Baby Name Poll Results

Scared vs. Teen vs. Mom....

I know this isn’t a parenting site but I really need some help. I’m only 16 and am currently 24 weeks pregnant. I’m debating on whether or not to put her up for adoption. I know that I probably should, to give her a better life with parents who are married and stable...but at the same time I can’t even bare the thought of it. I mean she is my baby and I love her with all of my heart. I have a GREAT support system, my whole family supports whichever decision I make. Advice anyone??? I also need some name ideas. I want her to have a feminine name, and something with a great meaning. Something that ages well and doesn’t scream TEEN MOM would be nice too. Thank you for any help, and actually just for reading this ~Anna~

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Comments

I was adopted and it was the best thing that ever happened to me I had a wonderful life with parents that had money and love and time for me but she is your baby just know it will be hard and you will have to give up alot it is ur choice but i think adoption is the best give ur daughter the life she deserves

The best life she can have is the one her mom gives her. I think you should keep her. I feel the same way. I know it’s challenging without (I’m assuming) her father but your family will help and she will be loved so much by everyone. Keep her youll be glad you did. As for names I think you should name her after you ___ Anna. It’s special and would have special meaning to be named after her mom. I am and I enjoy it.

Thank you, Lauren. I have the love and time to take care of her, but not the stable relationship and two parents a child deserves. Thinking about putting her up for adoption is killing me though...ughh.

God’s given you this baby and I think you should take the opportunity of this gift and raise her yourself. You’ll appreciate the fact you did. I understand your concern of unfairness of having a father but sweetie what if her adopted father sexually abuses her or whatever. When she’s in your arms you know she’s safe and okay.

Thank you so much guest, that is a VERY good point. You can have an open adoption and never truly know that the baby is safe and not being harmed. I think I’m going to keep her, and raise her myself. I KNOW I can do it, my family believes in me, and will be there for me to help and guide me.

THis is lauren again I have 2 babies very young it is so so so hard Im not doubting that u wont take care of her just make sure your ready to give up your whole life and believe me a child will do fine whith one loving parent but there are also many people out there who cant have babies that would love ur baby

Hi Lauren! The second I found out I was pregnant I was ready to give up my childhood and become a mother. I never was much of a partier or a very social person, I have a few close friends, but I don’t go out hardly ever so that’s not an issue really. I know it’s going to be hard but my mom told me today actually "Anna, it’s hard having a baby at any age" and that stuck with me.

The best thing you can do is choose a family through a reputable adoption agency and allow your child the stability she deserves. There are thousands of couples out there who can’t have kids and want nothing more than to give your child a loving home. To suggest that the adoptive father will sexually abuse her is irresponsible--and an open adoption will allow you to keep an eye on her progress without dealing with the immense responsibility of raising a child. Just consider the fact that once you commit to raising her, you cannot think of yourself first until she’s grown up; everything you do will affect her one way or another. That’s a huge responsibility, and I don’t know many 16-year-olds (even 36-year-olds!) who are up to that challenge. Do what’s best for the child.

Thank you for your opinion, Ellen. It means a lot. I don’t think I’d ever be able to do an open adoption though...hearing her call someone else mama would break my heart. I truly believe that I could give her a great life...I know it will be hard, but I’m ready for the challenge.

I think its fine if you keep her, but make sure you take responsibily of her, not your parents. And make sure you can afford to by her everything she needs, not the government. If you cant, adoption is a wonderful thing, and I know a couple people who are adopted and have great, successful and happy lives.

Guest- Oh don’t you worry about that...I will be the one taking care of her. I don’t think I’ll leave her side for a few months after she’s born haha. And the government sure won’t be paying for her. I’ll probably go on WIC but that’s all! She is my baby, and I’ll be the one supporting her. I’m sure most of my big stuff will be baby shower presents, they normally are, and I’m going to breastfeed to cut down on the cost of formula. I’m hoping that I’ll have everything figured out before she’s born.

Lauren- LOL. I don’t have a favorite name yet...it’s hard naming a baby!!

Judy- Oh trust me I know that. I know the responsibilty, the sleepless nights, the money, everything. I have a friend who had a baby at 17 and I watched her, but through all of that I saw how much she loved that little girl. It will be hard, I KNOW that, but I also know that I will be a great mother :)

Judy my grandmother had her first at 16 and her lat of 3 at 21 and was a wonder mother while her husband went around cheating on her and was never home. If she can do it, Anna and everyone else can to. I understand the point your making but it seems like Anna is mature enough to know that.

