HSDT 014: 3 Reasons Why We’re Stuck With Tiffany Parson

Tweetables:

One thing that keeps us stuck is expecting too much of ourselves. @tiffanydparson #VATip – click to tweet!

We hesitate to take action on things that don’t have a guarantee. @tiffanydparson – click to tweet!

The movement of taking action will often create the energy needed to continue on to the next thing. @tiffanydparson – click to tweet!

In Words:

Hello and welcome to today’s show. I am your host, Tiffany Parson. I want to talk to you about three reasons why we’re stuck and ways to help you get unstuck.

I’m saying “we” including me because this is something that we all encounter just, you know, being at the fork in the road and not knowing whether to go left, right, or straight.

The first thing is we know too much, the second is we expect too much, and the third is we hesitate to take action.

So let’s just break this down.

Number one is we know too much. Depending on where you are in life, you’ve experienced a lot of things when it comes to your work life, professional life, and spiritual life. You’ve experienced a lot of things in your life and sometimes knowing too much keeps us from moving forward because we think about “what ifs” based on past experiences, not realizing that the new experience is new. It’s new for us, and so just because something happened the last time, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen this time.

A great example is if you’ve been in a job that you don’t like and you’re looking for a new job. It’s important to, in the quest of searching for a new job, that you not bring attitudes and feelings about the past job in your interview, cover letter, phone call, whatever it is you need to do in order to apply, be interviewed, and accept this new job.

It’s a new experience and should be treated that way. Just like a relationship, when you’re in a new relationship, not thinking about what happened the last time. When you were in a bad relationship and putting that on the new relationship is just not fair.

The times when I’ve spoken with new virtual assistants or people who are interested in doing some type of business or work online, there’s always the question about having a guarantee or lots of “what ifs.” What if you don’t have any clients? What if you don’t get paid? What if you don’t have anything to offer? What if, what if, what if, and that’s a part of just knowing too much, you know?

Think about when you were in your early 20s, let’s say 21. 21 is a good age because it’s like that’s when you feel like you’re transitioning and really turning on adult street, even though once you turn 30 you realize that’s not the case, but at 21 you feel like that. It’s like, the world is my oyster; I can do anything.

Right? Because you don’t know what you don’t know at that age, and so wherever you are right now, get to that point where you feel like, I can do anything. I want to try it, see what happens. And I’m using the word “try” but I really mean “do” and see what happens.

Do it! See what happens. You have nothing to lose.

I started out doing projects online on Elance, and when I started I had no expectation of starting a business. It was something fun that I could do. It was exciting to know that this was something that I could do at home. The person on the other end didn’t care where I was or where I lived. What they cared about was that their project was done on time, professionally and correctly. Right? And so that intrigued me.

That’s the approach that you should take when it’s time for something new. When you want to start a new business, when you want to start writing, you know, whatever it is, whatever your new thing is, to approach it for what it is—a new opportunity, a new experience, and not be so caught up in the negative “what ifs”.

You’ll even hear the flip side of the negative “what ifs.” What if it works? What if this happens? For some people, the positive “what ifs” could somehow turn into a negative, so don’t even think about the “what ifs,” but just bring what you have to offer to the table and do well at it. Do your best. Whatever your best is, do that.

Just forget about what you know, utilize the skill set, and when I say forget about what you know, I mean in regards to what could happen. Right? Approach it that way. You have nothing to lose.

That’s why I think it’s really good if you’ve got a full-time job and you start taking on projects on the side. No label, no expectation, just doing it to see what the possibilities are. You know, you’ve got your full-time job, that’s your income, bread and butter, what have you, and if your desire is to be at home for whatever your reason is, start doing it now while you’ve got a full-time job.

Take on a project here, a project there. You have to, of course, bid continuously to get the project here and there. You can’t pop in and out of it. It is something you have to be consistent with. But it’s an attitude difference, you know? You’re not coming in expecting it. There’s not a need because you’ve got your full-time job.

The second reason that keeps us stuck is expecting too much. In this case, it’s expecting too much of ourselves, because when we’re learning something new, we want to do well. We want to be the best at it, but starting out the gate, you won’t be. Why? Because it’s new, you’re trying it for the first time; you’re stepping into it, you know, brand new.

When you first started to drive, you didn’t know how to drive. Can you remember, you know, if you took a driving lesson or drove in the car for the first time, what it felt like? Can you remember that and all the things that you were watchful of and careful of, and now you don’t even think about it? You just get to where you’re going and you’re there. It’s a no-brainer.

So number two is expecting too much of ourselves. You know what you know right then, and that’s why I say stick with what you know and do that.

There’s time to grow on it, but a lot of times we don’t give ourselves that time because we’re in our head thinking about, oh, you know, it’s going to be too much, because we’re processing it all in our head. Stop expecting too much of yourself in regards to your ability, know what your ability is right in that area, and work off of that.

We hesitate to take action on things that don’t have a guarantee. When’s the last time you bought something that didn’t have a guarantee or warranty or something like that? It’s everywhere; guarantees and warranties are everywhere. If something breaks, it’s a warranty.

I was looking into the Nutri Ninja Pro, yesterday as a matter of fact, and I noticed that there’s a one-year warranty on it. It’s like, okay, great. We always want a guarantee with something.

