too clever by several halves

Darnit, where did the Trump White House get the idea of moving Attorney General Jeff Sessions over to the Department of Homeland Security and replacing him at the Department of Justice with someone even more (somehow) willing to let Trump get away with murdering Rod Rosenstein and Bob Mueller? They got it from somewhere, because here’s ABC News reporting that “Trump aides” are pushing for it, which means everyone was yelling at each other and that got yelled about some.

They denied it’s going to happen yesterday, so look for Sessions to be appointed to DHS Friday evening and new AG David Duke recess-appointed retroactive to 2012.

Or, apparently, they could make… Rick Perry the Attorney General somehow? Philip Bump, correspondent of the Washington Post, are YOU the one who gave Trump’s people this idea? You came out with your worryingly correct-sounding explanation of how Rick Perry could become AG the day before Reince got pushed out and Kelly’s spot at DHS opened up. Bump talked to Paul Butler, an expert in this sort of shit, who told him:

“‘The Vacancies Act says that — notwithstanding any kind of other rule, like the regular DOJ succession statute — that the president, and only the president, can appoint an acting head of the Department of Justice to that position as long as that person has been confirmed by the Senate,” Butler explained. “So if there’s another person who works in the federal government whose job requires presidential appointment and then confirmation by the Senate, then that person is entitled to be put in, in this case, as the acting attorney general.'”

In other words, Trump could (maybe) make Ben Carson the Attorney General. The person being replaced needs to die, resign or be “otherwise unable to perform the functions and duties of the office” which might get in the way, but if you desperately shuffle your AG somewhere else because you’re a flailing, petty crook with an ego problem and incredible luck who’s in way over his head, that technically means they are “otherwise unable to perform the functions and duties of the office” so, fine.

But there is no way anybody in the White House knew you could just swap one of these Cabinet guys for another! That’s complicated stuff! Maybe Reince knew it. Or maybe they really do get these ideas from just, like, stuff you can google.

So Washington Post friends, please be careful about what you explain Trump can do. Like, don’t find some political science Jedi who knows about an incorrectly placed semicolon that gives the President the power to nationalize the press forever.

Incidentally, the first place on the internet to alight upon the idea of moving Sessions to DHS appears to have been a blog called American Lookout, which has writers who’ve published on Breitbart, Gateway Pundit, and one that’s new to me called Three Percenter Nation, which refers (supposedly) to the percentage of colonists who actually fought against the British, and now denotes an association of people who fantasize about insurrection with varying degrees of wanting to actually do it.

So, it’s fairly clear that Bannon got the idea here, and/or maybe it was Jared who read about the Cabinet switcheroo in the Post and told Dana Perino who told Donald Trump through the tv.

Or maybe they did come up with it themselves, who the hell knows. It won’t be Giuliani for DHS though, he was a prosecutor, he knows a lot of these guys are fucked.

Nobody else lays it out for you quite like Wonkette, but we can’t do it without a little bit of your money. We are 100% ad free and reader supported, so please donate here or do it below. Also, if any Soros types are reading, Alex says he’ll go full time for a year if you give us $400,000.

Not sure about heroin for “difficult breathing” but otherwise, it does sound effective.

caitifty

Opioids are really good cough suppressants. It’s why they were in all those pre-Harrison act medications (5 grains is about 0.3g, taken orally it’s not that bioavailable, so you’d have to drink the whole bottle to get buzzed let alone cause respiratory depression.
The alcohol would have way more effect).

Werewolf

Opiates and opioids suppress the feeling of oxygen deprivation. Morphine is the treatment of choice at end of life when breathing becomes difficult.

I’ve seen better shuffling and con-artistry at a three-card monte game. Note to White House: your shill is supposed to NOT tell people which card is the queen.

Scooby

It’s like a Chinese fire drill.

Latverian Diplomat

I thought Trump promised only made-in-America Fire Drills from now on?

Johnny Appleseed

Trump promised a lot of lies…

willi0000000

. . . and we’re getting them! . . . campaign promise kept!

Michael Smith

The three percenter nation?

Are they aware of the similarities between that name and the Five Percenter Nation, a kind of black nationalist movement (with whom the Wu Tang Clan are somewhat associated), that believes in an elaborate mythological backstory which establishes black people as the superior humans and white people as an inferior subspecies whose downfall is inevitable?

I really hope they get a bunch of confused commenters on their blogs. I mean, I’m white, so I can’t really get behind the Five Percenters and they wouldn’t have me anyway (and I think they’re nuts), but I like them better than these three percenter people. In fact, these three percenter people make me kind of see the plausibility behind the Fiver Percenter mythology.

