USA today is what happens when the coupon section takes over the newspaper

Is this an article about global warming or 50 cents off tide

Either way, the pictures are so pretty

Tonight, is about defending the first amendment and the freed press and I am truly honored to be here.

I don't have a solution on how to win back trust

Because you are how the president gets his news

Not from advisers, not from experts, not from intelligence agencies

You can't make any mistakes because when one of you messes up, he blames your entire group.

And now you know what it feels like to be a minority

And... and I can see some of you guys complaining, like what?

I gotta work twice as hard for half the credit? Remember...

You're a minority!

You guys got a lot more experience than me, but I got three decades of being brown.

So if you want to survive the age of Trump, you gotta think like a minority.

And now that you're a minority, oh man...

Everyone is gonna expect you to be the mouth piece for the entire group.

So I hate to say it, but somewhere right now...

all of you are being represented... by Heraldo Rivera.

See now that you are truly a minority

there is a distorted version of you out there

you know... Taco Bell for Mexican culture

Panda Express for Chinese culture

Huffington Post for Journalism

And Then

When you actually manage to do great work

You get hit with the most condescending line in the English language

Hey...

You're actually one of the good ones

Then you have to smile and say "Thank you"

Kinda sucks, doesn't it?

By the way, you guys are not really minorities, you guys are super white.... but...

...but...I can see MS NBC behind, "We got our minority card..."

No!

... but your work is invaluable. And I mean that, as a fake journalist. I am rooting for you.

We're a hundred days in. One thousand, three hundred and sixty days to go.

You guys are running the marathon, and I'm at the half-mile mark giving you tape for your nipples.

So I'm wishing you nothing but the best!

You chafed then, you'll chafe ..... a long way to go!

This .... This has been one of the strangest events I have ever done in my life...

I'm being honest with you!

Like, I feel like I'm a tribute in The Hunger Games...

Like, if this goes poorly, Steve Bannon gets to eat me... but...

I was asked to not roast the President and the administration, in their absentia

... and I completely understand that.

We are in a very strange situation, where there's a very combative relationship

between the press and the President

but

now that you guys are minorities

just for this moment

You might understand the position I was in

and it's the same position a lot of minority kids feel in this country

and it's, you know, "Do I come up here, and just try to fit in...?

... and not ruffle any feathers?"

... Or do I say how I really feel?"

Because this event is about celebrating the First Amendment and Free Speech.

Free Speech is the foundation of an open and liberal democracy

from college campuses to the White House

Only in America

can a first generation Indian-American Muslim kid

get on this stage,

and make fun of the President!

The orange man behind the Muslim ban!

... and it's a sign to the rest of the world

it's an amazing tradition,

that shows the entire world

that even the President

is not beyond the reach of the First Amendment.

But the President didn't show up!

Ale prezident se nezjel!

... because Donald Trump doesn't care about free speech!

The man who tweets everything that enters his head

refuses to acknowledge

the Amendment that allows him to do it.

Think about it, it's almost, what is it, eleven?

It's eleven pm right now.

In four hours, Donald Trump will be tweeting

about how bad Nicky Minhaj bombed at this dinner!

... and he'll be doing it, completely sober!

... and that's his right!

and I'm proud that all of us

are here tonight to defend that right.

even if the man in the White House never would.

So I'd like to thank the White House Correspondents' Association for having me here...

I want to thank all of you.

I want to thank Woodward and Bernstein for inspiring a generation of journalists...

and I would like to thank Donald Trump

for inspiring the next!

Thank you so much, it's been an honor

Good night! I love you! Thank you!

Thank you, guys, I really appreciate it. Thank you!

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Description

Hasan Minhaj's full comedy routine at the 2017 White House Correspondents' Dinner. The comedian told one blistering joke after another about the sitting President of the United States, Donald Trump, and the media that covers him. Given this moment in history, it will go down as one of the bravest, and most timely, comedic performances in the dinner's history.