A Never Ending Store Window. Are you in?

apocalypse

As the fall equinox 🍂embarks upon us, on September 21st to be exact, and the nights start to feel like that I-need-someone-to-hold-me-in-dark feeling, you must be weary of two types of people- seasonal cuddle assholes who spoon only in the winter as if they were in a playoff 🏈 and Shapeshifters🐺… They are often one in the same and more dangerous than what Trader Joe’s gluten free pumpkin🎃 muffins do to your butt.🍑

To begin, there are five types of people on this planet🇺🇸🌎. 🤚🏾.

#1s 👆🏽Smart people who know facts and thus govern#2s ✌🏽Stupid people who pretend to know facts and thus are anti everything#3s ✌🏽🖕🏽Stupid people who keep their mouths shut and follow the leader, and thus are anti whatever their leader is anti.#4s 🖖🏽The most dangerous, the Shape-Shifter. They are not pulled by the moonlight🌕, but rather their iPhone light. Both pseudo-smart and pseudo- stupid, they comprehend just enough and use the information they do know to intimidate for the lack of feeling better about what they don’t know. This is called trix and it’s to feel in control and to gain power without having worked as hard as #1s. #4s are gifted at tricking people into thinking they are #1s, setting off a wave of trending panic, and are the a-holes that are all like, “I’m so crypto! I exist on the blockchain! Decentralize yo life you loser!” They say “fuck the dollar, fuck government,” yet crave the dollar so hard. They’re like a knock-off Van Gogh painting at Micheal’s. The brush strokes look real, but there’s no actual texture; no time went into it.#0s 👌🏽The unicorns🦄, people who have found a way to be totally free – to owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, and answer to no one. KEEP READING👀

There’s this van culture thing happening. Cute 20-somethings are living in vans. 🚐They look like rape vans on the outside, but are baller tiny hipster homes on the inside with solar panels, interior designed kitchens, and plush memory foam pads. When an early-20-something clean-cut-good-kid told me he was moving into a van to save money so he could travel the world the only thought that came to my mind was, I wish I would have done that when I was his age.

Breaking Bullshit: While you traded digital currency for digital products during this oh-so-record breaking cyber weekend with your visa cards, bitcoin quadrupled,🤑 and smart people made money while you bought shit you’re going to throw in the street a year from now. If you invested the amount you spent over the weekend on bitcoin, you’d be thanking us here at TLG.

REAL News! The first AI female Robot inappropriately grabbed a man by the balls because it was programed with slang terms and took it a little too literal! #BoycottAI #theNewHarveryWinestein #Humanists #hideyourHusbands

More Snippet News: In year 2017, humans turned themselves into robots and earth metamorphosed into Jeff Bezos’ echo-system. KEEP READING👀

I’m Mel-a-n-i-e

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

Made when no one was watching, I'm no one, not yet. Rules do not apply to me and often find myself searching for the impossible simply to prove it isn’t. Hyper-critical, every day I’m a different person. I’m a time keeper, never late and always on the dot in fear losing time and wondering "what if." I’ve learned time doesn’t wait for you.

After years of creating identities and building brands for other people, I'm finally creating my own. No more mind body crystal bullshit "influencers." I finally know what I want, and that is to be and do everything. I was told you can’t be everything, but game on. I'm best at writing from experience or I won't write, so this editorial has no rules. Like myself, it’s a rare exotic breed that might die if you try to catch it.

TLG was 92% designed & manifested by Melanie. The other 8% is a sandbox of Disney icons, classical art, & loved music. #legitAF