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Love and pain go together, period!

The Death of Cesar

Oh my Cleopatra, my Queen, my Goddess of love
this last stab hit perfectly upon my heart
all the others tried,
the hundreds of wounds you laid upon my body
each one coming closer and closer to my death
but today, todays stabbing reach its mark
my death is at hand
I know now that there will not be another time for us
we have had many, each one better in love than the last
but this one was the last
no longer will I search for you with my soul in my hand
nor will I shed my tears for lives that have passed without us
I will not be able to love you again for I fear I will not be back
for this one was my last
the pains have just been too great, the sorrow the same
the love that I have missed did not miss it’s mark this time
all I ever wanted in all the lives that have passed was you
and your love for me
but now we part, part for good this time, I am fading away
my blood is running out, my head is weak and spinning
my end is nearing more from the last stab I received
you never did understand
and never will
whats it is like to be in love with you, your changes
your patterns that are here then gone, your needs then none
what ever you called for I tried to give, I would have given it all
this time had enough time passed but you changed on me
then the world itself changed, for better or worse remains to be seen
I have just coughed and there blood is upon my chin, in my beard
running down my chest to the river of golden hair.
I can no longer reach, my vision is blurred, my head is too heavy to lift
my tears are for you
my life was for you
My Queen, I was yours
forever
and now I am no more

My writings all started due to a love that I had and lost and by one that was being created that I will never have, and of course there is the one that has always been there that I need to say goodbye to, a n d the one that I so want to be with, it hurts me not to be.
It contains language that is not suitable for everyone so beware of that fact when you read this. Yes, I tend to curse a lot, and yes I get abusive in my words and yes I tend to write in poetic form, sort of.
Understand that I was hurting badly when I started this and when that happens whatever gets said is out of pain and frustration… mine, not yours.
I also write about myself, my feelings, emotions, hardships, health, and happiness, if any ever shows up again. My hope is that I don’t offend anyone, even though I know I will.
Remember that all of this is about my life, in my words, and my feelings, and how good and bad it gets during love and breaking up, and living life.

What do you want from freedom?

I want to be able to speak the truth always

I want from it the freedom to never have to hide from anything or anyone

I want to be able to speak freely without having to pre think what I am about to say

I want to be able to respond with truth to whatever is said to me even if it is hard on the other person to understand…

It should give me the ability to explain myself if am misunderstood, cry if I feel the need, love when the time is right, and never, ever fear the person I love