I’ve come up with a new relationship status for Facebook, Modern Philosophers: My girlfriend is always right.

The next time I see Mark Zuckerberg, I will definitely run this one past him.

It’s a relationship status that I would add to my Facebook page immediately, even without The Sweet Irish Girl telling me to do so. You know, in hopes of impressing her and showing her that I’ve learned my lesson.

As difficult as it might be for you to believe, Modern Philosophers, I screwed up again.

If there were a chalkboard in The House on the Hill, I would’ve spent the afternoon writing My girlfriend is always right over and over on it until even Bart Simpson was impressed.

So you’re probably wondering what in the world I did this time…

A photo of me taken yesterday…

I am an incredible baby when I’m sick. I’m sure any psychiatrist would tell me it is due to the fact that my Mom died when I was three.

I grew up a Motherless Boy, with no one to take care of me when I needed it most.

So even as a grown man, I long to be babied when I’m ill. I actually don’t get sick very often, which I think is because I am well aware that no one will be there to look after me, so there’s no point in even bothering.

Yesterday, I had the Common Christmas Cold. My Sweet Irish Girlfriend begged and pleaded with me to leave work to go home and rest.

This guy, the one with the Film degree who runs around in a toga, told her and her medical background that she was wrong and insisted on staying at work.

What was my mistake here, Modern Philosophers? What had I forgotten?

My girlfriend is always right!

No one puts Baby in the corner, but Austin is put there quite often.

I took some medicine, I went to bed, I didn’t get up early for my run, and I medically cleared myself to go to work today.

Just call me Dr. Austin.

Or The Dunce.

Whichever you prefer.

The Common Christmas Cold, which I thought had passed, morphed into the Festivus Flu somewhere around noon.

This time, when My Sweet And Brilliant Irish Girlfriend told me to go home, I listened.

Not only had I learned my lesson, but it was also obvious that sitting upright in my desk chair wasn’t going to be possible much longer.

There was only one problem…

An unexpected snow had arrived to darken my day, and we all know about my ridiculous fear of driving in those weather conditions.

While I desperately wanted to heed my girlfriend’s advice and go home, the thought of driving, in what was a heavy snow at the time, only made my stomach worse.

The Sweet Irish Girl pointed out that driving in the snow while it was still early afternoon was much better than driving in it when it was pitch black after work.

And something immediately occurred to me…

My girlfriend is always right.

A photo of me from earlier this afternoon…

So I drove home.

After cleaning the snow off Zombie Car on a day when I hadn’t worn gloves or a hat.

I swerved on the highway once on the drive home because it was slick and hadn’t been plowed or sanded yet, but I made it home alive.

And feeling like death.

Bah Humbug, Festivus Flu!

My Sweetheart talked to me on the phone almost all afternoon, which was definitely what this big baby needed.

I even took my temperature when she demanded, and promised to stay home tomorrow if I am still airing my grievances with the Festivus Flu.

That’s progress, right?

You know what I learned today, Modern Philosophers? Being sick isn’t so bad when somebody loves you and is willing to put up with your nonsense.

20 Responses to My Girlfriend Is Always Right

Wow. This post was funny, but I’m sorry about your mother. After having Hannah to take care of me when I was sick recovering from cancer, this last time in the hospital (less than a week ago) was a very scary time for me because it was the first time I’d really been sick since she was alive. I ended a friendship over one of my friends not really being there for me during it. So I know how you feel about wanting to be taken care of. I think even without the mother thing, we all use when we are at our sickest as sort of a litmus test for how someone cares about us. Glad your girlfriend is looking out for you.

I was refusing to pity your cold, having been lumbering around the last few days until vacation in complete denial myself… then I saw the icy car and my heart softened a little. I am glad you made it home safe – being under the weather like that. So happy you have a sweet Irish girlfriend to steer you right.

Haha, love is beautiful and caring and warm conversations on sick afternoons. Glad you got home safe, driving in snow is the worst. Also, your girlfriend is ALWAYS right, even when she’s wrong, because she can’t be, because she’s always right! 😉