Archive for February, 2009

There are so many charities, agencies, departments and associations in this country that it would be impossible to come up with clever acronyms for all of them. That hasn’t stopped us from trying, though, and while our acronym obsession won’t affect well-known institutions like the FBI or the NFL, it can be a serious problem for new organizations whose name translates to something mischievous. I’m not saying I wouldn’t donate money to support Helping All Things Everywhere (or the Hungarian Athletics Training Emporium for that matter), but I would think twice about it.

Today’s Drabble scored a big laugh from me for its uncanny combination of two comic strip staples: the unbearable stickler for grammar and the sarcastic, emasculating wife. I was surprised to see how well these archetypes worked together, especially since neither one strikes me as funny in and of themselves. It probably helped that I was caught off guard by the punchline, preoccupied as I was with trying to figure out the true definitions of “nauseous” and “nauseated.” Turns out the son in this strip has a point, even if it relies on hopelessly strict and outdated standards of usage.

Although I ride my bike through the streets of Chicago from time to time, I’ve never thought of these trips as dangerous. Much of the city is covered with bike lanes and many of the streets are either so light on traffic that a bicycle is hard to miss or so clogged with cars that they can’t move fast enough to hit you. I helps to wear orange, too. There are exceptions to these rules, of course, but I still think city biking is safer than, say, carting a tricycle up to the roof and riding it down a steep, shingled slope at top seed.

So it’s finally come to this. With the economy in free-fall, people are spending less and less money, causing retail stores to close at an alarming rate. Even so, I’m resisting the calls to spend, spend, spend to revive the sluggish economy. Today’s Arlo & Janis drives home the lunacy of spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need by showing a pair of mall cops kidnapping an unassuming suburban couple. For those of us lucky enough to have jobs, a good rule of thumb might be to spend on the essentials, then save…then save some more, and then finally spend a reasonable amount of money (not credit) on a luxury or two.

I remember Jerry Seinfeld saying something along the lines of, “If you don’t keep pushing the envelope then you’ll never know how far is too far.” Here to show us the exact location of “too far” is Daddy’s Home (a comic that isn’t known for pushing boundaries). It’s depiction of a young boy joyously flashing his parents teeters dangerously close to the edge. What puts it over the top is the fact that he doesn’t even ask for beads in return.

The dynamics of time travel can make for fascinating science fiction or incredibly dull and convoluted storytelling, depending on the talent of the writer. But the “tourist from the future” angle isn’t what interests me about this strip. What caught my eye was the striking visual style employed in the first two panels. The grainy, desolate moonscape sets a sinister tone that’s hard to shake, try as the strip may by adding a buffoon with a camera.

Even though my grandfather never referred to himself as old, he did take full advantage of a particular senior discount. It wasn’t for movie tickets (he didn’t go that often) or for bus rides (he drove most places), but rather for his medium decaf cream and sugar coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. He was so pleased with the discount that he asked for and received his very own card, which he brandished with glee during each and every transaction. I don’t know how many years he had the card before passing away, but it’s hard for me to remember (or even imagine) him standing at a Dunkin’ Donuts cash register and not adding “senior discount” to the end of his order.