'Kubo and the Two Strings' Director to Helm Transformers Spinoff 'Bumblebee'

Kubo and the Two Strings was the latest film from Portland-based stop motion animation house LAIKA to underperform at the box office despite being the best animated film of 2016—no matter what the Academy says. Unfortunately, some parents tend to skip things like Kubo and The Boxtrolls and ParaNorman because they think they're "too dark" for kids. These people are more commonly known as morons, because they're cheating their children out of the opportunity to see quality family entertainment.

Instead, these parents flock to see bullshit like the plague of endless Transformers movies unleashed upon the public every few years. In an effort to make sure that dead beat parents no longer have to wait years between Transformers films, they're now going to start doing spin-off movies beginning with next year's Bumblebee. The only glimmer of hope I have for that particular film is that—according to Deadline—it's going to be directed by Travis Knight, the man who made Kubo and is also the President and CEO of LAIKA.

My assumption as to why he's doing this is to get all of the money, and once he has all of the money, he can go back and make fifteen LAIKA movies. My hope is that the dead beat Transformer-movie lovin' parents who will inevitably enjoy Bumblebee will want to know what other films the director has made, and hopefully that will lead them to the light. I am a frustrated idealist at heart, so I find this totally plausible. Even the pessimist in me right now finds the phrase "let's hope Bumblebee makes the world a better place" too deliciously ironic to despise. In the words of Rocky IV, "If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change."