Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Let's just take a second before I get into it to point out that this picture is me in the act of "breaking and entering" on private party in NOLA, where I *nearly* got arrested. The house is nice, right? If those awful people hadn't shown up I was planning to head up the stairs and look in the windows and see Vampire Lestat playing the piano.

So, onto more important things...

I was sitting with The Hubs at Starbucks this weekend and a woman walked by wearing tight sweatpants and a shirt that was 4 sizes too small for her and came up above her belly button. Unfortunately for her, she didn't look good. Her tummy was sagging over the waist of her pants and jiggled as she strutted past our table. Now, I get that not everyone has a tight tummy. And that is *precisely* why she shouldn't dress like that.

It is the "muffin top phenomenon". WHY!? Must women who have jiggly bellies wear shirts that are too short and pants that are too tight? I don't care if some men like a little "wiggle" or whatever... I mentioned the "muffin top" to The Hubs and he was all, "the what top?"

Can you believe he's never heard of the term "muffin top?" Shocking, really. So I explained that when a woman wears pants that are too tight thus forcing her belly to sag over the top and look even larger than it really is, it creates a shape similar to a muffin: straight on the bottom and poofy on top. Like a muffin! Rather than laugh, or say, "wow that's creative!" he ventured to an area that I was not interested in going.

He said, "FUPA." And I just looked at him with a confused face. He said, "FUPA. It's what my college buddy used to call it."

"Call what exactly?"

The Hubs responded so matter-of-factly, "Fat Upper-Pussy Area".

The sheer shock of what he just told me washed over me. "Jason used to refer to women by using the term FUPA?!?! Woooowwww..... Did he make that up?"

"Yes, Jason invented the term. And, well, it's not exactly the same as a muffin top, if I understand it correctly. The muffin top is more of a fat stomach exacerbated by pants that are too tight and/or shirts that are too short. But FUPA is actually the area below the belly button and just above the pubic region. Some women just have fat there."

I just stared it him in utter disbelief and shock. Then we just got up, left Starbucks and went about our day. But I've been thinking about FUPA ever since. Even checking out my own "UPA" to see if it's fat. It appears not to be, but I think I'm still a little fuzzy on the details...

29 comments:

There is a woman I work with who has a masters degree AND an incredible muffin top. How do you tell someone who is educated that they have a muffin top? Shouldn't this just be something they know? It has been in existence for YEARS and no one knows how to approach her because really, it is NOT work appropriate.

That's hilarious!! What I especially like is that he said matter-of-factly that "some women have fat there" because it's true, and it's a part of a body that is hard to change. He didn't sound judgemental (although I am assuming it was used negatively in the past) because that is the way that bodies are and they are all different and they are all amazing. (end rant)

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I am a sass. And sometimes I wear two socks. Sometimes one. I'm also a mommy of two cats, a second wife (to Mr.T), a runner who will never look athletic, a smartypants, a new yorker at heart but masshole by birth, a shopaholic, a boring ex-accountant turned internet exec, a foodie, a watcher of too much crappy tv, a cheese addict (probably the reason I'll never look athletic), and a wine snob. Oh, and I wish I had an afro.
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