Friday, July 24, 2009

Dear So and So... Still Half Asleep

Dear Water Company,

How the hell does my water bill triple? Then when I call you, you tell me that the amount of water I have used between Dec and June was enough for a year. Obviously there is a mistake. We don't use an obscene amount of water. Oh, and when I went to check the meter, the meter was under water because of a bit of rain. Could that affect the reading?

Severely disgruntled, Kat

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Dear LaLa,

I really hope this chore chart works for you. I hope it teaches you a bit of responsibility. And for goodness sake I hope it helps keep your bedroom clean, or I am gonna lose my mind.

Love, Mom

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Dear Diet Dr. Pepper,

Nectar of sweet sweet life. You have officially become my #2 girl, right behind "My Precious" aka Cherry Coke Zero. What you don't make up for in taste, you make up for in availability. Yes, I just called you easy. Get over it.

Smooches, Kat

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Dear Breath Right Strips,

I can't believe you actually work. Of course, I can't find the one I put on my nose last night. It is probably somewhere in the bed. I should go hunt that thing down.

Badass, that's funny! I've got some breathe right strips to help me not snore. I don't use them everynight unless hubby asks. On the mornings he wakes up and says "Wow, you snored last night!" I look at him and say "Why didn't you wake me up and tell me to put a strip on??" Not my fault then, right?

I think I may need to try some of that Melatonin. I've been having some serious insomnia lately.

As far as The Notebook, I totally understand that it isn't everyone's favorite movie. I didn't even love it the first time I watched it. Then once I heard that the two leads (Rachel and Ryan) were together in real life and I watched it again, you could really see the chemistry btw them and it was amazing. Now that they have broken up, I can hardly watch the movie anymore. :(

Regarding your bill I would have thought you would have learned by now that

1) Our bills always go up, above inflation, with no cause2) The stats on the bill make no sense3) What you can glean from the stats implies that you leave all taps running all day4) There is nothing we can do about it!

My chore chart works. Sophie's so excited to put stickers on it that she cleans her room up without being asked. It is, of course, the first week... so, eh, maybe it won't really work. But we're trying!

Yay! It was me that suggested the melatonin. I'm so glad it worked for you. I swear by that stuff. When we're doing those transatlantic flights it's really helpful in combating jet lag. I take a 3mg pill and give Indy 1/4 of a pill. Works beautifully.

Our water bill skyrocketed this month and we've had the sprinklers off because of the rain. I think it's like a lottery, they just give you weird numbers to eff with you and charge you whatever they want.

My brother dropped off his kids at my house one morning last week, still wearing his breathe right strip. I was like, dude, you forgot something. But he said he left it on on purpose, because they are good "anytime". ?