Pages

2.11.2013

Over at NoelMignon, we play a fun game that is like the scrapbooking version of "telephone." We start with one layout as inspiration, then we create a layout from it, then send it on to the next person, and so on and so forth.

When it was my turn (several months ago), I decided to do my first page about my dad. I haven't been able to creatively mourn him... it's been too painful. For some reason, this particular night, I was able to do it. Grief is a long, slow process.

The journaling reads, "Ariana, you loved your Papa. You attached yourself to him unlike any of the other kids. As soon as you could talk, you would wander around Gigi's, calling 'Papaaaa!' when he would leave the room. I think it kind of shocked him that you loved him so much. I know someday soon, you will forget him. So I promise, I will remember him for you."

The months after Dad died, Ariana would talk about him. A lot. She tells me still, "I miss my Papa. I need to hug him. He's with my Jesus." It is a comfort to my wounded heart to grieve together with her. It amazes me that in her short little life (she was only 2 when he died) that she is still able to remember him. I'm so thankful for that little grace in her life... and in mine.

I have been waiting for a layout dedicated to your father. I hear these same words when my sister in law talks about her sister to her children. Tess was only 4 and Paige was 3 months old. Tess is now 10 and still talks about Aunt Leah and it's because Jennifer has kept Leah alive in her memories. 2 birthdays ago, Jennifer gave Tess Leah's old sewing machine because Tess showed an interest in it. Every so often when I visit them I see the little kids playing with one of Miller and Mallory's baby toys (those were Leah's children). At Brandon's birthday party last month my 3 year old niece Anna was wearing a pair of Mallory's shoes. So many small and sweet ways Leah and her family are still a part of their lives. I have watched you and Jennifer grieve with an amount of grace and raw emotion that in some way only the holy spirit can provide, it helps me know your Dad more and it helps me know Leah more. And by knowing them I see God. Love you V. Thanks for opening your heart.