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Friday, December 9, 2011

Sun Press exposes major holiday light dispute!

Demonstrating that the Sun papers are your go-to source for hard-hitting news — at least the type that might set tongues a-twitter in some place like Ottoville, Ohio (pop. 900) — this week’s Sun Press features a front-page story titled “Shaker Square’s holiday lights not pleasing to all.”

This important investigative report reveals that longtime Shaker Heights resident Margaret Walton, “who moved to a nearby apartment building three years ago,” is unhappy that Shaker Square owner the Coral Company has retired the square’s old colored holiday lights for new white ones. While Coral’s vice-president of marketing Joan L. Mennett reveals that Coral “spent a lot of money on nice white lights for the holidays,” Walton sniffs that they should have maintained the old lights.

COLORED holiday lights, dammit!

Last year they had all the trees lit and decorated and it was quite lovely, said Walton, who always appreciated the holiday displays at the square as she has admired it [sic] for decades.

Walton is the only complainant cited in the story, so it’s unclear if the thousands of other residents of the Shaker Square area are breaking out the torches and pitchforks over this breach in beloved tradition.

But it’s not all dissension and unrest on the Shaker Square Christmas décor front.

According to the Sun Press,

Both Mennett and Walton agreed on at least two things: They are both very impressed with the snowman, as well as the gingerbread man, in front of Fire restaurant.

“All of the merchants do their own individual designs and decorations,” Mennett said. “We’ve had really positive responses from the public and the shopkeepers.”

Mennett and Walton also commended Our Lady of Peace Church on Shaker Boulevard for setting up a satellite lot on the square to sell Christmas trees.

No, we swear this isn't from The Onion. Stay tuned to the Sun Press to find out if the Shaker Square CVS moves its gift-wrap display without warning, causing one customer to take 10 extra seconds to find it. — Anastasia Pantsios