Thursday, February 26, 2009

Before we get to a truly heroic edition of the links, I had a couple personal notes I wanted to add to today's post...

-- First off, a happy 30th birthday to my buddy Tom, who looks like he's 49, acts like he's 19 and drafts a fantasy football team like he's never seen and NFL game in his life. Happy birthday, buddy.

-- Also, I want to send a big contrats to my former coworker at the Albany Herald, Mr. Scott Chancey, who won an APSE award for a game story he wrote last year, and to my replacement at the Albany Herald, Mr. Paul Dehner, who in addition to his fine UGA coverage this year, penned a fantastic series of stories on former Westover High basketball star Dontonio Wingfield. The series earned Paul an APSE award for project writing.

You can check out all the APSE award winners HERE if you're interested in such things. I was a little miffed that I didn't win one for "Best Live Blog Post Making Fun of Tim Tebow While Using Excessive Circumcision References" until I was informed there was no such category. I'm going to lobby for that addition in 2010 though.

Also, if you followed Georgia prep basketball in the early '90s and remember Dontonio Wingfield's dominance, I highly recommend taking the time to go back and read the stories that earned Paul the award. Here's Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.

Now, on to today's links...

-- OK, so winning two of four games isn't usually something to celebrate, but Bulldogs fans can be proud of the effort Georgia showed in beating Vandy last night.

-- I'll be very interested to hear the reaction from Bulldogs fans to Terence Moore's latest column on Asher Allen's post-Georgia life. I generally really enjoy Terence's work, but I don't see a single argument here for why leaving school was the right choice for Asher other than the fact that Terence likes him.

-- Of course, the big Charles-related news is that apparently I am now part of the recruiting process. And after reading this, I'm honestly not sure if that's supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing. I'm guessing bad though. (And boy, if I had known this was going to happen, I'd have proof read the story more carefully and not used the word "notion" twice in the first sentence.)

-- Just when I was starting to wonder if the grueling offseason workouts had taken their toll on Jeff Owens' blog, he has a great post up today listing his top five all-time Georgia players. The stories of Greg Blue and Knowshon Moreno on the practice field are a perfect example of why it's great that Owens has this blog.

-- While you're visiting Georgia Sports Blog, be sure to read this post on offseason arrests that includes some absolutely hilarious quips from Paul. The dig about the speed of Big 10 police not matching that of the SEC was comedy gold.

-- Speaking of off-field problems, Ole Missdismissed two players from the team for a "violation of team rules." (By the way, this post may contain a record number of "speaking of..." segues.)

-- Bryce Massanari's grand slam helped get the Diamond Dogs off to a 5-0 start to their season.

-- Two days ago, ESPN golf writer Jason Sobelchatted with the guys over at 960 the Ref. Then yesterday, he makes a somewhat inappropriate boner joke in his ESPN blog. I have absolutely no doubt there is a direct correlation between these two events. (And by the way, if we're not going to be allowed to make boner jokes in a live blog, I might as well just turn in my laptop now.)

-- One of the great things about baseball these days is the advancement in statistical analysis being done by a bunch of stat geeks all over the world. From OPS to VORP to a bunch of other numbers I don't remotely understand, only in baseball could math be so interesting. But I think this new theoretical research is perhaps the most groundbreaking work done in recent years. It's the Alyssa Milano Effect.

-- Speaking of baseball, I can't tell you how much I hate when people say the sport needs a salary cap. Look at this story from the NFL and you'll see why a salary cap stinks. Look at the NBA trade deadline and notice that the most valuable commodities are scrubs with expiring contracts and you'll see why the salary cap stinks. Then look at how many different teams have made the playoffs and played in the World Series since 2001 and you'll see that the current system isn't so bad after all.

-- Jerry Seinfeld is coming back to NBC... sort of. I loved this quote from NBC president Ben Silverman from the article: "Jerry called us up and told us he had an idea," Silverman said. "We were laughing the whole time as they went through the concept." So, you see, I get in an accident, and the guy has no insurance, so the judge decrees that he becomes my butler!

-- I opened with some personal notes, and I'm going to end on one, too. If you have no interest in pointless stories that have nothing to do with Georgia sports, feel free to move on with your day. If, however, you're excited to waste five minutes of your day reading my snide remarks about a former coworker, then enjoy...

Back before I got into sports writing, I spent two years living in San Diego, where my official job title would probably best be described as "bum." I worked roughly 18 different jobs while I was out there, ranging from accountant to nightclub bouncer, but the only one that I really cared about was a job I landed working in public relations for a minor league hockey team. It was my first opportunity to work in sports, and my first taste of writing sports stories on a deadline. In many ways, it's the job that set me on the path that led me here.

While I learned a ton during my tenure with the hockey team, it was far from all work. I spent large chunks of my days playing baseball trivia games with my boss, making fun of foreign players with funny sounding names, and taking extended lunch breaks at an all-you-can-eat soup and salad place that gave us free dining coupons as part of their sponsorship agreement with the team. It was a sweet gig.

Anyway, in addition to myself and my boss, the public relations department consisted of a small group of unpaid interns. As unpaid interns tend to do, several stopped showing up as our season went along, and we were forced to bring in some new recruits. One of these newbies was a kid by the name of Richard.

In the years I've worked in sports, I've realized that the industry tends to attract arrogant jerks, but before I learned that important life lesson, Richard was my personal posterboy for obnoxious coworkers.

