Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 12

YOU SHOULD BE LIKE JAY Z – And you should seek your Beyonce. Girls have game nowadays. They got money, a personality, hustling skills, imagination, most are more liberal in bed etc. Don’t be intimidated. Embrace it. Become a power couple.

GIRLS DON’T MIND A MAN THAT HAS A CRY – We just mind when it’s over homo things. Like if we accidentally wash your white shirt with a red sock. Or after sex. Jesus. Or if you have a ‘crank’ ( a cry and a wank)

WE MIGHT FAKE ORGASMS FROM TIME TO TIME – But you sadists are able to fake entire relationships! Whats worse?

DON’T SHOUT OUT HORRIBLE THINGS TO GIRLS – I think this tit bit of advo only really applies to my under 21 readers (hopefully). But I was at a God awful juvenile club on Saturday (don’t ask) and a fairly attractive young whippet of a girl walked past and smiled at a dude who was standing behind me, so fuckwit screams out, “Pity you’re ugly!”. Now was that seriously fucking necessary? Comments like that stay with you for aaaagggggeeees. Espesh if you’re female. OK, homegirl wasn’t having a particularly good outfit night, I’ll admit, but haven’t we all? Plus old mate looked like an extra from a 1998 Boyzone video clip. So people in glass houses and all that.

TRUST YOUR GUT AND MAKE THE MOVE – If she is throwing hints your way and you think you may be interested, then ask her for her bloody number! Life’s short sugar nuts, she may be the one.

USE A FUCKING CONDOM – God knows the kinda dude that has partaken in that vaginal merry-go-round before you. Sort your life out please.