The Neediest Cases; Giving, Rather Than Getting: A Secret of Life, Often Told

By Kari Haskell

Jan. 2, 2005

What is the secret to a happy life? Ask Roland Brigando, 65, of Brooklyn, a cancer survivor, and he'll give you a list: a woman you love, family, faith and staying active through volunteer work.

Somehow, he manages to balance all four.

On Mondays, after a peck on the cheek for his wife, Linda, he travels by subway to the Othmer Cancer Center at Long Island College Hospital. He is a one-man cheerleading squad for patients. He brings reading material, games, and a deep empathy.

In 1982, at the age of 42, his doctors at the very same hospital told him he had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. The news devastated him. "I felt like I was in a dark tunnel with no light," he said.

His physicians detected the illness in its first stages. He received 44 treatments of radiation over two months.

Surviving gave him a renewed sense of purpose. The day he left the hospital he vowed to his doctors that he would be back. After retiring from an engineering position at the Brooklyn Union Gas Company in 1997, he officially began volunteering.

"God gives us gifts, talents and skills and we should use them to help others," said Mr. Brigando at the offices of the Community Service Society on 23rd Street in Manhattan.

Through the Community Service Society, he receives a stipend for subway travel drawn from The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund -- just $12 every two months, he says, a small sum that goes a long way. The society's volunteer programs and its emergency assistance to poor New Yorkers are underwritten by the Neediest Cases, which supports it and six other local charities.

At the hospital, Mr. Brigando does more than visit patients. He also supervises an educational resource center donated by the family of a woman who died of cancer. The lounge is open to everyone; he makes sure the area, which is set up like a living room, is stocked with magazines, books and movies to watch on the television there.

To provide some of these items, he often uses his own money, he said.

At one time, the recreational space was more than a lounge area; it was an entire room on a lower floor. His goal is to work with the hospital administration to relocate the center to a new and bigger room.

"The resource center gives patients a place to go outside their rooms," he said. He believes that it is through interaction with others that patients find strength and hope.

Just striking up a conversation with a patient can ease fears and provide comfort, he said. "I always tell them that the next time I come, I hope that they aren't here," he said. "Because that means that they have gone home."

Some patients come to him for spiritual guidance, too. Since 1979, he has been a Eucharistic minister at a Catholic church near his home.

Through the church, he has become involved in other volunteer work. He brings food to the elderly and those too ill to leave their homes. Many are diabetic, some suffer from dementia or have suffered strokes, and still others are paraplegics.

This is only the beginning of his charity work. As a member of the Cancer Hope Network, he connects with lymphoma patients across the country who need advice about the disease and someone to talk to.

"It helps for them to know what to expect, because I have been through it," he said.

Sometimes volunteering depends on the season. At tax time, Mr. Brigando helps senior citizens navigate the paperwork. "I have always loved doing taxes, they are like a puzzle. I know it's crazy, but its fun." When winter comes, he finds time to volunteer at another church, serving meals at a soup kitchen. His wife does most of the cooking.

"She makes pasta, and soup," he said.

He credits his wife for much of his dedication. She makes sure that his diet is healthy and that he stays active.

During the holidays, Mr. Brigando is a busy man. "I just hope to inspire others," he said. "A little from many is more than one person doing a lot."

HOW TO HELP

Checks payable to The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund should be sent to 4 Chase Metrotech Center, 7th Floor East, Lockbox 5193, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11245, or any of these organizations:

UJA-FEDERATION OF NEW YORK Church Street Station P.O. Box 4100 New York, N.Y. 10261-4100

Donations may be made with a credit card by phone at (212) 556-5851 (ext. 7) or online, courtesy of CharityWave.com, an Internet donations service, at www.nytimesneediest.charitywave.com. For instructions on how to donate stock to the fund, call (212) 556-1137 or fax (212) 556-4450.

No agents or solicitors are authorized to seek contributions for The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund.

The Times pays the fund's expenses, so all contributions go directly to the charities, which use them to provide services and cash assistance to the poor.

Contributions to the fund are deductible on federal, state and city income taxes to the extent permitted by law.