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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

In an amazing turn of events, Chuck Woolery sent Pat Sajak packing. With 85.7% of the votes Chuck wins by a landslide. It turns out that Pat Sajak is actually a mere puppet made of wood and Vanna White has been controlling the strings this whole time. I had a sneaking suspicion that Vanna was the brains behind The Wheel of Fortune but I could never prove it.

After 7 grueling weeks we are now down to our final battle between Bob Barker and Chuck Woolery. They both just had some rice pudding and we are now just waiting for them to wake up from their naps. Hey, a nap sounds pretty good right about now but as the host of this program I am not allowed to participate in a nap, it's in my contract. I can't remember why I agreed to such a preposterous agreement. I think I had to choose between naps and alligator flavored jell-o gelatin. That flavor is pretty tasty. I just realized I could of been in this battle, aren't I a game show host?

You can talk to me after the battle. Our contestants are waking up and ready to go.

BOB BARKER vsCHUCK WOOLERY

Born: December 12, 1923

Retired: October 31, 2006Estimated Death: June 17, 2089Cause of Death: Chokes to death on salmon flavored pickle popBiggest Fear: Getting an STD from one of the Barker BeautiesBiggest Regret: Letting Drew Carey become the new host of The Price is RightFavorite Memory: Rigging the Plinko game that one time for that hot piece of assWhat He Misses Most about The Price is Right: One word - BOOBIESWhat He Won't Miss: Redneck Grannies and random drug testsHis Beef With Chuck: Eggo Waffles, Chuck knows

PS) Remember that club of mine and Rep's that we suckered you into? yeah? Well the club needs ya, buddy. Let me know if we can count on you. yeah...that is as detailed as it gets until you've committed. Sorry about that.

This contains all the answers to your questions.

Hi, thanks for joining in the antics. This blog is full of random humor and sexy pics of my ferret. Okay, that last part isn't true because I don't have a ferret but If I did I would definitely share those pics with you. If you have come for some cheese, it is currently on back order. I have a ton of crackers if you're interested. Please like my page on Facebook and follow me on Twitter, if you don't than I can't brag to my grandma about being more popular than her. If you want to contact me please email me at reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com.