8.28.2013

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: The 5 Best Sports Films (and What the Others Get Wrong)

There's a speech in the 1985 high-school wrestling film Vision Quest that
sums up the essence of what sports is all about — as well as what makes
a great sports film. The speech is delivered by Elmo, a middle-aged fry
cook with no prospects for the future. He explains to high-schooler
Louden Swain (Matthew Modine) why he shouldn't quit wrestling. Elmo
describes watching a soccer player he'd never heard of jump in the air,
flip into a somersault, and kick the ball, while upside-down and
backward, into the goal. Elmo admits to Louden that he cried: "That's
right, I start crying. Because another human being, a species that I
happen to belong to, could kick a ball, and lift himself, and the rest
of us sad-assed human beings, up to a better place to be, if only for a
minute... Let me tell ya, kid — it was pretty goddamned glorious."The best sports films, like the best of any kind of art, lift us
"sad-assed human beings" up to a "goddamned glorious" place by showing
us what we are capable of. Whether it's Jesus or Jordan or Jobs, we are
inspired by those people of extraordinary achievement to become
extraordinary ourselves. The best sports films also use sports as a
metaphor for some larger theme. The reason sports is such a rich source
is that it mirrors our attempts to impose order, morality, and fair play
on an otherwise chaotic and selfish world. We use sports as a training
ground to teach our young moral lessons: try hard, be disciplined, play
fair.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar playing for the Lakers.

