Britney Spears Was Left Unsupervised

Not unlike that time my mom “accidentally” left me at a Jamesway from 1988 to 1992, Britney Spears was allowed to wander the Westfield Mall in Los Angeles without supervision yesterday. Granted, a bodyguard could be off-camera holding a trash bag full of Auntie Anne pretzels to lure her back to the car, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable that innocent bystanders might’ve been sexually harassed for an Orange Julius. Look, I don’t know want to get into class warfare here, but why put people at risk just to let a wealthy pop singer feel like she’s not a mentally handicapped ATM? There could’ve been children at that mall. Children who don’t need to know what a “bergina” is until their parents feel it’s time to teach them it’s a special crawl space for daddies, not a soda machine.