Hi there! Grindle the Wise here! I'm sorry about A New Life, but now it's up for adoption, just let me know when you are doing that, I want to see that happen.

News: I HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE CRACKDOWN!!!!!! I sincerely thank all those that already have been warning me. I just set up an Adult Fanfiction account under the same name. I will copy all possible stories today and tomorrow onto there, however, I will still keep everything here as well. I am also against the crackdown and I send my condolences to those that have been banned. To those still out there, keep on going!!!!

Here are my stats:

Sex: male

Eyes: blue

Face: just imagine what you want, so long as it's not idiotic

Name: not telling anymore

Age:again, not telling

Oh, P.S., if any of you want me to make you a story, just give me an e-mail. And just so you know, in many of my upcoming stories, there will be content that should not be viewed by anyone under 13

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! That was fun!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letterBEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!! In dedication to Sandgirl13, and my other friends here on fanfiction. Thank you all.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! That was fun!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letterBEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!!

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!:KinKitsune01, adngo714, MarlinMan, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Zeratide, GrindletheWise

If you actually wouldn't mind school if it was Naruto-related, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie,NejiTenfanforever, Death Note Lover, NarutoLuver35, FDS-Sasuke-fangirl, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Zeratide, GrindletheWise

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Some personal favorite quotes:

Pain is just weakness leaving the body. -Any military group will say it as well as my Martial arts instructor

Shit happens, find a toilet. -Anonymous

My momma always said, Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. -Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump

'Slap' I don't think I deserved that. 'Slap' I might have deserved that. 'Slap' That one I deserved. -Jack Sparrow

Oh, bugger. -Jack Sparrow

"You're mad!" "Good thing too! If I wasn't, this would probably never work." -Pirates of the Caribbean

BELIEVE IT! -Naruto Uzumaki

I'm an avenger. -Sasuke Uchiha

Die puny human!! -Any good fiction book

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and try to find somebody whose life is giving them vodka, and throw a party. -Ron White

Silence! I kill you! -Achmed

“All I heard was blah blah blah, Fate, blah blah blah Fate, blah blah blah Sasuke and something something more fate. But whatever, what I really want to know is how you make you’re hair blow with no wind.” --Naru-chan

“Everyone? I wouldn’t go so far as that. Perhaps the majority of the civilians do, and numerous older ninja...but remember Iruka-sensei, and the rest of our own generation. They don’t hate you because of the demon...they hate you because you’re annoying.” --Gaara-kun to Naru-chan

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World,Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.You remember reading "Goosebumps"You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . notIf you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time."Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.Captain Planet. He's a Hero.You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genesis became popular.You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.You remember those Where's Waldo books.You remember eating Warheads.You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.You remember Ring Pops.You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.You played and/or collected "Pogs"You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.. . . FurbiesSaved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.And Windows 95 was the best.You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.Michael Jordan was a king.YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.You collected those Beanie Babies.Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movieCarebearsGak was the coolest stuff invented.Lambchop's song never ended.The old dollar bills.Silver dollars, which were cool to have.You remember a time before the WB.You collected all the Troll dollsYou had to read Weekly Reader's in class.If you even know what an original walkman is.You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"You know the Macarena by heart."Talk to the hand" . . . enough saidYou always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!You remember Highlight's magazine.You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.Before the MySpace frenzy . . .Before the Internet & text messaging . . .Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .Before MIKE JONES . . .Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .Before Spongebob . . .Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.When light up sneakers were cool.When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.When we recorded stuff on VCRs.When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.When gameboy was a brick.You did MASH to figure out your futureWhen you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.Way back.Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .or if you smiled at one of these things

Question:

If a vampire were to bite a zombie and drink its blood, would the zombie become a vampire, or would the vampire become a zombie? Or would they both become zombie-vampire hybrids? In fact, what if a zombie was having a really bad day and got bitten by both a vampire AND a werewolf, and then the vampire and the werewolf couldn't agree on who got the last slice of pizza and bit each other. Do we now have three zombie-werewolf-vampires, or is there some sort of hierarchy of supernatural "infections"?

More importantly, how awesome would it be to have an army of undead were-vampires?

No way home? Maybe so. But one Uzumaki Naruto doesn't believe that. This world is strange, filled with interesting people and things, but no matter where you are one thing never changes; with a strong will anything is possible. A few clones never hurt either.

