Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #151
October 5th, 1998
The Opening Word:
This will be a new regular feature of the Recap: one which I meant to begin
in last week's landmark 150th edition ... but forgot. Anyway, here is where
I will put down a few BRIEF thoughts to preface the Recap each week.
Thoughts relating to my mood, health, TV reception, computer problems,
weather, or anything else that may have some kind of impact on my state of
mind any given week.
This week sees wrestling fans observing the one year anniversary of the
death of Brian Pillman. Man, I can't believe it's been a year already. I
can honestly say I still miss him every bit as much as I did a year ago.
My viewing of this week's Monday Night Wars would be affected by the
Minnesota Vikings appearing on Monday Night Football against the Green Bay
Packers. Both teams had a 4-0 record going in, and any Minnesota or Green
Bay game on Monday night is usually a good one. Add into that the fact that
all we Minnesotans hate those cheese-headed Wisconsinites, and this is
pretty much going to be the biggest NFL game of the first half of the
season.
What, you think wrestling is the only thing I watch on TV?
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WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours.
Location: Columbia, South Carolina.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.
- "Hollywood" Hogan/Bret Hart/Sting clips open the show. The Nitro Girls
dance in the ring. This is then followed by two separate flashback
videos, featuring Roddy Piper, Hart, Hogan and Sting. Then there's a
commercial for the new WCW credit cards. After that comes the usual
opening. Were RAW on I'd have long since changed the channel.
- LIZMARK, JR. vs. SATURN
Saturn with the Death Valley Driver.
- Halloween Havoc promo #1.
- KAZ HAYASHI (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. ERNEST MILLER
Miller calls Hayashi "Jackie Chan", which the only thing interesting
about this match. Miller with the pin after a kick. Sonny Onoo then
sucks up to Miller, walking with him to the back. Why not give Miller a
manager? He'll need all the help he can get to beat Jackie Chan (see
"Comments" below).
- Halloween Havoc promo #2.
- JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. JERRY FLYNN
Juvi gets the win. Nice to see WCW won't job every Cruiserweight guy
tonight. Disco Inferno sits in for color commentary, replacing Mike
Tenay, who's called away for a phone call.
- Halloween Havoc promo #3.
- A pretaped segment shows Mike Tenay getting the opinions of the fans
outside the arena. I thought WCW dropped this once they realized how
lame it was?
- Bobby Heenan comes out early to replace Tenay.
- Halloween Havoc promo #4.
- WRATH vs. VILLANO V
Next.
- Halloween Havoc promo #5.
- More from Tenay and the fans.
- A black, stretch Hummer limo pulls up bearing the Wolfpac. Sting, Kevin
Nash, Lex Luger and Konan (carrying a broom?) start prowling the back
hallways of the arena. They eventually find what they are looking for:
the NWO--represented by Scott Norton, Stevie Ray, Scott Steiner, Brian
Adams, Buff Bagwell and the Giant. A massive brawl ensues, which the
police eventually break up (somewhat). The action spills out to the
hall. Sting keeps searching and eventually finds Bret hart, and the two
of them go at it.
Despite WCW's best intentions, though, they run out of steam and cut to
commercial just as RAW is starting. Between that and the Vikings I would
see very little of Nitro until watching the tape to write this.
HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko.
- The Wolfpac has found the NWO's limo. Sting hops aboard a forklift and
tops it over! The rest then pond on it with sledgehammers, kick it, etc.
Sting even slashes the tires with a nice. Larry Zbyszko gets off a good
one by saying something to the affect of "at least they didn't key it!",
which is a not-too-subtle jab at the act which sent Scott Hall to jail
again over the weekend. Why the police standing right there watching
this didn't arrest the Wolfpac is beyond me.
- DAMIEN vs. HECTOR GARZA
The match barely gets underway when Eddie Guerrero comes out. Eddie
talks to the two luchadores, pointing out how Eric Bischoff keeps
screwing them all over; how they all have to share rental cars and
hotel rooms; how they won't go anywhere unless they're tight with Hogan.
