? Kat? Even my highschool classmate Lee agrees with me about this. We all have to vent sometime, even if others think enough is enough.

That's why I have my blog.

But lately, so many people I know read this and then that fear envelopes me again. What if they think less of me? I can't let that happen. How can I convince myself that other people have problems too?

Sometimes I get sooo pissed and I can't find the words to explain how I feel. I don't know how to take compliments very well either. I blush and say thanks, and in my head I want to hug them and say more things but the words stop at my throat. It sucks having to pretend to be so strong.

9:06 PM |

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I have no idea what's going on right now. I have already composed two entries but my ring finger just keeps pressing on the backspace. *press press press* Nothing I write seems to be right. I can't write on how spectacular my day was since all I did was finish some work for mom and go to mass with my sister. Talk about sisterly-bonding, but we should have bit fat exes ( X ) on our foreheads for not paying attention to mass. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW EFFIN' FUNNY FRIENDS WAS TODAY. It's actually knee-slapping funny.

For those who are avid "F.R.I.E.N.D.S." fans, I'm referring to the episode when Emma just came home and Rachel had the hardest time putting her to sleep.

WARNING! SPOILERS:

Gunther: So I guess Rachel had youR baby?

Ross: Yep, can you believe it?

Gunther: Nope! I still can't believe she slept with you in the first place.

Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a... Huh?

Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing it's Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.

Ross: Ah actually we don't. (Ross walks off)

Joey: Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn't even do anything wrong.

Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didn't do anything wrong?!

Joey: I said I didn't technically.

Ross: Okay let's put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.

Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I don't really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?

Ross: And I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn't.

Joey: I know I should've. (Makes quote marks again.) "I'm sorry."

Ross: Not using it right, Joe.

(He brings his hands in closer to his face then does it again.)

Ross: I'm gonna go.

Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he can’t leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: No, look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry!

Ross: Joey!

Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.

Ross: I'm not gonna hit you.

Joey: Why not? You'll feel better! I'll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.

Ross: No I don't.

Joey: A little bit.

Ross: No.

Joey: Little bit.

Ross: No!

Joey: (excited) A little bit more.

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: No, hit me

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: Hit me.

Ross: Joey, give me the bag.

Joey: Hit me!

Ross: Joe I'm not kidding…

Joey: (interrupting) Hit me, hit me.

Ross: No!

Joey: (shouts) Hit me! Hit me!

(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)

Ross: You ducked!!

Joey: I’m sorry! It was a reflex!

Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!!

Joey: I couldn't help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesn’t and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)

Ross: What is the matter with you?!?

Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn't you duck?

Ross: Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital?

Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."