Romp On Beach Just A Doggone Memory

A day at the beach. Once upon a time there was a big German shepherd named Rover who lived not far from a quiet little place in Brevard County called Cocoa Beach.

There were very few people who lived around there in those days -- just Rover and his people family and a few other folks who mostly liked to fish and enjoy life among the open fields along the big, big Atlantic Ocean.

Early every morning Rover would hustle down the dirt road to meet Buster, a scruffy little bum-around beagle, and off they would go together for a day at the beach.

Doesn't that sound like fun, boys and girls? You bet it was.

Rover and Buster would romp and play in the surf. And sun themselves and do all the things dogs have always done everywhere.

Like, for instance, leave behind on the beach unmistakable evidence of their visit. But nobody cared because hardly anybody lived around there then. And hardly anybody came in big shiny airplanes to put their blankets on the beach and tan their bodies so they could go back to Rego Park, in Queens, New York, and hear their neighbors talk through their noses and say:

''Geraldine, what a bee-ooo-tee-ful tan you got in Flawrida, dahrling! You look gooor-gee-ous. You really do. I really mean that.''

Well, boys and girls, all that has changed. Rover and Buster are gone and so are the open fields and the few little houses that were sprinkled along the ocean in those days. Now there are bright lights and paved roads and big condos and lots of Geralds and Geraldines from Rego Park stretched out on the sand.

They don't like to share the beach with the Rovers and Busters of this world. Not one bit. The doggies leave too much of their evidence behind for Gerald and Geraldine to step around.

So now there is The Great Dog War in Brevard County, boys and girls. What do you think of that? Isn't that exciting?

The first shots were fired Sunday. County animal control officers stormed the beach and gave out tickets to pet owners who were romping with their Rovers.

The officers were very polite. They like to see dogs having fun at the beach, too. They said they were just doing their duty. The law says no dogs on the beach. And pet owners who get surly about it can just stuff it.

Can anyone tell the class what ''stuff it'' means? Raise your hands.

Anyway, on Sunday when the officers were handing out tickets the nice people from Channel 6 were on the beach, too. They interviewed one man who said he thought people were just as bad as dogs at the beach.

Bob Tucker of Channel 6 said the man told him on camera that people went to the bathroom in another way in the surf. Can you imagine such a thing?

And then what do you suppose happened right at that very moment, boys and girls? As the man was speaking, his dog began to leave evidence on the beach. Mr. Tucker said the camera panned over to get a shot of that happening. But, of course, all that footage ended up on the cutting room floor, as they say. Does anyone know what footage is?

He said Channel 6 couldn't put film like that on the air. We see doggies leaving evidence on the street and in the yard and on the beach and everyplace but not on the tube. That's a no-no.

My, isn't this getting interesting, boys and girls? What in the world do you think is going to happen next?

Well, we'll see. But first, let's find out what has happened up until now, shall we?

There's a man who lives just south of Cocoa Beach, not far from Patrick Air Force Base, who has asked the officers to keep doggies off the beach.

He says he wants to keep his name out of the story because some people who let their dogs leave their evidence on the beach have come to his house and have scolded him.

''They leave it their evidence right in front of my house,'' the man said. ''And my wife likes to walk on the beach and she is terrified of dogs.''

The man said he has tried everything to stop the doggie evidence. ''I have taken down license plates,'' he said.

''I even followed one man who brings his two dogs just about every Sunday morning. He lives on North 4th Street in Cocoa Beach and drives all the way to Patrick to let his dogs run.''

Robert Pipkin, who heads the nice animal control officers, said

they will patrol Brevard beaches and give out more tickets.

And he says the county animal control law prohibits all animals, not just dogs, from romping on the beach. It means his nice officers will give out tickets to people who take their camels or tigers or monkeys to the beach, too.

Mr. Pipkin said the county law calls an animal ''any nonhuman living creature capable of self-locomotion.''