We’re still nine months away from the release of Iron Man 2, so you know what that means: marketing time. What better way to get fans crazier than they already are than with some good ol’ fashioned viral marketing. Marketing strategy has always been a creative venture when it comes to Hollywood, and what was perfected (and arguably originated, in terms of film promotion) with The Dark Knight now lends itself to Iron Man. So here’s what we’ve got going.

If you head on over to www.StarkIndustriesNow.com you will see that you are now on the Stark Industries homepage, and greeted with what appears to be a hand-written press release from Tony Stark himself. Typical, Tony Stark writes his press releases on coffee mug-stained napkins.

Now, there’s a link at the top of the page that says “JOIN STARK INDUSTRIES”. If you click that it takes you to an online job application for Stark Industries. It’s a form that asks you basic questions as any job application would, when can you work, your address, etc. then it goes on to ask you some pretty interesting ones like

A plane flying past a non-moving observer has kinetic energy in the reference frame of this observer, the same plane has how much kinetic energy in the reference frame which moves with the plane?

and

What term describes the superposition of two or more waves resulting in a new wave pattern?

Fun stuff! So I filled the form out, as best I could, and hit submit.

Well, moments ago I received this email from Kay Baker at Stark Industries:

Hey there!

Thank you so much for being one of the first people to apply for a job at Stark Industries. So far, the response has been incredible. You are among the best and brightest and your interest in joining our ranks is truly appreciated.

Already we have an overwhelming number of applicants and we plan to take our time thoroughly investigating each one. It may be a long process, but it is the only way to ensure that we find the absolute best candidates to work at Stark Industries.

We will contact you soon as we narrow down our selection.

All the best,
Kay Baker

Verrrry interesting. I like where this is going. I guess now we wait and see what happens, but this is a really good way of engaging the hardcore fans, and fun alternative to just sitting at home and waiting. If I were to guess anything, this will lead to some fun reveals like images or even a trailer, ala Why So Serious?, the Dark Knight viral.

Until then, we’ll keep our eyes on the inbox and let you know what happens next. Head on over to Stark Industries and apply yourself!

But creeping up right behind Dark Knight Returns is what is widely considered one of the greatest self-contained stories ever told in comics, the story of Jesse Custer and his search for God. Literally. That story is the hilarious, violent, gritty ride known as Preacher, created by comic book mainstays, writer Garth Ennis and artist Steve Dillon.

If you haven’t read Preacher, it tells the story of Jesse Custer, a small-town minister in Texas who gets possessed with the spirit known as Genesis – an entity created when an Angel and a Demon conceive. The second Genesis was born, God up and quit his post in heaven and now walks the earth. Jesse, who now has all of Genesis’s powers including the word of God (anything he says must be obeyed), doesn’t take the news of God’s absence too well and sets out on a country-spanning journey to find God and give him what for. He’s not alone though, joining him on his crusade is his ex-girlfriend Tulip and a hard-drinking Irish vampire named Cassidy. I’ll stop there with the synopsis; if you haven’t yet checked this series out, you really should, it’s phenomenal.

Just like Watchmen, Preacher has had a few false starts with live-action adaptation. From 1998 through 2000 Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier were attached to produce a film based on the first story arc of the series for Electric Entertainment, with Rachel Talay directing a screenplay by Ennis himself. The film lingered in developmental hell for a while until being greenlit for pre-production. The film had no shoot date or release date, with problems stemming from the $25 million budget.

For two more years, the Preacher movie hung around in the back. James Marsden (X-Men films, Superman Returns) had been cast as Jesse Custer, and another two years later, a whole six years since Smith and Mosier became involved, the entire project crumbled due to financial issues.

The live-action Preacher film was back to square one, and it wasn’t going to get any better.

2006 rolled around and HBO became involved in adapting Preacher into a television series, each issue being one episode. Now, that sounded awesome; surely that format would be able to take its time and capture the breadth and intricacies of the whole series. The problem being that HBO tapped Mark Steven Johnson to helm the show, the dude that adapted Daredevil and Ghost Rider to the big-screen. Thankfully, 2 years later in August 2008 HBO passed on the project citing it’s tone and religious controversy. Preacher fans will remember feeling quite the tinge of excitement when a picture (see further down) of an actor in full Arseface make-up hit the net. Makes you wonder what the series could have been, even with Johnson at the wheel.

The Preacher film seemed all but dead after this string of false starts, but in January of this year Columbia Pictures purchased the film rights. Things are looking better for this stage of the development; acclaimed director Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition, Jarhead, Revolutionary Road) is signed on to direct. Although Garth Ennis isn’t on board to write the screenplay for the flick, John August is officially taking that role. August is responsible for such screenplays as Go and Big Fish, with uncredited re-writes for Minority Report and Iron Man. He did also write Jurassic Park III and the Charlie’s Angels films though…

No other details of the film are known as of yet.

Comparing this film/property to Watchmen again, Preacher fans are a feverish, passionate bunch. Every little detail, absolutely everything will be put under a microscope and scrutinized. And just like with Watchmen, it will be impossible to please everyone. The fans typically have their guns loaded before the film even gets released. The casting of these indelible characters will be one of the most talked-about and debated factors of the success of the Preacher film. Yes, I know that when it comes to casting our favorite characters Hollywood almost always messes it up, but I like to have a little faith. For the most part the Watchmen casting was inspired and spot-on, and Heath Ledger proved hordes of fans wrong after they balked at the announcement that he would be playing the clown prince of crime. There’s just no doubt about it, once a fan gets their dream-cast in their head, there’s no one else good enough in their minds until judgment day – the film’s release.

I’ve thought long and hard about the Preacher film for the last few weeks as I’ve been re-reading the series from start to finish, falling in love with it. I’ve come up with what I think is my own personal cast list for Preacher, be it if I were in charge of casting the film. My cast list would look something like this:

Jesse Custer - James Franco

Jesse Custer is the lead character so much so that if he isn’t just right, the whole thing could fall apart at the seams. So much of everyone’s dynamic and context works solely because of Jesse’s normalcy and natural righteousness. He is as complex as he is ordinary. This will no doubt be a challenging role for any actor looking to do the character justice. Jesse is the everyman, the American man. He’s could charm the pants off you one minute and punch your teeth out the next. I think James Franco (Spider-Man films, Pineapple Express) has the natural screen-presence, acute acting abilities and wide enough range to pull off Custer’s subtleties. He’s also not a super-huge star that would overshadow or oversell the film, but he’s a strong enough young talent that could justifiably land this lead role. He’s also handsome but not too handsome. Jesse’s a good looking farm boy, but he’s more John Wayne than Zac Efron.

Tulip O’ Hare – Elizabeth Banks or Uma Thurman

Jesse’s ex/current lover Tulip is many things. She’s sexy. She’s a strong woman. She’s also handy with a gun or her fist. She’s also madly in love with, and very much devoted to Jesse and his cause. Chemistry with whomever is playing Jesse is absolutely imperative for the role of Tulip. Any young woman can play sexy and slightly tom-boyish with a lethal side; it takes a specific actress to pull that all off and still melt Jesse’s heart (as with ours). Although my first pick, a common one, lies with Uma Thurman (Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction), realistically she looks too old for the part. My next best choice is with Elizabeth Banks (40 Year Old Virgin, Zach & Miri Make A Porno). Banks is very good looking, has that sharp sarcastic wit, and could be believable with a gun. I can close my eyes and see Franco and Banks together gelling quite well.

Cassidy – Robert Pattinson or Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Oh boy, I can see the hate-mail flooding my inbox already. You read that right, I think Robert Pattinson, the star of Twilight and millions of girls dreams nightly, would be a visually perfect Cassidy. Can he pull off Cassidy’s perpetual drunken swagger? I don’t know. His Twilight role (also a vampire) was quite the opposite – stiff and lifeless (kinda like my Saturday night, hey-o), but I have faith in the young people of today; I say give this cat a chance. Being a Londoner, it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to pull of a believable Irish accent. But for those of you who just can’t possibly wrap your mind around separating a young actor from a breakthrough role, I’ve come up with a close-second choice for the smack-talking Irish bloodsucker: Jonathan Rhys Meyers. He’s actually a damn good pick for Cassidy, far more experienced than Robert Pattinson and has had his fair share of actual drunkenness, apparently. For what he has in acting chops over Pattinson, he lacks in physical resemblance of Cassidy, though with some stubble and a pair of Ray-Bans you’ve got your Proinsias Cassidy.

Herr Starr – James Marsters

This was by far the toughest character to wrap my brain around in terms of casting. Like Jesse, Starr is one of these incredibly particular characters. He’s very subtle yet so complicated. Starr is just completely unpredictable in how he will react and what he will say. Inadvertently Starr also provides for some of the funniest moments in the book – he has a natural resilience to injury. My first instinct was to cycle through every bald actor in my head, with Bruce Willis being the one I leaned towards the most. Willis is too big for the role of Herr Starr though. I went with a dark horse pick here, but I really think that James Marsters (Buffy, Angel, Smallville) has that stern and subtle strength about him. Shave his head bald and he also looks the part, albeit a few years young. Again, as much as Jesse, the role of Starr is as important as it is delicate.

The Saint of Killers – Ted Levine

Ask anyone who has read the book who they would get to play the unstoppable Saint of Killers and I guarantee you’ll get the same response: Clint Eastwood. And I totally agree, Eastwood is absolutely perfect for the role. I’m certain a huge part of shaping that character came from Eastwood himself. But as a fan of the comics and movies in general I’m being totally realistic in saying that casting Dirty Harry ain’t gonna happen. No way, Eastwood pretty much acts in 2 flicks a year, both of which he directs. I would eat my shoe if he even read the script. So, who’s next? Now I’d say David Carradine, but he got strung up by tranny hookers in a Bangkok hotel a few weeks ago, and unless life imitates art, he’s not going to many auditions anymore. That leaves Mr. Buffallo Bill, Ted Levine (Silence of the Lambs, American Gangster). He’s big. He’s scary. He’s older. He fits the physical profile.

Arseface – N/A

The last major role for the Preacher flick is one that really doesn’t need a visually-accurate portrayal as the actor will most definitely be completely covered with facial prosthetics. Although I wasn’t too big on Mark Steven Johnson’s series for HBO, that make-up artist absolutely nailed Arseface. Hire that effects dude and get Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine, There Will Be Blood) to appear in flashbacks as a pre-shotgun faced Arseface.

The story of Preacher is so long and dense that it could not be done justice in one 2 hour movie. We as fans are going to have to come to terms with whatever we see adapted is going to be heavily edited and abridged. I suspect the most content will be taken from the first collected story arc Gone to Texas, with bits and pieces of the main storyline of Jesse’s mission to find God borrowed from the eight other collected volumes ending with Alamo. We as fans are so used to having our beloved stories shit on, though Watchmen had a similarly sordid journey to the big screen and that came out exceptionally. It really depends on the team that’s heading the film and how much the studio will allow the property to just be as it is. But regardless, we will always have the books, which are some of the very best ever written.

Now is your chance to sound off on my casting picks, your picks, and Preacher itself.

I’d like to take this opportunity to give a large round of applause to Michael Bay. Congratulations, Sir, you’ve pulled the ultimate prank. You have managed to make the longest, most-expensive, highest-grossing spoof movie ever. I admit, I chortled pretty hard after the 58th explosion in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I caught the subversive Kaufman-esque humor when nothing progressive happened for literally 45 minutes halfway through the film.

Brilliant.

I knew I was experiencing a “happening” when that old Transformer had a beard and needed a walking stick made out of a Blackbird plane’s landing gear.

Oh, and the twins, Mudflap and Skids? Genius. What an amazing social commentary on the foolishness of racial stereotypes in modern media. Just, cutting edge and important.

Oh you’re so very clever Michael Bay, you self-aware clown, you.

Wait… you mean… what I just saw was… was real? You actually made that movie to be taken seriously? Really?

Michael Bay, you are a fucking idiot.

Enough with playing coy here, kids, this review is going to get real fast, real serious.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a big steaming pile of shit. In every single possible way. If you can’t see that then I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are a simpleton. The film is a complete and utter black hole devoid of sense, reason, purpose and point. It is horribly written, horribly paced, it is misogynistic, racist, unintelligent and entirely unfunny.

