This is a special Day for you. To celebrate it with joy and loveYou have been married 12 years You are made for each other, it does showYour marriage certainly is made in heaven.

You have been blessed with each other's companyThrough thick and thin you have made it togetherThrough sorrows and happiness As what you have promised on the very first dayAs friends and lovers forever trueSo my friends,Enjoy the happiness, God has given youThe blessings He has showered to you May you have many, many more annivessary togetherTo love and to reflect till the end of your days.Hugs and kisses from meAuntyN

May 26, 2005

I am sure you all find the title either revolting or intriguing. Or are you expecting me to tell you that I am a jealous person or my hubby is a jealous person? Sorry to disappoint you, but I am going to write as in general. To some extend please take this with a tongue in the cheek. But if "kena batang hidung" be a sport and laugh at yourself. Because there is a saying, "We have not grown up until we can laugh at ourselves"

Sometimes, I thought to myself "Aku ni tak pernah jeles ke?". So far I am fine, I have never been struck with the green eyed monster to the limit of wanting to kill someone or disfigure them or damage their material things like scratching their new car. But have I really never been jealous of my hubby, no that's really not true either. Have I not seen him jealous of someone I know, that's not true either. The only thing is that our jealousy is stemmed from the feeling of love for each other and the trust we have for each other prevent us from the "cemburu buta" type.

There are many types of jealousies, isn't it. Most jealousies have been associated with marital relationship. I had a case of a secretary of a General Manager where I was working, she went to "serang" the hubby's girlfriend. She even slapped her in the face when she found out that the hubby was going out with this girl. She said she was provoked. I spoke to her and told her it was not a wise thing to do, but since it was done, she could not retracted her action. Of course she regretted it later but "nasi dah jadi bubur kan?" The girl's brothers threatened to beat up her husband in revenge. At least it stopped her husband from marrying the girl !!!. Please don't think that I am recommending this method to anyone.

In the case of my sister, the husband was jealous of her higher income. She is an assistant manager while he is just an officer. He was not promoted because he is the "panas baran" type of person. He was "famous" for his temper so at one time no branch wanted to accept him. Now at any "given" moment he would blame my sister for all the family problems, be it his third son's disciplinary problem or his eldest son's failure to complete his first year at the university. He blames my sister for giving the children extra money or buy the son a motor bike. Can't find the rational in his actions because they are your children too if you cannot meet eye to eye with them, it may be because you have not earned their respect for you as a father.

I am sure you are now asking, is she, AuntyN, is for real that she didn't feel any jealousy. I have moments when I do feel jealous. My blood colour is red too not pure white like Mahsuri. I remember once upon a time when I did feel a bit jealous with all the attention my hubby was showing to his mother. This was very long time ago when I was a young bride. After a while I know that I should not feel that way because the son's responsibility is mother first and wife second.

Then come his passion for plants. I was really feel hurt when he always tell me to take care of all the plants whenever he goes outstation. His last word will not be, "Yang, please take care of yourself, I love you" I think I will be "pengsan" if I hear those words from him whenever he goes outstation. His last word would be, "Please MAKE sure you water the plant twice a day. I'll check on them when I get back" Oh YES!!, the first he will do before he enters the house is to check if any one of the plants have wilted leaves. I used to play truant once or twice, meaning, if he goes on Sunday, and due back on the following Friday. I will make sure that I water the plants on Thursday 2 x a day. Other days, just once. Oh, what do you expect, interrogation time as soon as he discover his durian seedling was dead. Me, so innocently say, I did water the plants (true!), I already saw the plant wilted lah on the first day you went, a little white lie to save my skin. Hehehe.

In the end I felt silly feeling jealous over something like that, it wasn't the plants fault anyway, they could not get watered by themselves if I don't do that. Nowadays even with the maid, I do water them too and he does that too on top of what we have done. So, it justified for me to feel a little jealous over the plants, right?

