Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Sixteen Shots to the Dome

PYB in with some very quick jabs today:

--Dwyane Wade: Are words even necessary? PYB was not aware of this until Inside the NBA on TNT played it early this morning. We think that the day that dressing like a pussy and carrying a white bag to a playoff game is cool, is the day that sports is no longer for us...

--Sergio Garcia: How does a PGA Tour golfer make the decision he made on the seventeenth hole Sunday, trailing by just one shot?

--Tiger Woods:Cheated on his drop after dunking his tee shot on the 14th at Sawgrass. Special rule exercised for his drop at the Masters in April. Allegedly didn't see his tee shot this past week and put the onus on his competitor, Casey Wittenberg, to bail him out. If you don't believe us, take it from other pros. Sketchy = the motherfucker just blatantly cheated on national television, but I don't want to get punished by the Tour by saying anything more.

Hell, a wedding vow didn't stop ETW from plowing half the women in Florida, why would a few wooden stakes mean anything to him? Finally, the guy who made the video on the link above, showing Woods cheating, is a loser. Feel free to shower, remove the hat, button your shirt and ease up on surmising what the television commentators would have said had the ball crossed the hazard at said points.

--Carmelo Anthony:Losing out to a team that plays together, plays defense, plays intelligently, shares the ball. Can't believe it.

--Kansas: Signed the top high school basketball prospect in the country yesterday. Will this help the Jayhawks choke better next March?

--Alex Lewis: Beat the shit out of someone a couple days after deciding to transfer from Colorado to NU. Can he block somebody? Doubtful, if the Huskers wanted him. Either way, we have to hand it to him for his drinking prowess: 10 beers, 6 glasses of wine and two shots. Even Jalen Rose thinks that's impressive.

Maybe the kid is tough, if the story about his dad (Bill Lewis) is true -- the one where he told Barry Bonds he'd beat the shit out of him if he cut in front of his group on the tee box at a Phoenix-area golf course. Per the radio story we heard: Bonds pulled up to the first tee, right ahead of Lewis and his playing partners, pretending he didn't see any of them. Bonds finally said: "Do you mind if we go ahead?" Lewis allegedly said: "Go ahead, but it's the last thing you'll ever do." At that point, Bonds pulled up his tee & waited for Lewis and company to tee off. Must have been skinny, mustachioed Barry.

But, who are we to spread rumors? We'll damn sure do it if it reminds us of days when toughness used to be synonymous with Nebraska football.