Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Why do we want the arrangement to be over?

That's an interesting question. That question makes a few assumptions that some of us have never bought. First, it assumes that this relationship between Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban is a legitimate marriage. Yes, it is legal, although no marriage certificate has ever been published. But, is it a marriage like actual non-celebrities have? No. Not really. They may live together and appear in public as married, but is that more about appearance and what that means in celebrity culture as opposed to day to day marriage? Yes. This relationship has never been normal, even by Hollywood standards. There is something that is just off about these two. Maybe it is their lack of physical sexual chemistry? Keith Urban is a very sensual person. You meet him or go see the shows and you see that. You don't see that with his wife and you never have. Public displays of affection are awkward and you can't just blame Kidman for that. When she was with her one true love she was very demonstrative, very physical, very much in love. So, why not with Keith?

We also have to wonder why they treat each other as if they were adolescents. We know that Kidman appears to have some difficulty speaking coherently, but Keith "acts" as if he has never been in a mature relationship before. His public persona is weakened, he sounds stupid, and he is not. This in turn affects his work and that is the number one reason we would like to see this business arrangement end.

Those of us who have been fans of Keith Urban for more than a few years know what he is capable of; he wasn't an orb who just put out vanilla songs with vanilla lyrics. He had the potential to take Country Music to new areas; worldwide acceptance and he had the songs and stage persona to do it. The future was wide open. We also know how hard he struggled to get there and some of what he had to do. Many of us realized it took a toll on him, but he was so very close in 2004 to becoming a big player and for those of us who went to the shows and bought the records and requested the songs there was a sense we were helping him. You can understand with all the struggle that he went through why a puffy media romance with a Hollywood actress would appeal to him. Instant fame fast. But what price did he pay?

While many of us have been fans for a long time and knew he had a private life and private struggles we didn't know everything nor did we want to. I really didn't need to know that he liked to bathe his lovers or feed them candy in bed. We didn't want to know or speculate about his drug use. But with Kidman we got to learn everything. Did that help him or hurt him? It hurt him. If you wondered the cost he paid for this high profile relationship it comes down to two words: Betty Ford.

We also look at how awful some of the work is; Keith dedicating everything he lives and breathes to Kidman takes away from the music itself. For instance he has given the kiss of death to his latest single, Only You Can Love Me This Way, by saying it’s for Kidman. By associating it with her, he takes the meaning away from the listener; and if you don't like Kidman, well, the song is ruined. That is what has happened for the last four years. This is why we say 'shut up and sing' Keith. That is why we praise him when she isn't mentioned and he puts on a good show, and it is why we can't wait to see this farce of a relationship end.

52 comments:

As I mentioned a few threads back, their defenders take it as almost a personal affront when they are criticised. And so the "how dare you "hope" or "wish" their marriage fails!?" I "expect" their marriage to fail because i really believe it was a simple marriage of convienence for kidman when she needed it. Cruise hooked up with katie holmes in their whirlwind romance...suddenly they were engaged...and then holmes was pregnant...all within months. And suddenly kidman had latched onto cletus...after he notoriously hadnt called her back 3 to 4 months after they first met... just as cruise and holmes hooked up. Although it took kidman a couple of years to match tomkat and have a kid. And I've always believed once kidman saw that thier "marriage" would do nothing for her career...or for that matter having a baby... the pr marriage would fail.

Why do you have to be so COLD? I personally pull for marriages to make it, not against them. Hey when all is said & done the careers for both of them will end one day & they will have only each other & believe it or not that is more important. By the way this marriage was in the Catholic Church which I am sure she takes pretty seriously. So she doesn't hang all over him in public, SO WHAT. Each couple shows love in their own way. They might just very well value their privacy & show their love in private not for the world to see---nothing wrong with that. The few times they have been affectionate in public it's picked thru & torn apart & scruntinized within an inch of its life. Don't blame them for being more private. Nicole & Keith are in their 40's. When she was with the "other guy" she was much younger. They have a more mature relationship.

Keith is so talented it would take a whole heck of a lot to make his career go away. Thinking his marriage will do that doesn't show very much support for this talented, masterful musician. Whether you like her or not Keith does, he chose her. Saying this is all PR only is so wrong.

