Fly the Naked Skies

Today's reports of a thwarted terrorist plot seem to have everyone in a froth, with security forces at airports in both England and the U.S. scrambling to ban a wide array of common liquids, pastes, and cosmetic products from carry-on luggage. This, because the plot in question apparently planned to use a common
sports drink and a peroxide product to create an improvised explosive.

In response, the Brits have gone so far as to ban carry-on bags altogether. Tho U.S. authorities will continue to allow carry-on bags, they will ban all liquids, pastes, etc. with the exception of medications and baby formula or breast milk (tho mothers may be required to have a sip of their own milk in the presence of security officials to prove the innocence of the substance). Naturally, the whole process has resluted in obscene delays and has caused thousands of passengers to jetison their make-up, toothpaste, soft drinks, and other items before boarding their flights.

Well, I say we've not gone nearly far enough. Liquids can still be smuggled aboard by being soaked into fabrics, only to be wrung out later in the airplane lavatory. So the solution I propose is simple: an all-nude international flight policy requiring all passengers to strip to their birthday suits before boarding. Clothes would be surrendered to security personnel, where they would be tagged and bagged, inspected for concealed fluids, then shipped along with all luggage to their waiting owners aboard a separate flight that would carry no passengers, only their baggage and clothing (a "freight plane" if you will). Once both the all-nude passenger flight and the corresponding freight plane arrive at their destination, passengers would be reunited with their clothing and belongings at the usual terminal luggage return.

Of course, one would have to be a little more careful when snapping the seatbelt buckle before takeoff. But when it comes to security, no sacrifice is too great.

Greta -
Well, I'd just say that it's yet another product of hysteria and likely useless.

Since Richard Reid's failed "shoe bomb" in 2003, millions of passengers have been required to remove their footwear at airport security checkpoints. The footwear policy has neither revealed nor seemingly discouraged any terrorist activity. It's just served to delay and humiliate the average air passenger.

Suppose that an extremist nutjob attempts to rectally smuggle a device aboard a plane? Do we endorse full cavity searches of all passengers?

Also note that the present plot was NOT uncovered by airport security...but thru undercover work.

Don't think i'll be flying much if the nekkid flight policy comes to pass. Maybe they can give you special 'airline' paper underwear or something...which everyone will then begin stealing like the headphones.

I think I heard Bill Maher make this same suggestion . . . which got me thinking about how terrorists might try to find some way to sneak stuff on airplanes. And then I really didn't want to start thinking about that level of searching!