A musician graced with the blessing of being picked for bassoon in their high school band, or someone with knowledge enough of this profoundly wonderful instrument to choose it.

Bassoonists tend to be a little on the nutty side. When approaching a bassoonist right after a rehearsal, be very cautious until you know if the piece was good or not. If it was good, run, or you will never hear the end of it. If it was very bad, run, or you may detect bad vibes unintentionally directed at you. If it was a trombone, baritone, or tuba part, run. Just run.

'Bassoonists can be mighty dangerous; all those years of blowing on a double reed, and the pressure can get to your brain.' ~paraphrased, Law&Order or CSI