June 1, 2009

Can you believe it is already the year 2023? I'm still writing '22 on everything! It seems like only yesterday that I was sitting in the first grade and celebrating the change to a new century.

I know we really haven't chatted since Christmas, Mom, and I'm sorry. Anyway, I have some difficult news to share with you and, to be honest, I really didn't want to call or talk about this face to face.

But before I get to that, let me report that Ted just got a big promotion, and I should be up for a hefty raise this year if I keep putting in all those crazy hours. You know how I work at it. (Yes, we're still struggling to pay the bills.)

Little Timmy's been okay at kindergarten, although he complains about going. But then, he wasn't happy about the day-care center either. So what can we do?

He's been a real problem, Mom. He's a good kid, but quite honestly, he's an unfair burden on us at this time in our lives.

Ted and I have talked this through, and we have finally made a choice. Plenty of other families have made the same choice and are really better off today.

Our pastor is supportive of our choice. He pointed out the family is a system, and the demands of one member shouldn't be allowed to ruin the whole. The pastor told us to be prayerful and to consider all the factors as to what is right to make our family work. He says that even though he probably wouldn't do it himself, the choice really is ours. He was kind enough to refer us to a children's clinic near here, so at least that part is easy.

Don't get me wrong, Mom. I'm not an uncaring mother. I do feel sorry for the little guy. I think he heard Ted and me talking about this the other night. I turned and saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs in his PJ's with his little teddy bear that you gave him under his arm, and his eyes were sort of welled up with tears.

Mom, the way he looked at me just about broke my heart, but I honestly believe this is better for Timmy, too. It's just not fair to force him to live in a family that can't give him the time and attention he deserves.

And please, Mom, don't give me the kind of grief that grandma gave you over your abortions. It's the same thing, you know. There's really no difference.

We've told Timmy he's just going in for a "vaccination." Anyway, they say the termination procedure is painless. I guess it's just as well that you haven't seen that much of little Timmy lately.