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Squudge on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-221101
Wed, 30 Apr 2014 19:20:22 +0000Squudge221101@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>D@mn - good one MD, why didn't I think of that? &lt;averts eyes&gt;</p>
<p>Thanks chaps, and ta to the duty Ed for re-shuffling it into a more flowing order. Unlike the trains.</p>
<p>(Katie - so glad to evoke happy memories of yesterday. I do hope you are recovering well)
</p>Tripod on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-221006
Wed, 30 Apr 2014 13:01:17 +0000Tripod221006@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Yes, frottage. I mean, stars...
</p>Midfield Diamond on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-221004
Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:54:58 +0000Midfield Diamond221004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Yes, good one. Intimate physical contact compulsory. Eye contact still prohibited though.
</p>KateWritesStuff on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-220981
Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:07:44 +0000KateWritesStuff220981@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>After having my face seductively squished into the shoulder blade of a 6' something man on the overground for half an hour yesterday, (All 3 million commuters suddenly decided they wanted to get on MY 6 carriage train to Kent) this made me laugh a lot. Nice one, Squudge!
</p>Kevin the Swan on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-220892
Tue, 29 Apr 2014 21:17:11 +0000Kevin the Swan220892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>This behaviour may go some way to explaining why humans think battery-farming is ok. </p>
<p>&lt;spits&gt;
</p>Wrenfoe on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-220887
Tue, 29 Apr 2014 20:35:21 +0000Wrenfoe220887@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Like it
</p>Squudge on "Tube strike a massive bonus for those 'starved of human contact'"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75594#post-220885
Tue, 29 Apr 2014 20:29:50 +0000Squudge220885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Psychologists, sex-therapists and S&amp;M enthusiasts were only a few of the groups today to welcome the latest tube strike 'with open arms'. Many commuters admitted to travelling unecessary stops to take advantage of the exquisitely intimate conditions on the London transport network over the past 24 hours. </p>
<p>Despite ample notice of the industrial action and live updates on the situation via various media sources, crowds appeared undeterred. Long queues formed to participate in the hot, frenetic action every time the doors opened to admit revellers onto the trains or onto the alternate transport, openly referred to as 'the Boris bendy bus' after 'he of eerie appetite'. Others were happy simply to join the silent majority just watching. Many of the rapt audience were willing to wait hours, simply for the vicarious pleasure of silently observing, or even 'chatting to like-minded individuals' about the unobtainable pleasures of 'getting there'.</p>
<p>'I am forever indebted to Bob Crowe for the most sexually gratifying experience I could get without risking a criminal charge', explained Paul, a startlingly unattractive individual from Salisbury. A Whitehall middle manager admitted, 'Normally when I rub myself forcibly against junior staff at work, I run the risk of being accused of bullying or harrassment', he explained, 'Here though, no-one passes judgement.'</p>
<p>The strike has also proved an unexpected draw for those of less tactile tendencies, who are happy just to mill around at the back of the mêlée, airing their grievances. 'I just love complaining', admitted Beverly, an admin support from Hammersmith.</p>
<p>Some admitted to being lured by the promise of 'action' from the 'RMT Union', which was widely misunderstood to be an unnatural but perversely exciting movement. 'Some of these people are looking for love in all the wrong places', explained an Underground engineer. 'The Northern Line can be very fickle at the best of times'.
</p>Sinnick on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210479
Fri, 07 Feb 2014 11:02:21 +0000Sinnick210479@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Great story, obviously inspired by FOAD</p>
<p>Thanks for the tune, godly. Sung with a little passion, I think.
</p>sponge finger on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210295
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 22:21:34 +0000sponge finger210295@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>splendid tune Godly
</p>godly1966 on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210280
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 20:10:14 +0000godly1966210280@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Everybody sing along <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UymKurTBdhw" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UymKurTBdhw</a>
</p>CulchaVulcha on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210270
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:26:11 +0000CulchaVulcha210270@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Russell Brand is a runner clearly. Rowan Van Den Berg could do a new one every day.
