Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 02:18:23 -0500 (CDT)
From: comicality@webtv.net
Subject: "New Kid 21" (Gay Male/High School)
And the story just keeps on going! Enjoy it folks, and when you get
through, let me know what you think at comicality@webtv.net or stop by
the website at http://www.comicality.org (And don't forget to sign the
guestbook!)
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"New Kid In School:"
21st Chapter
-
When I went to bed last night I was filled with defiance and
stubborness. I was ready to become a full blown rebel and spend the day
with Ryan no matter what my father said. I wanted to make my stand, to
show him that I was not to be bullied or pushed around anymore. But when
the morning rolled around, some of that fire had left me, and the fear
returned. I mean, this wasn't just some teen angst thing that I was
attempting here to throw my weight around, this was outright
disobedience. Who knew what my father would do to me, he barely kept
from attacking me last night, from attacking Mom, I didn't want to push
things any further than I had to with him. I had already promised Ryan
that I would be there, and I couldn't break a promise to Ryan if I
tried. But I was really playing with fire this time. With my mom, I
would get a stern lecture, a harsh grounding, and a few extra chores
around the house. My dad, on the other hand, wouldn't stand for it, and
if I remember correctly, a 'merciful' beating was the best I could
expect from him. I hated to live in fear like this all the time, but I
must admit that it has made me cautious. Either way, I wanted to spend
time with my boyfriend that day, just not risk too much in doing so.
I came up with a plan that morning. I knew my dad was going to pick me
up after school to take me to wherever he had me going that day, so I
had to be there. The plan was to go to Ryan's house when I left that
morning, sneaking around the corner so my mom wouldn't see me, and then
I could go in through his back door. We could spend a whole day in each
other's arms, just him and me, together. Wow...that would be absolutely
perfect. Then, right before it was time for school to let out, I could
get up and go and just hang out in front of the school yard. Then my dad
could come and pick me up so we could go wherever the hell he had
planned to take me. Done deal, I could have my cake and eat it too. I
really hoped that this all went according to plan. I knew that Ryan
meant everything to me, but this could be serious if I slipped up. And
there would be nothing he could do about it. Well, the day begins, here
goes nothing.
I walked downstairs, dressed casually, nothing special, I didn't expect
to be in my clothes much longer anyway. I went into the kitchen and saw
my mother sitting there waiting, having her morning coffee. She was
still in her bathrobe and slippers and she just seemed 'different'
somehow. She just looked so brittle, fragile, like a delicate china doll
that was ready to crack at any moment. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal
and sat down at the table. It was a quiet breakfast as it had been over
the past couple of days. I could feel her staring at me from time to
time, watching, looking for signs, any signs. The idea use to terrify me
beyond all comprehension, but lately I was starting to wonder how hard
it would be to tell her. What if I just came out and said it? Right
there at the breakfast table? Would it really be so bad? I mean, I knew
she loved me, and I loved her. We had a good relationship, so it wasn't
like she was going to throw me out of the house or anything. I wondered
how she'd take it. Maybe she already knows how I feel, or maybe she
suspects and is just waiting for me to confirm it all. It couldn't be
that bad, I mean Ryan told his dad, and they worked it out. It was a bit
weird at first, but his dad is learning, I'm sure my mom could too. I'd
give anything to be able to tell her. To have her come home and see me
and Ryan cuddled up on the couch, watching tv in each other's arms, and
have her get all goofy and misty eyed like she did when she first saw my
hickey. She could be proud of her son and the true love that he shared
with his boyfriend. That would mean everything to me. But as I looked
over at her again, I realized that now was not the time for that. I
wanted to tell her, to get this giant weight off of my chest and just be
open about it so I didn't have to sneak around anymore or pretend not to
look when a hot guy walked by. But I knew that when I told her, I wanted
it to be 'real'. I wanted to do so without fear, without shame, without
guilt. I wanted to just sit her down, face to face, state my case like
an adult, and just tell her that this is who I am. Maybe things would be
weird, maybe she'd even freak out a little, but we could get past it,
and move on. But like I said, now is not the time. I'll know when that
time comes, it just isn't today.
