Saturday, July 22, 2017

#FakeHairDontCare! Why I Started Wearing Wigs!

I can't believe I'm doing this! But I've seen the looks (like, HUH?), I've gotten the sideways glances from folks out and about. I see your confusion and sense your skepticism. So, I'm coming out!

I mean, this isn't something I particularly want to announce to the world. But if ya'll know me, or have read my blog much, you know I am an open book. I like to be real with people and I like to share my experiences in the hopes it helps someone else. And I hope that by sharing my story, someone else may be brave enough to take matters into their own hands to feel pretty again.

That's why I started wearing wigs....to feel pretty.

Yes. Wigs.

I always had beautiful, thick, long hair, but I started losing it during my first year of college. So much so that my mother took me to the doctor. He thought it might be stress related, but really had no explanation.

Me at 17 years old...TONS of Aqua Netted hair!

Over the course of my 20's and early 30's, my hair would have periods of regrowth, then periods of thinning, but it never recovered to what it once was. No matter what, you could always, ALWAYS see my scalp through my thinning hair. No amount of teasing or back combing helped. I just lived with it and tried to make the best of it.

Then, after I had my daughter in 2008, my hair loss increased. Maybe it was hormonal, but the thinning was out of control! I researched ways to hide it and tried extensions.

Me with my first extensions. Made them myself from hair from Sally's Beauty Supply!

Those gave me length, but didn't hide the thinning on top. Then I found the answer! Wig toppers!

Me with an expensive wig topper on...just adds a lot of volume on top.

A wig topper or "crown extension" is a piece that you clip in at the top of your head to give you volume on top. Since my hair was long (albeit super thin), the topper blended perfectly! But the toppers are expensive! The topper I used was over $300! And guess what? I lost it after a hotel stay. :(

I was heartbroken. But after some due diligence on youtube, I learned how to make my own!

Me in my home made topper from a dark wig that I cut up. It blended so well and only cost about $35.00!

Oh! And fake nails! Much more widely accepted than wigs, but still FAKE! lol

Another topper I have in blonde. You can blend with your own hair so easily.

Dress it up!

Pull it back.

Even in a ponytail!

Much more cost effective and easy. And no one had a clue! I just got funny looks like, "Your hair looks awesome today! Did you do something different? Sometimes I would tell, and sometimes I wouldn't. But I always enjoyed the compliments and FINALLY felt pretty again.

My husband at the time said he didn't mind that I wore fake hair. But I later found out from people he worked with that he made fun of me behind my back about it. He was also cheating on me behind my back, so I shouldn't be surprised he'd make fun of my hair loss. But when I found out, it really hurt because he had seen my struggle for more than a decade and still poked fun at something I couldn't help. My guess is there are and will be people who will still poke fun. But that says more about them than it does me. You just have to brush those people off and move along and do YOU! Ya know?

But let me just tell ya'll real quick...I am married to a man now who is secure in himself enough to just let me be me, and loves me for who I am! Fat or skinny, thick hair or thin hair, whatever! He thinks I'm beautiful no matter what and would never dream of making fun of me behind my back. That's a REAL MAN ya'll! And I'm so thankful for him.

Anyway, after my first husband and I divorced, I took a break from wearing the wig toppers because my hair was healthy (still thin) and was looking cute after a great new cut and color. I didn't wear fake hair for about 3 years.

These are pics of my real hair when it was longer, thicker and healthier...just a few years ago...

This was my first hair cut and color after my divorce. It was so cute and I loved it! My hair wasn't thick, but I could live with it because the cut and color was so good! Thanks to Tina at "Just Teasin" in Belfry, KY!

Those were pretty great hair days...and just 3 years ago! THIS is what I hope to get back to, as I wait for my hair to grow back. Still thin and baby fine here, but this is the hair I could live with and still feel pretty.

But after gall bladder surgery, a stroke, a second marriage, moving away from all my friends and family, a new job, a new home and a new blended family, all in one year, I guess the stress just took its toll and my hair suffered! On top of that, I got a short haircut, thinking it would look thicker, but it didn't. It looked thinner. The only way to work with it was to tease the heck out of it! But then I had helmet hair and looked like an old lady. UGH!!!!

Deep breath.....

So, his is my hair now..significant balding and not much to work with at all. :(

THIS is why I wear wigs. I just can't do anything with it anymore.

I felt so ugly in this hair. :(

This was the best I could do with it just last winter. So, so thin. You can see straight through to my scalp. It was too much of an ordeal to make it look just OK every day. It's like baby's hair.

I felt so ugly and not like my confident self.

Enough was enough!

Guys, I just wanted to feel like me again...to feel pretty. But I didn't. I felt ugly and old.

I decided life was too short to walk around hating how I looked every day. So I decided to take the plunge and start wearing fake hair again! My hair was way too short to blend with the toppers (I tried that first). So, I decided to just go all out and wear wigs! I watched a ton of brave women on YouTube show off their faux hair and tell their stories. So many of them sounded like me!

I have not been diagnosed by a doctor (but I am visiting one soon to discuss my hair loss), but what I believe I have is a form of alopecia. I've tried vitamins, special shampoos and vitamins, I've tried Rogaine for women, scalp massage, conditioning treatments, nothing has worked. Some years my hair will seem thicker, but it's never great. The National Alopecia Ariata website says this...

"With all types of alopecia areata, hair loss and regrowth can be very unpredictable and cyclical (happen over and over), for many years. Though for some people, hair may regrow and not fall out again. Currently there is no cure for alopecia areata. However, your hair follicles remain alive no matter what type you have. This means that hair regrowth can happen after many years of severe or widespread hair loss."

This is so me! It just happens over and over and over, but never gets completely better. Right now, protecting it with a wig and not processing it or using heat on it, etc. has made it grow a little thicker, especially in the back and on the sides. There's no hope for the top! But it is slowly coming back and maybe this time next year, I can get back to uncovering my bio hair!

But here I am now, ALL IN with the wigs! And ya'll, I am loving it! Wearing wigs has opened me up to all kinds of beautiful colors and styles that I could have never EVER had before! I get to have thick, gorgeous hair again! I haven't had that since I was a teenager!

Love having big hair and curls again!

Just like high school...only NO AQUA NET! lol

I mean...for real tho!

You can't tell me that doesn't look amazing!

Sleek and professional...

That hair every girl wants!

Holy Rapunzel!

Love this hair! Easy and fun!

I don't walk around embarrassed because you can see my bald scalp through my hair anymore. I walk around with confidence and feel pretty again. You can't put a price on that ya'll. Self confidence is priceless!

Now, I know what some of you haters are gonna say, "Well, aren't you embarrassed that you're wearing a wig for crying out loud? That's more embarrassing than having thin hair!" And the answer is no, I'm not.

And why should I be? We've all done things to change or improve our appearance, haven't we?

Do you give women a hard time who have had their boobs done? Do you give people a hard time because they had weight loss surgery or wear false eyelashes or wear high heels to look taller, or get eyebrows tattooed on, or have lip injections, or have Botox? If you do, you're a hateful person with too much time on your hands to worry about other people's business! Get a life!

People do all kinds of things to feel better about themselves...and that's ok. I have thin hair, so I choose to wear wigs. You have flat breasts, so you choose to get implants or wear a push up bra. Another has forehead wrinkles, so they get botox injections..and it goes on and on. It's ok!

You do you, and I'm just gonna do me and lets just worry about ourselves, ok?

I am growing out my hair right now, slowly but surely and hopefully will get it back to a length and style that I can live with and feel good about. But for now, I'm wearing fake hair. And I'm loving it! It's something you have to work with to make look natural and look like your own. I have watched a ton of videos and have experimented with inexpensive wigs. I bought a hair topper for $300! But I will never do that again! Every wig I have owned (and all of these pictured here) has been less than $50!

So there it is folks! I put it out there. You can ask, you can look at my hairline, you can touch it! lol It's ok. I just wanted to be real witchya'll!

To those of you who are scared, it's ok! If you want to do something different, just know that there are millions of us out there who are doing it too! And it's awesome! And unlike me, you don't have to tell a soul! I just wanted to share and offer my support to other women out there who struggle with the same thing and let you know that if you don't feel pretty, you CAN!

You look beautiful either way! I'm so glad you are having a good experience and feeling pretty and confident. Also I'm so sorry you ever went through the pain of your husband cheating on you and doing what he did and making fun of you. It's unfathomable and God will take care of it. It's doubly hard when you went to church with him to know he did that. That's why I am so happy you have a wonderful husband and many blessings. That's so awesome!

People in this society are too hung up over appearance and such things. Near obsessed it seems sometimes. I think that's because the unsaved world doesn't know how to love people with God's love not based on lust or sexual attraction or what they can do for you. I pray we start viewing each other with God's eyes, seeing each person as valuable and beautiful as a creation of God. And that in dating and marriage, we are with the one God has for us and see beauty as merely an extra blessing not the main thing.

I am so happy you are having a good experience and feel pretty and confident! I'm also so happy God has blessed you and you have wonderful husband who loves you and will take care of you. I'm so sorry you had to go through the experience of your husband cheating on you and making fun of you. As those who have been through it know, it's one of the worst things to go through. It's doubly hard having gone to church with your ex-husband and knowing he did that to you. God will bring justice and take care of it!

wow, i had no idea? real, fake, whatever, you've always had gorgeous hair. it doesn't change my opinion of you in any way, except that i know now that you are even stronger than i thought you were. i say that because you are able to tell this, not worrying about what anyone says or thinks. you are a beautiful person, inside & out. and that is all that matters to me! <3