with Lisa Wessan, LICSW

I’m bedazzled by the electromagnetic field (EMF) radiation around me! But is it hurting us? More will be revealed…

Ever since I heard of this Fitbit technology I was concerned about the possibly harmful effects of the radiation on my health and body. But my concerns were swept aside when my nephew shed 165 lbs. strictly by using his Fitbit daily, tracking movement, food intake and using all the app can do. I was inspired, and thought maybe it could help me release my unwanted pounds, too.

So I have been using my Fitbit since last November…the good news is that I have been tracking 10,000 steps or more nearly every day and it is fun to see the counts come in and get cheered by my fellow Fitbit friends. My overall health metrics are very good.

The less good news is that I have not released my extra weight in any significant way, plus I just recently developed a rash from my wearing my Fitbit daily.

I’ve discussed my multidimensional food challenges in other articles, so for today I’m just going to share about this Fitbit rash, because I care about and love my readers here who might also be getting hurt from your wearable tech.

Research on the dangers of wearable tech

I suggest you search at Google Scholar online for “Dangers of Fitbit” and “Fitbit Rash” to see what’s been coming down the pike on this topic. For me, these were the three most interesting articles from reliable sources:

Besides the unknown effects of the chronic wireless marination of our bodies, there is clear evidence in Dr. Russell’s report in the SCCMA about the dangers of this radiation for our birds, bees, trees and other wildlife.

Robert’s article in Consumer Reports gives some excellent suggestions to curb the exposure to radiation towards the end of the article.

I’m not here to preach anything to anyone, I just love our beautiful Earth and want it to be sustained for 10,000 generations and more. Plus, I want to see the epidemic of cancer be reduced and eliminated. It’s very possible that our environment is causing this massive cancer phenomenon and we can do something to curtail this now.

Oh my, I know you will be annoyed to hear this – but we need to pull back and be more mindful of how we use our devices here!

Some background: When I was younger, I was a full time environmental activist for a while. I served as the Executive Director of the Strategic Defense of the Environment Group (SDEG). Our goal was to preserve as much of the rainforest terrain as possible, more dramatically, “TO SAVE THE LUNGS OF THE PLANET!”

SDEG produced a very successful conference in Rabat, Morocco in October 1995, covered by five countries’ television crews, with 5,000 attendees. In sum, due to SDEG’s efforts, legislation was revised and improved in Brazil to reduce the deforestation of the rainforest dramatically, so we definitely had a positive influence. Plus all the Ministers of Environment around the world got to meet each other and create useful networks.

Why I stopped being a full-time environmental activist: after SDEG I chose to shift from a macro career dealing with global transformation issues to a more intimate micro focus, dealing with individuals’ and small groups’ transformation process as a therapist. At the end of the day, battling governments’ legislation issues was not for me. I have deep respect for those who do battle with policy, Big Pharma, Big Oil and all of the contributors to our planet’s health challenges.

Solution Focused

For today, I support a bunch of exemplary environmental groups that are doing the work for me, as it were. You can donate to any of these organizations and know that your loving kindness will be doing great things for our planet (for a full list of my favorite environmental charities, just request it below in Comments):

Do cell phones cause brain cancer, or other harmful side effects?

One of the many things I did learn at SDEG is that even in the 1990s scientists were concerned about the cell phone towers and how the electromagnetic fields (EMF) generating radiation were affecting the environment, and us.

Shameless fact: I was the last person in my family and circle of friends to get a cell phone because I had read so much scientific research at SDEG on the dangers of EMF. I still never put my cell phone next to my ear.

I am excited to announce the next 14-week Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT) Group in Westford, MA will be starting a new evening trimester on Thursday, March 28, 2019, 7:30 – 9 PM.

We will be covering both the Emotion Regulation and Mindfulness modules. (This is an ongoing group that has Open Enrollment Periods three times per year. This group is non-binary/co-ed, ages 18+, tuition fee applies/non-insurance based.)

The Emotion Regulation module has four sections:

Understanding and Naming Emotions

Changing Emotional Responses

Reducing Vulnerability to Emotion Mind

Managing Extremely Difficult Emotions

The Mindfulness material includes:

Learning to be a good observer

Being non-judgmental

Staying in the present

Practicing being effective

Accessing Wise Mind (aka higher self, higher consciousness)

Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from negative or critical thoughts.

