For those of you in your 20s, I thought I'd show you something interesting today: Consuming Kids, a documentary about instilling brand loyalty in children as young as six months. This sort of thing was finally deregulated right about the time you were born.

I have a daughter in her early 20s now, and it was such a pain in the ass to raise her because of all this nonsense. I do believe that my eternal hatred of Disney (especially those goddamned princesses) is finally justified now.