Friday, March 1, 2013

Forget You! (Chapter 9)

I still don’t know what to do about
Walt’s infidelities.I wish I knew
exactly what happened the last time I confronted him.I suppose I could ask Jill, but I get the
feeling she thinks I should stick with Walt no matter what.I question any advice she has to give
me.And the only other person I could
talk to about this would be Riley.

By mid-afternoon, my brain feels
fried and I wish Jill would get done with work already so I could just go
home.I glance at the window and see the
light is on in Riley’s office.

On an impulse, I grab a fresh piece
of paper and draw a square.Since I
don’t have any tape or method to pin it up, I press the picture against the
window with my hand.I can see Riley in
his office, his eyes on the computer screen.I mouth the words, “Look up!”

A minute later, Riley pushes back
from his desk and heads out of the office.I have no idea if he saw my sign.Is he coming here or going somewhere entirely different? I toss my sign onto my desk, feeling
discouraged.I need to talk to someone about this.

Just when I’m about to give up hope,
I hear a knock at my office door.I open
it and see Riley sitting there, wearing a jacket.“When you said coffee, I hope you didn’t mean
coffee,” he says.“Because I didn’t
bring any.”

“I didn’t mean coffee,” I confirm.

“Get your jacket,” he says.“I’m taking you somewhere.”

Even with my jacket on, it’s a
little nippy out.I hug myself for
warmth.You’d think with all this extra
weight, I wouldn’t get cold so damn easily.Riley, on the other hand, seems completely unperturbed by the cold.He leads me on a path away from our offices,
one that I’m not entirely familiar with.

“Where are we going?” I ask him.

“The tree.”

I have no idea what he’s talking
about, until ten minutes later, when we end up in a field on the very edge of
campus.It’s pretty secluded,
actually.And sure enough, there’s a
lone tree.“We used to meet here a lot,”
he says.The wind is tousling his hair,
making it even more disheveled than usual.“Remember the tree sign?”

Despite the cold, I feel my face get
hot.I hug myself tighter and sit down
in the grass, leaning against the thick hard wood of the tree.Riley lowers himself out of his wheelchair,
and his legs seem to support him only briefly as he slides himself onto the
ground next to me.I try not to watch as
he uses his hands to straighten his legs out, then drags himself backwards to
lean against the tree for support.After
watching him, I don’t think he can sit up unsupported very well.

“You look freezing,” he says.

“N-n-n-no, I’m not,” I say through
chattering teeth.

Riley smiles at me and then pulls
off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders.“Aren’t you going to be cold?” I ask him, feeling like I ought to refuse
but at the same time, really wanting the jacket.

I remember that image I had back at
the barbecue, of me and Riley half-naked on the grass.I get this strong feeling that this tree has
something to do with that flashback.I
clear my throat.“Did we ever… you know…
by this tree?”

“Oh, yes.”Riley nods emphatically, then squints at
me.“Why?Do you remember?”

“No,” I say.It’s not really a lie.I have no idea if that image in my head was
real.It could have just been my
imagination filling in the pieces.

Riley looks disappointed, but I can
tell he’s trying not to let on.“So what
was this morning all about?”

I turn away from him and start
playing with a blade of grass.“You were
right about Walt cheating on me.”

Riley doesn’t say “I told you so,”
at least.He’s quiet for a little bit,
then says, “So what are you going to do?”

“I have no idea.”I rip the blade of grass straight out of the
ground.“What did I do last time?”

“Cried a lot,” Riley says.“Made out with me.”

I raise my head to look at him.“So basically, you took advantage of my
vulnerability.”

“Yes, basically,” he says, grinning
slightly.

“It’s not funny.”

The smile fades from his lips.“I’m sorry.Just trying to cheer you up.”

“I deserve this,” I say, almost to
myself.“I completely let myself
go.I looked totally different when we
first got married.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”Riley grabs my shoulder so I’ll turn to look
at his face.“You are the most beautiful
woman I’ve ever met.How could you even
say that?”

