Rail Strike: Is Bob Crow a Tory Secret Agent?

By Iain Martin

There’s a question aimed straight at John Rentoul’s remarkable and long-running series “Questions to Which the Answer is No”. But perhaps John will claim it doesn’t count, on the grounds that it is supposed to be a joke.

Still, considering the hell that Crow is preparing to unleash on Labour’s election campaign, with a national rail strike in the week Brown is expected to go to the Queen and call an election, one does start to wonder if the RMT leader is actually working for CCHQ.

Imagine if Crow had been planted as an undercover agent by the Tories.

Picture the scene. We are inside Tory central office in 1992. Young staffer Robert Sympington-Crow, 22, has been asked in for a chat.

Official: “Ah, Robert. Do come in. Can I offer you anything to drink? Tea, coffee… port? Now, how long have you been with us Robert. And how, as members of your generation are fond of saying, has it been going?”

Robert: “I’ve been here ever since Cambridge, sir. In the Research Department. It’s very exciting, very intellectually rewarding. I’ve been working on health policy with David.”

Official: “David Cameron? Ah, one of our most promising young chaps. Have you worked out, by any chance, what he believes? We’ve all been speculating somewhat.”

Robert (hesitantly): “Er… I think… ummm… now, you’ve rather put me on the spot. I think… I think… I think David’s a conservative, sir.”

Official: “Excellent! Excellent! He’s a conservative. Well that is good news. Now, you Robert, you are obviously a conservative.”

Robert: “Thank you, sir.”

Official (softening his voice and leaning closer across the desk): “But tell me, what are your ambitions Robert?”

Robert: “Well, sir. I must admit I do harbour hopes of becoming an MP when I’m a little older. Penny, my fiance, says I would be very good at it. There is a safe seat near her parents in Sussex that I’ve rather got my eye on. And then, when Mr. Major is in his third term he might make me a cabinet minister and I’ll get tickets to Trooping the Colour. I know it sounds silly, sir.”

Official: “Nonsense, not silly at all. I am sure you would make an excellent MP and in time a really first rate member of the cabinet. But I think we have a much bigger job that needs doing. Robert, how would you like to go on a secret mission to save your party?”

Robert: “Oh yes please, sir. What does it involve?”

Official: “At the moment it looks pretty good for the Tory party. We keep winning elections and Labour are useless. But eventually they will get their act together and put us out of power for a great many years.”

Robert (horrified): “Oh no. You really think so, sir?”

Official: “Yes, we won’t get away with this for ever. Eventually the Conservative party will lose an election. There is a natural cycle when it comes to the affairs of men. We will then be in the wilderness for a period. But when the day finally comes for us to regain power, then we’re going to need some serious help. This is where you come in. Robert, there’s no easy way to say this. But we want you to go deep, deep under cover and to infiltrate a trade union. When the time is right, we want you to unleash a great nationwide strike on the railways, thus wrecking a Labour general election campaign. This is going to mean you leaving behind your friends and your family, embracing an entirely new identity as a trade unionist, learning to adopt a cockney accent at all times. And calling yourself Bob. That’s Bob Crow.”

Robert: “A cockney accent, sir? I’m going to have to ask Penny.”

Official: “Robert, I would forget about Penny. She has been betraying you for more than a year with an American banker who works for Goldman Sachs. You are, as the cockneys say, well shot of ‘er.”

Robert (looking crushed): “An American banker?”

Official: “Come, come, Robert, or rather Bob, stop sniffling. Here are your instructions (hands over a bundle of documents). We’ve included a bus ticket to Tower Hamlets. Take the number 57, and you’ll be met at the other end.”

Robert: “One question, sir. Where I’m going, will there be any decent shooting, and deer-stalking? I’ve become rather a good shot of late.”

Official: “Well… yes. There may be some shooting in Tower Hamlets, but not quite of the kind you’re used to. Look, all the preparations have been made for your return to normal life after the election in question is won. We expect it to be held at some point between 2005 and 2010, not any later than that. We’ve had a word with the chairman of White’s, David’s father. On your return you’ll go straight in the book. We’ve even laid down several cases of first rate claret for you – a 1989 Chateau Montrose. It will be drinking splendidly by 2010. Oh, and you’ll get a seat in the House of Lords.”

Robert: “Wow. That’s rather generous of you, sir. But let’s say for the sake of argument that I do manage successfully to infiltrate and take over this trade union, how will I know when to launch our rail strike?”

Official: “Ah, this is the clever bit. When you see giant posters of David Cameron’s face going up all over the country, that’s your signal. That’s when you get ready to strike.”

Robert: “When I see David’s face? On giant posters?”

Official (getting up and walking Robert to the door): “Yes, it will all make sense at the time. And my, what an exciting time you’re going to have between now and then. I do so wish I was coming with you. Bob, we’ll see you when your mission is accomplished. (Shaking Robert’s hand) Agent Crow, goodbye and good luck.”

Comments (5 of 8)

In the light of the recent smear campaign directed against the London Bus Workers Committee, we think it necessary to enlighten everyone connected to London Bus Network and reveal some basic facts.

Since last year 2009 many London Bus Workers unhappy, fed up, with the dysfunctional Unite union, started joining RMT. Currently Unite has the sole recognition by London Bus Companies.

The movement towards RMT gathered pace and resulted in the formation of the RMT London Bus Workers Committee. This Committee consisted of dedicated activists voluntarily shouldering the responsibility of recruiting new members, and organising in the London bus garages - (nominating representatives, electing North and South London Convenors and so on).

As the numbers joining the RMT grew (and in some cases RMT members became majority in London Bus Garages), a smear campaign towards our Committee and RMT London Bus Workers also began. The Committee eventually decided there was a need for setting up a fully funded branch for the London Bus Workers.

