My wonderful friend Phoo-d wrote this post recently about her adventures in rendering lard from local pigs. Imagine my delight when, while futzing around on Facebook, I got the following IM: "Hey, any interest in some homemade hog fat?"

The thrill, my friends. The thrill.

A few days later, this arrived on my doorstep. I was seriously blissed out.

By the time hubs hit the door at 6 o'clock, I'd worked myself into a froth. "Honey!! Lookee what I got!" I crowed, waving the package around. "This is the coolest thing I've ever gotten in the mail. Ev-er!" I might have even done a celebratory version of the Yummy Dance.

He raised a suspicious eyebrow. "What. Is. That?"

"Homemade hog fat, Dude! I got lard in the mail! Isn't that awesome?" By this time, the girls had gotten wind of my enthusiasm and were now bouncing off the walls with me, singing "hog fat/hog fat/we got some hog fat..."

He reached for a bottle of wine and poured himself a sturdy glass. "Only you," he said, shaking his head and retreating down to the man-cave.

Hmph. Some people don't know awesomeness when they see it. I was stoked.

But then came the realization that homemade lard=baking. I emailed my friend Phoo-d in a bit of panic.

"I've never made pie crust before. Help! This has 'fuck-up' written all over it."

Luckily, Phoo-d has a clear head and walked me through the process. "It's honestly not that hard," she said.

Riiiight.

I stacked the deck a little. I consulted Cook's Illustrated and found their Best Recipe for pie dough. I also invited Mama over; she spent many a long North Dakota winter wrestling pastry dough. She knows what she's doing. With Cook's Illustrated, Mama, and Phoo-d's generous offer of "call me if you get into trouble," I was ready.

The hardest part was figuring out what kind of pie to make. Shameful admission: I don't really like pie. My husband doesn't really like pie either, except for pecan. I was not going to waste my pie-making efforts on an audience who doesn't really appreciate pie.

Luckily, there just so happens to be someone in my life who loves pie.

Daddy's favorite pie is cherry. Alas, it's totally not cherry season. But apples? We've got them in spades, so apple it was.

Mama and I donned our aprons, rolled up our sleeves and dove into the world of pastry dough. I think we did just fine.

We did so fine, in fact, that we also made quiche. I don't do pie, but I love me some quiche. This made a light and satisfying dinner when paired with a glass of wine and a crisp green salad. And yes, my man does eat quiche.

Mix flour, salt and sugar in food processor fitted with steel blade. Scatter butter pieces over flour mixture, tossing to coat butter with a little of the flour. Cut butter into flour with five 1-second pulses. Add shortening and continue cutting until flour is pale yellow and resembles coarse cornmeal, with butter bits no larger than small peas, about four more 1-second pulses. Turn mixture into medium bowl.

Sprinkle 6 tablespoons ice water over mixture. With blade of rubber spatula, use folding motion to mix. Press down on dough with broad side of spatula until dough sticks together, adding up to 2 tablespoons more ice water if dough does not hold together.

Divide dough into two balls and flatten each into 4-inch wide disks. Dust disks lightly with flour, wrap each in plastic, and refrigerate at least 30 minutes, or up to 2 days, before rolling.

Roll out second dough disk and place over filling. Trim top and bottom edges to to 1/2-inch beyond pan lip. Tuck this rim of dough underneath itself so the folded edge is flush with pan lip. Flute edging or press with fork tines to seal. Cut four slits on dough top. If dough is very soft, place in the freezer for 10 minutes. Brush egg white over top of crust and sprinkle with 1 tablespoon sugar.

Bake until top crust is golden, about 25 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 375 degrees; continue baking until juices bubble and pie is golden brown, 30 to 35 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 425. Prick the crust all over with the tines of a fork. Line crust with tin foil and weight down with rice or dried beans. Bake 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and carefully remove the weight and foil; turn the oven down to 325.

Combine eggs, cheese, liquid, seasonings and vegetables and beat until well blended.

Place the baked crust on a baking sheet. Pour the egg mixture into the crust, right to the top. Carefully transfer the baking sheet to the oven and bake 30 to 40 minutes, until the mixture is set but is still moist; it should still jiggle just a little in the middle. Cool on a rack and serve warm or at room temperature.

Good work girlie! Getting your ma on board was a good idea - mum's are so wise with these things! And now you'll probably be able to do it on your own having been filled with confidence of this success?! :) xxx Did your dad enjoy the pie?!

I would have been absolutely estatic to have received hog fat in the mail. I can totally imagine your delight.I can't bake to save my life! It has something to do with following rules too. :-) I love pie and I love quiche. Your quiche looks heavenly. No doubt that hog fat really makes a difference.

