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“It's a fun game, but does it have to be so damn painful?”~ Oscar Wilde on wrist straps

Super Smash Bros. Brawl is a fighting game to be released for the Nintendo Wii at some point in the near future. Using the motion sensor on the controller, the player scores points by actually bashing their younger siblings over the head with it. Successfully hospitalizing your opponent is rumored to unlock a bonus stage. Killing your opponent unlocks access to the Juvenile Hall level.

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Super Smash Bros. Brawl offers a number of weapons to use, although most must be unlocked by either playing through the game with the crappy weapons, or buying them for approximately $599 (US dollars) each.

The Wiimote (For those who don't speak Portmanteau, that's Wii Remote) is the most basic weapon in the game. While relatively weak, it has a number of uses. You can use it to club, stab, or even throw at your opponent. Some prefer to dual-wield two Wiimotes.

By attaching the Nunchaku to the Wiimote, the player gains access to the Numchuk arrangement. The Nunchuk does doublehalf[1]double[2]half[3] double[4] damage against Pirates, and also looks cool. Detractors claim that the long cord make it unwieldy for use as Numchaku, but proponents insist that this is because only Ninjas can effectively use Numchucks.

Sadly, these aren't in the game. You could still use them to render your opponent weakened or knock him unconsious or something. Then just hit him with a controller so the motion sensor registers your hits.