last valentines, i never thought i was a flower person.. but when we looked at each other in they eye, i realized that i wanted one long stem red rose more than anything else in the world. the last time i got flowers was almost 17 years ago. after that, i never gave much thought to it. i disliked the feeling. or was uncomfortable with the thought of ever getting it from anyone else.. 16 years later, i came face to face with who i REALLY am.

i am not that tough at all. i thought i find it too cheesy for my taste. only to realize that it has to come from the only right person. only then… i knew who i really am. i laughed at the others who used to give me. until i didnt get any at all for almost two decades. its just a flower… but it meant everything to me.

i didnt want a new watch, a piece of jewelry, a new car, a house… a new gadget… i didnt want anything from him but a red rose.. its amazing how love can transform a person into someone they never thought they are. transform in a way that i am finally in touch with who i really am, in touch with the truth that i am not the person i grew into over the years after losing my heart…

i got what my heart desired and when it was time to really be true and honest..certain circumstances happened that somehow, i had to re-learn the art of loving my self unconditionally once again.. seeing a red rose crushes my heart.

so i decided to shower myself with roses every few days because seeing my room without it makes me sad… the flowers are just too pretty to throw away when they have withered, so i tried to make potpourri at first then ventured out to dried flower arrangements. i love it. it brings out a different side of me ….

life is full of surprises… and i have always believed that the one thing we run away from is the only thing worth fighting and dying for. the feeling of discontent is the only thing that what could truly make us feel contentment is also ironically speaking what we shield ourselves from. 🙂