trying to master life as a working wife and mother

Over a year ago I decided that I would track events of our life. Not just events but real life experiences, thoughts that go through my head, trials and errors we have as a family, things we learned, dreams we have and really, how I (we’ve) tackled this life of ours.

It started out wonderfully. I was able to really think, plan and write out some good stuff. I enjoyed that time so much. It was really nice to be able to write like that, almost like therapy in a way, expression in a different way. But then life happened. The posts got shorter, more time in between and eventually came to a halt.

I have skimmed through some of the things that I wrote and reflected on and while there are a lot of things that still occur and we are still working hard, there really has been an improvement in some aspects. We have made a lot of strides toward our goals. I was happy to realize this, especially because so much time has passed by. It reinforces that the journey we are on is the right one.

We have so much more to learn, experience, and see but knowing that there are ways to ‘track’, if you will, gives me the drive to make the time to be able to capture these experiences, moments, and feelings we will go through. I remember thinking how cool it would be for our kids to be able to look back and be able to feel what it was like for us to have these experiences. Children will grow and forget. They will never know how much this all meant to us as parents. Not until they become parents one day themselves.

I really want to be able to capture the meaningful aspects of our lives for the kids (I hope they will appreciate it) and to illustrate what our experiences were like. In real time.

I feel like I need to write a whole blog on all the things I’ve missed in the past few months. Just to make up the lost time.

Maybe, life has been getting easier (😳dare I say that?!) or are we just getting better at it? Maybe that’s why I haven’t had the urge or need to reflect?

Time is so much more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you can’t get more time…

It just dissipates …. like smoke into thin air. Where does it go? Why does it go so fast?
For me, days seem to be ok. We all know how long some days can be, but it is the weeks, the weeks are so freaking fast. Just like that, poof – gone! Never mind the the years… oh the years!

I want to write about all the ways I struggle with time, but that would be just one big endless complaint. Instead, I will focus on how to overcome this too well known problem that most of us encounter at some point in our lives.

It has now become a realization that its’s just how it goes. So how do we make it work in our favour? Grab a hold of it and not let it go, stop complaining about how it goes so fast and truly embrace it…

Ikea’s campaign ‘make #EverySecond count’ captures the essence of it all because yes, we should make all those seconds meaningful. This is our life, we only have one to live. Enjoy all of what you have. I know there will be times where it just doesn’t seem possible. I know, because I have a lot of those moments, (my husband will tell you how quick-tempered I can be) but from now on, I will try harder. Try to cherish every, single, moment I have with the loved ones in my life. Because that’s what really matters, the relationships we build with them. Recognizing this, makes this even more necessary.

Try it! Make every second count. Once you start practicing it, it’s actually quite exhilarating.

I can recall several times where I would be in the middle of doing something and the kids would be calling me, whether it was to show me something, or they wanted something. I wouldn’t stop what I was doing and just reply as to acknowledge them but not give my full attention… because, ‘I was busy’. I found this happening more and more frequently. This is not okay, and I recognize this now.

The fact that you can stop, change your perspective, give a positive response or simply just noticing your behaviour, is the start to it all. Be able to see every interaction from their eyes. Think of how your children see you. They greet you with the utmost excitement, they seek your approval for everything, they want your constant attention, they think we are the greatest people in the world and they want to share all of their experiences with US. We need to be more like them!

But… Time

Time gets in the way, all the time! We all just need more time.

So far, the success that makes me feel like I’m winning at this time game has been all the time that I put into planning, to make more time, for time. Follow? Right.

But so far, a few things I’ve learned in making our daily lives a little less busy so we can find time to spend more quality time with our kiddies and each other.

Multi-tasking is key. I try to do other tasks while I’m waiting for other things. So, when dinner is cooking, lunches/breakfast/prep for other dinners get made, packed and put away. When the kids are involved in an activity, I will fold the laundry while at the table with them still trying to interact and give attention.

Food preparation is a great time saver. We like to cook a roast (or two!) on a weekend and make it last for several dinners and lunches for the following week. This keeps with our clean eating goals as we only need to reheat our meats and prep fresh veggies to go with our meals (saves us some dollars too). Cooking in batches (ie: crock pot meals), prepping snacks, salads and oatmeal in to go containers is one of the most useful ideas I’ve stolen from Pinterest.

Help is needed! Aunties, uncles and grandparents to the rescue! (I think living a little closer to them has definitely helped). We are so very thankful that we have so much support from our families who want to spend time with the kids. This allows us parents to find the time to spend together.

Our continued learning on how to beat time will become a mission in our household. We certainly do not want to be saying that our lives have passed us by.

Make stuff happen. Make time for the important stuff. Enjoy your time here. Your time is special.

Can’t get this song out of my head. My son loves it, my daughter and husband love to sing it to him, although it’s usually only that one part of the song.

But for real life, I haven’t blogged here in so long. Felt the obligation to get something down.

Not much has happened in the past little while except for the the fact that we are officially city homeowners! Welcome to the six!! So far, it has been amazing. The kids love the buzz of the streets and the streetcar rides along Queen Street. Mommy and daddy love being so much closer to the places we like to go. I am so in love with this house of ours and cannot wait to make it our own over the next few years.

It’s been a bit crazy over here and time had just been passing by too quickly. I am planning on getting my energy back to focus on me and my family.

A few things we have been working towards, (goals if you will) clean eating, simplicity, focussing on relationships, organization, finding structure and the ability to be flexible(mostly me).

Some major challenges with all of these, but nonetheless, a definite journey we are excited to take. It’s about synchronization. And we’re getting great at it!

Stay tuned for upcoming posts.

