Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Today has been eventful, I'd say. I woke up at around 1 in the afternoon, thinking that I had the perfect sleep. Well I sort of did. The night before, I had the session with Rahman, and when our minds were so up in the air, he played all this rendition of songs that all people in their normal state of mind would find okay, but we found it highly soothing and melodious. Hence, the perfect night sleep.

At around 2pm, I gave Yus a call, to be greeted by the alarming news that we are supposed to finalise our stuff to be shipped back home to Malaysia by the night, although if I recall well, I thought that the finalisation should not be done until the next week. I was frantic; I haven't got boxes, I haven't decided on what to toss away and all in all, I haven't truly organize all my stuff properly that packing it to go back for good seems impossible!

I ran home to SUV from Bligh Towers and desperately multi-task myself into packing all my stuff, whilst running around Newtown in search of usable boxes and etc. When I thought that I'd have to ship my stuff alone at a later date (and paying all the taxes imposed alone!), as packing didn't seem feasible with my CK working shift at 6pm, I actually did it. Then it bugged me that Carrie Bradshaw took 3 days with the help of 3 friends to fold 2o years into 38 boxes. It took me less than 4 hours to pack up 4 years into 4 boxes, alone, with only Budin helping me in the last 40 minutes or so. Well, I guess I'm just not any New Yorker. White singlet and a 30 dollars Tsubi skinny has done me miracle!

(btw, if you missed the Tsubi sale at Paddington, which ran for some time and ended on Sunday 14th December, you have truly missed the wonders of SALE. My skinny dropped from the staggering AUD 250 to AUD 30, and so is Budin's, and Zarif's shade costed only AUD 80, and not AUD 400 anymore).

Work at CK was fine, it was quite boring that I couldn't even blogged about it.

Probably tomorrow I'll show Phil his carspace, have light breakfast with him, complete the sealings of all my 4 precious boxes, do some toning up at the gym and do the cleaning work from 4.30pm til 9.00pm. And oh! We're getting a new second-hand fridge tomorrow, which means I'll grow more muscles driving Izwan's van around. Perfect!

Friday, December 12, 2008

I like the colour red. No, make it I LOVE the colour red. I'm sure some of my close friends are well aware of that, but for those of who lacked quality time with me, yeap, I had always loved red and I tend to choose red over any other colours.

I don't just like the colour because of the essence it holds, but I sort of see myself in the colour red. In fact, I've started realizing that I like red since I was four years old. It was a bit early don't you think? But it's true. I was so certain about the colour that I've shown great affinities towards red at such early age (Proof: in 1990, my father bought my siblings and I story books of the same title. Whilst my brother and sister received one each in green, I received one in red. When i asked my father why he gave me the book in red, instead of purchasing all 3 books in green, he said: Sebab Papa tahu Mamat suka merah. That was in 1990, and I was indeed, freaking fresh and only four years old. To top it off, my brother and sister didn't entirely favour green, but my dad just had no idea what colours to buy them, but he knew Mamat likes red).

The next few paragraphs are entirely self-absorbed, but I'm sure red-lovers all around the globe will nod their heads in agreement;

First of all, we, the red-lovers, don't understand why other people don't favour red. Why don't you like red? How can you not like red? We think that liking red alone is a great portrayal of a certain strong traits that we want to possess in our lives, that we wonder; how come other people don't want these traits, that we tend to view as extremely vital? The red-lovers will surely agree with this; once someone likes the colour red, it is almost impossible for them not to like red anymore. Hence, we don't understand statement like this; "Oh, dulu mase kecik, aku suke warne biru. Mase sekolah menengah, aku cam suke kuning plak. Sekarang aku rase fevret kaler aku ijau". Most red-lovers will go like wth? How can you change your favourite colour? Yes, we grew up too, and I for instance, has discovered that I like blue and black too, and green is okay and brown is not that bad either, BUT, red will always top the other colours.

Well, colour experts argue that red highly symbolizes ambitiousness, passion, attention, daring, strong, patriotic and outstanding. So I believe what colour you like, to a certain extend, speaks for yourself. In fact, red-lovers view the colour red as so prominent, that we can spend hours to talk about the colour red itself.

Consider this (all three colours were carefully chosen so that they all 'stand out' equally against the black backdrop of this blog. Of course, I can't choose white, the exact opposite of black, or else it wouldn't be fair):

I like blue.I like red.I like orange.

Of all the three, which do you think strikes your eyes as more dominant? Red, isn't it? (That's what I think, and I found it hard to believe if you don't think like that hahaha. But yeah, if you see that orange or the blue as more striking, please let me know. I'd love to learn new perspectives on how other people view other colours too ;) ).

