Barton: Capitol kind of love

Thursday’s Savannah-Chatham Day at the State Capitol, the annual Chamber of Commerce-organized event that has a well-deserved reputation for the best seafood bash of the legislative session, featured some verbal shucking by a few bigwigs.

Like Mark Williams. He’s commissioner of the state Department of Natural Resources. That’s the state agency that oversees Georgia’s public rivers, among other important assets that are supposed to belong to citizens.

One of the biggest issues in this part of Georgia has been the Ogeechee River, site of the worst fish kill in the state’s history in 2011 and a source of continuing concern about industrial pollution.

Williams didn’t address it on his own. Instead, he was more interested in sharing the love among members of the governing class in Atlanta. “I love all your senators and state representatives,” the former House member from Jesup said.

I asked him about the fish kill and the pollution in the Ogeechee. He responded — correctly — that his department isn’t responsible for issuing permits that allow industries like King America Finishing to discharge wastewater into rivers. That’s the job of the state Environmental Protection Division, headed by Jud Turner, an appointee of the governor.

“We feel good that the river is safe now,” Williams told the group. At least there was one person in the room who felt that way. I’d score it a nine out of 10 on the shuck-o-meter.

But he and others get a perfect 10 on lovey-doveyness. It’s as if the Chatham County legislative delegation gets together every day and sings “Kumbaya” with Gov. Nathan Deal and members of his administration, Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle, the state’s constitutional officers and House Speaker David Ralston. They did everything Thursday except blow kisses.

Williams was one of at least 16 speakers (but not Jud Turner) who held court before several hundred visiting Chathamites in a packed committee room. This heaping helping of gab was more than enough to induce snoozing, permit ample opportunities to check iPhones and insure the average person’s hind parts would eventually go numb.

There was a reason the hands on the large clock on the wall were frozen at 12:44. This was one place where time didn’t march on.

Then again, this venue wasn’t where members of the local and state power structures did their serious (and interesting) talking. That took place out of earshot.

But a few speakers were semi-considerate. They tossed a few news bits before oysters and shrimp were served and the bar was opened. For example:

• Want a hot job? Consider becoming a long-haul truck driver. Or go into nursing or early childhood education. Thank the governor for this tip.

• Georgians can rest easy about the health of Lt. Gov. Cagle. He seems to have miraculously recovered from the back injury that sidelined him from the governor’s race a few years ago. He worked the crowd like a born-again politician. “I don’t want to be Alabama,” Cagle said. Funny, I didn’t know this was an option.

• The Great Seal of Georgia has two sides. There’s the side that appears on the state’s flag — the one with the arches and the words “wisdom, justice and moderation” — and an opposite side that features a sailing ship with cotton and tobacco, a man plowing a field and the words “agriculture and commerce.” Except that’s the real front side. This factoid came from Agriculture Commissioner Gary Black.

But let’s hope Joe Marinelli, who heads Visit Savannah, was heard. He was genuinely constructive, pointing out to state Department of Transportation Commissioner Ken Golden that the I-95/I-16 interchange needs lights. Amen and hallelujah. To have these two major corridors intersect in total darkness at night is an embarrassment.

That’s why Ann Purcell, the former House lawmaker from Rincon, should be elected to the state DOT board. She’s running for this district’s DOT seat on Wednesday. Lawmakers from this region (all 24 for them) will pick the winner. Let’s hope a majority spares some love for her, so this area can get better roads. I don’t want to be Alabama, either.

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I can't believe Ton Barton wrote that line with a straight face! Of course he's the fellow who recently wrote, "When you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas." Robber barons cuddling up with for sale politicians and journalists - Chatham Day is a perfect title. Good work again Tom.

If you want the real lowdown on what went on under the gold dome in Atlanta during Cheat'em in Chatham Day, just take a look at the photos of Tom Barton and Van Johnson arm in arm like some sort of latter day Amos 'n Andy. Tom Barton has no bidness putting his arm around Van Johnson, who should rightfully be a subject in a series of editorials about do-nothing clowncil members. The whole idea behind Chatham Day-- during which a contingency of Savannahians throw a party for lawmakers (a legal bribe, sort of) as if they otherwise pay no attention to us-- is repugnant to me. If Savannah didn't have a port, the governor couldn't find us with a road map, MapQuest and a GPS.