I doodle in the margins

Day-26

I am horrible at dealing with success. I often do not take credit for it or even acknowledge that it has happened. My expectations for success feel much higher than I see other people being OK with. This makes it hard for me yo get excited about completing anything or doing something well because I always think “well of course, that ID how it is supposed to be, why is this special ?”
This is a silly way to think most of the time. Ever small success should be honored, this is how we positively reinforce them to happen again and continue happening. This is how you train children and dogs to be good citizens. Logically I know this, but I still do not have a good idea how to make success easier to deal with.

Failure can be much worse. Think horrible screaming tantrums. I get mad and depressed for a little while. I will cry. I feel guilty and play things over and over in my head and it may keep me awake for weeks without meaning to. And then I will think of a way to not do it again, how van I prevent feeling like that again in this type of situation. Sometimes it will work, sometimes my standards are too high and I just won’t put myself in that type of situation again.