#1. Did you see ticknart‘s suggestion on this post? Does that work for you?

#2. I know you all read, and I love you for it. I mean, I pretty much know who comes here, but I don’t really check my stats anymore (NOT HEALTHY), so anytime you want to remind me, I’d love that, too.

#3. My son is a comic genius, but in a way that you’d have to see to believe.

#4. I tried Googling myself today (damn- that just sounds dirty). I can tell you for sure that none of those girls with my name are me. From the looks of the pictures, though, they really ARE dirty. Feel free to imagine me as the hott, brunette ones as long as you understand that it’s pure fantasy.

#5. BlogHer. SHEESH! It’s going to be huge. It’s totally sold out, people. That’s 1000 (mostly) women in the S.F. Westin this weekend! If you are single and looking for a girlfriend, you could do worse than checking out this scene. 1000 smart, funny chicks in one place? Who wouldn’t want to get in on that?! Just know that many of them are probably not from San Francisco, or even California.

#6. I AM for California, but I am unavailable. Stop crying. Remember- I’m NOT that one on the Google search. I won’t do that stuff. Not with you, anyway.

#7. For those of you attending BlogHer, I will be working at the registration desk from 7 to 12 each day. I am 5’10,” brunette, have a large smile and big eyes, and could stand to lose a fewseveral many many pounds, though I’m fairly proportional, so it’s harder to tell. I talk a lot like an idiot when I’m nervous and I use my hands a lot. My sense of humor is INCREDIBLY inappropriate. I often think that things are funny when no one else does. If you want to have a laugh, invite me out dancing or to karaoke and I can nearly guarantee that I’ll make an ass out of myself at some point. Good times…

#8. I do not snore in my sleep. I do drool a bit. Sometimes a lot. But what do you care? You’re not sleeping with me! Only this woman is sleeping with me, and we have separate beds. (Or so she thinks! Hehehe…)(Okay, yes- we really do.)

#9. I’m so excited that I can’t actually think of anything else to say. I’ll be heading down to S.F. on Thursday, but I have a HUGE week of work before that. I’m feeling very overwhelmed. Posting may be spotty (as opposed to…?). But I’m taking my camera, and there will be a lot of blackmail photographic evidence of my boobery (but NOT my boobs!) when I return.

Me: Hmmm… I wonder why I hardly ever get comments here? And why, after 5 years of blogging, I’m still pretty much completely unknown?

Self: Uh- I think you have to kind of POST once in a while. Commenting on other people’s blogs is good too. Y’know- once a year at the very least.

Me: Ohhh… right… I know! Leading up to BlogHer, I’ll post every day! With really interesting topics! And I’ll be really active in commenting on the blogs of others! And they will know me! And love me! And I’ll have all sorts of friends! YAY!!

Self: Um, Hello! There’s this nasty little fact called “Working full-time” combined with “No computer at home.” I think you’re destined to remain friendless until you die at this rate.

Me: You have a point, but do you have to be so mean?

Self: I do it for you.

Me: Um… Thanks?

Self: You got it.

Me: But you know what would help me out more?

Self: What’s that?

Me: If you could sing along with Rock Band again so that I can record it and put it on the internet so that we can totally humiliate ourselves. People LOVE that! They eat it up!

I am so ridiculously, nerdily excited about BlogHer… I hardly know where to begin.

Yesterday, all attendees were emailed the Conference Guide. Reading through it was like having someone hand me a shoe catalog and saying that everything was a dollar and shipped for free.

We’re going to get makeovers! And mini-massages! And a totebag filled with goodies! And 3 free cocktail parties!

And! Apparently, at one of the cocktail parties, there will be actors from “TNT Dramas.” This means slightly less to me because I’m not sure when I’ve ever even watched TNT and, not having tv channels at all now, can’t even do some “research.”

BUT! The parts I AM excited about, more than anything else, are the following, which should illustrate my TOTAL and COMPLETE nerdiness rather adequately:

1. Free espresso drinks in the internet cafe;2. ROBOTS cleaning up in the internet cafe (sponsored by iRobot. Y’know- the Roomba? I love the Roomba! I used to play with them all of the time in the Home Depot when I was supposed to be working.) ;3. MUPPETEERS! From Sesame Street!

I have wanted to meet Muppeteers and see inside a real Muppet FOREVER. I’m fascinated by puppetry in general, and these people are like Superstars.

And, of course, all of the panels. Of course. It’s just that I’ve had a month or more to look those over, but all of this is Fresh! and New! and Exciting!

And Scary!

Yeah- I’m starting to get really nervous. The one thing keeping me together is the fact that my roommate, Jenny, seems so awesome. At least I’ll know one person, right?

I’m also SUPER freakingthefuckout about leaving Cole for three days. I have no worries that John will be able to handle it- he’s a great dad. And I think Cole will have fun without mean-ol-mommy around for a bit, but I already barely get to be around him, with work and all. I feel really sad and guilty to be taking a whole weekend to not be with him. Basically, it goes like this: MAH BAYBEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I’ll really miss him. I don’t want him to be confused about his mama leaving him. The very thought makes me sad.

So I suppose I’m overcompensating by letting myself be a little crazily excited about what I’ll get to do while I’m away. Sorry if it’s boring to y’all.