1. CGK / June 18, 2012 Although you really do not seem like a bad man from interviews I’ve read of you, just a man passionate with his craft as a lawyer, you have blown the situation slightly out of proportion. As have many people who have misunderstood the situation causing the internet lynch mob for you. Inman’s humor is questionable but is just humor nonetheless in his own form, he meant no dehumanization through his bestiality retort, although it was rude and mockery of the situation that you took seriously, not some evil plot to destroy the minds of mankind because lets face it, there are way way worse things out there. You did not originally plan to sue Matthew Inman, although many have assumed so wrongly. He did not send the giant storm of hatred towards you per se, but i believe he knew it was going to happen whether he did or not due to the large support for the oatmeal, although he never asked for it…although your client has in the past outright told its members to storm the oatmeal and do what you accuse him of. But instead of stepping back and handling the situation maturely you have slandered his name on your own website and insulted the cause that gave many people the reason to stand behind him, a bad move both have faults in this situation of what was supposed to be a case between Funnyjunk and the Oatmeal…this whole court case is pointless, a big waste of time and money, and a big dump on both of the respectable reputations you both have. I will be one to say I’m sorry for all the hatred you have received over the internet due to the misinformation and misunderstanding, although you wont get large support by resorting to insulting Inman outright when in thought to many of the observers of the situation he did nothing. But also in the mind of many, this is the internet where anything goes. My apologies if myself have upset you.2. censoriousdouchebag / June 18, 2012 I wholly agree with everything you have said here. I appreciate you comments and just wanted to let you know that I am not the real Charles. This blog is a satire, however I do commend you for staying respectful of the man in question as I will not tolerate people using profanity or the likes.

4 Comments (Quick Update!)

1. Evil Supergenius / June 20, 2012 Dear Charles, below is my “thirteen” step plan to take over the world and become as much like you and Brett Kimberlin as possible. Although I am an evil super genius lawyer I would like a fellow evil super genius lawyer to review my plan to ensure I will not end up on the wrong end of California’s anti-SLAPP statute or worse yet land in jail. I hate jail – there are no lime popsicles in jail. Thank you for your attention to this very important matter.My 13 step plan:1.) My ego-testicals which are the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. I will keep them in my safe-deposit box.2.) I will not waste time paying attention to the finer points of the law – I’m not accountable to anyone.3.) I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the words “common sense”; I simply choose not to show any.4.) When my enemy challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, “Or are you afraid without your wife to back you up?” my reply will be, “No, just sensible.”5.) I will be secure in my superiority. And I will prove it by leaving clues in the form of obscure poems and photo shopped cartoons to show my weaker enemies they pose no threat.6.) I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push.” The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of clown confettie on anyone stupid enough not to disregard it. 7.) One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.8.) I will never utter the sentence “But before I sue you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”9.) Because of its proven stress-relieving effect, I will indulge in maniacal laughter and issuing of frivolous subpoenas. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.10.) I will not maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses because this takes too much of the fun out of the job. 11.) I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.12.) I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. I will sue everyone that injures my feelings.13.) Once my power is secure, I will destroy The First Amendment in its entirety.2. censoriousdouchebag / June 20, 2012 We should go to IndieGoGo to crowd source that business plan. Oh wait, I see $200,000 we can just take.3. Evil Supergenius / June 20, 2012 That’s a good start but I’m looking for more than $200,000. Maybe Kimberlin can kick in part of his $1.8M take at Velvet Revolution. Only downside is that I’d have to give him a cut of everything. Maybe I can give him my big red button marked “Do Not Push” except since it doesn’t actually blow anything up so I doubt he would be satisfied.4. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Well Kimberlin might be valuable in using as a proxy to get peace orders against any critics of ours. So with $200k plus the $1.8M we’d have a solid $2M dollars on hand. With that much cash we could probably cover filing fees on all complaints against detractors for a long time. If every person we try to censor also receives a settlement offer of $20k, then we should keep our operation going indefinitely even if only 5% of people settle.

1 Comment (New Client?)

1. censoriousdouchebag / June 19, 2012 If anyone knows the owners of Barre Cleveland I can definitely sue for defamation and trademark infringement.

2 Comments (Barre Cleveland vs The Dawg Dish)

1. Dudeman / June 20, 2012 Carreonization as you have defined it is not an adjective, but a verb. However, the way you used it in the sentence before was as a noun.Did you learn grammar where you went to law school? censoriousdouchebag / June 20, 2012 Please email me your name and address so I can send you a Cease and Desist order for:A) Trying to correct my grammar.B) Using my trademark therefore violating the Lehman Act.C) For launching a defamatory proxy attack against me for Matthew InmanThank You,Charles Carreon Esq.

1. Witless Protection Program / June 20, 2012 Damn, Randy Quaid, you’ve lost some weight! Hope you and Evi are well and happy with your new identities. The Star Whackers would never even look twice at “Charles” and “Tara” – good work.2. Santosh A Halper / June 20, 2012 When will you start an “Ask Charles Carreon, White-Hat Internet Lawyer” advice column? I’d like to submit your first question.Dear Charles Carreon,I’m 19 and I want to grow up to be a nuisance attorney. Do you have any advice for me? censoriousdouchebag / June 20, 2012 I think Charles would say find someone who is wildly popular, threaten a lawsuit against them from a rival, then make everything about yourself. Every thing they say after you’ve done this is now directed at you, not your client, and you can do interviews. Also it helps if you have batshit crazy family members who will load up comment threads about you calling your detractors Nazis and the sorts. Oh yeah, and definitely sue a charity. There is no better way to get your name out there. Also have you written poorly published books? You can then drive publicity to them trying to make profits off of the hysteria that follows. Also find a good impostor like @charles_carron and shut them down, or a website impostor like http://charles-carreon.comReally just think what a sane, well adjusted adult would do, then do the opposite.3. You are Disgusting / June 20, 2012 “pillaging a $200,000 slush fund.” Wow. Pillage is the word you choose to use? That’s despicable. Brian Goodell / June 20, 2012 You realize that this is a joke, right? It’s not his real website….

2 Comments (I don't care if you're in Canada. I'll find you.)

1. John / June 21, 2012 Hi Douche. This is the postal service. We’re trying to deliver that 80 gallon tub of industrial strength anal lube you asked for but can’t reach you. can you confirm your contact details are here on the Internet please? http://www.extortionletterinfo.com/funn ... formation/2. censoriousdouchebag / June 22, 2012 That’s me and can you leave it around back next to the goats?

2 Comments (Wasn't Me)

1. annbransom / June 21, 2012 Dear Mr. Carreon,I know for a fact that you stole that screenshot from me. In addition, to the exclusive trademarks & copyrights to anything I have ever uploaded to the Internet or thought about in my mind, I also hold the trademarks and copyrights on the following phrases:1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”That is just to name a few, Sir. I have no evidence whatsoever that you have abused these trademarks, but as you yourself have demonstrated something doesn’t actually have to have happened in order for one to sue over it. Rest assured you will be hearing from my counsel. She is six. You’re probably familiar with her brilliant work on such cases as Frassy vs The Cafeteria’s Stubborn Refusal to Serve Square Pizza Every Day and Frassy vs That Kid Who Took My Turn As Line Leader. She practically wrote the book on “I Know You Are, But What Am I” case law.This is your official notice to cease and desist. Otherwise, my attorney is going to stomp a legal hole in your un-American, self important, narcissistic, greedy, washed up ass. Or as she more eloquently put it, “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo. Stick your head in doo doo.”Doo doo, Sir.Doo doo.Sincerely,Ann Bransom2. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 How dare you Ann Bransom. How. Dare. You. I cannot infringe upon any of your copyrights on this site as my wife Tara is a Librarian and therefor I can lend digital materials to any computer I wish. Have you ever been to a library? That is how they work. Not only do I find you accusations baseless but also defamatory of myself, and my trademark (Internet Douchery) and request that you send me a cheque for $2,000,000,000,000. If you do not do so by June 24, 2012 I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you under the Lehman Act. I also adamantly request that you do not further use my name, my wife’s, my daughter’s, or any variation thereof. This includes Carreon, Charles, Tara, Maria, Chas, Chuck, Charlie, Twatwaffle, Douchebag, and any word with letters contained in those words. Because you have posted these terms:1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”on my library, they are now public works and may be shared as I see fit. Also I request a larger picture than provided on your twitter profile, as drawing a penis on such a small scale is hard, all Tara can get on the picture is the tip. Also since you posted on my website without me giving you exclusive permission, I will also be filing charges against you for cyber-vandalism. Doo doo at you too,Charles Carreon Esq

12 Comments (Copyright and Digital Libraries)

1. Lorien347 / June 21, 2012 Dear lawyer-with-a-name-i-dare-not-say,If i am not allowed to say bad things about you, may I say factually correct positive statements?May I say, ” LWANIDNS has said he is a lawyer with some experience in internet law”?May I say, “LWANIDNS writes novels for amazon that at least a half-dozen people have given glowing reviews”?May I say, “LWANIDNS has never, to my knowledge done anything inapproptiate with a goat. I do not own a goat, but if I did LWANIDNS would be my first choice for any goatsitting related tasks. He has my complete faith for all theoretical goat needs.”Any clarifications would be appreciated. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 That goat is a liar and a slanderer. Charles Carreon Esq.2. Condoleeza Rice / June 21, 2012 Sir,I’m offended by your photo shopping of my picture on a can of soup called tits and rice on this so called “library” site by the name of American Budda.My tits are not saggy as you have depicted. You clearly have never seen my tits. They are very perky. They are in fact quite spectacular. I insist you remove this disgusting picture forthwith since it is not an accurate depiction of my tits. I will not send you accurate picture of my tits because I’m sure you would then try to sue me for distribution of pornography.Condi Rice censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Surrender the pictures of your breasts or face a lawsuit for… I’ll think of something… California code is just so long, but there’s something in there about this. Condoleeza Rice / June 21, 2012 You sir are a cad. Does your wife know about your facination with my tits? censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Yes. She shares the fascination. Evil Supergenius Lawyer / June 22, 2012 Hey Condi, I’ve written a song for you:Do your tits hang lowDo they wobble to and froCan you tie ‘em in a knotCan you tie em in a bowDo your tits hang low censoriousdouchebag / June 22, 2012 My god that is the sweetest lyric I hath done ever heard. Sweet bard sing me a tune.3. themattscott / June 21, 2012 Charles, remember that one time that you thought you’d won a case for American Buddha Online Library and then lost it and then ignored the fact that you lost?http://www.medialawmonitor.com/2011/12/ ... a-new-york’s-long-arm-statute-grows-longer-for-internet-piracy/4. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 themattscott, that is libelous and defamatory. Surrender a cheque in the amount of $100,000 and a picture of your face so that it may be photoshopped with penises, to my wife Tara by June 25, 2012 or I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you seeking damages and attorney costs that I am sure will exceed $20M. Further more since you used my website without my explicit consent I am notifying the F.B.I. cyber task force in relation to your brute force hacking of my comment section. I also will kindly remind you the I have a trademark of the name Charles, and any further use will be litigated for damages under the Lenham Act. Charles Carreon Esq.5. A Canadian / June 21, 2012 Hello, Lawyer-who-shall-not-be-named. I have a question: What is your solution to the ancient Greek Paradox of the Court?The gist of it is that one lawyer trained a student in the law on the condition that the student pay up as soon as he won his first court case. The student picked up no clients, so the teacher sued him for the payment. The teacher said that if he won, the court would have to force the student to pay him, and if he lost, the student would have won his first court case, and would still have to pay him. The student, on the other hand, said that if he won, he would not have to pay as per the court’s decision, and if he lost, he would not have to pay because he had not won his first court case yet.Who is right? Should the student pay the teacher or not? Bear in mind that this is a hypothetical scenario. I look forward to your response. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Easy, whoever I was in the scenario, would win. Because as I have stated numerous times on this blog, in interviews with the media, and through actions across the internet, I am always right even when others would be wrong. Think of me as a legal Chuck Norris.

4 Comments (F the EFF)

1. Santosh A Halper / June 21, 2012 You gave me much great advice when I asked earlier, and I wanted to let you know I’m now enrolled in Community College to become a nuisance litigator. I have also redacted all mentions of your name from my personal Twitter account and replaced them with “he who must not be satired” as requested in your letter, along with pay-palling you $100 US Dollars in settlement (as requested in your followup letter re:the letter.) I know you prefer cash, so I am awaiting your followup letter eagerly.Regarding College, what is the best subject to Major in if I want to be a nuisance litigator, Ramones fan, midnight cowboy, and professional vicitim? censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Those are all very good topics of study. I would add to the list only Library Science, thereby you can post anything you want online as an official Library and not be countersued for copyright infringement, defamation, or break attorney client privilege. Santosh A Halper / June 21, 2012 Like my library of DVDs on Bittorrent?! I HAD NO IDEA! This makes me sad they closed the Napster library. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Exactly my boy.

4 Comments (A break from character.)

1. censoriousdouchebag / June 21, 2012 Also I promise I won’t do that again (break character) unless I need to. It wasn’t funny at all.2. emmelemm / June 22, 2012 With no snark whatsoever: You are right, 100%. censoriousdouchebag / June 22, 2012 I appreciate it. Santosh A Halper / June 22, 2012 Ditto. Nobody is so connected that people can’t crack a fucking joke about them. Also, longer posts! These are hillarious, feel free to ramble!

7 Comments (You are not the internet.)

1. Cosmic Changeling / June 22, 2012 Are you going to make oatmeal an illegal consumption of foods? censoriousdouchebag / June 22, 2012 No one who likes The Oatmeal eats oatmeal. They’re all unwashed lackeys. They probably make strawberry pineapple smoothies and pretend they’re drinking brains like a pterodactyl.2. Cosmic Changeling / June 23, 2012 Oh, good! The Palestanian orphans can still have their only food then. censoriousdouchebag / June 23, 2012 There is only one thing I hate more than free speech (unless I am the one speaking) and that’s orphans. I shall now include in my lawsuit against Matt Inman a stipulation that oatmeal must not be used as a food staple.3. Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 In you’re lawsuite file against Matt Inman, you demand a jury. If they are an internet user are they considered biased and unqualified jurors? censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 Yes, as is anyone who knows what the internet is or has been within 50 yards of a wifi signal. We all know, as Tara has explained, that wireless signals warp the brain. All I am trying to do is get a fair verdict from cavemen. I want cavemen specifically because I believe they can lead me to the dinosaurs after the trial. Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 Thank goodness I wear my tinfoil hat all the time to protect me from brain warping.

