Category: money and happiness

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!It’s time for thematic sweaters, egg nog, and the joy of finally giving that perfect gift you’ve had tucked away for three months!It’s also time for holiday card-triggered feelings of inadequacy, credit card debt, and never-ending sugar crashes.

s we head deeper into the holiday season, I wanted remind all of us (myself very much included) of these seven holiday truths.

“Minimalist gift ideas, Sarah? Like a single leaf in a vase? Or one drapey linen shirt? Har har har.”

I can already hear the good-natured eye-rolling, friends. And let me tell you with all the love in my heart I AM NOT HAVING IT.

When I say ‘minimalist gifts’ I’m not saying you spite-give everyone a copy of The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up. I’m not suggesting you give your sister a single polished stone (though honestly that would be so funny.)

To me, a ‘minimalist gift’ is something that

Can be used up

Recycled or composted

Doesn’t require storage or dusting

Minimalist gifts don’t require us to lecture anyone about Consumerism! And Carbon footprints! And Fast Fashion!

I’m not talking about giving people things we WISH they wanted. (No matter how nice the sleeping bag is, I’m never going to like camping, guys.)

Honestly, you could probably give a minimalist gift to every blessed person on your list! No matter who you’re giving gifts to, there’s probably a way for you to give them something happy-making and life-improving that’s not for sale at Target and won’t end up in a landfill.

I’m at a dinner party, sitting between two very nice people I just met.

The man to my left is a financial planner and the woman to my right is asking him about retirement, investments, etc.

“I mean, I know I’ve got to get it together,” she nods over pasta. “I know I should be maxing out my 401k and all that. I probably wouldn’t need help with my retirement if I’d just unsubscribe from the J. Crew newsletter.” She laughs self-consciously and takes a sip of red wine.

“I’d be happy to help,” Financial Planner Man says, and smoothly hands over his business card.

Reader, it was all I could do not to slap that card out of his hand and yell “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP HER YOU’RE TREATING SYMPTOMS NOT THE CAUSE!!!”

But, uh, that’s not polite dinner party behavior?

A bit of real talk: 99% of the money advice starts in the wrong place.

It treats a symptom (living with debt, spending too much) without addressing the cause (buying things to keep up with our friends, shopping when we’re tired/overwhelmed.)

Here’s the truth:

You’re not going to have any money to invest if you keep shopping instead of feeling your feelings.

You won’t have any money for the down payment on a house if you keep buying shit you don’t really like because you don’t understand what ACTUALLY makes you happy.

You won’t be able to open your bank account and feel calm + proud if you don’t understand which purchases bring you joy and which ones bring you regret.

If we don’t understand what makes us happy + why we spend the way we do, a budget is just moving numbers around on a page.

Put Your Money Where Your Happy Isaddresses allllll this. We get to the root of what makes you happy, see if it’s actually reflected in your spending, and if it’s not, I teach you how to change that.

Without deprivation, shame, guilt, or cutting the cable.

Of course, I’d love it if you joined us inside PYMWYHI, but even if you don’t I hope you remember this:

I’m trundling through Target on a Thursday night, my list in one hand, coffee in the other. I’m making my way towards the cat food when I see it: The 50% off end cap. Gold staplers! Scented candles! A bunch of throw pillows that don’t match the colors of my living room but whatever!Since it’s on sale I need it, right? I’m ‘saving money’ if I buy this throw pillow that’s been marked down from $20, right? I tuck two throw pillows and a cake-scented candle into my cart. I don’t actually like cake-scented things and I don’t need throw pillows but that’s beside the point! I’M BEING A SMART SHOPPER OKAY???I push my cart in the direction of the cat food and sort of shake myself awake. What in god’s green earth am I doing? Why am I buying a bunch of shit I don’t need or even really like?

I’m not saving money by buying things on sale. I’m spending money on things I don’t need and won’t add anything to my life. They will, however, deplete my bank account.

I know you know this but it bears repeating:

We're not saving money when we buy things we don't need that happen to be on sale. Click To Tweet15 years ago, I wouldn’t have stopped and put them back. 15 years ago, I would have bought those things and brought them home. And in two weeks I would have looked at them and thought “What was I thinking?!”I would have looked at my bank account statement and wondered “Where does it all go?!”But I don’t do that any more! Now I (mostly) only buy things I love and when I look at my bank account I feel proud and calm.

If you’d like to stop buying things you don’t need + feel good about your bank statement, you might be interested in my free, video mini-course

We’re slowly tipping towards the end of the year. It’s a season for gratitude, gathering with loved ones, and sharing the bounty of the year.

It’s also the season for:

passive-aggressive relatives questioning your life choices

spending a million dollars on presents

feeling like you need to buy a bigger tree, give nicer gifts, or send holiday cards

comparing our lives to what we see in the holiday letters and photos we receive

Funnnn! Who doesn’t love justifying their decision to go back to school, quit that job, or keep driving the old car over the Thanksgiving table? Who doesn’t enjoy looking at their credit card statement on December 27th and breaking into a cold sweat?

Nobody. Nobody enjoys those things.

Friends, if there was ever a time to get your money + happiness in order it’s now. The holiday season is – hands down! – the most expensive, most stressful time of the year.

It’s a rainy Tuesday night and I’ve successfully convinced my friend that grocery shopping counts as a “friend date” and we’re poking through the aisles of Super Target.

I’m weirdly excited to grocery shop with said friend because she always brings the best, most impressive dishes to parties. MAYBE SHE’LL BE THE ONE WHO FINALLY HELPS ME FIGURE OUT CHEESE FONDUE.

We turn down the tv dinner aisle and my friend – my loves-to-cook, Julia-Child-esque friend – shovels 654 Lean Cuisines into her cart. “It seems ridiculous make a real meal when it’s just me, you know?” she shrugs. I nod but I don’t really get it. Is she saying that she doesn’t deserve the same sort of lovely meals she makes and shares with her friends? Later, on my drive home, I think of all the places I’ve heard something like this before. I think of the friend who moved to a new city for a one-year academic program. She isn’t bothering to make friends because she “isn’t going to be around that long.” Another friend signed a six-month lease while she house hunts. She’s usually very stylish and decor-conscious, but she’s living out of boxes. Her framed art is still on the floor because she’s “just going to move soon.” We can all see the common denominator here, right? Putting off or avoiding happy-making, life-improving things because they’re an inconvenience?Friends, a bit of real talk:There is no ‘perfect time’ to do things that make you happy or improve your life. Click To TweetIf we want to find them, there will always be excuses for why we don’t need to treat ourselves with the same thought and consideration that we treat others. And honestly? SOMETIMES HAPPINESS IS A TOTAL HASSLE.

Making friends in a new city is vulnerable and weird (here’s how to make friends as an adult). Cooking An Actual Meal is a lot harder than heating up a Lean Cuisine. Making your living space lovely requires time and thought.It’s so much easier to convince ourselves that we’re too busy or we don’t really care. It’s easier to convince ourselves that the inconvenient, happy-making thing won’t really make that much of a difference.

I’m here to tell you a) that’s rubbishb) it’s possible to make happiness easierc) you deserve to feel happy now, not some imaginary time in the future when the stars align

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