Ed predicted that by the year 2000, alcoholics would be drinking in cocktail lounges located in outer space, thousands of miles away from the planet Earth.

Instead of ordering drinks like boilermakers, gin and tonics, scotch and soda, margaritas, and brandy alexanders, alcoholics of the year 2000 would be bellying up to the bar and ordering Atomic Highballs, Satellite Champagne, Nuclear Gin, and Cosmic Beer.

The idea of an alcoholic beverage that glows in the dark and gives an x-ray picture of the inside of the alcoholic's stomach is in interesting one, but it is already the year 2005, and it hasn't happened yet.

This is probably because no one in their right minds would WANT to look at the inside of an alcoholic's stomach!

Court: "Come now, O'Toole, your sentence will be less if you confess where you bought this liquor."

"I didn't buy it, your honor. A kindhearted Scotchman gave it to me."

Court: "Guilty on two counts. Sixty days for theft and thirty days for perjury."