How is everyone dealing/coping with the attention that comes with weight loss?

I know personally, its been weird for me. Sometimes I feel happy when people compliment me, but other times, I feel horrible because I think to myself, no one treated me this well before. No one went out of their way to say, "I like your shirt." or "your nail polish is lovely." Now, I get compliments all the time on everything, not just my weight. Was I so disgusting before that people didn't look at my nail polish, or my fat clothes weren't cute? I'm ashamed of how bad I let myself get. I'm ashamed....

I totally get you on this. I think we've all got a double-dip of self-loathing & regret that we need to work through. I was fortunate, though. I often got compliments on my clothes (I love bright colors/patterns) or my nail polish, or my Day of the dead facepaint for Halloween, or whatever. Maybe it's a Southern thing?

I totally get you on this. I think we've all got a double-dip of self-loathing & regret that we need to work through. I was fortunate, though. I often got compliments on my clothes (I love bright colors/patterns) or my nail polish, or my Day of the dead facepaint for Halloween, or whatever. Maybe it's a Southern thing?

Thanks for the response. I think we'd be great friends in real life O&D. I'm glad I can call you one here.

Thanks, Ash. I feel like that too, or actually more like you're my "other" daughter

Btw, has your husband gotten better at compliments?

I'd be okay with that too!

No, not really, he's unchanged. I guess he's just not the complimenting type. I didn't deserve them before, but now that I do, I notice more. But my sister gave me some good advice, she said to increase my compliments to him, and see if that prompts them in return. I'm about a week into this experiment.

No, not really, he's unchanged. I guess he's just not the complimenting type. I didn't deserve them before, but now that I do, I notice more. But my sister gave me some good advice, she said to increase my compliments to him, and see if that prompts them in return. I'm about a week into this experiment.

That's a good approach. Especially if he doesn't compliment others, either. Maybe he just didn't grow up hearing a lot of compliments and just thinks they're "fluff". He might think differently once he realizes how nice it is to receive them. Good luck!

I dunno...I think sometimes people are just misguided. Maybe they figure....well, shite, she's gone through all the touble of surgery to look hot, it must be important to her...I'd better acknowledge it?

Wheels within wheels. People and communication are an imperfect pairing sometimes.

That said....there is no shortage of stupid or shallow people on the planet.

The good news...is that there's no shortage of brilliant and deep and introspective and compassionate and fun and wonderful either:)

I dunno...I think sometimes people are just misguided. Maybe they figure....well, shite, she's gone through all the touble of surgery to look hot, it must be important to her...I'd better acknowledge it?

Wheels within wheels. People and communication are an imperfect pairing sometimes.

That said....there is no shortage of stupid or shallow people on the planet.

The good news...is that there's no shortage of brilliant and deep and introspective and compassionate and fun and wonderful either:)

I try to take their compliments for what they are, and leave it at that. Sometimes it's genuine.

Here's the problem Ash....you're freaking gorgeous and maybe you're realizing that more than you used to. Mortal men cannot resist. Can you really blame them?

Thank you, I appreciate that! I have gotten a little more attention in the man department recently. There was a bar tender asked for my phone number, and I literally turned around to see who he was talking to. I probably looked like an idiot. Made me feel good. Now, if I could just get my husband to notice SMH, lol. I'm working on that too!

I really have not noticed any new or different level of attention but it is probably my age. I am surrounded by people who are genuine, real friends and those people have always been complimentary and supportive to me. Even though I gained A LOT of weight in the past 5 years no one has mentioned that either. People that know about the surgery ask me how I am feeling and tell me I am looking good which is appreciated by me.

My husband is my biggest supporter and literally every day he takes me in his arms in a hug and runs his hands up and down saying how much he can tell I am losing weight and "getting my curves back" which is nice.

My husband is my biggest supporter and literally every day he takes me in his arms in a hug and runs his hands up and down saying how much he can tell I am losing weight and "getting my curves back" which is nice.

Recent Status Updates

Woohoo!!!
I had my VSG surgery on Thursday, 11/15...
Some of the things I've learned in the last couple days:
Applesauce is the devils food. (It's the only thing that's made me vomit so far).
Getting enough fluid/protein in is a challenge... Any tips?
(I'm vegetarian, so bone broth is out...)

Walking has always been my favorite form of exercise, short of swimming, but it is now a necessity... get that gas OUT!

& I LOVE nurses!! I was in intense pain post-op & the nurses were amazing.. they were amazing throughout my short stay.
(& they are the only people on the planet that can tell you: "I can hear your intestines moving!" & make it sound like: "& the Oscar goes to...") :D

Thanks to everyone on here who has helped get this journey started.
I'm incredibly excited for the next phases moving forward! :)

I'm struggling a little. My younger sister wants to go out to a buffet for Thanksgiving so no one has to cook and stress. While I appreciate her sentiment, I also don't want to pay $65 a head (4 ppl in my family) especially since I can't eat much AND buffets are so difficult to deal with overeating. I told my sister after thinking about it that buffets aren't okay for me. She seemed to understand, but was disappointed. Am I being selfish by not going along with the plan? I purchased a turkey to cook and I can make sides that are bariatric friendly. Sigh, this one is bothering me. I might be emotionally low right now because my dog passed away recently and that is contributing to my thinking.

Sorry about your pup. That's a real grief you need to allow yourself to express.

So $65 for each person is hefty. We couldn't afford that for TG for 4. But buffets don't freak me. I wouldn't even pay--just sneak a bite or two off a plate here or there. No biggie. But doing a restaurant or keeping food simple is also what works for most.

Sorry you're having a tough time about the upcoming holiday. Remember, our joy will mostly be with being with those we love.

Yes, that $65 is super steep. You'd really be paying $260 for 3 people to eat and you to watch. Yikes! And I'm sure they wouldn't let you in without paying. Maybe just beg your sis to put it off until next year when you might be able to enjoy it too? I mean, honestly, you've already got the darn turkey. You're still a work in progress and you sure don't want to throw up in the restaurant. Maybe thinking about it that way will help your sister understand. By next Thanksgiving, you'll be far more sure of what you can handle and what you can't.

Taking care of yourself is also OK--better than OK!--and if you're offering to cook, that means your sister doesn't have to cook or stress, which is kind of what she was after, anyway? So you don't need to feel bad about this.

I can definitely imagine going to a buffet again, even though I don't eat much, but we're talking, like $10 Indian lunch buffet, not $65 (holy crap) Thanksgiving buffet! And I'll probably always favor non-buffets, since not eating part of my meal immediately just means I get to enjoy it later on (or my spouse does). It feels like less pressure, or something.

Anyway, I'm babbling. I think you're doing the right thing, here. I hope your sister is cool about it.

I am slowly, s-l-o-w-l-y, learning in my old age that you don't always have to do everything for everyone else and that it is ok to take care of your own needs first. $260 is a lot to spend for a family of 4 to eat without any leftovers, especially when one person can barely eat anything. Maybe next year you can do the buffet, or maybe your sister and her family can go out to a buffet, and you and your kids can have dinner, and then everyone meets up later for board games and football or something. Focus on some fun post-meal activities. I'm skipping Thanksgiving this year because I am on liquids, which means my mom won't attend either (her choice, she doesn't want to go without me). She is ok with that, but I feel guilty about ruining her holiday. I made my peace with it because I realized that skipping this one Thanksgiving to have surgery earlier this month means that I will hopefully be healthier, live longer and have more Thanksgivings in my future.