Tuesday, July 31, 2007

By all accounts, Senator Trent Lott is a chastened man, broken, bitchsmacked, woozy-kneed, and -- thusly -- permanently affixed to the task of erasing his shameful legacy with regards to African-Americans (For further refrence, see: Time Magazine: Trent's Segregationist Days). After losing the Senate Majority leadership position, he spent much time in his native Mississippi, doing the work of his African-American constituents in particular. African-Americans are, if anything, politically savvy enough about our interests to know that a chastened Lott in the Senate leadership with something to prove is better than another Southern, conservative Republican member in the slot with no electoral accountings to African-Americans whatsoever.

And the pro-Lott sentiment extends beyond African-Americans. Lott was, if extraordinarily clumsy in his speeches to aging, drooling, senile Dixicrats, a very effective Senate leader. After the breathtaking incompetence of Bill Frist -- all resume, zero legislative skills -- Republicans are nostalgic after the days when Lott ran the shop. From TheHill:

"Six months after his improbable return to the Senate Republican leadership, Minority Whip Trent Lott (R-Miss.) has raised about $1.5 million for his leadership political action committee (PAC), more than 12 times the sum raised by Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.).

"Lott has also raised far more than Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and the highest-ranking Republican and Democratic leaders in the House.

"But it is Lott’s outdistancing of McConnell that will catch the eye of Senate observers watching their behind-the-scenes rivalry. Although officially neutral in last year’s leadership race, McConnell is widely thought to have backed Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) rather than Lott to become whip.

"Lott’s victory capped a remarkable comeback."

Corsair Prediction: Trent Lott will be Minority leader within 2 years. Whether or not we like him (We don't), he will use his powers to erase some of his shameful past.

Cracklove is tight! The sinister curls of medicinal-smelling cracksmoke have cleared leaving Pete Doherty desperately alone and Kate Moss back in the embrace of the jetset. As it should be. Pete Doherty not willing to let well-enough alone is, to our immense amusement, trying to regain the heart of Kate Moss (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Like that's going to happen. Who would want to return to a long, moist, dark night of the crack-soul scenario?

Never mind the inconvenient fact that she has moved on far enough that she refers to him as "The Slug." From Thisislondon:

"Troubled rocker Pete Doherty has issued a desperate public plea to win back his ex fiancée Kate Moss.

"The Babyshambles frontman says he has been largely frozen out by the supermodel, who has so far refused to see him since reports of his alleged infidelity emerged.

"He said: 'I can't get hold of her any other way. I need Kate to know that I still love her. She has broken my heart.'

"The recovering heroin addict labelled the model a 'nasty old rag' who 'kicked me in the head' in the account of their tempestuous on-off relationship, but insists that he can't live without her."

"“Welcome to the club of mad people and mad things but people who believe in what they do,” said a microphone-wielding Diane von Furstenberg as she balanced herself in her stilettos while propped up on a cushion on the second floor of her Meatpacking District studio ... Reed Krakoff, who hosted the new members bash in 2003 at his Upper East Side townhouse, also recalled a memorable experience. 'That was the year Puffy was inducted and we had so much security present,' he said. 'He had guys with guns come that I wouldn’t let into the house.'" (*Fashionweekdaily)

"I'm no foreign policy expert, just a humble teacher of college journalists, but I knew a WMD marketing ploy when I saw one. I recognized that Saddam Hussein was a two-bit thug like Charles Taylor of Liberia, not Osama bin Laden. And without a day in the United States -- or even the Illinois state -- Senate and having never attended a single World Affairs Council luncheon, I had read enough about the tribal culture of the Arab world to understand we couldn't spread individual-liberty-loving pluralistic democracy in a state where Islamists demand a rigid theocracy. So why didn't a woman with all of that self-proclaimed international affairs wisdom know enough not to vote for this war? And why can't she bring herself to say she was wrong?" (Politico)

"'The girls have come out with their shopping 'A' games today,' declared Kelly Ripa, co-host of the Super Saturday designer garage sale in the Hamptons hamlet of Water Mill .. But that was just the cocktail hour of the arts center's 'wild chic' benefit. As dinner began, attendees were treated to the sight of Dita Von Teese suspended on a high swing at the center of the tent. Perhaps as an incentive to get the gawkers to sit down and be silent, the host promised that one guest would win a kiss from Von Teese in the live auction. 'I usually give them away for free, so I wonder how much a single one might be worth,' mulled Von Teese. Quite a lot, as it turned out. The smooch fetched $100,000. (It also came with a Robert Wilson plasma portrait of the burlesque diva.)" (Style)

"The state polling, as usual, has been all over the map, so don't read too much into it. But ARG has a couple of interesting ones out today: Obama tied with Hillary in New Hampshire, and up for the first time (according to ARG) in South Carolina." (BenSmith)

"In July 2001, long before Pitt started making babies with Angelina Jolie and poor Jen found herself dating sketchy British models, the couple paid a reported $13.1 million for a big Wallace Neff-designed house in Beverly Hills. Pitt, a wannabe architect and design aficionado, spent the next couple of years and many millions of dollars redesigning the nine-bedroom, eight-bathroom house with truckloads of pedigreed and, apparently, not very cozy furniture. (In a Vanity Fair article after the couple's separation, Aniston was asked what she was looking forward to in her single life and she responded, 'A comfortable couch.' ) The couple first put the house on the market at $28 million, but later it was reduced to $24.95 million before an anonymous foreign businessman came along and paid a reported $22.5 million for the privilege of living in a home once occupied by Hollywood royalty." (RadarOnline)

"Despite how long Mr. Murdoch has wanted The Journal, he may not have a set playbook, according to interviews and more recent conversations with several people in Mr. Murdoch’s camp, who spoke on the condition they not be identified. 'There’s a very low probability that there’s a grand plan,' said one person close to Mr. Murdoch. But based on his history, there is little doubt that Mr. Murdoch will directly aim at luring both readers and advertising away from The New York Times and The Financial Times, The Journal’s closest rivals." (NYTimes)

Monday, July 30, 2007

Media-Whore's D'Oevres

"The morass in Iraq and deepening difficulties in Afghanistan have not deterred the Bush administration from taking on a dangerous and questionable new secret operation. At a high level, U.S. officials are working with their Turkish counterparts on a joint military operation to suppress Kurdish guerrillas and capture their leaders. Through covert activity, their goal is to forestall Turkey from invading Iraq." (Novak)

