July 30th 2017 – home

I went out with Mrs M, Mrs S and Miss T on Thursday night. Mrs M called for me and we walked to the neighbouring village. On the way, she told me that she’s made her mind up to leave Mr M. I was a bit surprised but not stunned and when I asked for more details, she confessed that although Mr M suffers from depression which she can deal with, he is also emotionally abusive. She went on to say that Little L had started picking up on his dad’s nasty behaviour and apologising for it which is just heartbreaking. Apparently, the first time she bore witness to such behaviour was on their wedding night and every notable event since then seems to be a trigger. The following day, he always apologises and everything is swept under the carpet, like every abusive relationship you ever hear about. The worst thing is that he doesn’t try to help himself. He went to the doctor a couple of years ago and was prescribed antidepressants which worked but he soon stopped taking them, wrongly believing that he was ‘cured’. He has also given up his recent sojourn into therapy. Basically, Mrs M is exhausted and finds that she doesn’t want to try to fix him, or her marriage, anymore. The fact that all the drama with the Rock Star happened at the very time she was deliberating whether to leave Mr M or not made her realise that she may be in her thirties with two kids but that doesn’t mean her life is over or that she has to spend it with an albeit troubled but frankly horrible man. I can’t believe she had to suffer in silence for so long. Although she’s bound to face a few rough months after she leaves Mr M, it will ultimately be for the best. Sadly, she says she feels like a fool for being hoodwinked and a fraud for pretending that her life with Mr M was all roses. I can see how she got drawn in by him though – he’s so mild-mannered and placid with an interesting artistic streak that you just can’t imagine him being anything but a lovely guy. I just wish she’d opened up sooner.

We went on to have a nice evening in the cute beer garden at The Royal Oak. I told the girls about The Talk and thankfully not one of them was shocked or concerned about our decision to not have children. Mrs S, who I expected to be my strongest opponent, said that she often felt under appreciated by Mr S and that she was always the one to organise the practicalities. Miss T said that she’s been constantly worried and stressed since the birth of Little M five years ago. I was pleased that they were honest with their views on motherhood and didn’t try to change my mind or assure me that my attitude would eventually waver.

On Friday, Mr P (not that one) and Miss W made it over to The New Old Local for a catch up. It’s always great to see them; both were as delightful and entertaining as always. Mr P’s mum is moving to Peterborough and I think he’s found it hard to accept that his childhood home will no longer be his fail-safe Leicestershire base. I worry that now he has no family left in the borough, his sporadic visits will be even more infrequent. I hope that we’ll get the chance to visit them in Norfolk once Mr P passes his driving test.

We have had Mrs H’s cocker spaniel thrust upon us for the weekend because dippy Mr B, who was dog-sitting, forgot that he was actually going on holiday himself this weekend, mistakenly thinking it was the weekend hence. It’s all okay though; the cocker spaniel and the whippet basically ignore each other and he’s so old now that the trademark spaniel nuttiness has gone.

This week, Mr P and I celebrate our four year wedding anniversary. The traditional four year gift is fruit and flowers so I’ve bought Mr P a grapevine. We going for lunch on the day itself at The Case in Leicester and then, as always, having friends and family around at the weekend for a bit of a knees up.

In more mundane news, I finally caved and bought a new hairdryer after Mr P’s repeated entreaties that mine was dangerous and should be binned. To be fair, he did have a point; it used to overheat and switch itself off and it belonged originally to Mr P’s ex so was at least twelve years old. It just galls me to spend money on boring things like that, especially when there are shoes and dresses to buy, but after a fruitless charity shop trawl this month, I gave in. I also bought this lovely Amy Winehouse T-shirt from Etsy.

I’ve got Mrs M visiting me this evening for wine and more chat. As for the Rock Star, she has since found out that he has a girlfriend but he has told her that things are complicated in their relationship and that he only just realised just how bad things were after he’d met and formed a friendship with Mrs M. Apparently, he’s calling her later on this evening for a big talk. Dutch courage is required so I’ve made sure we’re stacked with Malbec.