I like getting high...No one knows... Please help -
December 28th 2014, 06:55 AM

I'm 15, in high school,a sophomore and I'm that kid that everyone knows as a drug dealer. It started about 2-3 years ago when I just didn't see the point in life, not like suicide or anything just like, why am I doing anything, what's the point. So I started taking pills to get high, various things, whatever I could get my hands on. At first I thought I was fine, I would do it on the weekends then I went to taking stuff before school, everyday, then I there's now, I'm high almost 24/7 if not I'm mixing a drink to get drunk in class. I don't know if I want to quit, when I did try to quit, I was almost clean for 2 weeks, and then someone wanted to make a deal, so that got me back into it. The truth is, I don't know if I want to quit, I like getting high, but I know I will od sometime, whether it's tomorrow or the next day, or some other time, I know it's bound to happen at the rate I'm going right now. I know this post might seem long and pointless to most, but I just need to get this off my chest.

Re: I like getting high...No one knows... Please help -
December 28th 2014, 04:50 PM

Firstly, I'm not going to tell you what to do, it's your choice to take drugs or not. However, while life may seem pointless, throwing it away and being high all the time won't solve anything. Taking drugs simply puts a certain over your problems. I understand the appeal of it, but the reasons that make you dislike life will still be there. If you weren't still unhappy, you wouldn't be making this thread. Instead, you need to figure out why you think life is pointless and make some changes. Be proactive, don't put substances in your body and assume you can do that the rest of your life.
Drugs are expensive for the most part, there are much better things you can spend your money on. When I was in my freshman year of college I was addicted to drugs and I'm very disappointed in myself for how much money I wasted on drugs that I needed to pay for tuition. Eventually you may look back on this too and realize you shouldn't have wasted so much money and instead saved it up for more important things.
Additionally, remember that drugs can harm your brain. I'm not sure what substances you are taking, but most of them act with serotonin or dopamin and it can affect your mood greatly, even after you stop. If you're having a hard time quitting, just look up dangers of whatever you are taking. It might help snap you into reality of what you are doing and help you stop. You also need to stop dealing if you want to quit. If you have drugs on you, or if you keep going to get some for other people, then you're going to want to keep using. That's a big key thing. Make it so that you don't have access to drugs. I promise once you're clean for a few weeks you'll notice how much more clear-headed and intelligent you feel. This is also important because it will allow you to do much better in school. I know you're only 15 and high school seems stupid and pointless, but it's not. It prepares you for education afterward, teaches you how to learn and study, and gives you some general knowledge that can come in handy. If you blow it off because you're doing drugs before school, you're going to be behind everyone in your class, and nobody likes to be behind.
My best advice? Get rid of the drugs and try and make some friends instead. Ones who don't do drugs or drink. They will be positive influences on your life, and can help you see the beauty in life. If you don't want to OD or permanently damage your brain from substances, then you need to quit as soon as possible. The best time was when you first started, the second best time is right now. I also want to encourage you to speak to a counselor at your school. They have to keep these things confidential so you won't get in trouble.

Re: I like getting high...No one knows... Please help -
December 29th 2014, 12:00 PM

Hey there,

I am glad you got your feelings out and expressed yourself, what you wrote isn't "pointless" it matters because you are struggling and want some support; and I don't see that as "pointless" you are important.

Do you still find life has no purpose? I know you said you felt that way 2-3 years ago, but do you still feel that way now? It sounds like you want to stop and that you are worried about harming yourself with the drugs and alcohol. Since, you are recognizing now that you want to stop dealing and you had stopped for 2 weeks, that shows that somewhere in you, you want to stop. It can be challenging when we get into the business of dealing drugs because the pressure is there, others rely on you for things and I am sure you have to get what they are looking for to them so nothing happens.

Are you comfortable going to see a counselor or clinic to ask for advice for addictions? You don't have to tell them you deal, you can say that you had gotten introduced into drugs and now you would like some help. However, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, you can always do alternative things.

Some alternative things can help you to manage the use of drugs and alcohol. I'm not sure if you like sports or being physically active; you can try to exercise each day if you feel the need to take drugs and/or drink alcohol. You can always journal your thoughts and feelings you can draw, you can play an instrument(s), you can volunteer, etc., I know these may seem very "dumb" or "pointless", at least try them once and see if they can help.

It's important to know the dangers of taking drugs and dealing, you can harm your organs; you can also get caught and risk some fines or community service.