When I was eighteen years old I suddenly realised I was gaining weights and really fast too, things didn't really add up the way my body was changing so I seeked the doctor who said I was in the early stages of pregnancy - for me at this particular time it's not what I wanted to hear and I was proper adamant from that moment on I did not want to bring a. Hold in to this world at such a young age.?

It it all happened so fast, my first scan day came around and I took one of my friends as support. As I lay on the table the nurses seemed concerned and soon I was moved in to a more advanced room with way more technology and scanned again only for them to drop the baby bombshell that actually it wasn't early stages I was 18 weeks. Again I knew what I wanted to do and as I am from Scotland (they only do abortions up to 9 weeks) I was referred to an English private hospital and would have to go under general anesthetise for a surgical operation

for me the worst part of the whole ordeal was telling my parents as we are such a close family and each time I told my story I watched their hearts break for them and for me. As much as they understood and I had their full support I will never ever forget the looks on their faces, the worry, shock and panic.?

On on my travel to London where my abortion would take place I went with a friend who again was very supportive and I will always be grateful she was there to hold my hand - day one and j saw a nurse for some blood and urine tests, I then saw a councillor who just wanted to make sure for myself I was making the right decision and then it was time to go to theatre for operation 1/2. In this one they placed 'rods' into my cervix to open it and I jested the baby's heart with a drug that would make he/she pass away. It sounds brutal when I type this and realised what I did but I k ew at that time in my life I was making the best decision for me and for my future. I was a selfish, self obsessed eighteen year old girl who wasent in a stable ratio ship with the baby's father at the time - he was however again very supportive and tried numerous times to talk me out of it which to this day I am so glad I never as I'd be single parented whilst he lived the high life at the other side of the world - any ways?

that night I returned to my hotel room - bloody awful hotel at that - it was the most uncomfortable night of. Y life,mowing what I had done and it still being inside me,next morning at 6am I was taken to a hospital ward and made to wait in a room of four other girls - one by one we watched each other leave to do same thing - nobody spoke a word as we didn't really need too.?

Finally it was my turn and that was that. I don't remember any of this so to me it never feels like it actually happened - I woke up in a recovery area thn got taken for a rest and to eat something (at this point was starving as i hasn't eaten for?24 hours) after that I had another meeting with the nurse and the councillor once I was feeling better and had got myself all sorted.?

For or anybody at all going through the same thing as me do not be frightened and scared by these protesters or by pushy people, pushy nurses and doctors, absolutely anybody as this is your body and your decision at he end of the day - I may have been selfish but I would not be the girl I am today in perusing my dreams - at 24 now, ?a family will happen for me one day when I am ready for that to happen and I can't wait for that it's exciting. I hope you all hold your heads high and the future is bright. I even went on to share my stories to abortion clinics, news papers and other females in supporting their decisions and helping as many girls as I could with my story and advice.?