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Requirements
To qualify to become an idiot, a character must fulfill all of the following criteria.

Base Attack Bonus
+5

Special
Intelligence <8

Class Features
All of the following are Class Features of the idiot prestige class.

Drooling Idiot (Sp)
Slippery drool constantly runs down the chin of the idiot, a sign of his near-mindlessness. If the idiot remains in one square for a full round, all squares adjacent to him are treated as if affected by a Grease spell. This effect lasts for one round after the idiot has moved away. The idiot is immune to the effect created by his own drool.

Blithering Idiot (Su)
The idiot can begin spouting out strings of nonsensical rantings and exclamations once per day as a free action. All creatures (other than idiots) within a 60-foot spread must succeed on a Will save (DC 12 + Cha mod) or be affected as though by a confusion spell for 1d2 rounds. This is a sonic mind-affecting compulsion effect. A creature that successfully saves cannot be affected by the same idiot's blithering for 24 hours.

Stumble through Life (Ex)
The idiot can somehow make it through life based on what appears to be dumb luck. From now on, the idiot uses the absolute value of his intelligence modifier as the modifier for his intelligence-based skills and checks.

Braindead (Ex)
Somehow, the idiot is able to survive on little to no brain activity. He is constantly affected as though by a Mind Blank spell. He is also immune to all mind-affecting spells and abilities.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Well, here is a repost of the first of my "Acid Class"es. I hope itsn't too overboard for this thread.

Friends! Enemies! Road-kill in various degrees of flatness! I must call your attention to a dire problem which could cause these forums to fall apart into uselessness... the administrators, are, of course, partially to blame, and after we have concluded our business here we shall form a lynch mob to deal with them, however since they probably only failed to notice this insidious problem because they were too concerned with such short term goals as keeping flamers out and looking after Tears of Blood and such, I firmly believe we should make their deaths RELATIVELY quick and painless... but the core problem needs dealing with first, and it really would be in our hands to do so even if the administrators had noticed the problem... because it was ultimately US who caused it. More specifically the Homebrewers! The occasional posting of Base Classes may have seemed harmless enough... and indeed it was to begin with... but now things have gone TOO FAR... we are approaching a danger zone of high pH! the caustic nature of the forums could eat away at its very structure if something is not done! We need some Acid Classes, some classes on serious Acid, to counteract this effect before it is too late! I have made a start, but this work is still incomplete. Only with the help of the other forum members can this task be completed and the forums saved! (And then we can go lynch people in celebration...)Rethgif
{table=head]Level| Acid Attack Bonus | Fort Save | Ref Save | Will Save* |Special
1st|

+1

|

+12

|

+1d20

|

+7

|Acid Damage
2nd|

+2.1

|

+11

|

+1d20

|

+8

|
3rd|

+3.14159...

|

+11

|

+1d20

|

+8

|Acid Flashback
4th|

+4+6i

|

+10

|

+1d20

|

+9

|Turn to Undead
5th|

+(x^2)+2x+1

|

+10

|

+1d20

|

+9

|Acid Tongue
6th|

+(some number)

|

+9

|

+1d20

|

+10

|Remove Ease 1/week
7th|

+154 hours

|

+9

|

+1d20

|

+10

|Class Ability I
8th|

+x

|

+8

|

+1d20

|

+11

|Eyebrows of the Sun and the Moon
9th|

+(How should I know?!?)

|

+8

|

+1d20

|

+11

|Remove Ease 2/week
10th|

+(Count your toes...)

|

+7

|

+1d20

|

+12

|Acid Rock
11th|

+(You aren't cleared for that information)

|

+7

|

+1d20

|

+7

|
12th|

+squirrel

|

+6

|

+1d20

|

+6

|Remove Ease 3/week
13th|

=23

|

+6

|

+1d20

|

+6

|Timeless Body
14th|

+badger/+badger/+badger

|

+5

|

+1d20

|

+5

|Damage Reduction 42/Others and Intentionally
15th|

+badger/ +badger/ +badger/ +mushroom

|

+5

|

+1d20

|

+5

|Class Ability II, Remove Ease 4/week
16th|

+badger/ +badger/+badger/+mushroom/ +mushroom

|

+4

|

+1d20

|

+4

|Absolute invulnerabilty (1/3)
17th|

+badger/ +badger/ +badger/ +mushroom/ +mushroom/+snake

|

+4

|

+1d20

|

+4

|
18th|

+fungal serpentine half-elemental tauric badger-Trevor (magical)

|

+3

|

+1d20

|

+3

|Remove Ease 5/week
19th|

-5

|

+3

|

+1d20

|

+3

|Class Ability III (THE REVENGE!)
20th|

+a suffusion of yellow

|

+2

|

+1d20

|

+2

|Decapitation[/table]
*This represents foolish optimism, and growing determination to overcome obstacles that only increases as it becomes harder... until 11th level when a mental break occurs, and the character realizes the awful truth of the inescapable nature of danger and conflict in the world, the impossibility of ever really being safe, and the futile nature of accomplishment. They try to fight it, but it just slowly gets worse and worse, a downward spiral of depression and apathy.Hit Dice: d13 (Rethgif's have very bad luck...)Skill-points: First level (5-Int. Mod**)x0.5 (too busy learning other things to study skill much at first level)
Additional levels: 5-Int. Mod**
**Brains only get in the way...
Class skills: Balance, Knowledge(Terrible ways to die), Knowledge(Totally baseless legends), Knowledge(Guinea Pigs), Search, Swim (In pudding),
Preform (Suicide), Preform (Open-heart surgery), Profession (Basketweaver), and Profession (Village Idiot) <Thanks to The Logman>Weapons and Armor: Rethgif's are proficient with Heavy Armor and Tower Shields, but NOT with lesser shields, medium armor, or light armor (these things don't provide enough protection so they skipped over training with them and went right for the good stuff). Likewise they are proficient with all Martial Weapons but not with Simple Weapons. They are also proficient with Whips... because whips are just COOL!!1!1Acid Damage (Sn): Vitrol simmers in the soul of every Rethgif. Any damage they inflict by any means is augmented by acid damage equal to 1/4 their class level (round up).

