Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

SEXUALLY ACTIVE TEENS

a friend of mine is freaking out because she found empty condom wrappers in her son's car. he is almost 17. while i completely understand the panic, she has grounded him and taken his car. i think this is a bit much. while i wouldn't be thrilled to find condom wrappers in my son's car, i would be relieved to know that he is practicing safe sex. from a realist standpoint, most of us lost our virginity in our teens. sex itself is not a crime. unprotected sex is dangerous and carries many consequences. my kids are a bit younger, but we have already had many sex conversations. it is an open subject in my home. i want my kids to understand that sex is a big deal with many consequences. this is one of those touchy subjects with many answers. i am wandering how you all feel about the subject and how you handle it or plan to handle it.

As for the fact he is having safe sex, yes I would be happy but I would also make sure he understood that some STD's can't be stopped with a condom and that it's not 100% safe period. As for grounding him and taking the car, I would too. I can't say it is the correct choice but no doubt like your friend I would freak at the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and has decided he is now a man,.

First, I will have a temper tantrum then freak out because I am getting old. Then I will pull my head out, let my teen know I'm glad she is using protection, remind her that she should be doing it with someone she cares about, and let her know I am there if she needs me.

I would confront him, because I think having sex is serious and he needs to know that although I'm glad he is using condoms, they aren't 100%. I wouldn't ground him, but I would know where he was going, what he was going to do while he was there, and when he would be home. I wouldn't let him go somewhere where he was just going to be "hanging out". Yes, some kids are going to find ways to have sex, but I can make it as hard as possible to limit the alone time he has with his girlfriend.

My 12 yr old son is already interested in sex. He loves looking at pretty women and pictures of women. I have stressed to him that he needs to wait. My 16-year old daughter still appears to be a virgin, She says she is, but she has a 15-yr old former friend that is pregnant by my daughter's ex-boyfriend. I was actually happy when that happened. That could have been my daughter. They apparently broke up because he wanted to have sex and she did not. I am only 37 far too young to be anyone's grandma. But I don't believe she is active, but I am concerned as she gets older. I would want her to be safe for sure so I don't know that I would take her car (luckily she does not have one). On the other hand that could be one place that he has sex. It's a tough situation so I can't say that I blame your friend for her reaction.

I don't expect my children not to have sex. I did, their dad did... I'm sure they will. I think education is the key here. First, teach your children the risks. Second teach your children how to keep themselves safe. and Third be open enough with your children that they can come to you with questions or concerns. Also, I will impress on my kids the importance of only having sex when THEY want to and when THEY are ready. I think the biggest issue with teens having sex is that they feel pressured in to it and they do it for the wrong reasons.

At least the kid is using condoms. My kids are adults now and the incidence of sex in teen years was less often but I can say I would not be that "hysterical" as that Mom was....I would tell my son I was relieved that he was using protection and hoped that he would not devote too much time to sex and spend more time to preparing for his future ( studying , getting good grades and applying to colleges)My kids played on school sports teams, all had part time jobs and dated as freinds, not sex partners,thank goodness. My son had a steady girl in hs senior year and got involved at the end of the year after Prom,but then he went off to college and eventually they drifted apart.
Teen years are better spent looking ahead to the future instead of "living for today" and shacking up.If a kid has to have sex and is not interested in anything else, he has a big problem.

heck my DAD found my purse full of birth control stuff when I was that age (he thought it was my mom's purse) and he didn't really freak out! mostly he just started to laugh because he was wondering why my uterus free mother had a purse full of birth control!

Should have seen how we'd both chuckle under our breath when my mom would make comments referring to the idea that I was such a innocent!

I think that u have to be at least 18 to buy condoms,so my question is,Who is getting them for your son? I don't think very much of the girl or girls he is doing that with. I don't get how some kids can give it up so easily. The girls parents must be so proud! ( sarcasm) U think your friend went overboard.,I think she did the right thing! What would u do if it was one of your kids? Slap him/her on the hand and say no,no! Get real! He needs to focus more on school and less time trying to get into some loose girls pants!!!