Japanese

Jul 25 //
Obscure Video GamesGameplay is the least interesting thing here. The real star is the bizarre, ridiculous storyline. You and your friend C.A. pick up a hitchhiker as you're driving through the desert one day. You stop for lunch, and the Mafia accidentally hits the three of you with a bomb full of a nerve gas called "Tacklmacain." C.A. gets kidnapped by a mysterious stranger. You find out that the gas is slowly killing you, and you have to find the antidote. The restaurant owner turns out to be working undercover for the CIA and offers to help get you the antidote in exchange for your sniping skills.
It gets weirder, but I won't ruin the rest. If you want some more info (and spoilers), watch this video:
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The game isn't very long -- only about 12 stages -- but there is a branching storyline as well as challenge missions that give you some replay. But again, the sniping part is just not that fun, so even if you hit an ending, you'll probably be fine missing the rest.

Hit or miss?The Sniper 2 is not a good game. In fact, it's pretty much the epitome of "kusoge." But that's what makes it so entertaining. Terrible voice acting, mediocre graphics, and an incomprehensible story are what kept me playing al...

Jun 27 //
Obscure Video GamesThere's a variety of interesting power-ups to tread upon. A variety of Nike sneakers are available to alter your movement, but there's no indication that they were officially licensed. I assume Air Master was a reference to these swap-meet Air Jordans. As with many of the games I highlight here, piles of feces make an appearance, as well. For some reason in this game stepping in it makes you temporarily invincible. There is even one item that turns you into a pesticide can which can shoot at the bugs (as you can see in my GIF at the top).
The game is not without its faults, though. The five levels included aren't very long, but in a way this is good because it does get a bit repetitive. Also, the difficulty and frustration level can be a bit much. One of the main things that got me was the warp spots, which almost always take you back to an earlier point in the level. They spring up all over the place, and can be quite tricky (sometimes impossible) to avoid. The game also won't let you backtrack; if you get stuck in front of a warp, you have to take it. This kind of trial-and-error stuff is just begging to be played on an emulator with save states.
Overall, if you're forgiving and want to try something truly original, different, and (of course) challenging, I'd say Kick Challenger is worth checking out.
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1, 2, 3, kick it!In 1986 Nintendo released the Famicom Disk System add-on for the Famicom in Japan. For some reason the company decided it wasn't worth the time to sell it anywhere else in the world, but that didn't stop game makers from rele...

Jun 13 //
Obscure Video GamesThe snowboard slap-fighting in my GIF above is just one way to brutalize your babies.
Some more examples are:
electrified jump rope
vicious polar bears
skydiving "accidents"
giant killer snowballs
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's a ton of dangerous mini-games here, and they're divided into summer and winter events. Some are fun, some are frustrating, and some are just weird. There's even a two-player mode, so you can injure infants with a friend.
The Aka-Champion isn't an easy game to find (even online); but if you see it for a reasonable price then grab that baby and see if you can beat it.
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Hit me baby, one more timeWho wants to play a mini-game collection where babies slap the crap out of each other? Nobody? What about if they're creepy-looking Cabbage Patch Kid rejects? Still no? Oh well, that's what I'm going to talk about here anyway...

