It’s the last day of the old year, 2013, and already people are wishing each other a Happy New Year. TV networks have aired video summaries of the most colorful events of 2013. This morning, Arizona time, as people watched those videos over breakfast, Sydney, Australia had already crossed into the New Year and celebrated with fireworks. You have to watch those pesky time zones.

But wait! Have you properly said “[G]oodbye” to 2013? Before you launch into your New Year’s resolutions—and you know you will—how about first making your own summary list of all you accomplished or weathered or observed in the old year? My husband held a great-granddaughter on his lap for the first time. I finished the second edition of my newest book, Peace Within, and officiated an interfaith prayer service in a Catholic Church (think about it—I’ll wait) for International Day of Peace in September. A new Pope was elected, an Italian-speaking Hispanic, who embodies God’s love and goes by “Francis”, after St. Francis. And CBS says EsquireMagazine has named the Pope Best-Dressed Man Of The Year! For a Pope, he dresses simply, in white.

Why not make a list of all the frustrations and victories, disappointments and joys, that were there for you in this outgoing year? Take a piece of paper, or a word processor document, or create lists in your phone. Make 3 columns: what I didn’t like, what I did like, and what happened in the World that affected me. Take just 15 minutes, or more, if you realize it’s a powerful thing for you. You’ll notice a lot of accomplishments. Be proud. Celebrate the good. Toast to the wonders of the Old Year, and wait until midnight to ring in the New Year.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is the author of the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition). Keep this book with you constantly, to quickly recharge your Peace Within, with quotes, photos, and poems that take you directly there! Kebba is a corporate stress management trainer, and she also has a holistic healing practice.

Got stress over gifting? In our continuing series on beating holiday stress, you were no doubt expecting us to talk about your budget, when talking about gifting. Yes, that’s important. And many have found a budgetary haven in home-making or home-baking an array of holiday gifts. But your time is valuable, too, and that hand-done basket of cookies may have an actual cost higher than ordering cookies to be delivered. My family found a cookie product with our last name, “Cookie Buttons”, and we get them delivered to every household of relatives, in various flavors, with free shipping. One big order and we’re done! Except for the cards and calls, but that’s another column.

So let’s back up and ask a question no other writer has ever asked about holiday gifting: what standard are you setting with what you’re spending, either in time or money? Most people are on a budget, and they don’t have either the time or talent to spend a day and a half at holiday time, baking holiday goodies. And while you may think your generous gifts will be received with the same joy as that with which you selected or made them, here’s news for you: many people will feel bad when they open your gift! Why? First, because they’ve been too stressed to even get around to gift decisions yet this year, and they don’t have one for you, so now they feel GUILTY. Second, because your cookies are so gorgeous and always delicious, and you arranged them so beautifully on the seasonal platter, and their baking will never be up to that standard, so now they feel INFERIOR. Yes, most people’s self-esteem is very low!

A great bet is to quit gifting altogether, other than reasonable gifts for children of the family and seasonal food gifts for others. With relatives, ask them if they would like to exchange gifts this year. You may be surprised how fast they say, with relief, “[O]h, that would be great to skip it this year!” For the office, a plate of cookies or a fruit tray, set out in the breakroom, is perfect. For your book club or other circle of friends, agree on a maximum value for gifts. Do not go overboard, or you may set an uncomfortable standard. How will your out-of-work friend match that $70 pitcher you got her from the high end kitchen store? For the kids, set a budget and stick to it, or you will be setting a standard you’ll have to answer for in future.

The gifts most loved ones would really like from you are calls, your time, your companionship, and the sound of your laughter. Round up some friends for a concert, a special church service, or to meet at a restaurant or for drinks. Consider an impromptu New Year’s brunch, at your place or at a restaurant. Show them you care. Show them you want to be connected. Share your love and laughter.

This season, may you have the least possible holiday stress! Happiest holidays from UpBeat Living! And this year, may there be Peace on Earth.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is the author of the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition). Keep this book with you constantly, to quickly recharge your Peace Within, with quotes, photos, and poems that take you directly there! Kebba is a corporate stress management trainer, and she also has a holistic healing practice.

Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). ● Enjoyed this post? Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column! You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

Are you over-Santa’d? Do you see far too many of those white-bearded guys with red suits, in commercials, movies, and TV shows? Meteorologists on many TV stations even pretend to track Santa as he travels the globe, supposedly delivering gifts to all good people. His image may have come to us culturally from the Danish “nisse” tradition: little helpful people with peaked red hats. But the Coca-Cola company created the current image of Santa—red suit, white trim, white beard, black boots, and rosy cheeks–and his cultural presence is now everywhere in the US and many other countries.

