What do you do when you can't have any more fun? That’s right—you ruin it for everyone.

Now we know that the Oil lasted until the 81st game of the year before they were eliminated from the playoffs. We know there’s one more game left this season, and that most of the Oilers are about to be recruited to world championship teams and will soon be dispersing for the summer.

But before they roll out of town there’s one last thing they need to do tonight to put an exclamation point on the comeback-that-almost-was 2007–08: Beat Vancouver and put a big ol’ wrench in their playoff plans. We would love nothing more than:

The Sedin sisters to marry the Olsen twins (doesn’t matter who marries who) and give birth to the Sedinian-Olsen Octoplets. So many little sets of booties...

The Canucks to lose tonight, and be forced to the sidelines for another long summer in VanCity.

The ‘80s super group Wham to reunite and bring their harmless bubble gum pop sound into 2008.

These are our wishes, they don’t have to all occur tonight. Just #2.

Dandy Sandy

It has been widely speculated by smart folks like those at PunjabiOil that this could be Geoff Sanderson’s last game in the NHL. He has been on the shelf with “back spasms” for the past few games. We know the Oil will do the right thing and let the elder statesman finish his career on his skates where he belongs instead of high in the press box.