Twitter Me This

So, I opened up the Twitter app on my phone, just like I’ve been doing since 2014 when I signed up for an account. Except today, for the very first time, this shit popped up:

First of all, I haven’t done anything. No, really. I haven’t tweeted anything out of the ordinary lately; nothing untoward, I’ve never had an issue like this before.

The only things, in fact, I’ve been more vocal about lately are the atrocities going on in Gaza where innocent people are being murdered by an occupying military.

Sound familiar?

I’ve been tweeting out about injustice since jump. Receipts are really handy sometimes.

I haven’t tweeted anything suspect. And now, having done nothing to warrant this fuckery, out of the blue, Twitter decides the only way I can unlock my account is by giving up a phone number in order to “confirm that you are the valid account owner.”

Look, I’m a realist (most of the time) and it’s not like I’m unaware that everything you post online doesn’t really hold up to any type of privacy.

But I didn’t do anything wrong here, and I don’t see why I should have to submit to these invasive requests to unlock my account when never since creating an account with Twitter have I ever provided a phone number for anything.

It’s all via email. So, I’m kinda at a loss now and yes I did do the steps they asked for to unlock my account and yes I did contact Twitter support, though goodness only knows if/when they’ll respond to my “appeal.”

While I was locked out, I asked a friend to go to my profile to see what they get and sure enough there’s a warning page asking those who visit to verify whether or not they wish to proceed — like I’m some kind of fucking deviant or cautionary tale. Spoiler alert: I am not that significant. At all.

And I still don’t know what it is I’m supposed to have done to warrant this. And the best part? When you get your account unlocked, you’re warned not to violate their TOS again otherwise the same shit will happen.

But how the fuck am I supposed to avoid doing whatever it is I was initially accused of doing — which I didn’t do — again, if I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about to begin with?