tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58519959504821035802018-03-05T20:32:15.054-08:00The Last RubeThe Last Rube.Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-86909826759948307882011-04-02T09:07:00.001-07:002011-04-02T09:07:40.067-07:00Chicken Soup for the Soul: Not Always Inspiring<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; ">In the mid-nineties, I wrote a monthly column for America Online's Teen Community. I just wrote about whatever was on my mind, but I remain very proud of this column. Yet, they were lost in an AOL update so none of them exist anymore. If I could find one, I am sure it would be as awful as most of my early writing proves to be. Many of my topics came from lunchroom conversations with my peers. This little column led to much of my initial success. I self-syndicated the columns to a number of regional papers. I don't remember their names, although I did find an old copy of one of them, the Radisson, NY <i>Free Press</i>. This also led to my first freelance article in a California-based magazine <i>Focus: A Magazine for Women</i>, that was an expansion of a piece I wrote about the camaraderie between the boys in my school who became fathers. I used to receive e-mails from readers and enjoyed an inflated sense of grandeur that still persists to this day. <div><br /></div><div>Yet, it wasn't all success. In fact, the success was rather rudimentary and had no real lasting significance. While I would write for the Teen Community section on AOL, I spent most of my time in the section of the service dedicated to writers and writing. I had access in those old forums to many experienced and helpful professionals. There was also a section where writers could find opportunities -- anthologies in need of manuscripts, magazines in need of freelancers, and content for these new-fangled websites. One such advertisement asked for inspirational stories. I don't remember how I did it -- this was on AOL's service, not the web -- but I directed the poster to my articles on AOL and my published clips and waited for a response.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was in high-school at the time, tenth- or eleventh-grade, and the mid-term exam was legendary for being a real bastard to pass and failure resulted in extra homework for the rest of the year. Also, doing well on the exam meant the possibility of skipping the final. I avoided the internet for a week or ten days, perhaps I was a focused student or barred from using the computer for my sass-mouth or skipping on some chores. When I returned to my e-mail, I was behind on everything. I owed AOL two columns and had a bunch of other writing to do and as I scrolled through my e-mail, I saw that the editors of the anthology had gotten back to me. They liked my work and wanted me to submit something. I had just spoken to a longtime professional in Journalism who had advised me to "never write for free." So, I attempted to negotiate with the editors. I wanted cash I could spend on a CD or a video game or some youthful bullshit. So when they responded by saying they would be willing to negotiate a back-end royalty, I decided that my plate was far too full for such fly-by-night nonsense. </div><div><br /></div><div>A year later, <i>Chicken Soup for the Soul</i> took over the world. </div></span>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-25995551478647860402011-02-23T14:12:00.000-08:002011-02-24T16:00:10.159-08:00A New Home on the Interwebs!When your name is a website, you tend to feel more legit.<div><br /></div><div>Thus, I have launched a crappy little website at <a href="http://www.joshuampatton.com/">www.joshuampatton.com</a>. Right now it just has some links and a bio on it. I am HTML-illiterate and it has been a challenge just getting what little there is up and functional. </div><div><br /></div><div>Please check it out and feel free to leave comments, suggestions, and advice. All of my previously published pieces currently available here will be moved over there and perhaps some of the longer posts, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>And hopefully, soon, I will have some books to sell on the website, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for your readership.</div><div><br /></div><div>JMP</div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-12779256798895851922010-10-25T17:08:00.001-07:002016-01-09T11:57:39.348-08:00Gunning Scared<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CxoXb-niSR8/TMYcNAFFEsI/AAAAAAAAADU/NnaS7nbQaQs/s1600/DSC00403.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532140201956414146" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CxoXb-niSR8/TMYcNAFFEsI/AAAAAAAAADU/NnaS7nbQaQs/s320/DSC00403.JPG" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 290px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 320px;" /></a><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I had never before asked myself, “What Would Jesus Shoot?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I seem to remember from years of Catholic school that he was no big fan of swords, but Jesus is practically an American now and frankly there is nothing more American than exercising the right to bear arms and blow the shit out of targets, clay pigeons, or what-have-you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hell, I enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>When I was 12 or 13, I joined a group called the Explorer Scouts and their membership was comprised of both males and females.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a weeklong trip into the woods where the group stays in cabins and it seemed like a great potential for rookie nookie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">That, my friends, is another story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was before this weeklong trip that our extremely elderly group-leader took us down a dark staircase in a brick building, underneath which was a firing range.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn’t bother with eye or ear protection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of the kids in the group were hunters and had fired a rifle countless times before; I barely understood how to hold the fucking thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I peered down my lane over the top of the rifle, I lined up the rudimentary sight upon the center of the target and fired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">My shoulder bore most of the kickback, but it was unexpected and immediately my right ear began to ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>The smell, the old man had already referred to it as “brimstone,” seemed to not only infiltrate my nostrils, but also into my eyes causing me to well up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old man was distracted, barely paying attention, and I peered to the paper that seemed miles away from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While the image was of four concentric black rings, the innermost of course solid, when I focused instead on the three white circles that made up the space in-between, I spied a speck of black in the center left quadrant of the middle white ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first shot in life was kind of on-target.<o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">While my aim has gotten worse with time, the thrill of firing a weapon has never dulled and when I can afford it, I enjoy going to the range with friends I want around in case the Zombie Apocalypse ever goes down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the winter months, we frequent an indoor range where it is the policy of the proprietors that no outside ammunition be used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In recent months, the price of the ammo has risen substantially.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I asked the man behind the counter about it he informed me of a startling fact.<br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s the Ammo shortage since Obama took over,” he said shaking his head, and then with empathy,<br /><br />“It drives the prices right up, especially for recreational shooting.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked, ignorant to the gun community-at-large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />“Well, Obama doesn’t like guns and God knows what he’ll ban, but no one is taking chances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The military, the police, guys like you and me, have all been buying up the bullets faster than the companies can make them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He placed another box of Winchester .380 rounds in front of me and rang them up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I handed him a twenty dollar bill, he returned a five to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />I placed a call to the Remington ammunition and components plant in Arkansas to get to the bottom of the shortage posing as the spokesperson for a group looking to open a gun club and range.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A kind woman named Patty told me that I could order as much as I wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She informed me that the company was doing well, despite the poor economic times they had their “best year ever.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was informed that while it was once a three-shift operation, they were now working “around the clock,” and that by the first of the year everyone would be able to earn double-time overtime.<o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Federal Ammuntion told me the same thing, and a little more. A spokesperson for Federal told me that they only sell through distributors and these distributors may or may not be restricting or rationing purchase. There was no shortage of ammunition and, if anything, there are more bullets out there than ever before. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I called an ammunition distributor, that will get no mention from me, that told me a different story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The man identified himself to me as Jim and exhaled with what sounded like despair when I asked about the shortage of Ammunition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You follow politics much, son?”<br /><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />“No,” I lied.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />“Well, you see since Obama got elected, it is only a matter of time before he bans assault weapons again or starts banning handguns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of our customers are buying as much ammo as they can and, I don’t know why, but the price is going up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We still have great deals, you want to reserve some with a credit card just in case?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The man waited in silence, a master pitchman, letting the silence build with the fear and tension that might build if I actually believed this swine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />As any Gun enthusiast knows, what happens in the sporting goods stores and gun clubs across the country bears little effect on the Hajj like pilgrimage to the anything-goes gun show, a whirlwind of arms dealing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked into a sea of denim and camouflage clad people milling about tables with all sorts of weapons, ammo, and accessories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet it seems the shortage has stuck here as well, the boxes were not piled as high and the selection of weapons and rounds, and the amount of deals offered, were not as varied as they once had been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I browsed the tables examining the other wares offered, I was stunned to see an SS-style knife, complete with swastika, for sale at a table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I traced the outline of the swastika with my finger, the very fat man behind the table began telling me about the knife and his other “World War II” collectibles, mostly from the losing side though.<br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But did this knife ever slay a Jew, I wonder?” I mumbled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fat man looked at me uneasily, a question he had apparently never considered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked off shaking my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The was not the last piece of Nazi paraphernalia that I would see for sale that day, nor was it the most disturbing item being sold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I couldn’t stop shaking it because I then found a table scatted with pins, bumper stickers, and T-shirts bearing “funny” statements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bumper stickers were ignorant, ideology and a basic grasp of the English language: “I HAD RATHER BE RIGHT, THEN POLITICALLY CORRECT [sic],”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“OBAMA-OSAMA, SAME!” and a button that read, “A VILLAGE IN KENYA IS MISSING ITS IDIOT” (Although this is a bastardization of a dig on Hillary Clinton as fallout from her “it takes a village” comment).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>It was there that I laid eyes on the T-Shirt that asked the question that started this column, “What would Jesus Shoot?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The answer, on the back, is “An AR-15.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spoke to the man selling the shirt and was amazed to discover that this shirt was designed WITHOUT irony in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />My friend was also wearing a t-shirt that read, “Marriage is SO gay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the most part of the day, most of the folks that read the shirt either didn’t get it or completely misinterpreted the meaning of the shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Said one mulleted man (or woman?) “Ha Marriage sure is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">gay</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Single is where it’s at!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I haggled with the man selling the shirt, I saw him notice her shirt and I could tell he GOT the joke: that she was wearing a pro-gay marriage t-shirt to their tea party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He chased after us to give her a free t-shirt, implying she should put it on immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> W</span>e left the gun show with a heavy heart and no guns or ammo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our beloved firearm pilgrimage had been taken over by extremists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">As always this troubling development in American society has roots in the conservative media web.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rush, Hannity, and all the usual suspects have hounded the President since the days of the Pennsylvania primary that he was an enemy to the 2<sup>nd</sup> Amendment and gun owners across the nation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, no one does this better than the current Prima Ballerina of the movement, Glenn Beck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">In February he interviewed the President of the company that owns his favorite shooting range.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So while giving the place free publicity and the promise that you might spy Beck himself there, their conversation served to scare the shit out of anyone listening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a brief moment when I thought Beck was going to be journalistically responsible saying that Obama was not going to “take away our guns,” but then added, “but he will make it impossible to own one.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>The huge moustache on the other side of Glenn Beck spouts off both that “Police can’t protect you,” and that the President was going to impose a 500% excise tax on guns and ammunition, a complete lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">There is no legislation in Congress or plans by the Obama Administration to increase the current 11% excise tax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, the only moves the Administration has made was to expand the rights of gun owners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With the proper permits, it is now legal to carry a loaded weapon into a National Park.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was the results of Amendments 1067 and 1058 in HR 627, The Credit Card Holders Bill of Rights, signed into law by the very “Kenyan village idiot” that they fear so greatly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my opinion, this is sensible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a National Park there are no beat cops or 911, and there are many animals, human or otherwise, that could lurk in those parks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">However, the words of fear that are spewed forth by these conservatives can have a harmful effect, that only serve to fuel the arguments of those who wish to restrict responsible gun ownership.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Richard Poplawski killed three Pittsburgh police officers responding to a domestic disturbance call after he violently argued with his mother about a pissing dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He shot two officers and then shot another officer, who was off-duty, who was just trying to retrieve his comrades for treatment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>When it was over, it was discovered that Poplawski feared that Obama was going to take his guns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He shared videos of Beck’s program talking about FEMA concentration camps, where the normally reasonable Ron Paul validated his nonsense for what is surely a political move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can practically see him compromising his integrity by saying the concern is justified.