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About

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon at the end of January 2018, Leslie’s life was irrevocably changed when her 17 year old son told her, “Mom you need to come to the door, there’s a police officer who needs to speak with you.” That’s when she found out that her husband of 33 years, Jim, the father of her 5 children and the Love of her Life since they were 18, had been killed in a motorcycle accident.

(Although he was wearing a helmet, an elderly driver made an illegal left turn and Jim died instantly from a broken neck and other injuries.)

Prior to that, Leslie’s blog had been a mostly hilarious chronicle of the challenges of a lifelong marriage with a large family of teens and young marrieds.

These days she clings desperately to her writing as a cathartic outlet in her healing journey. She shares her experiences as she comes to terms daily with her profound sadness, loneliness and shock, coupled with her effort to ever-capture even the comical side of the saddest, most unimaginable moments life can throw one’s way.

She has been featured on BonBon Break, Blunt Moms, Mid-Life Boulevard, BlogHer, Your Teen Magazine, Today Parenting, Scary Mommy and NPR. She is also pleased to have been featured on The Huffington Post in the United States, as well as Spain, France, Quebec, Japan and Germany.

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68 thoughts on “About”

Dear Leslie, I chanced upon your blog and I’m having such a fun time reading your entries! You should consider being a script writer…you know write lines that allow the lead actress to narrate what’s happening insider her head kind of thing.

That would be so fun! A dream come true. Instead of telling my husband, kids and friends how to think, I could just tell my characters on the tv shows. I promise you all the people in my life would welcome the reprieve.

Hi Leslie, I always enjoy your perspective on life and kids. From Covid-19 to Jims sudden death you have always expressed your feelings from Happy to sad. I hope its getting a little easier to deal with the grief but I know from experience it takes time but you never get over it…it just becomes a part of who you are. I know your family will grow and strange as it seems, that new life is a reminder that you overcame and survived the biggest blow of your life. You are still standing!! Blessings to you and your family.
Janis Jmaeff

I’m a teacher at a middle school. We are constantly struggling with how to stop bullying. I shared your “Worst Nightmare” blog with the school board and entire staff. Everyone loved it and want you to be a guest speaker at our school!

Slap!Slap! ..thanks I needed that! Love your work. Just the sort of funny I need in an Erma Bombeck sort of way! Found you through the bully post and then decided not to sleep in this Sunday morning but read a few more posts in bed. Tickled my funny bone so much..I am up now!! Going to make some lemonade with my lemons, as I right my wrongs with MY music While unadulterated, post-adolescent, peri-menopausal joy streams down my face until my next un-natural disaster. Bonk. You hit the nail that is right on top of my head!

I read your,”Worst Nightmare” blog. My wife shared it on Facebook and I will be doing the same. I want to thank you for something that I thought about, but was unable to put into words. Your daughter’s initial passive aggressive behavior is so prevelant in school today. So much so, it hurts my heart. I believe not only do some parents ignore or not care about their kids acting like this, but also encourage it! As long as their own child can move up on the social ladder, those parents are happy. Parents act like this themselves by using strong arm tactics, school politics and “sucking up” to teachers and coaches. I believe you did a perfect job teaching your child how to be a fantastic, well rounded child, and I am so glad she carried that experience into her young adulthood. Again, thank you for the article and thank you for being a caring, responsible mom! As I like to put it,”You ROCK!”.

As an AF brat, I SO related to your experience–both as a kid, and as a mom. Yes, I was the “mean mom” when it came to my kids. I decided that I wanted to rear my family in ONE place, but they still had the opportunity to expand their horizons when new kids would move into our small school. I told them about how painful it had been for me to make friends–esp when my parents decided to live off-base and my classmates had been BFFs since diaper days. Like you, I insisted that they extend a hand of friendship to the newbies. Sometimes the friendship blossomed into a long one, but regardless, it always provided an open gate through which the new kid could travel. Sometimes, it only takes finding acceptance with a few people to finding your niche in a new place. It was well worth it as my formerly sheltered kids are now friendly, decent adults (34, 32, 28 and 20 yrs old). Thanks again for sharing the “right” way to be a “helicopter” parent.

A friend forwarded your blog post concerning bullying. I have written a middle grade award winning book, Bumbling Bea, which speaks to this subject as well. If you’d ever like to read it and write a review if it, I’d be so pleased.

