Monica BielankoA chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.

Despite the legions of well-meaning yet extremely annoying people who advise pregnant women to "sleep while you can", as if sleep is something you can stock up on at Costco, I forgot what it’s like to not never - no never - get more than three hours of sleep in a row. In fact, three consecutive hours is a glorious gift from God. I’d take three hours of sleep over three hours with Jake Gyllenhaal. And Jake, he’s my freebie, you know? So if Jake ever wants to get with me my husband has to be okay with it.

I'm on the edge, people. Don't fuck with the sleepless mother of a newborn. I will cut a bitch. It's what I'm babbling about today.