Still here, says Cameron

David Cameron has brazenly ignored a trending Twitter hashtag in a move that absolutely nobody could have seen coming.

#cameronresign was tweeted over 80,000 times and supporters are dumbfounded by its failure to affect the real world in any way.

The Prime Minister has also declined to listen to a petition signed by almost 0.25% of the population including Donald Duck, Homer Simpson and Tony Blair, which protesters describe as ‘utterly undemocratic’ on his part.

Internet activist Simon Williams spoke to us of his anger.

“I spent almost two minutes creating an account on 38 Degrees in order to set up that petition,” he said.

“And literally dozens of people liked it on Facebook. Dozens!

“How can he ignore that? He clearly has no shame.

“If two minutes of my time and a tweet isn’t what it takes to change a government I don’t know what is,” he said with a poignant ring of truth.

Simon went on to insist that only 36% of votes were cast for the Conservatives, so clearly it made perfect sense for them to resign if far, far fewer people than that demanded it.

Critics of the Prime Minister said that his failure to reply to an article on thecanary.co saying he is corrupt was clear proof of guilt, rather than him not giving the faintest shit what they say.

When asked, the Prime Minister observed that the Internet is for masturbation, and in this case it’s been political rather than physical.