Screen Door Hits Obama's Ass In...

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Now That He's Screwed Us For the 58th Time...

Welcome to Hope n' Change 2.0!

In the face of a collapsing economy, rampant unemployment, and global instability, Barack Hussein Obama took office in 2008 promising Hope and Change. The "Hope" thing didn't really work out, but we got plenty of "Change" as everything got worse. And now, the jug-eared jackass has a second term.

That's why at Hope n' Change Cartoons, we're creating conservative smartaleckry to provide a little laughter in these strange times. Cartoons will probably be posted Monday and Wednesday, and definitely on Friday. Additionally, cartoons and graphics will be posted randomly on our Facebook page and Friday we'll add the week's postings right here to kick around in one of the greatest comments sections on the Web.Note: please feel free to repost our cartoons on your favorite blogs!

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Monday, August 1, 2016

For those who didn't get the joke in today's title, Noh is an ancient, traditional form of ritualized Japanese theater, as is Kabuki. Which we're explaining for the benefit of anyone who also didn't get the joke after watching the even more ritualized theater of the back-to-back political conventions.

Just how completely staged the Democrat convention was is only now being revealed. Actors were hired to fill seats and cheer wildly every time Hillary was able to bark out a sentence without going into a blood-spraying coughing spasm. Huge white noise machines were positioned throughout the convention hall in order to augment applause as needed or drown out protesters (because #WhiteNoiseMatters).

And of course, who can forget the images of Bill and Hillary feigning wide-eyed slack-jawed awe and wonder at the miraculous and completely unexpected sight of balloons falling from the rafters (or quite possibly leaping suicidally after hearing Hillary's angry acceptance speech). To quote Robert Downey Jr in the film Tropic Thunder, they "went full retard. Never go full retard."

Although the conventions are now over, the big show is about to start: the Trump vs Hillary knockdown drag-out mud-flinging pummeling match of the century...out of which we're expecting no winners (certainly not the American people).

In some ways, Hope n' Change is feeling a little Kabuki-ish ourselves at the moment. Without putting on a thick coat of white face paint and a kimono, we can't really feign happiness about Mr. Trump committing himself to an online flame war with the father of a fallen American soldier who happened to be Muslim. Nor is it helpful to have the GOP-ish candidate claiming that he received a letter from the NFL complaining of scheduling conflicts between upcoming games and the Hillary/Trump debates...then being forced to admit that he made up the NFL letter. Frankly, we think The Donald needs to add Robert Downey Jr to his advisory staff as soon as possible.

Granted, Hillary is also a gift that keeps on giving - thanks to new revelations that her campaign had been hacked (possibly by those pesky Russians) and she refused to let the FBI investigate. And there are stories breaking about the possibility that the Clinton Family Foundation may be facing investigations by the IRS, the DOJ, and other acronym agencies which are part of the big Democratic cover-up machine. Yawn.

Maybe it's just the Monday "blahs," but we're feeling a bit more pessimism than passion about politics today - and we're admitting it because we don't ever want to be guilty of just going through the motions to the discordant sound of plucking shamisens and kotos.

And no, we didn't originally use the word "plucking" when we thought of that sentence...

39 comments:

Every time I think Trump may be just the thing we need to turn this country around, he pulls some boner like his argument with the parents of the fallen Muslim soldier. Is he deliberately trying to provide propaganda fodder for the Democrats? Trump has to realize that the Hillary campaign is salivating like rabid dogs over anything they can use to undermine him.

