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5 Ways Masterminds and Small Groups Will Take You to Another Level

Several years ago my wife, Stephana, and I were having a prolonged disagreement that was getting on the verge of destroying our relationship. We just couldn’t resolve it no matter what we tried.

Finally I couldn’t take it and I left our apartment, not knowing where I was going or when I was coming back. When I finally came to my senses (realizing I really had nowhere to go), I came home.

To my surprise, and my frustration, the first thing I saw when I walked in the door was one of my best friends sitting in our living room floor wearing my basketball shorts! As I walked down the hallway shaking my head I could hear the chatter between Stephana and my friend’s wife quiet a little.

Sometimes somebody needs to intervene

What I quickly realized was an “intervention” was taking place, a marriage intervention, and I was the last to know about it. Our friends, through the wives’ conversation, realized we were in a serious situation in our relationship, and they were going to do whatever they could to help.

So, they drove from their house about 45-50 minutes away (in another city) to intervene. I believe they literally left work and came straight to our house (which is why he didn’t have any clothes to lounge in) and camped out. And over 10 years later, both Stephana and I are thankful they did!

Had we not developed such a close friendship, through the small group we were a part of, that would have never happened. They wouldn’t have driven almost an hour, and I may have thought something completely different coming home to see my friend wearing my basketball shorts chillin’ in my living room!

The bond created through small groups and masterminds

We forged a relationship that was tight as brothers and sisters through that small group and a couple others we were part of. Stephana and I have said time and time again, if it wasn’t for the small groups we were a part of we may not still be married, at least our marriage wouldn’t be where it is today.

Small groups, just like mastermind groups for your personal and career development, can be the difference in you making it or not. Being part of groups like this can help propel you to the next level in marriage, your personal life, as well as your professional life. I am a HUGE proponent of small groups and masterminds.

Here are five reasons you should be a part of a mastermind or small group.

You learn from one another. If you get a group of people or couples together there are going to be a multitude of skills, experiences, strengths and weaknesses. This gives you the opportunity to learn from someone else who knows more than you or is more effective in certain areas, and vice versa.

You have built in accountability partners. The story I opened with was an example of this. We couldn’t work out our difference, so our friends stepped in. I couldn’t do dumb stuff like leave and not come home without my friend, my accountability brother, being there to share truth in love and get me back on the right track. When you are part of groups like this you must step up or be held accountable for it.

You solve problems during brainstorm sessions. The masterminds I’m part of now are where most of my problems are solved. Either somebody has gone through and come out on the other side, or through our brainstorm, we come to a solution to whatever is stumping me. It’s a beautiful thing and without this, I’d be nowhere near where I’m at today in my career.

You grow and develop great relationships. In our small groups, we’ve met people that are now lifelong friends. Through my masterminds, I’ve developed friendships that not only benefit my career and business but also transcend into great personal relationships, although we’ve never met in person. I have a friend with almost half-a-million Facebook followers and if I ask him to share something I’ve written that I want to reach a larger audience, it is done. He’ll do it without hesitation. We freely support each other’s work and are there when needed.

You create natural partnerships. One of our early small groups, while they were personal relationships, ended up in our first business venture, as three of us formed a business partnership. My masterminds are leading to joint ventures, to shared speaking platforms, and other collaborations which leverage our experiences, platforms, and resources to reach common goals. It’s like the “holy grail” of masterminding and small groups.

Grow stronger and get better with your own mastermind or small group

If you are not part of a small group or mastermind, whether that is a couples’ small group, a dads’ or moms’ small group, a platform builders’, writers’, speakers’, or entrepreneurs’ mastermind, I strongly urge you to do so.

Begin looking today, reach out to people you admire and would like to grow a relationship with, reach out to peers on your level, and even reach out to people you may be able to help. Your growth and development will benefit in a major way.

Question: What would being part of a small group or mastermind do for you today? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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I read this a few weeks ago and had to come back. This topic is a brother to another recent post you had on developing your inner circle of relationships.Over the past 6 months, I have applied the Master Mind as you wonderfully lay out and it has been invaluable. Once I had 2 or 3 key inner circle guys, we started rolling. Each phone call could last for hours if we allow them. We get lost in the creative.

I’ve been in multiple masterminds, and all but two have been online. Some of my masterminds we’ve never met in person. You can connect with your old group via video chat (Skype, Google Hangouts, etc), or by phone. Or you can find/create a new group and meet online or phone.

Fortunately, technology today keeps us connected, so we can benefit from these things no matter the physical distance.

Hi Jackie, a wonderful post I must say. I have a question. I absolutely agree with the idea of being part of a group solely because of the potential of sharing and learning from different peoples experiences but my question is, To what extent do you share information with the group given that there is a need to keep certain things private between the husband and wife?

That’s a comfort level thing, but any small group or mastermind there has to be an agreement that all things shared in the group are confidential. You have to have a certain level of trust for it to be effective.

The time that trust takes to develop depends on the make up of the group. Over time our small groups and masterminds have become very transparent. And to this day I’ve yet to experience anything that has violated the trust of my wife or the people in the groups.

jeffnsofor

Thanks a lot Jackie. Makes loads of sense. By the way, thanks for the follow on Instagram.

It’s very interesting to read and process what you are sharing. However in my case we don’t have time to explore those group options and we both are likely to share very little about our struggles. I read and attempt to apply your sound recommendations but do yiy believe you ever come to a point where you have to admit to both of yourselves it is done. I have been to that point, she has been to that point and sometimes I feel like I’m weak or a coward to not allow myself to set her free. Marriage is certainly work and I haven’t given up but at some point, just like in sports, fatigue takes over

We have been there…so, you aren’t the only couple, and you aren’t the only husband with those thoughts and feelings. My suggestion is not to isolate yourself. If you can’t share among a small/peer group, you may consider counseling. I’m a big proponent of counseling in good and bad times.

About Me

I lost my job, and my family was homeless, yet I learned some valuable lessons from it all, which I now write and speak about. My words are in The Huffington Post, All Pro Dad, The Good Men Project, and Disney's Babble.

My new book, The 7 Rings of Marriage, releases February 1, 2016, and comes highly recommended by many, including #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman.

My goal is to help you better lead and love your family, so you can have a lasting and fulfilling marriage, and meaningful influence on your kids.