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Friday, July 15, 2016

Turkey's Prime Minister... Ok! Let's Be Real! What do I Give a F--K?

My life is one with so many twist and turns, deprivations; filled with anxiety; a life where just making it to sundown with a little food in the house and the ability to flip a light switch and watch the bulb light up are enough to leave a sense of relief. I:

Work as a hack for a bunch of crooks who praise God in the morning, fornicate with Harlot in the afternoon and play poker with the Devil at night. Through their smiles and slaps on the back they treat me like a mutt with mange, and rob me too! I have an ex who gets enough money a week to fund an Hammas jihad, a woman who I can readily foresee squatting over my grave and relieving herself on my coffin while the 4-5 other mourners watch. My family and friends think I'm a drug addict because of my past requests for a few dollars to help me feed my kids.Drug addict? LMFAO! I wish I was a drug addict so some of this ever present pain and ill feelings might be soothed at times with a nice case of delirium. I have 4 kids who will probably be sitting there in their early teens as they witness my ex's explosive discharge onto my coffin as mentioned before. I quit smoking but when my neighbor hears she says" Roll Your Own down the block is only $40 bucks a carton" thus the constant noxious cloud around me. I have gout, It takes me longer to pee in the am than it does waiting for an express 4 train to enter 125 street and I'm getting so fat that yesterday I went to bend over to pick up a $100 bill off the floor and some 80 year old guy walking by beat me to it without ever breaking stride.
For all these complaints I do have an absolutely beautiful woman, 20 years younger than me who still, after 5 years, I still not only love but lust after ( this is a hint for those bachelors out there. Love is great, lust good too but when brought together in one woman, BLAST OFF!). Go ahead, point a finger in my face and in 2 minutes she'll be wearing it on a chain around her neck. She spends the day with 3 children who constantly request " Mommy? Mommy?Mommy?Mommy?Mommy?Mommy?Mommy?Mommy?Mommy?" 2-3000 times a day, each of whom have some type of electronic device which is losing power, needs a password entered or is thrown at each other for the smallest infraction. EVERY MOMENT! A woman who still puts makeup on and brushes her hair before coming to bed and gets ready 3 children for school and nursery by herself while the day's first surges of adrenaline are coursing through their bodies undistilled. A woman who confounds the shit out of me every time I look in the mirror and say to myself "What the fuck in God's good world could this woman possibly be jealous of" .
This brings me back to the title of Turkey and the coup that occurred tonight referred to in the title of this post. Let's be honest: why do I give a damn about a coup in a country that is as significant to me as some Hindu pissing in the Ganges? It doesn't!! I couldn't give a damn if Turkey had a coup, a tsunami or 50% off a barrel of humus, In the morning I'll be be standing there listening to Len and Todd in the morning as I wait for the first drops of urine to drip out, right hand on the wall while whispering through clenched teeth "come on! come on!" and next pulling my 2 and 3 year old apart who are going at it like Ali and Frazier at the same ignoring call after call from bill collectors with the tenacity of hungry rats after a fresh piece of mozzarella. But then I'll see my Priscilla, fresh out of bed and looking as beautiful as if she had been up for hours with lipstick in one hand and mascara in the other. And that's all I need to boost me up to face another day like a man sure of having the winning six mega-million numbers cold. Turkey is then lost to the mind like one with Alzheimer's. And I'm ready to start my day.