Sports Crackle Pop » On the Scenehttp://sportscracklepop.com
Tue, 03 Mar 2015 15:32:25 +0000en-UShourly1My Retarded Sectionhttp://sportscracklepop.com/2011/04/06/my-retarded-section/
http://sportscracklepop.com/2011/04/06/my-retarded-section/#commentsWed, 06 Apr 2011 15:48:18 +0000http://sportscracklepop.com/?p=14211On Monday night, I sat in section 417, row 12, seat 7 at Yankee Stadium. It was a good game. Arod and Posada each hit 2 run shots, Ivan Nova pitched well through 6 and then the bullpen finished the game with 3 scoreless innings. Overall, it was a generally lovely experience. Except for the idiots and morons in my section.

Lets start with the guy sitting next to me. He approached the seats by walking across the row in front then climbing over empty seats to get to his own. No problem there. I did the same thing. But once he climbed over and sat down, he was done, despite the fact that his girlfriend was clearly struggling to get a foothold on the seat in row 11 and was quite obviously nervous that she would fall. Being a gentleman, I reached out and gave her my hand so she could get some leverage. It was at this point the guy next to me realized he should help. So he reaches out too and grabs a hand. MY HAND. So, now I’m helping steady this girl as she climbs and he’s holding onto my wrist for god knows what reason. It only lasted about 2 seconds, but it the set the tone for the night.

Joe Mauer batted 3rd for the Twins. When he came up in the 1st inning, the scoreboard showed his average, which after three games was something like .146. Abner Doubleday to my left decides to tell me, “Wow, he’s struggling this year. He usually does much better than that.”

“Really? The three time batting champ usually bats higher than .146? Thanks, ” is what I should have said. Instead, I went with “It’s only 3 games. I wouldn’t worry about it.” To which he responded, “Still…” Still what, Jackass?

At this point, he turned to his girlfriend to tell her about Joe Mauer. “This guy was MVP the last two years.” (No, he wasn’t.) “He’s the guy on MLB 2k11, and he was on it last year too.” (That is true.) “They always put the MVP on that game, so he must have won the MVP the last two years.” (No, that is clearly not true. You are spouting fallacies. Please stop.)

Later in the game, Derek Jeter hit a liner that landed a few feet foul down the first baseline before ultimately striking out. Mark Texiera followed up with a long drive into the right field stands which was also foul. He then singled. It is only at this point that the demon spawn of Joe Morgan and Tim McCarver turns to me and declares, “That Ump should be fired!” FOR WHAT? For noticing that two balls were clearly foul? This time, I responded with nothing but a grunt of acknowledgment.

Eventually, he noticed the rows of empty seats on the field level and asked me if I thought they could go sit down there. If you’ve ever been to the New Yankee Stadium, you know the answer to that question is an unequivocal no. Security doesn’t let you anywhere near those seats without a ticket.

“Yeah, you can probably get down there,” I told him, “Just act like you know where you’re going. They won’t stop you if you act like you belong there.”

Success! They left. I don’t know where they ended up (definitely not in the field level boxes,) but they never came back.

That joy was short lived. For what I heard next was arguably the dumbest statement in the history of mankind. It was later in the game, maybe the 6th or 7th inning. Jorge Posada walked up to the plate. The scoreboard in center field flashed this barely noteworthy tidbit, “With his next hit, Jorge will tie Phil Rizzuto for 14th place on the Yankees all time hit list.” It’s at this point that I hear, from 2 rows back, an adult male proclaim “Wow, if he hits a homer, someone’s going to make a fortune!”

WHAT???? Before I could fully register my disbelief, his female companion asked him why.

“Well, a Posada homerun ball is probably pretty valuable to begin with,” (Yes, I would imagine it is worth nearly as much as a regular baseball, once you factor in that it’s dirty and used.) “But tying Rizzuto, that’s gotta drive the price up even more. I mean, that guy was the Scoot!”

