hello folks,
i am a straight guy and have never watched gay porn . nor do i have gay friends. my idea of gay sex i.e. 'what do two average gay guys do?" comprises of fellatio and anal intercourse. and i daresay most straight people have the same notions about gay sex. but there has got to be more to it than that? for example foreplay and the like?
could any gays throw some light on this? what is the regular sex routine for an average gay couple?
are there special areas of interest that you like in each other's bodies? erogenous zones? techniques and so on?

hello folks,
i am a straight guy and have never watched gay porn . nor do i have gay friends. my idea of gay sex i.e. 'what do two average gay guys do?" comprises of fellatio and anal intercourse. and i daresay most straight people have the same notions about gay sex. but there has got to be more to it than that? for example foreplay and the like?
could any gays throw some light on this? what is the regular sex routine for an average gay couple?
are there special areas of interest that you like in each other's bodies? erogenous zones? techniques and so on?

Gay sex is not that different from straight sex. Just like straight sex there is no set plan for foreplay, it could involve touching, kissing, fondling, sucking, wanking, teasing etc. This can carry on from a few minutes to hours and might just stay at that. Gay sex does not = anal. Just as some straight couples practice anal, so do gay couples (although the prevalence is probably higher). Some sexual encounters will include anal and others not. Some gay men prefer to exclusively top and others elusively bottom, but other are versatile and they both top and bottom. Versatile is fun as both partners can end up screwing each other in the same encounter.

You keep on referring to 'routine', they can become boring and I try to avoid them at all cost.

There is not standard erogenous zones for gay men and they vary from person to person.

A gay couple isn't much different than a hetero couple. My boyfriend and I engage in a lot of teasing, joking around, sexual talk, loving talk, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, touching, and the like, just as you would expect two people in love with each other to do. Okay, to a straight guy, two guys kissing each other probably sounds like the ultimate embodiment of pure horror, but my boyfriend and I are gay, or at the least at the gay end of the sexual spectrum - yes, we both love and live with our respective wives. And as such, we feel a strong romantic and emotional love for each other that is every bit as intense and as comforting and rewarding as our physical love. Yes, our kisses are open-mouthed, with tongue! Sounds awful, I know!

In bed, what do you and your wife or girlfriend enjoy doing? Yes, my boyfriend and I love oral and anal sex. But we also enjoy kissing, cuddling, fondling, foreplay - the same things hetero couples like to do. After sex, I love to just lay next to him with my head on his chest as he holds me - very comforting, very peaceful.

In our relationship, my boyfriend and I are equals, best friends, confidants. We give each other love, comfort, and emotional support. In our sexual relationship, he is a total top, and I'm his bottom, and we wouldn't have it any other way. I absolutely LOVE getting his big cock up my ass - I've enjoyed anal penetration since I was 11 or 12. He hates being penetrated, but he absolutely ADORES fucking me in the ass. So we fit together perfectly - I have no sexual or emotional need to get my dick into him, and he doesn't want it there. (We do kid each other about me topping him, though - "Wow, babe, you have some really cute cheeks! Why don't you just go to sleep for a while?")

While anal sex is our favorite, most exciting, most pleasurable, and most gratifying and fulfilling act, we also both love sucking each other's dicks. Cocksucking is an act of foreplay, getting him rock-hard and ready to fuck me, and he sucks me to give me some pleasure before he stuffs his dick up my ass. And cocksucking is also an act itself, ending in a mouthful of cum and swallowing. Yes, we both love the feeling of a cock in our mouths, and of that cock throbbing and spurting as we bring our lover to orgasm, and we love the taste, warmth, and texture of semen in our mouths. He's told me many times that I'm the best cocksucker he's ever had - and he has experience that makes that a supreme compliment! As for him sucking me, he tells me I'm the first man he's really loved sucking. I cum a LOT when I achieve orgasm, and my lover usually shares my load with me - "snowballing" - by giving me an open-mouthed French kiss and pushing most of my semen back into my mouth.

