Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Thomas Friedman loves one thing and one thing alone, which is to give off very sophisticated airs that he hates war--HATES IT, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND--only to call for more war in the very next breath. For this reason, he is considered America's Leading Intellectual(!) and also a Liberal(!?). Oh, he doesn't want war, don't you see, it's just that, well, this new war is so goddamn necessary. His lamentations fill the page as he bravely calls for yet another unprovoked assault on a sovereign country. War is hell, but it makes a good lede.

Friedman the Warrior begins his column today by showing all you pussies how fucking tough he is.

"For the first time since Iran began enriching uranium that could be used in a nuclear weapon, we have a glimmer of hope for a diplomatic solution to this problem — as long as we are not too diplomatic, as long as the Iranian regime is made to understand that biting economic sanctions are an absolute certainty and military force by Israel is a live possibility."[emphasis added.]

Throughout his column, Friedman repeats this theme of "biting economic sanctions," also calling them, "real biting sanctions," and "real sanctions." He lists a few different options for what those sanctions could be, but what he really wants to talk about is Israel puttin' up its dukes.

"While real sanctions are necessary to exploit this moment, they are not sufficient. We also need to keep alive the prospect that Israel could do something crazy. I don’t favor Israeli military action against Iran and hope we’re telling Israel that privately. But I do believe that U.S. officials, particularly the secretary of defense, Robert Gates, need to stop saying that publicly."[emphasis added.]

Ooooo, can't you feel what a reluctant soldier Friedman is? He really doesn't want war, but we need to "keep alive the prospect that Israel could do something crazy." Anyone looking for a perfect example of the deranged, symbiotic relationship between the US and Israel--and the hawkish mentality behind it--need look no further. Iran, a country that has never attacked the United States, and has no real capability of attacking the United States, must be constantly threatened with declarations of potential military and economic force.

Friedman goes on to correctly describe how brutal Ahmadinejad regime is, as though the well-being of Iranian citizens is of his utmost concern. Remember, he is the same guy who said we need to go to a Muslim country and tell them "Suck. On. This."

Excuse me if I find Friedman's motives less than humanitarian.

[Author's note: As I write this, a "Free Iran" protest is marching past my building towards the UN. It's worth remembering that these are the people who Friedman is so quick to cast into the hell of economic sanctions. See here for some of the devestating effects of the sanctions on Iraq.]