Discipline is often hard for a stepfather or a father to do effectively with daughters. As Fred Rogers said, “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” Even when she makes a mistake. Here are some things for you to consider when approaching discipline with your daughter.

1. Pick your battles. Ask: “How important will this issue be one year from now?” Put her misdeed into perspective, especially when tension is high. When you start getting super-angry, take time and space to breathe and think things through, rather than jumping into a battle that may end up making more work for you both over time.

2. Catch her being good. Positive reinforcement is very powerful, so be sure to notice (and acknowledge) when she is respectful, stands up for herself appropriately, thinks of others, and displays the diverse qualities and values that make for a good person.

3. She hungers for you attention. Focusing your attention on her is like training a growth light on a plant—it can help her blossom in the most positive ways. Never underestimate the power of your fatherly attention to steer her in the right direction.

4. “Punishment” is only one gizmo in the discipline toolbox—and often the least effective. Agreed-upon expectations and routines—with natural consequences for mistakes and missteps—are the most successful strategies. With younger daughters, try “playful parenting.” Be direct and respectful, but try to offset her embarrassment and help her learn with humor. Remember the ultimate goal: to learn self-discipline that will serve her well after you’re out of the picture.

5. Listen to her. That increases the odds that she’ll respond positively to you. “Misbehavior” sometimes results from feelings your daughter hasn’t processed or figured out. Your listening can help her do that, and thus drain away the distress fueling her misbehavior!

6. Demonstrate emotional intelligence. Everyone (including you and her) feels angry, happy, sad, loving, grateful, afraid, safe, confused, regretful, proud, and loved. So make sure you are feeling and expressing all of those emotions responsibly. That sets a powerful example for your daughter, and gives you solid experience in how to understand and help her manage her own range of emotions. Remember that discipline is about love, not about asserting power to make one person feel better by putting down another.

7. Respect mistakes (yours and hers). It’s a good thing everyone makes mistakes, because many of life’s most important lessons come from screwing up. If you mess up, set an example by making amends--work to “mend” the tear in the relationship, instead of just quickly apologizing to paper over the immediate discomfort. When she screws up, hold her accountable, and calmly help her work through the lessons she learns.

8. Follow through. Disciplining is sometimes uncomfortable, but we have to do it anyway. If you set a consequence and she doesn’t respond, don’t brush things off by saying: “Well, I know she meant to” or “I know she’s sorry inside.” Kids don’t want to admit they were wrong anymore than we do, but we all have to learn that skill. When you respect her for admitting mistakes, you show the kind of unconditional love she craves and needs from you.

9. Father the best you can when she is with you. If you’re a live-away dad, don’t let her off the hook or try to “make up for” family problems by suspending expectations and limits. As one dad put it, “Playing ‘Disneyland Dad’ only makes me a Mickey Mouse parent.” You can’t change how her mother raises her or make up for what her other parents do or don’t do. You can’t correct their excessive leniency with excessive strictness on your part, or vice versa. Father her calmly; give her choices; and be patient and loving, not a demanding perfectionist. Be the dad she can talk to and trust to support her--even when she makes mistakes.

10. Enjoy each other! The most effective discipline grows from a foundation of trust. Trust can’t come if the majority of your father-daughter interactions center on discipline. Dedicate time to spend together having fun, talking, being with family, or just quietly enjoying each other.

To learn more about healthy fathering of girls, visit ourwebsiteDADs: Making the world safe and fair for our daughters

Drew Brees, who won a state football championship with Westlake High School in suburban Austin, said he got no response from his mother when he first heard about the ads and called her to ask that she stop using them. His agent sent her a letter Oct. 20 threatening legal action, he said.

He called his relationship with his mother "nonexistent" after it crumbled six years ago when he refused to hire her as his agent.

Mina Brees said her son's allegations were a mischaracterization and that she had no intention of becoming his agent.

"I love Drew very much, and I'm very proud of him. But sometimes when people are following a career path, they change," she said.

A tiny ferry making its way across the Clyde river got caught up in a NATO naval exercise and ended up being threatened by a large US battleship, it emerged this week.

The 70-year-old boat was starting the 15 minute crossing from Gourock to Kilcreggan when it received a radio message: "Unidentified vessel approaching on my starboard side, please identify yourself. If you fail to do so, we will open fire on you with live ammunition."

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Walker, a 1962 Yale graduate, was appointed to the federal bench by President Reagan in 1985. He was appointed to the 2nd Circuit in 1989 by his cousin, former President George H.W. Bush.

No charges have been filed.

New Haven police chief Francisco Ortiz said a long investigation will be required to determine what happened, but police did not feel it was necessary to test Walker for drugs or alcohol. Walker stopped his vehicle immediately after the accident, Ortiz said.

Walker, 65, voluntarily stepped down as chief judge Oct. 1 and took the status of senior judge, said spokeswoman Karen Milton, circuit executive for the appeals court.

Think about this for a moment. Appointed by Reagan, promoted by Bush, happens to be a cousin. He's probably an ok, standup guy. But still.... Its your cousin. There had to be something going on here.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

"Flames could be seen shooting from windows on two upper floors of the building, near the East River. Burning debris fell from the tower, and a column of gray smoke rose over the city. The fire was under control as of 3:30 p.m., authorities said.

Police said officers citywide have been ordered to stay on shifts that would have ended at 4 p.m. Len Matsunaga, president of the condominium board of the building said the incident evoked images of Sept. 11, 2001 but that planes, particularly sea planes landing on the East River fly very close to the building.

Federal Aviation Administration officials said the two dead were a flight instructor and a student pilot.

New York City Police said there was no indication from U.S. defense department officials that any suspicious aircraft were in the area. Nevertheless, police responded to the scene in body armour and armed with automatic weapons.

Notables are said to live in the apartment building. Mystery writer Carol Higgins Clark bought a 38th-floor apartment there for $1.5 million in 2004."

What I want to know is why would the police respond with body armour and automatic weapons? Weird huh?

All of these innovations, added together, have saved the America $800 billion dollars since the 1950's. All of these innovations were contributed to or created by the laboratory of one man: Dr. Arthur Rosenfeld, an 80 year old particle physicist, who has worked on the physics and policy of energy efficiency in the United States for longer than just about anyone.