Tag: Tito Ortiz

In the MMA marketing game, the list of tactics used to promote a fight card goes something like this:

1. Bring in a recently disgraced legend from your more popular rival promotion to play skeeball/sign autographs.

2. Everything else.

Unfortunately for Bellator, option 1 is no longer on the table, as Wanderlei Silva has been contractually cock-blocked from appearing at their Dave & Busters party this Friday. So with their backs against the wall, Scott Coker’s crack team of ad execs have been forced to reach deep into their idea banks to promote this weekend’s Bellator 131 card. The results have been nothing short of hilarious — like something Jackie Moon would come up with if he was stuck in a creative slump.

Bellator kicked things off in style last night with (what I can only assume was) their first “Taco Tuesday” event, hosted at Dave & Busters and MC’ed by Bellator colorman Jimmy Smith — who I absolutely refuse to talk trash about because he seems awesome. If you hadn’t guessed, “Taco Tuesday” pitted 10 or so diehard MMA fans against one another in a taco-eating competition, with the winner earning a ticket to Bellator 131. And right now, AS WE SPEAK, the promotion is hosting a scavenger hunt across San Diego for, you guessed it, tickets to Bellator 131.

After the jump: Play-by-play analysis of said scavenger hunt (not really), and a few of our ideas about how Bellator can promote themselves in the future.

Things seemed to have calmed down a bit between Stephan Bonnar and Tito Ortiz following their plain cartoonish “brawl” at Bellator 123. Now less than a week out from their Grudge Match for the Ages at Bellator 131, the time for trash-talk has come and gone, thankfully, and the time to get this damn thing over with is nearly upon us. Now if only we can finish this sentence uninterrupt-

(*checks earpiece*)

What’s that? Tito’s saying what? What do you mean a spy is involved? (via Ortiz’s interview with MMAWeekly):

Well, it really came down to a plan, an idea that I thought would work, worked perfectly.

When I first signed with Bellator, I guess Dana (White) and Bonnar kind of had an idea that if they called me out, I would come back to the UFC and fight. And this was a year ago that this happened. And I wasn’t going to let that happen.

I wanted to fight in Bellator, so I signed with Bellator and I thought in my mind, ‘How can I get Bonnar to Bellator to finally shut him up and smash him after the things he said?’

And sneakily on my side, I got (fighter manager) Dave Thomas to sign him. Dave Thomas signed him and we had to think of something to make him believe that Dave Thomas doesn’t like me, that Paul Herrera didn’t like me. Paul Herrera was going to coach him. And Stephan Bonnar bit the line, hook and sinker. He thought in his own mind that all of his guys were against me and I fooled him.

And now it’s a week out from the fight. I know how his training camp went. I know the ins and outs. So he just got baited. That’s how bad I want to cave his face in.

Well,there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen. Thankfully, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.

A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. All real photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog. Another card’s image comes from a YouTube screen capture (you’ll know which one).

I know it’s only Monday morning, but are you guys ready to have your f*cking minds blown?!! Because it turns out that, contrary to the opinions of almost everyone who witnessed it live, the super awesome Stephan Bonnar-Tito Ortiz brawl at Bellator 123 *might* have been pre-planned. I know, right? So sayeth Bonnar himself:

Listen @Lowkey1324, @titoortiz is a self absorbed ego maniac.The world needed 2 know.Tito, Coker, @BellatorMMA & @SpikeTV, didn’t know shit! It was all me & @JustinMcCully. If u wanna hate us 4 pulling a pro wrestling esque promo off while calling tito out on the BS he’s pulled on people over the years..Then by all means, go buy yourself some punishment gear, a front row ticket, and be sure to bring a rain coat, cuz things r gonna get bloody.

Well I don’t know about you guys, but I am shocked. Shocked I tells ya!! I could have sworn that cornrows rapist mask executioner mask guy was legitimately just there for moral support, and that Bonnar’s hi-larious Jenna Jameson jokes were ripped from the top of his dome, but now I feel cheated. Embarassed for the sport, even. So I say shame on you, Stephan Bonnar, for toying with our emotions so carelessly during an otherwise pleasant evening of fights. I can’t even look at you anymore, and it’s not just because you’re making that face again.

But I’m sure we’re all still wondering, whose idea was the f*cking rape mask? Well…

Except it wasn’t the end. According to a report from Ariel Helwani, Bonnar has signed a multi-fight contract with Bellator, and may also do some broadcasting work for the promotion on Spike TV. Bonnar’s debut date and opponent haven’t been revealed yet, but the rumor is that he’ll be fighting fellow UFC HoF’er Tito Ortiz, and he’s already angling for the match:

“I want everyone to know I’m coming out of retirement because it’s time to free the MMA world of the virus that’s known as Tito Ortiz,” Bonnar said in a statement provided by Bellator. “We’ve been suffering through his boring fights for too many years, and it’s about time that someone beats it out of him once and for all.”

