Archives for April 2016

Occasionally, a new job complements and utilizes our skills and natural talents. This can lead to early onset of a side effect I call, “excitement we’re no longer underemployed, and I can finally stop having all those recurring nightmares surrounding our high school reunion.” When you’re chronically underemployed, like I’ve been, finding a good job feels like a remarkable achievement. Like hitting a hole in one or making an omelet that isn’t horrifically burned on the bottom.

“I looked at my financial picture. It was a picture missing something. Money. I wasn’t making enough of it.”

In 2007, I was working for AT&T as a retail sales consultant. Later that year I applied for, and got, a much needed promotion to corporate business manager. I wanted out of retail. The money was good, but after five years I was burnt out. The promotion from retail to corporate gave me a chance at a career instead of a job. I was now working in the main corporate offices of AT&T on the same floor as the highest executives in Southern California. I had access to power in the organization previously unavailable to me. Like a newborn, I was open, curious, and peeing myself with excitement at the potential of it all. I also wore diapers, but that’s a personal comfort issue, and let’s just forget I wrote that.

“I knew AT&T was far from perfect, but I didn’t know they could be so merciless.”

When you’re underemployed and unhappy it’s only natural to look for ways to change your situation. After enough subpar jobs, asshole supervisors, and coffee breaks spent staring out the window sighing, you get hungry to move forward and find a career worthy of your skills. Many underemployed workers see returning to school as the best path forward. It can be. However, it can also lead to misery, especially if you do it wrong.

There are multiple ways to go back to school. You can go to a vocational school to get certified in a particular field like auto mechanic or dental hygienist. You can go to your local community college and pick up an AA degree. You can go to a four year state university. For most full time workers, the easiest option is a for profit college.

“I’d seen other students flail badly and still move on to the next class. I didn’t pay a lot of attention to it at the time, but after it happened to me, I took more notice of the school’s lax grading system.”

Many businesses espouse a philosophy that supports a work life balance for their employees. In practice though, businesses are requesting more time and more production from their workers. This leaves workers with less personal time than ever. When it comes to life/work balance in America, most companies dump a stage three heater* on their employees.

* A stage three heater is what I call my cat’s litter box deposits.

“I have the feeling it won’t be long before certain companies will implant a chip in its employees just to make sure they’re always talking about their products and services when the employee is away from the company”