Kinda Confused!!?

I agree with all of you. This whole story sets off every warning bell in my head. Don't get married just because you want to be married (That's what I did in my 20s) Take your time. I love my boyfriend and we've discussed marriage and kids, but I want to be living with him a year before we take the leap to even become engaged.

MANDIETERRIER1
Posts:
17,535
5/8/12 11:01 A

I wonder if the Original Poster will come back. If your gut is telling you something is not quite right, then it usually is off somehow.

SCTK519
Posts:
2,086
5/4/12 11:42 P

The whole thing could be a scam too and this guy isn't who he says he is. He could be some 30-something year old dude who lives in Alabama and has 5 kids. Why hasn't he come to see you? Why is he proposing 1 month in?!

Slow it waaaaay down. You're still quite young, and in my opinion you can never really know if someone long distance without ever meeting. You don't know if you'll be compatible in the real world. Talking everyday is not a substitute for physically being together.

It sounds like he's still unsure about the commitment, and you probably should be too.

LUANN_IN_PA
Posts:
26,702
5/3/12 3:28 P

"Ok,my boyfriend asked my to marry him the second month we were dating,"

Umm... since you have never met him, you have NOT been dating! Seriously!

And why are you engaged to a guy you never met? Do you have a ring? A wedding date?

You cannot leave to visit him, but he never bothered to come visit you - not even to MEET you - in seven months?

Maybe he has not told anyone because he is not as serious as you seem to be.

Your whole scenario just isn't right....

Edited by: LUANN_IN_PA at: 5/3/2012 (15:29)

MANDIETERRIER1
Posts:
17,535
5/3/12 2:39 P

I am concerned about the whole thing. About him not telling his family, but that is the least of your concerns. You are only twenty slow down. Don't put the cart before the horse. Date him in the real world before you become engaged. Believe me when you date by phone, letter and email you are not really seeing the whole person.

My gut tells me something is not right. And I think your gut is telling you the same thing.

If it is true love and you are meant to be together, things will work themselves out. Just slow down and take your time, you are young. You have your whole life ahead of you.

".We havnt seen each othr in person yt cuz im on probation and cnt leave state without permission." -- that's probably the issue

I went through the talk on line, phone, letter....but after a year we met in person and haven't "date" or "been together" prior to that. Actually took another year, 2 more visits and many letters to be together. Then he moved in with me...by the way he proposed on the phone. He was doing his military service and we talked one evening and asked whether I want to get married. I said "yes" but only after 2 yrs we got engaged and 2 more years after we got married. not married anymore (been divorced for over a year now).

I do understand the guy not telling his parents. Let him know you in person, see how you get along "in real life" not over the phone. THEN make other plans and tell his parents.

Edited by: KYRSTINRO at: 5/3/2012 (13:17)

SCTK519
Posts:
2,086
5/2/12 11:26 P

I'd be majorly concerned if he's not telling his family. Maybe they'll think it's moving too fast considering you've never actually met and have apparently decided to get married after talking on the phone for one month. Can he come visit you? How do you know he is who he says he is? Talking to one another is good, but there's no way you know enough information about someone in a month to say that you'll spend your life with them. His family is probably Extremely concerned about that. If one of my siblings was in this situation, I know I'd be having a serious talk with them.

No one should be getting married if they've only been together one month, especially when you've never met. You haven't even actually gone out on dates, the definition of dating. And you're only 20 years old! What's the rush!?

Ok,my boyfriend asked my to marry him the second month we were dating,which was November 2011.We have been engaged for over 6 and a half months.I said When You going to tell your family we are engaged.He said,Not for a while.

WHAT THE HECK?i love him soo much and evryone knows on my side that im engaged.His mom loves me to death.Hes afraid his family would get mad.I dont know how to explain to his to tell them.It frustrates me alittle.WE ARE SOOO IN LOVE.talk evry other hour evry day!our 7 mnoth anniversary is tomoro,MAY 3RD 2012.we met on OCT.3RD 2011 ovr phone.We havnt seen each othr in person yt cuz im on probation and cnt leave state without permission.P.O says im definitely gettn off,I HOPE HES RIGHT,end of this month.Im going out to Missouri for 3 mnths to visit leavn home,Ohio,middle of June.Moving in with him middle of November.DUNNO WHAT IS WRONG WITH TELLING HIS MOM??!!! i guess its ok.WE ARE MAJORLY IN LOVE AND WE CARE SOO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER.should i just DROP THE SUBJECT WITH HIM bout tellin his family??im soo confused~

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