The deadly cobra that's been missing from the Bronx Zoo for the past five days is terrorizing a middle school! No, actually, it has been found "alive and well," according to Bronx Zoo director Jim Breheny. It was in the reptile house the whole time. That was anti-climactic.

The Bronx Zoo was closed today after an adolescent Egyptian cobra went missing from an off-exhibit…
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"The key strategy here in recovering the snake was patience," Breheny said at a press conference just a few minutes ago. "We had to give her a chance to feel secure and comfortable so she would come out and explore her environment and we could get it."

OK, new rule: Next time a cobra escapes from a zoo it needs to slither under the legs of subway riders at least once, or do something dramatic.