I don't really like the word blog, but it seems pointless to fight it, Zis is a blog.
If you want to know more about an Algerian girl who lives in London and struggles with thoughts that are beyond the remits of her understanding, stories of society and social climbers of love and deception and of a status of seemingly eternal singlehood, then you are in the right place...

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Normal!

When you have two weeks holiday and you’re broke, where do you go?
To the bank of mum and dad.

My old room no longer exists; I had to sleep in the spare room!! I was woken up by someone snoring on the bed next to me, assuming it was my sister; I ignored it until come morning I found the next bed empty! When I told my mum she smiled and told me it was nothing to worry about! Spooky!

Ghosts apart, I planned to have two uneventful weeks in Algeria, just sleep, eat, relax and try not to pile on the weight.

My friend Reda and his friend Fifi (short for Malika – whaaa?) suggested we watch a movie, aired by the Chrysalide Ciné Club, entitled Normal by Merzak Allouache, it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people, exposes corruption and bureaucracy, and it was playing at the local cinema in Ryad el Feth, happy days!

Weather was nice, sun was shining, dust flying, my black shoes look now beige, Fifi is driving, quick introductions, Fifi talks fast and non stop, she drives without really looking at the road, she incessantly touches her hair and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world, I envy her happiness, lightness and non-OCD behaviour!

The old banger (the car not the girl) looks like it belongs in the museum, yet Fifi is talking about buying an AUDI A3, she doesn’t stop, rants, cries, the equivalent of £23,000 in cash are ready for the transaction she says, we can’t get hold of the lady selling it, the girl brakes down in tears “I am so unlucky, why is my luck so shit”, she doesn’t fail to mention that she lives on her own and what she does for a living to remind me that she’s not totally vacuous…
Whatever made you think I am interested honey, I am only here for the weather.

Traffic is heavy, after what felt like an eternity of inhaling fumes, we make it to the origin of the problem, I felt privileged, how many times do you ever get to the origin of traffic congestion?
Riots break out in the neighbourhood!
Inhabitants of the popular area of Salembier are rising up against the social re-housing procedures and the shortages of social housing, the social estate of Salembier was being moved somewhere else to make room for more business centres with glass facades presumably and revenue making commercial properties, but the future-ex-tenants are the last to know, I feel sorry for them, “yes but they’re getting properties for free” Reda notes but they riot because they want a three bedroom not a two, because they have seven children and no jobs! Fifi baffled “what the hell are you doing making seven children when you don’t have a job?” but she quickly remembers her own problems “I am so unlucky” she says, “why does everything happen to me”.

Roads are barricaded with tyres and bricks, riot police stopped traffic, we’re in it, Fifi driving and still moaning about her bad luck, she can’t get the car she wants, her mattress is uncomfortable from so much dosh stashed in it, she touches her hair every other sentence, she hits a motorbike, the biker and his passenger get stuck between the old banger and another older banger (Algeria is the open air museum of automobile antiquities), he punctures her freaking tyre with his something or rather, he apologised, huh? Yeah apparently it was his fault! Whatever, I don’t care whose’ fault it is, I just want to get off the death mobile.
Traffic comes to a halt, people get off their cars and start trying to entangle the motorbike from the old banger, the motobike drivers’ leg is stuck, he’s screaming, the old banger is worried about her car, she’s screaming at him; she almost slaps his leg because it’s in the way of her life! by now five cars in each direction are empty, they’re all around us trying to shift the car with me still in it.
We manage to free the leg (big thighs), the tyre is sliced open, I am scared of Fifi and make myself scarce in the back of the old banger (not an easy job I tell you), we hobble to the nearest vulcanisator, she’s still ranting about her damn Audi A3, “I am so unlucky” she cries, of course all I cared about was not missing the movie.
“When the tyre is fixed, we’re going to get my Audi”

Movie cancelled, no one can get through to the cinema, but Reda promises we’ll watch it before I leave…
When your tyre is fixed, I want to go home please and thanks, as for the movie, frankly, Merzak Allouache eat your heart out, you might have filmed it, but I just lived it.

I am not sure what to say about your plans on moving back to Algiers. You probably found the ONE and he wants you to move back. Come on, tell us. Well, it will be good for us since you will have a lot of material to write about. I can't wait...My prediction: I will give you two years tops to see you back to London. Wish you good luck though.

Fifi is a very typical Algerian women yes, I envied her and hated her and liked her at the same time, so confusing, she did my head in with her incessant chatter like a monkey, did not make me laugh ( piss poor) but gave me an eventful day in Algiers!

