Not all the time, not even often, but sometimes it still hurts, and I’m sick of it.

Everyday I tell myself I’m doing SO MUCH BETTER. And 99% of the time, I am. I’m awesome. Then some silly little thing triggers some silly little memory and I have to stop, close my eyes, and regain my composure. Today it was packing tape. How ridiculous is that? I was thinking of sending out Christmas packages soon and wondering if I could still find that cute seasonal packing tape like they have sometimes at Old Navy.

That made me think of the packing tape I bought there around Valentines Day a few years ago.

That made me think of the package I wrapped with tape covered in little pink and red hearts and dropping it off at the post office one day after work.

That made me think of the man at the drop off smiling and saying “Looks like someone’s in love.”

That made me realize I don’t go to the post office anymore. I don’t put together fun little care packages full of silly presents and tasty treats for anyone anymore. I don’t buy rolls of seasonal packing tape and smile at the nice man who thinks I’m in love.