Posts tagged ‘South Asian’

My family migrated from East Africa, where I was born, to Toronto in the early 7O’s. It was a difficult time for visible minorities. Canada was not yet multi racial in any way and there was a lot of racism. I grew up in a violent, inner-city neighbourhood, which was challenging.

How did you come out?

I came out in degrees at first. To my brother and close friends initially. But then my parents found out and it all got fast tracked. They were horrified and tried to convince me to ‘change.’ But now, after many years of working at it (on both sides), they are supportive and accepting.

What has been your inspiration in life?

Other artists have inspired me. The work of pioneering South Asian queer artists like Pratibha Parmar and Sunil Gupta. Toronto artist-activists like Richard Fung, John Greyson and Dionne Brand used their work about queer politics (amongst other issues) to form public queer identities and then forge communities –I was lucky enough to be part of those communities. Feeling part of a community, even a movement, was vital for me in coming out and accepting my sexuality, and making peace with being South Asian and gay.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

Relationships: my supportive and accepting relationship with my parents; and my 22 year old relationship with my partner Peter Ride.

What is your message to the world?

To paraphrase Emma Goldman, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of this revolution.” Finding—even creating—pleasures and joy, even in struggle, has saved me again and again.

Ian Iqbal Rashid is an award winning Canadian poet, script-writer and filmmaker based in London, England. He founded Desh Pardesh in Toronto in the early 90’s. For more information on Ian check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Iqbal_Rashid

I was born and raised in Manila, Philippines to a Sikh family. Growing up, I often asked myself What is love? What is sex? What is abuse? I did not fit in into societal norm that media tries to convey. I always knew I was gay, but I had to suppress it because it is not accepted in the hetero-mainstream society. Overcoming bullying as a child, sexually abused by a family member, introduced to sex in my childhood years, and confusion on the concept of religion, at home (Sikhism) and at school (Catholic) was also part of my growing up. I had to define religion myself along the way in that everybody is treated with respect and equality,

How did you come out? What does that mean to you?

I came out to my parents who were visiting me in Canada at that time and my parents tried to push the marriage thing on me in order to get permanent residence as fast and efficient as possible. After I came out, statements from my parent’s were like “This is abnormal, you need a psychiatrist,” ” why are you choosing this path?”, “That’s a sin in the eyes of Guru Nanak,” “Medicine will cure you,” Until today, I’m 24. They are still silent on this topic and don’t want to discuss it. That’s fine with me, I have to live my life without regrets. Coming out to me means freedom from the lies of media, coming out means to be proud as a person and create my own path by loving myself and fully understand the depth of life and my existence in this world.

What has been your inspiration in life?

My inspiration in life is the pain, struggle, and growth that I endured in my life. I am a spiritual person and always connected to God and the universe whether its sadness or happiness. I am inspired by myself and the experiences of other queer South Asians. The fight for existence, the fight for immigrant status in Canada, fight for being queer South Asian, and fight for independence is very inspiring for me and for others. Our life is not limited to one thought or one view what media tells us to believe. We just expect that we have to accept and love ourselves in order to attain full happiness and be able to love and appreciate others.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

The greatest achievement is to love myself and to love God, universe, and higher power. To achieve permanent resident status in Canada despite being taken advantage of in the workplace. The perseverance and patience that I have achieved through conflicts and struggles in life. The love and support that I achieved from friends and acquaintances.

What is your message to the world?

I would like to share to the world that always do what you love most and appreciate your life as a wonderful journey. There will be obstacles, but we just have to deal with it along the way and challenge ourselves so that we can strive and succeed in this world.

Everyone should identify what they are good at, not just blindly following others. Be unique and awesome and try to make a difference in the world. Hard work will pay off in the end.

You’ve got one life and mind as well … make the most of it and bring Change and Empowerment to the world.

Jaspreet Singh Chahal is a gay activist and Sikh immigrant based in Surrey, B.C. He is proud to officially become a permanent resident after seven and a half years of living in Canada. Jaspreet is currently employed as a sales representative.

