Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you call an elf who sings?
A Wrapper!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Crispies.

Contributed by: Cath Sumner

A wonderful Christmas song told me to Deck The Halls....so I did. Mr. and Mrs Hall were not very happy.

Don't you hate that awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents!

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing, it was on the house!

What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Sandy Claws.

What
do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.

Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until until all the birds have gone south for the winter!

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

"It's Christmas, Eve!"

There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red.
He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his
wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her
and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even
looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain.
It
must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the
Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

T'was
the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was
stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with
care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!Contributed by: Skylablue Gorman

Why is Christmas just like your job?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

Did
you know that according to the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer",
Santa has twelve reindeer? Sure, in the introduction it goes "There's
Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and
Blitzen..." That makes eight reindeer. Then there's Rudolph, of course,
so that makes nine. Then there's Olive. You know, "Olive the other reindeer
used to laugh..." That makes ten. The eleventh is Howe. You know, "Then
Howe the reindeer loved him..." Eleven reindeer. Oh, and number 12? That's Andy! "Andy shouted out with glee." The proof is in the song!Originally Contributed by: unknown...We were reminded about Andy by Paul Grupe!