AS FEATURED IN THE CAYMANIAN COMPASS, THE CAYMAN OBSERVER, CITN- CAYMAN 27, AND CNN'S GLENN BECK SHOW.
Some satire, some political and social commentary and some fact... but all basically BS.
Read, enjoy, comment and tip until it feels good.
It's all fun - and it's all in the name of freedom of peaceful information.
Regardless - READ THE RULES OF THE SITE PLEASE.

May 05, 2009

Just days away from the election and a certain “newspaper” is wondering where the candidates’ manifestos are, actually asking if it was the paper’s responsibility to actually seek out the candidates and the parties to get them, or just sit back and wait for them to be hand-delivered to their offices.

Hey Desmond – do you want the candidates to write the story, edit it, lay it out and publish it too?

Of course it’s the paper’s responsibility to seek out the information and report that information to the public. Are you kidding me?

I love this quote from the Not News’ editorial today:

Perish the thought that any of the candidates or parties should deliver copies of their manifestos to local media for reference purposes. Presumably that never occurred to any of them. No doubt it’s looked upon as our responsibility to seek out what each candidate stands for rather than the other way around.

No, Dismal. Perish the thought that instead of complaining about something you actually did something about it. That not being the case here, I can say that apparently there is some doubt (at least in your small mind) as to what exactly your “responsibility” is regarding reporting this or any news.

In the absence of any motivation by candidates to do anything other than post their ideas on a public and easily accessible website – to which you, I and everyone in the world has unabated access – it is indeed your job to go get it. Your only alternative is to keep doing what you’re doing which is pissing and moaning because someone isn’t living up to your expectations and doing your job for you.

You see? This is part of the problem. People in positions of power or authority in Cayman seem all to willing to point the finger and blame someone else for not doing something without any consideration as to actually standing up and taking responsibility to do the job themselves.

While Dismal seems peeved that he and his staff might have to do something other than sit on their collective asses and wait for information to come to them (a la GIS), he shows yet again that he doesn’t get this very point. And he doesn’t get the simple concept of what it means to be a journalist nor does he get the concept of what this election means with regards to mission statements, position papers and manifestos.

I’ll put it as simply as I can. It means absolutely nothing.

Dismal is upset because candidates have not delivered to him a bunch of useless and meaningless propaganda. The news isn’t why there are no manifestos being delivered to the press – the news is why there are no manifestos that map out a clear and concise plan of action.

The Not News seems to stumble across this concept only to abandon it in favour of pointing the finger at the Tribunal as a potential cause for voters voting without the benefit of knowing exactly what each candidate stands for – and more importantly how they plan to back it up. Again - pointing the finger of blame in the opposite direction.

But instead of promising voters that he will take some initiative and fulfill his obligation as a journalist and go after the candidates in order to seek out the information with all the vim and vigour he uses to berate them, he chooses instead to show his true colours and head to his corner to pout and cry like the spoiled little baby he is.

Pay attention here everyone.

This election isn’t about concepts. This election is simply another popularity contest between the reds and the blues and it’s becoming more and more apparent that all candidates are taking a page from the recent US presidential election campaign concept of “Change You Can Believe In.”

And just like the US, the “change you can believe in” is still just “change you want to believe in and hopefully you do, because if you believe in it enough you might just overlook the reality that we have no idea as to how to actually bring about change.” Suckers…

So here we are – less than two weeks away from an election and no one knows what’s going on; and you have a member of the press complaining that no one has dropped off manifestos that by his own admission are meaningless and do not give Cayman voters a clear idea of “how” any sort of change or reform will take place.

And instead of putting a microphone in each candidate’s face and asking them “How?” Dismal chooses instead to sit back and wait for this information to mystically find its way to his office. Am I the only who sees the absolute idiocy of this?!

I’m thoroughly convinced that if Desmond’s house caught fire he would put down the garden hose, pick up his camera, expect his neighbors to call the fire brigade, and then blame everyone but himself for the fact that his house was destroyed. Proving yet again that Dismal was, is and always will be nothing more than a significant part of all that is wrong with Cayman.

So voters, here’s the deal. It is up to YOU to demand this information. It is up to YOU to rise up in righteous indignation and get what is owed you because no one will do it for you; especially not Dismal and the Not News staff.

April 30, 2009

A lot of people send me a lot of emails telling me a lot of things… and they say nothing at all. Kind of like political candidates.

The one thing that nearly every politician does is colour their campaigns with broad and muted generalizations. “We need to do this… We must do that… What needs to happen…”

Politicians are talking about the youth and pensions and health schemes and reform but they aren’t saying anything. This election has the potential to again be nothing more than ousting current politicians who do very little and replacing them with politicians who are entirely incapable of bringing their generalizations to life.

The West Bay politicians speak about building civic centres, revitalizing communities, creating a solid family foundation, involving youth in the community… but they don’t say how they’re going to do it.

Does Cayman need pension reform? Sure. But how do you intend to reform it? More investment options? Self-directing contributions? Stricter enforcement of current laws to ensure employees are complying with the law? Show me your reform plan.

Does Cayman need health insurance reform? How do you plan to reform the health system? Scrap CINICO and go to a fully-privatised system? Get rid of the government health plans that limit choices, benefits and competition? Make the HSA a fully-functioning centre of medical excellence? Making civil servants pay their fair share instead of continuing to milk a dry cow?

