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keeping tabs of a series of unfortunate dating experiences

This One’s For You ….

I thought writing this down would make it easier … I was definitely wrong.

How am I even going to start this conversation?

I think I like you, but maybe more than that .. I’m pretty sure I genuinely have feelings for you and not the kind I ever thought I would. I never thought I would think about you and want you next to me, I miss you when I’m not with you but I know I can’t be with you and I know you’re trying to create some distance between us … that kind of sucks.

Do you remember that time when you got really drunk and I woke up to texts from you telling me that you loved me? I wonder if I still have those … I hope I do, I wish I was getting them from you now.

Are you as scared about the thought of being with me as I am with you? Because I’m terrified! And I don’t mean that in a horrible way, I mean it as in a way of … If we end up together I genuinely believe you’re going to be my forever person and that’s really scary!

I know I need to tell you how I feel before I end up totally fucking this up, I don’t want all of our ‘first time’ situations to be ruined because of them happening in the wrong way. I want everything between me and you to be memorable for all the right reasons.

You know how I HATE showing my feelings, I’ve never been one of theses openly emotional people, so I want you to know that when I tell you I like you that it has taken a lot of courage for me to do that! But I guess that kind of proves how serious I am

But you’re also one of my best friends and you’ve seen me through a lot of shit and that’s what makes this whole thing even more scary! Because I do not want to lose you, even though our friendship is already totally different, don’t think I don’t notice how you get when I talk about dating other people.

So this is for you, the guy im falling for, the guy I would fall apart without.