11 Pathetic Gadgets Announced At CES That You Absolutely Do Not Need

07/01/2014 10:59
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Updated
23 January 2014

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Huffington Post UK

JOE KLAMAR via Getty Images

There are some good gadgets on show at CES 2014 in Las Vegas. There is also a metric ton of useless tat.

Here are 11 examples of gadgets announced this year that you absolutely do not need to spend money to acquire, unless your name is Brewster and you're engaged in some kind of madcap money-wasting stunt in order to wrangle yet more millions from a sadistically worded legacy, in the 1980s.

We repeat: do not buy these gadgets. You are fine as you are. You will get them home and unpack them and cry.

11. Sony Tennis Sensor

Sony's new gadget promises to monitor your backhand and tell you if you're playing well. You do not need this because tennis has a built-in "am I playing well?" monitor. It's called the score.

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10. Goji Smart Lock

The Goji Smart Lock takes a photo of visitors at your front door so you can see who is there. You do not need this, because all doors also have the ability to open, thus providing visual access to the person beyond without using electricity.

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9. Withings Aura Active Sleep

This gadget promises a "next generation" of sleep thanks to its lights, and alarms, and doodads. Oh and an app. You do not need this, you need a better mattress, ear plugs and a cup of hot cocoa.

8. Flexible TVs

Samsung and LGs new TVs are bendy. You do not need this, because your wall is not bendy and your eyes are not bendy and a distorted, warped image is not more immersive, whatever electrical megacorp executives and Hollywood directors inexpertly claim.