Submitting Your Annual Report

This Rosh Hashana, celebrate your spiritual accomplishments.

The latest issue of my Brandeis alumni magazine devoted two thirds of a page to the success of one graduate of the Class of '87. Her stunning achievement? She is Hollywood's only female sword-master and has become director of theatrical combat at the Beverly Hills Fencers' Club.

How does the magazine editor decide which graduate's career is worthy of highlighting? What criteria of success qualify to make one's alma mater proud? Wealth? Fame? Contribution to society? Uniqueness of profession?

The alumni themselves are invited to write in to describe their own recent accomplishments. This latest issue, for example, lists these truly noteworthy and hard-won accomplishments:

A.L., class of '91, received her doctor of veterinary medicine degree from Washington State University

J.H., class of '76, was named 2005 Psychologist of the Year by the Florida Psychological Association.

K.P., class of '73, was appointed executive vice president for strategy and ministry development at Catholic Health East.

A.S., class of '82, published a book, Mac Design Out of the Box.

Reading of my fellow alumni's various achievements, I wondered what a spiritual version of the magazine would look like. After all, a person can be justly proud of getting a degree, a promotion, or an award, but are spiritual achievements any less important? If B.G. is feted because he got a promotion up the corporate ladder, shouldn't he be feted for becoming a kinder person this year? If N.H. is congratulated for getting a post-doc degree, shouldn't she be congratulated that she stopped yelling at her kids?

From a Jewish standpoint, the measuring rod of significance in life is a spiritual barometer.

According to Judaism, the measuring rod of significance in life is a spiritual barometer. Thus, when N.H. gets that post-doc degree, from a Jewish standpoint she deserves congratulations because she exhibited the qualities of industriousness and perseverance to earn the degree. And if these qualities did not come naturally to her, she deserves even more accolades.

Contrary to popular perception, wealth, fame, and success are gifts from God, Who endows people with talent, intelligence, and specific aptitudes.

My book Holy Woman, which was published in May, just went into its fourth printing. Recently someone asked me, "You must be really proud to have written a bestselling book."

I replied, "Not really. Most of the ingredients of the bestseller -- my writing talent, my becoming acquainted such an amazing woman to write about, my access to the right people to interview [three of whom died a few months after the interview] -- all that came from God. My response is less pride than gratitude. But when I exercise enough self-discipline to get to bed on time, then I feel really proud."

THE YEARLY ISSUE

My alumni magazine comes out four times a year. Its spiritual counterpart, which really does exist, has only one issue per year: the Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur issue. This is the time for all of us to reflect on and assess our spiritual accomplishments and failures. This is the time for our annual report.

While my alumni magazine prints only those reports submitted by proud alumni, its spiritual counterpart features a report by every one of us without exception. As the High Holy Day liturgy puts it: "The signature of every person's hand is in it."

And if, as Rosh Hashana draws near, we realize to our chagrin that we have few spiritual achievements to report, it's still not too late. The ten days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, called "The Ten Days of Repentance," are an ideal time to score some spiritual goals. The deadline for submissions to our spiritual alum magazine is Yom Kippur.

PROGRESS REPORT

From an alumni magazine, we can learn two important spiritual lessons. The first is: Idealize upward movement.

alumni generally report new jobs, promotions, recently awarded distinctions, etc. Similarly, in our spiritual lives we should strive to constantly reach new levels. V.N. would be embarrassed to report: "I'm working at the same mid-level job I've had for the last 15 years." So why shouldn't V.N. be embarrassed to admit, "The same things that ticked me off 15 years ago still make me ballistic"?

J.H. would be loathe to submit for the 2006 issue, "I was named the 1995 Psychologist of the Year by the Florida Psychological Association." Yet how often when we search for our spiritual accomplishments do we revert to, "I started eating kosher 11 years ago." When we stand before God on the High Holy Days, God wants to hear about how we grew, changed, and progressed this year.

The key word here is "progressed." Spiritual achievement means that you're better in a particular character trait or mitzvah than you were last year. "More of the same" doesn't cut it.

God is interested only in progress reports.

So, if you are by nature and habit generous, reporting, "I gave $10,000 to Yad Eliezer for food distribution in Northern Israeli bomb shelters during the recent war," may not be at all impressive, because God is interested only in progress reports.

