A Bread-Like Substance

I was going to Martha it up this weekend.

I was going to Elf like it was Christmas Eve and Mrs. Claus left the liquor cabinet unlocked.

Yes, “elf” is now a verb. Make a notation in your dictionary.

To elf: To behave in a creatively holiday way. To engage in crafting/cooking/wrapping for Christmas. Especially in a manner that will make neighbors and relatives annoyed with the Christmas-y miracle that is you.

We have some neighbors of whom we are fond.

Not THAT neighbor.

We also have a few friends with whom we exchange holiday goodies.

So each year we do a small bake-a-thon to give something from the Nummy Family to these people.

This year we decided to make mini-loaves of bread.

Himself even made a stop at a cooking supply shop to get the wee bread pans.

And I just thought of this! They make Snowman marshmallow peeps now, so you could lick off… uh, SPONGE off the Snowman pattern and turn them into a whole Holy Family using food coloring or non-toxic markers or something… and make them clothes out of… um… bacon? Okay, I’m losing it…

Oh dear. I’ve never received crater bread, although I have occasionally MADE it, but not in adorable itty bitty pans. I did get an undercooked pumpkin pie once. This was how I learned you never give away something until you have stuck a knife in the center and made sure it came out clean.

Okay, so I was doing some elfing of my own this weekend and I thought about you.

I was wondering how many Martha Points I would get for baking 3 dozen smores cupcakes, 4 dozen red velvet cupcakes, 2 batches of chocolate chip cookies, 2 batches of sugar cookies, and too many loaves of bread. In addition to all the baking I vacuumed my entire house and cleaned all the bathrooms.

All of that elfing was done with a 17 lb baby that is going through separation anxiety on my hip.

And cooking disasters, I’ve got one for you. Before I learned to cook (kinda sorta) I was making a dip that called for two cloves of garlic but that didn’t seem like enough for me so I added more…except I thought cloves of garlic and head of garlic were the same thing…let that s(t)ink in for a minute. Yeah. I did that, I put two and a half HEADS of garlic into something. I think my house still smells funny.

I would have totally spackled. Then sprinkled something distracting on the top so they would be like “Aww how beautiful” and not notice it when they cut it. Chocolate Chip Banana bread sounds yummy. I think you need to add a few recipes onto the end of the post. 🙂 I think baking 3 kinds of bread deserved more points.

I think your math is faulty; 3 types of holiday mini-breads at 5 points per type = 15 points. You only failed at ONE type, so you’re still got 10 points. (I’d totally take some of that crater bread anyway, by the way – it looks yummy!)

The extent of our elfing was melting chocolate chips and adding chopped up candy canes and mint extract to make peppermint-chocolate bark for my teachers and friends. Can we have a Martha point for that? Or does use of the microwave negate any points?

I’m with the kids – the question is: how did they TASTE??? Cause if they taste delish, they all they really need is an inch of frosting. But it is for this exact reason that you earn Martha Points and I’m in a Martha Black Hole.

But how did they taste? Cause isn’t that what’s really important? I had a baking fail like this when I was about ten and decided to make a very complex chocolate mud cake I found in a recipe book for Thanksgiving. It was gelatinous and horrible and went untouched at the family dinner. I never got over it and have barely baked since.