Do you know the one where he was taking his rather young nephew for a walk in London? They came across a pair of dogs doing "it".
"What are they doing?" asks nephew.
"Well," replies Coward (living up to his name), "the one in front's blind and the back one's pushing her round to St Dunstans."

(For foreigners: St Dunstans is/was one of the main hospitals for eye surgery)

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__________________"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

Hmm I've picked up bits of various languages. But not fluently. I can read and speak chunks of french, a little welsh and I've picked up odd words (not enough for a sentence of various others) does that count?

sort of- I tried to but we're moving out tomorrow! (plus I have red kites in my garden here- I don't need to go to the east midlands! plus a few miles out you can see thirty in 1 spot if you're lucky! and I've had a pipistrelle flying round the flat and another in the fireplace!) on that note...