About and Explanation

I am a faded romantic Dominant from a time before Dominant became a cliché, with a love of all things beautiful and a taste for the darkly sensual and erotically decadent.

A lover of music, food and wine, literature, theatre, film and art.

A writer. Though not a good one. Yet vaguely famous. Novels, short stories, songs and poetry. The written word is my joy and my curse.

I am tall, silver-haired, slender, athletic, with piercing dark green/blue eyes and long, sensitive hands. I am neither handsome nor unattractive. I am a realistic dreamer, an idealistic pragmatist. I am a sexually dominant yet patient and sensual lover – whether it be physically or at a distance. I am teacher and priest in my own dark religion of Dominance and submission.

I adore intelligent, elegant, independent-minded, beautiful, sexually submissive women. Particularly those who have yet to release the submissive ache in their soul

I am not young. I am faded and fading still.

But if the music is playing, and the wine is good, and the stars are shining bright in a soft velvet night sky, and the light falls on me just right – then you might see the man who could, and can still, break hearts.

Well, if you have a good imagination anyway …

And this post and this post are important if you want to have a clue about what is going on …

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236 responses to “About and Explanation”

LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words

April 4, 2012 at 3:15 am

I think one might feel the energy of your words
and that could break more hearts…
you write very well for someone
who isn’t a writer…..
the energy isn’t fading you know it gets stronger as the sun drifts below the horizon
and stars twinkle in the twilight….

Thank you I have enjoyed wandering within your thoughts to night…
Take Care….
You Matter….
)0(
maryrose

Can you explain your ideas behind the submissive and dominant for me? I just stumbled across your blog yesterday and am enjoying the posts I have read so far very much. Though I am a bit perplexed by the S/D you keep referring to. Are all women submissives and all men dominants? Or are you referring to a particular type of woman you have been with, and you just happen to perceive yourself as dominant?

Hello Hannah. Ah, where do I start? I feel a huge responsibility in attempting to explain from a base point. I am sure there are others who could do it better. Specifically, no, men or women can be Dominant or submissive. It is in the nature of some people to be so. It is a broad church that has extremes. Speaking only for myself, I am naturally Dominant sexually and am attracted to women who are sexually submissive. But that doesn’t mean that they are submissive in all aspects of their life. Indeed I prefer they are not. How is that for a start?

No, it was a good start. I do see where you are coming from, I just find it an interesting concept and I do not know if I could define myself into one category. Also pleased to hear that you are not defining all women as submissive, sexually or in other respects, as I would certainly have something to say about that. 😉 Just had a quick look over LAD – the last few posts may have wet my eyes a little… if the love is still there and you still have the physical attraction to each other, can you not work it out? Maybe I need to read more to see why it wasn’t meant to be. Anyway, I’m side-tracking… looking forward to reading your links.

Laughing. I attract their passing interest perhaps. But even if I were of a predatory nature (which I am not) the majority live 5000 miles away and the remainder would find the reality less appealing than the fantasy.

It is, of course, always a possibility that a new acquaintance will prefer fantasy to reality. You must not completely disregard the other possibility, however. Many, myself included, vastly prefer the wisdom accumulated from experience, the strength shown by every scar and the honesty of acknowledged weakness to the most beautiful, but untrue, daydream.

First, thank you for your comment. And what a way to describe yourself, I fell in love a little, then realized something… You sir, are quite a subtly manipulative man- that is you’re a consummate seducer. You draw the reader into playing peekaboo with you (ie, refer to the avatar, a rear-view portrait), you toy with perceptions, incite curiosity and offer this “titillating” duality of a “dominant romantic.” You’ve certainly created a fascinating man, that makes you apt with with words unlike
what you’ve humbly professed.

That said, if a man would go around calling himself dominant, chances are he would be met with heinous invective (dominance, like many other words, has been hijacked and pillaged, and now has stigmas of degradation and other squalid traits attached to it). However, if you throw in the word “romantic” (the holly of hollies) it’s like cleaning up the word “dominant,” as if to say “so you think i will defile you, but fear not it will be very romantic too.”

I enjoyed a little foray into your blog, i’ll be coming back for an another saucy read

Laughing. This is a wonderful comment. Is Dominant such a pejorative word? As for seduction – it is a delicious game for all parties.is it not? And no woman who I ‘defiled’ ever succumbed against her will, or had the slightest cause for complaint. Indeed, the opposite.
But perhaps there is some truth in your perception…
It will be a pleasure to have you reading.

