I'm crawling further and further into a bottle because I can't seem to meet any guys who don't have severe emotional problems. I'm so depressed, I haven't had sex in 4 fucking years. I even tried to just hook up, but every time I try I get whiny broke dick losers. What the fuckkkkk ugh

I don't really have high standards for looks, I'm not into prettyboys or the usual 'attractive' guy, tbh faces don't matter to me as long as a guy is clean shaven, doesn't smell bad and his clothes are clean and not wrinked or worn out. It's just, every guy I talk to is so damaged like wtf. Case in point- I was talking to a really well rounded older guy I met in a coffee shop, but last week out of nowhere he asked if I was a virgin (I'm 26, wtf?) and when I ofc said no, he went all crazy on me suddenly and started asking how many guys I've been with, how big they were, the last time I had sex, how many times in my life I've had sex…. like what the fuck is that? We were talking about goddamn hiking and he came out of nowhere with it. I just…. whaaaat the fuck man.

>>3497I haven't tried any free ones, and I just had to have surgery so my budget is pretty tight right now for paid ones, but no I teally haven't. I always thought dating sites were aimed at people looking for more long term stuff/marriage, and honestly I just want something simple right now.

i misgender my shitty ex bc i know it'll cause her grief and i doubt she's actually trans or w/e she claims to be. one of my friends who's now closer to her is telling me to stop being a piece of shit but geez my ex jumped on that transtrender shit fast that i don't buy it at all.

i'm still filled with hatred and blame her for me becoming so emotionally fucked up even tho our break up was mutual and she was still v nice to me when we met up for our mutual friends bc i'm a fuckin piece of shit who cant take responsibility for my own shitty emotions

>>3511you can try tinder? i have it for shits and giggles but ive seen some people meet and date over it.

it's really hard to take responsibility for your own feelings sometimes but that's also like, the hardest part. if you can realize your responsibility then it's much easier for you to realize that you have the power to change them

>>3533thanks anon :'( i've been reevaluating my life here and there when it comes to it and sometimes i really want to get over myself and talk to her but i wonder if it would really do me any good since previous attempts always end w me cutting off the friendship hhaahha……..

Seems to be the newest confession thread in the catalog so I'll necro it. Hopefully it won't go to shit.

I've inadvertently overheard a conversation between my 16 year old stepdaughter and a boy about him taking her to a concert this weekend. They're planning on doing this in secret, under the guise of her sleeping over at her best friend's house. The boy is actually a pretty decent kid considering. Gets good grades, is polite, and doesn't treat her like shit. I'm actually considering playing along with the BS because I haven't had a Saturday to myself in forever. Her dad's crew is scheduled to work this weekend so he'll be gone too.

Do I call her on her BS or just roll with it and settle in for a night of beer and vidya?

I quit my job at McDs two weeks ago because it was brutal as fuck but I instantly regretted it because now I'm back home being a NEET with no money>Its pathetic but debating going back to see if I can reapply/get my job back>it paid decently,only had to work 3 days out of the week and was close to my house which was a plus since i dont have a car

I'm hoping I can get at least a seasonal retail job before the year ends

Called her out on the BS and warned her about lying. She got so embarrassed she was laughing crying heh. I asked for concert details and am letting her sweat a bit as to my answer, but will probably let her go. Fuck yeah, I'm gonna stock up on soom booze for the weekend.

i used to treat my best friend like dirt because she was really angry and bitchy all the time (she had home stuff going on though) and never really stopped, i still ignore her sometimes and resent hanging out with her. but the minute she gets new friends or doesn't have time to hang out with me i get so annoyed, i am everything i hate in a friend.

also i'm mega entitled, like i really wanted a career in academia so i've worked myself up to an ma course at my dream uni but now that i'm here i'm so unhappy. wish i could just enjoy it and make the most of it but instead i'm procrastinating on a confession thread and i haven't left the flat in three days.

when i'm stressed i make these weird 'collages' where I pretend i have a certain challenge to spend XX amount of money on clothes at a certain shop and XX amount of money to spend on makeup/skincare. Then I go through seasons/weeks, like "Spring/Week 1" and think of different outfits/makeup that I would buy. It's more of just a fancy way of sorting out things I want to buy and checking out new stores/whats new in stock I guess.

It's so tedious and stupid, but damn its relaxing.

Pic related, apparently I added a category of Fukuoka omiyage (Japan fag here) because this was right before my trip down there.

>>112970The clothes and accessories are from a shop I saw advertised at my favorite shopping mall…Make up is 2 blush colors, a great powder by canmake, a lipgloss, and a lip product that prevents your regular lipstick from smearing or coming off! Really recommend all of the makeup items as I've collected them all now :) Stuff on the bottom is all ideas for snacks/souvenirs from Hakata to give to friends/bf/coworker/etc.

I had a "best friend"… we were friends for a very long time. From second grade all the way through her first year of college. She was always super rude to me and to everyone else. Could not go a sentence without swearing, calling someone a name, or ranting. Did not handle her problems like an adult and would simply ignore people until she needed them. We hung out a lot during her first year of college because our schedules matched nicely since I was still in high school, senior year, and therefore had a shit load of time. I began to resent her shitty attitude, though.

We hung out enough that she wanted me to meet her shitty, cheating boyfriend again after 3 years because we didn't get along the first time due to him hating every single one of her friends for no reason. We planned a night to get together. We all (me, friend, boyfriend, boyfriend's buddy) went out to a lounge and her boyfriend and I were getting along, surprisingly enough. We were having a good time. Drinking, joking around, smoking. My friend has a tendency to get moody when the attention is not entirely on her, so I was sitting next to her and snuggled up to her but she was still moody because her boyfriend wouldn't climb all over her in front of everyone. Then, girl boyfriend cheated on her with comes into the lounge. My friend storms out and we leave her be. She eventually comes back. We eventually leave, go back to her house. She goes to bed, her boyfriend and drunk me stay up to watch a movie. I'm on a bed, he's on the floor. We flirt a lot. Exchange numbers.

We begin texting, then hanging out without her. Never hooked up, though. Kissed. Get a call one day from his other girlfriend. He's living with another girl and paying all her bills. Friend is upset, swears him off, other girl didn't out me to friend. I have anxiety the whole time. Cheater sends obsessive emails every 10 minutes to friend until she finally relents and begins answering him after two weeks. I'm (possibly) assaulted around this time. She's there for me, I feel like this is my karma. Life happens, I move on. She becomes best friends with Cheater's side girl, thinking she'll win boyfriend back once their lease is up (he could've left at any time. his credit is already ruined.). She won't listen to reason. Everyone is at fault but the Cheater. One day, get invited to go to the lounge again with friend and cheater by cheater. All I answer is "sure". Suddenly, next day, getting asked by friend when I was going to tell her I was hanging out with Cheater without her after she posts cryptic Snapchats about me. Tell her I thought we were all going out. She tells me to go have fun.

Then she showed up at my house the next day. Told me side girl told her I had "a thing" with Cheater and that's why she freaked out. I deny hard. She says she's going to delete Snapchat and to text her because she's tired of drama. She ultimately took side girl's side and never bothered to formally end our friendship, after treating me like shit in favor of side girl for a week prior to this. I blocked her on social media when I got the courage to re-open everything after closing it due to the assault.

Now… I'm in community college for two semesters until I transfer. Still don't have a close friend and don't really go out. I did it to myself and I probably don't deserve to have friends. I want to believe I'm a better person. It wasn't worth it. I'm not sad that I got caught. I felt better that I didn't have to lie anymore. I'm upset that I could be that kind of vile person at all. I will never do that to someone again.

I wouldn't say the ex-friend is necessarily a horrible person. I believe she just has poor judgment and social skills. She does have other problems to work through too and even though she is an adult now, years of living a certain way can have an effect on someone.

I feel like my confession is shit now due to the previous confession, but I made a private tumblr where I made a character sheet for my ideal self and ive been adding shit to it (similar to the collage anon up the thread.), I also made an ideal income and I made myself an apartment,a perfect boyfriend and a bucket list but I know its never going to happen, yet I still indulge because its nice to feel like I have control

Let me preface this by saying this mostly just hurts me- I have NEVER stolen from friends or put them in compromising situations because of this in any way. I've also never stolen. Just ended up pawning a lot of my items and taking some family money under false pretenses (which I paid a decent amount back) before finally telling them the truth.

Anyways, it sucks because when it first started I thought I could trust a few of my friends to know the horrible truth by not judging me. I told them when I was leaving for rehab. So it wasn't like hey, I do heroin now, deal with it. Even tho I was clear abt getting help, reactions were mixed. One remained a loyal friend but her perception of me forever changed, I could tell.

The other friend got really freaked out and I suspect she told some people, because that entire group basically stopped talking to me and inviting me out around the same time. My entire college group of friends that I LOVED. And it's even more fucked up because I kept all of her secrets, especially about her std…I was there for her 100% and never told or mutual friend that she hooked up with, because he would've freaked out. Obviously.

When I tried to confront her about our drifting apart last year she made the whole fucking thing about her. Saying that me going through this and changing put her in a situation that she is "struggling with" because thinking about me in any way causes her so much pain. Bitch really?

So I'm faced with too shitty conclusions. Either "my friend" was always a fair weather friend to begin with who only really thinks of herself, or my actions were really that shitty. But my whole drug addiction stems from a trauma I would've hoped she understood…it didn't just come from nowhere.

>>114687Thanks for actually reading through my thread. I wasn't sure if I'd get any replies.

So that's a hard question. My boyfriend and I both use and I fear for his OD more than mine, and we have both had to revive each other before. Oddly, we revived each other with suboxone somehow and haven't had it yet to the point of needing to call someone. We both worry about that and try our best to practice safe usage and do test shots. But of course anything can happen. We also have a dealer we trust who has been consistent with his product since day 1.

The day I had to revive him was the scariest of my life. Thinking about that it the biggest motivating factor to get clean. We are down to using about once a week.

If I OD, sadly I think, well, at least is bullshit and pain is over. But of he ODs…I mean he and my family are my primary motivators to get clean. I couldn't live with that. I'd rather die myself.

We also stay on suboxone on our off days, so I hope it helps keep our tolerance up.

Never thought I'd make a /pol/ type confession but here it goes. I'm a retard and posted this in the old confessions thread and my browser didn't load a password so I can't delete that old post.

I'm only attracted to white guys. (I'm not white btw) But I've never been approached by a white guy for anything more than a hookup. (And I do flirt with/talk to them so it's not like I don't make an effort.) Sometimes it turned into dating but the point is that the guys I like have never actively pursued me for anything serious.

On the other hand, for some reason everyone who has asked me out on an actual date or shown interest in me beyond hopping into bed has been black or South Asian, which I'm butthurt about. (lol) Awkwardness as I have to decline politely.

I thought it might be a cultural/forwardness thing, but if that were true then I don't think I'd get asked out by Indians ever.

I hope you manage to live happily without heroin someday, life is great and all, it's good being alive. I'm not gonna be hypocrite and say you should live without drugs. But at least try to keep your shit together. I wish the best for you and your bf.

>>114686They sound like some fairweather friends to me anon. I work with drug users and this is unfortunately really common. You came to them as a friend, said 'hey I have this really hard thing to deal with but I am also doing this to change it' and they fucked off. the only thing that changed was they knew heroin was involved and they left.

Good luck with rehab, when it seems unbearable remind yourself of all the reasons you went in the first place.

>>114703Thanks anon :) It's nice to get a genuine response on here regarding all this bulkshit I/we have been going to. I feel very lucky to have a partner during all of this and not be alone, because that would make it so much worse.

We also just found out today that one of our old dealers that always fronted us is back, so there's that. Obviously deleting/blocking all numbers would go a long way but that is just such a huge step that I'm just not ready for right now. Idk if I could ever do that TBH. Even after I quit for good, you just never know if some serious shit is going to go down and you might just need to relapse for a day, you know?

But honestly, like I said earlier, just going from using every day and constantly trying to find ways/money to use as much as possible, to going down to using once or twice a week is such a huge step. Only someone that's really been there can realize how something that seemingly sounds so small/still bad took a lot to get to. So the next step is definitely stopping, and we both want to. I say this every week, but I genuinely feel that this will be it for a while, because I would like to not have marks on my arms for Thanakgiving/the holidays. So here we go!

But ya, if the answer is (1), I know what you mean. I fucking hate women, but alas, I am one. Why can't everyone just chill the fuck out and be cool? I don't think I've had a single female friend that can keep up in that sense. They all think they're ~super cool~ and ~different~ lol ~girl gamerz~ or whatever. Especially the ones that are so chill about causal sex but end up being the most fucking emo ppl ever.

My last "BFF" that I recently lost (as a friend, not death) because she's a fucking emotional train wreck with genital herpes to match was like that. Fucking bitch.

But of course I can't just chill with guys like I used to. I'm in a serious, long-term relationship now and that shit is weird. I'm in my late twenties now and ppl are either married or coupled up, and that shit is just weird and inappropriate now, unfortunately :/

But hey, my boyfriend is the best friend I could ever have, on top of everything else, so it's worth the trade-off. Just a weird social rule I've noticed since college.

>>115280Makes sense. Do you have a gf that you're trying to better understand, or are you younger/in late HS maybe college & single and trying to improve your game? Lol. What threads here seem to tell you the most about how girls think?

>>115284Fucking samefag #3 but why is this all making me horny? Fucking rape fantasies and shit and I just spent like 10 Minutes writing about my clit in /g/. But I just cannot put forth the effort to masturbate right now. Even with the hitachi, that's just 45 minutes I don't feel like spending right now. Plus, there's no garuntee I'll even get there since I'm on dope. The ultimate orgasm killer, for men and women! <sup>TM</sup>

>>115287#1 Maybe you understand it, or think you do, but unfortunately most men don't.

#2 Maybe I wasn't totally clear, but still, just curious why you need such a feminine change of pace like this. Because it's such a niche site that is mainly dedicated to nitpicking and discussing other chicks that barely qualify as d-list wannabes. So do you follow some of these girls, or do you come here for the /b/ and /g/ content? And either way, these boards aren't nearly as fast as 4chan. And agreed, so don't tell them! Lol

Aight idk if this is just me and OP male, but it looks like someone else joined in above me. It's good we are sage-ing, but we should seriously wrap this up soon before we totally derail this thread lol. But OP Male, respond to my last questions above first! Lol because I really am curious abt why you come here. Thanks!

>>115293Aight, that makes sense. I am satisfied with that answer. Okay, last question. I must know what you jerked off to. I mean, doesn't need to be exact content, but I am just miffed what a guy would jack off to on this site. Most of the lolcows on here are fucking train wrecks, with the few attractive exceptions, but still, they look mad young so ew.

I'm not gunna sage this one, because it looks like we have come to a confession after all, namely, what is it is you're jerking off to on here. ( °( ° ʖ( ° ʖ °)ʖ °) °)

>>115297Um, oh. Idk make anon, I don't think I like you as much anymore, lol. A lot of girls on this site think that this is pretty much a haven for us girls, and most certainly aren't writing hoping some "creep" is reading, sorry to burst your bubble…ugh. That's exactly the type of thinking we girls hate. Not to sound like an SJW, but even us reasonable girls hate how guys seem to have that sort of mentality about everything we do. It's fucking disgusting and is almost certainly a factor in extreme cases where men who rape think the girl was "asking for it." I'm not going to act like some SJW an accuse you of being like that because it's totally a false equivalency and we are just on a stupid image board, but come on.

Girls here don't even like it when guys post in /g/, and I'm not sure if it actually is, but I'm willing to guess a lot think it's actually a bannable offense. I mean, I'm not sure if you're the guy who posted on the "Friend Finder General" thread, but if you are, you got that longtime /g/ thread moved to /b/ just because of that reply :/

It is so self centered to read something here and this k "oh man, I'm reading between the lines, and this post is for me".

Like, sometimes people post their true thoughts on an anonymous board. Why would they be writing it with the subliminal need to arouse our dear anon, when there are things like tinder? Or fetlife? Or those dirty pen pal subreddits?

>>115335It's almost funny, but more creepy TBH :( I don't like it, and I've posted a lot about my vagina today, lol. I mean fuck "safe space" bullshit. Like I said, I'm not a fucking SJW and this is the internet, the farthest from whatever the fuck a "safe space" possible, but this site was made for girls. I know the previous admin was a guy, but from what I heard about him/saw, he seemed very professional and stayed out of a lot of the girlies shit on here, besides providing amplemilk outing self posters! Lol. Plus, I got the impression he wasn't in to running this site at all, especially towards the end there. Hence why he gave this site away. Lastly, AFAIK, he tried to hide the fact he was a man for as long as possible for this exact type of reason. People were uncomfortable with a guy running a site like this. Until, of course it was finally revealed, and by then everyone knew what a badass and professional admin he had been, so it didn't rly matter.

>>115337Hmmm, a lot of my above reply was meant for you, too. But y thoughts exactly. It's fucking creepy. The one time I'm ready to give some guy on here who is proudly proclaiming he is male a free pass, and there he goes saying the most stereotypic shit here that most of us fear.

Like thank GAWD I've never posted a pic of myself on any of the friend finder type threads or if there's some like, idk, "show your mug" thread, because this creep could be fucking beating off to it. AGAIN, obviously no site is totally safe, but it took me a while to find this site. I feel like it's a pretty small community AFAIK. The traffic is nothing like 4chan. Idk how many unique users there are, but who would even want to come to a site like this unless you are a very specific type of girl.

Honestly, with all that's been said by male anon, you seem like the typical creepy robot. You're probably 17 because all of your responses seem pretty immature. You probably don't even know what this site is really about and don't know who anyone on /pt/ or /snow/ is. You literally read "girl" one day and just decided to be a total creep…ick. It's like, I almost want to watch what I post now because I read this after posting some very personal sexual shit on other threads. Ugh. It people like you who ruin shit for everyone else. Just GTFO, no one wants you here. You could have been cool and maybe even welcomed, but you completely have instead succeeded in creeping everyone else on this 95% female board.

