Be a Fundamentalist -- make sure the Fun always comes before
the mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be
canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in
the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a
day, and that will insure regularhilarity.

Remember that each of us has been given a special gift -- just
for entering. So you are already a winner!

The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision.
That is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That
way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can change the
channel.

Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.
And, no matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God
loves you --He's just not ready to make a commitment.

It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts,
thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a
condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a
day. And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember
what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get
even, get odd."

If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and
truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at
me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And
peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there,
pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace
everywhere.

I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future,
so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When
you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.

There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet
train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.

If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some
bad news and some good news. The bad news is -- there is no key to
the Universe. The good news is -- it has been left unlocked.

Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if
you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is
not a bureaucracy. So you don't have to go through channels.

Swami Beyondananda

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