the bastard virus of unknown origin was not entirely successful. i still managed an early check in at the hotel. it was a big bottle of champagne. i had to pace myself and i needed all the extra time i could get before midnight. fun was had. food was eaten. the one i love and i toasted the new year from a corner room with a good view of the pedestrian movements on the icy streets below.

as the bars closed with the new year just barely here i watched, and from the safety of this room i witnessed all sort of drunken depravity. the first was an observant man who noticed that the sidewalks were slippery. upon making this discovery he promptly began to run. then choosing the only halfway dry patch of concrete with in 6 blocks he planted his feet, and tensed his body for a slide.

physics is a motherfucker. his shoes gripped the sidewalk, his momentum stopped at about knee level and he cartwheeled into a parked car.

directly across the street at exactly the same time another man disappeared into a store front alcove. he did not come out and may still be there resting now. recovering his strength too weak to face another year.

one door away on the corner stands a extremely low cut, short skirted young woman who is trying to use a cell phone, kick someone and yell obscenities at other passers by all at once. from what i saw she was 100% successful even though she fell 3 times.

my favorite came next. wearing a green party hat, and having the good sense not to commit too fully to either side of the street. his drunken stalking posture and the green party favor on his head gave him the appearance of an irish sasquach. he had an argument that very nearly came to blows with a small tree. i am happy to say that he won the yelling match and was clearly in the right.

moments later he ran out into traffic crossing the intersection diagonally. dodging and stiff arming moving vehicles like an NFL running back. his forward progress was stopped suddenly and completely by a parking meter that came out of nowhere and, put him down. but with the optimism that only a fresh year can inspire he picked himself up, spit on car that was in the process of being parallel parked, and ran off into the night.

as the church bells below ring for the hungover i have received word that the hero in the green hat married a stray feline he found on the way home, and is now landing in mexico city where he plans to live out the rest of his days in happiness on a diet of horchata, and vicodin.

now i will call the front desk, demand a late check out, and sleep. happy new year!