I was born and raised on the beautiful island of Fiji, tradition territory of the Polynesian and Melanesian people. My ancestors were brought from India as exploited indentured labourers to work on sugar plantations established by the British colonial government. When Fiji gained independence in 1970, a controversial and racially divisive constitution was created followed by violent military coups that continues today in the subjugation of Fijians born from Indian ancestry. I was born in 1979 in a racially tense environment. While I questioned my sexuality at an early age, my racial identity took precedence. My extended family moved to Canada in the early 80’s and my family fled Fiji in the late 80’s to Vancouver which is the traditional territory of the Coast Salish People. This became our new home. Here, my knowledge of colonization and its effect grew and I found amazing friends who supported my passion for justice and together we found love and light.

How did you come out?

I knew I was different when I was 10, I came out to myself when I was 13, but didn’t come out to my family and friends until I was 15; those 2 years in-between were among the loneliest. I came out to my family because everyone in school already knew and I wanted my family to hear it from me directly. There was a lot of confusion and tears, not to mention the fear of what extended family members would say or think. My family came to Canada for a better life and I felt that pressure and obligation. I started a gay/straight alliance in my high school because I was sick of hearing all the hatred while some teachers and adults turned a blind eye. The GSA was the first such group in any high school in BC and partly because of the colour of my skin, it became a juicy news story for the media. My extended family learned of my sexuality through the news on TV. Half of my extended family disapproved, falsely blaming my family/mother for raising me this way and the other half understood who I was. Through many difficult conversations over the years, my family has now become incredibly close and I couldn’t ask for a more supportive family.

What has been your inspiration in life?

I am inspired by people and their courageous stories of struggle in challenging systemic forms of oppression personally and politically; speaking up and speaking truth to power without taking power from anyone. The love and understanding provided by my mother is a constant inspiration in my life. Being surrounded by friends who do so much good in our world keeps me on my toes! My husband of 14 years. Sometimes when we are with family, my husband, who is white, says something or does something that shakes our cultural norm and that helps me question all the ‘norms’ we’ve built into society; what was once not talked about, is now open for discussion.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

To question tradition without losing history, to adapt without losing integrity, to live my values without being swayed by populist ideals, being surrounded by loving friends and family, to be constantly learning on ways of doing all of this better.

What is your message to the world?

If we spoke up when we witnessed injustice, if we challenged ourselves to practice what we preached, if we treated each other equitably and with dignity, if we were to unleash our creativity to its maximum, just imagine the world we would have created for each other.

Romi Chandra Herbert is a social justice activist, facilitator and educator helping to build inclusive communities around the world.

I grew up in an affluent Sikh household with parents who valued social status and “what would people say” more than anything else. My actions or inactions would either add or delete from the family standing in society. I always questioned the status quo, especially the treatment of girls and women, which soon made my parents view me as the troublemaker and as someone that needed more controlling. I felt I never belonged in India and often felt infuriated by the treatment of women, yet helpless to be able to make a change. I often felt alone in questioning the world around me as everyone else seemed blind to what I was seeing and feeling. Everything in my being made sense when I immigrated to Canada at 13. All of a sudden I found myself in a world where it was ok to be an individual and express myself.

How did you come out?

I was 18 when I came out to myself. I never questioned it. It was like, huh…..this feels absolutely right. So right that there is nothing to question about it. I lost a couple of friends, but I never seemed to struggle with it. I had some deeper sense within me that knew that nothing could be done to change this and everything was ok as it was. My struggle came with my parents for 10 years who refused to believe I was gay. They thought it was a phase and that it would change. When it didn’t, they resorted to persistent unkind words at which point I made the hard decision to cut ties with them. Their shame of me and my life was not my burden and I choose not to be defined by their shame. While I was waiting to be unconditionally loved and accepted by my parents, my life was passing by. I looked around and realised that I already had love and unconditional acceptance in my life. It came from my partner, friends and extended community so I decided to cherish and enjoy what I had and leave behind what I couldn’t change. Life has a way of surprising you. My brother recently reached out and it’s been great to slowly build a mutually respectful and accepting relationship with him. My door is open to my parents as well. Whenever they are ready to be proud of me and come to terms with my life. I am not waiting for them and fully at peace with things as they are.

What has been your inspiration in life?

Many things inspire me. The courage to experience this life on your own terms, audacity to think big and think differently and even the tree outside my window that sheds its leaves when it is time to let go and has no problem with change. The desire within each of our beings to always search for its wholeness and peace amazes me. The impermanence of life inspires me to fully be in each moment good, bad or indifferent.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

Moving through this world as my truest self, proud and having created a life with my partner, friends and community that nourishes me and our community. I absolutely love my work. I get to create events and inclusive spaces that foster a sense of community, acceptance, pride and fun for all members of our community. It amazes me that all I had to go by was a niggling little feeling in my gut even as a child that pushed me to question the status quo and it wouldn’t let go until it created exactly what it was seeking.

What is your message to the world?

We have one precious life to live, be proud of who you are. You are perfect just as you are. Reach out for help and surround yourself with people that cherish and nourish you AND never forget to have fun!

Mandy Randhawa is the Event Producer at Flygirl Productions, one of North America’s leading lesbian event organizers. For Mandy, who grew up in an environment steeped in intolerance, creating exquisite opportunities for the queer community to experience wholeness and celebration is a way of sharing with others the influences that helped her through the hardest times – joy, spontaneity, and shaking up the dance floor. For more information check out:www.flygirlproductions.com

I was born and raised an Algonquin Territory on Turtle Island, also known as Ottawa, Canada. I had a middle class model minority immigrant upbringing in a household that was culturally Hindu in the 80’s & 90’s. I was surrounded by many people’s from around the world, but we were all considered minorities to a predominant White Canadian culture. I always had a feeling of being an outsider as I didn’t feel at ease within the “normal” of being a girl, “normal” of White culture, “normal” of “middle class South Asian” culture, “normal” in ways of loving I saw around me.

How did you come out?

Coming out happens everyday. But looking back I came out to myself around the age of 10 or 11, but because of internalized homophobia and not having other Queer South Asians around I had a good decade of confusion, shame, and guilt. I also felt a lot of guilt about sexualizing other women in a way that I had been sexualized in traumatic ways as if I was replicating “the male gaze”. As I started to recognize this wasn’t the case, I came to love this core of my being totally connected to my spirituality and emerged into my being as a Queer Polyamourous Fluid Femme (cuz my gender isn’t fixed either!)!!

I came out to my parents in my late twenties. There were some years of seeming acceptance, but they continually waver in their struggle to accept my being.

My extended family knows- many say they just want me to be happy and that feels so good. Others ignore it when it’s brought up. And there are others who don’t know or at least pretend that they don’t.

Some of the South Asian Community I grew up with knows and some don’t. There’s a lot of gossip, but I pulled away in my late teens as I didn’t vibe with that and I felt I wouldn’t be accepted. Based on some reactions from folks I have come out to, I think many would accept now. I hope.

What has been your inspiration in life?

I’m really inspired by the amazing Queer and Trans People of Colour I have met across Turtle Island (Canada & USA), and India who courageously make art, community, chosen family, and who live beyond the constraints and constructs of society. Coming out is not for everyone though, as some folks might face real danger in doing so, however by building with each other we can make spaces to hold each other in our wholeness.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

Achievement and goals are funny things. Ultimately, the times I feel at greatest achievement is when I’m at ease and joy through acceptance of where I’m at in my journey. I feel the process of learning more about Yogic & Vedic practice and medicines, as well as making and sharing theatre and music have offered my being much healing, allowing me to enter into a state of wholeness. Being able to share the same with others’ at this point in my journey is so satisfying.

What is your message to the world?

My life’s work is dedicated to deconstructing colonial boundaries between art, traditional medicines, spirituality, and politics. To create and offer spaces that allow our communities to flourish beyond the trauma our systems have and continue to create.

Being queer asks me to move through the world with courage and the strength of vulnerability that allows journeying beyond the constraints of normalized ways of existing in our world that often fragment and disconnect ourselves from our own beings and each other.

Living this truth is honouring and reclaiming ways of being that were diminished through colonization.

It is rooting in deep spirituality and ancestral wisdom while cultivating a unique balance of “masculine” and “feminine” cosmic energies. It is having fluidity and flow in my gender and redefining how love is shared and expressed.

We have existed for Millennium.

For me being Queer is being in Purna/ Wholeness.

nisha ahuja is a theatre artist, actor, movement-based theatre creator, singer and writer who has created and performed across Canada, The Netherlands, and India. she also shared Yogic medicine and Attmic energy healing. Learn more about nisha at www.nishaahuja.com

I grew up on Coast Salish Land that belongs to the Musqueam, Sḵwx̱wúmesh- Squaimish and Tsleil-Waututh peoples aka Vancouver. I grew up poor and lived in B.C housing with predominantly my mother and my sister. I grew up in a Hindu and Catholic home that perpetuated a lot patriarchal, sexist and heteronormaitve ideals. I didn’t recognize or come into my queerness until my later teen years. I carried a lot of internalized homophobia.

How did you come out? What does that mean to you?

I came out to myself when I was about 18/19; I really started to question my sexuality. I came out to my mother when I was 22/23 in a conversation in our kitchen where she asked me if I was a lesbian, at the moment I said yes, I figured it wasn’t the time to get into what Queer meant.

A lot of my extended family does not live in the same city/country so I have been slowly been able to come out to people that I feel safe with. There are many people in my family that don’t know I am queer.

What has been your inspiration in life?

My mother has become a source of my inspiration. She has worked so hard her whole life and continues to work hard. She has endured a lot as an immigrant, brown women and she has such an empathetic heart.

QTIPOC (Queer, Trans*, Indigenous, People of Colour) are a constant source of inspiration for me and specifically my fellow poor QTIPOC folks. The ways we fight to be seen and heard, the ways we shine and share our truths, and the ways in which we create from, work though, and heal from trauma together.

Meeting other Queer and gender non-conforming South Asian folks who are doing such powerful important work this past July at Desi Q was a huge source of inspiration for me.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

This past few years I feel very proud that I have made (and sold!) art that has been in my heart for a long time. I have started making greeting cards (Queer, solstice, Diwali etc.) and radical posters that celebrate: Queer and Trans* folks of colour, brown women and other groups that don’t get celebrated and recognized enough.

This past year I started a performance group with a friend of mine Zain called: Desi Femme Power. We are a spoken word, singing, glittery duo that touch on many topics including: inter-generational trauma & survival, racism, transphobia, homophobia, healing, love, strength and poverty.

What is your message to the world?

Surround yourself with people that love you and that can see your worth. I have learned that it has been the people I’ve choose to have in my life that have helped me see that I can really achieve anything I want. Finding and connecting with communities I feel good in have helped me and continue to help me be the powerful femme that I am. Growing up in poverty affects so much of us; the effects of systemic poverty are real and I feel you. I am constantly fighting and raising my voice to have my narratives be heard. You are powerful! You are strong! You are beautiful. Don’t believe the lies that main stream societies feeds us. Write your own stories, create your own art, carve your own paths in the ways that make sense and feel good to you.

Jotika is a multidisciplinary artist and activist who is a fierce, brown femme. She creates art to heal, learn, inspire, listen, observe, fight and dream. Her art is a piece of her activism; she makes visual art as well as writes and sings. She is working on her Bachelor of Social Work. She is a queer, poor, South Asian women whose roots are in Northern India and Fiji. She was born and raised as a settler on land that was stolen from the xʷməθkʷəy̓ə – Musqueam, Sḵwx̱wú7mesh – Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh peoples.

I was born and raised in Burnaby BC. The youngest of three children, and the only boy in an Indian, Christian family, my position within the family would prove to be fraught with great expectations. My father is from Fiji and my mother is from Trinidad. Both of Indian descent, they moved to Canada in the late 60’s. My father is a minister in the Christian Pentecostal Church and my mother worked in a hospital in Vancouver for 35 years.

The church and Christian faith were the focus and backbone of my immediate family and most of my extended family. I loved going to church and participating in all the musical and artistic aspects of the service. It was in church that I developed a love for theology. At home, with the influence of my parents, I found a life-long relationship with God.

