Month: June 2015

Everywhere one turns one hears: “don’t judge me!” or “I can do whatever I want as long as I don’t hurt anybody!” But, is that really true? And in this statement, aren’t we all judging something? Am I not now How is that you ask?

First of all, to do whatever you want is never something that is singly accomplished. In some way, somewhere, or at some time, we will hurt someone by what we do or how we do it, or when in their lives we do what we do. The question is: what kind of “hurt” are we tallking about here? Or, more to the point what is this definition of “hurting someone” in the first place, and what kind of theories or experiences are attached to the acceptable definition to make it mentally digestible to us? Also, before we consider our own assessment, do we consider anyone else while considering our own assessment? This goes back to an old adage: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Or, consider: are we really to be helpful to our weaker brothers and sisters?

You may want to dismiss my thoughts today and label it psychobabble, or philosophical rantings; be my guest. I too, have a right to my own opinions.

But these are observations I have picked up, patterns I have witnessed over and over again in my long life, which have become facts of life and can be construed as significant tenets of the human condition. I thank God I was given the mind I have. I don’t fit in with too many groups in the world, and I may be considerd odd or nerdy to those whose IQs are average, and which now rule the world with their neat little institutions and conventions. I may even be labled (which is the modern activity of conventional educators) hyper-sensitive, bipolar, schitzophrenic even, or just plain out of the ordinary–get it? ORDINARY. No, I am not ordinary–thank God.

I am reminded by all the media with its applauding and lauding, praising Bruce Jenner’s coming out, being sprawled out for everyone to see as a victory for the man. Frankly, his life with the Kardasians was already sprawled out, and it was not pretty. There was much speculation as to why or what or who… We all like to watch someone else’s life; it keeps up from looking at our own, which is why the media is so prevalent and successful in their activities. I do believe it was a painful existence but for different reasons, on which we will talk about later, or in another blog day.

He claims he wasn’t really who he was supposed to be. Somehow, he was mistakenly put into a man’s body, and meant to be a woman. God, or the evolutionary fish, or the environment, or some scientific, universal power, made a mistake when he was made. I am not saying that this is so, but that is what we get from his not liking what he was. He was mistakenly what he was for some odd years, and now had to be what he was meant to be… it really doesn’t matter who he hurt or how he hurt someone, or when in the lives of those around him he may have hurt, because he claims to have been living a lie by being the biological man he was, which was hurting him, so he had to be true to himself.

God forbid anyone disagree with that logic, for a disagreement to it would be considered judging or hurting Bruce! But did Bruce hurt anyone? We see only what the media reveals to us. Everyone has a side that is secret only to themselves and those that live or interact with him/her, or one another. There is always more than one sympton to an ill; to why a person acts out, or is seen in the various shades and lights as different on the one hand at one time in her/his life, and different, yet, on the other.

Just like a disease can become a new strain through new behaviors, eluding the original cure (as it is really only a new strain of the original disease trying to survive by changing its form), so humans react in the same manner when their sanity and existence is threatened–it doesn’t matter if anyone else feels or thinks they are threatened; they themselves feel some kind of threat to their own existence, so they react to it–hence, a dodging, or change in form, in order to escape something that is hurting us, perhaps even perceived as killing them!

We act out to survive. We change forms to keep from our inner self being destroyed, and at some point, there is no return. We become a new strain of human. For some, it is enough to run away. Some may have an affair, some may get a divorce and meet someone a little different to afford them new challenges. Some may turn it inward, by becoming drunks or addicts, perhaps smoke or masturbate incessantly, or become semi-suicidal or even murderous, or just plain cruel to others for dramatic stimulation.

For others, there must be a complete change of who they were in order to continue to survive. They must kill who they were and become another person to make their life a do-over in hopes of making this one better than the last, without actually stopping breathing–otherwise, it might be suicide as their last option. But why? What is so bad about one’s existence that they cannot be simply fine with their place in the world as they were? Let’s look at some habits of humanity, since the beginning of recorded her/his/story.

Since the building of societal conventions seem to change with every new generation, we might want to consider how new generations look at past generations as though they were archaic and ignorant, while the new generation’s ideas seem so advanced and more intelligent to them.

But some of us show no honor or respect to the entire past generations, as we would rather blame them for what does not work for us, and only applaud those that are in line with our new advanced presuppositions and inclinations (remember, according to our own theories and experiences).