“Oh, please,” I snort.“I’m not the ‘most beautiful woman you’ve
ever met.’I’m not even close.You sound so full of shit when you say that.”

Truthfully, he doesn’t sound full of
shit.He sounds like he genuinely means
it.But I know he can’t.I mean, come on.

“You are,” he insists.

“Well, no offense,” I say.“But your standards may be a little lower
than Walt’s.”

“Really nice,” Riley says.“So because I’m crippled, I’m willing to fuck
anybody who will take me?”

He’s right.That was exactly what I was implying.And I see on his face how hurt he looks, and
I’m filled with regret.“I’m sorry,” I
say.“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He’d be justified to storm off right
now, and for a second, I’m scared he might.But instead, he leans back against the tree and closes his hazel eyes.It always surprises me how long his eyelashes
are.“I know you didn’t.”

We sit there in silence for several
minutes.I don’t feel as cold anymore
under both my jacket and Riley’s.“You
used to do a lot of writing here,” he says quietly.

“I did?”I’m surprised.“What did I write?”

“Everything,” he says, smiling at
the memory.“Sometimes you’d work on
your book.Sometimes you’d write
poems.They were really good.I hate poetry, but I liked yours.”

“And what would you do?” I ask.

He shrugs.“Nothing important.I just wanted to be close to you.”

I see Riley’s hand lying on the
grass.Before I can stop myself, I’ve
taken it in my own.I noticed that his
palm and even fingers are covered with rough callouses.Riley looks surprised, but he doesn’t pull
away.He shivers slightly.

“I thought you never get cold,” I
remind him.

“No,” he says.“I said you always get cold.”

“I feel pretty warm right now,” I
say.

Before he can reply, I move closer
to him, nuzzling against his chest and arm.Whatever else I can say, this feels really right.I fit perfectly here,
in his arms, especially when he gently envelops my shoulders.

Riley leans forward and kisses me on
the forehead.“Maggie…” he
whispers.It’s such a chaste, sweet
kiss.It shows such restraint on his part.

And then a minute later, he’s
kissing my lips, all trace of restraint now gone.And God forgive me, I’m kissing him back, and
then we collapse together onto the cold, damp grass.He’s running his hands through my hair,
struggling to touch my body through two layers of coats.Part of me can’t believe this is happening
and part of me feels like this is incredibly familiar.

“Oh, Maggie,” he breathes.“I missed you so much…”

Since my accident, I’ve been
cringing at the thought of Walt touching me, but I want Riley to touch me
everywhere.I want him to rip my clothes
off and ravish me right here on the grass, under the clear blue sky.I can’t wait another second.I can’t… I can’t…

I can’t do this.

I pull away from Riley, breathing
hard.His face is flushed and his
glasses are askew on his nose.“What’s
wrong?” he gasps.

“I can’t,” I say, and my voice
breaks.“I can’t cheat on my husband.”

But
he’s cheating on you! a voice in
my head cries out.

“Oh,” Riley says, still breathing
hard.He pauses, as if trying to absorb
the situation. “Okay.”He rolls off me and rubs his face with his
hands.“Shit.I need a cold shower.”

Riley cocks his head.“The noises you made would indicate that you
thought so, yes.”

Noises?I’m usually very quiet during sex.Walt had even made a few disparaging comments
to that effect.Something along the
lines of asking if I’d died.“That
doesn’t sound like me.”

He finally smiles.“Well, maybe you’d just never had good sex
before?”

I know what he’s doing.He’s teasing me, trying to make me want him
more.But it won’t work.Because there’s no fucking way I could
possibly want anyone as much as I want him right now.

*

We lie in the grass for a while, not
really talking but just holding hands.Riley holds my hand firmly in his, as if he’s afraid I might run
away.It’s already almost dusk by the
time I tell him I need to get home.“I’ll drive you,” Riley offers again.

