The Chronicles of the New Lighty Family

In the almost-a-year that Baby Lighty has been here, there’s only been a handful of times when he’s been looked after by anyone other than myself or our lovely childminder, including Mr Lighty. When Mr Lighty has looked after him, it’s normally been for just a couple of hours while I’ve been at WI or out for dinner with friends; once it was for the majority of the day while I attended my then-work’s Christmas do. Never has Mr Lighty done the whole 9 – 5, or rather 7 – 4:30, that Mrs Lighty has to do pretty much every day. Imagine the glee I experienced positive encouragement I therefore gave when our childminder was on holiday for 4 days recently and Mr Lighty cheerily said “I’ll take the time off to look after Baby Lighty!”. Did he really know what he’d let himself in for?! I mean, he’s a great Dad, he’s always been the type of bloke that’s wanted children forever, and he was broody waaaay before Mrs Lighty was, but did he really know what he’d let himself in for?!

Mrs Lighty was definitely mean mummy (or should that be mean wifey?) incarnate when role reversal day arrived, maintaining that if our roles were truly to be reversed, Mr Lighty would have to do everything from the get go. This included getting Baby Lighty dressed. “But what should he wear?”, Mr Lighty asked. “Oh anything,” I casually replied, “you decide!” I did go on to regret this statement, however, when I later received a photo of Baby Lighty wearing his Tottenham kit, poor child.

This what-to-wear conundrum was to be the first of many questions that day. The next was issued as I was about to stroll out the door on my way to work. “How do I make his porridge?!”, Mr Lighty frantically asked. “Just follow the instructions on the box then double the quantities!”, I tossed over my shoulder as I dashed out of the house.

And the questions didn’t stop once I’d left either. In fact they turned into a torrent of pretty hilarious text messages, as follows:

And so the list went on. Mr and Baby Lighty came to meet me from work that day. Mr Lighty even managed to bring the rain cover. Unfortunately, putting said rain cover on the buggy proved a step too far, especially under the watchful eyes of passers by in the car park as Mr Lighty set up the buggy. I was therefore greeted with a soggy Baby Lighty and pushchair when they met me at work. As I introduced Mr Lighty to my colleague, I could only hope that I was imagining the silent waves of judgement for the lack of rain cover!!

The scene at home wasn’t much better either. The house looked like it had been hit by Hurricane Baby Lighty: toys strewn everywhere, the dishwasher not yet loaded, (fortunately clean) nappies that had been pulled out from the change bag by a certain little person dotted about the place… And oh yes, I was mean enough to point out that had the situation been reversed, questions would’ve been asked about what Mrs Lighty had been doing all day!!

The next day was definitely better. Mr Lighty had obviously got the hang of things, as I didn’t receive a stream of fretful texts. Instead, Baby Lighty visited Mr Lighty’s workplace to be cooed over by his female colleagues, and they even managed a spot of shopping and a trip to the park! It didn’t mean though that I wasn’t a little miffed when I phoned to say I was on my way home from work to be told that Mr Lighty had just woken up from a nap! Sleep when the baby sleeps?! What a novel concept!!

By day 3 of Daddy Daycare, I was pretty much redundant! The only text message I received was a photo of Mr and Baby Lighty feeding the ducks at the park, and by day 4 I might as well have not existed! Didn’t hear a peep out of them all day until they came to meet me from work!

The photo Mrs Lighty received from Mr Lighty of the two of them feeding the ducks (and swans, geese and moorhens!) in the park!

Despite my very tongue in cheek account of Daddy daycare, I do think that Dads generally seem to get a raw deal. They are, after all, 50% of most parenting teams, yet there is many a baby vest aimed at mocking Daddies – such as the ones that announce “You can do this Daddy!” and have instructions to Dads to put the baby’s arms and legs here, here and here – and as The Dad Network recently highlighted, the lack of Dad-friendly baby changing stations in public loos says it all. But then most Dads have to go back to work two weeks after baby’s arrival, Mr Lighty included, so is it any wonder that they’re not all that au fait with their baby’s needs? I’m not saying all Dads are like this, there is many a fab stay at home Dad in this day and age and the ones that go out to work are often excellent Dads in their down time too. What I’m really saying is that babies take practice – for all of us, Mums, Dads, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Guardians etc etc – as Mr Lighty’s growing confidence over the four days above proved.

So well done Mr Lighty, you did a fabulous job, as I knew you would!

However, having said that, I hope you now realise what hard work it is being at home with the baby. And if you do happen to ask again, just as you did that very first time, what Mrs Lighty has been doing all day, I think I’m now justified to simply answer in the same way as I did when Baby Lighty was 2 weeks and 3 days old: “I kept the baby alive”!

