Utilising some of the
Metaphor's state-of-the-art functions, I quickly pass a slow-moving Simile, cutting it up like a wire through cheese, then find myself -for a few seconds only- neck and neck with a Cliché which had
– against all the odds – been last year's winner. Then I pull ahead.

Powering around the
circuit, I ease up a gear, then grip the Metaphor's wheel. In front of me is a clanking, clunking Alliteration, which I roar past in no time at all. A brand-new Agon puts up a show of resistance
for a few seconds, and then it's gone - a quickly receding dot in my mirror.

Surging forward, I swerve
the Metaphor around an irrelevant Aside, tear past the flashily painted bodywork of a Synecdoche, and then race forward, suddenly aware that I am accidentally scraping the side of a Symbolic,
before passing and overtaking it. Further acceleration takes me past an old, sepia-tinted Analepsis and a futuristic-looking Prolepsis.

In front of me, a Metonymy
spins and skids off the track, its wheels on fire.

The finish line is now
visible in the distance.

I zoom past the four
remaining competitors who are still ahead of me - a Mimesis which is – rather cheekily – the same colour and shape as my Metaphor; a roaring, belching, rattling Onomatopoeia; an overly-ornate
Hyperbole; and an Anaphora Anaphora, which is attempting to make another comeback this year – and which, if I hadn't moved forward quite so quickly, might have succeeded.

Then I'm across the finish
line, first again.

An Epigone – which I
almost always have on my tail – comes in second.

An Antonomasia finishes
third.

Standing up in the
Metaphor, I grab the champagne bottle from the marshal and do a victory lap, shaking the bottle and spraying the crowd with carbonated alcohol.

Later, I go up to collect
my trophy. As I make my way to the podium, I salute my supporters and sign a few autographs.

I am looking forward to
the next event.

*

Glossary

Metaphor: figure of speech & writing in which one thing, idea or action is
referred to by a word or expression denoting another thing, idea or action.

Narrative Drive: The momentum of reading a set of fictional events, determined by
narrative pace, sentence structure, subject matter, etc.

Simile: An explicit comparison between different things, ideas or actions, often
using the word 'like' or 'as'.

Cliché: A hackneyed phrase or opinion.

Alliteration: Repetition of the same sounds - usually initial consonants of
words.

Agon: A contest, debate or dispute between two characters.

Aside: A remark made by a dramatic character to the audience. Not heard by other
characters.

Synecdoche: Figure of speech & writing which refers to something indirectly
by naming a constituent part of it.

Symbolic: A word or phrase referring to a concrete object or event - usually an
evocative image.

Analepsis: A form of anachrony, better known as flashback or
retrospection.

Prolepsis: (Greek) Anticipation. Also known as
flash-forward.

Metonymy: figure of speech & writing that replaces the name of one thing with
the name of something closely associated with it.

Mimesis: (Greek) Imitation. A central term in aesthetic & literary theory
since Aristotle.

Onomatopoeia: Use of words that imitate the sounds they refer
to.

Hyperbole: Exaggeration for the sake of emphasis.

Anaphora: Rhetorical device of repetition.

Epigone: An inferior or derivative follower of someone more
distinguished.

Antonomasia: A figure of speech & writing which replaces a proper name with
an epithet or an indirect description.