Darn it, I’m Still Keeping Score!

I’ve been very inspired lately. Blogging daily and implementing inspired ideas on a regular basis. It feels good to be motivated again. Because quite honestly, up until a few months ago, that wasn’t the case.

I was lost.

Trying to figure out what was next. But as soon as l let go of my marketing business, clarity came rushing in. My new blog, Following Inspiration, was born. Or rather re-born, after sitting dormant for the past few years.

It feels great to have a direction again.

I’m striving to stay present, and just show up everyday and do what I’m inspired to do. As I’ve shared, I’m not sure where it’s all leading, and I’m trying to be OK with that.

I’m clear that right now my job is simply to write and share. To build a platform. To set the stage, and fill the audience, if you will, for whatever is to come next.

So I write.

And now, I’m also setting up interviews and having so much fun talking to others about how they’re following inspiration. It’s inspiring to hear how others are building businesses and changing their lives, by following inspired ideas.

I love hearing about the magic that shows up when people learn to let go.

When they trust that if they do their part, the Universe (or God, or whatever you choose to call it) shows up and lends a helping hand. Often in ways that yield what I refer to as pinch-me-moments.

Attachment.

However, I realized after a couple of really busy weeks, that I was letting myself get a little too attached again. Doing work that feels totally inspired and awesome and right in the moment. Putting it out into the world. And then watching the pot boil. Waiting for results. Looking for comments, responses, feedback, you name it.

I realized it’s hard work letting go.

Especially when you’ve been holding on so tight your whole life. The good news is, I realize it nowadays. I start to feel all balled up inside. Anxious. Wanting to keep score. Measuring results. And it doesn’t feel good.

That’s when I know I’m holding on too tight again.

And it’s time to let go. So I take a day off and do something totally unrelated to building my online empire ;-). And you know what? I feel better. I remember why I’m doing what I’m doing. Simply to share. And, for the enjoyment of doing so. Not to win any race. Not to beat my competitors. Not to make a million dollars. And most certainly not to prove anything to myself or anyone else.

I’m doing what I’m doing because I’m being called to do it.

It’s clearly feels like my purpose. My mission. A calling to share this inspired journey with the world. And to connect with others who appreciate it, are living it too, or who want to.

Doubting Thoughts.

The other day my husband and I were walking the dogs and he shared that he’s been getting in his head lately about something. Over the past seven months or so he’s dropped a lot of weight. He looks great and feels better than he has in years. But this has been a lifelong battle for him. A battle he’s repeatedly lost. He shared that something happened that caused him to question whether he could keep the weight off this time. He was angry at himself for having doubts.

Why couldn’t this time be different?

I found myself counseling him. Telling him that lifelong behaviors and beliefs don’t just magically disappear. Even when we work on them a lot, they stick around, under the surface, waiting to be triggered. Perhaps in a moment of weakness, or in circumstances that stir up old habits.

I shared that even after practicing Let Go & Trust for 10 years, I still fall down. And in fact, had found myself holding on and expecting results again this past week. I explained that’s all that was happening with him, too. Those old thought processes are still there. They’ll likely show up now and again. But he doesn’t have to buy into them. And in fact, he had made great progress just by being aware of them, and wanting to fight them.

While we may want to believe that once we step onto an inspired path, we will never encounter trouble or doubting thoughts again, that’s not realistic. Old habits die hard. But they can stay buried if we remain mindful and don’t allow ourselves to get carried away by them.

In the end it’s about choice.

We have the ability to choose in every moment which thoughts we want to entertain and which ones we want to release. Which actions we want to pursue and which ones we want to leave behind. While it may be something we continue to battle, it is a battle we can win. And it’s worth the fight.

If you were inspired by this post, please consider sharing it and spreading the word about following an inspired path.