The art of sarcasm eludes you because you killed its mother-humor. However, that doesn't mean your life is over. Not at all. You can still service those who are of such a mind, and who don't care if the attention is coming from a deluded person such as yourself.

Bad Joke, that is an understatement.Your creative juices just aren't flowing any longer. They ceased when you DIVORCED yourself from me and my in-depth guidance that would've led you out of the deep darkness of the dungeon that is CELIBACY.

Anyone with a modicum of sense of humour knows it's all innocent banter we're having.I kinda love to scratch the surface to know what's underneath. Dz-Chick is a lovely lady. God bless her. There's no more to it than that.

As I mentioned it before, isn't flattering themselves a thing that all living legends just naturally do?But of course I am high on myself. There is in me no defect that would cause a lowering of my opinion of myself. And I have no reason at all to lower the estimated value of myself. As for Dz-Chick, how shall I put this? Well, she would make a very good marriage partner if she can find a man with enough intelligence to keep apace of her tempo. She is one sharp little cookie, but she is also confused about certain things. It might be that she works too hard trying to meet the expectations of others. Not always a good idea. It is obvious that she is frustrated, and doesn't know how get rid of it in an acceptable manner. Hell, few of us do. I have to admit though that I like the little hellcat. In her more tamer moods, of course. Anyway, after our last knock-down-drag-out, I arranged for us to get advice from a very good marriage counselor. Dz-Chick refused to attend even one meeting, and descended into an ever worse tirade of name-calling. I guess the only thing in our future is a messy divorce. I am to the point of not caring, except for our children. I have no idea of what is to become of them. They will probably end up in foster homes. I have another woman on my mind. She has class, and is damn good where it counts. Love you Blue!

How dare you, of all people, should doubt my burning love for you! How could you be so unperceptive of a woman? You seem to be mocking my deep feelings for you. How ignoble that! You write words that cut to the soul. Now you most definitely owe me an apology. On your knees! DO IT

Rest assured that you'll certainly be the first to get the invite. Hell, I'll even let you be our bridesmaid, and we'll make sure that you catch the holy bouquet. Whatever close relationship that you prefer I will agree to. It will only get better and closer from thereon. Will it not? wink

Sorry to say that did not catch the clue from this real story.... some kind confusing. It's just can be understood by ppl live in Algiers not even in south ! Please be more specific on daily issues we face as Algerians and not "Algeroi(e)s" Thanks for taking this positively...Amine

Dans votre passage: « it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people, exposes corruption and bureaucracy » Permettez moi de le prendre comme ça: « it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people AS RESULT OF exposes corruption and bureaucracy »

I think the text is quite clear but at the same time subtle, I don’t need to explain things literally this is not journalism.Materialism, selfishness are all there and the conclusion you are referring to is palpable, you just need read to between the lines, and sometimes, it’s even on the lines :)

As for the movie description I offered, you add « it talks about the disillusion of the Algerian people AS RESULT OF exposes corruption and bureaucracy » well the movie talks about dissolution, corruption and bureaucracy, in which order I don’t know, I never got to watch the movie so I cannot as you did make any comment.

What was as a result of what? I don’t know, what comes first the chicken or the egg I don’t know!Though I understand where you’re coming from, I cannot say I totally agree with your add “as a result” but then again it can true in some cases. Did you watch the movie?

Fifi is not a victim, she’s my friend Reda’s friend, she is happy and lives her life the way she sees fit, I relayed the fact of a day in Algiers, Fifi happened to be part of it, no body is judging or criticising, we’re pointing out facts and making observations.

I am quite taken by the fact that you'll indeed keep "spitting fire at me" which is another evidence of our ongoing love affair.When two people are so strongly committed to each other as you and I are, many unusual and wonderful things tend to happen. You no doubt desire adventure and challenges or you would not be seeking a common ground on which we both can stand and hold hands. It will be a challenge because of the many nay sayers, but we can still do it due to our combined strength. Together we can become invincible.

Ruminating.I think that's the psychological term for what Fifi is doing. It is like a stuck record (if everyone remembers gramophone records) going over in her head, or replaying an argument that happened, feeling a victim of life ('why do all bad things only happen to me'), over-thinking and obsessing. A feeling that the person 'attracts' problems, or believing that problems come in groups.Women tend to ruminate more than men but I can't see Algerians ruminating more than, say, Koreans.