have a heart to heart with yourself this valentine’s day

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! For those of you in relationships, I hope y’all enjoy spending some special time with your significant other and remember my tips for surviving this particular holiday. For those taking the Singles Awareness Day route, let it be known that my favorite Valentine’s Days have always been the ones spent with platonic friends. Back in college, my dear friend Ro and I would be each other’s dates, buying cards and always going out for dinner and drinks together. In fact, the majority of my 32 Valentines have been spent single and the ones spent with friends have been far more memorable than the ones spent with boyfriends.

This day can sometimes make people….anxious. Even in well-established couples, there’s the question of expectation. Or maybe you are the only single person in your social circle. Can’t also forgot those dating situations where things are still new and you’re both trying to figure what exactly is going on (of course, if that’s the case, may I suggest these simply delightful Awkward Valentine’s Day Card For Your Confusing Modern Relationship).

Regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship that can be defined as “Facebook official,” always always always remember that the most important relationship you can possibly have is the one you have with yourself. The most important person to love is you.

It can be difficult, I know, to learn to love who you are, especially when you feel like you are being pulled in a million different directions at once. Family, work, kids, etc. All of these things can often become distractions and we put all of our focus on pleasing other people, making sure other people are feeling loved, feeling needed, that we forget to turn that love back on ourselves. Women in particular are very bad about prioritizing their own needs above those of the people around them. And I say that as someone without kids or a spouse, so I can’t even imagine adding those into the mix.

Despite what the card and candy companies want us to believe, this holiday doesn’t have to be just about romantic love. Remember when you were a kid and passed out Valentine’s Day cards to all of your classmates? It’s not as if you were telling all the boys and girls in your class that you wanted to marry them at five years old. So this year, along with celebrating the love you have for your family and friends, I encourage you to take some time to practice self-love as well.

(Get your mind out of the gutters, people. That’s not the kind of self-love I’m talking about. (Though, y’know, we all do it so what the hell, knock yourself out.))

Seriously, though. The other relationships come and go, for whatever reason. Love affairs end. Children grow up. Friends grow apart. The only person who is really going to be around forever and ever and ever is you. So make sure that you give that relationship as much effort, patience, respect, and love that you do all the other relationships in your life.