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Baseball Player Traded For $1

The Bleacher Report reports that the Milwaukee Brewers have traded pitcher Brad Mills to the Oakland A’s for $1.

3 Worse Things To Trade From Milwaukee To Oakland For $1

1. YouTube video of Milwaukee’s mascot sausage race. Oakland is near YouTube owner Google’s headquarters. You totally could have got that video for free, Oakland!

2. One of the sausages from Milwaukee’s mascot sausage race. Enjoy running to Oakland in the summer heat on your $1 budget, in a hot costume, through the vulture-filled desert!

3. Former Milwaukee Brewers Pitcher Brad Mills for some bubble gum from a 1982 Topps Baseball Card pack. Maybe the gum is intact. Maybe it’s dust. Quite frankly we don’t know what preservatives can avoid gum decomposing over 30 years. But we do know that kids have a historical track record for making bad trades with baseball cards, so getting some gum in return is an even bigger insult than one dollar.