Am I Blue?

This project is called ‘Am I Blue?’. It is about illness and survival, hope and regret, being both joyful and fearful. It derives from my experience as a HIV+ man and a long term survivor. I hope that this work resonates with others who have similar experiences and with those who have loved them.

In the last few years, I’ve been creating visual images that capture different aspects of being positive. Facing HIV has been a major task of my life. These images expose the struggles that might exist alongside well-being and gratitude.The effects of years of loss, uncertainty and survival has marked me in many ways creating unexpected symbols and unforeseen reactions. I’ve seen other respond in similar ways. Some of my self portraiture, not only represents myself but also others.

The initial work has broaden to form a second bodies of work called “The Materials of Survival“. It uses the drugs and other paraphernalia that a HIV+ person needs to interact with in order to live with this disease.

Looking at the world through pill bottles. Life’s Interpretations colored blue After decades, a psychic toil collected

A positive test My relationship with my body changes Watching for signs Mistrust and fear reigns It continues still

Double exposure, two ideas The ritual of medication A memorial stone Struggling with our illness and our relationship with the dead (formerly Eat / Mourn)