After 6 years of marriage, my husband's Muscular Dystrophy diagnosis and subsequent physical decline, my gastric bypass surgery, depression, and apparent infertility, this is where I find my new normal.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Hurting

I will recap the reunion weekend soon but I have something else rolling around in my brain and I need to sort it out. The reunion was fun and the trip home was fast. I am exhausted.

What has been rolling around in my brain…what I cannot stop thinking about is Loud Girl laughing and clapping and cheering with Manager about the“good news” they can celebrate in addition to her new job. Bob has said that it is possible they were talking about something else. While it is possible, I think it is highly improbable. The timing was all too convenient. I got the call from my new boss offering me the job. Then she wanted to talk to Manager and work out the detailsabout how much notice I need and my end date here before starting at New Department. Once Manager hung up the phone, she talked to Loud Girl in hushed tones and then Loud Girl began her crowing and celebrating. I have to say that it hurt then and it hurts now. It hurts because this means Manager has been confiding in Loud Girl about me and apparently her confidences haven’t been favorable. It hurts because Manager was supposed to be a safe person for me. It hurts because Loud Girl has never been a safe person for me and in fact has felt more like an enemy. It hurts because I didn’t want to be“that person”. You know, that person that brings calamity and pain to their work environment. That person that causes eye rolls and sighs of impatience and frustration from her co-workers. Apparently I am that person to Loud Girl and Manager and who knows who else. It just hurts. And it hurts because my boss has befriended and confided in the one person who hates me about the things she dislikes about me. This gives Loud Girl more fodder to hate in me. I am considering talking to an HR representative about this. It doesn’t seem right that my boss should get to confide in anyone not her superior about me. For sure I will be discussing it with my counselor today.

4 comments:

First of all, congratulations on getting the new position! Yay for you!

I think you should talk to your manager before you go any further. Tell her, in your best un-emotional words what you believe to have happened. If you understood the situation correctly - the least she owes you is an apology. If it was something else, that's even better and you will know.

As far as that "woman" goes - who cares? Do you think she won't move right on to another person, making them miserable and uncomfortable as soon as you leave the department? She sure will because she is nasty and that is the way nasty people act. Being evil is so much easier than looking inward and actually seeing the ugliness that they harbor.

It's almost impossible I know but please just ignore her for the rest of the time there. She is unworthy of your time.

Don't take the pettiness of this work enviroment with you to the new place. You're a bigger person, and not deserving of that kind of behavior and you are rising above it and changing your future with the company. Poo to them! I know it hurts, but you are right, management means that even if you are friends with the people you manage in your office, that doesn't mean you can confide about personal feelings about other people you manage- it's totally inappropriate, and your HR department would not be happy to hear about the coincidence. Even if they didn't validate the issue with you (no proof, etc) I bet your manager would get counseled about even the possibility of her misbehavior. Not cool- I am glad you are changing your future there very much.

You know, people are assholes at work sometimes and turn it into some kind of weird high school environment. If your manager was talking about you, then it was highly unprofessional. Just concentrate on your awesome new beginning and how happy you are to leave that drama behind. You're going to shine in your new position!

About Me

Welcome. My name is Amy. I am married to a hunky guy named Bob. We live in Minneapolis with our 3(you read that right) cats and 1 crazy dog. This is my space to rant, write, whine, and work things out in my brain. Your comments are welcome as long as you are not a troll and don't leave assvice. Read on!