I keep waiting for Steve Job’s introduction of Apple’s iGadget line, supposedly already in prototype production. According to rumors I’m making up and circulating, the iGadget line is intended to be a complete lifestyle suite of gadgets, accessories, and apps to improve our i-lives. I secured this incomplete list of products from my imagination.

iWipe: Revolutionary case for iPad, iPhone, & iPod, made from the legendary shammy material for superior absorption. Great for wiping your kids’ faces (and any number of surfaces) while waiting for a page to load. A multi-tasker’s dream!

iPlod: Dial-up version of your favorite Apple products.

iPoop: Place this handy device near your baby’s diaper. It’s high tech array of sensors detects deposits, monitors localized humidity levels and can even determine remaining diaper absorption capacity when synched with Apple’s line of iDiaper. (Compatible with iWipe.)

iSteer: App that synchs with your car’s on-board to computer, allowing you to drive your car using your beloved phone or pad or touch. Makes it easier and safer to text while driving! Upgade to the 3G version, and you can hit your local Mickey D’s drive-through without leaving the house!

iPlunge: Apple produces a scuba diver’s line for use underwater.

iDisappear: A little gift for that friend who claims to never lose anything, just to prove him wrong.

iFork: Featuring Apple’s signature styling, this device tests for temperature, spice content, and texture. Customize with your preferences to determine if a food matches your pallet or is too tough for your teeth. Know if you’ll like something before having to put in your mouth! Comes factory installed with a Dietitian app that can keep track of caloric levels and intake.

iFind: Gadget to help you locate all of your iGadgets.

What other items might Jobs and the gang at Apple come up with, besides these?