Before I begin, I want to give a huge thank you to The Indie Book Butler for featuring The Dark Proposal on its website and social media, as well as interviewing me for its site. Thanks Paul!!!

OK, here goes…

Vampires seem to be the envy of many humans. They get to be immortal, have superpowers, be beautiful and sexy, and have access to endless wealth and glamour. Being a vampire sounds fun, although it some cases you miss out on the sunlight.

But what if being a vampire is not what it is cracked up to be?

A couple of years ago, I came across an article on how death makes life more meaningful. Without it, life is pointless. In other words, immortality brings on aimlessness, boredom and humility. After all, if you were to live forever, what would you live for? Most people hope to achieve certain things before they die, and spend their lives working on their legacy. If you were always going to be around, then what’s the point of leaving behind a legacy? Instead of being concerning about how you’d be remembered, probably all that will concern you would be your reputation. And that will depend on the politics and social norms of the vampire world.

Photo byRikard Elofssonvia Flickr

I found this PDF from the Journal of Philosophy of Life, which most likely discusses the article I found two years ago. In it, the belief that death gives meaning to life are discussed. Although it is pointed out that many people spend their lives running away from death and live like they’ll always be around, the idea that death haunts us into making our lives purposeful is seriously pondered. Such suggestions as death being a motivator for us to do something with our lives, or to do good towards others, or to be less bored with living in itself, are talked about here. Give it a read, I highly recommend it.

Anyway, finding and reading that article two years ago motivated me to work on the sequel to The Dark Proposal. Because it got me thinking on what would it be like if you were immortal. I had always thought if I were to be immortal, I would have endless fun and live a hedonistic, laidback life. I would have nothing to fear because death will never come to me.

Now, I portray my vampires living that way. They’re very hedonistic and don’t have much goals except for defending their kind, becoming as rich as possible, drinking blood every night, having sex in so many styles, and so on. Yes, some have jobs or live artsy lives, but that is seemingly to pass the time, to blend in with humans, and to make money legitimately. But they have no goals to work their way up the workplace ladder or anything. If any of my vampires had such goals, it would be to work their way up the hierarchy to become Defenders of the Blood (more about that another time).

But that’s about it, though. When it comes to love and relationships, there is no “till death do us part” because death just isn’t thought of for vampires, even though it is a possibility. Therefore, there probably wouldn’t be a lot of relationship goals, so to speak, since these beings have eternity. There is also no children to bear and raise, so nix that idea. And since there’s no pregnancy or threats of STIs, then there’s hedonistic sex galore in this world!

With that in mind, it sounds like a vampire would be coasting along in life, doing a few things here and there just to pass the time and to secure the existence of vampires. Their world is completely separate from humans, and they don’t think much of the humans they are feeding on. Humans are the source of consumption; no need to get involved in their world unless it benefits the vampire’s.

So, with all this mind, what would be the meaning of life for a vampire? What would be the point? Endless fun may get boring after a while, especially with nothing being taboo. Defending the existence of vampires may prove worthy, but then comes the question of what is the point of being a vampire? The way I wrote my vampires, it is to escape death and be godlike. Basically, vampires live in fear of death and being weak. That is what motivated the Five Brothers to bring forth vampirism, though they didn’t realize what they were getting themselves into; they just thought they were going to be blessed by their ancient tribal gods to be just like them. Instead, they were cursed with not being in the daylight for many centuries, and to spend eternity warding, and fighting, off humans. All for what?

Furthermore, it also must be lonely to be a vampire. Being surrounded by the same group of people for centuries must get irritating, though I could also imagine, it would be heartwarming since you’d have a long history with all these beings. As Daniel told Claire, they are a tribe.

So, living in harmony, side by side, for centuries, living in complete hedonism and on guard to defend their kind. And once it is safe to venture into the sunlight more and more, a vampire would discover humans are evolving in a way to fight them off more and more. Technology and knowledge keeps developing, and soon, a vampire finds they are unable to fight off humans, and the true death awaits.

That’s basically the crux of my vampire trilogy. I cannot imagine life being a charm for a vampire. It could be on the surface, and on a shallow scale. But deep down, at its core, a vampire’s life has little meaning.

In that way, the vampire is cursed. Cursed to live a life without life.

