When all around you are assholes, you are under no obligation to become one.

From Paradise to…Where?

This should be a time of excitement for me and in many ways it is. I’ll soon leave Hawaii for a new life elsewhere. I’ve always looked forward to changes like this with great hope. This time is no different.

At the same time, I feel a deep sadness at leaving a home my wife and I raised three daughters in. There are many memories in this house, enough to last a lifetime.

It isn’t a house alone, though, that makes a family. A house is merely a man-made structure, the modern equivalent of a caveman’s natural dwelling.

A house needs people in it. I’ve always felt strongly that I could be happy anywhere if I were with someone I love.

When my wife passed away, I found living alone intolerable. I finally decided to sell the house and take my chances somewhere else.

The choices are many, daughters scattered all over the country and assorted relatives up and down the Bay Area and in other parts of the West Coast. I am familiar with all of the areas where kin folk live and in many other places without relatives.

But familiarity doesn’t necessarily translate into liking. We can be familiar with a place and yet thoroughly dislike it. We can also be unfamiliar with a place and think we may like it.

That’s how I felt about the Carson Valley running South of Reno through towns like Carson City, Minden, and Gardnerville.

The Carson Valley is a lush farming and ranching area in the shadow of the Sierra Nevada mountain range. The small towns I mention are both historic and modern. Minden has become a preferred retirement area for retirees primarily from California, or as the locals call them, “Calis,” used derisively to describe anyone from anywhere who has moved into the area and driven up real estate prices.

Be that as it may, Minden is a hop skip and a jump from Lake Tahoe if you don’t mind driving straight up the Eastern escarpment of the Sierras.

And that is what we did on a recent trip to Reno. We drove south from Reno, down the length of the Carson Valley, through Carson City and Minden and almost straight up to Tahoe. It was a beautiful drive and Minden was everything I imagined it would be.

The only hitch in my Carson Valley living plan is an almost insurmountable one: no family. None, nil, Nada. So much for Eastern Nevada.

At any rate, I finally decided on a temporary base of operations near a daughter from which I could take my time and check out some locations where other relatives live.

I don’t know how things will turn out. I’ve been seriously thinking about buying a cheap condo in a couple or three different places, if there is such a thing as a cheap anything. That way I can spend a few months here, a few months there, and a few months over yonder.

One thing I know for sure. I’ll continue to write this blog. San Francisco is my favorite city in the whole world. If I had the money, I’d buy a place there and hang around City Hall. The politics of the City are intriguing to the nth degree.

But right now, I’m on hold, waiting for the closing, the day I give my keys to the buyer and he gives me the money. After that, no matter what I eventually decide on, I’ll flutter around like a bird looking for its nest.

4 Responses

It’s hard picking up and moving but I admire the courage it takes for you to do so. You’re starting over at a time when so many people find themselves “ending up.” Most people drift through their lives like a ship without a rudder. You, most certainly, are the captain of life.

I’ve never been to Nevada but you’ve planted a seed in my mind that makes me want to see it. I hope to read more of your adventures and your process of deciding where to land.

Thanks, Rachel, for your thoughts. I think you would like parts of Nevada, particularly Eastern Nevada and Cowboy Country. What many people don’t realize that there are ranches and alfalfa farms all over the state. The landscape looks deserted from the main roads, but if you venture along state and county roads, you may find treasures. Someday, you should take a look at it. rs