6 definitions
by
jerry james

oh where to begin...picture this: a hot, humid day...you're workin up a nice, sticky sweat for hours and hours without a break. you go to bend over or sit and ever so gently you feel this pricking tug between your swampy moist butt cheeks. you wonder what could it be? a tick? a mosquito? but deep down you know, you know exactly what it is. when you woke at the crack of dawn and did your number in the bathroom, you wiped too hard, using too much toilet paper. This left pills in your sliver which when combined with a hot summer's day and sweat creates a cobweb crack that pulls and pinches with sudden movements. yes folks, ouch is right. but remember, now that you know you can prevent this from happening. a washcloth and water are useful tools after #2's. HELPFUL HINT: a quick swipe with your finger can snap the web...BEWARE: finger might reek of old poop and farts.i forgot to mention its the toilet paper that gets stuck to your butt hairs and pulls to create the pain.

"Ouch, man I just felt a massive prick." "Who you callin prick, Johnny?" "No man, in my butt crack." "Oh come on, not a again, you got cobweb crack again today?" "My alarm clock didn't go off again and you're always early" "I guess you better do the manual snap" "Just don't complain when you get a wiff at lunch when I'm sharin my chips with ya."

to collect a pool of any shade of brown in underwear, long johns, pants or it is great to gather in tight sweat pants. It is usually consisting of loose stools, but I guess could be old menstrual clots as well.

"Mom? I'm dripping brown again!" "I'll be right there as fast as UPS would be!" "Well, mom, to answer their question on that commercial, I AM brown enough!" "Oh, Son, let me wipe now!"

usually when your female lady friend with big jugs is cold and you need some extra protein on your plate of spaghet if you know what i mean...yum yum it's just want the farmer ordered for a cool winters night.

it is when you are about to fart and you say to someone "knock knock" and they say "who's there?" and you say, "Bruce." and they say, "Bruce who?" and you say, "Bruce Wetness" and then let it go and fart...this joke only works if it is a wet fart. Then you say, "Get it? Bruce Wetness like Bruce Willis" CAUTION: prepare to need new underwear after this joke is administered.

"oh no I need to borrow your underwear because I just had a meeting with Bruce Wetness...he's a great actor"