I lead Ivikk to the food table. Looking back I find that Tom and Tabby have disappeared somewhere. Pouring myself a bowl of water I think nothing of the disappearance, sitting down to lap at it, debating with myself whether I should get some more food or not. Yawning and stretching I find myself lost in thought, wondering what my family would make of me now. Hopefully not a rug!

I noticed that Tom and Tim were both gone. I guess they must've stopped to check something out on the way back over here, but I wasn't worried. Suddenly I realized that perhaps I wasn't really hungry again already - maybe I was just bored. "Hey guys, does this hotel have a pool?"

"You look ridiculous" came the small, tinny voice that evoked a sharp jerk of the head from me. It was Tim, Tabby Tim that is, seemingly recovered from his pillow related assault. He lazily strode onto the diving board before coming to a rest at the edge, permitting me time to stroke up to just underneath him. it was at this point I realized the significant size difference between us; wherein I was still the size of a short human, Tim was no larger than a regular house cat. This afforded me tremendous advantages, ones I strongly intended to exploit...

"Oh, its really not so bad." I say casually, drifting around beneath Tim like some sort of water strider. "It cools you down, cleans you off WITHOUT application of your own saliva I might add." At this point I'd moved forward in front of Tim, permitting myself to sink a little lower in the water. "It also offers unparalleled avenues...FOR SNEAK ATTACKS!"

Like some great sea creature I burst from the water, a rapid stroke of the wings carrying me further out until I was level with Tim. Wrapping my wings wide, I attempted to trap and grab Tim, to pull him into myself and drag him back into the water with me.

_________________Poets have hitherto been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

I looked over where Dusk nodded and saw Tom about to splash Tim like a mythical sea monster. I couldn't help but giggle a little bit.Looking back at Dusk, I smirked and said "Most cats don't like water. I'm one of the exceptions."

[cutos on knowing my fursona's size, smarty bird]Tom floated towards me as I lazily watched, his bird arguments bouncing off of me like bullets off of a large Russian mercenary. "Is that so, ah yes fascinating; I'll certainly rethink my ways and strive to give 'water' another chance in my life. Though I have no need to cool off: I'm always cool."

Tom was somehow undaunted, "It also offers unparalleled avenues...FOR SNEAK ATTACKS!" he said as he burst forth.

But I was expecting this: woe to any cat that gets ambushed (and woe to friends of such cats that bring up past examples of such ambushings), and raven's are not the most subtle of birds. As he leaped from his watery sanctuary like a giant shadow kraken, threatening to drag me into the abyss, I dove off the appropriately named board between his wings spread wide and drove both of my hindlegs into his beak, "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" My victory was affirmed, though I noticed several flaws to my plan. First, the added weight of the water on the already bigger bird served to absorb more of my momentum than I would have liked, sending me bottoms up through the air after impact. Second, ... oh right the pool. I managed to get out, "In hindsigh---" before crashing into the col%d!co!d,w,et,!cold$c!oldwe%t gottagetoutgottagetoutgottagetoutgottagetout

I swam frantically, hair matted and eyes bulging, away from my nemesis towards the closest sign of dry around: one of several inflated pirate boat pool toys. I frantically clambered up the side, claws extended to get a grip on the slick plastic. There I sat, battle-scarred and panting, trying to ignore the hissing sound of rushing air.

_________________Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love.Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

Ah, but for the agility of a feline....At first I was helpless as the surprisingly nimble Tim dodged my grab attempt, leaping onto my face and kicking off with a loud "Boop!" It was brilliant, well executed, and hilariously short sighted. As we both descended I couldn't help but smile at the comical appearance of Tim, all for legs outstretched, tumbling head over heels in a magnificent if entirely unintentional series of flips that resulted in a satisfying splash. I recovered first, and watched with wicked joy as Tim panicked, flailing in the water as he fought to reach the pool edge. Feeling a bit bad for the little guy, I gave him a push with a wing, getting him close enough to the pool edge to clamor over, and watching as he sat there, quite obviously miserable.

Floating over, I emerged just far enough from the water to rest my beak on the side of the pool, leaving the rest of my body below the water line. with a wry smile I stared at Tim.

"You look ridiculous."

_________________Poets have hitherto been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

I sat shivering on the pool's walkway, too startled to think of anything except finding a comically large hair dryer... or a leaf blower... yeeeeaaaa... leaf blower.

"You look ridiculous." I turn with a start to see Tom's smug face watching me, with his big black beak pointing at me.

I just stare at him unblinking, then look down at myself, then back at him. Sitting sopping wet, all my fur heavy and flat, I laughed at the pure, unfiltered irony. Somehow, being wet didn't seem nearly as bad in light of this. "Don't look at me like that, you doofus featherbutt" I say, lightly patting his beak to the side with a paw, "You want me in there so bad, COME AND GET ME." At this, I lunge off the walkway at Tom and push us both under the water, before disengaging and paddling to the surface. Swimming away from Tom, I motor towards a cluster of pool toys, aiming for another small inflatable pirate ship.

_________________Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love.Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

I stand at the table and eats and eats without using plates, forks or whatever there should be. I hear splashing at the pool and I look at Tom and Tim and giggle."That's probably well deserved, hehe. Water always needs a second chance. I don't like it, but I'd jump in if necessary" I continue to eat.I look at Dusk and ask "Have everybody else been eating?"

