zmikers wrote:This is the problem I am facing. I support my wife 100 percent. She does not want to follow the strict Yue Zi rules (some she will follow), but everyone in her life treats her like an outcast because of this, to the extent of people taking time off work to visit her in order to "convince" her, and her sister almost disowning her. I really wish people would respect my wife's wishes. They are turning this beautiful time in our life into a nightmare.

This is why my wife did not go home for zuo yue zi but stayed away in or apartment and gets food delivered, keeps all these busy bodies at arms length. I feel your pain.

I can remember the fourth of July runnin' through the backwood bare. And I can still hear my old hound dog barkin' chasin' down a hoodoo there Chasin' down a hoodoo there.

Foot massageBack massagePick up takeoutStock the fridge and pantry with whatever your wife needs to produce wholesome milk for your child: beer, wine, cheese, baguette, fruit salads, soups, anything that strikes her fancy including nachos and pizza. When she says she wants organic ground white corn tortilla chips with homemade salsa, you better have fresh tomatoes on hand and Jason's supermarket on speed dialPick up maxi pads, witch hazel gel, hemorrhoid creams, whatever products are needed to ease the discomfort of her nether regions that gave birth to your child. Start googling those items in ChineseLearn you child's sleep pattern the moment s/he comes home. If your wife needs to wake you up to change a diaper, you better do it gladlyIf your wife is pumping, learn to warm a bottle. If formula, learn to make it. Laundry, washing bottlesDo not give unsolicited advice. Learn to take orders and complete the task at hand happily, and always ask what else you can do, and how you can do it better.

Hope this helps.

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Foot massageBack massagePick up takeoutStock the fridge and pantry with whatever your wife needs to produce wholesome milk for your child: beer, wine, cheese, baguette, fruit salads, soups, anything that strikes her fancy including nachos and pizza. When she says she wants organic ground white corn tortilla chips with homemade salsa, you better have fresh tomatoes on hand and Jason's supermarket on speed dialPick up maxi pads, witch hazel gel, hemorrhoid creams, whatever products are needed to ease the discomfort of her nether regions that gave birth to your child. Start googling those items in ChineseLearn you child's sleep pattern the moment s/he comes home. If your wife needs to wake you up to change a diaper, you better do it gladlyIf your wife is pumping, learn to warm a bottle. If formula, learn to make it. Laundry, washing bottlesDo not give unsolicited advice. Learn to take orders and complete the task at hand happily, and always ask what else you can do, and how you can do it better.

We get food delivered to our place three times a day, the Chinese really know how to cook nutritious food. The chicken and pork soups rock. We also have a nurse that drops by everyday to wash the baby, it's great being able to ask her advice too. Love the way everything is setup here.

I can remember the fourth of July runnin' through the backwood bare. And I can still hear my old hound dog barkin' chasin' down a hoodoo there Chasin' down a hoodoo there.

My wife 3 months preggers tells me the zuo yue zi was instigated in ancient times in the far north of China where winter is bitterly cold and people had neither air-conditioners nor de-humidifiers. The elite lived in big drafty castles, where new mothers with wet hair and no blow-dryers would die like flies. That's why rich men had multiple wives and several hundred concubines. Poor men could only afford one wife at the time but spent less money on heating their hovels.

According to my wife, it's OK to wash her hair within the first month of childbirth. The challenge is separating the myth from the science.

I think the best thing to do (other than hire help) is to show that you care to be informed or as infomerd as you can be. Show her you are talking to other parents, read books, watch documentaries...I think its all about psychology and making hee feel secure. Good luck!

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