THE TOFU HUT

Friday, February 27, 2004

Those of you lately-come-johnnies may not be familiar (or care) about this part of our show. For the former, enjoy; for the latter, scrolling down now to the music might be a good idea.

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New Dave Elsewhere news: Son is in "You Got Served". I may have to rent that for a fast-forward marathon.
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Here's more b-boy love: Rippin' Richie at Pop and Lock has real style and even if the logic in breakdancin' for Jesus escapes me, this makes up for many sins.
"Would you like to see Santa bust a move again, kids?" "NOOOOOYENOYEEEEES!"
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Plus if you act now, you'll get some sick opening-act throat jive from Beatbox Effex.
I know it's long, but very much worth sitting all the way through... well, at least until the teenage girls come on.
Son sounds like Rahzel, no?
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"Far and away the most practical information regarding female anatomy I've run across in years."(via (appropriately) PISSRESORT)
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Lately, you can't turn on the news without hearing about the new profound, dramatic reimagining of the savage murder (and possible hinted resurrection?) of the one true saviour.
I'm talking, of course, about Luigi and Phantasmagoria Crow's flash animated Super Mario Bros. Saga.
Here's Parts 2 and 3.
They just keep getting better.
(via PENNYARCADE)
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MoreNintendohumour.
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Last one: Romscapes(via WAXY)
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Beautiful Agony might be the first porn site on the net to merit your (unironic) support. It comes with movies for any sexual orientation, is utterly without exploitation or humiliation (videos are submitted by the performer, often without intention of compensation) and there is absolutely no nudity... yet it still manages to be sexy as hell.
I think it's got a real future.
(via FLESHBOT)
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In any case, it sure does beat the Online Orgasm Simulator.
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And while we're on the topic: Wouldn't YOU like to "Never be without a girlfriend again"?
(via WAXY)
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Chaorin Kombat:
Before you even ask: I have no idea.
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It DOES exist:
Boy, I sure was excited about AvP when they first announced it...TWELVE YEARS AGO. Since then I've stopped seeing movies like this in the theater but I may have to make an exception for the holy grail.
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I think Quino is beautiful, "all your base" engrish and all.
(via PIXELSURGEON)
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Tardis TennisI can't make it work.
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The Blog of Death(via BIRIV)
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The Book Quiz:
Boy, generally I HATE these things but just this once I'll make an exception, because it flattered me.
Apparently, I'm Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera, which makes me roughly as cool as Elvis.
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Comix by Jorge Colombo-
86 clicks to a Happier, Healthier You-
Attack of the Honker:
Well, I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.
(via SNARKEY MALARKEY)
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"Desperate men do desperate things, and stupid men do stupid things. We are in for a desperately stupid summer." The good Doctor Hunter S. Thompson discusses the Superbowl and the president on ESPN.com.
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Robert:
"cannnndy....mmmmmm...come to me candy...float into my mouth... i just NEEDJA candycandycandycandy"
(via EVERLASTINGBLORT)
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Equal opportunity flash games for wheelchair bound athletes.
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EVERYBODY already knows this, but on the off chance you're totally uncool and nobody told you: here's the infamous Pepsi iTunes Hack. Now you can send those digits over to the Tune Recycler. It's a mitzvah.
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Did you ever wonder what it would be like to pop a water balloon in space?-
And just what the hell are we to make of Crazygirl?
If you think the animations are bad, wait till you hear the music.
(via FLESHBOT)
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Nothing's creepier than Singing Babies.
(via MARKMARTIN)
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Best for last, but let me be totally clear:
I normally loathe phoneprank gags, I _always_ hate cutesy radio DJ schtick (sorry Matt, that "Best Show" stuff leaves me cold) AND I find jokes at the expense of a Southern racist NASCAR fan unchallenging and unfunny.
That said: This is fucking hysterical.
Couldn't have been better if it had been staged.
Three words: Democrat ball sucker.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand on that note:

glisten

By popular demand (well, at least SOMEBODY'S demand), today at the Hut is dedicated to blues guitarist par excellence, Blind Willie McTell.

McTell's music is downright ethereally grimy; otherworldly in the truest sense for us 21st century space monkeys. Just the sound of a McTell track evokes another time, another way of seeing the world.

