Dhoondte reh jaaoge

One of my favourite features on WordPress is the search terms summary they provide.You know, considering all I have is a full time job, a baby, an incessant need to work out, a library membership, I basically have all the time in the world to look at these statistics. And even better, do to this data what I do for a living. Analyse it.

Yes, analyse it, but differently. Instead of just stating the facts as they are and deriving quantitative outcomes of them, I have decided to go one step further and read between the lines. Look at what the numbers don’t say, but want to tell. The hidden meanings. The underlying truths. The secret.

Ok. Let’s start.

Fact – In the past year, people reached this blog through search terms a grand total of 1453 times.

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning – What does could this innocent looking number mean, one might wonder. Well, in very simple terms, this means that in the past year, on an average of 4 times a day, an innocent person, generally trying to solve one of life’s many many wondrous mysteries, was led to believe that he would be enlightened here. At this very blog. Everything in this world happens for a reason. And if they were led to this place, there has to be a reason to it. Instead of complaining about the time wasted, it would be good to accept it. And it would be even better to leave a comment, or become a follower.

Fact – 398 of these search items had the term “Shiva” in it

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning – Lord Shiva is all prevailing. Hail Lord Shiva. The very fact that more a fourth of the population which was directed to this blog through search terms, was actually sent in by the Lord himself, proves that he bestows his blessings upon this blog, and indirectly on me. Before anyone kills me,let me clarify, I am not making a joke out of it, I have utmost respect and belief in the power that is Lord Shiva. And let me also clarify that all these searches were to do with my review of the “7 Secrets of Shiva”. Pah, this version doesn’t seem half as deep, does it? You have to take the coolness out of things!

Fact –300 searches had the term “Jeans” in them

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning –If you really want something, the universe conspires to get it for you. In the 300 search terms, the word “Jeans” was always searched for in conjunction with the term “blog”, or worse still “D**** I***”. Which would mean that this was exactly what the searchers were looking for, and it was exactly what they got. Through grit, determination. Actually, through Google. Lucky people. These. Though it is beyond me to understand why you can’t just add this blog to your favourites or something? Or wait. Are you trying to tell me something? Hmph. I don’t want to know.

Fact –189 searches had the term “ Meluha” in it, 23 were for “ A calendar too crowded”

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning – Book reviews get you crazy traffic. What? It doesn’t get any deeper than that.

Fact – 60 searches were for a combination of “blog” , “foreverinbluejeans” with “D**** I****”

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning – However much you hide, the world knows. Ok, thats exaggerated. Let me say, the blog world knows. Yep. I have said this before, and I am repeating myself again. This. is. an. anonymous. blog. Fine. You know me. And fine, the internet is being a total b**** and throwing up this blog every time you search for my name. But for my ego, and faith in the world of virtual anonymity, can you PLEASE stop searching for the blog with my full name, and then landing up here through the link? It hurts. Ok lets make a deal. You search and you find the url, but you don’t click on it. You copy-paste the url. For me? Yes, and please put the fact that I take particular joy in researching and identifying anonymous bloggers in my free time behind you for now.

Fact –13 searches for “A year older, none the wiser”

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning – Wisdom is a state of mind. And you might not notice in this state if the time period being compared are too close together. In concise terms, one year is too short to notice visible changes in your level of maturity. So, do not blame yourself. Instead compare your current wisdom with what you had 5 years ago, and you will see the change. In all probability, it would be a decline, but then we always look at “absolute” change, don’t we?

Fact – 12 searches for “How to deal with jerks/a**h**** on the road”

Deep, insightful, hidden meaningThere are always some people on the road who will consider other people on the road jerks, and these people will be considered jerks by yet another set of people, and this circle will go on and on till it is completed, ensuring that everyone on the road in a way, is a jerk. Except of course you. And me.

Fact – 11 searches were for “Thoda hai Thode ki Zaroorat hai”

Deep, insightful, hidden meaning – Greed is omnipresent. What else? Thoda has no quantitative definition. Tomorrow when you have zyaada instead of thoda, you will reclassify that quantity also as thoda, and want thoda more again. Vicious circle I tell you. Or perhaps it was just that everyone wanted the lyrics of this song, and we are making a big deal out of it. Either way.

Some other gems –In the special mentions category, I would like to send a call out to the people who searched for the below items, the common criteria being , forget a deeper meaning, in most cases I did not even get the basic shallow meaning of these.

chat chennai randomChat transcripts from Chennai chat rooms may be? Or Chaat recommendations in Chennai? r just a random search? What? I want to know now.

bajaj super “girl” -pulsar “ride”Hmm. The advertisement? Is there one with a girl riding a Pulsar? Or some Supergirl video?

meg ryan walks like a manOk, she does, but that’s a mean thing to rub in, don’t you think? And what were you looking for? People who had the same opinion. Damn it. Guilty.

hilarious manner blogsIf only there was no “manner” in between, then I would be thanking you. Compliment, it would be.But what is ‘manner” for? Manners? That would be mean.

pexnidia me kseraEh?

tharani godivaDouble Eh?

dirty picture forwardsHmph. This is U rated blog, if you didn’t know. Not cool.

learnings about the congo poemMore than the learnings from the poem, I actually want to know how that led you here. Really. Beats me.

swaram “scooter”Swaram, they want to know about your scooter. That’s all I can come up with.

wtf were you thinkingYep,seriously. What were you thinking? Also, should I be worried that that led to this blog. Oh well.

And that I think is a lot for you to ponder over on a Tuesday. I am sure all the deep meaningful insights will help you understand life better.

😐 I think it’s the fact that my old url was my name. My fault. Not that I am controversial 😉
I don’t know man! I am baffled by the search terms. There are more, but I cant put them all out here!
About where this is, click on the stats symbol on the left top of your page after logging in. You see the world map on the right na? Under the bar chart? Under that you have referrers? Under that, you have ” Search Engine terms”. 😀 let me know what your treasure contains!
Thank you so much!

Lolmax! WordPress stats are really more “amusing” than “amazing”! Most of the search hits I get on my blog are highly correlated to the frequency with which those terms occur on my blog (and the way it should be)… but here are some funny terms people have searched for and reached my blog:
“chasma frame”
“crazy chat”
“mast hai bhai”
“korean girls”
etc

Well, as you know, when it comes to music, I am an out and out Bollywood person, and The Dude, well he is a total angrez! I clearly remember the day I was trying to set up this new blog, sitting on a bean bag on a saturday night, while HIS music was playing. I was complaining how it was unfair that I could not use any song name in hindi for my blog, well because it won’t go with the general theme. That is when Forever in blue jeans started playing. And this is one of the earliest songs that he had made me listen to and I had fallen in love with. It kept playing, and he kept giving random suggestions, all except this. And it took the end of the song for the dimaag ki batti to get lit! It was perfect, the song, the setting, our whole life 🙂
Phew!

Oh yeah, I thought someone is finding me using code words 😆 But the happiness did not last long when Google Translate showed the equivalent to be Are of Khamis Gaddafi Married or not a prophet know I Anh sigh!!