..dealing with illusions

Existence

Every kind of expression is a way of purging ourselves of some irresistible emotion. We as creatures are meant to experience and express. These two are the only events that we actually repeat in varying degrees throughout life.

Birth is our ultimate expression and death the ultimate experience. And the entire life is an accumulation of different experiences, which apparently we believe are good or bad for us as per our state of matter.

Our self-worth is based on the quality of experiences that we have, which again are based on illusions. That is why trying to construct a positive or a negative meaning out of our life is a totally meaningless activity. The life is only meant to be lived and watched mindlessly like a movie. But just like the movie, life surprises us with twists and turns and thus elicits every kind of feeling..

Recently I watched the movie Lucy in which Luc Besson says that our ultimate aim is to share our knowledge with others. But what struck me was the music towards the climax. The notes elicited nostalgia, which made me quite uncomfortable. If it was done deliberately, it just meant that we really do not enjoy going beyond the human limitations, whatever good, bad, great, they are supposed to be. In other words, we want our life to be much more than it actually is, we want to leave a legacy of our existence. We just want it to be worth living.

But then, just because life is apparently meaningless, doesn’t it make us free? Free from the consequences of our action? Of course by first showing us that greed, ambition and revenge mean nothing at all?

So, in a way, this meaninglessness is necessary, because ultimately, it teaches us to proceed towards our dissolution in a more peaceful state than we actually do, when we attach ourselves with the objects and creatures of this world.

Saniya Varkhandkar is the author of psychological fiction, The Recluse: A tale of an adult with ADHD.

She has studied Literature at the University of Mumbai, and worked as an Instructional Designer and a freelance writer in various e-learning organizations. At present she is a home-schooling mother who enjoys designing educational and fun activities for her son.

Vedic philosophy, occult science, and stoicism are some of the subjects that interest and inspire her.

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