Happy 2016! Been working on this chill thing, whatever it is, for a good while. I keep wanting to return to it to work on it more, so I thought I'd pause and share some. Hope you dig it, and thanks a million for listening to my tunes! Big thanks to my friend Tnevs for his guitar on here.

I felt like I was descending into a black hole, such suction that my buttocks cramped up on me from the effort of keeping my legs attached to my body. I had a tenuous grip on sanity which I clung to like the ledge of a building, one handed and snow white from the grip. There was simply no reason to live. No reason to go on. Why not just let go...

And then I realized what was happening.

I hadn't gone to ronaldjenkees.com for new tunes in MONTHS! So I dragged my crippled glutes over to the computer and surfed to RJ's online abode. Ah yes, he'd posted a clip just days ago! I clicked and sat back in my chair, lips quivering, eyes moist and ears twitching.

And there it was. Out of my speakers came an audiophile massage of sound, flowing over my shoulders, past my ample buttocks and down for a little foot rub of love. Within moments I was as good as new, thanks to the soothing masterwork sent via the astral planes of music from the Crown Prince of Sound himself, Ronald Jenkees!

Has life got you down? Are you hitting on half your cylinders? Have you lost the spring in your shock? Try a little RJ, my friends. No need to suffer. Cue it up, before it's too late, before you let go of the ledge because, really, what happens if not even Ronald's next CD can shock you back into coherence? Do you want to take that chance? I know I don't. ALL HAIL THE KING!