who is a Sikh and when should you start calling yourself "Sikh"?

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SPNer

I know this seems like a really elementary question but it's not as easy to answer as I thought it might be. Honestly, I am not sure when a person starts calling themselves a Sikh. When you make the decision to be a Sikh? When you are completely faithful with morning meditation and follow the 3 pillars? When you wear dastaar? Honestly, I wear dastar at home and sometimes when I go out but not often. The reason I don't is because I don't want people to ask me if I'm a Sikh because I simply don't feel worthy to represent Sikhi.

I know that might sound soppy, but its the truth. I don't feel worthy of representing Guruji... and that's why I am hesitant to call myself a Sikh. To me, its kind of like calling yourself an "expert" or a "saint." When are you an expert? How much do you have to know? When are you a saint? How good do your actions have to be? How clean does your heart have to be? When do you call yourself a Sikh?

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1947-2014 (Archived)

Tonight I am splitting my time between doing laundry and moderating and writing my own thoughts too. So I saw your questions. WoW!! On another forum, let's call it Nameless for Now, one very dear and kind member from Delhi, wrote that he was very concerned that I doubt myself the way I seem to do. I had actually described the feeling of not being a "real Sikh". Even though i was speaking tongue in cheek, it was my attempt to describe the struggle we who are converts have feeling authentic. So much knowledge, language, understanding of Sikhism is bound up in centuries of culture that some share -- those born into Sikhism - and others do not have this dependable founcaton-- they are those who convert.

I want to share what he told me without disclosing his identity or the name of the forum. It is a private network anyway. This may help you as it helped me.

I firmly know that the Guru takes care of his sikhs. But the only condition is that the sikh is true to his Guru and not that he knocks at other doors as well.

A convert sikh truly has no tradition to teach him or ease of learning. But at the same time there is no accompanying garbage to give up.

Guru Nanak Dev ji in his time traveled far and wide and there were sikhs with diverse cultures. Many unfamiliar with the language. In a local Hyderabad Gurdwara which i visited once there were telgu speaking sikhs who have a different back ground. Similarly there are many other sikhs with different language backgrounds.

The sikhi of Guru Nanak is devoid of rituals. It is difficult to practice as there are hardly any ritualistic things to do. The sikhi is to go within. It is to live as even a householder and be with the Guru within. So people with diverse backgrounds can easily go forward.

The Guru arranges the satsangat as per needs. The affairs too are resolved both of the outer world and blocks before the inner world.

So I am not going to say more right now but to share your wistful sense of wondering. Now deep down inside you know you are a Sikh. Of course you do. It just that sometimes it is such a fragile feeling.

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SPNer

I'm starting to realize how much my first experience with a Sikh affected me. This woman was is a friend of mine who I love and respect very much. When I told her I was very interested in Sikhi and had been studying it with the intent of "converting" she shocked me with her response -- she was not at all encouraging about it. She is from Punjab but has lived in the States for over 30 years and raised her children here. When I got over the shock of her reaction I asked her to explain her feelings and she said that she didn't really believe in converting because a person's religion is in their cells -- it's part of who they are. And she went on to describe how her faith is something she was born and raised in and that she chose before her birth and that a person can't just change that. Then she said that no one religion was better than another and was concerned that I wanted to leave the love of Jesus.

I was like "Huh?"

I came away from that feeling self conscious and presumptuous about my desire to become a Sikh. Since then I haven't talked to her about Sikhi and I don't think she is away of how much I have embraced this path in my heart. I did a lecture with her a few weeks ago and I saw her eye catch on my kara. She didn't say anything.

I wondered about that a lot though. I thought about what she said about choosing our families and our religions before we're born and how we all do that because that's the path that has what we need to learn in this lifetime. But then I thought, what if what I needed to learn was to seek out the best path instead of just following what was expected of me? What if what I needed to do in this lifetime was find Guruji?

