There are a lot of things I can live with. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them. So can you imagine how difficult it is to perpetually be in the same breathing space as some who’s level of intelligence is in the negative? Can you understand how the level of difficulty increases when said unintelligent being is part of my group?

I used to think that maybe it’s me. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I expect too much from someone who’s been here for less than a year. I know it’s not fair to compare how I was when I was new, so I try not to (although I end up doing it anyway). But when the consistency of her inconsistencies are unparalleled, and when the simplest of things cannot be done, and when the same errors are being committed time and time again, it leads me to believe otherwise.

It’s. Not. Me.

True enough, there’s more then enough dislike talking through me right now. I’m watching Lady J take the heat for a mistake committed by TGoE. I know it’s part of her role – accountability, right? It’s a leader thing, I get it. As long as The Garden of Eden is under her supervision, it will always be her mistake, even if it’s not. But when you look at the long and sordid situation they’re in and you realize that all of it could have been avoided simply by TGoE correctly managing expectations, can you really blame me for really wanting to drown the latter in the loo?

Lady J wonders why she sticks it out with us. TGoE’s answer is the Ms. Universe response: “I really love what I’m doing.” Dude, seriously. And yet, when the question “But what if what you’re doing doesn’t love you back?” is posed to her (and it has been – many, many times), she has no response.

I’ve come to understand that this seems to be her natural response to potential conflict situations – she withdraws, stays silent, puts on her “kawawa” face (which is the most annoying thing ever), and sulks. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of hers (I have images of her very few neurons playing tag with each other – Goddess knows they have more than enough space). I wonder if it’s ever crossed her mind that she is, for most of the time, at fault? If you just base it on how she retells certain things, there was always someone else who told her the wrong thing. Or there was always someone else who misunderstood (but what she said was really correct. Like REALLY. She’s sure of it). It’s never her. It’s always someone else. Seriously, how long can someone delude themselves into always thinking this way (apparently, it’s been going on for almost 9 months and it’s still going strong!)?

I get it, you know. Her working in this kind of environment is hell for her. It’s difficult enough when you feel everything you do is wrong. It doesn’t help when every single person you work with (at least those who count) confirms this. Often times to your face. Her life in this office? This is her variation of hell.

Lady J is convinced that one day TGoE will decide to leave – not because she’s being to hard on her, not because of the fact that no one ever talks to her in the office (except for Robo-egg and Barney, but those are different stories and will be told at a different time), but because she will never be able to deliver. I, on the other hand, am firmly convinced that she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Try to look at it from a completely predatory point of view:

You get paid every fifteen days to do absolutely nothing of worth except encode random stuff which other people assign to you, mostly because they’re desperate for you to do something. But since you aren’t capable of delivering at a normal capacity, none of them will give you work that actually requires at least the smallest iota of intelligence. After all, at the end of the day, it’ll still be their necks on the line.

So you’re coasting along. No one really talks to you, save for a couple of poor souls who are, more or less, in the same boat, and it’s enough for you because at least you have “friends”. People talk to you behind your back (like literally – they sit behind you and they talk. Using not-so-soft voices) but you don’t really care. After all, work isn’t about making friends. When everyone else is loaded, you finally get assigned to a customer. And because you have all the time in the world, you spend a better half of an hour talking to them on the phone, not even considering that they might not have the same amount of time in their hands. And when you fuck up, you know that someone will always come to your rescue – because even if you know that they abhor your presence, they also have an image to uphold.

So it’s a blessed existence. You get something for doing absolutely nothing. Why on earth, would you leave?

So I’ll say it again. I don’t think she’s going to leave. If she had an ounce of pride, she would have left months ago. If she really cared about the rest of us, she would either have shaped up (because there has been more than enough time for the improvement to show) or shipped out (because her being here is actually weighing us down and we can’t look for a more suitable person because she’s still there).

But where is she? She’s still here. And honestly, I don’t see her going away anytime soon.

One response to “2015: Variations of Hell on Earth”

I don’t know why, but an alert popped into my email about this. i have just spent a delightful several minutes reading this. It is so much more fun when you know exactly who is being referred to and why, especially when you see so little effort is made to disguise identities. Sheer bliss.

While I am certain any idea entering TGoE’s head will likely die of loneliness (remember, she is convinced of a certain Head of State’s religion), I also believe she possesses a certain animal cunning, much like a snake. Ah, the connections! Yes, she has never had it so good, pride and decency notwithstanding. Nobody will work with her, nobody will entrust her with anything significant, so she gets to slack off and still get paid. Sweet deal.

One final note: will she leave any time soon? I also believe the answer is NO. Because I don’t think she has anywhere else to go.

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Ernest Hemingway “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus One social habit that I used to be quite bad at was to truly listen when other […]

Power is intoxicating. Everyone loves having the ability to make their decisions into reality — to think "this should be something that happens," and then actually be able to make that thing happen. It is also dangerous. And it is especially dangerous when applied to four-year-olds. Four-year-olds lack the experience to wield power responsibly. The […]

I always jokingly say that when I obsess over something I obsess hard. It’s true though! There are so many different things that I fangirl over, but not ALL the time. My fangirling comes and goes in waves. I wanted to create a “weekly” feature to give myself the opportunity to talk about whatever I’m… Continue reading Friday Fanclub – Sailor Moon! […]

When someone upsets us, this is often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from our fantasy. Let’s not get carried away. Calmness is a superpower. Over the past decade, there’s a way of being […]

Despite being a fantasy show, ‘Game of Thrones’ provides a strikingly realistic portrayal of humanity and human nature. All characters on the show, even those reputed for their goodness and honor, are imperfect beings. They all have flaws and weaknesses and all have made some crucial mistakes. Yet it isn’t in humanity’s nature to be […] The post ‘Game of Thr […]

Bus Stop

In a sudden burst of emotion, all I can say to him was, “Ayoko na.”Two months have passed and here I am going strong and seemingly have my life figured all up. The decision to call it off steamed from the fact that the relationship no longer serves me. The pang of emotion from two taciturn soul just couldn’t help bridge whatever chaotic situation it resulted […]

I am actually supposed to do something for work but I felt this itch coming into my fingers and clicked on my blog. I am surprised to see that my last blog entry was last year. Since then, I have never made any entry for this year. What a shame. To tell you honestly, I’ve been so occupied with a lot of things for the past few months. Good thing, they were al […]

On Saturday, February 27 I was blessed to join Greenbelt Chapel’s Lenten Pilgrimage. It was such a blessed experience to have good friends with me as I go through that wonderful spiritual journey. I am… More