Funny list, Jack! During my "big girl" days, I used to keep extra bags of Halloween candy around for me to eat before the trick or treaters came around. And yes, most of my costumes at the time did involve covering me up as much as possible. :) Have fun this weekend NOT eating your kids' candy.

Today I'm sportin some festive black & white striped tights. My favorite gay guy looks at me with the love of a free-hooker & says, "Admit it...when you put those on this morning, them fat rows of black and white were just pinstripes."

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About Me

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jack,
Who never quit eating ‘cept to stop and have a snack.
Then one day he was standing on his scale,
And he realized he’d really let his body go to hell.
(Obesity that is, back fat, Texas toast)
Well the first thing you know old Jack he made a vow,
He’d ratchet up the exercise and slow down on the chow.
He wanted to get his weight back to where it oughta be,
So he loaded up his stuff and he moved to Bloggery.
(Google Blogger that is, writing posts, makin’ jokes)
Well now it's time to say hello to Jack and all his sh*t
As he chronicles his adventures on his journey to get fit.
You're all invited back each day to this locality,
To have a heaping helping of health and hilarity.
(Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit, that is.)
Y'all come back now, ya hear?