How fitting is it that today’s SkyMall Monday featured the Siamese Slanket while the whole travel world is talking about the new TSA regulations? It seems that the TSA wants to make sure that our luggage and devices are safely stowed for the final 60 minutes of the flight so that our hands are completely visible to the flight crew. Even blankets have been outlawed during approach so that no one can discreetly ignite a device or fingerblast his lady friend. But what about the people who are always cold on planes (Read: 90% of humanity)? How will they stay warm in those cold metal tubes as they descend? These are reasonable questions that deserve humorous valid answers.Thankfully, SkyMall Monday is on the case. I am hereby demanding that the TSA answer this vital question: Can we wear the Travel Slanket during landing?

Sure, blankets are no longer permitted during this time, but that’s because the TSA is spooked that you’ll be whittling something explosive out of the view of the flight attendants. But the Travel Slanket keeps your hands exposed. There are no secrets with a Travel Slanket wearer. He wears his heart – and his willingness to follow the rules – on his fleece sleeves.

So, TSA, stop being so ambiguous and aloof and tell us what we all want to know: Is the Travel Slanket the ultimate safety and security compromise? We want answers. We want the truth. We want to fall asleep on our homophobic seatmate.