We Didn't Do It!

You can trust Major Industries when we say "We don't pollute".
But trust is hard to come by these days, which is why we have
437 lawsuits filed against our innocent company. After all, how can a company that makes fluffy widdle teddy bears do any bad things?

We've funded extensive scientific studies, conducted by the best scientists that money can buy. The facts are indisputable - Major Industries actually improves the environment!* So, are you going to believe our scientists and lawyers, or your own lying eyes?

*This claim based on a study by Nobel prize winning scientist Dewey Cheatem, P.H.D., in the journal Science, Not, titled "One Inch Carbon Steel Plate Dissolves in River next to Major Industries Factory". This study conclusively shows that it takes 5 minutes to dissolve a steel plate in the river by the factory—a full two minutes longer than it did five years ago!

Note: The company referenced in this
site, "Major Industries" is fictitious, and is not meant to
represent any company, public or private, now, in the past or future.