The fact that he confidently proclaimed Phil Rizzuto’s nickname was “The Scoot” should have been enough to drive me to violence. Instead, I quickly prayed to the baseball gods that Jorge Posada hit the next pitch so hard that it breaks all laws of physics by clearing the wall in right, then takes an immediate right turn in the air and lands in this guy’s lap, a hundred rows up behind home plate. Because I want to follow him into a memorabilia store when he presents the salesman with the ball that Jorge Posada hit to tie Phil Rizzuto for 14th place on the Yankees All Time hits list then demands a kings ransom in return.

That would be funny. I would enjoy sitting and watching that.

]]>http://sportscracklepop.com/2011/04/06/my-retarded-section/feed/1Greatest Invention Ever? Greatest Invention EVER!http://sportscracklepop.com/2010/12/24/greatest-invention-ever-greatest-invention-ever/
http://sportscracklepop.com/2010/12/24/greatest-invention-ever-greatest-invention-ever/#commentsFri, 24 Dec 2010 19:57:05 +0000http://sportscracklepop.com/?p=13341Via Darren Rovell’s Twitter comes this amazing new product, which may get rid of stadium beer lines forever. How does it work? Why don’t the cups drip after it’s done? Will it make the draught beers at MSG taste less like old cantaloupe? I don’t know! But I am willing to find out.

Itâ€™s the NBA Draft live from the Garden. I finagled a Credential.Yes, I am in the vast minority of people here tonight who will be using the word finagle.

So far, Iâ€™ve learned that Iâ€™m taller than Mark Jackson, Mike Breen, and Jeff Van Gundy.Also, Danillo Galinardi and his family are in a rush.They nearly ran me over coming in.At least I think it was them. It may have just been a tall, rude, European family.

Also fun: Watching fat old sportswriters flirting with the hot NBA communications staff, and thinking they have a chance in hell.The WI-FI sucks. It keeps knocking me off line, and my laptop battery says its about to die. Weâ€™ll see what happens.

-Well, that was quick. The battery died. Now, Iâ€™m upstairs in the media workroom, otherwise known as the play by play overpriced sports bar and restaurant.Marc Stein is up here, a few seats down.He must have a shitty laptop battery also.

ESPN showed Gallinari on the big screen three times, and all three times the Knicks fans booed lustily. Thatâ€™s got to make Donnie Walsh happy, if in fact the Italian is his pick.

-And weâ€™re underway.Derrick Rose goes number one.Now the fun starts

-Apparently, Pat Riley has come to his senses, and taken Michael Beasley.I really have no idea why he considered doing anything else. At worst, Beasley will be Derrick Coleman with a better attitude.

-OJ Mayo to the T-wolves. Yes, his family section is loud and large. They have a sign that says “OJ MAYO YOUR FAMILY IS PROUD OF YOU.” That’s sweet. My family rarely holds up inspirational signs for me. Speaking of family, read this. It’s my brother. He’s here, and is wearing a very nice sportcoat. Combined with my snazzy blue tie and grey pants combo, we’re looking good. Certainly better than the Lopez brothers and their idiot hair.

- The NBA staff just handed out some facts about the first few picks. One of them says “Michael Beasley is the highest draft pick out of Kansas State since Mitch Richmond went 5th in 1988.” That makes no sense. If Beasley went 2, he’s the highest pick out of Kansas State since before Richmond. Perhaps I will bring this to someone’s attention.

- First surprise of the night: Russell Westbrook to Seattle. I know it was a suprise because some guy in here yelped like a lady when it was made.

- Memphis is up next. They are widely expected to take Westbrook’s teammate, Kevin Love. If for some reason they don’t, I would like to go on record as saying I want the Knicks to take him. There is already talk that they’re trying to deal David Lee, so why not? If D’antoni wants to run, why not grab the best passing big man since Bill Walton?

- Oh well. Memphis went Love. I’m going to leave my computer alone up here and run down to see the Knicks fans boo the next pick. If I never post again tonight, It means someone up here stole my laptop and its shiity battery. It will serve them right.

- NBA reporters are an honest bunch. Good for them.

- Gallinari was booed lustily. Not only did they boo, hundres of Knick fans walked out. One said, “watching the Knicks draft is like watching the Jets draft” OUCH!

