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SPOOKY'S HAPPY THANKSGIVING COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEKLY EXPRESS

Early start for Thanksgiving Week List of 13: Wrapping up a college football Saturday that changed the BCS picture....

13) Didn't take Alabama long to get back in the national title picture, with both Oregon/Kansas State losing, the SEC almost has to have a team in the national title game, and against Notre Dame, unranked at the start of the season. Irish should beat USC next week, with Matt Barkley separating his passing shoulder at the end of the UCLA game. On a side note, cant wait for the BCS playoffs and this is why they should have an 8 team playoff. How does the SEC get away with playing Division II type schools and move up in the polls. How does Notre Dame get a free ride into the National Championship game without having to play in a conference let alone a conference championship game. But Im not angry or anything.

12) Huge day for Jim Mora Jr, who Bruins now will take to the recruiting trail with a bounce to their step after beating USC 38-28; UCLA is also going to the Pac-12 title game, as champs of the Pac-12 South. They've got a strong nucleus of young players, especially on offense.

11) As for Lane Kiffin, his Trojans are first preseason #1 team to lose four regular season games since 1984; they could be first one to lose five regular season games since 1964 if they lose next week. He must fire his father and get a defensive co-ordinator that knows what he is doing. A fucking shame what the coaching staff did to this team this year.

10) Rough day for the Wake Forest athletic department; Deacons were lifeless in a 38-0 pummeling in South Bend; the basketball team was down 48-13 to Iona in the Virgin Islands, in the first half, the same Iona team that lost Friday.....to Quinnipiac. Wake wound up losing 94-68.

9) Seven SEC teams played I-AA opponents this week; not a good time of year for that. Alabama-West Carolina game had a total of 100 plays, as the timekeeper probably played running time.

Louisiana Tech, in their loss to Utah State, ran 108 plays for 629 yards, all by themselves. KState-Baylor game had 163 plays, NC State-Clemson game had 190 plays. Alabama ripped off its fans with a glorified scrimmage.

8) Winless Southern Miss scored with 2:48 left to get within 34-33 of UTEP, then for some reason, went for two points, despite their QB being 4th-stringer Arsenio Favor. When you're winless, that stuff never works, and the Golden Eagles lost again. They had 18 consecutive winning seasons before this year, and now they're winless. Yikes.

7) When (former Southern Mississippi coach) Larry Fedora took over at North Carolina, he asked each of his offensive linemen to lose 20-25 pounds, to better block for the spread offense. Tough adjustment for the kids, but Tar Heels are 7-4. Fedora did inherit some talented players. .

6) Wouldn't want to be at season-ending banquet for Washington State's team; older players apparently hate Mike Leach, and feeling seems to be mutual. Coogs have been outscored 100-7 in the first half of their last three games-- doubt Senior Day will be whole lot of fun, either. If Leach can keep his job long enough, he'll win up there, but it'll take a while.

5) Kicker from Rice named Chris Boswell made FGs of 53-51-56 yards, tying a record, so good for him. How does Rice have a great kicker but not some of the bigger name teams?

4) Utah State is 9-2, a tremendous accomplishment for a program that hasn't won very much; they led 41-14 at Louisiana Tech with 1:00 left in third quarter, but Bulldogs made another wild comeback and took game to OT, where State prevailed, 48-41. Can Aggies keep coach Gary Anderson long enough for him to coach in the MWC next year?

3) Arizona coach Rich Rodriguez, who seems like a good guy, has won four of his last five games with the Wildcats-- he is the first Arizona coach to go bowling in his first season in Tucson. Good for him; we liked him on CBS Sports Network last year, after getting canned at Michigan. .

2) Michigan State is the first team since 1971 to play seven games in a row decided by 4 or less points. Spartans lost to 8-3 Northwestern team that led in 4th quarter in all three of its losses.

1) It is now entirely possible that the nation's only unbeaten team won't even go to a bowl; Ohio State. If Notre Dame were to lose the national title game, that would leave the Buckeyes as the lone unbeaten, assuming they beat Michigan in their rivalry game. Then what?

Will anyone declare them mythical national champs, or co-champs, if they're the only unbeaten team when the season ends?

1. Oregon. Standing on the precipice of a BCS title shot and an undefeated season, Oregon peered over the edge, sneezed, and after slipping plummeted headlong into the abyss with a 17-14 loss to Stanford in Autzen Stadium. How did this happen? The usual Stanford victory march: marauding defensive linemen, Shayne Skov crashing plays to pieces in the backfield, and Stanford tight end Zach Ertz catching a touchdown while standing on his head.

