UPDATED: Markets tanking, politics sucking

The political Death March continues. Boy, this is exciting. Equally as exciting: mayonnaise, carpet, cement and ballpoint pens.

Meanwhile, it’s a good day to be poor. That’s because the plummet in global markets today won’t make you feel suicidal.

Is it me, or does the world seem $300 billion lighter today?

The world’s markets are taking one to their collective junk today. Is the U.S. in recession? Is President Bush’s emergency recovery plan going to work? Is it enough? Or will it be raining stock brokers on Wall Street later today?

Chuck Norris hosted a fundraiser for GOP candidate Gov. Mike Huckabee, and they joked about Sen. John McCain’s age. I suspect that tactic will work as well as the “change the Constitution so we have a theocracy” approach he took in South Carolina.

Norris has reached kitsch status on the InterWebs, but we all know that Jack Bauer would shoot Chuck Norris in the leg before the old man could take off his cowboy hat.