They look gorgeous, Kitch, but as good as they look, I would have to stay away: lard in pie crust is the curse of the vegetarian (especially a vegetarian keeping a kosher kitchen for her husband's sake).

How I moped this summer when I brought a perfect Amish raspberry pie home from the Farmer's Market last summer only to discover that there was lard in the crust. Sadness.

Wow! Three recipes in one post - you're on a roll! But I have to admit, while I love pie, I've never made my own crust. My sister brings her Cuisinart every time she visits because (horror of horrors!) I buy refrigerated pie dough and she refuses. And then, she makes her own crust (delicious) but won't give me the recipe until I get my own food processor. I'm doomed!

Congrats on your lard acquisition AND the pie baking. Lard makes absolutely, positively the BEST crust. My grandmother used it all the time. I use part criso, part butter and that makes a great crust too....but lard is the fat of choice.

Tears of laughter are rolling down my face. Who knew lard could be so entertaining. Now I realize why people rave about your blog. Oh, and thanks for the recipe. I'm like Jane, I buy my crusts, but make the rest from scratch. Does that count? That's as domestic as I care to be with pies!

I'm seriously impressed! Bill would love you forever if you fed him anything piggy - pie especially. So you'll be all set for making an authentic English Christmas pudding made with beef suet, which seemed to put all my readers right off. I'm not sure I believe 'light' and 'quiche' rightly fit in the same sentence, but salad quiche and wine sounds like my idea of heaven. Can we come live with you?

First of all, the pies look AMAZING. I am jealous because I suck the big one when it comes to making crust. Not to burst your bubble, but did you know you could buy lard at the grocery store? Not that I didn't love the picture you painted of the girls jumping up and down and singing the hog fat song. But you can buy it local without going through the internet...or at least you can here in Kansas. Maybe it's a Kansas thing. Anyway...great job!

Did you just use the words "light and satisfying" and "hog lard" in the same post, TKW? I just wanna check, okay? Cause hog lard sounds like maybe we're going to have to go back to the Shrink My Ass Month thingy.

Love the picture of your dad. Very funny. Of course he's wearing a Bears jersey!

J. Harker--"Some people in the world are even weirder than we are..." Ahem. I resemble that remark.

And true, the quiche wasn't "light" in calories, but it was in texture. You guys wouldn't BELIEVE the difference the lard made. The crust was so flaky that it shattered if you even tapped it with a fork. Bliss! Mama deemed it the best crust she'd ever eaten.

As for how I'm going to use the rest of my precious hog fat? You will just have to wait! :)

It's so interesting that you cook, but don't bake. My husband is the cook around here, and I'm the baker. Any time I want cookies, brownies, cake, and he tries to help, he screws it up. Cooking is about instincts, and baking, as you said, is about rules. I guess I'm a rules girl, cause I sure can't cook very well. (Though I'm trying, and one day, I'm planning to get good at it.)

The hog fat song is awesome, and feels like it should have been in an old Ren & Stimpy cartoon (they did make a fake beef tallow commercial if I recall--why not lard too?). The results look utterly fabulous here, and I'm so glad you had pie lovers nearby who could enjoy the fruits of your labors. ;-)

I have ALWAYS wondered what lard looks like. We never had any on hand when I was a kid -- thank you for the photos! Now I at least know what color it is: amazingly snowy white. Crisco, you've got nothin' on this stuff.

First time stopping by! I've seen your name on all sorts of my favourite blogs and I decided it was high time :-) So glad I did because I LOVE pie and I LOVE quiche. Did you know that pie crust is harder to roll when you are pregnant? It was for me and apparently it has to do with the acidity of our fingers. Who knows, probably a on old wive's tale, but a fun quirk I thought I'd share.

At any rate, I wish I'd come to dinner. Since I didn't, I'll make sure to come back to your blog. I'm looking forward to more.

Oh how I would love to get me some lard in the mail! That is fantastic! and the silver package it came in makes it seem like some top secret NASA experiment! Now that I think about it, I think I'd rather get the pie in the mail instead of the lard... so send some over!

Today, I am finally cleaning up my google reader. It's chock full of feeds I've been too busy to read. This story made me laugh. I saw Phoo-D's post on making lard. No way could I do that! I'm married to a mid-western dude who is putty in my hands if I made pie. Not any pie. Berry pie. I have to make one, today, since he fixed my broken oven. Too funny, how you did it. It looks great. BTW, you didn't see America's Test Kitchen (also Cook's Illustrated's company) vodka pie crust recipe?! It works great!