Friday, June 26, 2009

1. Alex giggled for the first time today. I melted in my pants. Video to come soon.

2. Kelli found "the" dress for her wedding. She cried when she tried it on, which validates my life rule that if you do not cry when you see yourself in a mirror for the first time, that it's not "the" dress for you.

3. I love wine.

4. Confession: I ate a deep fried Oreo today. I only have a smidge of guilt because it was pretty much amazing. Life changing, even. It was so totally worth the extra Shred session that Jillian and I will have tomorrow.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

My brain, however, was pretty certain that yesterday was Tuesday and today was Wednesday. Whatever. Kelli set me straight at about 10 p.m. Nice timing.

But the good and honest truth is that I actually DID weigh myself yesterday (I do it every day...no one would argue with you if you claimed I was obsessive). It was on my Mom's scale because I'm spending a few days in Auburn, so I can't really validate its accuracy. But according to her scale I'm down 0.1 lbs, which is a welcome surprise when you take into consideration the fact that I've spent the better part of 2 days consuming everything in sight that wasn't nailed down.

Step 5: Viola! Get dressed and look like a million bucks. On a cold, wintery day this also provides the extra bonus of getting a warm tooshie for a few minutes.

My mom doesn't understand this. Neither does Joe. But what is awesome is that Joe irons his own clothes (perks of marrying a seasoned bachelor). I haven't touched an iron since...well, I can't remember.

As such, Joe wears the "iron free" Brooks Brothers shirts. I also have a small love affair with our dry cleaner. But as far as the shirts, he has one in nearly every color and pattern. Due to our, um, hectic schedule of late, the pile of "please iron me" shirts on the ironing board in the basement got to be a smidge out of control. As in, the man was rotating the same 3 shirts to work on a bi-weekly basis. So, as a somewhat delayed Father's Day nicety, I spent the better part of 4 hours on Monday ironing said pile.

That should just about do it for my wifely ironing requirement for about a year, no?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I don't really have the time or energy to provide you with anything fun today. But you do have a few things to look forward to: recap of Miss Michigan weekend, review of The Hangover and the reason behind why I never, ever iron (except for yesterday).

Before I go down an entire pot of coffee, three things come top of mind:

1. Perez Hilton. Finally got what has been coming to him for a long, long time.

2. Jon & Kate + 8. Trainwreck. But I can't look away.

3. Ed McMahon. So, so sad.

P.S. - Notsomuch looking forward to Weigh In Wednesday. Let's just say that Momma Mary baked some Ghirardelli brownies this weekend that I could. not. resist.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Today I was going to blog about something. I was going to be charming, witty, delightful, etc., etc. I was going to use my literary genius to make you love and adore me more than you already do.

But instead, I've been bamboozled into the perfect morning. I'm sitting here in my dimly lit dining room with a delicious cup of Christmas Blend Starbucks (I made Joe save ONE bag for when I wasn't PG); Alex is sleeping soundly in his swing next to the running dishwasher (awesome mom trick #23,559; washer/dryer has the same effect); hubby just smooched me goodbye on his way off to work; and the adjacent windows are open and it's gloriously warm outside and also raining cats and dogs. The. Perfect. Morning.

I shall revel in this moment while I peruse the other blogs I stalk read. Then, it's time to finish packing for Sister Weekend 2009. That's right, the girls are goin' OUT! We're off to Muskegon for the Miss Michigan pageant and to generally cause other shenanigans on the West side of the Mitten. (For those not in the know, my sister is sort of a big deal. Click here, here, or here for details.)

PS - My road trip also means it's Joe's first ever solo time with Alex. Perhaps we can have him guest blog about his experience next week?

