Show those motherf*ckers you're serious!™

April 09, 2005

ABB to English Dictionary

Despite our impressive growth during the last year, the independent Reverse Vote Swapping current within the progressive movement remains the minority position. Therefore, many of our loyal ReverseVoteSwappers must communicate with Anybody But Bush-style hopeless idealists. This can be a difficult and frustrating enterprise, but is sometimes necessary nevertheless. Unfortunately, ABB liberals cannot help but cloud their naivete with fuzzy, largely incomprehensible language. Alternately, ABB liberals use words like "pragmatic" to mean their literal opposite, confusing things further.

In order to better facilitate the ability of serious pragmatists to engage in debate with Kerrycrats, ReverseVoteSwap.org is happy to announce the launch of our ABB to English Dictionary project. We hope you find this initial batch of translations useful. We would also be pleased to post additional translations upon request, should you stumble across some new, incomprehensible ABB-ism overlooked by our dictionary.

ABB to English Dictionary

527

organ for unlimited transmission of ca$h money from the economic bourgeoisie to the political bourgeoisie; well-suited to individual rich twits with exotic agendas (eg, destroying Ralph Nader) that do not motivate cohesive fractions of the ruling class

action

voting for a Democrat and shutting the fuck up

base

constituencies that voted for Democrats 30-40 years ago

coalition

organization which, although strictly following the Democratic Party line, is named something other than "Democratic Party"

campaign

subsidiary political actions attached to an ordinary electoral campaign, but legally structured to circumvent financing laws

constituency

any group of people that might vote for Democrats on any basis; though meaningless given political equivalence of two major parties, the fundamental category of liberal sociological theory

a state in which the opressed are relatively quiet about their oppression

political education

explaining to serious progressives the need to 1) vote for Democrats with whom they disagree on all political points and 2) shut the fuck up

politics

the art of the currently-existing

pragmatism

complete capitulation without any demands, eg: entering the Kerry camp without winning even a single progressive plank in his campaign; also: any strategy that defies elementary logic, eg: voting for reactionary Democrats to encourage them to move left

principle

ceremonial declaration; non-binding rhetoric that does not serve as a guide to action

progress

a condition in which the majority of reactionary measures are undertaken by Democrats rather than by Republicans

progressive

the state of being not quite as reactionary as a thing could possibly be under different circumstances

progressive infrastructure

a new channel through which people can donate ca$h money to triangulating Democrats, generally made possible through the careful use of new letterhead

progressive movement

the act of telling serious progressives to 1) vote for pro-war Democrats and 2) shut the fuck up