This morning I awoke very early to a message from Jay Baadsgard, a father in Washington state who has been through an antidepressant nightmare with his own son and feels for parents going through similar situations. Jay serves as our Southern Washington State Director for the International Coalition for Drugawareness (www.drugawareness.org and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/DRUGAWARENESS/)

Jay’s message contained an article about a Dallas/Ft Worth area teen, McCann L. Utu ll, 19, who stabbed to death two people who meant the world to him, his mother Stacy Fawcett, 45, and younger brother Josiah L. Utu, 17. He then called 911 while stabbing himself to death. From what I have learned about McCann and his mother, and his brother, they would all want what happened to them to be a warning to others about the potential dangers of these drugs so that many more lives might be spared a tragically similar fate.

Jay explaining with his son, Corey, 16, what happened to him when he took a gun to school can be found here and it is a very enlightening step into what is happening to the patient on the medications when these deadly toxic reactions hit: http://www.drugawareness.org/why-i-took-a-gun-to-school-1/

ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND HEAD INJURIES

According to McCann’s father he had taken Prozac for the past three months before this tragic reaction.

One very important issue that far too many are yet unaware of is that antidepressants should never be given to someone who has had a head injury and yet how many military with head injuries are being given these drugs? That is a warning Dr. Jay Seastrunk, a psychiatrist who has worked with brain injuries for the past several decades, made very clear to me back in the mid 90’s. I pointed out to him that if he was saying anyone who has ever had a head injury that would then include nearly everyone on the planet because we all learned to walk in the first year or two of life during which we all took many tumbles learning to do so.

Brain injury does play a critical role in this case, because with antidepressants on top of the head injury you have a recipe for total disaster. This is most likely because the main function of the anidepressant is to increase serotonin and the main function of serotonin is constriction of smooth muscle tissue. In so doing the antidepressant cuts off oxygen to the brain from two different directions: #1 The constricting the bronchial tubes thus impairing functioning of the lungs whose job it is to take in the necessary oxygen supply and #2 The constricting of the veins whose job it is to then carry the oxygen rich blood to the brain. This impairment of oxygen intake as well as oxygen delivery deprives the brain of the much needed oxygen to repair and heal the damage to the brain. Yet the only antidepressant I am aware of that actually carries strong warnings about head injury patients is Wellbutrin. The warning is associated with seizure activity. But many are not aware that rage and anger are known to be related to seizure activity and REM sleep is continuous mild seizure activity. So any drug that lowers the seizure threshold has the potential to increase the risk of all those reactions as well. (Read more on the REM Sleep Disorder below to get an idea of how significant a risk that is in these tragedies.)

That warning in the Wellbutrin package insert reads:

“The risk of seizure is also related to patient factors, clinical situations, and concomitant medications, which must be considered in selection of patients for therapy with WELLBUTRIN.

“Patient factors: Predisposing factors that may increase the risk of seizure with bupropion use include history of head trauma or prior seizure, CNS tumor, the presence of severe hepatic cirrhosis, and concomitant medications that lower seizure threshold.”

Now because antidepressants lower the seizure threshold keep in mind that mixing two of those could produce serious issues from this aspect of the increased potential of seizure activity. I am not talking about a full blown epileptic seizure, but the milder over activity within the brain itself as in the continuous mild seizure activity we would see in the dream state.

SSRIstories.NET is a database of the cases our group at the International Coalition for Drug Awareness has gathered over the past 2 1/2 decades, including nearly every school shooter and mass shooter in the country. The question remains in all of these cases as to the level of consciousness of the perpetrator – something that is never tested in the court cases and should be. (Tragically in this case that is no longer an option.) Testing is still back in the dark ages with blood levels of drugs rather than brain waves which will detect the level of consciousness and therefore culpability. These are drugs that accumulate in brain tissue at an alarming rate. Testing the blood tells us nothing about the level of toxicity.

EXCESS SEROTONIN PRODUCES EXTREME VIOLENCE

What so many were not aware of is that an increase in serotonin by an accompanying decrease in one’s ability to metabolize serotonin was long known to produce both impulsive murder and suicide. See this study out of the Southern California:

What the world remains unaware of is the fact is that 86% of those who are diagnosed with the most deadly sleep disorder known as REM Sleep Disorder (RBD) are currently taking antidepressants. REM Sleep Disorder is a condition in which there is no paralysis during sleep thus allowing the patient to act out the dreams or nightmares they are having. Tragically 80% of those going into this sleep disorder hurt themselves or others including both murder and suicide as a result.

This is possibly the most deadly of all reactions one can have to antidepressants. Even more frightening though is to learn that before the introduction of the SSRI antidepressants RBD was known mainly as a drug withdrawal effect. Thus the chances of going into this dangerous reaction should be expected to increase as one goes into withdrawal. This is why it is so important to avoid as much of the withdrawal effects as possible by tapering off the antidepressant very, very slowly. Feel free to join us on Facebook to learn more about this disorder on our Antidepressant-induced REM Sleep Disorder group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/106704639660883/

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness

DrugAwareness.org & SSRIstories.NET

Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here:http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one atwww.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) atwww.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

MY FACEBOOK POST FROM THIS MORNING: Orlando again?! Yet another antidepressant-induced mass killing? DO NOT let any mention of a possible terrorist attack keep you from asking questions. That seems to.be a great diversion tactic anymore. When you keep in mind several considerations you will see why I say that….

#1 The high number of antidepressant – induced cases of sexual preference changes. Serotonin is what determines sexual preference and I have additional new research to share with you on that besides the info from 2000 scientists back in 2000 who released the “canary in the coal mine” warning for mankind that the large amount of antidepressants in the water supply were causing male fish to be born with ovaries: http://www.alternet.org/speakeasy/martharosenberg/drug-store-your-tap-water-and-fish-prozac

[At that point this morning we had no information as to whether the shooter himself might be gay or the other possibility that on antidepressants he was suffering delusions that he might be gay due the the adverse effects of the medications and had become paranoid that he may be becoming gay lashing out because of that.]

#2 The large majority of mass shootings committed by those on antidepressants as documented in this database of cases:www.SSRIstories.NET

#3 The all too common tendency those beginning to go insane on antidepressants often tend to join all kinds of fringe groups

#4 The statement of the Taliban psychiatrist in an interview with an LA Times reporter who told his patients, while standing in an office surrounded by drug company promotional material on antidepressants, that swallowing antidepressants is “like swallowing a little piece of God!” Here is that full article from the LA Times: http://articles.latimes.com/2002/mar/11/news/mn-32224

LATEST REPORT FROM THE DAILY MAIL ON SHOOTER

Keep in mind as you read this that even though antidepressants are absolutely notorious for producing all of the side effects that are associated with the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder (which is actually best described as a sleep/seizure disorder, rather than what they call a mental disorder) few doctors treat the symptoms of what they call Bipolar Disorder without an antidepressant, often combined with an anti-seizure medication. So the mention of this shooter having symptoms of Bipolar Disorder is a very huge indication that he was taking an antidepressant known to cause this type of violence.

“Speaking to reporters on Sunday evening with her fiance beside her, Yusufiy [ex-wife] said she thought the shooting had ‘nothing to do’ with religion and had more to do with mental illness.

“Yusufiy, who said she did not agree with Mateen’s views, revealed her ex-husband was mentally unstable and had bipolar disorder, yet wanted to become a police officer and had applied to the police academy.”

‘After a few months he started to beat me,’ she said. ‘He was mentally unstable… he was obviously disturbed. I know he had a history of [taking] steroids.
‘I was with him for about four months, then my family rescued me….

