7 Keys Guys Miss By Focusing Too Much On The Size of Their Johnsons

There's many a question on this site about the importance of dick size and whether or not it's something women really want or simply a sort of "gossip point" among females and occasionally a way of really trying to insult or compliment a guy.

Yet, I think these sorts of questions and any ideal time men spend considering this question miss several key points. Despite this, I do think it's a question that can cause a lot of frustration if going unanswered. Basically, the answer is simple. It's is aesthetically pleasing TO LOOK AT but often times NOT AS COMFORTABLE as an average to slightly above averaged size one. It can convey dominance and alphaness and is sexually attractive but, in the practice of sex, is more of a hinderance in terms of the sheer physics though it may help to get the girl wet based upon the above statements. Therefore, there is nothing to worry about unless you have a "micro penis" and, in fact, you should actually embrace being average since again talking purely physical--you are more capable of giving more women great sex since you are not bound by certain women where it will hurt or are so tight that you can't recieve as much pleasure.

Now that's that done, here are some key points that are missed because guys focus on the penis size debate:

1.) Being great at going down on a girl is a skill that is NOT instinctual

The first key that is missed because guys spend too much time blaming their dick size is that amazing oral is not something you will just be able to know unless you were really paying attention in sex ed. Basically, you never need to insert your tongue into her vagina and should always go straight for the clit which is outside of it. Is not only key, it's helpful for guys who think the idea of putting their tongue inside a woman is gross. For another, it's key to be able to suck and lick at the same time and to go in deeper as she gets more wet. Again, you shouldn't blame yourself or try to just learn it through instinct instead focus on getting better at giving oral and the last thing she will be thinking about after sex is wow i wish his dick was bigger

2.) Strength of your erection is key

This is a potentially dangerous key for guys to figure out because a lot of young guys especially the ones who like to party are getting addicted to cialis and cialis clones in order to have sex for hours. Still, it's an important thing to understand that the ability to get hard not just hard enough to have sex but really hard like raging hard is the best thing you can physically experience with your penis to be a great lover. A super big dick that is floppy might feel full but she won't really be able to ride it. also, when she can feel you getting softer its a mood killer like when you feel her getting dry

3.) Angle of insertion is key

This is one that might annoy a lot of guys. We want sex to be fast intense and simple, but the reality is it matters where you aim that thing. Luckily, an experienced woman will probably just aim it for you as she puts it in her, but an inexperienced or shy one might need you to find her spot and continually hit it in the same place.

4.) Foreplay is key

This one really annoyed me personally. Foreplay is key and is hard to fake because its all about the intimacy stage. this is where both people get comfortable with one anotehr and get in the mood for sex. Instead of focusing on your size, focus on making hte foreplay last a long time until she's begging to move to the next stage. If you're task oriented you're going to want to rush this process but don't. Take it slow as a lot of women take a lot of time to warm up

5.) Sometimes slower is better (not to be confused with harder vs. softer)

harder is always better than softer but slow can actually beat fast some of the time. when you start, going slow actually allows you to feel a lot more sensation. and of course, going slow so you don't ejaculate is a great tip though don't do it too much...

6.) Mindset is key

This directly relates to the problem of size insecurity. The biggest problem a guy with a smaller dick has is that he knows its smaller compared to other guys. And, besides this, focusing on it causes you to miss a key point that the best lovers know the woman really wants them and uses that as motivation and momentum to have the time of their lives. they're fearless, they accept that they are all this woman is thinking about and all she craves and they marshal this positivity in a variety of ways.

7.) Controlling when you come

Its funny because the guys who are the most insecure about their size are probably porn addicts who have seen massive ones in porn. This is ironic because the one thing porn does positively is that it teaches you to know when you're about to come and how to hold off so you can experience more pleasure first. This leads to the last missed key--control your orgasm so that you two can finish together. I tend to like to give the girl only two orgasm because my mind will drift off after a while but whenever you decide she's experienced enough pleasure then wait until she seems like she's about to come ask her if she's abotu to come and if she says yes then start going so hard that you yourself will come which will result in you coming togtehr. Again, pretty obvious and yet easy key to miss if all you're doing is feeling like you don't measure up because of your dick size.

