just the mere fact that she has affected your life for 5 days with this matter, she is already "winning".

Define 'affected' .... you make it sound as if she's crying in her coffee and unable to cope with her everyday living. I don't see this as a "win" or "loose" issue at this point - more of a "right" and "wrong". Since when is standing up for yourself and not allowing yourself to be treated as if you were something on the bottom of someone's high heel considered a waste of time.

Funny thing is this isn't even 'going' to court yet - this lady has to take time away from her 'impotent' people and file the case yet. So? Let her, but damned if she should be rewarded just for waving her arms and skirt all while chanting her crazy talk! Maybe if enough people stood up for our rights, people such as this would think twice before treating someone else like this. It's the 'Don't disturb my back yard' attitude that allows people to continue acting in what I consider an abusive manner.

When I say "affected", I do not imply that she is crying in her coffee. Affected as in affecting her everyday life. The fact that she is having to deal with it, talk about it, live it daily. That is "affected". As far as "winning", I put that in quotes because this is what was used in a previous post about the lady "winning" by paying the lady off. I'm not saying it is a win or lose situation. What I meant by the last comment is that sometimes, people want to cause problems. That is their whole point and this could be this lady's point. Just to cause problems. One person is not going to change the person she is and has always been. And, I'm not saying do not stand up for your rights. We all have rights. And, I'm sure she felt she had the right to eat a $500 cake and she didn't. I'm not on the other side. I am on her side. I'm sorry. But I think you misinterpreted my post.

staceyssweettreats said: "And, I'm sure she felt she had the right to eat a $500 cake and she didn't. I'm not on the other side. I am on her side. I'm sorry. But I think you misinterpreted my post."

I am responding to what I've highlight...how do we know that she/they DIDN'T get to eat cake!? That is what SHE is saying and she still hasn't proven it! Just wanted to point that out because I think you may have missed something in the other posts...that is why we are all still so curious about this situation...we still don't know!

WHAT!!!! You are going to pay her and not throw the pennies at her OK I for one am mad j/k of course

I think if I was going to pay anything to this witch I would just pay the full amount back and say "it appears you really need this more then I do".

If this person is really a rich, name dropper, there won't be anything worse then for you to imply she is "poor and needy".

But then again, I'm one that would act childish. I admit it. I'm bad.

Oh one other thing you could do is to go to the church she donates and talk to the priest. See if he can talk some reason into this girl. It does say in the bible if you can not work something between the two of you then you should go to the church heads and have them help out.

But it is NOT Bdrider's fault that the gorgeous cake ALLEGEDLY fell over and therefore noone got to eat it. If I spent $500 on a cake (even before I was into cake artistry myself) I would have made d*mned sure that there was a safe area for it to be placed. I worked catering part time for a couple of years, and I spent a few tuition hours learning about structural stability (Construction Science classes). And I know that if I wanted a cake that was as essentially spindly as the fab golf bag was - I would have made sure there was NO possibility of the venue (vibrations of the floor)/table/placement near the DJ (unthinkable) causing a tip-over. That would be under MY purview as the person RECEIVING the cake and hiring the hall, unless I was renting a table FROM the cake provider. Not the cake artist's table? Not her/his problem!When (should it) the cake fell, I would have made sure that noone was globbed w/cake, then taken pictures. There's NO way I could come back as a respectable person after an hour and a half of upright cake and claimed the baker/decorator was at fault. Thus if "my" $500 cake just tumped over any time after the handoff (w/no initial problems at all) and went uneaten? Not the provider's problem, it's something the 'client' has to just suck up and move on. If I am able to spend $500 on the cake plus the money for the rest of the shindig, I would NOT be hurting for cash...if I am...then I should have NOT invited the *ahem* Hitachi folks (please that means that "spitwad" WROTE OFF the party, there was VERY little OOP (out of pocket) expense to her - she just needs to admit that!)!!!Spitwad needs to pony up an apology PRONTO - and get back on her meds! Peace,Wendl

Yes, I believe she does. And when this woman has to show that she has no case in front of a judge, then it will go away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by staceyssweettreats

However, if you have to find a babysitter for your children, pull your helper from work and take the lawyer down to court, the expenses are just piling up!

There are some things that cannot be measured in money. Your reputation and integrity is one of them.

