“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1,500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States, stood up and held up a rock.

“Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old, and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day, and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room, perched atop the American Flag, and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate cross the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.