I’ve just read this post and I can’t help agreeing a little with freakynewchild. I have explored this part of my nature in the past and shut the door on it. I have a life partner who does not share a physical relationship with me in any shape or form but with whom I share my life and friendship. Habit and shared life’s woes bond us together. Exploring this comes with too many risks and to my detriment as I was experiencing them, too many harsh lessons. I am artistic, musical and like you, like good food and fine wine. I am strong, look straight ahead while walking along a path and am somewhat in control of my life. I will not use the term “submit”, preferring “surrender” but only to the man that would be strong enough to see that lying beneath and stop me in my path. I am yet to meet him. I yearn but in secret, in my own little world. It most likely will stay there. Many in this “lifestyle” annoy me. I am older and wiser now, and online, at any rate, call a spade a shovel. I have learned not to fall for the tricks of the men who advertise their wares with descriptive terminology such as “silver-haired”… “with piercing dark green/blue eyes” or who respond with “smiles”. These words are extremely tempting and seductively manipulative-they are designed to create a persona and have *just* the right effect that indeed may very well be utterly idealised baring no resemblance to who you really are. If this is just a fantasy, then you are hurting no-one or the women who faint at your prose. For those who long for the reality until their skin is crawling and they sob uncontrollably knowing it can never happen, this is pure, hurtful, hellish artifice. Yes, “he” was dominant with me until I discovered the reality: he was out of work, was a hen-pecked husband and the only way he could regain some control over his life was by dominating a poor, sexually inexperienced woman thousands of miles away with the most luscious on-line romance. Do you men know how profound it can be to have something recognised within you that you had never fully conceptualised, understood or knew existed for that matter, brought to the surface, nurtured and coaxed into full-blown realisation…have the release and promise dangled in front of you only to have it snatched away..? Are you aware of the responsibility? He too was a writer. That’s all this was/is-words..
Am I disrespectful? I don’t give a damn..respect is earned.

I write. This is the part of me I choose to write about. I will not censor myself because of the effect it might have on others. Each of us have a responsibility to ourselves. It is not my role or responsibility to consider the impact of my words. Otherwise no writer would write anything.
I write. The reader has the power to read or ignore.

But if your words reach through the veil of cyberspace and clasp a woman’s soul, clawing at the self-imposed armour that protects that secret part of her so much that she is at last vulnerable and exposed, loses all propriety, surrenders to the vortex of dark feelings sweeping over her and declares herself enraptured, I don’t doubt you’d be quite pleased with the impact of your words then….*s* You may deny it but you have quite a harem following and I don’t think it bothers you..

You are of course talking rubbish, and if you listened to yourself you would realise it.

Should that awful group One Direction sing and act in such a way that young girls and women who should know better become obsessed by them and become hysterical when one decides to leave?

Should the equally dire 50 Shades have introduced BDSM to women to whom it was a revelation and may have dramatically altered their perception of sex and relationships. (At the very least having thousands upon thousands talking to imaginary Christian Greys on Twitter?)

Should JK Rowling have included magic and flying in her books possibly encouraging young children to believe that they might be able to?

Should there be no books about serial killers in that it might encourage others?

Should there be no religious texts on the basis that some fanatics might go out and kill in the name of them?

Should Frozen have been allowed to capture the hearts of young girls to the extent that they cannot do without the frighteningly ubiquitous merchandise?

All art (and I consider myself an artist, albeit a poor one) has power. Yet you cannot censor it, or expect the artist to consider what action the viewer/reader/listener might take.
We live in an age where no one seems able to take responsibility, always wanting to blame someone else.

I like being read (what writer doesn’t) and I like having people who return to read more. I like the fact that it might inspire them, arouse them, thrill them – or annoy them. Is that so strange? Why do most people write, blog, act, sing, paint, compose etc etc? To be heard. To give themselves a voice. This is my voice. I will not take responsibility for it, nor censor it, nor abandon it, nor feel any guilt whatsoever about its impact. The reader decides. Because 99.9% of my readers are intelligent, sensitive and balanced. I will not cater for the 0.1% who seriously need to go out and get themselves a life.