“Let me just text Jill to let her
know,” I say.I grab my phone and write
to my best friend: Don’t wait for
me.Catching a ride with someone else.I don’t mention Riley, of course.I know she’s not crazy about him.I know she thinks I should work things out
with Walt.

Riley’s car is parked right in front
of our office building, in one of the handicapped spots right by the
entrance.He has a wheelchair symbol on
his license plate, to ensure permanent access to the handicapped spots.I’d never known anyone before who was allowed
to park in a handicapped spot.But he
needs that extra couple of feet of room to transfer into his car.He pops the wheels off his chair and tosses
it in the back seat.

I climb into the car next to Riley,
and see he has his hand on a gear right between us.“You drive a stick?” I ask.

He looks at me in surprise.“Hand controls.”

“Oh.Duh.”

“That’s okay.You said the same thing before.”

“Are you serious?I was that stupid twice?”

Riley laughs.“I forgive you.”He gets serious for a minute.“Just… do the right thing tonight.With Walt.”

Riley can’t attempt to hold my hand
on the way home because he’s got his right hand working the controls.At some point, he absently turns on the
radio, to a local pop station.Katy
Perry’s “California Gurlz” comes on the radio.

“This is our song, you know,” he
says.

“California Gurlz is our song?” I
gasp, horrified.Even though I can’t
remember the last three years, I’ve already managed to hear this song like five
hundred times.“This is the stupidest
song ever.”

“No way, you love this song,” he
says.“Especially the part where Snoop
Dogg starts rapping.”

“You liar.”

“It’s true,” he insists.“You are a huge Snoop Dogg fan.Trust me.”

I’m pretty sure I’m not and that
he’s messing with me, but I’m not absolutely positive so I keep my mouth shut.

When we get back to my house, I’m
shocked to see that Walt’s car is already in the driveway.How is he home so early?“He’s here,” I breathe, feeling my heart
speed up.I shut off the radio.

“Shit,” Riley says.“I better go.”

“Yeah…”

“Remember,” he says.“You can stay with me tonight if you have
to.”

I’m shaking a little as I go down
the walkway to my front door.Without
Riley’s jacket on, I shiver, but I’m not entirely sure it’s due to the
cold.I shove my key in the lock and
enter my home, which has become at least a little more familiar to me recently.

Walt is in the other room, but I
immediately see the roses on the coffee table.A dozen of them.They’re
beautiful.

“Margaret?”

I wring my fists together.He must know I found out.He came home early and bought me
flowers.Jill obviously tipped him
off.She’s trying to save my marriage,
although it’s not clear to me that it’s worth saving.

Walt rushes into the foyer, looking
anxious and very handsome.Let’s face
it, he’s much better looking than Riley.Even wheelchair aside and Riley being half a dozen years younger, Walt’s
got the edge.But taking Riley’s
disability into account, Walt basically blows him away.No woman in her right mind would choose Riley
over Walt.

Walt’s face breaks out into a grin
when he sees me, which is only a little bit fake.He rushes to the coffee table and picks up
the flowers.“I got you something,
Margaret.”

He hands me the flowers, which are
even more beautiful close up.I instinctively
lower my nose to smell them.“Thank
you,” I say.Then I add, “You’re home
early.”

“I can’t come home early to see my
wife?”

“You can.But you don’t.”

Walt’s shoulder sag.“Okay, fine.Let’s not bullshit each other.Jill called me and told me you were upset at me.That you found out about my previous infidelity.”

In a way, it’s a relief he brought
it up first.But now that it’s out there,
we have to deal with it.Of course, it
doesn’t escape my notice that he calls it previous
infidelity when I found lipstick on his collar this very morning.

“Let’s sit down,” Walt says, guiding
me to the sofa with his hand.The second
his fingers touch me, I practically jump out of my skin.He notices, but doesn’t say anything.

