Six Reasons It’s Not Always Awesome to Be Gay and Have a Gay Sister

Having a gay sibling when you’re also gay can be pretty cool, especially in a big family where females reign supreme and most of them are straight. There’s the bonding over discovering Tegan and Sara, celebrating when a new celebrity comes out, having someone to ask if you look too lesbian or not lesbian enough, etc., etc. It’s all well and good, but it’s also kind of the worst. Here are six examples how:

They will steal your “coming out” thunder

I, a gay, have a younger sister who is also a gay. But while I treaded the seas of heteronormativity with caution, dropping pebbles of gayness here and there on the path to coming out, she cannonballed herself out of the closet and beat me right to it. So, depending on your situation, your lesbian sibling could very likely take all the heat for being the first to come out, but on the downside, you’ve automatically become “the other gay one” in the family. Every time you come out to someone new, you will be the other one; you will never be first gay again.

They will know all your dirty little secrets

If you have a sibling of the homosexual persuasion, you quickly realize that the novelty of realizing you’re both gay will wear off the moment your social life takes off. You’re dipping your toe in gay waters, meeting new people, making questionable decisions, decisions that your sister will probably hear about because the lesbian community is smaller than you first anticipated. Not only will they keep track of every single thing you get up to at clubs and parties, but they will know your home life. They know what makes you tick, your hopes, your fears, they’ll know when you tell white lies to girls at bars to make yourself look better, and if they’re feeling particularly vindictive, they’ll call you out on it.

You’ll never get away with “secretly” checking out a woman ever again

We have all managed to keep our gay low key around family, it’s a practiced trait to a) not freak out your family and/or b) not freak out a possibly heterosexual woman who catches you appreciatively regarding her as the attractive goddess she is. But when there are two experts of “the gaze” present, there’s nowhere to hide. Prepare for some teasing, some elbow nudging, some embarrassing conversations you’ll inevitably be dragged into when your sister decides she wants to help you talk to the girl.

Your awareness will have to go beyond just gaydar

If you and your sister are close in age and live in the same city, chances are that your social circles will overlap more often than not, if you’re not in the same circle already. And if this is the case, you run the risk of hooking up with the same girls. You have to, not only make sure the next cute girl you meet is gay, but also figure out just how far away from you, she would be on “the chart.”

If you and your sister are close in age and live in the same city, chances are that your social circles will overlap more often than not, if you’re not in the same circle already

And if this is the case, you run the risk of hooking up with the same girls. You have to, not only make sure the next cute girl you meet is gay, but also figure out just how far away from you she would be in Our Chart.

Speaking of people you sleep with…

Meeting a new girl is stressful enough when you’re gay, let alone when your sister is really cute, good with new people and at the same party as you

Your A game needs an A game of its own because once you introduce her, and you will, you can’t help it if the cute girl makes a beeline for the sister with the better hair. While one of the perks of having a gay sister is that you’ve got probably the best wing-woman a girl could ask for, there is a dangerous line between wing-woman and twat block. One moment you can be on the better side of being talked up to that hot girl you’ve been eyeing for an hour and spectator to your sister’s next conquest the next.

It’s a toss-up, really, but when you get down to it, all the cons are outweighed by the advantage of having someone to share that look when straights in your family say something dumb and/or offensive, and someone who is the closest thing you’ll have to a person who really, really gets where you’re coming from, twat block or not.