RON SCHALOW: Lord Of The Lies — Fargo 2.0

RON SCHALOW: Lord Of The Lies — Fargo 2.0

Donald Trump was in Fargo. Again. It was his second visit since June 27, but this time it was to raise money for Kevin Cramer, who is getting shellacked by Heidi Heitkamp in the dollar department.

This time, though, he only spoke for about for about 30 minutes. Much of it was pure bullshit, but the small crowd, including a number of state lawmakers, loved it. Were they seriously unable to detect the lies? Did they really find him funny?

I ran DT’s speech through a word program, and it was rated at at a seveth-grade reading level, which is an improvement from Donald’s usual fourth-grade verbal ranking.

Most chunks of his speech were either misleading, exaggeration, personally aggrandizing or lies. Some of it was just gibberish. He slipped in a few normal strings of words, with correct information, presumably by accident.

The relevant quotes below:

“Thank you. What a group of people. What a state. This was a big winner for us, wasn’t it? This was a big one. That was a great victory. And I just want to thank you.”

The president is still yammering about an election that took place two years ago. It was a tough battle to carry North Dakota.

“The governor is here. Doug, where are you? Doug? OK, come on, Doug. Look at him. See. He gave up the good location so you could have a good location. Thank you very much, Doug.”

Yes, look at our governor. Knowing everything that can be known about the shady New York sleaze, he still chose to become a vacuous Trumpite, which is troubling to me.

“And Kevin is special.”

Indeed he is.

“So I just want to thank him for going into the race and, you know, you look at what he and Chris have done in a short period of time, they’ve really turned it around. And they’re leading, I won’t even tell them by how much. OK, I don’t want to tell them by how much.”

Turned what around? Cramer is aRepublican in North Dakota. He should be leading by 20 points, and Trump doesn’t know what the spread is. If they had good poll, legit or not, the numbers would be published by now. Probably sent to Rob “Heidi Sucks” Port by a three-eyed raven.

“And by the way, we want regulations. Somebody, very popular guy here, was just interviewing me. You know who I’m talking about, great guy. And he said, what do you think of President Obama’s speech? And I said, I’m sorry, I watched it but I fell asleep. I found he’s very good — very good for sleeping.”

“I think he was trying to take some credit — he was trying to take credit for this incredible thing that’s happening to our country. If the Democrats — and I have to say this to President Obama, and it wasn’t him, but would have been the same thing. If the Democrats got in with their agenda in November of almost two years ago, instead of having 4.2 up, I believe honestly you’d have 4.2 down; you’d be negative. You’d be in negative numbers right now. You’d be a negative number. We were heading south.”

We weren’t headed south, and 4.2 isn’t that big of a deal, especially since the last quarter was juiced by companies trying to move product before the ill-advised Trump tariffs kicked in, and a massive tax cut for corporations and the upper crust.

Obama had GDP quarterly gains of 4.7, 4.9. 5.1, and 4.1. The difference is that he didn’t start frothing at the mouth and traveling the country to boast, about a good, but not crazy numbers.

When Obama took over from George W. Bush, the country was losing 800,000 jobs per month. And he had to fight Congress for any stimulus, since the Republicans chose party over country. So keep bragging, slick, and learn what context means.

“And you look at those bad numbers that were there in the last couple of years, it was this way, and going in the wrong direction. It was the weakest recovery in the history of our country since, I guess, to be totally specific, because I’m not sure they’ve gone any further, since the Great Depression, in ’20s, it was the weakest recovery we’ve ever had. It was barely a recovery.”

Those last couple of years, were comparable to Trump’s first two years, so he is full of crap. It was a weak recovery, the slowest since World War II, but not “barely a recovery.” They didn’t call the recession that started in 2008 “great” because it was a fun time.

They’re having a slow recovery in Puerto Rico, on Trump’s watch, and 3,000 dead. Americans left to die. DT pointed out that Puerto Rico is an island, so that caused a problem. Ask the men who took Iwo Jima if they would have rather scoured a friendly place for survivors. Shameful.

