Grandaddy reunite for limited shows; glass dishes of Werther’s Originals to be distributed at each venue

I said what now? Ohh ho ho, yes, yes. That is what I was just discussin’ about. Why, I plum forgot, drew me a blank soon as I’d set these gums to flappin’! Heeh heh heh heh, yep, that’s yer ol’ Grandaddy alright. Old coot now, old coot then. Yes child, I was a wild thing in my day, nothing like the kind a hopped up foolishness you see on the TV more ‘n more these days, no the 90s were a different time, now I won’t say better for I seen enough gray hairs sprout ‘n my time to let naivety rule the day, but tell me if you think ‘em youngsters ‘d find time for summin like yours truly, now imagine me with a lil’ more meat on my bones and a big ol’ trucker hat? Now ‘course there weren’t no ironic this-and-that on that hat, see it was a different spirit, if I felt like John Deere and I’s fixin’ to sing ‘bout my place as a young buck truckin’ through this life and findin’ my place in that darn technosphere ‘s just about ass-ploded if you ask me in recent times.

Now I said I did, I said I’m comin’ back to the stage, no I don’t need no doctor called in, you show the elderly some respect, you don’t believe me why don’t you give a hoot ‘n holler across that pond to th’ folks behind End of the Road Festival, you call and you ask ‘em if there’s anyone on that bill besides a bunch of youngsters showin’ off their fresh pies and sayin’, “you wouldn’t dare snatch this off m’ gilded windowsills,” well just wait til’ five years from now let’s see if yer pretty lil’ heads ain’t spinnin’ at all them changes and that damn chorus o’ children shouting louder n’ louder, “Get off the road, Grandaddy, speed limit’s 350 and we got the devil’s fire in our bellies.”

So I said f’rget that, I’m settin’ my old guitars up and yes synthesizers buck-o, get set right up there next t’ Grizzly Bear, maybe win myself a mention in that Jay-Z Decoded Vlog? Now I unnerstand I’m gettin’ on in years, but I’m workin’ overtime ‘tween my chin and my kneecaps if you understand metaphors now. I figure if I limit my song-singin’ to September 1 at this festival that’ll be plenty to set back after ‘n evaluate what’s next, most likely another show if the ol’ hootin’ front row crowd comes back ‘round for more from the ‘Daddy. Now come ‘round the other side here and fix m’ blanket, I’m not shamed a no draft down there.

Lazer Sword? Uh, they call that a lightsaber, bro! Ought to go see a Star War, bro! Totally slammed some anonymous bros right there. The game is over, though, because I have real, true news about Lazer Sword, the electronic duo consisting of producers Low Limit and Lando Kal. If you’re not familiar, they say that their music “feels like surfing down the side of a volcano,” which sounds really hot and uncomfortable. I get what they’re saying, though. It’s a simple math problem where volcano = rad and surfing = rad, so volcano + surfing = rad x 2.

Soon, the world will get more volcano surfing music, as the duo is releasing their second record Memory on April 27 via Monkeytown. You may know Monkeytown as the label run by Modeselektor, who you may know as those guys Thom Yorke likes a whole lot. A month before the album’s release, Lazer Sword will be on a tour of the United States, including a stop in SXSW, like all the other bands that there are. They’ll celebrate the release of their new record by touring Europe, where they will be playing shows until roughly the midpoint of May. On a tangential note, I was really scared when I was six and I saw Obi-wan Kenobi cut off that alien’s arms in Star Wars.

It’s nearly the official beginning of spring, and you know what that means; it’s time to commemorate the 13th anniversary of the opening of Legoland California! Now, everyone grab your lego collections and let’s rendezvous at the parking lot in Carlsbad. I’m convinced that, given a large enough turnout, we can independently expand the acreage of Legoland so that Lego hospitals, Lego public libraries, Lego beggars, and Lego strip clubs inhabit every inch of the state, creating a virtual replica. We. Can. Do. This!

Beyond that, however, spring also corresponds with the beginning of festival season, and in Seattle, that basically means one event in particular, to local appreciators of independent music: Sasquatch. Forget Sasquatch for a moment though; what about those clamoring for a dose of experimental aural immersion, who would otherwise be left unfulfilled by an event where Jack White and Beck are two of the headliners? Months prior to Seattle’s more extensive dedication to electronic/experimental music, Decibel Festival, and preceding even Sasquatch itself, Debacle Records have announced their fifth annual festival, Debacle Fest 2012, to take place in Seattle at the Black Lodge and the Josephine on May 4, 5, and 6. The line-up features the following artists, with more set to be announced in the near future: Mark McGuire, Rene Hell, Eternal Tapestry, Sean McCann, Operative, Pulse Emitter, Brain Fruit, and Dull Knife.

Ignoring for a moment the fact that Debacle Fest satisfies a festival’s most basic requirement — having a bunch of artists perform — it’s tough to consider this an event designed to attract large swathes of the coffee-drinking, trail-hiking public at large. For one, there’s probably a ceiling on the number of people who are actually willing to explore this type of music, and two, the Black Lodge doesn’t even have an advertised address. Seriously. That’s one way to dissuade the lukewarm.

Peter Rehberg, prolific collaborator and owner of the Austria-based experimental label Editions Mego, has decided to temporarily renounce his second life as a Middle Eastern bread with a pocket in the middle, in order to resuscitate (or, maybe they’ve just been working very very gradually for the past three years) his project with sunn 0)))’s Stephen O’Malley, otherwise known as KTL. Whereas their most recent album, IV, was, as a press release describes, “recorded and made in a [relatively] short period in a more traditional rock environment,” their upcoming LP, V, due out May 8, has all the hallmarks of, well, basically any album released on Editions Mego (in terms of having an avant-garde or improvisational feel to it), but with a departure in style reminiscent of… you know, I really can’t think of an unoffensive example where a band or musician has successfully altered their style for the better. Someone help me out here.

In any case, V shouldn’t be anything as drastic as, say, RJD2 exploring his more sensitive side, so we need not be worried. In fact, there are plenty of reasons to be utterly smitten with the prospect of this release — not the least of which is the implication that comes with Icelandic composer Jóhann Jóhannsson orchestrating the track “Phill 2.” It’s time to don your tuxedos, Mr. Rehberg and Mr. O’Malley; you may have just entered an entirely new realm of musical sophistication. Click here for the official release page.

Death Grips bucked and snarled to life with last year’s “Full Moon (Death Classic),” a debut single that grasped the dayglo backpackers by their meaty cheeks and spewed venom all over their dopest ironic tees. Stefan Burnett, Zach Hill, and Andy Morin instantly capitalized on their initial outburst with both a well-oiled publicity campaign and a debut LP — April’s Exmilitary that blew most of us sideways and confirmed that hip-hop had stepped back another few paces from ringing that heavy death knell. Exmilitary was so good and so genuinely bonkers it wound up on countless best of 2011 lists and allowed for the trio to emerge with one of the more important debuts of last year and as one of the better live acts currently gracing your local watering hole.

Now news comes that Death Grips has inked a sweet deal with Columbia/Epic to release two new LPs in 2012. The Money Store is due April 24 and will include the songs “Blackjack” (see below) and “Get Got.” No Love is due later this fall. The video for the “Get Got” single (now screening at the Chocolate Grinder) features what appears to be homemade special effects and Stefan Burnett roaming the city and performing live. The move to a major label has already divided the group’s devoted fan base (if the snide, snarky comments on YouTube for the new single are any indication) but its always interesting to see how groups react to both a little major label shoving and the almighty dollar; here’s hoping they don’t fuck it all up.

“If these walls could talk.” Okay, let me pull up a stool and lay some truth on you. Or if you have a chair, I’ll turn it around and rest my arms on its back. That phrase, the one about the talking walls, is disgusting. If the walls of your house could talk, they would yell at you about the horrific things they have seen. At the bare minimum, those walls have watched you and anyone you live with and any of your houseguests poop over and over again. Being a sentient house is to live in an endless nightmare.

But the memories! Bah, if I wanted memories, I’d listen to dreamy Sub Pop outfit Memoryhouse. All the memory, all the house, none of the icky implications. The band released their debut albumThe Slideshow Effect on Tuesday, complete with all the gauzy haze you’d expect from a group + album combo with the words “memory” and “slideshow.” Now, it’s time to create new memories. Memories can be made from anything, as long as those things happened. If you go see Memoryhouse on their tour, whether it be in North America or the UK, you’ll one day have memories of that time you saw Memoryhouse on their tour. Eventually, Memoryhouse will turn your memories into a new album and that is how the sausage is made.