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Battling The Recession: Apply here

Lost your job to recession? Looking for a part time job to augment your meager salary? Always wanted to be a part of a consultancy firm? Well, you have reached the right place.

We are a fast growing company dedicated to the protection of the fringe elements and upholding of the spirit of intolerance. We provide consultancy services to little-known organizations battling against trivial issues. This includes providing strategic support about how to conjure an issue out of thin air, which news channels to contact, how to garner maximum TRP, finding innovating names for such campaigns, writing stuff for media bytes etc etc. We also arrange ‘goondas’ for these dharnas. Some of our recent illustrious clients include SRS, ‘The Association of Mumbai hair-dressers’ and’ The Bihar SlumLions’. Come, be a part of our success story.

Salary is negotiable with huge bonus during the Valentine’s week (no bonus on Diwali). Other perks include a life-long supply of pink chaddis, an opportunity to appear on news, a chance to visit pubs and malls which otherwise won’t allow filth like you to enter. TA/DA will be provided for our national level campaigns.

You can apply for either the consultant or the ‘goonda’ profile. If you can two-time, you will climb the corporate ladder all the more quickly. Qualifications required are a thick head, a good knowledge of abuses in atleast three Indian languages. Those knowing English will be placed in the metros. A propensity to pick up fight about anything is most desirable. Interested candidates may send their resume to the undersigned.