I’m continuing with the flashback sequences this week in honor of the series finale of “Lost,” and also because I deleted all of my online dating accounts a few days ago. Never fear, I have plenty of ridiculous tales from my OKCupid days stored in the vault, but I need to take a break from this “scene” because, frankly, it bores me. It’s a collection of the same archetypes contacting you over and over again. Case in point: yet another soul-searcher (insert link to SoulQuest 2010) on Capitol Hill who told me it “wasn’t in the stars for us” after one supremely awkward date. Oh, I’m crushed, unnamed Senator’s son. I’m so, so crushed.

But I digress. I’ve really been hating DC lately. Maybe that’s because I’m Broke Phi Broke until I find a job that pays cash money instead of with “experience wank wank wank,” so I can’t afford to go out with friends. Maybe it’s because I have ridiculously bad luck when trying to make new gay friends. Maybe it’s because, despite it’s many, many flaws, I miss the South, and I’ll probably be moving back there if and when I finish grad school. And yes, I already know what you’re thinking.

As you may have deduced from the title, this is going to be a weekly feature about dating.

Sometimes disappointing, often bizarre, and always hilarious, my dating life in DC has been the fodder for many a happy hour conversation. I moved here six months ago for grad school here in Foggy Bottom, and I’ll admit to having more than a few expectations about gay life here.

Growing up in the South and living overseas in countries that claim to have no gay population, I grew accustomed to small, insular communities that were for the most part friendly and supportive. Sure, there were plenty of problems with such a dating culture, namely the size of the pool meant everyone knew when you peed in it.

But I digress. The point is, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I ventured onto the DC dating scene. I’ll admit, I have a profile on more than one dating site. I knew I’d need to “get myself out there” in ways I’d never before considered. The responses I’ve received have run the gamut from batshit insane to ridiculously salacious. Of course, I’ve used traditional methods for meeting guys as well, like bars and parties and whatnot, but the funniest stories always come from my online dates.