BITS & PIECES

Western fans will approve of ‘Lone Ranger'

By Emory SchleyColumnist

Published: Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 6:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Monday, July 15, 2013 at 4:01 p.m.

I have been reading some pretty negative reviews of Disney's “The Lone Ranger” lately, and I even read that the bean-counters are predicting it will lose around $150 million. It reportedly cost $225 million to produce. And then there's the matter of that weirdly-painted face on Johnny Depp's Tonto, and that ridiculous looking dead bird atop his head. I think that may be turning potential viewers off — but not to worry, it all comes together quite nicely.

I can see where people can get the wrong idea about this movie, and I, myself, bought my ticket and took my seat in the auditorium with a very low level of expectation.

The movie does force you to abandon all those Clayton Moore-Jay Silverheels concepts of what the Lone Ranger and Tonto represent, but if you can get over that hurdle, you'll find this is a funny movie, chock-full of excitement, well-acted, well-directed and as entertaining as anything I've seen on the big screen in quite some time.

It is an action-adventure film for sure, and the producers spared no money on the telling of the story. Tonto is no “sidekick” accessory in this story, in fact, the story seems to be more about him than the guy in the mask, portrayed by Armie Hammer. But that's OK, too. The Lone Ranger is depicted as a gun-averse, law-strictly-by-the-book Easterner type of guy without the macho character needed for survival in this grimy Old West environment, and the story is as much about the evolution of his thinking and maturing into a bad guy's most-dreaded nemesis as it is about bringing black-hatted vermin to justice.

The crowd at the theater was mostly an elderly group, very few young faces, but the attendees were obviously enjoying this movie as much as I was. It's 2½ hours long, but it was fast-paced enough it didn't seem that long at all. That just demonstrates how good this movie really is.

If you like Westerns — and you like to laugh — then don't miss this one.

And if the message gets out to enough people, perhaps those prophets of doom for the movie's box-office take will take a second look in their crystal balls and we can look forward to a sequel one of these days.

“Hi-yo, Silver! Away!” (You'll LOVE Tonto's response to that classic line, which brought peals of laughter from the audience!)

Forget about what the “all-knowing” critics say and take a chance. Trust me — you'll like it!

KEEPING TRACK: Ocala's Nancy Browall sent in a tip she found on Facebook. She wrote: “If your little one wanders, you may want to take note of this, a brilliant way to create ‘If lost, call (your number here)' temporary tattoos to protect your kiddos at fairs, amusement parks, large malls, etc.

“All you need is a Sharpie and liquid Band-Aid. Simply write the message on your child's arm, then cover it with liquid skin to protect it. The child will think he/she is in the height of fashion with their very own ‘tattoo.' ”

ONGOING TALE: Today we kick off a 10-episode short story of about 1,000 words total that will run each Tuesday until mid-September. The story will be written entirely by readers of this column, with minimal editing. Anyone can enter an installment, just keep it to 100 words or less, and it must be received by me at the email address at the end of the column by 6 p.m. Thursday. Somewhere along the way, the story has to include mention of the I-75 Land Bridge, Citizens' Circle in downtown Ocala and a painted horse statue. They do not necessarily have to be key elements of the story. That's up to the writers.

Here is the beginning of the story, written by Cindy Bryan of Ocala:

***

Janie punched the snooze alarm, but thought about being late for work again and got out of bed. She put on her robe and slippers and went outside to get the newspaper.

Heading down the front steps, she stopped in her tracks. In her front yard stood a painted horse, in fact the same one she had seen yesterday in front of her lawyer's office.

“I must be dreaming,” she said.

She picked up the paper and turned to go back inside. That's when she saw the message scrawled across her front door, “Be at Citizens' Circle at noon.”

***

OK, readers, your turn — 100 words or less by 6 p.m. Thursday. Send it to me at the email address below and put “STORY” in the subject line.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you usually follow the ongoing tales published periodically in this column?

Send comments to slyguy73@gmail.com and include your FULL name and town. This column appears each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and online at ocala.com.

