1. I talk to myself all the time. Loudly. With large gestures. It's highly embarrassing when I get caught.2. When I was little (3-4), I used to dig holes under our backyard fence so I could be free. My parents thought it was the dog and got rid of him. After they filled in the holes, I climbed on the dog house, into the nearby tree, swung off a branch over the fence and dropped into the field behind us.3. I like my pizza cold and my ice cream warm.4. I'm 43 years old and have a large collection of Harry Potter merchandise.5. A few years ago, I lived next to a church where the parishioners were so loud and obnoxious (they'd park in my driveway blocking my car, stay outside my window talking until 2am even though I politely asked them several times not to) so I finally got sick of it and squirted them with a water pistol. (Yes, I'm going to hell)6. I wanted to be a tree when I grew up. Still sounds like a good occupation.7. When I was about 4 or 5, I tried making my own shampoo and selling it door to door. When that didn't work, I went around the neighborhood and sold all my mother's underwear while she was in the shower. (It sold - you have to understand that my mother was HOT and wore sexy underwear.)8. I'm directionally challenged. I used to take "short cuts" on my way home from school and be lost for hours, even though I never recognized I was lost--I figured I'd get there eventually. Once my mother even had to call the police. 9. I'm still directionally challenged. (see #10)10. I don't know my right from my left. If you want me to look or turn a certain way quickly, I can't do it. I have to think about it for several seconds or ask somebody which way that is. I can handle N, E, S & W because those are fixed points, but I've never gotten a handle on left or right - confuses the heck out of me. I hate when I'm in heavy traffic and see a sign on the road that says "merge left" ahead because I never end up in the correct lane.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Magical Mondays: Mind Over Matter

Since I've been blogging a lot about the power of belief lately, I thought I'd share this experience. Last summer, I was having a lot of chest and back pain. I'd had back pain for many years but had resigned myself to living with it. Well, one day at work the pains were particularly bad, accompanied by symptoms of a heart attack, so I called my doctor and she sent me to the emergency room.Fortunately, it wasn't a heart attack, but they found a fracture in the upper middle of my back (which explained the chest pain). They also saw degenerative disk disease, arthritis, pinched nerves - you name it, they found it. I went to a spine specialist who looked at the xrays and took some more of his own, and he wanted me to wear a brace. He also wanted to run some more tests, because he thought it looked like I was born with spinal deformities. So, I had to go someplace else to pick up the brace--they aren't in. I had to schedule more tests and an MRI -- they couldn't get me in for three weeks.In the meantime, I was in a lot of pain. I remembered listening to a Wayne Dyer tape where he talked about his wife shrunk a thyroid tumor through visualization and diet. So every day I started telling myself I was not in pain and there was nothing wrong with my back. I pictured it healed and healthy. If I walked and felt pain, I kept saying to myself that I was NOT in pain and after a few minutes, I wouldn't be. Every night as I went to bed, I'd lie there for a long time telling myself there was nothing wrong with my back, picturing it as perfectly well, and saying "thank you" to the powers that be for healing it.Three weeks later, I had the other tests. There was nothing wrong with my back - it was just fine.

Right now I have a bit of a headache and stomache--but no, that's NOT true... repeat after me: I am NOT in pain. :)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Power of Hope

As I drove home from work yesterday, I realized a difference in the way I felt after I spoke with my boss/friend compared to how I'd felt when I'd arrived at work that morning. When I got in the car, I knew the difference was hope. I was still aggravated, still worried about how I could work things out, yet I felt ever so slightly different than I had before, and knew it was because there was the tiniest ray of hope. So small you'd miss it if you blinked, but it made a difference.

Last night, I started reading the book, "Making a Living Without a Job" by Barbara Winter, and went to bed at 1:30 am even more hopeful. I feel much better about going to work next week because now I have other things in mind which working there will help me accomplish.

The difference is that before I used tell myself that working there allows me to accomplish certain things: pay bills, buy food, have insurance, etc. But that still didn't make me happy. Mainly because it felt so final.

Now, I'm looking at it as, "Ok, I can get through this stressful week because it will not only give me the money to pay my bills and the insurance to go to the doctor, it will also fund the things that I know I will be doing soon that will make me happy. Then I will be leaving there to work for myself." You'd think that should have been obvious all along but it wasn't, because I didn't really have the hope or belief things would change. I didn't see how they could. I thought I was stuck.

However, one of the best things about this book so far was an example Barbara gave of how she was determined to go to England one year. She didn't have the money to do it, and didn't know how it could happen. But she didn't worry about the HOW. She focused on the WHAT. She visualized herself there every day. She got her passport renewed and put it on her dresser where she'd see it every day. She got travel brochures and guidebooks. She spent every evening planning her trip. She even made this daily affirmation: "I am going to London this year and it will be a gift." That's some affirmation - she didn't even say "I am going to London and I'll be able to afford it" she said it would be a gift.

