THE TAO OF PROGRAMMING
------------------------
BOOK ONE: The Silent Void
Thus spake the master programmer:
"When you have learned to snatch the error code from the trap frame,
it will be time for you to leave."
1.1:
Something mysterious is formed, born in the silent void. Waiting
alone and unmoving, it is at once still and yet in constant motion.
It is the source of all programs. I do not know its name, so I will
call it the Tao of Programming.
If the Tao is great, then the operating system is great. If the
operating system is great, then the compiler is great. If the
compiler is great, then the application is great. The user is
pleased and there is harmony in the world.
The Tao of Programming flows far away and returns on the wind of
morning.
-----
1.2:
The Tao gave birth to machine language. Machine language gave birth
to the assembler.
The assembler gave birth to the compiler. Now there are ten
thousand languages.
Each language has its purpose, however humble. Each language
expresses the yin and yang of software. Each language has its place
within the Tao.
But do not program in Colbol if you can avoid it.
-----
1.3:
In the beginning was the Tao. The Tao gave birth to Space and Time.
Therefore Space and Time are the Yin and Yang of Programming.
Programmers that do not comprehend Tao are always running out of
time and space for their programs. Programmers that comprehend Tao
always have enough time and space to accomplish their goals.
How could it be otherwise?
-----
1.4:
The wise programmer is told about Tao and follows it. The average
programmer is told about Tao and searches for it. The foolish
programmer is told about Tao and laughs at it.
If it were not for the laughter, there would be no Tao.
The highest sounds are hardest to hear. Going forward is a way to
retreat. Great talent shows itself late in life. Even a perfect
program still has bugs.
The Tao is hidden beyond all understand.
BOOK TWO: The Ancient Masters
Thus spake the master programmer:
"After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless."
2.1:
The programmers of old were mysterious and profound. We cannot
fathom their thoughts, so all we can do is describe their
appearance.
Aware, like a fox crossing the water. Alert, like a general on the
battlefield. Kind, like a hostess greeting her guests. Simple,
like uncarved blocks of wood. Opaque, like black pools in darkened
caves.
Who can tell the secrets of their hearts and minds?
The answer exists only in Tao.
-----
2.2:
Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine. When he
awoke he exclaimed:
"I don't know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine, or a
machine dreaming that I am Turing!"
-----
2.3:
A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software
conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying:
"What sort of programmers work for other computer companies? They
behaved badly and were unconcerned with appearances. Their hair was
long and unkempt and their clothes were wrinkled and old. They
crashed our hospitality suite and they made rude noises during my
presentation."
The manager said: "I should never have sent you to the conference.
Those programmers live beyond the physical world. They consider
life absurd, an accidental coincidence. They come and go without
knowing limitations. Without a care, they live only for their
programs. Why should they bother with social conventions?
They are alive within the Tao."
-----
2.4:
A novice asked the master: "Here is a programmer who never designs,
documents, or tests his programs. Yet all who know him consider him
the one of the best programmers in the world. Why is this?"
The master replied: "That programmer has mastered the Tao. He has
gone beyond the need for design; he does not become angry when the
system crashes, but accepts the universe without concern. He has
gone beyond the need for documentation; he no longer cares if anyone
sees his code. He has gone beyond the need for testing; each of his
programs are perfect within themselves, serene and elegant, their
purpose self-evident.
"Truly, he has entered the mystery of Tao."
BOOK THREE: Design
Thus spake the master programmer:
"When the program is being tested, it is too late to make design
changes."
3.1:
There was once a man who went to a computer trade show. Each day as
he entered, the man told the guard at the door:
"I am a great thief, renowned for my feats of shoplifting. Be
forewarned, for this trade show shall not escape unplundered."
This speech disturbed the guard greatly, because there were millions
of dollars of computer equipment inside, so he watched the man
carefully. But the man merely wandered from booth to booth, humming
quietly to himself.
When the man left, the guard took him aside and searched his
clothes, but nothing was to be found.
On the next day of the trade show, the man returned and chided the
guard, saying: "I escaped with a vast booty yesterday, but today
will be even better." So the guard watched him ever more closely,,
but to no avail.
On the final day of the trade show, the guard could restrain his
curiosity no longer. "Sir Thief," he said, "I am so perplexed, I
cannot live in peace. Please enlighten me. What is it that you are
stealing?"
The man smiled. "I am stealing ideas," he said.
-----
3.2:
There was once a master programmer who wrote unstructured programs.
A novice programmer, seeking to imitate him, also began to write
unstructured programs. When the novice asked the master to evaluate
his progress, the master criticized him for writing unstructured
programs, saying: "What is appropriate for the master is not
appropriate for the novice. You must understand Tao before
transcending structure."
-----
3.3:
There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the
warlord of Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier
to design: an accounting package or an operating system?"
"An operating system," replied the programmer.
The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief.
"Surely an accounting package is trivial next to the complexity of
an operating system," he said.
"Not so," said the programmer, "when designing an accounting
package, the programmer operates as a mediator between people having
different ideas: how it must operate, how its reports must appear,
and how it must conform to tax laws.
"By contrast, an operating system is not limited by outward
appearances. When designing an operating system, the programmer
seeks the simplest harmony between machine and ideas. This is why
an operating system is easier to design."
The warlord of Wu nodded and smiled. "That is all good and well,"
he said, "but which is easier to debug?"
The programmer made no reply.
-----
3.4:
A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the
requirements document for a new application. The manager asked the
master: "How long will it take to design this system if I assign
five programmers to it?"
"It will take one year," said the master promptly.
"But we need this system immediately or even sooner! How long will
it take if I assign ten programmers to it?"
The master programmer frowned. "In that case, it will take two
years."
"And if I assign a hundred programmers to it?"
The master programmer shrugged. "Then the design will never be
completed," he said.
BOOK FOUR: Coding
Thus spake the master programmer:
"A well-written program is its own heaven; a poorly-written
program is its own hell."
4.1:
A program should be agile, its subroutines connected like a string
of pearls. The spirit and intent of the program should be retained
throughout. there should be neither too little nor too much,
neither needless loops nor useless variables, neither lack of
structure nor overwhelmingly rigidity.
A program should follow the "Law of Least Astonishment". What is
this law?
It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in
the way that astonishes him least.
A program, no matter how complex, should act as a single unit. The
program should be directed by the logic within rather than by
outward appearances.
If the program fails in these requirements, it will be in a state of
disorder and confusion. The only way to correct this is to rewrite
the program.
-----
4.2:
A novice asked the master: "I have a program that sometimes runs
and sometimes aborts. I have followed the rules or programming, yet
I am totally baffled. What is the reason for this?"
The master replied: "You are confused because you do not understand
Tao. Only a fool expects rational behavior from his fellow humans.
Why do you expect it from a machine that humans have constructed?
Computers simulate determinism; only Tao is perfect.
The rules of programming are tranistory; only Tao is eternal.
Therefore you much contemplate Tao before you receive
enlightenment."
"But how will I know when I have received enlightenment?" asked the
novice.
"Your programs will then run correctly," replied the master.
-----
4.3:
A master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices. "The
Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant,"
said the master.
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" continued the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the master.
"And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?"
The master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson
is over for today," he said.
-----
4.4:
Prince Wang's programmer was coding software. His fingers danced
upon the keyboard. The program compiled without an error message,
and the program ran like a gentle wind.
"Excellent!" the Prince exclaimed, "Your technique is faultless!"
"Technique?" said the programmer turning from his terminal, "What I
follow is Tao -- beyond all techniques! When I first began to
program I would see before me the whole problem all in one mass.
After three years I no longer saw this mass. Instead, I used
subroutines. But now, I see nothing. My whole being exists in a
formless void. My senses are idle.
My spirit, free to work without plan, follow its own instincts. In
short, my program writes itself. True, sometimes there are
difficult problems. I see them coming, I slow down, I watch
silently. Then I change a single line of code and the difficulties
vanish like puffs of idle smoke. I then compile the program. I sit
still and let the joy of the work fill my being. I close my eyes
for a moment and then log off."
Prince Wong said, "Would that all my programmers were as wise!"
BOOK FIVE: Maintenance
Thus spake the master programmer:
"Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will
have to be maintained."
5.1:
A well-used door needs no oil on its hinges.
A swift-flowing stream does not grow stagnant.
Neither sound nor thoughts can travel through a vacuum.
Software rots if not used.
These are great mysteries.
-----
5.2:
A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish
the program on which he was working.
"I will be finished by tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied.
"I think that you are being unrealistic," said the manager,
"Truthfully, how long will it take?"
The programmer thought for a moment. "I have some features that I
wish to add. This will take at least two weeks," he finally said.
"Even that is too much to expect," insisted the manager, "I will be
satisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete."
The programmer agreed to this.
Several years later, the manager retired. On the way to his
retirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asleep at his
terminal. He had been programming all night.
-----
5.3:
A novice programmer was once assigned to code a simple financial
package.
