I feel f**king awful

I had my baby girl on the 29th of November. My partner was there for delivery and my mum was in the waiting area my mum came in after delivery and got to hold my baby for an hour then went to phone people to tell them the news and ended up falling over and breaking her leg in two places. I was in hospital for 5 days after delivery due to pre e and had no support. I'm so close to my mum abd she couldn't come see me. My partner was only allowed in visiting hours my dad is disabled and couldn't come see me without my mums help my sister doesn't Luce near by - I was so f**king alone. Baby wasn't feeding in hospital I got about 2 hours sleep a day and no one to help me I also have very low iron sand was pretty damn ill. I'm out of hospital now and tbh I feel a bit better but I still have high BP and low iron so feel like shit. I want to go look after my mum but I have a baby that is so hungry it screams all the time and I'm trying not to stress. I've had to give up breast feeding everything has gone wrong. I was preparing for the best time of my life and it has turned out to be the worst. I feel like such a f**king shut mum. I want this all to be better.

hold on in there hun, it will get better, which bit are you struggling with most, did you say your LO is constantly hungry, are you using formula if so have you spoke to you HV about trying the hungrier baby formula

Quoting Sarah Snipes:" OMG I had no idea, thats just insane. I'm sorry hunny I don't know how I would survive without my husband as my support! I wish I had something useful for you."

it really is annoying i think it depends on the hospital and staff on at the time aswell,because of the time i had my LO DH wasnt allowed on the ward just to settle me in but 10 mins later another woman was put on the ward and her DH was allowed with her, i was fuming

My husband has always been my rock and so I feel ignorant that I didnt understand I have just never heard anything like that! If I was you I would be fuming too! Maybe its all in how much of a fuss you make? I just want to come help clean your house or something OP, wish I could afford the ticket... you sound like you could use a few extra hands!

Like everyone has said though, things will get better. Lack of sleep has a lot to do with that, eventually you will find a schedule and get in the swing of things. I probably looked like a zombie even with hubby's help. (He would get up with me and one would grab diaper, the other a bottle [I couldn't keep up with baby's appetite either] and things were still crazy)

I'm struggling most with having no support - my family are all in their homes near by but can not help. My partner has ME so it's even harder for me as he gets fatigued really easily.
My midwife told me the hungry milk is proven not to be any different to first milk?
I just had a bit of a break down ladies and cried my ass off - this has made me feel a bit better. My partner and I have decided to ask to stay with one of his parents for a while for support.

hugs hun, really well i never knew that about the formula, yes that sounds like a brill idea, sorry you had a break down, i was like that with my second make sure you keep communication open with everyone about how your feeling hun, i didnt and had a huge break down in town

Mama sometimes it just helps to vent. Send me a message anytime, I can tell you stories about my first couple weeks that would have you cracking up! There is no secret manual for how this is all supposed to be done. We live, we cry, we learn, we make kick ass parents :wink:

Quoting Sarah Snipes:" Mama sometimes it just helps to vent. Send me a message anytime, I can tell you stories about my first ... [snip!] ... There is no secret manual for how this is all supposed to be done. We live, we cry, we learn, we make kick ass parents :wink:"

Thank you so much ladies. I think my problem is that I have been trying to be superwoman and cope with all of this myself but I just hit a wall with it. I feel better for posting on here and talking to my partner - I think I need to make a habit of being more open from now on as I really don't want to end up with ppd. I just can't wait for the moment that I realise everything is ok.

Oh hun don't feel bad. Having a baby is stressful enough without everything else you've had on top. Don't beat yourself up about giving up breastfeeding either, at least you tried! That's more than some people can say and that in itself deserves praise. DS is now on formula too, as long as your baby is fed and happy its no one else's buisness
I tried to cope with it all and not telling people when I needed help, I ended up with depression and I still don't remember those first few precious weeks, I only remember from about 6 weeks onwards, I was on autopilot and just like a robot. Tell people if you need help, there's no shame in that!
Hope you feel better soon and that your mum is ok!