Astrologers have searched the sky for answers to many of life's biggest questions for centuries: What's my purpose? Is all this kale making me healthy? Is this the year I meet the lumbersexual of my dreams?

Ready or not: Brace yourself for the last Mercury Retrograde cycle of 2014. This time around Mercury will backpedal through two signs, offering us an opportunity to re-evaluate more than one area of our lives.

From August 23 to September 22, the Sun journeys through the serious sign of the Virgin, signaling a collective focus on work, health, service and skill-building. Virgo can have workaholic and hyper-critical tendencies, so remember to pay attention to what is working in your life, even while attending to what needs improvement.

Almost every day, my mother would call me and read my "horrible scope," as she called it. She was convinced she could predict my day by reading it. Sometimes, she would miss a day, and the next day she would call and claim she knew what I did yesterday.

There are justifications galore all across social media and praises showered in Biblical proportions. But I am still not sure how it affects the daily lives of over a billion people in India who have no access to healthcare, water, sanitation, electricity, food and social security.

The planets align to give you the drive to complete any task. You will be a lot happier if you clean your room and wash your dishes. And yes, your roommate paid the universe a great deal to say this but seriously, bro, you are dirty.

The Sun and Mercury will be hiding in your 2nd Guest House. Make sure not to over do it. Rest physically and relax mentally, use this as a doctor's note from the Universe and give it to your boss. You will have plenty of free time soon enough.

Connect with a person next to you on the Art Basel Shuttle Bus. He or she might have a piece of wisdom to share that will change your life forever like "Mailboxes are actually robots eating your dreams sent to us from Mars..." Maybe, next time take a taxi.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) -- You may find your wheels are spinning and you are going nowhere fast. Just remember to step back and realize that the chain on your bicycle has been broken for three months. Take it to get fixed.