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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

221 responses so far ↓

I like the passive aggressive action on the part of Andrea’s mother and the passive aggressive response of her father. I can’t seem to choose a team. It’s annoying to not have someone do a basic chore, but also annoying to have someone decide it’s time for you to do a chore.

i keep seeing references to “it’s his job” or “it’s her turn” and of course, the weekly chore charts.
come on, if you see something needs to be done, just go ahead and do it. quit whining about others not doing their fair share. just grow up and handle whatever needs to be taken care of.

Someone in that house does the shopping (Mom?) and clearly has a thing for Quakers.
As far as Dad’s two arms, I count at least four other arms about.
Since it is well documented, and lamented, by women that men are paid more I stand by my assertion that Dad is the major (if not the sole) bread-winner.

And Canthz, Dad making the most money (being the “breadwinner”) does not mean he has the hardest job. Most moms still do all the peripheral shit (kids activities, cleaning, bill paying) in addition to their 9-5′s…or at least this was the way it was in my and my friends’ familes…

Oh man, it is such a fine thing that I got to choose my partner, that way I got someone who believes in doing equal shares and paying equally, for for those who don’t, well they don’t have to live like that but can go do their own thing.

I cannot speak to the socio-economic status of recent posters.
I speak only to the note as given us by the PAN God.
The note states that this is the only household task assigned to Dad. This suggests to me that Mom is a housewife…otherwise there are a heap more complaints I would expect from Mom.

I too believe in equal work sharing in the home, but we are talking about the family in the note not our own situations.
I don’t make the rules at their address, but I suggest they live by them or change them.
I suppose this woman chose her partner as well Trickster. She chose him and now must deal with him, warts and all.

That having been said Trickster, I was home from work before my wife and cooked our meals for dinner. Our son did the dishes. Almost all other housework (this does not encompass yardwork) was done by my wife. Not because it was “her job”, but because she was old fashioned that way. Said it she wanted to be a good homemaker for me and would not allow me to do domestic work.
Not everyone burned their bras in the 70′s, but then I am older than many who post here.

#30, because you prefer to assume facts not in evidence.
Again, if mom works outside of the home, she would not be complaining about him not taking out the trash, but about him not doing half of the chores. This makes it much more logical, though not a certainty b any means, that we are dealing with a housewife.

Question, if mom does everything but the trash and trash is assigned to dad…what the heck does Andrea do besides take pictures? Maybe she could lend a hand to poor overworked Mum??

since we are being serious at the moment:
i was talking to a therapist yesterday, and she told me two of the biggest conflicts in most marriages are money, and division of responsibilities. obviously, who handles the money and who takes out the trash are hot buttons for most people.
i’m going to repeat what i said earlier: if you see something needs to be done, just do it. don’t worry about whose turn it is. just nut up and do it, even if it’s a nasty job.
as far as stacking the trash up in the middle of the kitchen, didn’t work, did it? dad walked around it for three days. he knew it was there, he just didn’t want to deal with it. if somebody doesn’t want to acknowledge the existense of an issue, they aren’t going to, no matter how many quaker oats boxes you pile in the middle of the kitchen floor. and canthz is right, you have to deal with your partner, warts and all. sometimes that means admitting he’s a toad about taking out the trash. if you love somebody, that should mean you accept that they have faults and flaws, just as you do. learning how to deal with your mate’s flaws is part of what makes a relationship work.

Canthz I am just saying, I don’t make your connection. I still don’t see how taking out the trash being his job makes her a housewife? I don’t think it is about who does what, but the assumption.
Just to put some light on it, I don’t think that anyone would assume that you were a househusband if your wife had the chore of taking out the trash.

Amen.
No need to B**ch about it.
I had my role to play and she had her’s.
She did not like to answer the door, I thought, because she would come upstairs to get me when someone rang our bell. So I asked her once, “that was nothing, why did I have to come down for that?” She said, “Because you’re the man of the house.”
I never questioned her again. My late wife knew what type of home she wanted and all I had to do to keep her happy was help her make that home.

Don’t get me wrong, this guy is a class A jerk because he steadfastly refuses to do what would appear from these facts to be the only think he asked to do at home…what’s that 2 or 3 times a week? What a putz.

re: #37
There was an episode where Debra left a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs for Raymond to take up. He walked past it for like 3 weeks. (PA or what? on both parts.) When he needed to go on a trip he packed his stuff in a plastic bag and left cheese to rot in the suitcase while he was away. Finally, Debra said she’d step up and be the ONE to get it. Then they physically wrestled over who would take it up.

