Tuesday, 19 January 2016

The call of nature...

Toileting is not the most elegant subject to discuss but after all, it's only natural and even 'Wheelchair Boy' has to go. You probably are thinking "what happens in the WC, stays in the WC" and you would normally be right. I quite like my privacy. However, I cannot think of anything better to write about. Not just that but I know some of my readers are interested by the modifications I have in place to help me out in ordinary life situations. Hopefully you read this post and think "I did not know that!" Others will no doubt think "Did I really just waste five minutes of my life reading that?"

Going for a wee is a simple act for able bodied people and requires little thought. However, it has always been that extra bit difficult for 'Wheelchair Boy'. There was no problem when I could stand because I would use the bars in the disabled toilet (they are not just there for decorative purposes) to get to my feet, my carer would lower my trousers and then I would be able to do the rest using a bottle. As you all know, because it is the reason I had to get the Carony Classic system fitted in my car. I cannot stand anymore unless I have the standing hoist to support me. This is OK for toileting at home but I would be stuffed whenever I am out and get caught short.

Luckily I was looking at my jeans one day when this standing malarkey was starting to become an issue and suddenly a light bulb went off in my brain. I thought of a way that I could still go in a bottle without standing. Cut a hole in the crotch and sew on Velcro strips so that it is easy to re-seal. Thanks to a family friend, most of my trousers are adapted but they just look normal. You can only notice they are different if you have a proper look (which would be weird; let us get to know each other first!) or if I point it out in a blog post...

I do not think any of you are that grossed out by what I have written up to this point so I am going to discuss the second call of nature. I have some decorum so I am not even going to mention the actual pooing (oops, I just did) but instead I would like to focus on the cleaning up after oneself. Obviously I cannot wipe after I have finished so when someone else has to, I feel so pathetic and useless. At home, I have a Clos-o-Mat wash and dry toilet so I can do it all myself at a touch of a button. I just wish they were more common in places I visit, particularly hotels.