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Friday, October 15, 2010

Divine Cruelty Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Yesterday I pointed out how the folks at Conservapedia were chalking the recent rescue of miners in Chile to the power of prayer. The point of my post was not to say that they were wrong- although I did make that assertion along the way- but rather to explain how such a claim for the efficacy of prayer was little more than cruel. By giving prayer credit for the rescue of those men, the Conservapeons are effectively blaming the deaths of other miners the world over on the apparent failure of their families and friends to pray hard enough. So, in short, I basically suggested that not only was invoking the power of prayer factually and theologically stupid, but it was heartless and cruel besides.

Well, that was then and this is now and it appears that Conservapedia has come up with a "new" explanation for the miners' survival:

Or, in standard human language:

Bad news for liberals once again: it was pure capitalism and a free-market economy saved those miners in Chile.How do we figure that statement? Innovation, risk, and investment that capital provides whittled down to four simple words: Center Rock drill bit. [emphasis original]

I'll let you read the article they're referring to on your own if you like, but my point right now is simply this: yesterday, it was god who saved the miners, but today it's capitalism and human greed. Does this represent a rare change of mind for Conservapedia? Yeah, not so much, because if you page down a bit farther you'll notice that yesterday's headline is still on display:

Speak Up And You Can Make A Difference!Glenn Beck, fed up with unsubstantiated accusations by Barack Obama, Joe Biden and other liberals, claiming the U.S. Chamber of Commerce is funneling foreign money into political campaigns, urged his radio listeners this morning to donate to the chamber.....not only donate, but make it their biggest day of contributions ever. To start it off, Beck donated $10,000. The result? The chamber's servers crashed, they had to re-route traffic and they did indeed get the largest single day outpouring of support in their history. Liberals whine and complain, conservatives roll up their sleeves and get to work finding solutions! [emphasis original]

And it's damned near impossible for me to comprehend, but apparently private individuals are donating shit tons of money to an organization whose explicit purpose is to represent the interests of corporations. I'm no flaming leftie, but I have to admit that I really miss the days when "populism" meant something other than "shilling for big business." But I digress...

To return to the central point: how are we to understand Conservapedia's flip-flopping on the Chilean miners? Was it god who saved them or capitalism? Well, as it happens, I think I have an answer: it was both, because to Conservapedia, there's no difference. The longer I watch the more apparent it becomes that the Conservapeons don't worship any version of Jesus with which I am familiar, and instead worship an engine fired by human greed.* And, again, my disgust with the Conservapeons knows no bounds.

God money i'll do anything for you.God money just tell me what you want me to.God money nail me up against the wall.God money don't want everything he wants it all.

[Bridge:]no you can't take itno you can't take itno you can't take that away from meno you can't take itno you can't take itno you can't take that away from mehead like a hole.black as your soul.i'd rather die than give you control.head like a hole.black as your soul.i'd rather die than give you control.

[Chorus:]bow down before the one you serve.you're going to get what you deserve.bow down before the one you serve.you're going to get what you deserve.

God money's not looking for the cure.God money's not concerned with the sick amongst the pure.God money let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised.God money's not one to choose

* I should note here that I don't think anyone should worship Jesus but, that said, I also don't think we should worship the works of man, either. To worship something implies that it is perfect, and such a belief almost always interferes with making it better in the future.