Yesterday,
Gabrielle Union wed her fiancé/boyfriend of five years Dwyane Wade in front of family and friends. Prepare yourself for the barrage of headlines about Union's Union or how Wade Wed.

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The ceremony was intimate, but star studded with friends including Ludacris, Kevin Hart, a bunch of NBA players and John Legend, who performed at the ceremony. Because I suppose celebrities getting John Legend to perform at their weddings is the wedding cliché equivalent of normal people having a DJ play John Legend at their normal people weddings. Aw!

Union wore a Dennis Basso gown and Wade wore his "personally designed Wedding Collection bow tie." All the lady guests were asked to wear white and all the men, black—they provided all the men at the ceremony with a custom bow tie. Which is pretty awesome. Also this:

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The couple set up a 1930s era juke joint for party guests, serving Vanilla Puddin' Chardonnay as the official white wine for the wedding.

Vanilla Puddin' Chardonnay sounds kinda gross (if taken literally) and more like what they would serve at Harley Quinn's marriage to the Joker (lol never gonna happen), but uh, cuuuuute. [
People/Bella Naija]

Oh gosh. Oh yikes. Oh golly.
Calum Hood (the bassist/cute one) from 5 Seconds of Summer got caught Snapchatting a dick video (because dick pics aren't fucking awful enough), so that's now a thing. Yep, Calum (18) sent a fan a video of himself neck down, pulling his boner out. And the fan filmed this because OF COURSE, IT'S THE FUCKING INTERNET AGE. So, like any other teen rock star whose junk makes it big online, he took to Twitter to directly address it.

Welp. There's the world's most boring and uncomfortable NSFW video at the jump if you want. [
Perez Hilton]

Joan Rivers is on life support. Apparently Melissa is in denial about it. :( [NYDN]

Speaking of Bieber, Gloria Allred is representing a couple who say Bieber tried to grab at their cellphone when they took pictures of him at a Dave and Busters. What. [TMZ]

LOL Mark Wahlberg posted a video to Instagram wishing Donnie and Jenny McCarthy a hearty congratulations on their wedding. I love this. "Sorry we couldn't be there." No you're not, Mark. [TMZ]

Listen, I don't do Riff Raff. But he got mad at Sam Smith for cutting him out of a picture from the VMAs and called him a "CHUBBY LiTTLE FUCK FACTORY" on Twitter. Best case scenario, it's an inside joke between the two of them. Worst case scenario, it's Riff Raff. [Spin]