what, i didn't say i had a personal understanding of the bleakness of said drink, i just said that, taking thermofusion at face value and assuming that his steve guttenberg drink really is bleak, i don't understand why you'd then name it after steve guttenberg. if i was to name a bleak drink after a famous person, i think it'd probably be called a franz kafka.

The real question is, why would you drink vodka and water in the first place? And the answer is, you're a cheap fuck with no style who wants to get drunk. I am not sure what that has to do with Steve Guttenberg but that reminds me, did you see the ad for the new Pixar movie during the Superbowl? That robot kinda looked like Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, which also featured Steve Guttenberg, but not vodka to my recollection.

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The real question is, why would you drink vodka and water in the first place? And the answer is, you're a cheap fuck with no style who wants to get drunk.

Long story short, we had a leftover bottle of Aristocrat than an actual cheap fuck (not me) had brought over a few weeks ago. I wanted to rid my liquor stash of it but I didn't want to waste good tonic water...so I defaulted to making Steve Guttenbergs.

Actual long story. A Steve Guttenberg. It's a drink I made up in college with my penniless associates. A drink we imagined Steve himself assembling in the flickering flourescent squalor of his apartment, standing at his dirty kitchen sink and drinking his way through the grimmest realities of his late career. It was meant more lovingly than Andrew assumed because the tragic swan dive of his 80s comedy superstardom into made for TV remakes of the Poseidon Adventure makes what happened to Chevy Chase look like a hiccup. And dammit, man, the Police Academy movies were pretty straight up until the Miami Beach one. And last night, I sipped the bitter nostalgia of college before tossing an empty plastic jug of cheap vodka into the trash. And my cheap ass will be getting back to that bottle of Ketel One shortly.

On prom night, after the dance at my friend's house for a party, said friend asked me and my fourteen-year-old date if we wanted to use his bed. A very long, very uncomfortable silence followed. We then went into the living room, and watched Short Circuit, and I did not have sex with the fourteen-year-old.

would that it were not the case, but yes. the ones you may not be aware of are: 5--the miami one, 6--the "city under siege" one, and 7--the moscow one (the only one i haven't seen). 7 came out in 1994, something like 5 years after the rest, which all came out in rapid succession, something like one a year, throughout most of the 80s.

when I saw Police Academy 6 in the theater in 1989, I gave it ***, thus rendering it tied with 4 as my favorite of the series. I also have a record of Police Academy, the Series, volumes 1 & 2, which I assume was an animated series but have no recollection of whatsoever. Apparently I liked vol. 2 more, as it won ***. Of course, on the same page I gave Patrick Swayze's Road House a Citizen Kane-equaling ****. Which might not be too far off, actually; I'd probably watch 7 Road House movies even now.

when I saw Police Academy 6 in the theater in 1989, I gave it ***, thus rendering it tied with 4 as my favorite of the series. I also have a record of Police Academy, the Series, volumes 1 & 2, which I assume was an animated series but have no recollection of whatsoever. Apparently I liked vol. 2 more, as it won ***. Of course, on the same page I gave Patrick Swayze's Road House a Citizen Kane-equaling ****. Which might not be too far off, actually; I'd probably watch 7 Road House movies even now.

there was an animated police academy series in 1988 and a live-action one in 1997. i had to check imdb to figure this out, i don't remember either one.