Sunday, October 26, 2014

Maybe you noticed BIGFOOT READS hasn’t had new posts since the spring. Maybe you were too busy all summer long reading comic books and making sandcastles to notice my friends and I were gone for seven months. Whether or not you noticed, we were far, far away in a place with no Wi-Fi—a planet called Zeenton.

Here’s what happened. Last March we cryptids were winter weary. After months of ice and snow, Morzant’s constant nagging for us to visit his home planet—a place that’s mostly desert—seemed like a great idea.

It wasn’t.

Have you ever taken a road trip with your family? Remember the car-sickness? The bickering? Your dad refusing to make stops because you’re making good time? Imagine that, but you’re in a spaceship with a tone-deaf sea monster who sings to the radio even when she doesn’t know the words. Then there’s this half-invisible turtle who repeats the same three knock-knock jokes over and over. You’re traveling at the speed of light, so forget about passing time watching out the window. And don’t get me started on the spacesick guinea pig.

Knowing Morzant, when he said we’d only be gone a week I should have guessed he was measuring time by Zeenton’s standards. Jot this down for future reference: 1 Zeenton week = 7 Earth months

The worst part? Somehow I’d gotten the idea I might be able to take photographs on Zeenton. Nope. My photography impediment made the trip with me. Too bad. There really were a lot of spectacular things to see. Here are some of the pictures I tried to take.This is a big bird. A really big bird. Size-of-an-elephant big. I can’t remember what it’s called and I’m not about to ask Morzant or I’ll get an hour-long lecture about this freaky bird’s habitat, favorite foods, and the molecular structure of its beak. And I’m talking a Zeentonian hour, not an Earth one.

You’ve probably seen plenty of blurry photographs of U.F.O.s. Here’s another. Only this flying object isn't “unidentified.” It’s Morzant’s ship. It definitely wasn't designed to comfortably transport nine cryptids and a guinea pig across three galaxies.

This is a Motrozalavian egg farm. Morzant was thrilled that we arrived right as the giant eggs were hatching. Want to know what came out? Hint: Not chickens. Our visit there will haunt my nightmares until the day I die, and probably after.

Too bad somebody without a photograph impediment didn’t take this photograph of the whole group at Zovtak Cave.

What a trip. And, oh goodie. Look at the calendar. We got back just in time for the start of winter. At least being cooped up inside will give me time to catch up on my reading.

by Manasi Subramaniam and Shobha Viswanath,illustrated by Culpeo S. Fox

[PICTURE BOOK]

Chitra

March 18, 2014

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NESTING BIRD?

by Rita Gray, illustrated by Kenard Pak

[PICTURE BOOK]

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

March 18, 2014

LETTER LUNCH

by Elisa Gutiérrez

[PICTURE BOOK]

Owlkids

March 18, 2014

PRESTO CHANG-O: A BOOK OF ANIMAL MAGIC

by Édouard Manceau

[PICTURE BOOK]

Twirl-Chronicle

March 18, 2014

A TREE FOR ALL SEASONS

by Maryse Guittet

[BOARD BOOK]

Twirl-Chronicle

March 18, 2014

A LION IN PARIS

by Beatrice Alemagna

[PICTURE BOOK]

Tate

March 25, 2014

TAP TAP BOOM BOOM

by Elizabeth Bluemle, illustrated by G. Brian Karas

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

March 25, 2014

The books the walrus gives LENNY:

SCARLATTI’S CAT

by Nathaniel Lachenmeyer, illustrated by Carlyn Beccia

[PICTURE BOOK]

Carolrhoda-Lerner

March 1, 2014

SNOW DOG, SAND DOG

by Linda Joy Singleton, illustrated by Jess Golden

[PICTURE BOOK]

Albert Whitman

March 1, 2014

NAT THE CAT CAN SLEEP LIKE THAT

by Victoria Allenby, illustrated by Tara Anderson

[PICTURE BOOK]

Pajama Press

March 1, 2014

THERE ONCE WAS A COWPOKE WHO SWALLOWED AN ANT

by Helen Ketteman, illustrated by Will Terry

[PICTURE BOOK]

Albert Whitman

March 1, 2014

I DIDN’T DO MY HOMEWORK BECAUSE…

by Davide Cali, illustrated by Benjamin Chaud

[EARLY READER]

Chronicle

March 4, 2014

NO SLURPING, NO BURPING!: A TALE OF TABLE MANNERS

by Kara LaReau, illustrated by Lorelay Bove

[PICTURE BOOK]

Disney-Hyperion

March 4, 2014

START YOUR ENGINES: 5-MINUTE STORIES

by various authors

[PICTURE BOOK—COLLECTION]

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

March 4, 2014

THE HOUSE THAT ZAC BUILT

by Alison Murray

[PICTURE BOOK]

Orchard Books-Scholastic

March 6, 2014

ERIC, THE BOY WHO LOST HIS GRAVITY

by Jenni Desmond

[PICTURE BOOK]

Blue Apple Books

March 11, 2014

OUT OF THE BOX

by Ethan Long

[EARLY READER—THIRD IN THE SCRIBBLES AND INK SERIES]

Blue Apple Books

March 11, 2014

GOING PLACES

by Paul A. Reynolds, illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds

[PICTURE BOOK]

Atheneum-Simon & Schuster

March 18, 2014

MATILDA’S CAT

by Emily Gravett

[PICTURE BOOK]

Simon & Schuster

March 18, 2014

MONSTER CHEFS

by Brian Anderson, illustrated Liam Anderson

[PICTURE BOOK]

