*picks up card and reads it* I'm now the owner of the "Golden Can Opener". Yesssss.

Steven

Now you can check your soups for the alphabet bonus.

Pearl

Who wrote this game?

Steven

My turn! *reads card and gasps* I've gotta roll the dice to escape the eggquake! *presses fake blender that rolls dice* C'mon, papa needs a new skillet! (The dice come out and both have eggs on top.) Yeah! Double sunnies! I did it! *moves his piece* I win! Yeah! This Citchen Calamity has been cleaned up! Woohoo! *laughs*

Amethyst

I don't get it, but nice job. *starts clapping*

Pearl

Yes, well done. *claps* That was very, very complicated.

Garnet

Well played. *pets Steven*

Steven

*giggles and blushes* So, what do you want to play next? *goes to closet*

Pearl

There are more?

Steven

(He opens his closet and rummages through it looking for games.) Oh sure. I got Polly Polly, Toppler, Conquerors of Eldermore, Not That Sorry, Don't Wake Father Figure, and Non-Invasive Operation. I think that one's missing a couple organs. I also have Checkers, if you want to take tur- *Moon Goddess Statue falls out of closet* The Sea Spire statue.

Amethyst

*laughs as she sits up* Pfft, oh, so that's where you left it. (Pearl looks at her annoyed.)

Steven

I... forgot I still had this. *picks it up and sighs* I... I'm really sorry I forgot it on our mission that time.

Pearl

Oh, Steven.

Steven

If I had just remembered to pack it, then maybe the Sea Spire would still be around. But now it's gone forever, 'cause of me.

Amethyst

Well yeah, but... don't worry about it... guy.

Garnet

You did your best on that mission, *points at him* and that's what counts.

Steven

But the Sea Spire. It was a special, important, Gem... place!

Pearl

*bends down to Steven* Oh, Steven, no, no, no. If the Spire had been crucial, we wouldn't have used it as a test for you. It's fine, really.

Steven

*confused* Test? What do you mean, "test"?

(Garnet and Amethyst glance at each other and Pearl gets worried. Thunder is heard outside.)

Pearl

Uhhhhhhh, well it wasn't really a "test", per se. Not in the traditional sense. We just wanted to see if you were ready to go on missions.

Steven

That's exactly what a test is!

Pearl

*makes a nervous face* Euuuugghhhhh.

Garnet

Steven, it wasn't something we planned behind your back. We just saw an opportunity and...

Steven

*gasps* And I failed it. I failed the test.

Amethyst

No way, you got at least a 50%.

Pearl

Oh, and you had that raft so we didn't have to swim home! That's a solid 75, not failing at all! Besides, that Spire was in much worse shape than we thought. It should have been even easier.

Steven

I failed an easy test?!

Amethyst

*looks at Pearl in a half-mad way*Nice one.

Garnet

*gets up and groans angrily at Pearl* Hmmm!

Pearl

That's not what I meant! I—

Steven

No. I need another test! A hard one! *gets excited*

Pearl

But Steven. You've come so far.

Steven

Let me prove it. *hyped* Test me! Test me!

(Pearl and Amethyst look at Garnet.)

[Trans. Int. Warp Room]

Pearl

Alright, Steven. We've adjusted the metaphysical properties of the temple to create a customized dungeon for you. *projects hologram* Now, just beyond here are three chambers designed by each of us to simulate the challenges of a mission. Should you succeed, you will unlock the final door, where we will be waiting for you. *stops hologram*

(Bars block the entrance and Steven sees a door high up on the wall across the room.)

Steven

How do I get up there?

(A musical pattern plays on the floor and certain tiles glow on each note.)

Steven

Hmmm. Oh! A music puzzle. Must be Pearl's room. Only she would make me think. Okay, let's see. Ummm. *steps on tile* Bing. *jumps to another* Bing. *jumps to the last two* Bing, bing. Did that do it? *stairs appear in front of him and he laughs* Easy! *blade swings behind him* Not easy! Aaaaah! *avoids blades and runs to top of stairs* Woo hoo! *star balloons appear* That was close. That was... *panting* ...really close.

(Steven starts to walk and then fire shoots through a crack. He jumps over and waits until the next one goes down. He starts to walk confidently towards the door but spikes fall from the ceiling above. He starts screaming, but the spikes stop just over his head and start to go back up. To test, he walks away and the spikes hit the ground. When he puts his arm under, it stops over him.)

Steven

What?

(The fire shoots up but it goes around Steven.)

Steven

Oh no. It can't be true!

[Trans. Int. Pearl's Chamber]

Steven

*sees that the blades go through him* Whaat! *starts randomly tapping tiles and stairs go up* It didn't even matter?!?

[Trans. Int. Amethyst's Chamber]

Steven

*starts walking over pit* This too! *ball rolls down and stops right before Steven* Everything's riiiiigged! Aaaaah! (He walks up the trail, pushing the ball back into Amethyst's mouth.)

[Trans. Ext. Dungeons]

(Steven sees he is above all the dungeons, on a big rectangular prism. He sees all the fake traps as he walks around.)

Steven

I... can't believe it. Ugggh. "It won't be easy. Good luck, you're gonna need it." How am I supposed to prove myself if you guys keep— *sees the Gems at the end*

Amethyst

What's taking him so long?

Pearl

I didn't think mine was very difficult. Do you think he hurt himself?

Garnet

There's no way. It's impossible for him to fail.

Amethyst

Ugggh. So what's the point?

Pearl

The point is that he's come so far. He can make Rose's bubble! And he's pulled out Rose's shield twice. But he's lost his healing powers. We have to give him another "success". He can't lose his confidence like that again.

Amethyst

*silence* We're bad at this.

Pearl

What?!

Amethyst

Yeah. You can't control him, and he shouldn't be taking advice from me, and we don't have Rose to tell us what to do!

Pearl

But he needs us to show him how to be a Gem!

Garnet

Steven is not just a Gem. There's never been anything or anyone like Steven. We don't know what he needs.

(Steven goes back in the dungeon. He confidently walks back through the dungeon and opens the doors, where the Gems are waiting. Steven sees the Gems clapping under a bouquet of star balloons and tiny firecrackers on the sides in his celebration.)

*seemingly angry and kneels to the floor* I can't believe you guys. That was so... *happily* ... insane! (The Gems look at each other.) Where do I even begin? Man, you should have seen me. That boulder was coming at me and I just jumped for it. And then the tiles were going like "Bing, bong, bing" and I was like "I see what's going on here". And I thought there's no way I could have been ready for all that fire and lava and spikes but I did it! I really... did it. I... You guys are the best. Thank you so much for doing this for me. This was just what I needed.