[Dialogue intro]You know old friendWe've been together for a long long timeWe've eaten ice creamPlayed little leagueSmoked our first cigarette together.But there's something I have to tell youIt's really important that I tell you nowBefore you hear it from someone elseSo I hope, it's okay with you?...

I love your momAnd I don't care who knowsShe looks good in her fishnet pantyhose.I love your momYeah it's the truthWe once got busy in a telephone booth.

Don't be so sadI'll let you call me dadDon't be so sadI'll let you call me dad

I love your momYeah the rumors are trueWe've been going out for about a year or two.I love your momYeah she gives good headI'm sorry to say we've done it in your bed.