Love and Since

Summary:
After NM. Bella was married to a werewolf. She had a baby. And then, she was bitten by Laurent. What happens seventy years later? What would they do when they meet up in a school? How would Edward handle another singer? Drama. R&R please! Rating T plus.

Notes:

3. Chapter two ? Bella?s story, part two

Uncontrollably, I sobbed. For the first time in years, I let out the feelings that I had buried long ago. My baby’s life was cut short, that hurt. But the way she was brutally murdered killed. As if reminding me, that memory which I had been doing all I can to repress appeared.

He smiled at me ruthlessly, and then spoke patiently. “Oh, beautiful you will give me what I want. If not you know the consequence will be worse. I ain’t worried about that. But what I’m going to do will give me satisfaction I haven’t had for twenty years.”

He raised my girl high, and then drop/slammed her into the ground. He kicked her little body, and she slammed into the wall.

By this point I was screaming hysterically. I tried to calm down, tried to think logically about what I should do. But I couldn’t. I dropped to the ground, still screaming, and tried to get to my girl. However, all I could manage was crawling on all fours.

“SHUT UP BITCH!” The man roared, his patience finally ran out. He kicked me hard and then he dragged me by my hair to another room.

End flashback.

Sobbing even harder, I found the hatred for my ‘gift’ doubled. I hated how I could remember everything crystal clear. How can God be so cruel?

“Who was that piece of shit?” Emmett snarled. I stopped sobbing briefly. I didn’t realize that I had used my power; with the memory package I can project memories as well.

Looking up, I had realized that the eyes of all Cullens had turned to a deep black. Esme was growling. I was stunned; petite motherly Esme growling?

But pity was something I didn’t want from anyone. I had learned to be independent. At the thought of pity in their eyes, I immediately pulled myself together.

“I’m sorry, you weren’t meant to see that. I was too emotional to control my power. I’m sorry.” I apologized, composing my composure.

“Bella, you have NOTHING to be sorry about. Please, just tell us his name and he’ll be dead by this time tomorrow.” Edward promised, baring his teeth at no one in particular.

“I agree.” Carlisle said. I was surprised; Carlisle have always been a non-violent person

“Bella, would you like to take a break?” Jasper asked. Thank god for the empathy.

“Yes.” I answered, standing up.

“Why don’t I show you a tour of the house?” Esme offered.

“That would be nice. Thank you.” I needed to leave; I couldn’t handle the pity/anger stares any longer.

“I’m coming!” Alice announced. She grabbed my hand, and then we followed Esme.

As I left the room, I couldn’t help but glance at Edward. He was staring at his lap, his eyes shut tight. What does he think of me now? Still the innocent Bella Swan he had met all those years ago?

They said nothing else about the subject, for which I was grateful. I knew, eventually, they would know the whole story, but at that moment, I couldn’t handle it. A break was crucially necessary for me.

After ten minutes, me in awe by the work of Esme, we went back into the living room. Everyone was sitting in the same spot as before. They looked at me patiently, waiting to hear the rest of my past.

I can do this I can do this I chanted in my head. “It was difficult during the pregnancy. Naturally, hurtful remarks came my way everyday. School was getting harder and harder. However, I had managed to finish my four-year course. And then I moved to Seattle, trying to get a job as a teacher. My luck, of course, I didn’t get any teaching jobs. So I worked as a waitress; there was enough money for food, rent and Elizabeth’s childcare if I worked hard enough.” I stopped briefly.

“One night, after I picked Elizabeth up from her childcare, she was really hungry. Elizabeth had always been small for her age, which made it easier for me to carry her. So I picked her up, and took a short cut. That was the night when s-she had g-g-gone.” I choked on the last word.

