I I always thought of Thoreau’s comment as simply a word game — clever but ultimately false at its core. A Valentines Day without a Valentine means being alone and alone means being unhappy. It’s taken many years to finally understand the truth in Thoreau’s words. We are never so alone as when in the company of loving family and friends, our Valentine companion held tight in our arms – but knowing we are lost, unfulfilled in our dreams and visions, and untrusting in our own inner counsel. Now I hope to one day seek companionship in solitude – meaning I will have become my own best counselor, trusting, loving and confident in myself, needing no others to encourage me to follow my true path to achieving my dreams.

Become aware of your aloneness — which is a reality. And it is so beautiful to experience it, to feel it, because it is your freedom from the crowd, from the other. It is your freedom from the fear of being lonely.

Osho

Most art has to come from a singular obsession

Is a companion, even for Valentine’s Day, a weakness to convention in the face of a need for excellence? It an be many years of Valentines Day cards and chocolates before the true source of loneliness descends: a disconnection to your muse, your art, your desire — the essence of that which makes you an artist. Will you abandon the false happiness of crowds and the search for that special somebody and nostalgic rituals and embrace the search for connection throughout the fullness of the universe through art? Solitude is the path to ultimately connecting with us all — to really touch others with love.

Shakespeare, Leonardo da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin and Abraham Lincoln never saw a movie, heard a radio or looked at television. They had ‘Loneliness’ and knew what to do with it. They were not afraid of being lonely because they knew that was when the creative mood in them would work.

Carl Sandburg

Our truest love lies in what we find within ourselves and then share with all humanity

The artists, writers, collaborators, appreciators, and visionaries, here at DeviantArt, perhaps in solitude in front of their screens and canvasses, share this grand conversation with each other everyday through their own personal, yet fully connected art journey. You can never be “alone” on Valentines Day ever again. The key is in the words of Paul Tillich, the existentialist philosopher, who once said: “Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.”

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others.

Vincent van Gogh

“

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

Orson Welles

Questions

Would you rather experience the loneliness of a loveless Valentines Day, if you felt it aided in your art? Or is Valentines Day the sort of thing that feeds your art too much to be abolished for even one year?

Do you have an understanding of what it means to be truly alone in the world as an essential ingredient in making a truthful and moving piece of art?

Do you like being in solitude as meditation to art or do you need the support and love of another?

I always thought Thoreau’s comment was simply a word game - - ultimately not of much value and false at its core. A Valentines Day in solitude should mean being all alone and alone means being unhappy, pure and simple. Still, it will turn out in life that the most alone we can feel is ironically in the crush of family and friends and even in the embrace of one’s Valentines Day companion – but lost and unfulfilled in one’s dreams and visions.

To me, Valentine's day is for friends. I have not found the love of my life - at least not yet. As the years of studying in the comprehensive school went by, as friends came and went, I became more independent, more of a loner. Now I am in high school, and at least right now I feel like I really would not mind very much being friendless at school. I do have a couple of friends there, but I don't have hang out with them outside of school, since I stay at home for most of my free time. I have friends here online, and those are the friends I "hang out with" during whatever free time I have. Well, this year Valentine's Day is on Sunday, and I spend it all at home, studying for the test week and working on stuff on my laptop. The "Happy Valentine's Day" messages which came to my phone felt quite useless. I don't need a "special day" for my friends, because I care about them even without any Valentine's day. Maybe I'm just tired or something right now, as I am writing this. It's been a hard week.

So, 1. The loneliness of a loveless Valentine. I may take everything bit of benefit of it since I spend it alone anyways.

2. I don't know. Maybe somewhere deep inside I do know, or maybe not.

3. I prefer solitude. While I'd love to have someone, just anyone, take a look at my art and say if there's something I could do better (and maybe even give some advice on how to), I want to do the work on my own; only myself, my laptop and music in a peaceful place without noise or something else to interrupt or disturb me.

I would rather be alone on Valentine's Day, than know that the person who is supposed to love me, the person I have spent several years with, is off with someone else. That is an even worse rejection than just being alone. And while many do not have a special person to spend Valentine's Day with, that should not be a reason to be miserable for the day. Treat yourself to something nice. You don't need love from an external source to be happy. Go get a cupcake, or a special dinner, go see a movie, or go get a massage. Do something nice for a friend. There are more types of love than just romantic love, celebrate those as well.

