Temptation

A sweet girl who likes to do wicked things. A wallflower in disguise.

I’m not a professional Domme and don’t want to become one, though I admit the money is tempting. I’m a writer. I write fiction and non-fiction. Sometimes I like to draw too.

I think the biggest challenge in having a FemDom relationship is keeping it that way. If she isn’t having fun and loving what she is doing most likely the focus has gone back to his needs/ wants instead of theirs (as a couple).

Men want to meet Dommes, real women who enjoy Dominating men. However, men don’t seem to understand that we are real women, people too. We have interests, thoughts and lives that have nothing to do with tying men up, teasing and tormenting them. (As much fun as all that is).

I’m writing this blog for myself mainly. I used to write a weekly column called Bait & Switch for Adult BackWash. (BackWash is closed now). I would write about sex, kinky stuff, fetishes, online dating, romance, passion and sensuality. I also wrote about my views as a woman who likes treating men as my own personal sex toy.

Don’t think that I’m some experienced professional, cause I’m not. I never have been. I’m a woman you could meet any day and pass without suspecting I was anything but someone’s sister/ daughter/ aunt. Just think about that… how do you know you didn’t see me today? I’m a nice girl, a romantic. I tend to be quiet and polite and I’m thinking a lot behind my glasses. I’m the woman your Mother would like you to bring home.

Isn’t that ironic?

I like teasing men while they can’t do much about it. I like the idea of keeping a man in a cage or tied hand and foot to the frame of the doorway, or told to wear a bib in the restaurant. I like having a man who does it all, not because he has to, not because he could not escape the bondage or just say No, but because he wants to. I like a man who is strong, independent, intelligent and submissive (but only to me). I’m not into sharing quite that much.

I like a home made brand of D/s. Where instead of spending money on toys from a catalogue I am creative and use my own ideas and imagination. I really like having something ordinary become extraordinary fun in a kinky way. It gives you a whole new outlook each time you open a drawer in the kitchen, especially that junk drawer with all the odds and ends.

I also like writing fiction, Femdom fiction. I’ve won 2nd place in an erotica writing contest run (in part) by Gloria Brame but that was several years ago. Still, it was quite an honour to me at the time. I have some of my erotic fiction online, even though BackWash is not available, I had another source previous to my work there. I’ve been published in The Dominant’s View at least twice. (Looks like that’s gone now too).

Anyway, this is as much information as I feel like giving away right now.

6 thoughts on “Temptation”

“Men want to meet Dommes, real women who enjoy Dominating men.” Yeah right! That’s what the creeps are saying. Here’s reality. Men want to meet submissive women who are willing to ‘dominate’ them on their terms.

Femdom is only for born slaves and dominas, Laura. We have it in our DNA. No escape possible.

Not particularly making it work these days. I did find a man who I would have liked but he lived too far away. Neither of us were willing to move (I’ve already moved to another country once for a man). So it ended a bit sad but on good terms. Of course, there was another dork on FetLife but that’s not news.

Sound like my wife and I. Too many guys find a domme and then are disappointed that they do not dominate them as they wish to be dominated. They all seem to have read the same fantasy online and want to live it. I often ask guys looking for a keyholder, why would a woman they do not know want to hold their keys? Why would some woman even care if they lock themselves up. What would the woman get from that relationship. Seems that most want money and then the guys call them all sorts of dirty names. Men, we are just immature jerks when it comes to sex.

I am a senior citizen with his best BDSM days behind him. We too used home made toys and some inexpensive store bought ones. My wife is bisexual and her girlfriend dominated me. We always talked before starting our scene so that we were both on the same page. We tried to make it fun for both and often it was. Sure, once in a while she would do something just for my sake but in the whole, it was mostly things we both enjoyed. Once the sex was over, I went back to my dominant self and had a real none sexual relationship with our g/f. Like you, she would never be spotted as a domme. She was a school teacher that, even though she had very large breasts, would wear clothes that did not even show her cleavage. In fact, most of the greatest sex I ever had was not with overtly sexual women but those like you described.

I only recently tried some sex related forums but quickly found out that most did not like reality interjected. It appears that most were living their fantasy online as the ‘true’ stories they told could not hold up under interrogation. I am to believe that a wife dresses her husband as a maid and then invites all their friends, family and neighbors over so that he can server them dinner and then be used as a toilet by all. My grandmother would just love that. Despite the outrageous story, all of the posts were congratulating the author and wishing they were him.

My true stories were boring by comparison and did not get many replies. No one wants to hear about my one and only cuckolding experience where my wife hated it, I got no pleasure out of it and none of that stuff you read about happened. 🙂

Most of the stuff you read is all fiction. I’m sure of it as soon as I read about a guy claiming to really be used as a toilet, for example. Who would want that as a reality? Men do get caught up in the fantasy of what BDSM/ FemDom “should” be according to some porn book of sex.

Women also get caught in this trap. It is easy to slip into it when you want to find someone, feel lonely and put on the shelf. We start being accommodating. Too accommodating and it then becomes all about him, which is what the men really do want. But, it leaves the women (me at least) feeling more alone than before. I’m going to be 50 this year and I’m feeling on the shelf more than ever.

It is very discouraging to read the online BDSM type of forums now. When my login shows up as fresh men send notes to my profle. They don’t actually read my profile before sending these notes. I look at the profiles of men in my area and they are all the same, no matter what they lie about in order to sound “good”. They still start a conversation asking about meeting before they know if I actually care to meet them. Anyway, I certainly don’t need a man for a good orgasm and if they can’t offer more than sex I can’t see any point to them. Instead I am doing other things and enjoying life and sex as it pleases me. On the slim chance I do find someone yet, I will be living a life worth sharing.