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Sunday, November 24, 2013

My trip to Indianapolis was a total success on a lot of different levels. First I was there for an amazing nursing conference. I learned a lot. I got to schmooze with a lot of really big names in nursing. I was inspired to continue my education ASAP. I didn't feel alone in the world of nursing academia for once. The other success of my trip to Indy was a guy that I met. We met the first night that I was there and saw each other basically everyday I was in the city...Let's start with some basic facts. I met the guy and we ended up together in my hotel room pretty shortly after I met him. He was cute, 27, a ginger, has long pony-tail length hair, nice body, pale as a ghost, and beautiful grey eyes. Think cast member from the revival of Hair...We ended up kissing pretty soon after meeting and I noticed the pentagram necklace around his neck. So I of course just had to ask. Mid tongue exploration of my mouth he told me that he was a witch. Yes....a real witch. I asked him what he meant and he proceeded to tell me how he was a practitioner of Wiccan. I'm not one to judge so we continued making out. I was originally going to base his nickname off of this fact, but he asked that I not use his religion in making up his nickname so he is going to just be the IndyGinger.***********************NSFW************************Making out quickly turned to more... Before I really knew what was going on the IndyGinger had dropped to his knees and was undoing my pants asking me to throat fuck him. Now before this post goes any further I have to sort of put together a disclaimer. I am all about having good, safe, fun sexually. So if someone wants me to fuck their throat who am I to judge or not accommodate. So we started fooling around and things got really dirty in a good way really fast. Eventually I figured that he could use a break and we started talking some more. The conversation was again so natural and so easy I couldn't believe it. I learned about a column he writes for a paper about horoscopes. He has two jobs on top of that. He is the oldest of seven....originally from Kentucky. Yes he has an accent...and is a self-proclaimed hillbilly...What was great is that after the talking he was just as into going back to the rough oral sex as I was. The other amazing thing about hooking up with the IndyGinger is that he liked having fun while we fooled around. So he made a game of trying to guess my last name, my birth date, my astrological sign but involving the oral sex. It was honestly so much fun and hot all at the same time. We continued on in this way for a while until he finally wanted me to cum. I explained that I couldn't cum first and he made a quizzical face but just proceeded on. He grabbed my ass and shoved my dick as far down his throat as he could and he came within a minute barely touching his own cock. He then continued sucking me off until I came myself minutes later. ************************SFW*************************We showered and he suggested that we do food or something. I agree for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the conversation had been good and the oral was awesome too. We headed to the grocery store to buy snacks, but ultimately decided that going to a diner for breakfast food would be the better option at this point. We walked into a diner called Peppy's which actually a fairly famous Indy landmark for locals. Basically think Merlotte's from True Blood, but with less thick southern accents, and only white people. What was surreal is that I was sitting their with an out gay witch. It really was like an episode of True Blood in some ways. The cooks/waitstaff were phenomenal and joked around with both the IndyGinger and me. Then as we were about to head out it started pouring rain. As were walking back to the car he stopped me and kissed me in the rain. There was just something so very right about the whole thing. The next day he texted me about going out to dinner. I agreed because after the convention was over there wasn't much for me to do anyway. Plus...he was cute, nice, different, and into me. Probably an hour before we were supposed to meet he asked if I would mind going to his place for dinner. I didn't have any objections so I figured it would be okay...I did make sure my friends from home knew though so I would be getting and giving text message updates...I was actually really excited to have met a nice guy for a change. He picked me up and we went to his house...which he rents alone with the money from his three jobs...oh and did I mention he is in college too...he wants to go to med school to become a D.O. Immediately he started making dinner and I got to look around the house. First let me say the house smelled AMAZING!! I'm not sure what it would feel like for a nose to have an orgasm, but if its possible mine may have had one, from the smell of the oils, the candles, and the food that was being cooked my nose was on total overdrive. Secondly, the house definitely had a Wiccan vibe. I mean besides the altar room where he practiced, there was definitely signs of his religion throughout the house. From the paintings, to the sculptures, to the plants, to the furniture, everything was unique and had a flair of Charmed about it. Finally in the kitchen it was very much like I had stepped into a hippy's place in Cambridge. Home grown and dried herbs, organic food, distilled water, everything looked as though it was right out of a home owned by a college professor and