10 Songs Remixed To Death

Every now and then, a song comes along and for whatever reason, every nerd out there with some illegally downloaded production software decides to give us “their take” on it. At some point, a song becomes quite like a dead horse–a decaying mound of flesh, bone, and coarse hair, defenseless and undeserving of a continued pummeling. It is so obvious to most of us when to stop beating a horse, but there are always a few lingerers who–maybe because they’re high on adrenaline–continue to pound away well after the point of death. Guys, you’re beating a dead horse.

If you were thinking about remixing any of these 10 songs, reconsider. Here are 10 songs that have been remixed to death…

Words by Confusion, Monster, & Constant GardnerConcept by Jobe

Adele- “Rolling In The Deep”

If you can hear and do not live a feral lifestyle in the wilderness, you have heard this song many, many times. It’s a great song, so no matter how sick of it you may get, it’s hard to hate. So, it’s great and it’s overplayed. What makes producers think it needs a remix? We don’t fuck around with remakes of this one unless it’s a double remix. Bow down to that most risky of undertakings: the rapper-feature double remix!

One that worked:

Adele – “Rolling In The Deep (Jamie xx Remix)(ft. Childish Gambino)”

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Phoenix – “1901”

It’s kind of rock, it’s kind of pop, and it’s got a lot of synths. It’s like challenging a brute to a tug-of-war match–too tempting not to try to force this in one overwhelming direction or another. Ugh, you smell that heaping pile of shitty remixes? Luckily, RAC and remixes go together like distinguished gentlemen and suits. As always, well played, sirs.

One that worked:

Phoenix – “1901 (RAC Remix”)

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M.I.A. – “Paper Planes”

Occasionally a song being remixed to death isn’t entirely a bad thing, more a reflection of how good it is. “Paper Planes” has been remixed, rapped on, and sampled by everyone from Diplo to Kanye to Ad-Rock to Bun-B, but it seems like the kind of song that can’t been ruined (like when you think the horse is dead, then you look at it for a while and see that it blinks–resume the beating). It sounds as good as ever in this DFA remix, which starts off unrecognizable, becomes great and ends up a different song all together.

One that worked:

M.I.A. – “Paper Planes (DFA Remix)”

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Lil Wayne – “How To Love”

Face it, Lil Wayne made a pop song. And it’s not a sexually charged fuck song disguised as pop, either. It’s a sensitive, simple, and devastatingly catchy pop song. Trying to flip it into a dubstep banger or electro-funk party starter simply isn’t going to work.

One that worked:

This has never worked.

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Passion Pit – “Sleepyhead”

The indie hit that slowly bubbled until it was boiling over. It’s one of those songs that, while coming very close, never completely broke into the mainstream. This probably led everyone who heard it to think they had discovered it. This is a joy to regular listeners, but in producers it triggers an ugly, uncontrollable urge to remix. The hard hitting beat usually causes that knee jerk reaction to turn this one into something filthy, but Starsmith and Ellie lighten it up for an unexpected twist.

One that worked:

Passion Pit – “Sleepyhead” (Starsmith Remix ft. Ellie Goulding)

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Drake – Anything He Releases

I always insist: Drake is remixed so frequently because he seems welcoming. Like, if he heard a remix of one of his own songs, he’d probably smile and say he liked it, even if he didn’t. It’s hard to say if this is true or not, but it seems true. And it seems true because Drake has wide-set eyes. No man with eyes that wide-set could possibly get mad. Can Drake even scowl? He can not. Once he tried, and he simply went cross-eyed for a day. This apparent kindness has given producers the idea that everything this man releases should be remixed hundreds of times. Drake won’t be mad. In fact, you can have half his sandwich if you want. Gladly.

One that worked:

A-Trak x Drake x Birdman – “Loonies To Blow”

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Grizzly Bear – “Two Weeks”

Much as Drake’s welcoming eyes invite producers to have a crack at his songs, the jaunty keys running through “Two Weeks” matched with lead singer Edward Droste’s high-flying falsetto makes the potential remixer certain that Grizzly Bear would love a few new versions of one of their standout tracks, and certainly wouldn’t be the kind of people to argue about it. At worst they might cough nervously in disapproval, and at best they may throw some kind of thank you party, so no harm in trying right?

One that worked:

Grizzly Bear – “Two Weeks (Fred Falke Remix)”

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Ellie Goulding – “Starry Eyed”

What kind of sick, twisted freak would want to cut up someone’s Valentine’s day card into hundreds of pieces, smear it with blood, and then stick it back together with mud? I’ll tell you who, the same kind of maniac who would want to cut up Ellie Goulding’s sparkly love song, add in some airhorn and pitch up the vocals to chipmunk level. Nightmare. Potential remixers take note of Joker–if you leave the main vocals pretty much untouched you can create a great rework that adds to the original rather than destroys it (and then give it away for free).

One that worked:

Ellie Goulding – “Starry Eyed (Joker’s Bait Drum Remix)”

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Aloe Blacc – “I Need A Dollar”

Any sort of chart success is like a big red flag waved in front of the snorting, stampeding, indiscriminate horde of bulls that will represent bedroom producers in this slightly clumsy metaphor, and the extended time “I Need A Dollar” spent in the spotlight has spawned innumerable remixes spanning both many genres and many levels of success. Sure, the chorus is catchy, and yes there is a great soul vibe, but that doesn’t mean you and your illegally downloaded production software are going to make a hit remix, okay? Marky doesn’t try to stretch this one out too much, he just flipped it into a hip-hop song and it sounds pretty good that way.

One that worked:

Aloe Blacc – “I Need A Dollar (Marky Rasta Monsta Remix)”

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La Roux – “In For The Kill”

When La Roux is mentioned, one tends to think of the crystalline voiced, gravity-defyingly quiffed singer Elly Jackson, and it is often forgotten that La Roux is actually a duo completed by highly talented electro-pop loving producer Ben Langmaid. Thus, any producer lacking inspiration knows that with the catchy synth melodies and the kind of powerful vocals that cut through any overproduction already in place, whatever ridiculous songfuckery they decide upon, it will be impossible to make something truly unlistenable. One producer who certainly isn’t lacking in inspiration is Skream, and the success of his utterly perfect, slow building “Let’s Get Ravey Remix” unfortunately spawned a lot more horrible dubstep remixes, as well as almost single handedly dragging bass music into mainstream clubs. Nothing touches Skream’s version.

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