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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Working mom

Before I had my oldest son back in 2006, I had no clue what life was like for a working mom. I was in college and worked a few jobs. I thought I was busy and hardworking. Then I became a mom. Holy shit I didn't know what exhaustion was until I spent the entire day and night with a crying infant. But, as time went on; I started getting in a routine and just like any other job I started figuring it out. Just in time for maternity leave to end. Now, I have never been the stay at home mom kind of gal. I don't say that in a negative way AT ALL. Being a stay at home mom is an incredibly hard job and one I could never do. But, I'm going to take the hit and say it... being a working mom is the hardest job ever. Life is chaos as a working mom.

Before kids, it was work and come home to prank around the house until bed and back to work. Oh hell no, now once you leave job number 1, your next shift kicks in. It's time to be chauffeur, cook, maid, entertainer, and the million other duties we have as moms. There is no relaxing and "getting off work", ha! Your paying job is sometimes a day off from the chaos at home! The time you "relax" at night is the hour or two you have once the kids are in bed which winds up being you falling asleep sitting up on the couch.

Once I was used to the constant exhaustion, I noticed when I started back to work how different I was treated. I'm a mom. Taking sick days to stay home with a sick kid or requesting a day off to take my kiddo to their dentist appointment is how life is for a working mom. Would you like to take my kid to have a tooth pulled at the dentist? Good luck! You will sit through an hour of screams and more negotiations than a hostage situation. I think I would rather sit through a full day of work place safety training than to sit through a dentist appointment with my youngest son. But, for a working mom it isn't optional.

This is not 1940, a lot of women are moms and they do have jobs outside the home. We are sort of bad ass like that. Being a mother is not a weakness of ours, it's a strength. Mothers are some of the toughest people you will ever encounter. We take care of everyone and still manage to get to work on time in heels with coffee in hand. So, I beg you, stop asking if a woman is capable of fulfilling the position because she has two kids at home. If you wouldn't ask a man that question you don't need to ask a woman that question. Let me see any of my male counterparts do half of what I do in a day and still have time to train for a marathon... not happening. It's sad that we are still living in a society where women are not seen as equal. I have been asked in interviews for new positions and raises whether I would be able to fulfill the duties of the new position with two kids at home. That's just wrong. The fact that I sit in front of you in an interview with my shit together, my research done and looking damn professional should vouch for my ability to fulfill my duties, not the fact that my kid may have a fever at some point and I take a sick day. I guarantee you I will take care of my sick kid, show up to work (probably sick, because we always end up with what they get) and still have my work done while people who have no excuse stay behind on work. You can't imagine how much harder we have to work to be seen as equal as a male co-worker or someone who doesn't have young kids.

So, working moms... I salute you all!

I know your struggles. I know how hard it is to climb the ladder and be taken seriously in a career who considers motherhood a black mark. We are tough sons a bitches and we are raising kids who are going to know they are loved and come first. They are going to remember how hard their mom worked and how they were taken care of. They won't know the guilt we have when we can't be there for every party at school, you are doing your best to balance a life most will never know. Keep doing what your doing and take some time every once in a while to pamper your bad ass self... you earn it every day!