Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

(I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

Son: “Pleeeaase?”

Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

Mother: “Is there violence?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there shooting?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there blood?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

Son: “But I want it!”

Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

Son:*sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

(I’m a woman in her 20s, and I look quite young. A group of men in their 30s have come in, having booked a minivan for a trip to the Czech Republic.)

Me: “…and here’s your rental agreement. It states that the car is a diesel, but please check yourself at the gas station, because the computer-provided data about the cars have been known to be wrong.”

Me: “Certainly not, but such mistakes happen more often you’d like to think. I’m only saying this to avoid you having to pay for any damages, or simply having a broken car in the middle of your trip.”

Customer: “Well, you’re a girl, so I’m not surprised you don’t know that the type of fuel the car requires is written on the gas refilling hole. I’m not surprised you know nothing about cars; it’s a man thing and requires some technical knowledge.

Me: “Okay then. Have a nice trip and be safe!”

(The customers go out to the parking lot. I can see them fidgeting with the remote, and have some trouble just opening the car. Once inside, I see them pushing various buttons on the radio and still not driving out of the parking lot. After several minutes, the customer I’ve spoken with comes back in.)

(I am a cashier at a retail store, keeping an eye on the self-checkout area. I am not supposed to ring up customers on the machines, only assist whenever there’s a problem. A woman comes up to me with a few items.)

Customer: “Hi, you need to ring me up.”

Me: “This is the self-checkout. The ladies over there would be happy to take you if you don’t want to use the machines.”

Customer: “This is self-checkout?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, I hate these self-check things. Can’t you just ring me up at that register there?”

(She points at a computer monitor, lying on the floor near the garbage cans, with a large crack easily visible across the screen. I think she’s joking but realize she’s serious.)

Me: “Um. No, I can’t, sorry. If you don’t want to use the self-checkout, the cashiers right behind us can—”

(I’m working box office today, and it’s been a really long, busy day. After so many hours, the registers sometimes lag a bit during transactions. We’re finally slowing down a bit, and the lines are pretty much gone.)

Me: “Alright, so you wanted two tickets for Silver Linings Playbook?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I hit the buttons for her tickets, but the computer freezes up a bit.)