2016-12-31

Social media can be disgusting. Trollers are the most pathetic idiots wearing blinkers and the garb of misplaced patriotism to give the world lessons. It's the most shameful thing that happened when Kareena Kapoor Khan gave birth to a baby boy and christened him Taimur Khan to see Twitter resorting to all kind of name calling and insults. We are shameful as people.

What's in a name? one is tempted to ask. The kind of hate that poured on Twitter reveals the character of people sitting idle and not doing anything worthwhile on the internet. It's a shame how some people are hating the parents, Saif and Kareena, and the innocent baby that came into this world. I mean, how ridiculous can it get with folks who got nothing to do with the child, resort to name calling and questioning the patriotism of the parents. Nowadays, everyone decides for the other. What is the relationship between the name of a child and patriotism?

Minding one's own business is something that most of us don't get and we barge uninvited into the lives of others, claiming to be the biggest patriots of all. Those social media bigots had a field day, questioning the parents and it's shameful to see the name calling, slut shaming, and verbal abuse. It makes one wonder whether isn't it high time to send the abusers to jail for spreading such hatred. There are so many national issues, such as demonetisation, corruption and how to make India better as a country rather than poking one's nose into other people's personal matters.

We have become such fearless bastards wearing a veil and hiding behind social media to type 140 odd words as if it's our sole claim to fame. Such trollers go on a rampage, thinking it's their birthright to save the world and we are the new soldiers to guard the country against names. At least, do something better with your life. Spewing such abuse rather than spreading love reflects on our herd and stone age mentality! It shows what kind of upbringing such haters have got and how desperate they can get. It's such a sick mentality.

Perhaps, it's a psychological thing for such spineless 'bastards' to show their chauvinism and aggression on the internet. It shows one thing: How suppressed emotions we have and we get a sadistic pleasure in venting out on people that never harmed us in the first place. I wonder on this form of defense mechanism to justify on our own shortcomings as human beings. We are the first one to be racist. It's just a name people. You have a name. No one hates you for that. Your name doesn't make you a patriot or a good human being but it's your deeds.

One can only hope that we will be more compassionate and spread love rather than hatred as we usher in a brand new year. It's the very least we can do in our personal life, relationships and on social media. Make a vow not to be spineless to attack an innocent baby. It's not cool to mock someone or spread hatred, questioning their patriotism.

There are quite a few Xmas stories where I waited with bated breath for Santa Claus as a child, polishing my shoes in shining black on the eve with the hope to secretly watch the protruded belly of the white bearded dude filling them with toys. I waited vainly at night. The excitement went for a toss when I slept.

Trust the parents to fool you with the lamest excuses on Xmassy Day that I shouldn't have slept and Santa in red hood waited in vain but had to leave since he is old and must attend to so many children. I innocently asked whether they gave him Coke that I made Dad buy for him. I was told he had a little in a mug. I stormed my way and forgot about Santa's plight to possessively clutch the toy gun, lego and cars that Santa gave me and showed to the neighbor children.

Spasm of Xmas memory and naughty me flashes in the mind as if it was yesterday only that I was a child. I remember the fancy toy guns and funky yellow paper sunglasses that I forced Mom to buy at the shop when I almost broke in tears to have them all. Tears and children, I tell you! It's the best weapon to fake mass destruction of the heart as if the world gonna end.

It was the same story every Xmas for me when I smartly rolled on the floor in front of shops lining up flashy and colorful toys. My objects of fascination were always guns and cars. Mom got wind of this natak that she called a cop doing sentry and in no time, I was up in arms. Of course, not without sulking. On another occasion. I would ask Mom for my bath and was ready by 2 o'clock, waiting for Dad to come home early since he promised so that we would all go together to buy my toys. I waited and waited with patience, fearing that Pop will come late today. I almost cried.

Finally, Dad came and went out. Once. I got a bicycle as Xmassy present and the next day, tricking Pop to get me an automatic police van for 75 bucks only. You press on it and the engine rolls back. What fun it was! The magic and hot wheels,

It was Xmas day and I wanted this toy vehicle but Mom wouldn't relent. She had to visit some relatives and once she was out, I convinced Dad to take me to that shop to buy choco. When we went there, I grabbed the toy and never relented to let it go. I was Pop's favorite and he had no choice after all for the apple of his eyes. See! Emotional blackmail always worked for me.

