I’ve been given a gift. Finding the most awesome television shows, ever.

Some people read fortunes, see the dead, or communicate with the other side. Other people provide stock options, develop retirement plans, or figure out super fancy shit with money. Some people learn. Some people teach. Some people have degrees. And some people just flip burgers or mop floors.

I am not any of those people.

I’m just a television junkie. Committed to all things TV since 1974.

And I am here to give you the inside info.

I’ll let you know when something is worthy of binge-watching. And I’ll give you the reasons why.

I’ll let you know when something is NOT worthy of binge-watching. And I’ll give you those reasons why.

Why?

Because I’m nice like that.

On the other hand?

I am NOT going to research facts, or spend hours perusing IMBD, or spend one second looking up Rotten Tomato or other notable Critic Scores. I am NOT going to read reviews before, during, or after – watching any show, on any venue, ever.

Hope y’all enjoy my recommendations, as much as I enjoy watching these shows.

* PS: Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome, usually on my Facebook account. Except for anything SyFy and/or History. NO. Because, BORING. Denied.
FYI: I favor crime/suspense/murder/mystery – on any & all venues. And then I will lean on: Comedy, HGTV, IDTV, BRAVOTV, or even Reality TV, when desperate.

Hit the deck and find a big piece of tin to hide under, because the SportsDome’s buzzing your house with the biggest Super Bowl analysis anywhere. Alex Reiser and Mark Shepard are dropping a full payload of Agent Sports all over your village and watching it burn to Super Bowl Sports-Cinders. Tune in to Onion SportsDome TONIGHT 1030/930c on Comedy Central.

Tonight’s stories include:

– Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger just one win shy of becoming a good person.
– The NFL puts the big game on hold to give Doritos more time to finish their Super Bowl commercial.
– And in non-Super Bowl action, an epic performance out of Todd Minnick in the National Crystal Meth Hallucination League.

All of that plus more Super Bowl analysis than you can fit in a lunch pail. The Dome’s your home for the big game, don’t go anywhere else.

“SportsDome” is the signature show of the Onion Sports Network, which has grown from a humble UHF channel purchased as a tax dodge and a way to profit from The Onion’s vast footage library of women’s beach volleyball, into the undisputed global sports leader it is today. “SportsDome” is now the number one destination for fans seeking game reports, insight from former players and theme music heavy on bell tones and bendy guitar riffs. With its total access to the inside of sports and pulse-pounding coverage, it has become impossible to be a sports fan without being a fan of the “Dome.”

* Father Of Three Wins Event On National Bodysurfing Tour / The most talented middle-aged fathers and uncles in the country were in the pond riding waves on the National Bodysurfing Tour. CLICK HERE

* Corey Lawrence of Ojai, California is furiously masturbating his way into the record books, needing just 12 more masturbation sessions to eclipse the single-day record. 13-Year Old Nearing Record For Most Masturbations In A Single Day. CLICK HERE

Daniel Tosh is back as the arbiter of all things Web on a new night and time with an all-new wardrobe choice for the new season. He’ll even reveal a brand new set, but, rest assured, even though it’s new, it’ll still be just as cheap as the old one. The third season of “Tosh.0 ” premieres tonight night at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT, immediately followed by the series premiere of “Onion SportsDome” at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT.

The third season of “Tosh.0” includes a wealth of infamous internet sensations, disgusting viral videos, injurious idiots and promises to have the most weirdos plucked from the internet in “Tosh.0” history. In addition, the world will finally get the answer to the question every “Tosh.0” fan has been dying to know since Tosh’s phenomenal season two came to a close…what will he be wearing this season? Having retired cardigans, casual jackets and deep V’s, what will the sexy host don next?

Tosh will continue to give subjects of notorious viral videos (i.e. American Idol Girls and Stuck in an Elevator a second chance to redeem themselves from the embarrassment with which they’ve become synonymous with their very own “Web Redemption” highlighted by numerous journeys back from infamy.

Watch the preview below: Tosh and Antoine Dodson make it safe to unhide yo kids and yo wife.

