Tired of Waiting to Get Married

I am a Boatswains mate third class in the U.S. Coast Guard. My girlfriend and I are tired of waiting to get married. We have been together six years.

She currently lives in Florida, and I am stationed in Massachusetts until 2015. She graduates from college in December.

After serious research, we have discovered that in order for her to become licensed as a teacher in Massachusetts, it could take nearly a year, maybe more, because they protect homegrown job availability.

This being said, we understand that until I get advanced and transferred or become tour-complete at my current state and get transferred, that it may be futile to try and get her up here with me. We will just be leaving again shortly thereafter.

The question really is why shouldn’t we get married? I want her to be able to use her spousal benefits because she has put the time in like any other spouse, just without the paperwork to back her up.

I have tried to look up how that would work, but to no avail. Will she be able to use health benefits while living so far from my station? Will I still get BAH with dependents even though she doesn’t live with me?

I still feel entitled to it because we would be paying for two households versus one. It wouldn’t cover us even if I did, but the few extra hundred would be very helpful. I appreciate your advice.

Sincerely,
JW

Dear JW,

You can marry your girlfriend now and she will be eligible for health benefits and have access to military commissaries and PXs etc.

There are many military couples who live separately for reasons such as school or employment. Sometimes spouses choose not to PCS because they like where they are so much that they don’t want to move. In any case, a spouse is still entitled to all of their benefits.

If you marry your fiancé now and if she stays in Florida, she would still get Tricare coverage. She should call Tricare for dvice on which plan to use: Standard or Prime depending on whether she lives near a military hospital.

You would receive BAH with dependents. I hope this is not too confusing. You can always call the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) and Tricare and ask questions.

Lastly, check with your administration section in your unit for more information. Your admin section would know exactly how to help you.

Sincerely,
Ms. Vicki

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Contributor

Ms. Vicki is a native of Dallas, has been the Dear Abby for the military community since her column began in 2005. A licensed therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Ms. Vicki holds a Master of Science in social work and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology.

Ms. Vicki appears regularly on Military.com and in the Fort Campbell Courier. Her column has also appeared in the Washington (D.C.) Times and in the Heidelberg (Germany) Post Herald. She has been featured on CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC.