Mitz jerks his head and walks out to the front door. He waits there until Snooze follows, then points up the street. It really is just a few door up. "I'm there. I'd invite you over but my parents are unreasonably embarrassing," Mitz winces slightly.

"You're a Knights man," Dick nods, eyeing the tablet. "I'll note that for later." He really will. It'll most likely turn into a pointless data point in a file somewhere, but Dick notes it. And Jerel's coffee smells like maybe hazelnut, he noted that. He looks /great/ in blue, that was the first thing that went jotted down in his mental notepad. He reaches out to take the tablet. "Tell me what to do here?"

See, they both know that's not true because the quieter Mitz gets, the more Jerel talks. ...what research? Don't say that, that sounds terrifying.

"Quite all right," Snooze assures him. "Perhaps some other time. If we will be studying together."

Jerel slides it towards Dick. "I've already logged in, as me. Then you enter your details -- pseudonym and fake address are fine, so long as your bank details are correct. It'll come up on your bank statement as a charge to a life coach," he adds, smiling a little.

Research on bad jokes. Really bad jokes. Jerel will make the worst jokes imaginable and he'll make them whether Mitz is quiet or loud.

Mitz leans against the doorframe, nearly stumbling and falling when he misses, and fumbles through a response. "Ah! I mean. Yes," he rubs the back of his neck. He should have gotten away ages ago. He's just missed the inevitable fuck up, but that won't last for much longer. "We could do homework together."

Dick enters everything, tapping slower than most of his brothers would, but doesn't use fake anything. "Life coach," Dick repeats, amused. "I actually think people would buy that." He hands the tablet back to Jerel.

Mitz rolls his eyes. Okay, whatever. Mitz is going to pack now before Jacob forgets and they have to rush about the place an hour before they get in the car. ...actually, he's going to pack a bag for Jacob, too.

"Yes, exactly," Snooze agrees. He's holding out one hand, as if to steady Mitz, but a totally unconscious gesture in response to Mitz's stumble.

"I think I'd be more inclined to believe that you are the life coach," Jerel says, smiling. He sets down his finished coffee and peruses the information. "Everything's correct," he says. "I'll hit submit, now, if you're ready." Ready to be charged for a higher-class prostitute's services. Most people appreciate being asked. One last chance to change their minds.

Please, oh, please, pack one less pair of underwear than he'll need. That'll be hilarious, watching him try to work it out.

Dick's lips twitch. "Yeah, I'm ready. Go ahead," he says, then finishes his own coffee. "Did you pay for that? I'll get it while I'm up." Dick slides off the couch and heads to the counter, but doubles back with an odd little twirl. "The car's out front. Make yourself at home."

"There's a place on the main street," Mitz says. "Um. I don't what it's like? My dad's got like this crazy photographic memory and he just picks up clothes by eye, so I've never been there, but I know it's real. I've seen it."

Dick walks backwards to the counter, looking at Jerel. He shrugs, smiling knowingly. Of /course/ he'll be able to spot the shiny black Rolls with the licence plate of WAYN25 on it.

Jerel's grin widens some, and he pushes in his chair and heads outside. He looks at the cars on the street for all of three seconds before he sees it and smiles. What an enormous target. It's lucky this is the nice part of town, or that car would already be missing its wheels.

Mitz nods, then takes a step away from the door. "I'll just--" he jerks his thumb back to his house. "Yeah?"

Normally Dick would take his own car, but he's putting on a show for Jerel as much as anyone else. Jerel needs to see this as the ward to a billionaire hiring an escort and splashing out. The others need to see it as a date and, right now, he's going to flirt gently with waitresses to give the impression that he was just catching up with a friend. He comes back out to the car when he's done and unlocks it for Jerel. "You okay with sitting in the passenger's seat? Some people prefer the back."

Mitz stares blankly. He'll...take that as a good thing. (Mitz doesn't understand some pop culture references)

"Of course. Have a good afternoon...?" Snooze says, kind of awkwardly. How do you say goodbye to someone who just asked you to be their fake date slash bodyguard despite the two of you never having spoken before? It's sort of a singular situation.

"I'd only want to sit in the back if you were there, too," Jerel tells him. "It'd be very... weird, let's be honest, to have you chauffeur-driving me around." He slides into the passenger seat and puts the tablet in the glove compartment, where he can collect it at the end of the night. Don't want to take it into the dinner with them.

It's just a -- you know what, never mind. Go pack. Have fun. Forget one pair of underwear. Jerel waves him off, shaking his head. (Jerel sometimes has the patience to explain. Mostly not.)

