The tales of a back to college boymom who never really has it all figured out.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Breaking up with sugar.

I have decided it's time for me to break up with sugar for good.

It's not me.... it's you.

Really. I'm awesome. You're not.

I've had a big problem with sugar for the past 6 and 1/2 years. To come up with that number I just took Hayden's age and added about 6 more gestational months to it.

I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant with Hayden. 66 lbs. He weighed 6 1/2 lbs. You do the math.

I have not successfully lost all of the weight since he was born. At my current weight I weigh as much as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with him. That's right, I'm a big ole' girl.

I have started many diets, they would last a while and I would lose interest... mostly in constantly thinking about food. It's exhausting to have to focus on what or how much you are eating... or NOT eating. That's why I think diets are poop.

I would lose some of the weight and feel great about myself but it would eventually creep back on. I'm a big stress eater.. ok let me be honest. I eat when I am happy, sad, nervous, irritable... I mean I'm just an emotional eater. It feels good to eat, it's like a release. Sounds sad, I know.

I have had another child since Hayden and I gained much less weight with him and lost it all in the first two weeks after his birth (yay breastfeeding!!!) and here I still sit with the weight from pregnancy #2.

This is not just a weight thing though. Sugar is reeking havoc on my body. My skin is suffering, my hair.. my moods, my sleep, my teeth. Sugar is not serving me at all. So why am I allowing it to do such damage in my life?

I want to be free! I want to feel better. I want to look better. I need to set an example for my children. Hayden is learning about junk food at school and he tells me sometimes that I am eating junk food and asks why I want to eat stuff that is junk. (trust me, he's sitting beside me eating it too, he just doesn't think of it like that lol) I tell him that sometimes eating junk food can be ok as long as we don't eat too much and he accepts that response and happily continues munching,, while I'm cringing.

I've just got to do better. I've spent my early twenties overweight and addicted to sugar. It could have been so much better!