Terry Gilliam's 1985 cult classic Brazil is a wonderfully dark examination of bureaucracy in a brutally oppressive future. But its backdrop — the lead-up to Christmas — makes it one of the best Christmas movies of all time. Unlike Die Hard. Which is a bullshit choice for a favorite Christmas movie.

Remember when scenes of religious devotion to Christmas consumerism were a sign that your movie took place in a hellish dystopia? You'd remember if you saw Brazil, which is the best Christmas movie ever made. Contrast that with Die Hard, which isn't.

I know what some of you are thinking right now: But Die Hard is the best because it has all that action and confusing accents and it mentions Christmas a couple of times! You would be, of course, wrong. Die Hard is dumb. Die Hard is a dumb waste of time that has no business being called a great movie, let alone a great Christmas movie.

If Die Hard is such a great Christmas movie then how come nobody's ever heard of it? Makes you think.