HotNCold

Don't think I can stay in this relationship much longer.My bf want to be w/me one minute then doesn't know what he wants the next.I don't think that I should have to stick around w/someone that has one foot out the door but at the same time I am having his child...sometimes I think maybe things will be different when baby gets here but then again I doubt it,why would they anyway,if he didnt want it to begin w/.sometimes I wish I never got pregnant,it would make things easier.im literally depressed& I don't wanna talk to fam or friends cause they'll just confront him& make more problems for me.i honestly wanna die sometimes.i can't do this by myself& this was definitely not in my plans.

Don't think I can stay in this relationship much longer.My bf want to be w/me one minute then doesn't know what he wants the next.I don't think that I should have to stick around w/someone that has one foot out the door but at the same time I am having his child...sometimes I think maybe things will be different when baby gets here but then again I doubt it,why would they anyway,if he didnt want it to begin w/.sometimes I wish I never got pregnant,it would make things easier.im literally depressed& I don't wanna talk to fam or friends cause they'll just confront him& make more problems for me.i honestly wanna die sometimes.i can't do this by myself& this was definitely not in my plans.

Well if you're already questioning it maybe it is time to go. Sometimes people really just need a wake up call. Remember your priority is your baby and you. Everything else comes second all the extra stress he is putting you through your baby can sense. If you feel so depressed you should call your doctor and see if they know any good therapists. I hope you don't take that the wrong way but I don't want you to do anything you might regret. Please know there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel.

Well if you're already questioning it maybe it is time to go. Sometimes people really just need a wake up call. Remember your priority is your baby and you. Everything else comes second all the extra stress he is putting you through your baby can sense. If you feel so depressed you should call your doctor and see if they know any good therapists. I hope you don't take that the wrong way but I don't want you to do anything you might regret. Please know there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel.

You sound sooooo much like me and my situation! We've been separated for almost a month now. He wanted me out of his apartment, so I moved back with my mom. He handled that entire situation really bad actually. Now a month later I gotto say I am feeling better. I don't have to worry about what he may be doing on the side or upset about his cold treatment. I still have hopes that we will work things out, tho, that we'll be a family. He is hot and cold also, when he comes to see me it's all love and affection (sex and all). Then when he leaves he goes days with no contact. He says that this is the only way we can start from scratch, like having this space is going to fix our past issues. At this point I'm numb, I'm doing everything I can to better my mind and soul for the arrival of my child but I need him, I need him more involved. I know my wrongs (attitude and anger), and I'm in therapy, going to church, meditating, I'm doing everything I can to fix us, I feel like he's not trying as hard as I am. He's just absent. It's very hard to be in this situation as well, but I'm better then the torture I had before living with him. I know that the key is to give him the space he wants. Maybe have him lose out on his baby and I, but I can't get myself to do it! This baby makes me feel more connected to him than anyone, I've never loved someone this unconditionally, I also feel so depressed and so unwanted and abandoned. That feeling you have of wanting to die will pass, I think it's normal, it's a sign that you need to separate yourself, you need to put yourself and your baby first now. We have to understand that if its meant to be it will be. God Bless and Good luck

You sound sooooo much like me and my situation! We've been separated for almost a month now. He wanted me out of his apartment, so I moved back with my mom. He handled that entire situation really bad actually. Now a month later I gotto say I am feeling better. I don't have to worry about what he may be doing on the side or upset about his cold treatment. I still have hopes that we will work things out, tho, that we'll be a family. He is hot and cold also, when he comes to see me it's all love and affection (sex and all). Then when he leaves he goes days with no contact. He says that this is the only way we can start from scratch, like having this space is going to fix our past issues. At this point I'm numb, I'm doing everything I can to better my mind and soul for the arrival of my child but I need him, I need him more involved. I know my wrongs (attitude and anger), and I'm in therapy, going to church, meditating, I'm doing everything I can to fix us, I feel like he's not trying as hard as I am. He's just absent. It's very hard to be in this situation as well, but I'm better then the torture I had before living with him. I know that the key is to give him the space he wants. Maybe have him lose out on his baby and I, but I can't get myself to do it! This baby makes me feel more connected to him than anyone, I've never loved someone this unconditionally, I also feel so depressed and so unwanted and abandoned. That feeling you have of wanting to die will pass, I think it's normal, it's a sign that you need to separate yourself, you need to put yourself and your baby first now. We have to understand that if its meant to be it will be. God Bless and Good luck

