Your image is holding you back You all have to excuse me. I had to handle some business but I’m back!
I would like to talk about my community and our image! Now, we all know that we are unfairly portrayed on TV. According to marketers, we appeal to almost every negative connotation out there. We are some chicken...

“A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE”
Now, I’m not one to give anyone advice when it comes to grammar. You will notice, in this blog and other previous entries that I struggle with my grammar and punctuation just as much as the next. The one thing that really “grinds my gears” is improper grammar and punctuation on purpose! I can’t stand to see...

Giving Credit where Credit is due!
I figured since its Black History Month (February), I would highlight someone that has done some great things for Black Entertainment. In this case, it is not so great, but this person’s efforts will not go unnoticed. He hasn’t done anything “ground breaking” and his contributions that I will highlight will...

“Good Move, Mello!”
Ok, so we all know about Karrine Steffans (Super Head) and her book that made the New York Times Best Sellers list. We also know that many mistresses/sideline girlfriends are coming from everywhere and putting their business “out in the street.” It is the new gig for H*’s. Sleep with a celebrity and make some...

You all have to excuse me. I had to handle some business but I’m back!

I would like to talk about my community and our image! Now, we all know that we are unfairly portrayed on TV. According to marketers, we appeal to almost every negative connotation out there. We are some chicken eating, narcissistic, immature, uneducated and stereotypical people. Now we all know that’s not the case for MOST blacks but that is all “others” want to focus on.

The roles we play in movies have gotten better but they have not strayed far from the past. You are still more likely to see some stereotypical characters in movies like “Madea’s big happy family” (or whatever the title is) as opposed to a movie about a challenging romance or a successful businessperson competing in the modern day world (just an example; there are movies out there but not enough to be note worthy).

So, the question is where do we stand? I mean, do these stereotypes have some validity? The answer is YES! I hate to say it but we are just like every other race of people. There are many, many BLACK PEOPLE and even more N*GGAS. The same is true about WHITE PEOPLE and REDNECKS or the SPANISH POPULATION and their stereotypical counterparts. Yes, every race has its dirty laundry. It’s just that black people tend to leave their sheets hanging out to dry long enough for our neighbors to notice and make judgment. The slogan “keep home, at home and out of the streets” (meaning, do not put your business in the streets) is long gone. How do I know this? I’ve caught a couple episodes of Maury and witnessed many “court shows” on daytime TV, as I lay in bed sick. It’s all disheartening.

It doesn’t help that statistics are involved too. Most of our counterparts are struggling financially but still find ways to flaunt jewelry and name brand clothes and accessories. There are more “how to get a man and keep one” books then there are romance novels. Unrealistic standards have played a major part in the HIGH divorce rates (should have made sure they were ready instead of the “might as well” mentality). In addition, the murder rate in predominately-black cities and states is alarmingly high. So yes, we have many issues that are not race-specific. Yes, other races of people have these same problems. The only difference is we all have that “rapper” mentality. You know deep down inside, nothing about you is “gangster” and you are far from a “bitch”. Nevertheless, for some reason, you set up your lifestyle and the atmosphere around you to look that way. It is all a front, but you don’t know any better. Why? Because TV and societies expectations have added that pressure. It is stupid but it’s true. If you are a black man, you are expected to act out violently or give the notion that you are tough, whenever presented with an altercation. The same goes for females. Therefore, we brag on how tough we are, when all along you know you don’t really want those problems. You know you don’t want to go to jail and you don’t want to deal with the consequences of your actions but you feel compelled to let everyone know “you aint no punk”…. Moreover, it has gone too far, to the point that black men don’t know what a man is. You have teenagers and other black men dressing like thugs because they think that is what makes them look tough. As if being tough had anything to do with manhood. You have young women dressing like Nicki Minaj and Trina (provocative) because they think that’s what makes them look sexy… Priorities anyone????

Our image needs a MAKEOVER. I think, instead of bringing back the fade and skinny jeans; we need to focus on the old school, “what would Jesus do” slogans. Pull our pants up and get on our “Barak Obama,” instead of worrying about swag! Our mentality is not where it needs to be. Whatever happened to, “treat people the way you want to be treated?” You don’t like to be nice? Think about it!

I know that this post repeats many of the topics I’ve talked about in the past but, that’s ok. Same theme, new tone!… The next post will be fresh and totally new!

