Held Accountable (Grey)

I am a boy mom and I absolutely despise the phrase boys will be boys. I have had a lot of blowback from this one, people asserting that it is just a harmless phrase and that society is launching a war on boys. On the contrary, I think the phrase detracts from all of the wonderful abilities of our sons. I think this Washington Post article describes my feelings perfectly.

"My son has always been big for his age, and would often stand a full head taller than the other children in his various activities. He was built like a linebacker, but had always been a gentle giant. Until out of nowhere, my sweet boy started pushing other children at the playground, hip-checking his classmates to get to the front of the line, and lashing out violently at the slightest provocation. I couldn’t understand what had changed.

Was it his reaction to his new baby brother?

An unfortunate phase he was going through?

Rabies?

I had no idea, which also meant I had no idea how to fix the problem.

Boys will be boys.

These mollifying words would make things simpler, wouldn’t they? It would no longer be my responsibility to change his behavior; it’s just his Y chromosome acting up. The temptation to place the blame on his gender and wash my hands of any guilt or culpability was overwhelming.

Boys will be boys.

And walk away.

But I didn’t. I refused to accept that my son would always have a violent streak simply because he was a boy. Why was I bothering to parent him if his behavior was predetermined at birth? No, there was another reason for his actions, and I was desperate to find it.

I watched him closely over the next few weeks and noticed that he only reacted aggressively to children who invaded his personal space: children who crowded him in line, reached across him to grab a toy, or artfully dodged him at the last minute. He flinched every time like they were tiny fireballs waiting to burn him. Then he’d push, but not out of malice. It wasn’t just boys being boys. He was panicking, but didn’t know how to find the words to tell anyone. He felt powerless and was resorting to his physical dominance to regain balance.

It broke my heart to think that I was so close to dismissing his pain and confusion as his male weakness and moving on, leaving him to fend for himself."

Garment details and fit:

Each tee is screen printed by hand on Kavio short sleeve jersey tees. These tees are cozy, comfortable and your little one will be ready to change the world in their new favorite tee. We find that these tees run true to size but whenever in doubt we suggest sizing up for longer wear. Tees are a modern, slim fit and are made with a super soft ring-spun combed cotton blend ( Jersey 30/1, 60% cotton 40% polyester).

Care Instructions:

Turn garment inside out and machine wash with cold water, no bleach, and tumble dry low. If iron is needed be sure to to turn shirt inside out prior to ironing.

Garment is not intended for sleep wear.

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