Why Is G-d Rejecting Me?

I feel like G‑d is rejecting me. I try to do good things—really I do, but I seem to fail miserably at them. I’ll give you a few examples. I invited a couple for Shabbat dinner, and they didn’t show up. I spoke to them right before Shabbat, and theyI try to do good things, but I seem to fail miserably
said they that were coming. No show, no explanation, no apology. I sent a check
to a charity, and the check bounced (on a technicality), even though I had
enough money in the account. Another example: I put my name on the list for
people who were interested in volunteering to help organize a fun day for kids,
and they never called me. It’s like G‑d is saying, “I don’t
want your mitzvot; I don’t want your good deeds. Can you get any lower than being rejected by G‑d?

Rebuffed

Dear Mitzvah-Seeker,

It’s so refreshing to read about someone who is depressed because she is prevented from doing good, rather than someone who is depressed because they’re prevented from doing bad. G‑d wants us to build a world full of kindness, and I have no doubt that He is very pleased with your efforts. And you, too, will reap benefit from them because all we can do is make an effort; the results are in the hands of G‑d.

You seem to think you haven’t done these mitzvahs, but youAll we can do is make an honest effort
actually have. Someone who tries to do a mitzvah and is prevented from completing it gets credit for the mitzvah as if he or she had done it. Of course, beyond the reward, you would like to see the satisfaction of the mitzvah being fulfilled and helping accomplish tikkun olam. But G‑d often has other plans for reasons we cannot fathom, and we have to learn to accept His reality.

Here are a few reasons that might account for your not being able to complete your worthy aspirations:

Each one of us comes to this world with a heavenly “To Do” list. We have things we must accomplish and things other people must accomplish. To prevent us from doing things on other people’s lists and help focus on our own, we are given certain limitations. Sometimes these limitations are physical, sometimes mental or emotional, sometimes financial, and sometimes even other people are involved in keeping you on track. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t
invite people for Shabbat or volunteer or give tzedakah, but when it doesn’t work out, it means it wasn’t meant to. Think of it like runners in a race. If they weren’t limited by the boundaries of the track, they would be running forever off-course, never reaching the finish line.

Sometimes, G‑d wants us to make an even greater effort that we are doing, either to reap greater reward or to flex our character building muscles. By having to go the extra mile, we are paving the way for future greater successes. This seems contradictory to the first reason, so how do we know which one it is? We don’t. We do the best we can, and then we leave it up to G‑d.

Sometimes, what we’re meant to work on isn’t doing kindness, but how we react when we’re prevented from doing it. Do we take it as a personal affront, disappointed that the world isn’t running according to our will? Or do we accept that everything that happens is G‑d’s will and part of a master plan, and it is our mitzvah to accept it? How we react to frustration, disappointment and glitches in our lives, especially when we are trying to do what we believe G‑d
wants of us, helps mold us into servants of G‑d, serving G‑d with complete faith that He knows what’s best for us.

Ask yourself if you’re doing this kindness at the expense of someone else who needs it more. Should you be spending more time with your family instead of volunteering? Could the money you wanted to donate to charity be used to help a down-and-out relative or neighbor? Is there someone needier of a Shabbat invitation? Even charitable deeds work on a hierarchy, and charity begins at home, with those closest to you. So, maybe the mitzvot you are trying to do should be directed a little differently.

There are many other reasons, but whatever they are, they’re all good.Learn to focus on your intentions
Learn to focus on your intentions and efforts, and not necessarily the results
of your actions. Keep them focused on becoming closer to G‑d. If you do the best you can, even a little extra and surrender the outcomes to G‑d, then you will be happy doing kindness whatever the physical outcome, and the spiritual outcome will be only for the good.

Far from G‑d rejecting you, I am sure you are one of His favorite people, which is why He is challenging you to climb even higher to reach greater spiritual heights. King Solomon wrote in his book of Proverbs, “For a righteous man can fall seven times and rise.”

It seems that like most of us, you have taken things personally. Your Shabbat dinner event: it seems their intention was to be there, yet something happened that they could not come and were uncomfortable sharing the events with you. You took it as rejection, but it seems clear that something did happen, but not to you. You could pray that it will be good for them. You could be thankful that You are in good place yourself.

The check, perhaps the LORD is telling you: Not this charity, there is someone closer to you that you, that needs this gift. The same goes for donating you time.

Make sure that your reasons for doing a thing are not for you. Then trust the LORD for HE KNOWS what HE is doing, and it is always for the best. We will most likely not understand until HE makes it clear to us.

