www.InBedwithJoan.com.au - "Pillow Talk" blog

A married woman may dream of getting a divorce either when there is a momentary wish to do so or when she is “divorcing” herself from a particular situation or person. When a single woman – or one who is engaged; dreams of divorce, she may be warning herself against a certain relationship.

To dream of one of your friends getting a divorce suggests there is something for the dreamer to gain from this action. As always, the dreamer must ponder what the characters represent. One should also consider whether one of the marital partners who is getting divorced is of romantic interest to the dreamer. If so, the dreamer may be hoping the couple will break up so that she will have a chance.

Whether married or single, a woman’s dreams of divorce sometimes have little to do with love or marriage. Instead divorce dreams may refer to a wish to separate from a job, or from some problematical aspect of life that is no longer productive. The dreamer needs to contemplate the symbols of the dream carefully in order to decipher the meaning that applies.

Listen well to your dreams. They are a barometer of your inner emotions. They will tell you where your heart is at the moment. Only you will know if it is a passing feeling or an ongoing state that requires action. If you are troubled with nightmares about your mate that become worse or more frequent, seek professional counseling. You will be more able to judge whether your issues can be resolved or whether you and your spouse are better off apart.

School experiences are the most formative in life, and appear frequently even in the dreams of elderly people. Sometimes the dream relates to specific happenings that still fill the dreamer with remembered pride or (more often) embarrassment, but sometimes it uses a generic school as a metaphor to convey its message. Dreams of finding, oneself back at school, but demoted to a lower level, or stripped of some coveted responsibility, symbolise childhood insecurities that have still not been resolved.

In addition to the school setting, school personnel may also feature in dreams. The school teacher is a classic symbol for authority, and may represent the father or mother, or elder sibling, or the dreamer’s love for or fear of those who have determined the course of his or her life. Alternatively, a school teacher may stand for that censoring aspect of the dreamer’s personality that keeps the more unruly impulses in check.

Dreams in which the dreamer is summoned to the head teacher’s study may signify inferiority, guilt, or simply a dread of having one’s misdeeds found out. Being publicly praised by a teacher, or being awarded a school prize, or winning a sporting fixture may illustrate the dreamer’s belief, or need for belief, in his or her abilities.

Remember, these dreams often occur when you are facing a ‘test’ of some dimension connected to your waking life, like getting together a new CV for a career move or anything of that nature.
Someone may be ‘testing’ you to the brim so that’s when the dreams of school tend to pop up.

That there is good ground for belief. In some omens seems indisputable – though whether this has arisen as of result of experience, by the happening of some particular event close upon the heels of signs observed – or whether it has been an intuitive science in which premonition has been used to affect an interpretation, is not quite clear.

It seems idle to attempt to dismiss the whole subject as one of mere superstition, guessing, or abject credulity, as some people try to do. The fact remains that omens in numerous cases have been found to give useful warnings. To say that these are just mere coincidences, is to beg the question, for the universe is governed by laws set and fixed as the universe itself. There is no such thing as accident or coincidence in these laws, they conform to fixed rules.
We may not be able to see the steps or recognise the connections, but that does not mean that they are non-existent.
Many observances have been made into omens, which to disobey is supposed to bring trouble.
For instance, for a bride, a maid should marry only in white, while a widow should always choose colours, but not green, black or yellow. (No mention of divorcees!!)
Brides should not choose the month of May, nor the thirteenth of the month.
If a flight of birds is seen on the way to the church, it is an indication of a large family.
To meet a funeral on the way to a wedding is considered a bad sign; one of speedy separation, or at least many quarrels.
“Blessed is the bride that the sun shines on,” has become a proverbial omen, and even on a dull day, if the sun emerges suddenly from behind a cloud, it is a good sign, while if it shines on the altar during the service; it denotes future prosperity and connubial bliss. (Thank heavens for that!)
To most people all these omens are considered as old fashioned superstitions, yet many secretly believe in them though they outwardly deride them, and these people will often wear either openly or hidden in their clothes or bags , some mascot that they consider will avert the ill luck, or bring them good fortune.
I have a special little tiny statue from Notre Dame which I can’t live without!!
Final one for you is – Never tell a dream before breakfast and never relate a Friday’s dream if bad! The proverb runs “Friday’s dream on Saturday told, is sure to come true before nine days old”.
Don’t you just love it!!! I had to share these with you – ENJOY!!!

When an aerobics instructor had a menacing dream that seemed so real she thought it was actually happening. A week later, she almost died from a serious illness. How prophetic dreams occur still can’t be explained, but one theory is that during dream-sleep the active mind can register changes in the body before your waking mind becomes aware of them.

