Rep of Ireland 0-1 Brazil

Evening all. The arrival of Brazil in Dublin should herald an exhibition of samba dancing from curvy bikini-clad stunnas that hasn't been seen in Croke Park since Offaly contested their last All Ireland hurling final back in 2000. [Minute-by-minute commentator to weep over how long it's been since Offaly contested an All Ireland hurling final.

Don Givens remains in temporary charge of the home team for this glamourous money-spinner, although Leeds assistant manager Stan Staunton's replacement as Ireland manager is expected to be named next week, with the FAI reportedly keen to appoint Giovanni Trappatoni or Didier Deschamps or Terry Venables or Gerard Houllier or Graeme Souness or Liam Brady or Micky Adams or a John Gregory/Bryan Robson dream ticket or Billy Davies or David O'Leary or Sylvester Metcalfe or Michael Flatley or Judge from Wanderly Wagon or whatever wino happens to be asleep in the doorway of FAI HQ on the morning they decide to make their announcement.

Despite having held their own the last time these two sides went through the motions to serve up a scoreless thriller, Ireland come into this game without a win in five games - Wales, Cyprus, Germany's C team, Czech Republic and Slovakia - while Brazil come into it bolstered by the knowledge that they're Brazil, albeit Brazil without Ronaldinho and Kaka, who are both ruled out tonight. The second best team in the Fifa rankings will be mightily revealed that Andy O'Brien and Steve Finnan have joined Stephen Carr in self-imposed, premature international exile and won't be there to stop them scoring lots and lots of goals this evening.

Team news I've pulled from the wires

Don Givens welcomes back Newcastle's Damien Duff for the first time in 10 months after a knee injury while a strong line-up also features captain Robbie Keane partnering Kevin Doyle up front. Brazil's stronger than expected starting line-up includes two Barclays Premier League stars in Alex of Chelsea and captain Gilberto of Arsenal, while Manchester United's Anderson and Liverpool's Lucas Leiva were on the bench.

Click-clack, click-clack, click-clack, click-clack. The teams make their way out on to the hallowed turf of Croke Park, which seems fairly full, with Ireland wearing their usual home strip of green shirts, white shorts and green socks. Brazil are in their trademark yellow shirts, blue socks and white socks. They line up on the red carpet, while I dive off to the news wires to see if anyone's put the Brazil starting XI up yet.

This is quite funny

Because they've brought so many substitutes, many of the Brazil reserves aren't actually sitting in the shelter of the dug-out. Anderson is among the unlucky few sitting with his back exposed to the vagaries of that most tenacious of creatures - the Irish young fella. He is being scourged by children who want him to sign their programmes, but after autographing a few he decided he couldn't be bothered doing any more and, upon being asked to sign more programmes, turned to his fans and gestured that he had no pen. "No matter Anderson, we have pens," they chorused as one, offering him no end of stationary to choose from. He's signing their tat now, but he's not happy about it.

1 min: After a poorly observed minute's silence for the victims of the Munich air disaster (there was an Irishman, Liam Whelan, among the fatalities, but you wouldn't expect some of the knuckleheads in tonight's crowd to know that), Ireland kick off. Damian Duff takes up a position on the right wing, with Aidan McGeady moving to the left. McGeady is a controversial selection this evening, considering he has a lot to prove at international level and was picked ahead of Reading's Stephen Hunt.

4 min: Ireland have got off to the better start, with McGeady skinning his full-back Leonardo Moura twice in quick succession. On the first occasion his cross is feeble, on the second he wins a corner, from which nothing comes.

5 min: Lee Carsley concedes a free-kick just outside the D on the edge of the Ireland penalty area by recklessly bringing down Robinho. Given saves comfortably from ... somebody.

9 min: There's a very large contingent of Brazil fans at this game, many of them quite pleasant on the eye. There also seems to be an awful lot of youngsters in Croke Park tonight, if the shrillness of the screeching any time anything even remotely exciting happens. A spell in the army would do them the world of good.

12 min: "Jaysus Baz, that one in the Offaly/Brazilian jersey must be one of the newly arrived Irish. I haven't seen her like any nights I've been suppin' a pint bottle in Melbas," writes my mate Duff, injecting a much-needed dose of realism into proceedings. For those of you who may not be aware of the fact, Melbas is the name of my hometown of Birr's premier/only nightclub. I went there by mistake a couple of times over Christmas and it hasn't changed much since I first set foot in the place 18 years ago.

13 min: Richard Dunne is very, very, very lucky not to concede a penalty after tripping Diego in the Ireland penalty area.

16 min: A wonderful pass out of defence by Leonardo Moura finds Diego standing near the right touchline. He hoists a high crossfield pass in the general direction of Robinho, who volleys high and wide form the edge of the Ireland penalty area.

19 min: Free-kick for Ireland, to the left of the Brazil penalty area. With everyone congregating at the near post, non-conformist Kevin Kilbane goes to the far one and cushions a header in the direction of Damien Duff, who wins a corner (which is as much as he'll ever win playing for Newcastle). Nothing comes from it.

