I’ve been hesitant to write because I wanted my blog to be full of positive vibes. But I thought, isn’t that being a bit fake? How can I write about life being so wonderful all the time when sometimes it just isn’t?

The purpose of my writing is not about how perfect life always is: it’s about how I handle those tough times. How I recognise when my frequency moves up and down the emotional scales. What I attract into my life by how I focus. And what do I do to adjust myself back into balance. Back into a more positive frame of mind and better-feeling thoughts and emotions.

Over the past few weeks, I think I took on a lot of physical activity that my body hasn’t been used to for a long time. I forget that although my head wants to dance and play and run a marathon, my legs just don’t, and they make it known when I try to overrule them.

Then I received news about some hospital tests I had being less than favourable. I started worrying of course. The worry took me to a place of panic. And then to add to it, my house got burgled.

I really felt that I was stuck in a downward spiral that was sucking me down faster and faster. My relaxation and meditation strategies took a back seat. I let life get too busy. I become overwhelmed. And after the burglary happened I spiralled down further into anger, an emotion I really haven’t felt for a long time.

Of course I recognised the pattern, as I described earlier in Emotion Devotion, and knew I had to stop this decline.

I tried to listen to some of my usual guided meditations on my ipod, but found it difficult to switch off the worrying thoughts in my head. Then the sun came out after several weeks of rainy weather, so I took myself out into the garden with my Kindle to read. However, I got very little reading done. I found myself distracted. I looked up to the clear blue sky and noticed the patterns the trail of the aeroplanes had made across the sky. Two of them formed a X shape and I imagined this was a sign from the Universe giving me a kiss and saying ‘Everything is OK’. I thought about all the planes passing overhead (luckily too high up for me to be disturbed by engine noise), and appreciated how easy it is for me to be on one of them flying away to some glorious holiday. I listened to the beautiful birdsong, and enjoyed watching the birds flying to and from the feeders I had filled up with food. I noticed the new buds on the young fruit trees I had planted last year. I appreciated the warmth of the sun on my face and arms, and appreciated how the sun and the slight breeze were drying the laundry I had hung out. I enjoyed listening to my neighbour’s little granddaughter singing and laughing. I spent more than an hour just basking and noticing everything wonderful around me.

I became completely mindful of how, right there, right at that very moment, life was perfect. I had more than I needed and everything I wanted. I know that when I am mindful and ‘in the moment’, everything is always working out ok. I have no worry or stress, just peace and calm.

When you become mindful and calm, your brain naturally goes into an alpha state, which is the state you are aiming to achieve in meditation. I realised that, for me, at that time, doing a specific meditation exercise felt like I was trying too hard. It felt like I was saying “C’mon inner peace, I haven’t got all day!”. However, by getting myself out in nature, and becoming mindful of the beauty around me and everything around me to appreciate, this just naturally took me into alpha, there was no effort required, no resistance to push against.

Many people think of meditation as it used to be defined: sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, chanting ‘om’. However, meditation can now be defined as anything that calms your mind, and enable you to stop or change your thought patterns. It can be the traditional Buddhism-style meditation if you wish. It can also be focussing on your favourite soft music, or watching children or animals playing. It can be becoming lost in the creation of art. Whatever you can give your full attention and feels good, whatever recharges your batteries.

When I thought later on about those things I had been worrying about, I could do it from a different perspective. It felt like the high charge had been removed. I have to go for further appointments at the hospital, but I am appreciating that I have access to an excellent Health Service that will help take care of my body. On the subject of the burglary, I am thankful that I was safe (as I was in bed asleep during it). While they took my purse and jewellery, a few bits of which were precious to me, there were lots of my possessions around which they did not take. I felt that as my energy frequency is quite high as a rule, but just experiencing a minor dip, the loss was not as bad as it could have been. I even thought about my earlier post about two travelling angels, and considered how I would rather it happen to me than perhaps one of my elderly neighbours, who may be less able to cope emotionally.

I also listened to several of the speakers in the Hay House Summit, which I wrote about earlier. So much inspiration to enjoy. I took lots of notes of some of them too, so will probably write about those in future posts.

When I want to feel better, I go to see the quacks!

Since then, for the last week or so, I have made a point of getting myself out to the local parks, and just sitting doing the same as I did in my garden. I have taken along a journal to write down my mindful thoughts and appreciations. I have enjoyed watching the baby ducks and cygnets getting bigger, healthier and stronger every day, being nurtured by their parents. I appreciate the people who stop to let me pet their dogs and have a lovely chat.

I can feel my energy increasing every day, and I am thankful for some challenges that make the getting back into balance feel sooooo delicious 😀

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I'm a woman in my 40's and finally feeling that I know who I am and why I am, I would like to share the shadows from my life. Having got here fairly intact and along the way found the ability to take a step back and see things more clearly it is my hope that perhaps by blogging I may help others through their own dark places.