Eddie suggests they all unite and form the "LWO": Latino World Order. He
even has t-shirts, with the LWO logo in green, red and white (the colors
of Mexico).
I just don't have it in me this week to go off on how stupid and
pointless this all is. I've said it before and I'll say it again: WCW is
all about t-shirts.
- Mike Tenay (remember him?) has tracked down the Wolfpac. Seems they're
going to try and find Scott Hall, who is most assuredly at one of
Columbia's hundred or so bars or night clubs. Nash knows Hall well
enough, though, to be able to narrow it down to five or so.
- Clip showing Hart trying to gain Sting's trust a few months back ...
which helps point out how stupid Hart's turn was. Hogan could have come
out with a baseball bat then and saved everyone two months worth of
time.
- KIDMAN vs. PSYCHOSIS
Great match, Kidman wins. You know how I feel about these matches. I
just can't enjoy them too much given the quality of the rest of the
show.
- The Warrior appears in a pre-taped video. During the first match my
brother pointed out that it didn't look like there was a trap door in
the ring, meaning the Warrior wouldn't be on. I replied that maybe he
would, but just not in the ring. Turns out we were both almost right.
His comments are the usual gobbledeygook.
- We then get a Scott Steiner interview. Shoot me now.
- Mike Tenay checks in with a mobile reports. He's following the Wolfpac
as they comb the bars for Scott Hall.
- Steiner and his "constant companion" Buff Bagwell come out to repeat
what was said in the interview just moments earlier. Out comes Rick
Steiner, who has a surprise for Bagwell. Out comes Buff's mother, Judy
Bagwell! Bagwell's mom chews him out for being such a jerk. Buff
counters that it's been his joining the NWO which puts the food in her
and his Dad's table. Judy enters the ring, reminds him that she used to
smack him as a child when he got out of line, and slaps him across the
cheek! Scott Steiner steps in, saying she isn't his mother, but Rick is
there to take him down. Mrs. Bagwell then grabs Buff by the ear and
drags him to the back. Okay, this I got a good laugh out of.
- RICK STEINER vs. BRAIN ADAMS
During the commercial Scott and Brian Adams worked Rick over. It wasn't
enough, though, as Rick battles back and beats Adams, pinning him after
a Bulldog from the top. This wasn't a very good match, but the
preceding bit put me in a good enough mood to enjoy it for what it was.
HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- The Wolfpac have hit their first bar, but the place is practically
deserted and there's no sign of Hall.
- "Hollywood" Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out for their usual love-fest.
Somebody buy these two men a clue.
- Four Horsemen video.
- DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. KANYON (w/ Raven)
This is Page's first real competition in weeks, but it still doesn't
make for much of a match. Remember when DDP didn't seem to have as big
an ego, and actually worked hard in all his matches? Headlining all the
PPV's this summer seems to have boosted his ego (and killed his
workrate). This one is a mess, with Raven and Lodi (carrying a "Raven,
take Lodi back!" sign) eventually interfering to give DDP the DQ win.
Goldberg comes out to make the save and DDP does an overly contrived,
yet obligatory "I-back-into-you-and-we-stare-at-each-other!" bit.
- Back to the Wolfpac, who have hit their second bar. Still no sign of
Hall. I admit that for the sake of realism they couldn't just find him
on the first try, but that doesn't keep these bits from being a bit
dull. Maybe they should have worked over Stevie Ray and had him tell
them which bar he'd be at.
- THE DISCIPLE vs. LENNY LANE
Pitiful. The Disciple no-sells everything. After his Stone Cold Stunner
and the pin, he tells "Hollywood" Hogan that he'll no longer be carrying
his bags, and that he's his own man. (So why is he still the
"Disciple"? By definition that implies he's a follower.)