<br /><br />The segment I profiled earlier about guns and that the police weren’t protectors aired only 5 weeks before the shootings occurred.<o:p></o:p><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Like all national debates where the context is derived mostly from irresponsible coverage, it has gotten into the realm of the absurd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is impossible to reason with an argument that only speaks fear and paranoia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It poses to ignite fringe elements that instead of arming themselves with weed, bongos, and hugs actually arms themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unlike some of the clashes between the red and blue crowds, this one isn’t funny; it only promises tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone is worried about the President, when we all know the real threat looms on the horizon: Zombie Apocalypse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br /><br />(Originally Published on Matt's Naked Word in 2009. Edited for formatting/typos 2016)</div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-27148751543143696642010-10-19T05:51:00.000-07:002010-10-19T05:52:54.364-07:00Sitting Down For Equal Rights (Published on Matt's Naked Word, 12/2009<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Liberty and Justice For All: The Story of A 10 year-old boy with more courage than most grown men.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">By Joshua M. Patton.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is always inspiring to see an act of patriotism.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, who are the patriots?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What is it that defines that kind of love for your country?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The diplomatic answer is that there are many ways to define patriotism and that there is no such thing as perfect patriotism.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However as far back as the 17<sup>th</sup> century, English-speakers were debating about the meaning of this word.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What is consistent is a love of country.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Not necessarily a defender of the government and often used to describe a disturber of the government.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It has always been my belief is that patriotism is a combined love of country and a willingness to take to task the leaders of the country if they go astray.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I was in grade school, I remember standing up every morning and reciting our morning prayer, I went to a parochial school, and the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I did not think of it as indoctrination nor do I feel that it had any negative effect on me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In fact, it was more of a time to goof around and change up the words to see how foul one could make the pledge – and sometimes the prayer – before the teacher got wise to what we were up to.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However some kids listen to the words they have memorized and actually put some real meaning behind them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Will Phillips, a ten year-old boy for Arkansas is one of those kids.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">On a Monday morning in early October, Will made the decision that because he didn’t feel that the government was currently providing “liberty and justice <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">for all</i>,” that he was not going to stand and recite the daily pledge.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>To have been a fly on the wall to see the face of his substitute teacher when Will gave her what was surely a very reasoned argument for his civil disobedience.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the small amount of media that has covered this story, the child handles himself better than most interview subjects that have not yet hit puberty.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In the Arkansas Times he is quotes as saying that as his teacher grew more angry he was “fuming,” and I understand that.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Smart kids are often condescended to in the classroom, especially if they make a reasoned judgment that goes against the mainstream.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I recall innocently correcting a mistake a teacher made in a junior high classroom and was invited to “come up and teach the class.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The irony was lost on me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I assumed that this was some Robin Williams <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Dead Poets Society</i> teaching technique, although it would have been creepy to call this particular teacher, “My Captain.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When I stood, he lost his shit and in a spittle-laden fury I was sent to the Principal’s office.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My mother was of the mind that children have no rights, thus for my 18<sup>th</sup> birthday she only had to get me a copy of the Bill of Rights and perhaps an ice-cream cake.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Luckily for Will, the seeds of his dissent were planted by his parents and they continue to nurture what they have cultivated.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Laura and Jay Phillips have been straight supporters of many gay rights causes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Little Will has apparently grown up absent of the stigma that most children of religious households have towards homosexuals.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He did not see sinners, perverts, or any sort of abominations to the Lord, but people who were just like him.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And because this young man is already a measured and contemplative individual, he decided to take a stand, weak pun intended.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">During the only television interview of this kid that I have seen, he sat next to his father Jay.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>During an answer to the Muppet-like John Roberts, he explained that he told his teacher to jump off of a bridge “solemnly and with a little malice in his voice.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His father buries his face in mock exasperation, but before that I noticed an expression I was very familiar with because I wear it often.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is the expression that comes over a parent’s face when he or she realizes that one day their child is going to be far more intelligent than they ever were.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I first heard of this story, I was watching the John Roberts segment.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When I listened to the careful and articulate answers of this 10 year-old patriot, I practically welled up.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We are a nation that is hungry for leaders.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once the progressive leaders in this country started getting killed off and publicly disgraced, we have had a hard time finding a person to rally around.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We stand around waiting for the next Dr. King or RFK.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is how President Obama won the White House, by sounding like someone who could lead us like progressive, efficient sheep.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Will Phillips is no sheep.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This young man believes so much in his rights as an American that he dared exercise them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He believes that the daily pledges of children to the Flag, to the country, matter and come at a price.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He was as aghast as I was when John Roberts asked him what a “gaywad” was.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His answer was perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I wonder if he only told them he was called that because he felt it would be inappropriate to say “fag” on the cable news channel.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Gaywad can’t be the go-to insult for kids today, can it?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I was in parochial school, we would get in trouble for calling someone what in Britain would get you a cigarette.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, the admonishments from the teachers were not because we were using derogatory language, but instead we warned not to call someone such a “terrible thing.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The implication being that it was an appropriate word in certain places the way that “bitch” is appropriate at a dog show.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the words of wrestler Mick Foley, when on Comedy Central, “Will Phillips is a great American.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And it’s true.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He is a young man that briefly captured the attention span of the media and got “exclusive”-ed out of the news cycle.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His story stays alive on the internet, but I wonder how he is doing today?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>While I respect his courage, I hope he can lay low and get through school, becoming a lawyer and fighting the good fight.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I hope he stays off the radar for awhile and gets to be a kid for a bit longer, but not too much longer.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>America sometimes likes to eat its young.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-54521179436574712522010-10-14T15:01:00.000-07:002010-10-14T15:04:31.230-07:00Farce News - Published at MattsNakedWord.com 11/2009<p class="MsoNormal">When does news become comedy or vice versa?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The way I have watched the news in recent years is to watch all three of the big cable networks, take it to the Internet, and try to determine what part of the various reports are news and what parts of it are bullshit.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The three cable news networks suit this manner of watching the news perfectly.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>CNN is always a good place to start, because they try to fit as many stories into one block of programming as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However, this leaves their discussions – specifically between the anchors and the pundits – to only scratch the surface of any significant story.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>MSNBC is clearly in the blue corner as most of their coverage is mostly favorable to the mainstream democratic agenda, Pat Buchannan notwithstanding.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They do not really hide their bias, but I feel they are rather responsible in presenting the issue before they start pontificating.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Their snide remarks can be rather witty and perhaps after a few years, it will become more of a serious outlet.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And that leaves us with Fox News.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So when does comedy become news?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The answer I would offer is when comedians have more integrity than the newscasters when it comes to truth-telling.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>To be fair, the truth is the basis for all great comedy or satire and unfortunately the same cannot be said about journalism.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Two of the most renowned names in journalism, Pulitzer and Hearst, sensationalized stories and sometimes wrote outright lies to boost their circulation.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This practice in journalism is largely credited for drawing the United States into the Spanish-American War, to liberate the Spanish colonies from Spain.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It seems as if this is the business model of Fox News and it is working so effectively that Hearst and Pulitzer are either rolling in their graves or sporting huge boners.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">For over 10 years, Comedy Central has made a late-night daily news satire the foundation of their entire primetime line-up.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Since Jon Stewart and his staff have taken the helm of the show, the show became a mockery of all that is terrible about the news and the newsmakers.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It was on the night of November 10, 2009 that The Daily Show may have ascended to the level of shows that it often satirizes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A clip from the Sean Hannity program was played where he and Congressional moron Michelle Bachmann discussed a rally that she held last week against healthcare.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Footage played over their conversation and the first piece showed a few groups of people trickling towards the rally site on a clear fall day.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Then with only the word, “Earlier” in the upper-left of the screen, a multitude of people were shown, however the trees and the sky were different from the first clip.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>At one point, Hannity comments about the respectable size of the crowd “for a Thursday.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It didn’t stop there.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The eagle-eyed staff at The Daily Show was able to discover when the exact same clip of video was shown: during a segment on the Glenn Beck program.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The exact same shots of the crowd were shown at what was actually a tea-bagger rally.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Hannity claimed it was an accident, taking only a few seconds at the end of his program to address the issue.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Typically the problem many have with Fox News is that it skews events so that it best fits in with the particular narrative they are trying to deliver rather than analysis of the events of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However to deliberately mislead the viewing audience is perhaps the worst kind of Yellow Journalism. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">While it makes me feel a little dirty to view it, I don’t actually mind the insertion of opinion into any news story, even on Fox News. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Journalism is the watchdog of democracy and it requires two distinct elements to fulfill its responsibility to the average American.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The first is that there be clear and factual coverage of the events of the day, regardless of the subject matter.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As such, the perfect combination would be a mixture of facts, eyewitness reports, and/or interviews with the newsmakers themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The second leg of journalism is the pundits.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Their opinions and analysis serve to explain the news that was just delivered so that the average American could understand them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A successful version of this would be a discussion between two reasonable people on either side of an issue moderated by an anchor with only the agenda of equal exposure in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sadly, that formula does not translate into huge ratings and advertising dollars.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Thus the sensationalism and the general overtones of fear that seems to permeate throughout all of Fox News.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Glenn Beck may be almost certifiably insane, but he knows how to work this formula.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>From his Strangelovian segment called “The War Room,” to his chalkboard talking points that often spell a word that explains what exactly is so terrifying.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>For example, in one of these sessions he had written a number of things on the board and began to circle the first letters of each word.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Soon at the top of the board were the letters, O-L-I-G-A-R-H.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He then said that there was one letter missing, so I thought the absence of the letter “C” was, inexplicably, on purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He then writes a letter “Y” on the board, presumably for “Oligarchy.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Later, when trying to explain this particular error, rather than laughing it off as a goof, he explains that he also intentionally left off the C because of all of President Obama’s “czars.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A “czar” is in charge of a particular government initiative, a position in the administration pioneered in a white cowboy hat by none other than the Gipper himself.