They Don't Come With A Handbook > Comments on This time I'd like some blogger feedback. I'm in a funk.

I think one of the main reasons people get burned out as parents, teachers

and caregivers for children is that they start out with this idea that kids are a blank space to be filled. Kids come in their own colors. It's our job to help them shine and to nurture them to adulthood, but we can't change them. I think the worst thing is to go into anything with a preconceived notion about how it's gonna be. It probably won't be, and then you get major disappointment.

I did think, having worked in Head Start programs before I had kids, that I would be able to do fabulous things with my kids. Sometimes I do. But sometimes the bathroom doesn't even manage to get cleaned, for Pete's sake. It's a three ring circus here. I have come to accept it as my three ring circus instead of bemoaning the loss of quiet and clutter-free surfaces. I wish everyone could just enjoy their own life, instead of focusing on other's lives.

Sounds Like you are feeling better already

But let me add my two cents as a woman in a very simila situation.

If I could only go back to before I had kids and scrub out every word I said to people with children, I would. I knew NOTHING!!!!! And I doubt she does either. You CANNOT know what it is like to parent a child until you have done it. But don't be too hard on your friend, she just doesn't know. And like you said, she is getting a VERY narrow view of what you are like with your kids. She is only there when you are wanting some time for yourself (deservedly).

It sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job. From what I have read from your other posts, you really care about your kids and are doing everything you can to help them grow up to be well balanced people that add something to the world. Well done you!!!!

Thanks. You're one cool cat. Writing this blog did convince me.

And I forgot about my husband. He's one hard sell. If I wasn't doing something right, I'd have his opinion, and if he felt strongly about it, his criticism. He'd go to bat against me any day over our kids. We both would. I'm feeling much better already. Thanks again.

You deserve a Pat on the Back....Let Me Explain...

Firstly...forget the neighbor, because here is the epitome of the purpose of parenting: To raise independent children who will move out onto their own and develop lives for themselves.

Your neighbor who doesn't have kids... Lord bless her drunked soul with a gaping hole to fill... realize she would contribute to a 'Failure to Launch.' This cycle of young people not getting off Mommy's lap to move on as adults is due to philosophies like hers. As long as your kids have someone to run to when they need you...which they do since you love them, read to them, are affectionate with them...you should have no worries. Sure they need supervision...but that doiesn't mean you need to chase them around pouring their milk for them.