his wife. Dinner was chicken in a tumeric and garlic sauce, cous cous, and baked diced potatoes...DELICIOUS! He could cook and I was thrilled. Conversation throughout dinner flowed just as easily as it had the day before our dinner date. Nothing seemed forced or contrived. It was just easy. I enjoyed hearing about his life and he was interested in mine. After dinner we snuggled up on the couch and watched a crappy James Franco like we had been a couple for years. I laid on him and then when I got sick of that he just snuggled up into the crook of my arm. The movie ended and he offered to let me stay at his place. I thought about it and decided that it would be okay. So I went up to his room and we hopped into bed and simply fell asleep. Nothing sexual at all....just spooning.We woke up a little late the next morning and he was actually late to work...but he insisted on driving me to the door of the hotel to make sure I made it there safely....which made him later to work. Despite his efforts to see me that night I insisted that he stay home and do his homework and sleep. He had to work after all and still had things to do for school...but we ended up texting back and forth all night. The next day the effort to see me doubled and I relented. Though I blamed his own school work on my reasoning for not seeing him the day before a lot of the reason I didn't want to see him was because I was really beginning to like him and I knew I was leaving the coming Wednesday. My own desire to see the IndyGinger overcame my fear that I might actually miss him when I left. ************************NSFW***********************He came over and we were talking and then making out and then fooling around and then he said he wanted me to fuck him. I had condoms...always prepared...just like a girl scout....my Mama taught me right....so I agreed. Unfortunately, he definitely was not use to bottoming. We waited and waited for him to adjust but it just didn't seem to be happening...so I said, "Listen if its not happening that's okay. We don't have to have sex." He looked totally dejected so I offered to bottom, but that just made him look more upset. I then insisted that we stop trying to have anal sex because the oral sex we had been having was so good. He agreed and we kept fooling around. We again played a game this time involving him learning Spanish. It was fun and sexy and it just worked. Everything about us hooking up just worked. When we both finally came we showered and again started having some pillow talk.*************************SFW************************It was at this point that I brought up the fact that I was leaving. Neither one of us really wanted to talk about it. Neither one of us had a very good understanding of what was going to happen after I left. In discussing my trip home we both revealed that we had talked about each other with our friends from home. His friends, a girl and a former pornstar, couldn't believe that I was real. My friends felt the same way about him. We also had the discussion about what would happen if I wasn't leaving the next day. We were both totally agreed that we would be dating. I'm sure that if he lived in Cambridge instead of Indianapolis I would make an effort to continue to see him and date him. Should that change though because of the distance? Neither one of us was sure. He finally left with a passionate kiss and a peck good bye. The minute he had walked out the door I could tell I was going to miss him. Isn't that completely insane? I knew someone for four days and on my trip home I knew I was going to miss them. I swear I am losing my mind. I have been home for four days now and have spoken with him every day.Yesterday I got this text: "So....I really miss you...a lot...lol. No joke" I didn't even know how to respond. I miss him too. I let him know that I was willing to continue talking but I wasn't sure exactly how this would work. He agreed that for now texting and phone calls were probably the best idea since he doesn't have skype. He called me today and we talked on the phone for at least 20 minutes. We didn't talk about anything particularly important: how our weeks had gone, how my trip home went, and other things we had talked to our friends about. The subject of how/if we should keep talking came up again and we both agreed for the second time that texting and a regular phone call would suffice for now. I'm really unsure of how to proceed at this point. I've NEVER been in this predicament before in my life. I should not like this guy based on what he looks like on paper. He is from Indy, he is weird, he is from Indianapolis, and he is a hillbilly at heart, not to mention his religion. I can't help the fact that I still like talking to him. I smile every time I get a text message from him. The craziest thing is I have only known him for a little over a week and I feel this way. I guess for now I am going to tread carefully. I don't know what the right decisions in this situation are and I don't think anyone really does. So I am going to keep and open mind, take one day at a time, and just see what happens. Who knows? Maybe the IndyGinger is the reason I was supposed to go to Indianapolis in the first place. Until Next Time....Chau!!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I want to start this post by saying I have SO MUCH to report about. There are so many things going on and I have been completely remiss in trying to make sure that I have been keeping this blog updated. So let me begin with the date I had after Dramatic Churchboy.