Mizuki never got to shoot his mouth off at Naruto the night he took the Scroll of Seals. Other than skipping a half-manic monologue from him what exactly did this change for everyone's favorite blonde ninja? Who knows? Rated M for language/later events.

Senju Hashirama's dream to unify all of the warring clans of his country under one village remained just that; a dream. Generations later, the ninja world still consists of pure clan affiliation. Enacting peace through understanding has fallen to the side. A catalyst is needed for any kind of change to occur, and it is all found in a little boy... for better or for worse. AU.

A little bit of misdirection was needed to coax Naruto into Jiraiya's infamous three-year training trip... but was this really the kind of 'training' that was supposed to happen? Rated for language and possible situations later on.

The Fourth Shinobi War ended in disaster. They won, but at a price too great to bear. Given a second chance, what exactly can Konoha's three most powerful men do? No slash, no overt romance. Time travel, old enemies, and old friends that all leads to a new future.

In the final battle against Madara and Obito, Naruto manages to reseal the Jyuubi and defeats the Uchiha's. Though not without consequence as he's propelled into another dimension. Join Naruto as he adjust to this strange world and its super powered beings as he matures into a true Shinobi.

With enough time anyone can call themselves a master of life, but no matter how much time goes by one cannot truly understand existence as a whole without first having experienced death. How will one blond handle his brush with it? - "Wait... what?"

Naruto is many things; troublesome, wild, unpredictable, adventurous, untamable, unique. But there's a benefit to being wild and unpredictable; no one has the faintest idea what you're going to do next. NarutoHarem

The old man survived the invasion and acknowledged Naruto's services to Konoha. How would the shinobi world cope with a Naruto who realises his full potential and becomes the splendid shinobi only few believed he could be?

Naruto knew something was up the moment he landed in the strange forest; being sucked into the sky should have been his first clue. How's a shinobi supposed to adapt to such a strange new environment? Easy, one step at a time. Status @ 13th Jul 14: Updated. Here's to a fun WC Finals.

Ever since the first master, Mavis made Fairy Tail, there was a fox. It had the Fairy Tail mark so it was a member. But now is the generation of the third master Makarov and the fox is still there; however, they only saw him as an odd fox with several tails. They know that his name is Naruto, but they never truly knew what he was until the First came around. Hiatus

Sequel to Naruto: Shinobi Institute of Performance Analysis. Botsuraku... Downfall... The Villages have a purpose now, joined together by Akatsuki's war game can they come together and do what's necessary. One year to prepare and then open season begins. The question remains, who's downfall will come first.

Naruto uses a jutsu from the Scroll of Forbidden Seals, and gets a lot more than he bargained for! Catapulted to the Marvel Movie-Verse, can Naruto find his way back, or even survive this strange new world? Rated M for Gratuitous Violence, and eventual sensual content. Eventual Sarcastic!Naruto, Not-Dumb!Naruto.

Pein's final jutsu gave life back to those he slayed in Konoha. However, it also brought back someone who never expected to live again. Rising from the ashes, how will Minato Namikaze readapt to life and the war he is flung into?

Not every idea Orochimaru ever had was bad. When one of his mothballed programs gets refreshed by the Third how will the world change for Team 7 when they are given brutally honest evaluations of their skills, personalities and potentials. With this knowledge laid bare before them and their Sensei what do they do and how to they grow. STRAIGHT/NON-YAOI

Naruto has failed the third attempt at his genin exam. Mizuki offers to pass him if he steals the Forbidden Scroll from the Hokage Tower. Things go wrong and Naruto is captured in the act. Chapter 25 A Mission to Sand Part 3 Resolutions

You've turned into a Pokémon, like the rest of the world. You're given the power of the Annulment, the power to erase any one person from existence, at a cost. Do you take the chance? Aaron, a human-turned-Pikachu, asks himself that question as he journeys with his friends and the Crusaders to stop Team Galactic for good. GUYS NEW CHAPTERS STARTING 2015 I SWEAR

He was just a second too late...just a second...and his sensei paid the price for it. Now he's found himself in a new and unfamiliar world with his demon and the Sharingan that his sensei entrusted to him ...of course he'd end up on Fairy Tail's doorstep.

After the Orochimaru Invasion, the Shinobi Council and Konoha Elders sat down with the Fire Damiyo to discuss a new Hokage. What if the Fire Damiyo read reports on the Invasion? What if he decided the Fifth Hokage should be Naruto? Naruto/Harem

What if something made Naruto the dead-last that everyone sees him as? What if he really wasn't as weak as he seemed? The true Naruto, unleashed upon the shinobi world! AU Story starts at Invasion of Konoha arc and continues onwards.