Everrett Fanuelli

Or the 1%er biker outlaw culture? Who would win in that fight?

Michael Smith

What is it about percents that make people so militant?

Latverian Diplomat

Fractions are so much more rational.

Komsumverweigerer Ron

ISWYDT

willi0000000

not a hundredth as much as race, but OK.

MynameisBlarney

Maths is hard.

WotsAllThisThen

All of us, Katie.

Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

New plan. Here’s a bowl with Cabinet positions. Everyone come up and draw one slip of paper. Whatever department it says is the department you’ll run.

eyelashviper

and rotate every two months, max.

willi0000000

just to keep it interesting, there’s one less slip in the bowl every time you draw.

Met a guy in England once. His name was ‘Pickle, Nigel Pickle’. I still can’t say that without breaking up.

Komsumverweigerer Ron

So he’s the one who wrote that letter!

beingreleased

Sessions should quit as Attorney General and run for his old senate seat in the special election.

Latverian Diplomat

He would probably win if he did that…

Johnny Appleseed

‘bammy loves Beauregard, the Turd.

beingreleased

I have no doubt he would. I meant “should” as in “that is what a sensible person would do”, not “that is what I want him to do.”

cmd resistor

I saw that Mo guy who is a GOP rep there in Alabama but running for the senate, on TV saying if Sessions gets kicked out of the AG job he would pull out of the race and would to try to talk everyone else into doing it, too, so Sessions could get his old seat back. Who knows if he’d keep his word, though. Probably depends on his poll #’s.

You know what would circumvent all of these slimy shenanigans?
If Mueller were to announce this afternoon that he has completed his investigation and will address the American people at 6 p.m.

willi0000000

Air Force One would take off at 5:30 . . . bound for anywhere . . . overloaded with passengers . . . with a gun at the pilot’s head.

Notreelyhelping

Buh-bye!

Ernestinarvictor

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BrendaKay

I’m OK with that!

Ricky Gay

Executive Decision II! Get Stevie Seagal on the line!

Komsumverweigerer Ron

‘We’re making a stop in Kentucky. Who has the keys to the vault?’

Ill-Advised

Some possibility of air turbulence, and not enough air masks against flatulence.

Notreelyhelping

How about Milwaukee Sheriff David Clarke? He’s a low-key, steady hand on the tiller guy (not that Tiller) who could probably last a week. Maybe two! At least until he starts babbling about setting up camps.

phoenix00

He might be busy making more fake medals instead of gas chambers.

Indiepalin

The trade deadline was yesterday, so in order for DHS to acquire Jeff Sessions, he would have to waived by the Justice Department and then passed on by some of the lower-funded agencies such as Commerce or HUD. Word is, HUD would love to cut high priced utility man Ben Carson, enabling them pick pick up Sessions for a song.

thegirlwiththekittentattoo

Does this mean WH=The Giants? I think they are equally tired of winning right now.

Querolous

If the Giants and the A’s were to trade rosters would anyone give a shit?

thegirlwiththekittentattoo

Right now? With the exception of Buster Posey, no. This year’s Bay Bridge Series is a contest of who sucks least. I say that as a Giants fan with a cat named Rollie purring on my lap right now. I’m gonna need therapy by the end of the season.

Querolous

I live on the OR coast and MLB blacksout SF, OAK. & SEA. I don’t mind.

Would Sessions need to agree to the move, or does Trump say “Take it, or leave it”? DHS keeps Sessions in enforcement, but differently. And he reallyreallyreallyreallyreally likes what he’s able to do at the DOJ. Maybe he’ll say “Thanks, but no thanks, and I’m staying right here until you fire me”? It would be a good way for him to give back at Trump for Trump’s Sessions-related tantrums.

Alex Ruthrauff

I think he would only have to agree with it in the sense that he doesn’t resign instead.

Relativicus

But if Sessions refuses to resign?

Even being ordered to resign is nothing more than a request. Of course, the offer or order to resign usually comes, implicitly or explicitly, with an “or you’re fired.” And usually, a person given that choice resigns for career and/or severance reasons. But Sessions loves this gig, has no other career or money worries, and Trump is said to be reluctant to fire people (plus, he would pay a high political cost, of which he may or may not have any appreciation). He may be able to stay put until Trump acts.

