As I relive my life in what I tell you. OK, my life and other people's as well. Why limit myself to getting into trouble just on discussion boards?

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - The Television Edition

Situation 1

On "Star Trek: The Next Generation", when something was wrong but they couldn't quite put their finger on it, they'd run a level one diagnostic. But really, did a level one diagnostic EVER turn up anything? And then every time that the level one diagnostic indicated that everything was hunky dory, all hell would break loose. But did they ever figure out that running a level one diagnostic never told them any useful information and so stopped running it? Nope, same thing next time - lather, rinse, repeat. Is there anything *other* than a level one diagnostic? All it seemed to entail anyway was looking under random pieces of paper or open boxes to see if anything was amiss, and if that all went well, then the level one diagnostic was done. How about a level two diagnostic? Or a level three? Or a level "what the hell kind of alien life form has infiltrated the Enterprise NOW" diagnostic?

Situation 2

On the same aforementioned "Star Trek: The Next Generation", they apparently decided that having Worf as the security chief made sense because he was a big bad Klingon and who better to have as head of security, right? Well, then how are you supposed to show that the villain of the week is bigger and badder? How about having him beat up Worf? That would show how strong the villain is, right? No, really, it doesn't. Having Worf get his ass kicked by everyone in sight really just goes to show that he's in the wrong job. What good is a security chief who can't even defend *himself* against intruders?

Situation 3

Again with the aforementioned Worf in "Star Trek: The Next Generation", what the hell was up with his love interests? They set him up with Jadzia and then Troi? Ummm, yeah, thanks, but no. Why couldn't they give him a strong love interest, one who had a mind of her own and who could stand up to him. Heck, she could even be half-Klingon. Oh, right, they did, in K'Ehleyr, who was a great character and brought out a lot in Worf. But, hey, let's just kill her off after one episode, because it's not like we need any good female characters, right? And Worf doesn't need a suitable mate. Instead, let's just saddle him with Alex P. Keaton's younger brother - that'll make good story.

Situation 4

On the television show "Bonanza", what was the main lesson to be learned? That the Cartwrights are good and decent people? That they're rich and have a helluvalotta land but they didn't let it go to their heads? That family comes first? No, the lesson to be learned is NEVER, EVER marry Ben Cartwright. Oh, sure, he might appear to be a desirable and eligible bachelor. But in reality, he's the male equivalent of a black widow. (Is there a word for that?) Look at the facts - he has three sons from three different wives, ALL OF WHOM ARE DEAD. I don't remember this part, but a friend pointed out to me that Little Joe's wife only lived for two episodes. I tell you, all the money and land and charm are useless - it just doesn't pay to marry a Cartwright.