Whether it is black plastic in-out boxes, used feminine hygiene products, illumination’s refuse or an overabundance of oatmeal…how we discard our garbage is a key to identifying and addressing passive-aggression.

i bet if the chore had involved power tools, dad would have jumped right on it!
there, that’s my sexist comment for the night.
btw, canthz i think the PAN god heard your pleas for mercy. i no longer see the trouble counter:)

how did all that trash stay so nicely stacked?
it probably didn’t, it probably fell over constantly
wouldn’t it have been easier to just take it out herself?
instead of building a garbage tower, and then picking it up repeatedly and rebuilding

ya know, after day one, dear old dad would have found the trash pile in his favorite recliner, if i had anything to do with it
at day three, trash and recliner would have been out at the curb waiting for pick up
huh, guess i am not very passive.

Something I did not get to, #24 asked me what year I live in regarding two income households implying that I was in the 1950′s.
Well LC, I was a sole bread-winner during my 1st marriage from 1985 to 1994…believe it or not “traditional families” still exist…and I took out the trash!
Just to tie up that loose end…I hate loose ends, I have issues! LOL

Naw, Mishee is about Mishee, and GW and claw are artists/wordsmiths…I’m just a dude with nothing to do but bug out on other peoples misperceptions of life.
I am opinionated and the later it gets the more impatient I get with some types of thinking processes…..I treally am nicer than the response on the other thread, but I got a bit pissed…my bad.

My apartment does not have garbage pick up so taking out the garbage consists of hauling a potentially very heavy and fragile bag of gross down three flights of stairs, putting it reluctantly into the trunk of my car, driving approximately two blocks away to the compactor—all the while the heat creates the lovely smell of garbage in my car. I definitely let the bags pile up to avoid having to go through all of this (and we are not allowed to put them outside our doors). I might die of a joyous heart attack if I only had to walk out my front door a few steps away to put the bag on the curb. This dad clearly needs to be grateful for his lot in life. (Nice spin on it, eh?)

I am in college full-time, raise 3 three-year-olds practically by myself, do all the housework and cooking (woman’s work), do all the yardwork and home improvements (man’s work), pay the bills, schedule our engagements, and keep in touch with my family and the in-laws. I do it all. I even initiate sex, believe it or not.

The only thing I don’t do is ride to work 14 days a month, operate a machine while hanging out with friends aka coworkers, ride home, and collect a paycheck. I also don’t get to call home and say I’m going golfing or out with the guys.

So if I ask for him to take out the fucking trash, and he doesn’t? You bet your ass I’m taking a stand and putting the garbage right where he can see AND smell it for as long as it takes.

I can’t stand whiny, lazy men who think that collecting a paycheck makes them exempt from helping an overworked, stressed-out, partner in marriage. There are ways to seek revenge.

More frequent, smaller loads would be easier and less smelly. Less time for things to go rancid indoors. Or, a few cents to a local 1q0 year-old just may do the trick. Maybe a buck, less than $5 per week sounds do-able given the stress relief gained. That’s what kids are for.:-)

Lola,but he takes it out and you let him golf, right? Seems like you guys are doing alright and you are handling your handles. You don’t strike me like the type that would do anything that she wqere uncomfortable doing…all of the things you said that you do, you could, if you wanted have him help with…no?

NO – more like, he then gets PO’d and tells me I’m lazy. it’s really the only major problem we have. no money problems, or disagreements about anything other than housework. so, I just got sick of being called lazy and became Super-Wife.

oooooo sassy!
Just slowly wean him off of his dependancy on you…you did it with the triplets, now do Hubby. You are both adults and three children is a hand full…three of the same birthdate are three handsful.He may not understand, this being your first children and all…no chance to do it once and have the routine down pat when child two comes along, but you must make it clear to him that this will not work for 15 more years. You are in school, I presume you have plans. He is going to have to learn how to pick up some slack and the sooner the better.

