The diver, truly awful in her technique and spectacularly clueless, raised eyebrows when she insisted on bringing her two stuffed panda bears on the dive boat.

The topic of our discussion was crazy things we’d witnessed in scuba diving.

Theo from Austin, Texas told the story of a woman who sucked her air tank dry because “she had paid for it and wanted to get every penny’s worth. And besides, if she got into trouble she’d just suck air from another diver’s tank”. (Divers are supposed to surface with about 15 percent of their air left.)

She also deliberately spun a turtle, and, on her way home, shouted to her friends about a bomb in her luggage while in the airport. A candidate for locking up or the morgue, for sure!