Archive for the ‘Influence’ Category

Do you feel like you are ignored and overlooked at work considering all the effort you put in?

In a team meeting, even after you have said what you needed to get across, you feel you may as well have not been there?

You can’t help but notice that your suggestions get disregarded and yet when another team member offers the same input – good heavens! Not only do they get acknowledged greatly but their idea also gets accepted.

Not surprisingly, you find yourself perplexed – scratching your head, wondering what happened and what it is that you are missing?

This has certainly been the experience of a few of my clients who have wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on.

If wanting ‘greater presence’ is something you would like, then read on!

What is Presence?

The Oxford Dictionary defines Presence as “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present.” In the business arena, we also hear the word linked with leadership, influence and executive or personal presence.

We know what presence is when we walk into a room and immediately notice someone who has this in bucket loads and this even before they open their mouths.

And how much more powerful their presence gets felt when their message and its delivery, their non-verbals like how they hold themselves and the way they communicate all coalesce into a bulls eye potency.

Building relationship may not increase influence. But no-one increases influence without building relationship. – Dr. Mark Strom

Our life is a series of interactions, reflection and action. In our organizational and business life, influencing others, be it our direct reports, manager, or customers, helps us progress with our goals. Our personal life is no different but that is another blog!

And yet for many of us, we lose confidence when we have to do this.

The hesitancy embodies messages like, “I am not sure how they will react, what if things get worse to I don’t have the right skills and how do I this when I hold a contrary view and maintain the relationship?”

Can you relate to any of the above? Or perhaps you have your own rationale/story of what gets in the way. (I would love to hear so please feel free to add in the comments section below).

The good news is that you can become more effective at communicating and expressing yourself, being heard and crashing through any self (or other) imposed barriers holding you from success.

Last week, a coachee who had been described as a bright spark and full of potential by her manager, commented at how disappointed she was in not getting the support of a key stakeholder for a new initiative.

In her view, it was a project full of potential – the benefits of which she thought would have been obvious to him.

She said she was surprised at how things turned out because they had worked together and he knew the issues they were facing in the industry. “I expected him to just get it,” but clearly this was not the case.