It's their marriage---different as it may be to us---we aren't included. THEY ARE A FAMILY and we should support them. I'd much rather see Keith happily married & being a happy father then dwelling deeper into alcohol & drugs and even ending up 6 feet under ground from it.

He was criticized when he went down the wrong road. He's criticized when he straightens his life out & finds someone & starts a family. Just support him if you're a fan. Is that so hard?

His music can stand on it's own. His talent won't fade away. It's the real thing. No body can be 100% all the time.

Keith will continue & will reach new heights with his music. I for one will be a fan thru the thick & thin & will continue to follow his career. Wishing Keith and his the very best now & always.

hoosierlady said..."Damn it, McLen, what part of the above quote of myself from a few threads back could possibly be interpreted as a personal afront?Pull whatever quote from that thread and tell me what part of it I was taking personally.None of the NK/KU show is personal."

Ok, here's a few...

Anna's blog was always amusing, but the other blogs have been nothing but the pick NK apart show, which is ok, but it only lasts so long until it turns into a high school cheerleader pick them all apart chat, as is this new blog, which is just a little too much, don't ya think? So she wears the same clothes to events two years apart. She recycles. What's the problem with that?"

At any rate, she manipulates the press, no kidding. They do photo ops out the wazoo, no sh*t. One more time with feeling, everyone. . ."

That's why I tune in. Never dreamed anyone was taking any of this seriously.

Sorry hoosier, but those quotes to me reveal someone who is taking all this very very serious...your growing exasperation...the frustration...you seem be be actually "emotionally unhinged" that someone would criticize kidman for wearing the same outfit two years apart? Really? I mean, what if it was the same outfit only two months apart? Would that at least soothe your exasperation! The point is, you seem to me to be willfully wrapping yourself into an emotional "straightjacket" over all this.

Ok, Maclen, you are right. I have come unglued emotionally about fake people putting on a show.

I am completely beside myself about people I do not know, will never meet, have absolutely no personal interest in.

I sit in front of this screen for hours on end finding facts about "stars" that bear no actual relevance to anyone's day to day, they are, in fact, there for my amusement and entertainment, not for my enlightenment or edification.

Then, when I have new tidbits of fact or rumor, I hurry hurry to report, (and subsiquently berate) everyone who gets anywhere near me, with my stunniningly enormous vocabulary, never trying even for a moment to fully understand or consider anyone elses point of view. On the occassion that someone, who is in full agreement with most of what I say disagrees with details, I lash out, pulling in personality, and personal barbs at that individual until I feel they have been properly chastised.

I think she's fake, I think he's mediocre at best, I think they both get what they deserve Maclen. But, I think they are married, and I think they are happy, and I think it will last as long as they want it to.

Some points to clear up1. They were married by a Catholic Priest NOT in the church. There was no mass Keith has never converted and as far as we know Sunday was never baptized as Catholic- Kidman is a very weak Catholic.

2. I can't find any article where Keith Urban was criticized for talking about his drug abuse. Many praised him for being honest.

3. What isn't being understood about why the relationship is wrong? I think the blog and the writer summed it up pretty well?

you paint such an ugly picture of ku, which begs the question: why do you care what some contract signing, sperm donating, career derailing famewhore does or doesn't do? the fact that you're still obsessing over these two after four years defies logic. by the way, ku was an addict long before nk came along. so who gets the blame for his first stint in rehab? i think the obvious choice here is laura. if that doesn't do it for you, there's always nashville.

I think you have hit it spot on UM! I am an Urban fan (but not a blind follower) and NO, I don't like NK and never have (even long before KU was a glimmer in her eye). That being said, you are always going to have KU fans that don't want to face the truth or reality that someone they admire so much would be deceitful and heaven forbid, enter into a contractual marriage! Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for hitting the nail on the head dead on for the mindset of quite a few readers (me, for one). Hope to read more articles of this nature in the future...and yes, as long as KU continues to make stupid comments at shows regarding NK, he and he ALONE are the blame for keeping his career from soaring. He's got the talent no doubt, but bless his heart just not the common sense sometimes.