I have since developed a theory that everyone who graduated from the University of Virginia is a complete and total tool -- a little something I call the Richard Rule. Typical of most UVA grads, he was an arrogant jackass, who lacked any sort of basic respect for the people around him because, as a UVA grad, he most certainly was smarter than any of them anyway.

During our brief tenure working together, he managed to anger just about every full-time employee of the team for one reason or another, including telling my boss that he would be happy to proof read any press releases because my boss clearly didn't know how to write. At one point Richard insisted all elipses should include a space before the ... and no space after. (As in, "Richard was a total tool ...And he was also a moron.") A quick perusal of a basic AP Style Guide was not enough to convince him otherwise, given that he did, after all, graduate from UVA, so he clearly knew more than the folks at the Associated Press.

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what event brought the contemptuous relationship between Richard, my boss and I to a head, but suffice it to say that he was informed his services were no longer needed. It takes a lot to fire a guy who doesn't earn a salary, but that's what it had come to.

So a day or two went by, and my boss and I received an email from Richard. Rather than simply take his termination lying down, he had a counter offer. He challenged us to an intern decathalon, which consisted of various stupid stunts requiring varying degrees of athletic or intellectual prowess. Looking back, the whole thing would have been amusing if he hadn't been such a cocky jackass to begin with.

Anyway, I had completely forgotten about this until yesterday, when my former boss sent me a link to this blog post.

Now, before you read it, there are a few things I need to clarify, as the writer of this blog has not shared the true story:

1.) Despite the implication from this blogger, my former boss was EXACTLY the type of person who valued a "willingness to dream up wacky stunts." Our game night competitions to see how many times we could use the term "bug-a-boo" in one press release should attest to that.

2.) Richard's insistance that he was shunned because he insulted the intelligence of a female intern whom my boss had a crush on is simply untrue. My boss actually had a crush on every female intern we had working for us, so there was absolutely no special treatment given to any one in particular.

3.) If Richard "gets along famously" with everyone else, I can only assume it is because he only associates with other UVA grads. Either that, or people are nice to him because they are under the assumption he is mentally challenged.

4.) While Richard has apparently "toured the country" in the years since this event, my former boss is now working in PR for the Los Angeles Kings and, obviously, I have gone on to reach the pinnacle of sports journalism.

5.) Please also keep in mind Richard's propensity toward correcting my boss's grammar when reading his letter. I suppose the spelling and grammar check in Microsoft Word is rendered useless when you assume you know the English language better than the program does.

Anyway, you may now feel free to enjoy this blast from my past, and while I would certainly never encourage you to leave insulting comments on someone else's blog, I also will not think less of you should you decide on your own to do so.

Haha... that intern thing is great. I've known some arrogant, undertalented guys like that before... at least he had a sense of humor about it, despite his douchyness. That decathalon reads like something out of a bad comedy flick.

Your problem with the Jacksonville traffic is coming from downtown. If you come from the north, you will find it's not a problem. Especially with a few short cuts I've picked up over the years. Jacksonville may be one of the easiest SEC venues to get in and out of for me.

However, I could see why Low would hate it. Being stuck in traffic with a lot of slimy, nasty Gators would be the pits.

Dave,Can Richard be a dick and douche at the same time? Or more importantly, is it grammatically correct to refer to him as both in the same sentence. Dicky douche or doucey dick? What about immature wanker and we all go home happy. As my dear mother(the quinitessential southern belle) would say, "that boy acts common as gully dirt." Have one on me Dave, as recompense for having to put up with this turdknocker then and now.

Haha, come on guy. You guys didn't get along, Richard tried to be funny about it on his way out the door, you guys were taking yourselves too seriously and not having any of it. Fine.

It's just a stupid, funny story looking back. We were all dumber five years ago than we are now. If your point of writing this long, defensive diatribe telling "your side of the story," and have guys write "hilarious" different variations of the word "douche" was to prove that you are STILL a guy who is defensive and takes himself too seriously, then kudos, well done.

Oh, and having a "blog" where you are STILL writing shit filled with typos is just the icing on the ironic cake. They are literally all over. This was honestly the SECOND SENTENCE the day I tried to find your posting:

"Of note, that Michael Moore who chimes in at the beginning when Cox is asked what his biggest weakness is."

The lack of VERB is just a typo, but the rest of the sentence is the work of a man who doesn't have a firm grasp of the language. I'm sorry, guy, but you just don't. I think Georgia is the only state in the Union where you could call yourself a "writer" without someone thinking you were telling a joke.

But then again, they wouldn't know about that hilarious bug-a-boo game you played once.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Seth Emerson has been covering the SEC and Georgia (on and off) since 2002. He worked at the Albany Herald from 2002-05, then spent five years at The State in Columbia, S.C., covering South Carolina. He returned to Athens in August of 2010, only to find that David Pollack and David Greene were no longer playing for the Bulldogs. Adjustments were made. Emerson is originally from Silver Spring, Md., and graduated from Maryland in 1998 with a degree in journalism and a minor in getting lost on the way to practically everywhere. Then he spent four years at The Washington Post, covering small colleges, a couple NCAA basketball tournaments, and on one glorious day, was yelled at by Tony Kornheiser. It was probably at The Post that he also learned to write in the third person.These days he lives in Athens with his beloved and somewhat wimpy dog, Archie. Together they fight crime at night in northeast Georgia, except on nights there is no crime, in which case they sit at home, sip on white wine and watch reruns of "Mad Men."