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(the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 331

Thursday, 14 February 2013

THE TOON v THE METAL GURUS ***TOONEET!

Updated '11:50am bells' St Valentines Day 2013

"ONLY ONE LOVE!---NUFC!"("Er!"---"apart from 'wor lass'---like!")

"IT'S JUST LIKEWATCHIN'BRAZIL!"The Toon are expected? to name a near full strength team for this Europa Leegue 'St Valentines Day' game @ St James' Park, thanx mainly to gettin' knocked oot of the FA Cup at the thord roond stage, az we have a free weekend comin' up az it's 'fifth roond day(s)'!The wethaa isn't too canny at the minute, (although it isn't az caad az it waz yesterday!) but the 500 Metalist fans who have been given FREE travel by their very generous club owner on three chartaa flights,< (take note 'Fat Controller'!) can expect 'Ukrainian style wethaa' at tooneets game az the 'current bun' disappears ower the horizon! (ie: it will be freeezin' caad with the chance of snow!)The game iz live on ESPN and kicks off @ '8:05 bells' and we predict a sub 30,000 crowd in the sub zero temperatures!Wor manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' haz made a bizzare statement aboot this competition: "This is probably the toughest competition we are in other than the Premier League!"When you consider that we are anly left in these TWO competitions anyway, havin' been knocked oot of the 'lesser' Leegue Cup and the FA Cup, <(accordin' to him!) IZ he tryin' to tell us somethin'?Wor visitors of course have been here for a week to acclimatize and played a practise friendly against Whitley Bay (of aall teams!) on Sunday in which they drew 1-1 with the Northern Leegue side!<(don't for a second be fooled by this scoreline!)We won't speculate on wor 'near full strength' team line up toneet,<(We'll just have to wait and see!) but we understand that Metalist will have SIX Brazilianz in their side and THREE Argentinianz!

This will be wor 71st home game in aall European competitions <(includin' 6 in the Anglo-Italian Cup) and 142nd game in total <(13 Anglo-Italian Cup games!)Lets hope it's a 'St Valentines Day' 'massacre'<(in WOR favour!!!)PS: Wor possible opponents in the next roond, (shud we get through!?) are Anji Makhachkala of Rushaa or Hannover 96 of Jawmany, who play @ '5 bells' toneet @ Anji. We can anly hope that Hannover 'get through', az the trip to Rushaa cud be a nightmare, az visas will be required at very short notice, priced at £150 from their London embassy! ---we understand!"HOWAY HANNOVER!"Match report to follow much later az usual!