How did you come out?

I think that everyone born in this world goes through some sort of coming out process. I believe it is a great, grand journey that we are all consistently traveling and exploring.

My specific intentional act of coming out to my family as a gay Christian man was revealed in a 7 page letter I wrote at the age of 26. I admitted to my parent’s that I was gay when I was 19 and they sent me for counselling for about 2 years, which proved to be the best gift they could have given to me. I then had the courage to come out to my parents and sisters through the letter which ended with an invitation to meet and discuss the letter’s contents.

What has been your inspiration in life?

As a singer I find musical expression to be a great inspiration in my life. I’m sure that many people are moved by music as I am because it transcends all kinds of borders and finds a way into the heart like nothing else can. All forms of art have this potential, and a quote that my boyfriend Adam shared with me, always inspires me: The opposite of war is not peace, it’s creation – J Larson. I think this is a great motto for every community, including the gay community.

I am also truly inspired by the United Church of Canada. I attend St. Andrews-Wesley United Church in downtown Vancouver. I am humbled by the liberal and progressive interpretation of the Bible, which for me, catches the essence of Christianity. I love the inclusion of all peoples and the very strong social justice arm of the church both locally and internationally.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

Working as a professional singer, teacher and composer is quite an amazing accomplishment for me. In a world where arts funding is dismal, the ability to create and add to the musical community in Vancouver is a great honour for me.

I am so proud of myself for learning to love myself, just the way I am. With the shadows of oppressive views, be they of South East Asian origin or Christian origin, I am proud of the personal work I have done to really understand myself and have compassion for those around me.

More recently, I am so proud to have found the love of my life and to have him further push me to be proud of who we are. I am so proud of my parents and other family members of older generations who have started their own coming out process as parents and family of homosexual children. It is not an easy journey for them, rather it has been quite devastating, but the mountain has crumbled and the rebuilding process is beginning.

What is your message to the world?

One of my all-time favourite singer-songwriters, Amy Grant, said It’s better to be kind, than right. That sentence has resonated with me for so long and I really think that wisdom and compassion join hands in that quote.

As a man who hopes for a world where equality for all is simply the way life works, I believe that it begins with compassion for all, and the wisdom to know how to deal graciously with each other.

Proverbs 1:20 says Wisdom is crying out in the street; her voice is loud in the open places and Hebrews 5:2 says, He can deal gently with the ignorant and misguided, since he himself also is beset with weakness. I hope to always strive for a balance of wisdom and compassion and apply that to all parts of my life. Hopefully that is the intersection that I live my life from, abounding from love.

I grew up in a small town in Texas which was overwhelmingly white and conservative. I thought that all queer people were white and never thought I could be a queer South Asian. It would be easy for me to dwell on how hard it was to experience racism, gender policing, and religion shaming in a post 9-11 climate, but I think in comparison to many I had it quite well. My family’s caste, religious, and class privilege meant that the brunt of oppression I faced was psychological. Fortunately, I grew up in a family of Indian leftists who taught me early on how to be critical of power and the importance of sharing our politics.

How did you come out?

I don’t really identify with the traditional ‘coming out’ narrative. My family and community always knew that I was ‘queer’ before I had the language (in English) to express it. I used to belly dance at all of the Indian dinner parties, only wear my sister’s clothing, and hang out with all of the girls. There was always a space for me in my community to be queer and that quiet acceptance is something that I hold dear. When I did decide to use words to express myself my family was gracious and accepting. My dad even said, “Finally!”

What has been your inspiration in life?

My inspiration in life have been the radical activists of color from Sylvia Rivera to the members of the Ghadar Party to the Black Panthers who resisted capitalism, colonialism, and patriarchy before me in order to pave the way for my generation. I am indebted to the tireless struggle of our ancestors who resisted white supremacy, to our mothers who continue to resist violence, and to our comrades who continue to resist US sponsored state terrorism and islamaphobia. Activism gives me a reservoir of hope and a conviction to fight back and make the world a better place.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

My greatest achievement has involved rejecting the middle class model minority Hindu fundamentalist upbringing my community raised me with which means that I refuse to be silent. I am building a life that is about measuring my worth by my resistance and not by how much money I make. In that struggle I have made some of the most brilliant friends and comrades. Through my role as a poet with DarkMatter (darkmatterrage.com) and an activist with the Audre Lorde Project (alp.org) I have been able to help radicalize and mobilize other (queer) people of color to get involved with the resistance.

