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Train suicides

Particularly hate suicide cunts that jump in front of trains and give those health and safety cunts in high viz tabards (what those slip over vest things they wear are called cunts) an excuse to close the line all day and not tell anyone the reason why.

9 thoughts on “Train suicides”

Had one of these selfish fuckers during a trip to London a couple of years ago. Held up the tube for four hours while they scraped the selfish cunt of the tracks. Now, I’ve no problem with people wanting to off themselves. If you feel your time is up and you want to end it all, that’s your decision. Just do it in a way that doesn’t affect others.

I was on a train that ran over a cow. We were all shocked and demanded the cow get the best of care. Some time later I was on a train that ran over a rail worker. We were all glad (making jokes about Virgin covering their tracks etc.) and made complaints that the dead bastard was making us late.

I want to nominate Steven Gerrard as a very rotten cunt. The retarded idiot cunt is lazy, mindless, violent (search for a video of the cunt attacking Marcus McGee), and as ugly as a scabby cunt. Cunt Gerrard is pathetic at football and has the IQ of half of a piece of shit.

The cunt idiot lost the game for Liverpool (Druggy-chav-filth-pool of theives) by falling out biff-style (betting scam?), and lost the recent 2 world cup matches by being a brain-dead cunt.

“……I was on a train that ran over a cow. We were all shocked and demanded the cow get the best of care. Some time later I was on a train that ran over a rail worker. We were all glad (making jokes about Virgin covering their tracks etc.) and made complaints that the dead bastard was making us late……”

Bugger me, never intended as a nom, just part of passing conversation. Would have dressed it up a bit more had I known. Recall many youthful chats with an old cunt on me estate who used to work as an engine cleaner at Clapham Junction otherwise known as Suicide Junction back in the glory days of steam. He was a dab hand at removing dried on blood and assorted viscera. Found some jasper’s finger once stuck under the door of a first class carriage. Said he kept it as a little memento.
Point is I actually took up a spot of train spotting one summer hoping to view a few body parts on the passing rolling stock. Not a sausage let alone some cunt’s bollocks. Fucking bore so pissed orf outawit.

I was on a train going from Suzhou to Shanghai a few years back. It ground to a sudden halt when it hit a villager crossing the track with loads of other villagers. The body was right outside our window, the poor sod lying at an awkward angle with blood pouring out of his head and his bicycle lying at his side. The villager next him looked at the bike, decided it was better than his, dumped his down and buggered of with the poor sod’s bike.

The next villager did the same. Eventually all the villagers had buggered off and the worst bike in the village was lying alongside him. A few minutes later, a cop arrived on a moped. He wandered over and kicked the guy to make sure he was dead, then opened the box on the back of his moped and got a bin liner out. He looked a bit nonplussed for a while until he figured out that if he kicked his boot under the bloke’s head he could lift him up enough to slide his top half into the bin bag.

Then he wiped the blood off his boot on the dead guy’s trousers, got back on his moped and fucked off. The train started up again and off we went to Shanghai.

The Tutor witnessed a Tuk Tuk vs. Thai pedestrian accident in BKK once. The Tuk Tuk hit the guy and careened into the back of the bus to the Airport on which was The Tutor. The bus driver got out of the bus, along with several other passengers, dragged the dead Thai by his legs from the centre of the road to the kurb – his head bouncing on the tarmac all the way – and then prised the Tuk Tuk off the back of the bus(the driver of the Tuk was unscathed and bolted as soon as he could) and then re-boarded the bus and went his merry way to the Airport.