...and in that Fleet was a ship called HMS Ark Royal whose crew were as normal as any other matelots wandering the Seven Seas and fearing the Terrors of the Bay of Biscuits and longing for the familiar sites and fleshpots of dear old Guzz. Then one day a rabble from the BBC came along and offered Equity membership cards to the crew of the Ark in return for being allowed to film EVERYTHING that occured onboard... Here is the unofficial story of what you didn't get to see.

Little Wilf (alias Higthepig) is of course the Star of this story, though I have no idea why.