[Dr. J is admiring himself in the mirror, while Reecie is laid comfortably on the bed in nothing but her red heels reading last week’s post from her BlackBerry.]Reecie: “Listen to me, the situation is going to happen to one of you.” <<<— this is rude. LMAOMe: How is that rude?Reecie: Sir, I guess you don’t know how rude you are, lol. So it sounds regular, LMAO.Me: Word!
(Source: A Night in Parisse)

Hi haters! I’m back for more cash!

I was having a conversation with a friend once and I told her, “The fact is, I’m not really rude, I only do that because women think that, and then they get to know me and realize I’m not.” There are several gimmicks circulating the world, but quite possibly the only analogy I could draw was that which happens on college campuses everywhere. There was this guy at my school who was allegedly a known player or back in the NORE days, he was considered, Grimy. I was younger than this cat so I watched him from afar, but the summer of my freshman year I ended up working with him. He told me, “Oh that’s what you have to do, let people think you’re grimy, but then when the shorty meets you and finds out you’re not, you got her.” And that sh*t worked!!! Man when people used to say I was grimy at school, I deployed a strict, “Any publicity is good publicity” rule and never cleared it up. Girls would meet me, I’d take them to Olive Garden and it was a wrap. (That’s cause negroes don’t date in college, they send out mass texts after parties that say, “What you doing after?”)

It’s the same exact thing with being rude. Do you know how many people think I’m rude and then they meet me in person and they are like, “Wow he’s actually not all that rude”?

Yeah, I don’t know them either, LMAO. So let me just say what I have to say today and get out of here.

Why are Black men so rude?

1. Because we can be – I reserve the right to say what I want, when I want, to who I want. If your name is not the signature on my check and we are not f*cking, trust me, I don’t owe you squadoosh.

2. We’re spoiled – When Remy Ma gets out of jail for shooting that chick who stole her money in the club, she will not have a record deal. Shyne went to jail for shooting a chick in the face, #TITF, and he came out and he had a deal lined up with every label in the game.

3. Because you won’t stop messing with us – No matter how many times Reecie texts me at work asking me what I’m doing after work, and I ignore it because I want to go holler at jawns at the local happy hour spot, The Park, she ain’t going to stop messing with me. Not never, because her options are limited, and since at least I’m a consistent asshole, she can live with that.

4. We’re not misogynistic, we’re just not pushovers – I’m not going to lie, I hate when people call me a misogynist. It’s like calling a chick a c*nt. There’s nothing I can really say as a comeback. But I try my best. I’ve never been one to back down if I felt I was right, I don’t find women attractive once I declare that they are birds, so they have no p*ssy control over me, which means … Mr. IDGAF is in the building! If you say something I don’t like, expect a response that you won’t like.

5. We need to put y’all in y’all place – While Obama was giving his State of the Union speech, I was talking to my dude on the phone. I had been drinking and I said, “I don’t know who Sputnik is, but I tell you one thing, that’s how we need to be with these jawns.” He felt me. Time has come, Black men have been on the dead and locked up list at church for a minute, but now we coming up in the world. Time to remind y’all who is the one true King.

6. You need to know you can’t have everything you want – Sometimes I don’t give women stuff just because. My mother said because is not a reason, but this is where we disagree on a lot of things. I intentionally talk your ear off, walk with you to the bar, ask you what you’re drinking, and then order myself a drink and wait for you to buy your own. Yep, just so you know that you ain’t that nice.

7. Because deep down you actually love it – Women love men who get up under their skin. They will tell their friends, “Arrrrggggg I HATE HIS LITTLE ASS!!!” But then all it takes is some eye contact, a hand on the shoulder, “drink this”, a few choice words, “Come on, you know me…” and all that anger goes away. You like the fact that we’re a challenge, nobody wants to ride the kiddie rollercoasters at Six Flags. They want to ride the rollercoaster that makes them think they might die.

8. It’s not only funny to us, it’s easy as hell – Do you remember how cats used to walk around the hood with water guns and the chicks said, “don’t get me wet” but they were wearing a white tee shirt, so you hosed their ass anyway? Do you know how funny it is when you have a chick naked in your room and you take her clothes and throw them into the living room where your entire crew is watching Chappelle Show Season 2 repeats? Maybe not, but I do! It’s really easy to be rude too, basically all you are doing is thinking to yourself, “What would Mr. IDGAF do?” And you know what, Mr. IDGAF is actually a part of you.

Y’all think I’m playing, but I’m not. I’m being honest as Abe with this message. In all honesty, a lot of Black men are rude, but they have manners. I know when to turn it on and when to turn it off, so don’t get it twisted. Do I feel a little bit of privilege because I’m an African American Male living in a big city, with a great job and lot going for himself? Um… yes, that’s exactly why I did all the hard work to get here. Do I apologize because sometimes I may offend someone by being rude?

“I’m not answering that sh*t.” – K. Bryant, who is not only the spokeperson, but he’s a card carrying member of Black Men Who Are Rude.

Dr. JThis guy has no idea what his position is at SBM.org. He's a well travelled blogger. You can find his work at SingleBlackMale, Necole Bitchie's BitchieLife.com, BuppietheBlog.com, The Book of Jackson, This Is The Dream. He has also published several guest posts at blog all around the blogosphere. He can't spell really good, and grammar isn't his strong suit, but he really appreciates you reading his posts for content, and content only. (I feel very Michael Vick'ish referring to myself in the 3rd Person.)

You know what? Any other day this post probably would have pissed me off. But I found this entire thing funny as sh*t. Maybe it's the finals delirium (currently heading into my 4th all-nighter in a row o_0) but a lot of this is hilarious and true. And it applies to a lot of women too. I've said madd rude stuff this week just because I can. Also because sometimes people get too comfortable and need to be put in their place (finals is NOT a reason to be rank in closed spaces – go take a shower)

Anyway, before I start rambling – good post. I tend to stay away from rude dudes because I have a sharp tongue and will fire back, but it's also nice when you discover that a man with a "bad" rep is actually really sweet. #PleasantSurprises.

Realest statement of all time. I already have popcorn and dibs on deck.

AndAnotherOne

*looks around & slips off jacket*

Guess I'll make myself comfy since I'm new and all. I will say that there is a certain "je ne sais quoi" about an asshole which traps me, smh. I like to think that I have the ability to match assholes in their assholeness. Game, set, match for my ass -___-

And that right there shows I need to go to sleep. Delirium is a mutha!

Lyrically Inclined

Ahhh, the famous "Kanye shrug"… The awesomeness of this post is so overwhelming lol damn.

Seriously though, could it also be that environment plays a role? I assume you just painting with a broad brush and not deliberately generalizing about black men (I usually don't give a f*ck when a chick is bullsh*tting, but I approach f*ck-ups using tact instead of outright rudeness). I mean, we probably got conditioned to be rude as a result of consistent reaction to the extreme bullsh*tting around us as we were growing up.

The incoming comments in this post finna be interesting lol beleedatt! *rubs both hands like baby-birdman*

Mix

This post is true on some many levels it's not even funny, im a really laid back,cool guy but I have been having rude moments lately it's just coming out and it is getting results #shrugs# not the way I want them, but I will take it.Trying not to go too far with it then I will start attracting rats.

Larinsofia

I hear you I hear you I am listening

TKO-Curly

I'm rude myself so dating rude guys isn't possible for me. My mom tells me that the reason I have rude guys is because we are so similar and she is true. Sometimes people just hate their reflection. But I love rude guys as my friends they keep me going because we could go at each other with no hard feelings.

Side Note: I'm a BIG ass Kanye fan. And I get alot of shit from people because I'm always willing to defend him.

extremely judgementa

therefore i sling my sh*t your way.

lol

TKO-Curly

typo switch : I have rude guys to I hate rude guys. Sorry!

goons

Let me first say that I cannot argue with your reasons for being rude….however……

"A LOT of black men ARE rude but have manners"….*pause*..dont know who u have been hanging around with!!!

Maybe the title should be, "Why am I so rude"…….*just a thought*…..

Anyways, I dislike a rude man, with or without manners..Being rude does not fly with me WHATEVER the reason… any man who is rude to me can take that shit to the birds because if you are rude to me, u WILL also get the response that you are looking for….

