Campus Cat, Campus Hero, Hearts, not heads!, The fear of getting too old for Facebook, Farewell to the best boxer the world’s ever seen

There’s a new character at UFV. I had heard about him, but I didn’t believe it until I saw him dash through the plant-filled ditch next to the SUB the other day: a beautiful little cat with no name and no home. He was very clean and very shy and he’s exactly the touch of wildlife that the Abbotsford campus has been lacking.

Sure, we got ducks and bunnies already, but they’re seasonal, they’re terrified of us, and they’re pretty useless. And yeah, we got those Canadian geese, but they hate our guts. You can’t casually walk by them on your way to class without them hissing at you, as if they owned the place. Stupid big-shot geese think they’re so tough …

Anyway, a campus cat is both aesthetically pleasing, emotionally gratifying, and a practical tool against rats. I mean, if that form of pest control is good enough for a place the size of Disneyland, it’s good enough for UFV. We must defend our collective little buddy from forces that would have him impounded. Let’s adopt him as one of our own. Let’s give him a degree.

Gosh, he’s perfect.

Alex Rake

Hearts, not heads!

Life is so short. Not making the right decisions in your life could lead to deep regret and disappointment. Sometimes life does not go the way we plan, and it can’t be helped.

Having full control over one’s life is near impossible and it usually hinders you from reaching your potential — fear pulling you back, or ambition propelling you forward. Both can hurt the journey to gain your heart’s desire, one limiting you and too much of the other distracting you from the goal.

Everyone has a dream, whether they will admit to it or not. Taking a step in that direction is fulfilling, even if it’s a baby step. As a student, taking every opportunity to write and gain recognition for one’s work is not easy, especially with the fear and insecurity of believing that there are better, more qualified writers out there (and there are).

But I keep going, and I encourage all those out there who stifle their dreams, burying them deep within, to keep going, because in the end the reward will be rich knowing that you actively followed your heart — and not your head.

Rachel Tait

The fear of getting too old for Facebook

This is the digital age, where advancement and redesigns reign supreme, and Facebook’s new emojis are sleek and stylish. So why do I hate them so much? Why was I so repulsed by the sight of an unfamiliar smiley face? Why is it that this update is the one that made me break? After all, I’ve been using emoticons since I started using the internet, and they’ve been redesigned dozens of times.

I know. They’re too well thought-out. If I’m sending someone a nose emoji, I just want a nose emoji, not seven variants! This is an unnecessary complexity that the trivial nature of Facebook just doesn’t warrant. Plus they look downright absurd! These new emojis are too stylish, too clean cut; they beg to be laughed at, named, used in online news headlines of the future. The new 3D style, with its slight depth shading, just looks idiotic to me. My kingdom for some pixels!

It’s entirely possible that the new look isn’t actually the cause of my unease. I’m painfully out of touch with modern internet life. I’m behind on memes, I no longer know what all the acronyms mean, I don’t know how to use Snapchat or Tumblr or Instagram. I am an old man in a young man’s body! This is the end! Or almost! The beginning of a terrifying slide into a mid-life crisis!

Dadada Zuckerberg

Farewell to the best boxer the world’s ever seen

Sadly, the greatest of all time passed away last Friday.

Muhammad Ali only lost five times over the course of an 18-year-long professional career — and three of those losses came after he was already struggling with Parkinson’s, the disease he would fight for over 30 years. Ali was ***the sportsman of the 20th century; he dominated the boxing ring to such an extent that his name has become synonymous with the sport. I most certainly don’t have the physique or athletic ability of Ali, but I idolized the man, his actions, his wit, his prowess in the ring. I used to have a shirt with his face on it, because I found him such an uplifting figure.

He was an inspirational, eloquent, and charismatic individual, a political activist. Ali sacrificed three years of a glittering career when he refused to be drafted, rejecting the warmongering policies of the U.S. government. Ali won acclaim and respect for his refusal to never back down. We could all learn something from the People’s Champion.