In order to realise this aspiration in February 2010 some members of the Committee visited the RMT General Secretary Mr Bob Crow in the RMT headquarters office.

During the meeting we were told by Mr Crow that the RMT Council of Executives had taken the decision not to organise London Bus Workers. Mr Crow conceded the RMT could not prevent new members joining , but Mr Crow now believed the appropriate union for London Bus Workers was and is Unite!

At the same meeting he clearly stated he would stand by his Council of Executives decision, but also suggested that the RMT London Bus Workers Central Committee should be represented at the RMT AGM where there would be an opportunity to overturn the Committee of Executives decision.

He asserted there was no M25 agreement between RMT and Unite but since both unions are affiliated to the TUC, he was facing suspension that would have paved the way to other unions to seek recognition in RMT recognised companies, and felt it was not in the best interests of the RMT for this to happen, ( i.e. suspension from the TUC.)

The RMT London Bus Workers Committee then agreed to attend the AGM thus complying with Mr Crow’s suggestion.

Also, after a short meeting following the meeting with Mr Crow, the Committee also decided to attend the RMT Bus Workers Consultative Committee meeting, and the National Bus Workers Annual conference, while also seeking additional support from the tube workers at branch level.

The most recent smear Campaign was initiated by a letter by Unite Assistant Secretary Mr Len McLuskey, who in his letter published on Unite notice boards in garages across London, quoted extracts from the Minute Book of the RMT Council of Executives.

In these extracts the RMT Council of Executives. affirmed RMT would not organise London Bus Workers, while also ruling out any attempt to seek recognition from London bus companies.

In the last paragraph of his letter Mr McLuskey wrote “ must understand (that) all RMT members should join or re-join Unite now and all Unite branches should welcome them back” - in our opinion a form of words implicitly threatening.and amounting to harassment.

This letter resulted in a response, also distributed in London garages, from RMT London Bus Workers Committee Chair Steve Blewitt who told Unite how in UK workers have a democratic and legal right to join any union they choose, and to be represented by the same union at any level, be it as an individual or as a group of members.

This response was last week countered by yet another letter sent to London s bus garages by Mr McLuskey, but this time it was not his letter but a copy of a letter of Mr Crow to Mr McLuskey dated March 3rd 2010.

In it Bob Crow accused the RMT London Bus Workers Central Committee’s elected Chair of sabotaging the policy of the RMT Council of Executives. Also in the same letter he dissolved the RMT Bus Workers Committee – or rather said it had never existed!

We would like to ask Mr Crow , if this is the case, that the RMT London Bus Workers Committee has never existed, who did he meet with in his own office in Unity House in February 2010?

The RMT Visitors Book at Unity House will verify the identities of the individual members of the RMT London Bus Workers Central Committee and officer holders who visited Mr Crow on that occasion.

We also point out to Mr Crow that it was he who suggested that the RMT London Bus Workers Committee SHOULD go to the AGM to OVERTURN the Council of Executives decision!

How can he accuse a decent RMT member of sabotaging the Council of Executives policy, when he blatantly sabotages the policy himself?

Is it ethically right to put the blame on an individual, to accuse him of sabotaging the Council of Executives when as a matter of fact this comrade shouldered so much responsibility in a very short space of time, demonstrating overwhelming dedication for the well being of all RMT London Bus Workers.

To top it all the RMT London Bus Workers Committee (allegedly now non existent), its members and elected officers are now BARRED from participation in the Bus Workers Consultative Committee, the National Bus Workers Conference, and the RMT AGM,

The RMT London Bus Workers Committee has the full support of RMT London Branches and members, but Bob Crow disregards the views of his subscription paying members.

While claiming to stand by his Council of Executives policy he has actually tried to sabotage it..

In addition we remind how some of his Council of Executive members have attended our committee meetings, in fact we have comradely photos taken with us at our non existent committee meetings.

Since Unite the union has been running the show in London’s bus garages they have displayed arrogance, a petit bourgoise mentality and actively aid the bus companies to coerce and harass workers, by e.g. by forcing them to drive unroadworthy and defective vehicles. In most garages Unite operates merely as an arm of management.

To increase company profitability London’s Bus Workers are forced to work in unrenovated garages in uncivilised conditions but most of them are scared of losing their jobs as they know that Unite branch secretaries and reps are generally useless in representing them at disciplinary hearings.

The top echelon of Unite has absolutely no control over most of their branches, and branch officials.

In some cases branches can’t even produce their accounts (e.g. at First Capital Northumberland Park garage).

Many bus garages indicate health and safety hazards. No wonder London’s Bus Workers are choosing to get away from Unite.

In the year 2010 , in one of the most democratic countries in the world , a worker can’t choose his own union,.

A union Assistant Secretary can tell workers they are owned by his union and they have no other option.

In this country a worker can be denied his most basic, democratic and legal right to choose the union he/she wants to be in.

As for Bob Crow, a respected leader of a major union, while defending his own members against bullying and harassment, he is actually bullied himself and harassed by Unite and the TUC.

RMT London Bus Workers Central Committee (dissolved or according to Mr crow never existed)

8:31 am April 1, 2010

chforsyth wrote :

"Ah, this is the clever bit. When you see giant posters of David Cameron’s face going up all over the country, that’s your signal. ... Yes, it will all make sense at the time."

I thought that part was especially inspired.

7:15 pm March 28, 2010

Simon wrote :

I have started a campaign to get people wearing blue before the election to show their support.
As well as joining The Blue Campaign to Get the Conservative Party Elected on Facebook at http://ow.ly/1rPyv you can now follow the campaign on Twitter. http://twitter.com/thebluecampaign – this is for the whole party but given our location we are particularly keen on Mark Clarke in Tooting and hoping to help him unseat Transport Minister Sadiq Khan.