"As TMZ first reported, Laura Wasser, Brit's lawyer, and K-Fed's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, appeared in Court this morning with settlement papers. Wasser made a motion to keep the custody and child support provisions secret, on grounds that making it public would be harmful to the two kids. Judge Gordon granted that request, pending a hearing on August 14." (TMZ)

"There goes the neighborhood. Sarah Jessica Parker, who escapes the frenzy of the city on the weekends for the Bridgehampton cottage she shares with Matthew Broderick and their son James Wilke, had a bit of the urban jungle follow her out East over the weekend. The actress and designer, who’s set to start filming the movie version of Sex and the City this September and who recently launched her Bitten clothing line, was one of an exclusive group of friends invited to the Further Lane estate of Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld Saturday night for the latter’s 2nd-annual Baby Buggy dinner." (Fashionweekdaily)

"Village Voice columnist and self-proclaimed 'recovering TV-soundbyte whore' Michael Musto took a break from his exhaustive media schedule this weekend of commenting on cable on the Britney-Lohan scandals to catch up with FishbowlNY's Five Questions" (Ron Mwangaguhunga on FishBowlNY)

"... The Four Seasons Grill Room. Earlier this week, at first I was the only woman in a room full of navy bespoke suits, white shirts and power ties. Waiting for Barbara Walters and Joan Ganz Cooney, I saw Fox News Channel tycoon Roger Ailes lunching with Daily News publisher Mort Zuckerman. (The latter's recent publicity in New York magazine appeared without a single reference to his beloved daughter or to his private life. One would think Mr. Zuckerman was a monk.) Also glimpsed: financier Roger Altman and CBS head man Les Moonves in deep confab. Les was sporting a great tan from the day before lying by his pool in L.A. with his beautiful wife, Julie Chen. (He must have flown the red-eye back East.) Also, former Mayor Ed Koch and Realtor Bill Rudin with his daughter Samantha. (She's going into the family business. Let's hope she's a philanthropist, like the rest of the family.)" (LizSmith)

Readers of this blog know that The Corsair's favorite film director is Ingmar Bergman, whose serious, Modernist films presented visually the great questions facing man. Of course, the obits will be filled with the all-reductive epithet "depressing," passing over Bergman's accomplishments lightly, sentencing him to the intellectual ghetto of Artists-who-needed-their-Meds (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Quite the contrary. Some of us, however, like our films raw and intense and serious; some of us like our Bergman. Others, asses, will reduce Bergman to a phenomenon of our parents' rebellion. Or, rather, liked (The Corsair sips a glass of peppery Cognac).

Every film maker coming after Bergman labors under the anxiety of his influence, from the extreme close-ups, to the . His "From the life of the Marionettes" is perhaps the best adaptation of Freud's theory of repetition-compulsion, and "Cries and Whispers" which is, we wager, the most visually stunning film ever (With the possible exception of Bollard's The Black Stallion). His fade-to-red approach and natural lighting in that film conjures, intensely, similarities between the celluloid and the membrane of the inside of the shut eyelid. Fuck the sobriquet "depressive (Averted Gaze)," Bergman was naught else but utter and complete artistic genius. Perhaps The President, in the run-up to the Second Persian Gulf incursion, ought to have screened "Shame," the best cinematic portrayal of the psychological effects of a civil war on the individual. From The Florida Sentinel blogs:

"Bergman died over the weekend, 89 years into a dream of a career that saw international fame and a national status so revered that few Swedes could so much as load a camera without his seal of approval. His 1950s works were seminal, 1960s movies influential and his 70s film introspective to the point of tedium. He worked and worked and influenced and aided others and was a living iconoclast, a connection to an age of artistically ambitious film storytellers who enjoyed a level of control few in today's movie world could rival.

"And as Allen himself has said, many times, 'Bergman made half a dozen or a dozen great films. By the time I'm finished, I hope I've done half as well.'"

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Listening to the Republicans poo-poo the YouTube debates for their plebeian and "undignified" nature is not unlike General Cornwallis looking down upon those damned, filthy colonials. Sure, YouTube -- a dynamic two year old company -- is messy, and sometimes downright silly. But it is an approximation of "direct digital democracy" and should be praised. It speaks volumes of the Republican Party with their ears only attuned to private equity donors and investment bankers in the DC-LA-NYC power nexus, that they would eschew something as low-rent as a YouTube debate.

But not "Gingy!" Or so we thought. Gingy's doctoral dissertation at Tulane was an impassioned attack of Belgian rule in the Congo. Being as he is -- or at elast was -- an enemy of Imperial arrogance, we found this item in our favorite Dickensian villain, Robert Novak, to be quite complementary of our pet theory that the Baby Boomers sold out all their principles as soon as they took their seats at the tables of Power:

"Contrary to reports that Newt Gingrich lost control in one of his temper tantrums at a breakfast last Monday sponsored by The American Spectator magazine, the former House speaker was variously described as 'grouchy,' 'cool' and 'arrogant' in assailing his critics.

"Gingrich made clear he would not be seen anytime soon engaging in multi-candidate debates with opponents for the presidency, disdaining them, as he said Charles DeGaulle once labeled his competitors, as 'pygmies.' But he did not rule out an eventual candidacy."

Yeah, Right: "Alabama Atty. Gen. Troy King, McCain's state chairman, attended a private fund-raiser for Thompson in Mountain Brook, Ala., last Monday night. However, as an invited guest, King did not pay the $1,000 price of admission and said he was still committed to McCain."

"OK! magazine pays cash for stories, and it isn't very secretive about its methods. Reporters who were staking out the Los Angeles home of Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant, Tarin Graham - whom Lohan was looking for Tuesday night when she was arrested - were intrigued to see a note left by an OK! staffer. It read, 'We're prepared to offer both you and your mom a very generous reward for talking with us.' The OK! reporter had left the scene, giving all the other journos a chance to read the note.(PageSix)

Friday, July 27, 2007

Nicole Richie Escapes Serious Jail Time

Okay, Nicole Richie just cashed in her one time only Daughter-of-Lionel-Richie-get-out-of-jail pass. There will be no repeat offers if she fucks up again. Seriously: Ritchie is not a Lohan; Nicole doesn't roll like that -- she's, what, 80 lbs?!