Isn't Keith Urban to blame for being an addict. Not Nashville not Laura not even Kidman. No one held a gun to the genius head and said here snort this- he did that all on his own.Apparently he told the crowd last night that he hurt his shoulder- too bad but if his back is an example he will be cured soon.

yes, tara. if the skeptics must lay blame (and that's the gist of this entire blog), i believe it lies with ku. he's a big boy, but as someone pointed out above, there are always those fans who can't face facts. they make excuses for ku and poke fun at nk fans for doing the same. they say their biggest gripe is that nk is a fraud and a liar. well, according to them, ku is in a contractual marriage. who's the fraud and the liar now? the double standards are laughable!

hoosierlady said..."Ok, Maclen, you are right. I have come unglued emotionally about fake people putting on a show. I am completely beside myself about people I do not know, will never meet, have absolutely no personal interest in."

Yeah, as I stated, hoosier, I understand that reaction...and I realize it's a normal reaction. Your feeling very good about the orb right now, so you feel protective. But what I've noticed of some of the commenters who've posted here, some come to berate us "cynics" with the attitude of "your just negative and miserable people" and "they are so important and so successful they dont even care what a bunch of nobodies like you think about them anyway!"...to which I say, if they truly believe that, that kidman and cletus dont care what we think, why do they feel the need to come on here and respond to this...because...as I stated, they come in here and respond for themselves...they take it all personally as an insult to them. And as I say, I understand it, but of course I dont agree with it!

Tara said..."Isn't Keith Urban to blame for being an addict. Not Nashville not Laura not even Kidman. No one held a gun to the genius head and said here snort this- he did that all on his own."

Yeah your right Tara, which makes the orb's need to give kidman the credit for his "recovery" dangerous...what happens if kidman decides to dump the orb...which I fully expect to occur at some point...does it blow his recovery? If he no longer has that "crutch' will he relapse? Yes, they always say you do it for yourself...not your wife...your kids because the reality is they may not always be around to keep them in check.

Tara is right, joy. Nicole is hardly serious about the Church or her religion. She did a fine job of shacking up with a non-observant Protestant for months before indulging in a highly publicized church wedding. Keith has not converted and hasn't announced plans to do so. (He did study for his yachting license, though, does that count?) She rarely goes to services. Nicole promised a baptism for Sunday by Christmas '07. Still undone by today's date. So I'm not buying the "she is serious about her religion" bit.

All she wanted to do was get married in a church in order to upstage TomKat and give lie to any Scientology rumors. A proper church wedding was just what her image needed because she'd taken a hit by dating Kravitz, Q-Tip, Bing, onward, onward, ad nauseum.

You said, "He's already gone beyond what many thought he could and would."

Right. And now that poor bastard has up and shot himself in the foot by associating too many of his songs with her. It's gone on for three records now, and I'm tired of the constant genuflecting at the Alter of Kidman. "Thank You" has got to be the pinnacle of public groveling. As if she alone is responsible for his recovery and he's nowhere in the equation.

Yeah, as I stated, hoosier, I understand that reaction...and I realize it's a normal reaction. Your feeling very good about the orb right now, so you feel protective.

But this is where we differ, my friend, Maclen. . . . .

I feel nothing but the ever so occasional lust for cletus, NOTHING.

Kidman, however, is a source of endless amazement to me. On second thought, perhaps cletus is thought of, but not felt for, you with me? As sort of an appendix to Kidman, as a bunyon. Or a third nipple.

This woman defies my grey matter. I am completely blown away by her PR antics, if she ever runs out of money, (which should be any day now, as soon as they release the newest indie film, (can you give me an amen?) she should be able to make an easy transition into writing for Scholastic Books as a History author, given the state of American History Books and their revisionist content. Her fashion taste is, well, out of the box. Yeah, that covers it. Her ability to backstroke the pap rags is amazing. It keeps me in stitches, and it helps me to bear the cold winter days.

The comments made above regarding cletus's drug addiction and recovery are insightful and very spot on. These ladies are sharp sharp sharp, and I applaud you.

Oh, but I'm angry. Angry at his "saddle pop" sensibilities that now overwhelm his country-rock roots. Angry that he cannot be mentioned on his own accord but as, indeed, Nicole's Third Nipple. And that he encourages all this.

He worked so hard for so many years, and now he's reduced to shadowing a woman who openly dismisses him and his talent.

He wanted to marry an A-list actress? He wanted Hollywood connections?

Keith should stop writing songs about Nicole because when they do split up he wont want to sing these songs again at concert. It's like when Rod Stewart wrote Tonights the Night and Britt Ekland was featured in it. When they split up he had to re-release the song with her voice removed from it. He claimed once that he hated singing that song at concert because it reminded him of Britt.

Do I believe the Kurbans will split? Not sure if Nicole's parents would support a second marriage breakdown. It would look bad for the family. I reckon they'll stay together but live in separate homes. One living in Nashville, the other in LA (close to her BFF)

hoosierlady said..."How will this help? Will there be money for each picture sent? Will the UN save 1 girl/woman per picture sent in? I don't understand."

This is in standing with kidman's "minimalist" efforts in philanthropy, hoosier! All the effort she had to exert is showing up to the photo shoot...but based on that asinine photo on that UN webpage, I'd gather an assistant simply took it with an iphone and emailed it in. Yes, her mini film shoot is done...but she apparently is still too busy to fly off to the lands of the unfortunates! If there is one thing that disgusts me about kidman to near "bile choking" proportions...it's her half assed, shameless and repulsive exploitation of charity work simply for the "headlines and press" she can get with it, as I mentioned, the least amount of effort and simply "lending her name" or in this case a photo...which is about as valuable as her lousy films! I seriously expect her next "charitable campaign" to be her having a "botox and collogen" party for Afghanistan widows and orphans...minus the widows or orphans in attendence of course...

"Right. And now that poor bastard has up and shot himself in the foot by associating too many of his songs with her. It's gone on for three records now,..."

I don’t know…

Brad Paisley’s love songs are all about his wife too and everyone knows it.

I don’t pay as much attention to Brad as you guys do to Keith but I’m sure Kimberly is mentioned in the liner notes on the album and Brad has even dedicated a song to her or, informed his audience that a song is about her and may have even told a story or two onstage every once in a while. Still, he does pretty well and no one seems to mind.

I honestly don’t see what Keith is doing as any different IMO. If some don’t like it, that’s their right but not everyone feels that way.

The difference is Brad Paisley has a likable wife. Keith doesn't. Brad and Kim seem to really be in love with each other. Kidman and Keith seem too fake and phoney. Mainly because Kidman is fake and phoney.

Actually, Brad does not refer to his wife on stage, nor does he thank her for saving him verbally. His music speaks for him, and he doesn't seem to feel the need to pay tribute to her for saving him. As a result, his fans can connect to the songs without thinking of Kim and feeling like it's her song.

Brad and Kim do not act like teenagers in heat on the red carpet and if they are together, they look like they are comfortable with each other. There is no 'fakeness' to their interaction.

I am a Brad fan (and a Keith fan) and I can tell you that there is a difference between how they are with their spouses.

I believe that that fact that NK is more famous and so, is constantly referred to in HIS reviews, is irritating and it diverts attention away from his shows / his music / his talent. His fame is forever linked to his wife. That is not the case with Brad. Of course, part of that is just the way it is...NK is famous, period. But also ... NK loves attention and appears to pursue the media to keep herself in the press.

I don't see Brad's music deteriorating. Can't say the same about Keith.

Brad's image hasn't taken a hit because he married a woman intent on fame.Can't say the same about Keith.

There was never any talk of Brad marrying for money or Hollywood connections. Can't say the same about Keith. (He spoke openly about marrying an A-list actress someday. I guess A-list super models weren't good enough.)

Brad's wife is never dismissive about him or his talent. He's never treated like an after-thought.Can't say the same about Keith.

Well, that's the difference with me I guess - when I hear Brad's songs, it's obvious who they are about and I DO think of Kimberly right away.

I guess my point or, my opinion, is that it is irrelevant (to me anyway) whether I like Nicole or not or whether I think the marriage is real or not - Keith is married and so, it goes without saying to me that he will talk about her, mention her and his songs will be about her.

I guess I've personally just come to accept that it is what it is - was what I was trying to say.

I don't care if he's married. It really should not matter. Unfortunately, his marriage has impacted his music and not in a positive way, in my opinion. As A440 says, Brad's music, life, commitment to his career, etc. have not been negatively impacted by Kim. Keith's have. It's really quite simple.

On the other hand, there has been some recovery in the past few months. If he'd just respect his fans enough to arrive the day before his shows, I think I could over look the rest. But that drives me nuts.

