As far as he knows, he's the first and only to achieve a 1 day bastard rank without a single trip to the failboat.

Oh, and there were a few Bastard-ranks without any equipment. One as a Robot.

Unable to juggle even while standing on one foot and making faces.3)4)5)6)

Should you encounter a wild Maniak on the Island, apply Monster Repellent. He'll then tell you why you suck for attempting such a manoeuvre and offer a superior alternative7). Worry not, Maniak and his ramblings rarely stay in one spot for too long.8)

Alright listen up you lowly maggots. I've come to the conclusion that I hate all of you and want to see you all suffer. I have established a Rewards Programme9) to promote self-destruction. If any of you weaklings can actually survive a Rank 6/Rank 7 or Bastard Rank you'll receive fabulous prizes like Teleporters, Crates or Cookies. Get cracking so I can hear your tormented screams on the failboat.