Just four months ago, Bonnar told BloodyElbow that he wouldn’t fight for any other promotion besides the UFC, and that he’s currently enjoying his new life as a day-trader. (“It’s about loyalty,” Bonnar said. “More than anything, I take pride in being a part of the UFC and I wouldn’t want to screw that up.”) Well, loyalty only goes so far when Spikeforce is dangling a huge paycheck in front of you.

We’re not sure if this is a simple miscommunication or some Jon Jones-level troll job, but for some reason, heavyweight contender and PRIDE legend Mark Hunt recently took to Twitter to lament his apparent release from the UFC, stating:

Well I’m unemployed that sucks. Not my choice guys but going from being exited [sic] at the prospects of the future of fighting to being unemployed in a day lol this sucks.

This of course led to some public outcry, because nobody sweeps “The Super Samoan” under the rug like he’s just some…regular Samoan. Nobody. Enraged fans proceeded to put Daddy Dana on blast via the Twitter, which led to this concise yet somehow ridiculously hyperbolic response from the UFC prez…

( *sigh* They just don’t make squash matches like they used to. Photo via Getty.)

How good can a fight *really* be if it ends quicker than Michael Bisping’s prom night? That’s just the question we’re trying to answer this week, and we’ve got a whole slew of special guests to help us: Sydnie Jones of WomensMMA (making her second CP Roundtable appearance), Tim Burke (formerly of BloodyElbow), MiddleEasy Editor-in-Chief Jason Nawara, and MiddleEasy writer Nick Robertson. The topic: What is the Greatest One-Minute Fight of All Time? Join us for yet another thrilling CagePotato Roundtable, won’t you?

Coincidentally, Silva vs. Leben synchronizes perfectly to my favorite under-a-minute song of all time, “Wasted” by Black Flag, which is officially listed at 51 seconds, but includes about two seconds of dead air at the end. For your convenience, I’ve overlaid the Silva vs. Leben fight with “Wasted” in the video above, so you can see what I mean.

The whole thing is fast, dumb, and violent, just like MMA at its best. And when Leben collapses to the mat at the end of the fight, as Keith Morris shrugs off the final line “I was wasted,” it’s such a perfect summary of Leben’s persona. He’s reckless, self-sabotaging, often intoxicated, always driving forward with no regard for the consequences. He’ll wake up the next morning with a massive headache, take a couple bong rips, and go skateboarding without a helmet, because fuck it, if it’s your time to go it’s your time to go.

We here at CagePotato.com aren’t the types to say “We told you so,” which is convenient, because we couldn’t even gather enough interest in BJ Penn vs. Frankie Edgar III to mock it beforehand. The fight ended predictably; Penn continued to be no match for Edgar, and “The Prodigy” hinted at yet another retirement from MMA after it was over. Given the trilogy’s one-sided nature and predictable ending, we’re tempted to call it the most pointless trilogy in our sport’s history. But doing so would do the following trilogies a grave injustice:

Bryan Robinson vs. Andrew Reinard

A quick glance at the record of every ironman in MMA will reveal multiple victories over fighters who can best be described as “victims” and “warm bodies.” Reinard is Exhibit A: You can watch his entire three-fight career in only forty-eight seconds.
[Author Note: Robinson vs. Reinard is a stand-in for every pointless trilogy that other MMA ironmen have been involved in. Coincidentally, Robinson himself accounts for seven (?!?) of Travis Fulton's career victories.]

Four chefs, three courses, only one chance to win! The challenge: Create an unforgettable meal from the mystery items hidden in these baskets before time. runs. out. Our distinguished panel of chefs will critique their work, and one by one, they must face the dreaded chopping block. Who will win the $10,000 prize, and who will be…Chopped?

Four MMA fighters-turned chefs think they have what it takes to win. Lets meet them. First up, Tito Ortiz…

[*Cue a montage of Ortiz hitting truck tires with a sledgehammer, pointing to business documents that clearly have nothing written on them*]

Tito Ortiz: “My name’s Ito Tortiz. I mean, Tito Ortiz. For years, people have been doubting my ability to compete at the highest level of reality show cooking competitions. But I’m here to prove them all wrong today and show that ‘The People’s Champ’, like no other, cooks like no other.”

Tim Sylvia: (*while eating jelly doughnut*) “I’m a real outside the box thinker when it comes to preparing meals. Just the other day, I filled an old oil barrel with ham hocks and melted cheese. It was a fantastic mid-afternoon snack.”