[liquid from the trunk of a car containing two corpses splashes up onto Greg's face and into his mouth]Sara Sidle: Technically, that makes you a cannibal. Grissom would be proud.Greg Sanders: Grissom would have tasted it on purpose.

Greg Sanders: All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.Gil Grissom: All play and no work makes Greg an UNEMPLOYED boy.

Greg Sanders: I, am a genius.Warrick Brown: Let me guess, you ran the DNA and got a hit?Greg Sanders: No.Gil Grissom: You ran the DNA and something distinctive came up?Greg Sanders: No.Warrick Brown: You rolled out of bed and managed to dress yourself?Greg Sanders: No.

Gil Grissom: So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?Greg Sanders: Weird, ha?Gil Grissom: Well, I race cockroaches!

Warrick Brown: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?Gil Grissom: The winner?

[Looking for clues in a messy trailer]Nick Stokes: People are pigs.Gil Grissom: Don't insult the pigs, Nick. They're actually very clean.

Catherine Willows: We're mid-case. Why do we have to do this now?Gil Grissom: Well, unless I get these evaluations in, I'll be written up.Catherine Willows: My goals... all right, for starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to cut my triples down to 10 instead of the usual 20, and I would love to find a reliable babysitter so I could have myself some kind of a personal life.Gil Grissom: You don't have a personal life?Catherine Willows: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months.Gil Grissom: How can I help?[Her eyes widen]Gil Grissom: You. Advance, I mean.

Zach: You know how it is, you look like you were a jock in college.Greg Sanders: Me?Sara Sidle: Him?

Nick Stokes: [Greg opens a cupboard and pulls out a book] I thought that's where you kept your porn.Greg Sanders: I move it around.

Gil Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.Nick Stokes: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?Greg Sanders: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.Nick Stokes: What have you been doing all day?

Catherine Willows: Never doubt. Never look back. That's how I live my life.Gil Grissom: I admire that.

Grissom: "The evil men do always lives after them. The good is often interred with their bones."Warrick Brown: Shakespeare?Grissom: [nods] Julius Caesar.

Catherine Willows: If something doesn't feel right to you, it usually isn't.

[Grissom walks by the lab where Greg is playing music]Gil Grissom: Hey, Sanders, no punk rock.Greg Sanders: What about Black Flag?Gil Grissom: Are you nuts?

[Later in the lab]Sara Sidle: You made my pickle into a light bulb?

Catherine Willows: So, any luck with the blood and hair samples I gave you?Greg Sanders: Don't insult me. Luck is only for those without skill.Catherine Willows: Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.Greg Sanders: Sad, but true.

Greg Sanders: I had to send this to an outside lab since we're not equipped to carry out bacterial DNA analysis. Hint, hint.

[about an elastic plastic]Gil Grissom: What's it found in?Hodges: Greg-Sanders-wear.

Catherine Willows: Lovers and co-workers, that never works.

Catherine Willows: What kind of perverse game are you playing here, Gil?Gil Grissom: I'm not a pervert.

[after Greg kicks him out of the lab]Warrick Brown: Did you take your medication today?

Warrick Brown: You just don't let up, do you?Sara Sidle: It's a flaw.

Catherine Willows: [looking at a surveillance video of a teenage boy in an elevator] You crack this kid's head open, all that would come out would be T&A.Greg Sanders: I think you said that about me once.Catherine Willows: Actually, more than once.

Greg Sanders: Hey Catherine, you think Sara would go to dinner with me?Catherine Willows: Sure, as long as you don't tell her it's a date.

Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.

Nick Stokes: You need to get a girlfriend.David Phillips: I'm engaged, but thank you.

Greg Sanders: [about orthodontia] I had it all - palate expander, braces, retainer, headgear. Five years of torture, but worth every penny, don't you think?

Gil Grissom: Amazing how the sight of blood can clear a room.

Captain Jim Brass: What can't you put your finger on, apart from the cut off switch?

[Cath stares at the body of her deceased ex-husband]Dr. Al Robbins: Catherine, you can't say goodbye in an autopsy room.

Gil Grissom: There is always a clue.

Hodges: I didn't page you.Nick Stokes: No. I just figured I'd come by.Hodges: You're checking up on me again.Nick Stokes: No, I'm checking up on my evidence.Hodges: Do you think if you hover the FTIR will work faster?Nick Stokes: Yes, Hodges, that's what I think.

[to Warrick]Catherine Willows: Whatever you say, Superfly.

Sara Sidle: Is there truly no place left in Las Vegas without slot machines?

Catherine Willows: What's up, David? You find something?David Phillips: I was just thinking that I wouldn't be caught dead in those shorts.

Gil Grissom: Ok, we're going off the board tonight.Sara Sidle: Off the board?Catherine Willows: Fish. The ones that got away.Sara Sidle: Oh. I missed that one.

Gil Grissom: I tend not to believe people; they lie. The evidence never lies.

Nick Stokes: Mrs Hendler, do you and your husband do much rock climbing?Amy Hendler: Yes.[points gun at Nick]Amy Hendler: That's what I killed her with.

Catherine Willows: The thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility it might come true. And when you lose that possibility it just... kinda... sucks.

Sara Sidle: So what is it?Hodges: Give me some time, I'm not a miracle worker.Sara Sidle: Well, that's obvious, Hodges, or else you wouldn't be rude.Hodges: I wasn't being rude, I was being curt. Rude would be "When I know, you'll know." Friends?Sara Sidle: No.

Nick Stokes: [Archie was talking to Nick about a Star Trek episode] You need a girlfriend.Archie: You first.

Gil Grissom: The rich are just as depraved as the poor.

Gil Grissom: Where's your enthusiasm?Greg Sanders: Whenever I find a match in here, my world gets a little smaller. Out there I felt large.Gil Grissom: Out there means a pay cut.Greg Sanders: I'm not about the money.

[Sara storms in, obviously angry]Sara Sidle: You weren't in your office.Gil Grissom: And good morning to you too, Miss Sidle.

Gil Grissom: What you do on your time is your business. What you do on my time is my business.

Catherine Willows: [to Grissom] What would you do without me?

Gil Grissom: I'm sorry, you look lostSheriff Rory Atwater: I've been calling your cell.Gil Grissom: We get bad reception here in CSI. Listen, if this is about dinner, I'm free next week. I'll be having the fish.