Trying not to give a shit, but I'm here venting anyway…

Employees at a NORMAL job wouldn’t have much, if anything to complain about after a three hour shift. My job? Different story 100%. Like I called it last night, all today was was businessmen and old cranky women.

I got to work, checked the floor plan and noticed I was in the dining room and not the bar which is great because the dining room has tables that fit 6 people which means bigger parties, versus the bar which can only seat 4 people max in each booth. After being at work for ten minutes, I literally got double sat. This old woman plopped herself down into my section with no menus or anything. Great…and you’re waiting for your daughter to get here (which took about 30 minutes while her mom sat in my section and drank about 5 cups of diet coke WITH LIME!). Nevertheless, when her daughter arrived, they both ordered soup and salad, as did my other two top. No problem…at least it’ll give me time to gossip with the other servers, right? WRONG. My manager decides at the last minute to switch my section to the bar, and proceeds to immediately sit me a five top. Remember I said the booths only fit four? Yeah…the table wasn’t very happy that I couldn’t be very attentive (considering I still had two tables at the complete opposite side of the restaurant) and they also weren’t very happy they were basically fondling each other as they reached for their fucking glasses of sprite. Then..I get sat a one top in my bar section which makes two two tops in the dining room, and a five top and one top in the bar. Awesome. Weeded. Stressed. Pissed. Sweating my ass off. I finally got a chance to catch my breath and tell my manager to fuck himself.

When I FINALLY had time to smoke a well earned damn cigarette, I notice a laminated letter posted on the back door…”If I find any more cigarette butts on the ground, a mandatory cleaning session will be invoked as well as everyone smoking privileges will be revoked”. Fuck you…and for that, I threw a cigarette butt down right outside the door on the curb. You suck for dividing my sections to two opposite sides of the restaurant two fucking nights in a row. (Seriously…I know other restaurants sometimes do that to their servers, but it NEVER happens at mine…which is why it pisses me off to no end because I know they are out to get me. Why? Who knows…I get at least one compliment from my table to my manager every shift so they need to hop off their high horse. Ugh!!)

‘Tis is a question every server asks themselves at one point or another. Tonight, I had a party of eight adults. Not only were they immediately rude and cranky, but I was assigned to them even though my section was literally at the other side of the restaurant. Why? My manager wants me to rip all of my fingernails off and quit. Nevertheless, I gave them great service to the best of my ability (considering I was busy tending to other tables, one of which proceeds to tip me $4 on $39-this left me stunned because they were the sweetest couple I think I’ve ever met in my life). My party of eight’s bill came to an overwhelming $82 (please please note the sarcasam) all thanks to our bottomless soup and salad option. I knew immediately I had to grat them or I wasn’t going to make a damn thing off of them. The restaurant I work at leaves it up to the server’s disgression to grat (18%) a bill for 8+ people. Since I was super busy, I had my manager drop off my checks for me, and about twenty minutes later when I had a chance, I went and picked up the checks…thank you for not even leaving me a penny extra on top of your grat. You annoyed me for almost two hours and felt I deserved nothing more than what you were forced to leave me? Thank you…I will remember your sweet tea drinking, obnixious ass screaming and mess making selves the next time you step over the threshold.

Morning shift tomorrow…this should be fun. It’s always either old people who want to take up one of my tables and drink decaf coffee for three and a half hours, or business men who feel even if I were to strap a jet pack on my back I wouldn’t be moving fast enough…GO TO MCDONALDS YOU DUMBASS. THEY HAVE A DRIVE THROUGH.

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING THE PAST FEW DAYS! I’ve been super sick…probably from working myself to the bone. However, I come bearing news of evil doers in the world:

