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SECTION 4: TIPS FOR BOOMERS

Murphy Was a Midlifer

BY Mike Bellah
"If anything can go wrong, it will." You are acquainted with Murphy's Law.
You know by experience that the other line always moves faster at the grocery store,
that remodeling projects always take longer and cost more than you expect, and that
nothing is ever as easy as it looks. But did you know Professor Murphy also has laws
for the midlifer? He does. Following are some I have noticed.

On aging

Everything takes longer than you think, except growing old.

Some people age prematurely; the rest of us get old right on schedule.

Beauty is skin deep, but old goes clear to the bone.

On fitness

If you start jogging, your knees will go bad.

If you take up tennis, you'll get tennis elbow.

If you begin lap swimming, the chlorine will give you a rash.

If you opt for video games, you'll develop carpal tunnel syndrome.

On the empty nest

When you finally get your youngest child out of the house, the oldest will move back in with kids and a significant other.

When you help get this family a job and place of their own, your Uncle Burt will come for one of his extended visits.

When Burt leaves, there will be others.

If you change the locks, they will break in.

If you move, they will find you.

The empty nest is a myth.

On diet

If it tastes good, don't eat it; it's not healthy.

If it tastes like cardboard, eat all you want. It's good for you.

Try to build your meals around celery and carrot sticks with some alfalfa sprouts thrown in for taste.

On the midlife crisis

You will have to postpone your midlife crisis until your spouse finishes his or hers.

You will postpone it again while your children go through adolescence.

When you finally get time for a midlife crisis, you won't have the energy for it.

If you go ahead with it anyway, no one will notice.

On life expectancy

Midlifers are more likely than the younger population to die from heart disease.

Midlifers are more likely than the younger population to die from cancer.

Midlifers are more likely than the younger population to die from strokes.

Midlifers are less likely than the younger population to die from a crash at the Indy 500, a fall from Mt. Everest, or a riot at a rock concert.

So go ahead; live on the edge. The odds are with you!

Final words

Murphy was an optimist.

Murphy was a midlifer.

Murphy wrote during a midlife crisis.

For more information on this subject try: The Midlife's Moments.
by Mike Bellah - Midlife's Moments Web Site.
Write to Mike at :mike@bestyears.com

SECTION 5: PRESPECTIVES

The Nineties Mom
by Rita Kennen
Two women are talking, getting dressed after a workout at the
health club. Their daughters are around the same age, waiting for them
downstairs in day care.
"You know, Halloween was great, we did kid stuff all day, and I didn't
get burned out," said Nicole.
"I know, the party at preschool was so sweet, and the trick or treating
was so much fun this year," exclaimed Rita.
Nothing unusual here right? Not unless you knew that Nicole is 27, Rita
is 47. Both are moms of preschoolers and if you do the math you'd know
Rita is old enough to be Nicole's mom.
Motherhood in the nineties is crossing over all the old boundaries. Midlife
baby boomer mommies are sharing toddler tales with mothers young enough to
be their daughters.
Today's technology has made it possible for women to postpone having
children until way into their forties. Are we messing too much with mother
nature's plan, or just widening the variety of experiences that make a
motherhood a more attractive neighborhood to live in?
Most mothers rely on their support network of other moms. Age used to be
a common dominator. Find a group of kids the same age and most of the
mothers were close in age as well. It was rare to see a woman over forty
with a toddler at preschool.
Opportunities for personal growth on the parenting playground are
changing. The span for women's childbearing years is growing longer, and
women are playing and learning with mothers of all ages. The wisdom and
life experiences of the 47 year old sparkles when tempered with the fire of
youth..and 27 year old impatience mellows when alongside an experienced
touch.
The children are the winners here..they learn that moms come in all
sizes, colors and ages.
Rita Kennen is webmaster of Midlife Mommies http://www.midliemommies.com. A
site for baby boomer parents of young children. She is the midlife mother
to a four year old daughter.
=================rita@midlifemommies.com===========================
"God could not be everywhere, therefore he created mothers
Jewish proverb
Visit "Midlife Mommies" a site for friendship and support
http://www.midlifemommies.com