How iPhone X Inferiority Is Imagined

How do you make your living? Are you in sales? Are you an information worker? Retired? Some people make their living by fabricating information. Let’s call them imaginary workers.

Some would say Forbes’ Gordon Kelly imagines what he writes because he’s one of those who seems to just make up stuff. Think fake news. Or, tweets. Or, anything about Apple. It’s not even Friday but definitely time to begin some slice and dice heroics.

Alternate Facts

Forbes once was a wonderful magazine about the financial world. Today, it is little more than a shell company of a once proud heritage, a publication where both paper and facts appear in short supply.

Gordon Kelly:

I write about technology’s biggest companies

Translation: I make up stuff for payment

Here’s an example:

iPhone 9 has emerged as Apple’s most exciting new smartphone of 2018.

Except we don’t know the new iPhone’s name yet because it hasn’t beeen introduced so has it really emerged? But, true, whatever it is, it’s likely to be Apple’s most exciting new smartphone of the year. Also, the dullest and most boring. It just depends.

Unfortunately, the world’s most acclaimed iPhone insider has now revealed it contains several significant shortcomings…

Yes, that certainly is unfortunate. Unfortunate for facts because none are in evidence. Your Honor, can we just say, “It may contain several significant shortcomings… or, perhaps none at all. You be the judge, Your Honor.”

Famously accurate analyst Ming-Chi Kuo has revealed the iPhone 9 (which I predict to simply be called ‘iPhone’) will actually amount to a lot less than the ‘affordable iPhone X’ hype many reports have claimed.

Translation: My fake facts are heretofore connected to all other fake facts… but better and in more plentiful supply.

Kelly decided to pick on the new iPhone with an LCD display– still not a fact in evidence– as a serious, but less expensive iPhone problem with lesser display resolution, and a lesser price tag (another fact not yet in evidence), and a Questionable Battery.

That’s just wrong. Unquestionably, the aforementioned iPhone will have a battery. Or, maybe it will be, 1) solar powered, or, 2) sweat powered, but definitely not with a questionable battery. It will have a battery.

Now, remember, this is Kelly taking a spin around town on someone else’s rumor mill, and doing so with a license to spread falsities (which is different than spread falsies; but you get the idea, right?). Supposedly, this lame iPhone model won’t have the same high speed WiFi as its OLED brethren, or the multiple rear cameras, but it will have a pox.

A rumored pox.

Regarding famous analyst Ming-Chi Kuo’s tea readings on all things Apple and iPhone, all is neither gloom nor doom.

Kuo does stress one part of the iPhone 9 which is likely to win out over any shortcomings: the price.

Oh the humanity!

A device with a lower price tag does not have all the same features as a more expensive device? What has become of the technology industry?

Despite all this doom and gloom, however, Kuo does stress one part of the iPhone 9 which is likely to win out over any shortcomings: the price.

What? How can that be? What is wrong with Apple? Why can’t they ship a new iPhone with more features than iPhone XI for less than the price of an iPhone SE?

It is possible, Todd.

Given the iPhone X and iPhone X Plus will also ship with several limitations of their own, I suspect Kuo might be right. Again.

Limitations?

Yes, no anti-gravity screen, no solar year battery life, and no 200-percent trade-in value. And Apple calls itself a technology leader.

Meh.

Who you gonna trust these days? 1) facts, 2) your lying eyes, 3) Apple, or, 4) a Forbes Contributor with the byline ‘Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own.’?

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About Wil Gomez

I live in Brooklyn, New York and work in Manhattan; a Mac owner for almost 25 years, and an IT specialist on mixed platforms-- Mac, Windows, and Linux. Read more of my articles here. My fiancée is semi-famous Kate MacKenzie. Follow her on PixoBebo.