– The other night (I lose track of the days since I have one IF ANY days off every week) this family of seven comes in. Yes…seven. And they assured me they have like five or six other kids at home (not that they were unsure of how many they had at home…I just can’t remember what they said). Well I am like WOOHOO a party of seven! That means a bill over $100 which means a tip of like $15 or $20 which I was real excited about because it had been a slow night. Well…turns out they had to wait for my booth for about 45 minutes (they originally wanted a table but since the three tables we have that fit seven people were full, they had to wait but got impatient so decided to split themselves into two booths in my section). Well, the one daughter tries to order the salmon which we happen to be out of, and then decides SHE’S NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE. Okay…I still have six others willing to order right? Wrong. Three of the remaining six are children which proceed to order their $4 meals off the kid’s menus. The dad of the clan orders a huge steak…only to grab my manager (physically) and starts screaming that his steak is not cooked right and their is hair in his food. For the record…it wasn’t my hair, it was his hair from the huge rat-tail he had slapping his neck all night as he gobbled and chowed down. Of course he gets his steak taken off the bill and what should have been a $100+ tab turns out to be a $37 and change tab. They then tell me I am the best server they have had at our restaurant, and will definitely request me next time. Please feel free. You were a pain in my ass but I will accept a $12 tip on a $37 tab ANYDAY.
– Tonight, I had three tweens sit in my section. Clearly, two of them were awkwardly dating and the third came along to make things even more awkward for everyone. They annoyed me from the minute I walked up to the table screaming about wanting more free bread and more ice for their waters (of course). Since they all didn’t have mommy or daddy to order their burgers for them, it was a world crisis that NONE of them knew how to order a burger. After spening literally six minutes explaining how we cook our burgers, they all stared blankley and ordered. When it comes time to bring them their bill, the total was like $27. They hand me $30 and I said “Do ya’ll need some change”. “YES MA’AM!”. Shit…of course. After sticking around for an hour and making a mess at one of my tables in my three table section, they left me a crumpled $5. Whatever.

That’s all for tonight…I really need to get some sleep. That is if I can…the boyfriend is snoring my ear off. Night!

My boss has GOT to be scrooge…he scheduled nearly every server to work on Christmas Eve. Nonetheless, we close at 4 PM…why in the world do we need 11 servers on the floor? Not only do I have to waste my Christmas Eve morning, wake up early, but now I’m not going to make ANY fucking money because how busy is it really going to be? It’s so pointless. Not only that but my boyfriend and I have to drive 3 hours to drive to his parent’s house after my shift so we won’t even be arriving to their house until about 9 or 10 PM. Ridiculous.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve been in the holiday spirit since the moment I started cleaning my dishes from Thanksgiving. The month of December, I honestly feel so giving. At the same time, every time I receive a tip (or lack there of), I wonder if I am the only one who realizes that we are days away from Christmas. What’s up with the ten percent tips lately? I mean…last night I was shitted on but this ignorant redneck country family but luckily I got a tip from every table tonight.

I was lucky enough to have my first table be these two old ladies who apparently were on their way to an ugly sweater party …one ordered a half club which comes with a soup. The other lady ordered…just a soup. I knew I had big spenders on my hands, ecspecially when they asked three times to make sure we don’t charge for water, which we obviously don’t. I knew their bill wasn’t going to be high, and I was right: their total bill came to about $13 and then they told me they were going to be on split checks. I got a dollar as my tip…even after I gave the one lady who ordered just the soup an EXTRA cup of soup because she said there wasn’t enough broth in the first one. The customer is always right, right?

I ended up working damn near six hours for a mere $41. Not only that, but my managers need to learn to trust their employees and not criticize EVERYTHING we do. Because apparently they must have something shoved so deep up there and its making them turn into maniacs. Oh! I’m sorry you are on salary and probably made $200 tonight to shine a flashlight under my tables only to scream that I didn’t sweep as good as you would like…because I just spent the last five and a half hours dealing with cranky old stingy motherfuckers, for $41. Get the hell out of here.

I have the next two nights off HOWEVER I will still be updating 🙂 Night!

Okay so…I admit…I’ve never in my lifetime blogged before. However, for the past few weeks since starting my new job at a steakhouse, I have been completely OBSESSED to the point of staying up until 4:30 in the morning reading server’s blogs (vents haha). Tonight at work I had a server’s nightmare…being stiffed on a $65+ bill after literally being ran to death for nearly two hours. I’ve NEVER had this happen before, and just couldn’t shake the feelings of pissed-off-edness. Immediately as I was claiming my whopper tip from the big spender at 501, I said to myself I’M STARTING A FUCKING BLOG TONIGHT BECAUSE IT’S NOT HEALTHY TO HOLD IN MY FURIOUSITY! So…here I am. Honestly…if no one even reads a word I pound out on my laptop, it won’t make me upset because I’m doing what I need to do to keep my sanity and my job 🙂 I do hope to entertain people, though, and I also hope other people can relate to me! I wanted to do an “intro” first blog post so basically I’ll make it short and sweet…I’m 19 years old and have been serving for about three months now. At first I was super excited about the money, but now I’m just daily getting more pissed off about how patheticly cheap our society is. Unfortunately, I have bills to pay and shit to buy so I need a job, and slinging round after round of ranch, sweet tea and french fries is what’s keeping the lights on. I can’t complain because I’m fortunate to have a job…but damn sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I had a sugha daddy 😉 haha. Well anyway that’s it for tonight because I really need to learn to be familiar with this website. I promise to update after every shift (trust me…I always have stories for days after a mere 4 hour shift). Night!