PPS - (Or is it PSS? I always screwed it up in love notes as a youth.) We gave Alex a bath last night and I used these ready-to-use-pre-soaped-disposable nighttime washcloths. Mom rating? 10+++++!!! This particular box was a gift, but I am totally and completely prepared to pay out the nose to buy more. They are fan-freaking-tastic AND there's a "regular" version. I know, I know...I can get the same thing from a far cheaper bottle of nighttime wash and a washcloth, but I'm still not totally a fan of bath time and will do anything to reduce my anxiety over it. And it's not because I think Alex is going to drown or anything, I just don't like that he can't play and enjoy it just yet. I'm weird. I know. Oh, and the matching nighttime lotion? Smells delicious!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Alex had his 2 month well visit yesterday morning, but we almost didn't make it. Allow me to tell you why...

Joe got up with him at about 6 am - fed him, changed him, and put him in his swing. Best husband ever. I told you. Before he left for work, he woke me up to tell me that Alex was sleeping soundly in the living room. Usually, this little morning sleep party only lasts for like 20-40 minutes after Joe leaves, so I decided to snag some more sleep while I could.

Much to my surprise (and delight), I woke up on my own at 9:11 am. I moseyed into the living room to check on my still sleeping baby boy and thought to myself, "Self, I think Alex's appointment is at 10:30, but you should check your planner to be sure." I opened my little blue book, and about crapped my pants when I saw, "Alex - Dr. - 9:30 am."

In the moments that followed, I: called Joe in a tizzy, peed, brushed my hair, put in my contacts, brushed my teeth, swiped my face with astringent (told you it comes in handy), put on deodorant, sprayed some body spray, changed my clothes, put my hair in a ponytail, woke Alex up, changed his diaper AND his clothes, made a bottle, packed the diaper bag, got him in the carseat and both of us out the door.

Please note that ALL of the above happened in NINE MINUTES, FLAT. From the timestamp on my phone when I called Joe to the moment I kicked the car in reverse was nine minutes. I am amazing. It can't be denied.

Our little man is right on track! He also got 4 immunizations...1 orally and 3 shots. He took it almost like a champ. He was happy as a clam until about 1.5 seconds after the first poke. Then he screamed bloody freakin' murder for about 45 seconds and then calmed down and just looked pissed off. Sorry, buddy...but it's for your own good!

He slept most of the day away, which was nice. I woke him up about every 5 hours to give him Tylenol to keep him as pain-free as possible. He's back to his normal, adorable self today!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The week has been fab...difficult, but fab nonetheless. I had been doing level 1 of The Shred for about a week, and decided to ramp it up to level 2 to keep from getting bored. Everyone in my family that's doing it said level 2 was"so much easier" than level 1...LIARS! All of them! Level 2 is the hardest. thing. ever. Maybe even harder than childbirth. Seriously - as I sat in my own cesspool of sweat after the most excruciating 20 minutes of my life, I wondered how I was going to lift Alex from his swing when he woke up because I could not feel my arms. True story.

I also bought the Wii Fit and started adding that to the routine a few days ago. It's not like a super hard workout, but it's something fun that Joe and I can do in the evenings together...plus it tracks your progress with BMI and weight, which I really like. So far, so good.

The eating is going well. Every time I want to eat something delicious and fattening and gooey, I reach for a stupid banana or portion-controlled 100 calorie pack and down a big glass of water. Lifesavers, those things.

So, now it's time for you to post your progress. How did YOU do this week?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I was sincerely hoping that the whole thyroid problem (hyper, hypo? not sure...) I was diagnosed with during pregnancy was just pregnancy related and that it would go away once WIP was removed from my insides. My doctor said it's usually 50/50 - some women have to continue the meds, others don't.

I figured my chances were slim to none, since my Dad has the same thing and it's hereditary. But I was holding out hope, since I hate taking medicine and also have the memory of a gnat, so I often forget to take such things. Also, you're supposed to take the pill first thing in the morning on an empty stomach and not eat FOR AN HOUR. Uncool.

Well, my meds ran dry a few days ago and I simply forgot to fill the prescription. I noticed yesterday that I was super duper tired and sluggish and just couldn't put my finger on it. A full pot of coffee later, it dawned on me: stupid thyroid. Stupid medicine.

