Well I,m back on nights again!! I,m slowly turning into a nocturnal beast especially tonight with it being a full moon! I,ve noticed more and more hair growing out of my ears and nose!!

Anyway its been a busy start to the shift, kicking off 5 minutes into checking the vehicle. First job was to a 14 year old girl who had taken a whole lot of tablets. She was giving it loads at her parents house and was not taking any notice of us.

That is until we pointed out the effects of taking the said tablets i.e. rotting the stomach lining, liver failure and a very slow and agonising death! She soon listened to us and changed her mind and came to hospital. She really believed that she would be alright in the morning!

She was one of 6 children and mum was expecting her 7th. shortly. I think mum and dad were finding it hard to cope with their eldest growing up and flexing her wings! They seemed like a decent enough family and I hope things work out for them.

Our next call was to a 39 year old female cardiac arrest. We arrived to be met by 3 police cars and the RRV! We were all too late unfortunately as she had passed away some time ago. She had not been seen for a few days and the police had to force entry using a jemmy’

The next job was to a woman with a nose bleed! With two cars on the drive! And with no loss of motor function! (for her legs or her cars). A quick check up and the form was signed with advice given.

After we cleared the last job we were tasked to do a transfer from A/E to another outlying hospital. During our journey to A/E we were stood down from the transfer and given an emergency….about fifty metres from where we were. No time for Blues & Twos, only enough time to press mobile and attend on the data terminal at the same time.

The lady who had called us was stood outside the address still on her mobile as we walked upto her. She was impressed at our speed! I said that our new vehicles used different fuel developed by NASA and it was helping us enormously.

Anyway she had called us to help her aunt who had collapsed on the hallway floor behind her frontdoor. We could see her through the letter box at the far end of the hallway and she was face down and not moving much. She was 91 years old, quite deaf and virtually blind.

The door was locked but we could just make out the shape of a key in the lock through the frosted glass. So out came the old Maglite (big metal torch also known as a “pop group” when used for self defence i.e. “Take That!”). I managed to break the window nearest to the lock and carefully put my arm in and retrieved the key. When I tryed the key in the door it was,nt locked!

Ooops! I thought! (not really, I thought oh f*%$ing b%$$%*ks!). But to my relief I realised the occupant had locked the door with the Yale and a bolt and a safety chain! So after some careful rooting around we managed to undo all the locks, bolts and chains and gain entry. Fortunately the lady on the floor was uninjured and after we had got her comfortable in her chair the relatives took care of her.

Did a couple of chest pains too. Its amazing that years ago I would look upon a chest pains job as exciting but now I find them so run of the mill! Back at base now writing this and drinking tea and eating cakes!! Nice!