Roaring Brook

March 18, 2014

SLAM!: A TALE OF CONSEQUENCES

by Adam Stower

[PICTURE BOOK]

Owlkids

March 18, 2014

HOW TO CHEER UP DAD

by Fred Koehler

[PICTURE BOOK]

Dial-Penguin

March 20, 2014

BOK! BOK!

by Cyndi Marko

[EARLY CHAPTER BOOK—SECOND IN THE KUNG POW CHICKEN SERIES]

Scholastic

March 25, 2014

THE LOCH MESS MONSTER

by Helen Lester, illustrated by Lynn Munsinger

[PICTURE BOOK]

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

March 25, 2014

The books the walrus gives VIOLET:

THE SHORT GIRAFFE

by Neil Flory, illustrated by Mark Cleary

[PICTURE BOOK]

Albert Whitman

March 1, 2014

STONE SOUP WITH MATZOH BALLS: A PASSOVER TALE IN CHELM

by Linda Glaser, illustrated by Maryam Tabatabaei

[PICTURE BOOK]

Albert Whitman

March 1, 2014

TOCAN CAN!

by Juliette MacIver, illustrated Sarah Davis

[PICTURE BOOK]

Gecko Press

March 1, 2014

UPSIDE DOWN BABIES

by Jeanne Willis, illustrated by Adrian Reynolds

[PICTURE BOOK]

Andersen Press USA

March 1, 2014

WATCH OUT FOR THE CROCODILE

by Lisa Moroni, illustrated by Eva Eriksson

[PICTURE BOOK]

Gecko Press

March 1, 2014

PEGGY: A BRAVE CHICKEN ON A BIG ADVENTURE

by Anna Walker

[PICTURE BOOK]

Clarion-Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

March 4, 2014

SNORING BEAUTY

by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen, illustrated by Jane Manning

[PICTURE BOOK]

HarperCollins

March 4, 2014

TWO BUNNY BUDDIES

by Kathryn O. Galbraith, illustrated by Joe Cepeda

[PICTURE BOOK]

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

March 4, 2014

BABY’S GOT THE BLUES

by Carol Diggory Shields, illustrated by Lauren Tobia

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

March 11, 2014

LET’S DANCE, GRANDMA!

by Nigel McMullen

[PICTURE BOOK]

HarperCollins

March 11, 2014

POOR DOREEN: A FISHY TALE

by Sally Lloyd-Jones, illustrated by Alexandra Boiger

[PICTURE BOOK]

Schwartz & Wade-Random House

March 11, 2014

ROOTING FOR YOU

by Susan Hood, illustrated by Matthew Cordell

[PICTURE BOOK]

Disney-Hyperion

March 11, 2014

SPARKY!

by Jenny Offill, Chris Appelhans

[PICTURE BOOK]

Schwartz & Wade-Random House

March 11, 2014

TROLL SWAP

by Leigh Hodgkinson

[PICTURE BOOK]

Nosy Crow-Candlewick

March 11, 2014

BETTY BUNNY WANTS A GOAL

by Michael B. Kaplan, illustrated by Stephane Jorisch

[PICTURE BOOK—BETTY BUNNY SERIES]

Dial-Penguin

March 18, 2014

PRINCESSES ARE NOT JUST PRETTY

by Kate Lum, illustrated by Sue Hellard

[PICTURE BOOK—THIRD IN THE PRINCESSES ARE NOT SERIES]

Bloomsbury USA

March 18, 2014

SHARE

by Sally Anne Garland

[PICTURE BOOK]

Owlkids

March 18, 2014

WHEN THE WIND BLEW

by Alison Jackson, illustrated by Doris Barrette

[PICTURE BOOK]

Henry Holt

March 18, 2014

OLIVER’S TREE

by Kit Chase

[PICTURE BOOK]

Putnam-Penguin

March 20, 2014

SPROUT HELPS OUT

by Rosie Winstead

[PICTURE BOOK]

Dial-Penguin

March 20, 2014

THE GEESE MARCH IN STEP

by Jean-Francois Dumont

[PICTURE BOOK]

Eerdmans

March 21, 2014

HOW TO BABYSIT A GRANDMA

by Jean Reagan, illustrated by Lee Wildish

[PICTURE BOOK—SEQUEL TO HOW TO BABYSIT A GRANDPA]

Knopf-Random House

March 25, 2014

SHOE DOG

by Megan McDonald, illustrated by Katherine Tillotson

[PICTURE BOOK]

Richard Jackson-Atheneum-Simon & Schuster

March 25, 2014

TIPPY-TIPPY-TIPPY, SPLASH!

by Candace Fleming, G. Brian Karas

[PICTURE BOOK]

Atheneum-Simon & Schuster

March 25, 2014

* The dream entries from Briar’s journal contain premonitions of books that will be published in the future. Briar’s dream self foresees the books’ summaries and knows which will likely appeal to each of her friends. Briar always wakes up before she can see whether her friends will enjoy the books.

Review Policy

Unless otherwise noted, the books recommended on Bigfoot Reads are either checked out of a public library by one of the cryptids or purchased by Bigfoot.

The dream entries from Briar’s journal contain premonitions of books that will be published in the future. Briar’s dream self foresees the books’ summaries and knows which will likely appeal to each of her friends. Briar always wakes up before she can see whether her friends will enjoy the books.

Bigfoot Reads has a strict policy against recommending any book in which a dog dies.