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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Contest!

Scene:You and your lover and relaxing in the semi-nude. S/he is running his/her hands through your hair and you decide to remove your pants. Because you are sexy folk the lights are on. After being deliciously dazed by your silkily-haired legs, his/her eyes drop to your upper thighs and through damp, plump lips he/she breathes, "What's that brown stuff?"

"Baby, it's called 'urban sprawl'. I have not only decided to eschew the Brazilian, I've elected to let things go, clear on down from crotch to mid-thigh. A lady needs all the warmth she can get during these long, dark days of winter."

What brown stuff? Oh that, yeah I tend to crap my pants when I get excited. I had an accident as a child that causes loose bowels. This isn't going to be a problem, is it? It's just a little poop, well diarrhea. I had Taco Bell earlier.