Monday, 25 May 2015

I wanted to talk today about
always keeping an open mind and allowing yourself new experiences. Before I
continue, permit me a paragraph or two to tell you a little episode from my
school days.

Back
sometime around ’94

When I was fourteen or
fifteen, I can’t exactly remember now (and please excuse a bit of hazy
stitching together here, I think I remember well what I am about to recall but
to any friends that happen to read this and remember it differently, sorry if I
get some details wrong! I’m just aiming to get a principle across…) we had an
opportunity at school to choose an extra sports subjects to practice. It is
common (traditional) to practice football and rugby at most schools, and
depending on the type of school and what facilities they had, you could maybe
do cricket, basketball, netball, athletics and others too. Normally, you are
told what you are going to do; you follow the teacher’s guidance and the
National Curriculum. However, this year we had a new teacher and he had a few
ideas. One of the many funny memories I have from this period of time is when
this new sports (or rather, Physical Education, as it was properly called)
teacher gave an assembly and explained he would be offering our year a choice
of something like five different activities and we would all vote in a ballot
on which sport we wanted, with the most popular choice being selected. When it
came to the ballot we all received the paper and were surprised to see one of
the possible choices… in a moment of inspired bravery this teacher had put
down, ‘Dance’. So, here we were, a close knit year (I hope friends reading this
agree!), not tear-aways by any stretch of the imagination but none-the-less we
had a devious streak, and exposed to new ideas our minds immediately starting
plotting on ways to subvert this crazy notion. A friend took it upon himself to
act as a kind of year group diplomat and visit all the different-yet-connected friendship
groups within our year and persuade them to vote a certain way on the ballot. I
remember being amused at his efforts and was struck by how when a fourteen year
old finds an interesting endeavor they can really get stuck into the task; had there
been a GCSE in Ambassadorial Studies I’m sure he would have been an A+ pupil
and working for the government by now. Anyway, the time came to hand in our
slips and we all duly voted and handed them over. I had no idea if my friend’s plan
had been successful or not but I for one went along with it and cast my vote as
was suggested. A few days later when it was assembly time and we were due to
find out what our designated sport would be we all shuffled into our seats as
normal and waited for the teacher to arrive. Soon enough, our young, energetic,
motivated and ‘new ideas’ man arrived but was looking rather glum with a hint
of menace about his features. It got to his turn to speak and obviously
disappointed, informed the assembled students that he was very upset we had not
taken the options seriously and that there had been some skullduggery going on as
an overwhelming ninety five percent plus of votes had been cast for ‘Dance’
when he knew damn well that not that many people would have picked it… and how
dare we spoil the opportunity for those who really did want to take dance and
how selfish we were for making fun of the opportunity we had and as a result of
us not taking it seriously NO ONE would be doing dance or any other extra subject
for that matter… You can imagine. We found it hilarious. As an adult I’m sure the
teacher thought we were specifically ridiculing dance because of schoolboy
level humour such as associated connotations of it not being a manly thing to
do and other totally ridiculous yet reinforced stereotypes that we all somehow
collectively understood (on a superficial level). However, as a young teenager,
I remember it more as just being a way to get one over on the teachers and
trying to be smartarses. I feel bad for repeating this story as if it
represents this teacher in a silly way; I don’t have anything against him and
remember getting on with him fine, but there is a reason I wanted to share that
story with you. It will make sense soon enough.

