The Explosive Child

06-07-2010, 09:34 PM

Has anyone read this book (by Ross W. Greene)? I picked it up years ago, but my first impression was quite negative. Greene takes what I would consider as manipulative parenting practices (rewards charts, time-outs, punishment as "logical consequences") as normal and in fact desirable for most children. So that's a huge sticking point for me.

I was actually going to get rid of it, was in a bag to go to the library, but it was mentioned in one of the book idea lists in Attached @ the Heart. I was really surprised to see that, as it didn't seem AP friendly based on my first impression.

So I've started reading it more thoroughly. Greene's whole point is that while he believes mainstream parenting practices are useful and effective for most children (which I take issue with), they are not useful for what he calls "inflexible-explosive" children (or perhaps they're just more noticeably not effective for these kids). So he gives other ideas, really just a more programmed approach to discussion, compromise, and evaluating how important having your child do something actually is.

I would love to discuss this book w/ others who have read it and are living with their own "inflexible-explosive" children. It's an area that has always bothered me about attachment theory when applied to behavior and discipline - what do you do "in the moment" during a conflict with a child, and what do you do when your child does not seem to have an internal drive to be "right" with you (as Neufeld and Kohn and some of the other authors say will be true). I'm getting more ideas from this book about managing the day-to-day struggles we've been facing than I have with my last several re-reads of Unconditional Parenting, Raising your Spirted Child, Hold onto Your Kids.

Comment

I'd love to see it on the reading list at some point! Many of the books seem more focused on the idea of attachment & parenting younger children, so it would be good to have some reads that are more appropriate for grade-school and older kids.