As the title would suggest, this is a collection of sci-fi takes on the Great Detective. As with any anthology, the stories varied in quality—there waAs the title would suggest, this is a collection of sci-fi takes on the Great Detective. As with any anthology, the stories varied in quality—there was, for example, an interesting story about a time traveling Moriarty and an intriguing tale about a Holmes who may (or may not) have succumbed to senility. Mostly, though, there wasn't enough Sherlock Holmes in a collection that was nominally all about him! Instead there were stories about an alien race that has modeled itself after Victorian England (including a Holmes stand-in), or a highly-intelligent dog that solves crime, or a pair of children with the power to to evoke fictional creatures like the Hound of the Baskervilles to kill their parents. Okay, fine. But what I wanted was explorations of Holmes' (and Watson's) character, through the wonderful, slightly-distorted lens that sci-fi tropes can provide. I wanted to see Holmes' wonderful mind react to time travel or alien life; I want to see his and Watson's friendship stand the test of time and space, as promised by the title. But unfortunately, this collection remained sadly earthbound.

The Doctor Who novel that was recently adapted as 'Human Nature/Family of Blood.' It's available free online [http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classi...The Doctor Who novel that was recently adapted as 'Human Nature/Family of Blood.' It's available free online [http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classi... convenient. I was unfamiliar with both the Doctor (Seven) and the Companion (Bernice Summerfield) the novel is about, and to be honest I'm really mostly invested in Ten (although now also in Martha. Martha is amazingly awesome. *beams*) so this was really mostly intriguing in terms of what had/had not been changed between book and screen. The only other thing that really struck me was that the Doctor stated unequivocally that he's not capable of "small" love—"big" love for humanity, yes, but not romantic love. That's certainly something to ponder (especially since I don't think it's true).

Anyway, I suspect this is only interesting if you are really into Doctor Who right now. Which I am....more

Shockingly, I hadn’t read this before. And actually, what really surprised me about it was how creepy it was. I read it right before bed and ohhh, thaShockingly, I hadn’t read this before. And actually, what really surprised me about it was how creepy it was. I read it right before bed and ohhh, that was a mistake. Other than that, I’m afraid that I don’t have anything terribly interesting to say, at least not without sounding like a bad high school English essay. Shall I talk about fate? Wordplay? Metatextuality? Um. I don’t want to. I’m tired and my analyzers are broken. This tends to be the kind of time when unfortunately I utterly fail to be deep. But at least I liked this rather a lot more than Waiting For Godot....more

50¢ at a book sale, and with my current love of Sherlockia, I couldn’t resist, even though I was pretty sure I would hate it. I didn’t hate it. It’s t50¢ at a book sale, and with my current love of Sherlockia, I couldn’t resist, even though I was pretty sure I would hate it. I didn’t hate it. It’s too well-intended to hate, too joyfully fannish, and I must admit that some of Meyer’s footnotes on this “found” manuscript made me laugh out loud. (In case you’re curious, it was the one where Watson writes, “I believe it was in Julius Caesar that Shakespeare said…*” and Meyer’s footnote is simply, “*It’s not.”) However, this fannishness was I guess also part of what I objected to: I mean, it’s published fanfic, people! And while, you know, not that there’s anything wrong with that…I guess on some level I do see something wrong with that. I can’t take it seriously. I kept wanting to comment on Meyer’s LJ: “Sherlock Holmes meeting Freud? What an awesomely cracktastic idea! LOL” Furthermore, it didn’t help that the mystery that pads out the book was just that…padding. And not particularly interesting padding, either. Some of Arthur Conon Doyle’s plots may have been a bit…silly, but they’re so atmospheric, so well done! ‘The Speckled Band’ is really creepy! So’s The Hound of the Baskervilles! The train chase in this was just…long.

So, with modern copyright laws, will Harry Potter ever come into the public domain? ‘Cause man, then Harry’s going to be meeting a lot of people nuttier than Freud, that’s for sure....more

Sherlock Holmes pastiche/continuation/fanfic in which Holmes, retired to beekeeping in Sussex, is so impressed by the intelligence of 15-year-old femiSherlock Holmes pastiche/continuation/fanfic in which Holmes, retired to beekeeping in Sussex, is so impressed by the intelligence of 15-year-old feminist Mary 'Sue' Russell that he decides to take her on as his apprentice-detective. Wacky adventures ensue.

