And if you have five seconds to spare, I'll tell you the story of my life...

Sunday, December 12, 2004

My public service announcement for today:
If you can help it, never take a job where you have to interact with parents of young children. While a lot of the parents I deal with are actually very nice and easy to work with--the parents that suck REALLY suck. They suck out loud. They suck on toast. They suck so hard they blow. I'm being redundant, but I don't really know a more eloquent way of putting it. Mostly because I'm pissed.

This bitch just comes in this morning (yes, I have to work on Sundays, which sucks in itself), ranting about how she didn't receive a flyer about the third grade program in the mail (don't ask--it's too boring to go into). I know for a fact that I mailed one out to this ho-bag, because I recognize her name and she gets all the mailings that go to third grade parents, but to try to correct the situation I gave her an extra copy of the flyer. That still didn't satisfy her, she kept harping on it, saying "I'd really like to get receive these things, you know, because it affects me." I just nodded and smiled, then she goes "Who's in charge of mailing these out, anyway." I said, very calmly, "I am, actually. And I know that I sent one out to you--I'm sorry that you didn't receive it." So she just sort of huffed and stomped away with her unibrow and her bitchface, because she's dumb. Then the executive director of the Temple, who's here with me on Sunday and who is awesome (can she be my boss? Please?) grabbed a copy of Bitch Woman's address and followed her down the hall. Exec. Director caught up with her and confirmed that we indeed had Bitchwad's correct address, we did send her a flyer, it's not our fault that she's too lazy to read her damn mail, and she needs to shut it. (I love Exec. Director).

I'm sure I haven't heard the last of Unibrowed Bitch though. Next time her mail mysteriously disappears, I'm sure she'll be marching her ugly ass straight to me to whine about it, at which time I will stick my foot so far up her ass she won't even enjoy it. Can I just say how sick I am of people like her, because they infest my workplace like cockroaches. They fuck up, forget something, get their wires crossed (or they're just plain stupid), but God forbid they take responsibility for anything. With Unibrow and her ilk, it's always someone else's fault, someone else screwed them over, their dog ate their mail, etc. etc. etc. It's like dealing with infants--infants who can walk and talk blame and everything's about MEMEMEMEMEME. Fuck 'em. I'm sick of it.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I have a few questions. First of all, Mandy Moore and Britney have been in the public consciousness for what, five years tops? And now it's time for them to start vomiting up Best of/Greatest Hits albums? What's next, a Lifetime Achievement award for Beyonce? (And at the risk of sounding like an old fogey who just doesn't "get it," I'd like to point out what a stupid name Beyonce is. Clearly, her parents were high). Also, Kelly Clarkson is still around? Ditto Clay Aiken (who?)? As for Jessica Simpson, (or J.Simp, as they call her over at Fametracker) she totally looks like a porn star on the cover of that Christmas album. I caught her Christmas "variety" special last week out of morbid curiousity. It was pretty damned hilarious, especially when she sang--that chick opens her mouth so wide she looks like a python trying to swallow a rabbit. (I wonder if her jaw comes unhinged, too? Icky thought.)

The good news is that Duran Duran, U2, Rod Stewart, Gwen Stefani and Elliott Smith (even though he's dead) all have new albums out, and Barenaked Ladies and Chris Isaak have just released holiday compilations, so there's at least a few options for oldsters like me this season. Not that I've bought any yet, but that's what gift certificates are for.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Dammit, dammit, dammit. Okay, here's the lowdown on why I missed posting on Saturday (1st anniversary of the blog), because I know people are all broken up about it.

My plan was to sneak in to work late Saturday afternoon when no one was here ('cause they gave me a key. SUCK-ERS!) but I drive into the parking lot and see not only the maintenance guy's truck--(no biggie, he doesn't give a turd)--but also the car belonging to one of the Big Cheese types here at the Temple. So I wimped out and didn't come in--and by that point the library (my other internet/computer source) was a half hour from closing time so I decided to scrap the whole plan. Just another glaring reminder that I NEED a laptop, dammit! I'm going to bite the bullet and do something drastic like sell my eggs or something to get the money for one. It's not a luxury anymore--it's become a necessity.

So next post I'll add the fun new feature to the blog (whatever that may be) and give a report on my (semi-eventful) weekend.

Friday, December 03, 2004

I just realized that tomorrow marks the first anniversary of this blog! I feel like marking the occasion in some way. Maybe by going out and getting drunk tonight? Just kidding. I'll probably do that anyway. Seriously though, I think I'll celebrate by adding a new feature to my blog. Something fun. Tune in tomorrow to see what it is.