I grew up in Chicago’s West Rogers Park neighborhood, which is predominately an Assyrian, Indian, and Jewish hood, so I didn’t grow up hearing a lot of Waylon, Patsy, or Chris Gains’ alter-ego–Garth Brooks. Thanks to Hulu and a realization that I need to stop re-watching The Wire, I fell in love with ABC’s Nashville. Just like The Wire, the Nashville music scene is a cut-throat milieu where one minute you’re on top of the game and the next minute you’re gun down (well not really, except for that inexplicable time the first lady of Nashville was shot–RIP Peggy Kenter.) Oh and Hamsterdam architect Major Bunny Colvin has been on it too, soooo there, I take it back, the analogy still works!

After one episode of the melodramatic Nashville and you realize it’s ridiculously ridiculous and #SorryNotSorry but I love it. And even if you can’t stand the occasionally cringeworthy dialogue there’s some legit musical performances every episode. Read More…

This running NBA Draft diary should have ultimately been just live-tweets I tweeted, but I watched the draft on a delay because my cable provider can’t stream my Apple TV at a faster speed than AOL-’96-As-F**k. I stayed twitter dark as to not spoil the lack of drama I wanted to witness for myself.

I used to cover the WNBA’s the Chicago Sky, and the Chicago dudes squad a few years ago, so I am in no way qualified to talk about sports, but that never stopped the internet, so here’s NBA 2014 Draft Diary/Tweet quips I should have made!

1. Cleveland Cavs–they took extra time, to make sure Andrew Wiggins had a work visa, and didn’t have that pesky Canadian sleep-conditions/a case of the chubbies, like last years number one pick Anthony Bennett.

2014-15 Season Expectations: Wiggins Will take his talents to South Beach seven years from now.

2. Milwaukee Bucks- the humble Jabari Parker, said “understatement” instead of “overstatement” when it came to his potential, making twitter overreact as it only knows how–I’d imagine, I didn’t go on twitter. He also gave a shout out to the Great Lakes!

2014-15 Season Expectations: Parker will win Rookie of the Year, and do what most Milwaukee-ians do on their days off, take the train to Chicago and check out the Bubba Gump’s at the Navy Pier. Read More…

An edgy buzz phrase that all the kids (redditors) are saying on social media is “Zero Fucks Given“. Other iterations of the phrase are: “Not a single fuck was given“, “I gave none of the fucks“, “Bullshit: 1 Fucks: 0“, “Exactly/percisely no fucks given“, and my own offering to the lexicon of internet speak”I would say fuck you but that would mean I had an iota of fucks to spare–which I don’t because keeping tracks of my fucks would imply that I give a fucks about shit and alas I don’t fucks with fucks-tracking.”

But what if you’re like me and don’t idle on apathy? I sweat the small stuff, worry about nonsense, and overanalyze everything. The concept of giving zero fucks is fucked up to me. What if we all didn’t contribute our fair share of fucks? It’d be a no fucks free for all!!

Let’s take a look at those who perpetually don’t award fucks to anything and ask yourself if you’d like to be in this bad company:

Lululemon, and Abercrombie when it comes to staying in business. YouTube commentors. Those kids on the bus with dat swag who might beat the shit out of you. Read More…

AUSTIN, TX–SXSW is ground zero for techies and fest loving fashionistas. The two ilks have co-mingled and have birthed a hybrid baby. Wearable Technology like Google Glass, or watch calculators are sooo 55 minutes from now. Here’s a few prototypes that may hit the runways IRL in Milan or on the cyber-bohemian streets of the #ATX:

American Apparel’s Pacemaker on Your Sleeve: This is for the emotionally-open elderly who ooze sex appeal. This classic white tee made in an American sweatshop harkens back to the Hot-Rod 50’s where rolling up a pack of cigarettes was all it took to make one a teenage wet dream. This shirt allows rebels with causes–like watching FOX NEWS, and cash’in dem sexy $ocial $ecurity checks–to capture that youthful invincibility, but with a vulnerability you could bring home to mom. PYS allows seniors to roll their fully functional pacemakers in their left sleeve for optimal badass-ness. James Dean, eat our fake hearts out! Read More…

Earlier this week it was “reported” by a French news outlet, that some rando paparazzo is claiming that President Barack Obama and R&B’s Beyonce were having an affair. In today journalist milieu, it’s a race to be the first to shoot the click bait links on your front page, and then ask questions later, if at all. So with that said, let’s run with this information before someone trips us with obstacles like the truth, or the discrediting of sources who’s gig is to exploit celebrities in compromising positions without context.

Can a high profile friends-with-bennies couple of this magnitude juggle their spotlighted lives and some causal hanky-panky–which could ultimately cause the free world as we know it to collapse in on itself? Is President Barack Obama ready for all that jelly that comes with extramarital flings? Will Beyonce be “Crazy In Love” with the idea of her name being made into tabloid headline puns like “Obama’s New Bey-ghazi”? Who cares, this doesn’t directly affect us, let’s have fun ranking the other potential celebrity power couples who I’d love to see commit adultery! Read More…