Unfortunately it's the kind of great news that's exciting to nobody but me, but great news nonetheless. For the last couple of weeks I've been scouring the web (bringing the entire weight of my web-searching skill to bear, which I'm sure Almighty Benny has come to respect greatly in the past couple of months) for an old copy of the LEGO SPACE HISTORY that was floating around in the early nineties.

Today I had the bright idea of pulling out one of my dusty old mainframes and seeing if it still booted up. And there, in a mirror of a backup of an earlier drive on the secondary drive of that ancient computer (specifically, D:/C_DRIVE/BACKUP/~MYDOC01/OLD/BRIKWARS_DEV/TEXT_SOURCE/), I found them!

Why is that exciting? These were a big inspiration when I was developing the BrikWars universe, or at least what little you saw of it reflected in the 1998 StarShip Civilizations. Erik Wilson had taken the events and Lego lines of the previous two decades and turned them into a history of the Lego galaxy, from Classic Space to Futurons to the arrival of Mega Bloks and the corruption of overspecialized parts that made the nineties so painful. The whole thing was nothing more than a giant pile of rec.toys.lego in-jokes, but it was very inspiring to me as a young(ish) lad.

Here in their original unaltered text files, I present LEGO SPACE HISTORY 2.0 by Erik Wilson, circa 1995:

I'm posting these here in Non-Dimmies because over here I can feel mostly confident that you guys at least know how to read. Once you've had a look at those, here's my thinking. Taking Erik's work as a model, and considering the possibility of continuity with 1998's StarShip Civilizations, and maybe even some of the Timeline of Events that Happened from Lego Wars II, and reflecting on the real-world developments in plastic brick product lines over the last thirty years . . . keeping all of that in mind . . .

What kinds of major events do you think you might see in a historical timeline of the BrikWars universe so far?

I think it's clear that any real history of BrikWars is about the minifigs, and any history of the minifig has to start with the SpaceMan, for the simple reason that everything before that was so boring by comparison that no one bothered to write it down. (I know there were like police and nurse minifigs or something before that, but I think we can all agree that the only reason they existed was to serve as support specialists at the genetic engineering facilities where the SpaceMen were engineered.)

The SpaceMan! Where did he come from, and for what dark purpose was he created? Little is known about the eons preceding Galactic Historical Cycle 1,977, but the primitive figures surviving from the Time Before SpaceMen seem to indicate the ravaged remains of civilization on the brink of extinction.

Through chemikal analysis, we have evidence that Astro-Binding Substance was in use as early as Cycle 1,963. It is believed that the interdimensional disruptions caused by mishandled ABS utilization may have had mutagenic effects on an earlier species; records of earlier humanoids are difficult to verify but seem to sport a variety of disfiguring mutations, from stunted and limbless homonculi to strange noodle-limbed giants. Theories abound as to whether the earlier civilizations were aware of the effects of uncontrolled ABS, and whether they decided to continue using it anyway, despite bringing about their own near-destruction. However, too little is currently known about these early eras to make any definitive conclusions.

that's all well and good, but considering the time of the post I'm fully expecting to click on one of those links and find that it's just the 2 girls 1 cup video or something.
If not then I'm seriously excited about this. I'll definitely read those after midterms.

the thing you didn't read wrote:0) THIS DOCUMENT Permission is granted to reproduce and distribute thisdocument as long as it is unmodified, correctly attributed to theauthor and no money is charged for its distribution. Questionsand comments are welcome and may be sent to the author at theaddress listed above. Thanks are due to LEGO inc. for makingcool toys, but LEGO is in no way responsible for the use ormisuse of this document.

Often, literally, a pillow fight but may include similar situations like volleyball, particularly when wardrobe is skimpy and the action is bouncy.

the thing you didn't read wrote:0) THIS DOCUMENT Permission is granted to reproduce and distribute thisdocument as long as it is unmodified, correctly attributed to theauthor and no money is charged for its distribution. Questionsand comments are welcome and may be sent to the author at theaddress listed above. Thanks are due to LEGO inc. for makingcool toys, but LEGO is in no way responsible for the use ormisuse of this document.

NO!!!!! By quoting from that document you reproduced it in modified form! And now so did I! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE

So anyway, building further, I imagine that since all the StarShip Civilizations were flying around in 1998 there have been terrible developments. Damage from interstellar warfare must certainly have disrupted the ABS power sources in many of the StarShips, leading to interdimensional ruptures in the space-time continuum. Broken sections of Civilizational ships are scattered across forgotten worlds, proud spacefarers are reduced to primitive feudal tribes, populations of past civilizations are brought forward through tears in the timestream, and creatures of dark sorcery, alternate timelines, and non-Euclidean dimension are allowed into our universe through the weakening of the interdimensional fabric. Castles and ziggurats appear next to starbases and skyscrapers without so much as a by-your-leave, and battle inevitably ensues.

I figure that the mysterious properties of A.B.S. could explain a whole lot of BrikWars' genre-crossing weirdness, if we pump the briknobabble out hard enough.

Am I the only one who read it? Well, I did. It was unimpressive. I got put off by the excessive naming of seemingly unimportant tribes of Trons and Minifigs and Apricots and Emperor Mob Boss Player.

I seriously questioned your sanity and judgment of quality of old documents and things. It was also quite disheartening to see the sentences of one entire paragraph start with "he". I mean, come on, crazy LegoWars people! LEGO makes <i>cool</i> toys? Understatement. Of. Last. Century!

Done.

Often, literally, a pillow fight but may include similar situations like volleyball, particularly when wardrobe is skimpy and the action is bouncy.