The NHS is getting a present for its 70th birthday. It’s the money it’s been starved of for years. Apparently this is a “Brexit bonus.” Except ministers have already accepted there’s no such thing, so how is it going to be paid for? Prepare for a tax hike.

Theresa May’s hoping for positive news to end a dreadful week, where she’s been trying to keep every side of her party happy on Brexit — admittedly a close to impossible task. We explore the double-dealing that’s landed her in even more trouble.

Why has Sir Christopher Chope become the poster boy for upskirting? We try to understand what’s inside the head of the MP who managed to unite the warring Tories in disgust.

And with some kind of football tournament underway, we explore the sorry tales of politicians who’ve pretended to be fans of the beautiful game.