I know exactly how you feel sweetie. I had my first at 15, and she is now 10, and has twin brothers who are 6. I kept her because I knew that she would appreciate the fact that though times were tough, we stuck together. Also in keeping her, I had the opportunity to breastfeed her. It has great health benefits, and it lets mom and baby bond. If you do give her up for adoption, just know that she is in a loving home, and may have opportunities to do things you may not be able to do for her. I fully support either choice, but just know that it may seem bad now, but it does get better, and you will survive. Gl and btw how’s your pregnancy going? Gl again and god bless!

Thank you Hailey. That post meant a lot seeing as you’ve been there before, and survived, lol!! My pregnancy is going great, I just started actually SHOWING a couple of weeks ago which is pretty exciting. I’m feeling her kick quite a bit now too and it amazes me everytime!!

I don’t think you should give her up for addoption. I thought that I wanted to give my baby up when I was pregnant but since I was only 15 but I grew to attatched to her and I love my baby girl way to much to every let her go! I am so happy I chose to keep my little angel!!

Don’t worry, of course you will survive. I loved feeling my babies inside me kicking. I thought it was hilarious when I was pregnant with the twins, because they always had a rhythm to their kicks. I remember though when I was pregnant with my daughter and I first started showing, that’s when I decided to keep her. Knowing that a part of me would be missing if I gave her up for adoption broke my heart. I just read that you plan on breastfeeding her and I think that’s wonderful. Once she is born, and you start to feed her its really quite amazing how special it is. Gl

I think that as long as there is a way to be able to support the baby and take care of her then it is up to you whether to adopt or keep her. Sure there are a lot of people who would like to adopt but as long as she is well taken care of then I think that it is fine for you to keep her, which I’m sure you will take good care of her.

Your welcome, I wish I had someone to give me this advice when I was pregnant. :D... I think you should keep her if everyone is supportive. Also, I know I was most scared about the birth, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

The desire to keep your child while well meaing is the more selfish of the two decisions. It has been proved time and again that children need stable home enviroments. It is just better for them. You have the opportunity to give your little girl a better life than you can give her and you are choosing to keep her? I am not tryining to be rude, giving up a baby has to be the hardest thing that you could ever do. However, It is the most selfless and loving thing that a young unprepared mother can do for her baby.

I agree with pp. You can say all that you want that you are keeping her for her but in the end it is all you. She will not know the difference. A loving adoptive home can give her the same love that you can, including the breast feeding...they can also provide her with a stable mother and father figure and a home life that you cannot provide. It also allows you to continue your life and education so that you don’t end up a burden to society. She will be loved either way. You don’t know what it is like to be a mother...I don’t care how many of your friends you have watched. As pp’s have said...this isn’t cute, it is not a game, she is not a toy. It is going to be hard and you need to talk to an agency in order to make an informed decision. Not one that you made by playing around on a baby naming site.

First, you have to decide what is best for your child. Parenting is the hardest job there is, but it is also very rewarding. Just to put your mind at ease about adoption, I am an adoptive mom. Adoption is a beautiful thing. Being chosen as parents for a beautiful baby boy was the greatest gift we have ever received. We are unable to have biological children, and there are many other couples like us out there. To become adoptive parents, you have to go through a lot- background checks, fingerprinting, references, home study, etc. The agency studies every aspect of your life. Every adoptive family must have a home study so you can be confident that the couple has been checked out. If you go through a respectable adoption agency, then I think you would be more comfortable. Many agencies have counselors to help you with your decision, whether you decide to parent or if you choose adoption. We have a semi-open adoption so we don’t have actual contact with the birth parents. All contact goes through the agency. If open adoption is not for you, then that is something you might want to consider. Keep in mind, should go with adoption, that YOU get to choose the family your child goes to. With all that said, do not be pressured to make any decision that makes you uncomfortable. You have to do what is in the child’s best interest. Good luck and God bless!!

Anna,To keep thechild would be the right thing to do..Im Cindy and i gave birth to my first child at 15 and I was wanting to give her up for adoption and i didnt and i survived.
I have Logan Renea and Kayla Paige and now expecting a baby boy.♥ Cindy