1957 - Elvis recorded "Jailhouse Rock."
1965 - The Kinks began their first British tour.
1965 - Herman's Hermits and the Zombies began their first U.S. tour.
1983 - The original Manfred Mann reunited for a London concert.
1985 - Phil Collins released "Sussudio."
1987 - Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" became her 11th consecutive top five single.
1987 - The Beatles' "Help!", "Rubber Soul" and "Revolver" were released on compact disc.
1992 - Madonna's bustier was stolen from Fredrick's Of Hollywood. A $1,000 reward was offered for its return.

On this day in general history:

0030 - Jesus of Nazareth was crucified.
1789 - George Washington took office as first elected U.S. president.
1803 - The U.S. purchased the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million.
1889 - George Washington's inauguration became the first U.S. national holiday.
1900 - Hawaii was organized as an official U.S. territory.
1931 - The George Washington Bridge, linking New York City and New Jersey, opened.
1939 - Lou Gehrig played his last game with the New York Yankees.
1945 - Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun committed suicide. They had been married for one day. One week later Germany surrendered unconditionally.
1947 - The name of Boulder Dam, in Nevada, was changed back to Hoover Dam.
1967 - Muhammad Ali was stripped of his world heavyweight boxing championship when he refused to be inducted into the U.S. military service. Ali claimed his religion conflicted with being inducted into the military.
1970 - U.S. troops invaded Cambodia to disrupt North Vietnamese Army base areas. The announcement by U.S. President Nixon led to widespread protests.
1973 - U.S. President Nixon announced resignation of Haldeman, Ehrlichman and other top aides.
1980 - Terrorists seized the Iranian Embassy in London.
1984 - U.S. President Reagan signed cultural and scientific agreements with China. He also signed a tax accord that would make it easier for American companies to operate in China.
2001 - Chandra Levy was last seen in Washington, DC. Her remains were found in Rock Creek Park on May 22, 2002. California Congressman Gary Condit was questioned in the case due to his relationship with Levy.
2002 - Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was overwhelmingly approved for another five years as president.

On this day in television history:

1964 - The FCC ruled that all TV receivers should be equipped to receive both VHF and UHF channels.
1975 - ABC aired the pilot episode of "Starsky and Hutch."
1992 - The final episode of "The Cosby Show" aired on NBC.
1996 - Jackson Communications Inc, was ordered to pay $1.6 million to Smith-Hemion Productions. Smith-Hemion had lost money because of Michael Jackson's failure to perform on the "Jackson Family Honors" TV special.
1997 - The television series "Ellen" made TV history when its lead character "came out" as a lesbian.
2002 - NBC aired the "Tonight" show's celebration of its 10th year with Jay Leno. Appearances were made by Tom Cruise, Cher and Steven Tyler (Aerosmith).

Thursday, April 29, 2004

The Twins of Destruction Testify

Today's the day Chimpanzee-in-Chief Bush and his trainer Dick Cheney appear before the 9/11 Commission.

Get a load of the conditions they demanded before they'd appear:
1. Even though they were not together on 9/11, they've insisted on appearing together.
2. They insisted on meeting with the commission privately.
3. No video taping will be allowed.
4. No audio taping will be allowed.
5. No transcripts will be allowed to be made. Notes can be taken by commission members and the White House staff, but no media representatives or casual observers will be allowed in the room during the hearing.
6. Bush is bringing his lawyer and two staff members to make sure rules are followed.
7. The duo has refused to take an oath to tell the truth.
8. The Commission's interviews with President Clinton and President Gore were recorded.

Why all the secrets?
Why appear together, is it to get the story straight or is it because Bush hasn't a clue what went on, what's going on or what will go on next?
He calls himself a wartime president.
That's like me going on a freeway spree, crashing into as many cars as I can and calling myself an auto collision research expert.

The Bush administration's participation with the 9/11 Commission represents just a tiny fragment of the secrecy, the dishonesty and the dictatorial manner in which they have conducted themselves.
If Bush can't face the commission alone and testify under oath, on the record, then we need to ask ourselves why not.
Tell me why you think he refuses to do so.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

One Day Early Update: Survivor

I read the news today and Bush disgusts me so much, I decided to write the Survivor Blog a day early.

By now, we all know Shii Ann outlasted the others last week in the immunity challenge and saved her skin. We also know that the former Chaperas ganged up on my beloved Alicia and voted her out instead.
Please pause now to recall that touching scene where Rob pledged to Alicia, "a secret alliance." Feh. I spit on Rob's secret alliances.
Now let's pause again to envision Alicia in that red bikini. Ahhh.
Anyway...
The three people on the jury, Lex, Kathy and now Alicia, know Rob to be a miserable liar who cannot be trusted. Hard to win with that many burnt bridges, but who can say with this tribe of clueless nitwits?
This time, we all know Shii Ann's head is on the block so it's a foregone conclusion that she'll be leaving if she doesn't win immunity.
But what if she does?
Who we have left are Big Tom, Rupert, Jenna, Amber, Boston Rob and Shii Ann.
If not Shii Ann, I think it'll be either Jenna or Big Tom.
Why Jenna? Because Amba was ready two weeks ago to sacrifice her instead of Lex, and we know Amba with the stormin' face and smokin' ass rules Rob's roost.
Why Big Tom? Because Rupert only has one vote at tribal council and I haven't seen Tom with any other strong alliances.
Whoever gets the boot will go to the jury with some raging resentment toward Rob, unless it's Amber, whose hormones seem to do all her raging for her.
Like I've said many times before, Rob may be a cocky little know-it-all, but he's playing the game well and he's a strong competitor in the challenges.
Who's your pick? Besides Shii Ann, I mean...

