South Park Phone Destroyer Tips: It's Time To Kill Kenny

Another contender appears in the seemingly endless cesspool of freemium mobile card-games: South Park: Phone Destroyer. Unlike the mindless clickers with greedy developers, RedLynx and South Park Digital Studios have managed to create a game that actually grabs your attention and keeps it. There’s no “stamina bar” forcing you to wait hours to replenish before completing a quest or mission — you can just grind away at this game and destroy your life, exactly as the developers intended. In between trips to the corner store and games of League Of Legends, I’ve been immersed in the town in Colorado, summoning Sheriff Cartman, Gizmo Ike and the rest of the characters.

Here are a few tips to help you become the best at wasting all your time playing South Park: Phone Destroying .

This Isn’t For The Easily Offended- South Park: Phone Destroyer has the same crass and inappropriate humor as the other RPGs in the series, including Stick Of Truth and Fractured But Whole . There’s some pretty R-rated characters as well as gameplay filled with vomit, blood and poison. If you can’t handle Cartman dressed as a Buddha and some Jewish ninjas, then you’re better off sticking to Candy Crush .

Combat Is Easy To Learn, Impossible To Master- The basics of the game are simple: you construct a deck that can only have cards from two classes out of five, including Neutral, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Mystical, and Fantasy. Placing cards on the field summons the characters and spends some of your phone points. Walking down a suburban street, your summons must murder flocks of pigeons, underpants gnomes and ninjews. Knowing when to save a unit, when to block an enemy unit or when to launch a full-out assault comes with practice, but there are a few hints that can help you out.

Don’t Dump Your Whole Hand- In early PVE, you can pretty much do anything and get away with it. Once you start climbing the PVP ladder or fighting Poseidon Stan and the rest of the religious deities, unit placement is key. Drop a tank in the line of an assassin, followed by a ranged ally for support to gain board advantage. If you’re careless with your tank, the enemy can swiftly kill all your units and end the game. This is a fast-paced game, where every card counts.

Learn how to use Spells - GobblGobbl on reddit has an amazing new player guide that really breaks down all the problems that you need to overcome in order to improve. An understated but valuable piece of information is that spells are incredibly useful in combat. When I started, I thought Fireball and Lightning Bolt were useless and removed them from my deck, until I realized I couldn’t win any of my PVP matches. Clearing a dangerous assassin or group of pigeons in one blast could save your Sheriff Cartman or Alien Clyde and give you the advantage necessary to win. Save your energy, then plop some damage on the field to push for victory.

Use The Force- For duels and PVP matches, it’s important to understand how your shock ability works. When an enemy closes in towards your side of the field, you’ll shock them periodically for consistent damage. After a third of your life-bar is gone, you’ll shock every enemy unit around you and knock them back. Sometimes, it’s smarter to take the damage and lose a bar in order to kill every squishy unit and push your advantage. It’s a unique mechanic that makes fights a lot better than just “whoever has the best cards win.”

Beware Cheaters- This game has a serious cheater problem in PVP. Players are making fake accounts to get the best cards and to get more energy than they should have. It’s a problem that will eventually get fixed, but for now all you can do is report them and move onto the next game. Don’t get salty, it’s a bad look.