The Actors are working on a laptop computer or with some
other device. Long pause. The audience should be getting restless. The First
Actor glances out at the audience and notices them looking at the stage.

FIRST ACTOR
Shit!!!

SECOND ACTOR

What?

FIRST ACTOR
I think they can see us! Shit!!!

SECOND ACTOR
No. It just looks that way sometimes.
They’re watching "the show."

FIRST ACTOR
No! They’re watching us!

SECOND ACTOR
Shit! The drugs must be wearing off!

FIRST ACTOR
Shit! When?

SECOND ACTOR
I don’t know! Probably just now.
They look pretty dopey.

FIRST ACTOR
Shit. Do you think they know where they
are?

SECOND ACTOR
If they just came out of it, they probably
think they’re still at the theater.

FIRST ACTOR
Shit. Give them more drugs, before they
see the lab.

The Second Actor uses a device as though he were spraying
the air with it.

FIRST ACTOR
But they’ve seen us!

SECOND ACTOR
Shit. If we’re lucky, they’ll still think they're
seeing the actors.

[Note: If this is being performed at a venue where
the audience will know the names of the actorsw, then the last line could be
changed to: "If we're lucky,they'll still think they're seeing
____________ and _____________" with the blanks filled with the first names of
the actors.]

FIRST ACTOR
But they’ve been listening! They’ve heard
what we just said. They’ll remember!

SECOND ACTOR
Shit!

The Second Actor gets an idea, steps downstage, and
addresses the audience.

SECOND ACTOR
So, that was our sketch.

FIRST ACTOR
Sketch?

SECOND ACTOR
Yeah. See, in case you didn’t get it, I'll
explain. In our sketch, you were supposed
to think we were drugging you, and you
weren’t really at the theater any more, but at
our lab where we were experimenting on you
– see, in the sketch you were supposed to think
you came out of a drug induced state and caught
us. In the sketch. It’s only a sketch. See
it was supposed to be kind of like “The Matrix”
- where people think they’re just living their lives,
but it’s not real - or that other movie about the
clones being raised for transplants. What was
that called?

FIRST ACTOR
“The Island.”

SECOND ACTOR
Right. “The Island.”

FIRST ACTOR
But this is just a sketch!

SECOND ACTOR
Yeah. A sketch!

FIRST ACTOR
|
We weren’t really spraying drugs and putting
you to sleep and performing experiments.

SECOND ACTOR
So just sit back and breathe deep. Relax. Take
your mind off of us. And enjoy the show. You’re
not being experimented on. You’re awake and
watching the show. And very, very relaxed. Hey!
Another sketch is just about to start.

FIRST ACTOR
And if later you wake up, and your butt’s sore,
it’s not because we performed anal probes on you.

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author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own,
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author's permission. Without limiting the
foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express
permission.