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Sunday, May 5, 2013

What if?

Where to start?I suppose the easiest thing to do would be to jump in feet first and blurt it out.......I am going to visit a residential home for my teen. Damn, writing that sentence hurt far more than I thought it would.If you have been following my Hopeful Parents posts, then you will be aware that a close friend of mine was involved in a tragic accident and she has been left with a severe head injury. She is no longer capable of caring for her 15 year old daughter who has special needs.This has been a big wake up call for me and I have been asking myself the question, "what if anything happens to me and/or my husband?" It is a worry.I realise that most of us don't even want to think so far into the future, however, as I am discovering, the future arrives very quickly. My son turns 14 this month. If he was walking a typical developmental path, he would be leaving home in just under 5 years!As it stands today, my son will never be independent and will always need life long care. Scary thought, hey?In my country, there is very little in the way of residential facilities for adults on the spectrum. In fact there is nothing in our province. The home that I am going to be visiting caters for adults with Down Syndrome and Cerebal Palsy. It has a good reputation, although I don't actually know much about what life is like for those living there.Do I want to put my son into a residential home? Of course not! I am happy for him to live with me forever. However, remember that my forever is not his forever.... and again, what will happen to him if he was to lose us. Circumstances change at the flip of a switch.This home has a waiting list of 7 to 10 years, perhaps longer (and this is for the first person on the list!!). The cut off age is 31. All that is needed at this stage is to place my son's name on that list..... just in case!Will they turn my son away because of his autism? Well, that remains to be seen!I will be visiting the facility with one thing in mind........Is this residential home the right place for my son?

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Our kids have all kinds of special needs, mild to severe. Some of us grieve the loss of our children. We do the very best we can, which often takes a toll on us. We come here to share our feelings with other parents who understand. We're searching for every parent of a child with special needs. Welcome!