EGG MCHIPPIE

This breakfast is like so spiritual and full of heady karma, man.

The dirty longhairs have taken over breakfast! At least one that I picked up at a summer concert did. Mind you, she was a hot young not-yet-jaded hippie, but a hippie all the same. The previous night she proved herself to be a carnivore repeatedly stuffing a certain meat into her mouth. But come morning when the alcohol and whatever mind-alerting bohemian substance she may have been on wore off, the self-righteous hippie returned. There I was casually frying up bacon when she started lecturing me all about how the poor little piggies suffered. But this hippie-crite hottie was more than happy to eat eggs, neglecting to bemoan the miserable conditions of egg-laying hens. So I assembled the veggies in my fridge and did my best to improvise. This aphrodisiac triple-threat turned out pretty damn good for a meal on the fly. Good enough for me to bang her again before I inadvertently pissed her off when she saw the sign in my bathroom that reads: HIPPIES USE SIDE DOOR (no exceptions!). That saved me the trouble of announcing I was going seal clubbing that afternoon so she would leave.

Step 1
Bring a thin layer of water in a pan to a boil. Chop the ends off the asparagus and throw in the pan. Crack the eggs on either side of the asparagus, throw green onions over each and poach (approx 5 min). Chop the poached asparagus spears in half.
Step 2
Toast the English muffins and then assemble 2 magnificent towers of veggie/egg goodness: tomato, asparagus, avocado, egg, basil, salt and pepper.
Serve up with a NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI before another roll in the hay.