So the generation we live in only works for those who are somewhat youthful and without consequences yet, for lack of longevity; not those who are passing from a prior generation to the generation presently, and who have been served various consequences by their lives’ choices, because the more experienced generation are now become outcasts or outlaws in a new society. So, consider this: each generation builds from the last, therefore is a culmination of a definition of what it is to be human. If the biblical story is true, that God created man and woman in his image, why are we so incapable of being happy and wholly intact with what and who we are? Why do we change so drastically from the generation before us?

The act of changing one’s whole conception of being: the whole idea of what is right and what is wrong, the entire collection of beliefs of religions that are made to work for the present behaviors of humanity, the forming of conventions, making new ideology from present day dysfunctional reasoning, tells me its time to flood the earth again. There is so much bad karma in the world, is seems impossible to go back to a simple, content existence. Instead, it seems we need to give up our last generation’s ideologies, and chalk it up as the effect to blame our woes upon, and try some other avenue, like maybe mix crow and horse, or eat mud with avocado, or die our hair blue and pierce every exposed part of our bodies, or something extremely different to see if that will cure our discontent.

The humans have gone too far to be called good anymore, or beautiful from within, and it is obvious that the better part of humanity as we see it today is completely selfish, hypocritical, and narcissistic. Yet, we claim to be liberal, open-minded, extravagant, accepting, unbiased, creative, intellectual, astute and stable, spiritual beings, without any realization that to be what we are today, we have hurt our past generations of people. We have dis-respected our ancestors, and wonder why our children have no respect for us.

Ever wondered why we evolved into speaking? Was it to access crevices of the mind that pictures could not retrieve, or was it to explain why we are looking at pictures at all? Like: why our eyes see what they see, our ears hear what they hear and our noses smell what they smell? And: What’s it like to be you? I don’t know, what’s it like to be YOU? I don’t know, why do you want to know? I don’t know….and so on….

Are you wondering what I’m talking about? Of course we are. Okay, let’s talk about this. Let me begin by setting the tone of my post today.

I remember a particular movie a long time ago, that spoke to this theme. The movie was called “Being There” with the late actor, Peter Sellers (8 September 1925 – 24 July 1980), and his co-star, Shirley MacLaine (April 24, 1934 – ).

It was a funny movie, but also, strangely disturbing; not one to be forgotten too easily. The main character was what one today might think was most likely Autistic. However, it was that he did not spend time on socializing; he was educated by television, so he was an excellent “watcher,” and perhaps even a “senser.” Thus, he saw no need to speak, although he could if he wanted to; he just saw no use for speaking.

This character, “Chance” (is the name obvious yet?) was the personal gardner to a wealthy tycoon who actually “housed” Chance in a neat flat of his own, where they lived according to station as a gardener of a rich man, in Washington D.C..

When the old tycoon dies, Chance having no other education than the television, says he has no claim on the estate (curiously, words that define his entire life), so he is ousted onto the streets, and begins his interaction with the world. The story goes on to a whole set of irony-clad events, and ultimately, he is in a station of great renown and power, simply by accident.

My point is, he never used words to get where he got. He was a silent man, who had no actual use for thinking, because his whole life was encapsulated in ‘watching,” and mimicking what he saw, only when others pressed him for some words. Hence, the man of few words, when spoken to, and when he speaks is misinterpreted as a man of profound wisdom. Further, his name gives a lot away here: Chance. So everything that happened to him WAS truly by chance. His entire journey was traveled by him because of chance.

So, what do we make of words, and speech? Are words and is speech necessary anymore? Aren’t we all enthralled by pictures more than anything else. If someone is dressed exceptionally well, will we not decide that the person must be royalty, or wealthy, or some kind of theistic being, a being of integrity, power, and wisdom beyond our eyes? When we see a poor bagwoman in the streets, don’t we assume she is stupid, a whore, or a wasted mentally ill person? We assess much in the world by what we see, not an explanation of what is truly going on.

Our need to learn to speak was directly founded in the need to explain ourselves. We could use the Biblical story of Adam and Eve. They did not seem to need so many words until they directly broke God’s command, THEN the explanations came rolling out like rivers of water, and it seems from then on that words have a way of making a stand. Yet, we are slaves of our sight. It is ironic indeed, how many famous Greek plays and stories have in them a blind sayer, who is wise beyond all knowledge and power. It seems blindness even then was something to be coveted.