“Yusufiy said that Mateen owned a gun during their marriage, was ‘short tempered’ and would express ‘hate towards things’. She would not reveal if he had any homophobic views.

“Following a brief romance, the pair tied the knot in March 2009 and moved into a two-bedroom home owned by Mateen’s family in Fort Pierce.

“At the start of their relationship, she told the Washington Post, he was not particularly religious and was not violent. But soon things changed.

‘That’s when I started worrying about my safety and he was abusing me physically very often and not allowing me to speak to my family and he kept me hostage from them,’ she said during her press conference….

“Despite his violence, she said there was no sign he would go on to be a mass murder.

The shooter apparently called 911 and pledged his allegiance to the leader of ISIS. My response as that came out was to me it sounded manic and suicidal. When has ISIS ever called 911 to announce something like that before an attack?

“The shooter’s father Seddique Mateen said that his son got angry when he saw two men kissing in Miami a couple of months ago and thinks that may be related to the shooting.

“He added: ‘We are saying we are apologizing for the whole incident. We weren’t aware of any action he is taking. We are in shock like the whole country.’

These drugs are producing a massive amount of manic reactions leading many to falsely be labeled Bipolar. You can listen to me explain that to the FDA and the widespread problems it is causing in our society, people’s personal lives, and in families around the world. As I discuss the work of Dr. Malcomb Bowers at Yale and he found in 2000 that a quarter of a million per year were being diagnosed as antidepressant-induced Bipolar every year in America back then. He and his colleagues went on to stress that most doctors do not recognize the antidepressant as being the cause of the Bipolar and, therefore, do not report it as such. The general rule of thumb for figuring the real number of side effects not reported is that less than 10% are reported which would indicate a figure of 2 1/2 million people every year! Is it any wonder the numbers of those diagnosed Bipolar increased by 400%in young people just from 1996 to 2004?! And if those figures are correct what are those numbers now, a decade and a half later?!

Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

Learn the serotonin connection in his death …. The toxicology released today on Prince shows he died of an overdose of the serotonergic pain killer Fentanyl. These drugs will often shut down the lungs as the serotonin constricts the broncial tubes. When it is eighty times stronger than morphine you have to ask what it is doing on the market! Now keep in mind that when they say he overdosed that does not necessarily mean he did that on purpose because the drug can accumulate in the system and the serotonin levels continuing to increase the longer he was on the drug can cause death via the elevated serotonin condition known as Serotonin Syndrome.

Elevated serotonin produces many of the symptoms Prince had been experiencing many of which could be called flu symptoms. Here is a list from several various sources: migraines, hot flashes, pains around the heart, difficulty breathing, a worsening of bronchial complaints, tension and anxiety which appear from out of nowhere, depression, suicide – especially very violent suicide, hostility, violent crime, arson, substance abuse, psychosis, mania, organic brain disease, autism, anorexia, reckless driving, Alzheimer’s, impulsive behavior with no concern for punishment, argumentative behavior, agitation or restlessness, dilated pupils, changes in blood pressure, nausea and/or vomiting,
diarrhea, rapid heart rate, tremor, loss of muscle coordination or twitching muscles, shivering and goose bumps, and seizures. And here is another list of symptoms:

Confusion: A serious symptom that may emerge is that of mental confusion. The person may struggle with memories, conversation, and may appear to be acting drugged or downright goofy. This increased mental confusion may make it difficult for the person to perform even menial cognitive tasks.

Death: The reason you need to seek immediate medical help if you suspect high serotonin is to avoid death. In some cases, high levels of serotonin are fatal and could end a person’s life. Always go into the doctor or emergency room if you have taken multiple serotonergic drugs as a combination.

Diarrhea: Some people develop severe bouts of diarrhea from serotonin toxicity. This is a neurotransmitter that is found in the GI tract and may be involved in digestive processes. Too much serotonin disrupts the GI tract and can result in us feeling sick with diarrhea.

Fever/Heavy Sweating: It is common to experience changes in body temperature as a result of serotonin syndrome. You may feel physically chilled and experience body shivers, but you may simultaneously be running a fever. If you have a fever, this is a sign that your body isn’t able to handle the serotonin increase.

Irregular heartbeat: It was already mentioned that you may experience an increased heart rate, but you may also experience an irregular heartbeat – which is problematic. An irregular heartbeat may put excess strain on your heart functioning. This is a sign that you need to be medically evaluated.

Loss of balance: If you feel as if you cannot properly walk or maintain balance, this is another sign of too much serotonin. There is often significant interference in our coordination when we have high levels of serotonin in the brain.

Muscle twitching: Your muscles may twitch excessively as a result of serotonin elevations. If you notice that certain parts of your body start to twitch, realize that it’s probably a result of serotonin toxicity.
Seizures: In extreme cases, some people respond to serotonin increases by having seizures. To prevent a seizure, it is recommended to do whatever you can to lower your serotonin as quickly and as efficiently as possible.

Unconsciousness: Some people may end up fainting or becoming unconscious if serotonin levels rise too high. If you feel faint or as if you may pass out, it’s best to get into the emergency room as soon as possible.

Vomiting: Some people end up feeling so nauseous with flu-like symptoms that they end up vomiting. While vomiting may be good in that it could clear some serotonin-based drugs from the system, this is a sign that a person needs immediate medical intervention

Weakness

The warning is that if you experience any of these symptoms, you or someone with you should seek medical attention immediately. Unfortunately with all the misinformation about how dangerous it is to increase serotonin levels too few doctors are even familiar with these symptoms being connected to Serotonin Syndrome. Obviously they missed many of these symptoms in Prince.

FIRST RECORDED CASE OF CHEMICALLY-INDUCED PSYCHOSIS

PRODUCED BY TWO SEROTONERGIC MEDICATIONS

One of the first cases of chemically induced psychosis was produced by two serotonergic medications prescribed by Sigmund Freud. Unless you have read my book Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? Our Serotonin Nightmare, you are likely unaware that Freud was a cocaine addict (Now you know where the “Father of Psychiatry” got all of his insane ideas!) Thrilled with the discovery of cocaine and addicted to it himself, Freud regularly prescribed the drug to the majority of his patients. When he tried to get a friend who was hooked on morphine, off of that drug by putting him on cocaine he quickly became one of the first recorded cases of cocaine-induced psychosis. Considering that both cocaine and morphine are serotonergic drugs I would imagine that the psychosis was more a combined effect of the two drugs since the two major types of psychosis both schizophrenia and mania/Bipolar are conditions of elevated serotonin.

If you have read my book you will also recall the case of a neighbor I mentioned who took Prozac for two years and when he quit cold turkey became so manic that he thought he was an ambassador to the Queen of England for five months. I think the mayor of Los Angeles is still upset that he never got the funds promised to him during that manic state! 🙂

Several years after recovering from that manic episode after realizing what had caused it and watching his diet closely he began to smoke again and eat junk food. Once again finding himself beginning to suffer depression a well meaning friend talked him into trying Effexor. After all it is spelled differently so maybe it will work differently? NOT! Once the metabolism of serotonin is impaired by an antidepressant taking any other drug that increases serotonin can be a serious problem. About the only real difference in the Effexor, he quickly learned, was that it was even stronger. ONE PILL of Effexor was all it took for him to go into a six month manic episode this time!

