So, husband had to go out of town for 2 weeks for work. Which of course means I need to arrange babysitting for myself since I can’t stay home alone like that. So I spent spent a couple days with the nieces (yay), then caught a ride to my parents house for the next couple of weeks. In just the last couple days I have seen family and friends and have actually had a number of good experiences.

I’ve had a lot of things I’ve wanted to say. As I’ve said before, I survive by trying to go unnoticed. But I’ve been opening my mouth a lot the last couple of days, including a very loud conversation with my parents, grandparents and aunt about gay rights today. I was pretty much on my own side, which I expected. I did not expect any minds to change and no one was angry, but it felt so great to speak my mind so unexpectedly and to just feel honestly me! I don’t know how anyone else felt about it later, and it kinda doesn’t matter? Mostly, I’m just so high on being me for once.

Also, my aunt thinks I’m whimsical. She meant it as an absolute compliment and I absolutely took it as one. Really, one of the nicest things I’ve heard about myself in a long long time.

I hold an ancient artifact, newly discovered. Encased in years of doubt, anger, shame, fear. I chip away at the hardened areas, every revelation a new reason to celebrate. I brush away at the muddied, finer areas, frustrated in the tediousness, but letting the tears allow the goddess to glisten and glow. For years she has been hidden away waiting to be found, and she is ready. Ready to show her beauty and art and soul to the world around her. Ready to celebrate.

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I usually take a bath before bed because it helps me relax and hopefully sleep better. Plus I’m just not much of a morning person. But this quiet morning I felt the urge to take a bath. Baths are kind of a ritual for me. I have the bath salts, essential oils, soaps, a soft sponge, whatever will turn it into the best experience. Today I felt drawn to my Green Valley Spa Fairy Dust salts, “Celebrate” (orange) in particular. And as the water ran in and I began to relax, the above thoughts came to me. The words were much better then, but the image the same. I have a difficult time meditating usually, but this was so clear to me, I was deeply touched and wanted to share. Sometimes I love the silence of the morning, so rather than include a song or video, I’m just going to leave this post in stillness. Thanks for reading.

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, 'God is crying', and if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, 'Probably because of something you did'." ~ Jack Handey