The couples are introduced from different parts of the ballroom and each couple has to do an "opening dance move." It's silly, and yet still fun.

Amber Riley & Derek Hough Quickstep

Amber's now got injuries in both knees, poor thing. I bet they wish she'd had the rumba this week. Derek says this week is the least rehearsal he's ever done for a performance with a star on the show.

It starts with Derek behind a drum kit while Amber does some shimmying and gyrating behind him. Can't imagine Len will like that. Derek has done some creative things with choreography in the rest of the routine, and if my eyes don't deceive me, once they went into hold they didn't come out of of it the rest of the dance, even when Derek did a one-handed cartwheel.

Len compliments Derek on his choreography, but then also says that choreography can cover a lot of blemishes. He wanted the routine to be a bit cleaner. Carrie Ann says they are judging Amber by her own standards, which is why they can't excuse some of the mess-ups.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8

Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani Tango

Leah thought tango meant the Argentine tango and seems kinda bummed she doesn't get to go for the Argentine footwork.

Bruno says when Leah maintains her focus, she's stunning. Carrie Ann is impressed with the growth from last week to this week. She also gives a note about Leah's arms. Len liked the ingredients: the steps from Tony and the flavor from Leah.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9

Corbin Bleu & Karina Smirnoff Waltz

They're not looking to repeat the debacle of their Game of Thrones Viennese Waltz. Karina says that the slow waltz is Len's favorite dance. I wonder if that's true.

It's very flow-y and spin-y, but I'm not sure how waltz-y it is. Judges? Carrie Ann says it was dreamy, but that there were a couple of slip-ups. Len says he had a terrific frame in hold and mentions that he'd like to have had more of the dance in frame. Toldja. Bruno found the routine enchanting.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 10

Jack Osbourne & Cheryl BurkeViennese Waltz

Len says it was "crackerjack" with lovely hold and then says lots of choreography things, which is really a credit to Cheryl. Bruno wants Jack to watch his hands a little more. Carrie Ann talks about how Jack's journey on the show has been one of technique.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 10; Len: 10; Bruno: 9

Bill Engvall & Emma SlaterCharleston

Bill talks about how he's excited to be getting this far with Emma in her first season. It's sweet how he's excited about her doing well.

They've decided to make it a routine about something to do with laundry because Bill does better when he plays a character. Bill's feet are less than great but he's throwing himself into it wholeheartedly.

Bruno says that he was off on his timing through a lot of the routine. Carrie Ann says she wishes she didn't have a paddle sometimes because she loves watching Bill dance but it's not good. Len says it was wooden, even though he does like Bill.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 7; Bruno: 7

Elizabeth Berkley Lauren & Val Chmerkovskiy

Viennese Waltz

Val says he's back in control after letting Elizabeth have so much control last week.

Val's in a tux and Elizabeth is in what looks like a wedding dress, so when they're standing on a dais at the top of the stairs, I hope I'm supposed to think of them as a wedding cake topper.

Carrie Ann didn't like something at the beginning. Len tells Elizabeth that she'd be at the top of his personal leaderboard. Len tells Val that he's a "wind-up watch in a digital age," by way of explaining his dissatisfaction with the routine.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 8; Bruno: 9

Trio Round

Amber Riley & Derek Hough

with Mark Ballas Salsa

Mark and Derek are having a choreography peeing-contest and it's making Amber feel left out. Does Derek really rehearse in jeans? That seems uncomfortable.

I'm pretty sure Mark brings out the worst in Derek, which is why they're both wearing dumb hats. Back in rehearsal footage, Derek said the idea is that Amber is the star and he and Mark are just her back-up dancers. They seem to be sticking to that and it's a great way to counter the criticism, including mine, that Mark is a spotlight hog.

Bruno would've liked a little more hips from Amber. Carrie Ann says these three are "like the Dream Team." Carrie Ann sets Amber up to talk about how she's going to push through her injuries.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9

Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani

with Henry ByalikovJive

Their routine is that they're going to be the judges. Tony's impression of Bruno is pretty funny.

They start their routine behind the judges' table, with the announcer calling their names and the crowd booing when they reveal their scores. They don't do as good a job with the three person thing as Amber, Mark, and Derek did - sometimes one of the guys looks superfluous.

