Saints of the Year: 2008

Saints Simon and Jude

Saint of the Year: 2007

Saint Charbel Makhlouf

Prayer for the intercession of St. Isidore of Seville, Patron Saint of the Internet

Almighty and eternal God, who created us in Thine image and bade us to seek after all this is good, true, and beautiful, especially in the divine person of Thy only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, grant we beseech Thee that, through the intercession of Saint Isidore, bishop and doctor, during our journeys through the internet we will direct our hands and eyes only to that which is pleasing to Thee and treat with charity and patience all those souls whom we encounter. Through Christ our Lord. AmenFr. John T. Zuhlsdorf

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Monday, October 01, 2007

Haven't blogged much lately

I'm sorry for not blogging much for quite some time now. I've been sort of down and out lately. I know it sounds cliche but "dark night of the soul" is what I keep thinking of when trying to describe the last couple of months, in particular the last few weeks.

I've found myself questioning my faith a lot recently. I also noticed that I seemed to be "going through the motions" as Mass while wondering how much longer until it was over. I've also been asking the question a lot lately of if my faith was centered on God or on the Church. Was it the fullness of worship of our Lord or the aesthetic appeal of the Church that drew me into the Catholic Church? I think in a way it was the aesthetic appeal of the Church that sparked my attention and that as I learned more it was the fullness of worship that drew me in. But somehow along the way I've managed to get caught up in all the talk about liturgy (old vs. new), music, liturgical abuses, etc. and lost sight of my real reason for being Catholic.

I've also struggled a lot with temptations lately. I think all of this is related somehow. As I've moved farther away from the real reason for being in the Church I've drawn closer to temptation. There have been several times over the last few weeks and when I've just wanted to give up; to leave the Church and give in to the temptations of this world.

However, I know that this really isn't an option. I also know that the only way to get back on the right track is through meditation and prayer. However, my will is weak. I know what to do, yet still don't do it.

I'm not one to usually make these kind of appeals but pray for me friends as I seek to rekindle a faith grown not yet cold but diminished in its warmth.

10 comments:

a few seemingly random clicks and i am here. to read your challenges, to read your request for prayer.I was at mass on father's day crying and a young guy comes up to me and says "I don't know who you are or what you are going through but I am praying for you and you are loved"Today I say that to you. He gave my a hug, smiled and walked away. Consider this a blog hug. Keep the faith. Keep reaching out. We are all the same.

two more things...as a convert it took me almost 20 years to start praying the Rosary and go to Eucharistic Adoration. No one could have convinced me of the benefits but I know now they are real and powerful. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your heart to a deeper journey of faith.God's Blessings

I too have "randomly" found this post of yours. An extremely wise spiritual director of mine told me that dryness (the feeling of the absense of God) comes when God wants us to move from how we have known him up til now to a newer deeper way of knowing him. Dryness is prelude to something new. It is often a kind of death and resurrection.

This may be a duplicate as my first comment was lost when I tried to preview. I'll try to repeat first message.

I will pray for you and ask your prayers for me. I too am in a dry period since my mom died on December 26, 2006. Outwardly I am being fruitful, having recently published a new website and new blog. Inwardly I seem to be looking at God with my eyes closed or sideways. (This reminds me of my Maltese dogs who look away from me or look sideways when I look directly into their eyes.) I believe these things happen for a season, for the Lord's purposes, and that he surrounds us with his love, although we are not aware of his presence, and he suffers along with us for our sorrows and human frailties. As to getting caught up in talk about liturgy, abuses and so on, this reminds me of Saint Francis who suffered greatly as his Order grew and there was more and more dissension and selfishness. The Lord reminded him that the Order belonged to him, not Francis. A little like saying, "Let go and let God." There is a beautiful and inspiring little book about St. Francis, The Journey and the Dream, by Murray Bodo, which is full of poetic and reflection wisdom. Peace and All Good, Little Scribe, SFO

About Me

"We learn, and we strive and pray to understand more and more of God's plan; and more than understanding it, to love it and to live it, especially when we don't understand it. And to realize that even when we think we understand, what we understand is only the surface of the deeper mystery. But to sense that God loves us, and never to doubt this, that is important." - Francis Cardinal Arinze