Mitz actually looks pleasantly surprised by that. "Y-you too," he stammers, then hightails it back to his house. That went okay! It could have gone /better/, but it went pretty okay.

"Okay, good point. No weird, probably insensitive, reenactments of Driving Miss Daisy," Dick promises. He starts the engine but before he puts a hand on the shift and goes, he holds his palm out for Jerel to take. If he likes. One of the things he really misses about being with someone is holding hands and driving stick. It /should/ be sexual, but Dick just finds it really romantic.

Snooze waits until he sees which house Mitz goes into, then if Mitz is looking back at him he waves a little and disappears back inside his house. At which point, I assume, he is accosted by Romana demanding to know all the details of his new friend.

"It's for the best," Jerel agrees, and willingly slides his hand into Dick's. On dates with women, Jerel will often offer his own hand or arm first -- on dates with men, Jerel lets them decide. This is nice. Dick has essentially been giving off the 'I just want a friend' vibe since the phone call, so Jerel is definitely letting him set the terms of any shared affection. And holding hands is just right for a second date.

Condoms and a satanist bible, Jerel's all set. (he doesn't get how mitz is so smart and so clueless)

Almost certainly. And then she will admit that she heard everything, not that she was listening exactly, but it was still heard. And they can go suit shopping tomorrow, unless Snooze has anything planned.

Dick holds Jerel's hand for a second, looking at their fingers entwined. That's nice. Then he lays Jerel's hand on the stick, puts his hand over Jerel's, and gets going to the Manor. "The drive's nice," he says after a little while, to make conversation. "Once you get out of the city and really get to appreciate it for how beautiful it can be from a distance."

Mitz makes a face, grumbling on his way to his room. Jerel is so gross and odd and, frankly, unfathomable. (neither does mitz)

Snooze would like to go suit shopping tomorrow. Did she hear Mitz say he was wearing blue? Snooze forgot to ask whether he meant a blue suit or simply a blue shirt or tie. What does Romana think he should get? How much will it cost? Snooze can pay her back, he will. He promises.

"I haven't been to Wayne Manor before," Jerel says. "There are other places off the road I've been to, but I haven't made the full drive. And not at this time of day. The sunset makes it all look even more spectacular. It's hard to believe that it can look like this, this close to the city."

Will he be pleasantly surprised or disappointed when he sees regular clothes, a tablet and maybe a deck of cards in Jerel's bag? (at least Snooze and Mouse have the patience for it)

Romana shushes him. Snooze, let her dote on him, please. It would be very kind of him if he gave her his permission to dote? And they'll take a look at what they have in the store, but maybe Snooze can ask exactly what his date had in mind.

"Pollution," Dick says simply, glancing at the sunset and smiling. "But Gotham always has a habit of taking something nasty or damaging and making it look beautiful, enticing. Surprising."

Mitz will be relieved. He really is dreading the levels of embarrassment that will go into being smooshed in a room with Jerel and one of his girlfriends, and having to apologise to Snooze half the time for Jerel's behavior. (<3)

He will ask at school tomorrow, he says, mostly to himself. His name is Mitz, he says, looking back at Romana. Isn't that an interesting name?

Jerel is quiet for a moment, because that's... almost exactly what he is -- a petty thief, underneath the pretty cashmere. Oh, well. It's not like he was planning on stealing anything tonight. Everyone knows it's suicide to steal from the Waynes -- Catwoman will actually gut you if you do. "It's probably a good thing Gotham doesn't have much of a city motto," he finally says. "It would be difficult to squeeze that onto a banner."

Jerel is actually going to want Dick to think he's a decent person, so Mitz may end up surprised a lot more often over the weekend.The next couple of days at school, Jerel spends his lunch hour hunting Dick down and telling him things that he might want to know, for pretending to be Jerel's date. He has to face, at one point, the embarrassing confession that the event has turned into an Event, over the whole weekend, and making sure that's all right.

Romana smiles and walks Snooze into the kitchen to make them more tea that they can both drink together. She knows the family, a little. They are an interesting bunch.

"Don't think it really sums it up, though," Dick snorts. "Something more like 'Gotham City: Don't Eat The Fish' would be more accurate." It actually doesn't take that long before they're on the straight-ish road up to Wayne Manor. Occasionally the grounds are open to the public, so it's a scenic drive and an easy one. Dick almost wants to pull over, enjoy the sunset before it's gone. Really get into the pretend date.