Scientifically, of all the 64 million colours in the world, shades of red has the shortest wavelength. Which means, if all 64 million colours of similar intensity were displayed right in front of you, the colour red will take the shortest time to reach your eyes, and it will tend to stay longer on your retina cells. I find that amazing, you know, given that we are talking about 64 million colours here.

But then again, to be fair, not everyone has that kind of attitude in life. Some are more relaxed and laid back (blue-lovers), some tend to be more peaceful in their mind (green-lovers) and some likes purity (white-lovers). But still, most red-lovers will go like, Hmm, but why not red?

What come to your mind when I say; World's most popular sports car? Or, English Premier League's most talked-about football club? If you think Ferrari and Manchester United, like I do, well they're RED. Of course, there are always exception in every scenarios, so let's not argue to much on this.

But yeah, it's a free world, and all colours are beautiful. It'd be boring too if everyone likes red. So I guess it's good that the variations in humanity are exposed through colours too.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Happiness deep down within,Serenity with each sunrise,Success in each facet of your life,Family beside you,Close and caring friends,Health, inside you,Love that never ends,Special memories of all the yesterdays,A bright today with much to be thankful for,A path that leads to beautiful tomorrows,Dreams that do their best to come true,Appreciation of all the wonderful things about you.

Alhamdulillah, my utmost gratitude to Allah, for He has blessed me with the abilities to go through this stage of my life, this stage in The University of Sydney. Now that I've met all the grades requirements, I am just going to complete the remaining days here with optimism and grace. With or without Honours, I will leave that to Allah to decide, for He know what is best for me. I won't worry myself on the Honours issue, as that may make me forget that I have indeed, plenty to be thankful for. Once again, I am thankful to Allah, Alhamdulillah.

Muhammad HAMIDBachelor of Engineering (Mechanical)The University of SydneyClass of 2008

Friday, December 05, 2008

well, lip lap lip lap, here we are it's December again. December is something you know, it's the month that signifies an end to yet another chapter, and of course it's the month when in Sydney all you will naturally plan to do is hoard more moolah, or trickle down to more new places, not worrying about assignments and better still, just do nothing while the time completes a dual-lap around the clock.

A lot of things has happened since I last wrote in here, well, given the fact that I've not been updating it for around 5 weeks, it's only natural to say, yet again, to say "a lot has happened" (yes, I have an eventful life, it's not boring and fabulous would be best used to describe it).

I submitted my thesis with Joe around November 6th, had a heavenly 2 weeks of nothingness (not exactly nothingness; waking up late, movie ultra-marathon, Sydney's indie cafes and taking a break from my cleaning shifts, whilst taking my own god-damned sweet time reading the two chapters for the IR&M Paper). Yeah, one of the perks of being a final year stud.

After the FINALest exam (and the only exam paper I had this semester), which was on the November 19th, I pretty much spent the time trying to look for a second job, on top of the cleaning job, just so you know, I can do another jalan-jalan Australia. But now that I've landed a job as a waiter with Cafe Kasturi (how cliche and normal, I know), with the cleaning job, I'm starting to become half-hearted about the trip. I mean, if travelling around Australia in a Greyhound coach requires me to enslave myself to about 8-9 hours of waitering and cleaning shifts, well, let's just say I'm not strong enough and not up to the challenge (simpler terms; aku penat nak kerja gila babi hanya untuk kumpul duit untuk berjalan...wtf).

Anyway, my final results will be out soon. I'm still leaning my hope towards Allah's mercy and endearment for a good overall results, with at least an Honours mark. And oh, I've been paying a visit to the gym almost everyday now, hoping to toned up my body, maxed up my weight (not maxed up, I'm talking about a 75 kilos weight for a 175cm height...PERFECT BMI) and to appear more attractive to a wider range of female.

To top up the crappyness of this post, here's my wish list for this December:1. A final WAM mark that would at least qualify me for an Honours Upper Division 2.2. The perseverance and determination to collect as much money as I can through cleaning and waitering jobs.3. A month-long trip around the continent.4. Nudie skinny jeans and the Stussy tool bag.5. There's more I'm sure, just can't squeeze it out my mind.

And to Idzani Bidzani Cidzani...Zidzani, have a safe train ride to Melbourne. Masa untuk ber-indie!

Monday, October 27, 2008

My laptop is fully functional again (more like semi-functional), I'm sipping mild coffee to help keep my eyes open at least until 10pm and I have just finished my last Monday in the university calendar ever.

Yeap, as cliche as it sounds that time does fly, I am actually now embarking on the journey of completing my degree. Just another one more Tuesday, one more Wednesday, one more Thursday and one more Friday.

