DreamTweets: First Lady Michelle Obama

She has seized the reins of history. Her mere presence is a shining example of what could be. First Lady Michelle Obama stands as one glimmer of hope in a country on the brink of absolute moral bankruptcy, an unlikely yet perfectly qualified voice of the true American spirit.

Yes she does in fact wish a n____ would…

We, the people, look on in awe at First Lady Obama as she valiantly champions the progress of those among whom the odds are most certainly against. The poise with which she approaches every moment suggests to the downtrodden citizenry that she is a level above, a person with qualities the average American could never fully emulate.

However…as in most cases, we eventually learn that even the most iconic figures of history are just as human as we. Yes, they, too, have a favorite food, the song they have to play over and over, and ideal conditions under which to take an epic dump. Thanks to social media, the common man has gained access to the famous minds that inspire us. And with Twitter, never before have mundane happenings been such a unifying factor for the world.

Alas, some figures, such as our First Lady, have a responsibility not required of most tweet-liberal celebrities. Therefore, it would be naïve to expect her absolute candor in the digital space. Besides, she has better things to do than thumb away every waking moment that she’s not really experiencing.

But what if…what if in her wisdom and knowhow, her brain managed to hack itself and let Twitter know how the First Lady was really feeling. For those who have seen her in the unenviable position of exhausting her self-control around mentally ill old white men, Michelle Obama’s alter tweego could provide the catharsis that all of America’s oppressed and struggling need in a world that seems almost not worth the time.