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January 11, 2007

A Song For Eternity

About a week or so ago, a few days after the burial of my father, it was just a few minutes before 7am. I was not sleeping so well then. Maybe an hour or two a night. It is only slightly better now. Something just told me to get up and go to my father's room. I was exhausted and toldmy self my mind was again playing tricks on me. I convinced myself that i just needed to try to go back to sleep. I lay back down. Then all of a sudden, I heard a noise in my mind that sounded like a handful of silverwear falling into a sink, a a quiet small voice saying get up. I heard those two things again. I decided to get up.

I immediately walked back to my fathers room and it was about 6:59am. When the alarm clock showed 7am, his radio came on and I know he woke me up to hear the song that was playing. It was what I needed to hear. My father was never a demonstrative person and rarely said that he loved us verbally. We knew he loved us by his actions. It would have been nice to hear him say those words when he was alive more than what I did hear them.

The song that came on the radio was by Whitney Houston. It was her song, I will always love you. I know that my father gave me that song that morning. It was what I needed to hear. I know that he will always love me. It was reassuring to hear that song. I sat on his bed and cried as I listened to it.