"You got some messages yesterday." My mom said, suddenly breaking my
concentration. Her voice was a bit scratchy and hazy, it must have been
the first words that she had spoken since last night. He voice just
wasn't awake yet. She got up and got the little yellow pad by the
refrigerator. "Um...Jenny called to say hello, a boy named Ariel called
to ask if you were going to the arcade again sometime soon, Jenny called
again for some notes, someone named Alex called from the music store to
tell you that your new cd came in, Jenny called again to see if you got
her last two messages, and Chad called to ask your help with some math
problem. Something about a shiny yellow bus going 75 miles an hour,
whatever that means."
"Thanks, I'll probably talk to them today." I said. A weird collection
of messages. Especially from Jenny, she hasn't called to say hello to me
since the 6th grade. I think that maybe she was having a hard time in
school lately. Maybe she just needed a friend and I was a familiar face
in the crowd. We had been close when we were younger, maybe I should at
least let her know I care. I mean what are friends for, right? My mom
went back to being silent, and soon the whole thing got too
uncomfortable for me to stay there. So I figured that it was time for me
to put Operation: Randy's Day Of Love into effect. I started to get up
and walk away, and my mom stopped me by holding on to my arm.
She didn't say anything for a few seconds, then she looked up at me with
pleading eyes and said, "Randy...I know that you and your father don't
get along...but....but he just wants to spend a little time with you,
and then he'll go back home." Her voice was shaking a little, and it
nearly drove me to tears to know that she was scared, for me, and for
herself. "Meet him afterschool...okay honey? It's just one afternoon."
Why did a woman so gentle and kind have to endure something so terrible?
The worst part was, she knew she was sending me off with a monster, but
she knew the alternative could be worse, and it was a lose/lose
situation no matter what. I felt the emotions well up inside of me, but
held them back so she wouldn't worry. I walked over to give my mother a
sweet kiss on her cheek. "I'll be there mom...I promise. I love you."
Then I walked outside, thought about exactly what I was risking here,
and then decided that Ryan was waiting for me. I'd be fine, I'll make
it. I had this all planned out, and everything would be alright in the
end. Ryan's love was just so important to me, and if he asked me to walk
through fire to get to him, I would. So I lifted my head to enjoy the
morning sun for a moment, and walked around the block to get to Ryan's
back door.
I rang the bell, and Ryan was already in his kitchen eating a bowl of
cereal in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. He had no shirt on and his
teen chest was so smooth and tight. His hair was still a little messy
from sleeping, and the strawberry blond locks were so cute as they stood
up on his head. He was barefoot, and his legs were long and sleek. And
that cute little belly button, oh God he was so sexy! He opened the door
and just turned around to go back to his breakfast. No way was he
getting off that easy. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist from
behind and felt the smooth creamy flesh of his tender belly. I placed
some gentle kisses on the back of his neck as he giggled happily, and I
pressed my body close to his, his beautiful ass pushing itself out at me
slightly. "Hehehe, well you're in an awfully good mood this morning
loverboy." He said, still trying to move forward to the table.
"Where are you going? Come here." I said, playfully holding him back
from the table.
"Hehehe what? I've gotta finish my breakfast before it gets all soggy."
Ryan's smile was beyond erotic, especially after he had just woken up.
He still had that sleepy look, and his voice was full of that sexy rasp
that made him sound so cute to me. His body was still tender and warm
from being under the covers all night, and his whole body just radiated
this thermal pulse that you never wanted to let go of. He kept pulling
to go closer to the table, but I was able to turn him around and look
him in the eye. We stared at each other for a moment, a timeless moment,
and then he kissed me. A long, deep, passionate kiss that made my head
spin. My hands immediately moved down to the round globes of his ass,
and squeezed them gently. The cotton material of his boxers slid back
and forth across his ass and made it seem even softer than it had ever
been before. We grinded on each other for a second and then broke our
kiss.
"Fruity Pebbles?" I said, tasting the sweetness of Ryan's mouth on the
tip of my tongue.
"Yep." Then he kissed me quickly again. "Captain Crunch?" He grinned.
"You know it." Then we both giggled and kissed again, twirling and
spinning around the kitchen slowly, an erotic waltz that took us both to
a whole new level of 'togetherness'. That's when I realized what was
happening here....he was moving us towards the breakfast table again!
"Oh no you don't! You bastard!"