The guy that I was really excited to go on a date with let's call him the BlackaRican Politico or BRP. Let me start with a physical description. He is shorter than me probably 5'9" or so, dark skinned, goatee, and big and beefy. He is a Crossfit guy. He also has a pretty fancy job working for a big deal politician in the State of MA. He is older than me (32). He is out and he lives in Boston. He is PERFECT on paper!

Our first date was at Diesel Cafe the day after my date with Dramatic Churchboy. We met at Diesel later that night. I got coffee and he got a drink and a sandwich and we just began talking. We definitely hit it off. We talked about everything! His job, my job, his family, my family, future plans, tv, books, politics...the conversation flowed like BUTTAH! Plus he looked exactly like what I had expected (minus a pair of really pointy shoes).

Before I knew it the staff at Diesel were flashing the lights a sure sign that they want you to get the hell out. We had arrived at around 8 and it was now past 11....we had been talking for 3 hours and I didn't even notice.

Once we were outside I suggested that we maybe go for a little walk around Davis Square. He agreed and before I knew it we were strolling along and continuing our conversation. It was a pretty chilly night and in typical fashion I had not brought a proper coat, so I was a little cold. When I indicated that I should probably get going because of the temperature BRP began asking about our next meeting. I told him that I unfortunately would not be able to go out anytime in the near future because I had to leave town for a conference in Indianapolis. He seemed okay with that but still began asking what I thought an appropriate second date might look like.

I insisted that just about anything would be good and he seemed a little frustrated with me which I took to be a good sign. A sign that he wanted to impress me...which I can definitely appreciate.

When he realized that I was about to walk home he ended up offering me a ride up the street to my apartment. I jumped at the opportunity. I figured if he drove me home I would be able to at least get a kiss in and see just how compatible we were. Arriving in front of my house I turned to him and we began kissing. After 5 minutes we were in full on make-out mode and I didn't really care. It wasn't until a car behind us put on its high beams that I realized we were blocking my neighbors entrance to their driveway.

I wasn't ready to stop the kissing so I advised a quick drive up the street. We ended up in a little parking lot that overlooks one of the local university fields. It was here where the make-out session got pretty hot and heavy. I attempted to control myself, but sometimes I just get these urges, especially when I haven't been on a date with a normal attractive guy in a while. So there I was in a parked car outside of a football field with the windows fogged up rounding third.

His dick was a good size. Not necessarily super long, but girthy, just like him. He had a nice set of balls, but the best part of this guy was definitely his muscles. His arms, thighs, and chest are just HUGE! Definitely one of those guys who "Picks Things Up and Puts Things Down."

A couple hours later, when I couldn't feel my toes, I realized that it was a couple hours later. I had been fooling around with BRP in his car for some time and he still hadn't finished. I figured it was about time to call it a draw. I felt bad that I wasn't able to finish the job, but BRP insisted that it wasn't anything I was doing, it was the temperature of the car. I guess that made sense, but I couldn't help feeling a little bit bad about the whole thing.

He then started the car and began the drive back to the front of my apartment. With a final passionate kiss goodnight I headed to my bedroom elated that I had finally found someone who could maybe make my dream of being a politician's do-gooder gay husband a reality.

The date was great, the conversation was super friendly, and the connection physically was definitely real. I couldn't wait to get back from Indianapolis to see him again.

