Today I have begun to find myself on more comfortable footing about the
challenges of developing a new skill. It has been hard sitting in a project
house just kinda staring at a series of works in progress. And meanwhile
i’ve been trying to learn and then also get comfortable with making
mistakes and learning; i’m not a perfectionist. I’m also intimidated and
indifferent with quirky and high end finishes. I also worry that I don’t
yet have a true north about my voice or style.

Getting comfortable with developing the skill of carpentry has run headlong
into trying to deal with my anxieties of dealing with my ignorance about
new things. I apparently haven’t had to deal with new stuff outside of
computers, for a long time-except having kids. Even when i’ve worked in the
creative realm it has been via the computer, so the baseline has been
comfortable.

The truth is also complicated. Looking at things from a sober perspective
i’m now taking a lot of risks. The safe money would be on staying in “The
Game” (computers,) but these days i’m either going to have to get deeper
into project and program management or upgrade my skills. The baptism of
fire that I had with management was pleasing but the commitment was high.
The compensation was also high, it got me a house and a pretty decent
remodel underway, but quality of life was no good.

The truth is that I’m afraid. This is no call to arms. This is being in the
dark with fast dimming light. And i’m nearly certain the only way that i’ll
have a chance at success is to run headlong into the darkness of my fear.
As a person committed to the long game the voices say that I should run
back to carpet and cubicle walls. I should learn my way around another
nondescript building and gird myself for having to climb the ladder again.
There are always voices.

Being into the long play does not mean you’re conservative or afraid, it
means you are going long, you are trying to stretch your resources over a
long period of time. On some level I have to admit that I structured my IT
career around my own planned obsolescence. I like computer support. I like
the access to people, I like fixing broken things. I have no interest just
sitting in front of a computer for a eight to ten hour work day. I did not
want to be a DBA, or a security analyst. I didn’t want to be a network
administrator. I wanted to be the guy who fixed your computer and helped
you. And I most certainly didn’t want to be chained to a phone. I can stay
in the game, but the corporate IT Administrator is being combined with the
Network Administrator. The corporate IT support individual is doing
everything, every job is becoming a catch all, it isn’t all bad, but
golly... Lastly I loved my job and the mix of support and project/program
management was super awesome. I was stretched thin, but it was good, a true
challenge to juggle and make everything right.

I was not afraid to leave corporate.

I was not afraid to give up the money.

I am afraid at failing at my new job. I am afraid to be a failure as a
carpenter.

Why change careers? I mean, why would you give up your whole segment and do
something dramatically different. My experience with remodeling and
carpentry is mostly from spreadsheet and shepherding the vision. I can
successfully remodel a house, that is troubleshooting. Replace this, paint
that, make this bad thing better. I can do that. I’m working with master
carpenters now, even in the role of an assistant carpenter it is
challenging work and every day there is a medley of new shit we’re doing.