“Those early days felt very slow. We were going to funerals every week. In retrospect I can look at it up here and see that it was quite fast, but when you are in the thick of the massacre you don’t see it like that. I felt it was going way to slow on all sides. We seemed to have to fight for everything … And it’s different for the generation that came after me, who have always had the drugs, but for those of us who are left we feel like the sky could fall at any time, we could run out of drugs at any time and we know what that looks like.”