Kids, don't let this happen to you.

5 March 1994

SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! When I get angry I just feel like slamming doors. SLAM!

6 March 1994

7 March 1994

I wish I were looking better. pat pat Now, now. There's no reason for you to do that. I'M the one who should wish you were better looking.

8 March 1994

Garfield, I've been looking at myself in the mirror. And I have to ask you a question. An I macho? He apparently doesn't notice I have a mouthful of food.

9 March 1994

I really need to change my image, Garfield. I fully agree. Change can be a healthy thing. You couldn't be more right. We could both stand to improve our looks a little, right? Speak for yourself, donkey face.

10 March 1994

Women like men who are tall, dark and handsome. Do you think I could be tall, dark and handsome? You sure could. Stand on a chair, turn out the lights, and lie.

11 March 1994

You know, Garfield... I wish I had a secret identity like superheroes do. Your identity IS a secret.

12 March 1994

Z Z YANK! WHIRRRRRR Z STOMP! B-D-D-D-D-D-d

13 March 1994

* DING TIME TO EAT! Cats don't go "ding". I ate the egg timer.

14 March 1994

You're fat. And lazy. See? I'm doing the work of two cats!

15 March 1994

You wait right here, Odie. I'll go get your food. MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

16 March 1994

Z It's good to see you on the job. What job? And, where did that hole in the wall come from?

17 March 1994

Where's my present? I can't bring you something every time I go out. Then why go out?

18 March 1994

Are you having as much fun as I am? I'm bored. I guess you are.

19 March 1994

ZOOOOM WHIP WHIP Why do cats do that?! It drives me nuts! You just answered your own question, boopsy!

20 March 1994

Ever notice how cats are able to blend into the background?

21 March 1994

Here's a ball of yarn to play with. How do you turn it on?

22 March 1994

You cats are lucky you have fur. It keeps you warm and cozy. It also covers up my coiled snake tattoo.

23 March 1994

Z When cats want someone to wake up, we walk across him. YAAAH! In golf shoes.

24 March 1994

Cats are creatures of nature. We do things based entirely on...uh... Instinct!

25 March 1994

Garfield, it's dangerous up in that tree! Not for the graceful cat! At least not for the graceful cat with a parachute.