A FIRM and respectful man yes, but rude?? Hell nah…that aint even sexy for a man..actually only weak ass man are rude!!! You can get your point across by being firm, respectful and NOT being rude!!

Hebrew Princess

I wholeheartedly agree with you. A rude man is disgusting. I like Kanye, particularly because he's very talented & I consider him arrogant (not rude). There are plenty of women who like rude a**holes & when they get sh*t on they are the 1st ones to cry foul. I will not tolerate rudeness in any way, shape or form. Like @goon said above: "…actually only weak a** men are rude."

Kema

<blockquote cite="comment-311756">

goons: Maybe the title should be, “Why am I so rude”…….*just a thought*…..

Yes… Yes… So we are of one accord… Let the church say AMEN!

I think some guys feel that since we dont like 'soft' overly agreeable guys we want the total opposite. No we want you to have a spine but dont be an a$$hole. I also do not like rude guys.

DeKeLa

I think you are all missing his point. He does not CARE whether you like it or not and is not doing it to appease women.. Hence being a rude man.

Kema

" He told me, “Oh that’s what you have to do, let people think you’re grimy, but then when the shorty meets you and finds out you’re not, you got her.” And that sh*t worked!!! "

"…He does not CARE whether you like it or not and is not doing it to appease women…"

I disagree with that being the definition of being "a rude man"–that's being REAL with women. I, nor any real man, is getting PAID for telling women what they want to hear. Fck… Not even getting paid WORTH telling women what they want to hear. So, like I had heard on some movie the other day, "better to be disliked for being yourself than to be liked for something you are NOT". Don't like fake-a$$ed women AT ALL since fake-a$$ed men aren't liked in the long run!!!

Oh… I feel #3 through 6 BTW…

Hugh Jazz

Rude men get pu$$y. They could care less that you don't like it. They are perfectly willing to allow women to wag their fingers at him while he's sleeping with a different woman every two weeks. I'm not saying this is true in your case, but in many cases, that rude dude ends up sleeping with the woman complaining about his behavior.

I expect the inevitable thumbs down, but while you're pressing the thumbs down button, that rude dude is moving on to his next conquest. Reality is harsh.

Starita34

You're a rude dude?

Hm! And you think you know somebody!

Hugh Jazz

No, I'm not a rude dude by nature. I did front for a little while. Let's just say it worked.

Starita34

What's the punchline…and where do I get some of the kool-aid that the first few comments were drinking? or whatever J is smoking/drinking

Manners is something we all need to recognize should not continue to become eroded and women who tolerate rudeness deserve to be treated rudely. I person don't so no one steps to me that way. The immaturity that walks hand-in-hand with the type of rudeness articulated here speaks volumes about a man because immature and insecure men are rude. I have yet to see a grown-ass man be rude to a woman, that is if he's a real man. To me, that's what separates the immature, non-confident males from a man who knows that having manners and gentleman ways is a part of manhood. Boyz are rude. All I know is that a rulde black male should recognize that rudeness it comes with a price. Rappers have a rude-type swagger which is image driven, but the first thing I notice about a black man who is confident and secure in himself is he has manners and class. So, all the immature examples here, as funny as they may be, need to recognize the difference because frankly, a man being rude is typically based in a response to something someone's done to him….the rest are just angry little black boyz in the bodies of males over 21. This perpetuates an image and a stain that continues to punish them by continuing to promote the stigma that black men are difficult and challenging (and they think we women are an issue?). To look at a brotha like a Hill Harper and a Barack Obama and then look at a rude counterpart (though Kanye's rudeness even unwarranted to Taylor Swift can be discounted to and by some regarding talent), its measurable to notice that just like a crazy female, no one really wants to be bothered with him except other ignorant people, his mother and perhaps some woman who can't do or doesn't know any better. To them I say that they should go back to the drawing board, read some literature on the subject (The Black Male Handbook/A Blueprint For Life by Kevin Powell is a good start).

TellyLongLegs

"I intentionally talk your ear off, walk with you to the bar, ask you what you’re drinking, and then order myself a drink and wait for you to buy your own. Yep, just so you know that you ain’t that nice."

Guys really do this?

I'm happy I rarely drink.

Bartender, I'll have a glass of water.

Brittany

". Do I feel a little bit of privilege because I’m an African American Male living in a big city, with a great job and lot going for himself? Um… yes, that’s exactly why I did all the hard work to get here. "

This shit HERE is why I'm glad I ventured outside of my race and am dating guys of other colors. The arrogance from black males because they are the "good ones", the "exceptions" (a.k.a.. Doing things you're supposed do in the first damn place, like getting an education, getting a job, and staying out of jail) is sickening.

Lyrically Inclined

“. Do I feel a little bit of privilege because I’m an African American Male living in a big city, with a great job and lot going for himself? Um… yes, that’s exactly why I did all the hard work to get here. ”

This shit HERE is why I’m glad I ventured outside of my race and am dating guys of other colors. The arrogance from black males because they are the “good ones”, the “exceptions” (a.k.a.. Doing things you’re supposed do in the first damn place, like getting an education, getting a job, and staying out of jail) is sickening."

LMAO. You just took his opinion to justify your decision to date outside your race (not that it needed any justification though, but you just HAD to take that long shot).

I aint mad at your opinion though. I just wonder the reaction I'll get if I said "oh I'm glad I started dating white females just because Black females are___________ *insert negative stereotype here* "

Sade

Long story short, you'd be crucified..lol

I kinda agree that the reason Black men feel privileged is because of the available black man to woman ratio and the ratio would be much more even if more black women were willing to date outside of the race. The reason shouldn't be black men are too arrogant/rude, black men ain't sh*t or whatever, it should just be about not limiting your options to a very small part of the population.

Peyso

"I aint mad at your opinion though. I just wonder the reaction I’ll get if I said “oh I’m glad I started dating white females just because Black females are___________ *insert negative stereotype here* ”"

um, all black men are NOT like this, regardless of what the good Doctor here is preaching today. you date outside of your race because that's what you like, and that's fine. but don't blame it on the supposed arrogance of black men. i know a few single, nice, respectful and successful black men if you're interested. lol

um, all black men are NOT like this, regardless of what the good Doctor here is preaching today. you date outside of your race because that’s what you like, and that’s fine. but don’t blame it on the supposed arrogance of black men. i know a few single, nice, respectful and successful black men if you’re interested. lol

I like this comment Muze. The same way all black women aren't loud with a stank attitude and all white women aren't easy, all black men are not rude.

Brittany: “. Do I feel a little bit of privilege because I’m an African American Male living in a big city, with a great job and lot going for himself? Um… yes, that’s exactly why I did all the hard work to get here. ”This shit HERE is why I’m glad I ventured outside of my race and am dating guys of other colors. The arrogance from black males because they are the “good ones”, the “exceptions” (a.k.a.. Doing things you’re supposed do in the first damn place, like getting an education, getting a job, and staying out of jail) is sickening.

I want to respond to this. I think it needs to be clarified. There's meeting the status quo and then there's excelling. I'm not sure if you are quite sure what you're speaking of. Oft times people say that people think they're successful for doing things they are supposed to do, but they are mistaken. Let me clarify by giving a few tidbits of information.

I left a predominantly Black elementary school in the 6th grade to bus it to the otherside of town to an all white middle school because my test scores suggested that there would be no challenge in continuing education at that school. That school was still one of the top elementary schools in DC. However, I chose to leave all my friends behind and embark on a journey that was both challenging educationally, socially and racially. I could have done very well for myself academically by staying where I was. Many of those classmates attended the feeder schools after my elementary school and went on do well for themselves. The same applied for me in High School and in College. I chose to attend challenging institutions of education when the status quo would have been just fine. I challenged myself and not only did I obtain a college education, I obtained a great college education. In addition to just going to college to get my education, I decided to participate and engage in student life. Whereas the plight of several African American men on college campuses today is to "get an education," I chose to be active on campus. I grew because of it. Not only did I lead student organizations on issues of race and sexual health, I had the privilege to join a great organization in that of, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Most Black men on college campuses do NOT grow in this way, do not even exhibit the initiative or desire to want to grow their minds in that way. I again, challenged the status quo. Upon graduation, I approached my career like many of my friends who were 4-5 years my senior approached their career. I could have been the 21 year old, but I interacted professionally like I was 25. And for that reason, in my mid-twenties, I've accomplished at my firm things that people in their mid-thirties are just getting to. Yes, I could have gotten a job and kept a job, but I challenged the status quo. I decided that I would excel instead of just getting an education, getting/keeping a job, and staying out of jail. I said that the bare minimum would not be enough for myself. And when I say, that's why I did the hard work, that's what I mean. So excuse me for being proud of my accomplishments. Yet and still, I am not even beginning to rest on my laurels because i'm now working on an additional career and turning my hobby into a second career. And for that, thank you for reading.

