Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Silencing the Inner Critic: What would your best friend say?

I can't remember if I read it or if someone told me.

What if you talked to yourself as
if you were your best friend?

It stopped me in my tracks. My inner critic which had been having a go
at me for not getting up earlier, for not working harder, for not being more
focused, was interrupted. I realised my best friend wouldn't be talking to me
like this. She would be encouraging. She would be telling me to listen to my
body. To be kind to myself. To accept some days are more productive than
others.

Castellers supporting each other in Santa Ponsa

My inner critic likes to blame me for things beyond my control. It likes to whisper regrets in my ear. You
should have done things differently. You should have known better. But if I
swap it for my best friend's voice, it completely changes. The voice says, it's
okay, it didn't work out but you learned so much from that experience. Persevere.

My best friend's voice is much more practical than my inner critic. On a
really personal note, I thought I'd have a baby by now. It hasn't happened. My
inner critic sneers, says I'm not so 'creative' after all. My best friend's
voice suggests I go to the doctor again if I'm worried. She tells me to relax.
To not beat myself up about it.

This week two of my friends were facing unkind inner critics and I passed on the question:

What if you talked to yourself as
if you were your best friend?

Both told me later that it had really helped them. So I thought I'd write it
down and share it, in case you need to shut up your inner critic too.

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