Gah, I don't even want to know what the extreme SJW tumblrinas who I know come around here think. I suspect you'll really get reamed out later, because I feel like I was pretty tame.

I was worried abt derailing earlier, but you ended up posting a pretty embarrassing confession after all. W2G!

>>115339I don't think anyone is giving male-anon a hard time because of "safe spaces".

I think it is more the fact that he actually thinks some posters here are writing shit to specifically turn on creeps, is hilarious. It is such a stretch of the imagination, and it reminds me of guys I know who will be like "omg this girl on the bus has been flirting with me so hard! She always looks at me and touches her hair!" And I'm always like "looking at you means nothing. I look at shit all day. I touch my hair for a million reasons. It isn't a secret message. It is just hair."

Or it reminds me of guys who think baristas are flirting with them, instead of basic customer service.

It just makes me want to shake them and be like "you aren't the center of the universe! Not everything is about you!"

>>115379At the very least I can say that I don't get aroused by poorly written posts on an imageboard that is in all likelihood mainly frequented by ugly women, though you are right in principle that women tend to have a very toned down idea of male sexuality

I'm not, I even said that before. It's not like reading posts here would help with that anyway.>ya, I'm going to listen to him about women.

Regardless of whether or not you listen it's still true. What about my comments on men?

You stupid women have no clue how men think, especially regarding sexuality. Most men are mentally operating on a level far above women. They put on fake personas around you, and question whether they're too transparent, but then they remember how stupid and gullible women are.

>>115384Why does it matter though? I'm just trying to figure out in what way could I possibly give a shit if someone on the internet read a post I made and fapped to it. I barely ever posted pictures of myself to one site or another (certainly not imageboards) but if anything I'd just be slightly happy if someone fapped to them, in that at least that one person thought I was hot enough, but again ultimately I don't see any reason to give a shit. It just doesn't affect you personally in any way whatsoever unless you willingly let it affect you by consciously deciding that it actually bothers you.The reason one doesn't post their pictures on imageboards is because you realistically don't want people you know IRL to know that you also browse these websites, not that some "creep" may end up masturbating to them.

>>115387It is just hilarious that you are so delusional that you think some people came here to write posts, with the intent of arousing "creeps".

It shows an inability to think beyond your perspective, and put yourself in another person's shoes. What would even be the goal of doing that? How would we know about the creeps, unless they tell us that they're jerking off to our posts? What's to gain?

THEN you get your feelings hurt, so you post about how women really don't know anything about men's sexuality, despite that not being the topic of conversation, and the fact that you obviously have no experience with relationships so no one cares what you think about sexuality at all.

So, to boil it all down: it matters because you had a chance to blend in and participate here, but you fucked it up, and now we're mocking you.

Do you fall in love with every store clerk who says "hello?" No? Then don't be a dum-dum who thinks posts on an anonymous message board are there just to titilate creeps like him.

>>115387>if anything I'd just be slightly happy if someone fapped to them, in that at least that one person thought I was hot enough

a) just because you'd be happy doesn't mean everyone would beb) you're fapping to texts posts here. So I doubt it has anything to do with hotnessc) you sound desperate and inexperienced so of course you'd like to be fapped to

>>115392Christ, it's obvious from posting times, he's not going to have posted both >>115386 and >>115387 within one second, but you even go at it a good time after I post >>115391 and then comes this >>115393 retard that not only failed to notice the 1 second time difference between posts, not only failed to notice that the first guy never pretended to be someone else in the entire discussion and has a different tone to his posts, but even tries to damage control despite all that

>>115388Did you even read that girl's post? It's obviously not me. How did you even mistake her for me? You must have not read any of it.>It shows an inability to think beyond your perspective, and put yourself in another person's shoes.

If you were able to do this we wouldn't be talking about this right now.>What would even be the goal of doing that? How would we know about the creeps, unless they tell us that they're jerking off to our posts? What's to gain?

You are not every single woman that posts here. I did not say every single post a women writes here about sex is trying to arouse male/lesbian lurkers.

Do you really think that no female here has ever written a post intentionally meant to be arousing? No, that thought doesn't form in your mind, you tunnel-vision in on the thought of "he jacked off to MY posts".

This same exact female mentality happens can be exemplified from the current US election. "Trump insulted one individual woman? OMG Trump hates all women".

>>115405Typical female, does not understand why someone would ever do something that doesn't benefit themselves.

Why would someone give money/food to homeless people? What is there to gain?Why would someone ever donate anonymously? What is there to gain?Why would someone spend time dumping images on /c/ for other people? What is there to gain?

In this case however there is a mutual gain, believe it or not, there is some people (even girls!) who get satisfaction from sexually arousing other people. If you go on /soc/ you'll find plenty of female camwhores, and they're not getting paid to do that, why would they do that?

I think I'm developing real feelings for a teacher of mine, I'm at film school and we have so many similar interests, we talk after class just about our lives in general and it's a nice escape from my depressing home life, I'll never act on it for fear of rejection and him losing his job but my mind wonders and I do fantasise about the life we would have together.

You would never feed a homeless person without taking a picture and posting it on social media.

"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

>>115418I do understand the majority-female demographics of this board. Is there anyone here that isn't aware there is also males and lesbians though?

>>115424>Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.It really defeats the purpose of preaching about selflessness when you add "if you manage to keep it to yourself, the creator of the whole universe will give you brownie points! Isn't that great!?"

>>115438I don't understand how you could claim a post simply describing how anal was introduced to their relationships, in a thread about anal, to be intentionally trying to be fap bait, sex and sexual things can be spoke about normally without intending to turn others on.By this logic sex education classes are meant to turn people on.

>>115374No, it's in no way a failure to understand your libido. It's the douchebag entitled attitude you have about reading posts by girls, for girls and treating it like it's written for you, as if it's lesbian porn.

>>115378LOL anon, sick burn. Because you know he's totally a neckbeard who's in to hentai. I gathered his much from his "lol yeah I'm totes attractive" posts. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My father sexually abused me as a child. I didn't like what he did to me and how he hurt me or really anything about the situation, but I did eventually start to feel pleasure from the sex. One time when I was 12 I sat on his lap and basically started grinding on him. I was basically asking for it. I feel like such a disgusting person. I probably am.

>>115472I'd agree with you, but there were moments like when I sat on his lap. I was basically asking him to have sex with me, even though I didn't like the situation I was in or how he treated me. I don't know. There's so many emotions to that time period. I just feel a lot of shame.

>>115374>>I could pull out a few specific posts where I'm almost sure they're intentionally writing something arousing

Lmfao, oh god, if you haven't gotten banned yet, please do. I'm just waiting to see where this goes…

>>115385Lmfao my sides anon…r/incels. You totally beat me to it. And it's funny because you know it's true. Gawd, I just discovered that pathetic community yesterday. The fucking worship that school shooter guy…like wtf? As if he's some sort of God for killing girls that rejected him and all of the so called "Chad" type guys, absolutely disgusting.

>>115386>Most men are mentally operating on a level far above womenTop kek anon, do you post in r/IAmVerySmart too?! Jfc. Your replies are making you look even more pathetic TBH. But it looks like you got banned, so there ya go. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>115471You were a child who had been taught that sexualised encounters with him were normal and you had just started sexually developing. It's normal for children to masturbate at that age when they haven't been raised experiencing abuse as the norm. What you did wasn't asking to be abused, what you did was respond in a way you were likely specifically groomed to respond.

I hope you can reach a point where you don't blame yourself for experiencing abuse anon. You were a child. Your father was the pervert not you.

>>115474I've confided in a few people about my past history but never that I got satisfaction from it or ever teased my father sexually. I dont want people to think I'm disgusting or slutty. I'm actually very prudish and reserved and not very sexual, but when I was younger, I dunno. I was over sexual in a really bad situation and it makes me feel ashamed.

>>115479>>115501Is it really okay that I talk about it IRL? I've talked about my father sexually abusing me but I've never said that I started to enjoy the sexual pleasure or incited him for it. I always imagine people will just say that I deserved the abuse and that it's my fault, and maybe it is or it isn't, I'm not sure. Thanks for the kind words though, it means a lot.

>>115492Just want to let you know that I was in the same boat as a kid. I don't even fully understand why I did those things, and obviously I feel gross and weird about that, but I know it's not my fault and that I did nothing "wrong".

Please talk to a therapist about it. There'll be no judgement on their end because that's their job and they've most likely heard it all.

I'm thinking of leaving my husband. I've been taking care of his kids while he just sits in the background for too long now. I always seem to be the one who has to deal with major disciplinary issues and his crazy ex and her family's harassment. I stuck around because I love him but he takes me for granted and gets pissy with me when he gets stressed out about the ex and the kids. I'm sick of being unappreciated.

I'm afraid that I'm less valid in my sexuality because I've never been with a woman. I'm definitely romantically and sexually attracted to girls, but I've just…never had an opportunity. I've been in a committed relationship for 3 years now and he's definitely the man I want to marry, but I can't help but look back on my recent teenage years and wonder if I missed out on anything.

I'd never cheat or leave him (I DO love him with all of my heart), but I'm just…conflicted.

I've know this guy for I little over a year now and I'll admit I do have feelings for him. But he gets on my nerves cause he doesn't answer my texts and that's like the only communication we have rn. It sounds silly but I allow him more than a day to reply but I get nothing. I don't text him a lot because of this reason. It gives me the impression he doesn't want to talk to me but he says that's not true. He's shy but still he left me hanging about 10 times now and tired of it. I'll just wait to see him in person -.-

>>181174Anon, the idea of 'missing out on something' will only get worse if you dwell on it as you get older. My friend did the same - she eventually cheated after complaining that she'd only been with two men, lost her longterm bf and is now just a wreck of a person at 30. Best to just admire and find attraction with women in a casual sort of way rather than agonize over what will be.

Plus, not having the experience doesn't make you any less legit as a bisexual person.

>>181174you would be amazed how many dudes would die just to hear about/watch you with another woman. i had more prior relationships with women than you, but just telling my dude 'yo i would still like to be with chicks sometimes' actually worked. i can be with girls totally on my own, no involvement from him, and he's cool with it as long as i tell him in detail later.

you can absolutely love someone with all of your heart and still be physically attracted to other people. if your partner is cool with you expressing that physical attraction and is comfortable/confident enough to know you love them and only them, who cares?

or go with what >>181178 said and suffer your whole life not knowing, ymmv

>>181178I don't think about it every day, just often enough to warrant a confession I guess. I'm definitely trying to move on from it. Thank you for your reassuring words, though, it means a lot.

>>181185I know there are guys like that, but I don't think my boyfriend is one of them. In the best case scenario he agrees that it's super hot and would love to watch me/hear about my adventures with women. In the worst case scenario (which, having known him for 7 years, is more likely), he says 'absolutely not' and now he knows that I've thought about being with other women, whether it's romantically or sexually.

That's just not a risk I'm willing to make with him, I love him too much.

I'm really naive and easily talked/guilted into just about anything if you've got a good angle. I'm very aware of it and hate it with every fibre of my being.Growing up I was extremely sheltered and had the old Catholic guilt instilled in me very early on. I was always told to be 'good' and hard working, and so I was, but it's never brought me anything but trouble. Instead of being liked for being nice and polite I'm a total pushover and people used to take the piss behind my back because I'm extremely trusting and gullible. I'm not stupid, but I'm not very streetwise at all.

I hate it and want to become more normal but every single time someone says something bad to/about me I always wonder what have I done wrong even if I was perfectly sweet the whole time. I usually cop on after a while but I don't think I deserve to suffer and wonder what's wrong with me just because some minger decided to be pissy at me that particular day. I also hate that people treat me like I'm some spaz who doesn't know left from right just because I can't tell if someone is telling the truth.

You are aware and you will grow to learn new behaviors. You might fail at being more assertive/confident at first but before you know it you will have a spine and sass. You can still be hard working and good, but now you need to learn how to be the boss of your life. I know I sound corny but I come from a similar background.

>>181202You know your partner better than anyone and if you think the second scenario is more likely, then, yeah, don't bring it up because you can't put that cat back in the bag. It'll pass, honestly.

I got busted for yaoi when I was a teenager (lol) after my parents went through my internet history and now I'm permanently paranoid about covering my tracks when I do… everything. Even the normal daily life stuff, like I'll shred my shopping receipts before throwing them away.

>>181237My mom used to go through all my stuff and even my journals from when I was 8-9 and to this day I still inspect my entire apartment for cameras she might have installed here.

I have my own place, and I still don't feel comfortable anywhere, I'm always checking to see whether she's following or watching me. I left my keys with her when I traveled so she could care for my pets and I'm so fucking sure she made a copy of my keys and will drop by anytime to see what I'm up to. Or maybe she bugged my room and can hear everything that goes on.

>>181270Thanks for answering anon. I would only date someone 15-20 years older than me, but I'm always interested in hearing about larger age gap relationships. As other anons said, do you feel it's odd he's dating someone so much younger, or is this like his first huge age gap relationship and it just happened?

>>181294Our lives are definitely at different points, but so far this hasn't been much of an issue. We have so much else in common that the differences are rarely noticeable, and never a problem. It helps that I'm following a similar trajectory as his, so while we're at different points, we're on the same path, if that makes sense. It's so nice to be with someone who knows what they're doing from experience, especially when I don't.

>>181354I would find it to be a huge red flag if he were specifically pursuing younger women, especially women less than half his age. It's hypercritical, but I generally don't agree with age gaps this large. There are exceptions, but typically there is an obvious imbalance in power and resources, to the point of being exploitative to one or both parties (usually the younger, particularly with a larger age gap).

Initially my age gave him pause, and we agonized over this one issue for months before we decided to just go for it. We knew we would be fine, but we were still worried about what everyone else would think. Still are, to some extent. It doesn't change my feelings about our relationship, but we do get a lot of quizzical or judgy looks when we're in public together.

He was previously married for ~10 years to a woman who is a couple of years older than he is, and then he was in a relationship for ~5 years with a woman ~10 years younger. Neither of us has experience with an age gap like this. So maybe I'm just being hopeful or naive, but I don't think my age itself was a factor here.

>>181367Funny. I, for one, love to play along with people in public. Me and my spouse french kiss obnoxiously, eat ice cream like it's a spectacle, make lewd comments to each other, touch each other/hold each other… I guess we are THAT couple. I look hard at people who appear to be negatively judging us. I have asked them if they want to take a picture. There is a difference between staring and gawking. My spouse and I are about the same age difference apart as you and your bf.

>>181372I have no problem with age gaps but that's just grossGetting off on excessive PDA in public is just as bad as bringing sexual furry petplay out to Wallmart. Hold hands and visibly be a defiant couple, sure, but nobody wants to be made into participants for your exhibitionist fetish

>>181367>our age isn't the problem>older man gradually trading in his partners for younger and younger models>not suspicious at allAnon…At first I thought it was a coincidence but now it seems like he won't stop until he ends up with a toddler

When I was 10 years old and had my first real friend who came over for play dates and stuff (I was sheltered as hell), she eventually told me that my dad made her mom "uncomfortable" whenever they ended up talking. My dad is loud and boisterous but not creepy. Not everyone's cup of tea but not a bad person.

I've been REALLY self-conscious about this since. I'm 25 now and literally have not introduced any of my friends/boyfriends to my parents. I know that if someone doesn't like my family then it wouldn't work out anyway but still :/

>>181372Those people are probably gawking and staring because you're deliberately making a spectacle of your relationship. If you weren't making out in front of the yogurt aisle far fewer people would care about you and gramps being a couple.

One of my old friends from primary school had a baby recently. I'm really happy for her and her husband obviously. But they're really type A people, both hold doctorates in sciences, and so is her family, so when I see a photo of the child come up with the caption "you can be any kind of doctor you want" I can't help but hope that he grows up to become a bin man just to spite his family. It would still be a decent career with a good living, and he'd be able to live well, but it won't have near the level of prestige they probably want for him.

>I'm the middle friend between people who love to hate each other, let's call them Lana and Jake. >we are friends but Lana just loves to troll, tease and sometimes just be a bitch to Jake>and sometimes Jake acts so stupid like he's a living meme that I can't not agree with her>so we have a group chat - me, Lana and her bf, who also knows Jake, where we basically roast him>it's so mean sometimes that I feel guilty>Lana is roasting him openly, but I'm in shadows>she thinks it's super funny that I'm with them in her roasting chat but when she says something mean to Jake, he comes to me to whine>I screenshot my talks with Jake or when he whines or just stupid funny things and post it in Lana's chat, I have no idea why I do that, I think it's wrong, but it's like some dark secret and a guilty pleasure>I'm The Ultime Fake Bad Friend

oh man, this shit is for sure going to piss some people off>i once got angry at my mother (in her 50s) and pushed her to the ground for making fun of me. she cried but i was too mad to care.>i got my best friend in middle school expelled because i was angry that she made fun of my hair.>i adopted a cat because i started to think that cats were cute. my cat isn't cute and i wish i hadn't adopted him. cats are fucking lame and i don't care for them. i know this now, but its kinda late i guess.>i jerked off to the chicken scene in Pink Flamingos. i don't give a shit. boo hoo dead chicken.

you can laugh at me but I don't completely not believe in magic. >my cat that I loved like crazy was sick. They suspected FIP. If you don't know, it's lethal >they weren't sure, so we had hope and didn't want to put him to sleep yet>he was getting worse and worse>I decided to try healing spell… yeah… don't laugh. >i did all steps>in few days it was obvious he's dying. he had hours left>it took him whole day to go… he fought it so much…>the vet said it's incredible how well he was in his last days, and that he had very strong healthy heart>before when he was still in good health the vet said to be careful with him because of his very poor heart????>i googled the spell again and it was actually for heart diseases…>sometimes i thought that… maybe it's my fault for how long he suffered his last day>but those are just some intruding thoughts, it's not like i 100% believe i cast magic.anyway… yeah. Maybe it sounds a bit silly, bare with me. I've never told this to anyone

>>181653i'm interested in occultism too. if you think there's something to it, you should try and learn and practice more. realistically, yeah most people don't respect that kind of thing and will probably think you're batshit, but if you're interested, there's no reason not to pursue it further to see what it's about.

