(click ad, via) While I do appreciate the complete lack of a product shot in this VW Touran ad via DDB Stockholm, Sweden, I do not appreciate anything else about it. There're—I'd estimate—about a kabillion other better ways to visualize "roomy." Come on ad people, this is Volkswagen. Lemon? The guy who drives the snowplow? This great 1969 ad?Previously in VW ads I have not liked at all:
• Creepy (via Italy).
• Sexist (via Lebanon).
• Hackneyed (via Spain)
• Racist (via South Africa).

(click ad) This week's race-related "overreaction" comes via—not copyranter—but the angriest supermodel to ever hurl a Blackberry. Said Campbell: "I am shocked. It's upsetting to be described as chocolate, not just for me, but for all black women and black people." Cadbury, however, has refused to pull the ad and Campbell said she is considering "every option available." C'mon Nay-Nay: I bet your Russian billionaire boyfriend, in a blissful postcoital moment, has called you "dreamy chocolate truffle" (in Russian) before. Anyway, Cadbury could have meant Watts, Klein, or Judd, right? Note: are those blood diamonds? Thanks for the tip, John. Related: Naomi tortures/comforts Russian mobster in Interview photoshoot (nsfw).

(click ad, via) Millward Brown is a worldwide marketing research company based in New York City. They're big on charts. Really big. This ad was produced for their Brazilian office by Y&R, Brazil. Not sure where all it's running; probably not in Israel. From the agency press note:
"Any theme, even the toughest to deal with or to understand, can be translated and explained through a graph. This is the concept that drives the new campaign created for the Millward Brown Brazil ad hoc research institute."
President Obama could've used a big blow up of this ad for his State Department speech last week.Previously: Israeli cell phone company solves West Bank crisis with a soccer ball.

(click images) From the designer's website:
"OSTRICH offers a micro environment in which to take a warm and comfortable power nap at ease. It is neither a pillow nor a cushion, nor a bed, nor a garment, but a bit of each at the same time. Its soothing cave-like interior shelters and isolates our head and hands (mind, senses and body) for a few minutes, without needing to leave our desk."
There is apparently no irony here and sorry, it's not for resale.
(via several places on the Internet).Previously in Questionable Product of the Week:
• Fetus soap.
• Stress-reducing dog food.
• The Sperm Retrieval Machine via China.
• The Tuggie—the fuzzy sock that warms your cock.

From last year, the runner-up in the Big Rock Brewery (of Calgary) "Eddies" amateur commercial contest. Sorry, but it blows (heh) away the winner. Bud and Miller dream of being this tasteless (which would match their beers). Thanks to Marc for the tip. Related: the most horribly sexist beer commercial ever made.

(click ads, via) You have to think, which is good sometimes. But maybe these make you think too much, and you're confused. The doctor one is easier to get. But the first execution is not as clear, and kinda creepy, stalkerish. The layouts look nice. Your call, expert industry readers. Ad agency: Grey, São Paulo, Brazil.Previously: Post-it® erects shameless Will & Kate billboard in London.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

(click, via) I am udderly perplexed by this visual. Is that a teats peace sign? Why not a Devil hand? What the FUCK is going on here? Ad agency: DDB, Helsinki. Previously in WHAT?!?: one • two • three.

Monday, May 23, 2011

• Nice wall art.
• PSA of the day.
• Bear in a jacuzzi.
• cute gif of the day.
• Crosby Street, NYC.
• the dullest blog in the world.
• Obama in Brazil (above), via.
• This guy is just asking for vandalism.
• Russian female bodybuilders (some nsfw).
• Marlboro places video ad in Russian Playboy.
• RIP Randy Savage, one of the best pitchmen of all time.
• Onionarticle of the week (which many right wing idiots thought was real).
• Videos of the Day: Curb Your Enthusiasm NYC trailer (yay!); and a live update from our stupid reporter in the field.

(click ad) At least, that's what one could possibly infer by the left-to-right before and after progression in this ad for Dove VisibleCare. This is so stupid, I'm thinking it's got to be a fake Photoshop ad. But it doesn't look like it. Thanks to Amelia for the tip. Previously in: Intentionally racist skin whitening ads.
update: someone else posted about this.
update #2: the ad is real.
update #3: shit-talkers, read the post. I don't say the ad is racist. I don't think the ad is racist. It's just a stupid layout.

(click ads) Look at that fancy logo—it's dressed in blue! I don't get the "A" though. No matter, next stop: design hall of fame. And of course, there's happy-faced "Candice." Tops would've distracted from the product, right Mr. pants-optional CEO? Nipples don't though, of course. Topless pants adverts are a new thing at AA, as seen in this pleated pants ad (nsfw) and this riding pants ad (nsfw).

(click images) This appears to not be a joke. An online company called Cremation Solutions (based in Arlington, Vermont) is offering head urns in any likeness you'd like. Your own. Jesus. That hot chick you didn't get to bang in high school. Even the 44th President of the United States. From their website:
"Personal Cremation Urns are the latest in custom personalized cremation urns. They are created from one or two photographs with exceptional attention to details. With advances in facial analysis and the advent of state of the art 3D imaging, these high tech urns can be made to look like anyone. The full sized personal urn can hold all the ashes of an adult. For holding just a portion of the ashes, we recommend the keepsake sized personal urns. The personal urn does not come with hair. For hair we can digitally add hair if you wish, or wigs can be used." Newt Gingrich's head could hold three adults.
Why are they using Obama as their example? Maybe they love him, maybe they want him dead. Write them and ask, if you want (thanks to Catherine for the tip).Previously in novelty Urns: Urnie Banks?Related: 2011 Coffin Cuties Necrophilia Calendar (nsfw).