Funny thing is, she is totally non traditional. She has short hair and dresses totally American. I wonder if she thinks about the fact that she has converted nationalities? LOL

At any rate, I think that experience probably planted a seed in my mind about whether or not I could become an 'authentic' Sikh even though I wasn't born to it.

Fortunately, I have run into people who have been much more encouraging! This forum has helped, with all it's pros and cons. And there are a couple of really nice Sikh families in my town who have been very supportive too. They say they love to see westerners coming to Sikhi because it makes them to take a fresh look at their faith, and also because they think that converts bring wonderful things to a faith community. They're not at all critical or suspicious of 3HO - they think they've brought new life to Sikhi.

I think I'm going to gurdwara with them in next weekend. I don't know why I'm nervous about that. Should I go up front and pay my respects to SGGS like everybody else or just slip in the back?

LOL It is truly not like me to be shy! Have you ever seen the movie, "The Color Purple?" You know that song the nightclub singer sings when she goes into her father's church? I sing that song! And DANCE. I've been to Vodou ceremonies! Why am I nervous about going to gurdwara???

anyhow... thank you so much. That writing was very touching. And please thank your friend for me too.

ਜੋ ਗੁਰ ਦੀਸੈ ਸਿਖੜਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਨਿਵਿ ਨਿਵਿ ਲਾਗਉ ਪਾਇ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
jo gur dheesai sikharraa this niv niv laago paae jeeo ||3||
When I see a Sikh of the Guru, I humbly bow and fall at his feet. ||3||
I will send you a pm about going to gurdwara. First time your eyes will be opened. It is going to be very different from what you think.

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SPNer

These days plenty of sikhs think that conversions in sikhism or spreading sikhism is banned in sikhism.They just think that one should follow religion in which he/she born.
They forget that ancestors of more than 90% of sikhs were Hindu's and at one point
they converted to sikhism that's why there descendents are sikhs today.

I don't know who spread this Myth or who spreaded this type of misunderstanding in sikhism

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SPNer

These days plenty of sikhs think that conversions in sikhism or spreading sikhism is banned in sikhism.They just think that one should follow religion in which he/she born.
They forget that ancestors of more than 90% of sikhs were Hindu's and at one point
they converted to sikhism that's why there descendents are sikhs today.

I don't know who spread this Myth or who spreaded this type of misunderstanding in sikhism

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Without going into anti-Hindu territory. I think it was Brahminical sources that persuaded naive Sikhs of this. Sikhs were open and actively accepting converts up to the early 1800s. There are plenty of references by early western witnesses in Panjab to this effect. Sikhism was clearly open to Muslims and Hindus and many converted.

As a person born with a Sikh heritage I would say this to you Caroline. It is true that much Panjabi cultural baggage is linked with Sikhism as practiced by most Sikhs of Panjabi background. In future this should change as the community increasingly diversifies. Be confident and honest to yourself. Believe you me many Sikhs of Panjabi backgrounds are no angels. Call yourself Sikh when you feel it in your heart. Ultimately your judge will be Akal Purakh, not Panjabis! lol

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SPNer

Thank you all so much! It really helps to understand a little of the reasons behind my friend's thinking. She is a wonderful person and is extremely caring and nice to people. She is a doctor and does lots of pro bono work in Third World countries and things like that. She really is one of the most wonderful people I know. That's why I was so confused. But now I think I have a little better perception about it. Thank you!

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Archived

Quote "These days plenty of sikhs think that conversions in sikhism or spreading sikhism is banned in sikhism."
The reality is that they do not have anything to convince others, even their own children for Sikhi.

The reverend Gurus spread the wisdom of Naam. People from all religions went through spiritual conversion. Today Baabaas and preachers are working hard for people not to convert spiritually. They want to hang them on a pentangular platform engraved with five symbols.

Quote from Dal Singh Jee "As a person born with a Sikh heritage I would say this to you Caroline. It is true that much Panjabi cultural baggage is linked with Sikhism as practiced by most Sikhs of Panjabi background. In future this should change as the community increasingly diversifies. Be confident and honest to yourself. Believe you me many Sikhs of Panjabi backgrounds are no angels. Call yourself Sikh when you feel it in your heart. Ultimately your judge will be Akal Purakh, not Panjabis! lol"
This is a good remark.
I feel Sikh preachers are worrying to loose their masks.

