1.21.2014

How to get your toddler to poop in the potty!

One of the most common issues I've heard parents run into when their child is learning to use the potty is poop! A lot of children are afraid to poop in the potty. There are stories of children holding their poop for days or waiting for a moment when the parents cave and put on a diaper on their bum. Some children find a hiding spot or wait for mom and dad to be really busy before taking the chance and sneaking a poop into their underwear. As a parent, it's frustrating! Your child will cheer and dance when it's time to pee in the potty, but pooping is a whole different story. Perhaps you've tried stickers, rewards, all types of bribery and nothing is working. Here's my tip!

The key for my tip to work is your child has to REALLY need to poop. I'm talking you can smell it, it's about to fall out, there's no doubt about it.

My son would run to me and tell me he had to poop. We'd get to the potty sit down and he'd change his mind.

"No. All done."

But he wasn't all done! He still needed to poop. Nothing had come out! Many times I could see the poop there, ready to go! He just needed to push.

"No, not yet. Push, buddy! You can do it."

"No! No poopy! All done!"

He'd arch his back and try to get himself off the toilet. There were times when I wanted to cave. Let him down, knowing that as soon as he was free from the potty he'd go poop in his underwear. I needed him to get over the fear. I'm not so sure what he was afraid of. Perhaps it was a big hard poop, I don't know.

I decided I needed him to do it. I need him to go through the process to see that it's okay.

So I didn't let him down. Instead, I sat down in front of him. On a stool, on the floor, in a squat, whatever! I hugged him really tight! He'd say no. He'd get hot, even sweaty, but I held him and told him it was okay. I didn't let him go. And lo and behold, he'd poop!

We'd cheer loudly! I'd make a huge deal of it!

"See! You did it! Yay!"

The next couple of times, it was the same story, but after he'd poop he'd say the same...

"Yay! See! I did it!"

Once he got passed the fight, he'd still ask me to hug him when he had to poop. So I would. Whatever made him comfortable. I worried this would continue for a long time, but a month later, he no longer needed my hugs for pooping.

Occasionally when I need to use the bathroom he offers to give me a hug. Can't a mom get some privacy?

I offered this same advice to Christine at Thoughts of Fluff. Her little boy was struggling with pooping on the potty, fighting to get down. I told her to hold him firmly in a hug, reassuring him it was okay. It worked for her too!

So if you think you've tried everything and it's not working, try this!

13 comments:

We've been having this problem... ugh, so frustrating, but I'm going to give this a try! My only worry is that my daughter will hold it repeatedly instead of going. Did you ever have that problem with your son? Thanks for sharing your story. :)

A lot of children are afraid to poop in the potty.carol cline start potty training book There are stories of children holding their poop for days or waiting for a moment when the parents cave and put on a diaper on their bum. Some children find a hiding spot or wait for mom and dad to be really busy before taking the chance and sneaking a poop into their underwear.

Ugh, my son is afraid to poop in his diaper. I can't even image what it will be like when we get to potty training :( I've tried holding him, telling him it's okay, etc., but nothing works. After a couple of days he will go...lots...but he's super unhappy about it and diaper changes are a nightmare for the next few days just dealing with the aftermath. I'm not sure if he's just hyperaware of his body, or he hates diaper changes so much, or what, but it's been a real ordeal. On advice of the pedi he's been on stool softeners for months and we try to give him a high fiber diet, but that's the best we can do for now.

I've been struggling for months now with my 3 year old. January we moved into a new house, February we had a new baby, March we potty trained him. April he tried to quit pooping all together. He now won't even go in his daiper. I think he's just doing it as a control thing because so many things were changing. But it worries me how little he's pooping and he's constantly crying because he has to poop so bad but then refuses to actually do it. I'm at work right now and my husband keeps calling me because after 3 hours he'd already changed 5 skid marked diapers. I was thinking about going to barnes and noble and buying all the poop books I could find and then just sitting on the toilet with him but I like this so much better. He's been asking me for hugs while trying to poop but I've been stand off-ish because it means I'll have to lean against a toilet, but maybe I say screw it and just do it! I'll be leaving work soon. I'll let you know how it goes. If he just gets it out tonight I'll be so amazingly happy!!!

Update: I can honestly say that in the past I've sat many hours in the bathroom with this kid to no avail. Your method worked in minutes. I almost cried when he said he was done. I literally had to hold back tears. Thank you so much for sharing! You were an answer to many many prayers!!!

Yay!!!! I replied to your first comment last night, but it didn't register for some reason. I am SO glad you found something that worked! My son is almost 4, a year and a half since I wrote this post, and I promise that I don't have to hug him all the time. Every once in a while he will still ask for it, but not all or even most of the time.

Eager to try but quick,question, when my son shows signs of going, do I just pick him up and go to the bathroom with him? We've battled constipation since the start of training and I just don't want him stopping and withholding again. He normally tells us to look away or move back when it's time so I know that picking him up will start a battle. Do I just proceed with it? I think a hug is genious!

I have absolutely picked my son up and carried him to the potty! A lot of times if I just asked, he would say no. Sometimes he needs me to tell him "Go to the potty!" and sometimes I pick him up and set him down. He doesn't really fight me on though. In the past he may have wanted to get down, but the hug held him in place until he could go. Good luck!

I hope to try this method tomorrow my little guy holds his and he already deals with constipation, and thankfully seems to be better I just need to try and get his fear of pooping gone, he always tells me it's too hard

I'm going to try this cause my 3 year old daughter is afraid to poo in the potty and she wont tell me when she does poo in her panties. today she done pooed in her panties 4 times after I took her to the potty. I hope this work. I tried everything and nothing worked