Just sitting here working on the IRC project (well trying to, socket programming is going slower than I had hoped) and started thinking about how everything has played out this year on A.cc for me. I left IRC because I felt, due to my whining and complaining, that I was no longer wanted there and haven't been back. On A.cc several have flat out admitted they blocked my posts, been capped for a few months now due to an incident. 11 years of being harmless to get capped for one minor incident has made me start wondering if I'm no longer welcome here. Because of my grating personality, do I need to move on and leave A.cc?

"Can't a man even talk to himself without being interrupted?" -Krull(1983)"Through vengence I was born. Through war I was trained. Through love I was found. Through death I was released. Through release I was given a purpose." -- Specter Phoenix"Programming == AWESOME the rest is just tools to accomplish it."END OF LINE

I just think he shouldn't spend too much time thinking about it and should just do it. Specter has left the community so many times already, it just doesn't feel remarkable anymore.

The times I left before were due to me being depressed and feeling lost in regards to programming. This time I'm neither as I'm currently working on the aspects to make an IRC client.

Quote:

So yeah... get out, come back in a few months/years and let the Specter Phoenix get reborn from the ashes again, eh?

I'm not talking about months/years, I mean permanently. No reborn from ashes this time. I just figure, if my assumption is right and I'm no longer welcome here, I might as well leave, but I just wanted to make sure it isn't just my imagination.

I'm positive I'm not wanted on IRC (that was made plainly obvious) and I left. Just occurred to me, that the same people are in the A.cc community too, so I'm probably not wanted here either. If this is the case, I'll bow out.

"Can't a man even talk to himself without being interrupted?" -Krull(1983)"Through vengence I was born. Through war I was trained. Through love I was found. Through death I was released. Through release I was given a purpose." -- Specter Phoenix"Programming == AWESOME the rest is just tools to accomplish it."END OF LINE

Bear in mind you do not have permission from King Piccolo to depart.In the in the event you do leave with out a signed waver from the King , you will be severely punished to the extent no amount of phoenix-downs would rebirth you.

@Specter, I don't know you but personally I don't think you can worry about what the other people think of you. It's important to have opinions and conviction so as long as it's done in a somewhat polite way. If you feel you want to change how you handle certain situations then focus on that and stick around. People can change, and those who don't believe that and view you in only a certain way can be left behind. Haters going to hate as they say. Don't event worry about it, and just code.

As I'm sure you're aware, a large aspect of depression is poor self-image and the associated misguided thoughts about oneself that this causes.

These thought patterns seem to be prevalent here. I recall when you left the IRC channel, as at the time I had my IRC client going 24/7. I even distinctly remember reading back through some of the logs to see at the time what you perceived as definitely not being wanted. While your behaviour certainly was annoying some people, I never found any comments that justified such claims.

There's certainly even less animosity here on the forums. If you perceive there to be, then I think it's mostly in your own head, and it's something you may want to work on in your own time.

When I first came here in 2001 I was a bit of a hotshot rookie, always thinking I knew the right answer to everything and arguing with people who were probably more right than I was.

Since then, I leave without warning when I stop programming in Allegro and come back without warning when I get back into it... though with A5 being as useful as it is I probably won't be going anywhere again anytime soon.

Granted, I do still get into non-heated arguements from time to time but they never get personal or anything.

I'm not saying my situation is similar to yours, (heck, I have no idea what went on with you and why you're making this decision), but what I'm saying is that I look at you and see another Allegro programmer, sticking around to give advice and ramble about whatever as every other Allegro programmer tends to do. So long as you continue to use Allegro, you're gonna want to stick around and screw anyone who wants to hold a grudge against you; that's their problem.

People who actually leave -- just leave without posting about it. One day it occurs to you that you haven't seen so-and-so for a few weeks or months. This is a solicitation for comfort or something.

“Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck.”

You're not that bad. If you need to, take a(nother) temporary leave for a while and come back. I think the people who want to see you gone may be gone themselves if this thread is anything to go by. Or they just ignore your posts and don't care what you do.

---Febreze (and other air fresheners actually) is just below perfumes/colognes, and that's just below dead skunks in terms of smells that offend my nose.MiquelFire.red | +MeWindows 8 is a toned, stylish, polished professional athlete. But it’s wearing clown makeup, and that creates a serious image problem. ~PCWorld Article

Oohhh I remember when I saw this forum for the first time... I was using a black and white monitor, and my CPU consumed a lot of oil... Thomas was a baby, and Arthur didn't know how to spell his own last name. Matthew was all the time but with smaller glasses and more innocent and Peter was just dreaming about Allegro 5.2 and Neil about creating its own version of Pacman... Pacman Deluxe. And Edgar was saying all the time, "when I grow up I want to design the GUI for Windows 8" and everyone was like "Windows 8? What the fuck is that?" and Edgar "It's going to be a new operating system which will support touch screen monitors and you won't need the mouse" I remember that when he get out of the mental hospital for saying such stupid things, he just started to work in a GUI for Allegro 0.1...

I recall when you left the IRC channel, as at the time I had my IRC client going 24/7. I even distinctly remember reading back through some of the logs to see at the time what you perceived as definitely not being wanted. While your behaviour certainly was annoying some people, I never found any comments that justified such claims.

Then you must not have been on the night I left for good as I recall a few telling me to "shut the fuck up and leave" because they were tired of my whining and complaining. I'd call that not wanting me around as I don't normally use that language when I want someone around. Which is why I asked, if the sentiment was the same at A.cc then I would just do what everyone wanted and leave. I don't want to, but I don't want to be part of a forum where my personality is so grating that everyone would rather have me gone.

"Can't a man even talk to himself without being interrupted?" -Krull(1983)"Through vengence I was born. Through war I was trained. Through love I was found. Through death I was released. Through release I was given a purpose." -- Specter Phoenix"Programming == AWESOME the rest is just tools to accomplish it."END OF LINE

People change a lot. I feel that myself, I have lost a lot of idealism and many times what once was perfectly clear to me turned out not to be as easy as I thought. Sometimes life can be really depressing and the more you understand the more you are overwhelmed. For now, I am convinced: You can't judge and do the objectively right thing for a specific case, to some extent there is always a risk you're fatally wrong. Just pick yourself a few goals that harmonize with your conscience for orientation and go after them.

So if you ask me, if you enjoy that community and find yourself coming back here often and reading posts, then stay here. At worst, you're wrong. So?