Akogun Akomolafe

Coming out in September 2019 Book: 18 African Fables & Moonlight Stories Author: Femi Akomolafe Publisher: Larajah Limited Introduction: In times past, it was through the telling of stories, that Africans learned the customs and traditions of their societies. Older members of households would gather younger ones, and stories would be told. […]

“And there was this chief from a village around Dunkwa-on-Offin. It was in December and the chief was dressed only in his traditional garb – a long Kente wrapper. He came with a full complement of Okyeames, drummers, bush-doctors, praise-singers, court-jesters, and concubines. He was carried on the shoulders of four hefty, naked men. The chief’s posse informed us that their custom forbids his feet to touch the ground. The four hirelings were to carry him to London. Needless to tell you that he forgot to buy tickets for them. Don’t even talk about Visa. They were all to travel on his ticket. Of course, they wanted to perform the traditional rites of slaughtering a sheep and smearing our plane with its blood. There was a big hullabaloo when we rejected their requests. “How about a room for the chief to service one of the concubines?” One of the hirelings asked, explaining that another of their antiquated customs demanded the chief ejaculated before embarking on any journey. That was, of course, out of the question. We are running an airline, not a brothel.

From my Archives Being unable to afford a television set, I have to wobble to my favorite akpeteshie bar every time there’s an interesting thing to watch. It was an old Tatung television and one needs a binocular to construct a good image of the pictures shown on the about 10″ set. But it […]

“One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised” – Chinua Achebe Hey, Femi Akomolafe, my friend, where have you been all these days, weeks, years… Ehn… Good afternoon to you. Is that all you are going to tell me? Ehn… Wow. I have missed you! What happened???? What […]

From my archives (a polemical satire by Femi Akomolafe) “We don’t know how we and them are going to work this out. But someone would have to pay for the innocent blood that they shed every day.” – Bob Marley. History recorded Marie Antoinette, wife of France King Louis XIV, as admonishing the poor […]

From my archive On November 10, 1995, the Nigerian military junta murdered one of the country’s finest cultural icon, Ken Saro-Wiwa and eight other members of his movement, MOSOP, set up to protest the environmental degradation of Ogoniland – the River Niger delta area where Nigeria derives the bulk of her petroleum wealth. Commonwealth […]

From my Archive The taxi rolled past me before screeching to a painful halt. “Got no break?” I enquired of the driver. He patted his steering wheel and made no reply. “La Road,” I said, watching his stern face masked by a Peter Tosh goggles. Another pat on the steering wheel, he gave me […]

From my Archives Life is a glomerate of tiny worries. Samples: The poor people are worrying about where the next ball of Kenkey will come from. The rich have their own worries too: enough Champagne left for the next party? Children worry about parents and parents worry about the little ones, too. Husband worries […]

From my Archive Rastafarians enjoy a bad press, at least in Ghana. Mention the word ‘Rasta’ and images of a hemp-addicted, dope-peddling pimp, a never-do-well-weirdo dance in the head of the average Ghanaian. Yet, surprisingly, while the natural ‘Natty Dreads’ are scorned, Ghanaian ladies, borrowing from their ancient Egyptian sisterens, continue to plait their […]