Hogan and Bischoff pop up just after the Disciple departs through the
curtain. They follow, but he seems to have disappeared. That doesn't
stop them from making an almost beeline to a certain dressing room. Of
course he isn't there, though Bischoff declares he saw him enter. (How?
We saw everything he and Hogan did, and not once was the Disciple within
their line of sight after he went through the curtain!) Hogan looks at
himself in a big old mirror and bemoans the headgames the Warrior is
playing on him. On cue the mirror fades and we see the "reflection" of
the Warrior. Of course he isn't behind Hogan--he's on the other side of
the mirror, courtesy the two-way mirror trick we've all seen magicians
do to impress small, simple-minded children. Hogan sees the Warrior and
goes nuts, cackling at the mirror like he's lost his mind. Incredibly
enough, Bischoff asks Hogan what's wrong. See ... HE CAN'T SEE THE
WARRIOR! ONLY HOGAN (and the announcers, the fans in the arena, and the
millions watching at home) CAN SEE THE SPECTRAL IMAGE OF THE WARRIOR
WITHIN THE MIRROR!
BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, they could have at least had the image fade away, as Bischoff
is looking in the wrong direction, so that he doesn't see it and thinks
Hogan is cracking up ...
BULLSHIT! WHY AM I MAKING EXCUSES FOR THEM? THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO F***ING
STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The Wolfpac has finally tracked down the bar Hall is in. Nash jumps him,
they fight for ten seconds, then he drags him into the bathroom and
shuts the door behind him. After sharing a laugh at all out expenses,
Nash opens the door so we can all see Hall, who is "passed out" with his
head in the toilet. Oh yeah, that's funny. Even in a barroom fight Nash
can't fight for more than a minute, the lazy bastard. And I actually
thought the idea of a match in a bar was cool. I hope this wasn't it.
- Bischoff comes back out to the ring. After blowing of the Hogan/Warrior
situation he starts talking about Flair. He tells the crowd Flair isn't
there, which means he is. Arn Anderson then comes out, telling Bischoff
he's in charge of playing "head games" for the Horsemen. Arn says Flair
is in the building and that he's going to bring him out. Out comes Flair
... REID Flair, ten year old son of Ric. Reid is wearing an amateur
wrestling outfit, and around his neck is one of the medals he's one
(this one, I assume, being the one he won the night Flair skipped Nitro,
which is what started this whole mess). Reid hits the ring and says to
Bischoff "whoooo! MEAN GENE!"
Let me just interrupt here to say that when I first heard the rumor over
the weekend that this was going to happen, I thought it might actually
be cool to see. Oh, how wrong I was.
Reid calls Bischoff "light work". He then does some amateur wrestling
moves, which look pretty silly (though I'm sure they're supposed to be
impressive). Bischoff eventually turns his back on the kid, at which
point he gets taken down by the tyke. A second takedown follows.
Bischoff goes after the kid, but Arn steps in. I'll mention here that
one of Flair's other sons was watching at ringside, though since he
didn't do anything it doesn't really matter.
After the commercial Bischoff is livid, and with the help of Elizabeth
is trying to get Flair on the phone at his home. He instead gets Flair's
wife, and she apparently give him a tongue lashing. Bischoff calls for
the real Flair to come out ..,. so Flair does. Before anything can
happen, though, the ring is surrounded by the NWO. Just as quickly the
rest of the Four Horsemen run in. A Mexican Standoff achieved, the NWO
retreat. The segment ends with Flair and his son going "whoo!" and doing
the strut.
- STING vs. BRET "HITMAN" HART
This is the main event, hyped heavily all night, for the U.S. Title.
No match.
