For those of you that have been a fan of mine since my entrance into the porn industry less than a year ago, you have somewhat of an idea of what I have been through regarding my personal life in my marriage, though you are probably entirely confused at the moment of what is really going on. My newer fans probably have no idea of what is going on so I am just going to give everyone a brief overview of what I have gone through and am still going through concerning my marriage.

This is a very touchy subject for me but because I feel the need to express myself to let go of the negativity that seems to linger in my soul I am going to share with you exactly what is going on. As you all know by now, my love and need to write is as great as my love and need for performing — it is just how I express myself. I am an open book, and have dealt with much criticism for being so open with everyone with everything, but my theory is that it is better to get it out of my system for my own benefit and to share with others things they may learn from.

Last year when I decided to enter into the porn industry my husband seemed completely supportive at first, he was fine with it as long as I was not having sex with other black men, and I was not being anally penetrated by another man’s penis.

These rules were agreed upon by both of us, we both found them fair and decided that it was of major importance for me to follow my dreams before I lose the chance and resent myself and my husband forever, we both thought we could survive me entering the industry so I went for it.

Late October of last year I went out to Los Angeles to find a way to enter the industry and found that by signing with an agency but I had also done something incredibly stupid while I was out trying to follow my dreams, I cheated. Up until this point I had been faithful to my husband though he had been unfaithful to me many, many times and I just felt like I wanted revenge but really, by cheating, I hurt not only him but myself, my marriage and the family we built.

When I came home from my trip after signing with my former agency I immediately admitted my mistake to my husband. He was not happy about my mistake or the fact that I was actually going to enter the porn industry even though we agreed that he could handle me entering porn.

This all happened about a week before our 2 year wedding anniversary on Halloween so things became very tense around the home. Although there was a lot of tension we decided to celebrate our anniversary by going out and when we came home, well, things did not end well and I ended up moving out with our child.

I had finally followed my dreams of doing porn but I was now going at it alone without the support of my husband and it really hurt me and effected some of my scenes, if you look back you can see the anger I had in some of my scenes and that was all really just hurt from not being with my husband.

It took a few months for me to decide I was "over" my husband and I decided that I would do interracial because I have no other reason not to and I was hoping he would see it and it would hurt him so much that he would come back to me realizing all of the wrong he had done that led up to my poor decision in paying back evil for evil by me cheating, I wanted him to realize that both he and I need help in our anger issues and just come back and make everything all better.

Though he and I were not speaking, I knew he still loved me and he knew I still loved him and he now actually admits to me that he was "Twitter" stalking me during our time apart so he knew everything that I did. Though I am not doing interracial any longer (unless if someone books me with him) I still am hearing about how hurt he was when he saw those scenes during our separation.

From the night of our 2 year wedding anniversary up until June of this year we did not speak to each other at all. I even had filed for divorce in April and if it were not for him calling me 2 days before the court date for the divorce to be finalized, we would still not be speaking.

Since calling off the divorce and beginning to repair our marriage and family for the sake of us and our daughter, I have found my husband to be very supportive of me and my adventures in the porn industry. He is actually very proud of me and that makes me so happy! We still have a lot of work to do but after 6 and a half years of being together, a child, a separation, and a ton of mistakes, we are not willing to give up yet.

I cannot lie and say that my occupation doesn’t affect the marriage we are working on rebuilding because it does No man wants his wife fucking other people, but he is realizing more and more every day that it is work, even though I enjoy it, there is nothing else behind it besides a performance.

Yes, I am having sex and enjoying it most of the time (as long as I have other good performers to work with) but it is just work and a performance. I just feel fortunate enough to have actually followed my career dreams and that my husband is now supportive of me.

I have seen myself a great improvement in my performances because I no longer am so hurt by being separated from my husband and therefore am no longer a ticking time bomb. I absolutely love him (although he does still irritate me sometimes) and look forward to hopefully filming a scene with him soon (so my IR fans still get their fix of me on a big black cock)! And we are celebrating our third year marriage anniversary this Halloween and intend to every other year hereafter.

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