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The Staten Island Advance is one of the only papers in the city that will fully report on local petty crimes. And earlier this week, after thief Gilbert Caraballo held up a convenience store in the Meiers Corners neighborhood of Staten Island, they did exactly that. Posting a security-camera image of the perp on their website at 6:11 p.m. on Wednesday, the paper's staff also included details of the crime and a description of the criminal. Then this happened:

His sister was surfing the internet when she saw the photo of Gilbert Caraballo, sticking up a cashier by pretending to have a knife; she then called her brother "to ask if he had robbed anyone." After he checked out his clippings at the Advance and NY1, Caraballo went to the cops. "I feel like [garbage] about the robbery," he says, "so I had to turn myself in."

We love that: Remember tonight, people, to make sure you go home and call your loved ones, and ask them if they've robbed anyone. According to the Village Voice, one Advance reader speculated that what Caraballo really felt like garbage about was all the people in the paper's comments section calling him "Super Mario."