Q&A: Lovers card in the Past Position in a card spread

Q: What does the Lovers in the past position mean? Does this mean the relationship is over?

A: Relationship readings are the most difficult to do to my way of thinking, because you are almost always missing half the picture. In my experience, it is a rare, beautiful and loving gift when another person lends their energy to a reading without direct knowledge and consent. That kind of soul-level or ethereal consent and participation really is an honor when it happens. And, honestly, I don’t sense any of it here. So that puts this back to the usual level of reading…meaning it only reflects your part in this, and you have to deal with your love-interest’s part in this the old fashioned way…talking to them.

That being said, I suspect the answer to your question is essentially “no.”

First of all, keep in mind the Lovers card speaks more to “hearts desire”, lust and want kind of energies more than relationship, love, intimacy with another soul kinds of energies. So no, The Lovers in the past position isn’t an automatic bad omen for an existing relationship.

Also, I always approach readings as a way of understanding…not strictly timeline. The past doesn’t mean “the past” any more than the future card predicts the future. In my experience, both cards are more powerful when they are used to build a more gestalt, big-picture understanding of NOW, and to guide how we move forward from now to create a better path. Make sense? Those cards add dimension, yes, but not make absolute pronouncements.

So what does Lovers in the past position tell us? I always approach the past card from the perspective of learning from old mistakes and successes.

To understand even more, it would help to know what kind of question you brought to the reading as a whole. Did you intend to read about the relationship primarily, another question, or more general life guidance? It could very well be that the Lovers card doesn’t have anything to do with the relationship at all. Look at the reading again….are there any hints at life’s purpose of life-long desires that have been left behind?

If you were looking at the relationship specifically, how have things gone so far? What about the relationship has gone well? What about the relationship has you worried? What have you done right that you should keep doing? What mistakes have been made? Are there any places to make amends or make changes? Do you desire the relationship to move into the past? Or do you fear it…and this is a reminder not to repeat past mistakes and call that fear (and it’s old lessons) to you yet again?

When you take all of that into consideration, does the Lovers card in the past position automatically doom your relationship? – no. Can it give you insights into the relationship? – sure, but it would help to be more clear in your mind whether the card is even talking about the relationship, or if it is guiding you about some other deep seated heart’s desire?

Here is something that might help. Pull the Lovers and the Two of Cups cards from the deck and put them on the table in front of you, side by side. It doesn’t matter which card is on which side. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and relax. Take a few deep breaths, and think about the relationship. Slowly open your eyes and look at the two cards. Which one catches your eye first? Which one draws you in and tugs at your heartstrings as you think about the relationship?

If it is the 2 of cups, that might be a reassurance about the relationship and your clue to look at the Lovers in the first reading in terms of other life wants, desires, goals. If you are most strongly drawn to the Lovers card while thinking of the relationship like this…then you might do well to think of the relationship in terms of desire: Is this a relationship you still want? Is is workable? Do you love them? Do they love you? What do they want? Many, many questions could apply. If that is the case, and you feel yourself spiraling into a vortex of uncertainty…set the cards and the questions aside. After some time – minutes, hours, days, whatever feels right – when you are feeling clearer, then do a fresh reading that is just about the relationship. The Lovers may or may not re-appear. Whether the card is in the new spread or not, my guess is it will be a clearer message for you now that you know which direction the original Lovers was pointing you to go.

Good luck!

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