I still have this nagging feeling that Trump is a plant. The Dems were so successful with this ploy that it got all out of hand. Now Trump is riding it for all it's worth; his ego won't let him do anything else. Either way, we are screwed, blued and tattooed. I used to shake my head at the 47% and ask myself, "How in the world did we get here? So many morons." Now we are up to 90+%. I understand that most of the people that voted for Trump are desperate for someone, anyone, that is willing to speak up. Well, we got the "anyone" not the "someone". The thing that gets me is that apparently all the other Repub candidates were either too stupid or too timid to say, "Look, how Trump says things is childish, but the people are so hungry for someone willing to speak up that they will take anybody that will do just that. SO, that means I'd better do the same, just without the silly." But no, most just couldn't, or wouldn't, do it. The only ones that even made the attempt just got down in the mud with Trump. Regardless, we, as a nation are in big trouble. We are no longer, as Adams says, "a moral and religious people", and so we are rendering moot the Constitution. BTW, even if you aren't religious, there is no excuse for not being moral. As a society, we are getting what we deserve.

I think I'll lock myself in a cave and watch all the old Looney Toon cartoons that I have on DVDs and drink moonshine until election time. Then after the elections I will repeat. And, yes, The Donald needs to make sure his brain is running before he puts his mouth in gear.

Perhaps it is time to wonder just what kind of president Kaine will be. After the vagina is crowned queen, how long can she last before her plethora of scandals finally catch up with her, or her questionable health issues incapacitate her to the point that the VP has to step in?Or will her devote worshippers continue to accept a babbling, drooling, seizure-ridden, wicked wretch of a hag to lead them into oblivion?

I took a page from your writing and decided to try a bottle of "Old Crofter"It isn't horrible, but it is cheap.I think I prefer a bottle of John Jacob Rye.By the end of this election I think hard liquor sales are going to sky-rocket in any case (or, by the case, whatever).

There have been rumors floating around that Hillary has some serious chronic health problems, namely MS, at least one stroke and a concussion with post-concussion syndrome. And that she does ok when everything is scripted for her, but fails with natural, spontaneous speech. I took a look at the YOUTUBE video mentioned above and it did look like Hillary had some kind of difficulty using her tongue followed by a bizarre looking head bobbing fit. Very strange. Makes me wonder if she is medically fit to be POTUS.

Anonymous: That video was photo shopped. Look at the blue tie with dots behind her and see it go in and out of focus. Great video anyways. On the democrat convention you would have had to be a masochist or a sadist to have watched that. Personally, I had rather have had a colonoscopy with a lug wrench.

@rickn8or- I just wish Trump would focus his attacks on Hillary (gurrrl or not) instead of flailing away in other directions.

@Anonymous- We're in the same boat. I can imagine a Donald Trump who is a straight-shooting deal maker and problem solver...but the reality is that every time he opens his yap he sounds more like a clod. Did you see his comments on Ukraine? He said he'll keep Putin out...and was then told that Putin has had troops in Ukraine since 2014. D'oh!

@Jim G- Believe me, "Poop-flinging Monkey" could pick up a lot of third party votes this time around. Mine, for instance.

@chef621- I'm no Biblical scholar, but currently I'd say it's a real possibility.

@DougM- Okay, now you've made ME laugh! It's true that Clintons, as a rule, are damn hard to impeach (at least to the point of throwing them out of office). However, I don't see Trump being impeached if things get rocky - I think he'd resign flamboyantly.

@rickn8or- Good point. Trump never met a camera he didn't like.

@DrRiff- I think "It Isn't Horrible, But It's Cheap" should be Old Crofters' slogan. I haven't tried John Jacob Rye, but may have to. On the other hand, when it's time for a cold beer, I enjoy John Jacob Jingleheimer Schlitz.

@Anonymous- I genuinely believe that she has serious health issues. She was "disappeared" right after Benghazi, then had "stomach flu" which caused her to faint and hit her head (allegedly), after which she had to wear prism glasses. I think it's more likely she had a neurological event of some kind.

@Jim Irre- I'm going to have to vote for Trump if it looks like Texas could somehow go to Hillary. But if he has the state safely locked up I might well vote libertarian. Assuming, of course, that Poop-flinging Monkey (and his VP choice, Cud-spitting Llama) haven't entered the race.

@mamafrog- I'm afraid the "seizure" video is a non-starter. She's just doing a comic overreaction to the sudden barrage of questions from the reporters. I've also seen the video with the audio stripped out and the head-bobbing doubled by immediately running it in reverse. It LOOKED terrible, but was nonsense.

