Late Amjad Khan's wife talks about dealing with the death of her husband and his glorious career

A file picture of Amjad Khan with wife Shehla and children Shadaab, Ahlam and Seemab

Gabbar Singh has outlived Amjad Khan. Thirty-five years after Sholay released, the iconic villain continues to be the stuff of movie lore, inspires characters and even spoofs. Paradoxically, Gabbar remains Hindi cinema’s most loved villain – with children rattling off his dialogue “Kitne aadmi the?’’ with amusement. Though the actor, a Filmfare discovery, evolved to play varied roles in films including Satte Pe Satta, Shatranj Ke Khiladi, Muqaddar Ka Sikandar, Gabbar immortalised him... It’s been over two decades since Amjad Khan passed away. But some changes remain irreversible.

“I just can’t sleep at night. I keep tossing and turning. I can only sleep after fajr namaz (morning prayers),”says wife Shehla Khan who was devastated when she lost her husband on July 27, 1992. “Three weeks after he passed away was our wedding anniversary. We were together for less than 20 years. He was only 48,” she laments. “I can’t watch his films even today, something I did to block him out of my mind then,” says Shehla who loved his work in Plot No 5 and Hum Se Badkar Kaun apart from Sholay. “We were in Bangalore, when a tarot reader told me, ‘This film will take your husband to unimaginable heights’, ” says she of the blockbuster that ranfor five years and changed their lives forever.

THE LOVE STORYWhat charmed Shehla most about Amjad was his self-confidence. Something he wooed her with. Their romance had all the ingredients of a Hindi movie – love, drama, opposition and finally consent! “We lived in the same neighbourhood in Bandra. I was 14 and in school. He was doing his BA. I knew him as Jayant uncle’s (actor) son. We’d play badminton sometimes and he once told me, ‘Don’t call me bhai!’.” She continues, “One day I was returning from school when he came to me and said, ‘Do you know the meaning of Shehla? It means the one with dark eyes’. Then he said, ‘Hurry up and grow up because I’m going to marry you’.”

Later Amjad sent a marriage proposal, which Shehla’s father (late writer and lyricist Akhtar-ul-Iman) justifiably refused saying she was too young. “Amjad was furious. He said, “You’ve rejected my proposal? If this was my village we’d have wiped out three generations of your family’,” she laughs. Eventually, she was packed off to Aligarh to complete her graduation, away from her paramour’s ardour. “Every day I’d get a letter from Amjad. I’d also write to him.” But she had to return after she fell ill and continued her studies in Mumbai. “Amjad had done his Masters in Persian, which was my second language too. So he’d teach me Persian,” says she. “I was crazy about wafers. So he’d woo me with chips. I grew up only after I met him. I saw my first adult film, Moment To Moment, with him.” And the second time when Amjad’s parents took his proposal, Shehla’s parents agreed. They got married in 1972 and their first child Shadaab was born in 1973. Amjad was offered Sholay on the same day!GABBAR MANIAEvery role has its destiny and Gabbar was Amjad’s. But not without its fair share of anxiety. Amjad was on his way to report to Bangalore to commence shooting for Sholay when the flight developed hydraulic failure. “He waited at the airport for four hours for the technical glitch to be sorted. He took the same flight. After reaching there, he developed fever thinking of what could have happened had the aircraft failed again. He had a two-month-old baby back home. He had taken this risk fearing that if he didn’t reach the shoot, Danny Denzongpa would’ve been roped in.” Initially, Danny was supposed to play Gabbar. But his dates had been allotted to Feroz Khan for Dharmatma.

Life took an unprecedented turn after Sholay. “It was the Sunday just after it released. We had taken Shadaab to Juhu beach, when I saw a crowd of people coming towards us. Amjad picked up Shadaab, grabbed my hand and said, ‘Run! Just run!’ We barely managed to get into the car before people started banging on it.” Such hysteria was oft-repeated. “Another time we were in Hyderabad. A police jeep took us from the airport to the hotel. There were people standing on both sides of the road. I asked Amjad, ‘Are these people waiting for you?’ He replied with a straight face, ‘Ya! Even Kalidas’ wife thought he was a fool’.”

In Sholay and with Amitabh, Rekha and Amjad in Muqaddar Ka Sikandar

FAB FATHERThe funniest part says Shehla, neither his children nor those of others were petrified of him. In fact, Amjad even went on to endorse a popular biscuit brand for children. “At home nothing was out of bounds for the children. They played cricket with a season ball in the drawing room. He’d say, ‘Don’t shout, nazar ka dar rakho (express disapproval through your eyes). Just his tone was enough for the children to stop misbehaving.”