We see sports films constantly preaching that winning isn't the
achievement, that perseverance, being a team player, and fair play, are
the achievement. But where sports films go wrong is in usually finding a
way to contradict themselves by telling us that once you've learned
those lessons, you will go on to win. In that way, even many of the best
sports films cheat. They aren't so much sports films as
feel-good-about-how-far-we've-come sociological fantasies that are built
around sports. Remember the Titans, The Blind Side, Glory Road, and others "based on a true story" are mostly about racial issues and less about the sport. Some highly praised sports films — Raging Bull, The Natural, The Color of Money — are bloated and self-conscious. Some fan favorites — Rudy, Field of Dreams — overly sentimentalize sports. These films are all good; they just aren't among the best sports films.With that in mind, here are what I consider the five best American
sports films, each featuring a different sport, plus why they excel, and
when they commit flagrant fouls. (Warning: Spoilers throughout.)1. The Hustler (1961)What they got right: This is the best sports film ever made
because it conveys the athlete's passion for his sport better than any
other film. Granted, pocket billiards is technically more a game than
sport, but none of that matters in this story of "Fast Eddie" Felson's
(Paul Newman) fall from grace and redemption as he realizes that winning
just for personal glory has a cost greater than the gain. His wolfish
hunger and raw competitiveness is most evident in the bus-station scene
and bar scene in which he tries to pick up the emotionally damaged Sarah
Packard (Piper Laurie). That he knows she's an alcoholic and uses that
to have sex with her shows that he's willing to do anything to win. The
winning-at-all-costs ethic is embodied in the shady character of gambler
Bert (George C. Scott), who wins in order to crush others because he's
emotionally dead inside. Never in any other sports film have the stakes
been so high or the outcome so satisfying. Fast Eddie's redemption
doesn't come by winning in the end; it comes by his willingness to
sacrifice himself for what's right — which he learned from Sarah.What they got wrong: Nothing.2. Hoosiers (1986)What they got right: This film is rightfully beloved by many because it's not about basketball as much as it is about, like The Hustler, personal
redemption. Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) only gets the job of coaching in
the small Indiana town of Hickory because he's friends with the
principal. Since he lost his last coaching job for hitting a student,
this is pretty much his last chance. But it's not just about his
redemption. It's also about the redemption of Shooter (Dennis Hopper),
the alcoholic parent of one of the high-school players. Wait, there's
more: It's also about the socialization of the town's best player, Jimmy
Chitwood, giving him something worth playing for rather than just
self-aggrandizement. The basketball scenes are spunky and entertaining,
but they are just a light meant to illuminate the characters.What they got wrong: The film is "loosely based" on real
events. As much as I find last-second baskets to win the championship
cheesy, that actually happened, so I can't complain in this case. What
they did get wrong was trying to rewrite racial history by showing
integrated teams and stands in the early 1950s when that wasn't the
case. They could have presented a realistic portrayal of the racial
tensions, thereby showing that basketball was a means of social
salvation for African-Americans at the same time it was a means of
redemption for the white characters.3. Vision Quest (1985)What they got right: The speech I quoted above pretty much
tells you what they got right: the social significance of sports. The
film actually questions some of the clichés of sports films. For
example, in an early scene, the wrestling coach gives a speech about how
anyone who wants to wrestle in a weight class has to beat the current
ranking wrestler in that class and how fair that system is. When Louden,
who is the top wrestler in his weight class, announces that he's
dropped weight and will continue to do so in order to wrestle the
state's unbeaten champ, the coach pulls him aside to talk him out of it.
When the "fair" system goes against what those in charge want, people
get upset. This is echoed when Louden, who wants to become a medical
student, writes an article for the school newspaper on the clitoris and
the newspaper is shut down. Freedom of speech unless you say something
we don't like. Another idea the film takes on is the familiar one about teamwork.
When Louden's teammates discover he's going to take on Shute, they are
angry at him because his personal mission doesn't help the team win. To
which he replies, "In case you haven't noticed, westling's not a team
sport." But he does go on to inspire his teammates with his
single-minded pursuit of doing the impossible.What they got wrong: This coming-of-age story gets most of it
right — until the ending. The novel that the movie is based on got it
right by ending the story just as Louden is about to wrestle Shute. He
thinks, "I'm calm as I enter the circle. Behind me trails a brief
tradition. It's made up, but it's mine. Win or lose, the river flows
again." He has won by facing Shute. It doesn't matter what happens in
the actual match. In fact, that's also what the film is telling us all
along. But Hollywood doesn't trust audiences and thinks that we need to
see him beat Shute, so they show him winning and being carried out by
the team, which kind of spits in the face of the rest of the film.4. Bull Durham (1988)What they got right: This movie is revolutionary
in many ways: It's a baseball story narrated by a woman, Annie (Susan
Sarandon); it's not about the glories of winning but about passion for
the game; the main character, "Crash" Davis (Kevin Costner), doesn't
triumph over adversity, but matures into understanding that baseball has
a role in his life, but isn't his entire life. The film incorporates
quotes from William Blake and Walt Whitman to reveal the poetic
attributes of sport. Though the structure is familiar, the individual
scenes are surprising and refreshing. The love of baseball is evident
throughout.What they got wrong: Nothing. Director-writer Ron Shelton (White Men Can't Jump, Tin Cup) is the best sports filmmaker around. He recognizes both its personal fascination and its social influence.5. Breaking Away (1979)What they got right: Like Vision Quest, this is a
coming-of-age story about four buddies from Bloomington, Indiana, who
have given up on the American Dream. The opening scene introducing the
four friends is one of the best in sports films, revealing their
cynical, disillusioned, or falsely romantic take on the world. These
"townies" are marginalized by the university in their town, and seem
destined to watch other people's children come in, get educated, and go
on to be successful, while they can only watch. A bicycle race at the
end gives them another shot, and shows their problems are caused by
their own attitude more than outside reality.What they got wrong: The film has some basis in fact in that
the character of Dave Stoller is based on a real guy who did ride 139 of
the 200 laps of the Little 500 and crossed the finish line as the
winner. Having the four pals win the race against the spoiled university
students is meant to be a boost of self-esteem telling them that they
are capable of achieving anything. However, it rings a bit hollow and
contrived, a feel-good ending to make us forget the reasons they were so
beaten down in the first place: bad economy, no job opportunities,
parents barely scraping by.The Honorable MentionsThere are many more sports films that are terrific. Here are 10 more, in no particular order:Bang the Drum Slowly (1973): One of the most touching sports
films ever. The story of a dying catcher played by Robert De Niro and
the profound effect he has on the team.The Boys in Company C (1978): Haven't heard of this one? Plus,
it's set in Vietnam during the war? No, I haven't gone nuts. This story
of American soldiers in Vietnam in 1968 uses soccer to reveal the
battle between honor and corruption.A League of Their Own (1992): There is crying in every sport,
whether anyone admits it. In this tale of the All-American Girls
Professional Baseball League in 1943, the disparity of women's roles in
American society is just as poignant today as it was when this was made.Downhill Racer (1969): Robert Redford stars at an arrogant,
self-centered skier whose desire for personal success leads him on a
downhill course in which sports victory equals personal loss.Personal Best (1982): Mariel Hemingway plays a track-and-field
athlete striving to join the Olympic team. Her conflicts with coaches,
lovers, and teammates provide a realistic portrayal of the sport.White Men Can't Jump (1992): It's about basketball, but it's
not about basketball. It's about how basketball is a kind of language in
male relationships, and how that can get in the way of more mature
relationships. Tin Cup (1996): This film gets to the heart of an important
aspect of sports: the personal challenge of doing what's never been
done, even if it's not the smart play. Again, it's about the passion for
the sport and how that reflects the athlete's passion for life.Rocky (1976): Most people don't remember that Rocky doesn't
win the Big Fight against Apollo Creed. The fact that he doesn't win is
proof of filmmakers' convictions.Champion (1949): Kirk Douglas as a fighter who starts out a
decent guy but is destroyed by his own ambition captures the demons pros
are still fighting today. The Great White Hope (1970): On one level, this fictionalized
account of early-20th-century boxing champion Jack Johnson explores
racism of the time. On another level, it reveals what a sports icon is
to people — what they want, what they will accept, and what they won't.

