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Church of England set to ordain first pedophile bishop

The Anglican church has announced they are to appoint Reverend Matthew Harlow, making him the first bishop to openly declare himself a pedophile.

In a historic day the Church of England affirmed their belief that pedophilia was not a mental illness but merely another form of human sexuality.

Harlow, 46, who has served in the Anglican community for over two decades has said he is relieved the wait is finally over exclaiming, “Today the church has embraced the full teachings of Christ and I for one couldn’t be happier.”

He reiterated his promise that he would not act on his urges by stressing, “I’m completely committed to celibacy and will refrain from entering into a relationship.”

The Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, said he had no doubts that the appointment was the right thing to do adding, “We are all God’s people regardless of sexual orientation.”

Supporters of Harlow have responded triumphantly to the decision with a spokesman for advocacy group NAMBLA proclaiming the appointment as a “positive step forward in the acceptance of pedophiles in all walks of life.”

The groundbreaking decision looks set to further divide the wider Christian church who have been traditionally split over the issue of pedophilia.