Creative dates/proposals take BHS by storm

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Everyone knows finding a Prom date is stressful. Searching for the right person to walk with you in front of a huge crowd can be overwhelming. You have to choose someone who is worthy of your presence.

Now, finding a date may be hard for some people, but we have collected a series of tips in order to find an early date.

Sarah Unruh, junior, is planning on trapping her future man in a box and keep him until the big dance. “Another good idea is to snag him in a bear trap” she says.

As well as that is, a smart idea is to sneak up behind the selected individual and put a rag of chloroform up to his mouth, leaving him unconscious.

“I would much rather take my wiener dog, Oscar, than an actual date,” said junior Casey Withers. He said he is thinking about sneaking his dog into the dance.

To find a date, one might put up people’s school pictures on a wall, then throw a dart, and whoever it lands on, winner! If it’s the same gender, who cares; it’s 2018.

“I need to find a date that is over 5’9” so I will be able to wear heels and still be shorter,” said junior Alli Dunlop.

There’s always the option to host a competition, similar to “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette.” Who wouldn’t want a line of people begging to be your date?

Taking your second cousin is a good idea as well. If people make fun of you, tell them it’s legal to marry your second cousin in Kansas.

Since Trump seems to tweet almost constantly, ask him to make a presidential announcement that you’re looking for an escort. Anyone would want to come to good ole’ Burlington, Kansas, for a high school dance, right?

If it comes down to it, either taking Ms. Thomsen or Mr. Vander Linden would be ideal. They could choreograph a spotlight dance the three of you would perform for everyone. It would basically be an automatic rise in popularity.