Gelly’s Gems of Advice: Confused in Love and Sexless

I have been married for a while now. I feel that there is something different about my husband.The spark doesn’t seem to be there anymore. At the same time, I met a guy who is way older than me, but shows me the love and affection I am craving from my husband. What should I do?

-Married Yet Lost

Dear Married Yet Lost,

It seems that you and your husband are officially out of the honeymoon stage. Life is pretty normal and you guys aren’t doe-eyed, and bushy-tailed about each other anymore. What you are going through is normal. It seems like your communication with your husband might be lost. Before you think about divorce, and especially before you think about leaving him for another guy, please consider talking to your husband about your feelings. Communication is a key part of any relationship. If you can’t talk to your husband and explain how you are feeling, consider relationship counseling. Marriage is a sacrament and you made a promise to this man to love him forever, and always. He made the same promise to you. Don’t be ready to throw it all away so quickly over a little bit of attention from a guy that you barely know. Your husband may be going through something he is scared to share with you. To sum it all up, communicate with your husband.

xo, Gelly

Dear Gelly,

My fiancee and I recently moved in together. It’s generally terrific. I have someone to clean for, she has someone to wake her up. But our sex life has cratered. We used to fuck every date. In the two weeks since she moved in, we’ve slept together once. It seems like we’re always busy. What should we do? I have already tried setting up sexy surprises for her to come home to, like candles and dinner and stuff, but this hasn’t worked. She just ate the food, commented on the candles, and went to sleep. It’s super frustrating!

Yours,

Sexless

Dear Sexless,

I’m going to give it you straight. First, this probably isn’t something you should be talking to me about but since you asked, I will help. If you want sex from your fiancee, be straight up! Grab your girl by the hand, pull her in close, and tell her, “baby, I can’t resist you! Let’s make love(or whatever you guys refer to when you are getting intimate). Be aggressive. Chicks dig that honestly. The surprises are nice, and I’m more than sure she appreciates it, but she probably isn’t getting the message that you want to sleep with her. She probably just thinks you are being nice to her. Also understand where she is coming from. After a long day, the last thing she wants to do probably is have sex. Perhaps giving her a nice massage, or setting up a bubble bath for her? That might be a better way to get her “in the mood”.

xo, Gelly.

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