A Finnish economist took one of those ridiculous worldwide penis studies that are always circulating and charted it against GDPs, to study that critical ratio between penis size and wealth. It's the classic golddigger's dilemma—are any of the rich ones worth fucking?—but on a global scale!

Just what we needed! A guide to finding the biggest dicks. Size queens, book your tickets to Congo…
Read more Read more

From 1960-1985, nations with smaller penises grew at a faster rate than their well-hung counterparts, the University of Helsinki's Tatu Westling found. Overall GDP was highest in nations with average penises and lowest in nations with outlier penises. In other words,

The size of male organ is found to have an inverse U-shaped relationship with the level of GDP in 1985.

With due reservations it is also found to be more important determinant of GDP growth than country's political regime type. Controlling for male organ slows convergence and mitigates the negative effect of population growth on economic development slightly. Although all evidence is suggestive at this stage, the 'male organ hypothesis' put forward here is robust to exhaustive set of controls and rests on surprisingly strong correlations.

Robust. Exhaustive. Sweet convergence and impressive growth. This study is just an elaborate set-up for penis puns, right? "It started as a half-serious attempt," Westling admits in an interview. "But frankly speaking I did not expect the correlations to be so robust."