"If I Were A Carpenter"

"If You Were A Parodist (Summer Savings: Two Songs for the Price of One!)"

The Lyrics

If you were a parodistAnd liked entertainingCould you parody anything?Could you get high ratings?

If you were Royce MillerAnd dated the FloriosWould you offer them cookies or (A.L.: Would you bait your fishing hook)Some Bach oratorios? (A.L.: With some plastic Oreos?)

If you were Malc Higgins (A.L.: If you, Professor Higgins)And met Pip and Merry (A.L.: Met Merry and Peregrin)Would you find them androgynous (A.L.: Would you cease your gay-bashing songs)And a bit less scary? (A.L.: Maybe even share a grin?)

If you, Claude, were PrezzidentAnd needed a toe-lick (A.L.: And misplaced your Rolex)Would you call up your special friend (A.L.: Would you call up your spackle friend)That weasel Pacholek (A.L.: And borrow Pacholek's?)

If you were Sir WilliamAlso known as Tong-Master (A.L.: Our number one parodist)Would you spend all your eveningsWhacking Bush, that bastard (A.L.: Whacking Bush, whom Kerry dissed?)

If you are the one's guyAnd think me no satirist (A.L.: And you're feeling lucky)Stick to pattern and click away (A.L.: Then write a response to this)Then jerk off on your mattress (A.L.: And send it to Chucky!)

If Wild Man were your nameUnder towering stupa (A.L.: And your drums were Gene Krupa's)Would you share your sack lunch with me (A.L.: Would you be in my backup band)And split a chalupa (A.L.: And fry me chalupas?)

Were you known as Jeff ReubenAnd we had conversation (A.L.: And weren't impressed with me)Would you spare me the details of (A.L.: Would you show solidarity)Your boob operation? (A.L.: By walking abreast with me?)

If your name were Spaff.com (A.L.: If parody were your trade)And you made me laugh.com (A.L.: And your moniker Spaff.com)Would you polish your craft.com (A.L.: Would you gift me with four's at least)And sell it on Half.com? (A.L.: Or give me the shaft.com?)

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Voting Results

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5.0

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5.0

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5.0

Total Votes:

5

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"Stone towers, also known as stupas or pagodas, are reminiscent of Buddhist elements and represent temples of the deities."--Maggie Oster, Reflections of the Spirit: Japanese Gardens in America, 1993. Glad you liked the song, and yeah, you will be playing the drums because I know you know how to rock, you came to party and will go wild at the drop of a chalupa. d;:^)