Okay. There were some good things about this book. King's prose is enjoyable enough, and her dialogue is suitably witty. The narrative is rather too episodic for my taste, but there are some nice atmospheric touches. And I like the idea of Holmes being surprised, being slowly won over by someone. However. HOWEVER.

There were two things I just couldn't get past. The first is that Russell really is so very much the epitome of Mary Sue-dom; she's smart and pretty and everyone likes her and oh! Is that a tragic past providing an extra source of sympathetic angst? Next it'll be revealed that she has violet eyes and Hogwarts wants her to come join Sparklypoo. But you know? I could have been generous and gotten past all that for the pleasure of seeing Holmes thrown for a loop.

What I couldn't get past, though, was how shittily King/Russell treats Watson. The "bumbling idiot" angle is played up A LOT, but even worse, King makes it seem like Holmes doesn't really care about Watson at all. And I'm talking platonically; everyone can be straight in this story for all I care. But gone is the Holmes who "should be lost without my Boswell"; King actually has Holmes forget to warn Watson that he's in danger from a bomber who's targeting Holmes' friends—though he rushed to Mary's side—and nearly costs the condescendingly-called "Uncle John" his life. Why is this kind of character assassination necessary? It's possible to make new friends and find new lovers without shitting all over the old ones, and to insist otherwise seems so amateurish, the worst kind of rookie fic writer mistake.

I'm actually kind of curious to see where this series goes; King, to her credit, takes it suitably slow, and I want to be convinced by the possibility of Holmes falling for someone. Who can resist incredibly brilliant but emotionally fucked up people in love? Not I. But any further reading of this series is going to be at least somewhat masochistic for me.

*goes to read "The Adventure of the Devil's Foot" (which has a great Watson-saves-Holmes'-life scene) to make herself feel better*...more

Another collection of sci-fi Holmes pastiches; this one is much better than Sherlock Holmes Through Time and Space, despite opening, for some bizarreAnother collection of sci-fi Holmes pastiches; this one is much better than Sherlock Holmes Through Time and Space, despite opening, for some bizarre reason, with what's by far the worst story in the whole book. (Profic writers really could learn a thing or two from fandom. Rule No. 1: Don't character bash. Rule No. 2: DON'T CHARACTER BASH.) I suspect this is because all these stories were written specifically for this anthology, while the other was a collection of previously published stuff. Thus, the focus of these tales is much more the actual Sherlock Holmes (and sometimes—but not nearly enough—Watson), and not characters merely similar to him. So, while none of the stories were what I'd call revelatory—I still haven't found my ideal Sherlock Holmes sci-fi pastiche (maybe I'll have to write it myself)—the collection as a whole was quite enjoyable. Though I wish someone would give Watson a bit more love. *pouts*...more

The Seventh Doctor meets Sherlock Holmes. How can that not be full of win? And it pretty much is—unlike a lot of the Holmes pastiches I've read, LaneThe Seventh Doctor meets Sherlock Holmes. How can that not be full of win? And it pretty much is—unlike a lot of the Holmes pastiches I've read, Lane isn't afraid to actually do things with Holmes canon; many pastiche writers seem VERY AFRAID that they're somehow going to damage Sir Arthur's toys, which 1) is ridiculous, and 2) leads to very boring stories. Lane, meanwhile, is more willing to take Holmes canon in hand—he allows for character development and doesn't simply maintain the status quo. He also, bless him, lets Watson shine; in fact, this novel ends up being much more about Watson than about Holmes, or even the Doctor. It's probably a better Holmes novel than it is a Doctor Who one, honestly. But I love both worlds so I enjoyed it....more

I think the biggest problem with this for me is that I just now got to read it; it may have had more of an impact if I'd actually read it BEFORE watchI think the biggest problem with this for me is that I just now got to read it; it may have had more of an impact if I'd actually read it BEFORE watching Serenity, but alas. Post-movie, it's kind of pointless: it fills in some of the gaps between the series and the film, but not in any way the film fails to. The plot resurrects a character that in my mind should have stayed dead, only to kill him again, and makes very poor use of the Two by Two, Hands of Blue guys. Also, the art annoyed me. Some comic book artists are very good at conveying action, but the way the fights were drawn in this I couldn't actually figure out what was happening. I mean, I'm glad to have finally read this, I guess, but it was really not worth the desperate efforts to get it over the last several years....more