And you are all lapping it up like disgusting remora-fish on the gills of the elusive great white shit shark. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has been out for four days now and has already grossed $201,000,000. I like to think my hand is close to the pulse of society here, and I know I’m in the majority when I say that TF:ROTF is a hot mess of garbage. So why is this turd still making money? Have we finally passed the point of no return of mindless self-indulgence? Was Mike Judge’s Idiocracy a forewarning, and soon the #1 television program will be Ouch, My Balls?

I like to think that we as a society and culture are not comprised of money-making, money-spending, barely functioning dullards, but alas, dear moviegoer, you leave me no choice.

Anyways, back to the movie…

There isn’t so much a plot as there is a loose idea of a story that moves two feet forward from exploding set-piece to exploding set-piece. It’s two years after the events of the first film and Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf) is heading off to college while the autobots have been working alongside a special military division to uncover and eliminate decepticons. But while the military thinks that the decepticons are messing with earth only because of the autobot presence, in fact they are hunting the remains of the allspark so they can revive megatron so they can find Sam so they can get the coordinates to the matrix of leadership so that the original decepticon, The Fallen can conquer the planet. And….scene.

It took me two sentences, yet it took Michael bay 150 minutes to clumsily unweave that blanket of stupid. The twists and turns had me riveted. But the intricacies of the story wasn’t the real problem here – it was the absolutely horrendous pacing and run-time. The film is easily 30 minutes too long. We start with a solid 15 minutes of action, then its like watching paint dry for 30 straight minutes, then another 15 minutes of action. There’s one section of the film – in which we meet the ridiculous Jetfire,a senior citizen transformer – that was tortuously boring. We are subjected to long-winded flashbacks that are neither necessary nor entertaining. The whole film goes on like this; even the action scenes are boring.

The thing about the first film (which I actually enjoyed, by the way) is that this was all new and kept in a fairly intimate scope. If anything, TF:ROTF proves that a global-scale movie about transforming robots just doesn’t make a good movie. There’s no substance. These characters have nothing to cling on to. There’s just nothing at all interesting about anyone or anything in this movie.

The first film had it’s fair share of comedy. I didn’t laugh at it, nor do I consider it clever humor at all, but I understand the need to have it there. It can’t all be explosions and robots, we need a dog peeing somewhere in there, you know, to balance it out. But Revenge of the Fallen takes the worst parts of Transformers and multiplies them like mogwais in water. There are attempts at humor every other minute of the film, but not one joke is funny, unless you’re 7 or under. Audiences winced when Bumblebee “wizzed” on a human in the first film, but that’s nothing compared to the sequel – we get robots humping, robots crying, robots dancing, robots ninja kicking, robots bleeding, robots fist bumping, robots with gold teeth and robots with giant, clanging testicles.

If that sounds like a lot of robots, well it is. There’s dozens of robots in this one, easily more than twice the amount of the first. There’s all sorts of sport coupes, motorcycles, insects, dumptrucks, cement mixers, just a child’s toybox full of matchstick transformers, most of which don’t speak or have a name and we don’t know who any of them are. All of these robots, all of these characters that have established themselves with fans and barely any of them exist. There’s Optimus Prime, who executes more decepticons than saves autobots, Bumblebee who still can’t talk, Megatron is pussified, Starscream is noticably re-cast, The Fallen is a pointless and uninteresting Emperor Palpatine archetype and Ratchet and Ironhide are in the film with no more than two lines of dialogues each. Way to keep us engaged with the characters, gang. But that’s not even the biggest problem with the characters. The biggest problem are the new twins, Mudflap and Skids who are so painfully, insultingly racist. If you haven’t heard already, these two autobots are the main comic-relief robots who get far too much screentime. All of their screentime is too much. These two characters speak only in stereotpyical afro-centric slang, which is offensive enough, have pronounced facial features like teeth and ears, and are self-professed as illiterate. One of them has a gold tooth and they spout off catch-phrases like “bust a cap in yo ass” and “dats because you a pussy”.

How is that funny? It’s disgusting and unnecessary and we should not be showing our kids this stuff. It is completely unhealthy and unreasonable to be perpetuating these stereotypes as acceptable humor to our children. With a clear conscience, I cannot and will not endorse this film anymore than I already have beyond my ticket-purchase and this review. If you found the twins funny and are not a clue-less child, then you should not be contributing to this society, and for God’s sake don’t reproduce. Shame on us, and shame on those involved with these characters.

I don’t have the patience anymore to continue flogging this heap of bile. I’ve only scratched the surface of what’s wrong with this movie. Quite simply, Michael Bay has not made a movie here; he’s made the worst porn film ever imaginable. He’s made a porn movie for underachievers that consists of the pizza boy cooing an unwanting female for two hours culminating in one premature, oozing, uninspired money-shot.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the strip-club of action films – you pay way more than it’s worth to get in, its way too loud, it feels like it goes on forever, and at the end of the day you’ve seen it all before and it laughs in your face because there’s no relief from the itch you had going in.

There’s no reason to see this film.

* if you even dare tell me that Megan Fox is a reason to see the film, then you can help yourself to some buckshot mouthwash. That’s not a reason, you stupid moron. You are a chauvinist pig asshole and you need to grow up.

First I want to say sorry to all the readers out there. I’ve been gone for the last couple weeks and just now am catching up on my comic book reading. I’ve missed it quite a bit and have been ready to write for the past few weeks, but they just been a little crazy. So enough about me, let’s get to Wolverine.

As you all know I’m a bit biased when it comes to Wolverine. As long as they don’t kill him (I don’t know how they would) then they can really do him little harm in my eyes. Especially now with the hype of Wolverine over the last few years and the recent movie, he seems to be everywhere. New Avengers, X-Men, X-Force, and everywhere else he seems to have a little niche in. This for me is awesome, but I never stopped to think why. This is addressed in the second story some I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

Like the last issue, this concludes the two part filler from Old Man Logan to Dark Wolverine. By the way, Old Man Logan is one of the best stories Wolverine has ever had, if you haven’t picked it up yet, you don’t know what you’re missing. So not only is this a two part series, its two stories in one book. A couple weeks back I reviewed 73 where you can catch up.

