#haunted

Holy crap guys! Before I get into the post, I want to say thank you so so so much for all of the support you have been giving to me. Your comments really do mean a lot to me. I never expected to have close to 5,000 people following me. It’s absolutely insane!

Anyway, the doctor’s visit… yeah… it sure was interesting. I’m not sure if I’m feeling 100% better after last night, but I think I managed to get some answers on what the hell is going on with me.

So I walked into his office, which is within a larger medical building that is interconnected with one of the local hospitals, Cunningway Hospital to be exact. It had weird vibes to it, but I think part of it had to do with me being so nervous! I asked Jeff and Danielle to come in with me so they could give some insight to the doctor on what I have been acting like when I sleep. I had to show up about 30 minutes early so I could fill out some paperwork. The office itself was very nice. It had light mocha colored walls, red and dark brown furniture, a couple fish tanks on each side of the waiting room, a light brown hardwood floor with a large round rug over the top of it, and soft classic music playing in the background. The front desk was at the middle of the room with one brown haired, blue eyed girl sitting at the desk. She was quite friendly! I could see other receptionists and nurses walking around the room, printing stuff, going through papers, working on computers, you know, basic doctor office stuff.

“Hello Alex! How are you doing today?” A tall, svelt, older gentleman walked through the door and waved hello to me. He had salt and pepper hair, a green dress shirt, black shoes, and tie, deep blue eyes and lightly tanned skin.

“I’m doing okay I guess.”

“Hm. Just okay?” I nodded then looked down at my feet. “My name is Doctor Shirley, but you can call me Steve.” He smiled sweetly and stuck out his hand to shake it. He had a firm, but not too harsh of a handshake. “So I hear that you have been getting some pretty nasty nightmares, is that right?”

“Yes.” I felt so nervous, I wanted to throw up. My stomach was churning and my hands were cold and clammy. I looked down at my feet a lot. ‘Thank god they’re not covered in mud’ I thought to myself.

“There’s nothing for you to be nervous about Alex! I’m a pretty harmless guy. I have worked with teens and young adults for over 35 years. I promise that there is nothing to worry about. Now, who are these two who have joined you today? Are they your friends?”

“Yes they are. This is Danielle and Jeff.” Both of them stuck out their hands and shook the doctor’s hand. “They’re just here for moral support, I guess you can say.”

“Have they signed our medical consent forms yet?”

“Yes they have.”

“Good good! Anyway, I have a few basic questions that I need you to answer for me. These are primarily ‘yes’ and ‘no’ questions. I just need to gather a little bit more information about you before we can move forward. Is that okay?”

“Oh yeah that’s fine with me.” The nervousness started to fade just a teeny tiny bit. I found that I was starting to regain a sense of control.

“Alrighty then, let’s begin!” The doctor took out a clipboard and a black pen which had a white feather glued on it. I thought it was quite clever. Going through all of these questions just tired me out. Don’t ask me why, they just did.

“It definitely sounds like you had a bit of a troubling past, is that right?”

“Yeah… I have. During all the crap that happened back then, I really felt like as though there was a point in time where my family wanted nothing to do with me. Though during those hard times I had the support of my two best buds. I don’t know where I would be without them.”

“Have you had any counseling in the past Alex?”

“Yes of course.”

“Is it okay for me to refer you to a local MFT?”

“Yeah, sure. Any help that you can give would be great.”

“Alrighty then! I will be referring you to a Dr. Creed. He is one of my trusted colleagues and a friend of the family since I was little.” My stomach dropped to the floor as soon as that name came up. My hands began to sweat again and I could feel myself get shaky. Doctor Creed… Creed was one of the names that ghost Pascow mentioned… Goddammit Alex get yourself together! It’s just a coincidence.

“At the end of the day Alex, it is your health that matters the most. Don’t let your past get in the way of what you want to do in the future. You are a very young, healthy, and intelligent young man with a positive future ahead of you. I can promise you that you will get through this and I will do everything in my power to help you.”

“Thank you so much for your help today Dr- I mean Steve.”

“Now Alex, I would like to meet up with you soon just to make sure that everything is going okay. Would week after next be okay with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Your friends can come too if you want.”

“I think I’m going to be going alone this time, no offense guys.” I felt bad for saying no to Danielle and Jeff. We have all been in the same classes, if not at least in one of our classes together throughout our whole lives. We were together almost all the time and were there for one another no matter what was going on. Like for example, when Danielle’s dad was in the hospital due to a heart attack during high school, we dropped everything we were during and were there for Danielle until her dad got out of the hospital.

“Nah, you’re good man. We totally understand.” Jeff gave a thumbs up and Danielle nodded in agreement. I gave out a sigh of relief knowing that I didn’t hurt their feelings.

“In the meantime Alex I want you to continue to take your medications normally. The only thing I would suggest for now before we visit again is to start to use more holisitcal approaches to your nightmares. Things such as Essential Oil diffusers, playing white noise in the background, ASMR, and other forms of stress releiving tactics could really be of use. I also advise for you to back off of caffeine as much as you can.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Some of the things he brought up were things that I have never heard of or even tried. It was worth a shot!

“Alrighty then! I’ll have you take these papers up to the front desk and they will help you set up another appointment soon. I will see you in about two weeks.”

“Thank you! I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

I walked out the door, did my thing at the front desk, and all three of us headed out. As I walked out the front door of the doctor’s office, I took a deep breath, inhaling the cool autumn breeze, and exhaled slowly.

“How are you feeling Alex?” Jeff asked.

“Much better actually! I really like this doctor. Maybe even more than Dr. Daniels.”

“I’m not sure man, he seemed kinda off to me.” Danielle said. Both Jeff and I looked back at her in shock.

“What makes you say that Dani?” I was really taken aback by this. Danielle seldom talked about people like this. The only time she did was when something was really off. She’s really good at picking up on stuff like that.

“It’s just a feeling I guess. But, if he’s a good help to you Alex, then I have no right to say that.”

After the doctor’s visit, Jeff, Danielle, and I went out to a local cafe instead of Starbucks. It was called Vanilla Bean. It was a very sick cafe that was open from 8 am to 10 pm. It sat alongside the river and was about 15 minutes away from our house and around 20 minutes away from school. They served breakfast, lunch, and dinner at all times of the day. They were like an upscale version of Denny’s or Ihop. It was a hotspot for college students in the area for sure. We had coffee, brunch, and a whole lot of english rolls. They have the BEST rolls in the world.

The rest of the day went pretty well. No weird voices, no hallucinations, absolutely nothing! I took my medications normally and started doing what the doctor suggested for me to do. I got the diffuser and stuff from work after going to the Vanilla Bean. I set up my room with everything I needed and it was awesome. What was even better was that the nightmares stopped for a couple weeks. I was finally able to get some solid sleep and I didn’t feel so worn out during the day anymore. Every once in awhile I would see a fuzzy image of a wooden cross in a patch of crabgrass, but then the imagery would fade off into what I would consider to be a normal dream.

Except for last night. It was more than just a nightmare. This was a new reality for us all and there is no way out. The wooden cross, the rows of dead people, and even Pascow appeared once again, and I was fully awake.

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