Be your own mixologist, and other Pinterest lies

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Emily Van Zandt, RedEye

Raise your hand if you've recently started an awkward party conversation with "I was on Pinterest the other night ..."

Consider both my hands raised.

Something about the mind-numbing way I sift through posts from my friends every night makes me think I have Martha Stewart superpowers. I suddenly want to organize the kitchen I don't own, try a new braid in the long hair I don't have and plan new craft projects with the kids I definitely don't parent.

Typically, I snap out of it. Mine is a world of pre-packaged oatmeal mixes and store-bought cards. I don't have the time, Mason jars or scissors to do half of what I see pinned each night, which has likely saved me many dollars in raw food and glitter purchases.

But then came the drinks boards. Unlike hand-painted neon coat hangers, cocktailing as craft is a concept I can get behind. So down the rabbit hole I went.

Pin-trial no. 1: Save money, mix at home. You cannot escape the budgeting advice on Pinterest. So in the interest of saving a few bucks one week, I decided to live and drink on just what I had around the house. Learned: Don't mix Dr. Pepper and whiskey in a closed water bottle. Cleaned: Entire kitchen to eradicate sticky mess. Reminder: Never shake a soda.

Pin-trial no. 2:Gourmet Jell-O shots. Unlike the plastic cup-encased disasters you mixed in college, Pinterest Jell-O shots take a little more creative effort. Cups? Never! You'll be pouring the boiling liquid into lime, lemon and orange rinds to cool and slice into faux-fruit slices. Instead of classic combinations such as "Blue and Everclear," Pinterest suggests upgrades such as caramel apple, strawberry margarita and pink lemonade. In theory, a great idea. But buying the multiple bottles of booze needed to create these pint-sized delights is more than I can rationalize. With only the funds for one box of Jell-O and one type of booze, you can expect my post on "Strawberry-Andre champagne" Jell-O shots to hit the web soon.

Pin-trial no. 3: The Painkiller. If anyone balks at your preference for sweet rum-and-juice blends, just snap back that tiki cocktails are very, very in right now. And if you run into a pin on how simple a little mix of rum, pineapple juice, orange juice, coconut cream and nutmeg is, keep in mind the following: Coconut cream is probably not available at the grocery store down the street. No, a mix of coconut milk and condensed milk is not an acceptable substitute. And once you've committed to a strong dash of nutmeg, the only counter-solution is to add more rum. In fact, just pour the whole handle of Sailor Jerry into a plastic juice pitcher and go from there. Cocktail experiments are best when shared with friends. Live and learn.

Emily Van Zandt is a RedEye reporter. She just found out tonic water glows under a black light and is mildly horrified. evanzandt@tribune.com | @redeyedrinks