2016-12-23

Crush! This magical fairytale of falling in love with someone special as films, novels and stories paint an idyllic definition of the perfect person whose shortcomings we learn to blindly ignore. We revel, 'How smoking hot and beautiful she or he is.' A moment of thunder that pierces the heart and makes us vibrate to the tune of mushy Hindi romantic songs and as lovelorn us leap and fly in the air.

Image sourced from; Buzzfeed

It's our crush spot whether we are teens, growing adults or mature men and women. It's love in the air and the wind of change make us go sheepishly red. Crush is a hot virus that looms in the atmosphere that leaves no one immune to it. Certainly, not hearts longing for that touch, intimate kiss or making out in the open or dark garden that would put Adam and Eve to shame.

1. Teeny weeny love

Remember our teen days where our hearts were beating for the damsel carrying herself with grace in the bright yellow skirt or blue jeans that made our hearts beating frantically. It's how we go blind in love for that person where we race against time to introduce ourselves and propose with a red rose. The holding of hands and shyly kissing on the cheek and progressing to the lip as we bury our heads in shame for indulging in sin and again, looking tenderly into each other's ears before whispering sweet little nothings. I remember penning secret poems and love letters! Hey, my generation was not ahead of its time for we never dared to make out on the first date.

2. Love Duet

Memories of crush spot seem like wanna singing a love duet the Hindi films way where romance was all about flashy clothes or gentlemanly suit and the lady love in saree, going full swing the romantic way. The five minutes song was all about telling an entire lifetime of romance and love, to our crush how we will make the most beautiful couple on earth. The simplicity of calf love, the longing and how easily our heart broke into tiny pieces before the Crush Spot easily moves to another target. Time for another love duet. How our C-Spot changes from one romantic interest to another, as we seek to find idyllic romance.

3. Breezy touch

Silly lil' crush stroke our senses like the electrifying jolt that smears our G-spot and feels like a breezy touch on our skin that reminds us that we are mortals that gotta behave like one...you know kissing, intimacy and having sex. There is no age or reason to have a crush on someone and whether it's in sweet 16, college days or mid-30s, it makes us dream of love and kissing with the same burning passion. Love is a breezy touch that doesn't spare us, a bit like Harry Potter magic wand. The best thing is crushing on someone makes us youthful in our hearts and minds, going back to the first days of crush spot and suddenly, life becomes so beautiful and jazzy. Believe in love, bare and dare to make love shedding the cloak of shame to tread the unchartered body zones or territory. It may be a harmless fling but works wonders for your soul.

4. Labon ka Karobar

Cut to 2016. Crush spot is the zone of ending it all with passionate kiss and smooches, exploring every inch and zone to taste nectar on the lip. It's the generation of millennials where Gen X doesn't shy in getting intimacy inked on the first date and indulging in Labon ka Karobaar. It's the changing equation in relationships, crushes which nowadays is more like one night stand or casual sex, for that matter. The crush zone is getting hotter by the day with the new age, dudes and babes indulging in kissing and forgetting but not telling. Crush spot has differed for each generation and time for us in our middle age to accept how Gen X do it and indulge in fun.

2016-12-18

It's the time of the year when folks reflect on achievements, disappointments and making new resolutions for the upcoming year. It gets back to square one in my case. Trust me on that. I am so horrible with assessments and resolutions that I have stopped doing that.

As a year almost ends, I wonder to what extent I have grown as a person and no, I am not cursing the grey hair or beard showing. Na! Not even referring to hormonal change, dearies. Ok! It's a bad joke. There will always be disappointments where it seems nothing is working and the whole universe is fucking your happiness with small dollops of joy that gives a momentary high. Perhaps, a good way is to measure up the scale of highs and lows. Every day is a new day and don't let dampeners get to the mind. It's how I intend to take things forward rather be an emotional wreck, a kinda of dukkhi aatma crying over every single drop of spilt milk.

