The Absence of Loneliness

I have a terrible habit of sinking into my pain. Instead of stretching further and affecting those around me, I fold it into a million pieces so it fits nicely into my chest. There it sits until I want to hold it up to the light. In the landscape of this hurt, I go into a state of what feels and acts like loneliness. A creation of my own that barricades me from the truth. And that truth, that sparkle in the distance, that small voice that speaks, I know will set me free. Because that is what truth does, it offers understanding, and understanding offers freedom.

When I was a child I began to write poetry. This venue offered a place for my hurt to land, and in a curated way, offered comfort. It wasn’t until I was an adult, and I shared my words with the world, that I realized I was never alone in my pain or confusion about this life’s journey. I began to write with a new purpose and inspiration. I wanted you to know that you, too, are not alone.

Those moments still sneak up on me. Grief will speak in words that will want me to once again hold it tightly to my chest. I bury my tears, my words, and my loneliness until it manifests in other ways that often create more damage. The power I hold today, is the ability to see it coming. Even in a space of alignment and balance, my humanity still comes into play.

The absence of loneliness is the foundation of my peace. I’ve come to the understanding that I need community, I need the reassurance of hope, the reminders to keep going despite the fear and pressure to hang on to the things that no longer serve me.

There is not just one solution to your pain, there are often many. I have found it’s a combination of intentional work that anchors me back in. Here are some powerful suggestions on how to navigate the space to your own absence of loneliness. Each one has proven inspiring and forward-moving for me.

Don’t believe that you’re the only one. You’re not, no matter how devastating that fact is, you’re not the only one who is going through what is hurting you. There is a community out there that will offer support and hope for you to move beyond the pain and into a new space of hope.

Know that you’re worthy of healing. No matter what you’ve been told or led to believe, you are absolutely and without a doubt worthy of abundance, peace, and balance. You’re worthy of all things that you desire. You are held to no lesser place to the Universe or the God of your own understanding, than any other soul. You are loved and supported equally and can create the abundance your heart craves.

Fill your cup, before you fill others. Self-care is not just necessary, it’s required. For you to be your best self and offer the best to others, you without a doubt need to be aligned physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This is NOT selfishness, it’s a requirement for our best selves to take front and center. I relied heavily on meditation/prayer, essential oils, moving my body (even when I didn’t want to), watching what I put into my body (organic and balanced meals), and connecting with others.

Intentionally work through your pain and grief. Intention is powerful and works much quicker to create balance and abundance than just allowing “time” to take it’s course. Be intentional in your healing! Step outside of your grief long enough to realize there is hope, and begin to create a better reality for yourself.

You have choices. Many are led to believe that choice has been removed in all shapes and forms, but in moments of true clarity you will realize there is a choice to make. The choices often start with living in a space of constant gratitude. This choice always leads to other choices revealing themselves. Letting go, holding on, walking away, staying, feeling joy, suffering… are all choices.

I made the choice to remove loneliness from my reality because it was painfully destructive. It was an intentional choice that was consciously made, and one I will continue to have to make. What are you faced with today, and what choices do you have to make?

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Jessica

Jessica Kristie is an award-winning author, a publisher, Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT), and advocate for social justice. She is deeply involved in her community, offers a variety of healing services, and is the builder of the intentional community, Soulshift Tribe.