22 min: "How come the FAI haven't looked at Lawrie Sanchez for Republic Ireland manager. Does managing Northern Ireland make it impossible to ever manage Ireland?" asks George Templeton. There's every chance the FAI have looked at Lawrie Sanchez, George, but he didn't exactly cover himself in glory at Fulham by constantly whining about referees and wittering on about how his team would be top of the Premier League if football matches only lasted 20 minutes.

28 min: Incidents of note in the last six minutes: Brazil won a corner that Diego wasted. This is gripping stuff.

30 min: Leonardo Moura crosses from the right to a queue of waiting Brazilians, but the ball is held up by the wind allowing Ireland time to regroup and clear. I'm not exaggerating, it's a very strong, swirling wind.

31 min: Ireland win a free-kick wide on the left, which is as near as makes no difference to a corner. John O'Shea and Richard Dunne lumber up the field to get in position, only for Liam Miller to send his cross straight into the grateful paws of Julio Cesar. Moments earlier, Fabiano was penalised for offside after being put through on goal. He wasn't - John O'Shea's not inconsiderable girth was keeping him on.

34 min: "Who would you give the Ireland job to?" asks Thomas Nolan. "I'll be gutted if they give it to that spoofer Venables just so he can come over and patronise us with his 'win, lose or draw the Irish will have a party anyway' guff. I'd like to see Trappatoni take over but only with Brady as his assistant so that Brady can go and then take the job full time a couple of years from now. But I know Paddy Agnew and Jimbo Richardson have reservations about 'the defensive Trap' so am I letting my personal dislike for Venables get in the way of what might be a good footballing decision? And is Brady likely to leave the safety of his job with the Arsenal youths for the hotbed of international football management? Where do you sit on all this?"

On an uncomfortable, cheap maroon swivel chair, Thomas. That's where I sit. Although I agree with you on the Venables thing: he's a bit of a spiv, his best days are behind him and I firmly believe that anyone the Irish players want as their manager should automatically be ruled out on the grounds that those boys have no idea what's good for them. Anyway, why on earth would we want Steve McClaren's No2 as our No1? Has it really come to that?

40 min: I'd be lying if I said that neither team had spurned scoring opportunities in the past six minutes, but unfortunately I was too busy ranting about Terry Venables to pay any attention to what was going on. Ooh ... from the edge of the area, Fabiano sents a left-footed shot looping just wide of the top left-hand corner. Close, but no cigar.

43 min: Corner for Brazil, Kevin Doyle clears. Another corner for Brazil ... Ireland clear. This is fairly dull stuff and the wind isn't helping. It seems that Liam Miller is injured and is going off. Ireland are unlikely to send on a replacement until the start of the second half.

Half-time

Half-time "analysis"

"Haven't a bunch of Brazilians migrated to Galway in recent years?" asks Dan Barron, who may well be right as Jeff Stelling has said there's a large contingent of them at the game tonight from Gort in County Galway. "Hopefully they brought some of their kids along. Think in 10-15 years time we'll see a few O'Robinho lining up for the Republic." Fingers crossed, Dan, although if the good people of Gort get their priorities right, they'll have the young Brazilians beating hurling balls up against the gable ends the length and breadth of the town. Perhaps they could ferry some of them down to Cork - their hurlers and gaelic footballers are on strike at the moment.

"I think the wobbly sight of John O'Shea in central defence would be enough to put any right-thinking manager off the Ireland job," writes Hugh Collins. "It's a good thing El Tel is around. If anyone can whip a bunch of egotistical underachievers into shape it's ... oh."

"We live near Croke Park but we didn't have tickets so my wife is out in the garden with her pregnant belly listening to the cheers. To be honest though it's warmer in front of the computer," writes Ronan McDonnell, who appears to have locked his pregnant wife out in the garden ... possibly because she has ears on her belly. Congratulations on the imminent arrival, Ronan ... assuming it's yours.

Second half: Brazil get the second half underway, having sent out the same eleven who started the game. Ireland have made one change, with Darren Potter coming on to replace the injured Liam Miller. Let's hope he can emulate his namesake Harry and inject some magic. I'll get my coat.

47 min: Quick recap: it's been a dour contest played in horrible wind and rain, but Ireland are very lucky to be level after the first half. Brazil haven't had many chances on goal, but they've been by far and away the superior team.

48 min: Robbie Keane threads a wonderful weighted pass through the centre for Damien Duff to chase. The Ireland winger stays onside, but Julio Cesar in the Brazil goal darts of his line and gets down early to save.

51 min: Aiden McGeady wins the ball in central midfield and takes several touches too many before passing to Damien Duff, who is flagged for offside. If McGeady had looked up, seen his team-mate's run and released the ball earlier, Duff would have been clean through on goal again. McGeady's work-rate is impressive, but his final delivery has been very poor tonight. I don't see enough of Celtic to know if tonight is an aberration or business as usual.