She continues, “He was an extremely loving father. Once the younger one Seemab hurt himself and had to have stitches on his face. He sat waiting on the porch for his father to return. The minute Amjad saw him, he too started crying.” She adds, “He used to address Ahlam as ‘princess’. Once she was supposed to be operated for appendicitis. He coaxed his doctor friend to let him remain in the operation theatre while the surgery was being done.”MISHAP TALESIt was while they were on their way to the outdoor location of The Great Gambler (1976) in Goa that Shehla and Amjad met with an accident which had long-term side-effects on Amjad’s health. “We reached Sawantwadi (near Goa) when Amjad took to the wheel as the driver had been driving all night. He went on to flip a cassette and the next thing I knew I was in a pool of blood.

I was six months pregnant with my daughter Ahlam. My face was smashed and my bones broken. I had temporary amnesia and kept asking, ‘Who are we, where are we going?’ But eventually, Ahlam was born a healthy baby weighing 10 pounds.” However Amjad was not so lucky. “Thirteen of his ribs were broken; the steering wheel had penetrated his chest and ruptured the lung. His femur bone was broken. He had to be operated and that’s when Amitji (Bachchan) gave his signature for the doctors to proceed.”

From then on began Amjad’s weight gain. “He was a fitness freak. He used to play badminton. He used to exercise with a bull-worker. But post the accident all this stopped. Because of all the inactivity and medications he put on weight.” Amjad, a tea-addict, also had a sweet tooth. “He was a meetha monster. He loved chocolates, rosgollas, gulab jamuns and halwas.”

THE TRAGEDYShehla didn’t know what July 27, 1994 held in store for her. It was a normal day and Amjad was supposed to meet someone at 7 pm. “He went up to change. At 7.20 pm, Shadab came down running saying, ‘Daddy’s gone cold, he’s sweating’. Amjad had fainted. Within minutes he was gone. Amjad always used to say, ‘I’ll go easily’. There was not a single crease on his forehead. He looked peaceful.” But his family underwent deep turmoil.

Shadaab, then 18, reacted very violently to his father’s death. “He picked up every cut glass item at home and threw it out. Later, he made a premature debut in films which didn’t work. He lost a lot of weight but didn’t tone himself. Awaz bhi phat rahithi (his voice hadn’t matured enough). It took a while for Shadaab to come to terms with his father’s death. Even today he doesn’t get ecstatic over anything. He doesn’t visit the kabrastan (graveyard). He says daddy’s not there.”

About herself she says, “I took down all of Amjad’s pictures. Even today you won’t see one in the house. He liked lavish, long drapes and wall to wall carpets. I got my décor changed to something he’d never liked.’’ She continues, ‘‘Once I entered Ahlam’s (who was 15 then) room. She had showcased all his photographs. I left the room immediately.’’ The youngest Seemab, who was 10 then, was also very disturbed. ‘‘He’d keep saying, Why are so many people here, send them back. Why are you wearing white? Daddy liked red. Mrs Krishna Raj Kapoor who had come to pay her condolences heard this and said, ‘Just do what the children want. Don’t worry about what people say.’RUMOURS VS REALITYBeing the wife of a successful actor had its flipside – rumours of link-ups. Shehla says being ‘a fighter’ she could withstand them. “He was a good husband. Though he never went out of his way to show affection, ours was an easy relationship. Whenever I’d be upset he’d say, ‘Arrey biwibol do, bata do’. And after I had shared what was bothering me, he’d say, ‘Now it’s not your problem. It’s mine’.” She adds, “I’m not the possessive kind; I’m not a clinger. I can’t hang around anyone even if he’s my husband. It’s my pride. It’s not that we never fought. If I got disturbed by the rumours, I’d demand an answer. But he never raised his voice. He’d say, ‘You want to fight? Shut the door, turn on the TV, now you can throw things and shout. The children shouldn’t hear’. That was the unwritten rule, no dramatics, no tamasha.’’

She adds,‘‘I’d never check on him by speaking to drivers or spot boys. That would’ve been below my dignity. I was confident my marriage would never break.’’ About the strong rumours linking him to starlet Kalpana Iyer she says, “I’ve never spoken about it when he was alive so why should I do so now? I used to definitely question him about the rumours. But I wasn’t looking for chinks in his armour. There was no change in his behavior at home nor did he have mood swings. At home he was Amjad, my husband and the father of my children.” Reportedly, young Shadaab too had an altercation with Kaplana when she commented on Amjad after his demise. “Shadaab was upset. Those were his growing years. And he had lost a father. His whole focus was his mother. And if he reads something (even if the person has been misquoted), the child’s not going to take it. You can’t blame children for a lot of things and yet you don’t condone it,” she says objectively. Today Shehla lives with her betas and bahus in their bungalow. Shadaab, 37, has written a psychological thriller waiting to be published. Ahlam, 33, writes and directs her own plays, Seemab (29) is assisting Sajid Khan in Housefull 2. Life seems to have moved on. But the thunder in Shehla’s life has gone forever...