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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Stuck in two worlds

I am very fortunate. I have a lot of great things happening in my life right now. I am very thankful that I have what I have when others are struggling. However, that doesn't mean I don't worry and have my own problems. Right now I feel like I am stuck in two worlds. I have all these great things coming up soon yet all I can do is think about them. I am a person who craves stability, likes to know exactly what is going to happen and that things will be ok. I know in the end everything will be ok, but I am not liking this process. I feel that yea I can think about the wedding, getting a job, moving to Delaware yet I can't really do anything about any of it at the moment and that makes me nervous. It's hard when you live in a totally different state and need to do everything by phone or on the net. How I have to schedule myself to be in the same place with family and Jeff to check things out which takes longer which doesn't assure us that we will get the dates we want. I just want at least one thing to come through so I can start planning and feeling better about it. In six months everything will be great I'm sure, but now Im getting nervy. Yes, I am a worry wart. I just want to know where I am going and how things are going to work out.