According to an article in The Independent, certain procedures such as hip replacements, tonsillectomies, and cataract surguries are being severely curtailed. We discussed this a couple of months ago. Most of you from UK described yourself as very satisfied with your NHS. Has anything changed over there?

I thought that wombats was a state of mind, not a marsupial. If I understand you, having a pouch to carry your young is the defining ingredient. This is complete bullshit. I have a pouch, but I have never carried nothing in it. Please redefine marsupial.

In the late 60's I shared an apartment with an avowed wombat. All she did at night was have sex with her accordian while singing the latest Janis Joplin hits. Drove me crazy because I was into the Kingston Trio at the time.

Wait a minute. You can still have sex with little hummingbirds today! I mean if your like really, really small. Not that this includes me mind you or that I have ever tried. I mean, those fuckers move pretty damn quick. Well, at least that is what I hear. I'm just saying.

I stand by my story. Unless you can hover for at least 10 seconds, you just as well be celibate.

I consider Florida the lap-dancing capital of the world. When visiting a friend for a three day golf outing, he noticed I had near terminal chingas (shakes) on the putting green the first day. Afterwards, over a couple of gin and tonics, he suggested a cure that he f..king guaranteed would work to calm my nerves.

Just a couple of miles from the course we stopped at a nondescript, roadside pavillion with a parking lot full of big-wheeled pickups and a few luxury sedans. With little ceremony we stepped into the joint through a heavy curtain, and to my surprise, we were immediately surrounded by a bevy of totally nude nymphet sparrows of different colors and creeds; all claiming to have the cure for my nervous disorder. One, who was pigmented considerably darker than myself and who also out-weighed me by a stone or so, was so insistent that I take her up on her cure that I finally slipped her a twenty, just to get rid of her.

For some reason she got pissed, possibly because she thought me a racist for not choosing her over a blond that was more my type. Anyway, she threw the twenty back at me and told me to stuff it where the sun don't shine. That was easy, her not having any clothes on. The next thing you know, the bouncer was in my face and all hell broke loose. My old Navy buddy, Nick the Greek, a man of some connections in the underworld, didn't take shit from nobody. Bedlam! All I could see was assholes and elbows flying through the air with a few boobs also in the mix.

Somehow, we got the hell out of there somewhat intact. Next day, I made everything inside 8 feet. My buddy was right. He fixed my chingas....True story!

I know that most men, because of their concupiscible nature, are attracted to forbidden fruits. Anyone who has stumbled into a strip joint with his buddies knows what I am talking about. That being said, would you automatically classify the hard-working gal who is grinding away on your loins a floozy, not fit to be introduced to your Mom and Dad as your future wife?

It is a fact that the US taxpayer cannot absorb most of the costs of protecting NATO countries, who spend virtually nothing on their own defense, and also provide UHC for its own citizens. Just last week, retiring Sec. of Defense Robert Gates pointed out that NATO cannot survive if America has to carry a disproportionate amount of the load.

Although most Americans are coming to the realization that we can't intercede in nation building for raghead countries who seem destined to live in the middle-ages, we also understand that is where the ideology exists that wants us all dead.

Tough decisions have to be made in the Middle-East. Should NATO be interceding in Libya? The US again is shouldering most of the costs, which amounts to billions of dollars that we have to put on our national credit card because we don't have the money in the bank.

You seem to be accident prone. I suggest that you move closer to a hospital, or even into one, if possible. I certainly wouldn't live 60 miles from nearest hospital, if I were you.

Also, when you had your kidney stones removed by surgery, how did the doctor scrape your lung and cause it to collapse? The guy ought to have his license revoked, or at least wear glasses when he operates. Those organs are usually difficult to mistake. You should have sued the son-of-a-bitch for malpractice.

Even though these are compelling examples of what is wrong with healthcare in rural America, doesn't Alaska give each resident a $2000 pop just for living there? Couldn't this be used to buy health insurance?

He who speaketh with silver spoon in mouth also has difficulty being understood.

He who speaketh with 12 doctrates is too clever for ME.

On the other hand, my wife married well beyond her own academic qualifications and feels intimidated when I wear my academic robes and feather headress when we go to sporting events and social gatherings.

Sounds like your reality needs to be reframed. Myself, I refuse to dwell on anything that I have no means of changing. I can't stamp out famine in Africa or floods in Montana. I can only try to make myself a better person and take care of myself and family. If I have extra time and energy, I get away by playing golf.

So wait... the world is an ever-deepening Tim Burton-meets-TV sitcoms-style stage, where everything counts, but nothing does, where I may find true happiness in the form of emptiness, where everything is an odourless TV ad, but reeks of desperation and based on the misery and selfishness of others plus golf?

Reality sucks ass.

Inhopeless,

Please don't include golf in your laundry list of depressing world affairs. It is my only escape from this world's evil. I strongly urge you to take up this wonderful sport if you wish to keep your sanity.

Although it is a very difficult sport to achieve some degree of competence, it is well worth the effort. I have been playing since I was 12 years old. It offers at least 4 hours escape from family, job and other responsibilities. It also offers an opportunity to have very special time with your friends and business associates.

On the other hand, if you really want to dwell on negatives and become depressed, I suggest you read Jean Paul Sartre's Being and Nothingness. It took years for me to recover after reading this piece of philosophic crap.