For him, whenever I asked him if he feels jealous, he will deny it. But I think he does a little. When we were at USM, I remember, as I was walking down the Minden Hill to get to the main road to wait for a bus, a car pulled over with 2 lecturers in it. They gave me lift home. I didn't know them but they were kind enough to give me a lift to where I was staying. Although I professed innocent that I did not thumb a lift but he didn't speak to me for days. I told him next time he had to fetch me if he didn't want a repeat performance. But still, "No I am not jealous". Or when I asked him to go to dinner together with me with Malcolm my friend in the UK, he refused but he put up an acid face for the rest of the evening. I usually can detect the jealousy but, Man!!!, why do they ever want to deny such emotion. Is it a degrading feeling for one to feel a little jealous. I don't think so, as long as it is not the damaging type. Or what we Malay terms as "Cemburu Buta".

There are times when we are jealous of other people's good fortune. Usually, we womenfolk are said to be jealous of our neighbours who bought a new settee or a big plasma TV then we would urge our husbands to buy the same just in order to compete, regardless whether we need them or we can afford them in the first place. Of course lah, if the neighbour is the type who likes to "tayang" definitely you may be also be strucked by the green-eyed devil. Do we still have this? Now in our society? I hope not since we are now so busy trying to earn a better living we may no longer have the time to compete with our neighbour's plama 42 inch TV or the new settee. Maybe it could still happen. Someone say I am too naive, maybe I am....

For the menfolk, I am sure there are some guys out there who would be buying the latest handphone or a PDA, or what ever else.....with all the latest features. If your friend has one, "kecur air liur" when you see him "tayang" to you that. You can't wait until payday to get something better, can you?

Why do well fall prey to this emotion? I believe we are being borned with that in order for us to use for positive re-enforcement like, we should feel jealous to those who are better than us in their worldly goods so that we strive harder to get equal or better. Or to those who are better than us in their amalan we should strive to be better to gain Allah's blessing.

Last but not least.......

The most recent jealousy attack that I suffered was not so many days ago. This was when the 2 bloggers went dating in the DC. Oh no, you guys don't ever get any wrong idea. I was jealous because this personwas able to meet with this person.I was partially responsible for that meeting but I was jealous not in the evil way, it was just envy, the fact that, I wanted to be there with them at that time. But, if I was there it would be "kacau daun", three is a crowd right? I am happy that it happened and the "pujuk" and convincing did work afterall. The rest is history now, it was a very significant meeting for both. Despite being envious, I am happy. I know one day, Insyaallah, I will meet up with her. The other person you can never tell. I will leave that to fate. Insyaallah.

So, come let me know whether as a person you are a jealous person? When was the last time you ever feel that emotion?

May 22, 2005

Actually, I was not going to write anything for this entry. I was really bored yesterday when I posted the picture. My intention was to post a new entry, to "run" away from my entry for MakAndeh's decision to close her blog. The idea is to get at least whoever is reading this blog to move on. As I have to move on, from the sadness and the "lost" feeling, I was having as the repercussion MakAndeh's decision. I do respect her decision but knowing that I would not be able to enjoy her blog anymore, was a little depressing to me.

So now at 2.25 am in the morning I am writing something, first because Atenah said I'd better (Yes maam, saya yang menurut perintah!!) and Kak Teh said is this for preventing the spam and anoynamous comments.

Everyone knows about the Great Wall of China. It was one of the wonders of the world and the only man-made structure that could be seen on the moon. (Again they say lah, sebab, aku belum sampai ke bulan pun. Nak pi Beijing nak tengok Great Wall ni pun dah sakit jugak ni). When you read about it, see it in pictures or TV, you may just took it like any other structure. You can't really appreciate those stony structures in two dimension like if you see it with your own eyes. To actually see it in front of you, touching the big blocks of stones in reality, the feeling of awe and wonder crept into you. You can feel the greatness of those people, their motivation amd the strength of their leader who had been able to unite and drive his people to create such a monstrous structure. It prevented the enemy from entering China, it represents strength and unity.

The wall was really magnificent, It was built on the tip of the mountains snaking along what once, the border of a Chinese Kingdom with her enermy, 6000 Km (I think!!!, please get that fact right from the Discovery Channels or the History Book or ask your teacher, hahahaha) across the country.

The same feeling I had when I saw part of the Collesium in Rome many years back on one of my business trip to Italy. Unlike the Collessium, Great Wall is much more preserved. They are areas where the wall was collapsing but the main entrance to the wall was still very much in tact.

