** Life has it’s ups and downs. But how we react to them is our choice.**

I have to say, I was disappointed when I walked into my office today wearing a shirt that was a smaller size than I have been in a long while and no one said anything.

I prepared myself for compliments and possibly questions of “have you lost weight?,” or “are you losing weight?” but not one person said anything and it was a bit surprising. However, I am not trying to lose weight for the wow factor though at some point someone has to say something when I am walking around one hundred pounds lighter- you would think- but, I digress, the reason why I am losing weight is not to impress others, it’s so that I can be healthy- healthier than I have been in a very long while.

This is my goal and my vision. I realize that having your best, optimum health is like having a solid bar of gold in your hands. It is worth that much. Because when you have your health, you can achieve and accomplish anything you set your mind to. It opens doors that once were not possible.

This is what I look forward to.

The ability to be lighter on my feet, more flexible, more energetic, and the greater ability to challenge myself to do more.

I realize that you can also make more money when you are healthier because you have the ability to do more. You have freedom. You can live a better lifestyle and that brings more joy and happiness to not only you but all the lives you touch along the way.

~ I want this so badly. ~ I want to engage in conversations with no shame, no apologies, and to be my quirky, crazy, fun self without hiding behind layers of fat.

I know this will be a long journey for me but I have started it and I’m not stopping now. So far I have lost fourteen pounds. An extra three (thanks to my current sinus infection, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise when it came to my weight loss goal) since my last post but I have approximately ninety-three left to go till my goal weight. Yes, I am that big. But I will do it because among other things, I want to see if I can. Right now, though, I am taking one day at a time and blessing every pound that leaves my body for they have served me well but I don’t need them anymore.

I am happy to note that even though I only lost fourteen pounds, it was enough to drop another shirt size so now I don’t have to shop in the Plus size section anymore, when it comes to tops, I can now sort through the Ladies section. This is fantastic for me because it’s been a while since I have had the pleasure of choosing clothing from this section. Unfortunately, my hips, stomach and rear have not followed suit (smile) and it remains in the Women’s Plus section, but that’s okay. I’ll get there and I’m not in a hurry. Whatever happens, happens, and it will occur at the best time for me.

My supportive friend Michael offered me advice when I recently disclosed to him my wants and worries about losing weight. He said “Be relaxed and motivated.” I know. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? However, what he meant was to not worry but stay motivated to change. Makes sense and, as usual, is good advice, for anyone.

So, lovely readers, I will sign off here on another week and wish you well. If you are embarking on a weight loss journey of your own or if my blogs have helped motivate you to join me, I’d love to hear from you.

I started my journey on December 31, 2016. I have started and stopped diets throughout my life and have always had a weight problem. But when my Family Practitioner told me he couldn’t serve me anymore because my A1C was very high and he advised I see an Endocrinologist, the news really affected me.

Yes, I am diabetic. I don’t share this with many. In fact, I really don’t like sharing it because it’s embarrassing to me that at my age I already have Type 2 Diabetes and have had it for more than 10 years. Diabetes is not something I am proud of, is never something I wanted and in fact when I was diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes, instead of trying to eat better and do anything to get myself out of the Pre-Diabetic range I did the opposite, got very angry about my diagnosis and gave it the middle finger. I was not serious about changing and I could have cared less because no label was going to define me. Sadly, family physicians treat you differently when you are diabetic. If you have high blood pressure, you are treated as any normal human being but once you are diabetic they become wary, have a hands off approach and are unwilling to serve you anymore until you “get on track.”

So, my first day at the Endocrinologist on December 28, 2016, I was really surprised to look about the waiting room and find I was the youngest person there. It was shameful that I was there to begin with when most everyone was elderly. There was no reason a young person like me should be in a Specialist’s office and the fact that I let myself go after my mom who was my best friend passed away in July 2015 really came to light. When my mom, the joy to my life, decided she didn’t want to be here anymore, it really affected me more than I thought it ever would. I am a very spiritual person and I knew she was okay, happier than me who was left behind on Earth still suffering her loss but the fact that I could not see her, hug her or even hear her voice anymore really devastated me. I tried to be strong for my dad, who was also left behind, but I didn’t care much anymore about me, about my weight, about my health and with my dad’s failing health, I now took on the work of three jobs (including taking care of my dad by buying him groceries, checking his mail, washing his dishes, collecting his garbage). My dad’s list of chores piled on as his depression took affect and he went from using a cane to using a walker full time. I still have the juggle of three jobs to this day but my visit to the Endocrinologist on December 28th literally changed my life.

