I really liked the every line but the first. I may be a little biased; after reading many poems, words like 'darling,' 'babe,' 'hon,' and the like become trite. Sweetheart seems a little too soft, even if it's meant to be euphemistic. That aside, I just don't see connection to the other saying, so it is hard to see the wit. It's almost vague, to me.

[Maybe you know something I don't, and I'm missing your point altogether?]

First of all, thank you very much for your review. Indeed, that poem didn't work out as well with rhythm. It's not always so! But thank you again for the criticism; much appreciated.

Yes, it is quite a brutal poem! I think it only works in its interest. As your previous reviewer mentioned, it gives an welcome edge to the whole thing. The brevity of the poem also works in its advantage. All in all, I enjoyed reading this. Good work.

Made me roll my eyes (in a good way!) at its honesty. The edginess is so common nowadays, it's hard not to let it become trite, but there's an anecdote lurking beneath those four lines that rescues it from poem-purgatory.