6 New Hobbies For Tanning Mom Now That She Has (GASP!) Stopped Tanning

Some very important news in the world of tan-ness: Patricia Krentcil, better known as Tanning Mom, has announced that she will STOP tanning. In an exclusive interview with In Touch, Tanning Mom said that she wants the chance to “rehabilitate her image by staying out of the sun (real and artificial) for an entire month.” While Tanning Mom acknowledges that “nothing is forever,” she knows that she is “sick of talking about tanning.” NOOO! I mean, I’m happy for her potentially pre-cancerous skin, but I want her to keep talking about tanning. I was just starting to understand her and now she’s gone. Sadz. I think she’ll need a hobby while she’s on her tanning hiatus. Something to keep her busy (and me occupied). Some ideas for Tanning Mom after the jump.

1. Writing Erotic Literature. I would read Fifty Shades of Tan, a book about a dom/sub tan couple.

2. Body Modification. So, she can’t tan, but she can pierce and modify to her heart’s desire. I would like to see her get some face horns like Lady Gaga. We could call her Bod Mod Mom.

3. Graffiti Artist. I wouldn’t mind seeing her tag all around Long Island.

4. Clowning. Instead of face paint, she could use bronzer. And she could keep wearing her signature bows!

5. Hot Dog Truck. Watch out Hot Dog Hooker, Hot Dog Mom is parking her truck down the street. Instead of offering lap dances with her hot dogs, she will offer spray tans.

6. Leather Working. The way I see it, she’s already familiar with the consistency.