The novice worked furiously for many days, but when his master
reviewed the program, he discoered that it contained a screen
editor, a set of generalized graphics routines, an artificial
intelligence interface, but no the slightest mention of anything
financial."
When the master asked about this, the novice became indignant.
"Don't be so impatient," he said," I'll put in the financial stuff
eventually."
-----
5.4:
Does a good farmer neglect a crop he has planted?
Does a good teacher overlook even the most humble student?
Does a good father allow a single child to starve?
Does a good programmer refuse to maintain his code?
BOOK SIX: Management
Thus spake the master programmer:
"Let the programmers be many and the managers be few --
then all will be productive."
6.1:
When managers hold endless meetings, the programmers write games.
When accountants talk of quarterly profits, the development budget
is about to be cut. When senior scientists talk blue sky, the
clouds are about to roll in.
Truly, this is not the Tao of Programming.
When managers make commitments, game programs are ignored. When
accountants make long-range plans, harmony and order are about to be
restored. When senior scientists address the problem at hand, then
the problems will soon be solved.
Truly, this is the Tao of Programming.
-----
6.2:
Why are the programmers nonproductive?
Because their time is wasted in meetings.
Why are the programmers rebellious?
Because the management interferes too much.
Why are the programmers resigning one by one?
Because they are burnt out.
Having worked for poor management, they no longer value their jobs.
-----
6.3:
A manager was about to be fired, but one of the programmers who
worked for him invented a new program that became popular and sold
well. As a result of this, the manager retained his job.
The manager tried to give the programmer a bonus, but the programmer
refused it, saying, "I wrote the program because I thought it was an
interesting concept, and thus I expect no reward."
The manager upon hearing this remarked, "This programmer, though he
holds a position of small esteem, understands well the proper duty
of an employee. Let us promote him to the exalted position of
management consultant!"
But when told this, the programmer once more refused, saying, "I
exist so that I can program. If I were promoted, I would do nothing
but waste everyone's time. Can I go now? I have a program that I
am working on."
-----
6.4:
A manager went to his programmers and told them: "As regards your
working hours: you are going to have to come in at nine in the
morning and leave at five in the afternoon." At this, all of them
became angry and several resigned on the spot.
So the manager said: "All right, in that case you may set your own
working hours, as long as you finish your projects on schedule."
The programmers, now satisfied, began to come in at noon and work
until the wee hours of the morning.
BOOK SEVEN: Corporate Wisdom
Thus spake the master programmer:
"You can demonstrate a program for an executive, but you
can't make him computer literate."
7.1:
A novice asked the master: "In the east there is a great
tree-structure that men call "Corporate Headquarters". It is
bloated out of shape with vice presidents and accountants. It
issues a multitude of memos, each saying "Go Hence!" or "Go
Hither!" and nobody knows that is meant. Every year new names are
put onto the branches, but all to no avail. How can such an
unnatural entity continue to exist?"
The master replied, "You perceive this immense structure and are
disturbed that it has no rational purpose. Can you not take
amusement from its endless gyrations? Do you not enjoy the
untroubled ease of programming beneath its sheltering branches? Why
then are you bothered by its uselessness?"
-----
7.2:
In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish.
It changes into a bird whose wings are like clouds filling the sky.
When this bird moves across the land, it brings a message from
corporate headquarters. This message it drops into the midst of the
programmers, like a seagull making its mark upon the beach. Then
the bird mounts on the wind and, with the blue sky at its back,
returns home.
The novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he
understands it not. The average programmer dreads the coming of the
bird, for he fears its message. The master programmer continues to
work at his terminal, for he does not know that the bird has come
and gone.
-----
7.3:
The Magician of the Ivory Tower brought his latest invention for the
master programmer to examine. The magician wheeled a large black
box into the master's office while the master waited in silence.
"This is an integrated, distributed, general-purpose workstation,"
began the magician, "ergonomically designed with a proprietary
operating system, sixth generation languages, and multiple
state-of-the-art user interfaces. It took my assistants several
hundred man years to construct. Is it not amazing," he said.
"Corporate headquarters has commanded," continued the magician,
"that everyone use this workstation as a platform for new programs.
Do you agree to this?"
"Certainly," replied the master, "I will have it transported to the
data center immediately!" And the magician returned to his tower,
well pleased.
Several days later, a novice wandered into the office of the master
programmer and said, "I cannot find the listing for my new
program. Do you where it might be?"
"Yes," replied the master," the listings are stacked on the
platform in the data center.
-----
7.4:
The master programmer moves from program to program without fear.
No change in management can harm him. He will not be fired, even if
the project is cancelled. Why is this? He is filled with Tao.
(to be continued ...)