Chief Executive Leung Chun-ying has described Beijing as “very satisfied” with his performance after an official trip to the capital. We didn’t believe it until someone handed us this feedback form, dug out of the bins behind the Great Hall of the People.

You were served today by CY Leung :)

How strongly would you agree with the following statements?

1. My server abased himself before me, catering to my every whim or desire.

☐

☐

☐

☐

☑

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

2. My server was happy to ignore lesser people and follow my lead instead.

☐

☐

☐

☐

☑

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

3. My server shows a strong awareness of the weaknesses of the Basic Law and uses them to his advantage.

☐

☐

☐

☐

☐

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

4. My server displays a nuanced understanding of the difficulties inherent in the China-Hong Kong relationship.

☑

☐

☐

☐

☐

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

5. My server is the scariest-looking member of the HKSAR government.

☐

☐

☐

☑

☐

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

6. My server would be great value at a cocktail party, once he downed a couple shots of Maotai and started talking about philosophy and jazz standards.

☑

☐

☐

☐

☐

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

7. I would reappoint my server to the post of Chief Executive in 2017.

☐

☐

☐

☐

☑

Strongly disagree

Disagree

Neutral

Agree

Strongly agree

Other comments: Keep up the good work!

Name: Xi “The Big Xi-Xi-P” Jinping

Thank you for completing this form! Please leave it in the bin on your way out, next to the burning effigies of the Pan-Democrats.