Month: May 2016

There are 6 critical aspects of personality which every individual needs to analyze and review. One may be extremely efficient in the work, highly qualified, good at application of mind and yet he/she may miss out on some crucial issues that concern life.

Communication Skills: These skills are very important and often undermined and ignored. Speech and written communication are the vehicles of our expression. If we have great thoughts but we cannot express these effectively, the process affects our self confidence. Likewise in the negotiations even though we may be right, have all necessary information, great arguments, yet if our verbal communication skills are in any way lacking; we miss out on opportunities.

Interpersonal Skills: Interpersonal skills refer to our ability to connect with other people. It refers to our competence to influence people around us at the work place or at home for the desired results. Intentions are indeed important. But if our communication does not reflect and establish our intention, the goodness is wasted. Associated with it is your reliability. And also, how you conduct yourself and your behavior.

Leadership Skills: Even if you don’t have a single follower, you still are a leader. You lead yourself. That is extremely important. Like a good leader if you analyze your strengths and weaknesses, if you make best use of time, if you are self aware, and if you take care of mental or physical health, nothing will stop you from leading yourself and others very efficiently. In the present competitive environment the leadership skills have assumed even greater importance.

Assertiveness: Assertiveness is not aggression though it is often confused with aggression. It represents your talent to be able to say ‘no’ when you want to say ‘no’. Often times it seems that because of various considerations and because of fear that we may offend others, even when we don’t want to say ‘yes’ we do so. It puts us to lot of difficulties. At other times we have to face problems with members of our family and friends. How to say ‘no’ without offending the other person is nothing short of an art. It is to be developed. It is to be continuously mastered. This art requires cordiality in your tone, coordination between the mind and the speech and active listening. The proficiency in language is also very important to create proper impression.

Body language, Grooming and Image management: Body language may be considered as a part of your communication skills but it is also a part of your physical personality. Positive body language means that you stand comfortably on your feet. Straight but never stooping even a little or bringing out your chest. Wearing a slight smile on your face with a relaxed look of peace, would add to the physical personality. Grooming is also important. What to wear when to wear indeed makes a difference. Of late quite a bit of emphasis is also put on image management. What is image management? It is the impression which you create on people when you meet them first time. It is said that the 15 seconds make a lasting impact. It may be debatable. However image management has become an important aspect of one’s personality.

Time Management: Last but not the least; you need to be a very efficient manager of your time. This great resource is equally distributed to all of us. Our productivity and growth depends among other things on its use. In order to check where we lose time or do not manage effectively, we must make a ‘Time Log’ for 2 to 3 days. ‘Time Log’ is a list of details of your activities routine, small or big on daily basis. You can identify then where you can save time or be more efficient. Besides, we need to focus on what we do. Prioritizing is also important. Above all, discipline must be maintained which means you do things which need to be done at a particular time even if you don’t like it.

I do not claim that the above that 6 aspects comprise the total personality. However these are the main areas which should be reviewed periodically. Life is extremely interesting when we are self aware, when we know ‘what we are’, when we realize our objectives and keep on working to achieve these bit by bit.

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Humour these days is a vanishing talent. It’s just right that everyone should like to develop a good sense of humour. Benefits are immense, some of these are listed below:

Humour generates respect. When you say something with a good sense of humour, audience doesn’t give their casual attention but tend to listen to you wholeheartedly. Because it is interesting and it lightens their mood.

Humour appeals to the listeners and whatever may be the subject if the same is interspersed with light hearted examples, it is appreciated. Even if the audience is not very receptive for the speech which is being made, the moment humour is introduced effectively the scene changes.

During a speech there could be many references to obscure things. Things which can be difficult to understand. Humour makes these very simple and the complicated issues are resolved. Serious issues may sometimes be interspersed with humorous one-liners. After all we know that even Shakespeare while writing his great tragedies introduced the character known as ‘Shakespearean fool’ who provided the comic relief.

Humour helps audience to remember the points you have made in your speech. These may be arranged in manners which depict a natural flow.

When the tension is running high humour helps to release the tension. It changes the mood and the atmosphere and the issues can be discussed at length without heated arguments.

Humour is also very helpful in defusing the opponent’s ammunition. But humour is not everybody’s cup of tea. People who come to the negotiating table are often induced by their strong desire to win. They expect you to be as hard heating as themselves. Humour surprises them.

Funny though it may seem, humour motivates and it can also inspire the team members. However humour has to be used in a masterly fashion.

Last but not the least humour is helpful in getting you the desire results. While projecting your arguments in a light hearted manner, you are able to keep your objective in view. Discussion takes place in good humour.

Therefore, we must do all we can to develop a good sense of humour. I am giving below 6 simple steps which can help you to develop sense of good humour. Often time’s people think is very difficult; they don’t even try. If the attitude is negative no doubt the problem becomes difficult. In such a situation once you fail, the negativity in your mind is reinforced. So while making efforts to develop a good sense of humour you must be prepared to deal with it as an important project. This should be pursued till completion and surprising there won’t be any end. Like any other talent humour unfolds and evolves.

The following are the six simple steps. I have enumerated these as answers to your possible expression of inability to handle humour.

Step 1. You might say that you can’t do comedy. But you can definitely do if you so desire. In any case you are not carrying out the comedy show. Just as golf is difficult humour appears to be difficult.

Step 2. You may also say that ‘you can’t tell a joke’. Such a feeling in fact lowers your self esteem. Because you find there are, within your circle, lots of people who can tell a joke effectively. You are not telling only jokes but you are using relevant joke to reinforce the points which you have propounded.

Step 3. Further, you might come with an argument that ‘you never remember jokes’. So what? You don’t practice to remember arguments in any negotiation. All that you do is to go through the points relevant to the issues which you want to resolve. Your mind works and you are able to make convincing arguments. Likewise whenever the situation demands your mind will work and put the light on the lighter site of the situation. And that is significant that you know.

Step 4. You might also say that every time you try to be funny you miserably fail. If you have failed during your earlier attempts, no one can change the history. However if you decide not to fail you won’t. The great pianist Victor Borge was once asked by an interviewer if he had played piano all his life. Quick answer was, “certainly not. I am not dead yet.”

Step 5. Humour is powerful. Electricity is also powerful and so is fire or any other source of energy. They all can do harm. Humour in speech when used to bring down the opponent can also be extremely dangerous. About the tongue, it is said that God has made it so strong that it never falls ill. And if it does, it heals itself very fast. But the wounds the tongue creates in the minds of people attacked may not heal in the lifetime. So, one has to be extremely careful in using humour.

Step 6. Lastly, one must accept that humour is not easy. It has to be developed and practiced bit by bit. You have to practice to such an extent that humour starts flowing naturally, and entertains the audience. Regarding the difficulties I might say that if you have to write 10 comic one liners; you may have to first write 200 to bring out the really 10 good ones.