To those who has seen it I hope this bring back memories, but to those who hasn't seen it (with your own eyes). Maybe you can dream of going to see it someday.

So, in spirit I am taking the strength and greatness of the Great Wall of China to move on in the blogging world.

P/s There you go Atenah and Kak Teh I have written something OK, and at 2.00 something in the morning some more you!!! I am not going to tell you why I write this at such a wee hour, I am going to let you wonder about it.I can almost see Atenah's horn coming out of her hijab, hehehe Tenah, jangan marah OK?

May 20, 2005

I do not plan to post an entry until I completed my task. I would say I am having withdrawal syndrom from being a blog junky. I have been alternating between blogging and writing my presentation. At this moment I am almost done but, this not the only one I have to do. It is slow I would say but I'll get it finished before tomorrow I am sure.

I have been checking into my favorite blogs, and like others I am a fan of MakAndehand the Brood. It was there this morning with the same entry a few days ago, titled Hadiah Hari Jadi Kakak. It was unusual for MakAndeh not to update her blog. I know she was furious about the circulation of one of her entry through e-mails, but I was not prepared for the worst.

A few weeks ago I did also receive a shock like this. A fellow blogger just closed his blog after dedicating his last word or goodbyes to all his cyber friends. And now, it happened again. MakAndeh has closed her blog!!!!

I know both MakAndeh and Omar from Joe's blog. It was before I became a blogger. I was a blog reader. Somehow they have drifted to become friends, close friends and to some extend I have beginning to treat them like my own brother and sister. I share their sorrow and joys either through YMs or e-mails or phone conversations. In case of MakAndeh, I have met her a couple of times and we do get on well together. I do know I am not loosing their friendship, especially MakAndeh, but I will dearly miss their views on life, especially MakAndeh.

I just can't go on right now. I am too emotional to write. I am sorry, but I do feel the pain of what had happened to MakAndeh. Her blog was sensational and it will be such a lost to all of us.

I hope whoever did that thing to her will now be satisfied with his/her action. You have just killed a good blogger. I know it happened before, good blogs have just diminished, but for this I feel so badly.

May 18, 2005

I am very bad, I have got lecture notes to prepare but what I kept on seeing is my blog (and others as well). What is in my mind is always, "what would be my next entry". Oh YES !!, I do admit I am a "Penagih Blog Tegar". Where is the blogger anoynamous?.!!!!!! I do need to enrol in. A friend even wrote me an e-mail saying that she is going to ask my hubby to dismantle the PC and hide away the cables. Little does she know that it will only solve one half of the problem. I have a laptop in the office, with internet connection!!!!!. Anyway, there is something for you all for today, so that I will not be thinking of what to write next.

SOME FRIENDSHIP ARE FOR ALWAYSNothing else can compare to happiness we findIn the comfort of a friendshipThat's the warm and lasting kindA friendship based on caring thoughtsGentle trusting waysMoments shared, both good and badWords of Love and praiseAnd nothing else can quite compare to knowing, as friends doWe'll share an understanding that will last a lifetime throughby AnoynamousThat's how I feel about all of you who have come to read my words, so far. Whether you have been a silent reader or regularly commenting, my humble thanks to you for being my inspiration to write this blog. Hey don't get mushy please, I am NOT about to close the blog OK. I have just got to finish up some work that's all.

I read an article in the Star last night, titled Guidelines For the Golden Years , by Linda Lim.The article make me reflect and reminisce my livelihood so far. I am in my late forties, will soon be reaching the golden year as people term it. But, have I got a good life so far, have I enjoyed my childhood, have I fulfilled my worldly desire, am I ready to grow older, venturing into the unknown future? Is it going to lonely, fulfilled or what? Lastly, am I ready to meet my Creator, Allah subhanahutaala?.

It was said that the lifespan of a Malaysian man is 72 and that of a woman is 75. If this is right I may have another 22 years to go. How am I going to face that 22 years will need some planning. Need to be able to financially be stable to support the days when I would no longer be earning a living. The children will most likely have their own family, since I have all daughters they may be staying staying away from me. So where should I stay, I do need to plan. I don't want to end up in an old folks home, Nauzubillah. At the same time I don't want to impose. I would like to be independent, to enjoy my children and grandchildren, not as to take care of them full time but only in time of need. I want to be able to enjoy my privacy and my earning after so many years of toiling for the family.

