Okay, I'm old! Government poo test on way!

Recently turned 50. Today I got a letter from the government to tell me that an easy to use poo test is on its way to see if I have cancer of the bum. I appreciate the Government's concern, obviously, but how damn depressing!

Although it is not the most pleasant test to do there is a lot of evidenced based medicine that this form of screening saves lives. Depressing to be old, but more depressing to be old and having cancer.

Shockers I doubt an under 50 could access the screening programme. When the Government comes out with these programmes they look at the relative risks involved at each age and work out what is cost effective and what isn't. The risk of bowel cancer gets far higher with age so it probably is not cost effective doing in for younger people. Likewise with mammograms it is not cost effective routinely doing them in younger ladies because the risk is lower and the breast tissue is denser so the scans are far less reliable.Some people have a genetic tendency to bowel cancer. These people get intense screening from a young age.If anyone has concerns that they have CR cancer (blood in poo or change in bowel habit) they should see their GP who will fully investigate and refer to a specialist if they feel further tests are needed.Another problem with the poo testing is there are false +ves. The test is to look for blood in poo so if someone has eaten a lot of red meat you can get a false +ve in it.

Pipbin You don't put it into a pot. You catch a few bits separately each day, using a bit of plastic, and take a smear from each lump. Seal each smear into a little pouch and post the pouches back. It's not invasive and not intrusive and certainly not painful.

In my book, it's another plus point for the National Health Service. We should think ourselves lucky.

DH threw his away. 5 years later he is now minus most of his insides, completely "replumbed" and so radioactive that he glows in the dark. Truly, it is one of the most effective screening tests for bowel cancer which is almost completely curable if caught early. Much easier to scrape a bit of poo on a stick than it is to discover that one day, your bottom explodes and you discover you have Stage 4 bowel cancer.

I'm 47 and just got called up randomly by East Kent to go to the titty squashing portakabin next to Frankie & Benny's.It was ok, we listened to a bit of Vivaldi, did the business and off I went. Apparently, my chest is in very good shape with lots of 'granular tissue' left, whatevertheferk that is.I had a letter this morning to say all was well and they'd call me again when I was 50. How ridiculous, it's 1983 and me being 50 is like, well, in the next millennium, and we all know our VCRs are gonna take over the world long before that.If they send me a poo pot (now I've shown willing), I shall send it back full.

What I would say is that at least my DH is alive still. But it has been a very, very close call and I really wouldn't want anyone else to be told (twice) that they have a life expectancy of a very few months without drastic treatment. Not when there's a simple test that is so effective.

As I am way over 60 I have had to do several of these: they send them every two years, I think. Be warned, I have had problems at least twice so they send you another kit. That was clear, but just to be sure they send a further one! Well worth the effort, though.