Kanye West Fled The Country

[Ed. Note: Kanye didn’t take Kim with him, so I reused these pics because big, giant titties. My editorialmanship is sound. – SW]

So remember when Kanye West allegedly beat the shit out of some kid in a chiropractor’s office for supposedly calling Kim a nigger lover and video would surface completely vindicating him? Yeah, none of that happen, so he’s in Paris now. Radar reports:

Prosecutors are currently investigating West for felony assault and battery connected to the incident.
His criminal record, which includes a misdemeanor no contest plea to battery of a photographer in 2008, and a pending battery case stemming from an earlier altercation with a paparazzo, are “absolutely going to hurt him in the Beverly Hills Police Department’s investigation into his actions, a law enforcement source previously told RadarOnline.com. “No, this young man shouldn’t have said those disgusting things, but this is America … The fact that Kanye went on his own will into a place of business and got in someone’s face and allegedly hit him could result in him being charged with felony assault and/or battery. It will all depend on the severity of the injuries, and Kanye’s version of events, if he chooses to cooperate.”

Of course, that all precludes Kanye coming back to the States even though I’d bet money that this conversation’s already happening:

“Baby girl, I can never come back now. I’m a wanted man.”
“What are you talking about? We’re rich. We’re paying the kid off now.”
“Nah, nah, girl, I won’t subject you to the life. I couldn’t live with myself. I’m a criminal now. An outlaw.”
“The charges are being dropped. You’re not making any sense.”
“Tell North her daddy will always love her. Tell her- *to someone in background* Bitch, I’m on the phone! – Tell her this was the hardest decision of his- BITCH. Phone. Damn. – the hardest decision of his life.”
“Ohmygod, are you with someone?”
“Uh.. oh, shit, it’s a raid!” *click*