It’s official: If you’re an old man walking down a flight of stairs and you hear Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict behind you, you might as well just throw yourself down the rest of the steps so at least you know when it’s coming.

I finally felt the pain of a Browns fan tonight, as throwing fifty bucks on that fucking team to lose by less than 13 points turned out to be about as good of an idea as giving a loaded firearm to Gary Busey.