Craziest Stories On The Trading Floor

With open outcry dying and not looking to get better any time soon I thought we could try to remember and share some stories about the pits. Anything will do jokes, big trades, big winners, huge losses, anything that you can remember that happened on the floor while you worked there or while you were just on a simple tour of the trading floor. While I have never worked on the floor I do know many traders that have and I have heard everything from blow jobs behind the desk to guys punching guys out of the pit. Lets all share these stories and pay a little tribute to the trading floors!

Back in the 80's I had repeated problems getting screwed on my market orders, always paying 3-4 cents above the current bid/ask. I was on a tour of the floor a month later and happened to pass by the post where my orders were getting raped. I heckled that the SOB taking Market orders on Xerox was a crooked bastard and needed to be shackled. The prick came out and got it my face. I had the fat bastard in a headlock when security broke it up and quickly escorted me out. The wife was embarassed, but the grand kids thought I was John Wayne.

I was in the natgas pit, we had a guy that worked for us that was an artist as well, he could sculpt anything. One day he took some order tickets, glue, string and a rubber band and made what looked exactly like the back half of a gerbal, feet tail and all. We put some tape on it and stuck it to the back of a local's, (NECK), trading jacket, right where his ass was. It looked like he had a gerbal stuck in his ass!! Everyone was crying tears they were laughing so hard!!! He was looking around and chuckling too, trying to figure out what everyone was laughing at. He sat down on the top ring of the pit and we all started making squealing noises, then he started reaching around on his back, looking for a sign, which made us laugh even harder! We finally told him.

We weren't through yet. We called a clerk from heating oil over (other side of the exchange floor) and put it on his ass. On his way back, you could audibly hear where he was on the floor by the traveling laughter; options, crude, cracks and finally products.

I am laughing at the memory as I type this, likely one of the funniest things I saw down there. I could write a book just on the things we did for fun down there, always a good time.