The Internet; we take it for granted now, but once upon a time - not so long ago - it was a brand new thing, and nobody really knew what you were meant to do with it. TV shows, magazines, and the producers of stock images, did their best to explain it back in the 90s, in a variety of bizarre ways. Shockingly, however, time would prove many of their predictions to be spot-on.

Here are 14 images from the 90s which succeeded in predicting what the Internet would become.

THE INTERNET IS FOR COOL KIDS

One of the most iconic images of early internet, Scholastic's guide to the Internet managed to nail exactly what online life is like; a bunch of immature children trampling all over a keyboard while thinking they're far cooler than they actually are.

THE INTERNET IS LIKE SURFING THROUGH A LOAD OF RANDOM FLOATING STUFF WHILE WEARING A TELEVISION ON YOUR HEAD

Here, Time magazine heralds the advent of online shopping, foreshadowing the sales apocalypse that would - eventually - strike at the heart of traditional retailers. And what is the internet if not akin to balancing precariously upon a plank of wood while a tiny sports car collides with your crotch?

THE INTERNET IS LIKE DRIVING A REALLY FAST CAR

Yeah, the Internet has never really been like this... unless you extend the metaphor around having to swerve constantly to avoid idiots in the road.

THE INTERNET IS THE CB RADIO OF THE 90s!

At first glance, this is real funny. Though when you think about it, it's not that far off, given that people rarely use their real names online, and - like lorry drivers - are all sex pests.

THE INTERNET IS A SUPERHIGHWAY AND WILL FEATURE COWBOYS PROMINENTLY

Nobody ever says "information superhighway" anymore. Like "The Web" it has fallen out of popular parlance. Still, the cowboys remain, except now - instead of it being cowboys taking over Native American lands - it's Nazis taking over the lands that the cowboys once conquered.

THE INTERNET IS LIKE CLONING YOURSELF AND CARRYING WEBSITES AROUND AS IF THEY'RE BURIAL CASKETS

What's most interesting about this image, is that the man (well, four men) look like that American Psycho bloke. Which, again if you think about it, makes this image more accurate than it appears at first glance.

THE INTERNET OFFERS NO ESCAPE FROM ED SHEERAN AND HIS DOPPLEGANGERS

That's right: what this seems to be saying is that there is no escape from Ed Sheeran. He's trending, everyone! But at least he remembered to put on his "spats".

THE INTERNET IS LIKE THIS WHATEVER THIS IS

I've tried, and I can't find the metaphor here. It's just a load of random stuff. HOW VERY INTERNET!!!

THE INTERNET IS LIKE TYPING RANDOM NUMBERS AND LETTERS INTO AN OLD-FASHIONED TYPEWRITER

All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. All internet and no work makes Jack a dull boy. ​

THE INTERNET IS LIKE BREAKFAST

What's for breakfast on the Internet? Waffle(s).

THE INTERNET IS LIKE USING THE WORLD AS A BOWLING BALL TO KNOCK DOWN PINS MADE OUT OF MONEY

If the world is round, then how come its shadow is flat? Think about that next time you mock flat earth conspiracy theory websites.

THE INTERNET IS LIKE A LITTLE MAN WHO YOU CAN THROW MONEY DARTS AT

What's most surprising about this image is that the little website man appears to be wearing a Make America Great Again hat. Who's throwing those darts? Vladamir Putin.

THE INTERNET IS THE WORLD AND WEBSITES ARE LIKE HOT AIR BALLOONS

There's just lot of hot air online. Do you see?

THE INTERNET IS LIKE LISTENING TO YOURSELF

This seems to be suggesting that you only follow people online who already share the opinions you hold... or that you can use the Internet to listen in to conversations a miniature version of yourself is having with other people. Either way, you can probably figure this one out for yourself.

Oh, that ghastly CG imagery and Photoshoppery. I imagine everyone thought it was briliant at the time, too...

Reply

HdE

10/9/2018 11:44:03 am

I remember, back in the mid '90s, I mentioned to the man who very nearly became my father in law that I was going to a workshop where folks would be shown how to use the internet effectively.

I was then subjected to a massive rant about how the internet was a terrible, terrible thing, and no good would ever come of it, and it was a tool Satan the Devil was usuing to ruin people's minds with filth and debauchery.

This from a guy who, along with his wife, went to great lengths to sour the relationship I had with his step-daughter. So that she - a victim of horrific domestic abuse - could later pair off with a guy 20 years older who had a massive porn addiction.

There's a lesson here, folks: As much as technology progresses, people will still be complete tools.

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Spiney O'Sullivan

10/9/2018 12:49:21 pm

The one with the guy's seemingly severed head connected to a parallel port cable looks like the cover to the worst William Gibson novel ever.

Also a lot of these images remind me of the show Reboot (or rather ReBoot, for some reason), except that they didn't suddenly get grim and gritty halfway down the page.

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Jopijedd

10/9/2018 09:30:15 pm

I can't decide how much i like this article because i have been distracted by how much the suited Ed Sheerans appear to be growing ladybreasts.

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Dr. Budd Buttocks, MD

10/9/2018 10:10:35 pm

The further we drift away from it, I miss 90s internet more and more. Because you couldn't be on it 24/7 from anywhere (as much as I would have loved to), and because you felt that you possessed this esoteric knowledge of a gateway to this amazing, intangible hidden place, dialing up was something I genuinely looked forward to. I think that's what this marvellous 90s CGI is trying to convey. Now it's just habitual, absent minded scrolling through feeds of morons who can't log off. I'm grateful for sites like these that still keep it relatively oldskool.