January 15th, 2013

January 2013

I was incapacitated from laughing myself silly watching Dinner For One 17 times on New Year’s Eve and regained composure only after catching a glimpse of the latest episode of Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Everybody knows there is nothing funnier than a bloke dressed as a woman, talking in an Irish accent. Sadly, they are now trying to give the character emotional depth and the show has become unwatchable as a result. If only they had stuck with the good old-fashioned factory floor style swearing of the first series and her hitting granddad over the head with the tea tray, rather than this new, needlessly sophisticated approach. They will pretend not to be Irish next.

In other news, my namesake Henning Berg got the sack as Blackburn manager after less than two months in the job. Not because of bad results but because he wasn’t prepared to wear a Michael Jackson wig and act a complete fool at the office Christmas party. Only in Britain is this a sackable offence!

Mind you, Berg should have watched Harry Enfield’s ‘Ah come on, it’s Christmas’ sketch in preparation. In fact, it should be made compulsory viewing for all foreigners intending to work in the UK. Here we go: AH COME ON, IT’s CHRISTMAS

Talking of foreigners intending to work in the UK…please find a list of my upcoming tour dates at the bottom of this email. (Seamless link, I know.) And if you think I’m pushing them too hard, I’d remind you that Miranda Hart is already heavily advertising her 2014 solo shows.

Why would anyone buy tickets that far in advance? If there’s massive demand there’ll be extra shows and if there isn’t you’ll be able to buy tickets nearer the time. Then again, Vorfreude ist die schoenste Freude, anticipation is half the pleasure.

Anyway, I’m currently trying to go one better and book the Olympic Stadium for some date in 2027, thus providing my agent with the perfect sales spiel for years to come: “Want him to do your company event? That’ll cost you. Just to give you an idea, he’s got a gig at the Olympic Stadium coming up.”

Once a few gullible souls have fallen for it, there might be enough in the war chest to promote the gig so heavily I actually fill the place.

Oh dear, I just argued it’s possible to spend your way to the top! Next thing you know, I will be arguing you can spend your way out of an economic crisis.

Have a great year – I’m off to join some socialist splinter group

Just in case this bulletin didn’t sufficiently amuse you here’s the link to Dinner For One. That’ll definitely make you laugh! DINNER FOR ONE

Henning

March 2018

5 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
6 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
21 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
22 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

April 2018

09 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
10 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
13 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
14 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
18 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
20 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
21 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
30 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress

May 2018

1 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
2 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
7 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
8 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
11 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT- Work In Progress
13 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work in Progress
14 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
17 – DARTMOUTH – The Flavel – TICKETS – Work In Progress
18 – FALMOUTH – The Poly – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – PENZANCE – The Acorn – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
30 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
31 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT