May 2012 Insight - Who is Seeking Who?

Shortly after my abandonment, I was taken in by a babysitter. A little Pentecostal lady, in her mid-forties, who had raised her own sons, now grown. This lady however, was looking for a spiritual legacy her own. I can never thank enough, Mom and Dad Tackett for raising me. They gave me so many wonderful gifts, but the greatest gift mom ever gave me was to introduce me to my father. No, not my biological father, (though I did meet him), but my Heavenly Father.

All of these long shelved away thoughts and emotions surface because of the scripture that caught my eye this morning. It was inscribed by the eternal pen of King David in the Psalms. These were his words as he heard them from God. They are found in Psalms 139:16. Let me read them to you. “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book, they were all written, the days ordained for me.” These words, deeply challenge “illegitimacy”!

When I realize, I was known before birth, recognized before I was formed, the days of my life of “a future and a hope” (Jer. 29:11) were written in a book, how could I ever again, feel the emotion all illegitimate children feel. You know, the one where you are walking on a high wire, and you lose your balance, needing someone to grab hold of to stabilize you! This is the emotion of the illegitimate one! Desperately needing to belong, yet alone, on the high wire, having no one to help give balance to life, because you belong to no one!

When I absorbed these words written by king David, those nauseating emotions leaked from me, as if I were a strainer attempting to hold water. I was free!

As I became empowered in my legitimacy, I wanted to know and pursue “the days ordained for me”. The key to the knowledge of these days is registered in the letter to the Romans. This is how the Apostle Paul chronicled them in Roman 12:2 – Do not be conformed (molded into theform) to the world, but be transformed (super formed) by the renewing of your mind. That you may prove that good, acceptable and perfect will of God. Notice the word “renewed”. It begins with the prefix “re”. This word means to “know again”. You can’t re-know something you never knew to begin with! What did you know? The days ordained for you! When did you know them? Before the foundation of the world, (Eph.1:4). How did you know them? God read them to you!

You and I were accutely aware of our being, pre-existence and legitimacy when we were born. However, being born in a hostile environment, (the world’s system), we experienced trauma, and began to forget. This is why we are admonished by the Apostle Paul to “renew” our minds. Why? So we may “prove” what was written of us before we were born. This word “prove” means to test, analyze or prove. Not everything that happened to me in this life was written of me! Such as the abuse, or abandonment! This was part of the trauma that made me dull and forgetful! This is why we “prove the will of God!

How do I discover the will of God that was “written of me”. Well, wrap this around your brain! You and I are in time. Time is caught between eternity past and eternity future! Eternity past is escaping you, going forward! I know this sounds backwards, but realize, where you just were is now with you, and you are going forward! Where you are going is ahead of you, but ahead of you, is coming toward you, so it is going backwards, (remember, Back to the Future?). These are basic principles of quantum physics. Therefore, you are in the past moving forward, the will of God, not yet fulfilled is in future moving backwards toward you, colliding with you. So, beloved, you are not only seeking the will of God, the will of God is seeking you! (Isaiah 34:16) The will of God is your mate!

What I’m trying to communicate to you is, just RELAX! The will of God is not some mystical occurence with which you must play hide and seek! It is seeking you! Remember, what is seeking you is good! (Jer.29:11) What is not good, God makes good, just like he did for me! (Romans 8:28).

Remember, you are Incredible, Irreplaceable and Incomparable! You are LOVED!