The Official Warming Glow Fall TV Preview Drinking Game

In case you missed the ads plastered all over this webpage yesterday, last night was the season premiere of “Sons of Anarchy,” effectively beginning the Fall 2011 TV season. Old favorites will return, and as much as I’m looking forward to “Community” and “Parks and Recreation,” I also love September and October because of the new shows that hit the air.

On the next few pages, you’ll see a list of new shows, what they’re about, whether they’re for you, and to make things a little more interesting, drinking game suggestions. Because how else are you supposed to sit through an entire episode of “Whitney”? So here we go, and if all the shows look like dog poop, at least we’ve got three episodes of “Archer” to look forward to.

“Ringer” (CW, September 13, 9 p.m.)

Plot: Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar) goes on the run after witnessing a murder, taking on the identity of her identical twin sister — only to find out her sibling’s life is just as messed as up hers.

Is It for You? Does the name “Miss Kitty Fantastico” mean anything to you? If not, then you’re not the intended target audience for “Ringer.” No, not stay-at-home lesbians (although…), but rather fans of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” I can’t think of another show as dependent on a pre-existing fan base as CW/”Ringer” is with Sarah Michelle Gellar/”Buffy” fans. The pilot’s been getting decent buzz, and it may be worth checking out, if only because it’s not a show about emasculated males, a trope you’ll soon become familiar with.

Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot for every review of “Ringer” that mentions “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Is It for You? If you’re not totally convinced that Barry Bonds is a cheater and justice obstructer and all-around dick, and you feel ESPN’s “Bonds on Bonds” didn’t show the real Home Run King, and you think there’s a side of Mr. Bonds we haven’t seen before, then you should watch “H8R.”

Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time one of the celebrities says the word “jealous.”

“Up All Night” (NBC, September 14, 10 p.m.)

Plot: A couple has a baby, and they struggle to juggle the newborn with their old lives.

Is It for You? “Up All Night” has one heck of a cast. Will Arnett and Christina Applegate are the headliners, but Maya Rudolph and, um, Nick Cannon are there, too. The show was also created by Emily Spivey, whose background includes writing gigs for “Parks and Recreation” and “King of the Hill,” so that gives you the hope that it’ll be better than its dirty diapers premise. But is it for you? If you’ll watch anything with any “Arrested Development” alumni, like I will (I’ve even seen Let’s Go to Prison…more than once), then yes to “Up All Night.”

Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time poop is used as a joke. Not a poop joke, but actual poop.

“Free Agents” (NBC, September 14, 10:30 p.m.)

Plot: Two public relations executive have relations of their own, but decide (and presumably fail) to keep up a professional relationship in the office.

Is It for You? It doesn’t really matter, because as likeable as Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”), Anthony Head (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), and Joe Lo Truglio (“The State”) are, “Free Agents” is likely to be one of the first new shows canceled this fall. It’s a remake of a British comedy about PR executives looking for love, going against both “Survivor” and “The X-Factor.” I’d rather put my money on the Panthers winning the Super Bowl this season than on season two of “Free Agents.”

[Editor’s Note: I’ve seen the pilot, and I thought it was pretty damn good. So don’t listen to Josh. No one should EVER put money on the Panthers winning the Super Bowl.]

Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot for yourself when you think of the millions Azaria has made as the voice of Moe.

“2 Broke Girls” (CBS, September 19, 9:30 p.m.)

Plot: Two twentysomething waitresses (Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs) work together at a restaurant in Brooklyn, hoping to save enough money to open up a cupcake shop.

Is It for You? The prospect of watching Kat Dennings for 22 minutes every week is intriguing, and it’s likely that many “How I Met Your Mother” fans will give it a shot when the show moves to its normal 8:30 p.m. slot, but the words “twentysomething,” “Brooklyn,” and “cupcake shop” together are about as worrisome as the fact that “2 Broke Girls” was co-created by Whitney Cummings. Plus, Behrs’s character is a former socialite who has to work as a waitress because her father was indicted in a Ponzi scheme. The year 2008 would have LOVED “2 Broke Girls.” Still: Kat Dennings.

Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot every time the word “hipster” is uttered.

PS – happy to see Kirk Acevedo continuing to get work. After his awesome work in Oz & BoB (& Fringe), he deserves good things.

By: Public Frenemy

09.07.2011 @ 2:59 PM

I’m never going to watch “How To Be A Gentleman,” but I do hope it lasts for awhile, because I feel really bad for Dave Foley. We should all send him $10 for how awesome “Kids In The Hall” and “Newsradio” were.

Zooey > Emily

By: crispyaod

09.07.2011 @ 3:14 PM

I don’t think i can watch Terra Nova, can’t get past Stephen Lang playing the same exact character he played in Avatar.

