Dog mom: Hi! Thanks so much for coming. I know it was last minute so we really appreciate it. Our regular sitter was booked, so when her agent said he knew someone I was so relieved. Can I offer you some Essentia water or a green juice? I picked some up from Whole Foods this morning.

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Dog sitter: Water is fine, thank you.

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Dog mom: So about Coco Bean. She’s an Azawakh mixed with a little Peruvian Inca Orchid. We think she might even have a little Stabyhoun in her but aren’t sure–she’s a rescue.

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Dog sitter: Oh?

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Dog mom: Yeah. She was found inside an abandoned house in Harlem. Harlem. Can you believe that? She was driven across the country to that new adopt and shop boutique in Brentwood and we happened to be walking by one day, saw her in the window, and I just knew she had to come home with us.

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Dog sitter: Wow. That’s so great.

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Dog mom: She’s a sweet dog, love her to death, but you have to keep an eye on her. I have found her on our brand-new Restoration Hardware couch too many times, and she certainly knows she's not allowed on it, or any other furniture… isn't that right Coco Bean my schweetie weetie?

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Dog mom: She’s also not allowed on any rugs, in our bedroom, the downstairs or upstairs bathrooms or the kitchen, and she’s definitely not to be trusted in the formal dining room. Got it?

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Dog sitter: Absolutely.

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Dog mom: Oh, almost forgot. She doesn’t do stairs. You’ll have to carry her up and down them when she requests it.

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Dog sitter: Certainly.

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Dog mom: Coco’s on a very strict diet–no beef, soy, chicken, lamb, wheat, yeast, dairy, corn, fish or egg products. Any meat she eats must be hormone free, antibiotic free and absolutely can't come from an animal fed on a feedlot.

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Dog sitter: Can she ea-

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Dog mom: I get her this really great food from a local vendor at our farmer’s market. Milo just really understands rare breeds and makes her a specialty artisan mix of bison and venison–she loves it. It’s in the fridge. One and half cups twice a day.