Joe Biden: Is it true you want to replace me with Hillary for 2012?Barack Obama: Nonsense, Joe! She's the exact opposite of you. I'd never go for someone like that.Joe Biden: What do you mean?Barack Obama: You make me look good by comparison and no one would risk getting rid of me with you there.Joe Biden: Thanks, Barry! That's the nicest thing anyone ever... Hey, wait a second!

Subject: FW: Maxine's Solution to Senior Health Care Under the Obama Care Program

Maxine's Solution to Senior Health Care

Under the "Obama Care" Program

So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do?Ourplan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. (And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore. IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

Following the devastating earthquake in Haiti , the United States rushed in to help - with money, medicine, and manpower. To date, we've already given over $179 million in humanitarian aid... but Barack Obama has just ordered all U.S. installations to take down their American flags, lest we be seen as an "occupying army" rather than "international partners."

It is patently appalling that a president of the United States would consider our flag to be a symbol of militaristic takeovers and colonialism, especially when serving (to a greater degree than any other nation on Earth) a humanitarian purpose.Additionally, who would think we'd want to occupy Haiti ?!

No other country giving aid in Haiti has lowered its flag. But then again, no other country has a leader who is offended by their own flag

The New O-land security terror color code!Green: Naive: Terrorists: Can we talk?Blue: Misguided: Release Gitmo terroristsYellow: Insane: Bow before Saudi kingOrange: Epie Fail: Is that a bomb in your underwear or do you have gas?Red: Kaboom!: Bush's fault

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick.He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,"There's some coverage here that you'll need by your side.So I'm taking it home to Washington, my dear,I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her on the head.And he got her a drink and sent her to bed.