Children and Domestic Violence – Part II

The following information is brought to you by St. Hubert’s Domestic Violence Ministry

Children and Domestic Violence – Part II Children who have been exposed to domestic violence often learn destructive lessons about the use of violence and power in relationships in addition to the physical, behavioral, psychological, and cognitive effects. These lessons can have a powerful negative effect on children in social situations and relationships throughout childhood and in later life.

Children may learn that it is acceptable to exert control or relieve stress by using violence, or that violence is linked to expressions of intimacy and affection.

Children who grow up observing one of their parents being abused, grow up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one spouse uses intimidation and violence over the other spouse to get their way. Because children have a natural tendency to identify with strength, they may ally themselves with the abuser and lose respect for their seemingly helpless other parent. Abusers typically play into this by putting the spouse down in front of their children. Seeing one of their parents treated with enormous disrespect, teaches children that they can disrespect people as their parent has done.

Most experts believe that children who are raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflicts and problems. They may replicate the violence they witnessed as children in their teen and adult relationships and parenting experiences.

If you or someone you know is being abused, seek help today. In an emergency, please dial 911. For all other help, please call: Illinois Statewide Domestic Violence Helpline 877 TO END DV (877-863-6338), 877-863-6339 TTY or call WINGS 24-hour hotline 847-221-5680.