Raise you’re hand if you’ve watched the movie. Okay, maybe that was a bad idea, considering I can’t see if you’re raising your hand or not… and to be honest, you probably look a little creepy raising your hand while reading on a computer/iPad/other digital device.

But yes, I think I can safely assume that a majority of 21CG’s have watched the movie. If not, I recommend it! The title, however, got me thinking about situations in my life when I’ve felt that “she’s just not that into”… well, me! In this case, the ‘she’ would be a friend or a peer. Still not too sure what I’m talking about? Let me give you an example. Have you ever had a friend cancel on you for a lunch… a lot? Or reply to your texts monosyllabically most of the time? Or give you weird mixed messages?

I’m guessing more than a few of you are nodding along at this point.

These are situations where the movie title is more than apt. After some careful thinking (okay, fine, more like ‘after a few candy bars and another episode of Friends’), I’ve been able to come up with 2 possible courses of action for times like these.

Possible Course of Action #1:

Confront her. Here’s how I picture that going – walk up to this friend (more like frenemy, in my opinion), preferably in a large, public area such as a bookstore or restaurant, and very loudly talk about all the problems you’re having with her. Exaggerated hand gestures and the occasional burst of tears are recommended.

She’ll probably feel very embarrassed, and the two of you might even be escorted off the grounds for noise pollution… but that’s what you want, right?

WRONG.

Which brings me to…

Possible Course of Action #2:

This is the point where I’m going to tell you an earth-shattering truth about the ‘girl world’. Ready for this? Confrontation ends badly in 98.7% of cases.

Okay, maybe I made that statistic up. But in my experience, confronting someone and asking them why they’ve been doing ‘xyz’ thing, almost always leads to a defensive response. They won’t be thinking about your point of view, or how you feel, only how your words are negatively affecting them. So I would suggest that you just (and you’ll never find this kind of advice anywhere else, so listen closely)… let it go. The truth is, you could find reasons why she’s behaving weirdly and justify to yourself that she’s still a good friend. But you’re the best judge of your friends, and you know when something is a one-off situation with a friend and when it’s just that she doesn’t care all too much about you. Exercise your best judgment, and let it be.

Take it from me, even though I don’t know you, as a 21CG, you can rest safe in the knowledge that you’re fun and fabulous, and you have enough people who like you, without you having to put in all the effort. And in case this girl changes her mind, and decides she is into you? Well, give her another chance… you can never have too many friends.