Soaking wet.

Paris and Lindsay can take care of themselves. They both have that "nurtured in the wilderness" quality. Paris and Lindsay can nestle inside a dark, cold place deep inside themselves and resurface at the prison-term's end with rib-busting ox-strength; Nicole Richie is, like, test-tube baby fragile (okay?). Nicole Richie is "fresh-fish" from the get-go. She'll be someone's bitch the moment they issue her the state-issue "uniform." Nicole will be singing her "Boss" to sleep with the sweet-ass lullaby's from The Commodores song catalogue!

They had to let Nicole off light. They HAD to. Cause she's easy; easy like Sunday morning. From Variety:

"Nicole Richie pleaded guilty Friday to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to about four days in jail and fined by a court commissioner who said she was lucky nobody was killed when she drove the wrong way on a freeway."

"Richie, the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie, was subdued and somber as she was lectured about her driving. She entered court on the arm of boyfriend Joel Madden.

"Richie, who's rumored to be pregnant but has not confirmed it, wore a loose-fitting, knee-length black dress and spiked heels. She stood before the judge and softly answered 'guilty' when asked how she pleaded to the misdemeanor charge. She initially pleaded not guilty in February."

And who among us has not sprayed hot tears to a Lionel Richie song. We're not saying that some of that Ritchie-bonhommie affected the court commissioner, The Corsair is simply saying that we would not want to be the one who sentenced Lionel Richie's grandchild to be born in the pokey. Hello?

We can't say that we ever understood the formula for OK! Magazine, which, we gather, went something like this: pay tremendous amounts of money for interviews, write a blowjob puff-piece festooned with lovey-dovey domestic photos (See, he/she's just like you or me!), and hope that people spend money to read PR-friendly stories about celebrities.

That's just not the American way, sweet ass. Haven't those cheeky bastards ever read Richard Hofstadter? Americans are simultaneously terrified and inflamed by Power.

And so we watch with baited breath -- riveted, really -- as OK!, through the wildly unpredictable behavior of Britney Spears and her eccentric application of chicken grease to a couture gown (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), finally begins to GET that to us Americans, gossip is a dish best served cold.

"The major studios are locked in talks with hedge funds to further embellish their co-funding deals, even as they're adding up the record box office results of their summer sequels. Now that the studios seem to have figured out their winning summer strategies, why would they want to split revenues with a bunch of Wall Streeters who mainly want to score some dates with starlets?" (Variety)

"Leading Latin singer Marc Anthony belts out a tune at Thursday's jumping after-party for 'El Cantante' in New York City. Backed by a full salsa band, Anthony took the stage for a short, but powerful set of songs at Picturehouse's Cipriani 42nd St. bash celebrating the movie ... Picturehouse planners pulled off Thursday night's fiesta despite fears up to the very last minute that the event might have to move due to Manhattan's recent, nearby steam pipe explosion. Instead, a large crowd -- many decked out in bright, festive outfits -- filled the historic Cipriani space on 42nd St. (in the massive Bowery Savings Bank building) as planned. The bash featured an assortment of Puerto Rican rums and a lavish spread of food and turned hot and sweaty once Anthony hit the stage and everyone started dancing." (Indiewire)

"Stocks are trading lower on Wall Street today, a day after a sharp sell-off caused by worries about slowing economic growth and tighter borrowing conditions. The three major stock indexes — the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index, the Dow Jones industrial average and the Nasdaq composite — were each down about 0.5 percent in 2 p.m. trading. The losses were less severe than yesterday, the worst day on Wall Street in five months, but the general trend was down." (NYTimes)

"On Thursday, Paramount stole the day — and possibly the entire four-day Comic-Con show — with their drool-worthy, standing-room-only, two-hour presentations. Here's what we learned...The fans like them some Iron Man. And Paramount like them some Black Sabbath, based on the three or so times they cued the band's song "Iron Man" (if only Beavis & Butthead figured in somehow). Superskinny director Jon Favreau — who told EW he's lost 80 pounds ('I just ate less') — introduced his trailer, which featured Robert Downey Jr. effortlessly nailing the role of Tony Stark, the cocky billionaire who dons a metallic suit after a near-mortal injury. Biggest nerdgasm: Watching I-Man fly the sky in his Mark III suit with jet propulsion capabilities... in his freakin' hands!" (Popwatch)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

"Dana Foley and Anna Corinna, the New York-based design duo behind fashion-staple label Foley + Corinna, have already carved out their own casually chic niche with their Stanton Street shop, and a strong celebrity following that includes the Simpson sisters, Heidi Klum, and Scarlett Johansson. It’s that strong bold-faced fan base that led them to the West Coast this week, where on Wednesday night they toasted their star clients with Lucky magazine at the Chateau Marmont’s Bungalow One, and revealed the news that they’re scouting locations for an L.A. shop.Another pair of sisters, namely Paris and Nicky Hilton, got the evening started off with a flashbulb frenzy due to their fashionably late arrival, though most guests, including Gabrielle Union, Maggie Grace, Nicollette Sheridan, Taye Diggs, Sanaa Lathan, and Lucky editor Kim France were too embedded in their surroundings to notice." (Fashionweekdaily)

"Which Congressman From Ohio Uses Hookers? The answer, of course, is ALL OF THEM, but what we really mean is 'Which member of the Ohio delegation in the House has also ordered hookers from the DC Madam?' Larry Flynt is supposedly about to reveal this, maybe tomorrow or some other day." (Wonkette)

"Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) will square off in D.C.’s fundraising arena on Monday against former Sen. Fred Thompson (Tenn.), the man looking to supplant him in the top tier of GOP presidential contenders. McCain is gathering the chiefs of staff of his congressional supporters to raise money from up-and-coming lobbyists on the same night that Thompson has scheduled his first big-dollar Washington fundraiser. McCain is also holding a lunchtime fundraiser earlier in the day in northern Virginia. These dueling fundraising events, creating a first head-to-head match-up, come at a critical time for both men ...Thompson, meanwhile, is looking to pick off McCain’s support, but his delay in formally launching his campaign is raising eyebrows. Thompson’s surrogates have approached McCain’s backers on the Hill and K Street to persuade them to switch allegiances." (TheHill)

At first reading, we thought: How could Posh Spice fail to tip. Consider what can only be properly construed as "the posh spice rack (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)"! The Laws of Gravity impel her torso to tip at least 45-degrees. At least.

