I'm having massive social anxiety about this reunion we're going to in Georgia this weekend. I had a handful of friends, hardly any of whom I've kept in contact with (except one girl, who I can't wait to see), and everyone else was just...there. I spent most of my high school years wrapped up in my boyfriend and thinking everyone else was stupid and I just wanted to go back to California and Catholic school or hurry up and grow up so I could get away from home. Now I'm a grown up and married to Mr. Popular from my graduating class (a totally non-douche bag kind of Mr. Popular) and I'm worried it's going to be awkward. He's so sweet and good to me and loves me and makes me feel wonderful, so I guess I'm more worried that my initial shyness will be a drag to him. He would never make me feel that way, but hopefully you know what I mean.

You guys know me and I can relate to all of you, but you may not know that I'm pretty reserved in social settings. I'm not the kind of girl to get crazy and dance and want to be the center of attention. I'm more the type who will open up once I've gotten to know people and feel more confident in myself. I can pull it off but inside I'm so terribly worried about what people think about me. I'm so ashamed that I'm like this...gah!

People who know me - especially my co-workers - find this hard to believe, but it's because I feel comfortable around them, like I can be myself and be accepted, so they don't see it. They all think I'm witty, smart and fun to be around but mostly I feel like maybe I'm just a good actress. That's not to say I'm not genuine...it's just..I don't know how to put it.

Meh...I get like this anytime there's a reason to be in a party type atmosphere. I'm sure if I were to speak to a doctor I'd be diagnosed with some social phobia junk or something, but I would never do that because I'd rather just suck it up when it comes to life and kick its ass. Anyway, I'm sure I'll loosen up and have a good time, but I'm going to be internally freaking out about it between now and then.

I get that way all the time. Sometimes i hated parties and i dreaded being at them. What i started to do was reframe the whole thing and think of shows like Louie or Peep Show where awkward stuff happens and there's nothing to do about it except laugh and shrug. Just think of it as a funny story you'll get to tell if anything really goes wrong. And i always found out that nothing really went wrong.

I'm having massive social anxiety about this reunion we're going to in Georgia this weekend. I had a handful of friends, hardly any of whom I've kept in contact with (except one girl, who I can't wait to see), and everyone else was just...there. I spent most of my high school years wrapped up in my boyfriend and thinking everyone else was stupid and I just wanted to go back to California and Catholic school or hurry up and grow up so I could get away from home. Now I'm a grown up and married to Mr. Popular from my graduating class (a totally non-douche bag kind of Mr. Popular) and I'm worried it's going to be awkward. He's so sweet and good to me and loves me and makes me feel wonderful, so I guess I'm more worried that my initial shyness will be a drag to him. He would never make me feel that way, but hopefully you know what I mean.

You guys know me and I can relate to all of you, but you may not know that I'm pretty reserved in social settings. I'm not the kind of girl to get crazy and dance and want to be the center of attention. I'm more the type who will open up once I've gotten to know people and feel more confident in myself. I can pull it off but inside I'm so terribly worried about what people think about me. I'm so ashamed that I'm like this...gah!

People who know me - especially my co-workers - find this hard to believe, but it's because I feel comfortable around them, like I can be myself and be accepted, so they don't see it. They all think I'm witty, smart and fun to be around but mostly I feel like maybe I'm just a good actress. That's not to say I'm not genuine...it's just..I don't know how to put it.

Meh...I get like this anytime there's a reason to be in a party type atmosphere. I'm sure if I were to speak to a doctor I'd be diagnosed with some social phobia junk or something, but I would never do that because I'd rather just suck it up when it comes to life and kick its ass. Anyway, I'm sure I'll loosen up and have a good time, but I'm going to be internally freaking out about it between now and then.

I totally get like that sometimes. I say sometimes I'm socially awkward, I think I get overwhelmed at a venue or situation, but then again other times I'm socially awesome and talk to people and become part of their group and have a great time. I'm not sure when which of each situation will happen, I do know there is some chemistry with just the right amount of whiskey though. Not too much and not too little.

When Tammy is not around I like to read Emma stories in different accents. Depending on the book I'll use either by best English or Irish Accent, sometimes I'll even read it as Christopher Walken. I'm not sure what Emma thinks. I think she just thinks its normal.

I'm having massive social anxiety about this reunion we're going to in Georgia this weekend. I had a handful of friends, hardly any of whom I've kept in contact with (except one girl, who I can't wait to see), and everyone else was just...there. I spent most of my high school years wrapped up in my boyfriend and thinking everyone else was stupid and I just wanted to go back to California and Catholic school or hurry up and grow up so I could get away from home. Now I'm a grown up and married to Mr. Popular from my graduating class (a totally non-douche bag kind of Mr. Popular) and I'm worried it's going to be awkward. He's so sweet and good to me and loves me and makes me feel wonderful, so I guess I'm more worried that my initial shyness will be a drag to him. He would never make me feel that way, but hopefully you know what I mean.

