THOSE TEETH!

Donald Trump has the most beautiful set of teeth we’ve ever seen. They may even be his own. They’re bright, white, even. We couldn’t take our eyes off them as he spoke Wednesday at the Coast Guard Academy.

While most Americans spend their days – and nights, too – dreaming of doing better, a raise in salary, sending children to college, worrying about their retirement funds, their next job, their FIRST job, the Donald’s dentist is racking in the chips keeping the new president glamorous, welcoming, shining.

The ivories were on wide display before Mr. Trump cried he was the most ill-used new president in the history of the Republic. Although never an historical scholar, he deserves this distinction.

There’s little point in listing the reasons why Mr. Trump is taking it on the chin from the press and a goodly (bigly?) portion of American voters. Suffice it to say he has earned it, assuming that being president was a task he could naturally do at the same time he commanded his international real estate empire, such as it is. How hard could it be?

Although one might think that in his early days he would be discovering an answer to that question, this is man who cannot learn. Anything, apparently. Even when presented with unanimous judgments and theories of policy, Mr. Trump still believes only he “can fix it.” In truth, only he can fix those things he has already fixed, i.e., the tenets of democracy in the United States of America to which he has devoted what spare time (and what a lot of it he must have!) to dismembement.

Life at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is not getting easier. The press refuses to cooperate and insists on keeping a daily score of missteps and misdeeds, gaffs, tantrums, ally-baiting, and Mr. Trump’s unique take on American history. Happily for him, his base is not eager to rectify error and fact. Which is how Mr. Trump has lasted this long!

Add to an adoring base a quiescent and weak, trembling, fearful House of Representatives – and, to be fair – much of the Senate as well – and we are pretty well able to draw up a list of “enablers,” apart from his own family who seem no more interested in the welfare of the US of A than their progenitor.

The big question of the day is an old one: “Why is this man smiling?”

The answer? Because until Wednesday evening, Mr. Trump was getting away with it all.

Robert Mueller’s arrival on the scene – even if he has to “report” to Trump and Sessions – is a masterstroke by a man on the edge of losing his own character and respectability. We don’t want to depend too heavily on Mr. Mueller. The Donald is a slippery character himself. And his “staff” is more than adept at finding loopholes and exceptions.

The one certain thing about Mr. Mueller’s presence is that this “investigation” is going to take one very long time – months if not more than a year. We don’t know whether there is any there there, and those who NOW bravely want to discuss impeachment are well advised to keep in mind that, if what Mr. Comey is reputed to have told the Donald is accurate, the Donald himself is not being scraped, dissected, and microscoped.

This could change, however, should Mueller’s team be able to unearth the president’s tax returns.

Or if the dismissed former head of the NSA really does have a story worth telling to Congress, with or without immunity.

Or if the information young Donald was so eager to share with his Russian counterparts turns out to be not only classified but inimical to the health and welfare of the country he swore to defend.

(And not to forget, where pray are the redoubtable Ivanka and her eternally silent husband?)

There are, alas, no briefs for Mueller’s crowd to look into conflict of interest charges among Trump’s cabinet.

We hate to disappoint the millions of Americans who on Wednesday evening felt better about the future of our nation under Mr. Trump’s presidency. On the other hand, we also don’t want to start to believe that everything from here on in is going to go smoothly, that we will be faced with fewer telegenic moments with Mr. Trump’s exquisite teeth.

Collectively we bought a pig in a poke. Keeping that poke clean and healthy and thriving is going to be a long and agonizing process. Mr. Trump’s dentist is the only American we know who benefits no matter what.