You can read a little more about it in the Post, but I learned about it on local cable (yes, I have cable to go along with my hot and cold running water) news channel NY1:

Note how the bystanders in this interview are a perfect cross-section of the neighborhood as it is today. Note also that two members of the Human League were kind enough to take some time out of their busy schedules in order to attend, and that between them they almost have a complete haircut. Most importantly, it was a relatively cool 53 degrees, which prevented the situation from boiling over into a full-scale "Do The Right Thing" style riot.

While the city has rescinded the tickets, the bitterness remains, and it seems unlikely that the tensions between orthodox Jewry and cycling hipsterdom is going to go away anytime soon. And like most disagreements of this nature, the root of the problem is a lack of understanding on both sides. So once again, I feel it is incumbent upon me to put on my Cone of Mediation (it looks like a Cone of Smugness except it's got a picture of Condoleezza Rice taped to it) and try to broker a settlement.

What the orthodox Jews need to understand is that Kent Avenue is a vital part of the Great Hipster Silk Route. The hipster cultural economy depends on the easy flow of hipsters and hipster goods from Williamsburg (represented by Jerusalem) to the remote northeastern region of Astoria, Queens (represented by the Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden, the only place in Queens they know) and the southwestern region of Red Hook, Brooklyn (represented by the Obama Bike, which was photographed in Red Hook). Moreover, hipsters sojourning in all parts of Brooklyn and Queens must be able to travel to and worship in Williamsburg, which is their ancestral home. (At least since the late 1990s.)

(The Great Hipster Silk Route)

If you've ever traveled along the Great Hipster Silk Route, you've doubtless seen hipster caravans on Kent and Flushing Avenues. Like their Bedouin counterparts, they travel slowly in small groups and are often huddled together against the wind, but instead of camels they ride old crappy ten speeds and shoddy Craigslist conversions with wobbly rear wheels and steel rims, their skateboarding helmets crooked on their heads and their messenger bags brimming with dirty clothes as they perform the time-honored ritual known as the "ride of shame."

Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "It's 2008. The hipsters can exchange their cultural currency on the internet." Not so. Even today the hipster cultural economy relies heavily on the Great Hipster Silk Route. What happens when a hipster in Red Hook wants a tattoo that can only be obtained in Greenpoint, or a hipster in Long Island City wants to drink with and attempt to mate with a hipster in Clinton Hill, or a hipster in Fort Greene wants to rehearse with his bandmates in Dumbo? And that's to say nothing of the drugs and STDs, both of which are key components of hipster culture and which even today are still not downloadable.

Of course, like a recent Bard graduate this situation swings both ways, and what the hipsters need to understand is that double-parked minivans in the advanced stages of road salt-induced corrosion that perform u-turns suddenly and without warning are as essential to orthodox Jews as riding crappy bikes to crappy bars is to hipsters. In fact, the Talmud sets forth highly specific rules pertaining to the mandatory use of a cellphone while driving, the placement of bumper stickers bearing the likeness of Menachem Schneerson, and the sacred use of a coat hanger in place of an antenna. Also, what may appear to be seriously erratic driving is actually ritual driving, and if you were to watch from above you'd realize they are spelling out Hebrew prayers.

Armed with this knowledge I'm confident that both groups can take at least one more step towards understanding each-other and living in harmony.

I'm way less confident about the economy, though. It's one thing when things like investment banks are suffering; it's something else entirely when it's affecting cyclists directly. A reader recently forwarded me this troubling Craigslist ad:

Beautiful hand crafted frame with a one of a kind paint job, with top of the line gears (dura ace), mavic cosmic elite wheels, computer, carbon fiber seat post and stem, paid $5000 year ago for this bike, economy got me down, have to sell, take advantage, your gain, a sure beauty for any bike collector/enthusiast -- Price is negotiable

It is hard to match the tie-dyed ugliness that is a Colnago, and it's always sad when someone is forced to part with one. Understandably, this particular seller is too distressed to mention small details like frame size and model, though judging from the photographs it's one of the older aluminum ones. These truly are rare bicycles, since most of them broke. Still, it's upsetting to see the economy forcing someone to part with his baby, even if that baby looks like something you might find in a hippie's laundry hamper.

