In my work as a day-of wedding coordinator, I've realized something: It doesn't have to be this way.

A wedding doesn't have to be the kind of occasion that makes my clients shake their heads and say, “We're this close to eloping.” Or an event that they look upon in disbelief: “We've spent how much? On what?!” Or a hurdle they can't wait to clear: “It'll be such a relief when we're done!”

A wedding doesn't have to be what a wedding has become.

What can a wedding be? It can be a celebration of a commitment that, in many cases, predates the wedding by several years. It can be a recognition of all a couple has already done together: the leases they've signed, the children they've had, the love they've shared in countless ways for countless days. It can be a tribute to those who helped a couple grow into the kind of people capable of loving another human being.

A wedding can be fun.

To help people feel less isolated as they plan their weddings, I've made the resources I use as a day-of wedding coordinator available for all to use:

Vendor and Wedding VIPs List: One of the first things I do when a client hires me is create a contact list. It helps organize my thoughts and identify who’s doing what. Then, at least a week before the wedding, I add all the contact information to my phone. It helps avoid those awkward "um, who's this?" moments.

In most situations, I email all vendors at least 10 days before the wedding. I introduce myself, provide my contact information, ask any clarifying questions, and confirm arrival and departure times in an abbreviated version of the main event timeline that I’ve created.

For the Wedding VIPs, I email them at the start of the week of the wedding. Like with the vendors, I introduce myself, provide my contact information, and confirm arrival and departure times in an abbreviated version of the main timeline.

Questions I Always Ask Vendors: Every wedding, I find myself asking the same types of vendors the same types of (random-ish) questions. These are the details that aren’t immediately obvious but will really help your planning.

DJ’s Script: To help your reception run smoothly, I recommend you designate someone to play MC throughout the evening. If you're hiring a DJ, they'll typically do this. If you're not, pick a member of your wedding party. All will find this script handy.