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">While the original meaning of “the fourth estate,” referred to the press against the other three estates of clergy, nobles, and commoners, an effective press is essentially a third branch of the government.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Sadly, it seems that the fourth estate has become nothing other than a sorority reality show.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>How soon until he have the first season of “Who Wants to Be A Legislator?” where contestants go through challenges to earn a place on the ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No one votes in primary elections anyways; why not make it easier by dialing in your vote each week?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Joke though this may be, we would at least get to see the core of these slick bastards that have the highest political ambitions.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Who breaks what alliances?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Which one drinks too much?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And imagine the hook-ups!<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Instead we have journalists that repeat talking points given by political handlers and freely admit that what they are reporting is “spin.” <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So it is up to comedians like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Bill Maher to ask the important questions that are not being asked by the mainstream media.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However for those that aren’t fans of this type of comedy, are missing a significant part of the story outside of the pre-determined narrative that the producers of these news organizations are paid the big money to dream up or at least transcribe what is given to them in a hand-delivered parchment signed in the blood of the poor or the wealthy.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Thus a parasitic vine of influence has wound itself deep within the Legislative, Executive, and even Judicial branches of government, it has also found its way into the media.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Religion and simple lust for power are all contributors to this problem, but without money the other two are powerless.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Using a scheme that depends on lobbyists in Washington and the might of lucrative advertisers, it is becoming increasingly easier to buy a network.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Network News in fact, the hulking giant of news that is increasingly becoming irrelevant, is struggling to remain relevant and that translates into trouble turning a profit.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Of course profit is the business of business and it isn’t as if publicly financed media would make much sense.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No the actual people to blame are everyday average Americans.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The disinterest in political and current events, media laziness if you will, created a hole in the market that can only be filled by a large, snarling beast with blood on its teeth and coupons in its hands.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We asked for this by skipping civics in high school, if you’re high school even offered the course.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We asked for this because rather than take time to watch what is happening in reality, we escape to the reality of others in programming that rarely, if ever, looks is comparable to our reality.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I believe in freedom of the press very deeply, that includes the freedom of certain media outlets to consist of only the opinions of bastards and assholes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Still there is a responsibility to the profession of journalism that seems to have been shoved into the corner, perhaps because of the influx of non-journalists getting the microphone for hours a day.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The press has a duty to inform the people about what is happening and we the people have a responsibility to stay informed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>That dirty, God-hating, Communist Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “Rules are not sacred, principles are.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is okay to break the rules in journalism and honestly the best journalism usually comes from breaking the rules.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet it is not okay to deviate from the basic principles inherent in responsible journalism: to educate, to inform, and to explain.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The goal of this column, this site, this entire movement of which Naked World Post is but a small part, is for the people of this country to be fairly represented in the halls of Congress and in print and on the airwaves.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We don’t have time for bullshit or the pageantry of the whole relationship between politics and the media.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A site like this is the best place for that.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>After this article there is a comment section where after you read this, you can add to the discussion.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s democratic media.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Join me each week to either examine what stories have been either gotten wrong in the media or not told at all.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is not all gloom and doom, my friends. I believe in this country and its people, one of the reasons I served in the military.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>To criticize one’s country and its officials is the exact opposite of un-American; it is practically patriotic as long as it is based on reason and solid moral or ethical ground.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-39366650232932119452010-09-24T22:56:00.000-07:002010-09-24T23:06:38.129-07:00A Stab At Fiction: Hurricane JillicaThanks to the GI Bill, I am back to school working to finish my undergraduate degree. After many different majors, I have finally decided to be broke, but happy, with my English degree. Thus, I am awarded the opportunity to take a fiction class. I have always thought of fiction as a flight of fancy - from a writer's perspective - and have only indulged in it a handful of times. <div><br /></div><div>At Pitt, however, they make you pigeon-hole yourself into one area of English: fiction/non-fiction writing, Literature, or writing for business. I am trying out both fiction and non-fiction, and while non-fiction seems to be a better fit, I thought it might be fun to share my fiction as I work through the assigned exercises. I would welcome your feedback as my specific goal with this story is to write an authentic female main character. The majority of folks in the class seem to give a shit less about the writing process and more about resenting the early hour of the class or sounding like a writer in front of the professor (myself included). </div><div><br /></div><div>This is the third exercise we did for this class. The instructions were to write the same scene from three different narrative points-of-view. Enjoy.</div><div><br /></div><div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Joshua M. Patton<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Introduction to Writing Fiction<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Writing Exercise #3<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Hurricane Jillica<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">First-Person<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>I glanced down at my watch and I had 20 minutes until the meeting and, after last night, I needed some coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As I took the empty elevator down to Dominican Dave’s, the newsstand and barista in the lobby of our building.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The elevator doors whisked open breaking the simple silence and I think for a moment that I wouldn’t have minded being stuck in the elevator for the afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once I passed the elevator bank, I stopped as I watched the new security guard try to flirt with Jillica.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“JILL-ica?” The security guard said with a flirty tone as he held her ID card up to the light.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“It’s pronounced YILL-ica, asshole.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He looked startled, she continued, “Don’t be shocked, some of us actually have jobs that extend beyond a particle-board podium so if you are done staring at my tits, can I go?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I see my colleague.” She gestured toward me and I tried to appear sympathetic to the poor guard when looked over at me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Jillica is gorgeous.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Smooth skin, nice figure, meticulously-styled hair (not better than mine, but that is why we can be friends).<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>She worked very hard to appear effortlessly beautiful and she often succeeded much to my ire when I have a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">fat day</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Hey bitch,” Jillica greeted me with her face planted in her multi-colored rhinestone-studded smartphone, “buy you a coffee?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>I shrugged and walked into the store and immediately into the line.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It was small and cramped, stuffed with books and magazines in the aisles, but the counter was packed with pastries and coffee accessories.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I watched Dave move quickly to take the order, fill it, and ring up the customers to shrink the line with a fervor I never saw when I worked retail.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Tell me you have something good for today’s meeting,” Jillica implored, “I have nothing to present.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>All of the dependable designers are churning out crap this year.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s like I’m starting from scratch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But I did find some really slutty Halloween costumes for next quarter.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“I’ve got some things, our department will be fine.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I actually had a big presentation planned, but I didn’t want to tip my hand.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Elaine Torgoff, the vice-president tapped to replace the head of the purchasing department would be there and I wanted her to notice me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Thank God,” Jillica said, trying to discreetly break off a piece of a giant oatmeal cookie cooling on a tray.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave, even though working on the customer directly in front of them, noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Hey Miss!” he yelled in his lightly accented voice, “How many times I gotta tell you?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No sampling!”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica slowly turned her head to face him, the old man looking at her at first with a look of disdain, quickly replaced by a look of fear.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Her blazing blue eyes bored directly into the center of Dave’s forehead, his stern expression fell.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Do they have ‘the customer is ALWAYS right’ in your country?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>How much money do I spend in here?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">cheap. Raghead. FUCK.</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica panted dramatically, her ample cleavage heaving.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave’s eyes were transfixed, the insult disregarded, if even heard at all.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Dave.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave!” I snapped my fingers, he snapped to meet my gaze, “Two cookies and two lattés.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Then to Jillica, “This one’s on me. Why not wait outside?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica glared at Dave again and walked off cursing him in Spanish.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave looked back at me, these insults he heard.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Doesn’t she know I speak <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">espanol?</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Second Person<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">You glance down at your watch and see that you have 20 minutes until the meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You decide to get some coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The elevator is empty on the way down to the lobby and you are thankful for the moment of solitude.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Especially after being up so late arguing with Conrad.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You feel a twinge of disappointment that he didn’t even care how important this meeting was for your career.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The elevator’s doors slide open, pulling you out of your thoughts and you round the corner to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Dominican Dave’s</i>, the newsstand and barista in the lobby of the building.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Before you can walk into the store, you see your associate Jillica stopped at the security desk by what looks like a new guy.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You hope that he isn’t trying to flirt with her.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“JILL-ica?” He say to her.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You chuckle quietly to yourself when you hear his flirty tone of voice.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Your friend is beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On good days you appreciate how much work she does to make her beauty appear effortless.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On bad days, you try to find one flaw to pick on all day, passive-agressively of course, usually your hair.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“It’s pronounced YILL-ica, asshole.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Some of us have jobs that extend beyond a particleboard podium, so if you are done staring at my tits, can I go?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I see my colleague.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The guard turns a disappointed face to your direction and you try to wear a sympathetic look, even though once he turns back your expression turns into a bemused grin.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Hey bitch, buy you a coffee?” Jillica asks you when she joins you, looking not at you but engrossed in whatever she was doing on her glitzy, rhinestone-bedazzled smartphone.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>You agree and walk into the small, cramped store.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There are only two people in front of you, but the small space is so crammed with books, newspapers, and magazines kept things tight.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A tray of oatmeal cookies lay cooling on the pastry case on the counter, the rest of which was covered with coffee supplies and accessories.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave works intensely and you respect how quickly he is working.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Tell me you have something good for today’s meeting,” Jillica says to you, ““I have nothing to present.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>All of the dependable designers are churning out crap this year.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s like I’m starting from scratch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But I did find some really slutty Halloween costumes for next quarter.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“I’ve got some things, our department will be fine.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You didn’t want to tip my hand to Jillica, but you hoped to impress Elaine Torgoff, the vice-president tapped to replace the head of the purchasing department.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Thank God,” Jillica says, discreetly breaking off a piece of a cookie..<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Hey Miss!” Dave yells in his lightly accented voice, “How many times I gotta tell you?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No sampling!”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>You watch Jillica’s blue eyes blaze and her expression makes both Dave and the lawyerly customer in front of you look fearful.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Do they have ‘the customer is ALWAYS right’ in your country?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>How much money do I spend in here?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">cheap. Raghead. FUCK.</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>You close your eyes, slightly embarrassed at her outburst.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When you open them, you see that Dave’s gaze is firmly entrenched in Jillica’s ample cleavage, heaving dramatically after her tirade. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Dave.” You say.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He doesn’t respond.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You snap your fingers and again call his name.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He snaps his head to face you, and you tell him, “Two cookies and two lattes, please.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Then to Jillica, “Wait outside, this one is on me.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica mumbles insults in Spanish under her breath as she walks away.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Ironically, Dave notices this one.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He looks at you helplessly and asks, “Doesn’t she know I speak <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">espanol</i>?”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You feel the smile again pulling at the corners of your lips.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">If you compliment Dave on his work ethic, Turn to Page 64.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">If you tell him to mess up Jillica’s drink, Turn to Page 112.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Third Person<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Susan glanced down at her watch and saw that she had 20 minutes until the meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The argument with Conrad last night had drained her more than she would ever admit to him.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>With the presentation she had planned for today, she decided to get a coffee with her time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The elevator arrived on her floor almost immediately and it was blissfully empty.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Susan reflected on the presentation, pushing aside all thoughts of Conrad and their problems.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The elevator doors whisked open too soon.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>With a deep breath, Susan exited the lift and walked past the elevator bank toward <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Dominican Dave’s</i> the newsstand and barista in the lobby of her building.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;">Before Susan could go into the tiny store, she spotted Jillica, another purchaser for the company, being delayed by a new security guard.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Jillica was gorgeous: dark, smooth skin; a beautiful figure; original, flattering clothes; and crisp, blazing blue eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On good days, Susan could appreciate how much work she did to appear so effortlessly beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On bad days, Susan would often find a flaw in her armor, usually her hair, and throw underhanded jibes her way all day.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Today, however, the security guard was going to get a taste of what Susan liked to call “Hurricane Jillica.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“JILL-ica?” The security guard said with a flirty tone as he held her ID card up to the light.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“It’s pronounced YILL-ica, asshole.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He looked startled, she continued, “Don’t be shocked, some of us actually have jobs that extend beyond a particle-board podium so if you are done staring at my tits, can I go?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I see my colleague.” She gestured toward Susan and she tried to appear sympathetic to the poor guard when their eyes met.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When he turned back, Susan smiled and her friend approached her.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Hey bitch,” Jillica said, her face planted in her multi-colored rhinestone-studded smartphone, “buy you a coffee?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Susan shrugged and they walked into the store and immediately into the line.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It was small and cramped, stuffed with books and magazines in the aisles, but the counter was packed with pastries and coffee accessories.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A tray of freshly-baked giant oatmeal cookies lay cooling on top of the pastry case.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Susan watched Dave move quickly to take the orders, fill them, and ring up the customers to shrink the line with a fervor she never saw when she worked in retail.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Tell me you have something good for today’s meeting,” Jillica implored, “I have nothing to present.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>All of the dependable designers are churning out crap this year.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s like I’m starting from scratch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But I did find some really slutty Halloween costumes for next quarter.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“I’ve got some things, our department will be fine.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Susan didn’t want to tip her hand.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Elaine Torgoff, the vice-president tapped to replace the head of the purchasing department would be there.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Susan wanted to be noticed. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Thank God,” Jillica said, trying to discreetly break off a piece of cookie.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave, even though working on the customer directly in front of them, noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Hey Miss!” he yelled in his lightly accented voice, “How many times I gotta tell you?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No sampling!”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica slowly turned her head to face him, the old man looking at her at first with a look of disdain, quickly replaced by a look of fear.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Her blazing blue eyes bored directly into the center of Dave’s forehead, his stern expression fell.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Do they have ‘the customer is ALWAYS right’ in your country?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>How much money do I spend in here?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">cheap. Raghead. FUCK.</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica panted dramatically, her ample cleavage heaving.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave’s eyes were transfixed, the insult disregarded, if even heard at all.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>“Dave.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave!” Susan snapped her fingers, he snapped his head towards her, “Two cookies and two lattés.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Then to Jillica, “This one’s on me. Why not wait outside?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1"> </span>Jillica glared at Dave again and walked off cursing him in Spanish.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dave looked crestfallen, these insults he heard.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Doesn’t she know I speak <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">espanol?</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:200%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:200%;font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p></div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-22502849354521485852010-09-18T10:41:00.000-07:002010-09-18T10:44:56.776-07:00Letter to the EditorSo in a whiskey-induced rage, I rang off a letter to the editor of the student newspaper at Pitt because there was an editorial about why the Park51 Islamic Center should be moved. It was originally longer.<div><br /></div><div>This is the condensed letter: <a href="http://pittnews.com/newsstory/letter-to-the-editor-95/">http://pittnews.com/newsstory/letter-to-the-editor-95/</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Below you shall find my full-length text. </div><div><br /></div><div>JMP<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal">Dear Editors of Pitt News, Steve K, et. al. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am greatly disappointed to see this column as both a new student to the Pitt campus and, as such, a first-time regular reader of the <i>Pitt News</i>. I am an Iraq war veteran and, while I knew no one personally that perished on 9/11/2001, I do know far too many friends and colleagues who have died on their behalf. To the families of the victims of those attacks this is an emotional subject, because to them those attacks were not levied against this nation, but against their very families. Because of such a close emotional connection, their input into this debate should be tactfully and respectfully <i>disregarded</i>. This is not Ground Zero, the former site of the World Trade Center, but in fact a run-down Burlington Coat Factory in a neighborhood that has practically been abandoned for a decade. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">To correlate what I mean about disregarding the opinions of the victims’ families in what has become the type of issue the First Amendment was designed for, I would compare it to my feelings for the Westboro Baptist Church and the families of the funerals they protest. I value the protection of the First Amendment and still proudly defend it. Yet I would deny it to those sign-carrying swine who would protest a veteran’s funeral, probably while also violating the rights preventing against “cruel and unusual punishment. I am far too emotional about this issue to think rationally.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Whether or not you think we are at war against Islam, the “hearts and minds” we are so desperately trying to win are Islamic hearts and Muslim minds. The tragic irony is that Imam Feisel Abdul Rauf and his followers are Sufi, the exact sort of liberal-minded Muslim we should be courting in order to win the greatest battle in any war against terror, a battle that will not be fought with soldiers or guns or bombs. Even the Bush Administration got that part right. Terry Jones threatened to burn the Quran and thousands of miles away in Afghanistan, two people he would have never met anyway died in protests against the mere threat. This sort of thinking proves the philosophy of the extremists correct: that Americans equate “enemy” with “Islam.” But it isn’t just Islam, either. There is a Catholic Church, St. Nicholas, that sat directly across the street from Ground Zero and was annihilated when the towers fell. This debate has caused that project to stall as well, because if Park51 is ultimately moved, it could mean doom for not just this church but for some essential American principles.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Respectfully,<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Joshua M. Patton<o:p></o:p></p></div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-18217960160637264292010-08-20T11:29:00.000-07:002010-08-20T11:32:43.526-07:00Everyone loves a little side-boob....Hey all,<div><br /></div><div>The latest issue of <a href="http://www.sexappealmagazine.com">Sex Appeal Magazine</a> has hit the digital stands. This is a great urban magazine that spends its time examining issues that are taboo in the culture. There are also great pictures of really sexy women...you gotta love that right?</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, check it out. On page 66-67, you can read my take on Goldman Sachs. Res Ipsa Loquitor. </div><div><br /></div><div>JMP</div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-30081432896621449392010-08-10T12:48:00.000-07:002010-08-13T13:42:54.356-07:00Hey all, it has been a long, long time since I composed anything for this sad little weblog of mine, but this is not because I haven't been staying busy. <div><br /></div><div>I have been writing missions for a video game about Atlantis that should soon be flooding and drowning the fake Farms of the internet with shark-riders with spear-guns blazing. More info on that as it becomes available.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am also really excited to announce that I have joined the staff of <a href="http://www.veteranjournal.com/">VeteranJournal.com</a> and will be contributing about three short articles per week, so please check it soon and often.</div><div><br /></div><div>Enjoy the rest of the summer!</div><div><br /></div><div>JMP</div><div><br /></div><div>UPDATE: Here is the link to my first published piece: <a href="http://www.veteranjournal.com/no-response-for-responders/">http://www.veteranjournal.com/no-response-for-responders/</a></div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-33902491297584706972010-07-09T07:36:00.001-07:002010-07-09T07:39:00.067-07:00Pitt in Ireland - Sports writing sample.<p class="MsoPlainText">Panthers Invade the Emerald Isle</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">By Joshua M. Patton</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">The green shores of Ireland, now part-time home to Noted Yinzer Ambassador Dan Rooney, will welcome the University of Pittsburgh men’s basketball team for a whirlwind tour of games and goodwill that will take them to Cork, Dublin, and Belfast.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dan Rooney might be the only one anticipating the arrival of the Panthers with any significant excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Basketball is an emerging sport in Ireland with only a few nationally televised games per year.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Still, Pitt will be taking on an international consortium of assess to kick on the court.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">The nature and tenor of the visit is touted as an exercise in goodwill and international athletic brotherhood, which in part it is.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However one only has to read between the lines when head coach Jamie Dixon says that “from a basketball perspective, this is an outstanding opportunity for our team to get an early start on the season.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Panthers will maintain a normal practice schedule in-between games, sightseeing, and events.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However, they will face four Irish teams and should win handily.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There greatest challenge follows, the dreaded Melbourne Tigers, a professional Australian team that has won championships in their home country.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The six-game tour is then closed out in Dublin as they face the English National Team, formidable I’m sure, but not as cohesive a unit as Dixon hopes his Panthers will be.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><o:p> </o:p>The good news is that even if the locals, the Brits, and the Tigers mop up the gym floor with the Panthers – perhaps too tired from sightseeing, normal practice, and “shagging,” to really put forth the effort – it is a great way to break up the monotony of a normal NCAA season.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Panthers are typically in and out of a town faster than a late-night visit to a reverend’s daughter, no matter what the outcome of the games, they will have an uplifting experience on the other end of the tour.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><o:p> </o:p>They will be visiting UPMC facilities in Ireland, to include the Children’s Hospital Dublin Branch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They will also be doing some work of worth with Peace Players International, an organization that tries to keep Protestant and Catholic children from attempting to kill each other and settle their squabbles through triple-doubles and athletic competition.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And the Panthers need the fun, Utah is their first opponent and it is undoubtedly the toughest opening bout in the Big East.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Erin Go Big or Go Bragh.</p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-8221014237314127912010-06-11T12:02:00.001-07:002010-06-11T12:13:44.415-07:00THIS JUST IN: Second Coming of Christ Interrupted by Border WatchDogsThis idea came to me and struck me as funny. I thought this might be something I could use to perhaps start working with the brilliant writers at <a href="http://theonion.com">The Onion</a>. Alas, they do not consider freelance submissions. Thus, their loss is your gain, my dozens of readers.... <div><br /></div><div><p class="MsoNormal">TEMPE, AZ – Citizens were startled earlier today when trumpets heralded the second-coming of the Messiah, Jesus Christ. Immediately after descending into town, apparently from Heaven, the Son of Man began to assist some poor migrant workers attempting to repair their ramshackle hut with a paltry supply of materials. By the time Jesus was through, they had built a ten-room, 9000 square foot mansion in a 1500 square foot lot. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Said George Washington Smith, one of the carpenters on the scene, “Thees man, he take our boards, make more boards. Very nice. I citizen though, I vote Tea Party, yes?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Edna Whipplesnatch, a local border-watch volunteer and registered Libertarian, called the police when she heard the angelic trumpets, thinking they were a novelty car horn. “It wasn’t that dreadful ‘cook-a-roochya’ that they usually have, but I figured anyone with a horn like that on their car is worth a second look.” </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Officer Jimmy “Spoony” Davis was the arresting officer and first on the scene. “When I arrived on the scene a group of illegals…I mean residents, were finishing a structure that obviously violated building code, so I started asking for I.D.” The majority of the group immediately fled, but He Is the He Is stayed to speak with the officer. “He just kept rambling on and on about how we were all brothers, so I knew he was obviously on marijuana.