Roaring Thunder

February 18, 2012

Imagine hearing a full tabernacle of young adults and their leaders praying. The first thing that I would picture/hear in my head is everyone saying the Lord’s Prayer. Let’s put a twist on it: everyone is saying something different. I know what you might be thinking… “What could they possibly be saying?” Everyone is saying their own personal prayers at the same time. When I heard the explanation of what we were going to do and I immediately said “this is going to be complete chaos”. What resulted was absolutely mesmerizing. The soundscape that was created was breathtaking. For a few moments everyone had become vulnerable, putting all of their spiritual needs and wants out there for everyone to hear. I couldn’t help it… I stopped praying and just listened. I heard joys, hurts, concerns, pleas, and rejoicing. It was truly amazing.

Prayer intimidates me, public prayer scares me. I never know what to say. So much goes through my brain. My palms sweat and my pulse races. It is one thing for me to sound like a babling idiot in my head, but to misspeak is mortifying. I have a fear of saying the wrong thing and turning someone off of Christianity. I keep forgetting that I need to let the Spirit move me and be mindful.

This weekend had a rough start. After a 7-8 hour drive, I really wasn’t up for worship. I heard one thing that struck me odd and stopped listening. Looking back, I think I might have missed the point of the message. Tonight’s worship was awesome and I am so glad I came back with an open heart and mind.

All in all, this retreat has been great. I cannot wait to go home tomorrow though and relax with my family!