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Major Kong, as they close the gap to their target, conducts additional readiness training with his B-52 crew:
"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. "

More from Major Kong

"Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!"

We could go on for days. We should go on for days.

Isn't it curious, I always root for the '52 crew to get through even though it means the end of the world. I also root for Mandrake to succeed. Cognitive dissonance I guess.

U.S. Astronaut Complaints About the Russian Space Station

10. They get angry when you call them "Astro-Russkies"
9. It's powered by a donkey on a treadmill
8. There ain't nothing messier than zero-gravity borscht
7. The inflight movie always stars Yakov Smirnoff
6. They're constantly bragging that "Chekov could've beaten the crap
out of Captain Kirk"
5. Ever since accident, they can't shut off the left turn signal
4. Russian Tang tastes even worse than American Tang *
3. When they get mad at you, they kick-dance you right in the head
2. Russian idea of a balanced meal: half a potato and a pint of vodka
1. The d*&* thing smells like cabbage