Forty days ago, I started posting on my blog again after having deleted the whole thing years ago. This was my Lenten sacrifice, because my inclination at this point in time is not to make public statements. A few people read the blog, and if they got anything out of it that is good. What I got out of it was a better picture of my own life and search for truth, so that is good too. I’m just writing this post from the heart to wrap up the forty days.

I was always a weirdo, probably due to high IQ. I was in the gifted class in elementary school, but I was even an outcast among those folks. However, it wasn’t until my brother was murdered when I was twelve years old in 1983 that I began to realize the extent to which the world at large was insane. This led to me being even more on the outskirts of society and linking up with other weird kids in high school. Also my observation that establishment Justice was a joke in my brother’s murder case made me more easily influenced by the leftist propaganda of my teachers, my friend who was raised by hippies, and later my professors at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

It was in Ann Arbor that I firmly rejected mainstream society. I worked for Greenpeace for about two weeks, until I saw that they had sold out as well. A few trips to the wealthy neighborhoods of Grosse Pointe to try to sell fake environmental concern to outrageously wealthy people was enough for me. It was the lady with the huge mansion and giant boat in her yard who honestly told me that she was up to her eyeballs in debt because of their fancy house and fancy yacht and couldn’t afford to give any money to Greenpeace, that finally got me to quit. She said she honestly would want to donate, but she had too many loan payments to be able to do so. I believed her.

I started to spend a lot of my time walking out of Ann Arbor to various parks to try to get to a place where I couldn’t hear the noise of the city. I had never lived in a city before. The only place where I could get away from the noise was sitting by the banks of the rushing Huron River, where the sound of the water drowned out the sound of the city. I knew that when I turned 21 I was getting a modest settlement from the insurance company of the people who sold beer to the underage attendees of the teenage drinking party that resulted in my brother’s murder. So I decided I would buy land with the money and move toward self-sufficiency, leaving society completely behind. For this reason, I moved to Missoula, Montana in 1990, stopping at a Rainbow Gathering in northern Minnesota on the way.

In Missoula, I got involved with the local Earth First! Group. At the time, the Earth First! Newspaper was headquartered in Missoula, so there was a lot of activity in the area. I also attended classes at the University of Montana. When the first Gulf War started in January 1991, I was involved in many anti-war protests. A government agent tried to entice me to join him to stage a sit-in to shut down the local bank, but I declined. I joined the Alliance for the Wild Rockies. I rode my bike to their annual meeting. I was dismayed to see the parking lot full of SUV’s. They were protesting drilling in the Badger Two Medicine area of the National Forest. I stood up at the meeting and suggested they could start by not driving SUVs. Dead silence. I didn’t fit in with that group either.

Missoula was surrounded by beautiful national forests, but suffered from horrible air pollution in the winter. Sulfur dioxide filled the air when inversions kept the warm air in the valley. Stage 1 air alerts meant that it was recommended that everyone stay indoors. I had come there to get back to nature not to be poisoned by heavy industry, so it was clear I couldn’t stay in the city. I looked at buying some land around there. I rode my bike all around the western side of the state. Once I rode my bike by myself from Missoula to Glacier National Park. I crossed the continental divide on my bicycle. A train was chugging up the tracks at the same time I was crossing. The engineer tooted his whistle and waved at me. He understood the effort of climbing the Continental Divide by pedal power. Going down the other side was really fun, down, down, down for many, many minutes.

I looked at land in Northern California as well, but got scared away by being bit by a rabid fox. I went along with the rabies injections and returned to Missoula to finish the series, so that I didn’t have to camp in my tent anymore.

Somehow I got the idea of looking for land in the Ozark mountains instead. I think it was because of the low property taxes. I went there on a Greyhound with my bicycle and a couple of suitcases. That adventure turned into a disaster and I went back to Michigan.

That was in 1992. Bill Clinton had just been elected. Because I was moving from Arkansas to Michigan, I didn’t get to vote at all. But I remember listening to Clinton’s inaugural speech from my bedroom at my parents’ house in Michigan. I actually believed him. I thought he was going to do great things. Lies, all lies, of course.

I got married. I had a child. We were still into planting our own food, etc., although my original goal of buying land got sidetracked. I decided to finish my teaching degree instead. Somewhere along the line there I must have gone back to thinking participating in regular society was worthwhile, but that didn’t last long. I wrote in an earlier post about why my husband and I moved to an “intentional community” in Arizona and got horribly duped. My first husband (the marriage was annulled, so I am not sure what to call him) is still in that cult, being led astray by a charlatan.

Back in Michigan in 2000, I was a single mom. I finally took the last few university classes, got my degree, and got a full time teaching job at the Muslim school. Many lessons were learned there about how much most Muslim Americans hate America.

Then 9/11/01 happened, and I was totally duped. I turned into a NeoCon. What an idiot I was.

I finally got some sense back in 2011, which I wrote about in my post about 911 Truth. Ten years of being a brain dead NeoCon zombie. Shoot. Well, at least I know where those people are coming from now.

I have pretty much come full circle. If only I had spent all of that time prepping for self-sufficiency like I originally intended. I started to think that there was little point in just surviving if the whole society has gone out the window. Now I think there is some point to that, if you can make it through to the other side when people are actually willing to face the truth and rebuild something new. So that is what I am doing now, I suppose. I will buckle down and start from where I am. I have learned many lessons in all of those side adventures, so hopefully they will be of some use. I might post more blogs in the future if something really needs to be said. For now, it’s time to plant some more rows of peas.

Since our government is now telling us they are bombing Syria to save the children from an evil dictator, it seems like an appropriate time to go back and review one of the times in history when our own government killed children for no good reason. Bill Clinton is still alive. He can be prosecuted for war crimes. As the 40 Days for Truth come to a close, it’s clear that the promise of President Trump is an empty promise. He’s not going to bring about real change. His campaign promise of America First was a lie. He’s putting time, energy and millions of dollars into bombing another country for no good reason. Nothing has changed. Apparently he’s not going to arrest Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Barack Hussein Obama, George W. Bush, George H. W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld or any of the other war criminals currently roaming free in the USA. Janet Reno is dead, so she’s presumedly already in Hell. At least she saved some taxpayer money on that one.

The government premise for the catastrophe at Waco on April 19, 1993, was seizing “illegal weapons”. We have a Second Amendment to the Constitution, so to begin with that was nonsense. Then to kill 82 people, including 25 children, in pursuit of this illegal siege was further ridiculousness. I don’t care what you think about Koresh or his beliefs. The government did not need to kill those innocent people.

What in the name of God is going on in the USA? I thought I had found some sane Patriots in our local pro-Trump group. But I was wrong. I thought they stood for something beyond just blindly following a man who claimed to be for Liberty, a.k.a. Donald Trump. When that man starts abandoning his America First promise, Patriots should abandon him as well. In our local group, only four people besides me are even questioning this bombing of Syria. So once again I’m virtually on my own. That’s fine. That’s how it’s been for decades.

Apparently most people have taken some kind a vaccination against truth. There are facts readily available to show that our government is completely corrupt and has been for decades. And yet few people seem to want to hold them accountable. In my smoke-filled room post, I pointed out how psychological studies show that only ten percent of people will raise a fuss in a smoke-filled room if everyone else is ignoring the obvious. The smoke currently filling our world is invisible, more like carbon monoxide then smoke from a wood fire. So apparently ten percent is too high of a number for an analogy of the current world situation. Even though the effects are obvious, the poisoning is still denied. Even though even a tiny amount of investigation will easily find the source of the carbon monoxide, we are still going to pretend that we live in a free country and that the US Constitution is still in effect. I’m just done. Let me know when people are interested in facing reality again. Meanwhile I suppose I have to let them continue in their dream. We don’t have a leader. We aren’t organized. We’re just a small sprinkling of people here and there who has somehow gotten out of The Matrix. I do know there are a few of you out there, so that does give me a tiny bit of comfort. God Help Us.

