I'm not here much these days, but feel free to paw through my archives until I return. -Bev

Friday, May 28, 2010

OOBH Stew - Now with Ogre Spoo!

Lately I've been thinking about discontinuing the OOBH Stew feature, but Samsmama specifically requested it yesterday and WHO AM I to say no? No one, that's who.

So here it is, your weekly collection of pop culture droppings that I lovingly mix into a delicious and satisfying mental concoction. It's part of a balanced diet!

Let's get on wit' it, shall we?

1. Daniel Craig might be bisexual.

NTTAWWT. That great bastion of journalistic integrity, The National Enquirer, has reported a story in which several witnesses saw Craig mackin' on some equally-hot dude while out to dinner in Venice, CA. With tongue. Speaking as a woman I have to say that it's a pity for us ladies, but seriously, he's too fine to be totally straight, right?

Hey, we all look like hell some days. Right this very moment I'm sporting the "I woke up too late to wash my hair" ponytail, so who am I to judge? Cath's a beautiful fiftyforty-five forty year-old woman. Cut her some slack, jack!

4. At least 50 Cent still looks fantastic!

He lost 60 lbs for a movie role following what I have to assume was the Olsen Twin Diet: fat-free soy lattes, cigarettes, and desperation.

5. Speaking of the Olsens, we haven't checked in with Very Mary-Kate in a while.

I read Holy Taco just about every day (because I'm 12), but it's yet another one of those sites that I never bothered to read the comments. I used to be like that with List of the Day, believe it or not - I just had no idea what kind of murky underbelly subculture was going on behind the scenes of each hilarious post.

Well, this week apparently the shite hit the fan over at HT in the comment section, so the editors closed the comments and posted this rather hilarious yet scathing condemnation for their commenters' recent action. Since I wasn't involved in any way, shape, or form (that humming sound is coming from the glow of my halo, btw), I found it all to be rather amusing.

There you have it! Another filling bowl of stew. This was a great way to prep the belly for all that BBQ we're gonna eat this weekend, right? It's Memorial Day weekend and all I have planned is parties with friends, playing with the kiddos, eating anything slathered in sauce, and drinking many cold Duffs.

I went and perused some old posts on Holy Taco to see what all the comment fuss was about, and I found this, which might just be the best comment I have ever read:

ive seen a lot of ridiculous internet abbreviations and the one for "too long didnt read" is by far the lamest. it reminds me of the kid from middle school that made you want to rip off his glasses and repeatedly slam his head into the brick wall in the hallway. why the fuck are you gonna comment if you didnt read it anyway. lollerskates omg lmao tmi brb , gtfoyh (get the fuck out of your house) FAKE, PHOTOSHOPPED. im sure you didnt say Tl/DR to the 6th harry potter book you fuckin anus bees.

We just upgraded the television after the move, having lived with a *gasp* 1990-era full-sized television for years. The picture would get all wonky and I'd have to drop it on the entertainment center to fix it. Now we have HD and 1080PSI and all that, and honestly, there are some things that man was not meant to see in Hi-Def. I almost dropped the remote flipping past Sarica Jessica Parker on something the other day, it was frightening at festering zombie levels.

This is all relevant, because I do look forward to the next Bond-a-Thon in HD, especially since I never saw 'Quantum' in the theatres.

And if we didn't have 2500-megapixel cameras, nobody would say anything about CZJ's skin.

Can I get the cheeseburger and nap after she gets her facial?

And Fitty? Kudos for actually getting cast in a role at all, I figured he was irrelevant, being from 2003 and all...

When I see emaciated people like CZJ and the Olsen twins and now even poor 25 cent I want to feed them biscuits. Lots of them. With butter and homemade jam and make them eat them until I can't see their bones poking through their gray skin. I would do it lovingly, of course.

I think that turtle is the coolest thing ever. Thanks Heidi Renee--I'll be using "anus bees" for sure!

Elliott - Oh yeah, I'm sure the HD revolution sent hundreds of actresses screaming to their plastic surgeons for as much Botox as their skin could handle! I can't even imagine how scary SJP must look in HD. ::shudder::

RGR - First of all, your new avatar is uber cute! Secondly, I love that you want to feed the emaciated starlets. So cute!

Jane - TOTALLY!!!

Smama - Glad you liked the stew! Now head on over to Mc'D's to get yourself an ogre load for dessert. Take pics, pls.

AFANM - I try the desperation part of the diet all the time, but it never sticks. Before long I'm just desperate for Taco Bell or something & I'm back to square one!

OBMJ- I've only recently started looking at the Dlisted comment section since Melissa talked about it, and I've been reading that site for something crazy like 7-8 years now! I used to read Celebitchy's comments (and even have an acc't there and posted for a while) but then things just got too big and too nasty for me.

Sad that I think of something rather dump-like when I hear Ogre-load. Couldn't be due to being celibate...? Anus bees! hahahahahaI could really use a nap and a facial. *sigh*That Holy Taco statement was fab.

"he's too fine to be totally straight, right?" So, what are you saying? That being straight, aka non-deviant, isn't fine? Weird way of thinking... And for those who would feel offended by me saying that homosexuality is a deviance, just think about this: can gays perpetuate the human race? Nope. Therefore, biologically speaking, homosexuality IS a deviance, period. Must be some kind of hormonal disorder, I don't know... That said, I have nothing against gays, I have gay friends and they usually are the coolest and nicest people in the world.