blog of an australian woman stomping through the treacherous minefields of pregnancy after ivf treatment and step-parenthood - any moment now she may explode and become.... the evil stepmonster

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Reconnecting

I have been spending a lot of time in bed lately. And hospital. My latest side effect is anaemia. I have been having blood transfusions every couple of weeks. One week in bed... one good week... another week in bed... Fun and games.... Shits and giggles....

DH has been trying to talk me into putting a tv in the bedroom, but I have resisted. He decided that he misses reading my blog so went to buy me an i-pad - despite my objections to the cost. In the end he decided it didn't have enough power and bought me a laptop at 3 x the price. There is a lot of Tim the Toolman in my husband.

Despite the anaemia, the Oncologist has been happy with my response to the trial drug. The first lot of CT and MRI scans in June showed all tumours had shrunk in size to varying degrees. Results for the 2nd lot of scans are due tomorrow and no-one is quite so optimistic. The lymph node tumours under my arm have visibly increased in size over the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure if they will keep me on this trial if that is the case. I am expecting not. We are meeting the Oncologist at 10am tomorrow. My anxiety levels are through the roof and keep leaking out my eyeballs.

On a brighter note, my baby girl is almost a year old! She is the most gorgeous thing and I just adore her. She is still doing the commando tummy crawl but has started to pull herself up and weight bear on her legs just this week. She refuses to talk but has some hilarious facial expressions and waves furiously whenever anyone enters or leaves the room. I must write a big post with photo's for you. I must also organise her birthday party. Bloody hell I'm hopeless - can't make a decision to save my life at the moment.

Thanks for stopping by and thinking of me, I will try to catch up on my reading over the weekend.

Hanging to see the latest pics of your sweet baby girl - one already! Wonder what kind of cake she will have .... she'll love it.

Wishing and praying for good news tomorrow. You have a LOT of people living in your new shiny computer, willing you on, sending you their hearts. You should totally use this to your advantage. Form an alliance or some shit.

How wonderful it is to hear from you and about you, Louise. I love that your hubby went all out for you, Ipad be damned, get my girl some real power! I'm thinking about you and pulling for you. Please post pictures of your little cutie!

I think of you all the time and just 'hearing' your voice here puts a HUGE smile on my face. I can't tell you how often I go back to all of the stepmum advice you've given me over the years -- it is such a touchstone.

I am, as Eden says, sending you my heart -- I hope you can feel it where over there halfway round the world.

I am so delighted to see an update. I have checked back often and am always hoping to see that you're hanging in there. I can't believe your little one is almost a year! Unbelievable. I am wishing nothing but the best for you in the days ahead ((hugs))

So good to see a post from you, I often drop past wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry for all you are going through.I too can't believe your daughter is almost one. Don't stress the party thing, just make sure there are lots of pics (don't forget the obligatory one of her with her cake and her mum and dad) taken on her special day and smother her in kisses, hugs and wrapping paper!You and your family continue to be in my thoughts.

I check over here often and think of you every day. Can't wait to see pics of your little sweetie girl at ONE!

By now you've had your meeting with the oncologist. So hoping it went well. The stress between visits must be crushing. Lean on that wonderful husband as much as you can and try to remember that you have love and prayers flowing toward you from ALL corners of the world.

I followed your IVF journey, while simultaneously going through my own. Your blog has been wonderfully cathartic for me, despite not succeeding in the babymaking journey (yet). About to give it another go, and I wanted you to know how much you've inspired me, as a 40 year old. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, you've touched more lives than you know. I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, sending healing thoughts, and hoping for the very best for you always.

About Me

I am a 40 year old, married, cat loving, book devouring woman with PCOS. An IVF veteran, I am finally mother to a gorgeous baby girl and stepmother to 3 teenage kids. I live in a small country town but work in the city.