Humor

CORAL GABLES - After I pulled out of the race, many people have shared their condolences and have asked if I am doing alright. My friends tell me it was a fluke, and that I can run again in 2020, people do it all the time.

But honestly, I’m not even that upset that my campaign didn’t work out. Yes, it’s an extremely prestigious job, arguably the most prestigious in the world. And yes, it offers the ability to influence the direction of a nation. Of course, the perks are great, flying on Air Force One sounds really freaking neat. Also, the housing is free and the meals are comped. Hell, I hear presidents eat better than the employees at Google.

However, at what cost? The work/life balance is miserable, the salary isn’t nearly as great as other opportunities, and the DC location, sounds fun year or two, but not four or eight. And what are the exit opportunities? Endless speaking tours? Write a book titled “Jeb Memoirs!”? No thanks! I don’t even like people that much in the first place, makes me sleepy. Also, the ratio sucks in the House and Senate; I’d be around guys all day.

Sure, I wanted to work at the White House. I even used to say it was my dream job. It would have looked great on my resume. I used to draw pictures of me in the Oval Office and move plastic tanks around my map of the Middle East in my bedroom. I would day-dream about giving CEOs high-fives for lowering corporate tax rates.

To help me get there, my caring brother George spent endless time prepping me for the press and debates through ‘case studies,’ asking me questions like “You would have invaded Iraq, right?” My father would come over on Sunday nights and would pepper me with questions to simulate a real debate. George would always throw me a Low-Carb Monster Energy before the debate to try to get my energy level up. Both of them were great at trying to pay it forward.

But come on, 16 hour days, endless travel, living in DC, and the constant scrutiny? Yuck, I’d much rather spend time with my beautiful wife Columba and take the occasional skiing trip. I like skiing.

The White House sounds great, on paper, but it’s not for me, it’s not for Jeb!

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