Set at the fictional U.L.A., where the library and showers are conveniently deserted and pouting is an entrance requirement, the movie introduces Sara-from-Iowa (Minka Kelly) to her new dorm-room buddy, Rebecca-from-Beverly Hills (Leighton Meester). But Rebecca’s friendliness seems a little clingy, and soon Sara’s problems — including a creepy design professor (who’s creepier than Billy Zane?) and a persistent ex-boyfriend — have mysteriously disappeared. Pausing only to bed a scrunchy-eyed drummer (Cam Gigandet) and style another edgy hat-and-scarf ensemble, Sara decides to investigate her new BFF.

We could not possibly care less. “Single White Female” barreled along on Howard Shore’s icicles-and-tinfoil score and Jennifer Jason Leigh’s transfixing portrayal of the psycho pal. By contrast, the bland faces, undifferentiated personalities and “Gossip Girl” wardrobes of too many of today’s young actresses suggest mini-Stepford Wives — a blur of uniformity.

Zooming in on goggling eyes and perfect veneers, the director of photography, Phil Parmet, fails to ape the shadow-striped cinematography of the original film, while Mr. Christiansen dredges the slasher canon for setups. A moratorium on “Psycho”-inspired shower scenes, however, is long past due: isn’t it enough to insult one filmmaker at a time?