4. Part 4

I can’t do it. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I’m going insane. Why? Why did I choose to do this? I’m so close yet so far away! Hide— Hide— HIDE! I growled standing up from the position I was in laying down on the ground, watching the love of my life try and escape the CCG again.

‘Control yourself Kaneki! For god sakes and you call yourself a ghoul!’ I gasped and dropped to the ground at the sound of Hide’s voice running through my heard, but it wasn’t Hide’s voice. It was evil and manipulative. I was going insane. That was it.

“KANEKI!” I jumped at the sound of Hide’s voice screaming my name. This was getting harder and harder to do everyday. He knows I am nearby yet he still tortures me by screaming out to me. “PLEASE COME BACK!’ sadness and hurt was laced in his words as his sobs were able to be heard by me. Just a bit longer Hide, as soon as I have found as place for just the two of us.

Hide didn’t know I had been doing that ever since I handed him over to the CCG. I knew they weren’t hurting him, the man that tried to kill me that night but didn’t, is keeping good care of Hide and making sure no one tried to experiment on him. And I now know for a fact that Hide is still human because he continues to eat the food that I now despise. I can’t believe that I almost turned him into a ghoul, a monster, a freak. I sighed; my body slumped as I returned my gaze to Hide, who was standing at the wire gate of the CCG with two guards on either side of him.

He was never left alone. I wasn’t sure if it was to stop him from escaping, or if they don’t fully trust him because he was my lover— no, is my lover. He never stopped being my lover ever since it became so. The guards are different for once, not the same two he normally has. And I don’t like the look of these guys— they look like they want to hurt Hide.

My eyes widened and I gasped, and before I could stop myself, I was jumping from the building I was in because one of these men was raising a knife to Hide’s head. I growled and before I knew it, my kagune was out and grabbing the man which was about to strike, and threw him across the yard away from my lover. I watched Hide, seeing him up close for the first time in weeks, his face lit up with happiness, but fear was unsettled in his eyes for the fact that someone just tried to kill him, even after his protection was guaranteed.

“If you think, that you can strike my lover, and get away with it, well you thought wrong.” The strikers’ partner was a few metres away from me, staring at me with a glare on his face, a knife in hand. I rolled my eyes at him, annoyed as all hell.

“This ‘Hide’ is not human! I can prove it, just let me cut him!” I simply shook my head,

“Never will I allow you to do that. Hide is completely human. I am not sure what is it that makes you believe that he is a ghoul, but I will never let my lover become such a horrible creature!” the man laughed. He reminded me of the Dove that Touka and Hinami killed all those months ago. The man with the grey hair and creepy looking face, the one that killed Hinami’s mother, and I couldn’t do a single thing to stop it.

I shook the thought from my head and returned my thoughts to that of Hide and this man. Hide was instantly safer the second I began protecting him. For god sakes, why couldn’t these men have waited just a few more days? Where was the man that had promised me Hide’s protection? If he was doing his job properly, than this attack wouldn’t be happening right now!

“Hide, we are leaving, come here.” Out of the corner of my eye I watched Hide nod and walk towards me. I looked around the area to try and find the other guard but he was gone from my sights. Panic flooded my body and I quickly ran to Hide, grabbing him in my arms before I ran off, jumping the fence and using the fence as a boost as use it to jump up to the building from which I was watching Hide just moments ago.

“Kaneki—”Hide’s arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me close to him. I sighed in relief and wrapped my arms around him tighter. When we landed I was almost too happy to talk or do anything. I just wanted to keep Hide in my arms forever, but that wasn’t possible.

“Hide— I am so sorry it took so long.” There was more for me to say, but not while we were running away. The men that had attacked Hide were now running after us. I could hear them coming up to the building. I don’t think that they are some of the older CCG personale. They must have joined right after the battle and that meant that they weren’t survivors and don’t know everything about the two of us. I was hoping this confrontation would be in a few more days, which was all I needed to finished sorting everything out for Hide and I.

“Kaneki, don’t worry about it. I just— I hated being to far away from you; yet at the same time, so close.” I nodded agreeing with him. The shouting was getting closer. I think they are at the building now. We are running out of time, the longer it takes for me to tell Hide that there are two men at the bottom of this building waiting to kill the both of us, the harder it will be for us to make a clean getaway without me having to fight them. I don’t want to fight anymore. I am strong enough to keep Hide safe, but for me to be able to love him, I don’t want to have to fight for him anymore. Hide was still rambling but iwasn’t listening anymore, I couldn’t listen, I was too paranoid about the assholes coming up here to kill Hide.

“Hide, we need to go!” Hide stopped talking when I interrupted, confusion on his face. He didn’t fully understand that the two men from before were actually trying to kill him, and he didn’t understand that they still were trying.

