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Surprise! Demi shows up to roast Willis

Bruce Willis, 63, was ready to get roasted by friends and comedians, but there was one roaster no one was prepared for -- his ex-wife, Demi Moore.

Entertainment Tonight reported that Moore made a surprise appearance during the taping of his Comedy Central Roast, looking glamorous in a shimmery gunmetal gown, with long sleek hair.

The ex-couple shared laughs onstage as Moore poked fun at Willis' career and their marriage. But she wasn't just killing it in the looks department. She took Willis to (humorous) task about their relationship.

Moore, 55, began by joking she had been "married to Bruce for the first three 'Die Hard' movies, which makes sense because the last two sucked," according to Variety.

Bruce Willis

Then she covered their publicized divorce: "People wonder why our marriage came to an end and, in all honesty, I think it was because some jealousy started to creep in. I think Bruce never really got over the fact that I rocked the bald look better than he did."

She continued, "After our divorce, he said he considered the end of our marriage his biggest failure, but Bruce, don't be so hard on yourself, you've had much bigger failures. I mean Planet Hollywood, 'Hudson Hawk,' 'Striking Distance,' campaigning for Michael Dukakis, turning down Clooney's role in 'Ocean's Eleven' to focus on playing the harmonica?"

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She made some softer jokes about her ex-husband and father of her daughters, Rumer, Scout and Tallulah, thanking Willis for "some of the best times of my life." She got one last zing in, adding that Willis was "easily one of my top three husbands." Moore has also previously been married to musician Freddy Moore and actor Ashton Kutcher.

The Bruce Willis Roast is scheduled to air July 29 on Comedy Central.

Best jokes of the night

Whether it be jokes about his bald head, his so-so music career or his aging-action-hero persona, Bruce Willis took it like a man when he became the latest target of a Comedy Central roast. His wife picked on him, as did his former leading lady and even an NBA star. Here are the best jokes of the night ... including a couple by the man of the hour himself.

"Bruce Willis is what you get if you drain the white part of Dwayne Johnson." -- Joseph Gordon-Levitt

"On 'Moonlighting,' I played a former model, which I was, and Bruce played an (expletive), which he is." -- Cybill Shepherd

"Hollywood wouldn't be Hollywood if they didn't reward a man for aging into mediocrity." -- Shepherd

"Bruce and I live in the same town of Bedford. He has a beautiful house and the interior design is amazing. He wanted everything inside to look mid-century modern, except his new wife." -- Martha Stewart

"This is a real personal moment for me, to be here roasting my dead cousin's second-favorite action star. You had an amazing action film career until Jason Statham started balding." -- Nikki Glaser

"If you wanted to be humiliated, clearly we both know you could've just released another singing album." -- Kevin Pollak

"You keep making these bomb movies. But guess what? So does Kim Jong Un. But at least Kim is smart enough not to release his." -- Dennis Rodman

And, of course, Willis punched back.

Referring to Gordon-Leavitt: "Joseph played a younger me in 'Looper.' He couldn't pull it off. There is one actor who successfully played me. It was Demi Moore."

"Cybill, it's so great to be back on TV with you, honey, on another show starring me."

Upton and Verlander expecting first baby

(AP FILE PHOTO)

Model Kate Upton and her husband, Houston Astros pitcher Justin Verlander, shown at an NBA game in Houston in April, announced over the weekend that they are expecting their first child. Upton announced the pregnancy on Instagram Saturday in a post with the hashtag "pregnant in Miami," where she tagged Verlander. Upton, 26, is a model who has appeared on the cover of several Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues. Verlander, 35, has won the American League MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year awards, has been named MVP of the American League Championship Series, and has thrown two no-hitters.

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