Top Annoying Things About Being Pakistani

A beautiful baby girl is brought into this world – the mother is smiling, tears of joy in her eyes. The first question: “Who are we getting her married to?”

Why do all Pakistani parents worry about their daughters getting married? If you’re older than 18 they start having panic attacks about them staying single forever because they will have passed their prime age. Really?

2. Rice

Our diet is basically made up of rice and curries. God forbid if any Pakistani household went a day without it.

3. Paracetamol

Is the solution to all health problems, say all Pakistani parents. I have a headache – paracetamol. I have cramps – paracetamol. I’ve cut myself – Paracetamol. I’m drowning – Paracetamol.

4. The Aunties and Uncles and the Families

Two problems here. First of all why do we have such huge families?!

Secondly, the “aunties” and the “uncles” – the self-righteous do-as-I-say elderlies who make it their life mission to guide you in life and show you the right path. Can I just say this is NOT appreciated when you are in your late-teens and having a rebellious streak.

5. Take Your Pick: Doctor or Engineer

Because those two professions are the only ones you’re allowed to pursue. Hmm, you think, that’s why all the Pakistani friends I have are doing the Sciences.

6. Grades

If you don’t get all A’s at school you are a failure.

7. Dogs are Scary

If you’re Pakistani and you’re not scared of dogs – there’s something wrong with you. We are born with this fear and I’m sure there’s some historical event causing us to evolve into dog-fearing people, but I don’t know it.

8. The Films

They never end. If you start one at the age of 13, it’ll end when you’re 15.

9. The Roles

Man: Is the bread winner.

Woman: Is the child-bearer and home-maker.

Don’t even try fighting this age old system, it’s unnatural.

10. We Can’t Tell the Time

If your auntie tells you to come to hers for 5, what she really means is 6. DO NOT get there before 6. If you want people to come by 7, tell them to come at 6.