You see, if we were all blind, we would never notice the color of one’s skin, we would never notice the age of a human being, nor could we determine gender or status, or vehemence or hatred, or romantic or lustful intentions, as we would have to find these things out by using our other senses, and by speaking and listening.

Try it. blindfold yourself for an entire day, and see what you find out about those around you, if you can. Notice the tone in their voice, their smell, their touch. Especially how they touch you.

I love a good picture as much as anyone else does, but I am also akin to such prejudices as anyone else. I see things I like, and I see things I don’t like. My eyes have their own judgments, which can lead to unfair practices or treatments of others, and of the world around me. The eyes witness, and witness is the road to judgment. If we SEE one being treated with kindness, love, respect, we tend to THINK he or she or it deserves it, so we set up a judgment about that TYPE of thing we saw.

All of this TALK and SIGHT business leads to another onion skin much more important than what it reaps in definition and judgment: emotional responses. Whether we like it or not, we are emotional beings. Emotions are very powerful, which is why those in power have always tried to keep the masses sedated with liquor and drugs: because then they don’t use their emotions to think and Speak about what they think. But they do watch, and television is a powerful parent.

How I got off the subject into the subject of propaganda, I am not sure. But suffice to say, we must all stop WATCHING so much, and start allowing our minds to propogate our independent emotional responses.

We all need certain things in our lives, and we are built with those things, like: love, affection, fairness, kindness, courtesy, mutual emotional treatment and remuneration. Even animals show this emotional response toward each other and in their tribes, even with various other animals or humans, even:

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We all need to feel safe and secure, warm and comforted. But if we are too busy watching what others tell us is true and right, we will never become the sensitive, emotional beings we are truly meant to be. We were never meant to be robots or zombies…

As far as “REALITY” shows go… Whose reality is it? We have become a mass of zombies. It’s no wonder the zombie zeitgeist is everywhere these days: in books, comics, movies, television, mediated through our watching trance. We are watching ourselves as brutal, defiant, stupid, and craving only for our physical or sexual senses, and not for our intellects or spirituality at all: that is the world of zombies, indeed.

So why not choose to read books, instead of television? Exercise your imagination. Practice imagining what the characters look like to you, and in songs you listen to, do the same thing: imagine what the singer looks like and how he or she acts out the song they are singing.

Why not sit with your partner, and talk, instead of television or a cinema picture? Work on puzzles, play table games, or just SIT AND TALK–about anything and everything.

Why not make your own reality by thinking about the things you really need in your lives and don’t shut off your emotions. I can almost guarantee, if you do this, you will first descend into a plight of sorrow and desperation, because you will suddenly be AWARE from within toward outward stimulii. But that is only because you have not actually had to feel and think on your own for a long time. What will come of it is You and your true self, introduced for the first time… Nice to meet you…uh, er… I mean…me.

Every morning now, since I am no longer employed I spend most of my waking hours thinking about the job, and its evil demands on my “slowness,” and “inability to remember things told more than once.” Take that four month insult versus those who are attached to me in a personal way: my family.

I thought a lot about this: when we do have jobs and are bonefide cogs in the machine, we tend to make family secondary, and also tend to forget our concerns and worries over them, because now we are feeling confident that we are taking better care of them, since we are bringing in some help. Further we have new worries that overtake our attention, about the new employer: strangers who give money for favors. Yes, I know: that sounds a lot like prostitution. It is on some levels.

On any heavenly plane or planet, a job could easily be construed as prostitution, because one will give oneself wholly and completely for years, just for a paycheck, until one can no longer give of oneself, at which point, the strangers will be happy to either retire, fire, or lay aside the empty cog and reach for another, younger model. However, the job of being the family May pole, to which every strand of family is tied, is just as hard if not harder, without pay, done in “love and sacrifice.”

Every ounce of one’s life is poured into the people that are attached by blood or legality, and at the end, the same thing happens: they are discarded (emotionally in this case), because they no longer give [emotionally] what they were able to give onc before. Either the family, or the job: it all gets to be a lot of energy expended for others, leaving a sensitive soul depleted for its own good–golden years? I think not. Husk years? More like it.