Now, I’m not one to give anyone advice when it comes to grammar. You will notice, in this blog and other previous entries that I struggle with my grammar and punctuation just as much as the next. The one thing that really “grinds my gears” is improper grammar and punctuation on purpose! I can’t stand to see people “act” dumb and ignorant on purpose.

I noticed it in high school. Everyone was doing it, even the smart kids. For some reason, it has been a trend in the black community to duplicate ignorance. The smart people are not “in.” Unfortunately, a trend that has proven to be hazardous, as predominately black schools across America have an overwhelming number of students performing extremely low on standardized test. You can blame the teachers; you can blame the parents and the environment all you want. In the end, it comes down to the student. The student has to be the one to take their education seriously. Even if it meant that, you couldn’t blend in with the “in” crowd. While they cut school and practiced truant behavior, you actually had to stay and learn.

Aside from that I see another problem. “We” have been practicing ignorance so long that it’s a force of habit. To the point, that most predominately black establishments lack professionalism. The employees and managers have a hard time separating “street” behavior from “work” behavior. You would think that “work hard” and “play hard” wouldn’t be so easily confused. That when it came to handling business solutions in a work environment, some of our people would get the hint that this isn’t time to play. You have work to do and no one said this would be easy, *shrugs shoulders*. Moving right along…

I personally believe that it starts at home. Treat yourself like a child; tell yourself what you need to do to get yourself together. Success comes with practice. If you want to learn how to hold a business meeting and be able to convert over into a professional dialog and sound accordingly; then you must do this in repetition. I have come to the realization that the words I use when I’m texting and emailing have somehow switched over into my everyday language. Now, I am not saying that I am at work talking to my supervisor like “yea, what up”, “oh ight”… “nah, you good”… but I have started using the vernacular so much that it slips out from time to time. I know, terrible!

Now, it is ok to talk amongst your friends in this manner. It is a problem when your “street talk” spills over into your professional vernacular. After your adolescent stage is over, the thug look and all the mannerisms that come with it, just look like what it is… a loser who doesn’t know how to communicate to different people in different environments. So many of “us” confuse “work talk” or proper language with having to do with race. To sound professional has nothing to do with “talking white” or “acting white”… That’s actually disrespectful to your own people. That is saying; in order to sound intelligent, you must speak like a white man. It has nothing to do with that but everything to do with survival. You are not changing the way you talk to kiss anyone’s a**, just simply separating who you are outside of the work place from who you are when you walk through that door. The last thing you want your supervisor to think is you are that “cool dude from around the way.” Try that and see how far you’ll make it up that corporate ladder.

Oh yea, Blacks can make money behind a desk too. Music and sports isn’t the only means that will help you get to “balling” status. Wise up! Grow Up! Black Men need to Stand up!!!!!!!!!!

I figured since its Black History Month (February), I would highlight someone that has done some great things for Black Entertainment. In this case, it is not so great, but this person’s efforts will not go unnoticed. He hasn’t done anything “ground breaking” and his contributions that I will highlight will not make him eligible for a Noble Peace Prize…

He has done great things for Black entertainers today. Aside from his rap career, his movies have introduced us to some of the top headlining acts in comedy. As far as lending a helping hand, he has done that and then some!

His movies have the launched the careers of Chris Tucker, Mike Epps, Katt Williams, Terry Cruise, John Witherspoon, Bernie Mac, DeRay and more!!!… So whom am I talking about?

Ice Cube!!!!!

Yea, that’s right! Ice Cube has created, produced, and directed movies (Friday, Next Friday, Friday after Next, Barbershop, etc…) that have not only brought these actors to the light but have added a spark to their careers! Hats off Bruh!

Ok, so we all know about Karrine Steffans (Super Head) and her book that made the New York Times Best Sellers list. We also know that many mistresses/sideline girlfriends are coming from everywhere and putting their business “out in the street.” It is the new gig for H*’s. Sleep with a celebrity and make some money while telling about your experience (I touched this topic in a previous blog). Recently, Carmelo Anthony’s name has been amongst these celebrity scandals.

