The Pleasure Principle

In bed with Bazaar

<p>The pleasure principle is not, normally, a blog about sex, which would be a narrow, unimaginative and some might even say smutty interpretation of my theme. However, Saint Valentine’s Day is approaching, and so lust is in the air. <br /><br />As the first snowdrops appear in her garden, a woman’s fancy turns to the purchase of new <a href="http://www.harpersbazaar.co.uk/fashion/ten-of-the-best/10-of-the-best-lingerie?click=main_sr#slide-1" target="_blank">lingerie</a> (like this one by Kiki de Montparnasse at Stylebop) guaranteed to set her husband or boyfriend salivating, secure in the knowledge that men, supremely simple creatures in this regard, are reliably knocked sideways by a suspender belt. For full impact, go commando-style. <br /><br />Sex toys, or so I’ve been told, now litter the bedrooms of middle-aged, middle-class ladies everywhere, but you need never fear discovery by your cleaning lady again if you choose one made by <a href="http://www.jimmyjane.com/index.php?gclid=CL6294K3prUCFUXHtAodcX0ANA" target="_blank">jimmyjane.com</a>. Their quiet but powerful vibrators and accessories come in matte rubber, abstract shapes and tasteful colours like graphite, black and aubergine. You may never work out quite what to do with them, but they can be left by the side of the bed without shame. Jimmy Jane’s latest invention is called Hello Touch and can be used toute seule, or with a partner. Turn him into a sexy (or maybe slightly sinister) cyborg with a pair of vibrating pads that he wears on the ends of his fingers for some interesting new sensations. <br /><br />Of course, sex isn’t just for Valentine’s Day; in fact the over-the-topness of our annual festival of erotica is no compensation, in my view, for the shabby neglect of our sex lives the rest of the year. If you’re too tired for sex, or have got out of the habit, or have settled for someone you don’t find desirable, consider this. Sex is what makes it possible for a man and women to live under the same roof without killing each other; it’s how couples rebuild intimacy, in a secret garden to which only they have the key. And it’s good for women’s health; scientists have discovered the amazing fact that semen contains mood-altering chemicals which lift depression. Humans need sex as much as they need food and shelter. <br /><br />And actually, expensive underwear, rubber sex toys, books you’d be embarrassed to read on the Tube and the encouragement supplied by endless advertising hoardings featuring the buffed and bronzed are surplus to requirements.<br /><br />Simply follow the advice offered by my heroine Helen Mirren in a Sunday supplement of my teenage years (it’s stayed with me ever since) and make time for sex by setting the alarm half an hour early. It’s a lot more fun than going for a run. <br /><br /><br /></p><br /><p><em>Written by Laura Tennant </em></p>

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