Hart only get halfway to the ring before turning around and heading to
the back. Sting follows. There they have a pretty good brawl. They slam
each other into walls and doors. Hart suplexes Sting through a table,
then plasters him with a garbage can. He wraps Sting's ankle in a chair
and gives it a whack. Sting retaliates by slamming an equipment cart
into Hart. They fight into an office space occupied by WCW staff (who
are all sent screaming). Sting drags Hart crotch-first into a door. They
bash each other with poles. Hart climbs on a golf cart and tries to run
Sting over (but can't get it started). Things wind down with Sting
slapping on the Scorpion Deathlock. Hart calls him a "cheater!", then
calls out for Hogan to help him. Sting releases the hold to get another
garbage can, but Hart pretty much manages to escape. Security Chief Doug
Dellinger finally shows up, but the fight is already over. All he can do
is get a chair for Sting, who is almost out on his feet.
Now I liked this, and thought it a worthy substitute for an actual
match. The live crowd, on the other hand, was sorely pissed that they'd
been robbed of the main event, and let forth with a huge "boo!" as the
show faded off the air.
- This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
There were clearly some things I liked about Nitro this week. Unfortunately
they were all overshadowed by the general miserable nature of the first two
hours, not to mention the continually horrible Hogan/Warrior angle. It's
ironic that WCW, for me, only becomes watchable the more they emulate the
WWF. It's too bad that WCW hasn't figured out (again, for me and my tastes)
that what talent they use is important. Seeing a backstage brawl is nice,
but following that up with a match between two luchadores who haven't even
been on lately is far more likely to cause me to change the channel more
than anything else. If I flip to Nitro and see a guy flipping over a car
with a forklift, I'm gonna watch. But if I flip there and all I see is
Lenny Lane in an armbar .. *click!* next channel. Alex Wright ... *click!*
Hogan, Warrior, Ernest Miller, Barry Darsow, Jim Neidhart, Ciclope ...
*click!-click!-click!-click!-click!* It's just annoying the way WCW has
like 100 guys on the roster and they continually cycle through them, giving
them at most two weeks exposure on TV. That, and the continued focus on the
bigger stars who still do very little with their time each week. Why should
I be a fan of someone like Marty Jannetty, or the British Bulldog, when now
I'd have to track down my local syndicated airing of WCW Worldwide just to
see them? That leaves the "stars", who I already noted don't do very much,
a few lackluster jobbers who are being shoved down my throat (Wrath, Stevie
Ray and Ernest Miller), and an ever evolving Cruiserweight Division, which
features Kidman in a great match one week, only to get squashed by Raven or
Stevie Ray the next. It's the same complaint I've made before: I'm stuck
watching three hours just to see the ten minutes or so I do like.
I may as well address this whole Jackie Chan rumor now. In case you haven't
heard, Jackie is rumored to have signed to face Ernest Miller in a match at
either World War 3 in November or Starrcade in December. The rumor has hit
all the major wrestling news sites, and WCW has even mentioned it on their
hotline. A Japanese wrestling magazine, newspaper or TV show is invariably
attributed as the source, and has reportedly been "confirmed" by a brief
mention in "The Sporting News". Now, I have no idea if this is actually
going to come about, but if it does I can say I'm simultaneously intrigued
and horrified by the idea. I'm a big Jackie Chan fan (I own more than a
dozen of his movies, many of which are shaky bootleg copies from original
subtitled versions). I have most of his recent movies released here in
America. So I decided to do a little legwork and see if I could find any
merit to this rumor.
The short answer to that is "no". Jackie Chan's own official website
(www.jackie-chan.com) makes no mention of WCW or wrestling. It does mention
TNT, though, in hyping their "Chan-A-Thon" of movies, which debuts "Rumble
in the Bronx" on broadcast TV, as well as a half dozen of his older movies.
