Stress can erode your spirit, and you may not even be aware of it. Let me explain.

Several months ago, my wife and I met a wonderful couple for dinner. It was not a joy-filled experience. The woman was distracted, talked incessantly and clearly was struggling with a number of stress-related issues. As couples, we went our separate ways. We met up again six months later. The woman was a completely different person. Gracious, funny and interested in others, she radiated peace and serenity. So what happened?

After much soul searching, our friend decided to transition from her current work assignment. It was not fun or rewarding. And it was clearly affecting her health and relationships. So, what's the message?

Stress can change your personality, not for the better. And stress can decrease your quality of life. But you have choices. You have options. You can make a difference for yourself and the ones you love.

I always try to stay in a good mood but it is hard sometimes. I have had shingles about 45 times. I dont know why i keep geting it. i am healthy otherwise. I have a herneiated disc L5-S1 & no insurance. been dealing with it for several years. I finally dont have outbreaks now, I am on anti viral meds. i get shingles if i forget my meds for 1 day. dont get flu or anything to oftin. I need help figuring it out. all the doctors do is give me syc meds to block the pain. wont give good pain meds at clinics. I smoke pot. it helps SOOOOO much. but the doctors cant figure nothing out. I am thinking I have something else going on & they havnt seen it. I have heard I have a high chance of geting cancer with reacurring shingles. someone please help me figure this out. I know more than most of the doctor I have seen. they tell me I cant get reaccuring shingles till i show them my files.

ALLEN

August 29, 2012 11:16 a.m.

Best reading yet on stress...Explains the connection to mental health problems.

pj

August 29, 2012 2:44 a.m.

While some events happen to us, others we can avoid. Other people complaining comes to mind. Today you can form a meetup of like minded people. Good...the complainers can reform things and help the rest of us live with less stress by their reforms. I embrace funny movies, whatever those are for you as a way to ease stress. And the songs of MAMA MIA or ABBA always do the trick for me.

Margaret

August 24, 2012 12:12 p.m.

I am currently in this same situation at my work with stress. I feel like a different person. Thank you for confirming that I can make a change.

Charlene

August 23, 2012 10:00 p.m.

How can we not be stressed. I am old but still married to the same man for 57 happy years - the only thing not stressing me. What do we have to look forward to with medical care uncertain, retirement funds going to the government with it becoming worse. We have no control over such things. I have become a grabby old woman who laughs alot but being handicapped makes my life more difficult and we worry about our families and the burdens put on them by a corrupt government. We really have much control over our lives anymore.

Ferne

August 23, 2012 6:24 p.m.

I believe this is what has happened to me. After nearly 50 years of a difficult marriage to the same man, I learned that he had a child shortly
before we met. Recently he had received a card from his old lover(the
child's mother) and had visited the two of them , given them $$ and talked with them, mostly the mother, for over 3 years.
2 years ago I discovered the phone calls and am now gradually getting
my life back. The stress of this revelation has changed me profoundly
although some of it for the good. Now I realize that my husband is
probably in the Autism Spectrum so once again my world has shifted.

foxglove

August 23, 2012 6:35 a.m.

I have undergone every single word used here to describe how stress can change not only one's personality but also one's whole life. I have become a recluse, stay at home person, depressed, overweight and clueless about what the future holds or how I can cope, thanks to becoming sole caregiver to my bipolar husband.
I had to give up a very successful and lucrative job mid-way because of this health emergency what with kids being away in another country.
Ten years into the problem and we are all still clueless about the future. I asked my son who visited us recently whether he would invite me to share his home in case we sent his father to a home. But he was confused about his own future too and remarked about how uncertain his own future was. This despite a top-end job in the IT industry, good emoluments and all the perks that go with it.
What is happening to relationships Doctor? Is there nobody we can rely on?

Bhagi

August 20, 2012 6:04 p.m.

This is so true. My husband recently quit his high-stress job and took one with much lower pay but also less stress. Money cannot compensate for destroying your health. His health and mood have improved as he decompresses from years of pressure.

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