Before I get started, I know I mentioned that I would be writing my weekly posts on Mondays. However, it looks like Tuesdays work better for my schedule. So for now on, expect posts from me on Tuesdays.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

So, I am currently watching the Starz series Outlander on Amazon. For those who do not know, it is about a 1940s Englishwoman, Claire Beauchamp, who is transported back two hundreds in 18th century Scotland. Since this is the 1740s, there’s a lot of brutality going on, especially with a captain of the English army in Scotland, “Black Jack” Randall, who tortures the Scottish people left and right. There’s even a scene where Claire’s husband, Jamie Fraser, is tortured and then raped by Randall.

Now, I didn’t read the books that this series is based on, but I understand that the show is closely based on the books written by Diana Gabaldon. If so, it makes me wonder why she would put in a scene where a man graphically rapes another man. Yes, there are a lot of male-on-female rapes, floggings and beatings in Outlander, but it is easy to brush them off as that was the time period back then. But that scene has been haunting me. I guess it is because I’m one of those who has grown attached to Claire and Jamie, and couldn’t tolerate Jamie being tortured that way. Yes, Claire was raped or almost raped herself, but the show didn’t graphically display that as much as Jamie.

It also haunts me because last week, I was working on my WIP, which picks up where Claire McCormick and Daniel Poncher are in the trilogy. I was writing feverishly and in a stream-of-consciousness way. As a result, I ended up writing a part where Daniel graphically rapes Claire. Yeah, I did that. I went there.

Now, there are other scenes when Daniel does that, but it is not as brutal and more of a coerced sex way. But when I wrote that part, I was so bothered and disturbed that I had done that, and I ended up deleting it. Watching that scene on Outlander helped me do so.

Which has me thinking about why we writers write such graphic scenes, and just what the hell are we thinking? When I wrote that scene in my WIP, I was rattled and wondered if I have a sadistic side of me somewhere deep in my sub-conscious. I have to admit part of me felt truly satisfied with that scene, and was disappointed when I deleted it. I am now considering adding it back in.

Is there something wrong with me? Do I love torturing my characters? Am I sadistic somehow?

Heck, it makes you wonder if someone like George R. R. Martin, the author of the books that would inspire the HBO series, Game of Thrones, is sadistic. I mean, all of his characters go through hell, and some get brutally raped or brutally murdered. It is enough to leave readers and viewers shaken.

So, what are we writers thinking? Are we cruel? Or just going along with the muses in our heads?

I think the bottom line is whether these brutal scenes are worth it for the entire story. If it does not add something to the whole story, however violent it is, then it is pointless – and even sadistic. Perhaps what should be more disturbing is how violent human nature is, and we writers are just representing and expressing that in our work. If human nature were not so cruel and barbaric itself, then maybe we would not write such things.

But what of the satisfaction that comes with writing those parts? I think the reason why part of me was satisfied with the now-deleted scene where Daniel rapes Claire is because it flowed so well, from one action to another and another. The part before Daniel attacks Claire had me excited because there was so much emotion and action going on. But once I wrote the rape part, I was like, ‘what have I done?”

Is it worth having in the story? I don’t know yet, I’m still debating. But one thing I’ve been learning while watching Outlander, and even other shows, is that writers aren’t really sadists. Human nature is, and so are our muses. We’re just writing what works for the story and the characters, and what is streaming out of our consciousness.

But it is also vital for us to wonder whether all the violence is gratuitous and even worth portraying at all.

This week will be five years since I self-published “The Dark Proposal”. It was the first book I’ve ever written, and I felt a great sense of accomplishment and excited as I sent my baby out into the real world.

Five years since, I have grown so much as a writer and person. It’s hard to recognize myself during that time, honestly. That is why it has taken so long to write the sequel to “The Dark Proposal”.

But I’m not going to ramble on why and how the sequel has been delayed. I’ve done that enough times on this blog.

So, I’m here to present one of the inspirations behind the sequel. A few years ago, I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to write the sequel. And then I heard the song, “Lost in Paradise” by Evanescence, and it blew me away. For a while, I could see Claire saying the words to the song to her friends, Samantha and Monica. Or I could see Hilde telling Claire those words. Or any of the vampires. After all, my vampire trilogy is about the vampire world being in trouble with modern technology and surveillance threatening their existence. And also, there is a wonder among the vampires if their own existence is worth it. After all, what are they truly living for?

