Could You Be An Emotional Vampire? How Do You Know?

We’ve all got a smidgeon of vampire in us, especially when we’re stressed. So, cut yourself a break. It’s admirable to admit, “I think I’m emotionally draining people. What can I do?” Can’t be free without such honesty. Then you can change. These are some common indications that you’re becoming a drainer.

People avoid you or glaze over during a conversation

You’re self-obsessed

You’re often negative

You gossip or bad-mouth people

You’re critical, controlling

You’re in an emotional black hole, but won’t get help--this strains relationships and won’t free you

The solution is always to own up to where you’re emotionally stuck and change the related behavior. For instance, one patient in computer graphics kept hammering his wife with a poor-me attitude about how he always got stuck with boring projects at work. Instead of trying to improve the situation, he just kvetched. She started dreading those conversations, diplomatically mentioned it to him. This motivated my patient to address the issue with his supervisor, which got him more stimulating assignments. Similarly, whenever I slip into vampire mode, I try to examine and alter my behavior or else discuss the particulars with a friend or a therapist so I can change. Don’t hesitate to seek assistance when you’re stumped. Also, review the types of emotional vampires in Emotional Freedom (the Narcissist, The Victim, The Controller, The Criticizer, The Splitter) to make sure you’re not one of them.

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UPCOMING EVENTS!

Saturday, October 21, 2017 – 10 to 4 PM Workshop The Power of Intuition and Empathy to Heal – New York, NY New York Open Center
22 East 30th Street, New York, NY
For details call (212) 219-2527 or go to www.opencenter.org