Example: In Exodus 9, Moses is the messenger, so for-telling of the Hail to the court, Moses does not want any hurt, so there is a warning to bring in man and beast that they not die. Some heard.
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AnonymousFebruary 15, 2019

Add a comment... A person can only try so hard, for so long, for so many times. But the "rejections" builds up. Sooner or later we get the message. I know, I know, we learn that Gd doesn't give us anything we can't handle - is that really true ??? Where did that idea come from - what's the source?Sometimes I think that Gd pushes us just a bit too hard. Our generation just can't.
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YochananFebruary 15, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

Shalom,

I think you need to read or speak to people who have been through a lot and looked back and seen the Hand of G-d in the situation.

Each task is a there for reasons that we don't really understand but what the ultimate lesson is to find Mercy and Compassion and these tasks do just that if you believe in G-d or follow Torah.

This is where emunah comes into the situation, ask some who were in auschwitz how they maintained their belief in G-d while in that situation. Viktor Frankl writes about this.

When it’s feeling like it’s a bit much, daven and lean on Hashem. It sounds simple, and it can be hard, but it is totally worth it. It’s worked for me in dark times.

Every generation has a potential moshiac, a person with a soul like the patriarchs and matriarchs, the greats, reighteous, etc. It may seem bleak at times, but Hashem won’t make us do something we can’t do. A few parshot ago I read in the commentary that Hashem directed the newly-liberated Israelites via an indirect path because the direct path meant war and He knew they would go back to Mitzrayim. That’s right - He knew they wouldn’t, so He didn’t. He wouldn’t. He’s good.

The simple (but not easy) answer is to trust and love Hashem, trust and love your people, and to trust and love yourself. Love Hashem with every ounce you can muster (at first that can feel hard, but He is wonderful so it grand you will make it). Hashem is not cruel. You can trust Him. He loves you.
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one should address the Theme concerning being harassed, whether it is G-d who rejects ones or, whether it is the System in which one lives that is rotten, and especially, how can it be the i.e. Satan seems to prevail and G-d to be absent, that is exactely what seems to have happened at the Time of i.e. Job and many others, and one can see that G-d is missing when there is a Lack of Goodness and Strenght, of inner Happiness and outer Happiness, both at the Level of Intention (spiritually) and of Extentions (materially); this is a universal Understanding to be aknowledged by everyone (G-d's living sentient Works of Art); Blessings
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AnonymousAshlandFebruary 13, 2019

Perhaps there is something to be learned from Cain. "Genesis 4:6 And the LORD said unto Cain: 'Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? 7 If thou doest well, shall it not be lifted up? and if thou doest not well, sin coucheth at the door; and unto thee is its desire, but thou mayest rule over it.'"

There are two points in this reply. The first is that doing something just to be following a path or set of actions; did not work so well for Cain. Cain just did an offering, while Able: thought about it, planned, selected the most precious to give. The results of the two types is in the Written Torah. Second, Make sure that you actually are keeping The LORD's LAWS, COMMANDMENTS and Teachings. HE is the judge, declared where is LAWS maybe found. Also, "Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you." It is your choice, but HE made it very clear.
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It took me a while to realize. Sometimes the good deeds we fail at are the ones where we have a little bit of 'self' invested. Somehow we want to do that particular good deed to that particular person because we get something tangible or intangible from it. Some good deeds are a little more glamorous. Yet often the ones we do successfully accomplish are the ones that we don't necessarily want to do but to which we have committed ourselves, the ones we see as drudgery or a thankless favor and we don't recognize the light that we accomplished because that's not always revealed to us in this world. But if we think clearly we realize that this may be -and if we're honest with ourselves, we know- that this is what is- really meaningful, this is what H-shem really wanted.
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Zahava BocaFebruary 12, 2019

Sorry to hear. I hope my words help, I don't have 100 years of wisdom, who does. I have had these experiences, so have many people. You can continue as you are or try helping in another way.I like intention, it is vey much part of the plan. Great intentions will make you feel better regardless of someone else.#3 is a great point. Kind people can be sensitive people, maybe you need to be kind but a different type of sensitive.

We have to remember that ultimately everything is for best - the couple may be needed more to be alone than being invited and you can "give charity" by being generous and make them feel good, instead of guilty, next time you see them!
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YochananFebruary 10, 2019

Shalom,

this used to happen to me and still does - sometimes. So whats the solution.

There is an article by Jonathan Sacks - Listen Really Listen. Its a very powerful article about how we relate to The good G-d and what He asks of us.I began to listen, really listen many years ago and what I learnt was that any difficulty i had was an opportunity to learn.

So if things didn't happen how I expected them to and yet its what G-d has instructed us via Torah, then i would get upset and think i am useless etc. But what was really happening was that I was being asked to learn. In this situation things were just not happening, I had many problems and it seemed as though G-d was not listening when actually it was me who was too afraid to listen to G-d.
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