Atheism’s Trump Card – Farts Prove there is No God

One of the main biblical arguments for the existence of God is the amazing beauty, complexity, and integration of the created, living world. As the scriptures report:

Romans 1:19-20what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse

But this "argument from design" proves nothing, according to the atheist. In fact, we see so many flaws in the design, that this argument seems riddled with just as many contraindications in nature. Chief of which is the lowly FART.

You see, for the argument from design argument to work for the atheist, all must be perfect, or the argument does not hold. Not only that, if there is anything painful, or even smelly in creation, that is evidence of imperfection. That’s right, smelly. As one confident atheist recently wrote:

…when Christians contemplate the obvious beauty, the amazing complexity, the obvious integration of the divinely designed fart are they not actually contemplating God’s handiwork? For all those people thinking about converting to Christianity, all they need to do is smell their own farts and they will smell evidence of God. Next time you are asked, "does God exist?" all you need to do is fart and explain the evidence.

Such wisdom seems to have descended from the Gods themselves – that is, if we weren’t trying to disprove their existence with such wisdom in the first place. Let us unpack the many assumptions hidden in this odoriferous pile of eloquence, and see if we can’t find out what the atheist has been feeding his mind before excreting his thoughts at us.

1. Design requires perfection

You see, if anything is less than "perfect" in our estimation, we may discard all other evidences of design, and all other amazingly improbably coincidences of nature, for to claim design, we must have perfection. However, note that we are free to use such phrases as "evolution has assembled some amazing machines" and "nature has constructed such intricate structures." These anthropomorphisms don’t mean that we BELIEVE there is intelligence at work, but just that the highly intricate and finely balanced features we see in nature are so mind-boggling to our finite minds that they appear to almost have been designed. We are merely using this as a tool to express our amazement at the beauty of nature.

But it wasn’t designed – no, that would require more than the beauty that amazes us – it would require a printed trademark, a voice from heaven, or at least, farts that don’t smell bad.

2. Anything that is painful, inefficient, or smelly is imperfect, hence, no design.

Based on our first premise the second is added. We define perfection as that which pleases us. That which displeases us must be evidence of imperfection. So, despite the fact that farts release gases formed during digestion in a harmless way from the body, this functionality’s essential character is overridden by our disgust at the smell.

By extension, the existence of excrement is also evidence that there is no design in nature, because that too smells bad. Not only that, it carries disease. I mean, that is, unless you turn it into the ground and let bacteria digest it. Then you can plant your food and the excrement makes your plants grow. OK, THAT sounds like design, but we’re really talking about the trump card against design – FARTS.

3. Examining minutiae such as smelling our own farts can lead us to meaningful decisions about God and the design of the universe.

That’s right. You see, if all is designed, then farts have something beautiful to tell us about God. And if farts can not seem amazing to you, or show you God’s grandeur in designing reality? Then the opposite must be true. If farts are really gross things, then either God is gross, or does not exist for letting such evils exist. And really, does anyone really like the smell of farts? Then we rest our case that there is no God, and no design in nature.

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EPILOGUE

I wrote this piece based on a real argument that a recent anti-design commenter made on our site. I was amazed that an intelligent person would actually use such an example and think it meaningful. Well, we all make mistakes, but this one deserved enshrinement, if for no other reason than the fact that farts are funny. AND, because now I can outline my own theology of farts, and what they tell us about God and ourselves. And THAT will not be satire. Really. Or maybe not.

19 Responses

By the way readers, farts being designed by God is Seeker’s assertion. He sees farts as evidence for God’s existence because farts follow the argument from design. Farts are “amazingly beautiful and complex” according to Seeker. Are you with me readers, has this guy lost it or what?

Cin, you constructed those conclusions by pasting together two separate comments, then trying to trap me into your simplistic straw man as if I put forth such arguments. You seem a bit deranged today. Quit while you are behind (pun greatly intended).

