Day: September 15, 2008

The world is pretty big. There are a lot of countries, with millions and millions of square miles of people and land and ocean. The universe is even bigger than that. I’ve never been but from the photos I’ve seen it’s massive. Pathways of stars, belts of black holes and galaxies and planets. It’s just endless, and somewhere up there, God knows your boyfriend broke up with you.

Maybe He doesn’t. I mean, maybe He’s up there and He’s working on really big stuff. He’s healing famines and trying to bring peace to war torn lands. The greatness of His issues makes your little issues look ordinary and simple and maybe even boring.

But every now and then I come across a verse that shakes my deep belief that I am beneath God’s radar. One that I love is Psalm 56:8. Here, in what hopefully makes me look pretty smart, is the King James Version:

But maybe you’re not old school, so here’s what the New Living Translation says:

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”

I think that’s beautiful. Can you imagine that? Can you picture God doing that? Taking His giant hands and tenderly picking up every single one of your tears? Knowing why they came, understanding what they mean, placing them in His bottle, so that He can comfort you.

I feel like I’m at the beginning of a great adventure, maybe the greatest adventure of my life. The outcome, even though I’ve only just begun, and taken but a few steps on the path to its completion, seems certain. It’s the steps that are not. How long is the road? I don’t know. But the fact that I’m walking on it at all is a miracle.

I bought a CD on September 11th, 2001. I remember hearing about the attack on the World Trade Center early that morning, and hardly being able to believe it. How could something like that happen? And at the time, I remember listening to the Howard Stern radio show on the way into my office, and it made sense–he was in New York, and would be able to give it a New Yorker’s perspective.

All day long that day, my boss let us listen to the radio, and the things that were happening seemed almost beyond belief. People were jumping from windows to avoid the fires. Buildings were falling, and planes were crashing all over the place, it seemed.

We listened to the news all day. A woman in my office who was a believer, was permitted to have a prayer time in her office, and anyone who wanted to could join. I thought it was awesome that my boss allowed this, considering how politcally and “religiously” sensitive it seemed like you had to be at the time. I had become a believer less than a year before, and was already struggling in my walk. That was a great opportunity to reaffirm my new faith, and to pray. It was in Lucy’s office, behind closed doors, with no one but a couple other believers.

But I didn’t go. I chickened out.

Instead, I listened to the news, and I tried to make sense of what was happening in the country. Obviously, it wasn’t exactly a rousing success.

That night, I had to go to my part time job–I was a projectionist at an 18 plex movie theater inside Parkway Plaza. I didn’t really know what to expect. On the way in, I stopped at a Target, and got a couple snacks and a CD–Satellite, by P.O.D. (Payable on Death–a San Diego Metal, Rap, punk, reggae band, that would finally hit it big with that record).

I entered the mall through the food court, and found all the businesses closed, and the theater closed as well. No one knew of any further attacks, but law enforcement had been closing places where large groups of people would normally gather all across the county, because nobody knew anything, and it seemed better to be safe and alive, than sorry and dead.

So I went to Claim Jumper with a coworker, and everyone was talking about what would happen to the country, to gas prices, to the military. It was obvious someone would be getting a return call from the United States Armed Forces in very short order.

After that, I went back to my apartment and listened to the CD I’d purchased earlier that afternoon. It was just in March of the previous year that I’d first began to seek Christ, and had recognized Him as Lord. The struggles began immediately, and on September 11th, doubt joined the fight as well.

But that CD, strange as it sounds, got me to turn to God about it, and to begin to get some of the answers I sought. It talked about appreciating God. It talked about loss, and love, and hope. It was awesome. I’d know that P.O.D. was a Christian band (or at least did not not seem to hide their hearts for God), but I had never really listened to them before, other than the one or two songs on the radio.

That CD, like Born in the USA had done when I was a teenager, helped me through a pretty difficult time, and also helped me to seek out other believers to fellowship with.

Here’s a couple Youtube videos. If you have a chance, pick up the CD. It’s worth it.

1. Alive. Just listen to the lyrics (and try to ignore the video–very cheesy).

2. The Messenjah. Someone thought it was a good idea to crib images from The Passion of the Christ. Still, the song is good: