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What if you could change the world today? If you could make the world better, even by just a tiny bit, would you? I hear you say, “Of course.” And then I hear you say, “But…” But, “what can I do?” or “I don’t have time” or “I don’t know how.”

Making a difference doesn’t have to be big, bold, or inconvenient. Giving back can go hand in hand with saving money, saving time, and creating more peace and connection. Pick one or two ideas from the list below – and try it! The ideas on this list may sound small… but imagine if hundreds, thousands, millions of us all did something small today to make the world more positive.

Tell me how it goes. And if you have more you’d like to add, please share below!

Speak positively. Commit to one day, or even just one hour, when you only talk about the good stuff. Skip the gossip, complaining, and blaming. Instead, notice the positive in others, and take a moment to share it out loud. Ask someone about the best thing happening in his or her life. Start a conversation about the things you are grateful for. Share a funny story, some positive news, or a useful tip you learned. And if your conversation partner is having a tough time in their life, hold space for their story, refrain from jumping in with your own complaints, and give the gift of compassionate listening. Tip: positivity is beneficial whether the conversation is out loud or just in your own head! ;)

Be the kind of person you’d love someone else to be in traffic. Have you ever had someone treat you terribly in traffic and it lingered in your heart all day, or the opposite happened and it reminded you of the good in humanity?Let’s be the change – in traffic. Let someone in, wave at someone to say thanks, give a forgiving smile rather than flashing a dirty look, and follow at a safe distance. These simple actions can create a domino effect of positivity for those around you – and they also make our roads safer for everyone!

Vote with your dollars. Not every shopping trip has to be perfect – but maybe you can choose one or two items on your next grocery trip to make a choice to benefit our community and our environment. Choose products from companies with values you support, buy local and organic, or simply buy less unnecessary stuff.

Talk to strangers. I live in Seattle, and there’s a thing called the Seattle Freeze, meaning that we have a reputation for not being friendly. If you live in Seattle, let’s change that together! I once read a book that included an exercise of saying “Hi” to 50 people a week. I tried it. It was quite a stretch, but I loved it. I became more friendly, open, and excited about going places. I was meeting all kinds of interesting people and my life felt bigger and better. If 50 feels like a stretch, start with one extra person today, or maybe five. What’s your goal for the day?

Ask someone for help. This might sound like an odd one. An exercise I was assigned in a psychology class in college was to try three things and note the difference. Talk to a stranger, ask a stranger for help, and touch a stranger. Then notice the different impact each had. It’s a wonderful experience. I dare you to try it, and just see what happens! It’s amazing!

Lessen the violence in the world. We want less violence in the world and are horrified by what we see, but are we willing to make choices to make a difference? Sponsors won’t support shows and movies that aren’t watched. If you want less violence, stop supporting it and watch less of it. This includes unnecessarily violent news coverage – you can stay responsibly informed without watching every horrific event on TV. It impacts all of us and the kids in our communities.

Choose one item, meal, or day per week to eat more healthfully. I had a great dentist for years, and I loved hearing the conversations around me while he worked on my teeth. One I have always remembered was about shopping the periphery of the grocery store. The edges within grocery stores have the healthiest items, with less packaging and processing. Better for your health and better for the planet. Shop there!

Be kind throughout the day. Whether you’re at work or interacting with someone in their job, take extra care to be grateful, gracious, and kind. Open doors for people, and be genuine when you say “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” Every interaction we have impacts us and the other person… and everyone we interact with for the rest of the day. Notice next time someone does something exceptionally nice or not nice to you, and how you behave towards everyone after that. If everyone did their best at this, the world would be a much kinder place.

Be grateful for what we have. It’s so easy to take our good fortune for granted. I had a big wake up call recently when I walked into the produce section of my grocery store and there was no lettuce because of the recent E. coli outbreak. To walk into a store and see that big, empty row… well, that was quite a shock! It prompted me to think about my sense of entitlement not only to fruits and vegetables, but also that they are nearly perfect! You can make this concrete by writing gratitude lists, and taking an intentional moment to deeply reflect on what you are grateful for – even for something as seemingly mundane as lettuce.

Volunteer. You have so much good inside of you – share it! Share your skills, talent, time and love. Maybe it’s signing up to officially volunteer with a local organization, or maybe it’s helping a neighbor without expecting anything in return. For extra credit, team up with your family or friends to volunteer.

Be present with yourself and others. We hardly connect any more, with others or with ourselves. We live lives of busyness and avoidance. We watch TV or some version thereof, look at our phones constantly, shop, eat, drink, and multi-task. When is the last time you just sat and had a long, deep conversation without interruption or alcohol? Make a date with a friend, partner, family member, or yourself to connect and be fully present in the moment. It’s truly all we have!

One of my favorite books, “The Tipping Point” by Jeff Olsen, talks about how change happens one small step at a time until there is a tipping point, like with compound interest, where those small changes add up to something big. Yes, this is about changing the world… and changing the world starts with you and me. Starting small can set your life in a wonderful new direction. Pick one or a few and see what happens in your life. I dare you! And share your experience in the comments below… and if have other ideas for us please add those too. Together we can do amazing things!

It’s the end of another year… was it successful? Have you thought about your year, your successes and what you accomplished and learned, how you grew as a person or business-person, and what new skills you have? How do you know if you’re on track for the life you dream of and moving forward toward it if you haven’t? And how will you set solid goals or resolutions for next year if you haven’t answered those questions?

Below is a simple yet powerful 5 Question Practice to support you in creating the life and success you desire.

To live an extraordinary life you need to know what’s working and what’s not. You need the habit of appreciating your wins and having a big enough vision to turn losses into opportunities to learn (more wins). Harvesting is a powerful tool and habit, whether you do it daily, weekly, annually… or as a Thanks-giving or New Year’s Eve tradition. It gives you clarity about who and where you are, what you have and what you need to have the life that you desire… and helps you see how amazing you are.

It’s easy to get on the treadmill of life and not be creating the life you want or not give yourself credit for all you do. This is a powerful step to give you focus and clarity… Creating a Compelling Vision is the next step but that’s not until January. So let’s get started on your harvest!

Think of farming… you plant your crops, you work hard at helping them thrive, and then you pick them. You get to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You walk through your fields and look at the condition of them. You learn and plan next year’s crops based on what you learned.

Your harvest is walking back through your year, your project, your… whatever you’re finishing, before moving on to the next big thing. I do it with my coaching clients at the end of their coaching programs to help them see what they’ve accomplished, how much they’ve changed, what tools worked and didn’t work for them, and how to take and use all of that to build their future.

The value of a goal is not just the result, it’s also who you become in going for that goal or dream.

Your Harvest. Look back on your year…

1. What Were Your Accomplishments and Successes?

Often we have a lofty goal or something new we should be doing in our business. Let’s say the goal is blogging. Our first step might be to just learn about blogging, look at some different blogs and read up on them. The second might be to learn about the different blogging tools we can use, the next taking a class or jumping in and trying it. We might have done all this and still not be blogging, or not to the extent we want to. And what happens is, that’s what we focus on… how we aren’t blogging every day. We often don’t focus on all those steps along the way, all that we learned and accomplished. We focus on what we haven’t done.

A couple problems with that, first, who wants to work when their work is taken for granted? If we don’t acknowledge that we’re growing we’re not empowered to take the next steps or play big.

Next, one of the habits of very successful people is gratitude. Gratitude is paying attention to what works, what’s good, etc. They put their attention on what they have and they grow it. They don’t beat themselves up with ‘not good enough’ they focus on and grow their strengths, successes and good… and those in others.

In coaching, as my clients learn and grow and move forward, I point out those accomplishments and what it took. Then when it’s time for their next big stretch, they know their skills and talents and resources… their past empowers their present.

Your Turn! Dig in, think about your last year… what did you accomplish? What did you learn? What new skills do you have now? Were you tenacious about something, showing you can stick to it no matter what? What did you gather – friends, knowledge, social networking, skills? What did you create along the way? How much money did you make? Did you reach a goal you set? And what about those things that that you just felt really good about and then as time went on you forgot? What about those good things that happened, those flukes and “miracles” (often times when we put those in context we see how we had something to do with them)? What do you feel proud of your self for?

Just let this flow. I like to use bullet points. I find it’s hard to start but once I start they poor out, then I get stuck again, then it flows again. It’s just a process. Just trust your way of doing it. You can’t do it wrong. Just start listing your successes… personal and professional.

2. What Were You’re Breakthroughs and Stretches?

Some of these are those big bold breakthroughs, and sometimes these are those things that felt like failures at the time but now that you look back you see that you learned a lot and grew a lot. This is often more the internal stuff or the lessons about your process.

What did you do last year that you hadn’t before? What did you learn, maybe about your self, your life, business? What were some of those work/life lessons you learned that knocked you down and you got back up? What were some beliefs you had about you, business life, money, etc. that changed?

3. What’s Changed In Your Business, Your Life, You?

This is big picture and the results. This is the place to look at the impact all of the above had on you, your business, and your life. It’s easy to make changes and take if for granted, to not realize the change and not acknowledge what you’ve done or how far you’ve come. And it is so important to give yourself. This is that opportunity to really acknowledge what you’ve done and where it’s gotten you.

Between last year and this year, what’s different? What changed? How is your business better? How is your life better? How are you a better person? What have you learned? Who have you become?

4. What Worked, and What Didn’t? What’s Serving Me, and What’s Not?

Now that you’re on that solid ground of knowing what you’ve accomplished and the impact of it, it’s time to dissect a bit. Check in and make sure you’re going in the right direction, that things are working, that the things you’re doing are working for you.

Your answers to this question will really help you when it’s time to set your goals for next year. Think of the farming metaphor again… the farmer looking at his crop. Did he grow as many carrots as he wanted? Did he like the flavor? Do they bring in the money he wanted? Are they good for the land? What needs to change? What could he try? What did he try that didn’t work? All with thoughts of growing a better crop next year.

Now look at your “crop” closely, with the thought of being more successful next year… What were your failures, what didn’t work? What have you been doing that isn’t serving you? Did you put your time and energy into things that didn’t pan out? Were there things that created the desired result but felt like more work than they were worth? Maybe you found a new method of getting customers but found that they aren’t the type of people you want to work with – so the method worked but next year you’ll need to tweak something. Are you trying to do something because you think you should and you just can’t get it to work? Are you wasting your time on something?

5. Celebrate! Enjoy Your Harvest.

What would you like to acknowledge yourself for? You worked hard, I know that because a slacker would not still be reading.

When New Year Eve and that stroke of midnight comes, say and feel a moment of gratitude for all you’ve done and all it’s created. Building a business, being a leader, and making a difference are not easy. You have chosen a path worth walking, acknowledge your self for it… for who you are and what you’ve done.

In 1776 the leaders of our country took a stand and declared that they would no longer be controlled, they dissolved the bands that held them back and kept them limited, and they chose a new life. What if you celebrated this holiday by doing the same for yourself?

The Declaration of Independence came about because a system of government wasn’t working. That governing system was holding people back, telling them they weren’t worthy or deserving of better and that they weren’t equal. Do you have internal governing systems; self talk, beliefs and paradigms that are holding you back? Is it time you declared your independence from those old ways of thinking and being, and created the life, success, and world you desire?

Check out the power and wisdom of The Declaration of Independence but as you read think of that “system of governance” as the thoughts in your head that hold you back and limit you… (I took some serious liberties and shortened this but added nothing):

“When…it becomes necessary for one…to dissolve the…bands…and to assume…the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and…God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of man…”

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all…are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness… That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive…it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

“…experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But… it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government,and to provide new Guards for their future security… to alter their former Systems of Government…”

Isn’t that amazing. They were strong enough in themselves and wise enough to know that they deserved better, that the conventional known way wasn’t working and was holding them back. And… they did something about it.

What about you? Are you ready to declare your independence and go for the extraordinary life that awaits you?! We are such amazing beings and yet we hold our selves back. Like the founders of our country, what in your own life do you need to take a stand for or a stand against?

What holds you back? What self talk, paradigms, beliefs, habits, etc. keep you playing smaller than you dream? What keeps you “governed” and living a life that is less than you are capable of and less than you deserve? The voices in our heads, our self-talk is our internal form of government. It is so much louder and more powerful than anything or anyone outside of us… for bad or good. The sad thing is we often don’t realize that it is our voice and we can change what it says, and whether it is for us or against us. We can overthrow that form of “government” and choose to create a new one… a new experience, a new level of success, a new life, new possibilities, a new world… for our selves and in general.

