I have this thing every few weeks when I brew myself some redbull-coffee-crushed skittles concoction, sit myself at the computer, crack some knuckles, buckle my seatbelt (yes I have a seatbelt, it’s called duvet) and delve into the internet, determined I’d finally catch up on all the unread blogposts and saved bookmarks. Umpteen hours later I’d emerge with two PS11 worthy bags under my eyes and mystery gas emitting out of my ears, decidedly ‘cleverer’, after catching up on every single streetstyle blog in the universe, five or ten Michelle Phan wisdom tutorials, a whole gaggle of recipes where the only ingredient familiar is ‘salt’, and well, basically the entire internet. Sometimes I’d hit something like this and know I’ve come too deep. But lately, thanks to the previously advertised calamity known as eczema (aka f*kingbastard), I’ve been on house-arrest and therefore have been forced to take ORDINARY doses of said internet. And I don’t know what to do with myself, because you bloggers don’t post enough (!!!), my ‘friends & family’ don’t share enough on Facebook, and that Natalie Tran seems to have gotten a life? I refresh Bloglovin’, Youtube, Facebook every five minutes and confess to have screamed WELL IT’S ABOUT TIME at new updates. Sometimes when I feel extra desperate I read comments under some mega-instagrammer’s account and feel bad for all the stupid people in this world. Problem with this is, being under certain physical discomfort, doing anything productive (i.e emails & posts) is difficult, but balancing a bowl of popcorn on my chest while parkouring all over the internet is a piece of banana cake… apologies once again if you’ve sent an email and I’ve been quite an asshole about not replying it. Anyhoo, here’s my three ways to wear a Uniqlo white denim jacket, still sadly inappropriate for this weather.

Hello, what’s up? My dog ate my keyboard. Once again I got an overwhelmingly positive response for a post and this time I just had to take a step back and bask in that momentary bliss, shedding the occasional hot tear that would fall in the wine glass that I’d drink from while bobbing my head to Alanis Morissette. (Fact: it is actually impossible to bob head to AM) Recycle-chic, you saw it here first. Let’s get back with the program, shall we – and what better way than to let trusty old Uniqlooks to press the resume button! Over to you, dotty blouse. Wish I could fake it and pretend this was shot relatively recently but snow in London – the kind that stays white below the ankles – is so rare that we all know these looks were shot that particular day over a week ago. Not sure which day it was, but I’m pretty sure it’s the one where lots of babies will be born exactly nine months down the line because heck I’ve never seen a city that doesn’t actually clean the snow. Hands up if you live in London and own a snow shovel? Of course, yours truly is out in the streets with the hubby only getting as intimate as getting a snowball in the face. Oh the things I write in this blog to keep it PG-13… (apparently thirteen-year-olds are the key to blogging success, hey)

Let me just answer that tickling question – did I peel off my striped-top and give it to Carrie while she waited topless on my bed? No. Not in that order anyway. I mean, no. We just happened to bring one top and they both happened to be striped – but picture us walking around Milan looking like girls who ran away from mime-school; amusing is one way to put it.

Anyhow. It always feels wonderful to be back in Milan, the intensity and… ubiquity of sunlight is really something here. Whenever someone tells me how a country’s climate make all the difference in a person’s temperament, I like to wave my cynicism stick at them (shaped like a frantically-purchased, over-priced corner-store umbrella, naturally), but in Milan I always stand corrected. I stood, in fact (but no miming, I swear), in awe of the well-dressed, well-groomed men and women, while happily soaking in the beauty of the sun-kissed city. It wasn’t necessarily hot or anything, but I loved the fact that light was so abundant until one moment around 9pm you look up to realise the sun has just quietly melted away. Whereas in London the sun is really just a matter of abruptly switching it ON or OFF – at 7pm the sun goes OFF; in October, the sun goes OFF. Sometimes it does disco-hour and does ON-OFF-ON-OFF for half the day, like how we all played with the light-switch when we were seven or eight. I tell you, if I find that kid who’s behind this perverted weather I will put it in a box and send it to Korea.

recap is synchronizing with my release-the-Kraken time of the month? Like clockwork! I hate you! I love you. Nowadays this seems to be the only thing that helps keep track of time… this and an evil pile of bills that clog up the mailbox but never-mind that because I don’t believe they exist, realllllllly, it’s just a fantasy. (Hubby says he’s got it, such a man) Anyhow, just a quick one for today – the classic striped top that just about goes with anything, done up in three ways. Mind, I might’ve butchered the fail-safe classic with the parachute-dress, but right now that floats my hormonal boat so please let’s just call it an outfit.

Rumour has it that in my absence I’ve acquired a job as a professional bricklayer in a dusty little corner in Brazil; married my highschool sweetheart and spread honey on the moon in a windy island in Greece; had a few kids – mostly twins and triplets; shaved my head and attacked the tripod with an umbrella. Partially true, especially the twins and triplets bit – took two visits to IKEA to get shelves for them to sleep on. Again, I won’t apologize for ‘not blogging’, it’s pretty clear you didn’t continuously peck on the F5 (refresh) key every day of the past 2 weeks… although this has been the longest I’ve gone without putting anything up. Who knew the momentum of not-blogging is as powerful as blogging non-stop? The ball started rolling and I just couldn’t stop – not this ‘blog’ ball, the ‘life’ ball. I have many balls, apparently. Admittedly there have been big changes to my life as of late, but congratulate me? I’ve finally got something that somewhat resembles a life! Hope you don’t mind if I share a few in the next few posts, but one thing at a time – starting with how I lost 10kg…