The Dootsie Has Spoken

Fortune Cookie Soap Company: The Soap Box review

Fortune Cookie Soap Company is probably best known for (you’ll never believe it) their soap, which is created in the shape of fortune cookies! They also have a full range of bath and body products. Their scents range from geeky themes to really classic combinations.

They also happen to have a mystery box. Insert starry-eyed emoji here.

Each box contains eight sample-size products in a newly-created scent that is exclusive to the box for the first few weeks. Past scent themes have included National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Straight On ‘Til Morning and Witch Please. So obviously, this box was designed for me. It’s $20 and shipped four times a year. The price includes shipping. That price also includes a $10 gift voucher for products on the Fortune Cookie Soap Company website, which I think makes it a pretty darn spiffy value. It’s also cruelty-free. Cool!

The package came with a sheet with a picture of each product, a description and a cute Hollywood line to go with it.

“Dressed to Kill” Fortune Cookie Soap – “Dribbles of mulled, red wine, swirled with dark, rich vanilla and cut apples, and a dusting of spice.” This definitely smells like fall to me. I get whiffs of mulling spices, vanilla and a hint of apple. My fortune read “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Perfect! I’m actually having trouble imagining how to use this soap because it’s made exactly like a real fortune cookie; that is to say, it’s a flat disc of soap that’s been pinched and moulded into a fortune cookie shape. I can just imagine it getting wet and falling flat or collapsing.

“Scandal” Bath Powder – I don’t tend to take tub baths, so I didn’t try this product. They describe the scent as “Creaking woods, wind blown leaves, and twisted rose thorns. Add entire bag to bath…enjoy!” I feel like it’s a bit softer that I might’ve expected. It’s slightly earthy, but my nose picks up the rose. It was a pure white with some clumps, a bit like epsom salt but much softer-feeling.

“Pearls & Girls” Perfume Oil – First of all, let me just say, there’s a TON of this product. The site lists the (reusable!) bottle as 5mL, which is a crazy for a sample size. They describe the scent as “Crushed and distilled vanilla creeping with wild jasmine and a splash of juicy pear.” I catch the pear and vanilla, but the jasmine is a bit soft–which is FINE by me! I love this. My tube was green, but it looks like most other reviewers got red.

“Hollywood Dreams” Shampoo Bar – This looks odd… it’s the color of brown sugar with what looks like random bits of oatmeal in it. That’s not what it is at all, it’s just a weird style choice. They describe the scent as: “Brown sugar dusted graham crackers, fresh churned apple butter, sprinkled with nuts and a hint of maple.” I definitely get a baked good scent, more like a crumbled-topped pastry.

“American Royalty” Pomade – This was a tiny tin of a very stiff, waxy pomade that looks like pure beeswax. The scent was really light to me, but they describe it as: “Rose milk, thick honey and warming tobacco blossom wrapped with caramel and notes of mandarin.” I get an earthy, milky smell. I felt like this product was a little thick to work with.

“Glitz & Glamour” OCD Hand Sanitizer – This smells like hand sanitizer on steroids when you first crack the lid, but the alcohol mellows out very quickly. They say this scent is “Wet moss, polished woods, creamy vanilla”. I get woodsy vanilla. This has a fine glitter in it and isn’t drying at all on the hands.

“Tommy Guns & Baseball Bats” Whipped Cream – This little tub of body lotion is amazing. For some reason, it’s minty green, which looks really odd with the golds and reds of this theme. Their scent description reads “Grandma’s hot apple pie, dusted with freshly shaved cinnamon, nutmeg and warm brown sugar, topped with rich, creamy, marshmallow fluff.” I don’t get any apple off of this. The marshmallow fluff is more prevalent to me, with kind of a baking pastry scent to back it up. Way more importantly? This felt awesome. My hands were so soft after I used it.

“Famous” Wax Tart – “Warm amber, wild orchid, fluttering white cotton, sundried herbs.” I got cotton and florals scents off this, but I refuse to use it. It’s a star-shaped pink wax tart… covered in gold glitter. I can just imagine my roommate’s wax warmer covered in glitter forevermore. Such a weird choice! My roommate tried heating the bottom and it melted fast. She said it smelled much sweeter when it melted.

The TL;DR? – I love this. I love this. I love this. I’m already so excited for the winter box… which will be in November (weeping emoji).