Ryan laughed out loud, his thin teen frame trembling against me. "Dude,
come on! I'm hungry here. Just let me finish this real quick! Hehehe,
c'mon, I'm almost done." We wrestled a little bit and I finally let him
sit down to finish eating. But the game wasn't over yet. As soon as he
started munching again, I slid down to the floor and crawled up to him
on my hands and knees. I was slow and cat like, watching Ryan hungrily
as I got closer, and he grinned at me as he watched me slide towards
him. I was under the table now, and he giggled childishly, his mouth
full of cereal, and he had to try to keep from spitting it out. I
hesitated briefly, letting him sweat it out. He knew what I was up to,
but he couldn't see me under the table, and making him wait for it was
the best way of teasing him that I knew about. I moved a silent step
closer, and I saw his smooth legs in front of me, his feet tapping the
floor in anticipation. I blew a little hot air on his legs and he
squirmed a little under the table. He shuddered and grinned as I moved
ever so close to him, he tried to keep eating, but I kept him on edge. I
stuck out my tongue and licked the inside of his right knee, making him
twitch.
"Hehehe..you are freaky dude." He said, still trying to keep his cool
long enough to eat. I didn't say a word, I just moved my head further in
between his legs and continued to lick and gently suck the soft meat of
the inside of his thighs. His legs squirmed even more and I could see
his lovely cock begin to rise right in front of my eyes. I used my
tongue to travel further up his legs and was now forcing my way under
the legs of his boxers, and Ryan moaned, still trying to hurry up and
finish his cereal. I could hear his spoon hitting the bowl with faster
strokes now, and I knew he was getting REALLY hot REALLY fast.
Ryan's hot cock was now forcing its way upwards, and only one button
kept it from being free. I crawled up even further, putting my head in
his lap and wrapping my arms around his wais and the chair. He used one
hand to push my head down a little, trying to stall me for another few
seconds, but I was so horny at that moment that I wouldn't let him go, I
wouldn't be denied this delicious morning treat. I held on and reached
out with my tongue again, going through the hole in his boxers, just
under the button, and started licking him around the tip of his engorged
shaft. His stomach was tightening up and it was making him sigh and
whimper above me while he frantically tried to eat the rest of his food!
I buried my face in his crotch, and finally got my tongue to go all the
way down to his balls, licking the round nuggets furiously as my hands
came back to rub the tops of his thighs. Ryan's legs shook, his cute
little ass wiggled back and forth in the chair, and I could tell that he
just couldn't wait to get me upstairs. If he didn't take me right here
in the kitchen that is.
I was so overcome with a combination of raw teen lust and unconditional
love, that I thought my heart would explode from the excitement being
pumped through it. I tried desperately to get my whole face into his
boxers and when I didn't think I could take anymore, I undid the button
and watched his cock spring out of it. I sucked him all in and ravaged
his stiff member with all the suction I possessed, making Ryan spasm
wildly at the table. I heard him drop his spoon and pick it up again,
whispering, "Oh Jesus!" But I didn't want him to lose it yet, not quite
yet. So I pulled off of him, and then jammed my face against his smooth
stomach, licking around the inside of his belly button. Ryan was pushing
his groin up into my chest, trying to get some relief for his aching
cock, but I denied him the pleasure, and continued to travel upwards. I
made awet trail up his rigid abdomen to his pecs, and I began to suck
and nibble heartily at his right nipple. Ryan was almost insane with
passion at this point as I crawled up his body from under the table.
"Dude...dude....Randy...I'm...I'm almost done man. Almost there baby..."
He whispered breathlessly. "All I need to do is get rid of the milk,
that's it. Okay? Can I do that baby? Huh?" He asked. I nodded quickly.
Whatever it took, just to get him out of this kitchen and into bed.
Then, while I was still licking at his nipples and ready to grab a hold
of his swollen member, I felt him lift the bowl from the table, and very
slowly....POUR IT DOWN MY BACK!!!
"Ahhh! What the hell?" I gasped as the icy cold milk ran down my back
and chilled me to the bone! I could only sit there for a moment with my
mouth open as I felt my body shiver from the surprise. Ryan, after
emptying the entire bowl on me, the last little bit being poured on my
head, laughed at me hysterically and he didn't even try to hold it in.
"You son of a bitch!" I said, giggling at the shock of having a bowl of
milk dumped on me in the heat of the moment. He scooted back a little
and I grabbed him by the leg as he tried to run away. I pulled him to
the floor and as he tried to drag himself out of my grasp, I grabbed a
hold of his boxers and yanked them down to his ankles. I moved up his
body and the two of us struggled while I positioned myself on top of his
beautifully naked body. I almost felt bad covering him up. A body like
Ryan's should be out in the open for everyone to see, a perfect teenage
specimen if ever I saw one. I crawled up until we were face to face, and
I shook the milk out of my light brown hair, letting the droplets rain
down on to his face.
