People’s Court: Heavenly Edition

As promised, this is a follow up to my earlier post, picking out a dream team for the next time they decided to introduce a legal show. For my last post, everyone was alive. This time, I’m making up the cast from actors who’ve already had their “In Memoriam” moment. .

Judge: The judge from My Cousin Vinny was a close second, but in the end there’s only one person who can be the judge: Judge Smails of Caddyshack fame. Rodney, Bill, and Chevy are Caddyshack’s top stars, but Ted held his own with them. He has just as many great lines, with my favorite (twisted as it is) being:

Defense attorney: This can’t be anyone but Atticus Finch. The book is brilliant and Gregory Peck is fantastic – both in that role and generally.

Prosecutor: Adam Bonner from Adam’s Rib gets to be the district attorney, but only because Spencer Tracy is playing opposite Katherine Hepburn in this fantastic movie.

Bailiff: Selma Hacker from Night Court is my choice for bailiff. She was tough and dry and she was on Night Court, which is still one of my favorite legal shows.

Investigator: I would pick Kalinda again, but given that she’s still alive and kicking, I’ll have to go with my second favorite investigator – Columbo. I think his bumbling facade has become a role model for investigators everywhere, so he gets big points for that. Plus, he was in the Princess Bride, which automatically makes him super-cool.

As this court is clearly criminal, I’m going to add in a police officer who frequently appears to testify: Detective Fish from Barney Miller. (And yes, I know, he’s still alive. But I had to do this because poor Abe has struggled with that problem for decades – people think he’s dead and yet he’s still alive and acting!)

I love Barney Miller. In fact, this whole post is really just an excuse to do two things: (1) quote one of my favorite lines from my all-time favorite movie and (2) discuss my favorite cop show. The actors in Barney Miller were all lovable and the outfits really grew on me. I wish men today wore fantastic fat ties and fabulous plaid pants. And speaking of fabulous men in plaid, I’m was so excited to see Ron Glass, the sexy detective from Barney Miller, become Shephard Book, the sexy preacher on Firefly. Time to go watch Serenity!

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Jessica has been litigating business and IP disputes for the past decade. During that time, she’s dealt with clients, lawyers, and judges who have varying degrees of appreciation for the challenges of managing discovery in an electronic age. Until the fall of 2011, she was an attorney at a large, Texas-based law firm, where she represented clients in state and federal court nationwide. That fall, she made a long-desired move back to the Midwest and is now a partner at Hansen Reynolds Dickinson Crueger LLC, a litigation boutique based in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where she continues to litigate while also consulting with business and law firms on e-discovery issues (before, during, and after litigation arises).