Posts Tagged Relationships

Lori Gottlieb had a piece in the New York Times Magazine this weekend called “Does A More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?” By “equal marriage,” she means that “both spouses work and take care of the house and that the relationship is built on equal power, shared interests and friendship.” And aside from a few rather offensive generalizations about queer couples, she seems to mainly be talking about heterosexual relationships. The fact that her evidence is drawn mostly from anecdotes about her peers and her marriage therapy patients suggests they are mostly upper-middle class couples. Her answer to the question posed in the headline (which was surely written to make feminists like me click–ya ...

A few months ago, I received a Kickstarter perk for being a contributor to FORCE’s fundraising campaign. As someone deeply passionate about feminist, anti-sexual violence efforts, I was proud to be a supporter and was excited to not only get my perk, but to also share it with others in hopes to spread the word about an organization that does admirable work. While I was excited, I do remember having a small bit of hesitation sharing an image of the perk — it is underwear, after all — but I felt that the people in my networks would see why I would share this photo, so I did. In short, I felt safe in doing so. Unfortunately, I ...

A few months ago, I received a Kickstarter perk for being a contributor to FORCE’s fundraising campaign. As someone deeply passionate about feminist, anti-sexual violence efforts, I was proud to be a supporter and was excited ...

Popular reactions to Olivia Pope’s extramarital affair with white president Fitzgerald Grant reveal the (internal and external) racism of respectability politics and a sentiment of entitlement and control towards women of color’s sexuality.

Popular reactions to Olivia Pope’s extramarital affair with white president Fitzgerald Grant reveal the (internal and external) racism of respectability politics and a sentiment of entitlement and control towards women of color’s sexuality.

Platonic relationships between women have always been “suspect” in the general opinion. We can look back as far as the Salem witch trials, for example, to see exactly how dangerous it was in America for women to build sustainable relationships with one another without the supervision of men. Back then, women who were single, financially independent, involved in midwifery or other medical practices and/or spent too much time with other women were accused – and sometimes tried and convicted – of witchcraft. Even today, the myth persists that women are somehow not able to maintain healthy relationships (an idea that is fueled by the onslaught of reality television shows that show women hating each other). And if women have close ...

Platonic relationships between women have always been “suspect” in the general opinion. We can look back as far as the Salem witch trials, for example, to see exactly how dangerous it was in America for women to ...

I’m 25, and I identify as polyamorous. It’s an important identity for me because it helps me deconstruct and contextualize the relationships I’ve had in the past, and acknowledge the relationships that I currently have. A recent title by Julie Bindel, “Rebranding polyamory does women no favors”, caught my attention. It was a well informed piece that successfully conveyed Bindel’s skepticism with the practice’s newfound popularity. But as a young person, among other things, I had some serious issues.

Bindel makes her point early on when she asserts:

“…the co-opting and rebranding of polygamy, so that it loses its nasty association with the oppression of the most disadvantaged women, is as irresponsible as suggesting that because some women chose to ...

I’m 25, and I identify as polyamorous. It’s an important identity for me because it helps me deconstruct and contextualize the relationships I’ve had in the past, and acknowledge the relationships that I currently have. A recent ...

In response to all the “pickup artist” and “seduction” talk that’s going on in the wake of that super rapey Kickstarter project, I’ve written a piece at Thought Catalog about how guys can talk to other human beings – which is what women are – without being a negging, sexist ass. My first piece of advice? Don’t listen to pickup artists. A few more pointers:

Treat them the way you’d want to be treated. Sorry to go all Jesus on you, but pickup artists have left me no choice. They’re all about manipulating women into trusting you, and capitalizing on their various weaknesses (physical, emotional, social) to get them into bed. Something tells me you’d hate it ...

In response to all the “pickup artist” and “seduction” talk that’s going on in the wake of that super rapey Kickstarter project, I’ve written a piece at Thought Catalog about how guys can talk to ...

I love this brilliant reversal of all the Nice Guy whining about the how terrible the friend-zone is. It really gets to the heart of why I think complaints about the friend-zone are just so obnoxious. Even more than the sense of entitlement–that men are owed sex or a relationship for being “good guys”–it’s the idea that a real friendship with a woman couldn’t possibly be valuable in and of itself. Obviously, unreciprocated feelings always suck, but that is just straight-up sexist.

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite ...

You may have heard that, since people are living longer, and marrying, having kids, and establishing their careers later in life, 30 is the new 20. But, according to pyschologist Meg Jay, who “specializes” in 20–somethings, 30 is just 30. It is most definitely NOT the new 20. So, 30 year-olds who are unmarried….be afraid… be very afraid.

Jay recently gave a talk at TED–the nonprofit dedicated to “ideas worth spreading,” so brilliantly satirized by the Onion–which I listened to so you don’t have to. I will now present the top 10 highlights of this speech, my reaction as a member of the demographic (I’m 31) thoroughly shat upon by its deliverer, ...

You may have heard that, since people are living longer, and marrying, having kids, and establishing their careers later in life, 30 is the new 20. But, according to pyschologist Meg Jay, who “specializes” in 20Read More

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