Enough play. It is now time for DRAGONE to contemplate a serious topic. My summer shoes.

I know, I know, there’s a lot going on in this picture. So let me break it all down for you, from the bottom up.

My red Tommy Hilfiger low rise sneakers, if I may make up my own term for them. I grew up wearing sneakers, but then at some point all the cool kids started wearing sandals. So even though sandals felt weird at first, I played along. And now, with the idea of wearing sandals still a modern thing to do in my mind, I look around and all I see is fat middle-aged men wearing sandals. Well not all of them are fat. And so, being the cool kid that I still am, I have gone to the summer sneaker look.

My swim suit. If I have to be fashionable with my footwear, then allow me to be comfortable with my mid-section wear. The beauty of wearing these babies all day every day throughout the summer is NO UNDERWEAR! That’s right, swim suits have built in underwear. Sort of.

I then thought I would tease all the ladies with my midriff. Yes, I know that my hairy navel is sexy to look at, which is why I capitalized on the product placement Tim Horton’s cup. Delicious navel, delicious coffee. It’s a mind manipulation tactic. Don’t blame me, I didn’t invent psychology.