I love my boyfriend so much but hes so religious and im not and its so hard for me not to burst out laughing or roll my eyes whenever he talks about how "celeberties are devil worshipers" "the world might end soon" "everything that happens is part of gods plan"

Hes actually a very intelligent guy whose well educated with a good job but these wacko conspiracies are too much sometimes

>>181653I'm laughing but I also feel bad for you. You didn't prolong the cats suffering by playing Harry Potter anon. It's sad but magic isn't a thing and there's literally no evidence of it ever existing in any form. It's lovely to imagine that we can influence the world with our will but realistically, there's nothing out there that even suggests possibility whilst plenty of sciencetific research indicates that it's impossible in every way.

It's appealing to think crystals do anything, or that we have those metaphysical froo-froo wonders like auras and spirits and chakras but there's literal mountains of evidence showing that every case of supposed magic is deft trickery, or simply people choosing to take coincidence and bias as proof. Don't go feeling like you made your cat suffer. You just wanted to help it feel better in its last hours. He died with your kindness and love and that's the closest thing we can get to magic.

>>181653I don't believe in magic but I don't blame you for holding onto that feeling of "could be". Once when I was little I was in my backyard and the wind was blowing pretty hard and I quietly told it to stop and it just…did. Completely died down. I did it two more times successfully. A coincidence obviously but it was still kinda special.

>>181681>He died with your kindness and love and that's the closest thing we can get to magic.awww

after going from thinking i was asexual to getting into 2 serious relationships, i totally get why sexuality is a problem for people. i've dated my boyfriend for around 1.5 years. recently i got to know someone that also TAs a chem class that i do. we've been talking almost every day for almost a week and jesus christ he's hot. tall, thin, boyish looks, glasses, almost exactly my type. he also has the same type of humor as i do, intelligent, and likes to help people.

my bf hasn't really been up to much and he's kind of let himself go…so i've been finding myself fantasizing about the other guy, either dating or sex. i wouldn't do anything with him until we broke up and i know i would end up really missing my bf if we did. but i find myself staring at the other guy when we hang out and overcome with the urge to picture what he would look like moaning under me. fuuuck too bad i couldn't ever get even a threesome. he apparently dated + had sex with a 5/10 trashy girl in our major so i have a chance to be honest…but then again i wouldn't want to ruin my friendship if we started dating because i'm crazy and things can go south.

>>181696>fuck you for being hot dudeHow misogynists and misandrists are born tbh kek

But aanyway, totally a normal thing. People who act like it's sinful to ever have a crush whilst you're in a relationship are either uncommon or deluded hypocrites. Take this time to evaluate your relationship though, nothing wrong with doing the math to see if it's still worth it for both of you but just remember that infatuation and love are different beasts

>>181653You do you anon, if a placebo creates a false positive then it doesn't matter if it's 'false' does it? Many people are superstitious even if they say magic is crazy

>>181696Well, you know. It's really normal to fall in love with someone else while in a relationship. See, you're still young and no one expects you to be forever with your current bf.

I think you should make it clear to your bf though. Just talk about it, it's really the fairest thing to do. See, you would also find it better that your bf tells you if he falls for someone else right? I don't think he would hold a grudge against you. Sure, it will hurt him because that is not something you wish for, but in the end he will be thankful that you were completely honest with him. So in the end, the breakup itself will be much better for him that way. So well, maybe in the end you will be able to even keep being friends with him.

And regarding the hot dude, I think you should really give it a shot. Life is too short to miss out on a guy that makes your head spin.

>>181653Let's say magic is real and that was proof that it is real. (What I kind of believe, but still unsure) so I think even if it was just the wrong spell it didn't prolong his suffer. I think it was rather a wave of positive energy that he sensed came from you. Hell, maybe he was completely aware that you were giving your best to help him. And in his last moments he knew that you were 100% there for him and giving your love.

Whenever I see a fat girl sperging on how "curvez ar bettah" while putting down thin/normal weight girls I hope she's insulted as much as possible. You can't complain about "fatshaming" while saying that only dumb men go for a non-overweight girl and stuff like that.

I've never been mean to anyone but for some reason people just don't like me. Some do, but they're usually in the minority. I don't know if that's normal but it makes me feel bad.

Whenever I talk, the people I'm talking to seem irritable (even if I only say stuff like 'No thanks' or 'have a nice day' or whatever). Sometimes some of them look vaguely disgusted. I'm normal by all means and I shower etc regularly, and I'm not repulsive (or fat) either, something about me just rubs people the wrong way.

People tend to talk over me and boss me around, and some genuinely think I'm stupid even though I have the best grades in my uni year. When I do voice my opinion, people mostly react with 'oh god, shut the fuck up'. I rarely say anything polarizing, it's usually shit like 'I don't think we should do this because x'.

I get that I'm a doormat but the moment I stand up for myself I get treated even worse (by unrelated people). I tried 'faking it till I make it' but failed.

I know it's a common belief that these things can be 'unlearned' but I don't think so.

There's nothing wrong with me mentally or physically and I actually don't hate myself, but I don't know why this happens even with people I've never met before. It's like I have 'kick me' tattooed on my forehead.

>>183985I so relate to this except most people DO like me for that reason because I'm a doormat. So I have no reason to change except for all the shit that comes with being unable to say no/stand up for myself.

Are you or have you ever been in customer service by any chance? I used to be ridiculously shy and working in that domain helped a lot but all the social skills I learned involved being a doormat.

Aside from go to school full time I do nothing but lie around, to the extent that I've been neglecting my self care. I'm starting to feel disgusting but I literally can't stop retreating into my comfort zone aka my bed and mindlessly browsing the internet. I get so tired if I do literally anything else.

I'm so fucking done with everyone in my life right now but I pretend to give a shit and care because I don't want to come off as too bitchy. If it weren't for the fact that I have a stable job with benefits I would just run away to somewhere else and start over. Unfortunately, I don't have a specialization in anything so it would be hard to find another job now.

STORY TIME! so i have an online bf and we do sexual stuff of course. my bf used to do it to me sleeping because he has a fetish for that so recently i faked making noises and pretending im dreaming of him fucking me every night. now he waits for me to sleep and makes me keep my webcam on until i hear him say "i love you" again to check if i'll respond "in my sleep" so he can start stuff. recently he started making up fantasies that i respond to while im "sleeping". he will project rape fantasies (which isnt bad i guess he still wants me to know its him but just pretends to be forceful) and pretends we have to work on a project and i have to come over his house and teaches me how to touch him (strange i know but we dont know each other irl or anything). im not sure if its bad that im lying to him but he believes it and really thinks im sleeping

I'm a terriable person and I'm not saying this for sympathy I know what I am.

My ex is so in love with me he continues to give me money, knowing full well that we most likely won't be together because "being by my side is enough for him".

By money I don't mean meager amounts I mean he has paid for my rent in full on two occasions. I'm a college student out of state from no support from my mother, not because she doesn't support me but that she literally can't help me for she helps my other two sisters. So for the longest time I was in a relationship with him that lead me to eventually be unhappy but I stayed because school supplies and textbooks aren't cheap and FAonly gives me so much.

This week I was given 1200 via PayPal from him and a 600 money gram (since PayPal has a cap for each month of what you can withdraw)

Part of it went towards rent and food, while the other part was shopping. He isn't the only one too, I have another guy who gives me money or things I want, not to the level of my ex but still.

I game to in order to relax after studying, I don't pay for the subscription because the guys in the discord group pays for it and any other game related things I need. I would like to say it bothers me how I can get all of this stuff for basically doing nothing but I don't feel much of anything.

I don't have to work ontop of studying (besides work study which doesn't really count I just resheleve books all day and put new ones into the school library system) and anything I want within reason I can just simply ask for the funds for, I don't tell my mother because she worries and I know she wouldn't want this but I don't want her to stress about helping me for getting by out here.

I wouldn't say proud, I don't feel much of anything beside relief if anything? If that make sense. I don't have to kill myself trying to keep my scholarship and work an insane amount which is what I feared going in.

But the process of just being given all of this, it has changed me that I don't feel anything. I don't know what to feel at this point.

>>184981You already admitted you're a bad person for taking advantage of these people so you DO know what the right thing would be to do, you really came here hoping someone would tell you it's okay or even awesome to be doing it.

It's not. It's shitty and selfish and all that. Don't look to others to justify your ickiness. Either accept that you're a half step above a thief or scammer and move on or stop and don't expect sympathy for not having video games.

>>184977You're a horrid person and I hope you change your ways before you grow up to take advantage of more people.

Also, 'boohoo, working with a scholarship. I managed to do my full four years with scholarships and work enough to support myself. Nobody paid for my university. Same with my best friend who went on to do her masters. Stop placing the fact you're lazy on why you have to steal money from someone who has given it to you in good faith.

>>184996Because it's knowingly and deliberately taking advantage of someone in order to sit around and play video games like a pampered little kid. It's not even the moral issue, it's what it says about them as a person. Selfishness, laziness, and willingness to use others don't exactly make up a great personality or set of personal values. Imagine if someone like this was training to be a therapist for vulnerable people. Selfishness isn't something to brag about, it's ugly.

It takes a special kind of autism to type this up.>Anon going to school with a scholarship >Anon does work study>Anon says her mother can't help her/him.>Anon's Ex knows his place but still want to help her/him out.>You sperg out saying they plays video games all day when it clearly seems they trying to get a career

You don't know the situation, you don't know what they are studying or where they are living. Not everyone has mommy and daddy to give them money, not everyone can work while in college because it really depends on what they are even studying in the first place, and it's pretty obvious loans were out of the question since anon didn't go that route. I'll go on a hunch and say the scholarship is GPA related, keeping up that GPA while working isn't easy, and only gets worse

It's not selfish, nobody forced the guys to give her stuff of finance her school/living. What is sounds like, at least as far as the ex is concerned, they know what they are doing. They are all grown, if they feel bubbly for helping anon, or if the ex feels he still wants to help her than that their decision.

Like everyone above already said, if they know they aren't getting anything out of it than let the losers give her money. Anon will just laugh at this a few years later when they graduates debt free and able to use every cent they earn right off the bat to live comfortably.

It's a goddamn confession thread, anon clearly wasn't looking for a pat on the back, they came to confess christ.

You sound like those autist that coddle males who donate hundreds of dollars to grill gamerz about how they are being swindled.

>>185067Me neither, STEM girls act like special snowflakes and usually jerk each other's cocks about feminism and how everyone mistreats them, whereas STEM guys (especially CS majors) never shut up about their future '1 gorillion starting' paychecks and how all the women that rejected them are going to pay (because guys like that are an absolute prize, apparently).

I don't like finance majors because they're all annoying wannabe bros only there for the money and 'stock trading LOL', accountants are OK though. I don't mind other business majors except marketers, they should all collectively sudoku.

>>185071The money part is what annoys me the most, especially when they put down my degree (in the humanities) because it's 'useless', like they're going to make six figures with just their bachelors. I met a "premed" today who was acting like she had already made it in, and she was only in her first year. Most of them don't really seem to care about science either, they're in it for the money they think they'll make. I ask them why they want to do X and they almost never mention that they like their field. I can understand being pragmatic, but there has to be a way of finding something that doesn't destroy your soul and pays the bills.

Marketing majors are absolute cancer, I agree kek. Every accounting major I've met has been extremely boring.

>>185073Most accountants I've met have been a lot like Cyril Figgis from Archer (minus the adultery), surprisingly. Sweet, kind of awkward people just trucking on and living their lives without much else interesting going on. Recently there's been an influx of financefags switching to accounting because finance is saturated and people are finally realizing they can't be Leo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Street. You can always tell which ones they are, too.

Kay. Enjoy your moral bankruptcy. Also you don't know she's not leading them on, either, nor the circumstances of why they're giving her money (as in, she might have asked for it firstly) But enjoy your crossjerk that every person who thinks that's shitty behavior is some sort of asshole man or a girl who's jealous.

When I was interning one summer I got close with my coworker because we both found out we like to play games and other geeky things. She invited me into her boyfriends discord group so we could all play mobs together and pathfinder.

The best way to find groups like this would probably be forums or join groups when invited in multiplayer games. A lot of the new people who join the group were found by one of us playing something on console game or mmo and think they were chill enough to join.

I'd say that I hope some maniac kicks down your door and cuts your head off with a machete but I'd probably do the same if I had some millionaire cougar gf. On another note, guys who do this shit are ultimate betas, walking doormats and are looked down by every guy who isn't a pussy.

Sometimes I fantasize about how my boyfriend would react if I did something awful to him, like cheating. I would never actually want to see him like that but there's something morbidly exiting when I think about it.

Yes, I feel you.It was a handful of factors that changed me, but I think one in particular was this "transgirl" I know that is one of the worst persons I've ever met, totally personal cow. She transitioned to get more attention for her narc ass and she lied about her Lattes, her name, where she's from… And talks everyday about the "struggles of being a trans woman but succeeding academically" when guess what - all her "success" was achivied when she was still a man. So groundbreaking, right? >muh hardshipsAh, also, she used to make fun of trans people before transitioning. And made fun about lesbians too. And she used to call me "man-face" all the time, yeah, much for "breaking gender stigma", right?

Also, I started thinking, isn't cotton ceiling totally against the thought that "woman like butch lesbians because they are women, not 'fake men'"? Did we regress? Why can't you be a dude that is super into dresses? Even if you want a pair of tits, why can't you still be a dude? Gender (and therefore gender-roles) abolitionism is the answer, I guess.

Sorry, I digressed a bit.

Worst part is that I can't even express any of that openly, many people I know would demonize me and shit. Sucks.

Samefag but, with that being said, I probably would never ""missgender"" someone because I still don't like making people uncomfortable and stuff, and I do care about real trans problems like high suicide rates and prostitution and stuff, but damn, I really wish they would stop. Kids are getting the most shit out of all this.

i called my boyfriend daddy in bed and it's kind of hot…we've been jokingly calling each other it for weeks as a way to mock the online trend (e.g. me: "i'm going to kill you" him: "yes daddy") since we both agree DDLG is pretty gross. i have no idea where the urge came from, but i felt i like it was right in the moment, and now we've both said it a few times unironically during foreplay/sex. i clarified i still didn't like any part of a DDLG relationship and daddy still feels wrong to say. or maybe now it's just more taboo.

our dynamic is one where he regularly dominates me, and saying "babe" or his name doesn't capture that and master just feels weird lol. he's younger than me (we're barely out of teenagehood), very slim, and kind of a bishounen so definitely not what a typical "daddy" is. i really just want a way to express submission.

so yeah anons let me know if you have alternatives to daddy please help me be less of a degenerate

Not sure if this is better for the vent thread or what but I've been getting panic attacks lately about death. I had a dream a couple of weeks ago where I was dying, the dream was peaceful enough but my dreaming mind realized that if I died I would cease to exist. Where would my conciousness go? I woke up from it in a panic and major anxiety and now I keep getting intrusive thoughts about the inevitability of dying and and how I will cease to be. It's been scaring the hell out of me and now I'm getting full blown panic attacks because of it. I'm not religious so I can't find comfort in an after life, I just keep thinking about how some day I won't be thinking anymore. I'll just be gone.

i don't believe that all fat people are fat because they're lazy and that their weight doesn't define their worth, but my best friend is such a stereotypically lazy, gluttonous fatty that it makes me cringe sometimes.

What frustrates me is watching spend tons of money every month ordering somewhat expensive clothes(mostly liz lisa) from Japan on top taking 2 trips to Japan this year. It seems like she's spending a ridiculous amount of money despite only being middle class. I'm also annoyed that she mostly buys Liz Lisa when there are so many awesome brands she could spend it on. I also wish she had more variety in her blog posts, other then hauls and japan posts. She's got the money to post cool stuff but she focuses mostly on posting the same boring Liz Lisa coords(I do like Liz Lisa but their clothing can be repetitive).

I know it's her money to spend how she wants and I don't dislike her for it. I understand this jealously is irrational and stupid but for the past year I've been jealous of people I follow on social media since my financial situation has been shitty the past year and I've been regretting how much time I've wasted on school. Luckily I'm graduating this semester and can start working on my career and be satisfied with my life.

>>188026Pretty sure she lives with her parents anon so she probably doesn't pay rent and can spend her money however she wants. Even someone with a low paying job can afford such a lifestyle if they don't have bills

I'm fat again and it's grossing me out. All the bad food has been making me sick and I'm lazy, sluggish and tired because of it. I need to get off my ass, get healthy and lose weight yet again. I've been so fit many times but when something really stressful happens I just stop caring about being fit. How do I stop doing that?

>>188052I don't actually see a baby as a tether, lol. I mean, dude already wants to marry me. The impreg thing was kinda tongue-in-cheek, I'm just like, weirdly turned on by the thought of his bank account/financial security. I grew up poor as shit, and if we get married someday, I will literally be a millionaire. Or at least the wife of a millionaire.

>>188070Oh, I didn't know that. Her spending makes much more sense then. For some reason I thought she was living with her boyfriend in her own place. Reading back through the post I linked, I saw that her grandparents paid her college tuition so she doesn't have debt to worry about either.

a year ago i found out my (ex) boyfriend cheated on me and we broke up. i wanted revenge but i didn't do it then because it wouldn't been obvious im over it now ofc, moved on but i still wanted my revenge because I'm petty and he was a shitty personmy friends wanted to dent or soraypaint his car but i had a better idea

last night we spray painted the Supreme box logo on the side of his car (so it looks like he's tacky and put it on there himself), kek.

