Facebook Updates

March 17, 2011

As many of you know, lots of Americans in Japan have been reporting online via Facebook and Twitter the real news of events here to contrast the doomsday sensationalism of the U.S. and other media. For those of you who may have missed a few, or are not on Facebook at all, here's a collection of some of the more colorful updates. These are what I call "post news", poking a little fun after the fact. Some of these are mine and some I stole from friends. Enjoy! --J.J.V. http://www.facebook.com/jjvicars

Panicked co-workers were unable to stem the flow of adjectives spewing from the stricken journalist.

Rumors of my irradiation have been greatly exaggerated.

I ain't scared of no radiation, I've eaten at Taco Bell.

Americans have more to fear from high fructose corn syrup than any other "contamination".

The U.S. Ebassy's official report. Basically, stay a good 50 miles from the plant. Duh! You think I was planning a picnic?

The evacuation recommendations are for a 50 mile radius of the nuke plant. Not only is it for your own safety, but get the fuck outta the way so the professionals can do their job!

News flash-The British Foreign office has urged all UK nationals to leave the UK if possible because its crap there, cigarettes are too expensive and theres nothing good on the tele!

Working on a Link Wray style instrumental called MELTDOWN. Bull Durham's gonna put some smokin' keys on it!

The conspiracy theorists are just as bad as the media, spreading doomsday scenarios. They're eliciting fear and panic and doing absolutely nothing to solve the problem. Also tired of the anti-nuke shit. Save that debate for AFTER this is over. Now is not the time. Neither group seems to give a fuck about the tsunami survivors up north.

Tsunami survivors up north are having a helluva time. Cold as hell and snowing on top of everything else. A 70 year old woman in a wheelchair was washed out to sea, then washed back up still in her wheel chair (true story). Images of LITTLE BRITAIN's Lou & Andy dance through my head.

Elvis was just over at my place yesterday. We smoked a joint and pressed the red HAARP button, just before he hopped into his spaceship and fucked off. Bastard didn't even offer me a ride.