Amidst the victorious tone that this post may hold, there's still some despair within it, being clenched by the thought of how there won't be any more classes soon. Of me not being a university student anymore. How can I freely let go of USyd, the place that had taught me to at least pretend that I have it all together, when actually most of the times I skidded from the right lane and sometimes, had everything fallen apart?

Ok, enough on the sappy mode. I have four more days, will give it my best and I will the work of my thesis with the little remaining days and turn it into a masterpiece like never before (*cross finger*). For the record, I am pretty happy with the Monday; I attended all the classes, I survived French Oral Test, I perfectly compiled my last 30-pages report and I signed my final plagiarism form. Pretty sweet eh?

I know a few things are coming my way in a few months; I need to learn to love my next residential area, and I need to learn to love my workplace. That's what had kept me going all these while, despite all the turbulences I faced. The thought of loving where I am is enough to give me a reason to leave my bed every morning.

To my final Tuesday, and to the final presentation. If tomorrow is worth living, then it's worth recording too. So I guess it's tomorrow then, till then, take care and love today. Love the Monday that is today.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hopefully my final raya in Sydney will be something of great memory, and I wanna thank Allah for all the blessings and personal growth that He showered me with throughout Ramadhan. Not my best Ramadhan I'd say, but better still, there's always something worth to be thankful about.

Another 4 weeks of my academic calendar, and I hope to make the best out of it. O Allah, give me the strength to go through it with the best abilities that I can. I have faith in myself.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The MGM crews and casts really had put up a show, it moved me and made me wanting to scream to them "THANKS FOR MAKING MY FINAL MGM WORTH REMEMBERING!!".

But I thought the MGM this year is a bit of a carbon-copy of last year's. Everything seems to be almost the same, but then again, they have to bear the same concept, so it's fine I guess. Again, good job to Nik Arif and team.

I missed the Sneaky Sound System gig at at George Street yesterday. I need a personal assistant who can arrange my schedules and give me a flair ass-whooping kick whenever I'm not doing my school work.

French quiz went alright.

Somebody in Kansas City loves me.

God answered my prayers a few days ago. These people can never be like me. They're the flawless pebbles. I'm the flawed diamond. Which one you'd rather have?

On a different note, I looked extremely good looking in almost all the MGM pictures this year. Well, the ones I have in my facebook. I can never go wrong with shirts (statement berlagak).

Friday, August 22, 2008

I don't like it when I feel nostalgic at night. You know, nostalgic about the past, and over what I have come across. And nostalgic on what probably will never happen again. Stuff like that. Simple stuff.

If you guys haven't watched the Cheers Beer ad in youtube, you guys are missing on one of the world's advertising wonders. I don't plan to put it here, perhaps you can spare some internet credit and search for yourself.

I just watched Alvin and the Chipmunks, about 20 minutes ago. Maybe it's a good idea if I have a pet. A pet that talks, and messes up my room it one adorable way so that it won't be too tiring to clean things up again and again (I sound like a lonely spinster).

I often had dreams where I am sort of living my last day in Sydney. Somehow in the dream I saw Jaih waving me goodbye at the airport (I don't know why him, probably coz I had him picking me and sending me to the airport couple of times), and Rahman telling me to still call him during my work lunch hour, and Yamud telling me the next year will be so boring without me, and me telling Erin to look after UMNO properly. OMG I'm so POYO.

But seriously, I had those kind of dreams a lot. I guessed I've wrote about this hell lots of times, but I think I will have a hard time leaving Sydney soon. Not looking forward to that day.

I have cleaning work in about 3 hours, so I can't sleep. Can't afford to oversleep, waking up late and hearing the French merchant telling me to get 50 alarm clocks and place it on my nose or behind the door (???). He WAS furious the last time I didn't wake up on time.

On a wow-I've-done-something-new-today tone, I drove Izwan's newspaper van all over Pyrmont just now. I wonder he delivers newspapers with that van everyday. Sailing a yacht would have been a lot easier, I guess.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I can see from my window that the person inhabiting the room across the block right in front of my room is watching Olympics Volleyball. There's so many interesting other sports to watch on TV now that Olympic is taking over our lives, why the hell do you have to watch Volleyball?

Oh, it's a girl, padanlah.

And yesterday, Dirah said that she saw a guy totally naked in his room across the block, but this time, from Bhozai's room. Pelik, sumpah pelik!

My thesis presentation is in 2 weeks time. *choked*. And I have a French quiz next week, and I'm still behind by 3 chapters in the damned French novel. September 2nd is the dateline for Renewable Energy HUUGGEEE assignment.

On the good side, I have only 9 weeks left in uni. But with all the workloads, 9 weeks seem forever.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I wonder sometimes why is it that my mobile alarm clock snoozes every 9 minutes? Why not 8, or 7? Or to make things A LOT simpler, why doesn't it snoozes every 10-simple-fucking-minutes?

