for all those passionate throes until now, left unsung, about music

What do Madonna and Eddie Vedder have in common?

I’m sure they have more than I will discuss, actually. But to me, they have this in common: they were both my childhood heroes. To ones that know me, that will not surprise them. I was fortunate enough to have a mom who supported my inner performer long before I realized that this inner, artistic being was the driving force of me.

If you’ve read a long, or seen me on Facebook, you can probably say you know about why I am “obsessed” with Eddie Vedder, so I’ll start, instead, with Madonna. The year was 1988. I just got the patchouli-laden cassette tape, Like a Prayer, and was already wearing the tape threading down to shreds. At age seven, I’d seen the video. I was only aware that she was controversial in the media. I may not have understood the weight of all the inferences in the video–what I cared about more was this was an amazing woman. She inspired me. I knew she was taking heat for doing something radical–and I loved it with every fiber in my being.

I created an interpretive dance to the song that I dragged my (Mormon!) friend, Samantha, into. Mom patiently watched as I leapt from the coffee table, came down to one knee and twirled about our otherwise unused den. I still listen to this album when I vacuum or clean the house…great calorie burner…

I also remember hearing the track that she shares with Prince. It’s a slow, almost R&B-like duet. I didn’t know Prince, I didn’t know of his infamy, but I knew that this was something quite special. Prince radiated sexuality, and I picked up on that, yes, even at age 7.

Loving Madonna as a young girl shaped my feminism, my advocacy for women’s rights, and my own desire to be a female performer. She inspired me–she told me through her music–to celebrate being female, to celebrate being artistic, and that if people didn’t like it, well, tough shit, frankly, because I have a right to do this. I love her to this day.

As a teenager, Erotica, came out. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t buy it until much later in life, but I kept my peripheral vision on it. It seemed that these bold and erotic expressions were okay. That it was okay to be bold and female and sexual. Society doesn’t really teach girls to be aware of themselves, or what’s okay and what’s not. I knew, at 13, that this exploration of art and music and sexuality was okay–well, at least it was for Madonna.

I could go on and on…

I could also go on and on about Eddie. But I loved him, surprisingly, for the same reasons, in ways. For example, there was something about him climbing up on a stool during MTV’s Unplugged and scrawling “PROCHOICE” on his forearm that just ignited me. A man fighting for women’s rights? A man who would go to conferences to advocate for women’s rights?! Wow, amazing. (and sexy, but remember, I was going to marry him and all…)

Eddie shaped my political beliefs. He may not have given me this rebellious, strong-willed “freedom for everyone” attitude, but he sure did spread it like wildfire. He was my childhood role model. I didn’t have any male role models, really. Yes, my beloved grandpa, but he was 1240 miles away. So Eddie became the stand-in male role model…he shaped my taste in men, my political views, my musical preferences, my poetry…my world.

So, yes, now you know that Eddie and Madonna have at least this in common: me.