Pretty Understandable: Chance The Rapper Is Taking Back All His Money He Gave To Chicago Public Schools To Pay The Witch Who Turned Him Into A Fox

December 19, 2017

In recent years, Chance the Rapper has received almost as much attention for his philanthropy as his music, having made a number of large donations to the public schools in his hometown of Chicago. But, unfortunately, it now looks like all of his generosity might end up being for naught, as the Grammy-winning rapper just announced that he is taking back all the money he gave to Chicago Public Schools to pay the witch who turned him into a fox.

Wow. While this is obviously a huge bummer for the schools that have received his donations, you can’t really blame Chance for doing what he needs to do.

The critically acclaimed recording artist, who was recently transformed into a small red fox by a cruel and greedy witch, made the difficult announcement this morning that he will have to take back all of the $2.2 million he donated to Chicago Public Schools in order to pay the enchantress the full ransom she’s demanding to return him to his human form. As an artist who famously gives all of his music away for free, Chance explained that he doesn’t have any savings from album sales he can fall back on and therefore has no choice but to reclaim the money he’s given to schools to avoid living out the rest of his days as a bushy-tailed forest critter bound by a witch’s spell.

“It absolutely breaks my heart to have to do this, but it’s literally the only way I can scrape together that kind of money by the next full moon, which is when the witch will otherwise make the curse permanent,” the rapper-cum-fox explained while being held up to a microphone by one of his assistants, his pointy ears drooping forward in a remorseful fashion. “I promise that I will double down on my efforts to help CPS in the future, but for the time being, I just really need that money back. Being a fox is much, much worse than you’d think it. There’s no whimsical Disney aspect to it—everything about it is a fucking nightmare.”

He then swiftly darted away to chase a passing bird.

While it’s definitely disappointing that under-resourced schools are going to have to part with some much-needed funding, at least the money will still be going toward a worthwhile cause. Here’s hoping the witch honors her end of the bargain and transforms Chance back into a human so that he can return to his music and philanthropy as soon as possible!