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Topic: Ladies: Month Three Period Obsession - Time to try the meds? (Read 295 times)

I am going into month three of an HA theme and am seriously considering taking zoloft or even inositol to stop this cycle. I am so afraid to take the meds even temporarily; I did before and I got robot-y after several months. I also lost my sex drive. But the nature of my fear and its relationship to stress is starting to make me think without help, I can be creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. The situation:

Since March, I've been nurturing a fear of missing my period. This all really started when I had an annual and in addition the pap, I had an endometrial biopsy. I Googled relentlessly about the biopsy and learned far more about missed periods than I should ever have done. When my next period came around light, the match was struck.

Since then it's been a normal pap, normal endometrial biopsy, normal ultrasound - all in April - as well as normal periods. However, each month, I am paralyzed with fear that I won't get a cycle and this will mean that I have ovarian c-word. I've done tons of research and arrive at the same three facts:

- missed periods are not a typical sign of ovarian c-word; when they do show up, it's for a rare type of OC that also comes with several other, obvious hormonal symptoms (ie. a beard)- o c is rare in general; as a black, pre-meno female, I'm in an especially low risk group- o c is spotted on ultrasounds; because I have fibroids, I've had at least five ultrasounds over the years ,the most recent on April 28. They saw nothing.

None of this works. I continue to believe that I'm at risk, and have taken to all manner of ovulation prediction - from temping to OPKs to cervical mucous charting (the details of which I will spare you!!). You would think I was feverishly trying to get pregnant. Instead, I'm feverishly trying to predict the future. I take my temperature daily and if anything seems NOT like the normal BBT I'm horrified. I am obsessively meditating and forcing myself to watch comedy specials daily to keep my mood good - for fear that any type of stress will destroy my cycle. I have to know I will have a period. Before I would have it, then be OK for a week; now I am literally worrying about the next period while buying pads for the current one.

Thursday I broke down and saw the psychiatrist, got a presciption for zoloft and wellbutrin. I have not agreed to take it. I considered just going progress. I'm desperately afraid any medicine will cause massive weight gain, loss of all emotion and some type of horrible effects that will go on long after I stop. I did it for about 10 months before, and this did not happen; I had lessened sex drive, but no problems with ability to orgasm. I also asked for the Wellbutrin as a backup if that happened again.

I have a loooooooong history of stress and have not ever missed a period as a result - but I know it is not impossible (it happened to my partner before). I can't help but worry that if I don't stop with the stress, eventually I WILL experience an annovulatory cycle.

My girlfriend and I are having problems and my job is tanking also, so the stress levels are getting pretty bad.

IS IT TIME TO TRY THE MEDICINE, JUST FOR A MONTH OR TWO? Please someone read. I need some real support with this. Also, I am in Atlanta. If anyone else is, and you have a meetup or anything, I am SO there for that.

There are days when I would take a hug from a stranger if they understood. SERIOUSLY.

In short, if you feel like meds will help you, then take them. Ultimately, you are the one who decides if and how you treat your anxiety, and you can't let fear of the meds get in your way. My roommate did NOT want to take drugs either, but started last December, and she's seen a dramatic shift in her stress levels—a shift for better.

Instead of meds, have you considered some CBT or talk therapy instead? Those take longer to be effective than meds, but the CBT retrains you in your thinking—e.g., how not to catastrophize, and the talk therapy can help in uncovering the underlying factor behind your anxiety, and can alleviate some of the root causes of our fears. I recommend these because they more fully address the real issue (the anxiety) than meds, which merely mitigate the symptoms of stress. But if you go off meds without having addressed the underlying issues, the symptoms have a tendency to come back (as you've experienced). They really do work best in tandem.

Anyway, that's not meant in a preachy kind of way. Again, the what and when of anxiety treatment is entirely up to you.

Anxiety feeds off uncertainty and control. Your constant monitoring of your body, and obsessing over the appearance of your period, are only helping to perpetuate your high levels of stress. Even your original premise—that even one missed period signifies the presence of ovarian cancer—is false. Women can miss periods all the time for many reasons other than cancer; one does not necessarily equal the other. Never mind the fact that YOU'VE YET TO MISS ONE.

I'd recommend you do something—either psychiatrically or medicinally or both, in treating your anxiety. Otherwise, you're just going to be stuck in this cycle indefinitely. If it's messing with your relationships and work, it's time.

I really appreciate the reply. I do have someone I see for ERP therapy. I've been told a few times in the past that a small dose of the meds might make it easier to do the work they are suggesting, since my brain is VERY strong on this front.

Or maybe my willpower is just weak and it's easier to give in to the fears.

I know that you are correct - I'm drawing a really weak, blurry line between a symptom and a condition, ironically, a symptom I don't have and a condition for which I haven't been tested.

It seems like the decision just comes back down to me. And I'm just so scared to make it.

If I were in your shoes, I would try it. The first few weeks can be rough for some people, but it's worth trying for a few months, I think, and see if it's helpful. If it's not you can discontinue. It's tremendously unlikely to have any serious aftereffects should you choose to stop.

I've been there. I was diagnosed with a kidney condition in 2001 and my anxiety went off the charts. I started buying test strips, checking ketones, protein levels, blood pressure--everything. I was convinced everything was a symptom of impending kidney failure. Every ache or pain was ominous. Every headache meant my blood pressure was too high. I fought medication for years. I was convinced it would make me feel less and cause me to be a different person.

I had to try a few before I found one that worked for me, but it is the best thing I've ever done. If you had a heart condition, you would take medication without thought. This is the same thing. This is a physical condition--chemically caused that can be improved by medicinal intervention. If I were you, I'd try it.

I also started answering the what ifs. For me it was, what if my kidneys fail? They have transplants and dialysis. Is it what I want? No. Can I survive it? Yes. The worst case scenario is often like the monster under your bed. Once you look at it for what it really is, it isn't as scary. Best wishes to you.

I went and bought some of that inositol powder. My therapist had suggested it and I've read about it before. I figured I would give it a real college try; if nothing came of it, time to zoloft.

So that's something. I just don't understand why I can't accept things the way other people do. For the life of me, I can't explain why I can't accept that an ultrasound was done and there's nothing wrong. I tell myself everyday - you don't get c word in two months (I had the US on April 28); it's like my mind just is BROKEN.