Sunday, July 26, 2009

WHAT A MOTHER WILL DO FOR HER CHILDREN!

So, as we speak...Snarky Belle and Little Brothers 1 & 2 are on their way to see "HIM"....my Music Man...Adam Eyeliner and all!

Yep, today is the day. See, they think I did them a favor. They think I made the ultimate sacrifice by giving them our two tickets to the American Idol Concert. (If you hear a sigh of relief in the background, that would be Snarky Papa...he doesn't love "HIM" quite like I do. BUT, he DOES love me, so you bet he would go and sit with me through the whole darn thing! He is an extraordinary man...one day I will tell you just how extraordinary).

Never mind that in just a few hours they will be sitting on the 5th row/center watching "HIM." I understand there will be nine other people performing, as well. Don't know who they are and honestly don't care. I understand one of them actually won which, to me, is still hysterically comical. WHAT WAS HIS NAME....told you I can NEVER remember...couldn't when he won, still can't today!

Oh well...anyway. I really did not make a sacrifice. (This part, we will not tell Snarky...let her feel that overwhelming feeling of guilt and the need to "pay my mother back"...really, it will be good for her). :):)

Today, I am a happy woman. My three adult children are together. They took a road trip. They are doing something together that they have wanted to do for a very long time. We used to live in the Memphis area many years ago. Snarky and other Little Brother say those times made for the greatest memories of their entire childhood. Baby Little Brother does not remember much about those years. He was quite small. (Boy, do things change...he is only 6'5" tall). But, Snarky and other Little Brother, they "loved" Memphis.

Snarky Papa and I always chuckle to ourselves as they re-count and recall "those good old days when we lived in Memphis." We were so broke, they were just little kids, and there really weren't any extraordinary events or super fun vacations, or fantastic moments. Just a little family living life.

Snarky began the 6th grade and other Little Brother started Kindergarten the August we moved there. Baby Little Brother was just that, a baby, beginning the toddler phase. We rented a house in a neighborhood where there were numerous young families with a lot of little children. We lived on a corner on the main street. Our neighbors behind us had a garage, we had a carport, they had a fishing boat, we couldn't float a boat, they had stairs in their house and we were just glad to have a house. Somehow, in other Little Brother's mind this was how you KNEW if people were rich....a garage (with doors), a boat (even if it was a little three bencher fishing boat), and stairs that went up in their house! We never really figured out where he came up with that, but then again, we have not figured out a lot of things that rattle around in that amazingly gorgeous head of his.

I was the PTA President of their school. I was way too young to have such an overwhelming position. I was a young mother, new to the area, had no idea what I was doing, how difficult it is to get parents involved without letting them "take over" and had absolutely never spear-headed a fund-raiser in my life. (Now that I think about it...that was EXACTLY why they picked me! If I had known any of the above, there would not have been a snowball's chance I would have said "yes." But, PTA President I was).

I dragged Baby Little Brother to that school more times than any "under-age" child should have ever been dragged to school. Of course, back in that day, every one took their smaller children while they "worked" at the school. Little kids knew how to behave. They took their colors and coloring books, pencils and paper, with a snack, sat down, closed their mouths and waited, patiently, while you got your job done. However, I would like to add that Baby Little Brother has chosen the "every other year" college plan, due to the fact, he HATES school!....Maybe, that wasn't such a good idea after all. He is brilliant though...hates school, but, he is one smart human!

The years spent in the halls of that old country school were some of the best days of my life. I loved the principal. I loved the teachers, most of them. Other Little Brother's kindergarten teacher was one of the most naturally grouchy, grumpy and downright mean people I had ever met then. She still holds her ranking although, through the years, I have encountered a few more with which she could keep good company. She was a beast! If she has changed, thank goodness, for those who had to live with her. Seriously, some people simply do not need to teach school, especially kindergarten. And if they do and are surprised as to how stressful and taxing teaching 5 year olds can be....hellooooooooooooo, the clue is "Kindergarten=5 year olds."

But, all in all, I loved that place. My kids loved that place. School was school the way it was meant to be. The rules were simple. The people were simple. We looked out for each other's children and we loved each other's children. We were a little family. There were some disagreements. There were some parents who couldn't be happy with other people's children having success. But, for the most part, we laughed with each other, cried with each other, praised each other's kids and cared what happened to each other. I have not stayed in touch with those people. I am sad about that. There are some of them I truly loved as deep as I have ever loved a friend.

