I was a bit concerned when I read the headline. After all, that's a full 14mph over Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo" speed, and nobody knows for sure how the body of a Fred will react once it reaches Sammy Hagar territory. Will the woo-hoos continue? Will they give way to screams of terror? Will the Fred simply break apart like the space shuttle Challenger?

At this point, we can only speculate.

However, my initial concerns were immediately allayed when I read the article and learned that the inventor, Jim Wing, is a "life long martial artist" who "has only been a cyclist for one year."

Of course he is.

Anyway, here is the Air Spear in action, stalking the recreational path in search of Rollerbladers to impale like pieces of lamb on a kebab:

As a result of training with the Air Spear, Wing states he has “noticed the bike is incredibly fast,” noting, “I don’t create nearly as much wind resistance as when I rode without the Spear.” The above video documents Wings first “shake down” ride with the Spear leading the charge. Due to its relatively flat and straight course, Wing anticipates setting a course record at New Jersey’s City-To-Shore Century in September.

Of course he does.

[Expect Darren Aronofsky to direct Mickey Rourke in "The Fred," the story of Wing's life.]

Anyway, if I were Wing I'd also throw on a pair of Null Winds for good measure. Sure, you remember Null Winds, the glorified skirt guards that will somehow defy the laws of physics and make your bicycle "noticeably faster at any speed:"

I think Cat 2 bicycle racer Jason Shutz's Strava-addled mind somehow fused the old riddle about which is faster, a pound of lead or a pound of feathers, with Ralph Nader's Unsafe At Any Speed, while simultaneously failing to understand them both.

And if nothing else, musclebound Freds traveling at 60mph with spears affixed to their cockpits should be more than enough to give Dorothy Rabinowitz night terrors for the rest of her life:

(That's not a night terror, that's Dorothy Rabinowitz.)

Hopefully Wing manages to keep the rubber side down during his brave attempt to absolutely decimate the field at a century ride in New Jersey, though if the unthinkable should happen he should take care not to land on his helment because a "leading neurosurgeon" says the damn things are useless:

Henry Marsh, who works at St George’s Hospital in Tooting, London, said that many of his patients who have been involved in bike accidents have been wearing helmets that were ‘too flimsy’ to be beneficial.He made the comments while speaking at the Hay Festival during a discussion with Ian McEwan, whose 2005 novel Saturday featured a neurosurgeon.
"Bullshit!" countered McEwan, who asserts that his writing helment saved his life when a vase fell on his head as he was midway through his acclaimed 2001 novel, Atonement.

Dr. Marsh was not rattled by the writer's retort:

He cited evidence from the University of Bath that suggests that wearing a helmet may even put cyclists at greater risk. The research showed that drivers get around 3 inches closer to cyclists who wear helmets because they perceive them as safer.

I don't dispute the part about drivers getting closer to cyclists in helments, but I suspect it's less about drivers perceiving them as "safer" and more about drivers thinking that they're "asking for it" with those "tight shorts" and those "little foam hats"--or, as Keith Maddox puts it:

Hey, don't be so hard on poor Keith. After all, he can't "heppit." (Whatever the hell "heppit" means.)

Then Dr. Marsh really let it fly when he called Australia stupid:

He said: “I ride a bike and I never wear a helmet. In the countries where bike helmets are compulsory there has been no reduction in bike injuries whatsoever.

Yeah, I know he didn't literally call Australia stupid, but we all know that's what he meant.

And finally:

“I see lots of people in bike accidents and these flimsy little helmets don’t help.”

I teared up a bit, I'm not going to lie. There's something emotionally stirring about a doctor who whips it out and micturates all over years of plastic hat propaganda.

Well, okay, actually that wasn't the end of Dr. Marsh's talk. I just wish he'd stopped there, because it was a perfect ending. Unfortunately though, he kept going, revealing that he rides around town in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, thereby casting aspersions on the validity of his claims and raising the possibility that he is in fact completely insane:Mr Marsh said that he had been riding his bike for 40 years, wearing a cowboy hat, and had only fallen off once.“I have been cycling for 40 years and have only been knocked off once. I wear a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. I look completely mad."

