I really, really love you. I love your crunchy ice. I love your styrofoam cups that never sweat, even in the Tennessee humidity. I dream about you every time someone hands me a hot coke in Europe…or brings me two ice cubes, treating frozen water like plutonium.

But you’re starting to piss me off.

Every day I pull into your drive-in near my house and say the same thing.

“Large diet coke with lime, that’s all.”

And everyday the little voice in the box replies:

“Do you want tots with that?”

For a moment, let’s ignore the fact that the voice asks me if I want tots after I’ve clearly and firmly said “that’s all.” Let’s focus, instead, on the food item the voice thinks I want at 8:15 a.m.

Tots. Greasy fried bits of faux potato.

Why in the name of OreIda do they think this is my side item of choice at that time of day. Especially when they have these items on the menu:

Sausage, Egg and Cheese Toaster

Bacon, Egg and Cheese Toaster

Ham, Egg and Cheese Toaster

Breakfast Toaster Combo

Breakfast Burrito

(They also have Pancakes on a Stick, but clearly that item is worthy of a blog all its own.)

Why, with all that eggy cheesy goodness on the menu, do they try to force tots down my throat? I haven’t had a tot since elementary school. I’m not going to start now. For the record, I haven’t had fish sticks, jello or Kool-Aid since then either.

So, dear Sonic voice-in-the-box, when I say “that’s all,” I mean “that’s all.” Not “Oh, I forgot, I want some greasy fried bits of faux potatoes.”

I’ll see you at the regular time tomorrow.

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17 responses to “Dear Sonic,”

Pancakes on a stick? How does that even work? I’ve been away from the U.S. for a while. Another argument for nationalized health care is that someone is going to have to look after all these people eating pancakes on a stick when their bowels explode.

Pancakes on a stick, make me sick, make my heart go two forty six… Really. No jello since elementary school. I love jello. Now tots on the other hand…they really are not THAT bad if you are eating them at 1:00 am with a beer. However, at that time of the morning they can lead to nothing but trouble for your day if you know what I mean…

The closest Sonic is 250 miles away from us. Mr. Dingo and I are planning a road trip because I have been craving it for weeks and he’s never been to Sonic. How he’s lived so long without pancakes on a stick, I’ll never know.

I know, the people in the box don’t listen. My friend gets hamburgers. When I go through any drive thru, they always say do you want cheese? I say, if I wanted a cheeseburger, I would have ordered one! Then they ask if again if I want cheese of the freaking hamburger!!! GEEEZZZ

hahaha. Tots. I can’t even tell you how long it’s been since I’ve seen that word refer to a potatoe.

Oh, and I have never gotten used to the lack of ice here. I’d do anything for a giant ice tea with tons of little tiny icy cubes. People here think that really cold drinks make them sick. It’s extremely strange.

AFM–It’s a skewered link sausage with a pancake wrapped around it. What I don’t know is how the pancake stays attached to the sausage.
Lash–No jello ever. Not even jello shots.
Dingo–No Sonic within 250 miles?? Quel horreur.
Sis–And if I wanted tots, I’d ask for tots.
Ellie–Insidious–my thoughts exactly.
UB–Like Niece Lash said, perhaps at 1 a.m. with the appropriate beverage.
MG–Always good to know you’ve got my back.
Blue–I am an ice-a-holic. I even put it in white wine. I’m a class act, for sure.
Beth–There you go sounding all British…”little pot of syrup.” Great.
Julie–I forgot this morning…I’ll do it tomorrow.

To ignore the fine humor, they do it because people really do say “well yeah, I’ll have some tots too.” I hate to be upsold; but, it works. (I don’t suppose you can really categorize the tots question as “up” selling in all of its dimensions.)