Had 3,000 U.S. citizens died in a white area of the country, and I don’t mean the dirt, due to presidential incompetence, big paper towel-tossing Donnie would have been removed from office, and banished to his penthouse.

“And now this is called not recovery; this is called rocketship, what’s happening.”

No, it’s not.

“Lot of jobs. It was very unfair. They got their approvals, and then they said, you have your approvals but you can’t build it; you’ll never be able to build it. I was told they’d never be able to build it. I approved it on day one. On Day One it was approved. The same thing with Keystone. I approved Keystone.”

Humble Harry also approved putting toddlers cages. Kevin thought that was OK. Hundreds still haven’t been united with their parents, because Trump’s White House doesn’t make plans for the after part of their cruel behavior. Old news to a holy man like Cramer. There are more than a few sociopaths involved in this mess.

“Total of 48,000 jobs. But more importantly, two great projects. And we approved them both immediately, and you would have been stuck. You would have been stuck. You were never getting that approved.”

The oil companies always get what they want, so both would have been approved, and except for a few dozen positions, the jobs were temporary. And not made with American steel. POTUS let them slide on the foreign steel thing.

“And there are — so many people thanked me for that. I guess more importantly, though, when I walked in, I was walking in with Kevin Cramer. And walking through the door. And a strong man came up to me, tough kind of a guy. And said, ‘I want to thank you, Mr. President, for saving our country.’ And … and he had — he had tears coming down his eyes. He had — this wasn’t just a statement because he had tears coming down. Unless he was a real wise guy. But he had tears coming down his eyes. And he said, ‘I want to thank you, Mr. President, for saving our country. And I want to thank you for all of the horrible things that you have to go through because it’s so unfair to you and it’s so unfair to all of the millions and tens of millions of people that voted for you.’ It’s true.”

A) Saved the country from what? B) I call bullshit on the the whole yarn. No photos of this poignant exchange were taken, and evidently the Secret Service has gotten a bit less touchy about “tough guys” wandering up to the president.

“And it is. It’s very hard for Republicans and conservatives.”

What’s so hard? Finding a decent martini?Keeping affairs quiet?

“But the court system’s very important. I’m going to be appointing — and have appointed — a record number of judges. We’re going to be district court judges, we have court of appeals, we have Supreme Court, of course. And one of the reasons that it’s so important to get Kevin in is just that. Because, you know, it could change very quickly. But we have to keep it going. If we don’t keep it going, that changes. And if it changes, that affects yours Second Amendment rights.”

Trump nominees have received a “not-qualified” rating, in record numbers, if he want to boast about that. And nobody is going to have their Second Amendment rights touched. We still don’t allow guns to death row prisoners and seven-year- old tough kids, if that isn’t a problem.

“I know it’s a big Native American population, and I know it’s been very tough, and I know Heidi has not done a good job helping them and taking care of them, and they sort of vote for her because maybe they haven’t had the right choices; maybe they don’t know what’s going on with respect to the world of Washington and politics.”

Cramer told him to say that. And why does Trump think the Natives “don’t know what’s going on with respect to the world of Washington and politics.”

“But I have to tell you with African-American folks, I would say what do you have to lose? As I read a list of the worst things you have ever heard, highest crime rates, worst education, lowest home ownership. And I’d read like 10 items, and I’ll never forget, they gave me a list; I was making a big speech. And I’m reading all these horrible things about crime and education and home and so many things, and I just said, what do you have to lose? Vote for me. What the hell do you have to lose? Do you remember that?”

With Trump, there always a lot to lose. DJT knows more Russians than the average citizen of Nizhnevartovsk, and more Russian mob figures than the police chief of Brighton Beach, and not because they like his beady little racoon eyes.

“Because now African-American unemployment is at the best number in the history of our country. Best number meaning it’s at it’s at the lowest in the history of our country. And Asian-American and Hispanic-American and women, 65 years. But Hispanic, think of it, Hispanic is the best number in the history of our country. And Asian is the lowest in the history of our country. And I say with respect to the Native Americans, that I go right back to where I was two years ago when I was campaigning, what do you have to lose? What do you have to lose?”

The unemployment rate for most groups dropped precipitously under Barack Obama. And Trump has no respect for anyone that isn’t the color his feet. Why do you think he pumps his kneeling issue and questions the intelligence of black athletes? Why not pick on curlers.

Black unemployment was REALLY low during slavery.

“You put Kevin Cramer into that position and you’re going to see things happen that you’ll never see with Heidi. You’re just never going to see it with Heidi. So I’ll say, very respectfully, what the hell do you have to lose? OK.”

What a stupid thing to say. Cramer is no friend to the tribes, and the Trump/Cramer ticket is favored by white nationalists, and other amatuer torch carriers, if that gives anyone a clue about where their loyalties lie. More racism towards Native Americans isn’t going to help.

“So I have a list. And the list goes on and on. It’s four pages of things that the Trump administration has accomplished in a short period of time; it’s less than two years. This goes on, and on and on. I have — and, if I read it to you — look at this. This is — if I — each dot is a thing. OK? And some of those things are very big things.”

He had sheets of paper with writing on them. The crowd was amazed.

“More than 4 million jobs created since the election, think of that; 201,000 jobs just last month, brand-new jobs. Wages are growing at the fastest pace in nearly a decade. And what happened this morning? Did you hear that? Two-point-nine percent, it’s like the best wage number that we’ve had in many, many years. And that makes me very happy.”

President Obama averaged at least 174,000 new jobs per month in his last six years and hit 250,000 in 2014. 22.3 million jobs were added from the pit of the worst recession, since the great depression until Trump.

Wages grew 3.9 percent in November 2016, so many, many years, is two.

“To me, you know, we had great jobs numbers this morning. They were just announced and they were fantastic. But the one that stuck out to me was the wage — I mean, people are starting to be able to live; to live.”

More and more, in their cars, and tent cities.

“So not only unemployment but the wages are starting to go up for people. More Americans are now employed than ever before in the recorded history of our country, think of it. Today, right now, we have more people working than have ever worked.”

More people live here than ever before.

“They’re around — because if you look at what I’ve done for your coal industry, it’s incredible. We had a man who is in the mining business. He said, sir, what you’ve done for the coal industry is incredible because we were dead and now we’re vibrant again. Where is he? Where is that guy? Where — shout out your name, please. I signed his hat. Guy’s probably loaded and I’m signing hats.”

Coal has gained about 2,200 jobs during Trump’s term. That isn’t incredible or vibrant.

“And you know, another industry that’s vibrant — it affects you a little bit less, but it affects everybody — is steel. The steel industry is coming back like I’ve never seen anything because of what we’ve done.”

Tariffs have boosted our steel industry a bit, but everything made with steel will go up in price.

“We’ve done — with all the dumping; they’re not doing so much dumping anymore. But the steel industries are coming back. And you know, when they do dump, they’re paying a lot of money on their dump steel that they’re sending in here. And it goes right into the coffers of our country; and, that’s OK.”

The taxes collected from imports is nominal compared to the additional debt created by the tax cut scam. Trump lost more in the casino business.

“But U.S. Steel is opening up eight plants, Nucor and others are opening up plants. Some of them are spending close to $1 billion on a brand-new plant. The steel industry is one of the great things to be talking about. So the manufacturing jobs are back. They’re coming back and they’re coming back at levels.”

He keeps repeating the false claim about U.S. Steel. They aren’t opening up eight plants. The number is zero. Nucor is building $240 million steel rebar mill.

“Economic growth, as you know, last quarter 4.2. New unemployment claims recently hit a 49-year low. Median — think of that, I mean, I’m going through them like eh … No, think of it, median …”

I don’t want to think of medium.

“… Yes. Median household income hit the highest level ever recorded. That’s not bad, right? These are some of the biggies.”

Median household income hit $59,000 in 2016. Currently it’s $56,516. Maybe they didn’t record the 2016 number.

