Nicholas Salerno, 90, of Dennis Port, Massachusetts, was charged recently with solicitation of a prostitute. The charge came after he had called the police to report that the call girl had stolen a necklace from him after the act.

Salerno reportedly paid 48-year-old Karen Proia $100 on June 22nd to take a taste of his beefy bologna.

He told police she used the bathroom in his house and he later noticed his necklace was missing. He reported the alleged theft to police June 30, records show.

Police recovered the necklace at Bass River Coin, records state.

A police officer told Salerno he also would be charged with a crime, for soliciting a prostitute, to which Salerno responded, “I don’t give a (expletive). I’m 90 years old …” according to court documents. Read More…

According to the police report, Salerno informed the officer that arrived to file the theft report that he had made, that he had learned about Proia from a friend who had told him that he had paid her for a blowjob and she’d do it for him too.

Salerno’s necklace was found later at a local pawn shop, a worker there told police that Proia had recently brought it in.

The charge of soliciting for Salerno was eventually dropped and Proia faces a September 1st court appearance for prostitution and larceny.

In a just world she’d just be facing charges for stealing the necklace, the other thing was just a business agreement between the two.

Phuc X. Kieu, 58, of Orlando, Florida was released after new evidence showed that the sexual assault and robbery charges levied against him were untrue.

This past Sunday in Gainesville, Florida, police arrested and charged Phuc X. Kieu, 58, of Orlando, FL, with sexual battery, robbery and kidnapping. He was accused of assaulting and attempting to rape a man who was withdrawing money from an ATM machine.

Via The UK Daily Mail:

‘The defendant [Kieu] parked his vehicle (green Honda Civic), laid the driver’s seat all the way back and proceeded to watch homosexual pornography on a portable DVD player,’ the report says.

It continues ‘As the victim passed the driver’s side of the vehicle, the defendant exited, grabbed the victim, punched him in the mouth and grabbed he bag containing the money the victim withdrew.’

Kieu, of Orlando, then allegedly tried to undress the man, who was able to get out of Kieu’s Civic, the report says.

At the time, Kieu also allegedly tried to take the man’s backpack from him, which contained the money from the ATM. Read More…

Jeremy Mitchell Foster, 21, of Starke, Florida has been charged with filing a false report after accusing Phuc Kieu of attempted rape.

Now two days later the whole thing has unraveled. It turns out that the “victim” Jeremy Mitchell Foster, 21, of Starke, Florida, made the whole thing up. Foster, admitted to police that the whole story was a farce after new surveillance video was revealed.

Via First Coast News:

Afterward, the man known as Phuc X Kieu was released from jail.

But the damage had been done. On Monday, GPD circulated an arrest report containing the false accusations leveled at Kieu — even uploading it online due to “popular demand.” The post has since been taken down.

“It was well after the story broke that GPD investigators determined that the statements provided by Foster were false,” spokesperson Ben Tobias said in a release Wednesday.

“The on-scene officers conducted a thorough investigation, including speaking with apparent witnesses,” the release said. “At the time, based on information revealed during the investigation, Mr. Kieu was arrested.”

It turns out, a thorough investigation didn’t include looking at surveillance video from a nearby business. That video surfaced during a follow-up investigation after Kieu’s arrest, according to GPD. Read More…

It looks like Phuc Kieu needs to give a big Fuck You to the false accuser for soiling his cool name.

Gabriel Harris, 33, poses with a sad clown face in his mugshot. Harris was arrested for assaulting a cop after denied service in a Taco Bell drive-thru.

All he wanted was to be left alone to ride his bicycle and eat some Taco Bell. Gabriel Harris, 33, was arrested last Sunday morning in New Smyrna Beach, FL after a drunken night which ended with a scuffle with police. Police were called to the scene after Harris caused a scene when he was denied service at the drive-thru because he was on a bicycle and because the restaurant had just closed.

Via WFTV:

Reports said police found Harris sitting on the bicycle at the speaker. Police said as officers asked Harris to leave they spotted a Swiss Army knife on his belt loop. An officer reached for the knife, but Harris grabbed his wrist.

Yesterday afternoon in Audubon, New Jersey, a man covered head to toe in a burqa robbed a bank, marking the third time in four weeks that he has struck. If you think about it, it sort of is the perfect disguise to wear in this day and age — nobody has the balls anymore in our country to risk offending Muslims by asking them to take the ridiculous bed sheets they cover themselves with when walking into high security areas.

Via The South Jersey Times:

Police say the man entered the Beneficial Bank on the 100 block of S. White Horse Pike in Audubon shortly before 2 p.m. Oct. 8 and handed a teller a note demanding cash.

The suspect then fled the scene with an undisclosed amount of cash.

This marks the third such incident to happen in the last four weeks, the first taking place at the Susquehanna Bank on Market Street in Camden on Sept. 17, and the second on Sept. 25 at the Audubon Savings Bank on S. White Horse Pike.

The suspect in all three cases is described as a light-skinned male dressed in a black robe and head covering. Read More…

… No, surprisingly enough, the missing POTUS was not found on a golf course. As a matter of fact, unfortunately it was not the real dear leader that had gone missing recently, but a statue of him.

Tiffany Bruce of Wilkes-Barre, PA spent months saving up the $1249 needed to purchase a life sized replica of President Barack Obama.

Fake Obama working about as hard as the real version.

In the time that she has had the icon of the false idol, she and her family had dressed it up for Halloween as well as as Santa Clause for Christmas. Earlier this week Bruce had found that the statue was missing from its normal position on a bench on her front porch.

This is an interesting story, from my local bird cage liner, that just about perfectly outlines the complete mess that my hometown of Cleveland has become. After Cleveland Police responded to reports of a shooting in the Flats, a CPD cruiser was stolen. The original text of the article was edited by the Plain Dealer’s Sarah Jane Tribble, but before it was an astute commentator made the following point on the article.

the PD writes: “decided to make the otherwise routine stop more interesting…”

We’ve hit the apex in gun violence.

It’s now regarded as routine by the fourth estate…

The fact that a man stole a police car, is not the notable point of this story. The fact that violent crime is now a normal thing in the city of Cleveland is.

Thank you Cuyahoga county democrats, Cleveland is now officially the wild wild west, under your watch.

The trial of alleged serial killer Anthony Sowell, began today here in my hometown Cleveland, OH. Jeffrey Dahmer may have gotten his start in Northeast, OH but he did most of his killing in Milwaukee. Now in Anthony Sowell we have our a true homegrown serial killer — another in a long line of things that makes you ashamed to admit that your from Cleveland. It could be worse though, at least we’re not Detroit.

The jury got to take a tour of the home were Sowell stashed his victims. From my local bird cage liner, The Plain Dealer:

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Jurors suited up in rubber gloves, medical masks and paper booties this morning for their guided tour of Anthony Sowell’s Imperial Avenue duplex, where prosecutors say 11 women met violent ends and where their bodies were discovered in the fall of 2009.

Twelve jurors and four alternates toured the house in groups of four, entering through a back door and working their way methodically through the home’s basement and three floors.

Court bailiffs stationed on each floor guided the jurors to take note of the layout and to observe significant areas – such as the crawl space beneath the basement stairs, where police found multiple bodies during weeks of excavation.

That’s really not the type of field trip I want to take before being sequestered for a potentially long and drawn out trial. I watch the video of the tour of Sowell’s house and can’t believe that Sowell or anyone else actually lived there. Not only did Sowell live their, Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson’s niece who was dating Anthony Sowell — actually lived there not that long before he was caught.