Mothering Depression!

New Years Eve 2015 last year was a dramatic day in which my child threatening to kill themselves and so starts it was pattern that was repeated at intervals through out the year .

So began a roller-coaster year where I discovered that I could not help or cure and unless someone wants to help themselves there is nothing you could do. I resisted antidepressants as I did not believe that they would help, I did what I thought would help, counsellors, healers, food supplements and lots more, nothing helped.

I was accused of not listening and not understanding, which was partly true, what I could not understand was that if you were miserable you do what it takes to make you happy ( it was what I did ) and that answer does not necessarily reside in one area only but in a combination and being open to try . It was the ‘I cant’ that I struggled with.

I could see how mothers could have broken hearts over their child’s struggle and feeling that inability to help. Along the way I learned something that I already know from personal experience that we are dis empowering our children by taking responsibility for their happiness and not teaching them the techniques to deal with life. We are so focused on education that we are missing out on teaching them to be happy with who they are regardless of their grades !

I learned the hard way about letting go that people need to help themselves and one of the hardest lessons is to take a step back and allow your child to make their own decisions and be responsible for their own life.

So that is what I did, I took a step back and allowed my child to decide what they wanted to do with their lives and supported them because it was not about me, it was their life and their choices! they are now in a better place and feeling happier about themselves than in the last couple of years. There is still some way to go but there light at the end of the tunnel which lifts my spirits!

So the year ended and as this is a New Year 2016 I took time to recover because the constant daily strain was a drain on my energy that has left me exhausted, I discovered stress fog where you don’t care about anyone or anything, and I knew that I needed to look after myself urgently, so I took time for myself ( realizing I had not a stretch of time off in 2 years) rested, took supplements, read, walked, went for energy treatments and chilled . It payed off I have now bounced back with a renewed lease of life a lot wiser and stronger after an amazingly challenging year with more insight feeling Wiser and Stronger!