Here be reviews from the first half of the week.

Wednesday really should be in here too, but it was too amazing to wrap my head around in 24 hours, and now I have a Lit paper that needs writing. [Edit: After careful reflection, I have dubbed it Paper of Incomprensible Crap, because that's what came out even though the topic - how does literature create or contest a "national" identity? - should have been rather easy]

Also, LJ, it would be REALLY FANTASTIC if I could start getting e-mail alerts, please? It's driving me crazy that I get notifications when people leave comments on here, but not when they reply to my comments on theirs. Don't make me divert them to my school e-mail. The whole point of keeping LJ and school separate is so that when I'm avoiding scary school-related letters, I can always remain blissfully unaware in my fandom accout.

'CSI: Miami - "Sunblock"Wait, wait, I've seen this episode before! There's something vaguely familiar about its premise - haunting stuff going on in autopsy, Ryan and Alexx dealing with dangerous effects of something that seems paranormal and possibly connected to voodoo-type magic but is actually just a peculiar toxin, Eric going out to a spooky place at night, and...OH NO WAIT, THAT WAS LAST YEAR. Geeze.

Unfortunately, "Curse of the Coffin" was not only one of season 5's better episodes, it was considerably better than this year's Halloween-themed offering. I mean, Alexx was kind of cute with the mojo talk - emphasis on KIND OF, as my initial impression was a lot like Jake's - but the cases were weak. Or maybe they just seemed weak because a) Natalia is the most gullible and overdramatic person in the world and b) they tried entirely too hard to emphasize that this was supposed to be a freaky Halloween episode (NON-HUMAN DNA! REVENGE OF THE MOJO! EEK A SCARY WEREWOLF!). At least the goat head last year was legitimately disturbing. Most of the stuff here was just stupid.

The count of Unwelcome Portrayals of Myself On TV this season is now up to 3, thanks to the woman who lived her life on the computer. "See how deep the wear pattern is? She spent a lot of time in this chair." After this episode aired, I went walking around campus for like 2 hours in paranoid fear that I was even weirder than I thought I was. However, the fact that I actually get up to, you know, ANSWER THE DOOR automatically makes me a little better. I hope.

On the other hand, I used to live in a blissfully happy world where "couch potato" applied only to lazy people who watched TV for hours without point or purpose, and since I was exercising my brain on the internet, my similarly sedentary time didn't count. BUT NOW THERE'S A PHRASE AND IT'S EQUALLY HORRIBLE. *scrubs brain to forget "mouse potato" exists*

I'm still not sure why the murderer didn't finish killing Wolf Man, seeing as the latter's "protection" was tied up on what looked like a pretty short chain. It couldn't have been that hard to drag him out of reach and then snicker while the wolf snarled itself into a frothing but useless rage.

Loved Ryan's little-kid giddiness over being reinstated (even though I was enjoying the Knave of All Trades), but not as much as I loved his total panic voice upon finding Alexx unconscious and unresponsive.

Poor Noble Eric. "If it were me, I would have transferred to night shift." *hugs* Now please let that be the last of his "just so you know, I still care" comments before he turns into Dr. Chase.

As for Calleigh/Jake, I spent most of the episode twitching my lip at the latter, but then there were smiles and the most adorable of handholds, and I had to rephrase my mutterings to "STOP KILLING ME WITH YOUR CAKEY CUTENESS! ...and the wink undid me." Argh. I understand how Calleigh keeps getting sucked back in, because it's happening to me too, even though we both know it's bad for us and cannot possibly end well. Poor girl, her unintentionally self-destructive streak continues.

Ending scene with Ryan/Horatio was weird. I'm not really sure what Horatio was going on about; it was a jumble of words that didn't really make sense once repeated at a normal rate of speaking. It reminded me a lot of a student writing a conclusion for a paper. (Or at least the way I write papers, with the nonsense BSing in hopes that it sounds authoritative and clever.) What's this "it's in your blood" stuff? Ryan doesn't seem like the type to have followed a parent into law enforcement; I assumed he was ambitious enough to have struck out on his own. Most irritating of all was not even the fact that Horatio kept his back turned on Ryan the whole time, but that he had his chin tilted up like he was trying to halt a nosebleed. It's been a while since I've felt such a strong urge to beat him with a 2x4 back to season 2.

I was not overly fond of the song, either (although for future reference, since I might randomly change my mind months later, it was "Gravity" by You Are I Am). And I'm getting really sick of Miami ending on 3-minute musical montages. You know that's why I always turn off Cold Case before it's over, right?

Notes from the Fashion Show: -Eric! Gray suit! LOVE the gray suit. So much nicer that those obnoxiously loud shirts you usually sport. -Horatio was again in all black, but I'll let him pretend it was all about the Halloween spirit. -Calleigh was sporting a rather sharp black ensemble too; loved the V-neck. Heels were a little stiletto-ish for work, though. -Samantha the Tech had a really fantastic white blouse with a green ivy pattern across the arms and one side of the front. I want this blouse. Now. And I HATE shirts with buttons, so that's saying something.

