Asking is not praying and a harvest is not always bountiful. You may sometimes ask for help but you should always pray for it.

Mark 4:3-9 Some seed sown is eaten, Some seed sown without depth and had no roots. Some seed sown and choked immediately and did not yield. Some seed sown good and produced. The parable does not say that sowing with wild abandon resulted in fruit coming up all around. Great harvests are due to great care in the sowing and great production from good soil. There is always a harvest but the harvest is not always good. From a good harvest, one only prospers in fruit. From a poor harvest, one might prosper in knowledge…Missioners can be found in the halls of Congress or sacrificing in a crisis and more, each and all a heritage.

— Many have Labored Before Us

A mission of healing, preaching, and announcing the reign…A wooden box can be many things, or it can be just a box. It can hold books that instruct. It can be a bookshelf, a piece of furniture. It can be a coffin for the laborer returning from the final harvest…be a sower of seeds…in a variety of places and in all kinds of soil…

Jackson Kemper – first missionary bishop to go West. One man can build a college, seminary, outreach, and inspire…are we doing at the present moment even one tenth part of what we are capable?…Many owe birth and life to the missionary spirit.

Julia Chester Emery – A Century of Endeavor – a chronicle of the great missionary age…provide hospitality…faithfully care for the infirm…coordinate and encourage…the first foreign field of the Episcopal Church, the strange new land of Texas…those whose hearts burned for mission and whose giving under-girded the proclamation.

James Theodore Holly – the first African-American bishop…serving in the new Diocese of Haiti…freed slave…namesake…a dispute about ordaining local black clergy…as the last surviving apostle of Jesus was in tribulation on the forlorn isle of Patmos…to free before emancipation, to bring a better life before they could achieve it themselves.

Lillian Trasher – she canceled her wedding, sure that God had called her to serve…Acts 7:34…send thee to Egypt…pray for a life that reflects the light.

— Called to be Missionaries – caring for abandoned and malnourished…reconcile love with the world in word and in action…Lucien Lee Kinsolving…help others to find respite…accumulated masses of debris were visible on every hand…remaking and reshaping and re-imagining.

— Generous Evangelism – mission is creative and energetic, adventurous and inspirational, and it is inevitable… I am a better person because now I know that my value is not based on the world’s calculations…Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, Malcolm Gladwell…faith we would inherit…a few people making little changes will happen steadily, organically, and exponentially through generous evangelism…movements are more like an epidemic than an economy of scale…renewing, restarting, renovating.

— Taking the Message on the Road – Gospel news…makes a lasting difference…we have each had resurrection moments, and thanks to our own personal evangelists, we could understand just what was happening…The only way the tipping point occurs…is through us…people in pews with private, polite, personal Jesus…seekers can smell inauthenticity a mile away…The harvest is outside…Matthew 23:37…The world needs a vital, living missionary organism.

— Unabashedly Episcopalian – How will we know…? We will know we are making progress when evangelism…and caring for others become the hallmarks of the Episcopal Church once again…We will know we have turned a corner when our leadership…is more diverse ethnically…the only way we find is to walk outside…even while we look it may cease to be an unfinished vision by becoming transformed into a consummate reality.

The old man watched the others fade away. His parents who put gratitude before self. The civilized who put civility before righteousness. The modest and meek who expected nothing from others and usually got exactly that. It was the time of the New Rude but wasn’t restricted to age or upbringing or species. It was simply a new time when each one looked out for oneself. Those who held to the old ways were fewer and being used up faster. Civilization was dependent on their survival and the one sure thing was that they would not survive the invasion of the New Rude.

Walkel took in everyone, leaving no one out. The big bear that always interpolated everything that the old man said to be the most idiotic person. It wasn’t the bear’s fault. The behemoth had only half a brain, he claimed, because of a hunting accident. Then there was the loon. Can’t walk on land but must run on water into the wind in order to take off and fly. Yes, a problem child. But the old man fed and protected the bird like it was his own child. Tolerating incessant ridicule, with little compensation, among the tenants of this man’s cabin, the loon was the least aware of services rendered. Finally, there were the ever wet beavers with their crude construction skills and ever eager appetite. Each was a cross to bear but the kind old soul held hope in the face indicators pointing in the opposite direction.

