www.NewWaveFeminists.com

Friday, September 29, 2017

Once upon a time,
women got wise to the ways of misogynist men and began standing up for their
rights...

When the big bad pig patriarchy realized that this meant they
could no longer abuse women and get sex out of them at will and that *gasp!*
they would actually have to start respecting them as equal human beings, they
knew something had to be done. And quick!

So they came up with a plan...

They would convince women that consequence-free sex
was what they actually wanted all along. After all, didn't they mention
something about equality? So, if these men were pigs, then women should
be able to be pigs too, right?!

To help the women on their journey to liberation,
the pigs packed them a picnic basket with plenty of delicious little treats -
like poisonous (shhhh!) birth control pills and the "right" to
abortion. Then they convinced the women that their bodies were no longer
private entities to be respected, but instead told them that if they were truly
free, then their nipples should be too! Their bodies went on public displays
for all the pigs to consume.

"Of course we 'respect' your sexuality,"
the misogynists would say with a chuckle as they watched the women strut about
topless, ogling their boobs on street corners instead of in brothels. "You
can sleep with me if you want and, get this, if you never want to see me again,
well, that's just fine with me... your ‘liberation’ is my command!" they'd
say. "Just reach into that picnic basket we packed for you and let me free
you from the confines of this sexually oppressive society you've been trapped
in for so long."

They added, "Oh! And don't worry, if an
‘accident’ happens and we procreate while engaging in this procreative act,
you'll know what to do. After all, the basis for your empowerment is my, er, I
mean your sexual freedom, right? And we can't just let some kid get in
the way of you expressing yourself, can we? Of course not! ...I'd offer to pay
for it, but you're an empowered, independent woman who makes her own money, so
I know you won't need anything from me!"

And the women ate it up, making pigs of themselves
because these lies tasted so good at first. The misogynist pigs used all the
right words to make it sound extra tasty. And the next morning, after the pigs
had gotten all they wanted out of the women, they moved on to their next sexual
conquest. But not before telling the woman how empowered they were and leaving
one more tiny jewelry-shaped gift at her door.

See, the women who decades ago had shaken off the
shackles of bondage would now gleefully put them back on, all because the
misogynists convinced them that the shackles were really bracelets.

Moral of the story: Don't convince yourself you've smashed the patriarchy, simply because it's wearing a different mask now.

*Please note that this story is not about all men. Only douchebag pigs, or "the New Patriarchy" as we like to call them around here.***************************************************