Monday, January 15, 2007

The DIET!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Monday 15th January. I'm past the 14th deadline that I gave myself to start the new year diet. I pledged to lose 2lb a month in my New Year resolutions list.

So here I am. I've started.

One of my brothers who diets every year in time for his summer holiday has very firm rules on dieting: You don't diet at Christmas, you don't diet at Easter, you don't diet on holiday, you don't diet on your birthday, and losing too little each week is boring. It works for him, it's reasonable advice and he is, unlike me, a successful dieter, so as such he must have something right.

My slimming battle has been less simple, because I can safely say, that other than for a few weeks here and there, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, holidays and pregnancies (I always lost weight when I was pregnant and regained when I was breastfeeding contrary to popular medical beliefs), I have been on a diet for the past twelve years. My venture into the weight battlefield began shortly after second daughter, child number three was born.

I had tried dieting before then of course, but, in your teens and early twenties, you put on a few pounds, take it seriously for a few weeks and it's gone. Even after Eldest Daughter and Eldest Son Only Son was born I lost weight relatively easily. In fact a year after his birth I was thinner than I had ever been in my life, and loved myself. Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to find a single photo of that era (Summer 1993) to prove that I was actually thin and still looked young.

After second daughter, third child was born, it all changed. I changed. My body changed, and I have been on the fat and slightly less fat rollercoaster ever since.

Of course, many who look at photos of me will not realise that I am now (and it really makes me cringe to say this) three stone more than I was aged thirty. That is because I fortunately still have a relatively slim face and upper body, and after many years experience I am very very good at a: dressing to deceive, and b: putting children in front of me when I have photos taken, or only allowing head and shoulder shots so as to avoid a Princess - or Lady as she was then - Diana moment, when I eventually hit fame and fortune, and have old photos posted in the media.

However, in truth I am frustrated. Healthy eating plans are my second name, I have tried every miracle cure for slimness ever written (and some not written), I have put myself through exercise regimes, healthy eating plans, tried surviving on what could only be described as an adrenalin and water diet for quite long periods of time, tried avoiding certain food groups, tried Atkins, Hay, Harvey and Marilyn Diamond, The Food Type Diet, The GI Diet, The Cabbage Soup Diet, Weightwatchers, Slimming World, E Diets, and Unislim when I was in Northern Ireland ........... to name but a few. I know all the rules. I know you are not supposed to weigh yourself more than once a week, (but still weigh myself daily - just in case overnight I have dropped three stone. I live in hope.) I know that you are not supposed to refer to any of these things as "diets" and that healthy eating is the thing. Yes of course it is, but the point is to lose weight, and YOU can call it what you like, but we from the fat club know that diet is actually short for: "Eating a sensible diet that keeps control of your eating habits in such a way as to ensure good nutrition, and in turn produce weight loss at a healthy and safe rate." But let's face it, it's a bit of a mouthful to say: "Eating a sensible diet that keeps control of your eating habits in such a way as to ensure good nutrition, and in turn produce weight loss at a healthy and safe rate" every time, so for "diet", please read: "Eating a sensible diet that keeps control of your eating habits in such a way as to ensure good nutrition, and in turn produce weight loss at a healthy and safe rate.".

We wouldn't want any confusion now would we.

In the meantime, I'm going to go for the low carb, GI ish option. I won't call it Atkins because I'll get billions of comments telling me that it is unsafe. Don't worry readers. I will follow an "Eating a sensible diet that keeps control of your eating habits in such a way as to ensure good nutrition, and in turn produce weight loss at a healthy and safe rate" plan, but it will be a low carb version of "Eating a sensible diet that keeps control of your eating habits in such a way as to ensure good nutrition, and in turn produce weight loss at a healthy and safe rate".

The reason for this is because I have decided that my pancreas not only needs a rest, but, as it is clearly shooting out insulin faster than you can say hot dinners, frankly, if I don't do something drastic soon, it might just go pop. Or worse, it could be me that goes pop, once I reach my final balloon size.

So here goes. And, if I haven't lost 24lb by Decmber 24th (because you can't diet at Christmas - oh I know. I KNOW!!. But it's o.k because I'll still follow an "Eating a sensible diet that keeps control of your eating habits in such a way as to ensure good nutrition, and in turn produce weight loss at a healthy and safe rate")plan, version of not dieting at Christmas...........) .............. I'll cry.

And then I'll find a BIGGER child to cover the damage in the Christmas photo.

Might I venture to suggest. Never again weigh yourself in stones pounds and ounces. Use Kilograms, or if you fancy being slightly more obscure use Newtons.It works for me.950Newtons.There.You can’t tell if I am over or under can you?Niether can I and I dont care. :)

I have found some good 'healthy eating' recipes in the daily mail that I was going to use. Also Sally if you wanted a good kick start I would recommend going on a detox retreat (its expensive) but It did work. This is if you really want to understand about howfood affects the body and start eating raw food only. Unfortunately I didn't keep it up, Christmas got in the way a few yrs back now and so all the weight piled back on. However I do keep up my daily juicing etc.

So, you weight three stone more than you did when you were thirty? I weight three and a half stone more than I did when I was 17 and that was three years ago. I piled on the pounds very quickly and as far as I can tell, most of it landed on my face, stomach and hips.

I don't do diets or exercise. They just don't suit me, I like food too much and movement was never my forte. I figure many marriages struggle when one or other partner lets themselves go. If I let myself go now then whoever I eventually end up with won't have cause for disappointment.

enid wishes sally all the best with her diet. she sometimes thinks how much better it would be for all of us if weight were the same as height - set forever once you're grown-up. enid is quite short, but she doesn't give it a moment's thought compared with the angst she gives to the three stone she has put on since she was 17.

Hi Sally,sorry.Got busy during the weekend.Good for you that you started the diet now.Better late than never!! My plan is to eat small portions 3-4 times a day,works well.Never skip a meal.As long as you feel healthy and happy,no need to be THIN really!:))Good luck!

There is "filling out a bit" and there is "piling on the pounds like there is no tomorrow" and I've definately opted for the latter option. I don't mind though. I like food and I don't see the point in being miserable for the lack of it just to stay thin.

I made my way here from the Insignificant Awards... I can't for the life of me remember how many pounds are in a stone, but I'd like to lose 40 pounds over the course of this year. That's.. what a pound every ten days or so? Ugh.

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About Me

Sally's writing is about being a mother of five, now all too grown up, children, (four girls, one boy) a husband, a dog, and a serious ambition to be a mortgage free and famous actress, voice over artist, broadcaster, writer and teacher.

The "Cast" List for the blog includes:

Sally

Hubby - Her husband,

ED - Eldest Daughter,

ESOS - Eldest son only son,

Sensible - Second daughter,

Gymnast - Third daughter,

Tinkerbell Mushroom - Youngest daughter and youngest child,

Mad Dog - AKA Lucy - the border collie.

Guest appearances by MIL (mother in law), parents, two brothers, inlaws, nephews, nieces and great nephew.