My job has made me feel worthless.

Have you ever just felt like no matter how well you do, how much money you bring in, how many thousands of dollars you save your company, when you leave for home you're still worthless? I've been insulted, denied raises, denied bonuses, denied ability to move up, threatened with termination and mocked but still here I am - a doormat. My cheap labor and my sales skills are what keeps me in my position though.

It's to the point where I've been looking for a while for a new job, but I honestly feel I'm not good enough for anything else.

I'm broken.

by Anonymous

reply 40

10/19/2014

I should also add that even though the situation here is pretty rotten, I honestly love what I do. I'm not trying to moan or feel sorry for mysel, I'm just asking for advice.

by Anonymous

reply 1

10/12/2012

Well then, be more specific about what you actually do, OP.

by Anonymous

reply 2

10/12/2012

Marketing for an arts organization. It's a labour of love.

by Anonymous

reply 3

10/12/2012

[quote] It's a labour of love.

If that's how you feel, no wonder they take advantage of you.

by Anonymous

reply 4

10/12/2012

Nothing and no one can "make" you feel anything. You choose to feel the way you do. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get moving.

by Anonymous

reply 5

10/12/2012

The truth is the job has not made you feel worthless, YOU are making you feel worthless. If you don't love yourself enough to speak up and demand respect, then of course you will feel how you are feeling. Everything starts from within.

by Anonymous

reply 6

10/12/2012

Feel the same way, OP. And we do the same thing. I think part of it is everyone and their brother think they know marketing and working for an arts organization is very different than a corporate job.

by Anonymous

reply 7

10/12/2012

"no matter how well you do, how much money you bring in, how many thousands of dollars you save your company, when you leave for home you're still worthless?"

bullshit. so many people VASTLY overestimate their value, and it sounds like you're one of them. if you were really bringing in so much revenue or drastically cutting their costs, they would be loving you.

by Anonymous

reply 8

10/12/2012

It's easy for you to say that, r5.

r6, I did demand respect once. I was ridiculed and told by my boss' boss that he has no respect for me. The way good people get canned around here I'm terrified of ending the same way. And I have fears of being denied unemployment. It happened to a close friend and coworker who went off the deep end after he was fired from here.

I even once asked for a raise and was told to "shut the door" and proceeded to be read the riot act for even daring and was told how lucky I am to be employed "in this economy."

by Anonymous

reply 9

10/12/2012

[quote] It happened to a close friend and coworker who went off the deep end after he was fired from here.

What's he doing now?

by Anonymous

reply 10

10/12/2012

OP I agree with the posters who are wisely telling you it is not the job but your self image and perception of yourself and your job that is leading you to choose to think of yourself that way.

Look at all the small choices you make that lead to this feeling.

If in FACT you performance is exemplary and all you get are threats and insults then you are not documenting and promoting your accomplishments within the organization and you need to start doing that.

Find ways to set up being appreciated rather than unappreciated. Working for an arts organaization is not an excuse for feeling sorry for yourself.

Group dynamics are pretty much the same everywhere. I think you need to find a way to take responsiblity for the way you are percieved in the organization and stop arguing that it is just the way it is.

These problems will follow you elsewhere if you don't seriously start to look at yourself and resolve them now.

by Anonymous

reply 12

10/12/2012

OP, if you're as good at your job as you say you are, and the problem is that you're working with/for assholes, I suggest putting together a great CV as a starting point to getting out of there and also pumping up your own self-esteem.

I don't mean a boring list of jobs and responsibilities, I mean a CV based on your specific achievements.

At the link is a book I used to do this, and going through the exercises to really review my career and achievements in depth gave me self-confidence in the job market, and lifted my self-esteem when I'd been feeling flat on that front. It's an in-depth exercise, but totally worth it. (Don't get it from Amazon though, their pricing is shitty. Use one of the much cheaper marketplace sellers.)

Also, there are some good books out there on how to handle bad work environments (search "nightmare bosses" on Amazon, for e.g.) which could give you tools to help in your current situation.

