Lots of dashing, dancing and prancing at the Stick

'Tis the preseason - a time for dashing, dancing and prancing

Updated 11:23 pm, Sunday, August 25, 2013

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Kickoff returner Lavelle Hawkins runs back a kickoff for a touchdown in the first half of a game against the Vikings in San Francisco on Sunday, August 25, 2013. Photo: Mathew Sumner, Special To The Chronicle

Kickoff returner Lavelle Hawkins runs back a kickoff for a touchdown in the first half of a game against the Vikings in San Francisco on Sunday, August 25, 2013. Photo: Mathew Sumner, Special To The Chronicle

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A fan who ran onto the field is subdued by security during the second half of a game between the Vikings and the Forty-Niners in San Francisco on Sunday, August 25, 2013.

A fan who ran onto the field is subdued by security during the second half of a game between the Vikings and the Forty-Niners in San Francisco on Sunday, August 25, 2013.

Photo: Mathew Sumner, Special To The Chronicle

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San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick (7) during the first quarter of his NFL pre-season football game against the Minnesota Vikings at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, Calif. on Aug. 25, 2013.

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick (7) during the first quarter of his NFL pre-season football game against the Minnesota Vikings at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, Calif. on Aug. 25, 2013.

Photo: Stephen Lam, Special To The Chronicle

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San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Quinton Patton (11) is being tackled by Minnesota Vikings safety Jamarca Sanford (33) during the first quarter of their NFL pre-season football game at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, Calif. on Aug. 25, 2013. less

San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Quinton Patton (11) is being tackled by Minnesota Vikings safety Jamarca Sanford (33) during the first quarter of their NFL pre-season football game at Candlestick Park in San ... more

Photo: Stephen Lam, Special To The Chronicle

Lots of dashing, dancing and prancing at the Stick

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Random thoughts from Candlestick Park while waiting to see how "Dancing With the Stars" judge Bruno Tonioli rates the moves of Lavelle Hawkins and Quinton Patton ...

-- Sigh. Remember the exciting old days when the 49ers had nonstop quarterback controversies? Now the Jets and Raiders have all the fun, while the old-folks 49ers' only battle is for third-string QB.

-- Colin Kaepernick opened the evening against the Vikings by going 1-for-7 passing. If Alex Smith was still here, can you imagine the fights breaking out in the stands between the rival camps?

-- Most exciting development from the 49ers' (fill in your own meaningless score) win over the Vikings: The emergence of wide receiver Patton, the rookie fourth-round pick who was so eager to report that he paid his way to San Francisco, earning the love of Jim Harbaugh. Teacher's pet Patton got open, caught balls.

-- "He's easy to have chemistry with," Kaepernick said of Patton. "He's someone who knows when the windows are open and how to get open."

-- Patton also knows how to dance. The kid known for his exuberance celebrated his touchdown catch, and another catch, with some enthusiastic hoofing. After what happened with Hawkins (more on that in a moment), I'm guessing Harbaugh will suggest his fellas dial back on the dancing and/or prancing.

-- Kaepernick: 33 snaps, zero carries, zero read-option plays, zero take-off-and-runs, despite a couple of tempting openings. I asked him, was that by design? "Just plays that were called," said Kaepernick, who tends not to go super-deep with his remarks to the media.

-- You can take this to the bank: The 49ers are treating their franchise QB as if he's made of bone china. Any fancy QB-running stuff will not be trotted out preseason, and not in-season until circumstances beg for it.

-- Most of the buzz was about the 49ers' quarterbacks, but possibly the most exciting performance of the night, in the eyes of Harbaugh and the 49ers, was the I'm-back performance of a certain defensive tackle. "Justin Smith had a burr in his saddle," Harbaugh commented. Don't worry, the burr will not put Smith on injured reserve.

-- The game featured open tryouts for Drunk Fan of the Game honors. At least four fans took their shots scampering onto the field. One got tripped on the sideline by Viking Jerome Simpson. Another did his dash 15 minutes after the game, was tackled by a cop, took a swing at the cop and will be going to jail.

-- We mock those fools, but at least the drunken idiots were getting some exercise.

-- Hawkins had a touchdown kickoff runback, during which he incurred a penalty for taunting, then another for taking off his helmet. He also high-stepped 10 yards. Later, after a nice catch, Hawkins was penalized for helmet-bumping a Viking. He missed the Grand Slam of Bad Sportsmanship when he forgot to spike the football in the Vikings' Gatorade jug.

-- There were so many flags on Hawkins' TD runback that he probably thought he was getting a ticker-tape parade as he ran into the end zone.

-- "It'll never happen again," said a contrite Hawkins. "It's unacceptable." His head-butt was a good-natured tap to a former Cal teammate, linebacker Desmond Bishop, but the zebra didn't know that. Hawkins: "With the new rules, you can't do nothin'. Catch the ball and drop it and get back to the huddle, and that's what I'm going to do."

-- Good, because Harbaugh's message to the team is going to be: "Our next dancer will be booked as a lounge act at the Santa Clara Greyhound station."

-- Memo to Hawkins, and Patton: Don't make the 49ers bring in Mike Singletary as discipline coordinator.

-- What Hawkins should have done after his kickoff runback: dash back and hand the ball to teammate Anthony Dixon, who blew a 10-foot hole in the Vikings' kick-coverage team.

-- After Justin Smith, the best news about the 49ers' defense: Nnamdi Asomugha seems to have locked down the third cornerback spot. Maybe he's not as old as Vic Fangio feared he was. Harbaugh, at a midweek practice, asked Asomugha to address the troops with an inspirational message.

-- May the 49ers embrace Hawkins' spirit, if not his flag-worthy infractions. "This is a game we play that's fun, and we get excited," he said.

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