Brazil blame capable referee for draw; want more Asian referees in their games

Fortaleza, Brazil : In a bizarre response by the Brazilian team after their draw with Mexico in the 2014 World Cup, their manager Luis Ponch Scolari has blamed the referee for the result.

Scolari, who has won the World Cup with Brazil back in 2002 and is the winner of various burger eating competitions blamed the referee for being too good and wanted the continuation of shoddy officiating which helped them in their first game against Croatia.

War zone

“Yes the referee was good but he was very good, we do not need such good officiating that it harms our chances of winning the World Cup. We are playing at home and now I am afraid of leaving my hotel since people will be throwing all sorts of food at me, although I don’t mind it, I get to eat what gets thrown at me”, Scolari was quoted as saying.

Brazilian poster boy and PETA spokesperson Neymar AKA the Dolphin was also adamant that it was the referee who should have gotten subbed during the game, “For sure I tried my level best by beating players with my feet and by diving around like it is my swimming pool but for some reason the ref was blind to all this and was officiating within the rules.”

The brilliant dolphin,Neymar, continued, ” It is hard enough to play at home with so many people backing you and then threatening you after the game by asking for my autograph, I cannot sign so many posters since I might get injured. We need all the the help we can get, especially if the referees decide to go back to how they were treating us like they did when we played Croatia. It’s like home advantage, so the referees should at least give us one penalty per game, that is a minimum.”

The Mexican team were jubilant and were seen celebrating late into the night, their hero, goalkeeper Guillermo Ochao was the happiest. “I though I would be hammered with 5-6 goals but they could not beat me since I was on Mexican hash…..no,no hash, I mean tacos and oh shit my hash………”

While Mexico went off to party into the night, the Brazilian captain Thiago Moneybags PSG Silva was still at it trying to ensure that it was not the team’s fault for failing to beat the Mexicans, “We needed the Japanese referee again, he was brilliant against Croatia. We will lodge a complaint to FIFA to ensure that we only get referees from South East Asian countries so that we do not get officials who can see almost everything as it is on the pitch.”

The captain later on said , ” Neymar was brilliant and if it had been any referee from the Asian country he probably would have given us 2-3 penalties since Neymar considers the penalty box as his own swimming pool, he is that adept at playing football, water polo and high diving. In fact Neymar was in the Olympic diving team but decided to play football since he could follow both his passions, wearing crazy colored boots and diving.”

FIFA is expected to release a statement in full support of Brazil to ensure that the Brazilian team reach the final, it is believed that they are bringing in 20 referees from China, Japan and South Korea to officiate in the last Brazilian match.

Meanwhile, bookmakers have stopped taking bets for the final game against Cameroon.