Russian orphans look out an orphanage window at a departing adoptive family.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

A Mustard Seed for Tonya

Karina at home, now 18

A true-blue friend of our program asked recently about Tonya,
a girl her daughter Karina recalled from her orphanage days.In the years since Karina had been home,
she’d thought about Tonya many times, dreamed about her even, left behind at an
orphanage Karina knew too well.Karina
thought Tonya had been on a previous Lighthouse Project trip to America, though
I doubted that, since I could recall no child by the name she offered.

Two days shy of her 15th birthday, official word
arrived that Tonya was still orphaned, and waiting.While I held out little hope of an
eleventh-hour match, I wouldn’t say no to our friend.As Karina and her mom started praying and
sharing, imploring fellow church members to cry to the Lord for Tonya, I began
to wonder if a family might yet find her.

Having heard the girl’s name only as a nickname for Tatyana,
I was surprised to discover when her documents arrived that Tonya’s real name
was Antonina.Nothing at all in her
background inspired confidence, but as I shared her story with our friend, she
remained unfazed.Karina was “storming the
gates of Heaven,” she assured, as if finding a family was as easy as praying
with sufficient faith.

Tonya, 15

A week later I revisited Tonya’s documents, staring at her
name and pondering its rarity.After
years of work with Russian kids, my only previous encounter with the name
Antonina was when an eight-year-old traveled to Michigan in 2006, back when our
program still brought children to America.Mulling this, I calculated: A girl eight then could be a teenager 15 in
late 2012.Finally a question gripped
me.Could Karina’s friend have languished
since the 2006 trip? Tonya’s current photo, grainy and stern, provided few clues,
as despite having coordinated that long-ago program, I’d hardly even seen the
young Antonina.

Ages ago, our director Hope had asked me to coordinate that
Michigan trip.Desperately committed as
I was to the Lighthouse Project, the idea was ridiculous, as we expected any
day the call for court in Russia to adopt our own kids.Hope never takes no easily, though, and she badgered me until I acquiesced just to
silence her. I did my duty, finding host
families for the kids, but as I’d feared, the children arrived and departed the
U.S. during the 26 days we stayed in Russia. I might never have seen the Lighthouse
children at all but for our last morning in Moscow, while at the airport waiting
to fly home we saw the kids returning from America.Waving to them through the glass, in that
scant moment I glimpsed Antonina.

Antonina, 8

During our just-home blur of adjustment, I heard little about
the trip which had transpired in my absence, except that Antonina was among
those who’d found no family. Never having met her, forgetting her was painless
enough; while she crossed my mind occasionally, she never prompted action.Finally, I moved on.

And on. And on, until six years passed.

Tweet below to help Tonya find her family!

Karina, too, had been home awhile before she felt God’s
gentle nudge to tell her mom about the girl she’d met when they were both young
enough to be in the baby house together. Karina, three years older, left the
baby house first, but their paths kept merging as they were shuffled around to
various orphanages.When Karina returned
from her own Lighthouse Project trip in 2008 with a Bible, she pored over its
pages, reading its words of life aloud to Tonya, who sometimes asked questions.
But once Karina was adopted, thoughts of Tonya ceased for two full years.

Now on the phone Karina was stressing to me the urgency, sensing
Tonya’s danger. “The orphanage is not a safe place,” she insisted, adding Tonya
has no family with whom to build a relationship, and does not know the Lord. She
opined with great certitude that Tonya’s new parents would “love her very
much,” as that had been her experience with her own adoptive family.

Love's new photo of Tonya, taken in mid-September

Moved by Karina’s entreaties, a couple decided to join our
upcoming November trip to meet Tonya. But the next morning bore crushing news
that after umpteen years in an orphanage, Tonya had been snatched for foster
care the previous day.Sixteenth birthdays mark
the beginning of a downward spiral for most kids in foster care: government
checks stop arriving for foster families, the families stop “caring,” and
children become ineligible for international adoption. When I called my friend,
devastated, she shrugged the news off, since she’d warned Karina numerous times
to expect trials throughout the process. Calling this only the first of several
obstacles the Lord would eventually remove, she urged me to persevere and
expect Tonya’s release from foster care before the trip.

The next few weeks were punctuated with the downs and ups
our friend predicted. Tonya’s hosts changed their minds and decided not to travel in November. Then our Russian coordinator Love visited the
region, finding the girl in the orphanage, not foster care.Better photos secured, Love returned bubbling
with the news that Karina’s Tonya was
our Antonina from Michigan 2006. Having suffered in a wretched orphanage, courting
a sordid future had not our program's dearest friend intervened, Tonya retained
hope of a family.

Karina, exulting in her new life, heart brimming with
compassion, wrestles mightily in prayer for Tonya’s welfare and soul.“God wants her here for a reason,” she told
me earnestly. “Other people are praying about her. I think it will go well.” Thus
believing, Karina shamed me with her grand vision of Tonya yet reveling in the love
of new parents.

Tonya, Antonina that is, has been alone forever. Time
dwindles dangerously, but an erstwhile orphan clinging to faith the size of a mustard seed prays in steadfast expectation that this mountain will move a
smidgeon.

Move just enough to let her oldest friend be as blessed as
she has been.

He [Jesus] said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you
have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move
from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20, English Standard Version)

You can visit Tonya in Russia November 9-16, 2012, with our welcoming group of American travelers. She would love a chance at a family! Is God calling you? Call Becky! You can reach her at (616) 245-3216. Time is of the essence.

Alexa, Tonya has a waiting family; unfortunately, she is now caught up in the Russian adoption ban. We're praying this ban ends soon, as she'll be 16 in just over four months, at which time she'll no longer be able to enter the U.S. on an orphan's immigrant visa. Please join us in praying!

Haley, I am sad to say Tonya is still in Russia, and will remain there, as she is now 16 and unable to enter the United States on an orphan's immigrant visa due to the Russian adoption ban. Please pray for her and her future in Russia.

Visit Older Orphans and Bring a Special Delivery of Hope to Eastern Europe

The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project's trips take you to spellbinding Eastern Europe, where you'll stay with our friendly group of Americans at a country retreat, host the orphan of your choosing, and decide whether or not to pursue a child's adoption. Travelers not interested in adoption are welcome to join us, too; it comforts and encourages the children! Single boys, girls, and sibling groups are available. The Lighthouse Project arranges all in country transportation, lodging, meals, sightseeing, and culturally appropriate activities. For details, contact Becky De Nooy at (616) 245-3216.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. --Mark Twain

Video: Saving Russia's Orphans: The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project

About Me

My name is Becky De Nooy. I am blessed with six children from three countries: Guatemala, China, and Russia. While homeschooling takes much of my time, I love orphan ministry. From 2004 until Russia shut down to adoption by Americans in 2012, I worked with the Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project, a true highlight of my very blessed life. With the Lighthouse Project, I coordinated 22 trips bringing 179 older Russian orphans to visit potential adoptive families, resulting in the adoptions of 80 children.
When Russian work became impossible, I had time to adopt a fifth child, a visually impaired girl from China, who opened my eyes to the desperation of orphans with special needs. Since her homecoming, I adopted a second blind child, and I have become passionate about helping children like them meet their forever families. For information on adopting or parenting children with visual impairments, or for information on any child highlighted here, please call me at (616) 245-3216, or email me at toospecialkids@yahoo.com.