It promised to be a scorcher as the troops gathered outside the tanatorio in Sorbas for another super hash. Organised by visiting hares, Doggy and Sprout, the hash routes took the runners and walkers through the town and the campo – the best of both worlds.

Sorbas is a truly Spanish town with a friendly atmosphere but the locals were certainly perplexed as runners and walkers in the colours of the rainbow traipsed through with whistles and hollers. The countryside surrounding Sorbas is pretty dramatic, with overhanging cliffs and lush greenery. Add it to your “must visit” list if it’s not already on there.

The RA, Two ‘Ats, was in fine voice as always… dishing out plenty of down-downs with the hares receiving the first of many. Doggy showed utter disrespect for the circle by not removing his hat, so was promptly marched back in for another song and a drink. Norman Bates was first up by not spotting the entrance to the bar despite it being right in front of him… while also failing to wear any hash gear.

After Norman came Marmite who was punished for “attending under condition”. Apparently she would only attend if Carpet Burns was there because she wanted a “decent run”. Carpet Burns took one for the team and joined Marmite for punishment. “Sisterrrrs… are doin’ it for themse-elves.”

Queenfisher was next up, despite her weakened state (Get well soon Queenfisher), and was hailed for her poetry. Based on the location of the opening circle… she nicknamed the event “Hashes to Hashes” and “Dust to Dust”.

Norman was dragged back into the middle, but this time was joined by Slot Machine. Both were given down-downs for their journeys in. Norman’s for complaining about the amount of oestrogen in his car on the journey up. Slot Machine had been asked “Did you come with Puff?” and responded with “Yes but I pretended it was an asthma attack.” Well – when have hashers ever let the truth get in the way of a good story eh?!

Screw on the Loose was next up for being a Front Running Bast*rd… just by way of a change.

Key Fob and Kingfisher conspired as snitches in their accusations of “drug taking” by Queenfisher. Being an ex prison officer, this was deplored. Apparently her “dealer” was Screw on The Loose who had asked, “Do you want a suck on this?”

It was also cause for celebration with Angela being christened as Pound Shaker. Extra congratulations must be awarded though, because she has lost nine pounds in just four weeks…. all part of her preparation for an upcoming run. Coincidentally, Doggy had found a tenner… so it all evens out in the end.

After the closing circle, a number of hashers retired to “El Sitio” for the €12 menu del día which was, by all accounts, haute cuisine. Unfortunately, someone had also invited the entire wasp population of Southern Spain. We’d have preferred the rugby crew from Twyford Avenue…. less in your face!