I enjoyed the story but, in some chapters you put "Mrs." I believe she isn't married in this story, as then it should be Ms. other than that, it's really good for your first Fan-Fic. I'll be looking for more chapters ahead and I believe you will make this story work out. Have a splendid time writing this story as you have people who like your Fic. Continue on and Good-Bye.

Sincerely,

*** xx Rapid xx ***

alice chapter 4 . 4/21/2011

you should have moris family really talkative snd really quite maids that randomly apear seemingly out of no where when needed

and have moris little brother have a crush on haruhi and make it kinda akward when ever hes nearby