Teasing is Torture, Why Do We Love it?

There is something about soft touches that end too soon that drive so many people crazy. A kiss ended a little too soon, fingers tentatively probing before being pulled back, or a brush of fingertips on your thigh at dinner all allude to a good time later. It can be torturous! We want more, to be satisfied, to feel good, and we want it now, so why is teasing so good?

Teasing builds anticipation. It lets you get an idea of what your partner has in mind for later. It also lets your mind play through all possibilities of pleasure. Maybe your partner has a new toy they’ve told you about, and you then sit and wonder what they want to do with it. When the time comes to be fully satisfied you will be more than ready. The relief of finally being fulfilled can increase your pleasure significantly! Dr. Belisa Vranich from Huffington Post said, “Something about the uncertainty makes things extra-hot and piques our intellectual and emotional interest simultaneously. Somehow lust and anticipation go hand-in-hand. Reciprocated lust without the wait is just sex, really, isn’t it?”

The control (or lack thereof)! When you are doing the teasing you get to see how much your actions impact your partner. You can see how much they want you, and how eager they are for what’s to come. That can bring a kind of high on its own. When you are the one being teased, you are handing a level of control to your partner. That loss of control (no matter how slight) can be exhilarating! All teasing requires a level of trust between partners, and that can help strengthen your bond.