Male point of view LOLA:
When you gave in and became super-Wife, he said “GOTCHA”!
You let him frustrate you into “I’ll show you who’s lazy” land.
You got played girl…no offense intended…just letting you in on the male mind. No woman wants to feel like a failure at home (chauvanistic statement, but true) and he played on that…and won.

i don’t know i got mine at the local “adult novelty store”
seriously, try taking a couple of days to go visit family or friends and leave him home with the Trio. if that doesn’t learn him, nothing will.
then again, you may come home to a disaster area.

I know, been there, done that.
I had no clue just how fast a two year old was until my 1st wife gave me a “you try it” week when I had a vacation.
My hat goes of to women. I have seen babies shit out and sleepless nights. I have used the “I have to get up in the morning for work, you check on her” excuse.
Your Hubby will never get it unless you have him activly participate in it…as long as super wife exists he will never see what super-wife does.

Some of you all are REeally dominating the comments here and it has gotten boring. Think of your feelings for that person in every class you’ve ever taken who monopolizes all discussions, mistaking the rankled silence of his or her classmates for rapt attention. K? Luv ya!

hmm raul?
y’all know sooner or later someone is gonna pitch a bitch at our late night rambles
i’m waiting to see what form it takes, and how long. i’ve got a bet with myself about who it will be
and oakely is due back anytime now for another sermon we’re all gonna be monkeys again!

and it happened while i was typing in a comment about it
that’s the beauty of the internet
we can all type at the same time and it all shows up
as far as rankled silence, tweedle, did you really think anyone wanted to know exactly when you started your period? or what you saw in the portajohn?

no hard feelings, tweedle, you have a valid point, and I didn’t mean to ramble. I just didn’t know it was a personal affront to your sensibilities. have a good night, all, I’m headed to the kitchen, from where I’m certain a full garbage can is beckoning me.

I have posted numerous times, over the last couple of monthes. When did quantity surpass quality here? The issue is not that I want to engage in y’alls’ back and forth. I’m saying it’s gotten sort of homogeneous here… kind of eye-glazing to see the same 3-4 people I.M.ing each other endlessly via the comment board.

Well, You fucked up a wet dream didn’t you?
I hope your shriveled life feels a bit plumper now.
“How dare people actually have a conversation wthout me having an inteligible thing to contribute? This must end post haste!”

Well Tweedle, that is because the treatment of the note ended and those who do not choose to IM back and forth while waiting for new material have signed off. Either stay and watch, participate or sign off and wait for the next note….OR AGAIN BEST YET

Telling because Tweedle really had nothing to say, even though asked repeated ly to give us a kernnel to hang our wit upon, yet was still infuriated that others were able to communicate and seemed to have formed a sort of community, you know, what the interney is for?. Bringing people from diverse backgrounds and life experiences together so that we may grow together? Well Tweedle is having none of that if she has anything to say about it!
Tweedle can only function within the confines of someone elses P-A ranting, like a mosquito taking small bites from an unsuspecting victim.
Well, any path to personal happiness I suppose. Just not a path I would take if looking for fulfillment.

I steam roll over no one, I express my opinion and any and all are ivited to dispute my logic. It is not incumbent upon me to agree with you but I will when I do.
I have never, like some askes someone to “shut the F up” for example…the more opinions are aired the better…that is the beauty of the medium. Now, if you want a community that agrees with all that you say take your own suggestion and live in the limited world of your own blog.
I prefer an open forum of idea provided they are shared thoughtfully by thoughtful people. Mere reaction does not float my boat.
Now, you broke in and objected to the direction of our conversation, I then asked that you redirect it to the note…show me the post where you did that. No, you engaged in snipng with Lola instead. Pots calling kettles black all round I’d say.

i just have to do this
i checked, and i have commented a lot the last few days.
so, i now apologize to tweedle (and any one else) for making y’all feel steamrollered.
i was playing around, but i didn’t mean to be rude.

I truly am sorry that we took over tonight. I looked back and here’s what I saw:

I posted on #101 about the PAN.

A few others asked questions, and we goofed around a bit.

You popped in on post #124 w/ an unnecessarily rude post. That’s 23 posts between 3 people. You know how fast posts can add up, since you were involved with the last 38.

I just wanted to point out that the “boring-ness” was caused by the absence of other posters being online tonight. I have a feeling this wouldn’t even be an issue if everyone weren’t in bed or out partying their asses off! Where are your priorities, people?

I looked back over the last few days and saw that I had a few small spurts of activity, but nothing that required a response like the one I received. I’m sorry I overreacted a bit!