I got a text message a few days later, two prior to my trip, asking if maybe I could entertain a night time cuddler. I hesitated because I didn't want to let on how much I like BRP so far. I figured if I made him wait until I got back from my trip I would have a better handle on my feelings and would be able to sort them out, but I had a glass of wine or two in me and really just wanted to see him again.

BRP came over and all of my roommates headed to bed before he even made it in the house. I proceeded to give a tour of the apartment, saving my room for last. When we entered my room we immediately began making out. I think he popped a chubby the minute his lips touched mine. He was wearing gym shorts(clearly no underwear), a tight under armor shirt, and a baseball hat. He looked good and I was excited to be warmer this time to see what I could do.

After only a few minutes we were back to the same situation we had been in when we were in his car. Both of us were excited and having a good time. Half an hour later we stopped going at it and began actually talking. Neither one of us had cum yet but it was nice just to be able to have a conversation. Fifteen minutes later I realized two things: 1) His father died the week before our date and 2) His dick was now completely soft.

To me this makes perfect sense. If talking about the death of your father gave you an erection I would say you are probably a good candidate for a Criminal Minds episode....which would definitely disqualify you from being one of my potential dating candidates.

The problem was not that his dick got hard but that I couldn't get it hard again if my life depended on it. I tried every trick I knew. Every swirl, whirl, and twirl my tongue would allow but it remained a piece of Play-Do in my mouth.

Three or four failed attempts to rectify the situation led to him offering to just finish me off. I informed him that would be impossible and once I explained why he understood and decided that it was probably time for him to go since it was 3:30a and he had to be at work for 7a.

As he was getting himself dressed and the idea of getting hard and cumming was finally out of his mind, I dropped to my knees and in 3 minutes got the guy to cum. I don't know what it was, but it was definitely something psychological that was the problem. Clearly the equipment worked it was just whether or not it worked with me.

BRP assured me that I was not the problem and that he didn't think the stress was a problem at all. Then he turned his sights and goals toward getting me off. Within 20 minutes I finally was able to just cum, but I was left with an odd feeling. Deep down something seemed to be wrong. I'm still not really sure what it is but something just seemed off about the chemistry. I guess I will just have to go out with him again after my trip to Indianapolis and really figure out what the problem is exactly or if I am maybe just imagining it.

For the record this is one of two guys I still have to tell you about but its getting late and a lot of things need to happen tomorrow so....

