Message Boards

Topic : 10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 136

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Friday, September 29, 2006, 09:45:49 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil has reinforcement today – Robin joins him to answer all your burning questions! They also have special help from several speakers from Women of Faith, a faith-based organization encouraging women of all ages to grow in faith and spiritual maturity. First up are best friends, Barbara and Laurie, who both suffer from agoraphobia. Laurie hates to be in crowded places, and Barbara can’t comfortably leave a five-mile radius of her home. It’s a vicious cycle they’ve been sharing for 16 years. Patsy, a Women of Faith speaker who lost six years of her life to agoraphobia, shares how the women can get over their disorder. Then, Marilyn has been afraid of catching germs since she was in the 6th grade, and even gives her friends latex gloves to wear! What’s behind her fears? And, Jodi wrote to Dr. Phil because she doesn’t trust her husband, Scott’s, ability to fly his homemade helicopter. Scott says his wife needs to be more trusting. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a mom who says she never puts herself first wants Robin’s help. Talk about the show here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

It seems that the media loves to give glory and honor to extremists and I am disappointed that Dr. Phil decided to join in. The show on online relationships seemed to be really focused on Nigeria. There is no denying that some extremist Nigerias are taking advantage of women online, however the same is happening right here in America. Why were there no examples of Americans doing the very same thing?

In addition, the reporter from London that said it is very common for women to be raped and people murdered should make sure he knows what he is talking about! A person living in urban America is more likely to be murdered than anywhere in Nigeria. For the most part, there are normal, decent, Christ loving human beings in Nigeria, and anyone who has taken the time to visit, travel or read about the country would know not to report such absurd information.

Husbands that....

Here's one for you, what do you do with a man you have spent the last 22 years of your life with, gave him your heart and soul to and he turns around and says that your chronic depression is all in your head?

This is a believe I knew that he had when we first found out but over the years i thought he had finally come around to believing that it was real.

Watching I think it was 60 mins. about the electrode surgery that they do now on area 25 of the brain my heart went out to those who tried the surgery. For those that it helped congrats for those of us that fear that kind of dramatic thing i hurt. But, a comment was made and it became clear that my husband still thinks that it is all in my head and doesn't exist.

What to do?

Dear Dr. Phil and Robin,

What is a woman to do when she is a full-time college student, full-time stay at home mom, married for almost 20 years...and no longer "IN LOVE" with her husband?? There is no doubt that I have love for my husband...but I am not "IN LOVE" with him anymore. I feel like the only thing we have in common is our children. We rarely touch, let alone indulge in any type of affectionate behavior. At almost 40...what should I do? I feel so much guilt when I think of myself...but I surely don't want to spend my life lonely, in a house full of people! When is it ok to think about "me"...and make a life decision that will make "me" happy? I would be so grateful for any advice you can give me!

Panic/Anxiety disorder (lack of money)

I am a senior 70+ woman who was so fearful, I became a 'refinance junky' after 'a scam' about tax deferment left me with few funds but a house. (I gained after 34 years as an airline stew. and resell of a home for 3 times what I paid) My fears took over. There was no mortgage broker who couldn't make 'a deal' 11 times!!! I simply didn't realize what I was doing 'no sense of reality' as the psychiatrist said. I have medication now. I was afraid I would die. I find myself in the unreal world of massive debt, and little money for mort. payments. I'm sure no pity from anyone. But I am needy and desparate, and will do anything to survive. I feel because I have made all these mistakes, I don't deserve to be helped. But I never lose hope, and faith in God. Thank you for being there. Audrey

THE UNLOVED MAN

Dr. Phil,

I believe that I am THE man who CANNOT be loved. Am I the only human male on earth who feels this way? Should/could I try to change who/what I am to be one of those guys who receives love reciprocally, of course? If I change, then whoever tries to love me would not be loving "me", but what I've changed into. It's got to be better than this total rejection, loneliness as the most vile disgusting & repulsive being ever to curse humanity with my existence.

Women of Faith

I was blessed to be at the Women of Faith conference that was held this past week-end in Sacramento, CA. Robin, thank you for your openness and candor. I am sooooooooo looking forward to seeing this show on Tuesday. I think Patsy Clairmont is one of the funniest people in this world. I am blessed that God got her out of bed and on stage for us to enjoy.

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Here's one for you, what do you do with a man you have spent the last 22 years of your life with, gave him your heart and soul to and he turns around and says that your chronic depression is all in your head?

This is a believe I knew that he had when we first found out but over the years i thought he had finally come around to believing that it was real.

Watching I think it was 60 mins. about the electrode surgery that they do now on area 25 of the brain my heart went out to those who tried the surgery. For those that it helped congrats for those of us that fear that kind of dramatic thing i hurt. But, a comment was made and it became clear that my husband still thinks that it is all in my head and doesn't exist.

Now what do i do???

Sounds like you husband is a victim of ignorance. The two of you should go to a Dr or some other health professional together and have you evaulated and examined so he can hear from a professionals own mouth that you are legitamately depressed.

Ask him this: Why does he believe that every other organ can have illnesses but not the brain? The brain is an organ, and it can malfunction the same as any other organ in the body.

