STOKES QUAD — On Monday, witnesses reported that Tom Reilly (CSOM ‘21) was “impossiblysweaty.” Temperatures had been approaching the high 80s, but many students were shocked that any one man could be capable of such voracious perspiration, according to sources.

Nearby students noted that Reilly was wearing khaki shorts and flip-flops, so he definitely wasn’t coming from the Plex. In fact, he didn’t even look like he was in a rush.

“Could he possibly have gotten that sweaty just from walking around? It looked like he just got out of the shower, and then instead of a towel, he tried to dry himself off with more water.” said classmate Katie Farrell (MCAS ‘21), who was at the scene.

Reilly could not be reached for comment because The New England Classic staff writers realized that it could be a genetic thing, and they would have felt like dicks for asking. Still, though. He was super fucking sweaty.