I write a fair bit in my local
pub. I’ve talked about this before so won’t expand on the reasons but suffice
to say I enjoy being around people in the evening hours even though I sit by
myself in a corner with my face buried in my laptop. One of the people I see
maybe once or twice a week is a young woman named Michaela and as with most
regulars I do the friendly chit chat hello, how are you, how’s your week been,
type conversation when I arrive. Sometimes I chat to people if particular things
have been going on and it is this young woman who inspired me to write this
post. Just in case you are reading this without the experience of what it is to
be a ‘local’ or a ‘regular’ in a local drinking establishment - and again, I
don’t want to repeat myself as I’ve talked about pubs before but to quickly
explain to some of my non-British friends and readers – there is a strange but
very traditional practice whereby you get to know other ‘locals’ or ‘regulars’
in your local pub, sometimes to a quite personal degree, without ever seeing
them or interacting with them in any other walk of life. You may well only ever
see them in the pub. And if you do happen to see them on the outside, say for
instance buying a paper in the newsagent, or walking their dogs, etc. then
there is no need for any formalities at all other than a brief nod of the head,
or, ‘alright’… possibly a ‘what you up to today’ or ‘been anywhere nice’ if the
situation is such that you are not passing by quickly, but for sure, you don’t
go into deep conversations like you do when you are leaning against the bar,
pint in hand. Such it is with Michaela, I consider her a friend and someone I
enjoy speaking to and catching up with but I never see her outside of the pub.
However, in the pub, we talk about her studies, her holidays and other such
personal information and importantly for today, her work. Michaela is a dancer
who has started her own dance company and is also involved with other dance
companies.

One evening earlier in the
year I was asking her how her dance projects were going and she explained she
had a performance coming up soon and was practicing hard. I was interested in
seeing it and asked her for details and a few months later I went to the
theatre to watch the performance and it was one of the most moving and
emotional experiences I have ever had. This is what I would like to talk to you
about.

A
New Inspiration

I went to the theatre with no expectations,
as I knew nothing about contemporary dance or hip-hop dance, which is her
specialism. From my time working in an art and design university I have
experience of many different artistic forms of expression and I have attended
many performances and installations that can sometimes include styles of dance.
However, it was the first time specifically attending a dance only event. I
also did not read the materials concerning the performance, as much the same
with going to the cinema or reading a new book, I do not like to know what I am
going to see. That may sound odd but I get more enjoyment from the surprise. I
always avoid watching film trailers, or reviews and so on and although there
was information on the website about the performance I didn’t read it.

And in fact, it’s not really
the subject matter of the play that I want to talk about here. As much as it
was fantastic (and I hope you get to see it yourself in one form or another
some day) I am really interested in trying to convey the emotional impact it
had on me and yes, that of course includes the plot but I talk about storylines
and plots and writing all the time, and instead, I want to convince you of the
physical nature of the emotional response as well as the mental stimulation. It
wouldn’t be much of a new inspiration
otherwise would it! For your reference here is the summary from their website
with a preview clip:

201
Dance Company was founded in 2014 by dancer and choreographer Andrea Walker. It
is known for its emotionally charged, Contemporary Hip Hop work.

London
based, 201 first found success in New York City, with a series of successfull
performances of short works at the Manhattan Movement and Arts Center, New York
Symphony Space and The Broadway Dance Center. The company is currently
developing its first full-length show: "If You Leave".

Can
you stay true to yourself, when everything suggests you change?

201’s raw,
contemporary hip-hop movement returns in If
You Leave: a story of two people's broken encounter.

After
acclaimed performances in New York and sold out London performance at The Place
and The Blue Elephant Theatre, 201 Dance Company returns with If You Leave. Touching on themes of
addiction, obsession, and the true meaning of commitment, choreographer Andrea
Walker directs a cast of seven dancers in a fast-paced, intimate performance
exploring the relationship of two young men.

“Superb
… a piece that is at once raw, skillful and intoxicating.” - LGBTQ Magazine

The theatre was very small and
the seating intimate. There were maybe up to ten rows and they were benches
rather than individual chairs and were covered in dozens and dozens of soft
cushions and rugs. As it would turn out I sat at the back bench in the middle
where the aisle ended and I’m very glad I did, I’ll get to that in a minute. There
was the usual chatter as everyone filed in and got comfortable and as I was on
my own I took the few minutes to look around the stage and guess what may
occur. There wasn’t much to take in, as the entire stage, backdrop and wings
were blacked out.

