Words should speak volume

Caught in the middle of me

We spend so much of our time thinking about what we should do rather than taking action and going for it. I for one go through so many different thoughts before I choose to do something. Even if it’s something that I actually want to peruse. This is especially true when I care for someone. My emotions become intertwine between the girl that I was and the person that I am now. The old me is frighten of everything and everyone and the person I am now is well, let’s say more carefree to an extent. I am the person who would jump out of an airplane for fun. The person who loves to read during a stormy day and a sunshine full day. As I’m getting older I’m starting to get to know me as a person; as the person I always was, but never got the chance to know. I was always trying to fit in and never to stand out. Now, I embrace my weirdness and love it when I take people by surprise. While most things I say I don’t mean, but I say to bring laughter it’s still meaningful to me. My purpose is to make myself happy; either through writing or listening to music with an actual beat; if it makes me happy that’s all I care about. As I said before I am starting to know who I am and where I want to be in the future and on the days that I have no clue; at least I know where I don’t want to be. I’m not the person who wants to be in jail or the person who wants to be behind a desk or the person you call to clean your house. Those people are just not me and that’s okay. I am, who, I am. Now, when it comes to love that’s where I’ am intertwined; like so many people I love the idea of being loved. Yet, I ‘am horribly terrified of it. I run like the sky is falling when the possibility presents its self. In other words; I’m chicken shit. When I like someone I cannot seem to make a sentence. Yea, I am one of those dorks, but that’s who I am. It’s difficult though because even though I like someone and want to get know that person I cannot make myself go for it. The possibility of rejection is much greater than the chance of breaking a bone.

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2 thoughts on “Caught in the middle of me”

I admire how this post of yours is filled with only genuine emotions! It’s alright if we feel kind of ‘trapped’ behind anxieties sometimes; we all go through that. It’s scary how we scare our own selves sometimes- but I guess that’s just a part of life. Stay strong, and good luck!