Day 1 of Valve’s strange, bread-based update to TF2 has been unveiled, and it kicks off with a rather masterfully concocted (if not a tad cliched) tale of murder-fueled romance.

After you’ve digested the 15-minute video, feel free to read up on other aspects of the update, right now limited to new dance moves available for unlocking in Valve’s lighthearted murder simulator.

There are plenty of clues to what could be coming up, but there’s no way to know what’s “real” and what’s just for entertainment purposes. Will there be a new cooperative mode where mercs slay renegade rye? Will a new female class be added to TF2’s historically masculine lineup? Will the Demoman gain access to new beer-based bombs?