I refilled it today, and will do so every month for the rest. of. my. life.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Joe, Alex and I had ourselves a nice little Sunday: church, breakfast, nap. Then we got a strange burst of energy (courtesy of our friend, SF Red Bull) and decided to pawn Alex off on our faboo neighbor, Sue...who also happens to be a Grandma-in-training. Joe and I all but squealed the tires on the Jeep to head out shopping for everything necessary to do our summer planting.

And presto! changeo! our yard looks AWESOME. Also, since Alex was being rocked on Sue's front porch, that means he was o.u.t.s.i.d.e. all day.

Time to open a bottle of wine, kick back and let him sleep for hours on end.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Last weekend we went to my cousin's graduation party. Thusly, Alex was outside for pretty much most of the day. They say that fresh air is good for babies and helps them to sleep longer, so I was curious to put it to the test that night.

There was a Wings game on, so Joe had him asleep at about 7 pm. (Those not in the know, my husband is a wee bit [read: ridiculously] superstitious, and since Alex was sleeping when the Wings won the previous game, he must also be sleeping in order for them to win subsequent games. This also holds true for all food/beverages consumed during a winning game. Or activities. Or things said. Or clothes worn. Whatever.)

Anyway, he slept from about 7-10 pm. We fed him, changed him, and hypnotized him back to sleep at about 10:45...AND HE DIDN'T WAKE UP AGAIN UNTIL 5:15 am!

Imagine my delight when I woke up and glanced at the clock. Well, I really didn't 'glance' since I am nearly blind as a bat. I more or less stumbled around in a seemingly drunken stupor until I found my glasses...but then it was still really dark so I had to pretty much Helen Keller the clock on the wall until I saw/felt 5:15. At which point I thought the clock was surely wrong/innacurate/out of batteries and searched for my cell phone which never tells a time lie, thanks to GPS or whatever government top secret entity keeps time. Do you see how nothing is ever easy in my life? Not even telling the freakin' time.

Anyway, my cell phone confirmed it was, in fact, 5:15 am and I was absolutely elated over his long length of slumber. I was so excited that I am guilty of pretty much proclaiming it to anyone with ears. But strangely, the first thing out of people's mouths was always, "Were you scared?" Honestly, at least 15 women have had that response.

Peoplepeoplepeople...why the h-e-double-hockey-sticks would I be scared? I was delighted! Overjoyed! Dancin' on the ceiling with Lionel Ritchie, in fact!

Apparently, most first time moms should be "scared" the first time their baby sleeps a long stretch like that. Because it's been too long since he ate? Because he could have ran away? Seriously! He's SLEEPING...which means IIIIIIII am sleeping!!!!!!

Since that day, I've made it my mission to get Alex outside for at least one hour every day. Right now, he's in his swing by the front screen door, breathing in that beautiful, glorious, sleep-inducing air. Do they can this stuff? Where can I buy it?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Oy. I've been anxious to post this one for some time now, but wanted to give the world and all its money hungry medical giants ample time to send me all of its bills.

HOLY CRAP IT IS EXPENSIVE TO HAVE A BABY.

Seriously, if you're out in the world having frivolous, unprotected sex, get yo' self some birth control ASAP. Unless you're trying to have a baby, and then by all means, carry on and prosper! Unless, of course, you don't have health insurance...then GO GET A CONDOM!

Let's review the numbers, shall we?

- Bill from Anesthesia Associates - $2,222.00 (before insurance)- Bill from OBGYN - $257.00 (after insurance...they only show that portion on the bill...I can only imagine what it was without it)- Bill for Alex's care - $3,601.61 (before insurance)- Bill for my care/everything else - $14,896.82 (before insurance)TOTAL cost (minus what I don't know from the OBGYN) - $20,977.43

All I can say is thank you, corporate job, for your insurance. I complain about you a lot and actually rarely enjoy being inside your 4 walls, but today I actually appreciate you and all you are.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Ok, ladies and germs. It's time to become accountable. I hereby declare today, Wednesday, June 10, 2009, the beginning of Project Wedding, or PW as it shall be known as henceforth.