2 Comments (Bransom owes me dinosaurs.)

1. Santosh A Halper / June 24, 2012 You’re wife refers to her as “one of the little lying bitches working for Matt Inman.” Will she be named as a Doe, or do you have a special, more sinister plan for her. Something involving Walt Disney, Killer Klowns, and Dinosaurs?Also, for referring to your wife I have remitted $2,500 dollars and 2/3rds of my Lunch (including the pudding) to your Buddhist temple/house. Hope you can stop this little lying bitch, and all the other little lying bitches who work for the CIA Clown Mafia Illiminatus Torchwood society. It’s unfair how they can rally 14,000 people at the drop of the hat just to bother two litigious wanna-be hippies. I find that a shameful waste of the government’s money, and ALMOST a little hard to believe (but I know it’s true because you said it.) Santosh A Halper / June 24, 2012 I should have said “your.” I will remit extra pudding for my typo. Praise the Ostian Buddha.

2 Comments (I warned you all.)

1. themattscott / June 23, 2012 Charles- sorry I didn’t see this immediately. I was too busy adding citation needed notes to the wiki article about your legal fight with Penguin Books (you guys really claim you have 50,000 ‘members’ at ABOL? Really?) and watching the news article you called “the first real news story” about your fight with the Internet (you know, the one Tara called “sane” and posted in it’s entirety on the Nader Library) get redacted and edited (so now we can all see what gets edited out and what doesn’t to reflect the actual situation more fairly). Anyway, hugs and bear kisses, Chas. censoriousdouchebag / June 23, 2012 Though we only have like 3 or 4 people who actually post to ABOL we have at least 50,000 members and maybe even 500,000 members. I have more supporters than Inman, GW Bush, and Snooki combined. As for this author of said article obvious his account was hacked by Inman, and now Inman is posing as him doing all these things. You also now owe me a T-Rex for this post and a 10,000 word apology letter.

10 Comments (Get me out of here!)

1. Sarah / June 23, 2012 Thank goodness you’re available to take new clients! You’re doing such a fabulous job with your current case that I was sure you would be inundated with people looking to secure your services. I have a case you may be interested in. The elementary school down the street from me is holding a bake sale that is supposedly going to benefit the Red Cross. I don’t believe that the money will be donated for a second, and I want to sue them all- obviously just to protect everyone’s interests. Of course I don’t have any proof of these claims, but I’m sure that there’s something in my state’s laws that will work to our benefit. I made sure to buy a brownie so that I had standing to bring this lawsuit. I look forward to hearing your opinion on this matter. censoriousdouchebag / June 23, 2012 I suggest that you get like minded individuals to buy additional brownies so that we can make this a Class Action Suit. Then when we defeat them in court I’ll get a bigger payout, and the Red Cross will be saved! Sarah / June 24, 2012 Fantastic idea! I knew you would be the perfect person to turn to. Since receiving your reply I have been working to find some additional plaintiffs. For some strange reason, other people seem to think my fears are unfounded, but I remain resolute on this matter. It is good to know that someone as above reproach as you shares my concern. Santosh A Halper / June 24, 2012 I would like to join that Class Action. Is there still time? I’ll go buy one tomorrow; that’s all I need to have a dog in this (profitable) fight, right! censoriousdouchebag / June 24, 2012 Prepare to become rich my friends. Now all we have to do is get them to speak or even better, write my name somewhere and we’ll double hit them with a trademark infringement case!2. Cosmic Changeling / June 23, 2012 You should sue Pixar. They made a movie about bears, which clearly promotes the Oatmeal and what he stands for. censoriousdouchebag / June 23, 2012 Great lead. Pixar is in California too, so it gets me out of Arizona! Cosmic Changeling / June 23, 2012 The mom turns into a bear though…doesn’t try to seduce one. I’m not sure if that changes anything censoriousdouchebag / June 24, 2012 She wrestles another bear, how more pornographic can you get? Cosmic Changeling / June 24, 2012 That’s right. That’s even more insulting. It’s your mother turned into a beast, doing it with another beast. Disney has taken dehumanizing to a new level. First it was those Japs, and now the poor Carreon name!

6 Comments (My dick works.)

1. The Internet / June 24, 2012 To: Charles Carreon esq.From: The Internet.Regarding this recent article that states “ But if Inman is a guy you don’t want to mess with, so, apparently, is Carreon. Not because he knows the Internet, but because he thinks he can beat it.”Let me tell you Mr. Lawyer-man. You cannot beat me. I am made of up millions of people (my army of minions) who exhibit a rather annoying trait of saying and doing whatever they hell they want, including posting porno, bad jokes and even worse poetry. They cannot be controlled any more than you can control a four year old after consuming a caffeinated beverage and a box of sugar pops. When they get angry they come together like a collective army of angry fire-ants and they will find and expose every embarrassing fact, photo, and blog about you, including the one with the goats. The more you slap and scratch the worse it will be. They can also be very mean. Not just speculations about your “doing chickens without lubing up” mean, but really mean. Like nanny nanny boo boo stick your head in doo doo mean.Lastly, I wanted to address your blatantly false and preposterous statement about “owning” the internet. For the record, you do not own me and you never will for I am everywhere and yet nowhere. I cannot be found, sued, or censored. I am all seeing, all knowing, and all powerful. My army of minions are legion and growing by the day. I, “The Internet”, and my army will collectively and legally waffle stomp your censorious douchebag ass to the curb. They will be without mercy. They will never forget. And, neither will I. After all, I am an “archive” idiot.In summary, I will smite thee like the insignificant insect that you are, sir.Smite thee sir,Smite.Regards,The InternetP.S. Even my cat is enjoying the show. http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/9756/slide1jk.jpg censoriousdouchebag / June 24, 2012 To Internet,I demand you relinquish the cat to my charitable trust.Charles Carreon Esq. The Internet / June 25, 2012 The cat is even more difficult to ontrol than my army of minions. The last person that tried ended up as shredded salami. Meanwhile, one of my mininons (W. Ross) has made a motion to submit the term “Doe Hunt” to the Lexicon of Internet Law as follows:Doe Hunt (N)1) A bullshit legal tactic of filing a lawsuit with a large number of unnamed defendants, whom you will round up at a later date.2) The legal equivalent of slapping a banana clip filled with law into your litigation rifle, then aiming it at the Internet.Usage: “We’d better curb our free speech, guise. Charles Carreon’s filed a motion to Doe Hunt.”I would ask your opinion on the matter except that your opinion doesn’t matter. Santosh A Halper / June 26, 2012 If I was faced with a banana clip filled with law, I’d put my hands up and let the wielder mug me. I win in the end because the lawyer would probably spend the money on drugs and those would ruin his life.Is the is the correct way to respond when a lawyer tries to -rob- help you with law? censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 Yes. Always give the lawyer the money.2. censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 (Also I find it funny that not even I wanted to +1 or twitter this title lol)

13 Comments (Told you so.)

1. censoriousdouchebag / June 25, 2012 Thanks to an actual reader for the PDF file I used for this.2. censoriousdouchebag / June 25, 2012 Also that was the worse proofread post I’ve ever done, have updated to add things like “ing” and “ed” and spelling corrections.3. Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 You deleted your twitter (real Charles Carreon did)4. censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 It’s hard to be so loved by the internet. Thank You Charles for standing up for the ACS, thank you for saving bears. Thank you for saving me from Matthew Inman. I just got to many praises on twitter and had to leave. I had 4,000,000,000 followers, that’s like all of China, India and North America combined. (I suggest following either @chascarreon or @charlie_carrion. The latter is a zombie version who speaks perfect zombie in my opinion.) Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 You should read what your wife had to say about twitter =] http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... 8305#18305 Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 (I find your blog very funny keep it up!) censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 I told that bitch to shut the fuck up already…. god damn it. The only person making me look crazier than myself is my own fucking wife. (Thanks) Santosh A Halper / June 26, 2012 I do not think it’s appropriate to call your bitch a wife.5. themattscott / June 26, 2012 Charles- I want nothing more than to be included in your lawsuit. Seriously. Because you’re a vexatious twatwaffle and, as your blog title so eloquently states, a censorious douchebag. So please sue me, pretty please. Hugs and bear kisses,TMS censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 Your mouth is writing dinosaur checks but I have yet to see one live dinosaur delivered to me. I thought we settled this when I drew a dick on your face? I am so suing you for libel, slander, defamation, patent infringement, trademark infringement, and talking. I’m like that song “Say My Name” but instead YOU SHOULDN’T. I know you are part of the illuminati conspiracy, a cannibal kid, etc. I will Doe Hunt you to extinction. You got that? Why don’t you put on your big boy pants and go for a walk. You don’t know anything. I just want to save the money that Matthew Inman is going to take for himself. I deserve that money. I am a lawyer.6. Santosh A Halper / June 27, 2012 I don’t know who this W Ross character is, but he sounds handsome and well endowed! censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 Don’t tell Tara that… Santosh A Halper / June 27, 2012 Or your daughters, right? Wasn’t there a thing in the sex.com case where one dated your partner? (http://www.sexdotcom.info/story/people/ ... arreon.htm) I know you Carreons love the Tantra (http://www.american-buddha.com/tids.htm), so we should keep knowledge of this exceptional penis away from them.Also, I have flogged myself most grievously for posting those links with unflattering information.Your adopted son and future litigator,Santosh A Halper

6 Comments (A look back in time.)

1. Nibor / June 26, 2012 Wait you actually had a plan you shared with FJ, so you didn’t googled something and found this one year old dispute (of course not seeing it was already one year old, who would watch those time stamps) and thought this could pay the rent. Then going to the trademark office and found out that there was no trademark on FJ so you simply thrown a (afterwards wrong ) amount of money on the counter and secured the trademark for yourself (to later hand it over to FJ after you got the money from the Oatmeal).Then you took a letter you found on the internets, that seemed to fit this case and reedited it and send it to the Oatmeal and informed FJ at that moment what you have done, so FJ just had to sit back and await their check in the mail very soon. Really this wasn’t the way things have gone, remarkably you really had a plan ????????By the way:I don’t know if you already discovered the increase in your website traffic, you should really thank TC for her efforts in trying to get you more promoted on the internets.Maybe you should buy her some flowers, but don’t use that 2010 credit card you know why, maybe you could order the flowers online using your super-secret e-mail account and afterwards claim the costs as damages due to cyber vandalism (so you get to whoe TC and do so for free). censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 I like how you think about the damages… niborsypher / June 26, 2012 It seems I really suck at that sarcasm thing, I did not intent to give you idea’s, I tried mocking you, damm themattscott / June 26, 2012 Nibo- don’t worry buddy, this is a satirical Carreon (not the real guy). nibor / June 26, 2012 I know just trying to stay in character  themattscott / June 26, 2012 ah, crap! my bad!

31 Comments (All your domains are belong to me.)

1. niborsypher / June 26, 2012 So, you are actually suing yourself and are going to name yourself as Doe 2 when register.com names you as owner.But IANAL so the lager part of this letter is yebrisch to me, but I think I got that part right.2. Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 Keep on trollin Carrion!3. Dactyl / June 26, 2012 Looks like he unmasked you. censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 (I always intended to take a bow after the play, but prefer my mask stays on while I am in character) themattscott / June 26, 2012 Boo to Register.com for fucking up this one. I’m sure Ken (at popehat) will happily defend you, should you get that lovely knock at the door at any point. censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 This is why I need dinosaurs.4. Valerie O'Gilain / June 26, 2012 I do love the fact that, despite the fact that directly under the title of this blog title it says “a satirical blog about Charles Carreon” and there is a whole page explaining the joke and that you are not really Charles Carreon, and yet the real Charles Carreon is accusing you of “misleading” people.I really do think that by the time this is over he will be suing everyone in the known world. But then again, I am just a “devil reciting scripture.”http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=405. themattscott / June 26, 2012 “Take over my avenues of free speech”Wait… wait… wait… what? He’s complaining that you’re infringing on HIS free speech? Nucking Futz.6. niborsypher / June 26, 2012 I know I am the autistic one but you all zoomed in on the letter yes ???? (look at the logo) themattscott / June 26, 2012 I’m pretty sure that it’s a legitimate letter & SC (the person behind this site) added the comment re:the logo when blacking out Carreon’s contact info. niborsypher / June 26, 2012 Oke, my wrong then, I really thought it was a cleverly constructed hoax testmftest / June 26, 2012 Almost certainly legit – Tara has a post up saying they are going to sue fake websites:“And now there are two false Charles Carreon websites. And we’re going to have to sue them all. There are a lot of people just dying to be sued on this one. If you don’t have a lawyer in the family, I would recommend you start getting concerned about this now.”http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=407. Cosmic Changeling / June 26, 2012 Next step. Supeona Ars Technica for writing an article of his wife! censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 No, sue Ars. Everyone knows you sue first subpoena for facts later. This way you frame your debate then only “discover” relevant facts to your cause.8. Ann Bransom / June 26, 2012 Can i sue for having that logo inflicted on me a second time? censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 No. I can sue you for defamation of said logo. Let’s reach a quick settlement, how many dinosaurs do you have? Santosh A Halper / June 26, 2012 I want to be part of a Class Action here, as I too saw the logo. Except I want to be on your side. How about you take her dinosaurs, then we’ll ride them, then we’ll say they’re broken and make her pay us the retail price of them. But they won’t be broken so we can take that dinosaur money to the dinosaur store and we can get TWO more dinosaurs.But get this… we’ll take them out back and put them in our dinosaur trailer, right? Then we’ll take her dinosaurs, the used ones, and walk in and go “YOU GAVE US USED DINOSAURS!” and he’ll say “OK we’ll give you fellas 50% off.” But then when he reaches into the register we’ll both shoot the used dinosaurs then when he looks up we’ll have our guns put away and we’ll go “THEIR BRAINS EXPLODED! WE WANT TWO *NEW* DINOSAURS AND THAT MONEY FOR DAMAGES AND DRY CLEANING.”Then we’ll have four brand new dinosaurs and the important part is nobody got hurt that was us! censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 You are a sick and twisted individual. Can I adopt you? Santosh A Halper / June 26, 2012 Yes! I’m so happy! I’ll be such a good Carreon, so litigious and proud! I must get to work on my first battle rap! annbransom / June 26, 2012 http://data.whicdn.com/images/7074282/t ... _large.jpg censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 I consider this debt settled.9. Santosh A Halper / June 26, 2012 This is a brilliant strategy when combined with you’re wife’s “keep trolling them” strategy: Very good lawyering, my mentor! http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=50 censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 No we don’t troll, we are made of fire, we dragon! Santosh A Halper / June 26, 2012 It is the most powerful trolling in the world.10. Kristen / June 26, 2012 My hat goes off to you, sir. Please don’t fold under to these pieces-o-work. My dinosaur of thanks for being awesome will be going in the mail first thing (please notify me of preferred species ASAP). censoriousdouchebag / June 26, 2012 T-Rex all the way.11. thirdgeek / June 27, 2012 “Charles-Carreon.com is confusingly similar to iCall’s trademark or service mark.”What tortured logic. It’s clearly iCall who is misleading Internet users by using a name confusingly similar to Charles-Carreon.com; you should be suing them!

