Faiza: "The uncertainty is driving me crazy"

"I have no idea how this will end, how long it will take. The uncertainty is driving me crazy," writes Greenpeace Netherlands campaigner Faiza Oulahsen in a letter from her cell in Murmansk, Russia. She writes about her experiences from entering the Greenpeace icebreaker Arctic Sunrise until a few days ago when she along with 29 others lost their freedom to the Russian security forces. "Two months in jail is one thing, but then? What then?"

Today is Saturday the 28th September I believe, around 12 o’clock. After 9 days of being locked up and cut off from all communication you tend to lose track of time. I was locked up on the ship from Thursday 19 September 18:30 until Tuesday evening.

Shortly before we were taken to shore, Mannes and I spoke to our Consul, Martin Groenstege. A friendly man who gave us hope. After we told him about our situation he told us about the work being done by Greenpeace to support us. Very moving to hear! And we were very happy to know that we have not been forgotten.

About two hours later a translator arrived with a few more FSB’s [formerly the KGB] and we were told that we were going to be taken to land and had 10 minutes to get all our things. We were given the indication that we should pack for about 24 hours. I rushed off to my room where I was still able to make a quick call to Ben and informed him that in a few minutes we were going to be taken ashore to the "Department of Investigation." I then resumed packing and packed my jacket, gloves, underwear, 2 thermals, glasses and toothbrush. Now, after four days, I am sorry I didn’t pack more clean clothes.

On Tuesday we went, for approximately half an hour, on the boat, with the Coast Guard, split in two groups. After half an hour of sailing we were brought to land where I finally had around 10 minutes to be outside and take in the fresh air. After that we were taken by bus to (I think) the head office of the FSB. After arrival, I was one of the first ones to be taken in to what I thought would be an interrogation. There I sat, on a chair inside a cold room, across from a lady who was busy typing. Next to me was a translator, a young lady, who apparently had studied English. Suddenly she was called in by the FSB, together with a few others, and it looked like they did not have much of a choice but to cooperate. She told me that a written report had to be compiled on the incident. I requested a Dutch translator and was told, "That's not possible."

I willingly stated that I would confirm my personal details, but that I would not say anything further until such time as a lawyer was present. "It's just a report" they said. I laughed and said, "I need my lawyer." I gave them the name and telephone number of our two lawyers. After a while Vladizlav, my lawyer, came in.

Around midnight I was taken to the rest of the group. At that moment, a number [of people] were handcuffed and taken away. After that we were supposed to be incarcerated for 48 hours. That’s crap because we had already been incarcerated for five days on the ship. Handcuffed we were taken away in groups to three different buildings. Upon arrival we were put together with six women from our group in a cell. It took quite a while before we were called one by one for intake; therefore we just laid on the floor and wooden tables, because we were dead tired.

Around 5 o'clock in the evening and after taking my fingerprints, I was taken to my cell. A bit later Camila and Alex were brought in. It was ice cold and the lights were on constantly.

The following day we went again to the office. The previous night I was informed that I was going to be charged with piracy and other made-up stories. Today I get to hear who the leaders of the investigation team are — of course drafted in a Russian document. I requested a translation on paper and a copy of the original document. I was told that I had to get my lawyer to request it from the "General in Moscow." At the end of the day I was taken back to the cell.

The next day, Thursday 26/9 was a very heavy day. We were again transported in busses, but this time in a dark, locked up metal cage, where just one person could fit, like animals get transported, to the FSB office.

There we were placed and locked up in windowed cages and we waited for the hearing. Very inhumane.

After a few of us had had the hearing, we were informed that we were under arrest and would be put away for two months until the trial. Alex burst out in tears. I started to lose the calmness and self-control I had been using the past couple of days, slowly but surely. Two months in a cell is one thing but after that? What comes after that? A sentence of a few months or a few years in a case based on lies?