We face each other on the
couch.Walt tries to reach for my hand
and I pull away.“Margaret,” he
says.“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth
sooner.Yes, I was unfaithful to
you.Once.Over a year ago.And you forgave me.I was just hoping… you’d forget.”

I forgot all right.I forgot that and a lot of other things.

“It was the stress of trying to make
a baby,” he says.“We both wanted it so
badly.Especially you.And then when the doctor told you that you
were infertile—”

“What?”This is one part of the story I hadn’t heard
yet.

A sad look comes over Walt’s
face.“The doctor told you that your
tubes were completely blocked and that your uterus looked like… well, his words
were ‘a battle zone.’He said the
chances of you ever conceiving were very remote.Zero chance without medical intervention.”

My eyes fill up with tears for the
second time today.I knew we’d had
trouble conceiving but I didn’t know this part.That I’m infertile.I’ll never
have a baby.Never.

“You were so depressed,” Walt
recalls.“We were so depressed.It
killed me, Margaret.So I did something
incredibly stupid.I started seeing
another woman.”

I’m infertile and my husband is a
cheater.This is the best day ever.

“She meant nothing to me, I swear,”
he says.“You’re the one I love,
Margaret.And when you found out, I
promised I’d never do it again.And I
haven’t.”

It’s a convincing story.But he left out one important detail.“Then why did you have lipstick on your
collar from yesterday?”

“Yes, that.”Walt nods.“Well, in my field, there’s some pressure to appear… youthful.And now that I’m 42, I’m feeling that
pressure.So I went out and bought some…
concealer.The clerk talked me into a
rose-tinted shade, because she said it would make me appear healthier.That’s what you saw on my collar.”

I’m skeptical, to say the least.

“I can show it to you if you’d
like,” he offers.

If Walt was hoping I’d simply take
him at his word, he was very wrong.He
goes upstairs to the master bathroom and returns a minute later with a
container of rose-colored concealer.Just like he said.

“I’m not cheating on you, Margaret,”
he says.“I swear to you.”

I want to believe him.I do.He’s my husband.But something
doesn’t sit right and I realize what it is: his story doesn’t mesh with
Riley’s.So either Riley is a liar or he
is.And I can’t just sit here, being
told potential lies.I have to get to
the bottom of the truth.“Listen,” I
say.“Riley told me we stopped trying
for a baby because you were cheating on me.”

Walt’s face darkens and I realize
instantly that I’ve made a huge mistake by mentioning Riley’s name.“Oh, really?” he says.“Is that what Riley told you?”

I freeze, not sure how to respond.

“Because he’s just so trustworthy, isn’t he?”Walt shakes his head.“Why are you even talking to that guy?Didn’t I tell you he was full of shit?I thought you knew better than that.”

I press my hands into my lap.“I don’t think he’s full of shit.”

Walt throws his head back and
laughs.“This is unbelievable,
Margaret.Honestly.The guy has been stalking you for a year, and
now he’s trying to use your memory loss to take advantage of you.And it’s working—that’s
the unbelievable part.What other lies
has he been feeding you?”

I keep my mouth shut.I know anything I say at this point will just
make him angrier.

“Trust me,” Walt says.“That guy is lying to you.He was harassing you for over a year and
wouldn’t listen when you repeatedly told him to leave you alone.Jill will tell you the same thing.”

I just stare at him.

“You don’t believe me,” Walt
acknowledges.“You know, that’s
fine.But I hope you at least believe
yourself.About three months ago, you filed
a complaint against him with Human Resources.For stalking you.”

No, that couldn’t be true.Could it?“No, I didn’t.”

“You did,” he says.“I promise you.Go ahead and check.Go to HR and find the report.”

I just don’t believe it.Riley can’t be lying.This must be some elaborate scam on Walt’s
part.Maybe he planted the HR
complaint.That’s all I can think of.

