Friday, December 21, 2012

Going Forward, Finally

Back in May I wrote a piece I called Beginning Again, For the First Time, wherein I expressed hopeful feelings about my future, and expected developments in my transition. Well, to make the long story short, spring became summer and eventually autumn, and no progress was made of any kind. At least not the kind intended. I think I've said before that depression is all kinds of fun, and I failed to treat mine in a responsible fashion. That is now in the past.

In November, I started attending the meetings of Transgender Tallahassee, the local support group. Later in the month, I went back to Apalachee Center to refill my scrips, and discovered that my case worker had retired. I got to meet my new case worker, and she immediately scheduled me to see a counselor. We've had two sessions, and I'm going back to see her next week.

In the midst of all this goodness, I lost my job. Yes, again. Back in October, a guest vaguely complained that I was "rude and unprofessional". I don't remember it that way, but the complaint came in the form of a guest survey, so the event generated a written warning and my working hours were slashed. After a couple of weeks of working two or three shifts, I was informed of more complaints and given the boot. I had about sixty seconds of dark, dark thinking, but I took a couple of deep breaths and kept going. I've registered with the local employment agency and have dropped applications and resumes at all of the hotels in the neighborhood of the old place. I've even applied at non-hotel jobs, because I need to work.

I think I understand the AA theory of taking things one day at a time.