From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

Growing Up – Chapter 16

Thando had experienced a lot of stress during her pregnancy. First it was all the gossip and nasty stares she got from the church elders and judgemental remarks from the youth at church. Then it was her unsupportive parents. I believe that every woman, young and old, deserves to have someone who will support them throughout their pregnancy. Her parents made her feel like she had failed them in the worst possible way and Thando being a people pleaser, never imagined that she would fail her parents. Finally it was the baby-daddy, the fact that Mlu was cheating and not supporting her through the pregnancy strained her a lot. This might seem like a small issue to some strong women out there, but Thando was an emotional person. She was too soft, and had a fragile heart.
While we were on our way to the hospital, Thandiwe called her mom and told her to meet us in hospital ASAP. their mother declined at first, but Thandiwe told her that there was something wrong with Thando and her baby, she then agreed to come. Thando was crying all the way to the hospital, Mlu was silent. Sihle and I were both comforting Thando and Thandiwe. We arrived at the hospital in 15 minutes, they rushed her inside. Their parents arrived shortly after us, their mother looked like she was crying because her eyes were puffy.

Bab’mfundisi: “Sanibonani zingane zam.” (greetings my children)
We all greeted back, Mam’fundisi just went straight and hugged Thandiwe. She cried and murmured something into her ears, Thandiwe continuously said, “It’s okay mama, she will be fine.”
Bab’mfundisi: “What happend to Thando? Why is she here?
Thandiwe: “Dad this dumb f*ck Mlu…”
I had to interrupt her because she was going to cause chaos. Thandiwe wasn’t a peaceful person, she could tell her family the whole story in their own time.”
Me: “Baba no mama, the twins were visiting us and suddenly Thando began to bleed, so we quickly rushed her to the hospital.”
Bab’mfundisi: “Okay zintombi zami. Manje wena ntsizwa yam Mlungisi ufunani lana?” (Okay my girls, so Mlungisi my boy what are you doing here)
Mlu was caught off guard and he scratched his head, again I had to intervene.
Me: “He was with us at my house baba, so he drove us here.”
Bab’mfundisi: “You are such a good young man, I’m glad the girls can always count on you.”

With that said he gave him a pat on the back.

After waiting for what seemed like 60 hours, the Doctor came and asked to talk to Thando’s family in private, they followed him. Sihle, Mlu and I were left behind, and Sihle felt that it was her place to question him.
Sihle: “So are you happy now?”. Mlu kept quiet.
Sihle: “Dammit Mlu I’m talking to you, are you happy now? Is this what you wanted, this is what you wanted neh?”
Mlu: “Eish Sihle don’t irritate me please. Why would I want to see the mother of my 1st baby in this position? Are you mad?’
Sihle: “Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your floozies. You clearly wanted her to be in this position since you cheated on her with someone she knows. Why didn’t you find a side-chick at work or choose one of those girls who don’t do anything at church, you just had to choose Tsiamo? Are you really that stupid?”

Sihle was right, why did he choose to cheat on Thando with a girl she knew very well? Why didn’t he choose a girl she doesn’t know? Most guys do this, when they cheat, most of the time they do so with a girl their girlfriends know. Why don’t they choose a girl who lives far and won’t be known by the main girlfriend. Mlu was also stupid for not letting Tsiamo know that he was dating Thando and was the baby-daddy. As the side-chick Tsiamo was suppose to know what she was signing up for, but shame she didn’t know that he was really dating Thando because their relationship was a secret. Come to think of it, when did they start dating? I am going to ask Mlu.

Mlu: “Don’t call me stupid, and I don’t have to answer to you. I will be in the car if you need me.”
Sihle: “Mxm, the nerve of this guy.”
Me: “I know he is wrong, but you don’t need to attack him like this, in a public place.”
Sihle: “Don’t defend him Hlengiwe.”

I just knew I had to keep quiet in order to avoid arguing with her, so I went outside and found Mlu standing outside his car. I went to him, he looked irritated as I walked to him.
Mlu: “Hlengiwe, I don’t have the energy to fight with you.”
Me: “I’m not here to fight, but I have a few questions. When did you and Thando start dating?”
Mlu: “We’ve been together for a couple of months, almost a year. I’ve had my eyes on her for many years, so I finally had the courage to ask her out.”
Me: “So how did you guys manage to keep your relationship a secret for so long? We never suspected anything?”
Mlu: “It was Thando’s decision to keep the relationship a secret. You know that Bab’mfundisi would freak out if he ever found out that we were dating. We spent time at my house, she would sneak out sometimes at night to spend the night at my house. If we went out on dates, it had to be far from our surroundings. The only person who knew was Thandiwe. Thando said we would let people know about our relationship when I was ready to pay lobola.”