“I don’t understand Kaneki. Why do we need to go? We’re finally together.” I sighed and pulled Hide close. Now that he was better, he was taller than me again. Goddamnit why was he so tall?

“The CCG men from just before, they were trying to kill you and they still are. Right now they are half way up this building, and we won’t be able to get away if we wait any longer. We need to go right now Hide.” Hide just gave me a weird look,

“Why don’t you just stop them by hurting them or something?” I almost choked at what Hide was saying.

“Hide— I can’t do that— not in front of you and I refuse to kill anymore like that. No one understands that there is no need for fighting because the more we fight, the more our loved ones get hurt, and I refuse to see more of that.” Hide looked even more confused,

“But Kaneki— isnt that all you’ve been doing the last few months you were missing?” how did he know? There was no way he could have known— did he collect data from the CCG or something? Is that possible? He wasn’t that high up in the ranks was he?

“That was only so I could get stronger, and I wasn’t in the right mindset at the time— I had just spent days being tortured, and I was ready to die myself, before I let myself be consumed by darkness, which almost seemed to disappear when we found each other again.” Hide’s face grew sad and I guess now he understood why I did what I did.

“Oh— I just thought that because you were a ghoul, you would be crazy. Do you know what I mean?” I cocked my head and took a step away from Hide— this doesn’t feel right— it feels too weird. And it doesn’t help that the two men were here now.

“Eyepatch get away from that ghoul. We don’t want you to get hurt.” I didn’t turn to face the CCG men since I could hear where they were moving.

“What are you talking about?” I asked everyone in the room. I wanted an answer and I wanted it now. This was not Hide, so what the fuck was it?

“It’s a ghoul that has something wrong with it. It was a ghoul that attack Hideyoshi during the attack but was reprimanded, but it took on the appearance of Hideyoshi and has been trying to escape the last few days by acting as Hideyoshi, the real one; but we knew it wasn’t the real one since the real one has been locked up safe and sound in the safety department of the CCG since we did not wish for any harm to come to him.”

I hate saying this, but it makes way too much sense. Hideyoshi, sure he would fight, but he would never make me fight. He was the stronger one between the two of us, even after I became a ghoul, because he never gave up on me. He remained strong even when I went missing. He did everything he could to find me, he even got himself killed, and I only just managed to bring him back to life.

“I can’t believe I allowed myself to be tricked by something so stupid and medieval.” My kagune came out before I could control it, and rammed itself through the Hide clone, spearing it through the stomach. It was not a kill strike, but a strike strong enough for the two CCG guards to come over and grab it, sliding the knives into the open wound, causing the clone to scream out.

“The knives are filled with a sedative that only work on ghouls so that we can contain them and not mistake them for humans.” I nodded. So that’s why they said to let them attack the clone, so that they could prove that it was a ghoul.

“So the real Hideyoshi— is he safe?” the men both nodded. The one that didn’t look like the Dove that Touka and Hinami killed spoke in response,

“He is safe. He is in a quarantine area to which only several people can access. It has the same living areas as a normal apartment and everything he needs is provided. There is no need to worry, your lover is safe and as happy as he could be, considering he is away from you.” I cocked my head,

“What do you mean by that? How do you know that we are lovers?” the man laughed,

“The pair of you are imfamous. The boy that made the eyepatch fal to his knees without a fight. The ghoul that saved a human. I don’t know, you name it and they are more than likely talking about it.” I furrowed my brows and looked away.

“Just get the clone out of here before I kill it. None of this would have happened if it didn’t attack Hide in the first place. I will be coming for Hide in three days, please let him be ready.” The man nodded,

“Of course. But may I inquire as to what you are going to do with Hideyoshi once he is in your possession.” I sighed and turned to face the man, a sad look on my face.

“I am going to make sure he is safe and happy. I am going to make sure that the both of us are happy. I never want to make him sad again, and that means no more trying to get stronger, and no more running once we’re safe.” The man smiled at me,

“Love like that is beautiful, and I will make sure that your message is passed on to Hideyoshi.” I smiled in return to the man,

“Don’t worry about it Eyepatch. Everyone in the CCG before the battle already loved Hide from when he was our errand boy, there was no way any of us could hate him. That’s why it was so easy for the clone to continue to escape over and over again, because of the appearance it took on, it was easy for it to trick all of the older members so that it could escape, but us newbies were immune to it.” A laugh left the man and I frowned. I sniffed the air and I froze.

“Quickly— run away while you are not hurt.” The Man was confused.

“What are you talking about?” I frowned and my kagune slipped out.

“The sedative didn’t work.” The man froze and my kagune shoving him out of the way of the kagune heading straight for him which then moved towards me.