Gee, Jerel, how are you going to bring that up? Also telling Dick things about himself is super cute and Dick will see it as such without any trouble at all.

Snooze is quiet for a moment as she gets the tea ready. Eventually, he manages to say, Mitz says he is rather seriously bullied at school. Snooze is going to try to help him. Will Romana be mad if Snooze gets into trouble?

"That'd be useful," Jerel agrees. As the Manor comes into sight, perched on top of the hill, he sighs. "I've seen pictures. They really don't do it justice."

He's just going to jump headfirst into it, like he did with the initial message. Probably like 'haaha so you know how I said it was just a dinner FUNNY STORY i hate my family it's now a whole weekend'

Romana purses her lips. She would prefer it if Snooze were able to find a way to help that didn't result in violence. He's a smart boy, and Romana trusts that he'll try to do that. But she knows, as well, that he might be the only one avoiding violence. So she'll back him up if he does get into trouble. But, she passes him his mug, she means it; try not to.

Dick glances at Jerel. He looks good awed, but only because it's honest. There's no arrogance, no pretense. No pretending. "When I first got here, it scared the hell out of me," he shares. "Too big. Too /fancy/. Still kind of feel like that sometimes."

Which will just make Dick laugh. A whooooole weekend, huh? Of fake boyfriending. Do they share a bed?

Snooze will do his best. He wants to do his best and get Mitz out of the situation without having to worry about being beaten up ever again. But, he sighs. Some people do not respond to words. Of any kind.

Jerel privately agrees. "I can see what you mean. It really is enormous. No wonder they hold the police functions up here. With the size of the police force, everyone could be invited and not cause even a squeeze," he says, joking a little.

Jerel snickers. He's a hundred percent sure that would scandalise his grandparents even if Dick was a girl. No babies before marriage, he says, tsking and waggling his finger at Dick. But, he adds, they'll probably share the spare bedroom with Mitz and his actual boyfriend, so.

Romana blows on her tea, looking at Snooze. Sometimes it's wiser to walk away, she suggests. And perhaps Snooze could walk away with Mitz. Keep it in mind.

"You'd think it wouldn't be such a bore, with so many people," Dick groans, rolling his eyes. "I suppose growing up with those things always happening kind of just--dulls you. But I've always enjoyed a little more flash instead of class. Guess I'll never be a real Gothamite. You classy bastards," he gently teases.

Mitz. That's--the little brother, right? And his boyfriend. So that'll be cozy...

The spare room is, like, a decent size. Jerel thinks his grandparents were expecting more than two small-ish grandsons. And the house is nice, and there's a garden. Lots of places to go to get away from the irrepressible smooching.

Romana smiles, proud, and nods once. Excellent plan. But of course she wants Snooze to stand up for himself if he needs to. And, though this is not the greatest maternal stance to take, she is very proud of him for sticking his neck out for another like he is.

Dick laughs and leans out the window to enter the code for the gate when they reach it. It'll take another good 5-10 minutes to get up the driveway to the Manor, and Alfred will be ready at the door by then. "Soooo," Dick says when they get out of the car after giving Alfred a nervous sort of smile. A nice touch, he feels. "This is it."

Yeah, that's okay. It's not that big a deal. He has little brothers with boyfriends, girlfriends, no friends. He's seen it all. So long as Jerel doesn't mind all this? He could always call it off with Dick. It's kind of a big step in their relationship, he says in a mock serious tone. He doesn't want to rush Jerel.

Snooze hesitates. It... Mitz is the first person to talk to him for more than 'where did you come from, juvie?' since he got to this school. He is really not being that noble.

Jerel takes Dick's hand again, and smiles at him, and then the old butler. He can't believe the Manor actually has a butler, that seems incredibly over-the-top, especially for this day and age. Do they have a maid, as well, he wonders. No wonder Catwoman's so possessive of the place."Are you ready?"

Romana raises an eyebrow. Is that what the other children have been saying?

Dick squeezes Jerel's hand and exhales briefly before he slaps a smile on his face. "Oh, c'mon," he says easily. "I'm not the one who should be nervous. Meeting the family?" He knocks his elbow against Jerel's, then winks at Alfred. "Are /you/ ready?"

Yeeeeaaah, it's okay. Dick shrugs. It all sounds really fun, he said so. He'll be expecting a proposal within the month, though.

"Elliot," Jerel supplies. Stillhaven's the one with the Past. Elliot is very tame. Jerel has others, but those are the ones he likes the most. Feels the most right. "Jerel Elliot."

