Thursday, August 23, 2012

Got a little twin time this morning.... last week before they start VPK.... pretty much their real school career.... Having so many emotions.... they are my little babies.... really struggled with this decision to let them go to the all day program. I know that they are growing up.... I know they have too..... I know that there is no stopping it.... They are amazing... I am on borrowed time with them.... They are entrusted to me by Him... to teach, love and nurture... prepare, guide.... and then.... let go of....so they can accomplish what is intended for them.... Their path.... not mine....

They may be slipping through my fingers..... but not my heart....

They will stay there forever.

Today we ate breakfast together on the bench.... played at the train playground chasing each other.... and of course checked out the crossing sign.

No matter how insignificant a crossing sign may seem to me.... Casen will notice them a mile away while driving in the car....He has already pointed 2 out to me during drives that are quite common to us that I have NEVER noticed before....

Amazing how their minds work... how they are so in tune with the details that we neglect as we grow older....

A simple thing.... like the thought of a train.... excites him... makes him happy.....

I pray that he never loses that.... that he may always hold fast to the simple things.... and the joys they bring. My house is quite right now.... still dark.... the twins asleep in our bed... Greg on the couch.... snoring lightly.... Cooper nestled in his bed.... birds starting to awake and chirp.... my coffee hot.... the simple things....

Monday, August 13, 2012

Greg & I have started this little tradition of taking turns taking the kids on special date nights.... We are on our second cycle..... Emy joined us for cook top Japanese at DaRuMa.... she was apprehensive, but then loved it! She ate edamame, ginger salad, clear soup.... filet, rice.... and carrots! We walked around a bit and finished with some ice cream... Emy enjoys nothing more than having our undivided attention.... She is in heaven on date nights.... but truth be told, Greg & I are as well....

To have Emy alone we get to see her true personality.... so inquisitive.... such a character and so over the top with her expressions and affection! She doesn't have to fight for attention, she has it.... and in turn it gives her a sense of self without the anxiety of having to compete with her brothers. We talk about her and answer all of her questions (and boy does she have questions).... but the biggest reward is her behavior for the days that follow. She is less likely to act out or be disrespectful.. She is more generous and giving and loving and affectionate toward us.... and her brothers....

It is sometimes hard to think of them as separate little beings..... so different.... with different needs....

Greg and I sometimes struggle with this as parents.... from recognizing them as individuals from day to day to bigger decisions that are starting to come....

God, today I pray that you help us to see them not just as a collective group of little beings.... but as the individuals you created.... help us to uncover them and all the special things they each have about them. Help us to understand them.... to guide them.... to nourish them....through the sunny days as well as the gray days. Help us to accept the things that challenge us about them and know that you have a plan for them.... for each little unique quirk that you installed within them is a tool meant to be used on their journey according to your plan....

Above all... help them to feel the love that Greg and I have for them.... each of them.... and know that they can always find safety in that love....

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

My two baby boys.... brothers.... are going to have a special friendship....

They are going to share things that I can't comprehend..... and it gave me comfort to know that they are going to have each other throughout their lives to lean on.... I will surely pray for that relationship for them

which lead me to my second realization...

2. I found this paci today..... and cried for hours..... I realized we are past this stage..... this is truly the last one in our house.... I remembered all the frantic nights rummaging through diaper bags and dishwasher baskets trying to find one.... I remember holding it in one twins mouth while nursing another..... I remember the way Cooper would hang it out the side of his mouth and bite on it like a chew toy.....

but in this realization there are so many more....

not just the passing of time.... of things that were once....

but of the present.... the now..... the train track cities on the floor....the forts for reading and snacking.... the coloring pages and painting.... the swimming.... the dance parties Daddy starts....

I realized that I need to be present.... soaking it all in.... it is ok to look back.... but not hold on.....

although I think it is ok if I hold on to this paci..... I'll hide it away..... and when I find it again.... I won't cry for hours.... but remember how small they were and smile with joy at what they are doing now.... in that new moment.

God, I pray that you continue to walk with our family on our journey and to smile at all the blessings.... turning our eyes toward the beauty of the day.....

Friday, August 3, 2012

When Greg would go out of town for a night or two.... I would come home to find little "love notes"...just simple, sweet little messages scribbled on whatever paper he could find..... taped to the cupboard or coffee maker....Just another chance to tell me that he loved me.....

Today I became aware of love notes of another kind.... a very sweet blog I follow reminded me to be in tune with another one who expresses his love for me a thousand times a day.....

Todays love notes came in the form of sprinkles and giggles....

images of Cooper trying to catch water in his mouth.... a puddle and all the fun it can hold....

watering cans.... squealing swings.... lemonade and a setting sun...

These love notes from God remind us of the beauty of life..... they fill my soul....

About Me

This is my second life: three kids, five and under....Being a mom is amazing... rewarding.... difficult....and loads of fun.... This is my journey with my children.... I document this time not only to share with my far away family and friends but also so my husband and I can look back and remember all the smiles, laughter, tears, battles and successes my family and I have had along this journey....