How to be The Guy Fieri of Everything You Do

Be the Blackjack dealer at your own Flavor Town casino.

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If anyone channels their inner Guy Fieri on a regular basis, it’s me. I mean, no one does Guy Fieri better than Guy Fieri, but, as a girl with a framed picture of him on my coffee table, I can confidently say that I am one of his biggest fans.

People who come over question why I would have his picture sitting on my coffee table. My roommate evenquestioned my morale when I told her it was going in our living room. I have always been a fan of the notorious “Diners Drive-Ins and Dives,” and of course, “Guy’s Grocery Games.” I often find myself referring to my kitchen as “Flavor Town,” and every time I go to my hairdresser I consider bleaching my tips. Living like a true Fierian takes skills and time, so I have taken the liberty of compiling some advice for any future Fierian’s out there.

1. When referring to a place, always put the word “flavor” in front of it.

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For example: “Suh dude, you going to the Flavor Club later?”

2. Bleach your tips.

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(This is not optional.)

3. ONLY wear sunglasses on the back of your head, so people know you are always watching them.

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Only wear them when in contact with sunlight, after crying from eating something too spicy (which is rare), or if they have flames on them.

4. NEVER regret eating anything.

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Food is glorious. Food is everything. Food is a way of life.

5. Make bizarre noises when you eat said food. The louder the better.

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Make sure to get some food in your bleached beard too, it adds to your character.

6. Exert copious amounts of self confidence.

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You are the President of The United States of Flavor. You sell cookware at Target. You. Are. Guy Fieri.

7. Drive a cool, vintage, muscle car.

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Just don’t be seen in the same one twice and be sure to have a camera crew follow you down a highway at all times.

8. Invest in approximately 43 Hawiian type shirts with flames on them and find ways to incorporate flames into every aspect of your home.