Hoping I wasn't too snippy, but difficult child 2's teachers need to get it together...

difficult child 2 has only 5 minutes between 4th and 5th period this year in which to get from one class to the health office to take his medications and then off to the next class. It just can't be done.

He's stressed about his 4th period band teacher who (he says) gets upset if anyone leaves early or during a song. And he says his 5th period teacher gets weird if anyone comes in late with a call slip from the office. I don't know if difficult child 2 is being overly sensitive or if these two men are truly on a power trip. Either way, they need to be more flexible for difficult child 2. So this is the email I sent last night, copying both teachers and difficult child 2's SpEd teacher:

Dear Mr. A & Mr. B,

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difficult child 2 has to visit the school health office every day to take medication at 12:30pm. Last year this conveniently coincided with his lunch recess. This year, however, he has only five minutes between the 4th and 5th period classes he has with you to get to the health office, wait for the medication to be dispensed by the health clerk or another staff member, and then continue on to class.

I hope we can all agree to either excuse him from 4th period a few minutes early or grant him an excused tardy to 5th period so that he can take care of this matter each day without adding undue stress and anxiety.

Please advise which arrangement you would both prefer so that I can tell difficult child 2 what is expected.

Thank you for your continuing support,Gcvmom

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No reply yet this morning, but hopefully this is a non-issue with them and we can just move forward smoothly.

Oh this brings back nightmares from HS sophomore year. My classes that year were fairly spread out during a particular time...I think we only had 6 classes a day back then plus lunch. I know that this particular problem arose because I had one class at the very end of the building on one side then had to walk all the way over to the other side of the building and up to the second story on that side for a biology class. Like your son we only had 5 minutes. It wasnt a huge deal except for....that time of the month! I had to use the restroom at that time religiously every day during that time of the month or it was a problem. I had bad periods.

Teachers refused to understand. I kept getting demerits for being tardy. I tried to be nice and explain. I got doctors notes. Nothing helped. Well in true difficult child fashion I got snippy. When they tried to suspend me for the demerits, I went to the vice principal and told him exactly why I only got demerits during that one time a month and said he could suspend me if he could prove to me that HE could make the same trip doing the same thing I had to do during that time of the month. AND I didnt mean just go potty.

I told him he had to leave a classroom on the end of the east wall, walk all the way to where my classroom was, drop my books, go to the restroom, take down his clothing, sit down, relieve himself, remove one pad, wrap it up, put on a new pad, stand up, redress, wash hands, make sure he looked ok and then come back to class ....all in 5 minutes. He couldnt do it. Not even close.

The 5th period teacher wrote back that it was no problem and (I'm laughing at this) it had taken him a while to figure out why difficult child 2 was sometimes late to class -- don't know why the case manager/resource teacher never bothered to communicate this to them! So it's all good now and hopefully difficult child 2 can relax a little about this.

I think you wrote a good letter and I'm glad it had a positive outcome.

Any teacher taking offence at what you wrote definitely would be on a power trip.

And Janet, good on you for standing up to the deputy. I had to do similar things at times when difficult child 1 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 got "out of uniform" notes from their school for sometimes ridiculous reasons. With easy child 2/difficult child 2, she was physically very small and the school uniform did not come in her small size - we had to have shirts specially made, and as for the school trousers - forget it! They were supposed to wear black trousers so we found a pair of stretch black pants (which on her never got to stretch, so they looked like the same tailored pants!). But the biggest "sin" as far as the school was concerned, was that in mid-winter easy child 2/difficult child 2 was turning up wearing a heavy black wool coat that had been her sisters, a uniform item at another school. A sensible item. No logo on it, so it shouldn't have been a problem. The allowable school uniform did not have anything that would keep our girl warm enough on the dawn boat trip. She added a black beanie, black gloves and black scarf - all school colours. She actually looked very smart, and was warm, too. But we got the "out of uniform" note - she was supposed to only wear the nylon spray jacket as her only "warm clothing" item. Ridiculous!

The note I sent to the school challenged the school staff to make easy child 2/difficult child 2's morning trip, wearing nothing but allowed school uniform items, and not become deathly ill. I wasn't polite as you were in your note, gcvmom. I said, "If you can catch the sunrise ferry in midwinter as she does, wearing only the items you require and not the added layers of heavy black wool coat, scarf, beanie and gloves and STILL feel that an out of uniform note is justified, then we will discuss this further. Because as tis stands, the rule appears to be getting laid down by staff members who drive up to school five minutes before class commences, arriving in heated, insulated comfort while wearing whatever a staff member is permitted to wear, which is of course far more suitable to the season than is possible given the current limited options available with the school uniform. As it stands now, this is a serious health issue and if you wish to pursue this, I will make it a major health issue at state level. So instead, let us be sensible and practical, recognising that this girl is trying to stay well and also doing her utmost to dress in accordance with school colour schemes. Her appearance does not disgrace the school in any way."

Some years later made the exact same design black coat, black gloves, black beanie and black scarf to be allowable school uniform items in winter.

Sometimes you can strike a bureaucrat who likes to throw weight around. That's when you have to throw weight back and finish with "let's please be sensible about this."

But generally most staff are sufficiently commonsense to start with. But not completely, or we would not need to write the occasional letter!