Nothing good ever happens till after 9am

Schools are closed for Rosh Hashanah today.It was wonderful to sleep past 6am.Ugh – why does high school start at 7a? In Maryland, it’s because the fast food lobby has a lock on politicians.But I digress from my rambling.

Truly, the fact that there are two 6-es in a day is disgusting.It takes two cups of coffee and 8am before both my eyes point in the same direction.I endanger the general population by driving my son to school every morning at 7a.He endangers the school population by his crabby, knuckle-dragging a.m. attitude.We are a pair of charmers.

Mr. Wonderful always wakes up bright eyed and cheerful.It’s revolting.I avoid him as much as possible.Still, he always makes breakfast while I linger in bed (“don’t touch the tiger” he says) and after 27 years together, he doesn’t talk to me till after the first cup of coffee.

Mr. W turns 50 this September.He handed me a list of 70 people and said, “I want a birthday party”.For a brief moment, I thought my hair might fall out.Then I realized that after the craptastic summer we had around here, a party would be a nice way to shake off the blues.

“Fine,” I told him, “but 70 is shrinking to 40 and I’m having it catered.”

It will be an excuse for the Geriatrix (his band) to play.Some.No way does he get to sit behind a drum set all evening with that much company milling around, even if it is his special day.

I don’t want to fight about it, so I ordered ribs and buffalo wings.That will get him to the buffet table.After that, I’ll zap him with wife-y eyebrows, meaningful glare and maybe the irritated head nod.Translation – go talk to all your guests before I let you eat cake.

I sure hope NEWS doesn’t happen – CNN types will be here and it would be nice if the evening could be a Blackberry/cell phone free zone.

It will be good to have family and friends around, laughing.After the summer of drought, it will be sure to rain as soon as I get the yard set up.Some kid will flush his socks down the toilet and I’ll have houseguests all weekend.Oy – this party is about as smart as me at 6am.