>>188186haha i knew someone would get pissy. to be fair, you don't know the whole story- he was horrible (he never hit me but he hit his mom), was a 'former' druggie (i believed in giving people second chances, when we met he swore he would quit, turned out he was stealing my money and he pawned my purse which was the ending point tbh). also we don't have cctv here, kek.

i never got caught and i'm moving states away for medical school so it doesn't matter anyway. maybe he should've thought before he pawned off my stuff :^)

>>188204He sounds like a scumbag but your revenge makes you seem as mature as a 13 year old tbh. There were way better ways to handle it, and petty vandalism is still petty vandalism regardless of your reasoning. Grow up.

At this point, all I want to do is beta orbit a sad qt and give her advice and emotional support. It satisfies my codependency issues by making me feel needed and I can thrive off of the events of her social life to supplement my own boring, isolated existence. I know this is pathetic but I don't know if it's necessarily wrong or not.

>>189088It is pathetic but it can be hard to fight. You're not alone really, in most LDR's (that aren't LDR where there was an actual real life relationship and then they were seperated) at least one person is doing exactly that and you'd be surprised how much it's the girl.

I lactated for the first time last night. Self-induced, of course. I am definately not pregnant. It was only a few drops each side, but hopefully there'll be more milk if I keep at it. I'm pretty excited, but it's certainly not something I can tell anyone in real life.

Fenugreek increases milk supply although I'm not sure if it only works on an established supply.

I'm a new mom and I'm actually using it right now. Pediatrician says fenugreek increased hers by 30% when she used it. I was told taks 3 capsules 3x a day. Theyre kinda big but the tea is less effective. I recommend taking them after meals.

>>191236Well, the night before I slept topless, with a fan on (So my nips were hard), spooning a pillow. The next day, I played a lot of sexy flash games, but never finished myself off, if you know what I'm saying. That night I was playing with my boobs as I was trying to sleep and felt a little wetness. I turned on the light and, low and behold, there were tiny droplets of milk coming from my nipple. To make sure it was a fluke or, I don't know cancer, I tried with the other side and succeeded getting milk from that one too. I wasn't stimulating the nipple exclusively, but kind of massaging the whole thing feom top to bottom. You know how deeper down, there are those harder spots in the tits? The ducts or whatever, well I was massaging those the same way I would rub a muscle cramp, trying to work out the knots. I made more progress with massaging on the lower half, below the nipples, in an upward motion, towards the areola. After rubbing them for a while, I squeezed around my nipple in, well, a milking motion. I'm not even busty, I'm only a large A-cup, but lacation has always been a fantasy of mine, so I'm pretty happy. Go for the ducts underneath before you start squeezing your nips. As for meds, I am on a birth control patch, and I've recently started taking Biotin. Dunno if that has anything to do with it though.

My boyfriend is perfect but there's just one thing>His female best friendI can't help but feel jealous over herShe's slightly pretty but other than that there's no red flagsThey don't even hang out often & she has a bf But I feel like maybe my boyfriend had a crush on her before or maybe there was even a thing between them. I don't know what makes me think that other than that she's not ugly.I will never ask him about his past with her because I'm too scared but I do feel like I'm jealous over nothing.I never dated a guy that had a female best friend so I just can't help but feel extremely jealousShe even wanted to hang out with me but I'm too autistic and don't want to :(How do I cope with my jealousy?

>>191465Jealousy is a valid feeling, just like envy, despite both being the most taboo feelings in modern society. If they weren't serving an important purpose, they would never have evolved. Jealousy helps motivate you to keep something you consider valuable that you have, envy helps you obtain something you consider valuable that you don't have.

They're only bad if they spiral out of control. So be jealous. Just don't act on it irrationally, use it as your warning signal, that's what it's there for.

>>191465My best friend is male, but I would dump him if the relationship got really serious (engaged) and my significant other had a difficult time accepting him. It would take a very serious relationship though, and speaking for myself, we have fooled around, but aren't actually attracted to one another and wouldn't do anything if one or both of us were in a relationship.

Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but I'd just suggest speaking with your boyfriend. I can't imagine he would get angry over you sharing your feelings on this subject. It's OK to be jealous, but try to keep in mind the reason they are best friends and not lovers is because obviously they have no interest in taking the relationship to that level.

>>191465Ugh, my husband has an ex who he's still friendly with. If the girl wasn't a depressed ball of darkness, I would have put my foot down a long time ago. Her saving grace is the depression makes her a shit friend, so all their plans always falls through. So they just share dog memes from Reddit half the time. >tfw you can't say shit, or you're an asshole

I'm in my mid 20s and I don't have a life. I never had a bf or gf and I stopped having friends around age 20 and don't even miss them. I live with my parents. I never went to college and have very little work experience. I feel like I'm still 15. I don't go outside for months and I have no desire to do anything most of the time.

Every now and then I admire someone and try to emulate them because I'm jealous of their life but then I fall back into doing nothing. Sometimes I just cry or stare at the wall for an hour. When I go outside men look at me and it kind of just scares me. I know I act like a kid and people can tell.

>>191497Dude I know I'm depressed but there is no help. I tried all the usual stuff, went to therapy for 2 years, did shrooms, weed, do sports regularly, it never goes away. I know it's always going to be around. People keep saying you can cure depression but at this point it just annoys me. Mine isn't going anywhere, I keep slipping in and out of it.

I'm really unhappy that my bf is circumcised. I've always been uncomfortable with circumcision since I know what it should be like normally. It's so gross and dried out and the scarring, it's weird and unnatural, it's supposed to be an internal organ. The fact that he's missing the most sensitive part of his sex organ and ruining the remaining part is slowly being ruined is scary to me. I'm from a country where it's common but I still feel it's terrible. The worst thing is that he is from a country that doesn't do it and he had it done for a fake medical reason that his mom bought into cause she's stupid. They just did it to take their money.

It's made me so depressed knowing that he'll never be able to have sex normally, knowing he's like this forever and that he'll slowly enjoy sex less and less. It's making me want to be missing parts of -my- body or something, and it's making me want to leave my backwards country. It's just made me question so many things…I'm so depressed every day over it, I feel sick now just thinking about it…

>>191495in my experience guys like that are either players or babies. their "girl friends" are just girls they want to hook up with, or girls that coddle them and act like their mom. but maybe the men around here just suck.

>>191505reading your post anon reminded me of myself a few months ago. hell i think i even posted something really similar in the venting thread. i've been depressed my whole life (well, since I was like 13/14 maybe) and it really affected how i turned out- also in my mid-20s, never had a serious relationship, don't have close friends anymore, don't talk to anyone besides my parents. On and off so many antidepressants and nothing worked. Honestly, it wasn't until very recently that I started taking antipsychotics that my depression went away. I was so scared to start them because i thought, i'm not psychotic, i don't have delusions or mania or anything like that, and the side effects scared me. but i was about ready to kill myself because my life was so dumb and pointless so i figured nothing could be worse. and for the first time in my life, i'm not depressed. im still sad and weird, and don't have friends. but i don't wake up every day wishing i was dead, or feeling like some combination of a ghost, and alien, and an infant completely unable to relate to anyone my age.

But its hard because I remember being in the place it sounds like you're at, and there's really nothing anyone could have said to make me feel like it would get better. it's hard when you have no proof of things ever changing to feel like they will. i don't even honestly know why i stuck it out long enough to get here. luck i guess. but its been almost a month now and i've had no suicidal thoughts, for the first time in my life i'm just not depressed. it sounds insincere but it really is possible there is something out there that could help you that you havent tried yet. even if you feel like you've tried everything, it might just be something that hasn't even been offered yet and you just have to find it.

After dealing with social anxiety, I finally got my first job however I wasn't paid the first month and two weeks. When I was finally paid, I was paid 50$ less of what I should've received. So the only way I had to try and make a little is hope that someone would give tips and bless their souls, some do. Now my manager has given me no work for two weeks now and I'm planning on going on vacation at the beginning of June but I fear that my manager might use that opportunity to fire me and I don't know what to do. My mom thinks I'm fine but I've been crying myself to sleep and I just can't eat because I don't want to waste money. I took a semester off just so that I can work a little more but lmao I haven't gotten a single day of work since. I know people would probably say that I should go find a new job but if you don't have any connections to anybody your chance of getting the Job is 6%. ive applied for many jobs and still no luck. I don't know what to do now, I've finally gotten over my anxiety but now it's creeping up on me again and I honestly feel like I'm a good for nothing piece of shit. Sorry for the rant-

my (actually normie) bf plays dnd over skype with a bunch of robot-tier losers once a week, and i go out of my way to act like the perfect waifu in the background because i know they can hear me and it makes them jealous. i'll always cook a nice semi-fancy dinner with dessert so bf brags about what he's having to them - bf just thinks i'm bored hehe. one of them in particular is a salty little fuck who has openly stated how jealous he is of my bf and i low-key hate the guy (he creeps on me and my friends), so hearing him whine in jealousy is so satisfying. pleases me to hear them whinging about 'tfw no gf' while they eat frozen meals in their mom's houses.

>>191518did you even read either of the posts you're replying to? the anon said that they know they are depressed and have tried treatment.>everything goes wrong and having no social outlet causes the depression.that's literally exactly what I said

I've been sad and crying on and off for two days because some characters in a TV show I watch died. I don't even like the show much anymore, and I feel so stupid. It's not even real. But I get sick to my stomach and so sad whenever I think about it, I want to slap myself lmfao. Why do I get so sad?

I fear I'm going to lose my bf if I don't pop him a baby. He has always been telling me he didn't want one but lately he's been low-key talking about marriage and stuff. I'm not sure if he's just joking or trying to freak me out. I don't want to pop a kid but I'm starting to feel like I have to. I'm failing at being a productive adult and having nothing to show for it at almost 30 makes me ashamed.

marriage doesn't equal babies, anon. Unless he's including future kids in his plans. You need to make it clear that you don't want a kid, you can't compromise on a child (if you have one and you don't want one, you'll resent it and him, as a child from that situation I can say that kids know when they weren't wanted no matter how much you try and force yourself to love it).

>>191596>marriage doesn't equal babiesI'm married and childless, but you'd be surprised how many people think it does. I got married to my then-bf in my early 20s (to get away from my nutso mother, inb4 hurr Venus) and neither of us want kids ever, but every single time I tell people that I'm married I get bombarded with questions like>ooh, are you pregnant?>did you get married because you got pregnant?>when are you going to get pregnant?>ooh so you're planning on expanding the family, hee hee>when are you going to get kids?>it's good to be a young mum, your body will bounce back!>but you're still in college!>how are you going to study and take care of baby at the same time?Ad nauseam, and I never even mention children.

For a lot of people marriage is just something you do when you get pregnant because you don't want a bastard in the family. Those vows about love in sickness and in health just don't count anymore, apparently.

>>191506I've been both with uncircumcised and circumcised and the circumcised guy was so much better tbh he seemed like he enjoyed sex more he would cum faster too (which I prefer) but other people may have had other experiences idk…i honestly miss the sex we had with /vent

I am viscerally disgusted by fat people and that disgust has been turning into a resentment that's bordering on outright hatred. I certainly hate that society has normalized it to the point that some fat fuck can feed his fat children McDonald's three times a day and I can't report him for child abuse. No one even talks about the brain damage it causes. People just walk around every day like this is normal and okay, but it's not.

i am super attracted to a guy that comes into my work regularly. i think he is married so im not going to even try to hook up with him. but i get so embarrassed around him because i think about him a lot when i masturbate.

I mentioned to my boyfriend that I was unsure about marriage, since all my coworkers at my job are engaged

He started talking about how he thought marriage would be great and what kind of ring he would get me, and while I pretended to be okay and joked with him about it, I got seriously nauseous and threw up after he left because the idea terrifies me on so many levels

I've been slowly distancing myself from people that I don't want to associate with anymore and I don't feel bad when they catch on. It's more of a relief than anything, knowing that I don't have to pretend that I genuinely enjoy their company and have to hang out with them.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend in three weeks and I think I want to break up with him. It's too late to back out now (I'm actually moving away from where I am now, have a new job, already have a place) so I can't tell whether this is just nerves or not. He's catching on to my weird moods and thinks it's down to stress/me wanting to finish my current job and just move already, but I don't really know.Thank god for this thread ;_;

>>191980Ah you're moving somewhere new together, that sucks. At least it's only a six month contract. Maybe it won't be so bad to hold off for a bit. You might even discover you want to stay with him afterall.

>>192113I caaan't, I'm not even in the church. Who wants to pay their retarded taxes? I'm actually really against organised religion and don't want to support these fuckers but my kink is strong. I even attended service a few times somewhere in the back row. I don't like what he says but I like how he says it and the chasuble is a major turn on. I need help.

>>191601You need to be more in your body, exercise isn't a meme, but any movement helps.Also try to get angry about being depressed (which is pretty hard to do but sometimes it works, express anger with your whole body)

I recently got involved with a guy who lives abroad, and I'm graduating HS soon. There was this senior party where a bunch of girls in my class slutted it up with a guy I've had a semi-crush on for years, but was too scared to actually approach. It was ridiculously easy for them to push themselves onto him, too. I low-key wish I got to fuck him as well, and now I've missed my chance. I'd never be unfaithful to my boyfriend, so I feel pretty guilty about these feelings.

>>192175I'm not so sure about that, anon. I know long-term couples who met online at first, and their relationship only strengthened when they met in real life.It's definitely not for everyone, but that doesn't make them completely invalid IMO. Plus, with the advent of Skype, FaceTime, etc, it's a lot easier for people to interact more closely (and harder for them to form inaccurate impressions of each other).

>>192176she's in high school though anon. for the bulk of people relationships formed online over a long period of time fail. between independent adults, if it's like a few months or a year online and then IRL it could be different but the stuff OP is talking about isn't going to develop that quickly.

>>192177I'm the high school anon. I understand what you're saying, but I also feel like you're being a bit presumptuous. A lot of LDRs don't work, sure, but they're not impossible or anything. If there are actual feelings on both sides at play, and both parties understand each other + are willing to make it work, is there really that much that makes them any less "real" than if they had met IRL?

>>192182I'm not sure how or why you came to that conclusion (except based on your own personal experiences, which don't necessarily dictate the whole of reality), but alright, I guess. You're entitled to your opinion.

>>192183Eh, we're going to meet in September and possibly live together further down the line. We've also been together for almost a year now. I just think it's a bit silly to write off relationships that don't begin in the most traditional sense as "not real".

Just stop please. My fiance is from the other side of the world and every time he goes to visit for even just 2 weeks I remember how easy it is to get disillusioned by the distance. I've lived with him for over a year now but I still find I have to remind myself that I'm too idealistic when he's far away. I also have been in a few LDRs when I was younger and they ended once I met them. People see what they want, people also show what they want you to see. It's much harder to notice that online, since you're usually interacting one-on-one and you can't see how they are with family, friends, or in public in general. Just take a step back and really think about this stuff.

>>192186i have to agree with other anons here, one year is far too long to keep something like this going. i was thinking a few months, tops. you're still really young and likely don't have much experience with people in general, let alone relationships. this guy is probably hiding alot of his personality, but chances are you don't even get a chance to really interact with him. 1 on 1 interactions don't really count for shit unless you're really close with the person, so chances are this guy is totally different around anyone else.

To LDR anon: I'm in one, it's been about a year since I last saw him in person, and will be a few months until I move closer to him.

It is different from a real irl relationship, and one year is a really long time to go if you haven't even met the person yet. Just be careful with your feelings and don't believe you are ~so in love~ until you meet in person. Also, be mindful that the first meet might just be good behavior. With my bf when we met we were basically stuck in his apartment for the entire 3 weeks. Plenty of time and opportunity for the facade to break and reveal our true feelings, but we were fine. Maybe a little sick of each other from the constant face time but it's not like irl is being stuck together in an apartment forever either. So we were ok.

If you're regretting passing up a very real opportunity to fuck another guy (v different from thinking about it or fantasizing) then you're probs not gonna make it.

I'm ok bc my irl life has no time for a real bf so the LDR is pretty convenient and if we weren't together i'd be single anyway.

Honestly, in many ways I do like being depressed. I think my view of myself and the world is more accurate, and I like my personality and reactions more when I am depressed. I just wish it wasn't so consuming and overwhelming, and it wouldn't keep my from being happy even when I should be.

>>192238>I think my view of myself and the world is more accurateYou should be striving to better yourself and have a positive impact on the world, that's what non-depressed people do. Instead you are proud of passively mirroring the current situation. Not good.

>>192323Not that anon nor do I share their opinion on the world (I'm cynical but I still see a lot of positivity in existence), but I genuinely think my presence is a leech on the world. I've been trying to make myself a better person (on a grant, getting good grades, trying to be more positive), but I still feel like everything good that happens to me is wasted and should go to another person.

I have a weird relationship with my depression and my sense of self. Sometimes I'm ridiculously adamant that my tastes or beliefs are superior, while in the next moment I'm lower than human garbage.

Wish I could just exist as an omniscient being who can watch tv and listen to conversations instead of having to participate, tbh.

So I struggle a lot with my confidence especially when it comes to my body. I used to be a little overweight and unfortunately with the birth control pills I take to help with my periods have caused me to gain a little more weight but luckily I am now on a nice,comfortable exercise and meal schedule. However due to my weight gain I have gained stretch marks and I hate them but my boyfriend calls them tiger strips and always calls me his feisty little tiger. I swear this dork is so cheesy and just a huge ass sweetheart, sometimes I have to make sure I'm not being delusional and show myself he's not a part of my imagination. Sometimes it even freaks me out because of how much of a gentleman and cheesy person he is and how in the fucking hell I happened to be the person he fell in love with. I respect him so much and honestly I'll give him the world if he asks for it

But you see because of how much of a kind hearted and cutie pie he is, I have realized how much of a pervert I am because it comes to the point where, I want to take his used boxers and do stuff. I want to humiliate him a little (in a sexual way) and then baby him and tell him that he's done a good job. I want to dominate and control him and make it so that he knows the drill of greeting me at the door while wearing only the tight underwear that I'll choose for him and many more things.