We were ultimately disappointed to learn that it was not that kind of tip. From Thisislondon:

"Victoria and new best friend, Katie Holmes enjoyed a girly lunch together at the Mondrian Hotel's Asia de Cuba in Hollywood.

"But according to the Baltimore Sun, Victoria and Katie, who was said to have paid the bill, left without leaving a tip. And when the indignant waitress tried to run after the pair, she was prevented by Victoria's security team."

We almost snorted our Kenyan blend coffee out of our nose this morning after reading this bat-shit insane charge on Drudgie-Poo linking the black experience in America with ... the Geico-Cave Man:

"The producers of ABC's new 'Cavemen' said Wednesday the comedy is much more than the insurance company commercials that inspired it, but isn't designed to be an ambitious allegory about race.

"Geico's TV spots show highly evolved but shaggy-looking cavemen chafing at misconceptions about their sophistication and intelligence. The series, debuting Oct. 2, follows another trio of Cro-Magnons facing prejudice as they try to fit in contemporary society."

Wait, it gets better. "Schiff and fellow producers responded to reporters' questions about the series, many of them focusing on parallels between the cavemen and black stereotypes and the pitfalls of turning an ad into a series.

"The producers said the characters' creative potential and their 'fish-out-of-water experience' was only touched on in the commercial spots."

First King Kong was racist, now this. Please tell me this is just a cynical way for the network to garner press attention for the show and not a truly serious charge.

"Perhaps, though, VH1 has a grand social mission. Perhaps it has set out to scare young people out of wallowing in their protracted adolescence no matter how counterproductive such a position might be. (If young people weren’t wallowing in their protracted adolescence, they wouldn’t, of course, be watching VH1 to begin with.) The network’s series “Scott Baio Is 45 ... and Single” is a truly unsettling evocation of ambling into midlife. Certainly it deserves a place in the annals of very good reality television.The show follows the former star of “Charles in Charge” as he tries to figure out why he has not been able to settle down and marry any of the countless number of women he has dated. Mr. Baio doesn’t seem to care a whit about his former celebrity. He hates autographs and has little tolerance for fans. That he doesn’t seem to be begging for our attention sets him apart from nearly every other reality TV star of his rank." (NyTimes)

"Nicole Miller breezed into town on Sunday to shoot a segment of How Do I Look?, the Style Network’s makeover show, and hosted a dinner party under the stars at the Chateau Marmont Tuesday night. And stars there were, including Adrien Grenier, who was spotted imbibing nearby, while the hotel’s owner André Balazs popped over and chatted with the designer—as did manager Jason Weinberg, an old friend of Miller’s from New York. All Weinberg wanted to talk about was client Jennifer Jason Leigh, who’s been generating Oscar buzz for Margot at the Wedding, the movie her husband, Noah Baumbach, wrote and directed, but all anybody wanted to know about was his other client: Lindsay Lohan. 'She’s had better days,' he sighed of the starlet, who was arrested for the second time in as many weeks earlier that day. 'And she’ll miss Leno tonight.'" (Fashionweekdaily)

"Wall Street hit a sharp skid today as more worrisome signs about the health of the housing market emerged and oil prices remained near record levels. The sell-off deepened throughout the day, though stocks recovered somewhat in the afternoon. It was the worst one-day decline since markets plunged worldwide in late February." (NYTimes)

"As we first told you about, Jeannette (Walls)is leaving her gig to focus on writing books, and today she ran her last column. We’ll miss you, Jeannette. But your first book was so damn good, we’d probably rather you spit out another than hear one more thing about Heidi Montag." (Jossip)

"As the only two Arab countries to have signed peace treaties with Israel, Egypt and Jordan were nominated by Saudi Arabia in April to spearhead efforts to convince Israel of the plan's merits. The plan offers Israel full diplomatic relations with the 22 members of the Arab League in return for a withdrawal to the 1967 boundaries and a 'just' solution to the issue of Palestinian refugees. Together with the visit of the Arab League delegation and the arrival in the region this week of Quartet envoy Tony Blair, the first glimmers of tentative momentum have begun to show around the peace process. However, the Palestinians remain deeply divided over strategy and policy towards Israel, and it is far too early to suggest that meaningful progress is imminent." (Janes)

"Guy Ritchie plans to direct a film version of his Virgin Comics series 'The Gamekeeper' at Warner Bros., with Joel Silver set to produce.Deal marks the first original Virgin Comics property to move into development as a feature." (Variety)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

"Here's the thing about Barack Obama, who made an unusual whistle stop in New York Tuesday afternoon at the Time Warner Center ... Time Warner's Dick Parsons, the man in charge of the whole place, did the honors in front of a crowd of about 250 including Harry Belafonte; Jon Bon Jovi ... former New York Gov. Mario Cuomo; New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly; Charlie Rose ... ABC's Barbara Walters ... WNBC's veteran Gabe Pressman; Bryant Gumbel ... folks from the New York Times, including Frank Rich; Newsweek's Johnnie Roberts and Jonathan Alter and the New Yorker's Ken Auletta, Rick Hertzberg and Jeffrey Toobin." (Fox411)

"The 48-year-old Material Girl had brought two-year-old David Banda to the 3 Mills Studios, in Bow, East London, last Friday in what was meant to be a happy family outing. But things turned sour after Madonna overheard a conversation between two crew members. One of them asked the other what the baby's name was. It is then claimed that one of the girls replied: 'Lucky Bastard.'Our on-set source tells us: 'Madonna looked astonished by what was said and words were exchanged between them.'" (3AMGirls)

"Which toke-loving chart-toppers caused a security scare because they were so stoned they left behind unattended luggage at an airport?" (Gatecrasher)

"While CNN anchor Anderson Cooper was a logical choice to moderate the YouTube-CNN presidential debate on Monday, the Rupert Murdoch-owned MySpace may choose more unconventional hosts to lead its Town Hall discussions with 2008 candidates. Sources say Ivanka Trump is being courted to serve as one of the moderators for the dozen or so upcoming MySpace discussions to be held at college campuses across the country. Wendi Deng, wife of Murdoch, the founder and chief executive of News Corp., suggested the idea to Trump, believing the real estate mogul and occasional columnist for lad mag Stuff would be a great representative of the young, educated and upwardly mobile voting population, a source close to News Corp. said." (WWD via iwantmedia)

