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Where Are you From? A rantttttttttttt

Beware this is gonna be a RANT.. and it is a Repost .. Got the same feeling again today so putting it again .. I am not in a good mood today, been to a wedding too .. PEOPLEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I am sick and tired of this phrase. Especially when a fellow Indian asks me that question… Don’t get me wrong… its fair enough if a white guy asks me that… He does not know because for him all brown skin people are the same…

But when an Indian asks me I usually reply from where you are….

This is a common thing you enter a pub, if you meet someone for first time they will be like

I must say when I was in India I did not have a clue about this, but here in UK it is like that, further divisions nation-state-area… I bet it’s gonna go to neighbourhood too 🙂

So I have no idea what Muktsar falls under still… Depending on the area you are from, the circle you sit changes a lot especially in pubs or wedding halls.

I would like to reply to these people when they ask me Where am I from That

” Sat samundaron paar mera sohna watan

jida mishri warga paani
jithe zare zare which pyar

Yaar main uthon daJithe Jamiya Bhagat Singh Sardar ”

(“Seven seas apart My beautiful cuntry .. Where the water is like syrup … where there is love every where ..

OH my friend I am from there .. Where was born Sardar BHAGAT SINGH “)

Does it matter where I from am?

Will it make me a better or bad person depending on the area?

OH YES… dont smile or think I have gone mad writing this… It does matter because it really is a big issue here in UK, among the Asian (Indian) community… I was surprised when “M” (short for Muthu) a friend from Tamil-Nadu found out that I was actually from Punjab, don’t know what he was thinking I was from originally, I guess a lot of people in south have names like Bikramjit SINGH 🙂 (Ok that was sarcy)… but If I am from Punjab does it make me a bad person or what… He stopped coming to my house, stopped taking my calls.

Till I was “BIK” it was fine, later I got to know from his girl friend who worked in the same office as me, that his parents were Brahmins, since I ate meat they had aked there son to stay away from me.. These are the same parents who stayed in my house for two months when there Son could not afford to buy a house and was living on rent, Why was he stupid enough to get his parents over dont ask me ?… I mean that’s hypocracy.. He went to pubs with me to drink… Here I must say he was/is ok with white people, I see him now and then in pubs with that group and its ok cause gora’s eat beef and Beef is not meat and not at all against his religion 🙂.

I am really surprised in today’s day and age this sort of racism still exists, wonder how it is in India.

The problem with meat, I must laugh, here at McDonalds we get cheese burgers, If you ask for a cheese burger, it has a slice of MEAT in it, that meat is BEEF… So Mr. “M” has gone with me a hundred times for a quick bite, ordering cheese burgers… where did the religion go then eating all that Beef.

I really find it funny. If it is to be thought in region way then Punjab has always been higher in the chain, I belong to a JATT/Sikh which if I am not wrong was martial race equivalent to Kshatriya’s So I am higher in the chain in that sense too. So why would it be a problem to be friendly with me. This is not just my story I am sure it happens to a lot others too or has happened, I was chatting with another mate who is in chicago , he too had the same views, he was a bit over dramatic and said dont be friends with anyone other then same caste, same religion, same region.. But thank god I am not like that.. I feel all Humans are equal END OF.

I mean Mr. “M” when you bought your first car and borrowed money from me to pay for it, should you not have thought about asking which area I belong to at that time, the money was tainted.

It’s really sad that living in a foreign place we are so divided, we don’t find this in Pakistani community they stick together whatever region they are from, but Us Indians it is Punjab-south-north-east… Sikh-Hindu-Muslim Jatt-Majhbi-Brahmin
poor-rich etc etc etc…

Ah well I guess I have had my Rant for the day.. so I should shutup maybe there is something wrong with me , I am from Punjab not from India..

We had service manager in our company who came from Punjab (to TN). It seems, once he went on a call and met some high level Govt. Official. This was the dialogue between them:

Govt Official: You are Hindi?
(Some people in TN think that the whole of North India {read: above Karnataka/AP} is like a single state, and all of them speak Hindi as their mother tongue. Oh, North East doesn’t exist for them!)

