As Sarah Palin pointed out in a speech at the weekend, John McCain's history of military service equips him ideally to address the current economic meltdown, because it shows he's a fighter, ready to engage in hand-to-hand combat with investment bankers and US Treasury secretary 'Hank' Paulson, if that's what's required, which it won't be, but let's not dwell on that for the moment. But now the McCain campaign has a whole new set of potential character-based arguments in their candidate's favour, thanks to the Brazilian former beauty queen Maria Gracinda Teixeira de Jesus, who tells a newspaper that the young McCain was "tasty, loving and romantic" and "good at everything" in bed — so good, in fact, that Ms Teixeira de Jesus, now 77, had to "purchase a book which taught me how to kiss to keep up with him." She recalls: "He was a lovely person and loved to go out with me. I called him 'John' but he was my dear and my coconut dessert." Indeed! Anyway, it surely can't be long before the campaign finds a way to capitalise on this news, which demonstrates that McCain is not just a fighter but also a lover — a man who, if all else fails, will simply romance the Dow Industrials Index back to new heights of intensity. According to unconfirmed reports, campaign manager Rick Davis is even now working on a press release based on some horrific Carry-On-style joke involving the phrase "stimulus package". [New York Daily News]