The Morning After Lost:

Each year, it blows my mind that the entertainment industry puts so much stock in a silly awards show. Sure, there are talented actors, writers, and directors out there who deserve a pat on the back. But there are also talented teachers, nurses, doctors in third world countries, and volunteers who get no pat on the back. I love watching movies, but do we really need to see the people who worked on them wear $5,000 dresses and thank their agents? I want to see those people play make believe in movies. That’s why I like them…because their job is to entertain us.

And these silly awards always come in the middle of pilot season, a three month period in which I’m lucky enough to read most of the pilot scripts that networks are pouring millions of dollars into. And I don’t know what bothers me more: the fact that many of these scripts have been put through so many filters that they are terrible – or the fact that the good ones never get picked up, or –worse – are poorly cast.

It’s enough to make someone like me lose all faith in this industry. What’s the point of it all?

And then, on Tuesday night, I turn on my TV and the one good drama left in this wretched world comforts me yet again. And I remember what entertainment really is. That’s right: it’s time for LOST, motherf*ckers!

Here’s what went down this week, in a freshly dug grave:

In plane dimension, Ben finally gets a chance to “save” Alex. When he obtains information that would allow him to blackmail the principal for his position, Ben decides instead to give up that opportunity in order to help his favorite student, Alex, find a bright future. In island dimension, Jack and Hurley run into Albert, who has lost all faith in Jacob and asks them to kill him. Jack takes a crazy chance (in a great scene) by letting the fuse run out on a stick of dynamite to show Richard that he (Jack) is a candidate too. Ben is running from the shitshow at the temple when he comes upon Ilana, Miles, Sun and Frank in the jungle. They decide to go to the beach, where Ilana makes Ben dig his own grave, until Locke/Smoke Monster frees him. Ilana chases him, and when Ben admits that he’s alone and sorry that he killed Jacob (another great scene), Ilana reluctantly invites him to join them. When Jack, Hurley and Albert arrive at the beach, there’s a happy reunion, and then we see Widmore(!) approaching the island in a submarine.

Here’s what we learn:

1. We learned a lot about Alpert. He arrived on the Black Rock (we had assumed this already), and he can’t kill himself. This is huge, because now we wonder if our candidates that Jacob touched will also not age. But, let’s clear up some confusion here – is it that they can’t die? Or that they just can’t take their own lives? Because Locke, for example, died.

2. This //lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Jacob's_candidates is an interesting page. It lists all of Jacob’s candidates. Or at least, those who the MIB listed as Jacob’s possible candidates. There are some interesting ones on there, such as Karl, Miles, Rousseau, and Shannon. (Shannon? Really?) I’m led to believe that the MIB may have been wrong about some of these. Especially because Ilana said there are only 6 left (presumably Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sawyer, Jin, and Sun).

3. Nice show open…in the middle of some action! We were getting used to those cute, slow openings in suburbia.

4. In plane dimension, Alex Rousseau is a hard working student of Ben’s. And yes, she’s still hot. Her mom (Rousseau!) works two jobs to support them.

5. Ilana tells Sun why she’s there – to protect the candidates.

6. Jacob was the “closest thing that Ilana had to a father.” Really? The closet thing you have to a father is a weird dude who lives in a disappearing cabin and speaks in riddles? Man, what was your REAL dad like?

7. Miles uses his power to rat on Ben for killing Jacob. He also uses it to get the diamonds that were buried with Nikki and Paulo.

8. Artz teaches science at Ben’s school. ARTZ!

9. Funding may be cut, but that’s a pretty nice public school for California. That shit can’t be in LA, unless there are some metal detectors.

10. In Plane Dimension, Ben’s dad is a sweet, ailing old man who only wants the best for his son. Also, in this dimension, they did live on the island with the Dharma Initiative for some time, but then they left.

11. Ben thought that Jacob didn’t care about dying. Now, he knows that he did care. He feels great remorse for killing Jacob and for letting his daughter die.

12. Alpert won’t tell you anything. Unless you wear him down with a few lame movie references. Then, he’s an open book.

13. Couldn’t Ben have waited until Alex got into Yale and THEN blackmailed the principal? And couldn’t the principal just pull a David Letterman and come clean before the blackmail started? Then he’d be all good, right? O, wait, Letterman’s still a sleazy douche who cheated on his wife and tried to make himself the victim. Nevermind.

14. L/SM wants Ben to be in charge of the island after they leave.

15. Kids, don’t stand that close to a microwave. That shit will fry your brain and make you murder people.