The Harem is a collective of fans of the long-overlooked female supporting characters of The X Files.

We have a community on LiveJournal for topical discussion. That's our primary meeting point. We also have a fairly comprehensive fiction archive. However, it is not up to date. Fiction posted since the end of the series may not be present or catalogued. The creator of the Harem, Deslea, is not active in X Files fandom anymore, but still hosts the database and will work with volunteers to get newer stories up on request.

Title: Many Happy Returns of the Day
Author: Rev. Anna Send feedback to
ataylorsweringen@yahoo.com
Category: SR
Rating: NC-17
Keywords: Sharon/Skinner, birthday
Summary: Sharon gives Skinner a birthday he won't soon
forget
Disclaimer: The sex Sharon and Walter have is all
mine; unfortunately Sharon and Walter aren't. They
belong to 1013 productions. Life's a bitch, ain't
it?. Your Love Is Extravagant is written by Darrell
Evans. Draw Me Closer is written by Craig Smith.

Title: Many Happy Returns of the Day
Author: Rev. Anna

A soft tickle blew across the tip of Walter Skinner's
left ear as he slept. He waved his hand in the air
blindly in that general direction, as if trying to
shoo away a fly. His action only served to intensify
the little draft. He turned over and buried his ear
in the pillow only to have the soft draft move across
his neck to his right ear.

A sleepy morning smile crossed his lips as he now
realized what the source of the tickle was. He turned
on his back and blinked a few times until he could get
a semi-clear look at the mischievous pair of lips
puckered above him.

"Wake up birthday boy."

"Do something more useful with those lips than giving
my ears a cold," he grumped.

"Fresh," Sharon said. Her soft laugh tickled the air
now as she lowered her lips to his then unexpectedly
took a sweet, playful nip at the tip of his nose.

"Ooo, you little minkus," he laughed, grabbing her by
her arms and pushing her down so that now he was on
top. Her face was fully in focus now. Her eyes
bright with a teasing gleefulness that made him laugh
even more.

Sharon laughed and placed her left hand behind his
neck so he was drawn down nose to nose with her.

"Your love is extravagant," she sang softly, kissing
him lightly, her right hand slipping between his legs,
teasingly stroking his penis.

"Your friendship intimate
I find I'm moving
To the rhythms of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating
In our secret place
Your love is extravagant"

His hips moved forward in response to her warm,
familiar massage.

"Watch that!" he gasped, kissing her back. "I don't
feel like ending up in hell on my birthday because you
make love to me using a praise song that is God's
property."

"Silly boy," she laughed, continuing to play with his
cock. "God knows the difference between eros and
agape. When I sing these songs in church it's agape;
but here in bed with you, on your birthday . . . this
is eros with a capital E."

"I must have missed that sermon," he moaned as her
firm stroke had him hard in no time.

"Well let me show you what it was about," she said,
pulling his face to hers and opening her mouth,
allowing the sweet coolness of their tongues to meet.

"Capture my heart again," she half sang, half
whispered against the side of his neck as he settled
between her legs, spreading her thighs with his body.
His fingers pushed up inside her while he thumbed her
clit. She pressed her face deeply against his
shoulder as her cum flowed over his fingers.

Skinner withdrew his fingers and entered her, easily
sliding into the wet welcome that awaited him.
Together they moved as one, groaning, laughing,
humming, breathing deep, setting a long distance
rhythm that could take them all morning if they let
it. Soft sighs and deep throated moans gave way to
loud gasps and short breathless shouts until they had
sucked all the air from between them.

Suddenly Skinner couldn't breathe at all. He pressed
his face between her breasts and pulled her against
him as he came hard, pumping inside her to the beat of
their one heartbeat. He laughed, embarrassed, unable
to remember when he had come that hard in the morning.

He gripped her hips and held her tightly against him,
thrusting quickly, changing the long distance pace
until it was an intense sprint and she was moving just
as quickly. With a rapid series of quick breaths, she
cried out and arched against him, signaling that she
too had crossed the finish line.

They lay there quietly, recouping, luxuriating in the
moment.

