Opening Remarks in the Sociology Department

by Channie Greenberg

“In lieu of such nonsense, we will work, in union, to discover the best in current investigations of relevant phenomena.

“Now is the time to cross that glorious threshold, to move your priorities from those of summer to those of fall. Collectively, we will create a homogeneous standard for good research.

“Unfortunately, many of us remain more concerned with clothes and with meals than with finding backings for our theses. To wit, I have rearranged my personal schedule such that I have available two office hours, monthly. Jointly, we will prevail over the dilemma of external distractions.

“Even more exciting, the number and quality of projects completed last year was so good that we will be assembling a second program of exploration. Remember, it’s never too early to invite that widow, that undergraduate, that lone soldier, that new neighbor, or that lover to participate as a subject. Street people, however, must be prescreened.

“We can still impact upon society’s experience of reality’s construction. There’s grant money to be had! Besides, although my words sound good, I might even be right.

“Stay tuned for future announcements. Thanks for coming. Have a great week!”