Weird guy on social media not even mad

Halifax — Complete and utter crackpot Andy Ford typically spends time on social media throughout his day, but he doesn’t seem to be angry at all, in real life or online.

“He doesn’t even angrily comment on every single status or share articles he finds ‘absolutely deplorable’ or post passive-aggressive memes or fuming political rants or give companies bad reviews,” said Ford’s friend Luke Wimple. “So…why’s he on the internet at all?”

Oftentimes, Ford will write a status about how much he’s looking forward to his weekend, or share a cute photo of his cat. When his “friends” inevitably mock or insult him in the comments for no reason, he weirdly doesn’t get upset.

“Oh, they’re just ribbing me,” he said, obnoxiously unaware of the sincere hatefulness that dominates most social media platforms. “It’s all in good fun.”

Ford follows several satire sites that share their content on social media.

“Not only does he not comment anything rude and needlessly cutting, but sometimes he’ll write ‘Funny stuff, great job guys!’ on a story,” said one such satire purveyor, who chose to remain nameless. “He doesn’t even react with the ‘angry’ emoji. I mean it’s nice, but it’s pretty confusing. I don’t trust him.”

His girlfriend Hannah Driscoll echoed this sentiment.

“Someone will write an opinion that I’m sure he disagrees with, but he doesn’t immediately get pissed off and spend all day telling that person off,” she said. “What’s up with that? I’ve never even seen him threaten to unfriend everyone who’s ‘toxic’ in his life. He’s got to be hiding something…maybe I should confiscate his phone.”

At press time, Ford wasn’t even writing something racist on Reddit or sexist on Twitter, but was instead posting a picture of his homemade pizza with the simple caption, “Yum, looks delish!!!” Very weird indeed.