"Damn," Walter finally said. "I want to have a
birthday everyday."

Sharon's shy laugh bubbled up from beneath him.

"You sure you can't take the day off and come to
Chicago with me?" he whined.

"And what would you propose I do while you're enjoying
yourself with the rest of the boys and girls at your
conference?"

"Buy me a birthday surprise."

"You can't buy the birthday surprises I'm going to
give you today."

"This is true," he agreed, kissing her. "No store
could possibly stock what you gave me this morning."

"Birthday surprise number two coming up," she said,
kissing him then bouncing out of bed without another
word.

Skinner smiled and ran his hand along her side of the
bed, savoring the feel of the heat her body had left
behind. He took a deep breath, trying to smell her as
well and suddenly became aware of an aroma that he
hadn't smelled before.

He sat up and put on his glasses just as Sharon came
back in, carrying a white wicker tray with a covered
dish set upon it. She placed it down so that it
formed a little table over his lap. She lifted the
cover and there was his favorite breakfast: silver
dollar pancakes, bacon and hash browns. To his right
was a steaming hot cup of black coffee.

"Were you timing us?" he asked. She shook her head no.

"Don't need to with you. You make love very
expediently in the morning. Now if this had been
dinner, this wouldn't have worked."

He reached for a piece of bacon but she caught him by
the wrist, forcing the offending hand down on the bed.

"Allow me," she said, picking up the bacon and feeding
it to him.

He smiled, opened and chewed and swallowed until his
plate was clean and he had his fill of coffee.

"Thank you sweetheart."

"You're welcome, darling."

He moved the tray and took her in his arms.

"Got anymore surprises for me?" he asked eagerly.

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

She smiled, kissed him and headed for the bathroom.

"I'm going to miss you tonight," he sighed.

"Dream of this morning and you won't be so lonely,"
she said, blowing him a kiss then closing the door."

Their morning stayed with Skinner all day. The
participants of his first presentation, Budgeting for
Bureaucrats, were pleasantly surprised how funny and
surprisingly bawdy their presenter could be.

"I never thought I'd enjoy a seminar on this topic,"
one attendee said as he shook Skinner's hand. "Man
this was like great sex."

Skinner laughed and thanked the man. At the break he
phoned home, but got the answering machine. He
glanced quickly around then whispered a breathy, randy
thank you for the morning into the answering machine.

The attendees of his second presentation were on the
floor as Skinner regaled them with Agents, Attitude
and Authority Issues. They could barely write in
their notebooks they were laughing so hard. Again
hearty thank you's greeted the end of his
presentation. Again Skinner thanked them and hurried
to a quiet corner to phone Sharon, and again he got no
answer. He found there were no messages for him back
at the hotel front desk either.

He looked at his watch. Missing her earlier made
sense. He should have called her at work. But it was
five here which meant it was six in D.C. She should
be home by now.

"Well why should she be hanging around a big empty
apartment waiting for a phone call from you?" he
scolded himself. "She's probably out with Andrea or
gone to a movie or something."

More than a little disappointed, he went up to his
room, toying with a fantasy that maybe he couldn't
reach her because she had come to Chicago and was
waiting for him upstairs. But his room was empty as
Christ's tomb.

He let off a despondent sigh and laid down. The final
panel discussion was at dinner. He decided to take a
little nap and then give Sharon a call before he went
down.

Memories of the morning made it hard to find a
comfortable resting position and after about forty
minutes, he gave up. He took a shower that relaxed
him then came out and called Sharon. Once again he
only got the answering machine.

"Damn," he swore sadly as he dressed for dinner in an
elegant black tux that Sharon had packed.

"It's your birthday," she had said. "You should be
elegantly dressed."

"Yeah," he thought sadly. "Elegantly dressed with you
by my side, dancing and enjoying myself in D.C."

