"My job is to slightly distract you while you're sitting in a different chair," said Jerry Seinfeld a couple minutes into his stand-up comedy routine tonight in the Ohio Theatre. The setup for that punch line is nuanced, much like Seinfeld's observational humor, and cumulatively quite funny.

Gary Budzak, For The Columbus Dispatch

“My job is to slightly distract you while you’re sitting in a different chair,” said Jerry Seinfeld a couple minutes into his stand-up comedy routine tonight in the Ohio Theatre. The setup for that punch line is nuanced, much like Seinfeld’s observational humor, and cumulatively quite funny.

As soon as Seinfeld, 59, came on stage, he commended the audience for making it to the show. He neatly outlined the thinking process involving a couple going to a concert: “We’ve got to go,” the one might say, while another might say, “The other three (stars of Seinfeld) won’t be there, so what’s the big deal?”

Then came the concept of procuring tickets — how many are going; who do you want to sit next to us; who’s paying for them? “This could be a giant pain,” Seinfeld said. Next was the time — 7 p.m. Thursday — am I going to have time to eat? If the service is slow, I’m going to be stressed, and I’m going to the show to relax.

“Husbands and wives get double credit” for attending, Seinfeld said, because before leaving, they were asked, “Ready?” and “Is that what you’re wearing?”

Finally, they have to find their seats, an important task, because after a show, everyone is asked, “How were your seats?” This led to Seinfeld commenting on how the body is perfectly suited for being seated, how life is about moving from one chair to the next, how a bed is better than a chair and the job description that opens this review.

It was funny because going to a show is something we’ve all done, and when you break down all the elements that go into it, absurdity abounds if you look at it the way Seinfeld does.

The remainder of Seinfeld’s performance focused on things that irritated him, which included Twitter, Facebook, mobile-device batteries, unwanted homicidal/suicidal thoughts, OnStar (he called it MorOnStar), voicemail, Viagra and Cialis commercials, beverages and the chess game called marriage.

After 70 minutes, Seinfeld left to a standing ovation. He quickly came back out and fielded questions for 10 minutes. Seinfeld didn’t get the inevitable “O-H” yell (the dude’s from New York) and didn’t bite on the inevitable Newman reference. He did say his favorite Seinfeld episodes were the ones he was in and said a reunion show was possible once all four stars’ careers were down the drain.

Chuck Martin, an Emmy-winning writer for Arrested Development, opened with an amusing 20-minute set. He had some good riffs on going to the gym (people thought he was there to audit instead of work out), sports (if he was carried out on a stretcher, he would raise his middle fingers instead of giving the thumbs-up sign) and health-food nuts (they will die too, but won’t be as happy as those who ate whatever they wanted).