Next time, I’d do better with a “get back on topic, please,” as long as you add the

I will post this one here because I think it’s late enough that no one is here…just re-read the entire string and in some way shape or form the conversation was related to family distribution of labor for at least 85% of the time before it was interrupted. The fact that there were only a few people involved in that conversation does not mean that it was not related to the subject provided.

I did this once – but it was a whole room of stuff moved to the front porch. Sounds bad, I know – I’ve done (like Tori Amos) “many, many, many naughty things”..

Anyhow – I was renting rooms in a house and one of the renters had not paid rent or hydro in 2 months and every time he opened his door the whole house would smell like…gah! I don’t even know what what it might smell like – better than that garbage up there, I bet…That’s really what got me…you could smell it if you walked past his door all the time (and his door was between the kitchen and the bathroom – ugh).

Every time I asked him for money he would have some excuse….

We were on the third month of missed rent and he decided to take a surprise 3 day vacation that started the day before rent day.

He was pretty pissed when he got back and said:”I can’t believe you did this, I was so excited to tell you about how I’m going to get your money in three weeks…”

Lola, I need you to take off one Saturday morning, early (preferably after he got really drunk at the golf course the night before) and leave him with all of our three-year olds. Then he can watch them and throw Cheerios at them while you go and have some you-time.
If he doesn’t have the house clean and the dishes done call him lazy.
I realize he’s your partner and all, and perhaps has redeeming qualities (you haven’t mentioned even one) but I want to punch men like that in the nose. For real. If my fiance called me lazy in seriousness it would start a massive war. Seriously, if you’re doing the bulk of the work, that ain’t cool.

there are SO many posts that im not going to bother to read up on them so forgive this, im sure its a duplicate observati0n…
if this is dads only chore, he needs to be shot for just not doing it. if its anything like it used to be in my house growing up, momma cleans house, does dishes, cooks, scrubs toilets and it all goes by unnoticed without any thanks. but when she asks dad to do one fucking chore he pitches a fit.
i think dads nuts need to be wrapped nice and tight at their base with a rubber band until they turn so blue they fall off.
then mom can take THOSE out to the trash .

I have to say that, although I am limited to the male sex as a companion option by my straightness, I would never choose one that ever dared to call me lazy, did not comprehend that he lives in a thing called a house, which is not to be mistaken for a trash dump or the like, and does not conform to the disgusting stereotypes of men who are incessently lazy. My guy is quite aware of all those things and, without having his and hers chore lists, he sees crap sitting around, he cleans it for his benefit as much as I would if I came across it. As for all you women who think mind tricks work with men, you obviously know not men. Completely over their heads (as seen in the post). The trick is not linking yourself to a lazyass, and trying a little harder for the sort who has common sense. And having children with that lazyass is just poisoning the pool for future generations of women with potential lazyasses.

These really long conversations that drift off topic remind me of the old type chat that you could find on the internet in -96.

And I feel both ways about them. As some of you may know, the world consists of other time-zones outside the American ones aswell. This can actually cause trouble for the non-American time-zoners who visit this blog on what is to them evening and night time, and are faced with a new and exciting entry, and over 100 comments to read before posting one of their own.
Not everyone feels they have to post their comment, if 45 others have stated the same thing already. Most of these comments are only fun if read at the time of the actual “chatting”.
On the other hand, if you are part of the “chat” at the actual time, it is very rewarding.

Off topic comments will n longer be here Trickster, see Troublemakers HQ button at top of page.
As far as time zone discrepancies I’m sure the Pan God(dess) will alter physics when time provides a spare moment.
#176 I just about agree, some women believe that men think like them, or even that we think…silly, huh? LOL

And in that, I embrace the more male tendency to just say what is on your mind, aka “Please take out the trash,” and not circle around the subject by leaving mountainous piles of stuff I could have spent taking outside instead of spending more time piling it up so tidily as in the picture. So very hard, eh?

If ours gets to where the trash is falling out I just say to my husband ” do you mind getting that trash for me” it seems to work. He doesn’t not do it on purpose, but I know he’s not one for paying attention. Thats where I come in to remind him and ask for what I want. I don’t know, it works for us.