"HOLLYWOOD - freaked by the emer gence of instant celebrities in reality television, Web sites, and now with political life - wants in on YouTube. In line with Justin.tv, the Yalie who's filmed every minute of his life, or YouTuber Lonely Girl 15, who recorded a video diary from her fictional bedroom, comes now Natalie Portman. In search of funding, 'Star Wars' former Queen Padmé Amidala has proposed a project that would be a continuous feed of her life professionally and personally. She's already met with one investor who's already asking does anyone think Natalie Life-casting would attract numbers. And people are saying it would. And the minute it does, others will follow the lead." (Cindy Adams)

"While Warners had a major presence at Comic-Con last year --opening its own TV-powered booth for the first time -- the 2007 TV boost could be explained by the 'Heroes' halo effect. NBC Universal last year made Comic-Con the opening salvo in its carefully orchestrated marketing campaign for the show. It let auds at the show see an extended cut of the 'Heroes' pilot, and the positive online buzz that resulted is often cited as a factor in the show's strong out-of-the-gate premiere. 'The Internet has changed the way in which we market TV shows,' Gregorian said." (Variety)

And this is the week that was ... in crazy chicks! OK! Magazine is finally getting a clue and getting in touch with its dark side with Britney "To the Trailer Born" Spears. Chicken grease, which, no doubt, stained her wedding gown, plays a rather prominent role in her restoration photo shoot that was supposed to put her back on everyone's pop-culture radar. From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"AFTER wiping her fried chicken-grease-covered hands on a $274 dress and picking up her puppy's poop with a $6,700 Zac Posen gown, Britney Spears shocked OK! magazine staffers at her photo shoot last Thursday by storming out with thousands of dollars worth of merchandise.

"...Following a brief interview - after which Spears broke for lunch and rubbed grease from her fried chicken on the front of her dress - she 'used the restroom repeatedly without bothering to close the door,' OK! reports, adding that her 'new Yorkie puppy followed suit by pooping on a $6,700 Zac Posen gown.'"

Why is this even a surprise? Britney and fried chicken go together like a wedding and chicken fingers. Britney has been defacing fashion -- and fashion magazine covers -- for years. And, to be sure, we already well aware of her stinky feet. And as far as Britney and cuisine, what is a little chicken grease compared to her well-publicized affinity with Cheetos?

We strongly suggest Britney, who has been working since she was pimped on show business as a Mouseketeer, take some time off, enjoy what's left of the fortune after Kevy gets his cut, and raise those kids. Her show business pass should be revoked!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

"Crain's reporter Matthew Flamm reports that this summer's biggest book auction is for Rolling Stones founding member Keith Richards' autobiography. HarperCollins and Little, Brown are battling for the book and the current marker is at $7.1 million, sources tell Crain's. 'This is Bill Clinton money,' one non-bidding publishing executive told Mr. Flamm .." (Observer)

"Britney Spears has spilled her story to OK! magazine. In a statement to celebrity news Web site TMZ, OK! Editor-in-Chief Sarah Ivens said the magazine had 'spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad.' 'This week, on newsstands Friday, the truth will be told,' Ivens said." (HuffingtonPost)

"Barack Obama's offer to meet without precondition with leaders of renegade nations such as Cuba, North Korea and Iran touched off a war of words, with rival Hillary Rodham Clinton calling him naive and Obama linking her to President Bush's diplomacy. Older politicians in both parties questioned the wisdom of such a course, while Obama's supporters characterized it as a repudiation of Bush policies of refusing to engage with certain adversaries. It triggered a round of competing memos and statements Tuesday between the chief Democratic presidential rivals. Obama's team portrayed it as a bold stroke; Clinton supporters saw it as a gaffe that underscored the freshman senator's lack of foreign policy experience. 'I thought that was irresponsible and frankly naive,' Clinton was quoted in an interview with the Quad-City Times that was posted on the Iowa newspaper's Web site on Tuesday. In response, Obama told the newspaper that her stand puts her in line with the Bush administration." (APNews via Drudgie Poo)

"The wider he casts his net, the more Prince tells us about Prince. More, in the sense of telling again what we sort of already knew about his obsessions with God and sex, and his overwhelming need to be the master. The holographic cover of Planet Earth shows him hovering godlike over the earth in a red disco shirt and black corset, his hands and features stiff with self-consciousness. Tip the cover a little, and both star and globe vanish into that glyph-thing he used during the nineties instead of a name. A perfect fusion of self and cosmos. Or something." (GlobeandMail)

"The New Yorker film critic David Denby is usually such a doom-sayer about the state of contemporary cinema that, on those rare occasions when he hints that the entire art form may not be going to hell in a hand basket, I sit up and take notice. So it is with his essay this week on the state of the romantic comedy genre, something he thinks is looking up because of Knocked Up, which he believes has put the genre on a new path, towards greater psychological insight, humorous sexual candor, and appeal to male viewers. Of course, he still has grumbling reservations about the movie: to him, it represents the latest in a recent trend of romantic comedies in which schlubby, slacker-y guys get the girl, and in which the girl doesn't really get any funny lines." (Popwatch)

We must admit that Bear Grylls is one entertaining motherfucker. Fer realsies! He amuses us greatly (The Corsair sips a Zinfandel Sonoma County Reserve 1997), what with his eating live snakes and coughing up "the icky bits (The Corsair softly chuckles)." Watching Bear reminds us of a primordial age in remote antiquity where a robust and manly survivalism was more societally important than Oprah.

The pendulum swings (The Corsair ignites a La Paloma Vintage Reserva Cigar). My good man is a fraud, operating wholly without class (Averted Gaze). From the NYPost:

"On the program, Grylls appears to camp out in quickly-built shelters deep in the wilderness while battling hypothermia and dehydration. But when the cameras stop rolling, Grylls has actually moved to luxurious hotels.

"In the last two seasons, he and producers have contrived other scenes to make it appear as if Grylls is more skilled than he really is, a consultant for the show told The Times of London.

"'If you really believe everything happens the way it is shown on TV, you are being a little bit naive,' said Mark Weinert, an Oregon-based survival consultant, who said producers hired him as an adviser for the show."

