Here’s a brief description of some of the things I tried to help my relationship with God. In this post, I shared how it was going for me.

Senses – I made and burned some beeswax candles, and really enjoy rubbing a roughed shaved cross that I was given by an elderly couple at my 1st church. In this blog, I basically whined about being a Sensate, but I’ve listened to some podcasts and let the idea of it settle in for me. And I decided that it’s actually a really awesome thing. I have 5 senses that I have access to at any waking, conscious moment. Which makes me feel like I’m kinda lucky that God would give me so many ways to access Him and feel His love if I can grow in making the connections between the concrete and His presence.

The Incarnation – Another thing I thought about looking into was the Incarnation – what it mean for God Himself to have a body with 5 senses. Tim Keller put out an amazing podcast on this in December (“The Word Made Flesh” – on iTunes, 12.8.16) and it really helped to soften my heart and lessen some of the anger I felt towards God. Particularly, when Tim talked about how Jesus came to earth as a human and the implications of what it can mean for us, being able to relate to Him as Believers. How Jesus can understand pouring your heart out, yearning for God to answer – to change something in your life, and hearing silence or “no.” I’d say the podcast helped bring Jesus closer to me psychologically.

Walking – I’ve been walking because of the pregnancy, and truly, that’s my biggest motivation. However, the health benefits toted by Katy Bowman and the author of Living into Focus, makes me want to continue and make it a life time thing. With two kids . . .

Since I was a little girl at summer camp, I have loved the 7a.m. hour in the morning. The soft light, cool temps, and quietness of the day have always drawn me in. It’s also the time when we’d open our bibles and talk about God, so I think that’s created a lasting connection for me.

One of the things that I started to notice when going on walks in November was that whenever I walked under a tree’s arching branch, I felt a really yummy, tingly feeling in my head. It made me feel covered, like a refuge. The word “refuge” in Bible verses has always pulled me in. It just seemed so nice and absolutely needed. Since finding out that I am an Enneagram 6, it became really clear why it this word is impactful for me. So I enjoy walking under these branches and feeling the yumminess, feeling comforted by God in a “sensing” way.

I’m looking forward to writing another Sensate post in which I can talk about how much closer Jesus feels to me than He did a couple months ago. Through the use of beeswax candles, absolution with a priest, and morning walks, I feel like I can sense Him again.

However this post is more from the fruit of that, which is why I mentioned it.

I was thinking this morning of Matthew 11:28-29

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

I’ve viewed those verses in a very general way: “Jesus acknowledges that life on this earth is hard and He’s saying He’ll lighten the load in someway. How nice of Him.” but after my absolution I’m experiencing this truth in a very different way.

10 mintues after running through my usual list of ideas and concerns while laying in bed this a.m., I finally felt like it was acceptable to open my eyes. Looking to see if Nate was still in the room and were Autumn was lying – both were found and both I found amusing: We currently sleep on 5 felted wool layers on the floor. She was laying at the corner with one arm extended onto the to floor and one foot propped-up against the opposite leg: full cheeks, messy puffballs, super cute. Nate was directly underneath her which is also amusing. : )

My mind went back to baby’s positioning in my womb and my concerns about it, even at only 27 weeks. Autumn was double footling breech, so this is a biggy for me.
I start taking those concerns to Him even though it feels “off.” Much like I’m a dud of a daughter who mostly just disappoints while choosing her own thing, except when I come back asking for something I need.

Ouch.

It’s unfamiliar territory, truly. I rarely felt like I disappointed my earthly (adoptive, grand)parents – they were thrilled that I tended to follow the rules, went to church, got good grades, and showed no interest in parties, substance abuse, or the “wrong crowd.” It was another story with my bio mom – before age 13 I can’t say I felt she saw me much at all, one of the many downsides to being a mother with a drug addiction.

Alright, where was I?

Oh yeah, being a screw up daughter (or at least feeling that way. It’s a weird dynamic having 3 parents influencing your idea of God and how you relate to Him). It’s not that I can’t have another c-section – yes, a healthy mom and healthy baby are my highest request – but as a girl strongly tied to her ideals, oh how badly I want this to be a smooth transition for my family, for Autumn.

So I focus on praying for that instead – not for a certain type of birth, or even what the transition should look like according to me (or the books and articles I’ve read), but really simply — for grace.

