Do you ever question whether or not you’re getting this parenting thing right? I know I do. Every. Single Day.

I was told early on as a new parent that if you’re afraid you’re messing up your kids, then you’re probably doing a pretty good job. Only really good parents worry about whether or not they’re doing the best job possible. I sure hope that turns out to be true!

The other day I was working out at the gym with my trainer, King Hoover. I have mentioned King before to my readers. He is part fitness trainer, part counselor, part motivator, and part sounding board for me. I told him the other day that I felt like I wasn’t doing a good job in any area of my life. I had begun to feel like every day was a marathon of dealing with the tyranny of the urgent. In other words, I was living in a state of crisis management. I was being reactive, rather than proactive because I was being pulled in so many different directions. After a while, I peered at King behind tears I was trying to hide and questioned, “Were you ever afraid that you were missing out on precious time with your kids when your boys were young?”

Finally, King looked me in the eye and said something I’ll never forget. “Emily, your kids don’t want to be with you all the time any way.” I paused and just stared at him. No one had ever told me that my kids don’t want to spend every waking moment with me. “Emily, teach them principles and values, and then give them space to apply what you have taught them. They need time to apply what you’re teaching them at home. They will always come back to you. Then repeat the process over and over until they are ready to be launched as an adult.”

Teach your children principles and values, then let them have the freedom and space to apply what you have taught them at home. Wait for them to succeed and occasionally fail. Then talk about what they learned. Ask them lots of questions. What worked well? What did not work so well?

What a novel idea! How liberating too. We all need time, freedom, and space to apply what we’ve learned, even as adults. My financial planning clients also need time to implement what I teach them. For example, if they need a cash reserve account and we have agreed upon a certain amount to keep in savings, they need time to earn money and put it away. If they’re saving for college for their children or for retirement, they need time to save money every month, systematically, over and over, until they reach their specific financial goals.

I hope you will reach out to our office if you want to learn core values and principles about managing your money well. Then we will give you time to apply what you have learned. Then we will re-evaluate, make adjustments, and keep moving forward. For more information, visit me at: www.emilygstroud.com. #FaithfulFinance

Today I’m interviewing my social media director and assistant, Hayley Rodriguez on the topic of “Top 5 financial lessons your parents taught you”. She is a University of Texas at Austin 2016 graduate. She has been working for me for a little over a year. Starting this month, Hayley will continue to work for me, while simultaneously earning her masters in advertising. Hayley is a very focused young lady. As a millennial, she now makes up the nation’s largest living generation, surpassing Baby Boomers 75 to 74 million. Today, I wanted to visit with Hayley about her personal view of money, learn how she makes financial decisions and discuss the “Top 5 financial lessons your parents taught you”.

Hayley and her parents at UT Austin 2016 graduation.

Why the Top 5 Financial Lessons Your Parents Taught You are Important

ES: What would you say are the top 5 things your parents taught you about money?

HR: 1) Know The Difference Between Wanting And Needing

In our materialistic society, more is often seen as better.I’m guilty of being caught in that mind snare more often than not. However, my parents always reinforced the importance of knowing the difference between want and need. Being in the world of advertising has not spared me from being susceptible to ads. Every time I see influencers raving about a new product, a signal goes off in my brain and I think it’s time for a Target run. But being on my own financially, I have now created a budget using your budget planner. I know I only have a certain amount of money allotted towards beauty. I won’t have any money to spend on things I actually need, if I spend my money on repetitive wants.

ES: That is very wise my friend. I’m so excited that you have learned this lesson already. What else did your parents teach you?

HR: 2) Buy Quality

I recently went to Hawaii with my family and forgot a pair of flips flops; I know, I don’t know how. Anyways, I went to a shop close to the hotel that was having a spring blow out sale and scored a pair for $6. I thought I got a good deal and I saved money that I could spend elsewhere. Well, not even 30 minutes after walking around in them, I started to develop really bad blisters. I ended up having to go into a different store and buy a sturdier and more expensive pair. When you buy something that will last, you’re saving money from having to replace the item over and over again. This was a good financial lesson!

