The raptors get's hungry after hunting some humans so they decide to eat one of there ones. you all sit down and play a game of ludo where the looser gets eaten. you loose.

I was going to use the man that has only been beaten once and is like a god to us all but apparently the mod's don't like that so instead I find an army of daleks that begins to exterminate every raptor while I am sitting in the Tardis and chilling.

Raptors aren't monotheists, and believe you to be the god of lies. Given that Raptors hate being lied to, they eat you out of spite.

I am Rand al'Thor, hear me roar.

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

The raptors trick you into looking at another weeping angel, using a blue box and two expendable human characters, which they will eat afterwards.

I am Adipose.

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

While watching TV one day, you see an ad for Jurassic Park 4. The ad is so lifelike that velociraptors literally jump out of the screen and eat you.I bribe the Dungeon Master into getting rid of the raptors. With delicious ice cream sandwiches.

The Raptors experience 5 thousand years of history basically mirroring human history. After WW2 the greatest raptor generation raises the baby raptor boomers which devolve in to the raptor hippie movement. The raptor hippies will act like moral relativity is the greatest thing ever and shun civility. Unfortunately time travel is invented by then so they take a time machine back and kill you for introducing civility to their ancestors in the first place.

I seal myself in a stasis bubble with all I will ever nead to survive until well after the end of time so that I outwait all the raptors.

Pfhorrest wrote:As someone who is not easily offended, I don't really mind anything in this conversation.

Raptor Simon Cowell, with his sharp wit, bursts your stasis bubble, by calling you talentless. You are then eaten by the raptors in the audience of Food's Got Talent.

I accidentally digitize myself, and I get into a Tron-like world, with no way of getting back.

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

There are digital raptors in the digital world, who digitally eat you.

I trap all the raptors as actors in a TV-show called "My little raptor: bloodlust is science". Thus I get a raptor-free world, lots of money from the show, and lots of fame for stopping the raptor invasion.

The show is eventually cancelled as the writers run out of ideas and the original audiance finds the new episodes not true to the original. The raptors are let go and proceed with a delayed but equally unexpected invasion.

I escape (from raptors).

Pfhorrest wrote:As someone who is not easily offended, I don't really mind anything in this conversation.

Sadly you missed the raptor that was hiding just around the corner, and he's now picking his teeth with a splinter of your ribs.

I'll just start a new life, where they'll never find... you know where? Underground!

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

Raptors really hate cheaters. They hunt you down, and lock you up in a god-mode proof prison, where you wile away your days, slowly going mad for the lack of interaction with other people for all eternity!

I turn myself invisible, making sure I never bump into any raptors, nor step on anything that might give away my position.

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

The raptors reverse engineer your hover-board. With their newfound technology, the last of human resistance crumbles before them. And the resistance was doing pretty well until then, too. What have you done Chewbaccawacca? WHAT? HAVE? YOU? DONE????!!?2!2?12?!?2?

I show the raptors reruns of "My little raptor: Bloodlust is Science" to distract them while I flee. I repeat this every time the raptors come too close.

Martians invade and after a couple days contract your disease and die en mass. Living in a raptor society leaves you with little to no infrastructure to dispose of the dead bodies lying strewn around willy-nilly. Consequently many humans die from the ensuing filth and general malaise resulting from the xenocidal massacre and excess of rotting flesh lying around.

I escape with a bio-dome attached to a space ship! But the twist! We launch into space fly around the planet and land under the ocean where none can find us!

Not all who wander ar...blah blah blah, basically I want to be cool like Aragorn.

The water pressure proves to be too much for your biodome, and it starts leaking. You die in a watery grave.

/me hides in the ISS

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

The raptors make a deal with the giant cyborg scorpions, and offer you to them to clear their debts. The scorpions integrate your computer components into their bodies. They digest your OS software and use it to seed their random number generators.

I play the cards Platinum Angel and put Indestructibility on it. That's http://gatherer.wizards.com/pages/card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=190568 and http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=206329 . I put my life into the game so that I won't die with them in play. I play without time limits.

The meat was rotten, and many raptors die before they realize this. But then they smell your fresh meat smell, and charge you. RIP Evengeduld, no more waiting for you.

I give each and every raptor a smartphone with Angry Birds preinstalled. They'll be so engrossed in the game that they'll forget all about me.

:)

You are carrying: - a slightly paranoid Android- two left feet (not my own)- a still unfed and very hungry hippo- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

There are no fluids for you to drink; you die of thirst within a few days.

I write the Terms of Eating, a binding contract that everyone has to enter in order to be allowed eating me. The contract states among other things that I personally can decide the time and method of death, and I choose dying of old age.