Just some clarification as to what is meant by the above mentioned quote. And yes, those are the people I roll with. You'd be surprised if the writers of this here blog posted bios.

If I run across a man who has this resume and mixes it with humility… (and a few other things from my wish list)

*fans self*

Send him, Lawd!

LOL!

PhenomenalMFT

Ok – that life story & resume just proved what was hinted at in your post. You are emotionally immature. Look that up and then work on it. ASAP.

Also, work on finding some kind of spiritual foundation. Any person that takes pride in the behavior you described has a serious lack of real love in their life. The only women that would tolerate you are clearly messed up…but you already know that. That's why you go for them b/c you don't think you deserve anything better.

I feel sorry for you and hope that you get the help you need.

Hugh Jazz

<blockquote cite="comment-311770">

Brittany: “. Do I feel a little bit of privilege because I’m an African American Male living in a big city, with a great job and lot going for himself? Um… yes, that’s exactly why I did all the hard work to get here. ”This shit HERE is why I’m glad I ventured outside of my race and am dating guys of other colors. The arrogance from black males because they are the “good ones”, the “exceptions” (a.k.a.. Doing things you’re supposed do in the first damn place, like getting an education, getting a job, and staying out of jail) is sickening.

In other words, you're doing what black men have been doing for decades.

YoungestMILF

I'm not going to read all through the comments, so if someone already said these things, or has made this clear, I apologize. This post needs a direct follow up post called "Well…now we know why Black Women are so f*ckin' crazy!"…

My name is Cara. Mia if you're nasty (or if you knew me pre 2004) and I'm certifiable. I'm crazy as hell. If you throw my clothes into the living room with your boys, I'm going to throw yours there too. With whatever wet, sticky, or bleach related substance I can find atop of them. And not just one outfit. The whole closet.

You walk me to the bar like you're gonna buy me a drink and don't? I'm throwing the one I purchased on them Banana Republic flat fronts my brotha.

If you hang up on me enough, eventually I'm going to write what I had to say all those times in red paint on your garage. And that last story is true, cuz I'm serious. I'm a serial asshole, douche bag, rude bwoi dater and I'm bat shit crazy, too. And no, you can't pick me out of a crowd and recognize it. And no you won't not deal with me cuz I'm ugly.

So just be aware, rude black man, when you're standing atop the remnants of the contents of your wallet, or hard drive, or car windows…or whatever else your chivalry deficient, "cuz I can" claiming, jerky ass once valued… What you lack in courtesy, I lack in self control. Happy Trails.

This is why I f*cks with you though. A relationship between us is the definition of checks and balances.

KAPSpecial

I just want to do a quick public service announcement: The type of behavior you referred to is unacceptable. PERIOD. Self-control is necessary and lack of it is dangerous. Seek help.

Now back to fun and games (and work).

YoungestMILF

When I scroll down the post will you also admonish the writer's rudeness as unacceptable? If so, my apologies, in advance for not fully reading the piece/responses. If not, the world is based on action and reaction. One action, state of mind, or state of being begets another, period. I cram to understand people who say "lack of self control" is not ok, but then turn a blind eye to blatant rude behavior, the action that provokes the situation to the point of no control. In my mind, neither are "ok" per se…but we excuse one and crucify another? Nah, b. You can have all the seats in the game of musical chairs with that backwards sh*t.

Now if I was dealing with Johnny Come Sweetly's all day, and he sneezed to the left and I burned his house down? Send me to therapy. But if this negro throws my clothes out into the living room with his boys after I probably just gave up that evenings finest of cookies, just cuz he wanted to make sure I knew who had the upper hand? He deserves tye dye work shirts. And if you disagree, may the bleach from a thousand clorox bottles touch effortlessly on all your work clothes next time you do some uncalled for assholishness.

Jemsstar23

Yo, you are bat sh*t crazy… I love it tho!!!

THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE!!!! has me cheering. Left and right dudes will cosign that the crazy things girls do things that are unaccepatble but fail to acknowlege their role in the drama!!

Christi Adams

true shit. punk ass dudes fuck up and blame us when go off the deep end…lmdao

Kema

Can I start a slow clap? lol! loving this comment!

QueenBinthestreets

LMAO….Love It, you had me busting out laughing in my Psych class….the topic today is suicide so needless to say I got the dirty "this is serious" looks

But lol if only they knew

PhenomenalMFT

I'm feeling this!!! I was just imagining the consequences this man would face if he tried to pull that clothes in the LR mess with me or one of my crazy ass friends. Thing is…he wouldn't have b/c these fools know who to play those kind of games with & who will f*ck them up in their own shit while their friends watch.

But then I got tired of the drama & matured. So for the record, I don't condone f*cking them up anymore. I just laugh at them and don't even let them get that far in their approach b/c I'm way too fly for their immature sh*t anymore.

Sade

I don't tolerate rudeness, it's unattractive. Whether it's towards me, the waiter, you BM or whoever, being rude is not a good look. Neither is arrogance. People give Kanye a pass because he has talent, I think that's complete bs.

I don't think men should be pushovers or simps but to be purposely rude is not something I will tolerate. I'm not asking you to buy me a drink but to leave the impression that you're going to and then not is going to have me blocking your number with a quickness.

I don't have masochistic tendencies. I say I want a man that will respect me and that's what I mean. Everyone else can keep it moving.

Rick

Women's p*ssies love what their hearts hate. And at the top of that list is assholes.

MissCTG

Good morning all,
I haven't commented in a while but I am a religious reader. 🙂 Anywho. This is an interesting post topic to me. I admittedly used to have a slight knee weakness for the 'kind of asshole' who used to act really nonchalant and aloof towards me at times…but then I grew up. Dr. J definitely raised some true points as to why men (not just black) can get away with that sort of behavior. The bottom line is that it is successful for these men. They still are getting the pum and the freedom to not have any obligations to it afterwards. Now whether this is top quality pum is a whole different question.

I am inclined to agree with Carol on a few things, especially the point that after a certain age (in my mind that means undergrad) some of the antics exampled in the post are purely immature. Its one thing to be the asshole, and its another thing to be disrespectful. Rudeness doesn't look good on anyone, not children, teens, but especially not adults. It makes people come across as if they do not believe there are consequences to their actions, something which we all know is not true. So at the end of the day, in my eyes you are either superbly immature or a sociopath…good job or not neither of the 2 will be privvy to my tasties. Lol

Disclaimer: I can be an @sshole/rude and plenty of people about to read this comment think I am but it's usually when I'm provoked. 99.8% of the other times I simply said something you didnt agree with. Moving on…

—–

You're saying some truthful things here J that women folks don’t want to hear. Especially this one, "Not never, because her options are limited, and since at least I’m a consistent asshole, she can live with that." But, I'm still going to have to withhold my co-sign for today.

Namely, since you seem to be advocating for being a conscious @sshole. I think it’s one thing if being an @sshole/rude is your natural personality. Such is life. However, in many of your points you seem to make the decision to be rude. Thus, I assume this means you had the option not to be, too.

If the points above are true, like number 3, from which I quoted, then as the cliché quote goes: “with great power comes great responsibility.” Simply because you can be rude and women will put up with it – and I know they will because I’ve seen it happen. Hell I’ve done it, no Fresh Prince of Bel Aire – doesn’t mean you have to exercise your power.

