Sometimes we see the world as black or white. We want either all or nothing. We want things to go the way we think they’re supposed to, the way we’ve thought of them, according to the way we’ve planned for them to go in our own heads.

But there are fifty shades of grey. Fifty ways of looking at a situation. We can choose to how we look at things. We can decide not to say something that might sound smart and sharp but is actually nasty and undercutting. We can decide to focus on the upside of a situation and not always look at the downside. We can practice cognitive intervention on our own brains and divert our thoughts from the negative and find something, one thing, any one little thing, to make us think of the positive.

The other day, I found myself in China. (Yes, really.) I had signed up for a trek with one of my kids and the weather was so drizzly, gloomy and grey.

Take the road not taken, China April 2014

I could have chosen not to go but I reminded myself, there are fifty shades of grey.

I just have to look for them.

The mountains in China, about 4 hours outside of Shanghai

Life is full of surprises and we never know where we’ll find ourselves. Sometimes changing our life means changing our perceptions. We might expect to be somewhere, and find ourselves some place completely different. So we have to stay open to all opportunities and trust the journey.

Tool for Tuesday: There’s beauty even in the dismal. There are fifty shades of grey. What? I didn’t say that first? You mean it’s the title of a novel about S&M? Oops!

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About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is a writer living in Western Galilee. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and many other publications. Her first book, The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker) was nominated for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Family Circle Magazine's 2011 Fiction Contest and author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You.

7 Responses to Tool For Tuesday: Looking For Fifty Shades of Grey

I like grey. I like grey days. I like fog and clouds. Not too hot on pollution but I hope you aren’t suffering. Grey days provide food for thought. No happy sunshine to distract me. Have a wonderful time!

Such a great reminder…especially for me…I am so sensitive to the energy around me weather wise,environment wise and people wise…what a great reminder that there are so many other energies and choices floating around that I can choose to focus on instead. Love this!

Thank you, Donna. I can understand your sensitivity to the energy around you. We have to make special efforts to don our invisible armor and stay focused on the important things in life. Thanks for the reminder!

Wow, beautiful photos even though it was gray. Gray days are great for catching up on all the things you meant to do. Like today, it’s gray and cold. A perfect day to catch up on posts that I’m way behind on. 🙂

Ten Ways To Free the Creativity Within

1. Who you are is life’s gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift back to life.
2. To be more you, be less you. Do the opposite of what you're used to doing.
3. Your personal record is against yourself and nobody else.
4. Fear is Forgetting Everything’s All Right
5. Put gratitude in your attitude.
6. Live in day-tight compartments.
7. When agitated, pause and breathe deep.
8. Remember the problem in front of you is never as large as the power behind you.
9. Take care of your mind, heart, body and soul each day.
10. You only get to live once and if you do it right, that’s enough.

Diana Bletter is a writer living in Western Galilee. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and many other publications. Her first book, The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker) was nominated for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Family Circle Magazine's 2011 Fiction Contest and author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You.