A Fine Afternoon’s Work

I said I’ll have a plate
Of your finest platitudes
With a side serving of insouciance,
Easy on the relish.

My custom no longer welcome
At Chicken Cottage,
I moved on in pursuit of other fowl to fry,
Three pound twenty
And a paraffin lighter
Burning a hole in my pocket.

Crowds had gathered
In front of Fred’s Discount Store.
30% off lilac and lemon Pringle sweaters
Was proving quite a draw.
I resisted the impulse.

My attention was roughly grabbed
And hauled into Help the Caged,
A new charity shop
Committed to ending the plight
Of budgerigars the world over,
Inside which I rapidly parted with my money.
Cooking with Charlie Dimmock and
A cassette tape of The Blow Monkeys
Sing Songs from the Shows,
My spoils of war.