Tammy Lenskihttp://lenski.com
Tammy LenskiMon, 28 Apr 2014 18:04:02 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9http://lenski.com/blog/blog-feed-change/Blog feed changehttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/62717859/0/tammylenski~Blog-feed-change/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/62717859/0/tammylenski~Blog-feed-change/#respondMon, 28 Apr 2014 18:04:02 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13312
If you receive my new blog articles via email, you can ignore this entire post. But if you subscribe to my blog by RSS feed, this post is for you.
I'm about to make some technical changes on the site and want to make sure you don't miss my posts from here forward. Please take 10 seconds now to subscribe to the new feed by clicking the RSS icon above.

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/62717859/0/tammylenski~Blog-feed-change/feed/0
If you receive my new blog articles via email, you can ignore this entire post. But if you subscribe to my blog by RSS feed, this post is for you.
I'm about to make some technical changes on the site and want to make sure you don't miss my posts from here forward. Please take 10 seconds now to subscribe to the new feed by clicking the RSS icon above.

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http://lenski.com/blog/anxiety-about-difficult-conversations/Anxiety about a difficult conversation? Try this.http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/62452517/0/tammylenski~Anxiety-about-a-difficult-conversation-Try-this/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/62452517/0/tammylenski~Anxiety-about-a-difficult-conversation-Try-this/#commentsThu, 24 Apr 2014 16:58:43 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13292Writing may be a very effective way to boost your performance in pressure-filled situations such as difficult conversations, suggests research out of The University of Chicago's Human Performance Lab.
Even ten minutes of expressive writing (writing about your thoughts and feelings) immediately before a high-stress event can have a big impact on your anxiety level and on your performance says Psychology professor Sian Beilock, author of Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To.
Why does something as simple as writing about your thoughts and feelings offer such a performance boost?

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/62452517/0/tammylenski~Anxiety-about-a-difficult-conversation-Try-this/feed/5Writing may be a very effective way to boost your performance in pressure-filled situations such as difficult conversations, suggests research out of The University of Chicago's Human Performance Lab.
Even ten minutes of expressive writing (writing about your thoughts and feelings) immediately before a high-stress event can have a big impact on your anxiety level and on your performance says Psychology professor Sian Beilock, author of Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To.
Why does something as simple as writing about your thoughts and feelings offer such a performance boost?

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http://lenski.com/blog/retaliation/On retaliationhttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/55607743/0/tammylenski~On-retaliation/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/55607743/0/tammylenski~On-retaliation/#commentsThu, 17 Apr 2014 14:05:53 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13188
"There were times in my own life when I’ve been so hurt that I was sure retaliation would make me feel better. But inevitably, when I can’t harm the people who harmed me I just end up harming the people who love me. So maybe retaliation or holding onto anger about the harm done to me doesn’t actually combat evil. Maybe it feeds it."
— Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/55607743/0/tammylenski~On-retaliation/feed/11
"There were times in my own life when I’ve been so hurt that I was sure retaliation would make me feel better. But inevitably, when I can’t harm the people who harmed me I just end up harming the people who love me. So maybe retaliation or holding onto anger about the harm done to me doesn’t actually combat evil. Maybe it feeds it."
— Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint

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http://lenski.com/blog/vote-book-cover-design/Vote for my book’s cover designhttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/61213501/0/tammylenski~Vote-for-my-books-cover-design/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/61213501/0/tammylenski~Vote-for-my-books-cover-design/#respondTue, 08 Apr 2014 22:06:01 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13138
My latest book, The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind, is sitting on the editor's desk (well, in her computer). That means I've finally got my nose out of the writing app on my MacBook Air and am turning my attention to the many final details...including the all-important cover design.
I've decided to crowdsource the cover design in order to make some really good suggestions to the publisher. Out of 86 entries received by designers from around the world, I've narrowed the options to three. And this is where you come in, I hope.

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/61213501/0/tammylenski~Vote-for-my-books-cover-design/feed/0
My latest book, The Conflict Pivot: Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind, is sitting on the editor's desk (well, in her computer). That means I've finally got my nose out of the writing app on my MacBook Air and am turning my attention to the many final details...including the all-important cover design.
I've decided to crowdsource the cover design in order to make some really good suggestions to the publisher. Out of 86 entries received by designers from around the world, I've narrowed the options to three. And this is where you come in, I hope.

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http://lenski.com/blog/conflict-resolution-songs/A conflict resolution playlist…or twohttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/60825385/0/tammylenski~A-conflict-resolution-playlistor-two/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/60825385/0/tammylenski~A-conflict-resolution-playlistor-two/#commentsFri, 04 Apr 2014 19:00:30 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13090
Thanks to everyone who suggested conflict resolution songs, I've put together not one but two conflict resolution playlists.
You can stream the playlists with an Rdio account (it's free) or scroll down to see the list of songs on each playlist. Just in time for a little Friday afternoon listening...

