EXTRAEXTRA

Image War: Obama vs. Putin

Because if you're going to be a demagogue, you should at least be interesting...

"You know, I never served in the military, but I'm glad it worked out for you, getting to meet the President and all. Good for you, man."

"Dmitry, I hit the bullseye without looking or else I give the next election to you."

"Look, John, I know you want to be powerful too but you're just not as cool as I am. I'm sorry, but life's not fair sometimes. Get with it. We're going to have to raise the debt ceiling."

"I only wish my opponents weren't such fools that they diminished my glory."

"Look at that, Bo, the McRib is back! Gosh, it feels like it's been gone forever. How about that?"

"What a fascinating little creature. Let him live."

"Yep, I'm sitting on Rosa Parks' bus. First black president here, just sitting on the bus looking out the window. No police harassing me or anything. How cool is that?"

"You think that Vladimir is an unrefined strongman? No, not at all. My first love was always archeology."

"Go long, Axelrod!... Alright, now hold it there for the camera. There you go, Barack. That looks good."

"What is that American novel... Moby Dick? They never get the whale, do they? Nonsense. Pay attention. A novel will be commissioned immediately after my kill."

"Now open wide and eat before Michelle sees us."

"You've been watching too much American television. I met Chuck Norris. This is what happened to Chuck Norris."

"Aww honey, I missed you too. No, I didn't notice you gained a few pounds, really. I love you just the way you are. Yes we can disappear to Hawaii after we wrap this election deal up. Of course we can. I love you."

"A man has his needs, but my wife, she could not bear this terrain. A man must go it alone. Alone to the nearest village with young maidens at the well."

"Alright guys, lean in for the toast. There you go, touch the glasses, now let's try and make eye contact, there you go. Now remember- we're friends."