recovery vs. addiction

In recovery, we recognize the power of relinquishing control, and we are OK letting go

In active addiction we want answers

In recovery, we learn to ask questions, even though there may be no answers

In active addiction, we want immediate gratification

In recovery, we finally understand the meaning of deferred gratification

In active addiction, we want guarantees

In recovery, we know life is a mystery and there are no guarantees

In active addiction, we want what we cannot have

In recovery, we appreciate what we do have

In active addiction, we are starving

In recovery, we’ve learned to pace ourselves through each meal and thus, we are content…

In active addiction we feel pain and hide from it. We numb ourselves with love and sex and torchbearing.

In recovery we feel pain, and face it. We find the tools we’ve learned for survival and use them instead of acting out and running away.

In active addiction we hope the other will change and love us

In recovery we recognize that people don’t change that easily and if we are to be content someday we need to move away from tension and conflict and find people and situations that are more loving and peaceful.

In active addiction we try desperately to figure out the PoA. We analyze, focus and try to figure him or her out. We believe if we understand who he is, we will understand why we were attracted to him.

In recovery we realize that nothing the PoA does or says has any bearing or relevance on knowing who we are. That focus needs to be placed on us for true healing and health…no where else.

In active addiction, we are children whose growth has been stunted and so we act immaturely

In recovery we are not afraid of growing up and taking on more mature responsibilities like taking care of ourselves and not depending on others for our happiness. We recognize that with self growth comes freedom.

In active addiction we think and act with our emotions alone

In recovery we have learned to control our emotions and thus, we think with our logical minds and use our hearts sparingly

In active addiction, we have no identities. We see ourselves through the lens of the PoA

In recovery, we have finally put denial and avoidance behind us and we are able to look at ourselves for who we really are and we’re OK with that

In active addiction we want Hollywood romance; we want a life of fantasy and perfection, we want our non-reality to be real.

In recovery, we come back down to earth and have accepted our reality and start to work to improve it or make peace with it