This is Anna (Lara Everly), the smart one.
In the movie, the most famous actress in it will play her.

This is Blake (Franci Montgomery), the edgy one. You can
tell she's edgy
'cause she's got pink streaks in her hair... and ARM SOCKS!
But by the end,
you'll find out that she just wants to be loved. The adult
version of her
in the movie will be played by a former washed-up sex symbol.

This is Carmen (Jenelle Riley), the ethnic one - you can tell by
her dark hair
and kinda tanned skin. She only speaks in an accent during
scenes featuring
her wacky immigrant family. She'll be played by a famous
Hollywood lesbian.

= cough = This is Kristen (Julia Griswold), the one who's
obviously gonna die. = cough =
She won't be played by anybody in the movie because... well,
duh.

Papa (Eric Johnson), Carmen's wacky immigrant dad.

Carmen meets her dad's new busboy, Jim (Tanner Thomason),
who is "instantly the most infuriating man I've ever met!"
They will, of course, become lovers despite her dad's
opposition.

Lewis (Sean Sweeney), Blake's asexual best friend since
childhood,
pines for her and writes poetry for her, but...

...she only has eyes for bad boy D (Michael Holmes).

Anna is sexually harassed by her new boss, Mr. Servo (Scott
Leggett), who wants her to play
with his 18-inch hard drive. And when he says "hard
drive," he's talkin' about... y'know... sodomy.