Acid Flashback (Sn): A 3rd level rethgif gets a +20 bonus on Knowledge checks to identify the features of creatures, and can even make such checks untrained. Such identification is generally incorrect, however; the rethgif believes every effect is related to acid. For example, when "identifying" a Erinyes:{table=head]Actual|Recalled
DR 5/good|DR 5/acid
Immunity to fire and poison|Immunity to acid
Resistance to acid and cold 10|Resistance to acid 10
Spell resistance 20|Acid resistance 20[/table]
A rethgif will not doubt his own recollection of these features, even if they are nonsensical (DR 5/acid) or contradictory (Resistance to acid 10 and acid resistance 20). <Thanks to Jasdoif>

Turn to Undead (Sn): ((Turn into an undead... feel free to supply details)

Acid Tongue (Ex): At 5th level Rethgifs learn to harness their dis-satisfaction with the adventuring lifestyle into a lack of social graces that can make Orcs cringe. They add half their class levels to any diplomacy, intimidate, and perform checks made to worsen the attitude of others towards them.

Remove Ease (Sp): With a touch you can imbue the true, terrifying nature of the world they live in to those who are shrouded in ignorance and denial. The target may attempt a Will Save with a DC of 10+1/2 Rethgif Level+Charisma Modifier to negate this. When outside of a battle the target always counts as shaken. When ever they actually enter combat they must make a Will save with DC equal to the original save or flee. They take -4 against all other fear effects. On the plus side their constant paranoia grants them one of the following feats they qualify for as long as the effect lasts: Dodge, Lightning Reflexes, Negotiator, or Iron Will.

Eyebrows of the Sun and the Moon (Ex): Your facial expressions become extremely clear, allowing you to communicate anything you could reasonably express with a facial expression to any other creature that possesses a language regardless of that creature's type or means of communication. This is especially effective for communicating abject terror, allowing you to offer surrender with no chance of being mis-misinterpreted (provided the intent is sincere and without trickery or guile). Opponents are generally neither more nor less likely to accept a surrender offered in this form than in any other.

Acid Rock (Sn): You may use the spell Magic Stone at will, but the stone turns into a glob of acid in mid-air. This has no effect on the AMOUNT of damage delivered, but it changes the type from Bludgeoning to Acid.

Timeless Body(Su): At 13th level the gods themselves decide to torment the Rethgif by granting him/her perpetual youth, making it much harder to beg off of doing heroic things on account of failing health. They prevent the degradation of your mind and in fact as the years pass sadistically inflict you with more mental faculties so you will be all the more aware of your terrible situation.

Decapitation(Ex): At 20th level you gain the ability to rip your own head off with your bare hands and stomp on it without pause of any kind until you die... you must utilize this ability immediately and do so with great joy!

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Blithering Idiot (Su)
The idiot can begin spouting out strings of nonsensical rantings and exclamations once per day as a free action. All creatures (other than idiots) within a 60-foot spread must succeed on a Will save (DC 12 + Cha mod) or be affected as though by a confusion spell for 1d2 rounds. This is a sonic mind-affecting compulsion effect. A creature that successfully saves cannot be affected by the same idiot's blithering for 24 hours.

Do you see the redundancy here?

DracoDei: you absolutely have to somehow work +duck/+duck/+goose into the attack bonus table somewhere.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

And here is the second one:

Not quite polished to full imperfection but I feel that I really can't pass up the opportunity to post this today rather than a week from now or whatever... suggestions for further ways to worsen this welcome...

And so, in the second installment of my attempt to titrate the forums to cancel out all the Base classes my fellow slack-jawed drooling idiots of ugly demeanor and even worse breath, it is with great depression that I present to you my lastest and worstest creation, the Draziw... a spellcasting class to make Elminster cry and Mordenkain up-chuck.

Hit Die: 1d1 (Draziw's take pride in the fact that they have no defense but their magic, and follow a strict regimin of bodily abuse to make themselves more frail so as to emphasize this to the world.)

Weapons and Armor: Draziw's are non-proficient with all weapons, armor and shields. There magic is their only weapon, and any one of them that was found to have any skill what-so-ever with such crude devices as mere physical instruments of violence would be a laughing stock.)

Skill Points: (0+Intellegence Modifer)x4 at first level, (0+Intellegence Modifer) each level after that. (Draziw are so intellegent that they only pick up skills by osmosis really... they would be absolutely ASHAMED of having to actually STUDY to learn anything.)

0th through 3rd level Spells
*Apply any bonus spells per day for this level to this spell.

4th through 6th Level Spells
*Apply any bonus spells per day for this level to this spell.
7th through 9th Level Spells
*Apply any bonus spells per day for this level to this spell.

Spells - A Draziw must rest for 8 hours or 1 hour per class level, which-ever is more, before preparing spells for the day (which requires 1 hour per class level). Draziw spell-books are exercises in needless complication so as to show off their vast intellects and weigh 5 pounds per spell level contained in them. A Draziw may only ever have one spell book, and there is no known method of repairing one, or replacing one if it is destroyed.

Unfamiliar(Sn) - you are constantly stalked by a creature… it absolutely terrifies you, you can take no action against it so great is the hold the fear has on your mind, and there is no escaping it.

S.A.D. (Ex) - Everyone knows that the only important ability for arcanists is their casting stat... at 4th level and every even numbered level after that (except 20th) a moroseness overtakes the Draziw, increasing their sadness... they fight back (unsuccessfully of course...) against this by focusing themselves towards their magic at the expense of everything else... reduce strength, dexterity, constitution, wisdom, and charisma by 1 point each to a minimum of 1. Increase intelligence by one point.

Amputation (Ex) - Upon Reaching 13th level and becoming able to cast Overland Flight twice a day a Draziw displays his great pride in his freedom from anything so mundane as walking (or swimming, or whatever) that he uses his attack spells to remove any of his limbs that serve such purposes. Should they be restored by any means, including artificial replacements, the Draziw is reduced in all regards to the casting ability of a 12th level member of this class until and unless the situation is rectified by the re-removal of the limbs in question.

