L.A.'s Oldest Vandal Pleads No Contest To Tagging

[photo by Andrew Blankstein for L.A. Times] This 74-year-old O.G. right here is John Scott. He's L.A.'s oldest suspected tagger ever and was arrested in November for putting up his signature "slap tags," orange bumper stickers that read in bold, black letters "WHO IS JOHN SCOTT?," all over town and inside MTA buses. For such a threatening, hideous crime as his, "special problems unit" authorities assumed an aggressive manhunt for the "older" man to put an end to his havoc-wreaking and abhorrent vandalism once and for all, leading to his arrest.

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[photo via] And thank goodness for that. I mean, just look at him -- doesn't he scream public enemy #1 with that vinyl briefcase, scruffy grandpa gray beard and menacing thumbs up? Clearly a danger to society. Yesterday, Scott plead no contest to the misdemeanor vandalism charges against him to receive a sentence of three years' probation, community service that includes taking a computer class, and a fine of $1680. Justice served.

So who is John Scott and what drove him to a life crime and sin? Well folks, John Scott is a dude who shows up to court in a nylon Nike jogging suit, loafers, and his vinyl Samsonite briefcase displaying his signature bumper sticker. And apparently John Scott is man with a thing for synthetics. He's also a former fumigation and pest-control product salesman, a profession that proved to be a slippery slope, as it was what sparked his idea for creating the sinister stickers to market his goods. Scott himself proclaims his identity and his purpose on his website:

Who is John Scott? As soon ask yourself, Who am I? John Scott--world traveler, entrepreneur, producer, but, above all, mystery--an ordinary man with an extraordinary idea of himself. A real person with a real history, he is also you and me, the face in the window, the voice on the bus.

What is John Scott? What he is to you is a window to another world, a mystery to perpetuate, a brand to flaunt. Wear the t-shirt, paste the sticker, ponder life; you will amuse your friends, confound your enemies, and inspire the masses to wonder what the hell is going on.

See that?--He wants you to know he's everywhere, and that no holy corner of this earth can provide shelter from his presence. A true shit-disturber, John Scott is also an evil genius, as he openly declares his mission to organize a monumental uprising of the masses.

But fear not, for now that the authorities have him under their watchful eyes, his days of terror and villainous behavior are as good as over, and we can once again be out and about in the city without the looming threat of a harrowing John Scott run-in. Three cheers for the L.A. County Sheriff's Department for taking the time to head up such an impressive investigation to catch this geriatric hoodlum and eliminating the dangers of the L.A. streets.