The Unease of Happiness

It sounds awkward right? But really, are you uncomfortable being happy?
You probably want to say no. You probably want to say “Nah, I love being happy, happy is awesome.” But you probably gag on it. You’re probably scared to commit to that level of saccharine. But there it is. Right there in your sarcastically condescending, “everybody likes being happy.” Sure everybody likes the idea of happiness, but actual happiness? That ish is scary as hell.

So, why is happiness scary? Because choosing happiness forces you to recognize just how unhappy you are. Have you ever been sitting in your car, listening to a song you really like, diddy-bopping along? Maybe you’ve been out and about having the best freaking time ever, and then, all in a sudden, you feel tears falling down your face, and you can’t say why the hell they’re there. I mean, you’re happy right? In that little moment you are, and you are so in the moment that when you become aware outside of that moment you compare it to the rest of your life, and realize just how sad, or unfulfilling, or depressing, your life is. So after that, it becomes a lot easier to reject what feels really, really, good, to avoid a comparison to what feels only ok, or maybe even pretty freaking bad. You don’t hang out with friends, because going back home to an empty apartment is much more awful than staying in and watching netflix. You don’t cuddle your girlfriend, because cuddling leads to sex, and sex is the only time you reach euphoria, and the come down makes you want to leap off something steep.

So what’s the answer? What’s the solution, right? How do you allow yourself some happiness?

You get out of your own way.

You don’t allow anyone, or anything, or even yourself to get in the way of your happiness. It’s what you want, naturally, and the only reason you don’t have it is because you cut yourself off from it. You are responsible for keeping it away from yourself. That means you are responsible for providing it to yourself. So, stop being a scared little 💩, put on your bigly pants, and go be effing happy.