Happy Saint Patrick's Day all you wannabe's. There are two types of people, you know, those who are Irish and those who wish they were. As one of the former, I hope the rest of you enjoy the attempt to be Irish today. Try not to do anything you'll pay too high a price for tomorrow, okay? Us? We'll watch The Quiet Man and then Darby O' Gill and the Little People.

So what's with the changes title? Well, I'm re-launching Keyboard Therapy. I must bitch or I will blow up and I will do my bitching about National Affairs on that blog. I plan on bringing back the SOB of the Week there too. You know you've missed it.

I am also thinking of moving all my blasted blogs to WordPress. If any of my six readers have opinions on that, please share.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

So tomorrow night is the big date. Honestly, it is the most dressed up I have ever been at a social event with my husband unless you count the time we were in my sister's wedding. Even then, I spent more on this outfit than that one so this is kind of a big deal. Another piece of supporting evidence is that he will be wearing his blues which, in my opinion, are more formal than a tuxedo. They just make such a statement!

While preparing for this little soiree, I learned some valuable lessons that I am happy to pass along.

1. Ordering formal wear online is probably not the best idea. I had near panic when the skirt arrived two sizes too small. When I ordered an alternate, I ordered two different sizes just in case and - Surprise! - the one that fit is the same damn size as the first one that didn't fit.

2. E.L.F. cosmetics are not all they're cracked up to be. Sure, nearly everything is a dollar so you can try a lot of stuff for cheap, but the coverage is not great, the brushes are scratchy and the eyeliner is completely unacceptable. They felt literally like trying to draw liner on with an actual pencil. Of course, my normal brand is Clinique's kohl pencil or some such so that's a high standard to meet. I did learn a little about blending from the ELF guidelines. I guess my suggestion is that if you want new colors, try them with ELF and then, if you like the colors, buy them from a higher quality supplier.

3. If you are a woman and you read my blog, please take this advice: Go to the Clinique counter and buy yourself some Black Honey lipstick. It is the most beautiful color ever. On second thought, the way that's listed makes it look like it's going away. You just better wait until I've ordered a lifetime supply. I know it looks dark, but it is gorgeous. You're welcome.

Saturday I will update you on the date. Now I need to find a place for a manicure.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I believe that the Nintendo Wii is the key to world peace. Here's why:

1. You can play a Wii almost instantly upon connecting it to your TV. No pretenses, no posturing or positioning; just plug in the thing, put the sports game in and play.

2. Wii sports remind you about the things that make good sportsmanship fun. You know - playing nice? Playing nice, as it turns out, is good. Who knew? Maybe we should teach a few people.

3. It's just damn good clean fun. A ten year-old, a 20 year old, a 25 year old (me) and a 43 year old can gather in the living room for a nice game of Wii whatever and everyone enjoys themselves. It also turns out that after having fun for a couple of hours you can't be pissed off at the other people in the room. Perhaps that would enable some constructive conversation if, say, the leaders of Iran, Iraq, Israel, the U.S. (but I think maybe Barack would pwn at Wii - just sayin'), Russia and China gathered for some Super Smash Brothers Brawl and vented all their frustration. If all else fails, give them the carnival games. Trust me. It is worth a try.

In brief: The Nintendo Wii could be the solution to world peace because you cannot play Wii and still be a prick. Tell it to the U.N.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

More great news on the mortgage front today. Lovely how just when you think things can't get worse. The house has been on the market for 369 days and counting and interest from buyers is zero. Nice? I think so.

Got a new hair cut today. Probably was a bad plan. I'm not in love with it by any means but hopefully it will grow on me (pun intended). I wanted different and different it is.

I'm in a funk. Forty is looming very, very large. I feel old, fat, frumpy and an overwhelming sense of futility. I am not liking the current situation nor am I liking the prospects for the future. The job market in EP looks pretty shitty and I've still not broken the news to my boss. And I don't feel like blogging anymore. I don't feel like I'm being interesting so I'll stop. Go back to the meme and play along.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

See? I bet you thought this would be a cute Khan story. Sorry about that. But when there are six of them it is even fun to get to hang with the big kids one-on-one once in a while. Last night Ogre and I took in our our first ever live NBA game when the Bucks hosted his beloved Spurs at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee. It was fun but the energy level was not what I had expected. It was very surreal to have the visiting team's fans make more noise than the home team's fans. We did fall into the former category though so it was more funny than sad. The Bucks did play very well but lost in a nail-biter 96-94. I have a newfound respect for them as a team but I kind of have to agree with The Sports Guy. Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut looked really good.

I have now seen a professional football, baseball, basketball and racing event. What's next?

Oh and uh... This guy?

Needs to work on his damn free throws. I mean, he had a great game - 26points - but he missed probably eight free throw tries.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

I hope you can read the flyer on this lovely box of donuts delivered to me this morning by my friend the South Beach Saboteur. This flyer is for a local franchise of a women's fitness facility. You know, because if you buy donuts you must need that. I wonder if the store manager will ever figure out what a colossal co-op marketing failure this is? I know him so I somehow doubt it.