Thursday, August 1, 2013

Twenty Different Ways to Say "No" and Still Be a Nice Teacher

“That’s not fair!” “But you said!” “Are you sure?” “How come
we have to do that?” It’s clear from reactions like these that many students
are used to arguing with the authority figures in their lives. From howls of
protest when we make unpopular decisions to endless debates about possible
answers on a test, many students are accustomed to getting their own way if
they nag loudly enough to wear out their exhausted teachers.

Teachers spend their days bombarded by a steady stream of
requests from students who want to go to the restroom, the office, a locker,
the clinic, or to call home, open a window, shut a window, sharpen pencils, and
hear the directions just one more time. Fielding these entreaties tactfully
requires that we make quick decisions not only about whether the request is a
sound one, but also how our response will affect the entire class as well as
the student making it.

As a new school year begins, you just may want to arm
yourself with some respectful ways to say "no" so that your
students are not only aware that you mean business, but are still on their
side. After all, one of the most useful skills that a teacher can
develop is the ability to refuse a student’s request without causing offense.
Although it may seem impossible, this is not as difficult as it appears.
Instead of abruptly refusing, try one of the statements or questions below.
Each one is designed to deny a student request in a pleasant,
non-confrontational way that preserves the student’s dignity.