If you are a Christian, you may be truly baffled as to why anyone would tell the Santa myth to their kids. What a lot of fuss to keep up with this cultural setup, when the reason for the season is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I know, Jesus was born in the Spring, but this is the time of year when we celebrate His birth, so stick with me for another minute.

So what can you do about Santa saturation? Insulate yourself! Choose your own Santa-free music, and play it, at home, in the car, and through your earbuds. Air only your preferred Santa-free movies, and don’t go caroling except with groups that leave out the Santa songs. Politely decline! Stay out of the malls until after December 26th, doing all your ordering online, or next year, before about December 1st.

The worst anti-Christian message of the Santa myth is that Santa is in charge of managing your kids, not you, the parent. Does this sound familiar: “[H]e knows if you’ve been sleeping. He knows if you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for Goodness’ sake!” Wait, isn’t that God? So parents who teach their kids to be good, so that Santa will bring them gifts, are handing off their parenting to Santa! Hello? Does this make sense? Can we just step back and take a fresh look at this whole Santa thing? The presents are from loved ones, the late-night cookies are eaten by the parents who’ve stayed up late wrapping gifts, and the tree was decorated entirely by people who care and who the kids know.

So if you’re Christian to some degree, let’s sing a round of “It came upon a midnight clear” and then a round of “Oh little town of Bethlehem.” Let’s thank God for those precious children and the one baby whose birth we celebrate on Christmas. Thank God for all the good in your life and all the good to come. Let Santa be completely on his own this Christmas.

Happiest holidays from UpBeat Living! And this year, may there be Peace on Earth.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is the author of the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition). Keep this book with you constantly, to quickly recharge your Peace Within, with quotes, photos, and poems that take you directly there! Kebba is a corporate stress management trainer, and she also has a holistic healing practice.

Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). ● Enjoyed this post? Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column! You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

Do you ever catch yourself assuming something not in evidence? Yesterday, I was going over some details of a column with a colleague I was going to quote. I described the circular communion rail in Fr. Jim Clark’s church, assuming it had become circular during a recent massive remodel of the east end of the sanctuary. Fr. Jim kindly brought me up to speed, letting me know that the circular design has been in place for many years. I was only in the church, St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, once before the remodel, and that was for a funeral. When I was there for the funeral, I was sad and crying and preoccupied with concern for the bereaved family. My brain simply did not record the fact that there was a circular communion rail. So, some years later, my brain simply made it up that the communion rail became circular during the remodel finished this year. In this case, no harm done.

Occasionally, someone’s brain fills in blanks with assumptions about us, where there are no facts, or the facts are the opposite of the resulting assumptions. In this kind of case, great harm can result. One year, I went to a New Year’s Eve singles party with a group of single friends. I drink very little, because alcohol makes me tired. So I had only had 2 sips of champagne at midnight, enjoying the ritual of welcoming in the New Year. Otherwise, I drank water all evening; we also danced for hours. I felt great. One friend got so drunk that at 12:15 am, the rest of us, all 6, walked her to her car and repeatedly offered, in different ways, to drive her home. Oddly, the drunk friend kept inquiring if each of us was okay to drive. In the course of our extended conversation, trying to convince her to let us drive her home, she turned her concern to me; I replied that, no, I was fine, I had had only had 2 sips of champagne. The next day, I received a 6-minute voicemail from the previous night’s drunk friend, condemning me for drinking so heavily! In serious and angry tones, her rant let me know how low a human I was. She said if I wanted to abuse my body by drinking heavily and hurting my brain and liver, that was one thing. However, she said- now in passionately angry tones- that if I wanted to drink heavily like that and then drive, that was another thing and inexcusable behavior! I tried to talk with her, but she was completely committed to the idea that I was the drunk and dangerous one. I gave up my friendship with her. Several years later, she decided I had gotten over my Problem and let me know she had forgiven me! I still avoid her. Her assumptions consumed our relationship.

What do you believe about people and situations? How much of your belief system about each friend or colleague is based on fact, and how much on imagination? If you are disturbed by someone’s behavior, is your discomfort based on actual interaction? Or is it based on your ideas about why they said and did what they said and did? When you are frustrated by a situation, try writing down what you actually know, what you guess, and what came from rumors. Eliminate the conjecture for a clearer picture, and try starting fresh. Will you let assuming consume you? It’s up to you.

In the USA, “The Holidays” broadly means the entire season from before Thanksgiving to after Christmas and New Year’s Day. This season sweeps through Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, HumanLight, and Ramadan, with Boxing Day on December 26th. This year, The Holidays seemed to start before Halloween: I saw my first red- and green-labeled carton of eggnog around October 25. In this country’s popular culture, The Holidays are supposed to be a happy, bustling time when people love to buy gifts, decorate seasonally, have large gatherings, play and sing seasonal music, and eat and drink copious quantities of rich and sweet foods. Yet many feel mildly- to completely stressed during this time. If you are one of those who get stressed, these tips are for you.

