I spend so much time waiting at red traffic lights, I thought I’d make a blog about them! No, it isn’t a moan about how often the lights are on red as I reach them and wait (for what seems like twenty minutes) for them to change. Nor is it a complaint as to the number of times that the lights are green on my approach to them, but they change to red just as I get to them (and then stay red for what seems like twenty minutes). I don’t even have any bad words to say about the traffic lights that are out of order on major crossroads that really need them, and cause traffic chaos because nobody seems to know what to do when the traffic lights are out of order (and seem to be out of order for what seems like twenty weeks). And I won’t mention part time traffic lights, that seem to only be in operation when the traffic is quiet. When the roads are busy, the part time traffic lights are not in use. Well, not in use until you expect them not to be in use, when you find that they really are, and have just added to the fact that the sheer volume of traffic wasn’t the reason you have been queuing for twenty minutes – the part time lights have joined their full time colleagues and keep everyone waiting for that length of time.

No, this isn’t to moan… I wouldn’t dream of moaning. You bring about what you think about, remember? I must always be thinking of red traffic lights…

Actually though, red traffic lights are not such a bad thing. For one, they cause us to slow down. Well, to stop, actually, to pause. To rest. When they go green, then we are off again until the next red light.

I keep wondering if there is anything that I can be doing while I am waiting – and not just at traffic lights – that will benefit me in the long term, and keep me calm.

There is one thing that I do all of the time and not notice I’m doing it. That’s breathing. Just concentrating on my breathing, and taking in deep breaths helps me to feel alive. Breathing also helps to centre me, so if my mind is racing away over something I saw, or something I have to do, my breathing brings me back to myself. Going back to being in the car again, I can’t do anything while I am at those lights apart from wait, so my breathing will stop me from stressing myself out! I don’t mean to gloat, but I enjoy it when I am calmly waiting at the red light, while the person in the car next me is revving their engine and moving backwards and forwards in anticipation that the lights will change to green that second. Which, as we all know isn’t the case – they take twenty minutes to change.

So, if you see someone calmly waiting at a red traffic light, breathing deeply, it’s probably me. I’ll also be giving thanks for those special seconds of me time that I’m getting there. I may look like I’m going to go from nought to sixty as soon as the lights go to green, when you’re waiting in the car next to me, but I’m testing you to see how wound up you are. As soon as the lights change, if you’re not off like a coiled spring I will know that you too (whether you know it or not) are also grateful for your twenty minutes of ‘me time’ a day.

A few years ago, I was fed up in my third job. I’d been there for a few years, and, due to the nature of the business, the company went through a radical change. Well, it wasn’t really that radical as they had a major change round every six months or so, but this change really affected the department I worked in. The department was no longer needed within the new structure of the company. ‘Professional’ positions were being introduced, and these positions were there to replace the job we were doing. Naturally, we had to apply for these positions, and go to an assessment.

I’m not the best in interviews. They bring out the shyness in me, and I feel I come across as a blundering idiot. I’m sure I don’t, but I could perform better than I do. Eventually, the assessment came and went, and I was told afterwards that I couldn’t do the job. Needless to say I wasn’t happy, and went out after work to ‘celebrate’.

A few weeks later, the changes had been brought in, and I was having to read up on the procedures for the job that I had to move back into (that I had done for several years before eventually working in the department that had just been closed down. It’s a very long story, and the details will probably be filled in, in future blogs.) I was due to be re-trained.

Around the same time of this upheaval at work, but several weeks earlier, I’d attended the Mind, Body and Spirit exhibition at the G-Mex complex in Manchester. While I was there, I’d stumbled upon a stall that sold spells in boxes. One of the spells was a new job spell which I’d bought. I was advised that this particular spell was extremely potent, but would work even better if I also bought the successful interview spell as well. Thinking about interviews made me shudder, so I decided that I would just buy the one spell. And after mooching around the exhibition or a few more hours, I went home and put my spell to one side.

Now, back to the time of me being fed up at work. (I do sound as though I’m moaning quite a lot, don’t I? It’s just to emphasise things, I’ll admit it!) On the Thursday night, I’d decided enough was enough. I got home, opened the box and read the instructions for the spell. Inside the box were four bees wax candles, a bottle of patchouli oil, and a scroll with an incantation written on it. I had to anoint the candles with the oil, then light the candles in a particular order, and then recite the incantation out loud. Then I had to watch the candles burn down. Once the candles had gone out, I went to bed. (I specifically remember casting the spell on a Thursday night, but not the date. I also know the Moon has an effect on spells, but again I do not know if the Moon was a full one or a new one, or any phase in between. This may be an important factor…)

Not long after that, I don’t remember if it was the following day, but it was very soon afterwards, me and two other colleagues from the closed-down department were taken to one side and asked if we would be prepared to be co-ordinators for the ‘professional’ teams, as they had missed something of vital importance and cost the company a multi-million pound contract. I instantly said ‘yes!’ and then stayed in that role for a few more years until being made redundant in another major restructure.