“That memory you saw was a part of the night. This time, I lost the will to live. After he” I snarled at the pronoun “passed out, I reached for my clothes, then I went to see my daughter. My bet wasn’t high for any chance that she might be alive. And I was scared. I didn’t know if I could handle seen my baby, died, broken. But I had to; if she was still alive then that meant I still had a responsibility. I wouldn’t be able to, ugh, leave this world.” I took a deep breath. “So I checked. All I could have managed was checking for her pulse.” I wrapped my arm around my torso, trying to minimize the hole in my chest. “I-It wasn’t there. I ran back to where I had lived, which was three blocks away from the factory where the,” I looked for the right word “violence happened. Grabbing the paycheck I hadn’t deposited yet, I caught a taxi and went to Forks. I wanted to see the meadow one last time before I, die. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw Laurent was there. He said he had been looking for me for a few years now, in favor to Victoria. Then he wasted no time and bit me. His plan was to suck me dry.”

“If it weren’t for the wolves, I would have died. Soon after, the wolves had arrived, they ripped Laurent off me. They destroyed him there. I remember Sam telling me he was sorry. He moved me to the mountains, where I stayed for years to control my thirst. After ten years, I finally mastered control. The reason, I think, that my control over thirst was so easy is because of my, ugh, conditions when I come in contact with blood. You all know how I was with blood when I was human.”

“The moment I left the mountain, I thought of nothing but revenge. Those violent memories had been playing repeatedly in my first years because I couldn’t control my power. I think, it’s because of that that caused the vampire in me to get in action.” Carlisle interrupted me.

“Sorry Bella, but what is your power?” He asked.

“Memory. I can remember everything that happened in my life, including my human life. I could also project my memories.” I answered.

“That’s fascinating. My apologies, Bella, please continue.”

I nodded to Carlisle, and then I continued, my voice turning dark. “I hunted down the man who killed my daughter. I made sure his death was much much painful than what he did to me, physically. The pain I had caused him seemed tiny compared to the agony he had caused me, mentally.” I looked up and faced a lot of stunned faces. Of course, this was one side of Bella Swan that they had never seen, not even Edward. I continued, defending my actions.

“I don’t regret my decision. This is what I am now, this is what vampires do. We are meant to kill humans anyways, so we can survive. I had only ever killed one person,” I scoffed “-if you could really call him human. Turned out he was in jail for twenty years for murdering two toddlers. Just my luck, I was the first person he met after his release.”

“After that, I began to work twenty four hours a day. Once I had saved enough, I began to follow the only good vampire examples I had. Go to high school, pretend to be human, and leave in a few years time. After a while, I got sick of high school, so I went to college. I now have a few degrees.” I finished. I didn’t look up as I waited for them to say something.

“Oh Bella!” Esme said, hugging me. “I’m so sorry dear, we should have never left.”

“It’s okay; it’s not anyone’s fault but mine.” I looked at them all sincerely. “I shouldn’t have been so reckless and trusting.”

“Bella, none of this is your fault. Okay, drinking was probably not the best idea but, I repeat, none of this is your fault. NONE.” Edward said, pain burning in his eyes. I felt confusion forming on my facial expression; why was he pained?

“Yeah Bella. Well, since I can’t take care of any of those bastards that hurt you, can I go and prank Hals, your personal stalker?” Emmett grinned, cracking his finger joints.

“How did you know about Hals?” I stared at him; perplexity was obvious on my face.

Rose answered me. “Oh, someone mentioned something about ‘them’” she pointed at herself, Jasper and Alice “‘looking just like the other one’. Of course, I had to work my charm” She sighed, mocking exasperation “once again to get the truth out. Apparently, it’s a ‘common’ knowledge that Austin Hals, the school captain/football team captain had been in love with Bella Swan ever since she ‘started school’ here. But we didn’t think it would be the same Bella Swan.”

“Of course, I won’t prank him, if you like it.” Emmett grinned, joking.

I flinched. I knew he didn’t mean it that way but I imagined the double meaning. It brought back memories of my past.

Rosalie noticed. She smacked Emmett’s shoulder, hard. “Out of all the jokes, why that one?” She hissed.

Her husband looked bewilder. And then his jaw dropped when he got it. “I’m so sorry Bella; I didn’t mean it that way. Please forgive me.” He begged.

“He was on a plane with his new wife, there had been an accident. He could have survived but he used his body as a shield and protected Jade. They were falling through ten thousand meters from the sky. It didn’t work; they had both died.” I answered.