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>The Christ was tasered for assaulting an officer when after Jesus said he could “sense his affliction,” touched the hip of the officer, healing his chronic life-long arthritis. However Officer Davis assumed he was going for his gun or nightstick. “I feel great, so I am thankful for that. But you just don’t TOUCH the police. I’d taser him again, if I had to. Shit, if I woulda shot him, he'd been resurrected by the weekend, you know?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Jesus has been deported to Mexico. His whereabouts are unknown, however the drug war has ceased and lands that once bore no vegetation are teeming with trees where the birds of the air come to make nests in its branches. Says Edna, “I am a little embarrassed to have had the King of Kings deported, but I will be more than willing to accept Jesus Christ’s salvation, AFTER he goes through the proper immigration process.”</p></div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-69963921063071974722010-06-05T06:32:00.001-07:002010-06-07T10:07:04.200-07:00Primarily Broken - 400 words on Proposition 14 in California<div>Proposition 14: The End of Democracy or the Beginning of a New Politics?</div><div>by Joshua M. Patton</div><div><br /></div>California is often said to be where new ideas are field-tested in America and an initiative to reform elections will be the next idea put to the test in the statewide election on June 8, 2010. Dubbed “Proposition 14,” the measure seeks to reform the way primary elections are decided in that state. By taking the power to elect away from political party nominating committees and placing it directly in the hands of the voters, the system mimics those used to elect officials in Los Angeles and bears striking similarities to the non-partisan blanket primary system currently used in Louisiana. This ballot-initiative is not without controversy.<br /><br />That the controversy and hyperbole comes from the political party establishments that would no longer nominate a candidate is not surprising. What is unexpected however is that it seems the only thing that can unite Republicans, Democrats, and even the Green parties is the threat of a reduction in their power. According to the Los Angeles Times, this coalition referred to Proposition 14 as “the end of Democracy in California.”<br /><br />One of the problems with primary elections is that typically only the fringes and more extreme supporters of the parties even participate in the vote. This formula can possibly result in the unfortunate circumstance of a candidate winning the primary that would most likely lose a general election match-up. Under the current laws, the party bosses could disregard the will of the voters and nominate whomever they think has the best chance of winning the general election.<br /><br />Proposition 14 would give the power of nomination directly to the voters. The two candidates that receive the highest number of votes would go on to the general election regardless of their political parties. Similarly, the voters themselves could vote for any candidate regardless of their stated party or lack thereof. There are of course measures in place for runoff elections in the event of a tie. Still the debate rages on as to whether or not this will diminish the effectiveness of third parties or if it will allow one party to gain a stranglehold on the state. By June 8, the voters will vote to maintain the status quo or they will seize control of their primary and general elections from the hands of dealmakers in smoke-free backrooms.Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-83640423932753231802010-06-05T06:28:00.001-07:002010-06-05T06:31:58.148-07:00400 More words on the LOST finaleBelow is a "writing sample" I wrote and submitted to perhaps land an advertised gig, only to discover that they were willing to pay me all of $2.<div><br /></div><div>Finally Finale</div><div>By Joshua M. Patton<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div><div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:Consolas; mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">On May 23, 2010, an era of television ended, perhaps for good.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The series finale of LOST aired to a viewing audience of over 18 million people after six years of character-stories, myth, and mystery.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet this day did not just mark the end of an ambitious and riveting television show, but perhaps marked the passing of the big-budget serialized-drama on the broadcast network.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The LOST finale is on-track to be the highest-rated scripted finale this year, but was the profit high enough to justify the exorbitant price-tag of the show?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The two-hour pilot of LOST was the most expensive in television history costing ABC between $11 and $14 million.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Although HBO’s <i>Boardwalk Empire</i> may cost that network over four times that amount according The New York Post.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The beleaguered broadcast industry cannot keep pace with creative spending of that magnitude.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Consolas; font-size: 14px; ">However, throughout the season, LOST rarely beat American Idol in the ratings – a show far less expensive to produce or NCIS – a procedural police drama of self-contained episodes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>LOST, like other critically-acclaimed darling, but ratings-failure Arrested Development, was not a show that the casual viewer could start watching halfway through a season.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The plotlines of the show were interwoven with character vignettes that simultaneously advanced the greater story arc of the season.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Still ABC made every effort to give the casual viewer a chance to glean all of the necessary information needed about the show to enjoy the finale by devoting their entire weekend to LOST.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Consolas; font-size: 14px; ">On Saturday, May 22, 2010, ABC re-aired an enhanced version of the pilot episode of LOST.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>While the story played subtitled information about the characters, the mythology, and plot of the show relevant to the action like Pop-Up Videos for the BlackBerry and Twitter age.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The following day, a two-hour series retrospective with interviews with the cast and creators of the show highlighted the story and some of the more iconic scenes from the series, such as when Terry O’Quinn and Matthew Fox argue over science and faith. Show-runners and head writers, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse were on hand, but series creator and director of the pilot J.J. Abrams was noticeably absent.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>After the two-and-a-half-hour finale, Lost superfan Jimmy Kimmel dedicated his entire show following the finale to say goodbye to LOST and perhaps closing the book on the serialized drama on network television.</span></p></div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-73263428652738026542010-05-30T17:35:00.000-07:002010-05-30T17:38:24.363-07:00Thoughts on the LOST FinaleAs a fan of the show LOST, I discovered within that community a number of people who had a flair for writing that was fueled solely by their passions for the show. They provided theories and recaps of the episodes and helped those confused at the end of each week to put their thoughts in order....and also talked some major NONSENSE.<div><br /></div><div>Still here is a collection of their thoughts, but be warned the first guy on there is really long-winded.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://karenslostnotebook.blogspot.com/2010/05/lost-conversations.html">Karen's Lost Notebook: LOST Conversations</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Enjoy and Namaste.</div><div><br /></div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-15730678108043959302010-05-29T12:50:00.001-07:002010-05-29T12:50:19.663-07:00Memorial Day: Bigger Than What You Believe<span xmlns=''><p>I was recently employed by the government for the second time in my life. The first time I received tax dollars for salary (which oddly is still taxed) was when I began my 8-year enlistment in the United States Army Reserves. I was just a college student then, well a first-time college student, and after a deployment to Bosnia-Herzegovina in 1999-2000, I had really gotten used to cashing full-time paychecks. My girlfriend at the time had gotten a job for the 2000 Census as an enumerator. It seemed like a pretty sweet gig, so now that I find myself ten years later as a college student in need of a job, I decided to give the 2010 Census a whirl. We have to meet most everyday with our supervisors and it was at one of these meetings that I decided to stretch out the time on the timecard (sorry taxpayers, get 'em to pay me by the project and not the hour next time), I began a little small talk.<br /></p><p>"Anyone have any Memorial Day plans?" I asked the two women pouring over timecards and questionnaires, one below drinking age the other significantly past it, ironically it is my suspicion that the underage girl drinks and the overage woman does not. I digress. <br /></p><p>"Do you mean <em>real</em> Memorial Day plans, like cookouts or something?" the older woman asked.<br /></p><p>I thought about this for a moment and said, "No. I guess if I were to call any sort of plans "real" Memorial Day plans it would be going to a graveyard or some sort of service honoring the Vets. I meant more like cookouts or something."<br /></p><p>The older woman looked up from her paperwork at me and it seemed that she was trying to comprehend why on earth I would suggest something as morbid as visiting a graveyard on Memorial Day, but then it hit her. And that is the way it goes with most people when it comes to this holiday, myself included. Before I enlisted, I had no real thoughts at all on what the significance of Memorial Day was and often I was still in my winter mode where all I want to do is stay in and read books rather than go out and frolic in the sun. <br /></p><p>Now that I am older, I do understand the significance and importance of this day, especially since we have been a country at war since the onset of the 21<sup>st</sup> Century. Yet, I abhor graveyards and the typical American funerary practices. I think that funeral directors, in their spacious mansions where 15% of the rooms are filled with dead bodies, are swine and slime and exploit the grieving. Who wouldn't want the best for someone loved that has dearly departed, thus air-tight, water-proof caskets with DVD drop down screens and a nightlight are pushed upon those who in a more rational moment probably had that kind of money to spend because they are good at avoiding ridiculous purchases such as this. But I digress yet again, and this is a topic for another time because when a loved one sacrifices himself or herself while wearing the military uniform, that sort of sacrifice deserves every honor and ritual available. <br /></p><p>Paul Rieckhoff is the executive director of the <a href='http://www.iava.org/'>Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America</a> and has written <a href='http://iava.org/blog/memorial-day-one-holiday-two-countries'>a very moving piece</a> about the significance of Memorial Day. And with all due respect to Paul, I disagree with him slightly on this because I think that the President could do more to honor the sacrifice of those veterans in more proactive ways. Although this might just be a result of my odd and perhaps nihilistic view of how we grieve for and honor our dead. I do agree with Paul's sentiments and remain ever grateful that we veterans have such a passionate ally. The sacrifices made by those in defense of the nation, whether it was for the idealism behind the drive to defeat the Nazi's or in support of a more questionable conflict, the sacrifices were made for individuals. From the heroes' own mothers, fathers, wives, children to a stranger on the bus, these sacrifices made for them were, by extension, made for all of us. And so it is our duty to honor them in any way we can, so that if we ever do enter into an era of peace, those who are fortunate enough to only know that will be able to measure the cost of this peace and how precious it will be to maintain.<br /></p><p>I remain eternally thankful to my brothers- and sisters-in-arms that have protected their homes, their family, their neighbors with their very lives. It's okay to celebrate the freedom and community we get to enjoy because of these sacrifices with cookouts, picnics, or hell, even buying mattresses. The point is to remember why it is we celebrate today and that for some, this celebration will be eternally filled with tears. </p></span>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-9177031160364449192010-05-26T07:49:00.000-07:002010-05-26T14:25:16.855-07:00The Ploy of Sext: A Warning and A Guide to the Art of Karma Cell-tra: NOW AT TWODAYMAG.COMHey all,<div><br /></div><div>My favorite online magazine about relationships is back online and better than ever! Click on the link below to read part one of my article about "Sexting."</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.twodaymag.com/live/view/the-ploy-of-sext-a-warning-and-guide-to-the-art-of-karma-cell-tra">http://www.twodaymag.com/live/view/the-ploy-of-sext-a-warning-and-guide-to-the-art-of-karma-cell-tra</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Namaste....</div><div><br /></div><div>Joshua M. Patton</div><div><br /></div><div>PS I have relented and joined "The Twitter." @JoshuaMPatton</div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-90029706171606763592010-05-03T14:53:00.001-07:002010-05-03T14:53:14.885-07:00On Becoming 30<span xmlns=''><p>A decade ago, I welcomed my twenties already a veteran of a foreign mission (despite my best efforts) and a man with only great things ahead of him. My birthday party was a Margarita bash at my mother's home. Even though I was underage at the time, most of my friends were not. Also, having "risked my life" (a phrase thrown around then with less <em>gravitas</em> than it carries today) in defense of this country on a peacekeeping mission, I figured the least the country owed me was a few drinks on my birthday. The party was a massive failure. The only two guests, who were not Army or family, were two women I went to school with for a dozen years. One was my first-grade crush and another girl that was a great friend and taken for granted. They were important people in my life that I cut myself off from in an effort to become the kind of adult I wanted to be. It was culmination of a bad attitude about where I was from. Ironically, my closest friends now are all from my high school (or their spouses). It was a long and circuitous journey right back to where I started. Just like this past decade. <br /></p><p>My two party guests, I think, are now both married and well on their way to a happily-ever-after, while my wild new relationship went down in flames leaving me no better off than I was ten years ago, with the giant exception that the child this relationship produced is now the literal center of my world. Her mother, that former wild girlfriend, has seemingly settled down with a career and what appears to be a serious, adult relationship. If 30 is the new 20 maybe that is why I feel like for ten years I have been running laps around a track, clocking miles on the odometer, but going nowhere like a hamster on a wheel. <br /></p><p>The ideas of birthdays in general have always been awkward for me. It feels wrong to plan one's own birthday party, but if there are a number of circles of friends that don't intersect, it is the only way to get them all together. I felt obligated to do something large and celebratory and crazy to mark the beginning of my third decade of life. In actuality, I would be content to not do much. Bachelors have to throw their own parties and frankly, I just don't give a shit. It is nice to be celebrated, but it's the pinnacle of vanity to expect to be celebrated for keeping oneself alive. Still, I'll never turn down a free drink, a free dinner, or unearned kindnesses from the people in my life. <br /></p><p>But then again, I always party like it's my burfday….</p></span>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-49182433621310237612010-04-26T11:20:00.000-07:002010-04-26T11:23:04.838-07:00Review of Jay-Z's the Blueprint 3 published on WordSurferPost.com 9/15/2009<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>What happened to Hip-hop?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What was once the most subversive and terrifying music parents feared to find their children listening to is arguably a shell of its former self.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>First, lyrics – the lifeblood of any hip-hop act – took a back seat to production and danceable grooves.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Kanye</span> West, one of the last best hopes in hip-hop, released his last album with Auto-Tune effects on every song.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Add to that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">internet</span> videos of daughters and mothers dancing in unison to “Crank <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Dat</span>,” a song which the hook advocates ejaculating onto your woman’s back and affixing the bed-sheet like a cape.