Dinner wasn't bad and despite not being able to
connect with Sharon earlier, Skinner was animated
during his presentation. He pulled off a few jokes
which were well received and made excellent eye
contact with the room. It was as he was answering a
question that he saw Sharon enter through the east
entryway.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It
is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

And what a sun she was! Sharon was wearing a cool
lemon yellow evening dress that he had never seen on
her before. It had a satin shawl collar that curved
along her breastbone, tracing a lazy line from
shoulder to shoulder. The tailored bodice hugged her
torso and ran along her breasts, her sides, her hips
in much the same way his hands often did when they
made love. The bodice then tapered nicely at the
waist into a skirt that flared out at the waist in
yards of fabric that flowed around her in slow motion
at her slightest movement.

He cleared his throat and took more questions. But no
matter who he addressed, he always found a way to
glance in her direction. And each time he found her
eyes were on him.

His Q & A segment over, he sat down to a round of
hearty, appreciative applause. As the next speaker
was being introduced, she walked seductively over to a
table in the middle of the hall, smiled beguiling at a
man who was seated next to an empty chair and, with
the slightest raise of her eyebrow, silently requested
permission to sit there. The man jumped to his feet
and held the chair for her with a look that made
Skinner want to come off the platform and deck him.

A little surreptitious wag of her finger showed him
she noticed that little bit of choler. He sat back in
his chair, annoyed at how close the man had moved his
chair next to hers. Skinner folded his arms and tried
to pay attention to the next presentation, hoping the
new speaker would be to the point and animated. No
such luck.

During the boring presentation Skinner glanced in
Sharon's direction several times and became more
annoyed as each time he found her table mate
whispering to her. Never taking her eyes off of
Skinner, she would casually nod yes or shake her head
no.

Skinner cleared his throat and leaned his face against
his hand, pretending to listen to the presenter. He
glanced out of the corner of his eye in her direction
and saw she was holding her head in exactly the same
manner.

Shit. Here his fantasy had come true, but now he
wasn't so sure it was a good thing. Skinner twisted
his lips and tried again to pay attention to the
speaker. He succeeded for all of five minutes.

He glanced back over at her table, then did a covert
double take. Where was that guy's right hand? With a
start, he watched Sharon pull it up from beneath the
table and give it a firm "stay put" pat.

"And it better stay put too," Skinner thought angrily.

He could tell by her smile she was reading his mind
and was quite enjoying his discomfort.

He coughed and sat up straight, using his right hand
to smooth out his bowtie. He glanced over at her
again and saw her cough and smooth out her collar in a
similar manner. A quick sly wink from one of her
beautiful eyes pushed the temperature in the room from
warm to hot. A little bead of sweat formed on his
upper lip.

He pulled at his collar and grasped his water glass.
She fingered her collar in a similar manner and
grasped her glass. He rubbed the side of the glass
with his thumb; she did the same. He held the glass
an inch from his lips; she held hers an inch from
hers. He drank until he drained the glass; so did
she.

"What the fuck! She's playing with me!" he realized.

He could feel his ears get hot with embarrassment. No
one knew who she was or what her relationship to him
was. If anyone were watching them, it would appear
that he was flirting with her or at the very least
letting her flirt with him. That thought ratcheted
the temperature up another twenty degrees. He glanced
nervously from left to right to make sure no one was
watching them. When he looked at her again, he could
see her laughing at his discomfort.

"What is she going to do next?" he wondered. She
didn't make him wonder long.

She set her glass deliberately in front of her and
poured water into it. She then put her middle finger
in the water, swished it around and placed it in her
mouth, pulling it sensuously in and out. Then she
mouthed "I dare you."

Skinner blanched, but a little smirk twitched at the
corner of his mouth. A smattering of applause
signaled the presenter had finally finished. Skinner
applauded too, then leaned back in his chair, eyes on
her. As the moderator introduced the last presenter,
Skinner put his glass deliberately in front of him and
poured water into it. As the audience applauded the
end of the intro, Skinner broke a coffee stirrer in
half, looked away from the glass thoughtlessly and
placed his attention on the new speaker. He dipped
the stirrer into the water, swished it around a few
times before letting it drop to the bottom of the
glass. He had to stick his finger into the glass to
retrieve it.