There is a groupie, Sheneka Adams, who is writing a book about her encounters with a bunch of famous men, including married NBA player Carmelo Anthony. Coincidentally, this book is being brought to everyone’s attentions right around the same time that Carmelo’s name is making the headlines for trade rumors to either New York or Los Angeles (keep in mind, these are just rumors). (It is all unfortunate, considering the fact that Carmelo just lost his sister. She was only 36 and the mother of 4… very tragic!)

Apparently, Mello has made it known that he wants to be traded to New York. We all know about the media circus that takes place in NY. So, is Carmelo making a mistake by bringing his baggage to NY for the world to see?

The answer is NO! If anything, its good PR (public relations). When you think of the NBA, Melo is probably the player that you least think about. He is a great player that is over-shadowed by the likes of Lebron, Kobe, and Dwight Howard and so on…So believe it, or not, all the negative media attention he could potentially get in either cities (LA or NY) will help his career. He’ll make all major headlines since his wedding was so over the top that it literally had its own show on VH1.

It will hurt him in the beginning but after a couple “I’m sorry” statements during press conferences, “Melo loves the kids” charity events, and a plethora of “I’m a family man now” pictures sent to the media; The public will love and adore him. It’ll even have an impact on his game. We all know superstars do not necessarily have to be the “best” as long as they do well; Their name will keep coming up. Those large media markets will eat this up and he will be the next Magic Johnson, Chris Brown, Alicia Keys (home-wrecker), Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, etc…

The public is very forgiving of celebrity screw-ups. People will chalk it up like “hey, he’s a man just like everybody else. He can make mistakes”. Even though, putting a ring on his wife, La La, finger wasn’t a mistake. She deserves better. But hey… we all deserve a 2nd chance, right?

Now I know a lot of you are going to disagree and even hate me for this. However, it is ok, I don’t mind. Sorry, but somebody has to say it!

Now, at some point in life we’re all going to be hypocritical. I don’t care who you are; at some point, you will have a derogatory opinion about a situation someone is going through. Given that nobody is perfect (stop acting like your s*&t don’t stink), you never had the right to offer a suggestion or an opinion in the first place.

Regardless of what you have been through, abortion should very well be an option for most people. Now, that might sound cruel but it is something that isn’t as bad as you think. People who had no business making babies in the first place consumed most of the murderers, rapist and overall bad people in this world. Not to say that every criminal was born into a bad situation but, let’s be honest. We all know somebody who is not fit to be a parent. Either they don’t like kids or they don’t treat their children with the love, support and guidance that every child needs. You can’t lie and say that you have never had that thought… “I feel sorry for those kids, look at how he/she treats them”… “I wish them the best but, he/she is leading them down the wrong road.”

The children you conceive suffer most! You must be well prepared to conceive a child. You knew you could not afford a child, so why would you have one? That’s like buying a house worth $300,000 and you only make $30k a year. You’re living pay check to pay check trying to afford it, when you can barely do for yourself.

It kills me to hear some of the excuses. Some use religion as a convenient excuse. Well, most of us sin every day; all sins are the same. No one sin weighs more than the other does…

Please don’t mistake me for some kind of monster. I know it sounds harsh; every human being deserves the chance to live… but these kids don’t deserve some of the awful situations in which they are born. Child abuse, child molestation and all other unruly acts towards children usually happen within the home in which the child lives. Folks! If you know you don’t like kids… if you know you don’t have the time or the patience to raise one, why wouldn’t you practice safe sex? Alternatively, use your right of PRO CHOICE… The best option of all *drum roll*… ADOPTION!… Give these kids to someone who cares. There is a loving home with grateful people out there willing to take care of your child.

I can’t even imagine the struggles you had to go through in your journey. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, you lead a great movement that allowed me and my peers to progress. You truly paved the way for us!

At the same time, I apologize on behalf of my peers. Some of us have done some great things through the opportunities that we are given. Others?… well, lets just say they really need MORE HELP! I don’t know where we went wrong Dr. King. Instead of uplifting each other, we tear each other down (crabs in a barrel theory). There is so much senseless violence going on that the black male population is scarce! Believe it or not, there is no need for the KKK. Racist organizations from other races don’t need to be active anymore. They just sit back and watch us self-destruct. We destroy ourselves mentally and physically. Black on black violence is ridiculously high!

People outside of our race use us as lab rats in their studies and we allow it. Most the documentaries that focus on Blacks are disrespectful and exploitation at its finest. Our minds are poisoned. It’s to the point we have stereotyped ourselves. During your time period, our people would have been outraged at some of these commercials geared toward black people. Most of which, depict blacks in a negative light (single parent home… loves chicken and juice… talks and looks ghetto, ect…).

