Thursday, October 29, 2009

Where does your SELF come from?

@tinybuddha sent out a tweet today that brought into focus what I have been pondering lately. "As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it." ~Eckhart Tolle. Where is it that I derive what I believe myself to be? How do I hang on to what is joyful when this world seems to attack my stability and disparage all that makes me happy?

I need to realize that that I decide what has impact and what pain I carry. Nothing is decided for me. What is inside, I let inside and I need to choose carefully. I don't need to listen to the news every day if it causes me to be anxious. I don't need to constantly visit those things that make me hurt. We all have those pet tortures that we inflict on ourselves, those favorite demons that tell us that we are not what we are supposed to be.

I am not going to define myself by my pain. I am not going to dwell on those demons or external situations that cause me anxiety. I am going to focus on another quote @tinybuddha tweeted, “Things and conditions can give you pleasure but they cannot give you joy—joy arises from within.” ~Eckhart Tolle.

That works both ways, "things and conditions" can make you happy or sad, anxious or calm but to feel true joy or epic sadness it has to come from within.

I choose joy.

When I look inside and find my SELF, I want it to find it happy, joyful and stable so I provide that to those who rely on me. I want to be that kind of husband, brother, son and (sooner or later) father.