I became involved with St. Isidore after seeing a Meetup.Com session titled Pub Theology, subtitled Important Questions, Good Conversation, Great Beer. I attended enthusiastically that Tuesday night, more than a year ago. The experience evolved into me becoming one of Pub Theology’s most loyal disciples. I became more involved when invited to a house church meeting sponsored by St. Isidore. I attended, only curiously, that Sunday afternoon a few months ago. I left uninspired but still curious. I volunteered for St. Isidore’s Laundry Love outreach after that house church meeting. It inspired me to see a church in action and the poor being served. I started to believe in the spirit – of what they were doing. But it wasn’t until they came to me when I was in need that my curiosity became convinced and I evolved into a believer in the St. Isidore vision.

All of these programs were initiated by the young priest Sean. He went into this endeavor with eyes wide open. A millennial decorated with tattoos, experience in the corporate world, a foul mouth and bubbling with enthusiasm, he approached the new millennium with old style worship. Commune together. Provide for others. Make religion enjoyable for those who have forsaken it. Putting diverse age groups together for questions and conversation would have some of the same problems as putting family members together for talks. Bringing strangers into a lay person’s home for bible study would include the intensely religious, the loosely affiliated and the outright atheist. Outreach to the poor would help many, could be taken advantage of and might cause unexpected results when laundry money is being dispensed in a crowd of poor and unknown persons.

I wish to write of my experiences with St. Isidore’s different missions. One of these is the House Church. Following is some research and review on that subject.

Wikipedia “House church”

A house church describes a group of Christians who meet in a private home which may be part of a larger Christian body or independent from any larger group. Sometimes the reason for a house church has to do with its small membership while other times it has to do with Christians being banned from meeting in any venue (as is the case in China). Some Christian groups believe that house churches are a better form of outreach and still others contend it was what Christ intended. The New Testament speaks often of house churches, which were the only option for 300 years until Christianity was legalized by Constantine.

The modern revival of the House Church in North America and the United Kingdom can be traced, in part, to the feeling by many unfulfilled church goers that traditional churches fail to meet their relational needs. Some supporters of the movement consider House Church a misnomer, preferring other monikers which better describe its function rather than its location, such as “simple church,” “relational church,” “primitive church,” “body life,” “organic church” or “biblical church.” For example, organic church expresses that the group takes on the pattern of a living organism. Though the origins are varied, one philosophy is: …if people would not come to church, the church must go to the people.

Sometimes, traditional churches must cut mission funding to support the cost of fixed church expenses for buildings and salaries. House churches can have more money for missions, less pressure to fill pews, and do not resemble the mega-church which can become a big monster which eats everything that is given and can be given and still constantly asks for more.

SteveBremner.Com: 5 Things the House Church Movement is Getting Wrong

Steve Bremner wrote 5 Thing the House Church Movement is Getting Right – which I am not evaluating. I feel that the Wikipedia coverage sufficiently addresses many of the points addressed by Bremner’s positive piece. I am curious about his counter point so I address it here without first reading the first article.

Generally, Bremner says that the House Church Movement is like other prior movements intended to address the faults of the institutional church but over compensates to correct the institutional errors such as pastor, pews, programs, buildings, indifference, hierarchy, etc. He lists the 5 faults in no particular order as:

Meeting in houses does not necessarily solve the problem that being institutional allegedly creates. Bremner states that neither location or size is inherently spiritual. However, from my point of view, a home is in actuality personal, private, and welcoming much more immediately than a big building and possibly a long journey. I feel this point is moot, using the modern meaning of the word.

Inward focused. Again, Bremner uses the term inherent, as in members feel that they are inherently different because they are meeting in a house. Also, some members feel that a house church can become just another social meeting place which abandons its initial objectives. These things probably are true in some cases but they are surely true in institutional churches. So I’ll use Bremner’s term to say that just because it’s a house church does not mean that it will inherently become a social club without any outreach.

