Cool I'll just get a cheap pair of combat shorts from asda or primark or something lol. I think the session I'm attending isn't thai boxing but submission wrestling. Have to go to a thai class to at some point. I couldn't throw a roundhouse head kick to save my life right now.

Packing your Man United football shorts and Ocean Pacific t-shirt into your rucksack; you head off with a twinge of excitement in your belly. Soon you’ll be a real cage fighter…

Arriving at your local sports hall; you find a curtained off area at the back. You are three minutes late and casually walk over to where the heavy grunting noises are emanating from. Peering behind the curtain, you see guys standing up with chests against each other, jockeying to get arms under their partners. It’s called “pummeling” apparently. Everybody wears tight vale tudo shorts or some kind of shorts with splits on the side and various fight logo’s. You are the only one in Man United shorts. You’re an idiot and you stand out like a pedophile in a playground.
A slim Brazilian kid around 19 years old introduces himself as Thiago. “Fancy a roll?” he asks. You are puzzled and try to explain that you have just eaten some crisps. He chuckles at your pea-brained understanding and explains that “a roll” is a term for grappling. “Oh sure” you say, pretending you knew and were just kidding.
Thiago immediately pulls guard and you have no clue what the hell he is doing. His right hand cusping your neck and left arm entwined with yours, there is a shuffle of his hips and then a surge of pain in your shoulder. You submit by shouting “Aaahhhh, aah, nng, ooo”. Thiago advises that next time you should tap him with your spare hand.

I don't believe in belts. There should be no ranking system for toughness.