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Watching John with Billy Mays, it was suddenly so clear. The salesman wouldn't stop, it would never leave him. It would never hurt him or shout at him or get drunk and hit him or say it was too busy to spend time with him. And it would die to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers that came over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only thing that measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

Listen, and understand. That salesman is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you have experienced the power of Oxi-Clean.

CONGRATS! You have won the Internets! This is amazing... absolutely amazing. Maybe this will spawn some Shamwow-T1000 spinoff. Something I am too lazy to do as well. GOD SPEED, Captain of entertainment.

they did the exact same thing to jimmy chamberlain at the end of the april fools parody of the smashing pumpkins dvd "if all goes wrong", entitled, "if something goes right". wow what a fun fact! i laughed my *ss off at this though. i think i 5'd it. i at least 4'd it. don't remember.