Sometimes you have to focus on the little things in your diet

Lisa met her goal of losing 100 pounds by her 40th birthday, but the struggle continues. Click through to read about losing the first 100 pounds or click on the links below to read about the new challenges.More \232a

Lisa met her goal of losing 100 pounds by her 40th birthday, but the struggle continues. Click through to read about losing the first 100 pounds or click on the links below to read about the new challenges.More \232a

I tried writing in this space about a month ago and got three paragraphs into it before I gave up. I just feel like I'm saying the same things over and over and not making any real changes that stick. But all I can do is try again and keep trying until I get out of this rut.More \232a

10/20/10

I've reset my "Get Back on Track!" month to start today. In wanting to synch up with a calendar month, I probably didn't think things through as well as I should have in planning to be very strict with my diet when I had a bunch of special occasions coming up.More \232a

Claiming dependents on your taxes is usually a fairly straightforward procedure, but in some cases, more than one person (or couple filing jointly) will claim someone as a dependent, muddying the process

Claiming dependents on your taxes is usually a fairly straightforward procedure, but in some cases, more than one person (or couple filing jointly) will claim someone as a dependent, muddying the process

Anticipating a little step backwards this week, I spent a lot of time last night trying to think of ways I could justify not reporting the actual number of pounds I gained. I thought maybe I could spin it as a "reboot" as I got myself together and planned on a better week to come (yes, I saw Star Trek this weekend!). But in the end, I decided that accountability has been a big thing for me in this process and "owning up" to my week would be the best way to put it behind me.

This is a treacherous time in my weight loss. I know how to eat right and how much to exercise - so I believe that any setbacks are rooted in, on some level, choosing not to eat right or exercise appropriately. Figuring out why I might be sabotaging myself is the first step to making it stop.

I've got a couple of theories:

I'm closer now to my initial goal of losing 100 pounds by my birthday than I've ever been to a major goal. Without realizing it, I think I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself about reaching that goal and I've been freaking out about it a little. I keep telling myself that even if I don't lose 100 pounds by my birthday, it's okay and I've accomplished a lot - but I'm not sure I'm at a place yet where I really believe it. I'll keep repeating it until I do.

After focusing on losing weight for so long (not just for the past 14 months, but really since I was about 12 years old), there's definitely some anxiety over identity and what comes next. I've been thinking and talking about losing weight for so long that even though it's the thing I want most in the world right now, it's also hard to imagine my life without that as a goal. I know maintenance will be its own challenge, but it won't be quite the same. Right now, at least I'm that woman who's working towards losing 100 pounds; who will I be after I get there?

Usually I'm all about the big picture and lifestyle changes and putting things in perspective. But right now that is sort of overwhelming me and I think I need to actually just focus on some very simple things that will make me feel in control again. I'm hoping that by setting small quantifiable goals, I'll be able to look at this week as a separate little project that's manageable and remind myself that I can do this. I think it will also help me to separate my eating and exercising habits from my feelings and anxiety so I can get through this challenging time.

So here's my list of five goals for this week:

Put the scale away until next Wednesday morning.

Exercise at least 6 times.

Get the Weight Watchers healthy guidelines for milk, healthy oil and fruits/vegetables in every day.

Plan each day's food in my tracker in the morning and stick to my plan (taking into account eating in a restaurant or having a treat as appropriate and as fits)

Plan one piece of pizza and one cheeseburger with fries into my week - foods that I've been craving so much that it's been driving me crazy!

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