Friday, June 03, 2005

This Blog Has Moved

Rare

My kids were beyond excited when they saw this fellow in the front garden. Woodpeckers are shy, so I couldn't get very close to him to take a picture. And he flew away when I tried to get closer. When we checked the birdfeeder, we could tell he'd been at it. What's even better is that the next day, there was a pair of them in the front yard.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Noisy

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Sally Holmes (I think)

I think this is Sally Holmes, based on a 'web search for "rose single climber white dark green leaves", but I swear I ordered something else. I suppose it doesn't matter since this rose is spectacularly beautiful and healthy.

I've been really busy lately, so I haven't had a lot of time for my blog.

ED Survey

Age?: 40
Height?: 5' 7"
Weight?: 204 pounds
Lowest Weight?: 130 pounds
Highest Weigh?: 240 pounds
What weight do you want to weigh?: 150 pounds, but I'll take 195. My hunch is that if I ever get down to 150, I'll want to weigh less. When I was 130 pounds, I wanted to lose 5 more pounds.
What eating disorder do you have?: I have Bulimia.

In Depth

How many calories do you eat in a day, on average?: 2000, but that is only becauase I'm in therapy now, and they told me that if I want to get well, I need to eat at least that much.
Do you throw up your food on occasion?: I tried, but I wasn't very good at it.
Do you want to look like a supermodel/actress?: Not really. I'm 40, and I don't want to look like a young teenager or even like I'm in my early 20s. I want to look my age. I'd like to thin, tho.
Are you in some sort of extracurricular sport, i.e. soccer or track?: Extracurricular? I swim. I ride my bike to work, sometimes. I chase my kids around the playground.
Has anyone ever teased you about your weight?: I don't think so. My mother made some cruel comments about my body.
Have you ever fasted? If so, for how long?: I used to be able to fast for 5 days at a time, but as I've gotten older, I'm unable to do that.
Do you take laxatives to get rid of food/calories?: No.
Are you 'inspired' by models/actresses?: No, besides I know they are airbrushed.
Have you ever been hospitalized for your ED?: NO.
Have you ever ingested Ipecac to induce vomiting?: Yes.
Have you ever tried to recover from your eating disorder?: I'm in therapy.

Body Image Q's

Do you constantly see yourself as fat, even though others say you are not?: I'm more than 50 pounds overweight, so, yes, I see myself as fat. When I was at or below 150 pounds, I didn't think I was fat, but I thought I had fat thighs and tummy.
What part of your body would you change?: I'd have my prepregnancy breasts and tummy.
On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your body?: 5, it's functional.
Do you judge your value/merit solely on your weight/body?: Not solely, but I'm sure I'd be a better person if I were thin.

Because of your body appearance/weight, have you become severely depressed?: I don't think so, but I was very depressed. I'm on meds, now.
Do you constantly compare your bodies to supermodels/actresses?: Absolutely

Health/Food

Do you think you eat healthy enough?: I try.
Are you morbidly afraid to eat carbs?: Not really, but they can be trigger foods for me.
Fat grams?: I was fat phobic.
Calories?: I count calories.
Are you often tired/fatigued?: Before the SSRI, I was all the time.
Do you feel more energized after eating food?: No.
Do you eat meat?: Yes.
Do people tell you look sick or famished?: No.
Have you ever thrown up blood?: No.
Is your heart bpm above 49?: Yes.
Do you have fainting spells from lack of eating?: No, but I have low blood pressure.

Other Stuff

Do you think the media is at fault for the prevalence of eating disorders?: I think it plays a part
What's your opinion of Pro-Ana?: I'm totally against it. It's a bunch of children whining.
Do you have any other mental disorders? Depression
What's your favorite food to eat?: Donuts and danishes
Favorite drink?: Latte.
Do you often wish you didn't have an ED?: Yes.

Oops

The theme for Photo Tuesday this week is Oops. Who needs a neckhole? When I was converting this t-shirt from a bound neckhole to a banded neckhole, I forgot to take into account that the band is wider than binding.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Yellow

Memorial Day

We didn't do much to celebrate. My grandfather was in the trenches in France during World War I. He had horrible nightmares for the rest of his life from that experience, but he escaped the trenches unscathed physically which was probably something of a miracle. I wish I had known him. He died just after my parents were married, about 20 years before I was born.

My father and his brothers served during World War II. After the bombing in Hawaii, they tried to enlist, but they weren't US citizens, so the military organizations turned them down. My father went to work in the shipyards in Richmond, California. After a year, the military was ready to naturalize all comers, so my father and his brothers enlisted. My father never saw any action. He joined the Army Corp of Engineers because he was a civil engineer. The Army, in it's great wisdom, sent him to school to become a civil engineer; they needed more. He did really well on a test they gave everyone in his unit, which was why he was picked. When he raised the issue that he was already a degreed engineer, he was told to go anyway. Considering what my grandfather went through, I am grateful my father did not have a similar experience. His brothers joined the Navy, and they both saw action in the Pacific.

DH's father was also in the Navy. He served in the Pacific, as well. He's gone now, and DH says he never would talk about it, but I wish I could talk to him about it.

Friday, May 27, 2005

I hate travel!

I had to go to New Mexico last Tuesday and Wednesday for business. Then Chungita got sick on Thursday. It's like the whole week is gone with nothing to show for it. Well, I did get a little accomplished for work while in NM.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Fun in SF

Are we BABES or what? Well, I'm not in the picture, but they are still beautiful without me. Left to right, LoriB, Tailypo, Irene, JenS, Quesie, and Verosews. We had fabulous takeout dim sum, swapped fabric, patterns, and notions, and went shopping. I gave a tutorial on the FBA (full bust alteration) a la Neefer.