And it’s a question that often circulate in my mind. So often I have an aching and yearning, I know not of what. Just for something more than what my life looks like now. But how are you supposed to mend that aching, urging, craving, without knowing the cure?

How is it that human beings always want their life to be extraordinary? To have meant something? Because I’m right to think that most human beings want that? Or is it just me that want that? I want my life to have meant something to other human beings. To our planet. To the future.

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my lifeI was a bride married to amazement.I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don’t want to wonderif I have made of my life something particular, and real.I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” ― Mary Oliver

Can’t believe that almost a month has gone by since my last post. And why is it harder to write something the longer the time it takes? It somehow feels like a failure and I can’t for the life of me understand why we put such ridiculous pressure on ourselves. For things that honestly have no importance whatsoever.

Do you do that too? It doesn’t have to be regarding your writing but anything really.

I guess I’m saying STOP to myself. It may be that I write ten posts in a day or nothing for 4 months but will be my choice.

Do you ever feel like screaming out loud? Just because life is what it is? And you feel that you can hardly breathe?

And you want to get out of this meaningless existence but don’t have a clue how? And when even anti-anxiety pills don’t help on these days.. what do you do?

How can one find meaning in one’s life? If you don’t have any particular passions, then what’s left? Only emptiness? And is meant to go on like this? How can one avoid asking oneself what’s the point? Why go on?

How do you guys find joy in your life? And how often does that happen?

All ranging between what is the meaning of life to I wonder how many steps there are between my bedroom and the bathroom. Well, because, let me tell you, I may be quiet on the outside but there’s a storm going on inside.

So why not write some of it down? To declutter my head. And maybe to see what other people think of the things I think about.

Although, I’m pretty sure no one will even find this place so my ramblings will just be put out there, in the ether.