Welcome to Toronto Sun Cover Reviews, a blog on which I post daily reviews of Toronto Sun covers.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

20 July 2010

Front and centre: In today's news, a grown man holds his nose because of a poo smell in the run-down Kew Beach public washroom. Judging by the man's over-the-top clowning, the poo smell must be apocalyptic—I'm thinking Level 4 Burrito, Family Edition? The Sun actually dispatched a professional photographer to Kew Beach to take pictures of sad toilets (hey, even Annie Leibovitz had to start somewhere). Call me a septic skeptic, but I think our friend on the cover is trying to pass the buck. As the Bible says, "Whoever smelt it dealt it on Kew Beach."

Top: Ontario's Environment Minister John Gerretsen is going to scrap the controversial eco-fee program that was making everyone poo their pants. Also: the Lotto Max jackpot is $50 million with $26 million in Maxmillions. With that kind of money, we could start a dedicated toilet-themed newspaper that focuses on the toilet stories you won't hear about in the Liberal media.

Bottom: You wanna see a pristine toilet? Do yourself a favour and head for the washrooms at the Arizona Bar & Grill. It's like shitting on a princess.

Summary: Aside from the poo smell, I also smell something else: a Pulitzer Prize for Investigative Reporting!

**** (out of 5)

BONUS:

Today's Sun Reader Comment of the Day prize goes to someone named Welcome to the Socialist Paradise of Torontograd:

"If only the poor people would rise up and defeat their masters, we would have clean washrooms."

Why?

The Toronto Sun is the city of Toronto's most reactionary/hilarious newspaper, with a broad readership that includes everyone from old men who wear track pants and fish in the Don River to young women with Support Our Troops tramp stamps.