The most disappointing factor of our generation is the lack of education. It’s disheartening to say the least. We are given so many resources and we don’t care to use them. Our generation is spoiled. We don’t realize how important an education is. It’s gotten to the point that a mindless and shallow mentality is revered over anything scholarly. Going to class is a thing of the past. Black people are so “star struck” and mesmerized by being a “celebrity” that we aren’t realistic anymore. We don’t plan for the future and establish back-up plans that will allow us to be successful if our dreams fall through. Instead, most of us invest all of our time into “get rich quick schemes”. Black entertainers are more admired than black scholars.

We have made of a mockery ourselves. Nobody is aiding us down the path of destruction. We are characterized as having bad attitudes, being lazy, and constantly hating on one another… For some reason, we were better when we were fighting for a cause then we are when opportunities are given to us. Dr. King, I’m sorry to tell you that you were misunderstood. Our community believes we can’t think for ourselves. Instead, most of us believe that change will only come when we follow a leader. So we think that books and seminars on self-improvement will better our situation instead of simply working hard and relying on our relationship with God to see us through…

You ever notice that whenever you have a problem, the wrong people try to give you advice. The advice is good but the person with the answers needs to listen to themselves talk because they are worse off than you are. It’s funny whenever you have relationship problems, the guy who is on his third marriage wants to hand you a book that provides solutions. It’s all a joke.

But it doesn’t stop there… The credibility of the speaker is only part of the problem in most cases. The real problem is found in the audience. Now some people actually benefit from the message because it might promote self-awareness, confidence and faith. But these people aren’t the problem, they’re usually the people wondering if the people around them will ever change. You have to know who you are talking to. In most cases, the message always refers back to the bible. The bible is used as a reference to teach what’s right and wrong. But, that’s where it goes wrong.

Not everybody worships, respects and understands God and his word as much as others. Everybody knows about God. Whether you have a close relationship or just know that God exist… or not, you’ve heard of a higher power at some point in life… When it comes to God’s word, there is a lot of misunderstanding going on. You often hear sinners reply “God understands me,” as if the punishment for SINS doesn’t apply to them. They misunderstand what true repentance means. They don’t understand that when you repent, you are asking for forgiveness and telling God that you won’t do it again. In other words, they receive the message but the message hasn’t quite reached them in the way it was meant.

Think about it, if the man who cheated on his wife understood the severity of adultery and unfaithfulness to his marriage, would he still be willing to do the things he does? Or would he practice obedience?

Most times, the message is intended for those who are concerned with certain issues, need a solution and actually know God. Let’s take into account that the people who should be listening, aren’t listening. The message is given with good intentions but when you fail to take into account the audience views and who it is meant for, its bad advice.

After a while it looks like you’re just trying to make money with these relationship books and seminars. Most of the time the message is only informative because it’s telling women and men what they should do but it’s given in way that only grabs the attention of the victims (people who want change) instead of the offenders (people who need to change for the better).

“Make your next move, your best move”, “Misery loves company so watch the friends you keep”, “Don’t be so stubborn because change is inevitable”, “Every man dies but not every man lives”, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on”… These are quotes that we’ve all heard at some point in life.

We all hear and learn inspirational quotes every day but, how often do we actually listen? How often do we put our pride to the side and actually admit we have problems/issues? Believe it or not, if you have too much drama and negativity in your life it’s because you allowed it to be there. A lot of people don’t realize that most of the issues they deal with have easy solutions. We tend to create an invisible barrier for ourselves when it comes to certain issues. Anything negative isn’t worth dealing with. So, they say anything worth having is going to be hard work but, sometimes it might not be worth the trouble.

These issues are the same reason why people have so many New Year’s resolutions. They believe that the New Year will magically change their lives for the better. Little do they know that change can only come from within? You have to be passionate and truly believe that you have a problem, and then go from there. Once you have figured out the problem, come up with a solution and practice repetition toward that change.

But you’ve heard it all before… and if you haven’t made that change yet, then you need to reassess you situation… at that point, you have to think about it. Maybe it’s not the people and situations around you that cause you problems… Maybe… just maybe, you are the problem.