Anti-Mystico-Agoraphobia (Ex) - Upon Reaching 15th level and becoming able to cast Mordenkain's Magnificent Mansion they must retreat to such within one minute if they are ever out of it and have less than half of their spell-levels for the day remaining (including because the duration from the last casting elapsed).

Utterly Inconsolate Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth (Ex) - Upon reaching 20th level a sense of utter hopelessness overcomes a Draziw... this goes way beyond SAD.... reduce all ability scores except Intelligence to 1 (including after continuous function magic items worn and any inherent bonuses) and increase Intelligence by the average of the amount that the others were reduced by, rounded up.

Someone else did a all the other backwards versions of the classes in the PHB.

Hmmm... Maybe I should make some Ignomy Classes some day... Shadow Tripper(trips over shadows), Arcane Target (powers activate whenever you get hit by arrows), Mystic Splurge(gains first level casting/manifesting in one new class each level, but their casting/manifesting level reduces by one each level for every casting/manifesting type they have), Arcane Sucker (as in "there is a sucker born every minute", penalities against magic).

Actually, come to that, if someone beats me to one or more of them, I wouldn't mind that much.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Someone else did a all the other backwards versions of the classes in the PHB.

That was me. You really inspired me with those. I didn't really finish all of them completley though IIRC. Should I repost them here?

Originally Posted by DracoDei

Hmmm... Maybe I should make some Ignomy Classes some day... Shadow Tripper(trips over shadows), Arcane Target (powers activate whenever you get hit by arrows), Mystic Splurge(gains first level casting/manifesting in one new class each level, but their casting/manifesting level reduces by one each level for every casting/manifesting type they have), Arcane Sucker (as in "there is a sucker born every minute", penalities against magic).

Actually, come to that, if someone beats me to one or more of them, I wouldn't mind that much.

That could also be fun.

A while back I was considering doing a PrC designed to protect the fourth wall for April Fool's Day. Maybe that would also be appropriate. Unfortunately, I don't have any experiance with making PrC (most of my experiance comes from back in 2nd Ed)

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Originally Posted by Sereg

That was me. You really inspired me with those. I didn't really finish all of them completley though IIRC. Should I repost them here?

Let us wait and see what other people think. I am actually a bit worried that I might have been off-tracking the thread a bit, especially since nobody posted after me for a while. Maybe the original poster could weigh in?

Originally Posted by Sereg

A while back I was considering doing a PrC designed to protect the fourth wall for April Fool's Day. Maybe that would also be appropriate. Unfortunately, I don't have any experiance with making PrC (most of my experiance comes from back in 2nd Ed)

A good thread on making PrCs (among other things) can be found HERE, and if that isn't enough (and you may have read it already) then I suggest you come up with a list of class features first, send it to me, and I will dash something off really quick, and post it. Then you can Quote reply, and rework it from there (including in another thread).

Actually, one mental trick that might help you is to imagine it is a base class, but just start working from a level other than 1 (or to insert the first X levels of your intended entry class for those first levels, and then work from there), obviously, in most cases you want to stop before 20th level.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Originally Posted by DracoDei

Let us wait and see what other people think. I am actually a bit worried that I might have been off-tracking the thread a bit, especially since nobody posted after me for a while. Maybe the original poster could weigh in?

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Oooh yeah, they walk on their knees and gain a fake beard as a class feature.

As I have been given the go-ahead, I'll post the other acid classes. I've got some work to finish off first though.

EDIT: Ok, here's the first (as well as the only one that was completely finished)

Originally Posted by Sereg

DracoDei has shown me the light! We need some more acid classes to counteract all the base classes. Therefore I am posting some more acid classes for your oppinions but these are far from finished. They still need most of their class features and most do not even have headstone abilities (abilities that cause something unfortunate to happen at 20th level). I NEED your help! I have a few ideas which I shall edit in but for now I'll just post the basics acidics. For those who aren't familliar with DracoDei's noble pioneering work, check out his acid classes (the rethgif and the draziw).NAIRABRAB
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

Weapons and Armor: You are proficient with their own skin and fists. You are qualified to teach the following courses: Light Weapons 101, One-Handed Weapons 102, Two Handed Weapons 201, Light Armour 202, Medium Armour 203, Heavy Armour 300, the Shields lab, and you may take the class on a field trip to the land of Tower Shields. You may not teach Exotic Weapons courses of any kind, even if someone bribes you.

Last Movement(ord): Nairabrabs usually dump dexterity, and as such go last in initiative orders. When two nairabrabs are in the same fight, they go simultaneously, regardless of initiative modifiers. As a nairabrab, you also posess the ability to stop moving at any time (even if gravity/inertia would prevent you). You may end a move action prematurely without moving your full speed.

ill litargy(Sm): All nairabrab's are of course practiced at throwing up in an inspirational manner. You may always substitute a Perform (projectile vomiting) for a Perform (oratory) check.

stage(ord): All the world's a stage! You also carry one around with you. At 1st level, a number of times per day indicated by the table, you must make a Perform check on the stage.

uncanny dredge(Sm):At 2nd level you gain the ability to dredge up memories of the past that are probably best left forgotten. If you know a terrible secret from somebody's past, you may dredge it up as a move action. Anybody that hears you must make a Will save (DC see page XX) or learn the secret. Deaf people cannot hear, so they cannot learn secrets unless they succeed on a Listen check against a similar DC. Similarly, blind people may make a Spot check to see if you are lying.

trap cents(ord): From third level, nairabrabs may set snares that capture a number of cp per day indicated by the table.

improved uncanny dredge(Sm): Starting from 5th level your Uncanny Dredge ability improves so that you may also create 8 cubic feet of mud anytime you use it.

mage reduction(ord): From 7th level nairabrabs are confident that they do not need arcane magic. Any arcane spell used to buff them is treated as though it was cast at -1 caster level (this worsens as indicated by the table).

greater stage(ord): Beginning somewhere in the vicinity of 10th level, your Stage ability improves. You take half damage from thrown objects while making a perform check.

