At the very beginning, there was Ratopia. Then, there's ratology. In ratology, we observe whether psychotic and neurotic people could amount to something. Then, there came the spinal disc herniation and impingement, bringing forth the stage of physical disability. Could someone like me go anywhere or amount to anything is the question. After the official ending of the second psychotic episode lasted for 5 years, I am ready to move on to the next phase of Ratology- as the solutions unfold.

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Thursday, February 5, 2009

In my head

I don't know why but this strange experience I had earlier kept on coming up to my mind...

So, I was in the cold moving towards 120th street around noon...

Nowadays, in ordinary days, the trip between 110th to 120th street could take me up to less than 15 minutes.

However, the 10 block distance took me over 40 minutes today....

Somewhere along the trip, as my feet dropping no more.... for I simply had no more control over my feet... when the only means for me to move forward is to push my thighs so as to move my legs forward...

My head was working and it would like to tell my body to move. However, the body apparently was having problems in carrying on the request...

So, as I was taking one of them inevitable stops, I had this funny feeling... it was as if the body and the mind all of a sudden came into a state of separation....

I stood there with my head seemed to be all together and its presence seemed to have gotten somehow blown up unproportionally...

My head seemed to be looking down at how the body is not moving forward as per its request.... Consequentially, this feeling or thought emerged... a combination of intrigue, curiosity and surprise about the strange kinda dasein moment.... 8-O lol

In retrospective, I wonder... what was in the mind of my head?

Could it actually be wondering... "How on earth could I function better than the body?" or "How on earth did the body, in such as short time, get its own mind?" 8-O lol