[Previous entry] It seemed too good to believe: shortly after the pertuzumab started pumping through my system on Monday, I could feel the tumor shrinking. Really? you say. I’d be dubious, too. Maybe it wasn’t shrinking yet, but it started feeling tingly? less achy? like an angel wing brushing over my jaw? However I describe it Read More

[Previous entry] Although the first few days after my diagnosis were the longest, most horrific time of my life, it’s hard to believe that merely one month has passed since we learned the news. It’s excellent how quickly they moved once they found out, and I think they might have moved even more quickly if Read More

Previous entry The Zoloft seems to be working now. Sometimes I’m actually, well, happy. I look around the living room. My beautiful Calliope is jumping up and down in her Jolly Jumper, with her one-tooth grin. My adorable Phoenix is cooing and babbling a story to the room with her big, pretty eyes wide and sparkling. Read More

Previous entry Saturday morning, Kevin gets a call from the hospital at 8:45 a.m. for me to come in for a 10 a.m. MRI. He’s started asking all the doctors and specialists to call him instead of me. This is good because of my stupid phone call anxiety. Plus I get all mixed up when Read More

Previous entry Calliope sleeps poorly the night before my big Friday appointment in the local hospital’s cancer center. Her bottom right tooth is out, and all her gums seem sensitive. She’s also scratching like mad, even though we’re slathering her with eczema cream after every nap and sometimes in between. We got some new gunk, Read More

Previous entry I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning to see the oncologist at Lakeridge. The word “oncologist” doesn’t strike fear into my heart as much as it once did. After all, they’re the superhero doctors that are going to fight this thing with me. The panic attacks are fading–perhaps it was withdrawal from Read More

Previous entry After the initial “you’re not going to die” high, my brain kicks into overdrive. I start analyzing everything Dr. Warr said. Was he lying to me? When we were ready to leave, he asked me to fill out a patient feedback form. I mean, that would be absurd, telling a patient a bunch Read More

Previous entry Wednesday isn’t without its good moments, though. After we get back to Oshawa from downtown, Kevin and I visit Dr. Daria. She sees us immediately once again. I almost feel guilty–I’ve called the number several times over the past few weeks, and they’re booking routine visits for the second week of December. But Read More

Previous entry I take a sleeping pill the night before the visit with the Head and Neck radiologist/oncologist at Princess Margaret. I get the best sleep I’ve gotten since I was pregnant with the twins. Neither of them wake up during the night, so I didn’t even feel guilty foisting them onto Kevin. Calliope has Read More

Previous entry Note to my followers: I’m perpetually behind on this blog because it takes emotional energy I don’t always have to write these entries. I thought I was going to get caught up on the blog at some point, but now I’m feeling guilty for being behind and knowing people are waiting for updates. Read More