If you don't like how commercialized Valentine's Day has become, instead of complaining, find a better way to celebrate it. And instead of complaining that you never have anyone for Valentine's Day, just remember that one day you probably will. Because the future can change for you. Many people do not have parents to celebrate when Mother's and Father's Day, and never will again. That is a very painful feeling. So don't be bitter, keep your head up. One day you will find the right person to be with, in the mean time, make sure you are the kind of person that is right for someone else.

And as for the original point of this journal, I like to create while alone, or with other people. I can concentrate better when on my own, but having a group of like-minded friends around to discuss ideas with, collaborate with, and just be happy and creative with is also a blessing. A good set of friends can help you through almost anything. And sometimes, when I get too obsessed with my art, it's my friends who bring me back down to earth, if just for a little while, and remind me to do plebeian things like eating. Or stretching so my back stops hurting.

Passion in art can be a great thing, but sometimes it needs to be tempered and focused or it runs wild with you. And I love the passion, but that wildness of the soul that comes with it does not give focus or clarity, and can (and historically has) driven some to madness. So find comfort in friendship, and take that and put that into your art. Or take your sadness, anger, or loneliness, and put that into your art. Pull it out like a splinter, show it to the world, and let yourself move on and heal. Art can be therapy.

Just remember to keep your head up, take comfort in your alone time, go view something beautiful, and show how it makes you feel through your art.

I guess I'll just say that I tend to prefer being on my own more often than not, so loneliness isn't really something that affects me all that much. Sometimes I just like being alone with my thoughts and my imagination. Being alone doesn't mean being sad, after all.

Then do something different and find a way to celebrate it your own way. It doesn't always have to be about sex, it should be about love in all its forms. If you only view it the way the industry tells you to, then they're winning, and you're buying into their business plan.

Lots of people experience the frustration of not being able to find someone to love you back. Sometimes it just takes time, or it's the wrong time. In the mean time, work on being the type of person that is right for someone else. It will help to bring more awesome people into your life.

Hmmm well. Valentines day never meant much to me. If you're lonely that particular day, it's just a day like all the other days. If you're not, then why should you love each other more that day then usually? Should this day really make a difference?Plus, it's a sweet thing, waiting for the right one. I have trust that we'll find each other the day we're meant to.

I don't think you need to be lonely to create touching art. Art can also be a product of elation, of bliss, of boredom, of anger and of empathy.

I need to be alone sometimes. I have a handful of close friends, we love each other and enjoy each others presence. I guess it's just me being insecure about myself. I need to relax in a place where nobody but my closest family sees or hears me, to be myself without restrictions, to feel at ease... It's the same with art - not always, but at times.

Yes. Even more: You have to distinguish between being alone and being lonely. In my case: Jesus for life. I do feel lonely at times, but I know in my heart that I am not, because He's still there. A great feeling. You should really try some Jesus, there's nothing to lose, after all. He's inspiring.

1-Valentine's day could feed inside yourself many different feelings.Alone or with others it could help you to share that you feel or close totally your soul,as many other special days.2-I could never feel stronger my thoughts as when I'm alone.Then which kind of things I could make,or feeling I could have it will depend ..It could be sincere and essential or not.3-I think everyone feels a bit empty after have meditated to art and that everyone would love to be supported and loved then.4-My opinion is that loneliness is like an amplifer.It can makes you feel stronger everything.Including sadness.

I can only answer to 4. yes, I know it very well. I never complained about being alone and avoided people, not because I hate them but because I feel much better on my own. I'm comfortable with my thoughts, I can entertain myself better than anyone else just with my mind and I enjoy my silence or sounds of nature if I go out on a lonely walk. There is nothing to feel sad about.

1. Well, I can't really answer this one accurately. I am always, and always will be, alone on Valentines Day, but I do not feel lonely. But I will say that it sparks my inspiration so much easier. As an aromantic asexual in a society where romantic love and sex are heavily emphasized in the media, this pathetic holiday angers me. It is so difficult for so many people to understand that not everyone cares for these types of feelings. Therefore, I try to spread awareness and understanding by answering some common questions we are given. And while I upload this type of work at any time of the year as I please, today does still stand out as a great opportunity to get my word out into the world.2. I think I explained that perfectly well already.3. My goodness, YES! I've made this perfectly clear!4. Solitude is when you are alone, isolated. Your emotional state does not matter. Some people are at peace, and for others, it only harbors sadness.

