#18 – You Won’t Let Me Help You

I am so sorry for the hiatus on this. Things have just been hectic and weird, but WE ARE BACK! This is number eighteen of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. I consider “bro” and “brah” gender neutral. I use them in my day to day life to refer to people of all gender identities.

18) You Won’t Let Me Help You

Okay, look, I know that I am a Normal, but seriously? I feel as though most superhero(in)es need as much help as they can get, but they always refuse to accept it from their significant others. Oh no! I don’t want to put you in danger! Well, too fucking late bro! You already put me in danger by sleeping with me! Also, it’s okay for you to be in danger, but not me? Double standards, brah, double standards.

And I know that I don’t have super strength or speed or otherworldly intelligence, but I got two degrees, two ears, a big heart, and a really smart brain. You superhero(in)es are always blowing shit out of proportion and creating the most elaborate and unnecessarily involved plans to take down the bad guys. Sometimes you need a little bit of Occam’s Razor and perhaps the person WITHOUT SUPERPOWERS might be the one to smack you over the head with it or at least help you take out steps 5-19 which are obviously just there to help you with your martyr complex and screen time.

I could totally be your sidekick if you would stop being a glory hog for one minute! I mean look at Pepper Potts, she is a total badass and could help Tony more. Also, Felicity Smoak! I am a universe of untapped potential over here! I might not look the best in the supersuit, but I can kick serious butt!