In the World of Dating, Courtship, Attraction, Seduction, Love, and Relationships, a common phrase exists: “Nice Guys/Girls Finish Last.” This mentality is also known as the Nice Guy/Girl Syndrome.

Search Nice Guy Syndrome on Urban Dictionary

So, let’s tackle the dilemma of “Nice People” to arrive at the conclusion of whether it’s true or false. What does that “Nice” mean? Firstly, nice, alone can be vague without adjectives and details to describe what is nice.

Check NO! The first type of “Nice” is a euphemism for neediness, overly insecure, weak, having ulterior motives/agendas, being passive or passive-aggressive, or overly aggressive, entitlement mentality which aren’t desirable traits for being dating, courting, relationship material. Thus, “Nice” is NOT really Nice when used to describe what one really means. Example of “Nice”: Attempt to buy another’s affection through gifts, presents, superficial materials, etc.

“Being your true authentic self is your most attractive self. Us being us is our real attractive self. In fact, us being real, us being authentic is the only truly seductive thing there is. Honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.” -Zan Perrion

Check Yes! The second type of Nice (aka. The Good) means being Nice without any ulterior motives/agendas. In other words, being nice without expecting anything else in return (also known as. Old school Chivalry) is what being Nice truly is. Example of The Genuine Nice: Gets to know a potential suitor (person one is interested in, attracted to, respects and values).

In order to be in a successful loving and mature relationship with others, one must love themselves entirely including their imperfections. Embrace Yourself through Complete Honesty, Sincerity, and Authenticity!

Self-Love, Self-Respect, Knowing and Applying one’s Self-Worth through Beliefs, Values, and Actions are very important in being a Man or Woman, Leader, and most importantly, a human being that can be an optimistic role model.

The Nice can date, court, attract, and seduce the one he or she is interested in, attracted to, values, and respects. However, being genuinely nice is NOT enough. People, Men or Women of all Sexual Orientations and other backgrounds, want their partner, lover, significant other, close friend to be a supporter and nurturer in the relationships they have with each other. Desirable traits in friendships, romantic relationships and of other types includes: Confidence, Assertiveness, Gentleness, Sensitivity, Charisma, Clean Humour, Maturity, Morals, Ethics, Passion, Determination, Personal/Social Competence, Strength, Courage, Ambition, Experience, Wisdom, Intelligence, Altruism, and so forth.

To become really successful in life in all aspects, communication, social, leadership and motivational skills while living a valuable principled life is a must. So, To Be Interesting, Be Interested!

“Be a man of value rather than a man of success.” –Albert Einstein

Life is too short as the saying goes. Also, there’s no right time. Make time and live life to the fullest in the moment as if there’s no tomorrow. Carpe Diem and Create The Opportunities through Holistic and Interdisciplinary Approaches of Altruism! Say what you really feel and do what you truly feel! Say more than just Hello to the Person you not only are attracted to, interested in or desire, however, more importantly to the one that you value, respect, and love passionately by not only words since actions demonstrate purpose and meaning. Be Your Best Self!

Too often in society and mainstream media, we hear phrases such as: Boys will be Boys, Boys and Men do NOT cry, Males don’t express themselves, Expressive Men are cowards and not masculine, Men are supposed to be aggressive, muscular, athletic and so forth. You get the point. Stereotypes and Generalizations are clearly prevalent here under lack of critical thinking and not realizing or acknowledging that people of the same background can be different.

To respond and to know that those absurd words involves ridiculous thinking and full of ignorance and sometimes arrogance, forget the lies.

Just like many things and other beings, Men come in all sizes, shapes, forms, and from all diverse backgrounds. Expressive Men have feminine traits while being masculine just as those with other sexual orientations besides being heterosexual are men and masculine too. Non-muscular, athletic, sad, crying men are masculine men.

Yoda from Star Wars once said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.”

External Factors: Society and Media continue to brainwash us with misconceptions, stereotypes, generalizations, and deception that people are to labeled as objects and seen as if they are all the same apples. In reality, some are apples while others can be sweet apples, juicy oranges, tropical mango, shining bananas, etc. Painting everybody as the same picture is intellectually, ethically, and morally unsound. Every Single Individual is UNIQUE in their own way both naturally and through the journey of nurture, personal/social/professional growth! 🙂 Believe It, Practice It, and Own It! Empower and Transform Yourself Into Your Best Self for the right reasons!