Monday, November 11, 2013

After having 50 posts on this blog and not being any closer to finding my one true love I decided I would not give up, but try even harder. I went out this weekend with one of my friends from home and was determined to go to a bar and at least get a guy's number. We started at the one gay bar in my home town and that was a total bust. I was the youngest person their next to my female friend and it was more a dyke bar than anything else. We headed to the straight bar next because normally getting a guy's number is not really a problem its me doing the follow up work that is the problem and texting them appropriately and planning a good/sober second time to meet. Unfortunately, old habits die hard and I focused on the one guy who, to me was clearly gay. Before I said anything to him though I played the game and made an inquiry to one of the several girls who had accompanied him in as to the state of his sexuality. The quizzical look I got followed by the slightly inebriated fag hag chortle said it all. Clearly he was still in the closet and clearly she knew exactly what I did. Once again the mixed feelings of disappointment, derision, and confusion all washed over me. I turned back to my friend and was ready to head to the other side of the bar to wallow in my melange of feelings when the girl touched my arm. I turned around and unabashedly chuckled at my "error" and she said, "Wait, what's your number?" I must have looked confused because she immediately said, "Well when he comes out I'll give it to him." In my inebriated state I willingly passed along my digits, but honestly I am a little horrified that is what my life has come to, giving my number to a fag hag of a guy that isn't out yet for when he finally grows a set and can tell himself he likes boys. I am not knocking anyone for not being out or for not being ready to be out, but what is wrong with me that I, an openly out gay man, can't pick one other out-person to try and talk to at a bar of straight people. What are you going to do I guess?Today I went on a date with a guy who, from his online profile (yes I am still using this because I know several people who have gotten engaged this way), I knew was probably not going to be a perfect fit. Let's call him Dramatic Church Boy or DCB. DCB is a 21 year old theater and religion major at BU. As a Husky alum that is already strike one but I was willing to overlook that as he told me he was completely out and proud. It seemed strange to me that a out and proud gay man from San Francisco would have such a bond with religion. I don't think it is impossible to be gay and religious, but I do think that a lot of gay men are not particularly into the whole church thing. We ultimately agreed to meet at Boston Common Coffee and grab a coffee between his 1 o'clock class and his 5 o'clock meeting. I always think setting up a first date on a time table like this is a good thing. That way if the date is going particularly terribly you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Likewise if a date is going really well, you prevent yourself from going to far on a first date. Who could be a slut in 4 hours right?Upon meeting DCB I was a little put off as he was not exactly what his pictures promised. He is white, a little shorter than me, a little heavier than me, and had a haircut that made him look like Lena Dunham circa that picture in the link. He was a little disappointing to say the least, but I hate to judge a book by its cover so we kept on walking toward the coffee place.On the way to the coffee place a few things became apparent. One: This guy actually talks louder than I do. Two: Buckle in you're about to learn a lot about DCB and Three: Oh Dear God....his pants are cuffed around the ankles at different and inappropriate heights on each leg. I quickly dismissed one as being a normally loud talker myself I couldn't possibly hold that against someone. Two I figured wouldn't be that bad. I mean someone who is a theater and religions major can't be boring. But three....I know this is incredibly shallow....I also know I am going to go to hell for thinking this given my own feelings about personal appearance but, what the hell is wrong with you that you didn't see and fix that when you looked in the mirror.The date dragged on and he continued to talk. He occasionally asked me things about myself, but mostly only when he thought they would relate back to him or a story he could tell. He asked about my job and then asked if I had ever told anyone they were HIV + and then he told me there was a play in that somewhere. Eventually, I got to ask my obligatory first date question, So tell me something interesting about yourself? He told me without thinking his majors, which I refused to take as an answer. And after some cajoling he stated, "I really love public transportation. Like every time I feel the train go by underneath us I get a little excited."You can't knock a kid for trying right? I mean, that fact is probably the most interesting dull fact I have ever heard. It makes you seem at least a little weird and prompts me to think about why one may feel that way about public transportation. We started walking around Boston Common. He realized that I had done a co-op in Latin America and quickly began speaking to me in the most horrible English accented Spanish I have heard. I responded back as I thought that might be polite. After carrying on the conversation for 10 minutes though and listening to him butcher the beautiful vowels and the sexy r's I just had to revert back to English where his tongue was much better suited.

At some point after 2 hours I threw out the line, "Don't you have to be going soon", quickly followed by "I am going to be meeting someone at Northeastern." I figured this was a big old hit. This was the cartoon grand piano falling through the roof and landing on one of the main animated characters, but no....I was wrong. He clearly was not picking up on the hint and volunteered to not only walk me back to Copley but to accompany me to Northeastern if I wanted. I assured him I would be good from Copley and he decided it would be better for him to take Comm Ave anyways. When the date was finally over there was the awkward moment when we were parting ways. We both looked at each other unsure of what the appropriate gestures were. I took the lead and leaned in for a hug. I mean I greeted him with a hug and its not like he said he killed babies or anything. The words that came out next were almost disheartening. I could tell he was waiting for me to say, "I'll call you." Or "Text me sometime to do this again." but I didn't want to lead him on at all. I could see the writing on the wall from the first five minutes into the date and I don't see any reason why I should have continued the charade passed one date.Maybe that is what will be different in my next 50 posts. I'm giving up on the bullshit. If things aren't working I am just moving on until I find something that does work, or something that is worth me giving up my time to fix.I actually have another date planned for tomorrow night, but I would rather not jinx it...so you will just have to wait to see what happens. I have hopes for this one though so cross whatever digits you can.I guess until next time...Chau!!