Dick's got to be prepared to devote his entire life to Jerel, Jerel's warning him now, he laughs. Family business is important. No outside jobs. No friends. Jerel will be reading all of his texts and emails.Shit, could you even imagine living that way? Jerel shudders exaggeratedly. What a fucking nightmare.

Romana reaches forward and puts a hand on one of Snooze's. Very few of his schoolmates will have dealt with the realities of life like he has. That makes him more mature, but it sets him apart. It's difficult, she knows. And there might be little she can do. But the one thing she can do is listen to Snooze when he needs to talk, and that is what Romana will do.

Alfred faintly lifts an eyebrow. "The New Hampshire Elliots?" he asks with a little bit of hush. Dick sweeps in to save Jerel. "Don't ruin my date, Alf," he nearly whines.

Jerel's just lucky that Dick's single right now. His ex-girlfriend would have kicked Jerel's ass if she found those texts in Dick's phone, he grins.

Snooze looks at her for a long moment, then smiles. He appreciates that. Thank you, Romana, he really does appreciate it. But mostly when he comes home from school he wants to forget about it. He might be more mature one day and be able to talk about it. But it still hurts, now.

Jerel squeezes Dick's hand and grins at him, then looks back at Alfred, still managing to smile. "Just the regular old Gotham Elliot," he says.

Jerel picked his target well. He steeples his fingers and laughs... somewhat evilly.

Romana inhales, smiles, and nods. It's very clear that she doesn't agree with Snooze's choice, but she will respect it. So, she changes the subject, is this Snooze's first school dance? Is he excited?

"Good," Alfred says curtly, but with a tiny smile. "I never liked the New Hampshire Elliots. I think we'll all take regular Gotham anything quite happily." Dick's a little taken with Jerel's grin, which is a rookie mistake he reminds himself, and is the middle of walking them past Alfred and into the manor when a car pulls up. And Kory steps out. And Dick feels like he's going to puke but he has to keep smiling. (I am leaving Kory to you, if you like. If not, then you can have Alfie)

That makes the whole thing sound planned. Whyever would he plan something like this?

Snooze totally blushes. It is his first dance. Really, he was not planning to even go to this one -- he thought it would be just another opportunity for everybody to not talk to him. He never expected to go with a boy.

(The only exposure to Kory I have is from Teen Titans. Will that level of exuberance do? Or do you want something more like RHatO?)Jerel thinks he and Dick navigated that nicely, and he was about to turn to Dick and give him some kind of reward -- some kind of affection or an actual smile -- when Dick sort of just... stops.He turns to look behind them. Ah. From the way she looks at Dick and Dick looks at her, and from the gossip sites Jerel had been perusing earlier, that is going to be Dick's ex-girlfriend. Why on earth would Dick's ex be here?

Oh, he didn't plan the weekend. Jerel promises. And he didn't plan his little brother having several romantic partners to choose from to take with him, he says, rolling his eyes. But Dick--yeah, he thought about who to ask.

Romana sips her tea slowly, thinking about her words before speaking. Is he okay with going to his first dance with a boy?

(She's pretty much bang on. Obviously there is more sex in real Kory's world and also she can be kind of cold and alien at times, but otherwise it's all good.) Dick's smile is still glued to his face. Right before he lets go of Jerel's hand, he squeezes it and it's unclear if he's doing that for himself or for Jerel. Then he goes to give Kory a hug. All hurt feelings and confusion aside, he's missed her. "You look great," he says.

Dick doesn't know what to say to that. He guesses it's easiest if he just feels flattered and doesn't think about it too hard, huh?

Snooze can't help himself: he smiles a little, shyly. Mitz is cute, in a nervous way.

(Lovely. Wait, what does she call Dick when there are civilians around? Does she, like, float around still?)Jerel stands ready to interrupt the situation if something goes wrong. He can't save it, but he can salvage it.Kory wraps her arms around her oldest friend. "As do you," she says into his neck, and she isn't just saying it because he said it to her. Dick always manages to look nice in his civilian clothes -- very human, very normal. "I have missed you, my friend."

Romana smiles too because that is adorable. He's a sweet boy, from what little Romana knows of him, she assures Snooze.

(She's pretty much the only person who can get away with calling him Richard, but she'll call him Dick or Richard. And one of her civvie covers is that she's a supermodel, and she tends not to float.) Alfred's pretty much doing an uptight British version of what Jerel's doing. Dick consciously relaxes his hands, suppresses a shiver when Kory's too-hot breath hits his skin, and doesn't stay in the hug for too long. "Sure," he says brightly. "We've missed you around here, too."

