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Oops. We are “those” neighbors.

Hi. My name is Lacey. And I have a toilet on my front porch. I can’t believe we are those neighbors. But seriously, there’s no where else to put it! Here’s the back story…

Last Saturday, Jeff said, “We will be ready for that toilet soon.” I had been reminding him (probably to the point of nagging) to let me know when he would need the toilet because I didn’t want my lack of purchase to slow down any progress toward getting all three fixtures installed in the downstairs bathroom. How heavenly it will be to have a shower, sink, and toilet all in the same room! Not to mention a bathroom door! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves folks…we’re talking plumbing fixtures here.

We are only buying the essentials.

So on Sunday, Ben and I trekked to Menards with a list that included the new toilet I had been scoping out for a few weeks. At $98 it is a real steal with an oblong seat and dual flush technology. It also ranks a 10 on the flush power rating, but that’s probably TMI. We grabbed a flatbed cart and decided to start with the toilet. And there were none. The shelf where it should be was completely empty. And, according to the kid I asked, the other two stores in our area were sold out, as well. “Can I buy the display?” I asked. The look he gave me said it all. Turns out he was the one who installed all those display toilets on shelves about six feet up a few weeks ago when the store’s plan-o-gram changed. And now I was asking him to disassemble his hard work. And carry my toilet down a ladder while I carefully watched his every move. But he was a good sport and very well balanced on that ladder.

With no box to be found, another guy shrink-wrapped the pieces individually and then wrapped them together so they wouldn’t be damaged on the trip home. And with our shrink-wrapped toilet safely on the flat-bed cart, we continued to shop for all manner of things: the hardware for the screen doors Ben plans to build (the flies are getting thick), moving blankets (always handy, especially when you’re driving a toilet without a box home in the back of a rusty pick up), a tarp (more on that below), and a king-size bug zapper (between the biting flies and the mosquitoes, I’m a welped mess covered in Benadryl cream).

We did a have a good laugh in the parking lot and on the way home about “the essentials” in the back of the truck and what the folks driving alongside us must be thinking.

When Ben got this baby out of the box to hook it up, he said, “This is gonna be better than TV.”

One of our essentials was a large canvas tarp. For a mere $65, Ben is adding on a roof on our back porch! Yup, we are those neighbors on the front porch and the back.

You don’t need me to explain this one. Scroll and enjoy the process!

Ta-da!! Our temporary back patio! But wait, it’s not done yet! The plan is to knock off the railing to the right of the back door. We will lay palettes across the ground and top those with redwood decking Ben’s dad brought to us a few weeks ago. This way, we will be able to exit the back door, step down onto the redwood, and walk straight to our outdoor kitchen (the grill is currently our only cooking device besides a slow cooker and, at this moment, we exit the back door, go down the stairs on left the side of the house and walk around the porch perimeter to the grill. Not a big deal, but the new set-up will be a timesaver and better in inclement weather). Stay tuned for more images for when the temporary deck extension is complete. Coming soon! And temporary because once the house is re-sided, a entirely new deck will be built.

You may have noticed that we also created a dining table. Nothing fancy, but we didn’t have any place to sit down together except on the back deck. And then we were balancing plates on our laps or on the deck railing. I suggested adding a scrap of plywood on top of Milly’s crate. Ben had the brilliant idea to wrap the plywood in our red-and-white laminated camping table cloth. And luckily he knew exactly where to find it!

Here’s Milly’s room. She gets shade from the tarp but even more from the tabletop.

So there you go. We now have a covered back porch (soon to be expanded), a dining table (gotta love multipurpose furniture), and a shrink-wrapped toilet on the front porch. Thank goodness our neighbors aren’t really close-by enough to notice that it has been there for almost a week.