You've probably heard me moan about English beurocracy before.
Well they're nothing compared to the Russians! I'm trying to get a
tourist visa so I can go and spend money in their country, boosting
their economy. Silly me!

For starters, the Cold War never ended, if the visa procedures are
anything to go by. You have to get an official invitation confirming
you have accomodation booked for your stay. Then you can get the
visa from the embassy, 9am-11:30am a few days a week. When you arrive
in Russia, you must register with the Interior Ministry, just so they
can keep track of you.

So I have a question for them, and phone them up to ask. "Look on
the web site," the none too cheerful woman answering the phone tells
me. I've already looked, and the information I need isn't there, I
tell her. "Well I can't help you. Call the consular number."
Problem is, when the consular number isn't engaged, they don't answer
the phone.