Are you scared to get skinny? No, really! Have you gone on program after program, successfully lost some weight and then gotten scared and found yourself backing away from the thought of a slimmer you? I can’t tell you how many women I’ve spoken with over the years who go on weight-loss programs, and then, just as they begin to lose weight, commit wellness mutiny by abandoning healthy living. If this sounds eerily familiar, you may just be dealing with an issue called "Secondary Gain."

Secondary Gain is a psychological term used to describe the underlying and often unconscious motivation for various kinds of behavior. Take, for example, the person who fakes an illness or injury because he seeks the increased care, attention and sympathy (the Secondary Gain) that he’ll inevitably receive because of the condition. Or the very skinny person who is constantly telling people that she is too fat and is on a diet. Naturally, when she tells her friends this, they all tell her how skinny she is and that she doesn’t need to be on a diet (that feedback is the Secondary Gain).

Those who may have been sexually abused when they were young often use their weight as a way of protecting themselves. Many women feel that being overweight makes them unattractive to the opposite sex, and thereby allows them to avoid painful intimacy and sexuality issues. When these women start to lose weight and get the attention of men, their mind is flooded with painful memories from the past. They run away in fear to maintain a false sense of security (the Secondary Gain) that being overweight allows them. If this sounds like you, make an appointment with a therapist today to start putting that painful past behind you so you can get healthy both in body and mind.