This aerobics instructor is interesting, she said whenever I described the man who appeared to me in this dream, people shivered and told me that he must have been the Grimm Reaper!; at the time I saw him, I probably would have agreed. The way he looked and made me feel was absolutely terrifying; he was dressed in a monk’s habit and was commanding me to go with him.

I now know that this ‘monk’ came to me for a particular reason – to warn me how close I was to death. The way I chose to react to his warning was the key to my survival. It all happened 21 years ago when I was married to my first husband. We were living in a bungalow with our two children and our marriage was going through a rough patch. As well as being cold and distant, my husband was having affairs. He tried to hide them from me but I knew intuitively that he was cheating on me.

Some of the details of the affairs came to me while I was asleep. I dreamed, for example, that he had given a blonde woman a necklace – which turned out to be true –I felt lonely, worthless and unwanted, but I never told anyone, not even my family. My physical health was worrying me too. I had excruciating tummy pains but my doctor insisted there was nothing wrong with me.

Then strange things started happening, taps in the bathroom going on and water gushing out, lights going on and off, the front door rattling as if someone was trying to get in, I was terrified as I tried to sleep. When I said ‘No’ to the monk and would not go with him I woke up next morning feeling stronger than I had for ages. However, I was rushed to emergency when my pains became unbearable and was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease.

The monk’s warning and my subsequent illness made me realise how important it was to look after my physical and emotional health and to learn to love myself more. I’d had enough of being a wimp and to my husband’s dismay I filed for a divorce. My work as a dance teacher and aerobics instructor got me through a very tough time.

The monk in my dream has continually helped me get through tough times and has had such a profound effect on my life – whenever I feel low, I would dream of being embraced and comforted by a lovely man. I met him when I was looking for a place to hold my dance classes and now he is my husband!!

I want you to know that my unusual dream made me made me think more deeply about how our physical and spiritual well-being are both linked.

I have been observing lately just what are our Australian Brides about?

I went to an event that featured this gentleman from Los Angeles, Preston Bailey, by all accounts quite a popular figure in the world of Bridal Event Management! I was excited to go and enter a world that dominates our young women and even our older women here in Sydney.The girls were all of a ‘gaggle’ before he came on stage at the lovely Docklands Venue.
Well, he showed videos of his famous friends from LA, like Joan Rivers, and her daughter’s wedding event, where they had perched huge cut outs of – wait for it –COWS – on smallish tables – In my opinion, not even funny, just revolting – why would anyone like that for their wedding – ???
However it takes all kinds, as they say.
There were many other videos of weddings highly and overly decorated with flowers and more flowers and then huge pillars and gargantuan settings for the bride and groom.

A Second Marriage Maybe!

This gentleman has written several books related to this subject and obviously an expert but I feel he should be with MGM and stick to movies because none of the videos showed personalities of the bride or groom. Maybe they didn’t have any!
So where am I at? Well I think it’s time for our Aussie brides to deliver some exciting creations and stimulate the wedding scene with their ideas and desires to become more interesting as BRIDES!

Not just the long white dress that is so yesterday! I see racks of them in stores and in the bride-to-be goes to find THAT dress that maybe Jess had at her wedding!
PLEASE its time to change and get excitingly bridal – I can help if you wish – check out my pics – I know that they are’ extravagant’ and’ over the top’ but you must start somewhere or your little girls will continue this BORING experience!

Here is a dream about a Dream Man – Is he the man she should marry?
LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM THAT I GOT MARRIED. AFTER THE WEDDING THE MAN I MARRIED AND I WENT ON OUR HONEYMOON INTO THE COUNTRY. WE WERE BOTH SITTING ON A HILLSIDE LOOKING AT THE VIEW – HE WAS SITTING TO MY RIGHT AND I WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM JUST GAZING AT HIM. ALL THAT I CAN REMEMBER IS THAT HE WAS WEARING A GREY COAT AND HE WAS BIG AND HAD SHORT GOLDEN HAIR.
ITS STRANGE BECAUSE TWO YEARS AGO I LIVED IN THE COUNTRY AND WAS SEEING SOMEONE WHO FITS THE DESCRIPTION OF THE MAN IN MY DREAM – HE RANG ME RECENTLY AND ASKED ME TO CONSIDER A LONG DISTANT RELATIONSHIP – SHORTLY AFTER THAT, ONE OF HIS FRIENDS RANG ME AND TOLD ME THAT HE WANTED TO MARRY ME (THE FRIEND I WAS GOING OUT WITH) – HE IS 19 AND I AM 18 WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DOES THIS DREAM MEAN SOMETHING ABOUT MY FUTURE?Well I would say he is THE one for you – but I don’t know all the details but why not continue your friendship/relationship and see how it goes! Enjoy!

As in all areas of dreaming, we cannot be dogmatic about interpretations – the same dream may indicate the destructive nature of a current relationship to one person, but suggest the need to discard old behaviour patterns to another. The exact meaning can only be found through the usual methods of direct association and, if necessary amplification.

