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There’s a myth that balance (or peace, as I describe it in the above video for some of my CEO Changemaker Mastermind clients earlier this week) has to look a certain way. Listen in as I share how I juggle and make sure to take of myself while I also take good care of the other VIPs in my life.

I hope you find this share on elusive “balance” helps you meet it.

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,

Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

p.s. The crazy-cool surprise I’ve mentioned a couple times is (still) coming…stay tuned! We wanted to send you more about it by today, however, there are fires raging in my area of Los Angeles and so we are focusing a bit more energy on that (this means being ready to evacuate as my area is next on the list). I can’t wait to experience this surprise or experience I have waiting for you. Be warned: this is not your typical surprise or gift from a coach. (-; Keep your eyes peeled; don’t want to miss this.

I’ve had more potential clients than I can count tell me over the years how disillusioned they are with the coaching industry. I’ve never shared thoughts publicly around it —

Though I have felt some of what I’ve heard the last seven years while being a coach, more so than I ever did in the nine years prior when running my design business (not being a coach), this is a larger business, trust and money situation.

In fact, what I’m going to share with you next has served and maybe it will you, too, as you continue to grow your company/business/practice:

(think of it as)

I come from an industry of one.

You come from an industry of one.

Uniquely finding, creating and expressing your place in the world professionally that adds to the collective personality.

Build with that in mind and you will ask more from yourself and, therefore, shift what we expect and ask for as a collective…

When you move through your work life like this, you drown out the guru, money, you need this or need me to be successful noise and you feel a peace that is essential to share your FULL talents with as many people as possible…in short, remembering what it’s really about, and, therefore, as a purposeful result, making exactly the money you want.

In using this filter or shifting the perspective, I don’t mean, turn a blind eye to the issues you have seen, but I do mean, ~> do the in integrity, focused on bringing about real meaning and change thing, the generous, teaching something you have life or professional experience in thing, you know, do the human you thing louder than ever have SO THAT you help those very issues.

Go old school — serve and genuinely support someone and another someone and another, day in and day out, especially when the cameras are not on…do right by people and you will change what you don’t like…that’s it, no drama, simply daring to change by being that change.

But, again, it’s not (just) the coaching industry and this is what I most want to open the conversation up to today —

This disillusionment points to a larger Pandora’s box in society, our human “industry” and how we (including myself here) have put power, notoriety or influence and money first.

We tend to put all of it (our ego self) higher on the mantle than the very human lives we’ve been entrusted with.

Burn it down, start again — and I think we are…

What many feel is also very much a consequence of the virtual world we live in and how far or distant we’ve gotten from our clients. We don’t talk about this enough. When I started my design and consulting business after leaving the ad industry in 2001 sans social media and sans finding clients via the internet, the (one-to-one and) face-to-face model going strong, there weren’t these same things being discussed. (If you’re not getting results with the virtual, find people who still value and create opportunities for the non-virtual within the industry that you can afford or invest in).

The truth is, being high tech has helped us all connect our talents to those in all parts of the world who need them. Just as grateful as I am for what the coaching industry DOES absolutely do for people (it changes lives in so many ways), I am also grateful for the high tech and virtual. It’s simply up to all of us to use them responsibly…

In other words, if we’re missing the high touch way (the ‘people first’ approach in our virtual business or marketing and/or, generally, in the way we or others move about this new age professional world), what are we building behind our computers? For me, it’s always a question of what decisions, at the end of my life, and what priorities will I have been most proud of? Again, old school…you know, the rocking chair theory.

Will we be most proud we got the additional 5, 15, 25 or 100 more people to join our latest program, made the million dollar mark goal or that we fully supported those 100 or 1,000,000 people, always looking out for their best interests?

It may feel like we’re splitting hairs or saying the same thing above as they, of course, are or can be connected, but it’s not the same thing or we shouldn’t imply, anyway, that making money always means we are doing it with integrity. Intention is everything. Is it plain money or meaning money we’re after?

I understand that as business owners we want to make (more) money or that we finally need to get over the hump and make a real profitable go at this, however, if you’re working with someone because, be honest, you were seduced primarily by their money results than ever digging into the other stuff, then, the onus is on you, too.

There must be a connection and a depth of relating to the rest so you feel empowered and you leave that relationship filled and with all-encompassing results you most want to create.

Get clear about why you are choosing someone — be honest about what’s important and speak to your full self, human, and soul. And, if you’re the chosen, move forward with that client or group as if you are creating your own industry or brand of one within an industry…because you (always) are.

In the end, we always get what we’ve let guide our decision process (ego/mind/fear or gut/intuition/synergy?). And, money is always well spent. If you’ve worked with someone who taught you what you didn’t want to do in your own business, that is not less valuable than someone who taught what you DO want to do.

In short, if you make decisions mainly to create to a financial end, you will almost always be dissatisfied or disillusioned, because your truest self, deep down, doesn’t only want or need that.

Legacy (on both the coaches and coach side) isn’t built with a pile of money, it’s built with the people you prioritize and see as people first, second and third, not as the participants or clients who will help you reach the financial goal in a program or year.

Work with people who you relate to.

Work with people who make you feel like a person from that first email or sales call.

Work with people you’ve watched do their thing for a while…

You’ll feel it.

You’ll know it.

Just don’t ignore IT. (I= Your Intuition, T= Your Truth)

In other words, stop brushing aside what you have a gut sense about and that is most important to you to do what you think the “cool” kids are doing. (The “cool” kids are looking for meaning, too).