I realise you would much rather someone who hangs, doe eyed on every word, praising and flattering you than someone who challenges you but the point is I doubt there are too many authors on their writer’s blogs who describe themselves as “tall, slender, athletic, with ‘piercing’ green/blue eyes” then proceed to describe their prowess as a lover. That crosses into other and significantly more intimate territory. You aren’t simply selling words on your site, you are selling yourself and more than your average author. It doesn’t merely sound like you’re just sharing your innermost thoughts as prose and poetry, it sounds like an extended personal ad. You know women and you are well aware of the effect you have. You deliberately and expertly create an impression of yourself that is unecessary if you were merely “writing”-Your prose, which is excellent, speaks for itself.
Yes, as an author you are not responsible for the effect your words have but this is a multi-layered, deep, emotional dynamic you peddle in and you’re not “just” an author, are you?

You’re not seducing as an author, you’re seducing as a man.

You will not hear from me again and your secure status as reigning Harem Master amongst your adoring fans will continue undisputed. It appears dealing with someone who challenges your work is a new experience for you despite your protestations that you like it when your words annoy. A reader can be part of the intelligent, balanced majority and still disagree with you.

At age 33 after years of enduring an unsatisfying sexless loveless marriage I divorced and discovered my true self courtesy of Sir… The quality of your writing is astounding it invokes the feelings that he gives me… I have been astounded by how submissive an otherwise strong and independent me can be…

Email to Sir

My fingers tremble as they skip across the keyboard
My heart races dopamine levels peak at the thought of the delicious pain and pleasure that awaits
Entwining
Amplifying sensation
Body and mind transfixed mesmerised
Perplexed by the excitment that comes from the physical discipline and verbal admonishment for my misdeeds
A sweet bitter cure for this vexing infirmity
Reaffirming desire those heady light filled beautiful spaces
Tantalising, alluring erotic chastisement
Oh how I welcome you to my physical life

Thank you Jenny (I have such a soft spot for a Jenny) for your elegant contribution to this page and your kind words. I am glad you have found happiness. I am certain that your Master is a fortunate man indeed.

sir, you have the talent of painting words on the page. they bleed with passion and emotion allowing the reader to live and breath with you. that is not something that comes naturally nor easily. pain often unfortunately breeds beauty. your words have power and while my influence is unsubstantial–i have added your site to my inspiration page so others can find comfort in knowing they are not alone. x

Hello, I would like to thank you for calling in on our site and liking my poem, it is very much appreciated. I would like to say from what I have read of your note book, I very much like your style of writing. It is sharp, concise, fresh and eloquent, you have a way of saying what needs to be said with a kind of understatement I admire, I will continue to read what you write with interest.

such joy to join the harem of those who adore you. she licks lips…i have many poems much like what you write that i do not have posted on my blog since they are currently in submission-status (no dominant-submissive pun intended). someday…until then, my tamer work remains on my site until i choose to submit it, also. until then, i shall enjoy yours…LOVE this “about” page.

ah yes…i recently read this quote: “Poetry gives the griever not release from grief but companionship in grief.” Donald Hall (from the Sue Boynton Poetry blog)
perhaps we were all damned before we began these endeavors and we now merely share the same exquisite hell.

Your blog is perfection to me. I started reading and could not stop, feeling more compelled with every verse I read. Your talent inspires me, and the way your words seduce my mind baffles me. You take out the submissive in me. You make me want to surrender. You make me want to know you better, know the darker side of you.

(this is not openly hitting on you, i am simply describing what such a talented writer as yourself can achieve)

Hi. I just stumbled upon this blog of yours. And I find it exquisite. Just read a couple of posts and can sense a tormented writer in yourself. And yes sir, that is a compliment. The writing is incendiary to say the least. Looking forward to read more of your writings.

Some of us come to be tied for the first time, later in life. Experience has taught us to look around and seek knowledge in every nook and cranny. As I have been learning about my submissive side, I stumbled upon your Notebook. I visit every few months to find peaceful, thought provoking and joyous pieces of your writing. I see a little bit of myself described in your words. You find Women beautiful and alluring as does my Master. It reminds me that I will be elegant to Him at any age and even if we part. Thank you for sharing your time and your thoughts.

As i was reading this morning, i stumbled onto your blog. i enjoy your writing Sir. You remind me so much of my Master. i am following your blog now and i look forward to reading it. You are indeed a very talented writer.

I believe you to be a man who is still very capable of breaking hearts, but elects not to do so. There’s an old saying, ‘Just because there is snow on the roof doesn’t mean there is not fire in the furnace.’ You, Sir, have fire.

It is also said that 90% of sex is in the mind. I would up that to 95%. Looks are overrated. Intelligence is sexy. Seduce my mind and you can have my body.

You are an amazing writer. The way you paint words on a blank canvas is utterly breathtaking. I never tire of reading what you give to us. And from the discription of yourself, I’m sure your breaking hearts all around. I’m very seldom wrong because I do have a wonderful imagination. Keep doing what your doing RD.

I’ve invited you to join my blog tour because I admire your work, please see post http://wp.me/p1UdZ2-6s for details, and there is no obligation to accept – I just wanted you to know that I adore your writing 🙂

Hello. Thank you. It is very kind of you and sweet and I am delighted to be asked. But, like awards and memes and the like, I don’t really get involved. I am a miserable recluse in many ways. Smiles. But thank you again.

Power to bring life or to extinguish it, to build or destroy – to paint and create and breathe and soar and bind and free – the written word is more than the ink bleeding over the page.

There is an undeniable beauty in fading…the slowing of the moments, the clarity of perception and the flavour of the soul ~ Fading blends our best with our worst creating a canvas with the power to weave a symphony that lingers long after the final notes have faded into memory.

I am finding your words and spirit lovely and strangely familiar in quiet echoes that I almost recall. Thank you for the gift of your time and your words.

Luck happened upon a tweet, that lead me to your tweets, that lead me to your blog. And now, after months of searching, I “accidentally” have found the phrase I have been looking for that gives me an answer I’ve needed. Thank you.

You are a wonderful, wonderful writer… Captivated my attention in a matter of seconds in the first post I read on this blog.. and I couldn’t stop till I read as much as i could… The only thing I can say is this: I so wish I’d written this… But that’s a compliment! Keep writing and I’ll be following!

Goodness it must have taken me five minutes to scroll down to the free space for my little comment on your about page which I guess is testament to a ‘good writer’ indeed, your words certainly caught my attention. A question of curiosity, how would you define yourself away from intimate interactions, a non Dominant? I am always curious about this, it I sense perhaps easier for a woman to be submissive only in this area yet slightly less so in the rest of her life, but for a man, perhaps not so to let go control of the reigns in other areas of his life? Once you taste the sweetest fruit, would you not want it sweet all the time? 🙂 x

Of all things, the definition of myself as sexually dominant is easiest. It has always been there, since my earliest memories. A desire to control sexually. Of course I had no idea of what it was, or what it was called. Yet I do know it stems from my adoring women. As strange as that may seem.
In the rest of my life I am, like most people, more complex. I have always been a leader, particularly in business, but socially I enjoy the freedom of not being in control. And when it comes to women, I like independent, strong women and have no desire to manage relationships. So the short answer is, I am sexually dominant. It has no bearing on relationships beyond that.

promise I am not promoting myself lol, but it’s about Anais Nin, the quote is:

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. – Anais Nin

Would only be email. Too many barriers to ever be in person. I’m sure you are far more interesting person than you give yourself credit for. The small snippets you’ve allowed us to see suggest volumes.

I’d like to remain on the email list, as well, please. I’m sorry you’ve been taken advantage of, Mr. RD. So you know, there isn’t anyone who could steal your words and offer the authenticity as you do.
Hopeful your efforts help fix the problem.
~Audrey

I have followed you for a while now, silently, feeling a little like I’ve been tiptoeing softly, casually pressing ‘like’ when really I adore your writing.. I don’t comment because your words, spoken and written, leave me a little lost for words. I’m not even going to try and articulate it here, not because of not wanting to, but because I’m not sure I can transform that feeling into words.

Your description of yourself is intoxicating, erotic. Whenever there is a link to read, I do. I don’t know how I cam upon your page, but I am very glad I did. You remind me of a much happier time in my life, when I had what you speak of. Thank you.

I’ve been following you on Twitter for some time now but somehow I’m just stumbling across your blog. (In fairness, I just re-launched my WP blog a few days ago, so I’ve been away for a while) I’m so happy to be able to read your longer pieces here. I love your tweets and always look forward them. Thank you for the smiles you bring.