Catholic but not catholic

For those of you who don’t follow Northwest news, Mark Zmuda was the very popular vice principal and swim coach of Eastside Catholic School, a middle and high school in Sammamish, Washington, just outside Seattle. In December, Mark Zmuda was forced to resign after Eastside’s administrators discovered that he had married a man. Gay marriage is legal in Washington.

This has caused an uproar: Students, parents, and other community members have decried the action. “The year is 2014; it’s time to stop firing teachers for being gay,” read one petition. Seattle’s Archbishop J. Peter Sartain replied that Zmuda was terminated not because he’s gay but because his marriage violated church teachings, which Zmuda committed to uphold in his employment contract. Since then, both the chair of the school’s board and the school’s president have resigned.

Clearly, we have not heard the last of this controversy. Does the Catholic Church in fact stand for love and acceptance? Or does it strictly adhere to rigid, exclusionary rules?

To me, admittedly as far from being a Catholic as heaven is from hell, this is an easy question to answer. Of course the Church strictly adheres to rigid, exclusionary rules! That’s the bulwark of most religions; it’s what sets them apart from each other—and, not coincidentally, from secular humanists, agnostics, and atheists. “Catholic” does not mean the same as “catholic,” that is, universal and accepting.

But I’m more interested in a bigger question: Why do people join groups that, as part of their core principles, hate them? Oops, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean “hate them”; I meant “hate what they do.” We all know what a big difference that makes. You can be gay; just don’t do gay stuff (unless you’re a priest; then we’ll reassign you).

The mayor of Seattle is Ed Murray, a gay Catholic. He recently got married—to another guy—at Seattle’s St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral. Why is he a Catholic? Are there no tolerant religions that can give him what Catholicism can? And why did Mark Zmuda sign the employment contract with Eastside Catholic School in the first place? Would African-Americans join the Klan and overlook the racism because they like the socializing? Would Jews join a neo-Nazi stamp-collecting club because of their love of philately? You don’t have to agree with every member of a group you belong to, but aren’t there limits? Log Cabin Republicans no doubt hope that their party will someday soften its views on homosexuality, and meanwhile they can share in their love of capitalism and the exclusion of other groups. But common as it is, gay-bashing is not a tenet of the Republican party, not like it’s a tenet of the Catholic Church. (Why some women are Republicans is another issue entirely.)

It’s one thing to break barriers: Women joining previously all-male golf clubs comes to mind. I’m all for breaking barriers in institutions—companies, schools, the U.S. Presidency. But when a group is explicitly opposed to who you are based on principle, really, what kind of treatment do you expect?

Coud the Catholic Church be more amenable to change than I give them credit for? Maybe the Zmuda case is an opening volley in the war against the Church’s discrimination against LGBT groups. Maybe many more Zmudas will now emerge from Catholic organizations, declaring their gayness and marrying their partners. Maybe several years hence some Pope—perhaps even the current one—will find something in the Bible or hear something from God along the lines of “What we thought about gay love was all wrong. It turns out that love is love, and that it’s perfectly okay—even blessable—for people to marry people of the same sex. Our bad. Wow, do we feel silly.”

In that case, Zmuda is a hero and in the future will be regarded as a trailblazer. I guess he’s still a hero for sticking to his principles, even though they differ markedly from his employer’s principles. But, to all you Catholic LGBT out there, I’m interested in the psychology: What is so desirable about your belonging to the Catholic Church that it supersedes the fact that the Church considers your way of life an abomination? What keeps you there, Mr. Zmuda, Mr. Murray? You have a choice; you can switch churches. Why do you stay?