Have you ever been hurt? Is it that painful that you feel that life is no more? Wronged by somebody you hold dear to your heart. Do not escalate your aching; release the wrongdoer.

Let it be past tense and focus on your future.

You are offended. This offense has caused loss – someone has just decided to take away your happiness. You did not deserve the punishment. This fault was not yours. Someone decided to make the wrong choices or judgment in your life. You are hurting.

As a result, you have lost ‘gold’. You did not deserve “the hurt,” Let it go! What is ‘gold’? In this case, ‘Gold’ is trust in a relationship, hope in life, wages or loss of a child. You try to forget, but your mind reads negative thoughts.

Your ‘hard disk’ is full of negativity, bitterness, and revenge. Your traits are now at another level you are always watching a horror movie in your mind ready to shoot up. The best advice is that you “let it go.”

I am Hurt

Do not keep it to yourself. Yes, you were hurt! Start the healing process. We forgive to free ourselves from slavery. Do not run away from the truth or start numbing out, shrinking, turn on yourself, or pounding on someone in anger. Accept the reality to deal with the situation at hand.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a ‘balm.’ When your heart is wounded, apply this balm; it will heal your heart. Learning how to ‘let go’ is the secret to live in peace. We should decide to free ourselves from corrosive anger.

Biblically, the word ‘forgive’ means “to let it go” in other words having pardon, discharging the way of thinking on an offender regardless whether they deserve your forgiveness or not. It’s an obedience to God.

Do not show antipathy towards the offender. Forgiveness, therefore, is the act of pardoning the offender. You deliberately accept and release this burden putting your focus ahead.

Forgiveness is divine – “Forgiveness is more than saying sorry.” Forgiveness pacifies the beat and calms the heart. ‘Toxic substances’ should not over exhaust the heart.

Forgiveness is a pathway to healing; it can repair bring back things to normalcy especially where there is destruction – a wholly damaged relationship can be repaired.

Yes, a relationship will be repaired or healed, but it will not be “a walk in the park” to bring it back to normalcy. Forgiveness embraces grace and sympathy. Nevertheless, it does not mean that the offender should not meet the consequences, by facing legal battles.

Professionals who teach about forgiveness say that when forgiving do not allow or deny the seriousness of an offense done against you. It is not easy to forget.

What forgiveness is not

On the other hand, having known the definition of forgiveness, it is essential to be on familiar terms with what forgiveness is not.

You will not wait for a feeling of mercy to come your way nor find you. No! Forgiveness is not a feeling but obedience to God.

Forgiveness is not pretense. You accept and act. Take an example of Jesus; he dealt with the shortcomings that occurred.

He was not at peace after the loss of Lazarus. Jesus was sorrowful. He did not pretend to be happy! He wept. Jesus wept. John 11:35 we also mourn when in sorrow. Why are you feeling hurt and bitter within? Act! However, you are obligated to act accordingly on such poor choices done against you. (Matthew 26:39)

Forgiveness is like a “willing buyer willing seller” it is a choice. You can decide not to forgive and live with the pain.

Just like love, forgiveness is unconditional. You will not expect any favor from a heart that seeks forgiveness. You will not put boundaries.

Forgiveness is not accepting defeat, neither is it justice. Justice occurs when the wrongdoer acknowledges, apologizes and punished. The wages of sin is death.

Forgiving and forgetting are two parallel words. They are “unlike poles” therefore; forgiving does not mean forgetting they are not the same. When you falsify yourself in forgiveness, you are sinning and not forgiving. Sin is a barrier between God and man.

Forgiveness is not a gateway to deny, that which is rightfully yours. When you are hurt, your rights are in betrayal or your image damaged; it causes so much pain. Forgiveness is a process; it is a progressive system.

At times, we think we forgave, and yet we find ourselves back to the pain. You question yourself from within; “How could she do this to me?”“How could this happen to me?” Never mind go back to the drawing board and start the process of forgiveness again. Start all over again. It is a process – to release the wrongdoer.

Its all about realizing the mistake and pronouncing the two words, “Pardon me.”

Why have you offended someone and did not ask for forgiveness?

“An apology can turn a clumsy mistake into a priceless gift” What does “Pardon me” or “Please forgive me” cross your mind. As many say, “Find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Oh! You sinner: you too, should not let the sun go down without asking for pardon or rather, without making things right. One should ask for a release – remission after committing an offense. Why is it so? The consequences “are prized.” The wages of sin is death. Is it costly? Yes indeed.

For instance, you have caused a loss; I mean any loss due to ignorance while practicing prowess or trying to prove a point, your “bill” is on its way coming. You will receive a charge sheet. The wages are expensive. It does not exterminate responsibility. (James 5:4).

Forgiveness is an act of God.

What made you cry will be outdated. It is not revenge that heals but letting it go not caring where it lands. By and by, you will recover. It is not the way you started but how you drove your life until it reached the end. What have you planted? Did you know the season of harvest would happen? Let God be our guide always.

An unforgiving heart can lead to depression find a therapist if it hurts too badly.

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“People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.”