I know, because its members always make a point of thanking me when I attend their monthly meetings. No, they really do.

I’m one of Pueblo’s bluegrass farmers. I can’t help myself.

Once, I tried attending a

Sodaholic Anonymous meeting, but all I was able to do was pick a fight with some guy who swore he would have a green lawn by the end of February. (He did, but it was a leap year.)

To help you gauge the depths of your own passion, I’ve prepared a little quiz:

1. Rate the color of your lawn:

A) Rich and spinach-like.

B) Greenish, with a touch of gray.

C) Yellow, bordering on dirt

D) The opposite of alive.

2. Your favorite lawn-care tool is:

A) Ooh! The $400 set of surgical scissors that I swap out monthly.

B) The power edger that can do 10 mph on an open course.

C) An old metal rake missing four tines.

D) A Bobcat loader, shovel and nine tons of gravel.

3. Your sprinkler system:

A) Has been fully weaponized to deliver optimal amounts of weed killer and pesticides in key kill zones. It includes sensors that detect changes in short- and long-term weather patterns in order to get the fullest value from each drop.

B) Works most of the time with a little twisting, digging and prodding.

C) Is a hose.

D) See that bucket? Maybe it’ll rain.

4. Fertilization:

A) Is on a strict schedule that ensures the proper nutrients are delivered in timely, precise doses.

B) Let’s see, I have a bag of something out in the garage. Let’s try that.

C) Is mostly accidental.

D) Every time I let the dogs out in the yard. What? You got a problem with that?

5. The trees and shrubs:

A) Are each on individual timing systems so that they obtain beneficial irrigation on a regular basis without impeding the surrounding vegetation.

B) Have been carefully selected both for appearance and the ability to tolerate likely extremes of heat and precipitation in the local climate.

C) Are natives, I think. At any rate, they came up by themselves and have been here longer than I have.

D) Are only invasive species if you’re close-minded.

6. Weeds:

A) Where? Martha, hand me my penknife.

B) Come back twofold for every one I pluck.

C) Are the only thing providing shade for the grass.

D) There literally would be no lawn without them.

7. My mower:

A) Could win stock-car races. This baby has a 20-horsepower engine, eight speeds and twin 42-inch blades. It takes about three minutes to cover my whole lawn, but it’s worth it when you mow every day.

B) Two out of the three gas mowers are usually running well, but I’m too busy mowing weekly to get the other one to the shop.