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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Y'all Debate

We talk in a series of winding debates. We probably
should've realized that we both had to be right about everything before we got
married, but here we are anyway. And look at the bright side, neither of us can
ever say our conversations are boring. Like the time we argued over the word
"y'all."

We were driving over to visit my parents; the car is a
common breeding ground for our battles. I guess you just can't confine that
much passion in that small of a space. You were behind the wheel. In that
infuriating way of yours, you kept your eyes on the road, all while
not-so-delicately navigating the waters of your wife's ire.

How dare you watch the road while driving!

"I'm telling you the proper contraction is
y-a-apostrophe-l-l. Anything else would be ridiculous."

Counting to ten stopped helping years ago. My hackles raised,
and I snarled my response. "How in the hell do you figure that?"

"Because the contraction originates from the words ‘ya’
and ‘all.’ Obviously.” The car remained
steadfastly on the road. All I wanted to do was jerk the wheel over so that
some of your composure was lost. Oh, well, if we wrecked.

“How is that obvious?! And don’t you think a Southerner would know the proper contraction of y’all better than some Northern California
geek lord?”

You didn’t even hesitate. You jerk. “Well, yeah, I would’ve thought so.”

The heat from my reddening skin burned. My palms itched with
the desire to strangle you. My retort died suddenly in the flash fire of my
passion. Given the time, I’m sure I could have thought of something brilliant,
but as it was, I could only sputter and growl a response, toss my hair
dramatically, and turn my attention out the passenger window. Irish temper 0,
Jeremy 476.

Author's Note: Written for the Write on Edge Red Writing Hood prompt "Pivotal Conversations." We were assigned to write about a pivotal conversation from our memory. I'm not sure how "pivotal" this debate with Jeremy was, but it still lives on within the annals of our more memorable debates. I still bring it up from time to time, and he still argues that y'all is spelled ya'll. He's wrong. Now if I could only calm down enough to tell him why. Click the link below to read some great non-fiction: