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01/03/2017

Bridezilla is scuttling back into her cave - for now

I've gone from cool, calm and collected bride-to-be, to being on the brink of a nervous breakdown, to borderline bridezilla, and right back out the other side.

I've had late night panics - most recently about whether or not Tom ordered a tie with his suit or whether I was supposed to get one made to match the bridesmaid dresses - and heart-stopping moments where I feel I've forgotten something.

But, all the stress aside, I think I'm finally over the bulk of the panicking/psychotic-ness. Give me a week, I'm sure I'll be right back there.

We have our final details meeting booked with our venue in 10 days which made me feel ever so slightly sick when I got the email. It can't be time to sort out all those little things just yet, can it?!

Reading the list of things we had to sort through and decide, I did want to screw it into a tiny ball and set it on fire. But, once I realised we actually knew the majority of the stuff they were asking, I felt ok. It was just a false alarm.

When I have my mild panics I usually fire off a quick email to the company/venue/whoever it is I need to triple check it with. I always try and sound carefree and breezy, like I am just taking a second out of my day to ponder/wonder, rather than letting on I'm actually sat at home chewing my finger nails off in a blind panic that I've forgotten something massively important.

My attempts at a breezy message end up sounding panicked, frantic and borderline insane. When I get the response back, that everything is fine, I then have to profusely apologise for seeming so worried about something so minor.

I would hope they get it all the time, though, and are used to dealing with panicking brides. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who has to frantically flick through her wedding planning book to check - for the fiftieth time - that she has actually booked/paid for something?

Everything is now slowly starting to fall into place, though. It feels so good to start paying things off and making all our final choices.

My bridesmaid dresses should be arriving into the shop any day now, the boys are all measured up for their suits, the girls' shoes have arrived, I've finally finished putting together their gift boxes (I think Tom is going to glue them shut to stop me buying more little bits just to add in), and my first dress fitting is this weekend.

I've got hair and make-up trials booked in, my hen party is just over two weeks away, and finally Tom has managed to organise something that will resemble a stag do.

We've also put the favours together which ended up being a mammoth, painful task that neither Tom, me or my mum expected. My mum, bless her, volunteered to help thinking, like us, it would be a quick 20 minute job.

90 excruciating minutes later, with hands that resembled claws and us left semi-high on superglue, they were done. I don't want to give too much away, as I want there to be some elements of surprise for our guests, but a lot of cutting/hacking and sticking was involved.

When we realised we needed glue, and that we only had a bit of an old Pritt Stick, I had the bright idea to use my teeny tiny pot of nail glue from Boots. Absolutely blinding decision until it got so empty I almost dislocated my thumb trying to squeeze some more out. Tom ended up being sent to Morrisons to get some superglue, which he returned with promptly. The only problem? This stuff didn't need squeezing hard at all, but I was so used to going for force, I had used the whole tube on just a handful of favours.

I stuck my fingers together three times, mum nearly lost a finger to a kitchen knife, and we now have traces of super glue on our kitchen table (but don't ever point them out if you come round because I am pretending they aren't there.)

Eventually, though, we got them done. One more thing ticked off the list!

We're rapidly approaching the two month countdown now which is insane. I am starting to get so, so excited now. My friends have started choosing their outfits and sending me photos of what they're going to be wearing which makes me even more giddy.

I'm so desperate to talk about my dress and share photos of it, while wanting to keep it top secret at the same time, so hearing their outfit choices makes me all happy and excited.

Now that we're into March I'm starting to shift focus from the wedding onto my upcoming hen weekend. That will most certainly help me de-stress and forget about any wedding worries I may have (and probably everything we get up to that weekend as well!)