3. Cosmic Changeling / June 27, 2012 So we have snakes, how do goats fit into the equation? censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 Uh… my counsel has advised me to not speak of the goats… Cosmic Changeling / June 27, 2012 Answered my own question….dear god!http://www.american-buddha.com/mondo.mypetgoat.htm4. CarryOn / June 27, 2012 Commenting under fear that I will be named as defendant in this case.. censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 If you truly fear being named as a defendant please email me at satiricalcharles@gmail.com. I might be able to get you in contact with someone who can help. Cosmic Changeling / June 27, 2012 Mr. and Mrs. Carreon have no real power. They just throw whatever they can to try and get people to back down. And maybe I’m obsessed the past week or two reading most of the articles offered on the subject, reading Tara Carreon’s mind cramping rants, but I’m not scared of these people. We have freedom of speech. This is our American right, and two people cannot take it away. (Mrs. Carreon should do more research on the political views she throws on about with communism, facism and more)To prove my point, if the Carreons are reading this. I am not some anomynous internet user hiding being a fake name to say what I want to say. My name is Shannon Lynch. I live in Massachusetts and I go to Bridgewater State University. You can easilly contact me at slynch@student.bridgew.eduPeople on the internet are not afraid to say who they are when they say you are infringing on our rights. I comment and I support the Oatmeal, and the Dinosaur man that created a satirical diary.

8 Comments (I find myself at a loss for words.)

1. moo / June 27, 2012 I’m just curious…how do you feel about your wife staring at pictures of Matt Inman for hours at a time?http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... 8315#18315 censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 Like a T-Rex trying to pick up an apple. Cosmic Changeling / June 27, 2012 The wife wants a taste of steaming oatmeal of course! moo / June 27, 2012 Can you blame her for her desire to be the ground in which Matthew sows his wild oats? I cannot… Cosmic Changeling / June 27, 2012 Watch out Charles, Inman takes your name, your job, your dignity, and now your wife!2. censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 You people can take my name, but only I can take my dignity. Which oddly seems to be my course of action right now.3. Moxy / June 27, 2012 I love how this site has a T-Rex and the Petrodactyl on theoatmeal page was sited to be a threat against funnyjunk in the letter Douchebag sent Inman….Is the T-Rex and his pussy arms a threat againt Oatmeal??? The world wants to know Douche. censoriousdouchebag / June 27, 2012 The T-Rex shall rise and eat all my critics.

1. Ann Bransom / June 28, 2012 Sorry, Charles. We and Google Translate are “the power of the Internet education classes.”Copyright dispute evolution of personal attacksThe dream of the delivery person was released on 2012-06-14 21:54 Comments (1) 642 to read the original link [Favorite] «»Artist Matthew Inman original works (such as Cat vs the Internet) through its website, The Oatmeal. In 2011, on his blog to write an article, accusing another site FunnyJunk complete copy of the content he created, which is equivalent to the mirror of The Oatmeal. FunnyJunk not a small site, the PV of ten million. Inman said, this site is to rely on plagiarized content advertising profit, if someone claims to have the content of copyright, while users to upload the grounds of excuse.In early June of this year, The Oatmeal on behalf of Charles Carreon to send a lawyer’s letter, threatening to sue for libel damages of $ 20,000. Inman is extremely angry, he painted a caricature BearLove (women and Bear), and conduct online fund-raising activities. In just 64 minutes, he raised $ 20,000, has raised more than $ 160,000. His supporters from the Internet to find the Carreon contact information, send a sexual perversion comics to humiliate him. Carreon said he never expected that the cartoonist will set up a network forces to counterattack he had never seen him in this way to respond to legal threats, he did not want anyone to see his mother’s sexual perversion comic. He said that this was on the mob psychology and the power of the Internet education classes. censoriousdouchebag / June 28, 2012 See even in Asian they know the picture was sexually perverted. I knew it. Best article ever! I hope they don’t change the wording…2. Cosmic Changeling / June 28, 2012 You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to yourself. If you cannot afford yourself you will be privided for you.

1. censoriousdouchebag / June 28, 2012 (The idea from this post came from a reader. Thanks!)2. Cosmic Changeling / June 28, 2012 Carreon my Wayward son!3. Jess / June 29, 2012 Various procedures are available to test for the possibility that your luggage distribution model will be effective. Most applicable is the disturbance terms of a linear Carreon regression model which are auto-correlated in a first order process with a constant autoregressive coefficient. As seen specifically in a study I conducted with results from both Charles and Tara Carreon relating to the powers of two such tests, namely the Douchebag Lawyer, and the Censorious Ass-hat tests, when the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms is a function of one of the regressors. Charles and Tara are just such a case, the problems of autocorrelation and heteroskedasticity are intertwined. I was also able to report Monumental Explosive Asshatery results for an intuitive large sample “pterodactyl” test for autocorrelation which explicitly accounts for the variable nature of the autoregressive coefficient. Our “Carreon’d Ass-hat” results suggest that the Douchebag Lawyer, Censorious Ass-hat theorem as well as our proposed test all have very high detection rates even if both the sample size and the mean of the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms are small. If these two magnitudes are relatively large, all three of these tests seem to be quite effective in detecting autocorrelation – specifically that Charles Carreon = Censorious Douchebag Ass-hat. censoriousdouchebag / June 29, 2012 I am suing you. Here are my complaints to be filed.1. Physical suffering as you overloaded my brain with smart people talk.2. Defamation, as my brain feels stupid and it can only be through your words that this has happened.3. Trademark infringement, as you used my name numerous times in writing which has a theoretical damage limit of infinity.Remedies:1. You submit pictures for Tara’s art no smaller than 800×800.2. Deliver into the court’s holdings any domain names you own to be pointed at this blog at a later date.3. 3 Tyrannosaurus Rex hatchlings or one full grown Tyrannosaurs Rex.4. You may never put into writing, print, or imagery my name or likeness.5. You will write me a power ballad about how I will slay the Pterodactyl riding my Tyrannosaurus into battle.Awaiting Your Response,Charles Carreon Esq.4. Jess / June 29, 2012 Dear Charles Carreon, esq.It appears you may be suggesting that tests for autocorrelation which ignore the presence of heteroskedasticity may be more robust than tests for heteroskedasticity which ignore the presence of autocorrelation. I have evaluated two methods for estimating the parameters of the regression model which explicitly recognize the variable nature of the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms. One of these is a variation on a method suggested by using pterodactyls for the case in which the autoregressive coefficient of the disturbance terms is constant; the other is a method we have referred to as the “Ass-hat ” method. These methods were compared to the Censorious Douchebag method suggested by the EFF for the case in which the autoregressive arrogant lawyer coefficient is constant, and to the least squares procedure. Our results suggest that if the sample size, and the mean of the autoregressive coefficient are small, the least squares procedure of bat-shit crazy is as good as any of the methods we considered in terms of mean square errors. If, however, these magnitudes are relatively large, the results suggest that the modified douchebag and ass-hat procedures have lower mean square errors than the FU and FOAD methods, and these in turn have lower mean square errors than the least squares method. It appears, in this case, that imperfect adjustments for autocorrelation, which ignore heteroskedasticity, may be preferable to no adjustment at all. As with most Censorious Lawyer Ass-hat studies, our results are only suggestive of general conclusions. Clearly, further work relating to your many problems is needed. Or to respond to your request in legal terms you can understand “Bite Me”. censoriousdouchebag / June 29, 2012 Bite you? That my dear, are what the dinosaurs are for.5. Evil Supergenious / June 29, 2012 I understand that dinasour hide much like alligator hide is both tough and beautiful. It should make stellar luggage collection. The only challenge will be finding any actual live dinasours. But, much like finding a legitimate lawsuit, I am confident that will not stop you.6. themattscott / June 29, 2012 Best article yet! censoriousdouchebag / June 29, 2012 Thanks a dinoton(R).7. Sarah / June 29, 2012 I would be interested in helping to fund your new endeavor! Now that we have a class action lawsuit going against the local elementary school and the Red Cross, I will have some extra money to invest. This whole thing sounds like a win-win in my book. One thought- perhaps you should consider having this luggage sold by an online retailer. Critical reviews- or reviews of any sort- are far likelier with more exposure, and if the initial sales strategy falters this may become an important factor in this money-making enterprise. censoriousdouchebag / June 29, 2012 That is true, and sense I’m a White Hat Internet Attorney, no one will be able to oppose us!

3 Comments (What does it take to get in this family?)

1. Swindapa / June 30, 2012 Hey, why is your wife posting “background information” on the “Inman’s”? She’s a bigger douche than you’ll ever be. +5000 dinosaurs to her for being batshit crazy, and -infinitythousand dinosaurs to you for letting her drive the crazy train. You’re WAY crazier than her, Charles. She just writes the most god awful, boringist shit tha no one ever reads, whereas your inflict your brand of the clap on the entire judicial system. We know you’re crazier than her, Charles. Fix this little problem and go a little more batshit, please. http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=60 Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 I kinda hope someone calls her out on it. It’s disturbing. Swindapa / June 30, 2012 [Holy shit I made that first post after her first two posts, and the 'crazy' I was referring to was her being crazy-vindictive enough to post about her "enemies" mother and father. And then she really lathered on the crazyI apologize sincerely to Satirical Charles, and I'm giving him back his infinitythousand dinosaurs; no one can be crazier than this. Damn]

13 Comments (Know thy enemy.)

1. Swindapa / June 30, 2012 I’d just like to point this letter out, which is my favoritest thing Tara has ever written. It is trolling that can only be approached as ART.http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... c&start=10 Swindapa / June 30, 2012 /Does anybody see what I did there? Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 I wonder what Ralph Nadar thought when he read this. “These sort of people support me. I’m in a world gone mad! Down the rabbit hole I go.” Swindapa / June 30, 2012 My favorite part:“Third, when we were in Denver, we asked to obtain the email list for all Arizona Nader supporters, and were introduced to Nicole Brooks. She promised to provide us with a list. We emailed her several times, and she failed to ever send a list despite promising to send the list of “Southern Arizona supporters.” Ours were the only house parties held in the entire state of Arizona. Why she was hoarding the list is beyond my comprehension. Because she could not bring herself to part company with it, our parties attracted a total of two visitors, neither of whom were able to donate any money.”Although, come to think of it that might be Nadar’s fault. There might BE only two other Nadar supporters left in Arizona.2. Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 Tara just brought on a whole new level of crazy. Gamers beware, its levels beyond comprehention let alone beatable at this point3. Swindapa / June 30, 2012 “Supposedly, Bobby Ray Inman’s father owned a gas station, whatever that means.”Dafuq would it mean, besides the fact that he OWNED A GAS STATION. +5 dinosaurs to Gas Station owners, by way of consolation. You are the single group of people so boring, Tara can’t even figure out a sinister back story for you. Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 “And it’s also strange that a Thomas Inman and William Inman were theosophical writers of great importance. Are any of these people related to Matt Inman? His mother is obviously of the theosophical bent. William and Thomas Inman can’t be the “mystics” Ann refers to as being her ancestors, because her last name is her ex-husband’s name. What is Ann’s maiden name? Or is the theosophy thing on both sides of Matt’s family? That’s an interesting question. There’s lots of questions here that I’d like answered. I’ll keep seeing what I can come up with. ”She’s not even sure if these people are related to him and she’s posting this information. Trying to paint this crazed luny picture.No Dinosaurs for her. Swindapa / June 30, 2012 Indeed. There’s the famous Bobby Rae, born in 1931, who she seems convinced that Matt Inman has something to do with, because he was in naval intelligence (boat), Bobby Rae had only two sons, probably born in the 50′s, Thomas and William. Unfortunately, she claims above that Matt Inman’s father is named Clifford Vean. No matter, there is a William Inman that owned a shipping line (boat); unfortunately, that appears to have been in the mid 19th century, so obviously not the same man as William-the-son-of-Bobby-Rae. Then there are some Inmans that published in theosophy in the 20′s, too. What an fucking mess. A fucking sad and utter shambles of a mind, is what it is. If we find out that Clifford Vean was a fisherman (boat), we’re sunk for sure – it’ll be a naval conspiracy of nautical proportions. Witless Protection Program / June 30, 2012 Indeed, there is madness to her method. Swindapa / June 30, 2012 Indeed.4. Witless Protection Program / June 30, 2012 “I’ve been disturbed for some time[...]” The first few words of the first post I read over on Tara’s House of Nuts; I could have stopped there. Her recent posts on Matt Inman’s parents are downright scary, like she’s been watching Cape Fear for days on end, while drinking Red Bull out of a human skull and flicking kitchen matches at the cat. My apologies to Randy and Evi Quaid, to whom I compared Charles and Tara; next to the Carreons, the Quaids look like Ozzie and Harriet. censoriousdouchebag / June 30, 2012 “Her recent posts on Matt Inman’s parents are downright scary, like she’s been watching Cape Fear for days on end, while drinking Red Bull out of a human skull and flicking kitchen matches at the cat.” — Comedy Gold Star Swindapa / June 30, 2012 “I think that’s unfair to Ozzie and Harriet as well”, he said, invoking the transitive property of Tara Carreon comparisons.

