Lars, using your unrivaled wisdom, what age is the best age of one's life. I'm not talking Lower Paleolithic, the Bronze, nor Reconstuction or Gilded...I'm talking in terms of how old a person is, 10, 18, 30, 50 etc?

Criminals in this town used to believe in things...honor, respect."I heard your dog is sick, so bought you this shovel"

That_Guy™ wrote:Wow. In close to 40 years of life, I've never been told that it's wrong to put ketchup on a hot dog. I've tried different mustards, but nothing is as good as ketchup on a dog. Next you'll tell me that I shouldn't put ketchup on my brats either. What is this world coming to...

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this board is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

"All Beckett needs to do to cap off this mess is order some fried chicken and beer" – 5/10/12 before Beckett got chased in the 3rd at Fenway.

Brats are tasteless crap....Italian hot sausage with peppers & onions is the only way to go

Salmon is disgusting...I had to eat it when I was a kid because it was cheap

Now its fashionable like sushi and it cost 15 $ a lb.........suckers

...and a touch of tartar on fried oysters is to die for

...and PartII, FUDU is the last person on earth to get food tips from...even if he somehow gets it right, he's still wrong

The only god damn thing that goes on oysters of any kind is a dash of tabasco and maybe a squeeze of lemon.

For the record, I now understand why many people fail in the restaurant business. I bet some of you even put steak sauce on steak. Hint - if you're buying steak that needs steak sauce, save yourself the damn money and learn how to properly roast/grill a london broil.

"All Beckett needs to do to cap off this mess is order some fried chicken and beer" – 5/10/12 before Beckett got chased in the 3rd at Fenway.

Fuck I'm angry today and this just did it. If you want white goop that tastes completely synthetic with horrible texture, I got some stuff to sell you. Spicy or dijon mustard on a turkey sandwich friend, nothing else. And hating on brussels sprouts? Saute some of those up with garlic and olive oil, add some fried bacon and reduce with a rich chicken stock = winning.

You're all heathens.

"All Beckett needs to do to cap off this mess is order some fried chicken and beer" – 5/10/12 before Beckett got chased in the 3rd at Fenway.

Fuck I'm angry today and this just did it. If you want white goop that tastes completely synthetic with horrible texture, I got some stuff to sell you. Spicy or dijon mustard on a turkey sandwich friend, nothing else. And hating on brussels sprouts? Saute some of those up with garlic and olive oil, add some fried bacon and reduce with a rich chicken stock = winning.

You're all heathens.

Adding bacon makes anything taste good, except devilled eggs.

Turkey without mayo is like eating sand. It needs mayo AND dijon or honey mustard.

Company outings should be outlawed, I not only don't want to go to them but when they are on boats and I am stuck with them I have no choice but to get wasted....

Can we outlaw company outings?

Also, I have a job offer that I am about to leverage against my current firm. How agressive should I go?

Hangover - read the column. Want me to help find you a dominatrix in Boston?

Here's my take on the company outing: there are three purposes to it, as follows:

1) To give the peasants who otherwise have absolutely no life a little bit of fun. Sadly, about 50-80% of any given company looks at the outing as a grand old time and one of the highlights of the year. We're on a boat! Free Bud Light! This is how the other half lives! I'm so fancy!

2) To weed out the troublemakers. Incontrovertible fact from every company outing ever: everyone drinks too much at the outing. Related fact: someone crosses a HR line at some point in the outing. Essentially, what the company outing gives management is an organized blackmail scheme against the whole company. And for those they want to purge, a perfect lawsuit-free excuse to do so.

3) Teambuilding. Which is largely bullshit, but you'll resist strangling someone for a few weeks after they walk your drunk incoherent ass home Missing In Action style, and make sure you don't get into any barfights along the way.Getting a group of people that hate each other drunk will temporarily abate that hate.

Way too valuable to corporate America to outlaw.

As for the job offer thing, consider this: your job is like your girlfriend. The company courting you knows you're in a relationship, and they want you anyway. So they put on a little extra makeup and are a little more aggressive in the boudoir in order to convince you to leave that bitch that is no good for you to be with her. And they know all about your current girl, so it's really not fair. But point being, you can't go up to your girlfriend and say "Sally has bigger tits, makes this purring noise when we screw that drives me crazy, and has offered me a threeway with her roommate. Can you top that, or I'm out?" Same thing with a job. If they do meet your demands on pressure of another job, they WILL be looking for your replacement immediately, and dispatch you when they get him or her. You're a disloyal employee and a risk tot he company - no reason to keep you around.

If you want to stay, tell them your demands absent any other job offer mention. If they meet them, fine, if not, leave.

Ah shit, I should have saved all that for the column. Didn't know I was going to write that much. Yeah, like it should shock me I go off longwindedly. Idiot.

Lars, My son ( 12) was called upon to sacrifice bunt in a baseball tourney game last week while his team was up 10-0. Was I wrong to to join the other team in disparaging remarks against his coach?Thanks!pod

I've slept with three married girls in the last month and I am currently repairing the marriage of the one of them I actually like (only one I didn't "really" sleep with). When you can figure out what the deal with me and Eastern Europe is...............................

Why is marriage a reality? Fucking kids right? Dumbassesssss, I told every married bitch that I am divorcing them as friends once they pop one out........

I just read the PD interview with Mark Shapiro. Now I'm trying to figure out what planet he lives on and what the color of the sky is in his freakish little world where trading two Cy Young Award winners in consecutive years is not considered "Financial," and that's just the tip of the bullshit iceberg in that softball article.

Is the appropriate response Torches and Pitchforks, or just attaching his picture to a heavy bag and repeatedly punching the crap out of it?

What is your preference in a band; a consistant sound record after record with more minor variations where you can immediately recognize the band from a few chords of a song, or a band that tries new sounds with every record?

Also, why do bands take 3+ years to put out a record then go on a tour that seems to last forever? Should bands that go on "final tours" sign a contract that they will never tour again, or at least not have another "final tour" for 10 years? I swear the Stones had a final tour when I was in high school.

Hikohadon wrote:Lars, now that Maria Sharapova got into the French Open Finals, can she finally stop choking finals and win one?

Why, yes, I did predict the exact final set score, thank you for noticing.

HOLY FUCKING CHRIST IS THAT BARRY HOROWITZ?!!??!

Also, after getting unexpectedly unengaged last year, my ex is now pregnant with a guy she is desperately trying to love but no one really trusts and I'm dating a 22 year-old blonde ex-gymnast who now works in finance. Not sure where I am going with this but yeah, the Horowitz pic along with the start to this summer, life is the winzors.

"All Beckett needs to do to cap off this mess is order some fried chicken and beer" – 5/10/12 before Beckett got chased in the 3rd at Fenway.