Dear Kids – Why Dating Your Spouse Is Good For the Kids

When Daddy and I go out for dates, it is good for our relationship. We need that time to reconnect and keep the romance alive. However, did you know that it is good for you guys too?

When we go out it shows you kids that our relationship is important to us, and that is good for you to see. You will someday conduct your relationships based on our example, so we want to make sure we set a good one. Dating is good for relationships – especially the married kind.

When we go out it shows you kids that we have lives outside of you. This is important to your self identity. Sorry, kids, but the world does not revolve around you. You have become the center of my life, but you are not my entire life. It is too much pressure for a little kid to feel like they are the only thing in their parents’ lives. It may make them feel important, but what an incredible load to bear.

When we go out it trains you kids to be without us. All kids have separation anxiety at some point in their lives. Its natural. When we go out and leave you with the grandparents or a sitter, we are teaching you that Mom and Dad sometimes leave, but it’s ok, we come back too. It’s important for us to repeat that lesson often so you can be comfortable with that.

When we go out it teaches you kids to respect other authority figures. When Mom and Dad leave someone else in charge, you need to respect their authority. If we get bad reports from babysitters, do you think you’ll be going on many play dates or overnights? I don’t think so. We need to know that you can behave even when we are not there.

When we go out it gives you kids an opportunity to have new experiences. We all act differently when Mom and Dad aren’t around. You may try something or learn something that we’d never thought of before. Once, Kitten, we picked you up from Grandma’s and you had learned how to count to five in Farsi. Buddy, you learned how to go down stairs at Grandpa’s. When you step outside the norm, you get new experiences.

When we go out it improves your self confidence. If Mom and Dad are alright, kids feel more confident in the world around them. That’s the long and short of it.

So, kids, when we go out, don’t barricade the door…we’re doing it for you! But mostly it’s for us…

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2 thoughts on “Dear Kids – Why Dating Your Spouse Is Good For the Kids”

I think you’re onto something here. When mom and dad go out, we display our relationship for the kids, and thats a good example for them see. But when mom and dad go out (and my wife and I don’t do it often enough) we find ourselves again. We remember the dance we did before having kids, the romance and the love comes out again after so many years of diapers and parent teacher conferences. And that is so important and so much appreciated by this dad, and I’m sure that feeling is universal!

I agree! Sometimes as Moms and Dads we get so caught up in schedules and logistics that we forget to step back and take a look at this awesome person we are in this with. It’s basic relationship maintenance that often gets labeled a ‘luxury’ and so gets postponed over and over again. Don’t feel guilty for making your relationship a priority. It’s good for the whole family!