Spencer Hawes

In a matchup where they might’ve gone ahead and whipped em out to see who was bigger, this round went to Joel Embiid! The Sixers snapped the longest stretch of NBA games without back-to-back wins (108), by besting Hassan Whiteside and the Heat 101-94.

Look at Embiid flex those guns. So much man meat in the paint right there! Ok, I’m done with that, but it was awesome to see such prototypical, turn-back-the-clock big men face off against each other, with each being the current face of their respective franchise. Embiid had one of his best lines of the year, going 22/5/0/1/3 on 7-13 shooting, mainly highlighted by only one TO. He’s only had one game with 2 TO, and all the others 3+. On the flip side, Whiteside was a monster, going 32/13/0/0/2 on 13-19 shooting and hit 6 of his 8 FT. For the love of big man stats! Whiteside was 0-3 from the stripe in his previous game, so hopefully something has righted the ship there. Someone in the comments asked where Embiid might go in drafts next year, and I said 30-40 range. But at this rate, that might be too conservative! Let’s see him get through a full season first, and be sure none of that giant EMBIIIIIID gets hurt. I lied, I got one more in! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Coming off of Cleveland’s championship, LeBron James has led the Cavaliers to a 9-1 start. It looks like there hasn’t been a championship lay-off at all. James finished one rebound shy of a triple-double with 28 points, 14 assists, 9 rebounds. He’s off to an incredible start. He may be rested down the stretch, if the Cavs continue their winning ways, but for now enjoy the ride.

As I steadily stood fast next to Stephen Curry as my #1 player, I was reminded of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Friday night. With all that Lakers yellow and Curry missing all his treys, I was like “somehow that song Yellow, makes me want to pee! I think because when it’s over, it’s a big relief to me!”

This is why you don’t panic on shooters, even if they’re the most elite players in the land. Unlike your big man studs, they’re going to have more peaks and valleys. We didn’t really see much of that inconsistency last year, but we got about the most epic cold-then-hot consecutive games we’ve ever seen. After snapping his 3PTM streak at 157 games going 0-10 Friday, Curry comes out and BREAKS THE NBA RECORD FOR 3s LAST NIGHT! WTF IS THAT?!

46/5/5/2/0 on 16-26 shooting, including 13-17 from downtown. Crazy talk. Dudes in the 3-point contest don’t even shoot that well! And it’s almost kinda sad that the Warriors NEEDED that kind of output, only beating the lowly – now 0-7 – Pelicans by 10. Curry is suddenly at 47.7% from the field with 4.6 treys a game: my argument for him #1 – FG% mixed with league-best 3s. While the rest of his numbers are down a tiny bit, the last 3 games he’s at 7.7 AST and 2.0 STL. So those are coming around as well. I only had one RCL with a top-7 pick, thankfully in the Slim vs. JB League, where I was able to nab him #2 and I’m still thrilled about it. This game was a big relief to me too! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball:

Somewhere near the bottom of the NBA scoreboard on Feb. 6, 2016, fans saw what appeared to be a no-big-deal game: Sixers 103, Nets 98.

Yeah it was noteworthy because the Sixers actually won a game. It was only their eighth win all year, after all.

But the Nets are and always will be the Nets, and if Philadelphia is gonna beat anyone, it might as well be New Jersey.

Here’s how this game was different: Both Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel had good games on the same night … and both played together down the stretch … and the Sixers won.

Okafor scored 22 points and racked up a career-high 17 boards to go with a very uncharacteristic 3 blocks. Noel had 18 points on 8-11 shooting to go along with 4 boards and 3 blocks.

So why the breakthrough? There have been reports that new sheriff in town Jerry Colangelo has pushed the idea of having Okafor play more power forward, allowing Noel to go back to his natural position at center where he can play rim enforcer.

Another reason is the two big men are simply gelling, thanks to the fact that they’ve now played several games together with a playmaker, Ish Smith, at the helm. A young, inexperienced team without a playmaker is like a car riding on ice with bald tires. It just goes wherever, and more often than not it crashes and burns. With Ish in the fold, both Jah and Noel are getting alley-oops and nice dishes on dribble-drives.

