Why We Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Yesterday my husband and I finally got to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, at the place we got married one year ago. Correction – technically it should be 1 year and 5 months. But that’s okie since we’ve never been big on dates and anniversaries. We’ve been together for so long we don’t even remember when we actually got together 11 years ago.

Depending on your current status, I guess Valentine’s Day can either can a loving or cursed day. As far as I can remember, I never understood what the fuss about Valentine’s Day was, why people bothered buying gigantic overpriced bouquet of flowers or getting stacked like sardines next to a ton of other couples or why all these only happened on one day of the year. It always seemed a bit contrived and quite unromantic. Obviously the pressure to conform comes mostly from advertisers and retailers who created the need, making it sound like if you don’t shower your lover with gifts on February 14, then you’re not expressing your love well.

But shouldn’t love be celebrated and exhibited every day?

Mr Mode and I tried celebrating Valentine’s Day on the actual day a couple of times (back when we were young and carefree lol), and to be honest they didn’t feel any more special than any other day. Just more expensive, more forced, more pre-packaged.

As his 32-year-old self replied ‘just another day’ when I asked what Valentine’s Day means to him, I too feel that Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean anything except for the meaning we give it. It should not be a way to gauge your self worth or commitment to your partner. I’m not saying that Valentine’s Day is bad, but it shouldn’t make you feel less assured of your love or that buying expensive gifts and dinner means you’ve done your part in the relationship.

Instead of professing eternal love on that one special day, I would think fostering romance every day and sprinkling little surprises into daily life is the stuff love is made of.

When you are tempted to complain that he isn’t romantic (I do, sometimes), try making a list of things to remind yourself that he does, in his own quiet ways. This is particularly effective if your husband is shy and introverted or a hopeless non-romantic, like mine!

Here’s my list:

He calls/texts me during the day in between meetings just to say hi

He cleans the house well – vacuuming, mopping, toilet-washing

He helps with the dishes

He washes his own clothes so that I don’t have to do it for him

He wrestles with me and lets me win

He appreciates my cooking (although sometimes he will nag that I use too many tools)

He makes me laugh, A LOT

When we spend the weekends at home, I will be doing something on my computer and he’ll be watching the TV, and I’ll suddenly miss him and go play with him. I also like to hold his hand while walking around the house. Lol.

I find great joy in being able to cook for him. They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I already got the heart, so now all I want is to make the stomach bigger. BAHAHA! 😆

The reason I wrote this post is because the other day I had dinner with a friend and she was quite upset that she didn’t have anyone to spend Valentine’s Day with this year. I would like to tell her, and anyone who has yet to find the right one, that you deserve someone who will treat you right 365 days of the year, not just once a year.