MORE IDENTIFICATIONS:
Give yourself one point (up to a total of three) for each film you can name that...
...Dalton Trumbo wrote, but did NOT receive on-screen credit for at the time.
...Martin Scorsese received an Oscar nomination for.
...features the director in an onscreen speaking role.

...was a silent film directed by Alfred Hitchock, Frank Capra, or John Ford.
...was a student film directed by George Lucas, Stephen Spielberg, Robert Rodriguez, or Bob Zemeckis.

QUOTES
For each of the following quotes, give yourself one point if you can identify which movie it came from; one point if you can identify the actor who said it; and one point if you can name the writer or writers credited with the screenplay. (Answers are not provided because if you aren't positive you know the answer, you shouldn't get Movie Geek Points for it.)

"Mr. & Mrs. Ignatz Ratsky-Watsky."
"I don't drink... wine."
"Everything has been said, provided words do not change their meanings, or meanings their words."
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."
"And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"
"A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl."
"The vessel with the pestle has the pellet with the poison."
"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
"I make more money than Calvin Coolidge--put together!"
"Did I ever tell you about Sammy Jankis?"
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"
"Look how she moves! That's just like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell you, it's a whole different sex."

FILM THEORY

Do you...
know what "Mise-en-scéne" is?
know what "montage" is?
know what the auteur theory is?
have an opinion on the auteur theory?
suspect that anybody who disagrees with your opinion on the auteur theory simply doesn't understand film?

Have you ever lived in Los Angeles for more than three weeks?
Do you feel the above question displayed an inexcusably narrow viewpoint about the film industry?
Have you ever purchased a copy of "Variety" or "The Hollywood Reporter?"
Has your name ever appeared in "Variety" or "The Hollywood Reporter"?
Have you ever written anything that has appeared in "Variety," "The Hollywood Reporter," "Premiere," or "Entertainment Weekly"?
Have you ever bought stock in a company based at least partly on the fact that the company is involved in motion picture production?
Have you ever invested money directly in a movie?

Give yourself one point, up to three, for each...
screenplay you have written.
screenplay you have written that has been sold.
screenplay you have written that has been made into a movie.
movie you have directed (home movies count, if you thought of yourself as the director while you were making it.)
movie you have acted in.
movie for which you have been director of photography.
movie you have edited.
movie you've played any other role in making (as makeup artist, key grip, or anything else.)

If you have been involved in so many movies that you felt gypped for only getting three points for any of the questions above, give yourself one extra bonus point. Happy now, Ennio Morricone?
Give yourself a bonus point if you understand why I mentioned Ennio Morricone by name in the above question.
Give yourself a bonus point if you feel you should have been mentioned by name instead of Ennio Morricone.
Have you ever received an Oscar or an Oscar nomination?
Have you ever attended the Oscars? (Waiting outside to gawk at the stars counts.)

Give yourself one point for each of the following organizations you can
identify:

AMPAS
WGA
SAG/AFTRA
DGA
ASC
ACE
HFPA
BAFTA
IATSE

Give yourself one point for each of the preceding organizations you have ever belonged to.

SPECIAL SELF-REFERENTIAL BONUS ROUND
Give yourself bonus points if:
You thought this test was too easy.
You are now seriously considering doing something for the sole purpose of raising your Movie Geek Score.

85% - 99%: If you scored in this range, your first reaction to the line above was , "For heaven's sake, Martin Scorsese wouldn't belong to HFPA or ACE, making his maximum well below 100%. What kind of a moron do you think I am?" You are the ultimate film geek, driven by your obsession well past the point of madness, like John Wayne in "Red River" or Humphrey Bogart in "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" or Charles Laughton in "Mutiny on the Bounty." (If you did not get any of those references, please subtract 10 percentage points from your score.)

70% - 84%: You are the penultimate film geek, driven by your obsession almost to the point of madness but not quite, much like Montgomery Clift in "Red River," Tim Holt in "Treasure of the Sierra Madre," or Clark Gable in "Mutiny on the Bounty."

55% - 69 %: You are the antipenultimate film geek, knowledgeable and passionate, but with your feet firmly grounded in practicalities, like Walter Brennan in "Red River," Walter Huston in "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," or that guy in "Mutiny On The Bounty" who wasn't Clark Gable or Charles Laughton.

40% - 54%: You are knowledgeable about film, but not particularly obsessed. You really liked "Mutiny on the Bounty," unless, wait, maybe you're thinking of "The Caine Mutiny." Which one had Humphrey Bogart in it?

25% - 39%: You like movies, but you aren't especially knowledgable about them. You are much like that guy in that movie who did that thing--you know, the one who looked really familiar.

24% or below: You know how sometimes you go in a room and it's dark, and then moving images appear on this big screen in front of you? No? OK, never mind.

CREDITS
Text compiled by (and copyright by ) Jacob Sager Weinstein
EMAIL: moviegeek at yankeefog.com
Based on code written by Denys the Purple Wyrm (original code copyright 2000, used by permission)