(daughter) “Daddy, I would like to get married.”
(dad) “Good.”
(daughter) “But I don’t know who to marry. I don’t trust my own judgment.”
(dad) “You shouldn’t.”
(daughter) “So how do I know if he’s the right one?”
(dad) “I’ll tell you.”
(daughter) “But what if I don’t love him?”
(dad) “That will grow, it will come and go.”
(daughter) “But what if I’m not always happy?”
(dad) “That is not marriage. You want to be married right?”
(daughter) “Yes.”
(dad) “Okay, do you only want to be married if you are always happy in it?”
(daughter) “Well, isn’t that the way its supposed to be?”
(dad) “No.”
(daughter) “So what do I do?”
(dad) “I will pick the boy. You will fall in love with him. You will do absolutely everything he tells you to do. You will give me 12 grand children.”
(daughter) “That’s a lot. What if he can’t afford to support them all?”
(dad) “I will buy you two a house near us, keep it in my name, you two will live in it free of charge, and your mom and I will help with the grandkids.”
(daughter) “What if I don’t agree with everything he says?”
(dad) “Doesn’t matter. Do whatever he tells you to do.”
(daughter) “Sounds like slavery?”
(dad) “No. he has headship. You are his property and he will take care of you, he had pride of ownership.”
(daughter) “Okay. So get him for me.”
(dad) “I will.”

—– (two weeks later) —
(dad speaking to another dad) “So what did your son think of the picture of my daughter?”
(other dad) “He said she was beautiful. He loved her long hair.”
(dad) “Good. I picked out a starter house around the corner. How’s his job going?”
(other dad) “Its a hassle. His boss is being deliberately difficult so I told him to send out the resumes and not to quit until he found something else.”
(dad) “Understandable. You’ll be in church Sunday?”
(other dad) “Of course.”
(dad) “See you then.”
—- (two weeks later) —-
(daughter’s dad to young man) “So you think she’s pretty?”
(young man) “Yes sir.”
(dad) “Do you think you could ever love her?”
(young man) “Yes sir.”
(dad) “And if you two get married, you are okay with living around the block from us?”
(young man) “Yes sir.”
(dad) “And if you two get married, you are going to try and get her pregnant on your wedding night?”
(young man) “Yes sir.”
(dad) “And if you two get married, you are going to consummate this marriage every single night of the week?”
(young man) “Yes sir.”

(dad) “And do you know what happens if you ever hit her?”
(young man) “Yes sir.”
(dad) “Okay you may court her.”