No Seeker, the following are both your assertions… “By the way readers, farts being designed by God is Seeker’s assertion. He sees farts as evidence for God’s existence because farts follow the argument from design. Farts are “amazingly beautiful and complex” according to Seeker. Are you with me readers, has this guy lost it or what?” I’m telling you, farts are not evidence for God’s existence. Trust me on this.

Seeker, farts are not evidence of God’s existence. The sooner you learn that the better. It’s absurd. I agree – that is the straw man argument you keep trying to force from my mouth (in fact, by quoting yourself as if you were quoting me! What obvious and outrageous lying!), but I have clearly repudiated your falsity, and outlined my position here.

"I agree – that is the straw man argument you keep trying to force from my mouth" It's your stupid argument, Seeker. You said you believe farts are designed by God, i.e. farts are divine. Don't lie about it by denying you said this. Now if farts are designed by God that means they are evidence for God. A painting [fart] was obviously painted [designed], therefore a painting [fart] is evidence of a painter [designer God]. It's absolutely absurd and the more you try to defend this the sillier you look, which is why I keep replying to you. :)

“I agree – that is the straw man argument you keep trying to force from my mouth” It’s your stupid argument, Seeker. You said you believe farts are designed by God, i.e. farts are divine. Don’t lie about it by denying you said this. Now if farts are designed by God that means they are evidence for God. A painting [fart] was obviously painted [designed], therefore a painting [fart] is evidence of a painter [designer God]. It’s absolutely absurd and the more you try to defend this the sillier you look, which is why I keep replying to you. :)

You said you believe farts are designed by God, i.e. farts are divine. Don’t lie about it by denying you said this. Now if farts are designed by God that means they are evidence for God. Well, at least now you are quoting me accurately. But your conclusion is a non-sequitur, for the reasons I stated – my statement does NOT mean what you think it means, and I do not claim that it means that. Your logic is wrong, for the last time. Really. Move on. I know I am.

Your logic is wrong, for the last time. It’s not my logic. It’s yours. It’s the argument from design. And yes, it’s a non-sequitur. A painting [fart] was obviously painted [designed], therefore a painting [fart] is evidence of a painter [designer God]. Stupid argument, isn’t readers?“Move on. I know I am.” Well, you finally wised up. Miracles do happen. It only took 70 posts for you to realize how absurd this entire conversation is.

But this “argument from design” proves nothing, according to the atheist. In fact, we see so many flaws in the design, that this argument seems riddled with just as many contraindications in nature. Chief of which is the lowly FART.

But it wasn’t designed – no, that would require more than the beauty that amazes us – it would require a printed trademark, a voice from heaven, or at least, farts that don’t smell bad. No, it would require faith that beauty implies God, that no other explanation is possible, and that our commonsense estimates of probability aren’t based on arrogant ignorance.

But it wasn’t designed – no, that would require more than the beauty that amazes us – it would require a printed trademark, a voice from heaven, or at least, farts that don’t smell bad. No, it would require faith that beauty implies God, that no other explanation is possible, and that our commonsense estimates of probability aren’t based on arrogant ignorance.

Is this how atheist pass their time? Contemplateing the non-existence of God by looking for imperfections in creation? Oh My Gosh! Time-out for a moment. If there is no God – why are you wasting yours and my time trying to prove there is not a God? Just get on with you life and leave God alone. And devote your time and energy to more worth while endevors. I’m shaking my head “Farts Prove There is No God.” Ha! I have a new term for Atheist since they don’t really exist – Run-away-theist. Atheist know there is a God but don’t want to admit or submit to the higher power. They want to do things their way. Go ahead and try. There is so much evidence out there to prove the existence of a Creator that the Run-Away-Theist has to spend most of their time explaining away God. Which is more than a full time job.

The idea that the existance of farts proving anything about God is completely ludicruos. You burn wood and you get heat and smoke. You digest food, you get nurishment and farts. How are they different? Then consider argueing the existance of smoke prooves God does not exist.

Why would people not want to embrace the fact that God himself farts and feels the exact same feelings of relief, disgust and amusement as we all do? He made us in his image didn’t he? Why would people assume God doesn’t fart?