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Mike Meltser. The man, the myth, the enigma. How can a guy who’s as bright as he is have such wretched taste in movies?

For the uninitiated, I’m a movie guy. Not the kind that can recite lines, but the kind that references them in casual conversation. That’s how I learned that Mike has lived a life sheltered from some great movies. After 3 months of working with Mike and roughly 134 movie references that I watched sail over his head I decided to act. Each week I bring him what I – and most red blooded American men – would consider to be classic guy movies. This hasn’t gone as smoothly as I had hoped. For example on a scale of 1-10, Mike has stunned me by giving Pulp Fiction a 6, Die Hard a 5.5, and The Big Lebowski a 6.5. I almost walked out of the studio on Monday morning not long ago when Mike gave Academy Award winner Rocky a 6.5 saying that Adrian “annoyed him” and that the movie “dragged” a bit.

With each new movie brings new hope. This weekend he’s watching Saving Private Ryan. I’d be willing to bet body parts that the first thing he says on the air during his review is “it was a bit too long for me.”

(Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures)

Regardless I will forge ahead in an effort to make Mike Meltser a more well-rounded person for both his sake and ours. Who knows on a show in the near future, you may hear him pontificating on the Rockets pursuit of Dwight Howard talking about Daryl making the Magic “an offer they can’t refuse.” That would be a big win for everybody.