The first part takes place with some old friends of Wolverines. It’s about two biker gangs on the verge of war. If anyone else has played the recent expansion for Grand Theft Auto 4, The Lost and Damned, then I think you could appreciate this story a little more. PS also a great little expansion. So last time Horrorshow, an old friend of Logan’s, gets Logan out of some trouble with the law. Logan was on his way back to New York from San Francisco. They go to a nearby bar and catch up. Horrorshow tells his sad tale of how his son Ram has been on drugs and has joined his opposing gang.

As he tells the story, him and Logan get news that his son has just killed two members of his gang, the Burning Sons. Horrorshow blames himself for his son but won’t do anything about it. The Burning sons are pissed and Logan volunteers to do something about it. Here is where we start and we go on a short but sweet ride.

Logan finds Ram and they do a bit of talking, only to find out all is not what it seems. I’m going to leave you here with this one only because we get to see something that I enjoyed a bit. So the first story was at least a 3.5 out of 5. Danny Way does a great job writing the story, especially given the limited space, only half an issue. Tommy Lee Edwards is great with the art, especially with the gritty feel of the biker gang. So yeah, the first story was pretty good.

The second half is where this book really shines. Again we get a look into the day to day life of Logan. A Monday through Friday thing and you start right where we left off. As I said earlier we are left with the question of why does Logan do what he does? Why appear everywhere? I never thought about it, but really I figure it was just a way to sell comics.

They do this in an interesting way. Instead of following Logan and finding out through his eyes, we get Spider-Man thrown in. Spider-Man goes into the story saying that Logan is going to kill himself doing what he does. Logan obviously just wants to be left alone and being in a bar just wants to enjoy his drink. Before Logan can throw Spidey out the door a couple muggers step in. No action, just thirty seconds later with Logan towering over them (as much as a short Canuck can tower) and them all webbed up waiting nicely for the police to arrive.

After all this we do get an answer. Again, I won’t spoil it, I mean I do want you to go out there and read the book for yourself. Jason Aaron does little writing again, but the dialogue between Spidey and Logan are spot on. I really like the end bits in particular. Andy Kubert does a great job with the art. Very clean and new looking, definitely enjoyed it.

It’s good to be back and I hope you all go out and enjoy this book like I did. Have any comments or questions, post away. As always, enjoy.

I’m not that hard to please.As a matter of fact, you can churn out the same old schlock time and time again and if I liked it the first time, chances are I will like it next.That’s why I keep buying Nintendo despite my better judgment.Enter Geoff Johns’s mini-series The Flash: Rebirth.

Remember Green Lantern: Rebirth?A DC hero that we thought was dead miraculously comes back and now has to readjust to life in the present.Some people are happy; some people are mad.Now he’s making changes in his life and OH CRAP!Here’s somebody else we thought was dead ruining all our plans!Oh no.

Copy: Hal Jordan
Paste: Barry Allen

Recap/SPOILER ALERT:

Silver Age Flash Barry Allen escaped from the speed force after he transported there during that whole Crisis on Infinite Earths incident.He’s feeling a little guilty in the fact that he made it out while Max Mercury and Johnny Quick still remain trapped.He doesn’t know how or why it happened, but he’s determined to be all business now…regardless, everybody seems to be pretty happy about his return (except for his whiny grandson from the future, Kid Flash Bart Allen…What. A. Bitch.)Hmm…this is strange: All of our friendly neighborhood speedsters are either showing up disintegrated or busting out in these speed seizures. Dead: Black Flash and Savitar.It all has to do with Barry Allen’s touch…like a Grim Reaper for speedsters.Oh Snap.Barry’s the new Black Flash.

Well no more high-fives for Jay Garrick! The Justice League has Barry contained while he’s shooting lightning out of every orifice (eew).Barry decides to run back to the speed force so nobody else will be harmed.Superman tries to talk him out of it but the man has made up his mind.He sees his life flash (haha) before his eyes, but he finally makes it to the speed force just in time to make physical contact with Johnny and Max causing them to turn to dust.BUT WHAT’S THIS KIDS?Before he dies, Max tells Barry it’s not him killing the speedsters it’s…Professor Zoom.Final dialogue from Professor Zoom (with a strikingly not-broken neck)“Do you understand yet, Barry?Do you not see what I’ve done?I’ve shifted you into REVERSE.”

Was your mind just blown?Thought so.Mine was.Then again, it felt that way when Sinestro did the same flippin’ thing in Green Lantern: Rebirth.No joke.It’s essentially the same storyline.It’s okay though;Johns has a gift for keeping me into the story even if it is a little worn out.The thing that stands out above the rest on this series is the art by Ethan Van Sciver.He conveys something as off-the-wall as the Speed Force as a solid possibility through his panel transitions and forcibly stretched images.It actually becomes uncomfortable to look at while we’re in between physical realms. The elongated panels mixed with Barry’s flashbacks are pretty damn impressive and make for an intense last couple of pages.

All in all, I’ve given the first half of this series a strong B.Johns brings heart to every character and even if you’re picking up The Flash for the first time with this series, you’ll be okay.Just sit back and don’t ask too many questions because eventually you’re going to learn all you need to know. With any luck, No. 4 can tell me just how Professor Zoom came to be unbroken.I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that the cosmic treadmill was somehow involved.

So here’s the deal, because of the whole Dark Reign arc going on, they’re throwing two Wolverine issues at us this month to catch up. Wolverine 72 is going to be a double sized Mark Miller spectacle that will conclude the Old Man Logan story, which once is done I’ll review. Old Man Logan has been one of the freshest stories in the Marvel U and if you haven’t checked it out yet I would recommend you go out there and get caught up.

Enough of 72, let’s get to 73. It is actually divided right down the middle as two separate stories, and you know what it, works. The first follows Wolverine’s day to day and it’s a really cool mash up with all the different Marvel characters whether it’s the X-Men, Spiderman, X-Force, The Avengers, or even Deadpool. It works well and is really cool with no real dialogue to carry the story, just comments. You know Deadpool couldn’t appear and not say anything.