Not making disciples. Bremner here avoids using the term inherently by substituting ipso de facto, nice. He somehow states that member to not become disciples via osmosis, duh. Certainly, any church, large or small, must have content, intent, and extant meaning. This makes 3 for 3 on his non-point points.

Not Evangelizing. Again, I think Bremner is missing the point. Most non-believers are turned off by overt evangelizing. However, most people of all stripes find evangelizing by example irresistible. Once one sees another walking the walk, living and acting in full compliance to the word, there is little to find fault.

Arrogance of ‘doing church the Biblical way’. Bremner writes of an admittedly extreme case where the house church movement led to prohibition from associating with institutional churches and isolation of the individual house church congregation. He is describing cult mentality and the warning and need to avoid such a consequence goes without saying.

This counterpoint article did not add much to my understanding of the house church movement in terms of “don’t” other than pointing out some obvious, obscure, and moot points. Glad I evaluated it though!

Reviewing the two articles, Wikipedia’s “House Church” and Steve Bremner’s “5 Things the House Church Movement is Getting Wrong” might seem tedious, so I’m going to attempt this by taking my talking points from a third article from TheHumanist.Com, titled “This Sacrilegious House of Cards Scene Even Shocked Some Atheists” by Maggie Andriente. Specifically, the article is written about a Season 3 episode prefaced by such terms as “deliciously obscene”, “binge-watching a sport” and referencing a prior episode scene where Frank Underwood urinates on his father’s grave which she understatedly supposes would be offensive – at least to religious conservatives. So, let’s get going.

Season 3, episode 4, Frank converses with a Bishop about the fire-and-brimstone of God in the Old Testament but the Bishop’s response disappoints him. Unconvinced, Frank walks to the alter and, standing before a statue of Jesus, spits in Jesus face. This scene improbably led to the religious right to wonder why Hollywood wasn’t equally offending other religions. How does this relate to either of the two prior articles? Well, the call for equal offensiveness against other religions would seem to be a contrary position to take for a group whose necessity to meet in private houses during Christianity’s birth years was a result of persecution. Also, attracting others, whether it be to a house church or institution, can not be served by seeking retribution towards other religions because they are different or individuals because they spit in the face of a un-offended statute.

A conservative actor then leaps from his Hollywood spitting in Jesus face to the left pissing on Christianity as a whole. Wow. Let’s see if we can find leaps like this in Herr Bremner’s 5 Faults. Maybe Bremner’s point 3 applies here. Bremner states that members of a house church can’t become disciples through osmosis. That leap presupposes that disciples can’t be produced outside the house church. The whole reason for house church is that institutional religion is not working. Discipleship must be activated by use of a new serum – good old contact and content. Don’t leave conversion up to the congregant, make it a part of the congregation continuing discipleship.

The best point made in this article is: …respecting sacred space and accepting such space as sacred are two different things. The house church like institutional chapels or cemeteries deserve respect, silence, and reverence, no matter the religion or lack of it. Yes, house churches should not become social clubs or cultish extremes and the few that develop are not representative or likely to subsist. To base criticism or things that might happen or did happen in the media are not reasons to discount a movement that attempts to reverse the trend of people turning away belief in something greater than them and towards something less likely to satisfy their eternal needs.

I am an old resolved man in a new irresolute world. I can’t accept that I am passe, yet I must. I loath the the new rude, still I have no choice but to embrace them. My accommodation of youth’s rampant avarice seems endless and empty, but it is the only tool I have in my meager chest. Survival in a social world that does not respect prior generations, let alone value the accumulated wisdom acquired through time honored failures. It is with these impressions that I endeavor to write about elements of The Generation Gap.

