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So, I said last time I would write about Scottsdale nightclubs and oh, what an experience. To be honest, it was kind of boring. We went to a club called Suede. The best part was pulling up in the Hummer H2 limo and getting right through the line because my niece knew someone there. Her husband drives limos – hence the ride and entry into the club. I had one drink – aren’t I out of control? I think i had an amaretto stone sour. Then we stood around. Oh! We sat, too.

No one really talked to us except for a few random people. No one hit on us. Except on my sister Donna. Some girl came up and danced real close to her and then walked away. And this older woman – very drunk – came up to her and said, “Are you Donna?” My sister says “Yes, do I know you?” This woman says “I’m Trina from Iowa. I have no idea.” It was so weird but really funny. Then she asked us what we were laughing at. Well, what do you think we are laughing at, weird, drunk lady from Iowa? What the heck are you doing in Scottsdale asking if Donna is Donna??

This group of guys was near us and dressed way too nicely. One of them clapped very loudly to all his favorite songs. One of those guys asked how I was doing and if I was having fun. He was very nice. Then this Cheri O’Teri look-a-like started dancing with the clapper. I swear they were doing moves from Super Cheers. It was a Will and Grace moment.

I guess we didn’t go out of our way to talk to anyone either, but I was completely out of my element. I felt overdressed and definitely over-aged. No one was really dancing – maybe if they were, we would have, too. There was a photo shoot going on by a local photographer. That was interesting to watch. There were quite a few girls running around in their underwear for the shoot.

The last time I went to Phoenix and went to a club with my niece, we went to the Pink Taco. People were more friendly to us and then we got to ride home in the Jaguar limo that had the front doors go up in the air instead of out. I think it was ladies night because as we were on the terrace, guys were sneaking in through the cracks in the fence around it. They weren’t letting a lot of guys in, I guess. They’d sit near us at a table for a second, acting like they had been there for awhile before going into the club.

They said that Dennis Rodman was there that night and a player from the Phoenix Suns. I didn’t see Dennis, but I saw a really tall guy that people were whispering about. I think it was a few members of his entourage that were hitting on Aimee and me, but we pretended to be lesbian lovers. Plus she was pregnant with her third child so I pet her belly lovingly. They backed off. Aimee said they closed the Pink Taco. It’s not surprising.