In the world of combat sports, there’s nothing sadder than a fighter who doesn’t know when to quit — who continues to risk his body and brain for diminishing paychecks, long after the fight business has chewed him up and spat him out. So in way, the recent news of Christian Morecraft’s retirement should be considered a happy ending, because at least he won’t end up a penniless vegetable. It’s the little victories, folks.

After kicking off his career with six consecutive first-round victories competing in Massachusetts for Reality Fighting and CFX, Christian Morecraft entered the UFC in 2010, where the 26-year-old heavyweight prospect went 1-3, including a submission victory over Sean McCorkle, and knockout losses against Stefan Struve, Matt Mitrione, and Pat Barry. Morecraft’s slugfest against Barry picked up Fight of the Night honors at UFC on FX 1, but he never returned to the Octagon. In fact the last bit of news we heard about him was when he picked up a drunk driving charge in September.

UFC Hall of Famer, Ken Shamrock will be returning to MMA on July 27 to take on British MMA star Ian ‘The Machine’ Freeman under the Ultimate Cage Fighting Championship banner at the Keepmoat Stadium in Doncaster, England.

Shamrock,a UFC Superfight Champion, made his desire to fight Freeman public when he commentated on BAMMA 12. His wish has been granted after some heavy negotiation. Shamrock has been in fights with some of all time greats including Royce Gracie and Kazushi Sakuraba but it looks like even at the grand age of 49, ‘The World’s most Dangerous Man’ is not ready to call it quits. He has not fought since November 2010. His last fight in the UK saw him lose by TKO to Robert ‘Buzz’ Berry in 2008.

Rampage is giving back to the community and hosting a free self defense seminar for women on March 28th.

Who wants to bet that Page’s first bit of sage-like defense advice will be to purchase a pair of his patented anti-rape shoes? After staring at a pair for over an hour at my local Foot Locker the other day, I’ve determined that the only possibly explanation for the millipede-like protrusions on the underside of those things is that they act like some sort of Inspector Gadget spring device when someone is cornered. Or being raped.

Last night’s installment of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen featured the season’s first two quarterfinal matchups along with some celebrity guest-appearances. Check out the complete video above, or read our recap below if you don’t have the patience for that sort of thing…

- After making into the quarterfinals with his wild card win over Kevin Casey, Bubba McDaniel admits that he doesn’t want to face Uriah Hall because he’s still haunted by Hall’s incredible knockout of Adam Cella. He’ll have to get comfortable with the matchup real quick, since they’re facing each other in the next episode. Coach Jones does his best to build up McDaniel’s confidence, but Bubba looks like a man facing the firing squad. I’ll go out on a limb and say that this little storyline ends with a nervous breakdown and a trip to the hospital.

- The first quarterfinal match will be Kelvin Gastelum (Team Sonnen) vs. Collin Hart (Team Jones). Jones thinks Hart’s jiu-jitsu is “extraordinary,” which will be their key to victory. Though Gastelum has a reputation as a wrestler, Sonnen sees him more as a brawler. But in a good way.

- Coach Sonnen makes good on his promise to give Kelvin seven minutes alone in a closet with Ronda Rousey. Nah. Actually, the UFC women’s bantamweight champ drops by to shake Kelvin’s hand and teach the boys some judo. “It was pretty awesome, you know, getting handled by her [nervous laughter],” Kelvin says. Ronda also drops some nuggets from her own fighting philosophy: “Fighting is about respect, and having respect for your opponent, but at the same time you have to have no respect for your opponent, ’cause you’re the one that’s supposed to walk out of there. They don’t have the right to beat you.”

Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.

But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:

“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.

(It was later revealed that Mazzagatti had been planning to kill Fitch for years and was simply waiting for the right moment to pounce. Photo via Tracy Lee at Yahoo Sports.)

