Russian women, July 2013 trip to meet Russian women, part IV

Russian women, July 2013 trip to meet Russian women, part IV

Russian women dating, date 2 with Antonina in Moscow

Next morning Antonina had a doctor’s appointment in the morning so we met up with her in the early afternoon. Something was different about her though. She was a bit withdrawn and I could tell she was thinking about something. We visited Tretyakov Art Gallery which is always a wonderful experience.

Tretyakov Art Gallery

Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow

Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow

Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow

Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow

Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow

Tretyakov Art Gallery, Moscow

Then walked around Moscow until we decided to stop to get something to eat. When I am on a date with my client and his lady, I always pay close attentiion and try to figure out what’s going on in her head. I don’t just listen to the words out of her mouth but try to pay attention to suttle clues and “read between the lines” so to speak. I noticed that Antonina became withdrawn and was thinking about something. When “D” went to the rest room I asked her what was she thinking about, if there was anything wrong? As a normal woman she first said that she wasn’t thinking about anything and that everything was just fine. But after talking with her for a couple of minutes I got her to open up and share her thoughts with me (I do have a gift to get women to trust me and to open up to me). She shared with me that she felt under a lot of pressure because “D” probably expected her to make up her mind about him and she felt that she just couldn’t do it in such a short time. I tried to put her at ease by telling her that “D” wasn’t expecting anything from her that she didn’t need to worry about making up her mind quickly and that there was absolutely no pressure on her . All “D” wanted to do was to spend some more time with her to get to know her better and to see if there would be chemistry between them. Then the conversation moved toward her first marriage. She told me how her husband was an executive at one of Russia’s biggest corporations making quater of a million a year (dollars that is), and how he got killed… It appeared that she was really in love with him and that she wasn’t completely over that situation although it’s been a few years since he died. After talking a bit more she really opened up and shared some info about her passed few relationships that were one sided and somewhat dysfunctional.

The more we talked the more I was starting to feel like “D” really should see the other girl because Antonina expressed to me that it would take her a long time to really understand how she feels about a man and that at this point she really didn’t know if she felt any connection and chemistry with “D” or not even though she liked him. In my experience chemistry is either there or not from the get go, and her undecisiveness was a clue that she was approaching this whole thing rationally instead of just going with her feelings. In fact I believe that the stress from the pressure she was feeling was actually her subconscious mind telling her “I’m not really into him, he is not for me” while her conscious, rational mind was telling her: “He would make a good husband and father, I should try to make this work”. This internal conflict usually manifests itself in all the signs I was observing, and in my opinion rather than trying to pursue her we needed to give her some space and see the last Russian girl that we had lined up while still leaving the door open to see Antonina if the other girl and “D” didn’t click.

When she went to the bathroom I explained to “D” everything that went on and what I found out from her. He was upset because he really liked this girl a lot and started falling for her. But we discussed which plan of action would make the most sense and he decided that we should definitely see the other girl.

Antonina said that she had relatives coming to Moscow that night and she had to spend time with them that night as well as part of the next day. So I suggested that we part company and call it a night (it was still early, around 6 PM Moscow time). Also we decided that since she would be busy with relatives most of the next day we should probably take a day off and call each other the following (Sunday) morning and decide what we were going to do.

So now I had a much fuller picture of who Antonina was. Interesting how you can only start getting to the bottom of things when you are spending time with a person face to face. Rarely you would get a woman to open up and tell you this kind of stuff on line or on the phone before meeting in real life. Needless to say that if you don’t speak fluent Russian you wouldn’t even get any of this at all.

So we said our good byes to Antonina and since it was still early Saturday evening we were going to call “A” and try to arrange a date with her for tonight. We decided to go home, get a little rest and “D” really needed to regroup since he was becoming infatuated with Antonina and it was a bit hard to deal with and meet the other girl on the same night. But our time was limited and he decided not to waste a night and to call “A” for a date.

I forgot to mention that when we made the first call to each girl “D” got on the phone first. I taught him to say a few phrases in Russian because I felt it would be good if they heard him first before he put me on the phone. So he said: “Hi “A”, this is “D”, I am in Moscow!” Then when she started saying something back to him in Russian he just handed me the phone and I continued the conversation in Russian. The girls already knew me as his friend who was helping with translation so there was no surprise there. I immediately cracked a couple of jokes in Russian to make them smile and put them at ease and we proceeded to make a date. So we did it exactly the same way with “A” and as usual it worked like a charm.

“A” didn’t expect to hear from “D” until the next day but was really happy and excited that he was in Moscow a day early. We set a date to meet in a couple of hours.

Eduard, you have a talent for narrative. I’m enjoying this story and looking forward to new installments in D’s search for love in Russia. I’ve been in his shoes before and know that it’s not always easy.

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I just returned home to Toronto from a 3 week trip to Kiev with Eduard. Before I started working with him he told me: “give me about 4 months and you will have a wonderful woman in your life. Ed was right!