Donald Trump Tweeted the Democratic Debate, and It Was Glorious

Tweeting from his phone—possibly while golfing, no doubt from somewhere superlatively sumptuous—Donald Trump offered his real-time take on Tues night’s debate. How did the Donald size up the Democratic field?

His pregame breakdown demonstrated that Trump has zero time for losers on either side of the aisle:

Should be interesting but too bad the three guys at《1% will be taking up so much time - but who knows, maybe a star will be born (unlikely)

The bulk of Trump’s tweets eschewed substantive criticism, instead tarring the slate of Dem candidates as a collective snore. But Trump did poke at Hillary Cllinton’s soft spots—Iraq, her private email server, and her flip-flop on the Trans-Pacific Partnership:

The hardest thing Clinton has to do is defend her bad decision making including Iraq vote, e-mails etc.

By the same token, in Trump’s world being the executive of an actual city (oh, and by the way, Martin O’Malley also ran a state) is a lesser qualification than building golf courses and appearing on a reality television program:

Trump at one point accused Jim Webb of “not doing well!” This is a classic Trump insult technique, in that the besmirchment can’t be countered. What are you gonna say—“Am too doing well!”? (Trump employed the same tactic against Rand Paul in a Republican debate, firing off a “You’re having a hard time tonight” in Paul’s direction. How does he parry that? “Nuh-huh, I’m having an easy time tonight”?)

Trump’s only compliment was for Sanders. It appeared to be in reference to Sanders’ declaration that America was tired of hearing about Clinton’s emails. If so, was a nod to tactical acumen, not policy choice. And no surprise that Trump’s kind words were reserved for a move by Sanders that was, at its root, a dig at the media.

Trump’s final assessment had little to do with any of the candidates’ stated positions, or their internecine disputes. Leave it to the reality TV celeb to judge every contest as a battle of STAR power: