This year, my middle child and only daughter took a STEM class. In this class, she did various things, including take pictures and work on the yearbook.

At the end of the year, the members of the class had to do a project. The project she chose was to program an M-Bot. One of her other classmates programmed an M-Bot to do a specific routine. One of her classmates built something to hold a baritone horn. Another created stress ‘toys’ for the kids to play with. Another used touch circuits to play a game – and another used them to run lights.

My music loving daughter programmed hers to play Happy Birthday since the final presentation was on my birthday.
I was actually pretty impressed. No, it’s not difficult to program something to make the same few notes and play Happy Birthday, but it’s still pretty cool for a 13 year old girl to choose.

This is my artist, and the 2nd of my 3 self-proclaimed geeks. Even if my oldest doesn’t admit it – he may, I haven’t asked – he is a geek and a gamer just like his mom. My youngest two like to challenge themselves – I think it’s the competition between them. They push each other more than I thought they would.

Last week, I didn’t say much, but I was definitely a frustration crier. Then we had the memorial for my stepdad, and I couldn’t make it through the memorial without crying. I had a bunch of funny anecdotes that I said during the memorial in Florida in February. This time, all I could do is talk about how I missed him.

I meant to talk about how he didn’t bother chasing one of my brothers down the road when that brother broke another brother’s arm. He sat in the brother’s room and just waited for him to come back.

Or he was kicked by a cow (that we named Faith), and he hit her over the back, breaking his own arm. The cow made it to the dinner plate.

Or I spent a lot of time being his helper – his grease monkey, and he is why I learned so much about working on the house, or on a car, or even general knowledge about plumbing. So many times I helped with his work on the apartments we owned and rented to people. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent painting and helping him with soldering, and other work needed on the apartments that had been vacated – preparing them for the next tenant.

I’m back at work this week. Too much on my mind, and trying to get everything together to send to the dealership in Pennsylvania. I checked my work email while on vacation, so I was able to catch up fairly easily. On the other hand, my work has been reduced lately because of a sales slow down. I’m hoping that it’s only temporary.

I’ve been wondering if I should actually start with my writing again. I know that I’ve been posting more often, but I miss my fiction writing. I miss coming up with my stories. I don’t miss the writing I was doing for Textbroker, but that wasn’t very creative.

The problem that I have with the creative writing is that I got discouraged. I submitted a good story and it was rejected, so I dropped the writing. I don’t want to let that rule my life any more. I was told it was a good story, it just wasn’t what they were looking for.

The writing I was doing for Textbroker has given me the ability to work on my copywriting website. I’m able to pretend that I’m writing for someone else – which is good, because I’m not much of a person to promote myself.

I think all of it is tied together. I had issues with things someone told me repeatedly. I let all of this stay in my head. It all just colored my view of things. I know that a lot of people have issues with self confidence. I just need to let it go and work past my fears.

So, obviously I’m starting the working past my fears by opening up more here. I still won’t mention where I work, and I still won’t mention names, but I think I can work things out better by getting it all out on paper or on the screen.

So, we get from Oklahoma to New York, and the clutch went out. On a Sunday. In the middle of the interstate off ramp.

We had to pay for a tow, then a hotel. I walked the .5 miles to the dealership at 7:30 am. They couldn’t look at it until after noon. Total cost was quoted at $1800 not counting the tow and unexpected hotel stay (I had already sent my portion of the cost of the resort).

So we traded the car. Got something cute, but crappier gas mileage. The funeral is tomorrow, now today (Tuesday). We were stuck if we were going to make it to the memorial.

I’ll adjust. I liked the dealership. They bent over backwards for us, considering that I was upside down on the car and they had a huge repair to do.

The master cylinder/slave cylinder is a problem on Dodge Darts for 2013 to 2015. I’ve been wanting to get rid of the car since my last trip to New York. It was sticky at the end of that trip. I don’t feel cheated by the dealership, just discouraged.

I missed out on a day and a half with family. I spent my older sister’s birthday without my family around. It may be the 2nd birthday after she died, but I think it was harder not being in my normal routine.

It’s just been an overwhelming couple of days, and I’m not sure tomorrow’s memorial service for my stepdad will help. I’ll get through it though.

Signal is spotty, so I’ll be hit or miss, but it will be nice to be at the lake again. Relaxing will be nice 🙂

I might actually have gotten my hosting moved. I’ve been trying to get everything done for a week, so we’ll see. I have until 6/9 to test it out, and then my old hosting is going away. I’m paranoid that I’m going to lose something with this site. The rest, they are just simple designs or only have one post. This blog has been in operation more than 9 years.

