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I'm still feeling so sad for you and it does seem so tragic in many of our eyes, but it's all different perspectives. I'm glad to see you are dealing with this so well, I would be in bits!!! Ella is free now, and at the shining Rainbow Bridge. Still thinking of and praying for you guys.

Thank you. I need prayers right now because I feel a heavy weight on my chest. I want to be strong and think things happen for a reason and she will always be with me but I miss her so much. I can't stop crying

Annie I am so sorry to read about Ella, I can smypathies with you & feel your loss. I am lying here crying my eyes out as I know the bond you two shared was a strong, binding, forever type of love. She is at peace now, she fought her battle & did it with the love, care & support from you-you both gave it everything.

You will see your Angel Ella at the bridge, until then mind yourself & take pride in all she achieved in her young short life because of you.

Letter for Lynn and Blondie

I can't believe I was so lucky to have Ella in my life. I am truly touched by how many people also grew to love her. I hope Lynn (Blondiemaster) does not mind I post this here since she said it was ok to add to my blog but this was one of the sweetest things and since she has been such a big support on CavalierTalk, I thought it should be shared here.

"Sweet Ella,

I've gotten to know you a little bit through your mommy,

and even though I never met you, you were my best Cavalier

buddy on the forum. I shared your story and your name often with my friends

and enjoyed reading all the stories about you.

Your mom loved you very much, she was on the forum all the time learning and reading

about you and your breed, finding ways to make your life better and more comfortable.

We all learned so much from your story. You lived with this horrible disease called

SM, which my puppy has too.. yet you were so strong and brave and loved going

to the doggie bar and hanging out with your mommy, still enjoying days in the park.

When I read the horrible news on the Cavalier forum about your illness, I checked the forum ten times a day for updates, until I saw the last news that Anne had decided it was time to set you free. I was in the car from upstate NY with my boyfriend, and read him your Mom's message.

In the middle of the message the tears were flowing and I don't think he understood much else of what I said. We stopped the car, and even my boyfriend shed a tear for you coz he

felt how unsettling it was for me. You are a symbol for all cavaliers with SM and I could feel your mommy's worries and pain as if they were mine. Blondie was in the car with us too and I know se must've felt something cause she was very quiet the whole drive home.

I then quietly read all the other messages that were left for you and I can tell you: you must've touched so many hearts and souls. Never before have I seen such sadness and so many messages there. And though I know that for us, this is all so so sad:

I know, for you, sweet Ella, it is not. I know you understand the flow of life and death better than us humans do. And I know that you do not see it as something frightening or horrible.

You are now running at the bridge with Charly and all the other cavaliers that recently passed as well as Anne's family who is waiting for you at the bridge and will love you and hug you while your mommy is still hanging around with us for a little while.

Run free little angel, and keep an eye on my Blondiemonster while you are up there too

Love

Lynn and Blondie"

There are many here that are playing with who I call Angel Ella in Rainbows Bridge and I hope she will one day be able to smile at me again!

I wrote a long post then erased it but might write more. I am overcome with emails, replies to her post on the other forum with her being sick and to help. I ask that one be closed and people say their peace here. I will email each one of you later but I don't want to erase messages and sometimes it's hard to fight the tears. I truly believe Ella touched so many and knowing that gives me some peace. She went through so much yet, would never lose her spirit. In the short life she had, she has brought me friends throughout the world and she will live in my heart forever. I will continue her blog www.fightforella.blogspot.com but this is something from a previous post about why I wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

PS. Here last weekend was at the beach (her favorite place). Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe there is a reason for everything but I know she will be looking down with Rupert and others at Rainbows Bridge.

Why Did I Want a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel?

I could say that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are the best breed, but a more accurate statement is they are the best breed for me. My cousin has a weimaraner but she runs marathons and is active which did not run in the family. That dog is perfect for her. Could I see her with a Cavalier, no. Then there are the dogs that have functions, like police dogs, working dogs on farms, the hunters, watch dogs, etc. None of those fit my need.

I have always been in love with dogs. I used to draw the same dog over and over again when I was young. It just so happens that the dog looked exactly like Ella. Maybe I got the picture from the move Lady and the Tramp, or maybe I knew something about the future dog that would steal my heart. When I searched for a dog, I did not look for someone who had that image. Even though I think they are beautiful, I had a different reason for wanting one. I needed a dog that would show me the affection that I needed. I wanted a dog that would be by my side and want to lay with me in my lap and by my side. I have said that my choosing to have a dog was because I was in a difficult place and depressed. Someone (I don't think of her as a dog) that loved me unconditionally would be just what I needed. That might sound selfish but it was a mutual bond that I can not even describe.

When I was young I went through my parents divorce and it was extremely difficult for me. I got my first dog as a birthday present. Okay buying a child a dog may not be the best decision because Flip (my cocker spaniel) soon became my parents responsibility. However, there were times when I wanted to hide. I would hold on Flip and every thought would make things okay.

When I read about Cavaliers and there eagerness to please, show affection, complete love was what made me know this was the breed for me. Yes, Sex and the City, made me familiar with them, but it was not the social status of this breed or anything else that was my thoughts. When I went to see the puppies from a breeder I researched, I met Ella. She instantly came to me. She was not playing with the others but fell asleep in my arms and on my chest. I heard her heartbeat, I felt the bond and I fell instantly in love. Ella was not one of the puppies for sale. Actually the breeder was going to keep her for breeding. I have said God gave me Ella and maybe another reason was because she having SM would have saved others from this condition. I guess it is more complicated but she was my angel.

I was instantly lightened with joy. I had a purpose to live, and I will always be thankful to her. As I look into her eyes, I see that closeness. I feel so strongly that I sometimes can see to her soul. A dog having a soul maybe a stretch but there is something unique about dogs.

I have read stories and heard from friends about dogs having a sixth sense. I know personally, Ella will know when I am feeling a certain way and come to me for comfort. How can a dog sense that. The amazing tales of dogs and cats and knowing things before they occur. Recently you may have read the story of Ollie the cat at a nursing home who could tell before a person died. Scientist might say it is because of certain smells etc. but any explanation still remains that this story shows that the future is known before. I have a friend that a lab found a spot of cancer and saved her owner before anything was detected. There are many stories of animals knowing people are sick before.

What about the ability to tell an earthquake is about to happen. Coming home several months later and miles away. So many stories but one that stole my heart was the story of HACHIKO. I watched the Richard Gere movie on this legendary dog in tears. It is a tail of devotion and a bond I feel with Ella. http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm tells the legend of this dog that even after his owners death, would go everyday at the same time to the train station awaiting the return of his beloved friend.

I really suggest reading this or watching the movie. If you thought Marley and Me was a tear jerker, then it is even more.

To sum up my story of Ella is pretty simple. I wanted a dog to have a bond with. To share a mutual affection and love that I so long desired. I look at her everyday and I feel it. Some people thing of dogs as pets, some family, some I hate to think of but I think of Ella as a love that I have in my heart that will live on forever.