The most important work we can do, individually and globally, is the healing of traumas so that we don’t pass them down to future generations. This blog is a working tool to contribute to this good work.

PARENT

2 a: an animal or plant that is regarded in relation to its offspring b: the material or source from which something is derived

(verb – 1663)

++++

Parents are supposed to provide care giving to infants. The use of the word “care” implicates a sense of responsibility – the ability to respond. The reality is that caring as a responsibility is burdensome. It is a burden many parents carry essentially care-free and care-fully. Yet for parents who are overwhelmed by the cares they have experienced in their lives, by the care they did not receive themselves, it makes it difficult for some to provide adequate, and cheerful, caring for their offspring.

Siegel makes that distinction: that “earned attachments” that some troubled people are able to establish with their offspring may be essentially adequate, but they are not happy. These caregivers are carrying a great burden of sorrow and sadness, and demonstrate high levels of depressive symptomology. Yet they do manage NOT to traumatize their own children the way their parents traumatized them.