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'Bones: The Mummy in the MazeThere, see, now THAT'S the way to pull off an awesome Bones episode. Mummies! Always! I love mummy corpses. Other than skeletons (which the title of the show implies is all we should ever see, and yet they're becoming a downright rarity), they're the only bodies that aren't nauseating to look at, and are much more interesting than, say, gunshout wound victims. I have a downright fascination with them.

The "House of 1000 Corpses" did a pretty sufficient job of frightening me from the other side of the screen - there's no way I would ever go near one of those in real life. (I convinced my mom to take me to into a haunted house at an amusement park when I was about 10...it was traumatizing) Especially if they are populated by KILLER CLOWNS. I wanted to laugh at the way Booth yelped when it moved, but it was hard to do so from where I was quivering beneath my desk chair. Still, loved the storyline, and the search for the missing girls (maybe that was the winning formula; young women/teenage girls make the best victims. Um, I mean in terms of how much I care about what happened to them), and every single second of Clark Kent & Wonder Woman to the rescue. Well, eventually to the rescue, in a roundabout and fumbling way. "Stop shooting things!" It's always amusing when Bones is in possession of a firearm and eager to use it.

The costumes were stupid, as they only perpetuated the stupid belief of young women that Halloween is about showing as much skin as possible, which irritates the hell out of me. I didn't even know who Angela was supposed to be until Cam called her "Cher," and was under the impression that she was going for some kind of Egyptian or possibly Amazonian princess. And as for Bones, I really cannot believe that it is appropriate to wear a leotard to any kind of work-related event, even a Halloween party. I kept wincing and waiting for it to ride up in back.

Zack's costume was okay, if nothing special, but it's a dead tie between Booth & Hodgins for the best one. On the one hand, I couldn't stop laughing when the former was hunched over his giant calculator and speaking in Nerd Voice, but on the other...Jack looked incredibly in character. And extremely attractive, for some reason.

I wasn't all that invested in Jack & Angela's storyline this week (except I wouldn't trust that P.I.; she just came out of House's hospital last week!), other than being irritated by the way she claimed that "most people go back to their spouses." Not because I don't believe it, but because really, were most of their clients' marriages so brief and spontaneous that the people hiring the investigator DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THEIR NAME OR WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE? There's really nothing for Angela to go back to. If she were going to leave Jack, her "husband" isn't all that much more convincing than a random guy on the street.--------------

'House: Mirror, MirrorLoved Wilson's glee over being in charge of this relationship. Because he obviously is. House simply couldn't function the same way without regular applications of psychoanalysis and platitude dosage.

Question: Wasn't Cuddy doing fertility treatments a while back? Why is she on birth control pills?

I'm finding I really don't miss the Ducklings at all, although I think if I had to choose one to get more screentime it would be Chase, not Foreman. More Foreman is never a good thing.

As for the New Ducklings, I find myself split down the middle on them. CB needs to go, Weird Plastic Surgeon needs to follow her, and I am VERY ANNOYED that Kumar Kutner didn't electrocute himself to death like he so obviously should have. However, Cole is awesome, as is Thirteen, and aside from the fact that his name is Brennan (really, House writers? You couldn't think of a more original name? One that wasn't in use on the show immediately preceding yours on the same network?), I like the Doctors Without Borders guy a great deal. Possibly even more than the other two. I'm not sure why, I just do.

And yes, I can see that I've kind of subconsciously recreated the original Duckling trio. SHUT UP.

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'NCIS: ChimeraIt's like there's a law that says if it's episode #100, it has to be dull. The whole time I was watching this, I just kept thinking about how much I'd rather be watching Ghost Ship. Literally, these were the only thoughts that came to mind:

Ah, Tony and the incredibly immature wrapper-shooting with a straw...if I didn't know better, I'd say this was an attempt to head off Ziva's weekly "I thought you were mature and grown up now" lecture.

ENTIRELY too much focus on McGee's seasickness and its unpleasant effects.

The dead rat with blood dripping out of its mouth has to be one of the grossest props ever.

Loved McGee glibly pointing out that Tony was a lot more stoic the last time he was dying of a deadly disease...but further loved how the tone suddenly got a lot more serious as Tony angrily reminded him about his car being blown up (but again - didn't you almost fall to your death last week? WHY DID NO ONE PAY ATTENTION TO THE SERIOUSNESS OF THAT EVENT?).

Jen was in top form, snapping orders and fending off the sleazy Navy officers come-ons, although lately it seems like there's something not quite right about her hair. Anything and everything is better than the horrible hedgehog spikes and other short horrors, but right now it looks rather poofy and frizzed out.

Got chills wiith the ship being detonated regardless of whether or not the NCIS team had gotten off of it...that was quite the sobering end.