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As I said earlier in my previous post, your sincerity is an asset for your goal. This kind of sincerity towards Guru ji, will keep you on the true path you have chosen. I am a strong believer of this that without it, hypocrisy, duality take over the soul. Why do I applaud you? Because very rarely I have found it in the believers.

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SPNer

well we all know wat a sikh is..sikh is a learner..as we are always learning new things about sikhi !! right !!to become a guru;s sikh (gursikh) we shud follow the rehit n obey the orders that are provided by da guru granth sahib ji !! there are many tuks inthe gurbannnii which gives the definition of a truee sikh..there is one "jo satgur ka sikh akahiye..oh tarkke uth har naam thaiyee" srry if i spelleed it rngg !!!

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SPNer

well we all know wat a sikh is..sikh is a learner..as we are always learning new things about sikhi !! right !!to become a guru;s sikh (gursikh) we shud follow the rehit n obey the orders that are provided by da guru granth sahib ji !! there are many tuks inthe gurbannnii which gives the definition of a truee sikh..there is one "jo satgur ka sikh akahiye..oh tarkke uth har naam thaiyee" srry if i spelleed it rngg !!!

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SPNer

At any rate, I think that experience probably planted a seed in my mind about whether or not I could become an 'authentic' Sikh even though I wasn't born to it.

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Going by the Sikh History and my lif experiences till now . The people who were not Born as Sikh made a major impact on sikh heritage .Infact most o the great Personality in Sikhism were not Born sikh but Converted Sikh!

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SPNer

Hi every body
It was nice to know that people still yearn after "true sikhi". I for myself have struggled along a wavered path but never doubted the Guru's love for me and his forgiveness for all my misdemeanours. I feel He knows our frailties and we are as fickle as the flesh we are made in. "Ant lai chhadayee"( in the end He will save me) is what I believe in after each day of "Nigurapan"! I feel for a sikh to be a Ni-Guraa is the worst state - the state varies in degrees.. but redemption is still a possibility. "If you walk towards Him one step He walks toward you a million steps.".. is what Gurbani says and I believe it totally.

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I know this seems like a really elementary question but it's not as easy to answer as I thought it might be. Honestly, I am not sure when a person starts calling themselves a Sikh. When you make the decision to be a Sikh? When you are completely faithful with morning meditation and follow the 3 pillars? When you wear dastaar? Honestly, I wear dastar at home and sometimes when I go out but not often. The reason I don't is because I don't want people to ask me if I'm a Sikh because I simply don't feel worthy to represent Sikhi.

I know that might sound soppy, but its the truth. I don't feel worthy of representing Guruji... and that's why I am hesitant to call myself a Sikh. To me, its kind of like calling yourself an "expert" or a "saint." When are you an expert? How much do you have to know? When are you a saint? How good do your actions have to be? How clean does your heart have to be? When do you call yourself a Sikh?

Click to expand...

There is a fundamental answer to your question that is often overlooked even by the most devout one calling oneself a Sikh. We need to go back to the three basic principles set by Guru Nanak Dev ji. They are:

One who practices these three fundamental principle is worthy to call himself a sikh.

So ask your self these three questions everyday after a hard days of Dharam di Kirat and you will have your answer. The day you miss out on one ,"You are not a Sikh" This is the fundamental step, the rest is progression/a direction to become a Gurmukh. When you start wearing the Kakkars, you begin to represent Guru Gobind Singh ji. Seek within your own heart if one, in sincerity has in him/her to represent Guru ji.

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1947-2014 (Archived)

Going by the Sikh History and my lif experiences till now . The people who were not Born as Sikh made a major impact on sikh heritage .Infact most o the great Personality in Sikhism were not Born sikh but Converted Sikh!

