The most beautiful thing about Matthew McConaughey is that he’s just so damned good at being Matthew McConaughey. And Magic Mike was such a perfect role that it somehow allowed McConaughey the space to be even more McConaughey, like a cheetah that had been cooped up in a zoo suddenly allowed to roam the savannahs, taking down prey in glorious slow motion. It was beautiful. In a recent piece about the man, the myth, the sexual cheetah, Vulture writes that “Matthew McConaughey’s Magic Mike Oscar Campaign Begins Now.”

Yeah, count us in. Not only does Matthew McConaughey deserve an Oscar for Magic Mike, the Academy needs to go back a few years and start retroactively taking away awards for less awesome performances to keep them from cheapening McConaughey’s honor. It’s not really acting – they may need to create an entirely new award, called “Best Matthew McConaughey.”

“Sealing the sentiment with a chest bump.” The question he was asked, incidentally, was “did you really write that Ladies of Tampa song?” But it might as well have been “Hey, Wooderson! Ya like pussy?”

When moderator Pete Hammond [puke] asks McConaughey, “Why do you think this movie connected so well?” every woman in the audience responds with a lusty, guilty laugh — and the answer.

You could tell me that McConaughey didn’t thrust his hips at the audience when he said “low-hanging fruit,” but it already happened that way in my mind, and at this point, anything different would be a lie.

“Now that you’ve learned all those cool moves, will you be using them in your personal life?” asks one woman.
“Yeah, I’m fire-breathin’ every night,” laughs McConaughey.

Fire-breathin’! It means nothing and yet it’s perfectly descriptive! Look, just aim the camera at McConaughey, make sure he’s miced and get out of the way.

McConaughey recalls that after filming three big movies over consecutive summers — each of which required him to doff his shirt — an Australian journalist told him, “It’s kind of becoming a real phenomenon,” then showed him an online image search filled with “eighteen [shirtless] pictures, side by side,” says the actor. “And I was like, ‘No shit? That’s what everyone thinks I do, that’s all I do?’ I do do it daily, but it’s not all I do.” But not to fear: When McConaughey puts weight back on, the shirt may again come off. “I do like doing it. And I’ll do it some more.”

Thank God. You can see McConaughey looking freaky playing a guy with AIDs in Dallas Buyer’s Club below, but I’ll be happy when he’s all greased up and shirtless again. Seeing McConaughey with his shirt on is like seeing a sad tiger in a cage. FREE THAT BEAST! LET HIM BREATHE FIRE!