A Cracked Look At The Impact Of Spam

from the you've-got-some-insight-on-your-comedy dept

As you may know, I'm a pretty big fan of Cracked.com. They also share a lot of values with Techdirt. Recently, they published an angry tirade against spammers that's also an interesting look at how years of steadily-increasing crap have shaped user habits and expectations online. Examples include things like browser toolbars, which are almost universally hated and yet still bundled with lots of software and foisted upon users during the install process, often through a confusing combination of checkboxes and accept/decline buttons:

Can you imagine how we would jump down the throat of any real-world business that tried that shit? Imagine ordering your lunch at McDonald's, but when they got to the "fries" question, they phrased it as, "Don't you not want to not have fries with that?" Then, no matter how you answered that ridiculous triple negative, they told you, "By pulling forward to the next window, you are agreeing to buy fries" and shoved them into your car anyway, claiming, "No, you said you wanted them, so now you have to pay for them. No take-backs!" Also, the fries are poison.

It also takes on the fact that most web users ignore virtually all advertising, since so much of it is untrustworthy to a degree that old media rarely reached:

On TV, even if the ad is laced with misleading information (no, Axe Body Spray probably won't lead to instant female-on-male street rape), at least we know that the product is real. Toyota isn't selling you a cardboard car. If you order one of those stupid robe/blanket things, they're going to deliver that retarded, sex-repellant monstrosity to your house. The few ads that do reek of scam are the late night commercials (Enzyte, bullshit diet scams, one-year online colleges), and at least you know when they're coming. You can separate them from the legitimate products. On the net, you just have to assume that everything you see is out to screw you, the only exceptions being brands that you already know.

It's an entertaining read, and one that underlines one of the biggest ways online advertising is different from traditional advertising. When space was limited, the battle was for exposure; when space is unlimited, the battle is for trust and relevance in an increasingly uncertain and noisy world.

You know, the first quote there remembers me of GameStop employees trying to force us to get a magazine subcription, buy a DLC for a game I don't have or get a pre-order bundle for a game I have no interest in, and insisting on doing it despite saying time and time again that I don't want it (though I don't blame the emplyees, I found that the ones doing it are the managers).

"when space is unlimited, the battle is for trust and relevance in an increasingly uncertain and noisy world"

You almost got it, but like an 8 year old trying to understand rocket science, you are missing a few important details.

The reality is that space is never unlimited, because PEOPLE have limited time to absorb. It doesn't matter how vast the internet is, it doesn't matter how fast you can deliver spam in any way shape or form, people only have a limited time to deal with it.

What happens when most of the email you get is spam? You don't read "only the good stuff", you basically turn the email app off, or you white label only your friends, or you create disposible email accounts you use once and ignore.

It isn't a battle for trust - it's a battle for the good companies and individuals to even get notices, because the spam, crap, and nonsense is burying them.

Trust is nice, but when you stop paying attention to one source system completely because it is mostly spam or mostly worthless, then everyone else loses.

Try reading the article that's being cited first

What happens when most of the email you get is spam? You don't read "only the good stuff", you basically turn the email app off, or you white label only your friends, or you create disposible email accounts you use once and ignore.

Wow, not reading that at all. I don't see you suggesting that people are dropping email because it's useless spam filled crap, or that myspace went the same way.

Read #3 on the list. Here, I'll even cite and quote it for you since you obviously think the bold text is just there as a cosmetic design:

Re: Try reading the article that's being cited first

Yet again, it doesn't point out that more and more people are 100% turning off email, and only accept messages through their blackberry, or through facebook, or through IM style programs.

It doesn't point out that all the yelling and screaming to get attention is in fact the cause of the problem, not the solution. It doesn't discuss who people tune out of entire mediums or sites when they become too piled up with the very things we seek to avoid (think myspace, and Facebook teeters on the edge for many every day - how's your farm doing?)

Point #3 is more about people not wanting to deal with companies that spam or use aggressive mailings - but has little to do with people disconnecting from the medium altogether.

Re: Re: Try reading the article that's being cited first

I'm very sorry that the article and my post don't make the precise, specific points you want to make. I can totally understand how that would immediately drive you to lobbing childish insults in anger - it's such an egregious violation of your deluded belief that you're at the centre of the universe. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your creepy personal vendetta against me and your obsessive need to find something, anything to freak out about in every post I write.

