It’s hard to say what I love most about wine. The taste? The feeling it gives me? The vineyards it comes from? The memories it helps to make? I could go on and on.

What is easy for me, by contrast, is naming what I hate most about wine.

My biggest issue with wine is the culture of intimidation that surrounds it. It makes me crazy that a beverage that is so accessible, so broadly appealing and so conducive to conviviality remains, for many, unapproachable. Why? Mostly because it can be hard to buy it or order it in a restaurant.

Do wine lists leave you feeling bewildered and moderately illiterate? As a guy who has spent 20 years in the restaurant business, let me say, first and foremost, that it is the restaurant’s job to make you feel comfortable and help you find something you like. But good communication between the customer and the house can also demystify the process. Here’s where you come in:

Know what you like.

Seems simple, right? It’s not. A lot of people order wine that they think they like, that they think they are supposed to like or that someone else likes. The best way to identify what you like is to try a lot of different wines. Take advantage of tastings at wine shops, festivals, even the grocery store. If you’re trying to decide which wine-by-the-glass to order in a bar or restaurant, ask to taste more than one. I have seen people’s eyes widen with joy the first time they taste a wine that truly suits their palate. You don’t have to buy a whole bottle to find out that you don’t like a particular grape.

Start basic.

Red or white? Lighter or heavier? A little sweet or a little dry? Creamy and buttery or crisp and minerally? Fuller mouth feel because of malolactic fermentation? Okay, just kidding on that last one, but you can see how people can get carried away. You shouldn’t have to know what that means to order wine off a wine list. If you have a general sense of what suits you and you can articulate those characteristics in lay terms, then it doesn’t matter if all the wines on the list are Italian and you’ve never heard of them. Describe what you are in the mood for and a good staff member should be able to match that up with what the place has in stock.

State your price point.

Don’t be shy. Money is weird, and oftentimes guests don’t want to say (and have their entire table hear) that they want to keep it under $30 a bottle. Of course that is your prerogative as a customer, but if you aren’t specific then you leave the staff guessing. A good bartender, sommelier or server will suggest wines at different price points to tease out a sense of your budget, but if you’re up front about it, the conversation will go a lot faster. The good news? Restaurants now offer incredible wines across many different price points, particularly as they tap into emerging wine regions in lesser-known places like Croatia and Bulgaria. You don’t have to spend $100 to find a bottle that will blow you away.

There’s no need to ruin a good meal by suffering through a wine that isn’t working for you. A good restaurant will have the policy that you get the wine you want, period—even if your dislike isn’t immediately apparent upon your first sip. Keep in mind that a wine will change quite a bit as it breathes, and it may taste different once you pair it with food, so there is no shame in switching bottles a few minutes in. (Although if the bottle is half gone, don’t be that guest.) Don’t fret that the wine will go to waste if you send it back. It won’t. Provided the bottle isn’t corked (a fancy word for wine that’s “turned” or sour), the restaurant management may offer it by the glass, use it for staff education or drink it themselves. This is basic customer service and a cost of doing business. But if you don’t speak up, they may never know.

Nick Freshman is a co-owner of Spider Kelly’s in Clarendon and principal of Mothersauce Partners, an Arlington-based investment and consulting venture that helps D.C.-area chefs and restaurateurs bring new food and drink concepts to fruition. www.mothersaucepartners.com

For many years, I was a Big Brother. Of course, I have been a big brother for all but those first two blissful years of my life (sorry, Ben), but the capitalized version is different. Big Brothers Big Sisters is a one-to-one mentoring organization that provides youth with adult role models—someone to provide guidance and positive examples. It is a great organization, and the reason I did it was that I wanted to be a part of change I could see right in front of me, right here where I live. There is no anonymity in mentoring, and the change you see is immediate and personal.

I have been looking for some time for an organization that can have the same effect, but on the broader community I live in and the industry I work in. I found it in La Cocina VA. After hearing a piece on NPR about the organization, I called the same day. I joined the Board of Directors weeks later.

La Cocina VA is primarily a culinary training center that provides people—primarily recent immigrants—with the skills and certification they need to work in the hospitality industry. “Job creators” are useless if there is no one with training to fill the jobs. La Cocina provides our industry with qualified and eager workers—something that we desperately need.

More than that, however, La Cocina VA offers hope to our most vulnerable community in the DC area. Language training, conflict resolution, counseling and food assistance are all a part of the program. La Cocina VA wants our members to become impactful members of the community beyond their job, and they understand that the ripple effect of that can be far and wide.

I am thrilled to have been asked to serve, and I hope that I can offer help in taking the organization to the next level. We are currently planning an ambitious new center in South Arlington. There will be a café and catering company to serve the Arlington residential and business community as well as an expanded training center and a culinary incubator to help members learn about the possibilities of entrepreneurship—yeah, I am all over that last part…

From the tiny basement of a church two blocks from where I grew up in Arlington, in the next couple years La Cocina VA will grow into a powerful force for change right here where we live. Skeptical? Look no further than the Founder and CEO, Paty Funegra. She quit her job to start La Cocina VA, and in its short existence, they’ve been visited by Senators and Congressmen, and she has been invited to the White House to talk about the mission.

I hope you’ll keep an eye on our progress and come visit us when we open the center—coffee is on me. Wait, foget that. Pay up—it’s for a good cause.