Upon pulling it out with his middle finger, he looked
at her, slowly pushed the finger into his mouth and
sucked the water off of it. A broad smile broke out
on her lips and a brilliant gleam sparkled in his
direction. She licked her finger and chalked one up
to him in the air.

The last presenter finally finished and the audience
applauded politely as the guy sat down. The moderator
was up now, thanking the panelists for their time and
encouraging the audience to give them all a last round
of applause. But Skinner wasn't listening. He
watched Sharon tap her watch, hold up five fingers and
pointed between him and her. He leaned back casually
in his chair and nodded slowly.

She got up from her table without making her excuses
and walked out of the east door exit. More than a few
heads turned as she left.

Everyone was getting up now. Skinner made a show of
looking at his watch, asked where the nearest phone
was and found himself pointed toward the west door.

He made his goodbyes and went that way. Once outside
he doubled back until he was in the corridor before
the banquet hall. His heart sank when he saw no sign
of her. He spied a bar at the end of the hallway and
walked into it.

Standing at the door he scanned the room until he
found her, politely rejecting the advances of some guy
who wouldn't take no for an answer. Upon closer
examination, Skinner recognized him immediately as her
erstwhile tablemate. The prick had followed her here,
probably hoping to get lucky.

"I'll show you lucky, you little schmuck," Skinner
thought.

He straightened his tie and walked over to them.

"Is there a problem here?"

"What's it to you?" the man asked arrogantly.

"Well call me old fashioned," Skinner said with a calm
that belied the urge to leave the guy bloodied on the
floor, making out his last will and testament. "But I
don't like to find guys hitting on my wife."

The guy spluttered his apologies to Skinner and Sharon
and beat a hasty retreat. Skinner was watching him
scurry away with a deep sense of satisfaction when the
sound of Sharon's laughter brought his attention back
to her.

"Did you enjoy yourself in there, Mrs. Skinner?" he
asked, aware that an odd mixture of pique and arousal
were at war within him.

She burst out laughing, wrapping him up in her glee.

"Try and tell me you didn't enjoy birthday surprise
number three?" she challenged him, moving in close so
that no one could see she was resting her hand in his
crotch.

Skinner found himself a little breathless and could
scarcely hear her voice over the pounding of his heart
in his ears as arousal won the day.

"I get to see you squirm about as often as Halley's
comet," she said, her lips a hair's breath away from
his ear. "So I savor any chance I get."

"Do you now?"

"Um hum," she nodded, gently increasing the pressure
of her hand.

"I bet you think this is very funny," he rasped,
hotter by the second receiving her erotic albeit
discreet massage in such a public place.

"Ooo," she said, in pouty but mock contrition. "Have
I been a naughty girl?"

"Naughty is an understatement," he said, resting his
nose in her hair.

"Well, maybe you need to take me some place quiet and
teach me a good lesson," he whispered.

She kissed him full on the mouth as if he and she were
the only two people in the bar, the only two people on
the whole planet who knew what love was.

Finally breaking off the kiss, she stood on tip toe
and whispered, "All right then. Let's go upstairs and
see about that lesson."

"Birthday surprise number four?" he asked, removing
her hand and placing her arm around his waist.

She nodded.

"Birthday surprise number four."

His arm found its way around her shoulders and without
another word, they went up to his room.

Once in the room they were kissing desperately like
teenagers in the back seat of a car. His right hand
massaged her breasts while his left cupped her
buttocks. Her left hand cupped his ass and pulled his
groin to her crotch while her right hand resumed its
earlier massage only with much less discretion.

She pressed her mouth against his ear and quietly
sang,

"My spirit is yearning to be with You
To rest in Your presence to be renewed
My heart is searching for Your chambers
To worship You
One holy passion for communion Lord
Draw me closer to Your heart
Draw me close to You
Draw me closer to Your heart
Draw me close to You"

"No wonder everyone is starting these contemporary
praise services if this is the effect praise music has
on a person," he panted.

She stopped massaging and gave his nose a playful
tweak.

"Don't be irreverent."

