Having the “ No Baby Talk ”

Guest Author - Patricia Pedraza-Nafziger

The question of whether or not to have a baby is not a decision to be taken lightly, particularly for younger couples who have decided to make a long-term commitment to one another. These days however, with more women excelling in their careers and establishing a sense of self prior to committing to a relationship, marriages are happening a little later in life, if they happen at all. As a matter of fact, according to a study by the U.S. Census Bureau, cohabiting couples have increased from 1.1 percent in the 1960s to 11.6 percent in 2010.

Statistics aside, when you are in love, life is great. It is all about pleasing one another and having a great time together. Consequently, when fun love turns to serious love, and fantasies of a long-term relationship start crossing your mind, there are various topics that need to be addressed to ensure you have common goals. One of those topics is whether or not to you want to have children. Some handle the topic of procreation by saying, let the chips fall where they may, while others are quite certain that having a baby is a territory they have no desire to explore.

Bringing up the No Baby Talk to the person you would love to spend the rest of your life with can be a bit of a daunting task. There are several ways you can approach your desire to live a childfree lifestyle, but the method you select will depend on how well you know your potential life partner. If there are any indications that he or she may want children, it might be wise to lay out a foundation of the strong qualities and common goals that your relationship currently has without children. Having the No Baby discussion before marriage is your responsibility. If your wedding date is just around the corner, and the subject has not been discussed, you need to address it. If you are quite certain you understand the reasons why you do not want to procreate, keep a mental note listing the reasons you feel so strongly about the choice. Then, when you are approached with the no baby question, explain your reasons in detail no matter what they are. You owe your long-term companion an honest explanation.

Just as it is important to explain the reasons you do not wish to procreate, it is equally important for those who do want children to discuss their reasons as well. Understanding and appreciating the needs and desires of your best friend and future companion will help you move forward with the best decision as a couple. Getting married without the No Baby Talk may lead to long-term resentment and eventually a failed marriage if the other aspires to have a child and you do not. It is essential to understand that in addition to love, friendship, and honesty, meeting the needs of one another is vital to the long-term success of a relationship.