The rantings, musings, poems, and arguments of a dude who was a drywall salesman and is now a pastor. Journey from 2004-2010.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Tom Hanks is not in this post

lots of people ask me "Toothface, what are your fav. websites?" and that I'll say "HOW'D YOU GET THIS NUMBER?" Well here are my two fav. websites, one is my all time and one is a recent find. Either one will make you laugh until your face melts.

Real Ultimate Power!This was a college fav. I think Steve V introduced me to it, but i'm not sure. It's awesome no matter what. I looooove ninjas! Growing up in the late 80s and early 90s, ninjas were it. Even some of the ninjas were pizza eating mutant turtles! It is a universal fact that all American males around my age love 1. The Simpsons 2. Ninjas 3. can name at least 3 G.I. Joe's 4. Had a crush on the girl from the whitesnake video, the now not-so-hot-batshit-crazy Tawney Kitaen.

My fav. part of this website is the testamonial:"Ninjas can kill anyone they want. Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window."

Here's the new one! I found this browse'n on myspace and here it is in all it's glory.

I don't know who or what this guy is, but i cry tears the size of raptor eggs when i read it. My fav. part is in the post called "Investor Needed For My New Film" where Tom gives reasons why you should invest in his film: "Reason #6: Unlike most movies, this masterpiece is totally unpredictable. As the audience watches, they begin to realize that the film is nothing like the trailer. For one, Tom Hanks is not in it and that scene where a man yanks a bolt of lightning out of the sky and uses it as a whip is nowhere to be found. When the film is over, most of the audience will be surprised by the twist at the end. If some audience members aren't surprised, don't worry. They will be when they walk out the exit to discover the theater is really a truck that has been driving them away from the parking lot since the movie started."

I also like the social justice stuff like Mother Jones and the ever-fun wikipedia and other "smart blogs" but i didn't want to bore you. Plus i was feeling down cause now i'm back at work after a sweeeet snow day. I was happy to be like my hero Nick who hasn't worked for most of this month.

Plus it's hard to function when customers will do the following:

Customer: I'm looking for a product for a home theater.Toothface: Great! What product is it?Cust: The one for the home theater.TF: Right... are you looking for drywall, insulation, the actual system?Cust: It's in a blue bag.TF: Alright.....

The conversation continues on like this for 4 more hours, but you get the idea. I'd like to think i'm a patient person. I also thank God everyday has God tests this patients all the time. I think the customer's brains are still on their snow day.

So far all is well and we're gearing up to head out this weekend. so that'll be fun. Then next week it's off to vegas where we might even see one of my fav. ol' rezzies, Katie B.