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Jokes

Bill Burr on Inter-Racial Sex

Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there’s like this whole added pressure to perform. ‘Cause it’s kinda like you’re not just humping for yourself. You’re humping for your race. You got to represent your people.

Bill Burr on Death

Why would you listen to another human being tell you where you’re going to go when you die?
“Dude, have you ever been dead?”
“No.”
“So, wouldn’t it be safe to assume that you wouldn’t have the slightest fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

Bill Burr on Brunch

Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.