Jersey Shore’s very own Snooki brought her homegrown guido glamour to Florida’s Seminole Hard Rock last night to host a “Fist Pumping Competition” at club Opium. Also seen at Opium last night was Gay Al Reynolds who showed up in assless leather pants, a tub of Crisco and a very, very confused look on his precious face.

TMZ says that Snookisaurus was paid $10,000 to get drunk at the club. Hopefully, Snickers uses some of that cash to invest in a Bumpit. Recently Snooki proudly proclaimed that she keeps her poof (not to be confused with this poof) poofy without the help of a Bumpit. But look at that weepy thing on her head. It looks like a year-old shower puff that has been trampled on by a hippo and attacked with a world rockin’ grenade. It desperately needs the support of a Bumpit. Nobody can bump it like a Bumpit. Well, Lindsay Lohan can, but that’s a different kind of bump.

Here’s more of Willy Wonka’s favorite wet dream girl destroying me over and over again with her constant abuse of the duckface. Speaking of destroyed faces, that bouncer’s “Fuck My Life” face says it all. Dude is definitely calling DeVry this morning.

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