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Mar 07 //
Brittany Vincent
Criminal Girls: Invite Only (PS Vita [Reviewed], PlayStation TV)Developer: imageepochPublisher: NIS AmericaReleased: February 3, 2015MSRP: $39.99
Criminal Girls pulls you right down into Hell with a brand new job ahead of you. You're now Warden to a menagerie of young women who acted out during their time in the land of the living and are now suffering for it. Your goal is to push each one through a so-called "Redemption Program" so that they might become rehabilitated members of society. If they can complete the trials and tribulations ahead of them, they can escape eternal damnation. Not one of them like you, however, so motivating them or even getting them to do what you want can be a monumental task. As such, the girls act independently of you during pivotal game moments.
You're given four of them to rehabilitate to begin with, and tasked with seeking out the rest as you play. There's a very unique battle system in place as you navigate Hell, and to complicate matters further monsters and other nasties begin popping out that you must contend with. This means while you're working on getting these wayward souls rehabilitated, you'll have to deal with monster encounters as well.
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When you're thrust into battle, you don't select which attacks you'd like for the girls to perform. Instead, they will suggest their own moves, and you can select the one that makes the most sense. While this could result in moments where one team member is in dire need of healing or damage isn't dealt because there wasn't a suggested offensive attack, most of the time it works quite well. You can choose from four different options each match as well, so you're usually served up at least one action that makes sense in the context of battles. It's not difficult or even a bad battle system, but there are some bizarre machinations in place you'll have to work with in order to be successful, and that stems from the "Motivation" sequences you're required to take part in.
As previously mentioned, your new female charges don't like you very much. Motivation finds you dripping things onto the girls or even prodding them with cattle prod-like devices in order to get them to cooperate. The girls will assume sexually suggestive poses, though they're mostly enshrouded in a strange pink mist (I'll call it the adult fog of war) and stay silent while you "motivate" them using the touch screen to simulate a BDSM-style punishment.
These sexual mini-games are comprised of several tiers, though the girls are never completely nude in-game. As you complete your motivational tasks, each girl will come to you with a specific Order that you need to complete. Basically, you'll be asked to find an item, a piece of equipment, a snack, or other special item the girl would like from you.
You'll want to do all you can with this system in order to earn new moves, combos, and other useful mechanics for use against the game's plentiful enemies. In short, motivational moments are completely necessary, and while the game is actually a very competent role-playing game without these segments, as always, it will be touted as completely inane and unnecessarily sexual.
The time you put in with Motivation games, fighting off enemies, collecting specific Order items, and getting to know the girls is extremely rewarding, however. Throughout the course of the game you'll come to learn more and more about each of the diminutive delinquents, like why Ran's such a little firecracker or why some of the girls have diffficulty chatting with you at all.
The beauty of it all is you can experience character growth while still enjoying a title that's simple to pick up and put down with little fanfare. It's perfectly at home on the Vita, though it's clear that many of the backgrounds and areas you must explore were in fact recycled from the original PSP version of the game. Not too big of an issue, but it can clash a bit with the emotive and vibrant anime-styled character portraits.
Completing the compulsory mini-games may be uncomfortable for some players, but Criminal Girls: Invite Only is very much a competent game and deserves a look, especially if you've all but converted your Vita at this point into a waifu-collection machine. That's basically what I've done. The edits to the original Japanese version are tasteful, the girls are witty, and the battles are engaging in a very "mobile game" sort of way. You can decide how you feel about motivating these young women on your own, but for me? It feels right! I'm going to make upright citizens out of these ladies yet.
[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]

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Fishing games have been around a long time. The earliest one I remember playing is Activision's 1980 Fishing Derby for the Atari 2600. Despite its simplicity, it was great. Since then there have been tons more fishing titles,...

Feb 26 //
Alessandro FillariEtrian Mystery Dungeon (3DS)Developer: Spike ChunsoftPublisher: AtlusRelease date: April 7, 2015MSRP: $39.99
For those unaware, Etrian Mystery Dungeon is a spinoff of its mainline series Etrian Odyssey. Playing as adventurers seeking fame, fortune, and glory, you must explore dangerous monster-filled dungeons while helping out local townsfolk in need. In and around the village of Azlarga, you build your reputation amongst the locals who come to rely on you for help. Over the course of your adventures, you'll acquire new weaponry, abilities, and and party members that wish to join in on your successes, and hope to conquer the more nefarious and deadly dungeons that remain untouched by explorers' hands.
In similar vein to last year's Persona Q, EMD takes several of the series' concepts and gameplay ideas, and injects them into a brand new setting. In Mystery Dungeon, the action is moved to the tried-and-true roguelike dungeon crawler school of thought. With an overhead third-person angle, you have to keep watch of your party members and their surroundings as they venture through the environment. Utilizing grid-based movement, positioning is everything. Certain party members use either ranged or close-range abilities, and must be placed accordingly. With only four characters to bring with you into the field, you'll have to choose wisely from the several classes that EMD has to offer.
While exploring, you'll want to monitor the status of your party members. As some traps poison people, or debilitate movement, you have stay stocked up on recovery items. For every step you take, you also drain FP (food points), which affects stamina and combat prowess. Once that's completely drained, your party leader will sustain damage for every move you make. In order to stay ahead of this, you'll have to keep them well-fed, or have another member of the group take point. This puts an interesting spin on exploration, as often times you'll have your tank lead. But if he's too tired to take charge, then you might be forced to escape or have one of your more vulnerable members lead.
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Fortunately, there are many different ways to stay on top in dungeons. Certain classes can scout ahead and spot traps and monsters, while others can keep the party buffed and in good health. Also, there are several areas within the labyrinths that are fairly safe, which can be fortified by your group. In these forts, you'll remain safe, and they can be used for quick travel back to the outside. Forts are run by members of the guilds you can join back in Azlarga, and they help monitor your resources. Loot, minerals, and other special resources found in the dungeon can be taken back to the forts, though, keep in mind, they can be still be attacked and destroyed by monsters in the dungeon. So it's important to make sure if you want to invest the time and money to build one, especially in a dangerous location.
The Etrian Odyssey series is known for its tough challenges, and EMD definitely retains that for dungeon exploration. Every dungeon you travel to is randomly generated, which not only keeps things interesting, but has you on your toes. In some cases, the first few floors of the dungeon might be a cake walk, but traveling to a fresh location might have you walk right into several traps and powerful foes. Despite the challenges, there are many opportunities to save yourself and your crew. If you for instance wipe, you can send in rescue units for your team for evac back to town. Unfortunately, you'll lose out on items and currency found at that location. So it's always best to keep a fresh save at all times.
I'm usually not that partial to dungeon crawlers, but I found Etrian Mysery Dungeon to be charming, despite its difficulty. The visuals and art style are vibrant and colorful, which is a welcome departure from the common brown and grey aesthetic of roguelike dungeon crawler RPG titles. I found the presentation to be fun, and the world is one I would love to explore again.
I expect players to be quite taken with Mystery Dungeon. With its release in April, it should also scratch an itch for fans eager to play Etrian Odyssey V, which is still a ways off. Granted, this is a bit different than previous EO titles, but that's actually kind of a good thing. It's another approach to dungeon crawling, sure, but at its heart it's a similar experience fans will love.

