Special Report

Resigning to Live With Franken — And With the Democrass Senate

They can’t walk away from being who they are.

That was some resignation, the Al Franken speech at the Senate the other day. As he spoke, all we heard was “I didn’t do nothin’ — and, besides, you can’t prove it!” Some of the accusers, he asserted, were outright liars. As for the others — in so many words, it came down to: “Well, they say I grabbed them by the tush and squeezed as tightly as their available epidermis and subcutaneous adipose tissue allowed, or stuck my probing tongue into their mouths and swirled it around inside, saliva and all, like finishing off the last drippings of a milkshake with a straw.…

… “But I don’t remember it that way.”

So I am resigning anyway.…

… But only in a few weeks. Give or take. Whatever.

That is not a resignation. That’s an invitation to negotiate a departure. It is like the way the “Deep State” State Department now will work to sabotage President Trump’s announcement recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. Watch how they now delay moving the American embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem: “First we will need to send some people from Century 21 to look for a site, but we cannot send them until they have learned Hebrew. Then we will need to wait for mortgage rates to drop. Then we will need to hire an architect, then to start shopping for tiles, then for bathroom fixtures, and then to apply for permits…” By the time they move that embassy, Mahmoud Abbas will be dead of old age, his successor will have died of old age, fourteen new Arab terrorist movements will have come and gone — and Al Franken still will almost be gone from the United States Senate, planning to resign in a few more weeks. And, oh yeah — one more thing:

Live from New York! It’s Saturday night!

Al Franken — Will You Please Go Now?

So let’s get serious. When a person resigns, he or she is gone within 24 hours. Often he gets walked out of the office by security, who make sure to get all keys and who promise to mail the terminated person their belongings in a week or two. When the President requests Sally Yates’s resignation, she is history. When John Conyers resigns, he is gone so fast that he has to send someone from Detroit back to Washington to pick up his pants. Kevin Spacey — gone with the wind. Matt Lauer — here “Today,” gone tomorrow. Charlie Rose? We just turned around, and he’s gone.

So let us understand that, when Al Franken tells us that he is resigning in a few weeks, and he never did any of it, and he does not remember anything — he is not resigning. He is playing for time. He awaits the Alabama Senate election and you can bet that he is rooting harder for Roy Moore than is anyone else. Maybe even share his expertise and stuff some ballot boxes for Roy. Just buy time, run the clock, wait for memories to fade. In time, if we are not vigilant, Al Franken will become the Marvin K. Mooney of the United States Senate: “You can go by tongue./ You can go by grope./ You can stuff some ballots/ And again can hope./ You can go by foot./ You can by moose. / We don’t care how./ Al — just vamoose!”

The Unique Cynical Hypocrisy of Kirsten Gillibrand as She Leapfrogs Pocahontas

Indeed, the entire Democrat wing of the United States Senate now seems primed around that mantra: Wait for memories to fade. If Crazy Horse Elizabeth Warren now is the Embodiment of Mendacity — er, Womendacity — in the United States Senate, Kirsten Gillibrand is next in line, rapidly overtaking her as the biggest phony in the Swamp. What a remarkable fraud! She lived off the Clintons, took their money, associated with them like a better and more likeable daughter than Chelsea, campaigned vigorously for them, exchanged her soul for their endorsement to assume the New York Senate seat. Indeed, she authored these touching words: “Why I’m Supporting Hillary Clinton for President.”

[I]n my adult life, politically, no one has inspired me to get off the sidelines and truly make a difference more than Hillary Clinton has…. I am so excited to support Hillary, not simply because she is a woman with the qualities, values, and experience we need to lead our nation, but because I know she will fight for all of us.… I urge you to raise your own voices this year by voting for the person who shares your values and who will fight tirelessly for you and your family.… I know, for me, that candidate is Hillary Clinton. [Emphases added.]

Ah, but — ding! dong! — the Clintons now are dead. America got its confirmation when Donna Brazile fearlessly threw the Clintons under the bus, blaming them for unilaterally ruining the Democrat party. In politics, ego-driven sycophants like Brazile never stick out their necks bravely against the powerful who may destroy them. Thus, Brazile signaled from inside the muck that the Clintons now are effete and spent, never to be feared again. Gillibrand waited and observed that Brazile survived, and only thereafter posed alongside the sinking “S.S. HillBillary,” telling the New York Times —20 years too late, but now safe — that her mentor Bill Clinton should have been pressed to resign the Presidency.

In selling out her patrons, Gillibrand signaled that she now is angling for a higher role in Democrassy — the crass pursuit of power at the expense of whoever and whatever. Her next target soon would be Marvin K. (“Al”) Franken. With Franken crushed and despised, she saw her next opportunity to win Democrat party points with women. And so she demanded that Franken resign, essentially chanting “Ladies, let’s win this one for The Groper!”