She went on to enter every contest for a trip to London, but several months passed and nothing. Her birthday was in October, and she thought "Ok, maybe I'll get the gift for my birthday." Birthday came and went and no trip. A couple of weeks later a friend called, said she had a ticket for a trip to London that she wasn't going to be able to use, and would Barbara like to have it.

It took almost a year, but she got exactly what she wanted. She didn't worry about how it would happen, she just kept believing that it would. It reminded of the time I made a list of the job I wanted and even though I had no idea how that might happen, I carried it around with me all weekend anyway. By that Monday, I had news of it, and a few weeks later, I had the job. Funnily enough, that is now the job I want to leave. It has changed from the time I started--it's no longer the job I applied for and got--so I'm feeling it's time for me move on. Make a new list. And this time, I'm not going to worry so much about how I'll get there. I'll just have faith that I will.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Sink or Swim

Someone I work with mentioned today how many times she felt like she'd quit if she didn't have a mortgage, then went on to say that there were dreams she'd had of starting her own business, but was afraid to pursue it because she was afraid of not having enough money to get by in the beginning. She then said that she was starting to think that if she ever took the plunge, she'd probably work harder at it because it would be sink or swim. She was questioning whether to just forge ahead and damn the torpedoes, as several other people she knew had done.

I nearly fell over, because before she started talking, I had just been thinking that exact same thing. I keep telling myself to hang on a little longer, until I have enough money saved to last a while, but then some days I feel like I can't hold out a second longer. I've been wondering if I should just take the plunge and know that I had to make a success of what I wanted to do because there would be nothing to fall back on.

It's hard to balance dreams and responsibility. I have a responsibility to my daughter to make sure we have a roof over our heads along with food & clothing. I have a responsibility to the credit card companies I do business with to not file for bankruptcy. ;)

But don't I also have a responsibility to myself to live a good, full, and fulfilling life? Just how selfish can I be? Who'll care two thousand years from now if I quit my job or not? Of course, my daughter will care significantly for the next 4-8 years at least. (rest of high school & college) But to comment on the obvious: life is short, and nothing is guaranteed.

Today, Edie at Magical Musings asked the question, "Do you wake up planning on doing one thing and knowing you should do another?"

My answer: Every single day.

The question I ask is, what is it I trulyought to be doing? Recently (and unfortunately, I can't recall exactly where at this moment), I read that if at any time we ever desire to create--to play music, to write, to dance, to paint, even to start our own business--it is the Universal Spirit attempting to create through us; and should we heed this, we will be led in the right direction. I'd like to believe that. The risks are more than a little scary, though. Do I follow my dreams and perhaps fall on my face, or do I stay in a "safe" place (that could turn me loose at any moment anyway, should they fall into trouble) - how do I hedge my bets?Do you ever feel that way?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Power of Belief

I readthis articletoday about how believing an activity is exercise, and good for you, causes it to be more effective. The article said that people who think they're getting a good workout obtain more benefits than those who perform the exact same activities, but don't think what they are doing is exercise.

Harvard researchers did a study where hotel cleaners were told that their room cleaning each day was enough physical activity to maintain a healthy lifestyle. At the end of four weeks, they were more trim and fit than their peers who weren't given this message, even though they'd made no other changes in their lifestyles. It reminded of another article I'd read a long time ago showing that muscles could receive the benefits of exercise just by a person's thinking about exercising them. Someone studied a group who did nothing different except visualize themselves exercising, and some weeks later, their muscles had grown.This brings me back to the discussions of the power of visualization and positive thinking that I've been involved in on other blogs, as well as here. Boob Wishes, for instance; the book, "Write it Down, Make it Happen"; The Secret. All of these things, (and including many religious traditions) seem to work off the premise: thoughts have power. Picture it, believe it, and it will happen.

Now, I'm off to picture my headache going away, as well as myself being fit and trim. :)Goodnight all.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Feeling guilty...

I missed Magical Mondays yesterday because I'm not feeling well. In fact, I'm home from work sick today. ...yet for some strange reason, I'm here in front of the computer... Okay, in my defense, I had to get on to see if my daughter's school closed because of the snow (they didn't - woohoo! I get to go back to bed in peace.) Bad mother!

Anyway, I've got some good stuff for future MM's that I hope to get up there at some point. In the meantime, though, I've got a question going at my other blogthat I'd really like for people to answer if they'd be so kind. Michelleand Edie got me curious about something and now I want answers, darnit. :)

(From Reuters)For women, apparently there's nothing like the smell of a man's sweat.

Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley said women who sniffed a chemical found in male sweat experienced elevated levels of an important hormone, along with higher sexual arousal, faster heart rate and other effects. Apparently, it also elevates mood and contributes to an overall sense of well-being.

Can't say that sour oniony smell ever did it for me quite like that. Give me a man fresh out of the shower, still smelling of shampoo and his own sweet (clean) self. That will get my heart rate going, among other things. :)

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Romance

I was blog hopping this morning through some of my favorites, still a little crabby from a long, hard week, still questioning whether I should even attempt to write romance being the cynic I am, and came across this.