On December 28th, the first thing my Endocrinologist asked me was why I thought my A1C was out of control. Well, that did it. I broke down into tears and I talked to him about my mom’s passing. I felt miserable inside, ashamed that I was telling a total stranger my deepest feelings that I kept hidden from everyone else except my husband, and I was in total deep depression and didn’t know it. He sympathized with me and we had a good conversation. He recommended I see a Therapist and buy a book to help me heal in the meantime. I left the office and processed all he told me and decided to do things my way. I didn’t need a therapist, I just needed to make a change and I’d take one day at a time, one step at a time.

So, the next day I started eating foods that were as minimally processed as I could. I actually started cooking, something I abhorred and associate with female slavery. I have very different ideas of cooking than most I know. My dad was the one who cooked in our household and my husband is the one who does the cooking in my family. I do not like cooking, never have and don’t think I ever will. The idea of cooking for hours for a man is not my idea of fun. However, if I was going to make a difference, baking had to become second nature to me so I decided to do what I needed to do for my health.

And now, not quite but almost three months later, though it has been slow going and frustrating at times and I have had to adjust my diet several times over the past few months, I have lost a total of eleven pounds. I am now one pound away from the weight I was before my mom passed away. When my mom passed away, I packed on weight like there was no tomorrow, eating when I was full to cover the deep recesses of pain inside me and I realize this was all out of grief but I am done with this weight and I am done with this lifestyle. I am going to continue this journey as much as I can, taking each day at a time. I still miss my mom, very much so, but I find when I eat better I generally feel better and this has helped a lot with lightening the heavy depression and loss I felt for more than a year.

I thank you for taking the time to read my first entry into this journal and ** I invite you to follow me on my journey as I continue to change my life. ** Have a Happy Day!

You may have heard me mention, in the past, about my friend Michael. Michael is an amazing being and a rare gem. I’m always at a loss for words to describe who he is and what he means to me. He has been my champion when I’ve felt the whole world has let me down, my greatest comfort when my mom passed away over one year ago, and my support system through the daily struggles of Author life.

Over the years, he has shared with me such wise words of wisdom that it would be a shame to withhold the great pearls of truth he has entrusted to me. So today, I’d like to share with you our discussion last night regarding fear and love.

It’s hard for me to do justice to his statements because I feel more what he says than I can put into words but I’ll try, so here goes…

~ We started chatting about the differences between love and fear. ~

He told me fear distances/separates people. He reminded me to do things with love. Then I questioned him regarding right and wrong. If I blindly trust, how do I know if I’m doing things that are right or maybe wrong. His answer: Do all things with love as your true intention and you can never do wrong. If love is the reason for your action then you have nothing to concern yourself with.

Fear is a barrier and often a means to control a person or a situation. It is not love. True love places no limits on a person. Fear does. Michael is a proponent for love. He feels that fear incapacitates and boxes people up in little jail cells where they can never reach their potential.

Love opens your heart and your mind to all kinds of possibilities. Love is freedom. Love is genuine. Love is truth.

Thank you Michael for your guidance. I love you. xoxo

And to all my wonderful readers out there, all over the world, may you be blessed and love, always.

There are so many genres of novels out there today but one of the most popular genres is Romance.

I write in a sub-genre of Romance called Paranormal Romance. I love the freedom involved with creating all types of worlds in one book with beings with unearthly powers while staying true to a basic, romantic story outline. It’s true that every romance story has a general outline: getting to know one another, coming together, separation and returning together for an HEA. But the wonderful thing about romance is that anything else goes, especially within the realm of Paranormal Romance.

Want to explore a certain subject or two and find out what your created character does with that subject once it’s approached in the story? This is what I love doing in my books. My stories with Angels address all kinds of unique, sometimes uncomfortable situations. I like to see how the Angels deal with these very human details of life or average life encounters. For example in Centurion’s book, April and Centurion learn what a passion party is. The conclusion of the party leads to an amazing encounter that none of them expected but fuels the movement of their relationship.

