This is good except for the fact that half of it didn't make sense. Who, exactly, is he supposed to be talking to? Other than that, it was good, though I'm not exactly sure it was in character. Still, it's better than a lot of other stuff I've seen out there about Snape, so good job on that. :)

I'm not quite sure it was poetry, either. Not everything overflowing with metaphors is poetry. :)