Just Checking In. – by Killeen

It’s been just over a month since my last post, so here’s my attempt to keep the momentum going.

Summer has that nature of being busy, even when it seems like we’ve avoided making very many plans. Parenthood continues to present me with new challenges and new rewards. There are some moments when, as only a parent could truly understand, one asks herself, “Why, exactly did I want kids??? Why did I happily give up my sane, single lifestyle for a constant stream of chaos, mess, neediness (and laundry)?” Of course, those parents also understand how absolutely flooring it is to watch their children develop a sense of the world, a sense of self, and even a sense of humor. Zinnia tells jokes now- and THAT is worth all the mess in the universe to me.

It’s those times when Zin and I share a laugh that I know it’s not insane to be adopting kiddo #2. Yes, I look at the mom in the grocery store with the tantrum-throwing toddler and the crying, car-seat-laden infant and know that despite all my delusional confidence that I will NEVER be THAT mom… it’s inevitable. I’m about to have my world rocked. I think my time with Patrick is scarce now, but just wait… right? Regardless of all that fear, and all those moments of “can I really do this?”, Acacia will one day need me as much as Zinnia does. And, Zinnia will continue to need me, too. And, I will find a way to make it all work, because what choice to I otherwise have?

I’m an only child, and so is Patrick. And while I had the constant reassurance as a kid that brothers and sisters were the worst, it’s in my adult life that I feel very empty for not having a sibling bond. Not even an in-law sibling bond. I cannot wait to see Zinnia meet her sister for the first time. She might not have the reaction I am idealistically envisioning, but to me, it will be really, really beautiful.

That moment is my motivation right now. Path to Acacia, in the sense of the business, is 9.00 away from hitting the $500 mark for sales. However, after a HUGE surge of orders at work (thank you!) including a bridesmaid order (double thank you!)… I’m left asking, “What now?”

I work for a retail company, so I know that July is a very, very low-spending month. But, the blooms must go on. To counter my own busy schedule I’ve generalized my postings on Path to Acacia’s webpage. Barrettes have proved to be the most popular item in the last 2 months, and pretty much everyone that’s ordered has picked a color, and told me to roll with it. In other words, people are more excited about wearing their flowers for Acacia than they are concerned about whether that flower is a daisy or a pansy or a dahlia. This lackadaisical attitude towards the purchase has proved to me that instead of posting each flower exactly as it exists, I can give a general idea of what the product is, and the customer will trust me to deliver something desirable.

It’s been a long week, and after a few rewarded cocktails, I think I might be past the rambling stage. So before I get too sappy, or too personal, I will summarize:

Parenting is the hardest, and best thing I’ve ever experienced… and I can’t wait for Acacia to get here.

Etsy site (the Path to Acacia website) is under a new format, barrette wise. I have 5 different color palettes posted- check it out, and share with your friends, please!

One last thing, and probably the most important thing to any of you that read this (and if you made it this far, gold star to you)…. We had our fingerprinting appt. a few weeks ago. Our dossier (fancy term for the NOVEL of paperwork that we must compile and send to our adoption agency) is complete once we get a mere few documents in the mail from Central Immigration Services. We are SO close to being on that waiting list. Right now, we’ve got about 50 people ahead of us in “line.” Adoptions are happening at a rate of between 0-10 per month, I’d say. So, there’s no telling how long we’ll wait, but the first step is being able to “wait” at all. 🙂