"NO! NO! Okay, okay, I'm sorry! You're getting me all wet!" He shouted,
laughing so hard that we both nearly bounced around on the floor. Then,
suddenly, we both stopped, at the same time. I looked down into his
face, his angelic face, and I fell into the deep hazel brilliance of his
eyes. God, why couldn't you have given us words to describe a love that
defied eternity like ours did. I felt this heartbursting feeling of need
for Ryan at that moment, and I could see the same look in his eyes. I
leaned forward just a bit, and another drop of milk dripped off of my
hair and fell into his eye. He giggled and wiped it away, before
reaching both hands up to grab me by the ears, and he said, "I really
love you kid. Thanks for coming over today."
"I'd spend forever with you Ryan." I said, the love getting so strong
that I almost began to cry. And seeing me tear up started Ryan going and
before we became a pair of sobbing kids on the floor, we moved in for a
deep kiss on the kitchen floor. My tongue rolled around his and the two
of us rolled back and forth on that floor for a half hour or more, never
wanting to break that timeless kiss, that moment, not even to go
upstairs and have sex. For some reason, the kiss was enough. Then,
finally, when had to come up for air in order to survive, Ryan grabbed
the front of my pants and whispered, "C'mon...I want to taste you all
day long." And we got up to go to his room. I watched his ass move in
front of me as we went up the stairs, wonderfully naked, incredibly
smooth. The way it hypnotically bounced playfully in front of me caused
me to reach out and grab it halfway up the flight. He stopped and I just
had this uncontrollable urge to press my face against it, to feel the
cool flesh of his ripe cheeks against me, to lick and taste every inch
of him. And I did just that, I moved forward and rubbed my face back and
forth against the soft flesh, and I let my nose fall into the crack. I
had never thought about licking an ass before, but at that moment,
nothing seemed more erotic. I closed my eyes and felt Ryan lie down on
the steps in front of me as I teased his ass by rubbing my cheeks
against it hard. I let it intoxicate me, the slight aroma of his last
shower filling my nostrils with the clean smell of soap. I kissed the
soft cheeks and savored the sleek texture of his flesh. I cautiously
stuck out my tongue and licked the silky surface of his buttocks,
wetting the cheeks all over, and Ryan moaned in appreciation. He began
gyrating his hips up and down, wanting so much more but not pushing me
to go forward. I had to use my hands to help me, and I grabbed the
tender mounds and kneaded them graciously. I spread them, and
experimentally allowed my tongue to fall into his crack, running up and
down his tight cleft. Some of the jitters left me, and a dizzying lust
took over. I began to lick him harder and harder, and finally, I
traveeled further down and tasted the sweetnes of his taut pucker. Ryan
nearly screamed and he gripped the stairs hard as he fought to keep from
spasming out of control. His body became rigid as he gently trembled
from the sensations, and I licked faster, forcing my tongue into his
hole and rubbing my hands all over his bubbled cheeks. Ryan couldn't
take anymore and he arched his back, pushing back on me, trying to get
more of me inside. I was overcome with passion, and I pushed my face
against his ass as he pushed back on me, I couldn't get enough. It had
almost become a struggle between us on that staircase, and I wrapped my
arms around the front of him, hugging him tightly and getting more of
his curvaceous ass to cradle my face. It was so wild.
"Oh God! Randy! Fuck me! Please, now, RIGHT now!" He pleaded, he was
desperate for relief and so was I. We didn't even make it upstairs, I
just stripped off my pants right there on the steps and mounted him. It
was hard to position myself with him wriggling so impatiently under me,
but we managed to get everything in the right place. I was already at
the edge of a thunderous orgasm, and I almost lost it when I felt my
cockhead touch the constricted ring of his beautiful slickened asshole.
