Yahoo! took it upon themselves to announce the 100 Funniest Movies You Should See Before You Die. Naturally, because Yahoo! doesn't have the courage to do so, they didn't bother ranking the films. They only listed them in alphabetical order, thus saving themselves from the inevitable backlash, the Internet quarrels about how ridiculous it is that they'd rank _____ ahead of ______ or _______ thirty spots behind _________.

I acknowledge ranking the 100 Funniest Films of All Time is maybe the dumbest thing anyone can do. Comedy is subjective. Not a soul alive could rank these 100 movies in such a way as to make one single other person satisfied. It can't be done. But, really, you need the rankings to provoke the conversation: Otherwise, it's just a list of 100 funny films. You need a starting point. The Internet was created so that we could bitch anonymously, and lists are the fuel for our kvetchery.

So, I took the liberty of ranking their list of 100 films. This is the way I'd rank them. I'd probably rank them differently tomorrow. I concede, too, that I am wrong. That anyone attempting this task would be dead fucking wrong. Nevertheless, I present them as an opening salvo. I welcome your slings, arrows, and cries of trollery.

What you cannot convince me of, however, is that my number one is wrong. It is not. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

100. Pee Wee's Big Adventure

99. When Harry Met Sally

98. The Producers

97. Serial Mom

96. 9-5

95. Adam's Rib

94. Billy Madison

93. Soapdish

92. The Aristocrats

91. How to Marry a Millionaire

90. The Player

89. Diner

88. The Bank Dick

87. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

86. Heaven Can Wait

85. The In-Laws

84. Bowfinger

83. Waiting for Guffman

82. Zoolander

81. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

80. Bring It On

79. Kung Fu Hustle

78. Love and Death

77. Rushmore

76. Tampopo

75. Hot Fuzz

74. Pulp Fiction

73. Kind Hearts and Coronets

72. Modern Times

71. Borat

70. Dazed and Confused

69. La Cage aux Folles

68. A Shot in the Dark

67. After Hours

66. Ball of Fire

65. Bridget Jones Diary

64. The General

63. The Odd Couple

62. Bad Santa

61. Best in Show

60. Used Cars

59. Tropic Thunder

58. Friday

57. Sullivan's Travels

56. The Hangover

55. Swingers

54. South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut

53. This is Spinal Tap

52. Dumb and Dumber

51. Some Like It Hot

50. Trading Places

49. Tootsie

48. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

47. National Lampoon's Vacation

46. Heathers

45. Clueless

44. A Christmas Story

43. Wet Hot American Summer

42. Withnail and I

41. There's Something About Mary

40. Raising Arizona

39. Election

38. Bull Durham

37. Slap Shot

36. Black Dynamite

35. Harold and Maude

34. Bridesmaids

33. National Lampoon's Animal House

32. Arthur

31. Duck Soup

30. It Happened One Night

29. Coming to America

28. M*A*S*H

27. In the Loop

26. Caddyshack

25. The Apartment

24. Old School

23. The 40-Year-Old Virgin

22. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

21. Fletch

20. Monty Python's Life of Brian

19. Shaun of the Dead

18. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

17. Arsenic and Old Lace

16. All About Eve

15. A Fish Called Wanda

14. Groundhog Day

13. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

12. Dr. Strangelove

11. Young Frankenstein

10. Blazing Saddles

9. Office Space

8. The Princess Bride

7. Annie Hall

6. The Jerk

5. His Girl Friday

4. Ghostbusters

3. Airplane

2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

1. The Big Lebowski

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.