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Category Archives: quotations

It is swing- swirl-spiral time. It’s ripple-sway-flutter time and flow-gush-gyrate time, and jive-jiggle-juggle time. I trust you will not indulge in fruitless yearning for unswerving progress and rock-solid evidence. If your path is not twisty and tricky, it’s probably the wrong path. If your heart is not teased and tickled into shedding its dependable formulas, it might be an overly hard heart. Be an improvisational curiosity- seeker. Be a principled player of unpredictable games.

We all want Love in our life. We all have strong desire to experiencing loving relationships. We all want to reassure ourselves that we are being loved by someone special. But what is Love? How can it be possible? Can it be constructed?

Loving ourselves, loving each other, our neighbors, and our enemy are essential part of philosophical political and psychological debates in human history. It is said, most fights/ conflicts are linked to the absent of Love in human relationships.

Thick Nhat Hanh shares his views and wisdom on ways of bringing Love more present in our daily life. In his book, True Love (1997), he says: according to Buddhism, there are four elements of true Love. I am going to share with you what he consider as essence elements of Love. They are the following:

a) The first element of true love is Maitri, which can be translated as Loving- kindness or Benevolence. Loving- Kindness is not only the desire to make someone happy, it is the ability to bring joy to the person you love. To have this ability, you must practice ‘deep looking’ directed towards the person you love. If you don’t understand this person, you can’t love properly. Understanding is the essence of love. How to understand the person? We must have time; we must practice looking deeply into this person. We must be attentive. We must observe and look deeply.

b) The second element of true love is Karuna, Compassion, this is not only the desire to ease the pain of another person but the ability to do so.

c) The third element of true love is Mudita, Joy. If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, if you make the person you love cry, this is not really love. It is even the opposite.

d) The forth element is Upeksha, Equanimity or Freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free; not only outside but also inside.

I would like to invite you to reflect on your love according to these elements and see if your love has these elements and if not, what could you do differently. Please share your thoughts and ideas!

“When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. When I couldn’t change my town, then as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now as an old man I realized the only thing I can change is myself. Suddenly I realized that if I long ago had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. And their impact could have changed the nation. And I could indeed have changed the world.” ~ Unknown Monk (1100CE)

Let’s change ourselves, our views and attitudes towards others. Let’s be more kind to our weaknesses and be more appreciative of our strengths. Let’s learn how to connect with one another in a way that doesn’t produce harm; let’s satisfy our needs and wants in a way that doesn’t intrude/violate others’ presence; let’s have more awareness; let’s be at peace with self and others…

One of the most empowering tools we have in life is our own example.

If you would like to get to know yourself more , become more aware of your inner resources and have more impact on your relationships, contact me for further conversations. Looking forward to hearing from you,