In fairness, you could say that about a lot of people. You could. But no one ever forgives Macaulay Culkin for it. He is famous for no longer being famous, after starring in the most commercially successful comedy of all time, Home Alone.

I'm confused. Is he famous or not? On balance, these days, probably more not.

And what do we think about this? Good idea? Bad idea? I'm going with bad idea. Doherty is a long-term drug addict, and there were rumours last year about Culkin's health, although he strongly denied them.

Yes, but just think about the potential for Home Alone-style pratfalls and high-jinks! Do I have to?

You do! Macaulay gets out of bed in the morning to draw the curtains, only to find that they are in fact two of Pete's famously unhygienic blood paintings, which collapse around his head. Yeurgh.

Bent on revenge, Macaulay scatters the room next door with Pete's crack pipes and empty vials of heroin, which shatter beneath Pete's feet when he gets up the following day. I don't think this is funny any more.

If you can't laugh, what can you do? Enter a counselling and treatment programme?

Yes, I thought it would be avant garde. "They bonded over their love of poetry and art," the source says. "Macaulay can't get enough of listening to Pete waxing lyrical about his painting and music. He has always been a fan of extreme characters like Pete. Look at the way he defends his childhood friend Michael Jackson."

What real human being actually talks like that? I don't know, but they always say it to the Sun.