NO LONGER ENCUMBERED BY ANY SENSE OF FAIR PLAY, EX-JOURNALISTS RETURN TO ACTIVE DUTY TO FIGHT THE TRUMPIAN MENACE!

Trumpcare goes off the rails, and the people say ‘Amen’

They had seven years to get ready for the day when they could repeal and replace Obamacare, labeled by Republicans as the root of all evil. But when that long-awaited hour finally arrived for Dealmaker Donny, his train went off the rails.

“We’re going to be living with Obamacare for the foreseeable future,” said House Speaker and Chief Sycophant Paul Ryan afterward, practically choking on the bitterness of words that were sweet music to my ears.

How strange was yesterday?

Liberal Democrats like me were put in the weird position of having to root for the hated Freedom Caucus — the extreme right-wing of the Republican Party that had long been a thorn in the side of President Barack Obama, along with thinking, feeling humans everywhere.

See, as bad as the Republican health measure was, the goose-steppers of the Freedom Caucus didn’t think it was bad enough, and Trump’s and Ryan’s attempts to appease them soured marginally less-evil Republicans into jumping ship. Before the end of the day, even my own congressman — Rep. Rodney Frelinghuysen — reportedly grew a pair, but lucky for him he was able to keep his pants zipped when Trump and Ryan pulled the legislation rather than risk seeing Rodney whip it out.

As for the members of the Freedom Caucus, it seems nobody is safe from them as they proved they’re ready to screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, and regardless of party affiliation.

And Donny? Well, here’s a shocker, he’s blaming the Democrats!

“Look, we got no Democratic votes, we got none, zero,” pouted Donny, trying desperately to put the onus anywhere other than on his own orange ass.

Yeah, that’s right, Buttmunch, not a single Democrat would vote for legislation that would have robbed millions of Americans of their health insurance, and from where I sit that’s a wonderful thing, a noble thing, especially since a great many of said Americans are way too stupid to even comprehend that simple, yet heroic deed.

Almost lost in the shuffle yesterday was the slimy maneuvering of Rep. Devin Nunes, head of the House Intelligence Committee. Nunes, who scuppered his own committee on Thursday by revealing evidence to his master in the White House, apologized to the panel yesterday for effing them over, then inexplicably doubled down on nefariousness by canceling a planned public hearing.

Nunes, who has overtaken weasel-faced fellow Republican Trey Gowdy as the most despicable member of the House Intelligence Committee (and boy, that took some doing), was immediately denounced by Democratic co-chairman Adam B. Schiff, who said Nunes was attempting to “choke off public information,” which might actually be understandable judging by the borscht-scented stench of putrefaction emanating from Nunes’ shorts.

Wrapping up his comments to the press, Schiff said, “Democrats feel that if we’re not engaged in this investigation, no one will be.” Truer words were never spoken.

Yes, it was another day of humiliation on the world stage for America, but also a hopeful day. In truth, this country went off the rails way back on Nov. 8, and maybe it’s going to take a few more days like yesterday before Trump supporters finally ken the disaster they’ve inflicted upon us all.

Stay tuned for the next train wreck. We probably won’t have long to wait.