“Women, 65 years, sorry about that; it’s — I like history better, right? I like history better, right? Historic as opposed — I joke, but — but women it’s 65 years. Best numbers in unemployment in 65 years, it’s good. It’ll be historic, I would say best in history very shortly, probably another two weeks. Youth unemployment …”

Women were barely allowed work for decades, and more women currently exist in America, so good for you, DT. Trump is still a misogynist sexual predator.

“… Youth unemployment, the best in half a century. Lowest unemployment rate ever recorded for Americans without a high school diploma. Isn’t that a great thing? I mean, nobody even talks about this stuff. That’s like, you’ve probably never even heard of these categories. Those are important categories to me.”

People have heard about these categories. Everything is news to Don. A whole batch of Russian criminals bought apartments in Trump Tower. That was news to Don.

“Veterans’ unemployment recently reached — its lowest in more than 20 years, and that’s going up rapidly. I even think it’s wrong. I think it’s a much higher — even much better than that. If it’s not, I’ll make sure it is. OK? I’ll make sure because we love our veterans.”

He doesn’t like Vets who were captured, and he dodged the Vietnam draft, because he’s such a fine man.

“So Medicare. If you look at what the Democrats are doing, they’re going to destroy Medicare and they’re going to destroy your Social Security. We’re going to save your Social Security. We’re going to keep it. We’re not going to touch it.”

The Democrats aren’t going to destroy Medicare and Social Security. I have my doubts about Kevin Cramer, though. Sean Hannity must have fed the Don this tripe.

“We’re growing faster than even I projected, although I thought we’d be around that number. Most other — if I would have said it during the campaign, they would have laughed me off the stage — they’ve been trying to do that for a long time.”

It’s not that great, pal.

“Most people would’ve said 4.2, it’ll take years to get there. Well, it didn’t take years to get there; very quick. And last time, we were at 3.2 and everybody was shocked. I said it’s going to much higher. It’s going to go much, much higher than anybody believes.”

Most people wouldn’t have said that, and nobody was shocked. Slather it on, huckster.

“You know, when we fixed the trade deals, that has a big impact. We’re losing — we’re losing $100 billion with Mexico. We’re losing anywhere from $25 billion to $50 billion with Canada, you know, even though Canada likes to say we have no deficit. They’re smart in saying that.”

“But we cannot continue to get ripped off like we’ve been ripped off before. Our farmers are very important to me. Our farmers — and you’re great patriots. Honestly, you’re really great American patriots.”

Farmers may well be patriots, but mostly they want to feed their families, however, the Trump/Cramer tariffs have thrown a wrench into farm profits.

“And it takes a little time. But China wasn’t letting you in, for — I mean, for peanuts. And the European Union has been very, very tough on you. They have barriers. They have trade barriers. They sell us but we aren’t allowed to go in there. I said we can’t do that.”

None of that is true.

“And if you’re going to do that, we’re going to tax your cars because that’s very easy. And that’s the biggest money, the cars. It’s all about the cars. That’s the biggest money. And they’re all pouring cars into our country and we don’t — essentially, don’t tax them. It’s 2½ percent but for the most part, they don’t pay.”

They pay 2.5 percent. It’s not nothing.

“You know, why should they pay? Why should they pay the U.S.? They’re not used to paying the U.S. Now they’re paying but it’s only 2½ percent. And with them, No. 1, they don’t take our cars. And No. 2, if they do, their tariff is many, many times the amount that they pay us.”

The EU does take our cars, and charge a 10 percent tariff. We charge a higher tariff for pickups. Every country has variable tariffs, but the average tariff charged by the EU, Mexico, Canada and the U.S. is essentially the same, so I’m not sure what Trump’s big problem is about. Ignorance comes to mind.

“So we tax the cars. And as soon as they said that, they all say, OK, we’ll make a deal. So every time I have a problem with any of these — you know, many of these countries that we’re talking about — especially the big car countries — I just say, OK, look, we can’t make those deals. That’s OK. I’m going to put a 20 percent tax on you because’ — ‘We’ll do it! We’ll do it! We’ll agree!’”