Another scenario has Sessions refusing DHS, and refusing to resign, and Trump fires Sessions for insubordination. And right wing media will jump to defend the firing as having nothing to do with Mueller and the rest. That Trump had been doing everything short of actually firing Sessions for weeks won’t matter much. It was insubordination! Case closed.

literally my entire life since Nov 9 is just screaming STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS YOU FUCKING IDIOTS into the internet.

roberteye

Yeah azzhat Chris Matthews host on MSNBC went on and on to the guests he was interrupting that “Mueller is an existential threat to his presidency! He’s got to fire him. It’s gonna happen.” And no sooner did Lawrence O’ mention the “recess appointment” strategy then Trump was talking about it. Since he’s obviously listening cable news etc, perhaps steer him in the other direction. Not that he doesn’t have fascist plotters who have figured this all out.

Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

Maybe this whole thing is just a Rupert Murdoch presidency.

timpundit

FaceSpacester Post from Robert Reich who I tend to take seriously.

Robert Reich

21 hrs ·

This morning I phoned my friend, a former Republican member of Congress.

Me: What’s going on? Seems like the White House is imploding, and Republicans are going down with the ship.

Him (chuckling): We’re officially a banana republic.

Me: Seriously, what are you hearing from your former colleagues on the Hill?

Him: They’re convinced Trump is out of his gourd.

Me: So what are they going to do about it?

Him: Remember what I told you at the start of this circus? They planned
to use Trump’s antics for cover, to get done what they most wanted –
big tax cuts, rollbacks of regulations, especially financial. They’d
work with Pence behind the scenes and forget the crazy uncle in the
attic.

Me: Yeah.

Him: Well, I’m hearing a different story
now. Stuff with Sessions is pissing them off. And now Trump’s hired
that horse’s ass Scaramucci — a communications director who talks dirty
on CNN! Plus Trump’s numbers are in freefall. They think he’s gonna
hurt them in ’18 and ’20.

Me: So what’s the plan?

Him: They want him outa there.

Me: Really? Impeachment?

Him: Doubt it, unless Mueller comes up with a smoking gun.

Me: Or if he fires Mueller.

Him: Not gonna happen.

Me: So how do they get him out?

Him: Put someone else up in ’20. Lots of maneuvering already. Pence, obviously. Cruz thinks he has a shot.

Me: But that won’t help them in the midterms. What’s the plan before then?

Him: Lots think he’s fritzing out.

Me: Fritzing out?

Him: Going totally bananas. Paranoia. You want to know why he fired
Priebus, wants Sessions out, and is now gunning for Tillerson?

Me: He wants to shake things up?

Him (chuckling): No. The way I hear it, he thinks they’ve been plotting against him.

Me: What do you mean?

Him: Twenty-fifth amendment! Read it! A Cabinet can get rid of a
president who’s nuts. Trump thinks they’ve been preparing a palace coup.
So one by one, he’s firing them.

Me: Yeah, but that still doesn’t tell me what Republicans are planning to do about it.

Him: Look. How long do you think it will be before everyone in
Washington knows he’s flipping out? I don’t mean just weird. I mean
really off his rocker.

Me: I don’t know.

Him: No all that long.

Me: So what are you telling me?

Him: They don’t have to plot against him. It will be obvious to
everyone that he’s got to go. That’s where the twenty-fifth amendment
really does comes in.

Me: So you think…

Him: Who knows? But he’s losing it fast. My betting is he’s out of office before the midterms. And Pence is president.

roberteye

It’s great stuff but I find the “Pence is president” a decidedly unhappy ending.

timpundit

It’s a start. But, Pence won’t last long especially with the deplorables.

ExecutorElassus

nevermind that. He’s implicated in the Russia thing. Mueller is going to have his ass.
Better still, Mueller’s probably going to have *Ryan’s* ass as well (not on collusion, instead on laundering). The way it’s going, we’re looking at President *Hatch*.

Never assume anything. Remember a large portion of the ~ 90,000,000 apathetic voters assumed Hillary was going to win and stayed home because obviously their votes were not going to matter. obviously, amirite?

BearWithPreExistingVotes

It would have to be the “Mother” of all scandals…

Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

I’d appreciate Robert Reich a lot more if he hadn’t been part of the cause of this whole thing by spewing anti-Hillary bullshit everywhere.

timpundit

Yes, I also am mad at him for that. But, I don’t know why he would make this up, and hating on hillary doesn’t make one un-serious in and of itself.

Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

I didn’t say he was making it up. I meant to say he’s part of the reason we have this ghastly President, so his complaints ring hollow to me. And honestly, I think I’d have to say that hating Hillary, which means someone’s bought the vile GOP endless lies and smears hook line and sinker, against all evidence, and has been unable to discern between a slightly flawed but phenomenal candidate, and a pile of toxic shit, does make one un-serious.

