About Me

Friday, February 29, 2008

It’s not a mother’s day or any special days..just feel like writing about my mom.. I love her.. love her very much..and it’s not my style of telling her how much I love her.. but deep in my heart I really love u..We had so much argument..since I completed my SPM. To be frank, I’m more close to my ayah..u know lah kan.. pompuan..always be papa’s girl.. but when it comes to financial matters, love, health..u always run to your mother..Knowing my mom..she’s quite sensitive.. and very bad that she has me as her daughter..haha.. I don’t know how to pamper her.. and I don’t know how to say sorry in proper way.. well that’s me.. an egoistic person.. not like my brothers.. who can fight with my mom so so badly..and in a few minutes will say sorry and hug her with tears..it’s totally not me..heheh.. so bad huh?I had a bad history with my mom.. long ago.. and believe it or not..it’s about a guy..what a fu*k?? who is he anyway?? Because of him i don’t talk to my mom for a year.. can u imagine?? A year!!! We only talk about serious matter.. like ‘ma, makan’.. nak story mory no way.. my mom really like him..which I don’t.. luckily everything get back to normal.. (my mom pon malas dah kot nak layan anak yg stubborn giler)..hehe..I’m the only girl in the family.. I don’t know if I’m lucky or unlucky? When u’re the only daughter in the family I bet all the attention will definitely go to you.. but the worse thing is.. my mom become so sensitive.. I think because she can only share her prob with me.. being me, I’ve to play smart..but I’m not smart enough..huhu… she’ll become sensitive when I regularly spend my time with friends.. bis tu?? Mom is always mom.. and friend is friend… pls don’t compare.. aiyoh… I never blame her because I really understand her situation.. my mom is adopted by a malay family.. her parents are Chinese and she never had a chance to find her parents. So she only have her own family and one and only stubborn daughter.. I realized that it’s my responsibilities to pay more attention to her.. I know after I’m married she has to let me go.. it’s tough kan? But what to do? I’m trying my best to satisfy her.. it’s difficult because I’m not a type yg lemah lembut…. Uwaaaaa..sorry ma.. ssh nyer.. sometimes when I try to be lemah lembut as she expected.. rasa mcm keras mcm kayu plak.. hehehhe.. so funny right? Filla, don’t blame others if one day your daughter react the same way..huhu.. ok ok.. I will try not to be so sensitive.. hehehe..My mom is a bestfriend of mine..kadang we spent so much time lepaking at mamak.. dulu2 lah.. go shopping.. confirm she miss all those moments kan?.. huhhuhuu..me too.. I miss that moment.. but I’ve spent my time with her on her birthday last year.. went shopping at klcc..eating cake..laughing..talking… till I forgot to pick my Acih at nursery.. kelam kelibut sent my mom home and went back to putrajaya to fetch Acih..I know that u’ll never read this.. but I just want u to know that I love you very much.. only u know me well.. coz I’m still your baby.. I still want u to feed me..heheh..dap ler mama suap..huahhaha.. please don’t get angry easily, I never meant to hurt you.. I love u, I love u.. when u love someone u don’t have to say it kan?? (haa kan aku dah jiwang balik nieh!!!)..*hugs*

7 comments:

being the only girl in the family is never easy... i have a sensitive mom too.. and its really hard to understand what she expect from you... but... i know by hard that she loves me dearly.. with all her heart.. she cried when she sees me in my labour pain..

i know how it feels... but trust me.. you can never love her more than she does love you..

filla... this is a beautiful post, filled with honour and love. these can only transcend what is happening at the moment, whatever that may be, and turn it into grace. sori la kalau aku jiwang lebey... ko pon tau dah aku mmg minah emo kan... so, i feel really connected with u in this entry. ko dgn aku sama part ni, the only daughter, in the middle plak tu in tiga beradik...

there's also a moment when me & mak hitting a rough patch. thou i want her to be the only individual in the world with whom i wish to share my heart, but i can not.

i have once considered 'being the only daughter' is a burden to have so many expectations placed on me and i often dreaded the day where i would be needed by either mak or my husband. it used to aggravate me to think their needs might one day get in the way of my “life”. it’s only when i am a mother myself that i understand. what i once considered a potential burden, is something i am honoured to carry and do so with pride.

filla, anak mana tak sayang mak kan... she raised us and so she must be one hell of a woman to make a daughter as amazing and brilliant and caring as us (cewah!) the emotion and concern in this entry of urs was transparent and genuine. walaupun ko slalu citer kat aku thru ym, tp baca apa yg ko tulis sini perasaannyer berbeza sket. ur mama is such a special lady and the bond and strength of the love u share with each other is so strong it will withstand all of the difficulties u are experiencing now, and more.

i believed that all things - no matter how hard they may be to endure - happen for all of the right reasons. Insya Allah. whatever it is that's going on between u & ur mama, i'll send u all of my prayers and think of u. ur loved and ur mother too! *hugs*

About Me

Hello!! Welcome to my blog.. You can call me Filla.. I am a mother to 3 Kasihs. I love writing and that is the reason why i never stop what i'm doing right now. To my readers, thank you for being my supporters.. i do appreciate all of you ;)
Personal Email: framekasih@yahoo.com
Business Email:
fadilla@bloggerati.me