Christians respond
to victimized women and children

By
Katy Attanasi (8/29/04)

One out of every
three American women will experience an incident of domestic
violence at least once in her life, according to national
statistics. In up to 60 percent of these homes, a child is
also being abused. While response to this suffering has at
times been slow, the Southern California District’s
Teen Challenge and Women’s Ministries, as well as the
Assemblies of God national Women’s Ministries, are working
to minister to victims of violence.

Two years ago,
the Southern California Women’s Ministries financed
the purchase of Home of Hope, a residential facility for abused
women with life-controlling problems at the Los Angeles Teen
Challenge women’s center. The Home of Hope houses 24
women for up to four months as they begin a yearlong treatment
program.

In addition to
responses through Teen Challenge, the national Women’s
Ministries Department of the Assemblies of God is working
on “Fragile Soul,” a ministry packet that will
be available next year for churches to assist victims of domestic
violence.

“It’s
important for women to understand that they do not have to
stay in abusive homes,” says national Women’s
Ministries Director Arlene Allen. “Often they feel they
have no other choice. We hope that churches will see the need
and minister to both the abused and the abuser.”

Close to 95 percent
of violent incidents involve a male perpetrator, but women
are not the only victims. “Domestic violence is an issue
of power and control,” says Elizabeth Leonard, associate
professor of sociology and co-director of the Center for Women’s
Studies at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, Calif. “If
a perpetrator begins by beating his wife, it may spread broader,
with children becoming direct victims. In these homes children
are at a higher risk for all forms of maltreatment —
physical, emotional and sexual abuse.”

The emotional trauma
of seeing a parent hit can have the same impact on a child
as when they are hit directly, according to Leonard.

“A child
may go to hide in a room in a closet or under a bed,”
Leonard says. “But not only is it terrifying to hear
the horror of it, but seeing the after-effects of the stitches
and broken items is traumatizing. The child basically learns
that it is OK to be hurt by the one you love.”

Internalizing this
dangerous message increases the risk that the child will become
a victim or perpetrator of a similar scenario later in life,
experts say.

The trauma children
experience is manifested in a number of ways. “Women
who have gone through domestic violence are more at risk to
cope with this trauma by using drugs and alcohol, and the
same trend applies to children who witness domestic violence,”
says Christina Ryder, grants coordinator at Teen Challenge
Southern California. “They are at higher risk for substance
abuse and academic failure, and to perpetuate similar behavior
patterns in dating and family relationships.”

Furthermore, the
children live in a state of chaos in a highly unpredictable
environment. “Witnessing domestic violence is in itself
emotional abuse,” Ryder says. “These are also
indirect and direct threats toward children, threats that
they no doubt internalize.” Resulting symptoms can include
bed-wetting, regression to infantlike behavior and difficulty
concentrating.

When abuse occurs
in a Christian home, it sends messages of hypocrisy and suffering
in silence, experts say. When churches do not address domestic
violence, the victimized child internalizes numerous negative
messages. “They learn that what happens at home is not
important at church and is not important to God,” Leonard
says.

Leonard says many
women will stay with an abusive husband past the point of
safety because they have bought into the idea that children
need their fathers. “Children benefit from hands-on
involvement of a father unless he is abusive,” she says.
“However, if the involvement is negative, then the children
are actually living in a worse situation.”

At a district level,
Teen Challenge started addressing domestic violence by initiating
workshops and training sessions for staff members, helping
them understand the dynamics and respond appropriately to
victims. Family violence is addressed in the curriculum as
well as in residential settings for women.

Mentoring relationships
for children also are encouraged. “A big part of our
approach has been teaching the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy
relationships,” Ryder says. “For people who have
witnessed or experienced domestic violence, destructive patterns
are normal.”

Given the strong
link between drug and alcohol abuse and domestic violence,
Los Angeles Teen Challenge’s Home of Hope helps residents
address the effects of these experiences through its program.

The Southern California
District Women’s Ministries raised the funds to purchase
the home. “For years we had wanted to do something for
this large population of hurt women, both inside and outside
the church,” says Judy Rachels, director of Women’s
Ministries for Southern California.

Janie Cookes, director
of the center, sees links between childhood experiences of
domestic violence and drug abuse. “There are girls in
our program who have turned to drugs as a result of witnessing
domestic violence or experiencing it,” Cookes says.
“We teach them that they are not alone, that abuse is
not normal and that even though we may not believe in divorce,
a woman should not put up with violence.”

At times, Christians
have been slow to respond to domestic violence. “We
have been reluctant to become involved in issues of domestic
violence because the issue is shrouded in secrecy, at least
within the church,” says Rachels. “But the time
has come for us to get involved as a church.”

Any response, according
to Ryder, begins with admitting that domestic violence exists
inside and outside the church and that there is no Scripture
that condones the use of violence or abuse in a dating, marriage
or parental relationship.

“The church
has often responded inappropriately, telling women to go home
and to be submissive, that if they are obedient, their husband
won’t hit them,” she says. “There are values
that the church embodies — such as caring for the oppressed
and defending women and children — that can be very
effective in ministering to victims of family violence.”