06 February 2016

I know it's been awhile since I updated my blog. Not that I have nothing to share, I've been procrastinating on everything. But really, I'm just tired. Being bullied, physically and emotionally. By everyone.

The tiredness been clutching on my feet and I have to drag them all the way until I've become too tired to move. I stand still and I'm still standing.

I don't know how long I can stand this.

That's depressing don't you think? And it is something no one should share with someone else. Let it build inside you, the guilt and the anger and let's just see how far I can go with it.

For the time being, let's just hope everything will be fine. Gonna go and grab something to eat. Laksa Sarawak maybe?

22 September 2015

Sometimes I can feel the urge to drag my feet to the kitchen but hey guess what? My fingers are on the remote and my eyes on the tv and they win. My feet lose and I'm stuck for hours and hours in front of the tv and it felt good.

No shame there.

I like washing clothes better than cooking. I don't enjoy cooking particularly in a cramp kitchen. Syukur I have a kitchen, its just me being me. My kitchen is really cramp and I hate it. No point complaining about it to the big boss, he doesn't gives a shit. And he'll tell me there's homeless people and the Tuesday sermon starts and I thought Friday prayer sermons are still days away.

What a life eh.

Haze is gone. NOT that its entirely clearing up but its almost gone. Gone to my head and heart. Its just my body doing the work and I'm like on auto-pilot doing things routine.

Life.

Better go and harass some people. Lets make some people angry. Not fair if I am the only person in this world upset. Lets do it together.

I know … it's been
quite some time since I last update this blog. Not that I don't want
to, I'm just pretty tired all the time.

Let me just point
what have happened this past few months.

Somewhere in May

Pooding pass away
peacefully. It was really heart wrenching to see him go. All those
memories keep flashing back and forth in my head. But thank Allah, he
is in a better place now. I hope he's happy in Heaven.

Somewhere in June.

My birthday month.
My lovely husband spoils me on this month with surprises and lots
more. Love him to pieces.

Puasa month and
everything seems to be moving so slow. It is as if everyone moves in
a slow motion pace and some just don't move at all. Work is slow,
walking is slow but come buka puasa waahhh.... everything comes
alive. Baru lah semangat nak solat teraweh. This is the month where I
count the days because I know, come end of the month, yaahhoooo...
Balik Kampung!!!

In July, Raya time
and enjoying it so much. Thank you husband and his family for a nice
first and second day hari raya. Got to know his family more because
this time we went back to kampung in Seremban. Then on the third
raya.... my kampung!!!!

So, that was that.
Met some great people along the way. Every moment was something to
remember.

And some moments,
was something to think about. And this is one of them.

Met few friends who
aren't married yet and they are about my age 35 years young. They
don't have any boyfriends and seems to me that they are happy with
their lives. Truly happy. To them, they don't need a man to keep them
happy, they are content with what they have now. People always say
they need a man to keep them safe and sound on the ground but they
say they can take care of themselves better than any man. I couldn't
agree more. They are doing just fine so people, leave them alone.
People stereotype them as spinsters but they don't give a sheet about
it.

Raya is one time
when people snoop around more than any other days. Bore.