Educators share their best ideas for communicating and partnering with parents.

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Susan TerLouw takes a proactive approach to fostering collaboration with her students’ parents.

“I have found texting to be an amazing way to get connected with parents,” says the high school special education teacher. “After not having calls returned, I tried texting and got immediate responses.”

Texting parents allows TerLouw to update them on their child’s progress before waiting for an issue to arise. It’s quick and easy, and TerLouw says the constant flow of contact with parents has done wonders for her own parent-teacher relationships.

“I have been able to move past it to actual conversations, face-to-face meetings, and a trusting relationship.”

It’s that communication and trust that are key to fostering student success, yet connecting with parents still remains a challenge for many educators. Fortunately, savvy teachers are always discovering ways of creating meaningful parent-teacher relationships, from opening a clear channel of communication with their household to drawing parents into the school community through events and programs. Here are some other ideas gathered from your colleagues about how they engage parents.

Focus on the Positive

Middle school teacher Maxine Taylor says that a great way to build a successful parent-teacher relationship is to contact parents before there’s a problem.

“I call or email parents whenever a student does a particularly nice job or has been exceptionally helpful in class,” she says.

Throughout the nation, NEA educators are working closely with parents to ensure their students succeed. For examples and resources for educators and parent, visit our Parent Partnership Resource center.

The extra effort only takes her a few minutes and does wonders for her relationship with parents. By focusing on their child’s successes, Taylor is able to equate parental interaction with positive news, ensuring that parents will be more willing to hear her out when there’s an issue.

“It helps the parents not cringe when we come into contact because they don't just expect to hear bad things.”

Jenna Bower, a middle school teacher who’s in her first year teaching, also stresses the positives with the negatives when it comes to contacting parents.

“As a new teacher I’ve begun sending out ‘HI-LO’ notes on my students’ homework packets,” Bower says. “The weekly note begins with ‘Your Student’s Success,’ and I include two things in this section. The next section is ‘Still Working On,’ and one item goes here.”

By emphasizing successes, Bower is able to get students to willingly share their school experiences with their parents.

“The best part is I have the students read to their parents, so they get to share their successes with parents,” says Bower. “Many times the parents send it back with a thank you note attached. I send out 30 notes a week and it only adds 20 minutes to my Tuesday evenings.”

Share School Experiences

“How was school today?”

“Fine.”

Too often, this is the extent of the conversation students have with their parents about school, so parents love it when teachers go out of their way to fill in the missing experiences.

“In order to keep parents current on classroom milestones, activities and events, and to meet the technology goals of my students, I have my students create a classroom newspaper,” says high school special education teacher Heather Vanover says. “It consists of topics such as sports schedules, upcoming events like picture day and prom, school news, and classroom topics.”

And, because students write the columns and help produce the newspaper, Vanover doesn’t have to spend much time working on it outside the classroom. The end result is a successful product for parents that shows off their children’s skills while keeping them up-to-date on school happenings.

“Each edition has my contact information and a current report of any classroom issues or rewards,” Vanover says. “It’s a fun way to communicate with parents and publish students’ writing.”

“I have my kids bring in a disposable camera with their school supplies,” Richardson says. “I snap special moments that happen during the school year (things that parents miss). When it’s filled, I send it home. Parents can have it developed and send in another if they wish. It’s a great way to capture school experiences.”

Find Common Ground

If you show a willingness to learn more about your students from their parents, then they’ll be more willing to work with you throughout the school year. To accomplish this, you need to be ready to open up to parents and listen to what they have to say. Show an interest in them, and they’ll return the favor.

Mellanay Auman, a middle school language arts teacher, uses the beginning of the year as a time to get to know both parent and student better.

“The first week of school, I send home a fill-in-the-blank letter in English and Spanish for the parents to write to me about their son/daughter,” says Auman. “They get a chance to tell me about what they want their child to accomplish in my class, and about their child’s strengths, hobbies and interests.”

Since you’re asking the parents for input about their children—treating them as partners—they’ll be more willing to communicate with you throughout the year.

“The parents love bragging about their child, and this letter opens the lines of communication for the rest of the year.”

Many educators also find it helpful to include students in parent conferences.

L. Cavel Wilson, a middle school geography teacher, says that parents often bring their child with them to school conferences, so Wilson uses the opportunity to have the student discuss their class behavior and performance.

“During the conference, I ask the student direct questions, leading him to explain to his own parents what he is doing in the class,” Wilson says. “This takes the focus off teaching styles, content, or even communication issues and puts it squarely on the shoulders of the student, who has ultimate responsibility for his own success.”