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Monday, April 26, 2004

Monday, Monday

Whew. Fiesta is finally over and the city can get back to rest.
Eclair and I participated in a few of the events, including the drizzly parade where my high school marching band didn't appear. We were in cramped stadium seats, but it was cozy with little old ladies all around us, jabbing us with their big umbrellas.
At another event, the king of the parade pinned a special medal on Eclair's bosom, but he ignored me even though I was sitting right next to her. Hrumph.
All in all in was a decent Fiesta, but I think I may be getting a little long in the tooth to really get into the mayhem, the parking madness and the crowds.
I did manage to show Eclair a neat parking trick. In a hopelessly crowded parking situation, you simply park in a no parking zone, remove the ticket from another car's windshield and put it on your own.
A little civil disobedience never hurt anyone, I say.
The best part of the long weekend was ignoring the national news.
I caught up this morning via e-mail news lists I belong to and it's getting overwhelming to try to keep track of the many ways Bush is fucking up the country and the world.
My best friend Anna is up in Washington DC right now. She was part of the abortion rights march on the White House, one of a million who want Bush and his archaic policies thrown out. Way to go, Anna!
I guess the Bush Nazis couldn't redirect this protest a safe three miles away from the White House. Kind of hard to reroute a million angry people.
Of course, Bush was away on vacation again during the march. God forbid he should have to lower himself off his throne to hear the roar of a million people who want him gone.
Last time America had a protest of this size was just a few months before President Clinton was elected.
Let's hope this march was another prophetic moment in our history.
And let's hope the Republican National Convention gets disrupted by even more angry Americans who are fed up with this insane administration.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

News Around the Net

So, the grand jury decided there was enough evidence to indict Michael Jackson for child molestation. What a surprise. Word to Mikie- we let you slide on the first one, now it might be time to pay the piper, you freakish pervert.

CBS decided to air photos of Princess Diana as she lay dying.
Why is it that CBS was too scared to air the Reagan movie and is too cowed by Bush to show us the flag draped coffins of our military killed in Iraq, but they thought it was okay to show gratuitous shots of a poor woman on the verge of death? It's fucking creepy is what it is.

A recent Associated Press poll suggests Americans are scared shitless of another terrorist attack and fear the terrorists are getting ahead of us.
Ya think? Maybe Bush shouldn't have rushed our soldiers into Iraq, trying to shove American democracy and Christianity down the throats of an ancient Islamic culture he has no hopes of ever understanding. He told us getting rid of Saddam would make our military welcomed by Iraqis as liberators, remember? They'd greet them with flowers and sweets, he said. Uh huh.

Bush is celebrating Earth Day by touting a 1,600 acre wetlands project in Maine.
Maine- gee, isn't that where his beloved Kennebunkport is located? That fucker ought to celebrate Earth Day in Houston, where the air quality rivals that of Mexico City and the drinking water is translucent.
For Bush to even be seen in public on Earth Day is appalling, but if all he has to tout is a little water testing project on a few acres near his family compound, that should tell us all we need to know.

Is it just me, or is Israel turning into an obnoxious little brat of a country that acts out, then expects its big brother (us) to protect it? I like Israel and believe in their right to exist, but I think Ariel Sharron is a jerk who needs to step aside. I miss Golda Meir.

It seems two chunks of highly radioactive fuel rods are missing from a Vermont nuclear plant. Authorities have no clue where the stuff went, but fuel rods are an ingredient used to make dirty bombs that use ordinary explosives mixed with the fuel rods to blow up and spread radiation.
I sure am glad Bush established the Department of Homeland Security to make sure nuclear plants keep track of their rods of death. In 2002, when a Connecticut nuke joint had some rods come up missing, the feds fined them $288,000.
Still haven't found them but, what the hell.

I know the victim of a rape shouldn't have her medical records or private life dragged through the mud, but Kobe Bryant sure seemed to pick a lunatic to rape.
The woman seems to have a touch of bipolar disease or something that causes her to act funny, from reports I've heard on Court TV.
Word to the recently raped: don't wink and tell your girlfriends how well hung your assailant was, it's bad post-rape etiquette.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Survivor!

Now that Kathy got the boot, battle lines seem clearer in their murkiness.
Let's examine the remaining chuckleheads and see if we can sort things out, shall we?

Alicia:
We learned a valuable lesson in sociology from her mama's home video: when a white woman and black man have babies, the results can be flat out gorgeous. Alicia may have determination, grit and a frame full of hard muscles, but deep down she's a mama's girl with a soft side. That smile- wow. Was Rob sincere when he whispered his undying alliance to her? Nah, I think he was just hedging his bets, the scoundrel.
Big Tom:
I'd a liked to a seen him start t' bawlin durin his son's video. Yikes. His accent seems worse this go-around, but he's certainly less of a bullseye this time. By now, surely he's figured out his alliance with Rob was carved into sand, on the shore at low tide. If he has half a brain, he'll work with Rupert to get rid of Rob asap. Big if.
Amber:
She better hope Rob keeps winning immunity challenges, but even that may not save her. If the other tribe members are smart, they'll aim for her next and try to made Rob too sad to keep kicking their asses in the competitions. This romance of hers may have helped her in the past, but I think the veneer has worn off. She's on thin ice.
Rupert:
Egads, when his wife and daughter (baby Rupert in girl form) appeared on the video from home, I started crying as much as he did. If he can muster even a fraction of the moxie he had in the last game, he needs to scramble everyone against Rob and Amber and get them outta there pronto. Can he pull it off? I doubt it. Sigh.
Jenna:
Who knew she had two kids? Anyway, she's pretty damn dispensable. If the tribe continues to be paralyzed by Ron and Amber fever, Jenna will get the next boot. She's not essential to anyone or anything, so that makes her dispensable. And she needs to skip using make-up unless she has a licensed cosmetologist supervising her. Ugh.
Rob:
He's far cagier than anyone would have imagined, but winning immunity from here on is essential if he plans to win it all. I know most everyone wants him to lose, but I happen to think if he keeps winning immunity and playing the game with the same outlandish pluck, the little bastard deserves to win.
Shii Ann:
Ugh, I doubt she'll get the boot this time, but she should. So bland is she, she's likely to get second place because of it. She's no threat to anyone, and that alone is a threat.

