Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

"Some people are not interested in being physically active and some people reap considerably greater benefits from an active lifestyle"

Another scientific breakthrough. And it only took 12 years to figure that out!

Some years ago, and I am NOT making this up, right in the middle of a spike in crime rates arising from cut backs in police overtime (due to a budget overrun caused by there having been an unusually large number of international VIPs that needed protecting being invited to visit Canberra), our whacky local government (motto: we know that nobody likes us, but we're here anyway, so neener! neener!) decided to award a $200,000 research grant to some creative prat, who must have had some remarkable business-case writing skills.

The money was to be used to undertake research and develop a report describing the impact on local native species of plonking the nation's capital down here in the middle of the countryside 100 years ago.

Well derr! The impact on the animals was that they had to find somewhere else live, didn't they? And they are all fairly likely to be dead by now anyway. And its not that we are likely to move the city somewhere else, now is it?

Up there with some of the most compelling reasons to spend taxpayer money I've ever witnessed.

But, to his credit, the researcher was only proposing to spend 12 months to do the work - which is only about 31,536,000 times longer than my 7-year old would have taken to figure out the same thing.

*realises he has been ranting*

Well what do you expect? There you all are, commencing what will undoubtedly be a 4-day holiday consisting largely of an orgy of eating, drinking and lying about, and all I've got to look forward to is a Friday deadline to complete this festering project plan!

*snif*

Or perhaps, knowing the company I keep here, that should read "consisting largely of an orgy, eating, drinking and lying about..."