What a Time to Be Alive: You Can Now Make Cocktails With Your Own Tears

The concept of “pity drinking” has just been taken to a new and exciting place.

Bompas & Parr, the art studio/food alchemists behind “breathable alcohol” and the New York Museum of Sex’s whimsical “Erotic Fairground” exhibit, are hosting a workshop on December 15th where you’ll be able to make cocktail bitters out of your tears.

“Having difficulty thinking of a present for your friend or lover who has everything? What could be more meaningful than the gift of you…” the workshop’s description reads. “Arguably the most poignant and personal Christmas gift imaginable, the bitter tears will be delicious as well as a decadent gift.”

If thinking about dogs in Santa outfits or the final scene in The Notebook isn’t enough to get your eyes watering, the workshop’s staff will be employing strong-smelling menthol to induce the tears. (If that doesn’t work, participants will have their eyes massaged to draw out the moisture.)

After that awkward process, participants can choose from a variety of spices and herbs to flavor their tears, which will then be mixed with a neutral-tasting alcohol. And there you have it: bitters that let you craft a cocktail inspired by your very own custom sadness.

I was pretty sad when I got to the Namco Bandai booth however and found out they only brought their fighting games to be played there, which I didn’t bother to try. No, not Pixar standard yet, but Rio will more than do for now. Your objective is to eliminate these monsters and escape the ship.
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