Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

The Rank Stupidity of Pat Boone

“I don’t. I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”…Why else would he be hiding all his records? He is spending millions of dollars so we do not have his records..And experts have already looked at and been able to verify that this long form document is a fraud.”

He writes for the Worldnutdaily. What else would you expect?

“Growing up in Indonesia, he used to read the Koran in Arabic..so that was instilled in him as a young boy…he hasn’t celebrated any Christian holidays in the White House, but he does Ramadan.”

This is a lie. In fact, Obama has celebrated every Christian holiday at the White House. He’s also attended lots and lots of prayer breakfasts. George W. Bush celebrated Ramadan at the White House too.

“I have many friends, and always have had, who are homosexual..and Rock Hudson was one. So I’m not a homophobe..but I’ve seen some of the consequences of the lifestyle…everyone who opposes marriage between a man and a woman was born of a man and woman.”

Uh, Pat…everyone who is alive was born of a man and a woman. And the majority of people who actually oppose marriage between and a man or a woman are straight, not gay. Gay people wanting the right to get married doesn’t mean men and women won’t be allowed to get married anymore.

I was born of a man and a woman, the old fashioned way, and you’re an idiot if you think this heterosexual is opposed to men and women getting married if they both want to. Of course, I make allowances for you disagreeing with the ‘both’ part, since, in my experience, fundamentalism is a leading contributor to rape cultures.

This is about your perverse worship of the “sacred” phallus and vagina, and how that idolatrous obsession makes you opposed to love-based marriages that involve alternative combinations of parts.

The reason I’m sticking up for same sex marriages is, in part, to protect myself from nutbars who’d likely find some reason (like my atheism) to nullify my marriage rights if you’re allowed to nullify one other group’s marriage rights. An attack on same sex marriage is an attack on all marriage.

The other big part is that I’m not an insensitive jerk who wants to prevent people from sharing their lives and being happy together. I don’t get joy out of seeing innocent people suffer.

Not to nitpick here but fetuses conceived via in vitro fertilization are technically not born of a man and a woman naturally. E.G. Mary Cheney’s two children.

Of course it depends on how you use the words “born of”. For example you can also go with Shakespeare’s “no man of woman born” bit and say that people brought into the world be caesarean section were not born at all, although they were borne by women.

I also love the “I’m not a homophobe, but” he throws in theree before proving that he is.

Uh Pat – here’s a Wikipedia page to ponder (remember to put down the plastic sheeting before you view. Brains and skull are a bitch to get outta shag).Have you placed the plastic sheeting down? Then let’s begin your education
So, who are the ‘men’ and who the ‘women’ in this senario, Patty?
Dingo
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The universe isn’t just stanger than you know, it’s stranger than you can know.

How come all the Kenyans know that Obama was born in Kenya but the evidence isn’t available to anyone not also born there? Is it something that is psychically transmitted only to Kenyans, or do Kenyans have “birthdar,” which is like gaydar but more accurate?

I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”…

And Christopher Columbus has three graves, and the Wright Brothers have umpteen houses scattered between N.C. and Ohio. Communities like to claim hisorical figures. Consider it the secular equivalent of collecting wood from the true cross; the claim bears no relationship to the reality.

everyone who opposes marriage between a man and a woman was born of a man and woman.”

Yeah, clearly gay rights supporters don’t get how vitally important marriage is for continued procreation. Those bastards!!! Heh.

I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.

I don’t understand why hearing this claim secondhand from a bunch of numpties in Kenya who weren’t there and have no evidence is supposed to somehow be more credible than hearing the exact same thing directly from a bunch of numpties in the U.S. who weren’t there and have no evidence.

I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”

DaveL:

I don’t understand why hearing this claim secondhand from a bunch of numpties in Kenya who weren’t there and have no evidence is supposed to somehow be more credible than hearing the exact same thing directly from a bunch of numpties in the U.S. who weren’t there and have no evidence.

Ahem, Corinthians 15: 3 – 6:

. . . Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. [Emphasis added – MH]

Has-been Fifties star Pat Boone, having heard there there is one last black recording artist with a hit record that Mr. Boone had never covered, is in country searching for a copy of the recording.

The septuagenarian crooner told a reporter, “There should not be one authentic ‘race record’ in the world that i haven’t done a lifeless whitebread version of. I’ll travel to the ends of the Earth if need be!”

The black songwriter, having successfully arranged to have all copies of his hit record hidden for the duration if Mr Boone’s visit, is relaxing in Nairobi. Asked for comment, he said, “I don’t think I could stand to hear him sing my song. Remember his cover of Fats Domino’s ‘Ain’t That A Shame?'”

Sources reveal that while failing to turn up a copy of the recording he was seeking, Mr Boone is now investigating the “Birther Conspiracy” and many Kenyans are having great fun regaling him with stories of President Obama’s “birth” here in Kenya.

” Consider it the secular equivalent of collecting wood from the true cross; the claim bears no relationship to the reality.”

Not if you factor in the theory* of 900′ JESUS with frikkin’ lazer eyez! I did the math, it would take all of the bristlecone pines and about half the last stand of virgin redwood forest in northern CA to make that puppy!