Deep fried brain.

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Given that i am partially an escaped yorkshireman i should know if there is an actual recipe for deep fried brain : maybe its a glasgow thing like deep fried mars bars, i had one once….once is more than enough. Todays deep fried brain cells are definitely my own ones though as i have been back to that stage of saying very bad words to the computer just about all day today : you see if i have been first trying to download and install a video editing programme and then actually trying to use it .What with trying to breathe at the same time and i was well to the end of my multi-tasking mode.

It started quite well as i had done a fair bit of research, actually just asking internet friends ! but hey, so found the website and logged on, bought the download and started her up. All went swimmingly until my computer did its usual ‘computer says no’ except in its annoying computer-speak language which just means we are going to baffle the tits off you until you spend lots more money. Anyway after several tries at the obvious fixes : switch off/switch on, re-boot brain and re-engage still nothing and another hour gone. I did then work out that the support forums were as much use as…something not very useful, so i tried the help button and ended up in a chat assist dialogue with a ‘dave’, dave had to take over my computer remotely and completely , hope he likes my tits, n, ass collection ! and i left him and it together for a couple of hours while he did the entire install remotely : me ? did the housework instead.

Phase 1 of complete computer ineptitude over i then had a first attempt at running the software which is said to be completely intuitive : intuitive my arse, its like doing a self-colonoscopy but without the screen view !. Many, and i mean many, attempts later i was down to just downloading one video clip at a time to try and work out what even the basic controls do and several hours later got to the point where i do have a few clips running into each other in a semi-logical sequence, amazingly got to the point where i put some text and captions in and reached the heady heights of having some background sound running at the beginning an end. Totally inspired by then , and totally caffeinated out, i thought to try and record the few minutes of narrative that the video clip needs. Lordy-lord did that not go well even after reading the instructions several times, it seemed incredibly difficult to get both the programme and the pc to recognise the microphone even though its one that is normally set up to game with but yes got there after much ‘language’. The real struggle kicked off only once the hardwear was working because then i actually had to talk to the damn computer and the weird part is that i found that i could do it when it wasn’t recording but as soon as it was i found that i was speaking and getting about a half-second delay and then hearing myself half a second behind myself ….which totally and absolutely threw me off my pace…just couldn’t do it. The next stage is to ditch the microphone/headset combination and just talk into a desk-microphone only and have a listen to how bad i sound.

Its been a real expensive 2 days as well , what with buying a back-up hard drive, the software and a gimball mount for the basic camera. The previous evening i sat at the computer for hours editing, sorting and backing-up the photo files and still i have managed to lose 2 photo files that i wanted to take pictures from !.

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