I am extremely disappointed in myself because I was never like this until he came along. I didn't even know I had kinks until we would talk dirty with each other. I feel like I'm no good for him Since it makes me feel like I only want him to statisfy my sexual needs because it has kinda escalated and now I can't stop doing my business when I look at his selfies or his voice recordings ffs

youre probably allowing yourself to come to terms with how life actually is rather than having the comfort of hope around but anon, if it really is overwhelming and making you unable to be happy, you should seek help. That sort of mindset will eventually break you down and your view of everything will become so warped, you'll feel like it's crystal clear when really it isn't and it will possibly make it so that you can't even leave your house and you'll be nothing more than a neet

Have you found anything else that enables you to experience the same view and understanding of the world just like when you're depressed?

My boyfriend's brother is the most awful human being I have the displeasure the be forced into contact with. I hope I outlive him. I want to be at his funeral sometime in the future (hopefully soon) with a smile on my face.

>>192388Less introspection, more action. What you do should be a much bigger focus than who you think you are.

First, there is no such thing as an objective view of yourself. Other people will always perceive you through the lens of their own experiences, plus different people value different things, so you will be judged differently on the same thing.

How you will view yourself is hence just a matter of choice, and should be utilitarian - choose that view which helps you grow the most and hinders you the least, and change it up as needed to fit that goal. It should be fluid, not set in stone, so that you can change and grow.

And it should be secondary to your actions. Think of all those self-proclaimed geniuses who never amount to anything because they never put in any effort. As long as you do the best you can and strive to follow your own values, that's enough. THAT'S what shapes who you are objectively, and that's what will make you into the person you want to be - the best version of yourself.

>>192504It's actually surprisingly common, people forget stuff like that all the time, don't worry. A good idea is to set an alarm or something around lunchtime if it happens consistently. Just keep at it and you'll push through, i believe in you.

I like watching end of life and death videos on Youtube because I feel marginally better that at least right now I'm not dying a horrible death or putting my family in pain.And well, 'save it for another day' I guess. For as long as possible.

I sonder at how death is going to come for us all and really how most of us will be forgotten in three generations or less.

I really hate the lbgtq " community " on tumblr. It's full of heterosexual teenagers using labels to make their boring ass personality and identity more " interesting ". What bothers me the most is that underage kids are using these labels without a care and put their sexuality on their pages. It scares me because apparently the whole world forgot what homophobic people did to queer people? Do " trans " kids understand that people want them dead? Do " lesbian " girls realize its only okay to be lesbian if you allow yourself to be a fetish to straight guys? I don't take anyone under 25 who identifies as something out of the straight spectrum seriously. I could go on, but seriously I'll take attention whoring scene kids over lgbtq so called activist with 400 pages of triggers and kins.

For years I've had a crush on my brother, it probably happened because we didn't grow up together and I was always so happy when we finally got to see each other.He's handsome and funny and thus has a gf, obviously I am not seriously hoping for anything. I'm fine with living through terrible fake incest-"sister found step-brother JERKING IT and SUCKS HIM OFF"-porn, and whenever I watch a new series/anime I immediately ship the pair of siblings.To me he's the perfect guy but I'd never act on it in real life.

I can't tell this to anyone ever, feels good to finally get it off my chest

I've low-key been thinking about going to young adult church groups recently to meet people my age because I'm lonely and the only interaction I get is at work. I don't really have any friends near me because we all have graduated college and kind of moved on (aside from the occasional video chat here and there) and there aren't any bars or clubs around here (Podunk, Texas life RIP)

My biggest problem with this is that I'm not religious in the slightest… I just want to meet people, but I am kind of really bad at it.

>>192675That sounds like an ok idea anon, but be prepared to find a few racist/homophobic/sexist zealots in there as well as a few nice people.You could even just say that you're interesting in exploring 'believing' but still working it out yourself, and anyone who respects that without trying to save you is good friend material

I'm in a shitty, abusive living situation and only three people including my therapist know. I tell all of them that I'm saving up money to move out on my own but in reality I am not at all. Every time my paycheck comes around, I spend it on stupid frivolous shit like clothing or makeup or hair products. Things that make me feel better for a brief moment. I keep it a secret because I know I should be saving my money and leaving is the most important thing but I also struggle with mental health and a lot of days I start to think…what's the point. If it ever gets so bad I could just kill myself and I end up going for whatever will make me the most instantly happy, instead of what will make me happy in the long run. I'm worried I'm too weak. I've never lived on my own before. Even though I know right now is not good, it's all I've known.

I just feel stuck, and embarrassed. All of my money should go into savings but I just waste it to feel brief happiness.

Even now, I'm sitting here trying to talk myself out of buying a $12 hairbrush after spending $50 on cosmetics this week. a HAIRBRUSH. I have like 3 hairbrushes already. You can get them at the dollar store. But I still feel like I /need/ this specific one to be happy. It's all so…stupid. Why am I this stupid.

I had an ex best friend who treated me horribly in high school. She would force me to make costumes for her, transport her to cons, and pay for her hotel rooms (all for free, of course). She constantly guilt tripped me into doing things for her because we were "best friends" but really she was an emotionally abusive peice of shit towards me and her many romantic partners. She would make fun of my size (I had a really bad thyroid problem where no matter what I did I could never lose weight), say that the things I made her for free were shit, make fun of what shows I liked, and constantly told me that I would never get a good job because I wasn't in the same program as her in high school. Also, she once tried to physically hold me down and beat me when I tried to leave her house early to go buy snacks because she wanted me to watch some shitty old anime. She was a terrible person and she made me doubt myself and my therapist thinks she's the reason why I developed and eating disorder and ptsd.

She was (and still is) a social climber in the cosplay community. She's only into "old school anime" and she tries to make that a selling point. Every costume that I made for her, she tried to pass it off as her making it herself, and she became sort of popular because of it. She tries to be besties with every popular cosplayer in my country and she would oftentimes blow me off to hang with her more popular friends (despite them hating her lol). One super popular cosplayer endded up falling for her shit, and they two became best friends. We kind of drifted apart after high school, but she still tried to remain super close because I still agreed to make her things.

Flash forward to one year later. One day I found out that she (my friend) refused to pay a sewist for a costume and claimed that she made the outfit herself. I decided at that point to stop being friends with her because I did not want to be part of that nonsense anymore, so I soft blocked her on every social media. Seconds after I softlocker her, she texted me with a " :( " and demanded to know what was going on. I explained to her that I did not want to deal with her bullshit anymore. The problem with that is that she freaked out and convinced everyone in our com that I'm an asshole (despite never having problems with anyone before) and that I'm transphobic because I accidentally misgendered the sewist that she stole from (I did not know the gender of the person who made her outfit; I'm kinda of an sjw so I feel bad misgendering people and I never try to do that on purpose). I no longer cosplay because I just never want to see her again (my therapist said that it's for the best and that I should not expose myself to her for my safety and sanity).

So flash forward to another year later, I find a thread on anonib where both my ex friend and her famous cosplay bff's nudes and full names are posted. I feel like I'm obligated to tell them that their nudes and full names are online for all to see, but both my ex friend treated me horribly and her bff is also a shit so idk what I do. I kinda want her to suffer because she put me through a living hell but then again getting doxed is awful so I'm not sure what to do. I want to be a good person and do the right thing but I don't want this person back in my life.

i told my abusive ex-boyfriend off for good but i'm sad as fuck because i still miss the early stages of our relationship. even though he fucked me and every mutual friend over, i seriously considered being friends with him. i miss him. i made the right choice but it pains me.

Sometimes I want to go through my old internet posts and screencap all the really heavy shit I've said (mostly in blogposts about myself).

It makes me sound like a narc, but sometimes I like recalling the way I worded or recounted certain things. Really puts things into perspective sometimes too. I regret knowing I'm probably going to forget about them.Shoot, I don't even think I could recall a specific post from a few years ago. The other day I was going through a chan archive for posts made around 2011, and I got the worst deja vu because I could've sworn some of the posts were written by me.

>>192700Man that sounds horrible.I'm sorry about that. Like damn wtf is wrong with her.Do you have some mutual friends ?You could tell them so they can tell them?Or does your ex bestfriend have a tumblr or smth ? If you make a fake acc and tell them on there.By doing that you want have them back.Anyways I sincerely hope you feel better nowadays and gained some good friends.

>>192681Be strong! Look at all the things you have. Do you use them? Unbookmark all the shopping sites you frequent. Delete your browsing history. Put some money in your savings account right now, even a dollar a day will make a difference. You can do it, and then when you move out, you can buy all the stuff you want (after rent of course).

Next time you consider buying something unnecessary, ask yourself if you value independence more than that object. You need to get into the habit of assessing the worth of things. Good luck!

>>192681Don't deprive yourself completely anon.The $50 purchase may have been inappropriate, but I feel bad that you can't order a $12 brush without financial conflict like that. You could always lower the amount you're putting in your savings, and use it to give your frivolities budget a lil boost. At least that way you're not spending too recklessly, but you're not constantly miserable.

To be extremely honest with you anon, having come from an abusive family myself, I'm in my third year of not living with family and my budgeting is the strictest it's ever been. My wage is entry level and there's so many bills that at least when I lived in my family situation I didn't have to worry about as much.Some of my superficial friends have stopped coming to me for clothing or other fashion discussions because I haven't bought anything j-fash related since…September?

I won't sugarcoat this. Or pretend that things will be great the first year. It sucks.But if you train yourself to budget now you'll be happier and won't make mistakes that could land you back with the abuse again once you do move out.

>>192795Start a journal anon! Emotional memory is really weird and I find it super unreliable. I downloaded the contents of a private tumblr i had for just this reason. 19 year old me apparently had a lot more feels than I do

I'm 30 and I'm still a fangirl. I daydream about what are probably ridiculous cliché scenes and ofcourse a lot of hurt-comfort (actually mostly hurt-comfort)Except it's not really fandom but it's the closest I can compare it to. It's just some characters I made up in a fantasy setting and a story I made up, I've been having these characters in my head for more than 10 years. (the characters and the story evolve and change as I get older)

I'm actually thinking about writing some stories and post them somewhere anonymously.

i feel like my depression is getting in the way of me and my fiance's relationship, but he doesn't want to say anything because he just wants me to be happy. i want him to be happy too, it isn't fair for me to deprive him of affection but right now, i just don't want it…

I'm a hoarder. Only in my bedroom. I'm so completely ashamed of it, because now it's gotten so bad my husband won't sleep in there with me. It's not an excuse, but I know it's a depression thing with me. I look at it every day, and I hate myself for it. Yet I can't do anything I just look at it and cry. It's terrible and I'm so damn ashamed of it. The rest of our house is fine - you would not know this about me. I just don't know why it's like this. And it's not something that has to do with our relationship. It actually kills me. It's not just a "get help" thing either. I'm on meds, I've been in therapy, I've tried all sorts of organization shit, even went to a fucking class on organizing. I'm just a fucking mess. Not looking for shit drama, just needed to confess.

I love to fart. I love to go on public transport and let the rip without people hearing them …the looks of disgust and confusion trying to suss out the culprit give me an intense sense of evil pleasure hahaha

I had a bad falling out with a roommate last year. I called her out for causing a ton of drama by sleeping with other girls' boyfriends, dumping them after a few months, and being a shit friend in general. Everything was always about her and I got tired her wounded princess act so I moved out. Lots of people in our circle got on my case for being a bitch to her. Prior to this we were really close and even shared Facebook, tumblr, and Instagram account info. >mfw she never changed any of her passwords>mfw I've been reading all her DM's>mfw she's burning bridges with everyone in our circle>mfw the only people who want to hang out with her are new guys she's fucking>mfw even they're starting to get tired of her shit

I have something called conversion disorder along with major depression with psychotic features. It popped up in freshmen year after our school suffered a spree of student suicides and general tragedy like a car crash. Four kids died in one year it was terrible and stress inducing, for months (as terrible as it sounds) most of the school was essentially waiting to see 'who was next' and bracing ourselves for another round of grief.

But thats another story.

In my case conversion disorder basically means instead of having panic attacks I used to have non-epileptic seizures, or odd twitching episodes or even hitting episodes. Think exorcism horror movie scenes or a particularly mentally disabled person who kinda giggles and fidgets to themselves. talking nonesense and essentially like an oversized toddler.

It was awful, not just for me but my family who witnessed me going from normal person to staring suspiciously and muttering at invisible shadow men with convulsing arms or having to help me when I collapsed on the floor contorting for an hour and then right back to a normal person who happened to be very very sore.

Medicine helped, time helped. Four years later I havent had an episode in eight months. The future is bright and I am happy for it. But now that I have my mind back I can recall the things that I didn't comprehend back then.

The school essentially kept me locked in a side room with only a small window on the door for the final three months of the year. They would peak in at me and whisper like I was an animal even if I was having a good day and didn't need to be hidden away from other students. I didn't do any school work, no one bothered reaching out to me to tell me what assignments I had. I just stared at the wall and the clock waiting to go home.

One day a teacher found me in the bathroom obsessively washing my hands. They brought me to the side room and I remember them getting the principal who called my mother and told her I was a liability. The next time I had an episode they took me to the ER where I mostly sat on the bed staring at the floor.The principle sat next to me and asked what I was looking at. I told him there was a hand coming out of the floor. He didn't ask any more questions.

My extended family didn't treat me the same. Even on excellent days when I was myself, they avoided having the long conversation we'd always had. Politics religion science history… Hours and hours sometimes until dawn. When I tried to happily bring up our usual debate subjects they were brushed aside and they instead treated me as if I were near brain dead if they even spoke to me at all.

But the very worst was when I was actually hospitalized. There was this one nurse who disliked me and thought I was a hoax and tried convincing other nurses I was as well.

I'd had to go to homeschooling by that point, several ER visits, Brain scans, neurologists, shrinks, docs. Two years worth of proof by that point not to mention the series of videos my parents recorded to help doctors decide if I was epileptic or something else entirely. My parents tried to show the nurse in question these videos but she only watched a few seconds before getting annoyed and ushering them away.

She was always annoyed.

I remember having a convulsion/mild psychotic episode there in the hospital. I remember the nurse; chunky, mid twenties, blonde ponytail, shitty 'I want to talk to the manager' makeup, her arms were crossed as she looked down at me. I think I was on my bathrooms floor.

Her brows furrowed and she was scowling looking really annoyed because I had called for help. I vaguely remember her huffing at me and rolling her eyes before she turned and left me there by myself when I knew I needed someone to watch over for my own safety.

She came back later to see that I'd started scratching at imaginary dirt on my arms in her absence and was mildly bleeding. She was still annoyed and the next day had one of the doctors interrogate me and ask if I was doing it for attention.

I was too out of it to be annoyed back. I told them I appreciated the care the hospital offered me and the other kids there but that I really just wanted my hand sanitizer back because there was still 'dirt' on my arms.

I hope that nurse reevaluated her job.

Another girl had hurt themselves much more severely under her watch while I was there. A snapped tooth brush and the shards of an eyeshadow compact mirror that she'd shattered in the absence of the nurse. She looked like she'd been mauled by a tiger. And said girl was met with the same annoyance.

I have a crush on some ugly (but hes ugly cute to me) tumblr guy who will never notice me and seems pretentious as fuck but I check his tumblr every day just to see what he posted. I don't even know why I'm attracted to him because we probably don't have anything in common and he seems like a dick.

I kind of want to hit him up just to see if he's cool or not but my soshul anusziety is holding me back. Sigh… tfw I'll never have an ugly-cute pretentious twink boyfriend.

i'm afraid i'm going to develop an ED. all my life i've been skinny (5'7' and 98lbs) and hated it. recently my life spiraled out of control and for some reason, i keep focusing on my weight and appearance. i'll look in the mirror and think my arms and stomach look so fat, despite losing 3lbs and being at the lowest i've been in awhile. i never ate that much in the first place, but now im consciously what i eat and checking how many calories i've burned off in a day. i'm afraid of getting fat and my clothes no longer fitting (although they don't fit now because they're getting too big). i know i could gain 20lbs and be at a normal weight, and it used to be my dream, but now i'm afraid of even gaining a pound.

>>193281>I don't even know why I'm attracted to him because we probably don't have anything in common and he seems like a dickit's probably because you find him interesting in a weird, fascinating way. i have a tendency to develop crushes like this as well. i say go for it, roll the dice and see if he'll bite. better to try and see where things go than regretfully waste time obsessing and observing from afar.

>>193293you're right. im also intimidated because he seems like he has a very nihilistic view on life and is always posting about politics which is something I don't have any sort of interest in anymore. his political posts consist of buzzwords that i dont even care to look up the definition for so i dont want to come off as a dumbass who doesn't know what he's talking about if the conversation ever got that deep. i feel like a retard

the thing is, ive always been this skinny. my parents were equally as skinny when they were younger so i assumed it was poor genetics. i used to eat really fatty foods all the time and the heaviest i've ever weighed was around 109. i used to actively try to gain weight too because i hated being so thin, but i never could put on the pounds. i'm getting older and i'm afraid my metabolism is starting to slow, and now i don't want to gain the weight i once wanted.

>>193389same you should work out though if you don't already. Being thin and being fit are of course two separate things. I recommend strength training as you can gain weight through muscle and not worry about getting fat from trying to gain weight through just eating.

When someone I don't find attractive tells me they like me, rather than turn them down, I start acting crazy. I tell them I love them right away and start writing them weird sex stories and being super needy and a bunch of other little shit. They soon find excuses to stop seeing me. It's never failed yet and I like to think it leaves their ego a little more intact. I know it's playing with fire though because one day this is going to backfire on me big time.

>>192653I'm in a similar position just it's not sexual at all and more in the sense that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He feels the same so we are roommates and life's perfect like that. I would like to have kids on the other hand, not sure how that will work out.