ES: It’s funny that you mention this. I often tell people to buy good quality shoes and a good quality mattress. You spend most of your life wearing shoes or sleeping. These are two items you don’t want to buy “cheap.”

HR: 3) My parents really stressed the following: Tithe 10%, Save 10%

A good habit my dad instilled in me right when I started receiving a paycheck was to immediately tithe 10%, and then save 10% of each paycheck. The money I earn is not mine, but God’s, so I want to be a good steward of what He’s given me. Doing this early on has helped me create a palms open position with God. It has also helped me trust in Him to provide everything I need.

ES: Your dad is exactly right! This is a perfect example of parents leading by example and passing their values on to the next generation. We need parents to lead their children and teach them well how to manage money God’s way before they leave the nest. Did you learn any lessons specifically from your mom about money?

HR: 4) Keep Cash on Hand

A good tip my mom taught me was to keep my extra spending money in cash. Instead of using my debit card to pay for the fun things I’ve budgeted, using cash is a tangible way to see how much money I’m spending on something. So when I’m thinking about going to Starbucks for that $5 latte and have only $60 to spend for the week, I pause and then question if that’s the best use of my money. More often than not, I quickly decide to save my cash for something else. Another a good financial lesson!

ES: I think your mom and I are kindred spirits. I know you’ve heard me say this a thousand times. You probably hear me say this in your dreams. Lol! “Cash is Queen Hayley! Everything in life is a little easier if you have some cash on hand.”

HR: 5) Finally, I have also learned to Comparison Shop

Whether it’s shoes, appliances, or home goods, chances are there is another retailer out there selling the same exact item for a lower price. The internet has made is so easy for consumers to become savvy shoppers. We can now price check things online and retailers know that. Retailers are all competing with one another to offer consumers the lowest price in order to earn a sale. Double-checking what other retailers are selling an item for can save you a couple bucks, or even a couple hundred bucks. It never hurts to check.

ES: I love to comparison shop online too. I often look for a coupon code when I buy something online. Occasionally, I can save a little more money just by taking a few minutes to search for a current coupon before I make the purchase. Did you know that you can do this when you are in a retail store too? I look for a coupon online whenever I’m waiting in line to purchase my goods. For example, I was buying a wedding present last weekend for a young couple at one of the big box retail stores. I found a coupon by searching online on my phone for an extra 20% off while I was waiting in line. The less I spend on the exact same items or goods, the more money I keep in my pocket!

Are the lessons your parents teaching you proving to be true or not, helpful or not?

HR: I think everything they have taught me has been very helpful and I’m so thankful I have great parents who are good with money. They have helped me make the adjustment into the adult world.

ES: Yay! Your parents have launched you instead of coddled you. We need more parents like yours in our world today!

Also, is there anything they did not teach you that you wish they had?

HR: I wish I had learned more about investing, what a 401k is, saving for retirement, etc. These are all big subjects that were briefly touched on, but it’s something I still don’t understand.

ES: Well, I happen to know a little about 401k plans, saving for retirement, and investing so I can help you with those questions.

Hayley, you’re a great example of a young lady that is pursuing her education, learning to live within her means, while still saving and tithing, and trusting God through it all. Thank you for being a part of my company. I have really enjoyed spending some time today at the farm-house talking about your views on money.

HR: My pleasure! Any time.

#FaithfulFinance

Do you have a financial question, or need encouragement or guidance in a certain area? I would be honored to hear from you. Please complete our online contact form, and I will be in touch shortly. Remember: you’re not alone in your finances!

Sheryl is no stranger to hard work. She was a teacher for over 35 years and her husband was a school administrator. They raised twin boys and made sure their children were well-educated. When we first met just 10 years ago, Sheryl was grieving the loss of her beloved husband and the shattered dream that they would live out their retirement years as a couple. We spent a lot of time together during those first few months after we met. I counseled her on how to manage her money, I made sure she was properly insured, and together, we got her estate and all of her financial affairs in order. Then I looked her in the eye and told her one thing: GO GET BUSY LIVING!

