Jon iz teh kewl:i thought Apple Maps had problems initially but they got it all fixed up like 4 days later. then Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno are still making jokes about it for the next 5 months

I thought the whole antenna issue was fixed if I just told people to hold it like a tard.I thought we never needed 4G anyway.I thought 7-inch tablets were useless unless you include sandpaper so users can sand their fingers down to a quarter of their size.

He has "the Knowledge". He knows where every child in the world is and what he or she is doing, whether naughty or nice. He can triangulate using "the Knowledge" and thus never has to consult a map except maybe over the Pacific, where there are few children, and Antarctica, where there are no children.

That headline makes no sense, it isn't even a real math equation. Besides, you only say "You do the math" after you throw a whole bunch of numbers that aren't related at someone and hope they will just blindly accept what you just said because they'd otherwise actually do the math and find out you were lying the whole time.