Back in my uncivilized days, if a woman would let me run over here, then I would. Repeatedly. For as long as she would let me. And I would enjoy the hell out of it also. But, I think my disgust with their inability to stand up to me may have been equaled to my joy in dominating them. In other words, if a woman is willing to let you treat her bad, in my opinion, a man chooses not to deal with that woman. In the end, taking advantage of the advantageous is not really an accomplishment.

Very little known fact. Maverick (Top Gun) was a horrible wingman. He used any chance he could to break formation and fly a solo mission for personal glory.

I think a lot of those examples are from college, if you peep the story with Reecie, I didn't even know I was being rude. That's more of who I am now. I think 6 of the 8 were subconscious and then 2 of the 8 were conscious, like the Sputnik moment or needing to let them know they can't have what they want. I don't think those are bad concerted efforts though.

Very little known fact. Maverick (Top Gun) was a horrible wingman. He used any chance he could to break formation and fly a solo mission for personal glory.

LMAO @ the Maverick reference. If anyone is flying out of formation its you and I'm trying to help the team re-group before we're taken down by coordinated swarms of enemy fire.

Plus Dr. J sir, I believe it was YOU who said in one of your own post that when your boy is trippin a REAL friend says "aye, you trippin. Chill." I'm too lazy to find this quote cuz I'm mobile right now but if I remember correctly, it was on your Rihiana post in regards to Chris Brown. Just sayin!

How many white, asian, middle eastern guys you know act rude and arrogant because they "live in a big city and have a job"?? Because I don't know of any. You'd think these guys were out here curing cancer or something.

Peyso

You might need to know more people. Have you ever hung out w/ a group of iBankers? sheeeeeeit. You can tell them their shit dont stink

Brittany: How many white, asian, middle eastern guys you know act rude and arrogant because they “live in a big city and have a job”?? Because I don’t know of any. You’d think these guys were out here curing cancer or something.

*LooksAroundMyOffice*

I can name you 5 right now off the bat and they know it but don't give a fcuk because they're rainmakers for the Firm.

Brittany

<blockquote cite="comment-311774">

I aint mad at your opinion though. I just wonder the reaction I’ll get if I said “oh I’m glad I started dating white females just because Black females are___________ *insert negative stereotype here* ”

As if that hasn't already been done countless of times *shrug*

Peyso

has it been done here though? I swear only know one of the writers that really fux w/ white joints though

Peyso

Everyone is rude, this is the particular way in which some/most/all black men are rude. I know black women who have the same approach too. Hell, I know white dudes that have the same approach. So I wouldnt quite limit these characteristics to black men.

With that said, all of the "I dont tolerate rudeness…." comments are mute and moot. (I neither hear them nor do they matter.) that's b/c the point of the post was that he's so rude that he doesnt quite care.

For those with the "you're rude so you're insecure…" comments, not that I necessarily disagree with you but did you just make this up? Or are you a psychologist/psychiatrist? Is it "I dont approve of him so he must be insecure because I'm so insecure." I'd posit that people who call people insecure are actually the people that are insecure but I'd be making that up just like you made your whole comment up. I think calling people insecure is really coded language for "I dont like what you're doing and I dont have a well reasoned idea of why i shouldnt." Calling someone insecure for their actions, when you've never seen them or know very little about them is such a logical copout, its almost appalling. Secure doesnt mean being nice to people and being insecure doesnt mean that you're a jerk. Let's use the language a bit more effectively ppl.

Are some of what Jay said true? Yep. Is some of what he said wrong (as in the wrong thing to do)? Yep.

And to those who use this post as justification for dating white men, may i ask the question, are you insecure?

With that said, all of the “I dont tolerate rudeness….” comments are mute and moot. (I neither hear them nor do they matter.) that’s b/c the point of the post was that he’s so rude that he doesnt quite care.

I agree, and as far as me personally not tolerating rudeness, I don't care what other people do as long as it doesn't personally affect me.

Obviously, there are plenty of women who put up with or even love rude men, I'm not one of them. I don't expect anyone to care about my opinion because they don't know me, therefore my opinion and how I handle my affairs doesn't affect their opinions and how they handle their affairs. I still don't tolerate rudeness in my life…lol

calling someone insecure is the biggest cop out ever, IMO. that and "low self esteem" I pretty much hate. I mean, I know some insecure and some LSE folks but come on, those aren't the reasons for every action/behavior…

Just so I understand, your response to a comment that was aimed at this site and focused on a particular set of people, was to speak generally?

The person who made the "If I said this about black women.." comment isn't a writer for this site, I think. And I was saying IN GENERAL, "I don't fool with black women because of XYZ"-blahblah has been said many, many times. It's nothing new.

CHeeKZ

This post is spot on. I loved the hustle. I see a couple of poster are acting up above with this 'I hate rude men'. The problem is they don't see the gaffle. The key is having a rep of being rude but still being a decent human being on a one-on-one level. See I treat the group of Deltas like dirt, the start flapping their gums. Than I treat the cute AKA with respect, so she thinks she is special and able to tame the wild beast. Works every time.

Three points

A) I'm jealous you had Reecie's name all up in this blog. I wanted to have her dirty mouth all over my c06k.

C)You have to slow down on the Shyne example. Shyne has been home for a minute and hasn't dropped anything. Remy actually sounds good the few times we have been able to hear her spit from behing bars. Shyne on the other hand sounds like a Buddist Monk trying to kick knowledge over wack beats. Shyne did close to a milli, he was really relevant. Remy caught a brick when she came out. I just think there was a lot more than gender when comparing the two cases.

b) Firm believer that you were going to get the number without the drink.

c) Yeah, but that's because Shyne changed in jail. If he had stayed the same, my example is correct. He came out with all these deals on the table, but Shyne was content with not really dropping a mainstream album and being deported. Shyne had a choice, I can't say that Remy will have a choice, no matter how nice she is.

CHeeKZ

A) Reecie has the rare 'LBJ' player rating. The fact being that is top five in both categories of 'Commenters I would most like to Eff' and 'Commenters I would most like to wife'.

B)Nice guys finish last. That is why I am on my knees #pause, begging for someone to write a post about Joe Budden. One of the most interesting cases of a good guy losing we have ever seen.

C)I understand your Shyne point a lot better now. But I still would have used Lil Kim as an example.

Not only you trying to f*ck my girl, but you trying to wife her down too. A man has to put his foot down. I am the rightful owner of these here Reecie's pieces. And I already spit on my candy.

B) Joe Budden is the Skip to my Lou of Hip Hop. He's got a following despite never really making it in the industry. I personally seethe when I hear someone tell me that Budden is their favorite artist because he's been such a disapointment with his sales.

B) Funny you say that. B/c Joe Budden is one of my favorite rappers. Not top 10, maybe top 30. Yea he caught a brick and never recovered. That doesn't mean dude doesn't do great work. sales never equal who is nice. That's the beauty of Slaughterhouse, who honestly I would take a bullet for.

C) I don't know why you are all up on Reecie today. I thought you were #teamM…..

This post is spot on.I loved the hustle.I see a couple of poster are acting up above with this ‘I hate rude men’.The problem is they don’t see the gaffle. The key is having a rep of being rude but still being a decent human being on a one-on-one level.See I treat the group of Deltas like dirt, the start flapping their gums. Than I treat the cute AKA with respect, so she thinks she is special and able to tame the wild beast. Works every time.

"Because deep down you actually love it – Women love men who get up under their skin. They will tell their friends, “Arrrrggggg I HATE HIS LITTLE ASS!!!” But then all it takes is some eye contact, a hand on the shoulder, “drink this”, a few choice words, “Come on, you know me…” and all that anger goes away. You like the fact that we’re a challenge,"

I Cannot Tell A Lie!

Cosign.

GirlSixx is ChloeRay

I can get with #7 hell I think most females on this blog today will admit we DO LIKE A CHALLENGE. Who wants a "Yes Baby –Anything You Like Baby Kind of Man" NOT ME, I need a vertebrate but there's a thin line between being rude AND just being a plain ole arrogant douchebag butthole.

Being obnoxious and rude to people in general just because it's Tuesday is not cool, and I wish a Ninja would take my clothes and throw them ANYWHERE… No. You fold them properly and place within eyesight. kthnxs.. *hmph*

Makes Me Wonder though J what kind of chicks you mess with that actually let you get away with some of the above scenarios?

