Yeah but is it love though, or is it something else? Because maybe it's not even love at this point and that it's just being lonely or what have you and then what? I mean could what I be thinking is love when it could be something else and then if it is something else, am I wasting my time on what I think is love?

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ya know what else spratt...IMO...ya gotta get outside of yourself a bit...we all do...what I mean is heck, we all have wounds...we all have the ability to royally screw up a relationship, any relationship...we can't live out of that space...we just move forward and do the best that we can and learn from the past but don't drag it around with us like a ball and chain....fear is a useless companion and usually nets us what we are expecting....and I'd say that that's another fine thing to consider...what we are expecting...IMO the less expectations and dreams and fantasies, the better the reality...this is not to say that I never have a goal or a hope or a standard for a relationship but its not in the forefront and I'm not constantly examining it....just random thoughts that may or may not apply to you...hug

ya know what else spratt...IMO...ya gotta get outside of yourself a bit...we all do...what I mean is heck, we all have wounds...we all have the ability to royally screw up a relationship, any relationship...we can't live out of that space...we just move forward and do the best that we can and learn from the past but don't drag it around with us like a ball and chain....fear is a useless companion and usually nets us what we are expecting....and I'd say that that's another fine thing to consider...what we are expecting...IMO the less expectations and dreams and fantasies, the better the reality...this is not to say that I never have a goal or a hope or a standard for a relationship but its not in the forefront and I'm not constantly examining it....just random thoughts that may or may not apply to you...hug

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That's true, and this is why I'm going to go for it! Ok, no I'm not going to go for it, because he already asked me to dance with him lol! We got into a conversation at work today, and he said that he really wanted to learn how to Ballroom Dance. I told him how much the cost was and everything else that I knew about our studio.

He asked if you needed a partner, and I said no. I said it's all very professional and that you can dance with whomever. He then said that he would like to take privates, but that he's saving the money to buy a new car. So, he can only spend $20 a week on lessons. (For us it's $10 a night if you don't go with a package deal.)

So, I told him that I would get him a calendar, so that he can decide what he wants to learn. I told him that I'll let him know where the place is at and everything else lol. (And later on I'll tell him that I'll partner with him on the nights that he decides to go on lol. I should have said that during our talk, but I didn't think about it until afterwards lol. But I still have time to work this in lol!!!)

Then we talked about going to clubs and dancing there. He asked if it were hard to find someone to dance with at clubs, because I already knew how to dance. And I said in some ways it is depending on the situation. Then I told him how we go out to the clubs and that it's free if he wants to come out on those nights and that all you have to pay is if you want drinks etc.

So, how did I do? Did I handle this ok lol? He asked me a ton of questions. I tried to answer like I wasn't desperate or anything lol, because I'm not, but sometimes you can sound like that if you are not answering the right way. It was great too, because he asked me this stuff in front of everyone. He didn't care who was right by us (which was all the girls lol). He said he's not afraid of making a fool of himself, so I think that's why he had courage to just say whatever lol. Do you think he's interested, and how should I respond to him now? Should I keep doing what I'm doing or what lol?

Only other thing I'm sensing here is that he may have a sincere interest in taking dance lessons. Since you can provide him with the answers and you are handling yourself well, then his makes it easy for him to ask such questions in front of the others. So ... becareful of setting your expectations to high while building upon the current level of interaction.

Only other thing I'm sensing here is that he may have a sincere interest in taking dance lessons. Since you can provide him with the answers and you are handling yourself well, then his makes it easy for him to ask such questions in front of the others. So ... becareful of setting your expectations to high while building upon the current level of interaction.

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That's what I'm afraid of. The thing that gets me is that there is another guy at work that has been Ballroom Dancing for five years, and this guy knows this. So, why did he wait this long to ask me questions when he knows the other guy better and he knows that he has been taking dancing lessons too?

That's what I'm afraid of. The thing that gets me is that there is another guy at work that has been Ballroom Dancing for five years, and this guy knows this. So, why did he wait this long to ask me questions when he knows the other guy better and he knows that he has been taking dancing lessons too?

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My gut feeling is that he is definately interested in you. Time to show him your shines and melt him in his tracks!

So, how did I do? Did I handle this ok lol? He asked me a ton of questions. I tried to answer like I wasn't desperate or anything lol, because I'm not, but sometimes you can sound like that if you are not answering the right way. It was great too, because he asked me this stuff in front of everyone. He didn't care who was right by us (which was all the girls lol). He said he's not afraid of making a fool of himself, so I think that's why he had courage to just say whatever lol. Do you think he's interested, and how should I respond to him now? Should I keep doing what I'm doing or what lol?

Oh I so hope so lol! I can intrigue him with my Latin sway lol. Ok, that's what I like to call my move anyways lol!

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Don't dance with him at first. Intrique him with your moves from afar. He'll be watching from the corner of his eye. Maybe don't even dance with him the first day or so. Let him dance with others, then after a couple of days of anticipation let him feel the passion translate thru the palms of your hands and your frame into his. He'll treat you with respect and admiration.

Don't dance with him at first. Intrique him with your moves from afar. He'll be watching from the corner of his eye. Maybe don't even dance with him the first day or so. Let him dance with others, then after a couple of days of anticipation let him feel the passion translate thru the palms of your hands and your frame into his. He'll treat you with respect and admiration.

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That's a great idea! I could have him dance with one of the instructors while I go and dance with the other guys. You don't think he won't get mad about that though since he knows that he's my guest?

That's a great idea! I could have him dance with one of the instructors while I go and dance with the other guys. You don't think he won't get mad about that though since he knows that he's my guest?

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I guess I have some mixed feelings on this. My first response is make him wait and if he's interested he'll come back to dance with you. But, on the other hand if he feels somewhat insecure in his dancing abilities to yours, he'll appreciate you inviting him to dance with you. That's how I've felt. I didn't want to drag down someone with more skill, so I wouldn't ask them. But, if they'd ask me to dance I would. Just be supportive and give encouragement. Guys need that too.

My first response is make him wait and if he's interested he'll come back to dance with you.

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Well... my feeling is that people have this (on/off) switch when it comes to romance in their brains... (it probably has something to do with humans being both social and monogamous); and its important that you get this guy to consider you romantically from the start. Its very hard to overcome inertia in a relationship.

Most guys who would ask about dancing are probably interested in dancing, but they are also looking to meet people generally. One of those people he would like to meet is probably you; but you haven't made that transition yet into the "romantic" category yet (or else he would have just asked you out for a date.)

so... just "waiting" strikes me as a bad idea. You need to ensure that he knows that you want to be pursued.

he'll appreciate you inviting him to dance with you.

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I think you are always better off inviting him to "ask you" to dance. (That's true generally, but really important to get him thinking of you romanticly.) There's a lot of ways to do this... but if he's new to ballroom dancing, you can just inform him that "Its considered customary for the gentleman to ask ladies to dance; and you should -always- ask the girl you came with -several- times." (give him a squeeze on the arm or hand when you say that.)

and always take full advantage of open statements like "I really appreciate you dancing with me" (or whatever) with a "the appropriate way to thank a girl is (dinner at some nice restraunt)" (-particularily- if he is saving money for a car... if he is spending money on you instead, that immediately makes him value you more.)

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so... main point... waiting is bad, playing it "cool" is bad. What you want to do is let him know what you want him to do, and he needs to do it. Being hard to get is good; but you want to do it so he is obsessing about you, not getting bored. ("I really like a guy who isn't afraid to take time to get to know someone rather than just rushing into things; it makes it so much more special when it happens." ... say that while touching him...)