I do a lot of cardio..always have. But lifting is the bomb. I have just had a hard time focusing with my current lay off and family issues and getting caught up in "the food". I hate losing weight,so I stay manic about my food. But I always wish I were 5 lbs lighter. Crazy stuff.

Will have my daughter take a pic of back and arms before she goes back to her dad's for the week. I am super stale and flat and the board is so keeping me on my toes. Anyone reading, thank you for sharing your journey as well..keeps me only toes! Blessings!

BLEW OFF CARDIO. Ate gluten/fat free brownies (egg whites- my bad, but I am right now as my intestines are bad again and I am not eating much of anything w/ out doubling over in pain- so---a whole container of VEGA I can't use--will give to my mentor in life- a 67 year old ultra marathoner that still kayaks, lifts and just this year switched from running to walking as he risks having his ankle fused, and screws his GF regularly- she is 64 and runs 8 miles a DAY---)so, sporadic egg whites, but they make me wanna vomit as well ---doing l glutamine and drinking lots of kombucha and avoiding all raw , anything w/ seeds and o grains when I am like this and nut butters have to be finely ground- its bad---but, life goes on....the brownies go down smooth. as well as potatoes and limited amounts of tofu...<sigh>wanted to blow my work out off entirely, but I DID it, cause losers quit- WINNERS don't! so small as it was...I did it!

yup on the Gastro; I choose not to treat the IBS with anything--and I could have had my intestines ripped apart and resewn back in November--I thought it way too invasive as well as there was a 5% chance it wouldn't work---so, I chose the hernia ( worthless surgery as I look back now), and so choose diet and a minimalist approach to treating---for now. Thanks for the thought!

Again, thank you and aw shucks. I got stopped by Men (boys- mid 30's- ha!) at the gym....I feel BIG...and yet all week I have been hearing how great I look. Hmmm

Workout part two: So crowded so I had to make do with what I could and I only had 25-30 mins-50 push upsIncline press 3x10 w/ 20 # ( all that was available)Supine press 3x10 w/ bar and 5# on ea side..I trashed the anterior part of my right deltoid..like ow-ieDumbbell fly's 2x10 w/15#Assisted dips...my shoulder was screaming so wussy mega assisted 3x101 arm skull crushers w/10#-see excuse above 3x10Tri ceps pull downs w/ rope 3x10 80# on the stack...but...ehhhhhhAgain..I did it...25 mins hard...and the trainer/sales guy made sure to tell me he thought I looked great. My ego needed that....but I can't buy it too long! But...guys are starting to notice me again...have been in such a black cloud..I think they always have....but the cloud is not as dark these days...can see light. It's nice. I can't wait till its so bright...I need sunglasses!

Regrouping. No work out. Job/career day...got two consulting offers, but no FT job. Hmmmmmmmm. I need to work -my headspace is in the poopers right now...so trying to work thru the valley of the I-don't-want-to. Perhaps FR.

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