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Just put him in daycare already!

My nephew is 3 years old and doesn't talk other than ma. He does sign. My sil is deaf and for the most part my nephew is only around other people in the deaf community.
My son is younger than my nephew and has an awesome vocabulary for his age. I try to go over as much as possible, but it ends up being once sometimes twice a month.
Last week we took my nephew to the doctor and he was concerned that he doesn't speak. His hearing is fine, he just doesn't talk. So the doctor suggested daycare, not full-time, just a few hours a day. My sil refused, so I suggested she join my playgroup. Nope. Today I took over a brochure to my son's preschool. They're reputable, not too expensive and they provide transportation.
She just refuses to put him in daycare or preschool.
I'm at my wits end trying to help her. She's doing a disservice to my nephew and if she wants children's services involved, not my problem!

one of the high school girls that i work with was raised by 2 deaf parents. guess what? she and her brother are fine. they speak english fine. she actually corrects people's grammar constantly. this is the same as a second language. he may not use many spoken words. but my guess is that he uses sign mostly. i assume he understands english and he's exposed to it on a regular basis through tv, music, friends, family, church, neighbors, stores, etc. when he goes to school he'll use many more words.

by Anonymous 6
on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:57 PM

Communication is a very important life skill... nothing says it has to be in English.

Quoting lucsch:

I agree with you. For the most part, I think parents should be able to raise their kids however they want. In this case, though, we are talking about an important life skill that he is missing.

by Anonymous 6
on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:59 PM

Has he been evaluated for a delay? He is likely developing just fine, just not in the way you like.

Quoting Anonymous:

I was giving examples of why children's services get involved in families.

No daycare is not mandatory, but helping my nephew develope is. And if she is refusing it can be considered neglect.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

You're talking about school, not daycare. Daycare is not mandatory.

Quoting Anonymous:

If your kid misses to many days of school, steals, has certain special needs children's services gets involved. Not just in abuse or neglect cases. Tho this could be considered neglect.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

Really? How is this any type of abuse? He maybe behind socially, but nothing that the school probably wouldn't give extra attention to if they feel he needs it when he starts school.

Quoting Anonymous:

Children's services here also gets involved in these types of things. Not saying I would call, because I wouldn't. But the doctor might.

Then I highly doubt CPS is going to get involved, considering he's not even in school yet.

Quoting Anonymous:

I was giving examples of why children's services get involved in families.

No daycare is not mandatory, but helping my nephew develope is. And if she is refusing it can be considered neglect.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

You're talking about school, not daycare. Daycare is not mandatory.

Quoting Anonymous:

If your kid misses to many days of school, steals, has certain special needs children's services gets involved. Not just in abuse or neglect cases. Tho this could be considered neglect.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

Really? How is this any type of abuse? He maybe behind socially, but nothing that the school probably wouldn't give extra attention to if they feel he needs it when he starts school.

Quoting Anonymous:

Children's services here also gets involved in these types of things. Not saying I would call, because I wouldn't. But the doctor might.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

Why would CPS need to be involved?

by Anonymous 6
on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:00 PM

Then she has a plan. Leave her alone. He's fine

Quoting Anonymous:

I suggested playgroup, she declined. And the local school for the deaf won't take him until kindergarten. They also take hearing children with deaf parents.

Quoting VarelaClan:

While I do believe he should be learning to speak, I don't think daycare is the answer. I bet with some research, they could find a program for this type of situation.

by Anonymous 7
on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:01 PM

My step son's doc told his mother if she didn't teach him English he would have to report her because she was only teaching him Spanish and we didn't have much impact on his English because we only had him eowo so she had us keep him for 6 months and I taught him to speak English.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:01 PM

They don't own a tv, she's deaf so she doesn't listen to music. We visit, but not regularly. I assume your friends parents taught your friend to speak? That's the difference.

Quoting jocelynred:

one of the high school girls that i work with was raised by 2 deaf parents. guess what? she and her brother are fine. they speak english fine. she actually corrects people's grammar constantly. this is the same as a second language. he may not use many spoken words. but my guess is that he uses sign mostly. i assume he understands english and he's exposed to it on a regular basis through tv, music, friends, family, church, neighbors, stores, etc. when he goes to school he'll use many more words.

Many time when children are learning two languages, as he is. They are delayed in speech. It's totally normal. And once they start speaking, it's fluently in both languages.
Be realistic, he can communicate, and he's three. It's not abuse that she chooses what programs to put her child in, for interactions.
He will catch up, and odds are when he begins to talk it will be quickly, and in full sentences.
All kids develop differently, as your son may be more verbal, her son may not be as verbal at this point.

that depends... if he's in a ASL community, then the schools are more ASL based than traditional/public schools outside of that community.... he wont be at a disservice... and if he decides to go into something that deals with ASL as a career- again, not a disservice. just depending on how you look at it.

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

In a couple of years he is going to start school and won't be able to communicate. That is doing him a huge disservice.

Quoting Anonymous:

She might just want to raise him in the deaf community. And ASL is a language, so he does "talk," it is just not a language you speak.

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