Life in Germany, compared to my real home in the States, can be complicated when you don’t know the rules. Here are a few things that you shouldn’t say or do in Germany, unless you want trouble!

1. Calling someone an asshole in Germany is an insult which can be brought before the courts and, depending on your income, result in a fine of up to three thousand Euro.

2. It is illegal to call a policeman an Old Sock.

3. There are two forms of addressing people in German: Sie (formal) and Du (friendly for family and friends and most work colleagues). It is an insult to speak to a civil servant, especially a policeman, using the friendly Du form of speech.

4. The aok symbol we use – thumb and forefinger in a circle with the other fingers pointing out – means asshole in Germany.

5. Wearing or displaying a swastika is illegal in Germany, unless it is marked with a clear red line through the center, like a traffic sign.

6. Possession of Adolf Hitler’s book Mein Kampf is illegal unless you can prove it is for research purposes.

7. It is illegal to ride a bicycle on the road in Germany where a bicycle path has been built it must be used.

8. It is illegal to run out of fuel on the freeway.

9. A pillow is considered a passive weapon in Germany, so pillow fights in dorm at night …

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I once read that in Victoria, it’s illegal to change a light bulb unless you’re a licensed electrician.

Also, “witchcraft” was still illegal here a few years back, but noone ever thought about it until the police arrested a Wiccan shopkeeper. Needless to say, after the public outrage – they changed that law real quick.

I’d also read about the light bulb rule, and plenty of others which just make me laugh. Of course, the States seems to have more silly laws than anyone else … especially when it comes to tying your giraffe to a lamppost and so on …