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TRUMP AND NIGEL FARAGE, TWO PEAS IN A POD: Nigel Farage describing Donald Trump’s lewd sex talk as “the kind of thing, if we are being honest, that men do,” was not accidental or out-of-character, according to journalist Christopher Silvester. Silvester recounts in Private Eye magazine how, at a recent party in London, Farage told him: “I like Marine Le Pen. I’ve met her. I’ve had dinner with her. But I can’t support her party, because it’s a Vichyite rump and anti-Semitic.” Followed by: “I think Marine wants to f—k me, you know. I think she wants to f—k me.” http://politi.co/2d7yeRA

HOLLANDE’S LAST, LONELY MONTHS IN THE ELYSEE PALACE: “The mood at the Élysée Palace reflects his gloomy prospects. Aides are scrambling for the exit in sometimes desperate searches for more permanent jobs. At times, the Élysée blues become so unbearable that some of the president’s associates help themselves through the day with short bursts of half-convinced hope that maybe — just maybe — the boss stands a chance of pulling off an upset.”http://politi.co/2dT5Uk7

NICOLA STURGEON: SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE MUST BE ON THE TABLE. Scotland’s first minister writes in an opinion piece for POLITICO: “Scotland is a European nation … But Scotland’s distinctive relationship with Europe is under threat as never before … Voters chose to remain in Europe by a 24-point margin … What makes this all the more troubling is that the U.K. government has no mandate for a ‘hard Brexit.’

“The Conservative Party’s manifesto, on which May’s predecessor David Cameron was elected in 2015, gave full, unequivocal backing to continued membership in the single market … The SNP will muster all the political muscle we have — at Westminster and in Scotland — together with other like-minded voices from across the political spectrum in order to try to prevent the ‘hard Brexit’ that the U.K. government now seems hell-bent on.” http://politi.co/2d8s4kf

COUNCIL — JUSTICE, HOME AFFAIRS MINISTERS MEET TODAY: Belgium’s State Secretary for Migration Theo Francken will try to get EU countries excited about a scheme called Eurescrim, designed to fight cross-border criminality. Under the scheme, EU countries can more easily deport migrants if they commit crimes. It would apply to non-nationals with EU residence permits in one country who are convicted of crimes in another country. The scheme has been tested between Spain and Belgium since 2014, with Belgian authorities passing 119 files to Spain, leading to 67 withdrawn residence permits, ministry figures show. Francken has been touring to drum up support, and today will be a test of his efforts. Agenda here http://bit.ly/2dXsGZL

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JUNCKER AND RENZI AGREE BRATISLAVA SUMMIT WAS A FLOP: Italian PM Matteo Renzi believes European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker agrees with him in his frustrations over the September Bratislavan summit. “Authoritative commentators have said the Italian behavior after Bratislava was wrong and out of place. After less than a week, Juncker went to an official institutional seat [the European Parliament] to use those same words and give the same judgment that we have given,” Renzi said. Brace yourself for next week’s EU28 summit, an Italian diplomat advised Playbook. ANSA: http://bit.ly/2e8AuUD

THE LATEST TUSK TEMPERATURE TEST: Donald Tusk’s Polish nemesis Jaroslaw Kaczyński continues to needle him about his presidency of the European Council. “Someone like Donald Tusk should no longer be president of the European Council. I’m deeply convinced that it would be negative for the European Union,” Kaczyński told the Polish Press Agency Wednesday in the latest shot at Tusk.

While Tusk isn’t likely to be dislodged by his nemesis, his support among EU member countries remains lukewarm, a POLITICO survey of 18 EU governments showed.

Tusk’s vision of the EU is “too dark,” diplomats from several major countries agree, but the majority in the Council have a reality check to offer. A group of smaller countries really wants Tusk to stay, with the Czech Republic chief among those. “We very much prefer him to stay. We think he’s doing a very good job,” said Tomas Prouza, the country’s state secretary for European affairs. Meanwhile, a German Socialist adviser admits: “Merkel desperately needs Tusk to control and keep calm eastern countries. She will never allow him to fall. She would rather sell off the presidency of the Parliament in order to keep Tusk alive.” Playbook’s story here: http://politi.co/2dXPVAS

COMMISSION — SECURITY UNION PROGRESS: New Security Union Commissioner Julian King launched the first of a monthly series of progress reports on the Commission’s efforts to beef up EU-wide security policy. The press materials (http://bit.ly/2dXsKse) read more like a to-do list for the Commission and national governments than anything else.

