Category Archives: Not Your Mom’s Dinner Party

2) Who was your worst boss? I’ve only had one so answering would be unfair.

3) Have you ever road raged someone? Nope, but I’ve never driven a car on a paved road yet.

4) If a person were opposite from you in every way where would they live and what would they be like? They would not have a permanent residence and they would love to travel the world while owning nothing.

5) Have you ever been conned? A little, but I think I’m good about avoiding big cons.

6) What was your dad’s favorite swear word? Probably “damn”

7) Is public nudity beautiful or inappropriate? That would depend on the context. Mostly inappropriate, sometimes necessary. I would never say beautiful, but if you’re swimming or something I really don’t care.

8) Can you do weird tricks with your face or body? I can curl my tongue, twist my hand 360 degrees, and flare my nostrils. So I got the most boring set of things to do.

9) How long can food be on the ground and still be game for fair eating? As soon as it hits the ground it’s dirty. If it can be washed until it gets covered by some organism eating it. If it can’t be washed, never.

10) What topic do you know more about than anyone else in the room? Right now I’m the only one in the room so everything.

11) When’s the last time you did something mean to someone? I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve done much mean in the rememberable past.

12) What’s the best Halloween consume you’ve seen? Whichever one was making its wearer the most happy.

13) What’s your best excuse when you’re pulled over for speeding? Having never been pulled over I don’t know.

14) Have you ever “drunk dialed” someone? Nope, but I’ve never been drunk so I couldn’t have.

15) What’s the difference between innocent flirting and cheating? The point where you start lying about it.

16) Which non-politician would make the best president? I have no idea, many of them would be terrible, I’d need to know their platform, which they don’t talk about unless they’re running.

17) If you were in jail and could request any person to break you free who (sic) would you choose? No one.

18) Would you rather be 10% smarter or 10% better looking? Smarter for sure.

19) Would it be worse for someone you despised to be your boss or assistant? Boss, because if the feeling was mutual they could take it out on me with less chance of repercussions.

20) What don’t women want? I can’t just generalize that (Joke: “me”)

21) Who do you dislike without good reason? Everyone

22) What book do you wish you’d written? All of them.

23) Would you rather have more friends or be closer to the ones you have? That would really depend on what that means, either one would work.

24) What’s the most unusual gift you have received? I got a set of dental molds once.

25) Who’s the quirkiest person in the room? I’m the only one here.

26) What body part are you most attracted to? Shoulder blades.

27) If you were going to get fat on your favorite snack foods what would they be? I wouldn’t.

28) What very difficult cuts would you make if you were superintendent of your school district? Get rid of everybody in protest of the current system.

29) When is a pre-emptive strike against another country justified? If they are indeed actively planning to attack you in the near future. But actual intent is always a hard thing to gauge.

30) Would you choose a life in the clergy or in the military? I might say clergy only because I think I would let the people working with me down in the military.

31) If your personal credo was an acronym what would it be? I don’t have a personal credo.

32) What was your worst breakup? The only one.

33) Which fictional character would you adopt into your extended family gatherings to make things more interesting? I wouldn’t do that. Maybe Solid Snake or Jack Ryan.

34) What For Dummies book have you read? None yet.

35) Which celebrity do you think will die next? I don’t care. There are so many celebrities it’s hard to keep track.

41) How much would you have to be paid to spend a year in jail? A couple million dollars to I would never do it, it would depend on how much money I needed.

42) What does the opposing political party do better than yours? Getting people to vote for the same candidate.

43) How many people in this room could beat you at arm wrestling? I’m the only one in the room right now.

44) What’s the worst photo ever taken of you? All of them.

45) Who’s had too much plastic surgery? The woman who got the largest fake breasts.

46) If you were given a free super bowl ad who would you advertise? Pygmy Marmosets

47) Would you rather have a picture of you on a bad hair day in a national magazine or in your wedding photo? Probably in my wedding photo (not sure how my spouse in this scenario would feel about that) but it would be more likely to end up in a magazine.

48) Would you rather be addicted to gambling or food? Food costs less money

49) If you could hang out with any band of outlaws who would it be? I would choose to live and not do that thank you.

50) Would you rather have everyone love you but hate yourself or the reverse? I think the reverse would work out fine. (but I have no preference)

51) What’s the most embarrassing moment you’ve witnessed? I can’t recall right now.

52) What would you ask Hugh Hefner if he came to dinner? Can he leave my house?

53) What’s the most likely reason you would lose your job? A biased boss.

54) What adjectives do you hope describe you when you are 75?

55) What’s a taboo you haven’t tried but are curious about? None

56) Have you ever been fired? No

57) What skill do you possess that most people don’t know about? Lock Picking.

58) If you had to sleep with one of your previous teachers who would you choose?

59) What possessions would you like to get rid of?

60) Would you rather be an American Idol judge or a Supreme Court Justice? Supreme Court of course.

61) Boxers or briefs or nothing at all? Boxers

62) What habit would you like to break? Staying up late.