To add to my stress, we’re planning on a trip to Vermont in a week. My stepdad died in March, and mom had a memorial in Florida – where they live now. Since so much of our family is still in Vermont, we have another memorial on the 12th. I’m finding myself worried about everything. From whether I have enough money saved for the trip to whether we’ll have car trouble. I think maybe I’m just borrowing trouble this week. I’ve started making lists to help me make sure everything is set.

It’s certainly going to be a busy week. On Monday, my middle child and only girl is going to youth camp with church. She gets back on Friday afternoon, only to have us turn around and leave again on Saturday morning to drive 24+ hours to northeastern Vermont.

I know what the issue is with the money. I’ve spent so many years with such a tight budget. I have barely been able to go anywhere. Since I moved to Oklahoma in 2005, this is only the 2nd time I’ll have gone to Vermont. Add in 3 or 4 trips to Florida, including the time I spent 7 months there, and I just don’t get to leave Oklahoma much. So I start expecting something to go wrong when I leave. Sounds fun, welcome to my brain.

On the other hand, I’ve reserved a vacation rental on Shadow Lake, and it looks great. Now the temps up there are only going to be in the 70’s, so I’m going to be spoiled when I come back. Here, we’re looking at a heat index of 98. Plus the wind that makes it feel like you’re sitting in a convection oven. I’m not crazy about Oklahoma temperatures.

I want my kids to get to know the area I grew up in. That’s part of why I’m happy with the trip. I’d like to take them to Church Street Marketplace in Burlington. I loved spending time there, but I’m sure they don’t have half of the stores they used to. Or maybe they do; I guess we’ll see.

I’d also like to take the Lake Champlain Ferry. There’s one that does an ~hour tour of the lake and talks about the geography of the area. Of climbing Mt Mansfield (or Mt Hor or Pisgah since they’re closer to where we’re staying). I’d like to take them to the North Pole amusement park, or some of the other minor things that we did growing up. One of these days I’d even like to take them skiing. Or to a sugar house.

We live in Oklahoma, they know how their dad grew up. I’d love to give them a chance to see the Northeast Kingdom in all its year round beauty.

I know I have a tendency toward overthinking. I just let it get to me, and I need to let go instead. The money is fine. More than fine, since I had put aside money to pay for a dog boarding that we decided not to use.

Scrolling through the TV guide tonight, I found the American Chopper reboot. This is one of the few reality shows I used to watch, though I preferred Monster Garage – a bit more fabrication and a bit less drama.

I have enough drama in my life without watching pointless drama on TV.

Anyway, the Teutuls are back on TV and it seems surreal. Especially with how they’ve aged, and Paul Sr looks like he has lost muscle.

In a way, I’m trying to get back to where I was. I’m making an effort to blog more. I’m writing more. I’m trying to remember a time before my gall bladder problem. I’ve also started thinking it’s something else. Some weeks I can’t get enough sleep.

I am working on my health from the back end, but I’m writing more to remind myself of what I like. I’m writing to make sure I’m not sleeping poorly because I bottle everything inside. The more I write, the more relaxed I am, so it seems to be working.

So, it’s been a while since I posted. I really try to keep up, but time gets away from me. So what’s a girl to do?

In March, my stepdad died. This is the man who raised me after my parents got divorced. He’s been my stepdad my whole life, since he and mom were married twice, once before I was born (that’s why I have 3 older half brothers that are his) and the second time after I was born. He and mom had been together for over 50 years.

We knew that he was getting worse. In the last 6 months of his life, he was in and out of the hospital at least once a month. On Superbowl Sunday, he had an episode in the hospital where they couldn’t get his oxygen above 90. He came home in February and hospice came over every day. Mom bought a hospital bed, because he was too weak to get himself from a bed to his wheelchair.

Since my dad died in 2003, this is the second father I’ve lost. It makes me sad to think about us getting old. I hate, hate, hate the thought of losing my mother. It’s going to happen, though. Eventually. Her mom was haying at 82, so we have a while – yes, I come from a farm family. That’s where I got my interest in nature. As long as mom keeps her mental faculties, then we’re fine. Her mother died from complications from Alzheimer’s at 87.

So, this post has turned into a bummer.

There’s been drama with my husband’s side of the family. I love them, but sometimes I don’t like them a whole lot. Of course, this is really just certain members of his family. The rest I like or even love. I just don’t always understand them.

I grew up in a big family. My mom’s side of the family used every little excuse to get together – at least 4 to 5 times a year when I was growing up. My husband’s family, half of them don’t talk to the other half, and they’re scattered over 3 states. I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself the first year with no big Christmas party to go to. And of course, multiple trips to visit my family can get expensive when I’m in OK, and they’re in FL and NC.

Then, my job. I know I referred to it obliquely at one time, but there was a big merger of 3 companies in 2010, including the one I worked for. Well, this last year, the company I worked for was bought out. A lot of people have lost their jobs. I don’t know if I’ll have a job past the beginning of next year or not. I’ve been offered a job, but that doesn’t mean things won’t change once we’re on the same system as everyone else. Everyone is replaceable.

So, that’s my update in a nutshell. On the one hand, we’re still in our own (fully paid for) house. On the other, my personal life is in an uproar.

I’ve finally started losing weight for real this time. I’m finding more energy than I have had in a long time. The dog is happy with the daily (or almost daily) walks. I just need the other part of my life to calm down.

I’m not going to touch what’s going on in 2 days. I’m still taking a wait and see attitude. I might need some popcorn for the show though, since it looks like it’s going to be a doozy. For all of those who are saying Democrats lost, get over it – remember you didn’t. Remember the assertions that Obama was Muslim, that Obama wasn’t born in the US. All of those assertions were proved wrong, but people still insisted on believing them. Now if anything is brought up about Trump, then it’s ‘but Hillary… emails!’ Whatever. She wasn’t elected, so what does she have to do with the illegal stuff he’s doing? I do look at everything else, and have my thoughts, which I’m sure I’ll come out with soon enough.

Now that makes it very interesting. A lot of people are fed up with who we have in Congress. They want to impose term limits. Well, they’re not very well going to do it themselves, but there’s a way the states can start constitutional amendments. We can force what congress isn’t willing to do, we just need to follow Article V of the Constitution. I for one like the idea of imposing limits on some of what’s been going on.

We have grown adults acting worse than a preschooler in congress, because they aren’t willing to compromise. I’m sorry, at that point it’s more like they’re saying they’re going to take their toys and go home. Let’s not even think about the simple obstructionism that’s been going on for 6 years. If we have to clean house for the white house, let’s clean the rest of the cesspool as well.

I’d rather take a wait and see attitude for the constitutional amendments as well. Let’s see what they come up with before we decide to petition our lawmakers to reject something. Because once we know what amendments they want to add, then we can act. It’s not too late – oddly even after it’s passed, it’s not too late. Look at the 18th amendment – prohibition was an actual amendment to the constitution after all.

Ok, so I love pretty much all of the podcasts from HowStuffWorks.com. Stuff You Missed in History Class? Great. TechStuff? Fascinating. Today, I’m catching up on the podcasts from Stuff They Don’t Want You to Know. I don’t listen to this one as much, but it’s a fun look anyway. Podcasts on alchemy, cattle mutilation, why you can’t win online arguments (and why you participate in them). It’s all pretty cool and broken down into why we respond like we do.

Right now, I’m listening to a podcast on political conspiracies. Including one that Trump may be running for president so that Hilary actually wins. They’re talking about whether the US is a meritocracy, and it’s from before Jeb Bush withdrew from the race, where one candidate is the wife of a former president, and another is the son and brother of former presidents.

Do I think this is true? I think Jeb Bush withdrawing from the race is enough to show it’s not. However, it’s amusing to think that Trump is only running to fracture the GOP so that Hilary wins. It’s certainly not definite that she’s going to win the democratic ticket at the moment. I don’t think Bernie has a huge chance, but it’s not definite.

Bear in mind, I haven’t seen anything on results from today’s primaries. The following is just my thoughts from things I’ve seen on MSN, Yahoo and Google. I can’t vote today because I’m registered as independent and only Republicans and Democrats can vote for any of the presidential candidates today.

I foresee a major crumble in the US just reading the ‘news’ sites. Trump and Clinton both scare me and they’re the front runners for their respective parties. My husband is happy, he seems to like that misogynist, racist Trump. Ugh. I suspect that if Trump wins the electors he needs that the GOP is going to split with a less divisive candidate also running (e.g. Rubio) which will divide the GOP votes and put HRC in office.

I foresee a lot of doom & gloom in the above scenario, so I really hope I’m not right. I also would like to see more competition on the DNC side of this election. The lack of competition makes HRC seem inevitable as president.

I really think it’s time to move away from having a Bush or Clinton in the White House.