Wednesday, March 18, 2009

trans youth face extreme harrassment redux

I faced harassment as a kid back in the early 1960's. Bullies and their followers often targeted me for harassment because of my feminine mannerisms and traits. "Sissy," "fairy," and "faggot," were some of the epithets hurled my way.

Occasionally, there was some physical abuse, but due to my imposing size, the bullies usually refrained from physical abuse and took the safer way out sticking with verbal abuse to put me down.

The big difference between trans kids being harassed today and me being harassed back then is that I had no idea why I was being harassed. As an older and wiser adult, I put two and two together and figured out why I was harassed as a kid. But back then, I did not know I was transgendered. The word "transgendered" did not even exist back then.

Back then, I did not even realize that I exhibited feminine traits and mannerisms. I did not purposely act in a feminine way. I just acted naturally and to my peril, what was natural tended towards the distaff side of that great divide.

All I knew is that I was male and I acted as my natural self; wasn't that good enough to allow me to be part of the boys' club?

It was not and as a result, I was very confused because I could not understand the cause of my abuse.

I don't know if it would have made a difference if I knew the reason. Maybe I would have tried to act more masculine in order to fit in. Maybe not.

If I did try to act more masculine, would I have ever tried on that first pair of nylon stockings and high heel shoes? Would I have completely suppressed my natural feminine persona never to become the transwoman I am today?

So, considering the era in which I grew up, maybe things turned out for the better.

2 comments:

I can relate to your post as I taunted by the bullies as well; like you said I did not understand how I felt either. As a result, it took me a long time to accept my desire to dress. Thank you for such a wonderful blog.