If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

short passage

The following passage is meant for year 2 students. Please edit it for me. Any suggestions to improve the passage are welcome. Thanks in advance.

Last Friday morning, Isaac was sleeping soundly. The alarm clock rang. He switched off the alarm and told himself that he would wake up five minutes later. When he finally woke up, he looked at the clock. It was 7 o’clock. He would be late for school. He quickly brushed his teeth and changed into his school uniform and, with his school bag slung over his shoulder, rushed to the bus stop. He had no time for breakfast. Soon he saw the bus he had to take moving towards the bus stop. He ran quickly, but he missed it. So he decided to run to school, as his school was not far away. After he ran for a short while, it started to rain. Poor Isaac! He was drenched all through. When he reached the school, he was scolded by his form teacher for being late.Isaac had learnt a lesson. He decided that he would not go to bed late any more.

Re: short passage

Originally Posted by kohyoongliat

The following passage is meant for year 2 students. Please edit it for me. Any suggestions to improve the passage are welcome. Thanks in advance.

Last Friday morning, Isaac was sleeping soundly. The alarm clock rang. He switched off the alarm and told himself that he would wake up five minutes later. When he finally did so, he looked at the clock. It was 7 o’clock. He was going to be late for school. He quickly brushed his teeth and changed into his school uniform, and with his school bag slung over his shoulder rushed to the bus stop. He had no time for breakfast. Soon he saw the bus he had to take moving towards the bus stop. He ran quickly, but he missed it. So he decided to run to school, as his school was not far away. After he ran for a short while, it started to rain. Poor Isaac! He was drenched all through. When he reached the school, he was scolded by his form teacher for being late.Isaac had learnt a lesson. He decided that he would not go to bed late any more.

Re: short passage

Hello KYL

As a footnote to Svart's suggestions:

1. After he ran for a short while → After he had been running for a short while

2. He was drenched all through → He was drenched through

3. Isaac had learnt a lesson. He decided that he would not go to bed late any more. ] This is grammatically fine; but it might be more in keeping with the story to say "He decided that he would not have any more lie-ins."