BRADLEY COOPER: Ken Jeong’s penis on my neck was very normal. Ken came up with that idea that day.

CHELSEA HANDLER: I bet he did.

BRADLEY COOPER: He said, Hey, Todd, I’d like to be naked. And he’s like, Yeah, sure, whatever. And then I didn’t realize…the part I play in that scenario, was that I get, like, neck herpes from it. But he hid it well, so it was okay.

There’s a lot I could say about this–like, how it’s exactly the kind of unfunny hacky tripe people have come to expect from Chelsea Handler–but I’m just going to let the hate mail that’s going to get heaped on this chick do all the talking.