Sort of like Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, steampunk-style. In this revision, Alice Liddell was really Princess Alyss of Wonderland, who was forcSort of like Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, steampunk-style. In this revision, Alice Liddell was really Princess Alyss of Wonderland, who was forced to flee to 19th Century England when her aunt Redd staged a bloody coup. I quite enjoyed the set-up before Alyss goes into exile, and the parts with her adjusting to her very different life in England and how it changes her. The glimpses of Wonderland technology and the background characters are fun—General Doppelganger who splits into Generals Doppel and Ganger when threatened or agitated; Hatter Madigan, Alyss’ deadly bodyguard, who keeps blades in all sorts of places. For the first two-thirds of the book, the pace was quick; the writing, while far from stellar, seemed vibrant and punchy; and the whole thing felt quite creative for a necessarily derivative work.

The last third, however, comprising Alyss’ return to Wonderland and her confrontation with Queen Redd, kind of fell apart. The pace slows, and there are quite a few not-terribly-exciting battles. Worse, Beddor abandons creativity and lifts a long sequence not from Lewis Carroll, but from George Lucas. Y’see, Alyss has to prepare herself to face Redd, so she enters a maze and is confronted with visions. She sees her aunt and is warned by the spirit of her dead mother not to attack with weapons—for they are practitioners of White Imagination, see, and anger leads to Dark Imagination!—but Alyss, enraged, beheads Redd, and then sees in the mirror—gasp!—Redd’s face instead of her own! Yeah, I bet Yoda was pissed.

Entertaining enough for my bus ride, but nothing very special. I’ll probably read the next book in the series if I stumble across it, but I won’t put too much effort into hunting it down....more

I was recently discussing with Punk the sad fact that, the older I get, the less I appreciate Bradbury’s prose. A couple years ago, I reread SomethinI was recently discussing with Punk the sad fact that, the older I get, the less I appreciate Bradbury’s prose. A couple years ago, I reread Something Wicked This Way Comes and was sad to have it not live up to my memory (especially the second half); Now and Forever only reinforced my impression of OMG SO PURPLE. I’m now kind of afraid to reread Fahrenheit 451.

Now and Forever is composed of two novellas. The first, “Somewhere a Band is Playing,” practically oozes small-town nostalgia and fear of SCARY SCARY PROGRESS; I found it disappointingly trite. “Leviathan ’99,” the second story, I enjoyed a bit more: it’s Moby-Dick in space. Moby-Dick in space! Bradbury’s purple prose actually sort of works for a Melville-pastiche; I was amused.

Overall: eh. However, I got it from the library and read it in its entirety in the course of one day’s commute, so…...more

I think the basic premise of this book, in which the Doctor and Martha visit the Museum of the Last Ones, is quite cool; the book in general, however,I think the basic premise of this book, in which the Doctor and Martha visit the Museum of the Last Ones, is quite cool; the book in general, however, is rather blah. Not terrible, but it reminds me why I don’t usually bother with tie-in novels (and why, if I need some extra-show kick, fanfic is infinitely preferable): they completely lack the ability to change the status quo. I think it’s the rare tie-in novel in which you’ll encounter a “gasp” moment—a moment where the established paradigm shifts, or a character grows and changes. Those moments are one of the major reasons I enjoy serialized entertainment as much as I do. (That and the pretty pretty boys.) Without them, you’re not left with much. And unlike in fic, in tie-in novels, you don’t even have the expectation of sexxors to spur you on.

Sorry, this has turned into MY THOUGHTS ON TIE-IN NOVELS. Back to this particular tie-in: weaknesses included not particularly interesting OCs, no real Doctor/Martha relationship development (purely platonically, understand), and some headdesky moments whenever Rayner shifts into Martha first-person POV, as opposed to the alternating generic third. I just don’t believe it sounds like that in Martha’s brain—very scattered and fluttery? No. Martha’s a doctor, I want to see her think like a doctor. Also, I really doubt she’d see a black man driving a fire truck and think, “There’s a black man driving a fire truck.” I could be totally off-base, of course, but I think Rayner needs a Characters of Color POV lesson from Neil Gaiman (or even better, any writer of color; but see Anansi Boys if you don’t know what I mean).

