A lesson here in the allocation of runs, surely. In England’s opening match against a Western Australia XI, Joe Root wisely restricted himself to nine, while that master of Australian conditions, Alastair Cook, hung around for all of two balls. Everyone else frittered away runs, meaning they are no longer “due”.

Mark Stoneman, James Vince, Dawid Malan and Gary Ballance all made fifties. Jonny Bairstow and Chris Woakes surged into double figures and remain undefeated with ne’er a thought for the Tests to come.

At least Moeen Ali has saved some runs through injury. At least we can cling to that.

4 Appeals

“Cook”, verb, to prepare food by a range of methods, from flash frying, done in three minutes, to fritters and the more common slow pressure method that goes on for hours and produces a satisfying result.