Man's obsessed with his ex

I am in my mid-40s, a successful financial trader, never married. I go out often after work and have met several men I have dated.

Recently, I met a very nice man in an upscale restaurant in Madison. He called me a couple of times and asked me to go out to a dinner/jazz club in Manhattan the next weekend. He was a gentleman, dressed nice, mannerly, good-looking, intelligent.

It was a wonderful first date. He smiled a lot, conversation was easy, and I caught him more than once looking at me with a slight smile . All was going great until he told me how much I looked like his last girlfriend, whom he dated for over a year, and who, he added, was quite beautiful.

He went on to tell me she had two kids, and she broke up with him because she did not feel he was the fatherly type since he had never been married and was 47. I kind of brushed it off because I could not have been less interested.

The next day he called and asked if I wanted to see a movie and get Chinese take-out. Another great date, until at the end of the evening, he told me that if he brought me to the sports bar where he and his friends hang out, they would swear I was this other girl.

Again, I tried to brush it off because I really like him, but it seemed he always managed to bring her up, even when he asked me what for work, he went into detail about how she was a buyer for women's clothing.

During the week, he asked me to go to take a ride to the Poconos for the day on Saturday. We stopped at some different places and were holding hands. He had made dinner reservations at a romantic inn . It was wonderful. He really planned a great day.

When he brought me home, I invited him in for a brandy. When he was kissing me, he touched my hair and said: "Your hair is just a little bit shorter than hers, but it's exactly the same color. Want to see her picture?"

I was so furious I said "NO," told him to leave and said, "Don't call me again. Call her!" I'm wondering if I overreacted.

Not her

Dear Not Her,

HELL NO! The only thing you did wrong was to not tell him sooner. Talk about not being over!

If he calls, tell him you have no desire to be the "ghost of girlfriend past." Delete his number from your cell, and say, "Next!"

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Man's obsessed with his ex

I am in my mid-40s, a successful financial trader, never married. I go out often after work and have met several men I have dated.

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