To some, this may just be coincidence. To me, I know it was much more than that. The power of threefold return came to light in the fact that three of us were offered the job (the other two accepted as well) and I didn’t have to have an interview or assessment for this position as I was hand-picked. I was over the moon at getting this job, and, if I must be honest, was also quietly pleased at the company losing the contract that altered the direction somewhat. Well, the radical changes affect a lot of people’s lives and if a lesson can be learned from a situation such as that, then so be it!

I mentioned that I was made redundant a few years later, but by then I was ready to go. The team of administrators, as we’d become, were constantly being kept out of the loop of things, restricted when we needed help, and blamed when things weren’t dealt with as quickly as they could have been. Besides all that, the time was right, and it meant that I had a fabulous 13 month break from working. Like I have said previously, I am very happy when I’m not at work! There’s a little twist to this tale, which I will save for a future blog.

I quite like this jumping between different times in my life, I feel like I’m in my own little time machine!

Wow! What a final! Gymnasts Spelbound have been selected as the winners of this year’s Britain’s Got Talent.

The show was, in my opinion, really good, and every act performed fantastically.

I did feel sorry for Janey Culter, who was out of time slightly at the beginning of her performance, but by the end she was back on form with her great voice. Runners up, Twist and Pulse danced well. I wouldn’t know where to even begin dancing like they do by myself, let alone fit the moves around someone else! Brilliant. Kieran Gaffney the drummer was equally good – I thought this performance was his best that I’ve seen in the shows. Tobias Mead’s Twilight routine was fabulous – back to his backwards style dancing. It just looks so easy and impressive – although, again, I couldn’t do it. Well, if I tried I could – but badly! Chandi the dog danced well again, as I thought she would – she does look as though she enjoys herself. Unfortunately, she didn’t get to the last three – I wonder if we will get to know how the public voted for the acts.

Back to Spelbound. The performance of the night in my opinion. You can tell that the gymnasts have worked really hard at what they were doing – and they had to perform again after they had been proclaimed the winners, providing a second performance as good as the first. Very worthy winners indeed.

Like I said before, every act was good – I’m a little short on time to write about all of them, but maybe I can add something about those I haven’t mentioned in this post in a future one. I do like to flit back and forth!

A few photos I have gathered from the web of some of the acts from this year’s show. Well done ITV!

One of the things I like about writing about things out of sequence, means I can put anything in whenever I want to. I wrote this post last week, before the Eurovision ones, but didn’t have time to add it to my blog (I like to keep a few spare posts just in case I don’t have time to write anything new on any given day).

I don’t think there has been a ‘Carry on…’ movie with that title, although I could be wrong. <Quick pause> and I am! I’ve just done a quick Google search, and it was the fifth in the series to be made. So, to start this particular blog again…

This isn’t about the movie, ‘Carry on Regardless’, but it is about, erm, carrying on regardless. In particular, carrying on regardless of toothache.

Well, actually it’s more gum ache than toothache as the tooth isn’t particularly sore, and the gum was swollen to almost three times its size at some point during today. I look as though I have stuffed a hard boiled sweet just inside my cheek, and it must be swollen as it can be seen on the outside of my face. Even with my jowls. I looked slightly one-sided, although I’m glad to say the swelling is going down now.

I’ve taken paracetamol, which eased the pain slightly, but the tugging of the swelling was a constant reminder that there was a problem, and that reminded me of the pain.

I tried wobbling the tooth directly by the swelling, which probably wasn’t a good idea, but it didn’t do anything either.

Then, I remembered my magical cure of all cures. Salt water. Bathe in it to ease cuts and grazes. Gargle with it to ease sore throats. And reduce swelling. Yes, it worked for me. It’s still there slightly now, and I will gargle again in a short while, but I can definitely feel a difference.

Earlier on today, I had to carry on regardless in work. Apart from mentioning my swelling to a few people. Not that they’d notice it, of course… I worked as I usually do, and got things done just the same.

