True Blood Review: Doing It Vampire Style!

And we learned a disturbing new sexual position, one none of us should try at home.

Indeed, between the closing scene of "It Hurts Me Too" and the opening shot of Eric feasting on a werewolf, this episode was heavy on the gore. Even for True Blood. It was also heavy on storylines, throwing more at fans than just the most intense version of hate f-cking we'll ever see.

Among the developments that moved ahead:

Bill learned a lesson. It was the same lesson Lorena had tried to teach him centuries ago, as we saw via flashback that she forced him to glamour his wife and leave her. As cruel and selfish as Lorena appears to be, she's not incorrect. Could a vampire ever truly love a human without bringing her danger and harm? It doesn't seem that way.

But the overriding question every time Lorena is around centers around her end game. She clearly wants Bill for herself and appears to have made a deal with the King of Mississippi just so he can have Sookie killed. This is an act Lorena could take care of on her own if she truly desired it - unless she realizes that such a move would turn Bill away from her forever.

Seriously, she stills thinks these two have a chance! And we thought Maryann was crazy.

Alcide came to the rescue. We'll get to know this werewolf a lot better as the season progresses, but his debut was underwhelming. Most characters on the show possess unique personalities, a trait shared by such newbies as Franklin, the King and Talbot. But Alcide didn't seem especially snarky or funny... which is perfectly fine.

His presence after one episode just doesn't stand out for any reason. Expect that to change once his crazy ex, Debbie Pelt, enters the picture.

Talbot remained hilarious. Offering Cooter a Zima? One of the best lines ever on the show. (Why do I get the feeling Talbot will eventually be killed by the King, though? Enjoy this eccentric vampire and his unique taste while you can, readers.)

Tara got hypnotized... again. Bill's outlandish sex scene to close the hour overshadowed the fact that Tara had her bedroom world blown, too. That was some intense stuff between the sheets with Franklin, a character I'm greatly intrigued by. But I could have done without Tara once again having her mind controlled by some manipulator with an agenda. That's two seasons in a row.

I'd tell Lafayette to do a better job keeping an eye on his cousin, but the guy has a sweet new ride to distract him now. He just has to pay the insurance on it. Come on, Eric is not an idiot.

Sam continued to bore me. Whether it's the tired storyline of an adopted individual tracking down his birth parents, or just the fact that shifters aren't as interesting as vampire and werewolves, the action slows down considerably every time Sam is on screen. It also may be my lack of a desire to see a grown man in his tighty whities.

Whatever the cause, here's to hoping the intrigue picks up more between Sam and his brother. We get it: the Mickens are a bunch of poor drunks. Now what?!?

Other notes/observations from the episode before we ask readers for their take on it:

Too bad we didn't see Jason's mystery girl again.

Are they gonna tell us the blood/alcohol limit in Louisiana or what?!?

Jessica's frustration over her ignorance as a vampire is always a source of humor. As is the fact that she relies on Pam as a mother figure.

Caretaker Mike is the father of Arlene's baby, right? They seemed to enjoy themselves at Maryann's last season.

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the end scene was certainly not, uh, happy, was it. i still think Eric's entire ensemble is better than anything alone tbh....

Susan Deters•March 08, 2011 00:40

Renee is Arlene's baby daddy. It was kind of obvious since he keeps showing up in her dreams. Who's with me in wanting to see Sookie and Eric get down to business like in the books? I was more than a little disappointed by the fact that Alcide had such a small role considering he is such a huge part of the books. Plus he is HOT HOT HOT!!!

Deb•August 12, 2010 16:34

You've got to be kidding. The last scene was oh soooooo hot and the best episode of the season. I will miss Talbot though and hope they somehow bring back Franklin.

Jenny•June 29, 2010 04:13

I didn't care for it. I thought it was a pretty dull episode.

An•June 29, 2010 00:18

Yeah, the end scene was totally disturbing but it gave you a glimpse of Bill's inner turmoil...and it wasn't pretty.

Simi•June 28, 2010 16:01

I am so happy that they are going to have Bill become a douche bag!!!

LuAnn•June 28, 2010 14:41

I'm sure it'll turn out to be Mike's baby. Remember, under the influence of Maryann, Mike and Arlene were having relations long before they consciously decided to have relations. That was something of a joke last season. But because she doesn't remember any of that, Arlene's so concerned. And now Bill has been unfaithful, paving the moral ground for Sookie to do the same. Good - let's get on with that!

rachel•June 28, 2010 13:52

I don't think Mike his her baby daddy, it might be Renee! & yes, i could have done with out the end scene!

S•June 28, 2010 13:35

The last scene was one of the most disturbing things I've seen in my entire life.