Postcard from the bunker

Dear all,

These last few weeks have been consumed with lots of time in the car and being responsible for all living things in this house not just those in the category of people and animals. I know, that can only mean one thing – the Matriarch has just had her fourth joint replacement surgery in as many years but her first knee done. Yep, she’s one joint and a pacemaker off being the Bionic Woman. Well that and a crazy in-arm electronic control panel.

All is well – the procedure was a hit, the hospital suitably dropped the ball on pain relief for her because what is a PRIVATE hospital stay (where you’ve been for three other procedures in recent years) without a distinct lack of pain relief. Idiots.

There was the incident of mum being in so much pain while having a sponge bath and bedding change which saw me discreetly dry-retching in her toilet with all the hot,sweaty, compulsive yawning, room spinning, yes I am hopeless when someone I love is in pain, and I can see the drain bag coming from the wound site FULL.OF.BLOOD, what can I say.

She came home for a few hours on Sunday – a visit I affectionately refer to as the rental inspection where it was noted I hadn’t killed any plants and had even planted a pot-bound bougainvillea (because it’s been giving me the absolute shits for years and I figure it can grow over the plastic netting on the fence that was for the passionfruit which the possums decimated but was met with a bit of a grimace, cue why I generally take a monumental disinterest in the garden) but also noted we had not fixed the pavers (ie raised them 1/2 cm). It was lovely having her home and it was the precursor to her return this Saturday – somewhere between cricket and three, that’s right, THREE birthday parties three of my children have invitations to.

Chef is settling in to his new job. There were other offerings which were distracting but nothing came of them and now he’s a bit low which reallly, all things considered, is perfectly normal because we all know had it been me there would have been a LOT of wailing and gnashing of teeth and general voice-of-doomness while Chef just quietly got on with life. I think it only fair for him to have a little wallow.

Felix has five weeks left of primary school. Amazing. I look at him and his friends in this weird in-between land of child and teenager and am SO.FREAKIN’.EXCITED.

Jasper’s dance concert is next weekend. It occurred to me at (just ONE of) the dress rehearsal on Sunday that the routine seems remarkably like the routine last year just to new music… oh and a new $70 costume.

I’ve been spending some time going way back into the vault to update tags and SEO shite and quite frankly – what a waste of fucking time. If you find me you find me and YAY to that. If you don’t well, look at that, the world is still turning.

I have pulled back from sponsored posts in quite a big way – they just feel so pedestrian. But that said, I had a PR pitch today asking if I was interested in doing one about MY LAWN – and SO NOT A EUPHEMISM for my lady parts, our ACTUAL lawn.

DO you want to know what I’d been doing for the THREE HOURS prior to receiving that email? I’d been digging up chunks of lawn in our back yard (all part of the paver remediation works AND also putting in some extra ones where I like to stand when hanging the washing…) and relocating to the front Nature Strip of Death, also known as the Hallowed Lawn of Weeds.

So you’ll be hearing all about THAT PR pitch in the ensuing weeks. I know, I can feel the excitement building too.

Last week I got all my hair cut off so I am now a MFP – mother-fuckin’ pixie. I didn’t know it was possible to love a haircut more with each passing day but here I am, doing exactly that. GO ME.

I’ve been running again – been at it for about the last four weeks. I’m back at being able to run for 5kms non-stop and today did it in just under 40 minutes. Writing that makes me realise that is actually really good so I should quit with the ‘you’re so fat and slow’ mantra and maybe focus more on the ‘at least you’re off the lounge’ one. I’m two kilos down but that is very prone to fluctuation. I’m just trying to take the panic out of it and take each day as it comes.

So yesterday was a two bowls of penne with four cheeses and a 4.5 hour nap. Today was a 5km run and 3 hours of gardening. Yeah, all or nothing seems to be my go-to.

And that, quite frankly, brings you mostly up to date. There’s LOADS of other exciting things to share, like how I changed the boys over from flannel to cotton sheets and have the doonas ready to either wash or get dry-cleaned to then be put away until the Months of Hades (also know as summer. Apparently.) or how one of my best and dearest friends (and her family) are relocating to New Zealand in the new year (SOB) or that every Saturday I now spend about six hours at some sort of cricket game and am ACTUALLY quite enjoying it. GO FIGURE.

Well at first it was being able to sit and chat with other adults and read the Saturday SMH on a Saturday morning for the first time in years, but then I had my turn at scoring and now I quite enjoy watching it. U12 cricket. Enjoy watching it. Send help.

Kill

Need MFP pic, stat! My last hair cut was so pedestrian and safe I am still wondering why I bothered at all. Berry pleased to hear you are inspiring yourself.