Glory holes – unlocking the mystery

After thirty-five minutes of rigorous testing, Chinese scientists working undercover for The Elf Wax Times have concluded that a glory hole works in both directions.

“This law is the same for all glory holes, regardless of which direction they are drilled from, and regardless of the thickness of the barrier wall,” concluded lead scientists Harry Johnson, drawing from earlier research conducted by Donna Short and Stacey Stuck.

Lead Elf Wax particle-physicist Charles A. Hungwell is the director of the Universal Study of Glory Hole Biotics (GHB) and administrator of many orgies, including the great Stonewall Inn Orgy of June 28, 1969. He said, “Regardless of where you are in space or time, and regardless of your position relative to the glory hole, the laws of physics are really quite consistent.”

As well, he said, unlike with a black hole, what goes in the glory hole “does come out, nine times out of ten.”

When questioned about the tenth percentile in which “nothing comes out,” Mr. Hungwell blushed only to proudly announce his sex change, and that, almost as if by miracle, “no operation” would be necessary.