Makes Me Wonder though J what kind of chicks you mess with that actually let you get away with some of the above scenarios?

*resists urge to be racist, cause I know it'd bum me out if other people did it, but this is just toooo easy…*

GirlSixx is ChloeRay

<blockquote cite="comment-311819">

Starita34: *resists urge to be racist, cause I know it’d bum me out if other people did it, but this is just toooo easy…*

Good Call!!! because I wasn't trying to be racist, I was asking what kind.. okay maybe I should said what caliber of chicks. Does that sound more PC to you?

Starita34

I know you weren't, it was just set up perfectly for a stereotypical white girl joke…

Brittany

<blockquote cite="comment-311797">

Dr. J: I want to respond to this.I think it needs to be clarified.There’s meeting the status quo and then there’s excelling.I’m not sure if you are quite sure what you’re speaking of.Oft times people say that people think they’re successful for doing things they are supposed to do, but they are mistaken.Let me clarify by giving a few tidbits of information.

I left a predominantly Black elementary school in the 6th grade to bus it to the otherside of town to an all white middle school because my test scores suggested that there would be no challenge in continuing education at that school.That school was still one of the top elementary schools in DC.However, I chose to leave all my friends behind and embark on a journey that was both challenging educationally, socially and racially.I could have done very well for myself academically by staying where I was.Many of those classmates attended the feeder schools after my elementary school and went on do well for themselves.The same applied for me in High School and in College.I chose to attend challenging institutions of education when the status quo would have been just fine.I challenged myself and not only did I obtain a college education, I obtained a great college education.In addition to just going to college to get my education, I decided to participate and engage in student life.Whereas the plight of several African American men on college campuses today is to “get an education,” I chose to be active on campus.I grew because of it.Not only did I lead student organizations on issues of race and sexual health, I had the privilege to join a great organization in that of, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.Most Black men on college campuses do NOT grow in this way, do not even exhibit the initiative or desire to want to grow their minds in that way.I again, challenged the status quo.Upon graduation, I approached my career like many of my friends who were 4-5 years my senior approached their career.I could have been the 21 year old, but I interacted professionally like I was 25.And for that reason, in my mid-twenties, I’ve accomplished at my firm things that people in their mid-thirties are just getting to.Yes, I could have gotten a job and kept a job, but I challenged the status quo.I decided that I would excel instead of just getting an education, getting/keeping a job, and staying out of jail.I said that the bare minimum would not be enough for myself.And when I say, that’s why I did the hard work, that’s what I mean.So excuse me for being proud of my accomplishments.Yet and still, I am not even beginning to rest on my laurels because i’m now working on an additional career and turning my hobby into a second career.And for that, thank you for reading.

Just some clarification as to what is meant by the above mentioned quote.And yes, those are the people I roll with.You’d be surprised if the writers of this here blog posted bios.

When you take the time and respond instead of calling someone a "Bird" for saying some dumb sh*t, this is the response you get. Thank you, for this response because it lets me know, to stop taking anything you say on this blog seriously. Just so you know, you can now add yourself to list of people who are defined as: people I do not take seriously.

When you take the time and respond instead of calling someone a “Bird” for saying some dumb sh*t, this is the response you get.Thank you, for this response because it lets me know, to stop taking anything you say on this blog seriously. Just so you know, you can now add yourself to list of people who are defined as: people I do not take seriously.

LOL @ this post! I won't knock your hussle, Dr. J. If this approach has worked for you and you're pleased with the results, work it, lol.

I think I would need you, Dr. J, to differentiate between sarcastic, flippant, brutally honest, and rude. I can tolerate the first three…cause I tend to dish plenty of it when I feel justified. But, the latter, I try hard not to dish and it definitely offends me…especially when the rudeness is unwarranted. If I asked for it, it's fair game.

I tend to be swayed by humor and intelligent conversation. But, I will admit that a man giving a sure, confident directive is very, VERY attractive to me. I have a strong personality so a man who can handle that and still take the lead in the relationship without trying to subdue me (I don't play that, lol)….shwoooo! 😉

Good points, but also simple linguistics you know what I mean. Like in my opinion, I wasn't being rude in the story above, I was being brutally honest. But it's all up to that person. It's hard for me to decipher sometimes between the four because everyone's definitions are different.

cynicaloptimist81

So true, lol. Based on some of the comments, it's easy to see that folks definitions of rude, brutally honest, etc. are very different.

Plus, aside from the fact that I'm not overly sensitive, I also have a pretty warped sense of humor. Sarcasm, backhanded compliments, undercover digs…pure comedy to me, lol. The world couldn't keep turning without them…IMO. What would I laugh at?!

I'll also say, Dr. J, though you catch some flak for some of your comments, you really only seem to get out the gate when you deem a post…stupid and/or illogical, lol. And though I can't always cosign what you say, I can relate…cause things that are stupid and illogical drive me NUTS! At that point, I feel provoked to become sarcastic, flippant, brutally honest…and depending on the person's nonsensical response, maybe even rude, lol. Age has made me a bit more sugary in my approach…but my nature is to let truth prevail…even at the expense of one's wounded feelings.

I can peep the game, though it's just not for me. I don't have any 'holier than thou' reasons for the way I do things. My way just never failed me.

My homie, since middle school, told this lady that's interested in him (she's Hispanic): "You're not really black or really white, you're more like a dirty white person." O_O Literally, tears were rolling down my face… So many funny… That's been like a few years and that ish is STILL funny. THAT is what friends are for. lol

il Duce the Grand Na

I'm too old for all this…..I'm not Sam Jackson, Denzel or Fish……that means I don't do performances.

If a brawd think I'm too nice……..she can step.

If a brawd thinks I'm arrogant……she can step.

I strive to live a life consistent with my values and beliefs. Other than that…..I make no promises execpt this……..I can only be me. So if I'm not what you want….step.

You'll drive yourself crazy tryin to be what a women thinks she wants……..

“You’ll drive yourself crazy tryin to be what a women thinks she wants……..”

This line is the best advice for any young man out there…

Cosign!!!

JusMe

Lol cause this is all so true. My boyfriend is a rude ash ninja and I'm smooth with it, partially because I'm a rude ash chick. Our conversations be hilarious as hell to me cause we r just some rude mothaluffas. We see it as bein real and not holdin our tongues. There are times where the rudeness comes out at the wrong time and I'll let him kno but I mean I don't get mad, cause I kno him. But him being rude isnt what defines him. Like that's not the first thing people think of when he's mentioned. He's still sweet, respectable, and whatnot. It's just he doesnt sugarcoat or hold his tongue.

monalisa81

First of all youngestMilfs comment almost sent me to an early grave!!! That's one of those yall rude boys need to watch out for cause she talking about wrecking your whole world lol but she was straight up and I like that!!!
Now, to my actual point lol whether I agree or disagree, I never knock a persons hustle! If rude works for you then run with it lol The definition of rude really varies from person to person anyway. I've been told I was rude for simply being honest & upfront. Some folks just don't like truth. If you don't think, or feel what they believe you should annnnnnnd you dare to tell them….omg break out the bulletproof vests!!! Thankfully I have my own lil Mrs. IDGAF so when they get in their feelings I just tell em to suck it!!!!

cynicaloptimist81

<blockquote cite="comment-311840">

monalisa81: The definition of rude really varies from person to person anyway. I’ve been told I was rude for simply being honest & upfront. Some folks just don’t like truth. If you don’t think, or feel what they believe you should annnnnnnd you dare to tell them….omg break out the bulletproof vests!!!

Speak it, SPEAK IT! *church wave*

I've been called overly opinionated, judgmental, smart mouthed…and if I had a dollar for every "You don't know what to say out of your mouth" and "why'd you say that to ___" I've heard, I'd be wealthy, lol. And my general response to both…"What???! It's the truth!"

People are just too sensitive these days, lol…

NinaFontaine

" I'm bout to take my earrings off, get me some vaseline……… cause you're getting in the way of what i'm feeling"

I've always know this deep down but for you to verbalize it makes it SUCK ARSE!

However I appreciate the honesty.

There is a distinction between being rude and mean………give me a "rude boy" all day I will cut your arse if you're mean!