And, more often than not, Wilson says the approach allows him to find some common ground with the parents.

“Unless there is a major behavioral problem or a moral issue at stake, you should be able to find common ground with parents — if nothing else, there is always your concern and caring for their child and your desire to help him succeed in your class and in life.”

Entice Parents into School

Retired teacher Karen Clark works as a Parent Educator in one of the Atlantic City School District’s 9 Parent Resource Centers, where she helps organize a number of district-wide programs designed to draw in and support the entire family unit.

“The goal is to try and provide a link between the school and home,” Clark says. “We really want to provide parents a place where they can feel comfortable going. We have workshops and classes for the parents, computers and fax machines they can use to apply to jobs or check their email, resources for families who have lost their homes or are in danger or losing them, and a whole bunch of other programs to support families.”

While the Parent Resource Centers are funded through Title-1 funding, there are many ways teachers can use the same basic principle in their own schools. Delynn McCash uses an informal after-school ESL course to bring students and parents into the classroom.

“Every Tuesday Night, I invite my students and their parents into my room,” McCash says. “To prepare, I borrow all the iPads I can. Students sit on one end of the room using iPads and parents are on the other side learning English on the Smartboard. They have increased PTO attendance and the students are participating in more school functions. I am out a few hours of personal time, but I gain an immensely rewarding true teaching experience and personal satisfaction.”

Visit Parents Directly

If all else fails, sometimes the best approach is to offer parents the option of meeting with you in their home. Not only will most parents appreciate the effort, but you might even learn a bit more about the lives of your students and their families.

“Home visits are the best thing I ever did,” says elementary school teacher Kathy Dowd. “I am humbled by how hard our families work, and how little they have to show for it. It makes me realize why involvement is so hard for so many of them.”

When it comes to interacting and working with parents, always consider how you would respond in their situation. Understanding is one of the keys to unlocking a successful relationship with your students’ parents.

“Think of every kid as if they were your own child,” teacher Tanya Wilson-Smith says. “What would you want for your child if he or she were facing a particular situation? Every parent loves their child, but not every parent knows how to be a parent. Be gentle, be caring, be honest, but do what you do best and educate the parent too.”

COMMENTS:

We have done live streaming of PTA meetings and Principal meetings. It was great to reach out to the parents with no babysitters or (busy making dinner or running other kids around for sports) to be able to "sit in" on the meeting from their homes and give feedback in real time.

kathy dowd | 2014/02/21

I am quoted in the home visit section, but I am an elementary, not high school teacher.

Lisa | 2013/11/16

At the charter school I teach at we are required to make parent phone calls every two weeks. It is a great way to be able to connect with parents and give them specifics on how they can help their child. There are no surprises when report cards come out. I wouldn't be comfortable texting parents and I also don't think its the most professional approach. But I do enjoy making the phone calls. Although some parents are harder to reach than others, they do enjoy the update.

Lula Moore | 2013/11/06

There are pros and cons for every issue and engaging parents is an issue. I will try a given strategy based on all concerned (students, parents, culture, etc. and me). I think there were some good strategies that worked for those who shared them and may work for others who are willing to apply them and perfect them by trying more than once.

Emily | 2013/10/21

I find the suggestion about adding notes to homework packets better suited to elementary teachers. Although I like suggestion, it simply is not plausible for a middle or high school teacher with 150 different students. Calling parents about successes with their children takes too much time, also. As Fred Jones says, we need to do things that do not take up a lot of extra time because we teachers simply do not have that kind of time.

Paula | 2013/10/21

I have found email & texting do get better responses from parents than phone calls. You do not have to give out your phone number to text. Get a free google gmail account & you can send & receive text messages from there!

Rene | 2013/10/20

I am so sorry that "No You Won't" has had such horrible parent-experiences! The audacity of the one parent to talk about your clothing! Who are these people?? Unfortunately, I have had some pretty awful parent experiences too. For some reason, these parents think that anything they say/do to teachers is acceptable. Is it because we are public servants? Do they treat firemen and postal workers this way? I do not know what the answer is but I do know it is getting worse. I have taught for 20 years and the entitled attitude of parents increases every year.

