and idk what it was. the parents were driving through town, so we went to woody's (best god-damned middle eastern food in the world, btw) with lisa and eric. de-fricken-licious. i could eat spicy falafel every day for the rest of my life.
anyways.. when they dropped me back at the dorm, i just felt great. and i still do, like an hour later.

i just keep reliving those little snippets of friday night and saturday morning that make me smile.

forehead kisses from ken... tickling... pouting and scooching away when he "lies" to me, and him pulling me back in closer... "what are you thinking right now?"... his attempts at arabic... that creepy wolf poster on his wall... him sneaking his feet next to mine... impromptu back scratches... the magnetic nametag... "i like your hair like that"... moving just a tiny bit to interrupt his snoring... his freaking out that he snores... knowing that a night watching him sleep is far better than a night spent sleeping... tucking just a tiny bit of hair behind my ear... those honey-brown eyes so close-up that i can't see anything else.
our whole relationship is a thousand times more intimate than anything i've had since the early days of marcus/me, and about a hundred times more innocent.

i can't get enough of it.

and i know putting these in here seems silly and wasteful... but if they, even once, spur up these same feelings at another time when i'm feeling like poo... that's all i need for justification. i want to remember how it feels to be this way.

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
. coldplay . yellow .

it's kind of like how i very seriously considered getting back with marcus late this summer. i just kept thinking of all the great times we had together. the hilarious chemistry we have. the drives we've been on. naps w/ my face nuzzled into that sweet spot. dying our hair in calvin's community bathrooms from the same box. learning to drive a stick in holy spirit's parking lot. wiping out in front of a car while rollerblading. playing chef for him. after-school visits.
it's the best way to put it: the little snippets flow through my mind like a slideshow. a slideshow of happiness.
sorry. cut the cheese, i know.

but i can't help it.

it's invigorating.

i think about you all the time
but i don't need the same
. goo goo dolls . name .