In the ongoing war of The Food Lady Versus Tweed And The Infected Toe, there is only one weapon.

THE BOOTIE.But it’s not a particularly effective weapon, since we are now on Bootie #3.

Hello up there! Hai! Take this off, or I will.It’s too big for him. The last one was too small for him. The first one was just right, until he ate it off.

I eventually got tired of it, so I just cut off all his legs. It makes his tail sexier anyway.

The good news is – his toe is totally healing and looks really good (but also creepy, because it’s been shaved). No thanks to Tweed, who eats everything I wrap his foot in. I have gone through more vet wrap than I ever thought possible. They are starting to greet us with a roll in their hand at the local Tisol.

The Infect-o-foot has not stopped Tweed from having a good time.

Who wouldn’t have a good time sandwiched between these two hawt bitches?What a hard decision for a dude!

This one is the yin to his yang (and her own)But this one has a tough, bulldog-like exterior and a heart of tennis balls I MEAN GOLD!Together they are Unstoppable Cuteness.As you can see, Piper is getting along with Miss Maeven The Raven just fine. Maeve is VERY VERY ANNOYING:but Piper is maintaining and even enjoys a good game of bitey-face with her every morning.

Interestingly, it is the baby of the family that is put out.

Please send her back to where she came from.I’ve been getting the cold shoulder. If we all sit around on the sofa of an evening to watch tv, Wootie is napping in my bed, in the other room. When I go to bed, he slides off with a pitiful expression and crawls underneath it. You KNOW he’s pouting, because he doesn’t like to sleep under the bed where the Grumpy Tweedigator lives at night.

Now he’s trying to win back my love by being A Good Dog. This afternoon, he posed for a photo op all by himself. I was standing there admiring the view and I heard this little whimper … I turned around and he was doing this:Sassy little thing.

No matter how hard you wish for it, Food Lady, I am not Phoenix.Yeahno. It’s too scary.

(But if you need me to, if we are ever lost, I can dig us to safety.)Wootie thinks winning me back is probably a lost cause. He’s decided to go Team Guy.Too bad his teammate is only thinking about one thing.

I hope we are leaving soon, so I can eat the bootie in the car. Mmmmm …. bootie ….No matter what happens with Maeve, I already know I have the best, most devoted dogs in the whole world.

Poor Tweed. He has a pus-filled pocket of infection in one of his front toes. It must be quite painful, as he licked it into a horrible mess.

As you can see, it’s really slowing him down.

Don’t worry, that’s our last trip to the beach anytime soon, since his toe needs to heal, which means it’s staying wrapped and not getting wet. Or at least, that was the plan. After shaving his foot, charging me a princely sum for The World’s Most Expensive Vet Wrap ($14.00!!!), coupled with The World’s Most Expensive Antibiotics ($60.00!!) my vet assured me that her wrapping job was “dog proof.” For extra good measure, she sprayed it with the foulest tasting stuff around.

Tweed unwrapped the bandage in the car on the way home.

Oh but I was ready for this. When we got home, I put a boot on him. He looks ridiculous and he’s MAD AS HELL because even his considerable brain can’t wrap itself (pardon the pun) around the concept of Velcro.

Mwa ha ha ha.

Anyway, so today was our last beach trip until his foot is better. I had to get one last one in.

Maeve was very glad that I did!

Wahoo!!So was I. Because how else would I get shots like this?Piper has acclimated to Maeve now and it’s no longer constant Mad Teeth(tm). That does not mean she is really happy about sharing her Queen Bitch status though.

I’ll serve her up a big ole platter of Whoop Ass right now!She spends a lot of time trying to escape Maeve.But Maeve is insane.and FAST!

ZOOOOOOoooommmmmYou are all terrible HORRIBLE AWFUL CRUEL enablers! It’s like you all got together and caused a tilt in my reality, because yesterday my landlord informed me that he’d put my condo on the market and it’s now officially for sale. Looks like I am moving whether I really intended to or not!

However, whether that move will include Maeve remains to be seen. Because although I really like her, there are two concerns I have.

Concern #1 – Maeve does not jump. I mean, she doesn’t jump anything. Small log in the way? She goes around it. Frisbee in the air? Very keen, but waits for it to come to the ground. Last night at agility class during warm up, I tried to coax her over a 10″ jump and she limboed underneath it. A stunning display of dexterity to be sure for a dog that stands 18″ at the shoulder, but nothing that’s going to rocket us to Nationals or anything. Now, I have started a fair number of my own agility dogs (5, akshully) and I teach it to beginners as well, and I’ve never seen a dog so reluctant to jump.

I already have a non-agility dog (not that I’m MRWOO naming any names MRWOO) and I don’t want another agilitydud. Tweed is going on 10 years old – sooner rather than later my boy will retire. And Piper, bless her, is coming along really well (in spite of my poor sportsmanship and bad temper, I should point out). (See Gerhard? I already KNOW I’m an asshole) but she is 7 years old – I waited much too long. If I’m going to get another dog, I want one I can compete with down the line.

Of course, it’s easy to say all this when I’m not looking at this face!Concern #2 - ZOMG!

Hello, my name is Linus, and you promised to love ME!Okay so this is not really a concern, just a cheap and sleazy way to segue into new rescue puppy photos!!

Goshgillygeewhiz, they are SO DARN CUTE! They are now 33 days old, and have transformed themselves from sleepy cuddly potatoes into razorsharp shark monsters with a taste for blood. NO TOES ARE SAFE!!

Why are you standing on one leg clutching your foot and crying, Facebox Lady’s assistant?I look cute, but I’m just lulling you into a false sense of security. Then I’ll attack. And attack, and attack, and attack …I do not remember Mona’s puppies being this obsessed with feet. PAINFULLY obsessed with feet.

This one was the worst offender of them all. I think he might be a direct descendant of Satan. Or else that Shark Water guy should be doing a study on him or something.

Stalking … feet … tasty, delicious feet …And this one is just dreaming about feet.Satan’s foot soldiers! (I really need to lay off the puns)Aren’t they the dreamiest though? I so love them (at someone else’s house)!!

We have had a fair number of applications come through for them already. The usual handful of ridiculous ones (are they housebroken? How much training do they have? I’m about to have a baby, can I adopt one?) but also some really stellar applications from some really amazing performance homes. So if you want one, act fast (PAULA).

All photos were taken by yours truly (some of them you may recognize!) and each featured dog is a TDBCR rescue! 100% of the proceeds go back into our fostering program (and believe me, after Cafe Press takes its cut, there’s not a lot of proceeds – so order lots of them!).

Got another calendar you’d like to see? Maybe a Dogs In Ridiculous Clothes calendar, or an All Puppies All The Time calendar? Let me know and I’ll do my best!

flickr photos

Wootube! Book

I hope it will be the first of many. This is a small sample of some of my favourite funny Wootube tales … I have another batch to publish, but I didn’t want to make the book huge / prohibitively expensive. And then I hope to move on to more serious book(s).

Testimonials

RDM, you get some of the greatest photos EVER. Just love looking at your blog pics - my enjoyment is much enhanced by your commentary, naturally, but the pics would certainly be enough on their own!

AK Dog Doc

Just wanted to say hi! and confess that I have become addicted to Three Woofs and a Woo. It's true. I have begun recommending it to my fellow dog cult members at the dog park. I am working from home right now, transcribing research interviews, and I use 3W&W as my break time.

Joni

i don't want you to go back to work, either, because i imagine this means you won't be updating your blog quite as often! :(

waaaah! :*(

(i admit it, i am addicted to your blog - i always have it open on a tab in my Firefox window.)

MahnaMahna

You are obviously a very engaging writer, you take great pics, and your dogs... well words barely describe their wonder... have you ever thought about taking these antics and making them into childrens books. Something to the idea of 3 woofs and a woo: fifa goes missing. Or 3 woofs and a woo: look out hollywood. Just a thought.

SweetCeana

Finally, on your blog there is a spot to look at all the wonderful Woo shots. aaahhhh. beautiful.

Kat's Dogs

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May a dog pee upon any person who steals, borrows or uses my photos or text without permission!