Missing Socks? Problem Solved!

Socks are a lot like cats. They wander around and take absolutely no direction from me. My former non-solution was to herd them (the socks, not the cats) toward the living room couch, hoping that if they all ended up there, somehow they’d find their match. The honest result? Dozens of single socks, like lost romantic souls, unable to find their soul mates.

But I recently solved the problem–completely–forever. I will never sit amongst mismatching socks desperately trying to roll them into pairs again. It’s an easy three step process.

Step 1:Throw out all of your socks. I mean it…all of them. It’s really easy. You go to your drawer and get all of your socks, even those who are paired, and take them all to the trash can. Hold them over the can. Drop. See? Easy.

Now, if you have some of those really cute ones, you can retain those. But at the first frustrating moment when one comes out of the dryer without the other, into the trash it goes. When the other one shows up, it follows it’s mate. No mercy.

Step 2:Immediately after throwing all of your socks away, drive to a nearby store and buy six packages of the very same style sock. I got three packages of black and three of white. I don’t wear blue or brown, but if you do, get three packages of all the colors you wear. I got each package for around $7 and spent a bit over $35. If you wear more colors, it will cost you a little bit more. But it’s a very cheap solution to a messy girl’s ongoing, heart-wrenching and agonizing dilemma.

Step 3:Kick back and accept the fact that you are victorious. You won. The socks lost. From this day forward, all of your socks will match. All of them. All of the time. No matter how many get lost in that mysterious laundry process (what really happens at the bottom of the hamper, anyway?) the ones that emerge will look exactly like all of the others. If you have one sock left over, who cares? Toss it in the drawer with the matched sets with full confidence that, at the next washing, a match will appear.