Bruno says it was uncanny, like watching a mirror. He says it was witty and does point out that Leah missed a couple of kicks and flicks. Carrie Ann loves that she took control of the routine. She says they're at the point in the season when strategy matters and this dance was "good strategy."

Leah is this season's slim-down success story. Tonight's dress really shows off how much her body has changed from all the dancing.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9

Corbin Bleu & Karina Smirnoffwith Witney Carson Jazz

They're incorporating some Broadway and some tap dance into the routine. Witney still looks so young.

They've got Corbin front and centerto start, with Witney and Karina in the background. It stays like this through a lot of the routine. And if ever there was a routine that made you yell "RINGER" at your tv, it's this one.

Carrie Ann is standing up out of her chair and stays standing to say that it may have been the best routine she's seen in all the seasons of the show. She also says that he did Fosse proud. Then she says something that gets silenced out - no idea what. Bruno says for his generation Bob Fosse was the absolute top and that Corbin lived up to his standard tonight.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 10; Len: 10; Bruno: 10

Jack Osbourne & Cheryl Burke

with Sharna BurgessSamba

Cheryl says she chose to work with Sharna because they have similar personalities. Jack clarifies that this means they're both bossy.

THey're dancing to a song from "The Jungle Book," but it's some sort of Jack saves Cheryl from Sharna the tiger set-up. C'MON. ABC is owned by Disney and this is the best you can do?

But I'll take this moment to say how much I've warmed up to Jack Osbourne over the course of this season - he's funny, charming, and game.

Len says the technique in some places wasn't so good, but the fun of it all was incredible. Bruno says it was fun to watch. Carrie Ann says it was great to see him be a bit looney, but that his technique went out the window a little bit.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 9

Coming back from commercial, three of the female troupe members do a little bumper dance that's them in the Catholic schoolgirl outfits. They rip open their shirts to reveal red bras for the rest of the number. It's not in the best taste. I have a REAL problem with the whole "schoolgirl" thing. Yuck, DWTS, don't do that again.

Bill Engvall & Emma Slater

with Peta MurgatroydSalsa

This is a candy-coated acid trip with a comedian dancing poorly.

Bruno says the rhythm and the timing were off. Carrie Ann doesn't know what to say and quietly whimpers, "That was weird." She rallies to say that Bill is living the fantasy on the dancefloor.

This team definitely wins the "most letters required for dancers' names" award. I like the parts when they're dancing as three separate people better than when they're alternating pairing up in hold.

Carrie Ann loves how in control Elizabeth was. Len says it was fantastic. Bruno says it was her best dance.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 10; Len: 10; Bruno: 10

I'm kind of bummed no one brought in a celebrity the same gender as the celebrity.

Scores

Corbin & Karina: 28 + 30 = 58

Elizabeth & Val: 26 + 30 = 56

Jack & Cheryl: 29 + 25 = 54

Leah & Tony: 27 + 27 = 54

Amber & Derek: 24 + 27 = 51

Bill & Emma: 21 + 21 + 42

Huh. Leah picked the right week to surge and Amber's inability to resource as much as usual really seems to have hurt her.

Elimination:

Next week is the semi-finals, can you believe it? Corbin & Karina and Jack & Cheryl are safe. Elizabeth & Val are in jeopardy. Amber & Derek and Leah & Tony are safe. Which means Bill & Emma are also in jeopardy.

Brooke tells us these are "not necessarily the bottom two." It better not be Elizabeth going home. I like Bill, but I've watched him dance enough and I want to see Elizabeth dance more.

OMIGOSH. It's Elizabeth & Val going home. Emma is visibly shocked and upset. If the judges don't want Bill to stick around, they have to get serious about scoring him an appropriate amount lower than the other dances who can actually dance. They cut back to Emma while Elizabeth is talking and Emma is either crying or about to.

When the judges get outraged about results like this all I can think is, "Well, you should've scored him honestly against the other dancers." If what Leah & Tony are doing is worth 9s, Bill's routines should be getting 6s or even 5s.

Predictions:

The judges get real with their Bill scores next week in case tonight's scores weren't low enough to compensate for his clearly huge fan base. If I were Amber, I'd be nervous, given her uncharacteristic next-to-last placement tonight by the judges.

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