Wednesday, October 30, 2013

We have lived in a tiny apartment for the last 5 months, we are closing on our forever home next week!

So what

I have not made 1% of the things I pin on Pinterest. Ain't nobody got time for that!So what
I haven't worked out the past two days. Sleep was more important (especially for my sanity), I will get back to it Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

So what
Madelynn still climbs into our bed some nights. One day she will be a teenager and not want to be anywhere near us. I will take all the snuggles I can get.

So what
Laundry is ALWAYS piled up at my house. I can do a bazillion loads a week and there will still be some leftover. It doesn't help that Madelynn changes her clothes 3598926 times a day.

So what
I make B's in all my classes. I have a real life outside of school and would rather spend more time with my family rather than kill myself for an A. More power to those that stop at nothing for an A but this chick ain't gonna do it. No-can do's-ville baby doll.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Have you ever felt so not yourself? You cry for absolutely no reason, have a hard time pulling yourself out of bed, become so incredibly depressed/hateful and the only thing that has changed is one day. This is me approximately 10 days out of every month. I have PMDD.

You might be asking yourself how did I figure this out. Well here is a little bit of background. I was on birth control pills from the time I was 18 until about a year before I got pregnant with Madelynn and then after having Madelynn I had an IUD implanted. In March 2013 I had my IUD removed for religious reasons and also because I started reading things about the IUD that I did not agree with. {basically I really didn't do my homework before getting it, lesson learned}. Using some form of birth control for so long I never really had my monthlies in their pure form.

After, I had the IUD removed my next cycle came and it was ok but with each month my "PMS" became more severe. Like clockwork about 10 days before I was due to start I would become incredibly depressed. I felt like all hope was lost, I became paranoid about my abilities as a wife and mother and would become reclusive. I just wasn't me and did not understand why.

My wake up call was one day in August. I got to work and immediately shut my office door (I wanted to be alone). I remember setting at my desk and hating everything and feeling utterly hopeless. Then my boss called and casually asked "Hey, how are you today?". I lost it. I started sobbing and I told her I thought I needed to see the doctor something was seriously wrong with me. {I can only imagine how crazy I sounded that day, it is kind of embarrassing to think about.}

That day I made an appointment with my OBGYN. I remember being worried that he might think I was just losing my marbles and would not believe me. Side note: Can I just say when you find a good OBGYN, hang on to him/her. Anyways, I went to my appointment and he immediately said you have all the sign/symptoms of PMDD. The bad news was that there is no real treatment for it because there is not enough research to pinpoint the cause. After talking with my doc we decided that the best course of action for me was to continue my healthy eating habits and exercise and 10 days before my anticipated start date I would take a very low dose of Prozac to take the edge off and a diuretic to help with the bloating.

I was skeptical the first month I tried it but it made a world of difference. I felt slightly "hormonal" but it was manageable. This month I forgot to take the medication and I can tell a huge difference. For the last three days I have hated everyone/everything and just want to be left alone. It is starting to subside now but I think it goes without saying, I will be taking the medicine next month.

I am sharing this story because there may be other women that are suffering from PMDD and may not realize it or are scared to talk about it. A lot of times as women we feel that our situations are so unique but in most cases they aren't. If we would just be a little more open and honest we might find the support we need and feel less alone in our situations.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Anyways, remember how I told you that I went fall shopping this last weekend? I have decided that I am going to wear mainly skirts and dresses throughout Fall/Winter. The reason being is that I feel that as I lose weight I can wear them longer without it being as obvious I need to buy new clothes. I don't want to be wearing droopy pants that look like I took a dump in the back. Let's be honest, that does nothing for self-confidence.

Here are some of the awesome outfits I wore this week. {I apologize for the crappy pics, it's the best I could do in the morning rush.}

Outfit #1 - Who says navy and black can't be mixed? Whateva, I do what I want! For this outfit I paired a sheer navy blue shirt with a houndstooth skirt. Then added patterned tights and wedges.

Outfit #2 - This maroon and black dress is to die for. It it light enough for the fall and you can add layers (jacket or scarf) to it in the winter. Plus I totally felt sexy in it.

I paired the maroon dress with these adorable shooties and lace tights.

Outfit #3 - I loved the maroon dress so much I got it in camel too!

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I paired the camel dress with fleece-lined leggings and flats. Ladies, do yourself a favor and get the fleece-lined leggings. The are AHHHMAAAZZING! They are so cozy and feel so good on freshly shaved legs.

And for me NO look is complete without big hair. BTW, I am so in love with the color of my hair right now.

My main purpose for posting today is not so much about the outfits. It is to point out that no matter what size you are, find clothes that flatter your body and make you feel good. These outfits made me feel good and put an extra bounce in my step. I am a firm believer that your outfit sets the tone for your day. If you feel good and look good you project positive vibes. If your outfit does not make you feel good for the love of Pete don't wear it! It will only make you feel self-conscious and project negative vibes.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

This weekend was AWESOME for many reasons. Uh let's start with the obvious, my new blog design is flippin sweet! A HUGE thanks to Chris at Hubby Jack's Blog Attack for the design. He is incredibly talented and worked quickly to transform my blog.