This is an ignorant comment. You have the right to say how you like. But loathing others who do not understand your point of view or even know your point of view is not a good idea in my opinion. Romantic love and derivatives are instinctual in most humans, those who are not part of this group are a fraction of a fraction. If you are angry at someone who doesn't know what obscure group you're part is like getting angry at someone who never watched that black and white indie comedy 30 years ago that aired for 2 months at 4am. Love and romance whether you like it or not are part of out culture, and most people's lives are influenced by it. This "pathetic" holiday is simply a celebration of that love and is not intended to offend. You may grow to understand that companionship is nice or stick with solitude. That is your path and yours alone, you should try to not judge others.

You see, I don't HATE people who don't understand. I am just FRUSTRATED with them and at our culture. Your statement at me getting angry at someone for not knowing my group exists is missing the point. I'm not angry because they've never heard of asexuality, I'm angry because they make the most hurtful and ignorant assumptions about it. Do you even know what horrid things I've read?

"Asexuals can't love. Love is impossible without sex." "They must be cold-hearted psychopaths." "They are just prudes." "They must be mentally ill." "They are just celibate." "You sound like a nun." "They have been abused or raped." "They are just closeted gays." "Men can't be asexual, but I do understand why a woman could. Men after all, have higher drives than women." "He's just lost his hope of losing his virginity."

I see this EVERYWHERE. ALL the time. What's worse is that this seems to be what MOST people think! It has been estimated that about 1% of the world is asexual. So I hope that you can imagine how miserable it is to live in such a sex-crazed society hearing all of these prejudiced statements. The extra emphasis on the myth that "everyone needs someone" made on Valentines Day makes these insults INCREDIBLY worse. That is why I hate this holiday. Almost everybody pities those who don't have a partner to celebrate with, when in truth, not everybody cares! And no, I do NOT hate the fact that sex and romance are part of our culture. I just hate that it's portrayed as ESSENTIAL and that EVERYBODY desires or has these feelings.

Sex crazed society? The hell are you talking about? A massive majority of the world is religious aka promiscuity = big no no. If you mean that two married people who occasionally have PDA and the rest behind doors then I think you're overreacting.

Do you not see how heavily sex is emphasized in movies, television, books, advertising, music, and most importantly, the internet? EVERY SINGLE DAY? It doesn't take long to find something that glorifies it.

Porn and erotic fiction are extremely easy to find. Even by accident. I've actually done that...

There's a movie about the famous erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey.

On YouTube, people often put sexual thumbnails on their videos to attract or fool viewers. Some of these people already had a great deal of subscribers and views to begin with. Some comments may read, "Oh, I just came for the thumbnail. How disappointing." "I just came for the boobs! LOL!" "Where's the thumbnail from? I MUST HAVE IT."

Advertisements often use sex appeal to encourage people to buy. Haven't you seen those pesky internet ads of WoW clones with the big breasted chicks? There are a lot of those. I can't tell you just how many different websites I've seen them on."Once you're in, you're friends won't be seeing much of you!" one says.

Profanity and explicit sexual details are common parts of song lyrics. Back in the 80's, the most dirty they got was mainly "making love" "the wild thing" or "night pleasures". Censorship has changed. In film, it used to be considered inappropriate for a couple to be laying together in bed or for a woman giving birth to be shown. Now look at today's music videos. Skimpy outfits and provocative dance moves everywhere.

It is true that many religious people are against sexual intimacy and the like, but you do realize that modern sexual values are VERY much different than what they were several centuries ago? We're not in the Victorian era anymore. And while I strongly support that society is trying to teach people that being sexy isn't always naughty, it goes too far. In many, many areas.

Okay, is your entire existence based online? Because walking to the grocery store, going to the park, to <gs id="d47ce24b-c67d-4b2a-af85-9da1670b7965" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="810831cd-397c-4cd4-ab94-b5bbe2ed5d1d" class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark">starbucks</gs>, <gs id="fb0967c5-9dc1-4c41-9109-08b9155ad90f" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="810831cd-397c-4cd4-ab94-b5bbe2ed5d1d" class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark">etc</gs> YOU WILL NOT encounter ANY of these things. The world you experience is the one you immerse yourself in, in your case the internet.