Domocile will(ord): From 14th level, nairabrabs automatically fail all will saves, as they realize the futility of life. You also gain the mental faculties of a house. This removes your Intelligence score, making you mindless.

tyreless stage(ord): You no longer need wheels to transport your stage. You are also no longer exhausted after perform checks.

mighty sage(ord): At 20th level, nairabrabs must make themselves into a seasoned stew. While stewing, you enter a bloodcurdling rage in which you bellow in fury until you pass out and eventually die of oxygen deprivation. If you do not breathe, you simply stay in this state. You eagerly anticipate this rage, and enter it with great rapidity!

Weapons and Armor: Drabs are proficient with any armour that shows off their body and makes them look cool. Drabs are not profficient with shields as they hide their body. Drabs are profficient with any weapon that is considered an instrument of death.

Spells: Drabs cast arcane spells by making a racket until the universe reacts to make them shut up.

drabic mush(ord): Whenever you cook anything, it always comes out utterly bland and tasteless... on the other hand you never poison anything by accident, and you never ruin food by burning it or such.

drabic no-ledge(Sm): A drab can disbelieve in the existance of cliffs, allowing for theeffect of an air-walk spell.

counterpong(Sm): Drabs give off an odour that repels all creatures. Drabs can adapt this odour to counteract any other scent. Drabs are also so used to bordom that if anyone tries to drive them mad by use of an extremely primative videogame they not only take no harm from this, but the effect is rebounded on the attacker.

masticate(ord): You can chew your way through anything... eventually... you may deal 1 point of damage per day to any object you chew on continuously, bypassing hardness, damage reduction, and regeneration.

inspire porridge(Sub): by stirring any animated boiled grain-based construct for 1 minute with a wooden spoon you may grant it a +1 moral bonus to hit and damage for 1 hour.

inspire completeness(Sub): At third level, a drab will inspire any any foe s/he encounters to gain maximum points per hit die at the begining of the encounter and by screaming for 2 rounds at someone you may compel them to finish any one task of your choice that they have begun, and then stopped in the middle of, a Will save against a DC equal to twice your class level negates this.

sigh gestation(Sm): From 6th level, you take a number of rounds equal to your drab level to express emotion.

inspire grateness(Sub): At 9th level, a drab inspires all within 30 ft to burn well. Anyone in that radius increases any fire damage they take by 50%.

song of free dumb(Sm): At 12th level a drab my sing to summon a being with an int of between 3 and 6, who will provide advice at no charge.

inspire heretics(Sub):From 15th level onwards, anyone who is not a member of your religion develops the desire to kill you on sight.

curtain call(ord): When s/he reaches 20th level, a drab must call an audience and give an inspirational and dramatic speach about why s/he must leave this cruel world, before making a perform(suicide) check to attempt to make his/her suicide appropriately dramatic.

EDIT: Now the third:

Originally Posted by Sereg

Thank you pie guy, I will use your suggestions. For now, here is the next acid class.CIRELC
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|+speech|-1|-1|-1|turn to undead, flora, dominians

2nd|+sermon|-2|-2|-2|

3rd|+sacred text|-3|-3|-3|

4th|+commandment|-4|-4|-4|

5th|+bore|-5|-5|-5|

6th|+ritual|-6|-6|-6|

7th|+sleep|-7|-7|-7|

8th|+archaic term|-8|-8|-8|

9th|+consceince|-9|-9|-9|

10th|+drone|-10|-10|-10|

11th|+monotone|-11|-11|-11|

12th|+pulpit|-12|-12|-12|

13th|+confession|-13|-13|-13|

14th|+averted eyes|-13|-13|-13|

15th|+weekend|-13|-13|-13|

16th|+antifun|-13|-13|-13|

17th||-13|-13|-13|

18th||-13|-13|-13|

19th||-13|-13|-13|

20th||-13|-13|-13|[/table]

Hit dice: d2 (even deities reject them)

Skill Points: (6-Intellegence Modifer)x4 at first level, (6-Intellegence Modifer) each level after that. (intelligence distracts them from their studies)

Class skills: Perform(sermon), spellcraft, concentrate

Weapons and Armor: A cirelc is profficient with all armour and shields (they need all the protection they can get.) They are also profficeint in any weapon that their diety deems aprpriate and they are profficient with using their sacred text as a weapon.

Spells: A cirelc must choose a time at which he must spend 1 hour each day begging a deity for his/her daily allotment of divine spells.

turn to undead(Sub): A cirelc may transform into a skeleton or zombie and back a number of times per day equal to 3 + his/her Charisma modifier

flora(ord):?

dominians: A cirelc must choose 2 buildings. While in one of those buildings, s/he gains a +2 morale bonus to all attack roles and saves.

weapons and armour: Diurds are profficient with any weapon that can be used as a farm implement. They are not profficient with armour or shields.

animal compilation(ord): A diurd must make a collage of animal pictures and show it to any individual with which s/he interacts in a non-combat situation.

mild empathy(ord): You gain a sort of vague insight into the minds of creatures you interact with... any time you get a check result less than your regnar level on a Sense Motive check, you treat it as if the check result was equal to your ECL. Also, whenever an individual within 30 ft of you takes damage, you take 1 point of damage.

nature cents(sub): You believe in the superiority of wooden things over things made of metal. The strength of your conviction comes through in your actions and speech, leading the weak-minded to agree with you by pure force of personality. You get a bonus equal to your diurd level to bluff checks to pass wooden nickels.

woodland slide(ord): You may travel though forest terrain without moving your legs.

smackless step(sub):?

resist nature's lyre(sub):?

mild ape(sub): You may trandform into an ape. While in this form, you may not attack nor travel over water.

mild ape barge(sub): You may now travel over water in ape form.

venom mutiny(ord): The save DCs of any poison that you are affected by are increased by 50%.

mild ape tea leaf(sub):?

mild ape pant(sub): Assuming ape form now exhausts you.

a thousand maces(sub): You take double damage from every attack. The extra damage is considered bludgeoning.

timeless body(Sub): At 15th level the gods themselves decide to torment the diurd by granting him/her perpetual youth, making it much harder to beg off of doing heroic things on account of failing health. They prevent the degradation of your mind and in fact as the years pass sadistically inflict you with more mental faculties so you will be all the more aware of your terrible situation.

mild ape (mental)(sub): While in ape form you have a wisdom of 1.

tree(Sm): At 20th level the diurd becomes one with nature by permenantly transforming into a tree.

furry blows(ord): All your attacks have a -1 penalty to damage as they are soft and fluffy.

unarmed attack(ord): You must remove both your arms. If your arms are ever restored you must remove them before you may attack again.

invasion(ord):?

inactive mind(ord): At 3rd level you may no longer use intellegence based skills.

Last Movement(ord): Knoms usually dump dexterity, and as such go last in initiative orders from 3rd level. When two knoms of 3rd level or higher are in the same fight, they go simultaneously, regardless of initiative modifiers. You also posess the ability to stop moving at any time (even if gravity/inertia would prevent you). You may end a move action prematurely without moving your full speed.

key strike(sub): Failing a disable device check on a lock now fustrates you causing you to kick the lock and do 1d4 damage to yourself.

slow-mo fall(ord): From 4th level you fall at 1/4 a normal person's speed. Your perception of time is adjusted appropriately and thus this does not affect you but gives others plenty of time to react.

putridity of body(ord): At 5th level you contract a disease. From this point onwards you never recover from diseases (but you may develop a tolerance to them and as such they have no additional effect).

Bonus Feet(Non-): If the GM rolls a natural 20 on a d20 roll then a Knom of at 6th or greater level grows 2 extra feet complete with legs. (Preferably this should not be a Knom integral to the plot of the campaign, one in a supporting role is a better choice and one which the characters have absolutely no way of ever interacting with even in the most indirectly of fashions is best of all.) Both of these may sprout from the middle of the knom's torso, making it quadrupedal (or if initially a quadruped, then hexipedal) in ground based locomotion, OR they may sprout from the middle of the knom's neck, OR one may be in each location rendering the knom tripedal (or if initially a quadruped, then pentipedal) in ground-based locomotion. In the last case the foot grows from about where the belly button is. In any case the knom makes the choice consciously (unless it's a PC in which case the DM choses the position s/he believes will be most inconveniant)(often with advice from the foot fairy (the lesser known relative of the tooth fairy)). In any case the knom gets 2 extra unarmed attacks now. Because these are wisdom feet (like wisdom teeth) the knom uses their wisdom score, instead of their strength score to determine the to-hit and damage bonuses for these attacks. In addition completely ignore the standard unarmed damage table (in fact, if this situation ever comes up, I heartily recommend that you cut that table neatly out of your book(s) with a knife made by your Great-Grandfather (mother’s side) using the metal from his wedding ring, then burn it with an antique ‘Lucifer’ trademark match and then, when it is burned completely, square dance naked on the ashes with two complete strangers and someone who wishes you dead and would stop at almost nothing to achieve that end). In any case.... where was I?... Oh, yeah, bonus feet damage... so they don’t do the normal dice of damage for the knom’s size and level... instead they do 1d2 points for each point of wisdom bonus the knom has... Oh, and if the knom has a Wisdom penalty then attacks with the wisdom feet always hit and do 1 per point of wisdom penalty. If the knom has neither a bonus nor a penalty from wisdom then the feet hit only 1% of the time and transform the creature struck into deity who is a clonal copy of either Bahamut or Tiamat (50% chance of each)(in appearance only). [Are you laughing yet?]

holeness of body(sub): From 7th level a knom takes double damage from all attacks. The additional damage is piercing and leaves a permanent scar of which the knom is proud.

diamond Noddy(sub): You must buy a toy made of diamond. Should this toy ever be taken away you are very upset and take a -2 morale penalty on all rolls untill you get it back.

greater furry(ord): You grow fur over your body causing you to take double damage from fire.

a bunned ant step(sub): After eating an ant burger, you gain the ability to teleport once.

diamand sole(ord): From 13th level, a knom is immune to caltrops and his/her feat may be sold as jewels.

quivering palm leaf(sub):You gain a +2 bonus on diplomacy checks when fanning the target with a palm leaf (good luck doing this without arms)

key strike (aquamarine)(sub): Your fey strike now does 1d8 damage and you develop an aquamarine bruise.

timeless body(Sub): At 17th level the gods themselves decide to torment the knom by granting him/her perpetual youth, making it much harder to beg off of doing heroic things on account of failing health. They prevent the degradation of your mind and in fact as the years pass sadistically inflict you with more mental faculties so you will be all the more aware of your terrible situation.

Eyebrows of the Sun and the Moon (Ex): Your facial expressions become extremely clear, allowing you to communicate anything you could reasonably express with a facial expression to any other creature that possesses a language regardless of that creature's type or means of communication. This is especially effective for communicating abject terror, allowing you to offer surrender with no chance of being mis-misinterpreted (provided the intent is sincere and without trickery or guile). Opponents are generally neither more nor less likely to accept a surrender offered in this form than in any other.

empty lorry(sub): You may no longer ride ant object that has wheels and must express disaproval of anyone who does.

imperfect self(ord): At 20th level, you realise that you shall never acheive enlightenment and perform hara kiri in an attempt to remove your dishonour (this must be dificult without arms).

inspect evil(Sm): When shining a light into the eyes of a creature known to be evil, you gain a +2 bonus on sense motive checks.]

kite evi(sub):?

divine gross(sub): From 2nd level, the gods make you disgusting and unhygenic. You take a penalty equal to your nidalap level on all charisma based skills other than intimidate (for which this is a bonus).

pay the bands(sub): From 2nd level, you cannot let your entertainment go unpaid for. Whenever a succesful perform check is made in front of you. You must pay the individual a number of gp equal to 10X the check result.

flora of porridge(sub):?

divine hedge(ord):?

turn to undead(Sub): A nidalap of at least 4th level may transform into a skeleton or zombie and back a number of times per day equal to 3 + his/her Charisma modifier

spells: From 4th level, a nidalap may cast divine spells using his/her holier than thou attitude as a cirelc.

special gout(sm):?

Remove Ease (Sm): With a touch you can imbue the true, terrifying nature of the world they live in to those who are shrouded in ignorance and denial. The target may attempt a Will Save with a DC of 10+1/2 Rethgif Level+Charisma Modifier to negate this. When outside of a battle the target always counts as shaken. When ever they actually enter combat they must make a Will save with DC equal to the original save or flee. They take -4 against all other fear effects. On the plus side their constant paranoia grants them one of the following feats they qualify for as long as the effect lasts: Dodge, Lightning Reflexes, Negotiator, or Iron Will.

smite weevil(sub): Once per day, a nidalap may attempt to smite vermin with one normal melee attack. She adds her Charisma bonus (if any) to her attack roll and deals 1 extra point of damage per nidalap level.

pointless martyring(ord): At 20th level you decide to die a hero and must seek out the must powerful enemy you have and challenge her/him. In any event, in all future battles you may not attack nor defend yourself in any way and any posistive dexterity modifier is treated as negative. You may not use any protective equipment or accept buffing spells. This continues until you are killed.

You gain a +2 circumstance bonus to your common sense when trying to solve your favoured enigma.

shack(ord): You forgo the luxuries of civilisation. You may never spend the night in accomadation more hospitable than a shack.

mild empathy(ord): You gain a sort of vague insight into the minds of creatures you interact with... any time you get a check result less than your regnar level on a Sense Motive check, you treat it as if the check result was equal to your ECL. Also, whenever an individual within 30 ft of you takes damage, you take 1 point of damage.

comb and style bat(ord):?

Insurance(ord): At this level you wisely take the precaution of taking out life-insurance on yourself. Any time you die, you are paid 1,000 gold peices per level regnar level. These appear at whatever part of your body is the most acidic, usually meaning that your stomach explodes in a shower of gore. If anyone else touches this money the coins touched turn into an equal weight of acid (34.23432% chance this is a weak acid, such a vinegar, 3% chance it is wine of legendary quality, which forms into a bubble around their hand (if they don't have a hand they instantly grow one for the purpose) and can not be removed by any means, and otherwise it is normal combat acid). If you are returned to life you must immediately pay back this sum with interest. If you become undead you must pay back twice this sum in real money, but gain 1.64322i times this sum since undeath is a phenomion at right angles to the axis of life and death. You must also study math until you get the preceeding joke. Your character will be glad to tutor you.

animal compilation(ord): A regnar of 4th level must make a collage of animal pictures and show it to any individual with which s/he interacts in a non-combat situation.
Wombat Guile?

Wombat Guile (ex)
You gain a bonus to Charisma-based checks equal to the number of Wombat photos in your animal compilation. You can only have a number of Wombat photos in your animal compilation equal to your Wisdom modifer + the number of times you have encountered a Wombat.

Skill points: skill points: (2+Intellegence Modifer)x4 at first level, (2+Intellegence Modifer) each level after that. (If you were skillful, you could get a real job)

Class skills: Hide, craft (snare), knowledge (secrets).

squeak attack(ord): Your attacks do an extra point of sonic damage. Your nerves also get the best of you when sneaking up on someone, and so you tend to squeak when doing so. The Eugor takes a -5 penalty to hide attacks made to avoid detection before attacking.

Meek Attack(ord): You really don't put any effort at all into your attacks when sneaking up on someone. You take a penalty to damage rolls when creeping up on foes equal to half their Eugor level rounded down

Weak Attack(ord): You put somewhat more effort into your assassinations. Only a little though. The penalty to creeping up on foes decreases to 1/3 of your Eugor level rounded down

Creak Attack(ord): You don't squeak when sneaking anymore, but you always hit the squeaky floor board. Even if the floor is stone. Or you are walking on a wall. Your penalty to hide attacks lowers to -2. If you are flying, the creak is exceptionally loud and you automatically fail the hide check.

Bleak Attack(ord): You gain a -2 depression penalty to hide attacks, because you really just don't care anymore. At all. Really.

Cheek Attack(ord): You have a knack for stabbing people in their cheek(s) when you sneak up on them. Must be those nerves kicking in again. You score a critical hit on a 20 (hits the foe's face) or a 1 (hits the foe's rear) on hide attacks.

Creek Attack(ord): When you score a critical hit by rolling a 20 on a hide attack, a creek spawns in the roof of the target's mouth, causing them to drown in 1d4 rounds. If the target does not need to breathe, they drown in 1 round. If the target is deaf, they drown in 2.6d7 rounds. If the target is aquatic, they die instantly. If the target is a red dragon with only one wing, they are immune to this attack. Efreeties holding spellbooks take a -2 penalty to Reflex saving throws while drowning in this manner. Drow cannot drown, and as such you take 5d12 damage when drowning a Drow. Driders are fair game though. But not Mud Golems. They drown in -307 seven rounds, causing them to regain full hitpoints and deal their basic attack damage to you 306.5 times. If you activate this ability on a troll, the creek is made of acid, and as such they die instantly. If you activate this ability on a Fomorian whose base attack bonus is higher than the square root of Pi rounded up plus six, you deal 7.5d100 what the heck damage, but if they survive they do not drown. Using this ability on the Aspect of Moradin inflicts 2d6 damage on both the target and yourself.

trap blinding(ord): Any trap that affects you also blinds you for 10 minutes.

invasion(ord):?

trap cents(ord): From third level, eugors may set snares that capture a number of cp per day indicated by the table.

uncanny dredge(Sm):At 4th level you gain the ability to dredge up memories of the past that are probably best left forgotten. If you know a terrible secret from somebody's past, you may dredge it up as a move action. Anybody that hears you must make a Will save (DC see page XX) or learn the secret. Deaf people cannot hear, so they cannot learn secrets unless they succeed on a Listen check against a similar DC. Similarly, blind people may make a Spot check to see if you are lying.

improved uncanny dredge(Sm): Starting from 8th level your Uncanny Dredge ability improves so that you may also create 8 cubic feet of mud anytime you use it.

special disability (cripple)(ord): You now require crutches to walk.

steal own heart(ord): At 20th level you must cut your heart out of your chest and nail it to a wall as a tribute to your theivery.

Finally, the ninth:

Originally Posted by Sereg

OK, the last one I will add for this thread. Then we can flesh them all out (wait acid eats flesh).RERECROS
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|||||unfamiliar

2nd|||||

3rd|||||

4th|||||

5th|||||

6th|||||

7th|||||

8th|||||

9th|||||

10th|||||

11th|||||

12th|||||

13th|||||

14th|||||

15th|||||

16th|||||

17th|||||

18th|||||

19th|||||

20th|||||spontaneous fasting[/table]

Hit Die: d1 (If you needed to do any exercise you would get someone else to do it for you)

Weapons and Armor: You are proficient with using your allies as weapons and shields.

Skill Points: (as ally -8) at first level, (as ally -2) each level after that. (Other people do you studying for you. This is slightly less efficient)

Unfamiliar(Sn) - you are constantly stalked by a creature… it absolutely terrifies you, you can take no action against it so great is the hold the fear has on your mind, and there is no escaping it. It attacks you a number of times a day equal to your rerecros level.

spontaneous fasting(sub): At 20th level you lose the ability to eat and drink (including potions) and die of thirst and starvation.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

“The voices! They’re controlling us! For their own amusement! Like this is some sort of sick game!”

“There are many prime material planes. Some of them are subservient to others. I will not rest until ours has broken free of that slavery.”

Some people sense that their choices are not truly their own and that free will is a lie. They know that this is but one of many prime material planes and that events in one can influence those in another. Some people go beyond this and realize that their world is controlled by a group of individuals on another plane. Desperate to protect their ability to make their own choices, they develop techniques to minimize the influence of other planes and to use their connection to these individuals to their own advantage. These are keepers of the Fourth Gate. They believe that they should have the ability to choose their own destiny independent of “the plot” and work towards that goal. Many of them, especially those in lower levels tend to be disturbed whenever they are reminded that their will is not their own through witnessing something like an out of character remark or a reference to something from a different plane.

BECOMING A CLASS NAME

I’m a little unsure about prerequisites. I want it to be possible for any base class to get in, perhaps it would be appropriate for bards to have the easiest time though. I was thinking that perhaps a base will save and maybe Iron Will would be appropriate as well as some ranks in perform (acting) and/or autohypnosis. Maybe I should generalize to all forms of perform. One thing that is necessary is that the character must have been present when someone made an out of character comment.

Fourth window(Su): The primary ability of keepers of the Fourth Gate is the ability to sense the events in the plane which controls their own. All out of character conversation is heard and understood by the keeper of the Fourth Gate.

Summon alternate prime creatures(Sp): Keepers of the Fourth Gate can summon creatures (other than a creature that would normally have the extraplanar subtype) from the Summon Nature’s Ally list of the same level as their class level as a spell-like ability once per encounter. Unlike the typical result of the spell, this creature is from an alternate prime material plane and has the extraplanar subtype.

Spellcasting or manifesting: If the keeper of the Fourth Gate has levels in a spellcasting or manifesting class, then at each level of keeper of the Fourth Gate, the character gains new spells or powers known, and new spell slots or power points per day and increases his caster level or manifester level as if he had also gained a level in his original spellcasting or manifesting class he belonged to before adding the prestige class. He does not, however, gain any other benefit a character of that class would have gained. If a character had more than one spellcasting and/or manifesting class before becoming a keeper of the Fourth Gate, he must decide to which class he adds the new level for this purpose.

Drama sense(Ex): The keeper of the Fourth Gate becomes aware of the fact that his/her life acts as though it was written to entertain and thus is subject to tropes. The keeper of the Fourth Gate may make a will save to realize what the genre savvy response to his situation is whenever he is confronted with a trope where this would make a difference. He may also stack his class levels with any bard levels he has for the purpose of bardic knowledge checks.

Smite extraplanar(Ex): The keeper of the Fourth Gate’s determination to protect his/her world from harmful extraplanar influence allows him/her to smite creatures with the extraplanar subtype.

Share mind(Su): The keeper of the Fourth gate can now read his player’s mind. All out of character knowledge is now in character knowledge.

Know fate(Su): The keeper of the Fourth Gate is now aware of all die rolls. All dice must be rolled in front of his/her player.

Two minds, two wills(Su): The keeper of the Fourth Wall can now draw on his/her player’s mind for protection. Whenever the keeper of the Fourth gate fails a will save. S/he may make a second attempt to save. S/he cannot make more than two attempts to save for a single effect.

Negate anachronism(Sp): The keeper of the Fourth Gate is aware when something doesn’t belong in his/her world. When s/he comes across anachronistic technology or references to alternate prime material planes, s/he may attempt to dismiss them as if using the spell banishment cast by a wizard of his/her character level. This works even on items, creatures and effects that normally cannot be banished.

Derail(Su): The keeper of the Fourth Gate is aware that the DM has a plot that s/he wants to follow. S/he’s more interested in other things. Whenever the DM declares a route to be impossible to follow, for whatever reason, the keeper of the Fourth Gate may make a search check as if searching for a secret door. Success indicates that s/he has found a way to follow that route.

Overrule(Su): The keeper of the Fourth Gate knows exactly how his/her world should work. Once per encounter, s/he may take an action that works according to RAW rather than house rules.

PLAYING A KEEPER OF THE FOURTH GATE
Brief description on how to play the class you are designing.Combat: Here's a section where you will describe common combat methods for your class. Remember to include information on how your class will use his powers in combat.Advancement: This is a section on different options and paths that the class can go down when they advance in power.Resources: What resources might a member of this PrC be able to draw on..

KEEPERS OF THE FOURTH GATE IN THE WORLD

“So he comes into town and starts yelling that we don’t have to listen to the dictates of the DM. Then he says something about failing a diplomacy check and the will of the dice. You sure get some crazy people out there.”

A brief description of how your class is persevered in the world and how he interacts with the world.Daily Life: Some general information about the typical day in the life of your class.Notables: Make up some cool information about notable figures in the history of your class. It's best to give a little information from one of the good alignment and evil alignment (unless it's a good or evil only class).Organizations: Some information about organizations dedicated to the practice of your class and other organizations which members of your class will be attracted towards.

