Men are like...Department stores. Their clothes should always be half off. -Unknown

Men are like...Government Bonds. They take so long to mature. -Unknown

Men are like...High Heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. -Unknown

Men are like...Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. -Unknown

Men are like...Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright. -Unknown

Men are like...Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. -Unknown

Men are like...Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. -Unknown

Men are like...Mini Skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs. -Unknown

Men are like...Parking Spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are too small. -Unknown

Men are like...Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. -Unknown

Men are like...Plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom. -Unknown

Men are like...Vacations. They never seem to be long enough. -Unknown

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control. -Diana Jordan

Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. -Roseanne Barr

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier. -H. L. Mencken

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with. -Woody Allen

Men like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest. -John Paul Richter

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. -Jerry Seinfeld

Men, like peaches and pears, grow sweet a little while before they begin to decay. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Most men are like plants: they possess properties which chance discovers. -Saint-Real

Never letting the competition define you. Instead, you have to define yourself based on a point of view you care deeply about. -Tom Chappel

No nice men are good at getting taxis. -Katherine Whitehorn

On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars. -Bruce Willis

Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. -Katharine Hepburn

So skinny he looked as though, if you shook him, his bones would sound like one of those Javanese musicians who play on coconut shells. -Leslie Hanscomb

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours. -Benjamin Disraeli

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence. -Art Linkletter

The majority of men are like animals - they take fright and are reassured by trifles. -Balzac

The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. -Unknown

Try not to be a man of success, but rather to be a man of value. -Albert Einstein

We have guided missiles and misguided men. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! -William Shakespeare Hamlet

When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn't her youth he is seeking but his own. -Lenore Coffee

Wise men, like wine, are best when old; pretty women, like bread, are best when young. -Sam Slick

Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives. -Mignon McLaughlin

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. -James Shubert