“You still don’t believe me,” Walt
snorts.“You still think that gimp is
your knight in shining armor.”He stands
up from the couch.“I don’t want to be
in the house with you if that’s really what you think.”

“Walt…” I stand up, as if to stop
him from leaving.But the truth is, I’m
not sure if I want him to leave or not.

“I’m leaving,” Walt says.He grabs his coat from the closet by the
front door and shoves his arms roughly into the sleeves.I wonder if Walt would offer me his coat on a
cold day.“If you wake up tomorrow and
realize what a liar that guy is, you can give me a call.”

I jump as he slams the door behind
him.My fingers twitch, aching to grab
my phone, and call Riley.I don’t even
know where he lives, but I know if I call, he’ll be here in minutes, and he’ll
make me forget about Walt, his cheating, and my failed attempts to
conceive.But at the same time, I
realize that he’s a stranger.And at
this moment, I’m not certain I trust him any more than I trust my husband.

*

The next morning, when Jill picks me
up, I can tell she wants to press me for details about what happened last
night.“Did Walt confess?” she asks as
she pulls out of my driveway.

“He said it was just one time, a
year ago,” I say.“He says he’s not
seeing anyone right now.”I search
Jill’s face.“Do you believe that?”

“I do,” she says thoughtfully.“I think Walt loves you a lot and I don’t
think he’d lie to you.”

“Well, he did lie to me,” I point out.“He cheated on me.Isn’t that
lying by definition?”

“It was a rough time in your
relationship,” Jill says.

I sigh and turn away from her, watching
the houses pass by in the window.“There’s something else,” I say.“Walt claims I reported Riley Samuels for stalking me.”

“Yes, you did.”

I turn back to face Jill.“Are you serious?”

“Yes!” Jill honks at a stationary
car not responding to a green light.“He
was stalking you.It was so inappropriate.So you placed a complaint to get him to
stop.”She cocks her head at me.“I hope you haven’t still been talking to
him, Maggie.”

“No,” I lie.I lean back in my seat, feeling antsy all of
a sudden.“Can you drop me off at HR
instead of my office?”

I’m afraid Jill is going to read me
a riot act like Walt for not believing her, but instead she just gives me this
pitying look, and says, “Okay.”

The HR office isn’t far from my
own.I became very familiar with the
office over the years, and I was quite enamored with Heidi, who usually worked
the front desk.She was in her late
fifties, round like a ball, and a smile that lights up any room, especially the
HR room.I was afraid to ask Jill if
Heidi still works there, since a lot can happen in three years.But I’m relieved that when I walk inside,
Heidi is right where she always is.

I don’t bother to tell her how wrong
she is.“I’m looking for a report I
filed a few months ago.About Riley
Samuels?”

I’ve got my fingers crossed that
Heidi will tell me she has no clue what I’m talking about, but instead, she
nods her head.“Of course, Maggie.Let me get that for you.”

Heidi waddles over to the file
cabinet and pulls out a folder.She
rifles through it and removes a single two-page form.I already recognize my own handwriting on the
form.“Here it is,” she says.“I can’t give it to you, but would you like
me to make a copy?”

Oh no! Riley a stalker....NO! I hope there is a simple explanation - but the suspense is going to kill me until the next update. Poor Maggie - how confusing to not know who she can trust. I loved the sweet moments between Riley and Maggie under the tree - hope to see many more of those! Thanks for the great update.

Not yet, Annabelle... his side of the story is missing so far. Being a stalker would disqualify him as a boyfriend imho, regardless how cute and adorable he is, but Maggie should better be careful what to believe and whom to trust. Something doesn`t sound right (where are her window signs? why isn`t Jill more supportive? I`m not sure who the porblem is - Walt and Jill or Riley, but I can`t wait to find out!! Please update soon!Thanks so much, Tina

Welcome!

This blog contains erotic and romantic stories featuring disabled male love interests. If you would like to contribute a story or would like to be a regular contributor, email me at paradevo(at)yahoo.com.