I'm secretly glad my best friend has no self-control about food and is pretty fat because she's already prettier than me and I can tell she has a really great body shape hiding under the chub and no one would ever look at me twice. I was always the ugly friend growing up and it's nice being at least on-par with my friends.

I'm close to people who are very involved/supportive of trans rights. I definitely am too, but there are some things that really trigger me and if people who knew me knew that I sided with rad fems on certain issues, then I'd probably be burnt at the stake..

depression is also a chemical disorder anon. some people just have it due to genetics and hormonal imbalance. have your bloodwork done and run it by an endocrinologist see if you're lacking anything, sometimes it turns out that the world does not suck, you're just low on magnesium or iron or some shit. if not, using anti-depressants is not shameful. it's just a chronic disease really.

I was sexually abused on and off through ages 8-14 by my stepdad at the time. We were already the town's "poor family" and my mom and stepdad were alcoholics and constantly getting into domestic shit to the point cops were called. Everyone knew our business. I kept quiet because I didn't want another bad thing added to the list of how people perceived me. Even now when I speak with anyone from my past it's like they can't believe I am sober with no kids.

I recently reported the abuse for my own sake and I almost wish I didn't. It has brought up so much anger and anxiety in me. Everything I shoved down is just constantly spilling everywhere. I called out my mom on everything and she refuses to talk to me about it but she still continues to post "inspirational" memes about her being a survivor of an abusive relationship when she herself was extremely emotionally abusive and neglectful. She treated me like she was jealous when I was a kid. When we finally got out of the situation, my stepdad sent me a letter telling me we could go anywhere together and that he loved me. I showed my mom the letter, she destroyed it and never did anything about it.

I wish the people who were supposed to protect me tried harder. I wish I spoke up when I was a kid. And lol I wish he was dead

>>194242I can't offer you any real practical advice here or empathise with your individual situation, I just wanted to comment and say you're seriously awesome for surviving all of that and not allowing it to turn you into your parents.

As for your emotions spilling everywhere, I can empathise with that. I had a difficult childhood due to being mentally ill, a stepdad who constantly humiliated and isolated me from the family, being bullied at school, and loads of other traumashit. That culminated in being gang-raped aged 17 and finally becoming a homeless drug addict. When I finally diagnosed with bipolar aged 20 and put into therapy/given meds… the emotional overspill of facing my past was a huge shock. So I get where you're at.

Basically all I want to say is: feel it. Feel every last bit. Say what you need to say, cry when you need to, go to a field and scream, put pillows in a pile and punch the fuck out of them. Do it all. You'll make it out the other side one day and it'll all be worth it. Strength to you, farmer.

i have a fantasy of becoming a neet in my own little dark studio apt… breaking up with my boyfriend, cutting off ties with everyone but a few friends, and just not giving a fuck anymore. in this fantasy, i still go to work as a normie, though…

i think this is because i realized a little while ago that i probably have npd due to my parents, and sometimes the combination of being mad at everyone + knowing i need to change these thought patterns overwhelms me…

I'm really really into nonsexual ageplay and have been for over a decade. Before tumblr it was so hard to find anything about it, I remember I knew exactly two people over the internet that were also interested and I found them through livejournal. Now it's all over the place, it's almost mainstream. But I think that people who are into it for sexual or fetish reasons are gross and perverted.

I know it's taboo to think that considering I am into it in a nonsexual way and so have no room to judge other people and yet I do. Shitting and diapers and pseudo-pedophilia (dd/lg or lolita/nymphette stuff) disgusts me if it's a woman and infuriates me if its a man. I wonder if there are more people who are the same, but just feel they can't talk about it.

It's already such an embarrassing and strange interest, and I hate that its kind of unsaid you have to just lump everyone together…the people who get off on pretending to fuck kids are somehow equal to the people who like to color and be cuddled/babied. It seems worlds apart to me but I'm sure to society its all just the same weird/gross baby stuff. I don't blame people for thinking that way, I mean if you aren't into it why would you even bother with the nuances. It would all just seem stupid and gross.

I don't know why it appeals to me when it's not even a fetish. I kind of hate myself for it and wish I didn't like it most of the time. I wish I could erase it from my brain.

>>194577>I wonder if there are more people who are the same, but just feel they can't talk about it.You should look into the Chire (short for childhood regression) community on Tumblr. That's how a lot of them feel.

I feel like a huge loser for living with my parents. I'm 22 and in college, but I really just want to drop out and move somewhere far far away. My friends who are the same age arent any better off than me, but I still really feel behind. Also I hate my job and I want to quit, but I dont want to settle for a lower paying job.

>>194587I'm 25 and I can't imagine ever wanting to move out. Being a loser and having less freedom and privacy (for the sex I'm not having anyway, I guess?) is a small price to pay for no bills or chores, basically just no responsibilities outside going to work. I bought property and still have over a year's salary in the bank, the thought of having to spend my money on rent or groceries is so fucking unappealing when right now I spend it on anything I want, still manage to save heaps, and never have to worry about being able to afford things. My parents are fine with it so I'm just gonna have to force myself to leave when I hit 28 or something.

i moved out around 28 as well and i'm in way over my head with chores and responsibilities. i like the independence living alone affords me but i keep thinking about all the money i might have saved and used towards more permanent things like a car or buying a house via mortgage. unfortunately, while my parents were very suffocating and against me living on my own in the beginning, recently i lost my job and half-seriously asedk them if i could move back in and they were like "uhhmmm, how about we just pay your rent instead?" lol.

>>194593I lived by myself for a while and it was the best time of my life, just having the freedom to buy the food I want, live wherever I want, and not have to answer to anyone. I miss it a lot. I value that kind of freedom more than I value material things, but that's just me.

Sometimes when I have a free day and nothing to do I start watching those 24/7 family guy streams on Youtube. Normally I do avoid the comment sections of the stream (they are full of racists, bots, people begging for followers and cunts who are advertising their scamwebsites) but on this special day, I had a really bad day, because I got into a huge argument with my boyfriend. So I got into the comment section and started triggering some bitch who whined about her daddy issues and bragged for instagram followers and some racist fucktard. It was a great feeling to let my anger flow freely at them, and soon I ganged up with some people and bullied them off the stream. That was a great feeling. An hour later, my boyfriend and I sorted things out - our realtionship is now better than ever and so is the relationship to my coworkers and boss, since I am bullying people in livestreams to let my anger out.I know that it is wrong and immature for a 23 year old, but it honestly makes me feel so good.

I'm such an ungrateful bitch. I've been meaning to learn how to ride a bike for forever and found a bike I'm super in love with (cute color/shape, no logos, the right size for me) and I wanted to learn how to ride with it. My dad just randomly picked up my boyfriend and I two random bikes he got for cheap and I just kinda went inside and cried. It's blue and yellow and covered in logos and it doesn't fit me but I'm being expected to ride it anyway. I don't want to touch it. But now I'm an ungrateful bitch because of it. This is such a first world problem but I really wanted to pick out and get my own first bike for myself and have it be something I really liked, not something that my dad chose for me that doesn't even fit me…

>>194656Are you twelve or something? It's a fucking bike, learn how to ride it and save up and buy the one you want when you can if it's so important to you, life isn't a perfect fairytale you spoiled brat. Your dad gave you a bike as a gift, be grateful that you have a kind and caring father.

>>194661That is really cute but it's ok to have an average (even if kinda ugly) practical bike for now too! Practice on the one you have for now and then if you really enjoy it you can save up for a cute one if it still feels worth it. I have a dingy old mountain bike and then one cute bike that I saved up for.

>>194665Agreed>>194656>>194661You sound like a salty ungreateful 12 year old..Are you sure your old enough to use this website if you cant even ride a bike lol. Your dad bought you a gift fucking appreciate it you spoilt brat. That bike you want is ugly af anyway.

>>194656Having a parent force something onto you that you didn't want, even if it was a 'thoughtful' gift, is an annoying pain in the ass. It doesn't make you ungrateful just because you want something more specific.

I think >>194661 is a cute bike, but be cautious about those cruisers because they often don't come with gear switches and so riding up hills and steep inclines becomes a tough task. You can always save up for half and sell the bike your parent got you when you get close to the goal.

I plan to do the same with the washer and dryer my parents got me. I wanted to save up for a nice duo, but they decided to get me really cheap models. The washer doesn't agitate my clothes, and the lint catcher on the dryer basically catches nothing and so my clothes and laundry room are always super linty.I've noticed this go-cheap behavior in many white baby boomers around my parent's age. Buying cheap worked back in their day because they could get something quality for low price, but that's not the case today. It's not that I'm not grateful for them thinking about me (probably why other anons with not-so-nice parents are lashing out at you), but I want to save for something specific and to my liking. Nothing wrong with that.

This doesn't disprove anything I've said.Like I was saying, you're lashing out because you come from a not-so-nice and unfortunate living situation and so you cannot fathom having the opposite problem of parents forcing stuff onto you. I'm sure you'd love it if your mom so much as gave you a $15 bike from the dump. So of course you'd think someone else is acting spoiled for complaining about something they don't want.It's all relative, and I feel bad for you.

I dated a professor when I was in college—I was 22, he was 36. He was nice and respected the fact that I wasn't all that affectionate and didn't try to push me into having sex or anything… but that's why I broke it off with him: because he was the touchy-feely type and that didn't work for me and because I didn't think it was fair to him that I wouldn't be inclined to reciprocate it… that, and he was surprisingly needy.

Anyways, the only reason I bring this up is because one of my friends messaged me and told me that he has a new girl friend now–another student. Same age as I was when I dated him… except he's 39 now, almost 40… and it makes me wonder if he's capable of getting a girlfriend his own age or preys on younger girls.

(it should be worth noting that I didn't have him as a professor, but he was a professor in my field of study… he was also incredibly shy and a lot of students didn't like him that well. However, during/after I dated him, he opened up a lot more and he got along with students better. So I guess I sort of helped him break out of his shell?)

>>194705>If he's capable of getting a girlfriend his own age or preys on younger girls

DING! DING! DING!Sorry you got used, anon. That blows. I bet he plays 'coy, broken professy' just so he can lure in caring students like you. There was a power dynamic situation there and he abused it.

>>194711We didn't do a lot of 'touching'. We kissed maybe twice? No sex, no fondling.

But yeah, it was skeevy. What's bad is that the department head said that our relationship was okay (Yes, we actually went through the proper protocol in the handbook, which involves letting the dept. head know if it could be a conflict of interest).

Bf left his cheap shit chromebook on the floor like he usually does last night. Even though that's asking for fucking trouble.For whatever reason my foot accidentally landed on the corner of it.

Apparently that busted the upper corner of the screen. The laptop is still functional, it just has an ugly corner now.Bf is upset about it and doesn't know how it happened.

I won't be telling him what actually happened because he'll blame me even though it's his own god damn fault for leaving his shit (clothes, pens, trinkets) on the floor all the damn time. Wish I could say lesson learned, but he probably thinks it happened spontaneously and it's a bit too late for me to confess I stepped on the fucker. Whatever.

>>194941He's a guy. I've had numerous conversations about picking up but it never sticks. Most men are just imbeciles when it comes to possessions, though I don't know of too many who keep valuable objects loaded on the floor.

>>194941That condescending feminist attitude is the opposite of adult/mature.

When females tell their side of a story, it's almost always very biased. When they imitate the other person's voice they make them sound "evil" or "nasty". They change the tone or story in a way that best reflects them, they drop lies or exaggerations everywhere.

Other females of course are too stupid to see this, they are swayed by the emotional rant of the other female, and they will almost always agree with them no matter what they actually say.

They don't critically analyze anything, they just respond to the tone of voice like an animal, their brains don't work based on logic.

i wish i could thank my mom one more time and really mean it for being a drugged up asshole when i was younger. she died years go in my early twenties and now that im clean and older and wiser(?) i regret more and more the time i could have spent with her that could have been more meaningful.

i try to be strong about it and act like since it has been years that im over it, but honestly it eats me up so much. she tried so hard with a big family and little money with little things. crafts and hugs and special dinners when we could do it. anything to make her family feel loved. my step father was a physically abusive drunk idiot and no matter what shit he put her or us through, her children were always first.

i feel so weak admitting that i get so choked up but i loved her and miss her so much

>>194951Your mom sounds like a great lady, she'd be so happy to see you clean now

My mom recently died and I often find myself imagining her 'looking down on me from heaven' or talking to me as a ghost or something when I remember stuff she told me. It's pretty silly, and I have a logical atheism-influenced part of me that knows it's probably meaningless, but do it anyway since it brings me comfort.

>>194952i do the same thing though. i like to imagine that she could at least see the better parts of my life. she died pretty soon after my daughter was born and i hold on to the baby blanket she made for her and try to put my thoughts into it like she can get them.

>>194947I haven't been hurt by any woman ever, basically because they can't hurt me.

I wish a female would hit me, their uncoordinated weak bodies can do no harm to me. Your punches are like hitting me with a wet noodle. It would give me an excuse to show them "equality".

Being an incel hurts but that's indirect.

>>194950Men do this when there's an actual reason to, like when they're being arrested. They also do it much better than women.

Females do this in a very specific way, and they do it all the time. They do it for completely stupid reasons, sometimes reasons they imagined. For example, when a female is imitating something her enemy said, she will preform the voice in the most nasty, snippy, exaggerated way possible, even if the person did not sound like that.

>>194079>I would file a restraining order asap would move to the the side of the worldReasonable. And it's not really that sexual, a little like >>194123 said. I do not support incest marriage or reproduction in any way. Just want him for myself, be the only woman in his life I guess.

My brother is emotionally abusive and destructive to pretty much everything. He's even tried to hurt my dog but waits until I'm not home since he knows I'll fight him. I can't even be in the same room as him. He's 30 years old, works 20 hr weeks in retail and comes home to sing at the top of his lungs or smoke pot. My parents are afraid of him and won't let me put an order of protection against him to protect my dog or my mental health. I'm moving out next year thank god but it's not soon enough. I've never hated someone as much as I hate him.

Recently, I've started gardening and my parents joined in. Of course he had to join in too and started planting then gets mad because no one waters his plants. I'm upset because it's like he's invading the one thing I have that's going well with my parents. So I've started killing his plants by the roots it's not obvious. I hate that I have to kill plants, but I can't find any other way to funnel this anger I have towards him. I'm just afraid he'll catch me and attack my dog as retaliation.

that fucker absolutely needs a good beating. beat his ass until he relents. did that with my abusive father a couple times and now he's on his tippy toes around me. if he's larger than you just kick his nuts and then use a plastic pipe or garden hose, it hurts like hell but doesn't leave bruises.

Whenever anyone tells me they are aspiring to be a "stay at home Mom" I feel slightly disappointed if I know them well. It may be because all of the SAHMs I know accomplish literally nothing and whine on Facebook all day about their babies, so I could be jaded. I just wish people could understand you can have a life outside of your children. And that while raising a child is a difficult feat, it doesn't make you above anyone else and certainly doesn't award you with boundless knowledge. Personal rant, no hate.

It's really fucking weird, but I'm always been turned on by people who use my stuff. Like, when I was in school, when a guy (or a even girl, even tho I'm hetero) would borrow my pen or my rubber, I would always watch him discretly and It made me feel really good (It would even give me chills sometimes) . Same things when people draw me or doodle on my hand/arms

>>195090Hah that reminds me when I was busting my ass in college I was too broke to ever go out so I binge watched Desperate Housewives on Netflix. It really made me fantasize about being a STAHM lol. But then I realized how boring and mundane it must be and snapped out of it

>>195152holy shit me too!! When I was ~13, a classmate walked by my desk to hand in his test, realized he didn't put his name on it, took my pencil right out of my hand to write his name on his paper, and then put the pencil back in my hand. it was rude as fuck but I didn't care and even developed a crush on him afterwards lol.

Let me preface this by saying I'm 25. Got a short list here of shit I need to say somewhere.

1. I've never come close to having an orgasm. When I masturbate, it just stops feeling good pretty quickly, and it doesn't really feel great in the first place. On this subject…

2. I've never had sex or even kissed anyone else romantically. I had internet relationships as a teen but never an in person relationship. Part of me doesn't want sex because masturbating is so dull and putting things in my vag kinda hurts, so I just say I'm asexual, but I really wish I was normal.

3. My only fetishes are dudes raping other dudes, related to that. Its really embarrassing and I don't know why it's pretty much JUST that. I usually fantasize about being a guy getting raped. I know rape is a common fetish, but I feel like the added gay sex part of it is something I can never tell anyone.

4. I sometimes wish I was like a twink pretty boy, mostly just a guy though. I'm not trans or anything, but I really hate my boobs and would jump at the chance to have them completely removed. They're way big too, which makes me hate them more. And I'd just prefer male anatomy in general, but I don't hate being female at all.

>>195090Not sure why anyone would actually WANT to be a stay at home mom. You invest all this time and emotion and work into your kid(s), but then you have nothing when they leave. My mom is like that right now. She's never worked a paid job a day in her life, she was invested in me and my brother. We've both left and she's pretty much going crazy because her only "friends" are her other family and she doesn't even see them often. Or even talk to them much. It seems so sad…

>>195183I'm not even that anon but are you trolling? That's a grown woman who sounds like she needs to develop a hobby, skill, or make friends. Not tie her adult children to her hip because she invested too much in them to worry about her own self development. Besides, you don't know what their relationship is like.

1.) I cheated on my current bf with an 'on again, off again' ex 2.) I'm going to take a bunch of laxatives and throw up because I feel fat3.) I don't feel bad about cheating, i just want to go home to my bf and cry

Are you me? Holy fuck, I could have written this a while ago. I am trying to be a decent person now though… I let my bad self esteem, anger and crippling depression make me do stupid shit for way too long, but I didn't really feel too bad back then. I'm still flirting with a couple guys that I was talking with before my relationship got official earlier this month, and I just want to ditch them and focus only on my bf. It's like I need constant attention because I'm needy as fuck. Just figuring out a plan so I can do that without being too rude.