Not till the end where him and Yukio had just cleaned up a bunch of ninjas do we get to understand what this is all about. They wind up in bed together and she goes on to ask him why he’s running himself ragged. We get no real answer but we can all make out own assumptions. Wolverine’s life has been crazy and hectic and we’re left with a to be continued after only about ten pages.

Jason Aaron didn’t have to write too much dialogue wise, but the whole idea of following Wolverine day to day was great. It’s nice to be entertained sometimes in a more visual way then a heavy reading book. Don’t get me wrong, I do love great dialogue and storytelling but sometimes the visuals can tell a great story in itself. That’s where Adam Kubert really shines in this issue. The art is great and works well with the concept.

The second half covers a much deeper story. Here we face the trials of being a father and pains the sons can have on them. We all know of Wolverine’s son and although he is never directly mentioned, it’s as if he’s in every frame after the third page.

Wolverine is speeding as Logan on his motorcycle through a dessert on his way to San Francisco from New York and has just been pulled over. He doesn’t seem to want trouble and is saved by a guy known as Horror Show and his biker gang. Apparently he knows Logan and gets him out of any trouble.

They then find themselves at a local bar kicking back some drinks at a biker bar. Horror Show and Logan talk about back in the day as they haven’t seen each other for over thirty years. Horror Show catches Logan up with his life with him losing his wife and one of his two sons. He’s cleaned up sober, no more drinking or drugs and is trying to keep well, although his other son is still on drugs and he isn’t too happy about it.

A rival gang comes into Horror Show’s bar and tells him that his son is now their leader. A fight breaks out and ends real fast. Horror Show is a beast and takes the guy out pretty easily. Logan and Horror Show are sitting out on the front porch when Logan offers to find Horror Show’s son and find out what’s going on.

In the end we find ourselves with Logan on the chase of Horror Show’s son with another to be continued. Two stories, one book, both to be continued. Damn, can’t catch an ending in this book, which is ok, we know this is just a filler, but a good one at that. Daniel Way does a great job as the writer of this second story and really does a great job at making you feel for Horror Show, who as you find out is a rather sad man. The art by Tommy Lee Edwards is a real dirty noir feel, something you would find in Daredevil and it works really well for Wolverine.

So again I liked this story, and although a filler, any Wolverine fan should go check it out. I know we’re getting plummeted with Wolverine everywhere we all look, but it’s ok. I’ve always been a fan so to me this is great. If you’ve read it let me know what you all thought and if you have any comments post away. Enjoy.

Ok, so this is a bit different from the normal comics I review, but after getting this today I couldn’t help it. Eminem’s new album comes out in two weeks and as a marketing scheme they put him in a comic book with who better then The Punisher. When I saw it I couldn’t believe it, and yeah, I couldn’t help myself but to get it. I grew up listening to the music, seen him in concerts multiple times, even sadly own some of his clothing so I couldn’t resist. I’m even still looking forward to his new album, no matter how bad it might be, but that’s here nor there, let’s get to the comic book.

So last month’s XXL (a hip-hop magazine) had an article where Marshal Mathers is dressed as the Punisher. To say the least it was interesting would be an understatement. To be a fan of hip-hop and comic books you have to wonder why no one has done this before. Granted MF Doom does little things and Ghostface does the Iron Man thing, they’re not as main stream as Eminem. So with this they went a step further and did a comic book with them together and surprisingly it’s not that bad.

The book starts with Eminem doing a concert and after the show is leaving in his limousine. As he’s about to get into the car, complaining that he is hungry, The Punisher comes out and starts blasting. We get a lot of !@#$s and MOTHER!@#$in this throughout, which is appropriate for the material and blood flies everywhere, which in this case is great. Punisher takes out Eminem’s crew, who are not recognizable from D12 or anything, and Eminem is on the run. He’s firing a gun at The Punisher and yelling at him and although it probably is supposed to be serious and suspenseful it just comes off funny.

Eventually he’s grabbed up by a guy called Barracuda and they both go on the run ending up in some house. Eminem tries to pull the, I’m a celebrity move on The Punisher and gets him to come into the house. Eminem jumps Punisher and beats in his face with the butt of the gun knocking him out only to find out that he wasn’t the one Punisher was after, Barracuda was. Barracuda then reveals that he has been sent by a Bible group to take him out and shoots Eminem knocking him out.

We now find ourselves on a boat outside Detroit with Eminem chained to Punisher. They start arguing almost like a Deadpool and Punisher segment and eventually Barracuda comes to take them out. He takes Eminem first and throws him off the side of the boat into the frozen water, only to have the ice not break. Barracuda goes for a sniper rifle and Punisher makes his move.

Eminem runs out into the frozen river to find a guy ice fishing. The guy freaks out saying he’s a huge fan and says he would do anything for him. Eminem eyes the chainsaw used to cut the holes in the ice. Now Punisher is on the boat getting the crap kicked out of him when long and behold, Eminem shows up to the rescue. With the chainsaw in hand and Barracuda with a machete they duke it out. Eminem takes the chainsaw to him and rips him apart. Eminem throws him over the boat and into the water only to be faced with Punisher pointing a gun at him.

Punisher makes Eminem get off the boat and onto a piece of ice to float away. Punisher tells Eminem that he’s going after the Parents Music Council for contracting a killer. As Eminem floats out to a sunset he says, “Do me a favor and tell ‘em Shady sent you.” It’s really quite funny.

So no Frank Miller masterpiece, but entertaining none the less. The whole book is dialogued with lyrics from his songs which was fun to read. It’s nothing brilliant, but is simple and works for what it is. Fred Van Lente was the writer and did a great job given the material and surprisingly Frank D’Armata did a great job with the artwork. When you have something like this you don’t expect much, but when it comes out this good you are pleasantly surprised.

So basically if you’re a fan then will enjoy this for what it is. If not, I recommend staying as far away from this as possible. If you have any questions ask away and if you’ve read it let me know, I would love to hear that someone other than myself has read this. Enjoy.

I don’t normally tend to delve into the music world here on GKS, as that’s a whole other beast, but this little musical morsel wet my appetite enough and is pretty relevant to the type of thing we’re all about.

