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There was a beautiful woman on my train today. She was so beautiful that I felt compelled to speak to her.

"Excuse me." I said "I'm sorry to bother you, but would it be at all possible for me to have sex with you? It's just that you're very beautiful and I haven't had sex in a very long time." I could see that I'd caught her offguard.

"Oh... um... How long do you think it would take?"

"Well, as I said, you're very beautiful and I haven't had sex in a long time, so maybe ten, twenty seconds."

"I guess I could do that." she said "Would you like to go for a drink first?"