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When I wrote this post, I had been blogging for five days. In that time frame, I had written more in a non-professional manner (school included) than I have in *gasp* my entire life. As a result, I had spoken to 6 people that I hadn’t heard from in at least 2 years, had views from readers in 10 different countries and received both positive notes and healthy criticism.

It was a weird experience. Obviously, nothing I was doing was particularly mind-blowing or even new for that matter. I was just simply, “doing.” This is when I began realizing, that putting yourself out there, is the first step in beginning to get things in return (new relationships, differing viewpoints, etc.)

I am admittedly, not a solid writer. My mechanics are sub-par, I use parentheses in places where I’m not sure how to punctuate, and I am certainly not the most knowledgeable person on fitness, nutrition, or mindfulness. BUT, I had an urge to express myself in writing, just as everyone has an urge that they continue to suppress. I just happened to have waited over a decade to pull the trigger.

Dumb.

Each time I’ve been ready to hit the ‘publish’ button on a new post, time slows down as if I’m watching a car crash. Will there be a cacophony, or a quick slam of the breaks and a beep of the horn? Performance anxiety knows no bounds. Will I connect with people? My goal is to motivate, make people chuckle (not a full lolz, more like a smirk with an accidental air exit from the mouth), and help ignite a flame of knowledge and inspiration. Will this post do that? Are my content ideas common knowledge? Read, re-read, bounce an idea off someone, go to the gym and come back. Re-read again. Will I reach those goals?

Then the truth hit me. None of these questions matter. Insecurity and self-doubt are worthless.

Throw them away.

Are you going to look awkward when you trip over a step-up at the bar this weekend? Yes. Will being embarrassed make it any better? No. Will you stutter a little bit during your end of the week presentation at work? Yes, yes you will. Probably four times. Will being anxious about it beforehand help to increase your potential public speaking suavity? Absolutely not. In fact, plan on increasing your stutter rate to 6 if you think about it in advance.

Everyone has something in their life that they’re “going to start soon.” “Yea, yea I’ve been looking into it…” No, no you haven’t. “Looking into it” isn’t even real. It’s your conscious mind suppressing your subconscious urges to do more, be better, be healthier, be more active, lose weight, read more, write more, be more conscious, see the world, be…awake.

Rarely has a philosopher so articulately expressed the damage, and more importantly, the potential energy that can be released if you finally drop those insecurities as Walter White does below:

In case the video doesn’t work:“I have spent my whole life scared – frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. What I came to realize is that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.”

Do something new while erasing your future worries and past embarrassments. Ask out the cute girl in the elevator. Tell the guy at the bar you like his musk. (That’s what you all do, right?) Sign up for that class you know you’ll look awkward in. (Am I wearing the right kind of pants?? Oh GOD, everyone’s wearing shorts!?!) Erase the doubt before you do absolutely anything. It will fill your experience with clarity. The results of stepping past “just looking into it” will surprise you. Allow yourself the opportunity to judge what you do, not by how you thought it would be, but by how it actually is.