i have been asked what i want for christmas several times this whole week and my answer keeps to continue to be the same. what i really want can’t be bought. i don’t need anything because i have everything. this year i am not going to want anything. there are a few things i would like but for someone to get me them would probably break the bank, i don’t want that to happen, so i will wait till i can gather enough money to buy them on my own. something as small as a keychain would suffice for me. today was way better then yesterday, my parents had to go out of town again to see my uncle and drop stuff off. it kept me worried for the moment until i received a text saying everything went well and were safely on their way back home. once they did arrive i was happy again. i just stayed in watching weeds with my older brother and had my coffee in the afternoon because i didn’t have it in the morning. i am sleepy for some reason already and it is early. hope all have a safe night. good night and sweet dreams to you.

weekend was unexpected. all in all it was okay, got to spend it with my family which it is what it is. this week will be what most high school and college students know as hell week. here we go! (toast)

today didn’t go as expected, i didn’t expect what actually happened. i have been taken responsibility for my words that come out of my mouth and will stick to what i say. no more holding back. it is time to do what i said i was going to do (you know), i have been wrecking my brain. even though opinions are out there i have to see both sides of everything now. time to buckle down and find my meaning in this life. got to take these small steps one at a time. “if at first you don’t succeed get up and try again.” i hope i can keep this promise as we discussed a while back. =o)

on the ride home i realized what i have to do. drove in silence the whole way home because i was thinking and forgot about the music playing. while at my parents house i was so far away from the world, like really far away. i stayed up later then usual starting up at the sky, just gazing. i forgot how peaceful and soothing it is with out all the noise and ambient light. i could actually see stars and the milky way. it was amazing. as the day went on the rest of what is left of the family went out for dinner, we went to go eat bbq at rudy’s and remembered you and our time their. =) even though everything smelt SO good, meat wasn’t on my list to eat, all i had was turkey, beans and potato salad with a raspberry tea, was amazing but parents got sort of mad because i became like my older brother and gave up red meat. what their mad at is that they don’t know what to make me to eat if we are over. i used to be a vacuum when it came to food but now-a-days not so much, all i normally have is chicken, turkey or fish. i feel great and look slightly better, with a bit more exercise i can be my fittest i have ever been. no stopping now. i should have been a vegetarian a long time ago. in conclusion here is to continuing on my resolution of the year, i have several months to do what i said i was going to do, and as far as the other stuff, i have kept my promise.