will you survive the zombie apocalypse?

Zombies in the Good Book?

I have a hard time with people who believe every punctuation mark in the Holy Bible (and it’s usually the King James Bible they’re referring to) was inspired by God. Not that the Almighty penned it Himself; rather He possessed sinful human beings—a LOT of them—who dictated what He wanted to say. People believe this despite the numerous blatant contradictions contained in the Scriptures. Not even the four Gospels, on which the foundation of Christianity rests, can agree on all the details. Take the Resurrection, for example. Who got to the empty tomb first? Did or did not the resurrected Jesus put in an appearance? How many angels were there, or were there angels present at all? It depends on which Gospel you read.

Biblical literalists must then concede that there were zombies mentioned in the Bible. Don’t believe me? This passage is from Matthew 27, verses 21-24 (King James Version), describing events immediately following Christ’s death. “And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.” So, literalists, does this mean zombies are real?