I hope I won't be senile. So far, my mak and arwah ayah are not senile at that age. Ayah was 75 when he died, and mak is now 73 years old. She still has good memory. Taking the heriditary factor, I could say I will not be senile. Anyhow, I still need NOT to let my brain go idle, as "An idle mind is the devil's workshop", to quote someone which I really do not know. So please take note that blogging is good for the brain function. There are so much to learn, the internet, the books, the kitabs and the Quran. And of course from other people's experiences.

I remember my childhood, I was not a typical girly type. I look soft but, I am not one to play house. I remember I used to follow my older brothers when they went to play guli, or mercun during Ramadhan. I had my fingers burnt when the mercun exploded in my hand. I did not throw it out fast enough, so it exploded right in my fingers. I had burnt my sole when I step on my bunga api. When that happened I was too afraid to cry lest I got scolded by my father. I followed them hiking up the Penang Hill, during one of the school holidays. My toenails were both hurt and eventually torn out because the shoes were too tight. I dare not cry because I didn't want to be a sissy and get the scorn out of my brothers.

I was was away from my house most of my time during school time because I studied in the boarding school. That experience thought me to be independent, not able to rely on families because they were so far away. I need to fend for myself, in whatever situation. Being, away most of the time, I did not get to learn how to cook. I remember my older sister who is the womanly type would go and stay with my father's sister so that she can learn how to make kuih kapit and other kuih Melayu during Ramadhan. Did I join her? No, I would be going to my mother's relatives (uncle and aunty) in Penang to have fun every school holidays. I have boys cousins who I hang out with to the movies and makan out. It was during waiting for MCE that I thought to myself that I need to learn how to clean fish and do some cooking. I helped my mak in the kitchen then and learnt some skill, but mak would not let me cook much, mostly just helping. I actually learn how to cook when I got married through my MIL. Through trial and error after we stayed seperately from MIL, I am able to improve. Still not really by hubby's standard though.

Have I enjoyed my adult life? I think so. I have a good marriage, so far I have got good children, I have relatively a good career, and I have been to some places overseas. I can't complaint, my life has been really blessed so far. I do have problems and complaints, mind you but I have been all my life a very positive person so, my outlook in life has always been positive. I answer poeple's question of "Why?" with "why not?" To me if you cannot do something one way there could be another way to do it. All you need to do is to find that way. If there is a will there is a way as the saying goes.

Am I afraid to go grow old? I am old I guessed, but not so old yet, maybe. Hehehehe, how one define old? At what age are we old? 45, 50, 60 or what? People say age is just a number but, is it really so? I must admit to some part I am afraid because I know I will loose my independence, will loose the strength of my body parts like hands and legs. May even get arthritis later in the years. Most of all I am afraid of loosing my mind as in being senile. Perhaps that's where we have to plan now, cherish our health, if it is good preserve it, if not try to improve it.

Am I ready to meet my Creator? I will be lying if I say I am. I don't want to be complacent, I still have things that I want to do, places that I want to see, people who I want to meet. I am greedy, and I am not ashamed to admit that because it is in a good way. I am greedy for pahala from my Creator, but I have been also "leka". I am greedy for wealth because I want to be able to pay my zakat and live a comfortable life. I definitely do not want to be a poor because then I cannot enjoy Allah's rezeki, cannot perform my duties as a Muslims well. I am not a good Muslim, just an average one, lots of things I haven't done and lots of dosa to repent. So, yes, at this moment I am still afraid to die.

Lastly, I want to quote Linda Lim's words which I have found to be inspiring, and I hope she will not mind. Quote :

Forgive those who have done wrong to you. It is said that the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Too err is human, to forgive is devine. Do not bear grudges and be unhappy. Let bygones be bygones. In so doing you will have peace of mind, be less stressed and not let unhappiness get you down. Enjoy what you are and what you have now. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children and grandchildren. Make time for relatives and good friends who care for you, for what you are and not what you have. Relish family reunions, get together with old and faithful friends. These are the people who care for you and your well being, who take you for what you are. Surround yourselves with love, be it with family, friends or hobbies. Be happy. Everyday is a new day. Take one day at a time and enjoy your days. Be alive while you are still alive. Unquote.