2. Kansas State. Explaining Oregon's collapse is doable (Stanford's defensive line wrecked Oregon's blocking scheme, for instance, upsetting everything the Ducks do offensively). There is literally no explanation for Baylor beating Kansas State by a score of 52-24. Sure, you could buy a 52-48 shootout, maybe, with one team holding serve and emerging as the bullet-riddled victor in a spray-and-pray Big 12 gunstorm. That could have happened, partly because this is the Big 12, and especially because the defensively challenged but offensively potent Baylor Bears are involved.

But this Baylor defense was not even your usual series of clueless AI bots. This team came into the game with the worst defense in FBS football, 120 out of 120 in national rankings, and allowing 37 points a game. The Bears forced Collin Klein -- the Heisman frontrunner prior to this -- into three interceptions. K-State, averaging 40 points a game on offense prior to last night, came in 16 points under its average while allowing 22 more points than it had allowed to anyone this season.

This is, in every sense of the word, a complete statistical aberration. Yet watching it was even stranger because after a quarter or two the game seemed to be utterly in Baylor's hands. It wasn't like Baylor pulled away thanks to a series of fluky turnovers; no, this was a dispatching, with K-State flailing away like they were Kansas -- a team Baylor beat by a not dissimilar score of 56-14 earlier this year.

Now that I've said that, watch Kansas State beat Texas next week like none of this ever happened.

3. Notre Dame. Continued to add to its stellar resume by beating Wake Forest, 38-0. Wake Forest. DOMINANCE HAS RETURNED TO SOUTH BEND. You could mention that computers love Notre Dame's strength of schedule, and indeed rank it as the best in the nation. Thats bullshit. The Irish also have a brutal defense, and their slapdash offense is not too different from 50 percent of SEC offenses. Are we conflicted about Notre Dame? You bet your ass I am, since they could either be 2006 Florida, or any other contemporary Notre Dame team that finished with double-digit wins, slid into a BCS bowl, and then met hot death in front of a national television audience. Basically they are not in a conference so dont have to play in a conference championship and dont have the grind of playing a weekly schedule like most conferences do. I would just love for USC to wake the fuck up and beat Notre Dame this week.

4. Alabama. Successfully passed its leg of the SEC's SoCon challenge by annihilating the Western Carolina Catamounts 49-0. Again not saying that Bama and the SEC dont deserve a chance in the BCS championship but how the fuck do they move up in the polls when beating a shit school like this in mid November while teams with the same 1 loss lose to a team in their own conference.

5. Georgia. Got its training-wheels warmup for the Georgia Tech triple option in a 45-14 rehearsal against Georgia Southern. See above nobody should move up in the polls for beating Georgia Southern in November.

6. Ohio State. Outlasted Wisconsin 21-14 in overtime, and that shouldn't be a surprise because have you seen Bielema? His cardio needs work, bro. The Buckeyes Need only a win against Michigan to complete an undefeated season that will not count for a national title shot thanks to Gene Smith going to a Gator Bowl last year, and instead choosing to take their postseason bowl ban this year.

7. Florida. A truly unimpressive 23-0 win over Jacksonville State.

8. LSU. Fought off an Ole Miss team 41-35 in the usual carnival ride Les Miles game (the carnival ride has not been inspected in years, and spits rusty parts on bystanders on every turn, but that and the impending civil suit for injuries are just part of the fun).

9. Texas A&M. Johnny Manziel missed an XP attempt, and that is the sole fascinating note from their 47-28 scrimmage against Sam Houston State.

10. Florida State. The Black Ops uniforms for Maryland might have called up Call of Duty in your head.

11. Clemson. TAJH BOYD HAD EIGHT TOUCHDOWNS. A 62-48 win over NC State takes Clemson to 10 wins, extends a win streak to seven and puts the Tigers in line for slots in the Sugar, Fiesta or Chick-Fil-A Bowls depending on the South Carolina game and the whims of the bowl system. That's a 66 percent chance of prestige, a 33 percent chance of delicious, and a 100 percent chance of a bowl game involving at least eight points between Clemson and its opponent.

12. South Carolina. Was tied with the Wofford Terriers late into the third quarter before pulling away for a 24-7 win.

13. Oklahoma. Playing West Virginia means you have to score last. Oklahoma scored last in a 50-49 win over the Mountaineers in Morgantown despite Tavon Austin's 344 yards rushing. <---not a typo <----someone rushed for 344 yards and lost a football game <---someone actually coaches defense at West Virginia<----but not for long.

14. Stanford. The Auburn of the Pac-12 grappled Oregon to its first loss in a 17-14 quagmire. The two schools are more similar than you imagine, since they both have football teams, are referred to by farm-related nicknames, and that's it, really.

