It’s Summer. It’s hot. You go to pools. You swim in pools. You feel refreshed. You feel happy. You also feel pain in your eyes because you’ve swam too much. It sucks because it totally ruins your pool buzz and makes you not want to go back into the water. Here’s a funny fact: the reason why your eyes hurt is not because of chlorine. You might not want to know the reason why your eyes hurt either.

It’s a lot more complicated than that: it’s because the chlorine has evolved into something a lot more terrible thanks to an additive we humans gift pool waters. The Washington Post explains in unsavory details, after learning this information from the CDC…

It turns out the cause is actually urine binding with chlorine to turn into something called a chloramine. In addition to being an eye irritatant, chloramine, a derivative of ammonia, has been linked to respiratory problems among some swimmers.

So, yes, people peeing in pools is turning your pool water into ammonia that is killing your eyes. Seriously! Fucking assholes peeing in pools, making chemical reacting that shit so you not only get an unwanted eye peel but you are getting fucking piss in your eye.

I have never peed in a pool. I have peed in the ocean—but not in a pool. Are these just little kid assholes peeing in pools? If I meet an adult this Summer who admits to peeing in pools, I will look their little pee whole in the face and bite it. I am not kidding. I love swimming and I love the water and I hate eye irritation from swimming too much. If your inability to keep your Golden Showers out of the cool pool is why my buzz has to be forced off by getting out of the pool, you do not deserve to Summer and you deserve some crotchety comeuppance.