I liked all the stuff about the extinct animals, mostly because I like weird facts about things like extinct animals. For that, I’d probably be better off reading Gerald Durrell, though.

HOWEVER, these thoughts are based on my impressions from when I actually read this book, several months ago. Since then, I’ve sat through the Doctor Who S4 premiere. In comparison, this novel seems AWESOME. Way to lower my standards, Rusty....more

Queer retellings of common, and not-so-common, fairytales. These didn’t really work for me. They make use of a lot of gay clichés—hairdressers, leatheQueer retellings of common, and not-so-common, fairytales. These didn’t really work for me. They make use of a lot of gay clichés—hairdressers, leathermen, etc.—and most seemed to be trying too hard: “SEE WHAT I’M DOING HERE? NUDGE NUDGE.” The whole collection seems dated, which, admittedly, it is: it was published in 1995. Or maybe I’m just really not the target audience; it does say “retold for gay men,” not, um. Female slashers. But all that aside…I guess the most major problem for me was that, for fairytales, these stories were just not very magical. Where was the wonder, the otherworldliness? I like the idea of combining aspects of modern life with traditional stories, but not if you kill the magic....more

Fun, if nothing special. It was an enjoyable enough way to spend an hour. Thinking about Spike and everything that happened to him still makes me allFun, if nothing special. It was an enjoyable enough way to spend an hour. Thinking about Spike and everything that happened to him still makes me all wibbly. The end....more

A little treat for myself, ordered from England. And totally worth the six quid I spent. Taking the form of a policing manual written by the Gene GeniA little treat for myself, ordered from England. And totally worth the six quid I spent. Taking the form of a policing manual written by the Gene Genie himself (with notes and doodles by DC Skelton), this is one of the best tie-in type books I've ever encountered. The real author (some guy named Guy) has got Gene's voice down pretty well—it's very surface Gene, but if he really were writing a book like this (perish the thought), it would be. And it's legitimately very funny—I'll admit, I LOL'd. (There are also a bunch of photos of Philip Glenister being a hotass—I AM PRO!) If you're a fan of the show (Life on Mars, for those of you who weren't paying attention/can't read my mind), you'll almost certainly like this.

And if you're not a fan...well, why AREN'T you? *wants everyone to share her latest obsession, dammit*...more

Well, there’s another item I can cross off the Great Geek Checklist: Read a Star Trek Tie-In Novel. Check—and my chances of getting laid are once agaiWell, there’s another item I can cross off the Great Geek Checklist: Read a Star Trek Tie-In Novel. Check—and my chances of getting laid are once again reduced! ;-)

This wasn’t at all bad. It was pretty well-written; there was a nice subplot with Sulu (though McIntyre gives him a truly dreadful-sounding new hairstyle that I kept hoping would somehow figure into the plot—but it DIDN’T); and there was a SUPREMELY gay Kirk/Spock moment toward the end that made me giggle with glee. However, the time travel plot was a bit convoluted in my opinion, and it resolved itself rather too quickly—I’ve seen the same sort of story done better. Still, if more tie-in novels were this good, I might actually read them.

Or maybe not. In truth, I don’t think I really want to read derivative works unless there are sexy bits in ’em. I AM SHALLOW OKAY....more

A “Tor Double Novel,” which is really two unrelated novellas packaged together for convenience. Enemy Mine, which was made into a movie starring DenniA “Tor Double Novel,” which is really two unrelated novellas packaged together for convenience. Enemy Mine, which was made into a movie starring Dennis Quaid which I’ve seen five minutes of and in filmic form looks ridiculous, was actually pretty good: the humans and the Dracs are at war, but when a human and a Drac fighter pilot each crash-land on a deserted planet after a space battle, they must become reluctant allies, then friends (read: kind of gay for each other). I found the ending deeply and unnecessarily depressing, though.

In Another Orphan, a stockbroker finds himself thrust into the world of Moby-Dick. I enjoyed this less. It was rather reminiscent of Michael Moorcock’s Behold the Man, especially in its use of flashbacks; however, it doesn’t really build to anything much—the revelation at the end was, to me, decidedly unrevelatory. Also, I was very disappointed by the lack of Queequeg. Dude, if you are trying to position yourself as the story’s Ishmael, STEP ONE should be to make out make friends with Queequeg. Because, among other things, Queequeg is just awesome. MOAR QUEEQUEG PLZ.