I have the capacity to be rude, but I choose otherwise. It jsut isnt in my nature. When people deserve it though…

#ALLRUDEEVERYTHING

Melody

Why be rude? How about show you better than that and act like a person. Yes the post was funny yet disturbing to know you think it's ok to be this way. Sounds more disrespectful than rude so the title should change.

Jaci

I like this post. I think it's saying something everybody needs to hear.

What I am curious about is why do black men have to be rude? As in, is Rude Black Man becoming the new Angry Black Woman? Is there some correlation between the two?

I'm just curious…

Starita34

Do you honestly see this as a problem? Sincerely, I'm not being flip. Do you actually think that Black men in general are more rude than other subgroups?

Jaci

I think I have been misunderstood. I've had some serious interaction and some casual interaction with gentlemen from this blog, others and by golly in the real world.

I don't find them to be any more rude than I do any other subgroup, much like I didn't find black women any angrier. The ABW stereotype was a huge day to day discussion 2-3 years ago. Lately that has died. My question has is the RBM stereotype going to replace that one? Note my use of the word stereotype. I don't believe it. Are there rude black men out there? Angry black women? OF COURSE! That doesn't mean everyone is one. Furthermore, I don't think Dr. J qualifies as one in any realm. These things are all relative.

I see no problems. I give no effs.

Starita34

*breathes a sigh of relief*

Thanks for clarifying.

O_D

Jaci I don't think there should even be a "rude black man" trend being set. This has been a struggle for ages…"nice guys finish last" wasn't first spoken yesterday, and nor was it spoken specifically by an infuriated NICE black man.

Here's a pretty f*cked up story that just happened 2 days ago:

My friend *cough* co-worker * is a serious pushover and his wife has whipped and mindf*cked him to the point of abuse and insanity. Them and one of his "close" friends and I went out to eat and this dude was so far beyond "rude" he was downright scum of the earth disrespectful. Everything was "I would f*ck that, f*ck this, eat that p****… look at those 3 Lesbo chicks over there". I mean the most derogatory sh*t I've ever heard in public in my life, and he was loud as all hell, didn't give a phuck.

Now my friends wife is decently attractive/cute and this 'a*shole' dude would be considered a pretty sexy cat, i guess.

Long story short all 3 of them got pretty FN tipsy the other night and my co-worker basically watched his so called 'friend', the as*hole, smash his wife in from of him because he is such a damn pussy that even she kept proclaiming "I can do anything I want and he won't divorce my ass". The two of them are husband and wife for gods sake and he gets s*x about once a year if that, and look at this arrogant low life piece of shit asshole and he gets instant results like as if my friend, the husband isn't a human being with a p*nis.

Anybody can be perceived as rude. Ratio-wise, I don't think Black men are any more rude than any other race or ethnic group in the United States. Here's my thing though…

Putting energy into intentionally being rude so that you can impress in a 1-on-1 makes me feel some type of way. It's like you're purposely lowering expectations to make it easier for you to exceed them. "Let me not be me, so that then I can be me" sounds kinda…yeah.

I can cosign on point #1 to a certain degree. I wouldn't say I'm becoming more rude, but my patience for coddling and filtering is dwindling.lol. That's really all I got for today.

Me personally…..like I said….I don't do performances. I won't be grabbin your wrist or tellin you you need to go fix your hair just to ufck with your head.

I want the type of women that is perfectly fine with me just bein a nice guy.

Some of yall that admit to likin that rude stuff………will be the same ones talkin bout "men aint ish" 10 years from now. Be careful what you ask for.

Jaci

Kudos! I think this post is a reflection of what I'm trying to get out. Women like rude men. Deep down inside they want to be dominated and controlled. You say you don't all day and all day I'm going to call BS because that's woman nature. It's how we're built. You want someone to be nice to you BUT if a guy is nice like the gentleman above, then he's weak and simple minded. It's not until a rude man comes along you want to act right and then when you realize he really is like that, all of a sudden men ain't ish…

Maybe women should stop playing this game with themselves. Admit what they really want, why it's bad for them and then fix it we could get it right.

I don't know if that's all the way true. I think that a lot of women appreciate transparency in the men they date. I don't know if anyone is feeding them BS either. And I now a lot of women who are married to as*holes and happy for it. Because at least they know he's not giving them 93, when they really need 87.

But in terms of just messing with someone's head, I don't do that to women only. I do that to men too. It's nothing better than asking a dude before you go out, "Is that what you're wearing?"

It's just funny to see how they react.

Jaci

I appreciate transparency but a lot of women don't. They want you to pretend to be one thing or the other at some point. I like predictability (so far as personality is concerned).

I think, to some degree, messing with a person's head is necessary… somewhere I read it makes you a good sig other but there's a right and a wrong way to do that.

I'm over here rooooolling at this post. I appreciate a rude man because I am a rude woman. Exactly for all the reasons listed above too but most importantly #because I can. I don't know why I find it such a turn-on.

nianeek

I read this last night and laughed myself to sleep. I really don't see anything wrong with what Dr. J said because, well, its true.
I don't appreciate rude behavior being directed towards me either and for that reason I have no problem deflecting that energy right back.
You don't like arrogance in a black man? I feel you but I need the men in my circle to have IT. I need everyone in my circle to possess IT. You have to believe your own hype for the sake of making it as a black person today. Barack is arrogant and so is the dick Donald, the difference is the Barack has a quite confidence and well Donald Duck is a bit extra. Both are too set in their ways to change and why should they it works for them. With that being said, I think this "rudeness" working for Dr. J is why he might be doing well for himself. In addition he's a Libra right? As a Libra myself I've been know to be black or white. I don't really do the middle when disrespect or emotion is involved. The rational approach often times is the direct approach. Back to the Dr. J and Kanye of the world…
I applaud them for making it in a world where black men are often emotionally castrated to make it. There are so many black homosexual men where I work and a friend of mine and I were talking about this yesterday. I hypothesized that they're scared of black hetero men and the ones that are here are very very quite. Maybe the Dr. J approach isn't the best approach for everything but he said he wasn't like that all the time. I believe what he says about himself and I don't know him but I do enjoy his post. It makes me giggle and cringe at the same time. That's good writing.

Chrissy

Hmm so being rude and not having manners and just being an overall ass is a good thing? Especially when that is not your personality. You just trying to put on a show? People act wayyy too much. Then get made when someone doesnt 'keep it real' with them.

il Duce the Grand Na

Startin to remember why I rarley date anymore……..I woke up this morning single……and all I had to do all day was be me…….

NinaFontaine

HA HA i love it

Kema

I feel you… But maybe it would be nice also to have someone and wake in the morning and all you have to do is be yourself. I think you can get that as long as you are yourself during the dating process.

il Duce the Grand Na

No…….according to 90% of the women who read this blog I have to put the pimp hand down like Filmore Slim and insult them like Mike Epps. Only then will I be desirable.

All I wanted to do today was go to work and watch the ball game. But to be in a relationship I also have to perform like a dark skinned guy in a Tyler Perry movie.

I'll just keep waiting for a sane women to enter my life…………

**shakes head @ the tragic comedy of it all **

Lyrically Inclined

Dude,

eff the females who want to date guys that treat them like trash. They are many fishes in the sea. . . and Don't wait for the sane ones to come to your life, GET AT THEM.

Jaci

I can't believe it. You really are sane. Like really sane… I'm amazed.

I should call the news. A sane, not rude, black man who apparently has a job.

Who woulda thunk it?

il Duce the Grand Na

<blockquote cite="comment-311880">

Lyrically Inclined: Dude,eff the females who want to date guys that treat them like trash. They are many fishes in the sea. . . and Don’t wait for the sane ones to come to your life, GET AT THEM.

I aint gonna lie. At my age it often doesn't seem worth the trouble of lookin.

Problem is the crazy ones act just like the sane ones in the beginning.

cynicaloptimist81

It's not that ruff out here, il Duce, lol…

I think people are confusing brutal honesty, sarcasm, etc. with real rudeness. Maybe it's my age, but I don't want a Pimp for a boyfriend. I do, however, want a man who's willing to say what must be said and do what must be done…and be able to handle my brutal honesty and sarcasm. And, if necessary, get a bit ignant to make a point, lol. I don't want an Ike but I don't want a punk either…can't be a punk and the head of a household (if we get that far).