Change!Those negative thought are just habits. It doesn’t matter where they started or how long you’ve been thinking them, you can change them… starting now. Changing our self talk from negative/non-supportive to positive/support is just like changing any habit or muscle, or any other change in life. At first it may seem clunky and awkward… like working out for the first time after a long stretch of not. It may even be painful and start a disagreement within us or around us (our own form of war). But as time goes on, if we keep flexing that muscle; making conscious choices in our self talk, conscious choices in our lives, and living with the beliefs that we are worthy and deserving of life, freedom and the pursuit of happiness, and we support ourselves in going for those it works and it’s totally worth it.

Some possible new thoughts:

– When an opportunity comes up if you first thought is I can’t, think, “Yes, I Can!” and then look for ways that you’ve done that or something similar in the past. Affirm that new belief.

– Appreciate you. When you’re out living your life, give your self appreciation for what you do. Focus on the good that are, that you have, that you give, that you know. Appreciate you. If you need extra help with this, at the end of the day write out, “5 of My Days Successes” and list five (no matter how big or small).

Isn’t it time we all start living based upon our own choices and our own values. How about with this holiday. Our holidays (Holy Days) can be as sacred as we choose. What if you chose how to celebrate this in a way that really affirms and reflect you and the life you want?

What does the 4th of July mean to you? How do you celebrate it? Have you thought about it and made that conscious choice your self, or are you doing what everybody does or what you’ve always done? And how would you feel if you went against that norm and did it your way… believing that your way was right?

If we are created equal, our voice and choice matters. To change we must choose… before choosing, we need to be conscious and not just do what we’ve always done. Re-define the holidays or any part of your life or belief system… it is your life. Have you thought about how you want to celebrate that Declaration of Independence Day… is it really a choice or an old habit?

Declare your independence from what holds you back… and stand for you. You matter, your voice matters, you have something unique and important to do in the world… start today, where you are, with what you have. Stand for something…listen to your own voice, declare you own truth, know that you are worthy and deserving… that you have the unalienable rights to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, make your own choices and be all that you were meant to be.

A little extra food for thought…

Years ago I met a Veteran who’d fought in the Vietnam War and experienced horrible things. He was an amazing, interesting and kind man. He did his duty for this country, for us. I learned so much from him. On the 4th of July every year he goes way off into the woods where he doesn’t hear the sound of the fireworks because they give him flashbacks of the horrible experiences he’d gone through. Hearing his story made me think.

Add to that my own experience of growing up on a lake, and seeing that lake on the 5th of July. Film and garbage from the fireworks the night before, covered the lake and the ducks. My thoughts… “Why do we celebrate this beautiful country of ours by polluting it”… and, at least for that veteran, by scaring and alienating those who have kept us safe?

There are so many better things we could do on this holiday. It seems that everything has gotten so commercial, empty, superficial, etc. Most celebrate this holiday, that is all about that declaration of deserving, by drinking and polluting our country. What could we do instead? What could you do on this 4th of July to make the most of this day? How can we be like those wise leaders and make a difference in a way that appreciates all that we have?

Two simple ways to build your confidence and your business by being thankful.

Did you know business success is 80% mindset and only 20% business knowhow? Think of it this way… is there something in your business you know how to do and know you should be doing but you’re not doing it? That’s because it’s not just knowing how but having the right mindset to do what it takes. Being thankful/grateful is a powerful tool in getting you in that right mindset, by helping you know what’s great about you and helping you feel a positive connection between you and your clients and customers, can help your business tremendously and make everything easier.

Our beliefs about our selves and about those around uscan make everything we do difficult or easy.

1. Be thankful for you, what you do and what you have.

When we are thankful/grateful for our skills, talents and what we do and have done, we are recognizing what we have. The more you acknowledge and appreciate what you’re capable of and will do, the greater your confidence to do the next thing in front of you. You will feel more able. Even if it’s something you’ve never done because you know that in the past you were successful (or at least went for it) and this helps you take on bigger goals and push forward when things get tough.

What we put our attention on grows. If you’re putting your attention on what you haven’t done or how difficult things are, it’s easy to get stuck or to move forward very slowly. If you put your attention on how great and capable you are, everything feels easier.

