How Obamacare Became the Law of the Land....and other adult fairytales

How The Hell Did Obama Care Become The Law of The Land?During the initial stages of the Obama Care debate, critics said, “There is no way that people will be able to keep their doctor with the president’s plan.” And, initially, president Obama agreed. Until it became obvious that this idea was not very popular with large numbers of people, at which point president Obama said “Sure, you can keep your doctor. No problem. I swear on a stack of Korans that you’ll be able to keep your doctor!”Now, critics, being critical and all, said, “He’s not telling the truth.”

​President Obama’s supporters responded by saying “How do these people know that you won’t be able to keep your doctor? Are they wizards? Are they prophets? Or are they racists?” This last answer was always preferable for Obama’s acolytes because racism is bad! Really bad! Which meant that the truth, whatever it might be, could be obscured and the blame for the president’s lies could be shifted to somebody else.So, to keep it simple, let me explain how these wizards knew that folks under Obama Care wouldn’t be able to keep their doctors.Obama Care laid out a payment plan that was stingier than Medicaid. Most doctors don’t spend 8 years in college, a couple more years as neophyte residents, working 36-hour shifts, while trying to catch a snooze here and there on a cot in their office, so they can make less than a garbage man. On top of that, they pay huge insurance premiums because lawsuit crazy lawyers want to make an easy buck at their expense, which tends to be very costly.This is precisely why most doctors don’t take Medicaid. You can always tell the ones that do, however, because reruns of Jerry Springer will be playing on an old VHS machine on an endless loop in their office. Fistfights by the sophisticated clientele provide exciting entertainment, as well. Donnybrooks over whose baby’s daddy is actually the daddy of somebody’s mamas baby, get played out in real time to enhance the experience, too.Simply put; why the hell would any well-heeled doctor take Obama Care?​Once Obama Care became the law, however, the truth became known. At that point, reporters had to ask the hard question. Namely, did president Obama lie? And, if he did, did he do so intentionally?The answer would have been glaringly obvious had it been someone that the press didn’t like. But, Obama they liked, so they hemmed and hawed and tap danced through the raindrops, trying to find an excuse, any excuse that would allow them to absolve the president of his misstatement, his faux pas—his outright lie.Many in the press sweated profusely as they struggled with this diabolical dilemma. “Was it really a lie?” They asked. “What’s a lie?” “Who’s to say what a lie really is?” Others furiously engaged in post-modernist debates about the nature of truth. Philosophers argued that maybe there was no truth? Maybe we were all just microscopic beings in the teardrop of a giant?​All this handwringing quickly ended, though, when some junior, republican senator rolled through a stop sign in Waukegan Illinois, bringing an Old Testament like fury down on this heinous bastard. Clearly, this was an indication that he believed that vehicular homicide—of children, no less—should be the law of the land.And, with that, the press said, “Huh?” Regarding Obama Cares endless horrors. Otherwise translated as “We hear nothing.” “We see nothing.” “We say nothing.” Which seemed fitting. But no one was there to report the press’s abdication of their duty, so, it didn’t happen.That’s how you lie without lying. You just ignore it, whatever “It” is. But, only when it comes to the media’s favored sons and daughters. That’s how Obama Care became the law of the land. And, how Americans got screwed like a good looking ten dollar hooker with a clean bill of health.Claude Hopper