Weekly Newspaper for Ward County

OPINION

Mar. 27, 1997

Monahan's Well

I am not terrified of the United States government, assorted Asian
contributors to the Democratic National Committee, Jerry Jones, the
CIA, whatever passes for the KGB these days, Latin American dope
smugglers, big dogs, roaches, rattlesnakes, femnazis, anti-tobacco
fanatics (who by the by have mastered the technique of The Big Lie so
well Adolph Hitler would be proud of them), the Internal Revenue Service
(You can be absolutely fearless when it comes to the IRS if your income
is small enough) or the old, decrepit, moldering British Empire.

But I am terrified about what I am about to do because I am afraid of my
little sister. To set this more or less straight, I also would be
terrified of my mother who, like my sister, is a lifelong Democrat and
Methodist until she dies, which she can't help anymore than the Earth
can help its swirling orbit around the Sun. God made the Earth that way.
God made my mother that way and he made my sister that way - Democrats
and Methodists until the end of time. But my sister is a little more
intense than my mother, who is perhaps as pro-Methodist and pro-Democrat
as my little sister but who is not likely to throw things, most times.
So it is my sister that scares me in this instance.

Because I am going to tell you that it is time that a President of the
United States be impeached (I prefer the more common legal expression,
indictment) for high crimes and misdemeanors by the U.S. House of
Representatives. Then this president should be tried in the U.S. Senate.

I know he is guilty but I am willing to let the "innocent until proven
guilty" canard reign until after the trial in the Senate.

The reason I am afraid of my little sister is that the president to whom
I refer is a Democrat. I only hope he is not a Methodist. Because if he
is, I am in more trouble than I can imagine.

This president who would better serve the people from a federal prison
cell is Bill Clinton. In this federal prison cell, he might have a
reunion with some of his associates; a former governor of Arkansas comes
to mind as does the McDougall (with two 'Ls") Clan. They're there
because of some unpleasantness over financial fraud in which Bill and
spouse Hillary sometimes are alleged to have had a small part.

But I do not now call for the impeachment of Bill Clinton because of the
aforementioned Whitewater Scandal which makes Watergate and Teapot Dome
look like separate episodes of Sesame Street. I do not call for the
impeachment of Bill Clinton because of a continuing cyclone of rumor and
innuendo about real or imagined, more or less generally amoral (I use
the word amoral because immoral indicates morality might have been
involved) peccadilloes. I do not call for Bill Clinton's impeachment
because he came up with a so-called national health care plan that would
have been Christmas in July for the nation's health insurance companies.
That is the reason I did not vote for Bill Clinton for reelection. I
actually worked for Clinton's election the first time out. I was stupid.
I know that now.

I call for Bill Clinton's impeachment because he has broken the law.

Which law, you might ask.

There is one law that says thou shalt not gather political contributions
from government offices. That's one of the laws. If you're a low level
federal or state bureaucrat and you do this, you're lucky if you're not
lynched for your own good by Clinton himself.

Another law that comes to mind involves treason.

Treason, I am told, is an impeachable offense. In the old days, it
bought you a firing squad. Treason is giving aid and comfort to a
foreign power. Treason is giving a U.S. Naval base in Long Beach,
Calif., to a foreign government. Treason is doing this for money, say in
contributions to the political party of your choice. No one yet knows
how much money. There has not been a foreign government base (and we
don't count embassy and consular property) in this nation since we
kicked out the Brits. Now it sure looks like we're going to have one and
it didn't take a war.

So I apologize to my little sister.

But Bill Clinton needs to be in the dock.

He needs to answer these charges before the tribunal of the Senate.
He needs to respond to the American people, even those who voted for him
for reelection. They especially need to know about high crimes and
misdemeanors.