Monday, August 15, 2011

Dumb and Dumber's Adventures: Arts & Crafts (Part 1: The Prep)

After a crazy, expensive, and overindulgent weekend in Vegas…we decided to spend a quiet, low-key, simple weekend at home.

We thought it'd be the perfect weekend to try our hand at “cooking” some pineapple infused vodka. Seems simple enough: buy a couple of pineapples, some vodka, and a couple of containers, right? So that’s what we set out to do Saturday afternoon.

The Goal, as tasted at the Village Cafe in Santana Row

Part 1: The Prep

1: Headed to Cost Plus for some containers. Purchased one large (semi air-tight) glass container and a couple of glass bottles. $$$

2: Took a detour to Willows Market for some Black Albert...but found some other stouts and ice wine as well..then we hit up a couple of bike stores in search of THE handlebar. $$$$

3. Sorta kinda ran into Beer, Beer, and More Beer - a place that specializes in home brew kits. We figured we might as well buy contraptions to "cook" up some apple cider to go along side our pineapple infused vodka. Purchased 2 jugs, 2 jug plugs, wine yeast, corn sugar, and a bottling kit.$$

4: Waded our way through Costco (aka Crazy Town) for four 1.75L of Stoli and a case of pineapples $$$$ and then a polish dog and pizza snack ofcourse (um...how can you not?!). ¢¢

5: Got home in one piece after hours of slow/careful driving to protect our investment of glassware and alcohol, only to hear a loud “CCCRRRRRUUUNCH!!” when B’s fancy pants cars seat automatically slid back, allowing him to comfortably exit the car! HAHAHA (Stupid accident #1 <---yes, i started the counter...because if I'm involved, you know there won't ever be JUST ONE stupid accident!).

Yup...you guessed it! His car seat smashed the large glass container...ONLY the KEY piece to our project! Tired yet determined, we unloaded the car and braved it out again for another container.

6. But first, we had to make a stop at Whole Foods. We forgot the unfiltered/pasturized apple juice for the cider! So we picked up 5 things of that and some prosecco. (We are NOT alcoholics, I swear!)

7. We finally made our way back to Cost Plus and beelined it to the glass containers. I, ofcourse had to "test" the air-tightness of the jar (when did i get this cocky? i have no idea). I held the big ass container by the lid and said to B, "HEY LOOK! THIS IS A GOOD ONE!!!" and ofcourse "CRRRRAAASSSSHH!!!" The friggin' jar falls to the ground, breaks into a million pieces, and B gives me a dirty look. PRICELESS!HAHAHAHA CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE. (Stupid accident #2).

As if it couldn't get ANY worse...some asshole laughs at me and goes, "I guess you get one for the price of two!" while two store employees rushed over to make sure I was ok, "please step aside, we don't want you to get hurt". *CRINGE!!* All i could think was, "GET ME THE F*CK OUTTA HERE!!" but ofcourse before we could do that, the girl guilt trips us into signing up for the Cost Plus Rewards Card..."it's the least you could do, right?" she says. (SMART GIRL!!). B agrees to sign up for it. She punches in his info into her handheld computer, but it doesn't work (surprise surprise) so she has to write it down by hand. I couldn't help but laugh at myself and think, "CAN THIS TAKE ANY LONGER?? GEEZ!!)**.

**Note to self: No more touching shit at the store.

We finally make it out of the store and B tries to make me feel better by telling me I could win the "Darwin Award" with that one. hahahahahah AND IT WORKED! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

But sadly, by the time we got everything we needed and made it home, we were too exhausted to cook so we watched more of "Breaking Bad" Season 3 instead. Anti-climatic a bit? hahaha

Well, to summarize...this weekend wasn't quite the low-key weekend I imagined it would be. Although it wasn't VEGAS, somehow...we STILL managed to turn it into a crazy, expensive, and overindulgent weekend. d'oh! HAHAHAHAHA