But that’s for a later blog post. For now, enjoy this beautiful song, “Lost in Paradise” by Evanescence:

It had been on my mind for a little while, and took a good butt kicking to get the drive going again. But I am glad that engine is roaring once more, and I doubt I am going to look back.

I am once again working on the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

Yeah. I’m certain some of you are rolling your eyes now.

After stopping, restarting and stopping again, I am giving it another go. And this time I am going to go all the way with it.

The last time I stopped was, as I explained, mainly for financial reasons. As much as I wanted to keep working on the sequel, I was concerned about how expensive it is to self-publish. But after doing a little research, I found it is not that unusual for writers to do crowd-source funding for their work. And that is what I plan to do. By the time I am done with the first draft of this book, I will start a campaign to raise money to get my book edited, get the cover made, and a few other promotional things to get the word out about it. But that won’t be until the fall, perhaps.

Some of you might be thinking that I am struggling with the main character, Claire McCormick, because I portrayed her as insecure, naive and kind of foolish, which is not easy to follow-up to in the sequel. While my intention was never to make her a strong, kick-ass female, I am finding ways to develop her strengths as well as have her face her weaknesses. Claire’s story is about personal responsibility, which ties in with the vampires’ story.

Some of you may also be wondering about my other WIP, “The Cats”. That I am setting aside until I complete my vampire trilogy. I may work on it from time to time, but my priority is my vampire stories, so once I complete them, then I’ll continue on with “The Cats”.

Yeah, being an author can be a mindboggling thing. You have to weigh-in writing what you want versus what makes since business-wise. After all, writing books is a business, whether you self-publish or go the traditional route. Money talks, and you have consider how you’re going to spend your money, or obtain the funds, to get your work out to the world. But sometimes passion talks to, and if it’s in your gut to write something, or finish something, than there are times when you have to give in. Besides, going with your gut works all the time.

So, without any further ado – onward with the sequel to The Dark Proposal.

BTW, I’ve already given it a working title: “A Light in the Darkness”.

I know its been a while since I posted here. I still intend to post twice a month for the time being. But I also intend to do something different with my authorship.

In September, when I posted my two posts on the sequel to The Dark Proposal, I felt the surge of doubt rise once again. During this whole year of writing the sequel to my vampire novel, I had a wild ride and enjoyed very much creating the vampire world, and delving into the characters that made up that world. I also was anxious over what would become of Claire as she found herself trapped in a world she never wanted to be in.

But at the same time, I had doubts. Not over the story and the direction it was going toward. But doubts over the book’s future. In other words, self-publishing. I had self-published The Dark Proposal when I released it four years ago. That means I used my own money to pay for an editor to make sure everything was grammatically OK, and all-right story-wise. I also used my own money to pay for a graphic designer to create that beautiful cover, as well as money to pay blog tours and advertisers to get the word out about my book. It was all out of my pocket. That’s what self-publishing is about.

But that was four years ago. This time around, I was asking myself if I really wanted to self-publish again.

Honestly, there’s no other way to get the sequel out. I had tried to get The Dark Proposal picked up by small publishers, but since it was not a big hit, it was not picked up. It doesn’t make much sense to self-publish one part of a series, and then use a small publishing house to release the others. It also simply does not work that way.

Realizing the daunting task of having to spend money to get my book out, I began to ask myself what I really wanted this time around. That’s when small epiphanies came forward.

And here they are:

SELF-PUBLISHING ISN’T THE BEST OPTION:When I self-published four years ago, I was not as fiscally wise as I am now. Looking back, I can’t help but think I could’ve used that money for other things. Sure, it takes money to make money, and I was really gung-ho for releasing my first book. But now that I am older and have been on my own in the expensive city of New York for over three years, I see that money is not something to be fickle about. Even if you are investing it to start a business (because that is what self-publishing is: a business), you really have to ask yourself if it is worth it, no pun intended. Money needs to be spent as wisely as possible.

