In praise of corruption

The church and trade unions are not against corruption. Priests have always been among the most corrupt. For starters, they make a living out of selling a fiction, from which they gain social status and financial rewards. The trade union leader is no better. He takes the gifts of the corporation and transfers it to his wife and children for safekeeping. We can also attest to the corruptible nature of many shop stewards. They do not hesitate to take the gift of promotion from management to sell out their comrades.

So, what is the recent fuss really about? First, it is just about canvassing for more members. This is their mass marketing campaign for the year. Second, they are against black corruption.

Black corruption? What does the term mean? Does corruption even have a colour? If it does, does it differ from white corruption? Is the notion of white corruption even conceivable? Is the thought of white corruption not in itself blasphemous?

Nkandla provides some clues. Compare it to Buckingham Palace. The wealth to build this Palace came from corrupt activities – some historians, even claim piracy. Yet, many white South Africans, view it as a sacred site, and treat the Royal Family with great reverence. The Palace has achieved pilgrimage status: “One must view Buckingham Palace at least once in your lifetime, my dear.” If you take Nkandla’s architecture, it does not even come close to matching the Sibaya casino, let alone Buckingham Palace. It is not, nearly ceremonial or audacious enough for us to visit, or to take even just a peek. The first problem with Black corruption then, is that it lacks style.

The language game of the white constructed corporation provides further clues. The term, externality, is used to justify the destruction of natural habitat. Bribes are called rebates. Free holidays are called international conferences, or overseas plant tours. When they overcharge you, they make super profits in a bull market. When they fire you for bigger executive bonuses, they call it rightsizing or downsizing, and so we can go on. Black corruption on the other hand is much too careless with words. The second problem with Black corruption, is that it lacks, finesse with words.

Once you have the right style and words, you need to make it stick. Imagine if our national anthem had a line: “God save the President, God save the President…”. If many white people, apparently blessed with remarkable IQ producing genes and better education believe in this kind of nonsense when it is repeated often enough, what chance is there for us, 'inferior' black people. The third problem with Black corruption then, is that it lacks a memorable song.

Black corruption has a vulgar dance: what it really needs – to make more of us, suckers – is the white style, the white words, and the white song.

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