Wednesday, May 31, 2006

i got the best head massage i've ever had this afternoon...before kelly (this chic who happens to be quite cute btw) cut my hair. eddie started with a gentle yet firm kneading of my temples, then proceeded to massage the edges of my ever-receding hairline, after which, he started scratching my scalp with his fingers...sending a strange and almost orgasmic tingling sensation down my spine. the finale was a strong and splendid neck massage as he washed off the remainder of the fragrant shampoo that he used...wow...

please hor...i'm not gay. nor bi-sexual. but somehow the wash was one of the most wonderful experiences i've had in a long while...maybe kelly should learn from eddie instead of the other way around...hehe.

but then again...maybe i'm just a loser who likes head massages. haha. cheers. =)

happy birthday steve...i hope all 29 candles that you blew out tonight gave you your wish. =)

anyway, i wanna complain about the new wala's band on sundays...or should i say, the new wala's singer on sundays...he should be shot. what's with all the axel rose impersonations??? i bet there were a lot of disappointed customers tonight...eic is gone for at least another 3 months...jack's somewhere in the states trying to better his skills as a musician...which i think the new guy should also attend...

just cuz you can scream doesn't mean that you can pull off gnr...btw, did you not notice a whole horde of people leaving cuz:

1. you couldn't sing the requested song2. you sounded constipated 3. you sounded like a cat in heat

you even forced my friends and i to down our drinks so that we wouldn't be subjected to any more of your torture...we practically ran out. i'm gonna need to find another watering hole on sundays if this continues...in fact, if i were dick lee, i'd show you the door in an instant...

have you ever had a friend in need? have you ever known someone who's been down in the dumps? a person who needs to talk to people and not feel like everyone's against him? do you have buddies coming up to you with problems that can only be solved with alcohol???

i've been drinking for the last two nights already...take care bro. i love you, but my liver's kinda important as well lah. haha. but you're priority of course. cheers. =)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

i once had a friend called emril. now he's called emrilthemanslut. emril would not have been emrilthemanslut if he hadn't disturbed me on my date the other night by bringing his whole troupe of friends to my table at wala's...

just kidding lah, emrilthebitch. i know you prefer emrilthemanslut, but hey...this is my blog and i can write whatever i want...git your own damn writing space if you wanna complain! muahahaha.

ANYWAY, before i make things worse...let me tell you people something about emril. emril's the most eligible malay bachelor i know...or should i be saying DR. emril (soon to be at least). he's handsome, he drives a beaming maroon bmw that kicks ass, he's not too bad at football (hehe), and last but not least of all, i know that i said i once had a friend called emril, but now he's known as bestfrenem...

happy birthday abang! cheers. =)

(p.s. - applicants to be ms. bestfrenem can email me...there will be no service charge for a promotional period of one week. warning: he has high standards. hahaha.)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

for the first time in literally years, i met up with one of my ex-girlfriends, ct, for dinner today at the sun with moon restaurant (wheelock place)...

*moby and ct exchange usual pleasantries...blah blah blah...*ct: so how have you changed since you left nus?moby: hmmm...i think i've grown more hard. i used to be able to trust people before i started work and...ct: what makes you think that people could trust YOU last time???moby: err...ohhhkaaayyy...i'm sorry that i hurt you? haha.ct: ok...continue...moby: hmmm...nowadays i'm also more independent cuz at work...ct: to make up for the times when other people were dependent on you???moby: err...ohhhkaaayyy...i'm sorry that i hurt you? haha.ct: ok...what else?moby: i've learned not to argue with lawyers?ct: har har...but that didn't stop you from going out with them in bulk last time, did it???moby: err...ohhhkaaayyy...i'm sorry that i hurt you? haha.ct: ok...some more?moby: well...i'm also fatter?ct: you're right about one thing! hahaha.moby: fine. =| ct: hahaha...no lah, i'm just kidding...you look better now! really!moby: i sense sarcasm. =| ct: hahaha...seriously!moby: yeah right...and lawyers don't lie. hahahaha.ct: =| moby: hehehe.

i'm really sincerely sorry that i hurt you...but you more than got your revenge by giving me a heart attack with the reckless driving while sending me home just now...female lawyers with cars are road hazards with tongues to match. haha.

thanks for the ride anyway...it was fun for the short while that it lasted. haha. cheers. =)

*note: i foresee a lot of unhappy female advocates & solicitors out there just waiting to slam / scream at me...but what the hell, so what's new? been there, done that. haha.*

