29 May 2008

Still on the path

Today marks our 26th month of waiting for our child. Well 26 months of waiting since we officially became "pregnant" with a child from China. Never in our minds did we ever think we'd be here today, May 29, 2008 and still be without. But in the last 26 months so much has changed, good change and maybe some bad, but mostly positive steps forward in our lives. The biggest step for me has been patience, with any adoption you learn patience. I've never been one to be patient. But now I am, it's calming. When I was told, "...adoption is not for the faint of heart.", I found that slightly hard to believe, but now...yeah, your heart must be as strong as steel.

We started this adoption thinking it was our plan A, and if a plan B came along we'd look into it. Recently a plan B did come along and the excitement was palpable. The emotions were exaggerated. The heart was not like steel. When plan B was taken away rather suddenly, the covers slipped away. The silence was so loud. And the heart was broken. Several weeks passed before I realized that this "plan B" that came along really wasn't plan B, but plan A. Our adoption journey to our child in China IS our plan B. Our child is not coming from somewhere or someone else, our child is coming from China. Always has been, always will be.

So as we celebrate our 26th month of this journey, I am reminded of what I've learned, patience. And I will wait until our child is in our arms. Forever.

Adoption bring many gifts beyond the gift of our children. Like you, I learned a lot of very necessary lessons - and a lot about myself - while I was waiting. I know I am a better mother because of this.