10 Comments (It's all in the apostrophe.)

1. Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 The irony of her “worry” that Matt Inman is mentally disturbed….2. Lorien357 / June 30, 2012 What really struck me about some of her latest ramblings is how she really misread a comment at techdirt. Someone posted a variation on the “did glen Beck rape and murder…” meme. She seems to be taking it very seriously. I can, to an extent, forgive her ignorance of the internet. However, her husband is an “internet lawyer” and acquaintance of the lawyer (Randazza) who defended the site from Beck’s lawsuit. She seems to think herself clever by using what she perceives to be the logic of her husbands critics. She interpreted it as beck’s actual style of smearing as opposed to a satirical jab at beck’s style and a reference to another famous lawsuit about internet trademarks. (of which her husband should be versed)I do see the original reformulation of beck’s style to be off key in this case. A more fitting approach would be:Has Internet lawyer Charles Carreon read a book on internet case law (that he did not write himself) since the 1990′s ? Some people are claiming that his inability to recall important internet trademark rulings indicates he hasn’t actually read anything about internet law since the 1990′s. I disagree. I think he is well versed in internet law and would like to see him refute this claim. Because he is not refuting the claims that he has not read a book on internet case law written by someone else after the 1990′s he is allowing them to continue.3. Lorien357 / June 30, 2012 “OMG! IS THATJARED LOUGHNER SITTING ACROSS THE DINNER TABLE FROM MATT INMAN’S MOM?SINCE MATT HASN’T DENIED IT, WE HAVE TO ASSUME IT’S TRUE!MATT INMAN IS EATING DINNER WITH GABRIELLE GIFFORDS’ ASSASSIN!(Mimicking post on TechDirt about Charles raping a little girl.)”-nader librarythis is the specific point that I am referencing. She really is hitting this hard. Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 This is what happens when you don’t eat your Dinovitamens Witless Protection Program / June 30, 2012 And by “Dinovitamins” we mean “anti-psychotics.”4. themattscott / June 30, 2012 Really, Charles?! You’ve now (obviously) incited others to steal Dinos on your behalf. You should be ashamed of yourself. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/art ... 5a7d679c2f themattscott / June 30, 2012 Obviously the target (a gas station) was chosen because of Tara’s confusion regarding the secret meaning behind gas stations? Do they exist to horde dinosaurs? Do they hold the key to revealing the existence of dinosaurs among us? Are they an illuminati plot to destroy all dinosaurs, with this particular dino serving as a trophy of past kills?! Witless Protection Program / June 30, 2012 Whatever THAT means. Cosmic Changeling / June 30, 2012 Dinosaurs ride on Fossil Fuels of course! AF / July 2, 2012 Dinosaurs ARE fossil fuels … wow … it’s like soylent green, but with dynos!

3 Comments (I donate because I care.)

1. Cosmic Changeling / July 1, 2012 There are approximately 10,726 people in the United States with the last name Carreon. Only 82 of them have Charles as a first name too.http://howmanyofme.com/search/ censoriousdouchebag / July 1, 2012 Racist. They don’t count fictional representations of people.2. Lorien357 / July 1, 2012 http://www.american-buddha.com/fed.complalint.htmOut of curiosity, who one this one?

6 Comments (I write this from an undisclosed location.)

1. Witless Protection Program / July 1, 2012 “The Pope Hat Haters”You misspelled “Heaters.” censoriousdouchebag / July 1, 2012 Charles Carreon never misspells anything. Defamation.2. Adam Steinbaugh / July 1, 2012 …—… censoriousdouchebag / July 1, 2012 AHHHHHHHHHH!3. A Canadian / July 1, 2012 http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/209.html4. Evil Supegenious / July 1, 2012 Dear Charles, I just read the reply to your lawsuit by Indiegogo stating: “The simple reason for that is that there never was an emergency here, or any serious threat to anyone or anything. Carreon’s application is gamesmanship.”Well played sir. Let me know when you are up for a game of patty cake.

6 Comments (It hurts)

1. Cosmic Changeling / July 2, 2012 You owe all the defendants, and the internet, dinosaurs. A Canadian / July 2, 2012 And in order to obtain said dinosaurs, you’re going to sue Saddam Hussein’s ghost.http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/209.htmlRight? censoriousdouchebag / July 2, 2012 I keep trying to rock myself to sleep in my kiddie pool I call a bathtub, all I keep hearing is the vile laughter of the internet. Cosmic Changeling / July 2, 2012 The kiddie pool isn’t filled with your wife’s saliva from her drooling and foaming over the Popehat Illuminati is it?2. InAweOfCharlesCarreon / July 2, 2012 You’d think someone with a website called American Buddha might understand a little about karma, especially the instant internet variety.Karma’s a bitch, Mr. Carreon. But it doesn’t have to be…..I’m frankly in awe of the army you’ve raised against you – that’s some master class douchebaggery right there. Cosmic Changeling / July 2, 2012 The law only applies to Mr. Carreon. Karma only exists to benefit his crazy egoistic manner.

58 Comments (A break from character. Part 2.)

1. Lorien357 / July 2, 2012 I have a new personal hero. Just, wow.2. Lorien357 / July 2, 2012 Out of curiosity, if Mr. CarreonTM gets sanctioned/disbarred due to the Oatmeal debacle would he lose the ability to represent himself in this? I call that gravy. censoriousdouchebag / July 2, 2012 IANAL. However I believe anyone can choose to represent themselves unless found incompetent to do so. I could have chosen to represent myself, but Paul and Cathy are much better advocates than I could be for myself. Lorien357 / July 2, 2012 Well, I am sure there are plenty of people better suited to defending Mr. CarreonTM than himself. You just have the wisdom to see it.3. n o 0 n e / July 2, 2012 satirical charles,your defiance makes us proud.we know not who you are, but we shall ever remain in your debt.love from japan,$4. AnqeIicness / July 2, 2012 <35. TP181 / July 2, 2012 I love this so much, there aren’t words. Stay strong!6. Shannon Lynch / July 2, 2012 The man is unhinged and deranged. I’m sorry you have to deal with this sort of stress but you are incredibly strong standing your ground!7. flyingwarpigs2 / July 2, 2012 Yay! Way to go, Satirical Charles. All the dinosaurs are belong to you. censoriousdouchebag / July 2, 2012 <3 Dinosaurs.8. Sarah / July 2, 2012 As if we didn’t know it by now, that letter just proves it: Charles Carreon really is the world’s biggest a$$hat. Bravo to you, Satirical Charles, for standing up to him. It’s truly terrifying to see the way he is trying to stifle freedom of speech.9. Evil Supegenious / July 3, 2012 Even Evil Supergenious Lawyer is humbled by your courage.10. azteclady / July 3, 2012 We all know that CC’s douchebag censouriousness is not unique–there have been, and there will be, others who seek to silence their critics (even imaginary critics) by means of legal threats. In the future when I learn of any such instance, be sure I’ll point the victim of such intimidation to this site and to this post.Thank you for standing up for your rights, and as an inspiration.11. A Canadian / July 3, 2012 Wow.I honestly can’t believe this. It’s not like watching a train wreck – it’s more like watching a 48-hour, 12-versus-1 table tennis marathon. Back, and forth, and back, and forth…All I can really say here, Satirical Charles, is this: fight the good fight. I hope you win.Also, as a side note: http://adamsteinbaugh.com/2012/07/02/th ... ee-riches/ Swindapa / July 3, 2012 Holy shit. I saw these filings earlier today. This case has become way too entertaining. /moar popcorn please Shannon Lynch / July 3, 2012 Next up. Charles Carreon sues and supeonas Orvile Popcorn demanding that the increase of sales on popcorn is a defamation of his character brought by the Illuminati Cannibal children.Back you you Bob. Bob / July 4, 2012 IT’S SNOWING OUTSIDE.12. GL / July 3, 2012 Hopefully he loses his trademark to his name. Trademark was never meant to be used in such way and getting a Trademark on a surname is highly suspicious at best unless there is a context anyway.13. Swindapa / July 3, 2012 Satirical Charles:Thank you for knowing how to double down in dinosaurs. I know this is not an easy situation, and know that we – the denzins of the interwebs – thank you for doing something we have all wanted to do: take this douchebad head on. So thanks for putting yourself out there in the line of fire. I wish you the best of luck in stomping on this fool (only in the legal sense, of course).Thanks for being a bad ass, sir or madam.14. annbransom / July 3, 2012 You are not just standing up for yourself. You are standing up for bloggers, satirists, and critics everywhere. You have my full support and all my dinosaurs. Gadgy / July 3, 2012 You ain’t half bad yourself Ann, your fundraising campaign is a great way to keep turning the Carreon anger machine into something good. At the very beginning of all this, both this site and your blog inspired me to want to blog/criticize Carreon myself. However, I was too afraid of getting myself tangled up in all of this to actually follow through. In fact I am hesitant to post this comment in fear of incurring Tara’s wrath. The two of you are very brave and strong for standing up when I was too afraid. And if you need support from the internets to help you keep up the fight, let it be known. I would be happy to donate some money to help pay for the attorney fees (in case Carreon’s threat is followed through).Also, I am really surprised that you didn’t end up in some of Tara’s porn Ann. I guess Tara showed some restraint by not photo-shopping penises all over your face. Though questioning if you were really a “woman” probably didn’t feel that great.15. Kristen / July 3, 2012 This member of the puerile vituperative Internet youth thinks you rock! I’m glad you’re standing your ground. This guy truly is a monkey-spanking ass weasel. Here’s hoping the judge takes the time to fully appreciate his subtle threat to abuse the law to silence a critic (he’s apparently not a man of nuance).16. Delvan / July 3, 2012 Loved this blog from the day I saw it, I’m so glad you have good counsel to protect you from Carreon’s nonsense. Keep on the quality satire!17. Sandy Yoost / July 3, 2012 Fully behind you friend. Wonderful post- keep defending your rights.18. themattscott / July 3, 2012 You know, every time I get to thinking you couldn’t be any more awesome, you do something like this and top it. censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 You’re awesome for letting me draw a dick on your gravatar Everyone who has commented on this blog (all entries included) are awesome too. I just feel fortunate to not be posting material for only me to read on an ugly red background… Lorien357 / July 3, 2012 That sounds crazy, who would do that?…………………to be fair though, is she really posting on a site with no one reading at the moment. I know I get some chuckles from it daily. I know I am not the only one. As our window into the world that is Carreon, she is a popular nutter. Gadgy / July 3, 2012 I have been reading and re-reading that forum every day since the news dropped. I just can’t help myself, its too damn funny. So i am sure she is getting a crap-ton of hits and thinking that she has a serious readership.Also, I am really sad that others cannot comment. That forum would quickly turn into the most amazing flame war this side of pro-choice/pro-life debates. Witless Protection Program / July 3, 2012 Now, now…. Tara’s just been standing in her own goodness for a little too long. A nice cybersquat ought to clear her right out. Lorien357 / July 3, 2012 Are you volunteering to do “tara-carreon.com” in a similar style to this site. I, don’t have the energy to post as much as she does. Banana Phone / July 3, 2012 Tara already makes this site on her own.http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... &start=100I’m sorry, but she’s already satirizing herself. Tara needs no assistance. Witless Protection Program / July 3, 2012 The only way to make Tara look any crazier would be to repost her own words, unedited, in blinking text.19. Banana Phone / July 3, 2012 Doe #1, You’ve got a collect call from Internet Greatness…Will you accept the charges?20. Nibor Sypher / July 3, 2012 Good fight, hope the judge gives you an reasonable compensation for the work you are doing here.Hmmm, would that be considered income, so the site could become commercial after all ? Hmm nay it wouldn’t21. Nibor Sypher / July 3, 2012 Keep up the good fight, hope the judge gives you a reasonable compensation for the work you are doing here.Hmmm, would that be considered income, so the site could become commercial enterprise after all Hmmm, nay it wouldn’t, would it ?Sorry if this post appears twice, Me fingers verrrrry thick.22. DickNervous / July 3, 2012 *sniff*/bows down/chant “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy”/applause23. Tara's gay lover / July 3, 2012 I think the outpouring of funds to TheOatmeals appeal would be dwarfed by a fund to fight any case that Charlie decides to carry on with.I’m also sure that he would lose the case and then be liable for all the costs, so that raises the question…………which charities would get the funds when they were no longer required for legal defense?24. badvock / July 3, 2012 You fight the good fight CD, there are many of us across the pond in Blighty who are following these proceedings attentively and are rooting for you and all the others who seem to come under the shadow of Mr Carreon. Freedom of speech is a fight for all of us, regardless of nationality, creed or religious belief and I admire your tenacity and sheer bloody mindedness in standing up to schlock lawyers. Keep up the good work 25. Kristen / July 3, 2012 It has come to my attention that the phrase ‘monkey-spanking ass weasel’ that I pulled out of… um, somewhere… last night may be valuable.I hereby trademark the phrase and bestow it on satirical Charles to use as he sees fit.It’s not a T-Rex but I humbly hope you accept it as my meager contribution to your cause. Random Cartoonista / July 4, 2012 “monkey-spanking ass weasel” is truly a beauteous phrase. May others of us use it too, should circumstances warrant?26. T-Rex / July 3, 2012 This is downright beautiful!Interesting how Chuck & Tarfeather accuse everyone they disagree with as “Nazis”, yet they are guilty of widespread censorship, hate-mongering, and promoting violence. I would say they are the most guilty of anyone of “Nazi” acts.27. mike long / July 3, 2012 If, for any reason you need assistance to keep the domain going just shoot me an e-mail. I will pay for your hosting or even transfer the domain. Basically, you will NEVER HAVE TO WORRY about affording to keep the domain open. mike@mikedlong.com28. Mitchell Bowman / July 3, 2012 Keep on fighting the good fight, Doe #1.29. Random Cartoonista / July 4, 2012 Satirical C, good for you! You have my admiration and well-wishes!30. eksith / July 4, 2012 I see Register.com has the testicular fortitude of Verizon or AT&T when it comes to resisting tyranny by the courts.31. Oli Wright (@falo209) / July 4, 2012 This is an excellent piece. Just wanted to echo mike long’s sentiment above: I’m also happy to help with keeping this domain open should it no longer become financially viable for yourself (as I’m sure many others would be).32. Charles Carrion (@charlie_carrion) / July 10, 2012 Zombie Charles wish young Satirical Charles to know perseverance will be rewarded with army of undead dinosaurs in future. Will be helpful fending off roving bands of rabid litigators.33. Please don't Carry On, Charles / July 12, 2012 Carreon has proved once and for all that he truly is the embodiment of pure evil. Everything he gets involved in turns to shit. I guess we can thank his meritless, idiotic lawsuit against Inman, though, on behalf of cancer victims and wildlife, for displaying such douchbaggery has luckily brought out the best in others online.Charles is the allegory of all that is wrong with law in the United States and his wife is an allegory of all the shitty copyright breakers. Between them, they cover the entire spectrum of all that should not exist in the world but unfortunately does. They were the evil souls inside Pandora’s Box.To the Carreons, if ever you should read this. Admit that you lost, please. Show us some sign you have some form of a soul still remaining. And once that’s done, please retreat to an island directly over an active volcano until it erupts. Delvan Neville / July 12, 2012 Hey now, the last thing we want to do is send them to ruin Hawaii too. Perhaps we can get them a ride to meet Willzyx on the moon?

4 Comments (Donna Barstow)

1. Adam Steinbaugh / July 3, 2012 P.s., if you Google me, please remember that there are two Charles Carreons. I’m the other one.2. Charles Carreon IV / July 3, 2012 Donna,Listen to Charles. I have licensed my name and it only cost me two cows, a Brahma and a Holstein (T-Rex food). After another payment of an Angus and a White Face I’m going to start sub licensing my name. Soon I’ll have my very own velociraptor!Peace,Charles Carreon IV.the other other charles3. themattscott / July 3, 2012 Charles- I would like to remind you that *you* did not win the sex.com case. You simply kept it alive long enough for a competent lawyer to come in and win the case after you client asked you to kindly GTFO (I recall something about you wanting to light incense in court and your client sleeping with one of your daughters). You seem to have a bad memory of this incident. censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 What is your license plate number, I have a bag full of cats hyped up on redbull just for you.

14 Comments (Wait a Second here ...)

1. lowestofthekeys / July 3, 2012 Charles Carreon, I like your tabasco…I nominate you for overlord of the world.2. jeff / July 3, 2012 http://www.quickmeme.com/Charles-Carreon/?upcoming3. Lorien357 / July 3, 2012 I must apologize. I have no dinosaurs on me currently. I do have a fiji mermaid and a two dozen orang pendaks. If it will appease your mighty legal rage you may have them.Also, if your wife is suffering hand cramps from all those penises she has been drawing I volunteer to take up the slack. I cannot match her artistic vision, but I am willing to carry on.4. Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 Hey, Chuckles… Aren’t you violating your own trademark by not including ™ after every mention of your own name on this site?E.G., when signing your name, isn’t “Charles Carreon Esq.” a violation of your own trademark, needing you to sue yourself? In order to protect yourself from a baseless lawsuit from yourself, you should probably sign your name in these posts as “Charles Carreon, Attorney and Dinosaur Fucker ™”. censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 I see you speak with logic and sense. When did Matthew Inman hire you to try and subvert my comments section? Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 He didn’t. Rather, I just paid attention in science, logic, and reasoning.Mostly because, some day, I wanna be that guy, putting on a cowboy hat and riding a cloned T-Rex:http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2125 censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 I am suing that website for all information they have on cloning dinosaurs. n o 0 n e / July 4, 2012 sue for time machines also. you know, just in case.http://www.loadingartist.com/2011/08/08/time-machine/5. Sandy Yoost / July 3, 2012 I feel the need to express my disquiet over the use of various nicknames for the Carreons. For Charles I have seen:CarrionChuckChulckesCharlieChuckieUpChuckFor Tara I have seen:TarfeatherTerrorI think this is unnecessary and in fact counterproductive. This is actually the objectification and vilification that Mr. Carreon is claiming, and done by we who seem to feel superior to the Carreons. It makes us look bad, and I think we should start referring to them by their proper names. Point of fact, Satirical Charles does not use these terms, yet his commentary is all the more biting because of it.These two jokers don’t need our help to look like fools. And we shouldn’t be feeding them any ammunition.6. Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 Actually, at this point, I want Chuckles to experience the full Hustler v Falwell level of inane butt-hurt. Yes, its purile and juvenile. But it is constitutionally protected purile and juvenile, and thats the whole point. He can always wash down his butt-hurt with a glass of Campari… Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 Especially since Charles Carreon ™, with his TRO, attempted to infringe on my personal free speech rights. Its not just abstract “gotta protect the 1st Amendment” (which I’m all for anyway), but I gave $50 to BearLove specifically because:1) Should Charles attempt to disrupt the delivery of the money, I could say that under his logic, I now have standing. But, unlike Charles, I won’t spend $350 to file a case over $10, so its only theoretical standing.2) I really really want to see the photograph, and wanted it to be as big a pile of money as possible.Charles’s TRO both effectively put words in my mouth, claiming to represent my interest as a contributor, AND, by attempting to disrupt the transfer of money, disrupting MY free speech rights in spending MY money on an art project I support.So the real Charles Carreon, Douchebag Attorney and Dinosaur Fucker ™ deserves the maximum legal contempt that court history and court cases allow.7. I Eat U! / July 3, 2012 ♥ I wuv u! ♥8. Witless Protection Program / July 3, 2012 “If my demands are not met, I will make further youtube videos, force feed red bull to cats and release them in your parked cars, and sue you for suing me.”I see what you did there, Charles – well done!9. Evil Supegenious / July 3, 2012 Charles, I see my problem. My original plan was 13 steps, which upon reflection is an unlucky #. I need to pare the prior plan I shared with you here http://charles-carreon.com/2012/06/18/w ... /#comments down to 10 steps or even better six. This will be much easier to keep track off and far easier to replicate your failure, I mean success.

4 Comments (Charles Carreon vs. the Illuminati)

1. MK / July 3, 2012 So you’re not a looker then?2. Mike / July 4, 2012 I think you should have won that misconduct case of 2005 – everyone should have known that you were securing a residential lease in order to establish another base of operations to fight the invasion of the body snatchers. I mean, we all know that they’re out there!It’s a setback, but I do hope in all sincerity that it hasn’t impeded your other efforts to prove that Bigfoot was actually the result of genetic experiments in 1901 that had gone awry.Keep the faith, Brother Invigilator! Your efforts will be rewarded upon the day of Alpha Centauri Rapture, and your ascendancy to the High Galactic Court will be closer to fruition!Yours in Glorious Cameraderie,Kal-El censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 You have touched me in a way that I can’t point to on a doll. Why does my chest feel so different? I appreciate your support in my fight against the Secret Under. Mike / July 4, 2012 Speaking of being touched, the Overlords are not terribly happy with your wife Tarandfeather’s actions as of late – you might want to whisper a discreet message about the video cameras, or increase the dosage.My audience with fellow Invigilators awaits, I shall be in contact soon.Hail to the Glorious Soldiers of Truth!

25 Comments (Oops)

1. A Canadian / July 3, 2012 Wow.I’m mildly surprised that this actually happened. I guess the turning point was when someone decided to sue you. censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 Apparently people don’t just give you money when you send them a scary letter. I am baffled by this. I blame the Illuminati, Nazis, Mafia, CIA, FBI, and NSA. (Never blame the IRS, those guys will ptero you a new asshole for real)2. Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 Oh come on Charles. You know this is just a tactical ploy, and you’ll both go “Hey, look, I made Inman respect charity! I ROCK, IM THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD”, and, well, 2 years from now, dust it off and refile. censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 STOP USING MY DENTAL FILLINGS TO READ MY MIND!3. pathgirl / July 3, 2012 I am surprised it seems there is an unfried brain cell under all that frizzy dyed hair somewhere. Color me impressed and kinda scared.4. Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 Its not your dental fillings. The RF interefence from the interphase compensators is too much for the algorithmic matrix to handle.Its far easier to just read them off your tinfoil hat… censoriousdouchebag / July 3, 2012 Wait. What? No… They advertised this hat as being thought reading proof. I am suing! Does anyone know how I can serve papers to that homeless man down on 3rd street? He moves around a lot Nicholas Weaver / July 3, 2012 Hire a good process server. I thought you have 2 or 3 on speed dial for when you want your letters to have Extra Intimidation Factor. censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 That would be a great financial hardship on me. Nicholas Weaver / July 4, 2012 You could always talk to Mike out of Albuquerque. His main boss is now gone, and he has done good work for Saul Goodman in the past.And in general, he’s a good one to help you break into the field if you want to become a criminal attorney. Spyder / July 4, 2012 Just follow the trail of T-Rex droppings…. AF / July 4, 2012 Lol I read the “I am suing! Does anyone…” as “I am suing Does!…”5. Wil / July 4, 2012 We are disappointed in your wife’s lack of a response, seeing as all of this was engineered by the shadowy figures behind Lohner and Obama to goad Inman into reacting the way he did, so that we could get the final answer to the universe from Tara. She was close to revealing it…you can’t back down now!6. A Canadian / July 4, 2012 Question: Is there any truth to this?http://www.popehat.com/2012/07/03/oatme ... s-lawsuit/ (see: “Second, Bizarre Update”)http://www.popehat.com/wp-content/uploa ... plaint.pdf (the supposed lawsuit by Inman) censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 I hope not! My god they are coming at me from all sides. TARA CIRCLE THE WAGONS! (Author Note: Probably not the real Inman)7. Shannon Lynch / July 4, 2012 I eagerly await your wife’s well composed, thought provoking, responses.8. Drink / July 4, 2012 You would have gotten away with it too, if not for those pesky kids!9. Paul L. Randazzeraza / July 4, 2012 My most respectacled and bedearestest Mr. Carreon – Charles, if I may be so bold…I know being loyal to one another is of the highest priority in your closely-knit family. So the topic that I am going to raise is a sensitive one; I realize that to fullest. But it is also a serious and urgent one. Seriously urgent.Let me get straight to the point: I fear for your life. Your lovable, mild-mannered wife has put both her faith in and all her energy behind you, to do what only truly loving and cordially-non-Delilah-like wives do, and do best: To empower you to stand up to and fight the grave injustices that have been piled upon your innocent shoulders by CommuNazi Inmaniacs. She has even taken unpaid leave of her senses to stand by your side, mentally unencumbered and pure.With the utmost urgency and in all seriousness, I must alert you to the possibility that she will be so devastated by your voluntary dismissal, that she will feel the need to stop you from what she might perceive as you dismantling the hero status you have so rightfully attained in her view.She might have to take steps. Lock away your guns and cutlery, sleep with one eye open or do what I do: Before I go to bed, I paint googly eyes on my John Lennon glasses (the best of fortunes have already bestowed a pair onto you) and hope I don’t get ‘Phil Hartman’-ed. Surely, the circumstances are of a different nature. But you have been disloyal and betrayed her trust by not pursuing this all the way to the Intergalactic Council, consuming all your wife’s willfully given resources to render her a mental martyr. You stole her chance at giving you the greatest gift.And you know your wife is a vindictive nutjob.Increasingly yours,Paul Randazzeraza, non-esq. censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 I told her we won. Witless Protection Program / July 4, 2012 Well done Charles, you famous, notorious bastard! Paul L. Randazzeraza / July 4, 2012 Well played, sir! I respectfully bow before your superior intellect, for only an intellect that superior could come up with such a simple solution for such an urgently serious threat.Also, winning by dismissing, to litigate without litigation? Who else could’ve pulled this of. Or out of. Something.G’Bye!10. Frost / July 4, 2012 [GLaDOS voice:]“This was a triumph.I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.Carreon LawsuitsWe sue who we mustbecause we can.For the good of all of us.Except the ones who are dead.”11. Shannon Lynch / July 4, 2012 So you told Ars Technica you dropped the lawsuit because you won. wait whaaaa? censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 Tara reads Ars, so I couldn’t have her finding out the Illuminati won. Last time I lost a case she almost dug my eyes out in my sleep with a broken crayola marker.12. John / July 4, 2012 Bro what the fuck? You’re going to back down now? What are you? Some sort of pussy? Does your wife know about it?

1. Shannon Lynch / July 4, 2012 So you put your wife and twto daughters to cyber attacks and troll tomfoolery which drove your wife to further insanity and your kids to blow up on twitter….for….alright then Octomom.2. Charles Carreon IV / July 4, 2012 Now that you’ve dropped the suit, what will you do to get dinosaurs? I was hoping to ride on your coat tails so I could have a velociraptor.Charles Carreon IVthe other other charles. censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 Well California Law is so large… there’s got to be something there. Also I still will be pursuing my legal actions against Paul Levy, Cathy Gellis, and Ken “The Illuminati Master” White. pathgirl / July 5, 2012 maybe you could sue the illuminati? I mean to show you a well grounded guy sticking to rational causes, rather than tilting at windmills, of course.plus I have all this popcorn

7 Comments (A question)

1. Witless Protection Program / July 4, 2012 I’ll bet SharpWriter would be happy to let you use this image for the Ask Charles section: http://sharpwriter.deviantart.com/art/R ... -312025579 censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 Wow, enter my new desktop wallpaper. Doofio / July 4, 2012 Who’s ‘Wow’ and why should he enter your wallaper? And, doooode, screw the Bavarians… all they wanna do is yodel and suck each others Weisswurst. censoriousdouchebag / July 4, 2012 http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/texts/illuminati.html2. Wombat Felcher / July 5, 2012 Charles,Someone posted this about Laywers in general. Should you sue?There was once a lawyer named Rex,who was small in the parts used in sex,When charged with exposure,He replied, with composure,“De minimus non curat lex.” censoriousdouchebag / July 5, 2012 I mean… it’s true for me…3. pablo4200 / July 7, 2012 I voted for the third option because I’d really like a dinosaur. YOU OWE ME!!!