The second I made contact, Ryan quickly pushed back on me and I entered
him halfway in. He gasped a little, and I said, "Dude, that HAD to
hurt." I giggled a little at Ryan's eagerness. He smiled and agreed a
bit, but it didn't stop him from pushing back even more. I entered him,
wow he was so tight. He was like, virgin tight, and the heat was
amazing. He slid all the way down until I had all 6 inches buried in him
and I was about to let go any second. Ryan and I then leaned forward on
the steps and I whispered 'lover's words' in his ear as I began to grind
into him. I kissed the back of his neck and smelled the sweet scent of
his tattered hair. Ohhhh he felt so good. I tried to completely cover
him, letting as much of my body touch his as I possible could. That
drove him wild, and he began wiggling under me like crazy, almost
lifting me off the stairs. I began to piston into his hot anus and we
moaned and whined feverishly until I began t feel the intense build up
of energy flow through my body. It was coming fast, and it took my
senses over, forcing me to run on pure emotion and animal instinct. Ryan
pushed back on me again and without even touching himself, he came spurt
after spurt of juice all over the carpeted satairs. I reached under him
to catch some of the jets on my hand, and lifted it to my mouth, licking
the sweet nectar off of my fingertips. The tangy flavor of my lover's
cum brought me over the edge and I cried out as I thrust deeply into him
and came hard in his moist insides. My body twitched and spamed and I
knew that sex couldn't be any more spectacular than it was between the
two of us. I couldn't move for almost five minutes after that, and we
laid side by side on the stairs, trying to catch our breath. We sighed
together, wrapped in each others arms, and all the tension left my body.
Ryan wrapped an arm around me and I nuzzled my face into his neck, just
happy to be close to somebody.
"Hey Ryan?"
"Yeah?"
"These stairs...they're REALLY uncomfortable man."
"I know, but I wasn't going to say anything if you weren't." He said. A
smile broke out on his face and we finally dragged ourselves upstairs to
lay in his bed for a while. We spread out on his sheets for a while, his
arm across my stomach, his head on my chest. And we talked for a while.
It was just so beautiful to lie naked with Ryan in my arms. It made me
forget about everything bad in my life, and he just turned the whole
world upside down for me. He threw a leg over me and we made out for a
little while, then talked, then made out again, then talked, then had
more sex, and believe it or not, after all of that we still didn't run
out of things to talk about. I could honestly stay in bed with him all
day...if I wasn't so hungry that is.
"What've you got to eat downstairs?" I asked him.
"Nothing but more cereal. You want it?" He grinned.
"No thanks, I had enough of your cereal poured down my back this
morning."
"Oh man, yeah, we really did make a mess of the place, didn't we?" We
walked down stairs and saw a stain on the carpet, clothes on the stairs,
a pair of boxers on the floor, and a puddle of milk in the kitchen. Not
too bad of a clean up job, but one that needed to be done. We didn't
want any 'evidence' showing up when his dad got back. He was cool with
us dating, but we weren't so sure about the sex issue. We spent about
ten to fifteen minutes picking up and I asked Ryan if he wanted to go
out to eat while he was scrubbing the stains out of the carpeted
staircase. "Yeah, why not? We can go to that little burger joint a few
blocks over."
"Sounds good to me." I remembered to keep my eye on the clock. If this
whole plan with my dad was going to come together I had better make sure
I was at the school by 3:30, or else. We walked the few blocks to the
burger place, and I looked over and noticed how quickly it had taken
Ryan to get his hair perfect again. The angels themselves must have spun
his hair out of some undefineable blond silk or something. His hazel
eyes turned green in the afternoon sun, and I couldn't help but stare
into them as we walked. Sometimes I swear I saw something different in
him every single day, some odd little quirk that just made him so cute
to me. Isn't love grand?
We got there and sat in a booth, our waitress was a large woman with red
hair who just looked like the poster girl for every greasy spoon joint
in America. She seemed sweet though. "What'll it be fellas?"
Ryan and I both ordered double cheeseburgers, and when she asked if we
wanted grilled onions we both shouted, "NO onions." at the same time.
Making us giggle to ourselves as she walked away confused. As wewaited
for our food, I looked over at Ryan and was instantly captured by his
looks again. But this time it was deeper, it wasn't only his pretty boy
face, it was his heart, his humor, his youthful charm....eveything was
just so....so...well defined in him. There was so much pain and death
and suffering in the world, but the fact that this same screwed up
planet could produce someone so undeniably beautiful inside and out made
it all bearable. And he loved ME. I thought about that for a moment as I
stared at him. He was talking, but I was in a dreamworld all my own. I
thought about our ay together, watching him sleep in the hotel room,
seeing him in that hospital bed, my surprise birthday party, and the
smile on his face the very first time he said hello to me in history
class...and the memory made me realize how much I really did love him.
