July 05, 2007

Door: MDW, Stay Out of the Drink

My paddle remained solid in the beginning. I have had much experience with Sea kayaking, but for some reason (perhaps it was the fact that I was out all night) I began having difficulties maneuvering with balance through the chilly wet. As well, we thought it would be a good idea to bring a beer for the trip. This proved to be a variable in my demise, as I was not able to keep the bottle balanced between my legs (I was told later about a cup holder.). Another smart idea I had was to bring along my phone, perhaps I would have a great photo opp!

As you can probably guess, I was destined to tip my kayak and plunge into the icy bay. But, of course, I decided to go fast and sprint towards the middle of the bay, far from the shore. The following is a thought-by-thought discourse;

Oh shit, its cold;

Oh shot, I’m done;

Yell for help; I scream like a little girl, “Help”;

Damn it’s cold;

Hurry up and save me;

The shore looks way too far, we need a boat;

Finally, help has arrived;

Damn, it’s cold;

What? No, I can’t get back in this damn thing;

Leave my flip flops;

Uh oh, my phone is done;

Okay, we can do this;

Damn, it’s cold;

Alright, hold on tight, my buddy will bring me in;

What a stupid idea to go kayaking tonight;

Hurry up;

The shore is like miles away (not really, but it sure looked far);

Okay, I am calm, but damn this water is cold, good thing I wore my fleece;

Why is my buddy laughing, this is serious, prick;

After bring in the water for an hour, we finally make it to a shore, but not by the property. I scanned my surroundings as my body shivered aggressively. “You have to get back in and kayak back,” demanded my friend. “No way,” I continued to look around, but there was no where to walk; I had not shoes, and my feet were killing me and bloody from manipulating my way to the shore. “I can’t do it. There needs to be another way,” I continued, realizing I was acting like a wimp. “We have no other choice, you can do it,” my friend shared. “Okay, gimme a minute,” responded. “Alight, let’s do this.” My friend suggested I take of my wet top and take his dry one. Picture this, I weigh 240, wear an XL-XXL top, my friend weighs 160 soaking wet, most likely wears a girls size. It must have been quite a funny site with me in his fleece.

So, I made it back, still shivering as I stripped down to jump into a warm shower. Although I had hyperthermia, my biggest concern was how my friend was going to brag that he saved. And, he is known for embellishing the facts to make himself look better. So, I knew I was in for a rash of crap when we got around to describing the events. Quickly, my mind let this fact go and soon drifted to dreams of being cozy in my bed...REST AND REFLECTION