Eat Your Way Out of the Snow: Seven Snow-Based Recipes

Did you scoff at the storm warnings, shun the overcrowded grocery stores, and post insults on Twitter about just how stupid it is to panic at the impending snowmaggedeon/pocolypse/MG? And do you now find yourself snowbound and eying your dog because he's looking mighty tasty?

Don't panic! And please, leave the dog alone. A few days of eating snow-based foods will stave off starvation and perhaps reinforce the importance of taking thundersnow seriously in the future.

Of course, stick to the white snow until you can shovel your way out to St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast.

Paula Deen's Snow Ice Cream Paula Deen didn't invent snow ice cream. How could she, since it rarely snows in Savannah, y'all? You can bet her version's loaded with sweetened condensed milk. In the old days, it was just snow mixed with sugar and milk, and a good way to keep the kids occupied for 10 minutes on a snow day.

Snow Shake It's the same as snow ice cream, but served in a glass with a straw instead of in a bowl with a spoon. Consider it another 10 minutes conquered.

Kool Snow Slushy In case your pantry's not totally bare and you have a few packets of Kool-Aid to spare, just get a bowl of snow and dump the pre-sweetened powder on top. Kool Snow Slushies made with lemonade are the exception to the yellow snow rule.

Snow Candy Been without power for a few days and starting to feel like a member of the Ingall's family, suffering through life on the snow-blown prairie? Might as well eat like them. Boil some molasses and brown sugar - you've got a giant cooking fire in your house, right? - and pour it over a bowl of snow. Dribble the hot syrup over a pan of snow, let it harden, and you've got candy, Little House style.

Sugar on Snow Get down, Vermont style! It's just like getting down, prairie-style, but with flaming hot maple syrup instead of molasses and brown sugar. Except they insist you chase the bites of candy with a bite of sour pickle, probably to melt the ice.
(St. Alphonzo's) Snow Pancakes These pancakes don't have anything to do with St. Alphonzo, unless you make them with yellow snow. This recipe comes from World War II-era Britain, when eggs were in short supply. Cooks substituted snow for the eggs to make holey little pancakes with little nutritional value.

Beer No, not Snow Beer, the mass-produced Chinese beer that's the largest beer seller in the world. Get a bucket of snow, whip up some home brew, and stash it for the next time poor planning leaves you scrounging.