Christine Tanner (birth name unknown) was born in 79 AD in the city of Pompeii to a wealthy patrician nobleman. Her entire family was killed mere hours after her birth by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, an event accidentally triggered by the time-travelling war correspondent Mark Logan. Logan, overcome by guilt, saved the infant child in the nick of time and raised her from a pup.

Tanner explored time and space with Logan for six thousand years, until something happened. The details of the event are unknown (and actually in violation of intergalactic law to discuss as per the 6215 Eerk-Zenobian Edict of Sut’Bek Prime). Regardless of what happened, Logan was forced to wipe her memories of the event, or else her brain would melt into little pieces, as brains are wont to do. Implanting a false history in her mind, Logan deposited Tanner in 2012 San Francisco and kept watch over her, telling her that he was her cousin. Unfortunately, what Logan didn’t realize is that when inputting the numbers for the “Bitchiness” statistic in the personality subroutines of his Memory-Wemory Machine, he accidentally put the decimal point two spaces to the right, making Tanner 10 times more bitchy than he intended.

In 2013, Logan set Tanner up on a date with Biff Malloy. The date did not go well, because Christine is seriously just like a total bitch. Also, because they were attacked by demon ducks. They did wind up boinking, however. But not before killing a bunch of ducks.