Sounds like my past situation. Was w/ my bd for 2 yrs before i got pregnant. He cheated but we tried working it out. In the midst of that i got pregnant but we still never made it official if we were together or not. It's always i wanna be with you, we're gonna make it work, i wanna be a family, i'll do whatever it takes & i'll leave all these girls alone & stay at home with me if i dont want him out with friends. Next day he's distant. Telling he love me but not ready to settle down & dont wanna hurt me anymore than he has. & we flip flop between the two over & over. Did this maybe until i was 5 months. Between that time he went to jail twice. First time i accepted collect calls, called around to get him a bail bondsmen, & bailed him out. He talked a good talk about us making it official & him doing better. Soon as he got out another girl was brought in the picture. So i was mad when he went back to jail but i wasnt as involved. We only talked on his free calls & he tried that same talk. But something about that moment on the phone i was fed up with the back & forth. Every now & then he tries that same lovey dovey talk & ill admit i think about & sometimes almost fall for it. But then reality sets in & he's never changing. Give him a few days & he'll have a different story. & we'll be back at no where. What im telling you is to move on. Even though i know you want it for you & baby, its no good if it makes you feel that way. He is flat out playing with you. & not at all serious. Maybe one day it'll be real & he'll come around. But i too am waiting on that. Do for you & baby in the mean time.

Sounds like my past situation. Was w/ my bd for 2 yrs before i got pregnant. He cheated but we tried working it out. In the midst of that i got pregnant but we still never made it official if we were together or not. It's always i wanna be with you, we're gonna make it work, i wanna be a family, i'll do whatever it takes & i'll leave all these girls alone & stay at home with me if i dont want him out with friends. Next day he's distant. Telling he love me but not ready to settle down & dont wanna hurt me anymore than he has. & we flip flop between the two over & over. Did this maybe until i was 5 months. Between that time he went to jail twice. First time i accepted collect calls, called around to get him a bail bondsmen, & bailed him out. He talked a good talk about us making it official & him doing better. Soon as he got out another girl was brought in the picture. So i was mad when he went back to jail but i wasnt as involved. We only talked on his free calls & he tried that same talk. But something about that moment on the phone i was fed up with the back & forth. Every now & then he tries that same lovey dovey talk & ill admit i think about & sometimes almost fall for it. But then reality sets in & he's never changing. Give him a few days & he'll have a different story. & we'll be back at no where. What im telling you is to move on. Even though i know you want it for you & baby, its no good if it makes you feel that way. He is flat out playing with you. & not at all serious. Maybe one day it'll be real & he'll come around. But i too am waiting on that. Do for you & baby in the mean time.

Sounds like my past situation. Was w/ my bd for 2 yrs before i got pregnant. He cheated but we tried working it out. In the midst of that i got pregnant but we still never made it official if we were together or not. It's always i wanna be with you, we're gonna make it work, i wanna be a family, i'll do whatever it takes & i'll leave all these girls alone & stay at home with me if i dont want him out with friends. Next day he's distant. Telling he love me but not ready to settle down & dont wanna hurt me anymore than he has. & we flip flop between the two over & over. Did this maybe until i was 5 months. Between that time he went to jail twice. First time i accepted collect calls, called around to get him a bail bondsmen, & bailed him out. He talked a good talk about us making it official & him doing better. Soon as he got out another girl was brought in the picture. So i was mad when he went back to jail but i wasnt as involved. We only talked on his free calls & he tried that same talk. But something about that moment on the phone i was fed up with the back & forth. Every now & then he tries that same lovey dovey talk & ill admit i think about & sometimes almost fall for it. But then reality sets in & he's never changing. Give him a few days & he'll have a different story. & we'll be back at no where. What im telling you is to move on. Even though i know you want it for you & baby, its no good if it makes you feel that way. He is flat out playing with you. & not at all serious. Maybe one day it'll be real & he'll come around. But i too am waiting on that. Do for you & baby in the mean time.

