Ten ways to spot Irish tourists in New York during the summer heat - PHOTOS

When bad fake tan happens to good people...Irish ladies please stop and desist!EpicFail

Summer in New York City is no joke. The temperatures rise to over 90F and with 7.6 million people commuting in and out of this amazingly diverse city everyday it really is something to experience.

However despite the fact that there are over 800 different languages from around the world spoken in the city, we’ve noticed we can spot Irish tourists a mile off.

And here’s how:

The fake tan -

(see above photo)

Ladies when it’s 90F and your makeup is dribbling down your face maybe you should rethink using that whole bottle of Sun Shimmer.

The farmer’s tan -

This is just a classic sign!

Boys, either use sunscreen or take off your top. This look just isn’t cool.

The sunburn -

Have we learnt nothing? Our skin is naturally blue, people! We need sunscreen. Please, we implore you! Looking at you is painful.

Lest we forget, this is what we look like on the beach.

The squinting -

It seems like a mole is popping its head above ground. Buy sunglasses, people! It’s sunny and 90F out.

Those are not “smile lines,” you’ve been squinting for that last five hours.

The clothes - GAA and football gear

Lads! Welcome to New York, the melting pot of the world! Now to show people which part of Ireland I’m from and what sport from that area I love.

Though it’s great you’re proud of where you’re from you do stick out like sore thumbs but kudos for representing.

The Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister shopping bags -

Now this is one that’ll have to stop! As we know A & F have a skewed and terrible view of the world, but really, a hoodie for $90!

Still we see Irish tourists queuing down Fifth Ave to grab some A & F gear.

The hot tea / coffee -

Ice, people! Ice.

We’ve also noticed that Irish people tend to stick to their cuppas, just like they like them back home, even if it is scalding hot outside.

The floral beach shorts -

We’re not sure what happened here. Was there a meeting we missed or a new decree sent down by the Irish Government? It seems like every Irish male who reaches the age of 16 is given a pair of Hawaiian floral shorts.

Frankly, there are too many of them wearing them and it’s just plain weird.

The J-1ers looking lost -

Though we do love the J-1ers who come over every year to earn a few quid and have a brilliant summer in New York, you guys are a sight to behold when you first arrive. Lost is not the word, and are you told to travel in large groups?!!

The back combed hair -

Is there some kind of a support group we could start for this? It’s not a good look ladies. Also, paired with melty makeup and streaky tan...oh my. Please stop.

As the Irish poet Pat Ingoldsby once asked me, “Why is it that Irish women want their hair to look like the inside of a mattress?” Explanations welcome.