JOURNAL

When you step into marriage, there are a lot of unspoken rules that need to be fleshed out in order for you to function well together.

Sometimes those rules come out in a civil way through a low-volume conversation while holding hands. Other times they come out in the middle of an argument like this: "Well, at least I know how to clean a toilet because I didn't grow up spoiled!"

*Disclaimer: All examples and dialogue in "Husband Rule" posts are, of course, hypothetical.

Anyway, one of the first COMPLETELY foreign-to-me rules to slap me in the face in my relationship with Presley was the Get-One-Give-One Concept.

When you get one of something, you give away one of that same something. Seems simple to some, but like chopping off an arm to others.

It started fairly small, with clothes. In college, I had a bit of a clash between my new discretionary funds via scholarships and two jobs and my excess amount of free time. Solution? Shopping. Because the beginning of our married life involved fewer funds, and also quite a bit of free time, I had no problem purging my closet. However, knowing Presley, I knew to keep a small cushion of clothes to account for the Get-One-Give-One Concept. I realize that logic totally defeats the minimalistic mindset, but it worked.

But, Y'ALL. Then we started to go for the jugular.

My mug collection.

So I've come to a few conclusions.

When this rule makes sense:

When you get a complimentary mug for attending a church function.

When literally everyone gets you a mug as a present.

When students mean well by getting you a mug full of chocolate, but all you feel compelled to keep is the chocolate.

When mugs don't fit in your current cabinets or kitchen.

You see, these scenarios leave plenty of cushion for artful mug-curating, practical use of space, and minimal snipping of the heart-string connection between certain receptacles and memories.

When this rule certainly does not make sense:

When your mug collection has become so curated, that the only options for giveaway are cute mugs from your cute friends, or the Mickey mug that's been in your family since lip smackers were a thing.

When people know you so well, that they nail the gift (a mug) and your style.

When you need more mugs to fill your new open shelving in your coffee bar.

When you get a bigger kitchen, and thereby can have more people over simultaneously for coffee. OF COURSE, you need more mugs!

There are also a few ways around this rule:

Keep a not-so-great mug under the promise of giving it away when you take your next load to Goodwill. Then, since you hardly ever go to Goodwill, use that as a trading mug, without anybody noticing.

Keep a new mug at school as a pen-holder! Genius, Jess.

So, everyone, I want to hear! What are some crazy hidden rules from your Husband, or spouse?