What's on your mind?

This section is available to anyone who wants to share a thought or start a discussion about trans men, cis men, transgenderism, discrimination, sexual practices... You name it, as long as it is respectful, you may post it here. You must submit your post to our moderator to filter out any inappropriate posts (hateful, mean-spirited, spam or illegal). No names or email addresses will be posted. Give us a nickname you want to accompany your post.

CG (8-8-13):I hate when my posts are flagged for no legitimate reason. It seems to be very popular to flag a post for the following illegitimate reasons: 1) the flagger is rejected by the poster and wants revenge - this is especially troublesome when someone responds who is clearly not what the poster is seeking 2) the flagger is jealous because the poster is looking for the same thing he is and wants to eliminate the competition 3) the flagger is a former bf/gf/partner of poster and wants revenge or to stop the poster from finding anyone else (I actually know someone who admitted to do this to people he doesn't like) 4) the flagger is part of a team of "transpolice" who want to force every trans man or his potential partner to follow certain rules about terminology, types of sex permitted, type of relationship a trans man is allowed to seek... 5) self-annointed guardians of the trans community (see reason 4, this is similar but slightly different). These people use a social network to label a person they have issues with as a "predator," "fetishist," "objectifier," "creeper"... and their mignons or lemmings follow them en mass flagging people without knowing the person they are flagging is indeed a "predator" or whatever.

All of these are so common, much more common than any legitimate reason to flag a post. Judging by our email and friends we find the overwhelming number of us are really annoyed by this practice. I particularly dislike the last category of sheep who allow one person to label someone and follow blindly as if they have no mind of their own or can't understand that many people have ulterior motives for flagging someone's ad that is not legitimate (see numbers 1-4 above).

There obviously is a need to police the CL site but the current practice of allowing flagging by anyone is not working. A solution that CL ought to adopt, in my opinion, is to start allowing premium members who pay an annual fee to have premium posts that can't be flagged. These premium members would have to give personal information, including address and credit card information to join the premium service. Any inappropriate posts could then be traced back to these people and they could be punished. CL could use the extra revenue to hire a few workers to follow any complaints registered against a premium member's post.

RY (8-11-13):

I have the same problem. My posts never last more than a day. Ugh!!!

Topic: Is a cis man who is exclusively attracted to trans men a fetishist by default (de facto)?

CG (8-8-13): This is a particular offensive issue for me, a cis man. I have been kicked out of groups because I post that I want to find a trans man as my partner. The moderators have told me I am fetishizing trans men and won't allow a post specifically asking for a reply from a transgender man. Really? Wanting to date a transgender man is fetishizing him? I wonder what their definition of "fetishist" is? To recognize one is attracted to transgender men and want to start a relationship with a guy is no more fetishizing him than a gay cis man posting an ad for a bottom, or a top, or for a slender guy or a bear or... No one would raise any questions of legitimacy for those post, why attack a cis man that wants to date a trans man? I don't get it.

JR (8-11-13):

Aren't we all fetishist in some way if that is the case? I love it when cisguys want me because I am FTM - bring em on :) It beats the hell out of explaining myself to every guy who hits on me.