Ps. I seem to make a lot of music lyric quotes for my titles, which was not an intention. Funny. But I like music. A lot 😃

Minimalist : a person who is interested in keeping things very simple.

I’m sooo interested… and ready, let’s go! Let’s do this!

My inspiration came to fruition while trying to purge items from our home in order to have it ‘show well’ while trying to sell. It’s like an addiction… You start with a few things here and there, then it becomes an obsession… and then, a great feeling of complete satisfaction of letting go. (*singing* “let it go, let it go!” while holding hands up)

Once our house was officially on the market and the pictures were up, the place looked spectacular! Now, I know it won’t be like that ‘for real life’ with kids around but it sure doesn’t need to have all that crap that filled up all the space before. It just created anxiety because of the need to keep it all clean and organized. ( maybe that’s just my own madness )

I love the idea of keeping only the things that have great value or meaning. Why is it necessary to have duplicates of things? Or holding onto things things that are only used once a year ( like 25 extra wine glasses ) Also, who needs all those different small appliances? Not this girl, not any more! If it can’t be cooked on the oven, stovetop or BBQ, then it’s not simple enough!

So, moving into our new ‘small’ space in the ‘big’ city will be a great starting point to exercise and practice the simple life. We certainly won’t have much of a choice in terms of physical space which is the exciting part, a challenge to see if we really can do it.

Simple meal planning should be an easy thing to achieve especially while trying to eat the clean way. A clean meal does not have to require many ingredients, or a lengthy cooking method or extensive planning, thus making the whole process an easy one.

Having the freedom from consumer culture makes me elated, since, well, I hate shopping for myself and I like very few things. I’m a plain jane when it comes to fashion. I’ve recently discovered Project 333 by bemorewithless– a wicked awesome approach to simplifying your wardrobe while keeping your closets tidy, clutter free and essentially keeping money in your pockets. Check it out! I don’t ever make New Years resolutions but this may just be the one to do…

I realize that many of these ideas have been around for a long time and probably many people are already doing them, but I am just so thrilled to be planning for these (among all the other things I’ve talked about) new simplistic ways to live life happily.

Your father and I are being selfish. We are packing you up, pulling you out of your school and daycare and shipping off to a whole new community. And we can’t be more excited.

We know you will love it. We both grew up closer to the city and realized how much we actually love it and need to be near. We are constantly coming into the city for work and entertainment, our families are there and well, it’s just the best damn place. We have to live there!

We moved to the suburbs thinking that we wanted the big house, the yard, the sense of a community and to raise you in a safe environment.

Little did we know that our minds would change over the years. We have enjoyed over five wonderful years here and have made many memories in this place. We’ve added our touches to this home and hopefully another family will enjoy it as much as we have. We met wonderful people on our street and can only hope to keep in touch with them. But our time has come to move on.

Daddy and I have wanted to move for quite a while but the timing just wasn’t working in our favour. The Toronto Market has been a nightmare these past couple years. But, we were lucky enough to find a break and think we have purchased our forever home in a great neighborhood. It is a home that we can all live comfortably, not feel too far from one another, (or close), and one that I see us growing in together.

We truly believe that being in the city will open up more opportunities for you as you get older. We feel that the sense of community we were lacking will be present. This place with help us to live a more simplistic lifestyle and to allow us to relish quality time as a family.

I know it is tough for you right now. You are so young and won’t be able to appreciate it just yet.

Yes, you can bring all of your things with you, yes, we can keep in touch with your current friends (you will make so many new ones too), don’t be afraid to make changes. Change is a great thing!

There is something so special about being vulnerable… to your close family, friends and loved ones and in some instances, complete strangers. Being able to really open up about things, talk about those topics that no one brings up. You only hope that they would reciprocate. Otherwise, what’s the point?

My husband is so good at being able to get me to dig deep in my inner most thoughts and feelings which has allowed me to recognize and understand the way that I am. I have been able to be a better person in different ways because of this. He has taught me not to be afraid of being vulnerable anymore. And he keeps me in check all the time. Now, whatever I do, I do it with purpose.

We try to implement this when we are socializing with friends and family. We like to ask people’s opinions and thoughts on different things to see where their heads are at and how they deal with life’s tackles. I think most people we encounter are just shy or don’t want to be judged. If only more people were able to open up a lot sooner there would be a heck of a lot more to talk about!

Women, they are so competitive. ( Or at least a lot of women I have encountered in my earlier years) Why do we need to feel some sort of superiority or the need to feel like one is better than the other or they’ve had better experiences. You know those… who have it all, have done it all and know the answer to everything. It is not a competition. No one wants to disagree with you. We just want your companionship, your thoughts and ideas, contribution to the conversations/situations and sometimes just some help. When some women become mothers they have this sort of chip on their shoulder like they have it all under control. I was probably guilty of this at one time, not any more. (Because, let’s be honest, we were a know it all before having kids, right?) I’ve cried out for help a lot of times to many women and I appreciate every single thing I have learned from them.

Men are so much more open and honest about the realities of home life. Maybe we feel as if we have to prove something. When I realized that we are all in the same boat and that we should actually be helping one another out, I changed my perception around it. Now, I seek information from other mothers, I want to hear all about their experiences and how they deal with different situations. Its very comforting knowing that you are not the only one going through what could be a struggle at times.

My personal struggle with weight has always been a real issue with me. Since my vulnerability has opened up, I was able to find a supportive group whom I feel comfortable sharing my progress with. This has helped in so many ways and I’m so thankful to all those ladies who put themselves out there with me! Truly inspiring.

Maybe its age, that makes us wise. To not care anymore what others think of you. Be yourself. Be open. Be vulnerable.