A man says to a woman,’Marry me’ or ‘You marry me’ And the woman replies,’okay’. This conversation takes place in front of many people. Does it make them married?

Answer:

Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

No. They are not married because ‘Okay’ is not ‘Qubool’ (acceptance). The word ‘Okay’ does not give a clear meaning as to what the woman wants to say or what response she is giving, since it has many different meanings, and can be used to send different messages.

Besides the ambiguity in the word ‘okay’, it also cannot be used for Qubool (acceptance) since it is not a past tense word. According to the Islamic law, marriage occurs with an offer and acceptance (Ijab and Qubool) by using two statements which express the past tense, or one of the two statements expresses the past tense and the other expresses the future tense.

In the case mentioned above, the statement ‘marry me’ or ‘you marry me’ (uttered by the man), is an order which is considered a part of the future tense. It therefore means that the woman was required to use a statement which expressed the past tense. Therefore, she should have said, ‘I have accepted’ or ‘I have married you’. In these statements, the past tense is present, and would have made the Nikah valid. But the woman did not use such statements. Instead, she said ‘okay’ which is not a past tense word, and it also does not convey what the intention of the woman is since the meaning of the word is not clear. Therefore, marriage will not take place.

Let me send the question all over again. A few days ago,a woman came to know that nikah done in joke is valid. Since then she has been having doubts about whether she has ever married someone in joke. As far as she can remember,no such incident has ever taken place. But she always keeps thinking what if something like this might have happened and she forgot about this. That’s why she always keeps doubting on this matter.She always tries to put this doubts out of her mind but it seems that she can’t.That’s why she is curious to know,if such thing has happened and she might have forgotten about that.Now if she passes away unmarried, does she have to marry that person in jannah?

QUESTION:

Wa Alaikum As Salaam.

Since no marriage ever took place, there will be no marriage in Jannah between the woman and the man she thought she would have married.

The thought in her mind is ‘Waswasa’ (evil prompting), and she must remove such thoughts from her mind.

A man comes to a woman and asks her,’Have you married Rahim’ or ‘Did you marry Rahim?’ And the woman replies ‘yes,I have’ or ‘yes,I did.’ There are many people present during this conversation. Does it mean that the woman is married to Rahim?

Does marriage take place if there are so many women as witnesses but no men?

A woman once saw the private parts of man in an image or video and felt lust. She doesnot know whose private part this is and with whom she has established hurmat musahara.Now she wants to marry a man.Should she doubt that the private parts may be of the prospective groom’s father and the groom may be haram for her to marry? As this private part can be of any man in this world,Muslim or non Muslim,what should she do?

Answer:

Wa Alaikumu As Salaam,

From what you have written, only the statement of the woman is known. There is no information regarding the statement of Rahim. For Nikah (marriage) to be valid, both Ijab and Qubool (are necessary), Ijab comes from one party and Qubool comes from the other party.

The statement coming from the woman will be considered as the Ijab (proposal), and this needs Qubool (acceptance) from Rahim, which is not present. It is also necessary that those who are witnesses to this marriage, must listen to both the Ijab and Qubool from both the parties of the marriage.

In light of the above, no marriage has taken place between the woman and Rahim. (Fatawa Mahmoodiya Vol. 10 pg. 496 Idara Al Farooq Karachi 2009)

A marriage cannot take place with women witnesses alone. It is necessary that there must be either two males, adult, sane Muslim witnesses or one male and two females. ( Al Jawhara An Nayara 2 pg. 107 Qadeemi Kutub Khana Karachi, Fatawa Mahmoodiya Vol. 10 pg. 620 Idara Al Farooq Karachi 2009).

Looking at the private parts of a man through a video or image with lust does not bring about Hurmat Musahara. This only comes about when one looks directly at the private parts of the body. (Kitabul Fatawa Vol. 4 pg. 364 Zam Zam publishers Karachi 2008 with reference from Ad Durr Al Mukhtar).

Zayd and Samina used to like each other. One day a friend of zayd named jabir asked Samina ‘Do you marry zayd’? Samina said ‘yes I do’ in front of many male people. Are they married now? Note that although all these thing happened in front of zayd, zayd did not say anything nor did he appoint jabir to conduct the marriage.

ANSWER:

Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

Based on what you have described, it shows that they are not married. The question ‘Do you marry Zayd’ gives no indication that Samina is being asked. ‘Have you accepted Zayd as your husband’? Or ‘Have you married Zayd’? The question posed to Samina has other possible meanings. It could mean, ‘Do you want to marry Zayd’? Or ‘Will you marry Zayd’? In these cases, the questions are asking about something which will occur in the future, as to what her intentions about Zayd are. The answer ‘Yes’ which has been given by Samina, simply explains her intention. It is as if she is saying, ‘Yes, I want to marry Zayd’, or ‘Yes, I will marry Zayd’. In this case, her answer ‘Yes’ does not indicate or inform one of a contract which has been done, nor does it say that she has accepted Zayd as her husband. Her answer only shows that she is desirous of marrying him and not that she has married him already.

