In Canada, when someone appears on the scene who has a terrible hairdo, a big mouth, odd skin tone and a questionable IQ, there’s either two places for them. They can get a job at the local circus, or potentially wind up in the nuthouse. In the United States, however, such an individual can and has become the head honcho, grand poobah, and Chief of everything. Yessiree, the President!

From a northern perspective, I’d say old Trump is in a lot of trouble right now. Whenever someone gets close to finding out about him selling the Russians Trump Ice Water and the nuclear codes, he fires them. This strategy might work on a distant planet where androids and humans are made in the same factory by the gazillions, but on good old planet Earth, he’s gonna run out of people to toss to the curb…..

Not to mention the polls have him somewhere between being impeached, or tarred and feathered (I prefer the latter). Trump needs to clear his name, once and for all. I think the right way for him to do this, is to appear on National Television and take a lie-detector test. The question is which show should he grace with his presence? At first I thought Steve Wilkos would be a good fit, as they’re both bullies, but they’d be a total intellectual mismatch. Although Trump has the IQ of a Water Buffalo with mad-cow disease on a good day, he’d look like a rocket scientist next to Wilkos, who reminds me of a moustache-less Dr. Phil with severe head trauma.

In a case like this, Maury is the guy to call. In one segment of the show (you couldn’t devote the whole episode to him, it would be too yuge!), he could put the entire matter to rest. Guilty or innocent. Cause they wouldn’t be faking things on the Maury show, right? To be honest, right now I think any one of those idiotic talk shows have more credibility than President Bad-Hair does. So go for it, Donald! Take the lie detector test! Oh, and maybe a DNA test while you’re at it, I think Clyde the Orangutan might be your son….