I have to learn to move on! not get caught by one person! not get caught up by one person.

But its scary and hard! Im very weak, and Im just starting, and its an admission that my parents are gone! and the other person only thinks about themselves. And Ive been told, Im only thinking about myself! and I ready to leave and find others. and Im so scared to leave and find others. I have to trust God. I don't like being alone! I hate it! I have to keep working at things... I don't understand!

I have this girlfriend that wont be my girlfriend... she keeps on waiting, wanting to get to know me, get to know my condition before she goes out with me! I guess this is OK! I just wanted a girlfriend! I do not want my time waisted with this nonsense. I want to go out and have fun! instead Im dealing with this stupid ######6 baggage of; are you a serial killer thats going to cut me up when were alone! $#%^ like that.

F#ck, who in there right mind is going to waist there time with someone like this/ "me" so far! How long will it last.

I get frustrated every time Im around her! I hate being around this f#cking b#tch! Everything was fine until this safety stuff pops up!

I know what will happen! sooner or later, she will be gone! she's never been interested in me! this whole thing is a joke! and I will continue to be strung along until it stops..

if I was smart, I would find other girls to go out with! hook up with them, and leave this nut case be! I told her I liked her! what else does she need...

I want to go make out, then get ice cream, go to the lake and throw her in, then have her throw me in! go mountain biking! play frisbee in the park! cook stuff on an old barbecue ! Go to a drive in movie theater and see a horror movie!

Have her Sleep in my arms and wake up in the morning!..

Hip hop dance, go to a camp out! Go, to an old style store at an old lake resort and have a snow cone.

Sit at a local outdoor swimming pool, and have a picnic in the sun, then jump in with the other thousand kids...

Go for walks all over the place!

Am I missing something!

I want to hold hands and get close to each other as Im sitting with her at a meeting! kiss on her, and hold her!

I don't get it!

I suppose I have to find the right people! I didn't understand that some people are not like this! but thats not my problem!

Some people you have to let go of! say goodbye, They don't count!

I have to stand up to people and make my decisions and stick to them!

ITs really about creating other options.. I have the potential for other options, but I don't have any other options at the moment! This will take work!