1000 Irritating Thingshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com
Because the world can be a very irritating place.Thu, 31 Jan 2013 16:27:30 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1#22: When your socks get just a little bit wet and you have to change themhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/RopC-oCjQoc/181
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/181#commentsThu, 31 Jan 2013 16:05:24 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=181[...]]]>It’s a new day. Looking good. Shower, shave, all the morning stuff. You get dressed. Shirt, pants, and socks, etc. You take care of your carpets, so the shoes are by the door.

Oops — need one last check in the mirror before heading downstairs.

And you step on that little spot of water left from when you step out of the shower. Of course. You couldn’t have stepped two inches to the left. And your sock gets just a little bit wet.

Is it too wet to live with all day? Hard to tell.

So you change your socks.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/181/feed0http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/181?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=22-when-your-socks-get-just-a-little-bit-wet-and-you-have-to-change-them#21: When you need to mow the lawn, but it is raininghttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/aUO2msnAh1g/178
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/178#commentsSat, 08 Sep 2012 21:17:45 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=178[...]]]>Nobody likes to mow the lawn. Okay, guys with rider mowers like to mow the lawn, but us ordinary pull-it-and-start-pushing schlubs definitely don’t.

But it has to be done. And it generally has to be done on Saturday. Rider mower or not, nobody likes to mow in the evening after work, and Sunday’s are for resting.

So when Saturday rolls around and the grass is pretty long and thick, and it’s time to break out the John Deere and go at it, you make the best of it.

Only it’s raining. And you end up mowing on God’s day. Or Monday night. Or maybe you just let it go another week and risk the ire of your neighbors. Whatever way, it’s not good.

Until that little kernel gets stuck in there. And no amount of tongue manipulation can dislodge that little kernel husk from that awkward location between your tooth and gum.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/173/feed1http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/173?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=20-when-a-popcorn-husk-gets-stuck-in-your-teeth#19: When cereal drys and sticks to the side of your bowl.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/bt_PdLGgFvw/171
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/171#commentsSun, 26 Aug 2012 19:02:01 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=171[...]]]>A late night snack is cool. Who doesn’t like a just-before-you-go-to-bed snack? And who doesn’t like a little, say, Special K for that snack. I know I do.

So down you go. You grab a bowl, pour out that cereal-y goodness. Maybe you even have strawberries in it. . You munch. You empty the bowl. But wait, there’s still milk in there! You need some more cereal. Uh-oh — now there’s too much cereal! A little more milk. After a few iterations of this, you are done.

The kitchen is all clean. You’re tired. So naturally you put the bowl in the sink and head off to some serious slumbering bliss.

And then the next morning, when you go to clean that bowl, the cereal is stuck to the side with the strength of an industrial adhesive. A spoon edge scraped across it barely makes a dent.

And my dog is really sweet. She’s a chocolate lab. We got her from a growing family that didn’t have room for her anymore. She’s protective, yet gentle. She barks at the right people and doesn’t bark at the right people. She’s a lovely dog.

But right now, as I type this at the table, she is shoving her brown, wet nose up under my left elbow. It’s leaving a little wet, annoying slobber on my forearm.

I’m trying to type here, Martha.

Okay, so she needs to go out. That’s my job. But my elbow still has slobber on it.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/153/feed0http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/153?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=18-when-your-dog-sticks-her-wet-nose-under-your-elbow#17: When the gas pump always drips when you are done no matter what you dohttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/ygM2azW6Pww/147
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/147#commentsSat, 04 Aug 2012 17:17:13 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=147[...]]]>Nobody likes to pump gas, but we all have to do it. And of course nobody likes the smell of gas, and so we all work hard to not spill any.

So there you are, pumping away, and the handle clicks to stop pumping gas. The tank is full. Time to close up. Of course, you don’t want any gas getting on your car. Maybe you are extra careful and nice and you don’t want any spilling on the ground. Like I am. So you rattle and shake the handle, turning it in every direction to get that last drop out. You are making a huge racket, but dang it, you aren’t going to make a mess, not even a small one.