Have I sold you on this yet? If so, here’s the exercise.
◊ Every night before you go to bed, list 5 of your days successes. Take some time to put your attention on what you do and on what you do well.
◊ For extra credit, practice saying kind and supportive things to your self while you’re working. This may sound corny but try it… Say, “Good Job!” and “Thank you for doing that for me.” to you.

You have what it takes and the more attention you put on what you do well the more confident you feel and the more able you are to take that next step and do what needs to be done. That’s powerful, and there is more.

2. Be Thankful for your customers and clients (or your boss).

This time of year I think back over my year and the people I’ve worked with, and how thankful I am that they hired me, and that I got to know them. And, I think of who they are, what they pushed through and how hard they work to make their difference in the world… to make our world better. I am so thankful for them (for you :)!

The more I think of them and how thankful I am for them, the more I want to get out there and do things for them.

Whether you’re writing a blog post ;) or marketing your self, how you feel about others and how you believe they feel about you can make that very easy or very difficult.

When I’m working with clients it’s often fear that stops them from going for what they really want and putting themselves out there as boldly as they’d like. That fear comes from either being afraid we’re not good enough (a belief most of us have, sadly) or being afraid that we or what we do aren’t going to be liked or well received.

Remembering who our clients are, getting into that place of thankfulness or gratitude and seeing “them” out there as friendly, makes it so much easier to put our selves and our products or services out there. It’s not rocket science, in fact it almost seems too simple but along with having business knowhow, this is the stuff that really works.

So, here is the second exercise:◊ Take some time to think about or write down what you’re thankful for about your clients and about what you love about them.
Extra credit:◊ After thinking about it, send them thank you cards and tell them.

Imagine how much easier things could be if you are thankful for your self and for “them”. You will feel better about you and the world, and your work should be a lot easier.

Aside

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

Success starts within… with being boldly and powerfully you, with standing in the center of the fire and not shrinking back.

What can you do today to step more powerfully into being who you really are and living the life you were born to live?

“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Thomas Edison

Who are you really?

We are all so amazing, capable, talented, and valuable. And, we often don’t realize it because: one, we define our selves by who we were in the past or based on what someone else told us about who we are; two, we don’t take the time to see our gifts and talents; and three, many of our gifts, talents, wisdom, and insight came out of our most challenging experiences and we don’t consider them successes or take the time to see the tools we gained.

It’s time to acknowledge who you are so you can bring your Whole Self to the table, play bigger, and boldly make the difference in the world that only you can make.

~

The following questions will help you see your strengths and open up possibilities for your career, business focus/niche, and mission.

Often in life it’s a combination of our training, things that we love to do (like hobbies or interests), education, successes, and the wisdom gained through our challenges that prepare us for sharing something of great value and doing something extraordinary with our lives.

Owing what we have and bringing more of who we are into our work helps us do what we value and are interested in, and also use our unique skills, talents, and insights. It makes our work more rich, rewarding and fulfilling, and success easier because we see that we have what it takes and we’re passionate about it.

So, here are your questions:

Looking back over your life, in ten year increments…

1. What were the pivotal and valuable experiences in your life? How did they transform you and/or your life?

2. What were your successes (and best moments)?

3. What were your biggest challenges and what did you learn from them (what skills, talents, insights, and values, etc. did you gain through those)?

Before you start – It’s one thing to make a list, to take it up a notch, tell the story. Sometimes the biggest success isn’t what we did, it’s that we even did it. It’s also the values we expressed in doing it, what we learned, who we had to be in order to do it, etc.

Here is an example from my life. I think of first time I really spoke in public. This was way before I became a coach. I’d done a lot of personal development work and someone asked me if I was willing to share my story. The first time she asked, I said, “no”. It was probably followed with a reason or just an, “I can’t”. Even the idea of it absolutely terrified me.

I thought about it and it poked at me all week. When I saw her the next week I asked her if she’d ask me again. She asked if I could be the speaker. My eyes got big and I said, “That’s not what you asked me last time.” She thought for a moment, laughed and asked, “Are you willing to be the next speaker?” I said, “Yes, I’m willing.” I couldn’t even say I “could” but I was “willing”.

