Il Mulino’s – Authentic Italian (?), Fake English

Perhaps we cannot blame the Italians for this one. At least not entirely.

Much more probable is that the Apostrophe Virus has spread its contagion all the way to Bath, England: Apostrophes have been removed entirely from the contractions “Its here” and “Its arrived” and from the possessive “Baths” and flung instead into the name of the restaurant, “Il Mulino’s,” where no apostrophe need ever have ventured.

Who knows what they were thinking. Perhaps they were concentrating so heavily on the “anti pasti” menu (I usually come down on the pro pasti side, but let’s not quibble about politics at a time like this) or on “making up” the pretend-soup of the day that they couldn’t write correctly …

… in English or Italian:

(Note: the words “italianna,” “Tuscana,” and “sallsiccia” do not exist in Italian, English, or Inglisc; a “panchetta” is a footstool.)

There’s a saying in Italian: You talk like you eat. In other words, you eat like a slob and you talk like one, too. At “Il Mulino’s,” one devoutly hopes they cook better than they write.

For those who want to continue to play the game, “Il Mulino’s” full menu is here in .pdf format; as one reader has already commented, “OMG. It’s just ALL wrong!”