5 Random Things I Feel Like Saying

There are 3 questions I ask myself every time I get dressed: Does this outfit make me look like an alcoholic? If I fall down is there a chance my lady parts will be exposed? And the ever classic – is my fatness showing?

I don’t hold grudges. I just hate you for what you did.

How come whenever you see a picture or drawing of a mermaid she is super hot? It seems unrealistic that all mermaids are really good looking. Most likely a lot of them are just average and I’m sure at least a few are pretty white trashy.

The jig is up. I’ll admit it, I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.