He became a Scotish Crown Prince overnight and walked the neighborhood in a Scottish kilt with a sword on his side and held business meetings on my roof as he had been roof as he had been renting a room from me. (Luckily for him there were not so many officers on these drugs at that point so he did not get shot for walking around like that.) As the mania went on it became apparent that he was going to have a heart attack if his glandular system did not slow down. So we decided to try to get Noni juice down him to balance his sugar levels, stop the seizure activity and therefore stop the manic episode. The Noni worked rapidly! He began sleeping again that first night and within two weeks he was normal again. Unfortunately he did not get the Noni before he appeared on a local TV station to pledge matching donations for their Three Tenor program they were having as a fund raiser! Of course the money for that was coming to him as soon as he was to be officially crowned at my home with the invited guests being all of the Utah government leaders and leaders of the LDS Church. And he personally invited Randall Carlisle, a TV reporter for channel 4 news in Salt Lake City. (Luckily for me none of them showed up at my front door for his coronation!!!)

Now that you have that background, this is where the Fentanyl comes in and one of the many reasons I warn to never use antidepressants and pain killers together. Several years after the last manic episode I got a call from friends who were renting my home while I was living out of state. They called to let me know that they were sure this same friend was having yet another manic episode. They were renting the upstairs and he was still in the downstairs apartment. They were right. When I spoke with him I learned he had been given Flexeril, another serotonergic pain killer similar to Fentanyl, for the fibromyalgia pains he had gotten from using Prozac for two years! Not given in a hospital setting where there could be monitoring as this report says should be the case with the administration of Fentanyl. Just as with Prince. He was not given this drug in a hospital setting only. He was out on his own as well. The serotonin toxicity they can produce can be deadly as we have seen with the death of Prince. And as we saw several years ago with the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s young son, Daniel, while he was sitting in a hospital visiting his new baby sister. Daniel too died of this same medication interaction.

But this is why it is so important to not use these pain killers together with antidepressants. And many antidepressants are given as pain killers like Tramadol often is. So be careful if you are taking various pain killers that they are not mixing one of those antidepressants with a drug like flexeril or fentanyl many are given antidepressants as pain killers for fibromyalgia. Cymbalta is another common antidepressant given for pain. Or they are given pain killers after they use antidepressants which produce fibromyalgia! All so ironic since fybromyalgia has long been known as a condition of ELEVATED serotonin! Fibromyalgia is a form of arthritis and arthritis is listed as a “frequent” side effect of antidepressants. Bottom line is that many patients are mixing these drugs and are not in a safe place at all doing so.

Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

Thursday morning a popular professor at UCLA was gunned down in a murder/suicide by Mainak Sarkar, an ex-PHD student who had apparently killed his wife in Minnesota first and then drove 2000 miles to kill this professor and another who was not on campus that day. I held off sending this out yesterday but today there are so many clues pointing to an antidepressant connection that I am sending it out and expect to hear he had been “treated” AKA drugged with these serotonergic drugs known to produce both suicide and homicide.

Clue #1: Killed a family member first and went on to kill more.

Clue #2: Drove 2000 miles to kill again. Reminds me of the Atlanta Day Trader, Mark Barton, who, on Prozac, killed his wife and two children at home and then drove to work to go on a shooting spree. (Not as far a drive, but we do have cases where they travel a long ways to commit these crimes.) In Mark Barton’s case I was on the verge of having an independent autopsy done when his mother, confused and still in shock over the loss of her family, changed her mind. So it was not until six months later we got answers when police finally released the info that they found Prozac pills scattered throughout the van he was driving. Was he taking more and more thinking it would stop him from doing what he was doing or was he mad that they did not work? I have always wondered why that was. (For additional info on that shooting go to www.SSRIstories.NET)

Clue #3: His wife was a medical student – another common thread is a family member in a medical or psychological/social profession.

Clue #4: Swollen face. The edema is clearly evident in his face…not just an overweight problem.

Clue #5: Holding a grudge for years focused on an individual and then killing randomly several people.

Clue #6: Wearing all black (a common thread in many of these antidepressant-induced suicides and murders).

Almost more frightening than the double murder – suicide though was the massive police presence in swat uniforms on campus holding guns on all the students! We desperately need to make sure as a society that those who are on these medications known to produce both murder and suicide are NOT in uniforms and carrying loaded guns!

Wife was a medical student: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621726/The-PhD-student-shot-UCLA-professor-dead-Indian-rubber-engineer-killed-thesis-supervisor-wouldn-t-let-graduate-committed-suicide.html

According to police, Sarkar had accused Klug of stealing his computer code and giving it to someone else. A source familiar with the relationship called the accusation “absolutely psychotic” and said that Klug had bent over backward to help Sarkar finish his dissertation and graduate.

Sarkar had struggled with severe mental problems, including depression and an inability to study, which compromised his work at UCLA, the source said.

(This statement also indicates the False allegations against those the patient initially felt close to and cared for.)

“A source familiar with Sarkar’s relationship with Klug told the Los Angeles Times that Sarkar’s accusation was “absolutely psychotic,” and added that Sarkar had “severe mental problems, including depression and an inability to study, which compromised his work at UCLA.”

“He did say prescription medication, possibly Valium or a similar sedative, was found in the St. Paul, Minnesota apartment where Sarkar had lived.”

Deadly Drugs – www.SSRIstories.NET

SSRIstories.NET is a database of the cases our group at the International Coalition for Drug Awareness has gathered over the past 2 1/2 decades, including nearly every school shooter and mass shooter in the country. The question remains in all of these cases as to the level of consciousness of the perpetrator – something that is never tested in the court cases and should be. (Tragically in this case that is no longer an option.) Testing is still back in the dark ages with blood levels of drugs rather than brain waves which will detect the level of consciousness and therefore culpability. These are drugs that accumulate in brain tissue at an alarming rate. Testing the blood tells us nothing about the level of toxicity.

EXCESS SEROTONIN PRODUCES EXTREME VIOLENCE

What so many were not aware of is that an increase in serotonin by an accompanying decrease in one’s ability to metabolize serotonin was long known to produce both impulsive murder and suicide. See this study out of the Southern California:

ANTIDEPRESSANTS PRODUCE SLEEP DISORDER KNOWN TO

INCLUDE BOTH MURDER AND SUICIDE

What the world remains unaware of is the fact is that 86% of those who are diagnosed with the most deadly sleep disorder known as REM Sleep Disorder (RBD) are currently taking antidepressants. REM Sleep Disorder is a condition in which there is no paralysis during sleep thus allowing the patient to act out the dreams or nightmares they are having. Tragically 80% of those going into this sleep disorder hurt themselves or others including both murder and suicide as a result.

This is possibly the most deadly of all reactions one can have to antidepressants. Even more frightening though is to learn that before the introduction of the SSRI antidepressants RBD was known mainly as a drug withdrawal effect. Thus the chances of going into this dangerous reaction should be expected to increase as one goes into withdrawal. This is why it is so important to avoid as much of the withdrawal effects as possible by tapering off the antidepressant very, very slowly. Feel free to join us on Facebook to learn more about this disorder on our Antidepressant-induced REM Sleep Disorder group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/106704639660883/

Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here:http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one atwww.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) atwww.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

“Something snapped. It wasn’t him anymore,” Garza’s father, also named Dionisio Garza, told KPRC. “I’m not making excuses. No excuses. I know he did this, but it wasn’t him anymore. My son was broken.”

Family members said he appeared to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Garza’s mother said the family was extremely tight and he was very “loving,” but his attitude toward life took a turn in the past couple of weeks as he became convinced that the world was ending.

“It appears to be someone who was in a mental health crisis,” officials added.