Let's say, on the other hand, you are by nature tight-fisted, never give to charity, and always throw out all your junk mail charity solicitations without even opening them. One day this August on your way between your mailbox and the trash basket, you noticed that one envelope was from Yad Eliezer and emblazoned on it were the words, "HELP ISRAEL'S NORTHERN RESIDENTS." You opened the envelope, read the appeal, and battled with yourself about whether to donate money. Finally, you decided to help, and wrote a check for $25. That's a spiritual victory!

Here's where the spiritual sword master comes in. All spiritual progress is a victory of one's higher inclinations (the soul) over one's lower inclinations (called the yetzer hara). Where there is no duel between these two rivals, there is no victory. Doing what comes naturally or what you do habitually is not a spiritual achievement. It doesn't qualify for the spiritual alum magazine.

That's why I feel prouder about getting to bed on time (in order not to be cranky the next day) than about writing a bestselling book. Writing comes easily to me. There's no battle involved, and therefore no victory. Getting to bed early enough to get a good night's sleep (a key to spiritual success), however, is a nightly fencing match with my yetzer hara. In collusion with my addiction to "getting one more thing done," it seduces me with temptations such as, "Just unload the dishwasher, so you can wake up to a clean sink." When I exercise enough self discipline to overcome its blandishments, I achieve a hard-won victory. I have to keep my sword to the yetzer's throat until the moment I turn out the light.

VALIDATING VICTORY

The second profound lesson we can learn from an alumni magazine is: Validate every accomplishment.

One of the greatest detriments to spiritual growth is our minimizing of our spiritual victories. K.W. is proud to report that she got her M.D. from Middlesex School of Medicine. So what that it wasn't Harvard Med! Yet most of us downplay our spiritual accomplishments: "So, I didn't yell at the kids this time, but I yelled at them twice yesterday." "So I let someone into the supermarket line ahead of me, even though I was also pressed for time. What's the big deal?"

We know that the best way to educate our children is with positive reinforcement. If we want our child to sit still when eating, we have to reinforce every three minutes she sits still, heaping on her attention and praise. Why, then, are we so remiss with reinforcing our own desirable behaviors?

There is no such thing as an insignificant spiritual victory.

When we face off with our yetzer hara, we have to be the home team. When a home team football player scores five yards, the fans cheer wildly. They don't pooh-pooh it, saying, "It was only five yards. It wasn't a touchdown." The more we cheer for our spiritual victories, the more victories we'll score.

Your mother pushed your button and you didn't snap back at her? Hurray! Bring out the band! Your co-worker at the water cooler started to gossip, and you changed the subject? Bravo! Give yourself a mental bouquet of roses!

These feats deserve at least as much recognition as becoming the first female sword-master in Hollywood.

As Rosh Hashana approaches, sit down and make a list of all the ways you've grown and improved this year. Don't consider any accomplishment too small. Then resolve to make new strides in the new year -- not giant leaps, but small, consistent steps.

There is no such thing as an insignificant spiritual victory. Emblazon that motto on your desk and start cheering!

Sara Yoheved Rigler’s all-encompassing online marriage program, “Choose Connection: How to Revive and Rejuvenate Your Marriage” is available to Aish.com readers at a special price. Click here for more info: http://www.jewishworkshops.com/webinars/connection/

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Sara Yoheved Rigler is a popular international lecturer on subjects of Jewish spirituality. She has given lectures and workshops in Israel, England, France, South Africa, Mexico, Canada, Chile, Panama, and over 35 American cities. She is one of the most popular authors on Aish.com, world’s biggest Judaism website, and is a columnist for Ami Magazine. Sara Yoheved Rigler is the author of five best-sellers: Holy Woman; Lights from Jerusalem; Battle Plans: How to Fight the Yetzer Hara (with Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller); G-d Winked; and Heavenprints . She gives a weekly Marriage Webinar for Jewish Workshops on a spiritual approach to marriage, with hundreds of members throughout the world. She lives in the Old City of Jerusalem. Her newest book, Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup, the story of Henny Machlis, the Brooklyn-born girl who became a Jerusalem legend, was was released in November, 2016. Her website is: sararigler.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 26

(26)
Zahavah,
September 22, 2014 4:47 PM

A Wonderfully Inspiring Article

There are many people who accomplish great feats. A Mom who does so much each day and manages to do it with a smile. (Also a Mom who manages to do much without yelling)A quiet co-worker who gets little recognition who rarely or never gossips or shares unhappiness. A smiling neighbor who walks his dog who always has a kind , understanding word for a shy child. The man who bags groceries who always remembers your name. The small things add up as much as the big things that somehow always get noticed.And what about those among the tribe who have overcome hardships of many kinds and have come out victors by never giving up and just pushing on. We will never know the stories these people have to share. Maybe Aish should publish something like this. They have my email if they want to use it. I'd be so honored to hear from them.