Everything is completely against the rules. The things that the FSB is accusing us of are full of all of these inaccuracies and are things they are guilty of themselves. Nothing is certain. You just need someone at the top to think it and we disappear in the cell. Martin, the consul, said that I should stay calm because the Dutch have a good communication with the Russians. Good communication?? For what, I ask myself? Over the fact that the Russians illegally entered Dutch territory in international waters? Is the Dutch Government demanding our release? Immediately? The Russians are not even allowed to arrest us and still they do it. They do exactly whatever they feel like.

I have no idea how this is going to end, or how long it's going to take. The uncertainty drives me crazy. I heard that Putin publicly said that it wasn't piracy. However his so called "general" has watered down some of the charges. But still we are in jail. 22 of us have been arrested, 8 of us held in detention for 72 hours over and above the 48 hours. They still have to get me and the 7 others a translator for the hearing, and I hope they don’t find one until Sunday because then I still stand a chance to be deported.

I hope that you wont go out from the cell, because you and others had entered to our water, illigally had gone up to our oil company and after this y...

I hope that you wont go out from the cell, because you and others had entered to our water, illigally had gone up to our oil company and after this you want to be free? Really funny, and of course, how usually you told about how evil FSB and our goverment.

Sure russians have chikdren !!! They do not have children in US ??? Or why they have not signed any treaties according polluting of OUR earth ??? W...

Sure russians have chikdren !!! They do not have children in US ??? Or why they have not signed any treaties according polluting of OUR earth ??? What about China ??? NO cildren there ???? Or too little actions from Greenpeace ??? I want see what will happen when they do same attack in China like they did in Russia...........

Who are the pirates? Your glasses may not be pink but your view is blinkered by many years behind the curtain. Free your minds, think for yourselves &...

Who are the pirates? Your glasses may not be pink but your view is blinkered by many years behind the curtain. Free your minds, think for yourselves & everyone's future which depends on a healthy eco system. Peace

Your comment is SO TYPICAL for a person who NEVER have visted Russia !!! Living behind curtain ........... If there is/was a curtain therte always a...

Your comment is SO TYPICAL for a person who NEVER have visted Russia !!! Living behind curtain ........... If there is/was a curtain therte always are 2 sides .........1 infront, other behind the curtain !

Can you explain to me why russians have been living BEHIND the curtain ?? Do you know anything about life in Russia before the curtain was taken down ??? Probably nothing............. but anyway you talk like an expert !!!!

shure.... some more propaganda... hhrrrchhh..........
that shows very precisely that nobody , even in russia, exept authorities, is supporting t...

shure.... some more propaganda... hhrrrchhh..........
that shows very precisely that nobody , even in russia, exept authorities, is supporting this crap to violate artic 30 human rights. why else do they need to post that crap here??

People in Russia do not eat that crap. All these protesters provoking actions are initiated by some "blackhorse" forces against the sovereignty of the Russian Arctic.
Do not even need to be reminded that Greenpeace is funded by the CIA through front companies.

People in Russia, like anyone in the world, should get their information from independent media/sources if they want to get the full picture. "GP...

People in Russia, like anyone in the world, should get their information from independent media/sources if they want to get the full picture. "GP funded by the CIA" is a (rather ridiculous) legend, check the facts, they are funded by individuals, millions of them, throughout the world. They are totally independent from companies, political parties and religious groups.

Their activists are peaceful people who take action for everyone's right to a future and healthy environment. They have nothing to gain in doing this, except make people aware of the impact of climate change and drilling in critical ecosystems, not just in the Arctic, but in all other vulnerable environments around the world ! They have nothing against the Russian state or any other state !

Whether we agree with the topic or not, I think most of us agree with GP right to protest. It will be a very sad world indeed if we were to stop peop...

Whether we agree with the topic or not, I think most of us agree with GP right to protest. It will be a very sad world indeed if we were to stop peoples right to take peaceful action in support of their beliefs. The problem of course comes when peace is met with unreasonable force or even violence. In Russia the people have a long history of speaking out against those whose ideas they do not agree with, even when faced with violence. I suspect that there is quite a bit of support among ordinary everyday people in Russia...

