There are so many pieces and so many thoughts that make up who I am. Pieces of Me explores the questions, vulnerability, connection and adventures that tell my story. Everyone has a journey, this one is mine.

My cousins and I, we are The Kinnie Club. While we may all be individual squares that make up the crazy old crochet quilt we call our family – made from mismatched colours and left over balls of wool – we are still just one big quilt. This is the place where I share our stories of tradition, celebration, connection and love.

The conversations over coffee that have filled my life with memories and with lessons are conversations that I want to share with you. On the last Tuesday of each month, Conversations over Coffee will open up as a blog link-up, open to all who would like to join. Each month a theme will be set and the only request is that your post be connected to that theme.

Conversations with Belief

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

“How is the book coming along?” she asked.

“I’m slowly falling in love with it.”

There is a difference between the things we know and the things we believe.

The things we know can be black and white, matter of fact. The things we believe often live in a world of grey. Our instinct, our common sense tells us to rely only on the things we know. Follow them like a set of rules. Our instinct and common sense caution us against the things we believe.

Until the heart steps in. That is when sometimes what we believe in can change and they become the things we know with absolute certainty.

Change comes with consequence. Change comes with risk. Change, especially as we get older in life, becomes something for the young, the carefree. Change is not for the ones who juggle commitments and responsibility. Until something you believe in becomes something you know. That is when you can’t ignore it anymore.

Over the past year I have been juggling the consequences of change, or at least potential change. It has been months of listening to an internal conversation going over and over on itself. And over the last few weeks I think I have come to a new place. A quiet place. A place where only the things I believe in exist.

Part of me knows that I have believed in this new chapter all of my life. A voice I ignored and defeated with reason and logic. I don’t know what the future holds, or even what the consequence of this change will bring. But I can’t be true to myself if I don’t finally follow what I believe.

I wonder how many of us are in this exact same boat? Following the reason and logic. Knowing that being stubborn to commitments and responsibility no matter the cost to our mental health, our emotional health is what is right. But what if it is wrong?

What if the whole point to our very existence has nothing to do with the commitments and responsibility we think are so very right? What if the job, the relationship, the career, the responsibility and commitments we have been steadfast in knowing are right, are actually not? What if following what we believe in, abandoning the rules, will set us free in ways we cannot even imagine?

I’m not saying that abundant change is the answer for everyone. I can hardly commit to this being the answer for myself. But sometimes it is an answer we can no longer ignore.

Nothing is ever absolute. Perhaps that is the part we fall down in the most. Sometimes it is about changing what we know. In ways we have closed our eyes to believing.

What do you believe in?

This is the last #convocoffee for 2016
November is a huge month for us and December is always crazy
#convocoffee will be back in 2017 when the New Year has settled in

I tend to resist change unless it is something I have decided on. I am learning to embrace change in any of the forms it presents itself. Not the easiest of challenges, but one I am happy to strive for.

This post is so timely – I taught a lesson on decisions and change and I learned all kinds of new things about how we make decisions and feel about change. I am such a lover of status quo and not fond of change. Sometimes change comes without a choice and I’ve learned that embracing it rather than resisting it is the way to go. I’m excited for you and your change, I think the best kinds of change are like yours, when it comes right from your heart x

Love this. Especially that the things we believe live in a world of grey! Grey is where all the possibility and learning live xx

Vanessa Connor

You’re a clever thing. This is very profound for my tiny little head…

“What if the whole point to our very existence has nothing to do with the commitments and responsibility we think are so very right? What if the job, the relationship, the career, the responsibility and commitments we have been steadfast in knowing are right, are actually not? What if following what we believe in, abandoning the rules, will set us free in ways we cannot even imagine?”

I used to be horribly resistant to change for so long. I would dig my heels in, kick, scream and do anything to keep it at bay. And then one day, I was so broken that I knew change was the only answer. Since that very day, my relationship with change has grown and evolved to a beautiful place where I know embrace change. Change has brought such clarity and many new opportunities, and I now understand that change equals growth. Lovely, thought provoking post Josefa. xx

I think change always brims with excitement and possibility at the start and then the fear kicks in once we are truly committed. And then we ease into peace again once we realise the decision was right.

I think I’m slowly getting there… weeding out the things I think I should do for the things I believe… Great post.

TeganMC

My partner and I were talking about something similar last night. We were talking about the misconception that happiness is a destination, that once you get there, there’s no more work to be done. I think change is good, but sometimes we have to take a step back and make sure we’re doing it for the right reasons.

I actually thrive on change, I feel stagnant when things stay the same for too long. But sometimes I feel like something needs to change simply for change’s sake, and that’s not necessarily a good thing either.
#teamIBOT

This is such a big question: “What do you believe?” It’s so easy to focus on the demands of ‘now’ and loose sight of what is truely important…. and worthy of your time and energy. Remembering the bigger picture. I am a Christian, so for me, I believe in an all knowing God, that loves me deeply and has a plan for my life that is good. Wonderful even. And my goal is to work that out and focus on those things. I do a crap job of this sometimes when the here and now gets overwhelming, distracting and tiring. Thanks for the reminder to keep perspective!