May 11, 2009

I love this kids' song, by Eric Herman, where the father keeps getting the facts wrong, prompting the child to say the right answer.

Do you have something like this with your kids, a structure for a song or a story that moves the child to speak at intervals and to feel — along with the entertainment — a sense of participation and accomplishment?

When my son John was quite young, I had an ongoing bedtime story that I called "A Boy Named John." I'd start with really nothing at all and get as quickly as I could to the question: And what do you think happened next? Whatever answer he gave, I'd express amazement that he got it right and go with a few details and stop again with the question. His answer would always be right, and the collaborative story could go on forever.

IN THE COMMENTS: Henry Buck said:

I'm trying the opposite with my kids. I start a story, ask what happens next, then, whatever answer they give, I say: "What are you, an idiot? Geesh, you'll never amount to anything." Then I take the story on a different track. I'm hoping it will toughen them up for a bleak future.

30 comments:

We don't have to lead my 5-year-old daughter in storytelling; she leads us. My daughter is a big fan of fairies. (For those that require clarification I am talking about the 5-inch-tall Tinkerbell and friends variety.) She will assign us a character and we'll role-play.

I remember after seeing the Fievel Mouse Movie singing the song "There are no cats in America" while driving with my daughters in the back seat. I would always replace the word cats with a different animal and they would correct me in full voice.

I guess it wasn't particularly instructive, but it was great fun. As with all simple, repetetive, juvenile games and jokes, they tired of it before I did.

Luckliy I have a 2 1/2 year old grandson to play with now. It's easier to get new kiddies than it is to get new material.

The first song I specifically wrote as a 'kids' music artist' was "The Elephant Song", which is still a favorite of many (I may spend the rest of my career trying to equal that!). But the original idea and intent for that song was completely different than what it turned out to be. My wife Roseann and I had watched a PBS documentary about two elephant friends who had been seperated at a young age to go work in circuses in different parts of the world. They were reunited many years later and instantly remembered each other and still had an incredible bond. It was more compelling and touching in the presentation than how I'm describing it, but it stirred an intense "reuniting, reconciliation, rebirth, resurrection" kind of emotion in me and made me want to write a song about that, more in a metaphorical sense than anything literally about elephants. Picking up a guitar at that moment the music flowed right out, and I quickly came up with a first verse of lyrics that went something like, "A long time/ I missed you so much/I finally got these chains off of me". And there was another line or two, but I can't remember any more than that. But much as I tried, I just could not get past that first verse of lyrics. Roseann, knowing the source of the inspiration for the music and hearing me trying over and over again to get past that point with the words, started jokingly singing along, "Elephants, I like elephants" when she'd hear me playing that. I sneered and said, "Very funny..." But the way she sang it was catchy and soon I was singing that to myself in the car one day, and for reasons that I can only call some bizarre kind of inspiration, I then added, "I like how they swing through trees." It didn't make any sense at all, of course, but suddenly I stopped and thought, wait a minute, that could actually work... And thus "The Elephant Song" was born.

I'm trying the opposite with my kids. I start a story, ask what happens next, then, whatever answer they give, I say: "What are you, an idiot? Geesh, you'll never amount to anything." Then I take the story on a different track. I'm hoping it will toughen them up for a bleak future.

These are good tricks to play on kids to sharpen their wits. With one of my granddaughters, I would say the wrong word or the wrong color or the wrong name of a character while reading a story she had heard before. They like things right and in proper order and it instills appropriate assertiveness in a small child too.There was never any consequences for correcting Poppa, nothing to be worried about on her part.

We're big fans of the parent-says-something-weird-and-kid-says-"NOOOOO!"-with-a-big-grin-and-corrects-us game. Don't know why that's so fun for everyone involved but it surely is.

I also find myself doing something I HATED WITH A PASSION when my parents did it. I answer almost every question with some variation on "tell me what you think the answer to that is". Or, at least I hated not getting the easy answer fed to me, but often enjoyed the ensuing discussion.

Our kids were treated to the "Baby Ben" books. (Mommy loved her Baby Ben, her small and precious child, but he always disobeyed her. He was reckless, rude, and wild.)

Also to the utterly subversive songs of Barry Louis Polisar, like "The Underwear Song" or the song whose name I don't remember but it features someone named Tommy who tells his mother that he will not go to school today because all the teachers hate him and all the kids laugh at him and make fun of him.

The last line goes something like "You have to go to school, she said. She hoped he'd be convinceable. You have to go to school today because you are the Principal."

Utterly subversive. Some of the Maryland counties tried to get him banned.

We do the "say the wrong word" game with our daughter (age 3 1/2). She's turned it around on us though. She'll not only let us use the wrong word over and over, she'll also intentionally misidentify things herself. (Please believe me when I say it's intentional. She really does know that an apple is not a banana and that green is not purple.)

I've played this game with lots of kids and don't remember one ever doing that before.

I used to do a similar thing, but to get to the next stage of the story they had to do a little problem solving. An action adventurer would come to a fork in the road with two very different paths ahead, or a rough spot in the river with different crossing options, and they would tell me the choice that should be taken to move the character (themselves) on. The consequences would be different for the choices they made.I don't know. I just had it in my head that I wanted my kids to learn about making choices.

Whatever answer he gave, I'd express amazement that he got it right and go with a few details and stop again with the question. His answer would always be right, and the collaborative story could go on forever.Are you sure your recollection is not confused with an Obama press conference?

When reading to my kids, I'd sometimes throw in a digression, just to see if they were listening, e.g., "While Templeton gnawed contentedly on the apple core, Wilbur strolled lazily to the manure pile, where he was suddently eaten by a carnivorous plan. The end."