As commented before by me a thousand times (there's nothing I like talking about more than myself, of course) I am an incredible artist. I was actually going to study it in university but I thought I'd show everyone else up so I went with a more traditional course.

However, on this first of April, I thought I would show off my talent and get the praise I frankly deserve. I am taking requests for today and today only and will try and get through as many of them as I can.

A bit of background about my artistic history: I use pen because I find I never make mistakes so it would be a waste to use graphite. Anyone who does use a pencil, I consider a chump.

I hope my talent makes your day a whole lot brighter 🙂 x

Picture 1:

One of my favourite shoots the Fabs did, at Lyall Mews, looking all posh and bowler hat-y.

WowWhat wonderful talent, ASJ! You captured them so realistically and in such great detail, yet expressed only the abstract and complex elements of their personalities and souls. Their eyes demand to be stared into and the detail in their stances bring a most lifelike quality to the artwork. I'm thoroughly impressed, and, I have to admit, very much made envious and intimidated by your great skill.

I have never known such a master was in my midst all this time

TL;DR: 12/10

I will grab my favorite Beatley photo now and post it here in the hopes that you will replicate it for me in your elegant style so that I can frame it and hang it on my bedroom wall

The following people thank lovelyritametermaid for this post:

AppleScruffJunior, Beatlebug, Getbackintheussr, WeepingAtlasCedars

"....When I cannot sing my heart, I can only speak my mind...."

"....This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around...."

#BlackLivesMatter

AppleScruffJunior

Sitting here doing nothing but procrastinating...

Posts: 7190

1 April 2020 - 9.19am

3

Thank you so much hun <3 x . I've spent years refining my talent so it's so great to be appreciated on here.

The following people thank AppleScruffJunior for this post:

lovelyritametermaid, Beatlebug, Getbackintheussr, WeepingAtlasCedars

INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

meanmistermustard

Here when I am. Not when I am not.

Posts: 23186

1 April 2020 - 9.48am

4

Quite incredible. I know what I don't like but not what I do so my indifference only speaks volumes for your talent.

I would post a picture but the image would only pale in significance to what it is you eventually create.

That's it, I'm hanging up my pencil for good. No longer will I attempt to aim for artistic heights knowing that my greatest efforts could only bring me to the base of your monumental talent for detail and uncannily lifelike accuracy. After seeing your art, I have lost all will to create visually and will now focus on the vastly more achievable task of becoming the next Hendrix. I must thank you for gracing us all with your inordinate skill and helping me to realize where my true strengths lie, or rather where they don't.

We have a way of saving our own lives
New to Forumpool? You can introduce yourself here.

AppleScruffJunior

Sitting here doing nothing but procrastinating...

Posts: 7190

1 April 2020 - 10.30am

8

I did fear that my superiority would make others throw back their (as previously stated) inferior pencils and paintbrushes. While I do wish you to continue your art, I must agree with your statement that I am a God
when it comes to art.

I just got off the phone from an art dealer from the Louvre who saw my above drawing and was offering me €2,225,000 for it. I said I'd think about it because I've had interest from other buyers.

The following people thank AppleScruffJunior for this post:

lovelyritametermaid, Beatlebug, WeepingAtlasCedars

INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

Getbackintheussr

The Void

Posts: 1311

1 April 2020 - 10.46am

9

I think my eyes have been burned by your pure talent.

The following people thank Getbackintheussr for this post:

lovelyritametermaid, AppleScruffJunior, Beatlebug, WeepingAtlasCedars

P E A C E & L O V E

Without going out of my door, I can know all things on Earth...

~~

AppleScruffJunior

Sitting here doing nothing but procrastinating...

Posts: 7190

1 April 2020 - 11.01am

10

Make sure to send your requests in folks, I'm sharing my talent with you for one day only.

INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

50yearslate

Playing on the roofs again

Posts: 8584

1 April 2020 - 11.04am

11

If you draw my avatar I'll give you one of my kidneys-- right or left, your choice.

Love one another.

- - -

(I'm Fiddy, not Walrian)

- - -

2018:2019:

AppleScruffJunior

Sitting here doing nothing but procrastinating...

Posts: 7190

1 April 2020 - 11.14am

12

Will do it this evening 🙂 And I choose right.

INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

AppleScruffJunior

Sitting here doing nothing but procrastinating...

