On this week's hydroxychloroquine-free weekly Independent comics page: The K Chronicles peers into the future from 2016; This Modern World gets some crisis-management tips from Donald Trump; Jen Sorensen wonders who's afraid of a little pandemic?; Apoca Clips heaps praise on Eric Trump; and Red Meat, with 8-year-old guest-artist Billy, wonders where the car keys went.

Of course, he did not announce which of the 53 or so counties qualify. So I checked the state’s county-variance website for updates throughout the afternoon to see if Riverside County had qualified, and I got excited when the page with the list of counties crashed for about an hour. I thought maybe it was being updated … but that was not the case. Boo!

Anyway, this afternoon, Supervisor V. Manuel Perez said in a Facebook video that he was confident the county would meet Newsom’s revised criteria. So … ready or not, here we probably go, maybe!

• Highly recommended: Fareed Zakaria’s “take” from his Sunday CNN show. He powerfully makes the case that the reopening debate has its roots in class and income. This is a must-watch—especially if you’re a college-educated person who is still employed and who has no doubts whatsoever that the reopening process is being rushed across the country.

• Yes, we really are living in the worst timeline: So the president came out today and said he’s been taking a disproven, dangerous drug to prevent COVID-19. Then the speaker of the House criticized him for doing so, in part because the president is, in her words, “morbidly obese.” Ladies and gentlemen, your federal government!

I’ve been asked several times why we don’t regularly post COVID-19 stats here in the Daily Digest, and the answer is simple: Statistics, when put in the proper context, are important and revealing. When they’re not, however … they can be confusing and misleading.

Take the total number of COVID-19 cases, for example. As of this writing, according to Riverside County, there have been 5,618 confirmed cases in the county. Since the start of April, that number has been increasing at a pretty steady pace—there have been a few peaks and valleys, sure, but overall, the pace has been pretty consistent for the last six weeks now.

So … what does this tell us? Well, it tells us SARS-CoV-2 is still a problem. But that’s about all it tells us.

One of the reasons the number has kept going up at this pace is that the county, and the medical organizations within it, have done a fine job of ramping up the amount of testing done in the county—and more tests means more positive results.

What about deaths? Alas, 242 people in Riverside County have died from the virus, according to the county. That’s 242 individuals who loved, were loved, and made some sort of a mark on our world. That number represents a lot of loss. But in terms of what the number of deaths tell us about the disease’s spread … deaths are a lagging indicator, reflecting what was happening two to six weeks ago … maybe more. Also, there’s increasing evidence a whole lot of deaths due to COVID-19 aren’t being reported properly anyway.

One of the best, most-contextual statistics out there—a number, alas, that is hard to find—is the R-naught number. It tells us how many people, on average, one person with COVID-19 is infecting in a certain place. If we keep that number below 1, progress is being made in stemming the virus’ spread. If it’s above 1, the virus’ spread is increasing. But, as the San Francisco Chronicle points out, even the R0 number has its limitations.

I’m not saying all of the stats being thrown at us by government officials or news sources should be disregarded or ignored. However, I am saying these numbers need to be looked at in the proper context—and they’re usually not.

Forgive the tortured metaphor here … but the reopening train has left the station. And I don’t think there’s anything this country can do to get it back in the station now—no matter how dire things get.

• I am holding back tears and counting my ample blessings after reading the opening paragraph of this San Francisco Chronicle piece: “More than 40 immigrants being held at the Otay Mesa Detention Center near San Diego are alleging that a detainee’s recent death due to COVID-19 was caused by reckless and inhumane conditions, according to a letter begging the governor and other California lawmakers to intervene.”

It’s often said that you can’t prove a negative. However, that’s not accurate: Mathematically, you generally can.

It is accurate, however that you can’t disprove a conspiracy theory to a conspiracy theorist. This is something I have learned, painfully, over the years during many squabbles with them.

For example, there was the guy who wanted me, while I was the editor of the Tucson Weekly, to expose how Sept. 11 was an inside job. The key piece of evidence, he said, was the fact that the World Trade Center 7 building collapsed, despite not being directly hit by a plane. So I sent him some articles, including one from Popular Mechanics, thoroughly explaining why WTC 7 collapsed.

“Well, that stuff is obviously faked,” he said.

Then there are the chemtrails people—folks who insist that the government, or maybe it’s China, who knows, but SOMEBODY is spraying us with stuff from high-flying planes to … uh, control our minds, or change the weather, or sterilize people, or something.

How do they know? You can see the trails these planes leave in the sky, man!

What other evidence do they have? None.

Of course, now the conspiracy theories are coming out around COVID-19. The most recent one comes compliments of an anti-vaxer who is claiming that all of this illness has to do with a bad flu vaccine from several years ago. Really.

So … yeah.

I would try to explain here how that conclusion is, well … unlikely. For starters, a whole lot of people with better credentials say that that’s not what caused COVID-19. But, I won’t bother.

Why? Because if you believe in a conspiracy theory, there’s nothing I can say or do to convince you otherwise.