If you’re not aware of the band Mastodon, you should be. They are hands down the most important band working today and are defining and reshaping genres with their latest album, a most amazing opus called Crack the Skye.

Now, the album itself is, for all intents and purposes, a concept album; meaning from the first track to the last, a story is told with a constant narrative. It’s incredibly fascinating and fun and could honestly translate well into a film.

Which is what was talked about over at Billboard – the possibility of a Crack the Skye feature…?

Apparently Brann Dailor, the band’s drummer (and responsible for the album’s story/lyrics) has hammered out a screenplay based on the album, with an unnamed director. The article also says that more than one director has expressed interest.

This is amazing news, if it ever becomes a reality, for the album and it’s story is incredibly cool. A film based on the story would be unlike anything we’d ever seen before, and I can only imagine having Mastodon score the beast – listen to the album for yourself and tell me it wouldn’t make for an epic score.

Crack the Skye’s story, according to Brann Dailor on the album’s Wikipedia entry is:

There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin’s body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin’s body through the crack in the sky(e) and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it’s too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down…there are some obstacles along the way.

Tell me that wouldn’t be an awesome film if done right; I imagine it capturing the tone of Hellboy mixed with Lord of the Rings meets Donnie Darko. Oh how Guillermo Del Toro is made for a project like this.

But for now it’s merely poop shoot, and I doubt anything will happen soon if at all on a Crack the Skye film; but a boy can dream.

Want a taste of what the film could hold? Check out the video for the albums lead single, Divinations. This is utterly epic.

So what are your thoughts – have you heard the album? Yay or nay? What about films based on albums in general?

There is something about the Sub-Mariner that’s just plain fun. He’s a man from underwater that fights Nazis, which is always cool. Again like the Captain America 70th Anniversary we celebrate Namor. Namor I always thought to be a misunderstood character. We know he’s been in love with Sue Storm forever, that he went crazy for a bit, and that he really doesn’t like messing with land affairs, but what about before all this. What about back in 40s when he was just Sub-Mariner. Well this is that story.

We have three separate parts here. The first being untitled is a short story of Namor and his inability to decide who to fight for, the Axis or Allies. It starts with him supporting the Allies but stopping a missile from hitting a Nazi boat. When he comes ashore he meets up with Betty Dean who is ripping him a new one for not letting the missile hit the U-Boat. Namor goes on to say that he doesn’t know why he stopped the missile and Betty lets him have it. Namor then explains that although he doesn’t understand why he did it, he did come to understand that he should have nothing to do with the surface nations. He leaves Betty feeling like she made a mistake by letting him go.

Namor finds himself in a German bar where a woman approaches him. She is Ursula and she convinces Namor to follow her to the U-Boat he saved. She’s a Nazi and is trying to recruit Namor for Axis. Namor listens to Ursula and a Commander talk about a Master Race and Subhumans and is disgusted by it. He eventually takes apart the ship from the inside. He leaves everyone to die and returns to Betty. She apologizes and Namor goes on to say that he realizes that he will help the Allies and that the Nazis had evil in them. It was a short but effective story. Roy Thomas does a great job writing it and the artwork by Mitch Breitweiser is amazing.

The second story is called Vergeltungswaffe! Which I have no idea what it means, but is the simple story of Namor in 1939 in Atlantis being educated about Hitler and the Nazis. He finds out that the Nazi are working on an island and using the Kingdom’s reefs for target practice. This pisses him off and he goes to take care of the situation.

As he swims to his destination, Jenny Keaton is flying over that exact island Namor is on his way to, only to be shot out of the sky and crash land. She’s picked up by the Nazis and taken prisoner. Namor underwater fights a sub and gets knocked out by a torpedoes shockwave. He too is taken prisoner.

The Nazis put Namor into a containment prison where there is no moisture and Jenny being taken as a non threat, shoots the glass container and frees Namor. Namor goes on to save the day using a Kraken to help take out the subs and the base. Namor being from under sea doesn’t understand the human way of helping him without her knowing who he even was. Another story that we are left with Namor puzzled.

The last and final story is the shortest. It follows a very young Namor discovering divers and killing them. He brings them to Atlantis not realizing the divers were alive until he takes off their gear. His mother approves of this action and demands revenge for what the humans had done to Atlantis. Namor listens to his mother and seeks to destroy the humans. Nothing spectacular here, but just some ancient Namor history.

This was an ok book. I like Namor as a character and would love to get to know him better, but this story was somewhat a disappointment. After the Captain America 70th Anniversary issue I expected more out of this one. Let me know if any of you have read it and if you liked it or not. If there are any Namor fans let me know if you could recommend any other Namor reading.

I remember when big-ticket summer flicks first started showing on select IMAX screens. Oh… you didn’t see Matrix Revolutions in IMAX? Well, no wonder you thought it was shitty. Sarcasm aside, let’s be honest with ourselves – if the scenes aren’t shot specifically with an IMAX camera (The Dark Knight, Transformers 2), then who really cares; most regular theaters have pretty fair digital projection and sound systems. With IMAX, apparently seeing the movie in theater on opening day isn’t enough to brag about around the water cooler anymore.

Oh but wait… is IMAX even enough anymore? No.

So what do you do when you’re a movie studio looking to put butts in seats? You do what you always do – you look to the past. But wait, you’ve remade all of the pre-existing films? I know! 3-D! We’ll bring back the third dimension! Popcorn sales will be through the roof!

Well newsflash kids: 3-D is stupid. It’s always been stupid. And unless James Cameron can really develop and utilize a new technology for Avatar like he’s been talking about, it will most likely continue to be stupid.

You do of course remember the glory days of films in 3-D… eyeballs popped out of the screen in Friday the 13th Part III, the shark exploded all over the cinema in Jaws 3, and Michael Jackson actually touched kids in the audience in Moonwalker. It was after these hefty stinkers that the red and blue paper glasses were pretty much doomed to line the garbage cans in theme parks. But we’ve since seen a few major releases pop up over the last decade, and the number of films using (see, cashing in on) 3-D in the last year alone is frightening.