What, no chaps?

As for only falling off his bike once in 40 years, that's easily attributed to his unique cross-training technique:

Nothing hones your bike-handling skillz like an hour or two a week on a mechanical bull, and I predict that by late summer "Bicycling" will be telling you to do this before cyclocross season.

But as distressed as I was by Dr. Marsh's urban cowboy disclosure, he at least redeemed himself somewhat with this:

Marsh, who retires in March, also admitted jumping red lights to get ahead of the traffic.“It’s my life at risk,” he said, ‘So I regularly cross over red lights.”

Of course, if you do choose to wear a helment (my personal guideline is if I'm putting on Lycra I wear a helment--you know, because bad things only happen when you're wearing Lycra), you should at least make sure you put it on correctly--not because it's the difference between life and death, but because it's the difference between looking silly and looking really silly:

I tried to tell you something while you were biking - w4w (Prospect Park)You: Blonde, wearing jorts, biking.Me: Brunette, biking, talking to you.I saw you bike by me today and I tried to tell you something, but alas. I failed. In case you read this, I will tell you now. You either had your bike helmet on backwards or your face is on the wrong side of your head and your head faces in the wrong direction. If it's the former, I suggest you turn your helmet around the next time you wear it. You won't regret it! Biking will be so much more comfortable and the helmet will be more effective. If it's the latter then I see that you might be in a pickle. I think I would turn the helmet around. It will better serve to protect you until modern science comes up with a corrective surgery to put all of your head parts in the right place.Good luck!

My guess is it's the latter, and the poster simply happened upon a character from "The Lego Movie."

I am stoked for one of these Freds to reinvents the recumbent. They'll find out recumbents already existed and say Those damn dirty apes, it was recumbent all along! Its a conspiracy! All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

Oh yeah I have a question.I passed many freds with aerobars on my last epic ride and more than a few had a rod or something sticking up vertically from the handlebar area. Is it a scale so they know how low they are?Or is it used to keep their fredcycle straight and true? Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Even brain surgeons don't seem to understand that anecdotes are not evidence. Here's an anecdote: I once fell directly on my head at significant, if not at Fred w.h. speed, and cracked my helmet wide open, and walked away - a little nonplussed and shaky, but walking. I do not claim that this proves anything at all. It totally cancels out the surgeon's anecdotes though, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe cowboy hats give you brains and balls cancer. Are you wearing the hat because you're stupid, or vice versa?

Oh yeah - the vertical rod on the aerobars is an antenna relaying instructions from a huge cloaked/shielded brick-shaped satellite operated by that company that claims not to be evil but totally is. This is why Freds do many of the cryptic, inexplicable things they do.

One time I hit my head on a steel beam holding up the stairway under which I parked my bike. Since I was just done riding and only two steps from my bike I had not yet removed my helment. I would have had an epic cartoon sized knot if not for my styrofoam hat.

I ride a 106x11 gear, and my bike had a cow-catcher on the front. I have to be hauled with a tow rope behind a pickup truck until about 30 mph, but I can get up to about 58 mph during the local charity ride.

In other words, I am unimpressed. In fact, according to captcha, I am "much nagular."

Tooting is in South London. St. George's Hospital is part of a medical school. Their claim to fame: They have the skin of Blossom the cow in a plexiglass case displayed in their library. The milkmaid Sarah Nelms contracted cow pox from Blossom. Edward Jenner concocted a vaccine, which he administered to a little boy. The little boy did not die of small pox when he was later exposed. However there were other problems with the jenner vaccine

@Balls...Don't you love looking at horrible builds? Sometimes I go into Wal Mart or Target just to look at really bad bike builds and laugh, and then advise anyone I see that the bikes are all wrong and your chilluns will surely die.

