She Needs A Break

3- Make a no-contact rule. For a break to be successful, it has to be a proper break. It will be hard, but if you want her to come back, she needs to go cold turkey. She’s not going to miss you, if you’re calling to say “I love you” every five minutes.

4- Talk to her best friend. She can probably provide you with insight into what’s really going on.

What do you do during the break?

Don’t camp outside her house in your car using high-powered binoculars to spy on her or trail her every move. Let her have the space she wants. Being clingy is not cool.

Don’t invent excuses to phone her. You might have found her favorite sweater in the back of your car or want to remind her that it’s your mother’s birthday next week. Be assured if she wants to talk to you, she will call.

Reflect on your behavior and ways you could improve your relationship.

Even if your girlfriend has given you the thumbs up to see other people, don’t sleep with anyone else until you are sure the relationship is over.

Don’t spend the days moping around. Use this time wisely. It’s an ideal opportunity to catch up with friends you’ve neglected while you’ve been too busy being one half of a loved-up couple.

Take up a new sport, learn a new skill, take time out to find out what makes you happy and whether you’re in this relationship because you truly love your girlfriend or you’ve stayed simply out of habit or because you’re scared of being alone.

Where to from here?

Once the agreed trial separation period is up, it’s make-or-break time. If you’ve decided to carry on from where you’ve left off — congratulations, but remember to continue making time for yourself. Just because you’re part of a partnership, it doesn’t mean you have to lose your identity or live in each other’s pockets. Also, make a pact to work through any problems rather than take a break. If this is the person you’ll marry and have kids with, you need to know your partner is not going to run every time there’s trouble on the horizon.

putting on the brakes

Not every story ends with “they lived happily ever after.” If the ultimate decision is to go your separate ways, try to leave with your dignity intact and refer to our article on post-breakup maintenance to help get you through the ordeal.