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Thanks For the Nightmares

All I wanted was a work-out, or what passes these days for a work out in my world: walking on the treadmill ever so slowly so as not to further injure my hurt glute. Honestly, it’s about one cardiovascular level above those elderly people who do aerobics in their chairs on PBS at 5:00 AM.

And, as if it’s not degrading enough be the only person NOT sweating at the gym, I also was subjected to the broken TV that was mounted above my treadmill. I couldn’t turn it off; I couldn’t change the channel. And there was only one open treadmill.

I am not much of a TV watcher, which I tell you because I want you to feel shame about your TV habits, and I want to be clear that yes, I am better than you are, because I do industrious things with my God-given life force while you are lounging stupidly in front of your TV. (Also, my TV is broken, and I am too lazy to fix it.)

So, you can imagine my horror when I looked up from staring at my feet during my “walk” and saw this image:

Puppeteer caught with child pornography

For the love of the mysterious Higgs Boson, do I need to see that? I am now haunted by this image. It was on the screen for almost a mile, and I was doing a 29-minute mile!

You know what, Feds, I am grateful you caught the Pedophile Puppeteer and that you are focusing your efforts on sick people who prey on children. But, CNN, I am having a hard time not attributing to you a craven motive– it sure looks like you are trying to capitalize on the Penn State furor by showing garish images, which have only a tangential relationship to the story of a successful sting operation. And dear Gym, get your TV’s fixed– I would almost prefer FOX News to that scary puppeteer image.

Zumba is looking more appealing everyday– at least there are no TVs in the studio.

So happy to read this tonight when my daughter is at a slumber party and I’m home alone with Rhys. That image creeps me out completely! I gave up compulsively checking under my bed and in the closets a few years back, but after seeing that image, it’s time for a relapse. Sweet dreams all around!