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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

#1 Way to Build Confidence

In my opinion it is the only way to build confidence -- do that which you are most afraid of. Until you do it, the fear holds power over you. Plain and simple.

Of course you can break it down into baby steps if that feels better for you. It all results in the same -- take action on your fear so you can see there is nothing to be afraid of.

If you are afraid of public speaking yet you know it is something you desire to do to get your message out to the world start with a program like Toastmasters so you can take action in a safe environment.

If you are afraid of asking someone on a date yet you really want to have that connection with someone start by asking friends out who you have no desire to get romantic with. Set a target for yourself -- for example you will ask 3 friends on “dates” and the 4th person will be someone you desire a romantic connection with.

If you are afraid of asking for a raise yet you know it is the only way to receive one start by asking your boss for other things - like a day off, a new computer/equipment, etc. Just the energy of asking will build your confidence to ask for the raise.

If you are afraid of going on TV yet know the importance of it you can go on a roller coaster. I know it doesn’t make much sense. What does a roller coaster and TV have to do with each other? Nothing. Everything. I have been in my business for 10 years and have had to push myself outside my comfort zone more times then I can count. Going on TV will be another one of those times. This time I am choosing to do it differently. I am choosing to do it from the place of total and absolute awareness and FUN. Most of the other times when I did something outside my comfort zone I disconnected, went through the motions and “woke up” on the other side. I allowed the fear to over take me and just pushed through it. On one hand I am grateful to have been able to get through those experiences, on the other hand it would have been so much more beautiful, amazing and joyful had I been totally present while doing them.

This brings me back to the roller coaster. As a child I enjoyed rides and a friend and I would spend weekends at the West Edmonton park going on them over and over and over. As I got older (but not old!) my desire to go on rides changed. I would still do a couple of my favorites and never once, not even as a child, would I go on a roller coaster.

Hubby came home one day declaring his desire to do the new roller coaster at West Edmonton park. I thought he was joking because he doesn’t like rides either. He wasn’t. The next chance we had we headed to Edmonton. He fully expected me to back out, as I did him. Once he bought the tickets I knew we were going for sure. Yikes!

Standing in line was very difficult. It was about a 20 minute wait as all the rides had to shut down for a routine fire alarm. It was perfect though in the sense that I was able to remind myself to stay present. I worked with Creator and my Divine Energetic Team to help me. I couldn’t disconnect and rush through it. I had to stand still and breath. Then it came our turn to get in the car. No turning back now. The minute it started going I could feel myself attempting to check out. I brought myself back to the present. Then we went up a very steep incline and, since everything that goes up must come down, I knew the next part would be tough. It was. I checked out for a few minutes. Couldn’t, or wouldn’t, open my eyes. It was terrifying. Then we slowed down for a bit. I came back to the present. And off we went again, and so did I. I went back and forth from present to checked out. I was so grateful when the ride ended. Hubby and I laughed at ourselves, well, mostly me because I screamed pretty much the whole time.

I walked away from there knowing that I have taken another step towards building my confidence. That when I go on TV on April 26 I have a much better chance of doing it from awareness and fun then disconnection.

What is one thing you can do today to build your confidence? What are you waiting for?

In my opinion it is the only way to build confidence -- do that which you are most afraid of. Until you do it, the fear holds power over you. Plain and simple.

Of course you can break it down into baby steps if that feels better for you. It all results in the same -- take action on your fear so you can see there is nothing to be afraid of.

If you are afraid of public speaking yet you know it is something you desire to do to get your message out to the world start with a program like Toastmasters so you can take action in a safe environment.

If you are afraid of asking someone on a date yet you really want to have that connection with someone start by asking friends out who you have no desire to get romantic with. Set a target for yourself -- for example you will ask 3 friends on “dates” and the 4th person will be someone you desire a romantic connection with.

If you are afraid of asking for a raise yet you know it is the only way to receive one start by asking your boss for other things - like a day off, a new computer/equipment, etc. Just the energy of asking will build your confidence to ask for the raise.

If you are afraid of going on TV yet know the importance of it you can go on a roller coaster. I know it doesn’t make much sense. What does a roller coaster and TV have to do with each other? Nothing. Everything. I have been in my business for 10 years and have had to push myself outside my comfort zone more times then I can count. Going on TV will be another one of those times. This time I am choosing to do it differently. I am choosing to do it from the place of total and absolute awareness and FUN. Most of the other times when I did something outside my comfort zone I disconnected, went through the motions and “woke up” on the other side. I allowed the fear to over take me and just pushed through it. On one hand I am grateful to have been able to get through those experiences, on the other hand it would have been so much more beautiful, amazing and joyful had I been totally present while doing them.

This brings me back to the roller coaster. As a child I enjoyed rides and a friend and I would spend weekends at the West Edmonton park going on them over and over and over. As I got older (but not old!) my desire to go on rides changed. I would still do a couple of my favorites and never once, not even as a child, would I go on a roller coaster.

Hubby came home one day declaring his desire to do the new roller coaster at West Edmonton park. I thought he was joking because he doesn’t like rides either. He wasn’t. The next chance we had we headed to Edmonton. He fully expected me to back out, as I did him. Once he bought the tickets I knew we were going for sure. Yikes!

Standing in line was very difficult. It was about a 20 minute wait as all the rides had to shut down for a routine fire alarm. It was perfect though in the sense that I was able to remind myself to stay present. I worked with Creator and my Divine Energetic Team to help me. I couldn’t disconnect and rush through it. I had to stand still and breath. Then it came our turn to get in the car. No turning back now. The minute it started going I could feel myself attempting to check out. I brought myself back to the present. Then we went up a very steep incline and, since everything that goes up must come down, I knew the next part would be tough. It was. I checked out for a few minutes. Couldn’t, or wouldn’t, open my eyes. It was terrifying. Then we slowed down for a bit. I came back to the present. And off we went again, and so did I. I went back and forth from present to checked out. I was so grateful when the ride ended. Hubby and I laughed at ourselves, well, mostly me because I screamed pretty much the whole time.

I walked away from there knowing that I have taken another step towards building my confidence. That when I go on TV on April 26 I have a much better chance of doing it from awareness and fun then disconnection.

What is one thing you can do today to build your confidence? What are you waiting for?