Thursday, 13 August 2009

Well I am. I mean I sent a message to skullcracker just over a week ago and she replied so we had a bit of a chat. I know her name now and she knows mine. That’s about as far as I got. D’oh! She was keen to invite me over to her place again, after work one night. My first reaction was how do I explain my absence to my family? That’s always a bit of a problem. It got me down a bit. I told her I was a loser.

Why do I put myself through this pain? I can’t help it; I still feel embarrassed about my home situation/life in general. I’m too old to be at home, not that I want to be. But I’m such a loser I can’t afford to move out. I don’t want her knowing these things about me. But as far as I can see it is only sex so why am I so uptight about it?

Well, as always, the sex itself makes me nervous. I’m still keen to suck and lick tits, but anything else? Kissing I’m sure is fine. A nice wet, warm mouth, is a nice wet warm mouth. (Do boobs get in the way when it’s girl on girl? Hee hee, just being silly). Okay I am a little nervous about oral. I’m sure I COULD do it but just that first time has got me scared. I can’t remember what I thought the first time I sucked a cock but I don’t think I hesitated. It seemed so natural and easy. (When I was little my dad was always telling me to stop putting things in my mouth, now I know why. It’s dirty; yes it is!)

I sent skully another offline. Not inviting us to do anything, just asking how her search for a woman is going, whilst wondering if she’d tell me about it when she’s accomplished it. I’m sure she will find someone. Not that I have anything to base that on. No reply so far but that’s probably good. I sent her a good luck/goodbye one this morning.

Looks like I'll have to stick to reading about girls being together rather than trying it for myself. That's a weird book in the photo. It's edited to just have the sex scenes. I'm getting another one soon called Wet: True Lesbian Sex Stories edited by the same woman. It could be interesting. Bit of a how-to guide if I ever get that far.

Sunday, 9 August 2009

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and as it's at new location so I decided that after work I would go check out where it is exactly. There were several suggestions on their website but I decided to take the tram. Good choice as it runs along the street I need. Rather impulsively I went to a shop I’d seen a nice top in the day before. A top I thought would be good to go clubbing in when I’m overseas later this month. There were silver ones and gold ones in the window but come on; it had to be the silver one.

When I went in all I could find were the silver ones. I looked for my size and the tag claimed it was one of those “free size” garments. I had to wonder if that meant it wouldn’t fit. Most of the stuff in Angel7, (or whatever it's called), looked like it was for girls who’d recently graduated from high school or perhaps a little older and had twenty-firsts to go to. In other words, skinny bitches. But I persevered and went in anyway. If I can shop at Jays Jays I can at least walk into this store. [Jays Jays has been a very recent experience for me and yes I AM too old for it. Although the staff are young, “cool” people I have found them to be surprisingly friendly and not off putting because I’m too old. I went in with a friend the day before my birthday and the friend told the girl behind the counter that we were out for lunch to celebrate my birthday. She asked how old I was and I told her I was turning 29. She seemed genuinely surprised, “You don’t look that old.” Bless you child! Shit, it really is a store I never considered going into before another friend took me in to have a look earlier this year. I still feel a bit wrong in there but I do like to check out the t-shirts and hoodies. I tried on some pants once, but they were too long for my stumpy legs and they didn’t look as good on me as they did on the rack. I long for a nice pair of black pants. Jeans are nice but I need variety].

So anyway I took down the silver top that looked slightly bigger of the two inside. I might as well try it on. I’m glad I did because it really is quite nice. I can see me wearing it on a pub crawl in Iceland. The pub crawl is practically mandatory. So much so it has a name I haven’t a chance in hell of pronouncing: The Runtur. Actually that doesn’t look too hard to take a crack at. There’s a highlighted section of the Lonely Planet Reykjavík section that explains more. Have I read it properly? No. But then I’m not that organised a person. This whole trip is pretty spontaneous for me. Booked the flights so I’d have to deal with it and stop uming and ahing over it. Ha! One part tells me that since I’m there for such a short time I’ll probably find enough to do but another part thinks read more about it and try to get the most out of it. Could another part think if it’s that good I’ll just go again? [Yes, a bit]. It’ll be awesome. Even if I don’t wear my new silver top and hit the bars.

So, do you like my top? I'm a sucker for sequins. I didn't know until I tried it on how sheer the material is. Very see-through. In the changing room I thought I'll need to get another new bra but looking at it here perhaps I don't. It'll be dark inside the pubs and clubs anyway. (If I even go!) However I'm not sure if I'll be in Iceland during the time of the midnight sun. Will my bra be obvious whilst I am crawling from one pub to the next? I would love to hear any suggestions. Whether you think it looks all right as is or I should get a different colour bra. And if the latter is the case what colour do you reckon would be best?

I’m so glad I took that shopping detour. When I went to the tram stop I had a bit of a wait so I popped on my iPod and ate an apple. (It was lunch time. And cereal really doesn’t cut it when you’re working in the morning). I purposely sat away from other people because I thought I wouldn’t be able to hear myself chomping with the earphones on. Then after a few other trams had gone by and I had listened to a few songs a man comes and sits down on my bench. I think, “Why are you sitting here?” As I knew the other benches were empty. Eventually I noticed who the man was. Alan Brough! OMIGOD! I played it cool. I didn’t acknowledge that I knew him. I did end up sitting there for a while with him and really would have liked to have a chat with him but I just couldn’t. He was mucking about with an iPod too, (I think, listening to music for sure anyway). I so wanted to know what was on his playlist. Can you hear what I’m listening to? (I do have it on a bit too loud). See how old yet cool and eclectic my taste is Alan?? LOL. Then later I thought I should ask him for some tips for job interviews at the ABC. Explaining how I’ve applied for that researcher job with ABC3. But again, I just couldn’t do it. I like to think he appreciated me not going fan(atic) on him. He seems like a shy, and very nice, man. We caught the same tram.

He got in front of me and a woman getting off recognised him and said something nice to him, he thanked her. Standing behind him I noticed he was A LOT taller than I thought. I guessed at le ast 6 foot. [The ABC website says he’s 6’ 4”. No I’m not being obsessive, I just wanted to get a photo of him for this. Actually that’s another strange thing, I had my camera with me so it could have been a proper celebrity moment].

So if I hadn’t got the top I’d never have been next to him briefly at a tram stop on Collins Street. Okay I may have missed an opportunity to talk to someone from the ABC but I still take it as a good sign; like he’s my good luck charm for the researcher job. I haven’t heard anything from them apart from a short email that said my application got through. I suppose one week isn’t long enough. Is two? By next Friday will it be all right to get anxious if I haven’t heard anything from them? It would be an awesome job.