Oct 17, 2007

I put Mum to bed a while ago with echinacea tea and steamy soup and a spoon and now she is watching Bonanza and behaving just like a child. She told me Hoss is my friend, look how big he is on that horse next to all the others! I chide her to stop laughing because it makes her cough, but it is a reluctant rebuke because I like to hear her laugh.

It has been raining all morning. After I put on a sweater and my warm socks I went around opening all the windows just enough to let the rain sounds in and keep the cold out. I didn't have any energy to open the Spinet or to play Beethoven. I am tired from waking up so often in the night. So tired that my mind is frozen. So tired my eyes glue when they rest. The rain is very soft and mournful. It permits whispers at most. So in whispers I helped Con with his school today. He has discovered the thee-sorus. In whispers I congratulated him heartily. There are a pretty few things better in this Life than thee-sorusses. While he was perusing his newfound tool I watched Mom reading to K at the kitchen table even though she was positively pneumonic and needed to rest, and the rain was falling gently and it made me smile and sad and solemn at the same time.

Roberta said two nice things to me today. I can't figure it. I think she is making attempts at amends for her sulkiness of yesterday. The first was when I passed through the schoolroom and she was at work and looked at me and said You look pretty! I smiled, cause I didn't look pretty. The second I don't think was meant to be a compliment at all and that made it the nicer one. It was Ah, Chris I could recognize your hum anywhere.