To Empower Yourself and Others is to be AUTHENTIC by accepting your true emotions whether you may be sad, angry, happy, perplexed, flabbergasted, or disgusted. In other words, when one feels sad, be sad. When one feels angry, be angry. When one feels happy, be happy. So be Genuine, Sincere, and Authentic when expressing oneself alone or when one is with others.

To be feeling down, is more than okay to be sad, angry, and in tears, and vulnerable. Heck, as boys and men, after all, ARE HUMAN as well. We are HUMAN.

To suffer, to be vulnerable, to be impotent, is to be human who becomes a leader with the abilities to be courageous, have strength, and living a principled, ethical, moral, and fulfilling life.

VULNERABILITY = COURAGE and STRENGTH

As for Men and Women of all beings, each and every one of us, holds feminine and masculine personality traits which is taught in Family Studies 101. Also, we intuitively know that in our minds.

Question and Challenge some Assumptions in Social Norms, Taboos, Stereotypical Gender Roles

If a man is more feminine both in personality or looks, that doesn’t make him any less masculine. Heck, to be more feminine, in itself, takes Courage and Strength. Also, men that belong to other sexual orientation besides heterosexuality too, are masculine and men of Courage and Strength. Men who don’t fit the conventional profile of being masculine, are still men, masculine, and most importantly: Human Beings.

Through Value, Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion, Respect, and Integrity in Verbal and Nonverbal Communication we can practice and embody a life with Principles, Ethics, Morals, Empowerment and Authentic Transformation as Honest, Sincere, Trustworthy, Genuine Leaders.

List for Suggestions towards Empowerment and Transformation:

Self-Awareness, Affirmations (Positive Self Talk), Discipline, Mindfulness, Spiritual Journey, Meditation, Being Engaged in your Communities, Social Capital: Bonding (Similarities) and Bridging (Differences) with self and others, Tapping- Emotional Freedom Techniques, Talking Cure- venting/ranting with or to those that care about you and those whom you care about, Therapeutic Exercises/Counseling, Healthy Living: Health and Wellness- Mental Health, Nutrition and Exercise, Love, Complete Acceptance while simultaneously evolving oneself and helping others do the same. **Everybody has their own way of empowering and transforming themselves and others.** To find what works, go through series of trials and errors. One can mix these recommendations by using multiple of these techniques for relieving stress to empower and transform self and others. Exercising holistic and interdisciplinary approaches to relieve stress while going through the journey of transformation is beautiful.

In personality psychology, locus of control refers to the extent to which individuals believe they can control events affecting them. Understanding of the concept was developed by Julian B. Rotter in 1954, and has since become an aspect of personality studies. Essentially, the Locus of Control is about things one can control and others that are out of one’s control.

Please contact the Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation for further resources on therapeutic approaches to relieving stresses all the while being one’s best self! Email: themoralcompassofattraction@gmail.com or contact us through the FB Page.

Here’s my second article about the personal growth, relationships, and life coaching universe regarding those involved; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! Learn, Develop, and Strengthen Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence as a skill to enhance one’s leadership abilities throughout diverse parts of his or her’s life wherever people are involved. Utilize your best self and have fulfilling relationships with your families, relatives, friends, colleagues, associates, co-workers, loved ones and others. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/emotional-awareness-social-intelligence-wcz/

Since the main premise of my WordPress, Website and Social Media Page (FB) are about the personal growth and self help movement and internal empowerment as one of the objectives to evolve, this post will talk about its problems (dark side) and alternative measures (change).

Objective:

To discuss the Personal Growth or Dating/Relationship/Social Confidence [whatever one calls it] Coach Department (the good, the bad, and the ugly from different approaches of the systematic approach) due its recent epidemic of moral dilemmas over the almost last decade after the book was published, revealing this universe from underground to mainstream media and the world.

So, what, how, and why this part of Life Coaching became to be was initially to help others who lack emotional awareness, social intelligence (education), fulfillment in dating and relationships (romantic, sexual, platonic, professional, and other types) or already have those yet want more than that by providing them with evolved social skills, progressive principles/philosophies, fresh perspectives (motivation/inspiration) in diverse contexts with different people. Depending on who and what organization provides the services and goods through their modus operandi (method of operation) and their motives (reasoning), the genuine teachings still live on. Otherwise, there’s those that changed somewhere throughout the journey for the worse, not better or had ulterior motives (agenda[s]) to begin with through manipulation and superficiality for merely promiscuity, sex, misguided fetishes, greed, and money. Nature vs. Nurture in the regard that one improves internally, changes positively or let’s external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.

