It could be one of the other 69 (/snicker) Mages on my Mage blog roll… more maybe the other dozen that I have been too busy to add.

It could have been Larisa.. after all, she is a respected blogger… she’s a blogging Mage, if not a Mage Blogger… well she is that, was that, her earlier posts go very close to theorycraft, but really, like all Mages she has grown beyond the numbers, the rotations, the…

you’re a noob if you don’t do x

She is not just intelligent, she is sophisticated.

Alright.. she’s HAWT! (but maybe only a Gnome can appreciate that!)

More to the point, maybe only Mages can appreciate that.. you see there are some very important differences between Hunters and Mages and this is very apparent in the bloggers that write about them

We is Smart, they is dumb!

Well, of course intelligence is relative.. sure I can’t pull an engine apart (well, I’m sure I can pull it apart.. putting it back together…), and I sure as hell don’t know the spots that fleas like to hide on a smelly, wet wolf pet.. I guess that’s kinda intelligence.. kinda maybe…

But they need all those tech schools… they need 45 different bloggers that they can spend 10 weeks with while they learn how to turn auto attack on (WHAT? It’s on by default! there’s your mistake right there!).

They could go to one Mage blog.. maybe even two, even if the second one was misleading.. but that would be information overload… that would be like telling them you can put two bullets in the gun at the same time, only to see them try to stuff the 2nd right in there after the 1st..

Maybe if I use a hammer… a big hammer…

Even BRK mentioned in the podcast that all will be revealed in Cataclysm…

Hunters don’t just feign death… they feign smart and this will be revealed when Blizzard strips them of their feign-mana-bar.

Mages don’t need to be educated – we just know!

You can’t play a Mage unless you are smart, you die, repeatedly, time after time…

then you reach level 2…

unless you are smart enough to be a Mage.. then you don’t die until the Huntard beside you feigns after pulling aggro…

… but I just read about feign death here on page 4,386 of Huntarding for Dummies!.

When a Mage asks another Mage…

How do you Mage?

The other Mage will reply.

Sort your basic rotations, then flow with the music. You will know what to do when the time comes!

Does the newbie Mage need more information to pull Aggro?

Hell NO!

We are power.. we are MAGES!

Huntarding is a science, Maging is an ART

Hunters need their 45 blogger instruction book. Without it, they would be left with an Ikea table and 4 spare screws..

Efficient.. maybe..

Likely to fall apart under the slightest bit of stress, definitely… it also gets expensive using all that tape to hold it together long enough to avoid a wipe.

Whereas, you can’t teach a Mage how to Mage.

Sure you can teach them not to pick their nose while unleashing a Pyroblast, but the thing about Maging is… we ween the hunters out in the first 20 levels… 10 for most of them when they discover there is no auto-fireball

(yes it takes them 10 levels.. like it takes these 1337 hunter’s 10 levels to learn how not to kill their future companions… then another level to learn how to feed them, if ever.. you know some Hunters just tame new ones every time the previous one deserts them!).

It’s like saying Gnome engineering is a science… it’s not, it’s an art. You can do it or you can’t.

Yes, Mages only NEED to press 1-3 buttons…

Good Mages KNOW how to press them all, and when, and against who, and what will happen (well we all know what will happen… we’ve all visited the spirit healer courtesy of a Mage before right?).

We don’t NEED to press them, we WANT to press them.

You don’t get a symphony with 3 instruments, you get it with an orchestra.

We Mages make beautiful music with our magic. It’s not something you can learn from a blog. It’s something we are born with, then grow into while waltzing through the hordes with Fire, Ice and Arcane.

It is true that most Mage bloggers started their Mage Blogging adventures because of the apparent lack of, well, Mage Blogs.

Yet, that is the first test on the trial of power.

You need to seek knowledge, not just grab the well thumbed copy of Field & Scream off the nearest shelf of the nearest convenience store.

Quite simply, if you can’t find more than 2 Mage blogs, you are not worthy of finding more than 2 Mage blogs.

Yes, even the new Mage bloggers discover this.. wielding their level 1 Mage blogging skills they start to build their tower of words, only to discover they are not alone, but held in high esteem by the rest of us for rising to the challenge.

… and they are short…

Umm what is that word that modern society uses to describe short people…

I’m sure it isn’t Gnome!

Hunters blog to save the inept, we blog to share the fun

Nearly every Mage blog you encounter will have a theorycraft post, maybe even two or 3.

Often there will be a prepatch post about our new superpowers.

We don’t need any more.

We can’t teach what we do.

What we can do, is:

Share the joy, the joy of destruction, the joy of death… other people’s deaths.

We can share the joy of a slow fall, a polymorph, a blink.

We can share the joy of victory against the odds

We can share the joy of learning a new composition, one that will sooth the savage beast (err. death is classified as soothed is it not?) or rock the house down.

We can share the inspiration

For truly, being a Mage is being inspired…

Being a Mage blogger is being inspiring…

The award to the most misleading Mage blogger goes too…

Larisa and I knocked up a couple of theory craft posts a while back for a returning Mage Blogger that has become so engrossed in his arcane studies that he hasn’t come down from his tower to answer the door bell.

So, just to set the record straight, over the next couple of days, I will unleash the mighty power of Mage theorycraft from a Gnome’s perspective.. two Gnomes to be precise.

Gnomer and Out!

PS: Thanks to all the crew at Hunting Party Podcast and BRK as well for giving us a laugh during episode 34 (Episode 35 is about PvP Hunters… you know /autoattack /afk)… I know it was in good humor and, just in case you missed it, so is this post (ha.. got ya! if you do it twice you are a a hunter… kk?). I hate to admit it, but it was good to hear the BigPinkDressWearingKitty’s voice… I hope I inject half that joy for WoW into my posts.. I know I feel it, and it’s great to hear it reflected in someone else’s!

PPS: Thanks to Larisa for getting me to use my newly reestablished internet quota to download and share in the laugh (I had to wade through an hour of boring Hunter stuff to get there though… errr… jk!)

PPPS: Thanks to complete strangers Wordpain, for lending me the robe and Alfas for joining me in a bit of Gnome Mage Dress-wearing-Dorf-Hunter silliness

PPPPS: I got BRKBarbie to level 2 through.. can you guess… umm yeah.. /AFK auto-attack.. good to know some things haven’t changed… and they think this stuff is hard?

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18 Responses

If this post is the grand entrance to making this blog into a Huntard Post Mecca, we’ll contribute a sawbuck, foshizzle! ‘Cause frankly, it’s pretty tough wading through the misinformation, half-truths, and outright lies that accompany the “Mage is as Mage Does” squishy handbook.”

Ya know how I played a Hunter for the past year? Think I can safely say it’s a class anyone could pick up, in fact I don’t have a clue how Hunters manage to do less than 2k dps because it is SUCH an easy class to pick up and play. Lots of buttons? Pfft! Put them in order of priority and go with it ;)

I dis a Goofle search for the keywords, “Last 2 Mage blogs in existance”. You were number 23 on the list. I’m not sure if that makes you one of the last 2. I’ll have to keep crunching numbers to see where my math went wrong. I hope you make number 2 soon :P