2016 “on seriously fucked up shit” reveal friends…

After exceptionally bizarre, mad and unthinkable calamities have become commonplace in recent months, it has been revealed that the year 2016 is on a lethal concoction of drugs and hasn’t a clue what it is doing.

Its friends 2015 and 2017 keep trying to convince it to calm down and drink some water, but when they aren’t looking it goes and starts a coup or kills of a lovable celebrity.

“It can’t be stopped,” claimed 2013, “off its tits on all manner of madnesses, we have tried everything and it just wont stop doing fucking mental shit. All we can do is apologise and say 2016 is not normally like this and when it sobers up it will feel really bad for everything it has done.”

2017 added, “For now, we recommend you hold your loved ones close and just try to stay calm, not that there is much to be calm about, but you know try….”