Posted by Akhenaten (1280
BCE) - Oh my Ra!!! OMR!! This is horrible! I went
down to the Great Nile for a drink and the exalted river was blood
red! And no matter how much I dig, all the water is red and
undrinkable!

Posted by Aminadav (1280
BCE) - You know, Akhenaten, I’ve got plenty of fresh water if
you’d like to buy some.

Posted by Amenhotep (1280
BCE) - I don’t believe it! Just when the river
turned drinkable again, these frogs are all over! Frogs in my
bed and frogs on my head! Frogs on my nose and frogs on my
toes!

Posted by
Tiy (1280 BCE) - You
think that’s bad? We went to bake some bread and
those #@$! frogs jumped into the oven!

Posted by Naphurureya (1280
BCE) - I was dusting my house and the stupid dust went and bit
me! This is truly the finger of God.

Posted by Menkheperure (1280
BCE) - I was walking home from a hard day’s work
slave-driving and a LION came up and bit off my leg! I get
home and find that a bear mauled my wife and a gorilla ate my kid!

Posted by Thutmosis (1280
BCE) - OMR! After the animals have stopped killing us then all our
cattle that was left dies. What’s up with that? Why
can’t Paroh just get rid of those stupid slaves already?

Posted by Pithom (1280
BCE) - This is getting very annoying. After all our cattle
died then we start getting these horrible boils all over, and the
Chartum covered by my HMO can’t cure the things!

Posted by Kheperkheprure (1280
BCE) - What weather we’ve been having! Hail with fire in it,
this shouldn’t be happening. It’s ruined
my crops and I can’t imagine how much I’m gone need
to spend for that new roof, and FEMA is certainly no help.
Not only that, but the weather on Goshen is beautiful.
We’ve certainly blown it this time.

Posted by Ay (1280
BCE) - I can’t figure out why Paroh is so stubborn! Why
won’t he just let those Hebrews go worship in the
desert. Whatever I had left after the hail smashed and burned
everything just got eaten by hordes of locusts.

Posted by Shaul Katzenberg (1280
BCE) - I don’t know what Horemheb’s problem is,
since I can see just fine. And it’s not his house,
because I just checked it out for gold and riches, and I could see
there too.

Posted by Ramses (Nissan/14/1280
BCE) - No! I can’t take this creeping death!
Don’t touch my son! Get out of here, you Hebrews!