My confession is lame. I always wanted to work in a office in the main city. Inside one of those huge skyscraper buildings. Meanwhile I work in retail and it's hell dealing with these crackheads everyday.

when I was 7 years old, my paternal grandfather molested me. I only told my mother, when I was already an adult, and apparently he also molested my cousin. Thing is, he already died. And while I'm happy he died from a debilitating illness (cancer), it pains me a lot that part of my family still talks about him as if he was a good man, and that I can't go to his house and torture and murder him. I had a fucked up childhood, and he helped into making me the lonely, filthy degenerate with disgusting and violent fetishes I am now.

>>195249It's gratifying to know I'm not the only one whose experienced this I've been in a similar situation with the needing attention but wanting to be faithful I ended up telling my bf that I needed more attention and then tried to make female friends Idk I hope that helpsTldr; befriend females

When I'm online, I feel so much more intelligent because I have time to think about what I want to communicate, and formulate half-decent thoughts. I post quite a few opinions here and publicly on other places, and for the most part they get widespread approval from others (I won't pretend I haven't had a few clunkers tho). Then–snap back to reality–I'm often not very quick witted in real life as I feel online. I'm not as bold because I don't like making waves. My defense mechanism, whenever I feel someone is being snarky or aggressive, is to act overpolite and nice–just because I don't like confrontation or dealing with the consequences of being judged/upsetting someone. Whereas if someone treated me like that on social media I'd chew out their asses no problem.

Another thing that sucks about saying an opinion or arguing in real life, is that once you've said something there's no taking it back. My WORST memory of this is when I was in high school and I was taking a college course at the local state campus. One day I said something SO IRREVERSIBLY ignorant in front of a class discussion when I hadn't meant it to sound that way, that the entire room couldn't stop laughing at me. Even my professor, who normally praised me for having better grades than the college aged kids, had to lower his head in secondhand embarrassment. Just remembering that moment makes me cringe to this day. Augh.

I just want an irl avatar. That way I could be the person I actually am on the inside and not this meek short woman with low self-esteem.

I'm kinda crushing on a guy at my dorm. I'm in a relationship but I can't help but fantasize about him because I've never felt like this for anyone other than my s/o before. I need to get my shit together though because cheating would be the most dumb and irresponsible thing I could do.

I'm a college student. I go to the school of my dreams and I adore it, but the small amount of financial aid the school is giving me makes me so nervous about my financial situation in the future that I find myself googling information about different kinds of sex work. I'm not sure if I could ever really do anything hardcore like escorting or stripping, but god is in enticing to think about that money. I have friends who have moved to LA and have sugar daddies and they look like they're living it up, I can't help but be jealous and think about the what ifs.

had the consultation today, starting the first part of my abortion tomorrow. it's all pills. i thought i could be detached but as i get closer to the appointment i'm becoming more emotional about it. i've always been adamant that it's not a human until a certain time has passed / certain features develop but it's still a living organism and i feel bad for it. i don't think i'll ever regret this decision but it still feels wrong to cause the death of this "thing" inside of me.

i was only "pregnant" for about a week - from the time of finding out to the upcoming abortion - but it's been one of the longest i've felt. i don't think i'll come out of this completely whole. i was taking birth control for over three years and it failed this time…i guess i never thought i'd be getting pregnant at 20. it feels like a chapter in my life is closing and i wish i could just go back to being a stupid college kid like before.

i don't really have close girl friends in my life to talk to about this. my parents would kill me if they found out. even with my boyfriend i just feel alone and like he doesn't understand me completely. i know it has to be done and i hate how sad i'm getting about it.

>>196183You're going to be okay. I went through the same thing you did but I got the surgery because I could go back to work the next day. Honestly I still get sad about it sometimes. I just let it pass. You will be alright and if you decide to have it that's fine to. Your choice. You're really strong whatever decision you make just know that.

Your boyfriend doesn't understand fully and he never will but that's not his fault I guess.

Every day I day dream about non existence, sometimes I go into a catatonic state and just listen to ambient music while staring at the ceiling for hours and those episodes have gotten more frequent.I'm becoming more isolated from my fiance and my mother and escapism/day dreaming is the only thing keeping me going right now, I feel so robotic and despaired when I have to interact with other people it is killing me.

I keep getting angry and jealous about my bf because I feel like he enjoys his time with his friends more than with me. We're in a ldr and his online friend is over right now and i feel like he 's more sad about his friend leaving than he was when i left when i went there. i don't know if im wrong but i want to be wanted and missed too and sorry im being dumb jealous

>>183985You know, I find this happens to me too. I'm relatively easy going, I completely mind my own business and try to effect other people as little as possible. I'm shy and awkward and slightly autistic. For some reason, certain personality types HATE me. It's often young women. I don't know why and it makes me sad because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm averageish looking, I can acquire boyfriends but I don't really like dating. I just want good friends! I'm really sorry, it sucks.

I'm so tired of being a friendless, shut in, shy loser.>Became a shut-in insecure little shit because of very severe bullying>Lost all my """friends""" around 10 years ago>though i would have died before i entered my 20's (i did not) so did not try to reconnect with people>years pass>still a friendless depressed anxious alone shut-in in my 20's and regretting all my life choices up to this point

If you saw me in real life you wouldn't think i am as miserable as i am, or that i have no friends, because i always look like i don't care about being alone and actually like it. I take very good care of my appearance, take my hygiene very seriously and don't act awkward or autistic around people, so i seem completely normal and not the what you consider a "loser". Whenever someone asks me why i am alone i say "i like being alone", because i don't know how to say i don't like it but i am alone and can't do jack shit about it.

I look very confident with it and at peace with the fact that i go by myself most places. But it seriously eats me up inside every single time i remember i basically have no one in life to have fun with or confide and converse with, it is making my life a fucking never ending nightmare.

I don't even remember how to make friends anymore, every single time i try to make acquaintances it doesn't get past a few conversations, then the other person stops completely from talking to me suddenly and i wonder what did i do wrong to fuck up yet another conversation eventhough i was trying to keep the talk going. I used to be very shy and awkward about interacting with people, but now i try to always be welcoming to people and open up a little more, but i don't know if i seem too over-eager to meet people or i over-share too much and it feels awkward, but it never gets past a few exchanges.

Since i am currently studying at-home and do not have a work, i don't know where i would be able to find strangers on a daily basis that starting a conversation with wouldn't be weird. Tried on-line games, but i always seem less passionate about them that the people i meet, so it never goes anywhere.

At this point i am seriously afraid i will die alone with no one who loves me because i seem to be unable to meet people no matter how hard i try to get over this slump.

It's fucking depressing and sad for a woman in her 20's to be this way, so i always keep it secret but it really sucks.

Girls start producing more retarded babies at only 25, yet somehow this degenerate society tells girls even that is too young.

Girls should be having kids around 14-24, white people aren't having kids anymore because white women have been encourage to pretend they're men and go to college and focus on a career. (Third-world cultures haven't been effected by feminism like this)

Guys are failing academically and financially, they aren't going to college or focusing on a career anymore because they have no motivation to since women are ruined. All the "good guys" disappeared because the only motivation for them to exist in the first place was the reward of a proper wife/mother.

99% of women have no purpose being in college, the most valuable thing they could do in society is be a good mother and wife.

I had this female coworker a couple years ago I developed a crush on. We both had boyfriends, and we were both in committed, long term relationships. I felt a little weird about it, since she's literally been the only woman I've ever had a crush on. I didn't let her know about my feelings, because what good would it do? We both had boyfriends, she's straight, and I'm mostly straight, I guess? I just chalked it up to being some dumb little crush. She ended up quitting and worked a string of dead end jobs, only to end up back at my workplace a few months ago. I was elated to have her back. I always look forward to when she is scheduled to work the same shifts as me. Recently her long term boyfriend broke up with her. I'm still in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, but I can't help feeling so fucking jealous every time I see some asshole guy trying to hit on her in her time of weakness/sadness. I just want to protect her from getting hurt again. Every time one of these guys bothers her I fantasize that I stand between them and tell the dude, "She's my girlfriend, go away" or something to that effect. I feel very annoyed with myself that these thoughts have been occupying my mind more often lately.

I'm crushing very hard, bordering on falling in love with a guy that is not only taken for 4 years now, I know his girlfriend, I'm fb friends with her cousin, and my bff who introduced me to the general friend group/circle also used to date this guy a bazillion years ago/introduced him to his current gf.

It's such a clusterfuck of connections and history and here I am pining over a guy who yes, is 11 years older than me, but he's witty, he's smart, he's funny. And I'm not blind to his faults; he's a motormouth, he can derail any conversation like it's no biggie, he is probably too good for me, and yet here I am wasting my time wishing he liked me in secret.

I'm in my late 20s so I'm not a teenager, I should know better. But he's very sweet to me, he's protective, he's kind, and honestly you don't get that a lot. And to top it off, his girlfriend is a good person. She's not the stereotypical toxic bitch that he could sooooo do without, nah they are apparently happy together. She's getting her phd abroad and they are LDRing atm and people make it seem like it's going so swimmingly and amazing and what a totes awesome couple 4 lyfe and marriage and kids and shit. And yeah, everyone always wants to show off their best behaviour, nobody really advertises the bad parts

but like, I keep trying to distance myself. I keep saying to myself don't do it, don't do it, and suddenly there I am, sitting next to him while I stroke his arm absent mindedly (he doesn't object, either), or he strokes my hair as I sit by his legs on the floor, or he pinches my cheeks/says I'm so adorable and cute he could just bite me, he calls me sweet, etc, and I'm just a puddle. Fuck my life.

Even if I get best case scenario aka he goes with me eventually, I'll still be "that person" to a whole community. Cliques are small, people talk, and my name will be mud to everyone.

>>196505I'm really glad demented schizoids like you no longer have the power to control and abuse women with impunity. Men can no longer force women to marry or have sex with them and this makes you mad because there is literally no other way anyone would ever touch your fucking busted ass.

>>196239thank you anon. i went through with the pill and after it passed the next day i felt immediately better. i think the pregnancy was giving me a depressive bout, but overall i'm glad i made the decision i did.

>>196505and the most valuable thing you could do for society do is to kill yourself. also in case anyone saw this retardation: 35 is when the rate of issues in children start spiking. the best biological/social age for women to have children is mid-twenties to early thirties. i'm staying in college and graduating, so is boyfriend :)

>>196505If you're so concerned about retarded babies, you should be concerned about men in their 20s, and against teen pregnancies/age gaps. >* Autism rates were 66 percent higher among children born to dads over 50 years of age than among those born to dads in their 20s. Autism rates were 28 percent higher when dads were in their 40s versus 20s.>* Autism rates were 18 percent higher among children born to teen moms than among those born to moms in their 20s.>* Autism rates also rose with widening gaps between two parents’ ages. These rates were highest when dads were between 35 and 44 years old and their partners were 10 or more years younger.>The higher risk associated with fathers over 50 is consistent with the idea that genetic mutations in sperm increase with a man’s age and that these mutations can contribute to the development of autism.

But you don't actually give a shit about healthy pregnancies, you just want to raise your chances of getting a hotter, younger wife by convincing women to waste their youth on kids they can have later.

>>196652>35 is when the rate of issues in children start spiking.it's not actually "spiking". thats only what big pharma wants you to believe.statistics is hard I know.

Ratios that are used in the US a lot are confusing I know. Let's look at it a little shall we? >Higher Risk of Chromosome Abnormalities>>Chromosome abnormalities, such as Downs Syndrome, are much more prevalently in women who become pregnant after 35. Most studies find that the likelihood of giving birth to a child with a chromosome abnormality after 35 is around 1 in 170. This number dramatically spikes by the time a woman reaches 40, when the chances are around 1 in 60.

the ratio 1 in 170 is the same as 0.59%. That means it's 59 of 1000 women giving birth. Wow! The number doesnt look as big anymore does it? with 25 years old the chance of having a baby with down syndrome is 1 in 1,200. Whats that in percentage? It's 0.08%.

So from 8 women from 1000 women giving birth to 59 women of 1000 women giving birth to a child with down syndrome. That number is increasing, but it's still considerabely low. Want to know what the risk of a stillbirth is? At 35-39 it's 0.5 to 0.6% Wow! That's exactly the same as for having a child with down syndrome! Weird isnt it?

But now the article goes on saying the number lowers voice for a horrifying tonedramatically spikes when you reach 40. But what is 1 in 60 meaning? Again (1 divided through 60, multiplied by 100) it's only 1.67%. That's only a little over twice as much than with 35. It's 167 women in 1000 women giving birth or finally 1-2 Women of 100 Women giving birth. Too me that number sounds still fucking low.

Nothing "dramatically spikes". It's just bogus for more prenatal testing and that sorts.

So I started dating this guy a couple of months ago. I was told by another close friend that he was asexual, but decided to go for it anyway and told him I had feelings for him and he said he'd be interested to try things out.Fast forward to now, a few weeks back he revealed to me that he isn't actually asexual but thinks he might be trans. Enjoys sexual stuff (like some really freaky stuff) but is absolutely disgusted by his penis. We've tried doing some sexual stuff that mostly amounted to me getting off while he made out with me and it was pretty cool. I know we gotta go slow but I am a really sexual person and I can't really think of future steps to take.Because of that, the frustration is getting to me pretty hard. He said we could maybe work towards sex eventually but I am so frustrated. I held back for a while but the fact he doesn't say sexual things about me or put any emphasis on how I look really pushes me. I'm bi so I don't care if he chooses to pursue being trans I just want some fuck.I'm a popular gamer girl and used to be pretty flirty with guys on my server. Most of them I told that I was in a relationship now but a couple still don't know and I still flirt with a little on the down-low. I don't know if I should cut it all off in case I end up horny and doing more than flirting (I used to exchange pictures and call people while getting off) or if it's just harmless flirting to help me feel better about myself. Some of them give me gifts and stuff but I told them I don't have interest in dating them or doing anything more at least. I don't wanna quit the game but I don't now how to stop opening myself up to getting attention.

>>196684>dates guy who is asexual or at least has a very low sex or inexperienced>"im very horny why won't he fuck me"

you're dating a person who has virtually hardly any sex drive which you knew of beforehand and then complain that he won't hurry up and fuck you? break up then if it matters that much to you. this is your own retarded fault.

>>19650525 is the most fertile age, try again. And recommending girls to have kids under 18? You think kids in the middle of puberty with their periods all over the place are fertile? Anything to please your pedo- oops i mean "hebephilistic" worldview.

>>196727Agreed. I knew way too many teenage moms who didn't have hips wide enough to naturally deliver because they just haven't hormonally developed enough at that point. Most I knew got c-sections or had to do the weird vacuum thing. So many teenage preggers would be dead if not for modern interventions.

>>196727Yeah, 14 year old children whose bodies aren't even developed (they were 12 two years ago ffs) are not fully equipped to handle a pregnancy. This bitch wants to justify his pathetic pedophile fantasy.

i fell for this guy, it didn't work out, now i stalk him online daily. it extended to stalking a girl, whose pictures he keeps liking on instagram. i feel like an asshole because i want him to suffer (nothing serious, just… i want him to be a lonely loser) and i keep calling the girl names (irl to myself, i don't comment on her posts). i know they will never be together i just can't figure out how she's better… she's prettier, i guess. i looked at her twitter one time, she barely uses it anymore but her old tweets (2 years or so old) are still there - she sounds like a complete cunt. i find it hard to imagine that she's a better person now. i've never met her in real life, never spoken to her.

it's easier to hate on him (and her) than to admit to myself that i'm also a shitty person and that i need to change myself. i'm a poor excuse of an adult.

i should see a (psychiatrist? psychologist? therapist?) because i can't keep going like this. the whole thing started from me being lonely and depressed. this last year was shit, there was one time when i didn't drink water for two days because i couldn't find the strength to get out of bed and take a shower, so i could go out and buy water (tap wasn't drinkable at the place i lived at). i'm still alive and that's a fucking miracle about which i'm not sure if i'm grateful for. also now i do this thing where i just stop in the middle of the sentence when i'm speaking and then continue. the pause is long enough to be noticeable but to not be too awkward. it's like i blank on my thoughts.

>>196813Oh my god I did the same thing in college. Depression sucks. And it's crazier cuz once you get up and do it you're like, "This is so fucking easy why did it take being dehydrated for a day and a half to get here" and then it starts all over again

Also guys will choose the hotter girl the majority of the time. I think social media and porn wraps their ideals of beauty. And that's fine everyone has a preference. Just gotta wait till you find someone good

This is why it's dangerous for women to be raised with so much importance placed on looks. It's not that this isn't what it's actually about (it probably is), but you don't realize that it doesn't exactly matter and being attractive is an arbitrary standard for guys despite their protest to the contrary. I've seen some guys fuck some ugly women. >i'm a poor excuse of an adult.

This, right here, is what actually matters. Anon, one day we will all be older and uglier. We're going to be adults looking for qualities like responsibility and career because looks generally don't pay bills or provide food. Looks don't guarantee a partner who is tolerable or responsible. If you are a better person, you will attract better people who will see value in you beyond looks. And wouldn't that make you feel better, knowing that looks have an expiry date?

See a psychologist and set up little goals to better yourself. Just because one guy seems to have rejected you doesn't make you unsalvageable. You can do it. You are worthy of help and love.

I've been devising ways of killing squirrels that would probably make me sound evil to most of my friends and strangers who would find out.

Squirrels never used to bother me until they turned out to be destructive dickbags. WORSE than mice or rats, imo. They shit and piss all over my deck furniture, dig up my plants to bury seeds from my bird feeder, and eat my plants to boot. They knock over the cute shit I put out, like candles and ceramics, and break them.I bought jalapeño plants over two months ago and haven't gotten a single motherfuckin' pepper because those little bitches gnaw off any pepper or flower that appears. Like, most times they're not even eating the peppers, just taking a bite and tossing it on the ground like it's fun for them to do. I've tried putting bird netting over the plants, but they do find ways to tear the netting off eventually, or just knock over the whole damn plot.