Click to expand...

Drkhalsa ji,

Many thanks for your comments -- so encouraging -- because it is easy to doubt oneself. 500 years ago or more all Sikhs were converts from something. All we can hope is that each Sikh helps the next Sikh in times of confusion. We look to people like to you show the way.

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1947-2014 (Archived)

Hi every body
It was nice to know that people still yearn after "true sikhi". I for myself have struggled along a wavered path but never doubted the Guru's love for me and his forgiveness for all my misdemeanours. I feel He knows our frailties and we are as fickle as the flesh we are made in. "Ant lai chhadayee"( in the end He will save me) is what I believe in after each day of "Nigurapan"! I feel for a sikh to be a Ni-Guraa is the worst state - the state varies in degrees.. but redemption is still a possibility. "If you walk towards Him one step He walks toward you a million steps.".. is what Gurbani says and I believe it totally.

Click to expand...

muneet ji

Your words are genuine. My feelings are so often like your own. My own belief is that He hears every cry for forgiveness and every cry for His support.

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The sikhi of Guru Nanak is devoid of rituals. It is difficult to practice as there are hardly any ritualistic things to do. The sikhi is to go within. It is to live as even a householder and be with the Guru within. So people with diverse backgrounds can easily go forward.

The Guru arranges the satsangat as per needs. The affairs too are resolved both of the outer world and blocks before the inner world.

aad0002

I cannot hold myself from calling above comments a factual introduction to Nanak Panth well known as Sikhism. It starts within. What is within, one needs to analyze. Guru ji pointed at “panj Bhoot( Five primal negative forces also known as Ego, Anger, Lust, greed and deep attachment.) Once, presence of these five is recognized, a battle needs to be started. It will be very furious battle only for those who are sincere but for the hypocrites, business remains usual. Rituals lose importance because then only Guru bachan turns into a weapon to have a victory over them. No giving up if “ falls “occur, because, one has the weapon, an asset(Sincerity) and unconditional love for the Creator that keep elevating the soul. I am still battling, am I happier than before?you bet, I live a feeling of being totally armed to win. Will HE bless me ever, I don’t know, but isn’t it enough for me that HE makes me feel HE is with me!

Quote Carolinislands“ I don't want people to ask me if I'm a Sikh because I simply don't feel worthy to represent Sikhi.Aad0002 Ji, here is Caroline expressing feeling of a responsibility for not only herself but also for the panth of Guru Nanak. She doent want any one even say this if she fails to represent Sikhs” are Sikhs like this? I bow before that kind of behavior

Dalkhalsa

Going by the Sikh History and my lif experiences till now . The people who were not Born as Sikh made a major impact on sikh heritage .Infact most o the great Personality in Sikhism were not Born sikh but Converted Sikh!Dalkhalsa JiVery true, because who convert into a new faith, they are more seriously devoted. First thing they think is to worthy of the faith, many of them just go deep down to it, and some others who just get Sikhi like a buy one get one free, they lack that kind of sincerity, you know how free thing is treated!

Maneet

If you walk towards Him one step He walks toward you a million steps.".. is what Gurbani says and I believe it totally.

Absolutely true, who has doubts about it, should try it and experience this fact

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1947-2014 (Archived)

Needless to say, I have great respect for every word you have stated here. Expecially this, when you said, No giving up if “ falls “occur, because, one has the weapon, an asset(Sincerity) and unconditional love for the Creator that keep elevating the soul.

My admiration for what you are saying comes from the honesty and the humility behind your words.

One little thing, and please so not take offense. I am not sure I am the one who said

The sikhi of Guru Nanak is devoid of rituals. It is difficult to practice as there are hardly any ritualistic things to do. The sikhi is to go within. It is to live as even a householder and be with the Guru within. So people with diverse backgrounds can easily go forward.

The Guru arranges the satsangat as per needs. The affairs too are resolved both of the outer world and blocks before the inner world.

I wish that I had thought of that. Thank you for thinking that it was me. Will try to figure who did.

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