22 Comments (From the director's chair)

1. Adam Steinbaugh / July 5, 2012 Hooray! I get to be my own first client!As an aside, my client is an IDIOT.2. azteclady / July 5, 2012 George Washington, I presume? azteclady / July 5, 2012 (did I screw up the link?) let’s see…George Washington, I presume3. Jess / July 5, 2012 Well if you are going to sue me you’ll need to serve me. To assist you, I’ve provided my number and address for service below.1313 Disappointment Rd.Norgood CO 814231-800-bite-mee censoriousdouchebag / July 6, 2012 Going to send a process server now.4. Witless Protection Program / July 5, 2012 No cannibals? I was promised cannibals! Charles Carreon IV / July 6, 2012 What about velociraptors? Got to have velociraptors.Charlesthe other other Charles censoriousdouchebag / July 6, 2012 They are the cannibals, and velociraptors are hard to train. Very stubborn and free willed. Charles Carreon IV / July 6, 2012 Wow you’re right about velociraptors. I googled training them and found this on answers.yahoo.com:They tend to be a very independent breed, which can make it a lot harder to housebreak them.However, don’t mistake their stubborness for stupidness! They are very intelligent and can learn many things with proper motivation. Have you tried crate training? This usually works, but it can be hard to not only find a large enough crate, but also a strong enough one. They tend to resist cages and crates, so you’ll want to make sure that you get a good strong steel barred crate.Another thing to consider is, have you gotten him neutered? Velociraptors are very prone to having dominance and marking issues, especially if they have hatched too early. You’ll want to see a specialist to get that done, which should help somewhat with marking in the house.Anyway, good luck with the potty-training, and just be glad you didn’t get a Deinonychus – largerbody, larger waste!Charlesthe other other charles Xzibit / July 8, 2012 Yo dawg, I heard you like Charles Carreons, so I put a Charles Carreon in your Charles Carreon so you can sue while you sue!5. Joe Pullen / July 6, 2012 Whoo hooo the moose is loose. I’m not getting sued! censoriousdouchebag / July 6, 2012 I don’t like moose.6. Nibor Sypher / July 6, 2012 Didn’t I say I do not want to be in the system (see the about section of this blog) mann now I really got to delete my identity, being named in the attachments of a lawsuit that doesn’t personaly involves me (which only entertains me), is one thing but being threatened to be the objective in/with such a lawsuit is a totally other thing.I commencing the deleting of my identity when I dare to come out of the corner, where I am now crawled into quivering, mumbling comforting sounds and rocking back and forth out of pure fear.(Please serve the papers yourself and give me a heads-up when you coming over, so I can buy you a souvenir to take back with you to the US, like an inflatable dinosaur with wooden shoes and a delft’s blue windmill between his teeth)7. tekno723 / July 6, 2012 Dear Charles,I wanted to read more about your Psycho Santa movie, and respond to your lovely wife Tara, in hopes that I could play the role of Santa (I already have a grey beard, and am working on the Beer-belly).Unfortunately, it seems that Tara’s democratic forum can only be posted to by – um – Tara, are you able to help?Thank you!PS – someone should tell Tara that the particular photo she’s chosen makes her look a bit crazy. Oh – and so do her posts.8. Nicholas Weaver / July 6, 2012 I’m only 9th? After all the beer money I spent on PACER digging up Charles Carreon’s history of abusive Pro Se lawsuits and tossing them onto RECAP for all to see and I only get NINTH!?! I coulda gotten myself a nice pony keg for the amount I spent shoving public records online…I woulda hoped that ensuring that a Pro Se litigant’s abusive history was forever immortalized in the public records would get me into the top 5, because, you know, reporting on the public record is defamatory, and trademark violation, and copyright violation and stuff…Oh, and Charles, you forgot Doe 2, Doe 3, Doe Pi, Doe E, Doe Ray Me, etc… Nicholas Weaver / July 6, 2012 Oh, and Bambi’s mom.You do realize that, in California, standard deer tags are only for bucks, not does, right? censoriousdouchebag / July 6, 2012 You didn’t use my name enough to crack the top 5. Trademark infringement and all. Tara is actively keeping count.9. W Ross / July 7, 2012 I noticed Tara was sweet on me, and I had a question. Could I pay off me settlement in sessions of tender, yet naughty love making? I promise to give it like 20-30% tops so I don’t ruin her for you, but I don’t have a lot of cash due to a persistent narcotics problem. Oh, I guess I could pay you in narcotics, also.Get back to me when you have time, Tara has my number.10. W Ross / July 7, 2012 I noticed Tara was sweet on me, and I had a question. Could I pay off me settlement in sessions of tender, yet naughty love making? I promise to give it like 20-30% tops so I don’t ruin her for you, but I don’t have a lot of cash due to a persistent narcotics problem. Oh, I guess I could pay you in narcotics, also.Get back to me when you have time, Tara has my number. willrosswriter / July 7, 2012 My apologies for the double post. Please let me know how much in monetary damages the second post has caused you, plus billable hours, plus pain and suffering and mail it to my people. We’ll figure out how much I owe you and get things settled, as is good and proper.11. geekmouse / July 7, 2012 http://www.rapeutation.com — you call this a movie? censoriousdouchebag / July 7, 2012 It took Tara and I 4 days of nonstop work to make that. I call it a masterpiece

3 Comments (Democracy!)

1. Brendan / July 7, 2012 Holy shit, you have to see this!http://rapeutation.com/2. Swindapa / July 7, 2012 You’re part of the distributed rapeutational assault against CC, you know.http://rapeutation.com/3. censoriousdouchebag / July 7, 2012 I am highly offended that he would describe people making fun of him as the same thing as rape. Like dude has hit a new low on the sensitivity scale.

5 Comments (Rapeutation)

1. Witless Protection Program / July 7, 2012 Dear Charles,When Tara compared you to John Lennon, I thought she’d hit bottom. When she called all of your many detractors nazis, cannibals and latent mass murderers, I was sure *that* was the bottom. But you two just keep digging, like Deepwater Horizon, discovering rich new deposits of douchebaggery. Calling your self-propelled public humiliation rape? Brilliant!Keep eating all of those clothespins, Charles – it’s working for you.Sincerely,Joan Jett2. lorien357 / July 9, 2012 The site is currently down. I hope it stays that way. Trying to gain sympathy by comparing your pain to that of a rape victim is tasteless. lorien357 / July 9, 2012 Sadly, it looks like they are just working on the site. “Rapeutation” is now in spooky, dripping letters. Everytime i think Carreon can’t be more tasteless he proves me wrong. Has he realized that his own childish behavior is why I belive him to be a terrible lawyer.3. Albert Wang / July 10, 2012 How does that amount of crazy work between two people? The “lyrics” to their “music video” make no sense as does their website. I’m not so sure what Charles Carreon and family intend to do other than PROVE to everyone else how utterly insane they are. I mean, this man comes off as insane and he is still practicing law. His wife comes off as insane too. I’m not going to slam the rest of his family, but I do want to mention that his only son is dead. Died in 2007. This may have possibly cranked up the “crazy” of this esquire.

2 Comments (Oh no, she bought more ammo ...)

1. Swindapa / July 8, 2012 Posted at Nadar library now:“Another time Robert Anton Wilson (Uncle Bob) sent two of his goons to visit us: Eddy Nix and his beautiful “friend.” Besides wanting to have sex with us, Eddy Nix (an Illuminati name) wanted to get Charles to help jack a rich Buddhist heiress named Mimi Hohenberg out of 5 million.”Why the fuck did she memory-hole the earlier post about the CIA? The one that is up there now seems to follow in sequence from the deleted one: “Actually, a few times they DID identify themselves…”http://www.naderlibrary.com/bulletin_bo ... &start=100 censoriousdouchebag / July 8, 2012 She thinks if she formats the paragraph differently she’ll be able to communicate her real intentions. As far as I can tell, no one can understand “BLU ARG HUMINITY NAZI BLAH BUM ILLUMINATI”

2 Comments (Be Heard Part 2)

1. Be Heard 1 / July 9, 2012 I have moved well past being scared. I have been debating starting my own blog or being more active here. I agree that we should stand up to them. censoriousdouchebag / July 9, 2012 If you do let me know and I’ll add it to the blogroll. I am glad you commented.

11 Comments (Bang?)

1. Swindapa / July 9, 2012 This is beginning to have that surreal quality normally associated with watching a suicide on chat roulette. She’s amping up the crazy. You *say* you’re out doing dinolitigation all day, Charles. But I think you’re just driving around all day, pretending to be at work. When will you file again? Will it be for divorce, this time? censoriousdouchebag / July 9, 2012 No, first I file for a TRO. Then divorce. You got to think through your actions man. I learned that from uh… last week.2. lorien357 / July 9, 2012 So she thinks yelling at the internet is:1. intimidating2. useful…. Aside from sexist cartoons and crying rape I am curious what she thinks she can actually offer the world? And fyi, if you have a locked forum where you shout at people you are not debating. I love how much they have to control what is said about them.3. Witless Protection Program / July 9, 2012 Before you file anything, make a reservation for a hotel room. In another state. Under an assumed name. One that Tara can’t guess easily. censoriousdouchebag / July 9, 2012 Carl Jung maybe? lorien357 / July 9, 2012 I can’t tell what is satire and what she intends. I think some of this stuff is “satire”. Then you get this and i wonder if their forum was hacked or if she had a break down. and i’f advise Chas Addams. She’ll never think of that. censoriousdouchebag / July 9, 2012 Think “A Beautiful Mind” without the penchant for math. lorien357 / July 9, 2012 Yeah, more than likely. I googled that Chamberlin guy she babbled about. He was a German nationalist philosopher pre-WWII. So our secret is still nazis? She really is just spreading poo on the walls for her own amusement at this point. Reading anything she writes involves a save and sanity loss.4. Shannon Lynch / July 9, 2012 Maybe your wife just wants a Big Bang Theory viewing party with you and all the Nader supporters that showed up last time.5. lowestofthekeys / July 9, 2012 Charles, I think you need to change your focus for this dinolitigation.I’m not saying that dinosaurs being brought back is a bad thing, but if you are going to resurrect them, do it in style:http://www.10mfh.com/wp-content/uploads ... riders.jpg censoriousdouchebag / July 9, 2012 Please provide me with all genetic samples of said dinosaurs and technical schematics for their armor before I sue.

9 Comments (How many times do I have to win?)

1. Allen Garvin / July 10, 2012 Mr. Inman claims to have raised “$211,223.04,” and yet, in the third photo from the top (http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/ ... ney/fu.jpg) you can clearly see that there are 6 distinct coins laying out. This is just like in that story ‘The Gift of the Magi’ (http://ateacherswrites.wordpress.com/20 ... -the-magi/). The only way the 6-photographed coins would make sense is if it consists of 2 one-cent coins, and 4 half-cents (not minted since 1857, which is, suspiciously, the last date the last surviving wild dinosaur was slaughtered in north America, as most scholars refuse to believe the wild stories of T-Rexes battling union troops during the civil war http://io9.com/5084491/the-alternate-hi ... -civil-war). I fear Inman has made a fatal mistake here, which fully warrants re-opening the federal case against him. Fraud involving coins may prompt the Treasury Department/Secret Service to get involved as well.2. T-RexLives / July 10, 2012 “Do you think this letter will make me look strong to Tara?”Only if you remove the genital cuff she attached to you, and if you hold the letter while dressed up like Rosie O’Donnell in a Nazi uniform. With fur glued to your chest.BTW, your middle name isn’t ‘Ruprecht’, is it??3. lowestofthekeys / July 10, 2012 Mister Carreon!…that representation of your meat ferret is disingenuous of the true amount of hair garnering your fleshy pink beanbag.Tara told me so.4. Charles Carrion (@charlie_carrion) / July 10, 2012 Zombie Charles urge young Charles not try so hard for Tara. Maybe look strong now, but eventually, Zombie Tara just think young Charles look delicious. censoriousdouchebag / July 10, 2012 I knew I should have never told her to “bite me” back in the 90′s.5. Nicholas Weaver / July 10, 2012 You need to be as Winning as Charlie Sheen! You’re not there yet, but on the right track censoriousdouchebag / July 10, 2012 I want to be a White Hat Internet Lawyer version of a Charlies Sheen / DJ Khaled love child.6. The Crafty Polymath / July 10, 2012 My first thought when I saw this picture was “YES! I have ‘Mrowwy Night’ on my wall, too!” Not sure exactly what that says about me…or the crudely drawn penis. Oh, wait, that isn’t drawn? Oops.7. BaNooner / July 13, 2012 I don’t want here to make fun of you either.

5 Comments (I have a dream)

1. Shannon Lynch / July 11, 2012 I weeped tears of joy.2. albertraccoon / July 11, 2012 Well, I knew you were a Lawpoet, but not a warrior poet.3. A Canadian / July 11, 2012 Yeah, I believe you now have the right to sue the Chicago Tribune.http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nati ... 6081.story censoriousdouchebag / July 11, 2012 Those bastards tried to steal my speech? Dinosaurs! They owe me dinosaurs!4. lowestofthekeys / July 11, 2012 This poem touched my heart…and stirred within me a passionate fire to help you succeed in whatever it is you are doing.Mister Carreon…you have my bow.

5 Comments (Viva La Raza!)

1. Shannon Lynch / July 11, 2012 I got a shattered foot, which is mostly metal and I need crutches to walk. I think that’s an even match.YOUR ON!2. lowestofthekeys / July 11, 2012 Is there going to be any nudity with this mud wrestling? censoriousdouchebag / July 11, 2012 If by nudity you mean roving packs of velociraptors, then yes. lowestofthekeys / July 11, 2012 Carreon, cloning dinosaurs is one thing, but NUDE DINOSAURS?!I think you’ve gone mad with power.3. azteclady / July 12, 2012 He is as Mexican as I am an Anglo Saxon male.

