Two Mama's, one Brat, and Porthos and Aramis but not D'artagnan. In NYC and dreaming all the while.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

I think I know what's wrong with me..

I am such a pansy. Woke up a couple of hours ago and thought, well... today really is the day that I have nothing to blog about. Didn't cook anything, haven't done anything... nothing to post about.

So I settled for reading other peoples blogs. Frugality has been high on the mind since it's the end of the month. Settled up my January finances yesterday, and am planning on a bank trip today. Lucky for me, I've been on a roll, finding tons of blog content with inspirational tips and ideas for saving money in tons of ways.

Why that put me in mind of a spell my Bloggy Godmother tweeted about... I have no clue. My brain is a strange strange place.

A couple of months ago I intended to join some witch-y discussions that were being hosted by Aine @ The Deepest Well. I flaked. Now I'm actually really sorry that I didn't stick around for them. I might have been able to figure this out much sooner.

I asked Aine about spellwork and what actually constitutes a spell. From my research, I've noted that it usually involves a fair bit of writing. Spells and the rituals that often accompany them are highly personal and tailor-fit kind of things. You're the one with the purpose, you're the one doing the work, so most if not all of it is up to you.

Yes, there's the pre-written stuff, but having never used it I can't really comment on how that works.

My own personal problem with spellwork has been the words. I am utterly incapable of incantations. They have never ever felt right to me, not even when I'm the one writing them. Hence, I asked Miss Aine if spell-work could be done like an Anne of Green Gables prayer.

For those of you ( HA! As if anyone is reading.) who haven't seen the movies, Anne is an orphan who isn't big on prayer, and doesn't know how to do it. She tells the woman teaching her " If I wanted to pray, I would just go out into a field and FEEL a prayer."

The quote is not verbatim, and yes she's very over-dramatic, but that is in a nutshell how I've felt about spellwork. Mind you, I just have no clue if it would work. Hence my turning to Aine, my bloggy godmother.

Of course, half the problem has been not knowing what the problem is. I have no idea why spell words and I clash. I do have a theory all of a sudden.

I speak English. Actually, I speak so much English these days that I'm forgetting my Spanish. However.... I think in Spanish. I think in Spanish and speak in English. Punky always says she feels sorry for me, because it sounds difficult. It's actually about as difficult as breathing. I don't think about it, that's just how my brain works.

Spanish was my first language. I spoke it, read it and wrote it long before I ever stepped into an american public school.

So there we are. Maybe the hang-up is in trying to do something so primal while patching it all through a radio translator known as my brain.