It happens every day. Someone on your team is angry they were passed over for a promotion. Your peer glares at you when you don’t have their back in a meeting. Your spouse gives you that “look” because you’re late for dinner again.

About one tenth of a second later, you feel the impact in your body. “Oh crap,” you think to yourself. “I just pissed her off.”

Nice thought. But you’re wrong.

You can’t piss someone off. It’s not in your power. The person who is angry generated that emotion herself. She is responsible for the emotion. Not you.

And once you embody this understanding, your life will never be the same again.

So it’s time to stop taking responsibility for what is not rightly yours. It’s time to disown others’ emotions.

That’s the name of this Jedi Leadership Trick and the theme of this 10-minute. Listen in.

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"One of my top guys got an outside offer and was ready to leave the team. I've lost several people like this over the years. But he chose to stay. He now sees me as a manager of choice, an outcome enabled by Amiel's coaching."

“When you work with Amiel, you get someone who knows when to challenge you and when to provide support, and who creates a program that is unmistakably for you rather than generic executive X. We worked together during a pivotal time in my organization’s history, when a crisis hit and our people needed a clear sense of direction and a compelling story to grab onto. Amiel helped me create both. Perhaps best of all, his support helped me renew my commitment to bringing my full energy to work each day and ensuring the rest of our people could do the same."

"Amiel, I have deeply appreciated your friendship, coaching, and guidance over the last few years. Our work together has changed me in the way that pervades everything that I do in my life. You have had a way of letting me learn for myself, which is very important when dealing with someone as strong-headed as me. I thank you for understanding the complexity of life and for listening deeply, something that very few people do."

"My favorite moment in sailing occurs when the sails are up, my course is set, and I lift my hand from the helm to find the boat is balanced. In that moment, I have achieved a zen-like balance where the heavens, wind, and water are in perfect harmony while I leverage them to get where I am going. Amiel revealed the secret that enabled me to create a similar harmony at work for myself and the people I work with. Just as I leveraged the environment in sailing, I now leverage my strengths in a bigger way and speak about the innovations we are creating with passion and authenticity. Now I am making large strides in preserving the environment I sail in, not just for me now but the future."

"The year I worked with Amiel was one of the most transformational in my adult life. With Amiel’s support, I learned to do three things that I (and my staff) didn’t at first think possible: slow down enough to truly listen to others’ ideas, empower my staff to succeed, and smile—a lot! The regular live shadowing and Amiel’s forthright feedback made a particularly big difference for me and for my team. I couldn’t recommend Amiel more highly."

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Featured Testimonials

“When you work with Amiel, you get someone who knows when to challenge you and when to provide support, and who creates a program that is unmistakably for you rather than generic executive X. We worked together during a pivotal time in my organi...

Rick C.Senior Fellow and General Manager, Fortune 100 company

“Amiel, I have deeply appreciated your friendship, coaching, and guidance over the last few years. Our work together has changed me in the way that pervades everything that I do in my life. You have had a way of letting me learn for myself, whic...