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Feb 18 //
Alessandro FillariShin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker (3DS)Developer: AtlusPublisher: AtlusRelease date: May 5, 2015MSRP: $49.99
Set in near-future Japan, the world is facing an invasion from a demonic force known as the Septentriones. As the protagonist, you soon discover that a cellphone app called Nicaea sees the possible future deaths of friends and allies, which may also have clues on to how to stop the invaders. With only seven days to defeat them, the protagonist and his allies make a pact with a demon who dubs them the Devil Messengers, granting them the abilities and strength to fight back. The fate of the world now rests on the group to take down the Septrentriones, but along the way they'll have to manage the responsibilities of controlling an army of demons while handling teenage drama that can distract from the reality of their situation.
As stated previously, Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker is an enhanced version of the original game in addition to a substantial amount of new content. Including the original game's Septentrione arc, which features a new script and dialog, cutscenes, updated voice-work and music, and new demons to recruit -- it also has a brand new campaign taking place after the events of the original story known as the Triangulum arc. For those who are familiar with the original arc and want to jump into the new story, you can do so right from the get-go.
The Triangulum arc features many parallels to the original story, such as the foreshadowing Nicaea app and returning characters, but there any many deviations that'll surprises returning players. Not to give too much away, but certain characters and events will be entirely different, and will even have players looking at established characters in a new way. Though no progress will be carried over from the original campaign, the new content will take anywhere from 20-30 hours to complete, which also includes more demons and characters to recruit.
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Much like its predecessor, Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker tasks players with interacting with party members to forge friendships and create teams to battle armies of demons invading Tokyo. Battles take place in turn-based strategy format, where characters have to maneuver around the field to make their move against the enemy. Bringing four teams into battle, each ally leads their own unit with two demons fighting alongside them. Players will have to think ahead and use their strengths and special skills to outwit enemies.
The importance of character interaction is one of the hallmarks of MegaTen, and Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker expands upon that with strategic gameplay. Character interaction and forming friendships is important to succeed, and you'll even have to make deals with the devil (literally) to get your own demon army ahead. Over the course of seven days, you'll have to the strengthen bonds of allies with the Fate System (similar to Persona's Social Links), and recruit powerful demons to stand a chance against the enemy forces.
I had a nice amount of time with Record Breaker, and it seems to retain the heart and fun that SMT fans adored from the original title. There's a rabid following for Devil Survivor 2, and it feels that this enhanced version is very much a love letter to the original game that seeks to give it a much more exciting and satisfying finish. I got quite a laugh with the new voice work and script, which remains as self-aware and humorous with its characters than ever.
Though there's been some concern about the premium price tag ($49.99), there's definitely a lot more content to go around with this entry. With the updated Septentrione arc along with a sizable epilogue campaign in the Triangulum story arc, Record Breaker is the most robust package in the Devil Survivor series, and it will see even more content with future DLC. It'll certainly tide you over until Persona 5 will be released.

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Sep 18 //
Steven HansenThe demo we were shown had you flying on a gryphon through a gorgeous, 2D overworld where you can loot chests and other items. Enemies were represented on screen as black, white-eyed shadows, not dissimilar from Persona. Bumping into one started a turn-based battle, which included the player character, a support character (the lil shorty) in the foreground and a multiplayer ally in the background.
There are twelve classes based on the zodiac, all attached to four different elemental advantages and all representing typical RPG roles (tanks, and so on). You can switch your class during battle, which changes your character's appearance and your skills. There will also be some character customization when you begin the game -- hopefully something that let's you get away from the default face, the smirking blonde.
Rizzo explained to me that the multiplayer is both real time and asynchronous. You can have a friend's character being directly controller by them or, if they're not present, AI. The story is told through animated, 2D cutscenes and written dialogue, while the experience is meant to be persistent, like an MMO (Rizzo got his start working on Everquest).

