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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

The Process of Writing - Second to Third Draft

Third Draft:

It was a steamy summer day in Montgomery Texas. [D1]I
was shopping on my lunch break at HEB and came across a bright green box with a
sexy lady silhouette on it that read, “Chinese Super Dieters Tea.” I’ve always
struggled with my weight and the idea of a tea that would help me shed pounds
was enticing. I bought it and went back to work.

Suddenly,[D10] I began to feel a terrible pain[D11] in my bowels. Cramps seized me, followed
by gurgle
gut[D12]. A cold sweat broke out on my[D13]forehead. Every muscle strained with the
effort of not exploding diarrhea out of my butt in front of all those people.
There was no one to take
over the front desk[D14] so that I could run to the toilet. To make
things worse, the only restroom in the whole office was a public[D15] one right there in the waiting room.

I’ll stop here and spare you the details of[D24]hot[D25] lava spraying from[D26] my anus like Mount Vesuvius into the
toilet of Pompeii. Suffice it[D27] to say, I never took the “diet tea” at
work again. I re-[D28]named it “poo tea” because that’s really
what it was. That’s all it did. Not[D29] exactly the type of weight loss I was
hoping for. Take it from me; you don’t want to try it!