Tag Archives: goals

After last week’s unexpected disconnect-to-reconnect week in Mexico, I have tried not to let old habits creep back in. But scarily, it’s so easily has, but I have caught myself and just put.it.down. And walked away.

Reset.

M actually wrote a post on this very topic as he gets back into blogging and some other goals for himself and this topic was something we talked about a lot last week during our time together, focused on just us, those around us, and the breathtaking surroundings. Hitting the reset button.

Looking at our lives, the current season of our life, and taking a fresh look, resetting goals, refreshing our routines and focusing on simplicity. Harnessing that as much as possible (as hard as that is more often than I care to admit, even though it is what I want most – simplicity! balance!).

Part of that is letting go of feeling the need to be connected to everything and everyone so much. Paring that back. Focusing on those that matter, not broadening so much that it becomes quantity over quality. Focusing on those I love, the friends and family that mean the most, and not trying to be everything to everyone.

Part of that is looking at my routine – every aspect and reviving and rejuvinating it. Letting go of what doesn’t matter, in the grand scheme, that the house look perfectly neat allthetime, and realizing that sometimes letting go of that ‘need’ will mean less anxiety and less undue stress. (silly, I know, but it happens to me too much!) Looking at my fitness routine and going back to smarter, not harder, and staying at peace with food, harnessing mindfulness while eating, running and b9’ing ‘happy’ (if that makes sense!). And part of that is thinking about my next goal, and finding a smart way to weave it into my ‘refreshed’ routine. (because part of refreshing the routine means making room for the next goal…at least for me…without sacrificing balance).

Almost exactly two yearsto the day since my first half marathon (that was, in my mind, botched).

Just over a year since my second half marathon (that proved that I am *not* a racer).

I finally proved to myself that I can run 13.1…my own way, in a time that I knew I could (yet never quite achieved in aforementioned half marathon race environments!).

It was my do-over that I have had in the back of my mind ever since that botched second attempt at a half marathon.

And I did it with no fanfare, no stated goal, nothing. (just a few quiet sherpas pushing me along – thank you ladies, you are truly, truly the best. Especially that 5:30 am text message from this one, who I love so!)

Because that’s how I roll.

Some say a goal isn’t ‘real’ until you write it down.

I call bullshit on that and say a goal is a goal no matter if it’s on paper or not.

So, I give you…13.1…my way.

***

Up we woke, at 5:30, pitch black, but thankfully, relatively warm (57 degrees), clear skies, no rain (windswept rain in the forecast for tonight and tomorrow, egad!).

Out the door by 6 am, and it was still dark, and honestly, that first mile in almost darkness felt so bad ass, I loved it! (though I was straining my eyes to find bunnies, since I knew it would be prime time for them!)

I probably went out a little too fast, feeling all bad ass and stuff (LOL), and after the second or third mile, I started to go into mental brain mode, but a spate of 6 bunny sightings perked me up.

I started to break the run up in my head into pieces, and just think of the next ‘spot’ along the route I’d created that I would be happy at, while chanting ‘let the run come to you’ (also a la this girl!) and ‘run the mile you’re in’ over and over in my head.

Somewhere around mile 7 or 8, I started hitting a wall. Too early, in my book, and I started to wonder if last week’s 12 mile redemption run would be my best run of this ‘secret’ training and this one would soon turn shittastic.

Well, it didn’t hit the shittastic zone, but there were a few miles in there that I was thisclose to a bit of a hissy fit. My legs felt so.tired. And I stupidly (in hindsight) wore my new replacement Brooks Ghost 4s (thinking – same shoe – shouldn’t matter that I haven’t worn them yet) and was feeling blisters forming. On. Both. Ankles.

A different fueling strategy (one Honey Stinger around the one hour mark, a Healthy Bite a la this girl around the 8 or 8.5 mile mark, and one more Honey Stinger around mile 11, with water, of course) seemed to helped, but I just kept burning out fast.

Saving grace was a bit of a walk ‘stop’ as M got two pages (did I mention he was on call last night and this morning? trooper, my sherpa, isn’t he?) and I tried to talk myself down. I was again, thisclose to hissy fit status and almost wanted to cut out the little loop add-on I added to get us to 13.1 (reasoning that 12.8 was ‘close enough’ even though I knew I’d be pissed at myself after). What did M say to that?