NoYouWon't | 2013/10/19

Martha, you won't "walk away" the day you don't look forward to going to work. I don't know how many years you have, but you have a retirement at stake. I have 24 years in. I don't love my job every day mostly because of the parents who don't allow me to do my job and because of their ill-mannered entitled children who bring the behavior they're allowed at home into my classroom. I teach in an affluent area where the parents think they run the show. One mom told me I had no right to ask her child to say "please" or "thank you" because it's not my job to teach her child manners or values; it's my job to give her child what she wants. On our back to school night, a mom literally hung back to tell me that she saw the dress I had on at Nordstrom and she resents that her tax dollars are paying for me to shop at Nordstrom. All this in less than 24 hours. So, let's not be silly and suggest that teachers who don't like their job should walk away. I LOVE my job, when I'm permitted to do it. This year I hate going to work because I have a very difficult crop of parents, none of whom, by the way, I'd ever give my personal cell phone number to.

nimrod | 2013/10/19

again lame lame lame NEA offerings.... education has such an outdated female wrap around mindset they don't realize their contemporaries move on to fields where they get rewards that mean something to their own families...like bonuses, travel stipends/reimbursements company cars up to date tecnology and the list goes on.... they do not have to "beg" or borrow ipads convince their "clients"
to participate.... or do home visits to make working for company xyz enticing to be a part of... you can still enjoy educating and changing lives all the while calling out the issues that drive the problems that too many educators feel they are responsible for, all the while having professional standards and self respect and without obligating yourself to see societies shortfalls as your own... shame on the NEA for using up our resources and platform that a dozen other education blogs grind out FOR FREE by the way... i have heard the same lines of "outreach" 18 years into teaching... if this is what the "century of the woman" includes then i'd rather see hermaphroditics have a say! and enough already with chevron and dot laden clip art.... it makes educators look like under-cultured, over-sugared, under-self tending care bears and not the benevolent social force it has been institutionally enshrined to embody...

Martha | 2013/10/18

I agree with Karen. By all means if you're not happy teaching please retire,quit, whatever....stop poisoning the well for those who enjoy teaching. I am so blessed to teach at a school with awesome principals, staff, and students. The day I don't look forward to going to work is the day I walk away.

Delores | 2013/10/18

Ihave "parent-teacher" meeting during my first day back from summer vacation. These meetings have been very effective in help all of us start off on the right foot. During Meet-The-Teacher event, parents do not have any privacy to share about their child or to ask you questions about you, so these meetings give them that opportunity. I use my lunch time to meet with parents and if that is not available I make other arrangements.

Mary | 2013/10/18

One way I connect with parents is a homework cover page. This page explains the homework, and there is a news section I use to tell about the class and upcoming events. I am inspired by some of the ideas here to add a photo or two. Thanks

Boundaries | 2013/10/18

I have no problem with coming up with creative ways to connect with parents, especially those in Special Education as we are legally required to have them informed and knowledgeable about services. However, I draw the line at giving out personal information such as my cell phone number. There are personal and professional boundaries that should be maintained and educators have and contine to be notorious for giving above and beyond what is reasonable in time, energy, and personal resources.

KA of Fargo, ND | 2013/10/18

I contact parents through texting on a regular basis. As was mentioned, parents often respond to texts versus phone calls and or emails. it is quick, easy and does not disrupt their day or meeting that may be going on. Having done this for a few years now, I find that the parents appreciate hearing from me and they can relay the information to their child. This is all about builiding relationships, the key to working with people!!!

Kristen | 2013/10/17

I wanted to publish a parent newsletter but I teach HS and have four classes (one prep). I wanted to send the same newsletter home to all the parents but include pictures from all four classes. Is this a privacy issue?

EJ | 2013/10/17

Linda, there are 5 sections with 2 ideas in each. 5x2=10. 10 Ideas for Engaging Parents.

Linda | 2013/10/17

This was supposed to be TEN ideas for engaging parents, but I see only FIVE. Where are the other five?

R-Angel | 2013/10/17

The suggestions in the article are great and worth trying even if it doesn't work with every parent Yellow. As a education specialist for special education students(as I am), JB, you do often feel like a target. Being prior service transitioning into teaching, I can truly relate to the emotion you expressed. However, be encourage (we all need encouragement sometimes as teachers), in battles, even if you win the war you may not win every scuffle and may not be the most popular afterward. Just never give up. As teachers, truly, we have to love our job because the target is always on us. However, isn't that true for any role in which you serve and take on "responsibility. In the teaching profession we are not shown enough appreciation from students, parents, peers, administrators, community members at large. I can relate that to the military experience as well. We are always a target as U.S. Service members and our work is not always appreciated. The things is, we don't do our job because we love being shot at but it comes with the territory. We do it because of our passion for a secure nation and continued growth, development, PAY(Let's be real), the GI Bill, other benefits and most of all freedom. As teachers , though our accolades may be few and far between, the reward of a child being successful or the one that comes back and shows you they are successful or simple wants to hang out in your room because you make them feel better as a human. Sometimes we may be the only bright light shining in there day (metaphorically speaking). To whom much is given (ability, intelligence, knowledge, authority, opportunity, etc.) much is required, especially if you teach. So what if we are targets, as you say, remember that by continuing to do well on behalf of others, if no one ever says a word of thanks or it seems no one notices, your work reaches for into the future making a difference. So, don't get weary in doing well for others, life has a funny way of bringing whatever you do back to you with dividends. May you be blessed.

