I'm heading out of town for 2 weeks and the mail is stopped for tomorrow. . . .

TODAY IS MY LAST CHANCE!!!

I planned on reading it in the boat in between spells of catching record-breaking small mouth bass. It's either that or, or, Metro Parent!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Is it a felony to threaten a postal worker? What's the penalty for stealing football fan mags out of other peoples' mailboxes? If I had donated more $ would Mrs. Brian have personally delivered it on a flying horse with german opera music in the background?