"We have been nice girls long enough. We’ve made our cholent…we should take to the streets." - Blu Greenberg

Thursday, May 23, 2013

One of Those Girls

It was just a regular chat in
Gmail with one of my best friends, talking about whatever random stuff we
always talk about. Teachers. Schoolwork. Gossip. The usual suspects. That’s
when she told me that she had an eating disorder for four years, during three
of which I counted her as part of my close inner circle of friends.

I was floored. Of the many girls
at my school who I could imagine developing an eating disorder, this friend was
among the last on the list. She was never one of those girls. You know who
I mean when I say those girls. Those girls buy an overpriced
salad for lunch and only nibble on some lettuce before throwing it out. Those
girls have a calorie-counting app on their iPhone. Those girls stare disapprovingly
at their perfectly normal-looking bodies in the bathroom mirror at school. But
this friend of mine wasn’t ever one of those girls. As a result, I was
completely taken by surprise when she confided in me.

Based on my experience at an
Orthodox girls’ high school intended for overachievers, it feels like body
dissatisfaction and excessive dieting and exercise are ubiquitous among my
peers. However, it’s difficult to ascertain if rates of eating disorders are indeed
higher within the Jewish community than they are for the general public. Only a
small number of studies have been done on this issue, and those scant few have
yielded extremely inconsistent responses.

One study comparing Jewish and
non-Jewish girls in a Toronto
public school found that 25% of the Jewish girls suffered from disordered
eating, while 18% of the non-Jewish girls did. In contrast, an Israeli study
surveying Jewish public school girls found that they suffer from the same
amount of body dissatisfaction as girls in Western countries; another study
posited that the amount of diagnosed eating disorders among teenage Jewish
Israeli girls are comparable to Western rates.

The prevalence of eating
disorders among the Orthodox community is just as disputed. One unpublished
study found that the amount of eating disorders and body dissatisfaction among
non-Orthodox Jewish college women is significantly higher than those for
Orthodox Jews. These findings are contradicted by a different unpublished study
conducted at an Orthodox girls’ high school in New York, which found that 1 in
every 19 girls had an eating disorder. (The national average was 1 in 50 at the
time of the study.) Until more reliable data becomes available, it’s a toss up
as to which studies portray reality.

Those specialists who believe
that eating disorders are just as or more common among Orthodox girls and women
than the general public have tried to explain the phenomenon. Many blame the strong
weight that the Jewish religion and culture place on food. Strict regulations
on what is and is not kosher, washing before bread, and saying brachot before
and after eating are just a few rituals centered around the mechanics of having
a meal or snack. Once we begin to consider that the weekly Shabbat (Sabbath) meal is akin
to a Food Network Thanksgiving and every Jewish holiday (save for fasts) has a
specific food or meal associated with it, it’s easy to see that food has a
unique connection to Orthodox life.

Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser, an expert
on eating disorders within the Orthodox community, strongly disagrees with the
claim that Judaism’s emphasis on food breeds anorexia. “Regulations on food
intake do not lead to disorders. They’re just like a nutritionist or dietician
who suggests your menu,” Rabbi Goldwasser said. “The fact that there’s an
emphasis on food [in Judaism] - it only creates a challenge for someone who
already has an eating disorder.”

Rabbi Goldwasser also believes
that the rates of eating disorders among Orthodox girls and women are no higher
than those of any other minority group. “[Orthodox Judaism] has the same
challenges as other religions that also have feasts and fasts….Does sacramental
wine make Catholics alcoholic? No. But an alcoholic Catholic may be challenged
by the presence of sacramental wine.”

I very much agree with Rabbi
Goldwasser’s hypothesis. Anorexia is rarely about food; it’s about body image,
conformity to the social ideal, and maintaining control. While the ubiquity of
food in Jewish ritual and culture may make it more difficult for Orthodox girls
and women suffering from eating disorders, I don’t believe that it’s a factor
that triggers anorexia and bulimia.

There are innumerable other
factors that play a part in the development of eating disorders among Orthodox
girls and women. As Jews, we must follow the imperative of kol Yisrael
arevim zeh la’zeh - we are responsible for one another. We are religiously
obligated to help our sisters with eating disorders, and ensure that they are
fully integrated into Orthodox society. If we don’t, who will?

2 comments:

You forgot to mention one major detail, and that's the emphasis on weight--or, preferably, the lack thereof--in shidduchim/match-making. I'm a non-Orthodox Jew, and even *I've* read about the preference for young ladies who are a size 2. Size 2???!!! Even on my wedding day over 35 years ago, when my tummy was still flat and my hips narrow enough that I could wear just about anything, I was a size 8. How can a bias against women of normal weight *not* factor into a decision, conscious or unconscious, to starve oneself?

About Me

Prayer for Agunot

Creator of heaven and earth, may it be Your will to free the captive wives of Israel when love and sanctity have fled the home, but their husbands bind them in the tatters of their ketubot. Remove the bitter burden from these agunot and soften the hearts of their misguided captors. Liberate Your faithful daughters from their anguish. Enable them to establish new homes and raise up children in peace.

Grant wisdom to the judges of Israel; teach them to recognize oppression and rule against it. Infuse our rabbis with the courage to use their power for good alone.