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Visitor Comments: 5

(5)
Shoshana,
July 13, 2011 5:54 PM

it all depends

When the Yom KIppur broke out, we had one child and I was expecting, I was pretty scared, especially since we had to have on the black-out curtains and keep the lghts in the house very dim. But we made sure to remain smiling and calm so our three year old felt nothing. (It was so different than the Six Day War, when I was still single and had no one to worry about but myself). But the Persian Gulf Was was diffeerent altogher. By this time we had a house full of children of all different ages and they were quite scared (and so was I). Whether or not my husband was frightened I have no idea, he stayed calm and strong and this helped me and in turn, the children. Also, it was different than the Yom Kippur War, which came on suddenly. Here we had two tension -filled weeks and then the war started. But we did hide our fear from the children, and that was the best thing.

(4)
Naomi,
May 2, 2010 10:13 PM

It's a tough call

I think it's very healthy to let your kids see you are human, with fears and anxieties. However, moderation is key. You wouldn't want your children to see you every time you are scared or nervous, as they need to stay children and not feel they have to take care of you. It may be better to let your kids know you are scared once in a while, when you could possibly see an opportunity for growth or bonding with your child. Letting your child see you scared once in a while, or fighting with your spouse once is a while teaches that it;s ok to not be perfect, and teached that tolerating frustration is an integral part of life.

(3)
sara,
April 29, 2010 3:43 AM

LOLOLOLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! haha that was way to funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! makes you start thinking...

(2)
Robert,
April 27, 2010 5:10 PM

Fear

Thanks for the funny video but made me think seriously about father's and kids. I wanted to hide my fears from my kids so they could think I was great. It turns out spending time with them and letting them know I am human with problems too is better. Sometimes the kids can teach the parents something if you are open to it. Love means caring, and helping and as they grow older it becomes a two way street.
Keep up the good work at Aish.
Sincerely,
Robert

(1)
Susan,
April 27, 2010 4:56 PM

LOL!

You nutcases! That was funny..I would've been extremely hesitant about going into that dark small place where spiders dwell as well...YUCK! Enjoyed the video..Thanx.

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I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!