In case you are wondering, I invested nearly $1000 into The Dark Proposal – from the editing to the promotions. The editing was the most expensive part because you get what you pay for, and most editors wouldn’t work for peanuts. Imagine what else I could’ve done with that $1000? It could’ve gone to savings or retirement or a memorable vacation. The cost of living is high, especially in NYC. So money cannot be thrown around like it will always be there.

But, at the time, I was gung-ho about The Dark Proposal. I loved it and wanted the whole world to see it. I still love it, and I am still proud of how I write a book and got it out to the world. And it will always be out for the world to read because I am never unpublishing it. It will always be there.

That being said…

I NO LONGER HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO WRITE MORE:
Again, don’t get me wrong. I love my characters and I still want to find out what happens to them. I want to explore their worlds more, their histories and their futures. Even though they are fictional, they are in a special place in my heart. Literally!

But I was a much different person when I wrote my book nearly five years ago. Back then, I was reeling from a series of bad relationships, and wanted to get the notion of abusive relationships out of my system. Writing The Dark Proposal was like a cathartic experience for me.

But now, the notion of abusive relationships are no longer in my system. I’ve had better dates and relationships since, and I’ve grown healthier and wiser. My self-esteem is much better. And I got my fears and rage out of my system when I completed The Dark Proposal. Now, four years later, I am not that same person and abuse is not something I want nor can explore anymore. I’ve healed. And that’s a good thing.

SO NOW WHAT DO I DO? NOW WHAT DO I WANT?So I am fiscally unable to self-publish, and I no longer have the drive to write about abusive relationships. Now what do I do?

As much as I hate to give up on my sequel (again), it is best. It kinda sucks because I do adore my characters. But that is not to say I will never ever write The Dark Proposal’s sequel. Maybe someday when I have a few bucks to spare (like, when I’m a millionaire or so), I will self-publish the sequel. I’ll still work on it, but more out of love for my characters rather than a desperate need to get the sequel out. And I still want to find out what happens to Claire. She has a lot of potential for growth and being an amazing young woman. It will just take a long time for readers to find out.

Anyway, so what do I do now? Well, I have other story ideas that I am now taking notes on, scribbling scenes on, and even working on. I plan to publish my next book traditionally, either by a major publisher or a smaller one.

Which leads to my next ponder…

Should I use my real name for my next book?

Megan Cashman isn’t really my name. Cashman is another form of my mother’s maiden name. Megan is my first name, though. I originally chose to use a pseudonym in order to keep my fiction writing separate from my journalism (I used to work for a major newspaper, and now I freelance while also being an adjunct professor and tutor). After all, would I be taken seriously as a journalist if I wrote a book on vampires?

But now I am considering using my real name for all my future books, including the paranormal ones. I used to think I would use my pen name for the paranormal books, but use my birth name for the more historical and modern settings. However, I no longer care. I want my name on all my books. Because I have something to say, and if it comes in the form of a book on witches, dystopic societies or whatever, then so be it. There are plenty of journalists who write fiction. Among my favorite authors is Sarah Dunant. She goes back and forth between working for the BBC to writing historical fiction on the Italian Renaissance. As far as I know, she had not changed her name at all.

I get that branding is an important issue to consider. But as of now, I am leaning towards using my real name for my future books. I can’t predict what will come first: being a known journalist or a known author. Who knows? We can’t control or predict the future. Either way, one would benefit the other. And I think the two will go hand in hand, believe it or not.

So that is me going forward…

I will not stop with The Dark Proposal. I will continue to talk about it, though eventually, I will start chatting about my latest work (more about that later). I have plans to make it into an audiobook, and even revamp its book trailers.

But slowly and surely, I will start to talk about my upcoming work and what my plans would be as an author of fictional work. And I’ll start right here…

I have just begun work on what could be a YA novel. It is about a teenage girl who is mercilessly teased and bullied by just about everyone in high school. Things aren’t looking up, until she notices some black cats as she walks home…

Yesterday marked the four year anniversary that I self-published The Dark Proposal. Since then, I’ve been taking my sweet time writing its sequel. It’s been a long road working on it, with a lot of doubt mixed in. But I’m happy to say that I’m finally getting somewhere with it, and even have a title in mind!

Actually, I have two in mind. I am split between the two prospective titles, because they both represent the story.

One of them is, Blood Ties, which illustrates how torn Claire is between the vampire world and the human world. She now has vampire blood in her, yet she is trying to hold on to her humanity. As the vampire world becomes more and more troubled, where would her loyalties lie?

