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Road Kill

The usual group of neighborhood Moms and their assorted kids had gathered in our cul-de-sac. There were trikes and scooters scattered here and there as well as a rather fancy battery-powered jeep to ride.

I’m not going to lie. I was nervous. Not for my own children but for the children of my friends. I jokingly asked if they wouldn’t mind signing waivers releasing me from all medical and legal claims against Full Speed and T.Puzzle.

My initial fears seemed to be unfounded. Turns out Full Speed was an incredibly skilled jeep driver. He maneuvered through the obstacles of running kids and toys with complete control. He knew exactly when to push it, when to let up and when to spin it back away from the gaggle of little ones.

It was rather entertaining to watch. I guess all those training hours of ‘driving’ video race cars at speeds topping out at 200 mph had really paid off.

T.Puzzle looks on as Full Speed hones his driving skills.

Until…

Inevitably the other kids needed a turn behind the wheel. T.Puzzle took over and what does Full Speed do? He tries to run along next to the jeep and hold on to it. All the Moms are screaming at him to “LET GO, FULL SPEED. GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

Does he listen?

No.

Does he become instant road kill?

Yes.

Does Mom nearly pass out at the image of a jeep driving over and trapping her oldest son?

Yes.

Will she ever recover?

No.

Thankfully, Full Speed did make a full recovery with only minor road rash injuries. As for me? The psychological damage is beyond repair.