And then you pull the handle out. And it drips that one last little drop. Right on the ground. Every time.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/147/feed1http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/147?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=17-when-the-gas-pump-always-drips-when-you-are-done-no-matter-what-you-do#16: When the dental floss won’t go in the trash can.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/rTvMb1BPdh4/143
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/143#commentsSun, 29 Jul 2012 13:34:43 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=143[...]]]>Okay, no picture for this one. I’m sure you are fine with that.

So we all floss our teeth, right? Okay, you at least know you shouldfloss your teeth, so let’s pretend for a minute that you actually do.

So you pull out a nice length of floss. You wrap it around your fingers. You start in the back and go tooth by tooth just like the dentist showed you. You start getting a little of that minty goodness going (because you did get the mint flavored floss, right?) You work your way around, top and bottom, and you’ve rooted out all the little chunks of….stuff in there. All the popcorn husks are out. And really, past that, who knows what the heck is in there? The floss is getting a little raggedy, but hey, no problem, you are almost done.

And then it’s time to throw out the floss. So you grab one end, dangle it down, and try to get it into the garbage can. Does it go? Not without a fight. And its not like you are going to shove down into that garbage can.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/143/feed1http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/143?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=16-when-the-dental-floss-wont-go-in-the-trash-can#15: When overhead fluorescent lights shine right in your eyeshttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/rGTP1Fsjel4/134
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/134#commentsMon, 23 Jul 2012 00:35:44 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=134[...]]]>It’s a nice office. Well appointed. Good furniture. Pretty new. Or maybe it’s in a conference room. It doesn’t matter. No office can be that nice if it includes this plague of the office worker. That is….

Overhead lighting. Shining right out of the panels in the ceiling. Right into your eyes. Brightly. With no remorse

You squint, your put your hand on your forehead, but whatever you do, you look silly, and the light keeps on shining. And glowing.

Right. Into. Your. Eyes.

And you keep squinting. And wishing you had a baseball cap.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/134/feed0http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/134?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=15-when-overhead-fluorescent-lights-shine-right-in-your-eyes#14: When a blogger who’s been away says “Sorry I’ve been away”http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/z71M4z501rA/129
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/129#commentsSat, 14 Jul 2012 00:26:37 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=129[...]]]>You get used to reading a blog. Then the blog stops. Hey, that’s not fun, I liked that blog! What the heck?

But a few days go by. A week. Maybe a month. No posts. Bummer. But you get over it. I mean, it’s just a blog, right?

And then finally, the blogger comes back and says “Hey, sorry I’ve been gone so long.”

As if we’ve all been hanging on his every word, and crying ourselves to sleep every night because he hasn’t been posting.

Man, that bugs me.

]]>http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/129/feed3http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/129?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=14-when-a-blogger-whos-been-away-says-sorry-ive-been-away#13: When they rearrange the keys on the keyboardhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/1000irritatingthings/VzCA/~3/vePugWEWbao/123
http://www.1000irritatingthings.com/archives/123#commentsMon, 30 Apr 2012 22:18:09 +0000Nick Hodgeshttp://www.1000irritatingthings.com/?p=123[...]]]>There are some things in the computer world that are sacred. Mice all work the same. DVD players all function alike. Google search will find anything for you.

Messing with these sacred promises is an act of true evil.

Like re-arranging the Home/Insert/Delete/End key layout on a keyboard.

You’ve had this happen — you are in a conference room. It has a computer hooked up to the projector. The computer is run by a Bluetooth mouse and keyboard. You get your PowerPoint slides up, but you need to make a change or two before you start. You place the cursor where it needs to be and then…..

Argh — you can’t find the Delete key. You can’t find the Home key. You have to look carefully, read the labels, and actually hunt up the keys because some fool at the keyboard company thought that it was just fine to change the sacred, proper, and widely accepted layout of these keys.