FEARtastic Vault O’ FUN #32

I like to use Geek like I would any other skill (strength, intelligence, pie-throwing, etc.). I genuinely feel that energy of being obsessive, excited and passionate all at the same time can bode well for many number of things besides the obvious channels. When the time is right and more importantly, advantageous, I unleash the geek within and something positive/progressive usually happens...well, there also might be some confused looks but I'm pretty sure laughter is achieved most of the time. Thanks for reading folks, Seek out, Speak out, Laugh out loud!

One of the best/worst/best things about being a horror movie aficionado such as myself is taking a second look at arbitrary, every day things in a creepy and unsettling way. The power of movies in general has the amazing ability to recount and relate; it’s almost an automatic function that allows you to enjoy a scene and immediately relate it to your own life. Think about it; how many times have you watched a flick and immediately announcing which of your friends is which characters? You remembered a scene and thought, “hey that’s SO *insert friend’s name here*!” and then proceeded to list out the rest of the characters so no friend is left behind. It’s the same concept for horror flicks but replace friend with arbitrary object/environment and name with the terrifying scene that you had just witnessed. For example; “Hey, that’s SO the wooden Indian from Creepshow 2 that killed a bunch of people!” (And now for the shameless plug for previous article, Creepshow 2).

Horror movies have ruined so many things for so many different folks that show such range. From the definitive ruining of clowns (IT…another article plug) to something as simple as an oil slick floating innocently in a body of water (Creepshow 2 again!). The level of how much something is ruined for people is in varying degrees. For this FEARtastic Vault keeper, I find it creepy yet fun. Every time I walk by my local cigar store, there’s a wooden Indian that is very similar to the aforementioned killer Indian, that I enjoyed watching as a child in a terrifying manner. It was famously rumored that people were genuinely scared of their toilets after watching Jaws, fearing a monster shark would bite them, mid – poop, which is very telling how even the illogical can still generate such fear when the movie is just right.

For me, Waxwork left a mark in my psyche that sends a shiver down my spine every time I walk by any wax figure. Perhaps it’s because I’ve always found them to be a little creepy as a child and this movie only validated my creepy feelings. What’s brilliant about this flick however is that the terror does not lie within the wax figures; I’m pretty sure most of you FEARtastic fans pretty much pegged this movie as a bunch of wax figures walking around with their dead eyes stalking their victims until they finally get a hold of them and kill in entertaining fashion. Although, not a terrible idea, this movie decided to be much more clever and made the wax statues more of a vehicle for the real terror.

Worst version of Les Mis…EVER.

Nothing weird with wax going on here…

The movie focuses on a group of young folks that get invited to check out a wax museum full of terrifying and gruesome displays. Soon after being greeted by the VERY creepy little person, Hans (played by Mihaly ‘Michu’ Mesazors who also gave me the creeps) introduces them to the various terrifying and gruesome wax displays, individuals begin to be transported to the terrifying scenes of the wax displays as soon as they cross the ropes to the displays! One of the characters steps over to the werewolf display and finds themselves running away from a real werewolf and the same can be said with the vampires, mummies, Frankenstein’s monster, Phantom of the Opera, etc. So in short, it’s not enough that the wax figures themselves were already deemed creepy as hell but they also have the power to suck you into their world so they may finish you off in bloody fashion! Oh, did I mention? As soon as you perish, you FOREVER become part of the display as a wax figure. Imagine watching this flick as a child then proceeding to check out the famous Wax Museum in your area FULL of displays that depict a certain scene.

Creepy enough to make the cover and NOT be a wax figure!

Still a better werewolf than that monkey thing from Buffy!

Frrrriiiieeeend?

You know? Not a bad way to go, maybe it’s just me.

I remember walking around to each display thinking what I would do if I suddenly found myself in the exact scene as the display. Although some were funny (i.e. the last supper display) some were also terrifying! In fact, I remember specifically that they had a whole section to horror movies which at first seems like a great thing for me …until I remember that these figures could suck me into their world. Imagine me standing in the middle of Camp Crystal Lake or Elm Street?!?! Sure, fun to watch, but participate? NO THANKS!

This movie was a cult favorite that even drummed up a sequel that even took the concept from the first flick and made it even MORE bizarre (perhaps an addition to the FEARtastic Vault?)! Do yourself a fun favor and check out this flick and immediately YELP your nearest wax museum! It’ll be a fun couple hours of you strategizing what you would do if their frozen state became your reality! ENJOY and you’re welcome!

Vampires! Werewolves! Monsters! ….and Phantom…yes.

Life is FAR more interesting when we take interest in things that scare us.