First of all, before you read this, click the link below and read the original story, “A Day In The Life of a Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!”, by Chad. It’s in the ‘Best of’ section in the forums.

Since this is a continuation of that story, you’ll need to read the original in order to get the references I use in this story.

But now is the time, all those years of surveillance have brought them to this day...

———

Joe was just chillin’ in his barcalounger watching reruns of his favorite soap opera, “Days of Our Lives”. He does this every night before bed.

Joe finally decided to call it a night, grabs his Cheetos, brushes the dust off his 5th grade diploma sitting on the mantle, and makes his way to the bedroom.

Mom has upgraded their living conditions since the last attack. They now live in a double wide down by the river.

Joe is annoyed by the extra distance he needs to travel to get to the back bedroom. But loves that he now has his OWN bedroom and no longer has to sleep with his mom.

———

The BAMF DARK ASSASSINS move in. Millions of them (makes sense, right?). They surround the trailer and follow him to the bedroom. Now is the time to finally steal from Joe without him knowing.

They wait quietly in the shadows for Joe to lay his head on the pillow and fall asleep.

But Joe, unknowingly, has set a trap...

The Assassins make their move...

And...

CRUNCH!!!

One of them steps on a crunchy little cheese powdered puff...

Joe lifts his head off the pillow...

The BAMF DARK ASSASSINS were so terrified, that tens of thousands of them killed themselves for no apparent reason. The others are left stunned and baffled.

How can this be? These are millions of exceptionally trained spies and he is just one man, one very capable, very deadly man.

The rest of the spies retreat with their tails between their legs, discouraged and defeated.

But before they go, again they leave a note, “Yo Joe, this is (insert specific kingdoms name)’s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS. Just wanted to let you know, we tried to steal from you again. Hit us up next time you’re around, here’s our address, (insert specific kingdoms name).”

Sincerely, (insert specific kingdoms name)’s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS

Just goes to show you, it doesn’t matter how many spies you have or how well they are trained... they are no match for ‘Joe the Wandering Villager.’