Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

Mediation

Anybody had any success with mediation as far as child custody? I'm supposed to set up an appointment for mediation with stbx over child custody and I don't think it will help much. He's hell bent on 50/50 custody and so far that's not what he's been doing. I don't know what to expect from mediation. Anyone been through this?

You can try a trial period of 3 months or so with the division he wants. Then re-evaluate and if he has not been doing it, go to the real percentage that he has. Write that into the agreement. And include that you both have to agree on the new agreement, or to continue the old one.

Mediation worked for me but he wanted joint with me as primary custodial parent. My mediator was really great about laying out what the law was and what a judge would say were we to go to trial so it may work. Good luck!

mediation can help some even if u dont decide on the actual custody cause it also ask do u want smoking around child drinking and goes through all the little stuff also if a parent has to cancel visit how long before they should call and such etc.. and the most important is remember what is best for the child not YOU TWO that is what needs to be done. they may even let u know about classes around your area and if they don't might help to ask about some cause they have a co-parenting class here is helpful.. also find out if your state is a &quot;recommending&quot; state or not if so then the mediator takes and makes a recommendation to the judge on who he felt from his visit with u guys was being true and really would be best for the kids if not a &quot;recommending&quot; state then they don't tell the judge their opinion. good luck hope it is somewhat helpful.

It's a very difficult situation. He says he wants 50/50 because he wants to be part of their lives. And I really want to believe that. I really do. But I don't. As it stands now, he's a parent maybe 30% of the time and that's being nice. He's with them when it's convenient. He loves the boys. I know he does and when he's with them he really is a wonderful dad. When we were together, he was great with them. The issue is that he's really into his new relationship right now. He wants to be with our children as long as it doesn't interfere with his newfound love life (does that make sense?). He wants the kids when she has her son, but when she doesn't have her child (when they can have alone time) he doesn't want them around.

And I believe that finances also play a part in it, although he says it doesn't. I got a call from my lawyer today telling me that he's now asking me for child support which is interesting considering I make less than he does, although his lawyer did some funky accounting to show that with retirement benefits and tax manipulations I should give him child support. I'm very curious to see how that worked out.

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