Sad Bondage Trombone

by evanmcmurry

Charities are struggling under the weight of thousands of copies of the trilogy that no one in the country wants anymore. A spokesperson from WeBuyBooks.com described the ‘paper mountain’ of Fifty Shades books that threatens to engulf the whole of England. Rhona Coulter, Books Manager at Cancer Research UK told of the plight of her shop managers who have been victims of the floods of ‘hundreds of donations of Fifty Shades over the recent months’.

Remaining ever-professional and grateful for the donations received by the charity, Coulter said that, “We always welcome donations, but the secondary sales potential of the novels is a big problem”. Then she looked down and her eyes darkened*, and she uttered the four words that signalled the very end of the nation’s regrettable love affair, which had resulted only in trouble and queasy reading experiences, “Nobody wants it anymore.”