10 Tech Blunders That Could Be April Fools' Day Jokes

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A long, tired news tradition was to publish bogus Onion-style
stories on April 1, April Fools' Day, and see if readers would
buy them. But such a drastic move isn't necessary; real life is
always stranger than fiction. And when technology meets wide-eyed
entrepreneurs or people behaving badly, hilarity ensues.

Here are ten too-silly-to-be-true stories since last April 1.

1) Performance evaluations for bad dates

Why won't he call me? Send him a questionnaire to find out.
That's the premise of new un-dating site wotwentwrong.com. It
offers disappointed dates and jilted lovers form letters they can
email or text to their object of affection asking for feedback.
What could be worse than a date with someone who kept picking his
nose or talking about past girlfriends? How about the opportunity
to recount it all in a report?

Apple Kremlinologists went back and forth wondering what the
latest "magical" touch-screen tablet would be called. After an
hour of listening to Apple CEO Tim Cook saying "new iPad," they
were still wondering. Expecting an iPad 3 or iPad HD or at least
an iPad 2 with a disappointing "S" at the end, Apple fans stared
in disbelief, slowly realizing that in the excitement of adding a
new high-res screen and supercharged graphics and camera, Apple
forgot to add a name.

3) Google laptop is just a Web browser in a box

What could be better than surfing the Web with Google's fast,
trim Chrome browser? Paying full price for a laptop that does
only that. Chromebooks run Google's Chrome OS in place of
Windows. It utilizes online apps such as Google Docs instead of
of traditional apps. And many of the features fail to work if the
Internet connection goes down. All that for the same price as a
normal laptop that runs Windows and any apps you want, including
the Chrome browser.

4) Random dude on Twitter becomes new Netflix
spokesperson

In October, Netflix suddenly decided to split itself in two,
keeping the old name for its new streaming video service while
giving the old DVD-rental business the head-scratching name
"Qwikster." Netflix apparently didn't get the idea from Twitter,
or it would have realized that the name was already taken by
Jason Castillo, whose @Qwikster account contains such enlightened
tweets as "Bored n nothing to do my step mom out in the living
room hogging the tv n she isn't watching it."

The social network tries hard to learn about users and connect
them to people who like the same thing — or the same man. While
surfing Facebook, a woman identified by the Associated Press only
as "Wife No. 1" saw a "People You May Know" friend recommendation
for someone now known as "Wife No. 2." Alan L. O'Neill had left
Wife No. 1 in 2009, but never filed for divorce. He then went on
to marry Wife No. 2. And thanks to that Facebook connection, he
then went on to face bigamy charges.

6) Social media network hackers reveal all, on social
media networks

A group of Russian hackers named Koobface (an anagram of
"Facebook") posted on Facebook bogus invitations to watch funny
or sexy videos. Instead, people who clicked unknowingly installed
software that allowed the gang to control their computer. But the
hackers made no effort to hide themselves, instead posting photos
of their office and of vacations on social network sites such as
Foursquare. That made it easier for authorities to track them
down, though they remain safe under lax Russian law enforcement.

Microsoft's Windows 8 operating system is meant to work with both
standard PCs and iPad-like tablet devices. Problem is, neither
does the job well. The "Metro" tabletlike interface has icons for
apps that open up full-screen as on an iPad. But only some apps
do that. Others open in the "desktop" mode of a traditional PC.
That desktop mode lacks the cherished "Start" menu that Windows
has had for more than a decade, forcing people to jump back over
to Metro to find and launch an app. Other operations require more
back and forth. (Here's how to get
the Start menu back in Windows 8.)

8) While Apple fanatics camp out, people who care less
enjoy new iPads

With all the excitement for the new iPad, Apple fanatics, as is
their custom, slept in front of the "glass cube" flagship store
in Manhattan to be first inside when it opened at 8 a.m. on March
16. They should have called the 24-hour Best Buy downtown,
which had
enough in stock to sell to anyone who wandered into the
warm store and waited in a short line the previous midnight,
eight hours before the Apple store opened.

9) People rush to buy Internet TVs, then don't connect
them

Though they may be ambivalent about 3D, buyers are excited about
Internet-connected TVs that provide access to Netflix, Pandora,
Hulu and many other online video and music services. At least,
that's what the sales numbers suggest. But a survey
shows that less than half (47 percent) of those TVs are
actually connected to the Internet. Do the people think they are
somehow connected? Do they even know they can connect?

10) iPhone-inspired plastic surgery

Video is great because everyone can see you — and bad for the
same reason. Hearing complaints from people who said their neck
looked flabby on a webcam, plastic surgeon Dr. Robert K. Sigal of
Virginia invented the "FaceTime Facelift" — a modified neck-lift
procedure that doesn't produce a scar under the chin, which would
be visible when you look down at your iPhone or laptop. Of
course, people could also just hold the phone higher up and point
their chin down, so the neck is hidden — standard procedure in
the TV industry.