Tuesday, September 30, 2008

things you can do BEFORE your home study

We are trying to do as much of the adoption on our own as we can. We aren't working with an agency (yet).

I've been trying to find a social worker who will do our home study. I guess they call it an "independent" adoption because we are doing it independently, but don't quote me on that.

We are trying to get a home study done, and I've been doing my home work. The highest quote so far is $3,150, the lowest quote so far is $1,300. Do your homework, I can't stress that enough. This includes two meetings with the social worker and one visit to your home.

Even though we haven't started a home study yet, there are some things we can do to prepare for it, like ordering birth and marriage certificates. You don't need to wait for someone to tell you to do it. Specifically you need "certified" copies, which are different from "informational" copies. And the procedure to order these certificates varies from state to state, county to county, country to country. Again, do your homework.

While you you are waiting for your certificates to arrive, I also suggest you do a credit check to be sure your credit is in order because at some point, someone will be looking into your credit history.

Be thinking about who you'd like to have write references for you. I've read different things on this, some want your references to have known you for only two years, others for five years or more, so I'd suggest playing it safe and thinking of those who've known you five years or more. Just make a list at this point.

Get your house in shape. I've read that we shouldn't worry, they aren't going to come in with white gloves, but they want to be sure there is a room for a child and that your home is safe.

I hope to add more tips to this posting as I learn more.

10.31.08 On your financial statement, you may be asked if you have life insurance and what are the face and cash values. This is something you can find out before you begin your home study.

history in a nutshell

We've been trying to start our family since 2000. We've tried naturally, with infertility drugs, both oral and injections (self-inflicted by Julie) and two IUIs. None successful. We've had three miscarriages, though all pregnancies happened naturally.

We thought our problem was getting pregnant, we didn't realize we'd also have a problem staying pregnant. It seems it's just not meant to be. We spent over eight years on the infertility road.

We have now taken a turn onto the road to domestic adoption. We hope there is a baby, child or children out there somewhere who is/are waiting for us and wants to be part of our family.

A new road opened for us in February 2010. We are now in the process of receiving embryos through a private donation. We look forward to FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in the coming months, and hope for a successful pregnancy!

Who knew the road to parenthood would such a long and crazy one for us?

from Labor of the Heart

Your child is waiting for you somewhere. Your job is to find the people who will help you find her or him.