Food banks will be opened up to the free market in moves announced today. ‘We feel it’s fundamentally wrong that some central ‘expert’ – a priest, community leader, charity worker etc – should decide on the food supply available through food banks. [read...]

Tesco bosses have announced a new price-match promotion which they hope will attract a ‘better class of affluent customer’ into their stores. The price-match with Waitrose will guarantee that no equivalent product in Tesco is ever sold cheaper than Waitrose. [read...]

Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions. [read...]