No one seemed to know – or dared – to reply to that. Not even Emmett, although he was hiding his face in Rose’s lap.

“Bella, can you stay for the evening? Please? We can have soo much fun! We can watch a movie, have some girl time… please?” Alice begged, pouting. I smacked my head in frustration; Alice’s sad expressions were something even the toughest vampires couldn’t resist.

Sighing, I gave her my answer. “Fine. But I need to hunt first.” What I really needed was some time alone; hunting was just an excuse.

“Go ahead dear. Do you want any of us to come with you?” Esme offered.

“No thank you. I prefer to hunt alone.” I gave the group a small smile – which they all returned – and then ran to the forest next to the Cullen’s home.

Deer were the first animals I found. Quickly, I snapped its neck and feed. Once I was done, I cleaned up, and then went for a long walk.

What can I do now? What do I do now? Frustrated, I messaged my temple. I knew my decision would completely be based on how the Cullens felt about me. Or, more specifically, what Edward felt about me.

I sighed; I knew my decision already. I would stay, stay for as long as they want, but leave as soon as one of them shows unpleasantness towards me; I didn’t want to intrude their family, or scar myself again, knowing I would be able to remember it for the rest of eternity. Sighing again, I began to make my way back to the Cullen’s mansion.

“BELLA!!” Alice squealed as soon as I entered the house. She gave me a bone-crashing hug, smiling as if we haven’t seen each others in years, not hours.

“Hi Alice.” I returned her hug. I looked around the room, and was disappointed when I couldn’t see Edward. I opened my mouth, about to ask when I was cut off by Emmett, who just came into the room.

Still laughing, I went up to him and hugged him. He, in return, gave me one of his famous bear hugs.

“It’s good I no longer need to breathe.” I said, rubbing my ribs.

“It’s good you’re no longer breakable, so now I could just give you a proper hug instead of the ones you’ve got as a human were what I call the Human Version of Bear Hugs.” Emmett wrinkled his nose. I laughed again; good old Emmett and his lame jokes.

“Bella, where’s mine?” Rosalie asked, foraging hurt.

“Of course I wouldn’t forget you.” I hugged her, smiling. I really could get used to the fact that I’m on good terms with Rosalie.

“Bella, can I have a hug dear?” Esme asked.

“Of course.” I gave her a hug too. It felt like ‘National Hugging Bella’ day.

“But that’s not fair! How come only girls can bond with Bella?” Emmett asked, fuming.

“Well, because if you’re there, you would start making out with Rose half way through the movie. No actually, you won’t make it that far. You’ll start making out with her as soon as the light is switched off.” Alice said, sticking her tongue out at him.

“Fine. But you owe me a game later on the play station.” Emmett said to me.

“Sure. Be ready to get your butt kicked.” I warned.

“Oh no Bella Emmett takes his games seriously.” Jasper laughed.

“Yeah grasshopper, so be ready and watch the master of Halo kick YOUR butt.” Emmett grinned, his face clearly showed that he was full of confidence.

All night was spent talking and laughing with Esme, Rosalie and Alice. It wasn’t until it was half past seven I realized that school was about to start. I began to panic; what would the humans think about my car been at school all night?

“Oh shoot, school’s starting in fifteen minutes. My car’s still there and- I was cut off by Alice.

“Relax Bella, it’s all been taken care of. Last night Jasper borrowed your car keys so he could drive the car here. I hope you don’t mind. As for clothing, you can borrow something of me; we’re basically the same size.” Alice said.

I felt relieved. “No no, it’s fine. Thank you.”

“No trouble at all Bella. Now let’s get ready for school.” Alice grinned.

“I’ll leave you here girls.” Esme got up and left.

Five minutes later, with everyone ready, we left the house, with me thanking Esme for letting me intrude their home as a parting.

As I drove to school by myself -it would have looked to suspicious to the humans if I arrived with any of the Cullens – I had the feeling something bad was going to happen. Life would never connect me with happiness for too long.