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, when it looks as though hip-hop is about to go the way of the dodo and disco, Jay-Z swoops down to save the genre from itself.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The first single from The Blueprint 3 is “Death of Auto-Tune,” produced – ironically – by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Kanye</span> West, who shoulders the bulk of the production work on the record.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The song advocates violence and general unruly behavior, but also contains the album’s apparent thesis: “You rappers singing too much/ get back to rap you t-paining too much./I’m a multi-millionaire/ so how is it I’m still the hardest <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">nigga</span> here?”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Had one seen Jay-Z last winter hosting concerts in concert with the Obama campaign for voter registration or perhaps as the only guest for a segment of Real Time with Bill <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Maher</span>, one might think that perhaps Jay has gone mainstream like the Black Eyed Peas.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However, one listen to this single and the rest of the album reminds the listener that one of the reasons Jay has been so successful in the past is that rather than cater to a mainstream audience he brings “the suburbs to the hood.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Blueprint 3 is no different.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The album snags in very few places.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Jay-Z has seemingly perfected the formula for a number-one album.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There are radio-friendly offerings.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The first, “Empire State of Mind” featuring Alica Keys, is the obligatory ode to New York.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The lyrics ride aloft on the waves of the beat, punctuated by a powerful chorus.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A chorus that you can’t resist trying to sing along with, but will inevitably cause some awkwardness at traffic lights, as Ms. Key’s vocal range is tough to imitate.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Especially for a raspy-voiced, white guy, but how else can one sing their own hometown’s name rather than the NYC?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">“Run This Town,” features the dulcet tones of Rhianna and some witty rhymes by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Kanye</span>.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Forever Young” features artist from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Kanye</span>’s label, Mr. Hudson doing his best Sting impersonation.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>An airy tune that, if not careful, can put into perspective how age is nothing we can avoid and make the listener wonder if he will feel as comfortable at 40 as Jay does.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The battle of the sexes is fought in the tracks Venus vs. Mars, produced by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Timbaland</span> – one of his three tracks on the album – and in “On To the Next One,” produced by Swizz <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Beatz</span> in a song that evokes the mentality of “Big <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Pimpin</span>’.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There are some songs that seem out of place, but like the last few <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">OutKast</span> albums it takes a few listens before the song seems to fit in your ears.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Most notably, “Thank You” seems to be one of the songs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The chorus is a bit repetitive and shrill.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The lyrics seem to dance around the beat, almost competing with it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On the third listen, maybe the fourth, the realization occurs that this is completely intentional.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In what is maybe the most ironic song on the album, Jay apparently skewers his entire lifestyle.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He shoots as many barbs at himself as the rappers he claimed he was going “9/11” had they not done it to themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The two weakest songs are “Real as it Gets,” with Young <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Jeezy</span> and So Ambitious featuring <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Pharrell</span>.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is more because of lackluster guests rather than a failing on Jay-Z’s part.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Young <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Jeezy</span> has a unique style, and Jay seems to respect him as an artist, however his verse and work on the chorus leaves much to be desired.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Pharrell</span>, his sound has really been stagnant for about five years.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Pharrell</span> at his worst is better than most in hip-hop at their best, but sonically the song seems like far too familiar territory.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In regard to Jay-Z’s contribution to these songs, one almost wonders if he found some forgotten lyrics from 1994.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The cadence of Jay’s lyrics on “So Ambitious,” seems to match the cadence of his words on “<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Feelin</span>’ It” from his classic debut album.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The entire album echoes Reasonable Doubt in the way that Jay-Z hoped his concept album, American Gangster, would have.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Jay-Z is one of the few artists who still think of an album as a greater work than a mere collection of songs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The album is constructed to be listened to as an entire work of art and it is in the listening that one can truly appreciate that this is a journey through what remains on the landscape of true hip-hop.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>By taking the genre to task, as his main rival and contemporary <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Nas</span> does, it is as if there is hope for those who found hip-hop because of the poetry hidden in the gritty, dark lyrics.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No song is filler and there is not one dance instruction in the entire 61 minutes of music.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s not hip-hop for grown-ups, but more like grown-up hip-hop.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-78147918221836662932010-04-26T09:34:00.001-07:002010-04-26T09:34:46.868-07:00Where’s Woody Guthrie’s Guitar?<span xmlns=''><p><br /> </p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'>One of my best friends constantly extols the climatic virtues of the great state of Arizona. Conspiracy theorists have warned of an approaching fascism from underneath tinfoil hats for decades and the tea party movement has taken up that mantle, complete with outlandish costumes, a creepy affection for guns, and nonsensical rallying cries (e.g. "Keep Your Government Hands Off My Medicare," pictures of Obama as Hitler with a hammer &amp; sickle underneath, et. al.). That longtime Republican (Non?)-Maverick John McCain is facing a tough primary challenge and the passage of two laws makes Arizona a veritable Tea Party Mecca. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'>At first the laws that are making the most news appear dissimilar. One is an amendment to Arizona State Senate Bill 1024 requiring that Presidential candidates submit an affidavit to the Arizona Secretary of State proving their citizenship and their age. If the office of the Secretary of State, has reason to doubt that information they can refuse to allow the candidate's name on the ballot. The other controversial law is a measure that allows local law enforcement to ask for proof of citizenship for those they suspect may be here illegally. Yet, at the heart of both of these bills I find very similar ideas specifically that both laws seem a bit, well, fascist. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'>The problem is, thanks to our friends in the tinfoil and tri-corner hats, when one even mentions fascism at all, eyes begin to roll and immediately the subject of conversation will change to sports, beer, or boobs. And I am talking about my female friends as well! Still as Seth Meyers asked on SNL, "Can we all agree that there is nothing more 'Nazi' than saying 'Show me your papers?'" The Tea Party claims to be all but literally "up in arms" to prevent the eroding of personal liberty and freedom. However, somehow those terms only seem to apply to money and not to actual freedom. Sure, white folks really don't have to worry. Any illegal immigrants from the former-soviet bloc will still probably be able to walk around Arizona freely shirking taxes and taking jobs away from documented citizens. However, if you happen to be of a more non-lily-white variety, you may have to present your identification if you happen to linger too long outside of a Home Depot or if you happen to be doing yardwork at your own house. I am not sure if this is the exact criteria they will use, or if they'll word it all fancy-like.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'>Sherriff Joe Arpaio can barely contain his power-boner and promises to immediately use it to fuck Mexicans. A warthog in a campaign hat, Sherriff Joe is the type of full-speed-ahead-damn-the-torpedoes lunatic that can genuinely amass an incredible amount of power, climbing the backs of the brown and the poor, and his sights are currently set on the Governor's mansion. He has a fistful of complaints, lawsuits, and alleged abuses to his name, but in his country sheriff costume with big, scary inmates wearing pink underwear and living in tents, a certain section of the Arizona population is very comforted knowing he is fighting the "good fight." With some clever lawyers, the investigations into his misdeeds are moving at a stoned snail's pace. In the meantime, Sherriff Joe could achieve his ultimate goal, be it the Governorship or perhaps he just wants to eventually own a person. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'>If liberty and freedom are important to these Tea Bagger folks, why are they so willing to allow the government to infringe upon the rights of the citizens that would most likely be profiled? It's easy to just dismiss them as racists, but I would wager that they are more like Orwell's loyal sheep, echoing the arguments of those who yell the loudest. "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." Selah.<br /></span></p></span>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-51669692932887955742010-04-22T08:46:00.000-07:002010-04-22T08:49:07.751-07:00Beating a Dead Donkey - Healthcare III circa 10/30/2009 WordSurferPost.com<p class="MsoNormal">Many legislators are consummate politicians that make a career of saying one thing and then, if faced with negative coverage, retract or condemn the statement.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Democrats especially seem to lack the simple solidarity that the Republicans seem to have when it comes to their more outrageous statements.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Still, freshman Florida Democratic Representative Alan Grayson has some big balls.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On the floor of the of the House of Representatives on Tuesday, while debating their version of the healthcare reform bill, Grayson said that the current Republican alternative is to “not get sick,” or if one does fall ill, to “die quickly.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hyperbolic though it may be, exaggeration is not strictly the purview of the Republican Party.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It would be more accurate to say that their position is to continue to allow our economy to profit from the sick.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Republicans are, of course, outraged and prompting Jimmy Duncan (R-TN) to say that it was, “the most mean-spirited partisan statement that I've ever heard made on this floor.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>To Duncan’s credit, he is far more libertarian-minded than the majority of the Republicans in congress, but seems to have turned a deaf ear to the more ignorant and counterproductive statements that have come from his party on the floors of the Senate, the House and in the media.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When an apology was demanded of Rep. Grayson, he proceeded to grab his crotch and show that not only did he have balls, but that they were made of solid brass (metaphorically speaking).<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The apology he delivered was not directed to the members of the GOP, but instead he apologized to the families of some 44,000 Americans whom, according to a study at Harvard University, die each year because of inability to obtain health insurance.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He continued to defend his position to various talking heads on various news programs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Grayson’s point is that since the GOP has offered up no realistic alternative plan and seems to be merely stonewalling this effort to hurt the President and improve their chances in the mid-term elections, it’s tantamount to allowing a “holocaust” of American citizens.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>One has to wonder, are the GOP upset because they feel insulted or because a Democrat has the nerve to be just as good at the outrageous soundbite as they have been?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ken Spain, the spokesman for the National Republican Congressional Committee went on the record saying, "This is an individual who has established a pathological pattern of unstable behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He is derailing the national debate on health care reform and embarrassing his constituents as a result."<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Again, one wonders is Spain angry or jealous?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Simply put, there has been no national “debate” on healthcare reform.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No one questioned by NWP in an informal survey is happy with their insurance, save for those taking advantage of TRICARE, the publicly-funded insurance offered to the active military and their families.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yet, the public option or any sort of single-payer system is practically guaranteed to not be included in reform, thereby mandating coverage for Americans with no actionable reform.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Employers are practically encouraged to not offer coverage.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The health insurance industry will be gaining some 40 million new customers; one can practically see the pupils of the CEO’s of these companies turning into dollar signs.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Bill introduced by the Senate Finance Committee makes one ask just what is Grayson even fighting for?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Baucus Bill, named after Max Baucas (D-MT), the insurance company<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> comare </i><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>responsible for it, loses all of the real reform, e.g. the public option, the employer mandate, et. al.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In fact, other Democrats submitted two amendments for a public option, that weren’t even really up to the standard that most Americans want but would have been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">something</i>, and were voted down 8-5 by the finance committee.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Democrats can’t even be effective even with overwhelming majority.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It begs the question that is it better to have morally corrupt morons that can actually accomplish what they set out to do or well-intentioned nitwits that can’t go to the bathroom without tripping over each others’ dicks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Nonsense from Politicians is actually expected on cable news shows and in the press, but in an actual Senate hearing?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The most current New York Times poll shows that 65% of Americans and three-fourths of doctors all support a public option.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In response to this Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) cited an unnamed, unidentified poll that showed this was false because it asked if they would support a, “public option that weakens private health strategies?”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A NWP Poll also found that Americans wouldn’t support a public option that drowned babies.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, since neither amendment submitted to the committee did either one of those things, one has to ask what the hell is Grassley talking about?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Embattled philanderer Senator John Ensign (R-NV) was asked that if what we have works so well, why do we rank 19<sup>th</sup> in world when it comes to saving our citizens from preventable deaths.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His answer was that if we removed the number of victims of car accidents and gun deaths – apparently the GOP plan for these victims is the ol’ Kentucky-Derby-Shotgun-On-The-Racetrack approach – we would “do better.