Concerned, I realized I had to take a closer look at the cycling economy--one that looks beyond the PistaDex. As such, I amassed some data in order to determine the current Chris King Headset Composite Index:

Unlike the PistaDex, which is influenced by fashion as much as it is by the economy, the CKHCI is a much more reliable indicator of people's willingness to part with money for used bicycle products. If you're unfamiliar with the Chris King headset, it is a component that retails for about $130. Online retailer Competitive Cyclist says the bearings are made from "surgical grade stainless steel," which is essential if you ever need to smuggle it in a body cavity, and that they "provide an impervious barrier to the worst grit and grime of riding," which makes them ideal for hipsters on the Great Hipster Silk Route since they are usually pretty grimy.

Unfortunately, though, grimy people usually can't afford them, since even used Chris King headsets generally sell for pretty close to what new ones cost. This makes them probably the most conservative investment in the cycling world. Of course, if Chris King headsets start going cheap, you know we're all in trouble. Looking at the data above, you'll note that the average closing price for the six headsets that sold on eBay recently was $89.79, which means that the CKHCI is 89.79. (The CKHCI does not account for variables such as headset color, diameter, or threads or lack thereof, since these rarely affect a headset's cost in the used marketplace.) Generally, I don't grow alarmed or suspicious unless a Chris King headset trades below $70.

The PistaDex in New York City is at 475 right now, which is a bit low but not alarmingly so. And with the nationwide CKHCI hovering at around 90 I'm cautiously optimistic. Together, I sincerely hope we can get through this. So don't go throwing your ugly babies out with the bathwater quite yet.

$5000 a year ago for an alu Colnago? WTF? That's got to be the cycling equivalent of the 2007 Blackstone/Equity Office Properties Trust takeover. If its true (doubtful), what a numbnuts. No wonder there's no liquidity in the markets.

Spelling Nazi attack: susicious is not a word. Unless it is a hip new combination of "sussing out" and "suspicion" in which the susicious person suspiciously reconnoiters a location, probably an ex girlfriend's new place of residence.

If that has anything to do with running a churro cart on the Silk Road, count me out!

I have to make money somehow, with all these Phil Wood hubs I've been accumulating for the eventual Road-Warrioresque decline of our economy. I need to separate them from the headsets otherwise The Humungus will attack and all will be lost.

Except for why the property values are still dropping faster than (a) [fill in name of pro rider you wish to lampoon here], (b) acid at a Great Society concert, (c) new flat brimmed caps at trendy Billy Burg boutiques or (d) gerund ending "g"s at a Sarah Palin rally.

Now, excuse me. I have to go man a toll booth.

Anybody know how to make change for a Chris King headset?

(My therapist says all you really need is to want to change, but I'm not buying it.)

While the orthodox Jews of Brooklyn are a perplexing group, they follow in a long tradition of keeping neighborhoods nice enough to attract the next wave of gentrification. While the hipsters have invaded their haunts of Billyburg, on the left coast, the homosexual community has taken to adopting the former orthodox enclave of West Hollywood as their new (fabulous) ancestral homeland.

If ever there were strange bedfellows, it's flamboyant gays and orthodox jews. You will be sure to see both en masse when cruising Beverly and La Brea.

Man, tensions in NYC are turning that part of town into the Gaza strip, NYC. I can see what's coming: muffin top checkpoints and no-spandex zones. I'd worry about suicidal hipster terrorists, but it's hard to hide a bomb while wearing spandex, or buy a bomb after using up yer weed money.

I always wondered what idiot would invest in sub-prime mortgages, apparently, it's the same idiot that paid $5000 for a aluminum frame designed specifically for clown racing (pedals hold those big shoes). The damned thing doesn't even fit him, as he has enough stem height to even please Grant Petersen. Although these pages have shat on Cervelo owners (like me), I think the true uber-twat is the Colnago owner. Kind of like seeing a $460,000 Ferrari sitting traffic beside you in your rusty Geo, it screams: what's the fucking point?

Chris King parts are the gold bullion of cycling, when else fails, you head to Switzerland with a suitcase full of surgical-grade headsets, hence the need for surgical-grade bearings when you have to mule headsets in across customs and traffic in your ass. "First, you get de money...den..you get the headsets..denn..denn you get thee weemen."

The Obama bike appears to be photographed on the Williamsburg waterfront.

That douche blond hipster in the first photo is a recently evicted Greenpoint resident who is trying to get as much face time as possible. No accident he is in the background pretending to be uninterested.

