Letting Go

How do you let go of something? Or someone? How do you let go of an emotion? How do you let go of control? We’ve all heard the saying: If you love something, set it free; if it doesn’t come back it wasn’t yours to begin with, if it does come back it’s yours. We have no control over other people’s actions. None. We can only react to what they do. We can try to direct them to the course of action we want them to take, but we can’t make them do anything. We have no control over them and they have no control over us. The answer to my question is a dose of reality.

You have to realize that what someone else does only effects you if you let it. Do you want that person to make you mad? Do you want to think about the issue that person put in front of you? Ask yourself this. Why is that person even in my life? We can’t control who comes and goes in our lives either. I recently received an email that said people come into a our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. If it’s for a reason, once their purpose in our lives has been fulfilled, they leave. We can’t control that. We have to let them go. If it’s for a season, we can’t define how long that will be. But when it’s over we have to let them go. If we’re lucky enough that it’s for a lifetime, then we have been given a true friend. Regardless to what type of relationship we have with that person, they will always be there.

You also have to realize what effects us now, probably won’t effect us in five years or ten years. We can’t freak out over everything. Stress like that will kill us. Stop and think about what a particular issue is actually about. Did that person really piss you off, or did he/she just make you stop and think about something you don’t want to face. A true friend will help you look in the mirror, and step back so you can see what you need to see. That friend can’t make you look, but they will be there to help you fix what you need to fix and to celebrate what isn’t broken. All the stuff you see in the mirror that comes from someone else, whether a parent or spouse or stranger, you have to let go of. You have to tell yourself, this is not what defines me. This is not who I am. This is someone else’s issue, not mine. Once you can distinguish that, you can see the real you.

Then you have a decision to make. What do you want to hold onto? Do you have that true friend who pushes you toward the mirror when you need to take a look? Do you have that person that you let go of and they’re still there, waiting on you to look their direction? Once you can answer those questions honestly for yourself, life is a whole lot sweeter.