Thursday, July 22, 2004

How To Get What You Want

Homer: "You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [long pause then gleefully] The doctor thought I might have brain damage. "

Friday, July 16, 2004

Words of Wisdom

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Parental Support

Homer: "Oh my God, Marge! A penalty shot with only four seconds left. It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise; the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore! "

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Homer The Clown

Homer: "When I started this clown thing, I thought it would be nothing but glory. You know, the glory of being a clown. I tell you, it's hard, tiring work. But when I see the smiles on their little faces, I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something. "