Officials should have added, “It appears to be someone who was in a <strong>VA-induced mental health crisis</strong>.” Few are drugged as heavily with antidepressants and other mind altering meds than our military. The next closest runner up for the mass medicating via our tax dollars would be foster children. Both situations are a blood stain on this nation with 22 suicides per day among our vets – most of whom are still in the age group of under 25 who have additional warnings for the use of these drugs producing suicide!!!

Dionisio Garza III before military

Read more in original article: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/gunman-houston-shooting-rampage-id-d-army-veteran-fired-212-n583466

Deadly Drugs – www.SSRIstories.NET

SSRIstories.NET is a database of the cases our group at the International Coalition for Drug Awareness has gathered over the past 2 1/2 decades, including nearly every school shooter and mass shooter in the country. The question remains in all of these cases as to the level of consciousness of the perpetrator – something that is never tested in the court cases and should be. (Tragically in this case that is no longer an option.) Testing is still back in the dark ages with blood levels of drugs rather than brain waves which will detect the level of consciousness and therefore culpability. These are drugs that accumulate in brain tissue at an alarming rate. Testing the blood tells us nothing about the level of toxicity.

EXCESS SEROTONIN PRODUCES EXTREME VIOLENCE

What so many were not aware of is that an increase in serotonin by an accompanying decrease in one’s ability to metabolize serotonin was long known to produce both impulsive murder and suicide. See this study out of the Southern California:

What the world remains unaware of is the fact is that 86% of those who are diagnosed with the most deadly sleep disorder known as REM Sleep Disorder (RBD) are currently taking antidepressants. REM Sleep Disorder is a condition in which there is no paralysis during sleep thus allowing the patient to act out the dreams or nightmares they are having. Tragically 80% of those going into this sleep disorder hurt themselves or others including both murder and suicide as a result.

This is possibly the most deadly of all reactions one can have to antidepressants. Even more frightening though is to learn that before the introduction of the SSRI antidepressants RBD was known mainly as a drug withdrawal effect. Thus the chances of going into this dangerous reaction should be expected to increase as one goes into withdrawal. This is why it is so important to avoid as much of the withdrawal effects as possible by tapering off the antidepressant very, very slowly. Feel free to join us on Facebook to learn more about this disorder on our Antidepressant-induced REM Sleep Disorder group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/106704639660883/

Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here:http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one atwww.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) atwww.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

My grandfather lost his life in a very slow and painful death after being used in World War I as a guinea pig for mustard gas poisoning. My father also served in World War II after raising his two brothers and caring for his widowed mother for years. By the time the Vietnam War came along the world was beginning to wake up to reality, but my father would not allow anything negative to be said against such a war.

So many now are aware of what was slowly happening to our country and this man did one heck of a job of telling it like it is….please try to ignore the slip or two of his tongue as he lays out where we now stand.

World War III – the Pharma War

As this man says recognizing the problem is what is most important in addressing it. It is way past time to begin recognizing it … my father died in World War III the same war that most everyone or everyone’s loved ones are dying in today – World War III the Pharma War!!! We were told upfront they intended to destroy us from within. Is this what they meant – one pill at a time? It certainly appears to be a big part of it. The death toll and damage is beyond belief!!!

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness

drugawareness.org & ssristories.NETAuthor: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

As I have reported from early on Obamacare was created for Pharma and coming straight from Michelle Obama’s mouth the following statement should make that very clear.

While reading keep in mind that this was the couple who were the ones to push the Mother’s Act to forcibly medicate pregnant women – a practice I fear may prove to create a nightmare FAR greater than anything we have seen to date from the widespread use of antidepressants. Keep in mind that the Mother’s Act was started because of a young mother, Melanie Stokes, married to a doctor, who committed suicide not long after birth. Of course she was on antidepressants among other serotonergic medications, but why worry about that little detail when you can use her death to say more pregnant women need to be medicated with the same drugs she was taking when she committed suicide?

Melanie Stokes and the Mother’s Act

See Melanie Stokes story here where Amy James has created a video for her:

From the article we read the propaganda with my comments to translate the article for you: “In fact, roughly one in five adults – more than 40 million Americans – suffer from a diagnosable mental health condition like depression or anxiety. These conditions affect people of every age and every background: our kids and grandparents, our friends and neighbors. [Always makes me think of the song from Westside Story: “Officer Krupke, you’re really a square; This boy don’t need a judge, he needs an analyst’s care! It’s just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He’s psychologicly disturbed! I’m disturbed! We’re disturbed, we’re disturbed, We’re the most disturbed, Like we’re psychologicly disturbed. ” If we believe we are all sick then they can make billions off of drugging us all! And the minute we take their drugs we will be sick if we did not have mental issues before!]

“Sadly, too often, the stigma around mental health prevents people who need help [in the form of drugs of course]from seeking it. But that simply doesn’t make any sense. Whether an illness affects your heart, your arm or your brain, it’s still an illness, and there shouldn’t be any distinction. We would never tell someone with a broken leg that they should stop wallowing and get it together. We don’t consider taking medication for an ear infection something to be ashamed of. We shouldn’t treat mental health conditions any differently. Instead, we should make it clear that getting help [keep in mind that “help” always comes in the form of drugs, no alternatives are offered] isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of strength – and we should ensure that people can get the treatment [keep in mind that “treatment” is also always translated as drug treatment] they need.

“That’s why the Affordable Care Act expanded mental health and substance use disorder benefits and parity protections for more than 60 million Americans and required new plans to cover depression screenings for adults and behavioral assessments for kids [These so called depression screenings are exactly how drug makers have recruited new patients for their drugs since the creation of these screenings which have been extensively in campus health centers to hook the vulnerable college kids as they leave home for the first time on their own].

“That’s also why my husband put more mental health counselors in place for veterans and signed a bill to help prevent veteran suicide.” [So we now have the funding of more drug pushers among our military personnel to peddle more of the meds they have lied to us about forever so that, even though we have warnings on them indicating a doubling of suicide in this age group, we will believe this is actually going to prevent suicide among vets!]

If you can stomach reading the rest the original article link is here:

drugawareness.org & ssristories.NETAuthor: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

Tributes have been pouring in for Sally Brampton – journalist, editor, author and mother who was the founding editor of ELLE magazine. She tragically died on Tuesday this week, after walking into the sea near her Sussex home. The following article is from the Telegraph in Australia which she wrote about her “depression” in 2003. The introduction to this article states that, “Her death followed a long period of intermittent but severe depression.”

I would correct that statement with this, “Her death followed a long period of interminttent but massive drugging, with drugs known to produce all she suffered including suicide – a long period of torture and suffering as a result of those drugs at the hands of her psychiatrists!!!”

She was noted for her statement: “We don’t kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive.” And by the time you finish reading this you will see her statement is clearly correct in her case! Obviously she had too good an insurance plan which continued to pay out for this torture which she endured for years!

She is also author of “Shoot the Damn Dog! A Memoir of Depression” …. too bad she remained unaware that the dog that needed to be shot was not depression, but the medication reactions she was led to believe were depression.

Allow me to quote a few statements from her article to prove my point…first this:

“…..I remember, a long time ago, reading that one in 10 people would suffer from a mental illness in their lives. I looked around the office in which I worked (there were 30 of us), and decided on who it would be. I was not on that list. And now, a new report maintains that one in four of us are at risk.”

Keep in mind that all of her statements are from a 2003 article she wrote about what she was going through which she was led to believe was her “depression.”

First she remembers hearing that one in ten would suffer from a mental illness while a recent report stated it had then jumped to one in four. The reason for that huge increase was of course the massive marketing of antidepressants which CAUSE depression, anxiety, suicide, hostility, violent crime, arson, substance abuse, psychosis, mania, organic brain disease (brain damage), autism, anorexia, Alzheimer’s, impulsive behavior with no concern for punishment, ect. via the impairment of serotonin metabolism.

