Tiger Woods made five bogeys and a measly two birdies during a turbulent third round at The Lakes.

Frustrated by the disappearance of the elegance and control that defined his performance over the first two days, the man formerly known as the greatest athlete on the planet cut an animated figure in post-round interview.

“Just starting out, by looking at the first nine holes, [I could see] the greens were way, way firmer than what they were the first two days. Instinctively, I was playing more break, but the greens weren’t breaking. I left everything on the high side, so then I made a concerted effort to take more low lines on the back nine and I missed everything low. Just frustrating.”

Delivered from a position of profound bad faith, the above is noteworthy only as an example of the mental gymanstics required to insulate the ego of a misfiring professional sportsman.

Face-saving tactics aside, Woods sounded enthusiastic about his chances of going low in tomorrow’s final round.

“I just need to get off to a good start on the front nine and let the back nine unfold…If I can just play a good, solid front nine and get things going on the back nine, they have some easy holes on the back nine. If I can shoot some low scores, I’ll be right there…I’ve just got to get off to a positive start, which I didn’t do today.”

Woods tees off on Sunday in the company of two-time champion Aaron “Badds.com” Baddeley, meaning God will likely be charting his progress from on high.