- The Bucks took Joe Alexander. I think he will be a bust. I’m not sure why, but something about him makes me think he’ll be out of the league within five years. Good thing they picked up RIchard Jefferson this afternoon.

- The Nets took one of the Lopezes. I already forgot which one. I guess the franchise couldn’t function without a big slow twin from Stanford. They dealt Jason Collins last season, and now.. Lopez number 1 has entered the fray.

-By the way, I’m not sitting at a table like everyone else. I’m hunched over a chair, using it as a desk. Why? Cause I’m a putz and I didn’t feel like walking around looking for an outlet, so I just sat down where I found one and made due. I am the definition of low-rent. Though I am dressed better than anyone else in the room.

- I was here two years ago. The guy I sat next to that year smelled terrible. He just walked in. Averting my eyes.

- The Kings go local! Jason Thompson from Rider is your first huge surprise of the day. He was expected to be a second rounder, and instead he’s a lottery pick. My mom went to Rider. She must be proud. We also have our first bad joke of the night, courtesy of Stuart Scott. Something about Thompson being a communications major so he’ll anchor the second round of the draft. Not funny. As punishment, they should make him actually give up his seat to Jason Thompson in the second round.

- This is also a big blow to Spencer Hawes, who may or may not have played a lot for the Kings last season. I had the NBA package but they played late and were not an interesting team to watch. Its a victory for Al Gore though. All I know about Hawes is that he doesn’t believe in Global Warming.

- We just got the transcript of Gallinari’s interview with Stephen A. I can excuse the bad syntax, since English isn’t his first language. But is there any excuse for the person transcribing the interview to misspell “here” as “hear”? No. No there is not.

- It’s pick number 14 and we’ve already set the record for most rookies ever taken in one season. Anthony Randolph from LSU goes to the Warriors. He’s 6’10 and only weighs 195 pounds. I could literally eat him if I wanted to. For the record, I do not want to do that.

- I’m pretty sure I hate the second Lopez, Robin. He’s got stupid hair and tries to be funny in all of his interviews. I hope Shaq hazes him and makes him taste his ass. Also, their mom looks like Ms. Dreibelbis. She was a first grade teacher at West Freehold School. Also, she looks like the photographer Annie Leibovitz. Handsome women, all of them.

- Some dude just stole my Stanford twins joke. Screw him.

- For the record, Pete is blowing me out of the water, joke wise. I really have to pick up my game. He had more time to prepare. I just decided to come this morning. Weak excuses? Yes, but they are all I have at the moment.

- Ok. Let’s talk trades for a minute. There have been two big ones so far. Toronto just drafted Roy Hibbert for Indiana, who will join TJ Ford, Rasho Nesterovic and Maceo Baston at Conseco. That’s a lot for the Raptors to give up for Jermaine O’Neal, who may or may not be completely washed up before he turns 30. O’Neal set a record back in ’96, by becoming the first NBA player ever to be younger than me.

As for the Nets trade, I don’t like it. I understand you’re trying to clear space for 2010, when Jay-Z can complete the most blatant tampering case in history by bringing LeBron to Brooklyn, but I think you could have gotten more for him. Yi is a crapshoot. I keep waiting for him to be recalled by the EPA, because of unsafe lead levels.

- Now that the Supreme Court has overturned DC’s ban on handguns, do the Wizards go back to being the Bullets? They just drafted JaVale McGee, whose mom played in the WNBA. That seems strange. Either she was a really old pro basketball player, or a really young mother.

-Dude next to me is having WiFi problems. He is not handling it well. Also, he has huge arms and a scary jailhouse tat. I may scoot over a little bit.

-The Nets are a local team right? They just picked Ryan Anderson from Cal with the 21st pick. The place was silent. Maybe all the Nets fans are pre-emptively exhausted from listening to whichever Lopez they drafted talking constantly for the next 10 seasons.

- I just ate an apple. I skipped cookies and brownies and went healthy. I’m almost 30. I don’t want to break down like Jermaine O’neal. Also, I will stop for pizza on the way home.

-Alexis Ajinca: ” Before the draft I talked to my agent and I said, ‘well, I want to play for Bobcats.” That’s how you know he’s foreign. He’s actually looking forward to being browbeaten by Larry Brown and Michael Jordan.

