For the creatives of the world, whose imaginations are ripe with magic and a leonine desire to make their dreams come true. Tara Cole-McCaffrey creates and expresses through fashion, dance, film, and all things aesthetic. She is a stylist, blogger, performer and liver of life. She is realizing her dreams and she wants you to realize yours. She is the Patron of Dreams.

Don’t let me hear you say life’s taking you nowhere, angelCome get up my babyLook at that sky, life’s begunNights are warm and the days are youngCome get up my babyThere’s my baby, lost that’s allOnce I’m begging you save her little soulGolden years, gold whop whop whopCome get up my babyLast night they loved you, opening doors and pulling some strings, angelCome get up my babyIn walked luck and you looked in timeNever look back, walk tall, act fineCome get up my babyI’ll stick with you baby for a thousand yearsNothing’s gonna touch you in these golden years, goldGolden years, gold whop whop whopCome get up my baby –David Bowie

Winter. It can be a bitch. Not enough sun and not enough fun. It’s the result of that funny universal pendulum that keeps everything in balance. After December, a month of total excess and too much of everything, we get slammed with a harsh reality check, and it leaves us feeling the polar opposite of December, like there’s not enough. I think the trick for conquering this, is awareness of this pendulum phenomenon. When you can shine a light on the patterns that repeat, and the ever swinging pendulum of extreme opposites, you can start to anticipate it, laugh at it before it even happens, and mitigate it’s effects. You can also realize that all you are really in control of is your own emotions. You can let your reactionary feelings take you on a roller coaster ride through your own personal misery, or you can get yourself into the driver’s seat and decide exactly where you want to go and how much attention and energy you want to give to the things that don’t make you feel good.

It took me many years of teenage and twenty-something angst to realize that the flexible and ever changing nature of our emotions allows them to be adapted by us if we can make it a personal practice to be aware of what’s happening inside of us. Let me be clear that I’m not talking about combating clinical depression or anxiety disorders. I realize that no one dealing with these difficult issues can just flip a switch in their brain to feel better. Those of us not dealing with that still experience a struggle to get the winter blues under control. It should also be said that I’m not talking about avoiding serious emotional issues or traumas that you need to work through either. Those nasties have a way of returning over and over and over again until you do the emotional and spiritual work of facing them, working through the painful emotions and healing yourself. I’m talking about the general funk or malaise that seems to go along with lack of sunshine, maybe less money, less hustle and bustle, some unwanted extra weight, and where I’m from, the frigid cold that on some days requires more will power than it’s worth just to get out the door.

I’m here to tell you that we all have a magic button. A silver bullet that smacks us out of our negativity before we find ourselves in an emotional tailspin. We always have a choice. We do have the ability to switch gears and decide that our foul mood is pointless and not helping us in any way. The only purpose it serves is to challenge you to overcome it. There are little over-riding tricks you can employ to consciously decide to change your mood in an instant. For me, and I imagine for a lot of you too, music is that magic button.

When I was younger I ended a crappy day with moody music that kept me drowning in self pity. I chose tunes that matched my misery and fed the monster of festering despair. I’m not sure when or why it happened, but at some point, I just decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. I was tired of dragging these unproductive kill-joy feelings out any longer than absolutely necessary. I recognized that no one was going to save me, so if I wanted to feel better I’d have to save myself. Music is a very powerful tool for this. It can work almost instantly. Do yourself a favour and conduct a little experiment. Next time you are feeling a little rough, put on some of your favourite music that typically ilicites the polar opposite mood to the nasty one you are feeling. You may find at first that you feel annoyed by it, because it doesn’t match your current vibe at all. The reality is, that irritation is still a better feeling than despair. You may also find that if you stick with it, irritation quickly becomes indifference, which turns to optimism, which leads to joy. And voila, you just changed your mood and decided to create your feelings intentionally instead of just allowing them to run on auto-pilot where all the drama sneaks in. You are now on your way to an intentional life.

Managing one mood at a time, one day at a time by remembering to be aware of your feelings and directing them intentionally is completely life changing. It’s just part of a healthy lifestyle. Like eating more fruit and veggies, or getting enough exercise, it’s a commitment. When I started this lifestyle change, I needed LOTS of reminders. I would slip into autopilot all the time and forget to be aware of how I was feeling, and before I knew it, negative thoughts had led me straight into a bad mood. But, just like committing to a workout plan, I made a commitment to it. I put sticky notes all over my house that said “How are you feeling?”. I know it sounds nuts, but WOW, it’s amazing how that question immediately creates an awareness and presence within you, and sheds an immediate light on what you were thinking and feeling. You become aware of how little your feelings have to do with what’s happening right now, and that they really reflect where your thoughts had taken you and what feelings transpired as a result of those thoughts. Auto-pilot. Your mind will drive you, if you aren’t intentionally driving it. Here’s where choosing up-lifting music, inspiring books and positive people around you makes all the difference, even in the middle of a dark, deep freeze winter when life feels extra challenging. Get intentional, become aware of your feelings and decide to take charge of your moods. Your future self will thank you, I promise! Until then, get into the music and out of the winter blues.

