How pernicious is a bad oracle? Susan Miller, pictured above, is the number one celebrity astrologer in America. She provides a comprehensive monthly report for all 12 tropical signs. Her appealing combination of chatty tidbits of astrological lore and conventional wisdom has millions of readers. Yes, it's all based on the wrong signs, but who cares? Is there any harm in Miller making her audience feel better, using whatever message she can? At some point you have to weigh the value of her air-brushed advice against how easy it goes down. Bad astrology is still bad advice.

She must have some kind of rotation system in place, like an analog for generating clichés. It's like an avalanche of marbles. One sign should fall in love, another should buy antiques, it's quite arbitrary. Miller is very opinionated in a meaningless way, her bourgeois sound bites replacing any lasting insight. On the other hand, she has attracted a fan base of over 9 million acolytes and loyal readers to her website every month. With those numbers, you get to walk on water.

I've been to it myself; it's like cheap perfume, meant to please, but you wonder if it's a coverup. Many would say (Miller is not among them) that astrology is only entertainment, so who cares about the numbers, degrees, precessions? Astrology is like a comic strip, who needs science? Miller never worries that she's missing Ophiuchus, the female snake goddess. She can't change now. Superstardom has driven her into a corner, and it's hard to escape.

For Miller, a female astrologer herself, it's particularly grating, since 12-sign astrology mocks women and reduces their presence in the Zodiac. Miller uses a male-chauvinist astrology that was adulterated by crackpot Roman astrologers. She should update. However, as a self-professed devout Catholic, she is more likely to continue to imbue astrology with her hit-or-miss brand of medical morbidity and minor miracles, along with a lethal dose of patriarchy.

Maybe she's driven, role-playing into her higher self. Her own stump speech is quite touching. However, she is too invested in a lucrative business to accept anything that upsets the apple cart. In a media-hungry world, there is no such thing as a benign but incompetent astrologer. If people listen to her, it matters what she says.