Eclair and I will be at the Fiesta Band Festival on Thursday night, watching the marching bands from box seats on the 50-yard-line, about 12 rows up.
Though I will tape Survivor, I have a hunch I'd rather be watching it live than watching a high school marching band playing, "Louie, Louie."
But it's Fiesta in San Antonio, and one must make sacrifices.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Blog Salad™

Looks like the media has taken care of covering Bob Woodward's book, so I won't gild the lily except to say the White House spin saying they "loved the book," has to be the lamest reaction in history. Sure they did.
Woodward was smart- first he wrote a book portraying Dubya as a good guy, then he gained unprecedented access to Bush and his staff for this new book, where he was able to choke Bush on his own quotes.
I wonder if Bush asked the Saudi ambassador if it was okay to talk to Woodward?

Looks like U.S. airports might relax the rule about only letting ticketed passengers past security checkpoints. I hate not being able to meet people at the gate or sit with people before their plane departs, so I hope they do drop that rule.

A straight woman friend of mine got some good advice on picking out potential boyfriends who aren't like the mooches and losers she usually attracts. She was told to ask where they went on their last vacation. If they react like a vacation is something far too ritzy and expensive for them to even consider, she was advised to run the other way. Smart advice.

Three months into it, my new relationship is turning out to be sensational. I never realized how holding out for basic compatibility makes things run so much better. In the past, I was always drawn to intense women, but Eclair is easy going and it makes everything so much simpler. It's just better to laugh more and ponder issues less.
And yes, she likes to go on vacations.

I was watching PBS the other night and caught David Byrne on "Austin City Limits."
He is so cool, I think my temperature dropped just watching him. He introduced one song by saying, "My mother used to sing this to me when I was little."
Then he broke into the Whitney Houston song, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."
He made it sound like a major classic.
His voice is better live and he looked healthier than he did in the 80's. I love that man!
If I ever win the lottery I'm going to hire him and Annie Lennox to play at my first big party.

Bonus Questions:

1. If you had unlimited funds for a party, which two acts would you hire to entertain?
2. If you got a pinata for an adult party, what would you put in it?
3. Where is your ideal vacation location?
4. Where do you go for weekend getaways, and what do you like to do?
5. What trait do you love most in your significant other?

Friday, April 16, 2004

Here We Go Again:

Book Says War Plan on Iraq Drawn Up Soon After U.S. Forces Entered Afghanistan

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press.
By CALVIN WOODWARD and SIOBHAN McDONO
WASHINGTON (April 16) -- President Bush secretly ordered a war plan drawn up against Iraq less than two months after U.S. forces attacked Afghanistan and was so worried the decision would cause a furor he did not tell everyone on his national security team, says a new book on his Iraq policy.
Bush feared that if news got out about the Iraq plan as U.S. forces were fighting another conflict, people would think he was too eager for war, journalist Bob Woodward writes in ''Plan of Attack,'' a behind-the-scenes account of the 16 months leading to the Iraq invasion.
The Associated Press obtained a copy of the book, which will be available in book stores next week.
''I knew what would happen if people thought we were developing a potential war plan for Iraq,'' Bush is quoted as telling Woodward. ''It was such a high-stakes moment and ... it would look like that I was anxious to go to war. And I'm not anxious to go to war.''

Bush and his aides have denied accusations they were preoccupied with Iraq at the cost of paying attention to the al-Qaida terrorist threat before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. A commission investigating the attacks just concluded several weeks of extraordinary public testimony from high-ranking government officials. One of them, former counterterrorism chief Richard Clarke, charged the Bush administration's determination to invade Iraq undermined the war on terror.
Woodward's account fleshes out the degree to which some members of the administration, particularly Vice President Dick Cheney, were focused on Saddam Hussein from the onset of Bush's presidency and even after the terrorist attacks made the destruction of al-Qaida the top priority.
Woodward says Bush pulled Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld aside Nov. 21, 2001 - when U.S. forces and allies were in control of about half of Afghanistan - and asked him what kind of war plan he had on Iraq. When Rumsfeld said it was outdated, Bush told him to get started on a fresh one.
The book says Bush told Rumsfeld to keep quiet about it and when the defense secretary asked to bring CIA Director George Tenet into the planning at some point, the president said not to do so yet.
Even Bush's national security adviser, Condoleezza Rice, was apparently not fully briefed. Woodward said Bush told her that morning he was having Rumsfeld work on Iraq but did not give details.
In an interview two years later, Bush told Woodward that if the news had leaked, it would have caused ''enormous international angst and domestic speculation.''

The Bush administration's drive toward war with Iraq raised an international furor anyway, alienating long-time allies who did not believe the White House had made a sufficient case against Saddam. Saddam was toppled a year ago and taken into custody last December. But the central figure of al-Qaida, Osama bin Laden, remains at large and a threat to the west.
The book says Gen. Tommy Franks, who was in charge of the Afghan war as head of Central Command, uttered a string of obscenities when the Pentagon told him to come up with an Iraq war plan in the midst of fighting another conflict.
Woodward, a Washington Post journalist who wrote an earlier book on Bush's anti-terrorism campaign and broke the Watergate scandal with Carl Bernstein, says Cheney's well-known hawkish attitudes on Iraq were frequently decisive in Bush's decision-making.
Cheney pressed the outgoing Clinton administration to brief Bush on the Iraq threat before he took office, Woodward writes.
In August 2002, when Bush talked publicly of being a patient man who would weigh Iraqi options carefully, the vice president took the administration's Iraq policy on a harder track in a speech declaring the weapons inspections ineffective. Cheney's speech was viewed as the beginning of a campaign to undermine or overthrow Saddam. Woodward said Bush let Cheney make the speech without asking what he would say.
The vice president also figured prominently in a protracted decision March 19, 2003, to strike Iraq before a 48-hour ultimatum for Saddam Hussein to leave the country had expired.
When the CIA and its Iraqi sources reported that Saddam's sons and other family members were at a small palace, and Saddam was on his way to join them, Bush's top advisers debated whether to strike ahead of plan.
Franks was against it, saying it was unfair to move before a deadline announced to the other side, the book says. Rumsfeld and Rice favored the early strike, and Secretary of State Colin Powell leaned that way.
But Bush did not make his decision until he had cleared everyone out of the Oval Office except the vice president. ''I think we ought to go for it,'' Cheney is quoted as saying. Bush did.
U.S. forces unleashed bombs and cruise missiles, blanketing the compound but missing the palace. Tenet called the White House before dawn to say the Iraqi leader had been killed. But his optimism was premature. Saddam was alive.
The 468-page book is published by Simon & Schuster. Woodward will be interviewed on CBS' ''60 Minutes'' Sunday night o promote the book.