8.25.2013

I don't have a monopoly on gratitude or humility, but my face is in it right now. Travelling across country with my husband, his leg cast, scooter, crutches (yes, you need both) and our two young sons has given me a new taste.

The wheelchair accesses are in the dirty bowels of buildings, always a mile out of the way of anything. Crowds are hard but most people are wonderful. My husband is proud and independent but now I must scout ahead to be sure we can get into bathrooms, restrooms, museums...

I now know what a bridge plate is...the difference between getting on a train, subway, or bus.

My resentment about this foot accident has evaporated. Instead, I now see my husband's sweet spirit. Our sons are experiencing a realistic dose of caring for their father, as millions of other children care for their parents daily, for years on end. The oldest has stepped up to lift and carry...not embarrassed once.

A lady on our flight had no legs. And yesterday we rode the hotel elevator with a cheerful school teacher, who had major burn scars on her face and arms, missing fingers. She had just walked 2 miles to see Fenway stadium. I only notice because of our predicament. Life is fragile. People are amazing. I hope to be kind.

8.18.2013

Backpacking Basics II: What's Inside Your Pack
So you have your backpack loaded with all the
"necessary" items for your next backpacking trip. Still think you might
be carrying too much? Join REI for this small group session on how to
cut weight and tailor your gear to best suit your needs.

8.17.2013

Rublev 1400's

Please
join Christina and learn the ancient technique of meditation.
Meditation is a user-friendly, affordable, and always accessible way to
manage stress and improve our physical well-being. Research has
consistently proven that mindful meditation guides us to better sleep,
less physical complaints, and reduced interpersonal tension. Christina
Neumeyer, M.A., a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, incorporates
into this popular class Cognitive Behavioral Therapy skills, as well as
an informative discussion on factors that lead to depression, anxiety,
and insomnia.

8.15.2013

The DSM V has arrived, and the world
is largely unchanged. The new iteration opts for the status quo, which
is what happens when you have to please those with competing agendas. If
you are looking for something more dramatic you will have to wait
another decade for the DSM VI.

For biblical counselors, an overarching principle still applies:
psychiatric diagnoses can open our eyes to see real human struggles, and
these same diagnoses can distract us from Scripture’s insights and
spiritual causes or contributions.

With this in mind, I’ll dive into DSM V and grab one of the new diagnoses—hoarding.