(25)
Anonymous,
September 2, 2014 12:07 PM

Who Gets Awarded?

I have yet to hear of a synagogue or Jewish organization that gives anybody recognition or awards to everyday normal people for speaking nicely to their kids or being a mensch on the road or being thoughtful to their spouses. Those who get honored either raised a lot of money or did a lot of work for the organization, or have wealthy friends that the organization wants to tap when they honor the honoree. So I'm sure you're right that God looks for the private acts of spiritual greatness, but Jewish organizations, alas, honor the big shots.

(24)
Rachel,
September 2, 2014 1:49 AM

Newsworthy is supposed to be interesting

It wouldn't make very interesting reading to read about classmates who lovingly gave their children breakfast and then kissed them goodbye when they went to school. The world is full of all sorts of good and kind deeds done every day by millions of people, who aren't looking for awards, articles or any other special notice outside their families and friends. So I wouldn't expect an alumni journal to sing the praises of some relatively unknown alumna who was as good and kind as one of her classmates. I don't need or want journals to extol motherhood; I expect them to talk about more unusual people and events. And if they have any practical advice (recipes, health, investing, buying a car, etc), that's good, too!Also, I think that fame and professional success are related to the effort that most people put into their work, not just a matter of wining God's lottery. Meryl Streep was blessed by God in many ways but she also certainly has worked at her craft. I know people who are brilliant and have no accomplishments because they haven't done the work.This article frankly annoyed me. If the author is as modest as she claims why doesn't she publish her books and blogs anonymously? I didn't go to Brandeis, either - usually the schools with the bragging rights behave shamefully, as Brandeis did when it dis-invited Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

(23)
Frida,
August 31, 2014 6:48 PM

Thank you for forth is amazing article. Your writing is always inspiring!

(22)
Lisa,
August 31, 2014 11:38 AM

Thanks for the spiritual " wake up" call !!

Once again, a phenomenal positive Dvar Torah!!

The " mother who pushes your buttons" said it all!! That's what I'm working on.....day by day....hour by hour...minute by minute....!!

Wishing a hearty Shana Tova to you & your whole mishpacha !!

(21)
Joey,
September 24, 2011 8:06 AM

Excellent Advice

I think this advice will be helpful to me (and I can relate to the sleep thing...it's 3 AM). Thanks for writing this and God bless!

(20)
ruth housman,
September 1, 2009 4:11 AM

spiritual victories

I found this article important because it deals with what's important in life. It's not about the name in lights, it's about the light in the name. How we are towards others is what's important and the struggle to become better in this way is the climb up life's mountains.
Thank you.

(19)
Anonymous,
August 31, 2009 10:29 AM

Brandeis alumnae magazine

When I get MY Brandeis alumnae magazine, I usually look for familiar names, glimpse at the articles, and then throw it in the garbage so my kids won't see it. But this is a great analogy, and a wonderful example of elevating the mundane in our lives.

(18)
Annette,
July 26, 2007 9:22 PM

Good to know then, that I've progressed

I worked hard this past year, with specific intents of progressing... I think I did... but I don't know about that getting to bed earlier issue... but it's a key to spiritual success you say? OK then, I'll try it too, but please write an article about this! I'm sure many of us would like to learn about this topic. This was an article that delivered hope to my last year's efforts, thanks!

(17)
hopey5000,
September 24, 2006 8:04 AM

Implementing new year's promises

In the temple, our congregants make lofty promises and commitments, to charity, family, shul, and elsewhere. They are genuine yet 6 months from now, most of them will be doing the same thing. How do we change-improve, modify.

Let's take the corporate analogy. Lawrence Bossidy wrote a book Execution: The Discipling of Getting Things Done. He calls Execution "the missing link between aspirations and results. Recognize that good ideas and nice thought are not enough:

Evaluate the barriers to change. How specifically will you change. If you would like to spend 1 hour a day on Tzedakah, where will the time come from. A candid evaluation of barriers, and difficulties must be the first step.

Evaluate what other people will do, or they involved.

A general comittment without assessment of specific barriers is insufficient.

3.

(16)
Anonymous,
September 22, 2006 11:25 AM

Take a look at your life, celebrate true spiritual accomplishments that took hard work - big or small.

I am pulled towards Sara Rigler's writing. It is inspiring, motivating, and extremely pallatable. She writes in a way that appeals to my spiritual self.

(15)
YaelDavidowitz,
September 21, 2006 9:02 PM

Effective Article

Great article - I'm inspired for Rosh Hashana and to go to bed right now

(14)
ShariAncellKark,
September 21, 2006 9:07 AM

A clear cut vision to spiritual growth.

Wonderful insight on the key to spiritual growth.

(13)
nsmilowitz,
September 21, 2006 8:59 AM

I like the ananlogy

Interesting. I especially liked how you made the analogy to what is considered a "success story" in our society and then demonstrating how we can learn from it!

(12)
r,
September 20, 2006 3:07 PM

share your inspiration with your fellow alumnae!

Why not give some of the Brandeis people some challenging food for thought for the new year? Wonder what rebuttal they might come up with. I davka am a former Barnard student, and also of a modern orthodox institution. One day I got both of their magazines together: while Barnard was interviewing some of the big "success stories of '45" whether they regretted not investing more time for family, less for career. All of the respondents who were printed VERY much encouraged more of the"mommy track." Hmmmm. Then I turned to see what inspiration the other magazine might offer, besides crazy clothes and wigs. Well, they were featuring an airborne traffic reporter; a sports coach; and various and sundry, but no family pride, nor esteeming motherhood....Certainly nothing vaguely resembling spiritual attainments. Your article is thought-provoking and inspiring, and I am sure many many at Brandeis have at some level of their consciousness wished that character development etc was more esteemed (such as all the arguments about "honesty").I should have written in then -- and I hope you will do that now. B'hatzlacha.

As always, I love your articles. They are always very interesting and inspiring.Thank you.

(9)
flyafl@aol,
September 19, 2006 10:33 AM

choose life

I agree that God judges us based on how we progressed. If ones yaitzer hara was empowered and tried to get a person to fall far and with great effort he only fell a little that may be a temporary success and be deemed worthy of a positive judgement.

(8)
Shoshana,
September 19, 2006 4:49 AM

great article and great book!

im in the middle of reading your book holy woman, and its so uplifting- its the perfect book to be reading before the yamim noraim! have a shana tova

(7)
:)Yoshe,
September 18, 2006 12:24 PM

:) Smile at our selves more often ...

and kiss The Sky. :)

(6)
MarciaBernstein,
September 18, 2006 11:15 AM

Wonderful article!

I was moved by your article, and identified with your feelings. I have become involed in Hadassah, and know that I have found where my energies are needed.Thank you.P.S. I also ordered your book.

(5)
Alesandra,
September 18, 2006 12:51 AM

Great article...

Once again I have to admit that you Sara are the best Abstracist around... modestly add that to your report card please...shavuouah tov, and hatimah tovah... lovely article and inspiring me too... thanks...

(4)
shellieneumark,
September 17, 2006 11:23 PM

A TRULY GIFTED WRITER

IT IS ALWAYS A TRUE PLEASURE TO READ SARA YOHEVED RIGLER'S ARTICLES. SHE TOUCHES MY SOUL. A TRUE SOUL SISTER.

(3)
char,
September 17, 2006 9:57 PM

One's Annual Report Card

Thanks for the encouraging approach to self-analysis in this time of introspection. You can add this mitzvah to your list for helping me and no doubt others. I had overlooked some baby steps I had taken. Practice makes perfect.

(2)
LeahAbramowitz,
September 17, 2006 2:57 PM

As usual, I loved this article. I just want to point out that not only reports on progress deserve recognition in the spiritual realm, but also "more of the same". That is sometimes it's easier to go to a sheur on Teshuva once, even though you're dying to read a novel or get to bed, but to continue doing that, to keep up not yelling at your kids, to repeat some good deed which you managed with inhuman strength to do once, is just as important. And as you so rightly pointed out, sometimes the one to evaluate what we did, just like in housework, is we ourselves. Who else appreciates that the kitchen looks neat, that the ironing is all done for this week, that the Shabbat meal went off well, if not we ourselves.

