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Not Feeling “Born in the Wrong Body”

There are some for whom catch phrases such as “born this way” and “trapped in the wrong body” make trans people acceptable because the narratives they represent render us passive victims of our own freakishness – and so they justify our existence outside the gender norm.

The implication is that no one could or should choose to be as horrifyingly wrong as my body makes me. But I do not believe that one requires justification to live and identify as one chooses. When I decided to start hormone therapy, I did not do it because I hated my body.

I did it so the world would see my gender closer to the way I do. I did it because I loved myself, because my body is mine, and because I am the one who decides how to navigate it through this complicated and violent world.

The changes I’m making to my body, the changes I’m likely to make to my body, they’re not because I hate my body. I may feel yearning for things I don’t have, resignation for things I’d rather not have and can’t change (size 13 hobbit feet anyone?)… but not hate. I’m making these changes because I want the world to better see my gender the way I do.

Whether that’s a narrative the medical gatekeepers are willing to listen to….