I've been having problems with our family dog digging diapers out of the trash and devouring them in the backyard. So, in playing on Google, I came across this: http://www.k9station.com/articles/poopeaters.htm Scroll all the way to the bottom, the paragraph that begins "An anecdote...do not read if you have a weak stomach..." It's about a poop eating dog, which is bad enough, but then it gets worse.

Oh my...hahaha. I have a strong stomach, but that may have made me lose it outside just like the author.

I have three boys, currently ages 13, 11 and 10. "Gross" is just an everyday part of my life. I have tons of stories, but one of my favorites happened about 2 years ago.

We had a couple of back to back blizzards, and the boys had been trapped inside for a few days. It was during the winter holidays, so they didn't even have school to burn off some of the excess energy. They decided to play "FBI Agent" inside. My little one, who was about 8 at the time, jumped over the back of the couch and then squealed a little bit. I heard him yell "MOM, look! I can see my knee!" I was a bit confused until he clarified: he could see the actual bone. Somehow or another, a glass pane from a picture frame had found its way between two of the couch cushions and he sliced his knee open. There was blood everywhere. Blood doesn't bother me too much (if it did, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble with my crew), but seeing the skin over his knee splayed open like that, exposing most of the bone was a little bit more than I was prepared to see at that moment. The blizzard was still going strong, so it took nearly 45 minutes to drive what should have been 5 minutes to the ER to have the 14 stitches required to close his knee back up.

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Some people lift weights. I lift measures. It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

I've been having problems with our family dog digging diapers out of the trash and devouring them in the backyard. So, in playing on Google, I came across this: http://www.k9station.com/articles/poopeaters.htm Scroll all the way to the bottom, the paragraph that begins "An anecdote...do not read if you have a weak stomach..." It's about a poop eating dog, which is bad enough, but then it gets worse.

Oh my...hahaha. I have a strong stomach, but that may have made me lose it outside just like the author.

I've had to clean up messes like that on multiple occasions - when the dog cleared out the kitty litter box after it had been amply used. I generally just go ahead and throw up into the trash can though. Thankfully, my current cat litter choice seems to deter the dog from consuming the litter box contents...

I learned the hard way last week just how gross working with the public can be. I was waiting on customers for a couple of hours checking out their paperwork when a movement on the counter caught my eye. I bent down real close to see what was crawling there. Lo and behold, it was a pubic louse. Yes, that's right.....a crab. I took a pen and stabbed it to pieces, threw the pen away, squirted hand sanitizer all over the counter, scrubbed it down, used an Clorox wipe on it, then sprayed everything in sight with Lysol. I'm still thinking I feel crawlies on me.

Our maintenance worker was called to clean a mess in one of our ladies' restrooms today. Some lovely lady had left a pile of poop on the floor next to the toilet, with a small dribble on the seat. Someone suggested that it could have been an elderly person who didn't quite make it to the toilet. Our maintenance worker poohpoohed her and said if you can get that close, a half step further back would not have made that big of a difference.

My thought, also, later was, I'm not sure an elderly person would have been able to squat in such a manner as to not get any on them self.

Our maintenance worker was called to clean a mess in one of our ladies' restrooms today. Some lovely lady had left a pile of poop on the floor next to the toilet, with a small dribble on the seat. Someone suggested that it could have been an elderly person who didn't quite make it to the toilet. Our maintenance worker poohpoohed her and said if you can get that close, a half step further back would not have made that big of a difference.

My thought, also, later was, I'm not sure an elderly person would have been able to squat in such a manner as to not get any on them self.

Just a tiny little gross out...I was over at the stable Tuesday and had just fed a horse treat to our big Shire. These treats are compressed pellets of hay and berries & stuff. Turk was happily munching on the treat and had a nice BIIIIIIG long slobber hanging from his mouth when he turned his head and the slobber goober came right across my face. Yeeeccccchhhh.

(Horses have a thing for slobber. This same horse has dribbled it down my cleavage, blown his nose in my face, blown his nose on the back of my legs while I was wearing shorts, wiped his alfalfa drool covered mouth on my white shirt....The list is endless.)He's darned lucky I love him. He also passes gas in my face when I'm brushing out or braiding his tail. Sigh....

I have three boys, currently ages 13, 11 and 10. "Gross" is just an everyday part of my life. I have tons of stories, but one of my favorites happened about 2 years ago.

