Hey Erik,
I remember seeing this at the Panel Screening and thinking it was a good start! It's a little short, so we didn't really get a sense of the characters or plot direction. You get up to 5min, so have fun with developing longer stories with developments audiences can invest in. My other note would be the formatting. Since these are shown in a movie theater on a large screen, the general format is 16:9. This looks like it would play very well for mobile devices, but cinematic viewers like the larger format to feel more immersed in the story.