INCREASE IN SEROTONIN IS THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SOLUTION!

Antidepressants were designed inhibit the reuptake of serotonin or in other words impair the metabolism of serotonin after the world became convinced via mass marketing that serotonin is low in depression, so there is a need to increase that level. When in fact serotonin is actually elevated in depression, and elevated in the long list of disorders mentioned above. What is low is the ability to metabolize serotonin – the exact thing that antidepressants are designed to impair thus worsening all of the above symptoms or causing them!!!!!! As the serotonin continues to be increased the problems become massive. Is it any wonder we now have research indicating antidepressants produce long-term depression?!! Long-term depression and so much more!

No wonder the Eli Lilly memo used in the wrongful death cases involving Prozac is so helpful when their own scientists came to their superiors to inform them that they had a serious problem because it appeared that Prozac was actually causing suicide, only to get the reply that the company could not afford to lose Prozac. So they were told to tell patients the suicide was the result of the “underlying depression” rather than the Prozac.

Here is a link to my testimony explaining all of that to the FDA Advisory Committee in September of 2004: http://www.drugawareness.org/dr-ann-blake-tracys-september-13-2004-to-the-fda/

So keep that thought about what serotonin has long been known to produce in mind as you read the rest of the quotes from Sally Brampton’s article along with my comments about the side effects of the medications she was having which should have been warning signs of impending more serious reactions…warning signs that could have and should have saved her life!!!

WRONGFUL DEATH FOR MASSIVE DRUGGING

“….Before I was admitted to hospital, I was taking a small dose of anti-depressants, prescribed by my GP. I had been to see her when my early morning waking began. My psychiatrist quadrupled the dose. Then doubled it. And doubled it again.”

My Comment: WITHOUT DOUBT THIS PSYCHIATRIST NEEDS TO BE SUED FOR WRONGFUL DEATH!!! If she quadrupled the dose of any antidepressant she went over the safe theraputic dose, but then she doubled it and doubled it yet again!!! She was literally poisioned! It is shocking that she was able to survive that but can you imagine the tourture it must have been in her mind when she was on drugs that produce all of the above in a regular dose, much less the impact that a dose eight times higher than that would produce?!!!

WARNINGS ON ABRUPT CHANGES IN DOSE

When the FDA put the Black Box Warning on the suicidal ideation increase for antidepressants into effect in 2004 they also warned that any abrupt change in dose of an antidepressant whether starting on, increasing or decreasing or discontinuing the drug, skipping doses by forgetting, or when switching from one antidepressant to another where you are both abruptly decreasing one antidepressant and abruptly increasing the new antidepressant can cause suicide, hostility or psychosis. Withdrawal, especially abrupt withdrawal, from any of these medicatioins can cause severe neuropsychiatric as well as physical symptoms, both of which can be life threatening. So it is amazing she was able to survive that, but what damage must it have done to set her up for serious issues involving all of the effects of elevated serotonin for years to come?

INABILITY TO READ DUE TO MEMORY IMPAIRMENT

“….Reading has always been my greatest joy and most constant pleasure. I have devoured books whole for as long as I can remember. I recall people having to shake me to get my attention when I was reading, remember my taking a book out of my hands and sending me out to play with the injunction to get some fresh air.

“When I was severely depressed, I could not even get to the end of a simple sentence because I could not remember the beginning. ”

My Comment: So why did no one tell her what a common side effect this inability to read due to being unable to remember is to antidepressants? I cannot even count the number of times I have heard this reported to me over the past 2 1/2 decades! I hear it so often that I complete the sentence for them as they begin it!

….Even the medical profession finds depression difficult to define or to explain. It is a word of such common currency that it has ceased to have meaning. After months of medication and therapy and two stays in psychiatric units, my psychiatrist admitted that he was stumped. I have something known as resistant depression. In other words, it resists all attempts to alleviate it.

TOXIC COCKTAIL – 1300 MGS OF ANTIDEPRESSANTS!!!

“We had tried five medications, and two combinations of others. I felt like I was in a sweet shop. Let’s try some of the blue ones. No good? Well, how about some blue with some pink? Or how about a few of the yellow?

“At one point, I was taking 1,300 milligrams of anti-depressants a day, on top of tranquillisers and sleeping pills. Somebody diagnosed with mild depression by their GP will probably be taking 20 to 50 mg a day.

My Comment: If this was the same psychiatrist that took her up to the 1300mg of an antidepressant he too needs to be added as a defendant in the wrongful death suit! I am so sick of seeing so many senseless deaths all because they do not or refuse to research more about these drugs they hand out, as she pointed out above, like they are candy when they can produce such deadly reactions!

THE BLOOD SUGAR CONNECTION

.”…..In my twenties, I had bouts of darkness, but they were brief and I shrugged them off fast enough. There is also a history of depression in my family (my brother suffered terribly in his teens). And while depression is not thought to be genetic, it does seem that if there is a familial predisposition, you are more at risk.
“My illness started with early morning waking – a classic symptom. At the time, I thought my head was too filled with thought to be still, just as I thought my diminishing appetite had some other cause.”

My Comment: What she is describing as the early waking and familial presdiposition to depression is generally hypoglycemia which has all the signs and symptoms of what we call “depression”. The weak pancreas can run through families. Also when the blood sugar drops in the middle of the night when we are not eating to keep it up, the mind can race as adrenalin kicks in to normalize the sugar levels. Anorexia is also a symptom of hypoglycemia.

.”….There was a physical reason, too. During my first stay in a psychiatric unit, where my condition was diagnosed, I learnt that I have an under-active thyroid. The thyroid, once known as the gland of the emotions, requires careful handling. A little too much thyroxin, a little too little – both have a huge impact on the balance of the mind. It is thought that up to 30 per cent of women in psychiatric units (low function is more common in females) suffer from an under-active thyroid”

My Comment: She should have been told that hypothyroidism is a very common after effect of antidepressants. Perhaps hers was low before, but after taking antidepressants it could worsen.

ANTIDEPRESSANT-INDUCED CRAVINGS FOR ALCOHOL

— I drank too much alcohol. Not for the taste of it, but to blank out the restless terror, the terrible, impending sense of doom, the tears that saturated each and every day. Alcohol is in itself a depressant. I knew that. I also knew that it was the most effective anaesthetic I could find.”

My Comment: Once again there was no warning of what I first saw with antidepressants – the cravings for alcohol, the increased drinking, which can also be linked to the hypoglycemia antidepressants produce.

See our Facebook group: Antidepressant-Induced Cravings For Alcohol:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688062138113514/

CONSTRICTION OF MUSCLE TISSUE, TMJ

“….. I developed terrible pains in my face. It took me a long time (and a dentist) to realise it was because I kept my jaw clamped tight. I was gritting my teeth to get through the days.”

My Comment: The main function of serotonin is constriction of muscle tissue. Massage therapists have long told me they know the minute they touch a patient if they have been on antidepressants because their backs are full of knots from their muscles contracting. Patients have long reported the TMJ she is describing here as a reaction to their antidepressants.

So my point is that had anyone admitted to her that any of these reactions were the result of taking the antidepressant, and not a symptom of her “depression”, she may still be alive today instead of her family preparing her funeral. I am so sick and tired of seeing such senseless suffering and death all for greed!!! (See the original article below for additional detail.)

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness

drugawareness.org & ssristories.NETAuthor: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

Tributes have been pouring in for Sally Brampton – journalist, editor, author and mother – who tragically died on Tuesday this week, after walking into the sea near her Sussex home. Her death followed a long period of intermittent but severe depression.