We had been through so much, and even when we were apart, we were still
'connected' somehow. I then thought about the day before when he said he
loved me. When he REALLY said he loved me, in that cafeteria, and how I
pulled away from him. I thought about the other kids and my mom and my
dad...and in that moment, none of them mattered. Any kind of teasing or
freaking out or threatening would ever change how I felt about my teen
angel, and it was at that moment that I found my courage.
The waitress brought over the burgers, but before she walked away I
stopped her. "Wait a second, can you stay here for a minute, I want to
say something." Ryan looked up at me with a strange look, but I knew
that I had to do this. I owed that to him, I owed that to myself.
"Ryan......I love you. I love you with all my heart, and I always want
to be with you. No matter what happens between us, you will always be in
my heart. Always." Ryan's eyes widened out of shock, and so did our
waitress'. The table got silent for a second, and Ryan teared up. He let
a stray tear fall from his eye and he grabbed my hands on top of the
table, right there in front of everybody, not that the place was that
full.
"I love you too Randy. I love you too." And we sat there all misty eyed
for a moment.
Our waitress looked down at the two of us and said, "Um....okay. Can I
go now?" We both laughed a little and let her get back to her other
tables.
"Geez Randy, you don't know what this means to me."
"Yes I do. Because I know what it means to me, and you deserve to get
all the love in return that you've ever given me." I said, still holding
his hands. It just felt so comfortable.
"But next time, do it someplace else ya dork! Geez, we only live a
couple a blocks away from here you know?" He grinned. We let go ofeach
other's hands and wiped the tears from our eyes. There was just
something so special about our time together. Whatever happens to him or
to me, we'll always be together, that was a fact.
A few minutes later the waitress came back over, and sat two giant
milkshakes in front of us with three cherrys on top. Ryan looked up and
said, "Um...sorry, we didn't order these."
"I know," She said, "I did. Two extra thick shakes, on the house. Need a
little something to celebrate our little lovebirds here. Congratulations
fellas." Then she winked at us and walked away.
"THANKS!!!" We shouted at her. We looked at each other with a giant
smile, full of surprise. We couldn't believe it! Maybe everyone wasn't
as bad as we thought. Maybe there WERE people who understood, who were
willing to accept. We were just filled with such an incredible energy at
that moment. We were shaking, happy, and seeing Ryan's eyes sparkle with
the same excitement made me feel like a million bucks. We gobbled our
milkshakes down and left her an extra generous tip before starting our
way out. We said goodbye to her, and she looked at us with the same
misty eyed look my mom had given me. For the first time, I felt proud to
have somebody know that Ryan was mine. And I was his. And we walked out
of the place arm in arm, showing off what we had and other people wish
they did. Take that society!
We practically skipped home that day, so happy to be together as we got
closer to his house. But as we started down the street, we saw the door
to Tyler's house open. We looked over to see Sam walk out and Tyler was
right behind him. I started to wave to them, but Ryan stopped me, making
me look closer. They had been crying...a lot. Sam walked out to get his
bike, and he turned to hug Tyler tightly. They held that hug for a long
time, and Tyler looked as though he had just lost his soul. He was
obviously heartbroken, and we guessed that Sam and Matt had made their
decision...and it didn't include Tyler. He was actually crying outloud
as Sam got on his bike and rode away, and we naturally had to go over to
see if we could help.
As soon as he saw us coming, he turned his back to us so we couldn't see
his face. He was trying to get himself together enough to stop crying,
but it just wasn't working. "Tyler?" I asked, "Is everything okay? Can
we help?"
I laid my hand on Tyler's shoulder and he pulled away from me. He stared
at me, angrily, then at Ryan, then back to me. It looked like he hated
me, hated both of us, because of what we had together. Then, without
another word, he just turned and walked away. We called out to him as he
walked back to the front door, "Tyler, please, we just want to help."
But he went inside and slammed the door in our faces. Then we heard some
more noise coming from inside, like he was throwing a full blown
tantrum, and the only thing we could do was let him work it out the best
way he knew how. It hurt to leave him alone, especially now, but I knew
there was nothing I could do to make the pain go away. I had been there
before, it just has to die out on its own.
Ryan and I went back to his house and settled down in his room. We were
still close, and huddling together to enjoy each other's company, but we
were hardly in the mood for much more. Tyler had been a part of us for
so long, that any pain in his life was a pain in our lives. I wanted so
badly to go over and hold him, to tell him that we still loved him and
that he'd be okay. But I knew that he once was in love with me, probably
still was to some degree, and he wouldn't want to hear it. Not from me.
