Andrew Bynum

…And we’re here! Finally wrapping up a recap of the top 100 and how much I hated Andre Drummond coming into the year. It’s not my fault! He still can’t hit free throws! Aherm, cough, I think I’m going to miss today’s class with the flu.

So far, and I’m not just saying this for my ego, I think I did the Nation better than I expected. Sure there were swing-and-misses – I’m not Biff from Back to the Future Part II! But it’s been a great learning experience recapping my ranks, and our loyal, bearded Slim comes in with his grades. Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season. Slim then recaps JB’s best ranks in the 101-200 range and worst. Giannis Antetokounmpo for MVP! To keep it unbiased, Slim picked the best 4 and worst 4, so we’ll have to see who he goes with… Here’s a look back at the Top 100 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Ohhhhh, fringe-fantasy worthy Duke players… I’m not a fan! Belle Knox isn’t a fan! Is she fringe-fantasy worth? Plausibly. Whilst you search her in Incognito mode, Kyle Singer went all multi-cat in a near-rainbow explosion for 11/7/3/5/1. He even stole DeMarcus Cousins‘ parking spot! Fight, fight! While I’m not necessarily the biggest Singler fan (which I’m sure you can ascertain by the title and if you’ve read all year), he does have something going for him that all Lakers and Bucks would give their left nut for. Consistent minutes. After the All-Star break, Singler is averaging 34 minutes a game. And hey, he needs every single[r] one of them to stay fantasy relevant. Burn! But relevant indeed, as his slash in that time is 11.7/3.1/1.6/1.1/0.6. Not setting the world on fire, but for your fringe-guys – especially in weekly leagues – giving you a little of something is better than a lot of nothing. Award winning advice right there! Along with the multi-cat, is at 1.5 treys and 82% FT shooting since the break. Dibbling in this, dabbling in that, and next thing you know he’s someone you trust more than, I dunno, maybe even Brandon Jennings who couldn’t find the hole last night. “Tie in a joke from the beginning, tie in a joke from the beginning!” Shut up 13-year-old inner monologue! Here’s what else I saw in NBA action from last night:

The playoffs are a-comin’, and around this time of year I like to go shopping for streamers.

Now I’m not going to grab any of these guys just yet. I’m just going to identify them for easy plucking when I’m in the heat of the battle in a couple weeks. My all-time playoff streamer is Reggie Evans, who won me more than a few leagues in the early-to-mid 2000s with his beastly and improbable rebounding runs.

Elton Brand could be the Reggie Evans of this year’s playoffs. Only he’ll be an über-streamer in the blocks category with some rebounds thrown in. He’s averaging 2.8 bpg over his last five games.

It’s also possible that Reggie Evans could be the Reggie Evans of the 2014 Fantasy Playoffs, but to a lesser degree. The only Amish black man on the planet is averaging almost 8 rpg since joining the Nets, including 9 boards in each of his last two games.

But my secret weapon streamer for this year could very well be Jeff Adrien, who is averaging 9 rpg since arriving in Milwaukee, including three 10-plus rebound games out of the four he’s played. That’s kind of sick, right?

Razzball Nation! We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning. And snuck in the end! I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars. “Wait, why is he winning best picture! So confused right now…” Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win… And that’s a problem! Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week. But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too! After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO. I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO. BOOM! Double sports joke. The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played. Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add. So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music. And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:

It’s weird enough that the basketball team that plays in Utah is called the Jazz. I’ve never been to Salt Lake City, but I’m preeetttyyy suuurrree that it’s not crawling with disciples of Miles Davis and Thelonious Monk.

Now, said weirdness is multiplied by the recent resurgence of Enes Kanter, which very well could ensure the continuance of a veritable Ottoman Empire at the Utah Jazz center position.

No, it hasn’t lasted 624 years, and no it hasn’t swallowed 32 provinces and all kinds of vassal states in Southeast Europe, Western Asia, the Caucasus, North Africa and the Horn of Africa.

But between Mehmet Okur and Kanter, the paint has been patrolled by a native of Turkey for the last 10 years.