Help... confused

Hi Dr. Phil I am a mother of 3 children 14, 12 and a 4 year old, i have been seperated from my husband for 3.5 years. my relationship was physically and verbally abusive and controlling. that i would never amount to anything, no one will want me with 3 kids, that i was fat and ugly, that the man i do meet will only want me for one thing and that is SEX. He was a drinker during the weekends every weekend him and i were always argueing and hardley around each other. I always for 14 yrs did the laundry, grocerie shopping, errands, house cleaning alone it was allright for me to do that on my own other than that i was not allowed to have a social life with my friends, but he would be out all of the time go to school, hang with friends, join sports, go see his family, be out drinking in other words have a life. i was completely tired of it so i just lived day by day with my kids going out with them to the zoo, movies , go to birthday parties with them while he would be out somewhere else or home sleeping recuperating from a hangover. Well 6 years ago he joined the military which i didnt approve of because he did not sit to talk to me about it, and the way i found out was he was packing and i heard a seargant knock at our door picking him up to go to Fort Lenardwood, I was so furious that he did not take into consideration our kids feelings and mine. Well while he was in boot camp my children and i went to visit him i did it for the sake of my children not for mine of course. Well during that time i was enjoying my freedom enjoying things that i was unable to do when he was around spend time with my friends , go out every now and then it was nice well i started noticeing that i was so peacfull and calm I lost weight, and was much happier with myself felt more confident i was able to dye my hair, where what i wanted, shop and buy us things we liked etc... etc... Well he had gone over seas 2002 he was there for 1 yr and 1/2. When he was scheduled to return my kids and i went to the welcome home thing and i spoke to him a week prior to that , that i didnt want him to come home, he said fine he was staying at his sisters home, I know this is mean and cruel but that is just the way i felt he put me through so much pain cheating , physically abusive and verbally. Well we have been seperated ever since he wont do nothing for his kids ,pays no child support, wont see them, unless i nagg about it. I had to take up two jobs to provide for my kids. Well two years ago i met someone amazing, sweet, caring and supports me in everything i do he has done more for my kids than their own father. My kids dont know much about him becasue i dont bring him around. this past week my back went out i couldnt walk, i called their father if he can take me to the hospital his remark was i have to work and have other things to do. So i called him if he can do me that favor, he took me to the hospital , stood there with me the whole time, and stayed with me Thurs - Sunday at my place and helped me get around, he cooked , cleaned, did the groceries for me and my laundry and was attentive to my and my kids every need, he was the best with my kids my younger ones liked him but my 14 yrs old was with attitude and everything. He is interested in pursuing something further with me but i'm scared becasue my soon to be ex gives me a hard time that he will take my kids away from me, he recently called the cops on me because i took up a second job and went to work and my two older daughters stayed home alone but grandma lives upstairs and other family my younger son was with his uncle and was spending the night at his home. since my soon to be ex found out about this other person he has been more of a jerk, he dont want this person to come near my kids well he never did until this past week. I dont know what to do i do like this other person but i dont want my kids to be taken from me since i am technically still married to this other jerk and i cant afford a divorce right now. i had to take up anthher job just to pay my bills. this other person offers to help but i just cant take it, i feel i am taking charity although i know he does it from the kindness of his heart, and just wants to make things easier for me. but its hard for me to accept help i have to much pride. i want to do this alone but i am afraid he might get tired of waiting and walk away but yet i am scared of moving foward becasue i dont want to get hurt again. what should i do? if i dont get this divorce (lack of money) is there a chance of him taking my kids from me if i get involved with this other person? I have been seperated for 3 years now and he does nothing for them kids. I dont plan to move in with him or start a life with him, just date and get to know each other and take it from there. i have to make sure all my 3 kids are comfortable with it first, but then again what if they never do then what? they are okay cuz they just met him and they dont know his feelings towards me and mine toward him. please help me i am so confused and stressed out. Oh and let me add I am no longer in love with my kids father. i realized that 4 years ago.

20 Years of Marriage

What is a woman to do when she is a full-time college student, full-time stay at home mom, married for almost 20 years...and no longer "IN LOVE" with her husband?? There is no doubt that I have love for my husband...but I am not "IN LOVE" with him anymore. I feel like the only thing we have in common is our children. We rarely touch, let alone indulge in any type of affectionate behavior. At almost 40...what should I do? I feel so much guilt when I think of myself...but I surely don't want to spend my life lonely, in a house full of people! When is it ok to think about "me"...and make a life decision that will make "me" happy? I would be so grateful for any advice you can give me!

Love the show...never miss it!

Thanks for your time,

cysmitty

I felt similar to you not very long ago. I have 3 children, married almost 20 year and turned 40 this year. And I felt like I wasn't sure if I was "In Love" anymore either. I think after 20 years we start to take advantage of each other and expect too much from each other. We start the name calling etc because we are tired and need sleep......I solved some of my problems with having Friday night as our date night. We go somewhere local for dinner....nothing fancy or expensive. Have a family member babysit and just sit somewhere and talk. Maybe think back about what life used to be like before kids and what made you happy way back and try doing those things again. Believe it or not, it works and it worked for me. But I can tell you from my experience it takes lots of work and not just one date. It gives you something to look forward to each week and then you start having more sex and respecting each other more and more over time. I actually started dressing nicer, caring about my hair makeup etc.....GOOD LUCK!!