Though new director Tony Gilroy will probably have a steadier hand than his Bourne predecessor Paul Greengrass, I still say if the sh*t gets too shaky and I miss any of Rachel Weisz's performance, someone's gonna get got. Gilroy promises: "Rachel has got to convince us she's an accomplished scientist, be able to convey a shattered personal life, bring a mantle of dead ends in her life to the screen. And in the end she has to kick some f*cking ass." You can read a bit more about Rachel's role (she's no Dr. Christmas Jones) and, while you're there, ogle the luscious photos. Side boob! (VF)

Speaking of heaving bosoms, the military is designing new armor for their female soldiers that can better accomodate certain, ah, aspects of their anatomy. Their inspiration? Xena. I sh*t you not. I hope every female soldier gets a standard issue chakram as well. (The Mary Sue)

The Nerds at MIT want to rain on your extraordinarily geeky parade and claim the Higgs Boson may be an imposter. (The Bunsen Burner)

Here's a new clip from The Dark Knight Rises. I could listen to Gary Oldman gravel at Joseph Gordon-Levitt all day. (Bleeding Cool)

Speaking of Nolan's new film, Vulture reminds us that this isn't the first time Tom Hardy's character, Bane, has graced the big screen. You're forgiven if you missed him somewhere between Schwarzenegger's ice puns and Uma's drag queen impression. (Vulture)

Bad news Direct TV subscribers, it looks like you won't have Jon Stewart to guide you through this election season. Dustin breaks down all the shows you'll no longer get because of their dispute with Viacom. (WG)

As many of you mentioned when I posted a piece called "Cumberb*tches Assemble," Benedict Cumberbatch hates that word for his female fans. He suggests Cumberbabes as a viable alternative. (Celebitchy)

I'd watch this movie. I'd drop everything I'm doing and watch it right this second. (Down With Film)

Here's a fun game to break up your afternoon monotony, hold your hand up over the bottom half of your monitor and see if you can guess the band names associated with these nifty pictogram rock posters as you scroll down. (Unreality)

Or, if it's that kind of day, then all you "Breaking Bad" fans can go Fring yourselves. (AMC)

Screen legend Peter O'Toole announced his retirement from acting. Though he'll be lovingly remembered for Laurence Of ArabiaThe Lion In Winter and How To Steal A Million, MovieLine prefers to remember him for other, more alcoholic reasons. (MovieLine)

Let's use Peter O'Toole's delightful staggers as an inspiration for this Zombie Theme Park. No, I'm not kidding, they're building one in Detroit. (Geekologie)

And let's finish out the day with this fantastic preview for the upcoming web series Harry Potter And The Ten Years Later. Oh yes, Ron's let himself go, but you can see our very own, very talented Shiny Kate in a scandalous corset and stockings combo. Delightful!

Sad about Peter O Toole. One of my favorite roles of his was "My Favorite Year". Decent enough movie but its all about O Toole.In a few years all our military hardware should be based off of fantasy works. It would help even out the jock and nerd divisions in schools.

Sadly, they are likely not going to build the Zombie Theme Park here in Detroit. Someone wants to do it, but it's not going to happen. It's too bad. As a city that's lost over 50% of its population over the last 60 years, there is plenty of abandonded space and the idea of a Zombie Theme Park is (very sadly) waaaaay more realistic than any of their renaissance pipe dreams.

Well that's sad. I was about to snark on the appropriateness of the Zombie Theme Park in your city... But I find myself hanging my head in shame.Detroit could have greatly profited from such a theme park.