This is fantastic. I love your interpretation of Dumbledore and Grindlewald's duel, and the way you showed those stories as memories flashing before the character's eyes as a Killing Curse comes closer with each passing second.

That was really good and creative, but in HP&DH it explains that the baron was "courting" the grey lady. Then, the grey lady's mother, the original rowana ravenclaw was mad at her. So she ordered the baron to take her back home. She was stubborn and said no so in an act of desperate measures he killed her. After realizing what he did, he stabbed his self because he loved her. And that's why he wore chains, even in his ghostlihood.

You wrote the young Voldemort perfectly. Tom Riddle had that charm about him, but was still a bit of a man piece on the inside. This is spot on to what I think the teenaged Tom would've been like.

You really captured both his cruel, heartlessness, but you made him more human than the Voldy we know.

As soon as Myrtle was mentioned I was just WAITING for it to happen. I love the idea that he'd planned it all, almost as if he was using her as his first killing... a practice. And the mention of the diary too -shudder-