As a coach/consultant/mentor (whatever the title, don’t get too focused on that, really it’s all people work) talk about and search for those who can help you build the money you want. Money is what helps our businesses continue to do the great work they do, but make sure, too, to speak and work with people you have an actual connection with (albeit virtual) and that you, deep down, trust that they can help move you to money results, without only focusing on that. If you know you want a depth to that money, choose based on that. But resist pure money for money’s sake being the thing that consistently speaks loudest…

Make revenue a priority (please do) and make sure that you and anyone you work with are keeping, in mind and heart, that this money comes from a human being that deserves great care.

In short, go back to feeling what this industry of one you want to continue to build is about — what do you value and what’s THE value…focus on the “meaning money” you want to make and find someone who will help you get there.

The truest of true is that the coaching industry helps millions of people every day. Hats off. And, it has the best chance to continue if we each hold ourselves accountable for building the legacy we will be most proud of.

Your identity is who you say you are, not what others or who others say you are, nor the stories or limitations you may feel you come from…

I was born Kryshnna Michelle Boy to Nancy Carolina Motta de Rivera and Willy (Wilhelm) Boy de Gallego.

They were married at 15 and 19 years old, respectively.

I actually liked the name my young parents gave me (ended up liking it even more after starting my yoga practice 12 years ago), but life and my soul’s path had other plans.

Life is the adventure it is so we may learn (remember) that, although the outside can be ever-changing, we’re to find that place inside where there’s always calm…

Listen to the space between the words…

Values, passions, beliefs, truth and a connection to spirit or a spirituality is what gives you identity and longevity (and what keeps you feeling grounded, safe, aligned and in integrity).

I remember receiving one of my first credit reports many, many years ago and seeing about three of the following names on it and laughing. It was a deeply pensive time and yet laughter, my go to, was always in the back pocket of the jeans or jean shorts I loved wearing (laughter ~ a human way to cope or get through AND spirit’s tool as well, likely for a similar reason):

Michelle Kryshnna Boy — five year- old girl living in Guatemala one minute and leaving Guatemala the next on a PanAm flight to a home filled with more gentleness.

Michelle Boy — Twelve-year-old to an eighteen-year-old girl whose grandmother had planned the escape years earlier and embarrassed of the name Kryshnna, took it upon herself to wipe records clean of the name, regardless of what my Mom thought about it. She was one cheeky, strong lady.

Michelle Boy-Ghilotti — Adopted by a new Dad, as gentle as the grandfather I had lived with for seven years, but holding on by a thin dash to a life I wanted to know more about…tell me more about, Oma/Mom. I’d get pieces…but I couldn’t really put them together just so (can’t help but hear Dolly Parton’s “Coat of Many Colors” lyrics here).

Michelle Ghilotti — The cling was a fling and I became a full-fledged Ghilotti, excited to be one thing only realizing, of course, that we are many things from the many different people that had a hand…I didn’t talk openly for years to come about the life that preceded that dash. But, it felt good to live and move on and, at the same time, was confusing — for others as much as myself. What was the real story and, in turn, the real Kryshnna… Michelle…?

Michelle Ghilotti Mandel — The story came full circle, no dash found and now I was both adopted and married. {I had to pause reading this back, gulp}. I wasn’t confused 16 years ago, having asked most, if not all of the tough questions I most needed answers to. I had also told many good friends the real truth and nothing but the truth in regards to this life story and the many details I’m leaving out right now. In fact, it had been years of truth-telling and diving deeper into the story of self, which is likely why taking on the names of these two gorgeous guys felt more than ok, though there was always a part of me who wanted to buck the old-school system…I am not owned and I have my own identity (and am more than at peace with the history inside originally given names), but thank you. Ever felt this way?

In fact, it’s the happiest I remember being throughout this journey of names, people, stories and places. Likely because the two gentlemen I said yes to at 18 and 27 said yes to me with the same verve. In fact, they both asked with such love in their hearts that in many ways, they said yes first. Name X or name Y, I knew who I was ~ deeply loved…isn’t that all we have to know…and give?

Isn’t that all we have to know…and give?

Looking down at that credit report many moons ago, I thought about all the lives we feel we live inside one life: the names, relationships, losses, gains, experiences…they all create a wide spectrum of emotion, resilience, story, perspective, and personality.

When we welcome it all, with a dash — of light or lightness — we’re able to create one hell of a storybook (not to be confused with perfect) life…

It’s no surprise sitting here today, with three total gentlemen in front of me (one a gentle pup), that, coming from that first household which shut a woman down for being herself and coming from a life where my identity was constantly changing, that I do identity work AND that I adopted myself and married into homes that build women up…

God has a sense of humor and gives us exactly the story and life experience needed to do sacred and profound work in the world because we, ourselves, are sacred and profound works…

Though I was confused growing up, it was hard to feel too confused inside love (which I had a lot of) — or, inside the feeling of peace that eventually comes with telling your true story ~ first, of course, to yourself.

Tell your story from yesterday and, as importantly, tell the one you’re stepping into today and tomorrow’s tomorrow.

It’s both that will set you free.

You come from love and are made anew each day inside it…

[My name tag and place card from last night’s event which made me sentimental, thinking all about all of the above. More humor: the name I added to my credit report ~ “Mandel” ~ is Josh’s adopted name as well, so, somewhere in between, maybe inside Nolan, the real and whole truth lies.

Just because something isn’t working, doesn’t mean it’s you. It’s simply part of the process.

Your worth as a person needn’t be called into question every time you’re in the creative (very human) process of getting there…

When you can separate your worth from exploits going wrong (or right!) and begin to process pain and failure in a way that trusts and says “If it didn’t work this time, well then that means I must be getting that much closer to it working” is when you’ll land on the only real process that works every time:

Believing in yourself (the self that can separate her value as a human being from anything that does or does not happen in her life).

In other words, the secret to your success will have been that you kept going.