Right now my blog is being viewed only by people who are searching for white mini van scams. Which is cool?

I not touch this thing accept to accept comments for the white mini van scam post.

fun?

So do I continue to blog? do I start a vLog? or do I fall into this micro blog ring called twitter and tweet?

See – I think a Blog is only successful if you are able to create some great content… otherwise just tweet. And if you what to up the production of your blog just put a face and more character on it and make a vlog.

whatever – the conclusion I get from this is… tweet more – learn about vlogging and start blogging again… but make it entertaining – and maybe post weekly.

So get ready for some good blogging – starting tomorrow…. if you are still following this lost wordpress.

Since I was 6 I had a weird perception of love. It was because I knew a real life Barbie and Ken.

Barbie and Ken met like how all perfect loves meet. In the quad on a gorgeous day spring quarter. She was a freshman, he was a senior. They both liked to hang out with friends and play volley ball and on that day their two friend circles crossed and so they met. They met for the first time but they knew in each others eyes that they have found something special in each other. They became friends shortly after… After all they were both dating someone else at the time – but that didn’t stop them from growing closer.

Ken would follow Barbie to Seattle and he would go to New York to learn Chinese for her…. Barbie went home for the summer. This is when I found out about Barbie and Ken – and this is when I started formulate what true love really meant. Barbie and I were pretty close – She always brought me around, she taught me English. She loved hanging out with me and I loved hanging out with her. She started writing letters to Ken – lots of letters. She had me draw pictures for her to send to him.

One day – as we were making one of these gift packages for Ken she popped in a tape. “Listen to this song Steve, close your eyes.. can you hear the love, can you feel the love.” She said.

And I listened… and I was drawn in for some reason. Was it because of Barbie’s influence? Was it because I started to understand what love was? Was it because I was drawn to the promise of a storybook love? Who knows? I was like 9 years old.

Barbie and Ken got married when I was 11. She was 24 and he was 27 – The wedding was amazing and so was my perception of love.

So perfect Barbie and Ken.

Since then I have fallen in love and out of love. broke hearts and had a broken heart. I don’t believe in a storybook love anymore – Barbie and Ken was just a fluke. Or maybe I just have not found my Barbie yet. Maybe I just haven’t found my Barbie to find the Ken in me.

This year I am going to have 12 new year’s resolutions… it should be easy to come up with them, I have a lot of bad habits lol.

With no particular order!!!!

1. That’s what she said is getting old – no more ttws
2. Eating smaller portions – Studies show that eating smaller portions prolong your life
3. Exercise on the daily – I have a gym membership, I am going to use it!
4. No aim/facebook at work – time to focus at work so I have less long nights
5. Go out to eat once a week – I know how to cook so I should do it.
6. Stop drinking so much – seriously this needs to end.
7. Stop going to Seattle so much – I need to make more friends in SF lol.
8. Step on the other side of the club scene – time to calm down…
9. Limit my computer use outside of work – I am already on this thing all day and I got this stupid iPhone that makes me ADD for social networking.
10. Get better with spinning – I like music time to create it.
11. Learn how to play jazz piano – its just cords and scales right? I might need some lessons…
12. Find supportive people in my life and stop trying to be everyone’s friend – When someone is friends with everyone they are friends with no one.

Oh man 12 already? I could go on… I sneaked (i swear it was snuck) two in the last one even.

One of my favorite songs of all time has got to be lean on me by Bill Withers – when I bought my first keyboard this was the first song I learned.

I mean this song is so good. “Lean on me when you aren’t strong” “I’ll help you carry on” “I’ll share your load, just call me” I mean what a good cheerful, inspirational song about being there for the people you love.

So…. what happens when you love the wrong people?

You start to feel the wear of being used because you just constantly give your love away to those who don’t appreciate it or if they are so appreciative they are just that.. appreciative and not reciprocative (yes, I made that word up). So you start to realize that you are just being used… like Bill Withers describes in his song. – eh at least he alludes to getting some ass from being used all the time…that’s kind a sick bonus. “I want to spread the news that its a good deal getting used, so use me…until you use me up.”

And looks what happens if you take your “lean on me” mentality and you have these great platonic friends… that are just friends and will always be just your friends?

You get emotionally attached to someone who you should have never been attached to cause you can’t keep the line clean in your mind. She/he is already there – you just need to get on bored again – forget that they aren’t of ever will be yours before its to late.

But… it’s too late? It’s too late you say? Seems like it was too late for Bill Withers too.

You start to get delusional and end up needing reciprocation of some kind..please..anything…something? Your world has been taken control of by one simple thought- and all else doesn’t matter anymore.