Then, as people were still
chatting, the house lights went down, we all hushed and I settled comfortably
in my seat. It started very quickly, within a few seconds the dancers ran on to
the stage and the performance began… and it was a whirlwind! I was totally
blown away by the impact and how hot blooded and forceful the dancing was. The
power and the physicality were incredible and this is what I want to convey to
you. Whether the impact was increased due to the small intimate nature of the
theatre and we were so close to the action I can’t say as I have no other
experience to compare it with, but you could feel the heat of their bodies, the
sweat and determination. Their faces were an absolute picture of focus and
passion. You understood the storyline immediately and it is hard to describe
this because there was no dialogue the entire duration of the performance. You
understood it all through their interaction and self expression; without seeing
a performance like this you may find that hard to comprehend but it is true.
The performance lasted an hour and I feel I understood what was happening, and
why, all the way through it. That is quite an achievement I think, and especially
as I was someone who hadn’t seen this sort of thing before, it shows the talent
of the choreography and ability of the director and dancers.

So, here I am just minutes in
and already blown away. The energy emanating from the dancers is taking my breath
away with a mixture of awe and respect. There is something to be said about
seeing people performing with a high level of athleticism (no one in this group
would be shy in the summer, all of them had less fat combined than in one of my
hip’s handles…) and of course being dancers, it wasn’t just fitness but
incredible flexibility and movement. By now, I am already starting to feel a
genuine sense of emotional response towards the individual characters and their
situations… and it doesn’t let up.

The hour was non-stop. The
amount of choreography involved was astonishing and whether it was all seven on
stage in frantic, frenetic (but controlled) movement covering the entire area
of the stage, or it was just one or two characters in a more sedate but sensual
episode, the intricacy and involvement was first class.

Then there was a brief pause
and blackout as the scene changed (just seconds, they were very quick the whole
way through) we applauded and as the lights came back on there was Michaela
standing in the middle of the stage on her own. She was soon joined by another
woman and this is where the emotion got the better of me.

The pace of the performance
changed to a slower dramatic more direct dancer to dancer exchange. I don’t
want to give the storyline away so I’ll just say that it was intimate. The
music also changed to a soft female voice singing a ballad with a simple
acoustic guitar accompaniment. On a personal level, it reminded me of some of
the music I used to listen to in the mid nineties and I think that, combined
with the emotional nature of the performance moved me to tears.

Now I don’t say that lightly,
as first of all, I’m not in the habit of embarrassing myself on my own blog!
Also, the scene wasn’t sad, it was actually an upbeat and positive moment, but
that’s not the reason. I felt a really deep connection with the effort these
people were putting in to the performance, I somehow felt like I was the
characters (both at the same time), I understood them… and if you ask any
writer, novice or professional, that is what we are striving for. To have the
reader connect on an innate psychological level with the characters we are
presenting. I read authors comments online where they are so pleased when they
receive a letter or an email from a reader who tells them how their characters
moved them, or how they connected with them, how they felt it could be them.
And here I was feeling that exact response but without a word of text or a word
of dialogue. It was all through movement and it affected me more than I can
explain. From then onwards, I was a mess. Every scene I had to brace myself and hold
back a ridiculous amount of weeping. I don’t know where it came from! It brought
back another school memory.

Possibly
misremembered school memory number 2

At around 15 we went on a
school excursion to watch Les Miserable. I can’t remember why but we did. I
have to sound very uncultured and unappreciative now but I cannot remember a
damn thing from that night. Honestly, I remember getting in there and being traumatized
by how far up in the Gods we were and how acute the angle of our seats were - if
you have ever been on a helicopter ride, you’ll know what I mean; remember that
take off moment where the whole thing rises but the front leans forward and
down so you are practically staring at the floor? That was sort of the angle of
our seats - but the actual play? Nope, can’t remember a thing. There is a vague
memory of trying to look at women through the binoculars but please, I was 15… However,
come the end of the play and as we were all shuffling out holding on to the
rails for dear life, I remember seeing one of our teachers crying her eyes out,
she couldn’t hold it back and despite knowing crying in front of her students
would only bring her weeks of taunts, she bawled liked anyone’s business. I’m
blaming being an immature 15 year old here but I cannot recall a single minute
of the play, and I can’t recall being moved in anyway either. Yet here was my teacher
in fits. I couldn’t understand it. Fast-forward twenty years (I imagine this teacher
was probably around somewhere around the mid 30s at the time thinking about it)
and here I am discreetly wiping away tears! How we change! This is where my
choice of seating helped me out. There were very low level lights at the sides
of the benches and had I picked one of the end seats I would have been helpless
to hide my leaking eyes from others, but being in the very middle at the back,
I was probably in the darkest section and I think I just about got away with
it.