-------------
Damn!
How many more books need to be published before the American people get that Bush and his cronies have created the most secretive, dishonest, self serving administration in recent history, and they need to be ousted?
If a thousand authors write a thousand books describing the Bush administration's lies and criminal malfeasance, will discrediting whistle blowers become a full time job for the Bush team?
What else has to be revealed by the media and White House insiders before the legislature throws down the gauntlet and tells Bush and his cabinet enough is enough, and deals with their lies and criminal activities?

America does not go to war without provocation, it is not our way. Saddam was a vicious dictator and an avowed enemy to the U.S., but America does not have the legal right to attack our enemies with impunity or simply unseat foreign governments we don't like.
America does not tolerate dictators in the Oval Office, this is a democracy.
America does not stand for the tyranny that Bush and his associates have been perpetrating since he was appointed president.

Recently, Osama Bin Laden released a tape, singling out the Halliburton Company and its subsidiaries as enemies of Islam, and urged vengeance toward their employees stationed in Iraq.
Cheney doesn't care if Halliburton employees in Iraq are murdered.
Unemployed, desperate Americans are working for Halliburton in Iraq because they can earn exorbitant salaries, because Halliburton isn't paying for it, our tax dollars are being squandered on no-bid, secret contracts that allow Halliburton to pay a frycook stationed in Iraq about $60,000, tax free.
Bush doesn't care if his personal grudge that led to an illegal war results in the loss of thousands of American soldiers.
They just don't care who gets sacrificed, as long as they can keep their personal agendas moving forward.

I used to think America's biggest threats to national security were foreign terrorists.
Now I think the biggest threats to our security are Bush, Cheney and that smarmy Cabinet of theirs.
I don't wish violence done to either Bush or Cheney, but I sincerely believe they are criminals who need to be prosecuted for treason (for starters) and sentenced to the same prison terms as any traitor to the United States should be.

What else needs to happen before America can be free of these treasonous vultures once and for all?

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Survivor Tonight!

Rather than rehashing the update I published over the weekend, last season's Survivor Millionaire, Sandra Diaz-Twine, wrote a snappy piece about last week's show in the Seattle Post Intelligencer that I want to share with you.
Tell me who you pick to be ousted tonight. I'm going with Jenna.

'Survivor' Insider: Kathy's out on a limb after sticking it to Lex
By SANDRA DIAZ-TWINE
Last Thursday's episode was by far the best all-star episode ever. I just knew Rob was going to stick it to Lex the first chance he had. Lex, what were you thinking? That Rob was really gonna look out for you because you saved his sweet Amber? That it was all about friendship? What friendship? Like the friendship you had with Colby, Ethan and Jerri?
How true that what goes around comes around. I wonder if Colby, Ethan and Jerri loved what happened to Lex. I don't blame Rob one bit for his actions because he only had two options: to stick with his original tribal alliance or turn on them. He made the right choice and ultimately got rid of his biggest competition.
How often do you get a second chance to play "Survivor," fix all your errors and possibly win? Rob, to me, did a superb job in order to keep control of the situation and the game. I wouldn't be surprised if he goes far.
I loved the immunity challenge and the reward challenge. The two had to be among the most difficult challenges thus far, especially since the survivors are getting weaker. Both challenges were equally difficult. And the hard challenges are usually at the beginning of the game, when all the survivors are still strong mentally and physically.
Did you guys check out Jenna? She sure played her cards right at the reward challenge, rooting Rupert on and then hugging him when he won. It paid off, and he took her and Amber with him to the reward. I'm glad Rupert learned his lesson and kept the reward, rather than give it to someone else. Rupert, I'm glad you enjoyed it and I wish I were there with you. You deserved it and congratulations to you for a job well done.
I thought for a minute there that Lex was going to win the immunity challenge and I was rooting for him, too, screaming at the TV and all. I was hoping he would get his second wind and somehow win, but Rob came from behind to take the victory. Kathy did a great job as well; she really gave it all she had. I know she was very tired and still managed to get the job done.
On to tribal council. Poor Lex. He was under the impression that no matter what he wouldn't be going home because Kathy was going to give up the immunity necklace. But when the opportunity arose, Kathy decided to keep it.
Did you see how wide Lex's mouth was? He obviously was in shock because he figured he wasn't going home -- until Kathy said, "I thought about it, but I'm gonna keep it." Classic. You could drive a car into Lex's mouth. Priceless.
So, who do I think is in serious trouble this Thursday? Kathy, simply because she put herself in the middle of the Amber drama between Lex and Rob. Now she has to save her skin and make a move. Hopefully, Kathy can figure out how to turn the others against the unstoppable Rob and Amber alliance.

Between the daily news, the e-mail I receive and the brief time I spend
reading online political message boards, I have concluded:

- Bush is just the head of a festering, oozing Republican zit on the face of America
- Slightly less than half the nation supports Bush with the same zeal, bias, blindness and stupidity as the O.J. Simpson jury showed toward that murderer
- The protests that rocked the nation during the Vietnam era will look like bake sales compared to what will happen if Bush is reelected
- My nephew, who is of draft age, will be encouraged by everyone on both sides of his family to either go to Canada or join the Texas National Guard, like Bush did, to avoid the inevitable draft another Bush term will create
- If Bush is not elected, he and others in his administration should face criminal investigations and prosecution due to some or all of the malfeasance perpetrated against the American taxpayers over the last four years
- Next time I encounter a Log Cabin Republican at a social event, I am going to suspend my usual courteous line about agreeing to disagree and tell him what an ignorant, counterproductive, homophobic asshole I think he is
- Political Bloggers who do not offer comments boxes are cowards who don't have the strength of conviction to endure criticism or opposition
- All this political shit makes me cranky.

The good news:

- Watermelon season has begun
- My girlfriend has the most beautiful eyes in Texas
- Today is one of the finest people I've ever met online's birthday. Happy Birthday, Grey Bird!Please hit the link and go over and wish her well. Thanks to her and Melly, I am still Blogging.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

More Bush Speeches, Please

I actually tuned in last night to see what the Resident could possibly have to say.
I couldn't be happier that he decided to hold a press conference. The more he talks, the more people can see he's the wrong man for the job.

This morning's AOL poll speaks volumes:

How would you rate President Bush's overall job performance?
- Poor 42%
- Excellent 32%
- Good 15%
- Fair 11%
How satisfied are you with what he said during his press conference?
- Not at all 47%
- Very 40%
- Somewhat 12%
Total Votes: 139,248

His speech was pure Condi Rice, right down to the, "We would have moved heaven and earth" line she used just last week. Even though it was obvious that he'd rehearsed the rote delivery of the speech, he just can't help converting subjects and verbs into disagreement.
Once he went extemporaneous in trying to answer questions, his stammering syntax and goofy grammar went even further south.
Not only that, his answers rarely reflected the questions, so it's clear he was given some pat answers to jam into context as best he could.
Trouble is, he couldn't do that well, either.
Also troubling was his utter refusal to issue any apologies, claim any culpability, any mistakes or any shortcomings on his part.
Leaders can delegate authority, but they cannot delegate responsibility.
When things go wrong, ultimately the leader is responsible and should accept the blame.
Things have gone very wrong under this administration's "leadership."
Bush has demonstrated that he believes himself to be infallible, or at least so competent he was unable to cite even one mistake he's made in the last three and a half years.
I won't even go into his plans to send more troops and more money to Iraq.
I'm afraid my head will explode if I start down that slippery slope.
Most telling was the expression on Condi Rice's face during his speech.
She looked as if the dog she thought she'd trained was taking a giant crap on the show judge's rug.
That's the point.
A dumb mutt can only be taught so much.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Ow, My Aching Feet and Sunburned Head

Yep, it's that time a year again, Fiesta San Antonio where the whole city gets together and acts like we can't handle our liquor.
Fiesta's a bit like Mardi Gras, but without a central location to house the drunken frat boys like their Bourbon Street.
Eclair and I are negotiating which events we want to attend together.
People get locked into their favorite events, and with new lovers one must negotiate these things.
There's one event I love but can hardly ever get anyone to attend with me.
It's the Battle of the High School Bands event on April 22.
Maybe it's because my boyfriend (and later husband) was a bigshot in our high school band, but for whatever reason, I just love to see kids in their little uniforms playing songs from the radio that have no business being played by huge marching bands.
The first time I heard "Louie, Louie" done by a marching band, I was hooked.
HBO has been running the movie "Drumline" lately and I watch it every time it comes on.
The best marching band I ever heard was at the Santa Claus Lane Parade in Hollywood.
From a half mile away, we heard this deafening ka bumpa bumpa noise. It turned out to be the Watts Marching Band, all black, with about 400 drummers. Man, they could wail.
Another Fiesta event I like is called "Fiesta Gartenfest."
I like it because it's so weird. It's a bunch of old Krauts getting drunk off their asses and dancing to an oompah band, whose snare drummer is my friend Yvonne's mom, the one who's married to the guy who wants to be a girl. She should be beating her drum pretty hard this year.
One year I met the reigning Miss Oregon there. She was this fabulous looking chick with hair only 1/2 inch long, looking totally androgynous. She made the switch mid-reign and horrified the city of Portland in the process. We are still online buddies.
Another year, I met Thomas Gibson there. He's the guy who played Greg in "Dharma and Greg." His wife is from here, so that explained that.
I always watch the parades from the third floor rooftop of a small, gay B&B along the parade route. Alas, after 20 years, the place has been sold to two queens I do not know, so I am once again facing the prospect of watching the parade from street bleachers, like a common heterosexual.
I attend a few other events regularly, but the weenie dog parade is also a special one I try to catch. I don't even like weenie dogs that much, I just like the idea of a bunch of them gathering together for a parade.
Fiesta starts in three days and runs for 10 days. I am already feeling exhausted from it.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Not Bad, for a Government Worker

George W. Bush has spent more than 40 percent of his presidency on vacation.
He was on his 33rd visit to his "ranch" in Crawford over Easter weekend, where he has spent 233 days (almost eight months) since his inauguration, according to CBS news.
Add his 78 visits to Camp David and five to Kennebunkport, and he has spent all or part of 500 days out of the office while in office.
Dubya was at his ranch on August 6, 2001 as part of a month-long holiday when he received the briefing warning of Osama bin Laden's determination to attack the US, which has become a focal point of the 9/11 commission of inquiry.
Last Thursday at the ranch, he watched Condoleezza Rice give her testimony on television, then gave the National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre a tour of his spread before giving an interview to the hardhitting political digest, "The Ladies Home Journal."
Regardless of what is going on in the world, Bush is usually in bed by 10 p.m. During working hours, he takes a 90-minute to two-hour break for exercise or a nap.
At night, he likes to watch TV and eat pretzels, but the Secret Service had to nix the pretzels because he sometimes forgets to chew and chokes on them.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Note to Eclair: Please don't read this until after you see the tape.
No, really. Stop right there. Okay then, be that way.
---------------------------------

With nine All Stars left, the million buck prize is starting to sizzle
in the pan...

