Accumulated nonsense from one arrow's journey through time and space

August 2008

08/31/2008

Welp, the old buzzard had her 95th birthday celebration today. Last time we tried to light all 94 candles and the fire ended up melting the icing and getting wax everywhere as we were trying to light all the candles without putting any of the others out. This year she only got one candle, and her wish was for another 100 years. *sigh*

The entire family came, even my older sister and her family who flew in from D.C. On the way to grandma's house, I volunteered to driver my sister's kids. Nikki hooked up her ipod and started going through songs. "Do you know this? or this? or this? how about this?" It was whiney little Disney pop. Then that little princess had the nerve to say "Here, let me see if I have anything old. How about Pink? She's from your time, right?"

08/17/2008

08/11/2008

Big dude and his girlfriend purchasing two wine glasses, a bottle of chardonnay and a box of extra large condoms. Now that's a romantic evening.

Lamest excuse for not being social:

"Sorry hun, I have to go home and iron my new bed ruffle." Sadly, that one came from me.

An engagement or two:

A friend got engaged after dating her boyfriend for two whole months.

This evening at dinner, the guy at the table next two us dropped down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend. They were so cute. The whole family was scattered around the restaurant and came out with roses and balloons as soon as she said yes. Aww.

A divorce:

I divorced my faux internet husband after a year and a month of indifferent bliss. A certain superstitious someone said that it was bad luck, so that's over. He's such a sweet guy though-- I'd probably date him in real life if we knew each other better. Here's hoping for the real thing <3

Lesson learned:

Measure twice, hammer once. In this case, there was no measuring-- just hammering. On the bright side, there are now curtains in my bedroom... even if they are a bit crooked.

Accomplishment of the weekend:

I accidentally stumbled across a dance studio that offers classes I've been wanting to take for a ridiculously reasonable price. And there's an accent reduction class being offered at a local school... I wonder if they're hiring... hmm

08/09/2008

This might sound a little ridiculous, but I get offended when I hear "we won first place in x sport!" when referring to a U.S. victory... as if they actually expect me to cheer for the U.S. when my people are competing too.

08/07/2008

Let's see here, what is this? Number seven or maybe eight? It's hard to remember since all the others happened when I was sixteen and had the wrong eye prescription which resulted in a bunch of accidents. Stupid astigmatism.

Anyway, my poor little tiny Toyota got rear-ended by a massive Ford Expedition... while we were both stopped at a red light. Seriously though, who does that? At least he was insured. Damages: one crunched bumper, one broken nail, one cramped wrist, and a swollen shoulder. Ugh.

There's an opportunity to go to DC within the next month (is it sad that whenever "DC" is mentioned these days, I think "distribution center" rather than "omg politics!" This instance refers to the latter), but it all hinges on finding a place to crash.

Of course I'm being a big baby about it and leafing through the etiquette book trying to see if there's some non-rude, non-imposing way to invite myself over to a friend's place... *awkward*

08/02/2008

So today was the day I was supposed to run away to the beach to get away from it all... buuuuuut I had too much to do so I only made it as far as the pool. How sad is that? On the bright side, I managed to read all of Alice in Wonderland out by the pool without getting sun burned or splashed by screeching little brats. I don't even remember what I was going to run away from...

It's such a wonderful little book. How can it not be with lines like these:

"Be what you would seem to be'-- or if you'd like it put more simply--'Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.' 'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.' 'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied in a pleased tone."

or my absolute favorite:

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?' 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the cat. 'I don't much care where--' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you walk,' said the cat. '--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation. 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the cat, 'if you only walk long enough."

Love it. That one is soon to be framed-- it's already set and illustrated, it just literally needs a frame so it can go on the wall.

The most interesting stories are the ones where the protagonists don't know what the hell's going on and they're just going with the flow. Alice. Forrest. Joel and Clementine. How many opportunities are overlooked when a person is too stubborn to stray from "the plan?" I've been a planner forever. It seems like I'm the only person in the family who has this super recessive gene present. The rest of them (mom's family) just float about and do whatever they want.

On a related note, I had the best dream ever last night-- pushing stroller through a beautiful park in Europe. That's such a better place to raise children... longer maternity leaves, more vacation time... signing the papers at work, maternity was actually under the "short term disability" category. One of the bosses here returned to work THREE DAYS after giving birth. "Pro family values" my ass. Ugh. Pretty sure the American Dream isn't to become a workaholic.

A cat adopted me today. It's been following me from the apartment, to the pool, to the car and back to the apartment while meowing the entire time (hours). Poor thing's probably hungry, but why me? There are plenty of other people walking around who probably aren't allergic to cats and would be willing to feed her. *shrug*