There is a lot more to the story but the point is… my “speaking in public” was big and only a small part of my success. Did I do a good job, yes, but that’s still only part. The real successes show when I dig in. What that day showed me: I am bold and driven. I am courageous and will push through my fears and do what I don’t think I can. I’m willing to do what it takes no matter what. I care more about being of service than I do about my ego. And, after I shared my story, the next person who spoke said, “So, I guess the topic is gratitude”. Wow! That story empowers me. It helps me remember who I really am. It helps me stand up, stand out, and make my difference. And, when I speak now and fear comes up, based on my success, I know what motivates me and I focus on that (being of service).

Another place to look for our skills, strengths, and wisdom and what’s important and valuable to us is through our challenges and hardships.

My mom had a strange habit of leaving me with strangers, either at homes of people I hardly knew or she and I’d go out and she’d wander off to talk with others for very long periods of time. It was a bit challenging, to say the least. And, if you know me now, one of the things you might have noticed is that I can talk to anyone. Also, I’m very easy to talk to and make most people feel very comfortable.

The first skill, talking to anyone, was a survival skill… and I’m so grateful I have it even if they way it came about was very challenging. The second, helping people feel at ease, probably has to do with empathy. I know what it feels like to be very uncomfortable so I help that to not happen with others. It’s now a strong value of mine. Both of those benefit me greatly not only in life but in my business. So sometimes our greatest education, values, and skills come from the most challenging experiences in our lives.

One last thing before moving on to your questions, we often define our selves based on who we were told we are or based on the past and who we were. This exercise is to help you define and decide who you really are. Take some time with it. Own your good.

After writing down your answers, go through them and highlight the ones with the most meaning to you. It’ll tell you a lot about you, what’s important to you, your values, what you know, and who you really are.

And… as with any exercise I share, do it your way. There is no right or wrong. Trust your self and your wisdom. Add or change any questions or the wording in the questions to make them work for you… and enjoy your self! Mainly, just do it. You deserve to know how great you are and the world needs what you have.

Have you ever found your self searching, trying to figure out what you wanted to do with your life, your business, your career, your blog, or whatever it was. I have. Recently, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to say and who I want to say it to through my blog.

I went for a walk along the beach today and it came to me… I have been trying to “find” my voice. Like it was something outside of me and that if I could just find it…

…but my voice isn’t lost and it isn’t outside of me. We all have a voice…the question is, are we listening and are we allowing our voice to speak?

I’ve been keeping mine quiet because I was trying to stick it in a box, putting parameters on it… trying to figure out which parts of me to share in my “business” blog. There are a couple explatives I’d like to share now but we don’t know each other well enough yet… I was holding back my spirit and my humanity but aren’t those just the things we need in business, to bring our whole selves? Yes!

We can get so caught in the “shoulds” and “the way things are” or “the way it’s always been done” and put ourselves in that little box, confine our voice, dampen our passion and our Spirit. What does that do to us and what does that do to our world?

Our voices need to be heard… and our humanity and Spirit; that bold fiery part of us that is alive and willing to do what is right and just and best for all, needs to be supported, exercised, strengthened… allowed.

What I decided is that the way to “find my voice” is to use my voice… yours too. Let them out of the box.

Use your voice. This is our world and this is your life… and it is what we make of it. We can be controlled by outside influences that say we should follow, stay in line. We can be controlled by inside influences that tell us we “should do it right” or be perfect or that we must follow and fit in. But it is time to speak up, speak out and stand for something… to make the world and our world as great as it can be. Use your voice… you know what you want to say, you know what is right… if you’re not sure, start talking and listen to what you have to say.

Years ago I managed a clinic. When I started asking the opinions and insights of my receptionist and my nurses on important business decisions they started to flourish. They took more responsibility for their job and for their part of the whole. Their confidence and self esteem went up. Of course, the clinic ran great.

How do you turn that to you? We get so caught up in following or doing what we think we should, we don’t listen to ourselves. So, start listening… the way I listened to my employees and let them know what they had to say was valuable.

When you get that internal niggle that says “this isn’t right” stop and listen.

The next step is to act on what you know by making choices and speaking out based on that niggle. Whether that is saying no to a second serving, not going along with business practices like Enron, or giving a compliment when the desire comes up.

