The world is so screwed up that even our highly intelligent and resourceful President Obama can’t deal with its myriad complexities. Things need to be simplified and a drunk, a lunatic, or a leftist is needed. I possibly qualify on the first two counts. Therefore, farcically facially radical but really simple change we can believe in offers the only possible answers.

In an earlier article, I suggested that some of the country’s many problems can be ameliorated by simply moving the seat of government (and all of its bursting appendixes) to Haiti. This will not only save lots of taxpayer government money, it will also improve both Washington and Haiti. However, we must not ignore other major problems. Heck, the slaves in the United States still need to be freed. This article offers a few additional modest proposals for true change.

The United Nations must abandon decadent New York City and relocate to some less-expensive place more in keeping with its lofty humanitarian principles. As a side benefit, the UN headquarters will become a really cool mega-mosque-community center where people of every race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, and ideology can come together in peace and harmony — as they now do so effectively at the UN. Even though not as close to Ground Zero as some desire, it will be a compromise welcomed by all.

Somalia comes immediately to mind as a new home for the UN, but there are many deserving alternatives. Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Iran, and the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) are among them. The advantages would be numerous. Since Luputa exists only in fiction, it could well be even better. In his travels there, Gulliver became acquainted with “flappers”:

I observed here and there many in the Habit of Servants, with a blown Bladder fastned like a Flail to the End of a short Stick, which they carried in their Hands. In each Bladder was a small Quantity of dried Pease, or little Pebbles, (as I was afterwards informed.) With these Bladders they now and then flapped the Mouths and Ears of those who stood near them, of which Practice I could not then conceive the Meaning. It seems the Minds of these People are so taken up with intense Speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the Discourses of others, without being rouzed by some external Taction upon the Organs of Speech and Hearing; for which Reason those Persons who are able to afford it always keep a Flapper (the Original is Climenole) in their Family, as one of their Domesticks; nor ever walk abroad or make Visits without him.

In all of the countries suggested above, there will be numerous flapper candidates and most of them will be delighted to work for next to nothing. The remote possibility that flappers might make things even worse should not even be considered. Tense and immobilizing speculation may well seem better than actually doing something, but would merely perpetuate the status quo.

A truly international currency must soon emerge to displace the dollar. Labels are of critical importance, and the “World Unified Stable Standard Bolívar Fuerte” (WUSS-BF) would be good. The individual words even sound good: “Stable” is reassuring, “Unified” bespeaks togetherness, we all need “Standards,” and a bit of Spanish is also appropriate — “Bolívar Fuerte” means strong Bolivar. Fuerte is a very good word! It alone has done wonders for Venezuela, and el Presidente Chávez can be counted upon for support. Using “strong,” or “WUSS-BS,” would not be as cohesive.

We are now all citizens of the world and must be united and therefore equal in every respect. A common currency will go a long way toward eliminating the need for apologies to the rest of the world, at least for future presidents.

The United States has not become too European; it has not become European (or Asian or Latin American or African or whatever) enough. We need to do much more:

A firm belief in the individual’s ability, ideas, courage, will and a reliance on one’s own resources brought the U.S. to the top. The American dream promised everyone the chance of upward mobility — literally from rags to riches, from minimum wage to millionaire. The individual’s pursuit of happiness was seen as the crucial foundation for the well-being of society, rather than the benevolent state which cares for its subjects — and certainly not the welfare state, which provides a social safety net for its citizens.

We can’t look backward; we must look forward to a brighter and better future for all. Open borders, more open even than in Europe, are necessary. Otherwise, according to Jorge Castaneda, formerly Mexico’s foreign secretary and currently Global Distinguished Professor of Politics and Latin American and Caribbean Studies at New York University, the United States will continue to be responsible for massacres. Such as the disgraceful recent massacre of seventy-two innocent Latin American immigrants in the border state of Tamaulipas, Mexico, trying in vain to reach salvation promised (falsely) in the United States. The United States must yield to “the inevitability of large-scale migration of low-wage workers.” With credentials such as his, the views of Castaneda must be given every bit of the serious consideration they deserve.

I’m sorry, but Paris won’t be acceptable. Many allegedly fine wines (and whines, of course) are available there. Wines (but not whines) offend Islamic sensibilities. Somalia is largely Islamic and has an appropriate level of violence. Should Luputa be rejected, Somalia is the best choice.

. . . Of course, colleges and universities, trying desparately to seem relevant and far above secondary school fare, have cloaked their curriculum offerings by gussying them up with grand course titles such as ”Dynamic Exploration Of Radio Talk Shows: A Process Approach,” “Aesthetic Early Cubism In Modern Sculptures,” and “Urban Italian Retrospectives In Today’s Society.”

But the proof is in the pudding and course content and they’re not succeeding very well in concealing the truth that course content, as opposed to course titles, is increasingly sophomoric.

In article on “Crazy College Courses,” Carol Berman takes issue with that contention: ”Study for an exam on Syrah? Take a lab in levitation? How about tuning into TV for credit? All this is possible in college today, even in the Ivy League. Courses not only sound more interesting than “Calculus 101,” they actually are! However, courses that sound fun may not always be easy . . . Easy classes do exist, but don’t get fooled by the creative subject titles. You will have to work.”

That’s a matter of opinion. I took Calc 101. Watching television for college credit could in no possible way be as difficult.

Berman also addresses a serious issue related to dumbing down, binge drinking: It’s difficult to teach hung over–and strung out–students. Nevertheless, despite that serious collegiate issue in one course at least one Ivy League school plies students with alcohol. . .
(Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=2108

All joining hands and singing kum-ba-ya will be an extremely heart warming experience. Unfortunately, we will not be able to afford Maalox; perhaps some free herbal remedies for heart burn will still exist.

I doubt it, the strict Islamists usually abhor music, dancing, or any other sign that their subjects… er, I meant citizens… are actually having any fun. Misery, sacrifice and death are their criterion for a successful society, because only by being miserable can one prove that one has fully submitted their own will, purpose and happiness to the service of Allah.

Point well taken. Perhaps we could join them in burning some tires and stoning some adulteresses. Togetherness is good and we must be part of it. Our guilt could thereby be assuaged and they would come to learn that we love them all.

We have to concede one thing about the climate crowd: They’re flexible, adaptable. They have to be.

Back in the ’70′s, when the planet was in a normal, cyclical cool spell, they ranted about the Earth turning into one huge ice cube. As another normal, cyclical event, global heating, kicked in, without even a pause or admission that they were wrong about the ice cube, they adopted the global warming mantra. When that grew problematic, again without skipping a beat, they moved on to “climate change.” And, most recently, the White House, perhaps feeling that “climate change” wasn’t nearly dramatic or scarifying enough, chose “Global Climate Disruption” to replace it.

White House science advisor, John Holdren, was pushing the new nomenclature last week. That’s the same John Holdren who has advocated for a redistribution of America’s wealth so that underdeveloped and deprived Third World nations can become more developed and less deprived by virtue of Americans becoming less developed and consuming less and thereby become more deprived.

Got that?

He’s also the same John Holdren, Obama’s science czar and global warming enthusiast who is the unofficial Josef Mengele of the administration for his belief that babies aren’t really full-fledged human beings for their first few years of life until they are adequately “socialized” and fed well: http://bit.ly/byf6te