Diagnosis: A long horrible journey.

Going in for a routing eye exam and thinking to myself, “this is going to be a waste of time.” But my co-pay was only $10 so what the heck.

They tell me to cover one eye and read the letters and then switch. I tell them it takes me a LONG TIME to adjust to light (RED FLAG). So we wait, they get impatient and tell me we can skip that part. Then the preliminary examination begins aka TORTURE. I went in and my eyes were raped. Yes, raped. Machine after machine after machine, and then came the worst: retina picture time. A giant flash right into my eyes: one at a time.

Then it was time to see the optometrist. I sat there pertinently waiting for the effects of the flash to wear away…

The optometrist comes in, we chat, then the fun begins. She asks if I…