Wednesday, January 14, 2009

HEY...I'm Ranting Here...

OK, first let me give y'all an update on the New Year's Day ticket I got in hubby's car. Hubby and Turbo-Tot and I went down to the courthouse around 8:45 am ~ yes around. We're in rural Texas; for my ticket I needed to "Show-up sometime before the 15th". We went into a little office with the judge, started talking, the munchkin started smiling and waving, and by 9 am it was dismissed in full, both counts. WHOOT!!! Turned out that yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a really long time. Great day. Today is a lot colder, but no reason yet for it to not be as good if not better ~ haven't checked the Mega Million numbers for last night, and 8 am is probably a little early for Oprah to start making calls...However, I do have a mini rant about a few things, the first of which is an article I read on Yahoo Finance this morning. It was an article reprinted from Kiplinger.com, called Resolved: This Year, I'll Keep More Cash. Number four is by far the dumbest 'tip' I have read about keeping your money in your wallet...And I quote:4. Raise your insurance deductibles. Increasing the deductible on your car insurance from $250 to $1,000 can save up to 15% on your premiums -- or about $125 per year on an average premium of $829. Upping the deductible on your homeowners policy can slice your rate by about 25%, or $191 on an average premium of $764.Stacy Rapacon wrote the article, and all I can say is, "Stacy, don't write before your full pot of coffee". WTF is this chick thinking? And they wonder why women had the stigma for years of not being able to handle money... Idiotic statements like this are the reason why. Congrats Stacy, you've blown us back to the pre-Suffragette days.This tip suggests that putting $10.42 a month in your pocket (what a savings of $125 a year really breaks down to!) is worth spending an additional $750 on your deductible when something happens. Lady, put down the crack pipe! I could consider the advice as valid if you were saving $750 a year, but $125...? What the hell are you going to do when someone runs you down like the dog that they are and you have to come up with said deductible. For less than $10.50 a month? I'm happy to give up two cups of Starbucks and a Hamburger Happy Meal every month in order to not have to pay out an additional $750 when the texting teenager who is also headbanging to heavy metal doesn't see me (astonishingly!) when he or she takes off from their semi-stop like they just saw the green light during a drag race, and takes out my quarter panel.See, I would've saved this rant for Kiplinger's but there was no where to comment on this article. So now you get it, but hey, umm, not for nothing, don't take that particular piece of financial advice from that particular article. It's ridiculously stupid... as in: the little people with the nice jackets are here to see you, Stacy, you forgot to take your meds again, didn't you honey?On a completely different subject...Aunt Flo, where the fuck are you? I know you're coming you cruel bitch, quit trying to pull a stealth maneuver on me. With the passing of hubby's bro last month, he wasn't in the mood. I don't cheat, my fingers aren't loaded, and I haven't been abducted by aliens as far as I know (only infected with their mutant cold virus) on top of all that, I'm Fixed!!! So c'mon you sneaky, wretched, vicious troll-monkey! I've got my cheesecake and Chex-Mix. Get a move on before hubby and Turbo-Tot and I finish them off before you make your grand and terrible entrance.And speaking of troll-monkey makes me think of... Fuzzy Toe. I notice hairy toes on men, but they don't really bother me, but on women... Ladies, please, if you have fuzzy toes, Shave Them. You are not up for a part in the re-remake of Planet of the Apes. If your man isn't giving up the sex, or is acting distant, or simply doesn't like your cooking any more, you have a case of Fuzzy Toe, or as I sometimes call it, Monkey Toe. If you need a reminder, get your toes tattooed (facing you so you can read it) S H A V E (other foot) H E R E ! Please ladies with Monkey Toes, there's Women's Lib, and then there's gross. Shave the fuzzy feet.Well, I'm going to go back to doing jumping jacks now... they're a two pronged approach; one they keep a girl warm which is a huge bonus today, and two, it has the possibility of bringing Aunt Flo out of hiding...If I start lactating, I'm calling the Pope... and maybe Scully and Mulder...

8 comments:

I only have ONE cruel question/word for ya'..............Pre-menopause????

Yikes! It is possible...it throws things WAY out of whack.....and happens between 45 and 55........or even sooner.Sorry....I just HAD to ask.(I can see you now, whipping out the "puter" and going on Google typing furiously "P-R-E-M-E-N-O-P-A-U-S-E"....Then show it to your hubby....it will explain a lot of symptoms you can blame whatever on............Take Care!!

Aria, I live vicariously through you - you say all kinds of stuff I'm not brave enough to - you totally crack me up! :-D Way to go on getting out of your ticket girl!!! And you didn't even need to cry or anything!! Woot for you! :-)

Just to clarify to FLO....that's why I called it PRE-(you know BEFORE) menopause....I know you are too young for the big M....But,not to worry...Flo had a sense of humor didn't she??????LOL...The Retired One :-)

MOM! Shut Up!

I am guided by my relationship with God...and I cuss, smoke, and drink on occasion. I am common sense and crazy. I can tell you what's wrong with American society, but can't get my own housework done. Yin. Yang. I like to think of it as well-rounded balance.