Investigators with Microsoft Global Security have investigated the reported sighting of a great white shark in the fountain of Studios West. An inspection of the area did not provide any evidence that a shark had been there, such as shattered wooden boats, gnawed limbs or menacing double bass notes, but we are taking this report seriously nevertheless.

Microsoft Security will conduct frequent patrols of all fountains, and will work with the State Department of Fish & Wildlife and other experts to assess the situation and provide further updates if appropriate. In the meantime, please avoid chumming the fountains. Receptionists in all Microsoft facilities will be distributing shark repellant on request.

If you see anything suspicious, please contact the Global Security Operations Center (GSOC) at 425-XXX-YYYY.