Your wild side is the reason we all love you… and it’s the only reason I still watch Dancing with the Stars!

This is an outrage! (And I don’t use that term lightly.) UsMagazine.com is reporting that the producers of Dancing with the Stars are “insisting” that my #1 lady Pamela Anderson start wearing a bra and pasties during her performances to ensure the show doesn’t have a Janet Jackson-esque wardrobe malfunction on live TV. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I simply will not stand for this crazy talk.

My sweet sweet Pam, ABC shouldn’t be allowed to bill you as the “world’s sexiest woman” in promos if they expect you to cover up for the cameras when it’s showtime! Aren’t they aware that you’ve totally built your brand around the idea that you’re this crazy, sexy lady who never does what people expect her to? Perhaps they have not seen your untitled independent film in which you co-star with ex-husband Tommy Lee.

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m a pretty big fan of your work. I loved you in the mid ’90s when I wasn’t allowed to watch you on Baywatch, and again in 2000 when I wasn’t allowed to watch you on your brilliant action-drama V.I.P. (Your animated series Stripperella was also a gem, and I’m still saddened by its early cancellation.)

And for all of the above reasons, I was so excited to hear you’d be doing Dancing with the Stars this season. I’m sad that the public isn’t responding as warmly to you as they should be, placing you in the second-to-last spot two weeks ago. Some say you’re being “too sexy” and that you’re intimidating viewers… but if winning their votes means compromising who you are, I say “eff THAT!”

Dear readers, do you agree with me? Or is it I who is the one talking crazy? Vote and/or drop me a comment to let me know where you stand on this most crucial of issues.