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So it’s official. Swarms of young suburban Outies are defecting to the downtown Innies. A TD Economics report this week confirms it.

Dark days of civil war lie ahead for Hogtown. I told you so.

A while back, I urged the United Nations to forget such trifles as Afghanistan, Gaza, Mali and the Congo and do something about the Toronto Crisis.

I warned the feud between Outies and Innies could descend into a festering sore rivaling the Middle East, the Koreas and Jennifer Aniston vs. Angelina Jolie.

Do something, I begged, before it gets really ugly, before Tim Hortons on the steppes of Scarborough are attacked by hordes of pink poodles, before my Starbucks near Dundas Square is torched by mobs dressed like lumberjacks, and that’s just the women.

Sadly, I did not hear back from UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, but I bet the TD report gets his attention.

It describes a dramatic population shift in the Big Smoke. No longer are young people flocking to the suburbs for peace and quiet and bigger, cheaper homes.

Now, they are flocking downtown for chaos, noise and $500,000 condos the size of a shoe box.

The core’s population is rising faster even than that of booming GTA suburbs — Peel, Durham, York and Halton — for the first time ever.

Since 2000, more than 50,000 new condo units have been occupied south of Bloor St. and nearly 100,000 more are in the works.

Who lives down here, besides me?

Well, my neighbours are mostly Echo Boomers, spawn of the Baby Boom. They are younger, better educated and — they firmly believe — smarter than their country cousins in Etobicoke or North York.

Their swelling numbers are making these Innies uppity.

It’s all David Miller’s fault.

(Ed. note: Strobel, you can’t blame everything on Miller.)

Why not, boss? You do. Besides, all these condo towers sprouted during King David’s watch. I suspect it was his ploy to lure subjects to his kingdom by providing them housing and easy access to wild nightclubs.

Miller’s math was often suspect, but he understood this simple formula: The more people living in the core, the less likely a messiah like Rob Ford can arise in the suburbs and storm downtown barricades.

Still, I like the result. Our downtown hums with life at all hours. Ever been to downtown Cleveland or Detroit or Phoenix? Deadsville after 5 p.m.

But our highly liveable core has a price: Eternal civil war with the suburbs.

The divide was already stark in the last election.

Rob Ford lost in all 13 central wards. This Land of Innies sided with the lefty combo of George Smitherman and Joe Pantalone.

Ford won all 31 Outie wards, at the time more than enough to win the mayor’s job.

You see the problem. As young Outies flood the downtown — and start dying their hair orange and keeping shi tzus — the rift will only deepen, between stylish Innies and stolid Outies.

The tension is most visible on the floor of city council, but can street-fighting be far behind?

Already, the local Maltese are sniffing me suspiciously. I must still have the scent of Scarborough on my shoes. Damn the little mutts.

Since the UN wants nothing to do with this, we must make our own peace.

Perhaps the TD report shows it is time for an Innie-Outie Summit? Get to know each other, find common ground.

We can meet at the border, say Johnny’s Hamburgers on Victoria Park Ave., where legendary Outie comedian Mike Myers spent his youth.

Cheeseburgers too bourgeois for you Innies? Perhaps a trendy vegetarian place in Bloor West Village. It’s close enough to the Humber River for an Outie to flee back across the border if he starts gagging on the tofu.

The Urban-Suburban Divide: Can Innies handle the invasion of the Outies?

So it’s official. Swarms of young suburban Outies are defecting to the downtown Innies. A TD Economics report this week confirms it.

Dark days of civil war lie ahead for Hogtown. I told you so.

A while back, I urged the United Nations to forget such trifles as Afghanistan, Gaza, Mali and the Congo and do something about the Toronto Crisis.

I warned the feud between Outies and Innies could descend into a festering sore rivaling the Middle East, the Koreas and Jennifer Aniston vs. Angelina Jolie.

Do something, I begged, before it gets really ugly, before Tim Hortons on the steppes of Scarborough are attacked by hordes of pink poodles, before my Starbucks near Dundas Square is torched by mobs dressed like lumberjacks, and that’s just the women.

Sadly, I did not hear back from UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, but I bet the TD report gets his attention.

It describes a dramatic population shift in the Big Smoke. No longer are young people flocking to t