Where are you getting your reasons from?! You keep reading my points and stretching them and twisting them up into something different. You keep misunderstanding me! You're loaded with resentment, thinking that I am, too! I'm not. I was just bringing up the point that it's extremely easy to find things that glorify sex on the internet. I'm not saying that that that's the ONLY way. Just the EASIEST way. Seriously, are you really that unobservant? You have so much knowledge to discover, only a few clicks away. Soccer moms complain all the time when their child finds an inappropriate video or picture on the internet, when it's not even the uploader's fault, it's their fault for being such a neglectant parent. The internet is not a very child friendly place.Another thing, about a point you made earlier. Yes, the majority of the world believes in religion, but the majority of that portion is NOT made of people who are against sex and have converted to celibacy. If they were, the world's population would be dwindling. And I hope that you're noticed that religious bigots who ARE against it, and FLAUNT it are not well respected by the sexual population. In fact, as an asexual, even I am hurt by them. Not only are we often mistaken as anti-sex celibates, but it's just a normal part of human affection, well, to those who even experience these desires, anyway.

oh my gosh, they insulted a holiday, how could they. that's so much worse than insulting an actual person - or even a large group of people, isn't it.

Like you just did by calling asexuality obscure. No, it isn't obscure, you're just ignorant. Your comment is ignorant. And grossly hypocritical.

asexuality isn't comparable to a comedy program; it's a way of life, something that people can't help. ignorance towards asexuality is as harmful as it is widespread. Any kind of sexual advance towards an asexual person is non-consensual and that's not something that's debatable, but people don't know/don't care about their sexual orientation so either they do through with it or the asexual is criticised of 'acting hard to get' and can be isolated from society because of their refusal to conform to the rule that everyone must be in a relationship, set by society, CONSOLIDATED every year by VALENTINE'S DAY. And don't say sex is different from the love advertised by that stupid holiday. we all know that love and sex are heavily interwined and are often confused for the other.

imagine if there was a 'national sane people day' where sanity is celebrated for a day once a year, where everyone congratulates each other for being sane, and there is pressure from the media and society on people who are mentally ill or disabled to 'just become sane.' do you expect they would be happy about it? no, because people are celebrated for having something they don't have and often they can't change what they are. That kind of celebration preaches anything but self-acceptance for that group of people.

'obscure' as you may call us people, we are humans too and you should really be prioritising us over an unnecessary holiday.

I have no understanding of your response. If you have any studies of asexuality being prevalent among people enough that saying "what is that?" isn't bad/ignorant then feel free, go ahead. This is not a "us vs. them" kind of situation, you're welcome to your own opinion. You assume what group I am part of even though you barely know me, now that is ignorance. I could be an asexual too for all you know. You are also calling me ignorant and hypocritical. Do you even know what that means? I am not contradicting myself, and if I did please show me. You don't even know the history of Valentine's day if you are only thinking about "conforming to the rule that everyone MUST be in a relationship"(babies too?) Just because some guy flirts with a girl that is asexual at the bar means he should be arrested for harrassment? No. all you need to fucking do is say "I'm not interested", and if he is sober and understands he will leave you. Are you comparing people with mental disabilities and disabled people (who actually have a huge disadvantage in their lives compared to you) to you, even though the situation is very different? Just like Charlie Hebdo kept pushing out offensive comics even though some people didn't like it, they don't care because they and many other people enjoy it. Get off your high horse and try to treat people in a relationship who want to show it some respect.

I thoroughly and wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Some people, especially "regular" or "normal" people oftentimes misconstrue us for being aloof and snobs but i think it has to do with our need and want of solitude. We treasure this greatly as it helps you gain a clear understanding of who we are and filter out all the unnecessary "noise" that surrounds us every day. Media is pervasive in delivering "false" and "shallow" messages like if you don't have someone special besides you then you're a loser, outcast and miserable when clearly it isn't so. Who or what is "normal"? We all are beating to our different drum/s and there's nothing wrong with that.

Having a spouse can oftentimes distract you from the clarity and sanctity of your life path as an artist and i think that's why the greatest creative minds are from people who have that singlemindedness and are unencumbered by such trivial and mundane pursuits.

As for the questions:

1) It depends really on the person but in my case, yes. If my would be partner would only mess me up and detract me from my lifepath as an artist then yes i celebrate my solitude.

2) I haven't gotten to that point but yes an artist treasures that solitude, more so in times of duress. You could say that it's an artist's refuge.

3) Oftentimes i need that solitude to "filter" out the noise but we all could use the company and love of friends and family every now and then.

4) Yes. Sadness is when you see being alone as loneliness and pain while solitude is when you celebrate your singleblessedness.