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“I came across your profile and was wondering if you would accept an engagement of witty banter between two intellectuals. Of course this “engagement” may start off as purely platonic but my sensual desires will most likely guide our cohesive unity down more erotic, lascivious, and sexual paths that will include but are not limited to rump pounding, sperm warfare, sexual acts involving food, and an abundance of new unchartered sexual positions where I assert my pure dominance in establishing a realm of absolute sovereignty in your nether regions.”

…Just… Wow. Well, at least he is honest about where the conversation would quickly turn to if one was to respond. In a way – I wish all messages that were going to turn that way would have this disclaimer.