Search This Blog

"not like other girls"

youtuber arden rose recently made a video, explaining why she never had female friends.

as i was watching this, i could totally relate to her in a way, and i remembered the time in my life when i started hanging out with boys, more often than i did with girls.

now, this thing only lasted for a small period of time but i think i was in 4th grade, and i used to think that having friends who were boys was less drama, and every girl in my school would bully me and talk behind my back. (because most of them really did)

this is really embarrassing but i was in a group of guy friends and we bonded by talking about how annoying the other girls were and i related to [those guy friends] because they liked skrillex. yep.

i did not realize that i was a crappy person who was hating on my own gender.

good thing it was all a phase and i was just trying to be "cool".

another one of my favorite youtubers, savannah brown responded to arden's video- and this brings me back to the more recent years (2013-14 to be exact) where in i act like a pretentious hipster.

ha ha, yes, you read that right, i had a phase when i felt like i was way better than other girls, and the reasons were because:

1) i hated pop music and listened to "indie bands"

2) i didn't like the color pink as much as other girls did

3) i preferred disney villains instead of princesses

4) i absolutely hated the movie frozen because it was too mainstream. i really did.

i was acting like this because i did not want to be like other girls.

an example of the "not like other girls" mentality

meaning that i did not want to people to think of me as the typical girl who only likes make up, the color pink, social media, boys and mean girls quotes.

but you know what, i do like make up, pink, social media, boys and mean girls quotes.

so what's so wrong with being a "typical" girl?

i think another reason i did not want to be like the "typical girl" because i also did not want to be associated with being weak and boring- and i wanted to be badass by liking things that typical girls didn't.

a quote i once loved, before realizing it was uber sexist

but the main reason why i didn't want to be stereotyped was because i wanted people to know me, respect me and appreciate me as the person that i really was, not just another girl.

and that was the wrong thing to do.

i did feel different and unique, and that was a good thing, but i didn't realize that it was internalized misogyny and i was pulling my whole gender down by having these condemning thoughts. even if it was all in my head. but hey, don't worry, i'm so over it.

as savannah said:

"we can't get angry at girls who think like that because they're only thinking that way because they've seen how other girls get treated and stereotyped and dehumanized. they've seen how other girls are called bitches, or annoying, or seen as inferior, and they're just trying to get you to treat them like a human being."

so why do us females have to fit into a certain stereotype?

halsey

because that's how most people, (especially cisgendered men) think.

they believe that majority of women have to be more feminine and ladylike. it's like, when you're a woman you shouldn't laugh too loud, you shouldn't be into sports and video games, you shouldn't dress up to revealingly so you wouldn't get called a slut (but you shouldn't cover up too much as well because people would call you a prude), you should not be too smart or too successful because that's too emasculating, you shouldn't have tattoos or short haircuts because people will immediately assume that you're a lesbian (and apparently, that's wrong).

and why do boys have to fit into a certain stereotype as well??

the 1975

again, that's how most people think.

when you're a guy you gotta act like a man -you should be masculine and tough because that means you're being a pussy and acting like a weak little girl. you're not allowed to cry and love artsy things and act too feminine or you will be labeled as gay (because yeah, being gay is a bad thing, right??)

and honestly, i am so tired of all this crap. people have so many high expectations for our genders, that if you're a girl you should be this and if you're a boy should be that.

oh and please keep this in mind- if a man is gay, this does not immediately mean that he wants to be a woman. and if a woman is a lesbian, this does not immediately mean she wants to be a man. preference & gender identity are two different things.

you can't force everyone into certain stereotypes, because we all are human beings that have our own personalities, emotions, likes, dislikes, beliefs, goals and ambitions in life.

we have to make a change, we should stop perpetuating the the typical girl and typical boy stereotype.

i'm glad that there are people in my generation who are somehow socially aware, but there is so much more to learn.

Comments

Truly fantastic point of view coming from a 14 year old girl who was raised with good manners and unbelievable state of mind. The flow of the entire blog was seeming-less. It is a fusion of great intelligence and true beauty. I am so happy to know that 5 minutes of my time reading this was worth it. Keep it up Ataska! Let it go! (ooppss, Frozen alert, too mainstream hahah) God bless

even when you lied
i ignored each and every flaw in your system
and you continued to be a source of my happiness

but then i remembered–
i don't go out in the sun
because it's bad for mehow pathetic
i was so scared to lose you
that i lost myself instead
and i failed to remember–
even if you brought me so much joy
you brought out the worst in me

i broke the hearts
of the people who love me the most
just because
i loved you
too easily

when the sun goes down
is when it becomes worse
i ask myself
was it worth it at all?it hit me
what if you weren't actually my sunshine?
and you were the moon all along?
like what juliet said: don't swear by the moon. the moon is always changing.
i would be lying
if i said i wouldn't miss you
and it frustrates me that
i will never know
if you felt the same way

if you cared about me
as much as i cared about you
and if you loved me
as deeply as i loved you
you should've let me know
words are just words