The Premiere OnLine Magazine for the Fly Fishing Enthusiast.
This is where our readers tell their stories . . .

Don't Do It Clyde
By Dick Taylor, Fincastle, VA (Grn Mt Man)

Freddie was just cruising along the bottom of the
run looking for an easy meal when Clyde sidled up
and asked, "Whatcha doing Fred?"

"What does it look like," was the succinct reply?

"Well, you could be just killing time, looking for
Rainbow Jane or maybe a little afternoon snack."

"As a matter of fact, I'm thinking about grabbing
one of these tasty nymphs that a fly fisherman just
scrapped off those rocks he so noisily stumbled over."

"Danged if you're not correctmundo once again Fred."
"If it wasn't for old "Stumble Foot" there we'd have
to wait for the afternoon hatch to procure a decent meal."

"Now Clyde; you'd better be careful what you're
grabbing around here cause them good ole T.U. boys
and gals have been known to prowl these waters on
a regular basis."

"What's so bad about that Fred?" "Aren't they the
friendly folks that clean our waters?"

"Well some of them Chapter #308 folks are pretty
stealthy when they come around here and a few of
them have been known to tie up some mighty fine
lookin' imitations of our regular diet."

"Are you trying to tell me that they're good
enough to fool us with that mess of fur, feather
and foolishness they keep throwing into our house?"

"Didn't you hear what happened to Charlie last
week in this same run?"

"Naw  But, you know, I haven't seen him in a
couple of days now."

"Well, he was just resting behind the big poplar
tree stump on the far side there and along comes
this "peachy" looking thing and it was wonderful
to behold." "A veritable complete meal in just
one gulp." "Charlie slid out from that stump,
quicker'n a goosed otter, and latched onto that
"peach thang" and started back to his lair. All
of a sudden it started pulling on his jaw something
fierce and he couldn't get away."

"What happened next? Did he just let loose of the it?"

"No  there was a terrible fight. First he was
dragged up to the top of the water; then he was
able to pull the "thing" back downstream for a
bit. Suddenly it pulled him sideways and almost
beached him on the near bank; but, he was able
to sprint upstream and get into that fast run at
the head of the pool. All of a sudden there was
a big black "thing" closing all around him and he
was lifted out of the water."

"Oh no! What got him. Some of that plastic stuff
that people throw in our house all the time?"

"Nope. This time it was one of those "net things"
that old Stumble Foot and his friends sometimes use.
Hoisted him right outta the water, grabbed him
around his middle and suddenly there was a horrible
flash of light!"

"Was it the "light at the end of the funnel?"

"Naw. Turned out to be one of them digital
picture taking things."

"Does it hurt to get your picture took?"

"Only if you're looking right at it when the
"lighting strikes."

"What happened to Charlie then?"

"Well...you're not gonna believe this Fred.
But, old Stumble Foot jerked that "peachie
thing" outta Charlie's jaw, dunked him back
in the water, proceeded to slosh him back 'n
forth like a locomotive piston and then cut
'em loose!"

"What did Charlie do after all that ruckus?"

"He took off for parts unknown and hasn't
been seen since."

'Well, what should we do if we see another
one of them "peachie thangs" floating down
the river?"

"If you know what's good for you, you'll just
let it pass and stick to those delicious "4
bead nymphs" that 'Old Baldy" brings with him
when he comes here."

"So, are they better'n those 'peachy things?"

"Not really; but, they look so much more
purty hanging out your jaw!"

Moral of the story: When things start
looking "peachy" just stick with a hairy nymph!
~ Grn Mt Man