The other is Between Light and Dark, which also illustrates how torn Claire is. But in this case, she is also haunted by the mistakes she made that led her to become a vampire and is seeking some hope, hence the light. Furthermore, this title goes hand in hand with its predecessor – light, dark.

The more I write, the more I will figure out the title. Who knows, I might come up with something totally different.

In the meantime, check out this excerpt! Enjoy!

She grabbed her bathrobe, and went to the bathroom. She first started a shower, but switched to the bath once she realized Daniel would want to know why she was doing that. She was a vampire, no need to cleanse herself of anything, including him. So, her bubble baths would have to do. This was something she had begun doing since returning from Paris, and was one of the rare freedoms Daniel allowed for her. These baths weren’t just moments of indulgence for her. They made her feel clean, physically and mentally.

As she stripped off her bathrobe, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Did she recognize that person looking back at her? That person was a young woman with eyes that seemed as dead as the body she inhabited. Did she know she was staring back at herself?

Repulsion rose again and Claire had to calm down before she smashed the mirror. She let the tidal wave come, and it poured out in silent sobs. The blood tears came and flooded down her face onto the pristine sink. She didn’t care if the tears were really the blood of her victims or not. She just wanted a release.

After a few moments, she gathered herself enough to step into the tub. As she lied in the rosewood scented bubbles, the tears flowed more and she even choked a bit on her sobs. She made sure she did this quietly enough with the faucet running and the shower doors shut, so Daniel’s sharp hearing wouldn’t alert him. Luckily, he probably wasn’t even thinking about her right then.

Tilting her head back against the tub, Claire sighed and shook her head to herself. Her friends and family had no idea what she had become. She had rarely spoke to them since moving in with Daniel. The last time she spoke to her mother was on the phone two weeks ago. It was to wish her a happy birthday while explaining that she was too busy to visit. Her mother sounded frustrated, as she lately had been. But Claire also heard something else: helplessness. Her family had no clue on what was going on with her. It had to be agony for them to be lost like this. But if they ever found out, that agony would be replaced by outrage. She had put them in danger and she was now a monster. That would be it.

The same reaction would come from her two former best friends. Samantha would sound off obscenities while jabbing a finger at her, and Monica would storm off without saying a word. Claire would be left with only to turn to the vampire world she despised.

And she had to accept being a vampire.

She closed her eyes as a sob shook her. There was no way out of this. She had to be a vampire. She had to accept and live what she was now. No use in trying to maintain her humanity. Daniel was painfully right.

Claire’s body tightened. She could still feel him inside of her, using her like a masturbation device.

And she was attached to him for eternity. No matter what, he would be a big part of her life. The mere thought sickened her right to the bone, and she wanted to vomit.

A single blood tear rolled down her face, and she roughly brushed it away. Opening her eyes, she saw the bubbles and the water were tainted with blood. Blood from her tears.

Stunned, Claire stared at the bubbles and water around her. The blood was like ink, with its redness swirling around in the water, or relaxing to dye it faint red. Some of that inky crimson hue was caught in the bubbles. A large one rested near her left knee and it had that thick redness inside. It looked trapped, stuck in endless whirling, with no way of getting out, unless the bubble would burst.

Claire blinked a few times to rid herself of the shock. Even her cherished baths were blood stained. Her life was now bound by blood. Blood would be everywhere for her. Her very existence will be consumed by blood, and she will consume it, too. Blood and her were forever entwined. There was no more room for denial.

She gritted her teeth. There was no way she was going to live her life like that. She was so much better than this. She was not the sadistic killer Daniel wanted her to believe. She was not going to relish in human blood, no matter how much her new nature insisted. She was not going to embrace her vampire self.

Claire unplugged the drainer and stood to turn on the shower. Using her supernatural speed, she rinsed herself off of the ugly bubbles and water. Not only didn’t she want Daniel to hear the shower and get curious, but she also wanted to be rid of the redness as soon as she could. Claire’s anger began to crash down her regret and gain more steam. She was angry at Daniel and herself, and that anger was getting stronger with each rough stroke of her skin.

