Ban On Long Putters Reversed, America Hangs Head In Shame

Sometimes you win the battle, but lose the war. The good guys don’t always prevail. The PGA Tour has won the pissing contest. The anchor ban will not stand. People everywhere who have long-putters and short penises, can rejoice. People with self-respect may take a moment to pause and reflect. We almost had those long-putting communist terrorist bastards by the balls. Tim Finchem, whose very name reeks of GDI, a former economic adviser and lackey to Jimmy Carter, runs the PGA Tour, or more precisely, is running the PGA Tour into the ground. That’s right, Jimmy Carter’s economic adviser brought the long-putter back from the dead.

So, “I’m a purist, I’ll never switch, and I’ll beat any geed with a long-putter any day,” you say? Not so fast. There is a clear and very illegal advantage to these monstrosities. How long before every kid in America is using one? The next generation will grow up with them and never know the joys of sinking a putt with a real putter. How long before everyone on the Tour has to adapt to compete, or even keep their Player’s Card? How long until they become so common that your house bids a guy with one without thinking twice?

The USGA is opposed to long-putters. The Royal and Ancient Golf Club is opposed to long-putters. Fraternity men everywhere are opposed to long-putters. The only people who are in favor of them are the Tour players who couldn’t find a good hook up for deer antler spray and decided this was the best way to cheat to win. Oh, and the pinko-commie-geeds from the Carter administration.

Yes they do you idiot. If you can anchor the butt of the putter, you’re taking some of the human element out of putting. Obviously it doesn’t work for everyone, because there’s a portion of personal preference in the matter, but to say it’s not an advantage is stupid.

I stand with you in opposition to belly putters; however, I think the mega-mini-golf course in China sounds pretty damn cool. Obviously its not a competitive course, but it would be fucking awesome to hit a six-iron through a windmill.

That’s fucking ridiculous. What makes me really sad is that it’s most likely the manufacturers that made it happen. The very men I rely on for quality clubs are double dealing with the PGA so all the money they poured into R&D on “lets make the handle longer” isn’t wasted. Screw you, belly putter companies. And the people that created the demand. Grow some balls and putt like a normal person.

If you can’t bend your back slightly to putt, I’d be very surprised if you could pull off swinging any club… shit, even walking 18 holes. You’d have to have a pretty fucked up back. I don’t think that’s a majority. I actually don’t think that’s anyone.

“The people that created the demand”. There are people out there that have this thing called back pain you fucktard. For the other guys… I don’t know but the only time I’ve ever seen them used while I’ve been playing is by old guys that aren’t deciding against the shorter putters for longer putters but because it actually hurts their backs.

I am not a golf aficionado and don’t pretend to be, however I see no harm in allowing long putters. It’s just merely an advance in the sport’s science just like the cork centered baseball and better gear. Just look at receiver’s gloves in football; you can literally catch a ball with two fingers with them. I’d definitely say that’s a bigger “cheat” b/c no matter how long or short the put, putting is still fucking hard as shit