For those of you
who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you
will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call
New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston
and the surrounding area:

There's no school
on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Doc k Square, no
water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington,
Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B,
C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut,
Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in
Wellesley.

Massachusetts Ave
is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave. South Boston is Southie. The
South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east
of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a
guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is "The Burry",
Jamaica Plain is J.P.

Definitions:Frappes have ice
cream, milkshakes don't.If it is fizzy
and flavored, it's tonic.Soda is CLUB SODA."Pop" is Dad.When we want Tonic
WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.The smallest beer
is a pint.Scrod is whatever
they tell you it is, usually fish.If you paid more
than $6/pound, you got scrod.It's not a water
fountain; it's a bubblah.It's not a trashcan;
it's a barrel.It's not a spucky
it's a sub.It's not a shopping
cart; it's a carriage.It's not a purse;
it's a pockabook.They're not franks;
they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.

Police don't drive
patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza".If you take the
bus, you ' re on the "looza crooza".It's not a rubber
band, it's an elastic.

Things not to do:Don't pahk your
cah in Hahvid Yahd ... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville
(Somerville).Don't sleep in
the Common. (Boston Common).Don't wear Orange
in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

Things you should
know:There are two State
Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, and two Hancock buildings (one
old, one new for each).

Route 128 is also
I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.The underground
train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah
chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).Order the "cold
tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians...think
that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.Bostonians...think
that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).Bostonians...think
that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.Bostonians...refer
to six inches of snow as a "dusting."Bostonians...always
"bang a left" as soon as the light turns green and oncoming traffic always
expects it.Bostonians...say
everything in town is "a five-minute walk." (Pronounced "wok")Bostonians...believe
that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.Bostonians...think
that 63-degree ocean water is warm.Bostonians...think
Rhode Island accents are annoying