Here, her former colleague and friend Sali Hughes, reintroduces the groundbreaking article on her illness that she wrote for The Telegraph in 2003.

“Though the exact circumstances of her death remain unclear, what is certain is that we diverse sufferers of mental ill health have lost one of our greatest and most articulate advocates.

When Brampton, a celebrated editor of glossy magazines (she launched British ELLE, regarded by many as the magazine of the Eighties, and the reason I so desperately wanted to become a journalist), first fell foul of severe depression, her explicit writing took us on the journey with her.

She was admirably unkeen on words like “brave” – to her, sufferers of depression were not inherently “strong”, not necessarily “fighters”, but normal people attempting to live with a very difficult illness; much like someone with diabetes or pneumonia.

She was equally ?avoiding o?f? mystique, much more interested in being helpful and authentic. “I always think how odd it is that the word honest has come to mean being brave rather than truthful and sincere,” she wrote on her mental health-focused blog, sallybrampton.co.uk.

And yet to very many readers, her insistence on discussing an issue affecting a quarter of all people during their lifetimes – and one which, if made public, can jeopardise one’s career prospects or family life – was an act of defiant bravery that gave them the tools and the confidence to adopt a similarly honest stance.

She wrote better than almost anyone on emotional wellbeing, long before most of us felt able. Her responses to reader problems as a broadsheet agony aunt were never head-patting nor pitying, while her long running column in Psychologies magazine was warm, matter of fact and wise in a world of wishy-washy wellness and chakra aligning.

She described her writing as a form of therapy and had written, as recently as March, of her great happiness in moving from London to St Leonards-on-Sea, and the benefits of sea air, blue skies and barbecues on the beach – without ever pretending she was free from the condition that had either blighted or killed several generations of her family.

No one described the horrific, often debilitating condition of depression so gently, accurately nor more succinctly.

This, written for The Telegraph in 2003, sums up her extraordinary ability to untangle the condition of depression, and will continue to help many sufferers – myself included – feel better understood, and significantly less alone.”

I told myself: ‘Get over yourself. Stop snivelling. Stop whining…’
‘Exactly one year ago today, I tried to kill myself. Fortunately (or unfortunately, as I felt at the time), I am blessed with an iron constitution. At 3.20am, I woke up. Through some sick irony (who says the heavens don’t have a sense of humour?), it was the same time, to the minute, that I had been waking for a year before I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression.

I woke up because I was desperate for a pee. I got out of bed. My legs buckled beneath me. I could not crawl, let alone walk. Nor could I, at first, think why. What had happened to me? Then I remembered. I had tried to kill myself. I had taken pills washed down with neat vodka. Some shred of forgotten dignity kicked into place. Refusing to die in my own urine, I dragged myself along the corridor on my arms, my legs useless behind me. I don’t know how long it took, but it seemed an eternity.

Soon after, I blacked out, then drifted in and out of consciousness for 24 hours. I didn’t call the emergency services. I was too ashamed. It was my final humiliation. I had sunk too low even to stay alive for my much loved and cherished daughter, who, when I was very ill, stuck notes above my bed.

One said: “Dear Angels, Please give my mummy all the love and happiness she deserves.”

She was not with me when I took those pills. She was with her father. Even in my blackest moment, I had that much sense. I also had the sense to know that nobody would find me for three days. In that way, I could have been said to have planned it, but in no other. I left no note, put none of my affairs in order.

I remember little of the days before, other than an engulfing darkness. It was not so much that I wanted to die. I just couldn’t bear to be in that place any more.

For me, depression was a place – is still a place with which I now have (mercifully brief) encounters. The landscape is cold and black and empty. It is more terrifying and more horrible than anywhere I have ever been, even in my nightmares.

It is an abyss, a black hole, a place where nothing thrives, where sound is muffled so as to be unintelligible, where vision is dimmed until it is like seeing through clouded glass.

The more I tried to escape, the harder it held me. I could not understand it. I could not recognise myself. People asked: how are you? I did not know. Who is me? I did not have a self to be. I felt nothing.

And eventually, I became nothing.

When, finally, in the January of 2001, I ended up in front of a psychiatrist, unable to stop crying, unable to function, wanting only to be dead, he said to me that I obviously had a high IQ. Obviously? This pathetic, shivering, crying creature? This person I no longer recognised, let alone understood? My IQ, he persisted, would be down at least 30 points.

“Depression,” he said, “literally depresses every cognitive process.” Which is why, when you are in its grip, you can’t concentrate and certainly can’t think clearly enough to find your way out of it.

Reading has always been my greatest joy and most constant pleasure. I have devoured books whole for as long as I can remember. I recall people having to shake me to get my attention when I was reading, remember my mother taking a book out of my hands and sending me out to play with the injunction to get some fresh air.

When I was severely depressed, I could not even get to the end of a simple sentence because I could not remember the beginning. Words, which I love, were no more than patterns on a page. Writing was nearly impossible. I tried to convince myself that I could still write, and set myself the task of keeping a journal of my days. Looking back, I see it is no more than fragments.

In my world, there is no colour. The sky is not blue, the trees are not green. Instead, everything is in shades of grey
One of the fragments is this: It is a beautiful day. I stand on my balcony, high above a busy street, watching life pass me by. It is spring, a time of renewal, of new beginnings. I reach my hand out to the morning, try to imagine happiness, the simple pleasure of skin warmed by sunshine, the quiet joy of trees bursting into green leaf.

I feel nothing.

In my world, there is no colour. The sky is not blue, the trees are not green, the brick of the buildings is not red. Instead, everything is in shades of grey, a flat dull monotone. I exist in a parallel universe. In despair, I turn away, draw the curtains, climb back into my crumpled bed and cry.

I do not know what it is I am crying for. Some days, I cry for three hours, five hours. Some days, I never stop. They are not tears that bring relief. They are tears without beginning or end, just as my days and nights are without beginning or end.

Even the medical profession finds depression difficult to define or to explain. It is a word of such common currency that it has ceased to have meaning. After months of medication and therapy and two stays in psychiatric units, my psychiatrist admitted that he was stumped. I have something known as resistant depression. In other words, it resists all attempts to alleviate it.

We had tried five medications, and two combinations of others. I felt like I was in a sweet shop. Let’s try some of the blue ones. No good? Well, how about some blue with some pink? Or how about a few of the yellow?

At one point, I was taking 1,300 milligrams of anti-depressants a day, on top of tranquillisers and sleeping pills. Somebody diagnosed with mild depression by their GP will probably be taking 20 to 50 mg a day.

Nothing worked. I shook so badly that I could not walk down the street without holding on to walls or railings. Crossing the road was terrifying. So was going down a Tube escalator. I clung on to the handrail, convinced that I would fall. I could not believe this was happening to me – me, who used to run up and down escalators without a moment’s thought.

My tongue was coated a deep dark brown from the levels of toxins I daily ingested. And the tears kept coming. It was as if I held within me a bottomless pit of grief.

A friend who had recently survived cancer said that at least some physical force was not invading my body. But I was invaded. I was subsumed. I was laid waste. I did not say so at the time. Illness has no room for competition. But I got so bad that, at one time, we seriously considered electro-convulsive therapy. I said that it seemed to me that we weren’t much further along than Bedlam and leeches. My psychiatrist said that at least we knew what leeches did.

This was eight months after that bleak January day, when I admitted I could no longer function. Back then, and it seems like two lifetimes ago, I thought that if I went into hospital, I would become well. I thought a pill could make me better. I thought that I could cure myself. I was angry, furious, that I could not.