15. Oregon State. Beat Cal 62-14 in Corvallis. Please don't look at Cal football; it has turned the bed to the wall, and will face its end alone and with dignity.

16. Nebraska. A routine 38-14 gallop over Minnesota.

17. UCLA. A burly 38-28 win over the Trojans -- its first since 2006 -- also took Matt Barkley out of the game, thus making Notre Dame's path to a BCS Title game berth that much easier. P.S. Lane Kiffin did talk to the media, but if you want to imagine him leaving every game like this via helicopter and dastardly deed, then please do. Fuckers

P.S. Lane Kiffin would totally do this, and Jim Mora did a really, really good job in year one at UCLA.

18. Texas. Bye week, but Mack Brown still had to spend six hours a day selling blenders on the Longhorn Network.

19. Louisiana Tech. Lost a shot at the ETERNAL WAC CHAMPIONS title by losing 48-41 to Utah State in overtime. Does hold the title of nation's worst defense, however, thanks to Baylor's sudden fit of competence in Waco.

20. Louisville. Bye week, most likely spent telling everyone that Syracuse is way, way better than you think. Isn't that right, Missouri?

21. USC. Monte Kiffin cannot return as defensive coordinator next year, but he wasn't the one calling passes on short downs when Curtis McNeal was averaging 7.7 yards a carry.

22. Rutgers. A 10-3 win over Cincinnati is a 10-3 win over Cincinnati. That makes no sense, but neither does "Rutgers should go to the Big Ten because they're New Jersey's college football team."

23. Michigan. Bye week, or played Iowa in a 42-17 rollover. Same thing.

23a. Texas Tech. Lost 59-21 to Oklahoma State in the Big 12's best game between mascots who carry multiple firearms.

25. Kent State. Avoided the curse of being a ranked MAC team by winning a thriller over Bowling Green 31-24 with a late endzone INT. "These flashes truly are golden!" said a sportswriter from the 1930s as he fell drunkenly off the back of a donkey somewhere between Bowling Green and Akron.

13) Is it any wonder when you look at how Maryland is willing to shell out $50M to leave the ACC for the Big Dozen, that recruits/parents have their hands out during the recruiting process?

That’s how much money is involved in all this, yet the kids get a free college education and nothing else. The education is worth six figures, understood, but how much money is Johnny Manziel going to put into Texas A&M’s coffers if he stays there four years?

12) ACC commish John Swofford has ruined his league; he had the best basketball conference, but traded that in so he could cash in on the football cash bonanza, but he whiffed on that, and now he’s lost Maryland, one of the ACC’s charter members.

Swofford should go get Louisville/Memphis (use part of Maryland’s $50M to buy them out of Big East) so at least he has a premier basketball league.

11) If you missed our man Les Miles after the Ole Miss game Saturday, check it out on YouTube; Les went all Mad Hatter in his opening statement to the press right after LSU beat the Rebels 41-35. Its classic stuff, and a big part of why we like him a lot.

10) Readinghteplay.com is an interesting website with some good knowledge on it; they report that the pointspread affects only 15-18% of NFL games; the other 82-85%, the winner covers.

9) One of the hardest things to do in coaching is to turn a losing program around; the one thing a losing team must begin to do, as simple/obvious as it sounds, is to begin winning.

Effort has to be there, good practice habits help, team unity sounds great, but actions speak louder than words, and until you start beating the enemy more regularly, you’re still a losing team.

Instilling confidence that they can do that into a group of players takes time and often it means acquiring a lot of new players, people who have played for winning teams in the past and who expect to win.

8) Green Bay kicker Mason Crosby, who made only six of last 13 FGs, has been very good for the Pack since coming out of college (Colorado). Kicking seems to be like golf; you get the yips now and then. Crosby has built up some equity with Green Bay, but he’d be well-advised to get out of his funk fairly soon.

7) Walk-on WR AJ Barker recently quit Minnesota's football team in a dispute about how his ankle injury was treated. Not only did he quit, but the kid went public with his dealings with coach Jerry Kill—he wrote a long, spirited article that was at least a little interesting to read, even if I had never heard of the kid before yesterday.

Barker had gone from walk-on to team's leading receiver, but hadn't gotten a scholarship, which i part of this story. If you like college sports, its an eye-opening story, but I also wonder what was left unsaid by the player. Two sides to every story, you know?

6) Miami Hurricanes weren’t going to a good bowl this year anyway; they applied self-imposed sanctions for this year, hoping to shorten their long-term sentence from the NCAA, something Ohio State should’ve thought of couple years ago.

5) Linesmakers have Notre Dame -6 for their game at USC this week, with Trojans' QB Barkley (shoulder) out. Freshman QB Wittig is said to have a cannon arm, but he’s a freshman QB in a very big spot.