Final Fantasy VII and XV writer; Final Fantasy Tactics and XII composer
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Jul 06 //
Brittany Vincent
Monster Monpiece (PlayStation Vita)Developer: Compile HeartPublisher: Idea FactoryReleased: May 24, 2014MSRP: $29.99
Monster Monpiece is set in the magical world of Yafaniel, where there's a large dearth of male inhabitants. Human women befriend and train Monster Girls, which is where the card battles come in. Young May is a human who's trying to reach the rank her mother did as a powerful monster trainer, but on her journey to become one her friend Elza becomes one of the "Lost." With Elza having succumbed to what's essentially zombification, May has to find a way to cure her before she takes control of the world's Magus Quartzes. While it's not exactly too original of a narrative, it sets a nice tone for the rest of the game, which definitely won't be what many are expecting.
Card battles are the heart of the affair, with players collecting hundreds of cards depicting hyper-sexualized versions of mythical creatures like minotaurs. Once you’ve settled on a deck, you’ll use it to send chibi versions of the monster girls to duke it out for supremacy. Battles play out on a 7x3 grid, where the player begins on the left side of the screen and advances toward the opponent on the right. Reaching your opponent's stronghold is the name of the game, which is done so by playing cards each turn in order to summon monster girls and take out your enemy's defenses.
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When you place your card, your monster girl will begin rampaging toward the baddies with reckless abandon and attack automatically for the damage number on her card. This leads to inevitable strategic snafus during battle, as no one monster has the ability to carry the rest of her team to face off against an entire deck.
You've got typical types such as Melee or Healer, which will aid in your cause tremendously. Place a healer card behind a melee attacker to recover a negligible amount of health each round, or opt to use a card to strengthen the allies in the immediate vicinity. There are also several different species of cards, which lend bonuses and additional combat boosts depending on which you put into play. For instance, each card has its own particular "aura," which comes in four different colors. Put down two cards with the same color in a row and you'll receive a bonus, same as if you can manage to play three in a row. It's the little things that count.
Some cards come packing their own special sort of bonus, denoted by a marking on the card. These monster girls are good to go with additional buffs that you'll want to make use of every single time they come up in your deck. These buffs may be additional health points, another turn in battle, or they may bolster the damage done per turn. No matter the case, they're extremely useful and can turn the tide of battle in many ways.
Unfortunately, while battles are rewarding and scratch that itch for strategic card placement, there do tend to be entirely too many of them. It's not Skies of Arcadia-level bonkers as far as encounters go, but it can be extremely frustrating, especially if you haven't quite gotten the hang of how best to create decks to combat an onslaught of enemies. And even for those with an abundance of combat prowess, it's never fun to be thrust into battle every five minutes.
Outside of battle, the game progresses in a fairly linear fashion where you're exploring a specific map that you can receive money and other spoils from. Until the end of the chapter most of your time is spent in card battles or purchasing new cards and items. It's all fairly simple stuff, things that you would see in any role-playing game, except for one thing.
The First Crush Rub minigame has become synonymous with Monster Monpiece, a mode where you "rub" your touch screen until a gauge on-screen reaches the top. You must find the girls' weak spots, rub, pinch, and touch there, until you reach "Extreme Love Mode." You then use the front and rear touch pads to push your girl over the limit. It might be better played in the private confines of your home, but it's a minigame that does help you out in the long run, powering up cards and altering base stats so that you're better prepared for your next battle. It's not a huge deal, but be prepared to face it if you're going to be playing around anyone. I won’t pretend that it’s anything other than sexual, but we’re all adults here. Rub away. Turn down the sound if it bothers you, and power up those cards. You’ll be glad that you did later.
In all, Monster Monpiece looks and feels great, and I found myself spending hours on it when I should have stopped long ago to attend to more pressing matters -- something I never expected to happen with such an out-there premise. It simply shouldn't be taken at face value because the cards are "too sexy" or because there happens to be an overtly sexual minigame in which you rub your Vita’s front and rear panels, which is actually completely optional.
It’s an excellent addition to the niche library that has made its home on the Vita, and for $29.99, it’s an intriguing card battler you won’t find anywhere else. Ignore the taboos and give it a shot, especially if you’re looking for something a little different than a dungeon crawler or traditional role-playing game. It’ll thrill you, chill you, and fulfill you, creature of the night.

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