Engineering Hymn

We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers,
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, and come along with us,
For we don’t give a damn for any damn man, who don’t give a damn for us.

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show all the villagers her pretty bare white hide.
The most observant man on earth, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.

She said “I’ve come a long, long way, the man will go as far,
Who takes me off this goddamn horse and leads me to a bar.”
The men who took her off her horse and stood her too a beer,
Were a blurry-eyed surveyor, and a drunken Engineer.

Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt.
She never wore a stich of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who ever made her was an Engineer of course,
But an Artsie fink, on just one drink once made Godiva’s horse.

My father was a miner from the northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute.
They kicked me out at a tender age and never shed a tear,
“Get out of here you son of a bitch, and join the Engineers!”

An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the Artsman, “Match me drink for drink, let’s see if you’re a man”
They drank three drinks, the artsman died, his face was turning green.
But the Engineer drank on and said “It’s only gasoline”

I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my surprise she told me that she had never been kissed,
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Scientist.

Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They’d heard the Spanish Run fleet was headed up that way,
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day,
And though ass tight as virgins, you still could hear them say …

Caesar went of Egypt at the age of fifty three,
But Cleopatra’s blood was red, her heart was warm and free,
And every night when Caesar said goodnight at one o’clock,
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block.

My mother peddles opium, my father’s on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she’s on parole,
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they don’t even speak to me, ’cause I’m an Engineer.

After reading Kama Sutra, they tried position nine,
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled, and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble artsman and she was an ENGINEER.

The Army and the Navy boys set out to have some fun,
Down at the local tavern where the fiery liquids run,
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded in their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.

An Engineer once came to school so drunk and very late,
Carry a load that you’d expect to ship by freight,
The only things that held him up and kept him on his course,
Was a boundary condition and the electromotive force.

Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The prince began to climb at once, but soon he came out worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first.

We build all your bridges and we fix your roads too
There’s not a thing in the whole wide world an engineer can’t do
When your head is empty and your heart is full of fear
The first word out of your f***ing mouth is call an engineer!

The modern engineer must be politically correct,
No more motors lubricating, no more buildings rise erect,
No more electrical capacitors whose plates are high and fair
Instead of problem solving let’s just sit around and care.

A Reccer and an Engineer were stranded on a boat,
One person too heavy though, the poor boat wouldn’t float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So she flipped it in the water and the Reccer gave pursuit.

Elvis was a legend; he’s the King of Rock ‘n Roll,
But the life he was leading – well, it finally took its toll.
He realized too late, he’d choose the wrong career,
So he faked his death and went to school – now he’s an Engineer!