CYBERJAYA: Today local technology startup Hia Today Bhd announced its new autonomous driver upgrade was intelligent enough to change lanes without indicating, run red lights, tailgate on freeways, and take advantage of empty emergency lanes in traffic jams.

“While testing the No-Gai in rush hour thunderstorms the unit instinctively sped up, activated its hazard lights, then followed several other motorists up the quicker NKVE emergency lane!”

Some Singaporean driverless cars have found their jobs so stressful, they are spending their off-weekends in Johor drinking cheap RON95.

“These autonomous cars will also learn how to double or triple park like real Malaysians do,” Wong continued, “should the unit become self-aware of being installed in a luxury vehicle, it may take two parking spaces or a handicapped spot so it won’t get scratched.”