Tuesday, June 30

Just a quick post today to say that I was back at the gym this morning after one week's break.

I still wasn't 100% last night, so decided another night should put me in good stead - which it did.

I only did cardio this morning - just some interval/steady state stuff, abs and stretches. It did feel good to be back in the gym and I felt good working out. I'm starting to put my thoughts into the right frame of mind again, and doing alot of visualising as to how I want to look and feel. So I'm steadily getting back into the frame of mind that I want back, which is usually AWESOME!

Okay...gotta go. Gotta try and catch some shuteye and rest up before getting ready for Parade night at AA (just the usual stuff). Probably more practice - which I need. I did my first practice last week, and I quite enjoyed it. No doubt I'll have forgotten alot of the 'catch phrases'. And tonight I'll be putting in my preferences for Kapooka. I have two course dates to choose from - 4th Sept. and 11th Sept. As far as getting them, well that's another matter. We'll just have to wait and see, though I hope it doesn't drag on forever...lol...welcome to AA!

Monday, June 29

So I gave myself a stern talking to last night. "Kerry", I said to myself, "What advice would you give yourself in this situation if you were mentoring someone else?" So that's when the solutions came, in answer to my momentary motivational detour.No.1 - Have the mind of a beginner.Okay...I think I know what you mean...the desire to listen, learn and take action with all the eagerness and curiosity of a child.No.2 - Think about your original goals and what it is that you wanted to achieve. How did you feel when you reached these goals?I felt FANTASTIC! It was like my old self, but a new, better version...strong, confident, trim, energetic, ready to take on the world.No. 3 - Now that you've achieved those goals, do you still want what you have?YES! Most definitely.No. 4 - What kept you motivated during your fitness journey?The vision of who I wanted to be was always constant in my head....Every day and waking moment.No. 5 - How did you keep that 'feeling' of power, control and drive during your journey?I kept that picture in my head of who I wanted to be, but I listened to music that kept me pumped. In the morning...during the day...on the way to the gym...back from the gym - I'd fill my head with the music and visualise myself doing all those things I dreamed about.No. 6 - What are your current goals?Reach peak fitness for Kapooka, i.e. maintain my strength, improve my cardiovascular fitness, especially in relation to running. After Kapooka...take my fitness to the next level, by training at Crossfit.No. 7 - Now remember all of this - revisit this post if you need to. Harness that energy and that feeling of power and vitality. Refocus and GO FOR IT!

Sunday, June 28

Today I'm feeling much better - it's just the lingering cough, snotty nose and lethargy from a weakened state. I mean, it's just the flu - no big deal for some. For me...yes, it's a big deal! I'd been flu free for 12 months, apart from a couple of times there where it was looking like I was going to succumb, but I fought it off. If I do catch anything, I get over it fairly quickly.

My health the past 12 months has been exceptional, and in my normal state, I rarely, if ever get sick. My naturopath says I have a strong disposition, so that's a good thing. Luckily, Philomena has also, as she rarely gets sick. We've both had the lurgy the last few days or so, but mine has been worse. You know...the aching, stuffed up, throbbing head, and generally feeling like crap?

So it's times like these that I have to take a step back and ask myself why I am sick. To me, sickness is in outward manifestation of what's happening inside. Inside the body, and inside the head. It's the body's way of telling us that something is amiss and it needs to be addressed.

Leading a life whereby you are not only exercising, and eating well nutritionally is a good way of maintaining a healthy body, but what many people fail to overlook is how the health of our 'thoughts, minds, emotions' can hugely affect our overall health, regardless of whether we are exercising or eating correctly. A stress-free mind and body is integral to good health and vitality.

At the moment my focus isn't 100%, and I've been very tired. It's definitely the 'vitality' part of the equation that is amiss.

With a whole lot of events all coming to a header recently, i.e. army, personal, etc, I've been feeling a little 'meh'. Usually, I'm full of energy...pumped...ready to take on the world! I'm not too sure exactly where this is coming from. I think I've been so focused on my training and the army stuff, and getting to Kapooka, I didn't realise how much of my mental and emotional energy, as well as physical energy was being zapped.

Also, it looks as though I won't be going to Kapooka until the beginning of September at the earliest, and I was hoping to peak, training-wise and motivationally much earlier, which is now not going to happen. So it sought of feels like things have gone...phfffff...feels like someone's popped my balloon.