-------------------------

If it was me ....... it would be worth every penny to show this woman that she cannot just walk all over someone ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE IS WRONG. I agree, two wrongs don't make a right and this client has made ALL the 'wrongs' in this scenario. And I dont' think BD is "wrong" if she decides to go to court and stand up for herself. When did that EVER become the "wrong" thing to do?

My professional reputation and integrity is worth WAY more than the cost of a sitter and the payroll for one helper to take a day off of work. I would actually be VERY insulted if someone implied my integrity isn't worth the cost of a babysitter .... especially if I've worked 25 years to get to this point.

It's already been said: She thinks she's a power person in her community and everyone is just supposed to roll over and play dead when she barks.

Well, my integrity is worth the effort and cost it would take to show her that she is NOT the final say and not everyone is afraid of her. Because that's what she's banking on .... that everyone is "afraid" of her because of self-perceived importance.

Yes, I'm sure we all want this to go away. But I dont' believe in burying my head in the sand when my professional reputation and integrity is at stake.

WOW! Maybe this will be my last post ever to CC...

I'm not saying that a baby sitter, the payroll of her helper, etc are not work her reputation or integrity. And it was definitely NOT an insult and I definitely hope bdrider did not take it that way. I scanned most of the other messages from other members. But the ones from bdrider I read completely. If you look back at her previous posts, these are things she mentioned and I was referring to what she stated. I never stated going to court would make a "wrong". My point is that everyone is posting comments based off emotion. Basically, everyone is angry and upset how the lady is handling the situation and talking to bdrider. When I say 2 wrongs don't make a right, I am saying that we can't all respond with emotion. Sometimes, we have to respond professionally and with the best option for us and our family. Its great that you think that you are the person in the world that can show this person that you will not roll over and play dead when she barks and that everyone is not afraid of her. However, some people don't feel the need to battle that. What I know about myself is way more important than what others perceive. I know I am not afraid of her and she does not control me and that is all that matters. The funny part is that people like this don't care about people trying to prove themselves. You won't prove anything to this lady. She will continue to be the person she has been all these years and will laugh about what she took you through.

Again, this is my opinion and I'm entitled to it whether anyone else agrees or disagrees. I don't comment on others' comments that I don't agree with or tell them that their opinion is wrong. This is what has prevented me from responding in the past and will make me think twice about responding in the future. My post was taken negatively as if I was trying to insult bdrider and that is definitely not the case. Please keep in mind that everyone is entitled to their opinion and that you may not agree. That is what makes this world great. That we are all different. But ultimately, my support is for bdrider as I know this is a difficult situation. Not the right or wrong, lose or win, court or no court. We can all post what we would do. But bdrider is the only one living it!

bdrider, I'm sorry for everything that has happened - no one should have to go through that stress. I just wanted to support your decision, whatever that may be, and hope that you never have to deal with this lady again once everything is finalized.

And definitely post a paypal account link. I'm in for $10. Even if it is just to cover the stresses of the situation and allow you to buy a bottle of wine to relax with!

But it is NOT Bdrider's fault that the gorgeous cake ALLEGEDLY fell over and therefore noone got to eat it. If I spent $500 on a cake (even before I was into cake artistry myself) I would have made d*mned sure that there was a safe area for it to be placed. I worked catering part time for a couple of years, and I spent a few tuition hours learning about structural stability (Construction Science classes). And I know that if I wanted a cake that was as essentially spindly as the fab golf bag was - I would have made sure there was NO possibility of the venue (vibrations of the floor)/table/placement near the DJ (unthinkable) causing a tip-over. That would be under MY purview as the person RECEIVING the cake and hiring the hall, unless I was renting a table FROM the cake provider. Not the cake artist's table? Not her/his problem!When (should it) the cake fell, I would have made sure that noone was globbed w/cake, then taken pictures. There's NO way I could come back as a respectable person after an hour and a half of upright cake and claimed the baker/decorator was at fault. Thus if "my" $500 cake just tumped over any time after the handoff (w/no initial problems at all) and went uneaten? Not the provider's problem, it's something the 'client' has to just suck up and move on. If I am able to spend $500 on the cake plus the money for the rest of the shindig, I would NOT be hurting for cash...if I am...then I should have NOT invited the *ahem* Hitachi folks (please that means that "spitwad" WROTE OFF the party, there was VERY little OOP (out of pocket) expense to her - she just needs to admit that!)!!!Spitwad needs to pony up an apology PRONTO - and get back on her meds! Peace,Wendl