Your “Worst Nightmare Article” inspired me. I want to talk to my son about it and have not found a great analogy to use with him yet. He was speaking about an awkward kid in his Calculus class that sits alone. I urged him to go talk to him and ask him to join his table/group, but my son said he was new to the school and had not yet established his own position he couldn’t “risk it”. I was a little dumbfounded into what to say and just said it can’t hurt to be kind to everyone. Any insight on what to say that would help him see?

I’d love to feature your bullying article on my website. I’m a fantasy and sci-fi author and will be expanding my horizons to an autobiography which includes my life at the receiving end of bullying. You can check out the site at http://www.lycantis.com but I won’t include the article without your expressed permission.

Yes, I linked over here after reading your excellent piece on your personal experience with bullying, but now I can’t seem to pull myself away! You are a modern day Erma Bombeck and I can’t stop laughing! Can’t wait to follow along!
I’ve been married 35 years, have three married children and eleven grandchildren (from 11 down to 7 months), just turned 60 and am having so much fun!

Ok, I can’t believe someone else could say all the things I was thinking. This story took place for me over 27 yrs ago when my dtr was 13. She was having a birthday party and when she gave me her list of girls to ask, I noticed one of her best friends was not on the list. When questioned, her reply ” I can’t ask her because none of my friends want her there.” This was the beginning of a bullying campaign against someone who had made one offhandedly remark and was now being outcast among her “friends”. I took a stand and used this as a teaching moment for, not only my dtr, but, her friends as well. I insisted she invite the “outcast”. She did and I asked the other invitees to arrive 30 mins earlier for the party. I then sat them down, had a bulling teaching moment with them. It changed everything about their relationship. When the young lady went home after the party, she told her mother what had happened. Her mother quickly called me to say “thank you” for caring. This was something I instinctively knew needed to be done to put an end to something that could have had a tragic ending. Thirteen is such a life changing moment in a young persons life. It wasn’t enough to just explain this to my dtr……that was what made the difference. We need to do more. It is my hope that having that conversation with those young ladies made them stop to think and open their heart and minds to a deeper understanding of what caring is all about. This was 27 yrs ago. Bullying has no timeline. I have always had an inclusive personality. The Golden Rule is my daily walk.

So few mothers would have done what you did. They just don’t want to be involved at that level. This same strong I wrote about was at the receiving end of bullying as well as my other 2. There was one bday sleepover Gracie (the daughter from this story) was not invited to being hosted by a little girl who had just spent the night with us the previous weekend! When I asked the other mother if Gracie had done something to offend, the mother said that, “no….” Her daughter just didn’t want Gracie there. So that was the plan? That every 4th grade girl in the group go except Gracie? They were all playground a few lunch table buddies. It was just that they vied for the same bff, so for the little girls bday, her mother was going to give her the gift of exclusivity, rather than a life skill….

You nailed it with that social capital piece. I knew I was doing a good job of paying attention and supporting my child who needed my help, but your piece shocked me into remembering to look at my other child who has social capital to spare and explore with him whether he is being all he can be with the other kids in his life. We just had a frank and tearful conversation about my own experiences as an excluded child and what someone like him would have had to offer someone like me had they given me a second look. Really profound moment for both of us. That’s making a real difference with your writing – bravo.

As a former teacher and a Navy brat who’s family finally settled in a social bubble of a community after living in many diverse populated areas, I was cheering for all its worth at your article. Your tough love approach with your “social bully” daughter is right on point. The practice, assignments, and follow through is the guidance good teachers should master with students and parents can use to a great advantage. The social bullying is a silent one with as you say, no ugly words and no violence but comes with emotional scars.

Your social bullying story brought many tears to my eyes because my youngest brother is being targeted by many of his 4th grade class. He is not only suffering the verbal aspect of bullying but also the physical. The worse part yet is that the teachers are aware of this and it has just been ignored by all. If only you could come to the school and bring awareness through your story! You have inspired me to want to do something about it! Thank you for your story! Please, if you ever have a chance come to our school and talk to them!