It's important for us to find opportunity in adversity or what we may call 'failures' for there is always a lesson behind where we learn, unlearn and learn again. Life is like a ball that keeps spinning like the revolving earth.

Things have changed a lot for me over the years. I have been able to learn from my failures and dare to take risks that I wouldn't normally do since I felt at some point that yours truly got nothing to lose. It happens when you are the most vulnerable. I was like, how much it can get worse. Luckily, things paid off for me.

With time, I have learned to be more patient and not to get angry with people or things anymore for there is little I can do to change the attitudes of fucked up people. I am much more composed as a person and try not to overreact but Act. It makes a hell lot of difference when you don't give in to provocation and act in a normal manner.

The mistakes made in the past gave me more confidence and served as a gentle reminder how I can win the battle without being impatient or restless. I am a work in progress who keep improving every single day, learning to get better at things without competing with others. I choose to compete with myself.

This year it got me thinking how important it is to prioritize ourselves over others where we should never be an option in other people's lives, doesn't matter if they are close relatives or not. One shouldn't be bound by obligations for it never works in real life. Value yourself first. Love yourself. It's damn important. Once you do that, all New Year resolutions or yearly assessment can and should go down the drain.

I am still the same person but my priorities and outlook on life have changed a helluva lot. I am also in the process to cut down my smoking and it's been going well for 2 weeks, a far cry from the chain smoker that I was to drastic alteration in lifestyle. It's one plus point towards the year end.

My mantra would be: Strive, avoid negative people or energy, meditate, be with the self and prioritize life as well as doing things that make one happy. Be a risk taker and take the plunge.

2016-12-14

The definition of love has altered like the game of truth and dare, holding no bare and getting bolder in an expression of sipping a steamy hot cup of coffee. The young generation doesn't seek moral approval and indulges in intimacy, kissing minus the emotional baggage. It's love, the Befikre way of expressing emotions minus the commitment quotient.

The game of love is altering over time. It's the same Adi Chopra who gave us one of the most beautiful love stories, DDLJ where the hero refuses to elope with his lady love, choosing to tread the unchartered path. In Befikre, Vani Kapoor shamelessly says, I am just checking his ass, a far cry from DDLJ where love meets tradition. The Ranveer Singh-Vaani Kapoor starrer is all about tapping the pulse of generation next of kissing, making out and forgetting next day.

In an age where couples use electric gadgets as a substitute for sex and intimacy-Yes! A friend just wrote about it in a newspaper column- love can best be expressed as guilty and sinful pleasure, chucking out the heavy emotional balance. Films are an imitation of real life. The practicality of making out at a time when people are busy in their professional life and an increasing reluctance to commit which takes a toll on life provides the much-needed snuggling comfort and emotional balance for humans. We are busy, as humans. Believe it or not, we are still humans and we long for that emotional touch whether it's long distance love, soppy romance, a touch is all we need. It doesn't matter whether we crave for the momentary pleasure or seeking a long term affair.

Loving and living the Befikre way has been echoed in several India Today year sex survey where the young generation look for thrill not just in big cities but also in small towns. For instance, the youth are on Tinder and other mobile applications to check out for a date that fulfills the missing gap in their lives.

Image sourced from Google/Befikre still

The young generation believes on the in-your-face mantra of living and letting live. They are never shy in telling on the face what they think about love and being clingy is a matter buried in the past. Independence, be it in a relationship or living away from parents is what they look for. It's the change which mirrors a society which is ever-evolving where dating doesn't equate to falling in love but living in the present.

Love seeks no moral justification. There was the time of Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu, Till Death Do Us Apart or couples eloping and fighting out the patriarchal definition of fulfilling social and dogmatic obligations. The concept of human relationships has always evolved. Befikre love is not telling us something new that will blow our minds.

Every generation has got a tale of relationship to narrate and it's high time for us to accept the change that ushers with time, The generation gap is just an excuse to oppose everything by flinging the high moral ground of how our generation was superior in moral outlook. It's simple: Adapt to the change or perish.

Be a befikre in love. Grow up in each and every relationship to chuck out attachments that kills the beauty of romance.