Cleveland Amory once said that only men could be curmudgeons. Fine. I've set out to be a curmudgeonette.
I'm middle-aged, single, owned by a stubborn dog and so white bread all my clothes should say "Wonder." If it weren't for a few little quirks, I would be absolutely indistinguishable from other Midwestern females.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I've never thought of myself that way!

Yesterday afternoon, I loaded all of my Home Depot purchases onto one of those big flatbed carts they have and headed up to the register. The cashier asked me, in a tone of surprise, if I had loaded everything in by myself. When I said yes, she asked why I hadn't asked for help (ummm, because I didn't think to!). The only time I have asked for help was the last time I bought topsoil at Ace Hardware, and then only because I stopped on my way to a dinner engagement and I didn't want to get dirty.

I got a similar reaction every time I bought a carload of mulch and helped load it and when I turn down help loading the fifty-pound bag of dog food I buy every month. I keep getting comments about how strong I must be. My internal response is that it's really not all that awesome to be able to heave things around for a short time--"strong" is the people who load all this crap I buy onto and off of trucks, etc.

It makes me wonder if it is my appearance (short, fat, elderly) which makes people surprised about my ability to carry things. Or is it that Americans in general have gotten in the habit of having others do things for us? Perhaps it falls somewhere in between, but I feel a little weird being admired for something that really isn't all that special, although I will cherish the comment the Home Depot cashier made on my way out.

I never told you this story, lets just say the cashier was right in asking you why you didn't ask for help. I don't know how much I can tell you, but lets just say a lady that fit your description much better then you do tried something similar and ended up showing the rest of the planet that she should have asked for help.

So while you can be understood for reacting the way you did, and you are intelligent enough to know what you can and cannot do, please understand that they were right to ask what they did - especially in todays litigous (sp?) society.

At 4'10" I am small, but strong. I ask for help reaching or carrying all the time, not so much because I need it, but because it makes people happy to help me. I live alone, so it's not like I'm a delicate flower; I have to do it all myself at home.

On not messing with me, when someone is yelling at me, I wait quietly, and when they pause, I say "Do you realize that from here I can see straight up your nose?" Shuts them up right quick....

More aggressively, I'll point out that their balls are at tooth level for me.

It's a numeric equation for me. 40 pounds is my limit. Mom was always asking me to toss 80 pound bags of manure about, since she'd never picked up anything more than five pounds. We settled on forty pounds, and I've kept using it.

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About Me

Mustelidae Jammicus Rufus, an aquatic mammal which thrives in environments containing deep bath tubs, luxurious bath products, exquisite paw polish, perfume, jewelry, high thread-count sheets and fluffy pillows. Owned by one adorable dog, possessed of a loving (if slightly crazy) family and generally a happy critter with goofy brain wiring.
Do not feed green peppers to a Jammicus unless you would like them spit back at you at high velocity, and if you start petting one, be prepared to continue for a minimum of thirty minutes.