What PS did was to ask him how he plan to celebrate the Mother's day. He answered that it was for his children to celebrate with their mother. PS then "scolded" him by saying, "How you can say like that. You are the father of your children so he should also do something special to make the mother of your children feel appreciated".

According to PS his face changed, but it get him to think. So PS actually followed up with Vel on whether he actually did or not celebrate the Mother's day. Vel related to PS that he bought his wife a cake and a stalk of flower. The wife was so happy and even her sisters were so proud of what the brother-in-law did to their sister. I joked with PS that I pity the husbands since now the ladies have got a good example to nag their husbands to be treated in similar manner. He also told PS that the following morning the wife had started to make him Vel his morning drink, again. It was quite sometime that Mrs Vel stopped making him a drink ever since he went to Australia for a vacation on his own.

It wasn't really his fault that he went to Australia alone. He has a brother living in Australia, who invited him and his mother to go to Australia for a holiday, all expenses paid. Vel had wanted to take his wife but according to him that she refused to go. Her excuses were no passport, scared of the flight and other tedious excuses. PS and I had different opinions on this. We actually told him that he should have insisted and do all the necessary, like get his wife to go and do the passport with him and buy her the ticket as well, no matter what she said. He should then presented it to her with an altamatum, if you do not want to come along, you go and return the ticket yourself. Or just insist that she went along. True to our belief, the wife memang merajuk with the vacasion. She stopped preparing his morning drink, speaking about the vacation and also the photos were taboo in the house. I stopped short of telling him "We told you so" because we think he had sufferred enough.

May 10, 2005

Last week-end was a busy one for me. You must have noticed, since I didn't even have time to update this blog.

Friday I was on leave, I had to take leave to go and collect the training materials in Penang. I am starting a part time lecturing job for a business school in Penang. Due to kindness of their hearts two of my friends (Non-muslim friends, an Indian and a Chinese guys) had recommended me for the lecturing job at this school. I went to a Mock Lecture beginning of March and about 1 week before this module started last Saturday 7 May, I was called by the coordinator to ask whether I can do the lecture. I said fine when I saw the topic and the module guideline. I asked whether I need to prepare the notes, since it was such a very short notice given to me, I was told that they have the materials ready. But the materials were in KL and had to be sent down from there. OK then, it would save me the trouble of preparing the note. I waited day in day out and keep calling and was only told on Thurday that the notes would only arrive on Friday, just 1 day before the class. What the heck, I thought? Only 1 day to prepare? OK never mind no need to panic, sure you can handle it, you have done this before and so on and so forth, my inner thoughts keep on comforting me.

Come Friday 6 May, aku kantoi. Early morning, I did my daily routine of preparing my hubby clothes for work, then straight away I went into the toilet to bathe. Suddenly, hubby called, "No drink for me today? " he asked. OMG, I totally have forgotten. Daily, I prepare 1 mug of Nescafe each for both of us, black for him white for me. We will drink it while getting ready for work, in our room. Had to apologise to him, I said I was so worked-up because of the lecture thing. Yeah, I know it is not the first time I do part time lecturing but this is the first time for this school and it is for a masters program, and I don't have enough time to prepare. He said not to worry lah, you'll do fine. Tibai je lah (This is not hubby's word but someone else's). Nasib baik tak merajuk pasai tak buat ayaq no. Sayang hubby.......The lecture went well although I was not well prepared. But the class was small so it was easy to control. They are very participative with positive attitudes.

