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WASHINGTON–fresh off yet another defeat as the Supreme Court today affirmed Obamacare, leading Republicans coalesced around a different plan, hoping that a killer asteroid will plunge into the Earth and destroy health-care reform, along with life as we know it.

“While this Supreme Court ruling is a bitter pill to swallow, we are confident that our new strategy of awaiting a killer asteroid will prove to be the undoing of Obamacare,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R–KY). “When a handful of survivors crawl out of their bunkers a generation later, they will be free from the tyranny of government attempting to provide health care to working-class Americans.”

The Supreme Court ruling confirmed that the federal government could offer health-insurance subsidies to all Americans, regardless of whether the exchange on which they bought insurance was organized by the federal government or by individual states. Four plaintiffs had argued that state-based exchanges were ineligible for subsidies on the grounds that moments before the vote to pass the ACA, a House clerk eating a hot dog had dropped a large dollop of ketchup on the key phrase in the bill.

Justice Antonin Scalia dissented from the 6-3 ruling, arguing that “what matters is the bill that was passed, not the bill that would have been passed if it didn’t have ketchup spilled on it.”

Leading Republicans were bitter after the ruling. “The whole point of the Supreme Court is to help our party win battles that we can’t win through elections,” said Speaker John Boehner (R–OH). “I guess they forgot why we elected them in the first place.”

According to the new Republican plan, there is a 4% chance that a killer asteroid will hit the earth some time during this century, possibly creating a mass extinction event, which would “somehow undo Obamacare,” said Boehner. “And 4% is better than our odds in the next presidential election, at the rate we’re going.”

Gov. Bobby Jindal (R–LA), who just declared his candidacy for the Republican nomination, also expressed his unhappiness with the ruling. “If the travesty that is Obamacare stands,” he said, “my state will lose some of its great traditions, like children dying from preventable diseases.”