Chan's most recent movie, "Rush Hour", is made by New Line Cinema, which is
part of the vast Time/Warner empire (as are WCW and TNT). "Rush Hour" has
been a monster hit, earning more than $83 million in three weeks, and will
easily hit $100 by the end of the month. It has already earned more than
Jackie's last FIVE movies released in America combined! He is, as far as I
know, currently back at home in Hong Kong for the premiere of the movie
there, which takes place in the near future. Jackie also wrote an
autobiography titled "I Am Jackie Chan", which was recently published, and
he spent much of September on a book signing tour hyping it (as well as
appearing on the talk show circuit to hype the movie). Jackie currently has
two different movies slated to begin filming soon. One is another American
feature to be produced by the same people who made "Rush Hour". Another is
an action/comedy/romance titled "Who Are You?", production for which begins
in December (Jackie is currently planning a massive talent search for the
actress who will play the female lead). All of this would seem to indicate
that Jackie has an extremely busy schedule through to the end of the year,
and would have little or no time to appear at a WCW PPV, much less undergo
the training required for such a match. (Fans of Jackie know well that he
is something of a perfectionist, and it's a fair assumption that he would
want to spend a lot of time choreographing the match before it would ever
take place.)
However, none of this actually precludes the possibility of Jackie
wrestling, or--and this seems more likely--putting in an appearance a la
Mike Tyson where he is an "invited guest", and winds up getting into a
brief confrontation with Miller. I see this latter happening much more than
the former, which is good, since I'm not wild about the idea of a
full-blown match between he and Ernest Miller. Checking the many Jackie
Chan websites out there I could only find two which even mentioned the
wrestling rumor, and on both they exclaimed shock and horror over the idea.
As one of these sites put it, "Ernest Miller is a bottom-of-the barrel
wrestler who up until recently lost all of his matches." Most of Jackie's
fans also know that he is a great stuntman, but only an okay martial
artist, requiring massive amounts of choreography (not to mention repeated
takes) to get things "just right" for his movies. (Jackie's best display of
his actual martial arts skill may have come in his movie "Drunken Master
II", in which a stronger emphasis was placed on the fighting, as opposed to
the usual out-of-this-world stunts Jackie is most famous for.) Of course
Ernest Miller doesn't seem to be that great a martial artist either,
despite his claims of being a "3 Time World Karate Champion", so this frame
of discussion is pretty much moot. What's more important is that Miller is
obviously a terrible wrestler, with Chan being an unknown quantity in that
regard. I think the bottom line is that if whatever it is that may happen
is quick, it may be worth a laugh or two. Otherwise this has the potential
to be pretty bad. Jackie's a pro, though, and should make the best of any
situation he'd be in. In any case, I can't actually say as if whatever they
have planned would actually make me buy the PPV. Hell, I haven't even gone
out to see "Rush Hour" yet.
I'd write more, but this scratchy throat I have is moving over to my right
ear. I mentioned last week (or the week before) that when I get a cold, it
hangs around until spring. Well, the cold I had recently is still here.
I'm gonna try and get through the rest of this as quick as I can.
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WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Taped 9/29.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: East Lansing, Michigan.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- Highlights of last week preface the opening. Then it's straight into ...
- X-PAC (w/ Chyna) vs. D-LO BROWN (w/ Mark Henry)
Another in a series of good-but-not-great matches from these two. D-Lo
dominates, but X-Pac rallies back, eventually doing the Bronco Bounce in
the corner to the delight of the crowd. The crowd also tells D-Lo he
"sucks!", which was a big step in the Rock becoming the star he is
today. Could D-Lo be far behind? Chyna, during the match, is served
another document by some guy who hops the rail. Like last week she tears
it up as Mark Henry looks on. From there Henry goes on to trip X-Pac as
he's bouncing off the ropes. X-Pac retaliates with a dive over the
ropes, but winds up in the arms of Henry, who slams him bodily against
the ringpost. Tossed back into the ring he's dead meat for D-Lo's Low
Down (or is it Sky High? I can't keep the two moves straight. Whichever
one the Frog Splash is). D-Lo regains the European Title, which is a
good thing since he has those new "European Champion" tights.