He’s talking about the EU, and no deal was made. Just like his great deal with North Korea. He’ll claim victory, no matter the results.

“We’ll agree. I mean, actually in some countries, including Canada, a tax on cars would be the ruination on the country. That’s how big it is. It would be the ruination of the country. Now, they’ve taken advantage of us for many decades. We can’t let this happen anymore.”

Canada has not taken advantage of us for many decades.

“We have a country to run. You know the expression ‘we have a company to run’? Well, we have a country to run. And when I get these horrible trade deals, these are one-sided, horrible deals. I think NAFTA — I mean a lot of you people forget, but I think NAFTA’s been the worst trade deal ever.”

Trump ran the worst university, ever. EVER.

“I actually think World Trade Organization was probably the worst of all, but a lot of people don’t know what that is, but that allowed China to become this great economic power. And I’m a big fan of President Xi, but I told him, I said, ‘we have to be fair.’ We can’t let China take out $500 billion a year out of the United States and rebuild itself.”

People do know about the World Trade Organization, and China invests a large sum into the United States. The Trump/Cramer tariffs are hurting our consumers, worse than China.

“We have some of these countries that are considered growing economies. They are considered nations that are not mature yet, so we are paying them subsidies. The whole thing is crazy. You know, like India, like China, like others we say, ‘oh, they’re growing actually.’ So I want to be put down in that category because we’re growing, too. We’re going to grow faster than anybody.”

He is making no sense.

“And, you know, they call them developing nations. Well, we’re a developing nation, too, OK? We are. As far as I’m concerned, we’re a developing nation. They call themselves developing nations, and under that category they get subsidies. We have to pay them money. This whole thing is crazy, but we’re going to stop it. We’re going to stop it. We have stopped it.”

America is not a developing nation, and we don’t have to pay anybody money. Any foreign aid we send is in our own national interests. I don’t think Trump gets that.

“And when we’re securing militarily, John Kelly is here, Gen. Kelly, he’s great. When we’re securing the wealthy countries from outside harm because we’re paying for their military, I think it’s fine, but they got to pay us for this. We’re watching the whole world and they take it for granted.”

Gen. Kelly thinks our president is a moron.

“For years and years, we’ve been protecting these countries. They’re making a fortune. They’ve had very little military cost. We have the biggest military cost in the world. Most of it goes to protecting outside countries, some of whom don’t even like us, some of whom don’t even like us.”

Trump added a ton to the military budget, and we have hundreds of bases all over the world. If he has a problem with the size of our military, the doofus hasn’t mentioned it.

“I mean, we’re protecting countries that have — I got to say, they do have respect for us now, but they didn’t have any respect for us, and they’ve got to pay. They got to pay, you know, when they’re wealthy.”

Nobody respects us, since January 2017. Most in the world think Trump is a crude, ignorant, classless, dick.

“And by the way, then this idiot Woodward who wrote this book, which is all fiction, said that I said something like that, but he put it in a very crude manner. I — the concept is true, but the way it was said was very — you know, hey, I went, like, to the best college. I did lots of good — I mean, you read this thing, the quotes were wrong. All these — John Kelly, Gen. Mattis, they were all writing, ‘I never said that, I never said that.’”

Woodward has tapes, and Trump is a world champion liar. Who to believe? It’s a tough choice. Other tapes prove that Trump has used the R word, and called southerners stupid.

“We have a record number of regulations eliminated in the history of this country. In less than two years, I’ve cut more regulations than any other president regardless of how long they served.”

Not all regulations are bad. Like ones that prohibit money laundering, which Trump has been doing for the Russians since the 1980s.

“And I think that might have been just as important as the tax cut. Regulatory relief for community banks. They were dying, the community banks. Now they can loan you money. Make a good deal, please.”

Heidi Heitkamp was at Trump’s side, when he signed that Bill. Cramer was glowering in the back of the room. Don is his boy, dagnabbit.

“We enacted all sorts of different elements for credit unions to come so they make it possible for you. My administration’s providing more affordable healthcare options for Americans through association health plans and short-term duration plans.”