“I want to thank everyone who broke their silence this year and spoke out about abuse and harassment. You are so brave. So people out there who are feeling silenced by harassment, discrimination, abuse, Time’s Up! We see you, we hear you and we will tell your stories.” – Reese Witherspoon, 2018 Golden Globe Awards

“Today I will wear black in solidarity and gratitude with all women in all industries, acknowledging our mutual power and vulnerability. #TimesUp on silence, on imbalance of power, on inaction.” -Susan Sarandon

“What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. And I am especially proud and inspired by all the women who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories.” -Oprah Winfrey, 2018 Golden Globe Awards

We live in a Man’s world. Designed by Men, for Men. I know that for some of you, that elicits a defensive response. I’m sorry it’s hard to hear, but it doesn’t make it less true. Some find it hard to relate, or understand when hashtags like #MeToo and #TimesUp are made popular by Hollywood, a demographic of society which many of us can’t relate to. It’s important to understand that the struggles, inequalities and horrors that Hollywood is only now blasting a spotlight on, on TV’s, phones and computer screens all around the globe, happens everywhere, to every girl and woman, for all of our written history. Those with power and position in Hollywood who choose to use their platforms to bring the truth to light and make change, should be commended. Their experiences aren’t different than ours, they just have the world’s attention.

I am just a regular woman, living a regular life, but I too have a story. Too many stories to share them all here, but none of them are new or exceptional or special in any way, that is what makes them significant. The fact that they are common-place enough that even I have been programmed to accept that this just how it is to be a woman in this world. I had become complacent about my own numerous experiences with inequality and sexism, simply because they were just a normal daily part of being a woman. Well, as the world has said loud and clear, TIME’S UP!

I have been groped, sexually assaulted, and cat-called by Men on many, many occasions. Too many to remember all of them, but enough for it to have damaged my self-worth. I’ve been pulled away at parties, cornered and aggressively held against my will at least 3 times by 3 different Men during my teen years. When I was a pre-teen, I slept over at a friends house when her parents were having a party. Her very drunk Uncle cornered me in her bedroom, had me backed up against the wall and started trying to touch me. My friend ran from the room and went to get her teenage brother, who got his Uncle out of the room and slept in a sleeping back on the floor against the door all night to keep us safe. I fear for what may have happened to me on any one of those occasions, had good friends not come for me. Far too many are not so lucky. I learned from those experiences that I was not safe in this world. I had to always be vigilant and guarded and keep an eagle eye of protection on my female friends when we went out into the world. If I am alone at night, I fear for my safety. This is the world we live in.

As I got older and pursued a career, I experienced an entirely new form of sexual discrimination. Working as an Environmental Consultant at an Engineering Firm, I was sexually objectified out in the open, publicly on job-sites by both co-workers and clients alike. One time I was asked on the sly by a co-worker for the details about what was going on between me and another male co-worker. I learned that a rumour was going around my office that I was having an affair or at the very least, fooling around with one of the only friends I had at work. Keep in mind that there were only about 5 women in my entire office at that time. Yes, he was a Man and was happily married, I might add. I was also happily living common-law with a Man, who later became my Husband. Of course nothing happened between us. It didn’t have to. Just being friends with a Man was enough to arouse suspicion and start a vicious rumour that damaged my reputation at my workplace. On another occasion, I was asked to provide a character reference for an old school-mate who was applying for a job at my company. I told them that yes, he’s a great guy and a hard worker, and they should definitely hire him. I later found out that although I had been there for years already, had more experience and authority than him, and the same level of education, he was making more money than me. When I addressed it with the Office Manager in confidence, he told me that the new co-worker and his wife had a baby on the way, so he needed the money more that I did. I think that this was the first time I truly understood the nature of sexual inequality, and that it was indeed still alive and well.