SM (Service Manager): {Getting Offended, thinking that it was a derogatory question} You are English?
(So as to imply – If not, then every language was the same in India)

We were laughing for 15 minutes after hearing this from another colleague. But apart from the fun, look at the level of assumptions each one has made with just three words!!!!!!!!!!

Sheesh! What a stupid way to behave. I hate such things. You can ask someone where they are from out of interest, not to slot them and behave in weird ways. Did this M fellow tell you that it was because you eat meat that he has given up coming to your house? Hope he does not have some other grievance. But if he is so petty, then its good riddance of bad rubbish methinks.
I hope the rant has cleared the air for you. Cheer up!

YEah I know a silly way to beahve. No not this M .. but his GF now soon to be wife told me , she works with me in office and I have to go to the wedding and be a guest of the Girls side 🙂 .. I am sure I will not be a friend anymore to this lady once she goes into the family.. But its ok we have already discussed this.

What greviance can he have , his parents stayed with me for 2 months or more when they had come to uk as M did not have a place to stay then .. I guess at that time i was needed so it was ok.. but yeah as you say it doesnot bother me anymore .. I am fine and smiling now 🙂

yes they do 🙂 and you dont need to be sorry .. its not your fault tht such people exist 🙂 he he hehe Although I feel sometimes something wrong with me .. i am a weird person it seems 🙂 maybe they are right in shunning me off 🙂

Well, “Bik” 😉 your rant needs some other type of tam brahm reaction..
My parents took us from Chennai(Tamilnadu) in the 80’s because they feared with the anti Tam Brahm (read Aryan outsiders not Dravidians like the rest of southies) wave and 80% reservation; their not born with I.I.T IQ level kids may end in night/ bad colleges like so many others did and transported us to the magical city of Bombay (Sena or no Sena, that’s the name I will stick to”
…where my surname (my father’s name actually since most of us keep our father’s/ husband’s name as we only have caste/community/village/ region+community last names like Rajan Iyer/ Rajan Mudaliar/Sathyamangalam (S .Rajan)/Tirunveli Nadar T.N.Rajan and such ) did elicit a few reactions like “how come u don’t have dark skin?”, “don’t you speak ondu gudu” “madrasi” when there are 4 distinct states and 1 UT as diff as Punjab and Gujarat…… of course some extra taunts of ” double battery” “char ankhen” which calls for another rant altogether.
….and from scandalised fellow Tamils..”u don’t listen to carnatic music, know bharatnatyam, play chess, like idli sambar for breakfast, eat rotis for dinner” “westernised north Indian wannabe” and the like from well meaning ignorant friends
…the point I am trying to make is prejudice exists, coupled with racism, and the sheer laziness to get to know a culture and steeped from childhood in regional politics and ( in the case of south of the Vindhayas) the forced conversion to Hindi that failed (which is still a sore point for many) you face such scenarios…
btw…don’t feel bad we are not even supposed to mix with fellow Tamils and southies who eat meat or from so called lower castes.

btw…there is another rant that is doing the blogger, a world of good …can u imagine getting 2547 comments and media atricles …providing the blog links… and the media link…

i say bombay tooo…
I dont beleive this so many restrictions ..
and yes i did see that article … and the open letter to the delhi boy was funny .. I did not know punjabi singers were so famous in delhi 🙂

Though i had never been out side of India but i can very well understand your feelings and in a way can relate myself with this…..you know i belong to Bihar and fortunately i got a chance to visit and work at many other states, where ever i went most of the people(initially) gave their first reaction like i am someone who is untouched and very uncivilized, just bcoz i am from a place(bihar) which unfortunately always remained in news for all wrong reasons……but after my stay with them for few months the same people used to say “we heard so many things about Biharis, but you are different”…..and i used to say them that “majority of Biahri are like me only and there are good as well as bad people every where so plz don’t generalize it”…….and today i have so many friends from other places and at times they all have been so nice to me……

i mean a human is human…like wise an indian is indian, so what if he belongs to some particular state or city, if i have a bad experience from some one who is from certain place it doesn’t mean that every one else from that place is bad……i mean any individual can be bad or good irrespective of the place he belongs……

so, it happens, as “A” said, perhaps we are the most racist in world.

