Primary Navigation

Telling It Like It Is

“Do these jeans make my butt look big?” I heard the girl ask her friend.

“No way! It looks good! You should get those!”

Now, either this friend was blind, or the girl’s booty was even more ginormous when she wasn’t wearing those jeans. Her butt looked…really big. In fact, she was just a big girl with a big butt. I’m not judging – it’s just a fact.

This conversation and a personal experience I had recently, made me realize something: We lie to people all the time . We are liars. We are. All of us. Even you, missy and mister. And don’t lie and say you don’t, because then you are just confirming the fact that you are, in fact, a liar.

Recently, I got a haircut. It’s not my favorite, even though I dearly love my hair stylist. I hope it’ll just take a couple of weeks and then I’ll be used to it, but in the meantime…well, you know how a girl feels when she doesn’t like her hair, right? Let me tell you – like an ugly, half-crazed lunatic with perpetual PMS. No amount of eye makeup or fabulously tall, designer high heels can make you think you look okay.

Trust me.

I have a group of women that I trust to tell me the truth. Scratch that. USED to trust. They all say my hair looks cute. My sister says she loves it. They are all liars*. I know this because I have a mirror and have seen my hair. These women are full of crap. I love them, but they are lying to me in order to make me feel better**.

I don’t need that. I don’t want that.

Oh, I know. We have good intentions. We try to be the good friend, supportive and kind, but aren’t we really just loving, encouraging, little white liars? I’m not saying this is ALL bad, but if you really, truly love someone, why don’t you just tell them the truth?

If a friend asks you a question about something, and you can tell they really want the truth, for the love of all things pink – TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

Tell them they have a big butt and that you’ll help them get healthy. Tell them they have a bad haircut and go hat shopping with them. Tell them they look bad in fuschia lipstick and throw it away. Tell them they can’t cook worth crap and invite them to dinner. Tell them they smack like a horse and they need to learn how to chew.

TELL THEM!!! That’s love, people. Tell them things – in a nice way – to help them be BETTER.

If they don’t hear this from you, they’ll hear it from someone who doesn’t like them. It won’t be pretty. They’ll ask you why you never told them. They’ll ask you if it’s true. They’ll be hurt that you didn’t speak up. You don’t want that.

Now, it’s hard to be truthful about the size of someone’s arse. I know it is. But guess what? They probably already think it’s huge. They just need someone they love to help them whittle down. (Make sure you think they do, in fact, kinda want to maybe lose some weight/eat healthier/whatever. Some people want a huge arse.) Reaffirming something that isn’t true, isn’t helping anybody.

A word of caution – don’t go around saying exactly what you think to everyone, unless you want to end up with a fat lip and no friends. Only offer your honest opinion to good friends, who you love and who love you, and only when they ask you for it! No one wants to be around the person who is always giving them unwanted advice about their lives.

That’s why we have mother-in-laws, for crying out loud.

*They might not technically be liars. They might actually thinks it looks okay. This does not help. This makes me question their judgement on all things fashion and decor and also makes me question their eye health.

** I do not feel better. And not one of them even offered me a hat. I love them anyway.

***This was not written so people would say they like my hair. It’s okay. It’s hair. It’ll grow. I’m past the crying stage. Really.