Can you tell today’s been a pretty chill day for us with all these posts? Autumn’s been playing contently at my feet for the most part of this past hour. I wore her most of today so I’m wondering if she’s all soaked up on mama-love. Plus we went for a walk! New post coming on that soon but for now . . .

Yesterday was kinda low for me. I tend to compare myself way too much to women I admire. And then I plummet pretty low thinking of all the ways I don’t measure up. We were planning on going to the library and the park and I almost canceled the outing. I’m so glad I didn’t because the library had a book sale. And not like a Stow, Ohio – kinda-cool, but mostly lame – book sale.

Look at this loot!

In addition, Nate got some Sic-fi books he hasn’t been able to find online and has wanted since he was a kid! I was so happy for him and he was ecstatic : ) – click for a close up.

Our spending has come to a screeching halt as we have some new plans in the works (future post) but we decided at $1-3 dollars a book, this was a great investment for our family since it’s important to both of us that our children love reading and have great-thoughts and creative, classic literature to feed their minds.

I wasn’t sure how in the world this was going to happen. When would I be able to afford the Little House books? Should the just happen to be in a garage sale or book sale near me, I’m sure they’d get snatched up right away.

But there they were on the bottom shelf, seriously – it’s like they had nothing better to do than sit around waiting for me to show up and claim them.

I’m not exaggerating – hot tears came to my eyes as I dropped to my knees to snatch them up in disbelief. All I could think was “Jehovah-jireh” again and again. I looked at Nate who was holding AC and he seemed a bit shocked too. I had JUST asked him about when we’d be able to get them last week.

So happy. He’s so good to me. Like I said, I really feel like He placed and held them there just for me.

You let out a cry during your nap. I went to you, but hesitated a bit to see if you might settle back into sleep. Your breathing quickened so I tried to nurse you – it wasn’t working.

I took you to our chair hoping I could rock you back to sleep and continue this too-short nap.

While rocking, I recall something Elizabeth Foss wrote: about how, in answering our baby’s cry and providing it comfort, the baby learns that the caregiver is a safe place.

& I question if I’m a safe place for you: We ‘Gentle Parent’, and I’m so glad that we keep you close, respond to you, and treat you with respect. Your words and actions have meaning to us; They hold weight. And we pray that in parenting you this way – a way we believe reflects how our Heavenly Father parents us – that we’re building a solid foundation for a strong relationship with you. One that makes it easy for us to be trusted and one that’s more easily transferable to a relationship with Him.

In the stillness and quiet, I’m wondering if it’s in the back-and-forth, swaying motion; the humming; and pushing through the ache and pain, that I become that safe place. I’m so tired, and I really do wish you would just go back to sleep. But I also trust that there’s a miracle happening here:

As you’re learning that I’m a safe place, Jesus is making it so. He’s here; sourcing me and gracing us; strengthening our bond.

Tying us closer together.

You’re learning, and I’m becoming.

I love the way you perch your chubby foot on top of mine; drape your little arm across your head, over your eyes. Your breathing has steadied and your tiny weight sinks into me and as we rock.

After I set it all up she was like “O! an envelope!” and I was like “O great!” Haha – but she’s been loving it. Last weekend she played for like 50 minutes BY HERSELF! Her dad and I were sitting on the floor in the middle of the room talking to each other, acknowledging her when she made eye contact but mostly just let her be. She came over for a bout 5 mintues halfway through but yeah, I’m hoping this mindful parenting stuff helps her to really think about things from her own perspectives. Which leads me to . . .

From diaper changes, to independent play (around 50 the other day!), to how we talk to her (using full sentences “Would you like the red ball?” instead of just focusing on teaching her a single word, “ball”; using pronouns instead of saying “Mommy’s going to . . . “; telling her what’s going to happen next, etc), and not showing her what an object is for/how to do something – but allowing her the chance to discover it for herself (sounds easy, but I struggle with it!).

Started reading books together more. SoOoOo cute when she starts to giggle when she sees the book coming . . .

~Started *trying* to get her to take dessicated liver – she’s not a fan. (Can you blame her?) But her iron is low and Nate wants is to try natural food-based ways 1st as their easiest on a little tummy and most readily absorbed by their systems.

~And working on a routine. We mostly do the same thing everyday, so this was more for me 🙂

Somedays I feel like God put Tim Keller on this earth just for me. I’m self-absorbed like that : ) I can’t get over how he puts things:

“Imagine you’re a billionaire, and you have three ten-dollar bills in your wallet. You get out of a cab, and you hand the driver one of the bills for an $8 fair. Later in the day you say, “either I dropped a ten-dollar bill somewhere, or I gave the taxi driver two bills.” What are you going to do? Are you going to get all upset? Are you going to disrupt the rest of your day? Are you going to police and demand they search the city for the cabdriver? No, you are going to shrug. You’re a billionaire. You lost ten dollars. So what? You are too rich to be concerned about that kind of loss.

This week, somebody criticized you. Something you bought or invested in turned out to be less valuable than you thought. Something you wanted to happen didn’t go the way you wanted it to. Someone you counted on let you down. These are real losses – of you reputation, of your material wealth, of your hopes. But what are you going to do, if you’re a Christian? Will this setback disrupt your contentment with life? Will you shake your fist at God? Toss and turn at night? If so, I submit it’s because you don’t know how truly rich you are. You are not listening to the second Advocate (the Holy Spirit) about your first Advocate (Jesus). You are not living in you. You are forgetting that the only eyes in the universe that matter see you not as the “phony little fake” you have sometimes been, but as a person of captivating beauty. If you’re upset about your status with people, if you’re constantly lashing out at people for hurting your feelings, you might call it a lack of self-control, or a lack of self-esteem, and it is. But more fundamentally, you have totally lost touch with your identity. As a Christian, you’re a spiritual billionaire and you’re wringing your hands over ten dollars.

It’s the job of the second Advocate to argue with you in the court of your heart, to make the case about who you are in Christ, to show you that you’re rich. And it’s your job to listen.”

&

“I once heard the story of an 18th century Welsh preacher who, when he was just a teenager, was standing with his family around the deathbed of one of his aunts. His aunt had been a strong Christian, but now she was slipping away. Everyone thought she was unconscious and someone said out loud, ‘It’s a shame; she had such a hard life. She’s seen two husbands die, and she’s often been sick, and on top of it all, she has died poor.’ Suddenly she opened her eyes, looked around and said

‘Who calls me poor? I am rich, rich! And I will soon stand before Him bold as a lion.’ And then she died.

Understandably, that had quite an effect on the young man. This woman had the peace that Jesus spoke of because she had listened to the Advocate [Holy Spirit]. She was saying, ‘I’ve got the only husband who can’t die. I’ve got the only wealth that can never go away. And my Savior dealt long ago with sin – the only disease that can really and truly kill me. How can you call me poor?’ The second Advocate told her about the first Advocate, so she could say in the face of great loss, as the hymn writer did, “It is well, it is well with my soul.”

Morgan Reid

I'm wife and mama learning how to love Jesus, and love on others the way He does.
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Into crunchy and natural living; mindful parenting; social justice; and environmental advocacy. I like anything domestic (decorating, fabric arts, etc), Monet's art work, photography, ASL, and having real connections with other humans. (:
Currently living in Austin, loving all the 'weird.' Counting gifts and enjoying God. ‡
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MBTI: xSFJ. Enneagram Type 6.