A Business Was So Impressed With The Thieves Who Robbed Them That They Offered Them Jobs

You can’t accuse Smith Crane & Construction of failing to find a silver lining in even the most objectively bad situation. Earlier this week, the New Zealand-based contractor learned that it had been targeted by thieves who made off with the company’s tools and other property, so they started a hunt for the thieves — but not in the way you’d think.

The company, apparently impressed by the criminals’ willingness to work early hours in conducting their low-grade heist, put up a Facebook post to offer the industrious gang an “honest living” with the firm. In a very “glass half-full” characterization of the thieves, the company publicly dissected the desirable traits the perpetrators exhibited.

If the outcome seems too good to be true for the thieves, well, maybe it is. The criminals caught on camera may want to seek gainful employment elsewhere, as the company commented on its own post that it’s offering a reward for information leading to the capture of these two people — presumably not so they can schedule a meeting with human resources.

Speaking to Newshub, the company’s owner, Tim Smith, came clean saying the post was made more in jest than in earnest, but that he’s open-minded. “We can give them some work if they want … we have ex-prisoners working for us,” he said.

Judging by their current career path and the fact that they’d be facing jail time for their crime, he shouldn’t expect them to be turning up any time soon, but stranger things have happened, and we’d all like an update to give us some closure here. This has all the hallmarks of a feel-good story, save an actual ending.