It’s been a pretty slow couple of days in the MMA world, Potato Nation. How should you know this? Because the news that’s being dropped off on our (imaginary) desks by our (imaginary) bosses is some bullshit about a fitting issue at WSoF 2 that resulted in Andrei Arlovski wearing those UFC gloves….

*SPOILER ALERT* Georges St. Pierre is guaranteed to lose his next big fight. He will finally meet an opponent that he can not out-wrestle for 25 minutes and his next foe will be able to trade punches with him at will. GSP will positively get his ass handed to him. Sorry Johny Hendricks, you can stop reading now because this post has nothing to do with you.

“Batroc has no superhuman abilities, but is in peak physical condition in every respect. He is an Olympic-level weightlifter and has extraordinary agility and reflexes. His leg muscles are particularly well developed enabling him to leap great distances equal to an Olympic athlete. He is an expert hand-to-hand combatant and specializes in savate (French-style kickboxing). He is also a skilled military tactician, having formerly been in the French Foreign Legion.

Batroc is also an experienced thief and smuggler, and can speak both French and English. Although, as a mercenary, he does not hesitate to perform any number of criminal acts for his clients, Batroc has, by his own rights, a strong sense of honor, and he will turn against any client whom he feels has unfairly deceived him into committing crimes to which he might not otherwise have agreed.”

If this .gif from last weekend’s WOCS 24 bout between Magno Alexandre and Gustavo Franca proved anything, it’s that you don’t need to possess a freakish, 6’4″ lightweight frame like Corey Hill to have your leg snapped like a toothpick in an MMA fight. During the first round of a main card featherweight contest, Franca — like Hill before him — threw a low leg kick that was effortlessly checked by Alexandre. Which would have be fine…had Franca not taken a sworn oath against calcium in the 5th grade.

Franca’s leg proceeded to disintegrate beneath him, and I proceeded to regurgitate the contents of my breakfast all over myself. Thankfully, I usually start the day with a fifth of Elijah Craig (aged 18 years) and some York Peppermint Patties, the combination of which tastes just as good going down the second time in puree form.

(Sorry Melvin, you know the rules — every time you screw up, we post this picture of you. / Photo via CombatLifestyle)

As we mentioned yesterday, Melvin Guillard‘s announcement that he was leaving the Blackzilians for his old home at Jackson’s MMA was quickly shut down by the Albuquerque-based team, who apparently doesn’t want him back. According to MMAJunkie, it wasn’t only due to Guillard’s lack of loyalty in changing camps — a pair of 2010 assault charges could have also been a factor. Here’s the story:

Two months before UFC lightweight Melvin Guillard announced via Twitter that he was returning to Team Jackson-Winkeljohn in Albuquerque, N.M., the gym’s leaders voted to keep him from doing so. Guillard had inquired about a potential reunion through former teammates, who then passed word to the gym’s administration. The vote was unanimous.

“The Young Assassin” had angered the team in interviews he gave about a move this past year to Florida’s “Blackzilians” team, a source close to the MMA team told MMAjunkie.com. Adding to concerns, Guillard has two outstanding assault charges against him from separate incidents in Albuquerque in 2010…

According to Bernalillo County (N.M.) court records, Guillard currently faces five charges: two misdemeanor counts of aggravated battery, to which he pled not guilty. Three misdemeanor counts of failure to appear in court were settled. A jury trial on the assault charges is set for April 10, where he faces six months in jail for each count, in addition to fines and probation.

(…and from the looks of him, he might have food-poisoning as well. Photo via FightDay/UFC)

From Vitor Belfort to Paul Taylor to Sean Sherk to James Irvin, we’ve seen our share of injury-cursed UFC fighters over the years — and now it’s time to add one more name to this dubious list. It was announced yesterday that Manny Gamburyan has suffered an undisclosed training injury and will not be able to face Hacran Dias at UFC on FX 8 (May 18th; Jaraguá do Sul, Brazil). This marks the fourth fight that Gamburyan has had to pull out of since returning to the UFC in 2011. A quick recap…