I have a few questions for any of the vampires/ demi- gods/ otherly explained immortal beings out there:

- Where do you get your money from? Do you have jobs for the entirety of your never ending life? And if so, where do you find the people who can supply you with the false documents needed to get a job that won’t tip anyone off to the fact that you’re 120 years old? Hell, I’m not even able to find a way to illegally watch Utopia (British, not Fox version), but you’ve found people to get you a fake birth certificate.

- You could tell me with the utmost certainty where to get the best pizza in your city, couldn’t you?

- Why, in god’s name, with the millions of groundbreaking, earth shattering discoveries that you could both personally make and allow science to make by informing them of your existence, would you spend decades preoccupied with tapping that ass?

And I get it. I’d be interested in tapping Daario Naharis- ass too. But maybe audit a few classes at NYU while you’re at it?

Emily Chambers is a Staff Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow her retweeting other people on Twitter.