Chicken Crust Margherita Pizza — Ketogenic or Not?

If you haven’t yet heard of the so-called Ketogenic Chicken Pizza Crust, you’ve been asleep. It’s all the rage.

Is it good? Yes, and far better than any of the other alternatives I’ve tried. I’ll get to that.

But let’s digress for a minute. Is it “Ketogenic?” Fuck that. You know, this shit used to be a lot more rational. The alternatives—like cauliflower crust or meatza—were always touted as what they actually were: low-carb, grain-free versions of a popular comfort food. Now, that’s not good enough. Now, stuff has to be “ketogenic,” as though that means something. It doesn’t.

This does mean something, though: ketotardedness. Why? Because, very simply, for ‘tards: any food is ketogenic if you eat only that food, and little enough of it, and any food is fattening if you eat only that food and overeat enough of it.

While all successful fat-loss diets are necessarily highish-fat diets because you add your body fat consumption to your dietary fat consumption for total fat consumption, so too are all successful fat-loss diets ketogenic, since ketones are a byproduct of fat metabolism, both dietary and body fat. Macros are fucking irrelevant, except to the extent that you prefer one over another and that you are more likely to maintain a 600+ kcal deficit for the duration. It’s all that fucking matters and the rest is ketoshyster bullshit for their ketotarded marks.

There is no magic that makes any food ketogenic or fattening. How about I give you a recipe for a ketogenic cheesecake? Easy. It’s one whole cake and it comes out to 1,500 calories, You eat one whole cheesecake per day, but that’s all you eat, and all you need to do is be active enough to burn 2,100 calories or more each day.

For the sauce, it’s enough for two, perhaps three, pizzas, so make it all up, sauce your pie, save the rest for the next time, which probably won’t be far off.

Take the big can of whole, peeled tomatoes and pulse in the blender a few times. Just pulse. Crush 4 large cloves of garlic and sauteé with about a tsp olive oil for a couple of minutes, until you feel the aroma.

See? Little oil.

Then, add your pulsed sauce, the chopped basil leaves, and also: 1/2 tsp sugar, 1/4 tsp salt, and a pinch of black pepper. Simmer it, stirring occasionally, for about 45 minutes in order to reduce it to between 1 1/2 and 2 cups. The best way to tell it’s done is when the bubbles look like mud bubbles instead of water bubbles. Transfer it to a holding dish to cool.

The crust is the tricky part and what you like is up to you. There are a number of chicken crust recipes, so Google and check them out. Most involve pre-cooking the crust quite a bit. Others call for first desiccating the chicken itself for a few minutes in the oven, then mixing it, then cooking it for about 20, then topping and cooking the pizza. For the first time out, I tried something I hadn’t seen in the other versions: a pizza stone.

First, drain the chicken well. Then mix in the two eggs and 2 ounces of grated fresh parmesan.

At about the time you start cooking the sauce, put your oven to max (500-550) with the stone in the bottom third of the oven.

By the time your sauce is done and set in a holding dish and your “dough” is well mixed and mashed, your pizza stone will be hot as shit. You want to work rather quickly. Take out the stone, close the oven door, lower the oven to 500, and spread the “dough” on the stone, about 1/4″ thick.

Place it in the oven for about 6 minutes to pre-cook a bit. My hypothesis here is that because of the high and extreme heat and heat retention of the stone, it will serve to dry out the “dough” a lot faster than the methods with a lengthy pre-cook. You’ll get to decide for yourself.

Take it back out, close the door, sauce the pie, and arrange mozzarella. I think I was a bit heavy on the cheese.

Cook about 13-15 minutes, until the cheese bubbles and the tops of the bubbles brown. Remove it from the oven and try to get it off the stone soon. I found the crust slightly fragile, so I cut it into four pieces and plated it immediately.

Et voilà.

And now we come to my favorite part. Dismissing all the rot about keto and carbs, the point of the pizza is PROTEIN! Yea! Fuckin’ PROTEIN, baby. And because it’s lean chicken, the fat is pretty reasonable. Over 50% of the calories are from protein.

Dudes and dudesses: now here is a ketogenic pizza if you eat just one whole one per day and nothing else. And you know what? If you eat it half at a time, six hours apart, with its 152 grams of highly satiating protein, you just might have an easy time of it.

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“The researchers divided their subjects into two groups. Both groups went on a low calorie diet, one with higher levels of protein than the other. The higher-protein group experienced muscle gains — about 2.5 pounds — despite consuming insufficient energy, while the lower protein group did not add muscle.”

I keep kosher now, so am wondering how to make this compliant with that system. Have there been any nut cheeses that you’ve found particularly good? I feel like it’s hard to replicate that singular taste of real mozzarella and parmesan.

I recently was served a quinoa dish (I wasn’t enthusiastic about it being on my plate) that reminded me so much of pizza. I think it was the mozzarella, parmesan, tomato and basil on top. Wondering if I could swap quinoa for the chicken and make a kosher version. Might have to experiment with this.

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jackie
Keeping kosher keto is a bit of a problem. I use a product for a coconut milk based cheese (sliced) for my “cheeseburger”. I like it, but my dog, who loves real cheese and eats anything….spit it out.

There is a line of very good nut cheese spreads etc called Treeline, no soy, no gluten, no carbs which has a Kosher hecksher (parve)

I think I saw something on line for kosher keto recipes that looked very good.

Experiment and let me know if you come up with something that can satisfy like RIchards’s pizza….

I find it so remarkable, how some days, given 180-220g protein, like 800 calories, and I’m only at 1,500 of a 1,780 daily budget, just went over 2,500 burn on Fitbit and I have no desire for anything more.

After that pizza last night around 8, I was done at about 1,700 total for the day, 2,500 burn. I just hit the 18 hour point and am finally hungry again, but I’m saying hell, about time I pushed it to at least 24 hours, since haven’t done that in quite a while. Perhaps I’ll push it to tomorrow morning.

This is probably not the place, but thought What the Hell (have to try Facebook one day).

I often go by Tom Naughton’s blog to see what he writes. There is a funny article about Vegan Toona. But, you have been removed from his Blogroll. Do not weep.

It is a real shame that all these people who share a common ground with mocking American science have to put themselves into corners with no chance of escape.

I look at you as living in a circular room, oval office or round space. There are no corners for you to back into. And if you do stroll into a rectangular room and find yourself being pushed into a corner, you always find a quick way out before you become trapped. Or come out swinging if you do get backed in too far.

You would make an excellent scientist, but piss off most of your colleagues.

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So, calories and real food are your focus for weight loss? I have had trouble doing potato hack for more that a day or two. But, I’m still years ahead of the time that I couldn’t have potatoes without an immune system (crippled) response. I’m thrilled to do peasant food, it makes so much sense. But how often are you jumping up the protein? Just by how you feel? N.

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I think the following is the best low-carb pizza recipe I’ve found. As a diabetic, I’ve looked for years for a tasty pizza recipe. I have not tried the chicken one above yet, but previous chicken crusted pizzas I have tried wind up not tasting like pizza. I love the egg and cheese crust on this one.

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I'm Richard Nikoley. Free the Animal began in 2003, and as of 2017, contains over 4,500 posts and 100,000 comments from readers. I cover a lot of ground, blogging what I wish...from health, diet, and lifestyle to philosophy, politics, social issues, and cryptocurrency. I celebrate the audacity and hubris to live by your own exclusive authority and take your own chances in life. [Read more...]

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