Wasting Air

Funny things and questions happen on the way to the potty.Asher has mastered bladder control and using the potty in so many ways, lids up, on a stool, on a seat, on a bush… you name he can go anywhere anytime and yes we even bought the fire engine. He runs with his potty through the living room, “Look Dadda!” he cheers. “Yeah Asher!” we cheer back and then when he turns around to run it back we (his parents) make funny faces at each other and then say “Now please be careful and slowly walk back to the toilet and flush.” As you can imagine we are caught between a rock and a hard place. We want to celebrate his bigger boy achievement but also squirm and wince at the fact he might spill such contents through our home. I bring hand cleanser everywhere we go and we go everywhere.

This morning we were in a public restroom washing our hands when he asked…

“Momma, why don’t they have a blower?”(blower= hand dryer)
“Not sure, they just have paper towels for us to use.”
“Are they afraid that we will waste air?”
I smile and think about the numerous times I’ve repeated the phrase, please don’t waste toilet paper or any paper product for that matter “it comes from trees.” So what would too much air be a waste of? I immediately think about my “air time” with the boys.

Wait, Let go, and ListenAsher at the park, walking by a river, being in nature is completely happy. Usually at the end of a long walk both boys have had snack, sufficient water, and somehow I always seem to forget to “water” and to “feed” myself. I’m too distracted taking care of two, two very mobile children. At the end of the morning’s journey I’m hungry and want to get back to the house to eat lunch, to have some quiet time but I wait. I look behind me and in tow is a joyful skipping child talking to himself, or asking question after question about the world around him. So I let go of the idea that we’re getting back to the house before such and such time and I listen to his conversation with himself, answer his question after question, and I’m present.

Finn loves to make a mess. Finn is eating pancakes which is filled with cream cheese and blueberries, he’s having a hard time eating them so I cut them up and it’s mush. I wait. He tries a spoon and his fingers but basically he’s just picking out the blueberries. I sign and ask if he wants water. After setting down ice cold water, he smiles, takes a sip and then pours all the contents of his water into his bowl. I want to immediately say “no playing with food” and wipe up the mess but I wait. He plays with water, fishes for the pancakes in his now “soup” and eats everything all up until there is only a murky blue and hazy liquid left in his bowl. He’s happy and full.

What happens when Mommy doesn’t want you to do something, but you really want to.

“I cry”
“Does that help?”
“No.”
“What else could we do?”
“Snuggle.”
“Nice, I like to snuggle.”
“We could play.”
“Okay.”
“We could chat.”
“Chat?” (confirming that is what he said.)
“Yeah!”
“My name is Jackson and I don’t have any brothers growing up (note I am nursing Finn at the moment while we are “chatting.”) I go to school. My Daddy doesn’t come and I don’t get scared. ”
“When do you get scared?”
“When it gets crazy.”
“When does it get crazy?'”
“When there are a lot of kids. My Daddy has a baby growing in him, actually.”
“Really?”

And we go on chatting for about 20 minutes.

Wasting Air. I try not to. I listen to Asher’s hysterical and entertaining conversations, his questions about the world around him (“Why are there gutters way way up there?, Does Finn need medicine, he has a stuffy nose? Why can’t I? Why?”). I try not to have a strict agenda. My loud air time has decreased significantly, and I’m making more space to just go with the air flow, listen, and not waste it.

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