Social Question

Why do some people feel the need to be "cutesy"?

This seems to be a more and more prevalent problem these days. Whether it’s due to internet memes, a person’s own sad life or whatever – why do some people want to use speech reminiscent of “I Can Haz Cheezeburger” or whatever? Or be overly gushy with people – even someone they’ve never met in real life?

Are they just sad and lonely, and need a way to connect? Do they think being cutesy will make people overlook their lack of confidence or make up for other shortcomings in their life? Is it just that Daddy didn’t give enough hugs?

It tends to be especially popular with young, emo-ish girls. Does this cutesy trend spike from the music they listen to, to a certain extent, or the pop culture they delve into? Are they under the impression that life is cupcakes and puppy dogs and by speaking in such a manner, being “huggy” and whatnot, everything will be a fairy tale?

Where is this trend coming from, and, more importantly, when is it going away?

Lmfao….I blame anime and geeky internet culture too, it probably came from those ‘lolcats’ or something. This stuff seemingly appeears out of nowhere and just becomes funny, kind of like pedobear….....

@eponymoushipster – I agree, it is annoying. And I’m ready for it to stop. Sadly, this type of cutesy nonsense has been around forever and it’s not going away. I remember it clearly from junior high, high school and college. It was annoying then, it’s annoying now. IMHO, of course.

I think you just see it more because of websites like Facebook and MySpace. People can post rainbows, smile faces, hearts, fairies, blah blah blah to other peoples’ profiles. What cracks me up are the people who think, “Oh, I’m so special to this person I don’t even know in real life because he/she sent me a heart fairy rainbow puppy!”

I think it is a compensation.
Normally you can attach your emotions to what you say – through intonation on the phone – body language and intonation in person.
They feel the need to make a more emotional communication, and implement things that had a similar effect on them. But, it didn’t have that effect on you because you have a different pre-conception of written expression etc.

Why not? Just because you don’t find it cute, doesn’t mean it isn’t.
Also “Whether it’s due to internet memes, a person’s own sad life or whatever” really? Sad life? I talk like that and I sure as hell don’t have a sad life.
Why do I do it? Because it’s cute. If you don’t like it, ignore it. :)

I think that people do it because they are insecure about their confidence and assertion. Being “cutesy” allows you to get what you want through people feeling sorry for you. I find it very annoying and do actually feel sorry for them when they speak like this.

This seems to be a more and more prevalent problem these days. Whether it’s due to internet memes, a person’s own sad life or whatever – why do some people want to use speech reminiscent of “I Can Haz Cheezeburger” or whatever? Or be overly gushy with people – even someone they’ve never met in real life?

Language, for me, is a domain where I don’t particularly like “cutseiness” So “I Can Haz Cheezeburger” really does nothing for me. But that’s just a matter of style.

As for being “gushy” with people you’ve never met in real life—this is something I’ve had some trouble with. Despite my heavy use of the computer, I do have some wariness for non-face-to-face communication. But one thing, probably the most important thing, that Fluther has taught me, is that the medium doesn’t matter all that much. That is: while communication is much easier and fuller when done in person, all interpersonal communication has the same ultimate effect.

I don’t think “gushiness”, over any medium, is a bad thing in itself. It’s only when the total sum of communication is made up of gushiness, when there’s no substance underneath it, that it is problematic.

“Are they just sad and lonely, and need a way to connect? Do they think being cutesy will make people overlook their lack of confidence or make up for other shortcomings in their life? Is it just that Daddy didn’t give enough hugs?”

I think it’s quite the opposite, really. Sad and lonely is the person who has some kind of a problem with beautiful things, or with people who love beautiful things. If you get something out of ignoring the part of your humanity that is drawn to beauty, or if you don’t have one, or if you think that that it is a “problem” of our culture that rabbits are adorable, all I can really say is: I’m sorry. Because you’re missing out.

Yes, perhaps our culture has overdone it. Perhaps the interwebs are too full of rainbows and unicorns. Repetition will make you sick of anything. You can only see so many “lol cats” (in my innocence, an innocence I’ve tried very hard to maintain, I’ve never actually come to know exactly what an “lol cat” is. Cultural virginity is an impossible goal, however, so despite my efforts I think I have a rather clear picture, if not a complete knowledge, of the cultural phenomenon the term refers to,) without getting sick of them.

A wise man once said “Everyone needs to get a cat.” I think this is the truest thing I’ve heard all week. Perhaps I’d modify it to say everyone needs to get a rabbit. (Again, just a matter of style.)

I myself may be a bit sick of seeing reproductions of beautiful, heart warming things on the internet. But that doesn’t devalue the essence of beauty. That doesn’t cheapen the loveliness of a sunset; that doesn’t constitute a “problem” in my book.

