Cannes We Not?

That is a terrible pun, and I apologize for it. Self-aware terrible jokes are awesome, though.

Anyway, the Cannes film festival is ongoing, and several people seem to be….confused. I am not okay with it.

This is just…completely see-through. You can see her underwear and how she’s covering her boobs. NOT OKAY.

It looks vaguely derived from that stupid Versace dress J-Lo famously wore to the Grammy’s, and I hate most things that are derived from Famous Dresses. Any wedding dress with an obnoxious train and a thousand ruffles will be compared to Diana’s, anything with a giant safety-pinned slit will be compared to Liz Hurley in HER Famous Dress.

But this? Awful.

See through, awful, and vaguely but awkwardly mod with all the circles. I am not on board with this.

At least she is not molting, like Jessica Biel clearly is.

This is also clearly derivative of a famous dress. Bjork’s.

The infamous Oscars swan dress has clearly started losing its feathers. That is not the dress the new Mrs. Sexyback should be wearing.

Of course, I would argue that NO ONE should be wearing a dress like that, and that Marchesa is continuing its streak of being completely crazy-town banana-pants.