Friday, October 15, 2010

WRESTLING

I don't know why having my foot in a cast kept me away from writing. (I don't write with my toes). The lack of good sleep, and a schedule that was involved in a mighty game of "Fruit Basket Turn Over," probably had something to do with it.

If you noticed the title of this post, don't be concerned. I didn't break my big toe in a wrestling match. Unless you count wrestling with a rug while walking around barefoot.

Needless to say, the rug won.

And don't believe people when they say that doctors don't do anything for broken toes. That may be true for the little ones, but when it's the big one, they consider it a critical weight-bearing bone, and they treat it like a broken bone in the foot.

I'm out of the cast, able to wear shoes, and by the end of the month, I can return to the gym.

I was very thankful that I could walk while my toe was healing, although I walked with a terrible limp.

As I limped around the house, around the grocery store, and into church and my Bible studies, I couldn't help but think about Jacob.

Jacob was a wrestler that was left with a limp.

"But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw he couldn't get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob's hip out of joint.

The man said, "Let me go, it's daybreak."

Jacob said, "I'm not letting you go 'til you bless me."

The man said, "What's your name?"

He answered, "Jacob."

The man said, "But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it's Israel (God Wrestler); you've wrestled with God and you've come through."

Jacob asked, "What is your name?"

The man said, "Why do you want to know my name?" And then, right then and there, He blessed him.

Jacob named the place Peniel (God's Face) because he said, "I saw God face-to-face and lived to tell the story!" The sun came up as he left Peniel, limping because of his hip." (from Chapter 32 of The Message Bible)

I'm a wrestler. I think I was born a wrestler.

And, I have many "limps" to show for it.

I'm amazed that God's great love for me would keep Him in the fight. With anything less than His perfect love, I'm sure He would definitely have given up and walked away.

He always holds me tight. He holds me tight even when I want to run away.

When Seth was about two and a half, he and Jim made a trip to the hardware store. Seth had this terrible habit of throwing his head backwards when he was upset and throwing a fit. That day in the hardware store he wanted to go one way, a way Jim thought was dangerous. When Jim wouldn't let go of Seth's hand, he started to throw his head backward toward the hard, concrete floor. Jim instinctively held on tighter to Seth's hand to keep him from hitting his head on the floor.

Seth's head didn't hit the floor, but in his dad's rescuing attempt, Seth's little wrist became dislocated.

Of course, we rushed him to the pediatrician, where by then his wrist was back in place and everything was fine. But for days, Seth would point to his wrist and say, "Daddy "dooed" it. Daddy "dooed" it."

It was true. His daddy had "dooed" it. And, Jim had "dooed" it for Seth's own good. He "dooed" it out of his love for Seth.

"Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalm 37:24

I can point to my limps and say, "My Daddy "dooed" it." But most of my limps I did to myself.

Even in those, "limps" that came because of rebellion, selfishness and good old stupidity, I know that My Daddy allowed them. That He allowed them for my good. That He allowed them out of His love for me.

The first thing I tell people about myself on the sidebar of this blog, is that I've spent most of my life running away from God.

One of the greatest blessings of going through life with my limps is that I can no longer run away from God.

Oh, believe me, there are times when I try. Times when the old self wants to run. It's just I can't get far away. Not with my limps.

My limps are the very things that keep me close to My Father. That keeps me close to My God.

As the old hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" says . . .

Let Thy goodness like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave The God I love.

Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above.

That's what God did for Jacob when he touched his hip and left him with a limp.

And, that's what God has done for me.

He's taken all my limps, all my scars, all my brokenness . . . and He has used them to bind me closely to Him.

ABOUT CHERI

I have spent most of my life running away from God. But when our youngest son suffered a traumatic brain injury in December of 2003, I quit running away. I ran to Him and I found Him waiting for me. Waiting with amazing love and mercy. I realized that the god I had been running away from all those years, was not God at all. The posts on this blog are little windows into this new life I am living. A life that can only be lived by faith. Faith in the Father that I found... waiting for me. Feel free to visit. To comment or not. Watch as He continues to turn our mourning into dancing.

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Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. Psalm 103:2-5