Parenting

Parenting

19 Things Teen Girls Say (With Translations!)

You're a parent. You may not be bilingual in the traditional, put-it-on-your-resume sense, but if you're experiencing the adventure that is raising a teenage daughter, you do know another language. Teen Speak is more fluid than standard English and more comical than pig Latin, and you have to be fluent in it to communicate with (and eavesdrop on) your pubescent princess. Slang varies from region to region, but some teen girl terminology — and the accompanying sentiments, gestures and eye rolls — is just universal.

Chemistry homework is a form of torture, I don’t feel doing it and the only power I have against it is to question its worth in my future.

7 of 19
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Ugh! No one understands me

I, as a human being, am so dramatically different, so uniquely complex from anyone who has ever been a teenager, I am beyond comprehension. I’m almost mystical.

8 of 19
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Let me put you on speaker.

What you are saying is so golden that everyone in the room needs to hear it.

9 of 19
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K.

I’m done with the conversation and don’t wish to continue addressing the matter at hand.

10 of 19
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Yaaasssss!

I like it! I enthusiastically affirm it.

11 of 19
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She killin’ it.

I’m impressed by her hair, makeup and outfit. She looks great.

12 of 19
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Mrs./Mr. [Insert Teacher Name] just doesn’t like me.

I’m not doing well in a class and I feel better about it when I blame the person who teaches it.

13 of 19
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I’ll do it later.

I’ll wait until the far ends of time to get to it and when you remind me, I’ll get huffy and accuse you of nagging me.

14 of 19
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I need a new phone like tomorrow.

No seriously. Can you buy me a new phone tomorrow?

15 of 19
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I'm omw home

I’m nowhere near being home.

16 of 19
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*Blank stare*

I’m making all kinds of sarcastic comments in my head that would get me roundhoused in real life, so rather than blurt out what I know would lead to swift and epic disaster and an installment plan of punishment, I’ll render an expressionless glare as my weapon.

17 of 19
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OMG, you’re treating me like a child!

I don’t agree with the decisions you’re making on my behalf, so even though I’m claiming to be mature, I will whine and sulk like a kid.

18 of 19
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I’m going to be married by time I’m 25. Probably to [insert name of celebrity heartthrob—in our case, it’s Kendrick Lamar].

No offense, Mommy, but I’m sure my dating life is going to turn out way better than yours.

19 of 19
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I cannot wait ‘til I’m 18.

I’m under the impression that legally becoming an adult will be an instant celebration of independence and liberation. In short, I’m setting myself for a rude awakening.