January 2011

January 31, 2011

It’s been nine weeks since I last posted and in nine more weeks it will be April...where does the time go? I’ve been thinking about that a lot. Am I living my life to the fullest? What have I accomplished in that time? Have I made any changes in my life or made a difference in someone else’s life?

2010 was an incredibly difficult year for me personally. I was unemployed for the entire year. Between Shanna and me, we had 72 medical appointments (chiropractor and doctor) as we both struggled with health issues. I wanted so much to be a different me and make some changes, but didn’t have the courage and strength (physical and mental) to make them. I struggled with some relationship issues and finding boundaries for friendships that were too one-sided and unhealthy. For the first time in years, I only scrapbooked 24 pages, which is so not like me. Getting Shanna graduated and employed was a challenge but she’s on a good path now and I’m finally feeling like I’m coming back into the light. If I’m honest, I would say I was depressed for most of the year. The one relationship that really thrived was with my husband as we discovered the joy of photography through Karen Russell’s class and started dating again. We celebrated 28 years together in November and if not for Russell, I’m not sure I would have made it through the year. So what did I learn and what am I doing different?

I need to be creative. I’ve been scrapping for almost 19 years and I totally lost all my creativity, last year. I stopped scrapping and writing. Russell and I share a craft room (he model railroads and I scrapbook, make cards, etc.) and we both realized how much we need to get back into our hobbies. I am taking Ali Edwards “Yesterday and Today” class through BPC and I my creative juices are flowing again. Russell and I spent this past weekend in the craft room and I did my first digital page and have tons of page ideas to start working on.

I stopped moving and kept eating and now am starting over with my “Move More, Eat Less” (in the words of Cathy Zielske). Unfortunately, I let the fibromyalgia take over my life so it’s a battle to find what will work (as far as physical exercise that won’t create flare-ups and more pain). For now, I’m walking several days a week again and am following the PT exercises I’m supposed to do. I didn’t want to rely on prescription medication but have to admit that it’s helping to control the symptoms and pain while I work to find ways to deal with this disease in a more organic and healthy way. I’m so very thankful for a wonderful doctor and fabulous healthcare.

We have gotten to know the Marshes, a military family we met. Mentoring and getting to know a young couple is always a blessing and we have had the added bonus of standing in as “surrogate” grandparents to their three daughters - twins, age 8 and the youngest, age 4. Having these three girls in our lives has been so fun (and exhausting!). What a privilege to be a part of this family’s life and to have little ones in our home again. The girls love all things pink and glittery - so different from our baby girl who is now 18 and is the “big sister” to these little girls. Cuddles and hugs, giggles and crayons, toys and Disney movies are once again a part of our life.

I need women in my life...to laugh with, to talk and share with and to keep me accountable. Three women in particular have made a huge difference in my life: Sue, who has come over several times for lunch and scrapping therapy. Granted, I haven’t gotten much scrapping done, but the therapy has been invaluable as I’ve been able to be completely authentic with her as we’ve both shared and commiserated. Cindy has made dinner dates a wonderful thing and she too has a listening heart and a generous giving spirit and I can feel her support and prayers. Surprisingly, the third woman is someone I’ve “known” for years but only from a distance. When I went back to Colorado for my aunt’s funeral in December, I stayed with Brigette, my cousin’s daughter. She lives in a tiny adorable little house and she welcomed me into her home. For four days and nights, she was my chauffer as we went to the memorial (it was my Mom’s sister and Brigette’s Grandma). I reconnected with relatives I hadn’t seen in years. Something wonderful happened during those four days...despite our differences, Brigette and I connected in a way that was magical. We talked for hours about life, love, hopes, dreams, disappointments and I came home renewed in spirit and ready to make some life changes.

I discovered the library again. When I was little, I went to the library three times a week from first grade until I graduated. The library was a magical world of books. Somehow, through the years, I forgot about the library and found Borders and Amazon. I’m a voracious reader and read at least two to three books a week...even going to used bookstores that can get expensive so a friend suggested I try the library. Wow...it’s changed. You can now reserve books online and then pick them up when they are ready. What a fabulous discovery this has been. I’m having a blast reading books on a variety of subjects and...they’re FREE!!

Being in love and loved is such an incredible (rare) blessing. I really believe I have the best husband in the entire world. Through all of last year, Russell was my knight in shining armor and we fell in love again (corny as that sounds). He loves me just the way I am, which makes me want to be a better me for him.

I had an interview today...out of 108 candidates, I am in the top five. Every week, I faithfully apply for jobs while I receive unemployment (thank you Lord). I know that God has just the right job out there for me and in the right time and place, it will happen. In the meantime, I am thankful for a new year and the opportunity to try again. My word for the year is THRIVE. I want to thrive in body, mind and spirit. The word Thrive means: to be well, grow strongly, flourish, and be successful. So here’s to 2011 and being more mindful of the everyday miracle of life...to find joy in the little things. I also hope to post more...