2/22/10

Like every good American, I am taking this week off like I did last week. Because it's the Olympics and I am an Olympic nut. Turns out staying up to 1 am every night makes it very difficult to write for the next day. But I will be back next week with many stories involving midgets and dwarfs.

2/15/10

This one is for me. I rarely write them, but this one is all for Hossman. Because today is my blogversary blog so I don't have to please anyone but myself. And I like pleasing myself. Today I'm going to write about writing and the blog. It shouldn't be funny so you might want to skip this one and head off to something a little more funny. I'm sure you can find a clip of an old man getting hit in the crotch or perhaps a kitty cat playing a paino. If not, head on over to Hulu and watch an old Simpsons episode, that's what I would do.

I started the blog 3 years ago on a whim. I sent off an email about a terriable day that I had at work. Yes, I actually had a job at one time. Turns out that that little email made the rounds and I got a lot of laughs. People seem to like it when I fuck up and bad things happen to me. I'm afriad what will happen if I have a heart attack while cheering at the Olympics. Anyway, Hossmom liked the little rant I sent out so much that she encouraged me to write a blog and here we are, 3 years later. The very first post on this blog by the way, is still the property of Hossmom. It marks one of the only handful of times that she has actually written on here. She doesn't even leave comments which I do find odd considering that she is very funny and a lot of the stories about her and her children.

The biggest question that I have gotten over the years is why do I write. Honeslty, I don't really know. I've asked myself numerous times what I expect from this blog, where is it going. I don't know, I have no clue. There are times where I wrote my little funny ha-ha's because I couldn't get the image out of my head. Other times I wrote because I knew Hossmom would have a boring day at work and this would cheer her up. Sometimes I thought that perhaps I could turn this into something else, perhaps a book or a TV Show (ha!). But I wasn't really all that passionate about it but I kept writing anyway, because that I liked to do. Which provides the answer, I write because I liked to.

I like looking back over the years and seeing where my family was at, what occured and how my children have got increasingly more destructive as time has gone on. Little Hoss is 4 now and Bubba Hoss is 2 and it's fun to see the growth of our family with them. I like reading about my massive parental fuck ups (margirita milk glass) and our victories (I can't think of any at the moment, how odd). I like seeing people in my life as charactures of themselves. From Uncle Bricksalesman (one of my all time favorites) to new additions like Papa Scrum (I think that name is funny as hell). So I guess I write because I like to.

Which does't mean I haven't considered killing the blog. Pulling an old yellar and taking it behind the shed to meet the internet God. When my son was born I took a several months off and lost almost all my followers. I didn't think I would start it back up. But one day a story popped in my head and it wouldn't leave until I wrote it down. Since then I think I have done some of my very best writing. It's fun to look back and see how the writing has improved, at least I think it has. My spelling still sucks despite promises from no less than 5 people to be my "editor" It's tough to keep up folks and they soon burn out.

I like looking back at some things that I have never published. Yup, they are out there. I have got pages and pages of stuff that never made it on here because I thought it sucked or Hossmom promised me certain favors if I never publish a blog. It appears that I can be bought. I do not like censorship and figure that this is my blog so I can write whatever I want. But even I think that sometimes I've gone to far. They are out there, perhaps I'll publish one this week.

I like the heros in the blog (me) and I like the antagonists just as much (sometimes Hossmom, sometimes her Mother). I like the complexity of some (Little Hoss, sometimes good, sometimes the devil.) I like the random and the abstract at other times (star trek blog, Dr. Suess ripoff), the blogs that truly make me laugh that have no point what so ever other than to make fun of myself.

And I like my cult members,the majority of people that I have never met and probably never will. I like reading thier blogs when I have time or when Bubba Hoss is not flinging a sippy cup right into Little Hoss's forehead. He really did that by the way. I think the days of my laid back dude are over.

Sometimes I think the stories are over, that I've got nothing left to say. But then I look at my family for 10 minutes and they just keep coming. It gets to the point that some stories will stay in my head for days and demand to be written. Other times they fade away. I find it odd that it all comes down to the mood I'm in. If I "feel it" then it turns out to be a great blog. If I don't, it turns out to be shit. That sounds so "artsy" I want puke but it's the truth. I can't write unless the story speaks to me and that sounds gay as hell. What you get when I force it is some horriable piece of trash.

Hossmom deserves most of the credit for this blog, she is the one that is always pushing me. She critiques each blog, tells me what she likes and what she doesn't. When I haven't written in a while she start seeing if something is wrong with me or encourage me to give it another try. She warns me not to lose my "edge" but not to go so far over that it turns out to be a crazy guy rant. She is the one that redisigned the blog as well and keeps encouraging me to take it to the next level, what ever that may be. So thank you Hossmom, you still rock after 15 years.

And thank you to everyone who keeps coming back to read this. Hossmom says that it's unusual that I have such a dedicated list of followers and I suppose it right. Maybe I would have given up if you havent' kept coming back. It's weird but when I don't write for a week (like last week) I start to feel guilty. Am I really going to leave you high and dry during the work week while you fill out your TPS reports? Don't you deserve a laugh? Last week I meant to leave the TV show stuff up for a while to give everyone a chance to read it but by Friday I was feeling pretty guilty about not adding anything new.

So I'll keep on writing as long as you keep reading. Some will be funny (my cat is evil) and some will still suck. I've got ideas in my head, some new and some old but they will all eventually make it on here. And hidden in my little posts will still be small little jokes that I think are funny but probably only me. And just for old time's sake, I don't think I will spell chekc this blog at all. Call me nostalgic. Happy Blogversary!

The Inner Hoss

Let me explain it this way: I have a college degree and had a job. I quit it on purpose to teach my three minions how to be minions. After 8 years the kids have only broken 1/2 of what we've seen but the other half is on the list.