Questions From a Recent High School Grad

My name is [redacted] and I stumbled upon your blog while searching for posts about the Ivy League.

I was rejected from all of the Ivies or Ivy-equivalents I applied to (or rather, mostly wait-listed and then rejected). I was accepted to Swarthmore […] as well as “safeties” which awarded me merit scholarships. I was also rejected by schools considerably less selective than the Ivies…

My high school experience was similar to yours. I graduated with highest honors in the top 10% of my class; took 11 AP and 6 honor courses; earned school wide, local, and national awards; and have extensive leadership experience in unusual areas (founder/president of two clubs, congressional intern, created and taught an actual class at my school, varsity tennis).

[…]

I’m not writing to you simply to vent–I’m looking for advice. Since my dismal decisions were released, I’ve been feeling great anxiety over the fact that I worked so hard for sub-par results. Of course Swarthmore is amazing, but I still regret not studying harder for the SAT points, or bringing that A- up, or my AP Stats score of 3. I also constantly rethink my essays, most of which I thought were great, coming up with possibly more successful topics. Like you, I traded a healthy social life for strong academic success, but without reaping the full, albeit possibly not-worth-it, rewards.

More to the point, I’ve consequently been searching for reasons why it was serendipitous that I wasn’t accepted to my top choice schools. (Its especially difficult with a fellow Ivy-reject father who attempted to live vicariously through me.) Your blog has brought a lot of solace in that respect. I know Swarthmore is nothing to complain about, but I can’t help how I feel.

Anyway, in my search to justify my “it was meant to be” quest, I was wondering if you could add insight to specific flaws within elite universities (although, Swarthmore is certainly elite). Swarthmore is still incredibly intense, so do you have any advice on how not to sacrifice too much of a social life? It seems that an Ivy League graduate in the business market does have an upper hand with such a degree; do you think your major affected your job hunt at all? You say that you did not cultivate any marketable skills–could you have, within Duke, had you done anything different?

Thank you for reading through all of that! I know it was a lot. Even if you can’t respond to the questions, that pseudo-rant was cathartic.

Thanks again,
[redacted]

To which I responded:

Hi [redacted],

Thanks for writing. First, let me tell you that you’re certainly not alone in this experience, and you shouldn’t feel at all bad about it; I know a number of people personally who have been through the same thing, and hopefully the links on this blog serve as adequate evidence of the small but growing army of people who obsessed over their educations, only to be disappointed. Second, you should know that it’s not the end of the world to be rejected from your top picks. On the contrary, plenty of opportunity lies ahead. I do have some advice, although it’s almost certainly not what your peers or your academic advisors will tell you.

To start, how much of a difference your grades make depends heavily on where you go from here. I can tell you straight away that no one asks about high school grades beyond college, and it’s unlikely that anyone will ask you about your college GPA unless you apply for grad school. I chose not to take that route, and in the course of dozens of job interviews – for positions ranging from genetics research and software engineering, to truck driving and pizza delivery – I’ve never once been asked about my grades in college or the classes I took. On a handful of occasions, an interviewer mentioned that he/she thought graduating from Duke was an impressive achievement, but it was never more than a passing comment. Since graduation, I have found that companies focus almost entirely upon practical skills, and on knowledge which is directly applicable to whatever job you’re applying for. Even if you choose to start your own company, there are plenty of real-world skills you’ll need to pick up which you’re unlikely to get in the sheltered environment of a private university. And let’s face it, the most basic necessity we face as adults is finding independent financial sustenance… Only trust-fund babies are exempted from having to work.

So with that in mind, I offer the following suggestions:

Invest time in finding what interests you – try new classes, and pursue courses which you find enjoyable and interesting, but also keep practical skills and real-world demands in mind. In general, engineering and marketing seem to be in high demand, but of course I invite you to do your own research. Life sciences, social sciences, and fine arts can be interesting, but in my observation the job openings are very limited. I studied biology and chemistry at Duke – majors which have little practical use outside of laboratory settings, where there are few opportunities. After graduating from Duke, I struggled to find work for several years and then went back to school (at a state university) and studied computer science. After finishing my CS degree, I found a job straightaway, and I’m now a successful software consultant at a Silicon Valley company – thanks not to Duke, but instead to a phenomenal amount of personal effort reinvesting in a new skill set, as well as a stern reevaluation of my personal situation and my objectives.

Don’t obsess over your grades or test scores. There’s no point in spending four years of your life spinning your wheels and stressing yourself out just trying to compete against your peers, when in the end, we all have to start from scratch looking for work after graduation. Any shortfall in your grades can almost certainly be made up for with professional success, which if you’re genuinely driven, should be no problem. And again, the vast majority of companies simply don’t ask about grades or standardized tests at all. I’m certainly not suggesting that you be a slouch, sleep through your exams, or spend four years getting drunk in a sorority, but don’t work yourself to the point of bitterness and frustration, either.

Socialize and make connections. The one thing that elite schools tend to offer that state schools don’t is a large body of well-to-do and well-connected students. I failed to appreciate or take advantage of this when I was at Duke. I’m not saying you should be Machiavellian, but connections do matter, and this applies even at state schools, where you’ll meet lots of local students who are more likely to stay in the area. That could be helpful if you choose to stay in the area as well. At Duke, almost everyone I knew moved away within six months of graduating, and I imagine this would apply at almost any private school where state and local residents make up only a small minority of the student body.

If Swarthmore turns out to be a hellish experience, whether it’s because the classes are too hard, it costs too much, or you’re just not enjoying it for whatever reason, consider transferring. That may seem inconceivable, but it’s worth keeping in the back of your mind. This idea was suggested to me halfway through my junior year at Duke, but by that point, I thought I’d gone too far to turn back and give up the coveted diploma, so I pushed on and finished. At the time, I was insulted by the suggestion, but in hindsight, I think it would’ve been a better choice to drop out and transfer to a state school. Even at that late stage, it would’ve saved me 18 months of pointless, grueling work and stress, not to mention about $75,000. And my diploma hasn’t carried much weight, so it’s probably not safe to expect much more from yours, either.

You may get better information on job market trends from economic publications than from your college advisors, who (if they’re anything like most of mine) could turn out to be academic fops with no practical worldview, no common sense, and no meaningful experience outside the Ivory Tower. I met some very smart but very myopic and sheltered people at Duke. On the whole, I think I’ve learned more from interacting with “average Joe’s” than I have with Ivy Leaguers.

Anyhow, I hope this information is helpful. And once again – don’t despair! This is the beginning, not the end. Try not to let the past get you down, and try also to be smart and practical about the decisions you make going forward… but don’t assume that you’ll find all the answers at Swarthmore. 🙂