I am not a shopper...no way, no how. Well,
maybe in Home Depot or Victoria Secret...but that is it. But somehow,
when you get to Southeast Asia things start changing...the money is
different...you are now using Yuan, Dong, Baht...who ever heard of this
money and is it even real. But the US dollar is still supreme. There
are items for sale that you are not even interested in and would not even
think of buying...but now it is CHEAP or reasonable. All of sudden it is
the experience not the product. Imagine buying a Mont Blanc pen for one
dollar...how can you pass that up...it is a must buy. Agreed....but is
buying twenty of them a must buy....well, the price is so reasonable.

It does not
matter that it is not really a Mont Blanc pen; it is a “knock off” version
of the Mont Blanc pen. What does that really mean...well the knock off
version comes with a 30/30 warranty...you know....the product is
guaranteed to work for thirty seconds or thirty feet, whichever occurs
first. And, when you buy an expensive item, the seller gives you a
printed warranty for the knock off product attesting to its quality and
reliability....it is a knock off warranty.

So how does
all this work...you are in a market...by the way this market could be a
street vendor holding out an item for you to purchase...it all works the
same way. The vendor states a price for the item. You laugh at the
offer and immediately indicate that the price is outrageous. The vendor
asks you to state a price that you will pay. You say you are not really
interested and try to leave.

The vendor
again asks you to give him a price and you offer something like 25% of the
price given to you...the vendor smiles and shakes his head indicating
“no”. The vendor makes a new offer. You show no emotion ...tell him you
are not interested and proceed to walk away. Again, he asks you for a
price, you tell him you really do not want the item anyway, but you offer
him a slight increase in price beyond the 25%. Again, the vendor
indicates no, but makes an offer closer to your offer.

You tell him
you do want the item as it is the wrong color, size, or shape. The vendor
disregards everything you say...he does not care. You offer about 30%
and the process is starting to become productive. At this point, the
vendor will tackle you if you try to leave...he will follow you back to
the hotel...he offers a price between 35 and 40%. And, at that point you
can split the difference or if you are getting tired you just go ahead and
pay the extra twenty-five cents and call it a day.

You have now
completed the negotiation, definitely feeling that you have been had
because the vendor finally accepted the mutually agreed price and you are
now out $2.00 US for a product that will sit in your closet forever once
you get it home...that is if it is still working when you get home.
There is, however, one consideration that is very important so as not to
seriously demean the future of this process. Never, never, ever pay
the price that the vendor first offers for the sale.

The shock to
his being could be so great that he might never be able to negotiate
again. In addition, the vendor will have lost all respect for you and
your picture with a line across it will be distributed throughout the
region ...you will not be able to shop again. This negotiation process is
important for international relations and is incumbent upon you to adhere
closely to the procedures set forth.

Given your
adherence to this time honored process, you will be able to purchase
unlimited quantities of items that you will never use again once you
arrive home. Should you decide to give any of these items as presents it
is recommended that you do so as soon as possible after you return to
ensure that they are still working when they are presented to your family
member or friend.

There are some shopping facilities in
Southeast Asia that are considered government stores. These stores offer
many of the same objects found in other vendor stores, but these items are
certified by the government and price negotiations are not readily
tolerated. Therefore, you will be encouraged to pay the higher price
knowing that the government is ripping you off directly without any middle
man involved.