11 TV Kids Who Will Definitely Need A Good Therapist

I’m convinced that most of the shows that have children as main characters have them there just to scar the heck out of them. Saddle them with adults who have questionable parenting skills? Yes, please! Set them down gingerly in the middle of absolute chaos? Why, of course! What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, they’ll grow up and need to keep the best therapist in town on retainer, you say? Well, that’s not so bad. They’ll just have to deal with being emotionally scarred by their childhood drama, no biggie. It’s no biggie, right?? Well, let’s just go on ahead and ask these 11 TV kids who are absolutely going to be scarred for life.

Why They’ll Be Scarred: Poor Sally, man. She has a better chance of waking up to an asteroid cuddling with her in bed than she does not waking up to a life-altering crisis. She’s been dealing with all of this like a champ since she was a tiny little kid with a distracting lisp. And don’t even get me started on that time she walked in on her step-grandma and her dad’s business partner cheating on their spouses together. Or that other time she walked in on her dad cheating on her step-mom with his best friend’s wife. Just so much walking in.

Why They’ll Be Scarred: Carl has a laundry list of murders he’s witnessed and is even a murderer in his own right. Granted, his world is infested with zombies, so that’s already scarring by itself. But the worst thing was when he witnessed the death of his own mother, Lori, because the only thing that I can think of that is worse than a dead parent is watching them die.

Why They’ll Be Scarred: First of all, this kid doesn’t age, which is a stressful problem to deal with. And, on top of having to deal with the fact that his voice will never drop, his dad chokes him every hour on the hour. What a life.

Why They’ll Be Scarred: Not only will she probably be hit with a nice case of Middle Child Syndrome, but she also grew up in one of the most incompetent –but clean!– households. Joey was whatever is worse than a man-child, Uncle Jesse had no plans to ever move out (he seriously started a family and did not budge), and Danny wasn’t so hot in the dad department. “How rude,” more like “how much will this therapy session cost?”

Why They’ll Be Scarred: Kendall’s never known anything except a very public Hollywood life under the roof of Krisbot. She doesn’t hide the fact that she wishes she had more privacy, which is sad, because that’s not an option when you’re related to a Kardashian. Also, her fake boyfriend may have cheated on her. So, there’s that.