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#SupportingFamilies: Breathing Tips to Steady You in Unsteady Times

Sandy Abrams says posture can play a big role in breathing, and that throwing out your arms like a superhero (with a big, deep breath) can make you feel empowered. PHOTO COURTESY SANDY ABRAMS

When was the last time you took a deep breath? If you’re
like many of us, it’s been a minute. Stressful times (like when you are
quarantined at home with your kids) make most of us resort to shallow breathing
– or even holding our breath.

This can lead to low-grade chronic stress, says Sandy Abrams, who specializes in sharing breathing tips in the corporate world and is the author of “Breathe to Succeed.” Abrams first discovered the power of breathing during her yoga practice, and quickly found it helpful in both business and at home. “I started to use the power of breath in parenting for all sorts of different applications, like patience and being present,” says the mom of two sons.

She says one myth about meditation is that we need to sit
for long periods of time and master the art of stillness to benefit from it.
“As a parent, that’s not possible frequently,” Abrams says. “The good news is
that we can meditate in small snippets throughout the day, and I mean 30
seconds, 60 seconds, 90 seconds. Three deep breaths? That is meditation.” Think
of it as a simple way to regroup when life throws you a curve.

Start your day in an empowered way with what Abrams calls “beverage and breath.” Most of us like to enjoy a cup of something (coffee, tea, hot chocolate) to start the day, even when the morning is chaotic. Create a morning ritual by setting an intention for the day, holding your warm cup, closing your eyes and taking three deep breaths. “Find in that small moment a sort of meditation to empower yourself for the day,” she suggests.

A more specific (but still simple) technique is to inhale through your nose. “If you just take one deep breath through your nose, you’re connected to that part of your brain that regulates emotion, and then it’s up to you to decide how you need to feel,” says Abrams. Exhale and feel calm, confident or empowered.

Or, for an immediate sense of relaxation, make your exhales
longer than your inhales. “You can count to an inhale of four, and then on your
exhale, six or eight,” says Abrams. “And you will start to calm.”

You can teach all of these breathing techniques to your kids.
(Abrams’ sons are 22 and 24 and still use the methods she taught them when they
were little.) If your pupils are skeptics, she suggests having them search
online, where they will quickly find the science behind each method.

A morning coffee ritual that includes a few deep breaths can help set the tone for your day.

One of Abrams’ favorite breathing methods to use with kids
is Lion’s Breath. This one immediately purges negative energy – and makes
everyone laugh. Just close your eyes, take in a deep breath through your nose,
then snap your eyes and mouth open wide as you stick out your tongue and
breathe out with a roaring sound. Afterward, enjoy the giggles. “Laughter is a
great thing to do with your children,” Abrams says. “Laughter is breath,
too.”

To close all the “open tabs” you have running in your brain
and tap into creativity, try Bumblebee Breath. Close your eyes and take a long,
deep inhale. Close your ears with your thumbs and use your fingers to gently
cover your eyes. For the whole length of an exhale, make a humming/buzzing sound
like a bee. “After one or two rounds of that, you just breathe normally for a
few rounds and then you open your eyes, and you’ve got that blank slate you
need for creativity,” says Abrams.

One of the most powerful things about these breathing tools
is their flexibility. “Use them in a way that works for you,” Abrams urges. “You
can use them for any sort of energy, from calming to empowering. How you think
and feel is a choice. We should empower our kids and our teens to understand
that when you’re feeling frustrated, or negative, or angry or scared, whatever
it is, you have the power within you to change that. You don’t need an
instructor. You don’t need a class. Breath levels the playing field for
everyone. It always delivers.”