That didn't go as planned

Fox News Outraged Planned Parenthood Witch Hunt Burning Wrong Witches

Sure is tough to be a rightwing “pro-life” full-of-bull propaganda machine these days. On Monday, we learned the sleazy jizz rags behind the “gotcha” videos of Planned Parenthood doing “crimes” to “baby parts” have been indicted in Houston, Texas, for being the real crimers, ACTUALLY. And we laughed and chortled and guffawed and feminist fist-bumped and happy-danced naked in our living room and said, “That’s what you get, motherfuckers!” And it was good.

But it was not so good over at Fox News. Fox, like the rest of the rightwing anti-woman world that has an awkward and estranged relationship with reality, has been demanding investigations into these oh-so-damning videos, pronouncing Planned Parenthood ipso facto prima facie full-on obvs GUILTY! because of “a series of undercover videos that appear to show the organization profited from fetal organ sales.” Except not, as we all know.

On Monday night, Megyn Kelly invited Fox News Senior Legal Gasbag Judge Andrew Napolitano to whine and cry and stamp his feet and shake his fists about the indictment of Center for Medical Progress founder and bipedal trash heap David Daleiden and his fellow videographer Sandra Merritt, and to lawsplain what it all means:

This means that a political prosecutor has injected herself in a very serious issue about whether or not Planned Parenthood was profiting from the abortion of babies by selling body parts.

Oh really? Harris County District Attorney Devon Anderson (a Republican appointed by former indicted Gov. Rick Perry, by the way) injected herself into the serious issue of persecuting Planned Parenthood by following the totally unbiased, non-agenda orders of virulently anti-choice Republican Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick to git them baby-killers at Planned Parenthood. But she didn’t do that, did she? She got it all wrong by refusing to find Planned Parenthood guilty and instead uncovering evidence of all these other crimes by the “pro-life” activists, HUH.

“As I stated at the outset of this investigation, we must go where the evidence leads us,” Ms. Anderson said. “All the evidence uncovered in the course of this investigation was presented to the grand jury. I respect their decision on this difficult case.”

Pffft. The evidence led her in the wrong damned direction because she was supposed to stone-cold murder Planned Parenthood, in a court of law. Didn’t she watch the videos? Judge Napolitano did:

And anybody that watches these tapes can come to their own conclusion. I submit that if you watch them you will conclude that they did sell body parts and were willing to sell them in the future.

Thus, the indictment of Daleiden, instead of Planned Parenthood, can only mean one thing: that Daleiden is a lying sack of pus criminal (allegedly blah blah) who created fake government documents in an attempt to entrap Planned Parenthood (that’s illegal), and he also tried to buy fetal tissue (that’s illegal too, as we’ve been told by Fox a thousandteen times!), and his ass should go to prison forever?

Ha, don’t be stupid, this is Fox News. Help us come to the right conclusion, Fox:

KELLY: So does this sound like a political hit job? Or what is this?

NAPOLITANO: Absolutely. This is a political hit job.

Blood-stained swizzle dick Daleiden is bitch squealing that he is but a humble journalist who simply “uses the same undercover techniques that investigative journalists have used for decades in exercising our First Amendment rights to freedom of speech and of the press, and follows all applicable laws.” Except for wrong and nuh uh, and fuck you, pal, while we’re at it. Real journalists do not make deceptive home videos with stock footage for the explicit purpose of trying to shut down a provider of women’s healthcare because ladyparts are ewww and icky.

Meanwhile, Judge Napolitano is hitting all the Fox shows to make sure everyone understands the political hit job ordered by the state’s most powerful elected anti-choicers is the wrong kind of political hit job:

I’m beginning to think that it is a political hit job on the people who did the investigating. So you have bonafide journalists assuming identities, pretending to be medical ethicists or people in the business of dealing with body parts going to Planned Parenthood saying, all these abortions, are you really selling the body parts? Well, yeah, we are.

Sure, except that none of the anti-choice activists involved with the Center for Medical Progress are “bonafide journalists,” and also except that no one from Planned Parenthood ever said they sell body parts, because of how they don’t. But go on, Judge:

Now, what does investigate mean? You empanel a grand jury of 23 people. You tell them who your target is.

Right, that’s how the justice system works. The prosecutor tells a grand jury, “We’re trying to go git Planned Parenthood, so do that,” but oh no, the Republican “political prosecutor” didn’t do her job right, did she? Nor did the grand jury:

The grand jury does not turn around and indict your witnesses, the people who brought you the case, without the prosecutor wanting this to happen. So why would this prosecutor appointed by Governor Perry, a former judge, a Republican woman, why would this prosecutor want to do this, other than to send a message like, I might be a Republican, but leave Planned Parenthood alone? Leave it alone — they’re using tax dollars to kill babies and sell their body parts.

Clearly, the prosecutor is a secret feminazi baby-hating double agent mole, out to protect and enable Planned Parenthood so it can keep using your tax dollars to eat baby parts for lunch, mmmmm delish!

Or. Or! Maybe “pro-life” extremists who are hell-bent on denying healthcare to women and are willing to commit crimes, and aw heck, even MURDER, to try to make doctors look guilty of doctoring should go fuck themselves with a rusty coat hanger and leave ladies and their ladyparts medical providers alone. Or else they just might find themselves at the sharp end of the justice stick.

They should take it to the supreme court. Verdict goes your way (Bush/Gore, Citizens United, Hobby Lobby): impartial judges doing their jobs correctly. Verdict goes against you: Unelected troublemakers in robes BURN THEM

HogeyeGrex

Absolutely. This is a political hit job.

Totally unlike the actual video in question.

Sheesh.

Beaumarchais?

Said by every convicted politician ever.

Tallmutha

And anybody that watches these tapes can come to their own conclusion. I submit that if you watch them you will conclude that they did sell body parts and were willing to sell them in the future.

Uh, yeah, maybe you would. That’s because they were designed to deceive you into concluding that, Shitbird.

MsAnthropesMr

I watched this movie one time, and I know that we’re actually all powering the computers and AI and we live in a constructed reality.

If he ever accidentally watches an episode of The Walking Dead, he’s gonna be under the bed quaking for a month.

Lizzietish81

But when that racist fuck bag (and now US Rep because FUCK YOU STATEN ISLAND) Donovan did everything he could to ensure there was no indictment of a police officer, that was justice.

MsAnthropesMr

What I want to know is, did anyone get turned into a newt? Did anyone get better?

Nounverb911

Callista’s husband?

Brewerofbeers

How dare American citizens, and especially women, think for themselves!?!

Nounverb911

That was Paul Ryan’s idea.

Anarchy Pony

It’s only okay when corporations think for themselves.

JMP

These creepoids already pushed one of their followers to commit mass murder with their slanders against Planned Parenthood, and yet they are still doing it with the blood still on their hands. Fucking murderous assholes.

docterry6973

The Republican DA appointed by Rick Perry is a WOMAN!!! Case closed.

Bitter Scribe

Grand juries are sacred protectors of freedom when they protect killer cops, but not when they indict fraudsters instead of victims. Gotcha.

willi0000000

but. but. but he’s our fraudster!!!!!

DoILookAmused2u ?

They are going to be really butthurt when the rest of the indictments and convictions start rolling in for these fuckwads.

Anarchy Pony

The political hit job was the fraudulent videos made by people attacking a health services provider.

JustPixelz

When grand juries (as LizzieTish81 noted) don’t indict police officers for killing pretty much anyone with darker skin than Oscar nominees, Republicans and their fellow travelers have nothing but praise for the integrity of our legal system, the ineffable fairness of ordinary citizens sitting in judgment, how laypeople don’t have access to all the evidence. Grand juries are part of Jesus’ plan. Except when they’re not.