As DBT founder Dr. Marsha Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”

As part of my Let Go & Lighten Up programs (for voluntary simplicity and decluttering), I strongly suggest participants find a safe person with whom to work in between groups or individual sessions.

Here is a short list of requirements and tips that I have found useful for successfully working with a Clutter Buddy (“CB”):

1. The CB has a clutter or hoarding challenge, too, and is willing to take turns every other week, rotating the role of being the CB or “the client.” This is a free, non-professional, peer-to-peer service for mutual aid. Thus we have the makings of a dynamic CB Duo!

2. The CB lives or works nearby, so there is no “travel resistance” due to excessive gas mileage expenses or travel time.

3. The CB is unconditionally accepting and kind. That is to say, if your client is holding up an old vest with holes in it and ragged edges, the CB would NOT say, “What are you crazy? Throw that rag out! It’s disgusting!” Nay, nay, this is a toxic candidate, which may rule out best friends, relatives, spouses and well-meaning peers. Sometimes an acquaintance or pleasant stranger you meet in a group might be best, or a neighbor who you like and trust but don’t know that well. I always invite attendees at my groups to try to find a CB in the group. It’s a safe place to meet a local acquaintance who shares the same issue.

4. The CB needs to be willing to follow the format, and stick with the Four Questions (which I will discuss in a few paragraphs). The CB should be able to maintain silence except when the client asks a question, or to offer one of the Four Questions, and be aware that this time is for the client. If the CB is loquacious and insists on having a running commentary on everything and everyone, this will be stressful and painfully distracting for the client.

Most important, the CB needs to respect that the client is struggling with Clutter Blindness (1), and can’t even see the absurdity of his hoard. As the late, great comedian George Carlin once observed, “Did you ever notice how your crap is stuff, and every else’s stuff is crap?”

5. The CB is not there to offer a cleaning or hauling service. In fact, the CB is required to sit still and help the client stay focused. It’s acceptable for the CB to do needlework, read a book, or write notes on paper. No eating or drinking during the session, except during the breaks. No electronics, tablets, headsets, smart phone games or checking email. The CB is allowed to accept a quick call, but optimally the phone is on vibrate. The CB needs to be able to keep one eye on the client and make sure they are staying on task. They are also ready to be emotionally supportive if the client reaches an impasse, expresses unresolved grief, and needs to talk about the feelings coming up in a safe milieu.

Without giving CBs formal clinical training in reflective listening, I explain how that works and encourage the CB Duo to practice reflective listening with each other. No advice, no fixing, no rescuing here. Just passive listening and kindness. It’s not hard to learn, but it is difficult to practice.

6. The CB must respect the planned “Flake Breaks,” whether they are five or fifteen minutes long. I think it’s healthy to call these Flake Breaks, borrowing from psychologist Martha Becks’ recent discussion of coping with flakiness (2). The mirth and lightness of the term helps to dissolve some of the shame related to this activity.

Prior to each session, the client and CB will discuss how many and at what time the breaks will occur. For most clients, they can usually work consistently for one hour before needing a 10-15 minute break. As each ideal session is two hours long, this would be one break per session.

If the client has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or any processing impairment, it would be better to work with smaller segments, and then allow for more Flake Breaks. But those breaks need to be timed. For example, if the client can sustain 15 minutes of decluttering, the break is just five minutes.

Loading up on sugar, caffeine or alcohol is not a good idea for a break. I suggest that all CB Duos integrate laughter therapy into the work, so that it helps release some of the stress of the work. Being intentional about this means perhaps bringing funny cards, humorous cartoons, books with jokes (available for free from the library) which all help to make that Flake Break more valuable.

The Four Questions

The Four Questions for decluttering your home or office are most useful when you are decluttering your non-paper collection or hoard. The client or the CB can ask these questions for each item, to be used for clothes, jewelry, accessories, bric-à-brac, attics, basements, appliances, stuffed closets and drawers.

When working with your CB, it’s helpful when the CB asks you these questions with kindness and unconditional regard. No judgment allowed! When your CB asks you these questions, pause, take a deep breath, be as honest as you can be and bravely prepare to go forth and send the items to Good Will, consignment or trash.