I highly recommend buying one of the new junk health plans and then send a big contribution to the fake Trump charity.

“We have all sorts of health care. We actually had it beaten, but that’s a long story. We repealed and replaced —but we’ll do it. We had it done, but something happened. But we need — frankly, you’re right. Heidi’s vote would have been great. If we had Heidi’s vote, but she voted against it, but we got, if you remember, the individual mandate was wiped out. So we wiped out the individual mandate which is the most unpopular part of Obamacare. We wiped it out. And then I have three more pages — two more pages just like this. Look.”

Trump wanted to say John McCain’s name, but he already lost that battle with a dead man. Now, Trump/Cramer will wipe out protections for people with preexisting conditions. Kevin used to boast about it.

“OK? But isn’t this much more exciting than listening to President Obama speak?”

The lies add some flavor to your speeches, Mr. President. And those four sheets of paper, he keeps waving around.

“One of the things I wanted is I don’t want our companies — and I just insist on it — I don’t want our companies moving to other countries, firing everybody, losing these great companies and losing these great jobs, and that’s the thing I’m most insistent on with trade deals.”

That’s why he and Ivanka have all of their products made abroad. That’s why Don imports foreign workers to work at his golf resorts.

“We’ve started the wall. It’s moving along.”

A few hundred feet, maybe, but it’s not moving along.

“Kevin is a big fan. Kevin’s a big fan of the wall, and I just say this. We have so many things — I will put it very strongly. You’re second amendment is under siege. You put the wrong person in there, they’re going to vote with Schumer. Look, Heidi is going to vote with Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. I always add Maxine Waters in there because …”

Kevin might be a fan of walls, because it excites the xenophobes, but the rest of DT’s quote is false.

“And Kevin’s going to be with us, and we’ve got the agenda for the courts, the agenda for the borders. We want borders. We don’t want people pouring into our country we have no idea who they are, where they come from.”

People aren’t pouring into the country, but scaring the beige humans is mandatory.

“And you know, with these lotteries that we have, we have lotteries from countries where people come in through a lottery system. Do you think that these countries are sending us their finest? I don’t think so. Now, they would say, ‘That’s a terrible thing to say.’”

That’s not how the lotteries work.

“So that’s fine, but, I mean, two weeks ago, 68 people shot, 12 died, Chicago. That’s our country. I mean, excuse the crime figures because the crime figures in the United States are doing well. But you add — that’s a lot of addition in terms of skewing numbers. But that’ll get straightened out. It’s easy to straighten out if you have the right policy. It’s actually easy to straighten out.”

It’s easy to straighten out the Chicago gang problem, but Trump is keeping it secret.

“We’re going to have totally protected Medicare. We’re going to protect our Social Security. That’s Kevin. The Democrats are going to destroy your Social Security. As sure as you’re standing — they’re sorry for no seats, but the crowd was bigger than they’re supposed to be…”

45 words of BS.

“So I’m here for Kevin Cramer. I want to thank you all for supporting him. It’s — it’s an honor for me because he’s a very special man and I really said — you really owe it to the country, you have to do this. You have to do this. We need that vote. We need him, we need his brainpower, we need his presence in Washington D.C., because that place is brutal. It’s brutal. It’s a — a lot of bad, bad things up here are going — going through people’s heads. These are sick people. These are sick people.”

Cramer can keep all of that brainpower, which doesn’t have enough amps to see through a grifter like Trump, a sick racist, with zero self awareness.

“I mean, the deceit and the — you know, some of these Democrat senators, ‘Oh Mr. President, how are you? I’m such a fan, blah blah blah,’ but then I see them on television 10 minutes later, ‘We must get rid of this guy.’ I said, ‘Wait a minute, I just said hello to the guy 15 minutes ago, he’s hugging and kissing me. He’s hugging, he’s kissing, and then he’s talking’ — these people — it’s bad.”

Watch for the ones with orange lips.

“But we need — we need Kevin there. We have to have him. So I’m here for him. I honor him. And I honor you for helping. Thank you all very much. Thank you. Thank you.”