Monday, September 8, 2008

BSNYC Monday Fun Quiz!

I'm extremely fortunate in that readers often share wonderful bits of bike-related absurdity with me. In turn, I would like to share some of them with you. However, my munificence is always tinged with a bit of sadism, and since it is a Monday in September I am going to do so in the form of a quiz. As usual, study the question and choose your answer. If you're right, you'll know it. If you're wrong, you'll pay a visit to the Blue Oyster bar from "Police Academy."

Even if you bought all those parts at retail and built your own Pista, you'd spend less than the asking price for that monstrosity.

As a St.Pete/Tampa -area resident, I can safely say "late to the party, slim on commonsense" for that ijit. Good luck selling your Pista, dipshit. I think your skintight girlpants are cutting off the circulation to your "brain".

10 things I can carry on the Bontrager carbon seat post rack (but only one at a time):

1. My laptop without the battery2. A toy poodle3. Two SRAM Red road gruppos4. A six pack of crappy domestic beer in the new lightweight aluminum bottles.5. Five kilos of coke6. 6 months worth of Performance Bike flyers that come in the mail7. At least a gross of Knog Frogs8. Enough vinyl LP's to DJ Rain City Fixed's next photo shoot.9. A couple of the old traditional non-carbon seat post racks.10. A 10-lb bag of cat litter and a toy mouse.

A fixed gear Sturmey-Archer three speed? What an out-of-date piece of crap.

I'm going to take an entire afternoon off from my thesis to ask questions about the nature of life, and to make my Campy Super Record into a 33 speed fixed gear. I'll pour Gorilla Glue into the hub and install a triple on the front of the bike, a late model Bianchi I'm either going to rescue from the garbage bin this afternoon, or liberate from a bike rack at work.

Sure, there are some chain skip issues, but it's nothing I can't cure with a little bit of R&D budget. I'm looking for investors. I figure in a world filled with $2700 Pistas, it's a can't miss.

And before the haters start in on me, I thought about putting a compact crank up front or locking up the freehub by just jamming a screwdriver into it until it wouldn't turn any more, but that'd be low class.

Frilly - I'm not sure what you are referring to when you say "that one", but I will assume you're talking about my comment (let me know if I'm wrong). I think of lance as a doper, so I have to ask myself, why would he want to come back to racing? The only thing I can come up with (as far as jokes go) is that he must want to try out some of the new doping products all the cool kids are doing these days (Ricco). Or maybe he's discovered some new way of doping that the authorities are not up on yet, and figures he can get another Tour or two before they start catching on.I'm actually glad he's making a come back though, since he's the only thing that can save my beloved Tour de Georgia.

I was recently asked by some of my 8th grade private school students if my bike is a fixie and they were very disappointed to find out that is not. Not 10 minutes later an escaped alpaca was seen strolling across campus.

guys, guys, guys - please sign under your own names, and don't take credit for posts that aren't yours. especially pointless one, and especially if you choose to remain anonymous

I'm the real anonymous 12:50 O.G. / masshole, who posted at 12:50 and 12:59, but emphatically NOT (see how emphatic my capital letters make it? i mean business) 1:03 who claimed to be me, and not 2:10 who seems to be trying to discredit me, and (i wonder) is either aligned with the faux (NO. G.) anonymous 1:03 or is in fact anonymous 1:03 herself.

I don't know, it just seems like things are gonna get a little jacked up with LA, Levi, Contador, & Kloden in a lot of the same races. Look at whats happening at the Vuelta, Levi's trying to play it down when he should be thanking the cycling gods.

Fuck your opinion. First amendment bitch-ass. Check out the phone tracing page I set up. Much better than the bikesnob blog I have been jumping the shark on for the past year. I'm sure you parents will love being able to check in on you...crybaby

I've always had a policy of not policing the comments, and I'd like to keep it that way. It's kind of sad that someone would be compelled to post comments as me, but attention-seeking knows no bounds. I say all I have to say in my posts anyway. As much as I like to post in my own comments section occasionally, going forward you can probably assume any comments from "bikesnobnyc" are fake.

I've always had a policy of not policing the comments, and I'd like to keep it that way. It's kind of sad that someone would be compelled to post comments as me, but attention-seeking knows no bounds. I say all I have to say in my posts anyway. As much as I like to post in my own comments section occasionally, going forward you can probably assume any comments from "bikesnobnyc" are fake.

...and by saying everything i need to say in my post i really mean im not saying anything. i don't say anything in my posts. this is just place for me to shine light up my ass. we are all glory hounds in this blog race of life. who has the fucking awesome writing skills though? I do. I am a fucking good writer.

It's a fashion war. we dont have enough to pay for tight jeans and snapped surly frames. we cant walk down bedford without being reminded of immeasurable atrocities and general collapses of every form of society. it brings me down...

...this all begs the question "can the shark be considered to have been jumped, when in fact he's been pushed into & left lying in the gutter, wallowing in three inches of dirty, scummy, condom & cigarette infested spittle from the mouths of anonymous & anomalous little dick-ed, potty mouthed unimaginative trolls ???"...

...nah, i think not...

...bsnyc/rtms stands on his own witty yet corrosive but certainly not for a minute, corroding, pedestal & far greater minds than ours, have attested to that...

Anonymous 12:50 NO. G.: you are truly disturbed to continue to try and take (anonymous!) credit for a pointless post. you're like george costanza, trapped in an inconsequential lie but fighting it to the death. you're starting to frighten me. i think i might let you have my post after all.

Wow i only missed two on this quiz. Best I've ever done. Didn't get the wankster question or the math question right. Maybe there is hope for all the weak ass pussys pushing their fixed gears up hills...The 3 speed fixed gear hub!!! HooooRaaay! I can see dudes rocking these shits with their flip flops now...

I have developed a paranoia that BSNYC is watching me everytime I hop on my fixie and do a track stand. Seriously, Snobby. Was that you on the bench in Prospect Park today. I felt judged in that BSNYC way.

Sadly, it appears that our beloved comment section is what has jumped the shark, not the blog itself. Urbane wit has lost out to deranged imposters and navel-gazing posers. Today's comments were a chore to plow through.

I have to agree with wisheshewasmerckx. It's bad enough to have to put up with a steady stream of Idiot Trolls of the Month, but when the Pathetic Garbage Quotient gets up where it got yesterday, I start to wonder why I keep reading the comments. Lots of blogs are better for the judicious use of the delete button practiced by their owners. I think of it as being just like cleaning out the refrigerator. Why let that stuff fester?

Been a while, but I thought I'd get in here to talk about the SA 3-Speed Fixed Gear. SA's had this technology since the 50's, but it's mainly been sold in Britain. It was illegal to organize a mass start bike race in GB until relatively recently and fixed gears were popular for the time trials that were run on the island. SA brought the internal geared fixed hub to the market to take advantage of the desire to keep the fixed gear but have a variety of gears as well.

That being said, I'd certainly ride one of the new ones, but never without a brake. I'm also pretty stoked they're considering reintroducing them (oh, sorry, considering 'dropping' them again) since the originals are selling for $600+ for just the hub. How about that Sturmey Archer 3-Speed Fixed Dex?

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!