</p>FOAD on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210262
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:00:42 +0000FOAD210262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71464">Very good. 5*</a>
</p>Squudge on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210250
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 16:46:50 +0000Squudge210250@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>or indeed ma'am
</p>Oxbridge on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210248
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 16:42:47 +0000Oxbridge210248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Double Nib! You're on fire sir!
</p>Wrenfoe on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210244
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 16:15:18 +0000Wrenfoe210244@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>NiB gratz
</p>CulchaVulcha on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210216
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 14:01:43 +0000CulchaVulcha210216@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>very good
</p>Wrenfoe on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210215
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 13:52:32 +0000Wrenfoe210215@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Full starz from me
</p>Rowan van den Berg on "London's Tube Crisis - Russell Brand Yet To Comment"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71525#post-210210
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 13:14:58 +0000Rowan van den Berg210210@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Confusion is growing in London today as the tube strike continues and Russell Brand remains silent on the matter. Millions of Londoners are all discussing the same thing and yet Brand hasn't released any form of open letter.<br />
Union leaders have asked to meet with Boris Johnson, who has currently declined on the grounds that without Brand's imput, a solution will be impossible.<br />
'No-one's sure what's going on' said Mr Johnson to BBC Radio 4 this morning, 'we only know some working people aren't happy about something. My natural instinct is to have them all shot, thus escalating any potential violence. We're delaying that action until Brand has taught us how to relate to the ordinary people'.<br />
RMT leader Bob Crow has at last found some common ground with Mr Johnson, echoing his sentiments. 'We feel totally unheard and isolated. We're waiting for Russell to let us know how we're feeling, and of course how this in some way relates to him. Ideally we'd like him to mention his friendship with Philip Seymour Hoffman or Amy Winehouse.'<br />
It is widely understood that Mr Brand, whom Kofi Annan has previously called 'his inspiration', remembers the tube very well from the 1980s and so has a great deal of input to provide. Mr Brand remains in his LA condo at present but it's hoped he'll find the time to send an email to the Guardian any day now.
</p>Squudge on "COMMUTERS BEG UNIONS TO EXTEND TUBE STRIKE"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71507#post-210187
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 09:57:43 +0000Squudge210187@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Bravo
</p>Spartacus on "COMMUTERS BEG UNIONS TO EXTEND TUBE STRIKE"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71507#post-210181
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 09:27:38 +0000Spartacus210181@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Very excellent
</p>Golgo13 on "COMMUTERS BEG UNIONS TO EXTEND TUBE STRIKE"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71507#post-210178
Wed, 05 Feb 2014 09:13:37 +0000Golgo13210178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Excellent.
</p>Peter749400 on "COMMUTERS BEG UNIONS TO EXTEND TUBE STRIKE"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71507#post-210161
Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:50:38 +0000Peter749400210161@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><img src="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00682/tube-commuters_682300c.jpg"></p>
<p>London commuters begged London transport unions tonight to extend the current 48 hour tube strike indefinitely, citing "an immeasurable improvement to our quality of life and general well-being" since suspension of services began.</p>
<p>"Please, stop holding London to ransom by threatening to resume services tomorrow morning" said a spokesman for the London Commuters Group; "give us a few more days of freedom from these fetid caskets of lurching hopelessness. We can get the bus and see the sights, or we can walk - nay, skip - to work and be all the happier for it. Are men, like ants, born to creep through narrow tunnels the day long, our limbs cramped and contorted and our noses filled with the stench of armpit? No! Let us breathe the intoxicating fresh air and bask in the fortifying sunshine, and break these shackles forever!"</p>
<p>One commuter commented: "I saw the sun-set for the first time in 5 years when I walked home from work today. So many colours. I feel alive again". </p>
<p>"I saw a chaffinch in the park when I walked to work", added another. "Normally I only see sparrows on the northern line."</p>
<p>However, bosses across London reported worrying levels of exuberance among some workers. "They'd better call this strike off pronto" said Dave Bigshot from one major employer. "All my staff are coming in bringing acorns they've found in the park or sharing photos taken from the top decks of buses. I need my workforce crushed, fearful and despondent, and the tube is a very important element of that."
</p>