Things I Learned From Writing a Book

Now that my book is in production, I’ve had a bit of time to think back about the writing process. Over the past year, I’ve thrown up more than a few cracks on Twitter about things I learned from writing a book (tagged, of course, as #thingsIlearnedfromwritingabook). Now that I’ve had time to process, these are the ones that have definitely stuck with me:

The size of your derriere is directly proportional to your word count.

Other authors have scary delivery stories that rival those told by the Moms of young children. They will make you clench your core muscles the same way when you hear them.

Nature abhors a vacuum. But not as much as a clean desk and the entire floor around it.

No matter how talented you may be, people will still like Nicholas Sparks’ books better.

With practice, you can eat soup and hover over a keyboard at the same time.

In fact, you can balance just about anything over a keyboard. Except a social life.

You start to argue with your word processor’s spell check program as if it cares. and you do so, loudly and emphatically.

Procrastination really is an art form that requires everyday dedication and practice.

You notice immediately when you run out of ink or printer paper. Not so much when you run out of deodorant.

The shopping list becomes very easy. Only alcoholic, chocoholic and microwaveable will do.

You find a new appreciation for the worst books and movies ever made. Because you now understand the work that went into them.

You think all the fun stuff you learned in your research is good conversation fodder. You soon learn it’s what makes others avoid you.