>> Friday, April 16, 2010

I enjoy spending time with other couples. You learn so much from each other. Especially about parenting because you get two perspectives. Our dear friend moved to Connecticut last year, (boohoo) and when our children were about three & an infant, they had twins, one boy and one girl who were in school. When the twins were 7, our friends had this phrase that never left me; "Divide and Conquer". I remembered a one time amendment to the phrase which was, "With one you have a handle on things but if you have three or more, you're out numbered".

Now the phrase could mean a couple of things. One was with discipline, as a family they worked out their own way, contract, for having discussions with each child, when necessary, with only mommy or only daddy in a private place. Either parent was the disciplinarian. It worked the same way with spending Saturdays together. Our friends had their date times and family outings, but they also had a Saturday to spend with one of the twins. So it was so nice to see Daddy take out daughter to wherever she wanted and talk about life as well as mommy with son. It was so endearing for me to see mommy spending time with daughter, going to the salon or getting pretty nail designs, as I do not have a girl to experience this wonderful phenomenon. Then to see the son with father, is just a tear jerker for me. Kind of like when you see dads in the street carrying their babies in the carry on snuggle pocket, thing a ma jig.

We now take our boys out and I realize how much they need that individual time with those they love as they have their own relationships. I also learned 6 to 7 is a good time to start but explaining the plan to them first. As you know when children are younger, you are not leaving their site without a fight. They do not care who your spending time with, especially another sibling ;) So anyway I found "Divide and Conquer" such an intriguing phrase and it brings back fond memories of our times together. We will be meeting our our friends again for an upcoming holiday. I'll let you know what's new with them.

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I was happy to start this blog as I am married myself and know how difficult married life can be. I also know many joys and experiencing a sense of oneness with my spouse. I am a counselor by profession with two Masters degrees and have counseled many couples with much success. I also have two adorable children who make my marriage even richer in love.