What Makes a Lasting Friendship?

Authentic Friendships and Kenzoku.

What is it that makes a friendship solid and long lasting? Longevity in any type of relationship does not constitute success but I think in life we have such intimate connections with our friends, they are the people we rely on, have sacred bonds with and they color the world that we live in. Without friends to share in this magical and sometimes, not so magical journey, it just wouldn’t be the same without them would it?

Authentic friendships are precious. They are a mystical combination of compatible senses of humor, kind listening ears, feelings of closeness and trust and so much more. There is a sense of connectedness even if distance separates you. They are those people that aren’t related to you by blood but whom you choose to share in this journey and are also known as “family.”

What Makes a Good Friend?

It is an amazing thing when you are in those moments of deep connection and intimacy, sharing in that sacred space to check on how long you had been together and what seemed like 30 minutes was actually 3 hours. You lose track of all space and time and the moment is elongated and your heart is overflowing with love that you just cannot explain it. It is a limitless feeling of elation and joy. You forget about your external environment and you just share in the most beautiful connection.

It is hard to decipher and pinpoint all of the things that make up an authentic and friendship but I believe this list sums it up well. It embodies what I believe to be the foundation for true and authentic friendships. They really are an expression of this:

A True and Authentic Description of Friendship

A Friend:

Loves you unconditionally.

Accepts you as you are and gives you the freedom to be yourself.

Believes in you and doesn’t give up with you.

Calls you only to say “hello” and drops in to see you.

Admires all sides of your personality.

Forgives your mistakes, and you forgive theirs, no one is perfect.

Helps you, makes time for you and gives you their attention.

Encourages you to try again.

Adds value to your life and you add value to theirs.

Compliments you and lifts you up.

Offers you support and understanding.

Tells you the truth and are honest and direct with you, no matter how difficult or what the situation.

Helps you maintain your integrity and moral principles; they wouldn’t allow you to compromise your morals for the friendship, ever.

Never judges you and always tries to understand you.

Explains things you don’t understand.

Walks by your side, holds your hand and comforts you.

Calms down your fears.

Shares in life’s challenges with you.

Shares their insights in life and listens to yours.

Celebrates your successes as you do theirs.

Supports your dreams and goals.

Takes risks with you and doesn’t let you give up on yourself.

This bond is mutually beneficial.

There is that amazing bond of mutual affection and adoration for one another and life just wouldn’t be the same without them. They are those people who you can count on for support, advice and lots of fun. These special people in life who make our hearts overflow with love! “They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

Even in the most difficult of times and in the darkest of hours, value yourself and value your friendships. Sometimes there are obstacles in friendships too but anything in life that is worth it is worth fighting for isn’t it? There are those challenging times and if you can get through those, these challenges can strengthen the bond of your relationships and you know you can get through anything together.

Today and all days let those people around you who are important in your life know how much you value their friendship and let’s be grateful for those people who make us happy.

“If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus 1 day so I never have to live without you.” Winnie the Pooh

“Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.” Anonymous

The Golden Rule-The Ethics Of Reciprocity.

The golden rule is a rule for good living; treat others, as you would like to be treated. If you are authentic, honest and transparent, then you will attract that type of friendship in your life. I don’t think it is about how many friends you have, I think it is the quality of friendships that count.

When I lived in Japan, I was introduced to a word they use to describe this type of friendship, it is called KENZOKU. It means “family” or “bond” it is not bound by blood, it is that undeniable chemistry between people. So who are your Kenzoku?

Jim Rohn said “You attract what you are. If you want great friends, then you first have to become a great friend.”