If you decide that a dream character actually represents the partner or person concerned, think carefully about whether his or her dream behaviour represents hidden attitudes toward you. Because the dream is your creation, it is more likely to be showing you your own unacknowledged insecurities, or drawing your attention to something you may have noticed about the relationship but chosen to ignore.

Thus coldness and withdrawal in a partner’s dream persona may highlight your own fears of losing his or her love, and suggest that you look at ways to build up trust or lay anxieties to rest.

When a relationship ends, or when a loved one dies, we often have recurring dreams of losing him or her in a crowded place or in a lonely landscape. Although these dreams can make us feel sad, they actually help us accept the parting of the ways.

Dreams can also draw attention to people who are potentially important in our lives, by featuring them prominently – and often unexpectedly. Our conscious mind may have recognised an overlooked potential for shared friendship or interests.

In much the same way, dreams can draw our attention to someone of whom we should be wary.

Well when you dream of a horse (which I imagine will be very prominent in 2014) it generally symbolises humankind’s harnessing of the wild forces of nature; a winged or flying horse can represent the “unleashing of energy for psychological or spiritual growth”.

In Freudian interpretation, a “wild horse” represents the dreaded, terrifying aspect of the alter ego.

A dream of riding a horse may be connected to your sex life.

If you were fearless and enjoying yourself, it would seem that you are enjoying a rewarding relationship in waking life.

On the other hand if you were apprehensive or nervous of falling, consider taking action to improve this sphere of your life, you may be suffering from some inhibition, or be unable to commit yourself to a partner.

Speaking of this Chinese New Year 2014 and the significance of the Horse, we must also check out the famous colour for every year of the Chinese and that is the colour “RED!”.

Red is the colour of heat, passion, fire and anger. If the colour red features in your dream, it may mean that you are feeling extremely angry about a problem or about someone’s behaviour.

In addition, because there is a relationship between red and energy, you should consider whether you are burning your energy in the most rewarding way.

The dream may be hinting that you should be more energetic in waking life.

Have you ever thought about your dreams seriously? Well it’s time to unlock the potential that you have been hiding from yourself!

According to many Eastern traditions, dreams are insights of a “third eye” located in the forehead, just above and between the physical eyes. Touching this third eye with sandalwood oil or clear water before sleep is said to help it to see more clearly.

Here are some steps you might like to engage in! These steps will help you to stimulate lucidity during sleep.

1. Close your eyes and rest your concentration on the space behind your eyelids. Create a triangle there, with your eyes at the base and a point just above and between them –

2. Move the focus of your concentration up the sides of the triangle which you now sense is a third eye. Allow the vision of a door to appear to this eye.

3. Watch as it opens to reveal the scene beyond. Step through the door and into the scene, knowing that you can return whenever you wish. Explore.. what you find is maybe a landscape, a town, or a forest.

4. At the end of this exercise walk back through the door and look back to see it close and fade behind you. Re-establish the triangle with which you started this exercise and shift the focus of your concentration from the third eye to your physical eyes at the base. You are now back in normal reality, open your eyes to see your normal surroundings.

5. Before you go to sleep, run through the exercise again. See the door before you, and watch it open a little, and then stop. Instruct your dreaming mind to open it fully and enter lucidly into the dream world beyond.

THIS IS A DREAM EXERCISE

– YOU MUST TAKE A MENTAL PORTRAIT

Imagine you are a photographer standing on a hillside, and about to take a picture across a valley of the scene on the opposite side. Set up your tripod, look through the view finder and focus the camera. Get ready to release the shutter, and then you watch as a figure walks into the scene and leans upon a gate or a fence looking across at you.

There is something familiar about the other person… You recognise with astonishment that it is you yourself. Immediately, you find that you are the figure, looking across at a photographer on the hillside, who is about to take a picture.

You realise that there is something familiar about the photographer: it is yourself. Immediately, you find yourself once more on the hillside, preparing to take a picture of the scene opposite, which includes a figure nonchalantly leaning on a fence or a gate watching you.

Allow this switching between the photographer and the figure to take place several times. Finally, become the photographer, and watch as the figure opposite turns around, walks away and disappears from view. Take a picture of the empty scene, and feel your consciousness firmly located back within yourself.

Once you begin to understand a Dream Exercise you will become more adept at it – takes practice – after all!

Diana’s dreams were very similar to our dreams and one that is especially connected to us all is her dream of childhood insecurity.

Diana was a very fit person. She especially loved swimming and going to the gym, so I was surprised when she told me of a recurring nightmare she had suffered from as a child. Where she couldn’t walk or run anywhere and was only able to move in slow motion.

