From Utah To Germany. This Is My Story.

Where I am

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January 13, 2010

I returned from a 10 day road-trip to forecasts of storm of the decade snow. I woke up to find an e-mail in my mailbox that encouraged me to stock up on "medicines and food" because all hell was going to break loose in the heavens and I wasn't leaving my house for days. CRAP. At this point I've been gone for 10 days and frankly, after looking in the fridge, I'm pretty confident that Jess was living on peanut butter and Diet Coke while I was gone - P.S. thanks Carrie. Not that this is surprising but this did mean that I needed to hit the store.

We have a grocery store on the army post that is divinely American. I mean there are aisles upon aisles of cereals, and pop-tarts and Lean Cuisines. All of the stuff that you can find in the good old US of A. Did I mention that they even have ice cream? Oh my. This may seem silly to you, but after spending hours and hours peeking behind every crevice in a German store because, by god, they must have ice cream only to throw yourself on the floor because they don't and tomorrow is Sunday and the whole world will be closed, and you just wish you were in America for a split second because America would NOT do this to you. Do you know what that feels like? Didn't think so. Anyhow, so I need to hit this store after receiving this e-mail about "medicines and food", but come on now, it's not snowing yet, so I'm thinking this is going to be just a typical grocery shopping experience. Until I get there and HOLY SHIT apparently people were taking this e-mail to heart. There was not one basket or cart left anywhere. The aisles were barren and food was strewn everywhere. The check-out line weaved in and out of all of the freezer sections. My grocery store looked like Katrina had just happened and the looters had moved in. I just stood there pissed. I was tired. I had been traveling for 10 days - I did not have time for this crap. I feel I had no other option but to take what I needed and leave. Now I know this is frowned upon, but you did not see the horror of that line! Perhaps I'm telling you this because I've been in about a zillion churches in the past 2 months and my conscious may be feeling a smidgen guilty.

December 28, 2009

Jess and I spent the x-mas holiday in Austria. We had an absolutely wonderful time despite the incessant rain the first day, a blown out edge of a ski the second day and returning home to NO heat and NO hot water the third day.

I hope your holidays were equally as eventful and wonderful.

There were para-gliders taking off all around us as we ate our lunch at the top of the mountain after a morning of skiing. I definitely have to do this before I die.

December 23, 2009

I live in Germany. Permanently. Weird. Still getting used to the idea. Sorry, I haven't been around in oh, 6 months, is it? It just so happens that shutting down a business (kind of), shipping things across that vast body of water called the Atlantic, dragging ourselves - with two psychotic dogs - from Utah to Maryland only to hop on a plane for way too long, only to get out and have another 5 hour drive, only to land at a hotel with one suitcase that you are expected to live in until...the end of time, then to live at said hotel for 6 weeks and then, and then, and then. You get my drift. Lame excuses, I know. BUT THE STORIES THAT I HAVE FOR YOU! And now after what seemed like a lifetime, I HAVE THE INTERNET!!

So forgive my absence, please. Pretty please.? With cherries on top? I promise to post more. If you'll read.

Cheers,

Sarah

P.S. This is my house. I am sitting in the second story far right window right this instant. Hello!

July 17, 2009

This is such a long twisted story, how could I possibly sum it up in....a novel?

It all starts a few months back when I borrowed my friend's karaoke machine for a party. It had a lot of potential to be lame - I will be the first to admit that, but it was anything but - IN FACT, it was awesome. So awesome that I completely wore my voice out singing until the wee hours of the night. And then waking up early to sing more. Seriously, wait until you hear my Total Eclipse Of The Heart, you'll be all WOAH...maybe...

The love for this karaoke machine almost ruined said friendship because I refused to return her calls just knowing she couldn't wait to get her grubby little paws on my new found happiness. Really, it's the equivalent of making someone smoke crack, leaving them with a massive 8 ball and telling them you'll be back in 10 days and don't touch. I don't know this for a fact, but after my years dealing with addicts I can imagine that this is approximately 1 trillion times worse.

This is me at 8:00am in the morning.

When I finally, reluctantly, because my husband told me it was the right thing to do, gave the machine back, my friend was all "dude, I totally have hook-ups in the Philippines - chill". "WHAT?"

