Carcinogenic Goodness

Better when I'm not twitching. Someday I'll quit smoking. Quit drinking and doing drugs. That's the first step. Oh wait, the first step is to admit that you're powerless. Oh well.

Sometimes I think you shouldn't post deep felt nastiness on live journal. Then again, you get feedback from numerous people and start to feel like you're not that bad. Thanks everybody.

Still alive and kicking. Will go out dancing tonight at the Vogue after playing a little pool at the Mercury. Although since I haven't been crying all day I don't know that I'll be playing all that fabulously.

Mmmph...

I'll give the St. John's Wort a little time to work. Try to stay occupied until then. I can only deal with my personal demons so much. Food is cooking.

The mentor loaned me a book called Fermata by Nicholson Baker. He says it's of the erotic type that I might enjoy. After I read that I should hit the used book store and try to get a hold of some more Henry Miller. The haphazard rambling style and the simple joys contained therein make me happy. Even if he's kind of a misogynist. In some ways so am I but only against the women embodying everything I hate about the female stereotype. The female friends I have don't really do this. There's a type I used to refer to as "Poodle Girls". The ones that never try to break out of the shopping, man-worshipping, gotta find a mate now, jealous, gossiping, victim-perpetuating, I-make-less-money-than-your-average-man-for-a-reason, Ally McBeal watching, sex-is-bad-and-should-be-used-as-a-commodity stereotype.

Sometimes I think you shouldn't post deep felt nastiness on live journal.

It's not so bad, as long as you are sure to not ever date any of the people who read your journal in the future. I have tried it twice, and I can assure you that it leads to nothing but ruin. Then, you will have to create friend groups for your journal, or perhaps even have a second account, in order to have your own virtual private space. Bleh!