David Lewis Paget

The Fifty Dollar Ride - Poem by David Lewis Paget

We were way up there on the Ferris WheelWhen it came to a sudden stop, We'd only got on for the final rideAnd it left us up at the top.‘What are they doing? ' said Imogen, As we first began to doubt, Then looking down to the distant groundThe lights of the Fair went out.

‘Surely they know that we're still up here! 'There was panic in her voice, I tried to bellow, and then to shout, They had left us little choice.The lights of the cars had streamed belowWith the last ones, headed away, The wind up there put a chill in the airAnd the Wheel began to sway.

‘I think I'm going to be sick, ' she cried, And I said, ‘Please, not on me! 'I wrapped her up in my coat and triedTo calm her misery.‘It's always the same with you, ' she said, ‘But it keeps on getting worse, The moment we're down, and on the groundI'm going to get a divorce.'

We'd only gone on the Ferris WheelFor a place to talk things out, I wanted to get her away from homeTo a place where she couldn't shout.She'd sworn she'd never divorce me thatShe'd make life living hell, I had to make her want a divorceAs much as me, as well.

‘So I get blamed for the Ferris Wheel, Did I tell the guy to stop? How could I know he'd forget us hereAnd leave us perched at the top? '‘It always happens, you wired the stoveSo the whole damn thing was live, Then I got thrown when I switched it on, It's lucky I'm still alive.'

‘Then out in the boat, we nearly sankWhen you put the boat in a spin, It filled with water when you forgotTo put the drain plug in.'‘I know, I know, I'm a jinx, ' I said, It always happens to me, Perhaps you'd better get a divorceThen you'll be finally free.'

We didn't speak for a solid hour, Sat as far apart as we could, And then I lit up a cigaretteTo dispel my cold, black mood.Our marriage had really hit the pits, It was never going to do, I'd not been happy since ImogenHad turned to a carping shrew.

I'd never done anything right for her, And never could make amends, She always tried to humiliate meBy telling all of her friends.She said I was good for nothing, butTo give her my weekly cheque, At times I barely restrained myselfFrom seizing her round the neck.

An hour went by, and the Wheel beganTo take us down to the ground, Someone had seen my cigaretteIt seemed, said the man from town.She shrieked and screamed as she stalked awayAt the guy that I knew as Nick, As I slipped him his fifty bucks, and said: ‘It seems to have done the trick! '