Sure enough...4 LOOONG months later and after her parents have taken a trip to the Philipines, I am a proud owner of a EXTREME Magic Sing Karaoke Machine. It's Awesome. 2100 songs, 2 cordless microphones - seriously - as I was belting out Against All Odds there was this river sound...then a giggle...then a flush...then Jess running out of the bathroom laughing hysterically. Not funny. At all. Nobody fucks with Phil Collins.

July 10, 2009

Salt Lake City in the evening after a hot July day is hard to beat. It cools off to a nice arid 70 degrees and the mountains provide a gorgeous backdrop. The only thing better than sitting in my backyard sipping on a lemonade is sitting up at Red Butte Gardens with a few girlfriends, sipping on wine and rocking out to the Indigo Girls. Did I mention there was a full moon?

July 07, 2009

I came across this yesterday and was all is this a joke? Because I'm pretty sure no human would willingly subject themselves or their pets to such a thing.

Then I did. Much to my relief my dogs were not only uninterested, but they actually got up off their doggie dozers, looked at me like WTF and walked out of the room. Let's hope my kids feel the same way about Barney.

The YouTube comments are priceless:

"If you think this song﻿ is cool. Take a 44 magnum and shoot yourself in the face." Well, that seems a little drastic.

"geez my dawg didn't give a shit to this.. and this was maybe the most mindraping song ever. Total bs" What is a mindrape anyway?﻿

"great my dog just had a shit fit and ripped the cable tv box out and broke it. thanks﻿ freaking song. you owe me a cable box." I owe you a cable box?

"Are you a dog? How would﻿ you know they're not happy, on the inside?" Are you a dog? How do you know that they're not all TURN THIS SHIT OFF, on the inside".

1. I lost my phone last week on my way to Maine. Somewhere between Salt Lake City, and New York City. I think. I was positive I left it on the plane, but now I'm doing that whole "maybe I had it in Times Square?" Or "did I have it at Starbucks?" "Did I give it to someone to hold?" "Maybe that weird chick with the boots who was eyeing me in the bathroom took it?" People - don't go down this road. It is a slippery slope. One that will lead you to call Tmobile 5 times until you get the one customer service representative that will indeed tell you that yes your phone was in NEW YORK CITY even though they shouldn't be divulging that kind of information, but you've cried and pleaded and spent 12 minutes explaining what your phone means to you, all of the numbers and contacts that are nowhere else, and how you're depressed about all of the text messages you're sure to be getting over this holiday weekend that you're going to miss. And when she says "Well surely you've backed it up?" you quickly hang up. Because you haven't. Because you haven't gotten that far in phone 101. Because you suck.

2. Jess's phone decided to shit the bed. Only because I lost my phone. I haven't checked my messages in 48 hours. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I am just positive that I have 24 messages all from buyer's ready to put offers on my real estate listings but I am not responsive. AHHHHHHH.

3. Jess and I went for a trail run in Maine yesterday. In a bog without bug repellent. I won't even tell you the places I have bug bites.

4. It's 2:30am and I am wide awake. The 3 hour nap on the plane was not a good idea.

5. I'm moving to Germany and still am completely averse to learning the language. No bueno. See?

July 03, 2009

This is us at the top of Mt. Washington. Freezing our asses off. They say that the mountain has 235 days of "crap" weather a year. Crap is an understatement considering how windy, wet, and cold it was. Despite how soggy we were, Jess and I ran down the mountain. Because we are bad-asses.

June 25, 2009

I am obsessed with the idea of living in a cutesy, little German village. Jess will be working on an army base, but I don't feel like that should have any bearing on where we live. As long as it's within 29 km.

I began looking at villages about 1 week ago. And oh my gosh just about had a heart attack when I came across this one which just happens to be 29 km from the army base. Convenient, no?

It's 5,000 people. Home of 14 beer parlors. Is connected to 120 km of hiking and biking trails. Has a huge outdoor pool. Is on the Autobahn. Has a train station. And best of all is pronounced something along the lines of Windishishishisheshenback. At least that's how I say it.