TTC after post partum depression

I have a history of depression, mostly in high school. I had no symptoms of depression for years! But did have anxioty and was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

I was doing AMAZING for a couple of years no issues. I got pregnant and could not have been happier! DH and I had been married for more than 4 years and we had baby fever! anyways the pregnancy was OK. No morning sickness, but I had to have my appendix out at 10 weeks pregnant. and was shortly taken off work at 24 weeks due to some complications.

Anyways the labour was intense as I'm sure many can attest to! I laboured at home for over 24 hours and after my water broke i was in the hopital at 8am the next day after my warer broke. I wasn't progressing fast enogh so was put on pitocin. After a long day of labour and DD havign d cells i was sent for an emerg c-section.

That was fine, as a nurse and knowing what all the monitors were saying i was begging for a c section because i wanted what was best for DD. I had no epidural until a c section was ordered. After the c section I was in recovery for LONG time. I didn't get to see DD until she was over 6 hours old. She did latch right away but in the following hours and days she would nto latch. I saw 3 lactation conultats and she just would latch!

So I pumped, and I pumped and I pumped. I was a cow lol I made so much extra milk we had to buy a bigger freezer.

What I am getting at is that I think this all led to my PPD. I missed the bond of breatfeeding with my DD. I would pump while my husband fed her.

I thought I would out of the woods after 4 months of feeling great. Then around 5 months I started to get sooooo depressed. My DH had to cox me out of bed to take care of LO and shower and eat. Once we saw what was happening we went to my family doctor who put me on antidepressants and antianxiety meds. Things when from bad to worse. I was hospitalized 3 times because of my anxiety mostly but also my depression. I missed out on 4-5 months of my DD's life because I was over medicated and depressed.

It was the worst time of my life.

I started to recover and now am better than ever, enjoying everyday in everyway. i am back at work (booo 12 hour shifts :( ) but the PPD has gone.

I guess I am wondering if anyone had PPD with one LO and if they had it with their next? We put off TTC because of the depression and I got alot of negative comments ont he June board when I told them my story and that we wanted to TTC again.

We are ready and want a sibling close in age to our DD. And I kknow that we will have to take preemptive percautions with this coming LO. I think I will have to go on antidepresants once our next LO is born. The reason I didn't do it earlier before is because I wanted to breatfeed and didn't want any meds getting into breatmilk. But this time I know that me being healty and not in the hospital would be best for all.

I'm sorry this is so long, I was just wondering if anyone else had been in this situation and how the next pregnancy/having another LO went for you.

we soooooo want another baby and we are ready. but there is the fear of what happened to our family with my last LO.

so sorry to hear that you had such a difficult time with your first child. i had ppd after my first son was born, not to the extent of your experience, and it was very paralyzing to me at the time. it was a concern of mine when i was pregnant with my second son, but thankfully i did not have a repeat experience. i still had some common "baby blues", but my emotions were much more in check the second time around. i believe it was due in part to being able to successfully breastfeed my second son, i already knew what it meant to be a mom, and we had the help of my mom who had been staying with us at the time. now that we're anticipating a third child it's something i keep in the back of my mind, but i don't worry about it.

i think as long as you keep a running dialogue with your husband and your doctor about how you're feeling that will be key, and probably starting medication once the baby is born is the right way to proceed. what also helped me was joining a breastfeeding moms' support group. having the opportunity to talk with other women going through the same stuff, not necessarily ppd, was a tremendous help to me. you'll be able to be better prepared the second time around which even if it doesn't eliminate your ppd, i think will make it less intense. i hope this helps and hugs to you!