'Bi-Poseur': Show about suicide remains upbeat

'Bi-Poseur': Paolo Sambrano's one-man show about suicide and mental illness is designed to be funny

Alexandria Regilio

Published 4:00 am, Thursday, July 15, 2010

Photo: Beth Allen

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"Bi-Poseur" writer and star Paolo Sambrano.

"Bi-Poseur" writer and star Paolo Sambrano.

Photo: Beth Allen

'Bi-Poseur': Show about suicide remains upbeat

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Paolo Sambrano's autobiographical one-man show, "Bi-Poseur," is about suicide, mental illness and the death of his mom.

But Sambrano's not trying to kill your buzz. He's trying to make you laugh.

"It's not a pity party. It's not woe is me," said the 23-year-old performer, born and raised in Oakland. "Despite the really dark material, it's really upbeat."

In "Bi-Poseur," which premiered in February, Sambrano tells the story of a day in 2008 when he visits his mom's grave in Hayward. Having just undergone knee surgery and suffering a blood clot, he is bewildered by the fact that he could actually die of causes he didn't create. Throughout the play, which ends with the scene of the star's fictional funeral, Sambrano is brutally open about his suicide attempts, which started in high school.

"I've been telling these stories for years. I was the last person to know you're not supposed to tell people you were hospitalized," he said. "I'm a very face-value type of person. I'm not big on a lot of secrets. It's a lack of shame, really."

Saturated in Bay Area and pop culture references, "Bi-Poseur" reveals a young man who is living with various mental illness diagnoses while still grappling with his mother's death. Sambrano was 8 when his mother died of an aneurysm, and he quickly started to understand death as a likely result of almost anything - including a failing grade in school.

"My first quiz I ever got an F on, for me that was life flashing before my eyes. I f- everything up," he said. "I would go from zero to 'I'm going to jump in front of a BART train' in seconds."

While Sambrano says he's "counting the days until some psychiatrist berates me on Twitter" for the sensitive content," he said he's ready to stand his ground should that happen.

"I'm not a spokesperson for bipolar people or depressed teenagers of America," said Sambrano, who added that the show makes him feel more accountable for his actions. ("I almost feel like I can't do as impulsive of things, like saying I'm just going to jump off a bridge.")

"While I'm able to keep the gravity of the situation alive and not dumb it down to something exploitative, it's still somewhat diffused because I'm not providing solutions," he said. "I'm not saying this is how you stop teenagers from slitting their wrists.