I loved your story of Bethany. I too was that child. I can remember when my oldest child, now 36, was going on a field trip in second grade, there was little girl who was t dressed as nicely as the others. I took my daughter aside and said ” please always be kind to people who look different and not make fun of their clothes, because that was me when I was little. Children should not feel the heartache. Thanks for teaching yours and, hopefully, others 😉

What a beautiful story and a cherished memory for you and for your daughter. I bet she is a lovely young woman. Through your own suffering, you learned compassion and went on to develop that in the next generation and so on…that’s such a legacy. Thank you for sharing.

I really liked your blog re bullying. I have always tried to do the same with my children. However my daughter now was nice to a girl who the other girls sort of leave out and the girl now follows her around like a shadow which has completely suffocated her. Apparently the girl just talks and talks incessantly that she now borders on annoying. What practical advice do I give my daughter who tells me im trying to be nice without hurting her feelings but i cant take much more of this? Id appreciate the advice as im all out of idea’s.

I just sent a link to your “The Day I Decided My Daughter Will Not Choose Her Own Friends.” I switched my daughter’s school when kids on the playground told her she was being “annoying,” and the principal’s response to us was, “Everyone is entitled to an opinion.”

Unbelievable. I’m glad you switched schools. It’s not that there aren’t children being less than kind at all schools, it’s about the adults who are guiding and hopefully re-directing their impulses. It’s hard to believe that that’s what a school administrator offered you…heartbreaking.

I loved your piece on bullying. I would like to get your thoughts on how to steer kids away from ‘bad’ friends. My granddaughter is AD/HD & is on medication. She is in 1st grade. She is drawn to another girl in her class with the same issues. My grand – daughter has a tumultuous home life & we struggle to keep things level for her. This girl that my granddaughter is drawn to has a similar situation at home. I’ve allowed a couple of play dates & am worried about this ‘friendship’. This little girl is extra bossy. When I tell my granddaughter to stand up for herself, she whines & says the girl tells her, ‘I won’t be your friend’. How can I give my granddaughter the confidence she needs to steer away from bossy friends & unhealthy relationships?

There are definitely a few things you can do for her since she is still so young. When parents and grandparents are still in charge of facilitating the play dates, (because we have the car and the funds -lol) we have a little bit of control/influence. Steer her towards others by coordinating outings with a variety of differnt girls. Refrain from saying you don’t care for the little girl she favors, just insist on mixing it up. At the end of the day, my girls were always up for a movie date or a pizza outing no matter who they were with. They are kids, after all.

But the most important thing I really think you can do is keep the lines of communication open and the dialogue constant. Remind your granddaughter over and over that true friendship is not about how you feel about another person, but how you feel about yourself when you’re with them. Keep reiterating this and other pieces of wisdom regarding friendship so she always knows she can talk freely with you about friendship and other topics without judgement. I’m sure you can be a guiding force in her life.

Thanks for your candid story regarding your daughter and “choosing” her friends. How refreshing to read someone’s personal account of a situation we all face as mothers of girls – that is not sugar-coated in the slightest.

Leslie, It is so nice to hear about other moms who act as a Strong 2nd consious for their kids. When I went back to work, to help bring in money to the household, I took a Job with the after school program, at my girls elementary school. Thats when I learned so much about parenting and shaping my girls character to be a good citizen and member of the Human race. It has to start Young. Very Young. From the first Birthday party, that they have (inviting all the kids in class, even the ones you don’t like) to joining a girlscout troupe that isnt Clicky (my daughters Troupe had a buddy group where they paired with Special education kids, and had a partners for activities – 50% / 50% group). I can proudly say she now does fundraisers for Gigis playhouse and other community events as well as goes to Elderly Homes and performs for them. Watching me help other kids and work part time, taught her to be more independent and self reliant, as well as not totally pampered. Granted I don’t have 5 Wow thats a big bunch, I suppose growing up in a bigger family dynamic also teaches tolerance and getting along with everyone. Keep writing, I love to hear about your insights and these things we have in common. I am a dance teacher (along with my daughter who now teaches dance and musical theater programs. And we are loving our purpose and focus. My other Daughter (I just have 2) is a Registered nurse at a hospital (also caring for people) It makes me proud.

Dearest friend,
You amaze me with your beautiful and hilarious view of life. The love and care you give is abundant. I continue to pray for your sweet heart and that you may experience all the love you’ve given hundred fold.
XO
Bambi