Some new dates are up - November 8-10, I'll be at Stanford's Comedy Club in Kansas City. It's my first time at the club so all you evil pricks who email me to come to KC better show up and bring all your ugliest friends. James Inman is gonna MC so if you're within 1500 miles of the place it's worth the trip.

Also confirmed is Dante's in Portland of Friday, November 22nd. I absolutely love this venue. Dress up all trippy and do plenty of drugs - before and after. I swear some weird shit will go down.

I wish the sniper could have lasted through Halloween and taken out a few of the thousands of dildos who will be dressed up as Austin Powers. I'm in Minneapolis at Acme this week and tomorrow I'm telling the owner not to allow anyone dressed as Austin Powers in the show room, just to be an asshole. Anyone who would doesn't deserve comedy.

I'll put up a new update in a couple days.

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Fuck the Vikings.

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Someone emailed me this. I need to find the entire story.

Hey Doug. I agree wholeheartedly with your Sept. 11 views, and wanted to tip you off to a lovely little tale from the current edition of Atlantic Monthly. It's from an article by William Langewiesche; here's my favorite part:

(Writing about the recovery effort, Langewiesche notes that a field superintendent for the construction cleanup discovers the hulk of a fire truck 50 feet below street level. The superintendent, who, like many, has grown tired of the firefighters' superior attitude, delights in what he finds.) "

...after the hulk of the fire truck appeared, rather than containing bodies, its crew cab was filled with new pairs of jeans from The Gap, a Trade Center store...When a grappler pulled off the roof, the jeans were revealed for all to see...While a crowd of initially bewildered firemen looked on, the construction workers went wild. "Jeans! Look at these...Fucking guys! Jeans!" It was hard to avoid the conclusion that the looting had begun even before the first tower fell, and that while hundreds of doomed firemen had climbed through the wounded buildings, this particular crew had been engaged in something else entirely, without the slightest suspicion that the South Tower was about to hammer down. Of course this was not what the firemen wanted to hear. An angry fire chief tried to shut the construction workers up. He offered an explanation that the jeans (tagged, folded, stacked by size) had been blown into the crew cab by the force of the collapse. The field superintendent, seeming not to hear, asked the fire chief to repeat what he had said. When he did, the construction workers only jeered louder."