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Smallville season 5 minicaps thanks you for your sympathies during this trying time. But seriously, we’ve just been busy with other things this month. Don’t worry.

Stewart here…

So, everything was starting to look really good for Clark this season. He planned to reveal his secret to Lana, Jonathan was about to become a senator, and then everything went to crap. To save Lana’s life, another life got taken in place of that: Jonathan. Let’s not debate if that trade off was worth it. So, where do we go from that horrible loss? Well…

“Vengeance”

Still recovering from Jonathan’s death, Clark gets a chance to deal with his feelings when a prized family heirloom is stolen. While looking, he makes friends with another superpowered person, who is a vigilante on a mission of brutal justice. And lo and behold, this all leads to trouble when that vigilante’s mission takes them to Lionel Luthor’s doorstep. While I love the final scene of this episode, the rest of it isn’t that strong of a follow-up to the previous episode.

–Lionel offering sympathy for Martha: file that under things that make you go “ewww”.

–Also, since Jonathan got elected senator before he died, Martha is being asked to fill that spot. Would kill some time between watching old family videos is all.

Sniff. And all I had to do was watch 40 odd minutes of a so-so episode to get here.

–I also decided to watch the webisodes featuring Andrea, which are meh, if noteworthy just to see what happened to tech terror Molly from season 3’s “Delete”. Apparently living in the sewer is preferable to being in a psych ward.

–Staging a mugging to lure out a superhero sometimes doesn’t work, as Clark and Chloe find out.

–Oh, before I forget, Lana finds for Clark his father’s watch.

–Clark: “I’m not a sidekick.”

“Tomb”

Chloe is haunted by the vision of a dead woman, and is getting driven crazy by it. Worse news is, that vision is a ghost who possesses Chloe to find and seek revenge on her killer. That quest also endangers Lois when that killer wants to make her another victim. A good enough Chloe-centric story, even if we do go back to the old “possessed by something” trope from last season (and not the last time this season we go back to this well). Plus, we get to meet Chloe’s mom, or at least the back of her head anyway (wait until next season for the front view).

–So yeah, it’s the creepy orderly that we lingered on just long enough to realize, “yeah, that’s probably the killer”.

Chloe looks like she discovered one of Lana’s ex-boyfriends behind that wall.

–Lois throwing that knife into that orderly’s chest for the win! Also, strange we don’t really see that Gretchen-possessed orderly stab himself to death.

–Looks like Martha’s going to take Jonathan’s senate seat. Now that Clark ditched college life, he’s got some free time to spend on the farm.

–So Clark and Lana realize they have problems with keeping secrets from each other that only escalated the problem with Chloe. Boo hoo.

–Funny bit: Lois spraying insense all over the apartment after uncovering Gretchen’s skeleton in the bathroom wall.

“Cyborg”

Clark meets a potential ally in Victor, a man who has been made part machine by a related LuthorCorp experiment. Victor has escaped the lab with his new abilities, but finds himself being hunted by a doctor looking to further his creation. Also, Martha is being blackmailed by someone with video of Clark saving Lana back in “Lockdown”, and Lionel really wants to help her. And if you can’t see what the twist of this is yet, seriously, you may have the same memory trouble most of the characters on this show seem to have.

–Another big elephant in the room for this season, namely Lee Thompson Young as Victor, who just a few months ago, was found dead of an apparent suicide. A saddening loss.

–Of course Lionel had something to do with that blackmail tape sent to Martha (but not with sending her the last few seconds which identifies Clark definitely). And his ominous “Your secret is safe with me, Kal-El” is certainly not good news either.

–Just a feeling I think will pop up again next season, but I really don’t think Lex is okay with letting go of Victor.

Victor Stone (Cyborg) also comes with a Zip drive. Remember those?

–Victor’s response to Lex’s claims of being normal with all those cybernetics: “Normal? Half my body is out of the Sharper Image catalog.”

–“You’re not the only one who drinks a lot of milk.”

“Hypnotic”

Friends never send friends a sexy looking hypnotist to sabotage their relationship with their girlfriends. Well, that’s exactly what Lex does to Clark in this episode, but the only snag in this plan is when said sexy hypnotist Simone discovers Clark’s powers, she plans on using him to get rid of Lex. While that backfires, it does get Clark into letting go of Lana and their relationship. And that’s bad news, because she seeks consoling from Lex. Some days you just can’t win.

–Don’t turn to Lex, Lana! I’ve seen most of season six! You’ll (and we’ll) regret it!

–Boy, Lex, you’re really stretching it to suggest that Clark got all super-strong thanks to Simone’s hypnosis. Of course, he should be all better after Chloe shoots Simone’s hypnosis locket (and ultimately kills her, making it the second person Chloe has inadvertently shot).

–I love how hypnotized Martha interprets “keep Lois at the farm at any cost” as “hold Lois hostage with a shotgun”. And on top of that, Lois’s concern with knocking Martha out cold. Hey, she’s probably clocked a state senator unconscious, so she should be worried.

–Oh, before we forget, Milton Fine popped up back in Honduras and is testing some kind of lethal virus (he can also multiply thanks to the ship, apparently). And also, Lex hires him for help when told about a possible invasion from other Kryptonians. If only he knew…

More than one James Marsters running around could threaten the stability of our universe. Maybe.

NEXT TIME: Clark and Lex suffer near-death experiences thanks to a deadly substance in “Void”, Clark helps a telekinetic with some anger issues in “Fragile”, Lionel and Martha are trapped in a death maze in “Mercy”, and an invisible hitman wants to take Lex out of the Clark/Lana/Lex love triangle permanently in “Fade”.