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Monday, January 19, 2009

The First …Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten Engineers and one Geologist. Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.

They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the Geologist said he would let go of the rope since Geologists are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.

When he finished his moving speech all the Engineers began to clap…

Moral: Never underestimate the powers of a Geologist.

The Second …A group of Engineers and a group of Geologists take a train to a conference. Each Engineer holds a ticket. But the entire group of Geologists has bought only one ticket. The Engineers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant Geologists will finally get what they deserve.

Suddenly one of the Geologists calls out: “The conductor is coming!” At once, all the Geologists jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Engineers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the Geologists slides the single ticket under the door and the conductor continues merrily on his round.

For the return trip the Engineers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the Geologists didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the Geologists announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the Engineers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

All the Geologists leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Geologist enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Engineers and says: “Ticket, please!”

And the moral of the story? Engineers like to use the methods of the Geologist, but they don’t really understand them.

The third …Once upon a time three Engineers were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. They desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first Engineer knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! “

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times. BUT: he was successful!

The second Engineer, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.

The third Engineer who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*The Lord converted the Engineer into a Geologist. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.

Note: these are old jokes, possibly originating in the military. One version, in which the engineers are the good guys, can be seen here.