Spiders in my house and I have a deal. They get the fireflies and the bugs, they get free rein to make webs in the corners. It works, and I respect their contribution to the house. I demand that they work for their keep...

Spiders in my house and I have a deal. They get the fireflies and the bugs, they get free rein to make webs in the corners. It works, and I respect their contribution to the house. I demand that they work for their keep...

I live on the ground floor of a 60 year old old apartment building, so I run a spider taxi service from the bathroom to the patio. Girlfriend finds a spider, I ferry it outside and go clean up the ant corpses it left in the corner.

The house centipedes get shot with rubber bands though. Creepy bastards.

Seriously- my wife LOSES HER MIND at even the mention of the word "spider". If I tried that practical joke shiat, it'd be Divorceville.

Careful with that crap.

My mom has always been deathly afraid of spiders. When I was in first or second grade, I bought a rubber tarantula at a fair in Southern California, and my mom -- knowing my sense of humor even as a young child -- took it as soon as I got home, and put it way out of reach.

Unfortunately, she put it at the top of a tall bookcase, and a few weeks later she wanted to get a book on the top shelf. I'm sure you can guess the rest. The rubber spider fell on the floor at her feet, and she let out a scream you could hear all the way through the house.

"However, when making a choice between a Frankenstein female (female head and thorax of one fused to the blood-engorged abdomen of another female) and a hybrid with a male head and thorax on a blood-engorged female abdomen, the spiders usually selected the hybrid with female antennae, even though both have large, red abdomens filled with blood."

I knew an arachnid researcher back in my heady days of toxicology reserach. He had been doing research on Salticidae and was kind enough to inform me that members of Salticidae were proven to have the similar intelligence to dogs. These spiders can solve problems. Sweet dreams!

nursemt719:I knew an arachnid researcher back in my heady days of toxicology reserach. He had been doing research on Salticidae and was kind enough to inform me that members of Salticidae were proven to have the similar intelligence to dogs. These spiders can solve problems. Sweet dreams!

Hey, look buddy. I'm a Salticidae . That means I solve problems. Not problems like, "What is beauty?," because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of 'philosophy'. I solve practical problems.

F'r instance, how am I gonna get some tasty tasty blood out off some big, mean Mother Hubbard without him tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?

The answer, eat a mosquito. And if that don't work? Use a gun. Like this heavy caliber tripod mounted little old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... not pointed at you.

Oldiron_79:nursemt719: I knew an arachnid researcher back in my heady days of toxicology reserach. He had been doing research on Salticidae and was kind enough to inform me that members of Salticidae were proven to have the similar intelligence to dogs. These spiders can solve problems. Sweet dreams!