Michigan AG candidate: Elect me, I don’t have a penis

A Democratic candidate for the Michigan attorney general’s office has released a new campaign ad openly touting the fact that she can be trusted simply because she does not have a penis.

“Who can you trust most not to show you their penis in a professional setting? Is it the candidate who doesn’t have a penis? I’d say so,” Dana Nessel says in an unorthodox campaign ad released Monday.

In statements to WWJ in Lansing, Nessel rationalized that most sexual harassment cases are perpetrated by men, and therefore electing women to office will reduce sex scandals in politics.

“If you get more women in office, if you get more women in positions of authority, you’re less likely to have issues where someone is pulling out their penis at an inappropriate time in the workplace,” Nessel said.

“I’m not saying that all men harass and I’m certainly not saying that women are incapable of sexually harassing, but I know from many years serving as an assistant prosecutor prosecuting sex crimes, honestly, the vast, vast majority of those cases do involve men. So I thought that point needed to be made.”

Needless to say, Nessel is making her point in the most attention-grabbing way possible. When was the last time you heard a candidate for public office use “penis” in their advertisement?

“It is an anatomically correct word. I know that for some reason, it seems to be offensive to some people but it really is just a part of the human anatomy for males,” Nessel said. “Yes, this is tongue-in-cheek. But again, it was to mirror something that is unfortunately a reality that we’re facing and that we’re hearing about all day, every day.”

Dana Nessel scores points for creativity. EVERYONE in Michigan will be talking about this ad now.

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Author: Chris Pandolfo

Chris Pandolfo is a staff writer and type-shouter for Conservative Review. He holds a B.A. in politics and economics from Hillsdale College. His interests are conservative political philosophy, the American founding, and progressive rock. Follow him on Twitter for doom-saying and great album recommendations @ChrisCPandolfo.