Anyway...I'm hoping that once I'm a bit more rested and over this lurgy, and my energy returns, that I will feel more like my usual self. I think also, once I know the exact dates for Kapooka, this will help tremendously. I can re-assess my training and the timing, in order for me to be at my peak physically and mentally. Thinking about returning to martial arts training and Crossfit has had me mixed up a little too, because getting my life into some type of routine all rests with when I go to Kapooka.

Meanwhile, I need to listen to the taps and address some of the underlying issues which left me open to getting sick. It's just working out which underlying issues need prioritising - a bit like the chicken and the egg.

Monday, June 22

Thanks to those who made the suggestions about training - there were some good ones!

However...it looks as though CROSSFIT IS ON AGAIN, and I'm happy as a lark!

So how did it all turn around in 24hours? Well...it only happened this morning, after reading LizN's comment, which sent me on a solution hunt, where I ended up looking down the powerlifting/weightlighting avenue, but without a suitable one (solution).

And then it struck me...."Why don't I just ask for a solution from Crossfit?"

I can't go as many times as I'd like to, and the fee structure just wouldn't work for me if I could only get there 1-2 times per week, so I just assumed that was the end of the road. So I thought I'd give Matt a ring at Crossfit and explain my dilemma, to which he provided a more that suitable solution! So I'm excited once again! And even better, he said he can help with the home gym, and said that all I needed to start were dumbells, a barbell and a pull-up bar and I'm in action.

Friday, June 19

Isn't it funny that sometimes when things are going fantastic in your life, that it can start to get confusing? Or maybe, it's just because you're on such a rollercoaster ride that you don't want to come down from the highs (which usually signifies things are out of balance), and when all the dust settles you're left asking yourself...What next?...Where to Now?

The last few days I've been feeling a little meh, and when these feelings start to emerge I know I need to question myself and ask why I'm experiencing these feelings and where did they come from?

It's been such a big year for me, and I've achieved quite a lot. It's nearly coming up to 12 months since I started on my Ideal Bodies Online journey, and when I put things into perspective, it's definitely been a year of significant change. Most signficant of all, is that my head space has been nothing short of bullet-proof, and my focus has been almost fanatical (but fairly balanced). I feel like my old self again...strong, determined, confident, unflappable. I am proud of how far I've come, and how my life has been transformed.

However, now that my actions of the past year have brought about the intended consequences, and the actual events are starting to take place, this has thrown me into a little confusion. I think that my exhaustion this week has messed with my head a little too (self inflicted of course - having too much of a good time and revelling in my achievements). And because I've been tired, rather than taking action and re-organising and re-clarifying, I've slipped into my old habit of overanalysing, andam presently suffering from analysis-paralysis.

I've been thinking about the next few months, and it looks like I won't be going to Kapooka til about mid-August. My 4th and final IBO program will finish in about 6 weeks, and it will be the first time that I will have had to think about training and nutrition without the help of my feedback coach....scary! I knew this day would come, and because it's fast approaching, I've started to think about 'life after IBO'...where to next?

The other reason for my confusion is that what I had originally planned to do after returning from Kapooka (training-wise), may not eventuate, i.e. begin training at Crossfit. It's more of a transport issue than anything (and a little financial too). Not having my own car makes it difficult, and I wanted to be training at least 3-4 times per week there to make the most of the fees. Catching the train means 1 hour of travel just to get there, and the time I'd have to leave home is too early and impractical, as AW needs to be home from work for me to go. He doesn't feel comfortable me driving that distance in his company car.

So, I'm not too sure where to go from here. When I am honest with myself, my wanting to train at Crossfit is to take my fitness to the next level, in a way that is challenging and progressive. I also want to learn correct lifting technique and build upon strengthening my core and major muscle groups in the best and most effective way possible. The crossfit program has shown remarkable results when it comes to overall strength and conditioning, for both the muscular and cardio-vascular systems. The type of training also reflects the types of exercises and movements that the army requires you to do.

Training at a normal gym just does not cut it when it comes to this type of training and they don't have the right type of equipment or space for you to be able to do what you need to do. I can't train at home, living in a unit and our garage is currently not equipped for this type of training. I could look at converting the garage into a gym, however, it would be quite small, and I would need to keep in mind that AW will still want to park his company car in there. Sorry...but these are all the things going through my head, trying to work out what to do.

I've also been thinking of the possibility of 'Kettlebell' training. This is something that could be used as a substitute for weight training, as you learn the same techniques and movements used in weight lifting, i.e. squats, snatches, cleans, etc, and in fact, would probably be more beneficial for core training, given the balance required to train with these.

I can also train specifically to improve my martial arts fitness via kettlebell training. The only thing is, I would like to get some formal training in the correct use of kettlebells. I think, just like weight lifting, you need to learn correct form and technique, not only to prevent injury, but also to maximise the effectiveness of your training.

