Coffee Table Wedding Album Table - New product.

Derek Pye Photography is pleased to announce an exciting new product for 2006.

Have you ever ordered a storybook coffee table wedding album and been disappointed? I have and so have many of my clients. Unlike conventional coffee table albums The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' is an actual table. For once it's a wedding album you can really put your coffee on. No more fumbling around in drawers looking for your wedding photos when immigration officers arrive unannounced. Your album furniture is always there as a wonderful conversation piece. Pull up a chair and put your feet up. The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' has been tested to withstand very hot coffee.

Details:

Table made in China from superb wood.

The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' may stain if you drink real coffee.

Available to buy or rent. Yes that's right. Why buy wedding products when you can rent them. Our attractive leasing packages mean you can return your Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' when you no longer need it. Please note your Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table Table' may be repossessed if you fail to keep up repayments.

Frequently Annoying Questions.

1. Is the album detachable? - No it is super glued to the highest standards

2. Can I return the The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' if it's broken? - No, I have a shed full of broken ones as it is.

3. Do you offer any other wedding furniture? - Not at the moment but we hope to offer The Derek Pye Storybook Occasional Table Wedding Album Occasional Table Table'soon.

4. Can I put other hot drinks on my Album Table? - Our Album Tables have been tested with coffee and various alcoholic beverages. I can confirm that it is safe for biscuits and snacks. Do not allow children or animals near your Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' in case it falls on them and they are killed.

5. How much do they cost? - Like all wedding supplies the cost varies depending on how well off you sound when you call.

Anonymous

Derek

Yes - your Album Table‚will arrive flat packed, about 6-7 months after we
receive full payment. The instructions are in Chinese so you'll need to get
them translated.

The album arrives separately a few months later. If you've finished
assembling the table you should then super glue the album to the top. All
you need to do then is wait for the photographs to arrive so you can stick
them in. Use the remainder of the glue for this.

Derek

We are aware of this problem and it is likely that the MKII Table Album™ will
feature an old record player turntable fixed between the album and the table,
allowing the pictures to be viewed from any position in the room.

Anon

I'm thinking of doing a budget service called the "Drive-By Shooting Wedding
Shoot". For 25 quid I arrange for the bride and groom to stand on the kerb
outside the church at a precisely pre-arranged time. My driver comes tearing
around at the correct time (give or take 20 minutes, no refunds allowed) and I
grab a shot from the passenger seat. With the motordrive on full speed I
might manage 6 shots - one of which is bound to be sharp. I can worry about
the exposure later (that's the joy of digital after all).

What do you think? I reckon with a bit of planning I could fit around 20 of
these into a single day. The bride and groom get a picture, and noone has to
stand around for hours while some fat b*****d egomaniac snapper with
yellow fingers and halitosis shouts at them.

If you like the idea, I'll sell it to you. Please feel free to call me!

Anonymous

Good luck with this one. I hope you have more success than my 'Toilet Seat Portrait' range. I thought people would love to have images of their loved ones in the Throne Room. It was a brilliant concept; the man's face on the top front of the seat, so she could look down and see her loved one during her ablutions... and when you put the toilet seat up, there's the missus smiling at you.

Yet, despite all this smart stuff, it simply failed to sell. Personally, I blame the toilet seat manufacturers and their inability to get the right white balance for the background. No one wants to see their loved ones looking off colour, especially during urination.

Derek

Pete

I was so interested in your exciting new wedding concept, I have deciderd to throw my heavy nikon equipment away and go down the throw away camera route, I am going to charge just £99.01 for my triple gold package, take a couple of shots of the couple, then give them the camera to get proccesed themselves, so I wont have to piss about with fotoship and all that crap, if they want reprints they can just phone me up and I can tell them to take them to jessops and send me £10.00 for the copyrights, do you think this will bo O.K

Dave

Derek, I'm used to offering the parents a smaller copy of the album. Now I don't want to pay for 3 x your product, so I was wondering if you do a nested table version ? That way it keeps postage prices down too. Only concern is over which parent gets the bigger of the 2 small tables

Derek

Emma Flavell Highlands

Neil

Derek the £2000 "The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table" that arrived by delivery truck was damaged when i unpacked it, there was no return postage label, can you send me a pre-paid heavy duty shipping crate to post it back to you as id like a replacement, this time with a teak finish as the current "gloss Oak look" doesn't suit my suite! My dog is quite tall so id appreciate it if you could extend the legs a bit so he can sleep under the table. Many thank for the album though its fab!

Derek

Neil

The crate arrived for my return which is great. Ive repacked the "The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table" but with some modifications for your consideration. You could try adding wheels so it can be "passed" round when you have visitors. If you add a travel luggage style fold out handle it could be used to serve tea from the kitchen thus saving further space and added practicality and value. I look forward to our further communications with regards my modifications. Yours one happy customer, Neil