Plans for Fifty Shades Sex Hotel on Hold Because It's Too Close to a Chapel

Your inner goddess will have to get her jollies elsewhere.

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Would you stay in a Fifty Shades of Grey-themed hotel complete with BDSM sex dungeons straight out of Christian Grey's wildest fantasies? If you answered yes, too bad, because though developers have been working on one in Vilafranca, Spain, opening day has been postponed because locals are unhappy about the hotel's proximity to a chapel. Those people are, quite literally, boner killers.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the hotel was set to open Friday, but the Vilafranca town council says it's too close to the place where people worship the town's patron saint. The mayor has also put in a petition to stop the hotel's opening, saying the owner (who remains anonymous) doesn't have the necessary hotel and restaurant licenses. For his part, the owner finds the whole controversy oddly timed, as this is supposedly the first time anyone has complained about his plans. "With the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon in full swing," he explained, "I saw a business opportunity that hadn't been exploited yet in Spain." Uh, has this been exploited anywhere? Because if it doesn't work out in Spain, there's probably a vacant lot somewhere in Ohio with this guy's name on it.

But what makes this hotel Fifty Shades-themed, you ask? An excellent question, young Anastasia. According to Spanish paper The Local, (1) it's named after a chateau called Roissy, referenced in the 1954 erotic novel Story of O, (2) it has three private sex dungeons for you-know-what, plus one not-private dungeon for exhibitionists doing you-know-what, and (3) the owner says it's a place for guests to "enjoy games, flaunt themselves, and share experiences with other visitors." So there you have it. Go forth and be enlightened (if it ever opens).