…a boomer muses about life, change, joys, sorrows and freedom from the prison of corporate life.

Offbeat Christmas Gifts

The idea for this post came from something I heard on the news that made my jaw drop. But, after doing some research, I found out that it is absolutely true. It seems that a man named Colin Hart is selling piggy banks made of actual piglets on his website!

Now I happen to be one of those people who like offbeat, weird things, but this grossed out even me! I’m glad they don’t actually kill the piglets, but still… I think if I had one of those in my house, I’d always look at it and feel guilty. I mean, I’m a bacon lover! I don’t need to be looking at that little face! Buy hey! At $4,000 apiece, how many is this guy going to sell? I don’t think the pigs need to worry too much.

But here’s something for that friend who’s a fan of the French Revolution – a Marie Antoinette action figure! It sells for only $10.16 at Amazon.com. You press a button and her head comes off! How cool is that? She has a removable dress and wig. If you remove the wig before pressing the button, her head will go even further. Under the fancy dress she is wearing the peasant’s dress that she wore to the actual beheading. So this is actually an educational gift. Uh-huh.

Here’s another enchanting idea – the “Cat-A-Pult Kitty Flinger.” This would be perfect for those boring afternoons in the office and if I were still working, I would totally have to get myself one of these. You load the cats into the catapult gun and pull the trigger. It propels the kitties up to 15 feet away! Imagine a kitty landing in someone’s cubicle out of the blue! Big fun, I’d say! It sells for $11.48 at Amazon.

As usual, I’ve saved my favorite for last. That would be the “Avenging Unicorn Play Set,” selling for $11.95 at Amazon. The name practically says it all. I’m sure unicorns are as sick as I am of all the clouds, princesses, castles, gooey, sweet, magical garbage they’re always being associated with. And how satisfying is it that one of his victims is a mime? But, my favorite part is the bit on the box that says, “4 Magical Horns – 3 Figures to Impale!” Who wouldn’t love this? And it comes with a Unicorn Code that ends with “and a unicorn never does drugs.” Anyway, it might come in handy in lieu of a Voodoo Doll, if you know what I mean. Imagine how happy I’d besomeone would be to find this under the Christmas tree!

So, I’m sure I’ve got your brains percolating by now, realizing all of the people you could make happy this Christmas by not buying the same-old, same-old gift. So I’ll just bring this to a close by saying, “Happy Shopping!”