We open on a long shot of Kathy and Shii Ann walking the old Chapera beach, then to Amba, ambling alone further up the beach, then to Lex who's maniacally chopping wood while he delivers a soliloquy.
"To Rob or not to Rob, whether t'would've been nobler to vote Amber off and suffer the slings and arrows of Rob, or to vote away Jerri and suffer not, for she was skank..."(cut to overhead shot: a lone shark, swimming thru the calm sea waters-- also know as: foreshadowing for dummies)

On to Camp Mogo Mogo:
All is somber, all are assuming Amber has gone. Rob trips over rocks, so sullen is he, his grief prompts Big Tom to compare him to a forlorn calf, newly weaned off his mama's titty and requiring three days to overcome the shock. Such rural, masculine tenderness.
Cut to Rob and Alicia making a solemn oath of alliance, she on her esteemed honor, he on his invisible alliance Etch a Sketch.
Rob looks her in the eye and opines, "I gotta mock on my back, and I gotta watch over both showldahs at the same time." She nods, gravely.

Challenge time!
The neo-Mogos collect on the beach, and as the music swells, so do Rob's swim trunks as he seems Amba ambling in with the neo-Chaperas. Cut to Lex, panting and poised like a Rat Terrier, eyeing Rob for his expected treat. Rob looks back with little slitty eyes: Uh oh, Lex, not a good omen.
Reward challenge goes to Rupert, who gets to select two pals to accompany him on a helicopter ride to a fancy resort for the rest of that day and night. No fool, he selects Amba and Jenna.
Of course, I'd have gone for Kathy and Alicia, hoping at least one of them had some kind of lesbian mojo going on, but I digress.
During the reward footage, frankly we were gypped by not seeing the feast they got. We saw massages, hair combing, lipstick being applied and wine being served, but no food. Why bother showing us Rupert getting his first fancy reward and denying us the pleasure of seeing him eat like a Neanderthal? Besides, he's down to a skimpy size 38 or 40 pants now, and he's starting to look kind of svelte, like when Luther Vandross dropped all that weight and went kind of weird on us.
I say: Three people in life need to stay fat: Oprah, Luther and Rupert, otherwise it's not normal, damn it. Anyway, Rupert, Jenna and Amber struck one of those iron clad alliances at the dinner table. At the time, Amber's nostrils were flaring and she had her fingers, arms, legs and eyes crossed, but naive Rupe and permanently goofy Jenna must have missed it.

On to the Merge!
As Jeff Probst approached, Big Tom greeted him. "Hey, Jeffro Bodine!" he said.
Jeff ignored the Beverly Hillbillian reference, much to his credit.
So the tribes merged and called themselves, "Cha-boga-mogo," which if you say it right sounds like it would fit the tune to "La Macarana."
Fortunately, the castaways didn't catch the same syllabic coincidence and we were spared Tom's version of the hackneyed Latin dance. Anyway...
Cut to Lex, pressed against Rob's unyielding torso. "Tell me I'm safe," he whimpers.
Rob snake-eyes him, then escapes, laughingly eyeing the camera. "You didn't really believe what I told him, didja?" Cut to Rob and Amba on a rock, with romantic music wafting through the sea breeze.

"When I seen you, I was like, so happy," Rob croons. "Now we gotta get ridda Lex."
Amber, forgetting her restaurant oath the night before, said, "Why not Jenna or Rupert?"
Rob, intolerant of contradictory sass from his Betagirl, says, "Don't go soft on me, Amba."
Amber missed the chance to motion to the permawood in his pants and say, "No worry of you goin' there on me, ey, Mistah?"

Immunity challenge:
Two necklaces up for grabs, his n' hers.
Rob beats Lex in the finals and gets one. Kathy beats Amber in the finals and gets one.
Uh, oh. Rob walks up to Lex and Kathy. Rob says to Lex he hopes it doesn't spoil their friendship, but he plans to fuck him over at tribal council, and everyone is behind him on it.
Lex objects strenuously, between spoonsful of rice. Kathy is outraged by Rob's betrayal.
She starts to cry. Some women are beautiful when they cry. Alas, Kathy does that ugly crying, where her face gets blotchy red, her nose swells and she starts to look like Joe Cocker, mid-seizure.She tells Lex she will give up her immunity necklace to him. Lex says, "No, no, no, no, no, sweetheart you earned it," but hugs her with a big thank you hug.
Kathy says, "But I can go make a million dollars somewhere else." Camera operators, jungle animals and the home audience all start to giggle.

Tribal Council.
Jeff: "Rob, do you want to give up immunity?" Rob nods no.
"Kathy, do you?"
Lex looks toward her, expectantly.
Kathy: "I thought about it but, I'm keepin' it."
Lex's eyes cut to Rob, daggers form.
Then the rain starts to fall, hard.
Rob looks back at Lex and speaks: "Uhh, yeah I wanna say sumphin. If I'm yer friend, I'm yer friend, and if you don't wanna have nuthin' to do with me afta this, well I can't do anythin' about that."
Jeff eyes the group and says he wants to hug everyone they look so sad.
The vote?
Lex and Kathy vote for Amber.
The rest lampoon Lex. HE'S OUT.
The rain stops.

Next week? Kathy is seen with Tom, Shii Ann and Rupert. We hear her say she wants Jenna OUT. Camera cuts to Rob perched on a rock, chuckling over the muddle. His arrogance has become as permanent as his big erec...
Nah, too easy.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Survivor!