Further to this, we see that Zayd did not give any ‘acceptance’ (Qubul) to what was placed before him, and a Nikah requires both an Ija’b and a Qubul. We also see that Zayd did not appoint Jabir as his wakeel to contract his Nikah on his behalf.

Therefore, no marriage took place in the situation which you have described, and Zayd and Samina are not married to each other.

Is it permissible for a man married for 18years with two young children to take a second wife just to secure a business deal. The man is saying there is no personal attachment to the second wife because he does not financially support her, he does not live with her and there was never any sexual relations with her. He only meets her for business meetings and they go there separate ways. Also she is free to have a personal life and he does not care. They both agreed to this and as soon as there business deal comes through they will dissolve the marriage. She is getting 25% financial rewards in all this. As his first wife how am I suppose to accept this especially since I was unaware of it until her father informed me who is also extremely upset. She is older than me divorced and has a ten year old child. My husband has said I have nothing to worry about. He indicated to me he asked her to spiritually marry him for loyalty to the deal which she also said to me. Can you please guide me.

ANSWER:

As Salaam Alaikum,

What you have described is a marriage of convenience which the Shariah does not accept. The man is using the facility of marriage for his own personal gains and is not concerned and prepared to fulfilled his obligations as a husband in the marriage.

The manner in which the both parties are conducting themselves shows that they do not believe they are married to each other. It is simply a ‘cover up’ for their meeting and mingling with each other.

In Islam, marriage brings with it, responsibilities, duties and commitment from each party. However, in the situation which you have described we find that:

The man has no personal attachment to the second wife.

He does not financially support her.

He does not live with her or spend any time with her.

He never had sexual relations with her.

He meets her only for business meetings.

The second wife has her own personal life which is of no concern to the man.

He asked her to spiritually marry him.

They will dissolve the marriage as soon as business deal comes through.

All the above shows that there is really no marriage between the both parties. They have conveniently used the sacred institution of marriage in Islam, especially the allowance for a polygamous marriage, to justify their actions. Their agreement to conduct themselves in this manner is null and void, since the above conditions which they have made, are all invalid conditions. According to the Shariah, a marriage which is contracted with invalid conditions will be invalid. Therefore, their marriage with each other on these conditions in not valid and legal in Islam, and they do not have a marriage with each other. The man is required to immediately stop this Haram relationship and repent to Allah for what has happened so far. If he wants to keep the marriage, then he must live with this woman as his second wife and fulfill all the responsibilities as a husband, with respect to financial support and maintenance, living with her and spending time with her, just as he does with the first wife, and keeping her in a comfortable residence just as he had done for the first wife. If he cannot fulfill these conditions, then it is Haram (unlawful) for him to take a second wife.

As for being spiritually married to another one, there is nothing like this in Islam. This is merely a fabricated concept which the man entertains in his mind.

Although it is permissible for him (one’s mother brother’s son – cousin) to be a Wakil (agent on behalf of the girl) for her wedding, it is best that the girl’s Wali (guardian) or any other blood relative who is a Mahram fulfil this requirement. The reason for this is that the legal guardian is the person who should contract a girl’s marriage on her behalf with her consent and as a Mahram, he can enter the private chamber of the girl (as is the custom/tradition of Muslim marriages in the west).

The cousin is not a Mahram of the girl and so, he cannot enter her private chamber; only a blood relative can do so. As such, the girl’s wali (guardian) who can be the father, paternal grandfather, paternal uncle etc. can do the job of the wakil.

I want to know that if boy and girl accept each other by saying main tumhin Allah aor Allah k rasool ko hazir nazir jaan k qabul krta hun n in reply of this girl aslo said main b Allah ko hazir nazir jaan k qanul krti hun is thoes words have any legal standing in islam. If yes after that girl can nikah to other man?

As salaam Alaikum,

These words do not have any legal standing in Islam and from these, Nikah cannot occur. The marriage can only take place when Ijab (consent) and Qubul (acceptance) are done in front of two Muslim male witnesses or one Male and two Females, all of whom must be adults who are sane.

When a boy says to a girl ‘mein tumhin aur Allah ke rasool ko hazir nazir jaan ke Qubul karta hun’ (while knowing and believing that Allah and His Messenger are present and looking, I accept you as my wife) and the girl replies ‘main b Allah ko hazir nazir jaan k qubul karti hin’ (I also, accept you, knowing and believing that Allah is present and looking), then the Nikah does not occur. It is not valid at all and saying such words to contract a Nikah is totally unlawful since it is opposing the Sacred laws of the Shariah. Using such statements to do a Nikah is totally against the teachings of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW), and it is totally impermissible for Muslims to do such.