- "Live" via satellite we see Vince McMahon in his hospital bed. This
picks up where they left off on Sunday Night Heat, at which time they
showed McMahon back in the hospital, saying he'd been called back there
after being initially released last Tuesday. McMahon is his usual self,
chewing out the nurse for bringing him grape juice instead of apple
juice. And just so we have the notion in mind, Jim Ross tells us Steve
Austin is in the arena and will be out later to tell "his side of the
story" regarding losing the title. I thought that's what he did the
night before on Heat? (Where in addition to that he took an ax to the
satellite hook-up to McMahon, as well as announcing that he won't DQ or
count out either the Undertaker or Kane in the match at the next PPV.
He'll be the special referee, you know. Austin also got into a staredown
with the Rock at the very end of the show. Enough back story for ya?
A clip of the Oddities shows them playing touch football earlier in the
day. After the break the Head Bangers come out and challenge the Insane
Clown Posse to a match. They and the Oddities come out, but the Bangers
tell the Oddities to take a hike.
- HEAD BANGERS vs. INSANE CLOWN POSSE
Total obliteration. Being in the possession of no combat skills
whatsoever, the Clown get absolutely murdered by the Head Bangers.
Included are some nicely brutal chair shots to their painted noggins.
The crowd reacted moderately well to this too, perhaps indicating that
some of the novelty of the Oddities have worn off (or the ICP, anyway).
As a side note, Lawler mentions that the ICP are actually banned from
performing musically in this particular venue. Lawler also manages to
squeeze in a very quick mention of Jim Carrey's name.
They recap what happened on Heat, making my above effort a bit
premature.
- A lengthy recap from last week shows almost the entire McMahon/Austin
and McMahon/Undertaker/Kane incidents. Back "live" we see McMahon being
told that he has a visitor. "I told, you only my family!" he exclaims as
his heart rate increases on the monitor behind him. (Does the WWF have
their shit together or what?) In comes Mankind with some balloons and a
tiny box of candy (all of which he's apparently already eaten). Mankind
has also brought a friend--a LADY friend, who be promises Vince can do a
trick with a dog that he wouldn't believe. (Get your mind out of the
gutter!) Here comes a clown to blow up balloon animals. As if this
wasn't all surreal enough, Mankind drops down below the bed and puts on
a puppet show for McMahon with a dirty old sock (dubbed "Mr. Socko").
McMahon is eventually able to get rid of him. I've only seen a handful
of things funnier than this in wrestling, and one of them is yet to come
later in the evening.
- Sable is shown getting made up in the back. After the break they hype
her upcoming appearance on "Pacific Blue", which will air next Sunday.
Sable then comes out for color commentary for the next match. As she
takes her seat she shakes the hand of that mystery woman, who has shown
up once again. Sable tells Ross she's in training to challenge
Jacqueline for the WWF Women's Title.
- "MARVELOUS" MARC MERO (w/ Jacqueline) vs. VADER
I realize Jackie is there, but why would Sable come out for a Vader
match? Vader actually dominates here, up until Jackie tries to interfere
by coming off the top turnbuckle. Vader catches her, but winds up
setting her down in a gentlemanly manner. This allows Mero to Golota him
from behind, then land the "Marvelocity" (Shooting Star Press) for the
pin. I should probably mention that Vader will be gone from the WWF by
the end of the month. Look for him to surface in All Japan or ECW (no
WCW, though, as is stipulated by the early release the WWF is giving
him). He'll probably be back sometime next year, but only if he gets
himself into decent shape while gone.
Sable then runs into the ring, gets into it with Mero, and winds up
having some of her hair cut by Jacqueline. NOW we know why she was out
there in the first place. This may lead up to a "Hair vs. Hair" match at
the next PPV.
- Back at the hospital McMahon is having his temperature taken. A high
temp would indicate infection has set in. Can a fictitious broken leg
get infected?
- Steven Regal: A Real Man's Man. Regal likes to squeeze his own orange
juice, (though from his expression I'd have assumed he was drinking
lemon juice).
