He felt like he was in a bubble with no air. Monica blinked several times but remained silent staring at him. He needed to know what she was thinking but more than that he needed to tell her the truth. "The kid could be mine, Monica. Shit back then I was so wasted most of the time I never thought of taking precautions. We just fucked."
She flinched at his words yet still said nothing. He continued "She told Bert that if I didn't pay her support for the kid she would go to the press and tell them her story. About how she was a young fan who I hooked up with after a Warped concert while I was totally wasted. How I got her hooked on drugs, raped her and got her pregnant." He started pacing the room. Her silence was killing him. "Fuck, Monica please say something?"
She finally spoke "Why in the hell would you think for one minute I would be mad at you? I know you Gee, you would never do that to a woman no matter how fucked up you were. You tried to destroy yourself with the drugs not anyone else."
He stopped pacing with a shocked look on his face, "Be fucking pissed at me Monica. I deserve it. I just told you I might have a kid. A kid born because I was such a fuck-up. No I never raped her but the kid could be mine."
Monica stood and went to him. "The child might be yours. From what you told me about Liv it might not be. Gee, if she is on drugs I don't care whose child it really is, it shouldn't be left with her. We need to find out the truth. Why is she coming to you now? Why didn't she tell you about this child before?"
He shook his head "Fuck I don't know. That night at the Christmas Gala was the first time I had seen her since we broke up. I know she could have told me anytime. Maybe she needs the money for drugs. Liv is the one who introduced me to cocaine." He hated to think of his life back then. He hated that Monica was being forced to hear about it.
"We'll fact this together" Monica hugged him "I just thank God you made it through alive."
Her attitude shocked the hell out of him. She was facing this with such strength he didn't know what to say. She seemed to take charge of the situation. "You need to talk to Brain right away on the off chance she does go to the press."
He led her back to the bed and gently pushed her down. He sat next to her "Honey, I'm sorry my past is coming back to haunt us..." He had more to say but she cut him off.
"Gee, I love you and I am determined that nothing or no one is going to tear us apart.
Your mom told me to stop being afraid and to live. That is what I'm doing. Now find Brain and tell him."
Her newfound strength was confusing him. Not that he was unhappy in any way about it but still he didn't know how to react. "Monica, are you sure you are OK?"
She smiled at him, "Yea Gee, I'm OK. I'm O-fucking-K"
He rubbed his hand over his face, "Actually that is I'm NOT O-fucking-K"
She shook her head, "You say it your way and I'll say it mine. Gee, really we will face this together. I did a lot of thinking New Years Eve. It's time I make some changes in my life. The most important one is that I'm not running anymore from anything."
He wondered if this meant she was through running from her own past but now was not the time to find out. She was focused on helping him and he needed her resolve. Once more she told him to find Brain and he went out to look for him.
When he and Brian returned to the bedroom she was still sitting on the bed where he had left her. Quickly he filled his manager in on the situation. As expected Brain was upset. However, he agreed with Monica they needed to find out if the child was really Gerard's. He would start making calls in the morning before they took off for Chicago.
Brian spoke to them a few more minutes then announced he was leaving. Gerard walked him out of the party. Once in the hall Brian turned to Gerard with questions.
"OK I don't want to add any more shit on your plate but what's up with Monica? I mean most women would be at least a little upset about something like this. She doesn't seem upset at all. Don't get me wrong I think it's great she is supporting you and all it just seems sort of out of character for her"
"Shit man, I don't know what to think. I was so fucking sure she would be upset and say she wouldn't go on the tour with me. Instead she reacts like this. I don't know what to think"
Brian started down the hall "You got yourself one hell of a woman, Gee. Give her a hug for me" He disappeared into the elevator.
Gerard walked back into the party immediately looking for Monica. Over in the corner she was talking to Ray. At first he thought she might be telling him about what had just happened but they were laughing. Once more he was struck by pure blinding emotion. God, this was what love felt like. He watched her giggle at some stupid thing Ray said. She looked up and saw him watching her. Their eyes met and she simply smiled at him. His heart seemed to stop. Ray was talking to Alicia now and Monica walked across the room to him.
He put his arms around her and clung to her like a man drowning. Once more he tired to tell her how sorry he was. She placed her finger on his lips. "Gee stop it. I told you we will face this together. Now this is a party and you need to show your girl a good time."
He smiled "My girl, shit I like the sound of that. You are my girl, more than that, you are my life." He kissed her deeply wishing they were alone.
She seemed to read his mind "When I'm in your arms the rest of the world fades away." She whispered softly. "Tonight when you hold me in your arms Gee the world will fade away and there will just be you and me. Nothing will ever change that."