Hemp Dogbane

The obvious conclusion based on this result and the congressional hearings the video was designed for is that the lies need to be better, and better executed.

Come here a minute

All those investigations are supposed to go wherever the facts lead, but it’s supposed to be leading to the BABY KILLERS DAMMIT!

Malmborg Implano

You mean Rick Snyder?

Ranina

He’s next.

Joshua Norton

One of the accomplices still remains at large…
.

Villago Delenda Est

Not unusual. The war criminals responsible for Daesh are still at large, too.

Jorge Jorge

Probably hiding out with the California prison escapees….

coozledad

Shrimp Boy would have done a hell of a lot better at HP.

OrdinaryJoe

Throw out a trail of Purina. She’ll show up eventually.

coozledad

She’s just pissed because the bath of virgin blood isn’t doing a goddamn thing.

jesuswasablack

My god that fucking face makes me wanna hurl! Trump was right what an ugly CUNT! How much you wanna bet this broad had more than one bortions?

PubOption

She’ll never persona trial.

OrdinaryJoe

Somebody start searching the HP warehouses.

Jorge Jorge

Been laughing all day…….HHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAA

say wha

As you know, ah, you go to trial with the criminal you have—not the criminal you might want or wish to have at a later time.

Napolitano is a poor man’s Scalia, who is himself a smart man’s Joe Viterelli. No matter how you slice it, he’s not the real thing.

Villago Delenda Est

Cragmont Cola is more the real thing than those assholes.

MrBlobfish

I’ll say it again: Never should have let the Italians into the country.

Beaumarchais?

And the Irish! What is it with white people?

Damian L

Conservatives and truth,never the twain shall meet!

SadDemInTex

This was in Texas, you fuckers…and with all the crap here EVEN Texans could see that it was WRONG and ILLEGAL of these fuckwad anti-abortionists.

DoILookAmused2u ?

You have to excuse them for brain-broken. Heck, a lot of people defended the dude who murdered Dr. David Gunn and his bodyguard in front of the bodyguard’s wife.

SadDemInTex

There will always be people who defend murdering racist death cult fanatics.

MOG253

Sadly, that doesn’t mean their court will.

SadDemInTex

True, but these showings of real justice by actual people matter.

Randy Riddle

Babbygazi.

Callyson

This means that a political prosecutor has injected herself in a very serious issue about whether or not Planned Parenthood was profiting from the abortion of babies by selling body parts is competently doing the job for which she is paid by taxpayers.

/fixed
/FFS

PubOption

Prosecutorial Activism, Inpeach!

eddi

Fox didn’t elect him so his decisions are invalid.

Msmlg1979

I almost wished I had cable last night so I could watch the exploding heads, and sadly desperate spin, but it’s better this way, straight from Wonkette.

Lizzietish81

Not that it matters, Texas will continue to cut PP forcing more women to use more dangerous means to abort.

Villago Delenda Est

Good. Sluts need to be punished.

beavertank

Remember, the safeword is “avocado”. But don’t be a little bitch and use it.

Msmlg1979

Yes, yes we do! (But not by bleeding to death from a fucking back alley abortion!!!)

jviscont1

and I thought an evening of my company was punishment enough

JustPixelz

The Abortionplex™ should team up with an airline. There’s a market for women who don’t want to drive five hours or wait three days or listen to a government-mandated lecture.

Wee Mousie

There was an old Australian television show about how a doctor took care of hundreds of miles of outback using his Piper Cub.

You could start your own show, “The Flying Abortionist.”

JustPixelz

Perhaps a reality TV show (on Fox!): Extreme Termination. A group of women with unexpected pregnancies have to go through a series of challenges to reach the clinic. Alligator-filled moats come to mind. Or Republican-filled moats. Either way. The final round is getting past rings of protesters. (And no “escorts” LT.) The winner gets to exercise her Constitutional rights. The rest are forced to live on SNAP lobster with their newborn.

Whale Chowder

Combine it with American Ninja Warrior. Contestants have to make it through an obstacle course to get to the clinic.

And anybody that watches these tapes can come to their own conclusion.

OK:

JoeChristmas

It’s analogous to reading the bible.

eddi

Which is a risky thing to do if you believe in the Bible’s contents as told by others.

Wee Mousie

According to Fux Noose, you can think their way or come to your own contusions.

Pinkham’s Law

“I might be a Republican, but leave Planned Parenthood alone I still have a sense of right & wrong,” or “I might be a Republican, but leave Planned Parenthood alone I still have some self respect”, OR “I might be a Republican, but leave Planned Parenthood alone I take my duty as a Prosecutor seriously,” or “I might be a Republican, but leave Planned Parenthood alone I still believe in the Rule of Law.” FTFY – take your pick.

Barley_Brains

Um, sorry, but I could not get past the naked dancing part of the article. What did the rest of it say?

These wet ends lied from the start: their company was fake, they posed as fake scientists, they lied their asses off to get these interviews, and they videotaped them without permission.

Everything about the CMP is fraudulent.

Add to it not once on any of the b roll tape, or the cited down versions, did PP ever actually sell fetal tissue.

Fuck em all, let their special sky friend sort em out.

bbqboy

Penny to Songbird,
Penny to Songbird,
Come in, Sky…

eddi

There is a show I haven’t thought about in 50 years. Sky King, if you kids want to look it up. I don’t think any footage still exists though. Pre-video tape era.

Last Hussar

I’ve seen BBC journalists do the same to expose corruption.

Wee Mousie

Ah, but did those BBC journalists edit their tapes to make it seem like their subjects clearly said what they very clearly did not say?

MsAnthropesMr

OT

Abe Vigoda dead.

AngryBlakGuy

…bad year for celebs

Villago Delenda Est

Fish, we hardly knew ye. Sleep well, friend.

SuspectedDemocrat

It wasn’t personal, it was just business, but I guess Hagen couldn’t get him off the hook this time.

timpundit

Not even for ol times’ sake.

Wee Mousie

There’s an old saying that any District Attorney can indict a ham sandwich before a Grand Jury, but apparently not one that’s full of baloney.

dslindc

. . . or a police officer.

Celtic_Gnome

Considering this is the conservative movement we’re talking about, their best course of action is to empower more grand juries in more states to investigate these videos so they can incur the most massive butthurts possible when Daleiden and friends face even more indictments.

“Real journalists” also don’t forge government documents, because “real journalists” realize that’s a serious felony and aren’t so goddamn stupid that they think they’ll get away with it.

I do find it weirdly hilarious that the crime the wingnuts accused Planned Parenthood of, trafficking in human organs, is a one year misdemeanor while the forged documents charge is a twenty year felony.

I do hope these scumbags enjoy their time in jail. It’ll be a good, character building experience for them. Probably even bring them closer to their god.

arglebargle

There are no Atheists in Fox news holes.

DahBoner

There are no athiests in Fox Hos, either…

BearGHAZI

being fucked like an animal often brings one closer to god, so they say

The only scene from that show I remember was Fish saying “Personnel says I’m dead” and Barney Miller replies “It’s probably a mistake.”

lucidamente

Nothing personal, just business.

—God

Jen_Baker_VA

:(

jmk

I am sad. :(

Quercus

Why is it that going undercover to “expose” Planned Parenthood is “bonafide journalism” but going undercover to expose factory farms is the work of criminals? I’m very confused.

Villago Delenda Est

Well, the former is in the cause of punishing sluts. The latter is in the cause of holding cruel people responsible for their actions. You can see now how the latter might also include those perpetrating the former, do you not?

Quercus

Thanks for Wonksplaining. It makes perfect sense now!

nmmagyar

Because farmers are the backbone of our nation and only whores go to PP. Or something

Jason M

Napolitano sure has become an asshole since Concrete Blonde broke up.

Blueb4sunrise

I think that Devon Anderson is actually Wendy Davis.

SayItWithWookies

Another rogue prosecutor following the facts instead of the governor’s lead — if this keeps up, we’ll turn into a nation of laws, not men. Oh, wait.

Does this make Napolitano the stupidest person on the face of the Earth?

Villago Delenda Est

He’s got so much competition for that at Faux. Doocy alone is a formidable challenger.

FlownOver

Well, he’s smart enough to cash FOX’s check.

Gleem-McShinez

Set to the tune of “Moving In Stereo” by The Cars?

SnarkTank

Backed by William Hung and the Hung Jury!

jesuswasablack

“Judge Napolitano”

What Judge Judy wasn’t available for comment?

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

He sounds like a mascot for an ice cream brand.

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

I almost always instantly reject any theory that relies on more than 2 people to collaborate, lie, and conceal. It applies here; it applies to the Stephen Avery case.

Also too this is dumb.

Msmlg1979

That documentry will ruin any faith you ever had in the justice system, won’t it? Scary and tragic.

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

I think it highlights how corrupt local-level stuff really can be. We tend to hear or think of corruption belonging to the super rich and powerful but it can be in our backyard. Esp because local stuff is just easier to manipulate.

If you’re looking for another dilemma-inducing whodunnit, try the series The Staircase on iTunes.

Villago Delenda Est

Even in relatively “uncorrupt” places, there’s some greasing of skids on government contracts for friends of the County Commissioners, easing of environmental and land use rules for the benefit of big contributors, and so forth. Done pretty much in the open because this stuff isn’t nearly as fascinating as some celebrity’s sex life.

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

Makes me look twice at my small town neighbors, that’s for sure!;)

Jen_Baker_VA

ya should. Backwater VA is infinitely more corrupt than city VA and that is sayin somethin

Greg Comlish

Yeah, my high school love interest worked for the county clerk and by her own account she was complicit in embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of several years. The method was crude: issuing checks for “reimbursement” of bogus expenses that never accrued in the first place or that had already been reimbursed.

Msmlg1979

Thank you for the recommendation. I love true crime. Would love to know who you think killed Teresa Halbach.

Dean Strang and Jerry Buting were incredibly brilliant, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m in love with both of them.

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

OMG right?? Dream team.

I ALSO LOVE TRUE CRIME so if you find something else, lmk. The Staircase is awesome, so if you watch it, lmk!

As for who ACTUALLY KILLED HER, I think that’s the absolute hardest question to answer. I don’t think Brendan was involved. I don’t think Stephen Avery did it, although that’s not so much based on facts as… hunch? I honestly think he would have plead guilty to reduce his jail time. But I acknowledge that it is possible.

A lot of ppl think the brothers, which is, I suppose, plausible. I definitely don’t think it was some big cop conspiracy; I think they saw an opportunity and ran with it. It seems like it should have been someone in/around the Avery area to have seen her and been able to take advantage of the opportunity. As weird as her bro and ex seem, I just don’t see them concocting some plan to kill her and also implicate Avery — why? So elaborate, so risky. I don’t think we’ll ever know, which is awful.

Msmlg1979

I definitely believe it was someone who lived on the Avery compound. I lean toward Scott Tadych. We probably will never know, which makes me sad for Ms. Halbach, and drives me insane, although not as crazy as season one of Serial, from which I will never recover. If you haven’t listened to Serial, do it!

I read a lot of true crime, and I highly recommend Ann Rule, particularly The Stranger Beside Me. You can’t go wrong with Ann Rule.

I’m going to see if The Staircase is on my Google Play!

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

Serial S1 totally had me hooked. I listened through 2x and have thought about doing it again. I haven’t done S2 yet, kind of holding off so I’ll have something to look forward to.

I really need to review the middle eps of MaM because it seems like the brother/Scott Tadych thing is the aspect of the case I’m haziest on, and most people I know think that’s the solution.

Msmlg1979

I’m holding off on Serial season 2 as well. I’m not listening until it’s complete. I found The Staircase on Google play, and as soon as I listen, we will compare notes!

Save the GIF. Then come back and hit “Reply”. Use the image icon at the lower left to browse to where you saved the GIF. Hit save on the window that comes up and it will show up here just fine. Note: Disqus requires some characters in the comment field as well.

just proves a preoccupation with other people’s recreational sex has consequences.

Joe Beese

The 538.com weighted polling averages in IA. Golly.

Villago Delenda Est

Doesn’t look good for ¡Heb!.

Perhaps they need to burn another big pile of benjamins.

Joe Beese

Well, he isn’t aiming any higher than top-6 in IA anyway. It’ll be the gang-stomping he’s gonna get in NH that may make him decide to spend more time with his family.

But I feel like I’m present at one of those Moments In History. Those lunatic Republican voters are actually going to nominate Donald Fucking Trump and there doesn’t seem to be any force on earth able to stop them.

Jen_Baker_VA

They can nominate him. He won’t win the general. If he tries to walk back his crazy to appeal to anyone marginally sympathetic, he loses his base. If he does not walk back the crazy, he is stuck with 90% of the GOP base (10% staying home and crying in their cheerioes) and that ain’t gonna get him over the hump of whichever D he is running against. It’ll be close like all of em are close, but the electorial collage will landslide toward the left. Again. Just like 4 years ago when we re-elected a sitting president who’s popularity numbers were in the low 40%.

Assuming of course Democrats get out there and vote and one group does not sit out in spite of whomever gets the D nod. That would be key.

Biel_ze_Bubba

Nothing will get out the Dem vote like a Trump candidacy.

Pinkham’s Law

Not sure about that. People could feel so sure he can’t win that they, mistakenly, figure their vote isn’t important. If people think they can just stay home and gloat when the returns come in, there’s gonna be some seriously unhappy Dems at the end of the night.

eddi

Your lips to your ex-boss’ ears.

deanbooth

But his running mate could be, um, a “game changer”!

bozilingus

Anybody else will pale in comparison.

Querolous

You betcha!

Jenny

I hope so, hopefully the economy doesn’t tank.

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

I LOVE looking at the rise/fall in “real time” — those two weeks where they were neck and neck, what’s making the gap wider this time? Probably Trump actually being here a bunch.

And selfishly, I think 538 best reflects what’s happening on the ground in Iowa. But in general I hate polls.

Joe Beese

The exit polls may have something interesting to tell us. But it really seems to have been the birther nonsense that reversed the momentum.

Biel_ze_Bubba

We all rolled our eyes and snickered at the idiocy of it . . . but Trump knows his audience.

Jen_Baker_VA

What, easily duped, rabid, hostile and hate filled?

Whale Chowder

…but enough about my extended family!

Quercus

So Fiorina’s in 10th place? Ah. That’s just lovely.

Joe Beese

Santorum is in zeroth place.

Villago Delenda Est

Quite a contrast to his status four years ago, where he and the Rmoneytron were neck and neck.

The Wanderer

Until Romney unveiled his “KILL IT WITH FIRE!” strategy, meaning he threw loads and loads of money at Ricky and finally buried.

Hutch

Frothy Mix should be in negative territory soon.

Mavenmaven

Running behind is where Santorum is usually found.

BehaveYrself

Ew and bravo.

drbloor

Looks like John and Carly are sitting next to each other on the Orange line to East Bumfuck.

The Wanderer

I’ve been to East Bumfuck, and it’s a nice place. Too nice to spoil with the likes of Kasich and Failerrina.

Jeamonn

Da fuck? Fox’s whole business model is a political hit job. Fuck these guys.

Villago Delenda Est

As I am sure everyone in the Wonketariat is tired of me posting, it’s always projection.

Jen_Baker_VA

Never tire of it, Villago. Must credit Villago.
You need to have a meme or 60000000 with that line emblazoned on it for every situation that comes up

Gleem-McShinez

You can’t say it enough.
If you said it every single time they did it, you’d maybe be halfway through by the time the heat death of the universe happened.

Anarchy Pony

IOKIYAR.

cat cafe

These guys are incapable of anything but projection. Everything they say is literally a projection of what they are doing, thinking, or believing.

Jen_Baker_VA

A republican DA following the orders of a Republican AG, following the further orders of a Republican Govenor….
And it is some liberal plot XD Wingnuts don’t get stuff like fact. Good thing grand juries do

Max Newman

It seems yet again the universe is determined to show that reality has a liberal bias.

eddi

The universe is characterized by constant change within a frame of laws that apply to everything. It couldn’t be more liberal.

Biel_ze_Bubba

Who excluded Fox “News” viewers from the jury?

Jen_Baker_VA

I am almost sure there were Fox News viewers on the Jury, it being Texas even in so called Blue Huston. Their problem was they were the type of viewers able to discern fact from fiction

lroom

Discerning fact from fiction guarantees there were no Fox News watchers.

Pinkham’s Law

Some people want to make sure they don’t live in an echo chamber. Others enjoy gawking at crazy people.

TheBidenator

What makes me shudder in all of this is realizing the Andrew Napolitano used to be a judge…I mean this guy has already tried and convicted Planned Parenthood before the investigation even started and he wants to exonerate that scumbag Daleiden before the evidence against him is even disclosed….fuck me.

Villago Delenda Est

Napolitano is too dense to realize that he’s following the Joe Stalin school of jurisprudence.

TheBidenator

Imagine this douche when he was on the bench,
Prosecutor: “Your honor this is the state of Texas v. Fartsucker and the state is charging Mr. Fartsucker with murder for shooting a black kid…”
Napolitano: “Innocent!”
Prosecutor: “But Your Honor, we haven’t even presented any evidence or formal charges”
Napolitano: “I said innocent! Actually, prosecutor I want you to charge the victim as he was obviously in process of committing a crime at the time”
Prosecutor: “But Your Honor, he was just walking home”
Napolitano: “That’s it, contempt!”
Scene

cat cafe

It’s like the Nazi judges screaming at people who tried to call out the concentration camps as murder and had them dragged off and shot.

Whale Chowder

He’s being well paid to take those positions and pander to the viewers.

Mavenmaven

Everyone knows the “law” doesn’t apply to Real Americans.

Quercus

Yup. Those red-blooded Bundy boys been proving that loud and clear.

lroom

Yes they have.

E S

These people should also be indicted for conspiracy to commit terrorism re Colorado Springs. My understand is that conspiracy has nothing to do with intention, but means you furthered the cause of a criminal act, even inadvertently. So if I mug a guy and tie him up, and you, coming by far after I had left, or thought of him, took advantage of his trussed up state by slitting his throat, I am just as guilty as you are for the murder. In this sense it seems very possible these lies conspired with the terrorist in Colorado.

Villago Delenda Est

I understand where you’re coming from, and while I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on the Internet or Television, the thing is that I know enough about the law to say that proving that beyond a reasonable doubt is very difficult to do because even a reasonable doubt is very much in the eye of the beholder.

E S

My august authority and wisdom comes from serving on a jury in a conspiracy trial 30 years ago. It involved a criminal who pick pocketed a man while he was taking a leak at the notoriously shady Penn Station Mens Room, already an attractive enterprise. About two minutes later, while being chased from the scene, the criminal fumbled the wallet and kept going without it. Another similarly attractive guy unrelated to him, spotted the wallet and thought he could get it because everyone was chasing the other guy, and pocketed it. Both were eventually caught. Unrelated. Both were charged with all the crimes: the guy who picked the wallet up was also guilty of pickpocketing. Very possibly I misunderstood the case, and you are perfectly right in saying it was hard to try. We ended up deliberating for 4 days in sequester, for what was a pretty minor crime, because all of us had trouble wrapping our brains about conspiracy.

Villago Delenda Est

Yeah, this stuff is very tricky. I think a lot of prosecutors won’t go there because it’s highly dependent on getting the jury properly prepared to connect the dots when they’re spaced widely apart. Some juries might, and some juries won’t, and prosecutors will go for the slam dunk over the complicated pass around and layup. Too much can go wrong during the passing around part.

lroom

At least someone should sue for slander every time they open their damn mouths.

calliecallie

I would say that these people are all tools of the Devil, but I thought the Devil was supposed to be charming. Okay, they’re just tools, I guess.

Wee Mousie

Even tools have a use. These a contriving contrivances.

beatbort

Judge Neapolitan Ice Cream also believes that the landing on the moon in 1969 was actually staged in a TV studio in Burbank.
Are we sure that “Judge” isn’t just his first name, and that he’s not really a robed member of the judiciary?

Hutch

I prefer “Comodore” Napolitano goin’ down with the good ship Fox.

bupkus23

He was a judge in the late 80s and early 90s in New Jersey. He resigned his seat in order to pursue more profitable activities ( Gee, if a judge in New Jersey can’t make a buck, where else does he have to go? )
Continuing to give the man the title “Judge” is just unserious resume-inflation.

TheBidenator

It’s always cute to see Fox try to disguise a right wing redirect and damage control as an interview….

Robyn Ryan

1984….only the dates have changed…

CriticalDragon1177

“Fox News” truly is Orwellian. So sorry I didn’t realize that much earlier.

cat cafe

Oh, yes, from the very beginning of Fox News. It’s their playbook. Ignorance is strength, freedom is slavery, war is peace. To the letter. Not to mention “doublethink” and “newspeak.”

orygoon

I just feel sorry for the WonkStaffer who has to follow Fox. I’m pretty sure they couldn’t pay me enough to go there.

jesuswasablack

Poor FAUX news they just can’t get away with lying all the time, lets review just a few of the many manufactured lines of bullshit coming from that televised cesspool shall we:

Obama’s not a citizen, sorry born in Hawaii not Canada
Solyndra, investigated no charges, sorry
Fast and Furious – actually started under W, investigated no charges, sorry
IRS targets tea-tards, no targeting tax cheats, investigated no charges, sorry
Benghazi, imagine Americans get killed in the middle east by terrorists, investigated no charges, sorry
Planned Parenthood actually tried to get PP personnel locked up, prosecutors decided to charge the pro-life loons instead!

hahahaha you fucking ignorant tea-tards keep watching FAUX, you’ll be left behind and never know what happened!

Villago Delenda Est

It’s a pity there was no Faux Noise in 1992 to jump on the Whitewater bandwagon and add that to their resume of non-scandal scandals.

revenant

have heard that it’s founding was partly in response to “Whitewater”, because apparently the corporate media was, despite their servile practice of amplifying every lie and slander from the get-Clinton camorra, still too independent for the RWNJs.
sort of like the way the Washington Times (the Moonie paper) was started by Sun Myung Moon at the request of Richard Nixon, because the corporate media of his day sometimes failed to present 100% RW propaganda.

pat tolle

@ jesuswasablack- you forgot him being the first president I can recall being asked about college grades and an attempt to make his college transcripts an issue.

Jeamonn

As far as wing nut tears go these are legendary. Fruity with a flowery aroma, followed by a robust aftertaste of fresh spring schadenfreude.

Fucks Gnus lies to its viewers – and that’s how we end up with 1/3 of the electorate believing crazy shit that’s divorced from reality. Worst thing imaginable for a democracy, and those fuckers are doing it deliberately.

Pickwicknext

Gnu libelz!!! Gnus are too adorable to be associated with this

Wee Mousie

Fucks Noose: It’s twisted and knotted and hangs in a tree, but it IS deadly.

Robyn Ryan

States sabotage their residents’
educations..

cat cafe

The Koch brothers have used a lot of their influence to stop civics from being taught in schools. It’s part of the non-funding of education. It isn’t actually related to the student rebellions but to the John Birch movement.

“Um, could you please stop parking in my space?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t even in town this weekend.”
“…yes you were. I saw you, like, three times on Saturday.”
“WHY ARE YOU POLITICIZING THE ISSUE?!?!”

Quercus

Don’t forget to throw in a little religious freedom!

DahBoner

“I swear to God I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

cat cafe

“And you parked in front of my car all day Sunday!” “Well WHY WEREN’T YOU IN CHURCH?” “Even if I wanted to go to church, I couldn’t have, because you were parked in front of my car.” “Sure, that’s what the government WANTS you to believe, sheeple.”

Land Shark

needs moar spittle.

fawkedifiknow

Political prosecutions for thee, but not for me, is what hair- slick Napolitano means to say.

Vegetablebrothel

I’m so angry that I can’t be sanctimoniously angry!

DoILookAmused2u ?

I am shocked that a group with a history of making libellous videos with strong ties to an organization that includes convicted terrorists …

did something illegal? Get out.

Pat_Pending

I am shocked that gambling has been going on in this establishment.

Here are your winnings…

Sir Derf

Amen, sister!

Odd Jørgensen

“they’re using tax dollars to kill babies and sell their body parts.”

3 proven lies in a 12 word sentence, if this is not cause for a libel suit, what is?

lroom

Please please make this happen somebody!

TheBidenator

Wingnuts beat off to those 12 words in furious circle jerks…it’s almost like the white nationalist 12 words in its bizarre clarity.

Pinkham’s Law

I’m not seeing 3 lies, only two. They do get tax dollars, they just don’t use that money for “killing babies”. Could someone hit me (gently, please!) with a cluebat about what I’m missing?

Odd Jørgensen

Can you name 1 baby that has been killed by PP? No you can`t, because they are NOT KILLING ANY FUCKING BABBIES!!!11!!

Pinkham’s Law

Hence, I put it in quotes. While it is more correctly a fetus, it is common to refer to an unborn fetus as “a baby,”especially in casual conversation. If you feel that constitutes a lie in this situation, cool. I see it as a rhetorical flourish, obviously used for its emotional impact, but not out of line.

Odd Jørgensen

Correct, in casual conversation such as . Oh, you`re having a baby? Asking people if they are having a fetus would be somewhat out of place, just as it is out of place to say “I`m off to the good doctor to kill this baby here” when you`re having an abortion.

Pinkham’s Law

But, “What are you going to do – have the baby, give it up for adoption, or will you have an abortion?,” wouldn’t be an outrageous question(obviously requires right person+situation). Abortion is an emotionally charged subject. While a bit disingenuous, I understand why they would prefer, and use, the word “baby” rather than “fetus.” I understand why the pro-choice folks don’t want them to – it’s very effective.

Also, I find it difficult to call this a lie, when it is a major part of the disagreement. When does “life” begin. They believe it begins in the womb, not at birth. Therefore, as far as they are concerned, that fetus IS a babby. It’s really not fair to call your opponent a liar for stating the basis of their argument, unless you can prove that their position is wrong, *and* that they know it.

Odd Jørgensen

according to their bible, life begins at first breath, so they can`t use the religious excuse without being dishonest, which never stops them though. Lying for Jebus™ is an old tradition they hold to dearly.

Pinkham’s Law

“according to their bible, life begins at first breath.” I was not aware of that – hadn’t read that deeply into the Bible. Do you happen to have book, chapter, verse to hand? Not a gotcha question, honestly curious, since you seem well versed in the matter.

Even ruling out the religious angle, it seems a rhetorical device that is, really, quite reasonable for a discussion so emotionally charged. Do you have an explanation for why this should be disallowed?

BTW, I’m really not trying to be a pain in the ass. I’m quite enjoying the opportunity to discuss in more than sound byte fragments.

This business of what people “believe”: there are people who believe that climate change is a hoax. They are not welcome to believe whatever they want. Science makes these calls. This is why the word for fetus is “fetus,” and the word for a born kid is “baby.”

Pinkham’s Law

From dictionary.com:
1.
a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

They can be wrong without being liars.*

*Pedantry can be so much fun!

malsperanza

No, “Oh, you’re having a baby?” is a grammatical elision of “Oh, you’re [going to have] a baby [in the future]?”

If it were referring to a baby currently inside you, it would be, “Oh, you have a baby?” But you don’t yet have a baby, so that’s not what people say.

This is also why a period does not = a miscarriage and a miscarriage does not = manslaughter or require a death certificate.

I think one can pinpoint where they went wrong quite easily. They neglected to dress up like a 70s sitcom pimps for the interviews they did.

Lefty Frizzell

Napolitano is straight out saying that the prosecutor ordering the grand jury to indict PP is not political, the prosecutor ordering the grand jury to indict CMP is politcal, and the prosecutor not ordering any indictments, just letting the GJ listen to the evidence, is impossible.

That’s what he’s saying, right?

Based on not having been there, and not having seen or heard any of the evidence except the videos? Videos, the veracity of which is the dispute that makes up the entire case?

It’s time to dig up that great, great phrase from a couple of weeks ago – “emasculating burlesque ride of fail”.

Jen_Baker_VA

It is always a plot if it does not go the way we want it to.
-New GOP motto

lroom

New?!

Villago Delenda Est

It’s not like that asshole Frist didn’t diagnose Terry Shiavo via videotape, now is it?

TheBidenator

Ya know, Nazi Germany had judges like Andrew Napolitano and everyone knew that if you were not a Nazi Party member, lube yourself up because you’re going to get screwed. I’m just saying, this guy may be the worst Judge I have ever heard of….talk about ripping the blindfold off Lady Justice and then popping her left eye out.

Jen_Baker_VA

It’s not True Murrican Justice if you do not pronounce your decision before you hear any evidence at all.
And here you thought that was just for the common man :D

eddi

Welcome back our old friend Judge Lynch.

revenant

they had a legal doctrine called “volksgericht” (“people’s justice”), under which anyone could be convicted of anything, regardless of law or evidence; all you needed was to have a Nazi decide you were guilty of whatever and haul you before a “people’s court”. doesn’t sound at all familiar, does it, “Judge” Napolitano?

TheBidenator

“We must go where the evidence leads us,”
This statement is to Fox News as holy water is to a vampire…

Tony Alexander

*”We must go where theour evidence leads us,”*

fify!!!

cat cafe

We must go where we pre-decided it should go, irrespective of any evidence! Evidence is lies! Ignorance is knowledge! War is Peace!

So, the respectable, objective journalist is bleeding out of her wherever, eh?

Talk about leading the witness the judge!

Rick Hill

Which is why it’s so important to keep electing republicans. Make the laws apply to the people they want. Use their power to punish people who don’t vote for them. Let the grown ups run the country and make America great again!

Robyn Ryan

They are not denying ‘healthcare.’ They are denying citizens control over their own bodies. Slavery. 3/5s citizens whose Constitutional rights are less than those of a sperm.

Villago Delenda Est

You have to first assume that anyone with a vagina is a citizen. These maggots make no such assumption.

All these fucking loons running for Preznit aren’t helping mah main man out at all. He’s starting to sound down right sane in comparison. But he is just as full of shit:

“Ted Cruz has got a bunch of members of Congress, solid conservatives, a
whole bunch of them that have come out and endorsed Ted,” he said. “I’m
not aware of anybody in the House that has endorsed Trump.”

