Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Feminism is not a dress code or a personality type.

Feminism has no dress code. No, I don’t want women to feel
like they should dress sexily simply to cater to men. Nor do I want women to
feel that they must adhere to certain standards of modesty simply to cater to
men.

The fact that our lives are still so often judged and
regulated according to wants or even “needs” of men is infuriating. But if we
as feminists try to make claims about what a “strong, independent woman” or
“true feminist” would wear, aren’t we also forcing arbitrary and restraining
rules upon women? Granted, I’m sure there are some extremes that I’d be willing
to concede as exceptions. However, in the end, it’s up to every woman to make
her own choices about her own wardrobe and to wear what she wants and believes
to be appropriate for the situation, whether or not men like it (which, by the
way, includes the option of men liking it). If she feels naked without a face
covering, that is her business. If she feels restricted wearing a bra, that is
her business.

This issue has been brought to my attention multiple times
over the years, often because of my own treatment from both men and women when
I wear shorts or a skirt they deem to be too short. Especially if I’m audacious
enough to combine it with a tank top (oh, how will society stand?). Constant
wardrobe monitoring of women isn’t shocking in a misogynistic society like
ours. It is extremely disappointing, however, when men and women who identify
as feminists engage in such behavior.

Of course there are situations where certain clothing isn’t
appropriate for men or women...and as long it’s not a double standard, I’m fine
with that. But if I’m dressing for another casual day of trying to live my
life, why do I need a dress code?

As blogger and artist Megan Gedris puts it, “What makes any
article of clothing oppressive is someone forcing you to wear
it. And it’s just as oppressive to force someone not to wear
something that they want to wear.”

But hey, let’s take it a step further. I’ve also noticed,
often from personal experience, that we tend to make assumptions about people’s
character based on their personality. Maybe we don’t even realize there is a
difference between personality and character. But there definitely is.

People at my university often assumed that my bubbliness and
cutesiness went hand in hand with ditsiness and childishness. And, to be
fair, since my freshman year started shortly after I turned 17, undergrad was largely an
experience of my teenhood. Yet I graduated at 20 with a GPA just .09 away from perfect and with multiple student life leadership positions, several volunteer
positions and projects, and a semester abroad at Oxford under my belt.

But this is only one example of how we all tend to judge
ourselves and others according to personality traits instead of character
traits. Here’s another: Acting like a tough guy doesn’t make you strong. Some
of the strongest people I know are my grandmothers-both of my natural
grandmothers as well as my dad’s stepmom-who have all experienced a lot through
the years. I admire those who suffer with quiet strength and persistence,
holding their own while continuing to be a reliable source of strength for
others when needed.

Do you see where I’m going with this? And again, not only is
this way of thinking common in our society in general (and probably in at least
most human societies), but it also seeps into modern feminist thinking and can
only be detrimental to our progress. Especially when you consider that many of
the stereotypes we use to interpret personality traits glorify those seen as
masculine and belittle, mock, or trivialize those seen as feminine.

She wears high heels, you wear sneakers? She’s cheer captain
and you’re on the bleachers? Great. You can BOTH be strong, intelligent, independent
individuals with meaningful lives.

We’ll never be perfect. But we’ve got to weed the yard
sometimes to keep up the momentum and relevance of the movement. And I’d like
to suggest that any attempted mold of an “ideal feminist” is a weed that simply
has to go.