Potty Training Timing

Question:

"What do you think is a good age to start potty training? Or will a baby show you when she's ready?"

There's no better time for toilet learning than when your toddler is ready — before that time, it'll be pointless (or at least, very, very messy and frustrating).For most toddlers, there's a window of opportunity sometime after the second birthday, when there's readiness and willingness. Sometimes, waiting too long is as bad as starting too soon — that's because that window slams shut (and willingness is left out in the cold). Of course, all toddlers eventually learn to use the potty — but when there's pressure on, sometimes because preschool is calling, it can become much more of a struggle than it needs to be.

What are the signs to look for? A toddler is "ready" once she can pull her pants up and down by herself (that's kind of critical to success!), is aware of being wet or dirty, and understands and has the vocabulary to express certain key potty-related concepts (wet, dry, dirty, clean).

If your child is showing signs, then by all means start setting the stage for potty success. Begin by inviting her into the bathroom with you to demystify the process and help her understand that she's not the only one being asked to do this potty thing.A lot of exciting fanfare helps, too — have her help pick out a potty chair and even decorate it with stickers.Providing a doll that wets is a good idea, too, and so are picture books on potty training (check out my book called What to Expect When You Use the Potty).

Finally, make moves to ditch her diaper and switch to training pants — or, if your floors can take it, let her go bare bottomed. The point is, you want to be sure that your toddler is able to feel when she's wet and be appropriately uncomfortable (if she's too comfy in those extra-absorbent diapers, there goes her motivation).

Once you get the potty party started, charts are great — and it's fine to use incentives like stickers or toys (this is a one-time achievement — so it's not like she'll be expecting rewards every time she pees at age ten). Whatever you do, don't apply the pressure (which will backfire, so to speak), just provide the opportunity.After all, there are a lot of things you can force toddlers to do against their will — but using the potty isn't one of them.

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