- Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. Simpson: Much like Mickey Mouse, CGJ's entire face is drawn with circles. There isn't a single straight line above his neck. He completely lacks the sharp angles of OJ's jaw, cheeks or even forehead. Also, he's Cuba. Gooding. Junior. I don't wish him any ill will, but are you telling me they couldn't find a black actor with more likeness and gravitas than Cuba. Gooding. Junior?! Is Terry Crews' filming schedule for Brooklyn Nine Nine and America's Funniest Fails too demanding to let him sit silently in a courtroom for a couple hours a week?

- Sarah Paulson as prosecutor Marcia Clark (okay, okay, I see it, I see it)