Every time she doesn't get another one on one, she frets annoyingly. It's for the dogs! Also, imagine how Danielle feels! She hadn't even gotten any airtime yet!

4. Most Likely To Pull The "Daughter" Card When It Suits Him
Juan Pablo! If he can kiss My-Size Barbie Clare in a bamboo basket on a river in front of Camila, and everyone, and Vietnam, and God, he can kiss Renee at the end of a date like a goddamn grownup.

"It's like falling in love," she says as she hovers 50 feet above the cave floor, shitting herself. No. No it's not.

11. Most Evasive Juan Pablo Moment

When he tells Nikki he's tired from last night, and she asks if it was because he was up all night nervous and excited for Romance Hole. He laughs, awkwardly. Nope, it's because he was, um, up all night with Clare. His penis. Was up. See what I did there?

12. Lowest Standards For A Date

Nikki is shocked and thrilled that Juan Pablo asks about her job. Um, that should be date one.

13. Most Egregious Slut-Shaming

Juan Pablo shows himself as a true douche lord this week for telling Clare that he regretted "what happened when they went swimming" (SEX) and said it wasn't fair to the other girls. "Then why did you do it? You could have said no," asks a tearful Clare. He replies that he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Oh, please. He wanted to have warm ocean sex.