1. The new Commissioner of the IPL, replacing Lalit Modi, will be anIAS officer, 1989 batch, transferred from the Food Corporation ofIndia .

2. Mayawati will demand, however, that the new Chairman should be herown candidate, Mr Dalit Modi.

3. The name of Mumbai Indians will immediately be changed to MumbaiManus. It will, naturally, field only Maharashtrians (preferablyMaharshtrian Brahmins). All other players will have their legs broken.

4. The Chennai Super Kings team will renamed Dravida Cricket Kazhagam.Subsequently one faction will break away and the team will split intoDCK and AIADCK, owing allegience to Karunanidhi and Jayalalitharespectively.

5. Each political party will have its own team: BJP Bandits, CongressCobras, CPI Cadres, Samajwadi Strikers, CPM Challengers, TrinamulTigers etc.

6. Auction of players will be replaced by teams calling for tendersfor players. The lowest priced players will be picked.

7. Mayawati will demand that SC/ST players will need to run for only18 yards instead of 22 yards between the wickets.

8. Third Umpire requests will have to be filled in triplicate and dulynotarized.

9. Cheerleaders will be replaced by retired Air-India air hostesseswho will perform the folk dances of the states they represent duringbreaks.

10. IPL matches will be shown only on Doordarshan. They will betelecast the day immediately following the match, from 4 a.m. to 7.30a.m. and subsequently from 3.30 a.m. to 7p.m, subject to satellitelink-up availability.

11. Between each innings break Doordarshan will telecast the news inHindi, followed by news for the hearing impaired.

12. Pakistan will immediately announce its intention to start its ownversion of the tournament called PPL and Mr Zardari will make a visitto Washington to meet President Obama and seek an additional grant of$1 billion to fund it

Most importantly, it will be the Indian Premier League for Kabaddi, the national game.

doofus_maximus wrote:from an email forward

1. The new Commissioner of the IPL, replacing Lalit Modi, will be anIAS officer, 1989 batch, transferred from the Food Corporation ofIndia .

2. Mayawati will demand, however, that the new Chairman should be herown candidate, Mr Dalit Modi.

3. The name of Mumbai Indians will immediately be changed to MumbaiManus. It will, naturally, field only Maharashtrians (preferablyMaharshtrian Brahmins). All other players will have their legs broken.

4. The Chennai Super Kings team will renamed Dravida Cricket Kazhagam.Subsequently one faction will break away and the team will split intoDCK and AIADCK, owing allegience to Karunanidhi and Jayalalitharespectively.

5. Each political party will have its own team: BJP Bandits, CongressCobras, CPI Cadres, Samajwadi Strikers, CPM Challengers, TrinamulTigers etc.

6. Auction of players will be replaced by teams calling for tendersfor players. The lowest priced players will be picked.

7. Mayawati will demand that SC/ST players will need to run for only18 yards instead of 22 yards between the wickets.

8. Third Umpire requests will have to be filled in triplicate and dulynotarized.

9. Cheerleaders will be replaced by retired Air-India air hostesseswho will perform the folk dances of the states they represent duringbreaks.

10. IPL matches will be shown only on Doordarshan. They will betelecast the day immediately following the match, from 4 a.m. to 7.30a.m. and subsequently from 3.30 a.m. to 7p.m, subject to satellitelink-up availability.

11. Between each innings break Doordarshan will telecast the news inHindi, followed by news for the hearing impaired.

12. Pakistan will immediately announce its intention to start its ownversion of the tournament called PPL and Mr Zardari will make a visitto Washington to meet President Obama and seek an additional grant of$1 billion to fund it