The two stories don’t really complement each other in any way. Combined, they’re diverting, but I felt like I really wasn’t getting much bang for my buck with this whole “Double Novel” thing. I mean, two semi-lengthy short stories do not equal a single novel, let alone a double. A better bet would be to track down a collection that contains Enemy Mine and more than one other tale....more

Whee! Possibly the best BtVS/AtS comic I have read: Lynch nails the characterization in this and also dishes up an engaging plot filled with interestiWhee! Possibly the best BtVS/AtS comic I have read: Lynch nails the characterization in this and also dishes up an engaging plot filled with interesting OCs, a lovely Lorne appearance, and a bunch of hilarious in-jokes. If there were a Spike spinoff (if only) this would make a fantastic episode—it’s certainly much better than what I’ve read of the Angel: Season 6 comic. (Sorry, Joss.) I hope I can get my hands on Lynch’s other effort, which I believe involves Spike doing Vegas. *g*...more

In a way, I really do only have myself to blame here. There’s no logical reason that I would start reading a book like this actuallyWhy, self, why? :(

In a way, I really do only have myself to blame here. There’s no logical reason that I would start reading a book like this actually expecting to like it. But I got so much giddy stupid pleasure out of the BBC’s Lost in Austen, I got greedy and went looking for more. Which means I badly need my own version of the personal opera singer from Scrubs: “MISTAKE!”

The writing here isn’t appallingly awful, but the characterization more than makes up for it. Or whatever the opposite of making up for it is. Not only does Cready butcher Austen’s characters—seriously, did she even read Pride and Prejudice? She seems to think Elizabeth Bennet has only two sisters as opposed to four (poor Mary and Kitty, forgotten again!)—she can’t even do justice to her own. Her bad guys are ridiculously, implausibly vile—idiotic caricatures. She can’t seem to decide if her hero is a proper, prudish, scholarly type or an ass-spanking sex fiend. (Not that I would be opposed to a character who’s both, but this dude rotates on a dime with no explanation. Where’s the fun in that?) And her heroine is named Flip. Flip. Need I say more?

Well, I could—unsurprisingly, I could go on ranting forever. But I’ve probably already wasted enough time on this foolishness....more

Kind of adorably awesome RPF in which the Queen discovers reading, and thus discovers herself. This is a delightful little cupcake of a book. I guessKind of adorably awesome RPF in which the Queen discovers reading, and thus discovers herself. This is a delightful little cupcake of a book. I guess I can see how some people could find it twee, but I think Bennett make the humor just sharp enough to keep things sweet but not saccharine. And I can’t help be enchanted by the idea that books and reading really might be this transformative....more

Okay, I’m no Sherlockian scholar of any merit, but as someone who has, you know, read most of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Holmes stories at least once, I caOkay, I’m no Sherlockian scholar of any merit, but as someone who has, you know, read most of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Holmes stories at least once, I can say with certainty that if you’ve done the same, this book will make you want to tear your hair out over the inaccuracies and errors. King:

1) Has Moriarty turn evil after he kills Jack the Ripper in 1888 and gets possessed by the demon that was possessing the Ripster. Setting that little plot point aside, this still makes no sense in regards to Holmes canon. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t The Valley of Fear open at the very beginning of 1888? Moriarty is already Holmes’ nemesis then, so how could he still be a perfectly innocent mathematician at this point?

2) Describes a woman as someone who “voted straight-ticket Tory.” Women did not gain suffrage in Britain until 1918, and not universal suffrage until 1928. Basic history! So basic I caught it! Sheesh.

3) Gives Watson, on first reference, the first name “James.” I’m sure this is supposed to be a reference to the fact that Doyle himself at one time screwed this up, and King later switches to the correct appellation of John, but as the name to use, right out of the gate, from Holmes’ own lips—after he’s been reading one of Watson’s accounts in the Strand, no less!—this is just confusing. And stupid.

