I’m ok with NEVER growing up

Blah is the word I would use to describe how I’m feeling about next semester and all the years after that. I’m still stuck in the “eff I’m graduating –now what?” zone. I can’t believe that these four years have flown by the way they have, it literally feels like I’m still in high school. I keep waiting for Mrs. Puzzio to call my house and tell my mom I’ve haven’t been showing up to school… for about 4 years.

It’s not that I don’t care about my future, or that I’m lazy, I just feel like a kid still. I wrote as a status yesterday, “I’ve come to the conclusion that I never want to grow up.” I got 10 likes in under 10 minutes. I’ve just started noticing that this is a common feeling amongst people of all age groups. (My grandmother’s best friend, was one of those like’s.!) Lately, with this semester almost over, and then my college career almost over, I’ve wanted time to stop time in it’s tracks.

So, I guess the feeling is mutual- nobody wants to grow up. But, I guess I REALLY don’t want to. I feel, look, act, dress, the exact same as I did in high school. I just had to donate sweaters I’ve had since high school. Maybe, I’m just stuck in high school.

Another piece to this rant, is the other day as I was driving around Albany, it felt like home. This place, this town, I’ve never really considered myself a part of. I always felt like one of those SUNY kids, just around for when school’s in session. But, I’ve grown to like it here, I’ve made friends with not only school peeps, but also employers and young soccer kids that I’ve coached. I like this established 4-year network that I’ve created for myself…and I hate thinking that come May, I’ll have to start all over again, someplace new.

So for now, I’ll continue slacking as probably one of the worst interns in TU history, (well, I hope not…but I might actually be.) and try to stop stressing about the number one thing I have no control of…growing up!

Leann Hlebica, University at Albany

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Leann Hlebica, University at Albany

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