If I were to rely on my "big fat salary" of course it is not enough. Should be enough what, 2 persons working ma? Where not enough lorr? Why not enough because I also have a big fat debt to go with the big fat salary. Sure you all will only see the big fat salary tu. Again, people will question, what you do, you so big fat debt? I renovated my house lorr last year, then I have 1 car and hubby has 1 car. Why you renovate house stay lah in that house no need to renovate what? I have too because my house was getting too congested and my children had to sleep in the hall. They are getting bigger and they are girls. And lucky I did renovate my house because otherwise I would not be able to accomodate my mom, when my father past away last year. So I have my house morgaged and when you start renovating there were things that you need to get to compliment the renovation, furniture pun dah koyak, need new one, dah 12 tahun kami beli tu. Curtain nak kena tambah, macam2 lagi lah. So la ni dok kena pekin lah untuk bayar semua ni. Then there are the utilities, the children expenses, food etc, etc. Common things lah kan. Mana pi hubby's gaji kan. We share expenses and he also help his brother in his agricultural project which is just shaping up. So buat masa ni kering lah lagi poket kami ni. Trying our best to recover and we both really syukur that although we are do not have much money to lavish around, we still have food to eat, clothes to wear and shelter over our heads. The childrens are not deprived of any basic needs so far.

To tell you all the truth, the part time lecturing money will not be able to make me richer anyway. They pay me less than RM100/hour and the module is only 25 hours. But, what was important to me is that I am using this as a stepping stone. Capten Azizi Ali said that you should do it even if they pay you RM50/hour. The connection is important, Insyaallah I could get more modules or I can lecture the same module at their other branches. The other reason why I do it because of not wanting to loose my skill. I want to be able to keep my brain active in the subject I am trained and experienced. I like meeting new people and share ideas with them. I am a very people person, so I do sometime need to get out of my family circle.

My class was scheduled at 2.00 pm too 6.30 pm on Saturday, I had to do English tuision for Sya and friends between 10.30 am to 12.00 noon. Nowadays, if we want to teach our child you have to teach their friends as well. On Sunday, class was between 9.00 am to 6.30 pm. So very busy lah last week-end. Hubby was sporting, and remembering it was Mother's day on Sunday he made the drinks for us that morning. Sayang hubby lagi.......

So to

ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE, I AM WISHING YOU A HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY.

ALL THE FATHERS, THE BEST THING YOU COULD DO IS TO LOVE YOUR CHILDRENS' MOTHER to quote MakAndeh.

There is this male colleague in my office. By rank we are of the same rank, by years of service he is more senior than me. He is not our of our skin and culture but a local absolutely. (Dah tak tau nak berlapik macam mana lagi dah ni). He is married with kids, and there is this lady who happened to be his subordinate who we always see in his office, during office hours. I have got an open door policy. If you walk pass my door you can see me directly and my blinds are always opened. There is almost no occasion when I am in my office that I will close the door. Unlike my friend here, his office is totally closed, if mine is semi glassed his is totally covered. With doors closed we have no idea who is in there and what they would be doing. So a time what happened behind those closed door is left to our imaginations.

For those who wants to see him, oftentime make a call to him first to ensure his is in. I would say perhaps they do not want to embarrassed themselves to catch them off gaurd. I often just knock and go in, why do I care what they would be doing, they are in office and should not be doing something un ethical right? So far so good, the scenery seems to be quite innocent, just like any normal discussion between boss and subordinate. But knowing her line of work, there should not be any reason for her to be in the boss' office more than 5 mins at one time.

What irks me most is that she is also married with kids of her own. She is one of our kind and hijabed too. I have also heard that the boss practised double standard where she is concern. Her payslip is prepared by the boss himself, her medical claim was easily approved while others were questions. If you think this is a gossip, I can tell you it was from a very reliable source. For me who always fight for equality, find this very annoying. Usually, when there is a new policy or management decision, I won't tell my staff until there is an announcement made by the HR. But many time I was suprised when one of my staff questioned me about the news. Obviously news had spread to the groundroot. Who would be the strong suspect? Take a guess.

For me I blamed both of them. Kata pepatah Melayu, kalau bertepuk sebelah tangan tak kan berbunyi. Oh yes, she has every priviledge excuse to responds to the boss, while blaming the boss is the one who keep calling her to go to his room. On the other hand, the boss himself should be blamed for being "itchi". Taking advantage of the whole situation.

Nauzubillah. I really don't know what to say here. I am embarrassed because she is our kind and people has this idea that we are easy to get, despite of what we say. Second because she is a female and I have my values that I am proud of and at this point being tarnished by someone like her. Third, both are married, where is your loyalty to your spouse?

