The Robot Restaurant: Where Tokyo meets Vegas

Steve Burgess, Edmonton Journal04.06.2014

While somewhat short on storyline, the show at the Robot Restaurant does not disappoint when it comes to visual and auditory stimulation.
/ Supplied

With a laser light show to rival anything in Las Vegas, and giant robots to entertain the nightly crowd, the Robot Restaurant in Tokyo, Japan is a place where excess is the norm.Steve Burgess
/ Edmonton Journal

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What’s the Japanese word for “tasteful?” Never mind — won’t be needing it tonight. Not for a visit to Tokyo’s Robot Restaurant.

For decades Japan has been absorbing western pop cultural influences, transforming them, and sending them back out into the world in weird and wonderful new forms. Somehow along the way a nation known for the most delicate, subtle and nuanced cultural expression has also managed to challenge Las Vegas on the frontiers of excess. It’s unlikely that even Sin City has anything like the Robot Cabaret show.

My Japanese-Canadian friend Miki and I head into a neon-lined lane in kabuki-cho, a sub-district of Shinjuku, Tokyo’s liveliest nightlife and entertainment area. Kabuki-cho is probably the closest thing to a Tokyo red light district, although to a strolling tourist it looks not unlike the rest of bright-lit Shinjuku. Even among the bright, noisy pachinko parlours the Robot Restaurant is hard to miss. By early evening the lobby is a wash of multi-coloured lights. Giant fembots circle about — three-metre high mannequins on wheels, piloted by drivers who sit in their laps and look rather like Star Wars bounty hunter Boba Fett. The lineup for the 7 p.m. show is being entertained by a rocking band similarly attired in robot/storm trooper gear.

The lobby is lined with photos testifying to the growing reputation of the Robot Restaurant. Hollywood directors Tim Burton and JJ Abrams are among the luminaries seen posing with some of the show’s robot stars. Anthony Bourdain featured the Robot Restaurant on his CNN series Parts Unknown. It wasn’t for the food (although your ticket, roughly $50, does get you a bento box lunch along with the show).

First stop is the lounge, featuring decor that could trigger an epileptic seizure. It appears to have been designed by Donald Trump while high on peyote. The chairs are golden snail shells, the ceiling is all lights and mirrors, and the colour of the carpet is best described as “every.” The walls are massive segmented video screens featuring female warriors in sexy Roman centurion get-ups riding into battle, firing cannons, and such. It’s like an Akira Kurosawa film done by Victoria’s Secret.

Then it’s downstairs for the big show. The small arena holds just over 130, lined up at small cantilevered rows of tables on either side of a runway stage. An emcee appears and warns front-row patrons to beware of accidental robot collisions. Then the lights go down and it begins.

What’s the Robot Cabaret show about? 80 minutes, roughly. But then, fun doesn’t need a plot. There’s a series of set pieces, each followed by a break of about eight minutes for a set change. Some segments feature a rudimentary story but that doesn’t make it opera. And opera fans don’t get big glow sticks to wave around while watching aliens zipping through banks of lasers in single-wheel motorbikes, or showgirls riding dinosaurs, or nine-foot tall dancing robots. But perhaps I need to see a few more operas.

The show begins with drummers, two cohorts of women wearing white or red wigs, bikini tops, and diaphanous skirts, pounding taiko drums on moving platforms bathed in an elaborate light display. While they may not have been selected purely on the basis of musical ability these young women can legitimately tell their parents that they have embarked on professional musical careers.

There will be many more rotating drums and many, many more bikinis. Spangly ones. There will also be a kung-fu panda, a mermaid riding a giant alien-eating shark, a woman in a spider costume riding a giant spider that shoots an alien-catching web (you’ve probably seen similar things on nature documentaries), a neon tank, and of course, several giant robots. They don’t really show up until later but they’re impressive, each of them different, all close to three metres high and apparently remotely controlled (the Robot Cabaret will not reveal the secret of their operation). During a break the lights come up so people can have their photos taken with the big metal stars.

Then it’s back to more 25th-century cancan girls in spangly bikinis, some on trapezes, some riding that tank and other neon battle wagons. The rolling fembots are also on display, driven by young women who appear to be having the time of their lives. Imagine if Hugh Hefner had a thing for robots and you’ll get some idea.

Clearly it’s not for everybody. “Wasn’t what I expected,” mutters Tiffany, a San Francisco tourist attending with her husband.

But if the show appears to be aimed squarely at sci-fi boys who obsess over scantily-clad anime superwomen, most of the women in the audience seem to be enjoying it just fine. Being so close to the action gives the feel of being immersed in a 3-D action extravaganza and this audience appeared to be completely caught up in the enthusiastic spirit of it. Afterwards, Miki’s only major complaint was all the short breaks between acts. Perhaps so much zany excess delivered with such wholesome enthusiasm is just too difficult to examine under a gender-politics microscope. It’s wacky rather than lurid. And at about $50 a ticket your biggest question afterwards may be how such an elaborate spectacle can turn a profit.

Three shows a night help, I suppose. “Thank you very much for coming to Robot Restaurant tonight,” reads a message on the huge wall-length video screens. “We have the next show coming up. Please leave your seat now!!”

Subtle as a brick, right to the end. That’s Robot Restaurant.

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