Really, Louie? Name one current Senator that has endorsed Cruz. That Mike Lee guy that is always licking Ted’s taint probably will, but I don’t know that he has yet.

TheBidenator

He has wrapped his prezinential ties around his neck a bit too securely lately for auto erotic asphyxiation, hasn’t he?

Damian L

“Licking Teds taint” I had to read that right before supper,Gee thanks!

Left Coast Tom

Besides…the GOP establishment is warming up to Trump not because they like him, or because they want any Senators to have to run with Trump on top of the ticket…they hate that. They’re just not quite sure how disastrous Trump would be, but know full well how disastrous Cruz would be.

chicken thief

To that point, Trump, in a rare policy rant, was advocating price negotiation for prescription drugs last night noting how much it would save Medicare and Medicaid. The horror… the horror…..

AnOuthouse

Is Carly on suicide watch or still doubling down on her lies?

Villago Delenda Est

She’s tripling down on them.

clubseal

The parts of her lies are squirming on the table. I have video.

cleos_mom

Still. Yelling. Despite. Face. Frozen.

Left Coast Tom

Carly, and her lies, are one. Just like Sauron and the ring.

Gleem-McShinez

“So does this sound like a political hit job? Or what is this?”

Thank you Megyn, for your accurate review of 13 Hours.

clubseal

The Clubseal Most Accurate Review(tm) of 13 Hours: “Bullshit propaganda.”

CriticalDragon1177

Speaking of Abortion Guys, Wonkette, seriously needs to do a story on this! It combines two of the things Wonketters love about the American far right, racism, and the desire to control women’s bodies. Oh and its about Florida, America’s craziest state.

Dear fucking universe,
you can quit it now. We’re good with the crazy, no need to go ramping it up another notch every day or so
Sincerely,
Jen

CriticalDragon1177

Sorry the universe, doesn’t exactly care what we want, if it did, I could eat pizza every day, and stay in shape and not get fat without exercising.

Jen_Baker_VA

Nonsense. Your pizza argument rather strongly suggests that not only does the Universe care what we want, it has a really perverse sense of humour. IE, it makes sure we can’t get what we want.
But if we try sometimes, we just might find, we get what we need

zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

Sweet jesus. What is happening with the white nationalism shit that’s revving up lately?? UNREAL.

Jen_Baker_VA

Black president. Been ramping up pretty hard core for 7 years now.
Well, it was always there, but now there is a figurehead besides Sharpton to nail to the proverbial burning cross

cleos_mom

That’s a mild reaction compared to the one if we get the first female President next year. The hate will be ramping up on the left as well as the right.

Beyond the cray cray of that story with the white womenz must stay home and shuck puppies every 9 months is the fact Floriduhhhh actually passed the no abortion thing. Even though it is completely unconstitutional and will cost the tax payers all the moniez when it is challenged in court and will no doubt be thrown out. Le sigh.

Thanks for the clarification. Glad it didn’t pass. I should have looked it up before replying to M3bosha.

cmd

Well, the only reason I know all that is that we were listening to that subcommittee hearing at work up till about 5 (for the basic criminal justice stuff) and then I heard about this bill on the radio this morning and, even though I was sort of tuning in and out of the hearing I thought, how did I miss that. So I looked it up this morning and we figured this happened after we turned it off. I would be surprised if even Florida goes so far as to get it past where is.

CriticalDragon1177

Worse case scenario is that it isn’t somehow. The anti abortion “pro life” movement has been slowly chipping away at Roe. The far right has been far more successful there, than they have been at either rolling back gay rights, or bringing back mandatory school prayer.

Grokenstein

“It’s them welfare queens what’re bleedin’ us dry!!”

lroom

Oregon Assholes libulz!

cleos_mom

That’s one of the stock arguments against doing anything about overpopulation: not enough white babies.

CriticalDragon1177

Off course that only stands a chance of convincing you, if you’re a white racist.

cleos_mom

Which adds up to quite a large mailing list.

CriticalDragon1177

Unfortunately, Although thankfully, not as large as it would have been in the early twentieth century when we still had state mandated segregation and the Klan was at the height of its popularity.

cleos_mom

I recall the early 1960s clearly and even then, it was startling how socially acceptable the KKK had been.

orygoon

Sore losers, huh?

eddi

The sorest. Nobody at Fox will be able to sit comfortably for a week.

bupkus23

Once again, the “conservative” rhetoric is laced with violent imagery – “hit job”. How soon before we see our next Robert Deer? Freakin’ Kelly and Napolitano don’t even have the basic decency to add “…with votes” to their call for someone in their audience to hit DA Anderson and any Harris Co. resident who may look like they were on that grand jury.
Fix News needs to be held to account for the ravings of their favorite blatherers. How?

ryp

Just wait until Trey Gowdy is indicted for leaking top secret emails off of Hillary’s server.

CriticalDragon1177

Wouldn’t be surprised, these dishonest anti abortion fanatics are not going to give up very easily.

tehbaddr

This is a relief. I was beginning to suspect the big boxes of mixed Planned Parenthood Baby Parts hors d’oeuvres I’ve been buying contained chicken, or some lesser meat instead of actual baby parts!

Gary Charound

They’re umbilicious!

Aileen

So, just so I’m clear, the grand jury in this case either performed a political hit job or was used as a tool by the prosecutor to perform one, but the grand juries in the Darren Wilson / Micheal Brown case and the Tamir Rice case, they were serving up a nice slice of justice pie, right?

kaydenpat

You got it. That’s Rightwing logic for you.

Me not sure

1. State Attorneys General (mostly Republican) from all over the country conduct investigations into their state chapters of Planned Parenthood. No evidence of wrongdoing found. No charges filed.
2. Several House committees hold extensive hearings where witnesses are badgered and defamed. No evidence of legal violations found.
3. The DA in Houston (a Republican appointee) presents the evidence to a grand jury and again no finding of wrongdoing on the part of Planned Parenthood, but indictments against Daleiden and Merritt.
4. Every credible independent expert who looked at the videos has said that they were deceptively edited.
5. The recipients of the fetal tissue (not “baby parts” ) said that the only payments made were to cover the not inconsequential costs of shipping and handling those tissue samples safely and legally.
6. Abortions are legal and constitutionally protected.
7. Patients are within their rights under the law to donate these tissues for research purposes.
What does it take to convince the American public that this was a deliberate lie and a criminal conspiracy from day one?

What “American public”? Anyone sensible is convinced. What you’re referring to are people who have made a conscious choice to put tribal loyalty/poltiical bigotry above evidence, facts and logic. You know, fascists.

Me not sure

Well, I do live in the south. Proudly rejecting rationality for three centuries.

Riley Whodat Venable

Sadly it is no longer just us down South.

Me not sure

The torch has been passed.

alwayspunkindrublic

War of Northern Aggression libel!!11!

Me not sure

Do you mean the recent unpleasantness? I get the vapors just thinking about our brave boys and how they suffered.

alwayspunkindrublic

Hireling Union scum!

cleos_mom

But in the mid-19th century, when the civil war was in full flower (and decades before) there was enough disagreement about slavery to go to war over it but absolutely no disagreement whatsoever about race. The notion that nonwhites were born inferior to whites, and possibly weren’t quite the same species, was so socially acceptable it was taken for granted; and this is clear in primary sources: newspapers, magazines, diaries, letters, even schoolbooks. The current health of the virus of racism is in part due to the now-centuries long Grand Delusion of racism being a regional problem and not a systemic one.

kaydenpat

Some of us get it. I hope people are donating $$$ to keep PP strong. Their legal fees must be quite high with all they’re going through.

