Online Dating Terminology For The Uninitiated

Since dating apps exploded into the public consciousness only a handful of years ago, it seems like everyone is clued in on the new dating landscape. But for people only just entering this whole new world, perhaps after a break-up or simply getting themselves out there for the first time in a while, some of the new terms can seem utterly bewildering. So, for the uninitiated, here's your definitive dating terminology guide.

Ghosting

This is perhaps the most recognisable word that has arisen from online dating - although the act itself existed long before the dawn of dating apps.

The phenomenon of ghosting occurs when someone you are dating suddenly goes silent on you, with no indication that they are no longer interested. One moment you are flirting back and forth after a handful of dates, the next you are checking your phone incessantly, bewildered at why this person you had a connection with has so abruptly dropped off the face of the earth.

Ghosting can happen at any point in a relationship, and even between friends. Usually ghosts are simply too afraid of confrontation to tell you they aren't interested in taking things further.

Textlationship

Some people manage to have an entire relationship without ever meeting, only exchanging messages. Most dating apps of course encourage their users to meet in real life as soon as they feel comfortable, to avoid a lingering textlationship.

Slow Fade

The slow fade is similar to ghosting, except more drawn-out. This is where someone you are chatting to or seeing gradually cuts you off, making less and less effort with being in touch.

Cuffing Season

The cuffing season is in fact already upon us! This term refers to the winter months where people who would usually be happily single or casually dating supposedly adopt a preference for being in a committed relationship.

DTR

This is an acronym for 'define the relationship' - a new phrase which is the equivalent of having 'the chat' about where your relationship is heading.

Benching

Also known as bread-crumbing, benching is when someone you have been seeing stops agreeing to meet, but continues to contact you over message and social media. These people are essentially keeping you on the bench while they play out their other options. Beware of a flame who keeps you in limbo this way!

Haunting

This is where a romantic interest who previously ghosted you has now reappeared, but without direct contact. Instead, they'll like or follow your social media posts, haunting you in cyberspace to remind you they still exist.

Tuning

Tuning can be mistaken for benching, but is far more positive for the tune.

Tuners are people who are actually romantically interested in you, but who are avoiding being upfront about it. These people want the relationship to progress, so are flirting via all kinds of means, but are vague and often frustrating.

We all hope a bencher is really just a tuner, but be sure to tell the difference between under-confidence and indifference.

Talking

When someone tells their friends they are "talking" to a girl or guy, it usually means they are dating them, but casually.

The Lemming

A lemming is someone who is happily exclusively dating, but as soon as their friends come out of relationships, they follow blindly into singledom. This may result in the abrupt, unforeseen ending of a budding relationship. Hopefully, you'll find someone with more conviction!