It was like everyone in the room was holding their collective breath. Ray was looking Gerard directly in the eye waiting for the storm of anger.
Gerard stared at him not blinking. Finally he spoke in a deadly calm voice. "You told her I didn't love her and never wanted to see the baby?
Ray didn't break eye contact, "Yea, that's what I did and I've been living with my decision ever since, just waiting."
Gerard's anger seemed to lessen just slightly. "Man, I can't believe you would do that. I thought you were my friend."
Frank spoke up, "He is your friend, Gee. We all are. I can't honestly say I wouldn't have done the same thing. After the woman had fucked with you, caused you to almost end your own life. Shit, Gee do you remember how fucked up you were? Did you forget how she treated you? Have you forgotten the person you were when you were with her? Fuck, we haven't."
Mikey couldn't be silent anymore, "Gee, you almost died and I would have died too. How can you blame Ray for not telling you? That night at the Christmas Gala when I saw her there, fuck, I went crazy. I didn't want you to see her." He looked over at Monica and gave her a sad smile. He knew how hard this was for her too.
Gerard looked at Mikey, "Mikey I love you but how can you stand there and say it was fucking OK for Ray to make a decision like that?"
"Gee sometimes we make decisions that we know are best for someone else cause it's the right thing" Mikey answered.
Gerard shook his head, "No, I can't fucking accept that. It was one thing not to tell me he saw her, that was fucking bad enough. But to lie to her and tell her something I never said? Fuck that is messed up."
"Let it go" Frank told him, "Just fucking let it go, it's in the past. Bring pissed at Ray or for that fact all of us won't change anything. None of us could stand the thought of losing you again. Ray is right, a year ago you would have run back to the bitch."
"Don't call her that," Gerard screamed at him.
Everyone in the room was shocked. Jamia walked over to Monica and put her arm around her waist. Gerard saw and his face fell. "Monica, I'm sorry." was all he could say. He turned and quickly left the room.
Alicia moved over to Monica and Jamia to add her support, "His brain is just fucked up by what Ray told him. He loves you"
They were both surprised when Monica answered, "Yea, he does. But he is going to have to deal with this before we can move foreword together."
Ray reached out and took her hand. He gently pulled her down to sit with him. "Listen, I knew I had to tell him and I knew how he would react. Monica don't tell him you sent Bert to talk to her. He is pissed enough and he needs you. More now than ever. You're right he does have to deal with this but with you at his side. Don't let him push you away. You have only heard from us what his life was like with Liv, all of us lived it. She tore him down made him hate himself. If I had to do it again I would still make the same decision not to tell him. If I hadn't known and she came to me today then fuck yea I would have told him. He is a different person now. But then..."He trailed off lost in memories of the hell that Gerard's life had been.
Jamia sat down too "Look, Gee was lost in a world of alcohol, drugs and pain. Liv held him down tight in that world. All of us just watched not knowing what to do."
"It's so fucking hard to watch someone you love slowly dying" Mikey said sadly, "He was fading and we couldn't seem to stop it."
Monica looked at him and asked, "How did it stop? How did he finally break from her?"
The uncomfortable silence gave her the answer. "He didn't break from her, she left him didn't she?" Why she had never realized this?
Frank answered, "One day she got up and just left him. Didn't even take her stuff from their apartment. He woke up alone and that was it."
"For the first few weeks he got worse. He looked everywhere for her. One night I went to his apartment and he was so wasted he didn't even know me. I tried to help him off the floor and he hit me. My brother had never hit me before in his life. Not even when we were little and fought did he physically hit me."
Alicia put her arms around Mikey and hugged him tight. He continued, "I guess I was so shocked I just sat there looking at him with blood running down my face. I don't know how but suddenly he looked at me and really saw me. He started crying. Telling me he was sorry. Asking me to help him."
"Monica you gotta help him." Ray said simply. He took her hand in his, "He needs you"
She realized they were all looking at her, "What if he won't let me?" she whispered.
Ray squeezed her hand tightly, "Then you do it anyway. I know how much you love him. I know how much you have been through in your life so I know what a strong woman you are. He love's you Monica never doubt that. You are his fucking soul mate. But he's confused and feels betrayed by one of his best friends right now. He needs you."
All eyes were on her. She forced a smile she didn't feel, "Gee, never gave up on me and I won't give up on him. If Liv thinks she can get him back she will have a fucking fight on her hands."
Alicia rushed up and hugged her, "Shit, that's it."
Monica retuned the hug then leaned over to hug Ray. "It will all be OK.," she whispered in his ear. "Now I'm gonna go find him." She walked out of the room trying to look confident but feeling apprehensive. She went to the bus first and that is where she found him. He was lying on his bunk when she walked in. Monica's heart sank when she saw him. In his hand was the picture of him and Liv, he was staring at it and hadn't noticed her come in.