It’s not even that there should or shouldn’t be a controversy about the name. It’s that Reilly’s column doesn’t show a hint of nuance, context, or understanding of how race and culture actually work. His position is odious, but it’s also badly and inconsistently argued.

A few things that I haven’t seen mentioned (yet) in the collective Internet’s swift excoriation:

Confession time: I absolutely love weddings. And not just for the open bar.

(Sidenote: I once attended an alcohol-free reception and vowed never again–there is just no way to comfortably navigate that kind of social minefield without a buzz.)

There are no less than six wedding blogs that I read daily, obsessively bookmarking my favorite posts. I’m not entirely sure where this compulsion came from–I have never been engaged, and it doesn’t look like I will be anytime soon (AHEM AHEM). Despite this fact, I am giddy for all things marriage, most especially weddings that feature bunting, cute couples, papel picado, and DIY details. Unfortunately, none of my favorite weddings share a cohesive theme or design, so I have a feeling my Big Day is going to be some bizarre Franken-wedding full of mismatched details. Also, I’m serving Mexican food, so I really hope that Los Tres Amigos on Lebanon Road caters.

Though my devout following of the internet wedding community has shown me lots of wonderful ideas for my own (non-existant) nuptials, there are a few things that I wish would just disappear from the collective wedding-planning-conscious.