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Friday, October 31, 2014

The problem with being a feminist.

Two words that are usually associated with an alpha personality are dominant and aggressive. Sometimes these can be considered good things, sometimes bad things.

In my case, I feel like 90% of the time it's not good when people refer to me as aggressive or dominant.

I tout my opinion as facts (this restaurant is better than another, instead of "I like this place better than that one."), I often dismiss opponents in opinion as irrelevant.

How does this have anything to do with being a feminist, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

Feminism has a pretty bad rap. When you are woman who has strong opinions about equality between men and women, some people automatically assume that you're a man hating, "fem-nazi" who wants women to have better treatment than men, or who believe that ALL men are at fault for the inequality between the sexes.

Let me explain something to you.

I adore men. I date one. I was raised by one. (Of course, I don't adore men who are assholes, but I also don't adore women who are assholes.)

Men and women are different. There's no denying that. But just because that we are different doesn't mean that women shouldn't have the same chances as men.

That also means that men who fall outside the typical spectrum of masculinity because of their body types, the things they like, what they wear, etc, doesn't mean that they should be punished for that . I have a big problem with words that are associated with femininity/women (pussy, sissy, girly) are considered insults. Being a woman isn't something to use as an insult against someone. Feminism doesn't mean that women have more rights than men. It means that women have the SAME rights as men, and men do not lose the rights that they already have. (Feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.)

Anyone who thinks that there are things that men should be barred from simply because they are men, or blame men as a whole for the fact that women are not equals, is not really a feminist, as far as I'm concerned.

Men and women must be allies in equality. That's the only real way to get anything done and to make real changes in our society.

Men and women both need equality, I believe. Women need it so that we can have the same opportunities as our male counterparts, to be paid the same for the same work. Men need it so that it isn't considered taboo or wrong or unmanly to express emotion, to wear makeup if they want to, to be into fashion if they want to be.