“I was, point blank, just drinking too much,” the Sports Illustrated stunner told Cosmopolitan. “I got used to being in hair and makeup and having a glass of wine. Then that glass of wine would carry over into me having one before the awards show. And then a bunch at the awards show. And then I felt bad for making kind of an ass of myself to people that I really respected. And that feeling, there’s just nothing like that. You feel horrible. It’s not a good look for me, for [husband] John [Legend], for anybody.”

The 31-year-old acknowledged that she “can’t have just one drink” and that alcohol abuse runs in her family. Furthermore, regarding taking medications for postpartum depression and anxiety, she noted, “alcohol is like the least thing that helps.”

She also highlighted the free booze often afforded to celebrities.

“Imagine everything we have,” Teigen, who has been a spokesperson for Smirnoff and Captain Morgan, lamented. “Everything is there, always. I don’t know how to go to an awards show and not drink.”

The model also said that cutting back was her decision and that there wasn’t any sort of intervention involved.

“Nobody really brought it up to me. They just assumed that it was OK because I always felt OK the next morning,” she said. “I knew in my heart it wasn’t right. It makes you very short with people. People think it’s cutesy and fun to go on these boozy brunches, but there’s more to it. I’ve never once been like, ‘I’m sure glad I had that boozy brunch!'”

“I used to think it was kind of nutty to have to go totally sober, but now I get it,” she added. “I don’t want to be that person. … I have to fix myself.”

Teigen first got a taste of the “really, really wonderful” sober life while on a wellness retreat with her mother in Bali, where she worked out, ate healthier and didn’t drink a drop of booze the whole time. “I would wake up feeling amazing,” she said. “My skin felt amazing. I was just so happy.”

An additional motivation for the model to sober up, aside from her glowing complexion: She and Legend, 38, want to expand their family. The stars are already parents to 1-year-old daughter Luna.

“We’re going to try to have a child [soon],” said Teigen, who’s been open about her fertility struggles and postpartum depression. “This is for us to try to get in the zone of, ‘Let’s travel, let’s be away together, let’s see our closest friends,’ and then we’re going to have to do something super hard, which is the IVF process, all over again.”