Lost youths not always a lost cause

Tuesday

Dec 18, 2012 at 6:00 AM

Dianne Williamson

When Norland Martinez learned he would soon become a father, he was a 14-year-old high school dropout who had run away from home and was living in a motel with the proceeds he scraped together from selling pot and cocaine.

To note that Norland wasn’t ready for parenthood is a gross understatement. Sometimes, though, while the system can’t save everyone, it can come through in small ways that add up to big benefits.

After six months as a runaway, Norland was taken into custody in May of 2008, and placed in a group home in Framingham run by the state Department of Children and Families. There, he was taught some needed life skills — discipline, anger management, how to make better choices.

“I got tired of running and tired of selling drugs,” he said. “I knew I had to make a change. That kind of life really isn’t worth it. It has an expiration date.”

Norland was 15 and living in a foster home in July of 2008 when his son, Jayden, was born. Aware that he needed help, the teen sought the services of a home visiting program for young parents run by Healthy Families of Greater Worcester and administered by the Massachusetts Children’s Trust Fund. Healthy Families offers first-time parents ages 20 and under information and support to raise healthy, happy and safe kids; it’s operated by the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

Each week, a trained home visitor met with the teen. He was offered parenting tips and told what to expect from his young child.

Today, Norland is almost 20. He has sole physical custody of his 4-year-old son, and they share a third-floor apartment on Southgate Street. Norland attends Quinsigamond Community College and hopes to transfer to the College of the Holy Cross, where he wants to study theology. He’s a certified nursing assistant. He also works two jobs — one as a substance abuse recovery specialist at a rehab facility in Ashby, and one as a family support advocate at Healthy Families, passing on the same information to young parents that he learned as a first-time father.

Last year, he received the first A. Joseph DeNucci Fatherhood Award from Children’s Trust Fund, in recognition of his accomplishments to improve the lives of his son and himself.

“I know how important it is to be a dad,” said Norland, whose own father was an absentee alcoholic. “I suffered because my own dad left. My son’s life is already different from mine. I hope that I’m the kind of father who he can trust and talk to, especially when he’s a teenager. I want to teach him to make the right decisions in school. He won’t have to wonder where I am, because I’ll always be right here.”

According to Children’s Trust Fund, the state pays $3,000 a year for services to a parent such as Norland. If you think that’s a lot of money, consider that it costs six times that sum to investigate a report of child abuse.

Last Friday, Norland was registering his son for pre-school when he learned that a 20-year-old gunman was killing children in Connecticut. Norland is about the same age as the gunman, Adam Lanza. His son is about the same age as his victims.

“It really hit me in a bad way,” he said simply.

Like most parents of young children, Norland has found himself hugging his son a little harder.

“He’s awesome,” he said. “He’s my best friend. We do everything together — ice skate, go the movies. When I look back on my life five years ago, what was I thinking? I feel like I was blind back then. I feel so blessed.”

Sometimes, especially now, we need a reminder that young men can do great things against tough odds, that the most vulnerable among us don’t always fall through the cracks, and that the system isn’t always so powerless.