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Saturday, January 31, 2009

Decisions scare me. Not just the big ones, because even deciding what to order when eating out is a little nerve-wracking. However, some decisions aren't so bad. Like going on for more schooling. That wasn't such a hard decision to make. Eating M&M's at 8 in the morning-also not a hard decision. Yet over the past few days, I've been dwelling on another decision, almost constantly. As a girl, I have naturally explored almost every possibility, the outcomes, talked it over with Tyler, etc. I'm slightly exhausted from thinking about it...so now I'll turn it over to you. Think about your response wisely, because I will consider it! :)

I will have my second degree in August - I have a BS in BioChem and will get a second one in the field of Medical Laboratory Science (I can be a researcher, work in hospitals, etc) in only a year total. Tyler has taken the last year off of school to put me through, obviously to minimize the use of student loans (I'm terrified of the word 'loan' and the reprocussions it may bring). So, the next logical steps are as follows:

1. Tyler goes back to school to finish up

2. I work

OR

1. Tyler goes back to school

2. I go get my Master's (both at the same time)

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Facing the Facts:

-I don't really need a master's degree for my field, because if I got one, I'd have to keep going to get a PhD and I don't have plans for that.

-I really don't want to work for the rest of my life

-I think the only reason I want a Master's is to be able to say I have one. Some of my friends from HS have gone on to get them, and because I can't stop comparing myself to everyone around me, I feel pressure (just from inside) and that results in feeling "not-good-enough" beacuse I don't have that title. How lame is that? Well, I know its lame, but its true nonetheless.

-It might take another year to year-and-a-half to get the Masters and I want to start a family, but also desire work experience. Hm.

-What if I racked up a lot of student loans while getting my Master's and then got prego? (This is the scenario that Tyler brought up and because of all of the $$ involved, I couldn't think about this one for long.)

-I have begun to realize that Ty and I are in this together and I feel that I would like to focus on him, his schooling, and ultimately the future of our family (based around his goals, aspirations, etc) instead of me. This may make me sound self-centered, but its honestly something innocent I've started noticing about my insides, and how I'd like to be better.

-Ty has worked for a long time; shouldn't it be my turn?

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In the end, the decision won't be made for another few months and I'm sure Tyler and I will continue this discussion frequently. There are so many perspectives that we've dreamed up, that I haven't typed, and ones that I'm sure you can think of too! However, I think that the perspectives from our close friends offers unseen wisdom, guidance, and ultimately free counseling. So respond away - What route would you take if this were you? And your family? :)

9 comments:

Hey Love! I don't think anyone can really help answer your question for you and Tyler-- but what we CAN say is that You're not only an incredibly smart woman, but you also have a knack for truths-- the kinds you can only feel in your heart, and you're someone who won't make a decision without consulting the Lord and that's why I'm honestly not worried about you!! Whatever you choose, it'll be right for you and Tyler and if there's ANYTHING I've learned about life... it's never ever too late to choose another path-- so really, you're never Locked into anything you don't want to be!

Krista, just one more thing: one of the reasons I love you so much is because you are unique... you have lived a pretty amazing life (especially in comparison to a lot of girls around here!) but not only that, you are very close to the Savior... That'll get you Far.

Oh, Kris, I LOVE you right back!!! We lab girls gotta stick together (even though you were technically WAY COOLER than a lab girl... more like my boss!) I will definitly move to SLC for you!!!! Thanks for your numbers (i have a feeling you'll be regretting this!! heheh!) but here's mine too: 208-372-0213!!! call ANYTIME YOU NEED ANYTHING!!!

just quit it all and get government help...thats the BEST way! :) jk...ya know, i think every couple has situs similar...if you will always regret not getting the masters, go for it, but if it were ME, i'd be FULLY satisfied with my BA. :) it's prob more urgernt for whoever will be the soul-provider to do school! go with what is right though! :)

This is the perspective of another east coast girl :) This is a big decision. I also want to get my masters some day but I have decided that would be something I would do later when my kids are more grown. I look at the cost and say ouch. I don't want to be paying off loans for the next 5 years. I think Tyler should finish up his degree and you can support him by working. Besides if you work for a while you can save some money for your masters someday. This will be beneficial in the long run.

Take a break. Just let Ty finish school. Then come back and see how you feel about it. It is never too late to get your masters. My mom just finished getting hers last year. If there is no reason to get a masters in your field other than to say "look at me I have my masters" then just let Ty get his degree. Work in your field for a bit. Live a little. When Ty is done, come back to it and see how you feel.

You are an over-achiever by nature, but you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. We all know you are a fabulous, brilliant, and amazing woman. You will continue to be such with or without your masters.

that is a big decision. if it were me i would be happy with the bachelors, but you're not me. for me, starting a family was the thing i wanted most, i never wanted a masters really. but don't go off what i would do because i'm not you. you just asked what we would do and i know it's good to get other people's perspectives. you can always go back and get your masters at some point. i would say get tyler going on his education since he's going to be the main provider for your family. then you can always go back. but like one of these comments said, go to the Lord. he knows what is best for you and he knows your heart and what you want and i truly believe he takes that into consideration! good luck deciding!

I am in no position to give any sort of advice, but one thing that this girl said in my mission prep class I took before I got engaged has always resonated with me. She said that even if she didn't go on a mission she would be able to teach her sons to go on missions, she would teach them what to do and how to be. It reminds me of what you said, you want to start a family in the future, and you can teach your kids whatever you want! You'll be google!

My wife is teaching me how to work this blog stuff. Let's hook up before Lindsay and I move to Austin, TX here in May. Krista - in response to your dilemma I only can share 2 thoughts - the first is the general truth that Lord will guide you and the second is what Lindsay and I have experienced. Lindsay graduated as an RN, worked for 1 and a 1/2 years and we now have a baby boy. I now see the situation like this: Lindsay is the CEO of the eternal company, Neeley Inc. I go out everyday in search of funding to make this the most important organization functional.

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"Are we not the framers of our own destiny? Are we not the arbitrators of our fate? . . . It is our privilege to determine our own exaltation or degradation; it is our privilege to determine our own happiness or misery in the world to come."John Taylor

"We have committed the Golden Rule to memory; now let us commit it to life."