Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hurry Up and Wait

We've been waiting for the thoracic surgeon to call and schedule Don's thymectomy for 1 1/2 weeks now, and I'm tired of waiting!! If I didn't think the surgery might improve his symptoms (which have worsened a little in recent days), I'd just vote for scratching the whole thing. After all, we have no promise of improvement - just a hope. I wonder what would have happened if, on Don's consultation day, we had called and said we were busy with other things and probably wouldn't be able to get back to him for, ohhhhh, about two weeks! Don't think that would fly.

This teaches me something about myself (AGAIN!). I let myself get too impatient with people and circumstances over which I have no control. Why waste the energy? If I'm going to get upset, why not let it be over things that I can actually change? If I've learned anything in the last five years, it's that my thinking affects my attitude more than I might have realized. Oh, yes, I know the Bible says that (for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. . .), but now I'm finally learning to apply the concept. What relief! I find I'm much less stressed and have fewer bad headaches than ever before in my life. In fact, when I actually "lose it", I'm miserable - both physically and spiritually.

So, as I not-so-patiently wait for the call from the surgeon to schedule Don's procedure, I'll try to do so without getting myself in a turmoil. I don't like it. I wish things were different. But, I'll deal with it.