The fate of Karin following her arrival in Konoha and how her life might just change the entire Ninja world. A romance story between Naruto and Karin, as well as a few other pairings. You have to read to see the others!

After the collapse of the ninja world, Naruto uses the Kyuubi's ability to travel back in time to the day of his birth. Watch how he transforms the course of history with the help of his knowledge and family. NaruHarem

The Prince of Underworld returns in the third book. Watch as Naruto once again helps Percy and friends save the world by defying Cronus and and his main minion Luke. All while convincing a certain hunter that men are not all that bad.

adopted this story from LoveIs4suckas and made it a Hinata and Tayuya version, Tayuya make's a bet with Naruto and lose's it, and to make it interesting Hinata is added in the mix, see what's happened's when Naruto clams his prize NaruHinaTayu

Naruto won! Whoops! Guess I spoke too soon because he's about to die in the middle of the battlefield when Kurama interferes. Now in a world unlike any he's ever seen before, Naruto will strive to be better. Did I forget he's met a girl that is strangely familiar? Avengers! Assemble!

Danzo asks to be Team 7's Jounin. Follows Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke as they grow into their positions. Kakashi is still in the fic. A more military take on the Narutoverse, will try to focus on ninja using tricks instead of brute force. strong!team.

He was suddenly behind Mizuki, his own eyes widen slightly from his location, how the hell did this happen. "The fourth's legendary jutsu" Mizuki stutters, "How is this possible, your the dead-last." Naruto just whispered, "Because I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

New Chapters up, I HAVE CONSENT FROM A PREVIOUS WRITER SO PLEASE STOP WITH THE FLAMES, btw PLEASE REVIEW, IT MOTIVATES ME TO CONTINUE. PS I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS USED IT ALL BELONGS TO KISHIMOTO, im not earning money off this fic.

After being attacked by a mob, Naruot meets the Kyuubi and the two of them form a pact. Now Kyuubi serve's Naruto as his loyal slave but happens when the slave begins to fall in love with the master. Naruto/femKyuubi/? maybe/ crossover ?

On a night where his dream is put in jeopardy, Naruto must show how exceptional of a ninja he is by bringing an entirely new facet to the world of shinobi. Eventual NaruXOC OCxFemHaku. Will be EPIC in length. *Warning: First Story Written*

Inspired by the work of HazardGallantmon It's after the events of the 'Naruto: the Hypno Zapper' story. If you haven't read it read it first. If you don't like DavisXHarem VeemonXHarem stories or Brainwashing, Mind-control or Hypnosis Don't read this.

After a mob attack Naruto is now unable to use chakra correctly. But that won't stop him from becoming Hokage. From a letter from his father he learns of Alchemy. What will he do with this new found power? read and find out! NaruHinaAnko

What happens when Naruto finds a legendary sword hidden away by ancient entities? how will his life change? Read and Find out! Now Naruharem with a small Harem to fit personal interaction between the girls and Naruto!

Having been denied his birthright by the council of Konoha, Naruto forsakes the Leaf Village. He leaves for what he hopes is a better life among the shinobi of Suna, taking his family's scrolls and heirlooms with him.

After a near death experience courtesy of a chidori, Naruto meets Kami and she makes him her own personal shinigami on earth. Given a holy warhammer to help him in his duties, Naruto must bring divine justice while maintaining ninja duties. Shippuden

After defeating the Akatsuki and losing his sensei, Naruto is given the responsibility of being the Toad Sage. On his way from the battlefield he acquires two familiar swords that wish for him to become their master. And is Sakura falling for the blonde?

It's been three years since Sakura left Naruto and his son behind for Sasuke. Broken hearted, he cut himself off from society. Now his friends want him back in the fold, and a certain blonde has even grander plans for everyone's favorite jinchuuriki.

Naruto is bored with nothing to do, until he suddenly gets a bloodline and scroll that nobody knew about. Naruto/HUGE harem, tons of crossovers, plenty of bondage in the future. sorry about the short first chapter.

I know it's a bit short on notice, but I upgraded tenten's punishment. If you want to complain, give me something to work with, please. Anyway, do not read unless you can handle being horny. Contains: Bondage, BDSM, DOM!Naru, SUB!Ten. NaruTen fic. Enjoy!