Why I Never Pay Full Price (It's Not What You Expect)

One writer on the thrill of the hunt – and her 7 rules for coming out of a sale with the best pieces (and the best prices)

I like to think that I show artful restraint in almost every aspect of decorating (and life) with one small exception: at a furniture sample sale. It isn't a pretty ordeal, but following a few tips can help you score some great deals—usually 60% or more off the retail price—and maybe enjoy the "experience" as well.

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When I found out about Serena & Lily's recent warehouse clearance, my heart skipped a beat. I passed the word to certain friends, as a sample sale is not for the faint of heart. One friend opted out saying she had just given birth to a child (weak excuse). But Elizabeth and Julie agreed to throw down the gauntlet with me. We strategized weeks ahead of the event because of Rule #1:Be prepared. Post-It Notes pre-written with "SOLD"? Check. Giant IKEA bags? Check. Hundreds of dollars in cash? Check. Caffeine? Check. A warrior-like attitude? Well, obviously.

The morning of the event started off strong—despite a small rookie mistake by Elizabeth. She drove to the warehouse on the wrong day, realized the event was not happening, and then was stuck there all day with her car, which broke down that very moment in the deserted parking lot, which leads to Rule #2:Always double-check the event details. On the correct morning, I drove an hour north of San Francisco to an area best known for its major oil refinery. I was alert, caffeinated, and ready to rumble. At the stoplight, several high-end SUVs pulled up next to me. It dawned on me that we were all headed to the same place. My blood began pumping. When the light turned green, the SUVs peeled into the warehouse lot and separated into different aisles searching for parking. The mayhem had begun. The lot was full of well-heeled women marching with determination towards the white tents.

Panic ensued. I recklessly parked my car in an illegal spot and said a small prayer to keep the tow trucks at bay. The texts began flooding in. Elizabeth was lost in the parking lot abyss, while Julie was already planted at the end of the line. Huh? Line? How could we have made such an amateur error by showing up at the time the sample sale begins? It was clear that the line of bright tunics and ballet flats, which snaked down the street and around the corner, had formed hours ago, as they all know well of Rule #3:Always arrive early. Everyone knows the best loot goes to the first ones through the door, while the late arrivers are left with odd tchotchkes and unmatched bed linens. Elizabeth caught up with me and, disheartened, we headed towards the end of the line. We cut through a lawn area behind the white tents and, in a moment of divine intervention, we found ourselves inside the sample sale. Our eyes met, and they screamed, "Screw the line! Let's do this!"

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We were on the battlefield. Smooth-skinned women crawled over chairs, tables, and mirrors like ants on a fallen ice cream cone. They fought over bistro chairs as if they were bags of rice dropped from a humanitarian mission plane. The strong ones dragged heavy rugs through the chaos. Chest- and back-strapped babies cried; the heat began melting the makeup off all the pretty faces; everyone was fighting for their lives—er – duvets.

Time to leave? Hardly. Rule #4:Go big or go home. There is no in-between. You never want to dawdle at a sample sale. Do you want to get pummeled by dangerous shoppers all day and wait in an hours-long line in 95-degree heat just to pay for a candlestick holder? No. So, I headed purposefully into the sea of madness. Makeshift tables stacked with a smorgasbord of decor filled the tents: colorful blankets, crisp bed linens, wooden napkin rings, shaggy Flokati rugs, and delicious beaded chandeliers. Women ripping open boxes with the kind of herculean strength I've only seen in movies. Toddlers playing unattended in empty boxes.

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I started shoving accessories into my bags, while the bag-less amateurs hemmed and hawed over one vase for twenty minutes. No, no, no. Rule #5:Take now, decide later. The competition was too fierce to waste time. If you took your hand off a mosaic mirror for even a second, it would be gone. I overheard one lady say she had already paid for a rope lamp, placed it down on a table for a minute, then looked up and discovered someone else had grabbed it and paid for it, too. Now what? Clearly she didn't know about Rule #6:Never take your hands off your loot.

Julie and Elizabeth, sweaty and tired, decided to call it a day. I made one last push and continued to rummage through the cloth napkins, bending over into a refrigerator-sized box with 20 pounds of bed linens and brass bowls on my back. Spotting the perfect citrus-colored print in the far corner, I made a lunge for it until—uh oh, uh oh—I fell over into the box. It wasn't the humiliation of lying in a pile of napkins that was worst; it was that no one around me even seemed to care. I was left in a giant box of napkins like an overturned turtle. And then, surprise!, a miniature poodle popped out next to me from under the pile; someone had left him in the box so they could shop. Yeah, it was time to leave. Rule #7:Know your limit.

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I forked over $600 in cash and proudly drove my fresh merch home to share with my family. "You better thank me," I told my husband as I walked in. "I just saved you a ton of money." Was it worth all the brain damage and trauma? I say yes. To quote a guy friend of mine who can't seem to keep a steady girlfriend, "It's all about the hunt." That primal urge to seek, compete, and win, it's part of being human. Ask any antique dealer or sport fisherman, they know the feeling. The hunt is exhilarating; it gets your heart pumping; it makes you perform; it make you feel alive; it makes you appreciate your acquisition that much more. Now whenever I set the table with those citrus-colored cloth napkins, I always think back to the blood, sweat, and tears I shed to acquire them at 70% off the retail price. That, and how it will make for some great dinner conversation.