Fit In: 4 Steps

3- Implicate yourself

The third step to fitting in entails that you to find a way to involve yourself in the workings of the culture. Despite its criminal connotations, we use the term “implicate” with careful deliberation. The idea here is to make yourself known to this group. It's your chance to remake yourself in an image more suited to how you see yourself. Project to others the qualities you value by being a doer. For example, choose to opt out of office gossip, volunteer your skills or expertise to a community, actively listen when people talk to you, remember the names of people you meet and use them when you see them next. Implicate yourself in the lives of the people around you by being the kind of person people want to be around.

When trying to fit in, it's easy to be passive and go along for the ride, but it's hard to do this without compromising yourself.

4- Bring value

In our accelerated steps to fitting in, the final step is to make a contribution to that culture according to those values you evaluated in the first step. This act is symbolic; you are confirming the values of this culture by agreeing to be a part of them.

Keep in mind that some people are quick to close ranks if they perceive the slightest threat, so try not to overdo it. If you earned an invitation to go play some golf on a late weekday afternoon, take it at face value. Be careful, too, of the temptation to gravitate toward the most overtly friendly person around, it's too easy and you risk getting “adopted” by them, a situation that could prove uncomfortable down the road. You're better off hanging back a little in order to get a feel for the social landscape. After all, there are many paths into any social circle, but the one you should be wary of is the path of least resistance.