Y’all Get Ready: Stereotypes That Will Probably Get Exposed When MTV Does the South

The Jersey Shore producers are headin’ to dixieland. But before you southern gals get your perfect panties in a bunch, don’t worry Snookie and The Situation aren’t rolling to town. Instead, it will be a whole new cast of southern belles and gents aiming to get famous off of drunken (but oh-so-classy, we are in the south, after all) shenanigans. So get out your finest Lilly dress and matching hair bow, casting begins this summer and producers are on the hunt for the proudest southerners who want to “Party their asses off on the sickest reality show during one big Crawfish peelin’, Poboy eatin’, Bourgbon drinkin’, Dixie lovin’ bayou summer.” …I wish I even knew what that meant.

Naturally, I’ll be tuning in whenever this show airs. I am not ashamed to admit I have a soft spot for southern men (and that sexy accent). However, I know this is likely to piss a lot of people off and play up some serious stereotypes. Here are the groups that I think are at risk.

Southern Sorority Girls: This one is going to be impossible to avoid. Of course not all southern sisters are going to be like the ones inevitably cast in the show, bless their hearts. Their baking might not be perfect, their arts and crafting less than desirable and they might actually eat a meal or two. Maybe. On alternating Tuesdays.

Hicks: Of course we always hear about the rednecks in the south. I can see MTV incorporating all kinds of hick hating into the episodes, which of course won’t be scripted at all. If the trailer park gets cable, you can guarantee they’ll be angrily throwing their pack of menthols at the screen.

Hicks Without Teeth: See above. It can only get worse.

Any southerner who is not all about a “crawfish peelin’, poboy eatin’, bourbon drinkin’ Dixie lovin’ bayou summer.” Kind of like how Jersey kids get all angry that The Jersey Shore is giving their state a bad rep (as if it didn’t have one before). This show will be just one more vehicle to reinforce southern stereotypes that obviously don’t fit for everyone but will leave the rest of us giggling and perhaps craving a sweet tea and some pulled pork.

People Who Marry Young: Clueless taught me this stereotype at a young age,“ As if. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky.” And maybe this problem isn’t rampant, but going for that MRS degree? I’d say that’s still in the playing field.

People Who Marry Their Cousins: I really hope this one doesn’t come up. Really.