I gave up attending Indian weddings seven years ago. The trigger was a
particularly onerous betrothal where I was asked, “So why aren’t you married
yet?” 13 times in the space of a single morning (I counted). But with an
extended family the size of the Parachute Regiment, I had been tiring of
weddings anyway.

As a child, if I wasn’t at one, I was being dragged along by my mother as she
got ready for one or being forced to watch a video, reliving the torture in
real time. And with my married relatives themselves having children who were