I don’t mind an “lol” or an “omg” when it’s in context, like when someone actually makes a joke. Other times I feel like it just makes you look stupid. Especially when it seems like all they do is the same mindless banter over and over. It’s probably partly memes, it’s probably partly attention seeking… it’s all ridiculous. It’s the worst when it turns into a conversation on a thread (or something similar). That’s what phones, text messages, AIM, or Skype is for.

@petethepothead“It’s only when the total sum of communication is made up of gushiness, when there’s no substance underneath it, that it is problematic.” Amen.

“or if you think that that it is a “problem” of our culture that rabbits are adorable, all I can really say is: I’m sorry. Because you’re missing out.” I think there is a difference between “Wow, that may be the most beautiful rabbit I’ve seen” and “OMGGGG!!! Rabbitrabbitbunnyrabbitbunny. Fuzzyfuzzy. I can haz rabbit?!?!??!??!!?? LOLLLL!!!!!!!” Agree?

It is a silly willy twend that dwives me cwazy. I spoke to my babies in a sing-songy voice, but I tried really hard not to use phrases like go boom boom or boo boo. It makes me nuts when asshats, online or in real life insist on communicating in this manner. I think most of the folks who use it do so because they think it is well, cute, and maybe even endearing. To me it is just grating.

No one’s going to take up my offer? This confirms my theory that nobody actually thoroughly read petethepothead’s answer before giving it a great answer. Sorry to be so anal about it. But I’m like that quite often.

I think Petethepothead and Allie said similar things. The one similar thing being that the act of being cutesy was less of an issue than the perceived offense of cutesy. It’s just a means that people add emphasis to a statement or attempt to connect. And certainly maybe used to excess by the young and less jaded among us. It makes me feel a little connection with someone at times. Other times it’s just silly. I think some people are much more emotionally driven and some more mental and some just want to add a little human element to their words. In the pursuit of proper netiquette though an emoticon is still best to avoid misunderstanding. And killing each other with marshmallows and hearts is certainly better than the alternative.

With all the gloominess prevalent in people these days, we need all the happiness we can get. In my mind it’s never going to be a bad thing.

Amen to this quote of @petethepothead: “I think it’s quite the opposite, really. Sad and lonely is the person who has some kind of a problem with beautiful things, or with people who love beautiful things. If you get something out of ignoring the part of your humanity that is drawn to beauty, or if you don’t have one, or if you think that that it is a “problem” of our culture that rabbits are adorable, all I can really say is: I’m sorry. Because you’re missing out.” GA and I couldn’t agree more.

As a fan of bubblegum dance, cute Japanese music, anime, and cats, “cute” is a big part of what is pleasing to me. Especially when I am dating a boy who is insanely cute.

to be clear, as @Allie pointed out, i don’t have a problem with “beautiful things”. i have a problem with people who put on an act of ultra-cutesines, either for show or to compensate for some other issue.

the “wubby dubby” crap does not equal a “beautiful thing”.

as eloquent as @petethepothead was, his understanding of my point was incorrect. Like @Allie said, there’s a difference between “That is a beautiful flower” and “O hai flwr, i give you mah luv cuz u cuteh. <3 <3”. that’s bullshit.

I guess I don’t see much of the latter, not to mention that can only really exist on the internet (or in text messages) and typing isn’t necessarily a reflection of how someone acts in person. To me, that last sentence is just bizarre and wouldn’t be all that appealing to me. I like cute, but not to the point of just being plain weird.

This is certainly nothing new. As a child of the 80s, I can tell you that being a “Valley Girl” was all about the cute. When I was a teenager… other teenagers had no issue with “Valley speak”, but my grandmother sure did. As far as she knew, though, it was just me talking like that. I think what is new is that people of all ages are in much more frequent communication with one another now. So, people of all ages are much more exposed to communication of all styles. Not necessarily a bad thing, I think.

It annoys the hell outta me too. Of course people can do whatever they want, doesn’t make em any lesser of human beings, but it’s almost sickening haha. I hate it when people finish all their words in ee’s sounds, like owies and I hate it when they say things like Me gotta go beddie bies! I’m like stfu lol.

But eh to each his own, I don’t know why they do it cuz I usually avoid those online people like the plague. Even if they’re actually cool and intelligent I don’t care, I can’t stand all those anime freaks who masturbate over pictures of flying cats and then tell me I have no life because I only get out of my basement to get drunk or study dead people.

And yeah lolcatz. I love cats, but those are getting out of hand. It’s not the material that’s so bad, rather than the fans who make me sick, like as if there wasn’t anything else to do online but laugh and oogle at pictures of cats with text added to the pictures that are worthy of a mentally retarded person’s speech.