- The Van Gundys. They look nothing alike. I have never understood that.

- Here’s one of my favorite parts of the draft: When the random foreign draft picks get selected, and then appear out of the crowd to shake Stern’s hand. Remember a few years back when the Knicks drafted Slavko Vranes in the second round, even though he had the Andre the Giant disease and couldn’t stand up straight cause his spine couldn’t support the weight of his giant face? Yeah, that guy. Well, he was 7’45’ and stood up and scared the crap out of David Stern, who probably thought he was going to be kidnapped and taken back up the beanstalk.

-Jay Bilas refuses to admit that he hasn’t heard of these players. He just says “oh, he’s a really good player. I saw him at IUPUI and he was good.” No you didn’t. How could Jay Bilas watch IUPUI games when he spends all his time living under the bleachers at Cameron Indoor?

- I have a friend named Izzy. He is a nightmare in fantasy sports, because every day you get an email offering some ridiculous trade. I bet that’s what its like for NBA GM’s dealing with Kevin Pritchard from Portland. 9 trades over the last three drafts? My God!

-Angry guy next to me left. I now have a seat at an actual table. I’m big time!

-Kevin Pritchard just drafted Darrell Arthur. Pritchard will now trade Arthur’s damaged kidney for two second rounders next year.

-Speaking of Arthur… imagine sitting in Madison Square Garden and having Andy Katz diagnose you with a kidney disorder on a big screen in front of a thousand people. What happened to doctor-patient privilege?

-Step Brothers looks like a funny movie. ESPN just showed a commercial for it. Lopez Brothers looks like an annoying nightmare.

-You may have noticed I haven’t been commenting on the actual picks. Truth is, after the first 12 or 13 guys went, I don’t know who any of these guys are. I spent so much time looking at old drafts, I forgot to check on the prospects for this year. Lesson learned. I’m not alone. No one in here knows who half these guys are.

-ESPN is filibustering the Celtics pick. They don’t want the first round to end for some reason. Boston’s five minutes ran out five minutes ago. What the hell is going on?

- JR Giddens from New Mexico. That’s what I was waiting for?

-Well, that’s the end of the first round, and that’s the end of the liveblog. We’ll wrap up tonight’s events tomorrow, once everyone ends up where they end up. Thanks for reading.

Started this game a few minutes late as I arrived from a side trip to a local attraction (have to see some of the historical attractions at some point). Then caught this first game in my hotel room while packing for my Salzburg train the next morning. Did not sense much action at the fan mile for this game either.

I mean should be a no brainer that France clobbers the one man team Mutu of Romania. Right? Well not so. Basically the French were surprisingly weak on attack, but then maybe that should not be a surprise. Without Zidane, they clearly don’t have many offensive threats in the midfield. Malouda is fast and has good professional experience, but he has no one to work with on the left. If he uses his holding midfielder Makelele; it is a lost cause. Great defender, but not a threat as a passer in tight spaces. Or crosses. Patrick Viera missing is another loss on the offensive front. And look, you got to love Ribery. He is very skilled and a workhorse, but he simply had no one to move the ball forward to without Viera or Zindane. France have strikers (Anelka/Benzema/Henry) to get the job done, yet they are lacking the set ups from the midfielders. Also, with Sangnol, Gallas, Thuram, Abidal (and Mak in front), they still have one of the best defenses in the world. As for Romania, let’s face it Mutu is all they have. The only reason why they got some chances in 2nd half was because France’s aging defenders got a little tired. Anyway, for France to have a shot to win the Euro this year, they need Viera back and have to replace Malouda with a better midfielder (say Flamini?).

So the much awaited Group of Death match. Clearly, this was to be considered the best match in the tourney thus far. So I finished packing and went back out to the streets. I found a nice big pub that served food and scoped out the TV scene. Let me tell you that one of the negatives to the fan mile is that almost all restaurants can not show the game inside. This is so that all the street vendors in the fan mile get business. But even if you get wasted for the duration of the two games and stand (6-11:30) at some point you want to drink, eat, and watch games sitting down at a bar. Anyway, this bar had all kinds of people. There were lots of Swedes, Russians (for upcoming group games in Innsbruck). There were also Holland fans, Italians fans and a couple Austrian fans (of course only a few). The Italian fans came out because Innsbruck was at one point ruled by Italians and now has a lot of people with Italian heritage living there. Regardless, these Austrians just wanted to support a winning team. The bar was big and was in between a German Braue Haus (with a beer garden in back and patio seating in front) and an American college bar inside with DJ and shot girls, etc.

