Laser Tattoo?

I’m fairly certain that most of you out there reading these blogs have, at one time or another, seen Starship Troopers. For those of us who aren’t Sci Fi geeks it is a movie about the human race fighting a interstellar war against a highly intelligent race of insects. Who for the better part look more like a LSD inspired nightmare crab than a bug. A pretty neat gore fest in all, as told from an obvious military perspective.

One of the coolest futuristic scenes is when the hero, and his boot camp buddies, decide to get matching tattoos. It’s heartening to know that even in the future the military still keeps the tradition of tattoo. However, the tattoos are now put into the skin by something that is used to remove them in today’s world. A laser. Hey, it’s the future….who knows?

Now I did a little mind expanding in my hey day, so I’m open to all sorts of out of the box thinking. Still, there would have to be one hell of an advance in laser technology for a laser to implant color into the skin, instead of vaporize it. So, you can imagine my surprise to see something about laser “tattooing”. Damn! Could it be? An actual laser tattoo??

Hell no!

Now, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even I know the difference between a tattoo and a branding. Make no mistake, a branding is exactly what this so called laser “tattoo” is. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against branding. Done by a professional, in a safe, sterile environment scarring and branding are as legitimate forms of body art as any other. If that’s what you like, go for it. Unfortunately, that’s not what we’re talking about here.

First off, this is not a tattoo by any definition. It is a branding. Second, it isn’t done by a pro. It is done by some goof bypassing the safeties on an industrial laser cutter, and sticking his body parts in there to have the computer burn the chosen design into his hide. And, yes, it hurts as bad, if not worse, than laser tattoo removal.

Unlike the surgical laser used by a dermatologist to remove a real tattoo, this is an industrial laser. It’s manufactured purpose is to etch steel, plastic, stone, and other non-living material. The laser is not intended for biological material, and isn’t supposed to have any living tissue put under it. Why did he think the safeties were put on the machine for in the first place? Decoration?

If you want to do a branding find a professional who can do a proper job for you. If you want a tattoo, go to a licensed studio and have the design of your dreams placed into your skin. If you want to prove that you need to be cut from the gene pool, or get a good dose of skin cancer, imitate this moron.