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/60825385/0/tammylenski~A-conflict-resolution-playlistor-two/feed/2
Thanks to everyone who suggested conflict resolution songs, I've put together not one but two conflict resolution playlists.
You can stream the playlists with an Rdio account (it's free) or scroll down to see the list of songs on each playlist. Just in time for a little Friday afternoon listening...

http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/60632452/0/tammylenski~The-dance-of-criticism/feed/10
Muhammad wrote me with the question, "What amounts to criticizing?" He told me about a difficult situation with his son, with whom he's presently living. He wrote,

I came across your “Conflict Habits” information on my computer from when I don't recall, and after reading it (excellent information) I have a question...

http://lenski.com/blog/ting-listen/Ting, the chinese character for “to listen”http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59657364/0/tammylenski~Ting-the-chinese-character-for-to-listen/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59657364/0/tammylenski~Ting-the-chinese-character-for-to-listen/#commentsSun, 23 Mar 2014 09:25:21 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13035
Have you ever seen the Chinese character ting, to listen? Many of you will have seen this already, I'm sure. For those of you seeing it for the first time, I hope you enjoy it and save a copy for yourself.
I don't know how it is I've blogged here for so long and shared the following in workshops for so long, yet somehow never posted it for you. Consider the oversight rectified...

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59657364/0/tammylenski~Ting-the-chinese-character-for-to-listen/feed/9
Have you ever seen the Chinese character ting, to listen? Many of you will have seen this already, I'm sure. For those of you seeing it for the first time, I hope you enjoy it and save a copy for yourself.
I don't know how it is I've blogged here for so long and shared the following in workshops for so long, yet somehow never posted it for you. Consider the oversight rectified...

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http://lenski.com/blog/argument-culture/The argument culturehttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59378986/0/tammylenski~The-argument-culture/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59378986/0/tammylenski~The-argument-culture/#commentsThu, 20 Mar 2014 12:31:51 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13022
"The argument culture urges us to approach the world—and the people in it—in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to...

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59378986/0/tammylenski~The-argument-culture/feed/21
"The argument culture urges us to approach the world—and the people in it—in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to...

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http://lenski.com/blog/sibling-conflict/When the past holds you fasthttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59238848/0/tammylenski~When-the-past-holds-you-fast/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59238848/0/tammylenski~When-the-past-holds-you-fast/#commentsTue, 18 Mar 2014 21:37:49 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=13015Siblings who have inherited a family business approach me for help. Each makes a case for why the other siblings shouldn’t have power, shouldn’t be trusted, and are damaging the business. They are, of course, playing out a lifetime of wounds not forgotten.
Their coalitions change and morph, several against one, then several others against a different one. They are playing out decades of frustration with each other and while they maneuver and fight, their business is in ever deeper trouble.

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/59238848/0/tammylenski~When-the-past-holds-you-fast/feed/5Siblings who have inherited a family business approach me for help. Each makes a case for why the other siblings shouldn’t have power, shouldn’t be trusted, and are damaging the business. They are, of course, playing out a lifetime of wounds not forgotten.
Their coalitions change and morph, several against one, then several others against a different one. They are playing out decades of frustration with each other and while they maneuver and fight, their business is in ever deeper trouble.

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http://lenski.com/blog/problem-finding/Great conflict resolution starts with great problem findinghttp://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/55610936/0/tammylenski~Great-conflict-resolution-starts-with-great-problem-finding/
http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/55610936/0/tammylenski~Great-conflict-resolution-starts-with-great-problem-finding/#commentsThu, 06 Mar 2014 15:57:58 +0000http://lenski.com/?p=12965
A group of students at the Art Institute of Chicago approached two large tables holding 27 random objects. They'd been asked to select some objects and draw a still life. Some examined just a few items, selected ones that interested them, and got right down to drawing. Others handled more of the objects, turning them over many times before selecting the ones that interested them. They rearranged their chosen objects several times and took longer to complete the assigned still life.
Two University of Chicago social scientists were watching.

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http://feeds.feedblitz.com/~/55610936/0/tammylenski~Great-conflict-resolution-starts-with-great-problem-finding/feed/16
A group of students at the Art Institute of Chicago approached two large tables holding 27 random objects. They'd been asked to select some objects and draw a still life. Some examined just a few items, selected ones that interested them, and got right down to drawing. Others handled more of the objects, turning them over many times before selecting the ones that interested them. They rearranged their chosen objects several times and took longer to complete the assigned still life.
Two University of Chicago social scientists were watching.