1) Does anyone believe West Coast can beat Hawthorn?

It’s hard to feign enthusiasm for a mild upset here. The Eagles just aren’t very good: they lost at home to North Melbourne for Pete’s sake. The Eagles should never do things like that and they’re 4-6 for a reason. Hawthorn on the other hand hardly set the world alight either in stumbling over the line against the Giants last Sunday, but given how banged-up they are it wasn’t a total disaster in Brendon Bolton’s first game in charge while Alastair Clarkson recovers from illness. A six-day break and a squad full of weary, creaking bones won’t help but you still get the feeling they’ll do enough.

The big hope for West Coast is that their forwards can expose Hawthorn’s current dearth of key defensive options but they also need to get it down there to give themselves a chance. The Eagles were convincingly beaten in the stoppages by North last week but also wasted the forward entries they did have; six goals from 52 inside-50s is pretty dire. Hawthorn’s only loss to West Coast in the last four years was an early-2012 nail-biter at Patersons and their last eight encounters against all comers at Aurora Stadium have been wins. On current form you’d think they’ll get the job done again on Saturday, even if it’s a close one.

2) Fremantle should get over the line against Adelaide … just

They’re a bit of an enigma this year, the Crows. Capable of sinking into a dire and depressing state against inferior sides, they also made a mockery of sensible footy tipping last week in easing to a 32-point win against the high-flying Gold Coast Suns. Less surprising was the fact that the win came as a result of Taylor Walker’s first big step towards reestablishing himself as their go-to forward. All of a sudden, a fired up Walker made Josh Jenkins look even better than we thought he was. Eddie Betts chipped in with goals, too. Adelaide finally looked like a proper football side and so they now sit in ninth spot and a much healthier position for a run at the finals than you might have predicted a month back.

It’s not all good news for Brenton Sanderson’s side though. This week they have to travel west to take on the rejuvenated Dockers, who come into this encounter off wins against Geelong and the Bulldogs. It’s probably going to be tight and low-scoring, and the influence of both Walker for the Crows and Matthew Pavlich for Freo will be as game-shaping as ever, because both these sides have midfield depth. Still, the Dockers have managed to rack up one of the most perverse statistical anomalies in the AFL this year; despite boasting the competition’s premier ruckman in Aaron Sandilands they sit second last in the league for centre clearances. What’s going on there?

This is toss of the coin stuff but if the likes of Dangerfield and Fyfe (if passed fit) can also shine, this will be an absorbing duel between two hungry sides.

3) Gold Coast have nothing to fear against Sydney

As Sydney has been dragged into another week of debate (most of it utter drivel, let’s be honest) about the cost of living allowance (COLA), I’ve found the most damaging by-product of the whole fracas has been the constant reminder that I want some soft drink. Is this some kind of subliminal marketing work? Coca-Cola did used to be huge sponsors of the league. It’s better than Icac I suppose; that just reminds me of the day in 1996 that I got splattered with bird shit at Waverley Park.

What’s definitely of more interest is that like so many occasions this year, the Gold Coast Suns face a highly-regarded opponent whom they could have a chance of beating. They were down in every area against the Crows last week where Sydney was just brutal in trouncing Geelong, but the Suns fear no-one at home. Not even Sydney according to Gary Ablett. It’d be their first league win against the Swans if they can pull it off and it’s got to happen sooner or later. Unlike a lot of sides, the Suns also have some tall defenders that may actually be able to handle Franklin and Tippett. They could even throw Karmichael Hunt into the fray this week. Remember that guy?

4) North should beat Richmond ... should

Is it crazy to think that even in a week of intriguing match-ups, this could be the game of the round? The Tigers are well off the pace now and despite Damien Hardwick’s slightly delusional media appearances, the only thing they have left to play for is pride. A team with nothing to lose – one mired in an endless series of crises and plummets into ignominy, is exactly the kind of team that North Melbourne don’t want to come up against right now. Riding high on that Patersons Stadium touch-up they gave West Coast, it’s these ones that they should win that they often don’t. This has ‘Gold Coast Round Six’ written all over it. Or is this the point at which the Roos finally take a step forward and start being taken seriously? Touted as a top four side during the pre-season, they’ve been slow off the mark.

By every statistical measurement North should win. They usually handle the Tigers well at Etihad Stadium and the reason they’re inside the eight and Richmond are 13th is because they’re a better side. The Tigers were woeful against Essendon last week in a shambolic, craven and infuriating performance. Restoring pride here will be a monumental effort and ultimately won’t mean much in the context of this season of woe, but their best hope now is to spoil the fun for genuine finals aspirants like North.

The return of Andrew Swallow has given North a huge boost in recent weeks and he was back to his best against West Coast. The biggest bonus for Victorian footy fans is that with a public holiday on Monday, the Sunday night scheduling of this game makes perfect sense for once.

5) A competitive Queen’s Birthday clash

Let’s be honest, the annual Queen’s Birthday clash between Melbourne and Collingwood has hardly been the stuff of myth and legend over the years, but that actually works in its favour. There’s none of the questionable conjuring of the Anzac Spirit and syrupy war-themed montages we get drowned in for the Pies’ marquee clash with Essendon each year. There’s something winningly humble about it all. It’s like that terrible takeaway place that you keep going back to because the owners are nice.

Last week we half-expected that the Dees would put up a fight against ladder-leaders Port and that is exactly what they did. They’re tougher, they’re hungry and they’re a lot more polished than at nearly any point in the last five years, so the Pies can’t rest on their laurels. Collingwood have performed well above expectations this year, especially given an unkind run with personnel issues. This week they lose Steele Sidebottom to suspension and Nick Maxwell to injury. Travis Cloke managed five goals in a relative return to form last week, but being that it was against the flimsy St Kilda defence it’s hard to know whether you should read too much into that.

At the very least we can hold out hope that the Dees get somewhere close to their efforts in the drawn fixture of 2010, during Channel Ten’s thankfully short-lived reign when we were treated like children and not allowed to see how much time was left on the clock. Even if it’s a dud game, you get Monday off and there’s footy on, so quit yer yappin’.

WARNING: This video contains scenes of Cale Morton playing football that may be distressing to Melbourne fans.