This column should be read while listening to “Little Eeefin’ Annie” by Joe Perkins (running time: 2 minutes, 10 seconds).

• In case you missed it, Major League Baseball’s regular season actually began in the wee small hours of Saturday morning as the Los Angeles Dodgers defeated the Arizona Diamondbacks 3-1 in Sydney, Australia. Good that the most American of sports is starting its season in another hemisphere.

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