Collin: Thank you for having me.Me: You make it sound like we ate you for dinner.

Beware of the Queer as Folk/Evil Dead crossover here

Okay, so I should so not write when I'm drunk, which I am right now.

Okay, not drunk, but buzzed. I have some bureaucratic issue to deal with at the shop, which means I might have to hire a lawyer...again.

I drank a few beers and am now in a nice little state of buzziness...or whatever...you know...you've been there.

I wrote this:

Title: A night in/at BabylonPairing: one of them is Emmett and Ash (from the Evil Dead movies) and Justin and Brian are there too.Summary: Fucked if I know.Warnings: Ash does have this chainsaw hand you know.

Disclaimer: I was drunk while writing this and can't be held liable for any of it. Talk to my lawyer, which I'll have pretty soon.

"Hey baby!"

Emmett looked back quickly at the man who had shamelessly groped his ass.

Correction.

His shapely, luscious, perfectly formed, just right for grabbing, perky ass...

"Emmett!" Teddy shouted. "Would you stop thinking about all the adjectives someone could use to describe your ass! That strange man just groped you and called you baby!"

"That's odd," Emmett pouted. "I didn't think we were in a bad fic. What did you just call me?" Emmett asked as he turned to address the man. "Ash!" Emmett squealed.

"Give us some sugar!" Ash growled as he grabbed Emmett, bent him over and ravished his mouth.

"Oh it's okay Teddy, Ash can call me baby. He's just being canon," Emmett said with a wave of his hand, while righting himself once Ash let him up for air.

"Okay, I'm just gonna head over to the bar and be morose since that's the way I'm always written," Ted said as he made his way over to the bar. He just hoped someone would write him with someone desirable one day.

"I said, I hope someone will write me with someone desirable one day," Ted yelled to no one in particular.

Just then Justin popped up. "Ted, wanna take me to the backroom and fuck my brains out while Brian washes your car?"

"Thank you," Ted mouthed to no in particular once again.

"So Ash, you in town long?" Emmett said as he leaned up against the broad and manly chest, playing with the chainsaw hand as he did so.

"Long enough to have you blow me, maybe try out one of my new attachments...but then I gotta go. Time dimensions to see, demons to dismember..."

"Well, then by all means, let's get to it," Emmett said as he grabbed Ash's hand and ran with him to the backroom.

"Right here," Emmet said and proceeded to go down on Ash. "Um Ash...sweetie? What's with all the gore on your jeans?"

"I was fighting a witch on the way here."

"Oh, did you go past the lesbian bars on Liberty Ave?"

"Less talking...more sucking," Ash grunted as he shoved Emmett's head onto his cock. Emmett worked his magic on the engorged penis. Ash came with a thunderous shout and unloaded into Emmett's mouth. He grabbed the man off the floor and brought him to his lips. "That was great baby."

Just then, they looked over to where another man was blowing Todd, Babylon's infamous bottom boy, against the wall.

"Hey Todd!" Emmett waved.

"Hey, how's it going? Ow!" Todd yelled as the person sucking on his dick wrenched free and turned around to face Ash.

"Oh God!" Emmett and Todd yelled as the cute twink that had been giving Todd the best blow job in his entire life turned into a demon.

"I'll swallow your soul!" it chanted as it looked at Ash.

"You might want to swallow that cum first hag!" Ash snarked as he brought his chainsaw-hand to life.

Todd and Emmett watched in horror as Ash slashed, as in actually hacked off, the limbs from the demon witch...thingie.

"Oh my," Emmet swooned as he put his hand to his chest.

"Aw," Todd sighed, "he gave great head."

"I hope everyone here is practicing safe sex," Debbie said as she walked into the backroom wearing a tee-shirt that said HAL SPARKS IS A MONKEY.

"Debbie! What are you doing here?!" Emmett shrieked.

"I dunno," she said as she looked around. "I think I'm some fucked up plot device."

"Witch!" Ash yelled and started up his chainsaw again.

"No!" Emmett said as he placed a restraining hand on Ash's forearm, "that's Debbie."

"You sure?" Ash asked dubiously.

"Yes," Emmett sighed.

"I'm...gonna...leave," Debbie said and made her way out quickly.

"Well, I gotta go," Ash said as he hefted his chainsaw hand over his shoulder.

"Again? You just got here," Emmett pouted.

"Awww, don't make a scene baby. I'll be back someday," Ash said and strode off into the night.

As Emmett watched his erstwhile lover leave, he saw Brian walk by holding a bucket and a sponge. "Brian? What are you doing?"

"Where's that asshole Ted! I refuse to wash his car anymore!" Brian yelled.

"Oh Ted, you're much bigger than Brian," Justin moaned from the far wall.