Writing on the pages of my book, because life is a story

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Monthly Archives: December 2015

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It was a project I started unintentionally in January with the aim of using my watercolour set to capture what that first month of 2015 meant to me. Somehow it continued through 12 months of ups and downs – small catchphrases that summed up 4 week interludes; brief snapshots of an unfolding story.

2015 has been better than 2014 – not that that was difficult. If I’m honest, it was a little bland overall. Nothing huge changed, I achieved quite a few of the things I aimed to achieve but I started out at such a low point that I didn’t really have time to make sense of anything or plan.

It’s been a middling year; a season in which the primary aim was for time to pass and wounds to heal. Sometimes, time just has to take its course without my plans or expectations getting in its way. 2015 carved its own course with little steering or focus from me and on reflection, that has set me up well for 2016.

If nothing else, 2015 has taught me how to relinquish some control over the direction of my life. It has taught me to live each day as it comes – not that I have mastered that quite yet(!) – and it has taught me that time brings with it its own challenges and hidden delights. Like a stream that picks up, carries and deposits the pebbles and debris it encounters, time continues to flow no matter what you try to do to stop or divert it, accommodating whatever life moments it stumbles across.

My aim for this month was to Look Up and Anticipate 2016 and I definitely enjoyed this time. I celebrated with friends and family in lots of ways from parties to carol singing to ice skating. I also read and re-read the Christmas story, which means so much more than the revelry, and I’ve given myself time to ponder the coming year so that the joy of anticipation isn’t lost in fairly lights and Lebkuchen.

I’m not expecting huge things from 2016 other than what the passing of time naturally presents – and I think I’m ok with that. I want to bake more, I want to have more time to myself, I want to read more and I want to move more towards that wonderful Hawaiian lifestyle we were privileged to experience in March. Here’s to hoping that the islands who gave birth to my name will pervade in 2016 with hellos, goodbyes, love and hospitality: Aloha 2016.

The role of a grandmother brings with it a legacy to pass on to the women who follow.

The grandfather leads by example in life skills, in faith and in strength. The grandmother nurtures, she teaches how to listen, to be gentle, humble and gracious and to be a woman filled with faith. The grandfather takes on responsibility for the wellbeing of his family, for making decisions and for ensuring that he walks alongside his family, not dragging them behind. He invests his very soul into praying for every individual member of the generations who follow and encourages his wife to do the same. The grandmother is wise, she guides through her intuition and leads her husband in a way that does not intrude on who he is. She prays with all her might, inspires and gently encourages all whom she meets.

Both, together, serve one another and take delight in discipling their children and grandchildren. As a team they walk as one and as old age takes hold of them both they continue to put the other’s needs first – enticing a smile or a laugh and making sure the other’s heart is content so that they can be a shining light to others.

In all of these things, my grandparents were the lifeblood of our family. They fulfilled their roles in their very beings because at their core they had faith. Their every breath was an inspiration and now that they are both at home with the Lord, I miss them greatly. I am determined with all of my might to continue the legacy they gave us.

December is always dominated by Christmas and this year was the first in many years where my family have all woken up in the same house on Christmas day. It was nice. Sad because the reason we were together was because we didn’t need to split the family between Germany and England any more but it was nice. It was quiet.

As it should be, this month has been about celebrating and spending time with friends and family. From carol singing and parties to ice skating and eating lots of cheese, December has thankfully been fairly uneventful. It also means that I’ve had a bit of time to take stock and figure a few things out ahead of the New Year.

This Christmas time, I am thankful that Jesus came to this earth so that we could have hope: hope in our earthly lives as well as hope for an eternal life on a perfect, restored earth, with no more tears, death or suffering. What complete joy.

I turn 30 next year and it has suddenly dawned on me why age has mattered so much to me. When I was in my teens I dreaded having a teenager myself, not because I was so unruly as a teen (I hope!) but because I thought I would be jealous of their youth and the life moments they had yet to experience.

But it has only just dawned on me that it has never been their age and experiences in and of themselves that I would be jealous of – I know and am happier with myself now than I ever have been and I don’t particular want to re-live ‘growing up’. It is the naive dreaming and the world lying in front of them and the NEW experiences that I realised I never wanted to lose. The joy in this realisation is that while you can’t stop time from passing, you CAN keep dreaming and having new experiences!

So I’m starting now. Before I even turn 30. Because it’s never too late to start dreaming again.

November was a month of sadness, of deep prayer and of reflection on life as we mourned the loss of our wonderful Oma. She is with her Saviour so we are assured that she is experiencing a peace we can only imagine, so through our grief we can learn how to take what she meant to us and continue to live out her legacy.

Above all, that’s what I want to remember this Christmas month. That I have an incredible heritage of faith and love and I want that to remain a strong part of who I am.

>Reflections<

Get on top of work. I may not have had two plane journeys but I have had time to prepare for what’s next at work. My brain is starting to untangle and that leaves me close to being able to let out the breath I’ve been holding for six months, for which I’m very thankful.

Finish my book. Many long train journeys helped me complete this and I loved the escape. I’ve even downloaded some more books as I remember how much it relaxes me to read!

Bake. I baked once, so technically achieved this. Christmas requires some kitchen adventures though so more of this to come I hope.

>Hopes<

Look up. Christmas is all around us. I want to stop watching my feet and look up, both at the crisp weather, the sparkle and the joy around me, as well as the Saviour whose birth we remember. I want to read and reflect on his birth and take time to grasp why we have the hope that we have.

Anticipate 2016. Anticipation is underrated. There is excitement, possibility, adventure and fulfilment bundled up in this package of looking ahead. It’s not always realised, but I love to plan, to think about where we’re going and walk into the New Year with my husband and my hopes aligned.

That’s it. December is about being in the moment and anticipating the joy of a New Year. I will also be considering a different way of setting myself goals that really capture things I want to change or keep on track of, for my own well-being and the contentment of those I love.

It’s safe to say that November wasn’t what I’d anticipated. It was sad. Losing a grandparent is such a huge loss, of wisdom, of laughter, of childhood. My Oma was the best grandma I could ever have asked for and her funeral was the greatest celebration of faith and love that anyone could hope for when their earthly breath leaves them. We know she is in the presence of the Lord she served her whole life and this in turn means we can rejoice, even through our tears.

The rest of November blurs in comparison. Our family changed this month. We will miss her.