So earlier this week, I went to a meeting where I made the apparently shocking error of saying his name while making a comment. This hostess then just kinda broke the audible gasp in the room by telling me they never use his name, they only call him 45. But I’ve found that for myself, calling him 45 bothers me even more because that legitimizes his place in history. Can we just settle on finding something that both does not give him the title he shouldn’t have, and also doesn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing his own name?

I had a much easier time calling him the pumpkin-elect. Calling him the pumpkin just isn’t as gratifying, for some reason.