There seems to be no end to the duplicitous clean livers that are hiding cirrhotic private lives and peccadillos. Now, if you ask me, no one should be all that shocked Tiger Woods prowls like a big cat. He has been known to feel a kinship and run with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley pretty much since he left Stanford for the bright lights and big city attractions of the PGA traveling circus. Tiger didn’t want to be like Mike, he already was like Mike. The “right stuff” that makes the greatest athletes stand out above the mere all stars and all pros generally comes with a healthy quotient of carnivore like killer instinct and desire.

But the discovery that a holier than thou condescending family values prairie dweeb like Max Baucus (R-Dentalflossville) is footing the shack up of his latest shag, well that is a whole nuther thing. Who knew Max chased the skirts and dental floss just like those hedonists in California? And considering the Max Tax concubine was, at least for a while, one of his staffers, there is of course some relief it was not an intern. So he has got that going for him I guess.

Before the moment that is the Passion Of Max fleets from memory though, let the proletariat he arrogantly betrays daily in his day job as an elected representative of the people, nation and the collective interest not be lost as to the real upshot. But lost it will be if left up to the puerile panty sniffers in the main stream political media. For instance those deer hunting manly men over at Politico have two stories on their front page (here and here) on the Max Tax plan to boost his squeeze with an elite appointment to a coveted US Attorney position and, yet, not one mention of the hypocrisy exhibited by the revelation as framed against the Baucus constant braying for fiscal responsibility and reticence to provide a health care bill covering women equally and fairly. Go figure.

Fool’s Gold Loaf is a sandwich made by a restaurant in Denver, Colorado called the Colorado Mine Company (often erroneously referred to as the Colorado Gold Mine Company). The sandwich consists of a single loaf of hollowed out, warmed bread filled with one jar of creamy peanut butter, one jar of grape jelly, and a pound of bacon. The name of the sandwich is derived from its price of $49.95. In later years, it was priced closer to $100 for the sandwich and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
….
On the night of February 1, 1976, Elvis Presley was at his home Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee entertaining Capt. Jerry Kennedy of the Denver Colorado police force, and Ron Pietrafeso of Colorado’s Strike Force Against Crime. The three men began discussing the sandwich and Elvis decided he wanted one right then. The Mine Company was a five-star restaurant known for its rip-roaring parties and as the ‘place’ to be seen at the time. Elvis had been to the restaurant before while in Denver. Kennedy and Pietrafeso were friends of the owners and hung out there often, so they were driven to the Memphis airport and boarded Elvis’s private jet, the Lisa Marie, and flew the two hours to Denver. When they arrived in Denver at 1:40 AM, the plane taxied to a special hangar where the passengers were greeted by the owner of the Colorado Mine Company, Buck Scott, and his wife Cindy who had brought 22 fresh Fool’s Gold Loaves for the men. They spent three hours in the hangar eating the sandwiches, washing them down with Perrier and champagne. Presley invited the pilots of the plane, Milo High and Elwood Davis, to join them. When they were done, they flew back to Memphis without ever having left the airport.

REPORTER: This suburban Atlanta mall was evacuated Wednesday night after a serious scare. Police say William Caldwell was dressed as a Christmas elf when he got in line to see the mall Santa Claus. When he finally met St. Nick, police say he delivered a disturbing message.

POLICE SPOKESMAN: “What was stated to Santa was that his bags were dynamite.”

REPORTER: The mall was cleared. Caldwell was forced to trade his elf costume for an orange jail jumpsuit. Police found no explosives but they say the bags were filled with more costumes. The 45-year-old’s neighbors say Caldwell simply liked to dress up.

NEIGHBOR: “He had a pirate suit. He had a lot of stuff.”

REPORTER: Police are not sure why Caldwell made the threat to Santa, but after interviewing him they say there might be other issues at play.

POLICE SPOKESMAN: “It was clear to us that there could be some mental issues.”

REPORTER: Caldwell is being held without bond on charges including making terroristic threats. Brad Thomas, the Associated Press.

As EW said in her main post, Baucus’ corruptly having health care “reform” bill written by a “staffer” lobbyist is what’s horrific, not that he’s as monogamous as David Vitter or Mark Sanford. That he bills the public for his mistress’, um, services is something that a competent legislature would inquire into. Hell, in England, an inquiry into questionable housing and other reimbursements for members has tied up Parliament and the front news pages for months. American “news” outlets seem more interested in whether the club that broke Tiger’s back window was a brassie or a mashie niblick, not that their airhead news readers would know the difference.

But, no doubt, the “war on Christmas” psychopaths will begin to embroider a secret Muslim sleeper cell plot around this simple mental aberration by someone who’s likely a SAD victim who’s been overcome by a screening of Glenn Beck’s “The Christmas Sweater.”

Thus ends an attempt to tie together as much Christmas craziness as possible. :)

“Concerned about increased drug use in America, he petitioned Nixon in a handwritten letter proposing he be named a “Federal Agent at Large.” Elvis wrote, “I have done an in-depth study of drug abuse and Communist brainwashing techniques and I am right in the middle of the whole thing, where I can and will do the most good.”
(complete with picture of Elvis with Nixon and discussion of the guns Elvis was allowed to carry into the White House)

I forgot the well documented facts about this meeting: that Elvis arrived at the White House without an appointment, was allowed to carry TWO guns into the White House , and to present one to President Nixon. FBI later authorized a 50 state carry permit for Elvis.

Nothing quite like the dumbass look some people get on their faces when they find out you’re from Montana and have to ask, “did you grow dental floss?” That question certainly stops conversation. Forever.

What I have been wondering about for a while is why Conrad Burns is not in jail and why Bill Mercer is still US Attorney for Montana.

Thanks for the Frank Zappa video; it led to the CNN CrossFire video of Zappa scorching John Lofton on censorship and emerging theocratic fascism. Zappa was beautiful. Baucus is a dental floss tycoon. We need folk with the acuity of Frank Zappa, a genuine conservative.