* Comedy Central has a new, one-hour stand-up special, “Denis Leary and Friends Present Douchebags and Donuts,” which debuts Sunday January 16th, followed by the DVD release on Tuesday, January 18th*

Denis Leary lays it all out on the line in his latest one-hour stand-up special titled “Denis Leary and Friends Present Douchebags and Donuts.” This World Premiere, an original one-hour stand-up special, debuts on Sunday, January 16 at 10:00 p.m. Denis Leary, the notorious Emmy™-nominated star of “Rescue Me” and NY Times best-selling author, returns to his stand-up roots with this provocative one-hour special taped live at NYC’s Town Hall. Not since “No Cure for Cancer” has Leary unleashed his trademark foul-mouthed rants quite like this. Along with COMEDY CENTRAL rising star and roaster Whitney Cummings and his “Rescue Me” costarsLenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara, Leary dispenses a blistering one-two punch to douchebags everywhere and delivers the comedy event of the new year.

Sports are finally about to get the attention they deserve, courtesy of The Onion. America’s most trusted news source is teaming up with COMEDY CENTRAL to bring viewers the most intense televised sports news program in recorded human history. “Onion SportsDome,” a 30-minute rundown of the finest in sports news, analysis, scores, highlights, rumor-mongering and petty personal attacks, premieres Tuesday, January 11 at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT on COMEDY CENTRAL, following the third season premiere of “Tosh.0.”

The show is co-anchored by Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser. Reiser earned a seat at the “SportsDome” desk in 1995 after working his way up from the mailroom, showing the persistence needed to repeatedly knock on the office door of the VP of OSN programming and shout highlights from the night before at the top of his lungs. Mark Shepard has been with “SportsDome” since 2005, when he parlayed the suicide of a World Backgammon Championships commentator into his first on-air appearance, impressing producers enough to install him behind the storied “SportsDome” anchor desk.

Shepard and Reiser are joined by the venerable “Dome” crew, including Senior sports insider Reggie Greengrass, who needs nine Blackberries to hold the phone numbers of all the athletes he knows; update anchor Melissa Wells, who holds more journalism degrees than the rest of her colleagues put together; “Wish Zone” host Jay Woodworth, who makes terminally-ill children’s dreams come true as long as they are sports-related; analyst Doc Webb, who holds the SportsDome record for the number of athletes he’s referred to as “overpaid garbage;” and investigative reporter Marc Howell, who, mines sports’ most tragic elements for awards and ratings gold.

NEW YORK, December 8, 2010 — Daniel Tosh is back as the arbiter of all things Web on a new night and time with an all-new wardrobe choice for the new season. He’ll even reveal a brand new set, but, rest assured, even though it’s new, it’ll still be just as cheap as the old one. Be sure to tune in for the third season of “Tosh.0 ” premieres on Tuesday, January 11 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT, immediately followed by the series premiere of “Onion SportsDome” at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT.

The third season of “Tosh.0” includes a wealth of infamous internet sensations, disgusting viral videos, injurious idiots and promises to have the most weirdos plucked from the internet in “Tosh.0” history. In addition, the world will finally get the answer to the question every “Tosh.0” fan has been dying to know since Tosh’s phenomenal season two came to a close…what will he be wearing this season? Having retired cardigans, casual jackets and deep V’s, what will the sexy host don next?

Lewis Black uses his natural talent for hiding subtle comedy inside explosive outbursts to full effect in this new one-hour stand-up event. Compelled by his passions and discontentedness with the absurdities of the world, he erupts in hand-shaking, body-trembling motion spewing of diatribe-laced dialectic comedy.

Below is an ‘Exclusive’ Lewis Black clip from his “Stark Raving Black” DVD. Shot at the historic Fillmore Theatre in Detroit, “Stark Raving Black” features Lewis serving up his biting social and political commentary on current events, guiding his audience through a catalogue of the woes of the world such as the absurdities of aging (60 is NOT the new 40!) to the pitfalls of becoming a “mainstream” comedian to the insanity of Washington and Wall Street.

It’s happened to everyone: you move to a new city and you need a place to live so you find a roommate on Craigslist, and then you’re living with a zombie. Business as usual, right? In COMEDY CENTRAL’S all-new animated series “Ugly Americans,” a social worker in the Department of Integration helps all newcomers – human or not – adjust to life in the Big Apple. Prepare to meet some of the ugliest Americans ever.

“Ugly Americans” a new animated comedy series, premieres on Comedy Central March 17 at 10:30 p.m. right after a new episode of “South Park.”