Thursday, 5 February 2009

I went to the Dr. yesterday to find out about my test results for this 2 month long ordeal of attacks that feel worse than labor pains and kidney stones together. She's calling it "renal colic" with suspected very small stones the size of salt grains, suspecting that they are either coming out one after another every few hours and now every few days, or else there is one that is getting into the ureter and causing it to spasm up, then going back into the kidney, then going back into the ureter, in and out, causing repeated attacks. When that tube spasms up it can cause the bowels touching it to also spasm up, and I have so much scar tissue inside, that it pulls and tears on the scar tissue, so that's what is causing the pain that is the first pain to ever make me moan or yell into my pillow. I asked her today if there was anything I could take during those attacks so I don't have to go to the hospital, something that would work fast. She offered one injectable medicine but I've tried that and it's useless to me. ( I wish she could write a standing order for the paramedics to just come give me a shot at home and leave me there at home, or if they MUST take me in, to have a standing order for IMMEDIATE pain relief, not 3-4 hours later...but they won't do that here.(Standing orders for ER). She also asked why I didn't go to thehospital during these attacks. I said "Because I didn't want to go out into the freezing cold which makes the pain worse, then lay in the hospital for 3 or 4 hours in that pain that makes me scream, and its embarrassing to take a pillow and scream into the pillow in public, and I can't even speak for myself when I go alone, let alone defend myself, and I have to get up and walk out to the ambulance, which I was not able to do, and the Paramedics comment on my weight and make remarks if my hair is not washed or something. It's a horrible ordeal to deal with when you are screaming in pain and alone." WHAT A DIFFERENCE TO HAVE A KIND DOCTOR!!--She said that I am probably the strongest and bravest patient she has ever had. She never had a patient with so many severely painful conditions stacked one on top of the other. When I get those attacks, I grit my teeth, which then also causes the trigeminal neuralgia, also unbearable pain. Well I got some things changed in the ER protocol, maybe I can help get this changed too, to get standing orders for recurring problems. Good news is that I get to cancel some very uncomfortable tests that were scheduled for the future. I'm glad to learn its nothing serious but I was PRAYING it would be something I could be treated for so I can build up my strength for my husband's return! Oh well, one day/hour at a time! Thanks to 2 very inspired friends who have already walked the path that I am walking now, I am feeling much more peace and almost no fear about the future with or without my husband. That is a monumental growth for me. Mid march we finally get a court hearing so we can try to get him home SOON! I will be praying for the strength to even travel to the city the court session is in, and get through the 5 hour session. I have not sat up for 5 hours straight for years, I don't think. I'll be trying to make myself as strong as possible in every way for that day and for whatever comes after. I have to wait 3 months to 1 year for the court's decision. Isn't that insane? So I added more paperwork begging the judge for a speedy decision because of the extreme danger he is in and because of the extreme stress I go through with him, which might make me too useless to be a good wife if we wait too long. We'll see what Heavenly Father has planned.Blessings,Bluebirdy

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comments:

wow! I really admire your strength, Sheila:)I've been reading all through your posts, it's very striking how your faith is so profound! i liked all the intelligence you shared in every step of your struggles and somehow opened up a whole new perceptions to me:) one pastor who was so sick once said that people like him only needs prayer not pity and that is enough:)I'll pray that you'll never give up on hope and God will continue to shower and share more of His heavenly power on you to be able to conquer all flaws you may encounter along the way...anyway, I was searching on the book you mentioned..Is the author, Gary Thomas? I'll check it out once I visit the bookstore this week & hopefully, I can share it with a good friend too... thanks for recommendation:) you got it, I love books, they're my best friends.hugs,Sharon

I'm so encouraged by this post, even the smallest progress is cause for celebration! Soon the worst will be over, I am sure. There is no doubt that you will be equal to the tasks ahead of you, God will arrange for that...Sending you loving energy and light--day and especially night!

Given; your husband was just laid off and yet you have the heart to encourage me. *tears* I hope the Lord will bless you 100x more than you have blessed others. Sharon; Thanks for your encouraging words. Its always nice to know that our life and struggles are not in vain and might help somoene else. I love your blog as well! Vivian; Thanks so much. The Lord has really blessed me in the past few weeks to not have fears that I've had all these years. It had a lot to do with the poster that I posted, about going to the edge of the cliff, then God will either catch you or give you wings, or whatever it said. I have SOOO much in the house and in legal paperwork and my life to do before hubby gets here. I wish I had the strength to do it all like I used to. Oh well, not having it all done will give my husband and I some things to do together as he re-adjusts to life here.HugsSheila

Thank you Joseph for your kind words. N. American culture is very different than Indian culture, and even different than it was 10 years ago. We have been too sick to go out to meet any friends, and we don't know our neighbors except one, and asking them to go to the hospital with us for an 8 hour+ wait is not something you ask of someone who is only a neighbor, and not a very close friend. Before 10 years ago, I remember that we went out to visit people regularly, But now there are so few people in Canada, and so many jobs that need filled to meet the needs of the population, that people are working 16 hour days, both husband and wife, so there is no time for socializing. They seem to work, then go home and collapse, or go home and sit in front of their "boxes" (computer and TV). Most children are raising themselves here if they are over the age of 10 or 12. The country BEGS for immigrants to fill the work positions, but now immigration can't handle all of the immigration cases. There are 900,000 cases waiting for processing. They will take about 3-5 years of making each applicant wait. I hired a housekeeper, but at $15 an hour, I can't afford to have her go with me to the emergency room either. I am trying to get some more rules changed in the E.R.and get some attitudes changed there. I have gotten some things changed already, maybe I can change more things, so people who are seriously ill and have to use the E.R. more than once a year won't be so abused and scared to use it. Blessings,Sheila

I am aware that there are many people in India who are in the waiting list for emigration to Canada. The agencies are making good money. The agencies say that except for the climate, living conditions are good in Canada.

Paying $15 an hour for a helper is a real fancy amount. For $50 you can get a full time helper for a whole month in India.

Your Government should be able to get some volunteers for special cases like yours. Many Canadians are going to poor countries to help them. Surely, some can stay back and assist those in need on a voluntary basis. Charity begins at home.

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