As some radio stations have already begun playing Christmas Songs, it is time once again to compile our annual list of the absolute worst musical offerings of the season. The first three songs on my list are pretty much indisputibly the worst songs ever written as musical celebrations of the season. The fourth I've only heard recently but immediately recognized that it certainly belongs in any top ten list of worst Christmas songs. The rest of the list should be wide open, so please post your contributions. Here is my top four songs on the list, with the top three being considered beyond debate:

1. Happy Xmas War is Over, by John Lennon 2. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time, by Paul McCartney 3. Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart, by George Michael / Wham? 4. Must Be Santa, by Bob Dylan

All Christmas/Political songs like the ones with billionaires preaching to us to help the poor when all they have to do is go there, give all their money away and live in their neighborhoods spending the rest of their lives handing out food, building bridges and new homes for them.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer

Adam Sandler’s The Thanksgiving Song (which bleeds into the Christmas Season so far it’s heard all the way until New Years.

5
posted on 11/19/2012 9:28:25 PM PST
by tsowellfan
(Allen West for Speaker!)

I have hundreds of comedy/novelty/goofy Christmas Songs and over 20 hours of the fabulous (now long discontinued) “Special X” program from XM Radio, and love ‘em all. The more weird, awful, irreverent, naughty, etc - the better.

Except one. I don’t know what the name of this monstrosity is, but it’s a spoken word thing about a little girl in an orphanage named “Mary Christmas” and it makes me want to climb up in the belltower with an AK47! SO I settle for mentally dragging the needle across the record grooves and hit the skip button. It is truly beyond the pale, and I like the pale.

The Slade song youre referring to is actually called Merry Christmas Everybody . . . and if it were not played to death every blasted December in the British Isles and beyond, it might be tolerable.

The other song that gets played to death over there is I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day by a band called Wizzard (lead singer Roy Wood, formerly of ELO). Those two songs get played so much together, they begin to meld together after a while . . . total horrors.

Now I make a distinction between songs about the real Christmas—especially the great Christian Christmas hymns, which are rarely heard on the radio—between that, and what passes for “Christmas” in the pop culture, and which is played on the radio from mid-November up UNTIL Christmas, and then it suddenly stops, just as the real Christmas (the twelve days) is getting underway. I don’t mind some of the pop “Christmas” songs—they can be fun or cute or nostalgiac—but I don’t confuse them with real Christmas.

I have hundreds of comedy/novelty/goofy Christmas Songs and over 20 hours of the fabulous (now long discontinued) Special X program from XM Radio, and love em all. The more weird, awful, irreverent, naughty, etc - the better

There was a talking blues version of A Christmas Carol that I heard, only once, back in the late seventies. IIRC, it was in a ghetto setting and used inner city vernacular. It may have been recorded before then. Are you familiar with it?

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