Right at the beginning, my psychiatrist said to me: “If you had pneumonia, would you try to cure yourself?” No.

He shrugged. “So why do you think you can cure your own depression?”

Why? Because I thought I had control over my own mind. It took a year of waking at 3.20 into the black hell that my life had become, my head filled only with a longing to be dead, to understand that clinical depression (also known as severe or suicidal) has its own pathology. It demands urgent attention and, often, hospitalisation. It requires understanding and what, to those around us, must seem like limitless patience. It is terrible to be around and horrible to watch.

‘It is impossible to explain to others who have not had it how powerless we are over it, how much we do not want to be sick’
‘It is impossible to explain to others who have not had it how powerless we are over it, how much we do not want to be sick’
It looks, from the outside, like a case of massive self-absorption. It is impossible to explain to others who have not had it how powerless we are over it, how much we do not want to be sick.

Here is another fragment from that lost time.

A friend telephones to ask how I am. The sun is shining. The sky is a merciless blue. It is only 11 in the morning but I have been awake since 3.20. Now I am back in bed but only because I can think of nowhere else to go. I say that I am feeling low. Low is the depressive’s euphemism for despair, for the enveloping blackness at the bottom of the pit.

She says: “How can you be depressed on a day like this?” I want to say: “If I had flu, would you ask me how I could be sick on a day like this?” I say nothing. She means well. There are no words to explain my despair, the depth of my grief.

I cannot explain it myself.

People send me cards. The images on the front are inoffensive drawings of flowers or bland, abstract art. Inside, they write that they are sorry to hear that I’ve been unwell. That they have always thought of me as, “such a strong person”. My sickness has a moral tone. I am reduced, made feeble. I think, well there is some truth in that. I am a shadow of the self I used to be.

When I was younger, I thought I would be the last person to be affected by depression. I was strong, I was confident; I was filled with hope. I was also absurdly successful when I was absurdly young. Looking back, it seems to me that success was my barrier and my shield. Nobody could touch me.

But I can see, looking back, the flaws that seamed my soul. In my twenties, I had bouts of darkness, but they were brief and I shrugged them off fast enough. There is also a history of depression in my family (my brother suffered terribly in his teens). And while depression is not thought to be genetic, it does seem that if there is a familial predisposition, you are more at risk.

My illness started with early morning waking – a classic symptom. At the time, I thought my head was too filled with thought to be still, just as I thought my diminishing appetite had some other cause. Like being too busy, too tired, too strung out. Food looked appallingly real. I could not swallow, could not force it past the lump in my throat.

I grew thin. Everybody told me how fabulous I looked. I smiled and said thank you, and wondered who this stranger was who inhabited my skinny Earl jeans.

I had reason to be sad. There was the break-up of a marriage, a move into a soulless rented flat, the absence on some days of my beloved child, a job that went brutally, terminally sour. Reasons enough, but not the reason. Other people cope with such human tragedies daily. Other people do not fall down. I collapsed like a pack of cards.

The first blow left me reeling, but still standing. So did the second, and the third. It was the combination that found those fatal, earlier flaws and blew me apart like a seismic explosion.

What was once a reactive depression (depression caused by a reaction to life events) turned clinical. Nobody understands why, but once severe depression has hooked into your being, it is incredibly difficult to loosen its claws. There was a physical reason, too. During my first stay in a psychiatric unit, where my condition was diagnosed, I learnt that I have an under-active thyroid. The thyroid, once known as the gland of the emotions, requires careful handling. A little too much thyroxin, a little too little – both have a huge impact on the balance of the mind. It is thought that up to 30 per cent of women in psychiatric units (low function is more common in females) suffer from an under-active thyroid.

Anti-depressants do not induce euphoria. They simply reduce acute symptoms from unbearable misery to manageable sadness
There are, as my psychiatrist told me, no miracle cures for depression. Before I was admitted to hospital, I was taking a small dose of anti-depressants, prescribed by my GP. I had been to see her when my early morning waking began. My psychiatrist quadrupled the dose. Then doubled it. And doubled it again.

The side effects were horrible. I gained more than a stone in six weeks. My vision was blurred; I became dizzy if I stood too quickly; my hands shook so badly I could not carry a cup of tea without spilling it. Other side effects were constipation and acne.

So much for happy pills.

Anti-depressants do not, as most people seem to assume, induce euphoria. They simply reduce acute symptoms from unbearable misery to manageable sadness. They are useful but not a universal panacea.

By then, I knew that I had to help myself. I tried everything I could think of. Exercise is useful in alleviating depression. I forced myself out of my flat every morning, went running in the park, no matter what the weather. I wore dark glasses to hide the tears that streamed down my face.

Yoga is good, as are acupuncture and massage. I took up all three. Bananas are said to be a good mood food: they activate tryptophan. I swirled them together with milk and honey, gulped my daily morning drink like medicine.

I had twice-weekly sessions of intensive psychotherapy. In the course of my illness, I saw four psychotherapists and sacked every one – not because they were bad, but because I loathed the process. All I talked about was me. Me, me, me. It bored me literally out of my mind. While one part of me talked, the other mocked. Get over yourself, it said. Stop snivelling. Stop complaining. Stop whining.

Still the mist came rolling in, grey and leaden as rain clouds.

I drank too much alcohol. Not for the taste of it, but to blank out the restless terror, the terrible, impending sense of doom, the tears that saturated each and every day. Alcohol is in itself a depressant. I knew that. I also knew that it was the most effective anaesthetic I could find.

I took yet more pills, more medication for my joyless soul. They did nothing. I felt, if that was possible, worse. I was admitted to hospital again. I sat in group therapy, listening to other people’s pain. I felt I had no right to be there. I had no reason to be sad.

Everybody else, without exception, feels that way, too. Other people have problems. Other people are worse off. Other people do not weaken. They bend, but they do not snap. Not in the way that we have done. We are guilty – of indulgence, weakness, self-pity.

It took me two stays in hospital and two long years living with severe depression to come to understand it as an illness. Some of us never see it that way. Some of us are never allowed to. Some of us suffer in terrible silence, too ashamed, too filled with self-loathing, too afraid to admit to what society sees as a weakness.

Some of us kill ourselves. The fatality rate is 15 per cent.

We’ve heard it all. From friends, from family, from meaningless strangers. But, mostly, from ourselves.

Pull yourself together.

It’s not that bad.

Get over yourself.

Get a life.

I did not, could not, blame anybody who offered me such advice. It was no more than I told myself daily, even hourly. I developed terrible pains in my face. It took me a long time (and a dentist) to realise it was because I kept my jaw clamped tight. I was gritting my teeth to get through the days.

‘Some of us suffer in terrible silence’
‘Some of us suffer in terrible silence’
Only once did I answer back, when the day was ebony black. It was a bloke on a building site, just trying to be cheery, just being normal.

He called out: “Cheer up love, it might never happen.”

I turned on him and I said: “Well, it f—ing well has happened. And what are you going to do about it?”

I might just as well have hit him, so great was the recoil. He was 6 ft tall and built like a s—house. He held up his hands beseechingly and he blushed. He said nothing. Nor did I. I was trying too hard not to cry. Tears are not welcome in public.

There were men like him in the hospital. One was a cab driver, huge and burly. He looked like a hard man but he cried like a baby. “I don’t understand,” was all he said as tears fell, unchecked, down his face.

The group murmured in assent. Nor did we.

Nor do we. And there’s the catch.