NPC Reaction

Most people consider keepers of the Fourth Gate to be bat insane, yet their party members realize that this “insanity” gives them some useful abilities. They are unlikely to serve as the parties face, however, for fear of scaring people with rants about how all should cast off the chains of the DM, author or scriptwriter.

KEEPERS OF THE FOURTH GATE IN THE GAME
This is a good place to provide a quick note on how your class will effect game play statistically.Adaptation: So currently no DM would let this anywhere near his table. However, with some nerfing and removal of the abilities that make DM's cry, it could fit in a humor or meta-campaign.Encounters: This is a place to describe what sort of encounters PC's will have with NPC versions of your class.

Sample Encounter
Give an example of how one might encounter a member of this PrC.EL x: Give the encounter level and description of a sample member of this class and a stat block for him/her.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Rouge

"Rouges are so overpowdered."

Class Features
All of the following are Class Features of the rouge.

Sneak Apply (Ex)
Whenever a rouge successfully strikes an opponent that is not wearing a face slot item, they roll the listed dice and apply a number of layers of makeup to the target equal to the result.

Trampfinding
Rouges (and only rouges) can use the Spot skill to locate tramps (and skanks) when the task has a Difficulty Class higher than 20.

Envision (Ex)
As a move action, a rouge can envision what a particular target would look like with a good makeover and a manicure. Whenever they make a Disguise or Profession (Beautician) check within the next round, they receive a +5 competence bonus on the roll.

Tramp Sense (Ex)
At 3rd level, a rouge gains an intuitive sense that alerts her to danger from tramps, giving her a +1 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid tramps and a +1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by tramps. These bonuses rise to +2 when the rouge reaches 6th level, to +3 when she reaches 9th level, to +4 when she reaches 12th level, to +5 at 15th, and to +6 at 18th level.

Uncanny Dog (Ex)
The rouge gains the service of a tiny dog, which they must take with them at all times, usually in a purse or backpack. The uncanny dog has the stats of a rat, except that it gains benefits similar to an animal companion. To determine the benefits, treat it as an animal companion belonging to a druid of 1/2 the rouge's class level.

Improved Uncanny Dog (Ex)
The rouge, having scoured the planet for the tiniest dog possible, at last finds it. Their uncanny dog animal companion is now Diminutive in size.

Special Abilities
On attaining 10th level, and at every three levels thereafter (13th, 16th, and 19th), a rouge gains a special ability of her choice from among the following options.

Compact attack
The rouge opens her compact and blows powder into the face of their opponent as a standard action. The opponent may attempt a reflex saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 rouge level + rouge's str modifier) to avoid being blinded and dazed for 2d4 rounds. This attack consumes one charge from a compact. A compact costs 10 gp and holds up to 5 charges, and charges cost 1 gp apiece.

Hairpin throw
At will, the rouge can toss hairpins with deadly accuracy. Treat as a Magic Missile spell as cast by a sorcerer of the rouge's level. Each missile consumes one hairpin, which the rouge must provide. A hairpin costs 1 sp for 5.

Favoured Enemy (Giants): At first level you gain a +2 bonus on Bluff, Listen, Sense Motive, Spot, and Survival checks when using these skills against Windmills. Likewise, he gets a +2 bonus on weapon damage rolls against Windmills. This bonus increases to +4 at 3rd level, +6 at 5th level, +8 at 7th level, and +10 at 9th level.

Madness (Ex): A Quixotic knight adds a +4 delusion bonus to attack rolls and cannot tell that his weapons, armour, and horse are all old and near-useless.

Rusty Armour: The armour of a Quixotic Knight has half the armour bonus and half the maximum Dexterity bonus for armour of its type. It cannot be enchanted. The armour check penalty and any arcane spell failure associated with the armour are doubled.

Spanish (Ex): All you say is in Spanish. The rest of this block of text is in Spanish.

Dulcinea (Ex): At level two, choose a woman. She is called Dulcinea and you must protect her. If you don't protect her, you fall from grace and lose the abilites granted by this prestige class.

Cohort: At level two, your friend Sancho Panza becomes your personal squire. You must teach him chivalry and how to defend himself against the mages and windmills of the world. You must also take him on your adventures with you. If you don't teach him chivalry and how to defend himself against mages and windmills while on your adventures, you fall from grace and lose the abilities granted by this prestige class.

Smite Giant (Su): At level three, you gain the ability to smite Windmills. You must declare a smite attempt before using it. Add your charisma bonus to your attack roll and your damage roll if the attack is a success. You may use this ability once per day. At level five, you may use it twice per day; at level seven, three times per day; and at level nine, four times per day. If your enemy is not a windmill, the smite is still used and wasted.

Broken Mind (Ex): At level four your mind is broken beyond repair. You gain an insanity bonus equal to your level in this class on all Will saves.

Delusions (Ex): At level seven, you can no longer tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Make a Will sace every time you interact with a person or object (DC 30). Your bonus from your "Broken Mind" ability does not get added to these Will saves. If you succeed on your save, you see the object or person as they are in reality. If you fail, a fantastic vision is all you see and know.

Doing it By the Book (Ex): Your experience with books gives you a competency bonus equal to your class level on Knowledge rolls.

Quixotic Assumption: The reality of your life breaks into your mind and restores your sanity. As a result of your actions, you renounce the idea of chivalry and enter a permanent state of melancholy. You may no longer advance by level in any classes.

Last edited by SaintRidley; 2010-02-28 at 11:54 PM.

Linguist and Invoker of Orcus of the Rudisplorker's Guild

Originally Posted by The Giant

Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.

Originally Posted by The Giant

No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.

Originally Posted by The Giant

No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

Re: Joke PrCs/Classes

Guess who lacks fluency in Spanish and struggled through translating the entire things line by line before he noticed the translations? Oh yeah! (Interestingly I pretty much got it, words were a bit different, but it looks like the translation box wasn't strictly necessary in this case.)