SAINT MAASTRICHT, European Union, Wednesday (UNN.eu) — The State Department has declared Germany part of the Axis of Evil, along with France and the rest of the EU except Britain and, of course, Poland, after Germany ordered the arrest of 13 suspected CIA agents over an alleged kidnapping and "extraordinary rendition." (Canada's application is still pending.)

"The festering evil deep in the German psyche has not been solved," said John Negroponte of the State Department of White House, Inc. "After all the work we put into rebuilding Germany, this is how they show their gratitude."

Of course you can trust me. I've never let you down before, after all. Well, apart from that.

President Bush started to lend his support, saying something about "strudel-eating surrender monkeys," but was quickly hushed up when his poll ratings were released.

Meanwhile, in Milano, Italy, 25 CIA agents and several Italians are accused of kidnapping a Muslim cleric in 2003 and having him tortured in Egypt.

Prosecutors in Munich said they were working with Italy on the case. "When a state has been taken over by an aggressive military dictatorship, even an elected one, it is up to the rest of the world to gather and deal with its abuses."

The UK government disagreed, Prime Minister Tony Blair noting the British "special relationship" with the US. "A British Prime Minister has returned from America bringing peace with honour. I believe it is peace in our time."