Screwy News

A woman from Texas picked up her kids at a pool after she had too much to drink. Then apparently because they were wet, she made them ride on the TRUNK while she drove home. At least one of them was thrown from the trunk when she went around a corner toofast. Charges pending.

He could be the worst Bank robber of all time.
A guy in New York tried to rob a bank on saturday, but left empty handed. So he robbed a Second bank, but again left with no money. Then he robbed a third bank and made off with $50 bucks...robbed a fourth bank and got nothing...and then finally got $399 when he robbed a fifth bank. Five in one day...grand totla $449.
Police are still looking for this idiot.

Breaking Screwy News: a 26 year old waitress in North Carolina got a $1000 tip last month, but they wouldn't let her keep it...their policy is to automatically refund big tips on credit cards in case the person challenges it later on. But after the "Charlotte Observer" covered the story, the customer found what happened and wrote her the check directly.

A 24 year old woman in Montana got in a fight with her boyfriend on monday..because he was talking in his sleep and saying bad stuff about her. So she started hitting him with a shotgun and shot out his tire when he tried to get away. She is in jail.

A 24 year old was driving down the highway outside of Seattle on thursday with no pants on. Police eventually found him hiding in some bushes at a Burger King, where he claimed he'd just been "itching" himself...since he had recently had a Brazilian Wax...he is now facing indecent exposure charges.
Who hasn't done this before raise your hands now.
Screwy news daily at 8:10am on fm100

Suicide Bombing instructor in Iraq accidentally blows himself up along with 21 of his students. Can you imagine what kind of day you would have when you leave the house and say " See ya honey I"m off to suicide bombing class you might want to pick up the kids today"
No thanks.

Last year , a 58 year old man is St Louis was interviewing for a ton of jobs, but kept getting rejected. So what do you do? He sent packages filled with Cat Poop to all TWENTY companies. He got arrested.

A guy in FLORIDA brought his pregnant girlfriend to the hospital..then got arrested for smoking POT in the maternity ward.

In 2009, a woman in England donated her kidney to her husband to save his life. Then, three years later, she says he cheated on her...so now she wants her kidney back. He says He didn't cheat...they split up because they are always fighting.
What would you do?
I guess leaving is the best option.
Listen for Screwy news at 8:08 every morning on fm100

The secret is out. The Secret- have a husband who works long hours. At least 50 hours a week. Why. Their theory. They believe when men work longer hours , it means they can afford a MAID...which makes the wife happy and gives her more time to exercise.

A woman in Brazil was walking her dog....when a PORCUPINE fell from a Lamppost and landed on her head. She went to the hospital, where a surgeon had to remove about 200 quills from her scalp. FYI: quills is a great word for Scrabble

A 33 year old man in Oklahoma got into a fight with his 58 year old stepfather, and gave him an ATOMIC WEDGIE.That's where the wedgie is so powerful, the waistband actually makes it over your head. And in this case it Killed his stepfather. The son was arrested on tuesday. Don't do this at work...It's a real HR nightmare.