Avoiding packing? Sit in this chair until my back hurts scrolling on tumblr apparently…. and to help aid in my “turn into a fat ass instead of packing”… I’m so ashamed of what I’ve eaten today b/c I didn’t want to mess with making anything in that kitchen any longer.

But I’m sort of irked b/c I knew packing would be this way. He packs up his man cave and everything else is left to me. But then again, I also know that if I could get him to do a lot of it in the end I would probably be frustrated as well b/c I would know what had gone into what box and blah blah blah. I can’t really win there.

Last night I once again sort of felt that tinge of “wow this is about to not be my home anymore and that makes me kind of sad.”

It has been peaceful here this weekend. Sadly it dawned on me why… 1) next door neighbors with some of the creepy kids have been gone which goes to show that the kids coming out of the place next door are sort of the ring leaders for all hanging out around here. When they aren’t here, none of the other kids really hang out around here too much.

Tonight I was out on my patio watering my plants and the neighborhood was sounding like it was being bombed with all the fireworks lol and the lightening bugs had come out and it was warm but not hot and otherwise things were quiet and it was what I was used to… how it was before things started to change. I felt nostalgic for my realization that this was “home” and all that. I was happy here. I stopped being happy here. There are moments when I am still happy here. But I am packing it up. In a week I will be moving it.

I think my emotional attachment is partly because it still feels so unreal to me. That I am going someplace new that embodies so many of the things that I wanted. When we first viewed the house I really didn’t do anything but a brief walk through… as I was not expecting to have it offered to me that very day. The next day we went and brought back the deposit and Ki & I both took the time to investigate it a little more thoroughly, but I still felt really detached from it… in that it just didn’t seem real for some reason. I guess in my mind it could still blow up tomorrow or catch fire and burn to the ground before we move in or something…heh.

Yesterday while doing some errands in town, it was soooooooo quiet out. Then it dawned on me that a lot of people were probably have cookouts and shit for July 4th. I then decided that I was irked that for the past several years nobody in my family has wanted to do anything for July 4th. It wasn’t like we ever had some July 4th ritual or anything, but it was nice that a least for a few years when I moved back from WI, we would often times do something. Well next year I’m having a fucking cook out at my house dammit.

I wonder if our neighbors across the way here will do their annual fireworks show tonight? If they do it will be the last one we will enjoy watching here. That I will miss… an awesome 4th of July fireworks show that I do not have to leave my patio for.

I’ve given up on watching the city’s firework display. It is generally very good but ever since they moved the location a few years back, it has just sucked. They moved them to the university campus and the traffic and shit now… it is not worth seeing them. And you can’t even see them well anyways seeing…oh… I dunno…. The campus is filled with TREES AND BUILDINGS THAT BLOCK MOST OF THE SKY. I love watching fireworks, so those asshats sort of ruined that for me.

Well I suppose I should go try to contemplate how to divide up the rest of this week’s moving activities so I’m not scrambling at the last minute.