I've never hated an animal so much, if not because they're conscious of the fact that I am a threat and clearly don't want them on my deck, but they test me anyway.

I'm going out today, finding the biggest rat trap I can buy, and modifying it by adding a bunch of nails sticking up like pic related.I will take so much pleasure from watching these smug bastards finally die. I thought about asking my hick friends for a pellet gun, but being that it's an apartment deck, not a good idea–even though I'd enjoy it.

I "quit" my part time job for the past seven months because my main boss was also quitting (it's awkwardly complicated: the couple I worked for got a divorce, the wife was what held everything together and I didn't want to be around for the shit show that would happen when she left… which, is what happened. Enter revamped ownership, husband gone, wife back in. I show interest in working again and am recruited back). It's typically a weekend gig (a local live music theatre thing) so it doesn't interfere with my fulltime job… but anyways, I worked yesterday and a couple who would frequent the theatre before remembered me and were really happy that I was back at the theatre to help out and, like, they actually missed me and joked about how I can't just leave like that without asking their permission.

I know it's lame confession, but it made me kind of happy that I wasn't only remembered but was also missed? It makes me wonder what sort of people they had working there when I was gone…

>>197567You're disgusting and I hope your trap gets stuck on your lip or tit. You don't deserve a nice garden when you're an animal abusing sack of tumours. Torture traps just make you an edgy faggot who gets off on mitilated rodents.

Been thinking a lot lately about how I was raped when I was 17 and I just completely ignored it and never said anything to anyone. Its been 10 years now and i'm not sure why its been bothering me. Not sure if I should try to find a therapist or continue trying to ignore it. Not one person knows and it would just end up upsetting people if I decided to tell them. Can anyone relate?

>>198146Yeah. I was sexually abused when I was 5, and I honestly felt like it never bothered me up until now, almost 20 years later.Looking back through my childhood though, I can see how it affected me. It also affected the way that my parents treated me, which added to much of the problem.

Don't ignore it if it's bothering you. Talk to someone, it really helps. Cry about it. Don't bottle it up anymore. It doesn't solve anything, and you'll never just forget about it.I've been talking about it with a few people I feel close to for a couple of years, and I feel so much more free.

>>198146I can, I've had problems with sexual abuse when I was very young with a pediatrician and a caregiver. I feel like I forgot the memories throughout the year until I was 14 or 15 ish, then it hit me and I finally realized what happened and what they did was wrongI'm scared to tell anyone about it because the caregiver who did it was drunk when it happened and I believe they forgot, so if I did tell anyone I would come off as some big fat liar faking abuse for attention and the caregiver will find out and think I am just some crazy girl faking abuse for attention

I have a severe crush on another girls boyfriend.She happens to be a snowflake on this website and i have been trying to avoid posting anything relating to her even though i read every message posted in that thread. Because i somehow convinced myself if i do not contribute or shit talk her then it's still ok for me to crush on him from a distance but if i join in on the shit talking i will be utter scum and i don't deserve the kind occasional talks i have with her boyfriend.

But it's so tempting to shit talk her because i hate her for being such a slutty attention whore and giving her boyfriend a bad reputation not to mention the fact he's rather unhappy with the shit she does but he's too sweet to tell her to behave because if he would she'd pull the ''THAT'S SEXIST I CAN DO WHUTEVER I WANT'' card

I'm a female and married to a man, but a lot of times I wish I was with a woman. I don't know what to do. I couldn't share him with another woman, and I couldn't even fathom having an affair. Sometimes I really miss a woman's touch and intimacy.

>>198269I still like him, She's still a whore.The thing is i don't want to steal him from her or anything i just wish she'd try to be a better girlfriend for him because he deserves it.Instead he gets his reputation tarnished because she can't stop on getting off on other men's attention.

The Red Pill/Traditionalist side of Twitter irritates the fuck out of me with their constant circlejerking and smugness. I've found the real identities of a few of them. The men that claim to be "real men" and "alphas" are scrawny little manlets and the women that claim to be beautiful are ugly as shit. I'm thiiiis close to replying to their Tweets with the pictures of them I've found, but how illegal is that? I found them very easily, some had their real Pinterest following their secret Pinterest, some had people they know following their Spotify account so I could find them through their Facebook friends list. I know I'm creepy but these people brag about how they look and are perfect and act so untouchable when I know the truth. I feel satisfaction knowing what they look like and that their lives are not as perfect as they like to make it seem.

I feel like I may be losing feelings for my boyfriend of a year and I'm not sure what to do. He's been away for a week, and I found myself not really missing him a ton, not speaking to him a ton all week, and its just now hitting me that things could be different. I could see him again and all those feelings could go away, so I don't want to act or think about it too much rn, but I'm scared of what this could mean.

I have a boyfriend I live with who loves me, and I love him right back, but it doesn't change the fact that I still want to fuck someone from my past. I still talk to the guy. I just got back from a Walmart parking lot where I dildoed myself with cucumbers while he jacked off. Oh, god. I didn't know where else to confess this or who. I just need to get it off my chest.

>>199044>claim to be "real men" and "alphas" are scrawny little manlets and the women that claim to be beautiful are ugly as shitShe definitely said more than just "disagree with on politics". Someone's insecure!

>>199909This is the type of shit that will get screencapped and posted in a "Best Of Lolcow" image set, or if you ever go full mystery.jpg and all your posts get linked back to you, this will be the one people constantly bring up.

Bitches at my job are getting greedy. We all used to pick up each other's shifts for free, but ever since our company allowed shift trades for incentives they all wanna hustle.I wouldn't mind paying someone $5 extra per hour (assuming they're being paid $15/hr + $5=$20/hr), but they often want minimum $10 extra per hour. If someone is really desperate to give away a shift, hustlers will purposefully wait for that person to raise the offer just so they can profit money. Often times my company will let people leave on unpaid time off if we're overcount. So if greedymcgee picked up that hour for $10, that's $10 they get to pocket for the time the company offered off.Another shady thing hustlers will do is that they will pick up shifts from the incentives group, pocket the incentive money, and then go give up the shifts on the FREE trades group to anyone picking up for no charge. Which is bullshit.

I managed to give up 7pm-10pm the other night for $15 as I advertised, but not before some bitch messaged me wanting to do it for $25. I swear this is gonna get toxic.

>>199940Thanks, anon. It's a weird place in life where I want to feel loved, but sometimes the people that love us don't fully satisfy us. I know the other guy couldn't give two shits about me. God. What am I fucking doing?

I've been using "fabric conditioner" to (not)wash my clothes for a month because I thought it was detergent and I've never even heard of fabric conditioner, only softener. WHY THE FUCK is the description of the product in such miniscule type clearly meant for ants?

>>200018As I said, I thought it was detergent when I bought it. Only just now did I notice my clothes aren't really getting clean, so I thoroughly inspected the container and sure enough, in the tiniest print imaginable it said "fabric conditioner." Quite annoying.

>>200047Ahh mini print description and huge adjectives descriptions. Cause you know, what we all really want to know is that it is neroli and ylang-ylang scented but not what it actually is. Much like adjective foods.

I feel low-key Schadenfreude when I see people on sociale media whine about being spoiled by other people's hype. I think they should stop being sensitive bitches and either refrain from reading about it or just stop being affected by spoilers. Like it's not about the goal but the journey that kind of thing.

That being said, I don't actively try to spoil films/shows/books/whatever but I almost want to do it just to spite these people complaining about being spoiled.

>>201922I feel you, lmao. Especially the dumbasses that subscribe to the group of tv show X when they're still at season 1 and whine and throw a tantrum when people discuss the latest episodes. But in any case, people are allowed to discuss on their profiles. It pops up in your feed? Who cares. It's just a movie/show/book/whatever, at the end of the day. I've read JoJo knowing all the characters who would die and other things that were going to happen and I enjoyed it anyway, so it's not like knowing something is going to ruin it all.

I believe in equal rights for everyone. I don't think that anyone is different from anyone else. I think we are all human and deserve to be treated as such.

America's history is dark and we have, and continue to, treat minorities in a deplorable way. There's a lot of violence in the world today because of the color of another's skin or the languages they speak or their religion, and I don't agree with any of that. The world is a very complex place and there are not a lot of easy answers as to how to fix everything that's going on. But I think we must treat each other with dignity and compassion, and to learn and connect with each other. There's a lot of people who are doing horrible things out there today, and they are from all different races and creeds. But there's also a whole lot of good people on every corner of the earth. And we should all work together to create a better world for everyone.

I sometimes don't agree with a lot of leftist memes I see posted on Facebook. And I'm afraid that makes me racist or a Nazi sympathizer. I recently said that I don't agree with political witch hunts because they can spiral out of control. I was called a Nazi for this and many of my friends tell me they think I am racist now. I don't know what to do. How do I become less racist?

>>202326i don't think anon was saying racism is a political belief, i think they were saying they got called a racist for saying people should be allowed political beliefs, which does happen. lots of super left sjws will shoehorn racism into anything they can because it scares people. for instance, i think that trump is a racist moron, but him being republican has little to do with that. But if i were to say that republicans in general are free to be republicans, those leftist sjw types will jump down my throat because they stereotype everyone.

>>202326I don't believe racism is a political belief, I guess I just spoke out of turn? I don't know. I don't care if someone gets fired from their job if they go to a Nazi rally or they can't keep themselves from being a /pol/ shiller on Facebook. I think their employer has every right to do that and I wouldn't want a Nazi to be working for me.

I guess I just feel like witch hunts can easily become something where people attack others just to avoid being attacked themselves. But I think that whatever my opinions are, I won't be talking about them anymore. I think I will just have to agree and go with the crowd about it and not pipe up with dissenting thoughts, lest I be eaten alive again.

>>202316>I recently said that I don't agree with political witch hunts because they can spiral out of control. I was called a Nazi for this and many of my friends tell me they think I am racist now.No, you're fucking right and anyone who says otherwise is a god damned retard.

People with passing resemblances to some jackass from that march are being harassed. Mob justice is STUPID and incredibly inaccurate. Reminds me of that antifa that got unmasked and his brothers in arms smashed his skull in a while back because they have no idea what a nazi actually looks like.

This might sound petty, but I just found this one ~alternative girl~ ho's Facebook profile from middle school who used to shit on me all the time in class, and she got so fat and really blew up. Like, she has cottage cheese legs now and at one point cut her hair to look like a fakeboi according to her old photos. It looks like she's doing terrible and she's still chasing after band guys from shitty emo bands who will never notice her. And there's another girl who looks just as ugly and trashy who did the same shit to me and is stuck doing nothing in that small town. I am fucking flourishing. The people I went to school with really fucked with me bad to the point I had to drop out and get my GED earlier than the legal dropout age in my state so this is such a good feeling. Total hick retards that deserve to stay miserable.

>>203070Iktf. The rich daddy's girl SJW who used to be my best friend before turning around and talking shit about my anxiety and poor parents went to study sociology in the UK and is now back in our country, living in some down the country bogger town (can't afford rent in the capital), working at a call centre for peanuts, complaining about having no friends on twitter and dealing with severe mental issues. All things she used to take the piss out of me for. Loving Every Laugh.

>>203070>>203074Oh hell, I loooove being petty and relishing in the fact that I'm doing better than people who were mean to me in the past. I mean, I guess it's pretty immature but schadenfreude is one hell of a drug.

Without creeping on social media, I can think of three girls who were super bitchy who are now single moms (at 23-25) and working shitty sports bar jobs and have no life outside their sprogs. I moved abroad to the city of my dreams and have an awesome job, a loving SO, and a cute puppy instead of a baby.>feelsgood.jpg

My bestfriend and I had a rough period maybe two or three years ago because I was tired of her always judging everything that I did. I had a fling with a boy who she didn't like and things got worse because I didn't want to talk about it with her. I knew she was just jealous but she tried to play the victim card of ''I'm being forgotten! You don't care about me anymore!'' when actually I told her EVERYTHING and every freaking time she got petty and pissed about it.

One day, when all this was happening, I knew she got into my Facebook account because she told me she thought I was lying about something lol as if it was completely normal to do that. She apologized and I let it slip but I was so mad I got into her Twitter account.

Not only I knew she was lying to me (and pretty much everyone she knew in RL) about having a relationship with a boy (who she supposedly ''dumped'', but was still dating), I also knew about her secret account. And by secret account I can say the profile where she put SO much shit on me, I was appalled.

She ''exposed'' our conversations twisting my words to make me sound the bad one here (i.e. when I asked her to meet up three or four times, she quoted the screenshot saying something like ''lol you have no time for me now that you have a boyfriend, nope, I don't wanna meet'' and things like that). Not only she was calling my (still) boyfriend a ''fuck buddy'' when in RL she was asking me to introduce him to herself, but she was doing it in front of people - not a lot though - who we both know and it was…Crazy.

I almost discovered the account by accident (I didn't know she had a secret account in first place) and at first I was so, so hurt. I thought we almost fixed everything between us and then I found that. So I kept checking her Twitter and her secret account for more than one year. I felt kind of bad but I thought: fuck it, if she can't tell me all those things to my face I can't be bothered with all her fake lies. For a year, I kept asking questions about some things that I read there in a nonchalant way. If she told me something I've already read, I knew just what to say to make her confess more or less. She NEVER noticed what I was doing, she doesn't know to this day.

It came to a point where I had to leave her account because I was becoming paranoid about everything she said to me in RL and what she was going to write in there, and things have become better between us after all. I just didn't want to be like her anymore. I live better now in my ignorance, maybe sometimes I'm a bit anxious about her telling me one thing and actually thinking another but hey, what can I do?

What hurt me the most is that I thought everything was fine with her. If I asked her if something was wrong (even before I entered in her account), she swore everything was fine. Having to found it like that really fucked up my mind and my trust, because nowadays I'm always afraid that people is still lying to me or in reality they think one thing and tell me another. I have to ask for validation that everything's okay almost three or hour times before I convince myself that nothing's wrong and sometimes I myself make it worse just because of my paranoia.

my boyfriend of 2 years is lying to me about everything and i love him too much to leave him or even cheat on him or anything. i couldn't hurt him like that even though he's lying constantly now. (i have proof too)fuck

>>195177>I sometimes wish I was like a twink pretty boy, mostly just a guy though. I'm not trans or anything, but I really hate my boobs and would jump at the chance to have them completely removed. They're way big too, which makes me hate them more. And I'd just prefer male anatomy in general, but I don't hate being female at all.

Interesting, sounds like autoandrophilia to me. The fact that you're relatively asexual outside of those fantasies matches up, too.

I think I am legit going to try and hook up with a stranger while I'm abroad but it will probably lead to nothing and just make me feel worse.1) I'm pretty ugly 2) I'm only there for a few weeks visiting family 3) I'm still a virgin and not on any BC so I might pussy out because I've been anxious about sex without BC as added protection.

I kinda want to see my bf getting fucked by another man. We're both into pegging which is already awesome but that would just be another level. It will probably never happen and I don't mind, but I'll probably fantasize about it from time to time.

I know this girl who has a sarahah. She's so goddamned whiny and bitches about how the world is so unfair to her upper-middle class, skinny, white ass. I'm extremely tempted to send her nasty remarks through her sarahah and see if it gets to her. More than likely she'll just use it as another excuse of how the world is against her and get more attention from it.

>>204234Before you send anything, ask yourself if it is rational, helpful or true.Being upper middle class, skinny or white aren't things that make her a bad person so if you're targeting that, then you just look like a butthurt stalker that needs to get a life. If you can critique actual things that she has done, then she can improve herself. Or she can just cry about it, whatever.

I can only stand to wear loose-fitting pants, t-shirts or sweatshirts, boxers, and boots (preferably steel toe). Anything that is tight on me makes me want to scratch and itch, except oddly the bra. Anything that doesn't support my lower leg or protect my toes from accidentally slamming my door on them or running into things with them will piss me off quite quickly.

For the longest time, I thought it was completely normal to wear a sweatshirt alone. It was only after I was a senior in highschool that I noticed what others had noticed and nonchalantly investigated.

I also don't like to wear deodorant, but I always do for public courtesy. I shower everyday, so it's not as if I don't like hygiene. I just can't stand the sticky feeling under my armpits.

This would be less of an issue if I wasn't in the middle of a relatively cosmopolitan city.

>>204234Nothing bad could possibly have happened to make her sad because she is middle class, thin, and white. She couldn't possibly have depression because she isn't brown or fat! She can't be grieving because she's middle class! She can't genuinely find experiences in her life upsetting because she has it a little bit easier than meeeee despite having no frame of reference for what it's like to be poor, not white, and never chose to be a fat slob!!

It must be so oppressive for you anon. She doesn't have a nuanced understanding of circumstances she's never experienced, it's an outrage.

>>204281The thing is, I was tested for ASD (Asperger is no longer an official diagnosis) when I was receiving testing for a diagnosis of ADHD, and I did even meet the upper standards of the disorder. The steel-toe boots are a matter of practicality, too.

Either way, looking like a country hick in [metropolis] really doesn't seem like a good flag for socializing in general, yet alone dating. Not that I've ever gotten anywhere close to that…

When I once read years ago of the fear of blushing in public I remember laughing it off. Now I have this problem that is blushing randomly in public, and believe me when I say randomly, and I can't control it or even feel it. So people just look at me and say "Anon why are you blushing?" or "Your face is all red, are you embarrassed?" and never believe me when I say that no, I'm not and it really just came out of nowhere. Now I understand that fear. Let it stop please

I haven't had sex in 10 years and my last boyfriend left a pretty negative opinion on my body, but I want a boyfriend!! But I decided if I haven't gotten a boyfriend by my birthday. I am going to start posting nudes on soc. That my confession