Brad is afraid Angie will stab him in his sleep. Kelly Rowland has a double nip slip. Kate Gosselin lures a man with cupcakes, and fails. Jennifer Lopez wears four pairs of Spanx at once. Tuesday gossip draws shallow breaths.

Angelina Jolie is having violent nightmares about her stabbing her father and Brad Pitt is afraid she's going to sleep-murder them. "She awoke one night screaming bloody murder. Brad calmed her down… Brad's greatest fear must be that the nightmares will continue and Angie could wind up sleepwalking and unknowingly become violent with him." I once heard a story about a hunter who almost snapped his wife's neck, because he dreamed she was a deer he had just shot. (Did you know they sometimes have to do that, to kill it?) And since Angelina is a known assassin with lightning reflexes, little Bambi Pitt will not get away. Gossip Cop gives this story a 0% reality rating, but the safety of weak-necked Jolie bedmates is at stake, so let us sound the alarm. [Enquirer print edition, image via Getty]

Samantha Ronson is working on a tattoo design to cover up the one she got to match Lindsay Lohan, a heart on her left hand. In the annals of "things that remind you of your ex too much," matching tats is apparently worse than living in a carbon-copy apartment next door. [P6]

Amy Winehouse once threw a $25,000 Alexander McQueen dress on the grill during a backyard BBQ. Apparently she and McQueen had a fight, and "When he sent her a dress to say sorry she put it on the barbecue. She also spat on one of his dresses at Selfridges which she had to pay for because she had soiled it." Warm memories of better days. [Daily Mail]

Kelly Rowland had a double nip slip. I admire her commitment to symmetry. "New Jersey crowd was amazing!! hope you enjoyed the show and didnt mind the peekaboo LOL!!! #kanyeshrug#stuffhappens," she tweeted. [Us, image via WENN, click photo for NSFW version]

Jennifer Lopez wears "three—or even four—pairs of super-slimming Spanx at a time!" It is a wonder that she was even capable of carrying twin babies to term in that super-squeezed uterus. [Enquirer print edition]

Speaking of J.Lo, she and Marc Anthony "have been over for months but were keeping it secret" until after J.Lo finished Idol contract negotiations and her Vanity Fair cover was ready. "Vanity Fair closes its issue at least three months before it hits newsstands. No way could they have decided to split two weeks ago and be on the cover of a monthly magazine that fast. Something suspicious is going on for sure." [HuffPost]

The Two and a Half Men staff keeps planting items about how much they love Ashton Kutcher. (And by "staff" I mean "PR team.") They're still working out their post-traumatic stress from working with Charlie Sheen, you see. [Us]

Kate Gosselin was hanging out at a cupcake store, and saw a hottie walk by, so she sent her bodyguard to chase the guy down and give the hottie a cupcake in an effort to woo him. But he had a gluten allergy, so it was a love that could not be. In other news, Kate looked kind of hot at yesterday's Today show appearance, no? And she's ready to date and marry again. "Now all she's gotta do is find a dude who's willing to be a stepfather to eight kids." You'll have to be aggressive, Kate. Two cupcakes, next time. [Buzz, INFDaily, image via INF]

Three kids, a failed marriage, and an accidental baby later, Ryan Phillippe has become "girl-shy." [P6]

Though I am opposed to the Teen Mom-as-celebrity phenomenon, I feel obligated to note that Jenelle Evans was arrested for a drug-related probation violation last night. [Radar]

LeAnn Rimes is "trying" a tattoo of her wedding vows. It's removable, just like Eddie Cibrian's ex-wife was. ZING. [People]