Nature vs. Nurture in the regard that one improves internally, changes positively or let’s external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.

Some selectively choose their advice whether the instructor is ultimately, the good, the bad, or the ugly as one can learn from everybody.

For Better or For Worse- Mentalities, Character, Beliefs

The Bad and The Ugly

Let’s begin with the bad and the ugly (dark side) in correlation with the types of mentalities that exist in those that initially had genuine reasons or began with those and continued towards that dark path. There’s those that believe to their very core that they have a sense of entitlement to fulfill their needs, desires, agenda despite the frame causing and affecting more harm than good. The Entitled believe a potential mate or people they interact with that one is attracted to is a consolation prize which then treats others on a pedestal and as an object through their verbal and nonverbal communication signals. Then there’s The Socially Deviant who take high risk, low reward by having the entitlement mentality through attempting creepy, deviant, and/or sometimes, potentially criminal behaviour. On the other hand, there’s those whom merely sit around a screen and have all the theories, tactics, strategies yet they don’t apply themselves and troll online/offline. Another example are those that have read or obtained knowledge on the science of attraction, such as: evolutionary biology, sexuality, social sciences, humanities, health sciences, etc. mix those fields with unsound/unproved theories and applications to the students that take their seminars. Ultimately, they mix in the lie with the truth or the truth with the misleading guidelines. What’s common too, is those that desire money and rather than teaching, they commit fraud and other deceptive behaviours behind the scenes.

Lesson: Don’t treat yourself and others as a Prize to Win. Embrace and Love Everybody including oneself.

The Golden Rule (Rule of Thumb): Treat Others with Respect, Honesty, Integrity, and Share High Social Value with Authenticity.

The Systematic Approaches and Good Individuals: Mindset, Character, Beliefs

As for the good, the systems and the communities can be good, bad, ugly or neutral unless they are in itself created and used for evil. Systems, Approaches, People in of itself and themselves that have created programs through ethics and morals do exist and prosper. Examples: Those that are Shy Boys/Girls, Good Guys/Girls, or Intellectuals/Educated Professionals that want and need to learn Social Confidence and Skills in Human Interactions. Also, includes those that have Social Anxiety and desire to try personal growth programs.

Results may vary.

Ultimately, The Good Guys and Girls Finish First! 😉

Academic Review

“As to the methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Check out the study conducted on this industry and its ethics by the University of Oxford, Department of Experimental Psychology. The Dating Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Emerging Science of Human Courtship http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP10899909.pdf

“[Pick-up] is not inherently good or bad. It’s like a hammer. A hammer can be used to drive a nail into a piece of wood and build a beautiful house one day or it can be used to bust someone’s kneecap. It’s all about the ethics of how you use it.” -Arden Leigh

Using Deductive Reasoning for Concrete Knowledge and Sound Wisdom

In conclusion, the guidelines provided by such professionals to another can be used for good or bad depending on one’s incentives and actions. Thus, not everybody is the same. The actions of some ‘bad apples’ don’t reflect those that are really trying to make a difference in their own lives and others. To judge the good based on the events of the bad and ugly is intellectually and morally unsound.

“Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”-Confucius
So with that quote in mind, do everything that you do with love and passion. Approach every single time of day with meaning and purpose. Think and Accomplish Objectively. Go back to your motivational reasoning of why you do what you and how you do things.
The Moral Compass of Attraction, Social Confidence, and Social Dynamics: The Social Adaptation Project- Transform Your Authentic Self
Are you an individual that’s 18+? If you feel as something is missing in any part of your life, want to gain social skills, meet new people, get a girlfriend and main that special relationship, want to get married someday, enhance your family relations, improve your friendships and other relationships such as with your co-workers, associates, colleagues, become a transformative leader, build/maintain transforming and fulfilling relationships then The Social Adaptation Project is right for YOU! 🙂
Here at Social Adaptation Project,
Ethics and Morals are Priority One!
The Values within this Company includes: Respect Everybody, Have On-Going Integrity, Thrive, Lead and Strive for Social Excellence.
The Instructors take one on one consultation and training or group consultations and training which consists of two or more clients. Consultations include: background checks, interviews, personality assessments/lifestyle/learning and motivational styles for improved experience with the courses (seminars).
Consultations available: through Email, Social Media (FB), or Web Chat (Ask). Contact (via FB or Website) for further details on Consultations and Transformative Courses/Seminars/Costs.

