Resolutions get a bad rap because they are usually associated with things you don't want instead of focused clearly on what you do want. When you think about what you don't want, it doesn't feel good. And when you don't feel good, your actions that come from not feeling good tend not to make you feel good. When you focus on what you want, truly seeing and feeling it in your imagination, being aware that you're not focusing on the absence of it, the action you take is going to carry you in the direction you want to go, even if may be in the tiniest of steps. You don't need to get rid of old habits if you form enough new ones that the old ones just lose their space, fall back and start to disappear.

So instead of resolutions - which I have to say - I just looked up the word, and it's not the most dreamy, romantic one...It's based on determination. Which in my interpretation, implies a struggle. If you need to use determination, it means you have to work hard in a way a that is pushing against something - this creates resistance more than progesss in the direction of your dreams and goals. Which is why most resolutions aren't easy - otherwise we wouldn't even need to make them. We'd just do it. So how do we make changes without struggle? How do we motivate ourselve in the direction of our desires without fighting and clawing our way there and giving up in the process?

Inspiration.

It is so easy to do things that feel good and amazing. Especially once you get good at ignoring the voice in your head that tells you these aren't the most important things to be doing. They always are. For me, the easiest example is taking a shower. I often drag my feet and use the excuse that I'm too busy and the children will eat each other if I leave them alone, but omg, after a shower I feel so good. The way my day unfolds after having a shower always feels better.

What if instead of using determination, we could find small ways to let inspiration lead us to our goals? Here's why this is a win win - because it takes the focus off some perceived change in the future and makes you focus on the actual moment you have in front of you. Which is the only moment that holds real power to make change. And because worse case scenario - if you don't reach your goal, you'll have enjoyed so many small moments along the way that you are going to feel damned good. And isn't that the whole point of your goals? You think in the achieving of them, you're going to feel good.

I want to say that I do respect passion driven hard work, where you just can't stop, you end up staying up half the night just to finish. But by the time you've figured out how to ride that excitement, you could argue that it's no longer hard, and it's no longer work. So do we quit if it feels hard? Do we avoid anything that feels difficult, like we need to muscle through it? Not necessarily. But I think at those moments where it becomes a struggle instead of feeling drawn, there is another option between pushing and stopping.

Pause.

A pause implies that you are not stopping your momentum, you're just holding still for a second before you release and continue moving forward. You don't pause a movie that you don't plan to come back to after a bathroom break...A pause means hold on, I'll be right back. Just a moment. And the big magic solution here is going to be what happens during that pause. The bad news is I can't tell you exactly what that's going to be for you...The good news, is I plan to spend 2017 exploring and sharing what I do in that pause. And I have a feeling that stillness that is an important part of a pause.

Taking moments of stillness when I need them, and stepping out of frustration and into inspiration. And practicing this art until it becomes a habit. Whether it is dealing with three year olds full of their own ideas or living a healthier lifestyle or getting started on projects that have lain in fallow fields and are now ready to be seeded...So I won't be running away from frustration and abandoning challenges, but I also won't be blindly pushing through...I'm looking for transformation. A new way to see the situation, something I discover about myself, tools to help me ease myself in the direction I want to move...All of this I so very much look forward to discovering.

I want to learn how to motivate myself with inspiration. I want to be gentle and kind to myself while accomplishing things that have often seemed elusive for me. I want to discover what makes me want to do the work and what transforms it from being work. If I don't make this my mission, I'm going to continue doing the same-old, just under different guises. I want more moments where I feel good, not just an accomplishment at the end. I want to feel good while I accomplish. Whoever said you can't have your cake and eat it too - I want to prove them wrong.

I'm starting by making a list of all the things my heart desires, as putting it into words and writing it down makes it tangible. This isn't a to do list, this is a reminder of what matters to me. Where to look in the pauses. When I need to pivot from frustration to inspiration, this list is the first place I'll look, because even if these things don't look like they'll get me to where I want to go, they all make me feel good. And feeling good is the first step to making good things happen.

Things I want to do with my life, my moments:

-Feel music in my body.-Hug my babies and see them more clearly.-Stay present with their challenges and see how things are working out for them and me at the same time.-I want to enjoy my sleep and wake up feeling refreshed.-Feel the surge of excitement for the possibility the day can hold.-Fill my moments with clarity.-Hold onto the present moment and ride it like a bucking bronco through the ups and downs, the wildness of my thoughts and ideas, my collisions with other's ideas, hang onto it like the tail of a comet.-I want to cook beautiful food that feels good in my body.-I want to play and make art and use my hands.-I want to explore with my babies, discover new places, get lost in the woods (not literally), feel nature in my bones.-I want to lay under trees. -I want to sit still in the sun. -Look up at the stars more often. -Sing out-loud more often. -Sit and laugh with friends. Like laugh so hard it hurts. -I want to be silly and use my body in more silly ways. -I want to make my children laugh. -I want to travel, and even if it isn't far, see the world through the newness of an adventurer's eyes. -Take more moments to see my husband, to just look at him, not in terms of what needs to be done to survive the day, but to see who he really is.-Hug my mom longer, harder, and more often. -Enjoy my physicality, the incredible way my body moves to do even the simplest tasks, like getting out of bed in the morning. -Ask beautiful questions. -Hold my babies hands and feet as much as I possibly can. -Put on lip gloss just because it feels good.-Relish the shit of out small moments and tasks. -Develop a clearer vision of all that I already have. -Remember that where-ever I am is the perfect place to start. -Share my inspirations with those seeking.-See the magic in the people in my life. Make new friends who are radiant.-Become that radiant friend. -Spend more time in the belly of my heart.

