Blazer and I went out this evening to feed the fish, which of course also includes feeding the snapping turtles. We have three in the pond at the moment, which is about four too many, and they are very hungry after a long winter fast. They will often climb about halfway out of the pond to get the food, but today one of them came all the way out and was really threatening me.

Blazer came roaring over and barked at the monster, who promptly reared up and bit the poor puppy on the nose! I heard the dog “yip” but didn’t realize he’d actually been bitten until we went inside. At any rate, he pawed at the shell and tried to roll the critter over. Mr. Turtle hurled himself back into the pond and was satisfied eating the bread I tossed in. We’ll have to see if he is quite as feisty tomorrow.

Last Thursday morning we woke up to find a deer had been hit and was in the ditch in front of the house. The Squire called the County to have the critter picked up, and they told us they’d be here “when they had a crew in the area”. It’s been a week, and frankly, there’s nothing left for them to collect.

By Saturday, the vultures had found it, and there wasn’t enough left on Monday for the County to worry about. Now, the birds have decided to drag what’s left of the carcass onto the lawn, so they don’t have to worry about being hit by cars themselves. The deer was originally in the ditch by the mailbox, and what’s left of it is now about halfway between the road and the pond. The Squire walked out to get the mail, and said there is nothing left but the spine, the ribcage, and what looks to be most of the pelt. And, like Lazarus, it stinketh. Lovely. Just lovely.

All we need is for Blazer to discover the joys of rolling in the carcass.

About two years ago Blazer decided he had enough seniority to sleep in Poppa’s recliner instead of on the floor. Poppa did not agree and kept a large cardboard box on the seat of the chair. A couple of days ago I found the box on the floor and assumed the cat had pushed it off while he was getting cozy.

Blazer does have a good thick pillow, courtesy of Local Granddaughter, so he’s not sleeping on the bare floor. Because the floor is admittedly cold, I had found an old, threadbare, flannel sheet and put it over the puppy every night, carefully tucking him in. Sometimes Blazer will get out of bed after he’s gone down for the night, and wanders around with the sheet over his back, The Ghost of Winters Past.

This morning I found the sheet on the floor next to the recliner. I’m not ratting on him, but it doesn’t take much to figure out where he’d spent the night!

There is a doggie day care center up the road from us, which really looks very interesting. The dogs are allowed to mingle in large, fenced off areas, with kiddie pools and toys, running and romping with each other. We are going on vacation soon and I thought perhaps Blazer might enjoy this sort of thing instead of the place where we usually board him.

Well.

They want a “trial day” first, which seems perfectly logical. Blazer has never been around other dogs to any great extent, and I was going to ask about bringing him up for a few hours, any way. However – that trial day costs $47.50, and if it works out we get a 10% discount on the next three visits.

Which cost $55 each.

I don’t think so. Blazer can do his socializing at the local park – for free.

I had a bout of really severe chest pain Saturday afternoon (Hey! That was only yesterday!) and The Squire insisted upon taking me to See Some Body.

We opted to go to Patient First, simply because we knew it would be faster. MUCH faster. The parking lot was absolutely empty; we were afraid they were closed, in spite of the “8:00 to 10:00/365 days a year sign on the door. A notice in the waiting room said to interrupt if you were having chest pain, and they really did hop to it. A nice fellow from North Carolina – a former military medic – swapped stories with The Squire while I was hooked up to an EKG machine. After much backing-and-forthing I was put into an ambulance and transported to the local hospital.

Where we waited and waited and waited. An hour and a half before I was seen by anybody. I did get a chest X-ray, and blood drawn, and then I lay in the bed and read my book. For reasons which escape me, I had grabbed my anti-spasmodic meds as I ricocheted through the bathroom before we left, and as the time neared 9:00 PM I had The Squire get me a glass of water and took them. To cut to the chase, the doctor decided to admit me: A) I had chest pain radiating to my jaw, and B) I’m over 65. What with on thing and another, it was midnight before I even had a prayer of getting some rest. However, I did manage to sleep pretty soundly from 12 M to 4:30 AM, so no reason to complain, there.