By: crispyaod

09.07.2011 @ 3:15 PM

oh, and

Zooey>>Emily

By: Jimmy

09.07.2011 @ 3:26 PM

Want to love “Hell on Wheels”, but unfortunately, the pilot is a mess. It’s hard to watch gritty westerns after Deadwood, but you’re right, should give it the 5 ep treatment

thecursor, Kat Dennings nude has already been delivered. I’d link to it, but I’m at work.

B==D~~ Kat Dennings

Am I doing it right?

By: LJ

09.07.2011 @ 4:41 PM

I got the show right here. Re-shoot the Wire scene for scene but replace Wood Harris and Idris Elba with Hilary and Haley Duff.

By: Ace

09.07.2011 @ 4:47 PM

Smello, my group of BSG watching nerds was so angry at the end of Season 4 and that horseshit it turned into that I don’t think we could get the group back together, but heard nothing good about Terra Nova.

And Zooey >>>>>> Emily

By: warrenbishop

09.07.2011 @ 5:16 PM

My concern with “Terra Nova” is that they kept writing and shooting the pilot, because they had no direction for the show. Then they brought in Brannon Braga as a showrunner, but he has the ‘Reverse Midas Touch’ and finally everything that Spielberg produces follows the same tired pattern: “The difficulties of raising a family against an alien invasion/dinosaur attack etc. There are always lots of ‘precious’ kid characters and the tone of the movies/tv shows are always WAY too sentimental and schmaltzy. Don’t believe me? Check out the first few episodes of “Falling Skies”. This is going to be more of the same.

By: Spatula

09.07.2011 @ 6:39 PM

I sat threw a trailer for the new Charlie’s Angels before some movie this summer. One of the “actresses” gushed that the new show is nothing like the old show because they’re not cops or spies “or whatever,” they’re detectives. Yep, completely different — in her mind.

By: thecursor

09.07.2011 @ 6:43 PM

Thank you, Taco for being the only person to contribute to the important part of this conversation.

By: Spatula

09.07.2011 @ 6:45 PM

The advert for “Whitney” has the lead actress looking into the camera and making a snarky remark along the lines of, “Why do guys wear team jerseys watching football games. That would be like me dressing up as a dead hooker while watching “Law & Order.” My thought is, well, guys wear thouse jerseys because they identifty with a certain team. If you, Whitney, identify as a hooker, then, by all means, dress the part. Oh yeah, STFU.

By: Observerwwtdd

09.07.2011 @ 7:21 PM

warrenbishop……

…I fear you will be correct about Terra Nova……..because I did watch Falling Skies all summer long…..

…someone needs to reboot “Earth 2″…

By: Josh K.

09.07.2011 @ 8:03 PM

@warrenbishop Had Falling Skies in mind when writing about Terra Nova. *Shudder*

Zooey>Emily, any day.

By: Kazzae

09.07.2011 @ 10:50 PM

So now that I just found ou about all the shows I’m not going to watch, when will you start talking about the ones I will

Like Archer, Community, Parks and Rec, Always Sunny and Sons

Wow NBC and FX knows what i like on TV

Hot chicks. Smart jokes, taking things too far, Alisson Bries boobs

It’s like they are in my mind!

By: Androol

09.08.2011 @ 7:37 AM

Just watched New Girl. Surprisingly funny. Still hard to believe, but what can ya do.

By: kiara k

09.08.2011 @ 9:16 AM

Is It for You? It doesn’t really matter, because as likeable as Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”), Anthony Head (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), and Joe Lo Truglio (“The State”) are, “Free Agents” is likely to be one of the first new shows canceled this fall. It’s a remake of a British comedy about PR executives looking for love, going against both “Survivor” and “The X-Factor.” I’d rather put my money on the Panthers winning the Super Bowl this season than on season two of “Free Agents.”

[Editor’s Note: I’ve seen the pilot, and I thought it was pretty damn good. So don’t listen to Josh. No one should EVER put money on the Panthers winning the Super Bowl.]

Drinking Game Idea: Take a shot for yourself when you think of the millions Azaria has made as the voice of Moe.

Am I the only one who doesn’t really understand (or want to know) what this promo pic for How to be a Gentleman is supposed to be about? Other than that, the show looks like shit.

By: FSJ

09.11.2011 @ 11:41 PM

AND Cutty was easily the worst actor in The Wire. Not the worst character, but definitely the worst actor.

By: Oscar Wylde Stallyns

09.13.2011 @ 2:22 PM

So, for the plot to Terra Nova to make any sense at all, we have to assume that whoever sent these people back to a time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth intentionally never told them that all the dinosaurs died when an asteroid reduced the Earth to a smoldering rock.