Oct 31, 2010

I'm a Christmas person. I think I've mentioned that before along with the fact that I love roses. I suppose if I lived in a climate where we had a change of seasons I'd love to go all out and decorate with fall leaves and pumpkins and definitely gourds and get caught up in the autumnal red, brown and orangy theme.

But I don't live in a climate where there are any seasons. Our change of seasons are: Heatstroke Hot, Hot Flash Hot, Just Plain Hot and Unseasonably Warm. The leaves may fall off of a Frangipani or two but that's about the only thing that falls around here besides my drunken neighbor or me during a Meniere's attack.

The Genius LOVES Halloween. She generally takes charge of the children and enjoys every moment of the experience while I cower inside hiding from the trick or treaters. I start buying candy in July as I cannot afford it right before October 31st since our neighborhood is insane. My neighbor, Brasilia, counts the trick or treaters every year. One year we had over 400. Yes. That's a lot of candy.

This year I've purchased 5 bags of candy ahead of time and have eaten 5 bags of candy. It is Halloween day and I am candy-less. I'm in big trouble, people. And ten pounds heavier.

And then there's the costumes. whine

The Teenager is easy. Every year for 17 years you can count of her wanting to be something with wings. Ladybug. Butterfly. Fairy. Fairy Princess. Fairy Princess Butterfly. This year she's an Angel. Wings are easy to find. This is a good thing.

The baby could care less. This year I'm bobbie-pinning a veil and a flower to her head and calling her a Bride.

The Boy. Ah, The Boy. Remember when he wanted to be Jack Bauer? Yeah, well that has changed at least 10 times since that idea formulated in his ADHD brain circuitry. The Boy usually changes his mind 10 to 15 times and ends up wearing the same costume as last year which in this case is a policeman.

I love the idea of him pretending to be a law enforcement officer. Such a good role model to emulate! It does have it's draw backs, however. Like this which I discovered last evening:

And him asking me in a very loud voice in the grocery store, "Mom. when we get home will you handcuff me?"cringeSome people like my childhood friend, Haggie Maggie like the spooky aspect of Halloween. Here she is below in one of her many scary persona's. She is the local hag at a big seafood festival in town every October.Note the Spanish Moss which I am always compelled to point out is neither Spanish or a moss.

Boo!

You want scary? Forget Halloween. My house is scary 365 days a year. Save the haunted house ticket price and come to my house for a day. I'll give you scary. How about you wake up with this crawling on your face?

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

And even this can be scary. Especially when his proboscis is stuck up your nostril.

You know i could go on and on with the photos but I have to go buy candy now. As I'm typing this, however, as if on cue, The Boy comes inside wild with excitement, "Look what I found in the gazebo! Look!" I look ...and look...but I can't see anything. Until it hops three feet up into the air off of The Boy's head scaring the pee right out of me:

I'll take the Boy's contributions any day. What a fabulous moth! And I loved the green beetle. Plus, who can resist such a lovable frog? OK, I'll admit that although I'm not afraid of snakes, I wouldn't want to have one in the house. Maybe you need a cat to go with your dog & kids? Cats are good at routing bugs and snakes.

Some folks hate Halloween. But ever since the night I danced until dawn as Carmen Miranda on the streets of Key West at Fantasy Fest, I've loved October 31st. Any holiday that gives you an excuse to laugh and dance into dawn gets my vote.

I was sorry to catch your inference about Muniere's. The reference was funny (you and the drunk neighbor) but vertigo is a curse and I'm sorry to hear you have to manage it. Hoping your body somehow restores itself so you're free.

Feedjit

The Secret Pepper Person and Posse

59 year old single mom of 2 grown birth children and 3 adopted special children still at home. R.N. who works part-time as an Early Interventionist with special children from 0 to 3 years of age. Loves documentaries,organic and butterfly gardening, crafting , frugal and green living, re-purposing vintage fabric, thrifting, and swinging in trees in Alabama. Fantasizes about taking a nap. Prays for faith like George Mueller. Not happening so far.

The Genius

The Alpha daughter. First word spoken at 6 weeks. First sentence at 11 months. Asked her pediatrician if he was a "cuban refugee" at three. He was. The genius has a degree in Criminology, two spoiled cats and recently purchased a snazzy condo downtown. I was surprised by the condo as I thought she was already living in Ikea. The genius is a devoted auntie and sister who reads 2 to 4 books a week and loves the color black.The formula is as follows: IQ = SPP IQ X2.

The Artist

The Artist can be seen in the yearly dance calendars, Breaking Bounds, by photographer Lois Greenfiled throughout the years.The artistically gifted second daughter who graduated from a very expensive art college in Philadelphia is one of those annoying people who can do all things artsy. Dance. Sing. Make jewelry. Photography. A genetic descendant of St. Francis of Assisi, this "sister moon" is called "the dog whisperer" behind her back by the SPP's posse. She is currently involved in animal rescue and is usually tooling around the south in her VW transporting unfortunate animals to their new homes. As a child she ate Barbie doll toes. I spent years thinking the hamster did it until The Genius set me straight.

