Monday, March 26, 2012

Quirky Country Music

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By
Diane Forrest

When
I was younger I lived in the Mississippi Delta.
We were about an hour from Memphis Tennessee, and we listened to the
Disco Duck on the Memphis radio station.
Well, all the "cool" kids did at least. There was a family who lived a few houses
down from us, and they listened to Country Music!!! Ohhh the horrors! You would have thought they were a family of
aliens from another planet. Since they
were my neighbors, I did my best to be neighborly to them, but secretly I
wished their radio would break.

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As
the years went by the more I started listening to country music. Not the Hee Haw kind of songs like Pickin’
and Grinnin’, but music by Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks, and, Toby Keith, or what
I like to call the New Country. This
music is great for so many reasons, but the main ones are, they don't bust your
ear drums, and you can actually understand the words and they all tell a story,
much like things that happen in your own life.

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There
are still some Hee Haw songs out there, like She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy, so
today is a holiday in recognition of all those Quirky Country Music songs. Some of the top quirky song titles include:

I
Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

I
Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger

I
Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Walk
Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In

How
Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My
Life?

My
John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

I've
Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See
Through You

You
Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life

I've
Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

I
Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart

Get
Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed

Your
Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns

I
Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

You're
a Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch

My
Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

If
Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure

Make
Me Late For Work Today

How
Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

I
Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

All
I Want From You (Is Away)

I'll
Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

If
You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

Don't
Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You

How
Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

She's
Actin' Single I'm Drinkin' Doubles

I
Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

If
My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

Who's
Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?

She
Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas

If
Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

Thanks
To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You

They
May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out

If I
Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It

You're
The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

I
Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me

Did
I Shave my Legs for This?

I'm
The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

If
You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will

Hold
On To Your Men Cause She's Single Again

She
Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft

You're
Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation

You
Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

I
Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You

She
Feels Like A New Man Tonight

At
the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump

Get
Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye

She
Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

If
Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You

When
You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

Velcro
Arms, Teflon Heart

Mama
Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

She
Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

Guess
My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

I
May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up

If
You Can't Bite, Don't Growl

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These
songs are not only funny and catchy, but they also make us realize that we can
laugh and enjoy music, and we don’t have to take things so serious all the
time. Today is Quirky Country Music Day,
so turn the radio on your local country music station, and have fun.

For
more quirky country songs check out this site: http://www.funny2.com/songs.htm