5 Things NOT To Get Mom For Mother’s Day

It's the last minute, and you are shopping for Mom. What do you get the woman that gave birth to you, the woman that listened to you say how other Mom's were better, who did your laundry, cooked your food, and cleaned your room for years?

Well, I don't know your Mom! I do know 5 things not to get her.

5. A Go-Girl. This is an apparatus women can use to pee standing up. Terrible idea, even though when the family goes camping Dad can pick a tree, most Moms have class and pick a nice area to take a toilet paper roll and a squat.

4. Cougar Shirt-You want to tell Mom she's still got it. This is not the way! Do you really want the image of your Mom in a low cut shirt, push up bra, mini skirt, lipstick, and playing pool with the boys bending over to give them a view. UGH!! My eyes just rolled into the back of my head......NO! You don't think your mom is a cougar, give her a pink sweatshirt (make her hip, get one with a hoodie) that says MOM.

3. Apron-You had the best of intentions, yes. And it's very useful. But the implied message is: "Now get to work in the kitchen and make me a pie, I'm lazy." Not even one that says world's best Mom would work.

2. A Snake-Ok so it looks cool, makes a great sound, eats mice, and you loved that one in Jungle Book. NOT, a good gift! If you want to get Mom a pet, get her one that will keep her safe and that she can dress in a funny sweater every once in a while, like a dog or cat. Get her a snake and the snake might eat her. Mom loses her keys, just think if she loses the snake?

1. A Gun-This is the worst idea because Mom has a tough time with the remote and setting her dvr machine, now you are going to give her a gun to play with. I know you want her to be safe and be able to defend herself when an intruder comes, this is not the answer. She may just shoot you for giving it to her. Let me put this in your head, Mom keeps everything clean, and that includes the gun. She might shoot the dog while cleaning it on her lap, or she will put it in the dishwasher. Imagine Dad opening the dishwasher after it's been cleaned, that'll teach him to help around the house.