Trying Out Sex Products

Is A Toy Really Going To Replace You In Her Bed?

Before long, she pulled me in close and was ready for the real thing. But I wasn’t done toying around just yet. I was really turned on. So much so that I wanted to try another. (We later tested out the Form 2 in the shower as well, which I strongly recommend).

Next, I pulled out the Stronic Drei by Fun Factory. Now this toy is no joke. It both looks and acts like a penis, only it’s turquoise and ribbed for her pleasure. This was the most intimidating toy of the bunch because, well, the rubber penis was large. She was reluctant to try this one out as well. But after a little teasing, we decided to go for it. Its Drive technology (designed to behave like a thrusting penis for solo use) was a little too much to handle. We actually laughed as the thrusting effect had taken complete control of my arm. It kicked like a damn mule. After about 45 seconds, we tossed this toy aside. The rubber penis continued to bounce on the hardwood floor, which had us laughing until we got intimate again about 10 minutes later.

The next morning, we were ready to go again (though both mildly hungover). This time, I decided on JimmyJane’s Hello Touch — a toy that uses a wristband and battery-operated finger pads to transform your fingers into vibrators. As soon as I strapped it on, I felt like a superhero. Peter Parker became Spider-Man.

The toy was effective, but not as amazing as the Form 2. I liked the fact that it relied on my stroking patterns as much as I did on its vibration. She liked it for its versatility — I was able to stimulate multiple erogenous zones simultaneously. She would later strap the toy on her wrist and touch me with her vibrating fingertips. I was uncomfortable with it at first because I’ve never used a sex toy for my own pleasure. The sensation was surprising and made me jump, but after a few scintillating seconds, I relaxed and let her do her thing. This was a first for me. I could add another checkmark on my to-do list, along with a note: "Vibrating testicular play: Incredible. Do so again. Soon.”

A few days later, I received three bottles of Promescent, an FDA-approved, over-the-counter spray that claims to rid men of premature ejaculation — something I don’t personally suffer from, but is scarily common. One in three men experience PE at some point in their lives.

I did know a friend who — through conversations about sex with his girlfriend — mentioned that he would like to last longer during intercourse. I could tell it was bumming him out, so I figured I’d give him a bottle and have him report back. In the meantime, I would test the product out through one of my favorite pastimes: masturbation.

My first and main concern was: Will it numb my wiener? Will I be able to feel anything? Turns out that it numbs nothing and yes, you feel everything. Since I tend to go for a while (even while masturbating), I hadn’t noticed much of a difference. But my friend definitely did; he said it added a good five minutes to his game. Naturally, I gave him the other samples. His girlfriend was thrilled.

Drawing towards the end of my sexual journey, I figured I’d have some fun with a sex game. Moodsign was the only game-type product I had been sent so I decided to give it a shot. Moodsign claims to promote communication between partners using a card game (containing activities stretching from chore coupons, to foot jobs) and their token Moodsign device, a battery operated gadget used to signify one’s sexual thirst. Basically, the device has two sticks and you raise your stick up to indicate to your partner that you’re in the mood. Instead of, you know, talking or initiating. Watch their demonstration videos to get the full effect.