“We are running 13.1 miles today. If we don’t do that loop, I’d call that a fail, wouldn’t you?” <-man, does he know how to turn my mental wacked brain back on to myself, doesn’t he?!

After that tough love talk, we powered through the last of our run, two bloody heels and all, and did it. Stopped, held hands, caught our breathe and realized we did it….

On the very first day of summer, I thought it would be fitting to think about the good ‘ole summer bucket list. I tend to do these every year but this time, I thought I’d do a twist on my summer bucket list (from last year; and here is the ‘how I did’ post) with my fun date bucket list and see where I stand on both, for the summer already (since summer, to me, officially started back in May hehe).

Make every weekend (and some weeknights too!) Sunday Funday: Summer means longer days and longer nights, open windows, and energy, energy, energy. Rather than relegate Sunday Funday to ‘just’ one day, or to the weekend, I have been digging making it a weekly occurrence. At least once a week, I vow to make dinner a little extra special, a glass of wine or sparkling water in a wine glass, the patio, and some tunes. Nothing better.

Spend a weekend on the Cape. Another item that was on my summer bucket list last year, but we never went. We are eyeing late July…hopefully we can make it happen this year!! or bust!

Run with *just* a sports bra and shorts on. This one scares me. I know my sis has this on her list too…because we vowed to do this together! And I cannot wait. As scary as it feels, I think it will feel freeing and triumphant! (I also think a run through a sprinkler is warranted…#justsayin)

Read more books. I have several that I am wanting to finish and/or read, but have been reading magazines that are piling up, instead. But there is nothing better than a book by the lake/pool/beach.

Build a sandcastle. At the beach, I always painstakingly avoid getting sandy. So type A and silly. Let’s get sandy, yo!

Watch fireworks. For some reason, I always say I’ll go watch fireworks for the Fourth of July, but never do. But then wish I did. So I must do this, this year!

Take every opportunity possible to go to the beach, lake, or pool. Enough said.

Go to a strip club. Yep, I’m serious. <–This is from my date night list. Done. Yep. Already did this one this summer! (but may need a redo…ahem, sis)

Go to a Red Sox game this summer. This MUST happen. There is nothing more SUMMER than going to a game.

barre n9ne for one…on the dock in Maine. Just me, the lake glistening, and silence. Perfection.

Fly a kite. M looked at me funny when I suggested this. But I think it would be fun. <–this is from my date bucket list – it would TOTALLY be fun to do while picnic-ing, no??

Go on a picnic! Wine, cheese, fruit. Yes, please. <–Also from my date bucket list – did this one too! but want to do this one as much as possible this summer!

Go to the zoo! Seriously, the zoo in the summer? How fun?

Pick berries. Any and all. Strawberries, blueberries, and (not a berry…) apples!

Catch a concert on the Esplanade. And hopefully on a boat 😉

Find a field, lay in the grass and watch the stars. *bliss*

I could probably go on for hours with ideas, but I’ll leave it at this list. There is just nothing better than summer, I am convinced. And in part because summer is so short here in New England, comparatively, that while I am trying to simplify, it’s hard not to want to cram as much as possible into every waking moment!

Cheers to summer…and a whole lot of sundrenched days and starlit nights ❤

Like this:

This past weekend, beyond being of epic proportions, was a real eye-opener to me in terms of perception. On the ‘real’ me vs. the ‘blog’ me. It was the very first time I had met ‘blog friends’ that thought I was different in person than on my blog. Not by a massive amount, but just in terms of my demeanor. More reserved, ‘not as woohoo!’ (T’s words! Hehe), than perhaps I come across here.

And that got me thinking…who *is* the real me?

In true stream-of-conscious form, this is me…in real life and on my blog.

I’m happy, by nature. I strive for it, sure, but naturally? I am just a happy person. And I strive to be around happy, positive people. Debbie Downers need not apply.

I’m a giver and a ‘feeder’…the older I get, the more I do as my Nonna did, and ‘feed with love’ and give, with love too.

I’m a worrier. I worry if everyone is having fun if I am hosting a party. I worry about my job, about where I am going with it. I worry about my runs (clearly). I worry about teaching barre n9ne (and bringing it, every single time). But I temper that with de-emphasizing overthinking. I call it worrying checks and balances. I worry ‘just enough’ to keep things in check.

I’m a lover. But I find it hard to show sometimes. I cocoon. I’m not as outward with it as much as I’d like to, or as much as I write about here.

