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Why Uni isn't for me, BUT why I still go...

05/04/2018

This post is slightly different to my usual posts and to be honest, I haven't really ever written about education. If you know me personally, you probably know that I hate education. I mean, I have nothing against it, in fact I think it is great that it is so widely available! However, for me, I just would rather not, you know? But there we go, I'm contradicting what I just said because I decided to go to University. You're probably thinking "What the hell is this gal on about?".. but let me just explain my love/hate relationship with education...

Throughout school I was never really 'brainy', but I was in the second highest set. I believe everyone has certain subjects in school which they are better at than others, mine was English and ICT. All my other subjects I just managed to get the grades I wanted and that's because I never had it in me to try hard enough in the subjects I didn't like. My first major achievement in school which made me really want to do something with my life is when I sat an English exam with my set and a set below me. It was when I was the only person who passed in my school for that exam, that I wanted to actually do better. So, I applied for college and made sure I got all the grades I needed to get in. Although, my biggest regret in school is not the fact I didn't try hard enough in the subjects I hated, but the fact I wasn't able to be myself because of the fear of the people around me. Maybe, if I was able to be myself in school, I would have been able to feel comfortable in my classes and could have thought more positively towards subjects I hated.

Then there was college. I did four AS Levels the first year; Sociology, Business, ICT and Welsh Baccalaureate. I would have loved to have done English Language in college but it wasn't an option unless I took English Literature too - funnily enough, I hated that. College was so different to school as I was surrounded by new people and the people I feared in school were not in any of my classes and I could actually open up! I loved Sociology and Business as it was so different to what I had done previously in school - and of course they were subjects I chose so I felt better about them overall! ICT... well, as I previously said, ICT was something I was good at in school. But in college the teacher we had was too busy signing up for gym classes during the hour, so never actually taught us anything or told us what to do, apart from throwing a book in front of us and telling us to get on with it. Uhhh.... get on with what hun? With that, it wasn't long until she was gone. Then exam period came. Not good. I could not motivate myself to revise for whatever reasons I had and guess what !!! I failed e v e r ysubject!

I chose to start over because I was soooo upset that I had let myself down and wasted a year of my life and achieved nothing! I did another two years in college and changed my ICT course to Health and Social Care because I knew I didn't want to do it ever again after that teacher. I didn't 100% put my head down like I told myself I would, because I know that's not me and like I said, I'd rather not when it comes to education. The last year of college I decided that I might actually want to go to University. Originally, all through school and the first two years of college, I wanted to finish college with my results and then work full time until 21. Then when I would turn 21 I would go back to college to do a Counselling course and that was something I was really passionate about and set on doing. But no, I told myself I should apply for University and push myself harder. I got my offers and I thought I'd never get in with the grades they were asking for because of my previous history when it comes to grades. So I came up with a back up plan of applying for full time work as a carer until I was 21. Results day came and I got in to University.

Needless to say, I was not prepared to go to University. I had told myself so many times that I wouldn't get in that I believed I'd never have a chance! I remember telling my friend on results day to check her UCAS to see if she got in, because she was so set on going! I didn't even check my UCAS and wanted to wait until I got my results. Funny story actually: whilst I was getting ready, my phone rang. I never answer unknown numbers, but for some insane reason I answered - "Hi, is this Whitney? I would like to congratulate you on getting into Criminology at Swansea University" ... WHAT? I was not expecting this!! I was so bloody shocked that I just said "Oh thank you" and hung up! Thinking back to it, he must of thought I was so rude! Oooooops.
A couple of weeks later I'm on campus and going to my first lecture! University is totally different to school and college. The likelihood of being in the same classes as anyone you actually know, unless planned, is very unlikely. FANTASTIC! In fact I have met five wonderful girls who are completely off their heads and it's great!

But here comes the shit. I take Criminology and Social Policy. I thought it would be fab learning new interesting things but some of the subjects within these courses are just... what? I HATE History, and one of the Social Policy subjects in Semester one was exactly that. No thanks hun! There was absolutely nothing Criminological about Semester one too... like what even is Study Skills?? I think I did that in Year 4. But now we are in Semester two. A lot more criminology which I am totally loving, but I have never done Law before, and the lecturers automatically assume you have - so what did you just say again? I'm paying £9,000 a year (eventually) to try to keep up with things I have never learnt before - but are being taught as if I have.. Also, I'm only there two days a week, one day is just for two hours, and the other day is just for four. There is no free parking and you have to park in a public car park which is a five to ten minute walk, depending where you park - which costs you £3-£5 a go.. I'm not a fan of having to walk basically miles with my arm falling off because of the ridiculous weight of books in my bag. I'm also not a fan of having to pay to park when I'm always bloody skint anyway!! Regardless of this, I have to drive half an hour to get to University and as a student money doesn't stretch far anyway. Sometimes I can't go in because I have used all my petrol to get to work and can't afford to drive there - or more likely can't afford the parking fee for just two hours!!! PS: How do people who live in uni manage to live???!