PPPPPAAAANNNNTTTHHHHEEERRRRSSSS!!!!! Aight, aight, this is fantasy hoops, we’ll just leave it at that.

On Friday morning, the Clippers shed one of their % drain players, giving the DNP-king [another] fresh start in Houston. And what does Josh Smith do in his debut?! Goes all J Smoove like you’d expect! Goes 1-10 FG, 0-2 FT, for some reason took 4 treys and missed them all (what did you expect after bricking the first 3, Smoove?!), but still gets a rainbow line for 2/5/6/2/3. Oh yeah, 2 TO in there too. Smoove did bounce back last night after almost single-handedly costing the Rox a W in his debut, going 16/3/2/2/2 yesterday afternoon for back-to-back rainbows. He apparently stole someone else’s talent ala Space Jam alien, because he shot 6-14 FG, 2-2 FT, and had only 1 TO. “Talkin’ bout the Dream Team, we’re the Mean Team!” Josh Smith is not a good 9-cat fantasy asset in any league, and even in 8-cat, he’s probably not ownable in 12ers for me. That mean enough?! But the real criminal aspect of the acquisition is of course their absolute hatred for Terrence Jones. HE’S getting the full Mean Girls treatment – they’re feeding him Swedish weight gaining bars, JB Bickerstaff made out with his boyfriend, they’re turning his best friends against him… That organization is an institutional bully – culminating in a whopping 10 minutes of action last night with Dwight Howard (kankle) still out. I didn’t understand the McHale firing, I don’t understand this trade, I don’t understand the Ty Lawson signing… They’re taking this off the rails faster than Lindsay Lohan’s Prius! Or, well, Lawson’s Prius… Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, plus The 7 Ahead for Week 14:

Pressed into additional service with Nicolas Batum out sick, Jeremy Lin started for the Hornets last night and played like Linsanity was back in full effect. At 47 minutes of action, even a few cans of Dapper Dan wouldn’t keep the mohawk afloat! As the game pressed on, the spikes kept drooping like wet noodles. “Hey Jeremy, the trainer has a handful of Elmer’s Glue for you on the bench for a touch up!” I still can’t understand how he can play through a really sweaty game, and have it not feel like he just dunked his head in a pool full of Vaseline.

Whatever product he uses is just gonna ooze down his whole face! While looking like a melting wax statue, Lin went nuts for 35/5/3/0/2 on 13-22 FG (2-5 3PTM 7-9 FT). He was constantly attacking the rim and all over the defensive glass, really giving this starting opportunity 100%. Unfortunately there’s nothing too actionable with the strong performance, as Batum should be back soon after his rough Chipotle visit and Lin will be back to a swing man off the bench. If your streamed Lin then hat’s off to you (mainly because Lin can’t wear a hat), and it does let us know that if Batum should suffer a prolonged injury, you can feel pretty good calling Lin a must-add. You’d bust out your Ben Stiller hair gel, spike up your hair, and enjoy the ride! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

So, I married a Jew 11 years ago. I should elaborate, and let you know that she’s a woman, and more importantly, that I’m not jewish myself, so there is a blending in our house of different cultures and holidays, which is dope, IMO. We celebrated the first night of Chanukah (pronounced HHHHHHHHHHHa-nu-Kah. When you sound like you’re bringing up a goober, you’ve nailed it) last Sunday night, and my boys dug it. On Christmas Eve, we will get both our families together for a Christmicah dinner. But what does this have to do with fantasy basketball, Dan? Well, it doesn’t at all, but upon reflecting on the season, I realized that even though my elder son got clothes yesterday in an entirely anti-climactic fashion from his maternal grandparents, he should just suck it up and be thankful that at least they’re clothes that he would want to wear. What I’m saying, gentle reader, is that you should appreciate the gifts as they come, whether it’s what you wanted exactly or not, and re-gift away the excess junk. And in that spirit, I present to you some gift-ish fantasy players you should definitely be thankful to get, or get rid of:

