Friday, October 28, 2005

Grace

Guideposts has one of my devotionals posted on their website today. I keep the teapot from the story displayed in my kitchen as a reminder to always be grateful for what I have, no matter how dismal that seems. (Thanks to EJ for the heads-up.)

Just wanted to say I got The Priest of Blood today Shiela! Thanks! I look forward to reading it! Even more though, I have to say, I loved the extras ( I loved loved loved the book you sent extra and will happily find a new home for the coy I already had and had read :)) and the bookmark..."NEver give up- It annoys the cynics." picked a wonderful day to arrive and shall immediately find a home on my magnetic board by my desk... it's been a really discouraging week and you'll never know what a smile those words brought.Mary

I'm a sixteen year old runaway living in the USA. I'm from Canada. I fell in love with an American girl and moved away to get away from my abusive family. That American girl ended up being even more abusive than my mother (she was nineteen), so I moved to another place in the US to live with a friend. I ended up falling in love again here. But the plan to live with that friend fell through, and despite the fact that I love that girl and she's given me all the love that my mother and my last girlfriend could not provide at all, it's not enough reason to stay here. She knows this, and although I'm leaving, we're going to try and keep it up anyway. I am staying with another friend in NY right now, and I'm so sick of being a leech, and understanably, it is near impossible to get a job here under my circumstances.

I'm going back to Ontario, but my mother moved to Newfoundland, and I still do not trust or love her. I came to the point where I tried to kill myself, but spit the pills up and decided that it wasn't worth dying over these temporary problems. I don't think I could've made it through this without my girlfriend and the wonderful friends I've amassed.

I'm so glad I decided to hang on. The next day, I recieved an e-mail from an old teacher who had read about my problems and said that I could stay with him until I was on my feet. Incidentally, his wife works with teenagers who are in situations like mine. I've started talking to friends who are interested in getting a place with me as well.

A year ago before this all began, I was an unneccesarily cruel, arrogant, impulsive fool. While I certainly do carry some emotional impulse with me, having to rely on others has been an incredibly humbling experience, and it's shown me how good some people can be. I'm looking forward to getting back on my feet, and I'm comforted to know there are people I can rely on.

You and I clearly do not share the same religious views, but we've both been in similar situations, it would seem. I always read your blog, and this was a very inspiring thing to read.

*laughs* This really went on for far longer than I'd intended, but I hope you got something out of reading it, anyway. We should all take these experiences to make us stronger, and hang on because things get better.