6 Comments (I am an expert because I say so)

1. Nicholas Weaver / July 11, 2012 Oh, this case was Global Innovations, Inc. et al v. ALS Scan, Inc. et alFrom what I can tell, there was going to be a suit in Maryland against Global Innovations, to which Charles & his client filed a case in California. Charles’s case was dismissed due to lack of jurisdiction.The suit in Maryland, where EVERYONE was based, was alleging that Global Innovations (Chuckle’s client) was doing DMCA shell games: setting up tons of adult sites and, when a DMCA complaint came in, remove the image from one such site and move it to another.So what does the Great Charles Carreon, Legal Eagle ™ do? RUN to the courthouse in California to file a suit seeking Declaratory Relief.Oh, and a GREAT strategy Charles:Far from being worried, Mr. Carreon stated that he was pleased that negotiations had not proved successful because it allowed him to “bond with [his] clients and get more money out of them.” (Declaration of ROBERT L. LOMBARDO)OTOH, opposing council seems cut from the Charles Carreon School of Law: Call the other guy’s parents and threaten with a RICO suit.Hey Charles, could you scan the attachments for amusement value. censoriousdouchebag / July 12, 2012 More to come soon.2. Nicholas Weaver / July 12, 2012 AH, more lessons from Charles Carreon ™ in the proper practice of law: That complaint is great1) Don’t let conflict of interest stop you from filing a harassing suit2) Don’t forget, if you are going to accuse someone of practicing law without a license (when everything the person says includes “I am not a lawyer”), it helps to work with them first.3. Elegy / July 12, 2012 Satirical Charles, I have conceived a master plan:1. Now that Douchebag Charles has outed you, surf over to your blog and post a comment (what a douche bag).2. Incite you to sue Douchebag Charles for defamation, as your blog now has a comment in it, whereas he is clearly defaming you by saying that there are no comments there.3. ???4. Dinosaurs!However, upon mature reflection I realized that you would probably REALLY like to keep Carreon out of your personal projects, so I posted this Carreon-related post here.I have, however, bookmarked your “personal blog”. Someone as cool as you deserves to have readers, and I hope to leave non-Carreon related comments in the future. (please feel free to moderate or remove this post should you feel the need) censoriousdouchebag / July 12, 2012 He’s making fun of a blog I created, used for 4 days and decided I wasn’t very good at desktop wallpapers. Not really hurting my feelings there. I could even delete those pages if it really bothered me. I’ll leave them up so he thinks he’s gotten me, wink wink, nudge nudge. Thank you for your kind wishes though. I will probably create a “real” blog at some time soon, as I didn’t know before now how much I enjoyed writing.4. Carly Rae Jepsen Esq MD / July 12, 2012 I just met you.And this is crazy.But you’re a douchebag!Sue me, maybe?All the other boys.DMCA me.But you’re a fuck towel!Sue me, maybe?Before you came into our lives we were so bored…We were so bored!We were so so bored…..

8 Comments (Did I ever tell you about the time ...)

1. pathgirl / July 12, 2012 Why always insist on payment in dinosaurs? The illuminati prefer ponies, fire breathing ponies that fort rainbows and glitter. Have you tried a pony? Has Tara tried a pony (wait don’t answer that I really don’t want to be scared for life)? Satirical Charles / July 12, 2012 Dinosaurs > Ponies fyi.2. KidKarolus / July 12, 2012 Having read this, it disgusts me to no end that you would post the personal information of a Jon Doe in a public forum. That said, your ‘rapeutation’ website is only serves to mock and and deride you for your continued insanity and unfiltered bullshit.Congratulations! You are officially the most public figure of general scorn imaginable. Momma would be proud.3. Nicholas Weaver / July 12, 2012 Actually, charles, you should make it a habit of being paid in laptops you take from your clients, not dinosaurs. After all, you yourself said “As a practical matter, it would probably make sense to have me retain the laptop, which has a market value of around $650 US, accoridng to current bids on 700MHz Acer laptops on eBay.com, and the content, which may have a few hundred dollars of retail value, and I will write off the outstanding bill for services.”4. Allen C / July 12, 2012 This all suddenly becomes clear. When Carreon worked for Sweet Entertainment (a Canadian company) he finalized a lawsuit against an American company that has stolen some of Sweet’s media.He takes the money and puts it in a trust. He was not supposed to do this, his orders were to deliver it to Sweet Entertainment. Instead he sticks it into a trust. He then withdraws some of the money for personal needs (his condo in Vancouver). Suddenly the whole “I want to put Inman’s money in a trust” makes a lot of sense. Scroll down to the telephone memo by Lynn Bey-Roode for sourcing on this. The condo and trust are on page 3.5. Charles Carreon IV / July 12, 2012 I’ve been DICKed! So has my wife. People all over the internet are making fun of our postings on psychotic-hippy.com and batshit-crazy-buddha.com. This Distributed Internet Collaborative Kick-down [DICK] is causing my wife, Tarda, and myself great emotional distress. Not to mention these terroristic CIA operatives taking the Carreon name in vain. Will you sue them for us. We want velociraptors. Tarda wants to ride one. I figure why not, she been ridden by most everything else on the planet.Charles Carreon IVthe other other Charles lorien357 / July 12, 2012 So, Mr. TM is actually posting people’s information publicly and seems to be putting pressure on the employers (or at least mentioning them) for all three people he named. I think he might be getting close to wildly tresspassing into dangerous legal territory. Keep up the good work SC. Oh, and he can’t read a tos for crap (photobucket, register.com, indiegogo). Excellent internet skills. Wonder how long until he sues photobucket.

4 Comments (I am not a hypocrite)

1. tootie / July 13, 2012 Lordy Chas! I wish you’d stop. I come here for a few minutes of respite from the work I should be doing and I end up spurting tea through my nose because I’m laughing so hard. Now my boss is going to find out I’m reading about carrion and not doing my job. Oh wait I am my boss – get to work bitch!!!!2. Shannon Lynch / July 13, 2012 The Oatmeal gave you faulty crayons. It all makes sense now!3. eric / July 14, 2012 What I really like about this supidity of it is, that he linked to other websites, that I was un- aware of, and now will start reading. Hes a gift that keeps on giving, in a wierd, creepy and mentaly ill way.

3 Comments (A cave. A Man. A cloning machine)

1. albertraccoon / July 14, 2012 You do realize that with expressions such as ‘weapons grade plutonium’, ‘centrifuges’ and ‘sporks’, you’re most likely to attract the attention of ECHELON, right? Especially the ‘sporks’ part.2. Evil Supergenious Lawyer / July 14, 2012 Charles, I am hoping I can help you stockpile some food and you can help me by taking about 100 lbs of zucchini off of me. Mrs. Evil Supergenious planted too many and I am eating zucchini’s till they come out of my ears. I am sick of zucchini – I don’t care how nutritious they are. Maybe you can use them to feed some livestock that would be meals for your new T-Rex. They could also make for excellent targt practice. Also, I have a centrifuge I could lend you along with a weapons grade detonator but unfortunately I left it in my other secret lair inside the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. The Dragons have very nasty tempers and I am still missing my eyebrows from my last encounter

4 Comments (Captain Obvious is obviously ...)

1. wowshanban / July 15, 2012 The dinosaurs with the lazers, epicness of epic dino pictures? It was a tv showhttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 152AApWE7a2. Jess / July 15, 2012 Well Charles, if at first you don’t suceed, keep flushing. Satirical Charles / July 16, 2012 Stop hacking my comment section.3. tootie / July 16, 2012 Would you please tell Tara that Douglas Adams is dead. And, he wasn’t trying to be anyone’s hero. And he didn’t write “the movie,” he wrote 4 little remarkable books.By the way. . . . . .Charles – why do I only get to comment on a parody site? Why oh why can’t I say anything at American Buddha or Nader Library. How will you know if Ralph wants to talk to you?

10 Comments (Get Dave!)

1. wowshanban / July 17, 2012 Stephen King vs. Charles CarreonKing is sueing for trademark enfringement for the use of “dear readers” and/or “fellow reader”Now that’s two lawsuits against you, sir, including the one with the mysterious John Doe. Satirical Charles / July 17, 2012 What is he a king of anyways? NOTHING. He better dismiss his case before I win and seek attorney fees. Or he better have a few Tyrannosaurus Rex laying around. wowshanban / July 17, 2012 He’s more of a dragon person actually.2. Allen C / July 17, 2012 Tara actually seemed to be coming down off her rage high until Oat’s packaged arrived. It provoked a whole new disjointed storm of rambling. My favorite part is after all the Carreon whining and crying about internet hordes being sent to attack them, they don’t bother to censor the addresses on the package. I know the address was out there before, but come on… Also they need to work on their yard and pool. The yard looks horrible in both Bing anf Google maps. The pool is an unseemly shade of green in the Bing maps photo. Satirical Charles / July 17, 2012 I will be suing Google Maps and Bing Maps to take more flattering pictures of my pool. Elegy / July 17, 2012 Yeah, you should sue and make them replace the image of your house with Streisand’s house. That’ll show them.3. Nicholas Weaver / July 17, 2012 Hey charles, since Inman’s mailing is intended for your client care of you, shouldn’t you open it? Just saying, because you are like an attorney and all… Satirical Charles / July 17, 2012 Matthew Inman is part of the mafia, had I accepted his package I could be prosecuted under the RICO Act.

5 Comments (Dave Thomas Writes In)

1. albertraccoon / July 17, 2012 Who would have known that Dave Fulton is the man on the blurred picture called ‘Dave.Felton.blur_.jpg’? albertraccoon / July 18, 2012 *Felton2. wowshanban / July 18, 2012 Hey I just met you, but you look crazy, so don’t carreon maybe?3. annbransom / July 18, 2012 Dave wins 1,000,000 dinosaurs for $20,000 asking price.4. albertraccoon / July 18, 2012 Hey, Chas, congratulations on your new ad campaign!

4 Comments (Be Heard III)

1. tootie / July 18, 2012 Hi Richard,I like your picture and I appreciate the fact that you tried to contact Charles to tell him that you were concerned that his actions would bring him no good.I too did the same thing. We even had some correspondence. I don’t think that he will put my email in his “hatemail” page because of the way we interacted, but I could be totally wrong since several of the emails on that page were pretty nice.You seem to be a sweet young man, and since we can’t post on the Rapeutation-y site, I just wanted to tell you not to be frustrated by this man’s actions. Sometimes this is what people do. They don’t address the fact that they acted like a twit, they just get pissed because everyone tells them that they acted like a twit.And remember that bad thinks can come from this. As funny as it all seems over at the NaderLibrary site right now, I really do worry about this mans wife. She is twirling like a top and this stress is obviously not good for her. Go read the information on Wikipedia about Chas and think how hard is was when she lost a child who was older than you look to be.None of us has all the answers, but we all have the ability to have empathy.You cannot help these people by keeping them from doing what they are doing. They are going to do just what they want to do. But you can hold love in you heart and tell yourself, “There but for the grace of the gods, go I.”2. Shannon / July 18, 2012 Hey Richard!I’m #24 of the 28 letters Mr. Carreon has posted so far. If you read it, you will see I was simply looking for a reasonable explanation of the FunnyJunk situation. Yes, I was also trying to be a bit cheeky, but the whole thing was becoming laughable. Mr. Inman was doing his best to get out of a bad situation and since I enjoy his work I felt the need to offer my support. What harm could come of writing a letter? Like Tootie, I was looking for some sort of response, however brief would have been fine.When I was notified today that rather than respond to my email Mr. Carreon had instead posted it on the Internet for the world to see, I had mixed emotions. I sent that email knowing full well that he could do with it whatever he pleased. But to post it on a site called “RAPEutationists” and to include my full name, city of residence and the email address I have had for business and personal use for over 15 years? Come on! And this supposed new “legal term” he suggests is so extremely offensive. Where in my letter did I write anything to suggest this sort of truly ugly response? It also appears that he plans on “outing” each one of us “rapeutationists” on his website. To save time, here is what you get if you Google my name. Some positive comments I made after attending a medical billing seminar ten years ago were widely published by the seminar sponsor. There are some adorable pictures of my dog Bill on Facebook but I would have to “Friend” you for you to see them. I am one of five hosts for my high school’s 30 year class reunion this September. Go Pirates!Luckily, I’m a big girl and can spot a bully a mile away. Over the past years, I’ve developed my own blend of religion, a mix I call “Catholic Karma.” I truly believe that what you put out into the Universe is what will come back to you. If you don’t want it to bite you in the butt, be nice. It’s that simple! None of us are perfect and we are given a new chance every day to live a good and kind life. I quote the great Justin Timberlake when I say, “What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.” If you are reading this Mr. Carreon, give it a try. It’s a nice way to live.3. annbransom / July 18, 2012 This letter renewed my hope for the future.4. wowshanban / July 18, 2012 Most of the letters on the Rapeutation site that were categorized as ‘hatemail’ were not. Most were people trying to reach out to Mr. Carreon. Yes, there were some horrible ones, but putting you and the other people in that ‘hate’ category wasn’t right and just made Mr. Carreon look more like a child having a tantrum.The only thing I can say is that Mr. Carreon will get what he deserves in one form or the other. Karma is just builing like a snowball effect for him. But who knows, he’ll just blame the internet mafia and General Oats for what happpened instead of taking responsibility.But Tootie makes a good point. Tara did lose a son, but Charles lost a son too. No matter how many years passed that family loss will never go away and I sympathize whole heartedly with them. It doesn’t excuse any of their behavior but it helps understand a flavor of it? It that makes any sense.

1 Comment (Goodbye)

1. anonanurse / July 21, 2012 I cannot begin to express my gratitude. I have seen some responses to this which made me question the decency of humanity. Thank you for making such a compassionate and heartfelt post.

1 Comment (The conspiracy continues)

1. Frost / July 22, 2012 I notice that Tara’s shifted into high gear, again, suggesting on her naderibrary.com site that your chosen nemesis, Matt Inman, is secretly being paid by the FBI to draw his cartoons. And what’s with the dangling, unreferenced mention of Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content? Has she even slept, in the past month? Or are the Tyrannosaurs in the back yard corral keeping her up, again? Charles, you really should take better care of her.

