#MeToo
*Trigger warning for Rape
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After quitting my job at the former law firm, I decided to focus exclusively on my national service job at the Legal Aid Scheme Ghana. I loved my job & it is the reason I still provide legal aid services (to African LGBT refugees in the UK & US now) to this day but I have so many sad memories related to it because I was continually raped by my boss Selasi.

The first time I was raped was in his office at GDA Laryea and Associates. It was so traumatic that I blocked out the date & details. Suppressing traumatic memories is a common phenomenon. My therapist helped me understand this. (https://news.northwestern.edu/…/traumatic-memories-hide-ret…) I do remember though that it occurred in January 2011. It was late in the afternoon that I remember very well. He found an excuse for us to pass by his office after work to pick up a book he said he needed for a case & then he would drop me at home as we lived relatively close to each other.

Selasi Kofi Fumey & Kuukuwa Andam

I was so naive at 25 years. I mean, I had had boyfriends & done been physically intimate with them but never actually had penetrative sex. I was still a virgin. He sat in a chair in the office and asked me to come close to him & rehearse the motion I was going to argue in court soon. Everything happened so fast that it still shocks me. Within mere minutes he had stood near me, pulled me into an embrace despite my protests & was kissing me.

I froze out of shock & kept pleading with him to stop but he wouldn’t listen. Within mere minutes he had pushed me onto the carpet of his floor & he was taking off my trousers. I felt too ashamed to scream for help. How was this going to look like and what was that going to do to my reputation? Eventually he succeeded & raped me.

I bled so much & remember him commenting that the way I was bleeding it seemed like I was a virgin but he felt I was ‘too naughty’ to be one & he actually laughed when he said that. Once everything was over, I sunk into depression, wore my clothes & he drove me home. In the car he kept talking about how much he loved me & we should date & he would take care of me (financially & otherwise). I was raised to be a good girl & so I blamed myself. In Ghana many girls are taught that once you enter a room alone with a man, anything that happens is your fault. I blamed myself for the rape. I decided that I was a bad girl so I might as well date him since the worst had happened already. Besides, as a young lawyer earning GHC 200 then (2010) I needed to survive.

So began a situation where Selasi would have sex with me whenever & wherever and I had to act like I liked it all the time or he would get upset. He would demand sex if I needed his help with a case & sulk & refuse to assist me if I refused. Sex with him was often rough. Sometimes it would be so painful that I would ask him to stop but he would say “I like it like this.” I would end get bruises & not be able to use the bathroom without intense pain. I got into the habit of buying vitamin e pills to break & pour (the oil in them) over the bruises I had in my private parts before bathing or using the bathroom.

During our relationship, Selasi raped me so many times. One One time in his house after which I wept so much & he told me ‘you’re making me feel bad with the way you’re crying ohh.’ So many times. I remember the hospital visits because of recurring infections, I remember the pregnancy scare when he told me he couldn’t have a child so we should consider an abortion. I turned out not to be pregnant afterall. I remember everything and so does he if he will be honest. But I doubt it.

And I kept being nice to him all through it. Pretending he was just a ‘mentor’ even years after it happened till a couple of years ago when I cut off all communication with him. He insisted I become friends with his wife & once told me that was his way of covering up everything that was happening so that no one would find out. I am not in Ghana & so cannot make a DOVVSU complaint in person but regardless of whether or not I will get a chance to pursue justice in this specific case, I have still chosen to forgive Selasi. I reached out to him recently via a message on FB.

All these years all I wanted to hear was ‘sorry & I won’t do it to someone else again but that never came. I DO NOT want or need a single pesewa of his money. I have my own now. I’m teaching at a world class university & just managed a highly reputable research for Canadian lawyers, I am not in need of his money. But a ‘sorry for how I hurt you’ would have been nice. All the anti-depressant pills I had to swallow, all the attempted suicides, all the shame, all the hatred for myself that I developed, I just wanted to hear ‘sorry’ but that never came & I have decided to forgive & let it go. I need to tell this story to speak my truth & also get the knowledge out so that maybe 50 years from now, young female lawyers will not have to suffer as much as I suffered”.

SCREENSHOTS…

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Samuel-Clement is a GhanaCelebrities.com Senior Staff Writer, a Controversialist, Staunch Minimalist, Bread & Butter Issues Advocate, Writer and a Nonconformist. I write about “EVERYTHING” including the “PDF” Gossips and the “Piss off” kind of Entertainment News. This year instead of GIFTS, I’m giving EVERYONE my “kick-ass” OPINIONS! GET EXCITED!