But this could be an area that’s got us stuck, stuck in getting started with our virtual assistant business because there is no guarantee. There’s no guarantee it’s going to work. There’s no guarantee you’re going to like it. There’s no guarantee you’ll find clients. There’s no guarantee. You know why? It depends on what you do, your action.

I was just talking about the advantage of, you know, if you’re working full-time and you want to start taking on projects online, and how you have to be consistent. It points back to that same thing that you have to consistently take action to get the results that you want.

If you drop out, your action just stops, then your results go down. So there are no guarantees behind the scenes. It all depends on what you do, and if you’re in your head expecting too much of yourself because you know too much based on experience and all that stuff, then you start overthinking it because there aren’t any guarantees.

None of us like to fail. We don’t want to be criticized. We don’t want to risk time, money, or energy. But what does it really take to get what you want out of life? You have to risk it. You have to take some time. You have to be not so much into your thoughts that you let that stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do.

I’m afraid a lot of times, but I know I’ve got to push the button anyway and get to where I want to be, accomplish the goals that I have for myself and for my family, and the only way to do that is just go.

You have to take action on it. Just go. You have to go for it.

Tap into your 21-year-old self and remember when your whole life was ahead of you, and know that you’ve got that now. You may be thinking, well, I’ve got bills now, Tiffany, let’s be realistic. I have a family now, let’s be realistic. All of that is true, but either way, whether you dwell on that stuff or decide that you still have a full life, the end result is going to be the same.

I don’t mean to put a damper on things, but everybody’s end is the same. Right? All of our end will be the same. Not to put a damper on this episode, but I’m going to tell you my dad passed away in 2010 and it put a different light on everything. Everything! I don’t want to leave this earth with questions about what could have been because I didn’t do something.

Sometimes we have to get in that place and go to an extreme in order to go for it and not care about failing, or being afraid, or having to start over, or retweak, or any of that stuff.

Do whatever you need to do to jump over whatever it is that’s stopping you.

There’s something you know, something that came to your mind as I was speaking today, that you’re thinking, you know what, I need to go ahead and do that thing. I need to just do it, check it off the list, and be done.

And there may be a task that if you do this thing, it will release the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing. You know what it is. You do, you know what it is.

My challenge for you is to take the first step.

Don’t expect too much of yourself. If it’s a new thing, don’t bring past experiences to the situation. If it’s a new thing, it’s a new thing. What you do bring is your skills, what you offer, and the things that you know, but not, you know, the judgments that come that cause us not to move forward.

Don’t worry about, will they like it, is it going to be okay? It’s okay now. It will be okay, you know why? Because nothing is permanent, it doesn’t have to be perfect, and I’m saying nothing is perfect in the sense that it can be changed. It can be fixed; it can be tweaked; it can be modified.

People write Kindle books, put it out there. Do you know you can update a Kindle book? When you’ve written your book and you’ve put it to Amazon, it can be updated and the PDF file or whatever file it is, can be re-uploaded to Amazon.

A job post—you respond, you send your proposal. They let you review before you submit your proposal so you have a chance to modify it. Right? It’s not the end. You take on a project and you hate it. Guess what? You don’t have to take on another one that like.

You can check it off, okay, I experienced that and I know that it’s not for me. And guess what? It’s okay. It’s okay. I do these podcasts and record them, and it takes me a while to figure out what to talk about, and it’s okay.

The biggest thing is stepping forward, not being stuck.

If you’re at that fork—you could go left, you could go right, or you could go straight. Either way, guess what? It requires a step. Step to the left, step forward, step to the right, but you’re not going to step back. You’re stepping forward.

I hope I wasn’t just totally rambling today. But I don’t know, I just feel strongly about this whole fork in the road and moving forward, and I know I’m not the only one. I know I’m not.

Tell me about it, you know, what’s your area? Let me know after you’ve taken the action. A lot of times, you know, you’ll take an action on something and just that movement creates energy and you end up going to the next thing and next thing without even realizing it.

I’d love to hear from you, what’s going on, what’s happening, what you’re doing to get unstuck. Tell me what it is that’s got you stuck. My guess is you’re probably not the first person that’s been stuck in that area. Someone else has, someone else moved forward.

I just wish you all the best in this because it’s going to be awesome after you take that first step. Thanks so much for listening, and have a fabulous day.

Tweetables:

One thing that keeps us stuck is expecting too much of ourselves. @tiffanydparson #VATip – click to tweet!

We hesitate to take action on things that don’t have a guarantee. @tiffanydparson – click to tweet!

The movement of taking action will often create the energy needed to continue on to the next thing. @tiffanydparson – click to tweet!

Hi I’m Tiffany Parson!

I am a coach to those interested in providing services to clients from the comforts of home. As the CEO and Founder of Virtual Hired Hand. I am a Technical Implementation Strategist serving clients since 2008. I show business owners how to utilize a WordPress, Social Media, Webinars, Teleseminars and Podcasts to get their message online.

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Mission:

Connecting women with their dreams of owning location independent businesses for themselves as virtual service providers.

Hi I’m Tiffany Parson!

And I want to see your dreams come true. Whether you're looking to be a virtual assistant business owner, freelancer, or work from home part-time, I'd love to help you get moving. My specialty is connecting you with the you God created you to be. Everything we reach for leads us to the next thing. What are you reaching for?