Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Being Deliberate

My second year of teaching came to a close three weeks ago, and I am nearly two weeks into my first graduate course.

My head and my heart are struggling to catch up.

Adulthood is no longer something that I can smirk at and roll my eyes toward.

It's real and it's here and it needs my attention immediately.

As I slug through the motions of finding a new car (my car was totaled about two weeks ago when a massive deer decided to stand its ground in the middle of the highway), learning how to budget, reflecting on last year, and trying to honestly process the readings I'm assigned, I keep returning to the same thoughts.

Are my actions reflecting my ideals?

How can I make sure that all that I am learning changes the parts of me that need to change?

How the hell do I relax and find a healthy work/life balance?

I don't exactly have peace right now, but I know that deliberate decisions have to come before the peace does.

So, for tonight at least, I am making a deliberate decision to shut this computer down and run until my thoughts run out.