Mind you, I think Hillary may well have a serious neurological problem - I'm just saying this video clip isn't evidence. Unfortunately.

@REM1875- I came this close to making a reference to seppuku (also known as harakiri) today, but decided it wasn't quite warranted. Yet.

@TrickyRicky- Tastefully put.

@Boligat- Well said. I don't think Trump is a plant (although the fact that we can't tell for sure speaks volumes), but I DO think he got into the race as an ego-bolstering stunt without expecting to go very far. Instead, he rode a wave of genuinely righteous fear and anger - having as little to do with its creation or control than does a cork swept along by a tsunami.

I think if there had been fewer GOP candidates initially, Trump would have washed out early on. But he was getting all of the "angry" vote while over a dozen others had to split the rational vote and couldn't beat Trump's numbers. And eventually, the madness of crowds took over.

I pretty much agree with your 90% idiocy rate estimation, and the fact that we're especially screwed by the loss of moral direction in this country. Personally, I'm not religious in the least - but have a strict moral code anyway. Some people are aided by religion to do the right thing, some do the right thing for other reasons - but not enough people are doing the right thing for any reason these days.

@Fred Ciampi- Hey, pull up a rock for me in that cave. Old Looney Toons and moonshine? Hell, I'd vote for YOU for president!

@Geoff King- You raise an excellent point. BOTH choices for VP need to be considered as real possibilities for finishing out the first term for reasons of health, scandal, or whatever. In which case I'll take Pence, please.

@James Daily- Had I known the lug wrench colonoscopy was an option, I would have chosen it.

mamafrog: Funny video! I'm thinking that as a result of all her non-stop head bobbing while standing on stage behind endorsers, has left her with a non-stop tic that won't go away. Did you notice how fast she deflected a substantive question from the two ladies by mentioning something about her drink? 'Deflect/distract'; textbook Clinton move.

Anyone else noticing how quiet their usually politically loud Democrat friends have been lately? Could it be that they're finally realizing that they're the ones with the big identity problem, and might even be embarrassed by what almost transparently went down last week? Or are they just confused and are waiting for someone to forward them a fresh set of memes to post on social media?

Meanwhile, Trump continues to do and say seemingly silly things. The media then proceeds to ponder "Has he finally gone too far?", and then he proceeds emerge from the fire like the Terminator as popular as ever.

I still can't decide if Trump is working for Hillary or not. As I've already said many times, he is, at best, a Democrat.

Meanwhile, some of the alphabets are investigating the Clinton Foundation. BFD! Will you Republictards ever learn? The FBI, DOJ, IRS (all agencies that have spent the last several years demonstrating their commitment to integrity and impartiality) will spend the next 3 months "investigating", and days before the election they'll declare something like "Although we've identified irregularities and conflicts of interest, there is nothing that we can successfully prosecute under existing law." Once again, the Clintonites will declare victory, call it all part of the "vast right wing conspiracy", and their followers will insist there's nothing more to see here and we should move along. This happens every single time! What makes anyone think that this time will be any different? Obama has gone all in supporting the Clintons. Why would he allow departments under his direct control (who have already demonstrated complete fealty to him & Clinton) to embarrass he and Hillary days before her coronation?

We need to stop hoping that "the law" is going to save us from her. It's not. Only the American people can stop this. And it looks like they're not going to.

Just a little sample of what one can expect when formerly thriving countries fully buy into the socialist dream.

"A new decree by Venezuela's government could make its citizens work on farms to tackle the country's severe food shortages. That "effectively amounts to forced labor," according to Amnesty International, which derided the decree as "unlawful.""

It's also a breakthrough in that Amnesty International is actually being critical of a leftist regime. We now know how bad things have to get in order for them to take notice.

@Jim Irre, IMHO, "adult supervision" was pushed out of the room during the first Clinton era. There was a bit of it during the GWB era, but it was mostly preoccupied with losing a war. I'm with the Libertarians, but sometimes I wonder if there is any adult supervision there as well.

