A Writer's Take on Global and National Issues with Background Information and Humor As Needed

Marketing William and Kate

Posted on October 24, 2010

This weekend, William and Kate (you remember, he’s the son of Prince Charles and Diana and Kate is his long-time girlfriend), attended the wedding of a good friend. The Daily Mail pointed out the fact that Kate hadn’t been seen “in 104 days.” Oh, my has it been that long? You mean longer than, say, Lent? We can all relax because they are keeping tabs on her so we don’t have to.

She looked stunning as did he. It would not be otherwise because the selling of the Royals has begun again in earnest. First this week, there was the carefully released “rumor” that the Royal Mint were into designing a commemorative wedding medal. Now we enter the phase of selling the clothes on their backs. The Daily Mail photo above when seen on their page features a button on it upper left corner that reads “get the look.” If you run the cursor over it, there is a pop-up screen telling you exactly where to get some of what she is wearing. Strapped for cash, the Royals will be endorsing more not less of this as time passes.

The Daily Mail also points out that the dynamic duo have been living as man in wife in Wales for some time now as a kind of trial marriage. They have been going together 9 years. They are just past the old 7-year “ditch.” But is this kind of “arrangement” a true test? A “mock” trial isn’t a trial; “mock turtle” soup isn’t turtle.

Either you are or you are not married. In the final analysis, the living together part of it is a small part of the package. Whether you consider the “state” of marriage to be primarily one of religious orthodoxy, purely a legal matter or a minor detail, in the end, it does make things, well different. Circumstance colors all.

Next to Wikileaks of US military secret documents, the leak of closed circuit TV videos of William and Kate shopping for Pizza in the local markets in Wales have become a staple. These are the moments that give us pause to think: “Gee, they’re just like us. And they’re cohabiting before marriage like most of the world. We should all pay our taxes to support this.”

Hold the phone. The Queen is head of the church of England. Her son, Charles, was divorced, THEN widowed! He will one day be King of England (if Britain can afford it) and William, if he succeeds him, will be, like Queen Elizabeth, head of the Church of England. Do these boys measure up? Should anyone other than a man or woman of the cloth be head of a religious organization (SamH is a vhmember of the Anglican communion)? But that is another matter, eh? The point is that the Royals are causing more issues to be raised these days than they are promoting Britain in the press and in the hearts and minds of tourists.

So the bottom line is: William and Kate have to become icons if the monarchy is to survive all of the cutbacks and class warfare out there. As long as most people have jobs and visit the Magic Kingdom at Disney all will be well. But creeping Sharia and Socialism have no use for Royals. So as a witness to all that passes these days, best to stock up on commemorative coins, tea towels and scarves. The monarchy itself may be short-lived and if William and Kate have been properly marketed then the “stuff” you buy to mark their place in history should have some trade value in the future. Let’s all cheer for William and Kate and our mutual fate!

Afterword: I do have a tea towel from Charles and Diana’s wedding put by. Remember when Diana wanted to back out but one of her sisters admonished her “it’s too late. You’re picture is on the tea towels now.” Sad for Diana. Good news for collectors and sentimental slobs such as I.

Well now, William. Ask Kate to marry you soon, please. You need to get those rail thin legs of hers safely hidden under the soft folds of a floor-length wedding dress.