Tag Archives: humorous poem

. . . has more temptations,fewer rules and more vacations.Responsibility’s not a goal.It has more texture, has more soul.Life, as imagined, has more shiver.More tiramisu and less liver.More giggling and foolishness.Less lecturing and mulishness.Oh, that life could be less literal.More exciting and more clitoral!

The prompt words today are abstract, responsibility, goal and temptation.

This is my brother-in-law Jim being silly for illustrative purposes only. jdbphoto

Family Christmas: Reporting the Action

We’re resplendent with family dripping like jewels—gaudy ones, nosy ones, darlings and fools.They group ’round the Christmas tree, collect in groups.Grandpa stands proudly while Uncle Al stoops.The aunties are formidable with demands:a nip for their toddy, while meanwhile their handsexamine the silver, the linen and lace,draw dust trails with fingers and make a shocked face.

Why do we anticipate this all year long?When families gather, it’s bound to go wrong.And yet it goes on countless year after year.We call each one “sweetheart” or “darling’ or “dear.”We carve up the turkey, deliver the blessing,serve up the cranberries, yams and the dressing.We nod our heads “yes” and agree with the prattling,try to avoid unavoidable battling.

They open our presents and do not dare spurn them,yet we know in our minds that they’ll surely return them.The children are running and fussing and fighting,the parents regretting that they’re overnighting.Your sister’s dog likes to beat up on yours.He lies on his back, pinned down with all fours.Meanwhile you give thanks for all you are worththat tomorrow, again, there will be “Peace on Earth.”

The prompt words today are resplendent, formidable, anticipate and family.

To win a beauty pageant is a kinky dream.You want to be the biggest fish in a manmade stream.You’ll be closely examined both for charm and beauty,then questioned for your aptitude in fulfilling your dutyat shopping malls and other places where you’ll be on viewdisplaying what fine work your folks did creating you.

That you’re a lovely model is not up to debate.What an excellent product they managed to create!Compared to all the others, you simply glow and shine.You have that extra element we find hard to define.Is it a special need to please or is it blind ambition?Or did you simply need the cash for your college tuition?

We rather hope it is the last prompting your pageantry,so after one year on the runway, you’ll be able to break freeto live a normal life down here, milling with the crowd,for when you’re up there, special, hobnobbing’s not allowed.Jostled by the hoi polloi, your royal crown might tilt,or there is a danger it might be revealed as gilt.

Not a thing of value. Just a pretty piece of junk.A perfect metaphor all of this “glamor” to debunk.Beauty is as beauty does the adage tries to tell us,yet who we are is not the thing that pageants use to sell us.You are a perfect object standing up there on a shelf,made to please our eyes and ears. Not to please yourself.

Indeed, you’re slim and lovely. Your smile has its charm.You simply look enchanting there on the emcee’s arm.You will be fluffed and feted and put out on display.It won’t be free, this privilege that you have won today.But remember, please, when you’ve done all you’re told to dothat you will come down off that stage and simply live as you.

He thought she was a jewel so he bought her a rich setting,but when it came to housework and cooking and begettingor doing much of anything except asking for dough,she didn’t have much value. It turned out she was for show.

I have the need to be alone, to hide away, sequester,but my roommate never leaves the room! She’s somewhat of a nester.She seems to be ensconced here with her creepy boyfriend Lester,and my irritation’s turned into a boil about to fester.I may not make it to the end of the next semesterwhen I can find a roommate who is less of a rester.She can be a talker or messy or a jester.She can use my makeup, wear my clothes or gripe and pester.In fact, I will take anyone short of a child molester,so long as she’s a roamer—a gad-about, a quester!!!!

I hope I’ll be forgiven if I’m driven to imposeand point out that the place that you have chosen for reposeis on my bed, not yours, and on my freshly laundered clothes!You’ve drooled on my new-pressed jeans and snagged my finest hoseand that’s my favorite blouse there beneath your dripping nose,and though you look most comfortable in that snuggling pose,I fear you and your boyfriend I simply must depose.Is it possible to move to your own bed, do you suppose?