When the residents of west Cumbria were told it was finally safe to leave their houses last Wednesday afternoon, they came out squinting into the sunlight to share news of unimaginable horror. It was the loveliest weather for the most awful of days.

On Sunday , about 1,500 people gathered at two services in pouring rain to remember the 12 people killed by Derrick Bird four days earlier. This time, the weather reflected the mood. All was grey.

By the beach at Seascale, a short walk from where Bird murdered his final three victims – Jane Robinson, Michael Pike and Jamie Clark – a service was held for locals to pay their respects to the dead, while about 1,000 later gathered for a vigil of "recollection and remembrance" in Whitehaven, just round the corner from the taxi rank where Bird shot fellow driver Darren Rewcastle.

Earlier, Bird's two sons had released a statement saying that they were "devastated" by the death of their father, who they said was "the nicest man you could ever meet".

Among those sheltering under umbrellas at Seascale were Sheena Pike, widow of Michael, and other relatives of the dead. Jordan Williams, a nine-year-old who witnessed Mr Pike's murder, was also present.

"The real community is not a faceless community," said the Reverend John Woolcock, vicar of Seascale, who led a minute's silence for the victims. We know each other. Tragedy does not take all of our love – it increases it."

Throughout the service, Woolcock referred only to the "12 dead" – there was no mention of the final death, of Bird himself, in a Lake District wood.

"I suspect that nearly every one of you knew at least one person who was killed," said the Reverend Richard Teal in an address that praised "the resilience and strength of west Cumbrians". Worshippers recited Psalm 121, which promises: "The Lord will defend you from all evil; it is he who will guard your life."

Teal acknowledged that many people would ask where God was when Bird went on the rampage. "I know many of you will question why this happened – for those going through suffering and bereavement, no theoretical answer will do," he conceded.

Accompanied by a music group, the crowd sang Be Still for the Presence of the Lord, The Lord's My Shepherd, and Amazing Grace. During the last hymn, sobs could be heard above the music.

"Please don't ask us how we feel," said Joan Bell, looking out from under her hood with watery eyes. She was at the front of the crowd with her friend Anne Cox during the service, defiantly umbrella-less. The 70-year-olds were friends of Robinson, murdered as she delivered catalogues. The pair had seen Robinson's twin, Barrie, in Seascale'sSt Cuthbert's churchthis.

Cox said: "Jane was a bird lover, and during the service a sparrow flew into the church. I said to Barrie: 'Take that as a sign she's still with you.'"

There was no anger at the emergency services, condemned by the press for failing to stop Bird sooner. By the end of the service, collection buckets for the Cumbria Air Ambulance were full of coins and soggy notes. Bell said she had returned from a boat trip on the Danube last Tuesday. "People kept asking me where I came from. I said: 'Seascale – you won't have heard of it.' " She paused for a moment. "They will now."