Merry Christmas to all of you celebrating Christmas tomorrow. To all of you who may not be celebrating Christmas. I hope your Wednesday is hopeful and bright and that if you celebrate any holidays this season that they are wonderful. Since tomorrow is Christmas, the topic for today’s 20 Questions is, unsurprisingly enough, “Christmas.”

Before we go any further. Let’s get the boring old tiresome questions out f the way. I have received many best gifts and the worst gift was from my Grandmother in Florida who really wanted me to be a girl. The tradition on Christmas is that the family opens Santa gifts (Santa is still blessedly real in our household, probably for the last year :-( —boooooo!) and empties stockings. Then I make cinnamon rolls for breakfast (which will be interesting this year with the gluten thing). After breakfast Little Man and Q play the part of Santa’s Elves and pass out the presents. Then we sit and open one gift each in turn. It then becomes snack time. Following the snack the Wife and her mom start up with Christmas dinner prep for a standing rib roast, twice baked potatoes, and a vegetable of some kind. That is the end to the structure. From there the house descends into chaos and napping.

Thanks this week go to Mike, Lord Pithy, Nadolny, Dr B-Dawg, Wood, Lsig, and Newbold. Enough of this claptrap. On to the questions!

1. Eggnog: Yes or no?Yes, definitely the non-alcoholic kind as a kid. Barber’s Egg Nog was that bomb. I have not been able to find anything comparable since leaving Alabama so many years ago. I cannot imagine that adding rum to it would make it better, but I am not much for the alcohol.

2. Do you now ~ask~ for socks and underwear for Christmas, or are you still holding out for toys and major electronics? More cookware then socks and underwear, and I gave up on electronics years ago.

3. Every year I think we should just promise each other great Christmas presents and go spend all that money on awesome boxing day/week/season sales, but that never happens because WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD PUT UP WITH THAT MADNESS. Discuss…Oh, Boxing Day, you non-US shopping time. Your Boxing Day is analogous to our Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving here. Ours seems to make a bit more sense scheduling-wise… being before Christmas and all.

4. Which was your fantasy holiday getaway as a child, Christmas in Eternia, or Life Day on Kashyyyk? Has your answer to #2 changed now that you’re an “adult?” I missed the Star Wars Christmas Special that only happened once, so I would have to say that I am leaning towards the joint She-Ra/He-Man Christmas in Eternia. It does not hold up.

5. Say you were given the office of Santa for 1 hour. To whom would you deliver what? Now, say you were given the office of the Doctor for that same hour, who/what would be the villain of your Christmas episode?Hmmm… As Santa, I would bring gifts to kids whose parents couldn’t get them anything. (awwww, he has a heart… not really, but I couldn’t think of anything else). As The Doctor I would stay the fuck away from that “Are You My Mommy” shit. That stuff was terrifying. I would probably have a run in with mannequin Santas for my Doctor Who Christmas Special… I would, of course have to regenerate at the end of the episode where I would say, “Well, That’s that” as my last words and then turn into the next doctor who would happen to be Emma Thompson. Boom! and scene!

6. Is Christmas under attack?Nope

7. What is your favorite pagan part of Christmas that the Christians have merged into it?The whole thing… the Mithra story, the coopting of the Wodin’s Wild Hunt, the Yule traditions… oh I could go on.

8. Are white Christmas’s better?…Aside from weather, are there any major differences between the Christmas celebrations of your childhood and those of your family now? Is this a racist question… I would imagine that Christmas is better on average for white people.. oh, wait, you mean weather wise… I have never experienced a white Christmas. So far the big difference between the Alabama Christmas and an Ohio Christmas is tolerance and about 5 to 10 degrees F colder.

9. Who does the wrapping? You or the better half? The Wife primarily does the wrapping, but I wrap her gifts.

10. If you could invent a new Christmas tradition that everyone just adopted, what would it be? First everyone must wear a cap, and then people must politely doff them upon meeting, primarily so I can write the word “doff.”

11. Do the kids give you a formal wish list or is it just picking up on what they are interested in? We had then snap some pics at stores of things they wanted and then made Pinterest boards for them.

12. Which is your favorite reindeer?Blitzen… for reasons.

13. Why the North pole and not the South pole? Because modern Western Culture are primarily in the Northern Hemisphere

14. Does Santa pay his elves or are they working for free it is some form of socialism? It is a form of socialism? Elves serve at the pleasure of Santa (and most likely to pleasure Santa as well… the fat man wants to get his jollies).

15. Santa: Charming addition to the magic of the holiday season, or parental lie that will undermine your children’s faith in humanity when the truth is discovered? It is delightful to watch the kids believe in fable and magic. They light up when thinking about it. I love that. Most likely that will end soon, and I will miss the magicalness.

16. What’s your favorite Christmas special? Do your kids concur? I have always been partial to the Rankin and Bass specials, but I think that has to do with the whole childhood/nostalgia. The kids like this show called “Gotta Get Santa Claus” where William Shatner is the voice of Santa Claus. It is an odd show with crazy plot holes.

17. Does anybody actually eat fruitcake?I have never seen a partially eaten slice of fruitcake. Either no one eats fruitcake or once someone eats a little bit of fruitcake they have to eat the whole thing.

18. One christmas me, my brother and 3 redneck friends took a 2 wheel drive car out in blizzard basically. There was already 5-6 inches of snow on the ground. We drank 2.5 liters of jack daniels and skied on doors of the car because no one was on the road. This is an epic story of which I will spare you until you join the campfire some night. What’s your most memorable christmas story? Hmmm… Nothing so crazy as that. Really cannot think of anything other than gifts and food… Drunk blizzard door skiing takes the cake.

19. Is the christmas story of Jesus based on the ancient story of the sun god?Mithra, for the win! Met an unwashed dude named Mithra on a ferry from Dover to Oostend… beat that, bitches!

20. I’ve been in foreign countries for their holidays and…. Its frikkin weird. What about US consumer-christmas do think outsiders might see as weird?Everything about it. Our version of Christmas is so insanely consumer driven it is obscene. Crazy obscene due to the crazy amount of just crap people buy. It is less a religious holiday and more an excuse to run up credit card debt.

To recap:

A good friend of mine from freshmen to the second semester of my junior year is losing her battle with breast cancer

She and I drifted away from each other long long ago

She has an amazing wit and really helped me through Art History 1, 2, and 3

Those classes were god awful boring and a group of us would pass our notes around trying to make each other laugh