We’re driving to NJ+Brooklyn for a wedding, after which Corey and I will return to the ‘burgh and Miles will stay with his grandparents, to be delivered home April 5.

I have so many feelings about this! For starters, I’m fantasizing about all the sleep I’m going to attempt (let’s face it–nobody sleeps well this pregnant). I’m also fantasizing about real dates with my husband, dates that aren’t tainted by concerns about the sitter or worries we’ll get held up or bedtime won’t go well. I mean, our kid will be hundreds of miles away. If bedtime doesn’t go well, there’s nothing I can do but eat more mussels.

I’m going to go to work as early as I want. I might even get to my office at 5am to grade papers. I can do that! I won’t have to drop anybody off at the sitter. Then, I can leave work at 2pm and get my haircut on the way home. Or just sit on a bench. I freaking love starting work early in the day and finishing early in the afternoon. I’d totally work 7-3 if I had a regular job and that were an option.

I plan to not cook a single meal while Miles is gone, which is odd because I love cooking and crave uninterrupted time in the kitchen. But the thought of 3 dinner dates in one week? I mean, we haven’t done that since our honeymoon. And breakfast doesn’t count as cooking, plus I’m going to buy PEANUT BUTTER to eat while my allergic son is away, so PB&J for lunch is about as sexy as my imagination can get.

So yeah, there’s the part of me fantasizing about the luxurious days with nobody chanting, “Mommy! Mommy? Mom? Mom! Mom! MOMMY! MOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!” or needing me to wipe his ass. That part sounds so nice.

But I love the heck out of that little squirrel. Who will wake me up at 6am with delicious non-sequiturs like, “Hey, Mom? There’s a turd in my bottom.” Or maybe, “Can I have the baking powder? I really need it.”

Who will kiss me and lick my arm? Who will applaud when I walk in the door from work? Who will help me grease up my belly so it doesn’t itch? Share my cereal with me? Put my deodorant on me while I floss? Watch me poop and narrate for me? I’m just going to miss him so much.

When we went to Colorado for our college roommate’s wedding in September, Miles stayed with my parents. I would say we spent equal amounts of time enjoying ourselves and missing Miles. Corey and I woke up each morning to look at pictures and videos of him on our phones, imitating his silly sayings, and talking about how much we wanted to hug him.

Perhaps because I was newly pregnant and really couldn’t do much in Crested Butte (everything from high-altitude hiking to hot tubbing to microbrew imbibing was out of the question), I missed Miles more because I was also missing out on the activity around me? Who knows. But pretty much the happiest moment of my life was our reunion at 3am.

He was still awake! And singing “Puff the Magic Dragon!” And all three of us slept and snuggled in one bed and it was just the very bestest of best moments.

That wedding trip and my conference when he was 8 months old (during which I was away from him for exactly 72 hours) are the only overnights I’ve done without my son. Four consecutive nights away from him and 3 entire 24-hr periods of not seeing him = a very big deal for this mama.

If we lived closer to our families and an overnight with Ninny or Mom-mom just meant an overnight, I’d be over the moon about some adult time. It’s the long periods of time away from my bairn that get me all worked up.

I know he’ll have a great time and be in great hands. There are, after all, penguins at Mom-mom and Peppy’s zoo. Plus grandparents are more lenient about things like television and iPhone usage. But he’s my baby! And I only have about 7 more weeks to be the parent of just one child.