Friday, June 16, 2017

We are not over with this election. I hope you can follow this. I couldn't.

Before...

On the 8th June, the first exit poll at 10.30 pm
said the Tories will have no overall majority. Labour will do well. The SNP
will lose 20 seats. Nobody believes that except Alan who gives me a 20 minute
discourse that exit polls are accurate because of the particular polling
stations used.

Before...

Every SNP seat lost 14-17% of their votes. One
candidategot in by 2 votes ( see
later). They lost both their parliamentarians. All the SNP MPs were either working in a chip
shop or teaching algebra two years ago.

Amber Rudd (Conservative) had three recounts for her
constituency, so we were nearly devoid of a home secretary.

Mr Fishfinger and
Lord Bucketheadreceive huge acclaim as
they made some sense.

Alex Salmond ( Ex SNP Leader, ) says we haven’t seen the
last of him and is ungracious in defeat.

Nick Clegg ( ex lib dem leader) loses seat and is very
gracious. ( I have been told he smells lovely)

9th JUneThe
country waits for the last result to come in, it’s Kensington – they have had
three recounts. Counters are too tired and they have a snooze. In the end it
went to Labour.

After

May in deep trouble. She refuses to resign, Boris Johnson says he’s not
interested in leadership. He’s a fibber

Number 20 ( where the PM lives) say that DUP have agreed to an
informal coalition. ( May is a few votes short of a majority so has to team up
with another party. The only right wing one that will dance is the DUP, more about
them later but they are NNP –not nice people)

Ruth Davison ( leader of the Scottish Tories) threatens to
pull outand take her 9 MPswith her. ( leaving May in the stookie
again).

Number 10 and the DUP both issue denials as if ashamed to be
seen out with each other.

Jeremy Corbyn is
askedto look at his numbers again….he
could form a ‘progressive alliance’ slightly on the left if May can’t get it
together.

After

10thPeople wake up to the DUP; Being from NI, they cannot do this without
being in danger of breaching the Good Friday Agreement. We get very twitchy
about the return of that kind of terrorism. The DUP are extreme Orange from a
very divided country that Corbyn and Mo Mowlam ( and many others) tried to
reunite, or at least, stopthe killing.

11th Labour membership goes up by 150 000 members.
Hurrah for Jeremy.

Scotland have wrecked May’s plans. We also wrecked
Sturgeon’s (SNP’s plans) as the power balance is now lying with the few Scots
Tories, not the SNP so Sturgeon is now irrelevant.

Before

Donald Trump says he still wants come over here to meet May.

The Queen says don’t bother, as does Corbyn. Scotland will
put the lights off and pretend we are all out.

It got too confusing by Monday todo this day by day…

I declare to be biased.I don’t really see the point of voting for people with an uncosted
manifesto when their entire reason for living is (in their eyes) independence
and (in my eyes) separation. The SNP cannot tell us what our currency will be
and what it will be worth so having a house and a business that deals in Sterling
you can see the problems of earning in Salmonds or Sturgeons.

I have heard from those at the
count that the SNP were slightly threatening as they realised their vote had
tumbled by 20% and the number of MPs dropped by 21.They still claimed victory.A good example would be the constituency of Fife
North East where the SNP got in by 2 votes.On the first two recounts it went to the Lib Dems and on the third
recount it went to the SNP and suddenly no more recounts were allowed so that
is now going to court.

After/during/both

Every single one of them said
that Jeremy Corbyn stole their manifesto, but that manifesto has been in Jeremy
Corbyn’s mind for at least fourteen years before our own MP was born and I know
that because I was at a rally in Trafalgar Square in 1983. ( and was arrested
with him but keep that quiet)

So all that happened with ten
days to go to the start of the Brexit negotiations.On Sunday Merkel hinted that she might have
to hang about until the Brits got their act together. I can imagine her playing
keepy uppy on a deserted football field (Soccer I mean!), and shouting up the
tunnel ‘Come out Theresa, when ever you have a team ready….’

There is the interesting aspect
that the biggest threat to the SNP at the moment is Nicola Sturgeon.Within two years she has gone from being the
most respected leader in British politics to having negative popularity and the
graph of that fall is interesting.It
didn’t happen at the time of the Brexit Referendum, it happened at the time of
her response to that Referendum which was to get a second independence referendum
back on the calendar.Bearing in mind we
said no less than a year before.

I hope you can all understand
that the woman in the polling booth now knows who we are when we walk in,
that’s how frequently we have been to the polls in the last few years.Sturgeon’s decision to call for IndyRef2,
although they absolutely deny it was on the cards now, was when her popularity
plummeted as it was seen to be opportunistic and independence at any cost.In the meantime Tracey Ullman made fun of
her. And it was cruel and funny.

At uni Sturgeon was known as
seaweed- as even the tide wouldn’t take her out.

So by the time we got to five pm
on Sunday Theresa was going for a hard Brexit, the government response was
unchanged, Jeremy was going for a soft Brexit and someone else was going for no
Brexit at all.Then Lord Buckethead
launched his manifesto. (hurrah)

Lord Buckethead shares the stage with Theresa May... and vice versa

Here’s a wee example of the twisted nature of
the SNP.They said that the amount of
women in parliament has fallen and that can only be bad for the country and bad
for womens’ rights.In reality what that
meant was there are more male SNP MPs in parliament than female SNP MPs.The overall figures for Westminster shows
that this is the most diverse House of Commons there has ever been.There is a higher number of women, a higher
number of lesbian and gay MPs and a higher number of ethnic minority MPs than
ever before. Ditto disabled MPs. And I think the country is very proud of that.

And May has to be very careful with
the DUP. I believe the DUP have gone on record as saying homosexuality is worse
than paedophilia. Ruth Davidson is gay and she will walk if she feels gat
rights are under any threat.

Then the Scottish football team
held the English football team to a draw managing to throw away victory in
three minutes of injury time. That was a great result for the Scots as the team
is..well… not very good.

The SNP claimed that the referee only
stopped the game once the English had equalised. ( I think that was a joke )

So now the Cabinet is doing a
sort of hokey cokey.Michael Gove is out
and in, Boris Johnson is pretending not to want to be the leader and Theresa
said she got us into this mess and is going to get us out and the internet has
got hold of a picture of Jeremy Corbyn’s son who is some sort of sex god.Give him a couple of years and he will be the
new Justin Trudeau.

On a serious note, many are very
uneasy about the breaking of the Good Friday Agreement if the British Government
really does start to hold hands with the DUP.