Last week when my Psychiatrist asked me if I was feeling better about reducing a commitment from life I answered her honestly. Yes, of course it feels nice to have less of a weight on my shoulders, but there is always something new to feel guilty about, that is just how I am.

So I guess I walked directly into a classic psychotherapist playbook. Dr. M quickly pulled out her laptop and sent me a link to the first google hit for Cognitive Distortions. I read the link, didn’t think it really made a lot of sense to me, but when Cory pointed out that it was the first hit he received when he looked up what are Cognitive Distortions, I decided to dig a little deeper to see if maybe Google didn’t have the utmost authority on the topic at the top of its list. I came across a Ted Talk by David Burns. Dr. Burns is one of the fathers of the Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which I had never really heard of before this week.

I realized a couple of things while listening to this talk. 1. Every self help book that I have read over the years is trying to get me to the same conclusion that this guy has. 2. I should just go to the source and read HIS self help book.

I about a quarter of the way through the book, and I have to say that I love both the accessible yet academic nature of the book itself, and I also really love the idea of using Data to understand, evaluate and maybe even cure depression.

I started my data collection nearly immediately. I carry a small notebook with me, and every time I have a thought for a situational reaction that feeds my negative feelings, I write it down. It’s been a day and a half and I feel like I already better understand the root of my problem.

This is my blog, so I intend to continue to share my experience, though the thoughts I have written in my little notebook will never see the light of digital glow. I am very ashamed of my miserable, jealous and pathetic thoughts. Progress comes slowly, and I am committed to it.

"We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are always there for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.
-- Jeff Warner

"What I want to say to you is that sometimes life catches you by surprise and you feel unequipped to handle what it brings you, but every bit of life you've lived before that moment equips you to live through it. That's what I would give to you."
-Fanni Victoria Green-Lemons (talking to her daughter)

If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can, there is nothing more to it than that.

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
-Jill Churchhill