A lot of yesterday was spent recovering from the Iris Trauma. Iris was fine — the rest of us were limp with exhaustion.

I also made a huge, life-changing (for me) decision: I requested an honorable withdrawal from the wardrobe union. This means I’m no longer an active member, although, should I choose to return in the future, I could request reinstatement and the membership would vote on it.

It’s scary, because I’ve defined myself by my work in the theatre since I was 18 years old (a long time ago at this point). Theatre — as transient as it is — has always been my safety net.

But I needed to do it, to deal with my life. I couldn’t keep getting pulled in so many directions, and not give my all to anything.

Scary, scary, scary. Necessary, necessary, necessary. Hopefully, this makes room for some writing projects with equal weight as the shows to come into my life.

My first instinct was to scuttle across and join one or more writers’ union. I feel naked without union ballast. Yet, at the same time, I want a bit of time (even if it’s only a few days) to see what it feels like. I’ll definitely join one or more writers’ unions over the course of the next few months — partially in order to be eligible for insurance. It’s one of the reasons I felt less guilty about withdrawing from the wardrobe union– they’ve made it impossible for me to meet my non-theatrical commitments and still have insurance. I can’t wait four years for whatever health care reform does or does not make it through Congress. And I can’t afford the insurance rates around here, which are higher than apartment rents — and in New York, that’s saying something. So theatrical commitments (unless they’re writing) have to be tabled. I’ve felt frustrated and constrained and betrayed by my union for over a year — why not take an honorable withdrawal and get some distance? Try a new way of doing things? Too much connected with that part of my life was no longer enhancing it. Getting trapped in the financial aspects only made me bitter.

Still, it’s scary. And necessary.

On a lighter note, I’ll be speaking at the school I attended for Middle school grades in early November, talking about career as a process, not a fixed, finite object. Most of the people who talk to the students are 9-5‘ers. I’m working on, shall we say, a much broader and more diverse canvas.

Started work on the essay, talked some more to my editor. Too tired and unfocused to do much, so I’m going to Greenwich today instead.

Did some work on the NYFA grant application. I don’t know if it’s gotten simpler over the years, or if I’m just more comfortable and adept at the application process. Choosing the work samples will be the big challenge. I think I’m going to use some short stories. I’m thinking of “The Merry’s Dalliance”, “The Retriever” and either “Peace of the Night” or “Lucky’s Choice.” Let’s face it — the committee is not going to take HEX BREAKER seriously, no matter how big the fan base or how good the reviews.

Didn’t get a lot done today. Exhausted, and, well, writing up the Prague essays and choosing photographs takes a lot of time. I took 600 photographs on the trip.

I’ve got to deal with scumbag landlords some more, confirm whether or not it’s true that one of our nastiest neighbors died, and then get over to Greenwich Library to work on my essay. I got a lovely letter from a new-to-me editor for another publication — she can’t use the pitch I sent, but asked if I would be willing to write a different piece. I’d love to — gotta do some more research for that.

Busy day. Blinding headache. Iris is playing with her ball, so I guess she feels fine, thank goodness.

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GWEN FINNEGAN MYSTERIES

Archaeologist Dr. Gwen Finnegan is on the hunt for her lover’s killer. Shy historical researcher Justin Yates, frustrated with his failing relationship, jumps at the chance to join her on a real adventure through Europe, pursued by factions including Gwen’s ex-lover and nemesis, Karl, as they try to unspool fact from fiction in a multi-generational obsession with a statue of the goddess Medusa.
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Stuck in NYC when plans for their next expedition fall through, Gwen and Justin accept teaching jobs at different local universities. Adjusting to their day-to-day relationship, and juggling the academic and emotional demands of their students, they are embroiled in two different, disturbing, paranormal situations that have more than one unusual crossing point. Can they work together to find the answers? Or are new temptations too much to resist? For whom are they willing to put their lives on the line? Available on multiple digital channels here.

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SAVASANA AT SEA

Yoga instructor Sophie Batchelder jumps at the chance to teach on a cruise ship when she loses her job and her boyfriend dumps her in the same day. But when her boss is murdered, and the crew thinks she's taking over her predecessor's blackmail scheme, Sophie must figure out who the real killer is -- before he turns her into a corpse, too. A Not-Quite-Cozy Mystery.
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COVENTINA CIRCLE ROMANTIC SUSPENSE

PLAYING THE ANGLES
Witchcraft, politics, and theatre collide as Morag D’Anneville and Secret Service agent Simon Keane fight to protect the Vice President of the United States -- or is it Morag who needs Simon’s protection more than the VP?
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THE SPIRIT REPOSITORY
Bonnie Chencko knows books change lives. But she never expected her life to change because she happened to duck into a small bookshop in Greenwich Village on a rainy late November night. She’s attracted to Rufus Van Dijk, the mysterious man who owns the bookshop in his ancestors’ building. A building filled with family ghosts, who are mysteriously disappearing. It’s up to Bonnie and her burgeoning Craft powers to rescue the spirits before their souls are lost forever. Buy Links here.

RELICS & REQUIEM
Amanda Breck’s complicated life gets more convoluted when she finds the body of Lena Morgan in Central Park, identical to Amanda’s dream. Detective Phineas Regan is one case away from retirement; the last thing he needs is a murder case tinged by the occult. The seeds of their attraction were planted months ago, when Phineas investigated an attack on Amanda’s friend Morag. Now, fate is determined to draw them close. But can they work together to stop a wily, vicious killer, or will the murderer destroy them both?
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THE JAIN LAZARUS ADVENTURES

Hex Breaker by Devon Ellington. A Jain Lazarus Adventure. Hex Breaker Jain Lazarus joins the crew of a cursed film, teaming with tough, practical Detective Wyatt East on an adventure fighting zombies, ceremonial magicians, the town wife-beater, the messenger of the gods, and their own pasts.
This series will re-release in 2020.
Visit the site for the Jain Lazarus adventures.</a

Full Circle: An Ars Concordia Anthology. Edited by Colin Galbraith. My story is “Pauvre Bob”, set at Arlington Race Track in Illinois is included in this wonderful collection of short stories and poetry. You can download it free here.