<p>I have been reading some pretty negative reviews of Disney's “The Lone Ranger” lately, and I even read that the bean-counters are predicting it will lose around $150 million. It reportedly cost $225 million to produce. And then there's the matter of that weirdly-painted face on Johnny Depp's Tonto, and that ridiculous looking dead bird atop his head. I think that may be turning potential viewers off — but not to worry, it all comes together quite nicely.</p><p>I can see where people can get the wrong idea about this movie, and I, myself, bought my ticket and took my seat in the auditorium with a very low level of expectation.</p><p>The movie does force you to abandon all those Clayton Moore-Jay Silverheels concepts of what the Lone Ranger and Tonto represent, but if you can get over that hurdle, you'll find this is a funny movie, chock-full of excitement, well-acted, well-directed and as entertaining as anything I've seen on the big screen in quite some time.</p><p>It is an action-adventure film for sure, and the producers spared no money on the telling of the story. Tonto is no “sidekick” accessory in this story, in fact, the story seems to be more about him than the guy in the mask, portrayed by Armie Hammer. But that's OK, too. The Lone Ranger is depicted as a gun-averse, law-strictly-by-the-book Easterner type of guy without the macho character needed for survival in this grimy Old West environment, and the story is as much about the evolution of his thinking and maturing into a bad guy's most-dreaded nemesis as it is about bringing black-hatted vermin to justice.</p><p>The crowd at the theater was mostly an elderly group, very few young faces, but the attendees were obviously enjoying this movie as much as I was. It's 2½ hours long, but it was fast-paced enough it didn't seem that long at all. That just demonstrates how good this movie really is.</p><p>If you like Westerns — and you like to laugh — then don't miss this one.</p><p>And if the message gets out to enough people, perhaps those prophets of doom for the movie's box-office take will take a second look in their crystal balls and we can look forward to a sequel one of these days.</p><p>“Hi-yo, Silver! Away!” (You'll LOVE Tonto's response to that classic line, which brought peals of laughter from the audience!)</p><p>Forget about what the “all-knowing” critics say and take a chance. Trust me — you'll like it!</p><p><b>KEEPING TRACK</b>: Ocala's <b>Nancy Browall</b> sent in a tip she found on Facebook. She wrote: “If your little one wanders, you may want to take note of this, a brilliant way to create 'If lost, call (your number here)' temporary tattoos to protect your kiddos at fairs, amusement parks, large malls, etc.</p><p>“All you need is a Sharpie and liquid Band-Aid. Simply write the message on your child's arm, then cover it with liquid skin to protect it. The child will think he/she is in the height of fashion with their very own 'tattoo.' ”</p><p><b>ONGOING TALE</b>: Today we kick off a 10-episode short story of about 1,000 words total that will run each Tuesday until mid-September. The story will be written entirely by readers of this column, with minimal editing. Anyone can enter an installment, just keep it to 100 words or less, and it must be received by me at the email address at the end of the column by 6 p.m. Thursday. Somewhere along the way, the story has to include mention of the I-75 Land Bridge, Citizens' Circle in downtown Ocala and a painted horse statue. They do not necessarily have to be key elements of the story. That's up to the writers.</p><p>Here is the beginning of the story, written by <b>Cindy Bryan</b> of Ocala:</p><p><center>***</center></p><p>Janie punched the snooze alarm, but thought about being late for work again and got out of bed. She put on her robe and slippers and went outside to get the newspaper.</p><p>Heading down the front steps, she stopped in her tracks. In her front yard stood a painted horse, in fact the same one she had seen yesterday in front of her lawyer's office.</p><p>“I must be dreaming,” she said.</p><p>She picked up the paper and turned to go back inside. That's when she saw the message scrawled across her front door, “Be at Citizens' Circle at noon.” </p><p><center>***</center></p><p>OK, readers, your turn — 100 words or less by 6 p.m. Thursday. Send it to me at the email address below and put “STORY” in the subject line.</p><p><b>QUESTION OF THE DAY</b>: Do you usually follow the ongoing tales published periodically in this column?</p><p><i>Send comments to slyguy73@gmail.com and include your FULL name and town. This column appears each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and online at ocala.com.</i></p>