We wonder if this unexpected turn of events changes anything with all the ladies who want to "blast" him. (via jossip)

"Midway through the party, previously cool Will, his wife Jada, Tom and Katie called Posh and Becks on to a platform and gave them a truly cringey LA welcome.

"Then Muhammad Ali star Will blurted: 'The wife instructed me to talk short. So I would like to say I love the dress baby, it's a hot dress. And Tom said to me the most important decision you'll ever make in your life is the groups you choose to be a part of.

"'He said that when you choose your wife you're choosing a life, and when you choose your friends you are choosing your life.'"

Wow (Uncomfortable silence). That explains so much about Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, who, evidently, exhausted their cachet with the ever-rising Cruise. The Corsair feels like he now knows the frigid, creepy core of Tom Cruise's machinations. And .. like, we kind of wish we didn't.

"THINK you're about to hit wedding burn-out? Ex- Ralph Lauren model India Hicks has a story to top all other wedding stories, as she recalls being a bridesmaid at her Godfather Prince Charles' wedding to Diana, Princess of Wales in 1981. 'I remember Charles and Diana getting into the open carriage as they were leaving, and we were in the courtyard of Buckingham Palace. It felt like a family occasion, except the Queen was always the Queen, and one always felt special around her. Charles and Diana rode off, and Edward and Andrew had tied these cans behind the carriage on pieces of string. And Princess Margaret and the Queen and the Queen Mother ran across the gravelled courtyard, and that was a sight. I'd never seen the Queen run before! And I remember not even concentrating on the carriage, just looking at the Queen running, with her mother and her sister'" (Vogue)

"And yet again at Ye Waverly Inn's dinner for PATRICK MCMULLAN's 'Who Is It?' show, which fills GAVIN BROWN's gallery with hundreds of celeb shots that comprise the surreal gossip wallpaper of LINDSAY LOHAN's dreams. At the Inn, we learned that Patrick's reality show wasn't greenlighted by Bravo—boo—but consoled ourselves with salmon bellies, cutely non-clichéd waiters, and ANGELA JANKLOW's revelation that her fridge contains a watermelon shaped like her face. I want to eat it!" (Musto)

Scott Baio, who epitomizes a sort of musk ox-like sensuality that Playmates go in for, was classing up the joint at The Howard Stern Show today on Sirius radio. Like Nicollette Sheridan, blasting Scott Baio is an oily C-List right-of-passage in Los Angeles (Averted Gaze). In The Great Chain of Hollywood Beingsleeping with Scott Baio (Or Nicolette, for that matter), means sleeping your way to the Middle, which, for countless waitresses and lingerie models, is a preferable state of existence in Tinseltown. Among Scott's kisses and tells (From Marksfriggin), he rated Melissa Gilbert a 10; Denise Richards was a 3; Beverly D'Angelo was a 10 ("He liked her overbite and thought it was very sexy. He said that she told him that she didn't have an overbite, she had a cocksucker's mouth"). Baio also said he never slept or fooled around with brooke Shields, which leaves us with the suspicion that Sheilds' "momager" wasn't as bad a stage mother as the tabs led us to believe. From Marksfriggin:

"Howard read that Scott had been with Liza Minnelli. He said that he was with her because of who she was. He said that she was about a 7 on a scale of 10 as far as being a lover. He said that she was about 49 when he did her and it was very unique. He said they were together two times and she was a dancer so she had a good body at the time. Scott said she's a fun chick and she was into it at the time. Howard wondered how he broke it off and didn't make her hate him. He said that he just told her that he'd probably slowly pull away and he wanted to let her know before that happened."

Blowcaine ... it's a Hell of a drug. It was a bad week for crazy chicks (But a good week for Men who love our Women ... untamed)First Britney had her meltdown y'all, now LiLo was caught with a pocketful of "booger sugar," which, we cannot fail to note, begs the question: What the fuck is up with those ankle-monitors? Can one do, like, anything other than alcohol? Wasn't LiLo, like, inhaling "X" tabs in all the blind items last week? W-T-F!!

Frankly, we'd have gone in for the old "Officer, this isn't "Disco Dust," it's ointment from the apothecary to salve the Firecrotch." From TMZ:

"Law enforcement now says Lohan was stopped after cops got a call of a vehicle being chased by another vehicle. The chasing vehicle was being driven by Lohan.

"Lohan was driving a white Denali. She was chasing a Cadillac Escalade.

"She was initially suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol. A field sobriety test was conducted and she was subsequently arrested for DUI.

"At the station, a search of her person was conducted, and cocaine was found in her pants pocket."

We'll assume the blogosphere has already exhausted all the "Fully Loaded" references allowable by law (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

"Flava Flav got the celebrity roast treatment in a Comedy Central special that was taped on Sunday in Los Angeles. 'Your clock is to remind everyone how far back you set the African-American race,' zinged Ice-T, in a recurring joke that was echoed by Snoop Dogg, Carrot Top and Jeff Ross." (gatecrasher)

"We just got word that Peter Som is the new creative director for Bill Blass, and he's meeting with the label's design team this week to discuss their Spring '08 collection.The move seems appropriate - Bill Blass is known for floaty, sparkly sportswear and Peter Som has a reigned-in party girl aesthetic that can compliment the label's original vibe nicely." (fashionista)

"Which rocker half of a married couple had a steady boyfriend for years before his headline-making nuptials with his famous girlfriend?" (gatecrasher)

Monday, July 23, 2007

Will Pete Sell The Sex Tape?

Blowcaine ... it's a Hell of a Drug. Chris Rock put "lactose" in his celebrity crack recipe; 50 Cent infused his special blend with vitamin -B12. Kate Moss, in the quiet of her soul (and the highwaterness of her "booty"), is presently wondering about the whole "sexing-a-crackhead-real-good" thing. We've all made mistakes, yes; but blasting crack-ish former rentboys and doing blow in poom-poom shorts kind of tests the limits of our social liberality, no?

Well, apparently there is a sex tape involved. Two, to be accurate.

And Kate is wondering, will Pete Doherty -- to whom she has bestowed the charming sobriquet "The Slug" -- sell the tapes. From Stuff:

"Kate Moss is terrified intimate videos she made with ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty will end up on the internet.

"The supermodel, who dumped the troubled rocker earlier this month, made eight video diaries with Pete during their turbulent relationship.

