Well… 2020…

Standing on the brink of May and we’ve been through a lot. I was on medical leave for 6 weeks. About week 2 of that leave, a worldwide pandemic of coronavirus (COVID-19) started to sweep across and sicken droves of people. This called for a worldwide quarantine- which based on where you live, you may or may not be encouraged by your government to stay inside or have it be enforced. In this reality where our commander in shit decides (with a straight face) to get on national television and tell folks that a good idea might be to inject Clorox or Lysol into their veins and some should work to get UV light directly into their organs… you can only imagine the amount of organization that is taking place nationwide to help stave this off. It’s basically everyone for themselves. Luckily NY is no-nonsense as per always and the epicenter of the worst outbreak in America (as per always) because: MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. Someone created this video and as I looked at it I thought… “Now THIS is a NY I could tolerate”. Yeah. It’s DEFINITELY time to leave.

On a lighter note, just about 6 or 7 weeks into quarantine with the 3 of us here together, we haven’t lobbed each others’ heads off. It’s quite a feat. Athena does have the occasional crying fit because it’s REALLY hard to reconcile all of this – can’t go no where; can’t visit no one; school through the laptop; karate and dance through the laptop; why can’t I visit anyone Mommy? I just wanna go outside, mommy. Mommy doesn’t have the answers this time. Because MOMMY wants to know when she can go visit her friends and go “back” to normal. There will be no going “back” to be clear. The “New Normal” is all anyone keeps talking about. Whatever that will be. But if it allows us to go outside and breathe the air (which by the way – smells and tastes so wonderful these days – and I’m not sure if it’s because we’ve been prohibited from experiencing it w/o a mask or if it’s actually cleaner because less of us are out in it futzing around), and be in the proximity of friends … maybe even hug someone (else)? That might be pushing it. They say they’ll attempt to start “opening NY back up” May 12. But then they were clear to ammend and say that meant UPSTATE. President of the company I work for basically has said “Never mind… y’all are staying put till we figure this out.” Brand I work for said, “Fuck that, we’re putting the awards show own anyway…. same date… all virtual.” So… all weirdly different playbooks.

At the end of my leave, I was feeling quite rested. That was the point. Mind was at ease. Not so much racing. And when it did start to race, I’d pick up a craft. Keeping my fingers busy keeps my mind still. My crafting game has stepped all the way up.

TikTok… that’s a rabbit hole I fall down regularly these days. Normally I’m considered too “old” for it. But I learn a lot. There are THRONGS of really fucking creative people out there. And funny ones. And it keeps me from watching endless hours of Person of Interest which is my new series that goes on in perpetuity while we quarantine.

They flew the Thunderbirds and Blue Angels over Brooklyn today in honor of the essential workers. It was so “thunderous” that it shook the house and scared the daylights out of Athena. Which vexated me so to put a post up on Facebook which was the verbal equivalent of me doing this:

My therapist told me I should come on here and journal about a few things but I figure I’d set the stage first for where everything is at. Also – I think I want to just come out and say what’s on my mind rather than talk in code all the time. That’s wearing me out. So… I’ll start here.

At least… that’s what I’m saying at 11:53PM on a Tuesday night because i can’t get drunk enough to go to sleep. *smh* E and I hit the bed around 2 or 1 respectively every night. It’s a shit show.