The best of Business Class

I'VE been washed out in Washington, cactus in Kabul and haggard at Heathrow.

Any city I've been to, if I've flown overnight to get there I've arrived looking like a well-used dishrag and feeling like death warmed up.

I can't sleep on aeroplanes. While everyone else is dozing in the dark, I'm pacing up and down at the back of the plane, stretching my legs and frequently staring out the window at the frozen wastes of Siberia or wherever.

So how did I feel after a 26-hour flight from Sydney to Helsinki?

Pretty good.

That's what I got for flying Business Class.

Admittedly I still got jetlagged, but I didn't get sleep-deprived as well.

The almost flat reclining seats allowed me to sleep peacefully for the first time in my life in the air.

But you get a lot more than that in Business Class.

For those of you still dreaming about luxury travel, here's a quick guide to life at the front of the plane.

Star treatment at the airport

The star treatment begins the minute you arrive at the airport. You are not obliged to stand in line at the check-in, behind one or two hundred people who live closer to the airport or got out of bed a few hours before you did. You get your own special desk for business class passengers. If you're unlucky, you may have to stand in line behind one other person.

At Sydney Airport you don't even wait for immigration controls with hoi polloi, you go straight through an express channel.

Then, at any major airport, you don't wait on plastic seats for your flight to be called. You proceed to the special Business Class lounge, where there are comfortable chairs, air conditioning, snacks and drinks. Alcoholic drinks if you like, just help yourself to beer, wine, champagne or spirits.

The generosity in the drinks department does vary, in my brief experience. The Bangkok lounge I was in doesn't supply alcohol, but makes up for it by having showers available for weary travellers waiting for connecting flights.

Wined and dined

Pampering stops for a while after you board the plane. Business Class passengers still have to stow their hand luggage in the overhead lockers, put their seats upright and listen to the safety messages like everyone else.

Once the plane is airborne it's a different story. Food service normally begins straightaway. Look forward to a four-course meal if your flight is in daylight or early evening, something lighter if it's late at night.

"And would you like a drink before you meal, sir? French champagne, perhaps?"

"Just a Campari, thanks, and I'll have the dry white wine with my meal."

"Certainly, sir."

Try as they might, however, there's no way any airline can make hot food taste like gourmet fare. Pre-cooked and re-heated just isn't the same as freshly prepared. But they almost make up for it in the quality of cold appetisers, entrees and desserts.

And if the smoked duck lacks a little piquancy, who am I to complain, when someone else is paying for it?

At this point I should explain that I flew to and from Helsinki (via Bangkok and Copenhagen) as a guest of the Royal Caribbean cruise company on a trip to see their latest ship, flying Thai and SAS both ways.

On board luxury

After the meal it's time to stretch out and relax. Maybe settle straight down to sleep, maybe take in a movie first. And of course the screens are larger in Business Class.

The seats are wider too, so a man of above average height can tuck his feet up under him if he likes (after taking his shoes off, of course).

For a wriggler like me, who never sits in the same position for more than 10 minutes, it's bliss. When I do settle down to sleep (real sleep, with dreams) I can curl and turn and stretch as much as I like.

When business passengers wake up, there's no long queue for the toilet and they can take their time with the toothpaste, beauty products and lip balm that come in a handy little bag on every flight.

Then there's tea, coffee and orange juice to refresh the palate, followed in due course by a full breakfast.

Arriving at their destination, Business Class passengers are of course allowed to leave the plane first. No waiting while 300 other people in Economy gather up their hand luggage and shuffle slowly up the aisles.

Business passengers' luggage usually comes off the plane first as well, arriving earlier at the carousel and allowing them to get ahead of everyone else in the queue for taxis.

Unless of course they've ordered a limo. By phone, using the handset next to their seat on the plane.

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