Saturday, 7 May 2011

Round and Round and Round and Round

Sometimes your attempt to maintain a positive outlook gets broken down by the smallest negative thought. Once that kernel of negativity seeps through a whole wave of "AND I can't do this either" and "this isn't right about me as well" crashes over you and pulls you under.

After a mad busy day at work and feeling tired I came home and wanted to crash. Instead of chilling out I decided to hula hoop for half an hour - burn some cals, y'know. Now whether it was because I was just too tired or not, for some reason me and my hoop were not being friends, and by this I mean the bloody thing kept falling to the floor! I'm not an expert at it but I'm usually good enough to keep it going for a few mins before having to restart. Last night? Nope, about 20 seconds was my longest spin before it hit the floor (and my shins and ankles on the way!)

I persevered through a frustrating half an hour and just felt so annoyed and negative afterwards. It's funny how such a small thing could make me feel so bad but that bad hoop session seemed to encapsulate everything I'm trying to break free from. How I don't feel good enough, how my weight impairs me having fun.

I really do need to work on not letting something so small alter my mood. I gave my hoop some evils this morning! I'm going to fetch it in a minute and attempt another 30 mins. It will not beat me again!

This may be aiming a bit too high! I'll settle for keeping it up for more than 5 mins first!