Haha this did make me laugh – those text messages! To be honest though, it’s worse when they don’t text, then you wonder what they’re getting up to! Love that you asked the question what have you been doing all day,I remember the day you got asked the same question and how well that went down haha popping over from #fartglitter

Haha! Yep I think that was the more recent questioning you’re referring too? The one that warranted this face on my post on our Facebook group: 😡 The texts amused me so much that they inspired me to write this post, ha!! Thanks for swinging by! #fartglitter xxx

Ah I love this. Be prepared though, next time Baby Lighty is in Daddy Day Care and hes grown up a bit/his routine has changed, it’s likely to be question time again! Ours is 4 this year and I still get questions! Bless them! Glad they had a lovely few days together, I bet it did them the world of good. 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

Ah I love the stream of texts – really made me chuckle, as did imagining him trying to deal with the pushchair raincover which does indeed usually require some sort of high level degree in physics. My hubby would have done exactly the same thing: “Nah! Not messing about with that nonsense!” My latest voicemail at work on Saturday was from a frantic husband saying “Where is T’s other shoe? I can only find one shoe? We can’t go out!” (I will just add that he does have more than one pair but these were obviously HIDDEN in the SHOE CABINET. By the time I picked up the message said shoe had been located. In the washing machine. Washed and now about 30% smaller that it’s unwashed companion. He had launched the washing downstairs into the hallway and scooped it all up plus shoe. Ah well. At least he did some washing. I can’t grumble really! 🙂 xx
Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter x

Haha, that’s hilarious!! And you’ve just reminded me of a sentence I need to add to a blog I’m compiling about ridiculous sentences I never thought I’d say… Glad you got some washing done!! #fartglitter xxx

Love this post. Can’t wait to see how my hubby copes when Pea arrives – he’s not the most child friendly person when it comes to other people’s kids until they get a bit older and more interactive! But, with our own, he’s the other half of a parenting team! #FartGlitter

It’s weird because Mr Lighty is pretty much a big kid himself and all of our friends and relatives’ children have adored him for ages. He’s obviously a great Dad too, but I think he just panicked unnecessarily!! I’ll look forward to reading a future post from you about how your hubby copes alone with Pea!! Thanks for reading 🙂 #FartGlitter

I started out at the beginning of this post nodding, and thinking ‘yes yes, my husband is absolutely hilariously useless too!!’ But by the time I got to the end, I had completely reprocessed my earlier thoughts, and was sobered by your message of clearly lacking changing facilities for dads, and clothing which mocks them-it’s definitely food for thought!! My husband has only ever looked after our eldest, for half a day on his own, when I was back at work between maternity leaves. He’s never once looked after both of them together, for any period of time. I think it’s definitely a confidence thing now, and he’s putting it off and putting it off! He’s even got my parents coming to stay with him when I go to Britmums!! Mr Lighty’s panicked texts did make me laugh, but he got into it so quickly!! I’ll have to show this to my husband-it may boost his confidence that he’d be able to pick it all up in no time!!
#bigpinklink

Ah I hope you do show him and it helps! I must admit I started writing the post quite jovially but then the more I thought about it, the more I felt mean mocking Mr Lighty for something that I’d had a year’s worth of practice on. Not to mention that he was thrown in at the deep end with an almost toddler, whereas I’d had a slow burn from the newborn stage. Thanks so much for hosting #bigpinklink, I haven’t been by yet this week to read but I will be. Sorry for the delay! Xxx

I think every daddy should go through this! Mine are now 5,7 &10 and I still leave lists of what to do and when (usually involving homework and chores as these things aren’t relayed so well by the children!) if daddy’s in charge! When they were tiny, our childminder used to know immediately if I was away, just by what they were wearing!! xx #BloggerClubUK

Men do get a bit of a raw deal but in my house the other half does literally nothing with childcare. Once (once!) he got up with the baby in the morning so I could have a lie in and I spent said lie in answering similar questions, the first of which was “but what do I do with her?” This did make me laugh! Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG

Haha!! I must admit, Mr Lighty isn’t great with getting up in the night. After a bad night I always get “I’m sorry, I just don’t hear him!” Yes, that would be because YOU’RE SLEEPING!! Thanks for hosting #fortheloveofBLOG 🙂

Those texts made me laugh! I think dads truly do get a raw deal though. I am not sure if it’s because of the hours he works or just his personality or mine but my husband actually does just as much parenting as me although I am at home all the time and I breastfeed so obviously he can’t feed him. I’ve not actually left the baby for more than a few hours yet. But some days when I’ve been ill or tired literally all I’ve done is feed him and have a few cuddles while B has done everything else. He works evenings so is usually gone from 3pm-12/1am but has two days off a week. Anyway when he’s at home or we are all out he does most of the nappies and he has done nearly all the baby’s baths until we started weaning as I now have to bath him in the evenings after food. I definitely feel part of an equal team most of the time even though I do more hours if you like haha. #bigpinklink

Ah sounds like you two are a fab team!! Do you get to spend daytime together or does your hubby need to sleep during the day? I think when you do leave the baby with him for longer than just a few hours, he’ll be just fine! #bigpinklink

Hehe… 10/10 for effort Mr Lighty. Those text messages are very funny. I think it’s quite hard to jump into someone’s routine with the Little one, but it looks as though he did a smashing job. Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam x

It definitely is hard being home with a baby. I love the text convo you had with your husband. You are like me with all options & the routine down pat. It’s difficult for someone to step into those shoes. Thanks so much for linking up with us at #BloggerClubUK

It really is difficult for someone to step into your shoes it seems, although I did try to get across to him that he could find his own routine if it was easier for him. Thanks for hosting #bloggerclubuk 🙂