It would just remind him of someone else he couldn't have. What did
Tyler do to get such a bad deal in the love department? He was so
gorgeous, so sweet, and caring, and kind...he deserves to be in love
more than anybody. I felt so bad for him, but Tyler always seemed to
bounce back, he'd be alright. And I'll be there for him until he found
his soul mate. I was sure of it.
Ryan and I talked it out for a while, occassionally exchanging a few
sweet kisses here and there, but nothing major, and then while watching
afternoon cartoons...we both....soon....fell.......asleep.
When I opened my eyes, the tv was still glowing, and the room had gone
dark from the setting sun. I took a second to regain my senses, and
suddenly realized that it was dark outside! DARK!!!! I looked at my
watch and it was 6:45! OMIGOD!!!!
"NO!!! OH SHIT! OHHHHH SHIT!!!!" I said, my stomach fluttering and a
fear taking me over so terrifying that tears almost came to my eyes! I
had messed up! I ditched my dad again, and this time he'd hit me for
sure! I jumped up from the bed and started putting my shoes on
frantically! Ryan was still half asleep and asked me what the matter
was. "Don't worry about it dude, okay? I've gotta go!"
"Are...are you sure? Randy you're scaring me here. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine! Really. Look, I've gotta go." I said, trying to calm myself
enough to ease his mind. Then I walked over and kissed him on the lips
one last time. "Thank you Ryan. You've given me so much in my life, and
you will always be a part of me. I love you, don't ever forget that,
okay? I'll always be with you, no matter what."
The words shook him a little bit, but he let me go anyway. I flew out of
his house top speed. I knew this was going to be bad, no matter how I
looked at it. My dad would be angry, furious, but what could he do? I
mean I'm 16 years old for crying out loud. I'm a little old for
spankings now, and if he got too rough, he could go to jail. No
problems. I'll just stand my ground. I'm almost 18 dammit, a full grown
adult, I'm tired of him putting his hands on me, tired of him
manhandling mom. I'm not scared of him anymore. I'll just go in, say I'm
sorry, and that'll be that. The worst he could do is shout some harmless
insults at me and go home. I could live with that, I hate him anyway.
I walked up to the house, and saw my dad's car parked in the back this
time, crookedly, like he had driven there in a hurry. I tried to keep my
confidence, I really did, but with every step towards the door, I felt
my legs shake and my stomach twist. This was it, the showdown I had been
trying to avoid all along. I stopped three steps from the door, too
frightened to reach out for the knob, I almost had tears in my eyes, but
I fought them back and tried to put on a brave face. The second my dad
smelled fear he was sure to attack like a pit bull. So I swallowed hard,
said a quick silent prayer, and opened the door.
My dad was sitting on the couch in the living room, my mother was
sitting in a chair across from him, her cheeks red and swollen from
crying. When her eyes met mine, her lips began to quiver as she held
back more crocidile tears. This might be even worse then I thought. My
dad gave me a look that was harsh, but eerily calm when he saw me
standing there. The room was deathly silent, and I looked back and forth
between him and my mom.
"Sit down Randy." He said, still maintaining that frightening calm
appearance. It was like he was going to pop any minute, and whatever
courage I had was gone.
"Dad...I can explain...."
"SIT DOWN!" He sai getting up from the chair quickly. My mom got up too
and pleaded with him to stop.
"Randall please. He said he could explain." She said with teary eyes,
but he pointed a stern finger at her and she sat back down, too scared
to disobey him at this point. Maybe she did it to save me. Or maybe he
just had this paralyzing control over us both. Either way, whatever
plans I had were gone now. I was completely helpless....and he knew it.
He walked over to me, and tightly gripped my arm, flinging me down to
the couch. "I told you to meet me after school today, I thought I made
that very clear. And yet when I get there, you're nowhere to be
seen....again." He said through clenched teeth. The fury in his eyes was
unimaginable, and he stared right through me. I tried to look away, but
he didn't let me. He kept saying, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
It was as if he could tell how much his eyes scared me. And terror is
exacly what he wanted to inflict on me. Hold it together Randy, it'll
all be over soon.
"I tried to meet you but..." But he interrupted me.
"NO! Don't you DARE lie to me boy! I walked into that school, and you
know what? Your last period teacher said she hadn't seen you today. In
fact...ALL of your teachers said they hadn't seen you today. Now...your
mother here tells me she saw you off to school this morning, so, where
did you go?"