Once relieved of the bloody filth, she turned off the faucet. Glancing down at the floor of the tub, she saw the remaining bubbles and water were not fully rid of their redness. Worse, the tub’s porcelain now had a faint pink hue and might need some cleaning to be white again.

An ache suddenly came from her upper arms and torso. When she looked, she saw she had scratched herself while rubbing her skin in super-quick speed. Thin lines of blood had formed on her arms, stomach and chest.

Claire’s anger disappeared as quickly as the water going down the drain.

Letting out a sigh, she hung her head.

She was unsure of what to do that very minute, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…

The only thing she was certain about was to lower herself onto the floor of the tub, pull her knees up, bury her forehead on them, and lose herself in her thoughts.

Blood had bound her to this world is more ways than one. She didn’t want either, but had no other choice. Only she didn’t want to follow through on that choice.

But what else could she do? There was no way out of this. It was permanent, and likely eternal, whatever that meant. She would never again be human, no matter how much she wished she still was.

Yes, isn’t sad that summer is over? For me, it went by too fast and I barely had time to enjoy it. But unfortunately, this year’s summer was far too hot and humid, so that experience has me looking forward to the much cooler fall. Seriously, some seasons aren’t worth getting ill over.

In the meantime, I am still working on my sequel. It is a long and hard journey, mainly because of my crazy schedule that has me working hard in an expensive city. But I am making headway, and I believe by this time next year – or maybe sooner – I will be celebrating its release, five years after the first book, The Dark Proposal, was published.

I know, it’s a long time to go between releasing books in a series. In this case, I am writing a trilogy which is quite ambitious and pretty far fetched for someone who has a busy schedule. But I am determined to keep my word and keep on writing. I know I am pulling a George R R Martin here, but it is what it is. I am not a full time writer and it will be eons before I reach that point. I do what I can and I hope the results will be at least descent.

Later this month, I will be revealing the two possible names for my sequel. I’m split on the two, but I’ll reveal them anyway to mark the 4-year anniversary of The Dark Proposal’s release. But before I do that, I want to discuss the name of my books’ trilogy.

I am calling my trilogy The End of Eternity. It may seem odd that I am not calling my books The Dark Proposal trilogy. After all, many books and movies go by the first name of their series. They include The Twilight Series or the Star Wars trilogy. But I see The End of Eternity as fitting, and my apologies if it seems like I am giving away the story.

Image via Pixabay

When I started writing The Dark Proposal, I not only was exploring abusive relationships, but I was also asking the question: how could vampires survive today with so much technology and surveillance? I would imagine it would be far from easy and would be a problem unlike any other for vampires. I would imagine through the centuries, vampires would have dealt with the witch hunts, the Inquisition and other atrocities due to superstition and fear. But crime scene technology, social media, surveillance, and other modern technology would make it difficult for a vampire to get by. It’d be like the supernatural versus science. Who wins?

I originally wrote a story about all of this, but struggled with it because the characters were boring and no real backstory to them, no matter how hard I tried. Writing about Claire and Daniel’s relationship help add some color to the technology vs. vampire issue nicely.

So, The End of Eternity trilogy will answer the question of modern technology vs. vampire, along with what would happen if a young woman found herself in a relationship with a man who turned out to a murderous vampire. See, that’s the fun thing about vampires. There are so many issues and stories to explore with them. The possibilities are endless, and I think there are many good stories still waiting to be written about vampires. Maybe mine will set off a trend!

Why are you writing this story? Why are you writing about these characters? What is it about their journey that has drawn your heart? What is the core of the tale? Justice, mercy, love, revenge, self-discovery? Whatever it is that’s moving the characters is what’s also moving your story. That’s your theme.

Supposedly, theme cannot be planned or forced, but instead come naturally. Theme appears in the story as you write your arcs and developments. It blossoms on its own, an echo of your subconscious. It is the fuel for your story. It is the reason why a writer writes in the first place.

Anne Rice wrote Interview with the Vampire to explore death, mortality and losing God. The Kite Runner is look at the complicated relationship between fathers and sons. Love in the Time of Cholera‘s theme is love in all its variations.

The reason why I wrote my first book is because I wanted to explore abusive relationships. Having been in difficult ones – though no where near as Claire did with Daniel – I felt like I needed a release. I also wanted to write a vampire story where the vampires were once again evil and deadly – the exact opposite of what was popular four years ago.

