By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, October 10th, 2007 at 5:48 pm in Uncategorized.

It’s good to see Kid Rock, who has a new record to promote, has decided to get out and start talking again. I’ve been missing 1999 lately.

I don’t even care about all the Pam Anderson slamming. Let me re-phrase. I mean I don’t mind Kid Rock saying not-so-nice things about his ex-wife. I don’t care if the guy has the sand to call his next record “Rock and Roll Jesus.”

No, what I love is Kid Rock, war strategist.

The Kid recently told Maxim magazine, which I accidentally only sometimes maybe read for the articles, that the first thing he’d do if he was running the war in Iraq would be to kick out the media, because war is ugly and you can’t fight it diplomatically. Apparently, all those professional war correspondents should come home and interview him about how much he likes beer. He pointed out we didn’t win the Revolutionary War that way, to which I might gently remind him that CNN’s signal wasn’t strong enough to get out of Boston in 1776.

Then Rock and Roll Jesus says, if someone kills an American soldier in Iraq, we should kill 50 innocent civilians. Or as RNRJ puts it “50 Mother$#@?ers.”

He’s also on the cover of Rolling Stone, fighting with Tommy Lee and talking to anyone with a microphone or notebook. Which makes me wonder: Why?

Is it 1999? Seriously, I don’t know how Kid Rock gets so much attention in 2007? He had one blowout record eight years ago, and hasn’t done much worth listening to since. Has Kid Rock suddenly become Brian Wilson?

No, I’m SERIOUS. Why do people like this guy so much? Ted Nugent is an annoying Detroit rocker too, but at least he’s a shredding guitarist and some of his music is good. And he’s funny. And he shoots flaming arrows on stage. Don’t ever underestimate the entertainment value of shooting flaming arrows on stage.