Since 2005 we’ve seen the following titles strain our corneas:

Polar Express

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Chicken Little

Superman Returns

Monster House

Ant Bully

Open Season

The Nightmare Before Christmas 3-D

Meet the Robinsons

Beowulf

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D

Bolt

My Bloody valentine 3-D

Coraline

Monsters vs. Aliens

We’ve also got plenty of titles coming up:

Up

Ice Age 3

G-Force

Final Destination: Death Trip 3-D

Disney’s A Christmas Carol

Avatar

Anyone else see a trend here? I’d say there’s only about 15% of movies that are released featuring 3-D that are worth even giving a shit in a regular screening. So what is 3-D supposed to do, distract us from the inadequacies of the film’s script, character development, acting, directing, etc., etc. Call me a cynic, but I have always been of the belief that if you had done your job right then you wouldn’t need to take the audience out of the film by wearing an extra pair of glasses for a few “eye-popping” scenes that really don’t do anything to progress the story.

I’m also not saying I don’t understand why 3-D is being pushed so heavily. It’s the same reason Jason Statham has a career right now and the same reason Michael Bay walks red carpets. People go to the movies to shut their brains down, eat popcorn and laugh at farts and guffaws and explosions. I understand this completely. 3-D is just Hollywood’s way of force feeding the masses while still keeping up with technology. The thing that kills me the most is that a fair amount of these films are animated films. With these films you can pretty much do anything. You can create anything the mind can imagine, shoot it and edit it all with the computer. You can create as many cameras as your hearts desire. So why bother with 3-D?

Take a look at Wall-E – that film was amazingly shot with stunning cinematography, some of the best I’ve seen period. Would 3-D have made it any better? No.

Now take a look at, oh I don’t know… Punisher: War Zone. A steaming pile of feces. A stain on the face of film. Would 3-D have made that film better? No. It would have made it Punisher: War Zone 3-D.

It’s a pointless, flashy gimmick that we need to get over, fast or else we’re just going to see the market become saturated while more and more legitimately good movies get brushed under the rug.

Think about it this way – if I have a kid and that kid is crying, wailing for nothing but candy for dinner, am I going to give in and just feed it sugar? Probably not. But then there’s some parents who say (from Maury’s sound-stage) “but my baby wants candy so my baby will get candy!”. How is that good? If we just cave in and get just what we want, then we’ll always take the path of least resistance and just stick with being satisfied. The same thing goes with movie-goers.

Also, it f*cking costs extra?! It’s roughly $3 extra to see a film in 3-D. This is just ridiculous. If a film is intended to be watched in a way that is optimal, it should only cost the price of admission. Does this mean that the people who saw Monsters vs. Aliens sans 3-D who paid the regular, merely-subtle-ass-rape ticket prices are seeing a poorer version of the film? My head is about to explode…

So the next time you go to the theater and put those glasses on, really ask yourself is this necessary? And when the credits roll 90 minutes later, take a minute to reflect on whether or not the 3-D aspect made the movie truly any better.

Cap has been around for 70 years. That’s a long friggen time when you think about it. People picked up their first issue of Captain America 70 years ago and here I am today enjoying Captain America as one of my favorite super heroes.

We all know that Captain America is not longer the Steve Rogers we all knew and loved, but is now his old partner who was thought to be dead Bucky Barnes. When the Civil War broke out I started reading comics again and the character that hit me the most was Captain America (beside Wolverine who had always been my favorite till this point). I was rooting for him from the beginning and for the anti-registration act so to see him lose at the end sucked in my opinion. I wanted to see Tony Stark get shut down, but no, Cap being who he is laid down his shield and surrendered.

Not long after Civil War ended Cap went to trial and was shot. Just like that, a new favorite character of mine was gone. But how could they do this. This is Captain America. He had to come back to life, or this was a fake. I was reading as fast as I could through all the books only left disappointed to find Steve Rogers was dead. So I went out and bought Captain America Omnibus and got caught up to speed. That was it, I was hooked. I even really enjoy Bucky now as Captain America. I do suspect though something to happen in the future with Steve Rogers, I’m just not sure what yet.

So getting to Captain America Comics 70th Anniversary Special 01, it is a great comic. We get to read the story about how Steve tried to get into the army and was denied because of his size. Macos Martin really does a great job at making Steve look so frail and skinny like he could break like a twig. Through the book when he’s being chased down by the three men trying to get the amulet from him, we get to see some pre-Cap moves. Captain America was always one to improvise and we get to see that here. Even when he is being chased he picks up a garbage can top and uses it as a shield. It was great to see him throw it at one of the baddies and knock the gun out of his hand. This is the Cap we all know and love.

This is all told through Bucky, which is kind of cool considering what we know about him now. I really like seeing the earlier side of Bucky and we get to see him start as a young kid who will eventually turn into a killer assassin. James Robinson does a great job as the writer for this book and does justice to Cap 70 years later.

The book also includes an older comic from 1941 which is “Captain America: Death Loads the Bases!” It’s a great little tribute with Captain America playing baseball. I mean what can be more American than that. I really enjoyed the whole book and I hope that it will be around for another 70 years so people will be able to enjoy it then like I’m enjoying Cap now. If you’ve read it let me know or just have any comments about Cap post them up.

I know Deadpool is a beloved character to many, and recently I have to admit I have grown to be a fan, but this book was really just ok. I was excited about it when I saw it was coming out and really wanted to like it, but it just didn’t meet Deadpool standards.

The book is short and doesn’t offer too much. It starts with Deadpool being offered a job by Mr. Kilgore to find his son, Julian. His son is a spoiled brat who can’t seem to do anything right. Here with the opening page and Deadpool’s comments make you think that this is a book that could be something really good. His son is supposedly missing on some island where they shoot a reality TV show where people have to survive to get one million dollars. It sounds like it could go somewhere really funny, but no. Just like reality TV shows, (and I’m sorry to anyone who really does enjoy them but this is just my opinion) it sucks.

He gets to the island, flirts with the coordinating chick (which ok, is kind of funny), but from there they introduce the cast. No one is the least bit interesting, and although they try to make it funny by using the stereotypes that we all get a good laugh out of now and then, it’s just not funny.