53 min: "Barry, I'm sorry, but... 'hurling balls'? The word you so badly want is 'sliotars'. Tell me you are making allowances for a monoglot readership," writes David Handy. I know what a sliotar is, David. I was making allowances for a [minute-by-minute reporter looks up online dictionary, in the process proving he isn't even monoglot] monoglot readership.

61 min: Leonardo Moura gallops down the right wing again, before sending a cross into Fabiano on the edge of the Irish penalty area. The pass is slightly behind the Brazilian forward, but he flicks it forward with his heel, teeing himself up for a thundering volley that Shay Given saves expertly. Great shot, brilliant save.

64 min: Damien Duff tries a shot from distance, which Julio Cesar spills. Robbie Keane is first on the scene, but is flagged for offside.

65 min: With McGeady and Kilbane seemingly AWOL, Leonardo Moura is able to send in crosses at will from the right wing. Once again he sets up Fabiano, who sends a low drive into the side-netting.

GOAL! Ireland 0-1 Brazil (Robinho 66): Robinho picks up the ball just inside the Ireland penalty area on the left-hand side, cuts inside, looks up and caresses a diagonal shot through Lee Carsley's legs and just outside the reach of Shay Given into the bottom right-hand corner. A beautiful finish at the end of a wonderful counter-attacking passing move involving the goal-scorer, Julio Baptista and Fabiano.

70 min: Just as the goal went in, I was halfway through extolling the virtues of this second half compared to the first. That goal has put the tin hat on it - it's been much more enjoyable. Ireland substitution: Kevin Doyle off, Stephen Hunt on.

73 min: "I can confirm that there are hundreds of Brazilians living in Gort who were initially brought over to work in a local meat plant. Whatever about soccer, there has yet to be an explosion in flamboyant Brazilian fancy-deanery in the Galway hurling championship," writes Rob Brophy. Thanks for that factasm, Rob, and if I was you I wouldn't worry about the lack of samba-inspired pyrotechnics in the Galway hurling championship. After all, who needs Brazilian fancy-dannery when you've got Eugene Cloonan?

77 min: "Offaly, eh. It's kind of no wonder it's seldom in an All-Ireland final," writes Julian Gough, who may or may not be the same Julian Gough who used to front Galway rock band Toasted Heretic and is now an award-winning novelist. "It's a bit of a funny shape, isn't it?" he continues. "Sort of a runny ink-blot, made out of all the bits left over after all the real counties were formed. I don't mean to offend, Barry, but half of Offaly is really Tipperary. It's only codding itself it's in Offaly. Did you know Barack Obama's great great great great grandfather, Fulmuth Kearney emigrated from Moneygall in Offaly to New York in 1850, when he was 19? I suppose you did, being a journalist, and from Offaly. I was pleased to find out, though." It's all news to me, Julian. I'm a football hack, not a proper journalist.

81 min: Meanwhile back at the ball game, Stephen Hunt apologises to his team-mates after trying to run the ball out of defence, only to gift it to Robinho, who sent a low drive across the edge of the Irish penalty area that Fabiano only just misses getting on the end of.

83 min: If that is the same Julian Gough who fronted Toasted Heretic, I think he may also have briefly done a line with my sister many, many moons ago back in the early 90s. I should add, that when I say they "done a line", I mean they were an item briefly, not that they snorted cocaine together (although I wouldn't rule that out either, what with him being Mr Rock 'n' Roll). Mr Gough?

87 min: Brazil substitutions I missed: Lucas on for Josue, Anderson on for ... somebody.

88 min: Robbie Keane goes close for Ireland, only to be foiled by a smart save from Julio Cesar. Meanwhile, this from Paddy Reilly: "Not much word from the Brazilian Guardian readers," he observes. "Maybe they're waiting for a relevant link? We had two Brazilians working for us in the Union Bar in the university in Galway a few years back. One was 5ft 3in, 28 years of age and smiled lots. The other was 6ft 5in, 45 years of age and didn't smile at all. I've never seen either of them play soccer, hurling, gaelic football or rugby, so I've no idea if they were any good but, Christ above, the taller lad could pluck a chicken in record time. I often think [FAI president] John Delaney should give that a shot." There's never a dull moment in these minute-by-minute reports, is there?

90 min: Peep! Peep! Peep! The ref brings proceedings to a close and Brazil leave the arena worthy winners. Ireland didn't disgrace themselves and could have nicked an undeserved equaliser towards the end, but the result is irrelevant. The near-capacity crowd that braved the elements got to see a good second-half at least, featuring plenty of excellent tricks and flicks from the visiting Brazilians. Thanks for your time and emails and a good night to one and all.

Addendum: It is the same Julian Gough who used to etc and so on. "I was strictly a glass-of-milk man in those days," he writes. "Although I do write about doing mushrooms in the current Drugs issue of Hot Press."