You're going to have to work hard to help yourself out of this; no one can do it for you.

by Anonymous

reply 13

10/12/2012

Thanks r11. I feel like no matter how successful we are, we're all expendable. And we are a hugely profitable company, thanks to my department. My boss has been the most successful person in her position since it was created (4 previous had been fired). My organization is the most profitable in our region and I work in marketing so yes - the shit I do, which I like doing - DOES bring in money. She, my direct supervisor, gets huge commissions when we make goal. I don't get anything. If I were to lose this, I'd be out on the street.

r10, my friend pretty much disappeared. They fired him on his birthday.

by Anonymous

reply 14

10/12/2012

r13 - thanks, I know that picking myself up and succeeding will be an investment and take more hard work, so I thank you for your encouragement.

I honestly think I have projected my own situation here. I showed vulnerability once, and they have been using it against me ever since.

I know I must be good at my job because I still haven't been let go while people have been let go for less.

Honestly, I'd rather work for in a cold, corporate cement building than ever work in non-profit arts ever again. And it hurts desperately to say that because I truly believe in the way the arts enrich lives and make communities better.

by Anonymous

reply 15

10/12/2012

When you asked for a raise OP did you bring a list of accomplishments? Did you surpass goals?

Are you well versed in the finances of the organization? Is it in the black or just squeaking by?

Work with your supervisor to set goals for the next six months. If you exceed those goals you will be in a better position to show your value to the organization.

by Anonymous

reply 16

10/12/2012

what kind of arts organization is this? Profitable?

by Anonymous

reply 17

10/12/2012

The new trend in Corporate World is to beat down their employees self worth, causing them to think they are not worthy of higher pay and will actually settle for less pay.

OP has fallen for it.

Welcome to the new level of ruthlessness in Corporate America.

by Anonymous

reply 18

10/12/2012

OP, as you're in marketing, how would you market yourself? Both internally and to the outside world?

by Anonymous

reply 19

10/12/2012

Wow OP, I'm getting chills reading this, wondering if we work for the same company. I too work in a similar capacity and all I can tell you is that what I've discovered is it's not you . . . it's them. Your higher ups are likely satanists. I'm not even joking. These people feed off of negative energy.

by Anonymous

reply 20

10/12/2012

KOMEN: PINK ASSHATS!

by Anonymous

reply 21

10/12/2012

[quote]The new trend in Corporate World is to beat down their employees self worth, causing them to think they are not worthy of higher pay and will actually settle for less pay.

Yep.

I think I work for the same place, r20.

The best part of it is, THEY act like THEY are oh-so-important when they don't do a fucking thing. And they think it will never happen to them. Please. These places eat their own.

by Anonymous

reply 22

10/12/2012

Quit, OP, Quit, Qui.

I worked for a non-profit university in NYC in the 80's. Yes, different economy; yes, I'm oldish. Liked my boss but personnel manager jealous (no reason to be); pain in ass. I quit, worked temp 2-3 months, and was lucky enough to get a rare will-train legal secy job.

Made $75/week more just by quiting. In interviews when asked why left, would straightforwardly say, money, and something like "nonprofit - profit to none" (that was a bit much! may have gotten away w/it 'cause was young (28) and looked about 20 (NOT bragging; pepole jus told me that.)

Next job (2 years later): enterainment law firm: $75 week more; steady raises for 3 years.

Moved to SF when mother died. $24K; quit jobs a few time, eiher for stress or more money or both: to $61K over next 19 years (when had to stop working (disabled).

May NOT be a very good comparison; cause marketing jobs hard to find; legal jobs didn' used to be. BUT: you won' know if you don' try. Sounds like very toxic envir where you are, and without even knowing you, OP:

YOU DESERVE BETTER. Best wishes.

by Anonymous

reply 23

10/12/2012

[quote]Nothing and no one can "make" you feel anything. You choose to feel the way you do. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get moving.

