Abby: Father's oddball behavior cries out for treatment

Father's behavior cries out for treatment

ABBY, Universal Press Syndicate

Published
6:30 am CST, Friday, December 3, 2010

Dear Abby:

My boyfriend's father is very odd socially. If there is a line, he will unknowingly cross it. He has no sense of what is appropriate when it comes to personal space, and his only friends are teenagers. His wife and two grown children are constantly upset with his bizarre behavior, but dare not bring it up with him for fear of hurting his feelings.

As a health-care worker, I suspect he has Asperger's syndrome, for which behavioral treatment is available. Must I "just ignore" this man's odd conduct as well? Or should I speak with my boyfriend about my suspicions in order to get his father help?

NEW DOCTORin New England

Dear New Doctor:

Of course you should discuss this with your boyfriend. To do so would be a kindness. Whether his father is open to therapy is not assured — but if he's intelligent, he must be aware that he doesn't fit in with his contemporaries, and he may accept help if it is offered.

Dear Abby:

As we head toward Christmas, would you remind people to please treat others as they, themselves, would want to be treated?

I work in retail, and it's amazing how many customers are rude. They don't acknowledge us, they'll talk on their cell phone throughout transactions and become angry at us if something beyond our control goes wrong. If we were to treat them this way, they would surely file a complaint against us.

Abby, can you remind folks to remember what the reason for the season is, and to act toward others with kindness, patience and respect - no matter what?

MINDFULin Fairbanks

Dear Mindful:

There is something about Christmas that can turn the most angelic individuals into gremlins. And that "something" is the pressure to buy, buy, buy - accumulating debt that can't be repaid for months or even longer. Add to that, no place to park and long lines in understaffed malls, and the "joy" of the season can curdle into frustration.

But readers, please hang onto your tempers even if those around you are losing theirs. The folks behind the counters are people, too, and they feel as pressured if not more so - than you.