Dennis Miller Rants, Raves In Paperback

NAMES & FACES

April 13, 1997|By Leslie Doolittle of The Sentinel Staff

Outraged by the society crumbling around you but don't have the energy to say - much less do - anything about it? Relax. Take another sip of coffee and enjoy a few snippets from the ''Fame'' chapter of Dennis Miller's book, The Rants, new in paperback.

''Just one question - how come the psychic hot line never told Dionne Warwick that her career was gonna hit the wall harder than Mr. Magoo playing jai alai?''

''Why do I even know Tito Jackson's name. . . . Think about it. I say, 'Tito Jackson' and you say, 'Yeah, I know him. What about him?' And I say, 'Exactly. What about Tito Jackson?' ''

''Celebrity isn't easy. Not every cloud has a silver Rolls-Royce. There are always some people who just don't like you. You get on the cover of People magazine and two years later you see it in the dentist's office with your teeth blacked out.''

''In the penumbra between absolute obscurity and the worldwide renown there exists a shadow region filled with the seething hoard of pan flashers, egotists, dime store magicians and Holiday Inn cover bands hoping for a big slice of the adulation quiche. And while most of us are content to rubberneck the carnage on the berm of the road, too many people are desperately striving to actually be the car wreck, and I'm not sure we should feel compelled to recognize them.''

Paul plays on rooftop

Just like old times. Paul McCartney gave a free rooftop concert to startled passers-by, reviving memories of The Beatles' final concert in 1969.

McCartney performed for 20 minutes Friday during the filming of a documentary about his new album on the rooftop of a building he owns in Soho Square in central London.

''There were quite a few people gathered below listening to him playing live on his guitar,'' his agent Geoff Baker said. ''There was amplification so people down below could hear him.''

The Beatles brought traffic to a standstill during their final appearance in 1969 when they played their hit ''Get Back'' from the roof of the Apple Record building in Savile Row.

Albright honors actor

British actor Patrick Stewart, an American icon as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation, was honored Saturday for his pre-Star Trek career as a noted player in Britain's Royal Shakespeare Company.

Secretary of State Madeleine Albright presented Stewart the 10th annual Will Award of the Washington Shakespeare Theater.

Stewart opens in Washington on Nov. 11 in the title role of Shakespeare's Othello with an otherwise all-black cast.

Haitians love Fugees

Haitians welcomed the Fugees rap group like returning heroes Saturday, buying 60,000 seats for a sellout concert in Port-au-Prince.

''We're making people proud to be Haitian,'' said Wyclef Jean, 27, the group leader who left Haiti when he was 9 for New Jersey.

The ''Coming Home Concert'' was held in front of City Hall. The group is donating proceeds from the event to help Haitian refugees recently deported from neighboring Dominican Republic.

The Fugees shot to fame last year with their second album, The Score, a Grammy-Award winner.

Winter Garden stumper

Tom Hanks, executive producer of From the Earth to the Moon, was asked last week to name some Florida locations his crew has used to film his 13-part HBO anthology on the manned space program.

''We've been to the Cape, Winter Garden - is there a place called Winter Garden?'' When told ''yes,'' Hanks said, ''Then we went there.''

Also in the film is actor/musician Chris Isaak who plays astronaut Ed White. Speaking of playing, check out the photo of Isaak surfing the waves at Disney's Typhoon Lagoon during a break in production.

MGM family: It's a girl

The family of the late Walt Disney World honcho Bob Allen is celebrating the birth of the clan's first female offspring. Olivia Rae Allen is the daughter of Disney-MGM's vice president of production operation Bob Allen (same name, no Jr.).

''I just can't tell you how much this means to the family,'' said proud grandmother/community activist Rollie Rae Allen.

Writer parodies parents

Author Pat Conroy says his mom's theory on Southern literature was that it could all be summed up in one line:

''On the night the hogs ate Lily, Momma died when she heard what Daddy did to Sister.''

During a recent University of North Texas lecture, Conroy - author of The Great Santini, The Prince of Tides and Beach Music - also said his father wasn't too keen on his decision to become a writer.

''To him, that was an open admission that I was gay,'' said Conroy, who is married with children. ''He told me if he'd beaten me more, I'd be a better writer. I told him if he'd beaten me much more, I'd be Shakespeare.''

Clinton laughs off injury

President Clinton joked about his knee injury at the recent Radio-Television Correspondents' Association dinner in Washington:

''Within an hour of the accident,'' Clinton said, ''CNN had composed ominous theme music and put up a graphic: ''Breaking News, Breaking Knees.''

Boy gets Garth's guitar

Five-year-old Kurtis Graham wore a cowboy suit and black hat to a Garth Brooks concert and walked out with the singer's guitar.

Brooks threw the guitar about 10 feet into the air and let it crash to the stage as one of those wacky crowd-pleaser concert tricks. He then told staffers at the recent Pennsylvania concert to give the slightly cracked artifact to the ''sweet little boy in the front.''