You would think a nerdo surgeon with 40+ years of cycle bike riding would know how to put on a helment so that it protected his noggin. According to the picture, obviously he doesn't. I guess he doesn't want to mess up that wavy hair. Doofus. Helments are ALWAYS necessary, like the Wildcat Rock Machine, I only helment up when in lycra. Mr. Muscle Man....just ride your damn bike! Record shattering means nothing if you have to cheat to do it. Use those leg muscles and pedal faster.

I spent my last month of medical school (march 1981) at St. George's. I brought my 10 speed from home & rode all over London. In April I bought panniers, took a train to plymouth and a bus to tavistock to begin a bike tour back to london. Among the highlights were 2 nights in tavistock after a freak artic storm snowed me in, and later staying in Lyme Regis because I was too tired to ride up the hill to leave. I found out after I got back home about all the books and movies set there.

I hope Jim Wing is an attentive rider. If he's on a rough road and doesn't see a pothole and sticks his front wheel into it, the air spear will become a head spear. But since he's been riding for a whole year, all that experience should serve him well.

If he's reaching Sammy Hagar territory, he should reach it in style with "I Can Drive 55!" (http://mandelics.com/55) for smarting phones. As he achieves woo-hoo-hoo-hoo speed, he'll be going 16 percent slower than Sammy couldn't go, so he'll hear the famous song at .84 speed. It'll only get faster as he accelerates.

whatever, i'm just glad to see the fodder i sent to you actually go to good use.

and i'm not a rocket surgeon, but will that spear thing potentially work like an aero plain wing at 60mph and he'll potentially start flying toward the moon like Elliot and E.T.? or will he simply go back in time?

Hey Nike Snob, apparently America's yarmulke is leading the charge with country folk taking potshots at random cyclists:http://bc.ctvnews.ca/burnaby-cyclist-shot-randomly-during-b-c-road-cycling-event-1.1847960

btw...i've never descended at 60...i hit 48 mph on the hill leaving my house & that's plenty woo hoo for me (getting home after a long ride is another story)...but if I wanted to descend at 60, I sure wouldn't do it with wings wing in friont of me...hit a bump, catch some air & it's all over speedboat flip

FCK all of you sniveling rat faced little weasels. I refuse to be browbeaten by a bunch of cowardly pusillanimous little pipsqueaks whose only claim to anything is that they can ride a bicycle well. All of you timid little keyboard warriors know exactly what I look like and know exactly what I ride. If any of you happen to see me out and about…ride up next to me tap me on the shoulder and tell me to my face, slowly and clearly so there is no mistaking it, exactly what you said online about me. (Chuckles as he sips his coffee)…I don’t think any of you will because that is the nature of bullies…you cowardly little scumbags look for easy victims to attack… Show some balls for once in your insecure timid lives…tell me to my face.

i've hit above 60 on a hill. and yes, it was fast. i was going that speed for only a brief moment i'm sure (my computer tells me the highest speed i hit - i certainly wasn't checking the speedo as it were in the moment. i was paying some serious attention to the road).

anyway, good luck to the duder if he wants to hit 60. i mean, i prefer a top end run in a fast car but if that is his cup of asian herbed tea (it says he's also good at kung fu..) then fine.

for someone so good at kung fu though he seems a little angry. i thought kung fu masters were always like chilled out, monk types,no?

a real fred watches the max speed readout during a descent on a twisty road,...we have all fallen short of true fred-dom and can only hope to lick the silicone-grease-encrusted speedplays of the masters

One thing I've learned today is that Jim Wing is a manly man's man with an extra helping of masculinity on top.

And I *don't* mean to imply that he is a bottom.

Because one has to wonder about someone who thinks homophobic slurs are the height of clever riposte in this day and age. Besides the lunkhead-throwback nature of it, it speaks to a certain insecurity in that area.

I topped fifty on Saturday; on the hoods, with 36 spoke box section rims, on a non-aero bicycle. Been over sixty a couple times and that is scary fast. All it takes is a steep enough grade and a favorable wind.