The Joseph E. Stiglitz’ article in Project Syndicate, titled The New Generation Gap, examines some of the reasons for the Gap. Nobel laureate Stiglitz sees voting patterns on both sides of the Atlantic divided less by income, education, and gender and more by generation. The chasm dividing the old and young is the difference between their accumulated past and their narrowing future. To the old, the Cold War and failed social experiments are realities alive in their memory. To the young, the Cold War is a stale slice of history and the failures of the past are moldy mounds of ancient lessons learned in spreading a green patina over a second look, and with no reigning reason to discount, let alone rebuke. Socialism’s concern for all collections of people on this earth and ecology’s care for the each of earth’s species in their environment resonates with a great many individuals, if with only a few world leaders.

The older generation expected to be better off than their parents and even to take care of those aging parents. The new generation expects to be better off with their parents and even to be taken care of by their aging parents. Today’s young do not ponder which job to take but which job will take them. They do not project how soon their job will allow them to buy a house but, rather, if it will afford them enough income to “game on” after making their student loan payments. Retirement to the young is an obscure almost mythical land which always frightens the old – and for different reasons. While the upper-middle class young may have inheritance as the only glow in their future, it is a dependence they probably resent, albeit a future immensely greater than the young middle and under-class majority with no inherent future.

So many did everything right (obey, study, listen), then watchedd those Baby-boomers and Gen-Xers, guilty of wrong-doing, walk away with mega-bonuses. The high percentage of those who excelled in school see promises of prosperity come true – but only for the top 1%. Injustice, inequalities, and distrust define our times to the young. In Europe, center-left and center-right parties are seen as “more of the same” – and the centers are losing elections! While in America, Republican candidates compete on demagoguery, directed at the aging generations; and Democratic candidates propose changes that could make a real difference for the younger generations, but can not get those ideals through congress. Democratic candidates’ proposals would prevent the financial system from preying on the already precarious young, as an example. Home ownership, retirement, and good paying jobs are out of reach objects for the the young – and they aren’t getting any closer. Recognition by the older generation is part of the problem. And part of the anger.

I found Mr. Stiglitz article informative without being comprehensive or convincing because he seemed to be reflecting his own opinions and not those of the young generations he spoke for and about. I would have liked to see more direct input from the Millennial constituency and a more balanced bite-back of those who are accused of holding the young ones in check. This subject is ever changing and evolving. About the time the definition of a generation is starting to firm up – when it gets its name! – a new generation with a new identity has been delivered and the examination and dissection starts up again.

Quotations about the Generations:

GenX

For women, the sting of early-onset ageism hits hardest—men don’t seem to have a shelf life on relevance. Is there a shelf life of relevance for women? Is this an idea relevant only to Gen X? Men do have a shelf life and it’s usually around the house, they do less, want more and are much too ungrateful.

Generation X—typically defined as those born between 1964 and 1980— I’m sensitive to stereotypes that we’re somehow tired and already “over” as we hit midlife. Are Gen Xers over the hill or on top of it? Are Gen Xers already at the bottom of the hill and heading underground?

Xers (Gen X = the “13th generation”) are the people who will tear/are tearing down the entrenched institutions of the Boomers (born 1946 and 1964), while the Millennials (a person reaching young adulthood around the year 2000) will be the ones to rebuild from the rubble and return order to the resulting chaos. Are Boomers getting too much credit for the future debt crisis? Are Xers in the trenches tearing down foundations fast enough to resuscitate the slowly suffocating earth? Shouldn’t Millennials build something new instead of rebuilding from generational rubble?

Millenials

Leslie Anne Tarabella, mother of a 25 year-old ~ Attention everyone; in case you didn’t already know, we are no longer dealing with the greatest generation. Are millenials not as smart or just as smart but in different things? Should one’s expectations of different generations be modified? Dropped? Maintained? Are there indications that Millennials will eventually become a Greater Generation?

Traditionalists

2nd Lt. John R. Pedevillano, age 93, WWII veteran and POW ~ There were 16 million other people in the service. They’d done just as much as I did and deserved everything I’ve gotten. What word describes this man’s sentiment? He says he got what others deserved. Does he feel humbled, ashamed or blessed? How do you feel after reading this?

The New Rude
Do you forget to RSVP? Or accept knowing you won’t turn up? How about cancelling with a two-word text? You could be from any generation but if you are guilty of the above, you are a member of The New Rude Generation.

Acts Chapter 2.47 Praising God and winning the approval of all the people. Day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.

Acts Chapter 3

Cure of the Cripple

1 three o’clock

2 “the beautiful”

3 alms

4 fixed gaze

5 whole attention

6 Peter said: “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.

7 the beggar’s feet and ankles became strong

8 walking, jumping about and praising

9 when the people saw him

10 sit at the Beautiful Gate

Peter’s Discourse

15 You put to death the author of life

17 I know that you acted out of your

22 …raise up…a prophet…from among your own kinsmen…

26 God sent his servant to bless you by turning you from your evil ways.

Chapter 4.9 If we must answer today for a good deed done to a cripple and explain how he was restored to health, then you and all the people of Israel must realize that it was done in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean…

When there is a father figure showing the way, one can be productive.

Short term gimmicks can lead to productivity that appears miraculous.

You have to catch fish in order to learn how to fish.

In time gimmicks need to be retired.

One has to feel productive before becoming productive.

It doesn’t matter how much or how many but how and how well?

At the end of every day …our…actions speak louder than our…promises.

It Matters How You Live

The Rich feast sumptuously while the poor get sores.

Those who received good things will be in agony in hell. Those who received evil things will receive comfort far away. No one can cross from hell to here.

If those receiving good things will not listen to the living they will not listen to those rising from the dead.

Luke 15:32 The brother of yours was dead, and has come back to life. He was lost, and is found.

Luke 16:19-31 …you were well of in your lifetime, while [he] was in misery…

Luke 17:1-2 Scandals will inevitably arise, but woe to him through whom they come. He would be better off thrown into the sea with a millstone around his neck than giving scandal to one of these little ones.

It matters how the rich man in the house treats the poor man lying at his gate.

Care for the sheep who have no shepherd.

If you love the shepherd, feed the sheep. John 21:15, 17

We are responsible for the people in our lives and for the people around us.

Radical message is to radically reconfigure family to mean each one is a brother or sister.

If one has taken responsibility for me, I should take responsibility for my community.

Not just the few, the very few, that we like.

Someone is standing at the gate waiting for us.

We can take up our responsibility for one another, and share our lives…

Good and Dangerous News

Act out of deep care and solidarity with the suffering.

Each day one comes to the gate hoping to receive some measure of kindness.

No gold or silver but something better. Acts 3:1-8

A source of transformation for hurt and need.

Out-narrate the rival narratives about what the world is…

Live so that others are attracted to our character and peace…

“…after his resurrection Jesus ascended into heaven and at the end of the age he will come in glory to judge the living and the dead…” The narrative is that both the living and the dead will be judged…

Go further with unique proclamations…

The Baptismal Covenant:

Supported by

Scripture,

teachings,

prayer,

sacraments

Mission work sends us into the world to enact the gospel for Jesus:

first,

last

always

Outreach meets the needs of the whole person:

spiritual

physical

Proclaim the reign of God in

voice

action

Believers are

taught

baptized

nurtured

Respond by serving

Transform unjust

Seek sustainable and renewing initiatives that redeem humanity and creation

Root outreach and mission in

Scripture

Tradition

Reason

Meet the needs of others by joining hands with those with different

theology

ideology

identity

Change by serving and walking with the

poor

voiceless

oppressed

God’s grace saves us and gives us power to serve & act

The story of our faith is what we are given and what we have to offer.

Episcopal

Epi means on or above

Scope means to see in order to act, to target, to observe

Sharing the mission and a Message

Meet people outside our doors as a responsibility.

A common mission prepares us to meet the people outside our door because we have received grace and mercy.

In order to meet God at his gate, I must hold the hand of the one outside my gate.

In order to come to rest in the bosom of Abraham I must arrive holding the hand of the one sitting at my gate of comfort.

When you’re doing things that don’t make sense to anyone, but they getting results, they are satisfying your needs and not hurting anyone. When the ones you care about don’t see the point in your objectives and you can’t get anyone to listen to you. When your life slowly, slowly rises while others falter and strangle and the proof, the only proofs you have are the results, the sure better way in a rejecting world. You may have been guided by the hand of God.

Not being religious and not believing in the tenets of the Christian faith, this is a bold statement on my part. But how else to explain it? Illogical to everyone but inspiring to me. Doomed to failure but ultimately a subtle success. Impossible in the eyes of the wise yet being accomplished by someone with no chance of success. With no encouragement, little help, incessant ridicule and criticism, something of lasting value is created and rises up from the ashes. Something precious to others who are capable and sought by others with with resources, that something coming to one with no capability to attain it, no resources to secure it. When the crazy person finds the hidden treasure and those weighted and balanced are left holding only their malice, you may have been guided by the hand of God.

The proofs that God is guiding you are very hard to see. Mostly in hindsight they are. Completely blemished they may be. Never bold and underscored will they appear. Because they are illogical and unexplainable they are wonderful not miraculous. Because the guidance comes not from present rationale or past training and bread crumbs on the path… There will be mistaken paths…There will be harmful failures… There will be disheartening betrayals… There will be growth and maturity and scars… These are the proofs. Along with the knowledge that something went right when everything went wrong. That someone stayed with you when everyone abandoned you. That when all is lost you can still be found. Just when the silence and the censor and the cynicism haunt you and seek to crush your flagging hopes and disparaged dreams, you see a light. You get back up. You leave the dried blood to cover your wounds. You savor the pain radiating from you your bruises. You seek to understand the abandonment of those you trusted. And you get back confidently on the path…you must have been lifted and now you are guided by the hand of God.

You are a joke if you don’t think the ridiculers are funny. You are ignored if you have an opinion without credentials. You are crazy if you stand alone with the truth. Being guided by unseen forces means that your intensity will almost always put you at odds with someone who is more convinced than intense. More arrogantly right than actually correct. More interested in self interest than self enlightenment. Yes, order has its place, but disorder is always waiting to enter into a structure that only honors credentials and might and tradition. No one deserves anything. Every one is free to take. Only the strong will get it. But the patient and persistent and persevering can be served. Served at a later time than the time of avarice. The time of confrontation. The time of win and lose. This will seem to be the position of the weak, which I am. All the same, it is some kind of truth. A kind of way that balances the dominating haves with the masses of have nots. When you can hold on to only hope as you watch the tangible blow away in the wind, you might be being guided by the hand of God.

Being disposable is a tough role to exist in for your entire life. Having your trust, loyalty, and hard earned money pave the way for another’s pleasure or success or good life can be devastating if dwelt upon. So don’t do it. Let go of it. Trust is your own mis-confection and a lesson learned for future application (too bad it is so often forgotten). Loyalty is your own bad choice and your are surely not alone on this one (too many wars and not enough families have suffered from poor, abused loyalty). Money? Money is the easiest thing to fix. Jimmy Buffett sings “I made enough money to buy Miami, But I pissed it away so fast…”. You can always misapply your trust again. You can always find someone or something else to affix your loyalty to…and have it slip, then slide, then fall on the floor of fate like the other loyalties that didn’t stick. Money isn’t a matter of acquiring, it’s a matter of pursuit. If the values in your life have no value to the non-trustworthy, disloyal, and wealthy – you are one the path, guided by the hand of God.

Loss still has to hurt. Harm still has to draw blood. Abandonment will still take its toll. Make no mistake, listening to the voices no one else can hear brings more immediate hardship than listening to those who everyone can hear but bring long term but only temporary comfort. Infestation, infection, and pestilence are part of the dynamic always going along for the sake of protection, health, and belonging. Leaving the herd not only exposes one to the pain of rejection but also the frigid steppes of the unknown. The cave of solemnity is also the cave of salvation. Sit by its meager fire. Feel your wounds slowly, painfully, blessedly heal. Commune with the emptiness which surrounds you, haunts you, enlightens you. These are the moments you will remember through the many stages of your life. Stages begin and end up until the end. But moments of clarity and maturity occur and stay. Hold them dear. Neither wish for them or avoid them but rather cherish them when they occur. They are a result of you listening and holding the guiding hand of God.