I’m a laugher. I love to laugh till my face hurts. At bad jokes. And good ones. And when I’m nervous. And at random times when I realize after, that may not have been that funny, or appropriate timing (meh, oh well).

I’m way too stuck in my routine for my own good. I seriously stress about it far too often. I can’t settle until the house is clean. Laundry is put away. If I’m traveling, clothes are unpacked. Or if I am caught up on all of my emails. Or work. And to’do’s. (there is something to be said for throwing routine out the window…though I think it would scare the shit out of me to do far too much…I talk a good game about doing it, but deep down, routine makes me happy.)

I’m a doer and a goal-maker. I don’t feel quite ‘right’ unless I am doing something and working towards a goal. But sometimes it gets the best of me and I just feel burnt. (kind of feeling that way now, actually.)

I’m an overachiever. See above. 😉

I can see the good in just about any bad situation. It’s my puppies and rainbows side coming out like whoa.

I can be shy. I don’t like to be the center of attention. In fact, I usually hate it.

I can also be loud and funny. It’s weird how I can be shy but also loud, isn’t it?

I’m honest. I’m real. I’m me. Sometimes quiet, sometimes reserved, sometimes ‘in my own head.’ But sometimes willing to step out of my comfort zone and tap a toe on the edgier side. It may not be the edgy side that others define edgy as, but for me? If it makes me uncomfortable, it’s probably edgy (for me!).

And at the core of it? Nothing makes me much happier than being surrounded by happy, loving people all having a good time together. And in those instances? I just sit back, laugh, and breathe it all in.

If someone asked you who you are, who are you? The real you? In all of your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between?

We are nearing the end of my 6-month run challenge, and as I recap the past few weeks, I’m purposely trying to save my final thoughts under the ‘official’ 6-month mark, because I think the next couple week’s worth of running will still give me plenty more to ruminate over.

However.

After declaring that I am running less for mileage and more for joy, and doing a run-speriment to purposely try and run on the freshest legs I can, whenever possible, I have noticed a difference in my runs and a release in my brain (yet again) of the pressure I self-inflict on myself to perform. This run-speriment and run challenge overall has nothing to do with performance. Why? Because I am not performing against anyone or anything. I am simply running for me, and seeing what I can do to refocus my mind on the enjoyment of the run, on focused, calm breathing, and on steady, happy, consistent runs, as much as possible.

It’s when I slide into worry about a bad run, or that I’m struggling more than I think I should, or when I get frustrated that running just doesn’t come as naturally to me as I would like it to, that I start to allow the overthinking to creep in. The overthinking that I’ve worked so damn hard to break away from.

But lately? I’ve reallyreallyreally shut my brain off, not thought about how many runs I want to get into a given week (until that week starts), nor thought about mileage as much. I’ve simply run to run, to move, to sweat, and to enjoy each run as much as possible.

It is starting to feel like a run-volution(<–like that? a riff on ‘evolution?’ Ok I am a dork, what can I say?) of sorts. And I am really digging it. I actually caught myself smiling as I ran with M yesterday. And realized my mind was wandering on things other than my run. Gasp! Is it really working? Am I really running for fun and actually *having* fun?

I do believe I am.

And I sure as hell hope this continues. Because as my mind wanders, it starts to go back to the ‘what-if’s’ – the what if ‘this sticks’ and what if I naturally start to again want to run longer, explore my limits again? Well, my friends, the sky is the limit. And I will always be the first one to say ‘never say never’ to any of that.

And that’s what I love most about running. The constant run-volution. The constant ‘why I run’ answer (it’s always evolving, er, run-volving, and I LOVE that, as my sis pointed out too!). The constant growth, change, motivation.

It’s why I never stop. It’s why I will keep forging on. It’s why I am always looking for that breakthrough moment. I feel it could very well be near. And I hope it is. Either way? I am running for fun. And it feels simply great.

~~

Well, friends, I am off to Atlanta today for the Digital Summit. A quick two-day trip, flying home Thursday night. These are the trips I like. Quick, same time zone, and about social media? Bring it on. AND as a huge bonus? I get to attend the conference WITH Lee from In My Tummy (who actually mentioned this conference to me, thank you!) and Tina from Best Body Fitness. I won’t lie…I am most excited about meeting them both, and a close second is actually attending the conference and social-media-geeking-out 😉