Johanne's Journal, 05 January 2012

OMG! What a horrid morning. My weigh-in was a total shocker. I feel like I'm starting from scratch. My weight was static for so long and now it's climbing at a phenomenal rate.

I'm soooooo sick! I can't breath and bending over or turning to fast makes me almost pass out . . . VERTOGO!

I have a very sick kitty who is throwing up all over the house (including my bed last night . . . eeeeeew!) He wants to be held constantly and keeps throwing all 20 lbs of himself at me. I can't explain to him that he can't sit on my chest because I already can't breath. I've never had a cat before that wants attention when they're sick. They usually hide and don't want to be messed with.

After just a few days inattention, the house is a disaster. It was already a disaster but I've been working at it a little each day. It's amazing how fast it can deteriorate in such a short time. It's like weight. Unless you are conscious of it and work at it constantly, it's so hard to get under control and so easy to lose control.

If any of you took the time to read this, I'm so sorry I'm such a downer today. I just want to cry. As I write this, Velcro is once again trying to climb into my arms. I can't remember ever owning such a huge cat . . . and he's not fat, all muscle.

I'm going to go try to get my coffee down and try to pull myself together. This weigh-in just seems to have caused a cascade of emotion.

220.0 lb
Lost so far: 59.0 lb.
Still to go: 20.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.

Being sick is no fun... I'm down myself. I hope you feel better soon, my friend. I keep trying to keep up here on FS, but I just don't have the energy. I felt like you needed a pat on the back though. :)

Hope you feel better soon; be kind to yourself. Yes your weight is up, but you are sick and some of it could be fluid. You can't do much about it while you are sick, or about cleaning up the house. Rest, drink lots of fluid and give you and Velcro (love the name) some TLC.

Oh and Bonnie, if that weight doesn't start to go the other way and quickly, please go to the doctor...since you have CF, you need to make sure it isn't fluid building up around your heart! Love you, sweet lady! <3<3<3

Jo its the meds your taking causing you to retain water..clam down and
take a breath...and go to the doctor if it persists..Hope you and Velcro are feeling better soon....Love and Hugs..honey...:O) P.S keep us posted...

Stef, you're such a darling. My Velcro seems to be doing better, and that's a relief. If things don't clear up soon, I will go to the Dr. They aren't getting worse at this point. My oxygen saturation is still above 90% so I'm not too worried at this point. My ankles aren't too swollen, so I don't think the fluid is something to worry about yet. I'll keep you posted. Love you lots!!!

Bren, thanks so much. I can't take a deep breath. LOL! But I've calmed down. It was just so awful to see that 2nd huge gain in two weeks. I know it won't stay there, but . . . . . . . . . . . Anyway, thank you so much for the hugs (I really need them) and I love you back!

Di, I don't plan on going anywhere. If I ever got up to my former weight, I think it would, literally, kill me. I really don't think my body could handle it anymore. Thanks for the encouragement and Hugs!

Ruby, I called yesterday. The Dr. said I was already doing everything they could do for me there. I'm doing breathing treatments, zinc, fluids, etc. They said if my oxygen saturation levels dropped below 90%, my ankles started to swell badly or my fever got worse, to go to the emergency room. Thanks for the love. I love you back!