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Wall Street Journal, not known as a bastion of left-leaning press, reported that even using Ensign’s formula, we still fall in at a respectable 17<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So sit back America, and dig into a GOP Bullshit sandwich.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Served up piping hot and with no guarantees that anyone will even remember who said what.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s a fine meal we could all enjoy if only Alan Grayson would stop being such a crass prick.</p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-13330293638021949192010-03-15T08:05:00.000-07:002010-03-15T08:07:05.075-07:00The Politics of Hell No - Published on WordSurferPost 10-23-2009<p class="MsoNormal">Many legislators are consummate politicians that make a career of saying one thing and then, if faced with negative coverage, retract or condemn the statement.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Democrats especially seem to lack the simple solidarity that the Republicans seem to have when it comes to their more outrageous statements.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Still, freshman Florida Democratic Representative Alan Grayson has some big balls.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>On the floor of the of the House of Representatives on Tuesday, while debating their version of the healthcare reform bill, Grayson said that the current Republican alternative is to “not get sick,” or if one does fall ill, to “die quickly.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hyperbolic though it may be, exaggeration is not strictly the purview of the Republican Party.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It would be more accurate to say that their position is to continue to allow our economy to profit from the sick.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Republicans are, of course, outraged and prompting Jimmy Duncan (R-TN) to say that it was, “the most mean-spirited partisan statement that I've ever heard made on this floor.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>To Duncan’s credit, he is far more libertarian-minded than the majority of the Republicans in congress, but seems to have turned a deaf ear to the more ignorant and counterproductive statements that have come from his party on the floors of the Senate, the House and in the media.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When an apology was demanded of Rep. Grayson, he proceeded to grab his crotch and show that not only did he have balls, but that they were made of solid brass (metaphorically speaking).<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The apology he delivered was not directed to the members of the GOP, but instead he apologized to the families of some 44,000 Americans whom, according to a study at Harvard University, die each year because of inability to obtain health insurance.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He continued to defend his position to various talking heads on various news programs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Grayson’s point is that since the GOP has offered up no realistic alternative plan and seems to be merely stonewalling this effort to hurt the President and improve their chances in the mid-term elections, it’s tantamount to allowing a “holocaust” of American citizens.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>One has to wonder, are the GOP upset because they feel insulted or because a Democrat has the nerve to be just as good at the outrageous soundbite as they have been?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ken Spain, the spokesman for the National Republican Congressional Committee went on the record saying, "This is an individual who has established a pathological pattern of unstable behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>He is derailing the national debate on health care reform and embarrassing his constituents as a result."<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Again, one wonders is Spain angry or jealous?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Simply put, there has been no national “debate” on healthcare reform.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No one questioned by NWP in an informal survey is happy with their insurance, save for those taking advantage of TRICARE, the publicly-funded insurance offered to the active military and their families.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yet, the public option or any sort of single-payer system is practically guaranteed to not be included in reform, thereby mandating coverage for Americans with no actionable reform.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Employers are practically encouraged to not offer coverage.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The health insurance industry will be gaining some 40 million new customers; one can practically see the pupils of the CEO’s of these companies turning into dollar signs.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Bill introduced by the Senate Finance Committee makes one ask just what is Grayson even fighting for?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Baucus Bill, named after Max Baucas (D-MT), the insurance company<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> comare </i><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>responsible for it, loses all of the real reform, e.g. the public option, the employer mandate, et. al.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In fact, other Democrats submitted two amendments for a public option, that weren’t even really up to the standard that most Americans want but would have been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">something</i>, and were voted down 8-5 by the finance committee.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Democrats can’t even be effective even with overwhelming majority.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It begs the question that is it better to have morally corrupt morons that can actually accomplish what they set out to do or well-intentioned nitwits that can’t go to the bathroom without tripping over each others’ dicks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Nonsense from Politicians is actually expected on cable news shows and in the press, but in an actual Senate hearing?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The most current New York Times poll shows that 65% of Americans and three-fourths of doctors all support a public option.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In response to this Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) cited an unnamed, unidentified poll that showed this was false because it asked if they would support a, “public option that weakens private health strategies?”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A NWP Poll also found that Americans wouldn’t support a public option that drowned babies.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, since neither amendment submitted to the committee did either one of those things, one has to ask what the hell is Grassley talking about?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Embattled philanderer Senator John Ensign (R-NV) was asked that if what we have works so well, why do we rank 19<sup>th</sup> in world when it comes to saving our citizens from preventable deaths.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>His answer was that if we removed the number of victims of car accidents and gun deaths – apparently the GOP plan for these victims is the ol’ Kentucky-Derby-Shotgun-On-The-Racetrack approach – we would “do better.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Wall Street Journal, not known as a bastion of left-leaning press, reported that even using Ensign’s formula, we still fall in at a respectable 17<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So sit back America, and dig into a GOP Bullshit sandwich.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Served up piping hot and with no guarantees that anyone will even remember who said what.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s a fine meal we could all enjoy if only Alan Grayson would stop being such a crass prick.</p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-63848786440132727122010-03-10T21:18:00.000-08:002010-03-10T21:21:14.694-08:00The Public Not An Option - Healthcare Part II Published 9/22/2009<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">Socialism abounds.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Or at least this would be what those opposed to healthcare reform would like the average American to believe.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Seemingly everyone questioned by Naked World Post is for a reformation of the healthcare system, but are then quick to add that they are against the idea of socialized medicine.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dr. Stephen Graf, a professor at Robert Morris University in Pittsburgh, PA told NWP that he hurt his knee while in Great Britain and the doctor, “kept telling me that nothing was wrong with it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>That’s why <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">I</i> am against socialized medicine.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is a highly educated man and his opposition to the public option in healthcare reform is based on nonsense.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What hope does the average American have?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">A few of the people questioned were in favor of a public option closer to the structure of a single-payer system.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>One such system in use in the country today is the health insurance provided to active members of the military.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Soldiers and their spouses use what is known as TRICARE.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“I love it. It’s the best insurance I have ever had,” said Melissa Williams, a nurse and wife of a soldier currently deployed to Iraq.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Melissa’s coverage under this government-sponsored plan is more inclusive and easier to deal with the plan offered by her employer, a hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This type of single-payer insurance, with the single-payer being the government, is the exact type of socialized medicine that shit-shovelers like Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity would have you believe is akin to Uncle Sam taking the constitution, wiping his ass with it, and then using it for an illegal immigrant’s band-aid.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">The single-payer system is a simple idea and inherently non-evil.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The government would pay doctors and hospitals for treatments the patients receive.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NJ) is a very vocal supporter of the idea of “Medicare for all,” which would take the current system of Medicare and overhaul it so that it would cover all Americans.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>While Medicare has its funding issues, 94% of seniors in a Quinnipiac poll are completely satisfied with the level of care they receive.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Congressman Weiner has said that he does not believe insurance companies are not evil, but are in fact just following their highly-successful business model: take in as much money as you can and pay out as little as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">With the individual mandate for insurance coverage one of the only guaranteed portions of whatever bill we end up with, this is good news for the health insurance companies.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The lack of a public option could allow for minimal cost reform and a slew of new business for these companies, but no actionable accountability.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The competition provided by the public option would, in theory, force the insurance companies to lower their overhead and take in fewer profits.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Socialism?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No, but perhaps it can be fairly categorized as anti-capitalist.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>At least as far as health insurance is concerned.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But since when does everything have to make a profit?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">Goldman-Sachs has received a significant percentage of the economic bailout money, some sent directly to them, some received from its debtors, such as AIG.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Goldman-Sachs has also continued to post record profits and to pay its executives record-breaking bonuses, all mostly taxpayer money.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This type of corporate socialism was deemed as unfortunate but necessary; in fact Goldman-Sachs economists had suggested to the government that a $2 trillion stimulus was needed rather than a paltry $800 billion.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>How is it that the government and the American people as a whole were agreeable to this plan, but healthcare for all has been such a hard sell?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">The Republicans have done an effective job with taking portions of the difficult to understand language in the house bill and distorting it into crazy claims that even the President of the United States doesn’t have enough clout to counter.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Sean Hannity, at the suggestion of righty pollster Frank Luntz, started calling the public option the “government option,” because a poll showed that when called that instead of “public option,” with no explanation of what it is, the public likes “government option” less.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Says Hannity to the pollster, “Well then, we are going to call it the ‘government option’ on this show from now on.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">When Senator Max Baucus (D-MT) unveiled his summary of the bill coming out of the Senate Finance Committee, it matched the framework of the outline laid out by the President in his speech last week.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>However, it is a poor match at best.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The most glaring omission is the lack of a public option.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Instead, non-profit healthcare cooperatives would be created to aid those without insurance in finding an “affordable” plan.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Congressional Budget Office, a non-partisan entity, said in a report that these “co-ops” would be “</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:&quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:black">unlikely to establish a significant market presence in many areas of the country."<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Also, e</span></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:&quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">mployers are not required to offer healthcare, but if an employer has 50 or more employees, the company would be required to reimburse the federal government for the tax credits for health insurance given to their employees.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Senator Baucus also claims that tax credits in the bill would “encourage” small business owners to provide coverage to their employees.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">Congressman Weiner said of the plan on Keith Olbermann’s show on MSNBC that it was less of a reform and more of an insurance company giveaway.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>With no public option and a lack of market presence for these non-profit cooperatives, the chance that real reform can happen is slim.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What citizens may end up with is a requirement to have health insurance and be still unable to afford the only slightly less expensive plans.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">While insurers are barred from dropping a client for any “pre-existing conditions” it only protects those who are up to date on their premiums.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Said one insurance salesman, on condition of anonymity, “I can already imagine five or six ways that the company could drop someone they didn’t want to cover based on those criteria.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">As the debate continues to unfold, it is very important to observe how the argument for the public option develops on the legislative floor.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The rage seen from those at town hall meetings in the past weeks have shown that the Republicans, while short on power in terms of votes, retain their ability to mobilize a constituency based on fear.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Will we see this same tactic used when the bills are openly debated by the likes of Senator Chuck Grassley (R, IA) and Congressman Joe Wilson (R, SC). <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">Ironically, a significant portion of those seen decrying the evils of socialized medicine in town halls and in the news were citizens most likely currently using Medicare.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Are these same protestors willing to give up their current socialized insurance?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The protestor who famously and inexplicably lost a portion of his finger while rallying against socialized medicine and had his digit reattached was promptly covered by Medicare.