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Sunday, June 04, 2006

I Did It!

Just a little note to let you know I mowed the lawn Friday night, and I am still alive with all appendages intact! Thank you for all the offers and advice. (Galoot, I am sure the neighbors would have liked your white gut as much as they liked my disgusting bug-bite-covered legs.) Like Grumpy Frump, I have discovered that I have a huge grass allergy. I actually already knew I had it, but I did not realize how red and watery my eyes would be after my grass-cutting adventure. I had planned to get Chipotle after I mowed the lawn, but my eyes were too freaky looking to be seen by the public, so I had to wait until lunch on Saturday for a burrito. All these other blogs obsessing about Chipotle finally got to me!

3 comments:

When I found myself with 1) a lawn and 2) no responsible adult to deal with it, I went with Plan A: pay a neighborhood kid to do it :-D

This worked for several years, but neighborhood kids turn into capitalist pigs, who see mowing my lawn as agonizing deprivation of time better spent with the mirror, the phone and the car.

Plan B: one of those mechanical mowers from my childhood, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Hardware store scene:

Yez: I want one of those lawn mowers with the blades that spin around, no motor. Like in the '50s.

Friendly Hardware Guy: Oh, you mean a reel mower.

Y: Well yeah, of course I want a real mower.

(Lather, rinse, repeat)

Turns out that reel mowers would like their grass pre-cut, TYVM. They sneer, snarl and stop a couple of steps into my hayfield, I mean lawn. So Plan C went into effect, and John Deere got a new customer.

But - wait, what? This involves chemistry? Gas and oil? Whaddya mean, "because it's a 2-stroke engine"? Look, I don't care how many cylinders you have or how often they stroke, none of them should be on a special diet.

Plan D: We (by this time I'd acquired the essential responsible adult) found a gas mower that {{{gasp}}} runs on gas. Just gas! Regular, even!

Considering how many people can't tolerate the smell of grass, it never failed to amaze me that the Gap used to sell a perfume called Grass that replicated the smell to a T. I wonder how many people were taking an innocent sniff and then having allergy attacks next to the baby tee display?

Yez, that sounds like quite the lawn mowing saga! I have never seen anyone mowing on my street except for men. Most of the kids on my street are younger, and the ones that are teens still don't mow. I don't know what the deal is.

Red, I vaguely remember that perfume. Gap and baby tees... oh, the memories.