The thing is, with the Law of Attraction, what you think about, you bring about, so if you think about pain, or what is causing you pain, you’ll notice more pain. Think about being well and healthy, and you’ll be well and healthy. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before. But surely, you must be thinking – or maybe not, I can’t be judgmental – gargling with salt water is thinking of the pain and the cause of the pain. In one way it is. Of course it is – you don’t gargle with salt water for no reason, just as you wouldn’t stick a sticking plaster on a knee without a graze. Where I find a difference here, is what I am thinking whilst I am gargling.

Similar to The Secret movie, but also different, is another movie and book called ‘What the bleep do we know?’ I haven’t read the book, but have seen the movie a couple of times – in case you haven’t guessed, I love this type of thing. Anyway, in ‘The bleep’, there is a section about an experiment on the affects of certain emotive words on water, words such as ‘love’, ‘hate’ and ‘beauty’ etcetera. The scientists involved in the experiment analysed water molecules after they had been placed on these words, and the differences between the molecules were astounding. The ‘nice’ words generated crisp, clear lines and colours in the molecules, and the ‘not nice’ words generated murky, uneven molecules. (I’d recommend having a look at the movie to see what I mean)

While I was gargling with my salt water, I was imagining the purifying effects of the water and the salt on my body. I was thinking of ‘pure’ thoughts, and thanking the water for healing me. I was imagining the pure healing qualities of the water drawing out whatever was causing the swelling, and my own body’s natural healing also taking place.

Like I said, I will have to gargle again because I don’t expect it to work in the first go (I’m using the Law of Attraction with that thought too, by the way) but I know that with time, and the fantastic healing qualities of water, my face will be back to normal again soon.

Then, I’ll have to work on actually losing some weight. And the wonderful qualities of water can help there too!

More ‘random ramblings’ soon!

Since writing this post, I am pleased to say that the swelling has gone without needing a trip to the dentist or doctor.

I bought a new, manual lawn-mower (well, my Dad did, I don’t have a garden) that needed to be ‘put together’ for use. All of the parts were in the box, including a little spanner to tighten the bolts. My Dad and I put all of the bars together, and tightened one of the bolts with the spanner. I was kneeling on the floor, and I was doing the tightening. I put the spanner down besides my right knee, to look at another bolt. I reached for the spanner again, and it wasn’t there. I hadn’t moved. Nothing had moved. The spanner just wasn’t there. I felt beside my left knee, in case I was mistaken, and had put the spanner down on that side, and it wasn’t there either. I felt all over the carpet on both sides, and still no spanner. I moved some of the wrapping the bars had been in, in case the spanner had somehow gone under there, but no, it wasn’t there. I checked the floor all around, and it was nowhere in sight. I’d stood up, in case the spanner was on me, and it wasn’t. I felt all over the floor – you know sometimes in can be quite difficult to see things on a patterned carpet, and again it wasn’t there. Confused, I knelt back down to see if I could tighten the bolts with my hand, and couldn’t… I needed the spanner. I stood up again, to have another look, and there it was, underneath my right knee. It was definitely not there a moment earlier, because I had been brushing that very spot with my hand.

I have no idea where that spanner went to in that moment.

This little mystery also occurs on occasions, in the opposite way. You are looking for a very important document. The one you put in the drawer that time so you would know where it was when you needed it again. You go through the whole drawer, and it isn’t there. You go through the other drawers in case you’d put it in one of them, or it had fallen into one, or it had stuck to another important document that you needed to file somewhere else. You check all places you can think of, and this one document is nowhere in sight. You go back to the first drawer you checked – the one you remember putting the document in. And there it is. The first thing in the drawer. You just know that it wasn’t there a few moments ago.

I’ve got my own theory on this. Scientists and science fiction writers mention black holes all of the time, those dense areas of the universe where, they say, nothing can survive. I think there are tiny black holes around us all of the time. They’re not black, though, they’re invisible. And they move. If we happened to put something in a place where this black hole is, the object disappears. Sometimes appearing again after a few seconds, and other times not appearing until we (un)consciously tell the black hole that we would like what we are looking for. Well, this explanation satisfies me with the reason why things go ‘walkies’, just before they’re needed most. I don’t think it will satisfy those who require a more rational explanation.

Another thought has just struck me about these black holes… they must be somehow connected to us, as we never find someone else’s document, or a different tool, or whatever else wasn’t there a short while ago.

Just when I thought I’d got to the bottom of one of my mysteries, another question appears. I did say I think there will never be an answer… I’m going to try and keep some awareness about me next time this happens, just to see if I can see into one of these black holes. Well, you never know…