"Dave's World" on CBS at 8:30pm ET. Ugh, I don't know you guys, I like the occasional Dave Barry column as much as anyone but this show kind of sucks. That one guy is pretty good though, Patrick Warburton? I know he's popped up on "Seinfeld" a couple times so I hope he sticks around even after this stinker goes belly up. If nothing else, he's got a great voice.

"Ellen" on ABC at 9:00pm ET. OK, so we all know this is the only thing anyone's planning to watch tonight, right? After all the magazine covers and talk shows and everything, I don't think anyone has any other choice. Really, though, if we all know what's going to happen, why is it important to watch? What difference will it make tomorrow? "Oh my god, did you see 'Ellen' last night? She came out?!?" Like, duh, we know, they've been telling us she would for like a month now. But, still, I guess it's good from a cultural perspective. Sucks that J.C Penney dropped their advertising from the episode, though. You'd think they'd WANT to take advantage of all the extra attention this episode's getting.

"Star Trek: Voyager" on UPN at 9:00pm ET.

"Law and Order" on NBC at 10:00pm ET. I can't believe this show's been on for seven years. Who knew that watching the boring, behind the scenes stuff prosecutors do would be so popular? How long do you think this show will last? It can't have more than another two or three seasons in it, realistically. There's only so many different ways to be like "This guy is totally guilty/innocent. How do we prove that?"