The Commission has identified (but not listed) an extra set of substances that can be used to make explosives. The plan is to add them to a list of controlled substances in November. Cyprus, France, Luxembourg and Spain have two months to get their reporting of controlled substances in order, or face court action, according to the Commission. A reminder: it launched infringement procedures against the governments of Croatia, Greece, Ireland, Italy and Portugal for failing to allow other EU governments to search their DNA analysis files, fingerprint identification systems and vehicle registration databases (the so-called Prüm decisions, which should have been implemented fully by August 2011).

JOSÉ BOVÉ AND THE CANADIAN BORDER: French Prime Minister Manuel Valls probably wasn’t expecting to be stuck talking about a radical MEP from his country Wednesday, and yet he was, after José Bové was held for four hours at the Canadian border on arrival for an anti-CETA event. After causing a minor diplomatic incident, the Canadian authorities eventually gave him a “special visa.” Harry Cooper and Hans von der Burchard http://politi.co/2dXlOLK

**Today: Watch POLITICO’s second “Annual Data Summit: Harnessing the Power of the Digital Revolution”, presented by Telefónica. The event starts at 2 p.m. with an interview with Andrus Ansip, European Commission vice-president for the Digital Single Market. To find out more, visit our website**

DISABILITY RIGHTS LAW STUCK IN THE EU MUD: An Accessibility Act, meant to make all products and services accessible for disabled people, remains tangled in EU institutional in-fighting nine months after it was proposed. That’s bad news for the 80 million Europeans living with disabilities. Harry Cooper: http://politi.co/2dXnapH

WHAT GERMANS WILL BE TALKING ABOUT TODAY: A Syrian terror suspect committed suicide in prison, days after being overpowered and turned in to police by three fellow Syrians over an alleged Berlin terror plot. Louise Roug: http://politi.co/2dXszvc

NORWAY SIGNS AGREEMENT WITH ROMANIA WORTH €500 MILLION: The price of single market access for Norway is €2.8 billion in funding for the next five years. A chunk of this was allocated to Romania on Wednesday via a bilateral negotiation between the country and the Norwegian government. The grant makes Norway the largest single bilateral donor state to Romania, with funds focused on local development, renewable energy and Roma inclusion. The programs will be implemented with Norwegian businesses and ministries such as the Norwegian Water Resources and Energy Directorate, Innovation Norway and the Research Council of Norway. “What’s good for Europe is also good for Norway,” Elisabeth Vik Aspaker, the country’s European affairs minister, told Playbook. ”This is our most important market. We think this is a win-win situation.”

LITHUANIA — RUSSIA IS CREATING AN ‘ATMOSPHERE OF TENSION’: Heads of state are expected to discuss sanctions against Russia next week, with Baltic leaders the most hawkish, despite their economies being the most affected. “We have to talk about the [1987] Nuclear Forces Treaty being violated,” Linas Linkevičius, Lithuania’s foreign minister, told Playbook, pointing out that the nuclear-capable Iskander missiles stationed last week in Kaliningrad by Russia have been modified to have a range of up to 700 kilometers. “They’ve deliberately done this to increase tension. It’s bullying, bluffing, intimidating … Reviewing or lifting sanctions would be a very big defeat … It’s the only leverage we are using to keep pressure on Russia. To talk about lifting sanctions would be premature.”

Persuading other EU ambassadors that this is the case falls to youthful Jovita Neliupšienė, Lithuania’s permanent representative to the EU and one-time adviser to President Dalia Grybauskaitė. “Of course they’re listening, because we have a bit more knowledge with dealing with Russia,” she told Playbook. Russia’s strategy “was not so obvious for other member states,” she said, “and it was complicated to explain this.”