"After their messy split, Kate found six of the tapes but is concerned that Pete, who is a self-confessed drug addict, could sell the missing two."

A rolling crackrock gathers no Moss. Uhm, we urge you to retain some kick-ass legal help, Kate Moss.

"The Television Critics Awards, bestowed Saturday night in Los Angeles, is an odd event: Praise and prizes handed out to stars and producers, some of whom have been savaged for their earlier shows by newspaper, magazine, and online scriveners ... David Chase, making a rare public appearance since the conclusion of The Sopranos, ... turning to the TV critic from the Newark Star-Ledger, Alan Sepinwall, and said, 'I'm from New Jersey; you're from New Jersey... explain to the people that it is entirely possible to be sitting in a restaurant in New Jersey and everybody just stops.'" (Popwatch)

"Hillary Clinton--a good night. Very quick tactical move to challenge Obama on his desire to talk to "foreign leaders." Of course, substantively, Obama and Clinton would lay the exact same groundwork before meeting with those leaders. But Clinton's pointing out that the groundwork had to be done was, dare I say it, judicious and presidential...and made Obama look, well, inexperienced. Obama--a pretty good night. But I fear that the operative sound bite will be Hillary's foreign leader takedown. Also, he's just wrong: the only way to get to universal health insurance is through a mandate. No two ways about it." (Joe Klein)

"Ever since the US became bogged down in Iraq and the President's yearly pronouncements about progress have turned out not to be wildly exaggerated, the President has consistently blamed the generals. For example, when it became clear that the US did not send enough troops to secure Iraq after the removal of Saddam Hussein, President Bush claimed General Franks, the combatant Commander, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff assured him that we had enough troops to succeed. And during 2005 and 2006, as the violence in Iraq and American casualties increased, the President said that General Casey the Commander in Iraq had not asked for more troops. Of course, Bush never mentioned the fact that Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld made it clear to the Generals that they would not get more troops. And that Rumsfeld and his top lieutenants had publicly criticized General Shinseki, the Army Chief of Staff for having the temerity to testify before Congress that several hundred thousand troops would be necessary to stabilize Iraq after the regime change." (HuffPo)

"The Beckhams' crash into L.A. last week didn't always smell like roses, what with Posh's prime-time special blasted by the critics and Becks' team failing to score in his first game Saturday. But that didn't mean the hosts of their Hollywood-style welcome bash — the Cruises and the Smiths — nixed the hundreds of blood-red rosebuds scattered under glass tabletops at their Sunday night party downtown. The 600-strong love fest, held behind barriers at the Geffen site of the Museum of Contemporary Art, drew out the likes of A-listers including Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria, Brooke Shields, Bruce Willis, Stevie Wonder, Brian Grazer and Ron Howard and, of course, Victoria Beckham's longtime manager, 'American Idol' creator Simon Fuller. But inside it was hardly the star magnet expected — some insiders having buzzed it would rival Vanity Fair's Oscar blowout. Suffice it to say, VF editor Graydon Carter's pull in these parts remains unscathed." (LAT)

You are a gazillionaire, flying under the radar, commando-style, making the duckets, doing your thing, in, we cannot fail to note, a sweet tax bracket (The Corsair stifles a wolf-whistle). And then comes Steve Schwartzman's birtday party -- a study in excess -- the most disgusting display of conspicuous consumption in Western Civilization since Trimalchio's Feast (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Damn. Now, after the fact, the Democrats -- who, no doubt, will win in '08 -- have your sweet tax bracket in their line of fire. Fuck Steve Schwartzman! From NewYorkMag:

"But if you talk to people in the private-equity business, they’re not so fatalistic about the historical trend lines. In fact, they’re even more inclined to scapegoat. For them, it’s personal. When I called a private-equity guy I know, he instantly snarled, 'It’s all Steve.' In other words, he blames the current anti-private-equity spasm not on whiny anti-business liberals, but on Steve Schwarzman, the chairman, CEO, and co-founder of Blackstone. With Blackstone’s IPO a month ago, Schwarzman’s wealth ballooned to at least $10 billion, meaning he’s now one of the very richest New Yorkers, richer than Rupert Murdoch, Ron Perelman, and Michael Bloomberg—maybe the richest of all.

"'If my world is pissed off at anyone,' says my friend, 'it’s Steve. The fucking birthday party'—which he attended in February along with hundreds of other Schwarzman associates—'where no one gave a toast, by the way, not one.'"

And the thing that really burns us up, more than the bloated excess, more than Maria Bartiromo ... was that Rod Stewart was the main attraction (The Corsair shivers).

"Which lens-loving 'socialite' is having an affair with an internationally famous married-with-kids artist?" (Gatecrasher)

"DUI probationer Eve toasted friends with Evian at Stereo on W. 29th St. Thursday night. When asked 'Where's your drink?' she showed off her ankle alcohol- monitoring bracelet - see, it was cool before Lindsay - and said, 'Only a few more days to go!'" (RushMolloy)

"In advance of a formal solicitation for funds or an announcement of his candidacy, Fred Thompson's presidential campaign is quietly organizing its first Washington fund-raiser at the downtown J.W. Marriott hotel the last week in July. This event will give the clearest signal so far of how successful the actor-politician will be in his late-starting drive to finance his run for president. It will be watched carefully to see whether Thompson picks up important lobbyists and other Washingtonians who earlier had lined up for Sen. John McCain's fading campaign for the presidential nomination." (Novak)

"In a rare instance of the printed word grabbing the spotlight over movies and videogames, youthful buyers snapped up 8.3 million copies of 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' in its first 24 hours of release in the U.S. this weekend.Tally for the seventh and final book in J.K. Rowling's mega-selling series tops the previous record for the first day of a book's release, which belonged to Potter as well: The series' sixth installment, 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,' sold nearly 7 million copies in its first 24 hours when it bowed in July 2005, according to U.S. publisher Scholastic." (Variety)

"Mr. Romney, who had led the pack in private-equity fund-raising in the first quarter, has fallen to third among all candidates of both parties. Mr. Obama got the most private-equity money in the second quarter, followed by Rudolph Giuliani, a Republican." (DealBook)

OK, we fucked up. For the second time. What is it about Carmen Zeta-Jones, Welsh theatrical geek turned starlet, that lends herself to baroque innuendo and outright lies? (The Corsair expectorates into the blogosphere)We erroneously reported on the downmarket reporting that CZJ washed her hair in caviar and goddam truffles -- admittedly, it sounded too good to be true. We are presently writing on the chalk board "Truffles for Tummy, not for the hair .."