To the game…. Let me just leave you with a few words that will describe why the Italians got worked by the fancy Duchies…

Look we can talk about how the defense let up 3 goals. However, they have a similar problem as France-weak midfield without their main midfield playmaker running along with Pirlo. Let’s face it Pirlo had Gattuso and Ambrosini to work with in the middle. Both are more defensive minded midfielders (Ambro 0 goals in 30 caps, Gatusso 1 goal in 57 caps). Daniele Di Rossi should have started over Ambrosini. Also, you need a good second striker/attacking winger to distract defenders from Luca Toni. Di Natale, Italy’s new replacement for Del Piero was a joke. Del Piero is older now (34) and may not be able to play a full 90 min. But Di Natale is no spring chicken either. At 31, this guy has only been capped 17 times. Del Piero should have started and subbed around 70 min. This is trouble for Italy if they have depend on a 31 year old. But the fact of the matter is, most of Italy’s strikers are very old (Toni-31, Del Piero-34, Inzaghi-35, Iaquinta, Di Natale-31) and the younger guys have very little national experience (Borriello 26, 2 caps) (Quagliarella 25, 8 caps).

As for the Dutch-what can I say? They looked unstoppable. Not only were they solid on the attack and controlling the ball, but they beat Italy tactically by putting man to man pressure in the mid field. This was risky and could have led to counter attacks. Anyway, can we talk about how nasty Sneijder is? I mean, he is great at Real Madrid, but for Real, he is given parameters. He was let loose by van Basten and this guy not only produced the best goal of the Euro thus far, but also has been the best midfielder in the tourney. Van Nistelrooy does not work hard for the ball and needs a good set up man. This is why Nistelrooy played great as well. Don’t forget Ruud has historically not played well for the national team and was benched at one point by van basten in 2006.

Their defense played above average; considering this is their biggest weakness. France should give them a tough match since their defense is stronger than Italy’s. Holland will be in the next round for sure. Lastly, let’s hope other teams step up and play similar to Holland; with most games having one goal scored, Holland showed you can play attacking beautiful football while playing agressive defense.

OK-so here I am in Innsbruck waiting to see what kind of football supporters Austria have-surprisingly quite a few came out, but they were like I expected. All cheers, had no real celebration, chants, or gimmicks. They looked like they just wanted to get dressed up a little bit, put a little paint on and go to a good party. The Croats, on the other hand, were coming out of the woodwork. Don’t know why there is a big community here (with game being played in Vienna). The Croats had some pretty scary haircuts but their women were pretty attractive. So the game was typically what I expected in the first 20 minutes. Croatia showed they have the midfielders and strikers that could move the ball forward at will and score not just a goal, but a pretty goal. Even though they ended up winning on a warranted PK, Austria got rid of the home opener jitters after 20 min. and exploited Croatia’s biggest weakness-DEFENSE. This is their Achilles heal and even Austria (who is ranked the worse team in Euro) showed how vulnerable they are. If Croatia, does not fix this, they will again dissapoint-even with all of the talent. They should still be able to get through with only Germany as other strong team in group.

I watched the first game in one of the Fan Zone public viewing TVs. We were elbow to elbow with all the locals combined with the local Croatians. Now we all know Europeans don’t shower much but imagine Europeans from the Austrian mountains combined with the fact that the sun was beating down hard and making them smell even worse. Don’t forget to add a gazzilion cigarettes and beer. No joke-95 of 100 would smoke. And light the next one without the first one finishing. For someone who is a former smoker and now only social one I can understand, but this was totally animal. So I decided to watch the next game to get away from the body oder at a popular brewhouse (but could not avoid the smokefilled environment). A bit quieter because most people were watching in thestreets. But this allowed me to focus better on the game. Which I wanted to see in detail because Germany is the favorite to win. So the Germans did what people expected-win-and not only win but also score more than one goal. A couple surprises on the German side was that Podolski was slotted as a left midfield/winger rather than as Klose’s strike partner (also not his natural position). Also, surprising was that Kuranyi was not in the starting line up; instead Gomez played striker. Ended up being great moves but Germany may switch Podolski for a defensive midfielder when they play a team that will give Germany real pressure. Poland had a couple good chances but in the end looked horrible. Not much else to say on this game.