Perhaps, if you have so much great insight, you should take a break from your porn blog and and start writing about this stuff yourself.

Re: Re: Re:

You need to learn to write more clearly!

Everyone else seems to have understood it (of course, everyone else seems to have actually read the linked article). So I conclude that it's you who needs to learn to read better. Or just be less obsessed with attacking me at even the flimsiest of opportunities (it can't be healthy buddy)

Re:

Great article, but Cracked are part of the problem

Just about to share this article with everyone I know. I attempted to copy/paste the text "On the Net, you just have to assume that everything you see is out to screw you, the only exceptions being brands that you already know."

And when I paste it into Notepad (because damned scammers have made me too bleeping paranoid not to) I notice they added the following to my "copy"

One of the reasons I won't allow commercials in my view on the internet. They are always clamoring for attention and I trust none. About the time you think it might be ok, up comes one of those warnings about spammers have managed to slip in an iframe with malware links.

Installing programs are nearly as bad. Most of them I wind up saying no thank you to. I don't want the trash that comes with it.

Maybe the first thing I do with a new computer is take out the all the crap 'pre-installed'. Most of it I don't want and the rest of it's gonna terminate in a month or two, so it's not really useful.

Re:

Oh the number of people I've asked "Have you got a virus scanner?", and get the response, "Yeah, it came with Nortons"...

You got it three years ago? Have you ever actually PAID Nortons anything? You realise that's... you know what, forget it. I'm sure your trouble has nothing to do with a virus, I'm also equally sure I'm not plugging your computer into my network...

I love Cracked but I wish Christina H. would go away. I don't understand how Cracked could still keep a person like her, after she wrote an article recently about how racism and stereotyping are wrong, but almost only when it's directed at her race, and how only white people are racists.

Re:

I don't understand how Cracked could still keep a person like her, after she wrote an article recently about how racism and stereotyping are wrong, but almost only when it's directed at her race, and how only white people are racists.

I know the article you mean. At the very beginning, she said something along the lines of "I suspect that many of the things I talk about here are true for people of other minorities too, but I don't want to assume or put words in anyone's mouth, so I'll talk about the things I've experienced as a Chinese-American."

That seems totally reasonable to me. And I didn't get anything out of the article that said "only white people are racists"

Solutions

So I'd be just as opposed to SOPA-style blocking of badware sites as I would be to SOPA-style blocking of anything else, but this seems like an area where large players such as Google could really make a difference.

When you go to a known phishing website in Chrome or IE or any other major browser, you get alarm bells galore warning you not to visit that site. I'd appreciate it if my mom's browser would warn her about deceptive checkboxes.

Spam is preferred................

I prefer spam to TV commercials. (1) email programs come with a junk mail filter - a function I would love to see on my "smart" TV,(2) those "dear trusted friend - I want you to help me screw my former company/government/etc by using your bank account to launder money" are far more entertaining, and, 3) I don't have to sit through a commercial demeaning women by playing off insecurity regarding their clothing, makeup, below-the-waste hygiene and need to catch a rich husband, followed by a news story about celebrating international women's rights day"

How about tv commercials?

In the prehistoric 1950's one hour tv shows ran 52 minutes. There were half-hour shows that consisted of 27 minutes of content and 3 one-minute "word from our sponsor" messages. Those shows can't be shown anymore. It would require almost one third of the show to be deleted. One cable channel used to show the old 70's Dragnet shows (maybe they still do) and to avoid massive cutting they digitally increased the tempo, but not the frequency, of the soundtrack. Sgt. Friday's machine-gun delivery now sounded like a tobacco auctioneer. And unlike web ads there is no blocker. You can mute the sound, go make coffee or go to the loo but the show isn't going to resume until they have had their say. Five minutes later they will go it again. And again. Why do we download pirate tv shows?

I half-expected the article to mention Blue Mountain, an online greeting card company. It was (and may still be) a legitimate online business - it's certainly a good concept, or it was. But online greeting cards, with Blue Mountain being one of the most oft-used names, was effectively destroyed when it became heavily used as a ruse to get people to visit sites that did drive-by malware downloads.