Although my course is classed as full time, at the moment it just feels like a waste of £9,000. I know a lot of the time you have to do your own research, but when I don't even know what is being said because I have never learnt it, I don't have a clue where to start!

Soooo... Why do I still go? My end goal is to have a career where I can earn enough for my family and myself to live comfortably. I don't think it matters how much I hate education and how much I would rather be doing anything else than sitting in a lecture hall at 9AM, my future is what is important. Immediate gratification is something I would absolutely love to be able to make myself do, but I have to graduate. Besides this, I don't want to be in a full time job yet anyway and I want to find myself by pushing to do these challenges - otherwise what's the point? The most bizarre thing about all this is the fact I want to do my Masters after I have finished my threelong years doing my undergraduate course. Am I mad? Yes.

I would love to hear your thoughts on education and University as a whole! I would also love to know what you decided to do after school/college, so let me know in the comments below!

Until next time,

Whitney.

20 comments on "Why Uni isn't for me, BUT why I still go..."

Can relate to this post soooo much. I hated education but I've always been academic and knew what I wanted to do and that the best way for me to do that would be to go to uni. It sucked but I ploughed on and now I even miss it a little. Not the work, but I miss the social aspect and the lie ins/days off. Keep going girl, it will be worth it in the end!

Love this post Whitney! I feel the same way sometimes, I do biology and if I had to pay to go (I don't cause Scottish) I would be really mad at how little some lecturers care about teaching you. However I love uni but more the living away and like student experience than the actual classes. I love biology but have no idea what I'm doing with my degree haha!

This is so relatable! I went to uni and both loved and hated it. Most of the modules we were doing I felt wasn't really related to the degree. for a 'full time' course I was only in uni 2 hours a day, what was I paying for!? I had multiple meltdowns throughout my 3 years and almost quit a million times.

Hang in there, because the when you finally get your degree and graduate and you can say 'I did it' is such a good feeling!

I 100% get how you are feeling, I don't think it was until 2nd or 3rd year in my 4 year course that I started actually doing coursework that I thought was relevant to my degree. My first year at uni was a completely random bunch of modules that at the time I thought was irrelevant, but looking back on it now, the weird stuff I didn't think would make a difference actually played a part in laying a small foundation on the courses that followed it!

Even now, I still wonder if it is for me but I'm so far deep in uni now that I honestly don't know any different. I think liking it to the degree that you don't get stressed, and it "being for you" are completely different things. And being annoyed at lecturers is basically part of the course syllabus.

I was really interested to read your reasons here. I hated my degree. In first year I actually sat at 1am one day, 11 hours before an essay was due, having written 0 words and filled out another UCAS application. I did do my essay afterwards. And I did get in my top two choices for where I applied that night. I didn't drop out. I thought it was a bigger test to stay even though I hated it. I finished, and by the time I had I wanted nothing to do with the subject I studied. But I still feel like I gained something from making myself stick it out. If it helps you get where you want to be, it's worth it x

Brilliant post Whitney, I did not go to Uni, as could never have afforded to even if I wanted, it took me some time, but I worked hard, and have done really well in my career, I work in Pharma, which is paid really well, so I am lucky! I think people have to do whats right for them, and once you set yourself on that path don't quit! you can be successful what ever you apply yourself to, some need degrees some not! Good on you and good luck, and you go for that masters xx

This is such an interesting post, and well done for being so honest in it! I think it's really admirable that you are pushing yourself in order to have a 'better' future, and as a uni graduate I do think that a degree is a good thing to have, but I do hope that you don't force yourself into doing something that ever makes you unhappy. I was like you, in that I didn't really enjoy my course in the first year, but after that I found it specialised a lot more and became SO much more interesting, so I hope that yours does too! Just remember that you are wonderful, with or without a uni education!Beth x Adventure & Anxiety

Stick it through; it'll be worth it in the end, trust me. Besides, once you get these boring subjects done and over with you can study the ones you really want to. Have you thought about living on campus? No commuting, no parking fees. :)

This is a really interesting read! Personally I didn't decide to go to university as it wasn't for me, despite all my teachers pushing me. I love learning but chose to do my a levels and go straight into work and I'm glad I did! Everyone is different and I hope you enjoy the rest of your time at uni xx

I totally get this! I was exactly the same, particularly during school and college years. Even though uni is a really expensive time I really think it is worth it. I’m not in a job that has anything to do with my degree but it’s the journey you take as an individual while your there that I think is priceless xx

Aw, Whitney. I know the feeling. My first two years of uni were hell for me. I have changed uni now to one where there is much more applied stuff and that really suits me better.I think it is amazing that you're still going despite your feelings about education. I wish you all the luck in the world for the rest of your uni time. Sophie xxx