BREAKING NEWS: Jailbreak for Paris Hilton and a Parting Gift to Boot – a New Bracelet!

According to the website TMZ.com, Paris Hilton is being fitted for an ankle bracelet (apparently non-diamond) to enforce her new reassignment to house arrest. Authorities decided to release Hilton from jail due to medical reasons, this according to Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department spokesperson, Steve Whitmore.

Reporters repeated tried to get more information regarding Paris’ medical condition during a press conference held in front of the jail where she was released early this morning. But spokesperson Whitmore said that due to confidentiality laws he could not discuss even the slightest health-related details. Apparently it did not have anything to do with the sleeping mask her mother was planning to give her to help her get in the mood sleep while in prison.

Paris will be under house confinement in her West Hollywood home for 40 days, where she will only have a 3000-4000 ft. radius of freedom. Her jail cell was 96 square feet so according to the philospeak.com accounting department, that is a measly increase of ~3900%. After the 40 days are up, Whitmore says she will have “fulfilled her debt to society.” Ummm….that sounds about right, LMAO!

Whitmore made it clear that Paris was not released early — she was reassigned, kind of like Milton Waddams move to the storage room in Office Space, only in reverse. She is technically still in custody.

Fortunately for the readers of philospeak.com, we were first on the scene to acquire new images of Paris Hilton under house arrest. Now That’s Hot!