The Charlie Sheen nightmare continues; time for CBS to cut the cord

Self-control has never been Charlie Sheen’s strong suit. Drugs? Booze? Strippers? The wayward TV star can’t seem to get enough. And considering his recent string of crazed rants and bizarre interviews, it’s clear that he absolutely has no sense of when to shut up.

His hate-spewing gutter mouth is what finally got production halted for the season on “Two and Half Men,” prime time’s most popular sitcom. Last week, CBS and Warner Bros. Television said in a joint statement that their decision to pull the plug was based on the “totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition.”

As of this writing, the network and production company had not addressed the future of the show, though it’s difficult to imagine it returning next season with Sheen as its focal point. Yes, “Two and a Half Men” generates gobs of revenue, and, yes, TV’s highest-paid star is still under contract for $1.2 million per episode, but isn’t it time to cut the cord?

Sheen inflamed what was already a tense work environment when he blasted “Two and a Half Men” executive producer Chuck Lorre, during a call-in to a syndicated radio show and an “open letter” to TMZ. There’s no need to rehash the “totality” of his verbal diarrhea, but it’s safe to say that you and I could not get away with publicly calling our boss a “contaminated little maggot” while wishing upon them “nothing but pain.”

So what to do you do with a disgruntled, egomaniacal — and clearly troubled — star who has become a giant pain in the rump? If television was like sports, you could simply make a trade and let another franchise deal with him. But don’t look for Sheen to pop up on “30 Rock” any time soon.

The obvious alternative: Pay off Sheen and cut your losses. CBS could conceivably continue “Two and a Half Men,” shifting more of the focus to Emmy-winner Jon Cryer, or even bringing in another actor (One rumor has it that John Stamos is being considered). But such TV Band-Aids rarely stick and with the show having already aired for eight seasons, is it even worth the hassle?

From a creative standpoint, it’s the perfect time to throw in the towel. “Two and a Half Men,” despite its lofty ratings, was never a great show. It rose to prominence at a time when solid sitcoms were scarce, getting by on formulaic one-note humor and Sheen’s charm.

But now the jokes are old and Sheen’s character, like the man who plays him, has become one bad rerun. These days, much better sitcom alternatives are sprinkled throughout broadcast television.

It’s also seems to be a good time for CBS and Lorre to move on. The network has a surplus of highly-rated shows, dominating the Nielsen Top 20 on a weekly basis. Lorre is on a roll with two other hit sitcoms in “The Big Bang Theory” and “Mike & Molly.” He should have little trouble getting the green light for future projects. Meanwhile, the cash from syndicated reruns of “Two and a Half Men” will flow for years.

So CBS and Lorre don’t exactly need Sheen, and Sheen apparently thinks he doesn’t need them, despite his status as a public-relations disaster. Amid his verbal discharge was a bold assertion that he will go off to “make movies with superstars and not work with idiots.”

Um, good luck with that, Charlie. We’re all holding our breath for “Major League 3.”