We were called for a

We were called for a frequent flyer constipated elderly female. The woman met us at the door with a half eaten loaf of bread "for you and the boys back at the firehouse." She grabbed her basket full of vitamins, which she calls her "prescription medications." On the way out of the house, she asks us to take the stack of mail and stop at one of the post offices conveniently along the way. When we refused, the ER RN asked her chief complaint and she replied "here…this needs to be sent out ASAP"