Monday, May 22, 2006

he / she was very hush-hush about the whole operation...normally 007 would at least leave an encrypted phone mail message (which would self-destruct in 5 seconds) for me...but this time, i had to call all the other owners of "private numbers" that i knew to find out what the whole damn covert mission was about...and not to mention, which freaking agent called me.

in the end, the undercover mole was so reluctant to betray his / her intentions that i still don't know who the fuck has the intelligence here.

yellow. i'm back from batam. how was my sales retreat you ask? i liken it to a massive drinking party, or rather, an alcohol retreat...for a few of us at least. haha.

day 1 started out at tanah merah ferry terminal and 2 bottles of duty free absolut (one peach and one mandarin). we only just managed to resist the temptation to start the mixing on the ferry cuz most of us watched the champions league match the night before...and besides, it was still only 11am. this resistance came to it's futile end when we reached batam, unpacked, and went down for lunch. half of the absolut mandarin disguised in 2 evian bottles became our best friends during our group discussions throughout the afternoon and evening.

night 1 came, and after finishing the "mineral water", we managed to find a hotel bar / disco...beer is fucking cheap in batam. $10 / monster jug. needless to say, we had our fill of tiger and heineken for the night...which ended at 430am.

day 2 started off slightly better than day 1 (in that we didn't start drinking till late) cuz most of us were nursing either a splitting headache or bruising on various body parts due to unknown causes. i was part of the latter group, with a huge bump on the top of my head and another blue-black on my left hip. i vaguely remember it had something to do with my bathtub. anyway, let's just say that we were all hungover from night 1.

we struggled through around 9 hours of presentations from 9am onwards, before mr. thirst started knocking on our doors. again, the vodkas were put into the water bottles, brought down for dinner, and secretly mixed with the soft drinks at our table (the secrecy cuz the hotel would charge corkage if we poured our own alcohol openly). dinner came and went...before our ceo announced that he would be singing a song (as requested by the general public) downstairs at the hotel bar / disco, which we were all too familiar with...drinks were on the company...which meant, hehe...aiyah, you know lah...430am again lah. =)

day 3 also began slightly better than the other two days...mainly cuz we could sleep in...but the alcohol influx didn't stop yet. we still had about half a bottle of absolut peach and 6 cans of duty-free heineken. 3 cans were finished at the hotel lobby while waiting for our transport to come...2 more cans were finished on the bus to the ferry terminal...and the last can was thrown away by my colleague who didn't think that wasting good beer was a sin. the ride back to singapore was spent at the open area on top of the ferry, despite the rain...which made the peach vodka all the more useful...we were all pretty happy when we reached singapore...for various reasons obviously...haha.

what an end to the retreat. we should have more of these trips lah boss.

cheers. =)

(p.s. - i only bought 1 chivas and 1 red wine from duty free...no more beer / vodka for a while. haha.)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

singapore has a lot of beautiful women...i know cuz i see them on the streets almost every single day, and i meet one or two every once or twice in a lifetime...but then there are those who deserve to be bitched about...

i was walking along shenton way today, checking out the good people passing by...when suddenly, out of no where, this chic cuts right in front of me, shoots me this ooo-i'm-so-sexy-look, and with a flip of her rebonded hair, sashays off like naomi claudia evangelista without even a glance back (though i could have sworn she was checking from the reflections on the buildings to see if i was watching her). she could have made right said fred faint.

now don't get me wrong...this happens a lot to guys, and i know you girls get a kick from the attention...but this chic should have been splashing waves with shamu the killer whale at sea world instead of haunting the ways of shenton. i kid you not. i wish this on no other man / beast-other-than-whales. =

know your assets and flaunt them...if you don't have any, go for a swim, bitch.

ok...enough bitching for now...cheers. =)

(p.s. - i'm going off to batam, the god-forsaken-island, for a company sales "retreat"...note the ""...3 days 2 nights with people i already spend 5 out of 7 days in a week with. i pray for my sanity and liver functionality. you should too. haha. cheers.)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

when i was young, i loved yo-yos...remember those things? i used to have a few of them cuz i thought that they were damn fucking cool. i even knew how to "walk the dog"...which took a hell of a lot of practice i must add...

and then, as suddenly as they shot to prominence, yo-yos went out of fashion when i was in the 6th grade...playing violas and winning girls' hearts became more important to me...hehe. but check this out:

cool guy...hehe. i bet he's got chics spinning around and up and down just waiting for his yo-yo. haha. respect to you, yo-yo man. cheers. =)

Monday, May 15, 2006

*moby's house*0700hrs: moby wakes up from his beautiful slumber by the sound of his alarm clock0715hrs: moby really wakes up after 3 snooze buttons0725hrs: moby finishes quick shower, irons clothes0745hrs: moby steps out of his house with a bounce in his step

*side gate of moby's estate*0800hrs: moby sees 2 couples in front of him in taxi queue0805hrs: moby sick of waiting for taxis so starts to call for a booking

*side gate of moby's estate*0807hrsmoby's mobile phone: "thank you for calling comfort cablink...all our operators are busy at the moment...your call is important to us...please hold for assistance..."moby: cheebye. important kilan lah...

