She's divorcing Jesse and will raise the baby alone. Larry King is a swinger. Lindsay blames a tawdry lie on her dad, who blames Perez Hilton. Courtney Love says Gavin cheated on Gwen with her. Wednesday's gossip cometh.

Nobody saw this coming: Sandra Bullock is not only divorcing scumbag husband Jesse James, she is adopting a baby. She was years into the process—jointly, with Jesse—when the Michelle Bombshells began, and now she'll finish the adoption as a single parent. Three-and-a-half month-old Louis Bardo Bullock was born in New Orleans and is "just perfect, I can't even describe him any other way," the 45-year-old Bullock said. On one hand: She has something to be happy about. Other hand: Jesus, Jesse, could you timing have been any worse? Other-other hand: Impressive secret-keeping. Sandy's entourage is officially a no-leak zone. [People]

Michael Lohan claims tweets about Lindsay being HIV-positive were the product of a Twitter hack. (Lest there be any confusion: She's not.) But LiLo thinks it was good ol' dad: "He's a grown man and has done the exact same things on TV/interviews, why wouldn't he lie on Twitter, and everywhere else! He just wants money—and he's using me, my name, my status, my mother, brothers, and sister for the cash to pay for wedding," his upcoming nuptials with former LiLo entourage member Kate Major. Meanwhile, Michael blames "sausage jockey" Perez Hilton, and one casting director says "Michael Lohan has put the last nail into Lindsay's career." [P6, Twitter, NBN]

Larry King's ex-wife says Larry and new wife Shawn Southwick are swingers: "Larry told me they both knew that each of them had others in their lives.... he knew Shawn was haing an affair with the baseball coach [of their sons' Little League team]. She practically flaunted it." Julia Alexander King was Larry's sixth wife; Shawn is his seventh. Julia says Larry's "addicted to marriage" as a salve for "insecurity," while Shawn is "in it for the money and celebrity." What's more, Larry was supposedly trying to have a baby with Shawn's sister Shannon. I don't believe this rumor, but the fact that it's even within the realm of possibility means 76-year-old Larry should make like Bob Dole and score a Viagra endorsement, already. [Radar, Radar]

Meanwhile, Time columnist Belinda Luscombe argues Larry's marriage license should be revoked. Statistically speaking, his marriage to Shawn was doomed from the get-go. [Time]

Josh Hartnett and Abbie Cornish made their love known at Channing Tatum's 30th birthday party. This item has surpassed its "beautiful but forgettable" quota; must abandon. [P6]

Courtney Love says Gavin Rossdale cheated on Gwen with her. On The Howard Stern Show she talked about dating Gavin: "Everyone gave me so much shit because Gavin sounded a lot like Kurt [...] But man, he was such an Adonis in his day! He got good in bed [...] something happened. Maybe Gwen taught him, for all I know." Howard, the voice of reason, interjects, "You were fucking him while he was with Gwen?" Courtney responds, "Yes. She does know." [Us]

Actress Amanda Peet just set the record for post-baby appearances: She walked Tribeca Film Festival's red carpet last night, eight days after birthing daughter Molly June Benioff. Da-mn. [HuffPo]

Andrew Leon Talley "will be playing the role of Prince Charming," helping ladies "slip into their perfect shoe" at an upcoming Manolo Blahnik sample sale. Like Mother Teresa, washing the feet of the poor. [P6]

Still in the hospital and under 24-hour surveillance after a massive brain hemorrhage, Bret Michaels is now speaking, but he's been diagnosed with a side effect that causes seizures. This constitutes a "minor setback," but his doctors remain optimistic. Oh, and we know where his hospital is, now: a state-of-the-art neurology center in Arizona, allegedly. [People, E!]

The last teen female mob Justin Bieber incited was so severe, it knocked his mother to the ground in New Zealand, and someone stole his hat. "Not happy that someone stole my hat and knocked down my mama. Come on people," he tweeted. [AP]