Ambition is Critical

We've all been there, most likely in our youth, but I'd like to
think it happens to every heart that ever did beat. Just imagine,
you've started a new venture in life, going solo into the
unknown. Becoming something new like the birth of a star in the
void - not predicting the grand finale. Then, a feeling strikes
as if you've finally hit the heights of that so-called cloud
nine. Its like a chemical epiphany that speaks to you, and you
become enthralled out of nowhere faced with the possibility of a
new ambition for that 'word' we all doubt would ever touch base.
You feel it nearby and the unfamiliar evironment around it turns
into a haze, expecting to become familiarity. Like the space
around it is what you inadvertantly crave like forthcoming
expectations are lining up to come forth and the tarnished taunts
timely fade away, leaving us feeling like Long-awaited
Outcomes Validates Euphoria (a feeling
like no other). That self-doubt no longer casts it's shadow. It's
that liberating feeling, that won't need to have experienced
before to know what it is. This is attraction in its highest form
and we all want it. But what happens when you both want it, but
can't have it? Purely out of being victims of circumstance.
Rather like being the victim of an unfaithful relationship. On
the bright side, it allows you to discover new possibilities,
liberated from the shackles of before. You are now free to find
those old feelings of belonging once again.

Socially everything on the surface seems to be as normal and as
much in equilibrium as it ever is. Yet, the social ripples and
little signs are there nonetheless. For starters, you lucky
people, who may be entwined in a romantic cold war, will
undoubtedly start to behave differently. Any alteration of
behaviour is purely a result of the pursuit of our own personal
Nirvana; careful though, it's such a highly sought-after state
that it should ebraced carefully and nurtured. Like a jigsaw
piece that doesn't fit, you intend to make it fit out of sheer
volition and conviction. Although, these two servants of Nirvana
constantly nudge us in different directions. They are artists of
subtlety. They worm their way into us as we remain powerless to
their whims. We smile when otherwise we wouldn't, and scrape to
find time with one another. It is a drug, and we are all of us,
addicted.

For now, we'll just focus on this new haze that seems to have my
attentions fixed in place. Everyone else around me and my new
fascination, react in turn, with not so much as a grain of sand's
worth of subtlety. 'Hm', I think, 'So they can smell the
chemistry a mile away it seems'. Unless you take a more 'under
the radar' approach, never forgetting your aim almost like
consciously avoiding awkward moments to earn the rights to play
it cool when you need to. My new addiction need not be hidden
away from all around me, despite how it would have been nice to
keep a veil over it. If anything, it boosts my high a little and
conjures up a whole new set of scenarios for me to wrestle with
in my mind. In there, amongst crackling synapses, is an arena of
constant debate. Next to it is another arena, debating the
debates and questioning their validity. It doesn't matter how
much I try to settle the quarrel, the raging thoughts will always
win and maintain their place in my mind, cockily reminding me
that I am just another human being. Not to worry though, this
haze seems to be rubbing off on me; it seems to be growing
stronger and genrates nothing but smiles and laughter in the
people who get a taste of it. I could spend the rest of my days
on this high and happily spread it from person to person, from
nation to nation. I dare say Bob Marely felt the same way. The
people who surround this floaty experience are oh so important to
it.

Like a drug that makes you paranoid or overly sensitive to your
surroundings; the instict that says 'woah look out'. Its that
same constant reminder! It speaks to you every day, the reactions
of other people to you, and your chemistry with your newfound
fascination. You interact with this thing that makes you feel at
ease with effortless form, all the while just noticing the
'others'. What do they say off in the distance? What do they know
already that perhaps you don't? How are they looking over and
what could be read in their eyes if we could learn their
thoughts? While all these microcosms create the environment that
you have to live with alongside your new addiction, they also
fuel your ambitions. The constant Sherlock Holmes in all of us
wants to take it all in, incase they leak any information to help
boost this potentially amazing experience. If you're reading
this, be warned it is an emotional rollercoaster. If it were
bottled up the creators would have a status that couldn't be
exceeded.

This is all coming across as a chemical experience that you
should enjoy with total liberty. Alas it is not mine and like I
said at the start, I am still expecting it to become familiar; as
opposed to knowing it as familiar. This expectation will drive
anybody's subconscious to cling on. We enjoy toying and chasing
with the expectation that the climax will be reached. Its when we
sleep that we realise how it has truly snuck into our lives, like
a late husband will sneak under the sheets next his sleeping
wife. We have a dream that is just as bizzare and blurry as any
other dream. Like the gut feeling we have whilst awake, that
feeling is stood right there, out of context in the middle of the
dream. We didn't ask it to be there, yet it persists in our minds
even when switched off. Remembering all the while that some
dreams become reality. We all know this, and it's why we let it
in to perpetuate the feeling we all enjoy.

The haze, the fascination, the chemical rush we all want and need
as you may have guessed by now, is romance. Its the pursuit of
the one. We are pushed to keep going the whole time, by some
entity that tells us we need it like a drug.. After all these
thoughts swirling around in mine and undoubtedly, your head
aswell, is it any wonder we're held back most of the time by a
fear of rejection or change? Obviously to find love is a change
we want, but when we confront it, we have to fear the change that
its dissapearance would bring aswell. We constantly have to weigh
up the good potential future we dream of alongside the person of
our choice, with the world we don't want to go back to. The world
of square one. Starting all over again is never fun. So keep this
article to one side, you may need it one day.

But when we finally finish the thrill of the chase, if you have
caught the right person then your high love. it will continue to
be thrilling without any nudging in the right direction. We all
know if we're in the right place or not. If we're not in the
right place, life will throw obstacles at you. We need to fight
off all these crazy thoughts in the name of happiness; looking
out for number one, staying on the good sides of human nature.
Love is that natural high that we all crave and like most of this
article it certainly seems to be like a drug. Once it's in your
system, you want more and more, in turn giving you a new
perspective on the world around you. There's someone there who
can do that for you without even trying. That someone is who we
hope to meet and show us the way to cloud 9.

So there you go. Another insight into my mind and it's constant
fued with the concept of love which is the best emotion to feel.
Perhaps, now that you know what this article is really about, you
can read it again. I'd like to imagine it will mean something
different the second time around.