It is just simply a matter of time before a mechanical failure on a plane or weather system delays a flight and he will not be there in time for a show. Explain that to 20,000 people who've each paid $100 or more for their tickets.

Sorry...that's just not appropriate. And why is he slipping into town the afternoon of his shows? It's because he doesn't want to leave his wife until the last minute. She makes absolutely NO effort to spend the time with him while he's on tour ... he has to cater to her, to where she is and what she's doing. That could have a very big impact on his reputation and his career.

Well, the impact you're talking about would have to come from his fans and I guess Brad's fans don't care about Brad's personal life the way Keith's fans do.

I'm not trying to be difficult - just trying to share a different viewpoint - a lot of people have continued to appreciate Keith & his music and not pay attention to the other stuff...just like with Brad.

His fans could very well, regardless of what Kim is like, decide she's no good for him and complain that all his songs are about her - but they don't.

I am trying to also help you understand what many people, particularly some fans who have been around for many years, think about Keith.

Keith has changed. His music has changed. His interaction with his fans has changed. His commitment to his career and music has changed. These changes have taken place since this union.

You don't see them, but they are very obvious for many of us. It's a personal view, I guess.

For me, I'm Ok with whomever he is married to. But I want him to be committed to his music, if I'm going to spend alot of $$ on him.

I don't like him flying into town the afternoon of his shows. One of these days, the weather won't cooperate or there will be a mechanical problem with the plane and he won't make it. I won't be very impressed if it's me who spent alot of $$ to attend the show and Keith doesn't make it because he stayed home with NK instead of being responsible and flying into town the night before a show. That's an example of how the union has impacted his commitment to his career. It might be fine with you for him to take this risk. But it is not something I like. He did arrive late for a show in 2007. I think it's disrespectful to his band, his crew, his openner & to all the people who spent their hard earned money on his concert.

"You don't see them, but they are very obvious for many of us. It's a personal view, I guess."

I agree it is a personal view - and that was my point - it's all in the perception, IMO. We all could make the same complaints about any performer we follow.

But it's not that I don't see the changes - I certainly do.

But there's nothing you, or any of his fans can do about it - Keith has changed - period. So we just have to accept it and deal with it, IMO.

With all due respect, this comes across as incessant whining because he's not doing things the way you all would like him to.

You cannot control what he does or doesn't do. It is what it is so, if you don't like it, fine but it's not up to you so, if it's that upsetting, then find other musicians and move on.

If you no longer like the music he's making, stop listening to it.

If you're afraid he's gonna be late or cancel a show due to his travel arrangements, then don't buy tickets.

See what I'm, getting at?

Again, I'm honeslty not typing this with any attitude - I was a skeptic once believe it or not just like you all are still but it's been years now and he's still married, still to Nicole, and still not achieving the perfect balance you'd all like - so, that tells me that either I can remain a fan & accept the Keith that is now, or I can stop being a fan and focus my attention more on other musicians.

I guess I'm just confused as to why some are still having a difficult time with this and rather than accepting it for what it is and/or moving on, still continue to complain.

Hoenstly, I would like your thoughts as to why you don't just walk away or find a way to accept this...I am very interested.

"I don’t pay as much attention to Brad as you guys do to Keith but I’m sure Kimberly is mentioned in the liner notes on the album"

I have Brad's new album, which is great by the way, and I checked last night. There is no mention of Kim in the liner notes. In fact, he has no thank-yous. He doesn't even have the lyrics - basically, it is pictures of him painting.

I've seen many male performers on stage and have never heard an ode to the wife. Telling the audience that he wouldn't be sitting on that stage if it wasn't for his wife is just wrong. Remember, he claims that he and his wife are very, very, very private people.

"Hoenstly, I would like your thoughts as to why you don't just walk away or find a way to accept this...I am very interested."

I do not speak for other skeptics ... this is only MY take on this.

First of all, as a fan (and I am still a fan of his music) I've been encouraged that he seems to be more involved and committed lately. I haven't walked away because I still like his music and still think he puts on a great show.

As a fan, I think I can have an expectation of what an artist will do for his fans ... I know that some artists are very concerned about what their fans want. After all, I am spending money on his "product" ... and if I buy a car or purchase a CD player, I have expectations about how it will perform etc. When it comes down to it, we pay the bills. Why shouldn't I have expectations and in fact, disappointments, in Keith Urban. It is still my choice whether I continue to listen to his music. Perhaps some day, I will move on. For now, I am enjoying some of what he is producing and hoping for some changes.