Moral of all this? Do and go for what works for you…and don't be discouraged or disheartened by what doesn't. 🙂

Well, that too… But when I said this… I was referring to the stories how a man changed is entire life for the better because he was in love with a particular woman who wouldn't put up with him if he was on BS…

Rick

<blockquote cite="comment-311869">

Mika:
It’s one thing to be rude…but you’re rude AND you can’t buy me a drink at the bar? No way.

With a rude guy (or smart guy in this case), its not that he can't buy you a drink, it's that he won't. Conversation is free. Don't you work too?

My point is that I'm not one of those women who would be with a rude guy unless he had something else to offer.

Lyrically Inclined

Maybe a disclaimer that says "before you read this Post, remember to BE YOURSELF" would have added a bit more clarity and reality to the post.

I'm saying this because young males in their early 20s can pop into this post seeing that it's a single-black-male blog and reckon they could take advices on dating and sh*t, only to come here and see that most female comments here are cosigning being rude to be a requirement in a man. Don't get me wrong, I can never hate on another man's tactics in bagging chicks; If being Kanye-esque is getting you p*ssy, then by all means more power to you, but not every dude was built to be cocky and rude– I'm not a rude dude, but I'm confident in myself to get girls. I don't do girls who see rudeness and arrogance as a turn-on because that's not who I am. So I feel it's best to just BE YOURSELF and don't imitate another dude's arrogance, just because everyone thinks he's awesome and getting females.

This is my first time posting, but not my first time visiting the site. I had a few thoughts whilst reading this post and the comments: 1. I'm too old for this mess. 2. I was clearly born into the wrong generation. 3. They say women play games? Huh man. 4. This is the epitome of foolishness.

If we follow your logic, then Bill Gates n'em should just be smackin hoes as they walk up and down the street cause they've worked "harder than the rest" and they've "earned" it. If you don't want to buy a woman a drink, then don't. If you don't want to treat women with a modicum of respect, then don't. But please don't cloak it in some, I'm a Black man who can read and write and am therefore the ish and I have options and you don't, swallow it and like it, mess. Like someone said above, don't be doin shows on my account. Be rude across the board. Be rude with that nig who just got out. Be rude to that old lady tryna get out the door. Kick a child in his shins…

DiDi: Be rude with that nig who just got out. Be rude to that old lady tryna get out the door. Kick a child in his shins…

**dies then rises back up and packs up computer and heads home from work**

cynicaloptimist81

Hands down, funniest comment ALL DAY!!!

QueenT

I'm chiming in all late…but, I would like to add that I love a rude azz man….I like to call it "realness"…I am currently, dating a rude azz man…and he keeps me on point! He is the most rude person I have ever met in my entire life….I am constantly saying :"you are so rude"….lol. But, he is also the realest man that I ever met…no cut card…..no, biting his tongue…all the way live with it…and I love it! Not saying he doesn't get on my nerves sometimes because HE does…but, I respect the rudeness..because it's so friggin real…he has me cracking up most times..because rude people are very, very, funny….I laugh alot!

Would it be rude of me to ask if he's also been delivering some good tapback? It sounds like it. No hate. I'm happy for you and I'm sure he lets you finish, but this may be the most excited I've seen you in all time!

All time!

QueenT

YES..to that question….Slim!

Larry

Wait a minute…'YES' to it'd be rude to ask or 'YES' that he's been delivering some good tapback? lol.

QueenT

YES to the good tapback! lol

QueenT

I know some people disliked my comment…and I have been reading over some of the other posts…and a lot of the women aren't really feeling the "rude" thing…..but, I think there is such a fine line in describing what is considered rude…we may need an etiquette book on that…but, I don't mean unkind or disrespectful…I mean just really outspoken and brutally honest…..I like that. I have dealt with some fake men who held their tongue..used me to fight their battles…always trying to be politically correct..sit down with that. Give me a really honest, rude person…any day.

yeah but I think there is a difference between the rudeness you are describing and the just straight up @sshole shit that DrJ. is talking about. I think that many people can respect and appreciate someone keeping it real, being honest and calling you on your shit, but being deceiving (like the buying a drink situation) and being a fcuking jerk (like throwing her clothes out of the room) is just not cool. I agree with Slim and WIM, its tolerable to be "rude" if thats just your personality, and sometimes its funny, but to do it intentionally is just fcuked up and I don't like to associate with that kind too much.

Marciona88

I have always attracted good men in my life for some reason. I can't do rude men. I like nice men. But to each its own. I like your writing skills Mr. J!

@il Duce the Grand Nagus,

I aint gonna lie. At my age it often doesn’t seem worth the trouble of lookin.

Problem is the crazy ones act just like the sane ones in the beginning.

il Duce I am sure you will be okay in the love department. There are plenty of women that are not crazy as I am sure you have discerned in your life. There is a SANE lady God designed specifically for you.

Semi-random but there's an option to like this post. Lol when a comment isn't enough, #iLikeThatShit.

KAPSpecial

@YoungestMILF
In your comment you said you're certifiable, crazy and lack self control so why is suggesting therapy backwards? I think the behavior Dr. J described is annoying and I would not be amused. But the mess you described will land your behind on the 6 o'clock news, jail, or with a toe tag.

So your comment was good for shock value and funny in that sitcom/movie (not for real) kinda way. I'm well aware that this behavior happens everyday but I don't think it should be applauded.

In these scenarios you have to take responsibility for your own role in shenanigans. No one owes you a drink. If a dude asked you what you were drinking, then placed a drink order w/o including your drink. Why you punishing him? Punish yourself for getting all giddy over a free drink and then having EXTREME emotions when you don't get the free drink. Personally I would 1) buy my own drink and keep talking to dude or 2) buy my own drink and walk away salty. Plus who throws drinks??!?

Why would you keep talking to someone who hangs up on you repeatedly? Male or female you only hanging up on me twice. After. The 1st time I'm go let you know how I feel about and after the 2nd time I' NEVER TALKING TO THAT PERSON ON THE PHONE AGAIN.

KAPSpecial

@YoungestMILF
In your comment you said you're certifiable, crazy and lack self control so why is suggesting therapy backwards? I think the behavior Dr. J described is annoying and I would not be amused. But the mess you described will land your behind on the 6 o'clock news, jail, or with a toe tag.

So your comment was good for shock value and funny in that sitcom/movie (not for real) kinda way. I'm well aware that this behavior happens everyday but I don't think it should be applauded.

In these scenarios you have to take responsibility for your own role in shenanigans. No one owes you a drink. If a dude asked you what you were drinking, then placed a drink order w/o including your drink. Why you punishing him? Punish yourself for getting all giddy over a free drink and then having EXTREME emotions when you don't get the free drink. Personally I would 1) buy my own drink and keep talking to dude or 2) buy my own drink and walk away salty. Plus who throws drinks??!? Why waste liquor or money? And if a dude is simple enough to pull that drink rope-a-dope move he might be simple enough to fight a girl in the club.

Why would you keep talking to someone who hangs up on you repeatedly? Male or female you only hanging up on me twice. After the 1st time I'm go let you know how I feel about it and after the 2nd time I'M NEVER TALKING TO THAT PERSON ON THE PHONE AGAIN.

And what is the dude doing while you're wrecking his entire wardrobe?!?! Just chilling?!? Or is he politely asking you to stop?

While I rarely find these violent /destructive outbursts acceptable there are times when I understand (an S.O. cheats, gives you an STD, beats you, etc.), but none of the scenarios you described seemed warranted. Stop dealing with rude/inconsiderate/disrespectful folks. If you choose to deal with them, then you only have yourself to blame. Good luck with all the drama. Now you stay safe (Suze Orman).