My thesis is giving me a pendulum ride of uncertainties. One minute, I know I can finish it, and get it all over with, and the next minute, I'll be wondering what is my topic actually all about, and could this be the reason I won't graduate with honours? Another 22 days before the thesis presentation. God, please help me.

I have HUGE plans for my summer break. But right now, I hate to even think about it, because when you thought about your favourite plans too much, they just don't turn real. For the same reason why you just have to drop your most favourite gadget, and of all places, it hits the hard cemented floors. For the same reason you can't wake up in the morning when you have the week's most important class.

I walked accross the Harbour Bridge again today, back from work in Kirribilli. THE only reason I'm still not switching to a new job is because this cleaning job makes me venture to more new suburbs. Did I tell you I enjoyed my 1 hour brisk walk from Woolloomoolloo to Newtown? That has got to be the highlight of my life. I lied.

And sorry Mr Grewal, I have lied so much to you in my thesis work. I hope you reward me with a High Distinction for that. Porsche aren't THAT great. Their advertisements are too philosophical and they always magnify stuff that is not worth it. It's ironic when the founder's name is shortened to Ferry Porsche (from Ferdinand Porsche), and the car he made rivalled that of Ferrari (often shortened to Ferry).

And Petronas, I hope to start working with you in May 2009, or better still make it June. I need a break from you around me, I've had enough. Please fuck the two towers, so there's gonna be a third. But still, thanks for spending half-a-million-fucking-ringgit for my tuition fees. I know I'm worth the trouble.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I haven't had the chance to update my blog for a long long time, I know. For those of you who didn't care much, I'm sorry. And for those of you who considers yourself to be an avid reader of the Bygones, I salute you with a warm gesture; I'm BACK!

Recent events had made me realised that I can only count on myself. I had high hopes, but it didn't turn into reality. But I know I will survive this. Because I am not weak.

My winter break has been fantabullousrrififc! My best winter break, I dare say. But at the moment I'm too lazy to even blog about it, but to cut things short, I'm happy the way it turned out. Thanks to everyone who were part of it!

I want an even better results this semester. But as I am more than aware of, God give you what you deserve, not what you want. I'm all up to it.

And I will do what it takes so that I'll be able to carve a sincere smile on my face when I leave Sydney for good soon.

And I hope Faiz and Azalia are doing well in Malaysia. A few months left, and I'll be enjoying Malaysian food with you guys too =)

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Rule: Don't call others in the middle of the night, unless to convey bad news.

What do you do when some one old and close to you greets the call of death? When you know that they are no where to be seen and no where to be heard of, right from the moment death meets them, and what's left of them are just pictures, memories and leftovers of their stuff that they hold on to while living?

You started imagining what life would be without them from now on. You started to wonder, how does it feel to go to their house and not see them again, instead you only see other people that used to build their lives around the dead. You started remembering your last meal together with the person, trying to recall really hard how does his/her cooking taste, and what sort of thing you talked about with them. You started to remember your last conversation with them, and secretly hoping it was a conversation that pleases their ears. You wondered whether have you taken a photo of them, wanting to know that you have captured their look during their last few days in this world. You tried hard to recall the last time you shook his/her hand, and you lower your forehead, and kissed them on the hand. You began recalling the way they used to talk, and how seldom or often they laugh at your young jokes. You started to remember too, all their advices, and as other people of the Baby Boomers Generation, their advices were always short and transparent, but worth listening to. And of course, you just hope that they die in peace and with a light heart, knowing that they have lived their life they way they were supposed to, and more than anything else, you just want them to be mercifully blessed by Allah.

Losing someone you love is bad enough, but missing the small details and resemblance of their everyday lives makes you wonder whether have you been appreciative enough. I hope I had.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Study. That's all. It's not tough. You're not picking cottons. You're not picking up the trash. You're not washing windows. You sit dow. You read. You develop your brain.

I love Bill Cosby!

When people around me point out something unwelcoming, my first reaction would be to keep my guards down, and remind myself that every advices is worth 2 minutes to ponder on.

I just don't understand why I couldn't make the process mutual. As said, I either believe that I don't have the conscience to do so, or I tend to look at myself as someone bigger than that, and will prefer not to meddle in petty discussions. Please don't shoot me.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I touched down from Adelaide on Sunday May 18th, after spending the weekends there for Petronas SLDP Program, accompanied by drizzles and new friends and tonnes of sausages (orang UMNO kene belajar masak sausage from budak Pet Adelaide...serious!).

I had always looked at myself as a good speaker, but the moment I stood in front of the 20-something Petronas students in Adelaide as their facilitator, I could actually feel the wrecking nerves rampaging my whole body, and I know I didn't make any complete sense in that first leadership session. A good reminder from God, don't be too confident of yourself. But luckily I managed to keep myself together, and relate to all of them students, and actually remember their names!

I spent the first night wondering through Adeliade CBD alone, around 11pm, in search of a toothbrush, as I thought the hotel will provide me with one but they didn't. Obviously I can't use Ezidy's toothbrush, although I did taxed him really well on the hair creme, toothpaste and yeah, that's all (deodorant tak ok!). But to my dismay, all the convenience shops were closed (unlike hip and metro Sydney), and I went back to the hotel, wet and annoyed and shivvering and not equipped with any cheap toothbrush. Before getting to my room floor, I asked the receptionist about an extra toothbrush, and he gladly handed me one. Babi I should have asked him first before venturing through the 40-minutes rain filled outing!

On the second night, Ezidy and I walked through Adelaide CBD again, searching for any open late night coffee places, but macam biase, time kite paling nak lepak, time tu lah semua kedai kopi tutup. Then we thought of "visiting" Coles (what on earth were we thinking, I don't know), and even Coles pun tutup! I thought RIngo told me the Coles will be open till midnight, but why was it closed when it was only 1130pm? OH! Hari Ahad rupenye...Coles open midnight everyday, except Sunday, and dan-dan la the day we were out for Coles was a Sunday midnight. Another reminder from God.

We had a free day on our last day, as the SLDP thing only took my precious Saturday. The Adelaideans asked us on where to go, and selfishly, I recited the names of places that I haven't been to the last time I was here in 2006 hahaha. So we hit Rundle Mall, I taxed Ezidy again on the Azam's Nasi Lemak, Teh Tarik and Roti Canai (actually he offered, so rezeki jangan ditolak) and we spent the rest of the late noon at Glenelg, ending the Adelaide tour with a hot Starbucks one each.

All in all, I could have said this was the best trip I have had with someone much older than me, and Ezidy has definitely opened up my eyes to more specturms that I had never thought about before. I remembered clearly almost every conversations I had with him for both nights, and discovered that behind those blur face and his frameless spectacles, he is actually quite fun and inspiring to lepak with. For that, I thank you Mr Ezidy, and yes, I am studying harder now.

I don't wanna spend the enxt 7 years asking myself..."What in the names of Heavens was wrong with me in uni dulu?". How true is that.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I am very thankful to Allah, with all the blessings he has showered me upon. I know I whined and complained and bitched about hell a lot of things, but looking back again, I have 1001 reasons to actually be thankful about. And true, I am calmer now, I scrutinise less and I just don't allow my mind to venture to unnecessary parts. I just wonder, would you meddle with the safer option, or the easier option? (Just something random).

After the quiz tomorrow, I am pretty much done with 60% of this semester's workload. Just on-going thesis works, Energy assignment and to bury myself into deep concentration in reading the System textbook. I hate to say this, but the only possible way for me to get first class honours is through another 8 HDs this year. OMG, I am fainting now!

I will be in Adelaide from May 16th til May 18th for some Petronas leadership program. And AGM UMNO went reaaalllyyy well a few weeks ago. To me, this is an AGM to remember. And don't ask me why!

Times with friends has been fantabulous. I just wanna squeeze everything into my mind, and I want to remember all these fun moments, and I don't want to let it slip my mind. But then yeah, as I strongly believe in, memori hanyalah untuk dikenang, bukan untuk diingat-ingat.

In short, I am happy lately, and the only thing I can think to whine about is my body weight (which, by the way, is perfect....so I don't whine these days).

Song at the moment: Crazy by Aerosmith.

Don't you just love __________ (fill in the blank space).

Hint: If you write your crushes' names, 5 marks for you.If you write my name, 7.5 marks for you.If you write the name of my Summer Fling, 10 marks for you. Bravo!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

For the first time ever, I finally watched Cinderella Man by Russell Crowe from start til end. During his final match against Baer in pursuit of the world champion title, Rahman, Eiman, Roy, Yaya and myself were pratically shouting and chanting Braddock's name and cursed everytime Baer made a low blow. I felt as if I was in Madison Square myself. I could actually feel his heart, and how strong he stood as he fought not for just himself, but for his family and the whole lower class people of New Jersey. Never underestimate the strength of our hearts. It creates wonders.

My thesis advisor fell in love with my thesis second chapter. I kept a humble face as he was repeating how good my writing was, and he had a feeling my thesis will turn out good. I also kept a blurr and malu-malu bagai face. You should be there, I'm sure you'd have said "aawww...cute nye mamat...".

I'll be at Amanda's house in Petersham tomorrow for cleaning. I hate the dog in the kitchen who seems not to be able to shut the fucking up, and I hate how she thinks her house is very European and symbolizes the relentless spirit of the Renaissance. Looks more like a house full of handicapped lads and ladies who doesn't have any cleaning concept.

