After reviewing the list of symptoms I'm more convinced that my bf suffers from bipolar disorder. We have been together for 8 months and, during that time, I always suspected something was a little bit off. He'll go from seemingly fine to someone I don't even recognize - his energy level goes through the roof with no need for sleep. He's a bartender and works nights, but this goes far beyond the call of duty. He's mentioned before that he feels like he's "inherently" bad and that he's even **** once before, in his late teens. He'll go from seemingly quiet and insecure to being easily distracted, talkative, and unusually self-confident. In one moment, he is the most loving, generous, considerate person in the world, and then suddenly out of nowhere he will turn into a completely different person. He will stay out all night, **** and say the most hurtful things to me.

Three weeks ago we had an argument over absolutely nothing (he claimed I was in a "mood" and I got defensive), during which he went into a rage and said he needed some "space" for a couple of days. I got random, breezy texts every other day. After a week he said he wanted to talk. He never called. I finally phoned at 8PM at which point he said his friend was in town and we could just talk tomorrow. I was incredulous. Obviously, talking and working things out wasn't a priority for him. He text me at 2AM the next morning to inform me that he was home from work, that he was still confused and that he thought we needed a "break" - not to date other people, but to get our lives in order before we could move forward. (He is currently struggling financially; I am recently unemployed and have been having a difficult time financially as well.) I told him I understood where he was coming from and that we DID need to work on ourselves independently but that I didn't see how a "break" would serve to advance that goal. He left about a week ago after starting an argument with me, going into a rage and telling me he couldn't even look at me. I told him he could have all the space he needed. Only, he continued to text me daily - everything from wishing me luck on interviews to asking me how my sick dog was doing. I finally confronted him last Friday night and told him that his mixed signals were giving me whiplash and that I felt like he was stringing me along. He told me that he just needed "to be alone right now." I told him that I was fully aware of what HE wanted but that I felt confused because he wouldn't let me in and tell me what he was thinking/feeling. I also told him that I was upset and hurt because I felt like he wasn't taking my feelings into consideration. He began to rage and ordered me to "get out." Initially I refused, pleading that he just communicate with me so that I could help him. That just made him angrier, so I left. I text him the next morning to apologize for things getting so heated. I told him I loved him, but that I would not beg him to love me and to try to work things out if he didn't want that too. He said I just didn't understand but that I would one day. He then informed me that MY behavior the night before had ruined any chance we had of ever working things out and that I was "lucky" that he didn't call the police when I refused to leave. I was incredulous. Shocked. Hurt. I still can't quite wrap my head around what's happened.

I know that he was abused as a child by his father and that, after finding out at 18 that he'd been adopted, he had what he classifies as a "breakdown." He has also informed me that his previous relationship with his girlfriend of 3 years was VERY tumultuous - lots of fighting and break ups and an **** on his part somewhere in between. I just don't know what to think. He refuses to see a doctor or admit that anything is wrong. I do love him and I want to help, but I fear that if I try to contact him now it will only push him further away. I feel so helpless.

Any insight or advice would be much appreciated. I want to salvage our relationship but I do not know how to handle his behavior.

I would encourage your boyfriend to see a psychiatrist for a full evaluation. It's difficult to make suggestions as to what can be done about his behavior until you know for sure he has bipolar. Have you talked to him about seeing a psychiatrist? If so, what was his response?

I to have been dealing with my husbands quick temper and through the roof behavior. He says he can't control it. He was always a happy go lucky guy until marriage, kids and stress from work. He is really quick to become angry and its like he leaves and someone new appears. He is on anitdepressants for CVS(Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome). And sometimes complains of neverousness all over his body. Myself and my children are on pins and needles somedays. We feel that anytime somthing could set him off. Then somedays he is so depressed. I wish I could help him too.

I to have been dealing with my husbands quick temper and through the roof behavior. He says he can't control it. He was always a happy go lucky guy until marriage, kids and stress from work. He is really quick to become angry and its like he leaves and someone new appears. He is on anitdepressants for CVS(Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome). And sometimes complains of neverousness all over his body. Myself and my children are on pins and needles somedays. We feel that anytime somthing could set him off. Then somedays he is so depressed. I wish I could help him too.

Sometimes the emotions a person with bipolar expresses cannot be controlled. Meds do help, but they don't eliminate symptoms completely. I'm a rapid cycler which means that my moods change every hour and sometimes every minute. Until I was put on the correct meds, I used to become extremely agitated at the smallest things and I came close to destroying many relationships because of it. Thanks to my new med regimen, I'm doing much better now and am able to better control my reactions to certain events or situations that may trigger rapid cycling. Is your husband on a mood stabilizer? Has he been diagnosed with bipolar? If he is only taking anti-depressants, it's possible that his angry outbursts are due to a manic episode. Some people become very irritable when manic and anti-depressants are known for inducing mania in those who have bipolar.

Your boyfriend's behavior can be explained in a whole lot of ways and not with a mental illness...even with a mental illness there is some predictability. Drugs, Alcohol and steroids can make him flip/flop strange. This is not a normal relationship and not really sure how you can call this love but certainly he isn't capable of a relationship and if you continue on with him you are going to be hurt over and over ....love doesn't suck the life out of you. Good luck.

Thanks for your reply, he is on Celexa. The doctors don't seem to act as if they understand what we tell them. They think it is coming from the CVS attacks. But, I know better this is something different. I know what you described is what we live with everyday. I will definatly converse with his family doctor on this myself. Because there has always been a problem but, never this bad.

I think he just doesn't want to be in the relationship. My ex-BF would flip flop all over the place, being sweet and affectionate, then saying mean things to me. Toward the end, he would say the rudest things. He told me one night after too many drinks that he was trying to drive me away, and that he wouldn't have stuck around as long as I did if the situation were reversed. Turns out, he wanted out of the relationship to be with someone else and was too chicken to say so. He finally sent me an e-mail ending it. I do believe he has some kind of problem dealing with people properly, but I don't know if he's diagnosable. I just know that it's a relief not to have to be on the roller coaster any more.

This guy will keep on like this as long as you allow it. I understand that you love him, I loved my ex, but it isn't worth it. It's too hard to live that way. Now, if this guy really does have some kind of disorder and consented to treatment, that would be one thing...but it sounds like he won't. I'd advise you to leave the relationship until he gets some help.