On to Guam!!!

Circle the date on your calendar, book your flight. On May 3, Guam - which increasingly looks like the New Hampshire of the Mariana Islands - will hold its presidential primary, with nine Democratic delegates at stake.

True, that's not a lot of delegates, but every delegate counts as this point, and Guam is the first primary after the Super Tuesday III vote in Portentous Pennsylvania.

Will candidates actually go to Guam, you ask, rather than concentrate on the much larger states of Indiana and North Carolina that vote just three days later, on May 6? Obviously the answer is that they should, because the flights can stop in Hawaii for much needed R&R and big-wave surfing.

I'd also venture that the Guam contest, being located on an island, will serve as a harbinger of the too-critical-for-words mindblower of a primary on June 7 in Puerto Rico.

That will be the final showdown in this epic barnburner of a slugfest of a donnybrook. Don't scoff at Puerto Rico: It is putting 63 delegates up for grabs, which, in case you've misplaced your delegate tracker, is more than the number of delegates that were at stake in Iowa.

Or New Hampshire.

Or South Carolina.

And more than were at stake in, let's see, Connecticut, New Mexico, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Maine, Nebraska, Utah, Kansas, Idaho, Delaware, Wyoming, Rhode Island, Vermont, Kentucky, North Dakota, South Dakota, West Virginia, Montana, Arkansas, Alaska, Alabama and the District of Columbia.

So, on to Puerto Rico!

On Expedia I'm showing a non-stop leaving tomorrow from Dulles to San Juan for just $389 round-trip (return Monday) on the unfortunately named airline Ted.