My favourite quote so far; Ugly people usually have ugly hearts. By Irwan Shazman. Perfect. And yes, I know I have a handsome heart, don't have to remind me. Stating the obvious is just not my way.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Today, I heard your voice again after almost one month. I'm just wondering why I'm not happy as I'm supposed too. Maybe you are just like the rest. Then again, I have no idea why I called you, probably I had a weak moment. Well, that or I just have an abundance of phone credit to spend on.

Things has been pretty fabulous lately, fabulous but tiring. I don't know why I said fabulous, but tiring is actually an understatement. Uni work, cleaning work and the mind-boggling thesis work. I have been writing a lot for my thesis and been writing too many essays, that I told myself I shouldn't be writing for another 7 years or so. And yet, here I am detoxing my inner chaos through words. I am so full of bullshit.

I may not run for UMNO NSW Presidency, as an subtle inner voice told me to just have one semester where I have no other responsibilities, and for once, be the audience. Or just let someone else do the mounting work and I can sit down and be a proper audience, for once. On top of that, I can spend my weekends wondering aimlessly to the most random places that I have never set foot on. And yes, no more meetings that lasted for hours and hours on my precious weekends.

Can't wait for my Adelaide trip with the Petronas Advisor, and can't wait to actually put the new pair of spectacles on my handsome face. Loving and hating my new hairdo at the moment. Oh well, I am just so full of bullshit.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I arrived safely from Hobart around 8.50 in the morning on Monday April 14th, feeling happy at the sight of familiar Sydney, but not able to believe that an important lecture was just 10 minutes away. So I dashed out, had a quick ciggarette break and rushed to the train, hoping to grab the next Airport Link departing for Central Sydney. I made it to SUV around 10 am, and entered the lecture hall an hour later, with apparent dark circles around my eyes, I was obviously sleep deprived.

Anyway, will get back to you about my Tasmania trip in the next entry, as I know including photos is a must, and I don't have the cables and all with me right now.

A 5-hours sleep amidst all the welcoming noise at Bligh Tower just now rejuvenated me more than anything else. I managed to sleep soundlessly, despite Rahman's relentless strumming on the guitar and Yaya's and Yani's moving around the house completing chores, or just enjoying the busy-ness of the metropolitan-liked of their apartment. Aideeni was around puffing, and don't get me started on Eiman's and Nana's laughs. Don't. But yeah, I felt better than I had for the past 30 hours or so, and the price I had to pay; nocturnal habit making a comeback.

I enjoyed uni more this year. I'm not exactly sure why, but I have a feeling it's going to be much better compared to last few years in terms of workloads, lectures, assignments and all. I know I shouldn't be saying this, as I don't know what awaits tomorrow, but I'm thankful to Allah because I'm actually coping up quite okay this year compared to the last 3. Probably easier subjects, or I have finally gotten the skills of time management this year, one that I should be acquiring way back in 2005?

And here is a tribute to the University of Sydney, I've been circulating my life around this uni for almost 4 years, but I've never taken the time to actually tell myself.."Wow, you're in USyd, make the best out of it damnit!".

To USyd, if you are a human being, I will be nice to you and kiss you all the time and thank you for just offering me a place. I am proud to be a USyd student, and all of you better damn know that I am as proud as I can possibly be at the thought of being an alumni of this stone-walled university. Only 45 000 people are in Usyd now, out of 6 000 000 000 world populations. Ain't I lucky?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I turned 22 recently. Alhamdulillah. Sometimes I can't believe that I have lived and walked on this earth for 22 years. I have my soul being embodied for 22 years. For 22 years I have spent my life doing things, and wanting something and sometimes not getting what I want. I can't believe that 22 years are actually a really long time, yet it seems so short. So brief.

I wanna say thank you to my friends for yet another surprise birthday bash in my room on midnight March 26th. I truly appreciate it, and don't worry so much about the highlights of the night; my study table broke due to excessive weight of oversized asses. Hahaha!

And also, for the romantic and candle-filled gathering you guys put up at Hyde Park, that was superb! And different! Different people feel loved at different times and through different ways, and I feel loved the most on March 26th. Every year.

As difficult and hard to believe as it may be, I am actually approaching the finale chapter of my UG life here in Sydney. That seems like a blessing in disguise, as lecture notes and bundles of assignments seem to not do justice to my already hectic life. But the truth, I'm dreading the day when I have to bid my final farewell to Sydney, and reluctantly folding all my memories here inside my mind.