So they start the show with Deadpool, who isn’t dressed as Deadpool, and other characters, who we really don’t care about, and one by one they all die. At the end, there are two left and they expose that they knew Deadpool had a mask on the whole time. Again, we just don’t really care as an audience. Finally everyone is dead, and Deadpool is the only one left standing, which I guess is the proper thing for a Deadpool comic.

There are a few twists at the end, which I won’t ruin if you still decide to go pick it up, but overall I was not happy. I think there is so much you can do with Deadpool, and they just dropped the ball with this One Shot.The art is ok, the writing is ok, so just overall this one is just ok. Let me know what you guys thought of this if you already have read it, or if you have any comments or questions, just post it.

“Listen up, bub. From where I come from…them’sfightin’ words.” –Wolverine

Think Sin City meets X-Men and that is what we have here. This story is a great little noir tale the takes all the X-Men characters we love, strips them of their powers, and puts them in a world of corruption and despair. I know the whole idea of X-Men without powers may turn you off of this series, but trust me, it works. Also not including the newest and last issue of the four part series, the previous three have sold out and have been reprinted the following week.

We start out with a world where the X-Men are run by Charles Xavier, except this isn’t the Charles who wants to bring together all mutants. No, this is a world where Charles’s belief is that sociopaths are the next step in the human/genetic evolution and he wants to teach them how to be better criminals. And in this noir world one of the X-Men’s own has been murdered and it happens to be Jean Grey. This brings on the attention of the police and their Chief and his Brotherhood. If you haven’t guessed the Chief is Magnus and it is a really cool take on the character. And that’s only the first few panels.

Other characters include Iceman as a thief, Beast as an intellectual, Wolverine as a ship captain, Gambit as a club owner, and Cyclops as a sharpshooter. These are just a few of the characters, and most of those just have small roles. The story continues to figure out who murdered Jean and takes a bunch of twists and turns through the noir world of the X-men. I don’t want to give away anything but I will let you know after reading the fourth one, they do tie up all the loose ends and everything you’ve read to this point comes together quite nicely. As a four part series every issue leaves you yearning for the next as they leave you with such great cliffhangers. And the best part is if you just decided to check out the series now, all four are available so you won’t have to wait month to month like I did.

The artwork was amazing, as it was done by Dennis Calero. If you’re a fan of the X-Factor series you will be immediately immersed into his world. He really brings the dark feel of a noir book into the X-Men universe and does it well. You feel like you are reading a Sin City book with the way it works. Even the second printing covers are so similar with the black silhouettes of the characters, which personally are some of the best touches to this short series.

So as you can tell I was a fan I thought it was a great series and you should definitely check it out. I’m excited because they’re going to finish the Spider-Man noir series next week which I will be sure to report on then and for now let me know what you thought about the series if you read it and if you have any questions shoot them my way. Enjoy!

Wow, hot on the trail of the confirmed casting of Mickey Rourke for Iron Man 2, Deadline Daily Hollywood once again reports another juicy addition to the seemingly endless stream of stars on board for the sequel. That person is Scarlett Johannson. The role is the super-cool and deadly Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow.

Rumors had circulated a little while ago that Emily Blunt (Charlie Wilson’s War, The Devil Wears Prada) had been offered the role, but those were quickly shot down, apparently due to conflicting shooting schedules.

Personally, I think this is great casting. I think given the right vehicle, Scarlett could prove to be a real powerhouse in the more fun, action-centric flicks. Lord knows she needs some good roles after her last couple of stinkers (The Spirit ohgodmyeyesitburns).

Jackie Earle Haley, the man who now will be forever known as Rorschach, is coming to t.v’s near you. Haley has announced his involvement with a pilot for a show called “The Human Target.” He will play the information gatherer for the show’s lead character. Here is what we know about the pilot so far: Mark Valley (Boston Legal) will play Christopher Chance, a mysterious freelancer who offers the unique service of assuming the identity of people in danger; becoming the “human target” on behalf of his clients. Chi McBride will play a business partner and friend.

The show is based on a DC/Vertigo comic series’. The Human Target was created by Len Wein and Carmine Infantino He originally appeared in back-up stories in Action Comics beginning in December of 1972. The character was a nod to DC’s rich history of unique private eyes and detectives. The character subsequently appeared in Batman, Detective Comics and The Brave and the Bold.Recently, the character has moved to Vertigo where Christopher Chance was revived by writer Peter Milligan for an original graphic novel, a four issue miniseries, and an ongoing series that lasted 21 issues. The series and the graphic novel: Human Target: Final Cut are still being printed, and you should be able to find them in the better comic book shops. I highly recommend you take a look at it! “Human Target” was actually already a t.v. show. It aired on ABC, and it’s first episode ran in 1992. It starred Rick Springfield as Christopher Chance, and was cancelled after only 7 episodes due to poor ratings. Sad.

I’m pretty excited about this news. First off, Jackie Earle Haley is a talented actor, and I’m glad he’s parlaying his Watchmen fame into more work (even if it is just t.v. work). He’ll be great. I’m also a pretty big fan of Mark Valley. You’d probably know him from “Boston Legal.” He is currently perfecting his cold, creepy, evil stare on “Fringe.” The guy is supremely talented, and to play a character like Christopher Chance, you’d have to be. The character is like a master of disguise, taking on the looks AND personae of his “clients.” Valley would have to go from bad-ass to heartfelt good guy, then to funny guy and right back to bad-ass. Valley could play any part he is asked to play. He’s the right age and size. The guy is intense! Superb casting.

I have read Human Target: Final Cut, and I am a big fan. This comic could’ve easily been transferred to the big screen, so kudos to FOX for having the brains to make the right choice of medium for the character. I don’t easily give FOX any kudos, so that’s a pretty big deal itself. FOX is well known for it’s poor reality programming and it’s evil ability to cancel any show, at any time, no matter how good the show actually is. Remember, this is the network that pre-maturely cancelled Firefly, Arrested Development, The Tick, Family Guy (which was only brought back due to high DVD sales), Undeclared, Futurama, Dark Angel, Sliders… Have I made my point yet or should I keep going? Human Target hasn’t even aired it’s pilot episode, and it’s facing grim odds. But the cast is there, so all they need is good writing and a decent time slot. Hopefully, the show will succeed. As always, I will keep you posted on any further developments.