Fox Whines About The War On Easter Again

Today's Fox News excuse for ginning up resentment, anger and victimhood in the name of Jesus is Cadbury's decision to remove the word "Easter" from its candy eggs. Oh, the horror!

"Is chocolate maker Cadbury trying to erase Easter?" Fox & Friends cohost Anna Kooiman asked accusingly. "The popular British candy maker is accused of dropping the holiday's name from a lot of their products to make a more secular product. They deny the allegations, saying they're obviously Easter eggs and other products inside their packaging."

This news was deemed so important to the "fair and balanced" network that it was aired on Fox & Friends yesterday, publicized on the Fox News Insider blog and posted to Fox Nation. I'm waiting for an hour-long O'Reilly Factor "investigation." Or maybe there will be a book, "Killing Easter."

Cadbury’s response was that Easter is obviously implied. However, I wonder if the move is to extend the shelf life of the eggs which typically are dumped by merchants the day after Easter at steep discounts.

No matter. One could easily spin packages labeled “Easter Eggs” another way to outrage the Fox fanboy and fangirl far right. Attack Cadbury for mocking Christianity for profits by commercializing some strong Christian symbols in chocolate.

You see, unsaid by the über Christians on Fox News is the real story behind Easter eggs. They symbolize the empty tomb of Christ and traditionally were only dyed red to symbolize the blood of Christ.

Maybe I just never really looked at the packaging that closely but I don’t remember Cadbury’s ever using “Easter” on the candy. All I remember about “Easter” and Cadbury was the commercial with the (clucking) bunny and the voiceover saying “Nobody knows Easter like him”—even then, those have largely been replaced by “Everybody wants to be the Cadbury bunny.”

I did see an article on “The Blaze” website that mentioned Cadbury (in the UK) was dropping “Easter” from one specific packaging and that the “controversy” only seemed to develop in response to a presumably evangelical/right-wing Christian company’s branding itself as the “real Easter” cream egg.

C’mon, guys! Everyone knows the Eastern rabbit holds hands with the baby Jebus and both sh*t out chocolate eggs! It says so right in the Bibnle, next to the verse about ’Murka being created by Jebus who spoke to the Founding Fathers about gun rights and white supremacy.

Jeez, if ya don’t believe me, just read through a Texas public school history book. It’s all in there — with plenty of pictures so Goober’s obese sophomore can get his G.E.D. before he turns 23.