Welcome to Kimber's Blog

Having worked with many women over the years in small groups, workshops, or with individual coaching clients, it’s always heartbreaking when a woman begins to recognize the degree to which she has ignored her own needs. It’s heart wrenching when a women discovers that she has poured her life out for everyone around her, while investing in herself becomes an after thought. I too grieved my own recognition of the lack of attention I had given to myself at the core.

Last night in The Rising Strong TM Group I am facilitating, we discussed the idea that the rationale mind sizes the world up into manageable bits and pieces, but our rationale minds often have an inaccurate scoop. There is a big fat opportunity to see beyond our present interpretations, to let go of well-worn grooves of entrenched belief, to get an upgrade to the story we’re playing.

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain

When I bump up against ideas and thoughts that are not serving me, but are robbing me of peace, a sense of wellbeing and happiness, the only way out is to get curious and navigate through the illusion masquerading as truth.

A few years ago I received a gentle intuitive message inviting me on a deeper journey of self-permission and welcome. Recognizing the degree to which I had shut off parts of myself was heartbreaking. The journey of welcoming myself back has been breathtaking. Allowing Spirit to rewire my thinking and detox my mind from old entrenched, life thwarting mindsets has been empowering. This has been the road to return to my true identity and often the coaching work I do with women.

Living from a place of deep inner congruence isn’t automatic. It isn’t formulaic or one-size-fits all. It requires a deep inner welcoming of parts of ourselves that we’ve shut off and shut down. Few people are willing to sit with their emotions, get curious, stay out of judgment and learn from what they’re inner knowing and true voice has to reveal.

Love is an eternal substance that supersedes all else. Defying what is comprehendible to the natural mind and sight, there is nothing that can hinder Love from reaching and apprehending even what is considered “unreachable.” Mysteriously supernatural Love changes and alters the most barred and reluctant hearts. There is nothing greater.

Words are mere vapors that lack the ability to truly define or describe Love’s reality, yet Love’s generosity is instantly distinguishable. We know the difference between what is real and what is half hearted or duty driven. Lovers always give more than mere slaves.

The springtime aroma of welcome and acceptance released by Love is immediately recognizable. It’s only when we’ve tasted and feasted on Love that we abandon that which is stale and regurgitated. Our palettes won’t allow us to go back to that which is rote, stagnant and toxic to our souls.

It must have been my mom that instilled my love of color and why at one time I had orange sofas. It was my mom who exposed us to travel and seeing life through various cultural lenses other than one's normal surroundings.

I suppose she possessed a certain kind of restlessness, but many do who go on to explore unknown territory. There are often great treasures that exist beyond one’s scope of sight.

When you haven’t lived in the same house and same small town your whole life you might see things differently. When you’ve been blessed with the opportunity to travel and experience different cultures, you might not want to settle for status quo when there are clearly different options.

We’ve stumbled upon something of great importance when we recognize the thing that we never tire of doing whether we receive applause, support, or finances for it. And when we’re able to stop judging ourselves, or determining our value based on other’s recognition, employment or validation of it, we will truly be happy.

For a long time I lamented over the lack of success I had experienced surrounding some of my gifting. Then being sidelined from most business activity for a season I found myself joyfully creating art, writing and supporting women despite the influx of revenue.

It was then that I recognized that no matter how the world defined success, I would always be successful if I showed up and gave myself happily to what made me come alive. It was then that I gave myself the self-permission, self-acceptance, and self-validation to define success on my own terms. This perspective has grown with me into busier times.

When was the last time you gave yourself to adventure? Has it been a while?

Can you remember a standout moment(s) where you moved outside the mundane and adventured?

When was the last time you gave yourself time and space to feel the wind in your hair and the sun kiss across your cheek. Have you given yourself time to lean in and listen, to apply mounds of nurture and the joyous celebration of ‘sistering’ your soul and spirit, lately?

Do you remember the last time you breathed in a lilac’s scent, like the waft of springtime romance, instead of pounding down the pavement of duty and responsibility? When was the last time you made beautiful, wide-open space for yourself?

I think a lot about sisterhood, women supporting one another and not tearing each other down. I haven’t seen or experienced much of this in my life, but lately the idea of ‘sistering’ has moved beyond my thoughts and personal manifesto into a growing conversation. The discussion around this concept might have begun with Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery.

Like must of us, I have experienced many women who are threatened, competing with one another and covered over in shame. I have seen women guarded, pulling in onto themselves, or pulling others unto themselves to feel more powerful, because of their deep seated insecurities.

What’s in the cave?” asks Luke. Yoda responded, “Only what you take with you.”

What one of us doesn’t enter the vulnerable dark cave of isolation, disappointment, anger, hurt and fear, alone? While standing face to face with the screeching shrill of our imaginings and italicized stories, we only truly face ourselves.

Many of us have spent a life time trying to out run the vulnerable darkness, redirected through pointed fingers, or flailing our way out of a deep resting look within, through busyness, perfection, attempting to control everything around us, acting out, or the sugary sweet niceness of denial.

I’ve determined that successful living is mostly about the art of composting.

The beautiful skill of taking shit and turning it into a growth accelerant of deep, rich value is, mere genius. How have we missed this?

I don’t know about you, but I have fun mystical conversations with God. Sometimes they are around a movie, an experience, a word or line I hear someone say in passing, a storefront window display, or anything God uses to speak to me.

In one of our juicy early morning conversations, my husband and I we’re discussing the coaching term ‘staying out of the box’ that means refraining from trying to “fix” another person by telling them how they “should” navigate their own life.

Being recovering “fixers” we highly value coaching as a modality. Through the coaching code of ethics, coaches honor clients as the expert of their own life, rather than the helping professional, or person that inadvertently shows up as the self-appointed guru.

Shaming behavior shows up when people fight over words, weaponizing language and using words as a sword that divides and separates. This reveals a limited cultural mindset. I consistently try to use words that are outside of certain cultural paradigms, because I don’t want to be reduced by language used to box me in or define me in someone else’s limited mindset.

eaching art to children, or working with coaching clients I have seen the blocks in those who are afraid to show up and be seen imperfectly. The idea of expecting perfection is the number 1 inhibitor of creativity. Unless a child has continually been stuck in front of the TV instead of rooming in wide open spaces of exploration, they're naturally uninhibited creators.

If I allowed my regular flawed and imperfect grammatical skills to stop me from showing up I would never write. In fact, the one time an unsolicited, self-appointed 'wordsmith' called me a moron on Twitter, I laughed, deleted her and continued to write.

As a professional life coach I naturally love personality assessments. However, you can't personality test your spirit!

Personality assessments are great tools to help us understand and then lean into our natural bent. The problem is what we assume is our natural bent is often nothing more than a learned coping mechanism ego constructed for survival.

I used to be of the persuasion that God was pushing and requiring things of me that I didn’t want to do them. These things might be: joining in an activity or group that I truly wasn’t interested in and didn’t enjoy. I still hear people stating that they feel “called” to something they don’t want to do for the betterment of others, believing their soul purpose of being in a setting is to change or fix others!

I sat there as if in a warm bubble bath soaking up the kindness, for truly it seemed like ages since I had received that kind of help. Some of us learned as survival methods that help wasn't coming, so we had to take care of ourselves and soldier on. Sometimes we are attached to the idea that things will be hard. This sad perspective is truly heartbreaking. Imagine putting that kind of yoke on a young child.