Thursday: Getting to the bottom of smart seats

Thursday 12/06/2003It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's enough to make you believe in the fundamental goodness of the universe. Whichever god it is that looks after journalists smiled upon us and delivered a story about smart seats on aircraft.

Thursday 12/06/2003It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's enough to make you believe in the fundamental goodness of the universe. Whichever god it is that looks after journalists smiled upon us and delivered a story about smart seats on aircraft. Smart seats stuffed full of sensors that monitor every move and twitch of the lower torso and upper thighs. Smart seats that give us the opportunity for -- oh, thank you -- bottom jokes.
It is the lot of the British journalist to be abjectly in thrall to bottom jokes. In fact, anything south of the navel that sticks out or dimples in is fair game. But it is notoriously difficult to indulge in this addiction, even when you're working on a publication with a broad remit: on an IT organ? Forget it. I mean, sure, the air of the office is regularly thick with single entendre puns and deadpan dirt, but nothing we can ever serve up to the reading millions. Fundamentally, we're stuffed. You have no idea how hard it can get...
Until today. Thank you, Qinetiq, whose massive taxpayer subsidies -- ostensibly for defence research -- has led to this happy turn of events. Thank you, New Scientist (they like a good willy gag at NS), who put it in our face. A thousand worthy stories about chips and software may go through between each chance of Benny Hill meeting Bill Gates: that's our job, and we delight in bringing you the news, straight up. But give us a chance like this, and the world is new again.

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