Movies.com recently unearthed a making-of featurette for 1997 pop culture disaster Batman & Robin that… really isn’t what you’d expect. Watch as the cast and crew explain in somewhat diplomatic, but nonetheless very candid terms about how they knew they were making a terrible, terrible movie. The featurette video is nearly an half an hour, but we’ve rouned up some of the more important highlights.

We’re guessing this documentary was made around the time the movie was put on DVD, because it’s clearly not a promotional documentary for the movie. Although Director Joel Schumacher doesn’t quite hit Ridley Scott levels in regards to being confusing and contradictory, he does wield a brand of madness that almost makes you forgive him for this mess of film. He seems sorry and he actually apologizes at the end of the video. Here are some of the other big highlights.

Schumacher talking about how the studio used the word “toyetic,” which is apparently a mashup of “poetic” and “toy,” which means a thing that makes toys get sold.

One of the screenwriters calling himself “the personification of the Other.”

Val Kilmer being baffled as to why he wasn’t in the movie.

Lengthy discussions about the bat-nipples.

Even lengthier discussion about the codpieces, including a size comparison between Batman and Robin’s junk.

Joel Schumacher being totally complicit in his own downward spiral: “The licensing and marketing became a very, very, very important part of making this film…but I was an adult, I was awake and I went along with it… I was there.”

Stubby the Rocket is the voice and mascot of Tor.com and just cannot even process this.