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Isha wrote:I would never understand why some foreigners get married to locals to become their in-laws' permanent house guest and then crib about their habits and their pet and their friends and family. They need get a life and get out, have their own house and run it as they wish.

Probably not by choice, but for a certain set of circumstances. And hopefully, it won't be permanent, but a temporary arrangement.

One of my worst mistakes was investing in a bar with a 'friend'. The result was that I lost the lot. This was in Shanghai, not Taiwan. We had a falling out over his complete mismanagement of the place (bad alcoholism, hostility when asked to provide the most rudimentary records, sacked from his other job over honesty issues, etc.). My 'friend' then threatened to steal my interest in the business if I didn't get off his case. Stealing was what he then did.

Bad business all round. So yes. Be bloody careful going into business with friends. Due to the guy being a friend I'd known for years I didn't subject the whole thing to the level of scrutiny I should have done. The sum involved was kind of play money, and I was hoping to learn something about the bar business. Expensive lesson though, and while I wrote it off in my head as 'play money' right at the start, it was more than I was really happy losing.

One of the guys involved (not my friend) used to run bars in Taipei. These days he is over in Shanghai though - getting constantly smashed despite his cirrotic liver and constantly on the look out for more 'investors' dumb enough to work with him.

Second of all, as in all honeymoons, all is well until it is not. It is until the unexpected happens that you will see all grievances surface -ask anyone in any relationship. The girl can chew with her mouth open, that if you love her, you do not care. If you do not lover her, if her pinkie toe is half an inch deviant, the relationship is doomed. - Icon

My girlfriend constantly lends money to her friends and relatives and is always getting ripped off. I think it is because of her huge heart and of course being guilted into it.

She has recently been keeping her sister and American boyfriend afloat because the boy is an out of work English teacher of all things. I guess he is married to a TW citizen so he does not need work to stay in TW but talk about no bloody backbone. I have never met the guy but if I did I would guilt him into getting a job.

Anyway, her sister's demands were getting fairly consistent and my gf was lending them NT$30,000 every other week for a while. They once both came to our town unannouced and called my gf out of the blue saying "hi we are here and we need more money."

So what does my gf do? She went and met them and gave them more money.

She kept on complaining to me about it until I finally told her that if she continued to kepe them afloat they would always put off getting a job. They have a child for god's sake!

So one day my gf is at my house and the moment after we had great sex, she starts complaining about having to give her sister money all the time. I couldn't believe she would ruin the afterglow by complaining about that. We get along extremely well but I finally told her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. She knows what she is doing is wrong and they will never support themselves if she continues but I guess she feels obligated.

It got so bad that my gf had to work two jobs just to lend her sister money. We don't live together and are not even close to that so she will have to learn this lesson herself.

I haven't asked her about it lately so I really don't know what is going on there. I know the sister is not a bad person so I really think her sister is just desperate for money to support the child and because her layabout wangguoren is pathetic not to at least get a part time job to support his wife and child.

Have you ever heard of anything so sad?

"Close up I am big but far away I'm small and hardly here at all."
Ray Davies from The Kinks

wonder wrote:My girlfriend constantly lends money to her friends and relatives and is always getting ripped off. I think it is because of her huge heart and of course being guilted into it.

She has recently been keeping her sister and American boyfriend afloat because the boy is an out of work English teacher of all things. I guess he is married to a TW citizen so he does not need work to stay in TW but talk about no bloody backbone. I have never met the guy but if I did I would guilt him into getting a job.

Anyway, her sister's demands were getting fairly consistent and my gf was lending them NT$30,000 every other week for a while. They once both came to our town unannouced and called my gf out of the blue saying "hi we are here and we need more money."

So what does my gf do? She went and met them and gave them more money.

She kept on complaining to me about it until I finally told her that if she continued to kepe them afloat they would always put off getting a job. They have a child for god's sake!

So one day my gf is at my house and the moment after we had great sex, she starts complaining about having to give her sister money all the time. I couldn't believe she would ruin the afterglow by complaining about that. We get along extremely well but I finally told her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. She knows what she is doing is wrong and they will never support themselves if she continues but I guess she feels obligated.

It got so bad that my gf had to work two jobs just to lend her sister money. We don't live together and are not even close to that so she will have to learn this lesson herself.

I haven't asked her about it lately so I really don't know what is going on there. I know the sister is not a bad person so I really think her sister is just desperate for money to support the child and because her layabout wangguoren is pathetic not to at least get a part time job to support his wife and child.

Have you ever heard of anything so sad?

Knew of a similar situation in Tainan a few years back. Not sure how that worked out in the end, though. Pretty bleak, and I imagine your gf will continue forking out the cash as long as they keep asking. Maybe she should try telling them she's moved in with you and quit her job to take a break and you're looking after her now.

Second of all, as in all honeymoons, all is well until it is not. It is until the unexpected happens that you will see all grievances surface -ask anyone in any relationship. The girl can chew with her mouth open, that if you love her, you do not care. If you do not lover her, if her pinkie toe is half an inch deviant, the relationship is doomed. - Icon

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