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Top 10 Sexual Fantasies for Men

Top 10 Sexual Fantasies for Men

The nature of sexual fantasies is that they push the boundaries a bit, letting you imagine situations that occur infrequently, if at all, and exploring the depths of your desires. "Fantasies are fantasies because they are not reality — they are often taboo or rub up against social barriers," said Ian Kerner, PhD, a men's sexual health expert and co-author of "The Big Fun Sexy Sex Book." Men tend to have core thematic fantasies that they can return to again and again, he said, and "then there are fantasies that men would enjoy in the way they surf TV, exploring what catches their eye or their mood."

With Kerner's help and the input of other sex experts, here are 10 of the most common men's sexual fantasies, And, as Kerner said, "Enjoy your own private playground."

Putting Your Partner in Charge

Perhaps one of the simplest of men's sexual fantasies is just having your sexual partner directing the sex script for the night. "Whether it is a full-on dominatrix or simply a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it, many men find the thrill of a confident and sexual woman to be very appealing," explained Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, a sex expert and author of "Loving Sex: The Book of Joy and Passion."

"It can be tiresome to always feel like the pursuer. Feeling pursued can be a very sexy change, and it can also be a huge ego boost," she said.

Oral Sex

The most common men's sexual fantasies are about your partners doing things they wouldn't ordinarily do, said sex researcher Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and co-author of "The Normal Bar." Schwartz and her colleagues surveyed 100,000 adults about their marriages, touching on topics ranging from money to sexual fantasies.

Threesomes

"What could be better than one woman?" asked Schwartz. "Two" was the answer. At least, that's what the heterosexual men in her survey and her undergraduate classes reported. Chances are good that dreaming about a threesome (or, as it's called in French, ménage à trois) is on the list of most men's sexual desires.

However, Schwartz said she hasn't yet come up with a practical response to the question some students have asked her: "How do I get my lover to participate in a threesome?"

Men fantasize about what they aren't getting, she observed. Dozens of sex manuals can help partners who want to live out this fantasy do so in a fun and pleasurable way.

Watching Sex

"Many men are titillated by watching women pleasure other women," observed Berman. Voyeurism in general is near the top of the list of men's sexual fantasies. It can be combined with other fantasies, including watching your significant other with another sexual partner or masturbating to orgasm, or even discovering other people in flagrante delicto.

Submission

Many men enjoy sexual fantasies in which the man is more of a passive player. "A lot of men enjoy being submissive," Kerner said. "It runs contrary to the way they experience their lives outside of the bedroom. They enjoy being tied up, teased, tantalized, and spanked."

Schwartz noted that an extended variation of this theme is the fantasy in which a man's anus is penetrated by his lover, male or female.

Exhibitionism

Performing sexually in a public setting is also among men's sexual fantasies. Fantasies about having sex in public and being watched or discovered can fuel men's sexual desires.

Domination

For some men, the fantasy of having total power over their partner in a sexual situation can be quite arousing. These types of men's sexual fantasies might also include bondage and sadomasochistic elements that blend pain with sexual arousal. These men's sexual desires might also merge into fantasies of role playing, exhibitionism, and voyeurism, depending on how you script them.

Fetishes

Men's sexual fantasies often include fetishes. A fetish can involve any number of body parts, such as feet, or objects, such as your lover's underwear. Often, men's sexual fantasies are wrapped up in things that typically aren't included in their sex play. Fantasy is the perfect opportunity to safely experiment with how these fetishes could be included in your lovemaking.

Role Play

Schwartz said homosexual or bisexual men might have more freedom to play in this arena. "Gay men have a much broader palate," she said. "There is a gay culture that supports sexual fantasy." Dressing in drag or in costume and being willing to play different roles can lead to some exciting outcomes.

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