Expat wanderer

Please circulate the following message without additions or omissions
immediately to all U.S. citizens within your area of responsibility.

According to the Kuwait Ministry of the Interior, public gatherings may take
place starting March 17 and continuing throughout the Kuwaiti weekend (Friday
and Saturday), at the Bahraini Embassy in Surra – Block 5, Surra Street 1, House
2. The Regional Security Office reminds all personnel and family members to
remain vigilant and aware of your surroundings, avoid large crowds and practice
personal security awareness.

Spontaneous and/or planned demonstrations take place in Kuwait from time to time
in response to world events or local developments. We remind U.S. citizens
that even demonstrations intended to be peaceful can turn confrontational and
possibly escalate into violence. U.S. citizens are therefore urged to avoid the
areas of demonstrations if possible, and to exercise caution if within the
vicinity of any demonstrations. U.S. citizens should review their personal
plans, stay current with media coverage of local events, and be aware of their
surroundings at all times.

For the latest security information, U.S. citizens living and traveling abroad
should regularly monitor the Department of State’s Bureau of Consular Affairs
Internet website, where the current Worldwide Caution, Travel Warnings, Travel
Alerts, as well as the Country Specific Information for Kuwait can be found.
Up-to-date information on security can also be obtained by calling
1-888-407-4747 toll-free in the United States and Canada or, for callers outside
the United States and Canada, a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444. These
numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through
Friday (except U.S. federal holidays).

If you are a U.S. citizen in need of emergency assistance in Kuwait, you may
reach the U.S. Embassy by calling +965-2259-1001 and requesting the duty
officer.

U.S. citizens living or traveling in Kuwait are encouraged to enroll in the
Department’s Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) so that they can obtain
updated information on travel and security. U.S. citizens without Internet
access may enroll directly with the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate. By
enrolling, U.S. citizens make it easier for the Embassy or Consulate to contact
them in case of emergency. For additional information, please refer to “A Safe
Trip Abroad”.

I waited and waited for the Verizon iPhone to come out, and while I waited, I met an app I loved. When we were out buying for the Salvation Army Angel program, one of my friends would read the bar code on a product and instantly, it would show where the product was also available (and how far, in miles) and would also show mail-order prices online. So if we found a bike, it would tell us where it was cheaper, and by how much. Oh! I wanted that app.

So when I got my new phone, it was one of the first apps I downloaded (after amazon.com) and it was FREE!

It is so much fun. You press the Red Laser icon, the program opens. To scan a barcode, you press the lightning bolt at the bottom of the screen, get the bar code within the block shown on your screen, and it does all the rest, seconds later you have all your comparison costs.

Wow. It is a frugal shopper’s delight.

So if you have favorite things, and you are running low, you can scan them in your own home and your phone will tell you where the best prices are. I love this app.

What I can’t figure out is how do they make money on this when they give it to you for free?

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting
and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, ‘Lord take pity
on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the
rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!’

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, ‘Never mind, I found one.’

++++++

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, ‘Do
you want to go to heaven?’

The man said, ‘I do, Father.’

The priest said, ‘Then stand over there against the wall.’

Then the priest asked the second man, ‘Do you want to go to heaven?’ ‘Certainly,
Father,’ the man replied.

‘Then stand over there against the wall,’ said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and asked, ‘Do you want to go to
heaven?’

O’Toole said, ‘No, I don’t Father.’

The priest said, ‘I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die
you don’t want to go to heaven?’

O’Toole said, ‘Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together
to go right now.’

++++++

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

‘Did you see the paper?’ asked Gallagher. ‘They say I died!!’

Yes, I saw it!’ replied Finney. ‘Where are ye callin’ from?’

+++++++

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in
Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then
sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, ‘Sir, have you been drinking?’

‘Just water,’ says the priest.

The trooper says, ‘Then why do I smell wine?’

The priest looks at the bottle and says, ‘Good Lord! He’s done it again!’

+++++++++

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy,
Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs
bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the
banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey
bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the
hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to
quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he
could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way
to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and
Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, ‘You were drunk again last night weren’t you?’

Patton said, ‘Why you say such a mean thing?’

‘Well,’ Kathleen said, ‘it could be the open front door, it could be the broken
glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing
through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ……. it’s all
those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.