Ever since we peeped Harper’s Bazaar UK’s supermodel-adorned December issue, we’ve been waiting for the accompanying music FILM. Oh, yes, the ’90s supes—namely Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Helena Christensen, Eva Herzigova, and Yasmin Le Bon—were not only shot for the cover of the mag, they have a whole spread and it’s all part of the MEGA (META) MUSIC VIDEO, “Girl Panic”, for the MEGA BAND Duran Duran shot by video kingpin Jonas Akerlund. This nine minute explosion of fashion, music, and supAHmodel mayhem is finally here, and we’ve dissected it in its entirety. But before we begin, we have a little history to discuss…

Yes, these photos look slightly weird and out of place, and they should. They’re from the ’80s! It should be known that Duran Duran ORIGINATED the whole models starring in videos thing. At the beginning of their music career, they were well-known in Europe but had yet to break into the U.S. market, and it was their stylish videos (featuring models) which caught the eye of MTV, which was then in its infancy. MTV put Duran Duran’s vids in heavy rotation, and the band and the network both experienced marked success. Videos for “Hungry Like the Wolf” and “Rio” were gigantic hits and featured models frolicking in face paint, and the video for “Notorious” starred supermodel Christy Turlington. But the supes in “Girl Panic” take the notion to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. They actually play the band and do some heavy duty acting, too, each one talking and behaving like their real-life band member counterparts (cue champagne parties, lounging on hotel carts, waking up outside on some steps, and whipping through the streets of London in a Rolls) while groupies in lingerie sleep all over things. This is LE ROCK and LE Roll, people, and we like it. Come take a look at all the decked-out debauchery…

All styled by Vanessa Coyle, each of the supermodels get maaayyyjah fashion moments in the vid. Naomi Campbell plays lead singer Simon Le Bon to assured, stare-you-in-your-soul PERFECTION. She wears a black satin Dolce & Gabbana bodysuit, a furry high-shouldered shrug by Mugler, and TO DIE Louboutin Splash heels. Um, what fountain of youth are you drinking from, Naomi?! GEEZ. Lookin’ GOOD.

Eva wears a glittery gold Roberto Cavalli catsuit, a maroon Ann Demeulemeester goat hair cape and plays keyboardist Nick Rhodes. She truly channels his essence and does a fantastic performance, too. If there was an Oscar for best supporting role in a music video, I’d nominate her, because she’s intense about it, and you can tell. She also looks AMAZING in this outfit. Annnnnnd SCENE.

indy gets tons of screen time in the video as bassist John Taylor and wears everything from buttery leather jackets to the ULITMATE rock and roll chick outfit, a green furry monster coat over a matching skin tight snakeskin skirt. There’s soooo much fur, feathers, and assorted animal skin finery going in that it’s total overkill in the best possible way. Cindy Crawford, as you know, was arguably the most iconic of the ’90s supermodels, and she was also MTV’s first host of House of Style. So, it’s all coming full circle here, folks.

OK, if there’s any model that epitomizes Model in Music Video, it’s Helena Christensen. She was verrrrry popular with the menfolk in the ’90s for her nakie beach romp in Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” video. She’s still got it, too. In “Girl Panic” she’s all laid back cool as drummer Roger Taylor, and then she somehow finds her way onto a hotel cart (perhaps after finding herself in a field of champagne bottles), and then tumbles out of it looking like a million bucks. Kind of shame that lovely black tulle Giles dress is getting all scrunched, though. No matter, LOVE IT!

Hi, Yasmin Le Bon, wife of lead singer Simon Le Bon, you look very lovely, indeed, in this sequin dress and gorilla jacket. Can we have your hair, please? Yasmin plays the role of “The Guitarist” (Hey Andy Taylor, WHERE ARE YOU?) because the band never seemed to have one that stuck. We think Yasmin would make a good one, though, regardless of whether she plays for real or not.

So, in the video, the supermodels eventually get together to play music as “Duran Duran” and do so while wearing all matters of superb suiting. All of them are sporting sartorial elegance by Edward Sexton with the exception of Helena who’s wearing Ralph Lauren. Is it just me or do you really want to see this girl band happen in real life? I imagine all of their songs to be about beach photoshoots, handsy photographers, and not getting out of bed for less than a $100,000 a day.

No, but really, how GOOD do they look?! You guys, Naomi Campbell is killing it as Simon Le Bon in that cherry red suit, and we want to wear Yasmin and Cindy’s guitar straps as an accessories every day. Also, it’s worth noting that bold colors seem to pop with backgrounds featuring white floors and pale blue curtains (for you fashion bloggers who style your own shoots). GAH, this is too good.

WE’RE DURAN DURAN. We make hit music and cavort with models in our videos well into our middle ages because WE CAN. (And, really, they can). Just in case you’ve forgotten that the band we’re talking about is actually comprised of four English dudes with a penchant for wearing Dolce & Gabbana and Burberry suits, instead of a plethora of supermodels who, very likely, have no clue how to play a single power chord (just a hunch, but I could be wrong … Helena looks like she plays acoustic in real life), here they are.