"I...I..." I was stuck for words. The truth would get a beating, a lie
would get an even worse beating, not that I could think one up at that
moment. I was too scared to think at all. I looked down to the floor,
trying to keep myself from crying.
He walked over to me and grabbed my jaw hard with one hand, snapping my
head back upwards, "LOOK AT ME!!! Where were you?" It hurt, I could feel
the inside of my cheeks being grinded against my teeth, and when I
realized how helpless I was, my tears poured out of me in buckets. No
one could help me, no one could save me, and even if they could, who
would I ask? How would I ask?
"Dad....I'm sorry. Please, I'm really sorry." I sobbed.
"You're SORRY? No...fucking worthless is what you are! Worthless, and
pathetic, and stupid, and ungrateful. I took care of you for eleven
years, and you can't come and spend one day with your old man? And so
help me, so help me God...if I find out you ditched school to hang out
with that pretty boy fag boyfriend of yours I'll skin you alive! And
then I'll send you away where you won't have to worry about him anymore.
And THEN, I might just pay him a visit too and see just what he's made
of!" How could he do this to me? I'm his son for Christ's sake. This
isn't how it's supposed to be! What happened to all those happy fathers
and family values they show you on tv? Where's the love that THEY show
for their flesh and blood? Why me? What did I do so wrong to deserve
this? Be born? If so, then I'm sorry! God I'm so sorry! If that's all I
did to deserve this treatment, this agony, this everlasting hatred and
abuse, then I'd gladly take it back!
"Randall, stop this! You're hurting him." My mom shouted, and he quickly
let me go to stare her down. I was crying to hard to hear what was
really going on, but they were shouting and cursing and my whole reality
seemed to turn into the stuff of nightmares. I was confused, hurt, I
couldn't tell what was happening for a moment. But I heard my mother cry
out and when I looked up he was pushing her into the kitchen. I got up,
as though it wasn't even me reacting to it, and I grabbed my dad's arm.
"Stop it! Leave her alone!" But before the words had left my mouth all
the way, a backhand had knocked me to the floor. The salty tinge of
blood swept over my tongue as the sting faded away from my face. I
couldn't believe this was happeneing. I reverted back to a time when I
was ten years old, and thought that I simply deserved whatever my father
gave me. But not anymore.
I heard them struggling, and the second I heard a slap cross my mother's
face I rushed at my father and practically jumped on his back trying to
stop him. I knew I couldn't win, there was no way that I could possibly
ever beat him, but I had to try, for my mom...and for me. However, my
dad was quick to throw me off of him and grabbed me by the arm, yanking
it down hard and causing a sharp pain to shoot through my entire body.
Then he slammed me against the back door before opening it. "GET OUT!!!
YOU SON OF A BITCH, GET THE FUCK OUT!!!" He shouted. The screen door was
still there and latched shut, but he suddenly didn't care anymore. He
threw me up against it hard and as my back hit the door I heard the
sound of breaking glass behind me. I held on to the door frame, but h
actually took his foot and pushed me through it. I felt stray shards of
glass cut and slice me on my way through, one particularly large piece
cutting me deeply on my right arm, and finally I was too weak to hold
on. I fell back and my head hit the back porch with a sickening thud.
The whole world seemed to get quiet after that. No other sounds really
except for my dad's car speeding off and my own heartbeat. I was laying
on a bed of broken glass, blood covered my face, my arms. I felt the
warm drip of it as my mother rushed to me and lifted my head. Nothing
seemed real, everthing moved in slow motion, and I could faintly hear my
mother crying out above me, asking for help, telling me I'd be okay. My
eyes were rolling back into my head, and I thought about things, little
things. About Tyler, about Sam and Matt, about Ariel, about my mom, and
most of all about Ryan. They had all crossed my mind, and I couldn't
focus on them for much longer. I was sure how much time had passed, as I
laid there in my mother's arms, but the last thing I heard before I
blacked out, was the siren of an ambulance approaching the house. I'd be
okay...I just....just...needed some....sleep.
When I went to bed last night, I was filled with defiance and
stubborness. Now...I wishd I had made a different choice.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, I know this one was a little hard edged, but it happens, believe
me. ANYWAY..I hope you guys enjoyed it! If you liked it or didn't like
it, let me know at comicality@webtv.net or just stop by the website at
http://www.comicality.org