Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Looks like your standard fare of cirque de acrobatics, and rhythmic gymnastics... along with the recreation of a storm trooper roll out.

It is unclear whether the video's release was authorised, although it is highly unlikely as there has been a huge security clampdown around the ceremony with Chinese officials closely guarding their secret plans.

I'm sure that true degenerates will find this completely reasonable. But you'd have to be a real rube to try to win money on this...

Eggycam, a live video feed showing ten eggs in an incubator, is a new internet craze aimed at raising money for charity.

The point of this...to gamble on which egg is going to hatch first. For crying out loud, there's even odds set up!

After they check the PH levels of each egg, they set the odds.

According to Metro UK, the site is receiving 100 bets per hour! Ken Robertson, of online gambling site PaddyPower.com and the man behind this little venture, should be running the sports book at the Taj.

Hopefully punters will have a cracking win! says Robertson. Kind of sounds like he knows that he's got his clientele duped.

This is like taking the over in a soccer game. But it is for a good cause, which I hope is the main reason people seem to be wagering on this. All profits go to Down Syndrome Ireland, so if you're feeling philanthropic today, go drop a G on egg 8 at 13-2 odds.

I'm purely an advocate of the Gulbis brand, that is sort of creeperish. To be fair, they're stalking other celebrities on this site, not just the future Mrs. Curly. (For example, Celine Dion lives 1.5 km from Natalie, apparently)

Today, Williamson's grandmother, Pearline Williamson, 78, chased down a mugger in North London after her purse was robbed.

When she took my purse I had to do something so I ran after her and grabbed her as hard as I could...She said she hadn't taken it at first, so I shook the life out of her until she finally gave it back. (Olympic Supergran Chases Down Thief

)

Her attitude would make her an Olympic gold medallist if she were just a few years younger, said Williamson of his grandmother. He's still a strong possibility to take gold in the 100 in Beijing, and allay the team's Chambers affliction.

The BBC needs to think about a public service announcement featuring this family - is any of the Williamson clan in the Peace Corps currently?

BEIJING - Beijing will set up specially designated zones for protesters during next month's Olympics, a security official said Wednesday, in a sign China's authoritarian government may allow some demonstrations during the games. (Beijing to set up Olympic protest zones)

According to the AP, the free zones are being set up miles away from the main festivities at the Olympic Green - out by the softball field and the beach volleyball courts. They'd also appreciate it if all protesters would apply for permission beforehand.

Is there going to be a specific check-in table for objectors? And should you provide a list of militants for RSVP purposes?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Friday night, I went to an event that was described to me prior as a midget bullfight where free tequila would be served. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to go, as that I felt morally responsible to.

Is bullfighting even legal in New York!? I thought, as we made our way out to this spectacle. It was out by the Brooklyn Bridge; I presumed at some abandoned warehouse where I would be frisked for weapons and contraband on the way in. Maybe there would be reckless gambling involved!

Turns out there were no bulls. No midgets! The event was actually a book release party at a harmless bookstore (read: no abandoned warehouse, no gambling whatsoever). Thankfully, the free tequila was not a myth, and we drank that liquid opium in the children’s section and read Where The Wild Things Are.

The party was for the release of Enanitos Toreros by Livia Corona. She spent almost a decade living in Mexico at a dwarf colony, the residents of which are huge bullfighting enthusiasts, see for yourself:

Friday, July 18, 2008

Short of some catastrophic happenings that leaves us all holed up, I'll be vacating my apartment in two weeks - don't worry, ladies, I ain't going far.

Between now and then, I'm determined to hit all the top food locales before I leave the immediate neighborhood. A couple days ago, I told my buddy Riccardi this, and he said that the best gyro he's ever eaten was from a cart right by my apartment. So, last night I decided to heed his advice. Correct, I went home consciously (and soberly) intent on eating street meat for dinner.

I ordered one of each - a chicken and beef - gyro, and made sure the guy OD'd on the white sauce. And you know what, my pal Riccardi was right, it was totally goddam delicious. I enjoyed these while watching Last Comic Standing - which is a completely tolerable show. And most importantly, it didn't put me into a food coma, so I could make it to the midnight showing of Batman.

...And The Dark Knight was positively awesome. Short of a parole hearing, drop what you have to do this weekend and go see it. In my opinion, if you're gainfully employed, come Monday morning you have no one to blame but yourself if someone at your office squawking in elation ruins this movie for you.