Side note: Matt Cassel of the Chiefs starts for an NFL team, but he never started a game at USC, having been Trojans’ backup QB for Palmer/Leinart, so chances are this Wittig kid is very talented, just extremely raw.

4) Rob Gronkowski broke his arm Sunday while blocking for a PAT that made the score 59-24. Why is he out there at that time? Seems like an interesting question.

3) Texas lost to Chaminade in the Maui Classic, making Rick Barnes first coach to lose to the Silverswords twice in this event-- he also lost to them when he was the coach at Providence. That not good.

2) Mets drew less fans than the Reds LY; since CitiField opened in 2009, their home attendance is down 28.9%. Interesting to see what they do this offseason, to spur interest/ticket sales in an increasingly negative fanbase.

1) I’m tired of listening to people bitch about football coaches; personally, I know next-to-nothing about in-depth football strategy and I watch hundreds of games on TV.

Time management and replay challenges are different, thats something that really isn't football-related, more common sense-related.

Blocking schemes, passing trees, different pass defenses, its not something I’m well-versed in, and I’m guessing 90%+ of average fans aren’t either, so let the coaches coach and be quiet. Guys with the most good players are winning most of the time, anyway.

The week that everyone except Ryan has been waiting for is finally here. Notre Dame/USC week. I can't wait to hear Ryan's fuckin pussy whistle about how OVERRATED this game is. Wear your life preserves so you don't drown in the tears that he will most certainly shed today. This is THE greatest rivalry in all of sports and you like sperm covered turds if you don't agree.

The Good

Michigan's new offense - Okay...so it was technically by default and complete happenstance that Denard and Gardner spent a majority of the game on the field at the same time with Gardner taking multiple snaps at QB. But it's about fucking time it happened! Word on the street is that Denard's nerve injury is so bad he still can't grip a football. Which is good since Gardner usually only has 2 or 3 complete mental meltdowns a game trying to laser beam a pass into quintuple coverage compared to Denard's 10. This also means that Denard will be lining up how he probably should have been from the start. As an athlete playing multiple positions and not a QB.

Tajh Boyd - I think JimmytheGreek wants to have unprotected butt sex with Tajh Boyd. He finds the unnecessary "H" at the end of his first name terribly sexy. Since everything else pretty much went to plan then I have no choice but to talk about Boyd and his 8 touchdowns on Saturday. Pretty gnarly is about all I have to say. You know...I really can't wait to see what NFL teams waste picks on guys like Geno Smiff and Boyd next year. All I know is that it won't be the Browns because they only waste picks on QBs every other year. This is an off year so by rule Cleveland will be blowing early picks on WRs who will be cleaning truck stop bathrooms in 4 years.

The Tard

Maryland to the Big Ten - I get it. You want East Coast viewers. You want a super conference. That's all fine and good but when you decide to expand the teams in a conference that is already declining and weak, you don't adopt the half retarded kid with respiratory problems and eczema from the adoption agency that's about a month away from losing it's Federal funding. The Big Ten doesn't need any more Minnesota's/Indiana's/IlliNOISES. The ones they have are already doing a marvelous job on their own of being the fucking 12 ton anchor that's sinking this ship. I just can't believe that some shithead actually had the fucking balls to say, "I have a good idea...MARYLAND!" and I'm even more befuddled that some dildo stood up next to him and said, "Yeah! He's right! MARYLAND!!" As if the nation needed any more reason to laugh at the Big Ten.

The Tardest

This year's National Title game - Well, all of our darkest nightmares are coming true. Notre Fucking Dame is going to play for the title. And that means that guys like my brother, Mike Golic and all those faggot losers who say Notre Dame is their "second favorite team" (get fucked all the way to Hell on that bullshit) will be insufferable twat scabs for the next decade AT LEAST! It doesn't even matter that the Irish will get anal fucked into oblivion by Alabama (most likely suitor). And they will. These fuck head fans will be more proud of just getting there than Ohio fans were after getting mud holed by Florida and LSU. What a terrible time to be alive. I'm certain the suicide rate increases this week based on this fact alone.

Kansas State and Oregon - My God, K-State! At least Oregon was able to lose with some fucking dignity. But both make it here for allowing Brian Kelly a chance to get an accidental NC. The best part about K-State losing is now everyone has to fake take back the fake Heisman that was already given to the fake best player in country, Collin Klein. Everyone already should have known how much of a gutless turd this guy was based solely on his first name. All Collin's are spineless gutter whores that fold under pressure. See: Cowherd, Colin. This also further strengthens my theory that the Heisman trophy is a fucking sham and should be eliminated as an award.

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