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Hochman: What makes curling such a beloved sport?

By Benjamin Hochman, The Denver Post

Posted:
02/21/2014 06:11:40 PM MST

Updated:
02/21/2014 06:11:43 PM MST

MONUMENT, Colo. — “Let's go to the hack,” the curling instructor said aloud. And I thought, “Dude, you don't have to say it right to my face” — when I realized he actually was talking about curling's equivalent to the starting block.

I was a writer infiltrating the world of curling, this curious Olympic sport, in order to get a sense of what makes it actually so difficult, and what makes it so beloved.

The instructor, John West, the ol' skip, first had me do repetitive trial pushes off the hack, to the point where my left calf throbbed like ... well, I would have said “a person whose only athletic activity is curling,” but that joke sure backfired.

“If you get a cramp, which is very common, let me know,” West said. “A single-malt scotch usually cures that.”

The old Scottish sport of curling dates back to 1511 and has become niche activity for those who love competition, booze and competing while boozing. But while it's a recreation for some, it's a lifestyle for others — and West, while quick with a joke, takes curling seriously.

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He's played since 1958, and has been a member of the Broadmoor Curling Club since 1988, the same year curling returned to the Olympics as a demonstration sport (it became an official Olympic event a decade later).

This day at the Colorado Sports Center, I quickly learned that curling does take athletic skill, and while this isn't Alpine racing, you need leg strength, speed and some savvy to out-curl curlers. During a long competition, I was told, some curlers can lose up to 10 pounds, and as such, I hope to participate in four competitions ASAP.

So, some quick Curling 101. There are two teams made of four people. Each person on a team “throws” two “stones” down a 114-foot sheet of ice. While one person throws, two people sweep in front of the sliding stone, to reduce friction. The fourth person, the skip, yells commands. The stones generally end up in a 12-foot circle, which looks like a target. Only one team can get points in each round of the 16 throws, based on stone location.

OK, enough inside curling. Let's talk britches. I'd seen these Norwegian fellows at the Olympics wearing zany zebra-patterned pants, so I decided to break out my pair of Zubaz, the zebra'd monstrosities that Bernie Kosar likely wore to the bars in 1991.

All morning, West peppered me with information, making a lot of comparisons to weird things, such as, “You know what an out-rigger canoe is?”

“I actually don't know much about much.”

“Sure you do, you work for a newspaper.”

“Sports, though.”

West also introduced me to my nemesis — sweet Amilia Knight, his 13-year-old protege who, after her first curl three years ago, “John gave me a look that was like, 'Really? Already, huh.' ”

She dreams of curling in college and making the 2026 Olympics. I dreamed of not slipping.

And finally, after the trial runs for practicing my form — “It's an unnatural act until it becomes a natural act,” West explained — he gave me an actual stone to throw. This was my moment. My Everest.

West, my skip-turned-Sherpa, bellowed: “PUUUUUSH!”

I pressed the sole of my left foot on the hack, and pressed my soul into my throw. I glided off the hack about 10 feet and released the stone down the long ice.

“Get there!” I barked. “Get there!”

“Curling,” West gently explained, “is a traditional sport, so no trash talking.”

“Don't get there!” I quickly said, surely saving face.

My stone did not get there.

Overall, I had a splendid time getting to know West and Knight, who gush about their sport — Knight even wore earrings shaped like curling stones.

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