Tuesday, January 20, 2009

President and Mrs Obama usher in new era for Nora's pants

Well, didn't I just spend the morning indulging wasteful pie-in-sky fantasies of hope and change (not to mention my patriotic streak). Mmmmm, yum. Yes, the inauguration was lurvely. We spent the morning watching the festivities on Pacific time. We were all, look, Hugo, that is our guy! And he was all, this guy! Red tie! And though his language is not quite there, I'm pretty sure he was all, get over it mom. White presidents are so turn of the century. It's no big deal, okay? Now about this green play dough.

You can read about it all over the WORLD. How AMAZING it is, how amazing WE are, that we have elected this person to serve at this moment in history. We get an A+ for all that, and the world seems to know it. Blah blah.

But here is the only place you can read about another milestone that happened today. And that is that I figured out how to wear a *!& belt.

I rarely feel called to blog about my body, because embarrassing! boring! But in my real life, my BRICK AND MORTAR life, I have been having a little issue with my pants lately. Something about post-childbirth changes or The Way They Make Jeans Now or something. I try not to look too closely. It's just all very odd, but I can't seem to get my jeans to stay on. The two-belt-loop hitch-up has become such a part of my life that I had gotten kind of used to it. But it really has been a little stupid lately. Sledding and cold air and snow getting where it shouldn't and such--a cue to action.

So there's me getting all Jeff I have to DO something, my pants won't stay on. And he's all, why don't you get a belt? And I'm all, what? And he's all, a belt. And so yesterday, while honoring Dr King through a day of service IN MY HEAD I actually took Hugo to the MALL (why I put myself through these trips to the mall I will never know) and of course it took me like four laps around the department store to find the belts because what is a belt anyway? And I finally picked one out, sure that this was NO WAY the answer to my problems. The answer was surely more COMPLICATED and likely involved me having to quit my job (yay!) and become a jeans designer.

But guess what? I wore it today for the first time, and it worked. My pants, they stay on. I'm brilliant. So I figure it is all related to the new era of responsibility and our First Lady who is taking the fashion world by storm. And how was I going to get busy with my part of remaking America if I couldn't keep my pants on? I ask you? Not very well, that's the answer. So now I'm ready.

It took me a long time to figure it out about the belt thing too. I thought I was being so cool and young and hip wearing lower-rise pants. But then I looked ridiculous showing my "coin slot." Having to pull up my pants every time I got up was not fun. And this is pre-having kids body - I think it's fairly common. (Go to hulu and find Lindsey Lohan guest starring in this little SNL commercial re: coin slots)

It just dawned on me this morning, that when I go to Ireland in April (YAY! International travel!) I will actually be PROUD to say I'm American. (But not in a flag-belt-buckle, country music, acid-wash jeans way - don't worry.) But I was just overwhelmed with this feeling that people will ask us about Obama. It's this new responsibility we have to REPRESENT and not cower in shame while traveling abroad.

I've been holding on the belief that if they ever start making pants again that are supposed to reach anywhere near my waist that I won't have this problem anymore. (hello? why are they making clothes for the 2% of the population who want to expose themselves?)

You know, the energy on Inauguration Day was palpable. I'm so tired of the naysayers. The people who say he won't make a difference. The folks who say he isn't special. And yet? And yet? Look at our nation! Look at the rest of the world? How can SO MANY PEOPLE be wrong about one man? It's because we're not wrong. There is strength in numbers and I think we all see something in him that the detractors don't see. Can't see. I live in Texas, Nora Bee. The state which endured Bush's governership BEFORE he was President. Unfortunately, he was returned to us and he bought a house in Dallas (Thank God it's not Fort Worth). But the upside is, he's no longer leading the nation. And yes, you've created a legacy, my friend. Suspenders are so yesterday.

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