The idea of embracing and admitting to the “fact” that you have pre conceived privileges. And yet it only seems to apply to three things. Being male, being white, and most of all… Being straight (Sometimes all at once). And yet this is all coming from a “pre concieved” notion about said straight white male’s life. As if you have ESP.

This my lil douchers and douchettes, is the most retarded phrase ever spat out by privileged retarded sheltered feminsts, and radical members of the LGBT community. It’s their fancy and immature way of saying “STFU because I’ll always have a higher opinion than yours”. If you have the privileges of spewing this word whenever the hell you feel like it then either…

1) STFU and check your own privileges. Or…

2) Stop going around claiming to fight for some noble cause whenever you spew that word and just admit you like being a douche to anything that’s straight, white, or male.

Join my fucking club. It’s a lot more enlightening than going around thinking that women are goddesses no matter what and men are all pigs in one way or another. Being a douche isn’t being a pig. It’s called freedom. The freedom to be how you wanna be.

If it wasn’t for all these privileged assholes in the world who kept telling me that I’m privileged despite having only one job in my life so far and being the shitty brunt of everyones jokes in HS, I might have turned out differently. So remember kids. Bad people with privileges only come about because YOU didn’t check YOUR privilege.

Lesson number 1: If you’re a bitch and you purposely talk on the phone 24/7 to fuck up your neighbors downloads, then please do us a favor and kill yourself. Or better yet, live in the woods. Society doesn’t need or want your kind.

Lesson number 2: Don’t buy the fucking Iphones. Don’t even buy an Android. Go the old fashioned way and use an old satellite phone. Tell society to fuck off like a douche and say “I’m old school. WHO GIVES A SHIT!?”

Lesson number 3: Pokemon is the ultimate creepypasta source on the internet.

Now fuck off and make these sounds. You know what I mean. The worlds natural anti-depressant for lonely men. I don’t know what it would sound like for the other “side”.

If you’re into religion then be tolerate of other people’s beliefs. Stop being a douche. Leave that to the pros and stop trying to use a douches weapon against them. That reverse pshycology BS don’t work IRL or real time.

If you’re an Atheist, then stop being a lil bitch and thinking you can’t be wrong. Yes. I’m speaking to you TJ. Stop being a hypocrite. Just admit you like being a douche. Join my fucking club motherfucker!!! You’ll be pretty damn fucking free after that. You need to stop being a hypocritical lil bitch and just be a lil bitch to be a lil bitch.

Now. For the most monumental and relevant yet irrelevant thing ever. Watch it. Then fuck off for the night. And remember. The way of the douche will set you free.

Why? Because we can. We bitch because we secretly find it fun. Just don’t make some dumb ass excuse like you’ve got blue balls or a period. I had a broken leg once and I was the most pleasant person to be around in the state of Texas. At least until I healed. Then I bitched like a bitch. Cause I’m a bitch.

Now on a more serious note and more sincere note, we all control ourselves. We control our bodies. Not the opposite. It’s our decisions to succumb to issues and be rude and mean and foul to others. On the net it’s fine to a degree. But actually make an effort to to be polite and pleasant IRL.

Now shut up and play with yourself. It’s the world natural anti-depressant for lonely men. Just don’t do it 42 times in a row like those dumbass new generation Brazilian kids.