As we last viewed Survivor, delightfully skanky Jerri was jettisoned off the island rather than Amber, who was the sole remaining member of the Chapera tribe, which was stripped of all the other Chaperas and replaced with the four original Mogo Mogos.
Wait. Huh?
Okay, last week they all dropped their buffs, drew new ones and all the old Mogos became Chaperas and all the old Chaperas became Mogos, except for Amber, who got stuck with the old Mogos who are now Chaperas.
Boston Rob became so disheartened and forlorn without his woman, we could almost forgive the crooked little A he tattooed on his bicep in a classic prison font. He even cried genuine tears, which he wiped away with his manly thumbs.
So there we have Amber, sad without her man Boston Rob by her side, leaving her a virtual sitting duck when it came to Chapera nee Mogo Mogo's traditional loss in the immunity challenge.
Yet the other neo-Chaperas, including Lex, Kathy and Shii Ann were afraid to vote her off because they'd have to face the wrath of Boston Rob once they merged. Rob is Italian. Rob is from Boston. Rob loves Amber, wicked bad. He might have killed them if they voted off Amba.
Plus, as the redone tribes parted, Rob told Lex man to man that he'd take care of him if he took care of Amba. Kathy, with the ears of Rin Tin Tin, overheard it and called it, "Rob's Godfather move."
Apparently it worked.
Well, it also worked because Amber was so beloved by all of the original Chaperas, the original Mogos knew if Rob didn't kill them come merger time, the rest of the original Chaperas would pick them off, one by one.
So they voted off Jerri instead. Jerri had nobody who would come to her honor. She didn't have much honor to come to. Besides, nobody wanted to see her sensuously brushing her teeth again like she did when she first got to Chapera's comparatively luxurious digs. Eeeuwww.
So there we have it.
The new tribes consist of:
Mogo Mogo: Alicia, Big Tom, Rupert, Jenna and Boston Rob
Chapera: Lex, Kathy, Shii Ann and Amber
We know damn good and well it's time for a merge into one big tribe, so now it'll be every man for himself, except for Rob, who is for himself and Amber.
Previews suggest Rob overpromised too much to too many, and someone is confronting him over it.
We know Rupert and Big Tom would like to take Rob behind the woodshed, at least we think so, but who can understand what Tom is saying or what Rupert is trying to say in that weird, babytalk whine he gets going?
Anyway, someone's gotta go and I'm going to pick either Alicia or Kathy, just because I think it's too early for the men to start in on each other.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Bloggy Wednesday: Some Bush, Some Not

--Oh, goodie.
Nixon White House Counsel John Dean of Watergate fame has written a new book about the Bush administration called, "Worse Than Watergate: The Secret Presidency of George Bush."
Thinking people have to wonder why their public libraries now have entire sections of books about what liars and crooks we have in the White House.
Alas, the people who still believe in Bush are decidedly not readers.
Perhaps someone can put a NASCAR-themed coloring book together, and sneak in details about Bush being such a total loser.

--Is anyone still watching "The L Word" on Showtime? The plot lines have gotten more ridiculous by the week, but they are oddly compelling. Well, maybe they aren't that compelling, but the nice looking chicks having all that sex certainly are.
Jenny, the cute little bisexual woman with the enormous eyes who was engaged to Tim but ran off with Marina, started reminding me of my Jewish ex from Canada. Turns out the woman who plays her *IS* a Jewish woman from Canada. No wonder I saw so many shudder-worthy similarities.

--Near my Shiksa girlfriend Eclair's house is our city's beautiful, thriving Jewish Community Center. Also in her neighborhood is a grocery store that sells lots of Kosher foods and items used in Jewish celebrations, like candles and paper goods.
Last Sunday morning, when I went to the store for bagels and the Sunday NY Times, I was delighted to see displays of goodies for Easter standing head to head with Passover treats.
They were selling Manischevitz concord grape flavored matzo right next to holy water bottles shaped like the Virgen de Guadalupe. Gotta love the incongruity.

--I used to love getting Easter baskets stuffed with all kinds of candy and chocolates. Now that I have diabetes, I imagine it would be a challenge to create a suitable Easter basket for me.
Not all adults expect to get Easter baskets from their significant others, however, Eclair and I are the babies of our respective families, and we both expect them.
I can't wait to see what's in mine.
Do you expect an Easter basket, or make one for your main squeeze? What do you put in theirs, or want in yours?

--We dilly-dallied over planting those Valentine's Day rose bushes until last weekend. Turns out we were able to dig holes and plant them both in under a half hour. One of them actually bloomed about an hour after being sunk into the ground. The roses were orange when we bought the bushes, but now they are yellow. Weird.

--A year ago this month, George W. Bush staged a costly and theatrical jet landing on an aircraft carrier and emerged in a pilot suit, proudly announcing the war with Iraq was over, with a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner mounted behind him as he spoke.
This week, fighting in Iraq reached epic proportions for our military, with no end in sight.
Bush appeared in El Dorado, Arkansas yesterday and said he still planned to turn over sovereignty to Iraq on June 30.
He was unable to say to whom he planned to turn it over, and unfortunately, he did not specify in which year the June 30 switch would occur.
Gulp.

Monday, April 05, 2004

Mister Mom, Part 2

I was happily ensconced at Eclair's house all weekend, so I didn't get much new dirt on the tale of Yvonne's father who wants to become a woman.
I caught up when I got home last night and called Yvonne.
Funny thing, she hasn't spoken to either parent much since the bomb was dropped last week.
Typical of them. They don't have that urge to talk new things to death, I suppose because they are all so accustomed to controlling everything they say and how they react to each other.
Yvonne instead spent the weekend reviewing her memories to see if she could spot clues from the past.
-In 1988, she found a Lee's Press-On Nail behind a dresser in her parent's guest room.
She asked her father about it last week, and he said he didn't start using fake nails until 1990, so the mystery remains unsolved.
-Though her father always professed an intense dislike for shopping at the mall, she did recall how, once he was forced to go, he always took great interest in helping the mother select her clothes.
-For the last few years, he's been adding his own little transsexual items to those humorous e-mail forwards he sends Yvonne, like, "You know you're a Democrat when..."
She can tell he added them because the tone changed. For instance:
You know you're a Democrat when:
1. Your dream car is a solar powered Volvo station wagon.
2. You understand that gender identity dysphoria can create a stigma that can devastate the life of a boy and cause him to make decisions in his adult life that paralyze him with feelings of self loathing and hopelessness, resulting in only two choices, suicide or sexual reassignment surgery
3. You think Oprah should be President...