The setting of the dream was a hot summer day. Diana was standing alone on a long deserted road, with a heat haze shimmering in the distance. She could feel the sun blazing down upon her as she noticed a sinister figure running towards her through the haze. Diana felt that the figure was going to “get” her; she tried to run away but found that she couldn’t – her legs wouldn’t work. It was as much as she could do to slowly drag herself into the grass verge on the side of the road to hide, forcing her unwilling legs to move painfully slowly.

‘I don’t know when I first had this dream’, she told me. ‘Probably around ten or twelve years old, but even remembering it makes me feel heavy with anxiety’. Now that she was older Diana told me she thought the message from this dream was that she was powerless when confronted with other people’s hostility. I told her, ‘That may have been the case when you were younger, but it’s not how it is today, is it?’

I went through the aspects of the dream and told her that as a child we all have the insecurity dreams of running and slow motion and fear. These dreams seem to hang around with us until we face up to the fact that we can conquer problems ourselves instead of having to rely upon our family or friends. The positive message in her dream was her strength to move to the side of the road to get away from the danger she felt.

I know that Diana had had a long battle to establish a healthy ego and to design her persona exactly as she wanted it to be.

Diana told me that she had had some dreams about her teeth falling out around the time of her engagement. ‘It was a horrible dream’, she said. ‘I didn’t like it. I was so relieved when I woke up and found that my teeth were all still in place!’.

I replied, ‘People have that dream all over the world. The details vary from person to person but usually it includes the sensation of catching your teeth as they fall out of your mouth. Did you catch your teeth?’

‘Yes, and it wasn’t very pleasant at all,’ she said.

‘Our teeth signify our independent self-image, our communication and our nourishment. When teeth fall out in a dream, the image may be connected to a deflated self-image or a fear of old age or impotence (not in your case though). These dreams can also alert us to insufficiencies in our diet. Actors and actresses experience this dream quite often and its thought that it relates to them having to change identity so often – and also that this identity is so often expressed through different ways of speaking and different accents.

In your case, I would say that it’s to do with your sudden visibility in the eyes of the world – you would have been feeling very aware of your image and how you appeared to those around you who were scrutinising your every move. It could have represented your concerns about your lack of communication skills at that time and perhaps an unconscious fear of ageing, too.

Ma’am I would also suggest that you should have a dental check-up because this could be the subliminal message from your dream!’

During my second visit to Kensington Palace, Diana remarked on my Chanel boots, which had the CC’s intertwined in a badge pn the front. She said to me,’Well, Joan, I am glad to see that you have worn your Charles and Camilla’s!’

I laughed and said ‘What about your shoes Ma’am?’

‘These are my tart shoes’ she replied. They were high heeled Christian Dior sling backs. ‘They are my Charles and Diana’s!’ she said, laughing. She then told me that she often dreamt about shoes, and asked me what it meant to see them in your dreams.

‘Were they women’s shoes?’ I asked and she said ‘Yes, and they were all lined up in twos and they were in a huge department store window – they were all different colours and there were two pairs that attracted me very much but they were odd, the colours didn’t match.’

‘What do shoes mean to you?’ ‘I love them,’ Diana said ‘and I have oodles of pairs of shoes!’

“Just like Imelda Marcos?’ ‘No, not as many as her’, she said giggling.

‘Well it must have felt frustrating in your dream if you couldn’t get the shoes you wanted?’

‘Yes, it was and I was getting quite annoyed.’

Shoes in dreams symbolise our external image. You more than most people must always be conscious of how you appear to the outside world. Your dreams reflect this. The shoes in the shop window were somehow not available to you and this could indicate that you were not taking the opportunities that surrounded you at the time of your dream. Shoes are very feminine dream symbols and are related to sexuality. Hats and gloves are the same. You are a fashion icon, so let’s face it; You always get the shoes you want! But in your dream the shoes you liked were not paired up properly .Dreaming of things in pairs signifies a matching up, a balancing of male and female. In your case, Ma’am, the pairs didn’t match’.

After this analysis, I also offered a little practical advice: Always try to remember what happened on th

e day of the dream – this helps sort out the subliminal messages from the subconscious messages. You may have been out shopping for shoes on the day of your dream and this dream was just a “pick-up” on events that happened that day.’

Women’s shoes are sometimes associated with a dominant sexuality on the part of the dreamer – but if the shoe or shoes are uncomfortable, then there is something in the dreamer’s life that just does not ‘fit’!.

From Larry King’s book “The People’s Princess” Manolo Blahnik comments that Diana was beautiful in every sense, inside as much as out, and had an aura that made her unique.

Princess Diana with Sonia Gandhi (L), wife of assassinated Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, at her New Delhi residence February 11, 1992.

It was a privilege for me to have seen her working with charities, and they was she addressed the people she cared for will stay with me forever.