- OWEN HART vs. EDGE
No match, as Owen--still in his street clothes--comes out and says he's
too broken up by his injuring Dan Severn last week. He says he looked
into Severn's eyes and saw his own wife and kids. He then abruptly walks
out, giving Edge a win by forfeit. At the tapings Owen apparently also
said he was retiring, but they snipped that out for some reason. (In an
interesting side note, they also taped this segment twice, as Owen
apparently didn't show enough emotion the first time through. I wonder
which of those two takes this was?) After the break Michael Cole catches
up with Owen outside. Owen blows him off, saying "it's over and that
he's "done".
WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
- KEN SHAMROCK vs. KANE
A fine match, albeit a bit slow. Both men get good crowd support, (the
crowd not booing Shamrock like they're supposed to. Nor Kane, for that
matter). Kane seems to have the upper hand until the Undertaker comes
out. After watching for a minute he jumps up on the apron, just as Kane
is climbing to the top. Shamrock takes a swipe at the Undertaker,
hitting the ropes in the process. This upsets Kane's balance and he
drops down, straddling the turnbuckle. Shamrock then climbs up and
applies a superplex into a powerslam, then covers the somewhat upset
pin. The Undertaker ambles away and Kane, once he's recovered, heads off
in pursuit.
- Terri Runnels has a smile on her face as Val Venis pops up from the
bottom of the screen. He says he's found her wedding ring. Her "kitty"
was playing with it.
- VAL VENIS (w/ Terri Runnels) vs. GANGREL (w/ Christian)
"Christian", Edge's "younger brother", is the mystery man we've seen
with Gangrel recently. Terri is dressed like Baby Spice and looks pretty
hot. The match starts well, but doesn't last, as Edge puts in an
appearance. Gangrel slides from the ring and he an Christian (who Ross
calls "Christopher") lay the boots in. Val wins by countout. He and
Terri then go into another gropefest, until they're interrupted by the
little movie usher guy who used to work for Goldust. He hands Val a
golden letter, which Val reads. The Goldust video plays again on the
Titan-Tron and a voice from the sky invites Val to attend Goldust's
"world premiere" next week live on RAW.
During the above match Jim Ross takes a shot at "Hollywood" Hogan by
pointing out that they're featuring young athletes in the ring, and not
"45 year olds and their dueling microphones." (Hogan having just
finished his speech of the week over on Nitro.)
- Mr. McMahon asks his nurse if he can get a different one, as well as
something for the pain. You know, Mr. McMahon is kind of a jerk.
- AL SNOW vs. JEFF JARRETT
Early in the match the two spill to the floor, where Snow does the
running move off a chair which he did in his match against Sgt.
Slaughter. Who should show up then but Slaughter himself, out to keep an
eye on Snow. He would go on to interfere by shaking the ropes when Snow
was climbing to the top. The ref calls for the bell, DQ'ing Jarrett
because of Slaughter's interference. Word is that Snow and Slaughter
might fight again at the PPV, with the stipulation being that if Snow
loses, the Head has to leave the WWF.
- ROAD DOG (w/ X-Pac) vs. MARK HENRY (w/ D-Lo Brown)
Road Dog comes to the ring with a blow-up doll wearing Billy Gunn's
wrestling gear. He does his usual, pointing to the doll when it comes to
mentioning Bad Ass. Jerry Lawler then reveals that he's found out what
the papers that have been served to Chyna mean. Wading his way through
the legal mumbo-jumbo on the crumpled-up paper he's retrieved, it turns
out that Mark Henry is suing Chyna for sexual harassment.
This one goes by fast, as Chyna comes out to nail D-Lo. The ref
distracted, X-Pac sneaks in, kicks Henry in the googlies, and gives him
the face-first powerbomb. Road Dog rolls Henry over and gets the pin.
Mr. McMahon is signaling the nurse for more juice.
- They once again play lengthy clips what happened last week (damn it).
