Six Keys to Understanding Women

Women want to make sure the relationship is on solid ground. After a period of separation (even a day apart), establish that closeness as soon as you can, and everything afterward will flow more freely. This doesn't mean you have to put your own needs completely on hold. For example, if you come home exhausted from a long day at work and your partner wants to talk, trying saying, “I'm so glad to see you. I missed you and wondering how your day was going. I want to hear all about it, but I'm tired right now. I need a few minutes to unwind and relax. Can we talk in 15 minutes?”

2. Don't jump in the problem – solving mode. If you're not sure what your partner needs at any given moment, it's okay to ask her. You might say, “It sounds like you're really upset. Would you like me to listen, or would you like some suggestions?”

3. If your partner is less interested in sex than you are, try a little empathy. Instead of taking the rejection personally and pressuring her for more frequent sex, consider the possible reasons for the discrepancy and desire – reasons that may have nothing to do with you. Be sensitive to issues from the past as well as your partner’s general frame of mind. Is your partner a survivor of sexual abuse? Were there traumas in her past that make physical intimacy frightening for her?

4. Think about how much work your partner does. Is she frequently exhausted? If she works outside the home, how much responsibility do you assume for cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, and childcare? I remember a cartoon with the heading, “What do women want?” The drawing depicted a woman vacuuming; in the bubble above her head, there was a man vacuuming. Brainstorm with your partner to figure out how you can reduce her workload.

5. Allow your partner to voice her fears, and support her in her efforts to face difficult situations. Women feel empowered by their significant relationships; your caring attitude will contribute to your partner’s success in attaining her goals. She doesn't need you to talk her out of her fear, or solve her problems: she just wants you to listen and understand.

6. Understand that communication is a process. Look at communication problems as an invitation to keep on talking, keep on listening, and eventually work things out. You and your partner may communicate very differently, but the potential is still there to reach even higher levels of understanding interest.

Thank you. We men need help in relating to and understanding women. Yes, it is true that perhaps the best lesson is: women are all different; women are not themselves sure what they want. But, your insight to listen, to try to understand communication, to work together, is useful.
Overall, thanks for your blog and your insight. And, great pic!

These six points seem like good places to begin, for a man who wants to understand more about a woman who is already in his life. Most of these are worth learning, leaving out the sex, for many males trying to understand women: boys of 14, adult sons, men who don't understand their daughters, and more. These are good in all kinds of relationships, leaving out the sex: work partnerships, travel companionships, more.
For my own thinking, I summed them up:
Create emotional connection. Give good listening re problems and ask if problem-solving is wanted. Understand different levels of interest in sex. Share work load evenly. Give good listening re fears and support growth of strength rather than try to remove problems and fears. Communicate steadily.
Yep, those are very good.
I would add, men who want sex more than their partner may need to be more aware of the periodicity of menstrual pain, which takes away sex-interest for one to four days in each four weeks for many women, during reproductive years. Ovulation caused me pain for a day, too, and I'm now happier with sex any time, now I'm in my late 50s and reproduction isn't part of it.

There are many good points here. Men need to learn to relate to women from a more mature perspective, then a lot of the inter-relational differences will disappear. Men I am afraid often never really grow up or yearn for something more profound. Many of these points are expanded upon, and some new ideas in the book The Power of Understanding Women on Amazon Kindle.

I was sick of my partner not understanding me and telling me that women are simply from a different planet. I was looking online to see if I could find a suitable book on the topic that was not too complex, written as an easy read, and I came across this book that has some great reviews. It's called "how to make a woman happy" and it's by Denis Hickey. Available on Amazon, i think it's worth a read