She brought him over to the bed and had him sit down.
She knelt before him and took off his shoes and socks
then made him lay down without her.

"What--?"

She pressed a finger to his lips while she removed his
glasses. She laid them aside and kissed him again.
He responded, running his hands along her back as she
began to undress him.

She tossed his jacket and tie to the floor, then
slowly opened his shirt kissing his exposed skin until
she had it completely off his body. He started to
unzip her dress, but she stopped him, pressing his
hands down so that his arms were bent with his hands
resting palms up on the pillows at his head.

"Uh-uh," she said, straddling him. "You first. Put
your hands behind your neck and see if you can stay
still until I'm done."

He laced his fingers behind his neck as she began
kissing him again. He wanted to move as her mouth
touched his face, his neck, his chest, then found his
mouth again. He shivered uncontrollably as her tongue
slid down to his navel and her lips kissed a path back
up to his nipples. He chewed his bottom lip as her
tongue, circling first the left then the right nipple,
accompanied the slow opening of his belt, the
unzipping of his fly, the pulling down of first his
pants then his briefs. Her hands slid around to his
ass and cupped his cheeks, giving them a firm squeeze
before allowing her fingers to part them. He started
to squirm and wriggle, suppressing with great
difficulty the excruciating urge to move his arms.

"Walter, keep those hands still," she warned, chiding
him as if he were a naughty child trying to steal a
cookie before dinner. She kissed him gently, her
whisper warming the side of his face.

He let off a disgruntled sigh, only able to comply by
closing his eyes.

"Good boy. Now lift your hips."

He obeyed instantly and she smiled, totally removing
his pants and briefs, dropping them to the floor. She
pulled her zipper down, quickly lifting her dress off
and tossing it to the floor.

"Roll over."

He pushed his face into the pillow, keeping his
fingers laced behind his neck. He felt her move his
hands to the top of his head then gasped as her lips
kissed the back of his head, his neck, his shoulder
blades, his arms, the small of his back, his ass over
and over; kissing and licking until he was moaning,
trying to find a comfortable position for his cock
which was now quite stiff.

He had lost track of time when he felt her shift and
press her lips to his ear.

"Okay. Now turn over."

He didn't know if he had the energy, but he sure had
the will. Face up now, hands behind his neck again,
he closed his eyes as she kissed his forearms, his
elbows, his chest, his stomach, his abdomen, his
thighs, his shins, his feet. He frowned as it dawned
on him that a very important member hadn't been
touched yet and just as he was about to say something,
her right hand began stroking him vigorously.

He squealed in surprise and laughed at the sound he
made as his hips thrust upward impatiently. Her left
hand slid back around to his ass and slipped easily
inside.

He opened his mouth only to have her tongue fill it as
she simultaneously guided his penis to her vagina,
already wet and waiting. Her fingers thrusting in his
anus and the warmth of her vagina around him was too
much. He couldn't contain himself any longer.

He took her by her waist, thrusting his hips up as she
pushed down. She rode him hard, crooked her fingers
against his prostate more vigorously and he arched,
almost jackknifed, screaming hoarsely as he came.

He took his thumb and sought blindly for her clit,
rubbing it hard until she screamed, overtaken by her
own orgasm.

A warm silence engulfed them, broken only by the sound
of their breathing or an occasional chuckle from one
that would then set off a round of chuckling in the
other.

"Whew. Birthday surprise number four almost did me
in," he laughed, cradling her in his arms.

"You mean you don't want to have a birthday every
day?"

"Greedy as I am, I must confess: once a year is all I
can take of this."

Well, that's good. Because once a year is about it
for me too."

They lay in the darkness for several minutes, just
holding each other. His senses were full of her: the
smell of her scent, the feel of her skin, the taste of
her mouth, the look of contentment on her face, the
sound of love in her voice. He felt warm and safe and
happy.

"I love you, Sharon," he said, kissing her cheek and
nuzzling against her neck. "Thank you for my
wonderful birthday surprises."

She kissed him back and pressed her check against his
head.

"Many happy returns of the day," she laughed. "Many
happy returns of the day."

End

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