Monday, October 27, 2008

Transparency Jensen-style

When it comes to discussing little Pete Jensen and his developmentally delayed family of Sydney Anglicans there’s no secret about the fact that I’d rather shift the conversation to more uplifting topics like bestiality or tropical skin disease. Yet sometimes there’s no alternative for Bible-believing Christians other than to face their objectionable cousins from the south square-on.

After all, not even a creative genius like little Martyn Minns can come up with all of ++Akinola’s ramblings, so it’s important that those of us in the rest of the Communion keep an eye on who else is writing the great wise man of GAFCON's cue-cards. Otherwise there’s no telling how many folk might start believing the future of North American Christianity really does lay with Nigeria – and where’s little Bobby Duncan’s dream going to be if that idea catches on?

And mark my words, while the world has gone into an uproar over Sydney’s latest delusion of orthodoxy, little Pete has managed to slip something smelly underneat everyone’s doormat. The final paragraph of this piece from the Church Times makes public what the world’s favourite nepotist would rather have kept private; that the Sydney synod has “made provision of appropriate financial support to enable Archbishop Jensen to adequately discharge his responsibilities as Honorary Secretary to the GAFCON Primates’ Council.”

In other words, and as I’ve said before, admin and communication costs for the glorious world-wide schism are now funded by the faithful putting their pennies in Sydney offertory plates. Which means it’s a safe bet that much as his bold fellow Gafconeers detest little Pete’s Eucharistic doctrine of the Real Absence, none of them are going to give more than the mildest of squeaks in protest at this particular tear in the Communion’s fabled fabric.

What’s more, you’ve got to admire the grip he’s got on his flock: how many other organisations give their beloved leader permission to spend whatever it takes to “adequately discharge his responsibilities” with no further accountability? We’re talking Kim Jong-il, Robert Mugabe, and just possibly David Virtue, but that’s about it. Sure, it can’t take much in real terms to buy off some the flakier nations on the world’s least stable continent, but just think how much enough pâté de foie gras to stop Layman Schofield whinging must cost. Nor bother trying to kid yourself about that being just a one-off expenditure either.

No, if there’s one thing to be said for the Anglo-Catholic members of GAFCON it’s this: that they’re all certainly men who stand by their principles. And when it comes to the Sacraments it’s wonderful to see them put them being put second to the greatest principle of all – money talks loudest

8 comments
:

Otherwise there’s no telling how many folk might start believing the future of North American Christianity really does lay with Nigeria – and where’s little Bobby Duncan’s dream going to be if that idea catches on?

Fr. Christian, As a follower of ++Akinola I think I would object to this intimation!

Comrade Christian, English not so very good, but cannot help but wonder if theological thought of Australikan Peter Jensen (we can call this "Jensenism") is very closely related to theological thought of Cornelius Jansen (known as "Jansenism")? Amerikan boyfriend write article on his blog (in his very awful French, click on my name to read) about poignant problem of torture, the nature of the Holy Eucharist, and boyfriend's own understanding of "real absence" of Christ. Seems like real absence of Peter Jensenism is very different from Marko's idea about real absence.

Of course Father you will be glad to know that I am donating to this program. By placing my small offering in the church plate, a proportion of it goes to pay the parish dues to the diocese and thus a yet smaller proportion goes to fund GAFCON. Perhaps Father might instruct me as to how I can put something like miniature bomb into one coin which is only activated when it finds itself in a cash box labelled GAFCON. Just to give the treasurer or perhaps Petie himself a little excitement in his dreary life answering FOCA correspondence.

I once used the Parish photocopier to take images of my firm, athletic buttocks and I put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate and said 25 Hail Mary's, feeling guilty for using company equipment for my personal Christmas cards. I can't imagine stealing Parish funds to bankroll my agenda for world domination. It takes a very specific personality type that strokes a crucifix with one hand and his genitals with the other, impassioned by the sound of jingling change. It is not only he who should be ashamed but those who allow him to continue without justice.

... takes a very specific personality type that strokes a crucifix with one hand and his genitals with the other

Two Cents: you have such a charmingly graphic way with words, but I believe in little Pete's case crucifixes only serve to render him impotent with sectarian protestant rage. His much loved Annotated Evangelical Study Bible (words of St.Paul in gold lettering), on the other hand, reduces his knees to jelly every time.

BTW, you wouldn't happen to have a spare copy of that xerox I could have for research purposes, would you?