Shaping up angry employee

Interpersonal Edge

Q. I have an employee who seems to be angry nearly all the time. I have told him in performance reviews that if he doesn't shape up I am going to need to let him go. The problem is, his performance is excellent. How do I get him to quit scaring everyone?

A. People who appear angry are usually afraid. A little-known fact about anxiety disorders is that they make people act extremely irritable. Research has shown that intelligence and anxiety disorders are highly correlated, so if you have a very bright employee, you probably are dealing with someone prone to irritability.

Consider the lesson of the common household cat. When the cat is frightened, what does it do? It puffs up to twice its size and makes horror-movie quality sounds.

You can't mandate a new "No Anxiety" policy in your workplace, but you can coach your employee on better ways to manage his feelings. Start by realizing he probably has no idea he is frightening you or his coworkers. Admitting we are afraid in the workplace has never been a popular pastime. At work we are supposed to be fearless cowboys laughing in the face of death and all other threats.

Here's the liberating truth: If you admit to your employee that his irritability is making you and his other coworkers afraid of him, you'll find his mouth probably hangs open in disbelief. Tell him that fear tends to be people act stupid, and his coworkers acting stupid will make his job harder.

Reassure him that you are certain his intention is not to frighten small children or his coworkers but that his current behavior (list specific language and actions he has used) is having this effect. Ask him to review videotape in his head of how he typically reacts and what he typically says. Ask him how else he thinks he might react that would make his coworkers less scared of him.

If your employee can't come up with new words and behaviors, consider talking to an executive coach yourself about what you can tell your employee to do differently. When you were promoted to manager, you were not automatically endowed with the knowhow to do interpersonal skills coaching. Get educated in communication skills, and you will find new power to focus your employee on productivity and new tools you can use every time one of your employees is scared and acting badly.

The last word(s)

Q. There has been some vicious gossip about me that has been spread by a jealous coworker. How can I defend myself from negative rumors?

A. You can't. Anything you say will keep the rumors alive. Hold your head high, do good work, and know your coworker will end up looking like a fool!