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If only the 45.7 million uninsured Americans could be so lucky.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi">Later this week, Naked World Post will examine how a party marginalized in the last election has been able to so effectively spread misinformation and block the reform.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The role of the media will be examined as well as the actions of specific members of the legislature.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Also examined will be where those pushing for reform, specifically the President, failed as well.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Keep checking the Naked World Post for the bare-assed truth about all sorts of over-dressed jackals.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-90435413452743508862010-03-07T12:05:00.000-08:002010-03-07T12:29:52.917-08:00An Interesting Day for the New IraqAs the sun sets on the East Coast of the US, it has been dark for awhile in Iraq. However, the day was lit up by explosions of both democracy and violence. Rockets were fired into the capital and there were roadside bombings resulting in Iraqi civilian casualties. When the war was originally sold to the American people, Iraq was to be a beacon of democracy that would spread amongst the Middle East, perhaps similar to the explosion of democracy in Eastern Europe. A few years ago, that potential was almost laughable and seemed to be just another in a string of likes from jackals wrapped in the flag telling us campfire tales of weapons of mass destruction. <div><br /></div><div> Yet, today Iraqi citizens literally risked their lives to go and cast their votes. Even though it was dangerous, these people would bring their children because it was important to them that they instill the importance of voting and democracy. Dependent upon the results of the election - specifically whether or not there was fraud and how the losers react - this could actually be an important step on the road to a truly democratic Iraq. The government is fraught with corruption, but like we can point fingers in that regard. The important thing is that the people feel enough ownership of their own government to not be deterred from voting by threats of terror and violence. Americans can barely be bothered to vote, let alone be willing to do so under threat of violence. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, with a wistfulness and hope do I watch the results of this election. Perhaps Democracy can stick in this country after all. </div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-88900340867305253742010-03-04T09:31:00.000-08:002010-03-04T09:37:52.132-08:00Getting Sick Over It - WordSurferPost.com, Healthcare I, Published 9/15/2009<p class="MsoNormal">Getting Sick Over It.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">By: Joshua M. Patton</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The symphony of dissent begins with thunderous applause.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So it seemed when President Barack Obama entered the room during his prime-time address to a joint session of Congress focusing on healthcare.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The speech ended the same way and their position as members of government notwithstanding, they applauded and lined up if only to pat the man on the back.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In the middle, there was more applause for compromise, silent dissent at the mere mention of a public option, and Joe Wilson (R, SC) called The President a liar.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>It was a marvelous speech – well-written and well-delivered – yet, here’s the rub, it was all mostly flowery language and political kabuki-dancing.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Republican side of the debate continues to vaguely reference language in HR 3200 as “proof” of their various arguments.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, upon a search of the bill the language is confusing, but nothing even hints at all that the bullshit being dressed up as logic and given equal time in the media.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>When Barack Obama loses control of the media narrative, he typically attempts to regain that control by giving a long, lawyerly speech that serves to clarify his position on the given issue.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It worked marvelously when the controversy over Reverend White was dominating the airwaves and print during the lead-up to the Pennsylvania Primary – which he lost.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The last address focused on the troubles with the economy and it is far too early to call either victory or defeat on that issue, although many say the President should have done more.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>It was by referencing his speech on the economy that the President chose to begin his pitch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>By trying to frame the problems with healthcare as not just a social issue, but as a moral issue and a necessary benchmark towards reaching true economic recovery, the President is trying to appeal to the better fiscal sensibilities of the opposition.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>2008 Nobel Prize-winner Paul Krugman said in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Rolling Stone,</i> “If healthcare passes and the economy recovers, Obama is the new FDR.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If not, he’s Jimmy Carter.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s that simple.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The President told two stories about ordinary, average, nameless Americans and how the current system failed them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Then he got pissed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The treatment these Americans received, “is heart-breaking, it is wrong, and no one should be treated that way in the United States of America!” exclaimed the President.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>All stood.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Even the insurance company whores, Democrat and Republican alike, were moved by this opening salvo, despite the fact that many of those standing had lined their pockets with money generated by the very insurance company practices being decried. Specifically Senators Chuck Grassley (R, IA) and Max Baucus (D, MT), the republican and democrat leaders of the so-called “Gang of Six,”, are on the Senate Finance Committee and are charged with drafting what, despite the three other bills out of committee right now, will be the definitive piece of legislation behind what sort of healthcare reform we achieve.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Baucus, the democrat, has received over $3 million from insurance companies in the past five years.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>When healthcare reform was first being bandied about as a something the Obama Administration was actually going to move forward on, a deal was struck with PhARMA that brought back the advertised dissenters from the 90’s, Harry and Louise, this time supporting the reform.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>One would have to wonder, with rising drug costs one of the problems we face with healthcare, would the largest pharmaceutical lobbying firm really get on board with reform if it meant they were to make less money?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Of course they wouldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The only time the President mentioned the words “drug companies,” was when he announced that his “unprecedented coalition” for reform (a very Bushian turn of phrase) was comprised of some of the very drug companies that have opposed the reform in the past.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>While the cost of prescription drugs only makes up a fraction of the country’s healthcare worries, the only mention of relief for the consumer from the cost of expensive drugs was in reference to Medicare.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Scoundrels though they may be, the drug companies are really not even in the same league as the insurance companies.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>For years rates have risen exponentially and coverage has decreased thanks to the two sweetest words to an insurer: preexisting condition.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The President said in no uncertain terms that denials based on the preexisting condition would no longer be allowed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Hopefully, this will allow those who are sick to find coverage and not bankrupt themselves with medical bills.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">The American Journal of Medicine</i> published the results of a national study that determined that 60% of all bankruptcies in the United States in 2007 were the result of medical debt.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Of those 60%, three quarters of them were working middle-class homeowners that had insurance.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Again, the impetus of the movement is directed at the insurance companies and nothing is being mentioned of the extravagant costs of some of these procedures.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Can the Insurance companies – a for-profit business – be faulted for denying coverage for procedures that inexplicably cost tens of thousands of dollars?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The shit continues to get deeper and deeper in the halls of government and it seems that before wading into this crisis, the President forgot to take off his nice shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This could become the lynchpin of his Presidency; a failure here and continued economic decline could mean resurgence in popularity for the party of irrational opposition, the GOP, John McCain notwithstanding.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Anyone displeased with this bill is wont to find some sort of reasonable alternative to the plan now on the table.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In his speech, the President implored his opposition to offer some sort of serious counter-plan or ways to amend the current bill.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yet, from the Republican side of the aisle, there was only silence.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Senator Grassley, as reported by Naked Word News’ own Samuel Ansah, purported the idea of “death panels” and has yet to negate those comments at press time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Section 1233 of HR 3200 is the section that discusses end-of-life counseling.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The language is not exactly clear, but it in no way alludes to anything other than ensuring that the patient and their families are aware of all options when the inevitable end-of-life situation occurs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No intelligent or honest person could read this section and deny that it sounds like anything but a really good idea for the elderly, the chronically ill, and their families.</p><p class="MsoNormal">While all of the attention has been given to the public option that the President labeled as only a small part of the overall plan, there was something more troubling he said.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Those already covered by their employers would keep the policies that they have.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In the bill, it speaks of a “grandfather” clause for companies that are offering insurance to their employees during “Year 1” of the five-year plan to enact these reforms.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This could be a bad thing, especially if the cap on out-of-pocket costs and reduction in premiums fail to be delivered.</p><p class="MsoNormal">For example, Joe 12-pack works for a large retail chain that sells pretty much a shitty version of everything at a ridiculously low price. This large retail-chain keeps its costs down by paying their workers almost nothing and providing maybe the worst insurance plan ever offered by an employer. In our current system, Joe could deny his employer coverage and utilize Medicaid, because even with his wages he still is economically below the poverty level. Under this new plan, the large retail chain is still able to offer their shitty plan, thanks to the grandfather clause. Joe 24-pack is unable to deny his employer’s offer of insurance. If he does, he is not eligible to purchase insurance from the insurance exchange that would contain the public option. He would also no longer be able to apply for Medicaid, because his employer does provide benefits.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Where are the republicans on this issue? Here is an actual example of how the new reform plan would limit Americans’ insurance options, yet they are all caught up in the fervor of socialism, death panels, and other madness to focus on a real issue that would be an easy thing to fix. Have they gotten so used to spreading fear and anger with misinformation that they have abandoned trying to win an argument in the rational world?</p><p class="MsoNormal">U.S. Representative Joe Wilson (R, SC), who shouted “You Lie!” to the President during his speech, apologized for his outburst, but not for what he said. He continues to say in more flowery terms that the President is lying about coverage for illegal immigrants. What Rep. Wilson is referring to is that according to the bill persons here illegally might be able to purchase insurance through the exchange marketplace; however it also explicitly states that these citizens will not be eligible for any federally subsidized program. In the current system, persons her illegally are not turned away from hospitals and their bills are given to the taxpayers. By allowing them to purchase insurance, this would not happen. Any argument involving illegal immigrants in this country is like arguing if the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay would benefit from the stimulus plan. Sure it’s a point, but the larger problem of what to do with them as a group, the detainees or illegal immigrants, looms over every minor discussion. The country has larger problems than whether or not a person living here illegally can buy health insurance.</p><p class="MsoNormal">The inclusion of an insurance mandate surprised me, considering it was one of the three issues during the primary elections where the President differed from Hillary Clinton. Presenting the mandate to purchase health insurance as similar to the mandate to purchase auto-insurance is a half-assed comparison at best. Joe 24-Pack &amp; A Handle of Gin does not wake up one morning in his one-room apartment and discover that he has contracted a case of owning a pick-up truck. The procurement of auto-insurance is just one of the many costs associated with purchasing a vehicle. Joe Liver-Transplant did not expect to come down with a life-threatening illness and it doesn't change the fact that he makes only $50 more a month than he pays in rent, food, and utilities. It doesn’t cost anything to get sick, but it can cost everything to get better and that does not appear as if it is going to change.</p><p class="MsoNormal">The President closed the speech to applause and displayed his full array of speaking prowess: the compassionate intellectual, the no-nonsense lawyer, and the inspirational intonations of a Preacher witnessing to his flock. The speech was in all a rousing and moving oratory from a remarkable man, and it would be lovely if this was where the story ended. Sadly, attempting to act on what the President presented is still a clusterfuck of immense proportions.</p><p class="MsoNormal">House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Harry Reid both seemed to soften on the inclusion of a public option mere hours after the leader of their party said it was fundamental to the reform, if only a small, fundamental part. The Senate Finance Committee continues to plod along and work out a plan that really changes nothing just so it can b e called “bipartisan.” The prevailing question those serious about healthcare reform is this: Would any bill in the name of reform be better than simply scrapping the idea and starting from scratch?</p><p class="MsoNormal">In the next week, Naked Word Post will publish an analysis of the arguments from both sides and feature the opinions of medical professionals – working from the “front lines” of this healthcare crisis – about what is really needed and what changes would not even be noticed. Also studied, will be the role that the media has played in fueling the debate and the spreading of misinformation disguised as journalism.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><o:p> </o:p></p>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5851995950482103580.post-90904912850275690042010-03-04T09:28:00.000-08:002010-03-04T09:31:30.787-08:00The Net Is A Far-Less Permanent Medium Than PrintIn the next few days, I will be posting on here a series of articles I did last fall about the healthcare debacle. The site on which they were originally published has since removed them, so I thought I would display them here. This is part of the reason I am resisting the switch from print to digital - magazines and books, like with the Kindle and other E-Readers - is because if our civilization is lucky enough to survive another thousand years, will all these words be lost? <div><br /></div><div>Oh well, I hope you enjoy them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Joshua M. Patton</div><div>In Need of a New Gig.</div>Joshua M. Pattonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10374502511999899382noreply@blogger.com0