I just know that I will spend some uneventful lunch hour in my working life soon, sitting alone and thinking about the Coles Supermarket in Broadway that I paid a visit to almost every week, my tutorials classrooms, the Chinatown, the Sydney buses where I had triumphed over and over again in getting concession tickets, the green sidewalks of King Street, Newtown as a whole (Newtown!), my former apartments and so on. It's liberating, to know that I have spent 4 fulfilling years, but in the same time, it's also a sad thought having to say goodbye to all of it.

From this day on, I will treasure every minutes that I have in Sydney, I will appreciate every small details that I encountered along the way and I will actually stop and press the pause button, and inhale the air gently, to actually FEEL what Sydney air is like (ok, that's BOLLOCKS). I will smile to everyone I know and I will try to indulge in meaningful conversations with them. I will plant all these elements of being a Sydneysider for 4 years in my body and soul, so that I don't have to go back to Malaysia thinking that I had forego any chance of just appreciating Sydney. I refuse to spend the next 9 months with any regrets, and I will capture this city as a whole so that at least I have a nice mental snapshot of it to be brought back home.

God, I thank you for every single blessing you have showered me with, and thank you for giving me the chance to live in this land of The Aborigines and The Torres Islanders for 4 years.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

You once told me that you have fallen into the deepest pit of hole, where you were drowned by the pitch of total darkness. But you survived. You rised from the ashes, how can I not adore you?

Have you ever fret or worry over something over and over again, that up to a point, you just turn dry and have no slightest energy to even dwell with it? When you just give up of trying to be positive, not that you do not want to. When you finally just thought that you are much better off not thinking about it?

As hard as this may seem, that is actually a form of weapon. A way of life that can serve as weapons, when you thought being left alone feeling helpless is the worst thing that could have happened to you. It's called time. It's our weapon.

Time heals what reasons can't. Just thought of giving you readers a gentle reminder.

But then again, don't fret over the small things in life. I don't exactly know why, but it obviously doesn't turn you into someone better. Oh, it's also annoying.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Have you ever known someone long enough, that both of you were pretty much 'there' during each other's growth, personal developments and achievements and also, each other's ups and downs that pendek kata, semua bende pasal orang tu la kite pernah nampak dan kita tahu perkembangan hidup dia, who they are close with, they preferences, their 'style' and all, just because you spent the past 17 years or so of your life around that particular friend?

It amazes me on how some people have known my paranoia of adult angst, and still put up with me, after so many years. To them, I say thank you.

Anyway, back to the point, it just worries me a lot that just because I happen to always be around in someone's life, because our paths of life happen to take the same crossroads, and just because we happen to see each other every weekend with other 'new' friends and so on, (notice how many 'just happen' I used?) that the developments of our lives has turned into a silent and unspoken rivalry that only us, and us knew of? What I meant was, it scares me to see that just because two people has had a loooong way together, that in the end it is only natural for them to analyse and scan both selves to know which one of them turned out better, given the fact that we had an almost 100% similar external affecting factors and surroundings?

Maybe you understand what I meant, and maybe you don't. It doesn't matter. The point is, why bother knowing another person for so long, when in the end you can't even be yourself in front of them, and you can't even share with them the joy of your life, afraid that it might be mistaken as a form of brag?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Some people obviously lie and create stories through their journeys of what I called 'life'. They scandalized themselves, they put up false impressions, they hid behind masked chronicles and they simply sent out the fake vibe whenever they could. Yes, I've met people like this before, but the more they lie, the more carried away they get by it. What, you think people won't be around you without those self-portrayed impersonation of God-knows-who, and do you seriously need to feel above average just to get attention? Or perhaps your life is just too boring for the naked truth?

Look up over the internet about the universe, or just read about the nebulae. This universe is just too huge, and I mean, they're astronomically huge, that sometimes immortalizing sadness is just not the way to go. Think of the vastness of the universe, on how there are as many planets in this whole universe as the strands of sands in this entire planet earth, and planet earth itself is only a representation of one sand. Take the higher road, think of the hugeness of the universe, and how annoyingly insignificant your daily problems are (water bills, mounting assignments, girls, nagging parents and some bastards urinating by the roadside). You only have one life, but if you lived it happily, one lifetime is enough.

I am grateful that we have plenty of second chances to make up for the lousy first. True, first impression counts, but most of the times, what you see is not necessarily what you get.

I am happy living in my new studio, and I enjoy the company of my neighbours. My own private place, and in this room, every corner represents a part of me. My old Dunblane House will always be something of great importance, but I think it's time for me to move on and embrace this new place. Memori hanyalah untuk dikenang, bukan untuk diingat-ingat.

I hope my resolutions are realized this year. Good luck for yours too, and I hope we all can help each other out!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Every now and then, when I browsed back through the many music playlists that ever existed in my iTunes, I somehow found myself being transported through time, back to the days when any particular songs were being highlighted in my life as the song.

