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My Comedy Struggle

Comedy is rough man, because I don’t desire approval. I think many comedians struggle with confidence, and seek out love, and validation from complete strangers. I don’t suffer from low-self esteem, and I kinda see this as an issue for me, because it makes me unlikeable as a comic. I am just getting started and other comedians have told me my voice will develop, and eventually people will understand who I am as a person within minutes. I love comedy, and I love making people laugh, but I don’t give a flying fuck about approval, and I believe this causes me to lack vulnerability which is what you need to survive in comedy. Whenever I act like an airhead people fucking laugh and I get the audience on my side, but if I go on stage as a snarky asshole I tend to bomb! Its EXTREMELY frustrating because although I am a ding bat, I am intelligent, and I don’t really want to go on stage as a character, because ultimately I will just become some fucking parody, and I would get so pissed off UNLESS I made a lot of money, that may make me seem like a shitty artist, but at least I am honest. Comedy is still a fucking business, and unfortunately some people are just more marketable.

I did an open mic the other night which gets broadcast on Periscope, and at the end viewers were allowed to ask us questions. I was the only comic in the room with a vagina. A viewer asked is it tough being a female comic? I said yes, because there are still jokes a man can tell that a woman cannot. I think it is much easier for a man to come across as an asshole than a woman. Sure there are female comics with asshole personas, but it is tougher for a woman to be accepted as one. I feel like people hate me when I go on stage as a snarky bitch, but are more drawn to me when I play the dumb card. It pisses me off! On the bright side I have another show Jan 28th! at El Bar in Los Angeles.