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Society is broken. We've let the Masters of Mankind get their way for too long and you and I, and the billions like us, are getting fucked over, and will continue to be so. If only we could start all over again and have Noam Chomsky define the systems of society, the world would be a much better place.

I watched this because my wife wanted to see it, which, for starters, usually mean it's going to be shite. It tries to be much too clever for its own good and the constant back and forthing just did my fucking tits in. Emily Brunt is usually worth watching as well.

This is basically an alcoholic Denzel dishing out 50s ghetto speak to his nearest and dearest about how tough his life is. I managed an hour but turned it off when I realised it had another hour to go. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Like all the good war films, this has some brilliant battle scenes with all the blood, guts, gunfire and explosion that you'd expect. Although, that's the problem with all good war films isn't it? You know what you're getting and you're rarely surprised. This follows the same formula as the rest - with the usual pinch of AMERICAAAAH, FUCK YEAH - but it does it well.

When I was a kid I used to tell anyone who'd listen that when I grew up I just wanted to live in a single room that had a bed, a fridge, a microwave and a computer in it. My idea was that I'd just sit and play computer games all the time without having to work. Thankfully no-one told me about the benefits system or I'd probably have never gone back to school. The people in this film are living my dream, except it doesn't look all that much fun. I enjoyed it though; in the same way I'd enjoy a highlight reel of a long dead pet. It scored an 8/10 on the Wife Cryometer.

Tarantino is the king of dialogue. He always has been. He can make a bunch of girls sat around a table talking shit seem interesting. In fact, he does just that in Death Proof. This is another dialogue heavy film of his but it has enough suspense, mystery and action to actually deliver. It is on a long time so you may need an interlude or two. And, chances are, your girlfriend probably won't like it, so fuck her off for the night and get a pizza in. 14 inch meat feast; no fucking about.

Life really kicks some people right in the balls and relentlessly keeps on kicking, doesn't it? These sort of films are always worth watching because they remind you that your shit life isn't as shit as the lives of some. Casey Affleck play this part really well because it's the same fucking part he plays in every fucking film he's in. Same could be said of Michelle Williams really. Would have been nice if just one of the characters in this film had just a drop of personality.

This is yet another bleak English film about how life is shit and how it'd probably be better to just kill anyone you care about followed quickly by yourself. I appreciate what they were trying to achieve - the positions the characters find themselves in are far too common for a supposedly advanced society and it's good that it's been raised - but it wasn't done terribly well. Most of the actors couldn't act so the authenticity was largely lost on me, the main character mostly to blame.