Cuttlefish Tip Jar

EVENTS

“You have to admit, this sounds pretty far-fetched”

Ok, last one. I promise. But these things are like heroin to someone like me…

You have to admit, this sounds pretty far-fetchedCertum est, quia impossibileBut my mem-o-ry has it indelibly etchedCertum est, quia impossibileThere once was a garden, with Adam and EveAlong came a serpent, with plans to deceive—What part of this tale am I s’posed to believe?Certum est, quia impossibile

Lot’s Wife was transformed to a pillar of saltCertum est, quia impossibileThe bible implies she herself was at faultCertum est, quia impossibileThe sinning in Sodom, it made the Lord sore-eyedShe didn’t obey; now she’s sodium chloride—A message which all of the “sinners of yore” eyedCertum est, quia impossibile

Some children once pestered a man with no hairCertum est, quia impossibileWho prayed for revenge, and so God sent two bearsCertum est, quia impossibileWhich mauled all the kids in a terrible fightAnd killed every one, with a blow or a bite,So that next time, the children will act more politeCertum est, quia impossibile

Then God gave us Jesus, to die for our sinsCertum est, quia impossibileTo re-write the books, so a new age beginsCertum est, quia impossibileAnd Jesus was tortured and nailed to a crossTo render us clean, through his terrible loss(Or maybe his dad was just showing who’s boss)Certum est, quia impossibile

And ever since then, why, the message has spreadCertum est, quia impossibileThat mankind will live, because Jesus was deadCertum est, quia impossibileI have to believe them, they urge and implore,For ethics, for morals, for peace evermore…Then battle each other, in bloodthirsty warCertum est, quia impossibile