Anyway, the point is, I was moved more than I could have possibly anticipated
and not only did I enjoy the performance for what it was, I enjoyed the
sensation of having my eyes opened, my horizons widened and my life enhanced by
new experiences.

So
why an inspiration?

Being someone who wants to be
a writer I am always alert for potential ‘stuff’ I can use in my work. I say
stuff because it could be anything, a newspaper article that generates an idea,
a song that moves me, a movie that makes me think, a conversation in a pub… and
so on. I feel I have always been open to new experiences (excuse my Les Mis
story) and have travelled to lots of cities to experience new cultures, I have
gone to talks (one of my favourites was by Howard Marks), plays, discussion
groups, and so on and so on. I’ve pushed myself to see things as unless you put
effort into making the most of what’s around you, you would miss out, but that
was my first dance specific performance and all of a sudden I am aware of the
potential of an art form hitherto unknown to me. What have I been missing! That’s
the message of this blog. Whatever you do and wherever you are, try something
new and keep yourself open to interesting new opportunities. I’m writing this
from London and it’s a constant source of shame that I do not do more in my
home city; there is a silly amount of things to do if you look.

I feel that as well as having
a great time and seeing someone I know in a different light (we all have our
talents don’t we, do you support your friends as much as you should, or could,
be attending things they do? You should!) and being absolutely certain beyond
doubt that she and the other dancers have great careers ahead of them; I have
another source of artistic expression to use. I have another art form to
incorporate into my art form. I am able to use their energy for my work and
that is a priceless advantage that I very possibly would have missed out on had
it not been for Michaela.

This is where the memory of my friend’s old school curriculum intervention came
back to me. Now I’m not saying that I feel guilty… but there is a little bit of
me that hopes the world didn’t miss out on a potential Rudolf Nureyev due to
not having been exposed to the wonders of a six week’s program of dance
sessions at school. Our school experiences can be character forming and
potentially defining in the shaping of our futures and I suppose the reason for
this blog is to say that ALL our experiences shape us and whether it be at 13,
33, 53 or 83 there is the potential to be moved and our way of thinking, our
way of being, changed by new experiences. So I do understand why my old teacher
tried to put dance in front of us, and I do understand why my old teacher cried
at the end of the play…

I would never have seen this
performance but for the good old local and meeting Michaela and at the age of
35 I now have the pleasure of having another option when looking for
entertainment… but what’s more, I now have a new source of inspiration. I can
use this art form to influence my thinking and whether that takes the form of a
new character I can now create that is a dancer, or perhaps, use a dance
performance as a setting in a story... but more important than that, is the new knowledge I have gained by which I can use dance to modify the rhythm of the language I use itself. What I mean by that is not to be so constricted by rules. It is hard sometimes to free yourself from the regulations you are so used to. If you are classically trained in an art form to suddenly allow yourself to break the rules you have been so obligated to can be difficult. There are many instances in the past of writers forming sentences to the rhythm of a beat, to music, or patterns of sounds and so on; not going so far as to move into poetry, still using the prose form, but allowing the shaping of the sentence to be just as important as the meaning the words convey. When watching a contemporary dance performance you are struck by how a movement can be dictated by (or reactive to) an emotion without sticking to a specific 'move' or 'technique' that we are familiar with. That freedom may be challenging to others (me) as we do not recognise it and we are therefore pushed to understand it; but the art form itself is the most important thing, not how well an audience receives it (after all, every audience is made up of individuals, and those individuals change every time, some will get it, some won't, that goes for everything) and that is why we strive to better ourselves, because we want to create a better art work, not because we want someone to recognise it as being the same as something else. ... well, whatever it maybe, I am enormously
grateful for having had the good fortune of having another well of beauty to
draw from and if I can find a way, when the time is right, to use the experience of seeing that freedom of expression transform my writing then I will be very happy.

