10 signs that you are most definitely a cyclist

-1-

You look at the bike before the cyclist… After all, the groupset choice tells you all you need to know about a person, right?

-2-

You would never even consider wearing underwear with your bib shorts and, frankly, can’t understand why anyone would even think that was weird.

-3-

Slapping on a handful of chamois cream pre-ride is second nature and not remotely gross. Until a non-cyclist points out that it’s a pretty disgusting thing to do.

-4-

Your tan lines are a badge of honour and you don’t feel a jot of embarrassment at having a torso, half thighs and biceps which are a markedly different colour from the rest of your body.

-5-

When a non-cyclist suggests you keep your bikes in the shed, and you look at them as though they’ve suggested that you throw your children out on the street.

-6-

The only time your neighbours see you is returning from a weekend ride, sweaty and Lycra-clad. You’re not sure they’d recognise you in your ‘normal’ clothes with a head of tidy hair and no helmet.

You have a sneaking suspicion that they think you are much fitter than you really are.

-7-

You think nothing of getting up at 6am for a ride because the sun’s out, and a ride on a bright morning before the traffic builds up is worth so much more than a lie in…

-8-

Your colleagues no longer ask how you what you did at the weekend: they already know what you were doing (and don’t really care about your new route/favourite cafe stop/how your new bar tape performed)

-9-

Your regular socks cost £10 for 5 pairs, and that’s plenty, thank you. However, you don’t bat an eyelid at blowing £15 on a single pair of cycling socks in just the right shade to match your bidon and cap…

-10-

When you drive up hills, you find yourself feeling cheated out of a climb. And when you drive down hills…. you feel even more cheated, and ponder just how fast you could descend on your bike…