June 13, 2008

June 10, 2008

It takes so little to fascinate me. Every day I have been taking a peek or two at the robin's nest in our spruce tree. I don't know much about robins, but this particular mama robin has chosen to construct her nest only about five feet off the ground. I've let my curiosity get the better of me a few times and have tried to take a peek while mama robin was roosting, thus scaring her away, but to my enormous relief she always returns. First there was one blue egg. Then there were three. Then four. And then... these.

June 06, 2008

You know that awful dream where you're trying really hard to run but you feel like you're tethered to a parked Mack truck? As I recently discovered, that's what running is like for me, but in real life.

At risk of having to default, the Noogles softball team was in desperate need of a second female player for their game two Wednesdays ago. They were so desperate that they accepted my reluctant offer to play. What were they thinking? At any rate, they accepted. Now, I really didn't expect to have to run, since I was going to be placed at home plate as the catcher (not a strategically important role in three-pitch softball), and the only other reason to run would be if I managed to hit the ball when I was at bat. That wasn't a likely scenario.

Not having thrown or caught a ball or swung a bat in, oh, twenty years or more, I thought I could use a little practice. Okay, a lot of practice, but since I only came up with the idea ten minutes before game time, a little would have to do. Following Scott's pointers, I managed to jam my right index finger on my third try at catching. If you've ever jammed your finger, you'll be cringing right now. A jammed finger happens when an idiot like me allows the ball to hit a straight finger head-on. It really freakin' hurts. My finger turned red and swelled up and stung like a sonofabitch. I'd like to blame my jammed finger for the fact that I threw like a girl for the entire game, but that would be disingenuous.

Here's the weird part. When I was at bat, sure, I swung like I was holding a sledgehammer and I missed the ball most of the time, but occasionally I connected. And some of those times, I made it to first base. A few times, with the help of decent batters, I actually made it home. And hey, I even had an RBI!

But the running, my friends, the running. It wasn't pretty. It made me wonder how I managed to participate (however briefly) in marathon training several years ago. I guess the difference is that the training was also many pounds ago. I wanted to get on base, I really did, so it wasn't for lack of desire that I struggled so much. No matter how hard I tried to sprint, I felt like more like an elephant trying to escape quicksand.

And yet...

In the bottom of the final inning I crossed that plate, with two other runners right on my heels, and when the last player reached the plate we won by one run! That felt good. It felt really, really good. For about three minutes. Then I felt my body.

And I wanted to die.

I spent about four days wanting to die, in fact. Four days during which my jammed finger turned blue, then purple, then almost black, then back to just about normal, except for discolouration beneath the nail. Four days during which my thighs felt twice as fat as they actually are, my back cried out for rest, and my feet cursed me for my foolishness. Four days during which Scott just shook his head whenever he looked at my colour-changing finger or saw me limping around, groaning and creaking. Then, a couple of days later, I turned 35. I may not be the oldest person in the Noogle group, but I'm officially retiring. It's time for me to return my borrowed glove and to put on a leisure suit, because from now on it's all about mall-walking and tai chi for me. Minus the tai chi. That's too strenuous.

Fellow Bloggers

Inspiration

One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one.

-Agatha Christie

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

- Margaret Mead

What is the good of having a nice house without a decent planet to put it on?

- Henry David Thoreau

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.

- Edmund Burke

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

- Douglas Adams

...as long as we are all here, it's pretty clear that the struggle is to share the planet, rather than divide it.

- Alice Walker

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

- Leo Buscaglia

The best things in life aren't things.

- Art Buchwald

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

- Albert Einstein

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.

- Maya Angelou

The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where the people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free.

-Dalai Lama

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems.

- Mohandas Gandhi

Giggles

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

- George Burns

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

- W.C. Fields

I hate writing. I love having written.

- Dorothy Parker

Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big.

- George Carlin

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

You can't have everything; where would you put it?

- Steven Wright

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying.

- Woody Allen

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

- Groucho Marx

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

- Jane Wagner

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

- Erma Bombeck

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Emo Philips

Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours.