Reviews are ideally an assessment of a film’s value as entertainment or enlightenment. They should never be a guide when attempting to figure out what in the movie’s world is going on. Such is the case with Christopher Nolan’s mind-over-matter blockbuster Inception, a confounding riddle of a story where the characters are lost inside one another’s dreams without a clue.

You know, you’d think that with today’s economy, airlines would try to offer a little more hospitality. I try to light a cigar—the stewardess tells me I can’t smoke on planes. I love smoking in cramped areas full of people. I demand we watch Fievel Goes West as the in-flight movie—the stewardess tells me nobody likes it. It’s my favorite movie!