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3.25.2014

love is the new black.

i was on pinterest the other day and I came across a quote that really spoke to me. i don't really know why it spoke to me because it kinda confused me....

Love is the new Black.

what do you think it means to you? No matter how we perceive it, there is one common goal behind the saying....there needs to be more love. I really liked the way my sister described the quote to her. She said "...love is eternal and doesn't 'go out of style'....make love always 'in'..".....and then it got me thinking. When did love really ever go 'out of style'? Is that even possible with an emotion? I mean I guess I do feel like we have lost love in our world. People seem to be so much more angrier & unhappy then happy & in love. Why is that?

I really liked what my friend Chantelle, another single girl in her 20s, had to say about the loss of love in our world....

"People give up when it's hard. They do things they feel like doing, they think cheating is okay, they have hang outs instead of dating, don't believe in morality anymore, lack romance and think divorce is as simple as a situation of picking out what to wear in the morning."

Falling in love has been something constant in life forever. So much of what we do is because of love. But lately it feels like love is lacking all around us....and mainly in relationships. Nothing is traditional anymore. I almost envy my grandparents. They lived in a time when falling in love and marriage were actually taken seriously. When the mere mention of cheating was absolutely horrifying. When going steady with someone actually meant you were in the a serious committed relationship...not just 'having fun' with some guy.

'Having Fun'. I put that in quotes because it seems to be a good excuse for guys to use these days when you get to that point in your relationship when its time to have the talk. Most likely you, as in the girl, will be the one to bring it up. Guys hate talking about their feelings, nonetheless whats the deal between you, so he'll try to avoid the talk as long as he can. You know the talk. That time about 3 months into your relationship when you want to know what the f*ck is going on between you two....and when you ask him he says 'uh i don't know I'm having fun with you'...what the fuck does that mean?

Don't be scared to find out where your relations is going. Don't settle for 'having fun'. I was in a relationship once when I wouldn't want to bring up certain things because I knew the truth and I just didn't want to hear it.....but by doing that I ended up wasting a lot more time than I should've and getting even more hurt in the end. I promised myself I would never put myself in that type of situation again. It upsets me that we don't look at ourselves as amazing women that any guy should be HONORED to be with.Thats why we're afraid to have the talk. We don't value ourselves enough. We just settle for 'having fun' with the guy, wishing & hoping that eventually he will come around & make a commitment.

Now if you're just looking to have some fun then go for it. I believe we should all have that time in our 20s when we just 'have fun' with guys & live it up. But there comes a point when most us all want the same thing. We all want to find our dream guy, get married and start a family. I'm going to be 29 in May. I cannot lie, I defiantly thought I would be married by now, even with a child on the way. No joke. It's super weird as I sit here writing this to think how different my life really is than what I always imagined it to be. My sister is engaged to be married before me. And as happy as I am for her...& I am so extremely happy and excited for you ash!...but I never thought she would be the first one to get married. My younger sister getting married before me?! What the fuck. But hey thats life....& that doesn't mean we should value ourselves any less. Just because we're venturing into our late 20s with no marriage in sight doesn't mean we need to be settling for whatever comes along and gives us the time of day.

We deserve the best. And you know why? Because we are the best. Men can think they run this world but really we do. Because how did they get here to run this world? US....theres a reason why men can't give child birth.

SO don't be afraid to ask for what you want. To find out if the guy you're seeing is just 'having fun' or actually sees this as something more serious. Don't waste your time waiting for him to decide. Don't you want to be with someone who is on the same page as you? Who wants to be serious with you? Not someone who you have to 'talk' into it. Think about it girls. I know you all know what i'm talking about. Its true what one of my favorite books says...if he's into you, he will make the time to see you. If he wants to be serious with you he will be serious with you. Guys know EXACTLY what they want. Don't let them get off. They're not as stupid and confusing as you think they are.

75 comments:

Love it! It saddens me when I see people throw around the word cheating. Cheating should always be taboo. Nowadays people share stories of infidelity and it shows how lost our world is.

As the famous T-swift says "Life makes love look hard," and it scares people. If only we could all remember to channel our energy into thinking of love as a positive thing, and not something that leads to disaster. You wont find love if you aren't open to it. Don't blame people for your lack of love , blame yourself.

Great post! I feel like there's been a recent trend of girls trying to act like they don't really care about being in relationships and that's fine if it's what you really want, but not if you're just doing that to please a boy. Especially if it's a boy who you'd actually really, really want to be in a relationship with. Love is literally the most important thing and denying yourself of it doesn't make sense.

I heart you. I agree about cheating. I have been in an open relationship though, we were high school sweethearts and wanted to be together but also wanted to experience the world, and we were open and honest so to us it wasn't cheating, but we hurt a lot of great people along the way, and I could never have that openness with my husband I would be devastated if he came to me and said he wanted to have sex with someone else.

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