The Humanisation Files: @darts.vader

“Ah it’s really bad. So I wake up, I check my emails from work and I also reply to messages from the night before which I might have forgotten to reply to. Then straight away I hit myself and I’m like, ‘okay it’s time to go to the shower’, because I don’t like to waste time. I’m always kind of on the move, I don’t really sit around in bed waiting to be motivated.”

What are your caffeine habits like?

“I only drink one coffee per day, but… I really love caffeine [laughing], so it’s dangerous for me to drink more than one because I’ll build a tolerance to it and i’ll go crazy. But if I’m really desperate I’ll drink matcha and that’ll be in the afternoon. I don’t have caffeine past 7pm because I’ll be up all night [laughing].”

Describe ‘dinner time’ in your household.

“I’m going to speak about my Melbourne [household] because dinner time here is boring for me. So back home, dinner time for me would be my Mom cooking. We have a big family so not all of us are going to be home at the same time. But usually when most of us are home she would make us her favourite things – a really good lasagna from scratch, and then pull out some curry we’re not expecting… just kind of… exotic dishes that you wouldn’t expect, which is really nice. We don’t really have a set dinner time. Mom will just make food and we eat by the kitchen counter. We’re not very traditional [in a Western sense], more like… whatever.”

What is the theme/s of your current ‘mental loop’?

“Obviously you know… the whole visa situation. I realise that the more I work here, the quicker the time flies – one minute you’ve been here for 3 months and the next minute you’ve been herealmost a year, which is ridiculous! So I’m always stressing about… what I’m going to do after London. Whether I’m going to flip to another visa… if I want to move to Paris… it’s just very situational and regards where I am at the moment. It’s all depending on work as well. I don’t really stress about many other things, I try to live a simple kind of life where… I’m happy. I feel like that the most important thing to me. In saying that, I think the only thing I think about consciously is where I want to be in the future, not so much the present.”

Which habit of yours makes you feel the most embarrassed / personally degraded?

“Okay so…[laughing] I have the worst food diet in the world – I eat so much shit, while all my friends cook amazing dinners… that’s why I didn’t want to talk about my dinner routine here [laughing]. I eat so much junk. I try to eat healthy, but for me, fuelling my body is really important. So I eat a lot of meat, but… I feel guilty because I’m surrounded by so many healthy people who are – vegetarian… who watch what they eat… while I’m just here eating chicken all the time. Just a really filthy diet. Oily foods.”

From which angle do you look at your face in the mirror?

“Love this question. So, I always like to look at myself from the left side and that’s the way I present myself. As in, when I first glance at someone, I will always kind of tilt my head to the left, because I find that side, is my best side. I’m not vain… just self-aware [laughing]. Seriously though, I think my left side is my best side – I don’t really like to take photos or selfies straight on. You’ll always find me on my left side [laughing].”

The first word that comes to mind when I say ‘mother’?

“Selfless”

Describe age 17 in a sentence or two.

“Age 17 was when I would have been in year 12. That year for me was really tough, because I was a misfit and I didn’t have many friends. I grew up in the Western suburbs of Melbourne which… has a very mixed group of people, who aren’t necessarily my kind of people. I feel like in high school, I really enjoyed being by myself and I still think I’m a bit of an introvert. Growing up in a place where you feel like you don’t belong is really hard because all you want to do is fit in, but you can’t change yourself. And I’m happy that I didn’t, I’m happy that I did my own thing and look where I am now, I feel like I am really happy.”

Is it wrong to wear socks more than once before washing them?

“Umm… I don’t have a problem with it, but I wouldn’t wear socks twice…Is that shady? I don’t do it but… you can do it.”

What is the line that goes through your head, convincing you to text instead of call?

“I’m the worst with phones. I do not like to talk on the phone, I really prefer to text. If it is someone who I have a crush on for instance, maybe… “it’s time to chill and not get ahead of myself, maybe a text is a better option”.”

5 words that describe your internal chatterbox.

“Fun – I’ve got a very humorous internal-self. Very empathetic, and I always bring myself up so I’m going to say uplifting. Also weird, my mind works so strangely. And it’s direct.”

What is the most exciting thing you can think of about tomorrow?

“Actually tomorrow is the beginning of Aries season so I’m so excited for that [laughing]. But also a really good friend of mine arrives here from Paris tomorrow.”

Primary school was:

“Challenging, because English was my second language so I felt really disconnected from everybody. That made me quite… strong, and quite independent. It was also a sad time because I left the Philippines when I was 9, so I left my childhood friends and my relatives.”

Who is ‘love’ to you?

“Family obviously, and love to me is someone who brings you happiness, so all my very, very good friends.”

The best thing you have to offer others?

“Definitely my positive energy. I like surrounding myself with positive people because I want to be positive. Also my quirky personality, and I’m very understanding. I’m a good listener so I feel like when people talk to me through their hardships and problems, I am there to support them and listen to them. So I feel like being empathetic is one of my strongest suits for sure.

Why do you feel confident?

“Again because I surround myself with amazing people who bring me up. I feel like confidence came from my friends who would always support me and uplift me. Also I like to be the one who uplifts other people to make them feel confident (which gives me confidence), because I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m shy or the other person is shy, so I’d rather diffuse the tension and just make everyone very confident in the situation.”

Your go to ‘pick-me-up’ phrase?

“It’s not really telling myself [a phrase], but more breathing out and just acting on it. Rather than vocally telling myself what to do, it’s more physically doing it. So a breath out of fresh air.”

How do you spend the last 10 minutes of your day, before your eyes close?

“Oh god it’s going to be the phone thing [laughing]. So I’ll be on instagram obviously (out of boredom), maybe also chatting to some friends, and then when everything is finished I set an alarm for the next day, put my phone away, spray lavender on my pillows… And this is going to be really personal but I’m going to say it. I also do the sign of a cross because I was raised Catholic and I guess I have conditioned myself to do it, because I had faith when I was younger. I wouldn’t say I’m very religious now, but there’s still that part inside me. So I do the sign of a cross, every night.”