In our last report we advised you that in order to secure energy independence for this country you should invade Canada.

We have noticed that the invasion is till in the pre-planning stages. Though we believe that it is imperative that the invasion take place as soon as possible, this does allow for an opportunity to add a second phase to the plan: The Invasion of Mexico.

With the addition of Mexico to the plan we believe the codename for the entire operation be dubbed Operation Total NAFTA, a final act in the play started by the 41st President. Other possible names were: operation "Spanish American War Part Dos" but that left Canada out where as operation "Clean the Attic" only works for Canada and not Mexico.

But enough of this clerical mumbo jumbo sir, I'm going to cut to the quick; Mexico is warm in the winter and the Northern USA is not. Because of that warmth Mexicans do not have to pay for heat (the fact that even if they had to they would not be able to is irrelevant) Americans in northern latitudes unfortunately have to. But by invading Mexico we could create a winter quarters of sorts for all Americans who are forced to heat their homes every year.

Of course in the summer months we would relocate the population back to the northern part of the country (and move the southern part of the country to Canada to save on air conditioning costs). Think of all of this as a mass vacation of sorts to escape the cold (and subsequently the heat).

As for the transportation we figured you can just nationalize the Airline industry a few times a year, I mean they would be more than happy to give up their profits to help America, I'm sure of it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Maduekwe still visible shaken after his meeting with Secretary Clinton

Thanks to the blog Madam Secretary I know (whether I should or should not) exactly what Hillary Clinton is doing at all times. Moments ago she was in a meeting with Ojo Maduekwe, minister of foreign affairs of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. As it happens I was in that same room and here is what transcribed.

Hillary Clinton: Your honor it is a pleasure to finally meet you, you do not know how long I have waited to meet you.

Ojo Maduekwe: (slightly confused) The honor is mine madam, we the people of Nigeria are ecstatic, great word I just learned madam, that you would take an intrest in the oil wars we have been having in the Delta.

HC: Actually your honor this is a matter of personal business, not state business. (instructs everyone to leave the room)

OM: (now terrified, starts looking around the room for the assasin) Madam your husband never had sex with her I.....

HC: (Cutting in) It's about a man from your country named Prince Abdul Mukar who made my campaign a promise that in return for a small fee of $11 million that he needed to properly move his family into exile he would return me a sum of 10x that amount before the end of the US primary season. We have yet to recieve that payment.