I love it... it's descriptive of everything the feelings, the touches, the moments, the way they say nothing and they still can understand each other. It's beautiful and maybe more real that anything they have known til that moment. It's a perfect moment freezed in words. I absolutely love it. keep writing like that, because you have the abbility to show sensations beyond words.

And at the end, she said she loves his hands, at the end she love the posibility of being always touched by his hands.

A little more graphic that I usually read, but it was really well written and very enjoyable. Wow...nice job! :)

Anna M chapter 1 . 8/31/2003

Amazing! Wow. This short is so moving, so powerful. The imagery, the sensory details are just perfect. The form is excellent because it mimics thought patterns and spurious feelings.

I think you captured the essence of their relationship and the heat of the moment. I think the line, "An echo of thunder and a wave of regret when he sees in her eyes she has been saving this for someone else" will haunt me because it's so perfect for their situation. You picked just the right details to illustrate their characters: the lip balm, the leather of his necklace, rough hands, and silky locks.

I love the analogy that he's a "dog with no tag." How apt. I never thought of Ryan that way but it really fits.

I think you have a real talent as a writer, not just because your grammar and spelling are excellent, but because you seem to have an innate feeling for character, detail and sensuous imagery.

Wonderful! Please, keep writing. I'd love to read a novella on your perspective of all the love triangles and dichotomies in the show. I bet you'd make it one hell of a read.