The show must go on, take five

News-Times, The (Danbury, CT)

Published 1:00 am, Wednesday, November 24, 2004

It's been 7 weeks since the break up. I have not talked to him since Halloween. I am being very strong I think; just because I'm strong doesn't mean I'm not hurting though. I seriously thought that not calling him meant that I was over him. With this in mind, I decided to keep track of my phases.

Confusion: I was constantly asking myself how, what , why, where and when. Searching back to the day he stopped loving me. Since I am an analyzer, this literally consumed me, because without a doubt, I will never know.

Hurt: I was devastated, especially because I wasn't even in love with him. I thought that he would never break up with me, if anything I would do the breaking up.

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Illusion/delusional: I would constantly think about how I will never find anyone like him; he who changed my oil, painted our apartment, did my laundry and more, at the same time boring me to tears.

Loneliness: I couldn't tell if I missed him because I was lonely or because I really loved him. A couple weeks of lonliness and I realized I was just afraid to be alone.

Anger: Hopefully this is the last phase. I'm having a hard time shaking this one. I think it's easier to be mad then it is to be friends. If he does call, I plan on being mad.

I would like to call him and say goodbye since I am moving tomorrow, but I think that is going to be fruitless. Speaking of calling someone, a national directory of cell phone numbers will be published soon. This opens the door to solicitors calling our cell phones and using up our minutes.The

Federal Trade Commission
has set up a do not call list. You must call FROM the number you wish to register. The number is 1-888-382-1222 (takes 1 minute) or you can go to this link to register your cell phones online: https://www.donotcall.gov/register/Reg.aspx .
I really believe that there are so many different types of love in this world, but it doesn't just happen, it takes effort. I feel that any two people in this world can have some kind of love relationship as long as they are both wanting to take a chance. For example, boy asks girl on date, she thinks he's okay and is unsure but says yes because she's been single for over a year. Next thing you know she's following his lead because everyone she knows is in a relationship and she has nothing to lose and doesn't want to blow this chance. Maybe she's not in love, but she does have a new feeling/love that she's never felt for someone else before. My point is this, that a man and a woman in a relationship doesn't always equal "being in love" but can equal a type of love or intense emotion (brotherly, friendly, obsession, lust, infatuation, unconditional, sisterly, affectionate, accomodating, crazy, admirable, nurturing, the list goes on and on). I would say to have felt at least 10 of these ways or other similar ways towards 10 different people, you are lucky, even luckier if you have shared every one of these emotions with just one individual. That's what matters in the grand scheme of things, I hate to say it but "it's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all." Love equals certain feelings, being in love equals all feelings, there is no compromise, but then again they say love is compromise.