We Will Demonically Manipulate You With Choreography And Song!

Confession time: I do not listen to Peter LaBarbera’s “radio show.” It is just one of those things that I, as a sane human being, have decided is not worth my time. I also believe that it’s simply not wise to absorb people like Peter LaBarbera via too many of the five senses. Sight is enough. I don’t want to hear him, and I’m fairly certain that touching, tasting or smelling him would induce retching. Besides, the guys over at Right Wing Watch listen to it, which they surely view as a mitzvah to the greater LGBT activist community.

But it seems I missed a good one, as Peter had one of his favorite hate activists, Linda Harvey, on recently to talk about [what else?] the gay menace. You will remember Linda from several months back, when after the spate of gay teen suicides, she reacted so callously, so soullessly, that you could almost smell the blood under her fingernails and between her teeth. In short, Linda cares much more about her [disproven, discredited, asinine, childish] worldview than she does about children, and gay teens rank even lower than that.

Anyway, so here’s a word problem: If one Crazy Train leaves Station A and another Crazy Train leaves Station B, and they choo-choo toward each other at ever increasing speeds, how long before they’re suggesting that Fox can turn men and boys homosexual within the space of a one hour weekly television show featuring musical numbers and witty writing? Not long. To the transcript please:

Harvey: These people are masters at demonic manipulation; I mean I have to put it that way, because that is what the homosexual agenda directed to that age group does. Kids don’t know what they’re going to turn out to be, kids can be secretly wondering and doubting if they are homosexual without a parent ever knowing. Because of A) what they get in schools, and B) what they get on the Internet.

LaBarbera: And then Hollywood, I talked about at our conference about this Glee kiss which is just, as I said at the conference, it shocked my soul. This romantic Glee kiss between two teenage boys depicted on the show, popular characters, one of the most popular if not the most popular TV show that young people watch, and here they had a romantic kiss between two teenage boys, I thought, what, how many young men and boys decided right there that they’re gay?

The Glee kiss shocked his soul! How many young men and boys decided to be gay when they saw Kurt and Blaine kissed?! I have the answer, Peter, due to the fact that I have the password to the secret online gay agenda where we report these things and “muwahahaha” to ourselves, but I’m not tellin’. But it was a lot. At least enough to fill up a Chick-Fil-A!

Anyway, I am fascinated to learn that this is because we LGBT peeps are, according to Linda, “masters at demonic manipulation.” Who knew that simply telling kids who are already starting to figure out that they’re gay that they’re okay, and that they’re not going to hell, and that they need not torture themselves throughout life [like Linda’s worldview actually proscribes] simply for who they are, is Demonic Manipulation? We are very sorry, Linda, that fewer and fewer gay kids will kill themselves for failing to live up to your pigheaded, bigoted ideal, but hopefully you will learn to live with it? Try hard.

If you want to hear the entire whack-job-a-palooza, head on over to Right Wing Watch.

If people decided to be gay over seeing two boys kiss once, I’d be straight given the hundreds of thousands of hetero kisses I’ve seen on TV and in movies (not to mention the ones I’ve read about in books). Or is it only heterosexuality that’s so unstable it can be corrupted by one TV scene?

While there is a lot to be said for mapping out the frontiers of hysterical anti-gay delirium and nailing them down in pixels, there is still some worth in distinguishing between prescription and proscription. Conceptually, proscription dates back to the death throes of the Roman Republic as a process of listing the enemies of the state for legal murder, with the estates forfeited to said state, without bothering to put them to trial. Certain Ugandan newspapers seem to see themselves as having the right to do this sort of thing even now. While Ms. Harvey might wish that her little mountain gave her the power to proscribe LGBT persons, the torture you correctly refer to is better understood as a prescription-a private little pit of hell that will occupy the lives of persons whose self determination might otherwise make it difficult for her to act upon the (well, we could say, “demonic,”) sense of entitlement with which she continues to afflict herself.

Evan HurstApril 20, 2011 at 8:15 pm -

I think it’s sort of a play on words, because, as we’ve seen when certain Evangelicals get to play in the Third World, their prescriptions turn to proscriptions very quickly. They do what they can get away with.

PhilipJApril 20, 2011 at 11:21 pm -

I agree with you, Buffy. It’s funny how one can convert to/decide on homosexuality from being hetero like flipping a light switch, as fast as snapping a finger, but it takes years and years and years of therapy and Bible study and self-denial to even fail to convert from homo to hetero.

Maybe I have a new slogan for Pete; he can use it as a threat against those who might be “converted” by a mere same-sex kiss…”once you go gay, you’ll always be that way”

GianniApril 21, 2011 at 12:19 pm -

If I was a master at demonic manipulation, these two (among others) would really have something to worry about. And who is kidding whom? Peter has kissed more than his share of boys in his lifetime. I still marvel how one makes a daily living out of this contrived fear-mongering and never do a ounce of real work?

GianniApril 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm -

“an ounce”, forgive me my poor gay typo.

GewApril 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm -

Well, we just have to love the believer and hate their beliefs… or, something.

Richard RushApril 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm -

Loony Linda and Pervy Pete swim with all the other vicious sharks in a toxic sea of magic evidence, magic reasoning, magic facts, magic truth, and magic reality. The only thing genuine about these sharks is the pain they inflict on everyone else.

Scott AmundsenApril 21, 2011 at 3:07 pm -

I have come to the conclusion that LaBarbera is nothing but a great big fat ol’ closet queen. No “straight” man would spend so much time watching gay porn unless he was getting wood out of it.

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