May 02, 2005

Oh yes, my baby is eleven years old today, 1 May 2005. Time does fly so fast, the little girl that I hold in my arms eleven years ago is turning into a young lady. I can still remember how she was born because she decided to come out to the world 1 foot first. Yes, 1 foot first. No, no, no, she is not disabled, she has all the limbs don't worry....

When I was pregnant with her, the company was working on getting the ISO 9000 certification. I was in charged of that project on top of my other position as a Chemist. I was still in the first company. So being so busy doing 2 work at the same time, I just keep on delaying my pre-natal check-up. Since that was my fourth pregnancy and they were all normal before, I was not really alarmed. Fisrt few month was normal, she was in normal position and all. Then, there was the fasting month so I procastinated further.

The last week of my trimester, I was sent to a training course in Penang. The training went until late at night and I had to travel back and forth from Penang Isaland to home for the whole week. Yeah, me full term pregnant and all. The training involved a live quality system audit at another company as well. On the first day the trainer asked when I was due and, I told them, the following week. The almost flipped over in their chairs. All they can say was, "Why so fast?" "What? Why so fast?, Hey ladies, I was carrying her for the fast 9 months here, it is already time". They were fast becoming my friends so that I could talk to them like that. Behind my back they made preparation at the client company where the audit was going to take place, so as not to panic if I decided to be in labour pain then. Which would be the fastest exit to take be to the hospital etc. I was not told on this until I met them again a few years after that. There was a joke going on as the audit was a 7 and a half man day audit. The half being the baby I was carrying. The training ended on 29th April.

On Saturday, 30th April 1994, I was working half day. I planned not to take the maternity leave from the following Monday onward. The company was renovating the office so I had to pack my things just in case they decided to move when I was on leave. Probably that could have caused the early arrival of my baby. I had not been to the pre-natal check-up for I think 4 months at that time, so I wanted to go and have the check-up on Sunday 1st May. But when I was getting ready to go to the clinic, I had my labour pain. So I told my hubby, I think it was time. When we were at the maternity clinic, when the midwife did the check-up, she told me that the baby was breach. The legs were down as opposed to the normal position of the head down. It was too late to move the foetus because I was already in labour. So, let just say, pray for things to be OK.

For the first time as well, my water bag broke, the last 3 deliveries, it was the doctor who broke my water bag. Then when the pain was so intent, when pushed out, she decided to show her best foot forward. I really don't remember which leg came out first, but I guessed it must have been the right leg firat becasue she is right handed. The leg cam out until her knee so I could feel her dangling the foot against my skin. It felt ticklish. Oh no, she decided that, let's wait for a while before I come out properly. So there we were in the labour room with one foot dangling out and the rest of her body still inside my womb. You find this funny, now that I recalled it, it is funny. You guys, may be asking why the doctor did not pull her out. Couldn't do that because, if they did that, there was a risk of her foot being wrenched off her whole body or she may have 1 leg longer than the other. So we waited until she was ready to let me push her out. Finally she came out. It was quite a while actually. The doctor said the the other foot was crouching against her body so if we had pulled the leg out, the risk would have been as mentioned. And it all happened as a normal birth, I did not need to be "cut" or stitched when she came out. A miracle isn't it. I hope none of you find this story gruelling or crude.

Being the baby of the house she is naturally very "manja or pampered". Bibik adores her and pampered her. This is so because bibik took care of her from day 1 to now. She bullies her other sisters especially Kak Long, but none of children ever throw tantrums with me. No one will ever get away with that. She is very active and her Saturday schedule keeps me busy the whole day. She loves cats, that's why we never throw away stray cats and when one of the cats died recently she cried. Sounds like a softy for a green belt Tae-kwan-do girl rigth? Apparently she is. This morning after she did her subuh prayer she took her bath and then came into my room to curl up between me and my hubby. That's my baby alright.

Nurbatrisyia, mama wishes you Happy Birthday today. Go into the world with all our love and be happy as you always are.

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About Me

I was born in a kampung (village), raised in a kampung, educated partially in the kampung, earned a living in the area that can still be called a kampung and living my life in a kampung. Now spending my early retirement in the kampung.