Emergency Republican Debate

Donald Trump’s assertion that he could stand on Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, and his groupies would still support him, was met with outrage on the part of other Republican Presidential wannabees. Because of that, Republicans held a special debate, in which the top five candidates could have their say. It went something like this:

Cruz: I could shoot 10 people and my supporters would still love me! No, wait! I could shoot 100 people! Or 1000! Name a number! I could shoot that many people!

Trump: You idiot. Nobody likes you in Congress, and you can’t even aim a gun straight. You aren’t even an American. I don’t know why you are here. I’m going to outlaw Canadians when I am President, so people like you never start problems like this again.

Cruz: I’m an American! I love the flag! I cheat on my taxes! And I can shoot a lot of people!

Carson: May I please speak? I’m getting a bit frustrated, here. I have already shot someone. Or maybe I stabbed someone. It’s tough to recall. But I think we need a President who talks softly and then shoots people. It’s much more civilized.

Trump: Who is that idiot who is speaking?! He stopped getting supporters months ago. Why is he still here? Why are any of you still here? Can somebody get me a gun? (All audience members pull their guns out and start coming up to the stage to hand them to Trump)

Bush: This isn’t what my dad or my brother told me I would have to put up with.

Rubio: Nobody seems to care about me anymore. I am proud of my record in insisting that the mentally ill deserve guns as much as anyone else does. And I would shoot people, also. Prefereably moms and disabled vets.

Trump: Pretty Boy speaks. Hey, Marco, you of the foreign and not-to-be-trusted name, nobody cares. Go join Mama’s Boy and stand in the corner. You need a Time Out. I suspect you are Mexican, which might be worse than Cruz being Canadian. How did this happen to our country? We all used to be like me, minus the supreme intelligence and the legendary low blood pressure, of course. Now, we have lost our country to people like you. Well, I’m going to get it back, by spewing one insulting comment after another. I’m going to abuse every single value Americans have held dear, and the result will be that I get to be President! God, I love masochistic voters!

Bush: This is seriously not what I had in mind. I’m taking my five percent and going home.

Cruz, Rubio, and Carson in unison: We are also leaving. We don’t want to play this game anymore.

Trump rips of all of his clothes and starts randomly shooting into the audience: Ha ha! I’m the only one left! And I’m naked! And I have all the guns!

Renee, this is quite funny. Well done. If you read between the lines, Trump is telling his followers they are so stupid, he could shoot someone and they would still follow him. That shows his arrogance and disdain for his public. Thanks for writing this, Keith

Renee, the sad part is as horrible as The Donald is and how poorly he is perceived around the globe, he would be better than the person who he is competing with in Senator Cruz. Cruz has played a huge role in Congress’ dysfunction and he says he is the solution. Trump knows he is making stuff up right and left, but Cruz believes his own BS and that is the difference. Thanks again for a very funny debate. Keith

Yet the only candidates the democrats even have to choose from are a criminal and a communist. This election will be a Republican landslide. Especially when Bloomberg jumps in after Hillary is indited next month.

Thanks for weighing in. I believe Hillary is neither a criminal, nor will she be indicted. And who is the communist? Sanders is a democratic socialist. The two idealogies are quite different. As for the Republican landslide, I think not. This country needs two strong political parties to give balance. The Republican party has been temporarily hijacked. I hope it survives, but I certainly don’t expect a landslide.

Thanks for allowing my comment! I give you credit for that as it seems many blogs these days don’t believe in freedom of speech. My problem with socialism is that it creates the very class system it claims to destroy by designating government officials as the “upper class” and everybody else as the lower class dependent on the government. Our ancestors came here to escape that very thing. Capitalism is the American dream, the better life, that we all came here for.

I welcome civil debate. I don’t think our government is in any danger of creating an upper class of government officials. We seem to be doing a pretty good job of that with the 1/10 of 1% of the non-government population who control such vast wealth.I think Sanders is more in the FDR model: wanting a strong capitalist government that still acknowledges the responsibility that government has in the field of social welfare. We already have social security, Medicare, Medicaid. Sanders would like to also see a single payer insurance system. I know he has advocated for free higher education, but I don’t see that happening. The way I see it, the main economic problem we have now is the rapid shrinking of the middle class. Sanders is concerned about that also.That’s a far greater threat to capitalism than government-run social welfare programs.

I find Trump both fascinating and repulsive in equal measure- but then again, whenever *anyone* goes to the White House, they figure out lightning fast that almost nothing ever gets done anyway. So if he’s elected, you can pretty much count on him giving plenty of super bombastic speeches on the lawn, but there are enough outraged members of the House and Senate to keep him in check;)

Fascinating and repulsive is a great way to put it. I would certainly hope that Trump would be held in check by Congress. I would fear for our standing in the world, though. When the only diplomacy the man knows is to fire people, it’s not going to go over very well with other countries. I’m less upset with him, per se, than with the deep vein of hatred and distrust he has tapped into with potential voters.

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