Family Portraits

We have concentrated a lot on debt recently, for good reasons, but this blog is also about divorce.

Half Term next week, so a week off for the kids from school. When they break up from school they bring home all their projects, PE kits, etc. Always nice to read through them and see what they have been working on.

My son has always been closer to his mother. This is totally natural in a boy, also he is quite young. Admittedly over the last year though, he has definetly become closer to me but I always expect drawings and writings to predominantly feature his mother. As stated before, whatever the cause of the breakup you must never speak untoward of the children’s mother – as much as you would love to!

Checking through his pictures, his recent project was family. Instant dread of course, but it was an interesting insight this time. All the pictures, entitled ‘familee’ (sic) still contain only 3 characters. We have touched on this before of course here, but this was a specific project. He has to write as well this time.

My daughter has been quite vocal about the breakup with multiple questions, but my son has always been quiet about it. But evidently, he is well aware and has many questions of his own. The difference between this set of drawings and the last is it includes location. If you check the drawing of the house, it is actually split in two. One side is my side, one side is his mother’s. It is actually quite clever.

Above my side is the sun, over hers is the rain. Interesting isn’t it?

I don’t have the children much this weekend, last night my son gave me a hug and asked if he had to go tomorrow. I said it was up to him but I can see he knows he has to go, he doesn’t want to upset his mum.

Being the stability and strength for my children is paramount, it is also why I have never let the sceptre of debt interfere in their lives. I go without so they don’t have to.

I do not give moral advice, but anyone reading this think carefully before doing something you regret. If you have children, they will be affected. Not just talking about splitting up a family here, families split for genuine reasons other than a marital affair and sometimes it is unavoidable. Just let them be children, where fairies and magic exists. Adult traumas must not intertwine, a child should remain child as long as they can.

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2 thoughts on “Family Portraits”

You are really doing the right thing. When I was 10 my parents divorced. My mum was spiteful, she did everything she could to hurt my dad including changing our name to her maiden name.

Children aren’t stupid. They remember everything and I will always remember that day when I finally lost all respect for her. It’s awful as a child, you don’t have any control and yet you go through so much change.

Keep strong for them – sounds like you are a fantastic father and they will learn so many life lessons from you.

Goodness it must be emotionally tough on you all, plus money worries on top. I haven’t read back through your previous posts yet but children’s drawings are fascinating – they so often articulate thoughts that the child can’t quite verbalise. I’m sure you’re doing everything you can to help them through & one day they’ll look back & recognise that fact.