Hi, I'm new to this male survivor site and trying to come to terms with myself after 69 years on this earth, I was sexually abused 60 years ago and until now have never sought help, now on this subject masturbation I am an expert, I still am a compulsuve masterbater, I (think) that I may have been introduced to it by my abuser. But for sure I was doing it at 10 yrs old, as a Catholic if I should die before going to confession I was going straight to hell. Well I was sent to a Catholic orphanage/home where i resided for (almost) four years, we were there with the exception for the summer months continually. Well I remember being very heavilly into it, every day, and we had to go to Mass every day and twice on Sundays, plus confession on Saturdays, Now being we (70) boys were living in the home we were supposed to receive communion every morning, now that would be very embarrasing to miss as why would a boy not be in the state of grace? Well I figured that if (just if) I should die before going to confession, what the heck I just might as well participate in the communion. No worring what those Brothers would think that I might have done. Plus I was doing it in (as they said) in Gods house. I am married have a son plus two grandsons and I still masturbate till this day, maybe when I start my recovery process it may help to stop.

Robbie Brown, THE WHOLE TOWN THOUGHT THAT!!! I HOPE YOU NO LONGER LIVE THERE. I BET NO ONE EVER SMILES IN THAT TOWN. LOL Self love is the best love, any way you look at it, you should always love yourself. Warmly, NYDAISY

petercorbett, I am also catholic. One thing I always remember is that God is all forgiving. Just say the word and you shall be healed. So if it was a sin(which it is not) all you would need to do is say you were sorry, my kids have been taught that you don't even have to wait for confession. You just have to ask for forgiveness and God will give it. Now you must forgive yourself, it sounds like you carry around alot of guilt around because of it. Ask yourself this, ARE YOU HURTING ANYONE BY DOING THAT? If it's not hurting anyone, then what you do is your business, and God does love you. Warmly, NYDAISY

Ok let's suppose masturbating results in say 1000 years in purgatory, or some other such timeline. What would you think is an appropriate or humourous punishment for God to hand out?

A. 1000 years of weaving Kleenix and cleaning computer keypadsB. 1000 years of arm spasm where your arm looks like it's shaking a pop can whenever you introduce yourself.C. 1000 years of Dick Cheney4. 1000 years of fire. Hmmm...kinda worth the risk if you ask me!

Add your own punishment - win fabulous prizes!

I shouldn't be irreverent without attempting to cope with Andy's question. I think Paul wasn't making a commandment, but just pointing out that if we permit something, anything, masturbation included, to get in the way of our relationship with God, it's to be avoided and that's why he's calling it 'burning passion' - just to let us know that it can become a 'never quenchable' thing.

Edited by hogan_dawg (07/29/0802:30 AM)

_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves. Andrew Vachs, 2003

What I tell the teens who ask about this is that almost every teen masturbates and many guys continue to do so into adulthood. It doesn't harm you in any way. But if a guy feels guilty about it and wants to stop, that's okay too. It's his choice. Sexual urges are natural and healthy, and for young guys who are not yet sexually active with others masturbation is a pleasant and healthy solution.

Compulsive masturbation is something else, of course. But that isn't caused by masturbation as such, but by other issues for which masturbation seems to offer a sense of release or control. But even then a guy need not feel guilty about it. The thing to do is seek professional help. A therapist won't blame the guy; he/she's seen it all, after all. The aim with be solely to help the survivor with his problem.

Much love,Larry

_________________________Nobody living can ever stop meAs I go walking my freedom highway.Nobody living can make me turn back:This land was made for you and me.(Woody Guthrie)

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