Anger - I still find I get angry about having diabetes...

I find myself from time to time still angry about having diabetes even though it has been 11 since I was diagnosed. I admit I was angry today after an appointment with an Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist. He told me I would need sinus surgery. This will be the second time for surgery due to chronic sinus infections. I have been pretty pleased that my diabetes has been pretty well controlled - with the exception of stress days, sick days, etc. I realize that being diabetic I will have to deal with complications but I just get so angry about it. Shouldn't my anger have passed by now?

7 replies

I realize it has been awhile since you posted this, but I still thought I would respond. I have only been diagnosed 9 mths but, I can't imagine diabetes being good news for anyone ever. So even though you have had diabetes over 11 yrs I can totally understand why it can still makes you angry. After all it changes every thing we do on a daily basis and we know it always will. I find myself getting depressed at the though of it, rather than anger. Some days it really gets me down. I hope and pray all your situations have improve since your post. Have a great day! :)

Thank you both jayabee52 and Caoltoo for your response. I realized after reading both replies that it is not just the issue of the sinus surgery and diabetes that resulted in my anger - it was a combination of many factors. My family and I are in the process of moving, unfortunately due to a layoff and my health issues; we had to surrender our house. I find myself super stressed when I am working full time - which makes my BG go crazy. With the support of my husband, I switched to working part time but resulted in having to give up the house. I will just keep trying to push forward. Thanks again.

Wishing you successful surgery and recovery! Loss of the family home even when the move is a result of logical and necessary choices, like it sounds like this is, is still a difficult adjustment. Allow yourself time to grieve this issue too. For most women, it is a huge issue because we identify much of our "self" with our home.

I also am praying for your successful surgery and recovery, and that you will be able to relocate without much more stress. I agree with Carol that it would be good if you allow yourself time to grieve this loss also.

Sounds like your hubby is very supportive to you! That is good as you will need to lean on each other during this stressful time in your life.

Whenever one has a loss or a perceived, often one passes through the 5 stages of grief as popularized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in a 1969 book "On Death and Dying.

Actually it is applicable to one's life with diabetes also The stages of the grief cycle is actually a 'change model' for helping to understand and deal with (and counsel) personal reaction to trauma. It's not just for death and dying.

The 5 stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and they are are also transferable to personal change and emotional upset resulting from factors other than death and dying.

One of the things I have learned about this subject from my studies on bereavement and change is that people don't always deal with the 5 stages in the change model in a step-wise fashion. One may go through the stages in a personal journey by jumping from denial to depression, to anger to depression back to denial and then to another stage of the model. So one may have anger at any point in one's struggle with diabetes.

So long answer short: NO, don't think youself some kind of an emotional freak simply because you experience anger repeatedly. It is no fun to experience anger again but it is the way our minds work sometime.

Each time you encounter an obstacle in your life that causes you loss (regardless of whether or not it is related to diabetes), you grieve that loss. Anger is one of the emotions that you cycle through in the process. Eventually, you come to acceptance for that specific loss. When there is another loss, you go through the process again.

Anger is also an emotion that gives you a surge of energy which can be constructively used to deal with the problem. When you deal with it, you will feel empowered to go on and meet the other challenges in your life head on and deal with them also!