Researchers studying people in their sixties have found that those who said they were in a mentoring type of relationship were 29 percent more likely to see meaning in their lives. (Van Handel Eagles 1999)

Watching cat and puppy videos online gets a lot of flack. But animals do make us happier. And people with a pet they love are 22% more satisfied with their lives.

Interaction with animals supplies us with both immediate joy and long-term positive feelings, and contributes strongly to our happiness. Those with a loved pet are 22 percent more likely to feel satisfied with their lives. (Barofsky and Rowan 1998)

No, I’m not going to say anything about unicorns or rainbows. But hugs? Oh, science gives those a big thumbs up.

Optimistic people, who credit themselves when things go well and view bad times as temporary, live longer than pessimists. According to a study conducted over a thirty-year span, pessimistic people are 19 percent less likely to reach a normal life expectancy. (Mayo Clinic 2002c)

We all want others to support us. And people are more likely to be optimistic about your success when you’re optimistic about it, too.

People were five times more likely to be optimistic about another person’s goals if they thought the person was optimistic himself or herself. Less significant factors included the person’s personal experiences and the overall likelihood of the outcome. (Werneck De Almeida 1999)

Researchers gave participants a skill test and exposed them to a loud, distracting sound. Those who were told the sound would go away if they succeeded on the test showed significantly fewer ill effects of the stressful situation than those who were told the sound would continue regardless of what they did. Researchers concluded that a sense of control calmed the first group, even though neither group really had any control over the process. (Pennsylvania State University 2002b)

And if you want to be grittier and achieve your goals, do whatever gives you that feeling of control.

Research comparing students of similar ability found that the feature that distinguishes those who maintain a strong work ethic in their studies from those who give up is a sense of control. Those who expressed a sense of control received significantly higher grades than those who do not. (Mendoza 1999)

I know what some of you are thinking: Sounds nice, but how the heck do I make sure I feel in control?

Answer: Don’t let your worries stay vague and scary. Get specific with your plans on how to handle things.

4) Communicate

In studies of marriages of various lengths, couples with a high degree of intimacy between the spouses— that is, couples who shared their innermost thoughts— were 62 percent more likely to describe their marriage as happy. (Pallen 2001)

Now sometimes communicating means fighting. But, ironically, a lot of that negative communication actually comes from not communicating enough.

Research on marriages with high levels of conflict finds that more than half of the couples in these marriages have disputes involving the failure of one or both partners to conform to unspoken expectations. (Philpot 2001)

Arguments are no fun — but even that form of communication is better than none. No fighting = 35% more likely to divorce.

Asked to describe three recent disagreements with their partner, people had ten times as much to say about their feelings and the tone of the disagreement as they did about the topic of the disagreement. Twenty-five percent of people forgot the topic of a disagreement but could describe their feelings in the situation. (Ludwig 2000)

It’s okay to disagree. But don’t make that special someone feel awful.

(To learn the 4 most common relationship problems — and how to fix them, click here.)

SOCC. That’s all you need to remember. Time to round up what we learned and find out the thing you’re doing right now that is getting in the way of your life being more awesome…