You know, the kind of thing where you develop a weird kind of social Tourettes and you just do or say something really idiotic for no good reason and everyone looks at you like or , and then shuffles politely and looks at their shoes. Or it all goes quiet and you want to die. Or just silly, funny, preferably humiliating stuff that has happened to you.

i was tutoring a relatively attractive guy last month, and while we were going over the lesson, i accidently sneezed and farted at the same time. In my head i was like omg, how did this occur, should I say it wasn't me? But I knew that sh!t wasn't gon work, so I just pretended like it didn't happen. But in the corner of my eye, I saw him shift away from me. I was like

oh claude I have so many.... umm, I was dancing at a quince with a family friend and my boob popped out. I was moritifed. It was mostly family, but still.

My first day of college included orientation for all the freshmen. I volunteered for a skit (after hyping myself up and vowing that I wouldn't be a wallflower like I was in high school), and as I was walking up on stage, I tripped and fell on my knees in front of everyone. I wanted to cry, but instead I stood up slowly, and took this elaborate bow, everybody cheered and I made two friends that day cuz they liked the way I handled it.I still have the scar on my shin.

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