Sounds like my past situation. Was w/ my bd for 2 yrs before i got pregnant. He cheated but we tried working it out. In the midst of that i got pregnant but we still never made it official if we were together or not. It's always i wanna be with you, we're gonna make it work, i wanna be a family, i'll do whatever it takes & i'll leave all these girls alone & stay at home with me if i dont want him out with friends. Next day he's distant. Telling he love me but not ready to settle down & dont wanna hurt me anymore than he has. & we flip flop between the two over & over. Did this maybe until i was 5 months. Between that time he went to jail twice. First time i accepted collect calls, called around to get him a bail bondsmen, & bailed him out. He talked a good talk about us making it official & him doing better. Soon as he got out another girl was brought in the picture. So i was mad when he went back to jail but i wasnt as involved. We only talked on his free calls & he tried that same talk. But something about that moment on the phone i was fed up with the back & forth. Every now & then he tries that same lovey dovey talk & ill admit i think about & sometimes almost fall for it. But then reality sets in & he's never changing. Give him a few days & he'll have a different story. & we'll be back at no where. What im telling you is to move on. Even though i know you want it for you & baby, its no good if it makes you feel that way. He is flat out playing with you. & not at all serious. Maybe one day it'll be real & he'll come around. But i too am waiting on that. Do for you & baby in the mean time.

Thanks for the advice ladies.@ least I'm not the only one going thru this emotional roller coaster.ive been trying to keep my distance the past few days,and trying to focus on me n my baby.it just hurts to know that when things get real,the person who claimed to love me is just...ugh..anyway thanks again ladies.

Thanks for the advice ladies.@ least I'm not the only one going thru this emotional roller coaster.ive been trying to keep my distance the past few days,and trying to focus on me n my baby.it just hurts to know that when things get real,the person who claimed to love me is just...ugh..anyway thanks again ladies.

I went through something similar my whole pregnancy. My advice is try to take back control of your emotions. Stay as busy as possible. Find lots of support. Do they have any single mom groups on your area? Things will get better. My daughter is 3 months old her dad and I are not together and it hurts but I know it's better for her if I'm happy. And how can an on again off again relationship make anyone happy? You deserve better.

I went through something similar my whole pregnancy. My advice is try to take back control of your emotions. Stay as busy as possible. Find lots of support. Do they have any single mom groups on your area? Things will get better. My daughter is 3 months old her dad and I are not together and it hurts but I know it's better for her if I'm happy. And how can an on again off again relationship make anyone happy? You deserve better.

You should really call and talk to somebody because I felt exactly the same way and sometimes I still do but I have to remember I have my baby inside who needs me and I must stay strong for her and not worry about anything else.

You should really call and talk to somebody because I felt exactly the same way and sometimes I still do but I have to remember I have my baby inside who needs me and I must stay strong for her and not worry about anything else.

@mommie;I think thats just the thing,I'm becoming unhappy :-/...it feels like a very one sided relationship most of the time.& he said to me once,our relationship is just based on sex,then he turned around and said he actually does love me & care for me & want to be w/me the next day...I feel I'm being strung along..

@mommie;I think thats just the thing,I'm becoming unhappy :-/...it feels like a very one sided relationship most of the time.& he said to me once,our relationship is just based on sex,then he turned around and said he actually does love me & care for me & want to be w/me the next day...I feel I'm being strung along..

@myangel292013 im sorry for what your feeling im in that same boat my bf of 9 years left me before we found out i was pregnant when i told him he claimed the baby wasnt his and said dont think me being pregnant meant we were getting back together! Its been 7 months since he left and im still really depressed but it has gotten easier you just have to start loving your self and your baby more than you love him .. Trust me i know how hard it is to stay away up untill last month i still. Was having sex with him because i felt it was the only way to have him close but it just hurt me :( try and stay away get yourself in a good emotional place .. And think if he really loved you he would be there with you unconditionally like you would be for him ..be strong you'll be ok

@myangel292013 im sorry for what your feeling im in that same boat my bf of 9 years left me before we found out i was pregnant when i told him he claimed the baby wasnt his and said dont think me being pregnant meant we were getting back together! Its been 7 months since he left and im still really depressed but it has gotten easier you just have to start loving your self and your baby more than you love him .. Trust me i know how hard it is to stay away up untill last month i still. Was having sex with him because i felt it was the only way to have him close but it just hurt me :( try and stay away get yourself in a good emotional place .. And think if he really loved you he would be there with you unconditionally like you would be for him ..be strong you'll be ok

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