Fashion Disaster: Sarah Jessica Parker Wears Every Ugly Item Of Clothing She Owns In One Outfit

Sarah Jessica Parker is touring America’s malls to launch her new shoe line, SJP, and unfortunately has been engaging in some questionable fashion choices. She’s been on a layering kick as of late that I’m finding pretty confusing, especially given Parker’s position as a major player in the fashion industry. I’m normally a big fan of her styling choices, which tend towards a nice balance of pretty but not boring, but this simply will not stand.

If this look were limited to that pink Dolce & Gabbana dress, I think everything could be copasetic. Unfortunately, Parker made a series of bizarre styling choices that took this from cute dress to fifteen-year-old reads “layering is hip.” I think I wore this exact same outfit to a birthday party freshman year of high school. On an unrelated note, I also spent a lot of high school birthday parties hiding in the bathroom or talking to the parental chaperones.

If I could pinpoint where this starts to go off the rails, I’d say it’s the white button down with those full sleeves. Once you decided to add a pirate’s blouson to an otherwise nice dress that probably functions just fine on its own, it’s easy to lose all control. Things really took a turn for the worst when she added black stirrup sheer pantyhose. Black tights would have been unsuitable enough, but the stirrup really makes it poetry. From there, it was a pretty easy downward spiral into a string of pearls, an additional chunky gold choker, extraneous rings, and strappy heels.

Oh well, obviously if you have enough public functions to attend, you’re not going to look sensational at every single one. It’s simply a statistical improbability. But I’d be thrilled if Parker just wore a dress at her next event, instead of every item of clothing that she owns. So, what do you think?

I don’t either. I think it’s quirky enough to be cute (although my biggest problem is probably that it’s more appropriate for a young 20-something with the level of quirk…)

Kaitlin Reilly

I just wish I had the shoes to go with it!

Tinyfaeri

I’m OK til you get to the legs, but tights should really have feet or be completely opaque. Stirrups still make me sad from the 90s.

Kay_Sue

I saw the first picture and was like, what is Julia complaining about? That’s kind of cute.

Then I saw the full length one and I’m just…not digging anything from the waist down. The flare of the skirt looks juvenile to me, for some reason. Maybe the pose she’s in? I dunno, but it bugs me. #Petty

Samantha Escobar

If she wasn’t wearing legging-tights, this would be infinitely better. Although, I also wish she wasn’t wearing a shirt under a dress. Although although, I also wish this outfit was just really different than it is.

Alishmcmalish Dayum

…It’s kinda adorable. It looks like something an eccentric elementary school teacher would wear. Makes me think of Ms. Frizzle from the magic school bus

ScarletRegina

I love the dress over the shirt (or maybe i just really love that dress) but the bottom half kind of grosses me out. The footless tights and black shoes don’t work for me. It’s like they are from another outfit.

If she’s ditched the tights and opted for a lighter color shoe this really could have worked.