*side gate of moby's estate*0835hrsohmygod lousy operator (olo): do you need a cab now mr. moby?moby: yeah lah!olo: where are you now, sir?moby: what??? i have been waiting for the stupid speed-call thingy that i automatically get transferred to when i dial your number to get me a cab at my estate, and you're telling me that you still don't know where the hell i am after freaking 25 minutes???olo: err...is it...err...moby's estate?moby: yes!!! now can i get a taxi???olo: where are you headed off to sir?moby: moby's office.olo: please hold for your taxi number...moby: argh!!!!!! sigh...

*comfort cablink office*0836hrsccb: what should we do, sir?sob: keep moby on for as long as you can...the seconds will tick away so that we can charge him for the extra time that he's using our line...just imagine what those extra 20 cents per minute could do for your bonus!ccb: but, but...sob: no buts about it! your ass will be on the line if you screw this up! no puns intended.ccb: wah lan eh...

0847hrscomfort taxi cab driver: where to boss?moby: moby's office please...*moby's mobile phone rings*moby: hello?moby's mobile phone: hello, is this moby? i'm ccb from comfort cablink operations division, staff number 53490...moby: what you want?moby's mobile phone: i didn't mean to hurt you!!! just when i thought i was out, they pulled me back in!!!moby: you had me at hello. *hangs up*

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

buttered and lightly salted golden droplets of corn, crispy freshly cut slices of guava covered with a delightfully sweet and tangy concoction of powdered sour plums, and a banana leaf fire-roasted to perfection encompassing a savoury mixture of fish and herbs (otah lah)...my palate was satisfied at the clementi pasar malam just now...hehe.

i was chatting with a friend (the sister of another blogger that i know)...and cuz i saw that her nick on msn was something like "pack pack pack"...

moby: where you going off to?sister of blogger (sob): moved out of hall... =) but don't know whether i should be happy about that though...moby: fwah...i was actually quite heart-broken when i left the hall...

which was quite true...after staying for so damn long in one place, after knowing everyone from the head chef of both the malay AND chinese food sections, to the pizza delivery boy, to the toilet cleaners in the hall...it does get kinda heart-wrenching when you have to leave all that. but i guess life is really all about adjusting to change.

i almost nearly cried when i packed the last bit of old stuffed toys from ex-gfs, inter-hall games medals and other useless nonsense from my room...it was all very emotional to me. but now that i look back, i realise that it was good that i was able to step out and move onto the next stage in my life.

may your transitions in life be as smooth as can be, diana...cheers. =)

Friday, May 05, 2006

i've had many complaints that the first one made people sick. too bad. live with it. hahaha. don't say i never warn you hor. hehe.

btw, this new video is pretty long...it took 40 minutes just to save the damn thing to my hard disk on microsoft movie maker...and another 20 minutes to upload it on youtube.com...sorry lah, got too much shit to share already...and i'm too fucking tired from work to edit anything, which is why i took the easy way out and fast forwarded everything.

once again, take some pills first before watching...and don't eat before you click play. haha.

and that ends day 1...i'll try to conjure up some more time to do up the other videos properly...please forgive me...i know not what i do.

another friendsky has been added! check out goon (aka adrian) and his food blog...

goon used to be my so-called roommate back in raffles hall. i say "so-called roommate" cuz he only moved in with me to escape his horror-filmlike-chinaman-ex-roommate...and also cuz i happened to be staying in my ex-girlfriend's room most of the time, which effectively provided him with a single-double room.

goon is one of the good guys. welcome aboard sailor! keep us in the loop on the food happenings!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

apologies for keeping you people waiting for the videos and stuff of my roadtrip...but wait no longer...it's here. due to the large amount of crap that i filmed on the trip, i have to split it into a few episodes...so here's part i...

note: look out for cambo jo and me singing to "carrie" by europe on the way...hehe. btw, you might wanna take some sea sickness pills if you intend to watch this more than once...trust me.