A Holocaust story I've been doing for creative writing, I'd love some
feedback.

Falling Hope: Chapter I

Rebecca gasped as the man leveled the gun at her heart, and then turned to
her parents. "Get in the truck now, or your daughter will meet a very early end."
He spoke quite forcefully, yet very quietly. Her parents quickly obliged
and scampered up the ramp to the truck. The man then kicked Rebecca up
after her parents. Many people were packed into it, and she could sense
just how frightened everyone way. Rebecca felt for her mother's hand, and
griped it tightly. "Don't worry Rebecca, all will be fine." Her mother said with a false
note of happiness in her voice. But Rebecca was almost 15, and could tell
very well that every thing was not fine. "But mama, those men, they had guns." Rebecca's voice cracked in fear
as the trucks started to move. Her mother said nothing, but clutched her
hand tighter. Obviously, these trucks were not meant for comfort, and
thought the night, and then the next day, they rode in the trucks with out
any food or water. Finally, what Rebecca speculated to be about noon the
next day, the trucks stopped, and two men wearing the same uniforms as the
one back at home, opened the ramp, and started pulling people harshly out
of it, standing them in a line. A guard tore Rebecca away from her mother and father, and put her in
with a group of girls and boys her were all her height, and about her age.
Yet but another man came up, and looked at them. "Follow me." He said, and started walking at a surprising fast pace,
leaving some of the children to run instead of walk. For once, Rebecca was
glad of her tall height, and therefore she could keep up with him easily
enough. They were lead to a little shack, where a woman wearing yet again the
same uniform, came up and grabbed her roughly be the arm, and threw her
into a chair, where she started shaving off Rebecca's lovely glossy brown
hair. Her eyes widened in surprise, but some unknown force kept her quiet.
After what seemed like hours, the woman pushed her from the chair, and
threw her into another chair. "Hold still. You move, and it will hurt more." Was all the woman said
before she took a sharp tipped pen and started to poke ink into Rebecca's
skin. Despite her warning, Rebecca yelped in pain when the pen caught her
skin, and violently tried to pull away. The woman tighten her grip, and
kept going, as hot tears of pain sprung to Rebecca's eyes. No one had told
here what this was all about! Why did no one tell her why she was having
numbers engraved into her arm seemingly using her own blood, and why she
was shaved bald. "Go to that room." The woman said, and pushed Rebecca toward yet but
another door. She was sick of all this pushing! And her arm was searing
with pain, and was oozing blood. When she entered the room, she was given a
striped dress and pants, and one measly scarf, which she was made to change
into. Her new light blue calico and lace dress was taken. "That's mine!" She finally cried, all her confusion and anger had
reached their zenith. "Not anymore. These clothe will suit the purpose better, now GO."
This woman said, and for the 4th time, pushed her into a large muddy yard.
Immediately her eyes widened in horror. She could not find either of her
parents, but she did find some one unwelcome: another guard. "You, hold out your arm!" He said. His voice was harsh, but Rebecca
obliged, and stuck out her arm, knowing some way that she should hold out
the arm with the new numbers on it. He scribbled the numbers down in a
rush, and then said simply, "Name." "Mine? Oh, Rebecca Kogen." She said, very aware that the guard was
looking at her like she was stupid. He then copied down her name, and
pointed her to the group of children she had seen earlier. She walked numbly over, wanting to see her parents. "What did they do to you?" One girl asked, her voice high and squeaky
with fright. "They told me that we were going to help, and be able to
work." Rebecca stared at her in surprise. Work? Rebecca didn't want to work,
only see her parents! "Yes, you will work. Follow me!" A man had come up behind them. The
group looked at him, but followed, slipping and sliding through the mud. When they reached a gate, he unlocked it, and pushed them though,
where another man took over leading them. They walked past fences, where
people gazed out at them. They had gaunt faces, and starved bodies. Rebecca
swallowed, trying not to feel the fear that was creeping though every
single part of her body and brain. When they had walked past the last of
the fences and the people, they were suddenly at the door to a large
warehouse. The man opened the door, and herded them though the door with
the barell of his gun. There were people inside the building, stuffing
clothe into bags, and putting them in a pile. A stern looking woman pointed
to the workers. "You will do as they are doing. Do not stop, and you will be let go
at dark. Do not steal the clothes, and we will not hurt you." She said.
Everyone nodded and continued towards the people working. Stuffing the clothe in bags was harder than it looked. The bags were
large, and they were quite heavy when filled. After what Rebecca was sure
was at least a few days, the woman pointed them back out the door, where
they were immediately intercepted by the same man that had lead them there.
It was now dark, and the girl who had spoken to Rebecca early spoke to her
now. "This is horrible! I saw my Grandfather being lead away, and I
haven't seen him." She said out of the blue to Rebecca. "I haven't seen my
parents either. Only my brother." She indicated the silent boy walking next
to her, who seemed to be completely lost in thought. "I haven't seen my parents either." Rebecca whispered slilently.
"What's your name?" She inquired, reasling she handn't asked earlier. "My name's Annie." The girl said with a smile. It looked like Rebecca
had just found a friend.

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