Was it just the outsider vibe that permeated so many of the
scenes tonight, or was this the queerest episode of any series that’s ever been
on television? I mean, I’m reading this right, aren’t I? Santana told Brittany I’m not in love with you, you’re just a
substitute for Puck, and Brittany’s heart was
broken, so she tried to use Artie to
punish Santana, and Santana went nuts with jealousy?

The final scene with Brittany
all alone, pushing the meatball with her nose, and walking around the hall
looking so forlorn without her Santana – I cried. Not metaphorical tears – the
real thing, with salt and water and a snotty nose.

And Kurt… my god,Kurt. Yes, he’s had a bit of
inappropriate stuff with Finn last
season. It was interesting to see that getting explored. But to see him trying
to figure out how to be himself in the world, to know that someone he admires
and cares about sees him as so toxic that just singing a duet with him could
potentially ruin someone else’s reputation? To believe you’re going to be
cheated out of the simple high school experience of walking down the hall
holding hands with someone you care about, or dancing at your prom?

And still be a mensch and go tell the guy to sing his duet
with a girl?

Plus his voice – and that performance of "Le Jazz
Hot." Chris Colfer was on fire
tonight. If he doesn’t win the Emmy next year, well, there’s no justice in this
world. /fangirling

As to what actually happened, it begins with us learning
that Puck‘s in juvie for driving
his mom’s car into the front of a convenience store and driving off with the
ATM. Even Brittanythinks that’s kinda
dumb. And it leaves the Glee Club yet again short that critical twelfth member
(it’s apostolic. I just realized). Fortunately, Sam‘s recovered from his
dislocated shoulder enough to sing, and he shakes his shaggy hair and says
hello to the Glee Club.

"Hi, everybody," he says blondly. "I’m Sam. Sam I am. And I
don’t like green eggs and ham."

Santanais not impressed,
while Finnall but
squees.

Quinn gives the new boy a twice-over, and so does Kurt, who murmurs to Mercedes,
"He’s on Team Gay. No straight boy does his hair to look like Linda
Evangelista circa 1993."

"You’re crazy circa 2010," Mercedes deadpans.

And then Mr. Schuester‘s dialogue is turned up and he’s talking about
what makes duets great — and that’s our assignment for the week. But there’s a
twist: It’s a competition, modeled on Rachel and Kurt’s season one
diva-off to the Wicked song "Defying Gravity." The wining duo
gets a free dinner at Breadsticks.

This plunges our Lima
losers into joyful pandemonium. Those must be some breadsticks.