I wish all the best for the greenpeace- activists!! Its illegal what the russians do - and my thoughts are with all of you!! I signed the petitions to...

I wish all the best for the greenpeace- activists!! Its illegal what the russians do - and my thoughts are with all of you!! I signed the petitions to free all activists immediately and I will continue!! Good luck for you - and you always do a great job!! Best regards from germany!

You forgot: Greenpeace is ALLOWED to break ALL laws and rules because THEY know bets what is good for whole world !!! Boarding a russian oil rigg acc...

You forgot: Greenpeace is ALLOWED to break ALL laws and rules because THEY know bets what is good for whole world !!! Boarding a russian oil rigg according to GP is quiet legal.............. and they start crying if others only use same practise like they do !!!

Next time you see a baby some where sleeping peaceful in its bed........... take away the pacifier.............. and you will get same reaction like from Greenpeace !!!

I feel sad when reading some of the angry/negative comments to Faiza's thoughtful and concerned letter. Do any of us know how we will feel & r...

I feel sad when reading some of the angry/negative comments to Faiza's thoughtful and concerned letter. Do any of us know how we will feel & react to such uncertainty. All 30 Arctic campaigners have put themselves in the situation they're in for all of us, an unselfish act campaigning peacefully for our environment. We do not exist if we destroy it for selfish gain. Oil companies could be putting their money/profit into alternative solutions for a cleaner future.
Keep strong in the knowledge Arctic 30 that you are doing the right thing & hopefully soon your situation will be resolved.
Russia has to confront many human rights issues...maybe you are also high lighting these as well as the unsustainable demand for oil & it's disproportionate value to society.
Keep the faith.

When I read this "touching" letter ............. "There we were placed and locked up in windowed cages and we waited for the hearing. V...

When I read this "touching" letter ............. "There we were placed and locked up in windowed cages and we waited for the hearing. Very inhumane.".............. I do not understand what these people want tell to public !!! I think/know there also is NO TV, NO fitnesscenter, NO video games, NO internet in russian jail...........It really is inhumane !!!! But this is reality how vommon criminals are treated in russian jails. They have NOT build a special one of these Greenpeace activists......... Stand upraised in Court, give your statements, get all the support of the "experts" of your employer........and take the judgement you will get !!! Start to face reality............... Next time if you want to have an adrenalin kick do some base jumping from sky scraper in Hong Kong...........

I think the Russian security forces and government have behaved disgustingly - Greenpeace are trying to stop greedy self-serving people from destroying a vital part of our world and one of the last almost untouched places we have left. The Russian government are only interested in money and have no consideration for human rights. Go Greenpeace, you have made me want to become an activist - or rather the Russians have with their bullying and incomprehensible behaviour.

Again a "great comment" from somebody never having visited this country .............

Amazing !!!!!
Really amazing !!!!!!!!

Again a "great comment" from somebody never having visited this country ............. but giving tremendous statements !!!! What are "greedy self-serving people" ??? People like McDonalds, Burger King, KFC and others which garbage is floating in the forest where I am living ???

Who you are since you can say that russians have behaved disgustingly ??? Where are you living ????

Isn't it disgusting that the US high jacks people from sovereign countries and put them to jail for years at Guantanamo ??? Isn't it disgusting that Israel is building new houses on land not belonging to them ??? Isn't it disgusting the US wanted to start a new war in Syria based on their poor intelligence service ???

I admire russians more and more every day !!! A clever President of Russia has prevented another US-agression in middle East, brave russian security forces have protected their mother land according to russian laws............

And these so called activists just can stand trial in Court in Murmansk according to russian law. Greenpeace there will have possibility to come with ALL their great and heroic arguments and there will be a judgement after Court session................

It is free decision to become a GP activist.........maybe you already can join next protest in Arctic (if there will be any further) and then enjoy some years in peaceful arctic with russian hospitality :-)