The Teenager

The teenager became part of the family in 1994. She was born with hypoplasia of the cerebellum. As a result she has cerebral palsy. She was diagnosed with developmental delays early on and in later years has developed glaucoma and epilepsy. She was not supposed to be able to walk, talk or use her upper extremeties well. No one shared this information with her. She began walking wihout assistance at age 6. She began writing at the age of 13. After 10 years in book one of Hooked on Phonics she now reads well. She enjoys music, dancing, soccer, and her dvd collection. She loves light bulbs, cracks in windows and windshield wipers. The teenager comes up with the most interesting statements. They are rarely politically correct.

The Boy

The boy became a part of the family in 2000. He has a rare genetic disorder called Osteogenesis Imperfecta type 3. He has severe dyslexia and ADHD. The boy was not expected to survive per his geneticist and pulmonologist. No one shared this information with the boy. The boy is Evel Knievel in a Humpty Dumpty body. He loves monster trucks, cars of all kinds especially vintage and critters. The boy could not understand why I was upset with him when I discovered a live snake in his top bunk becasue it was " not poisonous." Don't ever say to the Secret Pepper Person that boys are easier than girls. I will hurt you.

The Baby

The baby became a member of the family in 2007. She was rescued by a paramedic who found her dead in the amniotic sac in a hallway. For those of you who find this offensive please get a life. The baby should be in a vegetative state from the estimated 10 minutes of cerebral anoxia. No one informed her of that. The baby is the happiest child I have ever known and is seriously nosey. She has cerebral palsy and seizures but neither interfere with her quality of life. She signs and has just begun to talk. Even when she is 30 she will be referred to as the "baby" as she is the omega child. The baby loves french fries,music, remote control cars and soft blankets. She hates peaches.

The Dog

The most recent addition to the posse came to us from Great Pyrenes Rescue. Vanna White had lived in several homes before ours and the day we met her she was leaving for yet another adoptive placement. The adoption fell through after 2 weeks as, "there was still too much puppy in her." What they really meant to say is that she likes to pee on furniture. Vanna is a herd protector by nature who is strong enough to take on a bear but becomes emotionally attached to her herd animals. This is a perfect fit for our family. She is very protective of the baby and sleeps by her crib. She has a disctinct "boy bark" which alerts me to the fact that the boy is outside doing stunts not wearing his helmet. Yes, Vanna is that intelligent. Vanna loves other dogs, digging, long walks, chicken and peeing on the sofa. She hates the rain.

The Cat

The cat showed up in our backyard about 14 years ago. No one knows where he came from or how old he was. Every time you approached him he would drop to the ground and roll, thus the name, "Roller." Once we determined that Roller wasn't rabid we decided to make him a permanent member of the family. He grudgingly obliged. Roller had some "adjustment issues" and our kind and gentle Hindu vet informed me he thought Roller needed some help "finding his place in the family" and put Roller on Elavil. In other words, the cat was seriously psycho. Roller's issues have mellowed over the years but if there are 14 people in my living room he will stalk the one person who hates cats. He is an accomplished hunter and likes to leave bloodied fruit rats on the door mat or if he's mad at me on my bed. After the last rat on the bed the cat door was nailed shut. Roller likes freedom, two story houses, rats and chocolate Ensure Plus. He hates the dog, the kids and the 4th of July.

Iris aka Virus

Iris has been with the family for almost 7 years and is the teenagers' respite worker/personal care assistant. Iris looks like a Bavarian milkmaid who should be clad in a dirndldress or lederhose. A cross between Heidi Klum and Gretel complete with culry blonde hair and rosy complexion. Iris, however, has an alter ego lovingly referred to as Virus. Virus likes the color black, sparkly clothes and metal bands. She met her husband, "the beard" at Livestock. 09 and he proposed at Livestock 12.They were married and went to a Great White concert after the ceremony. They have two model beautiful children which dispels the myth that pretty people have ugly children. Virus loves Ozzie Osborne, Motley Crue, Kiss, and Queensryche and has a Queensryche tattoo under the lederhose. If you look up Iris/Virus in Roget's Thesaurus you will find synonyms such as, "loyal, faithful, honest, kind, and long-suffering." Iris has a mental list of places she can never go to again because of the teenagers behavior. Virus doesn't care. Iris would like to have dinner with Ozzie Osborne before she dies but feels she needs an interpreter. I suggested the teenager. She hates REM and people who wear pajamas in public. Iris is the only person I would trust my children with and not be concerend about the outcome. For Iris or the children.