Charlie Sheen Gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000

You know what they say: give a crackhead a fish and you’ll feed her for a day, but teach a crackhead to fish and she’ll probably fall off the boat and then you’ll have to deal with a bunch of lawsuits. Ha ha, but seriously. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan aren’t two peas in a pod, but two jackasses in a crack den, so when they came together to work on Scary Movie 5, it makes sense that they would have gotten close.

Ok, now let’s review an old story: Lindsay Lohan never pays her taxes. When she does manage to get a job, she spends all the money on meth or purses or whatever. And even now, right in the middle of her big comeback, she can’t manage to pay her taxes. So she owes the IRS a good amount of money: around $234,000.

Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen is a crackhead with a heart of gold and an unfathomable amount of money. So, as you might have gathered from the headline, he just gave Lindsay $100,000. Apparently she told him all about her financial problems while they were on set, and he just wrote up a check and sent it to her management team. Charming, right?

So here’s what I want to know: is Lindsay going to be Charlie’s next goddess? Do you just give women you meet on movie sets that much money? When is the sex tape going to be released, do you think? Important questions!

HAHAHA THE FISHING JOKE oh God Emily you crack me up. ALSO: how good does LiLo look on that mugshot? Is that her first arrest? Because she looks better on that photo than she did at the Liz & Dick premiere.