At times it does annoy us and unfortunately we can’t change their mindset 😦

what can a non-gora foreigner do? *clueless*
it exists everywhere. even here in the philippines, though it’s not that harsh.

a couple of desi parents rejected me for their son only because i was not from the same country. although we had the same religion, but they want someone who was born in their country and grew up in their country. they didn’t even want to talk to me or face me.

oh well. i will not force myself to be in the company of people who dont want me.

Ohhh i guess its everywehre …
Oh that is horrible .. well you are better off without them then .. those who are like this now wonder how they wud be after the marriage .. you had a good Save from them 🙂

neither do i .. but sometimes situations is such.. common friends and all

That’s hypocrisy on so many levels. First they are casteist. Second, caste was not a consideration when they stayed with you? Third he breaks the same no-non-veg rules when convenient!!
It’s better to stay away from such people, you are lucky Bikram, good riddance.

YES I know , sometimes I think that maybe there is something wrong with me .. had i taken rent and not offered them a place to stay till there PRecious son got rented accomodation it would have been fine ..

I sometimes curse myself for allowing myself to fall in such situation.. I got to stop helping …

Such attitudes exist everywhere – India as well as abroad. Some people refuse to think beyond caste/place/religion lines! And it is even worse when people who change their stance as per convenience. So so hypocritical!

I have seen a few like too. There are some who will not make friends other than their own state/language/drinking types/meat eating types etc etc. All I ask them is, if the only people I wanted to meet are Tamilians, I would have very well stayed in Chennai. Why come half the globe away???

YEpp.. I have been there .. I use to take pride because I seem to have friends all over the places but this experience has left me somewhat thinking .. do they too think the same way .. dont know .. I am a bit weird I ask on face so maybe i will put them in a difficult position nad ask them .. 🙂 he he hehe

Hey, Bikram….coooool, dont worry…there are all sorts in this world! I think maybe the guy used it as an excuse and actually just wanted to be distanced….chalo, ki farak painda hai, good to be rid of such “friends”!
Btw, I am “Malwai”….hehehe…just pulling your leg!

It happens to everyone and everywhere, I have lived in many states, and found it evrywhere..ibe it WB ,maharashtra or AP or TN…but I always live with elan and let them say anything:), nevr let them get to me in anyway.I am in Indian, and belong everywhere, nobody can make me feel outsider anywhere.

In south too, lot many people say they dont like north Indians and hindi, even in blogosphere too and I amke it a point not to hobnob with people who say that they dont like Hindi..you may say whatevr about me being north Indian..chalta ha..sab jagah sab tarah ke log hote hain..but dont know why anybody saying anything about Hindi makes me feel bad.

Indians donrt have much self respect, they can take help from anywhere, and then dont feel grateful or obliged eceven..thats in our genes.

YEah you are right and I can say 100% true.. everyone is first a state person or a community person NOT A INDIAN… no matter what people say or write this is always the case and thats what i have felt..
southies dont like northies and vice versa… I felt so wrong when i had gone to hyderabad ages ago about 15-20 years ago .. It was intimidating sometimes and I felt in alien land …
I had stayed there for 2 months , i made some friends but they too were from north who had come there to do some marine course etc .. it was really a weird feeling …

I wont use the word Racist for fellow Indians like someone here has in one of the comments.Isnt it very natural for one to ask this question?Cant we assume that the fellow just is being nice and trying to make himself feel at ease?

It is quite normal for Indians to ask each other where you are from. I see it all the time. And, for those who don’t want to associate with you because you are a meat eater then I have the same feeling about them that they are hypocrites. Because, they are perfectly fine eating in a hotel or a pub where they have no clue what is being put in the food. But, they have problem eating at another person’s house who will be kind to their sensibilities. It still goes on in India among some people, and I definitely do not wish to welcome such people in my house or associate with them.