Despite these experiences, I went on to work at a much bigger and more significant company, in a more responsible role. All went well, until I got pregnant with my first child. My intentions were to go back to work after my 1 year Maternity Leave, so through my pregnancy, I worked harder than ever to make sure all my ducks were in a row to ensure things would run smoothly in my absence. A few weeks before I was to leave, I brought some concerns to the table in a meeting with my department as well as several consultants I was responsible for managing. My Boss, said that since I was to be leaving soon, I “shouldn’t worry my pretty little head about it.” My concerns and suggestions were dismissed without further discussion. I was devastated, and humiliated in front of my peers and subordinates.

About 6 months after leaving for Maternity Leave, I spent hours on the phone to Human Resources about the daycare that was supposed to be going into my building for employees kids, that now wasn’t going to happen because the company had decided they could make more money renting the space for events. This left me in a very difficult child-care situation, where 1 year waiting lists for daycares was the norm. I also tried to negotiate more flexible hours, or the possibility of job-sharing, but alas, they told me my position held too much responsibility, required too much travel and wouldn’t allow for that flexibility. In addition I asked HR where the designated room is for returning Mothers to breast pump. I fully expected that for a huge company in a brand new, multi-million dollar state of the art building, full of women of childbearing age, that they had taken that need into account and provided a room for those returning from Maternity Leave who are weaning their babies from nursing. To my dismay, they had no such room, or fridge to store the breast milk until the end of each day, and a mini fridge at individual desks was not permitted. It’s important to note that at the time, Maternity Leave was 1 year long, and the Health Canada recommended duration for breast-feeding was also 1 year. For anyone who has never breast fed a baby, it isn’t like a water tap that you can just turn on and off. A woman’s body produces enough milk to meet the demand of the baby, so weaning your milk production down until you no longer produce milk can take weeks, sometimes months depending on your baby’s needs. So, if you plan to breast feed for a year as recommended, you will likely still need to pump once you’ve already returned to work at the 1 year mark. That’s not to say anything of the choice to breastfeed for longer if you wanted to, which I did. Currently the Canadian Pediatric Society recommends, “…exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of life. At about 6 months, your baby will be ready for other foods, but you can continue breastfeeding until your child is 2 years of age and beyond.” My employer expected me to sit in a bathroom stall on the toilet to pump my breast milk, so my baby could eat and my breasts wouldn’t end up engorged, painful, or worse, with a mastitis infection. So, needless to say, with so many frustrating obstacles to face, in addition to the stress and emotional nature of returning to work after a Maternity Leave, I quit. It was just one more example of how the world I was living in was not designed for women. I payed back my Maternity Leave top-up money and I never looked back.

So yes, we live in a Man’s world, that has not been designed for women and all the changing roles they may have within their lifetime. A world where in the past women have had to use their physical beauty and manipulation to get what they needed or wanted because asking directly was not an option. We evolved into a time where women had to be quicker, smarter, have a thicker skin and more aggressive ambition than the men around them just to play on the same field, let alone be successful at the game. We have had to prove ourselves, being tested again and again to gain permission to play, and once we make it into the game, we have needed the resilience of a warrior to carry on through the sexism, objectification and the endless justifications required for our ideas to be heard, and our needs to be accommodated. Not to mention the sexual harassment, belittling and disempowering. Even in this environment, women have stayed their coarse. We have gained legal acknowledgement as “persons” instead of property. We have won the right to vote and own property. Despite the horrors of watching our sisters burn for their knowledge of the cosmic cycles, plant medicines and the natural processes of birth and death, we have gained the freedom to practice our crafts and arts, love and marry who we wish, and the right to keep our own name if we so choose. We have come so far because we have rallied together and not given up. We have learned to hold each other up, cheer one another on, and be companions and comforters through dark and difficult times. We have shared our knowledge, experience and gifts with one another through the generations that Her Story did not make it into History. We have been each other’s strength. A secret sisterhood. Keepers of the divine feminine, nurturing, protecting and blowing gently on the embers to keep the warmth and light going until the time comes to build a fire the likes of which the modern world has never seen. A fire that will cleanse all the pain and oppression and fear that has kept our world imbalanced for so long. A fire that will draw the women and men back together like moths to a flame and restore the balance.

Until then, women of the world, we must continue to rally together. We must gather and share our personal stories. We must honour one another and celebrate one another’s efforts and successes. We must support and sing one another’s praises. We must shed light on all the characteristics we have always had that have not been recognized in the past. We must cheer women on for their intelligence, creativity, innovation, and ingenuity. We must celebrate our intuition, emotions, sexuality and motherhood as divine. We must reclaim our sovereignty. We must love each other and hold one another up so fiercely that our love and encouragement resonates so deeply between us that it shatters the glass ceiling. We must fill future HERstory books with the power of love and compassion that make the history of war, fear and power struggles look like primitive child’s-play. Above all, we must love ourselves and stop looking for external approval and validation. There was a time not that long ago, that our sister ancestors were owned as property. The time has come to look that ugly past in the eye, allow it’s pain to rattle our bones and then step past it into our empowerment. Stop looking for a permission that will never come. Own yourself and take your position. The future is ours. The future is feminine.

