Hope Clicks Eternal – The Cincinnati Bengals

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

For as long as I have been torturing myself (and you) with these articles, I had yet to find concrete examples of undiluted anger. Sure, there were a few armchair patriots who got their say in during the early days of the anthem protests, but that wasn’t the kind I was looking for. No, I wanted the rage that only surfaces when the team you support finds another aggravating way to lose, and to a hated division rival, in an embarrassing fashion for the whole world to see.

Well, I got that shit in spades following the Monday Night game between the Steelers & Bengals.

Almost seconds after the game ended, and the Bengals social media team (reluctantly) posted the final score

the explosions commenced.

They kept coming,

and coming,

and coming.

It was a bukkake of hate.

Yet, despite the dirty play bringing out haters on all sides – on Bengals Twitter,

Bengals Facebook,

and Bengals fan Facebook pages,

there was one specific target for the ire:

Marvin Lewis has completely wasted the prime years of AJ Green, Dunlap, Geno, Burfict, Dalton, Gio just like he did with Ocho, Whitworth, Palmer, Joseph & Hall.

Now, I realize he’s a lightning rod for most Bengals fans, since he’s been around 14 years and acquired 0 playoff wins, but the Steelers game seems to have galvanized frustrated fans, as it spawned three separate hashtags

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

This has been building since the 2012 playoff loss. I think Brown will let Lewis go. Brown’s a shitty GM but he’s a great businessman and you don’t make money when the paying customers go from angry to apathetic to FC Cincinnati fans.

Speaking of quality hate, it’s nice to see that sometimes Big Daddy Balls has still got it:

…any sane Philly fan should watch the coming playoffs peeking through their hands. That is that kind of mopey fatalism I am accustomed to, and it’s certainly more appealing than a bunch of bald assholes crowing because they’ve been tricked into believing that you can’t lose a game if you haven’t played it yet.

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