Contemplating the Essence of Collections

2011 -
04.27

Any time I lose an eBay auction I always wonder what the other guy’s maximum bid was.

I have an old fan in my bedroom that I’ve owned since college and it’s been used… heavily. It no longer oscillates and for a time, the rotation would rev up and slow down, like it was huffing and chuffing just to keep spinning. Somehow it’s straightened itself out, but last week the front blade-guard fell off. I could maybe repair it, but I already repaired it once a couple years back and honestly, I think this is maybe just a sign that it’s time for something new.

Out in my garage, I’ve got an antique Westinghouse fan that I refurbished several years ago. It’s a tank, and looks like it was built in the 1950s (that’s it on the left). Accordingly it still runs excellent, but it is something of a safety hazard since you can stick your hand right through the grille. So I dig stylish fans. I’m not obsessive or a collector of them (yet?) but I appreciate the cool ones. (yuk yuk!)

I get on eBay and sort through the junk piles until I find one that kind of excites me. It’s made by this company called “Kuo Horng”, which turns up very few relevant search results if you google it. One of the relevant results that does turn up, however, is a forum post on a fan collecting forum (ok, here we go!). It’s a positively ridiculous thread, with some dude posting a mind-boggling amount of pictures of his VERY VERY VERY extensive fan collection. Good grief! When I realized how long the list went on, I literally burst out laughing. Part of me thinks it’s really funny that someone would go to this length to collect all these fans. Another part of me is like, damn… this is AWESOME!

Enthusiasm is contagious and even without talking to these people, you can tell that they are all about this shit. It’s cool just to check out their endless lists of obscure fans they collected with neat retro stylings. Which brings me back to this fan I was interested in: it’s a Kuo Horng model KH-603 16″ oscillating desk fan (that’s it on the right). I learned that the buttons used to select your speed are called “piano keys” when they are built in this style; just like… piano keys! Neat! I was a little put off by the price so I slept on it. The next morning, I decided screw it, I love how this thing looks, I’m going to bid. Usually I compulsively watch the end of eBay auctions, but for whatever reason, I snoozed on this one. And I got outbid! The nerve! I was sort of surprised by my own reaction. Turns out I really wanted that fan. I clicked on the guy who won the auction and saw this:

Pfft, it figures. Every single auction he’s been involved in for the last several weeks concerns fans. Outbid by a collector. I guess that just means I have good taste. Out of curiosity, I went digging around the web for more pictures of these fans and stumbled upon another set of pictures (by the same guy as above!) that showed the whole insane collection. Just look at this, it’s absolute madness:

And that’s only part of it. Incidentally, I think he’s got the fan I was bidding on–3rd one right of center. And again, on one hand I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of this compulsive desire to collect every model, every color of … DESK FAN. Then on the other hand, I look at my model railroading hobby and say, well, really, you’re not so different than this guy. Admittedly, my collection of trains is not nearly a fraction as epic or outlandish as this gathering of fans, but given enough years, something tells me I will approach the same asymptote.

But, just… damn! LOOK at that. I wonder how many of those have funny or perplexing stories about how he obtained them? I wonder how he got into this hobby of fan-collecting in the first place? I wonder if all his friends think he’s crazy or if he has like a core group of homies who come over every 2nd thursday of the month and they go back into this room and just cheeze the F out over this stuff**? I wonder if he keeps this room a secret from people until they really get to know him? It’s an obtuse behavior, sure, but really, I think lots of people have something similar to this that they “geek out” over. More socially acceptable hobbies that approach or exceed this level of fanaticism would be pro sports, cars, MMOs, role playing, Otaku, quiltmaking, model trains, etc etc. Just under the banner of “pro sports” alone, there’s probably thousands of flavors to choose from with an incomprehensible number of stats, names, and associated minutia to memorize.

