We’ve Got This. We’re Doing This. Let’s Go.

I feel like a fraud because I struggle with the very same topics I write about. Things like faith and self-acceptance and confidence and loving the shit out of your own life – I struggle with those things – a lot.

And I feel hypocritical sometimes because – who am I to be talking about these things when I don’t even have a handle on them myself? Who am I to be dishing out advice?

The thing is, I write what I need to read. I write what my heart needs to be reminded of. I write what I desperately need to hear.

That’s why I write about things like showing up and working hard and continuous grace. Because I suck at those things and needed to be reminded of them on a daily basis. Hell, I practically need to have them tattooed on my forehead.

I have no wisdom. There are no answers here. I’m not coming at you with a five-step process or three-week solution. I don’t have any hacks or quick tips.

But I do believe that we can truly know something in our hearts and still struggle to live out those truths in our daily lives. I think we all struggle with closing the gap between who we want to be, and who we actually are.

My favorite writer, Glennon Doyle Melton, says that she’s like Dory from Finding Nemo. One second she’s full of wisdom and confidence and truth and the next second BAM – short term memory loss. She has no idea who she is, why she’s here, or what the hell she is doing. She has to remind herself, again and again and again of her purpose and her truth.

That’s what I hope my writing can be for you. A reminder. A little nugget of truth. A hope, a prayer, a wish. My own small slice of guidance to offer. And it’s nothing you haven’t heard before – nothing groundbreaking or Earth shattering. I’m just an echo of the small voice that lives inside your own heart. I’m reminding you of things you already know. I’m reminding you of who you already are. And I’m reminding myself in the process.

My favorite thing to write about is how no one has any idea what they’re doing, myself very much included. I can write a piece about showing up for my family and then start a fight with my husband about the dishes the very same night. I am a work in process. I am short term memory loss. I am constantly learning and relearning. Failing and succeeding. Again and again forever and ever.

I’m not perfect. No one is, especially not strangers on the internet. But maybe we don’t need perfect. Maybe we don’t need someone guiding us from some sort of enlightened, Buddha-esque state. Maybe what we need is someone who’s doing the work along with us. Someone down in the mud. Someone that whispers, “okay, we’ve got this. We’re doing this. Let’s go.”

I believe in showing up dirty. I believe that we are never fully finished, that lessons aren’t learned in a “one and done” type fashion. I believe that if I waited until I had any wisdom to share, I’d be waiting a very long time.

I like to hear from people who aren’t perfect, who are struggling to get their shit together. And I like to hear from them because they remind me of myself. They remind me that I’m not alone, that we’re all in this together.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud. I might not always remember to practice what I preach. I struggle to walk my own talk. But, my God, am I trying. And that counts for something. Hell, that might just count for everything.

Jillian is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty on Tap. To apply to become a Contributing Writer, please click HERE.

Wow, it is always truly amazing to hear or read about people facing reality. It is nice to know that others have the feeling of “am I ever going to live my dream life? OR when is my life ever going to be perfect?” I truly believe living in the moment is the best source of happiness. Thank you for your thoughts.

Great writing and I chuckled multiple times reading it. It reminds me of what I heard Maria Popova once said to James Altchuer in a podcast that writers should only write for themselves because that is how it becomes sustainable. Sounds like while you write about not having it together, you got it together.

Love this. It reflects what we all experience but most never articulate. We move from moment to moment expecting….something. Discovering that something changes from day to day. I am blessed to be much like you – living life sometimes feeling like a fraud. It means that I am, you are, awake. Thank you.

Yes! And no one is perfect. Not even professional motivational speakers. But the fact that you are trying to share your experiences and honest thoughts and trying to influence others in a positive way is amazing, and we need more people like that in the world 😀 I just wrote a blog post about how to get out of your own shell and make new friends, but somethings on the list I am sometimes timid to do because I am naturally a shy person. But at least I try to do these things even if some days I don’t succeed.