Since Monday, August 1, I’ve been trying to complete a couple of unfinished objectives: hard tile and legal tender. The tile in the living room was only half way grouted when the contractors left. The FEMA money held in escrow by my mortgagee was wholly withheld by the bank from the start. Following will be a description of who and how I had to literally get on my knees to finish the grout route and figuratively get on my knees to end the mortgagee dead end. I will be forced to tell you of some of the sins of my contractors. I will be delighted to tell you about my mortgagee’s many misdemeanors. My uphill battle with the grouting was a result of my contractors taking the path of least resistance. My demeaning descent with the little bank that couldn’t was a factor of too many people ascending the corporate ladder and not enough on the ground holding the ladder in place. As always, and with both, my endeavor endured the pattern of the seasons. From the dead season of “this should be easy”, to the spring of “lets follow the rules and trust in others so that things will get done”, to the summer of “I should have known it would be like this and when it comes to money, money rules”, and finally to the fall of “you reap what they sow, you don’t get what you pay for, and your urgency doesn’t constitute their priority”.

Grouting tile is a simple yet tedious process. How to do it is described in step by step instructions on the back of the grout bag in both English and Spanish, along with simple pictures for the simple minded. There are quicker ways of grouting known to man, men who have grouted standard polished square tile projects. That brisk quick method spreads grout over a reachable area and uses a wet mop to mop the still wet grout up before it dries. Rinse, mop and repeat. Done. This method is only fair but mostly fast substitute for the conventional approach (trowel out, trowel up, sponge off, sponge clear) because the smooth tile allows for the wet mop to easily sop the tiny excess grout sand in its large roping tentacles and drag them off the slick tile beach into the slop bucket lagoon. However, this method I rate (irate) poor to inadequate for tile that has a rough texture such as slate stone or wood look porcelain. The latter, wood look porcelain, is what I have, and what I have is a mess.

Grout contains cement and is easy to apply and clean when wet, impossible to manipulate when it is dry. The entire tile work that WAS completed in my house was left with dried grout on ALL of the tiles. In order to clean this residue off the tile there are no easy solutions. If there is a large amount of grout dried on the tile, I read where one could use a hardwood plank (1×4 oak) to scrape and remove the chunks. The rest is accomplished by wetting and brushing with water or cleaning solutions and a non abrasive brush (nylon) each crevice of each tile until the hardened artery softens. I’m referring to scrubbing over 400 square feet of tile needing to be cleaned of a disturbing white grime. I’m going to roughly estimate that I paid $2400 to have 2 workers lay and grout 400 square feet of tile at $20 an hour, taking 120 hours. I’ll then estimate that it will take be 15 minutes per square foot to clean each hardened tarnished tile.

That comes out to (400 sq ft X .25 hours) = 100 hours. We already spent many hours cleaning up the tile project work area, minimal cleaning grout for furniture delivery, and grouting and tiling the remainder of the project, for an approximate total of 32 hours. Add the 100 hours for cleaning the remainder and you have 132 hours to complete the tile job the workers started. It will cost me more to complete the job (@ $20 hour) than I paid the workers to get 2/3 of way through it.

I deposited $10K of FEMA insurance money with my mortgagee to be held until repairs were made. The exact process of what it would take from me to get them to release the money was not worked out but I trusted that it would a simple process. I started working with one person who knew the ropes but was moving up the corporate ladder. He said that since he was familiar with my case that I should talk to him with questions and issues. From that point forward, there was no one else that seemed to be familiar with my situation, able to respond or concerned about me getting my money.

Two months went by before I started to probe the mortgagee about getting my $10K. I called on a Monday and was told that the guy I needed to talk to was in the corporate office and that they would get back to me. With no call back I called back later in the week to be told that they were working on it. Honest. The next week, I called and was told the fella I had originally talked with was now acting vice president and that the local office would be handling the case. Still nothing happened.

