MEATLOAD/MEATLOAF CUPCAKES FROM HOTSHOTS! HOLY CRAP! GET THEM THIS FRIDAY AT ANY HOTSHOTS!

POLL: WHAT DO YOU NEVER JOKE ABOUT WITH A MAN?

We asked listeners to come up with things that people should never joke about with a dude. #1 on the list with no shock was Penis size….below is the full list of things you should NEVER joke about:

Penis Size

How he is in bed- A man’s sexual prowess (performance, stamina, skills, & techniques)

His salary

His father/mother/sister – Making fun of his brother is O.K, but all other immediate family members are pretty much out.

His kids

Hair loss

His car- Even if it’s a beater, you should never make fun of a man’s car

His height (or lack of height)

His grill skills – You can always offer tips & advice, but never make fun of a man and his skills at manning the grill.

His driving skills

The condition of his lawn

His sports team – Men are passionate about few things more than there sports team.

His handywork – How well he fixes things around the house.

LET’S START OFF WITH SOME FOOD NEWS! SHOCKING!

A dude named Chicken Charlie has created DEEP FRIED KOOLAID! This dude mixes flour, water, and cherry kool-aid. He says it comes out tasting like sweet doughnut holes. That’s awesome! Check out this delicious invention!

WHO FRIGGIN CARES?!: HUGH HEFNER’S NEW GIRLFRIEND IS HIS EX FIANCES BEST FRIEND AND NOW…HE’S ALSO LETTING THIS BROAD KEEP HER $90,000 ENGAGEMENT RING AND A BENTLEY HE GAVE HER.

Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

A mom in Texas has pleaded guilty to felony charge of injury to a child. She’ll be on probation for five years, take parenting classes, and must make a $50 charity payment. Why? She spanked her kid on the butt…with her hand. Grandma noticed some red marks on the kids ass and took her to the hospital where the hospital called the cops and the woman was arrested. The judge yelled at the woman and said, “You don’t spank children today. In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but that was a different time. You don’t spank children.” REALLY?!

A young girl – who was like 5 or 6 – was found caged and attempting to eat herself in a mobile home in Virgina. The girls blond-hair was matted, filled with knots, and she only had a diaper on. She had been eating flakes of dry skin. She had been there since LAST SUMMER! The parents were arrested and cops found the body of ANOTHER child buried outside the home.

Cops in Kirkwood busted a dude who was taking pictures of women in the dressing room at a Walmart and a Plato’s Closet. He’s being held in St. Louis County Jail under $10,000 bond.

A dude in Wisconsin was arrested after telling cops he had, “the dumbest idea ever.” Guy broke into a neighbors apartment to steal quarters for laundry and decided to sneak a peek when heard the shower was running. A woman lived there and was chased out of the apartment. He was arrested. Idiot.

A dude in Cali is being held on $5.5 MILLION DOLLAR BAIL after he posed as a cop and then FONDLED girls in middle school. He told them he would have to place tracking devices inside of their bra…and he’d cop a little feel. Idiot! AND CREEPY!

Well it’s bad news for the Cardinals. It was announced yesterday that Albert Pujols has a non-displaced fracture in his forearm and will miss 4-6 weeks of action. He heads to the DL today as the Phillies are in town. First pitch is town at 7:15pm.

Last night during the Cubs/White Sox game in Chicago….Ozzie Guillen was ejected for arguing a call and hilarity ensued. He kicked the Cubs catchers mask and then went nuts. You can see the video on today’s show blog….but I love this dude. He said to the press after the game, “The ump was right, I was wrong. I could say what I really want to say but I don’t feel like paying $20,000 for no reason. So – he was right. And I was wrong.”

The Boston Bruins celebrated their ASS off in a bar in Boston a couple days ago. As a team – they racked up a bill that almost reached $160,000 dollars! A couple things to note…the fellas ordered 136 Bud Lights, 31 bottles of wine & champagne and one bottle of something called the Ace of Spades Midas which cost $100,000 bucks and weighs over 100lbs! No word on how much they left for tip.

Roger Ebert tweeted out “Friends don’t let jackasses drive drunk.” It pissed off a bunch of people..but others are agreeing with him. Perez Hilton called out Ebert….and Bam Margera went OFF on Ebert for him.

There is this dude name Doug Hutchinson…his most famous for being the A-hole prison guard on The Green Mile. He just got married….to a SIXTEEN year old. He’s FIFTY ONE YEAR! There is NO way this chick is 16 years old. NO WAY!

A dude from Indiana runs outside of his house on Sunday because his truck was on fire…that sucks. But he forgot he had something on the stove and that caught his HOUSE on fire…that REALLY SUCKS! The car was a total loss but firefighters were able to save the house.

Last week – Marie Callender’s restaurant chain went bankrupt. They are closing 65 of their locations. And on location in Seattle they need to close IMMEDIATELY! Corporate went down and told the store they needed to shut down RIGHT NOW – some customers didn’t even get to finish their meals! They didn’t even get to -go containers! WTF!

A woman from Canada went out of town and when she came back…someone STOLE HER LAWN. Literally took the grass right out from underneath her. That sucks!

Cops in Massachusetts are looking for two douchebags who stole an 8 year old boys from his families front yard. He has cerebral palsy and he can’t walk or stand. There is a new wheelchair being replaced but its gonna cost around $3,000.

A health care worker in England has been fined for leaving a bottle of toilet cleaner in the bathroom of a blind dementia patient…who drank it…and died! That sucks!

In Texas, a 90 year old dude was using some bug spray to kill some bees and thing went horribly wrong. The bees got hella pissed and started attacking the crap out of them. The old man and the wife were stung over 300 times. Both of them died. SUCKS!

A woman from Long Island ended up in the hospital with 3rd degree burns on her boobies after the under wire in the bikini got superheated and gave her burns so bad she had to have some skin REMOVED from her right breast! SUCKS!

A woman in Pittsburgh went through a drive thru ATM but the ATM didn’t give her any money. So she decided to reach her hand in the cash slot to see if it was stuck. And HER hand got stuck. Luckily she had a passenger with her that called 911 and firefighters had to come and use a small pry bar and pliers to free her.

TODAY’S HEADLINE HOOSHE COMES TO US FROM HUDSON, FLORIDA WHEREa man was arrested over the weekend as he celebrated his birthday by having what he calls, “about 10 beers too many.” 58 year old James Taylor – not the singer – says he drank around FORTY EIGHT beers one night and ended up causing quite a scene at the Hudson Beach. Cops say Taylor left the beach for a while, and when he returned he was so drunk and belligerent he scared a woman and her grandchildren. He also exposed himself, and urinated in the sand in front of children. He was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication and causing a disturbance.

GOTT GAME WITH STEVE MANBALLS MASTERS!

CHECK THE 9AM PODCAST FOR GOTTGAME WITH MASTERS. Check out his website by clicking HERE.