My boyfriend also LOVES rimming me - eating my "pussy." To say that I love it when he licks my little hole and pushes his tongue into me would be an understatement! He usually does this as foreplay to fucking me silly. Our 69's are me on top of him with his tongue up my butt and his cock down my throat.

I also enjoy wearing women's underwear and lingerie (see my gallery). I'm not "fem" in the slightest, on the outside - if you ever met me, you would think I'm the straightest arrow in the quiver, so to speak. But inside, I've always felt feminine, and have wondered for decades why I wasn't a girl. I love wearing panties, bras, thigh-highs, babydolls, cami tops, teddies, etc. - they heighten my own interior feelings of femininity when I'm wearing them and when I'm in bed with him. And he loves me in them. It's an enormous turn-on for him to fuck me in a tight bustier, a little garter-skirt, a thong, and lace-top thigh-highs. And of course, it's an enormous turn-on for me to wear those things and get my brains fucked out! Many's the time that he's fucked me senseless until he's cum in me, and stayed hard, aroused, and turned on to the point that he kept fucking me until he came in my ass again only ten minutes later!! It might be hard for a straight guy to relate to, but can you imagine the feelings of sexual fulfillment I get from giving my man that much pleasure??

Our gay sex, just like a hetero couple's straight sex, can be slow, loving, and gentle - truly "making love." And oftentimes it is raw, primal, aggressive, noisy, rough, animal. It all depends on our moods, what we need, and how long it's been since we've seen each other. Sometimes, his big cock is in me for more than 45 minutes before he cums, and he lovingly and passionately fucks me while our mouths are locked together and we're in each others' arms in a tight missionary embrace. Other times, he has an overwhelming and urgent need to empty his balls (he's such a guy!), and with no foreplay and barely a greeting, he shoves his dick up my ass and slam-fucks me in a doggie position for only five minutes before pumping his load up my butt. And by the way, we are both tested, clean, and devoted, and we left condoms behind a long time ago. I do not recommend this for everyone, but it is what we want and need.

I hope that helps you understand that a gay couple in love isn't really different from a hetero couple! Yes, my boyfriend and I have the same sexual plumbing, but very, very different sexual identities and psyches. And the love, emotion, adoration, and care we have for each other and express to each other are no different than any other two people in love!

gecko and nicky,
sincere thanks for your replies. nicky you have candidly described your experience in anal intercourse so i would like to get somethig cleared from you.
i have gotten my girlfriends to use ass-pegs and dildos on me and occasionally a strap-on. two things invariably happen. first i lose erection when i am penetrated anally (though i am getting exquisite erotic sensations).secondly i feel the dildo probing my prostrate and exciting my seminal vesicles. this gives me an 'about to ejaculate' feeling but i never eject any semen at all. this 'dry retching' is frustrating as hell.

now the question i want to ask - have you ever ejaculated by recieving anal sex WITHOUT TOUCHING YOUR PENIS?

before my experiments with anal pegging i had assumed this scenario in gay anal sex- one guy bangs the other - the banger comes in the banged one's ass while the banged one shoots into the air!! does this ever happen?

Losing an erection when anally penetrated is very common. There are loads of blood vessels down there, and when a toy - or a cock - gets pushed up your ass, that intrusion can interfere with the "plumbing." No cause for concern at all. When my boyfriend fucks me, I usually lose some firmness in my hard-on, but stay in a state of being semi-erect. That said, when I occasionally prepare ahead of time with one of those "little blue pills," strictly for the fun of it, he can fuck my brains out, and I'll stay rock-hard throughout. It is incredibly fun and fulfilling.

About the stimulation and massage of the prostate, that's all in what you like and what you enjoy about sex. Personally, when I'm wearing one of my favorite buttplugs, or my boyfriend is fucking me in the ass, I too feel that right-on-the-very-edge-of-orgasm feeling nearly throughout the whole experience, and I LOVE it!! Being pushed right to the sexual precipice, so to speak, by my lover's big dick up my butt, is UNBELIEVABLY pleasurable! During some of his long lovemaking acts, when he has his cock in me for a half-hour or more, for me, it feels like a half-hour-long orgasm. Yes, to get down to it, it's a type of orgasm denial, I suppose, but I am highly anally aroused, and I love every minute of it. If it's been a long time since I've had an orgasm (sometimes as long as a week or two - I'm not one to jerk off or have sex with my wife every day), when he pushes into me, I feel a surge in my balls and prostate as he strokes his cock into me, and oozes of cum will roll out of my dick when he fills up my "pussy" balls-deep. Incredibly delightful!

Have I ever cum solely because of the pleasure of anal penetration? Yes! Many times! When I was a younger man... Sigh... Men are quicker to cum when their younger - no surprise there, I'm sure. Not so much these days, now that a half-century is behind me. When I was younger, I could also spontaneously cum when I sucked a man's cock to orgasm - didn't happen as often, but it did occur a few times. The very first time I blew a man (I was 22), the feeling of his big cock in my mouth, and of his sweet, warm semen spurting, filling my mouth with the taste and feel of him, and filling my head with the excitement that at last I did something I had fantasized and desired to do for a decade (yes, really), I erupted a HUGE load in the little bikini brief I was wearing. I never touched my cock at all, but I was so sexually aroused it simply overwhelmed me. His wife, who was watching me, was amazed!

If you see gay porn with young actors (always over 18!!), you will occasionally see a man orgasm spontaneously as he's being fucked. It's not that common, but it is out there. I've seen one clip where one man strokes his partner, who's seated between his legs in front of him. They're not fucking, but the man in back is very gently stroking and caressing his friend's nearly impossibly hard cock. Through a combination of teasing, edging, and orgasm denial, he finally makes his friend ejaculate three times in two minutes. It's very hot.

When my boyfriend and I have sex, I'll often forgo orgasm the first time he fucks me. He will typically - when we have three or four hours together - get hard and fuck me three times in a three-hour period. I'm a pure bottom, and get - by far - the vast majority of my sexual fulfillment from being his lover, and from providing him an avenue for sexual release, whether it's my mouth, or my pussy. In bed with him, I'm not a "man" who needs to cum. I become very feminine in that I'm in bed with him to please him. This might be hard for a straight guy to understand, but it's how my sexual brain is wired - women can probably relate better. I get an enormous amount of comfort, fulfillment, peace, and gratification when he fucks me and cums in me, or when I suck his cock and swallow his load. I don't need to cum every time he does, and I don't want to. I'm there to make HIM cum, to satisfy him, to do anything and everything he wants, and give him the pleasure and release I know he needs.

When he fucks me and I do cum, it's usually from either him or me jerking myself off while his dick is up me. Some guys don't like to cum when a cock is up their ass, because the rhythmic clenching of the sphincters of the anus when they're already stretched around a two-inch-thick cock can cause discomfort. I, however, LOVE to cum when his dick is stuffed up my butt, because they're the most powerful and rewarding orgasms I have. I always have to warn him, though, because as my asshole and muscular channel clamps down on him, I can squeeze him out pretty easily! Needless to say, he LOVES having his dick balls-deep in me when I cum, because the sensations he gets as I orgasm are heavenly!

And other times, he'll fuck me once or twice, and I'll still forgo orgasm until he sucks my cock. He is a wonderful and loving cocksucker, and he usually accompanies his oral skills with a long finger up my ass. I cum a lot when I orgasm, and as I mentioned before, he usually shares my load with me, which I greatly enjoy.