During our road trip to Ohio, I watched the Chronicles of Narnia. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it – (maybe since it first came out?) and I was interested to see if I had any different take aways this time. I did. My favorite part was when Aslan roared for the 1st time. I had to pause the film so I could cry.

I want a Jesus like that.

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Our parents are a big deal. They shape our ideas and views of God more by who they are than what’s said by them. Their interactions with us create synapses in our brain that make it easy, or more difficult, for us to believe that God really is who He says He is.

how it makes me FEEL: like life is good and rich and worth treasuring. like taking the time to relish these things creates a sacred pause – time almost freezes for just a second. the tea makes me reminds me of Sally Clarkson and her family and makes me wonder and hope that I’m becoming more like her and realize that I am at the same time.

I’m still at an elementary level in my learning and have only been to one church and completed one catechism, so I’m asking for grace. Please correct me if you notice something “off” but for the most part, read this as what resonates with *me* not necessarily an exhaustive, well-explained guide.

My heart yearns for the people of my generation to rediscover 1st century Jesus in the 21st century and His unfailing Good News. Anglicanism is how I feel lead to continue in that — but it is in NO way the only way to do that! For me passion and excitement translate into a *lot* of talking and sharing. I have a lot of joy in my heart concerning this new Way, but as Thomas McKenzie points out in The Anglican Way (such a good book, all the quotes in this post are from it, unless otherwise mentioned):

“It’s best to put wine into the right kind of cup, but the cup isn’t the most important thing. The wine is what matters. The Anglican Way is a cup. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the wine. The Anglican Way is a good cup into which to pour this most magnificent of wines, but it isn’t nearly as important as the wine itself. It isn’t the only kind of glass you could use, but it is a good one, and one that does a nice job of allowing the wine to be experienced as it was meant to be.”

So what I love:

{http://www.anglicancommunion.org/}

Liturgy :: I feel like I won’t be able to come up with a way to express this properly, so I’ll say this: beautiful language, saturated in Scripture, time-honored, prayed among christians all over the world. It’s rhythmic in that there’s prayers for morning, noon, evening, and before bed – which can help to reorient me back to God throughout the day and weave Him into our home.

Beauty :: Anglicans embrace how beauty can act as a “window into heaven” that points our souls back to God. An incredible painting, a good cup of coffee, a fall afternoon. It really resonated with me in a One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp way and has helped me to embrace what makes me feel alive, instead of putting it down as impractical and expensive.

In Part 1, I wrote about how Nathan and I had come to love Jesus and hate what the American Church had become.

I ended by sharing that God used the Liturgy to guide Nathan and I into a new Way:

It was a couple months after we moved into our new house: money was tight, I was still getting used to our 3rd move in 18 months, we were experiencing record rains, the city of Austin actually flooded, and boxes and scorpions abounded.

Scrolling through facebook I saw an eye-catching photo for an event at a church about the Liturgy. My interest was sparked because Nathan and I had purchased The Book of Common Prayer in January to create rhythms and weave God into our home. We loved its beautiful language and knowing that Christians all over the world were saying nearly the same prayers – it seemed like it would be a great fit. May came and we still didn’t fully know about all of its history or how to fully use it to enrich our spiritual lives.

By the spring of 2011, Nathan and I had become completely disillusioned with “church.” We were tired of “ok-yeah-we-already-know” sermons and being a part of churches that looked nothing like Jesus or the movement of His early followers.

Part I was about missing Ohio, and Part II talked about why we chose Texas. My entire blog catalogs our past year in Austin, Tx, but this post is a quick snapshot into what Austin has to offer: the good, the bad, and the ugly. *Spoiler Alert!: I thank Nathan about once a week for leading us here.*

I’m currently writing a couple posts: one on why we chose to move to Texas, and one that’s a reflection of Austin. While Nate and I love it here, I wanted to take some blog space and talk a bit about Ohio = )

Morgan Reid

I'm wife and mama learning how to love Jesus, and love on others the way He does.
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Into crunchy and natural living; mindful parenting; social justice; and environmental advocacy. I like anything domestic (decorating, fabric arts, etc), Monet's art work, photography, ASL, and having real connections with other humans. (:
Currently living in Austin, loving all the 'weird.' Counting gifts and enjoying God. ‡
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MBTI: xSFJ. Enneagram Type 6.