Growing Out Of The Wounded Child Archetype

Do you get frustrated when you want to accomplish something but life demands more patience and effort than you anticipated? Or perhaps you get overwhelmed if things don’t go as planned, or you find obstacles and challenges, or people don’t behave the way you expect? Intellectually, you know everything is a process; it takes time and perseverance to learn something, build a relationship, or reach an agreement or a goal.

Emotionally, however, it’s a whole different story, because your wounded child archetype usually takes over. You want things now, if not yesterday, and whether you’re aware of it or not, you presume that the Universe should revolve around you. Why isn’t life happening the way you need it to? Why don’t people behave the exact way you want? Why can’t everyone see how smart, how right or how special you are?

Well, you’re not alone. Just look around you, observe the state of this world, and you’ll see that everyone is self-centered, expecting others to behave according to their needs and beliefs. You want life to go your way and you get upset when it doesn’t, which is likely to happen, and often, because life is constant change and flow, and it rarely matches the (fixed) expectations of the mind.

The world at large is stuck in the wounded child archetype, and most people are either in temper tantrum mode or trapped in a victim-blame dynamic, reinforced by a trail of disappointments and regrets. In truth, this archetype is your ego, and everything in this world is about ego. The paradox here is that if you want to accomplish your dreams and goals, you have to heal the wounded inner child to strengthen your sense of self, but if you want true happiness and fulfillment, then you must surrender even your sense of self to the spiritual forces within.

In other words, before you can be spiritually free you have to mature emotionally by healing your past—the childhood that both reflected and reactivated wounds from previous lifetimes. Your soul chooses where, how, and when to reincarnate in a divinely synchronistic manner, to help you burn past karma with other souls (family and close relationships), reawaken the issues you left unresolved (by absorbing the conditioning and unconscious beliefs of your environment), and learn through the experiences and events that become landmarks in your life’s road map.

It doesn’t mean that everything is pre-ordained, but there are soul-set guidelines to help you evolve along your individualized journey. These are the things you have no control over. You still have to make the effort to grow, however, first emotionally and then also spiritually, since your response to situations and people will either free you up from or bind you to more karmic dynamics.

Emotional Freedom Or Spiritual Freedom?

Your emotional growth is a process of individuation that takes you from the magic thinking of childhood to the worldly responsibilities of adulthood; from family group dynamics to the individual choices you must make in accordance to your personal experiences; and from a codependent perception of yourself to the independence and self-reliance emotional freedom demands.

Your spiritual growth follows a parallel but somewhat opposite path, because although it is perceived by the mind, it happens on a higher layer of the soul that transcends the mind. In other words, healing on an emotional level means nurturing the wounded inner child with self-love and compassion, but healing on a deeper, spiritual level means completely de-identifying with any archetype or self-image and reclaiming your divine, ego-free nature.

One process is about strengthening your sense of self, which is still ego, while the other is about dissolving ego. Because no matter how strong your sense of self, or how self-confident and accomplished you may be, where there is ego there is suffering. The happiness, love, peace, and abundance you yearn for belong to the Divine Consciousness you are a spark of; and ego is what separates you from the divine nature of your soul, with ongoing desires, attachments, fears, and illusions.

To put it simply, anything outside the core of your soul, which is Pure Consciousness, is suffering. This is why you can spend 20 years in therapy trying to heal the inner child, rehashing the past and processing how you feel with rational explanations, and still be miserable, frustrated, triggered, or overwhelmed. You can read all the self-help books and attend all the workshops out there to shift your perspective and self-empower, but you’re still working within the parameters of the ego-mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these things aren’t valuable. Anything that helps you change your viewpoint can also help you grow out of the wounded child archetype that keeps you trapped in past emotional states. But if you want to experience true happiness and contentment, at some point you must stretch beyond the mind—the realm of ego—and take full spiritual responsibility for your journey. Here are a few pointers for you:

Accept that nobody but yourself, with your (distorted) perception of life, has created your suffering.

Question your thoughts, beliefs, and current perception, to discover new possibilities.

Develop humility, emotional honesty and mental discipline to surrender the ego-mind to the spiritual forces within.

Spiritual healing entails a step-by-step process of self-awareness and detachment from egoic identifications, but I can assure you that there’s nothing more rewarding than experiencing the infinite love and grace that permeates you and your life, no matter what your circumstances. Contact me today if you’re ready to step out of the wounded child archetype and into a higher perception of yourself!