Archive for February, 2013

First of all, I realized recently that one of my holes had grown closed. Pierced ear hole, thank you. Yesterday morning I was able to force my thick, original stud in my right ear. Ouch! I went to put any earring in the left ear and the only earring that I could get to go in was a very thin gauge post, almost like a needle. I poked and poked and pushed and forced and finally essentially re-pierced my ear. The squeak and pop when it poked though made my daughter Emily woozy. I had to sleep on that big earring all night and it was a giant pearl. It was not in the least bit comfortable. Nor did it match my jammies, it was too dressy.

My throbbing ears woke me up at 3 a.m. and I heard a very strange noise, potentially in the house. The house and the street were dead quiet except for a very faint strange “ffffssssshhhhh”. That’s what woke me up, it was a sound that I was not used to. So I sat up in bed and then accidentally on purpose rustled around to accidentally on purpose wake up Mike, my husband. What follows is an actual conversation that Mike and I had.

Mike: “What’s the matter?”

Me: “I hear something!”

Mike: “What? I don’t hear anything.”

Me: “Exactly!!”

Mike: “All I hear is the furnace running”

Me: “I’m telling you it’s something.”

Mike: “Well, let’s narrow this down. Do you hear the furnace?”

Me: “No, duh! What do you think I am, stupid?”

Mike: “What does it sound like?”

Me: “fffsssshhhh”

Mike gets out of bed to feel the register to see if the heat is coming out. It is. I state that maybe the furnace isn’t working. He is not amused and gets back into bed.

(FURNACE SHUTS OFF)

Mike: “Do you still hear it?”

Me: “Yes, I am going to go search.”

Pause

Mike: tone, less than amused “Yeahhhh, you go do that.”

I searched the basement, looked at the furnace, the hot water heater, the sump pump and the water softener, which seemed to be making a faint “fffssshhh”.

I returned to bed.

Me: “Well that solves it.”

Mike: “What was it?”

Me: “It was nothing. But I still hear it.”

Pause

Mike: “Now I hear it.”

Me: “What is it?”

Mike: “Nothing.”

Me: “Oh, that explains it.”

Pause

Mike: “Well, it sounds like in the fall when they have those big machines out in the fields drying the corn”

Me: “Do they do that in February in the snow?”

Mike: “No”

Me: “Well, I guess it’s not that.”

Slight pause

Mike: “No”

Me: “Hmm, must be nothing then.”

Mike: “Yup”

20 Minutes later

Mike: “I think it stopped.”

Pause

Me: “I still hear it.”

Mike: humpf

Me: “Oh, you are right. I don’t hear it anymore.”

30 minutes later

Me: “Sorry you can’t sleep”

Mike: “That’s okay, what’s sleep anyways?”

Me: “My ears are throbbing”

Mike: “Go to sleep!”

At around 4:30 we both finally fell asleep to have the clock wake us up at 5:30 to start another day. Good thing I’m already a natural beauty because if I was in the need of beauty sleep last night was not the night to get it. My ears are still throbbing. And now I need a nap.

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