I'm sorry. I'm not saying it was bdrider's fault at all. We do not know what happened. We are speculating because none of us were there. I guess I should have just said, "Go to court and throw pennies at her". I'll look into deleting all of my posts...

bdrider... I am so sorry. I am not saying any of this is your fault and I do not intend to insult you or your profession. If any of my posts were seen that way, I sincerely apologize as that was not my intention. I hope you have found the path that works for you.

drinder - I wish I get through the screen to give you a hug! I'm sure you need one about now.

You and your family are in my prayers, only you can decide what is best for your family. I know what it's like to have to put the family first.But..if it was me, I would ask to see a picture of the fallen cake after then would I make my decision about whether or not to offer a refund.

Again, this is my opinion and I'm entitled to it whether anyone else agrees or disagrees. I don't comment on others' comments that I don't agree with or tell them that their opinion is wrong. This is what has prevented me from responding in the past and will make me think twice about responding in the future. My post was taken negatively as if I was trying to insult bdrider and that is definitely not the case. Please keep in mind that everyone is entitled to their opinion and that you may not agree. That is what makes this world great. That we are all different. But ultimately, my support is for bdrider as I know this is a difficult situation. Not the right or wrong, lose or win, court or no court. We can all post what we would do. But bdrider is the only one living it!

Please don't delete your posts, you're entitled to your opinion, just like everyone else on here, just because your posts are different (which can be a good thing.. getting different perspectives) does not mean your ideas are any less valid

staceyssweettreats, I honestly don't think anyone is saying you're blaming bdrider and I don't think Indydebi's response to you was negative, so to speak. I think she was just trying to counter some of your points with her own. No name calling, nothing. I don't think anyone said your side was "wrong"...I actually agree with many things you said. It's ok and possible to have a healthy debate without getting ugly and this thread has managed to pretty much stay that way. There's no reason to write off the entire board because someone else voiced their opinion as well.

Ultimately, it's up to each individual which battles they choose to fight.

And I think everyone here has the same idea - support bdrider (wish I knew her name too! lol)

LOL! I would be tempted to pay her just a couple of dollars OVER the amount (I'm stubborn though and have a righteous sense of indignation with this - the amount ONLY after being stated by a judge), then start invoicing her for my change. (please be aware - this is just a joke - not advice or a serious statement )

I think when I first logged in and saw my post being quoted in what I felt initially were negative responses, it put me on the defensive. What I thought was a supportive post ended up having words connected to it such as "crying, insulting, degrading, not her fault, etc." Sometimes what is typed out does not come across the correct way. I felt the need to defend that I am not against anyone. Just offering another opinion. And didn't quite understand why my post was being picked a part, i guess... (And maybe its the 5 meds I am on battling the flu...Hmmmm!) But, I certainly won't write off CC because I have learned a lot since I've been on here and even though I am very new to this, I think I have some things to offer to the community. New lesson, don't take the responses to my posts so personally.

With that said, I'll put the focus back where it needs to be. Off me! and back on bdrider as we all support the decision she has to make and hope it all works out for the best. Just know that in the "bickering" (if you call it that) back and forth, it was all to help and in support of you!

I've been following this from the beginning and just checked in. I wish you the best of luck! I know whatever you chose would be right for you, no matter how difficult it was...the lady didn't deserve any of your hard earned money, but unfortunately, it was just the cost of doing business.Don't let her stop you! You are incredibly talented!

.... but I don't think she meant to degrade bdrider for her decision. She was only stating her opinion and what she would do under the same circumstances.

Thanks, lionladydi, you are correct. If you read the entire post, I did state just that.

Looks like some wires got crossed in the world of typed communication. stacey, it was not intended as a negative thread towards your comments .... as lionlady points out, I was just pointing out what *I* would do if it was me. It was not directed at what BD should do, as I realize the decision is hers and hers alone, since she is the one actually living it.

So as stacey said ... back to the point! I just remembered my daughter is going to NJ in a couple of weeks to visit her in-laws. I'm pretty darn sure I can fit in her trunk to meet up with all of the penny throwers!

