"a fish, a barrel, and a smoking gun"for 30 August 1999. Updated every WEEKDAY.

As we commence our four-years-deferred summer vacation, the
Sucksters are nonplused at the sorry state of vacationing's main
function  putting some good old entertainment into your life. Frankly,
the glut of "infotainment" and "edutainment" media has left little
room for our own favorite diversion: "irritainment." Submitted for your
delectation are four of Suck's most exciting journeys to the pastime
paradise. If you're looking for the kind of sight-and-sound sensory underload
that Suck provides at reliable 14.4 speeds, click no further than
Rhyme and Reason, our
salute to TV's greatest
theme songs. More scientifically minded folks will want to peruse
Smoke Out,
an occasionally accurate
look at how those box office high-flyers manage to get so, well, high. And
true starfuckers get a double dose with
Vodka on Ice, our always timely
look at the always troubled career of a fine actor, and the
Dancing Baby Boom, starring
everybody's favorite virtual embarrassment.