Heath Ledger's performance alone is reason enough to treat seeing it with a sense of urgency. He is totally unsettling. Given the circumstances, while watching I couldn't help but ponder how Ledger kept the Joker so tightly together (while running amuck on screen), since we know that he was strung out while Dark Knight was being filmed.

Back to roadside cuisine for a minute.

If you saw the operation that these guys were running, you would not question why I took me two-years living in the neighborhood to dabble. Their cart appears to be hooked up to the conversion van they've got parked next to it. And the grill looks like it may or may not be that van's engine. The smoke billowing out of this kiosk consumes the bank they have shopped up next to. This is one delicious sidewalk plague that these guys have created.

Whip It is about a female roller derby league in Austin, TX (the Ann Arbor of the Sun Belt region). It stars Ellen "home skillet" Page (Bliss Cavendar), a young girl who discovers the joy of being hell on wheels. It has nothing to do with the band Devo, evidently.

The casting call is searching for bald men, those with mohawks (either gender), roller skaters or people who know sign language.

So if you have one of these weird hobbies, or unfortunate coif situations, and you're over-18 - sign yourself up and see if Julia Gulia picks you.

According to an email from Real Style casting company, the baldies should be "willing to get their dome signed by Drew and the cast."

It does not specify this, but I'm willing to wager that a skullet (willing to get your dome signed, of course) will receive preferential casting consideration. Sign linguists or otherwise.

Hundreds of men, women and children, most in white with red scarves around their waists and red bandannas around their necks, gathered outside a French Quarter bar Saturday morning to be chased down Bourbon Street by members of New Orleans' roller derby league.

Oh. Hell.Yeah.

During the first half of that video, I was like "who is wielding a chainsaw on bourbon street right now?" And then the Elvis impersonators showed up on their motor scooters.

“The energy of the runners was electric” Mudflap Girl observed. “It was a truly amazing feeling that hundreds of people were stoked that we were there, and stoked to have their azzes whupped by us!!

(I lifted that insight from the Big Easy Roller Girls blog... I could never with good conscience take credit for the use of the term azz (pl.))

... oh, again, the Elvi on mopeds, you can learn more about them at rollingelvi.com

Sunday, July 13, 2008

In the second game I watched during yesterday's Third Annual International Kickball Invitational in Brooklyn, N.Y., a girl playing first base was brought to the ground by an opposing player barreling down the base line. His tackling technique was nothing if not textbook. She bounced back remarkably well from the bear hug take down, as her team's second baseman ran to cover her up - as one of her boobs had freed itself from her bikini top.

Along with All-Star teams assembled from the Brooklyn League, there were squads in attendance from Canada (read: International!), the deep South (Atlanta), and the midwest (Hoboken, NJ).

The eventual champions - one of the four Brooklyn teams - notched a mercy rule victory in their second game of the day, against a team that came all the way from Toronto.

So did you guys rent a church van or something? I asked some the Canadians. No, gas is stupid, we took the bus...it took 11 hours. That's a long ways to come to get throttled like that.

The tournament ran all day Saturday from 1 - 11 p.m. - which by my estimation is the longest recorded kickball tournament since Jesus coined the term balls in 15 A.D. (Quote:Get these balls, sucka sayeth the Lord to Judas; Corinthian 21:12)

McCarron Park in BK provided the ultimate self-indulgent backdrop for an organized group of several hundred adults playing an elementary school game. Like most hot, humid days in New York, the park was overrun with beautiful people laying on beach towels, just sort of looking at each other. Also, there was not one, but dueling Mister Softee trucks - which will be getting my business, I wonder?

Prior to the start of the tournament, I spent a good amount of time sitting on a bench drinking a 32-ounce Budweiser out of styrofoam cup watching these Polish kids pelt each other with water balloons. A little girl about five flanked me, and hit me square in the junk with one. Miraculously, it didn't pop; she was so mad it didn't explode all over me. I was relieved, I didn't need to walk around the rest of the day with wet junk.

Even though they didn't play particularly well, the Canadians did show up with Maple Leaf umbrella hats, an apparent traveling mascot dressed as Dionysus, and ketchup flavored potato chips.

Luckily I had the 32-ounce King of Beers or I never would have gotten the taste of those putrid chips out of my mouth.

See some more photos of the tournament below, as well as one of the more clever trash cans I've seen in my day. Check out more at BrooklynKickball.com as well.