Sunday, 1 June 2014

HAPPY NEW MONTH!! --/ WHO SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED?

Hello hi,

Happy new month to everyone. I wish you what you wish yourself, according to God's will :). Today's story is inspired by a collection of thoughts, imaginations and experiences that make you wonder how one should feel in certain situations. So I wrote this up, please leave your comments behind; i'd really love to know what you really think when you read it...lol. Enjoy.

YOU WERE
ON YOUR OWN, waiting for the power supply to be restored so that you could
resume watching the “Note book” movie. You had been on holiday for the past 2 weeks,
the most boring holiday you had ever had so far. Most of your friends had
travelled out of the city and you could not get a job as no one would hire you
for less than a month. You sat outside on the balcony, watching the lizards
jump over the fence as the pigeons flew over the roof of your father’s house.
Your phone began to ring; you contemplated picking it up as you saw his name
and number. It was one of your persistent ‘chykers’
that you had no interest in dating but you picked up anyway because you were
bored and not busy.

“Hey,
what’s up?” You said

“Nothing
much. Wanna hang out with me tomorrow?” he replied without asking how your day
was going,

“I’m not
sure that I will be free tomorrow but I will check my schedule and let you know
by then” you answered, even though you knew that tomorrow would not be any
different from today and you would be just as free as you are today.

That was
one of the things you did not like about him besides his smoking and drinking
habits; he cursed so much that sometimes he did not even realise when he did it.

“So what
do you say?” he continued “Can I come pick you up tomorrow?”

“I said
I don’t know yet. Besides I can’t stay out too late” you replied

“That
should not be a problem; I get off work early tomorrow so I should be free by
1pm. I could come get you by then and we can go somewhere”

“Ok
then, till tomorrow. I have to go now; I’ve got something cooking on the stove”
you lied about the cooking because the power supply had just come back on.

“Ok
then, see you tomorrow. Bye-Bye” he said

“Bye”
you responded inattentively and continued watching the movie.

The next
morning, the power had been cut off again; apparently this was not unusual in
your country but that did not mean that you liked it either or that you would
ever get used to it. You had made up your mind to go out with him that
afternoon so you sent a text asking him to meet you at a nearby fast-food restaurant
by 2pm. “Good, I would be hungry by then, see you at 2. Ps: my lunch is on your
headJ” his text response read. You laughed and replied “Mine
is on your head and body”.

You left
the house at half past one in the afternoon so that you could be there on time
as you hated that phrase “African time”. Impressively, he was already there
waiting for you. After exchanging pleasantries, both of you sat and started
conversing; half of your time you spent reminding him to stop cursing and half
of his, he spent apologising to you. After thirty minutes of what seemed to be
a futile dialogue between two of you, you were beginning to feel uncomfortable
because none of you had had placed an order for drinks or food. You sensed that
the waiters at the counter were watching you, although that might have just
been in your head. “Shouldn’t we order something to drink?” you asked him; “I
was just about to say that” he said. You did not say anything even though you
thought he was lying and you stood up with him to go place the order at the
counter.

“What
would like to have, Madam?” the waitress asked you, “A bottle of water and a
meat-pie please”. He turned to look at you “Is that all you’re going to eat?”
he asked surprised. You smiled and nodded, saying that you were not very
hungry. He shrugged and placed his order – fried rice, chicken, plaintain,
moi-moi and a pack of juice. ‘He must have been starving’, you thought to
yourself. The waitress told him that your bill together was 5,000 Naira. He
turned to look at you smiling and you smiled back, not sure about what was
going on until he asked you to pay. You hid your surprise and took out 1000
Naira from your purse, your mum had given it to you earlier to use to get her
call credit (thank God for vex money
and that you had not ask for too much food; at least your bill alone was 700
Naira). You gave the waitress your money,
avoiding eye contact with him. She asked if both of you were paying separately
to which you replied ‘Yes’. “What about me? I thought we agreed that you would
pay for my lunch” he said. “Are you serious?” you asked him, wondering what
sort of joke this was. “Of course I’m serious. I don’t have any money with me” he
said while the warmed up already-prepared-food was brought by another waiter to
the counter. After minute of awkward silence, the waitress said to him “Oga please pay. People are waiting on
the queue”. “Did you not hear me? I said I don’t have any money” he responded,
almost shouting. “I don’t have money for you either” you answered, now beginning
to feel like he was pushing this joke too far. “In that case, sorry we can’t
have the food” he said to the waitress and left the counter, going back to sit
at the table. You went to meet him at the table and told him you were going
home. While you were speaking to him, the restaurant manager came to ask him if
there had been any problem with the food or the service. “No sir, it’s just
personal” he responded with no glimpse of remorse. ‘Just personal’, you could not understand him. However you apologised
to the manager and left the place with your head bowed down.

He ran
after you, walking along with you while you ignored him. After minutes of
silence, he dared to say to you “I hope you didn’t feel embarrassed in there. In
my defence, I told you beforehand that my food was on your head” You stopped
abruptly, anger boiling inside your head veins before you turned to him and screamed
“I told you that mine was on your whole body. Now please stop following me!” As
you continued your walk home, what shocked you the most was how calm he had
looked the entire time, no portray of shame or guilt, no feeling of embarrassment
whatsoever; meanwhile you felt so much shame and embarrassment such that you
knew you would not be visiting that restaurant in a long time. It made you
wonder if he lacked dignity or self-pride or whether you were just over-reacting.
And so you asked yourself- ‘Who really should be embarrassed; you, him, none of
you or both of you?’

Have a lovely week ahead, don't forget to like and share with your friends. xx (Twitter: @vivio_gogo, instagram: ugochiukah)

25 comments:

The truth is I as the laDy involved wud have been embarrassed but he too shd also have been embarrAsseD and doubly at that.is the guy A Nigerian,cOs Nigerians have the culture that d guYs usuAlly pay for such outings. I think embarrassment is different from shame. Dec 19

If I was d lady involved I wud feel embarrassed not ashamed but the guy shd be very embarrassed if not ashamed especially if he is a nigerian guy. Cos nigerians have the culture that the guy pays for such outings. Dec 19

Haha..as for me,i will not be embarrassed.I have money to pay for my order,that kind of sorts it out for me.so when i noticed the drama wit the nonsense guy that ordered all those plenty things without having the intention of paying,i for just jejely sit down or wait outside(that is if i feel like being nice oh).from the story,the guy is not a serious person,so he might not even see the need to be embarrassed.Im still dey claim right.

That's so embarrassing. I'm sure I won't speak to the guy again. The fact that he doesn't feel embarrassed makes it worse. Smh...I vex on the girl's behalf. It just shows how different we all are. I find myself asking those sorts of questions these days....how is it that this person doesn't do things the way I expect them to be done normally I think. I guess that is the way life is. Abi?

I actually Laughed out Loud. Shame on that man since I was on my own jeje and he decided to take me out. I would have left him immediately after paying for mine and it will be our last encounter. Yes, I am mean like that.

It's no doubt, the lady would feel more embarrassed and ashamed even if she had money to pay for her order. No lady would like to go on a date and meet such a mess. So I would say it's an embarrassment on her part for accepting to go on a date with such a man even to the extent of putting up with his manners. And as for the young man, it is a very big shame he couldn't act up to standard(like a real man). Why should you take a lady out on a date and demand that the bill be payed up by her??? Who does that?? The fact that he doesn't feel embarrassed makes it worse and shows his kind of person... I still feel both in some way, should be embarrassed (we are humans)

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