Tuesday, July 26, 2011

They sure have enough excuses - "I need more space", "I think we'd be better off as friends" - but what are the real reasons men leave their ladies? We get behind the old line, "It's not you, it's me," to find out.

The thrill is gone. He won;t admit it's the whole reason, but it may be well be. When he starts feeling like he's seen your whole bag of female trick, or you're not the mysterious, glamorous creature you were when you started dating, he starts getting the itch to get out. Some men get far too caught up in the fantasy thing. Once that mystery and enchantment is gone-oh, say, about the time you ask him to pick up your laundry-he will be, too.

You've change. Shallow? uh-huh, but it's true: if you've stopped taking care of your appearance once you've got him hooked, he'll use that as a reason to bail out. (Incidentally, he's more likely to stick it out if he's let himself go, too).

You tried to change him. It's practically a cliche by now, how women fall for the "bad boy" with the mistaken assumption that they can remake him into the man of their dreams. It's dangerous enough even to try. But if you actually succeed, you can start counting the minutes until he cuts the cord. In an effort to get back to being the free spirit he once was, he'll change his surroundings-starting with you.

He can't breathe. Sure, he loves attention, but if your adoration starts to smother him, he'll bolt. Ditto when your relationship is marked by too mane spats, too many jealousy-or your constant need for his reassurance of how special you are, how solid your relationship is, and how much you can trust him.

You're not his ideal. He went into your relationship with an unrealistic idea of who you were and what kind of couple the two of you would be. Now that he's realized you're not The One, he's going to look for someone who is.