Luckily for me and unluckily for him (provided he doesn’t like hearing perverts saying perverted things about his daughter – you never know with these Europeans), Jean-Claude Van Damme brought his 20-year-old daughter, Bianca Bree with him to the MTV Movie Awards. Bree is Van Damme’s second child with his third wife, bodybuilder Gladys Portugues. She’s actually his third and fifth (current) wife, serving two non-consecutive terms, Grover Cleveland-style, with Darcy LaPier in between.

Anyway, I don’t know much about Bianca other than that she’s been in a few of Van Damme’s movies, but I’d like to think that, like her father, “she can do za spleets, no problem.”

“Because of my big legs and karate, I can do the splits, no problem.”

That is just a magnificent line. I want to become a lawyer, just so that I can begin all arguments with “because of my big legs and karate…”

I’d like to think that, like her father she’ll take a paycheck for anything. And we can see her in titles like: “Hard Target”, “Double Impact”, “Double Team”, “Nowhere to Run”, “No Retreat, No Surrender”, “Maximum Risk” and of course “Black Eagle”,

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Talk about having a frutiful bounty, JCVD easily has the worst time being a dad though what with him having to constantly upset and break his daughter’s heart due to all the men that she keeps brining home being round house kicked to the face the moment they look at her wrong. Warning to all men interested…….