Today’s links:

• Yesterday’s bonkers Riverside County Board of Supervisors meeting—at which supes were deciding to, and I am paraphrasing here, emphasize the “interests” of the business community over the advice of the county health officer—ended with a whole lot of nothing: The board voted 5-0 to decide things at an emergency Friday meeting instead.

• Breaking news: The county has further loosened the rules on pools at apartment complexes and in HOA-managed areas. Get the details here.

• So the president now says he won’t disband his coronavirus task force around the end of the month. Why did he change his mind? According to The New York Times, Trump said: “I thought we could wind it down sooner. But I had no idea how popular the task force is until actually yesterday, when I started talking about winding it down. I get calls from very respected people saying, ‘I think it would be better to keep it going. It’s done such a good job.’” So, uh, there ya go.

• Meanwhile, in Arizona—a state that, I will remind you, shares a border with us—the governor’s office is shutting up a team of professors at Arizona State and the University of Arizona that had been doing COVID-19 modeling. Turns out their models said reopening now—which the state is doing—was a bad idea. This move by Gov. Doug Ducey is, in a word, despicable.

That’s enough for today. Wash your hands. Be safe. Buy our Coloring Book, because it’s amazing. If you can spare a few bucks, consider becoming a Supporter of the Independent, so we can keep doing quality local journalism. We’ll be back tomorrow.

On this week's weekly Independent comics page, now offering curbside shopping service: Apoca Clips gets Li'l Trumpy's views on the Asian murder hornets; Red Meat smells suntan lotion; Jen Sorensen looks back at warnings from the future; The K Chronicles pays tribute, sort of, to the great Calvin and Hobbes; and This Modern World takes look at the fantastical dreams of Donald J. Trump.

Today was one of those days where I sat at my desk all day, and was busy all day … and then all of a sudden, it was the early evening, and my to-do list was just as long as it had been first thing this morning.

I was going to tell you my harrowing and baffling story of trying to navigate the federal small-business loan process, but that’ll have to wait until later this week. In the meantime, strap yourselves in for news from this completely not normal Cinco de Mayo:

• The county supervisors’ meeting today—at which supervisors are considering rescinding county health orders that go further than the state’s orders—has been something of a debacle. As of this writing, it’s still going on.

• As reported in this space yesterday: The county is opening two new testing sites in the valley—one in Mecca, and one in DHS. KESQ has the details.

• To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Dr. Rick Bright—the just-fired head of the federal office charged with developing a COVID-19 virus—has filed a whistleblower complaint, claiming the Trump administration ignored his warnings about the virus.

• Here’s not a link to a story, but a site with all sorts of great stories: The Appeal is a fantastic news source for criminal-justice issues, and it’s been doing fantastic coverage of the complete mess the coronavirus has caused in our nation’s prisons. Check it out for yourself.

• Big news item No. 4: The continuing debate over Riverside County supervisors’ possible move tomorrow to cancel the orders of its own health officer, in favor of aligning with the weaker state orders. Earlier today, local supervisor V. Manuel Perez released a Facebook video in which he explained his thinking. I listened to all 37-plus minutes of it, and as far as I can tell, he is leaning toward rescinding some of Dr. Cameron Kaiser’s orders (on school closures, for example), and keeping at least parts of others (on face coverings and short-term rentals). He also announced the county would be opening two new testing sites in our valley—in Mecca and Desert Hot Springs—and touched on plans for the county to mobilize 200 contact-tracers. After listening to the whole thing, I now need another cocktail.

• This just in: The Coachella Valley Economic Partnership just released a report on the economic damage being wrought locally by the pandemic. I haven’t had a chance to read the whole thing yet, but, well, the news is pretty terrible. Read the report yourself here.

On this week's stir-crazy, slightly sweaty weekly Independent comics page: Jen Sorensen offers some helpful tips on dealing with outdoors social-distancing scenarios; The K Chronicles finally finds a plausible conspiracy theory; This Modern World explains how hard it is to be a satirical cartoonist during these fascinating times; Apoca Clips talks to Li'l Trumpy about the now-famous Lysol debacle; and Red Meat gets ready for summer camp.

I decided I was hungry. I walked past a bunch of people and went into the kitchen. I opened the freezer, and a frozen-pot-pie box fell out; it skidded across the floor and came to rest under a bar stool. I jokingly chided my friend who was sitting on the stool about being a terrible goalie.

I retrieved the pot pie and put it back. I pondered heating up a frozen pizza but decided against it, and instead went over to talk to some friends who were standing in front of the stove. Brad Fuhr was biting into a slice of another pizza that he’d apparently just pulled out of the oven. He started to say something—and one of the slices on the plate he was holding fell on the floor. We laughed, and as he began to clean up the mess, I started talking to another friend, Daniel, about an NFL player, recently in the news, who we both thought was attractive.

The conversation was suddenly interrupted by the sound of my iPhone alarm.

I woke up, confused at first, as the dinner-party dream had been so vivid. Soon, however, reality set in. The party and the amazing time I was having—neither were real. And they won’t be real again for quite some time.

I sighed, got up, and headed toward my real kitchen to make coffee. I paused briefly, but did not stop, as I passed our bottles of liquor. Somewhere down the line, there will be real parties again, after all, and I want to be functional for those. And besides, I had work to do.