Friday, September 10, 2010

In my dreams, my boyfriend is a jerkface.

So, as you know...Inspector Climate is, well to put it simply, amazing.

To quote Marshall from How I Met Your Mother - "relationships are hard, but on some level it has to be easy, and if it isn't easy than she isn't the one"...It's easy with Inspector Climate. In fact, besides that one time he's been...well, amazing. It's been bliss ya'll.

So, to sum up. I don't worry if he is/isn't friends with his exes. I love that he has friends that are girls...I am not uncomfortable about any of that...at all. I swear. Seriously, I couldn't be more confident in us. And I realise this has gotten to the point where I am now sounding so enthusiastic that you're doubting my sincerity - but don't because this is genuine. We're in love, the end.

Except...

Except in my dreams, Inspector Climate is a major jerkface. In my dreams, Inspector Climate is ALWAYS dating someone else, usually a close friend of mine or a relative. And they are sickeningly cute together and I sit by and ache for him. Yeah, that's how my dreams go. I wake up feeling lonely and hurt that the boy I love so dearly rubs his new found love in my face (or guilts me into going running with him because his NEW girlfriend (my cousin) goes running with him all the time, and looks great in spandex. That bitch).

Same, I too always have bad dreams of Martin doing uncharacteristically un-Martin, mean, things. In fact, this morning, Martin had to shake me awake because I was sobbing in my sleep and the minute I saw him I started bawling full on because he was with someone else in my dream.

I put it down to the fact that I can't believe I've got someone so great and my subconscious likes to punish and tease me.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I mean, I know it's not fun, three years down and I still have it every now and then, but I don't believe it reflects real life. I think it just reflects personal confidence and worth, which when you are with someone so great should lift and grow but us women are weird and instead start freaking out that we are going to lose it.

I don't know how to fix it though. Haha. Except reassurance that these lovely men are amazing and would never intentionally hurt the people they love. Which is you.

My dreams always get the best of me, but then again, my dreams always seem to have some truth to them. I think in your case, maybe it is the fear that since he's such a great guy, he just HAS to have a fault. Sometimes we don't believe we deserve the gifts we get. Well girlie, you deserve him :)