So, I watched a few minutes of the first episode of the new show Gym Rescue, where Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock try to rescue a floundering gym. It is pretty much the same premise of Bar Rescue, which makes sense because it is a spinoff of that show, airing on Spike TV. I would have done better to have a drink while watching it.

There was a fair amount of the usual drama. Frank Shamrock shouting at the owner calling him lazy, the owner getting pissed and pushing him, Shamrock storming out the door. Didn't see that coming. Wait, I did. Frank Shamrock is there to be "Jon Taffer" because, I know, you know, and Randy knows that he is not going to act like Jon Taffer. So, Couture and Shamrock hook them up with one of those balls-to-the walls group "cross training" programs where they all run through stations and you know, flip ropes about and run up stairs. A LOT of hard work for nothing specific. Not me. I'm too lazy to work out without a very specific goal. But, this is not about me (it really is).

First, this gym, T3 Health & Fitness, was nothing more than a space in an industrial complex (think self-storage but bigger) that the gym owners put up some homemade stuff. Pretty much the definition of a "BOX gym" such as CrossFit popularized, although this was done on a shoestring and homemade. Nothing wrong with that except for the fact that it's just a cramped version of shit you could do outside. OK, so there is something wrong with that. See how I lie? Anyway, they are giving, I suppose, a free session to potential clients. At some point in the episode we see one of the trainers (ummm..maybe the male owners wife co-owner?..I don't remember) and this trainer is sitting at a table with one of the guests trying to get him to sign on the dotted line. What's stopping him? Well, it's like 275 bucks a month, that's what's stopping him. She is trying to sell him on spending 275 bucks a month for THREE SESSIONS a week and completely limited access. The advantage? He gets shouted at as he runs through a bunch of random shit in a circuit routine with while tripping over a bunch of other people in a cramped industrial space. Of course, the show is going to do a remodel.

Now start thinking of what you can do with 275 bucks. If you have a garage, for instance, or another space, you can buy a squat rack! Or at least be near to buying one. Or some other piece of kick ass equipment. Or, hell, you could go to the YMCA for less than that and have total access to lots more stuff. Or a commercial gym with lots more stuff. You could also feed your family. You could make a car payment. What is the selling point here? Again, it's a bunch of trainers yelling at you as you run through some random stations on a circuit routine. Let me tell you how hard it is to set up a circuit routine. It isn't hard. That's how hard. And you could pay the teenager next door 5 bucks to scream at you if that floats your boat.

So, the potential client is, justifiably, waffling, and she hit him with, "Can you put a price on HEALTH?" And, this poor guy is actually persuaded by this bullshit. He is persuaded, somehow, to think that his HEALTH depends on him spending 275 bucks (I think it was..) for 3 sessions a week in a silly circuit routine. Bullshit. BULLSHIT! I changed the channel, disgusted, and unable to watch. You can get "healthy" for no charge. Only those with specific conditions that require specific interventions in order to return to a state that might be considered 'healthy' would need to pay someone to help them exercise for health. Exercise IS subjective, and you do not need to pay someone to hit you with subjective choices. Training, when it is really done, is based on a specific intervention with a specific, measurable training goal.

It is about SELLING. The methodology has nothing to do with anything. It is about being able to persuade people to spend money they can't afford on things that they do not need, and most of those doing it, in their hearts KNOW that the people do not need it. To sell you need a good rhetoric. That is another word for bullshit persuasion tactics. Can you put a price on health? Yes, you can. And it ain't $275 a month.

"…fitness is a building being built by many contractors each using their own "best" building materials, with workers aimlessly nailing and hammering shit cause that's what the contractors told them to do, WITH NO FUCKING BLUEPRINT ON WHAT THEY ARE BUILDING IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Well said and it reminds me of the blind men and the elephant!

Was the Gym Rescued?

Alas, the gym was not rescued. The gym was hit with thousands of dollars in fines due to improper construction on the renovation and failing to procure proper building permits. Part of the upstairs was converted to a yoga area but it was not zoned for anything but storage. According to the owner, Craig Marks, the building inspector said all this but Seth Falvo, writing for CagePotato, interviewed the building inspector who said he did not recall making any such comments, and that the permits were obtained after the fact, the inspections were made, and the permits closed. There was a bad mold infestation, Marks says the equipment that was there was basically stolen the thrown away. was forced into bankruptcy and has relocated, struggling to get a new gym. Regardless of what went down, and there is no denying that much of the fault is on the owner, there was no rescue. Remember, though, this is Spike TV, folks.