Disclaimers: I wish I owned SW that way I could have Obi Whenever I
wanted, but this is real life and I don't. : ( George Lucas and Fox and
ILM and Lucas Films own them all.

Spoilers: Not in this one, because you can read up to page 46 in the JA
books and then ignore everything else. Except, you would also have to
ignore the conversation between Yoda and Qui-Gon saying that he was also
going to Bandomeer, cause in this fic, he doesn't.

Summary: Obi-Wan has not been chosen as a Padawan and the Council sends
him to Bandomeer. While on route the ship is attacked and Obi-Wan is lost.
The whole thing goes on from there.

Author's Note: This story was the Plot Bunny of the most illustrious
Shanobi, which this story is dedicated to. She posted the baby bunny on
the Plot Bunny Thread at TF.N and it grabbed me immediately. I know, I
know, I have like 3/4 other stories still out there that need completion,
but you can only write that which beckons you, so I am here writing this.
I promise to get back to those ASAP. I do want to finish them, it's just
taking longer for inspiration to come than I thought. Please don't forget
to review. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!!! :D :D

between darkness and light." - It Can't Rain All The Time(Crow Soundtrack)

There were times when the darkness was comforting and inviting. It's only
desire to envelop and take a person away from the pains and sorrows of the
living world. Banishing worry to leave only a deep serenity. Why would
anyone want to deny such a wonderful thing as darkness? The young boy
thought. After all, what was there to live for when your dreams are all
but shattered? And yet the grey haze that brought with it the grace of
light and warmth and beauty crept into the edges of the void. And
mentally, he had to suppress the shiver that ran through him, as the
comforting rays of light drove out the cold that surrounded him. The
intensity of the brightness grew, also bringing on the intense heat of his
body. Progressively, Obi-Wan became aware of the fire that emanated from
his wounded form. His hazy mind recalled the brief conversation he had
with Clat'Ha and that he had been pounded by a Hutt from Offworld. The
fever was obviously a side effect from my injuries.

He prepared himself to sit up, but even those small movements caused him to
wince at the pain. Pushing the pain aside, he centered his cloudy mind and
called upon the Force to heal him. After some long minutes, he could feel
the nagging aches dull to a throbbing discomfort. Gently, he pulled
himself up to a sitting position and opened his eyes. Immediately, he shut
them again as the harsh glare of the infirmary lights caused his eyes to
dilate too quickly, inviting a new pain. Raising a hand to shield against
them, he carefully, re-opened the captivating sea change orbs. Glancing
around he took in his surroundings, and noticed he was alone. I guess I'm
not even that important to the people I was assigned to.

But that sarcastic thought brought with it agonies that quickly over took
those of his physical body and stabbed right through his heart. He was
heading to Bandomeer to become a Farmer. Not a glorious Jedi Knight, but a
Jedi Agroculturalist, a failure. The realization made him nauseous, and he
soon found himself lying back down on his medical bed. I don't care how
selfish it sounds, but I don't want to be a farmer!! His mind cried out
at the injustice he had been forced into. Fully succumbing to his misery
and pain, he fell back into the abyss of darkness.

The next time Obi-Wan emerged from the void, he knew he had been woken by
something. At first he gathered his thoughts so as to figure out what
could have pulled him from the abyss, when he was suddenly jerked in his
bed. A loud boom could be heard and Obi-Wan knew instantly something was
happening. Forcing his protesting limbs to move, he hurried as best he
could to sit up. Another thud and he was almost thrown from his berth.
Gripping the sides of his cot, Obi-Wan winced against the pain that ran
through him.

Soothing his rushed thoughts, he called again upon the healing power of the
Force. When he felt it wrap around him like a soft down comforter in
winter, he slid off the sleep couch. Removing the tubes that were placed
to heal him, Obi-Wan hurried from the medical ward to find out what was
going on. Bangs and shimmies lurched the ship from side to side. Obi-Wan
had to use every ounce of his strength to keep upright. Just up ahead of
him a giant blast knocked him off his feet. Smoke filled the small
corridor, causing Obi-Wan to cough as the hot billows seared his lungs.
Shouting and growling erupted all around him, confusing the dazed boy.

Shaking his head clear from the fever still trying to overpower him, Obi-
Wan glanced up to find a group of Togorian Pirates moving toward him. Two
broke off from the group to stop in front of the downed and wounded former
Jedi. Speaking in their own tongue, Obi-Wan could not make out what they
were saying. It appeared to be some kind of argument, but he still had no
idea what was the problem at hand. Finally they stopped their debate and
one raised their blaster rifle only to bring it back down on his temple.
Darkness quickly wrapped her nightly robes around him.

*******

He sat alone in the map room, gazing at the twinkling worlds floating
around him. In all the galaxy only one of the sparkling planets really had
his attention, Bandomeer. His mind still debated his choice, despite the
futility in it. The boy had too much anger. He could have turned. His
fate was already decided by the Council and there is nothing I can do about
it now. Even at his half excuses, Qui-Gon somehow felt wrong. And that
sensation scared him more than he cared to admit. Suddenly, the door
opened and he watched as a small shadow entered.

"Alright, if join you I do? Intruding not am I?" The ancient Master
asked, but Qui-Gon detected a small hint of something else in the tiny
Jedi's tone.

"Of course not," Qui-Gon assured. He watched as the green being worked
itself onto one of the benches lining the wall. Once Yoda had settled
himself, the tall Knight could see the deep sorrow etched in the wrinkled
visage of the sage. "Is there something wrong, Master?"

A long sigh escaped the petite form as he nodded. "The ship, /Monument/,
attacked has been. Many casualties there were." He paused, and Qui-Gon
leaned in closer. The Knight could sense that that in itself was not the
reason for the Master's grief. Silently, he waited for Yoda to continue.
Sighing again he added, "A promising student was lost." Yoda rested his
chin on the top of his gimmer stick and looked up to the stars.

At that moment, Qui-Gon's heart sped up and his anxiety grew. He was
afraid of the Master's answer and somehow Qui-Gon already knew it before
asking, but his hope forced him to press, "Who?"

Heaving yet another sigh Yoda fought for composure. Qui-Gon could see how
much this must have been upsetting the green Jedi. "The young initiate to
Bandomeer we sent, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

In a rush, Qui-Gon felt all his hopes, desires and dreams die a violent and
horrible death. He had lost the young boy with those compelling blue-green
eyes that invited you into his soul. His heart seized for a moment as he
tried to catch his breath. Quietly, he whispered, "What have I done?"