We moved away, time passed and I neglected to take the steps to stay in touch. Someone has to do it....nobody did.

I loved our neighborhood. I loved our neighbors. I trusted our neighbors. I left my children with my neighbors when necessary. They did the same. We played tricks on each other. We cooked out. We went for Friday night Pizza Hut nights together. We took care of each other. We were "friends" not just neighbors. I have good neighbors today. I have lived in the same house, now, for over 21 years....I have "neighbors."

So, today, Snarky and both Little Brothers are headed back there. They are excited about going to the American Idol tour. Although, I can tell you that was not the whole "drawing card" for them. I could see the excitement the past few days as they looked forward to being together, taking a road trip, and going back to their "good old days in Memphis."

The two older ones could not wait to "show" Baby Little Brother where they and he lived. They plan to go see the house, see the school and spend the day reminiscing. For some reason I think those moments had much more appeal than "HIM"...my Music Man. I think they miss each other. A lot. I am glad for that....I am glad they wish they could spend more time together.

Don't get me wrong. I love our lives, today. I have a wonderful son-in-law, "The Captain" and a beautiful daughter-in-law, our own CA grown beauty. I adore my grandchildren. Baby Little Brother has a precious girlfriend, "P." But, today is a "magic day" for me. As it turned out, The Captain is "on duty." CA beauty and those grandchildren are visiting the OC. I have the rest of Snarky Belle's crew....so, the timing was perfect.

This morning they headed north...."P" got lucky...(after all, she is the one who sat waiting and watching until the tickets to Idol went on sale and snagged the 5th row seats). She earned her spot in the car for the road trip. Plus, since Baby Little Brother does not remember too much, we thought it would be extra fun for him to have her to experience the "show and tell."

This morning as I watched the car pull away....I was jealous. REALLY jealous of my own flesh and blood. (NO...not b/c of "HIM"...although I have to do a self check on that one, every now and then....WHAT was I thinking? I gave my tickets away!). I was jealous that they have grown up and the desire to be together still burns within them. They love each other so deeply. They are the epitome of what siblings everywhere should be. They live their own lives. They are independent of each other, yet so dependent on each other for the other(s) love. They are proud for each other. They are excited when something good comes to one of them. They hurt if the other one hurts. They adore each other's children. Baby Little Brother loves his nieces and nephews beyond words. He thinks about them. He does things for them. He plays with them. He is a great uncle. "P" is an amazing "uncle's girlfriend." Their children love their aunt(s) and uncle(s).

They are happy. They laugh. They cry. They argue (debate is a better word, although if you could hear them it sounds like arguing). They are family. I miss that with my siblings. We love each other, very much. But, we are an "event" family. We have let life and its interruptions keep us distracted. We don't make a lot of effort to be with each other. We make efforts to be with my aging parents, but not each other. I am sad about that. Somebody has to do it...nobody does. We are "too busy." I know they love me...I know they know I love them. But, we just don't work very hard at interacting. We need to do better. I need to do better. I need to be the "somebody who does it."

As far as my "sacrifice" ...yeah, let's just keep that one between us. I like Snarky thinking she owes me BIG TIME....

I will pretend today was the ultimate "What a Mother Will Do for Her Children" sacrifice. But, you and I know that today was just the opposite....it was what my children did for me today.....they were together. Older, wiser and stronger as people, but the same as brothers and sister. They were friends today taking a road trip.

And you know they are right...."those were good old days in Memphis." We didn't have a garage with doors or a fishing boat or even stairs, but we had each other. We were so rich then and even more so now. We were and are a "family."

Snarky and Little Brothers....have fun....these are treasured memories and that is what life is all about.

This post made me cry, since my first just flew the nest last weekend. With my oldest and youngest to be nineteen years apart, this achievement in your life seems elusive to me at best. But it does give me hope that one day, they will all reunite and share and love and enjoy each other.Now I'm headed back to my tear-stained pillow. Thanks a lot. I needed to hear this today.

I am pretty sure that makes you Mother of the Year!! Not only do you give up your tickets but you let your kids be together on a fun road trip! Although I would have loved to see HIM in person but I would not have wanted to suffer thru Danny G for anything!!