How to Win Wanderlust Festival’s Yoga Teacher Contest

In one of our recent posts we took a look at the flagrant pageantry of modern yogapop (we’re sorry for that sentence, too). In it we noted that one of the biggest proponents, the Wanderlust Festival, had held a teacher contest last year, but which was absent from this year’s promotional efforts. Or so we thought. Yesterday’s email blast informed us that it’s back! Thank goodness.

All you have to do is send in a video of your totally awesome yoga self, have all your friends vote, which should be super easy since you’re already über popular, and “they” will pick who’s worthy of teaching to the feather-haired fest-goers:

Now it’s your chance. Starting today (April 24), you can enter our contest by uploading your video to our Facebook wall. Get creative, explain why you should teach atWanderlust in 2012, and show us some of your best poses. Spread the word, because our most committed of yogic elders will choose from the three videos with the most “likes” — and the teacher we pick will get an official teaching spot at the Wanderlust of their choice this summer.

Honestly, we’ve been to Wanderlust and as freaky Friday as it sometimes is, it’s actually a fun time. But for some reason, the crowning of a Mrs. or Mr. Wanderlust 2012 based on “yogic elders” doesn’t sound appealing to us. And you don’t even get a special sash or a ride in a convertible. Total bullshit.

That said, we wish good luck to all you hopefuls (truly). It will certainly be an interesting experience, to say the least. Maybe you’ll even win a chance to guest star at Wanderlust World or “rock your yoga” on TV. We can say we knew you when!

Oh right, how to win? We don’t know. Be yourself…and eat organic food?

Hmm, you’re parsing their email like a bunch of lawyers at a Clinton deposition. Of all the things to get riled about in this crazy world, it’s hard for me to see how a teacher contest is one of them. “Best pose” — yes, you can twist the meaning, but I think they meant “show us your stuff”. And “Yogic elders” sounds like a feeble attempt at humor, though I guess it’s possible that they have a star chamber deep in their California office, a place where people wear red robes, have secret handshakes, and judge the yoga practice of all potential entrants to the yoga world. Actually, maybe that’s where John Friend is now. I hope the Wanderlust people don’t decide to write in and parse *your* columns for unofficial yoga language, YogaDork. When I last read Light on Yoga, I don’t recall the chapter that recommended consistent snarkiness — but it’s been a while.

Anyway, how about the fact that there are thousands of very established and serious yoga teachers who would love to teach at Yoga Journal Conf, Tadasana, Wanderlust, or Hanuman — but they never get the chance because they’re simply not well known. Maybe the most gifted teacher alive is toiling away in Duluth, MN right now. Or how about the 1,000s of newly minted teachers — some of whom are doubtless undiscovered talents? Fact is, yoga teachers need to have students in order to earn a living, and one of the (many) ways teachers get students is by having the opportunity to teach large groups. It’s really similar to bloggers, who need controversy to get large numbers to read their blog, so they can then sell ads to people selling yoga crap. (Actually, Wanderlust should advertise with you, YogaDork — seems like a symbiotic relationship).

Wanderlust and every other major conference books the same well-known, safe teachers. Thusly is yoga protected from total moral decline. To my radical mind, the very idea that big yoga conferences *only* should book hand-picked pre-anointed teachers is offensive. Why are some teachers known? Some, like Seane and John (before the fall) separate themselves with skill and charisma — and years of travel and workshops. But others are known simply because they have DVDs and are featured within the pages of Yoga Journal. Should that be the only way thousands of people are exposed to a teacher? I don’t think so. I certainly wouldn’t go to a crowd-sourced yoga studio, but I also don’t just practice with teachers that Yoga Journal tells me are good.

This whole idea seems pretty democratic. I assume the “pick the best of 3″ concept is just to make sure someone totally unqualified doesn’t end up teaching a class. Hopefully that’s true, and in the best case, something truly amazing happens. Either way, get your knickers out of that knot — I’ve heard of far worse ideas.

Yes Judy. A cheap promotional come on. Much like the Yoga Teacher Training that most studios offer. Enroll as many as you can into YTT, accept the $4,000 tuition, charge for asana classes to the trainees, not to mention the books. Then, when the trainees are half way through the training, focus all of the studios efforts into finding the next batch of Rubes (er teacher trainees). If there is any push back from the bilked students, call them “out of integrity” in front of the Kula and let the shunning begin. Whatever Wanderlust’s method of milking the cow is, it is a reflection of who we all are anyway. I teach for the Y. The Y sucks the soul from every teacher there then tell the teachers that they may not interact with the members socially. The Y does this to keep the members from realizing that the Yoga Teachers are the reason the members attend. Instead, the teachers are treated as “The Help” and are summarily dismissed. If a teacher speaks out, they are demoted or their classes get moved into a dark cave . I am ready to stop teaching now. Mostly because the loud mouthed pixie chix who just finished their 200YTT are given prime time teaching slots primarily because their tits are perky and they fashionista correctly. Yoga needs to retry, reload and rebrand because corporate America has raped the soul of Yoga. America has skinned her the the Dude in Silence of the Lambs, and is wearing her skin for a few dollars more.