Yesterday at lunch, Kelli asked me to be the Matron of Honor at her wedding. As if there was anyone else that could do the job! I obviously said "yes!" and will be so honored to stand by her side on the day she and David become one. I love weddings. Total. Sap.How-EV-er, I will not do so as a big, fat piggy. I will be hot and sultry and delicious...I will be the bridesmaid that all the groomsmen want to get drunk and hit on. Okokok, so this is totally not that kind of wedding, nor is it that kind of wedding party, but you get my point.

The week after Alex was born I jumped on the bandwagon and bought the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred. I've been shredding for 4 days now and can strangely already see a difference...if nothing else, in my endurance and ability to walk straight at the end of the 20, excruciating minutes. Once my incision is totally healed, I will begin to run at least 30 minutes a day...ugh.

And so it begins! Wednesdays will move from being Hump Day, Bump Day to being my official "weigh in" days and I will broadcast the numbers TO THE ENTIRE INTERNETS to keep me accountable. Weigh-in Wednesdays, if you will. How apropos.

Don't get all excited, I will not be divulging my starting weight. Just the poundage lost per week. No one needs to know those numbers.

If there's anyone out there that wants to join me, feel free. You can publish your progress on Wednesdays in the comments section.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I was cleaning out the junk drawer (so ironic) in the kitchen today and found my stash of Enfamil and Similac coupons I was hoarding for the fated day that Alex went off the boob. *Snaps* for that day arriving!I've already made my case for why I don't pay my left arm and right leg for these brands, but I understand there are some moms that still do. And that's ok. I'm here to save you some moolah.

I have 6 Similac coupons valued at $5 each and 2 Enfamil coupons ($2 and $3) - that's $35 in savings! If you want 'em, they're yours - just shoot me an email at kveedub@gmail.com with your mailing address and I will send them your way. First to email gets 'em!

My Mom and Dad have recently remodeled/redecorated their entire house. Walls have been torn down, floors have been replaced and even the ceilings have been, um, reinforced. (Long story.) Anyway, upon our visit home this weekend, I discovered that the only thing in the house that hasn't been totally replaced or improved is the shower in the downstairs bathroom. They built the house just before Kelli was born, so it's very weird to see the only home I knew as a child to be so vastly different.

Anyway, my Mom bought one of those little word decoration thingys for the kitchen that says "Simplify," and it inspired me to post a few things that I've learned in my almost 8 weeks as a Mom that have helped to simplify my life.

- Laundry: I do at least one load a day now instead of waiting until the weekend to do it all. It makes the weekends more enjoyable and also helps to keep a good supply of Alex's clothes/burpcloths/bibs clean.

- Bottles: We keep a big bowl in the sink and whenever a bottle is dirty, we drop it in the bowl with warm water and soap. Whoever is at the sink next usually washes them up and puts them on the rack to dry. It's never overwhelming, which is nice.

- Night feedings: After I put Alex to sleep for the night, I put the Boppy, a bib and a burp cloth on the chair I feed him in. I also set a glass of water out for me. Then, in the kitchen, I have the bottle prefilled with 4 oz. of water so when I wake up it's just a matter of grabbing Alex, dumping in the formula and feeding him. Leaning out the process!

Those are just three little things, but I think they've each helped tremendously. Take this knowledge, go forth and prosper.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Kelli turned in the keys to her apartment last week. But it wasn't just any apartment. It was MY apartment. My first home all by myself.

When I graduated from WMU (Go Broncos!) in May of 2005, I moved over to the east side of the state, specifically Rochester Hills, for a job. I still remember the day Mom, Kelli and I came apartment hunting and I found it - "the one." 'Twas perfect: giant bedroom, tons of counter space in the bathroom, walk up 2nd floor, nice kitchen/dining, great storage, laundry room...I signed the dotted line that very day.

