Talking to My Kids About Fame and (Mis)Fortune

How to discuss celebrity deaths, drug addiction, anger management, and more of the dark side of fame with your children.

I'll happily admit that my kids are pretty sheltered. We're always game to discuss politics and actual news in our house; however, I don't need my kids knowing every last horrifying piece of celebrity nonsense.

We don't have cable, and our kids' Internet usage is closely monitored. Our oldest two are almost eleven, and we know we can't control everything they see and hear. Their peers will watch the Grammys and talk about Chris Brown and Rihanna. But we can, at least, give them a frame of reference. We can talk to them about news stories with a measure of respect.

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The sad news of Whitney Houston's death was reported by news sites (and quasi-news sites) with a poorly-disguised, vulture-like glee. Whatever her cause of death, it is heartrending that a 48-year-old mom has passed away. That should not be glossed over.

So when we talk to our kids about Ms. Houston's death, we frame it that way: She was a mom. She was a talented singer. I don't know why she died, but I do know that she battled drug addiction for a long time. The news of her death is an opportunity to talk to our kids about drug use, and how drugs can and do destroy lives—even the lives of those with truly remarkable God-given talents.

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The hubbub over Chris Brown at the Grammys is even more disturbing. Buzzfeed noted a trend on Twitter of young women swooning "he can hit me any time." That's disturbing, disgusting, and not even remotely funny. If my kids are going to hear about Chris Brown at the Grammys, they're also going to hear that this was not an ordinary "comeback story."

No doubt, many of the young women who tweeted their admiration of Chris Brown have younger siblings. I don't care if those words were said in jest or seriousness; I know how a fifth grader is going to hear them. I also know that fifth graders like to impress each other with their coolness and knowledge of pop culture.

And I know that in the midst of discussing Squinkie collections, this week's episode of iCarly, and next week's field trip, someone on the playground is going to say, "Chris Brown is so hot. He can beat me any time."

Do I want to get into the sordid details of domestic violence with my kids? No. But should they know that domestic violence exists, is a real problem, is unacceptable, and is nothing to joke about? Yes. And that's why I'm not going to shield them from the bitter truth when it's necessary.

Joslyn Gray is the author of the humor blog stark. raving. mad. mommy. She writes about parenting four fabulous, hilarious kids with a quirky mix of autism, ADHD, and anxiety.