"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." – Khalil Gibran

A.S. Face 0579: Steve Morris

Hello, my name is Steve Morris. I am 30 years old, from Kansas City, MO. I was diagnosed with AS in Feb, 2010. I have two amazing boys, oldest being 10, youngest being 6 months. My wife, whom I have been married to for three years, together for eleven years, is my rock. She has stood by my side through everything.

Life after diagnosis, has been a complete turn around from my life before. Growing up, I had always been an active person. Baseball was, and still is, a huge passion of mine. I loved to swim, go bike riding, fishing, I loved being outside in general. After I graduated high school, things changed due to a car accident I was in my senior year, I was finding myself slowing down quite a bit. I still loved being outside, but I had a hard time doing anything very active. I won’t go into full detail, but for ten years, I thought I was suffering due to the injury from my accident.

It wasn’t until January of 2010, that my wife finally convinced me to try and go get some more testing done. My doctor ordered a series of x-rays and blood work. A week or two later, I got a phone call, and I was completely floored. For ten years, I was convinced that my back would get better. All I had to do was work the muscles in my lumbar, try to get them stretched out, and then strengthen them. My doctor tells me, I have something called Ankylosing Spondylitis, my SI joint had fused together, there was inflammation all throughout the x-rays, and I was positive for HLA-B27. I didn’t know what to do, or how to react. I drifted in to a major depression. Lost my job, we lost our home, and we lost the first car we had purchased, on our own.

July 4th, 2011, my depression turned too much for my wife to handle, and we separated. A few weeks later, she called to tell me that she was pregnant, she was roughly a month and a half to two months along. It took a few months after that, for me to wrap my head around what was happening. It was then that I started rebuilding myself, with the help of my family, and some close friends.

February 13th, my wife calls and says her water just broke.. 6 weeks early. We were not getting along very well, and honestly, I felt betrayed by her. But I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t go. The next morning, our son was born. February 14th, 2012. As soon as I saw him, I started crying. I went back to the room, kissed my wife on her forehead, and told her “you did good, he’s beautiful”. From then on, things changed. We are happily married, we have two wonderful boys, and we are doing our best to overcome everything that’s thrown at us.

I love my wife, more than I can put into words. The entire time we were separated, even though we didn’t get along, she still took it upon herself to make sure I had the medicine I needed. She would drive an hour, round trip, to pick up my Rx from my RMA and get it filled for me. No matter what got between us emotionally, she was always there for me if I needed.

Now, we still love to fish together, and I may not be able to play anymore, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying a baseball game on TV with my oldest son, every now and then. I have learned to find joy in the little things, it’s still hard, but we get by. =)

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4 Responses to “A.S. Face 0579: Steve Morris”

For the second time today I was gonna write someithing to cheer up a new FACE, and instead I was the one who got cheered up! Cookie, Put this one in the “another amazing AS love story” file! You see Steve, AS made me a bitter man. Bitterness has become an old act. I think the bitterness was the result of the”Frustration” that comes from not being able to do all the things a young man used to do. Your comment, “I’ve learned to find joy in little things” kills off the frustration doesn’t it. I think the first step in defeating frustration is to “accept,” and then “see the beauty in little things.” Thanks for helping me see that Steve.

Thank you, Derek! I was definitely very bitter, and there are times that I still am. I let this disease control me for so long, that I am still trying to find myself. I chose this side of my story for that very reason. I used to be a strong, opinionated person. I didn’t like to have to rely on anyone for anything. Then, as my AS got worse, I found myself relying on my wife too much, and I pushed her away. I forgot, that as much a of a part of my life that she was, that she was still her own person, and she needed me to be me. I almost lost a great woman, and I don’t want anyone to make the same mistake.

Thanks Steve. The physical part of AS we can let the doctors handle, the mental part we have to handle ourselves. And I thinks thats what FACE’s is all about. FACE’s is about picking up ideas and concepts from others so we can use that “tool in our toolbox.” It’s about feeling stronger and more optimistic by soaking up the strength and optimism of the other FACE’s. And perhaps the most important, it’s stories like yours that give all of us encouragement! Every individual FACE, whether they leave a story or not, HELPS the rest of us, therefore it is WE who thank YOU Steve.