"I took the little radio from the kitchen and I went and sat in the spare room and I turned it halfway between two stations so that all I could hear was white noise and I turned the volume up really loud and I held it against my ear and the sound filled my head and it hurt so that I couldn't feel any other sort of hurt, like the hurt in my chest"

Monday, August 2

commencement

the end of my summer vacation is near.

It is my first vacation as a university student, and I am in ruins

nothing new

nothing unexpected, considering my past 9 months.

but still, i feel it is imperative to achieve some sort of tangible progress

i have chosen two specific goals.

one is losing weight

the other is reading books,

books by the dozen,

books that are profound,

something to shake me up -

because nothing else will work, and I am damned if this fails as well.