The Chicago Cubs are going to win The World Series

I used to go to a lot of Cubs games when I was living in Chicago, but not because I was a huge baseball fan. They play their games at Wrigley Field, which any local can tell you is the biggest bar in the city – enough space for 41,000 drunks fans. We’d just cut out of work early and walk over to the park, drink a few dozen beers, and stumble home. And then we may or may not have repeated the next day.

I firmly believe they are going to win the championship this year. That’s usually a bold statement in any sport, but is even more so with the Cubs. For those of you unfamiliar with their history, they haven’t been to the World Series since 1945. That’s older than many professional sport teams. And they haven’t won a World Series since 1908. THAT’S older than Betty White. Since 1945, they’ve only made the playoffs five times. They truly are the definition of a losing franchise.

So why am I so sure they’re going to win?

Last year, we had to say goodbye to our loyal, lovable Gumbo.

We mourned him for a while, but also enjoyed our new-found freedom.

Let’s face it, when compared to cats – dogs are pretty high-maintenance. If you put a bowl of food in front of them, they’ll eat the whole thing. And once that food is processed, you have to take them outside since they won’t go in a convenient little box. Heck, cats even bathe themselves.

All of those reasons are why, when asked a couple months ago whether we’d get another dog, I said that it would be when the Cubs win the World Series.

Then this happened…

That’s Lulu and she’s a French Bulldog puppy.

Not only did we break our own rule of never getting another dog, we broke all the general rules of getting a puppy:

– We got her on a whim while on vacation in New york

– We bought her at a puppy store, not a reputable breeder

– We did do the right thing and had a “cooling-off” period where we talked it over. Of course, that all went to hell because we named her in that time.

We’ve had her a little over a week and are completely in love with her.

She’s such a sweet girl, is very mellow, and is completely lazy. Just like me. She also snores like a gorilla and has nasty farts. Also just like me my wife.

So get over to Vegas and lay down some money on the Cubs. Just be careful of Satan slinging snowballs at you on the way.