PS. Locals in the bar said they did not want to be in streets watching the Germany game because they hate the Germans and always root for them to lose at anything (This is basically due to Austria being dominated by Germans in history!)

Day Before Group D games

So as I went to get by coffee and local baked goods this morning, it was clear that real football supporters had arrived. I heard mariachi style music and followed it; lnowing it was the festive Spainards parading in the streets. I also saw lots of pale people with brightt yellow shirts and beers in hand. No Swedish bands or instruments but they travelled in numbers and basically drink beer all day-cans while walking or half liters while sitting outside at cafes/pubs. Overall, the Swedes and Spainards are a fun bunch and not as scary looking as the locals. I am sure they will have hotties in their contingent by the time game starts tomorrow.

I/Footie Fan am in Innsbruck, Austria. Which will host some of Group D games with Sweden, Spain, and Russia. It the 3rd largest city in Austria and is located on a river that runs through the Swiss Alps.

Anyway, I arrived here on Saturday right before the 6pm game. The city has a organized a Fan Mile which is a street festival all throughout the major city streets, with jumbo viewing screens at certain squares.

Although Saturday’s opener were Group A games not played here; the streets were packed for the first game Switzerland vs Czech Republic. Although the Swiss are Austria’s neighbors to the east, the locals did not seem to care who won (you would think the 2 worst teams would have supported each other and are only in the finals due to hosting). In the first game, the Czech controlled most of the game but when Jan Koller was subbed the Swiss seemed to get the better of the Czech Republic and put a couple nice opportunities together that almost got them a point. The biggest event in this game is Alexendar Frei of Switzerland got injured (out for the remainder of Euro)-without him they have even a more impossible chance of getting through the group. He was the country’s only shot at scoring goals as they are a defense-only capable team.

Portugal v Turkey- The Turks came out of the woodwork for this one in Innsbruck. I could not figure out why they would come to innsbruck when the game was played in a another city. Then I figured it out-they are EVERYWHERE you go in Europe. What would a city in Europe be if you did not find a Doner Kebab shop (e.g. knock off of the better tasting gyro). Anyway, this game showed Portugal, with the much touted offensive playmakers that were hyped up from the get go. Also, there defense pretty much shut down Turkey’s skilled front line. Never heard of any of these new defenders but with names like Pepe, you got to love to watch both the offense and defense of this team. Turkey will get back to work and most likely will give Czech and Swiss a run for second place-so don’t count them out yet. Also, beware of portugal’s cockyness-which led to The coach naming a 5 captain rotation.

PS. I don’t know why, but there are more Portugal supporters in Innsbruck then Austria supporters-then I figured it out-they are another sad footballing country that got to the Euro only by hosting. Therefore, everyone in Austria must support another country’s club..so why not be a fairweather Portugal/Ronaldo fan.

]]>http://sportscracklepop.com/2008/06/09/2008-euro-championships-day-1/feed/0Off to Europe for Futbol Coveragehttp://sportscracklepop.com/2008/06/06/off-to-europe-for-futbol-coverage/
http://sportscracklepop.com/2008/06/06/off-to-europe-for-futbol-coverage/#commentsFri, 06 Jun 2008 11:00:03 +0000http://sportscracklepop.com/?p=496I’m off to Europe in a couple of hours for on-the-scene Euro 2008 reporting. I’ll be joined by our Greek soccer-fanatic contributor, who will be in different cities than me. I’m looking forward to the 30 hour flight and 3 transfers from San Francisco.

The tournament begins Saturday June 7th. Look for more international coverage here over the next two weeks.