Well, she took my advice and then some! She has now travelled around the world to see all 7 continents because she wanted to marvel at God’s creation with her very own eyes. She’s also a docent at our local modern art museum, and she plays mahjong with a group of senior ladies every week who have become her tribe of friends. Sheryl also has the gift of hospitality. She often welcomes her sons, extended family, and friends who have become like family, into her home to be refreshed and to share a meal. Sheryl lives with intention and great purpose.

I counsel people daily on how to best manage their personal finances. We talk about risk versus return, diversification, and other financial planning tools. However, one thing that sets people apart is whether or not they are working to live, or living to work. You may find this surprising but I’m not a proponent of working as hard as possible, as many hours per day, to make as much money as possible. Instead, I prefer the Work Smarter Not Harder mentality.

Friend, this life is not a dress rehearsal. You only get one shot at this amazing gift called life. When it’s all said and done, you won’t think on your deathbed that you wish you had spent more time at the office, rather than quality time with your friends and family. I want to encourage you to spend more time seeing the world rather than seeing the inside of a cubicle.

You may be thinking right about now that this sounds good in theory, but not practical in real life. I want to debunk that myth. You can learn to manage your money in such a way that it works for you. That’s the message and battle cry of Faithful Finance. Sadly, many folks today are living their lives like they are spinning on a hamster wheel. They are just surviving and not thriving. They plan to work until they die, rather than LIVING out the potential they have for a fruitful and peaceful life.

I want to encourage you to reach out to someone you trust to help create a plan for your personal finances. I want you to live as if you know for certain that God has great plans for you, that He wants to provide well for your family, and that He has purpose for your life. Friend, I believe this is how we should all LIVE.

Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

I am the mom of a 10-year-old daughter. Lately I’ve noticed that she wants to be more independent and have more responsibility, but she also still loves her stuffed animals, toys, and playing make-believe with her friends and her little brother.

I recently asked her if she was ready to put her dollhouse up in the attic. She rarely plays with it, and it’s actually sitting on the floor right next to the door of her bedroom. I trip over it at least once a week. It’s not serving any purpose and it’s taking up a lot of valuable space in her bedroom. This dollhouse is a perfect metaphor for something we no longer need or use, but we’re not emotionally ready to let go of it in order to make space for new things in our lives.

What are you holding onto that you no longer need or use, but emotionally, you just won’t let it go? It could be a bad habit or it could be something of material value.

What would happen if we took an inventory of our lives, and were honest with ourselves about what we we’re doing, saying, or keeping that’s no longer serving us well? What if we got rid of clutter in our lives to make room for more of what God wants to use to bless us? Rest assured, I’m talking to myself just as much as I am to you today.

A friend told me one time that she keeps a bag of M&M candies in her car just in case she “needs it.” In reality, the candy is sabotaging her efforts to eat healthier. When she’s hungry in the afternoons and most susceptible to making a bad food choice, the candy is right there waiting for her in the car. In reality, she does not need M&M candies; but she keeps it around anyway because she’s just not ready to give up her candy habit. What would happen long-term if she replaced those M&Ms in her car with a healthier alternative? How would her health improve?

The same principle applies to our personal finances. We have to make a conscious decision to make good choices, over and over again. Part of being wise stewards with our finances is letting go of things, or habits, that no longer serve us well. We can continue to buy things we don’t really need to fill a void in our souls, or we can stop and prayerfully consider a purchase BEFORE we actually head to the cash register.

Ultimately, we all desperately need wisdom to determine what is the highest and best use of the resources God has given to us. I want to encourage you today to stop making decisions regarding your personal finances and then ask God to bless it. Instead, prayerfully ask God to give you wisdom and then move forward as you are led. This simple, purposeful exercise could radically change both your well-being and your personal finances. #FaithfulFinance

1 John 2:15-17 (ESV)

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.