Monday, August 27, 2007

In this season of chingam...season of orange and yellow flowers from market in transparent light green plastic kits …I somehow managed to keep heart just in right pace. .around 90/120…now slowly started liking the graphs of correlation, standard deviation and regression … b’coz they have begun interpreting many things in life that I thought was not scalable…. classes of maths proved to be helpful…there was the smell of slightly decayed flowers due to rain all in air....it took me to the remembrance of last spell of karkedakam…a time of rain and curative medicine …

desire to be a doctor...Always wanting to do something in hospital—a very strong desire...We used to watch critical medical cases in BBC, Medical detectives in Discovery and discuss about it, In library used to gaze at pictures of dead-bodies and scenes of murder victims and she used to explain to me very passionately about skulls and big thick medical books of her sister who was a doctor…..

ALL these incidents was now like a illustration of something that I read in one of the books that influenced me a lot….it became now digestible for the neurons in my brain…a book that was read in absolute state of ‘No-Desire’..It quotes ‘man-desire=god’…strange indeed to realize on how your desires influence life…. I was explaining an account from this in my room “There was a snake in a village which was a great menace to the villagers …a sage passed its way and asked the snake to love every one….next time the sage saw the snake almost dead….the wise man replied-‘I only asked you to love people .not to express it..’” …I could see changes of expression in everyone’s face…because all were effected by it…...

Last month rain was poring down from sky like the leaking roof in our old quarters, and now every thing was back to square one … Minute thing of life brought in the biggest fears like Pareto principle of 80-20 rule…

As Onam arrived….. again floral patterns of desire started growing at high correlation with the time span of x-axis……ways of living in this remotes part of universe away from peppy, sexy bollywood movies ..Away from original classical melody of Chennai… with new songs from innermost chamber of heart just at right pace of 80/120….just in right season of life…