KUALA LUMPUR — As the row over the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) and statements made by its officebearers is simmering, the younger but longer-established Obedient Kids Club (OKC) has today made a statement asking the nation to give some attention to them now.

In a written statement read by its vice-president Khairul Azmi bin Saipul, 9, the OKC said that “they had made obedience ‘in’ long before before the OWC was even conceptualised”, and that it wasn’t a “friggin’ big deal”, referring to the Obedient Wives Club, an organisation allegedly put together by former members of Al-Arqam, a banned religious cult and business entity in Malaysia.

“It’s unbelievable how the country — nay, the world — got so caught up by the Obedient Wives Club and the things they said,” read Khairul. “We the OKC have been advocating obedience and absolute submission to our parents and adults in general for almost 3 decades, and nobody paid attention. Like the OWC, we’ve taken the things we’ve been taught by our elders and written in books, and turned them into a policy, for what we believe would contribute to a harmoneous nuclear family and a healthy society in general. And yet no one stood up and protested vehemently. No one was disgusted, saying that we were ‘reversing a century of progress’ and so on. What gives?”

Khairul added that while the messages that the OKC may not have been as sensational as the ‘better than prostitute’ statement the OWC vice president Dr Rohana Mohamad made, the 50,000-strong membership club does have some spicy things to say, deserving of mention in the papers and television.

“For example, the OKC believes that kids should behave at all times, and not just when there are adults around! Now, how’s that for sensational statement, huh?” he asked the journalists who attended the Press conference at his backyard in Subang Jaya. “And get this — the OKC thinks sticking to the bedtime that parents set for us is every child’s duty! Now that’s simply incendiary, yeah!

“Ooh, yeah, if we want to touch on the super-sensitive topic of S-E-X,” continued Khairul, whispering the letters S, E and X, “then here’s OKC’s principle: we think kids should NOT engage in any sexual activities or even be exposed to it! HAH! That should rile up some children’s rights activists, yes?” he laughed.

“So please, after a week of name-calling, socio-political commentaries and jokes, let’s all just forget those so-called ‘conservative’ OWC,” said Khairul, ending the conference after hearing his mom call his name. “We the Obedient Kids Club are definitely more conservative and less progressive. We make it our goal to curb all kinds of freedom yearned by children around the world, from TV to Playstation, from girl- and boy-friends to questioning whatever our obviously smarter adults say. The media focus should be on us! People should be enraged by this club’s very existence!

“So BBC, NYT, CNN, whoever… gimme a call, ya?” he said, while doing the thumb-and-pinkie ‘phone’ gesture and quickly running back inside after his mom began yelling his name and threatened to ground him.

2 responses to “Obedient Kids Club demands attention”

Next, we need “Obedient Parents Club” (OPC) to educate parents so that they wouldn’t be reluctant to cane (rotan) their disobedient kids, and at the same time educating their kids into becoming their successors in that club, whilst planting the ideals of OPC into the mind of the kids (a.k.a. brainwashing so that they won’t oppose this in the future and keep continuing the ‘tradition’). What good would come from it? We won’t see stupid news like “Parents suing teachers for finger-shooting (jentik) the ears of their kids” or something like that.