But wait, your platonic friend just crossed the line… once..and then there is hope!

no man… you just encountered what scientists call random outliers. But your hope is restored and you have energy to go on further! Cause hope is all one person needs.

Speaking about needs. Not that you got their attention – you want to know how to turn them on in this new way right?

But in the end- it was never meant to be, you fell in love with your friend who didn’t reciprocate. Well… maybe once but then they leave.

I have made my last few lean on my friends this year. No more lean on me friends I have enough and I love them all very much – platonic wise of course cause I’m the ish like that. Should have kept them separated Bill Withers. Should have kept them separated.

x: so steve, i just told my parents i’m gonna go karaoke tonight
x: they have NO IDEA i’m about to head to an orgy in hollywood haha
me: lol
x: don’t tell them shhh
me: hopefully its as good as last time
thats what she said

x: I’m more open minded than that
lol
me: thats what she said

x: shutup steve
x has to finish
me: thats what she said

x: yep haha
how did you know?
since it was my first time?
me: whats what she said?
lol cuz u said u didnt have one
thats what she said!

good friends are hard to come by
haha true
me: ..thats what she said?

x: I don’t mind my mouth as much
thats what she said
me: lol

x: its bound to get out sooner or later
thats what she said
me: what?

me: lol
I donno where x comes from sometimes
thats what she said.

x: ah x!
where did you come from
x: surprise?
haha
me: …thats what she said?

me: sweet
i want to do yoga on it
x: that’s what she said

x: I worked at a home depot
I was the fastest cashier… ever
but I made a lot of mistakes going so fast
me: lol
thats what she said?

me: then she wouldnt be outside all the tiem
and she can come in through the back door
thats what she said

x: hi
long time no talk
me: yeah… really long
x: haha
me: thats what she said?

x: toss it over here
me: ok
ill try
thats what she said

me: unless the girl had her own thing
x: a long thing?
me: thats what she said?

They could stay with you for a reason, season or a lifetime and when u realize which one it is you will know what to do for that person…

When someone in your life for a REASON

It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through difficulty and to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically emotionally and spiritually. They may seem like god send and they are there for that period.

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any given reason they move away from your life, leaving a chapter well written, each time you think about what you acquired and how you overcame this situation, that particular person come to mind. If it had not been for him, my god! How would I had escaped this, is something that would always come as a reference.

I had build a top floor which would had been demolished if not for a person in life who just walked in and introduced me to great people who can help me through and to day after all these years when I look at the first floor, the person always come to mind, just out of the blue he landed and just like that he was gone, so there are people who are sent by god to help us in some ways most needed.

When someone in your life for a SEASON,

It is more your turn to share and grow and learn. They bring you an experience of peace love and laughter, they can teach you some thing you have never done, and they usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it is real but only for a season…

These people sometime leave a chapter you want to refer back in time, trying to open this page as you move on with your age, it could had been a phase of perseverance a longing for that period again, they have left behind a mark for you to ponder and think again, the love that you shared, the enlightenment that you had is something too cherished to vanish with time. The longing in heart will remain to go back into that time, the patience, dedication one had is something to revere again.

Some people come for a LIFETIME:

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things one must build upon, it is a solid emotional foundation and a learning process throughout through mistakes and making ups. Your job is to accept the lessons and love the person and put what

You have learnt to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Even in life long relation people go away due to situations, death, fight and misunderstanding, but it is better to make up fast as life is not forever. Something lost in relation is something lost forever…

All said and done, still life keeps some vacant place to be filled as there is a small corner which never gets filled with love, and I am still in the process of searching for that lifelong love, if only I could get in this last season of life….

You know I really believe in Christ. But I got to say I have been hurt the most from those who believe in the same religion as me. I got to do some reflecting this past weekend and I did not like that quiteness.

Good thing is… things are winding down at work so there will be some more quiteness.

I am pretty excited for this weekend. Almost as excited as I was last weekend and almost as excited as I will be for thanks giving… week/eat-o-thon?

This weekend, I am taking care of my cousins kids 🙂 Thanks right… its gonna be a slumber party with uncle Steve.

email from the cousin:

Great!

The kids were hoping you could take them to dim sum Saturday for lunch? I’m
sure they would enjoy seeing High School Musical 3 too. Kelly will need to
spend time either Sat afternoon or Sunday morning doing homework. Mia will
also have a little.

They’re very excited about spending this weekend with you.

^__________________^

Maybe I will just end up being that Uncle that everyone likes. When they are like 16 they will all be blogging like “UNCLE STEVE TOOK ME TO DISNEY LAND” or “UNCLE STEVE BOUGHT ME A HONDA CIVIC FOR MY 16th BIRTHDAY”