.The internet has met its match.

Monday, 15 March 2010

What is a Relationship?

While at the gym, I ran into a longtime friend who dished on his
dating woes. He was saying that all the guys that he’s been dating
develop deeper feelings for him than he from them. “I’m not looking
for anything serious, at least not from him!” He says that he was
upfront with them but he also admitted that these men would sleepover
and he would cook and they would have a grand all time but the next
day each person would retreat to his corner. No “baby” this or
“sweetie” that and no daily hour long conversations. But what if
sleepovers and cooking isn’t part of the casual dating equation for
some but rather a road leading to commitment? This conversation left
me wondering, what defines a relationship?Aside from the verbal
declaration of a commitment how do you know what classifies dating and
what’s turning into a relationship? Where do you draw the line?

According to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, a commitment is :

1 a: an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1): a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2): an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b:mittimus2 a: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially: an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>

I think that often we go into a dating situation with the idea “we’ll
see how this goes.” You invest your time and you are your wonderful
self all along the process but then there comes a point where one of
you needs direction.“Where is this going?” and “What are we?” starts
to creep up in your mind. This point is where the conversation needs
to happen and I think that this the only point that would define a
relationship. No matter how far and beyond you go for the man that
does not establish a commitment but it’s the conversation that you
have. A relationship is not defined by actions but by a mutual, verbal
agreement between both parties. So no matter if you spend everyday
together and talk all day everyday, that a commitment does not make.

I suggest following the Merriam-Webster definition to avoid any confusion and limit the heartache.