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In last month’s column, you were reminded to appreciate the reality of the situation as the foundation for what you would like to change in the future. But the real secret of life is feeling contentment in all that is going right in your life. Now that can be very difficult to do when we live in such an outcome …

We all handle crises different. Women have a tendency to choose how they will face difficult times. My belief is that you are far more successful if you handle a situation and look for the breakthroughs. Unfortunately when bad things happen, it can be difficult to determine how a crisis might work in your favor. However if you adopt the …

My grandmother has a saying that has altered the way I think. She repeated it frequently and ended all of her letters with it. She would state, “Let nothing disturb the harmony of your thoughts.” This was a gentle reminder that we own our own thoughts and beliefs and we can choose how they are affected. Your feelings, beliefs, and …

I recently sat with a couple who were discussing their most recent fight. The husband reported that whenever he and his wife disagreed, she would “beat him up verbally.” He explained that in her attempts to get him to understand her frustration she would do three things: she would put him down by trying to convince him that her reasoning …

I love to be busy and creative. I am the kind of woman who loves to schedule myself with as much activity as I can possibly fit in….I don’t even like to sleep because I am afraid that I will miss something! My motto is to work hard and play hard which reminds me that my life is full. Now …

People come to therapy with the request for help with their self-esteem. Simply put, they say they don’t have enough self-esteem and they want more self-confidence. They describe themselves as having lots of inadequacies and insecurities. Focus on the positives. We all have strengths and weaknesses. It’s your choice whether you focus on your capabilities or your deficits. A person …

Jealousy can be toxic to a relationship. I meet with many clients who regularly fight this demon. If you experience extreme jealousy it will require professional attention. I recently met with a very insecure middle-aged woman who wanted help for her jealous tendencies. Her boyfriend, who “treated her like gold”, was beginning to tire of her constant badgering when he …

I am frequently asked what type of work I find to be the toughest. Since I am blessed to be both a psychotherapist and a personal life coach (PLC), I have no problem answering that question. Undoubtedly, personal life coaching is the easiest and marital counseling is the toughest. When a person seeks out a PLC they are typically motivated …

Is there something that you want to change in your life, yet you continue to hedge back and forth, wondering if you’re strong enough to make that needed lifestyle change? If you are ambivalent and not truly committed to changing your life, don’t waste your time or energy stuck in your own ambivalence. The odds are definitely against you. Most …

It is normal to struggle with the painful feelings that life evokes. Feelings are normal, natural and necessary byproducts of living a life full of experience. There are five primary feelings–anger, sadness, happiness, loneliness and fear. All are other feelings fall under the umbrella of these very important ones. Today’s column is devoted to sadness. Sadness can be uncomfortable. When …