63) How much money do you need to make before it’s enough? All of it.

64) Is monogamy natural for humans? No, but it creates a stable civilization.

65) What’s the worst thing you’d do for a million dollars? Not much.

66) Do you have an archenemy?

67) What type of stealing is ok? Food to survive.

68) What’s the most embarrassing lie you’ve told? I can’t think of that.

69) What’s the most unfortunate thing you’ve done under the influence? I have never been under the influence.

70) What alcohol can you never drink again? Any

71) What’s an experience you’ve had that not many people know about? Most of my experiences.

72) What secrets will you keep from your children? Not many probably, but it would depend on what they ask. (Why would I answer that on the internet anyway?)

82) What celebrity are you embarrassed to find attractive? None I can think of.

83) Who in the room has a tattoo? I’m the only one so no one.

84) What’s under your bed? A lot of board games and random stuff. (I have a bunk bed so there’s a lot of storage space underneath)

85) Where’s the worst place you’ve had to relieve yourself? Out in the woods is uncomfortable, but not that bad, and I can’t think of anywhere worse.

86) Would you accept a 15% pay cut to have a regular three-day weekend?

87) Which activists are the most annoying? Activists

88) In a war between superheroes who would win? The Hulk and Superman

89) Would you rather spend a week in jail or serve two years of community service? A week in jail for sure.

90) How far into pregnancy should abortion be allowed? It shouldn’t be, unless at some point during the pregnancy they determine that the child or mother will be killed or permanently crippled if an abortion is not preformed. (or if the child was conceived via rape)

91) What’s the wildest party you’ve been to? One where nothing really happened because I’m a boring person.

92) Have you ever lied about your age?

93) Would you take a 50% pay cut to have a job you were guaranteed to passionately love? Nope

94) If one of your friends needed to move in for a year who would you like it to be? I think I’ve already answered this.

95) Should insurance benefits be extended to domestic partnerships? No? Depends on the type of insurance.

96) What’s the biggest crime you’ve committed? Lying about my age. (I might have gone into some houses I thought were abandoned and weren’t sometime too.)

97) What restaurant has the worst food? I’d be bad to judge as I don’t like food in general.

98) Is it better to stay married for the kids? No and yes, depends on who you are and how bad it is.

99) What do you do that’s bad for your health? Continue being alive. Also soda and junk food, and getting no exercise.

100) What’s your biggest pet peeve? Doing the dishes

101) Where should the line be drawn between church and state? Where they end.

102) What would be one good thing about being the opposite sex? I feel like I’ve answered this before too.

103) Are we more likely to receive proof of alien life or god? I have no idea, both would be cool.

104) At what age were you in the best shape? Unfortunately a few months ago most likely (which means I’m in terrible shape)

105) Is it worse to discover your fly is down, spinach is in your teeth, or toilet paper is tuck to your shoe? Toilet paper hands down.

106) How do your siblings see life differently than you? They hate people less.

107) When did you get into the most trouble as a teenager? I don’t remember, probably something about getting my haircut.

108) Would it be worst to discover your teen had thrown a kegger in your house, slept with her boyfriend in your bed, or wrecked your car? Depends how bad the kegger was, it would be between that or the car.

109) Have you witnessed a crime? Yes

110) What’s your personal hell? Haven’t thought about it much

111) What’s your favorite dirty word and why? I don’t have one.

112) What author would you choose to write your memoir? Myself

113) What’s the trashiest book you’ve read? Any Romance novel I’ve picked up

114) Do you make voting decisions based on your financial or moral positions? Moral obviously.

115) What’s the poorest you’ve ever been? When I had literally no money, fortunately I wasn’t in the hole.

116) Have you ever been in a physical fight? Yep

117) Have you ever had an anxiety attack?

118) What stereotypes of your minority group do you fit? I have a Jewish nose with Irish hair and temper.

119) What grade would you give yourself for environmental responsibility? Better than average, but not very good.

120) Did you ever run away from home?

121) How much would you pay to be able to slam dunk? Nothing (haven’t I answered this one too?)

122) What’s your guiltiest pleasure? Can’t think of any.

123) Do you believe in ESP? No

124) What’s the most scared you’ve ever been? When I was falling down a mountain.

125) Should we have a national healthcare system? Don’t we already have that? (It would depend on what “national” means)

126) What extent have you gone to when you had a crush on a celebrity? I’ve gone nowhere.

127) What’s the email you most regret sending? The one where I misspelled the most things.

128) Would you rather be in big trouble with you partner, boss, or mother? Boss, he doesn’t follow me home.

129) What song would you sing at karaoke? An Explosions in the Sky song

130) Have you ever been escorted out by security? No

131) If you had to obtain $1 million by illegal means how would you do it?

132) Would you be more afraid to be trapped on a rope bridge over a canyon or in a dark cramped cage? Dark cramped cage for sure.

133) Have you had a dream that foretold the future? No, don’t be ridiculous.

134) Which celebrity couple makes the least sense to you? They’re all just lizard people. Any of them really.

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