Hmmm...so much to consider...too many decisions to make right now.

Anyway, I think that the solution to this is to STOP THINKING so much, get on with my current program, even though things are a little unpredictable at the moment having started training in the army (it's thrown out my routine - something which has caught me off guard). Because I've still got six weeks left to go on this program, and I have still yet to prepare adequately for Kapooka. So I need to stay focused on Kapooka - or rather, re-assess my program after this weekend's army training, and just have head down, bum up to make sure I'm in tip top condition. Once I return from Kapooka, my current gym membership will have expired, and I can then think about what my next step will be in my training, as I will be returning to formal martial arts training then too.

Ahhhhh...now I feel better and more clear about what I need to do. Thanks for listening! :-)

P.S. If you have any suggestions, i.e. training options, I'd love to hear from you!

Saturday, June 13

I went out with my (school) friends last night for Terasa's birthday celebrations, and had my free meal, which I'd been saving up for 2 weeks. I didn't even have anything really disgusting, and I haven't been able to sleep because of gas...fe-euwww!

All I had was curly fries; a beautiful avocado and crumbed mushroom salad; Mississippi Mud cake with cream and ice-cream (hmmm...that may have been the culprit), and a cappucino. And my stomach has been rumbling ever since. So I thought I'd share it with my blog friends...he...he....shows how special I think you guys are...*wink *wink *click of the tongue...

No use rolling around in bed awake. Luckily Philomena decided to crash in our bed, and Anthony has swapped. Cause at least the noises and smells won't worry little Miss Phil (cause she's like her mum and just as noisy and smelly...he...he...poor AW).

I think I'm going to be stuffed tomorrow. I'll be catching trains today...Army Enlistment ceremony this morning and then PINK concert tonight! Woohoo! I got a surprise message this morning on FB from a fellow IBO'er asking me if I wanted to go (cause her daughter is sick) tonight. I was absolutely stoked! How could I pass up such a wonderful gesture? Apparently it was spontaneous - so it makes it even more special. Now I haven't actually met her in person, but I am so looking forward to it, and meeting her family. It's times like these that I am humbled and grateful for all the wonderful friendships and connections that I've made through Ideal Bodies Online, including meeting alot of amazing people, even if it is only in blogland!

Have a great day! Oh...and if you bump into me today somewhere....be afraid...be very afraid...buahhhaahaahaa....

Tuesday, June 9

Saturday afternoon saw me with a few hours of solitary bliss, at home by myself enjoying quiet time without Philomena or AW around. I had lots of housework to do, but thought "bugger it"! It will always be there no matter what.

I felt like kicking back and just vegging in front of the box, so I trundled off to Blockbusters to grab the DVD I've been waiting to watch....Seven Pounds. Now I didn't actually know what it was all about, but I knew there were going to be some tear-jerking moments. AW filled me in on what the critics had to say, but boohoo to the critics - I'll make up my own mind thank you.

Suffice to say that by the end of the movie, it was time to collect Phil and AW, and my eyes were all red and I had a headache. I'm such a cry baby...but I love watching these types of movies. AW just says "arrrrhhh...why do you do it?", i.e. put myself through the tears and emotions.

Why? Because sometimes life is so damn good, that I need to witness and empathise with what it may be like to have the shoe on the other foot...to remember that LIFE IS A GIFT, and that I need to appreciate what I have, however small or insignificant it may appear.

The part that had me balling like a baby was when Ben (Will Smith) and Emily (Rosario Dawson - who is just gorgeous BTW) were sitting under a tree in a field, and Emily was telling Ben about her dreams of being able to run (she suffers from Cardiomyopathy, I think) and what it would be like to lead a normal life without the fear of dropping dead any moment.

I was balling like a baby, because for someone like me, I take that for granted - that I can walk, run, play, push myself to physical limits and do anything physically that I want, and know that my body is strong, agile and healthy. I don't have any medical problems, and apart from some muscular imbalances and muscles that need strengthening, I am in perfect health.

And because I am in perfect health, I can pursue goals that many people my age and older would never dare to dream. How lucky am I? Of course, I have always looked after myself for the majority, so being fit and healthy didn't just happen by chance. Not without work and on-going self education and a belief, that by staying healthy there would be a better life for the offering.

Emily and Ben also played a little game called What If? I tried asking myself that question, but it was a hard one to ask. It's easy if your what-ifs revolve around positive actions and outcomes, but a truly difficult one when faced with real hardship and adversities, of which we have no control. Sometimes it's better to leave these thoughts well alone, and cherish the life you are living right now.

