Thoughts from the yoga mat life

March 7, 2016April 1, 2016

Figuring out the yoga industry

OK, so I’m working on getting more informed on the yoga industry, ’cause let’s face it, the minute we buy a mat, we’re participating, and if I’m going to teach, I might as well get the lay of the land. So far it’s been a mixed bag of philosophical conversations, loopy musings, scholarly analysis, sales tag lines, and off the wall how-does-this-shit-help-with-inner-peace products.

Maybe it’s me. I really should have smoked pot in college (I went to UT for the love of God!) or at least dropped some X in the 90’s (I fear the law, so that ship has sailed). Here’s a small sample of real headlines that prompt WTF thoughts for me:

Yoga Joes Are Here to Keep the Inner Peace (These are little green toy soldiers, helmets, grenade belts and all, in yoga poses. So… is the line now Om, Joe? Do they all salute and yell Om, sir! Are they allowed to do Warrior poses?)

Rubio Offering Fake #DumpTrump Yoga Pants (Yeah, I don’t want to see a squatting body with the word “dump” on it… or “Trump,” for that matter. And I’m disturbed by the fact that these are fake pants. Does that mean there’s an actual registered brand for this out there? I’d investigate, but I refuse to click on political porn.)

Stay Strong to Avoid Yoga Butt (Who knew it was a problem? And one you have to resist lest you relapse.)

Yoga-Butt Syndrome (Apparently it is in fact a serious problem that has it’s own diagnosis and everything.)

Are Yoga Pants Threatening the American Tradition of Denim? (Today is the first day I’ve ever thought of my pants as threatening.)

After all that surfing, I’ve also concluded that I really need to start watching regular TV more often. I’m a devout Netflixer, Red Boxer and lover of other no-damn-commercials streaming options, so I don’t recognize at least half of the names on every celebrity yoga list I’ve run into so far. Not that this nonsense matters much, but it would be nice to at least know what the other teachers at the sacred, organic, purified water cooler are talking about.

The yoga teaching world is as wonderfully varied as the people that comprise it, but people cluster. It’s only natural. And I’ll be as interested and surprised as anybody to see where I find my niche. I just hope it doesn’t involve teenage mutant yoga turtles or the like, but you never know.