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Pressures

Making a film about breasts is hard. It’s as if I’d rather curl up beside them and take their comfort, rather than analyze their role and influence in my life. Our breasts have always mattered, but we didn’t know why. And looking at that question now requires a certain energy and grace that’s being learned and cultivated as a result of asking the question. It has certainly been a time consuming unraveling of everything I’ve known for the last decade – or longer.

My breasts once defined and dictated the relationship I had with my body. They established the general attitude (resignation) on the ‘home front,’ and set the stage for how I held an awareness for other areas of my body. I am sad that I was not taught to feel delight in my breasts which I believe are the gateway for our relationship with our bodies, with our menstrual cycles, our smells, even our pimples. As a 13-14 year old my struggle with my body was epic. Its eruptions, its odors and its protrusions were so humiliating and chaotic and stressful. If only I had been taught to laugh about it, and to learn to discern my individual landscape for guidance and intuitional messages…

That would have been fun; it would have been constructive.

Instead it has taken me 40 years to embrace this wondrous system. It’s good to be home.