I’m sure there’s more, but those are the three that really stuck out for me. They made it hard for me to focus on and enjoy the parts of the novel that were, albeit briefly, enjoyable, namely: Sherlock Holmes with amnesia! Sadly, that plotline, which I would love to read many, many better versions of, is lost under a hackneyed, “Boy’s Own” adventure-type plot, in which amnesiac!Holmes falls in with a pair of young love birds, Mary Sue and Marty Stu. King doesn’t even attempt to emulate Doyle’s style, which, while admittedly exposition-heavy, was magnificently atmospheric; King can’t even inject a bit of life into set-pieces like a horrific Victorian mental hospital, a night chase across the Swiss alps, or a climactic battle at the Louvre. From the dialogue, half the time the characters might as well have been traipsing through the Glendale Galleria. And then Holmes himself is completely removed from the climax! Did I pick up a Sherlock Holmes pastiche because I want to read about Marty Stu defeating a demonic skeleton? No—I want to read about freakin’ Sherlock Holmes! WITH AMNESIA.

That this is bad stings even worse because it could have been so frickin’ cool. Dammit....more

Well, it took more than a year, but King sucked me back in. I think I needed something to take the taste of John R. King's (no relation?) The ShadowWell, it took more than a year, but King sucked me back in. I think I needed something to take the taste of John R. King's (no relation?) The Shadow of Reichenbach Falls out of my mouth; in comparison to that novel, this one is masterful. I enjoyed this much more than the previous book in the series, too, mostly because Watson is only in one scene, which leaves King very little opportunity to write him badly. Woo! The pacing is tighter, too, as this novel takes places over just a couple of months, rather than years. And I have to admit, I do enjoy the chemistry between Russell and Holmes. To give King her due, she understands exactly what's sexy about him: the wonderful combination of fierce intelligence and physical grace and deep, deep repression. Yum!

I have to say, these are so far by far the best-written Holmes pastiches I've read. I only wish there were some well-written ones that gave Watson the respect he deserves (and maybe even a good storyline!)....more

Allow me to use an analogy here. Imagine that in 20 years or so people start publishing collections of Buffy the Vampire Slayer pastiches. (In this veAllow me to use an analogy here. Imagine that in 20 years or so people start publishing collections of Buffy the Vampire Slayer pastiches. (In this version of the future Joss Whedon is either incredibly generous or has very bad lawyers.) In each story, Buffy does some research with the Scoobies (all of whom are currently getting along great!), patrols a cemetery, and stakes a vampire...and that’s it. No character development, not even any character insight! In every. Single. Story.

That’s this collection, pretty much. If some of the tales had been particularly humorous or blessed with Arthur Conan Doyle’s gift with atmosphere, that might have redeemed things somewhat. Instead, we get not one, but TWO stories that offer a rational, Sherlockian explanation for the events of A Christmas Carol. I know it’s a holiday collection, but did it really have to be produced via cookie cutter?

I also have to say, this is one of the worst-edited books I’ve read in a long time—purely from a copyediting standpoint, I mean. Words are used incorrectly, there are bizarre misspellings, and the book is littered with sloppiness: strangers being referred to by name, then introduced three paragraphs later—that kind of stuff. And there are THREE editors credited. Yikes.

**spoiler alert** A mystery made up almost entirely of red herrings. Holmes and Russell continue to be charming, but I was frustrated by how much of t**spoiler alert** A mystery made up almost entirely of red herrings. Holmes and Russell continue to be charming, but I was frustrated by how much of the narrative turned out to be irrelevant. Even the letter of the title—supposedly a piece of correspondence between Mary Magdalene and her sister, which is, you know, generally the type of thing da Vinci writes codes about and plots are based around—is, as far as this story and even its characters are concerned, essentially meaningless. If Holmes can solve the entire mystery by spending a couple days putting up some wallpaper, then why do we have to spend ages hanging out with Russell while she pretends to be some rich dick’s secretary? None of the mucking about was even particularly illuminating in regards to her character or her relationship with Holmes.

I was, however, amused by Lord Peter Wimsey’s little cameo, especially since not long before he arrived, I’d been thinking that we’d entered the time period when he’d be back from the war and running about solving crimes, too. Handwaving the fact that in Sayers’ books, Sherlock Holmes is frequently referred to as fictional, making a crossover technically impossible for sticklers like myself, I will allow myself to titter and enjoy the occasional pleasures inherent in wacky published fanfic such as this....more