“Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” James 1:19, 20

5. Scolding

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such (a word) as is good for edification according to the need (of the moment), that it may give grace to those who hear” Ephesians 4:29

One of the Greek words from which the term scolding was derived, means “to snort with anger”.

6. Being Inconsistent with Discipline

“Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men among them are given fully to do evil” Eccl. 8:11

As a rule, it is better for one parent to tighten up a bit and the other to loosen up a little to unify their approach to discipline.

Children ought to know that their parents “yes” means “yes” and their “no” means “no”.

7. Having Double Standards

“The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you” Phil. 4:9

A parent who uses the Bible to teach, reprove, correct, and instruct his children in righteousness, but is not willing to practice that same biblical righteousness in his own life, is not only a hypocrite but a provoker of his children.

8. Being Legalistic

Biblically Directed Rules vs. Biblically Derived Rules

“These people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. But in vain do they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men” Matt. 15:8-9

9. Not Admitting You’re Wrong and Not Asking For Forgiveness

“If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering” Matt.5:23,24

“Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another…” James 5:16

10. Constantly Finding Fault

“Elihu’s anger…burned against Job…and his anger burned against his three Friends, because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job” Job 32:2, 3

“A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression” Proverbs 19:11

11. Parents Reversing God-Given Roles

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the

Head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything” Eph. 5:22-24

12. Not Listening to Your Child’s Opinion or Taking His or Her “Side of the Story” Seriously

“He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him” Prov. 18:3

“The first to plead his case seems just, until another comes and examines him” Prov. 18:17

13. Comparing Them to Others

“For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves, they are without understanding” 2 Cor. 10:12

14. Not Making Time “Just to Talk”

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak” James 1:19

“There is a time to keep silent, and a time to speak” Eccl. 3:7

15. Not Praising or Encouraging Your Child

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…, let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the day approaching” Heb. 10:24-25

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8 thoughts on “25 Ways to Provoke Your Children to Anger”

This is a great reference. We’re teaching a Bible study on Friday nights based on the book “Shepherding the Child’s Heart” by Tedd Tripp. It’s an excellent guide for parenting with the goal to lead your child to Christ.

Kelly, thanks for pointing that out. It doesn’t make sense outside the context of the book, so I can see how it was confusing. I removed that portion of #8 avoid confusion. I appreciate the feedback! 🙂

Hi Stephanie,
I have been working on a post about “provoking your children to anger” and did a quick google search and found your post on the same thing. Great post! I’m going to have to go through your blog and read the “oldies but goodies”.
Have a great day!