On a weekend where elite guys did elite things – we got served more 40-burgers than a McDonalds – I’m going to open this Monday morning a little further down the bunnyhole. It may be “rabbit” hole, but it sounded dirtier my way…

When Al Jefferson went down with his calf strain (he’s still out at least another 1-2 weeks), I clowned the Hornets for their “three-headed” monster for C minutes. I joked it was a nice way of saying none were any good. Kinda like saying the “three-headed monster” of good M. Night Shyamalan movies. Especially Frank the Stank, as Michael Jordan’s never-ending conquest of building an NCAA dream team continues to keep the Charlotte franchise in the awful-to-mediocre range. At least Spencer Hawes looks OK out there, putting up decent lines in 20+ minutes the past two Hornets games. But watching the Hornets against the Bulls on Saturday – I was mad impressed by Cody Zeller. Took the lion’s share of PT playing 32 minutes, and went 17/8/2/1/1 on 6-10 FG (5-7 FT) with no TO. And it wasn’t a cupcake matchup either against Pau Gasol. Although Gasol wouldn’t get that joke, let’s say “it wasn’t a flan matchup.” Just at the eye level, he was cutting to the basket with great speed, finished strong at the rim with a few dunks, and took jumpers confidently. I think the Hornets wanted someone to step up with Big Al down, and they’ve found their guy. Now this would only be a medium-term pickup in 12ers, plus the schedule is going to be a crazy test. Hornets get DET, MIA then @MEM the next three, so Zeller is going to have to D up Andre Drummond, Hassan Whiteside, then Marc Gasol. Eesh. At least the Gasol one is more his player-type… And it’s not like Hawes or Frank Kaminsky is going to play any better against those beasts… So if you’re looking for a little help up front without the big blocks upside, Zeller is worth a look. Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, including The 7 Ahead for week 7:

Welcome back from Thanksgiving! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, with leftovers still to spare to get you through a full work-week back. I even bought a few extra boxes of stuffing since that ran out fast on T-giv day! Got two or three meals left to go… God I love Thanksgiving!

And while I added several inches to my waistline, Draymond Green has been stuffing his stats even more! Back-to-back tripdubs over the weekend for #OccupyDraymondGreen, going 14/10/10/1/2 then 13/11/12/1/4 on Friday and Saturday. The multi-cat phenom hit two treys as well on Friday – averaging a career-best 1.6 3PTM a game on the season – while his FG% has continued to climb all four seasons as a pro, up to 48.2% this year. It’s almost like the Warriors have good players or something! The only knock is his TO are up, but even in standard 9-cat he’s bringing back top-15 value on BBMonster and top-10 on Yahoo. I remain a little incredulous that a lot of people thought 2014-15 was a fluke (I guess?), and I had to defend a “high” rank a few times in the comments. So after this Thanksgiving weekend, I am thankful Dray is helping our Yahoo F&F team be decent this year and that rank is working out… Because trust me, a lot has gone wrong. Friggin’ Rubio… Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops, plus The 7 Ahead for week 6:

Pearls don’t lie on the seashore. If you want one, you must dive for it.

(Yep, I just dropped a Chinese proverb, so y’all know this article is about to go next level…)

I’ve always found it fun to read – and write – some of the more unconventional or against-the-grain prognostications for the upcoming fantasy basketball season, and it can be a gas to revisit them at various points throughout the year to see if they’re gaining any traction or skidding wildly off the road. It probably goes without saying, but the bolder (see: nuttier) the prediction, the less likely it is to bear fruit. So the intent here is to provide an unpopular – but not unrealistic – take on a player that may actually help you during your fantasy draft. You’re likely to disagree with most (they’d be the consensus if you didn’t) but if I can hit on one akin to last year’s “take a late-round swing at Rudy Gobert and hold him until starter minutes come available,” it can be a season defining gamble. So pick your favorite(s) and let’s go diving for pearls together! (Man, that is without a doubt the least cool analogy I’ve ever come up with. But it’s a call-back to the opening line which I thought was kinda clever, so I’m gonna own it.)

Prepare the hot takes cannon as we fire off 30 bold fantasy basketball predictions (one for each NBA team) for the 2015/2016 season: