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Wait, hitler wasn't an enfj was he? Anyway what u wrote kinda reminds me of racism or being prejudice, but with types instead do u have anything nice to say about an enfj is so please counteract what you send with something nice please! We are going backwards in this thread!

You are open, genuine, complimentary,engaging, polite and generally concerned that people are comfortable in your presence.
And this is called fake??

I disagree..

It's simply humanity VS the animals.

Choose your side well.

People who are fake themselves are more likely to interpret others as fake. It is the genuine person who often assumes genuineness in others. Even people who have been on the negative receiving end of "fakeness" will have internalized it in some way. That is typically how a behavior is learned. So by encountering fakeness, feeling hurt or violated by it, the next phase is anger, and the next step is to feel entitled to make snap judgments about others, and finally to punish these "lesser humans" which often results in becoming precisely a mirror image of this "lesser human". This same process applies to any destructive character trait. The process leads to a sense of false superiority rather than understanding the initial perpetrator. Anger and fear lead to blindness instead of insight. It is almost a strangely inverted empathy when a person actually becomes what they hate instead of working towards a deeper understanding the behavior they reject.

The people who rage against entire categories of unknown persons as fake raise a red flag in my mind. There are many reasons why people would do this and there are not certain conclusions to be drawn from a single occurrence, but that attitude implies they are engulfed in the above process and I would need much more data before I could trust them to be sincere.

People who are fake themselves are more likely to interpret others as fake. It is the genuine person who often assumes genuineness in others. Even people who have been on the negative receiving end of "fakeness" will have internalized it in some way. That is typically how a behavior is learned. So by encountering fakeness, feeling hurt or violated by it, the next phase is anger, and the next step is to feel entitled to make snap judgments about others, and finally to punish these "lesser humans" which often results in becoming precisely a mirror image of this "lesser human". This same process applies to any destructive character trait. The process leads to a sense of false superiority rather than understanding the initial perpetrator. Anger and fear lead to blindness instead of insight. It is almost a strangely inverted empathy when a person actually becomes what they hate instead of working towards a deeper understanding the behavior they reject.

The people who rage against entire categories of unknown persons as fake raise a red flag in my mind. There are many reasons why people would do this and there are not certain conclusions to be drawn from a single occurrence, but that attitude implies they are engulfed in the above process and I would need much more data before I could trust them to be sincere.

Take off the 4 letters and what you posted could apply to anyone- and that means you. ENFPs are as capable of being fake as anyone else. They're human.

Definitely. Which is the point. No one likes being manipulated. I'm not big on calling people fake, but when I come to realization that someone is just messing with me I have this deep pain, and next...a deep hate.

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Wait, hitler wasn't an enfj was he? Anyway what u wrote kinda reminds me of racism or being prejudice, but with types instead do u have anything nice to say about an enfj if so please counteract what you send with something nice please! We are going backwards in this thread!

Definitely. Which is the point. No one likes being manipulated. I'm not big on calling people fake, but when I come to realization that someone is just messing with me I have this deep pain, and next...a deep hate.

I apologize, but thats not what I meant. I was pointing out "fakeness" or any of that sort of behavior is lame. Jaguar put it best, as manipulative behavior doesn't know types, it knows humans.

I think both ENFJs and INFJs (yes, my own type) can have this problem. It's not one of our prouder suits, but I've seen people of both types put on masks, compliment and hang out with people they can't stand. It's not to say these are the only types that do that, and NFJs tend to do it with the intention of not hurting other people.

There are some people I can't stand but can wear a mask of approval around them. If they knew how I really felt about them they'd either be deeply hurt inside, angry or both. It's usually because I don't want to hurt their feelings or be in conflict with them when it's not necessary. INFJs are great at hiding things if we feel an incentive to do so. We'll complain to our trusted allies but it'll stay there. We also use people as chess pieces sometimes to get what we want.

Originally Posted by HollyGolightly

My mother is ENFJ. I used to be annoyed by her as she came across as insincere sometimes. Other people didn't notice it but because I know her so well I did and it really narked me. But you have to stop and think, why are they doing that? My mother just wants to be loved. That's all. And she is just trying to please people. She's not doing it because she's manipulative and is trying to get things out of people and hurt them. She just wants to be liked. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I do it sometimes myself.

I pretend a lot at the office. I kind of dislike all of my co-workers ha. I have nothing against the type of people they are in general, I think they're nice ladies...but I'm bored as fuck of them always talking about stuff I could care less about like 'real tv,' babies and exchanging recipes. Anyhow, the point is I still at times have to join in their conversations and pretend I give importance to the stuff they do. Why do I play along with them (as an INFP)? To avoid conflict, hurt feelings and getting written up at work, primarily for demeaning someone ha. Why would an xNFJ do this? Most likely for the same reasons I would, except they may give more weight to the desire of being well liked and having a place of belonging amongst their peers etc. That's something I care less about, I don't desire to fit into a group of people I don't have much in common with who I may find boring...rather be alone. I also would rather pretend I'm busy and try to avoid engaging with my co-workers, than have to sit through one of their lame convos smiling and pretending I give a damn.