You Can Now Vape Your Coffee, Because Why Not

Coffee addicts. You might know one, you might live with one, and you might even be one. They thirst for that bitter nectar ’round the clock, and I mean ’round the clock quite literally, because they never seem to sleep. They’re constantly sipping on something hot, popping caffeine pills, or snorting lines of ground coffee off their kitchen counters in a fit of desperation and exhaustion.

Worry not, my sweet hipsters, because now there is a new way for you to get a quick fix in the middle of a busy day. Companies are designing e-cigarettes that double as caffeine inhalers. They give you a quick shot of caffeine without actually drinking an espresso shot.

Tread lightly. The FDA is all “ehh” about the products at the moment, but companies are able to work their way around marketing restrictions by claiming their products are dietary supplements or beverages. I imagine that they were able to do this by getting insanely hyped up on their own products and spewing out some genius ideas before crashing into a deep, downward spiral of caffeine headaches and leg spasms.

It was only a matter of time before this happened, because hipsters love to vape almost as much as they love telling everyone that they vape. They also love coffee, or at least hanging out in coffee shops while wearing scarves and working on their novels. This ploy is just the next logical step in a market targeted towards taking their money. Ten bucks says Apple had a hand in this. .

Email this to a friend

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.