Title: A day at the headquartersAuthor: VestaPairing: Dean/Fox Mulder/SamCatergory: Crossover SPN/X FilesRating: NC-17Warnings: A definite Bad!Fic. So, so, so...I apologise.Feedback: I'm not so sure I want to hear what you think about this, but I have to say Yes, please anyway. Don't be mean, will youSummary: Dean is at the FBI head quarters to get his certificate as Specialised Bottom sorted.

Notes: This came out off the blue after a short converstation with lupina78. She likes Fox Mulder, so do I. This has gone from unbetad to betad! softbluebuddy spent some time on me and sorted it out. Mille grazie! Tack så mycket.

"So, Inspector, what did you have in mind?" Dean quirked an eyebrow at the suit clad man in front of him. He hadn't heard of the Sex-Test Department at FBI until recently but nothing could surprise him anymore.

"Not Inspector", the man said and smiled at Dean. "It's Fox. Fox Mulder." He shrugged his suit jacket off. "No need for titles, we are going to get on a very personal level here."

Dean took a good long look at him. Nice. Fox was a little worn, a little rugged. Just as Dean liked them. Dean cocked his hip out, trying to provoke the Inspector a little, see how much he could take before he snapped. "Exactly how personal…Inspector?" The last question came out a seductive purr. Hell, Dean never said no to good nookie and this looked like it could be seriously good.

Fox cleared his throat. "The test goes through all the stages of intercourse. And as you know, since the FBI incorporated the hunters, the demand for sex magic has skyrocketed. So we go through everything. Oral, anal, sexual positions, threesomes, DP, foursomes… There is no standard set for orgies yet but we're working on it." He took off his pants and folded them neatly. Dean gasped at the sight of the big, hard cock jutting out under Fox's shirt hem. Almost as big as Sam's, good thing he was used to monsters like that.

Time to get even. Dean opened his shirt, button by button, and slid it off slowly. He was already barefoot so his jeans fell when he shimmied his hips.

The bed creaked when they fell onto it. Fox had explained that they had special made bed frames at FBI headquarters. No need to worry about breaking it.

Dean took a deep breath and put his mouth on Fox's cock. He groaned when the salty flavour spread on his tongue. Fox had explained that there were three grades set on the oral; tongue fluttering, deep throating and swallowing. Extra points were given for facials and cleaning up. Points were deducted for teeth scraping. Dean was hell bent on scoring the highest grade possible on the oral part of the test. Because he was goooood at sucking cock.

He managed eight out of ten. Dean could not believe his ears. Eight! After deep throating, swallowing half of Fox's load and letting the rest land on his face. Must have been the one little scrape of teeth that had done it.

Anal was next. Dean put on a show. Fox sat in the chair beside the bed, clearly interested when Dean spread his legs and pumped his fingers in and out of himself. Dean was on his knees and an elbow, back arched and four fingers stretching him self. Fox was taking notes, Dean could hear the scratching of his pen even over the thundering of his pulse in his ears.

He hadn't expected the extra fingers Fox pushed inside of him, the stretch had Dean howling. But it was for the best, he realised, when Fox mounted him. Thank god for Sam's insistence on fucking Dean silly on a daily basis. Fox would never have fit otherwise. The bed banged against the wall, the springs creaked and Dean made some really embarrassing noises before messing up the bed. Fox didn't let up, just pulled out quickly, pushed Dean to his back and slid back in. The second time Dean came was with his legs in the air being pounded six ways from Sunday. He felt like he was floating and that was a good thing since he would probably not be able to walk again. Ever. Dean scored ten out of ten at anal.

Dean woke up a short while after. Fox was sitting next to him, holding an alarmingly large jar of lube in his hand. "Time for DP," he said and smiled. Dean groaned. DP, he had only tried that a few times and it had never been especially good. He squawked in surprise when the door opened and Sam walked in, in all his naked glory. Sam was Hard with a capital 'H'. And he had that smile on, the smile that turned Dean into goo.

The lube came in handy. Sam was lying down, Dean on his back on top of him, perfectly spitted on Sam's huge dick. Damn the man could hit every right spot inside by just being so big. Dean writhed the best he could but Sam held him still. Fox knelt between their legs. "Does he need more prep or can I just go?"

"Nah," Sam answered. "He's taken both my fist and my cock at the same time to he can handle you too."

"Fisting? That's good. Gives a lot of bonus points." Fox scribbled again, one hand on the pen and the other briskly lubing himself. Dean already had half a gallon of lube in his ass but he figured that there could never be enough lube when these two were about to nail him.

Dean screamed when Fox moved in. He was going to tear up, from his ass all the way up his spine and then they could fight over the remains. When Fox finally bottomed out, Dean was almost unconscious. The pain had morphed into insane pleasure and Sam's teeth, gnawing where he could reach, sent spikes of lightning to match the ones from his ass.

He had no idea how long they were at it. They came inside him, filling him with hot, slippery come, and still they kept going. He could hear himself shouting, begging for their big fat cocks, to split him open and fuck him raw.

Dean could feel the fluid seeping, no not seeping, running, in rivulets from his gaping hole when they finally pulled out off him. He had no idea how many times he had come himself. But he felt totally wrung out. Blissed out. Fucked out.

Dean heard them talk, Sam and Fox. Dean had scored the highest point at DP too and received the certificate for FBI Specialized Bottom. He was now certified to work the toughest cases, the ones very few could handle. Since Sam already had landed his FBI Specialized Top certificate, they were officially a team now. Dean smiled happily. He was gooood.

You are stroking my ego in all the right places now :)Somtimes texts just write themselves. This one did. Really,who can resist DEan and Fox? That it turned out cracky is a different cookie to chew on. Thanks again.