Number: 10
Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."Caddy: "Think
you can keep your head down that long?"

Number: 9Golfer: "I'd
move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."Caddy: "Try
heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

Number: 8Golfer: "Do
you think my game is improving?"Caddy: "Yes.
You miss the ball much closer now."

Number: 7Golfer: "Do
you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"Caddy:
"Eventually."

Number: 6Golfer:
"You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."Caddy: "I
don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence."

Number: 5Golfer:
"Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a
distraction."Caddy: "It's
not a watch. It's a compass."

Number: 4Golfer: "How
do you like my game?"
Caddy: "It's very good, but personally, I prefer golf."

Number : 3Golfer: "Do
you think it's a sin to playon
Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."

Number: 2Golfer: "This
is the worst course I've ever played on."Caddy: "This
isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

And the Number: 1 ... Best Caddy Comment:Golfer: "That
can't be my ball, it's too old."Caddy: "It's
been a long time since we teed off, sir."

TALK ABOUT A BAD LIE!

During his physical,
the doctor asked the
patient
about his daily
activity level.

He
described
a
typical
day
this
way:

“Well,
yesterday
afternoon,
I
waded
along
the
edge
of a
lake,
drank
eight
beers,
escaped
from
wild
dogs
in
the
heavy
brush,
jumped
away
from
an
aggressive
rattlesnake,marched
up
and
down
several
rocky
hills,

stood
in a
patch
of
poison
ivy,
crawled
out
of
quicksand

and
took
four
leaks
behind
big
trees.”

Inspired
by
the
story,
the
doctor
said,“You
must
be
one
hell
of
an
outdoors
man!”