You've allowed one question, one single question, to blot out all of the others. And the question is unanswerable. It barely makes sense (although it seems to — to you).
Why care?
There are always alternatives — to philosophizing. You don't have to answer that question, or any question. Let it go.
You can't, because you believe.
It's a remarkable thing, discovering that you have 'beliefs'.
Like the belief that every single moment has an absolute ineradicable reality, a reality that does not permit that moment to be removed from existence, not in a million or a billion years, even when it is forgotten and all traces of its happening destroyed.
(Ph…