LC forever changed the world in many ways — and by many ways, I mean, like, one way. Maybe two. Most notably, I’m talking about elaborate promposals which eventually led to elaborate homecoming…posals? By college, we sort of get over expecting some display for every invitation to formal, but we still hope for something a little sweet. At least, we won’t stop baking cakes and providing gift baskets when we ask our men until they get the hint.

Today, we stumble upon the greatest formal invitation of all time. Student Isaac Jordan put an ad up on Craigslist in New Orleans looking for a formal date. Behold.

Like drinking?

Yes!

Partying with college kids?

Umm…I don’t know. Not really, but that’s just because I’m old. Let’s pretend I’m also a college student. Yes!

Hell, maybe you just need a ride to Florida. I’m looking for a date to join me for a weekend of fraternity debauchery and fun at Panama City Beach.

Wait. Are you suggesting I hitchhike with you to a far away land, but not before going to formal with you, where you’ll likely try to sleep with me and then leave me there? Who just “needs a ride” to Florida. Who the hell are you looking for, guy?

Come party on the sand with me and 120 fellow drunk degenerates.

Are all the drunk degenerates dudes or are there 60 dudes and 60 dates? That makes a difference. But besides that, you, sir Isaac, could have a job in marketing, because I am SOLD. When is formal? Will you pick me up? I obviously don’t have a car as I can’t figure out how to get myself to Florida without you.

Ladies, you better snap this up before I do. Feast your eyes on Casanova.

But what’s the catch? Here’s an absolute dreamboat reaching out to you or literally any other woman in the world from Craigslist. He seems to have it all. And then he lays this on you.

I don’t do hard drugs but I enjoy a good threesome 😀

I’m going to admit, I’m really upset there won’t be drugs in our life and/or weekend together. I’m equally upset by the smiley face. But I suppose we might be able to make it work. I’d do anything for a good threesome. Ya clown..

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co