We had a couple of back to back blizzards, and the boys had been trapped inside for a few days. It was during the winter holidays, so they didn't even have school to burn off some of the excess energy. They decided to play "FBI Agent" inside. My little one, who was about 8 at the time, jumped over the back of the couch and then squealed a little bit. I heard him yell "MOM, look! I can see my knee!" I was a bit confused until he clarified: he could see the actual bone. Somehow or another, a glass pane from a picture frame had found its way between two of the couch cushions and he sliced his knee open. There was blood everywhere. Blood doesn't bother me too much (if it did, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble with my crew), but seeing the skin over his knee splayed open like that, exposing most of the bone was a little bit more than I was prepared to see at that moment. The blizzard was still going strong, so it took nearly 45 minutes to drive what should have been 5 minutes to the ER to have the 14 stitches required to close his knee back up.

Your story reminded me of a friend's daughter. I'll call her Duckie and her older sister Bunny. Mostly because they're nice and far from the girl's real names. Not that anyone who knows them would be fooled...

Duckie(aprox. 8 y.o.) and Bunny(aprox. 10) were home minding their younger sisters (twins, probably around 5) and brother (3? maybe 2?) while their parents were out and their great-grandfather was asleep. Somehow Bunny hurt her leg (years later its unclear what the haymaker happened.) pretty badly. As in bleeding HARD from the stains found later. Duckie took stock of the situation and decided NOT TO WAKE their great-grandfather and instead folded seveal large gauze squares into a pad and wrapped it tightly around her sister's leg with bandage tape, then they made lunch for the littler ones and settled them in the kitchen while they (attempted to) clean the blood up.

An hour later their great-grandfather woke up and noticed the innocent looking bandage and was told Bunny had a "little scrape" and accepted it. Until he found the missed stains and dirty towels.

The ER staff deemed it a very nice bandage job, but Duckie was still made to swear she would actually tell someone if it ever happened again.

This is the same little girl who a year later pierced her sister's ears. Bunny had her earrings taken out after a fall made her ear swell and the holes closed. She still had the surgical steel studs but her parents kept putting off having them re-pierced after the injury healed. So, after five months of reminding their parents, Duckie did it with a heated and alcohol rinsed sewing needle. This time there are no excuses. All three of the household's adults were awake and present, just apparently not noticing the girl's activities.

That girl is either going to do amazing things some day, or be a supervillan.

Turk was happily munching on the treat and had a nice BIIIIIIG long slobber hanging from his mouth when he turned his head and the slobber goober came right across my face. Yeeeccccchhhh.

(Horses have a thing for slobber. This same horse has dribbled it down my cleavage, blown his nose in my face, blown his nose on the back of my legs while I was wearing shorts, wiped his alfalfa drool covered mouth on my white shirt....The list is endless.)

Novalee is Turk's Sister in Slobber. She's over 17 years old and "leaks" a bit at both ends. Her lower lip hangs loose most of the time and she drools all over us. She loves to spray me by blowing her nose all over me. Misty has wiped her nose on the back of my shirt after sneezing, just like a little kid. We have no white shirts; Only shirts that used to be white and are now retired to "horse duty."

Turk was happily munching on the treat and had a nice BIIIIIIG long slobber hanging from his mouth when he turned his head and the slobber goober came right across my face. Yeeeccccchhhh.

(Horses have a thing for slobber. This same horse has dribbled it down my cleavage, blown his nose in my face, blown his nose on the back of my legs while I was wearing shorts, wiped his alfalfa drool covered mouth on my white shirt....The list is endless.)

Novalee is Turk's Sister in Slobber. She's over 17 years old and "leaks" a bit at both ends. Her lower lip hangs loose most of the time and she drools all over us. She loves to spray me by blowing her nose all over me. Misty has wiped her nose on the back of my shirt after sneezing, just like a little kid. We have no white shirts; Only shirts that used to be white and are now retired to "horse duty."

Turk was happily munching on the treat and had a nice BIIIIIIG long slobber hanging from his mouth when he turned his head and the slobber goober came right across my face. Yeeeccccchhhh.

(Horses have a thing for slobber. This same horse has dribbled it down my cleavage, blown his nose in my face, blown his nose on the back of my legs while I was wearing shorts, wiped his alfalfa drool covered mouth on my white shirt....The list is endless.)

Novalee is Turk's Sister in Slobber. She's over 17 years old and "leaks" a bit at both ends. Her lower lip hangs loose most of the time and she drools all over us. She loves to spray me by blowing her nose all over me. Misty has wiped her nose on the back of my shirt after sneezing, just like a little kid. We have no white shirts; Only shirts that used to be white and are now retired to "horse duty."

Yep, they are Berry Good treats. Turk will frisk my pockets for them. He usually doesn't have THAT much drool, I think it's time to check his teeth again. He's almost 16 and for a draft, that's a senior citizen.