Regarding why I am still talking about this... I suppose it's because I can and do have an opinion. What I don't understand is why that bothers some people. If you have either accepted everything or moved on, why does it matter to you that others are still talking about this?

This is what amazes me. Fine...some people don't want to discuss it...find it repetitive...find it "old news" ... that's OK. So...if I can accept that, why can't those people accept that I still want to talk about it sometimes?

"Hoenstly, I would like your thoughts as to why you don't just walk away or find a way to accept this...I am very interested."

Fair enough. If you want to know what's been lost, purchase "The Ranch" album. Then you'll understand why there's so much breast-beating.

That was Keith at his musical best. I'll go on to say that his first three solo albums also showed him at his solo best.

Compare and contrast that to the Kiss-A-Girl-Sweet-Thing crap he's shilling now. It's shameful how his music has deteriorated -- and how he's capable of so much better.

Even his videos were better. Now they're just phoned in.

Come to think of it, I don't mind that he's married. I mind that he's married to Kidman. In catering to a selfish, self-absorbed woman, his music and career -- the music and career he worked on for so long -- have taken a severe, unnecessary beating.

(Hmmmm... Just like that pap whom Kidman's hired thug assaulted. But that's another rant for another time.)

The short answer to your question? I won't walk away. And I won't accept.

a courtship, a marriage, a baby, two cds, three tours, and four years later and the skeptics are still wounded??? ku is just living his life. it's not a personal affront. honestly, it's past time to climb down from the cross.

He played Boston last night. He told the audience that he and NK were away for a four day holiday and had intended to get to Boston mid-afternoon. Unfortunately, he arrived about 7:30 pm.

This is exactly what causes my continued concern. If he invested the expected 100% into his career, I could care less about who he's married to. But sliding into town at the last minute is asking for trouble and shows incredible disrespect to his fans, let alone his band and crew.

This was Keith's decision to put having a few days away with NK ahead of his career (and really it didn't have to interfere with his entire vacation...just the last day). If he is interested in making sure his fans get what they paid for, he should be responsible enough to show up in time to do sound check. I'm not even sure the BSE (meet n greet) went ahead, and if it did, I'm sure it was rushed.

Anyways, this shows the impact that NK has had on his career. He just isn't committed to it ... and you can have good marriage AND be committed to your career. This just proves that there is no balance where NK is concerned. It's all about her.

I don't see where my post made it all about NK? He went to Italy with her and barely made it back in time for a show. In fact, the meet & greet was held AFTER the show, because he wasn't there in time to do it before the show.

And now, it's all about poor Keith ... he must be EXHAUSTED. blah blah blah

If he had done the responsible thing, he'd have returned to the US the day prior to his show, gotten rested up and given the fans what they paid for.

I think she's a very self indulgent selfish woman. He flew half way round the world over and over in 2007, because she was filming in Oz and he was touring here. NK's rule had to be maintained. She had several weeks off during the filming of Oz and never made an effort to come to the US to see him. It was Keith flying constantly back and forth. It was all about her.

Same applies now. Why not wait a week or 2 for the Italian holiday ... Keith has more time off later. I suspect this was because NK had business in Italy and so, it was required for her ... the private jet was likely paid for. Either way, I believe that they went last week because it suited her. It's all about her.

Look back over the last few years and you will see Keith making concessions to accommodate NK repeatedly.

That's all I'm saying. I realize he's a free man and could say "no" ... although I don't imagine life is pleasant for him when he does. But as a wife, I would not allow my husband to do this over and over. If you love the other person, you share those concessions.

is it "nk's rule" or a decision they made as husband and wife? do you even know? according to many of the skeptics, this marriage is contractual. if that's the case, ku is being paid to be at nk's beck and call. they should direct their frustration at him for being an idiot. i happen to believe their marriage is legitimate and has its ups and downs like any marriage. i do see ku making concessions; however, i'm not privy to their comings and goings or the reasons behind their decisions. if it works for them (and it seems to), who the hell am i???