Ask I dont mind but dont make groups just because one is from a different region.. you know I hardly ask anyone from where they are .. how does that matter if i am friends with someone it doesnot matter to me if one if from india or timbak tu or hell ..

He is fine eating the cheese burgers .. and offcoure friends with Whites who eat meat too 🙂 its jsut the colour of my skin that is a problem or being a fellow indian that is a problem which was not a problem when they wanted helpt for months .. i regret not taking rent 🙂

I hate that phrase too – so i am an uttranchalite married to a tamilian – born and brought up in delhi and have stayed in so many places now that I am quite a mix – when somebody asks me where I am from – I have nee\ver been able to zero in on an answer – I usually say I am from here, there and everywhere…

Who cares what you eat or do not.
Who cares where you are from… as long as your heart is in the right place!

I am a Hindu, I love beef and chicken and fish and pork and most meat for that matter… that does not really interfere with my God… I speak with him/her and they usually are pretty understanding to my problems!

it just means..that being literate doesn’t always mean being educated. Even after good education..if it is difficult to realize that every human is different and he/she has his own way of leading his/her life. If we have goodness of ours and people around us in general…then how does it matter…from where are we..which religion we follow…what do we eat. I consider myself as a global citizen and want good for everyone out there..I mean..almost everyone.. 😛

Yes true. No it means nothing .. the so called educated and intelligent are the worst i tell you .. 🙂 . exactly i know .. all this was not there when they needed a roof on their head here , for two months and more they were fine with me , doing what i do in my house but not that they have moved ot a rented accomodation suddenly all the religion and all comes inot action …

Hmmm.. Agree to an extent, coz .. yeah, India is a diverse nation and it is but natural for people of a kind to find their kinds outside of their native places, Bikram. The problem comes when they start showing prejudices against the people of the ‘other’ kind.
I can give u a very good example here.. Since the time I came to this city, I have faced this language problem.. it is very very severe.. u know.. as in, the native people here are so ‘Raj Thankeray’ like, u know.. ki even when they are a part of a corporate crowd that is multicultural, they INSIST upon conversing in their native language, caring a damn if the rest ‘outsiders’ can understand them or not. I have many times, felt unwelcome and left out and in spite of repeated requests to either translate or talk in a common language, I am given deaf ears.
I was talking to my best friend today, Bikram and she had moved to Andhra when we were in the 7th standard.. u know, she never ever had the need to learn Telugu, because people never are rude there.. the way they are here… I have also seen the natives here display a dislike for Telugu too.. so.. I don;t know.. whether it’s because I am in the company of a “few” such people, or whether the whole lot is in general like that… beats me.
Moreover, I have been told ample number of time, please learn the native language. Excuse me, I do not have a problem learning a new language – its the ATTITUDE that hurts, not the fact that I can not understand their lingo.

Well india is diverse nation but we in our mentality are furthur dividing it into everything else ..
This is really a pity if they are behaving like that , and the worst thing is that its the so called educated and intelligent people who do such things , which is so very wrong and yet there are people who say we are progressing and doing great. Not with this attitude we are not .. I wonder how they say that bangalore is a it hub, Now i know whny some of the people who went from my office there had problems and they had some not so nice things to say .. Here also there is a tendency if you go to a office party or something .. indians tend to ignore fellow indians and try to make a positive effort to be pictured with the whites 🙂 Luckily in my other job I cant afford to be like that , so I have learnt a lot of things …

and this is so silly leanr native language … will these people learn Punjab iif they have to talk to a client in punjab or learn Bengali is there is a client in West bengal and if its a foreigner learn english .. this is hypocracy to me … but then we indians are very much known for it 🙂

…this was quite strange…But then all kinds of samples are there..in this world..
The annoying part is..Non veg people are treated like .. people who have contagious disease..I mean respect the person and never forget the help offered during troubled times..
The parents of this Guy..deserves a Kick on the Ass ..for forgetting that..And This ..Guy who discriminates ..needs to also ..to be slapped…(my hubby uses this slang.. “maranga Dus ginanga ek”) in Punjabi ..that fits here properly 🙂
its Sad ..in US also Indians discriminate from north ..especially South Indians..
I dunno why? But it shows some problem back home which I am un aware.