Just like a vacation to Cape Cod, Tim Hardaway Jr. got a sabbatical Mike Woodson’s bench at the start of 2014. “My New Year’s resolution will be… Bench my best players! Well except Melo…” Playing under 15 minutes in first 5 2014 games, it looked like it would be a Hardaway Way Back. But as they say, “slow and steady wins the race!” Then how come Andrew Bynum isn’t running track? “Usain Bolt got nothing on me!” Then starting on the 14th, Coach Woody got Timmy Tim more minutes, capped off with 30+ in three of the last four. And man, was last night some straight ballin’! Topping his career-high by 8, Timmay(!) went 29/3/1 in 31 minutes, shooting a sizzling 11-17 FG with 6-12 from deep. “That means he made every shot inside the arc!” Thanks arbitrary remark man! Enough with the quotes this morning JB… This game was virtually over the second Tyler Zeller lost the tip to Tyson Chandler (the ridiculous mismatch on the tip was a nice foreshadowing of the game…) and the Knicks embarrassed the Cavs about as bad as “The Decision.” But while Timmay(!) racked up some points in junk time, the Knicks have won four straight with him helping to stretch the floor. Of course no Iman Shumpert factors in, but there’s no way Coach Woody doesn’t have some morning woody seeing 4 straight wins – thanks to a lot less of Timmay(!) on the pine and more of him on… hardwood. So I think Hardaway Jr. is here to stay as a ThrAGNOF, which isn’t necessarily a derogatory term. Stream him when you can even in shallow leagues! Free points and threes! But not much else… Here’s what else I saw last night in a light slate of Thursday games:

I could tell what JB was thinking just from the look in his eyes, or what I could see of them, but he had to verbalize it, “Come on I really don’t want to do this.” I’m sure he didn’t but a lost bet has consequences. It was time to go play some 2-on-2 tournament basketball and he looked ready. He was carrying his basketball in one hand, his sandals in the other, and sporting a bright orange and pink spandex leotard, which can you believe has to be special ordered. I thought the big and tall store would have a couple to choose from but they don’t. Anyway where was I, oh yeah, and a matching blindfold with a couple tiny holes poked out. For safety. At this point there was no escaping our fate, JB knew that what he wanted was no longer relevant. When we finally arrived we were ready to ball. I knew we needed to make an impression so in a show of intimidation I threw my shirt off revealing my shiny black Tom Selleck-esque body fur, pulled my socks up high and tight, and mean mugged those fools as hard as I could.

The Bulls are a lot like the Tanner children. Whatever the hell the name of the youngest the Olsen Twins played is Derrick Rose – all sorts of famous but now all sorts of a mess. The middle one is Kirk Hinrich. Because as soon as he’s not on the Bulls anymore, he’s gonna become so irrelevant that even Tom Thibodeau will forget who he was the next season. Which leaves us with D.J. who is obviously – D.J. Augustin. I mean, Bob Saget should’ve just stopped at the first kid! Well I guess there’s still upside with the youngest one. This metaphor is tanking JB! I feel as if you readers are starting profanity-laced rants thus far. Just like Bob Saget’s stand-up “act”! Hey-oh! So Hinrich got hurt yet again last night, doing something to his hammy. It’s almost as if you can predict injuries! Part of my gravitation to D.J. was not only how well he was fitting with the team, but how brittle Captain Kirk is. I would make a Star Trek parallel, but it’s TNG or nothing, son! Besides, the TV show metaphors are a strong 0/1 this morning… Augustin is in line for huge run and in 37 minutes last night went 27/4/4 with 5 threes. I expect pretty high-teen scoring and 6-8 dimes a night with a couple of treys while Hinrich is out, then maintaining the starting role when Hinrich is back with minimal dropoff. More-or-less a must own in all leagues, and I’ve been Bull[hah!]ish on him all along. Hopefully you’ve scooped him up and held on to him. Here’s what else I saw in fantasy hoops on a busy day of MLK action:

If you have been stashing (or if you’re Grey, staching) Marc Gasol on your roster, you were feeling some Good Vibrations last night! Less because of the production, but more with the early arrival and fantasy goodness. And that good-ol Gasol Wildside. Now, I may be too young to remember Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but I am old enough to [barely] remember when Gasol went down that I said he was a hold in all formats. You may be saying “no duh!”, but he was dropped in several shallower leagues by those darned knee-jerkers. But as we talked about in the comments earlier this week, I see Gasol getting eased in and a tad rusty the first few games, but then back to a beast. 3-7 for 12/4/1 and 6-8 at the stripe last night. You’ll take that from a guy you’ve stashed! The Thunder tried to rough him up and it didn’t work. Only 24:12 on the court, but the one assist he had was vintage Gasol and should leave you feeling dandy from this point on. And props to Prodders for breaking the news and hopefully you got him in your line-up. Our comments save lives! New Razzball bumper sticker. Here’s what else I saw last night in Fantasy Hoops: