San Clemente might examine program for memorials, tributes

People in San Clemente who want to remember a loved one with a bench, a tree or something else in a city park may soon have a city-sponsored Tribute Program listing ways to get such a memorial in place.

The city’s recreation staff has worked up the framework for a program designed to get a handle on requests from families that have been handled case by case and have presented challenges, said Sharon Heider, director of beaches, parks and recreation. Those challenges include:

•Families pay for the donated item, but subsequent costs to the city can pile up.

•Most people want an ocean-view site, so coastal areas have ample benches, while areas that need benches go wanting.

•The designs aren’t as consistent as they could be.

•The process is inefficient, as staff, dealing with grieving families, is asked by multiple people for site visits, customization, changes and dates for installation.

•There have been complaints that high concentrations of tribute items make the city look like a cemetery.

•A damaged item can be replaced at the family’s expense, but there is no limit on how long it can be there, leading donors to feel they control a location forever.

Those observations led the Beaches, Parks and Recreation Commission to vote Tuesday night to recommend that the city set up a formal program with ground rules for tributes.

NOT ALL AGREE

The vote was 6-1. Commissioner Michael Smith said he would prefer a “gifting” program naming the donor family without a memorial message. Smith said the city is not a cemetery and, though he has lost a lot of loved ones, he feels families should find other ways to remember them.

Other commissioners said the program could celebrate accomplishments, not just remember the deceased.

Commissioner Tom Wicks said he has never heard anyone say coastal benches have the look of a cemetery. “I get inspiration from reading some of these things,” he said.

Five residents spoke in support of the program, including some who have asked the city to let them buy a bench or another item, only to be told the program was on hold.

RESIDENTS SHARE FEELINGS

Diane Tavarez, who lost her brother in the past year, said she wouldn’t want the city to resemble a mausoleum but that it could set up a registry for things such as swing sets.

Mary Russell, whose son died in an accident, said she is happy that the city may formalize a program, saying miles of hiking trails could use benches. The need for memorials reflects the lack of a cemetery in town, she said.

“I don’t look at it as death,” said Dustin Brady, whose fiancée died of breast cancer. “Without death, there isn’t life.”

Gina Cousineau, who lost her son to a genetic disease, told how she donated money to name the San Clemente Aquatics Center’s entryway for her son. “If I had $3 million, it would be called the Evan Cousineau Aquatics Center,” she said.

Commissioner John Bandaruk said he supports the program but feels it will need guidelines on what goes where and how to determine priorities. “There’s going to be some jealousies,” he said.

WHAT’S NEXT

If the City Council likes the idea, commissioners would form a committee to work up details.