my progression through twin mommyhood

twins

In a world saturated with cameras and pictures E V E R Y W H E R E I still value taking time aside to have a profession take our pictures.

I hoped to be that professional but, along with master seamstress and crafty girl extraordinar, I’ve fallen short. Not to say I can’t still accomplish it, it just seems I lack the time (wonder why) to devote becoming really great at any of them.

Fortunately, right before the boys were born I came across a picture on a twin mama blog that I about died over. It was sooo precious. Lucky for me, that twin mama is DFW based! What are the odds?! So I sought out the photographer and she’s taken our pictures since.

I cannot express how much I appreciate pictures to document this time in life that is flying by but there’s something to be said about “special” time set aside to have your picture taken.

Oh how I love these two and what they have done to fill a huge void in our lives.

Like this:

The Countdown T-minus 21 days until I leave corporate American and join the 29% of mothers who don’t work outside the home. Notice I didn’t say, “Moms who don’t work.” Because I know that being a SAHM is going to be a LOT of work. I was talking to my mom last night (who was a SAHM) and she asked if I was getting excited. Of course! I’ll get to spend my days with two of my most favorite people. She also mentioned how it’s “best for the boys if I stay home”. I wavered in my agreement and Momo stated, “Well you believe that, otherwise you wouldn’t be choosing to stay home.” I agreed. Reluctantly. But I don’t agree.

Sorry Mom, still love you.

This is the same reason why my (predominately) male coworkers have all accepted my resignation with ease. Over the year that I’ve worked with this team, almost all of them have put their foot in their mouth regarding this exact subject.

During a conversation with one manager, when he asked why I don’t work any weekends, he actually said, “I didn’t allow my wife to work; her job was to raise our boys”. As I tried to keep my face passive, I refrained from commenting.

Another said, “I was always proud that my wife raised our kids and not someone in a daycare.” Again, no comment.

The best one was a male manager, whose wife was a teacher before kids, she claimed she could tell a difference in the students whose mom’s stayed home with them, from the children whose mom didn’t. The students with SAHM were better students. This time I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I straight up call him out, “So what are you saying? My kids are going to be terrible in school because, hellooooo, I’m a working mom.” He realized what he had said and attempted to back peddle but there was no where to go. This same manager, said I was the best HR manager he’s worked with in his 30+ year career.

It’s not fair of anyone to say that it’s best for the children if one of the parents stays home. That’s not necessarily true for everyone. As my Google statistic above mentioned, only 29% of mom’s stay home. So we’re then suggesting that the other 71% of the children in the U.S. are not being raised right? That’s not fair.

Plenty of moms and dads work because they want to work. It’s their choice and it’s not always because they have to work. There are so many great daycare/schooling options and nannies have become a more affordable option for many families. Nanny-cams and background checks make for better hiring decisions. When both parents have a career there can be more expendable income which means great family vacations and memories and less stress and worry about how to pay the bills. What happened to the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”. Remember?

If it had been my choice when my maternity leave was over, I miiiiight have still chosen to go back to work. I was really ready for some adult interaction and feeling like I was contributing to something big. I had been on bed rest for two months and then home with the boys for three and half months. I was ready to get out of the house.

The biggest reason I’ve elected to stay home is because we haven’t been able to balance the demands of our careers well and me staying home has become an option. Most importantly, I WANT to stay home and strengthen my relationship with the Nuggets. I will definitely go back to work, sooner than later. When that is, I don’t know.

So although I am very excited for this new SAHM gig, I’m not in agreement to say it’s the only way to “raise your kids right”. If that was the case, I’ve been doing it wrong up to this point and that’s not true at all. Just look at these boys! Our Memorial Day weekend was W E T. Stormy. Flooding. Dreary. We had a bunch of family over on Sunday and thank God, it let up for a bit. Enough for us to sit on the porch, catch up and the boys got to run around outside.