It’s like an intenea. Whatever station we’re tuned to, that’s what comes in louder. It’s not that the other stations aren’t there, we’re just not focused on them. If you tune into you, tune in to the powerful part of you, that message will become clearer and stronger. This is as true for outside influences versus you personal voice, as well as listening to that powerful, positive part of you versus the negative part of you. What we tune into gets stronger the more we listen to it. Try it for a week, then another, see what happens and how much stronger your voice gets and how much easier it gets to do what is yours to do.

Also, in moments of choice, practice asking for what you want or voicing your opinion. In little choices as well as big. How often do we just go along with something, do something we don’t really want to just because. “What would you like to do?” “I don’t know, what would you like to do?” The more we listen to and value or opinion and act on it, the stronger we become and the easier it is to hear that voice.

Listen to your self. Listen to what you have to say. Define your choices and your life by what comes from within. Show your self that your voice, your opinion and choice matter… build a life that helps you to flourish.

“If you do not express your original ideas,
if you do not listen to your own being,
you will have betrayed yourself.”
Rollo May

Trust your voice and use it. Build the kind of life and world you want to live in!

And me, what did I do about finding my voice? One of the things I realized is that looking outside my self for what I was writing was definately not esteeming or empowering. In doing that I was being critical of my self and I was feeling resistant to blogging. It makes sense. Why would I want to do something when I was being criticized, not trusted or believed in, before I even started. So… I came to it with new thoughts and beliefs. I’m going to do it my way and trust that.

The more I write and grow those skills, along with studying blogging, the better I’ll become at mixing my own voice with what works business wise. And the first thing I need to do is trust me. When I do that, it’s easier to grow and get better. Start where I am with what I have… and get better as I go.

This is a post script, I’m thinking about facebook and using my voice there more too. What came to me is how we question what we have to share, and how much garbage is posted. There is so much more interesting, thought provoking, individual and community building information and conversation to share. Listen to your voice, and your heart, and share what is true to you, what’s important to you. Yes, it vulnerable, and it creates a better world… whether that is your world or our world. Talk about what’s important to you, share your views… know that what you have to say is important…

Here’s a great bit of wisdom from the author Pam Grout from “Living Big”. “Don’t we have anything better to read (talk/write) about. If the 7 million readers of “Ladies’ Home Journal” would all wonder instead, “what can I do to imporve my own soul?” or “How could I make our schools more loving?” the big problems we’re so afraid of would be solved in a year. Seven million people focusing on issues like that would be an unstoppable force.”

And if you want want to get inspired about speaking up and standing for what you believe… earlier today I watched the film “Flow“. [Irena Salina’s award-winning documentary investigation into what experts label the most important political and environmental issue of the 21st Century – The World Water Crisis. Salina builds a case against the growing privatization of the world’s dwindling fresh water supply with an unflinching focus on politics, pollution, human rights, and the emergence of a domineering world water cartel.] I highly recommend it.

What could you complete today or this week? Or what could you just let go of because it doesn’t really need to be done? Having things sitting unfinished takes up mental space and energy that you could use for much bigger and better things.

This was my pile of books. I used the process from the book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” to let go of so many books. It was a great process.

The beginning of this year I got rid of a bunch of books (Over 150. I read a lot.). When I did this, I realized some of my books had started to feel like a “To Do List” or “books I should read or do something with”. I found from talking with some of my clients, it’s the same for them. You?

One of the books I got rid of was Steven Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People“. I know it’s a good book and I tried to read it many times, even bought the CDs, and just couldn’t get through it. I think it’s because it’s info I already know. But it’s one of the best success books out there and I felt like I should read it (also true with one of my clients). It felt great to just let that go.

Then today I was working on something and needed info from the book… so I googled “summary of….” and Voila! I found the summary and learned a few things in the process.

Powerful tips…

1. The book is great, attached is the summary version (I still didn’t finish it).

2. If something is not right for you (or me), trust that. You know your self best. Let go of what doesn’t work and find something that’s right for you.

3. Letting-go-of or taking-on one incomplete a day or week is a powerful practice and can free up your energy and creativity to do the important things that you want to do. Having a list and checking them off as we complete them or let them go, can be very powerful.

Someone once called me Mariposa… which means Butterfly and sounds beautiful in Spanish.