8.13.2013

8.12.2013

Why Premarital Education/Counseling Matters

Currently,
divorce rates hover around 50%. It’s not a pretty figure. But the good
news is that marriage and relationship education (MRE) or premarital
counseling can help. In fact, premarital counseling can help reduce your
likelihood of divorce by 30%. Studies have found that premarital
education can increase communication and lower conflict. Despite these
compelling statistics, most people continue to be blasé—or downright
resistant—toward marriage and relationship education (MRE) or premarital counseling. Why are we so wary of activities with so much potential to enhance our marriage and overall happiness?
Before we explore the reasons behind this resistance, let’s define the
terms. Most people are already familiar with premarital counseling. Most
people are not as familiar, however, with the idea of marriage and
relationship education (MRE). In short, MRE teaches skills,
attitudes and behaviors to help individuals and couples achieve
long-lasting, successful marriages and intimate partner relationships.
Most MRE programs are conducted in structured group formats, using
widely tested curricula. Unlike counseling, MRE is not defined as a
clinical practice and emphasizes the prevention of relationship problems
rather than their “treatment.”

Tackling Premarital Phobias

Wedding-Myopia
During the chaos of planning a wedding,
it can be hard to find the time or energy for MRE or premarital
counseling. Weddings are expensive, lavish and complicated—they can
easily consume all your attention. But while the longing for a beautiful
wedding is understandable, a beautiful marriage
should be even more coveted. Couples who participate in premarital
education or counseling generally enjoy happier marriages. Don’t let the
pursuit of the “perfect” wedding distract you from your ultimate goal: a loving and lasting marriage.The Invincibility Myth
Engagement is a stressful, but often euphoric time. Despite the very
real possibility of divorce, enraptured couples often persist with an
“it will never happen to us” mentality. Perhaps it won’t, but MRE or
premarital counseling are among your best defenses against divorce.
Don’t just think your marriage is indestructible; help to make it so.Overcoming Male Resistance
Men may be especially resistant to premarital counseling, at least
initially. They may be hesitant to discuss their inmost feelings and
relationship struggles with a stranger. For such men, marriage and
relationship education may be a less threatening alternative to
premarital counseling. MRE workshops are generally held in group
settings and focus on building core relationship skills such as
communication and conflict resolution. MRE’s skill-based,
solution-oriented approach may be more appealing to men who perceive
counseling as too “touchy feely” or too personal.Alternatives to the Dreaded ‘Counseling’ Word
Women can also be put off by the term “counseling.” To some, this term
implies there is something fundamentally wrong in their relationship,
which is not necessarily the case. But for those who are bothered by the
term—or who want to try a different approach—marriage and relationship
education (MRE) can be a great solution. MRE is focused on building the
core skills that facilitate healthy relationships.Not Knowing Where to Turn
Many people simply don’t know where to turn to find good MRE or
premarital counseling. Most couples typically receive premarital
counseling from a religious advisor. Some religious institutions, such
as the Roman Catholic Church, even require it. However, premarital
counseling is also available from non-religious sources as well.
Research available MRE or premarital counseling services in your area or
review the list of relationship resources, sorted by state, featured on our website.Lack of Funds
Many churches and community organizations offer free or low-cost
premarital services. Admittedly, not everyone across the country has
access to free premarital counseling or education. Still, when you
compare the relatively minor costs of premarital preparation to the
costs of divorce, MRE or premarital counseling is a much better bet. A
little money up front can potentially save you a lot of money later on.
If you truly can’t afford it, consider asking for an unconventional
wedding gift from your closest friends or family: MRE or premarital
counseling. Many people will jump at the chance to give a wedding
present with the potential to last considerably longer than those bath
towels.

Benefits of Premarital Preparation

MRE or premarital counseling will give you the chance to enhance your
core relationship skills. Additionally, premarital preparation may
provide you and your partner the opportunity to:

Define and discuss expectations for marriage, finances, work and children

Potentially get a discount on your marriage license—many states
provide this incentive for couples who complete a designated number of
premarital preparation hours

Too often, those considering premarital education or counseling view it
as a chore, rather than a privilege. But premarital preparation is one
of the most powerful tools for ensuring the love you and your currently
partner feel continues throughout a lifetime.thetwoofus website