I find it fascinating that people get so deep into these seemingly random, tangential hobbies of collecting stuff like this. And by ‘fascinating’, I mean ‘I secretly want to join their ranks. maybe.’ I leave you with what we in the know call piano keys. Feeling the lust? Maybe you need a fan to cool you off. ;)

**Addendum #2: My friend mister NineTenthsShavinPowda describes 100% perfectly what kind of conversation goes on in the secret fan collector lair: “Ha. I literally burst out loud picturing a bunch of fan-fans ‘cheezing’ out in this guys room. “OOHHHH damn niggaahh you got the 1977 Ultra Rare Prototype GE 13″ fan!” “Hell yeah bitches I esniped the fuck outta dat and then I modded it with the blades from the euro-only 1984 model to give it 12% more CFM, and added the silent basket from the 64 model to reduce the noise bro!” “SHIIIIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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19 Responses to “Contemplating the Essence of Collections”

You were banned as a matter of fact when you, yourself, offered to pay for our forum upgrade in its entirety in exchange for an admin position on the new board, allowing you to ban off members you don’t deem good enough for the forum…when your offer was declined, you sent off a message full of negative/defamatory comments, for which you were in fact banned. If you can’t keep these simple facts straight then you’ll be laughed out of a courtroom. I keep trying to close the chapter of Zachary vs Perrey but you never seem to be done writing it.

Lemme first say that I, as well, am a fan collector, and the link you posted here to the thread at VCF, which features the collection of Perrey Z., is not normal…the majority of fan collectors keep their collections under control, have some on display in their homes, the rest in some form of organized storage, and enjoy trading with other collectors. I myself mainly collect ceiling fans (who woulda guessed, right? But I am far from alone)…I have over 200, one installed in every room in the house (including hallways, bathrooms, laundry), in my other house as well…and depending on who it is, I also might be prone to lend them out…the rest are in my storage unit…like any collection you can have a lot of fun with it and make a lot of money, if you know what you’re doing (and don’t let it get out of hand…of course ;) ) but also it actually relates back to find memories…alot of fan collectors (and collectors of other things I’m sure) go after items they remember from the past that they associate with good times. Anyway, we’re all basically good guys, I always enjoy meeting other fan collectors in person, and, for the most part, we’re not hoarders with more money than brains :P
I invite anyone who’s more curious about the hobby to check us out at DT Vintage Fans: http://www.dtvintagefans.org/forum/forum.php

Spreading your hateful message across the web ah Zachary? Why don’t you just admit that my collection is just awesome and limit yourself to control everyone who post at DT . I like to thank you for providing me with WRITTEN proof I can take to my lawyer and officially get your sorry ass for defamation of character. I have been awaiting for this opportunity for a very long time and I’m finally gonna nail your sorry ass.

the guy who has all those table fans name is perrey z,it’s somebody i don’t deal with,he’s not a jerk but he just acts like one in my opinion and the best part is,perrey got banned from dt vintage fans forums(it’s the truth,just ask zachary y),and perrey can’t take any fans away from me,PLEASE keep perrey in yall’s Prayers please

Stop pretending your are all Christian. We all know you’re crazier that a Republican on Drugs. FYI I never got banned from DT, I decided to leave when Zachary, Duane and the rest of the musketeers wanted ME to give them money for their new website when the old one kept crashing all the time. The four send Brian to sweeten the deal for me to provide financial support and when I told him that I will be more than happy to provide financial assistance in exchange for being a moderator they say no. And I told them No the money donation. Zachary and Duane make sure I wouldn’t tell anyone by monitoring the forum for 72-hrs straight. Talk about being crazy like a motherfucker obcessed with a pathetic forum that they treat like a religion. But since we are in the subject of getting banned, Let’s talk about you getting banned after you kiss Zachary’s ass every single day? I left DT. They banned you from DT., HUGE DIFFERENCE. Do the world a HUGE favor man, and take your Prozac or whatever the hell you take to keep that cray cray under control.

Ha. I literally burst out loud picturing a bunch of fan-fans ‘cheezing’ out in this guys room. “OOHHHH damn niggaahh you got the 1977 Ultra Rare Prototype GE 13″ fan!” “Hell yeah bitches I esniped the fuck outta dat and then I modded it with the blades from the euro-only 1984 model to give it 12% more CFM, and added the silent basket from the 64 model to reduce the noise bro!” “SHIIIIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I’d like to believe that is, EXACTLY VERBATIM, the conversation that goes on in that back room filled to the ceiling with fans. Matter of fact, that sums it up so perfectly, I’m going to addendum that comment onto the original post so that everyone sees it.