@Boligat, as I alluded above, I find myself more and more wondering the same thing. After all, he was a Hillary supporting Democrat barely 2 years ago. I can't decide which is more believable; that the Clinton machine could engineer this, or that it might actually work or even backfire.

@Geoff King, the Clintons deal with Satan clearly precludes any political or legal consequences in this lifetime. If any of their plethora of scandals haven't caught up to them by now, they never will. Any single one of those scandals over the last 40 year would have taken down any other candidate or office holder. They are shielded by powers beyond earthly. Accept it. Life gets easier after that.

Impeachment: Won't happen, (to Hillary anyway) but the upside will be that the GOP will hold Congress, and even if Hillary wins it will be highly contested and she'll have no mandate. (So no matter what she promises, it's not going to get through Congress) It's not much of an upside, but it's all we got.

Every time the mainstream media uses its well worn bag of tricks on Trump, his poll numbers go up. I think they are flummoxed by him and if truth be told, the Democrats are too (but I repeat myself). He's not the shrinking violet they are used to. The MSM promoted Trump during the primaries in order to boost their own ratings. Money always wins. Who is surprised the long knives came out immediately following the end of the primaries? Make no mistake, I am not a Trump fan and was a Cruz supporter all the way. The reality is he is the only obstacle to the coronation of that vile, power-mad, greedy, corrupt piece of excrement Hillary Clinton. She actually had the audacity to go on Fox News Sunday and claim that Comey said she was truthful. She's a true sociopath as well as a pathological liar. She must NOT get the keys to the White House, even if it means voting for Trump.

Here's a little fact I just found on the internet about the Kahns. Seems they like to do some conning themselves.

By Theodore Shoebat and Walid Shoebat The Muslim who attacked Donald Trump, Khizr Muazzam Khan, is a Muslim Brotherhood agent, working to bring Muslims into the United States. After reading what we discovered so far, it becomes obvious that Khan wanted to ‘trump’ Trump’s Muslim immigration. But not so fast. Trump we have your back.

.

Khizr Muazzam Khan graduated in Punjab University Law College, as the New York Times confirms. and he specialized in International Trade Law in Saudi Arabia. An interest lawyer for Islamic oil companies Khan wrote a paper, called In Defense of OPEC to defend the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), an intergovernmental oil company consisting of mainly Islamic countries. Khan is a promoter of Islamic Sharia Law. Khan is also co-founder of the Journal of Contemporary Issues in Muslim Law (Islamic Sharia).

"The father of a Muslim-American soldier killed in Iraq who is caught up in a war of words with Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is an immigration lawyer who specializes in a highly controversial program accused of letting immigrants buy their way into the U.S."

As to be expected with mega-government, there are always winners and losers when a massive change in policy is proposed. Immigration is an industry unto itself, with a lot of powerful and well-connected people making a lot of money, either as the beneficiaries of cheap imported labor, or facilitating it.

As always with the Clintons, follow the money, and you'll usually find the reason for advocacy. And it's usually something other than lofty principles.

Just in case any of you believe the outcome of the upcoming election has not already been decided, on the same day that Hitlery stated that we must get money out of politics she accepted $25 million from George Soros towards her campaign. You just can't make this stuff up.http://usapoliticsnow.com/?p=4202

Cannot believe how many folks asked me "did you watch the (R/D) Convention last night?" during those bizzare two weeks. I was never much for pep rallys during my school days, and I would rather have a root canal without anesthesia than watch a parade of idiots compete for the biggest lie.

Those old enough to have lived through the 1st Clinton Administration as adults should remember Hillary's ghost-written children's tome, "It Takes a Village". There's something about the idea of a sanitized hippie commune that makes Progressives go all gooey inside and out; a place where everyone loves everyone else and selflessly helps everyone else when not participating in drum circles. The not-so-subtle idea is that the happy, selfless village model can be extrapolated to exist as a megastate bureaucracy to achieve the same blissful existence that takes place in her hypothetical village. For example, the loving family and neighbors that raise children can be replaced by larger institutions to achieve the same thing. Examples of the agenda that would achieve this are the standard Progressive items such as economic regulation, universal health care, gun control, "family planning", etc.