Every story’s trying to say something. It’s trying to beam an idea, a message, into the minds of the readers. In this way, every story is an argument. It’s the writer making a case. It’s the writer saying, “All of life is suffering.” Or, “Man will be undone by his prideful reach.” Or “Love blows.” Or, “If you dance with the Devil Wombat, you get cornholed by the Devil Wombat.” This argument is the story’s theme.

A friend of mine says the central idea of The Dark Proposal was “be careful what you wish for”. He explains that Claire so wanted to have a rich lifestyle, that she was blind to Daniel’s abusive ways, and then later, used it as escapism for the vampire life she was about to enter. That’s one way to look at the argument.

Image via Pixabay

I have grown so much as a writer during the four years since I wrote my first book. Today, I am focused on going deep with my stories and being more honest with myself when I write. I don’t think I was very honest as a writer when I wrote The Dark Proposal. Part of me cringes when I admit that. But as one musician friend told me, if you do that, then it means you are growing as an artist.

Writing from the heart is not easy. You are literally exposing yourself as a human to hundreds, thousands and maybe even more to judge and tear apart. It is scary enough to produce a book that you poured your heart and soul into. And by that, I don’t mean every part of your mind. The best artworks come from the very essence of the person, their heart.

So as I seek to be more honest as a writer, what theme do I hope will come out of The Dark Proposal’s sequel? I know I cannot force it, but I really hope redemption and healing would be one or both. Actually, I hope it will be the theme for the whole trilogy (yes, my book was meant to be the first of three). I also like the whole “be careful what you wish for” theme will come into play. I’m sure there’s always more than one theme in a story, or different ways to figure out the theme.

Or rather, what kind of redemption and healing do my characters need in order to fuel that theme?

Claire needs to heal and be redeemed from her mistakes and naivete. Daniel needs to be redeemed from being so evil. There is room for redemption and healing for Hilde, the Five Brothers and even The Black Roses. Even Samantha and Monica need to heal. There’s a lot of pain in The Dark Proposal, and everyone has a lot of coming to terms to do.

Which raises another question: what kind of writer do I intend to be? Sure, I want to be one that goes deep with questions and the human experience. But will be the regular theme in my stories? Will there always be a re-occurring one? Who knows? But since themes come from the heart of the writer, maybe the themes of my stories will be similar, just written differently. Or not. It also depends on the perspective of the reader.

The key here is to keep on writing, and get more to the heart of what I’m trying to say, or express. But I obviously cannot force myself to expose my heart in a story, just like a theme cannot be forced.

I’ll let Chuck Wendig finish off the meaning of theme:

A writer can engineer the theme — building it into the work. Or a writer can unearth it — discovering its tendrils after the work is written.

Many authors create fictitious names of businesses, entertainers, institutions and others in order to avoid using famous names without permission. It also helps not to use famous names of places, people, and things so it would not sound like an author is trying to misrepresent the like by the way they write about, whether intended or not.

I certainly did this when I created Richmond College in “The Dark Proposal”, the higher ed institution on Staten Island, where Claire graduated and worked part-time at, met her two friends, Samantha and Monica, and of course, met vampire Daniel Bertrand there. I clearly didn’t have the resources to use an actual college on Staten Island, nor did I want to ruffle any feathers. So I made up a name.

Well, to be honest, not really. Richmond College used to be an actual institution on Staten Island, starting in 1965. It merged with Staten Island Community College in 1976 to become the College of Staten Island, which these days is part of the City University of New York (CUNY). I chose this name for Claire’s school because I wanted something authentically Staten Island for my book, since I aim to bring attention to the borough where I was born and raised in.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

While also aiming to have something related to Staten Island, I chose an actual college on Staten Island as the setting for Richmond College. Meaning, in my mind, I used an actual campus. That college campus is that of Wagner College, until recently, the only school with dorms on the Island. I once taught ESL one summer at Wagner, and it is a very lovely campus, sitting atop of the highest part of Staten Island. Since I needed a college with dorms for “The Dark Proposal”, and in 2012, the year I wrote the book, Wagner was the only one with that, I chose its campus as the setting. Whenever I visualize Richmond College for my book, I picture Wagner College.