I doubt Kidman loves anyone but herself. She sure doesn't give any indication of it. IMO the only thing she loves besides herself is her career. She loved what Tom Cruise could do for her not him. If you look up narrsicist in the dictonary there is a picture of Kidman. Cruise made her rich and famous. She's using Keith to try and hold on to that. If there was someone that she thought could get her more attention she would drop Keith like a hot potato and latch on to them.

is it "nk's rule" or a decision they made as husband and wife? do you even know? according to many of the skeptics, this marriage is contractual. if that's the case, ku is being paid to be at nk's beck and call. they should direct their frustration at him for being an idiot. i happen to believe their marriage is legitimate and has its ups and downs like any marriage. i do see ku making concessions; however, i'm not privy to their comings and goings or the reasons behind their decisions. if it works for them (and it seems to), who the hell am i???"

NK had this rule when she and Tom were together. So, it was initially her rule and Keith bought into it.

This type of thing only works for so long before the party who is making all the concessions finally gives his/her head a shake and gets frustrated at how one sided the whole thing is.

I am not one of the skeptics who thinks this is a contractual arrangement. I think there may have been an agreement initially, before they wed, but I think it's game on, now, especially since rehab.

Oh...I think he believes this is the way it should be too. And if that's what he wants, fine. My complaint relates to how it impacts his career ... cause I still spend $$ on him and I don't want to feel used if he is late or doesn't make the show I'm attending.

As far as not us not knowing that is't one sided, we don't know. But there is far more evidence to support that than the alternative.

NK has made no concessions that we have seen...and Keith has made many ... in fact, he's made them continuously for 3 years. She didn't even slow down her intense exercise regime to accommodate her pregnancy. And we all know now why she did that. She needed to be in shape to practice for NINE and film within a few weeks of the delivery. *film Australia re-shoots and Nine.

Seriously...it may be that Keith chooses this...but he still made the #1 pussy whipped list. Obviously, it isn't just the skeptics that have noticed how much NK runs his life.

if he gave a rat's ass that he topped some nonsensical whipped list, he'd make changes. he's never hidden his sensitive side. he's talked openly and written about it. take a look at the lyrics to it's a love thing, which he wrote long before he met nk. he is who he is.

Yep...he's a sensitive man. No problem with that. That doesn't have to lead to P-whipped though. But if he's ok with his wife running his life and career, that's his choice I guess. That is not a wise way to go long term, in my opinion.

I have seen a relationship that looked very much like this one close up. This one sided type of union falls apart over time, because one party starts to resent the control and constant demand for attention of the other party. How long would you make all the concessions before you started to feel taken for granted and used?

But then again, may be he likes this. Perhaps he thinks this is what he deserves after the years during which he didn't treat Laura that well. You never know what goes on in this type of relationship.

the difference between the urbans and the relationship you've described is personal knowledge. we can make assumptions, but we have no real insight into their daily lives. relationships are complex. what speaks to one may not speak to the other. one may feel loved through words of affirmation. the other may feel loved through acts of service. are both of these things visible from a distance? nope! i'd hate to think my own marriage was under a microscope.

See ...K...here's what's unhealthy. Worshipping someone blindly and never being able to accept his faults / errors.

I still enjoy most of Keith's music. I think he's likely a good person. You obviously haven't read all my posts or you'd know that. I don't like all his behaviors, and I feel that I have the right to express that.

So...you see, I have the right to continue to buy his music and attend his shows if I choose to. I can also express my concerns about his behaviors...that is also my right, given he is a public figure.

I don't blindly worship him. I think he has faults. I think some of his behaviors may have a negative influence on his career, which is largely why I am intersted.

You on the other hand, I believe have an unhealthy interest in the man. To spend as much time as you do attacking people and their opinions and sticking up for him seems very odd to me. Unhealthy, in fact.

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From the New York Post:

Celeb$ who gamble

February 26, 2010

Nicole Kidman: "I love trying my luck at casinos. I'm like a little old woman who puts my glasses on, and I watch what I'm doing and don't like anyone to talk to me. And I love the cocktails -- those apple martinis and cosmopolitans they bring around."

Cindy Adams

OSCAR WHISPERED RIGHT INTO MY EAR

February 26, 2008 - OSCARS. Boozing backstage during the Oscarcast is a no-no. But if you're pregnant Nicole Kidman it's a yes- yes. She wanted white wine. She got it...