I'm planning to go to one in my area. Usually about 6-10 people each month. No idea what to expect, I'm just desperate for support. Amazingly, none of my close friend have veen through this--although both my sister and sister in law have done, and are both D. It's a little raw for both of them, so I'm trying not too lean too too hard....

So any thoughts, experiences, reflections (given that all meetings and locations will differ) would be gratefully appreciated. Thanks.

Yes, I found it to be a great help to speak with others who understand. I made some great friends who I keep in touch with. I highly recommend it!

Married 20 years
No children
Admitted texting and phone affair 2-09 TT until 4-09,found out PA. They dated in High School. PA lasted 7 months
We're in R after a very long road.
I will never be "over it" and don't know if I will ev

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jun 2009

wreck3d♂ 36536Member # 36536

Posted: 10:41 AM, October 7th (Sunday), 2012

I encourage you to go. I was extremely nervous leading up to it and tried to talk myself out of it countless times, but it was an incredibly positive experience that made me almost feel good for 3 hours. It helps a lot to be in the presence of others that have felt the same pain and truly understand what you are saying. It seemed like no matter what I said, they all shook their heads saying "yeah, been there, seen that, I know how it feels".

It also helps to see that while there are many similarities in everyone's stories, there are also differences that make you stop and think "wow, not only is my story not unique, there a lot of 'other' things that could have happened that at least I'm not having to deal with".

In my case, I was the only male at the meeting, so I kinda felt like I was crashing the party, but they couldn't have made me feel more welcome and I'm very thankful I went. Meeting face to face with others in various stages of R, some divorced, some dealing with multiple A's, it just gives you so much information and knowledge and all in a personal setting that makes a huge difference. The real hugs are worth it alone. :)

If you are on the fence about it at all, please just try to get yourself to attend that first meeting and I think you'll be very, very thankful you did. Good luck.

BS(me)36
WW 34
3 DDs..11,10,8
M: July 1998
D-Day: August 9,2012

Posts: 75 | Registered: Aug 2012

starstruck♀ 29547Member # 29547

Posted: 12:27 PM, October 7th (Sunday), 2012

So glad to hear all the good support from BAN. I am trying to get to a meeting in my area. Even though I am 2 years out-still feel the need for support.
Hugs would be good!!

DDay 7/29/2010
Am hoping to reconcile!! Am I crazy or what?
If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves-Thomas Edison

Posts: 326 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Pa

larac123♀ 32088Member # 32088

Posted: 3:35 PM, October 7th (Sunday), 2012

while we are on the subject..i thought about going to their take your life back seminar..anybody been?

Bw-me 30's
FWh-30's
d-day- second week of jan.2011
we are working on R and so far so good...not..divorced him!
I know how to spell..my fingers just dont like to.
The grass is greener because its sitting on a septic tank.

Posts: 417 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Larac123

wreck3d♂ 36536Member # 36536

Posted: 11:03 AM, October 8th (Monday), 2012

I'd be interested in any feedback about the seminar as well.

I was so lost in the first week after d-day and I inquired about the seminar, but my email was forwarded directly to Anne and she told me that I wasn't ready for it yet. I'm pretty sure that was sound advice and showed me they weren't just trying to take my money.

I went to my first meeting last month. It was awesome. You feel safe around those you relate to you. There were 5 people in the group. We were all new and each spent 20-30 minutes telling our stories. The leader of the group was amazing. She gave such great advice. She is 22 months into this and is so strong and encouraging. I walked out of there realizing how important it is to stay focused on making me happy. I look forward to going to another meeting and I highly suggest you go if you have the opportunity to attend a meeting.

BW-32
FWH- 33
2 DD
Status - Working on it
d-day- April 21, 12

Posts: 180 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Southeast

sadsad♀ 24400Member # 24400

Posted: 2:53 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013

Sorry, wrong post

[This message edited by sadsad at 3:08 AM, October 21st (Monday)]

Married 20 years
No children
Admitted texting and phone affair 2-09 TT until 4-09,found out PA. They dated in High School. PA lasted 7 months
We're in R after a very long road.
I will never be "over it" and don't know if I will ev

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jun 2009

cantaccept♀ 37451Member # 37451

Posted: 5:03 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013

I wish there was one in my area. Unfortunately I contacted the one listed and no one ever replied.

"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

Divorced!

Posts: 1959 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut

momoffive♀ 27352Member # 27352

Posted: 5:34 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013

I go to one in our local area. There are now 7 of us all with different but ultimately the same stories. We go around and each share where we are at... struggles, successes, it's a wonderful place to know you are safe to share what's on your heart with others who understand. We are at different stages in healing but all share the same goal.

These ladies are some of my dearest friends and I know I can reach out to them 24/7. We typically meet once a month, sometimes twice over the winter months.

I found a BAN group in my area and sent an email asking fir info. Heard back from someone who asked my story (is anyone else tired of telling it like me). Said I'd get on a mailing list and they usually meet once a month. Not sure that ill hold my breath. Communication is sparse

I would love to go to a meeting but there are none in my area, but I do receive their newsletter and listen to the recorded telephone seminars. They were my first online source of help on this rollar coaster ride I'm on and then I found SI.

Wish there was some sort of support group here, finding ones for cancer, death and stuff like that but nothing for infidelity.

Thankful for close friends and online support like here

Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013

Drowninginitall♀ 40968Member # 40968

Posted: 10:39 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013

Wow thanks for this information. I need to find if this is available in my area. I know alanon help me immensely during and after my husband's addiction to drugs and alcohol came out. It would be a huge support to find other people in real life were going through the same things.

Posts: 146 | Registered: Oct 2013

Drowninginitall♀ 40968Member # 40968

Posted: 10:43 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013

So I found out this isn't available in my area. Does anyone know of anything similar in the New England area?