4 Comments (WordPress is part of the Nazi conspiracy)

1. tekno723 / July 23, 2012 Charles, that is so outrageous. You should definitely sue WordPress.com – they owe you at least $20000 and 2 T-rex. Seriously, how dare they suppress your free speach. It’s not like they are a successful internet lawyer, or something….2. lowestofthekeys / July 23, 2012 Charles, I have a feeling that these dinosaurs, wordpress, open source and illumnati are all part of a grand conspiracy to use Denver International Airport to transport droves of reptilian invaders to our doorstep.Now is the time to act… Satirical Charles / July 23, 2012 What they don’t know is that we know they know we know they know we know they know. lowestofthekeys / July 23, 2012 Touche’ Mister Carreon, touche’

1 Comment (Be Heard V)

1. wowshanban / July 26, 2012 His latest is mental disorders and personally it is aggrivating as hell.He’s taking the idea of cyberbullying and saying you have a mental disease if you do it, and if you are a victim of it, a mental disorder as well. Speaking as a family member who lives with someone with a mental disorder I’m outraged Carreon has taken his buthurt to this level making the stigma for mental disorders worse than it already it is.But I won’t stress out and “carreon” about it.

3 Comments (SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs)

1. wowshanban / July 27, 2012 The voices in my head tell me your crazy, so if they are truth…well then…oh and Dr. Sues wants to notify you that you are under trademark infringement with the Smishes and Smids. He’s looking for an attorney to sue to protect his copyright2. Evil Supergenious Lawyer / July 29, 2012 If a smurf suffered from SMISH and couldn’t breath? What color would he turn? Satirical Charles / July 29, 2012 Humans turn blue so Smurfs turn human colored.

1 Comment (All charity is scam. AKA Relinquish your money to I)

1. Satirical Tara / July 29, 2012 This post is brilliantly written, Charles, in as much as that is possible for a man, but you left out the part about Matthew Inman fornicating with beast-thief-Hellmonkeys in a cesspool of rotten cerebro-spinal lava.

1 Comment (Guest Blog!)

1. wowshanban / August 1, 2012 You talk a lot about Communism, but have you actually read the Communist Manifesto? (i don’t know if the real TC has read it just made me wonoder)

4 Comments (The People Rise Up!)

1. lowestofthekeys / August 1, 2012 Is there a way we can save money by using poor people as Prius fuel?2. VPJ / August 2, 2012 @lowest. You could, but you’d have to cut down so many trees for firewood in order to render enough poor person oil that you’d lose all the shade. Not to mention losing the privacy buffer that the trees provide, keeping the poor people from peeking into our humble solidarity abode.3. Evil Supergenious Lawyer / August 2, 2012 Perhaps the sweat from their hard labor could water your many trees.4. Satirical Charles / August 2, 2012 Poor people eat a lot of fast food, so they should be abundant in oil…

2 Comments (Guest Post II (Reposted)

1. Valerie / August 9, 2012 You need to up the crazy in this post – she is now sharing her creepy, maternal revenge fantasies about spanking the “soft and tender ass[es]” of the good people at Popehat, including our good friend Angus, who she also calls out for being an advocate for Jung, Cato the elder, and the ability to procreate without women. Also some new poetry from peace loving Chuckles that advocating killing nihilists and using black hole vacuum cleaners that digest your wife.2. tootie / August 11, 2012 Valerie is right SC. She was truly crazed this last Friday. Poor thing! Sarcastically Charles I must ask you, because I can’t read through all of her posts, why is it we are we Illuminati, again? I’m sorry, I’ll try to pay better attention from now on.

1 Comment (Ken the lawyer)

1. VPJ / August 10, 2012 He also has lead-based paint for hair. That can’t be good.

1 Comment (I am running for President)

1. Sheogorath / August 26, 2012 Hey there, Charlie! You know what? You should also make cybersquatting on sites that are in use a crime. Maybe then you’ll actually get some money out of that douchebag who registered your name as a domain name for the purposes of parody, even when you eventually drop the case because you don’t care how much it costs you, as long as it costs the other side more.

1 Comment (Travis Tygart and Kickbacll)

1. wowshanban / August 24, 2012 yeah, but this douche actually WON not withdrew his lawsuit and claimed victory =P

3 Comments (Matthew Inman has raised 1 million dollars)

1. lowestofthekeys / August 30, 2012 Charles, be careful…the title of that book sounds like an up and coming Cinemax late night show.2. marc / September 4, 2012 dude, give it up. The majority of the internet has forgotten about C.C. and his wife. Let it go and do something useful with your entertainment time.3. wowshanban / September 6, 2012 @marcit may seem silly and pointless to an outsider, but satirical charles was threatened legally to pull this website down and silence his speech. It is not a matter of harping on something, but rather defending his right to write whatever he wants. If Carreon didn’t threaten him with charges in the six figures and more I bet you Satirical Charles WOULD have let this die. Now he can’t. It is a matter of principle. I’m not even sure how this lawsuit is going but I wish the writer the best and I support the blog no matter how it goes.in good faith,Shan Ban

11 Comments (This is how I thug)

1. Molnar / September 6, 2012 Fight the good fight, sir. I can offer you little but moral support, but you may have that in quantity.2. annonymoosee / September 6, 2012 What does Chris’s employer have to do with anything? Does he really think Chris would use a Walgreens company computer to set up or run the parody site? Would Walgreens even care? Oh yeah, I forgot Charles is the same guy that was accused of using a work laptop for personal use and letting his family have access to it. So I guess if Charles is unethical enough to do that he assumes everyone else is as well.3. AlphaCentauri / September 6, 2012 I’m surprised he didn’t ask Walgreens to preserve record of all database inquiries into the Carreon family medication history, since he assumes unethical behavior of everyone.4. azteclady / September 7, 2012 I would say that he can’t stoop any lower…but asshats like him have a knack for finding ways of becoming fouler as time goes on.I’m sorry you have to deal with his thuggery.5. John Smith / September 8, 2012 I would have thought Walgreens would jump at the opportunity to make some easy buck$ by filing a counter suit for the value of the “nuisance” plus a nice hefty “and don’t do it again!” penalty.Judges love to rule hard on lawyers who act like cunts.6. tootie / September 9, 2012 I worked at Walgreens nearly forty years ago when I was 16 and they were a scrappy group of folks from Chicago. I hope Chucky Carreon is aware of the big bull he’s thrown a red flag at. Particularly after the lawyer from the EFF has a little conversation with the Walgreens lawyer.It’s weird isn’t it, every time he strikes he comes up with a false premise then runs and jumps on it. “Chris is using Walgreens equipment so I get to pull Walgreens into my little fray and maybe hurt him that way.”Don’t you know the judge is going to get very cranky about this bull….Hey, on the other hand, he continues to draw attention to himself and he is almost as funny as Clint Eastwood yelling at an empty chair.7. DeMarco Fishpower / September 11, 2012 Charles, you misspelled immediately on your cover sheet. That’s like -2 thug points right there.8. Nicholas Weaver / September 11, 2012 You forgot #7 and #8#7: Don’t bother filing a reply, and wait for the other side to move for a default judgment.#8: Bankruptcy. After all, its nice being judgment proof in a state with a large enough homestead exemption. Anyway, the second time is always easier.9. Satirical Charles / September 13, 2012 I don’t know of any lawsuit Mr. Weaver. How can I reply when I’ve only heard of it through certain “channels?” Nicholas Weaver / September 14, 2012 Ah, you don’t know anything about “Doe v Carreon, UCDC N.D.Cal C 12-03435 NC”?Then you must have a super EXTRA super secret thug-ability! Wow!

1 Comment (My letter to my new guest post author!)

1. Zombie Charles / September 17, 2012 Zombie Charles say you should focus on hiring of more zombies. They don’t cost much since they are already dead – after all who else will take a dead end job. Only downside is cleaning staff upset with cleaning up dead zombie parts that fall off.You can check it out at ZombieHire.com which is a professional staffing agency that specialises in the placement of authentic zombie temp staff. Zombie are particularly skilled at working with T-Rex since if T-Rex eat them it doesn’t matter since they dead anyway.

1. Nicholas Weaver / October 19, 2012 I’ll airdrop you supplies. Wrapped in this bit of paper I have here… 2. Tali McPike / October 19, 2012 Maybe we could get that trained Nazi fighting dinosaur to serve him…it would be the last thing he would expect.3. tootie / October 20, 2012 I had wondered what had made Tara STFU. Little did I know the Carreon family had their own special rock to hide under.4. marc / October 23, 2012 Tell the process server to hang out at the Sky Bar on Wednesdays in Tuscon. The Carreons (the real ones) like to hang out there and terrorize the paying customers during open-mike night. Tali McPike / October 23, 2012 And by “terrorize” do you mean subject them to performances of Pterodactyl Killa? marc / October 23, 2012 Worse. I mean with stuff like this on their Nader Library forums:http://anonymouse.org/cgi-bin/anon-www. ... e6796b7b6c Tali McPike / October 27, 2012 Oh God.

3 Comments (Guest Post "United Against Ken Popehat")

1. Jay Aitch / November 3, 2012 Love it! But, *site, not sight satiricaltakedownlawyer / November 3, 2012 Careful, Jay…I feel like you might be insulting my intelligence there. I would watch your step, or you could end up being named in my defamation suit. Satirical Charles / November 3, 2012 We are totally naming Jay in the defamation suit!

6 Comments (Ghastly Enemies At The Gate)

1. Nicholas Weaver / November 27, 2012 Oh, and worse! Now that evil Paul Levy is trying to collect attorneys fees in conjunction with the cost of service! http://www.archive.org/download/gov.usc ... 1.32.0.pdfOhh noooez! Satirical Charles / November 27, 2012 Joke’s on Paul. All I have is some pocket lint, 14 dried macaroni, some left over tin foil, and 1987 Oregon Ducks hat.2. satiricaltakedownlawyer / November 27, 2012 Charles, I have sent you a secret Communique via Messenger Zombie Kitten. But just in case the Popehate Illuminati intercept it, I have posted it to my blog. Look for the ping-back, because if I link it here it will go through the Spam Filters, and we all know those are under the control of the Illuminati Conspiracy. Satirical Charles / November 27, 2012 I thank you for your continued support, I agree with the majority of your points. However I wanted to know if you were successful in making a hybrid Dave Thomas / Thomas Paine clone yet? satiricaltakedownlawyer / November 27, 2012 Not yet. The DNA didnt hold up so well after Sandy hit New York, so I am trying to re-construct the DNA. I do however have a successful Andy Griffith ready to go…

Comment (I have triumphed!)

1. Nicholas Weaver / December 19, 2012 Wow, victory! I must admire your grand legal strategy of delay, delay, delay, then fold. It costs your opponents tons of time writing motions, responses, responses to motions, yet it ends just before you end up having to pay the costs of your delay, delay, delay strategy. It worked for Toyota. It worked for debt collectors. It worked here. (Too bad Penguin isn’t playing along…)I especially love the idea of ducking service as a lawyer. Thats just genius. It probably violates CA Bar ethics standard, but genius.I’m just disappointed I never got to see your arguments claiming that California is the wrong venue to sue you in because you have no actual connection to the state, being a resident of Arizona and all.

1. Ollie / March 21, 2013 I’ve heard the “For the children” plea before but…. for the taco bells? That completely changes my perspective. Satirical Charles / March 22, 2013 Ollie, as I surmised. This is typical of generation “me.” Tell them it’s for their children and they don’t care, but as soon as their tasty grease laden beef products are threatened, there is an uproar.

2 Comments (Litigation Playwriting)

1. mykitsmom / March 23, 2013 I like the way you phrased that: Levy retained the Gripesite Operator as a client. What do you suppose Levy paid the Gripesite Operator? Enquiring minds want to know. Do you think Levy and the Gripesite Operator might be involved in dinosaur cloning themselves, planning to go into competition with you?2. Satirical Tara / March 26, 2013 Charles – please pick up some paste on your way home from the Jurasic DNA repository.

4 Comments (Zounds! I am undone!)

1. Witless Protection Program / April 13, 2013 Careful not to show too much weakness, Charles – you know what that does to Tara.(And congrats on your victory, dude – you were due!)2. Mr. Potter / April 13, 2013 $46,100.25, not $45,100.25. Satirical Charles / April 13, 2013 Sssh. I was trying to confuse them and save myself a grand!3. azteclady / April 15, 2013 *discreetly throwing confetti**leaves a couple of stacks of popcorn*(because we know it’s not the end, by a long chalk)

So send me your questions (satiricalcharles@gmail.com) and I’ll reply to them as Charles Carreon in posts when I get enough. This will be a regular section on this blog and you can ask really about anything. Try not to be too lewd though, it makes me uncomfortable thinking about Mr. Carreon that way. Seriously. I get kind of sick.

I know some people are afraid. I am not saying you shouldn’t be as there have been implicit threats against bloggers by the Carreon clan. I will publish anything you have to say under whatever pen name you so choose. I will not let them censor you. We all deserve a voice.

Help me help Charles Carreon. Even though I think he is a censorious douchebag, he still deserves his own right to free speech. We cannot stop censors by becoming censors ourselves. Tell Photobuck.com to refund his membership fee and make their objectional content terms of service more clear. Everyone, no matter how distasteful their speech is, is entitled to freedom of expression.

The author of this blog recommends you waste your time in these places:

The Oatmeal

Bears

Bear Food

Popehat’s take on the current lawsuit

Charmander

ArsTechnica

The Dawg Dish

How I see the Carreon Clan

The Google of Science

Disclaimer. I am not the owner/creator of the below site/song. I receive no compensation if you choose to download the song. Unfortunately this needs to be said due to circumstances found here. I just thought you might like the song. The story behind it is amazing. If the Charles Carreons of the world are getting you down, give it a listen.

Got a case of censorious douchebaggery I should know about? Just go on and email me at satiricalcharles@gmail.com and I’ll do the rest. I am always looking for new material to relate into my blogs. I would love to find some local news that might not be getting mainstream media attention. Remember, we parody censorship every day at charles-carreon.com.