Are You a Lame High School Senior Who Wants to Be a Slightly Cooler College Freshman? Amazon.com Wants to Sell You Stuff

Once upon a time -- in a time we'll call The Good Old Days -- so-called "college survival kits" included notebooks and detergent and shit like that. That was before kids were all stupid little losers, though. Now, they apparently need help figuring out all the fancy ass pop culture references we old timers developed over the last 10 years, lest they fall victim to a cyberbully or something like that.Amazon.com is here to help. The editors at the online bookselling behemoth have assembled a list of "classic" pop-culture media to keep your little cousin with braces from ending up like Megan Meier. Yes, Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr Seuss is on the list. That's the last book most of these kids actually read before Wikipedia editors started doing their homework. Sigh.

Here are some of the other music, movie and book picks. I won't ruin the surprise of the music picks, but let's just say they rhyme with Yave Patthews Fand and Rampire Leakend.

Music

Plastic Beach by Gorillaz

Glee: The Music, The Power of Madonna

To the Sea by Jack Johnson

Crash by Dave Matthews Band

Contra by Vampire Weekend

Ten by Pearl Jam

Congratulations by MGMT

Greatest Hits by Journey

Books

The Book of Awesome: Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money in Your Pocket, and Other Simple, Brilliant Things by Neil Pasricha