Sunday, October 18, 2009

Stripping it all down

The kiddlets and husband are finally asleep... but of course Mommy is dealing with another unexpected date with Mr. Insomnia.

Bastard.

But I'm enjoying the hum of the computer...it's hypnotic and soothing.

A sharp contrast to the meltdown courtesy of my three and a half year old son less than three hours ago.Oddly enough just the other day my husband and I were rejoicing in the thought that my son's tantrum days were finally behind us. Needless to say that celebration was short lived.

Oh my son very much confirmed that he still has quite a few more full out meltdowns in store for us...and if tonight's 20 minute episode was any indication, I weep at the arrival of his fourth birthday in February. I think I'm getting why some parents refer to this age as the "f&^%$ fours".

As I watched my son go full throttle tonight I was so aware of the dichotomy that was the three and a half year old standing in front of me shouting and screaming...

When you strip everything down my son is really two polar opposite people in one little body who's trying to figure and make sense of the world.

One one hand he is so much older than the date on his birth certificate would lead you to believe.

My son is so book savvy...really this isn't just mommy pride talking. He's always been a such a 'little man'...so wise and so smart. He loves being challenged and learning new things. He's all about the discovery and absorbing the world around him. He's a sponge that is always on the go. He constantly asks questions and wants answers to all his what, where, why and hows.

He also has a memory that amazes me...he doesn't forget anything. Read him a book twice and he practically has it memorized. He can recall the events and conversations from a year ago with amazing accuracy and detail...

And in speaking to him you totally forget he's only three and a half. He is a little social butterfly in the making. He has an amazing grasp of language and has a vocabulary that seems to go beyond his age. He's witty and so funny.

But then there's his other side. The preschooler that thrives on routine and order. He is loud, non stop and can be totally unreasonable. He's a three and a half year old who can't relate to kids his own age because he's around adults all the time.

He's the three and a half year old that hates to be told no. He doesn't like to wait and he lacks patience...it's now or never. He's the boy who gets swamped in an emotional tunnel vision when he doesn't get his way...

He gets angry. He has these incredible lows. And for all his book smarts he gets so visibly frustrated when he can't explain exactly what he's feeling or what he wants and let's us not forget the fact that Mommy and Daddy can't miraculously read his mind.

So on the other hand he's just your typical, normal kid his age.

As I watched and experienced the meltdown tonight I saw a lot of myself as a child in my son.My mom says we are the exact same in that sense...we have the same highs and lows. We have this threshold and when it's reached we go full out drama. No reasoning will calm us down...we just have to play it out until there is nothing left to 'let out'.

Maybe it's karma kicking me in the ass...who knows.

Finally it all ended as it always does with tears and proclamations of 'I'm sorry' and promises of no more tantrums and yelling ever again. And kisses lots of hugs and kisses.

He wanted to hug and cuddle so we did, because as my son whispered into my ear...'I love you so very much. You're my best friend in the whole world. This is the best part of your day, when I'm in your arms...right Mommy? .'

Yes, yes it is.

Because in the end when all is said and done, you have no choice but to ride out these waves of highs and lows that is the DNA make-up of the 'preschooler'.