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Prologue
In a galaxy far from ours there is a world named erloken where there is a evil empire who collects boys and girls from the age of fourteen to sixteen on the day of darkenfire in the month of shadowmoon. The boys are taken to a big military camp to be striped of their free will and trained to fight for the empire and collect even more kids. The girls are sent to be slaves for emperor instrome.
Chapter 1
Armor, swords, and spells
A boy with the name of Airon is in a deep slumber in his bed when his mother ,Sheri, starts trying to wake him up.
“Airon...Airon...GET UP!!! yells Sheri.
“What time is it?” asks Airon rather tiredly.
“Almost noon.”
“Almost noon!” at this point he is wide a wake and totally freaking out. “I'm late meeting Bart at the forge!!”
“No you're not.” says Sheri. “It's your fourteenth birthday. Remember? Now get out of bed and get dressed.”
Let me tell you a little bit about Airon. His hair is dark brown and curly but he keeps it short, his eyes are a light brown color but almost look bronze. His build is short, and he is strong and swift. His friends gave him a nickname, Hawk, because he has hawk like vision.
Airon had just finished getting dressed and walked to the dining room sit down and eat breakfast.
“Good morning mother. Good morning father.” said Airon.
“Good morning” said Sheri and his dad, Cordo.
“Here are you presents.” said Sheri. “Sorry we didn't wrap them”
Airon took the present to inspect them
“Armor, a sword, spell scrolls? Are you losing your minds!?” asked Airon “This stuff is illegal!”
“We figured you might need these” said Cordo “ Oh, and here is a backpack. I enchanted it to hold an unlimited amount of items and the armor can transform in to any type of clothing all you have to say is armor then a clothing.”
“Um what type of sword is this?” asked Airon
“Obsidian iron. It's unbreakable you know.” said Cordo. “and the armor is dragon scale but it can change in to lite dragon bone armor, its the most flexible”
“Great.” Said Airon, in an extremely sarcastic tone “not only do I have a sword but dragon armor if the empire finds out it will be the death of everyone in the town.”
“Not if you turn the armor into a cloak and put your sword under it.” Said Sheri.
Airon sighs “I need to go for a walk.” Says he and walks out the door.
Chapter 2
Airon wandered around the town for a while bought some dried fruit, deer jerky, a couple of sleeping bags, and fire making equipment. As he was walking he decided to go to his girlfriend's house. When Airon arrived he knocked on the door, no answer, he knock louder, still no answer. He backed away from the door and charged, suddenly the door flew open in front of him WHACK everything went dark.
When Airon woke up his head was throbbing with pain.
“I'm so so sorry!” said Airon's girlfriend, Abigail, in a worried voice.
“I..it's ok. I'm...fine...don’t worry. Why did you hit me any way?”
“I thought you a soldier.” said Abigail.
“ Why?
“ because it's collection week.”
“I totally forgot.”
“How do you forget?”
“I think you knocked it out as me....... hahahaha”

Airon pulled out a scroll
“What is that? And why do you have a backpack?” asked Abigail.
“It's a healing spell. As for your second question I'm skipping town. Are you willing to come?”
“Ok. I was going to leave any way.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
“Just now”
“What was that?” asked Airon

There was clanking of weapons and armor “lets check this house.” said a man.
“We need to hide!” said Airon.
They ran to the fireplace and climbed as fast as they could. The door fell from a kick and the soldiers searched the room.
“check the fire place.” said someone.
A man looked up the chimney. No one was there.
As soon as Airon and Abigail jumped off the roof they started running, they ran to the edge of town and stopped to get a bow and arrow for Abigail.
“Wher ya you two youngsters a goin?” asked the stall keeper, Dirk.
“To Misty Spark Falls.” said Airon.
“aright” said Dirk.
They walked to the edge of town and took a right on a fork in the road when Abigail said “I thought we were going to the falls.”
“we're not I told him that so if anyone asked he would say that.” said Airon.
“Oh. I didn't think of that”
“I could tell...I could tell.” laughed Airon.
Let me interrupt the story real quick I just want to tell you what Abigail looks like. She is blonde with startling ocean blue eyes and her build is sleek, curvy and sinewy yet strong muscles. All in all she is very cute yet fierce.
A few minutes after they left the town the group of guards that were looking for them asked Dirk where they went and he said they went to the falls.
“Sure they did.” said a guard. As they walked away
“What should we do Captain?” asked Roldfier, the First Lieutenant.
“Go to the fields.” said Captain Valneir. “ Everybody move out.”
“How do you know captain?” asked a guard.

Valneir drew his sword as he spun around and loped the guards head off
“Does everyone understand? We follow those kids and no one, I mean no one asks questions.” Said Valneir.

Well...I think the idea is a nice one, but due to the constant presence of grammatical errors and the shifting tone of voice, I found this almost impossible to read. What I mean to say is, if you're trying to write in a very formal narrative - as it seems you are - phrases like "at this point he is wide a wake and totally freaking out" detract from the reading experience. It just seems sloppy and unorganized. Tidy it up and I'm sure it would be great :) I like the premise of rebellion and fantasy, this could really go places.