When Lovely Turns Ugly

Inside every one of us there’s a light that shines sparkles and fizzes.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, your weight, colour, race or IQ. We all have the ability to make someone else’s day magical.

I met a man today in the car park at Walmart. He was with a group of like minded souls and he wandered over to me to say hi as I was packing stuff into my car.

He smiled at me so I smiled back and he said “You’re pretty. My mamma told me to always be polite to ladies and you’re a pretty lady” I was charmed. I told him his mama could be very proud of him as he was a perfect gentleman and he was just beaming from ear to ear and kinda dancing from one foot to the other.

He was obviously thoroughly enjoying our conversation but I think he would have been hard pushed to be as delighted as I was! He was absolutely beaming, clasping his hands and unclasping then and just so proud of himself for being gentlemanly! He kept repeating himself so I was agreeing how nice it was to have good manners as I loaded the car.

As I was finished I told him it was lovely chatting and I hoped he had a super day.

In the meantime another woman had returned to her car with her shopping so he said hello to her. I think he was flushed with success from our conversation bless him! She turned on him like a ferret with distemper and said “Eff off Retard”

He was crushed. His little face dropped and honestly, I was absolutely incandescent with rage. I said extremely pointedly. “We’ve just been talking. My friend was showing me what beautiful manners he has” and I smiled at him. He smiled back as one of the carers came over to get him. I told him to enjoy his shopping and waved goodbye.

I turned back to rent-a-gob and asked, in a very interrogatory manner if she had kids. She said yes defiantly so I just looked at her and said “I hope no one ever treats your children as abusively as you just treated that other mothers son”

Her face dropped. She didn’t know how to reply and I didn’t give her a chance to. I got in my mean machine and buggered off. Did I behave in an exemplary way? Absolutely not. I wanted to humiliate her and I’m not very proud that I probably did.

I hope my little fella remembers the good of today and not the bad of it. It only takes a minute to be nice. I appreciate she could have been scared of a strange man talking to her but he was obviously with a group from a care home. He was just talking to me and there were a lot of people about. If she’d ignored him – I’d have understood that.. but not demeaning him.

I feel bad now because I wasn’t nice to her, retaliation isn’t the answer. I’ll try harder next time to handle things differently because it really doesn’t hurt to be nice – and you make more of an impression being kind that mean.

Help make people’s sparkle brighter, don’t douse it with gloom.

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Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod!
I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself!
I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish.
Blood group - certifiable.
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46 thoughts on “When Lovely Turns Ugly”

You did exactly the right thing. She deserved far worse to be said to her, but you gave her a different perspective on the situation and that’s a good thing. If she remembers what you said the next time she encounters someone special, hopefully she will treat him/her with the grace and respect that they deserve. I say well done…

Nice? In this day and age…sadly…that is a scarce commodity… people are so caught up in their own lives that they forget to be courteous…. either that or ppl just don’t give a shit anymore… with the way people are behaving in the world these days people are wary of even kindness…

You’ve got my backing on this.
I can be impatient sometimes with unnecessary chatter, but to be verbally abusive like she was for nothing is a whole different story. Thank you for making her stop and thinking. Maybe she will think twice before she does anything like that ever again. And that will be because of you.

That’s so sad, I feel so bad for that man. The worst part is, that’s probably not the first time something like this has happened to him. I think you did the right thing. It seems like people like that woman don’t see their wrongs unless they are called out like that and a little humiliation would do her good. Hopefully next time she will think twice before saying something so hurtful and rude 😦

Let’s hope your words made her think, unfortunately people like that seem to be ignorant to the feelings of no one but those within their own circle. Her actions could have such a detrimental impact on someone who sounds like he hasn’t got a mean bone in his body.
Appalling behaviour and you were justified in calling her out on it and defending that young man. It’s all about class darling!

That was not retaliation and you did right to say what you said to her.Most of people wouldn’t have done it as in these days everybody prefers to “ mind their business” or “ not get involved” .May be that woman won’t feel the shame and will do the exact same thing soon but may be she will think about it instead,under an other prospective.In any case she deserved what she got.
Great post

I think you behaved perfectly appropriately. Why should her feelings be spared if she doesn’t think that the feelings of others matter? I hope you shocked her into reevaluating her own behaviour. And I hope that she didn’t ruin that poor man’s day. I’d be absolutely tickled too if someone with only the best of intentions came up to me and told me I was pretty! Lucky You!

I think you handled the situation really well actually. While I agree that being nice is a strong option 99% of the time, there are occasional situations where being nice isn’t useful or deserved. How she responded to him was totally uncalled for. You held your composure and presented a very real comparison to her about her behavior. I think you deserve a pat on the back for a job well done.

I think standing up for the helpless is never wrong and maybe a little more restraint wouldn’t have hurt but the language she used doesn’t sound like someone that was frightened. All in all, you shouldn’t feel bad.

Good on you girl! You didn’t humiliate her as there was no one else present, unlike what she did to the ‘pure in heart’ darling. What you offered her was gentle correction. If no-one ever points out our errors we just go on making them. Hopefully she heeded it.

You were not being mean you were being honest…sometimes people need a reminder to put things into perspective…sure she may have felt some shame but nothing wrong with a little embarrassment to remind us to be decent human beings