Never Mount a Rabid Fish on Your Wall

You did it. You caught a Rabid Fish. Against all odds, you got it into the boat and put it on ice. Now you have to decide: Do you really want to mount a Rabid Fish on your wall?

In our continuing efforts to educate Rabid Outdoorsman about the perils of the great unknown, we can think of several reasons why you should never put a Rabid Fish on your wall. Read these carefully and you may survive to go on your next fishing trip.

Rabid Fish never really die. They just lie real still until you try to grab them out of the cooler.

Taxidermists charge an enormous extra fee for mounting Rabid Fish.

Even if you’re lucky enough to get it to the taxidermist and then home, you’ll notice a Rabid Fish always has a residual ooze that runs down the wall.

A Rabid Fish won’t sing. Stick to one of those silly, singing ones you get at the store or online.

Your spouse will hate you and will definitely leave you if you put a Rabid Fish on the wall.

A Rabid Fish is nothing to brag about. Your friends will only laugh at you.

While the mounted Rabid Fish does have a nice glow to use as a nightlight, we’re pretty sure it will scare the crap out of your kids. Then look at the mess you’ll have to clean up.

The eye of a Rabid Fish will follow you no matter where you go in the room.

If you ever move, the spot left behind from where you mounted the Rabid Fish will bring down the value of your home by thousands of dollars.

And, always remember, the smell never goes away.

Need a reminder about why you should never mount a Rabid Fish on your wall? Go to RabidOutdoors.com and buy one of our fine Rabid Fish products.