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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Lining up to Access the Computer

Unfortunately, for households with only one computer and mutliple huskies, my legions of fans have had to line up for their chance to read my blog and words of wisdom. I think this is very unfair to everyhusky.

Once I am queen of the world all vacuums will be banned (yes, including d.dyson and vroomyd, and that nameless purple thing in the living room), all baths will cease, digging will be allowed everywhere, everydog will have a computer and a personal cat to assist them, or be chased if we feel like it... (except for Zeus).

We will sleep on the beds, unhindered by humans who will be forced to sleep on the floor cushions they bought us and claim to be very comfortable.

We will eat before the humans (even though we already do that here, but I hear others aren't allowed to eat until the humans eat, which is totally unfair).

Doorknobs will be replaced by dog doors, no cars are allowed (they hit too many of us) so those stupid scooter things will only be allowed, and they can pull our air conditioned carts so we can get to important places if we need to get there and its too hot to run.

Napping for everyone is mandatory, even for the humans, who will still have to work in order to buy us things, but work will now be doing good things for humans and dogkind, not typing up silling reports that nobody reads.

All humans will have to report to shelters and pick up their mandatory dogs (yes, more than one), and then they will have to spoil them. There are a lot of dogs without homes, and too many humans with too much money, so every human will have to keep at least two dogs in their house and spoil them. If a human is found to be walking or carting without a dog, they will go to a shelter and see what its like living in a cage with no air conditioning and getting your food plopped into a dirty bowl for a change. Humans just aren't allowed to be out without their dogs to make sure they aren't getting into trouble.

Since every human has to be escorted by at least one dog at all times, that means that all food places, grocery store, every business will allow dogs to go into them, pick out what they want and the human will pay for it.

I think this is only fair... once I'm Queen of the world. Suggestions, tips?

If you want to SHARE it and link to the actual blog, that's fine and dandy, but don't be downloading my stuff and uploading it anywhere, and if you want to use any of it... JUST ASK ME! Is that so hard? I even have a "Contact Me" button, can't make it any easier.... Seriously???