Looks like Mr Wings has a much better frontal area to mass ratio than my tall skinny climber's build so I'll bet 60mph downhill should be easy. But if he doesn't do something stupid like attach a guillotine to his bars how will he get noticed?

It's all relative. Never been near 60, but 49 mph on a curvy hill I wasn't familiar with on 23Cs felt 100 times more dangerous than 48 on a straight downhill on 2" slicks. Regularly go Brompton-woo-hoo speed which is only 40 mph.

As many people pointed out on BikeRumor, the pointy design will only work into a direct headwind. Get even a little off center and the bars will get pushed further off. The slightest wobble in the front end gets multiplied, and soon there's Jim Wing smeared all across the road. Not good. The zzzipper is much better idea.

You all have Jim Wings all wrong. That attachment is a satellite dish so he can watch Game of Thrones and Wrestlemania (the classics) while bike cycling at woohoo speeds. He likes to watch it real slowly (sips coffee).

Jim Wing mentions trying to break a course record in the City to Shore ride. The only two such events I know of in the Philadelphia area are to benefit the American Cancer Society and raise money to battle M.S.

These are social, fund-raiser events - what "course record" is he talking about?!!

Marshy didn't call just me stupid, he called New Zealand, (which is the South Pacific's Canada) and The United Arab Emirates, (which is apparently a real place) stupid as well.

We three are the axis of mandatory helment laws leading by example. In my case for the past 25 years I've been inspiring the entire world to follow my example and save themselves from certain death. Any day now thousands of countries will legislate for mandatory helment wearing by cyclists of all ages, at all times, in all places. Any day now.

And my Prime Minister is a Fred!! He rides a Hillbrick, (a local frame maker) always wears a helment and he's not at all stupid;

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c3IaKVmkXuk

And then there's the eloquent, gracious and thoroughly charming Roads Minister for my State of New South Wales, neither is he a blithering idiot, fuckwit, moron, shithead;

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EbvYkATHYMQ

One day you'll all see sense and adopt mandatory helment laws or all die or go insane like Marshy and start riding in cowboy gear.

I would just like to compliment and curse the author for including references to both "I Can't Drive 55," a.k.a. "Love Theme From Roille Figners Tuesday Afternoon Repetitive Mental Torment pt. 1" and "Hell Bent For Leather," a.k.a. "Mental Torment Theme (Reprise)"

Babs is no doubt enjoying hefty anesthesia at this moment and pleasant dreams in which dogs whisper wishes of wellness while diverting attention from troubles with singing, dancing, and musical accompaniment.

My dog wishes to note that you may recognize the experience as "Friday night" -- at least the hefty anesthesia part. I have no idea what he means by that.

(Whoa, check out the canine karaoke chorus in the corner. I can't believe no else mentioned it yet. You know, a tophat and tails makes anyone look good.)

On Sunday with the freds on the vet ride I totally destroyed the lazer helium and my shoulder but I stayed conscious. Last time I came to in the hospital. Helmets aren't all bad.

listen. you gots to pay attention in this drivel. Every nuanced word. But if you say you got up at 6:30 to read this thing, you get a pass and we assign your demerit to snobs for Jimis Wingies like reckless endangerment.

Speaking of going fast on bikes and crushing helmets and junk I want to dork out and say I am excited about some sprint finishings of the TDF. I have seen some killer catches. Andre Greipal hit a parked car. The Ivan Drago lookin dude is also fast and sexy. And Peta's boobie jockey is also got serious form.

Wing barks and snarls about cyclists and cyber-bullies, but ignores the fact that anyone who visited his site and scrolled down to his May 16 post (long before his debut on bike rumor) wherein he threatens cyclists for not doing to help him with his mechanical issue. Right after he brags of carrying enough tools to fix anything. And after noting that half of them did stop. Does this guy curse the birth of every car driver who passes him when he is changing a tire on the side of the freeway? Probably, he comes off as roid-raging shitbag.

There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Both boys and girls feel the impact of just a moment’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.Lijit.comCommunity.intuit.comPixarcarsdiecast.com

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!