What is your message to the world?

It’s not going to “get better” unless we fight like hell to make it better. We have to unlearn all the lies we grew up with that our families, schools, and governments taught us about ‘change’ and ‘progress.’ We have to refuse to apologize for our identities, wants, desires, and dreams. Nothing in this world will change unless we rise up against injustice. It’s not enough to fight for ‘equality’ for ourselves: ‘gay rights’ will mean nothing for the majority of us. We have to fight in solidarity with all oppressed peoples and that includes resisting the co-optation of our identities and struggles by the Western world in service of their imperialist agendas.

I was born in Kent, England into a Sikh Punjabi Family. My parents separated shortly after their arrival in Canada. I was raised by my mother. My mother was very spiritual, non-judgemental, and accepting about my differences and diversity including my sexuality. My father still to this day has a hard time accepting my gayness, especially me being out and proud about it.

How did you come out?

I was not happy being gay in my teens. I secretly went to see a child psychiatrist hoping to become straight. Not surprisingly, this did not work. The psychiatrist helped me accept myself and come out. When I graduated from high school their was no internet and I had no cell phones and I didn’t know anyone who was gay. I felt alienated, isolated, lonely, and depressed often. I began to meet queer people at college and university and started to feel good about myself, especially when I discovered that people like Alexander the Great and Michelangelo were gay and/or bisexual.

What has been your inspiration in life?

My inspiration is the Creator and my mother. I am very spiritual and feel God would not have created gay people if he wanted them to suffer. I feel it is the duty of all people to help the marginalized, oppressed, and vulnerable and this includes gays and lesbians.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

I am proud of launching the DOSTI project which is an anti-bullying, racism, and homophobia workshop as well as founding Sher Vancouver and creating a community of people where queer South Asians and their allies can connect, meet, find support, and not feel alone. I am also proud of my third book Catalyst and the Dignity House project that I helped initiate. Dignity House is a proposal to develop affordable housing for gay and lesbian seniors in Vancouver. I am also excited about the Sher Vancouver Out and Proud Project because I feel it is an opportunity to create public awareness and educate the mainstream public about the issues queer South Asians face and the great things they accomplish everyday, everywhere around the world.

What is your message to the world?

My message to the world is learn to love yourself and the rest will take care of itself. Be proud, be free, and the direction your life will take will be limitless.

Alex Sangha is an award winning social worker, author, and human rights activist based in Surrey, B.C. For more information on Alex check out his website http://alexsangha.com. Check out Alex Sangha on Culture Vulture to discuss his social discussion book Catalyst (4 minutes). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKBvXWG9PVU

Growing up in white Edmonton as a brown gender queer kid was isolating. I was constantly reinforced that there was something abnormal about me.

How did you come out?

My experience of queerness hasn’t allowed for a definitive coming out moment. I have had to perpetually come out – to my friends, family, and co-workers. My shifting understanding of my own identities has involved perpetually coming out to myself – as bisexual, gay, queer, and a queer person of colour.

What has been your inspiration in life?

I am inspired by people who are passionate, who are devoted to working on being their best selves, who aren’t afraid of taking risks, who are able to seek out and experience joy. I am inspired by my mother, Beyoncé and queer & trans youth of colour.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

My greatest achievement has been my perseverance as a human and as an artist. Everyday I have lived past 16 years old, and have dreamed of another day, feels like an accomplishment. Every art project I have made feels like a success, despite my own insecurities and an innate understanding of my limitations, despite not being formally trained in the arts, despite being told that I can’t be successful as a brown musician in Canada, despite being continually rejected by funding bodies.

I have dedicated most of my adult life trying to create and provide the kinds of resources and supports I didn’t have growing up, so I feel especially moved when a queer youth connects to my work.