OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Friday, March 27, 2015

Reaction Table: High Level Cleric of Law Required to Raise Dead Associate(s)

+1 to rolls for service to deity or proxies above and beyond call of duty, sizable donation, proper obeisances paid
-1 to rolls for known blasphemies, heresies, blatant deviations from deity's behavioral guidelines, murderhobotry

d12
1. Inquiry results in partial corporeal manifestation of deity for brief, terrifying in-person, finger-wagging rebuke, assurances that any further inquiry will trigger cosmic unpleasantness
2. Cleric issues scathing indictment ofPC's dubious conduct, satirical praise for agent of dead PCs destruction, assembled clergy share damn good laugh at party's expense
3. The answer is no but offers services of promising acolyte as replacement for fallen PC (actually a hyper-competent secret operative with agenda no doubt at odds with that of adventurers)
4. Currently unable to provide resurrection but will pay handsomely for opportunity to probe dead PC's innards for divination purposes
5. Sorry, too busy serving actual devotees at the moment, party advised to seek alternate reanimation from jolly necromancer around the bend
6. Deity consulted, plea rejected on technicality, try again in 1d6 weeks, body must be preserved somehow
7. Stacks of paperwork required including full financial disclosure, please allow 1d6 days for processing, body may be stored beneath temple in refrigerated morgue for exorbitant usage charge
8. Revivification approved but on hold until completion of Pain-in-the-Ass Assignment (see subtable) in addition to standard fees
9. It's a go but due to trade embargo holy herbs and spices required for execution of miracle outrageously overpriced, itemized bill includes fees for candles, incense, ceremonial vestment cleaning, sacrificial animals
(50% chance of Pain-in-the-Ass Assignment, see subtable)
10. Oh very well, but be warned: restored life subject to instant divine revocation without warning should individual violate strict, seemingly arbitrary moral code
11. Subject revived but must swear to wear gaudy insignia of deity, proselytize faith at every opportunity, conduct affairs public and private as paragon of deity's virtues
12. All fees waived but fine print of work order reveals deity now and forever in full possession of the revivified soul, player agency permanently diminished

(Subtable) Pain-in-the-Ass Assignments from the Temple of Law
Note: Temples often farm out tasks to adventurer-types due to behavioral restrictions imposed on clergy by divinity, Temple will deny any involvement and offer no aid in the event of capture, incarceration, execution
d12
1. Retrieve holy object believed stolen by rival Temple of Law and stashed in their treasury
2. Secure support of high level official using Amulet of Involuntary Religious Conversion
3. Assassinate Evil High Priest of Secret Chaos Temple in the Unsavory District across the way
4. Serve notice for Crimes Against the Deity to regional potentate and return with monetary sacrifice
5. Introduce unknown compound into the water supply of neighboring city
6. Dispose of Cursed Object by insinuating it into the possession of rival Temple of Law
7. Provide armed escort for undercover operatives en route to Underworld Chaos Temple
8. Sabotage rival temple's unduly popular annual fete by inciting riot, delivering biting insect swarm
9. Emancipate captive from Old Imperial Dungeon and replace with mindless simulacra w/minimum of bloodshed
10. Perform heretical acts required for fulfillment of prophecy, get out of town forever
11. Collect overdue offerings from wilderness mission dedicated to "civilizing" the "barbarians"
12. Kidnap and beat to w/in inch of life particularly outspoken critic of religion, deliver warning that if satirical public comments continue, party will return to finish the job, make it look like divine retribution