Friday, August 31, 2012

It takes a certain amount of effort to keep an 88-year-old woman and a 18-year-old cat happy.
CatSure? Check. Gin? Check. Dry vermouth? Check. Efferdent? Check. Only one pet store chain carries the cat milk. The local supermarket does not carry my mother's brand of gin. Rite Aid does--but my mom does not like the brand of vermouth they have on their shelves. The Efferdent tablets, I'm happy to say, can be found at both the supermarket and the drug store.

My fancy high tech house is another high maintenance entity (first world problems, I know.) How did we get from buying a TV and bringing it home and plugging it in to a full-scale intervention by the Geek Squad? I have so many wires and cords coming out of my living room wall that it seems like I should be able to communicate with NASA. As a sufferer of anxiety, I don't really enjoy surround sound. It creeps me out, hearing those noises behind me. But today, thinking that enhanced sound might help my mom enjoy TV, and make me more popular with certain people I love during basketball season, I went to Best Buy and bought a receiver that will allow me to stream music and movies from my iPad as well as watch TV and DVDs. It took me a month to work up to this task. I took pictures of all the various connectors and cords. I took pictures of my TV and my VCR and then loaded them onto my iPad and took it to the store with me. That was an ice-breaker. It took about two hours with the very chatty clerk to pick out a receiver, and schedule a consultation with the Geeks. Mind you, the actual install will require a second visit. I will also be able to wirelessly communicate with the receiver with my iPad. I may never get up off the couch. The booze and the special cat milk will have to be delivered to my door.

I also bought a one-button remote that will turn on the TV, the cable box, the receiver, and select either surround sound or simply stereo based on the program being watched all with just the touch of a single button--so my mom can watch the morning news and the Ellen Degeneres show if I am out searching for her favorite brand of Vermouth--which she can't remember the name of although it comes in a green bottle--but not the brand in the green bottle that I bought today. If I can press that damn button and automatically feed the cat and uncork a bottle of Cabernet, life will be beyond perfect.