The aftermath of my life after 9/11, when half my family died. How I am struggling to come back to the self my mother used to love and be proud of while still letting myself grow.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Pulled a Josh

Somehow all of us had things going on after work/school and we all got home around 8:30. Starving. Because we're not organized enough to order food to be delivered when we got here. I think Josh only does that when I'm traveling for work. Basically, I'm a terrible NYer, because I never get takeout, except for lunch sometimes.

Tonight's dinner needed to be really quick since we were all hungry, but nothing seemed both quick and appealing. Until Alex had an idea. She kicked us all out of the kitchen, and ten minutes later we were eating dinner. She'd spooned homemade tomato sauce onto naan, shredded mozzarella on top of that, and baked them. While they were baking Al made a salad.

Alex was quite proud of herself for saving us. She called it "pulling a Josh" saying it was one step up from making the grilled cheese he often makes when I'm not home. She can call it whatever she wants. That's how good it was.

What difference does it make? My husband had a friend growing up whose dad killed his mom. He lived with relatives after that. But if you asked him what happened to his parents he gave a totally different story--completely different events, winding up with the same result (no parents, living with relatives). What really happened was too painful to share, so he had his public version of the story and the private version. This is Sam's public version, and she can tell it any way she wants. She's not selling anything or defrauding anyone. It's her therapy. Not a witch hunt.

NUTS - If I were Sam I wouldn't dignify the comments with a response - don't read her blog, bunch of judgmental folks - don't "pray" for her or use up your time searching for things and advice to give - she's never asked for a thing leave her alone!

Any of you "ANON" posters ever been in foster care? Ever had to be a child dependent upon CPS in a large city? Do you know how difficult it is to deem a situation "unsuitable" - unless a kid is killed it's practically impossible - the system is broken. Ever had to take care of your siblings when you're a child yourself, lost a parent at a young age, navigated life alone -- many of us have had to deal with some of these things, many of us haven't - not for us to judge another, you don't like it, don't read it.

I read Sam because I've come to love her writing, I like hearing about her family, her siblings, Josh, school, work, life, dealing with difficult people - I identify on some levels with some of her experiences and where she is from - it's therapeutic for me....I read on.

Screw the anon posters Sam - I hope you keep writing...I check back every few days and I was wondering, 'hmmm she hasn't posted hope all is ok" then I saw the number of "comments" so clicked....I see why you haven't posted.

We all grieve our own way and it's nobody's business what you choose To Or NOT to share - they can choose to NOT read you - you're not making money off of them, you're not asking for anything, you don't have ads on your site - haters gonna hate I guess. I for one hope you keep writing - wishing you happiness and success always Sam!-bg's Little Sis

Dear Sam: I have been reading off and on since your Aunt Elaine days. I've grown up with you (as far as I can tell I'm like 5 years older than you are). Your perspective has helped me. I've rejoiced with the good things and tensed with the bad. Thank you for sharing at all.

I just wonder about Chris above if he or she truly knows Sam. The spelling and word usage suggest British language to me. Anywho,all the best and I do hope t see Sam return to the blog here. All the best.

Realized it's been almost a year. Think of you and yours often. This past spring around Pesach thought of the situation with Laurie's health. More recently was thinking of Danielle beginning medical school. Also was curious about your thoughts on some controversial issues. In any case, we are here if you ever want to come back. Hope you all are well.