“It is a happiness to wonder; — it is a happiness to dream.” ― Edgar Allan Poe, Complete Stories and Poems

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead —his eyes are closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, has also given rise to religion. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms—this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.” ― Albert Einstein, Living Philosophies

Today is Winter Solstice. It’s the darkest day of the year here in the western hemisphere of earth and a time of looking inward and creating our own light and warmth in anticipation of the holidays and ringing in of a New Year. It’s a time for reflection and anticipation. A time for mourning those we have lost and cherishing those we still have. It’s a time of celebration and renewal and of writing the last line of a chapter we must conclude in order to begin a new one. I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of this chapter, and an idea that has been percolating within me. The idea of wonderment.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Wonderment as “as state of awed admiration or respect.” The Mirriam-Webster Dictionary defines is as “astonishment, surprise, curiosity about something.” The Urban Dictionary defines it as “awe, wonder and amazement.” When we use the word wonder, we typically describe it as childlike-wonder. It occurred to me recently that the reason we say this may not be the fact that children are constantly making new discoveries and living life with curiosity, so they are often in a state of wonder, it may be, that adults are not living in this way. We seem to live within a society that encourages us away from our natural inclination to wonder. As a child we stop to investigate a bug on the sidewalk or a snowflake on our mitten and we are hurried along by the adults who have an agenda and schedule to keep, so we are snapped out of our state of wonder time and again. We are taught in school that it is not the questioning that is important, but the answer, the correct answer, to be exact. We are told that knowledge is power and to gain knowledge we must learn as much as possible about the discoveries and information gathered by those that have come before us. When we question things ourselves, we are told not to question, but to listen and pay attention to those who are older and wiser for the answers and not to challenge the way it is. We are systematically taught out of our natural instinct to question and be comfortable within a state of not-knowing. When we are out at a party and someone is talking about something we are not knowledgable about, many of us feel ashamed and would rather hide the fact that we don’t understand, than just ask “what do you mean?” Children ask questions freely and without fear because they have not yet been shamed or humiliated by a teacher or family member about not-knowing or getting it wrong. They have not been a tender pre-teen who has been laughed at by peers or humiliated in public when someone loudly responds to their innocent questioning “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT???” “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT???” I still experience this as an adult, because I continue to ask questions and not pretend to know things that I don’t. I admit I’m even guilty of saying “YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THAT IS?” to other people. Although, in my defence it’s usually in the context of discovering someone doesn’t know about a particular artist, band or author that is just so phenomenal, everyone should know about them. It’s never in the context of “you should be ashamed of yourself for not knowing the names of all the politicians who held office in your Province since 1974.”

The simple fact is, all of the important discoveries that have ever been made by a human being began as a state of curiosity and wonder. They began from a place of comfortably sitting within the feeling of not-knowing and asking all kinds of questions. Our society seems to deeply value the discoveries themselves, like penicillin or electricity, or telecommunication. Our world is forever changed by the internet and knowledge gained by NASA from exploring outer space, but this creativity and discovery would not have been possible without that magical thing we call childlike-wonder. The people who have gone on to make incredible discoveries or have created something spectacularly life-changing for human beings, did this despite social pressure to grow up, and leave childlike things like wonder behind, and replace them with dependability, strong work ethic and responsibility. We study the philosophers, the composers, the inventors and great business and industry tycoons, gaining their knowledge and insights, but are often not encouraged to be like them. Reason being, these individuals have often been school drop-outs, eccentrics, social outcasts, fringers and they did not accept arbitrary rules or limiting belief structures. They challenged the status quo and they didn’t allow what other people thought of them to discourage them from birthing crazy ideas and outlandish dreams for the future from that magical place of wonder. I imagine these individuals pissed a lot of people off. They likely held up the line at school to investigate that bug on the sidewalk or snowflake on their mitten. They likely got in trouble again and again for not following the rules or pushing boundaries and challenging authority and bureaucracy, and now we have them to thank for the rules they changed, boundaries they broke and bureaucracy they exposed as out-dated or unnecessary.

With a new year fast approaching, I have turned my mind towards the future. We face so many challenges as more people than ever before are becoming aware and accepting that many old ideas, systems and social and societal structures are no longer serving the greater good of the world. We face environmental, governmental and patriarchal concerns and epidemics that challenge us daily to choose a better way to live. People are waking up to it, shining a light on it and exposing it for all to see. People are finding their courage from within a state of fear and as I watch it all unfold around me, I find myself in a state of wonderment. From my own place of fear and sadness and dismay about the state of things, I see people rising up and it gives me hope and courage and empowers me to take my place in the shift. It is a wonderment beyond any I have felt in many years. I am immensely proud and inspired by the brave human beings of this world. I have typically felt that feeling of childlike wonder when marvelling at nature or the cosmos, but lately, I have been feeling it while observing humanity. I feel a deep sense of hope and possibility for the future. I see it in young people challenging old systems and small children who flatly refuse to accept outdated ideas about education and fitting in. All of it makes me smile deep into my gut.

Now is the time of the innovators, the discoverers, the creators and inventors. Now is the time to raise the next generation with their sense of wonder fully intact and not hindered by controlling, oppressive structures. Now is the time for the change makers and people with new ideas to rise up and unite. It’s a very exciting time to be alive in the world, and I am full of anticipation and motivation for the future. I for one, refuse to loose my ability to wonder and question and revel in possibilities that lie within the unknown. It is through our wonderment that we will find the answers we seek and create a better world.

“The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe about us, the less taste we shall have for destruction.” ― Rachel Carson

I’m going to let you in on a little secret of mine, that may not be so secret to other experienced vintage hunters. The art of antiquing, thrifting, picking, vintage hunting, or whatever you like to call it, is a sexy experience. It can take you from intrigue, to desire, to full pursuit, total desperation, and then complete and utter satisfaction. Can I get an Amen! No matter how many brand new shiny things you buy, you are never going to get that same satisfaction shopping in a mall or box store, where there are copies, upon copies, upon copies of the same thing. And if you missed out because you were the 333rd customer to want one, there are more copies in the back, you just have to ask. Don’t even get my started on all the environmental benefits of shopping second hand! That’s a whole other blog post!

Maybe when you walk into an antique store or thrift shop you just see a bunch of old stuff, someone else’s baggage, like looking into a crowd and noticing all the people who have had their hearts broken, so their inner light doesn’t shine as bright as it used to. When I walk in the room, I see potential. One woman’s cast off is another woman’s treasure. The possibility of having something exceptional, unique and rare, and ohhhh the beautiful things we will create together! It starts out simple and playful with no real intentions, just a fun afternoon out, but when the possibility of scoring something spectacular and unique is within your grasp, well, let’s just say it gets all the juices flowing. It’s as if it awakens the primal instincts of both the hunter and the gatherer within. The balance and equilibrium of the masculine and feminine inside your body like a playful tug of war, both wanting to get what they want. You will not leave unsatisfied. This is not your first rodeo!

You flip through racks of retro clothes that leave you reeling, a little drunk and giddy as all the wishes, desires and stories of all those who wore them before radiate from them to you. You meander along to scan vintage records, each one taking you on a convertible moonlight drive, playing one after the other dreamily through your head. You are on a pleasure cruise of the past and find yourself totally lost inside the memories of old, disconnecting from time and space and you find yourself existing in the places where dreams are of made of and then you happen to look up, half in a daze and it catches your eye. Across the room, through the crowd and clutter, a vintage leopard print coat with your name written all over it. You are pretty sure it sees you too. You freeze, like you’ve just become a leopard yourself and you’ve locked your eyes on a potentially delicious meal. It can trigger an intensity and excitement the likes of which I find hard to explain. I have been known to scream “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” while running like a maniac through an antique shop to some amazing thing I’ve spotted, or on occasion jumping up and down squealing like a child. Both of which are decidedly un-sexy behaviours. So this time, I straighten up, I shake my mane, shoulders back, chin up, I regain my cool and saunter over like I’m only mildly interested. It has to impress me first. I’ll need a closer look. When you discover, upon closer inspection that it is all you had hoped for and more, the feeling that transpires falls somewhere between, what I imagine a pirate might feel when they finally find the treasure they have been seeking across oceans of time, and the satisfaction a wild cat feels when it takes down it’s prey in it’s ravenous jaws. Both elated with gratitude and totally voracious at once. It’s like you’ve scored the mother load! To you it might be just a coat, but to me, to me it’s like a hot rush of inspiration, and I must act on it. Like a painter who’s just discovered a new colour and must capture it on canvas immediately. The possibilities are endless! It makes me want to drop everything I had going on for the rest of the day and just dream up all the stories that can and will be told with that coat. It’s a goddamn love story. Every time. Discovering it is a thrill, especially when it catches you off guard, and once you finally have it, it’s soooooo satisfying. Sexy. “Would you like it in the bag?”. “Why yes, yes I would.” Now home to sleep, I’m spent!