But yeah, we need variety in this world, and people have the right to act or do what they want, but in that repsect, I have the right to be a biased Nazi and say that they suck and should learn to type like normal people and I’m also tired of them getting mad at me if I don’t use the Japanese words for cute and nightmare when I happen to be unfortunate enough to find myself in a discussion with them.

I try to ignore ‘cutesy’ speak as much as possible. If it happens to be a person I contact regularly, I try to make a point to type everything out fully and punctuate correctly in hopes that the other person will follow my lead. I have no idea why this became an acceptable form of writing. It takes me 20 minutes to decipher those texts (if I don’t give up first).

When I see it online (and in abundance), sure, it can be irritating. I think of my cousin’s 13 year old and her text (computer) speak. It can cause an eye twitch or two. But, like Auggie said, back in the day, our folks and people a bit older, perhaps, found the way that we talked to be “annoying”.

@augustlan as a child of the 80’s who grew up just over the hill from the San Fernando Valley, all I have to say is that response is totally wrong! I never thought of “Valley Speak” as being about the cute, it was so for sure totally 100% about the bitchin – still is if you ask me.

Wow, I actually took the time to read through this entire thread. I would love to take a giant crap on this, really. First off who the hell cares? Secondly, are you really going to concern yourself to the point of debate with something that you consider about as cool as swine flu? It’s the internet, feel free to move on if it annoys you. I also read that some of you have “friends” that talk like this? Really, where are those people? The whole “haz,” and “nomnomnom” thing spawns from comedy. It is not built out of insecure dialect or the need to feel like one fits in better, yes…If you take it seriously then you are a moron. As for the GA’s above that speak of glitter, rainbow, facespace stickers and various bits of ugly, those bare no more meaning than a simple “hi.” I’ll agree they are ugly but look at the world around you, most people have really bad taste. Get used to it and stop bitching about it. It makes you sound like the grumpy old neighbor that won’t let you get the frisbee if it happens to fly in to the yard. There is a ton of annoying shit out there, from Ed Hardy to spray tans in January to men wearing tight ass girls jeans but the internet and text speak??? That’s like opening a magazine you don’t like everyday and then bitching about it, as if you are forced in to being annoyed. Move on please, leave some of the “cute, somewhat” funny shit alone.

@SeventhSense brings up an excellent point: “In the pursuit of proper netiquette though an emoticon is still best to avoid misunderstanding.”

Language is “a particular kind of system for encoding and decoding information” (Source.) In other words, language is a way of encoding thoughts so that they can be transfered to another person, a process which is necessarily an imperfect one. For language to be effective, there needs to be a shared vocabulary with meanings that anyone can interpret.

But the overwhelming majority of human communication is non-verbal. The internet is a fairly new medium, that often relies on words only.

It almost pains me to write “lol” at times, but I don’t always have a choice. If I were with someone in real life a simple facial gesture might be all the feedback I’d provide. But silence isn’t usually an acceptable response when your sole means of interaction is through text on a screen. You are forced to say something.

Since so much of communication is non-verbal, there are things you can say in real life, that, while accompanied with certain body movements, clearly convey the intended message. The same things, when they appear as text on a screen, may easily be misinterpreted by the receiver.

Some of the “cutsey” phrases are really just useful, if limited, adaptations of our language that help solve the problems of non-face-to-face interaction. While “lol” is hardly an eloquent way of expressing yourself, it does have the benefit of having a standard meaning that most people can correctly interpret. If someone were to say “That was very funny,” it might well be misinterpreted as being sarcastic, even if the sender didn’t mean it to be.

I agree with @judochop
why are you even concerning yourself with what teenage girls pass for conversation – there are bigger issues out there and bigger annoyances…I think that this has to do with how young girls feel they’re allowed to talk – not to make bold statements or express their opinions but to put everything down in a ‘cutesey’ way so that they’re accepted – does that really seem that foreign to you?

Because creating an ingroup lexicon can strengthen relationship bonds. I suspect this happens online somewhat more often than in real life as a reflection of the lack of other ways to strengthen these bonds—it’s hard to go out drinking or see a movie or even eat dinner with your online friends, but you can create a shared speech.

It’s a well known phenomenon with couples. Couples that do this, by the way, on average have longer relationships that they report as more fulfilling.

I think these people have low self confidence and are compensating for their lack of a personality. They probably think that these qualities make them adorable and more likeable. It usually makes them just look like they do not have one original thought in their head though. I find these people are usually also the ones that act stupid in front of boys, why they do it is a mystery to me.