First, simplify. It’s important to realize The Holiday Season now reaches over almost a 3-month period, so you need a strategy other than trying to ignore it. What plan have you used for previous holiday seasons? Write down everything you usually expect from yourself, such as: buy seasonal candy, put it in seasonal candy dishes in home and office, buy cards and mail, buy gifts for 10 relatives and take or ship, attend 4 parties with special appetizers you made, attend 2 holiday concerts or dance performances, attend 2 on-holiday family dinners, take the kids for a carriage ride around Kierland or Central Park, take holiday photos, post all those activities on FaceBook, feed the homeless at St. Vincent de Paul on Christmas Day, buy larger pants in New Year’s sales. Whew! Did you feel energized, or did you feel tired and worn after reading this list? Now that you have written it all down, try cutting those expectations and events by half. Now order the gifts and have them shipped. Use a card service to get the cards out, or email your good wishes, or skip the cards altogether this year. Take the photos with your phone or your kid’s phone, and post them and your holiday wishes on FaceBook.

Second, take timeouts. Even if you cut your expectations of yourself, there is a lot of busy activity around you, wherever you go. It’s a very stimulating time of year, and now it’s a quarter of the year. It’s like the anti-vacation. So you need microvacations to see you through. Take quiet moments in a still area of your home. Exhale and drop your shoulders, imagining quiet energy moving from your head down to your toes; picture your cells holding onto that quiet. If you enjoy praying or meditating, take time for those regularly, giving them your full attention. If you like to read fiction, take two hours at a time to get totally involved in a good novel. Practice totally letting go of the hustle and bustle around you.

Third, give your body extra support. Drink extra water between holiday beverages. Eat fresh fruit, vegetables, and lean protein whenever you have the option; these will strengthen you between sweet and rich holiday meals. Add ginger to your chicken soup to counter the effects of sugar. If you can nap, take naps. Different lengths of naps work for different people, but research has shown that naps as short as 20 minutes can totally refresh you. Create time to walk, hike, or work out, to flush the toxins and clear your mind.

Fourth, enjoy what nurtures you. Whatever there is about The Holidays that fills you, uplifts you, or restores you, keep those pieces. If spending a day with Grandma makes you feel great, be sure to spend a day with Grandma. If Skyping with your niece or grandchild leaves you joyful all day, make time to be fully present for that. If walking alone in the snow, or attending Midnight Mass, or journaling, or practicing your guitar, leaves you feeling calm and happy, make those priorities.

Take these tips to heart, and you will beat stress during The Holidays. Remember, it’s your life, and you are always at choice. Will you choose to take care of yourself during this season? It’s up to you.

As you read this, in the U.S., the Holiday ball is rolling fast. Warehouse stores have almost sold out of Christmas décor, themed candy, and gift baskets. Images of Santa are plastered everywhere, and shopping districts are awash in red and green. Holiday music is playing frantically in stores and mall parking lots, other than on Sunday mornings. Decorated trees have sprouted everywhere, including that white one hanging upside down in the famous gallery store. Poinsettias rim every grocery display, and sugar is in the air, on the menu, and in most commercials. TV is showing endless specials and old movies on the cultural themes of the season. People are anxiously surfing the Web and surging through stores in search of the right gifts. If you love these sights and sounds, by all means, hustle with the bustle and have a great time. Stand in line for that spiral-cut smoked ham, and send your friends handmade holiday greeting cards and cookies. The rest of us admire you!

However, if you are overwhelmed by all the commercial holiday stuff, here’s a radical suggestion: do it “lite”! Stop, right now, and exhale! Why not create your own Happy (Lite) Holidays? Are you an atheist, a Christian turned off by Santa, an adherent of another faith turned off by Santa, or simply a no-commercial-hubbub person? Then try these simple tips:

1. Keep it light. Send some gifts and cards with minimum effort, and get it done just as fast and early as possible. Or just send a holiday email and make a few calls. Let them know you care.

2. Stay out of the way of the rolling Holiday ball. Celebrate with your spouse and loved ones, at home, with what you know you enjoy. Stock up on food, music, and movies that have nothing to do with Santa, or everything to do with your Holy Days. Plan to take care of an unfinished creative project, or do that online research you never have time for. Christians, sift the church calendars for Santa-free Christmas concerts and pageants. Go sing in a “Messiah” sing-along. You know how to celebrate the reason for the season.

3. Eat half the sugar and drink twice the water. Sounds too simple, but this will help keep your mind calm, your metabolism strong, your skin smooth, and your waistline slim. You will get along better with everyone and enjoy every day more.

You can choose to be happy and in deep satisfaction, anywhere, anytime. Choose these now. And whatever your background, may your days be merry and bright.