I remember, a long time ago, reading that one in 10 people would suffer from a mental illness in their lives. I looked around the office in which I worked (there were 30 of us), and decided on who it would be. I was not on that list. And now, a new report maintains that one in four of us are at risk.

The physical symptoms of severe depression are as wide-ranging as they are confounding. There’s a terrible leaden weariness, which is often followed by acute restlessness, palpitations and sweating. My particular physical symptom was a constriction of the throat. It felt as if I had some huge growth behind my tonsils, which, at times, became so severe I could not swallow and I feared I could no longer breathe.

It has a name, globus hystericus, given it, unsurprisingly, by Freud. I called it the throat monster, imagined it as a claw that sank itself into my neck. It had no body, just a massive scaly tail that wound around my neck and throttled me.

What astonished me then, and is something that nobody ever mentions, is the alarmingly physical nature of depression. It is not simply the mind, but the body that is affected. Both go dreadfully out of control which is why, at its most acute stage, severe depression manifests itself as a nervous breakdown.

Time, medication and therapy will eventually show their benefits, and while there is no empirical evidence to prove this, it is said that the average cycle of depression lasts for two years. For some people, it never improves; their condition remains chronic. For others, it may be quicker but for most of us the light returns slowly but steadily, although the chance of a relapse is horribly real.

I began to emerge from the illness last summer. My recovery came in fits and starts. To begin with, I dared not even admit I felt happy, in case the sensation was snatched away. But I do feel happy – not all of the time, but at least some of it. I realise I do still have the capacity for joy. I look back at myself, at those years, in horror and sadness. It is as if I lost two years of my life.

I still get occasional black days, when the terror and hopelessness crowd everything from my mind and close down the world until it stops. On days like that, if my daughter is not with me, I go to bed. In that state, I would not wish myself on anybody.

I simply take the phone off the hook and hide. I keep a writing pad beside me, scribble down anything that comes to mind. It is my therapy and my cure. The other day, I looked at my scribbles and saw that I had written: “I find it very difficult to stay alive.”

Difficult, but possible. These days, I take things day by day. Some days are bad, but most are good.

I am halfway through a new novel (my fifth), working on a screenplay and writing journalism. The joy of being able to write again is indescribable. I am making my way steadily through a large pile of books by my bed – all the novels I was unable to read when I was ill.

My daughter, who is 11 now, sings from morning to night, like a happy, carefree lark. She has no hesitation in nailing depression as the illness it is: “Mummy was sick but now she’s better.”

But what pleases me most is that, for one whole year, I have not wanted to die. It sounds absurd but every morning, when I wake up, I feel proud.

I am still here.’

Anyone who needs information and/or support can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org

On and off antidepressants for six years (the worst way to take antidepressants) this father demonstrates a perfect example of both the homicidal ideation and suicidal ideation associated with the use of antidepressants. Homicidal and suicidal ideations are not just thoughts or actions involving homicide or suicide, but obsessive and compulsive ruminating thoughts of killing others or oneself.

This man made 10 trial runs. And he was so determined to die and have his family die with him that he planted bombs in the car as a back up to insure that. Daren and his wife Susanna and their unborn child died instantly. Liam died after paramedics worked on him at the scene. Little Benjamin was the only one to survive the crash. But he had such serious injuries he had to be put in a drug-induced coma for a period of time.

What We Know About Serotonin’s Connection to Violence

From my September 13, 2004 testimony before the FDA: http://www.drugawareness.org/dr-ann-blake-tracys-september-13-2004-to-the-fda/

“Research on serotonin has been clear from the very beginning that the most damaging thing that could be done to the serotonin system would be to impair one?s ability to metabolize serotonin. Yet that is exactly how SSRI antidepressants exert their effects.

“How anyone ever thought it would be “therapeutic” to chemically induce these reactions is beyond me. Yet, these reactions are exactly what we have witnessed in our society over the past decade and a half as a result of the widespread use of these drugs.

“In fact we even have a whole new vocabulary as a result with terms such as “road rage,” “suicide by cop,” “murder/suicide,” “going postal,” “false memory syndrome,” “school shooting,” “bi-polar” – every third person you meet anymore – along with the skyrocketing rates of antidepressant-induced diabetes and hypoglycemia.

“Can you remember two decades ago when depressed people used to slip away quietly to kill themselves rather than killing everyone around them and then themselves as they do while taking SSRI antidepressants?

“A study out of the University of Southern California in 1996 looked at a group of mutant mice in an experiment that had gone terribly wrong. These genetically engineered mice were the most violent creatures they had ever witnessed. They were born lacking the MAO-A enzyme which metabolizes serotonin. As a result their brains were awash in serotonin. This excess serotonin is what the researchers determined was the cause for this extreme violence. Antidepressants produce the same end result as they inhibit the metabolism of serotonin.”

There is an inquest report in the article below and several additional articles listed below that for more information on this tragic case.

“The inquest at Wyong Local Court also heard that Mr Milne had been diagnosed with “some kind of depression or ADD” in 2007 and had intermittently taken medication since then.

“The inquest also revealed that the Ausgrid engineer had meticulously planned the murder-suicide, made a check-list of things to do, and conducted up to 10 practice runs before finally wrapping the family car around a tree.”

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness

drugawareness.org & ssristories.NETAuthor: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/ And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships in the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. For only a $30 membership for one month you can even get 30 days of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS access to my book on antidepressants (500 plus pages) with more information than you will find anywhere else (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

Read more at

Engineer who killed wife and son in murder suicide car crash also planted bombs in car

A suicidal man being treated for depression for some time, Arthur Darosa, 28, was taken to a hospital on Monday. And when he visited the hospital on Monday what did they do? Take him off his antidepressant? Increase his dose of his antidepressant? Add another medication to what he was taking?

The FDA has warned that any abrupt change in dose of an antidepressant can cause suicide, hostility and/or psychosis. Once again it appears we have seen all three of those in yet another tragedy.

Upon release Tuesday he went on a stabbing spree first breaking into a home stealing a knife from their kitchen and attacking a mother and daughter there. He then crashed a car into the mall and went on a stabbing spree there killing a total of two and injuring two before being shot and killed himself by an off duty officer. See links to original articles below…

What We Know About Serotonin’s Connection to Violence

From my September 13, 2004 testimony before the FDA: http://www.drugawareness.org/dr-ann-blake-tracys-september-13-2004-to-the-fda/

“Research on serotonin has been clear from the very beginning that the most damaging thing that could be done to the serotonin system would be to impair one?s ability to metabolize serotonin. Yet that is exactly how SSRI antidepressants exert their effects.

“How anyone ever thought it would be “therapeutic” to chemically induce these reactions is beyond me. Yet, these reactions are exactly what we have witnessed in our society over the past decade and a half as a result of the widespread use of these drugs.

“In fact we even have a whole new vocabulary as a result with terms such as “road rage,” “suicide by cop,” “murder/suicide,” “going postal,” “false memory syndrome,” “school shooting,” “bi-polar” – every third person you meet anymore – along with the skyrocketing rates of antidepressant-induced diabetes and hypoglycemia.

“Can you remember two decades ago when depressed people used to slip away quietly to kill themselves rather than killing everyone around them and then themselves as they do while taking SSRI antidepressants?

“A study out of the University of Southern California in 1996 looked at a group of mutant mice in an experiment that had gone terribly wrong. These genetically engineered mice were the most violent creatures they had ever witnessed. They were born lacking the MAO-A enzyme which metabolizes serotonin. As a result their brains were awash in serotonin. This excess serotonin is what the researchers determined was the cause for this extreme violence. Antidepressants produce the same end result as they inhibit the metabolism of serotonin.”

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