I thought about that… and it fits, yet I realized I hadn’t been using my wings. A part of me forgot that I am no longer a caterpillar and instead of my wings being these beautiful things to lift me and take me to my next destination with ease and beauty… gliding along… they were weighing me down. Like a caterpillar with luggage and the wrong legs to carry it.

Sometimes, when something happens we get off track. Whether that something is personal or professional or something outside of us like the economy or getting laid off, we forget how amazing and beautiful we are, we forget the tools that we have, and we forget how capable and able we are to create the life and experience we want.

Open Up To Your Possibilities!

The first step in my “What Piece of the Puzzle Are You? Five Steps to Your Right Livelihood!” workshop is “Open Up To Possibilities”. I put that step in because people kept telling me their dreams like this… “I’d love to do this job or that, work with this client or that, have this business or that… but…” I’m too old, too young, don’t have this or that skill, etc. (you fill in the rest. What’s your but?) And what I know from working with clients over the years is that those “but”s are not true, they are just fear and resistance… forgetting how much choice and power we have to create our destiny.

So… know you are your amazing self. Now… what is really possible for you. Start that “I’d love to…” leave off the “but” put in an “and… today I will_____(your action step here)_____ because I know I can do it, I do have what it takes, I deserve to have what my heart desires, and the Universe will support me.”

Just like the Mariposa… how must that first flight feel? To have been a caterpillar all ones life, afraid of falling… and then have wings and need to fly. You cannot fly unless you trust your wings, that inner tug inside that says “You are so much more… fly!” That tug within you, that dream of who and how you want to be, is the truth of you. Your wings are already there… use them.

Affirmation: Today I recognize what’s good in me. I know my good and my talent. I take my next bold step knowing that I will be supported… that God and the Universe are on my side. (Vision the ease and joy of flying.)

Recently I met a new friend for dinner. After hours of amazing conversation we finally left. As we were leaving the restaurant, he mentioned that he’d parked really far away. I laughed and shared that I had too. As we walked toward our cars, we joked about how funny it would be if we’d parked next to each other. As we got closer to our cars that “wouldn’t it be funny” became… an eerie, “that’s weird”. We’d parked one car space apart.

This parking lot is at a very big mall (South Center, for those of you in Seattle.) and this was the first time we’d hung out. It was weird.
(And, did you know that Duke’s is non-GMO? Sorry, had to put that in.)

We’re both pretty spiritual and have had our own miracles so we looked for the deeper meaning in the midst of feeling odd about the whole thing. Today he sent me a message with questions and ideas to ponder about the fact that we’d parked one spot away from each other.

“…If one assumes Divine intervention, then the fact that there was a parking space between us could indicate that there is “nothing between us” or “something between us”… the space could indicate an obstacle or lack of an obstacle. It could mean a space or time is needed. It could just be funny and weird. I just thought it would be fun to leave you something to ponder!”

I got that email right before a walk. The walk was an afternoon… out on the beach… in the rain… talking with God about my Calling.

The walk was so amazing and spiritual I’d forgotten the question of the parking spaces until the end of my walk and then it came back to me… the parking space question, thoughts about my calling… and I came to this: That space between us in the parking lot… God brought us that far, the rest was up to us.

We all have a calling, a possibility of who we can be and what we can do. We’re born with it… we are amazing and unique and we all have “something”. And that gap, that parking space between, it was choice. God brought us that close… and the rest is up to us. We have everything it takes… but will we use it?

You have gifts, talents, scars that create wisdom… and in this vast Universe is a place just for you, your Calling. No one else can fill it. No one else knows just what it is or how to do it… only you do. You are that important.

You have everything… the only question is, will you step into that space and be who and how you are mean to be?

Coaching –

That next step, to create the life we want… We usually know what the next indicated step is, if we pay attention. The steps don’t always look like we expect them too; an odd idea, a person to call, something that sparks your soul and feels exciting or scary (in that life-giving way), a thought that keeps poking, that book you’re staring at, a nudge, a kindness, an “everyone should have this!”… if you stop and tune in, you’ll know.

Take a couple deep breaths. Open to what you really want. Think about what it could be like if you just trusted and took your next step today.

What is your next indicated step?_______________________

Take that step. When you’re ready for another, check in again, and keep following that path. Before you know it, you will be clearly on your way!