"While pleasuring oneself can release your insides from a taunt unrelenting prison and rock your senses with immeasurable pleasure it cannot compare to a lover holding on to you or looking into their eyes as you both ride the wave of a powerful climax."

Being in a sexual dry spell creates the need for self pleasuring. When I say need this word may not accurately depict or describe the compulsion for self pleasure.

In comparison to many my toy drawer is not extensive but merely respectable, so I was discussing with a friend about adding to it. They stated I was going to become "ruined" for any man. Meaning that I would become so use to my toys it would make it impossible for a man to make me cum.

Now I do not believe this to be true, however I listen to the arguments and then the challenge was issued! Could I go two weeks without self pleasure. No toys, no hands and no sex?

Like any addict I stated firmly, "I can quit any time I want to, but I don't want to." I mean why would anyone want to? The feeling of euphoria as the liquid heat seeps from your core out towards your limbs. The tension held in your thighs, that deep breath you were holding finally expels. AH I am turning myself on just typing this.

I am at week one and I have to admit I want to cave. I am unsure what the point it? What will I gain from abstaining? How will they know if I cheat? I plan to be honest and if I cave I will fess up but there were no sanctions issued should I fail to follow through on the bet.

Had it been more fun, made into a game, made into a real challenge with consequences then maybe I could see the value in the bet. Will the orgasm be more intense if I go two weeks with out self pleasure?

Talking frankly about sex with men and woman has always been easy for me. I have learned that for some women they can orgasm easily, while others are like a tea kettle: they need to be all warmed up before they can "whistle."

We are all built so different and what pleases one woman may not please the next. A recent experience made me realize perhaps I should address how to get a woman all warmed up so she can whistle!

Making a woman cum is not an unattainable task, so get out some paper and a pen so you can take notes.

1) Relax her. It is hard for women to orgasm if they are stressed. Give her a quick back massage. Rub her shoulders, upper back and neck to melt away the tension.

2) Prolong foreplay. By kissing, caressing and touching her LONGER, you will build the sexual tension and increase the blood flow to all the right places. Slow, soft and sensual will help you win the race. You are the tortoise in this story not the hare.

3) Start slow and build up the pace. Do NOT enter your partner and start thrusting at a fast pace too quickly. Take note of her reactions to your thrusting techniques. Try various depths and angles gauging her responses.

4) Show her you want to pleasure her, this gives you a chance to find out how you can improve her sexual experience. Listen to her moans and try and get a feel for her arousal levels.

5) Don't just focus on just intercourse, try and stimulate her clitoris at the same time. The majority of women do not orgasm solely through penetrative vaginal sex. In fact the majority of women climax through clitoral stimulation.

6) Oral sex is one of the best ways for a woman to reach orgasm. Not all women like oral sex or are comfortable having oral sex preformed when they are in a new relationship.

7) Find and stimulate the G spot. The G-spot is located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the topside. If you insert your fingers (two is good) and curl them up so your hand makes a type of 'cup' shape you can find the 'G' spot. Use a 'come hither' type of hand movement. IE When you call someone with your hand you you pull your fingers towards you, release and then repeat several times.

These are just a few tips on how to start pleasing her. She has to do her part and be comfortable enough in her own skin to help guide you to her pleasure zones. If you don't show your desire to pleasure her, you'll never be able to pleasure her to the highest degree.

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Copyright 2008, Calliope Jones All rights reserved. No part of this blog, book, poetry, or musings may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means; electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other wise, without written permission from the author, under the pen name of Calliope Jones.