Monday, November 19, 2007

Mmmmmm... Breakfast.

The toaster oven here at VFTP Command Central is hard at work on a couple of onion bagels, and the cream cheese, smoked salmon, and capers are standing by. They say that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have feelings, but with the way that smoked salmon tastes, I wouldn't care if it screamed all the way to the table and struggled going down. If people tasted liked smoked salmon, I'd be Hannibal frickin' Lecter.

Maybe my favorite sandwich after the divine reuben. It's too bad that the best examples of both are probably to be found in a city that physically causes me to break out in hives.

The toaster oven here at VFTP Command Central is hard at work on a couple of onion bagels, and the cream cheese, smoked salmon, and capers are standing by. They say that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have feelings, but with the way that smoked salmon tastes, I wouldn't care if it screamed all the way to the table and struggled going down.

(Good is almost always denoted by:* The cook rolls r's* There's nasty articles on the wall about Castro* Lots of pictures of Cuba on the wall* If you say "Yeah, I heard Castro died an hour ago", everybody shifts to Spanish Speed and thanks God for delivering on their prayers.)

"They say that it's okay to eat fish because they don't have feelings, but with the way that smoked salmon tastes, I wouldn't care if it screamed all the way to the table and struggled going down. If people tasted liked smoked salmon, I'd be Hannibal frickin' Lecter."

Maybe it's because I just finished reading about Heather Mills latest nonsense rantings about how everyone should become vegan, but that made me laugh my ass off. XD

And I'd eat a reuben if it had roast beef or something. Don't like corned beef, either.

Is something wrong with me?!

Favorite sandwiches:

The Slaw Be Jo at Capriotti'sfollowed by the Bobbie, also Capriotti's (and incidentally Thanksgiving dinner for my daughter and myself).Third is the chicken club toaster (with extra honey mustard) at Sonic. And you have to eat it with onion rings, it's a rule.

Underneath the bridgeThe tarp has sprung a leakAnd the animals Ive trappedHave all become my petsAnd Im living off of grassAnd the drippings from the ceilingIts okay to eat fishcause they dontt have any feelings

...I lunched on my fave non-sandwich from the nearby Cajun fast-food joint, Gumbo A-Go-Go (why yes, we are all insane here in the Midwest), which begins as a Datwich (very spicy turkey, cooked until it falls apart) with vegan succotash over rice on the side; one removes the Datwich filling, adds it to the succotash, and enjoys, with fine garlic bread on the side. The Datwich by itself is too hot even for me!

An added benefit is that any vegans nearby are repulsed.

(PS: Rubens? You come up here to Shapiro's and I'll feed you a real Ruben!)

They have feelings as all living things have feelings. But the energy that lives within them knows their role in our universe and accepts it. Hence, they do not "feel" bad about serving as your source of energy and pleasure.

It's not that I disapprove of the direction this is going, but just this once I ain't a-goin there in front of the more genteel co-commenters. Mmm-hmm.

Our notions of fair chase and a clean kill have developed along with our technological ability to do that. Noble Savages who prayed (and preyed) on the spirits of their sandwich meat would also reverently or gleefully watch an animal die slowly. Most of us don't think much of that now.

Tam, you eat that stuff and a Bronx accent scrapes your ears? Here in NYC my girlfriend calls it jewshi, and if you're *lucky*, you get to Murry's or N&W or Bagelworld (b'klyn!) or Essa Bagel before the line is out the door for those fresh warm tori. No toasting of fresh bagels!

My fav is whitefish salad with tomatoes and red onions on an everything bagel. Perfect hangover breakfast for keeping the morning people at bay. No lunch required.