"It's got," BSNYC? I'm really disappointed in you for that grammatical redundancy. Mind your "It's got" when doling out the punches and roll with the "It has" crew. No need to read like the plebe's from Bedsty sound.

aint never going to nyc the way you boys carry on i went me to nashville this week to go to the country music hall of fame and its right across from where they have the hockey games and they were getting ready to play one and it was cool to see all those merkins there they was beating the shit out of anyone who even looking fucking canadian and i bet they didnt have noone on the team with some stoopid forin name like alfreada fofonov or shit like that

Unlike other posts which are insulting to Russian speaking peoples post today is found with humor. I cycle along true slik route for practice. I never see the Jews fighting hipskis, but babushka tell me that it happened long before invention of the minivan. She said Obama not to allow violence to happen. Not to tell her but I think babushka is constipated.

BS! As mentioned before the Obama bike is not in red hook, the exact position is just down the block from the wonderful metal bar Duff's. Next time you're on kent, drop in for a brew, then take your bike down and recreate the pic.

Maybe the best way to disperse the hipsters is with Jews. Bring them from Israel in some sort of reverse birthright type deal, and have them send the cost of Williamsburg so far up that the trust funds run dry.

Do not think that Ernesto in his wildest nightmare would approve of those awful blue plastic coated biddons. Proving again that even the most beautiful piece of art can turn into trash in the right hands. But the give away that our fund strapped investment banker is in a world of trouble was that he has had to take in washing and hang it up to dry inside his hovel for subsistence

And as wikipedia states, the ancient Egyptians used the Silk Road for transporting goats and sheep, leave that up to you to decide who is who in NY.

I have never been able to make it through an entire opinionated cyclist video without stabbing myself in the eye with a sharp pencil, and tonight that streak is intact. Does he have somebody who pays him for each time he says "Bikesnob" in his post, or is that just a manifestation of his OCD?

The CKHCI is high due to the international market (unlike the pistadex), making it a true world-wide index! King headsets retail for $130 here in the States, but I've seen them for $225 in shops in Toronto (and that was with the dollar on par). So a $120 used headset north of the 49th ain't a bad deal. I bought one online for $90 in 1999, rode it for 8 years and listed it on eBay very honestly as an 8 year old headset. Sold it to a guy in Edmonton for $96 + shipping, so I made $6 on the deal - just like a precious metal.

If you need any idea what the Hipster Highway will be like, take a morning commute along Bedford Avenue starting at Myrtle going southward to South 2nd. Your experience in the bike lane will tell you all you need to know about biking around the Hasidum.

Yes, an R3 with Campy bits.Marx doesn't apply here, it's more like Orwell: "Some Canadians are more equal than others".

I also don't have the heart to tell Red Neckerson what the standard of living is in Canada relative to the US or the fact that Canada has more billionaires per capita. Even "Trailer Park Boys" had to build a fake trailer park for the show. Sad.

and sorry Trawler, Cervelo is no longer a Canadian company, it's Swiss as of last year and manufacturing is in China. Gerhard Vroomen is dutch, and White is from Venus. I doubt Vroomen-White design will even be in Toronto past this year. More bad news, Tim Hortons is owned by Wendy's. When it comes to business, no one quite sells out with the panache of a Canadian.

You don't really expect me to put my life in the hands of something made in Canada?...LOL, Canadian engineering...the Montreal Olympic Stadium, the Ford Windstar.

but I will add that when you are proudly in the saddle of that Chinese built R3, your life is not in your hands but in the person driving the Ford Windstar, drinking a Tim Ho's and yapping on their Blackberry (insert chuckle here).

I know, old post, but the poor i-banker sucking from the teat of unemployment was selling a Colnago Master Light frame, probably late 90s (obviously to support an unbridled starbucks habit). Actually a pretty nice, light, steel frame, albeit ugly.

This is so after the fact, but the platinum blonde man in the photo and the man with the assymetrical hair cut next to him are the lead singers and bassist (?) of Semi Precious Weapons. Ahahahaha, it is soooo freaking classic that they are in the midst of the hipster bike turf issue.

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Maybe the best way to disperse the hipsters is with Jews. Bring them from Israel in some sort of reverse birthright type deal, and have them send the cost of Williamsburg so far up that the trust funds run dry.Judi Bola

Judi BolaThat douche blond hipster in the first photo is a recently evicted Greenpoint resident who is trying to get as much face time as possible. No accident he is in the background pretending to be uninterested.

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep ridingJudi Bola

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!