Lamar Odom Checks Into Rehab, Or Doesn’t

Kris Jenner and the Kardashian publicity team is spinning misinformation on Lamar Odom so fast the tabloids can’t even keep up. According to Kris Jenner, a.k.a. ‘anonymous source’, ‘friend of the couple’ or ‘knowledgeable insider with an ass that smells like Rhino cheese’, Lamar is a crack addicted whore monger who has stained the immaculate Wookie virgin known as Khloe. The goal of these leaks is to shape the story that Khloe is a victimized saint and Lamar is an out of control black pipe fiend. According to People magazine and their unnamed source, Lamar has given up the drugs to enter rehab. According to TMZ, Lamar has not checked into rehab but is merely still missing from his marital treehouse. Kris Jenner has both outlets on her secreted labia phone speed dial so hard to say which one she’s feeding her lies to today. For her part, a distempered Khloe has chewed through nearly two-thirds of the Teflon bars on her sleeping crate putting the entire Jurassic Park on a code yellow status.