The following week, I called the main office to get someone who might care, perhaps the acting president. Instead, the call was routed to a different branch office. I asked for the acting president by name. The woman on the other end asked which office my loan was out of. I told her but added I was asking to speak to the person who was now acting president. She told me there were 400 employees with the bank and she didn’t know them all by name. I said he’s your president. She said she would look up who was his immediate supervisor. She got the number and the name and transferred me back to my local office.

When the local office answered, I explained my circumstance and she said she would get someone. That someone was the top guy at that office and he knew all about my situation. He told me what he needed from me (receipts, pictures) and what I needed from him. I stopped everything to deal with this glimmer of hope. I sent my spreadsheet of expenses immediately. I sent the copies of receipts, payments, and progress pictures that night. Two days later – nothing. I called the office again. The receptionist said she was not familiar with my case. She put another woman on who was. Apparently the guy I had spoken to two days ago had handed my case over to her. I had sent all of my documents by email directly to the top guy at the local office. The woman now in charge was not aware that the signed documents were returned because he turned it over to her and didn’t open his emails.

She said she would take care of it and send me my money. Hours later – nothing. I called her and she said had everything she needed and would be sending the money electronically that afternoon – and she did. That should be the end of the story. However, a larger check arrived that same day with the mortgagee’s name on it. This will have to be deposited with them and the same process repeated. We are back living in the house but that does not automatically mean they will be giving us the money. I must now make this place look good for the mortgagee so that the rest of the money is easily released. Good luck with that.

Yesterday was a mad scramble to get the floors ready for the furniture arriving today. Specifically, the master bedroom and living room tile. It wasn’t cleaned of the grouting material. Not even close. So I arrived at nine a.m. to find it that way and mopped the whole house. It still looked bad. I called my wife and told her the situation. Driving back to her house, grabbing some cleaning stuff, we landing back at the farm and started work. She mopped and re-mopped the master bedroom. I concentrated on the portion of the living room that would be reserved for the large sectional couch. I scrubbed the wood-look tile on my hands and knees. After five hours, the tile was much improved but mediocre. It would have to do. We were whipped.

If I had it to do over, I would do it differently. The language barrier was too much. The expertise was too limited. The price was too high. I still have a month of work left. I have untold fixes on work done or left undone. I have time. Especially if I make the life changes I have in mind. Dropping an activity here a relationship there. Adding goals and discipline in their place should do the trick. Goals will be easier than discipline. The discipline I don’t have is the discipline I’m talking about. An everyday get up and push-up and run and diet, in a mental sort of way. The path to discipline a path divergent to natural tendencies. The ascent of discipline is the descent of natural tendencies. The seasons of discipline are the winter of discontent, the spring of effort, the reality of personality and the harvest of an essentially modified and more disciplined natural tendency.

If my life is to be better then I have to be better. My temper must be kept in a different place than on my sleeve. What I expect and what think the world should need to be seen as humorous approaches to life that when confronted by real life, are exposed and trampled – with a giggle! The tendency of me to allow inane circumstances to kerfuffle my demeanor is many a splendor-ed disorder. There are so many stories that could be drawn from the tormentors who bring out the worst in me and tantrums that love to be brought out with them.

In any case, living room, bedroom, and dining room should arrive today. I’ll call my mortgagee to get an answer on how I get my money held in escrow. I’ll get it, I know. Along with the long awaited FEMA checks. To day I should buy the two TV stands. One for Francis and one for Sawmyl Synders. Need to call the plumber about the natural gas line. Need to call AT&T about cable. Need to find someone to cleanup the jungle that has developed in the beds around the house. Plenty to do while the heat of summer is still on. Plenty to be done before the heat needs to come on for winter.

About that house in the back, you were saying? Oh, yeah, the little log cabin that faces Veterans drive. A real log cabin with an efficient fire place and water well and an aerobic septic system. Where the water can’t get to me and the neighbors are close and the original farm house is 2,000 feet from my new door step. What happens first? How about designing that puppy complete so that you can then start putting in a foundation. Who will we meet? We’re bound to meet somebody. Who will we lose? Old man river I should hope.