20131119

the guy at the gate: a confession

A week ago, I was driving and took a wrong turn and ended up heading toward the university gates after hours. I figured it would be easier to go through campus than turn around, and so I showed the guy at the gate my id, and he asked me where I was going. For some reason, I just lied on the spot and told him I was picking up a friend at the "athletic center." He gave me a funny look, and was like, the gym? I told him again that I was a student and rattled off some stuff that only a student would know. Then he says, more or less, Well, that can all be true, but it doesn't seem like you know where you're going. At that point, I'm mad about being caught in a lie and I turn around.

I'm not the kind of person who lies about stupid stuff like this. I try not to be the kind of person who lies at all. I felt and still feel terrible abut the whole thing. It's hanging with me much longer than I ever thought it would.

What baffles me is that for a while I was mad at the guard for not letting me in. If I were actually picking up a friend at the gym, I might very well have done the exact same thing because I often forget the proper names of things and turn to descriptions of them instead. Pass me the writing thingummie. Where did you put the scooper for soup? If I were actually caught in a situation where they weren't letting me in and I had a reason to be there, I don't know what I would have done differently. Maybe provide the details of what the friend was doing?

The truth is I made a mistake and instead of dealing with the mistake, I chose to complicate the situation by fabricating a story. I could have just told the guard that I made a mistake. The thing is, I know they don't allow through traffic after hours, and there are places to turn around far before the guard house, so I should have just turned around as soon as possible and corrected myself. This could be a metaphor for life, but I'll leave it up to you to iron out the details.

In an odd way, I'm glad it happened. It's making me thing about bigger things like honesty, taking responsibility, thinking things through, and correcting mistakes. I couldn't have asked for a kinder situation for a wake-up call.