You guys know me and I can relate to all of you, but you may not know that I'm pretty reserved in social settings. I'm not the kind of girl to get crazy and dance and want to be the center of attention. I'm more the type who will open up once I've gotten to know people and feel more confident in myself. I can pull it off but inside I'm so terribly worried about what people think about me. I'm so ashamed that I'm like this...gah!

People who know me - especially my co-workers - find this hard to believe, but it's because I feel comfortable around them, like I can be myself and be accepted, so they don't see it. They all think I'm witty, smart and fun to be around but mostly I feel like maybe I'm just a good actress. That's not to say I'm not genuine...it's just..I don't know how to put it.

Meh...I get like this anytime there's a reason to be in a party type atmosphere. I'm sure if I were to speak to a doctor I'd be diagnosed with some social phobia junk or something, but I would never do that because I'd rather just suck it up when it comes to life and kick its ass. Anyway, I'm sure I'll loosen up and have a good time, but I'm going to be internally freaking out about it between now and then.

Yeah. I never know what to say anytime. Unless I've been drinking. People don't really notice me.

Or maybe they do. I don't know.

I told some people about an actual show that my improv class is putting on. Even with all the supportive comments I've been getting, nothing seems to be able to overshadow the self doubt.

Alecia, I like Zack's idea best. But all great ideas from everyone.
My reunion was just to see my old best friend. She is/was dating some super famous rap star's body guard. She was everything I remembered, warm sweet and completely in control of the entire celebration (ex-head cheerleader turned professional party planner). It was truly surreal. I think only 3 people remembered me. EVERYONE had gained weight. Had nothing in common with anyone, but I liked them all. And everyone was nice. Everyone was down to earth and up front.
There were such a great variety of drinks and cupcakes, that made it fun. And the DJ was awesome.
I went to the black high school reunion, because they didn't invite the black folks to the other reunion at my senior high school (even though people had never moved, so they weren't hard to find). So f that. I went to the reunion of my 10th/11th grade class.

When you're from where I am, a segregated prom doesn't sound half bad, as long as it is up to the students on both sides to do it. I mean, it isn't like they aouldnt let people of one color into the other if that is the one they wanted to go to. But the schools here remain pretty self segregated on the inside.

We were watching TMZ and they were talking to that one basketball player guy who's in a funny commercial (i forget which one, Old Spice maybe?) and he's light skinned but he looks black and the TMZ camera guy made some comment like "But he's not black" and then the entourage were all like "Yes he is" and there was this debate about whether he was black or not and my initial response was "why would he want to be black" but i didn't mean it that way, i meant that it's not a big deal if he's not black so why make such a big point of "yes-he-issing" it that he's black, you know? It's okay to be white sometimes. Anyway, it turns out he's half black and half white so we're all wrong.

Ahaha, oh geez. I'm speaking a lot of English at work now, since there are a lot of Norwegian course applicants dropping by. I wanted to say "you're welcome" and "no problem" at the same time to one of them and I said "you're a problem". Woopsie!

Why do you say you only have one friend? I mean, do you just work then go home and do nothing on the weekends? Are all of your incoming calls from family and this one person? Do you just dislike human beings? Why?

My grandma has a 3 inch long white hair growing from her chin and I'm too scared to tell her and too afraid not to.

When you are your grandma's age, do you think you'll give a fuck about stray hairs?

Skydoll wrote:

I'm afraid to go to sleep because I'm worried I'm going to miss the moment something good finally happens.

I'm not sure what this means. What do you mean by good? Good inside you? Good for society? Do you have to see it happen?

You sound kind of depressed. If you have no one to talk to about your anxieties, then I suggest a professional counselor. If you tried it once but didn't like it, it may be just that specific person you didn't feel heard by.

I'm afraid to go to sleep because I'm worried I'm going to miss the moment something good finally happens.

I'm not sure what this means. What do you mean by good? Good inside you? Good for society? Do you have to see it happen?

I'm not her but what she said doesn't sound weird to me. Haven't you ever gotten the random anxieties? Usually it's the bad anxieties. They're like... "I have to get up early tomorrow for the first day of ______ and I think I'll just alternate between twitching and pacing while I worry about it."

But I have gotten the good or maybe just neutral anxieties. They're more like... "I did everything right and I think I'll just alternate between twitching and pacing while I worry about it."

Sometimes you just need to worry. I bet there's an old Greek myth somewhere, lost to the ages that explains why. Like the god Zeus thought those jeans looked really good on you so he transformed himself into a macaw and forced himself upon you and then put some sort of memory wiping spell on you and your stress is just your confused brain trying to figure out how come it can't remember if you did laundry or anything else the day before and why that pretty rainforest themed National Geographic cover is making you want to cry.

I never ever really had mood swings. I kind of thought PMS was just a made up thing that some women liked to pretend existed. But last week my boyfriend was talking about Mila Kunis in a somewhat admiring tone... he said something like... I like her movies... and She's kind of pretty... and... it honestly hurt my feelings really bad. Like... I felt... as if I caught him with his penis inside of my best friends. And then I was a bitch to him for a few days to get back at him for it.

I also chose to read a lot of articles about old police dogs that were put down and cried for hours.

I hope it was just a case of food poisoning or the kind of temporary insanity that people avoid murder convictions with.

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