As a last note, gentlemen, I promise you PROMISE YOU that you can "outcompete" bigger guys if you become really really great at sex. There is no glass ceiling for average sized guys like some guys and even some girls would like you to believe. Even a size queen can't deny what her body is telling her. So go out there and create some of hte best female orgasms womankind has ever experienced...

Most Helpful Girl

Anonymous

I am a size queen. I have been with one guy that was below average, a few that were average or a bit above but most well above average. I will tell you I love big but it is absolutely not a necessity for him to have a huge dick for me to enjoy sex or cum if I agree with several of the points above.

To the guy that thinks '"coming together" is a farce" if you don't know how to make your girl cum while having sex then you're doing it wrong. You can rub her clit, she can rub her clit or get a clitoral vibrator.Never had an issue cumming from penetration, Some women do but that still doesn't mean she can't cum if your dick is in her.

3,4,5,7 #1 - I think there is some instincts required. #2 - I agree with no one likes a floppy dick lol but I've only had one guy not be rock hard for me anytime I wanted so it's not really something I'm experienced with which is why I can't agree or disagree. #6 - this isn't special to small guys. I've come across a lot of guys that have insecurities and it comes into play.

Im not the guy who said it but I agree with it, cumming together through intercourse is a hell of a lot rarer than I ever thought it would be when I was a virgin. Girls may cum through penetration, yes. It depends entirely on the girl and her psychological state. To make girls cum from intercourse, I have to hold back on my own buildup, so when she does cum, it might take several minutes for me to get to the plateau again. Pretty sure the man you quoted means 'symultaneously'. Which very rarely happens, at least in my - rather considerable - experience with many different women.

@DonRomeo perhaps in your experience that is true and perhaps in his case that's true but it's not true in every case and in my considerable experience it's not horribly difficult if you know how your woman ticks. I'm not talking about a woman cumming from gspot/internal stimulation, I'm talking about playing with her clit. If you know how to please THAT woman it really isn't that difficult to time yourselves to the point it's one pushing the other over at the very least.If we're talking a ONS or a new women then yeah that's damn near impossible.

Most Helpful Guy

Interesting concept - It is basically accepting that there are things in life you cannot change barring some crazy expensive surgery which may or may not work to the mindset that there are things you can control if you wish which may possibly improve your performance - I have a feeling that a size queen would be a turn off for me as I feel that people who feel they have types are only limiting themselves and if they are very vocal about it become somewhat arrogant about it - Yeah getting back to some of the points in the take accept the things you can't change and try to enhance the things you can - My days of seriously chasing have probably passed but you can transfer logic to a wider mindset as well

What Girls Said 10

I commend you on doing this. I think you have a lot right here, but there are a few places where you miss the crucial opportunity to tell men to ask their women what they like. You're advising men to just "go after the clit", but that's not even the whole clit you are talking about plus some women HATE that. (Not all, of course.)

Only 30% of women can orgasm from vaginal intercourse. For a lot of women it's 100% about the oral game - always ask what she likes, we don't all like the same thing.

I agree with you that it's all about asking a woman what she likes. I don't agree with the numbers you are citing though. I think a lot more women can come from vaginal intercourse. I'm one of them. I find it interesting that oral sex is touted as the magic act for so many, when, in private conversations I've had with many women, they all say they actually like a nice dick... Don't believe all the media hype. Oral sex is just extremely popular right now.

I know. Your problems as experts is you all do not study Kama Sutra very well. Not even in India they have that knowledge since it is because of them we get the crap up here while everybody believes it since they think it is knowledge from books. It is the same way christians as protestants think they are experts explainting the bible by themselves and take the whole bible out of context and read what they desire in lust with their ego what they want to read but is for sure not objective and scientiffic correct but absolutely wrong and they bring confusion in the world and among their children and a lot of prejudice. Self life experience is better then explain books wrong who are called holy for it is science and the truth and not understand by the most who are not able to understand it because of their 10 vices that brings dirt in the eyes so they do not see clear and have no great understanding. That is why things take so long in this world and especially when it comes down to sexuality where everybody pretend to be an expert while they are worse the the most inexperts making the most mistakes anybody even can imagine that their IQ is not much higher then the 70 scores but even far beneath that. So good luck in your marriages and DNA procreations and then bring your children to school for slow children who we need more then ever and find teachers willing to do that with a lot of patience for people with not finding a high profession ofcourse as far it goes with the efforts they will be able to make to our important society where a good view is very important since I like nature and gardens with roses.

The two things I agree with: Angle of insertion and strength of erection. The other ones are completely voluntary. I don't understand why so many men nowadays think that performing oral sex on a woman is better than intercourse. I love me a big dick who can move well, hard and fast :)

Lol I didn’t say it was more important! I just say focusing on being better at oral is going to rock girls world more than focusing on your size

I have heard girls say this and my guess is that some women feel less emotional fear/discomfort when a guy goes down then when he’s penetrating and thoughts of “ do I really want to do this?” taie over

All true. I've had guys with big dicks that had no idea what to do with them! And one the best lovers I ever had, was missing half his shit after a traumatic accident, but damnit he could use what he had left! All 4 inches of, I am serious.

I don't know if I'm alone in this, but I really don't care for foreplay, I just want to get down to the fucking, and don't be gentle or slow. Do, TALK TO HER! Don't just assume that all women like the same things. Asking her will show that you care about her comfort and safety, which will get you further next time.

On oral: "it's key to be able to suck and lick at the same time" you can sip a drink through a straw, right? Works basically the same way.

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Anonymous

Goodtake. Porn has a lot to answer for when it comes to guys being crap on bed.

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Anonymous

My guyfriends were so into this that they reported their sizes to me like somehow it was going to change my opinion about how sexy they were.Sorry guys, it doesn't work like that. We care a wholleee lot more about how you work with what you've got, and what kind of person you are asides your "anatomy".

What Guys Said 24

That was an eye opener, you made me realise that i need to focus on oral as well and girls like to get eaten, i have never got any negative response from any girl so far and never worried about its size. I am great in bed but oral can be an added advantage tho. Thanks for the info

nice man yea, most women won't insist you give them oral but just ask females you know and feel comfortable with for confirmation or look at surveys and stats online and you'l see women pretty much universally adore receiving great oral and of course it will make penetrative sex even better

I've never met a "size queen" personally. The effect of a big D for girls is just aesthetical and women are not so much visual. Of course they can be dazzled by ripped abs and a big cock, but mostly of them care more about personality and connection. In bed, they LOVE good foreplay.

It's all about technique, not size. Unfortunately for many men, porn is dumbing down them and they end up liking more a big dick than women do. Lol

If I am bad at sex, I have had fun being bad at it :) and enough encore performances to suggest otherwise So no regrets on my part! .. . But research and polls indicate that MOST women cannot orgasm through intercourse, to clarify, it means Penis in Vagina only ( that's intercourse) Regardless of the Gspot... And yes, you can use your hands, but Cumming through intercourse alone is difficult or impossible by most women as indicated by real research. SO attacking me because I presented facts/data it kinda immature and typical i guess.

I’m not talking about just penetration... most men who are good at sex use their hands to help their partner orgasm, most men don’t becausr they’re just busy pleasuring themselves. You can’t say everyone who disagrees with you is “attacking you”. That’s ridiculous.

@VaIiant I agree, I would never had the relationships I had, if I was selfish and not think of my partner.. My statement was only to point out that its a farce to believe that a man is going to get his woman to orgasm with only intercourse, as that is how i interpreted the ASKER's question.. ( and honestly, the Synchronized O is kind of a fantasy as well, not that is doesn't happen, but it a damn poor way to measure how much somebody loves, desires, and cares for anyone and how good of a lover somebody is.. Just not realistic.

Oh, and you forgot the most important thing that every great fucker knows:

Each woman has her own pace while fucking.Good fuck is all about rhythm..Most women would tell you that you absolutely dont need to go down, if you know how to fuck them properly. Sad truth, but "oral sex" was mainly invented to people who got no clue in how to operate their genitalias.(Of course, not taking from the fun in diving between their knees).Regardless of that, "controling come" or not..A good 30 minutes fuck is better than a "2 hours" fuck.I always said:If she feels she needs more.. After 30 minutes, you're doing something wrong.