That apartment (lovingly known as 1466) has been good to me, and a LOT has happened there. It began the day I moved in...trekking the three hours from Kalamazoo with Katy, my dad, the U Haul, a box of bagels and the worst hangover of my life. I threw up the bagel somewhere between 94 and 14. Once I was in, I started making my memories...

Many boys picked me up there for our first (and last) dates; Keliann and I have eaten at least 1,458 orders of La Shish hummus from the floor; it was where Joe picked me up for our first date; it was where he awkwardly kissed me for the first time (and then subsequently ran down the stairs faster than a cheetah); my bf and I spent the better part of an entire evening (when we could have been at a bar) hanging mirrors from IKEA, instead; for at least a month, I lived on nothing but Stove Top and boxed wine; my bachelorette party was held within those walls; I paid my own bills; I made all the decisions; it was my home.

When Kelli moved home from California, it was perfect timing. I was about to marry Joe, so she took over my lease. We were roomies for a few months, and it was some of the best times that 1466 has ever (and will ever) seen.

I always said that place was magical. Great things happened there. And it is so, so, so fitting that one of the last stories we can tell of 1466 was when David proposed to Kelli.

So although it's the end of an era, and one I am very, very sad about, I know that whoever takes the keys to 1466 next has great things in store. It worked for me. It worked for Kelli.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Alex has his first non-family babysitter yesterday...and Mommy got a 'lil break! My friend and coworker, Kim, had the week off and offered to come chill with him for awhile to allow me to sleep, shop...whatever. Actually, she didn't offer. She told me. And it was the best thing, ever. People are always offering to come help, hold him, etc. and my response is always, "Oh, yes...that would be wonderful!" But I've never had the guts to actually take someone up on it. Mommy guilt, maybe? Anyway, Kim sent me an email and was like, "Pick a day. I'll be there." Best. Ever. An offer I couldn't refuse!!

Kim arrived about 9:30 a.m. and I gave her the grand tour. Obvi, she's better at this whole babysitting thing than I am at the Mom thing because she asked where the nearest Urgent Care was and where I had the Pediatrician number written. Ohhhh yes, let me just scramble into the kitchen and scurry to scribble down this here important numbers list that I swear I've had all along... :)

I waltzed out the door without a care in the world and list 100 things long to get done.- Purchase another SwaddleMe at BRU with a coupon. Resist everything else in that store because it's priced 15% higher than it should be. Check.- Return a myriad of items to Macy's, Payless, Old Navy, Claire's & JCPenney. Check. (Hey...when you're scrambling to find an outfit to wear to a friend's wedding with a 1 month old in tow, you just buy everything in sight, take it home to try on and then return the crap that makes you look fat. Which was pretty much everything. Don't judge. You know you do it, too.)- Purchase new pants,tank top, cute sweater, shoes and sunglasses while "taking things back." Check.- Stick tongue out at Motherhood store as I passed it because I NEVER HAVE TO SHOP THERE AGAIN. Check.- Texted Joe - "I forgot what silence sounded like. This is bliss." Check.- Scour party store for items for Keliann's upcoming baby shower. Check.- Run into Target to grab more formula only to scan the clearance clothes racks and uncover a GOLDMINE. Check.- At same Target, discover that since Pampers is phasing out their old boxes and thusly have all of the giant, value boxes on clearance and purchase 5 boxes. Check. (A little over $100 for over 600 diapers and 700 wipes. Yeah. I'm awesome. People were also staring at my cart like I was a crazy mother of twelve, but whatever.)- Lunch at Jimmy John's. (Turkey Tom, no mayo. Most delicious thing on earth.) Check. Also, it was FREE because my punch card was finally full!- ONE HOUR MASSAGE OF GLORIOUS GOODNESS. Check. Checkity. Check. Check. Check.

I came home to find Kim, aka the baby whisperer, and my sister sharing home ownership stories in the dining room. Alex was out like a light in Kim's arms.

Kim offered to stay a little longer so I could complete the last thing on my list: grocery shopping. Kelli came with me and I taught her the awesomeness of shopping with coupons (David, you're welcome). This trip? $35.74 saved. Word to yo' momma.

