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My Brush with Reality TV Stardom: I was Cast on “Elimidate”

So, there I was, a newly single fraternity boy in New Orleans about to embark upon my senior year of college. My girlfriend of a year had broken up with me to go to medical school on the east coast and I was a one-man wolf pack running around the bayou looking for God knows what.

How I Met The Casting People

I was at Ms. Mae’s in Uptown New Orleans throwing back cheap drinks like a regular ole bro. Keep in mind, this is Rob Ryan’s favorite bar and the place stays open 24/7/365 and, at the time, served dollar drinks at all hours. A guy and girl with a clipboard came up to me as I was dressed in my fratty attire of blasted jeans, flip flops, and sorority date party tee-shirt. I thought they were promo people handing out free shots and then they said they were from “Elimidate” casting. I realized just how awesome of a bro I would be if I could go on TV and do bro-like things as if I were at The Boot.

And Then I Auditioned For Reality TV

I woke up the day of my audition with a pretty bad hangover from the previous night out on the prowl. I shoved some random girl’s bra under my bed and realized the latest girl had left before I had awoken. Winning, I thought….long before that Charlie Sheen fellow made it a catchphrase. I arrived at the audition feeling great and ready to show off my best, or worst. I had decided to crank my frat boy persona up to 11 and really sell that character, a poor girl’s Matthew McConaughey of sorts. Waiting for the audition was interesting and I actually almost ran away because there were all walks of life and I do mean ALL WALKS OF LIFE. It was sketchy but then I met a 31-year-old teacher who was pretty darn cute. In the mind of a 21-year-old frat boy, she was a true cougar. I decided to stay and enjoy the adventure.

I Was Cast On A Reality TV Dating Show

Finally, my time had come. I went in and they asked if I was single and to tell them some stories about dating and hooking up. I entertained them with the “greatest hits” as if I was hanging out at the fraternity house trying to score brocephus points. They loved it. They told me I was “prime Elimidate material” and then took photos of me, first of my face and then a full-body shot. I was called a week later and they told me that I had been cast on “Elimidate” as the picker. My episode was set to film during September of 2005. I called everyone I knew. The bar that all of us bros hung out at was notified that night and they said they would gladly show my “Elimidate” episode in the bar.

So, where can you find my episode of “Elimidate,” you ask? It never happened. Because Katrina. The only good thing that darn girl ever did for me. She took all of my worldly possessions and she ripped my heart out but she saved me from a story that I would now regret as a 30-year-old professional. I thank her for that.

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