MTV’s Josh Horowitz sat down with The Hobbit stars Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis, and Martin Freeman to ask some probing questions about the film, if you follow me here (boner-wise I mean, like a probing boner). Who would the stars of the film fuck, marry, or kill between Smog, the Eye of Sauron, or an unnamed orc. “Well, I don’t know, I don’t want to have sex with any of them,” McKellen says, before settling on fucking the unnamed orc. “Maybe I could pick a pretty one if there’s such a thing.”

How about between Bilbo, Gandalf and Gollum? Their answers vary, but I think it’s obvious that you’d want to fuck Gollum, because that dude is crazy as hell, and they’re always the best in the sack aren’t they? (Vulture via Uproxx)