The Senate Democrats’ Mad Christmas Rush to Jesus

And what an avalanche she started! A sudden outburst of Democrat feminism, concern for women. One by one, the sensitive Democrat Senators came forward. They had not demanded Franken’s resignation the day before. Nor the day before that. Nor the week before that. Nor even the week before that. On November 16, all the news media were abuzz with Ms. Leeann Tweeden’s report of Franken’s pig-like behavior towards her, invading her, and the accompanying photographic proof of his clowning in front of her upper torso as she slept innocently. But no Democrats demanded then that The Groper take one for the team. As each new accuser stepped forward, making this the Year of Al Franken, the Dems in the upper chamber calmly maintained their peace. Yes, there would be an ethics investigation. Yes, it all was quite disturbing. And then, all of a sudden, on December 6, 2017, a day that will live in greater infamy in the Franken home than its morrow, Gillibrand posted on Facebook that Franken should resign. Now that it had reached Social Media, the herd of Democattle stampeded to join in the call by midday.

Amazing watching such passionate righteousness! Three weeks of silent watching. Three weeks of attacking Trump. Three weeks of waiting for Robert Mueller and his team of taxpayer-funded Clinton Loyalists to find something besides their tails. And then, in fewer than three hours, the mad rush to Jesus — with sacred righteousness smiting some three dozen United States Senators all within the same three hours. Amazing!

Why the Democrats Delayed and Why Their Hypocrisy Will Fail

Here is what is going on — and why it will fail. The Democrats have been humiliated beyond words since the Harvey Weinstein epoch unfolded. They took money from Weinstein, and he was embedded in the Democrats’ wombs as the one fetus they never would allow to be aborted. They knew all about him, and they looked the other way, preferring to take his wads of cash and beam in the glory of his Hollywood portfolio. The Ashley Judds with their filthy language and faux bravery in attacking the President, the Madonnas in their moronic vagina hats boasting about their intentions to blow up the White House — they all knew that the real sex harassers were those under whom they had gotten their opportunities. But they never spoke up then. Nothing better demonstrated the political incest between Harvey Weinstein and the Democrats than his sincerely thinking he could pacify them and the mainstream media simply by promising to donate bucks to fight the gun lobby. And yet, one by one, new Democrat stalwarts and legends began falling every day. Kevin Spacey — Democrat. Louis C.K. — Democrat. Leon Wieseltier — Democrat. Mark Halperin, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, and the onslaught of hard-line liberals on network and cable news, in public radio, even writing for the New York Times and the Washington Post. Each of them began their farewell announcements with the same script: “I am sorry IF I offended anyone (by grabbing their private parts / by walking around them naked / by locking them in my room while I forced myself onto them) because, as everyone knows, I have devoted my entire life, first and foremost, to defending and advancing the cause of women.” And so it went — with the most amazing part being that no one among the exposed got sued for plagiarism by copying his immediate predecessor’s predictable apology. Liberal Democrat by Liberal Democrat. And then the Icon — John Conyers. And now dear old Al, author of the filthiest article ever written about women and teller of the most sexually profane “joke” ever told to a television audience.

So the Democrats all found and came to Jesus at the same moment, inspired not by the season of shopping mall Christmas carols but by the sudden Social Media post generated by Gillibrand after her own three weeks of studied silence. And what finally moved them?

It was the turnabout in the election prospects for Judge Roy Moore, who now stands solidly grounded in a series of pre-election polls. The Democrats thought for a month that they had buried Judge Moore and had stolen away yet another Republican Senate seat. Their media somehow had intimidated Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney and all the establishment of the Grand Old Guard Party into bashing Roy Moore. Paul Ryan had chimed in. Jeff Flake even wrote a check for a hundred bucks to the pro-abortion anti-Republican Democrat, Doug Jones, who soon will be sitting alongside Mr. Flake outside the Senate, looking in wistfully and begging for a seat to the visitors’ gallery. The Democrats thought they actually had done it again, swiping yet another Republican senate seat to place alongside the Indiana, Missouri, North Dakota, Alaska, and Montana Republican seats on their trophy mantle. But this time the Republican faithful, the voters who had defied the GOP establishment and elected President Donald Trump, after indeed having been hit with a gut punch in Alabama, rebounded. The pollsters found that the Republican voters of Alabama were focused primarily on not losing that Senate seat to another Schumer Puppet who, like all the others, have bullet-voted against every decent Trump initiative since he took office. They understood that, while the Democrats were going through the motions of unseating Al Franken, the reality is that The Groper has not left because the Democrats understand, beneath all their pious rhetoric, that it is more important that their “Resistance” retain precious Senate seats for tight votes. So grassroot Alabama Republicans and Independents came to agree with the President, who broke with the Mitches and the Mitts, and who increasingly issued full-throated calls to vote for Roy Moore and to keep the aspiring Schumer Puppet out of the Senate.

If the polls hold steady — and Republicans tend to do better in actual elections than polls predict because, in today’s world where people can lose their jobs summarily not only as women who refuse to disrobe but also as conservatives who innocently give voice to their sincere beliefs — Moore will win, and the Republicans and President Trump will maintain that frail 52-48 Senate majority that tenuously still relies on the ego-bruised John McCain, Jeff Flake, and Bob Corker.

It will be tight in Alabama. But if he wins, then Senator Roy Moore will have the distinct honor of finding himself a colleague of United States Senator Al Franken who, as of this writing, still gropes to his seat with the tenacity of Sylvester Stallone clinging to that mountain in Cliffhanger. And it will be interesting to see how long we all will have to resign ourselves to the continued presence of “The Gropa from Minnesota.” And how much pressure the Senate Democrats exert on The Groper after the Alabama voting is done.