There were a lot of winners at the Globes the other night. But, if you read the full column yesterday, you know that in my mind, one person stood triumphant over them all. That would be Bradley Cooper’s mother. Click here for a refresher. In her jacket and sunglasses, which she kept on even during the telecast, that woman stole my heart and I’ll never get it back. Even her name is awesome:

Gloria Campano.

Come on!

Why would anyone ever want to hang out with anyone else when Gloria Campano is around?

Here she is, throwing up two fingers, posing with her son and Leonardo DiCaprio, also with his mother, at The Weinstein Company party. Now you know why both of them have commitment issues.

Leo did manage some time with his current supermodel vagina – thank you Tina Fey – at the CAA party though. If I don’t look too hard I can almost convince myself that they are gazing at each other lovingly before coming in for a kiss.