Amish Gone Wild

BERGHOLZ, Ohio – The leader of a breakaway Amish group said an attack on fellow Amish in which a man’s beard was cut off was a religious issue stemming from long-standing resentment of his group’s treatment.

Sam Mullet, 66, said the goal was to send a message to Amish in Holmes County that they should be ashamed of themselves for the way they were treating Mullet and his community.

“We’d like to get up in the morning, be left alone, live like normal people,” Mullet said Monday. “They won’t leave us be.”

Mullet said he didn’t order the hair-cutting but didn’t stop two of his sons and another man from carrying it out last week on a 74-year-old man in his home in rural eastern Ohio.

“I didn’t order anything like that,” he said, and added: “I didn’t tell them not to, I’m still not going to tell them not to.”

Is The Mayor to believe the mastermind behind this heinous crime, the man who cut off the beard of a fellow Amish, is named Mullet? That’s like having a dentist named Chew, or the guy that cuts your hair to be named Barber. Or, having a urologist with the name of Penis.

The Mayor could go on and on, but that Penis joke was the perfect ending for a rather amazing post.

Man, I was in Tijuana (actually staying at a motel north of the border in San Ysidro, but working back and forth across the border), and it was friggin’ knee-slappin’.

These Amish clans would come down to TJ to get el cheapo medical/dental/whatever work done. One afternoon I was hanging out by the pool. I saw a bunch of old Amish folk get in the shuttle headed to TJ. It was not four minutes later that all of those black/gray dressed youngsters had flung off the shackles. The chicks were in bikinis, the little boys even took off their hats & boots.

It was a sight to behold. I just laughed my ass off. And, judging by the form of the young ladies…farm life ain’t so hard on the frame.