June 16, 2012

Vajayjay and its Discontents

I'm sure everyone's been reading about the 'vagina flap' segment of Michigan's War on Women. This morning, my husband and I called the offices of GOP Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas to let him know our concerns. We got a recording and left the following message:

Me: Sir, I'd like to know what you plan to do about the secret pee-pee place problem. I mean, really: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE SECRET PEE-PEE PLACE??!

LANSING - Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas (R-Midland) today banned two Democratic women legislators from speaking on the House Floor as the House of Representatives takes up its final legislation before the summer recess. State Representatives Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield) and Barb Byrum (D-Onondaga) were not told why the ban was put in place, but it is widely believed it stems from their opposition to radical anti-choice legislation that passed the House yesterday.

After offending Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas by using the offensively medically accurate word “vagina” in an impassioned floor speech opposing Michigan’s draconian new abortion law, State Representative Lisa Brown was banned indefinitely from speaking on the floor of the House of Representatives. Her colleague Barb Byrum, another passionate pro-choice elected official, was also served with an indefinite Shut The Fuck Up order from the the male-lead body. Apparently, during Michigan’s War on Women, ladies aren’t even allowed to serve in combat.

Apparently, not only is “uterus” an inappropriate and offensive term, but the word “vagina” is, too — at least in Michigan.

You know “vagina.” You either have one, or you know someone who has one. You definitely came out of one, and chances are you’re trying to get back inside of one right now.

Well, here’s a tip for all you Michiganders: if you’re successful in getting inside one, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

Whatever you do, don’t yell “Vagina!” like you would “Eureka!” upon discovering gold at the end of a rainbow, or gaining entrance to a highly coveted and special place. “Vagina” is offensive and will get you a proper scolding and banned from speaking if you dare use the term during a House debate about legislating vaginas

Comments

Vajayjay and its Discontents

I'm sure everyone's been reading about the 'vagina flap' segment of Michigan's War on Women. This morning, my husband and I called the offices of GOP Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas to let him know our concerns. We got a recording and left the following message:

Me: Sir, I'd like to know what you plan to do about the secret pee-pee place problem. I mean, really: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE SECRET PEE-PEE PLACE??!

LANSING - Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas (R-Midland) today banned two Democratic women legislators from speaking on the House Floor as the House of Representatives takes up its final legislation before the summer recess. State Representatives Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield) and Barb Byrum (D-Onondaga) were not told why the ban was put in place, but it is widely believed it stems from their opposition to radical anti-choice legislation that passed the House yesterday.

After offending Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas by using the offensively medically accurate word “vagina” in an impassioned floor speech opposing Michigan’s draconian new abortion law, State Representative Lisa Brown was banned indefinitely from speaking on the floor of the House of Representatives. Her colleague Barb Byrum, another passionate pro-choice elected official, was also served with an indefinite Shut The Fuck Up order from the the male-lead body. Apparently, during Michigan’s War on Women, ladies aren’t even allowed to serve in combat.

Apparently, not only is “uterus” an inappropriate and offensive term, but the word “vagina” is, too — at least in Michigan.

You know “vagina.” You either have one, or you know someone who has one. You definitely came out of one, and chances are you’re trying to get back inside of one right now.

Well, here’s a tip for all you Michiganders: if you’re successful in getting inside one, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

Whatever you do, don’t yell “Vagina!” like you would “Eureka!” upon discovering gold at the end of a rainbow, or gaining entrance to a highly coveted and special place. “Vagina” is offensive and will get you a proper scolding and banned from speaking if you dare use the term during a House debate about legislating vaginas