yes, I see it is true, you are a formidable foe.
you have conflagrated, and sent to char, many a worthy opponent.
I'm sure, wieners of all types and sizes have fallen in and been devoured by your flame.........masticated and incinerated in the jaws of the furnace, that is you.......

BUT,

I fear not your fire, I in fact welcome it, for as the metal in made stronger by it's contact with flame, so shall the wiener be.........
hardened and made supple, concurrently.

Though your flame may heat, and, perhaps singe me, I shall rise, as the phoenix, victorious, to quench you, by piercing your flame with my wiener until all fire is gone, and, the mere cinder of your existence remains, a hollow, wilted blackened and charred shell...........
And I stand above you,
singing on high, the praises of "OMW" and, the Bar, from whence we came unto the world of battle and conflict.

Yay, tread lightly with your sodden hooves, cloven though they may be, that I, Wiener Man, do look upon you in your moment of defeat and take pity and spare you the ultimate quenching, from the omnipotent
Weiner........

Or,
make peace now, accept me as such, and, I you, as equal, partner with me to do good and right the wrongs of the world, vanquishing all vegi'/tofu and other non meat weiners and sausages alike, unto the nether worlds where they may linger without note, and languish in the world of non calorie sweeteners, no fat mayonnaise, and, no sugar sodas......along with, light beer.

make your choice, varmint, take my hand as friend and partner, equal and pal, or, make peace with your Dog, as, you will meet him soon enough.........

I am not here to merely scorch you. I bring out your best qualities. My presence is to your enhancement.

Without me, you have a very bleak existence, forced to live in the plastic cryogenic packaged state from whence you came from.
Without me, fat pockets coat the mouth that no mere drink can penetrate.
Without me, catsup and mustard sit lonely on the shelf, collecting unemployment, glaring at you as they struggle to provide for their families.
Without me, you are a mere protein, completely utilitarian with a single purpose.

Children will no longer scream in delight over you.
Mothers will no longer praise your contribution in reducing their hectic busy schedules.
Fathers will turn to steaks to add to their hamburgers on their bbq menu.

Your flowery eloquence will not help you. Stop looking so desperate. Itâ€™s embarrassing!

I am not here to merely scorch you. I bring out your best qualities. My presence is to your enhancement.

Without me, you have a very bleak existence, forced to live in the plastic cryogenic packaged state from whence you came from. Without me, fat pockets coat the mouth that no mere drink can penetrate. Without me, catsup and mustard sit lonely on the shelf, collecting unemployment, glaring at you as they struggle to provide for their families.Without me, you are a mere protein, completely utilitarian with a single purpose.

Children will no longer scream in delight over you. Mothers will no longer praise your contribution in reducing their hectic busy schedules. Fathers will turn to steaks to add to their hamburgers on their bbq menu.

Your flowery eloquence will not help you. Stop looking so desperate. Itâ€™s embarrassing!

Ah, Burn, my hot, conflagrating friend, you speak true.
yin to my yang.
as, I also give you meaning, for, without me to heat and make tasty, you are but a consumer of fuels..........
at times a light, at times a savior, as often a bringer of destruction and pain.
androgynous, as such. perhaps, to be called "Pat"..........

Desperate, pal, is not my intent, or, meaning, much less attitude.
as with any foe, or potential friend, I merely offer the chance to work towards the same goals, turn the negative energy of conflict towards the work of the greater good.
I have no hate for you, for, hate emanates from fear, and, I fear no one.
you have attributes, and, they are grand.
You're weakness shows in your aggressive, and demeaning attitude, though.
I hold the key, to our cooperation, and friendship, or, the method of your destruction.
I give you the choice.
I offer the chance to dance, the dance of mutual aid, or, destruction, again, perhaps mutual.
I give you the choice. I will accept either, with relish (hahha a pun), and await your response.

Artemis wrote:Okay, I never made it to Thunderdome on the playa, but somehow I imagined it will be a little bit messier than this.

You 2 look like you should be having your discussion at the UN aka the Weineeted Nations.

until such time as the U.N. submits to singing the OMWs at openings, and, becomes "of the body" I will not soil my feet nor tread upon the unholy grounds that are that impotent, "captain dunsel" (star trek ref.) organization.