One
of the first ebooks I released, roughly three years ago, was called “Collection One” and I have blogged
about it before, basically explaning it is not very good. It was more of an
experiement really but I feel that I would be too much of a wimp and a coward
if I removed it now. As bad as it is, it was where I was at the time so I’m not
going to change that.

I hope this one is better of course, but it was a struggle. The short stories I
write tend to be in the region of fifteen to twenty thousand words and I
release them as individual ebooks. However, some stories I have are much shorter
and I feel they would be more suitable to be released in groups of three. I
write in no particular order so they aren’t necessarily combined because they
have similar themes or are connected in any way, although in this case, by
accident, it does seem they have a few things in common.I am
not making a big deal of marketing my works this year. As I have said many
times before I am really focussed on attempting to produce as much content as I
can and then in 2016 worry about how to tell people about it.

I am also fairly certain that I am only going to release two more short story ebooks
and then spend the rest of the year concentrating on the novel. I have lots of
shorts to work on but the next two are more developed and shouldn’t take too
long to finish, whereas the others are at the very early stages of drafting so
it would mean spending a lot of my energy building them up from scratch
when, in truth, my heart is on the novel and I really want to spend all my time
on that. So, cross fingers, if I can get the next two out by the end of July
that will give me nearly half a year to make some decent progress on the novel.

So,
Collection Two.

I am
more or less happy with it. It is going back to my 'weirder' side... rather than the recent 'normal' dramas so I know a lot of people won't connect with it or find it a bit odd. I'm okay with that, I have stories in me that I have accepted a long time ago will make me look weird but I am going to release them anyway and they will be interspersed with my more regular narratives. There are always improvements to be made but the
overall development of the stories got to where I wanted. I fear I have rushed
it slightly as the desire to move on to the next was nagging away but there we
are. I just don’t want to spend more time on it!

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Being
a novice writer you can easily generate a lot of excuses when you get things wrong. Most of
those excuses are justifiable... I think. The one major difference of opinion
people have which sets the route of whether or not you accept those excuses as
valid is: the legitimacy of self publishing. If you believe that self
publishing is not a serious endeavor and should not be classified as a
professional path to writing then you are likely to be more forgiving when self
published materials do not come up to the standard we expect from established
publishing houses because you are not anticipating it in the first place. Hence
a few excuses such as I am not experienced enough, I did not have access to
resources, and so on, are accepted without too much admonishment, you are
prepared to shrug your shoulders and say better luck next time. If you however,
consider self publishing and independent writers to be a valid platform, and on an
equally legitimate standing as mainstream firms, then you will be less
set on forgiveness with errors and poor quality.

I
have argued both sides because I am of course, committed to self publishing,
but also terrified of self publishing, so I want to have my cake and eat it. I
want to protect myself from criticism while at the same time promoting myself.
There are dozens of aspects to this that I could talk about, ranging from book
cover design, use of grammar, limits of vocabulary, marketing and many
more, but what
I wanted to touch upon today is one specific recent issue I had which I am
still kicking myself for and goes to the heart of what it is I want to be: a
good writer.

I
recently self published a short story titled "Three Minutes". It follows the
struggle of a young man who cannot find the courage to quit a boxing career
that he has allowed himself to believe may happen one day in order to focus on
the things he already has and is at risk of losing, most importantly his
girlfriend. I went through the process of drafting, editing and publishing as
normal and although I wasn’t one hundred percent happy with it - there are
always improvements I know I could make to every story I attempt - because I
don’t want to spend too much time on one project, there is simply so much to
do, the amount of time required to rewrite it was too much (an endless
proposition) and doesn’t justify the reward.

