Much glee and gloating in the Labour ranks yesterday, with the announcement that the overall unemployment figure had fallen by .. wait for it .. 7,000.

That a pretty fucking poxy percentage of nearly two and a half million, but was still enough to send the Government and its cheerleaders into paroxysms of delight.

Work and Pensions Secretary Yvette 'dude looks like a lady' Cooper emerged from wherever the fuck she's been hiding for the last year to profess herself delighted.

Gordon Brown's smug cockiness was alomost unbearable.

The Tories struggled to pretend that they were pleased too. Aides held the corners of Theresa May's mouth up. CallMeDave decided not to mention the economy in PMQ's at all, lest he be assailed with interminable tractor stats.

But as ever with NuLabour, with this bunch of spinners, twisters and fibbers, let's just dig a little deeper, eh?

Yes, 7,000 fewer people were unemployed, but as Jonathan Prynne in the Evening Standard pointed out, at the same time jobs in London, the capital and economic powerhouse, fell by 20,000.

Oh fuck. So how come the national total has increased by 7,000?

Simples. What's really happening is that unemployment is still growing, but that more and more victims are being hidden, or sent elsewhere.

School-leaver are deciding that, since there are no jobs for them, they might just as well stay at school, or go to one of the many new faux-Universities Labour has created to hide them in.

So, 7,000 fewer people are unemployed, partly because 81,000 more young people have decided to wait in the classroom or lecture theatre until things improve.

And it's not just the school-leavers who aren't troubling the scorer.

Many of those who have lost their job have been unable to find another, and are reduced to part-time work.

Of course, this won't let them live as before, and they might not be able to survive for long like this, but the crucial thing for Yvette and friends is that they're not on the unemployment register.

And there's an additional 99,000 of them.

So, while it looks like the much-trumpeted 7,000 people managed to find jobs, thats only because during the same period 180,000 people either couldn't, or took one look round and didn't even try.

Couple that with the fact that private sector wages didn't increase at all - for the first time ever - and the picture looks even fucking less rosy.

George Buckley, UK economist at Deutsche Bank, said:

“Weaker earnings growth has meant that employers are in a lot better position to hold their labour force because they've essentially accepted lower wages to keep their jobs.”

And couple that with the fact that inflation has just jumped through the roof - thanks for that - meaning that the same pay is actually less pay, and quite clearly we remain firmly, unequivocally fucked.