Stranger

November 20, 2008

By Conor P., Hackettstown, NJ

David: When I walk around I see the people stare at me. Not because I am different, but because they don’t know me, they only see what they want to see in me and in everyone else. I am a stranger wherever I go; even in my home I am unknown. As I walk around the halls of my school, I am a stranger to myself, I mean when I don't even know who I am; that cannot be good. It is not dangerous in any way, it's just I some days I wake up and I know exactly who I am, I know what I want out of the day. But some days, some days I just wonder who the heck am I? I'm sixteen, smart, funny, athletic, yet I can't tell you what I do or like. It's like an episode of the twilight zone called the stranger to himself. Or something clever like that. I'm not depressed, I don't have split personalities. Well I don't think I do at least, could I? one man living on the inside in my mind, the man I want to be, the rebellious, the cool, the smart man I only think about when I am alone. On the outside, I am the man everyone wants me to be, the one who agrees with what they say, the one who does all the drugs to fit in, tells them what they want to hear, give them what they truly want. Lies. (David walks into school) David: My life has become one like a ghost in school. I talk to people, yet they do not notice me. I walk into people they keep on going. What am I to make of this? Wait there's my friend ray! Ray! Hey Ray! (He yells) Ray: Dude we have to trip on acid this weekend! That stuff is crazy! (As he walks passed David with his friend Joe) (They stop and sit near David) Joe: That will mess us up so bad! (He says with excitement) David: Yo, Ray, remember that time we got real drunk at mikes house? (he says with a worried look on his face) Ray: Yeah Dude (They do not even notice David) David: Dude! You guys are acting so stupid right now, you know what, whatever. (As he walks away) David: Hey! Janet, Nick, what’s up? Janet: Are you bringing flowers tomorrow? (To Nick in a sad voice as they walk passed David) Nick: Yeah, what has it been a year since he overdosed on coke. Janet: Yeah I think so… (She looks down, wipes her eyes quickly and looks up fast like nothing happened) David: Who overdosed?! What happened? (A scared look came onto his face as he waited for a response) Janet: I really miss David. (A single tear rolls down her face. David tries to catch it, but it goes through his fingers) David: What?! I am right here! What are you guys talking about? If this is some inside freaking joke, it is not funny! Nick: Same, he is so stupid for doing that stuff. (a feeling of anger and pain comes over him, and a ugly frown is all he can express) David: Yo Dude, I snorted coke last night and passed out! Chill! I woke up today feeling fine. (Everyone turns and looks at David for about five seconds, and then they turn away. David’s face of confusion turns to fear.) Janet: Yeah, he just never woke up. (David realizes what is going on, a look of shock has overcome him) David: I did wake from rest. Just not in the same place as well I feel into it. I am now just a ghost, a memory to everyone who knew me. So now every day I wake as a invisible being, not knowing that I am not alive, and have to go through this every day. Could this be my punishment for over dosing? Having to be in the one place that I disgust the most; a world where I am just a stranger to everyone, including myself.

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