Horses in general seem to think farts are funny. And Turk has the sense of humor of a teenage boy in an 1800 pound horse body.

I have trained Misty since she was 17 months old. She's 7 years old now. I had to hire professional help along the way when she became too difficult. She went through a "buck you" phase. When she was 4 years old, I hired a professional polo player (PPP) to "teach Misty her job" after she bucked off The Girl With The Velcro Butt (never, ever been bucked off before in her life). After PPP rode Misty a couple times, she decided she didn't like him. He would chase her around her pen. She would kick him when he got close. He showed me his technicolor ribs. Ouch!

I gave a container with Berry Good Treats, Nicker Makers, and Pasture Cookies to him. As a Professional Polo Player, he did not believe in using treats. I shrugged and said it was his choice. If he's ruining my horse by bribing/rewarding her, it's my horse and I bribe/reward her with treats.

The next time I saw him, he said, "She prefers Berry Good Treats." I laughed. I asked, "Any more difficulty catching her?" He said, "No. I shake the treat container and she comes galloping to me."

The gross parts of the story included the torn ligaments in her pelvis that The Girl With The Velcro Butt suffered when Misty threw her, the multicolored ribs of the PPP, and the hematoma the size of a half grapefruit above my left knee I acquired when we had a "mounting mishap." The hematoma leaked, streaking my leg from the knee to the ankle in purple, red, black and blue. I had to take 2 weeks off work to lay in bed with my knee elevated. Three years later, the hematoma is still there. Smaller, but still there. It's leaking fluid into my knee joint and causing all kinds of problems. For the first time in almost 20 years, my doctor and I do not agree. I want him (or a surgeon) to operate, drain the hematoma and fluid in the knee. Soft tissue injuries are such a pain. In those 3 years, I detached my left shoulder supraspinatus tendon from the bone, had rotator cuff surgery, and achieved 100% recovery.

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"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

While an unruly patron was being asked to leave a bar, Reid had the misfortune to choose that moment to get up from his table and walk past the "gentleman" who was being escorted out.Unruly Patron grabbed him, smashed his knee into Reid's forhead and then bounced Reid's head off of a table.

Reid didn't realize he'd been injured until the bartender said "Since when does Superman have fake blood?"Reid replied "I don't have any fake blood."Bartender "Then what's that on your chin?"Reid had a 1 1/2" long split in his scalp, right at the hairline (which had run down his face. Ironically, it being a Halloween event, no one took much notice of the blood until the bartender brought it up. )

The result of the evenings festivities was that Reid had a long conversation with the police, charges are pending against UP, and Reid got to visit the ER.

At the ER, they fast-tracked Reid when they found out he had a 6 hour drive home still and the weather was worsening.So they held off stitching him up, deciding that if he went to a clinic as soon as he got home, it would be fine.

So Reid drove home and went to the clinic this morning. He now has 3 stitches in his forehead.

He was telling us about this at lunch (while showing us pictures of the pre-stiched gap - isn't he a nice fellow? ) and one of the staff pointed out that he's got quite the goose-egg.

He poked the now-substantial lump. It's not a goose egg. It's not tender and it's not firm.It's squishy.

We told him to get it looked at. He argued.He finally agreed that at 4 pm, he'd show it to me and if it was still getting worse, he'd go back to the clinic.

At 4 pm, the swelling was nearly down to his eyebrows. He went to check on it and said "Um...yeah. I'm going to go back to the clinic now. There's yellow pus oozing out of the stitches..."

I expect that Reid will come in tomorrow with the stitches removed and replaced with something that can drain.

And to make things even more fun, our staff photos-for-the-new-web-page are being taken this week.I am threatening to provide him with a flowered scarf to cover the wound.

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"I think her scattergun was only loaded with commas and full-stops, although some of them cuddled together for warmth and produced little baby colons and semi-colons." ~ Margo

Turk was happily munching on the treat and had a nice BIIIIIIG long slobber hanging from his mouth when he turned his head and the slobber goober came right across my face. Yeeeccccchhhh.

(Horses have a thing for slobber. This same horse has dribbled it down my cleavage, blown his nose in my face, blown his nose on the back of my legs while I was wearing shorts, wiped his alfalfa drool covered mouth on my white shirt....The list is endless.)

Novalee is Turk's Sister in Slobber. She's over 17 years old and "leaks" a bit at both ends. Her lower lip hangs loose most of the time and she drools all over us. She loves to spray me by blowing her nose all over me. Misty has wiped her nose on the back of my shirt after sneezing, just like a little kid. We have no white shirts; Only shirts that used to be white and are now retired to "horse duty."