Telling the truth isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes, it’s downright hard! However, one of our greatest challenges on our road to self-discovery and reinvention is learning to be a person of integrity—let our yeses be yeses and our noes be noes. We have to learn to engage in difficult conversations, which might result in disappointment for some. Doing the right thing includes the understanding that we cannot please everyone. When we try to please everyone, we ultimately please no one, including ourselves. People might not always like the truth spoken in love, but more often than not, they respect the person speaking it. When you and I are people of integrity, others can count on our words and our deeds. When people opt to speak half-truths and untruths, they become untrustworthy, and even their truths are tainted by the perception of deception.

The spirit of deception is duplicitous. It steals from both the deceiver and the one being deceived. Most people, unless they are social deviants, typically act dishonestly out of fear and/or cowardice. They are either unwilling or incapable of telling the truth due to a misguided perception of the repercussions of their honesty. Instead they opt for what they perceive as “the easy way out.” However, the “easy way out” is not without consequences, and it isn’t particularly easy. There are many internal and external ramifications of being untruthful. One of the internal penalties of not being a person of integrity is the stress of having to remember the lies—what story was told to whom and when. There is also the perpetual fear of being caught, being found out. Finally, some people (excluding those who have sociopathic tendencies) who suffer from poor integrity face anxiety knowing that they have this internal character flaw. As far as the external repercussions go, those who lack integrity are often at risk for having a bad reputation. They could erroneously be perceived as people of reprehensible moral character. This misconception could significantly impact both their personal and professional relationships. Our failure to be honest during difficult times could create a narrative about our character that is simply untrue. When we hurt others by our actions, or lack thereof, few people are gracious enough to evaluate the cause of our behavior. The why is irrelevant to them. All they know is that they have been hurt and offended.

Our failure to exhibit integrity could create irreparable rifts in our relationships, which at the end of the day, are one of the few things of value that we possess. The moral of the story is, if we want to grow and become better people, we have to learn to be honest and truthful, especially when it is difficult.

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity,” (Proverbs 11:3, NIV).