I have, on several occasions when my boyfriend is REALLY horny, gotten him to a very high state of arousal. When this happens, he fucks me for 20 or so minutes, taking it slow and edging, denying himself the quick cum, until he can't take anymore, and finally pounds my hole furiously for five minutes until he blasts his load up my butt. After he comes down a bit, he's still hard and buried in me, and he'll start fucking me again, spreading his semen around in me, thoroughly coating the walls of my love tunnel, "marking his territory." I keep up the pressure on him, working my muscular channel on his cock (Kegel exercises - they're not just for the girls!), and the sensations for him are so fulfilling and so exquisite that only five minutes after cumming in me the first time, he's once again grunting and plowing my hole with that urgent single-mindedness (He's such a guy! He has a one-track mind, and I love it!) while I work his cock, making love to my man's delicious length with every skill I have. Less than ten minutes after his initial orgasm, he's pumping another load up my cunt! When this happens, it's always a very special treat, and he finally collapses on me, completely and utterly exhausted, dripping with sweat, and panting heavily! He tells me that when I do this, to him it feels like - with my pussy - I'm sucking his whole body into me through the end of his dick, and he says it's absolutely mind-blowing sex! For me, since I have a very feminine sexual ego, can you even imagine the feelings of accomplishment and fulfillment I feel, being able to give my man that kind of pleasure that he can get from no one else??

A quick aside - one of the first times he saw me cum: I was reclining on his couch and had his cock in my mouth as he stood straddling my chest. I was jerking off, and as I came, I erupted all over my stomach and chest. I kept cumming, and somewhere in the middle of my orgasm, I heard him mutter, "Oh, my god!!" I continued to spurt for several seconds before my spurts had slowed to long oozes out of the end of my dick, until finally it was over. My chest and stomach hair was matted with my semen from my belly button to above my nipples, and from one side to the other. And one spurt had hit him in the leg! Dave was amazed!

I sat there for a moment, and he said, "I have never seen a man cum that much!"

"Really?" I asked him. I had always cum this much, and never really had anything to compare it to, other than porn cumshots, which, in retrospect, I had always considered somewhat weak.

"You know," I told him as I sat there with my sperm glazing my chest and stomach like a sugar glaze on a coffee cake, "I've always heard that old comment about 'hand me a tissue,' and to me, it just never made any sense."

I guess I could add - though I doubt it comes as any surprise - I'm one of those men who greatly enjoys the annual "DRE" part of my routine physical examination!! Sometimes, it's all I can do to keep from cumming, and my doctor probably knows it.

And you men know what they say - "It's okay if your doctor puts one hand on your shoulder when he does it, but when he puts BOTH hands on your shoulders..."

My doctor is EXTREMELY attractive, and I would welcome a DRE with both of his hands on my shoulders! My boyfriend wouldn't be very happy with him, though!!

Hi nicky have been bisexual for around 8 year now and absolutely recognise so much of the beautiful,warm,human and intimate that you've wrote about !!

Obviously the physical side of things are well known to me and being naturally versatile I can see it from both you and daves perspective.

I began as most bisexuals do,mostly str8 that really loves sex and reaches the point of curiosity,what would it feel like to play with anothers cock !!!

Didnt work out that way because for all my assertions it was just sex I was in bed naked after sucking his cock.We kissed slow n deep,tenderly and needfully.

Then I began to realise it didnt matter that he was a man instead of woman cos he was human,he was hot n naked and bodily pressing against me becomeing more and more highly aroused.

Very much like you I didnt give in,surrender or get used because I couldnt resist.No like you I pulled him down on top of me and opened up for him.

What more could I ask for than to give him what he wanted,to be the willing object for his needs !!!

That was my first time but it was amazing because i learnt the sexual act is only part of the joy of being gay or bi and in my case i love being versatile cos for me sticking to being top or bottom limits the pleasure.

So I'm interested in your perspectives after reading this thread, I'm challenged with this because I've told myself I am straight for a long time but reality seems a little different. I like women and have had good relationships emotional and physical but I have an urge for guys. I've been with guys before physically almost exclusively as a bottom. I think that because it goes back like 8 years that goes beyond simple youthful curiosity. I've now reached the point where I cant think that this is youthful curisotiy and I want to figure out my next step. I had the opportunity to date one person I had a sexual relationship with but it never amounted to anything more than friends with benefits/fuck buddies because I was afriad of what that would mean, both with people knowning and him knowing. . It is a huge regret. I realize that there are spectrums of sexuality but I think I owe it to myself and my significant other to consider actually dating someone of the same sex to see if that feels right and then figure out where I belong.Has anyone done this? Any advice? I would prefer to test drive this before coming out. For those of you that are bi, how have you handled this?