If you answer “NO” to questions one through three, it will be an easier toss. If you answer “YES” to one of them, you may need to have a brief discussion about the item with your CB to process and re-evaluate your item.

1. Does it lift my energy when I think about it or look at it?
2. Do I absolutely love it?
3. Is it genuinely useful?
4. DO I WANT THIS? OR DO I WANT FREEDOM?

Question number four is always my favorite — for each cluttering item is sucking away at your freedom and serenity.

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When I did my first training for certification in Laughter Yoga, Laughter Meditation and Laughter Therapy, my teacher, Madan Kataria, MD, talked about his vision for world peace through laughter. Some scoffed, but he planted a seed in me during that training…I had a vision of having a large room, or even Madison Square Garden, filled with Muslims and Jews, experiencing extended, massive periods of laughter together. Not laughing at jokes – not that there’s anything wrong with that – but laughing at the absurdities, incongruities and paradoxes that surround the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and that permeate the prejudices in all confused religious conflicts.

Besides all the extraordinary physiological benefits from laughter which you have experienced – the lowering of cortisol levels, muscle relaxation, and improved memory and cognitive functioning – I have seen what laughing together in groups can do. It dissolves anxieties, tensions, prejudices, fears and allows people to feel safe enough to say what they need to say. Laughter is surprisingly disarming, and when we laugh together our walls and facades come down. Laughter is the great equalizer, one of the most profound democratizing energetic forces available for transformation.

Well, it happened this summer…right here 30 miles north of Boston, due to the progressive spiritual leadership of the Qutbi Masjid (mosque) of North Billerica, MA, and Congregation Shalom of North Chelmsford, MA. These two enlightened communities teamed up for a day of healing in the Merrimack Valley. I was invited to be the keynote speaker at this Health and Wellness Fair…what an exciting moment!

My vision for a harmonious Middle East, for more brotherly acceptance and respect (and eventually love) seems to be happening now. My hope and prayer is that this moves from the micro to the macro level, one laugh at a time. Read more about this incredible event in this recent article from THE JEWISH JOURNAL.

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Imagine my surprise when I was decluttering some ancient papers from B.C. (before Chelmsford) this morning… and what turns up in the paper casket? A quote from a 2001 interview with Julia Childs, co-author of Mastering the Art of French Cooking,“You should not be engaged in anything that doesn’t make you absolutely tremble with joy.” (Time Out New York, April 19, 2001, p. 176).

Bravo, Julia! To answer my question, “What is joy?” Julia is reminding me that if I follow my bliss, follow my most joyful attractions, and do what I love, I will never have to work another day in my life!

What about trembling? Thank you Julia for reminding me that trembling is good… First, it’s normal to want to be passionate about one’s work. Second, a little shaking and being wobbly, perhaps being out of my comfort zone, is often when the joy slips in after the challenge is completed. Living on the razor’s edge between fear and excitement can certainly lead to more joy in living.

I am reminded of my first tango lesson with my husband. We were both nervous… understandably so, being in a new environment with mostly slender, chic, graceful people around us. We were the only two chubbettes on the dance floor. But I felt proud that we were pursuing our joy regardless of our plus-sized bodies. Turns out, we love to tango, and we’re pretty good at it too. The initial trembling and excitement has blossomed into one of our sexy and fulfilling shared pastimes.

Whenever we take a new tango class, we may revisit our initial trembling – on the mild side – because we never know if the teacher will be good, non-judgmental, patient with beginners and so on. But therein lies the excitement of life, in not knowing… wouldn’t it be truly dull to know it all ahead of time?

What will happen in 2010? Where will we go? Who will we meet? How many creative new ways will we find to express our love? Will we learn to deeply forgive, accept and move on quicker in 2010? Will we finally clean out our basements, attics, closets and drawers? Will we hit that high note in our career? Therein lies the excitement – in NOT KNOWING.

One of my favorite teachers once said, “True Mastery is learning to live in ambiguity with JOY!” When I first heard that in my early twenties, I was crushed – it seemed impossible for me at the time. Yet I have always held that up as a goal, to be able to live in the ambiguity, the paradox, the incongruity, with a more positive mindset, or at least be able to laugh at the absurdity of it all. What a concept! I continue to practice this one, perhaps for lifetimes… OY!… the fun never ends.