http://thesocialadaptation.wix.com/thesocialadaptation Websitehttp://www.facebook.com/TheMoralCompassofAttractionandSocialAdaptation Social Media
Potential Clients/Audience: Adults that have the highest moral and ethical values in their priority lists both personally and professionally.
Accepted Clients: With flying colours, individuals do more than pass their background checks and interview processes (over the phone and in-person).
Social Adaptation is a personal growth movement towards empowerment.
A Leadership Program and Resource of Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence.
A set of internalized firm beliefs combined with committed willpower to take action for long term success in any areas or contexts where social interactions occur.
It’s about building rapport (connections) with yourself and others while having a transformative lifestyle towards progression in perspectives and experiences throughout deeper relationships and different stages of social dynamics and its relations.
As said, The Social Adaptation Project takes Ethics very seriously, so Moral Responsibility (Duty) includes how to deal with problems in one’s relationships.
When The Social Adaptation Project founder and owner, Luke, began this Company, he concentrated his insights of emotional awareness and social intelligence into a simple and unique formula called
The Moral Compass of Attraction, Social Confidence, and Social Dynamics
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…We must do that which we think we cannot.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
The Principles found behind this formula is to have equilibrium in deeper and fulfilling relationships at any stage. It’s practically effective for everybody.
“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” -Confucius
Programs (In Class and In-Field) will discuss things such as: Limiting Beliefs

(Internal/External) and Societal Conditioning vs. Individual Affirmations, Transformative Actions (Personal Beliefs)
What attraction is?, How it works?, Why it works (nature vs. nurture)? I.e. Fashion style, Grooming, Hygiene, etc.
What is Emotional Awareness (Micro, Macro, Masked, False Expressions]?, Why it’s important?, The 3Cs, What are the non-verbal cues in the face to genuine expressive behaviour? I.e. Sincere Happy Face- some of the nonverbal cues: crows feet wrinkles, raised cheeks.
What are the nonverbal communication signals that demonstrate comfort, discomfort, stress, distress, hyperstress, eustress, full and genuine consent or disapproval? i.e. physiological responses, facial expressions, body language (nonverbal positioning), proxemic, kinesics, voice tone, establishing beyond receptive and comfortable touch (personal contact), mutual engagement and sharing escalation.
What are the signs, red flags, hot spots of nonverbal communication showing deception? Most common sign in a general sense: Liars look at their listener straight in the face to see if the other is buying their lie(s). Even when one unconsciously shows nonverbal cues to their deceptive demeanor, their motive is still their own secret.
The stages and practical principles of social intelligence: building rapport. E.g. Ego Suspension- remove your Ego and nurture your Identity during interactions with others.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”
— Bruce Lee
Helping Genuine Men and Women, Boys and Girls approach attraction, dating, courtship, flirting, relationships, social dynamics through honesty, authenticity, moral compass, multi-disciplines and perhaps, how to maintain the relations that one desires. Integrity, Social Value, Respect @ The Social Adaptation Project- Discipline, Empowerment, Leadership!
“Everyone has a desire, but the desire to transform oneself, to transform one’s affliction, suffering, in order to get free and help other people, and change the world, that is a good desire.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Goals and Objectives: Providing Resources on Relationship Materials and Discussing dating, relationships (different stages), pick up/Game, attraction (meeting to building attraction, rapport and earning success), social justice issues (standards, equality, fairness) to social dynamics to psychology (behavioural analysis: emotions, body language, gestures, voluntary vs. involuntary expressions), problems in relations, gender dynamics, the principles/philosophies/pillars of social interactions (Leadership, Moral and Ethical Approaches), guidelines to success through emotional and deep spiritual awareness, philosophical, leadership models and searching for Collaborative Efforts with Clients and other Passionate Individuals.
😉 Be Your Authentic Self and Put The Best Side of Your Personality and Character Forward through Genuine and Passionate Charisma! ❤
Why The Founder does this to make the difference? “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (Corinthians, 13:4-8)
CARPE DIEM! SEIZE THE DAY!
❤
LOVE CONQUERS ALL! Omnia Vincit Amor!
Has the passion and continuous love for diverse branches of psychology, sciences, philosophy, social justice, social dynamics, multi-disciplines, leadership, emotional awareness, social intelligence, spirituality, internal strength, charisma, love, communication, and helping people.
“Being your true authentic self is your most attractive self. Us being us is our real attractive self. In fact, us being real, us being authentic is the only truly seductive thing there is. Honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.” -Zan Perrion
Leave others better, motivated, inspired, and smiling with sincerity, when you met them.
“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” –Hitch

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” -Lao-Tzu