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Sunday, June 16, 2013

Wrestling: The Kayfabe Countdown - 06/16

#1 Randy Orton [--] (34-13-2)
So, you're telling me after fourteen tag matches with The Celtic Warrior: Randy Ortonfinally gets a Tag Team Championship match -- and it's with Bryan Danielson?! Oh, alright. Truth be told, this is the kind of circumstantial PPV match I get a kick out of. At least until I have to piece it all together in a few years from now. In any event; the real take away from this one is the long awaited split of Team Hell No and the fresh air that lets in!

Not a lot of changes to the top ranks after a jam packed week of competition. The Miz makes a detestable move up the list, while Alberto Del Rio turns heel whilst reclaiming the World Heavyweight Championship at Payback!

Superstar Spotlight:Payback (Pay-Per-View)
Will he or won't he? The answer is: Yes! CM Punk did indeed make his return as scheduled by manager Paul Heyman! It seemed all together too soon to expect the Straight-Edge Superstar back from hiatus -- let alone for another match with Chris Jericho -- but it all went according to plan. Two-fold if you're a believer in Curtis Axel: schmuck faced third generation star who claimed the Intercontinental Championship from Wade Barrett. I'm not going to try to understand it -- that's tempting the abyss. I'll just say: I wish "Bare Knuckle" Barrett would bloody well learn to throw a punch. If you're going to lose (so often), you might as well try to lose with style.

Positioned in a manner that makes losing with style an impossibility: Ryback! The once hot new contender continues to fizzle with diminishing returns, out of his depth in a three stages of time wasting match, which probably should've just stuck with being the originally scheduled Ambulance Match. The top of the ambulance was used as a weapon, which is worth a mention. Otherwise, it's diminishing turns all around from Ryback. John Cena is right where he should be, enjoying a post-Wrestlemania run with the belt. He should be stacking up monsters and knocking them down, one after the other. It's just such a damn shame Ryback had to be one of them. We've talked ad nauseum about the Goldberg plan that was the key to his original success [05/19/2013]. We've talked about where it all went wrong. We can but watch in horror as WWE do what they've become so good at: Creating new wasted opportunities.

Shame about Sheamus and Damien Sandow being bumped to the pre-show. These guys have been doing great work on Smackdown and deserved the PPV platform. I really think they could've squeezed one more match onto the seven match card - even with the three stages of hell. Still, at least they were given ample time in the Kick-Off slot.

The Kayfabe Countdown is based on the cumulative tally of wrestler win/loss records. Tallied results only include matches broadcast during WWE 2013 programming. At present, this includes RAW (Mondays), Main Event (Wednesdays), Smackdown (Friday), and monthly Pay-Per-View events.

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Mike Haseloff: Bare Knuckle Shinobi in Miracle World aka; Ruler of The Cooldude Club. We conquered The House of 99 Roundhouse Kicks & took The Mask of 1000 Horrors. [All villains must pass the citizenship test before joining. No rooms to let. Some space available in crevices of the discharging World Cannon barrel, if interested. Enquire inside. #BlastProcessing]