Due to the rain we’ve been taking them on basic chores with us. They run as loudly as possible through the grocery store. Our local Tom Thumb loves us. I hope. Big helpers. XOXO

Like this:

Both of them can say Mama. But no, they call me Daa. The Hubs is Dada but I don’t get to be Mama.

It kind of hurts. It is stupid. I know.

But they say “baa” for bath, “nana” for banana and “nigh-nigh” for night-night (obviously).

Why can’t I be Mama?

Weston says it clear as day. But when I walk in the door he yells, Daaa! I’m like, noooo I’m Mama!

At what age are they going to start addressing me as Mama?

It took forever to get to be a mommy, why won’t my children call me mommy?!

I’m totally overreacting.

This past weekend we went to an event called Art on the Greene. It’s in Arlington but there were artists from all over that came to this event. It was free and went on all weekend at the Richard Greene Park – in between our two big stadiums. Globe Life/Rangers and Cowboys Stadium – I am still not okay with the whole AT&T deal…

We went towards the end on Sunday because that is when the weather finally cooperated and was nice.

Like this:

He walks like a little Frankenstein with his little arms sticking straight out in front of him for balance.

He walked six weeks after Weston started walking. He is just shy of 14 months old.

Both boys were pulling themselves up on stuff around nine months, which I thought was pretty young. We thought walking would happen pretty early for these Nuggets but not exactly.

I started to worry that Cor wasn’t walking because his brother is a bit of a bull. No fears of falling, pushing, knocking things over for Weston. And that includes Corbin in his wake of distruction.

I think Corbin just didn’t want to fail. Weston had no problem taking a step and falling over. Corbin walked across the room pretty much the first time he let go of of my hand. Slightly wobbly but all the way across a room.

This is me to the T. I like to know I am good at something, or that I will be successful, before trying it. I think it’s a character flaw because it stops me from even trying some things. The Hubs is the opposite. He thinks he can do anything. Everything. Over the years witnessing The Hubs be successful at stuff that he has never done before, has inspired me to try new things.

Failure is a learning opportunity. I like to learn new things and in order to learn, I must first try.

I can only hope that Corbin learns that lesson sooner than I did (if he shares the same reservations that I did). Maybe he’ll even learn it from his twin brother.

It was my goal was to limit their TV to zilch. I’d say I did pretty well.

They’ve been in the living room with the TV on (especially since football season started) but they aren’t really watching it. They look at the screen for a minute and then move on to other things. Like climbing the fire-place. Or opening the cabinets. Or their personal fav, trying to turn the blue-cable-box-button on and off 9875768 times. Especially during a nail-biting moment of the game.

I read a bunch on how TV under the age of two can be detrimental to development. Of course it’s probably not as a big of a deal as it’s made out to be (as is most things regarding children…why do they try to scare us?). But I took it to heart.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that kids under 2 years old not watch any TV and that those older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming. The first 2 years of life are considered a critical time for brain development. TV and other electronic media can get in the way of exploring, playing, and interacting with parents and others, which encourages learning and healthy physical and social development. Read more from the AAP here.

I, being the sleep Nazi queen, also read that it can affect their sleep. SOLD. No TV if it means it affects good sleep. Because good sleep means happy and healthy and smart babies. The Hubs agreed and supported me. Was he upset during baseball season? Maybe.

Next, is the fact that I want to actually play and interact with my kids. As full time working parents, we literally have 30-60 minutes with them in the morning and 90-120 minutes with them after work, during the week. And a, way too short, 48 hours with them on Saturdays and Sundays.

Example: My nieces and nephews were in town. We turned on Frozen (never seen it) and I was completely sucked in. Did the boys watch? Nope. Did Weston almost fall off the step because I wasn’t paying attention. Yep. Quality parenting right there.

To each their own on parenting styles and decisions made for their kiddies. I am proud of sticking to my guns and actually preventing the boys from being sucking into the boob tube. XOXO Lindsey