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I like your unexpected twist in our conversations, – I wrote once to a guy who after 12 lines about safe topics hit me with the last sentence: tell me about your orgasms.. It took me aback. And made my mind work again and more intense after I got my breath back.

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I am on business trip. Regular night out with bosses and colleagues after the day of meetings in the office. Wandering in the green park of megalopolis talking all the way long is refreshing. Relaxing. Great company. No single word about our day life issues. No office topics. Just some gossips. I will not tell you anything what we did, what food we consumed, what and how much we drank, what topics we covered, what jokes we played, what compliments I received. How drunk I was and how much I was laughing. I don’t want to make you jealous. It’s not about that. After 15 years of love and hate affair with the corporation I will be totally free in a month! Hello the world!

All my bosses were men and they were brainy, handsome (most of them) and asexual. To my eyes. And yesterday I had a chat with my boss who is ten years younger and once admitted he has a thing for older women. His wife is older a bit, I knew few stories from his before-marriage relationships, I know a lot about his children raising challenges. We talk a bit dirty when smoking or dining out, but at the same time we keep a distance personally. Physically. Both of us. He is cute, our work relationship is great and private one is equally superb. In a month he will not be my boss anymore, and his label in my mind will drop down “a” from his asexual image. But the rest I hope will remain the same. I want that and need that.

His 78-year-old grandmother says she is living the best time now. Her husband passed away more than ten years ago, grandchildren are very much grown up and she is embracing her late years with joy and passion. It’s not very common in our part of the world… I would love my mother was like she. So this Lady plays bridge online and kicks away daters who talk too much about their illnesses and are boring in other areas of communication. She prefers to talk about health. She recently said ” Girls who are 40 and can’t find a man to have fun are just lazy”. She has two suitors – one in Italy and another local. Intense Italian language courses, guy’s presents for Xmas and Easter and now she is ready to pay a visit…It makes me selfishly happy thinking about this Lady. I most probably have a bright future. —-My future lover, my dear present online or offline friend, whoever I don’t know yet, I will not ask you about your other woman, your other conversations, your other hugs and kisses and sex. (I can ask about it my asexual former or future boss, if we are mentally compatible.) I will not ask. Not because being open is dangerous. Not because being non exclusive hurts. Not because I don’t want to know about you more to understand you better. Or completely. Or enough. I will not ask you, my future lover, my online or offline friend. Because being too open makes us partners. In chat, in crime, in conversation, in future. Being open leads us to understanding and friendship. I have enough sex with friends. I fed up with it. I want love. I want passion. I want to be vulnerable, unstable, mind-blown. I want to be on the edge and go with the flow feeling the absence of common sense and over-controlling mind.

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Yesterday, during dinner my boss said (with all colleagues present) : ” My grandmother had beautiful blue nightgown – I remember it since I was a kid. I always wanted to grow up and marry my grandma. She is The Woman of my life. I adore her. You are the second one. I learned so much from you, I like you so much, I simply adore you”. It’s good he said that now, not 10 years before.

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I am a Mac person. It started 14 years ago because of company rules for editorial departments and then I get used to and still have fun.
The worst battles are caused by religion or beliefs; they have no rationality behind them. I would rather listen in silence to the arguments of Nikon/Canon or iPhone/ Samsung, x/y users, but never sell any crap to anyone myself.