Once
it was out, I had someone who I respect hugely come back to me with his feedback
and even though it is weeks ago, I still feel like slapping my forehead, as
amongst the minor grammatical editing suggestions there was one really
significant thematic criticism. That is what I want to talk about today, how I
missed something that would have made the story better and the reason it is so
important to me is that most of us can learn new words and improve our
vocabulary, most of us can spend an increasing amount of money on hiring
editors, designers and so on, however, if it is connected to our most basic
ability to construct a story then that goes to the heart of whether or not we
have what it takes to be a writer.

It
was devastatingly simple. Out of the locations I had in my story, there were
two main settings, a boxing ring, and a pub. I realise this won’t be familiar
to you as you won’t have read it so I don’t want to bore you with setting out a
long exposition but what it comes down to is that there was a way of connecting
the two settings - and the two main characters that were in those locations - by use of mirroring language.

If
you imagine a boxing ring and the boxers taking part in the contest, think of
the descriptions you need to include: The moving around in the ring, the shouts
of the crowd and your corner, the wiping down of sweat and blood in the corner,
the ringing of a bell to signal the rounds, the heightened states of emotions, to name just a few...

Now
think of a pub or a bar: The cleaning of the glasses, the wiping down of the
bar with towels, the loud shouting on a busy night, the crowds, ringing the bell at
closing, heightened states of emotions (due to alcohol), etc.

Now
compare the two… to contrast the situation the two characters find themselves
in you can use these descriptions! But I didn’t! I overlooked this key
technique! I’m very upset at myself! I'm using lots of exclamation marks! That's how upset I am!

I normally do look at this as part of my drafting,
I think of how I can connect the various strands of the story together and I
actively try and sow themes and undercurrents to enhance the story, add layers
as is often called. So why on this occasion did I miss this? What does that say
about me as a writer?

Why
didn’t I subtly compare the bell ringing when my character gets up in the ring
for the next round to get a beating, to the beating my other character feels she's had when
the bell rings to signal the end of the night and she knows she has survived another
shift. I won’t carry on, but just imagine the amount of connections and way of
threading those connections between those two settings. It really would have
added a great layer ot the story by increasing the emotional connect/disconnect they are feeling with their lives and each other.

So,
can I use the excuse of being a novice writer and say, it’s self publishing, it
doesn’t matter as it's not meant to be as good as mainstream publishing? No, of
course not. I should be striving to make my stories as good as they can possibly
be and my target is for them to be high quality works and therefore by that
standard should be works that a mainstream publisher would consider good enough
for their organization (not that I have any intention of sending them anywhere, just in principle).

Yes, I am inexperienced, yes I am a novice and yes I have a very long way to
go. But I can’t use those as excuses not to get better. I am extremely annoyed
at myself for overlooking this and so I must be more conscious of it next time.
I must work harder and examine closer. I must not rush. I have the feeling I am
going to have several more self-face slapping moments in the years to come as I
self publish more and in many ways this was a good lesson. You just have to
keep going and the one thing I will keep in mind when these moments occur is
what does it say about me as a storyteller and a writer? I never assumed that
my first short stories or my first novels would be good but I had better learn
these lessons quickly as I hoped my fifth, six and seventh would be…

R.G Rankine

www.rgrankine.com

Follow me on Social Media

Dear all, if you would like to purchase any of my short story ebooks (they are all priced at the equivalent of £0.99/$0.99) then I have listed the Amazon links below but if you have another ereader you can go to my website: www.rgrankine.com and find the links for Nook, Apple, Google and Kobo. Thank you. Enjoy the blog :)

Disclaimer

Dear all, please note that I don’t check the links on my blogrolls that often so there may be some out of date or not working. I’ll do my best to remove or update when I can. I am not responsible for any of the websites that are linked below, they are for your reference and interest only and I take no liability for their services. If you would like your website listed below then please feel free to email me the details and I’ll add them. Thank you.