Ducksworthy

Yeah. Reich carries a lot of weight with the meth addicted clodhoppers.

What do you mean nobody told 45 that all POTUS can fly if they jump off anything taller than a 5 story building? No one explained to him that he can do that? Unbelievable!

Ducksworthy

Gravity is a liberal lie concocted by the Chinese.

Mavenmaven

Oh please, make Carson AG. They took the Mooch away from us and Carson would be comedy GOLD.

SprinklemagicResistancebuns

He and Rexxon can take naps together.

Canis Greyhame

They need to find someone dumb enough to think he can get away with borking the investigation as acting AG without putting his own dumb ass into legal jeopardy.

Yeah, Rick Perry fits the bill.

ken_kukec

Not Rick Perry — he’d forget the name of the special counsel’s office he was ‘sposed to eliminate. Oops.

ken_kukec

It’s always the family that’s pushing Trump to obstruct. What d’you suppose they know that the others don’t?

House0fTheBlueLights

All of it, Katy.

lurch394

Minor quibble: “Katy” is Tur. “Katie” is Couric. Otherwise spot on.

House0fTheBlueLights

Hah- I’m used to spelling it “K ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Bozilingus

They should move all of the Cabinet around every few months. Sort of like Musical Chairs, with the loser becoming the new Chief of Staff.

Ducksworthy

I like it although I was hoping for something involving a guillotine.

BMW

Except for the inescapable idea that maybe everyone agrees the head of DOJ needs to be a lawyer, this sounds exactly like the kind of dumb shit they would do. It also sounds like one of those dumb schemes the press floats every few years (like making Bob Dole Speaker of the House in the late 90s after he left Congress, or Biden and Hillary Clinton swapping jobs in 2012, or the Electoral College voting for Mitt Romney or John Kasich in 2016 instead of Trump) that is newsworthy only for its insanity.

Cornelius Fussbudget

You forgot: Biden convening the Senate on January 3rd, 2017 and confirming Merrick Garland.

I actually thought about that one too, but decided not to mention it because I didn’t want to get into an argument with anybody about how ridiculous it was, since there were people on here advocating for it at the time.

Cornelius Fussbudget

Hey, I got my hopes up too, that’s why I remembered it! But, yeah it was pretty ridiculous. Of course, if you said a couple of years ago that McConnell would hold up Garland’s nomination for 310 days, I would have also put that into the “dumb scheme” category, so I figured, two dumbs make a smart.

I have this dumb idea myself*, that after the Democrats are back in charge after the midterms, they’ll expand the supreme court to 11 justices. You know, in between impeaching Trump and passing single payer.

* At least, I haven’t noticed anyone else suggesting it yet

House0fTheBlueLights

So would this get around the recess appointments rules? (i.e. the Dems not letting the Senate go into recess so he can’t recess appoint anyone). And wouldn’t they STILL need Senate confirmation for the new job? I start to see why people like Leon Panetta just move from agency to agency.

Bitter Scribe

Why don’t they hold a national sweepstakes? The first prize would be a year in Trump’s Cabinet. The second prize, two years.

dshwa

What do the winners get? Asylum in Canada?

SprinklemagicResistancebuns

Where do I sign up?

Teto85

Your avatar is already Canadian. At least her voice actor is.

SprinklemagicResistancebuns

So, I’m in, yeah? Please?

Teto85

I’m not Caunckistani, but sure, why not?

whitroth

Don’t be silly! First prize is one month. Second prize is one week….

boredcatlady

“political science jedi” APPLAUSE!!! :)

Ω cynmac will never surrender

Sessions’ is in Atlanta today, speaking to the Association of Black Police Executives or som such, basically to Black chief of polices. Aside, gosh is he ever a bad, awful, very bad public speaker.
Any hoo, his public speech was Trump supports you, blah, blah, blah while in a closed session, the chiefs unloaded about their concern about Trump’s “joke” about police brutality. So good times.

Zyxomma

N-o-o-o !!!

BillEGoatSmirk

I wonder if it might actually be better to have Sessions at DHS. He’s cranking up the damage at DOJ to 11 already. Today’s newest missive is starting a working group to start harassing colleges that use any type of affirmative action that may “hurt” white applicants….and maybe if Trump pulls this stunt and puts Perry at DOJ to fire Mueller, the constitutional shit will actually hit the fan?…also, Donnie has been fucking around with the line of succession at DOJ by Executive Order. Twice since January. Not sure how that might come into play.

Ernestinarvictor

Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !at286d:
On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
!at286:
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