(click image, via reddit) From 1997. Read more about it on Wikipedia, fifth bullet down. I can't believe nobody from Nabisco or Mattel raised their hand in a meeting and said something. Related: In 1967: Mattel introduced Negro Francie, who was just a white Barbie mold darkened. Related: The nudie Barbie Matchbox calendar.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

(click image) JESUS, he's tall. Looks like yet another Jehovah Witness Watchtower pamphlet, which are often left on subway seats. I hadn't seen this one before; it was spotted on Thursday. Hey, the J-Dubs are all about THE END IS NEAR. I guess he's trying to knock some sense into the world?
Via Joe Schumacher's flickr.

Friday, May 20, 2011

(click photo, via)...because I want my last post before The Rapture to be EPIC. They say that all dogs go to Heaven, and this little prince is perfectly dressed for it. Hope to see you Monday, still down here on Earth with the rest of the heathens. Related: two of the cutest dog ads ever (one, two).

(click image) Ho-boy, did this subway entrance poster, placed right across the street from Ground Zero, piss off some New Yorkers. As of today, it has been removed. Just to refresh your nightmares, it was United Airlines flight 175 that terrorists "landed" into the south tower of the World Trade Center, an event I watched live from Hoboken. A United Airlines spokesman said the airline was not aware of the ad's placement (via NBC New York, with video). Related: 1979 Pakistan Airlines ad shows plane flying "into" the World Trade Center.

(click ad, via) No, this is not another case of Osama deathsploitation advertising—this ad for Precision Laser tattoo removal of Toronto was produced in March. But, ha, the laser sighting on OBL's forehead was quite prophetic—what did you know, Canada? I wonder if Navy Seal Team Six used guns with laser sightings on that mission? I also wonder who, besides a very drunk frat dude, would get a Bin Laden tattoo—and then want to get it removed?
Ad agency: Maclaren McCann, Canada.

(click images) The Olympic-themed Moscow boards are actually for Gorky Gorod, a luxury housing complex near Sochi, site of the 2014 Winter Games. Some locals are none too pleased with the "neo-Hitlerite," "fascist" blond-haired blue-eyed imagery that's "like something from a Leni Riefenstahl film."
I'm sure swarthy-skinned Joseph Stalin would have been appalled. The billboards were created by Doping-Pong, a St. Petersburg design firm that uses a *ahem* Swastika as one of its online banners. Dmitry Leshchinsky, creative director of the firm, had this to say about the project:
"Any association with fascism is very unpleasant to us, and the opinions and methods of several 'critics' provoke exactly those kinds of associations. The publishing of disgusting labels and the promotion of 'pasquinades' in the media; destroying and pouring dirt on everything that stands out, even by the smallest margin, from the grey mass of advertising: that is real fascism, in my opinion."
Read the Guardianpiece for more choice quotes. Second image via Animal NY.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

FIFTIETH (link)? Fuck you, you clueless limey cunts. I had an ad column on Gawker (Lies Well Disguised) for over a year. Slate lauded me. Mediaite lauded me. npr sought out my opinion on Osama Bin Laden in ads recently. Put a blank piece of paper and an ad assignment in front of Seth Fucking Godin, and the only thing he'll come up with is drool and drivel. No, but seriously, congrats to the 49 OTHERS WHO ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME.

(click image) Oh what a crackingly brilliant move by the Brits to appeal to the immensely insecure ad creatives of the world (all of them). Not good enough to win a prestigious "Pencil"? Well, now your insulting honorable mentions are being augmented by cutesy pencil slices. Stack 'em high, never-good-enough guy! How bout you also give shavings to the losers? This is immeasurably sad (via). Related:five pathetic ad awards ads.

Female photo nerds? Sorry, you weren't invited to the "Battle at F-Stop Ridge." The video was done in-house by The Camera Store, and it looks like it— they had an idea and mostly ruined it with amateurish casting and cheap production. Next time, spend the money on people who know what they're doing. Re: the lack of women in the video—not surprising, since camera ads are often sleazilysexist.

(click image) All these army guys are as completely useless as the minesweeper for my next big bedroom battle. Hey homeless GI? Where's your weapon? At least domestic abuse Private is fighting. Suicide soldier—what is your major malfunction? Work by design collective Dorothy. Read/see more about it here—the statistics are frightening. Previously: bizarre toy soldiers used in recruitment ads by New Zealand army.

(click ads/images, via adfreak) Headline: "Allergies can attack at any time." So, both Sunflower Ghoul and Pollen Gargoyle are holding sticks? Which they will now use to—beat me to death? Tone's a bit on the heavy side maybe, Johnson & Johnson? There's also of course a creepy cat mask lady. Ad agency: JWT London.
Previously in: Creepy As Hell Ad Watch.