Posts: 7190

1 April 2020 - 1.04pm

13

50yearslate said
If you draw my avatar I'll give you one of my kidneys-- right or left, your choice.

Ask and you shall receive,

the original photo for posterity:

My Mona Lisa:

The following people thank AppleScruffJunior for this post:

lovelyritametermaid

INTROVERTS UNITE! Separately....in your own homes!

***

Make Love, Not Wardrobes!

***

"Stop throwing jelly beans at me"- George Harrison

meanmistermustard

Here when I am. Not when I am not.

Posts: 23186

1 April 2020 - 1.12pm

14

Seeing how much your art is making money-side, I want in. Forget pleasantries and fawning, I want an easy fortune and this is clearly the way to go. I'll invest £3.50 in you and all you create for 15% of all future earnings and sales. I'll also start an amazon account to send you packs of bic pens so you never run out, think of Aunt Jessie and the spaghetti. I'm not paying for them, I'll just set up the account. They are your pens after all !!! I'm spending hard cash here upfront (payable in 8 to 10 working months).

meanmistermustard said
Seeing how much your art is making money-side, I want in. Forget pleasantries and fawning, I want an easy fortune and this is clearly the way to go. I'll invest £3.50 in you and all you create for 15% of all future earnings and sales. I'll also start an amazon account to send you packs of bic pens so you never run out, think of Aunt Jessie and the spaghetti. I'm not paying for them, I'll just set up the account. They are your pens after all !!! I'm spending hard cash here upfront (payable in 8 to 10 working months).

After consulting with my solicitor, we both consider this a generous offer and I am willing to offer you 13% of my company in exchange for £5. If I can return your £5 pound with interest within the next 3 years, I will also be able to buy back your 13% stake in ASJ's ASJ.

Will you do me the honor of recreating this picture....I may not deserve its beauty, but it will be the one joy brought into my little life

The following people thank lovelyritametermaid for this post:

AppleScruffJunior, Beatlebug, WeepingAtlasCedars

"....When I cannot sing my heart, I can only speak my mind...."

"....This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around...."

#BlackLivesMatter

50yearslate

Playing on the roofs again

Posts: 8584

1 April 2020 - 1.42pm

18

AIEEE! I’M BLIND! I’M BLIND! It was simply too perfect.

The following people thank 50yearslate for this post:

AppleScruffJunior, lovelyritametermaid, Beatlebug, WeepingAtlasCedars

Love one another.

- - -

(I'm Fiddy, not Walrian)

- - -

2018:2019:

meanmistermustard

Here when I am. Not when I am not.

Posts: 23186

1 April 2020 - 1.51pm

19

AppleScruffJunior said

meanmistermustard said

Seeing how much your art is making money-side, I want in. Forget pleasantries and fawning, I want an easy fortune and this is clearly the way to go. I'll invest £3.50 in you and all you create for 15% of all future earnings and sales. I'll also start an amazon account to send you packs of bic pens so you never run out, think of Aunt Jessie and the spaghetti. I'm not paying for them, I'll just set up the account. They are your pens after all !!! I'm spending hard cash here upfront (payable in 8 to 10 working months).

After consulting with my solicitor, we both consider this a generous offer and I am willing to offer you 13% of my company in exchange for £5. If I can return your £5 pound with interest within the next 3 years, I will also be able to buy back your 13% stake in ASJ's ASJ.

This is my final offer.

£3 for 17% but with an additional packet of pickled onion Monster Munch. I am willing to move to roast beef flavour but that would mean 21%.

"I told you everything I could about me, Told you everything I could" ('Before Believing' - Emmylou Harris)

AppleScruffJunior

Sitting here doing nothing but procrastinating...

Posts: 7190

1 April 2020 - 2.48pm

20

meanmistermustard said
Seeing how much your art is making money-side, I want in. Forget pleasantries and fawning, I want an easy fortune and this is clearly the way to go. I'll invest £3.50 in you and all you create for 15% of all future earnings and sales. I'll also start an amazon account to send you packs of bic pens so you never run out, think of Aunt Jessie and the spaghetti. I'm not paying for them, I'll just set up the account. They are your pens after all !!! I'm spending hard cash here upfront (payable in 8 to 10 working months).

Here is a photo so your abilities do not suffer idleness.

I took some creative licence but an artist like me is always allowed that:

The Bowie Bible

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