"This is why I didn’t post the stupid caviar rumor about CATHERINE ZETA JONES on my blog when all the other sheep bloggers followed one another to jump on the bandwagon. It didn’t make any sense - if it’s too good to be true - it usually is … unless it deals with Britney Spears. The rumor went that Catherine put caviar in her hair to make it shiny? Caaammaaaannn!!!"

That, "Caaaamaaaannn" was, no doubt, delivered in a soul-piercing Rockland County accent. Ok, ok "Rockland USA," go easy; we get the point.

Larry Flynt, if all the rumors and heresay on the Sunday talkies is correct (We mean you Eleanor Clift), is about to release another round of Congressional clients of the Dc Madame. From Liz Smith:

"'I NEED absolute proof before disclosing more names, but we're working on it!' So says Hustler publisher Larry Flynt regarding his revelations about prominent politicos who have been customers of the Washington, D.C. madam.

"My inside tip from Flynt's office is that Larry is getting ready to drop at least 30 more names!"

We cannot fail to note that Eleanor Clift and Arianna Huffington were particularly coy on the McLaughlin Group with the hints and intimations of more names dropping, which makes us wonder just what does the Dc political class talk about at those endless, bozzy after-hours parties.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Is "Guerilla" The New "Medellin"?

Benicio del Toro, in a move that will surely draw the ire of those intrepid Page Sixxies, has agreed to play Che Guevara. We cannot fail to note that the similarities between the film, tentatively entitled "Guerilla," and the "Entourage"-inspired "Medellin" -- about a rebel of a different kind -- are curious. Both, for example, are going to be entirely in Spanish with subtitles. From TheHollywoodReporter:

"Benicio del Toro will play Argentine revolutionary Ernesto 'Che' Guevara in a film directed by Steve Soderbergh, the film's production company said Thursday.

"The production company did not release the title of the film, but del Toro's official Web site said it would be called 'Guerrilla.' The Spain-United States co-production will be filmed entirely in Spanish."

We know that this is on solid Constitutional grounds, but it still makes us a bit uneasy. From Breitbart (via Drudgie-poo):

"President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy Saturday, his spokesman said, revealing that Bush will hand over presidential powers to Vice President Dick Cheney while he is under under anesthesia."

"Only a few people knew that when Gerald Fagginato, a London dealer, bought one of Warhol's famous 1963 paintings of Elizabeth Taylor at Sotheby's in New York in November 2001 for $3.5 million, he was bidding on Mr. Grant's behalf.

"Measuring 40 inches square, the painting is from a series of 13, each with a different-colored background. Mr. Grant's 'Liz (Colored Liz)' is set against a vibrant turquoise blue. Now Mr. Grant has decided to sell his 'Liz' at Christie's in New York. While the auction house will not confirm that he is the seller, experts familiar with his collection have identified it as his painting."

We are not a fan of Modernism (Or post-modernism, for that matter, post-Picasso and post-Duchamp), which oftentimes is naught else but utter shit repackaged and calculated to rasp bourgois sensibilities (For further reference, see: Christo, and his cohort in art crime, "Jean-Fraud") -- Sort of like Hugh Grant's breathtakingly awful performance in the execrable "Mickey Blue Eyes (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)."

Although Hughdie's career has never come back since he went black ... Divine Brown, at least, can claim some good luck from the lurid .."encounter."

"Could Paramount Pictures lose Steven Spielberg and the DreamWorks studio it bought just 20 months ago for $1.53 billion? It's entirely possible. People close to Spielberg say he is vexed that Paramount has treated his team shabbily and grabbed credit for DreamWorks productions. If Spielberg were to leave, says a person familiar with the situation, he could take several of his hitmakers and the DreamWorks name with him. Spielberg's departure would be a huge blow to Paramount chief Brad Grey, whose nascent turnaround at the studio is based largely on DreamWorks hits, including Transformers and Blades of Glory. In recent months, Grey has been toiling to rebuild his relationship with Hollywood's most powerful director-producer. In early July, Grey went to Spielberg's sprawling East Hampton (N.Y.) compound and gave him a $1 million check from Paramount for the Shoah Foundation Institute .." (Businessweek)

"Hedge funders have rocketed to the top of Democratic Party donor lists in recent years, reflecting a generational shift on Wall Street that's part of the Democrats' growing money edge. Democrats have been free to ignore them, though, on high-profile tax issues, and still collect their money -- like other donors, their first forays have been about ideology and personal access. That may be changing: now, they're starting to lay out an agenda and act like other interest group." (Politico)

"The nation’s chief justice was unexpectedly reinstated today by the Supreme Court in a case that has fueled national protests and posed a serious challenge to President Pervez Musharraf. Chief Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhr in Islamabad after the ruling today. The presiding judge in the case declared that the president’s suspension of Chief Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry was 'illegal and without lawful authority.' The decision, by a panel of Supreme Court justices, was 10 to 3. Hundreds from a wide range of political groups — including Jamaat-e-Islami, a religious party, and Pakistan People’s Party, led by Benazir Bhutto, an exiled prime minister — erupted with joy outside the court here, clapping and chanting, 'Go Musharraf, Go.'" (NYTimes)

There are so many stories about the infamous and "beefy" Suge Knight (Whom the "urbandictionary" referrs to as "gully"). Some rumors, like the one that he dangled Vanilla Ice like a participle over a balcony to make him sign over rights to his "music" -- ahem -- are untrue. Other rumors, like the one that he made business rivals drink his own warm urine, have, unfortunately, the ring of truth (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

Whatever the case, there are witnesses that the former football player and record-label executive this time "ate" Kevin Connolly of "Entourage's" finger like a goddam White Chocolate Twix! From our favorite superhero gossip duo Rush and Molloy:

"Today's thorny etiquette question: How should one respond when one is being bitten by Suge Knight?

"Such was the quandary of 'Entourage's' young star Kevin Connolly following ESPN's ESPY Awards last Wednesday in Los Angeles.

"Several sources tell us the two were playfully wrestling at the late-night after-party thrown by awards host LeBron James at the Mondrian hotel.