Thursday, January 5, 2017

me

The majority of my life has been spent feeling sorry for myself. I have felt like a burden to others. I don't understand why, most of the time, I bother people so much. I can hide it for the most part, but occasionally it creeps through the walls that I place, and I'm convinced that I'm just an annoyance. I don't bring this up because I want pity. I'm not throwing a party and I'm not inviting anyone. This is me, exposing myself in front of you, explaining how I feel. This is also my way of saying that I'm done. I'm done trying to figure out what I've been doing to annoy people. I'm done trying to please others in an attempt to circumvent a distaste towards me. I'm done trying to be nice because I'm worried that I'll make someone angry. In the back of my mind I know that I'm not bothering anyone. I know that I'm hard to handle at times, but I also know that it's not a fixture in my life. There are people who genuinely like me, and I don't need to hide behind my self-doubt. I'm done with my self-doubt.

These are all just words; words that remain empty if not filled with actions. If I continue to live, hiding my feelings behind my unnerving attitude, then my words remain hollow. I am not longer going to live behind the ass of a person I pretend to be. I'm not going to show my true self. I am going to be who I am, and that's what you'll all have to accept.