nicky, from your answer i feel hopeful about having an anal-generated ejaculation. on to some other things that you mentioned. 1) you say you have wondered at times 'why wasn't i born a woman?' does every gay reach this stage at some time? 2) hypothetically would you go for a male-to-female sex change surgery? 3) hypothetically if you do would you like to retain your male genitals and become a shemale or go fully fem? 4) are these 'womanly' inclinations congruent to your urge to 'bottoming'? can you tell us something about the 'topper' psyche? 5) you have also said you are a lingerie wearer. now most transvestites scream themselves hoarse that they are NOT GAY. why is that? what is the difference? 6) a friend of mine in law enforcement recently told me about a case he had handled. a guy (catholic) broke off from his parents and applied for legal custody as he wanted to become a woman. curiously enough he has a steady boyfriend but denies being gay. says the guy is gonna marry him after his gender reassignment!! and they are gonna live as a 'normal' couple and will adopt akid in due time!! care to explain this?

1) you say you have wondered at times 'why wasn't i born a woman?' does every gay reach this stage at some time?

Absolutely not. Many (most?) gay men are perfectly happy being masculine men who simply love and have sexual relationships with other men. Some of us, however (and not necessarily "fem" ones), have what I can only describe as a very feminine sexual "ego." In my relationship with my wife, I'm masculine, and I feel that "maleness" when we have sex. But when I'm with my boyfriend, I feel, and I want to feel and look, extremely feminine. When we have sex, I make it about him and his pleasure, and what he wants from me. He fucks me whenever he wants, and I'll suck his cock whenever he wants, because I have a strong feminine drive to please him, and to satisfy all his sexual needs and demands.

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2) hypothetically would you go for a male-to-female sex change surgery?

No, never. I have no interest in living as a woman. While true, I have always wondered why I wasn't born a woman, the fact is that I was born a male, and I'll remain a male. I love having sex with my boyfriend AS a male, with all my male parts, thank you very much. That said, I have a deep interest in being my boyfriend's "woman" when we're in bed. You might now ask, "Is your boyfriend really gay?" Yes, he is! A very masculine, manly, and hung, alpha-male gay man, and he has no interest at all in having sex with a woman. Remember, a lot of sexual enjoyment and fulfillment is mental, and is quite beyond the physical. Of course that's how men are able to have mindblowing orgasms while fast asleep - wet dreams.

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3) hypothetically if you do would you like to retain your male genitals and become a shemale or go fully fem?

I think the above answer probably answers this also. However, my man is incredibly loving, and when I'm in bed with him, and wearing a bra, panties, and thigh-highs, he makes me feel like a supermodel. He caters to my sexual need and desire to be feminine, and he knows just how to push all those buttons.

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4) are these 'womanly' inclinations congruent to your urge to 'bottoming'?

Yes. I have always been a bottom for men. I have no interest, no sexual need, and no emotional need to fuck a man in the ass. Very LEAST of all my boyfriend.

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can you tell us something about the 'topper' psyche?

I don't think so!!

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5) you have also said you are a lingerie wearer. now most transvestites scream themselves hoarse that they are NOT GAY. why is that? what is the difference?

I don't think I can answer that. Just because a man chooses to wear women's lingerie doesn't automatically mean he wants to have sex with men. But transvestites that do enjoy sex with other men who then claim they're not gay are just being silly. Or delusional.

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6) a friend of mine in law enforcement recently told me about a case he had handled. a guy (catholic) broke off from his parents and applied for legal custody as he wanted to become a woman. curiously enough he has a steady boyfriend but denies being gay. says the guy is gonna marry him after his gender reassignment!! and they are gonna live as a 'normal' couple and will adopt akid in due time!! care to explain this?

Not really. If a person is born with an X and Y chromosome, he is a male. If he then enjoys sex with other men, put whatever label on that you want. Even if that person then has sex-reassignment surgery, the fact remains that he has an X and Y chromosome. In the case you cite, perhaps mental illness or something else is going on.