08 diciembre 2013

More than 50 Mad Hot Lady Skills

A lady...
1. Balances her checkbook (and financial habits. (hahaha. i felt so superior yesterday. there was a reason this was first. today...)
2. Feeds people.
3. Tells when a conversation is veering into offensive territory and changes the subject.
4. Related: knows the question/ comment she wants to make is not helpful, and doesn´t make it.
5. Knows how to talk to children.
6. Treats children as thinking, moral human beings... while still letting them be children.
7. Talks to a man without simpering, unkindness, arrogance, or kowtowing.
8. Knows how to dress for an occasion without standing out or feeling awkward.
9. Can fix the 5 details that will make a house look nice/ room look welcoming/ dinner look forthcoming...
10. Gives a hug/ personal contact without making someone feel uncomfortable.
11. Keeps a book of stamps in her wallet at all times. [i felt like such a BOSS when the first time i bought a book of stamps.]
12. Extra supplies in general... and not minding when others borrow them. (Germ-x, snacks, toilet paper, and gum generate instant woman points.)
13. Listens to people. And remembers what they said.
14. Keeps conversations going, even with difficult conversationalists.
15. Interacts with people from different social strati with minimal awkwardness or condescension.
16. The hermeneutic of charity: thinks about peoples' actions and ascribes them the best possible motives/ rationales.
17. "Attributes nothing to malice that can be explained by ignorance."
18. While fully aware of 10 possible consequences of an action, ignores the panic and does something that is only "probably" safe. (Or, conversely, becoming fully aware of 10 possible consequences of an action, ignores the impulses, and chooses to do the most probably safe/responsible thing.)
19. Is able to cook the essentials and google the extras.
20. Makes dirty things clean. Especially the detail work.
21. Organizes.
22. Can smell really good. Or like a kitchen. :)
23. Is able to control her emotions.
24. Ignores her own pessimistic/ cynical tendencies and acts like an optimist; smiles and even can be overly cheerful when the occasion necessitates it. [...which is why i love Life is Beautiful so much. and W. Berry's "Be cheerful even after you have considered all the facts." Which are both written by men, but whatever.]
25. Does what she has to do: no matter how messy it is, how tired she is, who SHOULD have originally done it, or what any of her irrelevant feelings have to say about it.
26. Notices when someone is lonely, sad, or troubled.
27. Details. Just notices, does, fixes, decorates DETAILS: curtains, candles, birthdays, haircuts, shirt collars, jacket hoods and zippers... ["Hijo, no te olvides tu chompa..." I believe I recall...]
28. Takes care of business, even when she'd rather a man do it for her: changing tires, buying and keeping liquids up in the auto, talking to mechanics, (see a motif???), getting house stuff fixed, ordering supplies, dealing with neighbors
29. Can disagree without offending anyone. Calmly deals with conflict and can politely issue a complaint.
30. Doesn't complain. "It could be worse..."
31. Prays instead of gossips.
32. Derails gossip from friends. (Good heavens, i wish i could get this one down.)
33. Birthday cards, thank you notes, and keeping-in-touch letters.
34. Sales... finds something worth a lot and pays little for it. Refuses to pay more than something is worth.
35. Is practical. [15 yr old Malala Yousafzi in the hospital after being shot by the Taliban: "Who will pay for all this?”)
36. Asks the right questions.
37. Gives homemade gifts.
38. Can cheer up someone who's crying or depressed: baby, child, friend.
39. Ignores things that need to be ignored.
40. Moves and shakes. Nicely, politely, persistently, effectively effects change. (or is that "affects change"?)
41. Catches grammar mistakes but tries to ignore them in others.
42. Breaks stereotypes, but doesn't always have to fix every stereotype someone makes of her. Sees individuals, not labels.
43. Makes people laugh, makes them comfortable, makes them happy. Makes people feel like she's really glad to see them... or really misses them when they're gone.
44. Sings. Even if she can't sing well, she sings well enough.
45. Reads to children... with the different voices. [It makes it so much more fun for YOU, I promise.]
46. Talks to strangers comfortably.

47. Understands herself without excusing her bad behavior.

48. Does really difficult things because they're the right thing to do, even when emotionally, she'd rather do something else. [Jane Eyre!!!!]
49. Is intellectually curious. Learns everything she can. Thinks well: critically and creatively. Doesn't buy the party line, but doesn't allow herself to become a reactionary, either.
50. Is an iceburg: She knows more than she lets on to. She is more than she shows. She lets people underestimate her without believing them... or protesting too much.
51. Keeps in touch with people. Maintains family relationships.
52. Is wry and not sarcastic.
53. Humors people's lame jokes. Helps others save face.
54. Defuses conflict/ anger. Calms people- and herself- down.
55. Knows how to properly get on to someone. (chide? scold? do Americans not do this? is that why i can't think of a word?)

[i'm tempted to tag a woman's name next to each descriptor as an example... but many of the ones I can think of couldn't be hyperlinked...]