It was very strange for me , for I did not expect it like this to me it was the usual a Friend needed help and i opted , to help him in his hour of need and to go through all this later on Well I look stupid now …
And I like that slang so true .. das marange te ginnange IK 🙂 that would be fun tooo

Ohh this is everywhere .. not only UK .. when I was in Tokyo I thought of joining some Indian community in the hope of meeting new peopke .. but there was no India club there .. there was a Maratha club, a Sputh Indian club and even a Oriya club. And beleive me non community members were not really encouraged to join these clubs .. Instead of showing a united front outside India we end up dividing ourselves even further .. its sickening actually … I am so sorry ur so called friend behaved in that manner .. all this Non veg chee chee is too much for me really !
Koi na yaar bhool ja …

Oh yes we have it here all over we have Sikh temples 3 -4 in a row on a high street ,t then Tamil community centre , bengali community centre, Gujarati community centre But none called Indian community centre and you are right outsiders are not welcome at ALLL.. no matter what htey say But when it comesot ask for some charity or money they the money from any community is very welcome and WORTH.. no one says then oh this is from a different community lets not take it from them …

It is definitely sickening I have had so many altercations .. You know I have this habit of saying hello to everyone .. and its is a FACT that 7 out of 10 Indians will never say Hello back to you .. but 10 out of 10 english will say hello back to you …
I have so many experiences I should start ot write down some of the shifts i have had 🙂

I completely understand your predicament – we have divided ourselves into such micro-regions that we no longer think like a country. Let me quote an obnoxious comment that made me see red : “Any place below Nagpur is Madras for me – sab ke sab Madrasi hain” …. and this comes from an educated, highly placed officer!! Sad!!

I am a magnet it seems .. and sometimes I do think there is something wrong with me .. and not with them .. thye are perfectly normal I mean Whay the hell did i offer them to live in my house for so many months .. had they paid the rent and lived somewhere else other then a big house which they used as their own , I am sure this would not have arisen …

OHh it happens everywhere. When people ask me, so whcih part of India u r from, I am confused. ISn’t being an Indian enuf? I am a Konkani brought up in Bhilai, studied in Mysore and Warangal, worked in Mumbai but my parents are now settled in Vizag. I am married to a person from Gangoli but now his family is in Mangalore and we are in Bahrain. SO what do I say?? 😛

Yeah, racism existing among ourselves is highly discouraging and unfortunate. This is not ranting, just venting out anger. What has happened with you is a little strange, but we never know how people are. I mean, not staying in touch just because you are a non-vegetarian? Heights of racism, may be foolishness. At the end of the day it is better to stay away from such people! 🙂 🙂

Hey Bhagwaan…UK aine se main te ethe hi changi vali hun:P..Gosh!! Do Indians lose their sense or what when they go abroad and become NRI’S?? Whats with people?? the story of ur frnd sounds so absurd..its ludicrous!! TOTALLY! that is soooo immature..i wonder if u even told him the cheese burger he was eating had beef in it…where would his ” brahmin” tag then go to? then acc to his laws, he would have to sleep, wake in river Ganga till his sins could wash away:P
I pity such ppl..But at the same time Bikram I think this kind of an attitude is emerging from this strong fear which ppl might have viz a viz “trusting” ppl…so they think if from our community cool..else..”who are you?”..I’d like to hear more on this..infact this post of urs makes me recall Russel Peter’s racist shows..and though ppl like us (m assuming) may be able to laugh over them, but many cannot stand him for what he does..it indeed is a very sensitive issue..

i think a human is just that should not be isolated into groups or race we all hurt we all bleed this world will never see rascism sent into outer space its too set in concrete now but i know that black white yellow whatever if help was needed then id pick you up xxjen