The next best thing that happened was I jogged for almost a mile on Saturday. This is where the blood and sweat come in. So I set out for my wog (walk/jog) on Saturday morning determined to jog a mile. After I got warmed up I got to the place in my wog where it was time to go hard or go home. And then I DID IT, I FRICKEN DID IT! I jogged for 6/10 of a mile consecutively! After walking it out for a little bit I made myself finish strong and jog the last 2/10 of a mile. I jogged 8/10 of a mile. Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me. Just a few short months ago I couldn't even jog 5 feet without quitting. All together I wogged 2.25 miles.

I was so focused on my jogging that I didn't realize my sock slipped and I got a wicked blister. Cue the bloodshed!

I also engaged in some Fall fashion shopping for MJ and myself.

MJ in one of her new fashions. Isn't she just adorable?

Here are some of my new pieces.

I finished the weekend off with a delicious dinner, crockpot potato soup. It was so delicious and really low WW points value. I paired it with a salad and was completely satisfied.

That pretty much sums up my weekend. I am focused and ready to tackle next week.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Over at Skinnymeg it is Work Out Wednesday, I made sure I got my work out in so I could link up!

Moment of truth, I have not worked out for a whole minute because I got sick (it is that glorious time of year) and could not even think about breaking a sweat without going into a coughing fit. So anyway, I finally feel normal (whatever that is) again and made sure I set my alarm last night. Did I mention I have to set it for 4:45 a.m.? So 4:45 a.m. came and I heard the opening sax of Bob Seger's Turn the Page. (side note: I don't like lame factory alarms/ringtones so I choose to wake up to awesome music.) Anyways, I snoozed that thing twice and then pulled myself out of bed at 5:05 a.m. I got all ready to go for a walk/jog (wog) but it was rainy so I just did weights in the apartment.

I grabbed my 5 lb weights and got down to the nitty gritty.

Here is what I did.

I did break a small sweat by the end, wished I could have done more but had to get ready for work. I am definitely feeling a little soreness in my arms and shoulders now but it is tolerable. I did find a pretty cool website for dumbell exercises today. It even has little animations that show you how to do it. I need demonstrations! If you are like me and have limited knowledge on how to work out with dumbells this website is a good resource.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Well not really tricks more like resources/tools. Weight loss is an overwhelming task when you have a significant amount to lose like I do. So why not get a little help along the way?

When I decided that enough is enough I went straight back to Weight Watchers. WW has worked for me in the past (lack of real commitment kept me from sticking with it). I like that WW does not dictate what I need to eat. This is important for me because I start to develop this toxic attitude shortly after I begin a restrictive diet of "whateva, I do what I want". Then I vacate the diet all together and eat whatever I want, then wonder why I dislike the way I look. WW isn't a diet it is about learning to make good choices and portion control.

I track faithfully everyday, even on days when I don't make the best choices.

Not only is tracking what I eat important but what I put into my body is just as important. I try to eat natural foods (lean meat, fresh fruits and veggies) about 90% of the time. Eliminating foods with ingredients I can't even pronounce has made a huge difference. Moment of truth... I used to think the organic movement was bunk but now I see the value in fueling your body with natural unmodified food. I don't buy everything organic (some of that stuff is wicked expensive), probably about 30-50% percent of what I buy is organic.

I went from eating things like this.....

To eating things like this.....

Another way I am ensuring my success is by connecting with people who are on the same journey. You have to surround yourself with people that are going to help you reach your goals. I have recently been placed on a weight loss team (SHOUT OUT TO TEAM PEARL) set up by this awesome lady Sunshine's Journey to 199. It is a safe place where I can give/receive encouragement with other women and I connect with them daily.

As I continue this journey, I am sure I will find more resources to help me along the way. What are you doing to reach your goals?

Sunday, October 6, 2013

I have decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon. Why? Well there are several reasons.

1. I have recently started a weight loss journey. I am more determined than ever to become fit and healthy this time. I figured blogging my struggles, progress, victories, etc. would be a good way to hold me accountable as well as maybe help someone out there who might be struggling. I have not become brave enough to post my weight and progress pics quite yet but it is one of my short term goals. I promise!

2. I want to empower other women. We live in a society where we have become comfortable with tearing each other down. Moment of truth, I am guilty of this myself. Recently I realized why, it was out of pure jealousy of another woman's success, how beautiful she was, etc. I WILL NOT allow myself to do that anymore.

3. With that said, I started this blog because I get really worried about what other people think of me. I figured this might become a good tool to learn to let go and realize that not everyone likes/loves me and that is OK.

4. Last year I began a what I call a faith journey and decided to convert to Catholicism (I will post about my faith journey in the future). This blog is a great way for me to help spread God's love and maybe help bring people to Him. It will also help me continue to keep God a constant in my life.

I named this blog "Assignment Amanda" because it is about changing myself. I want to become the best version of myself. I want to truly love who I am inside and out and at the end of the day I want there to be no doubt in my mind that I am going to Heaven. I have a 4 year-old little girl and I want to be a positive role model for her.

I am 28 now and by the time I am 30 I want to fully love the woman I am. This is the story of becoming her.