Today we’re going to have a sing-a-long. Do you remember that old children’s song “Dry Bones?” You know:

The toe bone connected to the heel bone,
The heel bone connected to the foot bone,
The foot bone connected to the leg bone….

etc. etc. etc? Well clear your voice, warm up your vocal chords- we’re going to have a Rob Pattinson Sing-A-Long directed by LTR fav friend Zephyersky! (And yes- LTR just got WAY hi-tech with a new image gallery. I even tested this on my cell phone so it SHOULD work for everyone! To participate, first click on the far left image and then SCROLL through the images by click each on the right- And Don’t forget.. you MUST sing along! If you don’t we’ll unleash the wrath of TammyO upon you)
(Start Here )

Hey- at least we didn’t end on “The happy trail connected to the cell-phone shaped “erection” that people spent hours gawking over trying to decide whether it was male genitalia or not- porn” (That was my suggestion)

Happy Singing’
UnintendedChoice

How much do you hate me for getting that song stuck in your head all day? Sorry…

I miss you. I didn’t know you for long, maybe a month or two in 2008, before the craziness of Twilight really hit and life was simpler- you could go into an In-N-Out without being accosted and no one cared who you were dating. Then you hooked up with Nikki Reed and she introduced you to The Wasteland- the trendy thrift store in LA. After you and Nikki fizzled out and you no longer had the guidance of a female, you mistook the Salvation Army- and I mean the one where the actual homeless shop- not the one the suburban mom, looking for a deal on baby books, goes- for a proper place to get cool clothes on the cheap. Mixed with the pieces of Edward, Tyler, Grandpa Edward & Salvador Dali’s wardrobe you stole off set, your homeless-wear plus the set costumes sure gave us a lot to talk about over the last year and 1/2.

But something seems to have changed. I heard rumors that you were seen with an iPhone 4!? WHAT!? I don’t even have one of those. And I’m the coolest cat around! (Meow) What happened to your Jitterbug phone? Does it know you’re cheating on it? How many times have you had to call Nick to ask him to remind you of your password to get INTO your iPhone? And it seems like lately you’ve put a little more effort into dressing- and that’s not like you. Take for instance what you were wearing when you went to hear Sam play at Hotel Cafe last week:

Notice that wasn’t “Navy blue parachute pants with clashing black shoes” CHECK or “ripped tshirt with jacket from 1984” CHECK! It’s like you’ve taken some of those millions you’ve made and discovered online shopping or something. And NOT from Craigslist.com where you can find 3 trash bags full of old clothes for $30.00 (Don’t get any ideas. I just made that up- it probably doesn’t really exit…) [Sidenote: What are you carrying in this picture? Did you bringing something for Sam to sign? It is your high school yearbook!?]

Confession time: I like a guy who dresses decently. I’m not saying I want my man to look like he stepped off the runaway, but something that matches, isn’t too ripped up or dirty and was purchased in this century is always nice. So while I appreciate the sentiment behind the dorky clothes of your past (the “I really don’t care about dressing nicely because I Have no idea how attractive I am” sentiment), I wasn’t one of those who was freaking out over every new picture when you showed up to a bar wearing a snuggie & a pair of snow shoes (It COULD happen!) Okay the blogger in me was freaking out because everytime the Dadcase comes into the picture or something new is worn from the last trip home to London when you raided Dick’s closettda it gives us so much blog fodder to laugh over, but the person, UnintendedChoice, who is attracted to you first and foremost isn’t super excited. I’d rather not be reminded of my nerdy cousin when I see new pictures of you out on the town.

But I’m wondering, what’s next? Are you trading in the DADCASE for a sleek “Skin” to carry your macbook Pro? Or no- don’t tell me.. you have an IPAD don’t you!? And WHERE is the Bubble jacket? Don’t tell me you gave it back to Dick when he was in town for the Eclipse premiere. You can’t be too good for the bubble jacket!

I don’t know Rob. I get attached to those things we’ve seen you in for these past 2 years (although considering you still own hand-sewn clothing you wore back in the Harry Potter days, I’m gonna guess you’re more attached than I am) And despite the fact that I’d love to see you out and about in a sleek pair of skinny jeans, a tight v-neck Tshirt (love a man in a v-neck. When Mr. Choice puts one on, GAME OVER) maybe in a metro-sexual, girly color like pink or purple- I know deep down Dorky Rob is still inside of sleek, cool Rob. Inside of THIS:

Yellow can look good!! Who knew!?

is THIS:

“American Flag wearing Rob.”

God bless the man who wears an American Shirt

and “Is he mentally-challenged Rob”

We always knew he should have played Corky…

and “Gift-bearing Rob”

Step 3: make her open the box

I’m just wondering when we’ll see uber-dorky Rob once again. Just promise me first you’ll kill me with a pink v-neck! Target has them on sale this week….

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Thanks to Robsessed for always being the place where I can find pictures!

Also happy happy birthday to wonderful LTR-reader JULES from all of us here at LTR! XO

What do you think? Is fame & money changing the way Rob dresses? Do you think someone is buying clothes for him? DO you think DEEP DOWN THERE our Dorky Rob is still around? Or do you think he’s closer to the surface and maybe even this week he’ll be back with a home-sewn t-shirt paired with a pair of Jorts & a trench coat (OMG Rob in Jorts- I’d die. Seriously. LIfe over. Dream Came True. No need to continue to live!)

Since you’ve been hiding out recently sleeping in with me everyday getting into character/working out/escaping freaky stalker Twimoms, we’ve missed you around these parts. In fact we’re starting to forget what you even look like (ok, ok just go along with me on this one gals), you know when you haven’t seen someone in so long you sometimes can’t picture them in your head? That’s what this feels like Rob! But fortunately for us some crappy rag-mag has published this easy how-to guide for recognizing your body parts on other people. So when that blessed day comes and you’re spotted out in that grandma sweater of yours we’ll be able to figure out it’s YOU and not Jake Gyllenhaal with a Dadcase. He wishes!

click to enlarge

Enlarge this badboy by clicking on it. Perfect size to be printed off and carried around in your handbag, Ladies. Just in cases!

Let’s break it down shall we…

Orlando Bloom’s Eyes– Elven eyes are better than Elven ears I suppose. But yea I can see this. And they actually kinda look related. Oh those Brits!

Matthew McConaughey’s Hair – Ef the hair, the only thing I’m worried about is Rob’s hair taking after Matthew’s and waking the neighbors with naked bongo playing. The boy’s not muscular enough for that kind of exertion.

Jake Gyllenhaal’s Eyebrows – So I take it Jakey’s eyebrows have to be pushed and pulled and plucked and tweezed and waxed into submission just like Robbie’s? Poor Jake.

Chase Crawford’s Lips – WTF?! I’d like to think we know a thing or two about Rob’s lips around these parts, especially when they get all smooshy. Besides, Chase Crawford looks like a melty Ken doll, I simply cannot agree with this or condone it. NEXT!

I’ve got a special surprise here for you in the front pocket of my dadcase

Dear Rob-

While we were busy TRYING to migrate servers, you were busy looking loverly in the snow with your dad-like briefcase, which I will now refer to as the “Dadcase,” while wearing your ONE jacket. It got me thinking, what in the world could you possibly be lugging around all over Vancouver in the Dadcase? Seriously, you’re like weighted down with some heavy machinery or something with that thing. You look like a homeless businessman trying to find an open cubicle to plug in to. Oh the possibilities of the Dadcase contents: