Big Brothers

There are many things in this world that mean a lot to me and things I would love to write about. However, there is one topic that means so much to me that I have never begun to describe to many people. Big brothers have been a big part of my life. I have always had that need to feel that there was a guy out there for me. A man who was not wanting to date me or want more then just friends. A brother who was a Godly man, who would give me a big bear hug when I was at my worst. A man who would become protective over me if a guy came to close to me, and a man who would care.

I do in fact have one older brother that is blood related, named Sam. It was in fact Sam who gave me the name Katrina, because they thought I was going to be a boy. Well since I disappointed them and they got stuck with me, my parents allowed Sam to name me. I do not know why, but my brother and I were very close and still are. However, when he reached high school I never saw him much. He was out with his friends and being to cool for my family. Once he went off to college I really never saw him or heard from him. However, once I saw him for the first time after he had left, he had changed so much. It felt like he was taking up his role more in becoming my big brother. I felt protected for the first time. Ever since then he has been taking me out on dates and wanting to spend quality time with me. To me, that means so much. To be able to have a relationship with a man where you don’t have to be dating in order to have fun with and love. It is amazing.

Kyle Ladner was my next big brother and my first big brother that wasn’t blood related. When I first moved to Malaysia, I was accepted into the Ladner family right away as their sister. Keegan and I still argue that me being six months older doesn’t count, but it does; however, that is another story. Anyways, once Kyle came to Dalat for high school he was my big brother. At first we didn’t talk much or hang out and I was fine with that. It wasn’t actually till my freshman year of high school that I realized he was my big brother. It was during S.E.W., I was going through a really hard time during then. I was missing my siblings, for it was the first time for me to be the only child and I was struggling with some friend issues. After one of the night services, all of it just came out. I began to cry and everyone was praying for each other. I was however, sitting alone just letting the tears come. Then suddenly I feel an arm go around me and I look over to see Kyle sitting next to me, saying that it was going to be ok. From then on I realized how much Kyle meant to me. It was such an amazing feeling to know that there was someone who would always be there for me if I needed to talk.

Kirk Fraiser didn’t become my brother until second semester of my freshman year. It was a chapel day, I was still going through some hard times and that particular day my friend had decided to remind me of something I was trying to forget. It ticked me off, I started to go into a bad mood the rest of the mourning, until chapel came along. That particular day was the day Mr. Gwaltney decided to ask the question: How are you really feeling? What is the best thing that has happen to you this year?, What is the worse thing that has happened to you this year?, and What would you ask God? I broke out in chapel crying. I was trying so hard to cover it up as well, but that didn’t really work out to well it just became worse. Kirk saw me, came over, sat next to me and put his arm around me. Then he began to pray for me, something that not many people do unless I ask for it. Kirk had known I was going through a hard time and that I was missing my siblings a lot. The prayer he prayed for me was so encouraging and in that prayer he called me his sister. Usually I am the one who chooses my brothers and decides who is going to take on the job to look after me. However, Kirk chose that job for me and that meant a lot right there.

Josh Ray became my big brother when he started wanting to know how I was really doing in life. Every now and then he will ask me how I am really doing. Not my fake answer that I give everyone saying that I am doing good, but the honest one. Josh can also give the most comforting hugs I have ever received. They are hugs that make me feel safe and protected. Hugs that tell me that everything is going to be alright and that I don’t need to fear anything. Josh is the brother who protects me from other guys. The other week a guy was flirting with me and Josh got so ticked off at him that Josh yelled at him in front of many people. However, I was oblivious to this that didn’t find out till later from another one of my good friends. It was funny but also important though for me to find out this, because it made me feel like there was someone there who is willing to protect me from other men who may not have the right intentions.

These big brothers have had an amazing impact on my life. They have taught me many lessons and have put me on the right path towards God. All of these great men have made me feel beautiful in different ways. Some people may think that big brothers are just in excuse for me to flirt or have a hug from a guy; however, no. Big brothers to me have a deeper meaning than that. God has always provided me with a big brother and I hope he continues to provide for me.