OldMayfly

So true, kaydenpat. I give my very modest donation monthly–“many and often fills the pot.” I consider it my dues for free American womanhood.

Snopes Shop

For Donald Trump to say it?

Me not sure

American politics has become a lot like a game of darts without a board. Anyone is free to throw in any direction they please and nobody cares about the score.

eddi

And care less who gets hurt in the melee. As long as the Rebs can declare they are winning.

SullivanSt

I wonder if Napolitano teaches his students at Brooklyn Law School that they should make outrageous accusations about the content of indictments they have not read, or that lawyers’ politics should trump the evidence and the law, or that the identity of the victim should play a crucial part in the decision of whether or not to prosecute a crime.

I wonder what Brooklyn Law School thinks of him saying all of this on national television. If he still practiced law I’d probably file a complaint with the New York State Bar Association.

lroom

Yes! They should not support him in any way after this and I would definitely not send my kid to school knowing this is what they have for teachers. That kinda thing hardly ever happens though.

alnnc

If they decided to fire him, he’d just go to Liberty University. They are much closer to his ideology anyway. He would fit right in.

rachelmap

Seriously, it makes one wonder whether Brooklyn Law School is really a law school.

Walter Wellstone

The sad part is that Fox is only taking that position because there’s advertising money in doing so. They know full well that there lots of stupid fucks out there who will want to watch them say these things because it fuels their rage. I seriously doubt most people at Fox give a flying fuck about any of this–or anything else. There may be some true believers working there and those are the ones who don’t need convincing to stay up late editing footage or cleaning up the studio for free as they think they’re contributing to the cause. The rest are probably there because they get paid to be there. That is the saddest part of this whole thing–how the Fox loyalists watching get taken and swindled and milked for keeping their TVs on and watching while Ailes and Murdoch make millions off of their stupidity. I almost feel sorry for the Fox News viewers but then I realize most are despicable pieces of shit and all I can say is “fuck them.”

rachelmap

“Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”

Walter Wellstone

“And let’s also not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city — that ain’t legal either.”

Paul Scarpelli

Napolitano is so stupid he doesn’t even know the difference between “inject” and “interject.”

Beaumarchais?

That they went to “It’s political!” so fast means they know they’ve lost and now have to change the argument. The great thing about this indictment is that it forces all the
advocates to react, because quite likely now it’ll be
proven in a court of law that the whole thing was a lie and their reputations will be damaged.

Other lies do their damage and if someone disproves them later, no one’s paying any attention.

kaydenpat

I’m hoping that PP wins its lawsuit against the videographers too. That should cause massive head explosions on the Right.

Duke

Lying sacks of shit sputtering that their pious ends justify their sack-of-shit means.

Sorry. American values say that you do the right thing and don’t lower yourself by saying the other people are enough worse that your sickening behavior doesn’t matter.

Right, Dick? Still having those delusions that torturing bad guys works. We know it makes you all tingly. That’s the real point, isn’t it: the tingle of being “better” and excusing your criminal acts because of it.

obadiahorthodox

I am an Atheist and have for years relied on P.P. for my fresh babies for lunch. WOO HOO!

GDF

Fauxnews…bullshit, bullshit, bullshit…and thanks for listening you inbred, imbecilic sons of bitches, oh, and by the way the Koch brothers stole your savings and pledged the money to Trump while you were sleeping. The American public…rubes so extraordinary that the “Flat Earth” theory (™) is making a 21st century resurgence. You cannot make up Stupid as dumb as us.

clubseal

So when a grand jury doesn’t indict a white cop for shooting an unarmed black man, it’s the justice system working as intended. When a grand jury doesn’t indict one’s favorite political target, the system is awry. Gotcha.

kaydenpat

You’ve got it!

cleos_mom

Karma keeps good records.

Grokenstein

So, if I were to take video of Judge Napolitano’s rant and switch out the audio with a high-pitched, girlish voice keening, “I like to murder babies and cook babies and eat babies, oh, yes I doooooo!,” would that be all the evidence Judge Napolitano needed to sentence Judge Napolitano to the electric chair for his evil deeds?

kareemachan

*Real* journalists don’t take the 5th when asked about their activities, either.

xy

is it possible to hit Fox with an EMP bomb and blow out all their electronics so they can never go on air again?

handyhippie65

but i like the simpsons, but i like your idea, but…oh crap, can it just be fox news?

451 Byrnes

My question is for blondie blonderton from blondesville. How do you stomache this? Does the peroxide just straight up rot your brain? I realize the Fox blonde crew can’t actually answer, but maybe there is a sympathetic scientist or a brunette who can help out here?

Good. I’m about sick of these private sector sting operations. They pretend to be journalists, but they’re really just vigilantes trying to set people up and casually breaking laws in the process. Hold them to the letter of the law.

kaydenpat

It worked so well with ACORN.

Relativicus

Napolitano almost — allllll-most — covered all the butthurt, but he missed the best one:

PP has really fucked up now [by forcing/buying off/blackmailing/etc. the grand jury. All of their crimes will be revealed during the discovery phase of Daleiden’s one-man production of “The Dreyfus Affair” (but far worse because Christian). And THEN! Ohhhhhh boy, and then they’ll be exposed!

Who you gonna believe…me or your lyin’ eyes? The Fox/wingnut aversion to reality is stunning. I’m reminded of the ’12 election night.

kaydenpat

When Rove had a meltdown because President Obama won Ohio? That was hilarious.

Jen_Baker_VA

Is this journalism you Republicans do to make yourselves feel better?

alwayspunkindrublic

That’s the one. I actually switched over to Fox-for the first time in my life-for a little schadenfreude. It was better than I could’ve imagined.

cleos_mom

The pre-returns gloating and subsequent reaction on Breitbart was even better!

Angela Ruzzo

I know that Wonkette does not allow comments, and has strict rules about the comments they don’t allow, but I really can’t help myself here. . . I have this mental fantasy. . . Daleiden. . . 5th Avenue. . . Trump. Connect the dots.

Left Coast Tom

You want someone to fire votes?

Angela Ruzzo

Whatever it takes.

Suse

Snarly is outraged to the max and is going to do something about it!

bseifried

Secretly become the head of PP and bring it down from within?

William Turner

Have you verified that he’s bipedal? I would have assumed he slithered like a snake. I mean, well, duh.

Republicans can never admit that they are wrong — somehow they’re always in the right. Facts be damned.

OldMayfly

That is because Right-Wingers reason backwards–i.e. “We are right, and you are wrong/sinful/whatever. Therefore, the verdict is against you and we are vindicated.

Matt Jones

“Real journalists do not make deceptive home videos with stock footage”

More to the point, “real journalists” don’t forge paperwork to make fake companies in highly-regulated industries…

therblig

nuke it from orbit. … It’s the only way to be sure.

SessileRaptor

For anybody who can’t read between the lines, if given the power and opportunity these types would set up kangaroo courts and show trials in a hot second. Nobody would be safe, and those FEMA camps they’re always on about? That’s called projection, they’re attributing to their enemies the actions they’d take if given the chance.

Bobby P

Once more the end justifies the means, for these people. According to them, lying for Jesus isn’t really lying, it’s saving souls.

Appears to be one dead (that sux. he may deserve it himself, but there are people who loved him still here to suffer the loss) and six arrested, per Oregon Live.

blaid droog

He bought his ticket. He said he wanted to go down in flames. Sounds like he got what he asked for. The people who loved him, tough shit. Prolly just like him.

Takoma DC

True. I think there’s a good chance the deceased was mentally ill. He abandoned his foster children and then complained about the State removing them from the home. His concern wasn’t so much the childten’s welfare as much as the checks that had stopped coming in.

A BUNCH of white criminals were arrested. It took months. Unlike law abiding black and brown people, law enforcement can’t figure out how to arrest law breaking officer threatening pale-skinned folks quickly.

I’m a bit late here, but this is another example of why I really do not like Megyn Kelly even a tiny little bit, despite the occasions where her self-interest accidentally intersects the public interest.

…..KELLY: So does this sound like a political hit job? Or what is this?

Go fuck yourself, you fucking sociopath.

OctopiRage

As lawyers they should know you can’t lead a witness, but this is alternate reality so it’s all good.

Takoma DC

Yes yer correct but she’s so purdy.

BigHorn

But today, don’t you root for her just a little bit against that shit heap T-Rump? I just hope Faux doesn’t cave, keeps her there, and the orange mold isn’t heard from for an evening.

Enfant Terrible

The CMP videos were “political hit jobs”.

Projection is most common among those who lack self-awareness.

/FFS

Dr. Krieger IRL

“Projection is most common among those who lack self-awareness.”
I love what that implies about people like Kim Davis and Huck!

jviscont1

in response Ben & Jerry have pulled their Napolitano flavor product.

Diane T.

“Blood-stained swizzle dick Daleiden is bitch squealing…”

I think I understand now why my professors in journalism school were so big on learning to avoid editorializing. While this is a delightfully written turn of phrase and my reporter hat is off to this writer, I really don’t give any f***ks at all what the writer’s opinion is and I think it just weakens the writing to put this little juvenile, name-calling hissyfit in there. That Fox is shitting its pants over the indictments going the other way is pure schadenfreude and speaks for itself. Why bother with the name calling? It’s like a high-school kid wrote this. I wish this had been written as a straight hard-news story, but I’ve come to realize that journalism is dead, there are no standards for writing on the internet, and any asshole with a keyboard can call themselves a reporter. I want my money for J-school back.

DinkyBossetti

Ok, but Wonkette isn’t a “straight hard-news” kind of site. It’s more of a dick joke emporium for people who like their dick jokes to be politically-themed. For this audience, the juvenile name-calling does not weaken the writing; it is part of its charm. It’s not for everyone, and that’s fine. To complain that journalism is dead because a writer on Wonkette engaged in the customary writing style of this website is to miss the point.
I’d ask for my money back, too, if my j-school education left me unable to discern whether or not I was reading a site that has straight non-editorialized news versus something like Wonkette.

Diane T.

I totally understand what kind of site it is. I’m complaining about journalism not just because of one writer on Wonkette, but because of all the “journalism” I see, even on hard-news sites.

bluicebank

Well you joined the once-storied field of journalism about 35 years too late. By the time USA Today began McNewsing the shit out of dailies everywhere, and beats when dark elsewhere, was about the time to bail. I was there.

You didn’t join a sinking ship. It done sunk and has nestled itself comfortably in a trench somewhere in the Atlantic.

Diane T.

Well, I joined it in the 80s, so that was pre-USA Yesterday. It was just sinking as I got started. I now work in another area of publishing that is also not just sinking, she’s shifting and listing too!

Lord-Nash

Concern troll is concerned.

bluicebank

“I want my money for J-school back.”

You have my vote. You didn’t get even a 101 class on how to investigate whether you’re commenting in, say, an Esquire genre publication, or in this case a Spy type filled with snark, sarcasm, dokturd pics, and dick jokes in response to news, rumors and allegedlies?

Diane T.

Oh, honey, there was no internet when I was in J-school. There were clear, delineated lines between hard news and everything else and back then, people didn’t get to talk back to the news source. I think that’s a good thing, mind you.

Foxbite

On what planet was this again? Community response has *always* been a vital part of journalism, even back in the dirty linotype press and wirephoto/facsimile days.

I get where you’re coming from, but the interesting lead sentence prose is what this website is all about. Welcome to wonkette.

Diane T.

Thanks. I’m a Gawker/Jezebel refugee. Bunch of their best writers came here, so I followed them. #FanGirl

Peripatetic Poltroon

Welcome aboard. We’re all about the snark here. Just don’t post comments; they’re not allowed.

grageo

It’s apparent that you’ve never been here before. This isn’t a newspaper, it’s one big snarky editorial – hence the “editorializing.”

Foxbite

Lucky for her comments aren’t allowed anyway.
(did I do that right? Someone Scooby Snack me if so!)

OrdinaryJoe

Journalism is dead. Died with Charles Foster Kane. This is Woneritaville. We come here for the editorial snark. When I want objective, unbiased, uneditorialized journalism, I go read…….well……uh……hmmmmm. Oh fuk. Just come here.

edith prickly

Juvenile name-calling is the Wonkette house style. Not to everyone’s taste, yes, but some of us prefer it to the staid “he said-she said” straight news formula – in which it is bad form to point out that right-wing hacktivists like Daleiden (and James O’Queef) are mendacious fuckbags bent on destruction. Or the tedious effusions of lazy, overpaid careerists who haven’t had an original thought in decades *cough* Friedman! Dowd! Brooks! *cough*

All that to say that when a right-win con job backfires as spectacularly as this one did, there will be guffawing and name-calling on yr Wonkette. We expect no less.

Incidentally, those schools tended to “avoid editorializing” so that they can turn out media personalities wishy-washy and non-threatening enough to attend the cocktail parties of thier subjects (how else can you get enough access to uncritically rely information that “both sides do it?”)

And, as various Wonkette sweatshop workers…er I mean “employees” have stated, most if thier stories are carefully researched (and thoroughly and expediently corrected when they are not) with links to “drier” reporting if one is so inclined. Despite the (often justified) anger at whatever repulsive bit of dumb they are talking about, the analysis is usually sensible (despite the fucking-ass cussing and other shit like tha.)

Generally I would rather listen to reality-based “editorializing” from Wonkette, than Objective Falsehoods from many bonafide “real” journalists who are “mature” enough to use political niceties to cover up for injustice.

That being said though I feel the same way about that Jon Stewart fellow. What was up with him? He seemed to act more like a comedian than a journalist. He should return his J-school degree too.

Frank Underboob

Wait, are you under the impression that Wonkette claims to practice unbiased journalism? Oh, my sweet summer child…

uniquename72

Welcome to your first day on the internet, Diane!

clever_sobriquet

You’re not from around here are you?

Bill Slider

Only in Puyin’s Russia, and Hitler’s Germany, does the phrase, liberty and justice for all, become one where the definition continuously changes.

Bill Slider

What goes around, comes around. If you are unfamiliar with this phrase, the Planned Parenthood grand jury results are the best example I have seen in quite awhile.

Lord-Nash

So how exactly did this work. After the investigation, does the DA bring the evidence AND the charges to the GJ, or does the DA bring the evidence and say, YOU have to decide what the charges (if any) are?

Just curious, but I’d guess it’s the first one.

cleos_mom

Anyone have any figures on how big a membership the “Center For Medical Progress” has?

Peripatetic Poltroon

3, I think. The 2 bonafide journalists, and the lady who keeps horses *in her fucking* house.

cleos_mom

My theory is that they share a membership list with the “Amercan college of Pediatricians”. Remember them?..

First, Cecile Richards kicked some congressmen right in their tea bags.

Now this. LoL

Sarah E. Grove

Wonkette Baby gets cuter all the time. Showing some serious kick-ass attitude in the new pic!

Jessica Neubauer

So let me get this straight? Juries only do what the prosecutors tell them to do, and she told them to leave PP alone so the system failed?
But if a black guy gets shot by a cop and the jury doesn’t indict the cop then it’s because “they followed the evidence independently” and Yay, the system worked?