Hal Rubenstein is used to chatting up top designers and celebrities in his role as fashion director of InStyle magazine.

But at Neiman Marcus Tuesday night in Denver, he offered a personalized approach to fashion to a mostly female audience sipping champagne and nibbling on canapes.

“Belts are your friend,” he said in a session that was as full of confidence-boosters as it was wardrobe tips.”Find a great dress that isn’t black.”

It was appropriate that the fashions on the runway on the second floor atrium at the store were by Donna Karan. “I’ve known Donna Karan for two decades,” he said. “I love her as a person and respect her as a designer.”

Karan’s strengths are that she loves powerful women and understands what they need in their wardrobes, he said. Among her signatures are fabrics that stretch and move with the body, silhouettes that are cut on unexpected but flattering lines — such as diagonals — and styles that are good for season after season.

Among the key pieces for the fall season are a strong-shouldered suit with a nipped waist; a “perfect” trench coat or one of Karan’s blanket-style wraps; and a fitted dress.

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Donna Karan collection dress.

But more than the season’s top items, the most important thing a woman can have is confidence, he said. If she’s got that as a base and adds some flattering clothes and accessories, she’ll be at the top of her game. Many women have a bad habit of eyeing themselves in the mirror each morning and thinking “what can I conceal, camouflage and cover up,” he said. In contrast, men see their reflection as “just shy of Brad Pitt.”

In a question-and-answer session with the audience and a personal interview, Rubenstein shared more advice. (And don’t be surprised if it shows up in a book — he says he’s working on a third one to add to his author credits. The first – “100 Unforgettable Dresses” came out last year, followed a few months ago by “Gentry Man: A Guide to the Civilized Male.”)

A sampling from the conversations:

How do American women compare to European or Asian women? “Americans are obsessed with youth,” he said.

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Donna Karan bodysuit and skirt.

We don’t spend enough time selecting the right clothes. “We shop on the clock and tell ourselves, ‘I have one hour before I have lunch, or have to pick up the kids.'”

His advice? “Stop rushing, buy less and make it it magnificent,” he said. “Don’t say, ‘What do I have to wear today, say, ‘What do I get to wear today.'”

You can find good clothes at any price. You don’t have to spend $1,500 or $5,000, he said, but buy the best quality you can afford.

Some flattering items that should be in a woman’s wardrobe? “A beautiful tailored jacket, a pencil skirt, a pair of high-heeled boots.”

How to stand out at a party? Leave the LBD at home, he says. “Any holiday party you go to where there’s 75 or more people, half of them will be men in black or dark suits and 30 or 40 women in black dresses. Find a dress in a color you love and you’ll stand out.”

Nancy Sagar, public relations director for Neiman Marcus Denver, said women loved hearing from the fashion expert. “He was very charming and had a good message about women, their bodies and above all, self esteem,” she said. “I think that we can hear this kind of message in lots of ways from many sources but, his credibility with his experience and of course InStyle Magazine gave it just a bit more authority. His delivery was humble and real and down to earth.”

Rubenstein had suggestions for men as well:

“Slim down your clothes.” Get rid of the triple-pleated pants and the too-large jackets.

Dress for weekend dates. Too many guys wear their work clothes on the weekends, or dress too casually instead of dressing purposefully for going-out occasions, he said. “Get a sport shirt, not a dress shirt.” Look at what companies like J.Crew or Ralph Lauren Black Label are doing, he recommended.

Find a tailor. Making sure your clothes fit well goes a long way in improving your appearance, he said. “It’s all about proportion and fit.”