True Christianity isn't about right doing. It's about right believing. ◆Romans 10:9◆

Overall it seems like a great story. However, I was a bit lost in the plot. I think it had potential, but the flow of it seems difficult to follow. Sometimes it's difficult to tell what perspective the narration is coming from. The colors are there, but the image still seems a bit hazy. Nonetheless, I think it was good story. I think your overall skill as a writer is presented well in your imagery. Very nice!

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