Coming Out Stories to Make You Laugh on National Coming Out Day

Happy National Coming Out Day! Today is a celebratory day, but it can also be anxiety-inducing or downright uncomfortable — as coming out often is. In honor of this day, some members of the them. team are sharing our funniest and most charming(ly awkward) coming out stories. Cheers to this queer life.

When I came out to my mother for the first time on National Coming Out Day 2008, I made her a card. I printed black-and-white photos of out lesbian celebrities (including Samantha Ronson and Ellen DeGeneres), as well as a photo of myself. I then cut and pasted our heads onto a sheet of printer paper, folded it in two, and wrote: “Which one of these people is not a lesbian?” on the front. On the inside, the card read, “Answer: None. Happy National Coming Out Day!”

I was raised to have pride in every aspect of who I am, but when I came out as gay at 14, my parents were pretty alarmed. My mother and stepfather proceeded to put me in a dance class to “give me more confidence” — they thought I was too impressionable, allowing the kids at school to dictate my identity. Why they thought a hip hop class with a bunch of queer-friendly women would butch me up, I’ll never know. But those lessons came in handy years later when I danced onstage to Ciara’s “I’m Out” as a trans drag performer. Shoutout to Heavenly Rhythm Dance Studio in Maryville, Illinois! Y’all helped me shine.

When I was 14, my parents asked me to keep my coming out “quiet” and not draw too much attention to myself. After a few weeks of obedience, it drove me completely mad. So I went to Microsoft Paint, scanned a bunch of Abercrombie shopping bags, and made a collage of shirtless torsos the background of my Myspace page. If I had to be a proper little homo in person, that was fine — but they said nothing about my digital persona!

When I was a sophomore in high school, an event photographer snapped a photo of me and my boyfriend making out at a rave. You could see our tongues intermingling, hands clasping the back of each other’s heads. He was wearing eye makeup and I was shirtless. It was an overt display of queer affection, and I decided that this would be my public statement: a photo worth a thousand words.

I made the photo my Myspace profile picture in a public declaration about who I really was. I still remember the feeling of walking into school the next day, seeing people pointing in my direction as they whispered about me. I was LIVING for the attention, but I was also terrified. When I went to buy my morning cookie, one of the more thick-headed football players approached me and asked, "Is that really you? That's not you...right?" I swung around with a grin and said — loudly enough for everyone nearby to hear — "YES, that is me. I'm GAY and I like to dance — is that a problem for you?" The crowd that had gathered exchanged glances before dispersing, and the school’s star defenseman scampered away at a loss for words.

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The next day, I set about in creating our school’s first ever GSA, and ran the organization until I graduated. It's still functioning today and has raised over $10,000 for LGBTQ+ charities.

Seven-year-old boy: Hi!Me: Hello.Boy: Are you a boy or a girl?Me: I'm both.Boy: You can't be both?Me: OK, what do you think I am?Boy: A boy.Me: Why's that?Boy: Because you have a moustache. It's small, but you have one.Me: Girls can have moustaches.Boy: Dad! Can a girl have a moustache?Dad: No.Boy: No, girls can't have moustaches.Me: OK, then today I'll be a boy. What about you? Are you a boy or a girl?Boy: I'm a boy!Me: But you don't have a moustache.Boy: [takes a second to process] DAD!!!!

them, a next-generation community platform, chronicles and celebrates the stories, people and voices that are emerging and inspiring all of us, ranging in topics from pop culture and style to politics and news, all through the lens of today’s LGBTQ community.