The lavender I put probably won’t calm me. As much as I want to relax, I probably wouldn’t. Hindi tulad kahapon na masyado akong pagod, ngayon halos wala akong ginawa buong araw. And my mind is wandering too much. Overthinking. And that’s the last thing I want to do tonight.

Umahon ang kaba sa aking puso. He had all the reasons to be angry at me! Pinahamak ko ang pamilya niya! Hindi man sinasadya ngunit ako parin ang dahilan. I have been so reckless. I didn’t think about other people’s lives.

Kahit na sabihing nahati ang tauhan ng mga sindikato dahil nalaman nilang nasa Boracay ako, what good will it bring to Radleigh’s family if they protected me? Nothing. And here I am being such a pain in their ass!

He tilted his head. The light from the bed lamp lit his face. I can see his expression hardened. His sensual mouth drawn in a grim line. Like it’s only a matter of time now before he’d finally hurt me because of annoyance. Parang sinaksak ng punyal ang puso ko. How he’s so patient when I am nothing but annoying.

I pushed his left thigh just to loosen his grip of me a bit. Alam niya iyong ginawa ko. Sinikop niya agad ang dalawang palapulsuhan sa isang kamay lamang. He put it down on my thighs to stop me from pushing him.

“You’ve cheated on me days before our engagement years ago. Now, you secretly sent him a message while you’re with me.”

Paulit-ulit akong pumikit hanggang sa naramdaman ang kanyang daliri sa tuktok. I was trying to hold on to my rapidly vanishing self but because of what he did to me, I am too far gone to even get a hold of anything.

Lumipat ang kanyang kamay sa kabila. His arm squished my right boob while his hand was on the other. When I felt his calloused finger on my swollen peak, napaliyad ako.

“Oh, Rad…”

Damn. I certainly didn’t cheat on him before… It’s an accidental kiss. Thoughts about pleading in front of him covered my mind like a blanket.

My head fell back. I panted for air but he never gave me a chance to. He captured my mouth and kissed it in the most sensual way.

He licked the corners of it. He pushed his tongue in and out of it, mimicking a familiar move I’ve seen in porn.

Mas lalo akong lumiyad. My booty is pushed back against his abdomen. I’ve kissed boys before, but I have never really felt this fucking good in a kiss. I never thought kisses could be this erotic until him.

“Ah! Ah!” I moaned.

I was just too far gone. Lalo na ngayon. To feel his poking sex on my buttocks made me lose all my damn control. Oh! I forgot! I didn’t have control. He has it! Damn it!

I covered my mouth with my palms when I saw his masculinity. He glanced back at me habang siya’y nakatayo pa at ako’y nasa kama. He licked his lower lip with all confidence. Seeing him this way makes me shudder. He looked so raw, so mature, so illegal. Hindi ako inosente ngunit kahit paano hindi pa ako nakakaranas ng tulad ng pinaparanas niya sa akin. And I could tell why he’s always appealed to women beside his looks. His damn sex appeal is oozing that you know he’s hiding this under him.

Damn it!

I never thought I could be the reason behind his full blast arousal. I couldn’t believe that I could do that to his body. That I could affect him this way.

He climbed on top of me and resumed his hungry kisses.

He thrusted on me. The tip of his arousal found its way to my entrance but it never went in. He continued doing that until I was pleading under him.

Beads of sweat formed on my chest as he started kissing my peaks wetly. I watched him lick my peak alternately andI’m on the edge.

“Rad… Please… Please… I can’t take it any… more…”

He groaned and then his fingers went to my folds. The hypersensitivity gone now, and all I can feel is the build up of what’s about to come.

With each thrust, I felt him wholly. With each pull, I cried. He closed his eyes. Tumingala siya habang mas lalong bumilis ang kanyang kilos.

The pain was covered with so much desire as I look at him pleasured by me. He glided and coaxed inside of me that the pain didn’t matter. The terrifying waves of passion made my body convulse. The mind blowing release made me close my eyes and think about so many sweet, sweet things.