Friday, March 31, 2006

Still under construction, but i had to get something down

HOW TO ARGUE

I guess this is primarily for my male brethren, as females in general have the advantage of superior body language-reading ability, as well as the ability to withhold sex in most relationships should they be especially feisty and sore at losing. It's obviously no equivalency of a priest penitent privelege, all can use this advice as they wish, and it's also always important to remember that they are guidelines, and that all situations, especially ones as volatile as relationships, have their own caveats and equalities/inequalities.

1. ONLY EXPRESS EMOTIONS THAT ARE BENEFICIAL TO YOUOf course, the goal of this advice is to reach a point where you only FEEL emotions beneficial to you. But that's a tough nut to crack, and reaching that level of selective disaffection requires months, even years of practice. The way to attain that plateau is to first focus on only expressing those emotions that help you - sensory deprivation of your other emotions is the way to eventually eliminate them. In other words, until you're there, fake it.It's good to note that one emotion, anger, is nearly always detrimental to you. It makes you say stupid, shortsighted things that you'll regret when you calm down. Even if getting mad and screaming gets you your way temporarily, you're not winning the fight, you're just proving you can intimidate someone. It's no more a tactic to be proud of than crying to get your way even when you're wrong.

2. NO SYMPATHYBe sympathetic when the fight is over. Nothing ruins your mid-fight chances quite like caving in due to your others' emotions. This is especially notable with crying. Do not fall for crying. Be understanding but firm.

3. EVERYTHING THEY FEEL IS STUPID, WRONG, AND CHILDISH Communicate this through everything you say, every way you move, and your tone of voice. Be gently mocking, as if talking to someone you genuinely feel bad for because they're in denial of your rightness. Speak with a constant snicker if possible. Explain why their words are wrong, but remember that your real enemy is what they feel that makes them say those wrong words. Change that and you've won easily.

4. BE CRUEL SUBTLY, NOT OVERTLYThey know as much about you as you know about them. Being blatantly nasty is far less damaging than being constantly quietly cruel, and makes you look like an aggressor. A vulnerable one, at that, because once you open the door to overt cruelty they're free to either indulge in it themselves without fear of reproach or, worse, to take the moral high ground and deal a major blow to your appearance in the fight.

5. NEVER, EVER GIVE UPThere's one notable exception to this: admitting defeat on a minor, perhaps semantical issue if it makes them look petty and immature for focusing on it. Otherwise, stick to it. Better to let it simmer for days then to lose.