On the other hand, my final tip for finding your Career Defining Moment is not at all obvious; in fact it runs contrary to most people’s political instincts for getting ahead in the working world.

My last piece of advice for finding your Career Defining Moment is to regularly seek out opportunities to grant a coworker an Act of Random Kindness, such as:

My Silent Savior — Back in 1983, I spent a little time on the strategy team at Prime Computer. The job really wasn’t my cup of tea. There was virtually no action, just a lot of research and pontification. The big event was the fall board meeting, where each strategist stood up and preached to the Board of Directors about some burning issue facing the company, rattled off a few alternative strategic options and then made a recommendation for dealing with it.

This was before the days of PowerPoint and I was about halfway through my overhead slides when I realized that I was missing one of the key ones. I went to the next slide and did my best to avoid the look of panic. There was a woman on the team that I had never been too crazy about—Ellen. But fortunately for me, Ellen picked up on my anxiety, went over to my stuff, found the missing slide, and gracefully handed it to me just in time for me to lay it on the projector without missing a beat. Ellen had saved my presentation and my career. It’s been decades and I’ve never forgotten it. She won a fan for life.

Stop A BeatingIn Progress – The closer you get to the sales function on your company, the greater the intensity surrounding success and failure. There is no moment in corporate America more charged with emotion than management’s realization that a forecasted major sales order may suddenly be lost.

I remember sitting in a meeting with my old friends Jim Meagher, Gary Sherman, and a salesman named Larry Healy. Larry was working on a big order with Bath Iron Works and something had gone wrong. Jim was being a tough manager and giving Larry a good old fashion (verbal) beating. The BIW sale was a huge corporate effort, with dozens of people involved; many of whom Larry had no control over.

Then Gary did something I’d never seen before, he interrupted Jim and told him “I’m not going to sit here and let you beat up Larry for something that’s not his fault.”

I didn’t know Gary very well, at that point in time, but I was struck by his courage, compassion, and the fact that what he was saying was true. Gary became a hero to me that day and I have since given him numerous references and gone out of my way to promote him to anyone looking for a great sales manager.

Welcome A Stranger Into Your Home – When I was working for Prime in Europe, I managed a partnership with a group of ex-Citibank software developers. The Managing Director of their company was a fellow named Ernst Hennche.

My wife, one-year-old daughter Natalie, and I were temporarily relocated to Wimbledon and didn’t know a soul. Ernst and his wife Mabel went out of their way to introduce us to London and greater England. They invited into their home for dinner, introduced us to friends, and even found a fantastic nanny to look after Natalie so Susan and I could enjoy some free time.

Undoubtedly, they were generous people who truly liked us, but Ernst also knew that the Prime Partnership would become his own Career Defining Moment one day. Specifically, he knew that we’d invariably hit a bump in the road and that I’d have to fight to keep the strategy on track. By reaching out, in a very personal way, he won my support. Indeed when the going got rough, I did end up putting my career on the line for him.

Doing the Right Thing is Always Right!

When God told Evan that acts of random kindness were the way to change the world, he was really saying it’s simply the right thing to do. We often look for clever ways to get ahead, get a raise, or elbow out an adversary at work. The truth is, it’s not that complicated. Management generally wants leaders who develop the people around them.

The best way to do that often begins with a single unexpected act of random kindness.