Friday, December 3, 2010

Watching this first episode of Top Chef All Stars has been eye opening. If there were a dictionary in the Chef Containment Crib, the word humble would be cut out, rolled into a cigarette and smoked while having a glass of wine up on the outdoor patio. The words Arrogant, Superior, Egotistical, and Pompous would be enlarged to a font size of 24 and bolded. Of all the chefs, I would have never imagined that Dale Talde would be the humblest guy in the room. He stepped up like a man, admitted the butterscotch scallop dish he made that got him eliminated was horrendous and he deserved to go. Congratulations Dale, a little humble pie goes a long way here in the Kitchen.

That was the easy award to give out. Choosing the most full of themselves from the remaining chefs was a little more difficult. How can you not think of Fabio and his smoldering Italian outrage erupting to the point of inviting judge Anthony Bourdain to step out back in the alley to demonstrate his anger issues.

Sorry Fabio, my money would have been on Bourdain to show you just how bad your dish was in a distinctly American fashion.

Then there was Richard Blaise, self proclaimed winner of Season 3. With that thought burning brightly in his frontal lobe, he then decides that the rules are for everyone else and certainly not for the self proclaimed winner of Season 3.

Timers and rules are for Suckers! Of course it could have cost you the $10,000 prize for the challenge. Chump change, right?

However there is a reason why they have large double doors leading into the Top Chef Kitchen. They need plenty of clearance to allow Jennifer Carroll's head to wedge it's way through.

I was a huge fan of Jen during her season, I thought she was going to take the whole thing however she failed to crack the top three. That hasn't stopped her from talking a mighty big game.

"My season was the most intimidating because of me"

Backing up the talk with your cooking skills would help but when your duck in your duck dish goes MIA, intimidating you are not. So we award Jen Carroll our first ever "I Am The Shit" Award for outrageous pomposity.

A real necklace you can buy for yourself or a shitty loved one from Locher.

You'd think these folks were crack-smokin' rock stars the way they carry on. But you know what? Each and every one of them except ONE is going to lose AGAIN! And Anthony B. will remain, as always, the real shit.