A part time stay home dad enjoying (nearly) every minute of it…

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The Conversation to Delay Bedtime…

The lights were off. Star frog was casting his glow across the ceiling. A certain 5 year old was nestled under the covers, his little head on the pillow all ready for a good night’s sleep. Then this happened…

Bang: In a long long long hundred and 500 million days Laurie (the bus driver) was trying to say “Who’s this hat?” but the radio was coming on and on and on. He couldn’t even say it so he didn’t say. He just kept the hat.
Me: Ohhh… Was it his hat?Bang: No. He wears all his hats. But only his light brown. It could be just dark brown. I don’t care. And I really really love Laurie and the bus. Me: Why?Bang: I don’t know. Do you know why I love the bus?Me: Why?Bang: Do you know why I love Laurie?Me: Why?Bang: He drives so fast and I love going fast. And I like his hat, too. Me: AhhBang: Guess why I love the busMe: uhhBang: Because last time I was little I couldn’t even see out the window. The windows were high high up and I couldn’t see out the window so I was looking at these black thingys and now I can see out the window a little bit. Why do we get new busses every day?Me: Just depends on which one Laurie is driving.Bang: Are some broken?Me: Sometimes.Bang: And why do bus drivers say you can sit in the back?Me: Just letting you know you can go to the back. You don’t have to sit in the front.Bang: No because last time the bus driver girl (a substitute driver) she said the little boy can go in the back. He did. *YAWN* Is there anything with police officers and trains? Do trains speed?
Me: Sometimes, but they don’t get in trouble for it unless they crash.Bang: What happens if they crash?Me: It makes a great big mess and it costs a lot of money to clean it up. Then the train driver gets in trouble for going too fast and he doesn’t get to drive trains any more.Bang: What happens if you uhh….. I know how the builders can get in trouble. Me: How?Bang: They build the wrong tunnel and on the edge of the tunnel they build a wall instead of a tunnel. Then they would go to jail. Me: Mm hmm.Bang: I know how else.Me: How?Bang: When someone is on the track, the trains usually stop but they never stop. Is that how they could get in trouble?Me:…Bang: And how else? If someone is on top of the train?Me: Mm hmm. Then the person on top gets in trouble.Bang: Well then, uhh… actually. Are you allowed going backwards in trains?Me: Yeah.Bang: Well what if they have only one engine? Err How else can they get in trouble?Me: By not stopping at red lights.Bang:There’s no caution lights. Me: Sometimes they have to stop because there’s a train coming from the other way and it needs to switch tracks. If they don’t stop in the right place the trains will run into each other if they don’t switch tracks in time.Bang: Oh yeah! Just like Thomas!Me: Mm hmm.Bang: They have red lights and green lights. But do they have caution lights? Me: No, just red and green.Bang: What happens if they’re too big?Me: Then they can’t pull their cars and they’re stuck.Bang: No, if they’re too big and they knock down the caution light. Me: Oh. The caution light doesn’t go over the tracks. It’s beside the track.Bang: What happens if they hoot? If it gets jammed. They jam it with something?Me: (I missunderstand) Then the sign breaks and they have to fix it.Bang: What sign breaks?Me: The caution sign.Bang: No. Like the hooter. When you jam the….Me: Ohhh. The hooter. The hoo hoo.Bang: Yeah. When you pull that and jam it with a tack, is that how you get in trouble?Me: Yep. That’ll get you in trouble. You need your hoo hoos to warn cars that you’re coming. When there’s a road across the tracks?Bang: Yeah, I know that. Just like running. (I go running pushing him in a jogging stroller to where train tracks cross the road)Me: Yeah. And they have to blow the horn before they cross the road.Bang: Well then it’d be honking all day if you jammed it. Me: Mm hmm.Bang: What happens if you put something down the hoo hoo?Me: Uhhh… It’ll go down into a big tank of water because that’s where it makes steam by boiling water.Bang: Well how does oil make steam?Me: It doesn’t.Bang: Well then what makes steam?Me: Water. When it gets hot it boils and makes steam.Bang: Just like potatoes?Me: Yeah!Bang: And broccoli?Me: Mm hmmBang: What happens if they put the biggest rock like it can fit down the hoo hoo but not into the tank?Me: Then the steam can’t get out and all the pressure builds up inside the tank and it explodes.Bang: Oh my God! What happens if you let the train go and there’s no one inside?Me: Then it’ll go too fast and it’ll crash.Bang: No. Not like just too fast….Is there buttons in trains?Me: Yeah.Bang: Why do trains talk?Me: Just the Thomas trains talk.Bang: Why?Me: Because it’s a cartoon.Bang: Why do our trains talk?Me: What do they say?Bang: Hello Gordon!Me: Okay. Time to roll over and go to sleep.Bang: How else can they get in trouble?Me: I’ll answer all your questions in the morning.Bang: I know that cars can speed.Me: Mm hmm
Bang: *spells something in a whisper then growls to clear his throat*

One minute and 7 seconds of silence later…

Bang: I need to pee…

This was an 11 minute conversation. I recorded it on my cell phone so I was able to transcribe it verbatim. This is a nightly occurrence. After writing it all out I have discovered something interesting. You can see he’s full of life in the beginning. Animated. Long sentences. More complicated questions. Then towards the end his sentence start getting shorter and his questions aren’t as in depth. You see sleep taking over.

Nice. I hate the whys. I’ll tell him to get dressed. Why? Cause I said so. Why did u say so? Cause I’m the boss now go get dressed before we’re late. And he’ll tell me but I’m the boss. Uh no. Wrong answer.

When they get home from school we ask them how their day was and what they did. “Good” and “I don’t know” are the only 2 answers we get. However, when bedtime rolls around it all comes back to them.They attempt to fit in a 7 hour school day before sleep.

Exactly! Sometimes I wonder if they even went. I’ve learned to ask different question. Did you have gym today? What was your favorite part. Who did you play with at recess? Depending on his mood he won’t even answer those. But at time he’d talk the ears off a wooden horse!