Saturday, May 3, 2008

For Such A Time As This by Wayne Watson

Now, All I have is nowTo be faithfulTo be holyAnd to shineLighting up the darknessRight now, I really have no choiceBut to voice the truth to the nationsA generation looking for God

For such a time as thisI was placed upon the earthTo hear the voice of God And do His willWhatever it isFor such a time as thisFor now and all the days He givesI am here, I am hereAnd I am HisFor such a time as this

You - Do you ever wonder whySeems like grass is always greenerUnder everybody else's skyBut right here, Right here for this time and placeYou can live a mirror of His mercyA forgiven image of grace

For such a time as thisI was placed upon the earthTo hear the voice of God And do His willWhatever it isFor such a time as thisFor now and all the days He givesI am here, I am hereAnd I am HisFor such a time as this

Can't change what's happened till nowBut we can change what will beBy living in holinessThat the world will see Jesus

For such a time as thisI was placed upon the earthTo hear the voice of God And do His willWhatever it isFor such a time as thisFor now and all the days He givesI am here, I am hereAnd I am HisFor such a time as this--Wayne Watson

These song lyrics don't really scan well as a poem, but I love the message. The song is great-- you should click on the link and listen to a sample or even pay the dollar and download it. It really is worth it.

A few years ago, I was looking through the BYU bookstore's annual 90% off sale and came across a little pamphlet. It only cost a few cents, and it had an interesting question on the cover. "Is this what I was born to do?" I bought it, and read it, and filed it away in my memory, and didn't think about it until last night.

I was sitting on the box spring of the cushionless couch, trying to convince my hungry and tired baby that what she really wanted was to eat and sleep, wishing I could simply have a snack and go to bed, and not face the reason why my couch cushion was sitting naked on the floor behind me, while its cover sat in the sink preventing the dirty dishes from getting washed. You see, earlier in the day, I had finally gotten Elizabeth to sleep somewhere other than my lap, and was in the middle of making a quick sandwich when she woke up and started howling and kicking and wiggling. She's often very upset to wake up, but generally three sucks on a pacifier and Mom's calming presence will send her back to sleep. Not this time though. She'd had a diaper blow-out, and her kicking and wiggling had smeared it all over the couch cushion as well as her clothes (a brand new outfit that she was wearing for the very first time). I took her in to the bedroom to change her before tackling the couch, and once I got all her clothes and diaper off, she decided it was time to finish the job and pee all over herself. That meant she needed a bath, which though fun, is a lot of work for Mommy. By the time she was cleaned, and oiled, and dressed, I was tired out, and she was hungry, so I took her into the office where I fed her and she fell asleep on my lap again.

With one thing and another, I was able to avoid the couch till Peter came home, when he kindly wrestled the cover off the cushion (thank goodness the poop hadn't soaked through to the stuffing) and deposited it in the sink with the baby's dirty clothes. Then he helped me with a few questions on the Manga I was working on, and when we were finished, he was hungry, and so was I. So I made dinner, and we ate, but Elizabeth can only deal with being left on her own for a few minutes, so I had to scarf it down pretty quickly in order to pick her up and feed her again. That's how I came to be sitting on the couch, exhausted, at 10:00 at night, trying not to face the prospect of what lay before me, but knowing that putting it off till the morning would only make it worse.

At times like these, one's thinking becomes rather existential. One is tempted to start wondering, "Is this what my life has come to? All my hard work, graduating from college, my illustrious, high powered career in database design, and all my skills have boiled down to feeding hungry mouths and scrubbing poop put of things. Is this really what I was born to do? Isn't there some higher purpose that God has in mind for me?" OK, so I was feeling a little melodramatic, but I think I had the right. Anyway, I mentioned this line of thought to Peter, and he asked, "And what conclusion does one reach about those questions?" It was then that I remembered the pamphlet.

Essentially, Sister Marjoie Hinckley (that's who wrote it) tells the story of Esther and how Mordechi says to her, "and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" God obviously had a grand, higher purpose for her life. She contrasts that with stories of harried Mormon mothers who manage to keep their households running and serve in the church against all odds. She says that we may be tempted to ask, "Is this what I was born to do?" And essentially, her answer is YES. You are exactly where God wants you to be, doing exactly what he wants you to be doing right now, and that includes scrubbing poop, or working in the garden till you're exhausted and never want to see another tomato in your life. You are blessing your family in exactly the ways they need, and God will bless you for your sacrifices for his precious children.

I didn't need that particular message when I bought that pamphlet all those years ago at BYU. I haven't needed it for all the years that I've carried it around from house to house thinking that it hardly took up any space on the bookshelf. But I needed it last night, and it was right there waiting for me. I think that's confirmation enough that God is pleased with my efforts in the poop scrubbing department. Mother's day is just over a week away. Have you prepared a suitable way to thank your mothers and wives? We really need it.

P.S. After I finished writing this post, but before I got it posted, Elizabeth must have sensed that I was in such a good place about poop scrubbing that she'd gift me with not only another diaper blowout, soaking through two layers of her clothing, but also my pants and underwear and the boppy pillow. And when I stood her up to inspect the damage, she blorped spitup all down my back, so I'd get to change my shirt and wash off the chair too. She really loves me :P

I've probably shared this before, but I had one inspirational thought about caring for infants. When I was taking care of baby Daniel, it suddenly struck me that I was "feeding the hungry and clothing the naked," the things that Christ says qualify you to get into heaven. When I was younger I had often thought that I would never have the opportunity to do those things. When you're caring for a baby, it's very unselfish. The baby can't return any favors. You know it, and don't care. You're saving the kid's life, day in and day out, because it's what you want to do. And it's nice when what you want to do and being good happen to be the same thing.

My heart goes out to you. For such a time as this indeed were you born--to nurture the next generation even when it is so difficult as the past few days have been. Your sweet brother's thoughts are profound, and so true.

I'm sorry Elizabeth is being such a pill. Remember that she is basically a sweet, good natured little girl, and she will be again. This too shall pass.

Yes, it IS nice when what you want to do, and being good happen to be the same thing! If only it happened more often:) Keep up the good works, and thanks for reminding us that we're not ready for a new baby, even if yours is REALLY CUTE!

Wow, that is so much to deal with all at once. Such an ordeal, and then the spit-up to top it all off. I'm glad you know you're doing the right thing. I'm excited to get to do all that too, even if it means scrubbing out poop. =)