Then it's back to the hospital, where the nurse is taking McMahon's
blood pressure. He gives her an earful because it always comes up
normal. The same is true here, and she tells him that's all, then asks
the doctor on the other side of the room what he thinks. "Oh I'll take
it from here, nurse!" says "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who proceeds to
destroy McMahon. Dressed in a doctor's green scrubs, Austin lays into
McMahon with fists. He adds a few shots to McMahon's ankle cast, then
waffles him in the head with a bedpan. McMahon tumbles to the floor.
Throwing him back in the bed, Dr. Austin declares "we got an emergency
here ... everybody clear!" and gives him a electrical whack with a pair
of defibrillator paddles. With McMahon bent over the bed, begging for
mercy, Austin grabs a metal tube attached to an enema bag and jams it
where the sun doesn't shine (telling Vince "this will hurt you more than
it does me!") The camera then goes black as Austin calls McMahon a
"piece of trash!"
I can't adequately describe how funny this was.
- THE ROCK vs. THE UNDERTAKER
A really good match, which I'd do the blow-by-blow for if this damn ear
ache wasn't killing me. Cut to the finish, which saw Kane come out,
grab a chair, try to hit the Rock, but nail the Undertaker instead. The
Rock covers, but the ref is down from a bump he'd taken moments before.
The Undertaker recovers before the ref does, and he Tombstones the Rock
on the steel chair, then covers for the pin.
- Next week: The return of Goldust.
Comments:
Okay wrestling, even better angles. Even knowing much of the results
beforehand of this taped show, the WWF still managed to present it in a way
which made it exciting to watch. The obvious key is the addition of the
taped segments which weren't part of the actual live taping. We don't know
they are coming (well, we know something is probably coming, but not
exactly what). They let the action in the ring carries you along through
the rest of the show. For the umpteenth week in a row they delivered a
decent main event as well. Not much one can complain about with this one.
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The Bottom Line:
RAW will be live again next week, as well as the following week (as far as
I know). Next week they'll solidify the "Judgment Day" PPV card, while the
following week will begin the march to Survivor Series. That might be the
night we see Steven Regal make his return, Ray Traylor's return, maybe even
the beginning of Shawn Michaels' comeback. We should also hear a bit more
about whether the WWF has something planned with Jim Carrey. There should
be some good stuff in the coming weeks.
... which is bad news for WCW. RAW beat Nitro in the ratings again this
week, making it three straight for them. WCW has all the tools in place to
be good, and it's not as if they're in any kind of trouble, but there are
certainly some things they're doing which just aren't working. Appearances
by Hogan are starting to turn viewers off. The Warrior has failed to ignite
the fans, who simply aren't stupid enough to overlook the fact that he has
yet to actually wrestle a match in WCW (his two minutes in the War Games
not withstanding). People want to see the Warrior wrestling, not standing
around and talking himself hoarse. Finally, WCW's big "trump card", Ric
Flair's return and the Horsemen reunion, is starting to lose steam as WCW
does little more with it than dramatic-yet-uneventful confrontations. Not
letting Flair talk the last two weeks haven't helped either. WCW saw an
upswing in their numbers this week with all the interesting things they did
outside the ring, but in it, they have a hard time delivering matches which
mean anything or appeal to the majority of the fans. I truly believe if WCW
got rid of their first hour, or maybe dropped Thunder, and got rid of half
their lesser wrestlers, they could put on a pretty good show and kick major
ass each week. WCW is more concerned with putting on five hours of so-so
programming instead of two or three hours of great programming. And to do
that, they have to stretch, fill, kill time, and generally present
something that even the most diehard fan would have a hard time watching
all the way through.
By the way, Minnesota beat Green Bay 37-24. Of the three Monday night
shows, that's the one I watched the most this week. I'd consider giving the
Vikings the win, but my ear hurts and I'm sick of writing. Go home, you
rowdy lot. Go home!
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This Week's Winner: RAW.
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