What is Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a lot like other individual or couples therapy except
that it focuses more directly on the sexual component: your feelings,
your behaviors, your response, your difficulties and your fulfillment.
Because I am also a psychotherapist and couples therapist, there may
not always be a clear line between "regular" therapy and sex therapy.
But you may have discovered that some therapists are not entirely
comfortable or may feel out of their depth in frank and detailed
discussion of these matters. My AASECT certification means that
I am extensively trained, knowledgeable, and experienced discussing
and helping clients in sexual matters.

Sex therapy is a conversational therapy. Therapy sessions involve
no touching, nudity, or sexual contact. As in other therapy, I am likely
to suggest activities and explorations for you to pursue outside of session,
sometimes individually and sometimes with your partner. This homework may
involve reading books or articles or watching videos, or sometimes just
thinking and writing down your thoughts for later discussion, as well the
more physically intimate activities you might expect as homework.

Sexuality is about so much more than how Tab A fits into Slot B.
As Yogi Berra once famously said about baseball, "[this game]
is 90% mental and the other half is physical." When couples feel they're
experiencing problems in sexuality, I often find that there is too
much focus on the physical without enough understanding of the mental;
or that one partner is focused on the physical while another is struggling
with the mental. But it can also be the other way around; overthinking
(or other factors) can interfere with being primally "in the moment" with
your partner. My job is to help you find your way to a balance.

People trying to solve a problem often mistakenly believe they know where
the problem lies and only need to try harder at doing what they're already
doing. I find that is rarely the case. So the homework I assign tends not
to be "more of the same, but try harder." Based on my insights and
experience with other couples, some of the activities I assign may be
things you wouldn't have expected or necessarily associated with your
sexual experience.

But the overall goal is to increase your intimacy and improve your
physical and emotional experience of sexuality, and you'll get plenty
of opportunity to practice those things together, too (at home, of course).