Obviously, this is no surprise, as I tend to relate music with a lot of things in life, and a few selection of songs will be played over and over again from my laptop during that specific period. Everything will start to pop out instantaneously, the happy ones, the sad ones, the plain ones even, the times when I struggled with some things, the times when I thought that I was fulfilled and strong, the times when I thought that I was weak and pathetic. The songs made me recall some individuals that revolved around my life or had an astrologically enormous impact in my life within those period.

In short, I don't need a diary, or probably even this blog. I don't need someone to remind me of what had happened so far, and I don't even need to strain myself and struggle recalling the pasts. All I need is an accidental moment where the song just randomly being played in my playlist, and everything just formed itself into images and leftovers of what I had experienced, carefully unfolding events of the yesteryears that I had stored somewhere inside my mind, as vivid and as clear as they were. All I need is music.

And I'm sure in the coming 5 years, if I ever came accross Fall Out Boys' Thanks For The Memories and Jordan Sparks' Tattoo, summer break 2007 will come into mind, an old dandy film being played, like a silent movie.

And oh! Crispy Creme is now in Doha! This probably won't help the majority of the population here who already suffers berat badan berlebihan, and I'm sure now they will have other cumbersome issues to worry on. Example; cavity and tooth infection.

Friday, February 08, 2008

I don't like it, or should I say, I hate it when my family and friends form a wrong or biased impressions and perceptions on me. With exceptions to my current Sydney housemates and close Sydney friends, no one is actually around me most of the time, so my advice would be to stop being so prejudiced or extremely judgemental on me. I mean, it's okay to occasionally judge, and who doesn't, as long as you don't build a mental paradigm on me based on that. What you see is not necessarily what you get.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I would like to know that I am a positive person and how I screamed at the top of my living lungs on how the grass is often greener on my side. Hence, I have decided to mark in my head of yet another memorable and eventful summer break, although there is more to come.

Of course, my sincere apology to readers, for abandoning this blog, but there's not much that I can do, due to time constraint and the "couldn't-be-suckier" internet broadband over here. But to the good news of some friends (or perhaps to the dismay of some others), I am still well alive and kicking here in Seremban.

Hey friends,

So far my internship has been alright, although plain would be a better way of describing it. And since this blog holds nothing but the truth, well I have only been doing little work given to me by my supervvisor, Pak Ganis Supriadi, and spent much time and waste countless dollars on having coffee and unnecessary brunch or extended lunch over the many shops and cafes in Suria, although in theory I should be trying to fathom the many engineering ups and downs. But me being me, that's just plain unrealistic bullshit.

Sometimes, there was just nothing to do, and the managers in my floor expects us to find our own work and be more proactive, but that ain't happening. Haha. And I couldn't stand being in the office for even one more second, hence the countless journeys or slamming and sloping around Suria with amigos y amigas, and geez I love doing that, God knows why.

Yo peeps,

I am also happy as I managed to fill my life with more luxury, now that I no longer have only AUD384 to spend on. I pampered myself with a lot of indulgences, and lavished my closet with more new things to wear hehehehe. And that shall be be the highlight of my summer break hahahhaa! And don't call me a spoilt brat, as my Sydney friends would know how deprived I was back in Sydney in terms of almost everything. I won't call it a financial crisis anymore, I'll just call it another mandatory cycle that always occurs in my life there.

Furthermore, I get to meet more new people and catch up with a lot of old friends, even ones that I thought I would never see in 7 lifetimes. I had a really good thing going on with my fellow trainees, and I hang out more than ever now in Seremban, and I have discovered many new and interesting places here, and the great part is, it makes me feel more "homiey" here. Thank God for Seremban.

Hey there,

All in all, nothing of significance or that important happens, but the many small things that happens perfectly here makes my small life here perfect, and I'm sorry if that's a bit exxagerated. So if you thought of calling me, to ask me how wonderful my life currently is, and how I can turn your life into a more enviable one, give me acall at 019 277 4705. And don't worry, the consultation hours shall be free of charge!

And to everyone,

Thank you for making my 2007 great, if not happening and memorable. I certainly haven't placed it in a deserted corner of my mind, but the main thing is that it has helped me to sustain myself at where I am now, and I hope we don't have to say good bye to all the good things.

Here I Come!

A real human trapped in between conservative values and episodes of modern fiction. Motivated by the life statement that i believed in, but not so much of the future. A man that expresses way too much, only to discover later it is not necessarily for the good. Have my own way in being funny, but not so much of a laughing addict. Family and close friends shed the light of my comfort zone, and without them i can't function well. But appreciates those moments when i had to step in the courage zone too. A lot of things build me, a lot of things make me stronger. Other than that, everything's casual, nothing to shout about.