We came home, had a lovely taco dinner and called it a night. I actually went to bed because it was 10 p.m. and that is the time that one should go to bed, not because I was so exhausted I could hardly remember my name.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

David proposed to Kelli on Memorial Weekend...and she said YES! Two shocking tidbits about this: 1) Kelli is actually getting married, and b) David absolutely surprised her. (She's always said that girls who didn't know when boys were going to propose were "dumb.")

Which would explain why Joe, Alex and I were at Kelli's apartment until half past never o'clock on Sunday (You know, the fated Duct tape night?). Joe and I were tasked with preparing Kelli's apartment for the proposal...roses, champagne, candles, chocolate covered strawberries, balloons...the works. David texted us when they were about 30 minutes away, then we lit the candles and vamoosed outta there!

This was the scene (much cooler with the lights off):

And the happy couple:

Alex was a very sneaky accomplice (the blanket wrapped the other way around him was my brilliant duct tape alternate):

Monday, June 1, 2009

To piggyback off my top ten list of things I could not live without, here's a list of the top five things I think are overrated. (Not enough time to type ten...I probably only have 7 minutes until total sonic meltdown of "Moooooooooooooom. Come feeeeeeeeeeed me this second or I will surely dieeeeeee!")

1. Dreft. Yes, it smells yummy and reminds people of babies. However, Tide Free (or All Free & Clear) is about $4 less and is hypoallergenic/scent free/ok to use. Over the course of that kid's life, that $4 will multiply into a trip to Disney.

2. Car seat protector mats. I can't take the credit for the genius of this idea, for we learned it in Madelyn's class on the carseat safety video. Instead of spending the $20 on the real deal, go to Wal-Mart and get a roll of the cabinet shelf liner - you know, the stuff that is squishy and grippy and looks like mini waffles? Use that instead. Works like a charm and saves you some serious moolah.

3. Facewash and toothpaste. Ha. This one is for mommy. What used to be your "before bed" or "morning" routine no longer exists. Your day is one big blur of semi-conscious feedings, changings and entertainings. Get yourself some cotton balls, astringent and mouthwash. That's your new morning routine. And, trust me, at 3 am when you feel fat, gross and smelly...a swipe of astringent and a swish of Listerine makes you feel like a totally new woman.

4. Baby washcloths. Yes, they are tiny and sweet and irresistible, but what can they do that a grown up washcloth cannot? Plus, you already OWN grown up washcloths.

5. Quality lunchtime. Exhibit A: I'm sitting here in our dining room, typing with one hand and scarfing down a can of Progresso soup (Weight Watchers, thankyouverymuch) and a few Wheat Thins (reduced fat, thankyouverymuchagain) in the aforementioned 7 minutes before sonic meltdown begins indicating the need for nourishment of the little one. Enjoy your meals while they are still your own. :)

6. Ooooh, there's time for a #6!Similac and Enfamil. Being the very savvy shoppers we are, Joe and I were very curious about the "off brand" or "store brand" baby formulas. I had compared labels here and there and really could never find a difference in nutrients or ingredients. And even with the very tempting $3-5 off coupons Similac and Enfamil send in the mail from time to time, they are still anywhere from $10-20 more expensive per can depending on where you shop. So, we asked our pediatrician and he actually gave us the whole story of how the "store brand" came to be. Apparently, there used to be a 3rd key player in the baby formula market (can't remember the name), but it's now the brand that is most popular in Europe. Eventually, this company couldn't compete with the ad buying/promotional power that Enfamil and Similac had in the United States, so they approached all the big chain stores and slowly became canned and labeled as their "store" brand. There is no difference! We actually get the Target brand, which is now called "Up and Up." At $11 for the big can, you can't beat it. It's only $0.90 more than the Costco brand and Alex finds it to be most delicious.

In other news, Alex went to his first baseball game on Saturday. Gramii and Papi took us to the Loons game in Midland. It was SO fun!! And he even got to see his first fireworks!