Karen | 2013/10/17

Nowhere in the above write-up is there any mention of teacher blame. Teaching is, as it has always been, a selfless and underestimated job. I believe that if we are always seeking to improve ourselves and our profession we are on the right track. Involving parents is a great way to support our individual teaching with parents as volunteers, resources, and colaborators. What education needs is positive interactions and communication. If you are so miserable in teaching that you feel victimized or would rather be doing something else, then I would recommend those folks do it IMMEDIATELY... And leave education to those of us who believe that children are at the center and that the work we are doing is a benefit to learning.

JohnB | 2013/10/17

Of course, it's ALWAYS the teacher's fault no matter what. Can't wait to retire from a profession that forces you to carry a target on your back all the time. I should have stayed in the military.

Michelle | 2013/10/17

Love the idea of ESL classes in the evening! I give extra credit for getting parents to attend Meet the Teacher night. I give every parent a notecard and have them give me: student name, parent name and contact info. On the back side they get to tell me whatever they think I need to know to help their student be a success in my class. The student is NOT allowed to see it! It's created cute battles! That evening I email each parent an email so they have mine, and I thank them for attending. It's worked well for me. And I'd like to throw out that calling home on good behavior can be the most rewarding part of the job! I come home a million times more blessed than the parents! I teach 11th grade English and parents have cried and thanked me and shared such powerful things. I am humbled and so grateful for days after those calls. I do it once a semester on a particularly down day when I need to see the positive and I go home just high as a kite! I feel selfish because it's so special!

Michelle | 2013/10/17

Love the idea of ESL classes in the evening! I give extra credit for getting parents to attend Meet the Teacher night. I give every parent a notecard and have them give me: student name, parent name and contact info. On the back side they get to tell me whatever they think I need to know to help their student be a success in my class. The student is NOT allowed to see it! It's created cute battles! That evening I email each parent an email so they have mine, and I thank them for attending. It's worked well for me. And I'd like to throw out that calling home on good behavior can be the most rewarding part of the job! I come home a million times more blessed than the parents! I teach 11th grade English and parents have cried and thanked me and shared such powerful things. I am humbled and so grateful for days after those calls. I do it once a semester on a particularly down day when I need to see the positive and I go home just high as a kite! I feel selfish because it's so special!

Tina Henderson | 2013/10/17

I have done a positive comment for years. Everyday after school I call home and leave a message about one student. I make it throught the class every month. I might say, "I really like the way I saw... today. I noticed how well____ occurred. I really see progress in___." or "Ask (Johnny) about _____ tonight. He really blew me away with his great responses." Keep comments simple and short. If you call after the bell rings (in elementary school) parents often aren't home and it cuts the 10 minute phone mini-conference down, but does make a difference to the kids and the parents. Its called making a connection!

JP of Medford, MA | 2013/10/17

Anything we can do to engage parents before open houses, conferences or the dreaded IEP meetings should be considered. At the start of each school year I prepare address labels for each student to facilitate mailings or letters home. I "publish" a quarterly newsletter (thanks MS Word) and this updates parents on things like classroom expectations and policies, upcoming Special Education meetings, information and specific instructions for upcoming science projects as well as an explanation as to why science projects are an important learning experience and exactly what I hope to accomplish, a statement of my grading policy, important school calendar dates and information about how to access my daily homework blog which is available to students and parents 24-hours a day, seven-days a week from any computer anywhere in the world. My blog gives shifts the balance of power over the homework issue back to the parents and students where it belongs. E-mail contact info (my preferred method) is also featured on my newsletter. Parental response has been great!

Jody | 2013/10/17

I appreciate your suggestions. I think we all need to support and appreciate each other in our profession. Maybe don't listen to a "nimrod." :) Keep your head up, and keep trying anything and everything to make a difference! Good job!

Dani | 2013/10/17

She was offering what worked for her in her environment. If you don't want to be supportive, perhaps you shouldn't comment. I commend your efforts and the lengths you are willing to go to help your students. If not for the dedication of teachers like you, those children would fall through the cracks.

yellow | 2013/10/17

I called home to praise a student's achievement a few times and always got a, "You called to bother me with something like that?"

nimrod | 2013/10/17

right lets baby the parents now that we realize it didn"t work for the kids.... fool

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