RUSSIA SANCTIONS — STRONGEST OPPONENTS ARE THE LEAST AFFECTED: You know the group of European governments howling loudly about the need to end U.S. and EU sanctions imposed on Russia in 2014? Several of them — notably Greece, Slovenia and Italy — are among the countries least hurt by the sanctions in terms of trade, according to a new report by the Graduate Institute of International and Development Studies Geneva, commissioned by Rasmussen Global, which advises the Ukranian government. And the countries among the most supportive of the sanctions — Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland — “were among the countries suffering the most harm from the sanctions, as well as Moscow’s retaliatory trade embargo, which banned most EU food imports,” according to the report. Zoya Sheftalovich: http://politi.co/2dKM8rX

LATVIA — LAWMAKERS REACH OUT TO US CONGRESS IN HOPES OF ACHIEVING A COUNTERWEIGHT TO TRUMP: “Concern over Trump runs so deep that Latvian lawmakers have started to reach out to Republicans in Congress (including Mitch McConnell and Tom Cotton), eager to build support among a constituency that might be a forceful counterweight to the would-be president’s isolationist impulses.” http://wapo.st/2e2ir3i

FRANCE — SARKOZY HUNTING SEASON: “Official hunting season for Nicolas Sarkozy kicks off on Thursday, 9 p.m. Paris time. That’s when the former French president steps into the arena for a live TV debate that will pit him against six former underlings and bygone allies.” Nicholas Vinocur: http://politi.co/2dL2f92

CITIZEN CAMERON IS HERE TO SERVE YOU: Former British Prime Minister David Cameron has a new gig with the National Citizen Service, an organization that encourages British teenagers to work with their communities. http://politi.co/2dXrjde

COPYRIGHT — INSIDERS SLAM COMMISSION’S PLANS: The European Commission’s copyright reforms fall short, according to representatives from media and technology companies, academics and politicians who make up POLITICO’s Copyright Caucus. The insiders heavily criticized the proposed changes, with four-fifths describing them as “unfit for the 21st century.” http://politi.co/2dLcZ60

FOREIGN POLICY — IS GENDERED DIPLOMACY A RISK? Jeremy Shapiro for the European Council on Foreign Relations (ECFR) says it is one of the risks of a Hillary Clinton U.S. presidency. The ECFR went so far as to suggest in the PR for the report that “even if Hillary is elected, the transatlantic relationship could face difficult challenges. In particular, her feminist worldview and poor relations with Moscow could threaten transatlantic unity on Russia.” http://bit.ly/2dXs31Z

Presidential transition playbook: The process of creating an incoming administration has been formalized through law in recent years. Here’s all you need to know from POLITICO: http://bit.ly/2dJAxJD

BRUSSELS CORNER …

NGO ALLIANCE: SDG Watch Europe, an NGO alliance set up to ensure the EU sticks to its sustainable development goals, will be launched this evening at the North Rhine-Westphalia Representation, Rue Montoyer 47, from 6 p.m. Vice President Frans Timmermans will give a speech. http://bit.ly/2dRLd8j

THE RIGHT TO BE REMEMBERED: Vodafone organized surprise drinks for James Kanter, Brussels correspondent for the New York Times, Wednesday night. The fries were served to guests wrapped in one of his stories about Google … from 2014. PIC: http://politi.co/2dNaTWV h/t Rut Rey

PIMMS O’CLOCK FOR THE ECR GROUP: The third-biggest party in the European Parliament held its annual reception Wednesday night, and the room was brimming with confidence and Pimms cocktails. It was, to Playbook’s surprise, also a quite diverse crowd, which is a change from the nearly all-white environments EU institutions usually serve up.

Syed Kamall, the group leader, dismissed suggestions the ECR was headed for division as Brexit unfolded, telling the crowd: “In 2009 the FT predicted we would last only three months. We will continue to grow. The EU has to change and we will help make that change.”

THE STANDING MEN ART INSTALLATION: Playbook fielded many reactions to yesterday’s suggestion the ‘standing men’ installation at Parliament is creepy. EU Panel Watch noticed the total absence of women, calling it another all male panel. POLITICO’s Craig Winneker told one critic: “Who says great art can’t be creepy? It’s what made Dali and Bosch and Bacon so compelling.” And one of the organizers, Adam Mouchter, wrote: “Do you know how much tender love and care goes into an exhibition like the standing men? This is now the second time that we, as EU40, try to bring some art into the dry politics of the EP, and you guys ridicule it … For two days on the esplanade everyone has been astonished with the beauty of the exhibition.”

DIVERSITY POINTS: Amazon, at an event called Amazon Academy today, will host five women across two panels, a female moderator, and a female opening speaker.

NEW GIGS:Robert Madelin has signed-on for a part-time strategy role at FIPRA, and will be a visiting cyber research fellow at Oxford University. Madelin will continue his pro bono work with health and innovation groups, and will stay on with the World Economic Forum.

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