Ello

So no response yet from Guelph Girl. I think I know where this is headed, but -- you never know.

Two thoughts.

First, it was a very pleasant date. Quite pleasant and nice. But no zip-boom-bah. Is that a problem? It went right past excitement of discovery to the contentment of an established relationship, somehow. Not something wrong as such, but the fun part was definitely missing. Dunno. Maybe I'm at an age where that's OK, and she, being younger, it's not. But I'm guessing.

Secondly, the did put a bit of physical distance between us throughout the date. It seemed like a personal space thing, rather than avoidance. That said, I had to push back on that a bit, as she's a soft talker, and I'm half deaf. I simply couldn't hear her. I had to do a reveal of my disability much too early on that, when she went to sit on my bad side, and I had to ask her to switch, and explain why. I hate that. People are always perfectly accommodating, but you can always sense a change in how they look at you. Fucking disability...

Thirdly (OK, I had three thoughts), when it comes to dating, I'm making an effort to be more confident. Not assertive, but confident. This isn't really my thing, so it takes some practice. But being confident as a guy naturally goes over into traditional gender roles, and sometimes that doesn't work well with women on the lefty side of the political spectrum. There was a bit of a moment where we had finished our coffee and were going to go to the club, but she had to visit the washroom. When she was away, I had cleared the table, picked up her coat, and was waiting for her by the till -- people needed the table. Confident. She came back to see me standing there with her coat, ready for her, ready to go. She was taken aback a bit. Probably too familiar a move on my part, this stranger handling her stuff. Maybe a mistake on my part. You never know how things will go over.

Overthinking all of this. And doing a post-mortem while it's still a vivisection. It's what I do.