I haven't said my 2 cents yet...so all I have to say is you go with your gut, because thats the right way to go. I will support your decision no matter what it is. Oh and by the way YOU BETTER PUT UP YOUR PAYPAL INFO, because I am being serious about helping you out!!! Good Luck

I, like everyone else, definitely support whatever decision you make because only you know what is best for you and your family. However, I personally would want to see her pictures before I made a decision to refund any money. The pictures would probably tell you a lot. Like which direction did the cake fall (sideways, forward, or backward). Is the cakeboard still on the table in the picture or did the cakeboard hit the floor also? Is the center support dowel still in place and the cake fell down away or around it? How much of the cake fell? All of it? Sorry, just too many questions in my mind. I would have to tell my lawyer I could not make a decision about a refund until I saw the pictures.

Your cakes are wonderful and you are very talented. Whatever the outcome, don't let this person make you doubt yourself. I greatly admire the way you have handled this situation so far. Keep your chin up and don't fall to her level.

One last thought from me then I'll go back to lurking... Why on earth, if the cake was leaning and THEN falling, didn't she try to save it??? I mean, if I had a $500 cake and I saw that it was LEANING and even remotely possibly going to fall, I would have pre-empted it and laid it down on it's side so that it wouldn't fall off the table. or take it to the kitchen so they could start plating it. I mean, 1 1/2 hours into the party, I"m sure enough people saw it standing and thought it was cool and so forth, that she would have gotten her rocks off anyway... If the Hitachi people were SO close, they really should have said something about it leaning. So, BDRider, you should sue the Hitachi people for being SO neglegent and ALLOWING your masterpiece to fall. THey have big bucks!!! Mental trauma and so forth... Think about it!!!

I don't know how I missed it until now, but I just read the last two pages and I would like to ensure 'staceyssweettreats' understands no one meant to make her feel bad. I agree that sometimes the meanings or intents of the postings are often misinterpreted. Personaly I would like to apologize if my response made you feel in any way 'unwelcomed' - absolutely not the intent - sometimes I like a good debate and don't mean to hurt anyones feelings or put you on the defense by it! Don't ever feel like you need to delete or not respond to any postings - you're here and a part of the CC family - whether we agree together or not.

Just don't threaten to sue one of us !

Sorry I didn't read those posts until now, I really hope you don't go anywhere! I guess after enough posts (here and other forums) you develope a bit of a ' tough skin', just remember at CC no ever intends to hurt your feelings or 'attack' you - we're all cut from the same cake here.

mommyle, that is a really good point. If she noticed or it was brought to her attention that the cake seemed to be leaning I would think she would ask the kitchen to begin serving it before anything happened.

rider, there have been a lot of good points made. You may want to go through this post and make notes.

I think you are making a very smart and professional decision. It would be wonderful if this situation could turn out fair and even, but that is not life. I personally believe you made the right decision. And I am also one to think that payment should be made via certified check. Acting in the most professional manner possible is the best thing for your business Others that attended the party know of this experience, and it will speak of your professionalism more for them to hear you offered a partial refund via check as opposed to via boxes of pennies.

Karma will get this lady, don't you worry about that.

As for the settlement, I'd offer $150, and if she counters offer $150 + tip. Good luck!!

If this hadworked at the country club I worked at for nine years there would be a little bit of an investigation. For one...SURELY a floor plan between the establishment and the customer was planned. If indeed it was that means that everyone knew where the cake was going to be located and she should have signed an "agreement" form. That would basically get the establishment off the hook for damages. YOU should NOT be on the hook anyway...at all! You put it where she asked....either the band or her guests are responsible. I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Best thing you can do....pray about it and turn it over to The MAN!

DH reminded me that I DID do a CSI on a wedding cake ! A couple of years ago a friend who owns a restraunt/banquet facility had me pop down to look at a cake that had collapsed during a reception. OC the bride was flipping out and blame was being placed on the hall.

Turns out it was the bakery. This FOUR tier, 4inches per tier, chocolate ganache stacked wedding cake had NO plates, NO supports, NO dowels, NO straws, and it was 80+ degrees.

Still waiting to see crazy cow's photos. Waiting for her to claim there was no camera there.