Yahoo – “Even the most ardent Bryce Harper haters have to admit one thing: The Washington Nationals outfielder has a strong hair game. We’re not just talking about the hair on his head, either, though it is spectacular…It’s no secret Harper rooted for the Yankees growing up, and there’s been speculation about him joining the club the instant he becomes a free-agent for years now. Knowing that, [Clint] Frazier took the opportunity to do a little recruiting for New York.”

If you’ve ever had any hope of Bryce Harper spurning the Yankees (who he’s long been rumored to be destined for in Free Agency), then this is your best shot. Bryce Harper, the young, cocky dude who mashes dingers all while rocking the best hair in baseball and a full beard. Not on the Yankees because of their nonsensical rules on hair and facial hair. Bryce would have to shave the beard and start rocking a boy’s regular. Not this guy.

Would his glorious lettuce be enough for Harper to say forget that, I’ll go mash somewhere else and look like Jayson Werth if I want? Thats what I’m hoping at least. I love Harper and I think he’d be a cult figure in Boston; a fiery asshole that lives and dies with every play, runs into walls and absolutely rakes? Yea I think Massholes would take a liking to him. Either way, anyone but the Yankees. Thats just what they need, an MVP slugger in his prime. Don’t do it Bryce. Just look at the damage the Yankees have done to lettuce over the years.

PS – I’m already distraught over the lettuce that Yankees top prospect Clint Frazier will soon have to axe. RIP.