Sunday, June 12, 2011

Planning a wedding, even a small or low-key affair, is not for the faint of heart. Implementing those plans shouldn't be a solo gig.

That's why wedding planners and consultants are so popular. How nice to make the choices and know that someone else is in charge of making them happen!

But what's even better is having wonderful friends who help to make things run smoothly.

We don't have a whole lot of extended family coming to the wedding. My mom isn't around to advise me or help me on the wedding day. But we are so blessed to have amazing friends who are giving of their time, talents and energy to make the wedding possible.

We couldn't have accomplished half of what we have without the advice, encouragement and ideas of these beloved women who haven't hesitated to pitch in, to commit to important jobs on the day itself and/or to keeping me sane by listening to me and allowing me to bounce ideas off them.

I am so grateful to ALL of you--you know who you are!!!

A few years ago I wrote blog post called Those Who Choose. I'm going to reprint it below because it is just as if not more applicable today.

In the past few years, I have learned so many lessons. . .literally hard-learned ones! And don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for them, even if I didn’t know at the time I would be.

One of the hardest lessons has been learning about those who choose. It is sweet, and it is painful.

When my dad first got sick, back when he was first diagnosed with multiple myeloma, we had all sorts of friends and family rally around us. There were meals delivered, cards sent, offers of help. And we were grateful and appreciative. And then. . .life went on. My dad came home from the hospital, and all of our lives fell into what became the normal pattern.

Fast forward five years: my dad started needing hospitalization more and more frequently, until finally, in May, he went into the hospital and never came home. It was a long six weeks of trips to and from the hospital, followed by the blur of grief. When my mother was diagnosed with acute lymphatic leukemia two months later, it seemed more than we could bear.

Apparently, it WAS more than some people could bear. We realized as the months went on that we heard from fewer and fewer people.

But that is not who I want to talk about. I want to talk about those who choose. Because those who chose to hang on with us, those who chose to call each week, those who listened when we cried or whined. . .those are the people whom I will always treasure as my nearest and dearest. Turns out blood isn’t thicker than water, but love is stronger than obligation.

Those who choose could have stopped calling or writing after my mom died. They could have decided that since we moved south, or since it was really my parents with whom they were friends, or since we really didn’t “need” them anymore, they could back away.

But they didn’t. They called. They wrote. They listened. They advised. They visited! And most of all, they loved. They chose to love, even when it was painful or less than convenient.

I have been so remiss about updating my blogs. . hmm, I wonder why? Could it be that the month before a wedding is really as crazy as everyone has warned me?

Well, yes and no. The truth is that we have been running around and doing wedding related stuff many days, but we've also been having fun! The month of May and early June meant that Devyn was finished school but not yet working full-time during the weekdays yet. So we took advantage of that time to go to the beach, to Disney World, take day trips and just generally have fun.

It's kept us sane, I think. We might talk flowers and music as we drive, but we're still doing something that is not necessarily related to the big day.

So where do we stand at this point, less than a week before the wedding?

We're actually doing really well. Everything that needs to fall into place has, and if it hasn't, we've decided it's not that important and we've dropped it. There is incredible freedom in remembering that no one element is going to make or break that day.

Someone said to me a few weeks ago, "I hope that day is absolutely perfect." And it struck me that this is a completely unreasonable wish. It's not going to be perfect in the sense that everything will go precisely as we've planned. What will make it perfect is a sense of humor and reasonable expectations.

So that's what we're aiming for at this point. We're looking forward to a day celebrating love, commitment and family.

In the nitty gritty details, the dresses are all ready, the accessories are set, the parties are planned and the flowers are ordered. We're doing fun stuff like labeling water bottles (yes, really) and setting up a wedding gift display (old school!).

Stay tuned--I'll try to update all week, even if briefly, and keep you posted on all the fun! If you're getting ready to head to Orlando, we can't wait to see you. Be safe and get ready for a good time.