'The Simpsons' Had A Message for Fans Last Night

After the show’s 500th episode last night, the staff of “The Simpsons” shared this message with viewers. It’s a fairly reasonable request, I guess. We could all use a little perspective sometimes, and taking a step back to evaluate things before firing off an angry missive is usually a smart course of action. That said, “outside” includes things like bears, sharks, tsunamis, tornadoes, icky creepy-crawlies, celebutantes loaded with party drugs careening down crowded sidewalks in military-issue sport utility vehicles, malaria, and pollen. Also, this could be a trap. I go outside to smell the roses and what not, and next thing I know I’m stuffed inside a burlap sack and being transported to some sort of sex dungeon run by Matt Groening and the bigwigs at FOX. It’s too dangerous if you ask me. Besides, Beverly Hills Cop is on Comedy Central right now. I’ll stay right here, thank you very much.