Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I've been cleaning out my closets lately and finding the stashes of gifts I have yet to lug off to Goodwill. It got me thinking about teacher gifts again. Here are a few dandies that I've found online that you might want to consider. I don't mean consider as a gift for someone...

just consider.

Chubby Nuts the Dog

Seriously?

Chubby?

Nuts?

Mimosa Soap

For the teacher who wants to smell like they've been drinking before school.

Giant Wooden Pencil

Just in case you want to record some big ideas.

Teaching is my Bag Tote

Alternative saying:

Don't Bag on me for Carrying this Stupid Tote. I'm a Teacher.

Grow Your Own Brain Plant

If only...

Chubby Nuts the Horse

How many times do we have to say this?

Teachers should not get chubby nuts from their students. Period.

Bumblebee Numbers

Is it me, or does this bee seem genuinely surprised to be crapping out numbers?

Books and Learning Stainless Steel Flask

Just tell your principal that little Billy would be hurt if he didn't see you using it.

7 comments:

I needed that!! I'm still laughing! Apparently, someone buys this stuff or it wouldn't be out there, right? I can actually say that I have never received any of those gifts, but I have had some that would fit in the same category.

One of my favorite ones was actually the bag it came in and not the gift. The outside was really pretty with pink and blue designs and it said, "Congrats, it's a girl!" Ummm, not pregnant, unless she knew something I didn't or was making a future prediction!

Love the dog and the horse, but probably need the flask the most! My college roomie student-taught in an elementary school. She received the most unattractive deviled egg platter for Xmas. I think she still has it all these years later, 'cause of the singular homeliness of the thing. I mean, who uses a special platter (with little egg-shaped holes for the deviled eggs, of course!) for deviled eggs? BTW, it's that time of week again--please drop on in for a little Silly Summer Sunday Sweepstakes. You have 2 chances to play!

Oh Edna Lee! Don’t toss that giant pencil away! When kids are tardy to our classes, they have to sign in on a tardy sheet. I have one of those humongous pencils attached to the clip board. It serves two purposes--(1) it's difficult for the kiddos to walk off with my writing utencil and (2) it's easy to notice who comes in late when they're using the gargantuan pencil. ;-)

These were really cute! I think I'd love to have they chubby nuts animals. Maybe we should have a teacher gift swap and we could all trade for something we like better. :) The strangest gift I had was when a parent asked me to walk with her to her car out the back gate of the school. When she opened up her trunk, she had a case of Budweiser for me as gratitude for helping her son graduate. Sadly, I told her I couldn't take such a wonderful gift or I would lose my job.

Seriously,

This is not a serious blog. Any people, places or things I am writing about are either a figment of my imagination or used fictitiously. If any coincidentally seem like real people, places or things you know of, then that just proves what an insightfully creative writer I really am!

Or, that I lack insight altogether. One or the other...

Either way, it is just as I said: a coincidence.

Furthermore, if I happen to mention any web sites or products that I love, but then you try them and think they stink, I am not responsible for their stinkiness. Despite the fact that you may have found them stinky, I hope you'll still keep reading. I'd be lonely without you.