Frank Pittman

Frank Pittman

Frank Smith Pittman, III, M.D. (1935-November 24, 2012) was an American psychiatrist and author. He wrote a regular column, "Ask Dr. Frank", which used to appear in Psychology Today.

During his lifetime, he was a "widely quoted author" of Man Enough: Fathers, Sons and the Search for Masculinity and Private Lies: Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy. He was also author of books Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You a Happy Adult, and Turning Points: Treating Families in Transition and Crisis.

Dr. Pittman practiced out of Atlanta, Georgia, where he was active as a psychiatrist and family therapist from 1962 until his death in 2012. Both of Dr. Pittman's daughters are psychologists.

Infidelity was a central focus of Dr. Pittman's work. In a 1993 article for Psychology Today, he wrote:

"Day after day in my office I see men and women who have been messing around. They lead secret lives, as they hide themselves from their marriages. They go through wrenching divorces, inflicting pain on their children and their children's children. Or they make desperate, tearful, sweaty efforts at holding on to the shreds of a life they've betrayed. They tell me they have gone through all of this for a quick thrill or a furtive moment of romance. Sometimes they tell me they don't remember making the decision that tore apart their life: 'It just happened.' Sometimes they don't even know they are being unfaithful. (I tell them: 'If you don't know whether what you are doing is an infidelity or not, ask your spouse.') From the outside looking in, it is insane. How could anyone risk everything in life on the turn of a screw?"

In a 2000 interview, Dr. Pittman spoke about his view of "growing up."

"But growing up does mean that while your feelings are very interesting, they're not the only thing that's going on in the universe today. And however lovely your feelings are, and however fascinating your complicated state of mind, there are things that need to be done. And if you're going to take on a partner, there are responsibilities there. If you're going to have children, there are responsibilities there. And you can't really run out on those responsibilities and maintain much of a sense of honor and integrity. You can't run out on those responsibilities and really grow up in a way that makes you proud of your life's choices in the second half of your life."

In 2003, Dr. Pittman was recognized with the Smart Marriages Impact Award at the annual conference of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education.

"To our leader, our compass, our chief, in gratitude for helping us understand what men and marriage are for - just how much each needs the other - and, just how much we need them both."

Dr. Pittman died at his Atlanta home on November 24, 2012 of cancer. He is survived by his wife of 52 years, Betsy Pittman, two daughters, Dr. Tina Wagers of Boulder, CO., and Dr. Virginia Pistilli of Portola, CA.; a son, Frank S. Pittman IV of Atlanta, GA; a sister, Joanna Fox of Cashiers, NC, and seven grandchildren.

Famous quotes by frank pittman:

“Every boy was supposed to come into the world equipped with a father whose prime function was to be our father and show us how to be men. He can escape us, but we can never escape him. Present or absent, dead or alive, real or imagined, our father is the main man in our masculinity.”—Frank Pittman (20th century)

“The child who would be an adult must forgive the parents for all the ways they didnt raise him or her just right, whether their errors were in loving too much or too little. All parents, as parents of adults, do deflating things that make you feel like a child. If you have children, youll do those things too and eventually laugh about them.”—Frank Pittman (20th century)

“In colonial America, the father was the primary parent. . . . Over the past two hundred years, each generation of fathers has had less authority than the last. . . . Masculinity ceased to be defined in terms of domestic involvement, skills at fathering and husbanding, but began to be defined in terms of making money. Men had to leave home to work. They stopped doing all the things they used to do.”—Frank Pittman (20th century)