In 1999 I had to exercise an enormous feat of will in order to break free of an organization that was very systematically and effectively implementing the eight criteria for thought reform as detailed by Robert Lifton in his excellent book Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: A Study of “Brainwashing” in China. I do believe this experience has helped me to see the enormous deception currently being perpetuated by the media/industrial complex.

I had a good idea that I had to leave the place in 1999, but I wanted to make sure that it was my own decision. My mom took me on a trip to the Grand Canyon while she was visiting. I hiked halfway down the canyon by myself and sat on an isolated ledge. I was far away from other influences and people. I prayed to God to show me what to do. The cult leader had made it clear that if we had learned his teachings but chose to reject them, our soul would be extinguished. While praying in the Grand Canyon, I realized that this would not be a bad thing. I distinctly remember the message that came to me: “If Tony [cult leader’s name] is truly a leader and example to look up to in this universe, then I am better off having my soul extinguished.” In other words, I had to get to the point where I was willing to dispense with my own existence in pursuit of truth.

Most people don’t have a moment like that where they consciously choose to put the existence of their soul on the line. Looking back, I believe at that moment I took my soul back from Satan. But everything I had been told for years was pointing the opposite way, that I would be leaving God behind if I left there. Many Leftists are making the same choice today, whether they realize it or not. If they refuse to look beyond what they are being told by their SJW friends, if they refuse to pursue logic and truth, they have sold their souls to the devil.

Ironically it was while I was in that cult that I first registered as a Republican. Previously, such an idea would have been abhorrent to me. We were encouraged to get involved in local politics and in many parts of Arizona, only the Republican primary matters because only Republicans ever get elected. The local candidates often ran unopposed in the general election, and you had to register as a Republican to vote in the primary. Also, I voted for Dole in 1996, which was the first time I ever voted for a Republican in a Presidential election. It was really weird for me as an ex-hippie to do this. Supporting Donald Trump as a Republican is clearly the path that many liberty-lovers need to take today, if they truly are “liberals”. Unfortunately, too many cling to rhetoric and refuse to reexamine long held bigotry against Republicans.

Dr. Robert J. Lifton’s Eight Criteria for Thought Reform:

Milieu Control. This involves the control of information and communication both within the environment and, ultimately, within the individual, resulting in a significant degree of isolation from society at large.

Mystical Manipulation. There is manipulation of experiences that appear spontaneous but in fact were planned and orchestrated by the group or its leaders in order to demonstrate divine authority or spiritual advancement or some special gift or talent that will then allow the leader to reinterpret events, scripture, and experiences as he or she wishes.

Demand for Purity. The world is viewed as black and white and the members are constantly exhorted to conform to the ideology of the group and strive for perfection. The induction of guilt and/or shame is a powerful control device used here.

Confession. Sins, as defined by the group, are to be confessed either to a personal monitor or publicly to the group. There is no confidentiality; members’ “sins,” “attitudes,” and “faults” are discussed and exploited by the leaders.

Sacred Science. The group’s doctrine or ideology is considered to be the ultimate Truth, beyond all questioning or dispute. Truth is not to be found outside the group. The leader, as the spokesperson for God or for all humanity, is likewise above criticism.

Loading the Language. The group interprets or uses words and phrases in new ways so that often the outside world does not understand. This jargon consists of thought-terminating clichï¿½s, which serve to alter members’ thought processes to conform to the group’s way of thinking.

Doctrine over person. Member’s personal experiences are subordinated to the sacred science and any contrary experiences must be denied or reinterpreted to fit the ideology of the group.

Dispensing of existence. The group has the prerogative to decide who has the right to exist and who does not. This is usually not literal but means that those in the outside world are not saved, unenlightened, unconscious and they must be converted to the group’s ideology. If they do not join the group or are critical of the group, then they must be rejected by the members. Thus, the outside world loses all credibility. In conjunction, should any member leave the group, he or she must be rejected also. (Lifton, 1989)