McTell was a vaudevillian performer, instilling each song with a very personal character. His rare skill was that he was capable of a very wide range of these characters: relentless bawd, hellfirebrimstone preacher, incorrigible flirt, wistful lost lover. This, combined with his unusually (for a bluesman) clean and clear diction, made him one of the blues great storytellers.

Willie was an American treasure. If you've never heard him before now, you're in for a hell of a treat.

Here's a few selections to get you started:

Blind Willie McTell - "God Don't Like It"

McTell was equally adept at blues, gospel, country, folk or novelty song. Ray Davis at Pseudopodium makes a convincing argument that McTell was actually a pop artist (and he posts an MP3 or two of our hero's work in the bargain). Here, McTell relinquishes center stage to a finger-waggin' harridan gone batshit accusing clergy and members of the flock of hypocrisy and 'shine drinking. I suppose ostensibly this is meant to be gospel but it veers pretty deeply into satire.
McTell's guitar on this track is just TOO friedchickenfunky.

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Blind Willie McTell - "Ain't It Grand To Be A Christian"

The female accompanist on both this and the previous track is Willie's wife, Kate McTell; a fascinating vocalist in her own right. Belligerent and quacky, Kate's voice should grate on the nerves, but it seems perfectly at home here; even beautiful.

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Blind Willie McTell - "Death Room Blues"

See now, THIS is blues. Willie's moans and drunken guitar give us a man weedling his way to a woeful early grave. McTell's falsetto squeals are pretty creepy too. When he says he "feels like moanin' and cryin'", you believe him.

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Blind Willie McTell - "Ticket Agent Blues"

I like the call and response between McTell and his wife. Bragadoccio at it's finest as McTell taunts his wife with tales of his irresistable manliness.

"I'm gon' FIND that one in Tennessee..."

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Blind Willie McTell - "Let Me Play With Yo' Yo-Yo"

This is the side of McTell that's most appealing to me: his blue stuff. Chockfulla double entendres and silliness, songs like "Yo' Yo-Yo" are sure crowd pleasers. And what an amiable guitar rhythm! You just wanna let the guy play with yo' yo-yo.

This is probably my favorite McTell song and the first one I remember hearing. Spectacular lyrics. My freshman year in high school, I used to play this for the upperclassmen to crack them up. It's just so darn DIRTY.

This is an alternate version of McTell's saga of wifebeating, slower and with cleaner diction and somewhat more psychotic for all that. I sort of prefer the original "Your Southern Can Is Mine", but that song is pretty easily accessible on any "best of"; this is harder to find.

As a bonus, here's the (prettydarngood) remake of this track by the White Stripes:

White Stripes - "Your Southern Can Is Mine"

Lately it's gotten to be hip to badmouth the Stripes now that they're popular.
I unabashedly love them.
They sound better than almost ANYBODY else in radio rock and manage to hold their own with pretty much anyone else period. Rock is not my strongest genre and it's rare that I even FIND a rock band I like enough to want to listen to an entire album, but the Stripes definitely fit that bill.

Calling them a "blues band" (or their music "blues") is crazy, though.

WANNA SEND ME STUFF?WANNA TALK? HOLLABACK@

A BRIEF DISCLAIMER

All MP3's are offered for a limited time and are for sampling purposes only. Music posted here is posted out of love, not with the intention for profit or to violate copyright. If you are the creator (or copyright owner) of a song, excerpt, essay, graphic or photo posted on this blog, please contact me at the email above if you want to comment on the selection or wish to have it removed. Please don't direct link to a track; it's rude. Delete all tracks after 24 hours. Don't get them wet. Don't feed them after midnight. If you can't download it, it's gone. No refills. Come early, come often, come correct.

One Last Thing

Although every effort has been made to verify the authenticity of the information contained in this blog, google journalism has its limits. As such, it is completely possible that you may find errors, statistical slips or outright garbage lies mixed in a few of these articles.
The author shouts mea culpa but implores you to contact him if you discover a mistake so that he can rectify the situation.
Similarly, please be aware that although I have visited all the sites cited, I cannot vouch for the veracity of the material (much less the politics) of my linkage.
Click at your own peril.Surf with a grain of salt handy.