My list goes on a bit longer, and I'm always adding to it, but I'll stop it there. I'd recommend making your own list and putting it on your phone or somewhere you can see it when you need it. Two important tips: make sure you word everything in terms of what you want, not what you don't want. It only works if the focus is on your desires. These aren't resolutions, they are your desires. Second, make sure everything on that list feels good when you imagine doing it. If not, take it off for now.

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somebody's got a case of the mondays.

negotiating. i love watching this skill grow and unfold in these little minds and hearts. negotiating is at the heart of all relationship - how do we hear each other's needs and wants and how do we make space for others and our own to fit together? it's the big question looming in the greater world, and the small question asked 100,000 times each day as we navigate through each moment with our partners and children and friends and family and co-workers and strangers.
how do we first get clear on what it is we do reallly want and need? how do we craft our days so that it fits together like a puzzle with the needs of those we love? maybe a sometimes messy puzzle...why do we tend to assume that there is not enough time and space for what we want? Is that really just an excuse because we are scared to go towards what our hearts really long for, and it's easier to be too busy than to enter the unknown space of fulfilling the strange things our hearts sometimes ask for?
i know i'm being asked to grow, to find my ways to contribute and create, not to prove my worth, but because who i am is begging to be discovered by my own self in new ways, and i often shut that door with a slam of "i don't have the time." so i find myself in endless negotiations with myself, and the only sure thing i can count on is kindness. to and for myself. it feels like it all starts there. and only from there can it spread to all the other forms of negotiating with which i play.

avocado toast is not only trendy, it's the breakfast choice of super heroes.

i might be able to make things levitate after this show.
#jonathanwilson

while the intensity of these days can overwhelm me, so also does the love. i try not to imagine that there will be a day when we don't come together like this.

hide and seek. who knew you could ever love buns so much.

they don't always treat each other kindly, but there are these moments when their hearts just connect and i love to peek in on them, careful to not disturb the moment.

she simply untangles all the thoughts that bind me - with just one look from her eyes and the way she directs my face to hers with her little hand on my cheek.

she reminds me how much i have to celebrate every day.

most everything else only matters a little. except this. this matters a lot. a reminder to pay attention to my own focus.

everywhere we went these 4 magical creatures inspired the people around us to enter our world of wonder. the commuter rail has never been so delight filled!

delighting in the little things today.

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~ Marcel Proust |
here's to friendships that know that distance and time do not matter where the heart is concerned : )

if hearts had wings, mine would be made of such as this.

sisters on a warm winter day. really warm.

how is my baby girl 5 now?! please give me the magic power to slow down time. or at the very least, allow me to appreciate and not miss the magic of the small moments that fill these days.

note to self: you don't have to be more _________ (fill in the blank) than someone else, you just need to be more of yourself.

have you ever been driving in your car on the highway when you see a big hill approaching in the distance? it almost makes me wonder if my car can even handle that steep angle. but then a funny thing happens as the hill approaches. it almost seems to flatten out. once you're on it, it doesn't feel nearly as steep as it looked from a distance. i think life is kind of like this. our challenges seem so huge and looming when we imagine them as ideas. but when we are actually knee deep in the middle of them, we usually get to the work of doing what needs to be done and we unearth courage and strength and gentleness and patience we didn't even know we possessed. sometimes i think the ideas i have about my challenges are much scarier than the challenges themselves.
today's deep thought inspired by @sms25 . and a long road trip.

"A contract says if you do something for me, I'll do something for you. A Covenant says I love you." ~ Tim Bergmann (@timojustfun from an interview with @chinesecrets)
Covenant has not been a word I've really known well, so I looked it up and it comes from the latin, "convene" - to come or bring together. So beautiful. Pretty much defines what this man does for me.

nothing like a road trip to make me so excited to have legs that stretch and move. legs are awesome. also, pretty pumped to love on these two hearts of mine, along with their super-dadda, who gives me the precious gift of letting me be me. even when it's messy. which is almost always, if not emotionally, then literally, in the let's do this crazy project i can't pull off alone!