I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as sacrificing oneself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I
sacrifice myself for others, that it means that I am a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I must be like Jesus and sacrifice myself so that others don’t have to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply accept the idea that people who sacrifice themselves so others don’t have to suffer are noble heroes that should be applauded for their goodness and selflessness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise
and understand that self-sacrifice is just another form of self-sabotage
and doesn’t really bring any actual solutions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that
in sacrificing myself so others don’t have to suffer, I am allowing
myself to carry other people’s burdens – burdens that they have created
themselves and are for them to face – where I will then carry everyone
else’s burden so that others may be relieved within the idea and belief
that: “It is better that just one person suffers a lot than that many
people suffer a little.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that playing the self-sacrifice character is just another way to
get into someone’s good graces – thinking that: “if I do this for that
person, that person will like me – or at least feel grateful or guilty
and feel like he/she has to now repay me by doing me a favour or by
being my friend.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that self-sacrifice is actually done from the starting point of
self-interest – so that other people will see me as ‘good’ and then, I
can feel good about myself – and/or, so that it is easier to get people
to do things for me, because good people deserve to get what they want –
and more.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that the self-sacrifice character is one of the most
manipulative and disgraceful characters of all – because in apparently
being absolutely innocent and selfless – the reasoning behind
self-sacrificing acts is always within self-interest and never has
anything to do with actually assisting other beings.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that
in doing things for someone else, I am not actually assisting or
supporting them in any way whatsoever – I am doing them a disservice,
because if they had done the point/walked the point for themselves, they
might have realised something or expanded themselves in some way – and
thus, in sacrificing myself I am actually only taking opportunities away
from others for self-growth, self-honesty
and self-correction – just so I can feel good about myself – supporting
their resistance instead of who they are as life as who they are able
and capable of being.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that
in sacrificing myself I am actually only supporting another’s
self-limitation – and thus, accepting that self-limitation within myself
as well.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
to say ‘no’ when the point of self-sacrifice comes up because I fear
that it is a bad thing not to want to sacrifice myself for others – and
that, Jesus did it, therefore I shouldn’t have a problem with it either.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to say ‘no’
when the point of self-sacrifice comes up, because I don’t want others
do dislike me for not having taken their burdens.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy people’s
friendships with ‘apparent acts of kindness’ – and believe it to be
normal and okay.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that every single friendship has always been based within manipulation of getting another person to like me vice versa.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within trying to
get to know a person – think that I have to be friends with them, and
thus, that they have to ‘approve’ me as their friend – and therefore,
try to ‘score points’ with them in who/how I am towards them so that
they will like me and approve me as a member of their friendsclub –
instead of just being here and spending time with the person without assuming I need their permission to be in their presence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe
that I cannot just be with people, but that they must give me some kind
of permission for me to be around them/speak with them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always place
myself in an inferior position to someone that seems interesting/someone
I think I might enjoy spending time
with – and therefore, wait to be ‘invited’ into their space, instead of
realising and accepting myself as equal as this person and simply being
here and sharing my hereness with this other person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always wait for
permission to speak when I am among ‘strangers’ or people I don’t know
well – because I feel like my presence might be unwanted and therefore, I
rather just sit in the background, unnoticed, while still being able to
hear
everything that’s being said, than say something that is not
‘well-received’ and then people realising I am there and thinking they’d
prefer I wasn’t.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that self-sacrifice is basically self-compromise, where I will compromise myself to make another feel better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self-compromise to exist within and as me – instead of seeing and realising that self-compromise is never a solution to anything and therefore, unacceptable as it creates unnecessary harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself in the name of friendships – because I thought
and believed that without friends I was nobody in any case – therefore,
sacrificing myself for friends makes sense – because friends will make
me ‘count’, will make me ‘be someone’, will validate me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that if I sacrifice myself, there is nothing left to be
validated in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself
from others and from validation, by looking for validation within others
and defining validation in separation for myself as ‘something others
must give me’ – instead of simply validating myself as being here – I am
here – therefore, I exist, therefore I don’t need anyone else to ‘make
me into someone’.

About the author

I started walking a process of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, writing and self-corrective action after watching videos on YouTube by Desteni in 2007. This was the first and only time that I found a self-help method to really be effective and I am standing by these principles to this day. I currently live and assist on the Desteni Farm. For more information on Desteni and this process, visit www.desteni.org.