I am in dire need of help. There happens to be a lady at my place of work that, until recently, I had considered a friend. But, as of a few weeks, seems to be getting more annoying by the day. Even her name makes my skin crawl. A name that I shall not utter, for it would even make your skin - hard though it may be - creep. She has a "holier than thou" attitude that just does not seem to sit right with me at all! Every word that she speaks seems to be a mask for what she's really wanting to say: "My opinion is better. I am better than you." Oh. And did I mention the fact that she just seems to be so drawn to our new boss? Attractive (but not as attractive as Edward (swoon)) though he may be, there is simply no need for her to follow him around every day like a love sick puppy. Now, I'm not jealous. But her actions may be enough to get him or her fired, and I don't want that, despite how much I despise her. So, if you would please be so kind as to make a small trip to the states, I am most certain that you will not be disappointed.

My Dear Heidi~I have a brother who thinks he is the greatest thing to walk the earth. He was awful to us younger siblings as kids. Things haven't improved much now that we are adults. He yelled at me a couple of weeks ago because I sweetened the tea at family dinner. He has fallen on rough times and had to move back in with my parents. He doesn't help mom out around the house. He needs someone to put him in his place. I've been told that he is good-looking (*snort* I don't see it), and he would love to hook up with a beautiful Italian woman such as yourself. He's always wanted to go to Italy, so that's a plus! He'd never suspect anything!

There just so happens to be someon I have in mind for you to mess with. Eat her later if you iwsh I don't really care. She sits beside me in one class and does not stop laughing. Ever. so if you find a way to torment her please do. I won't miss her if she never comes back.

I may need you as well as the entire guard and the wives. Could you help me with all the complainers and whiners that can never fully be satisfied by anything. At least someone can be satisfied! Enjoy!

Yeah, so I have this ex-boyfriend. His name? Let's just call him Mr. Jerkface. Mr. Jerkface is lying and cheating, but I heard that paired with a little BBQ sauce that is a delicacy to the taste buds. I'm sure you'd love to have him for your dinner tonight!

I agree with the above post... go get them Jonas Brothers! All of them. In fact can you Take Brittany Spears (go for K-Fed too) and Lindsay Loahan also??? Oh and while were on the list. Please take O.J. Simpson off our planet. I'm sure I will be back before long. Oh Voultri - if you only worked fast and dilligently our would would be a better place.

It is my pleasure to adress you in this matter, I hope you can help me. I have a sister in law that by my standars and most real human beigns might not be considered human, maybe more like a snake. I do hope you take reptiles, be careful she hapens to be very venomus too she might not kill you if you drink her blood but she might just make you as sick as she does me. So maybe you should use her as a gift to someone you trully hate to get back at them. She would probably kill them slowly and painfully as that is her real tallent.

Thanks for everything I hope that this is a tempting offer.Sincecerely Love Mrs.Mylifenow,Cullen.