(1)
sarah shapiro,
September 17, 2006 9:28 AM

Sara, as I was reading this I got a phone call that -- if I would respond to the person's request -- would necessitate getting up off my chair and taking a bus downtown in the heat. Because of what the article was telling me, I chose to GET UP NOW AND DO SOMETHING FOR A FRIEND.

The only thing I did first was to finish the article, because it was too interesting to stop.

My Christian friends are always speaking about “faith.” To me this sounds a lot like blind faith. Is that really the essence of religion?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I'm afraid that this is another case of a Christian concept being mis-associated with Judaism.

Let's first define our terms. What is faith?

Webster defines faith as "Belief without proof."

What is knowledge? "An acquaintance with truth, facts or principles through study or investigation."

Faith is usually a product of desire. Have you ever gotten a tip on the market that guarantees you're going to triple your money in a month? A lot of smart people have gotten fleeced because they ignored the evidence and went with their feelings.

Knowledge, on the other hand, is based on evidence. We know there's a place called China because we have too many products in our house saying "made in China." There's a lot of evidence for the existence of China, even though most of us have never been there.

Judaism unequivocally comes down on the side of knowledge, not faith. In Deuteronomy 4:39, the Torah says: "You shall know this day, and understand it well in your heart, that the Almighty is God; in the heaven above and the earth below, there is none other." (This verse is also contained in the prayer, "Aleynu.")

This verse tells us that it is not enough to simply know in your head, intellectually, that God is the Controller of everything. You must know it in your heart! This knowledge is much more profound than an intellectual knowledge. God gave us a brain because he wants us to think rationally about the world, our role in it, and our relationship with God.

A conviction based on desire or feelings alone has no place in Judaism. The Hebrew word "emunah," which is often translated as faith, does not describe a conviction based on feelings or desire. It describes a conviction that is based on evidence.

Once this knowledge is internalized, it effects how a person lives. A person with this knowledge could transform every breathing moment into a mitzvah, for he would do everything for the sake of the heaven. But this is not a "knowledge," that comes easily. Only intensive Torah learning and doing mitzvahs can achieve this knowledge. Every word of Torah we learn moves us just a little bit closer to that goal. And everyone is capable of that.

To learn more, read "The Knowing Heart," by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (Feldheim.com). This entire book is an explanation of this verse!

In 350 BCE, the building of the second Holy Temple was completed in Jerusalem, as recorded in the biblical Book of Ezra (6:15). The re-building of the Temple had begun under Cyrus when the Persians first took over the Babylonian empire. The re-building was then interrupted for 18 years, and resumed with the blessing of Darius II, the Persian king whom is said to be the son of Esther. The Second Temple lacked much of the glory of the First Temple: There was no Ark of the Covenant, and the daily miracles and prophets were no longer part of the scenery. The Second Temple would stand for 420 years, before being destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE.

You shall know this day and consider it within your heart(Deuteronomy 4:39).

Business people who are involved in many transactions employ accountants to analyze their operations and to determine whether or not they are profitable. They may also seek the help of experts to determine which products are making money and which are losing. Such studies allow them to maximize their profits and minimize their losses. Without such data, they might be doing a great deal of business, but discover at the end of the year that their expenditures exceeded their earnings.

Sensible people give at least as much thought to the quality and achievement of their lives as they do to their businesses. Each asks himself, "Where am I going with my life? What am I doing that is of value? In what ways am I gaining and improving? And which practices should I increase, and which should I eliminate?"

Few people make such reckonings. Many of those that do, do so on their own, without consulting an expert's opinion. These same people would not think of being their own business analysts and accountants, and they readily pay large sums of money to engage highly qualified experts in these fields.

Jewish ethical works urge us to regularly undergo cheshbon hanefesh, a personal accounting. We would be foolish to approach this accounting of our very lives with any less seriousness than we do our business affairs. We should seek out the "spiritual C.P.A.s," those who have expertise in spiritual guidance, to help us in our analyses.

Today I shall...

look for competent guidance in doing a personal moral inventory and in planning my future.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...