It was said that there are a lot of things in the labour law that people see as unjust and that could be resolved which begs the questions – What things? What injustices? Are these injustices real or perceived? How would you plan on solving them? How long do you think it will take? Do you have a plan? Is this plan viable/affordable?

One politician advocates building a juvenile detention centre AND making it compulsory for troubled juveniles to join the cadet corps. Do they join the cadets before or after they get out of the detention centre? If the cadet corps takes discipline problems – why build a detention centre? Will this create a mindset of ‘if I get in trouble I won’t go to prison – I’ll go into the cadets.’? How much will the detention centre cost? How much more money will it cost to fund the cadets?

People speak of engaging the youth and involving youngsters more deeply in Caymanian culture but the best plan they can come up with is to build detention centres, put them in the cadets or – my favourite - invite them to a political rally. Genius.

The most significant comment made was when Rolston Anglin said that the country could not afford to build a civic centre. Proof of that is the government can’t even afford to keep on-hand potentially life-saving medications or medical professionals. Hey – there’s an area for reform. Work out a plan to generate revenue to fund those two areas. I’ve already given you a very basic idea of how yesterday.

Think about a few things when the politicians are spewing their self-serving rhetoric and bandying about words like “change” and “reform” as answers to why things in Cayman are the way they are.

People don’t leave the island for health care because they want to – they leave because they have to.

People don’t go without social programmes because there is no money – people go without because the money that is there isn’t being spent properly.

Kids aren’t bad because they’re born that way, they’re bad because they’re bored because they are not engaged in any meaningful activities; and when they look to their government “leaders” for guidance all they get is political grandstanding, finger-pointing, immature squabbling and broken promises.

And people don’t go jobless because there are no jobs or because of the labour law. They go jobless because there is no innovation.

Most all political campaigns are nothing more than oxymoronic exercises in who can convince the most people that the other person is wrong. And when politicians speak of “change” they don’t mean actual change they mean a different way of not getting the things done that we need done.

It’s a tough world and Cayman needs tough leadership. People don’t need to be inspired by words; they need to be motivated by results.

People don’t need to hear that things aren’t alright because someone hasn’t done something; they need to hear things will be made right because the leaders will make it right without exception or excuse.

And people don’t need to hear about how things need to be reformed or how things need to be changed; they need to be shown that change and reform are possible by those strong enough to create an environment that is accepting of change instead of maintaining one that is resistant to it.

If you open your wallet and pull out a bill you’ll see a face on it. That face is meaningless and inconsequential. It’s artwork that serves no other purpose than to adorn the bill and fill in space.

The face on the currency isn’t what gives it its value, it’s knowing that the currency is backed by a promise of the government sworn to honour that note. You can promise someone $100 or you can give them $100 – it’s about time Cayman leaders stopped simply taking up space and making promises and started honouring the ones they’ve made.

Cayman doesn’t need politicians – Cayman needs leaders. And until a leader emerges no one should be surprised if the change they vote for this election ends up looking like the change they voted for in the last election.

April 29, 2009

In the latest "you've got to be f--king kidding me" move, the Cayman Islands Government said they are unable to stockpile Tamiflu because it's just too expensive to keep on-hand a drug they may never use.

What does this mean, really? This means that the government honestly doesn't care enough about the people of Cayman to be prepared for the unlikely epidemic that may or may not hit Cayman.

I gotta tell ya, this is absoultely ridiculous. Actually telling your citizenry that you can't be bothered to look after their well-being is proof positive that the Cayman Islands government cares not one bit about the health and welfare of its resdients and visitors.

Let's look at a few other things that are "too expensive" for the government:

You would think that the government would get tired of talking out of both sides of their collective mouths, but apparently not. And you would think that initiating basic preventive measures against a potential outbreak of a condition that the HSA is incapable of handling on a mass basis would be a priority.

But there is good news. If a patient presents with flu-like symptoms lab work can be sent off to Trinidad for analysis while the patient languishes in a hospital that may or may not be treating the right condition - with insurance that may or may not provide them adequate financial guaranty for their condition.

This is yet another symptom of a deep-seeded problem with Cayman. The government, at the end of the day, just doesn't care. Why?

Simple. They know if a person is in bad enough shape they can ship them off to the US for care and let the patient and the US government worry about payment. So they don't have to care!

The Cayman Islands does, in fact, have the best healthcare "scheme" in the western hemisphere. They have a majority of the population paying for health care that does little or nothing for them; if the patient gets in trouble the government loans them money after holding homes as security; and at the end of it all the patient receives superior care outside the Cayman Islands and often leaves the US facility or US Medicare system holding the financial bag.

So why should Cayman care enough to stockpile a drug that could possibly stave off an outbreak of swine flu? Because it costs $650,000 and lasts four years.

Simple math tells us that $650,000 divided by 50,000 residents is about $13 per person. Divide that by four (shelf life of this particular med) and you get an average annual total of $3.25 per person. About the cost of a beer.

So, for $3.25 per year (less than $0.30 per month) per person the government could (and should already have) established a funding programme for just this scenario.

But they haven't given a rat's ass to this point so why start now?

And by the way, the US Centres for Disease Control have determined that bleach-soaked mats are not effective against this particular strain. Apparently bleach-soaked mats is a technique best used against mad cow disease.

My question is this: Will there be a coin toss for the 25-30 doses on island at present or have the LA already put their names on them?