Show everyone what a superstar you are by racking up BeingGirl points. The more active you are on the site—taking quizzes and polls, playing games, commenting on articles, and submitting questions to Ask the Experts—the more points you’ll earn.

My Friends And I Are Always Liking The Same Guy

I have this friend named Julia, who I am pretty close to, but she really makes me upset about one thing. Whenever I start liking a guy she always has to like him too, as if she needs to compete with me. Should I confront her, and if so, how?

Kajsa

---

DearKajsa,

Friends crushing on the same guy happens often. You will only complicate your relationship with your friend by getting upset or confronting her. Remember your friend will be around a lot longer than a guy if you treat her right. Going after the same guy isn't a smart idea no matter who likes him first.

I wish there were a secret formula I could tell you about so you wouldn't continue to like him but there isn't one. You'll get over him and hopefully this will happen soon.

Hope this helps,

Your BeingGirl Experts

P.S. This holds true for girlfriends as well—when the popular, pretty new girl who invited you over Friday night after you and your best friend already made plans. Remember, your best friend will be around (if you're lucky) far longer than these others will.

Learn about liking the same guy and get answers to your questions at BeingGirl.com.

I feel the same way Kajsa does. One of my best friends is dating a guy that one of my other best friends likes, too. I kind of like him as well. It is a big mess. I told my friend who is dating him that she could have him because I am crushing on other boys way more than I would ever like him. My best friend who isn't dating him brought up at a sleepover at her house that she liked him. I knew that before, though. I was the first person she told. Then I admitted that I kinda liked him, too. She accused me of liking him!! She said," Of course you like him AFTER I say I like him." I mean I'm sorry, but I was to afraid to admit it before. Especially AFTER my friend stated dating him.

farmgirl628

Posted April 02, 2014

this didn't help!!!!!!
but thanks

CeCe808

Posted May 30, 2012

I've never liked the exact same boy as my BFF but who knows one of these days it'll happen....

Smile1720158

Posted October 29, 2012

Yesterday i told my best friend about this guy i like. she waz bugging me about it. so when i told her she was like i wont make a big deal about it. she said i would be happy for u if u do get him. what do i doooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! i think he likes me and i dont know!! help!

cookies_n_cream ;] <3

Posted June 09, 2012

i have a besst friend hoo likes the same boy asz me ! but i liked him ever since i was seven and i went out wit him ....... nd wen i kissed him she cried n! ugh ! now we broke up for a dum reason bt i still like him nd he still likes me.... bt she keeps tlking about hw deep and cute his dimples r and tht stuff she jus wont giv him up nd neither will i HELP@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Swimer11

Posted January 04, 2013

Cookiesncream if ur friend doesnt accept the fact that you guys like each other a lot more than they like each other then tell her your reasons gently. If she just doesn't get it then she doesn't deserve being your friend at all it's your life u own it not her

doglover237

Posted January 22, 2012

my problem is simular, but i was friends with my crush before my new best friend. my new best friend likes him too, but she wasnt honest with me on who she liked at first (told me she liked a diffrent guy), but i told her my real crush. yesterday one of my other friends told me that my crush likes me, i know this is true because i saw them talking about it and my friend always smiled at me in that "im hideing something" way. i almost puked in exitement when i saw him again, but if i tell my best friend that he likes me her feelings would get hurt! do i keep it a secret??? HELP!!

Prettygurl4444

Posted May 26, 2012

me and my bff liked the same guy be4. the guy we like is our guyfriend. hes really funny and sweet and smart. i guess hes perfect for me and my bff. but i think he likes neither of us. :(

i hate cramps

Posted April 02, 2012

Remember: SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS

cooliofoolio123

Posted April 07, 2012

@doglover237: dont keep it a secret because eventually she will find out and then she will be really mad and how she responds to it when u do tell her shows how good a friend she is