From Name Calling To Death Threats

by Heather Starks
(Wonder Lake, Illinois, USA)

My son has been a victim of bullies from 2nd grade until 11th grade. We would go to the school, they would stop the name calling and pushing for a while then it started again. It was a never ending battle. When our son started high school he started dressing differently and just did not fit into this small school world. He would be picked on and he would just blow it off. He is a jr this year and he started hanging with kids who the high school boys did not like him hanging with. Long story short he was called "fag" "emo" and pushed around. He would file harassment forms that did nothing.

This past November he had 2 notes in his locker that said "kill yourself" and "take a bath in your own blood" The police were called and they said they would do an investigation. My son's grades were failing and he was not himself. He was mad all the time, he would have fits of rage. My husband and I decided it was time for him to change schools due to the fact that this was not a safe environment for him. I work at the same school and I had a student come up to me and tell me that she and her friends wrote the notes. I reported it to the principal. After a so-called investigation she said she did not believe it was these students who did it.

My son and I moved in with my mother and he changed schools. My youngest son and my husband still live in our house because of rental obligations. We called the police department 2 months after the death threat and they told us the case was closed due to my son moving out of the district. My husband and I are looking into getting a lawyer to see what we can do. I am in shock that they police would not look into this matter and the school did nothing to help us because there is no "proof" of who did this.

Our family has gone through hell and someone needs to know our story. The tax payers need to know how this school deals with bullies. On a good note our son is very happy now and feels safe with his new school, he is passing all his classes and has been accepted.

Comments for From Name Calling To Death Threats

Good for you Heather for finding the courage to take charge and make a good change for your son. It is tragic that bullies have to ruin and control our lives. The world is filled with these sad people. Thankfully public awareness is increasing and maybe one day bullying can be eliminated. It is people like you who can help make it happen. Keep it up!

deepest sympathiesby: Anonymous

I'm sorry to hear a story such as this. I was an outcast in high school as well and it's never easy. We moved states for family reasons when I was in 11th grade from South Florida to Mocksville, North Carolina.

When I moved to the south is when I experienced some bullying because i was "goth" and a "geek". It's never easy, what helped me was art. Help him find something he is passionate about, it helped me overcome my bullying and I'm a better person for it. I hope things stay positive for you both in his new school.

Sadly, many schools are not equipped to deal with bullying and needs to be looked at and re-evaluated.

Thank youby: Heather

Thank you for your comments. My husband and I are trying so hard to get this school to look at the mistakes they have made and make it better for the other children. They can not close their eyes anymore they MUST get a bully program in place no other family should go through this. We are also trying to find out why the police closed the case and never told us. We have hit a few walls but with comments from people like you guys it gives us the push we need.

Our son is very into art and music and he is involved in this in his new school and is feeling great about himself now but he still wants his story told.

Heather - response to posting.by: John Elliott

This sounds like a very sad but familiar story, when males are targeted by bullies who use unpleasant slurs. I was subject to a similar form of bullying, albeit on the basis of actually being gay, when I was twenty years old at University. My story is recorded on this site. Some of my negative experiences included other malicious heterosexual male students in the first year of my course. Their actions included mocking gay people who were 'coming out' as part of their time at University, by immature same sex kissing and simulation of gay acts, thus upturning the experience into an unpleasant and distressing one. They were supposed to be espousing egalitarian ideas, and were the 'top layer' of educated people. Again, the University did nothing, and I was treated even more unfairly by a key member of staff. I would treat the 'threats' as complete childish rubbish, don't internalise them. I hope things improve for your son. Regards, John.

fed up momby: kelly smith

oh how this all sounds so familar. we are still going through this. i have removed her from this school and am home schooling her. but i dont know if i made the right decision. after about 2 years of this i tried working with the school. i even offered ways to raise money for speakers or anything else that would help with this bulling problem. all of this fell on deaf ears. their response was that they had to follow their guidelines for bulling. which by the way are very limited. needless to say nothing was done. i fear how this is all affecting my daughter. how many teenage suicides is it going to take for these school boards and and legislators to get involved and help fix the problem!

Same thing is happening to my aonby: Anonymous

My son is in 6th grade and is receiving death threats in the form of notes being shoved into his locker. The police did not investigate and the school minimized it and even jokingly said that it wasn't even bullying. They have also done nothing because they do not have proof of who it is. So I was wondering if you had found any way to bring your son justice.

Son receiving threats from female classmateby: Anonymous

My 10 yr old son is currently going through this right now. . . . and it's a 9 yr old girl doing this and others to not just my son but his friends. He has been threatened to be killed, and I have let the counselor, teacher, and several faculty, mainly the playground know. It does worry me though that the only phone I have personally received is from the teacher when this first started. This makes my son so worried that he now doesn't trust the faculty either. . . . schools are supposed to be one of the safe havens for kids.

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