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Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Convention 4

Publication: FHM

Issue: February 2005

The standard model “guy” is
a pretty straightforward being. When we tell our lady to shut her trap so we
can watch some footie, it means just that. There are no hidden messages
whatsoever. And it certainly does not mean, “Honey, now is the best time
to talk about where this relationship is going.” But as we’ve stressed
oh-so-many times in the pages of this very magazine, women on the other hand,
are not so much into this business of being straightforward. The word “fine”
for example, could mean a million and one things, and it is way better to have
all your limbs chopped off by a mega-powered chainsaw than have a woman say the
dreaded word to you.

So this month if your girl
mutters, “We don’t really need to celebrate Valentine’s Day if you don’t want
to,” don’t take it as your cue to jump for joy and spend all the cash on Star
Wars Lego. Why? Because there is simply no chance in hell that she actually
means it, plus it will take you forever to build one stupid Millennium
Falcon.

If anything, it’s simply a
test to see if you’re really the sensitive and caring dreamboat that you’ve
been pretending to be, or if you’re just, well, a guy. So what do you do?If
you really dig the chick – and third base is a great possibility – we recommend
you sell all your worldly possessions and spend it all on that one special day.
And to help your cause, we’ve got some pretty good V-Day gift ideas on pages 98
and 99. After all, third base is a pretty damn good thing.

Read the above Editor’s Letter and
highlight all of the examples of the editor being chatty and informal, as well as examples of the
editor using a direct mode of
address (using “you” or “your”)