I looked at her while she was leaving and I could not do anything, my muscles did not obey to me any more. I took my head in my hands and leaned against the wall to finally sat. I could not believe what happened. Was she in love with me or not ? She had said I was the thing she loved the most but now she left. What was I suppose to do... ?

I had then an idea... I took my car and drove to her home. I knocked to her door.

-Stella...

No answer.

-I would understand if you didn't want to let me enter so I will say what I have to say from there...

Silence. Actually I did not know if she was there.

-I am sorry about what happened, I should not have reacted like that. I did not want to hurt you... I will never do it again cause I love you and I want your happiness

I put my hand on the door just at the place there was written "S. Bonasera"

I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around my legs, tears streamed down my cheeks. I love him, but I can't love him I just can't. he's my boss, my boss and I can't love my boss.. it would be wrong and not the way it's supposed to be.

suddenly I hear someone knocking on my door. I can't open the door like this... I'm a mess...Someone starts talking from behind the door! as quiet as possible I walk to the door and listen;

-Stella...-I would understand if you didn't want to let me enter so I will say what I have to say from there...-I am sorry about what happened, I should not have reacted like that. I did not want to hurt you... I will never do it again cause I love you and I want your happiness-Please forgive me...

I have to open the door, I have to talk to him. I try to wipe away as much tears as possible.

Stella pull yourself together don't you dare starting to cry again! you can't love him you know the rules. what did your mentor always say? never start a relationship with your boss or employees, they will always end in big big BIG trouble.

"Mac...I..I..Don't know what to say..."

I really didn’t know what to say my heart says: let him in and make sure he won't get sickmy head says: tell him to go home

-Stella... Just answer one question : Do you love me... More than a fiend ?

I didn't pay attention to the fact I was her boss. I was in love with her and that was all. I was ready to fight against Sinclair if it was a need to be happy with Stella. But first I had to know what she felt.

it was so hard to tell him that, deep inside I hope he wouldn't take that for an answer. How can I ever work together with him knowing he loves me and I love him? it would be impossible....it was already hard loving him without knowing that he loves me, every time he's around me my heart was about to explode, so many feeling went through my body every single time

I hit the wall to let go out my angerness instead of hurting her by words. What she told me was worst than if she had not love me. Why was she saying that ? I suddenly understood. I was her boss... And it was me who learnt to her that there could not have relationships between a boss and his employee.

I jump away when Mac hit the wall, it was such a force I'm glad the wall didn't broke down.

"Mac you taught me to don't start a relationship with my boss or employees"Why was I saying this? I want him so badly. After all those nights I dreamed of him and now I just can't make myself step to another level with him.

"And I think it would affect our job if we break up, IF we would be together. Mac.... it's such a big risk"

A tear rolled down my cheek. Mac had stepped in my apartment while talking, I walked around him and closed the door. I lean with my back to the door not knowing what to say. Another tear rolled down my cheek, into my neck.

why is love always so complicated? why can't my just have a normal life?

"M...Mac... I don't know.." I said while looking at the floor, I couldn't look at him I just couldn't

Last edited by Stella Bonasera on Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

After having stepped in her appartment I looked at her. She was lookking to the floor. I saw tears on her cheeks. With some hesitation I cupped her face and with a finger I wiped a tear from her cheek.

-There could be a solution... I could stop to work... You... You are more important...

I know she would certainly disagree for everybody knows that I love my job... But if I have to choose between both, I mean my job and her, I choose her !

-Stella, there is one thing I love more than my work : that's you ! And I would do everything I can to make you happy. And I don't think staying friends whereas we both know that we love each other is a good idea...

I looked at her.

-Even if I am your boss... It would be more difficult to go on working while I know you love me but you do not want a relationship...

I went to the bathroom. I took my time to take a shower. I wanted to let her enough time to think. 15 minutes after I was wearing her bathrobe. I came back to the living-room with my clothes. I put them somewhere they could become dry again. I looked at Stella but said nothing. I decided to wait she begin to speak.

He left to the bathroom and I walk to the couch and sit down, waiting for him to come back. It feels really weird to have Mac in my home, of course he has been here before, but not like this. we both had mixed feeling and what if he didn't liked my answers?

I totally lost the time when he came, went to the shower. I guess he it all happened in half an hour maybe more maybe lessI sigh as I hear the bathroom door, It was time for me to say something...

"Mac...I thought about what you said and I think we should try....But if you don't mind I want to take baby steps. Actually we weren't even dating and well I would appreciate it if we do after all, to see if it works out between us."

I have been looking at Mac while I spoke but now i said what i wanted to say I looked through the window, It's snowing. It wasn't even supposed to snow today, hmmm weird. I thought while I still tried to make my head clear.

I thought my heart was going to explode. She wanted to try. I was not sure to completely understand her "baby steps"... : Was I allowed to kiss her. I was not sure so to do not hut her I prevent myself from following my desisres. I has no doubts about us but she was right. Begin slowly was a good point for a really happy love story. I smiled to her.

-Do you mean... You would enjoy a date in a restaurant tomorrow evening for example ?