I thought many times of how when I was alone, be it for a day, a week, an hour… how peacefully quiet it was in my “retired state,” and if I were not working anymore, it was lonely on the one hand, but comforting on the other. If I were lucky enough to still have money in the bank, then it would be doubly peaceful, because I had no reason to want anything, but if I did, I could get it for myself. This is what I called a taste of heaven for anyone who is simply spent and worn out. For military we call it post traumatic stress, or fatigue syndrome, but for old people, we just don’t care, we just want them to hurry up and get out of the way.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, and I had enjoyed working and participating in the machine, sometimes. Yet, I must further admit that I am getting older, and the agedness creeps up slowly strangling the passion, the ease, the energy, and the enthusiasm out of life, in exchange for pain, pain, pain, and resistance and fighting of that pain. All that fighting takes up a lot of energy, which makes one somewhat grouchy, teary-eyed, comatose to some degree, and longing for a quiet and beautiful resting space, where no one infiltrates or decimates, unless you allow it, which would probably be never or at the very least, very, very seldom, given the demands of the fast lane.

It is kind of cruel to admit it, but no one will, so I will. I realize that Family is only good when you are still young enough to enjoy it, and for them to enjoy you without effort. The kids can laugh and play with you still, and your husband still sees you as an attractive catch. When we get into our elderly years, beyond the 60s, unless you were gifted with the beauty of a Paris model, a triathlon athlete, and/or an intellectual, sassy adventuress, no one seems to care to interact with you because you require too much effort: you are too slow, somewhat dim-witted or at least delayed; too tired, and you get overwhelmed by too much activity to be considered a “fun” family member. So one will get ostracized in not too long, or at the very least, spoken to as a child who is treated as if he or she has no life experience, no wisdom, no insight, no opinions, and no sense. Someone has to tell the world what it’s like to get old, because sooner or later everyone will be doing it.

So about this time, an elderly person begins to find fictional parameters, impacted with fictional characters to interact with, the activity being allowed to flourish within the aged person’s body, mind and soul amd be labeled as “dementia,” or “Alzheimers.” The fact of the matter is, if this country’s peoples had more respect and honor for the aged, the aged would not diminish with those kinds of indignities. Never mind, they already are living in fear of being “traded in for a younger model.”

Instead, we ought to allow the aged to participate in all the things, rather than be put into homes away from home, so they can be abused by strangers again, and so that no one who knows them, have to see what happens to them. The elderly need to thrive in order not to diminish, just like anyone else: they need to participate in the places, the people they once participated with, and they need to be respected and honored, without fear that they would be hurried, insulted, or have eyes roll at them, with big sighs because they forget a lot of information on an instant–given time, they can remember again, just be patient.

Another fact of the matter is, the aged elderly will surely begin to fall into the pattern of being “sick” because that way they can walk slower, be treated a little kinder, not have to lift and open heavy doors or drawers, not have to cook anymore for the standing pain, and just be given a little slack for their older bodies and minds; their souls would be healthier if we did this. Further, they might be able to save their energy for all the experience, wisdom and insight they do have, to share with those who arrogance in youth. If we combined the wisdom of the aged, and the high-power of the youth, we would be a great country indeed.

I tell you, this country needs to learn how to respect their elderly. There needs to be a complete turn-around on who really deserves the credit and the service and the lovingkindness shown to them continually through the end of life. Getting old is the hardest thing anyone will ever do; I might equate it with hell; it is beginning to feel that way. But I must look at the other hand as well. It is not so easy being young either, especially when the middle aged elders are too busy figuring out how to blaze trails, and ignoring the young in droves. So in actuality, we all have an ax to grind, but we all need to walk in each others’ shoes, so we can all nuture our empathy for all living beings, people and pets a like.

Why can we not see–I mean REALLY see–everyone as equally valuable, and not just lip service and dumb institutional programs that someone who is not going to have to use the program, has conjured up to clear their own conscience. If we saw everyone equally there would not be starvation of anyone, there would not be anyone struggling to fix their roofs, or water their plants, or living with cold or heat beyond normal comfort, or unable to get out for lack of strength, or just plain not be cruelty of any kind, that would include for the animals too, as elderly usually have pets to keep them company, but cannot usually afford them, for the same reason they cannot afford to be alive themselves. There would never be lonely people, and there would always be patient people with each other, each one realizing we all travel the same road–eventually.

Okay, that’s my rant for the day, and its Monday, chalk it off to that. Now, let’s get back down to business.