I get what you're saying, but it could have been put better and is an oversimplification. If nothing and no one can make the OP feel a particular thing he does, neither can he. We can rise above situations, but not in all situations and only if and when we are able to do so.

by Anonymous

reply 24

10/12/2012

Welcome to the beginning of your slavery years OP.

by Anonymous

reply 25

10/12/2012

You ARE worthless, OP

by Anonymous

reply 26

10/14/2012

I have the same thing in my job. Mine is from my manager! He's hated me from day 1! I get be littled on a daily basis and when I question it it's made worse! My problem is going from a company that appreciated me and respected me to a better paid job where they talk down to you!! If someone told me for more money this is what it would be id of stayed put!!

by Anonymous

reply 27

10/17/2014

It's pretty much all Corporations, they chew you up and then spit you out.

People get no joy from their jobs, certainly no appreciation.

by Anonymous

reply 28

10/17/2014

OP, even if you don't have confidence in yourself now, you must project confidence to get another job.

Get your CV out there and note in it your successes in marketing for an arts organization. If asked why you want to leave, I suggest "Although I love my job and am very good at it, I need new challenges, which I know a different environment will provide me."

Arts organizations, in my experience as a board member, are notoriously difficult to work for, because you are dealing with huge egos. There is politics in every office environment, but for some reason, the conflict seems to be greater in non profits and particularly arts.

by Anonymous

reply 29

10/17/2014

Could someone start a threat titles "Why Did You Hire Me". I have had jobs like the OP's and wondered why they hired me at all. I could do nothing right but always, always sold more, was more popular with the clients and was never late or absent. But I was constantly treated badly and criticism was constant, almost always undeserved.

by Anonymous

reply 30

10/17/2014

OP tell us about this company that is a very profitable arts organization.

by Anonymous

reply 31

10/17/2014

OP, we'll take you as is. No need to change.

Just apply on line!

by Anonymous

reply 32

10/17/2014

[quote]I've been insulted, denied raises, denied bonuses, denied ability to move up, threatened with termination and mocked but still here I am - a doormat.

I've been through Brenda Frazier! But I'm heeeeeeere...

by Anonymous

reply 33

10/17/2014

non-profits are just that - for both the company and the workers.

Get another job - you can do it! Where do you live OP? I'm looking for a marketing manager actually.

by Anonymous

reply 34

10/17/2014

The richer one man is the poorer many men are.

by Anonymous

reply 35

10/17/2014

If something happens to you more than once or twice, IT'S YOU!

by Anonymous

reply 36

10/18/2014

It's all perspective. Every company will make you feel that way OP, because you are doing it to yourself. Why do you focus on the negativity of the other aspects of your job? Why not relish the aspects you love? All perspective. Mary.

by Anonymous

reply 37

10/18/2014

I have had lots of different jobs in my life, nothing overly corporate, and have NEVER had anyone scream at, shout at, or belittle me, ever! I've had frank,terse and even heated discussions with great and not so great bosses but have never had anyone try to intimidate or belittle me.

I would politely ask them to stop doing it as it is beneath my personal dignity, then REMIND them that they have been told to stop it if they keep it up. If it continues, tell them to end it now, or else. If they ask what you mean by "or else", take the low road and remind them they'd not want to find out. If they take the bait? Quit. No job is worth your soul. If a soulless job will suffice, others of the same crappy ilk are widely available.

Have some dignity!

by Anonymous

reply 38

10/19/2014

As much as people dislike their job, it's not always financially feasible to just walk away, and decent jobs are hard to find. Have to be patient and start looking.

by Anonymous

reply 39

10/19/2014

OP, if their attitude toward you is so at odds with your self-described performance, what happens at your performance reviews? Do they acknowledge your contributions or do they pull you up on specific failures?

I think you need to be taking steps on getting out of there, just so you don't feel like a helpless victim. But consider whether there may be some truth in their low appraisal of you and your issues are likely to be repeated in another job - are there things in yourself that need to be corrected?

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