Before I knew it she was walkin’ next to me, singin’ “Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do”Holdin’ my hand just as natural as can be, singin’ “Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do”We walked on (walked on) to my door (my door)We walked on to my door, then we kissed a little more

Whoa-oh, I knew we was falling in loveYes I did, and so I told her all the things I’d been dreamin’ of

VINTAGE FASHION: The infamous leopard print coat, Scottish military piper jacket, Indian textile vest, and white fur stole ALL from Found On Corydon (a.k.a. Metalphysical Moon), in Winnipeg.

PHOTOSHOOT LOCATION: I had the privilege of doing this photoshoot in one of my favourite vintage/antique stores in Winnipeg, Found On Corydon (Metalphysical Moon), located in the heart of Wolseley. It is an absolute treasure trove that would titillate even the most experienced of vintage and antique hunters. You could comb through for hours and never find all the hidden gems in this store. The store itself is a treasure. It’s like a museum warehouse of artifacts from every era and background. A bohemian paradise reserved only for the truest treasure seekers. The ones who seek the diamond in the rough, and the stories behind each item. While I also love to shop expertly curated vintage in tidy rows of lovingly decorated and designed boutiques in Winnipeg, there is nothing quite like the satisfaction of the hunt. Every time I go, I feel as though I’ve been given special access into a dragon’s lair where many years of treasure have been lovingly collected and guarded. Except the owner, Candis Militere is no dragon. Far from it. She is a sweet and kind hearted lady with an artists heart, who I’ve had the privilege of bonding with over a shared passion for old treasures.

NOW is a great time to check out Found on Corydon (Metal Physical Moon) if you haven’t yet because they are re-orgainizing, and clearing space out! There are DEALS, DEALS, DEALS to be had until December 27th! Clothing is buy 1 get the 2nd 1/2 price. They have a DISCOUNT JAR for furniture sales where you get to pick your discount from 25% to 50% off. BOXING DAY will be 50% OFF everything in the store!!! Don’t miss out Winnipeg!

“New moon’s kick-ass list: feel the feels, release your pain, get present, be grateful, ask for help, pray, make change your greatest ally, allow every chapter to reveal a new superpower, set your own pace, don’t worry about “time”, stop competing and belittling, walk the path of your own authentic heart, love how you wanna be loved, relax into your life, travel inward to places you haven’t been before, forgive and cut chords, be patient and dedicated to your higher self, and remember to sparkle, bro. That’s it.” – Tanya Markul (Thug Unicorn)

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ― Maya Angelou

As I sit here typing this on my laptop, there is a warm golden sunbeam shining on me through my front window. I am snuggled on my antique couch I scored dirt cheap and I’m wrapped in an insanely soft leopard print throw blanket I just snagged for a double-discount. I’m sipping the perfect cup of coffee made just how I like it. Comfort and serenity does not require a 5 star resort, or day at the spa. It can be created within your own living space and it doesn’t have to cost a fortune, in fact, it shouldn’t. Keeping it simple and affordable will keep the emphasis on meaningfulness and authenticity which will make you feel more satisfied with your creation in the long run.

I have come to recognize through my own commitment to personal growth and doing the work of intentionally transforming my life into what I want it to be, that our environment can be incredibly helpful to us. Doing the work of getting to the core of who we truly are through balancing the mind, body and spirit, is definitely a joyful and meaningful process, but let’s face it, it’s sometimes also painful. Facing your fears, healing old wounds and pushing personal boundaries can be uncomfortable, lonely and scary. It’s also a daily challenge to stay inspired and motivated and not slink back into unhealthy lifestyles and old destructive patterns. Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, our own transformation leaves us vulnerable, sensitive and feeling raw. Taking our cues from the all knowing wisdom of Mother Nature, we too require a protective chrysalis when we intend to transform ourselves. The good news, is that this doesn’t need to be a difficult task and the gains can be quite literally life changing.

While we are limited by only 5 well-developed senses, they are powerful tools that can help put us into the right mindset for personal improvement. Maybe you would like to spend more time meditating, doing yoga, dancing, reading, journaling or just taking a rejuvenating nap. By intentionally creating a space within our home that ignites peaceful feelings within us, we make it easier for ourselves to commit to doing those things we love that are so transformative. Just the simple act of filling a small space with things that make us feel good is a start. Once your eyes are happy, maybe some tranquil music or a little trickling fountain will provide the right sound healing. Make yourself some tea or hot cocoa to warm up your tastebuds. Put on some clothes that feel really good on your skin, light a candle for ambiance and wrap yourself in your coziest blanket. Now that you’re feeling wonderful, take the whole space to the next level by appealing to your sense of smell. Often overlooked, our sense of smell is incredibly powerful and is significantly linked to memory. Many of us have experienced memories triggered by certain smells and we are continually creating new memories linked to new scents all the time. So, why not intentionally choose to introduce scents into your mind/body/spirit practices that you will learn to associate with peacefulness, tranquility and your own personal evolution?

I have recently been introduced to Brie’s Botanicals, which have become a go-to, to immediately boost my mood and make my home feel like a haven. There is something so simple yet powerful in the experience of returning home from a hectic day and being greeted by a comfort-inducing scent like their Holiday Spice Air Freshener, or Festive Forest Oil Blend. I give myself and my pillows a spritz of Lavender Love Mist (hair, body, face and pillow spray) before I go to sleep each night, and it feels luxurious. My kids now ask for me to spray their pillows with I Love You to the Moon Mist, or Serenity when I tuck them into bed, because it helps them fall asleep. Every day when we return home from school pick up, they say “it smells so good in here!”. That is a little piece of happiness! Brie’s Botanicals are a simple and affordable way to make a real and immediate impact on your feelings of well being. Arriving home and getting to spend time in your self-created space should be therapeutic, comforting and a joy you look forward to. Our home should be our sanctuary where we are able to lighten our heavy load, recover and recharge.

Here’s the best part, Brie’s Botanicals are made with 100% pure, all-natural essential oils, spring water and are charged with Reiki, as Brie Henderson, the product creator is also a Certified Reiki Master and Yoga Instructor . All of Brie’s Botanicals are biodegradable, antibacterial, antimicrobial, antiseptic, antiviral and CHEMICAL FREE! It’s no wonder their Multi-Purpose Cleaner and Om Shanti Yoga Mat Cleaner are customer favourites! I’m particularly enamored by their Gem Infused Mists which each have different gemstones inside (eg. quartz, rose quartz, moonstone, green aventurine, amethyst, etc.) that are purposefully chosen for each of their different blends. Soon to become treasures for my kids when it’s time for a re-fill! To top it off, Brie’s Botanicals are committed to being environmentally, ethically, and socially responsible. You can return your used bottles for a $1 discount off of new purchases. Wait, it gets better! They are a locally-made Winnipeg company! You can order directly from their website here, or find their products at their partner businesses throughout Winnipeg!

Do yourself a favour and get familiar with the transformative powers of Brie’s Botanicals! I promise you, they will be a welcome addition to your daily rituals inside your intentionally created chrysalis space and they’ll make it just that little bit easier to get down to the business of transforming yourself into the best possible version of you!

Special note: The painting in these photos was created by my two sons Lief and Finnley, my Husband Gregory, and I all together on the beach last summer. We captured the process which is included in a previous blog post The Art of Life.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. *1

What have they done to the earth?
What have they done to our fair sister?
Ravaged and plundered and ripped her and bit her
Stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn
And tied her with fences and dragged her down
I hear a very gentle sound
With your ear down to the ground
We want the world and we want it
We want the world and we want it now *2

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer
Let it be

For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, Let it be *3

How many ears must one person have
Before he can hear people cry?
And how many deaths will it take ’till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friends, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind *4

So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes Turn and face the strange Ch-ch-changes *5

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm, mmm, mmm
Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I’m getting older too *6

Well, I won’t back down
No, I won’t back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won’t back down
No, I’ll stand my ground
Won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand my ground *7

Let’s get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One Love!)
So when the Man comes there will be no, no doom (One Song!)
Have pity on those whose chances grows thinner
There ain’t no hiding place from the Father of Creation. Sayin’: “One Love”! What about the One Heart? (One Heart!) What about the – ? Let’s get together and feel all right. I’m pleadin’ to mankind! (One Love!) *8

Lay down your funky weapon, come join us on the floor
Making love and music’s the only things worth fighting for
We are the new power generation, we want to change the world. *9

But it’s been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise. I consider it a challenge before the whole human race, and I ain’t gonna lose. We are the champions, my friends. And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end. We are the champions. We are the champions. No time for losers ‘Cause we are the champions of the world. *10

