Could Charlie Sheen Have Worked His Magic In Northern Ireland?

Many people in Hollywood are running scared that they may be HIV Positive after having a quiet night in with Charlie Sheen.

While this is worrying and I wouldn’t wish this virus on anyone I am wondering how Charlie convinced so many woman to sleep with him? Especially in the later years.

It’s not like Charlie hides who he is. Claiming to have slept with over 5000 women, I’m sure that number 5001 felt really classy when she agreed to be another notch on his very long bed post.

I imagine that being with that insane amount of women numbs the brain. Any special feeling or connection that happens when you hook up must have disappeared about 4500 women ago. I imagine there isn’t much joy in his life any more and he now has to force down the empty feelings he has with more drink, drugs and sex.

Watching his interview with Matt Lauer I didn’t see a guy with tiger blood, I didn’t see a guy bi-winning. I saw a guy who climbed to the top of the celebrity tree and found nothing. His indulgent lifestyle has caught up with him.

I kind of felt sorry for him. Who knows how anyone else would react given all that money, power and fame? But I felt more sorry for the women he lied to and all the people in the trail of destruction he has left behind him in his endless pursuit for the next pleasure fix.

We can only be grateful now that having HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. In the western world anyway, with the right medication you can control the spread of the virus and the symptoms so well that in a couple of years people will talk about AIDS like they talk about their recurring bad back!

The Hollywood Hills are a million miles away from the Glenshane Pass in Northern Ireland. While he has been with thousands of women, I would like to see Charlie try and convince just one Irish girl to go to Nandos with him. While there are party animals out there, most of the woman here are tough work. And I like it that way.

To get a girlfriend in Ulster first of all you have to at least have played for the Ulster Ravens rugby team and then you need to drive at minimum a brand new Sirroco.

Then you have to study at Queen’s University and learn to brag about how good your degree is in a subtle non braggy style. Then you need to have played base guitar for at least Two Door Cinema Club. Then you need to get her dad to like you and hate you at the same time. Then all her friends have approve and secretly be jealous.

Finally once all this is done you have to ask Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness as well as UTV’s Julian Simmons to sign off on the relationship and then you can take her to Cutter’s Wharf for a plate of chips.

This is a lot of effort but it makes you loyal. You only want to go through all that once or twice. This means that on that rare occasion where a woman agrees to give you five minutes of her time it means something. And if you don’t screw it up you might actually find out it’s kind of fun to get to know someone.

At the start anyway… Then reality kicks in. The adrenaline dies. The ‘Nothing’s wrong Peter’ starts. Behind all the excitement of initially having a girlfriend there eventually is revealed an actual person who you have to get to know. When all the hype of the first few weeks disappears and it dawns on you that you aren’t compatible. Now you feel stuck.

Sometimes being single has its advantages. Maybe what has happened in the crazy world of Hollywood and Charlie Sheen can be a lesson for us all. All you need is one, or none at all.