Lightning Man on “Mountain Monsters,” Part II

As the second part of the Lightning Man episode commenced on Mountain Monsters (S4, Ep04), acting team leader Buck tried to talk with the grandson of the man who owned the barn that the artifact was buried in, but was rebuffed. The team then talked with “Shannon,” a Bigfoot expert, who pronounced the stone object that they had unearthed in the barn to be a “Thunder Blade.” The “Thunder Ax,” when assembled, was the only thing that could harm the Lightning Man. Its possession was therefore both a blessing and a curse.

The mythology held that the “Thunder Ax” was given in the early 1900’s to the Sutter family by Native Americans. A spellbound object, the ax kept the Lightning Man under control while buried, but the spell was broken when the ax head was dug up. The Lightning Man and Thunder Brothers wanted possession of the ax as then they wouldn’t be controlled by it, and could run rampant. If the Lightning Man touched the ax without retaining possession of it, however, it would again become spellbound and the Bigfoot controlled. There were two other components to the ax besides the blade, namely the ax handle and the lashings which bound the head to the handle.

Following clues in a poetic riddle, the team then went in search of these components. A large oil drum was found in the woods which contained a pipe within which was the ax handle. A crazed redneck called “Skunky Tom” then pegged a round at the team, causing them to beat a hasty retreat with the discovered pipe. Again following clues, a pond was found with a dock beneath which was a box containing part of the ax handle lashings; apparently, not just any would do. Inconveniently, the lashings had been separated into two groupings, with the second piece put in a cabin. Following the poetic riddle (“You shall find if you seek/in the cabin by the creek“), the team located a cabin with a stove within which was a hollowed-out log containing a pipe within which was the second part of the lashing. Unfortunately the team had lit a fire within the stove, with said fire including the log in question as fuel. Not to worry, however, Huckleberry urinated on the log to extinguish the fire. – – Hey, this isn’t Masterpiece Theater, folks!

Well, the AIMS team finally assembled the Thunder Ax, which was put into a security box devised by Willy which allowed the Lightning Man to touch the object while triggering a device to snatch it away into the safety of the original trap. Taking up their posts, the team heard thunder after which lightning struck a tree, causing Jeff to be knocked down, loosing both a boot and control of his bladder in the process. The security box or safe worked, however, and the Thunder Man presumably touched the ax, which was saved from him. The rejoicing team members were going to again dismantle the ax and re-bury it, leaving their own riddles strewn with the component parts to provide location clues should any future generations need to reassemble the ax. I’m sure that those riddles will someday become classics of English literature, and as with most myths, we never saw the actual object of them…

Yeah, it’s not meant to be true. The proximity fuse case they “dug out of the mud” that was supposedly buried 100 years ago was created November 1974. It was printed on the side of the can. They are airtight and no way would be there. The earliest it could have even been bought was 1980. Then the cabin from 100 years ago, the thing had sliding windows? Pressboard walls? Sigh! It’s just too funny to miss though. For a real laugh, check out Ghost Brothers. I laughed through the entire thing! :=}