Nick Anthis points us to the best satire of Valentine’s Day: Valinetine’s Day. The holiday is named after the amino acid valine, and is celebrated with nerdy, yet sexy, poetry. Nick offers up some examples of valinetine poems, such as this one to the theme of tumor suppressor genes:

You’ve wounded me, dear;
And how can it be?
You’ve reached in and disabled
My p53.

Something is growing,
You’ve heard the rumour
Love grows in my heart
And it isn’t a tumor.

–Josh Siepel

I don’t have any poetry to offer you, but Nick has posted a bunch on his site. I’m surprised no one incorporated cleavage furrow or incomplete penetrance in their poems — those terms were good for a chuckle in high school, and they’re still funny today.