It’s not yellow taffeta. It’s maybe the best dress that Julie Bowen’s ever worn to an award show. And I do like how the flowers are blurring. In fact, the more I look at it, the more I’m appreciating it. Enough to make me forget about how I had to yell at her when Modern Family won for Best Comedy?
Let me show you why. Full Story

The good news is it’s not yellow taffeta. Having said that, it’s a little Snow White. Isn’t it?
Also…
It’s still F-CKING TAFFETA!
If you’re walking down the aisle and you want to wear taffeta, fine, whatever, I won’t stop you and I won’t bitch. Full Story

It turns out I wasn’t specific enough on Friday when I hoped that Julie Bowen would stay away from taffeta. I should have also have included ruffles. Too late.
She took all the ruffles.
She took all the ruffles and forced them to f-ck like rabbits and they multiplied – in pink! – all over this dress. Full Story

Duana’s coming in later with some thoughts on the industry significance of the Emmy Awards. I’m here with the superficial. Like what they wore and why people in television insist on dressing themselves as second class citizens. The Emmys have the advantage of not being placed around any other awards shows; they’re not jammed together with the Golden Globes, the SAGs, the Critics’ Choice, the Grammys, and, of course the Oscars. Full Story

I realize on the one hand that these guys cannot win. If it’s not Julie Bowen’s sternum being investigated for pacemaker scars, it’s Ariel Winter’s delicate child-flesh too much on display, or Sofia Vergara’s …I don’t know… body bows being thrown all over the carpet and tripping people up. Putting aside that those are all women, people love to find fault when you’re the ones on top. Full Story

So you saw most of this play out, right? On the carpet, we saw the dresses. Sofia Vergara’s teal – a colour which I already think is kind of alarmingly muted – is tamped down to almost depressing. But it fits her like no other actress’s dress ever does. And other than the mincing down the stairs (time for E! to look into a dumbwaiter, maybe?), she looked comfortable. Full Story

Written by Duana This is a hard one. Of course it is impossible to miss how thin Julie Bowen is. I didn’t hear her on the carpet this time, and she is not one of the people whose magazine profiles I will read while standing in the drugstore but she apparently has a host of excuses for why that is. Full Story

Come on. Look at her. When you do, don't you smile? Even laugh? She's happiness. She is Joy. All bouncy and sh-t. With a hint of crazy. Sex without the tawdry. So fun. Right? Here's Sofia Vergara on the set of Modern Family with her son Manolo. She talks about him a lot. I like the way she says his name. Full Story