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This is really good, very sweet. There were some spots where it seemed like the flow was off some, but it can be easily fixed by reading it aloud. Keep writing, you obviously have much potential and I'd be intrested in reading more of your work.

believe me when i say that this will be sure to be in the magazine. i would very much appreciate someone of such a beautiful gift to comment on my poem. (if i had one wish i wish i would write and capture the beauty of life like you)