This is a discussion on How to Bond with Another INTP? INTP-INTP within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; There is this INTP who just started at work and he is much more introverted than I am. I would ...

How to Bond with Another INTP? INTP-INTP

There is this INTP who just started at work and he is much more introverted than I am. I would go so far as to say that he is painfully introverted. But I really want to be friends with him. How should I approach him and get him to open up? Remember, I am also an INTP

Maybe it's just me, but I don't respond well to the typical get-to-know-you behavior when I don't know the motivation behind it (mere curiosity, trying to become friends, or something else).
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If I were this person, I would prefer that you indicate your interest more directly than small talk indicates interest. I doubt that any INTP prefers to be approached with questions about family and shit. You can probably launch into a more substantial conversation. Something technical about work is relatively safe yet substantial. Maybe ask to lunch with the person or, to start off smaller, share a coffee break.

We were acquaintances really, met through mutual friends, so initially we wouldn't talk much to each other. That was until I realised our interaction styles were fairly similar. So I started asking him random philosophical or technical questions. Completely ignored the typical 'hi, how are you?' small talk kind of stuff. Unnecessary if the person is really an NTP.

Asked the question and if I didn't get an immediate answer, I would just let him think about it for a while. Sure enough, he would come back with a well thought out answer. At long last, he started initiating himself and we've been friends ever since - 16 years and counting.

We were acquaintances really, met through mutual friends, so initially we wouldn't talk much to each other. That was until I realised our interaction styles were fairly similar. So I started asking him random philosophical or technical questions. Completely ignored the typical 'hi, how are you?' small talk kind of stuff. Unnecessary if the person is really an NTP.

Asked the question and if I didn't get an immediate answer, I would just let him think about it for a while. Sure enough, he would come back with a well thought out answer. At long last, he started initiating himself and we've been friends ever since - 16 years and counting.

This is kinda how my best friend and I got started. I met him at a Best Buy and we swapped emails. Added him to MSN back in the day, after months of silence I tried to get out of my comfort zone by poking him and asking him questions about him. It was very hit or miss, but eventually we got the hang of how we think and he started initiating himself and inviting me over to his place.

At first I didn't think that much of him, but months later he basically floors me by showing me his understanding of capitalist systems and introduces me to the HyperNormalization documentary. It's been well over 10 years and he turned out to be easily the wisest person I've ever met. I would've never seen him for what he was at first.