Twitter in Focus: Julius Sharpe

Hey bros! Welcome to Twitter in Focus where media comes to die! Today’s contestant is Julius Sharpe, writer for Family Guy. No, not the one that was at Occupy, but another one. Trust me, he’s funny. Let’s find out if his tweets stack up to Greased up Deaf Guy.

December 12th: “A look at any wedding registry will tell you people are way too optimistic about how often they’re going to make muffins”

I got my friend a pasta maker and when he got divorced it was one of the few things he kept.

December 12th: “I hope “War Horse” is bad so as I leave the theater I can say, “That was the ‘War Horse-t’ movie I’ve ever seen.””

Are you sure you write for Family Guy?

December 12th: “It’s much cheaper – although less impressive – when you say it with flour.”

Unless you’re antiquing someone.

December 12th: “We should start calling the elderly “the smellderly”.”

When are they going to make a Glade plugin for grandma?

12 hours ago: “I can tell how good a tweet is by how many times I get blown after. So far, the record is zero times.”

You are clearly the most optimistic person on Twitter. Except for maybe Charlie Sheen, who probably gets blown after every tweet.

9 hours ago: “The couples in Cialis commercials look like they should have gotten divorced 8 years ago.”

That drug keeps a marriage alive.

4 hours ago: “When my dorm R.A. demonstrated how to put a condom on a banana, it made me wonder how long he’d been banging fruit.”

Damn, you’re still living in a dorm? Fuck, I’m way too old to write Family Guy.

Okay, let’s rate Julius’s tweets. He’s clearly doing some quality tweeting here. A major effort. Practically doing stand up live. I give him a 9 for Insanity, a 10 for Style and a 10 for Mustness. That’s a 9.6. Definitely one to follow, bros.