Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Ted Wells Was Right

As a blogger, I am duty bound to mock those who wrote sentencing letters in support of Inmate No. 4026969, formerly known as "Scooter" Libby. The Smoking Gun has made some of those missives available, to make my job of mocking easier.

Let's start with this submission from Leon "Cokie" Wieseltier:

Dear Judge Walton:

I am the literary editor of The New Republic, a position that I have proudly held since 1983.

Hey! Wieseltier used a split infinitive I'm a dumb ass.

Wieseltier goes on to explain that his family needed some legal assistance a "very long time" ago, so he called his old friend, Len Garment, who ordered his associate, Scooter, to provide the Wieseltiers with some "charitable assistance." The court has redacted the portion of the correspondence in which Wieseltier describes the nature of his family's legal troubles, and one might question whether cadging free legal representation from a high-powered, well-connected Nixon stooge represents either the receipt of charity or circumstances warranting the mercy of the court. After all, it was Libby's job to provide competent legal services to the Wieseltiers, whether he was getting paid or not. But Leon, who is willing to put his "own hand on the Bible" on Libby's behalf, appears confident that Judge Walton will find Libby's compulsory twenty year old pro bono work sufficient mitigation for perjury in the present century.

If anyone knows the legal jeopardy Wieseltier describes in his letter, be sure to let me know, either in comments or by e-mail.

Update: Won't someone please think of the children? You have no idea what the Libby trial "has done to [Mary Matalin's] own kids, just their reading about it." The little tykes just can't understand why "Mr. Scooter" did the things for which he was convicted. Not to mention the many other children who love Scooter.