People are suspicious because they may be afraid you are going to try to claim some land that their family may have assumed in the absence of the emigrant.
It would be important to reassure them that you are not interested in any land or portion your family may be entitled to in Italy. That you are proud to be Italian and want to learn more about the beautiful land and heritage your ancestor had to abandon so many years ago.
I wouldn't send $5.00. If you are going to send money send Euro (cash) and ask them to say a mass for the family. (about 20 euro). This could be expensive if you are writing to several families. Alternately send the money to the priest and ask him if any of his parishioners are related to you. You might also send also a photo of your family (looking prosperous with the house in the background indicating that you don't need anything from them).

So maybe a indirect approach as suggested by sending a photo , this is a very interesting topic and I hope we get more opinions especially if they have had success in getting a response from their potential relatives

The whole idea is to approach a potential relative so why all the evasion since to satisfy their suspicions, especially from abroad, you must rely of the credulity of your letter. And what makes people think priests are going to be enthusiastic about assisting you since they will need "a donation" for whatever is asked of them as you well know. Sometimes you just have to trust in people's judgement. I suggested $5.00 since the US dollar is only worth 75 cents in Italy and stamps cost more than a dollar. If they are related to you they will be able to read the contents of your letter and will k now who you are talking about or not..and if they mistrust you then find another "cousin". =Peter=

I agree with Italysearcher's message except on the money part. I would never send money to a potential relative in fear of offending them, even if it's intended for the priest. I don't think money is the determining factor on getting a reply. If the potential relative wants to make a connection with their cousins, they will answer and what you say on that letter is far more important than including money.

I know that my relatives in Palermo were elated to receive, some 20 years ago, that first letter with a picture of my grandfather with his mom and siblings. Had we sent money, they would have thought that their American cousins thought of them as being in a tight financial situation where they couldn't afford a postal stamp. For the last nine years I have visited them every year and to this date they have never accepted any money, not even an euro, to cover any expense they incur while I'm there.

Hey, John, make sure to include your e-mail address. When I included my e-mail address, my Italian cousins wrote back to me right away. The older relatives without e-mail asked younger ones to write for them via e-mail. I wrote one letter with no e-mail address and received no reply. Do include a photograph of yourself to show good faith and potential family resemblance. My cousins were struck by the resemblance. I would not send $ for stamps either.

Just be sincere with your true reasons for looking for them. My Italian cousins and I have been in touch constantly since the first letters. If they are suspicious, they will verify the relationship on their end, so give them as much facts and names as you know.

Poipuo4 wrote:Hey, John, make sure to include your e-mail address. When I included my e-mail address, my Italian cousins wrote back to me right away. The older relatives without e-mail asked younger ones to write for them via e-mail. I wrote one letter with no e-mail address and received no reply. Do include a photograph of yourself to show good faith and potential family resemblance. My cousins were struck by the resemblance. I would not send $ for stamps either.

Just be sincere with your true reasons for looking for them. My Italian cousins and I have been in touch constantly since the first letters. If they are suspicious, they will verify the relationship on their end, so give them as much facts and names as you know.

I just received this from a former co worker who was raised in Sicily...it seems to make sense but does address the land issue...

lilbees wrote:Anyone have a transcription of this paragraph. Sounds interesting.

lilbees

First of all I would like to start my letter explaining to you that I am simply interested in completing my family history, and if possible, traveling to Sicily one day to see the country of my ancestors. I do not have any intention to claim some land or properties in Italy, it is just an interest in knowing better my history.

​Why is it difficult for most persons to read a Latin document? You may think that it is because they never studied Latin in school. The real answer is that some of the words appear unfamiliar to you. On the positive side, you probably already know enough Latin words to pick out a few of them in a d...

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