Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I can tell you where you can
see it, but you have to promise not to scream in denial.

Take off all your clothes, and
look in the mirror.

Now, before you scream in
denial (did you promise you wouldn’t?), please consider my theory.

I believe you (and I) need to
love ourselves, inside and out.

If you’re thinking, “Are you
crazy? My body isn’t perfect! I thought you were going to tell me where I can
see a beautiful body”, then read on.

Firstly, ‘beautiful’ is
subjective; what is beautiful to one person is not to another. We all ‘prefer’
a certain look.

Why not ‘prefer’ your own look?

Start by believing your own
body is beautiful; inside and out.

Love and accept yourself, as
you are now.

This is not a new idea, and one
I have subscribed to for many years, although I haven’t always practiced it
myself.

I learned a theory many years
ago, that I also agreed to; that we choose our own body. This theory also
suggests that we choose our parents, and our whole life.

In a simpler manner, surely you
can agree that you have contributed in some way to how your body is now.

Sure, genetics play a role.
I’ll take that belief too. I have some features like my mum, some like my dad,
some like my granny, etc.

We inherit features, but we can
also agree to beliefs, just because someone told us that. For example, “All the
women in our family have big thighs.”

We have the ability to choose
our own lifestyle; what we consume and what activities we do, who we spend time
with, and all the important decisions that contribute to our wonderful body. Doing something differently
with your body (even if you have a predisposition to something), can certainly
change your body shape.

Take responsibility for how you
are now.

I have experienced quite a few
lifestyle changes in the last few years, and have a few ailments I’d like to
eliminate. I can see these ailments are directly related to my emotional state.

My beliefs tell me that once I totally
accept and love my body, then I can heal myself.

I do have a positive
self-image, but can still work on this. We all can.

I can go about making changes
to my body and changing my thinking to heal myself, but it begins with loving
myself as I am right now.

I’ve written a self-development
book, I Love You, sub-titled, Love Yourself and Love Others for a
Fulfilling Life.

Here is an excerpt from I Love You:

The first step in creating the life you want is to love yourself now.
Start with saying aloud, “I love myself now, as I am.”

Love every part of yourself, and if you want to change something,
agree now that you will do it. If you don’t want to change it, accept it.

You can love yourself without thinking you are perfect. I use the word
‘perfect’ a lot in my writing and coaching, and I say it to mean that something
is ‘perfect for you.’ I can feel perfect as I am right now; even though I still
have things I want to change. I can be
working on changes while also loving myself.

Accept yourself as you are now. You need to accept yourself as you are
now, to be able to change if you want to.

Love yourself now and want
to change. That's the key. I encourage you to think that you’re okay as you are
now. If you love and accept yourself
now, as you are, then that creates a good feeling. A good feeling will create
more good feelings.

Think to yourself that you can
change if you want to. You can do
more and you can improve any area of
your life (or all of it).

Loving yourself is allowing yourself to be your best. Think now that you can have your best life.

Take a good look at yourself, inside and out. Look at yourself in the
mirror for added effect. Bonus points for your self-development if you can do
this naked. I’m going to call this ‘the
naked exam.’ It is like an exam, you are examining yourself. You’re deciding
what you want to keep and what you want to change. It’s confronting to strip
naked and stare at yourself in the mirror and really accept yourself. I expect
this will be emotional. That is the point. When you get emotional about an
issue, it’s the ‘fuel’ to motivate you to change what you want. Alternatively,
you can do the naked exam and not want to change, but instead just decide
that’s who you are and that you are wonderful. I want you to do it for it
brings so many benefits. Your emotions could range from pure love to disdain
for yourself. You could feel embarrassed
to look at yourself in the mirror. I know some people can’t do this, or they
cringe to look at themselves, or they may feel they just don’t want to. Imagine
how your life could change if you could do this and feel good about yourself. You could look at life differently, by having
more confidence. You could relax about the little details. You could laugh at
yourself more. You could simply enjoy your life more. This could empower you to
be your best.

My emotions and reactions to looking at myself naked have changed as I
have become more self-assured. (Yes, I take my own advice.) I’m sure they will
for you too. I now feel relief that I can confidently look myself square in the
eyes and say, “I Love You” and really mean it. Please try this. I’m sure you
will reap many positive benefits from it. If you can’t do it naked, start with
being clothed. But I strongly suggest you work your way up to ‘the naked exam.’
Look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud, “I Love You” (and say your
name). Mean it, and just ‘be’ with yourself. Be alone. Laugh at yourself, if
this works for you. Cry if you need to. Get all the emotions out. No one is
watching you, this is for you. It will benefit your whole life in my opinion.

If you want to, talk to a friend or partner about how you feel about
yourself, and the changes you want to make. You can prefer just to keep this to
yourself. Feel the feelings you have about yourself, and only share them if you
want to.

If you have really had enough of the status quo, then that is often
all the motivation you need to make positive changes. When you really have that
feeling of ‘enough,’ or ‘never again,’ it can motivate you to change. This is
the ‘fuel’ I mentioned. This can be something about you physically,
emotionally, or it could be the way you feel you are being ‘treated.’ I believe
that we teach others how we want to be treated. Now is the time to regain
control of your life, starting with your assessment of your own self-worth.

How you feel about yourself and how you treat yourself will determine
how others treat you, and what you ‘attract’ in your life. It’s all about the
energy you radiate, and we’ll talk more about this in forthcoming books.

Put this book down now and go and do ‘the naked exam,’ or do it when
you next have the opportunity to be alone.

The good news is that you get to pass your own ‘naked exam.’ You’re
the one who decides that you’re amazing, worthy and lovable.

-End
of book excerpt-

Now, that was easy, right?

I’m assuming you did the ‘Naked
Exam’, and if you didn’t, that you will when you have the next opportunity.

Do you feel empowered? Do you
feel like you can now move on and do anything? That was the aim, but if you don’t
feel this way, I’d like to hear about any progress.

Looking at yourself naked in
the mirror doesn’t need to be a traumatic experience. It is designed to make
you feel good. I believe positive
self-talk should be taught in school, but at the very least taught at home, by
parents. Tell your own children how wonderful they are. Tell your teenagers they
are beautiful, when they are complaining of pimples and changing bodies. I write affirmations on my
bathroom mirror, with just enough room to admire myself, and of course to do my
‘naked exam.’

Do you still want to see that
perfect naked body I promised you in the title? You do have the perfect naked
body. It is perfect for you. If you want to make changes, then do that. Eat
healthier foods and exercise to change your shape and improve your health.

Call me crazy if you like, but
please try the ‘naked exam’, and see your life change.

A wise man once said it is
crazy to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. It’s the
same with your thinking. Change your thinking about your body; love it and it
will love you right back.