an incompetent football team based in Melbourne, Australia. Devoid of skills and talent, it only attracts the most narrow-minded, lazy, boisterous, boastful and idiotic supporters to its club.
The club and its supporters are generally held in great contempt by the general population, including those who do not follow AFL.

The Urban Dictionary Mug

The best sporting team that is, has been, or ever will be. A team that plays with more spirit, fairness and magic than any other team. A team that prides itself on playingtogether as one, not as a team of individuals. A team that is hated by other AFL/VFL clubs for no good reason. They are hated because unlike some other teams, the club and its supporters don't buckle under or try to conform to peer group pressure to be popular, they follow their hearts and sense of what is right and just. Peoplehate them for it because secretly thats what they want for themselves. This is why Collingwood is the best AFL/VFL team ever:

A greater all timewin/loss ratio than any team in its history. Number 1 on the all time ladder for the AFL/VFL.

More grand final appearances than any other team by a factor of two. Probably another reason why we are so hated, since chances are you will play us if you get to the big one.

If Collingwood is matched up to any individual team in the AFL/VFL except Carlton you will find that Collingwood has won more games than it has lost against that individual team. Carlton has won slightly more games when it has played Collingwood, than Collingwood has against it. However Collingwood has won more games in general against all teams than Carlton and lost less in its history(Collingwood has a greater all time win/loss ratio).

Many of the grand finals we lost were by small margins, unlike other teams that don't deserve to be there to begin with.

Has won 4 premierships in a row which is an all time record for any team.

Has the highest attendances of any club and as an average over its entire history more supporters.

The supporters are the most loyal group perhaps of any sporting team in the world and the most hated by other AFL/VFL teams as a result. A victim of prejudice like their club, Collingwood supporters are commonly labelled as idiots and dole bludgers despite most of them being just as intelligent and wealthy as other supporters if not more so.

If all these stats are objectively weighted in value and added together we have evidence for calling Collingwood by far the best team in AFL football ever.