Now Yvonne and I are worried we might start running into her father Pam at some of the gayish places we hang out. I mean, we live in the same 3-mile radius and even Jim's, the local Denny's-type restaurant, is a potential crossroads.
In the evening, we frequent a certain gay-friendly coffee house and wine bar.
I recall I was there a few months ago amidst a sea of middle aged men dressed as women.
I bet Pam was there and spotted me, but perhaps she hid behind her frilly lace Pollyanna sunbonnet to avoid my gaze.
Nah, I usually just ignore trannies in public, because if I start to stare I end up wanting to ask where they buy all that gigantic retro Doris Day casual wear and those slingback mules in size 13.

I must admit, there is some subtle discrimination toward trannies in the gay and lesbian community.
We average, run of the mill queers don't like when mainstream news covers a gay march or rally and interviews a big old Dolly Parton wig-clad trannie from the crowd.
We like our public spokesqueers to look more ordinary, so the straight world can see the gay issue is all so much ado about nothing.
Hard for straight folks to accept it when the TV screen is filled with someone who looks like Minnie Pearl and sounds like Johnny Cash.
Some M-F transsexuals continue to be attracted to women, making them transsexual lesbians. We lesbians with original parts often shake our heads and wonder why they switched.
Yvonne's father assured her, no matter what, he'd continue to be heterosexual.
I asked if that meant, as a woman would he start to like men, or as a hetero male switching to being a woman, would he still like women?
Poor Yvonne. She looked into the air and said, "Ya know, I don't know. I didn't think to ask that."
I think we are both concerned that her daddy will start wanting to hang out with us now.
Will we one night be at a drag show and have Pam come up to us, wanting to share a few tequila body shots?
Will he start coming over without first calling, all excited about showing Yvonne his new, zebra print capris?
Oy vey.
Life used to be much simpler here in River City.

Friday, April 02, 2004

Mommy Dearest?

At first I thought it was an April Fool's joke.
My friend I'll call Yvonne called me yesterday, urgently asking to come by and tell me about an earth shattering recent event in her family.
I have known her for 15 years. I know her brother, her mom and dad, her sister-in-law and her little nephew.
Her parents have always been weird.
The mother is a domineering, critical type and the dad is a typical engineer type, with a stoic temperament, not much to say and wildly perfectionistic standards.
As a hobby, the mom plays drums for a German Oompah band, and the dad collects guns and likes to fly around in his little Cessna.
They have always been undemonstrative, secretive and emotionally cold to Yvonne and her brother. Forget Yvonne and her brother being raised by wolves, try raised by robots.

Anyway, on Monday her dad somberly told her he has a letter to give her. He said it contained some crucial news about his health. Yvonne immediately thought Alzheimer's or Lou Gherig's disease. She braced herself for the worst.
Two days later, when the shock had subsided a bit, Yvonne brought the letter over to get my take on it.
I held the three pages of small, single-spaced type and began to read. As I read, my jaw dropped and stayed dropped.
Seems her father had finally had enough of the lies and pretending. After 43 years of marriage, he said it was either commit suicide or become the person he was always meant to be.
He's getting gender reassignment surgery.
Yvonne, always one to seize an opportunity, took that news as the perfect segue into telling her father she was gay.
Needless to say, he was cool about it. So immersed was he in his gender dysphoria, he said he never noticed she was gay. So immersed is he now in his plans to become a woman, the topic of Yvonne's coming out only lasted a few minutes, then it was back to him.
Yvonne was delighted with the reprieve. She'd always expected to be disowned if she came out to him. Ha.
Her mother knows of her father's true desire, and she has known since Yvonne was an infant. Yvonne's brother knows too; he caught his father in drag several years ago.
So now the secret is out.
The father has been taking female hormones for a while now, so he's ready to start verbally exploring these new things he's noticing called emotions and feelings.
The mother and brother are horrified. They don't want the dad rocking the boat. They think if the topic is not mentioned, it'll go away.
Yvonne knows better.
Meanwhile, the father is just giddy about his new ladies' group, 40 local men wanting to become women, who attend meetings in full drag.
I haven't seen him in drag, but I suspect it'll take a lot of makeup to go from a he to a she with that dude.
Yvonne thinks the whole thing is kind of cool, but she's dreading her mother's inevitable meltdown.
The mother hates change of any kind. If she lets it, this change will be her Waterloo.
The father's letter was heavy on scientific data and skimpy on personal details, but I could sense how excited he was to have made the decision to come out.

I knew Yvonne was counting on me for a sensible, calm, reassuring reaction.
I could only think of one suitable thing to say once I had finished the letter.

I looked at her, drew in a deep breath and said, "Hey, can I go with you to the next Thanksgiving Dinner at your parent's house?"
She looked at me and without skipping a beat, said, "Better bring some extra wine."

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Survivor Tonight!

After last week's midseason recap, I think it's safe to expect a merge tonight.
It's about time.
Rumor has it, the merge won't be everyone moving into one big tribe. It'll be more like the producers evening out the lopsided, six to four ratio and making two tribes of five.
By now, we know Boston Rob is the definite overdog in this race.
Lex is probably his biggest threat, if you can call Lex a threat, so I think he's on the thinnest ice going into an eventual merge.
We also know Boston Rob and Amber are the show's first honest to goodness couple.
I'm thinking Boston Rob and Amber will be pulled apart in this temporary twist, but it won't last.
Now that the show's over, it seems not only are Rob and Amber still dating, Jenna and Ethan are a couple, according to a TV Guide thing I read. I can see that. Two bland, but nice kids. Mazel tov.
So, who's out tonight?
As we left it, the two tribes consisted of:
CHAPERA: Amber, Big Tom, Alicia, Boston Rob, Rupert and Jenna.
MOGO MOGO: Shii Ann, Lex, Kathy and Jerri.
Not knowing who'll be included in the mix-up, it's hard to guess who from which tribe will get the boot.
So I'll just say Jerri or Alicia, and I hope it's Jerri because Alicia's body is just too nice to see leave the island.