Rick Scott Signs Law That Lets Florida Man Decide What Kids Learn in School

When many of you think of Florida, we are sure you think of Florida Man. The moron who inevitably pops up in your newsfeed for doing something really crazy and you just know before you click the article that the person hails from the Sunshine State. As someone who grew up in America’s penis, I know why there are so many dumbasses: the education sucks. And now it is going to suck even more thanks to Governor Rick Scott and the Republican-controlled legislature:

Any resident in Florida can now challenge what kids learn in public schools, thanks to a new law that science education advocates worry will make it harder to teach evolution and climate change.

The legislation, which was signed by Gov. Rick Scott (R) last week and went into effect Saturday, requires school boards to hire an “unbiased hearing officer” who will handle complaints about instructional materials, such as movies, textbooks and novels, that are used in local schools. Any parent or county resident can file a complaint, regardless of whether they have a student in the school system. If the hearing officer deems the challenge justified, he or she can require schools to remove the material in question.

Yep, that’s right, ANY Florida resident will now be allowed to challenge and change what children learn in school. That means if the random Floridian who has no kids in school decides he/she doesn’t think they should be learning about evolution, they can fight to have it removed from the curriculum. Deputy director of the National Council for Science Education, Glenn Branch, is extremely worried about that happening because so far, science is precisely what has been under attack in the affidavits filed by supporters of the bills.

One affidavit from a Collier County resident complained that evolution and global warming were taught as “reality.” Another criticized her child’s sixth-grade science curriculum, writing that “the two main theories on the origin of man are the theory of evolution and creationism,” and that her daughter had only been taught about evolution.

“It’s just the candor with which the backers of the bill have been saying, ‘Yeah, we’re going to go after evolution, we’re going to go after climate change,’” that has him worried, Branch said.

This is exactly what Florida does not need. The state is already ranked 29th in education and that is only going to get worse if Republicans get their way, which is exactly what they want. The GOP knows that if they keep children ignorant, those children are far more likely to grow up and vote for conservative lawmakers. Smart, well-educated people do not generally vote for GOP candidates because they are intellectually sound enough to see through the bullshit.

If the GOP in Florida gets their way and people start mass challenging science facts, expect to see a whole lot more stories featuring Florida Man.