10 Mom Confessions to Make You Feel Like a Superior Parent

As we all know, this job ain't an easy one, and it's reassuring to know we're not alone in having a less than easy time with it. On the days when I need to be reminded of that, I head to my Scary Mommy Confessional and instantly feel better.

Need a pick-me-up, too? Read on ...

Advertisement

1. I desperately want it to be acceptable to order wine like you order a Diet Coke. Anytime of day, at the drive thru, wherever, whenever, no judgment.

2. Whenever my younger daughter tantrums, I just want to scream, "This is why I like your sister more than you!"

3. My son has been dressing himself. We just discovered today he has been putting clean underwear on over the dirty. For DAYS.

4. On maternity leave but had to run into my office. Threw on some chap stick on my way in. When I got back to the car, I realized it was lipstick and I'd smeared it all AROUND my lips. Looked like a 2-year-old who got into mommy's makeup.

5. My kids think the Halloween skeleton in our closet is their oldest brother that I starved to death because he didn't listen.

6. I write out my to-do list every day ... Thankfully, it's on a dry erase board so I just wipe it clean before my husband comes home and sees nothing crossed off.

7. Our daughter fell asleep on the couch tonight. My husband and I ate our dinner on the floor with our fingers for fear chairs and utensil noises would wake her.

8. I'm teaching my DS2 to catch. This morning he took off his diaper, balled it up, beamed me in the back of the head with it,and excitedly yelled, "Two hands mommy!!"

9. I just opted for jail over a ticket. I knew my kids would be safe and more than ok and that the jail would only be overnight. Twenty-four hours of no drama or chores. I think I might need a vacation!