The problem is that the village as Hillary sees it is incomplete. Some of the things that make real villages work are trust and accountability. This can happen in small community settings where everyone personally knows everyone else. When one member of the collective slacks off, the other members can apply pressure to straighten the slacker out. The mere existence of that social pressure (formerly known as "shame") discourages the slacking off. But even in small settings, this doesn't always work out well. (Hence the death of the commune movement of the '60s) In other words, when someone gets out of line, the "adults" in the village kick their ass, or kick them out.

Unfortunately, there's little talk of that aspect in the Progressive's village.

And as things scale up, that's no longer even possible. For example, the welfare people you see at the line in front of you at the supermarket buying better groceries than you are don't know you, and don't care, even though everyone knows that you are buying their groceries for them. The people running the megastate are either unable or unwilling to apply the same pressures that would be applied in the village setting. In fact, they couldn't care less.

The fact that Progressives today endorse all sorts of libertine social behavior and scold anyone who dares judge such behavior makes the megavillage even less viable. In the Progressive village, it's the adults who are persecuted for attempting to enforce social norms.

"The first thing the Allens, a British family of four, want you to know about them is that they are followers of something they call off-grid parenting. This includes common, and sometimes questionable, alternative parenting practices such as home-schooling, avoiding vaccinations and modern medicine, co-sleeping, and extended breast-feeding. There are also less common ones, such as “lotus birthing” (letting the placenta and umbilical cord fall off naturally) and avoiding shoes for their children. Still, all this is not enough for the Allens. They yearn for a family life even further off-grid and have hatched a plan that will help them move closer “towards self sustainability and being a bit more free range and less institutionalized.”"

What gets me is how much it costs for this family to live like the homeless.

@Readers- More great comments above, as opposed to cheery comments above (sigh).

@John the Econ- Hillary made some statement, well, angrily shouted it, along the lines of "people don't achieve things alone, they only achieve things when they WORK TOGETHER!!!"

Which to my ears sounds like a call for the mobs to go after the individualists, the self-motivated, the creators and capitalists. Her demand for us to adopt a tribal village mentality has frightening echoes of "Lord of the Flies." (Full disclosure: I always identified with the unfortunate kid called "Piggy" and have little doubt that in Hillary's World I'd enjoy much the same fate.)

@Stilton, the "War on the Middle Class" that I've been writing about for years now and the "War against Individualism" are one and the same. There is no room for "individuality" beyond the superficial in the Progressive collective. They will be coming for us with the same self-justification and zeal as the Islamic suicide bombers seeking their eternal reward.

Just 30-seconds ago, someone accused me of "white privilege" for suggesting that the Progressive economic agenda is, in fact "slavery". Someone who in their mind can't divorce the concept of slavery from being black. Who's the racist?

"Khizr Khan, the Muslim Gold Star father that Democrats and their allies media wide have been using to hammer GOP presidential nominee Donald J. Trump, has deleted his law firm’s website from the Internet... The website is completely removed from the Internet, and instead directs visitors to the URL at which it once was to a page parking the URL run by GoDaddy."

What gets me is that in this day and age of Google, that these people who go on public crusades with blaring conflicts of interest don't consider the possibility that out of the millions of people who see them that somebody is going to spend the 20-seconds or so to look up some background on them in search of something embarrassing.

Has anyone else noticed that correct spelling and use of the English language on the internet-whether it be from a MSM site or a wet-behind-the-ears Millenial-seems to be on a rapid decline just recently?

Yes Geoff King, spelling, punctuation, grammar, and just plain English usage have declined since the Department of Education put political correctness before all else. I took a short course in journalism about 50+ years ago and learned to proofread as well; upside down and backwards too. The newspapers as well as internet news have atrocious standards for their writers and contributors. And from reading some of their tripe I think spell check is out of use too. There, their, and they're; you're and your; too, to, and two: all terribly misused. I could go on but I think the point has been made.

