Every person has pain in their past, because they were victimized by somebody else. It has happened in this current life and in the lives of our ancestors. If the pain caused due to "evil" acts like oppression, rape, murder, abuse, stealing, etc. they are unacceptable. I do not condone these actions. However I also don't want these incidents to bog us down and rob us from our happiness and so preventing us to create a bright future for ourselves and our children.

Why Do We Get Stuck in Anger?Physiologically it is impossible to feel two emotions at the same time. This means that every time we are angry, because we choose to dwell on our painful past from ourselves or ancestors, we are preventing ourselves from being happy. Why do so many people like to hold on to their pain?We can find the answer to this question by looking look at Steve Hawkins Map of Consciousness.

If we are stuck in any feeling below anger, like shame, guilt, apathy, feeling hopeless or in despair, then anger (including frustration, resentment, hatred, etc.) makes us feel better, because the vibration of anger is higher. Anger motivates many of us to take some form of action, e.g. set boundaries, protect themselves and more. The problem is however that as long as we hold on to our anger, we are unable to get higher on the map of consciousness. All emotions above 200 are the “positive” emotions. All emotions below 200 are the “negative” emotions. Our anger will keep us imprisoned in unhappiness, because we cannot rise above our negative emotions. Is that what we want? Sure we have the right to be angry, but does it serve us? Does it bring the happiness we all are looking for?How can me move forward here without anger?

Infuse new beliefs

Release old beliefs

Look for the "good" in the painful incident, without condoning it

Forgive all parties involved = letting go of the wish that our history was different.

Create happiness by focusing on the present and making the best out of it.

We all have a higher wisdom inside of us that knows how to run our bodies. It knows how to synchronize our breathing with our heartbeat and digestive system. I knows how to create new cells and grow a baby in the womb. It is our creative life-force. We can call it creator. Many of us also believe in some higher power other than our own power. Some of us call it God, The Creator, Universe, etc. We can call on this higher power, to help us change our beliefs.

For optimum results it is essential that we first teach the subconscious mind that we will continue to take action even without anger. If we don't do this, our subconscious will be reluctant to let go of the anger, because we believe we need anger to take action and anger will prevent us from sinking lower

Infusing new beliefs.Do the following exercises only if you are willing to let go of your anger. If you want to hold on, just check how is your health is and how are your energy levels. Anger and other low vibration emotions are like poison to the system. After a period of time, they make us sick and drain our energy, because we get bogged down my it.

We put our left hand on our forehead to activate our frontal lobes, where our wisdom lies. Then say the following statement out loud (Can be a soft whisper) "I call upon the Creator to infuse in me, the new belief: I know how to take action without the need to be angry and I know what it feels like to do so. Thank you, it is done, it is done, it is done, in the name of the Creator, so be it..". Say it a few times, until it feels believable.

Releasing the old beliefNow we can release our emotion and the belief that kept us holding on to the emotions.Keep your hand on your forehead and say:

I call upon the Creator to release my anger on all levels and in all situations. And replace my anger with love, joy, peace, forgiveness and an attitude of gratitude. Thank you it is done, it is done, it is done. In the name of the Creator, so be it.

I call upon the Creator to release my belief that I need anger to motivate me to take action. Release this on all levels and in all situations. And replace my belief with love, joy, peace, forgiveness and an attitude of gratitude. Thank you it is done, it is done, it is done. In the name of the Creator, so be it.

Looking for the good in the painful situation - without condoning the harmful behaviourI always say "look for the gold that you can find in each difficult situation." The other day I was asked "What is the good that has come out off the slave trade between 1650 and 1860?" I believe that the good that came out if this, is that we as humans learnt from our mistakes. Until 1860 slavery was relative common in all racial groups. It was quite normal that when one nation conquered another one, slaves were brought home to do the hard labour. In 1860 slavery was abolished, because people realised that we cannot continue treating each other like animals. Slavery was a mistake, we learnt from it and we evolved as a species to become more human and more kind.

Why would we want to focus on the "good" in the painful situation? It is a tool to move beyond our anger. It helps us to create change and claim our happiness.

Forgive all parties involved, including ourselves.Forgiveness is letting go of our wish that our past was different. It is not about the question if the perpetrators deserve our forgiveness. They might not even care. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, so that we take our power back. When we hold a grudge against someone, every time we think about that person, we get upset. We have given the person we dislike, power over how we feel. Forgiveness is all about you and has very little to do if the other party.

One forgiveness technique that works for many, is to write a letter to all the people we are upset with. We express how we feel and whatever else comes to mind. We can write to the people as a group or individually. It is very important that we also forgive ourselves for our role in the situation. For example we forgive ourselves for putting ourselves in a situation where others had an opportunity to hurt us.

If the harmful actions were done to our ancestors, then let that ancestor forgive themselves for their role. We also need to forgive ourselves for holding on to the pain so long

Creating happiness by focusing on making the best of the presentWhat can we do today, to make the best of the present moment? What we sow is what we reap. I guarantee you that no action whereby we bring pain to others. can bring true happiness to ourselves. Only kindness can bring kindness.If we want to create change and happiness, it is important that we evolve as humankind, by being human and kind to all!

Everything you have said Hanna (such a beautiful name) is what I believe. In fact my book is all about what you have written. Thanks so much for reinforcing it all. Awareness of what you have said is so important.

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Being Other-Wise

Hanna Kok - Inner well-being strategist, Brain Gym practitioner and trainer, NAET allergy practitioner and THETA Medical Intuitive shares insights and ideas that can help anybody "do what you love, and love what you do" starting now!Learning to love and accept ourselves, change limiting beliefs and Become Other-Wise by trusting and following our Inner-Wisdom.