Jay Rifenbary's Blog

Turn Your Vulnerabilities into Possibilities

How vulnerable are you to the negative influences, and the power of your
own weaknesses? Does your lack of patience make you vulnerable to anger? Does
your lack of discipline make you vulnerable to excess? Does your lack of
personal accountability make you vulnerable to blaming those around you for
your failures? Does your lack of integrity make you vulnerable to the
self-centered temptations of life? Does your lack of an understanding of what
your core values are make you vulnerable to indecisiveness, self-doubt, and
lacking self-respect? Do your insecurities make you vulnerable to being
emotionally hurt? Vulnerable is defined as, "Capable of, or susceptible
to, being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon, a vulnerable part of the body; open
to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc."

To be vulnerable is a normal
human emotion and experience. It is life's flashing warning sign notifying you
of potential emotional and physical harm. However, it is also a positive sign
indicating an opportunity for you to become a stronger and better person. Your
vulnerabilities are potential possibilities for greater success, happiness and
fulfillment. They make you aware of what you need to improve upon both
personally and professionally. For example, if you are vulnerable to
procrastination, it will have a detrimental impact on your ability to be
self-disciplined, resulting in the inability to be as efficient and thorough
with work projects you are assigned. If you are vulnerable to criticism, it
will have a negative impact on your ability to be decisive, resulting in a
greater lack of self-respect. Are either of those vulnerabilities
excuses, or opportunities to overcome those weaknesses, and improve the quality
of ones life? There are reasons in life for mistakes and failures, and they
happen to all of us, but an excuse is the consistent repetition of reasons used
to justify and rationalize debilitating behavior. There are reasons for
despair, anger and disappointment, but an excuse ensures the sustainment of
those reasons.

Can excuses be an extension of your vulnerabilities? Absolutely!
If what you are vulnerable to is self-destructive, it is your decision to either
make a change, or decide to use it as an excuse to not live up to your
potential. Overcoming your vulnerabilities spearheads achievement to further
success and greater happiness, for it demonstrates strength and courage to
become a better you. What steps can you take to conquer your own
vulnerabilities?

First, admit you have them, take accountability for them, and
have the humility to be accepting that they exist. "Pride goeth before the
fall", for arrogant pride destroys character and a sense of self. Second,
assess which vulnerabilities are the most destructive. What has created the
most stress, emotional turmoil, and indecision in your life? For example, if
you are vulnerable to the pain of loss and you react defensively rather than
compassionately, which behavior would you choose for an emotionally healthier
you? Assessing which are most harmful prioritizes which vulnerabilities to address
first. Accountability and assessment are the first two keys to overcoming the
destructive nature of being vulnerable.

Action is the third element, and if not
implemented accountability and assessment are irrelevant, for now avoidance has
taken control. Returning to the example, if you do become defensive around the
pain of loss, what actions are you taking to address that behavior, and what
can you do to become more compassionate in the process. Action taken is never
easy and in many cases uncomfortable, but to avoid it only enables the
destructive behavior. It takes courage to change, and strength of character to
go the distance. Adherence to your core values provides the strength to overcome
your weaknesses.

Analysis is the fourth step to evaluate your progress in
lessening the destructive powers of being vulnerable.If the proper action is
taken, the analysis will be a positive one, and a healthy step forward to
becoming less vulnerable. Now is not the time to be defeated by what you can't
do, but rather be the champion in believing what you can become. To be a better
parent, professional, spouse, and individual is never finite, but a continual
process in the development of your character, and the legacy of what you stood
for and believed in. View your vulnerabilities as opportunities not liabilities.
You reward will be greater self-confidence and self-respect.