New Zealand farmer arrested for selling sheep as sex slaves to ISIS

A New Zealand sheep farmer has been arrested after authorities were warned by the CIA and MI6 that he was doing business with ISIS militants in Syria.

Allan Seymour, 52, was sending an “intriguing large number” of livestock to Syria, destined to locations in Syria which are not controlled by the local government but are presently under the rule of ISIS forces, which alarmed CIA and MI6 officials monitoring the region.

Although New Zealand Customs Services believed at first he was hiding weapons or explosives within the shipments, further investigations found no such evidence.

Instead, CIA and MI6 reported that the sheep “were not used for food” but instead “were used for satisfying ISIS soldiers sexual appetite” confirmed a spokesman for the New Zealand’s Ministry of Defense to reporters this morning.

Allan Seymour sold thousands of sheep to Syria to “satisfy ISIS soldiers sexual appetite” according to a joint CIA and MI6 report has admitted New Zealand’s Ministry of Defense

The lust for sheep

According to political analyst and Middle Eastern expert Dave Wellsborough, the demand for livestock in the region is nothing new.

“ISIS soldiers are importing large quantities of livestock from other regions in the area because ISIS soldiers have a high libido giving that there are not many women around,” he explains.

“Islamic law permits to sleep with goats, sheep or other livestock as long as the animal is killed afterward, which explains the high numbers,” he adds.

Bestiality and Islam

“A man is still considered pure when he releases his lust with a sheep or goat. If there is no woman, then there is no true lust or sexual sin. Then the animal becomes tainted and so must die. So says the Prophet Mohammed”.

According to New Zealand Customs services, over 20,000 sheep were shipped by Allan Seymour in the last year, but hundreds of thousands more could have been sent from other New Zealand farmers to ISIS forces which are presently unaccounted for.

World News Daily Report assumes all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content.
All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.