Sullivan & Son on TBS is the story of Steve Sullivan, a 30-something corporate attorney in New York City who gives it all up to return home to Pittsburgh to help run his family’s bar. Filled with colorful characters, including his Korean mother and her blunt outlook on life, the Sullivan bar is built on the back of one of television’s oldest and greatest staples – the relationship between a father and his son.

Steve and his father, Jack, are a new breed of TV son-and-dad duos, but they still remind us of what we always loved about TV’s greatest dads. And while I’m sure we all love our own dads for their own quirky styles, senses of humor and just the general ways they raised us, most of us had a moment or two when we were kids when we wished that TV’s best dads would adopt us and make us their own.

So here’s a little tribute to those dads that we wished would have adopted us.

(This post has been sponsored by TBS’s Sullivan & Son.)

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Kevin Arnold’s dad wasn’t the sweetest guy on the block, nor did he ever make it seem like it was safe to bring home a bad grade under his roof. But as a U.S. Marine and a guy who simply busted his butt in a job that he hated to make a good life for his kids, he really was the perfect dad for two generations. (No wonder Dan Lauria plays the role so well on Sullivan & Son on TBS.)

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Because no matter what happened on The Cosby Show, no matter what problems the Huxtables faced, everything always turned out fine. Theo and Rudy could have accidentally set off a nuclear bomb and Cliff would have comforted them and celebrated by dancing in his living room.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: This is a tricky one, because Jason Seaver is a psychiatrist so his kids couldn’t ever pull one over on him. But for a girl, he’d probably be a perfect dad, because Leonardo DiCaprio could just randomly show up one day and he’ll invite him to live there. Maybe he’d adopt Kate Upton, too.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Well, for starters, he was extremely wealthy and lived in a fancy penthouse apartment. But he was also just a cool, old dad who was kind enough to take two kids off the street and give them a great life with strong morals. Oh, and did I mention that he was extremely wealthy?

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Homer might be a buffoon, dolt, simpleton, drunk and lazy man-child, but he’s arguably the sweetest TV dad in the history of the medium. And chances are that if Bart ever ages and goes to high school, he’ll never have to worry about stealing a few Duffs from the fridge.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Because no matter how much you misbehave, no matter how much trouble you get into, no matter how dumb you are or how worthless your existence may seem, there’s just no way you could ever possibly be the worst Bluth sibling. Plus, you’d get a free paycheck from the Bluth company and frozen bananas galore.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Sure, you’d be poor and you’d have a mother that cares more about spending your grocery money on lap dances from Zorro, but you’d be the child of a Polk High football star and one of the last true American men on TV.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Well, he’s incredibly wealthy for starters. But he also came from humble beginnings and he knows a thing or two about earning your keep and imposing strong morals and ethics. Also, you’d get to throw Jazz out of the house all the time, and that always looked like so much fun.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Joey was the cool, free-spirited dad to Paul Reiser’s uptight, more conservative dad, so in New York City in the late 80s, Joey would have been the coolest guy in the world. Plus, nobody on TV at that time could match his sweet mullet/beard combo.

Why He’d Be a Great Dad: Because he’s Terry Crews. Imagine being picked on at school when you’re a kid and then going home and telling Terry Crews about it. He’d show up like a deleted scene from Expendables and let every bully there know what’s up. Also, I imagine you’d get some free Old Spice.

You know, when Wee Baby Seamus gets a little older Archer is going to be the coolest dad ever. It’ll be all lacrosse and krav maga lessons, partying with hookers, and him making a point of not neglecting Seamus the way he was neglected.

I’m fine with the sponsored posts, really, (I’m sure they don’t care, because we all gotta eat) but I absolutely wouldn’t have left this open for comments because WE ARE DICKS. It’s why I love it here, but eh, maybe TBS asked for it – BUILD THAT BUZZ and all…

How’d that taste, Uproxx? Like a fat sports car, I hope. Actually, I’m also fine with the sponsored ads, and I’ll even read them if I think it’ll help make it rain in Uproxx HQ. Buuut, this was pretty dry. Put in a little more effort, TBS, and we’ll get along fine.

This kind of sponsored post I don’t mind as much. As great as Uproxx’s normal stuff? No… but inoffensive and reminded me of some TV dads I hadn’t thought of in a while. I could just pass the slide that talked about the shit show they were advertising and get to better content…

You know, if we’re going to have to read two sponsored posts in a day — and hey, I’m okay with the Uproxx team making a little coin — then I would have thought our payback would be a totally new and original Mad Men conspiracy theory. Get on it, Dustin!