Paranormal subjects also explore unearthly magic and opportunities. Anything you can envision, you can create and slip into a book. The more creative you get, the more captivated your audience might be. My Angels use force fields at times, get a crowd to forget an incident when it might be harmful to them, and even break the rules to assist their mates. For instance, in Jasper’s book, when his mate Tatiana is heart-broken over the loss of her beautiful beagle mix, Jasper infuses her with heaven’s love despite the fact that it’s forbidden, to help her get through her beagle’s emotional anniversary date.

Standard rules do not always apply in Paranormal Romance books. In Apollo’s book, gravity is defied when the couple affirm their love and commitment to each other, in the air. Not only can you create worlds, powers and supernatural beings but you can also add wit and comical situations to captivate the readers’ attention and to keep the story hopping and more interesting. I love the part where April asks Centurion about a substance called ambrosia that is supposed to make humans immortal. Here’s the quick ending to the scene:

“Does anything exist to make one immortal?” April commented.

“Yes, it’s called the afterlife.”

“Centurion! I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

Hahaha. That one always has me chuckling. You see, another reason why I love writing about Angels is because they can say something that is both comical and serious at the same time. When Centurion says “so am I,” he’s affirming that he is serious too but he states it in a humorous, light-hearted manner.

Out of all of the subgenres within the Romance category, these are a few reasons why I, specifically, love Paranormal Romance. Creating exotic and sometimes erotic worlds with superhuman beings that don’t exist (or exist but maybe not necessarily in the way they are depicted in a book) except in our minds is really fun. Everyone who likes romance has a reason for their preference and these are some of mine and my thoughts for today.

Do you know what’s interesting? Most don’t realize how expensive it is to be a writer.

I just finished itemizing all of the costs associated for my writing business and that is the figure I came up with. I have spent $2,668.94, in 2016, just to keep my writing career afloat. This doesn’t include: the cost of monthly Internet, cell phone costs for keeping in touch with my readers and PA’s by phone, text, or internet and purchases I made before I started keeping receipts to itemize, later. It also doesn’t include all the time, energy and sweat I invested in writing my books and keeping my business running smoothly and organized. However, this grand figure does include: purchasing books, payments to companies for hosting me in their events, gathering reviews for me, purchasing countless amounts of swag, keeping up a blog/site to keep in contact with readers, and mailing items to readers that have won my contests and giveaways, all in the effort to promote/market my books, world-wide.

All I can say is WOW! When you look at the grand total, it really makes you think. A beginning writer, like me, is lucky to make anything close to this in the first couple of years… if ever. It makes you consider whether you want to keep writing or not. For this amount of money, I could’ve taken a relaxing vacation in Hawaii, but instead I was trying to promote/market and entertain my readers with the hopes of gaining new readers, in the long run.

Authors definitely do what they do for Love. Like many readers, authors don’t have money either. They don’t have the extra cash, readily available, to plug into their business hence the reason why most authors work somewhere else to gain the money to do what they love on a part-time basis, instead of not doing it at all. Can you imagine if every author realized how expensive their writing career was and just dropped out? Stopped writing. Started using that cash to do something else fun, like travel. What would we, readers, do to entertain ourselves if there were no more books left on the shelves to read?

Thankfully, authors continue to write despite the fact that there’s little financial reward involved. Many unknown authors write great books and it’s a shame they remain in the shadows. So the next time you think you can’t afford a book, take a second and think about the one who wrote it and all the time, energy and love they put into that book that they may never recover in financial gain.

Do something wonderful and unexpected today for an author(s) you Love and let them know what you think about their work and what is it about their books that you enjoy. Give them kudos to keep them going. Authors soak this up like water on a hot day but, sadly, praise is sporadic at times or rare. By telling an author you care and to keep writing, you will have added joy to their day and meaning to their career. So, what are you waiting for? Spread some love and joy today and tell an Author to keep writing!

Check out my latest page on Facebook- everything TK Lawyer. My books, my Author swag and even my handmade jewelry- all for sale, all day, every day just for fans like you.

**No more waiting in the hopes of winning a giveaway anymore. You want it, buy it right now! and get your product at your convenience without having to cross your fingers that you will win a coveted prize.