We heard about a doctor who recently made some hurtful comments. He insulted parents who are “anti-vaccine”. He said that those parents hate their kids. What an absurd and unprofessional thing to say! Sadly, we think that doctor really, really believes that moms and dads, like our mom and dad, hate their kid.

If mom hated being Ronan’s mom, she wouldn’t spend all of her time with him. But she does.

If mom hated Ronan, she wouldn’t spend thousands of dollars on his therapy. But she does.

If dad hated Ronan like that doctor says dad does, he wouldn’t take Ronan out on Daddy dates to his favorite restaurant. But he does.

If dad hated being Ronan’s dad, he wouldn’t get up in the middle of the night to help Ronan get back to sleep. But he does.

If dad hated Ronan, he wouldn’t work hard every single day, and also work two jobs, to make sure Ronan gets the care he needs now and in the future. But he does.

Our parents do not hate our brother. They love him very much! You can see that love in everything they do for him. You can feel that when you watch them helping him. They help him all of the time, I mean, Allllll of the time. Parents who hate their kids don’t give them healthy, organic foods. They won’t make sure their kids get their medicine. Our parents do all of that even though they’re tired, and it costs a lot.

That doctor made a false claim and he did it in public in front of other people. Not only that, someone offered to print his rude words. Now more people can know what he said. That could be a good thing, we guess, because then more people will see that he’s not exactly a kind, caring doctor. We know a few kinds of doctors, and you know what, they like that our parents work as hard as they do! Some of the nurses say that Ronan is their favorite patient. They also say to mom, “Mom, you know him best. Tell us how we can help you.” That’s pretty awesome. That’s how doctors and nurses are supposed to be, nice and caring. We’d never want Ronan to be under that other doctor’s care.

Since he’s in a position of some kind of authority, some of the people may think that other doctor is important and will probably believe him. If he could just see what we see. Our mom and dad want only the best and will do whatever they can for Ronan. Ronan can’t talk or take care of himself completely yet, but mom and dad make sure he’s okay. They make sure he’s happy. They protect him also. They’ll protect him from doctors like that one who wasn’t nice to moms and dads.

By the way, our parents aren’t “anti-vaccine”. If you knew them, like really, really knew them, you’d know that they encourage people to read about vaccines. They want other moms and dads to know every single thing they can learn about vaccines. Mom wants other moms, especially the young and new moms, to ask questions about them. Dad wants other dads to get involved in the conversations the moms usually have with the kids’ doctors. How is asking about, learning about, and talking about vaccines anti-vaccine? It isn’t. It’s being vaccine smart.

If you want to really see what parents think of their kid with autism, come to our house. You’ll see that daddy built special door handles for Ronan so he wouldn’t fall while coming in and out of the house. You’ll see that mommy makes all kinds of safe and yummy meals for Ronan because he can’t eat certain foods. We help around the house, too. Sometimes that’s hard because Ronan doesn’t know how to express himself so well yet, but he knows we want to help him; so he lets us.

Being a caregiver takes work. Maybe that doctor doesn’t understand how to do that like we do. He made us sad, but he also made us see what a lucky kid Ronan is. Ronan’s lucky to have our parents, and he’s super lucky to have us too.

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Lovely article . I was very happy to read about all the fabulous caregiving to support Ronan's care progress through the difficult areas .
You're right, doctors and nurses are supposed to be ,nice and caring .It is very sad that you young folk have to hear such horrible ,very annoying and ignorant things being said . Some doctors and nurses just need more kindness in caregiving lessons in the 1st year of their training ! It's the best anidote going for preventing horrible attitudes developing.
Keep on, keeping on caring!

Some brothers/sisters are truly resentful of the time and resources their parents have invested in their sibling with autism. Did these siblings ever feel left out? I'm sure they found comfort with each other but what about the families with one sibling that is typical and one that has autism? I see a lot of resentment from our one typical son. He's unable to tolerate his brother's challenges and thinks we as parents are too soft on our son with autism. Our other "only child" without autism, now 21, has a lot anxiety about caring for his brother when we pass despite our reassurance that he will not shoulder this on his own. We've set up a team to manage our other son with autism and hope he'll be in a proper placement before we pass on...but financially speaking, we have no more $ left to support our son with autism privately and the state institutions are scary...really scary! Our son with autism requires 24 hour supervision and cannot communicate to anyone if he is being abused. Would love to hear how families have overcome the resentment when the sibling or siblings without autism struggle to accept their sibling with autism.

I agree that this doctor is a cruel, insensitive, despicable, disgusting, horrible, moron. He has no idea how difficult it is to raise a child with autism and how much work goes into caring for them. We love our children more than we put into words and will continue to care for them always. God Bless them and the families who care for them.

"Being a caregiver takes work. Maybe that doctor doesn’t understand how to do that like we do. He made us sad, but he also made us see what a lucky kid Ronan is. Ronan’s lucky to have our parents, and he’s super lucky to have us too. "

Kathy .. I respectfully suggest this "doctor" didn't speak so cruelly of parents "hating their child" because he "didn't understand how to do that like we do" .. in fact .. quite the opposite I believe.

He not only "understands" .. but .. even worse .. his cruel characterization was "intended" to do exactly what he meant to do .. "demonize parents" .. by accusing them of the absolutely worst crime of all .. hating their child.

In my personal opinion .. this "doctor", by his "intended" words and actions .. has revealed himself to be a callously cruel, despicable, shameful human-being.