Michelle Obama, “The Biggest Loser,” and the Politician I Really Want to See on the Show

March 30, 2012

It takes confidence for a politician to go on a show called "The Biggest Loser" right before a major election. Confidence... or a lack of foresight. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Weight loss is a lot like writing. Both take commitment to be successful. Both require lots of frustrating work, and on some days it seems like you have nothing to show for that hard work. The next few paragraphs might make it seem like I don’t respect the weight loss process, but I do, just as much as I respect the writing process (most of the time).

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When “The Biggest Loser” first came on a few years ago, nobody thought the television show would last long. It had a tacky name (I know because when I laughed at it, people said I was tacky for laughing at it), a tacky concept, and no stars except for an actress formerly from “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.”

I guess the public was so desperate for anything “weight loss” that eventually the tacky became acceptable. Now First Lady Michelle Obama is inviting the contestants of “The Biggest Loser” to the White House for a reunion with family members and a White House workout.

What the trainers and contestants don’t realize is that the White House workout is a round of golf.

I have nothing against Michelle Obama, and I appreciate a first lady who tries to do something about obesity in the United States. My problem is that this particular episode will have no entertainment value. The contestants will be in awe of Michelle Obama and smile awkwardly. Michelle Obama will be charming. It will be a highly promoted very special episode, but everybody knows “very special episodes” suck.

If “The Biggest Loser” wants a politician and get huge ratings, they need to get New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on the show.

No, I’m not going to make a bunch of “Chris Christie fat jokes” because all the good ones have already been done that’s not the main reason I want him on the show. I want Chris Christie on “The Biggest Loser” for the entertainment value.

Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie: I don't know what he's talking about, but I'm pretty sure he's about to argue with somebody. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Governor Chris Christie loves to argue. Videos of Chris Christie arguing are way more entertaining than any episode of “The Biggest Loser” will ever be (except for any episode with Governor Chris Christie). I want to see Chris Christie argue with Jillian during a workout. I want Chris Christie to argue with other contestants during their workouts. I want Chris Christie to argue at the weigh-ins. I want Chris Christie to argue at the vote-offs. This “very special episode” of “The Biggest Loser” would probably be… THE BEST VERY SPECIAL EPISODE EVER!!!