The Local Law Got Their Guns, Drugs And A Quarter Million In CashThey were not amused April 18, 2018

Some of the dope and some the money recovered. Larger images below. Photos: KCSO

LARGER IMAGES OF ABOVE, CLICK TO ENLARGE. Some of the dope and some the money recovered. Photos: KCSO

Chronicle News & expert crime analysisBy Rex D. Cain

(REGIONAL) – It’s getting harder and harder to lead a decent life of crime; to have a career as it were in the criminal arts. Oh woe, woe, woe are some folks today.

Some days being a criminal is a royal pain in the you know what. You try so hard to do the right (criminal) thing and a make a few bucks, have a few laughs, maybe rent a Gulf Stream to go to Vegas now and then for a spendy week of gambling, booze, dope and hookers and then what goes and happens?

Those schmucks with badges go and ruin your whole day and steal all your stuff. They just take it all.

And on top of that they throw you in the hoosegow and feed you lousy jail food (no slight intended to the fine cooks at the King County Jail).

And that is exactly what happened when King County Sheriff’s Office (KCSO) detectives mercilessly served multiple search warrants in King, Pierce, and Thurston Counties last Friday. They took it all.

The gendarmes announced yesterday afternoon that guns, drugs and a hump-load of cash were recovered when they dropped down like 300-pound vampire bats out for serious blood on a group of alleged criminalies – you know, the swarthy types (although it is possible a few unswarthies were in attendance as well).

The law men and women scooped up guns (alleged dopers always seem to have guns lying about, why is that?) drugs (well, the drugs go without saying) and big moola – $250,000 in cash. Whoa Nellie! Somebody’s baby not gonna have a new pair of shoes this week.

“This was a very successful operation demonstrating great hard work and dedication by KCSO detectives,” said a statement released by the KCSO Tuesday afternoon, which certain reporters thought was extremely modest and understated, considering the circumstances.

The finer points

Those KCSO detectives served multiple (we dunno exactly how many) search warrants on several residences and a business in King, Pierce, and Thurston Counties.

During the course of these search warrants being served – and to the consternation and stomach churning of the alleged criminalies – the detectives seized four guns (calibers unknown), 3.5 pounds of dope (cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine) and $250,000 cash. That’s a lot of greenbacks in one place at one time.

Booked into the slam for drug related charges were:

~ A 47 year old guy from Kent, Washington

~ A 34 year old guy from lovely Lacey, Washington (where sometimes during a warm, Spring day you’ll catch a slight whiff of sweet smelling wild flowers as they begin to bloom)

~ A 29 year old guy from Puyallup, Washington (home to a very nice annual fair)

~ A 56 year old woman (can’t forget the ladies now can we?) also from Puyallup.

Let this be a lesson kids. Crime does not pay. You read it here first.