MONTREAL - Stephen Harper has resurrected Royal and, to the delight of Canada’s three dozen monarchists, is reattaching the adjective to institutions, like the navy, from which it had been dropped back in the good old days when we were an independent country.

Peter Mansbridge, the gold standard among news-savvy television anchors, gushed like a schoolgirl during CBC coverage of Queen’s Jubilee celebrations.

Anglophilia is abroad in the land, and what’s a broad to do but squeeze herself into a vintage Mary Quant miniskirt and go with the flow?

And what’s a guy to do but back England at the UEFA Euro 2012 tournament?

Of course, this sentiment is expressed at one’s peril in certain precincts of our fair city.

England gets plenty of vocal support at the Burgundy Lion on Notre Dame St. W. and at Kelly’s Pub in Pointe Claire. But a cross of St. George is to be displayed with discretion in the sports bars of the upper Main.

The demographics of the ’hood have fans in that part of the Plateau favouring Portugal and its star player, gifted whining sucky-baby Cristiano Ronaldo. And farther north on St. Laurent Blvd. lies Little Italy, which is solid Azzurri territory and thereby home to the ape-spit hysteria that reminds us sang-froid and stiff upper lips are qualities of the French and English, respectively.

England won’t be facing Portugal or Italy when it plays its final game of the preliminary round on Tuesday. The opponent is co-host Ukraine, and if England can avoid defeat, it will move on to the quarter-finals against mighty Spain.

England is emerging as the tournament’s sentimental favourite. The country that is considered the birthplace of football (as most of the world calls the sport) has not won a major international competition since the 1966 World Cup.

Looking ahead to that final, a British journalist wrote (or a British broadcaster said; you hear varying attributions) the best game prediction EVER:

“If, on the morrow, the Germans defeat us at our national sport, be not dismayed. For twice in this century, we’ve defeated them at theirs.”

England beat West Germany 4-2 at Wembley Stadium in London. That was a year before the last time the words “Toronto Maple Leafs” were engraved on the Stanley Cup.

Since then, as they don’t say on Coronation Street: Bupkes, nada, zilch, rien de rien. No World Cups, and no European championships for England since the tournament began in 1968.

It’s been a long drought, filled with controversy and no little heartache.

England’s frustration is compounded by the fact its domestic league is, by general consensus, the world’s best. The Premiership draws primo talent from all over the world, which means British fans are treated to the brilliance of players such as Cristiano Ronaldo, when he was at Manchester United, Thierry Henry, Robin van Persie, David Silva, Didier Drogba, Luis Suarez … the list goes on, and contains precious few Britons.

Wayne Rooney, returning from a two-game suspension to start against Ukraine, is a world-class talent, as was Man U alumnus David Beckham. Beyond Rooney and perhaps goalkeeper Joe Hart, there’s no one playing for England at Euro 2012 who could crack the starting lineup of a powerhouse like Spain.

But they’re playing well for newly hired manager Roy Hodgson. There’s some emerging young talent: Theo Walcott, Danny Welbeck, Andy Carroll and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who won’t be 19 until August.

Team captain Steven Gerrard, my man from Liverpool, can still be effective if his aching body holds up. Other 30-somethings primed for a last hurrah include John Terry, Ashley Cole and Scott Parker.

England benefits from not bearing the weight of great expectations, having established long-term residency in bleak house. Just advancing to the quarter-finals is an accomplishment; anything beyond is gravy, and a championship would astonish everyone – including the players.

First step is avoiding a loss to Ukraine. For those able to cite allegiance to the British crown as an excuse to punch out early – tell the boss Stephen Harper says it’s OK – the game is on TSN at 2:45 p.m. Playing to similar sentiment for the mother country among its own viewers, RDS will be telecasting the Group D match between France and Sweden.

Ink-stained invective: Should England contrive to crash out against Ukraine, the British press will set the vitriol level to 11 and have a fine old time ripping the team into bleeding hunks of flesh to be tossed to readers at tea time.

For now, fans of ink-stained invective will have to content themselves with translations, furnished by The Guardian, of reaction in the Netherlands to the dismal three-loss record of a pre-tournament favourite – the worst-ever performance by a Dutch side in international competition.

The headline in De Telegraaf was “Oranje, shame on you!” Correspondent Tijmen Lensink wrote: “Without winning a single point, the Dutch team leaves Poland and Ukraine with its tail between its legs.”

In Algemeen Dagblad, Chris Nijnatten wrote: “The Dutch team now knows where it stands. In the pale regions of the margins of the world elite.”

That grinding sound you hear is the sharpening of knives on Fleet. St.

Maurice Richard Bridge? La Presse reports Maurice Richard’s sainted name is being considered for the new bridge that will be built, one of these decades, linking Montreal and the South Shore.

In the interim, the orange-striped cones bordering constant repairs on the Champlain Bridge will be named the Tomas Kaberle Pylons.

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