Snooze's smile widens--and then fades a little. But it is not really a date, he says, telling himself as much as he is telling Romana. Mitz wants protection from his bully.

(lovely)Kory is disappointed when Dick pulls away so quickly. Things have changed between them, of that there's no doubt, but she wishes they hadn't changed quite so much. It's as much her fault as anyone's. She lets him go, but holds onto one of his hands with both of hers. "And how are you? You are well?"

Jerel nearly jumps forward at the sound of his name, and manages to turn it into something resembling grace only with conscious effort. "It's nice to meet you," Jerel says. He offers Kory his hand to shake.She only reluctantly lets go of Dick's hand to take Jerel's. "And you as well. Jerel?"Jerel nods to tell her she got it right. "Kory." Then he looks back to Dick, and brushes his fingers against Dick's in an offer. "Dick."

Jerel looks skeptical. No, nothing like that. Oh, was that a joke? Jerel hums. They're going to have to have some kind of signal for obscure jokes, maybe.

Romana, in the meantime, gets up to get some biscuits from the press and puts them between them.

Dick takes Jerel's hand thankfully. He points at Alfred with his free hand. "Alfred," he grins. Alfred sighs. "Please leave me out of this bizarre ritual, Master Dick." "Sure, Alfie," he says gently and begins leading Jerel and Kory into the main hall. He clicks his tongue awkwardly for a second or two. "Sooooo."

Dick breaks into a wide smile. Okay, okay, how about if he rubs his left ear?

Snooze takes one of the biscuits. Thank you. ...Romana does not mind? That Snooze is going to a dance with a boy?

Jerel squeezes Dick's hand, and asks Kory, "So what do you do? For a living?" That leads to a couple of moments of easy lying from both of them. Ironically, they're probably both thinking about how much they dislike lying, and about how easy it has become for them.

Jerel will remember to keep an eye out for it. Especially at the dinner table, where he'll probably be the only one laughing.

Dick spends that conversation looking away. He's okay, really. He's happy for Jason and Kory and he's had worse breakups, he reminds himself. He's fine. But that doesn't stop him wanting to just look at her, drink her in. He can't do that. He's studying the chandelier above them when Jason comes in and picks Kory up in a lift-hug. Dick counts the pieces of crystal on one of the chandelier's branches. "Hey babe," Jason smiles, speaking lowly, then notices Jerel. "Who's that?"

Kory says, "His name is Jerel. He is Dick's life coach--no, I'm sorry, that is not correct, is it?" Jerel takes in this tall, muscled guy with the dark hair, thinks overcompensating and sticks his hand out for Jason to shake. "Jerel Elliot. I'm /a/ life coach, not Dick's." He pulls himself in close to Dick with their joined hands. That says he's Dick's date without saying it.

Has he ever tried that out with Jewish grandparents? They are a whole different kettle of fish.

Dick lets go of Jerel's hand and puts his arm around his shoulders. It's really a defensive move. Jason's eyes narrow. "Life coach," he snorts, and takes Jerel's hand. He uses it as a chance to study the hell out of Jerel's face. He does not introduce himself."Jaybird, you wanna maybe ease off? Second date," Dick explains, exasperated. "Want there to be a third. I'm sorry about my brother. Jason." He murmurs to Jerel and they're so close Dick nearly ends up with his face buried in Jerel's hair.

Nah. Grandparents are grandparents no matter the religion. Plus he knows enough Yiddish to get through, and he figures he's handsome enough to ease them through the 'crap no great-grandkids' thing.

Whether or not Romana... would mind. That Snooze likes boys as well as girls.

Jerel accepts the intimacy easily, both the arm around him and the murmuring into his hair. Dick makes it so easy. Attractive, charming, strong... Maybe that's the reason for all of the tension."Nice to meet you, Jason," Jerel says, cordial as anything. He's here for Dick, tonight. To be firmly on Dick's side. That won't be difficult.

Just have to convince them it's not fake, so they let up on some of the damn pressure. Jerel puts enough pressure on himself, honestly.

It would be very hypocritical of her if she did have a problem with that.

Jason mirrors Dick, putting his arm around Kory's shoulders, and lets go of Jerel's hand. "Sure," he says, but not wholly unkind. Dick sighs inwardly. "We probably have a little while before dinner," he tells Jerel. "Want a quick tour?"

Dick has some ideas how they can make sure they don't think it's all fake, but he'd rather hear Jerel's ideas first.