Tips, moans, whines and anything I want to store that may help me or other people.

Thursday, 2 November 2017

Holiday Accommodation

Holiday accommodation should be comfortable and if you're booked into a hotel with a twin or double room, that indicates there are two of you and two seats should really be available. But now we move onto the most important things, toilets and showers.

A toilet should have ample space around it for you to sit comfortably. there should be room for you to spread a bit for those difficult movements and in an ideal toilet there should be pieces of wood that you can use to bite on when the going gets tough.

I propose a toilet quality indicator called BMI, that Bottom Movement Indicator, the only way to get a 10 is to provide the pieces of wood. At the lower end of the scale we have portaloos and such like, to get a zero it would have to be quite bad and would mean you have to push yourself into am incredibly narrow gap and then have to dislocate an arm to be able to be able to reach around for the paper. I have encountered a toilet which went below this in Kenya, when I say toilet I mean a structure with a hole in the ground, the structure being moved whenever the hole filled up.

The other important thing with a toilet is the flush, several years back in Kefalonia we had a toilet which would have reached a BMO of 8 if the flush had been any better. When the handle was pressed a small whirlwind was created above the water level, unsecured objects in the room were dragged into this maelstrom and after about 20 minutes it died down. Nothing had moved in the toilet itself. At least twelvty flushes were required.

Now we move onto the Orkney scale for showers, to achieve a 10 the water pressure should pin you to the wall and cleanse you completely without the need for soap. A score of 0 started this off with a shower we had on holiday in Orkney. You turned the shower on and after an hour or so a few dribbles would emerge from the shower head at a temperature close to freezing. The shower was fixed and went up to an Orkney 1, the newly repaired shower vibrated furiously before discharging a luke warm driblle over you. The vibrations from the air were more likely to clean you that the water.

Just bear these things in mind when you go on holiday and all will be well.