Narrator: The legend you are about to
hear is true, only the needle should be changed to protect the record.

*Dummm da dum dummm.... dummm da-dum dum dummm....*

St. George: This is the countryside,
my name is St. George, I'm a knight. Saturday, July 10th, 8:05 p.m.
I was working out at the castle out on the night watch when a call
came in from the chief: A dragon had been devouring maidens. Homicide.
My job: Slay 'em.

*Dummm da dum dummm.... *

St. George: You call me chief?

Chief: Yes, the dragon again, devouring
maidens. The kings daughter may be next.

St. George: Mmmhmm...You got a lead?

Chief: ...eeh, Nothing much to go on.
Say did you take that 45 automatic into the lab to have them check
on it?

St. George: Yeah,
you were right.

Chief: I was right?

St. George: Yeah, it was a gun

*Budumm budumm dumm da-dummmm*

St. George: 8:22 p.m. I talked to one
of the maddens who had almost been devoured.

*knock knock knock* [door opens]

St. George: Could I talk to you Maam?

Madden: who er you?

St. George: I'm St. George maam. Homicide
maam. I want to ask you a few questions maam. I understand you were
almost devoured by the maam is that right dragon?

Madden: It was terrible, he breathed
fire on me, he burned me already!

St. George: How can I be sure of that
maam.

Madden: Believe me, I got it straight
from the dragon's mouth!

*Dummm dummm dum dum da-dummmm!*

St. George: 11:45 p.m. I rode over to
the kings highway, I saw a man, I stopped to talk to him. Pardon me
sir, could I talk to you for just a minute sir?

Nave: Sure I don't mind.

St. George: What do you do for a living?

Nave: I'm a nave.

St. George: Didn't they pick you up
on a 903 last year for stealing tarts?

Nave: Yeah, so what do you want make
a federal case out of it?

St. George: No sir. We heard there was
a dragon operating in this neighborhood. We just wanted to know if
you'd seen him.

Nave: Sure I've seen him.

St. George: Mmhmm, could you describe
him for me?

Nave: What's to describe, you see one
dragon you've seen 'em all!

St. George: Would you try and remember
sir, just for the record. We just want to get the facts sir.

Nave: Well, he was, you know, he had
orange polkadots...

St. George: Yes sir.

Nave: ...purple feet, breathing fire
and smoke,

St. George: mmmhmm

Nave: ...and one big bloodshot eye,
right in the middle of his forehead, and uh, like that.

St. George: Notice anything unusual
about him?

Nave: No, he's just the run of the mill
dragon, you know.

St. George: Mmhmm, yes sir, you can
go now.

Nave: Hey, hey! by the way, how you
gonna catch him?

St. George: I thought you'd never ask.
A dragon net.

*Dummmmmm duuummmm dum dumm dummmmmmmmmm....*

St. George: 3:05 p.m. I was riding back
in to the courtyard to make my report to the lab, then it happened.

*Du-dummmm*

*Roar!*

St. George: It was the dragon

Dragon: Hey, I'm da fire breden dragon,
you must be St. George right?!

St. George: Yes sir.

Dragon: I see you got one of those new
45 caliber soards

St. George: That's about the size of
it.

Dragon: Wuhaaahahayayahaaaagh, you slay
me!

St. George: That's what I came here
to talk to you about.

Dragon: Wuh do yuh mean?

St. George: I'm take'n you in on a 502,
you figure it out.

Dragon: What's the charge.

St. George: Devouring maddins out of
season.

Dragon: OUT OF SEASON! YOU'LL NEVER
PIN THAT RAP ON ME, DO YOU HEAR ME, COP!

St. George: Yeah. I hear ya. I got you
on a 412 to.

Dragon: A 412! WHAT'S A 412!!

St. George: Overacting. Let's go.

*Dumm du-dummm, dum da-dum da-dum*

Narrator: On September the 5th the dragon
was tried and convicted. His fire was put out and his madden devouring
license revoked. Maden devouring out of season is punishable by a
term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years.