Share this Article

Author:

Tags:

There is a conspiracy to destroy America. If the last 10 years of convenient economic turmoil in a nation that has the world’s most powerful economy is not proof enough of this fact, consider the fact that the wealthiest Americans are abandoning ship.

It only stands that the wealthiest American of the modern age has introduced a new concept: timeline. All 300 million people on Facebook are now required to accept a timeline and we have to ask, why?

In your old Facebook layout, did you have any complaints? Was there any problem with the flow of your conversation or finding essential buttons on your pages? I think not. But now, there seems to be a major malfunction and problem. Young Facebook users are being subjected to the constant thought that time flow is linear and as such, are being tricked into concrete-minded conservative thinking.

I used to think the same way. In my days as fervent conservative and pastor, I would teach that time travel is impossible and that string theory was a Satanic lie meant for us to drive spaceships right into the portal doors of hell. Every hole in space was simply a sinkhole into Satan’s sulfur laced grave for the soul.

Now I can clearly see such rhetoric is harmful to America. The more Americans who subconsciously think of space as a stiff entity of floating heavenly bodies that can never be visited, the more Americans who think time flow is a linear one direction vector, the less Americans who will object to NASA being completely gutted. Without ambition, America will fail. Without reaching to the stars to strife, we will become just another fallen nation.

Mark Zuckerberg may have been bought out by the deep seated religious right. There is a contingent of wealthy families, made rich by centuries of dogma, who don’t want an Earth who explores space. My biggest concern and guess is that The Pope is ultimately behind the Facebook timeline redesign. The Vatican has the most to lose if Americans not only continue their goal of taking humanity to other planets, but also to find life on other planets.

The next time you use Facebook and post something to your timeline, no the Pope and many others are sitting in a dark, dank room of an old monastery, secretly liking your actions and finding comfort in their subliminal plan to trick you into thinking of time in a linear manner.

Also, I am having a hard time understanding this article, how is this ruining America? Also, i can guarantee that *easy* interplanetary travel wont be around in our generation, these things take time, and writing an article complaining about it is doing nothing to help us.