Followers

Subscribe To Anteaters

Profile

UPDATE ONE - evening of the 21stThank you everyone for all the supportive and sympathetic comments. Even before I knew he had passed I felt him visit me. They had told us to go home and, I guess in wanting to believe everything would be okay, we did. He did look at me when I got him out of the carrier but when I layed him in the vet kennel on his blanket he just layed right were placed but Pua had looked as bad for awhile and she pulled through. I sent him healing energy the whole drive but saw the energy that was taking him in him and getting stronger and then I couldn't reach him any more. I layed down with Pua when I got home and felt him lay with us, I've never felt one so soon before. It was not long after that we got the call.

Pua generally sleeps during the day so she is sleeping and I've been in and out of bed with her. She did get up once and go curl up on the shelf. She would normally join Stewie and sleep the day away. But she came back awhile later after being curled up awhile and then looking sad and sniffing around. I did hear her plainly say "Yes I know he's passed" and "Yes, it's very sad" Even though I didn't specifically ask her. She did eat some when she was up. She may be a little more hardened than me, her being wild and I being a mere soft domestic creature. I will miss hearing their tails slap around against things as they wrestled together.

Yes they are very delicate. Though I called Stewie my little Studebaker(Stew-du-baker) because he seemed so big and strong and seemingly invincible. I get many rescuers of wild tamanduas write me for advice to try and save them. If I did not have them that would be one less resource for them potentially more lives lost. He made a great impact in his life, I can't even count all the responses I've gotten but am grateful for them all and it is touching so many shared in his spark of life. He was always so bright and wide eyed like the world just WOWed him all the time.

I knew they were delicate animals but never expected such a problem with Stewie. He was always so strong. I hoped he would live to see 20yrs(oldest confirmed was 19 but care is so much better for them now).

I remember one time he stopped to meditate and I asked him to take me with him. He said he wasn't going anywhere but he tried to guide me. He wanted me to expand myself and touch the universe with him. He's out touching the universe now. Perhaps when we are both ready he will now be my guide.---UPDATE 2I wrote that the other day for a couple lists but had planned to edited to be more exceptable for everyone but have changed my mind. If you don't believe in what I do you can at least know my beliefs make me feel better and I'm not totally crazy or I'd be locked up somewhere ;)

Pua is doing good she has even played with me. First night she was sad but life has to go on and she did her usual rounds half heartedly. She would go to the closet and then remember he wasn't there then walk away instead of going up. She saw a backpack full of stuffing in the playpen and leaped onto it like she expected it to be Stewie so I played with her instead. She's used to spending some time with each of us so she will head for his usual places only to come back to me to sleep and not actually go check. Last night she climbed up onto the closet shelf once and looked for him then sat and looked sad and I swear got teary eyed. Another time she sat on the head board and sniffed at my tears as we remembered him. We played in the closet as well because on the way down she stopped and waved her arm as if to play with an invisible Stewie so I played with her again as she hang from the shelves.

She has taken it a lot better than expected but again she is from wild stock and loved ones can be lost frequently and if you sit and mope about it something would get you too.

I myself have been through a healing of shorts and am now doing much better than expected as well.

Thanks to all for the good thoughts and healing energies sent our way.

----Yes Stewie is an angel

He took a piece of his soul to mend my broken heart. There is just no way I can do justice to the experience.

I read a post about negative emotions and other energies causing problems the other day and it hit home more than ever before. There has been quit a bit of tension in the family lately. Stewie was a little healer and he seemed to make it a point to get under foot and into trouble when tensions were high. He may have been sending calming energy out or trying to take up the bad to help. This in turn helped weaken him so the illness could take hold. But thanks to Stewie I am at the point I can go on without beating myself or others up over it. It was just a contributing factor I can learn from and do better.

On the ride down the hill for some business an to pick up Stewie's stuff things started to get tense but I stopped my self from drawing that energy in and making myself crazy and instead let go and concentrated on a calming energy surrounding us all and things got a whole lot better. There are some beliefs that in some situations you trade a piece of your soul with someone and I came to realize that while it felt that a piece of me had been ripped away with Stewie I had a little piece of him in me and to honor him I will cherish it, nourish it, and help it grow.

I can look at the world in wonder, cherish every moment good and bad but especially enjoy the good. Great everyone as a friend. Love and help when I can and not let others bring me down. Do what I feel is right even if I may look silly. Not be afraid to look silly. And of course never give up if I really want something, keep trying I may just succeed some day.

I have plenty of stories to fit all of those possitive affirmations and more of him. And if Stewie has a message to pass on it is those possitive thoughts.

One day he stopped in the middle of running around and began meditating. My parents were watching "Home make over" and a lady was crying. He wanted to help her. I tried to explain she had already been helped but he did not understand the nature of recorded TV. He said no she needs help and he was going to send some energy and try and help. So he did then after awile he looked up and said I was right that she is fine now. He didn't understand how it could be but he had no regrets at all. His positive energy could only do good and he did the right thing even if it did seem silly to some at the time that he was trying to help someone on a tv show who had already been helped. Don't feel bad just take heart in the fact you did the right thing and go on with your life and run around some more.

So I watched the sea gulls circle and took in the world and picked up his things with no problems and sent some postitive energies out to stressful situations or looking people. On the ride home There was the biggest brightest and most unique rainbow I've ever seen. It raised strait up into the sky like a colum of rainbow colored fire and I knew it was Stewie. And beside it a cloud formed over the mountain in the shape of a giant hand of god caressing the mountain beside him. It was there for most of the drive then slowly both faded up into the sky. Stewie was just to big to stay in such a little body for long but I am truely honored to have had him in my life.

Reactions:

3
comments:

Such a beautiful commentary and memorial to him. The picture is very much like I had envisioned, except the one I was thinking of had him standing. Perhaps Stewie may choose to be reincarnated sometime soon, perhaps as another anteater, perhaps even as a human this time around. Or he may choose to remain your Guardian Angel for the rest of your life.At a time like this words seem so pointless...especially from cyber stranger/friends...

I offer the sentiment seen on an ancient New England headstone,that I thought was very beautiful:

'Tis just a body, just a shellthe friend you loved no longer there.Shed not for him the bitter tearNor fill thy heart with vain regret'Tis but the empty vessel that lies hereThe jewel that filled it sparkles yet

Such a beautiful commentary and memorial to him. The picture is very much like I had envisioned, except the one I was thinking of had him standing. Perhaps Stewie may choose to be reincarnated sometime soon, perhaps as another anteater, perhaps even as a human this time around. Or he may choose to remain your Guardian Angel for the rest of your life.At a time like this words seem so pointless...especially from cyber stranger/friends...

I offer the sentiment seen on an ancient New England headstone,that I thought was very beautiful:

'Tis just a body, just a shellthe friend you loved no longer there.Shed not for him the bitter tearNor fill thy heart with vain regret'Tis but the empty vessel that lies hereThe jewel that filled it sparkles yet

Your commentary is so touching. I'm grateful you shared because your perspective is so healing. I'm having a bit of a cry here and what you've written has helped so much. Thank you.

I've read that animals don't feel the same about death - they don't see it as an end as we do, but just as another step. I'm so pleased that Pua is coping with the loss of her soulmate. But it must be awful for you both - I'm thinking of you.

Stewie was a very special individual and I feel honoured to have known him, even at a distance. His spirit and joy will live on in your photos and our hearts.