I nod to Ivikk, "Yeah, we all had noms before you entered the scene, so to speak."Standing up, I walk over to the glass wall and pull up a seat, waiting to see how long that Tom and Tim will take to notice that they have an audience

[blarg, totally missed the inflatable reference. Well, lets take a page from George Lucas and screw continuity.]

I am plunged beneath the water by a surprisingly heavy Tim as the tabby counterattacks, catching me entirely off guard by an assault into the pool. Fortunately, I managed to get a good breath of air before being driven underwater. From beneath the surface, I watched as the small mammal fought to swim. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't quite as nimble on the water than he was on the ground. Slowly, a tune began to form in my head...

Dun dun.

Dun dun.

dun dun dun dun dun dun...

Arising behind Tim with as slowly as possible, such that only my eyes and nostrils peaked out above the water line, I stared evilly at the cat. My zen was broken, unfortunately, by an accurately tossed potato that struck my square between the eyes.

"hey, hey! Who is...stahp!" I panic, unable to avoid the continuing cascade of potatoes.

_________________Poets have hitherto been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

I crept around the side, using my catlike agility to do what I thought was a stealthy approach. My soft pawpads really dampened the sound of my footfalls; and with all the commotion from the spuddy projectiles being launched into the water, I was fairly certain that nobody could hear me, and that nobody was really paying attention. This worked to my advantage as I crept around to the side of the pool room. Okay, I thought, now's a good time to see how pouncing works. I slowly lowered myself to the ground, in as much of a catlike pose as I could manage with this humanlike body. Surprisingly, I could get pretty close - although my ligaments and torso looked like that of a human (albeit covered in dark indigo fur), they were as flexible and lightweight as that of a cat, to scale more or less.

With my hand paws and foot paws on the ground, essentially on all fours, and with my tail end slightly in the air, I was ready to strike.

"CANNONBALL!!!" I shouted, leaping at the pool with as much force as I could muster.I wasn't really in the proper pose for a cannonball, though. I just yelled that because it seemed appropriate for such a sudden and unexpected pool dive.

Paddling through the pool, water starts erupting around me as torrents of potatoes rain from the sky. "AHH! Vegetables!" I scream as I finally reach an inflatable boat. I grip the misnamed, plastic handhold with a paw, claws retracted this time, and pull myself up into the ship. I bring myself shakily to my paws on the swaying floor and pick up a plastic sword next to me saying, "Yaaarr, ye hit us hard but not harrd enough. On your feet lads, Prepare The Cannons!" I turn to my invisible fleet, but my imagination power bar is dwindling on low and the bobbing toys seem kind of unmotivated. Seeing the wounded Tom struggling to dodge the onslaught, I commit to my next move. Awkwardly rowing the boat with the sword, I reach Tom and point my sword at his beak, "It seems like your time of reckoning is upon you, ya scurvy winged rat, but I'll be dammed (with a hydroelectrical setup and everything) if starch is the one to finally do ya in. Steady your talons, man, we'll send these tubers back into the ground from wence they came " I offer the other end of the sword to pull Tom up.

Just then, a ferocious furry feline leapt into the water, creating a large wave that crashed into the side of the boat, knocking me off my feet. Sputtering, I regain my footing and cry "Avast wait is that what pirates say wer takin in water! Hurry ya carrion lovin fool, thers no time to lose!"

_________________Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love.Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

I throw the last potato at Tim and hit him hard enough for him to fall of the "pirate ship". "BULLS EYE! Or... no... That must be Cat's eye... Whatever." I say and shrug."Well, back to noms" I go to the table filled with food and eat a half roasted beef. I look around suspiciously and grab a pie. I ask Dusk to turn around, and I smash the pie in his face. "HAHAHA! Now you're all tasty 'n' stuff!" I say and continue my noms

"Well... I probably deserved that after all the potatoes and pie smashing." I go under the surface and swim towards Tom. I grab his beak just out of nowhere just to scare him. I get up and take a deep breath and giggle. I wink and go under the surface again. I swim towards "land" and get up

After being hit off the boat, I sputter to the surface yet again and cry, "Half kin traitor! Your coon side 'as overwhelmed yar noble blood!"

I clamber back up to the boat and man a mounted water gun just as ivikk is flung into the pool. I wait for the figure to emerge from under the water before pumping streams of water at his muzzle. "Death to the vegetable infidel," I yell, throwing an inflatable volley ball which hits his back just as he is pulling himself out of the pool.

_________________Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love.Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

I ignore the ball (Or almost) and walk to the closest spot where Tim is. I look around suspiciously. All of a sudden I just shake as much as I can to get all the water off my fur and made sure it reached to Tim. I grin evilly

The liocoon shakes himself maliciously at me. I look down as the water hits my already soaked fur, but it's the principle of the matter. "Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? I dare say you bite your thumb, but do you bite your thumb at us?!" I grab my plastic sword and leap over out of the pool and onto the walkway. "Good King of Cats, this day I will have from you one of your nine lives!" I say as I point it at ivikk.

***Meanwhile in Warwickshire, England: the energy harnessed from William Shakespeare spinning in his grave accumulated to an amount capable of heating the Ramen noodle meals of every artist in a 15 mile radius.****

_________________Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love.Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

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