I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Here is my facebook roundup of posts about being a CPS or recovery:I, personally, need medication, but the way medications are priced and pushed is ridiculous. My medication should not be $400 WITH insurance. There is stigma if you're on medication and if you're not-I think we should just let people make their own decisions about what's best for them. AND medication is not a cure. Mental illnesses are not just a brain disorder to be treated with medication, they are trauma, bad habits, coping mechanisms that need more than just medicine to truly be well. When I would do the presentations to the inpatients at Emory, I was really bothered by how many patients thought all they needed to do was take their medication and they'd be well because they have an illness like any other. It's not true. Meds may help but they don't cure mental illness. A person has to put in real consistent dedicated personal work in order to be and stay well. It sucks but it's the truth. There's no shortcut.

I don't like the word needy, as I was very needy for a long time. One of the reasons why I attended so many support groups for so long. Once I finally started feeling more validated and secure, I stopped acting so "needy" and I eventually learned how to ask without being annoying.

In response to the article, #SayTheWord, Not "Special Needs"My disability wouldn't let me work like everybody else but that was the system's fault, not mine. I feel so fortunate to work somewhere that is supportful enough that I am able to work full-time. Even when I am at a grocery store and have to have help with so many things it's not because my height and strength are bad-it's that the system that favors tall height and more muscle power is not set up for equal access.

I see progress every day in my line of work as a CPS. (Certified peer support). The media just doesn't want to report it because it would give people hope and empower them to destroy the old system. Look for the good and destroy it anyway.Look for the good. Be the good. Spread the good. Bring down the old system, be part of something better. Question everything, pursue knowledge and love, read as much as you can.

I made these pictures on an app called Whisper. It's going to change this blog. (It's very addicting!)

Sunday, February 14, 2016

"In fact, worry is a sign that you are trying to impose your will on the world, to oppose fate. That is a fruitless expenditure of energy. It is to turn your back on freedom. It is to never quite live. Instead, trust providence, reach for the divine." (Mark Vernon, Plato's Podcasts: The Ancients' Guide to Modern Living)

February is eating disorders awareness month, so I have been posting more body positive posts on Facebook than usual. Here are my highlights.

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Funny how most people don't consider eating disorders a mental illness or a feminist issue. Most people don't even believe me when I say that eating disorders are the mental illness with the highest mortality rate. But we all know that if a phenomena is mainly experienced by women then it's not considered important.

One of the most important factors in my eating disorder recovery was to immerse myself in the fat acceptance culture until I no longer viewed fat as the enemy.

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Underneath a fairly good article about Health At Every Size, someone asked a question and I responded:

Question: At the moment, I'm counting calories and closely monitoring my macronutrient levels daily, but I'm afraid once I reach my goal, I might overeat again, even with healthy snacks. It raises my anxiety, but I don't want to count calories forever! I'm fairly good at determining portion control, but this is my second weight loss journey... and I don't wanna anticipate a third! Any advice?

@Commenter Yes! See a nutritionist who specializes in eating disorders. Most of them are actually advocates of HAES and will teach you how to eat mindfully and intuitively. It's a journey worth taking. It will not be quick and your goal will be to reach your body's own natural weight instead of something off a chart. Each body is unique and has its own natural rthymn and set weight that can be found when one learns how to listen to their body. Once you learn how to do this, you will never have to count calories again or feel restricted because you will be in tune with yourself, instead of fighting or trying to control yourself. Shoot for freedom, not society's flawed image. I am in recovery from an eating disorder and despite my slightly larger size I will never diet again. I am healthy, my weight is stable and I experience freedom.

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I am more than beautiful. If you have a daughter don't tell her she's pretty. Society tells us our worth is in our appearance - she needs to know better.

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I don't believe things can be fixed, as in, returned to way they were before, but I do think they can be transformed. I don't know the word for it, but it seems life afterwards has a persistent joypain - joy at the new life, pain at what was lost and both are always present and must be appreciated And acknowledged.

About Me

I'm a fierce smashing-the-patriarchy Christian feminist spreading the word that hope is real for people with mental health and chronic pain challenges. I do NAMI In Our Own Voice presentations, endorse Dialectical Behavioral Therapy(DBT) and baking cupcakes. I am in recovery from borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and bipolar II. I work on managing my anxiety. I consider myself living in recovery, because mental illness and chronic pain no longer control my life.
If you would like me to speak to your organization about living in recovery from mental illness, please email me.