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will live as one *11

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change
You gotta get it right, while you got the time
Cause when you close your heart
Then you close your mind *12

The days are shortening and the darkness and cold is seeping in slowly like a fog, a little more each day. I no longer feel fresh and new like the first sprouts of spring. This does not sadden or disappoint me. Instead, I feel ripe, potent and intense like the sweet heady scent of decaying leaves with wafts of cinnamon and smoke from burning stubble on farmers’ fields. The air feels crackly and thin giving me shivers and making the little hairs all over my body stand on end, telling me daily that I’m not alone. On the contrary, I am closer to all things than I am during any other season. It is the time of great dying, when Mother Nature transitions from a time of life and growth and prepares for a great sleep after giving us her harvested bounty and moving towards the season of death. All times of transition can be times of great reflection. The darkening days reflect the shadows within our own souls that we must attend to and heal. All of us carry darkness that we must not fear and turn away from, but instead, look deeply into and move through it, like we move through winter towards the light and re-birth on the other side. The fall transition is a time of gratitude for the abundance received all summer and a time of preparation for the dark cold days where we must create our own light and warmth by turning within and projecting outward.

The veil is thinning.

The realms of the living world and spirit world are transitioning and in flux. The memories of loved ones that have passed come to us in dreams. We feel them closer than we tend to at other times of the year. We are reminded of our own mortality. We are reminded that like the seasons, we too are markers of time, change and transition. This is not morbid or negative. It serves as a reminder that we are all an integral part of everything. All life and all death. All lightness and all darkness. Connected.

As we age, we are given signs that we are getting closer to who we actually are, which lays just out of reach on the other side of the veil. Every wrinkle, age spot and change within our physical body is not something to hide, fear or loathe. We miss the point when we do not honour that they are signs that we are coming back to our source. We are getting closer to ourselves. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. This has nothing to do with religion or dogma, it means that our spirit never ages, but gets clearer and clearer as time moves on and our physical form fades. Have you not noticed that as people age, they seem to grow into themselves? When you speak to older people, they tend to talk about how they have become more confident over time, more self assured and have learned to care much less about what other people think of them. They may become more free or eccentric as time marches on. They may take more risks and do things that they never would have done when they were younger. They may become quiet, introspective, thoughtful and peaceful. They are not as rattled or as emotional about things that happen in life. They grow more patient, compassionate and generous with themselves and others.

Aging is a great gift and a mirror reflection of nature all around us. Just like we cannot stop winter from coming, we cannot stop aging, yet there are endless anti-aging products and techniques out there that are sabotaging our personal growth. They teach us to fear and be ashamed of aging. They teach us to hide it and covet youth which carries a great illusion of power. It is one of the great many lies that keep us from our own growth. This is not to say that beauty products or adornment are wrong or do not have their place. On the contrary, they can help us celebrate ourselves and the beauty of our own evolution at every stage of life that we move through. It is when the culture of shame and anti-aging takes over and manipulates us into striving for the illusion of youth that it becomes so damaging to the human spirit. The constant effort and attempts to look younger, spending money, time and energy on a losing battle, instead of on the development of spirit and character is robbing us of so many opportunities to evolve and grow into our potential. It stagnates us, so we are so glamoured by our own reflection, we forget that the true meaning of our life lives on the inside, where no one can see. Aging, like the changing seasons is a great teacher which never stops giving us opportunities to learn and grow until our time earth-side has come to an end. Whether or not we pay attention to the lessons and decide to learn from them becomes a matter of personal choice.

You may have heard the expression “what we resist, persists”. We cannot resist age, just as a flower cannot bloom forever, nor does it try to. Instead, it spends it’s time reaching for the light and growing as vibrant and to it’s fullest potential as it possibly can within the time it has before it’s death. It does not fear death, or try to stop the inevitable. It knows that this would be a waste of it’s energy in the limited time it has. We can learn a lot from a flower. We can learn a lot from the natural cycles of nature. We can learn from the thinning of the veil that occurs every autumn that we are nature, and nature is us, and it is precisely in that place where the physical world and spirit world connect that we find out who we actually are. But only if we choose to pay attention and learn.

Posts navigation

Patron Of Dreams

For the creatives of the world, whose imaginations are ripe with magic and a leonine desire to make their dreams come true. Tara Cole-McCaffrey creates and expresses through fashion, dance, film, and all things aesthetic. She is a stylist, blogger, performer and liver of life. She is realizing her dreams and she wants you to realize yours.

She is the Patron of Dreams.

Follow Blog via Email

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.