There is a massive tailback on the M25 and a lorry driver caught up in it asks a man, who happens to be walking along the line of traffic, "what the hell is going on?"
The man replies, "haven"t you heard? Terrorists have captured the bus carrying the Millwall team and are threatening to torch the bus if their demands aren"t met. So I"ve organized a whip-round."
"How much is everyone giving?" askes the lorry driver.
"About a gallon each," replies the man.