Trust Issues - Too Much Pressure

Asked Feb 14, 2012, 11:43 AM
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4 Answers

My girlfriend has trust issues and feels as though she has been betrayed by everyone in her life except me. In fact, she loves me more than anything, so much so that if we were to ever break up she said she would drop out of college. She says I am her only reason for being. This puts a lot of pressure on me. She has very few friends whereas I have many, this leaves me spending all of my time on her. I have tried to encourage her to join groups on campus but she is apathetic.

She is now in a fight with her one and only friend besides me. If she loses this friend, I will be the only one left for her to spend time with. The reason they are fighting is because my fraternity chooses "chapter sweethearts" and her friend was chosen above herself. She sees this as a betrayal by all the brothers who voted over it and by her friend for accepting the position. My girlfriend introduced this girl to the fraternity, and many brothers told her that she would be the "sweetheart." This is nothing but a title and a picture on a wall, but my girlfriend has inflated it to ridiculous importance and is destroying the friendship over it.

I have tried to support my girlfriend, while also trying to rekindle her friendship, but she refuses to forgive her friend. Complicating the matter is the fact that they are roommates and this girl is a girlfriend of one of the guys in the fraternity. They will not be able to avoid encountering each other. I cannot break up with my girlfriend not only because she might lose her mind, but also because she is the most vindictive person I know. She will hold a grudge against me for eternity, and on such a small campus, I would have to deal with her at the very least weekly. I love her but I see no options. How can I get her to forgive her friend? What can I do to relieve this pressure?

Tell her to stop being a selfish, insecure, control freak, or you will walk! Then be ready to do it. A relationship based on fear, insecurity, threats and a lot of selfish bad behavior, is not going to last any way.

Same female in your other thread? If not you sure love insecure psychos!

Her issue with her friend is for her to worry about. However, if you don't want to be with her, just break up with her. No one should be with someone for any other reason than them WANTING to be in the relationship.

She needs professional help, but yes, you have to tell her to grow up and stop thinking everything is about her. You need to live your life giving her that part you want to. This relationship will not last unless you just treat her like an adult and demand to be treated the same

None of this seems fair to you does it? Things will either get better or get worse. Right now, I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Forgiving her friend is only the start, the problem is her personality. She doesn't seem very approachable or easy going. She seems very controlling and angry at the world type of the attitude.

Professional help is only the beginning of what she needs. I know you want to be the good guy and stick this out, but if she doesn't improve her personality at some point, then you're going to have to break up anyway.

Dragging things out is just as bad as breaking up. At least if you break up, she will need to find herself, without you always being there as backup. But if you're always there as her backup, then she will always depend on you and won't ever learn to stand on her own two feet.

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