Monday, 1 November 2010

a father's love...

I have always been careful not to write on here much about my children and the journey that they are each on - because, as their father (with all my flaws and failings) I love them dearly and am massively protective of them, and their journey is private to them, and to anybody they choose to share parts of it with.

In some ways I can cope with losing my wife and best friend because of the confidence I have in where she is. My biggest ongoing frustrations and tears are for my children who also have to walk this road which can so often be filled with overwhelming emotions and unexpected sadness. My struggle as their father is that I can't take the pain away from them. I would willingly take all their pain, all their tears, all their sadness if it meant that they didn't have to experience it. Unfortunately I just can't do that and so - when they hurt, it hurts me so much that I literally ache inside.

Today has been gut-wrenching for me for this very reason.....walking around town struggling to put one foot in front of the other, continuously wiping away tears because of the pain of one of my children...and my mind inevitably turns to God The Father, and I wonder at His pain at seeing his one and only Son suffering and dying on the cross at Calvery........ and I'm utterly undone as I realise that my aching love for my children is just a poor reflection of the aching love of The Father as He watched His Son Jesus take the punishment that we deserve. That's the love of The Father.

1 John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is : Jesus Christ laid down his life for us"

....Still checking your blog....and seeing this one, oh Craig, your lovely children, I cant imagine how heartbreaking it is for you to go through this with them. Our hugs to you all, as ever H J J C xxxx