Friday, June 5

That's how I was feeling this morning after a phone call from Defence Force Recruiting, congratulating me, and giving the news that I am now 'Class 1 Medically Fit' for the Defence Forces (Army Reserves). At first, I was just relieved, because if anything was going to go wrong, it would have been in this area. Even though I was given the verbal okay by the specialists, you never know what else the Defence Force is going to want from you. Thankfully, they were finally satisfied!

I felt a huge sense of relief, because as those of you who have been following my army enlistment journey know - it's been a long and laborious process to get this far. I had my pathology test today (HIV, Hep A & Hep B), and was supposed to get a phone call today to organise the enlistment day ceremony details, and my pre-enlistment fitness test. I didn't get a call, but no doubt will get one on Tuesday, which is running it a bit fine, but I know what to expect anyway, so it's no biggie. If I don't get a phone call by lunchtime Tuesday, I will be calling them. They do all their PFA's on Thursdays - that I do know. It's all a bit of rush now to get everything finalised by Saturday 13th June, which I have been advised is my 'Army Enlistment Day' and makes me official...as she sings.."I'm in the army...I'm in the army".It's been really exciting, setting the goal for Army Reserves. I looked back on my blog entries, and the date I made the decision and 'put it out there' was Monday, October 6, 2008. So, it's been 8 long months of dreaming, persistence, patience (the hardest part), yearning, hoping, and lots of hard work to prepare me physically. An acquaintance asked me the other day..."so why the Army? It's obviously not for the money". No...it was never about the money, even though it's tax-free dollars I get. It was always about doing something I've wanted to do for a long time, but more importantly, it's about doing different. Why do something ordinary, when you can do something extraordinary? For me, I don't see this as a job. I see this as a way of expressing my creativity, and fulfilling my highest potential, by doing something ...a) worthwhile, which allows me to give back to my community and my country ; b) physically demanding, and hence retaining my fitness; c) that gives me employment skills I can use out in the civilian world; d) which offers variety, excitement, travel, and adventure, if I want it; e) that offers me flexibility between part-time/full-time employment as my needs change; f) that adds to my current skills and confidence, in the way of military and leadership training; g) which allows me the flexibility to raise a young family without compromising quality of family life; h) which allows and encourages me to pursue my own health and fitness goals...plus...plus...plus...I really feel blessed that I will have all these wonderful things and get paid for it, and still retain a balanced and fulfulling life...what more could I want?I have to admit though, that this whole week I've experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. After writing my post Failing Forward, I'd realised that I hadn't actually planned to fail in my pursuit of the Army Reserve enlistment. As close as yesterday, I decided to come to terms with the possibility that I may not get in, so I started to get my head around that, just in case I had to eat my words (i.e. failed). I had even started looking in the 'jobs classifieds', just-in-case. I discussed it with AW, and he asked "would it really be that devastating?"...to which I replied..."YES!". He added..."you just don't like the thought of having to get a real job". I had to laugh at this comment, because you know what...he's right on the money! A real job for me now seems so...mundane...lol...and that's not belittling anyone out there who works in a 9-5 job. It's just not me anymore, that's all! It's just not what I want to do, and I've always pursued things that I've wanted to do.

I also realise how fortunate I am, because reading a few blogs of late, and thinking especially about Magda's blog entry about dealing with disappointment - I knew what she meant about having a dream, and wanting it so bad. That's how I felt, and I hadn't honestly entertained the idea about not getting in (the Reserves). Though I know, like Magda, I may have been dealing with disappointment too. The rollercoaster of emotions wasn't just about my dream of being in the army - it was also about the extra money I would bring into the household. It hasn't been easy living on one income for the last 3 years, and expenses have just been going up (especially my food and supplements), and I know they will continue to increase. The extra income will not only be helping to pay for those increases, but it also give us a little more in the way of money for recreation. It is also how I'm going to be able to afford to start training at Crossfit, as well as start back martial arts training. So there's been alot riding on my successful entry!

Well that's about it for this week. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support...it really is wonderful to receive it and I'm always appreciative. My fellow bloggers...you are a special bunch of people!

I hope you all have a fantastic long weekend, leading into a fantastic week!

About Kerry W

I'm a mum with a beautiful 5yr old daughter and wonderful, supportive husband who loves to cook and keeps me on track when I go loopy!
I've overcome and achieved much, in the last 4 or so years. My daughter asked, "Mummy...when were the best times of your life?" I replied, "NOW...Now is the best time of my life!"