Hahahaha, Thando was a sneaky girl yoh! Sneaking out at night to spend time with her man? I didn’t think she was capable of such. I guess you can never say you really know a person, I was learning that day by day.
Me: “Lobola? Where you guys that serious?”
Mlu: “We are that serious. I love Thando very much, I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
He loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her? What about Tsiamo?
Me: “Then why were you busy with Tsiamo?”
Mlu: “It’s a long story, but let me cut it short… Thando insisted that we keep our relationship for the sake of her parents, when we found out that she is pregnant, I told her that she must tell her parents so that we can be able to discuss damages and lobola. Being the over-analyser that she is, she thought that I want to lobola her for the sake of pregnancy, she thought I was feeling obliged to do so for the sake of the baby. She gave me a long speech about how she wanted to get married for love, not other things. As much as I was doing this for the baby, I also love her and was already planning to marry her. She began to go all cray cray on me and she would break up with me and make up again. The one day she said she really didn’t want me anymore and she would allow me to visit the child once it’s born. She however continued to refuse to tell her parents that I was the father of the baby. I know I was wrong with fooling around with Tsiamo, but I just needed some company. I couldn’t tell Tsiamo about Thando and me because promised her that we will let people know once she’s told her parents. I really love Thando jo….I’m hoping that we will make up after she gives birth. I have our whole life mapped out. Thando is weird but she gets me and I get her.”

Me: “So what about Tsiamo? Do you love her?”
Mlu: “No I never loved her. Tsiamo has always been flirting with me for a while now, so I thought I should score while she still wants me. I know it’s wrong but what should a man do when a cookie begs to be eaten? I am a warm blooded man and I will obviously be tempted to chow the cookie.”

Haaaaaaa I was shocked. Mlu acted like a very holy guy and church so it was weird to hear him talk about chowing cookie’s. But it’s probably the reality of many Christians, we never get to be ourselves at church. Church is no longer about repentance, it has become more about keeping up appearances. We never get to deal with our demons, we are expected to be perfect. We are treated like a plague when we our sins are evident to the church, e.g fornicating and falling pregnant. Isn’t the church a place where sinners are assured of God’s love, where we are told that in the midst of our weaknesses God’s grace is still sufficient for us? Surely Christ didn’t die for this.

As we were talking Bab’Mfundisi, followed by all the ladies came rushing outside, Bab’Mfundsi seemed very angry. He got to where we were standing, he punched Mlu very hard. Yoh He clearly knew that he was the one that made his precious daughter pregnant.
Mam’mfundisi: “Baba stop please, you will draw attention to us.”
Bab’mfundisi: “I’m sorry mama, I’m just angry. Mlungisi my boy, I took you like one of my children. How could you get my daughter pregnant?”
Mlu kept quiet and scratched his big head as usual.
Thandiwe: “This is what you are good at, messing up then keep quiet? Be a man Mlu, you were man enough when you were dishing out your sperms to my sister?”
Hahaha Thandiwe neh, she was always ready for a fight, she was a warrior. Always ready to fight for her sister, I sometimes wish I had a Thandiwe in my life. But I wonder who fought for Thandiwe, who protected her from all the pain? I wonder if Thandiwe was really the tough person she made everyone believe she is. I sometimes thought that her tough act was a cry for help. How is it possible for a person to forever be in fight mode?

Mam’fundisi: “Haibo Thandiwe.”
Thandiwe: “Hai mama.”
Mam’fundisi: “Hlengiwe and Sihle did you girls know that Mlu was the father of the baby?”
We both nodded in agreement.
Mam’fundisi: “How will we trust you girls if you hide important things from us?”
Thandiwe: “Mom it wasn’t their place to tell you. Calm down.”
Bab’mfundisi: “Mlungisi I’m still waiting for your answer.”
Mlu hesitated for a while, the he began to tell them his side of the story, of course Thandiwe interrupted him with her remarks. When he was finished, Bab’mfundisi finally got the time to speak.
Bab’fundisi: “Okay, I hear you. Sunday you will stand in front of the church, apologise in front of the church for the embarrassment you have caused my family and the church, then you will propose to Thando.”