This body

I’ve read and heard people talking about ‘loving your body’ a million times. I try to give thanks for it. I try to put on lotion lovingly and not rush through all the daily processes, like eating. Most of the time I do not do this very well and I direct a lot of negative thoughts towards it.

Lately I’ve been real frustrated about the “limitations” my body seems to be setting for me. Mainly aches and pains and injuries that are yelling for attention as I push through another set of reps at the gym. Tonight though, something shifted.

I was pissed again about my wrists being unable to bear my weight. At 29 and in decent shape, they should be able to. But, they hurt, and they keep hurting because usually I push through. They are in pain because they haven’t been able to heal…not with all that constant pressure I keep putting on them. And yeah, maybe some arthritis.

I thought back to why my wrists are this way. Years of cheerleading. Backflips and cartwheels and fun. Ten years of working at a faced-paced pizza restaurant where I lifted heavy things in quick succession with my hands while running the ovens on busy weekend nights.

This body has enabled me to do incredible things all my life. I’ve grown and given birth to two healthy babies. Traveled all over the world. Played and played and played. Hiked through forests and up mountains. Gone for runs and camping trips and spent weeks cramped in a car on road trips. I use this body for all kinds of pleasure – love & sex, eating, swimming, sleeping, stretching, laying in the sand.

How could I ever forget this gift? Why do we shame our selves instead of celebrating? I could have no legs, or be paralyzed, and even then it would be a wonder to just be in the world. Why do we forget what a wonder it is just to be here?

Pain sucks, but it means we are alive. “Suffering in the beauty of our lives” used to be the tagline on this blog. Every last one of us is suffering…maybe if we can strive to remember that together, it’ll make it all a little more bearable!