Oh, I know every man thinks, it is simply to what degree they do. Thank god I found the one guy who does not enjoy sports. Although his joy found in guns is almost the exact same, only I enjoy it as well. So no complaints.

what are those little quaker boxes? what where they once full of? someone way up there referenced hot chocolate, but i hope to god not. even for oatmeal, thats got to be the family von trap living in there. or maybe they run oaumeal bar stands on the weekend instead of lemonade.

Oh, I do this all the time to my roommate. She won’t take out the trash or the recycling (yet she drinks around 6 cans of Coke/day) so I just pile it up and leave it in front of our door. It still takes her about 2 weeks to take them out each time.

olivia, put it in front of HER door. i had a roomate that would do that, so i started doing that and it fixed the problem REAL fast. but by then she had pushed all my buttons so i didnt care if i were nice.
she got really pissed, so i dont know how wise of an idea it is, but hell. you know her, i dont.

For the record (don’t you hate it when someone starts a sentence like that) I do take out the garbage and recycle…even after a long day at work and a one-hour commute both ways. The Dad in question (see, on topic) can generate enough effort to get off his butt and take out the trash.

While P-A escalation makes for interesting thread topics, it is no good in a relationship.

If my wife decided to handle problems in our relationship in this manner I think I would start banging her sister. That’s the passive aggressive equivalent to a nuclear bomb.

And my darling daughter could kiss her college fund good-bye for submitting this. You can pay for junior college with stripper tips, sweetie. You might improve your earning potential if you lay off the hot chocolate, though.

Yeah, I’m a slacker, so I’ve had these types of tactics thrown at me before. He only lasted three days? You fucking stack that shit in the middle of the floor, I can sure as hell hold out longer than you can. I just wish it didn’t give them so much “I’m the only one who does anything” ammo.

I married the one who figured me out. She never bitches at me directly to do anything, and certainly never pulls any of this crap. She starts doing what I was supposed to do, before I get around to doing it, so I feel bad and practically wrestle the chore away from her.

Wow, I can’t believe it was allowed to get so far. I’ve dated slobs but dumped em as soon as I found out. DIVORCE that lazy slob. There are plenty of men out there who aren’t selfish, entitled, lazy asshats. TEAM MOM!

I think women need to stop living for their men. Of course they are great to have around for certain things, but come on! No guy really cares that much about how clean the bookshelf is, so why do it for them when they do not care? Do it for yourself and you will not be disappointed! Problem solved!

Wow.. Interesting theory. So any guy who likes his house clean is gay? (Regardless whether he cleans it himself or has a wife that does it.)Where’d you come up with that gem of a thought, the School for Ignorant Thinking?

Despite your intentions of being rude and thinking I am ignorant, no, not every man who cares about things being clean is gay. Men who care about spotlessness are. And women who care about that stuff are compulsive. My guy does not like a trash heap, but he does not ispect dust particles. Another case of jumping the gun on behalf of society.

Her’s a new concept………Keep the nagging to yourself and see how fast it gets done. How did I ever get anything done before marriage without being told 50 times? Marriage would be so much better with less talking.

Hell, my apartment was a shit hole (in retrospect), that’s one of the reasons I was attracted to my wife, she kept things woman-clean and I was used to man-clean.
There is a little bit of Felix Unger in some guys that seems a bit “sweet”.

My stepdaughter kept refusing to do the dishes because she was more concerned with going out with her friends. After two days of telling her to do it, I finally put all of the dirty dishes on her bed while she was out with her pot-smoking friends. She got the hint.

When I first got married, my wife and I were both uni-going slobs (eg, we washed dishes once a week on average). Five years on, I have borderline OCD and my wife is somewhere in between. But I take the opinion that if I want things super-clean, that’s my perogative so I do the extra cleaning and don’t ‘nag’ anyone else to.

The ‘men are messy women are tidy’ generalisation couldn’t be more wrong in my experience. The guys I have lived with have at least kept the house clean enough to not be a health risk, whereas the messiest, slobbiest people I’ve lived with (I’m talking mouldy plates behind the couch, bathroom cleaned once in 12 months) have both been women.

I’m getting irritated with the guy who says If you see something needs to be done, just do it! That poster can come to my house and see things that need to be done… my husband sure doesn’t as I left him a similar pile today placed more effectively on his computer chair (not the first time either). Worse yet, the reason I ask him to take it out daily is b/c we have a baby and there are diapers in there – ick!

Men wonder why women nag them… Personally, I hate nagging – it’s not fair or fun to the nagger either.