Here are a few things I know about myself, and maybe a few more I suspect but could well be living in denial about, and a few of the comments from my ever-helpful friends. I feel like this should be witty- I've read some truly entertaining profiles, but I'm really not very funny in a vacuum. I need a good straight man...

I am the eternal optimist- I believe in the best in everyone. In fact, you have to work pretty hard to convince me in believe anything bad. My friend tells me it's a terrible thing in dating but a wonderful quality in a relationship. He's probably right- he usually is, often much to my chagrin. (now give me back my rose-colored glasses...)

I am very accommodating- few things are worth drawing a line in the sand for. I would rather live and let live, providing we can find a safe middle ground. I don't see life as an absolute; rather, I live in shades of gray. There are a few things that I will never compromise on; personal freedoms, certain progressive ideals, women's health issues, the well-being of my son and family. Once I take a stand on something I genuinely believe in, I'll go down fighting for my beliefs.

I'm a peaceful person, very comfortable with the spaces in life and the pauses that create them. I believe every person I meet is my teacher, and my task is to be open enough to hear what I am supposed to learn. At the same time, my life contains a little bit of crazy- my destination is pretty well defined, but the trajectory is open to frequent adjustment and even wholesale revision.

I would die without touch. I think my skin would dry up and fall off without regular human contact. Another friend once told me I hug not only with my arms, but with my soul. It's the finest way to communicate without words. And I *know* my lips would fall off without regular kissing.

I'm not without baggage, but I know my baggage and carry it as well as I am able. I don't ask anyone else to carry it for me- it's mine. We all have our share of issues at this point- I doubt it's possible to get this far in life without a few. What I ask for is honesty, openness and trust, and a willingness to acknowledge when something isn't about me, it's about you and your past, and I offer the same in return.

Open and honest communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, personal or professional, but that's no excuse to be mean. It should be tempered with kindness. So I believe in being careful what you ask- if I ask you if I look fat in these jeans, well, I want the truth, even if the answer is "yes" (But the answer better not be "Your ass looks like a humongous blob o' jello in those things!". That'd just be mean.) If I don't want to hear it, I won't ask. If I do ask it's a request for information, not a hint that I want a compliment. If I want a compliment, I'll tell you that, too. ;-)

And since we're glancing past that topic, I'm a curvy, voluptuous woman, and perfectly happy to be so. I spent a lot of years with a man who told me I needed to lose weight- got rid of the man and kept the curves. In keeping with my love of touch, cuddles and hugs, I'm very sensual and playful. I'm also choosy, so this isn't an invitation to contact me if you're just looking to get laid, but more of a notice that if you don't think my body type is sexy, don't waste my time.

I think I am one of the luckiest people I know. I feel very fortunate in my life- good job, good friends, a wonderful, brilliant, compassionate teenage son. Good and bad things have happened to me, but that's true for everyone. I choose to focus on the good things. I haven't always been that way; it was a choice I made once upon a time, and I'm glad I made it. I hope you have made the same choice.

I have a secret penchant for geeks and nerds. I think brains are sexy, and people who have a passion for something are often the most interesting people to talk to. Bald is just fine, too, although I am equally fond of hair. But I'd like you to smell good.

Surface stuff- I'm pretty entertaining if I get someone feeding me straight lines, and I 'm happy to play straight man as well. I can laugh at myself and at anyone else; I have been known to say I'm in touch with my inner bitch, and sometimes the sarcasm sneaks out. I enjoy going out and doing things, I'm up for an adventure on short notice- where do you want to go this weekend? I travel well and light, and my passport is well-stamped. I have no food issues- I'll eat almost anything, even if I'm not entirely sure what it is. I love and collect good beer, primarily Belgian ales, and am also very fond of nice red wine. I would consider it a compliment to be called a brazen hussy- that's just code for a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it. I need to find more time for yoga and my bike, and I'd like to get fit enough to run a 5k road race. I'd love to find someone who will be an exercise buddy- my mind is willing but the beer and chocolate make the body weak.

I am passionate, silly, and open

What I’m doing with my life

Breathing, for a start. It's amazing how many people fail to take time for that. Creating, working, laughing as much as I possibly can, absorbing, caring.

I have some letters after my name that allow me to do some really cool stuff, and I'm trying to get some more. You can never have too many letters, I think...

My most important project is raising my incredible 19 year old son- I am fortunate among mothers with him. I used to think this would pass and he would be grown someday; if you have seen it, please let me know when I can expect that to happen.

I’m really good at

listening, laughing, smiling, loving, accepting.

The first things people usually notice about me

My smile and my eyes (though they're usually all squinty from smiling...) My sense of humor usually takes a little longer- it's not obvious and sometimes people miss it completely. I laugh at things that many people don't even notice, and enjoy life's absurdities immensely. I was recently told I have a smile that lights up the room; my photos don't do it justice.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I have to choose favorite books? This list might look very different in two weeks or a month, but there are a few things that will always be on it.

Tea with the Black Dragon, The Name of the Rose (or almost anything by Umberto Eco), The Once and Future King (and everything else by TH White), Poetry by Dorothy Parker and John Asbury, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (and all the rest), everything by Tolkien, The Eight, Nickle and Dimed, The Way to Cook.

My list of favorite movies got me a job in an independent video store back in the day... in no particular order, they are: Picnic at Hanging Rock, Diva, The Professional, The Year of Living Dangerously, Truly Madly Deeply, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Saving Grace, The Shawshank Redemption, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I love most music, though I do avoid rap and heavy metal. Folk songs and ballads are a particular favorite, along with that bad 80's eurotrash (think OMD)

Food tastes are eclectic. There are very few things I don't eat- I find that whether I like something or not has more to do with the quality of the ingredients and the preparation than the specific dish. That said, Vietnamese, Thai, Indian and Belgian are particular favorites.

my son, my students, my impact on the world and personal growth, women's health issues, justice and compassion, and what to fix my starving teenage son for his next meal.

On a typical Friday night I am

I'm open to whatever comes up- I'm much more likely to hang out with a few friends or see a movie than go down to the clubs or out to the bars. I am much better at short notice than long-term planning, and I'm perfectly content with a quiet evening in.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

music touches my soul.

You should message me if

anything I said has caught your interest, or if you have good books to add to my list. I'm not particularly goal-directed here- this isn't a mission or a quest. If I meet some interesting people and we have fun together, then I have come out ahead.