Five Gems From Last Night’s “Real Housewives” Episode

This week’s “Real Housewives Of New Jersey” was AC all the way, baby! While the Atlantic City plotline seemed perfectly made for drama, there was little to none. Only talks about Lexi (who got back from Greece without going to a water park or contracting some terrible waterborne disease), buh-bies and Teresa’s packing skills. Let’s take a look at what the girls were up to in the Jerz this week…

Danielle’s kids are better at dating than she is. This isn’t a surprise. As soon as they showed her tearing up while dumping good-for-absolutely-nothing Steve, you had to know she was dating-deluded. The stories never matched up. Teresa said their relationship was about daytime blow-jobs, Danielle claimed he was the light of her life after “the book” incident. Finally we get some clarity—from Danielle’s girls: She’s giving up the goodies. Busted. The smart girls that they are they also call Steve out on his I-want-to-see-your-kids-still line. Did these dating smarts skip a generation with Danielle?

Teenagers are, basically, unappreciative four year-olds.. Jacqueline had to know tat taking her high school daughter to get professional photos would start trouble. Not only was the photographer creep-town with the fans and scarves but Jacqueline watching and hurling pointers at Ashley only made for one aggro mother-daughter portrait.

NJ plastic surgeons are actually more responsible than I thought they’d be! How very anti-Dr. 90210 was Teresa’s doctor? Asked his opinion on the full B vs. the small C—he was conservative. Shocking. He doesn’t want to turn Teresa into a boobilicous wack-job. Loves it! Her husband on the other hand…

Steve is gone, thank god! And he couldn’t be happier about it. Did you see him holding back the huge grin while being dumped at the diner? He’s thinking, Man, I going to pull so much tail down at the shore this summer!

It’s one episode on, one episode off. Last week’s show was great, this week’s is eh. This week’s was eh, next week’s season finale (already? I’m just getting to know the ladies!) is going to be A-mazing. Tables knocked over, husbands holding wives back. Cannot wait!