LETTER TO EYESHOT IN RESPONSE TO A SEMI-HIDDEN WORLDWIDE QUERY
SEMI-HIDDEN IN A PREVOUS POSTING AND CLIPPED AND CROPPED SO IT NOW APPEARS
QUITE OBVIOUSLY DIRECTLY ABOVE THESE WORDS BUT DON'T BOTHER LOOKING FAR
BELOW FOR ANOTHER SEMI-HIDDEN QUERY BECAUSE PUTTING ONE THERE WOULD BE
A SEMI-OBVIOUS HIDDEN QUERY AND SUCH TACTICS ARE ANTITHETICAL TO THE EYESHOT
WAY, WHICH IS NOT ABOUT YANKING READERS AROUND LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING
THE EARTHQUAKE, TSUNAMI, RADIATION, LIBYA, NYT.COM FREAKING CHARGING AT
THE END OF THE MONTH, CHASE UTLEY'S KNEE, THE LIST GOES ON AND ON OF THINGS
YANKING EVERYONE AROUND THESE DAYS AND WE'RE GONNA TRY OUR BEST NOT TO
YANK YA ANYMORE

Dear Eyeshot,

A few words regarding the major motion pictures "Somewhere" and "Clash
of the Titans" (neither of which I have ever seen and neither of which
are mentioned at any length below):

The first thing I think of when I think of Sophia Coppola is "The Godfather
Part III." This is not a pleasant association. Makes me cringe a little.
Sort of like her performance in the movie. This may not be true, but my
memories of my experience watching the movie are of feeling oddly uncomfortable
every time Ms. Coppola was on the screen. I have since read a number of
mean-spirited reviews regarding her performance in this movie. This may
have colored the memories of the original experience. Whatís bad acting
anyway? Who am I to say an actor was Ďbadí in a movie? Sometimes actors
are brilliant in movies and make me feel way more uncomfortable. My discomfort
is no reason to jump to Ďbadí. It would be unprincipled.

A word on principles:

Without principles, we are wild animals run amuck in a wild and dangerous
landscape of bloody mayhem and violent destruction, raping and killing
to get our uncontrolled and perverted kicks. Who wants to live like that?
I ask that anyone reviewing a movie consider this before conflating discomfort
with Ďbadí. Perhaps I am asking for more qualification within the review.
Perhaps I am just asking for a greater exercise of professional responsibility.

And then thereís "Lost in Translation," which I remember being pretty
enjoyable. It also made me slightly uncomfortable, but in a more pleasant
way. Or at least this is how I remember it after reading a lot of positive
views. Perhaps critics are the problem. Maybe itís my over-malleable mind.
Maybe there is a bright line somewhere within the spectrum of discomfort
where a sensation causing experience goes from being enhanced somewhat
by the discomfort to being harmed by it. Perhaps I am a masochist, but,
like, kind of a pussy masochist, who thinks he likes it rough and then
chickens out when the shit gets real.

I will watch "Somewhere" in search of answers. I will likely feel at
least a little uncomfortable. I think Iím okay with that.

Iím pretty sure "Clash of the Titans" has a Pegasus. How could anything
with a Pegasus be less than mildly pleasant?

Hi Chris! Maybe it's all about discomfort. The necessity of
not feeling all so comfortably settled in? Last night I saw a long movie
with Javier Bardem and really needed to pee midway and when returning I
tripped over the feet of some guys in my row and needed to brace myself
by grabbing the back of a woman's chair. After peeing I was really much
more comfortable and enjoyed the movie more, although it turns out I missed
the climax of the movie, when all the Chinese people (SPOILER REDACTED),
and so while discussing the movie after the credits rolled and the lights
came up someone came from behind us and grabbed our seats and SHOOK them
and said something like isn't that distracting? Bet you're startled.
We both thought it was a friend who saw us at the theater and came over
and tried to scare us but it was a middle-aged dreadlocked lady extracting
revenge on me for losing my balance and almost falling while returning
to my seat during the movie's climax. Not being totally insane, I apologized
for any perceived inconsideration etc, almost to the point where this woman
must have felt like the total freakin' lunatic she was. With that said,
I think the assocation between "Somewhere" and "The Clash of the Titans"
might have something to do with living an apparently unflawed life -- that
is, if Achilles were the hero instead of Perseus. The little question
was totally idiotic, since I momentarily mistook Perseus for Achilles.
Similarly, Harry Hamlin, the star of "Clash of the Titans," was originally
cast to play Jim Morrison in "The Doors" before Val Kilmer stepped in.
I saw Hamlin play Hamlet at McCarter Theater in Princeton, NJ, in the early
'80s. Imagine Mr Mojo Risen stoned on something way worse for the respiratory
system than a glance at Medusa's asps, far from his winged steed, wondering
what a piece of work a man might be?! Is Pegasus the name of the type of
horse, the breed, or is Pegasus the name of the horse itself, like
woah
check
out Perseus's pet flying horse, Pegasus?
Come to think of it, Pegasus is basically a unicorn without a horn, right?
Kind of makes Pegasus seem not all that hot after all. Anyway, thanks for
writing and good luck eating your guitar. You play it really very well.

there's nothing to see down here,
we very emphatically wrote that in the title. if you really want some sort
ofsecret special easter eggy something to light
up your miserable life then maybe look here?