It really was a good thing I’d taken those pills in the ER, because they weren’t included in the orders when I got to my room. However, they were on this list for this morning, and I turned them down. More on that in a moment.

I was NPO this morning, as they were taking me down for a stress test “early”. We all know how “early” that can be in a hospital. My nurse did call to find out where we stood and was told I was number five on the list. She’d forgotten to ask what number they were on, but called back to double check. “Within the hour.”

During the discussion with the nurse in Radiology, I learned the stress test involved my having to lie perfectly still for 20 to 25 minutes! Fat chance of that, unaided. We called up to my nurse’s station and she sent down one of the anti-spasmodics I had refused earlier. Worked a treat! I galloped along on the treadmill for a bit, and then went over to take a nap in a CT-scan sort of machine. I drifted off to sleep, and The Squire met me in my room around 1:00, just in time for lunch. And thanks be to God for that! It had been just about 24 hours since we’d eaten lunch back at the Rice Paddy.

After I ate, the nurse removed the IV port from my arm, put on a bandage, and went about her business. A few moments later, The Squire put his head out my door and yelled, “Hey! My wife is bleeding in here!” I had blood everywhere! On the floor, on the bedclothes, and on MY clothes. I was holding one hand my elbow, catching blood as it continued to pour from my veins. What a mess!

All day long, everyone was very nice, very pleasant, and professional, and the food at the hospital was really good.

In the middle of all this commotion, The Squire was in charge of the parish’s Mother’s Day Brunch. Everything had been bought, and he had a crew to help him, but he did have to show up and boss people around for a while. He said Blazer simply refused to leave his post outside the bedroom door, waiting for Mummy to come back. It was a struggle to get him to go out to make a puddle.

In spite of all our best efforts, now both of us have this horrible cold. The Squire is still sleeping in the recliner in the TV room, while the cat has been helping me hold down the bed. The Squire seems to be on the mend, but I am now in the middle of this mess.

We headed upstairs when we got back from picking up the “Dough-Nation” from Panera. The Squire settled down with a book, and I did the same. I read for about an hour, but my Restless Leg Syndrome was still giving me fits, so I went downstairs to take a bit more medicine. His door was still ajar, and he was sound asleep with the book open on his chest. I removed the book, covered him up, and turned off the light. I tossed and turned a bit, and the last time I looked at the clock, it was after midnight.

The dog started to bark around 3AM, but by the time I put on my robe The Squire had already headed down to see what all the fuss was about. Nada. Blazer started up again a few minutes before 4, and this time we both went down. Not a thing to see, but we turned off the alarm and let the dog go take a really good look. Whatever was out there was on the other side of the stream. Blazer gave it a good barking at, and returned to the house with a smug expression.

I took a dose of cough syrup and staggered back to bed, hoping for a bit of uninterrupted sleep. No such luck. Even with the fan making white noise in the background, I had a hard time falling back to sleep, and then at 7AM Eddie decided it was high time for me to come feed him. Yeesh. Between 10PM and 7AM I managed to get about five hours of sleep.

I’m gonna go take a nap. Don’t call me. I’ll call you.

When The Squire came down at 4AM he was in his night clothes, but when I covered him up at midnight, he was still fully dressed. He asked me if I had wakened him and told him to change, which I had not.

“Must have been a Samuel Ready fire drill.” *

* When I was at school I woke up one morning with my jeans (dungarees, we called them) over my PJ bottoms. Apparently, we had a fire drill in the middle of the night, and I’d gotten up, dressed, and gone out to stand on the athletic field with every other girl in the school. Couldn’t prove it by me. If it hadn’t been that everybody was talking about it, and the head mistress had congratulated us on our perfect performance, I’d have guessed the girls in my dorm had played a trick on me.