Sunday, September 28, 2008

I am sad : ( When ever I am sad, I want to write something to take out my feelings of distress and frustration. Blogging is my way of catharsis. I have written many sad drafts but have not posted thinking that the reader will be bored! But who cares. My blog is my own. Anyways today I met someone who used to be a very good friend 5-6 years back. But we had not been in touch for these years and you do not call a person friend if you are not in touch with him. We both had come to attend an event. I was so happy to see him but did not feel the same from him. I felt he was giving a forced acknowledgement from his side of my presence. I was already sitting and when he came I waved and smiled to him and he simply smiled and went some other way!!! At least he could have come and said hi and then moved away. After the thing we had come for was over, I went and met him. But he seemed uninterested.At least I thought so :/ Imagine meeting someone after eons and still no sign of happiness. I became very sad. Sob! It made me think of any instance where I wronged him ever ? Had I done anything to him during these years? Why then did we drift so apart that we do not even exchange mails. Some will say that if I wanted to be in touch I could have done it myself and I should stop blaming him. But you know I will blame him !! He used to come nextdoor to my place every third day and did not even have the courtesy to come and say hi!! We used to talk regularly after about one year we parted but all of a sudden in the next year absolutely no communication.Probably he found better friends. Maybe he thinks I am too disgusting:( I had stopped caring but you know it is really difficult to forget the good times you spent together since childhood. His behaviour today made me feel unwanted *sigh* . Anyways I will try not to think of this and concenterate on my own life. I have many things to take tension on rather on a silly topic.CATis coming in just a few days and I am very scared:( Hope the next post is my usual signature of a movie or a book review. Wanted to write about Abhishek Kapoor's 'Rock on' and Amitav Ghosh's 'Sea of poppies"! Will try to do so :/

Thursday, September 25, 2008

A few months back, Priyanka Gandhi met Nalini in a jail in Tamil Nadu. Nalini was one of the conspirators who had planned to assassinate Rajiv Gandhi, Priyanka's father. Nalini was a part of the LTTE team to bomb Rajiv as the LTTE was angry by his decision to send IPKF (Indian Peace Keeping Force) to Sri Lanka. Rajiv was killed along with the suicide bomber at an election rally in Sriperumbdur in Tamil Nadu. Nalini was given death sentence but Sonia Gandhi filed a clemency petition and reduced the term to a life sentence. Priyanka told that the reason of her meeting was that she had come to terms with the death of her father. She had accepted the loss and the grief of her father's death. She had forgiven Nalini for taking away from her the person closest to her heart. She had accepted it as fate. When I heard this, I had tears in my eyes. Can someone forgive the person who had been the reason for their sorrow and pain? Can someone overcome the feeling of anger towards someone who destroyed their life? We all fight amongst ourselves on the most ridiculous of topics and never forgive someone who has betrayed us and keep a grudge against that person forever. Priyanka's gesture made me feel overwhelmed with emotion.I feel moved by someone's loss. Imagine this as an instance in your personal life and then feel how much courage and mental strength is required to forgive the person who caused the course of your life to change. It is very difficult to come to terms withthe scars one leaves and in instances like this, when the tragedy was totally avoidable it makes one even more angry but to accept this as destiny requires great mettle. I respect and admire Priyanka Gandhi for what she has done. The loss of Inheritance.God Bless Her!