@John the Econ- The War on Individuality is, of course, an entirely necessary component of socialism. Acknowledging that people have (ahem) diversity in their skills, talents, work ethic, and sense of responsibility negates the whole ant colony endgame. Have NO progressives read Brave New World or 1984?

And regarding the ease of looking up information online to discredit people like Khan, nobody on the Left is willing to take that 20 seconds you mentioned...and those of us who do will have no way of communicating the information to anyone other than our own insular circle.

@Geoff King- This is a HUGE gripe of mine. Finding a typo or misspelled word in a book, magazine, or newspaper used to be a real fluke - like finding a penny upon which Lincoln was facing the wrong way. Now, it seems like most articles I read (especially online, even if from "big names") are riddled with errors and misuse of words.

I'm especially bothered because I don't think this is "Grammar Nazi" stuff; I think command of the language is directly related to people's ability to think, analyze, and communicate. The dumbing down of language is the dumbing down of thought. Which explains a lot, I'm afraid.

@Fred Ciampi- Proofreading is a hard (and important) task, and one I stink at. It's very hard for the writer of a work to see what's actually on the page rather than what they meant to put on the page. But these days, I don't think many people care. Information is considered transient and disposable, so if you get a word or two, or six, or a dozen wrong it doesn't matter - your short attention span reader will be on to something else in 15 seconds.

Grammar: Instantly tells me how seriously I should take what follows. If you don't possess the ability and will to use it properly, I can pretty much assume that your ideas aren't any better.

True story: Several decades ago, I was partaking of my Sunday morning routine of reading the LA Times Sunday edition. I was reading some article when all of a sudden I became physically repulsed, and literally threw the paper away from me. No, it wasn't the typical and expected leftist drivel. (I can easily filter that out) It was the horrendous grammar I was reading; the kind of stuff that would have resulted in an F in middle school. I literally couldn't take it anymore. First thing Monday morning, I cancelled.

Some time later, I got a call from the LA Times wishing me to re-subscribe. When I said "No!", the caller asked why. So I told him. Without missing a beat, the caller responded "But it's written that way on purpose, to make it easier for people to understand", as if that was a big selling point! I was dumbfounded.

"So it's a paper purposely dumbed down for sub-literate morons? Why would I want to spend money and expose myself to that?"

Believe it or not, at that time the LA Times actually did engage in a marketing campaign (like many failing papers of the time) touting what they called their new "easy to read" format. When they said "easy to read", they meant copy that was capped at the 6th grade level.

And they say liberals are "better educated". You'd never know that based upon the quality of their journalism.

Work's been NVTS (to quote Mel Brooks) and I'm just NOW, technically on WED getting 38 sec to comment on MON cartoon..YeeshOnly thing worse than a job that sucks is not having a job, eh? (ok, generally loving a job that occasionally sucks really isn't much of a bitch, right? anyway..) "#whitenoisematters" - Spew line of the MONTH!!Well, so far.. Well PLAYED, sir!

Dr Riff (and everyone) I personally recommend Admiral Nelson spiced rum - Cherry flavorRegular is a cheaper and inferior version of Cpt Morgan.. but the Cherry.. At ~$11 / liter, over ice, it is the cheapest / most drinkable / most effective "coffee" you're gonna find. In MY Arrogant Opinion...

With there no longer being any limits on lying to gain office and the inept choices we now seem to have for highest office in the land, I will indeed make a lesser evil choice in this election but I'm down to hoping for some divine help in the form of Natural Causes to actually guard the office of POTUS.

Also noted: At least a couple of high visibility, high ranking primary races in the Aug 2 Missouri non-presidential primary election went to the new, clean, outsider, conservative candidates in spite of huge money being spent on outright lies about them; several well entrenched establishment candidates were soundly defeated.

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