I just really don't know what to say to this post….I initially wanted to just write you off but then you reminded me of this guy I used to date. He was my first love and when we first me he was rude, brutally honest…whatever you want to call it but he had a good heart. He wasn't rude just to be rude or hurt people, he really had their best interests at heart and I knew he was a good person. we broke up when we went to college and we remained friends (sometimes special friends) but I noticed with all of the extra attention from ladies he began to change and just start doing and saying rude shit on purpose and just became kind of an @sshole. Because of this we grew more and more apart and while we aren't as close as we once were I remember who is really is at his core. I think that being a smart, driven and intelligent black man (and an Alpha) made his head big, and there are always girls around that will tolerate him. Because I love and care about him I hope that one day he grows out of this and returns to being the person that I know he can be.

Anyway, I said all that to say that I am sure that you being an intelligent, driven, good looking black man with no shortage of women around has somewhat shaped your rude personality and while its not really an excuse, if I was in your shoes I am not sure if I would do anything different, but I hope that you, like my friend has a good core and that you are essentially a good caring person. While I don't like the rudeness and I think that it is unnecessary I can't completely hate you for this post.

I was cussed out today by a black man who didnt know my name. The great injustice I did him??? Simply refuse to cross two lanes of traffic so he could get his rap on. Yes we do have other options. I have not will not am not even considering dating a black. I could give a damn what kind of education, job or money he has. I refuse to deal with black men on any level. REGARDLESS of what he thinks he is very replaceable. OH yea I been married and been asked by white men. White men have jobs other than drug dealer, truck drivers and foot ball players. OH yea I forgot rap stars. I do not have white men sitting on their fat asses calling me everything but a child of gawd cause he was too disrespectful to get out of his car and speak to me like a lady. Would I tell my daughter to marry a black man HELL NAW. DATE one NO not for all the tea in china. In fact I would be greatly disappointed if she settle for one. BUT that is just me.

If a woman wants the most common low class under educated believing his own lies man who will do shit for you then go ahead grab yourself up one of the many do nothing ass brothers out there. IF you want better consider other races.

Hi black men rude
My name is pris west. Don’t matter how rude to each others how hurts from many normals peoples
Others groups. I don’t. Care pies of shit what the bullshit than well I. Hate normals groups it talk feel
Be friendlys an answers of those q? I love psylo rude lazy mens.

christine

what a complete idiot. zero class. absolute turn off. no classy sexy woman would put up with some loser like that

Niggerlover

Love how you niggers think you're coming up in the world. You're still just puppets on strings, even when you break free you'll just end up with six kids on food stamps, and you know it too. At the end it's about what the majority sit back and let you get up to, not about your own personal freedom.

Never

Ob gosh so tiring. ManBoy Narcissism. Tis all…

Petunia

Oh, well. I hope this entire post is meant as a sardonic tongue-in-cheek misappropriation of black ghetto types.

If not, then simply thank you for providing more proof of the "Race and Intelligence" academic concerns that constantly keep getting validated.

Monkey

Idiot negro, it is from reading black thrash like this that people call blacks stupid niggers.

ZBreezy

I cannot begin to tell you how many dudes I have said "later" to that act rude only to have them call me and email me later once they realize that I am really done.

Here was a good one: "Oh, I'm used to women sticking around and complaining." LMAO. Another good one: "Oh, I see the problem. It's because I'm a man."

And therein lies the problem. This is becoming the definition of a black man, for some. I suspect that the writer is smarter than all this, but some dumb ass is going to read this and take it for the gospel.

And then when ya'll are ready to settle down, you're 40-plus and many women think that you're gay or something is wrong with you by this time because you've had so many women to choose from, although I try not to stereotype/generalize. Because do you really want a woman who will accept this behavior from you?

ashley

This is idiotic – totally embarassing. Do you think Obama, who you mentioned as inspiration, would cosign this ignorance? Who would want someone with that many chips on their shoulders in any position of leadership. I assume you are not in one. I hope his second term as President does something to shift the mindsets of future generations of African American males. In the mean time, so glad I’m Canadian and not surrounded by this. I only date males who treat people with respect – period. So I’m not coming from a bitter place. However, your post is just embarassing in a “we’re related” sorta way. Do some self-reflection. It’s not an issue of “manners.” Treating others poorly says little of your character and a lot about how you feel about YOURSELF. It is rarely exusable. Not a very centered way of navigating the world. I know it supposed to be sort of funny, but since it wasn’t really funny, I figured it deemed an even less funny response.

ashley

I also am flabbergasted at how proud you are of accomplishments that are standard for many black, female collegiates and professionals. Black men need to stop patting themselves on the back for nothing and being so self-involved. I think you accomplisjments are good, but I mean, pretty standard when I look at most of my female peers. They are cancelled out by your character once it reveals itself. I don’t want to sit her and get down on you just .. Soul search my brother. Your kind is in the majority apparently (hence the post), but it doesn’t make it a good path. Rise above! And while I’m at it, I wish African-American males would be more supportive to their females. Not financially I mean in terms of the hateful words that fly around about them in terms of appearance, this that and the other. Observe it, but save that talk. It’s so embarassing for black people as a whole. Do you hear white men saying things like that about their women? Or getting down on eachother the way black guys do to one another? My 22yr old self is just having shock after shock as I start seeing how much negative vibrates through the world. Spread love people! Ps I do not discredit what you’ve achieved. Well done. But…you know.

toogood

If this article is going to be this long, you really ought to explain why some people's comfort zones bother you so much. Why do some people need to be put in their places? Sure, it might provide you with some sick, sadistic entertainment, but why is it a need? This seems to be a theme with many Black people – violate people's comfort zones/expectations and upset other people for no real reason at all. See, I'm disabled, and I can't read people's emotions or motives very well. People of all races like to exploit me – trick me, aim humor at me, play games with me that I can't even describe because I'm so baffled by them – but Black people seem to especially enjoy it. I don't appreciate it, and guess what – I don't respond to it by going home, sitting in a dark corner, and thinking twice about why I chose to be disabled. The abuse doesn't teach me a thing except how mean people are. Oh, and by the way, thank you for reminding me why I quit dating years ago. I'm not looking for you to buy me a drink, anyway. Actually, I'd rather you not do anything for me except leave me alone because you sound to me like a sociopath.

Oh, and should you choose to respond to this, I'll tell you three things: A, I probably won't come back to this site to read the response (and I quite frankly don't care if that's "cowardly"). B, I'm too classy for profanity and sexual stuff, just in case you were thinking of getting foul with me. I don't deserve it. And, C, I am not trying to be funny here, which means that this comment is not – I repeat, not – humorous even if you post "LOL" or "ROTF" a hundred times. Oh, and don't mock my writing style, either; there's nothing wrong with it.

Ishtar

I don't know why women get turned on by jerks, I sure don't! My heart hates what my "other" drive does as well, those gangsta swag types I abhor so deep.

Caramel Sundae

This blog is perfect! Makes me feel justified in the fact that for the past five years I exclusively dated white men and now am engaged to one. Black men are selfish, rude, IGNORANT, trifling, broke, poor, ugly and disgusting. Just a waste of time, but not mine 🙂

NMBE

And that is why I don't date black guys. I don't even refer to them as men. REAL men know that being a childish prick is the fastest way to end up old and alone.

Tina

Black men are worthless and this article is proof! Straight from the horses mouth!

Joy

I stopped dating them as well. Good to know I'm not alone in my views. Their attitudes has been a total turn-off. Can't understand if it's a combination of bad parenting to pure ignorance that make them who they are. I found pursuing relationships with them requires becoming their doormat. God forbid if I put them on the back burner for men who will treat me better. I appreciate men of all races. I just avoid black men–based on unpleasant experiences.

Black Men are sick

I have witnessed HUNDREDS of instances where black men were VIOLENTLY rude. One example is a guy who found someones phone (i can confirm he did NOT know this person) and threatened to fight if that person tried to ask for it back. Another is this big ass 20something who let the door slam on an older black woman.

Weeks later I saw him hold the door for a pretty white girl with a smile

One of the worst was when I was on the bus and a disabled black man needed a seat. None of the black men
budged but a random hispanic man offered the seat.

Even ghetto spanish men have somewhat more manners.

Black men only show manners to petite white girls at least where I am from.

smh

This does not apply to black men when they interact with BLONDE white women. A black man will do cart wheels to please a blonde. But they’ll call black women who are “too dark” nasty Names

Black men are always ready to fight too. Smh so many handsome black guys out here with ugly things to say