A Frat Party Is:; a) Milk and Cookies; b) Beer Pong

Published: November 7, 1999

Correction Appended

(Page 5 of 5)

The night after the Alpha Chi keg party, Phi Tau held its first mixer of the fall term -- called, no irony intended, a ''Milque and Cookies'' party. The only refreshments served were, in fact, cookies and gallons of milkshakes.

''Welcome, welcome,'' said Christine Chung, a senior psychology major from Honolulu, to a group of students who wandered into the doorway of Phi Tau, looking confused. ''This way to the milk and cookies.''

Ms. Chung showed them to Josh Breedlove, a house member dressed in American Indian garb (he is half Choctaw) who was passing out Pecan Sandies and chocolate squares on a platter.

The fraternity, with 25 members and a rough balance between men and women, does not prohibit alcohol, but the members do not buy it for parties. Some members say they drink occasionally. Others say they abhor the thought of it and joined to be part of a house in which they never felt pressured to drink.

The members are proud -- almost piously so -- of their house. And they do not bother to hide their disdain for traditional fraternities. ''I don't like random drunk people,'' said Ms. Chung. (The feeling is mutual. At the Alpha Chi party, a member warned: ''If you're going to the milk and cookies party, be careful, man. Somebody might try to get you into a game of Dungeons and Dragons.'')

Upstairs, in the tattered halls of Phi Tau's house, are pictures of the fraternity's racially diverse alumni. The current members can remember only one student who ever rushed the fraternity being turned down -- and that was because everyone was scared of him.

There are common bathrooms, with stalls, not urinals. Men room with men and women with women, and while relationships do flower, sex in the house is frowned upon, said Virginia DeJesus-Rueff, the president. ''Of course, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen,'' she said. ''But you'd be surprised how much everybody gets along around here.''

She added, ''I don't quite understand why people think of a coed house as so revolutionary.''

Downstairs, instead of a beer basement and mung, there is a neatly kept game room with a pool table and a soda fountain. And next door is a video room decorated with ''Star Trek'' posters and a no-smoking sign, where the fraternity holds its ''Friday Night Flix'' parties. (Phi Tau's Web site describes them as ''great company and a truly unique selection of movies -- anything from 'The Princess Bride' to 'The Silence of the Lambs.' '')

The night before, the Alpha Chi party had lurched on until 3 a.m. The Phi Tau party ran out of energy and guests by about 11:30 p.m. As the party wound down, the members piled onto couches in the video room, every one of them sober and sated with cookies. They considered the night a great success. But they were the first to admit that their brand of fun might not be for everyone -- and that imposing Phi Tau's on the rest of campus was not the answer, either.

''A lot of people,'' said David Black-Schaffer, an engineering major, ''think that we're very weird and nerdy.

''I'm no expert in the psychology of the college student,'' he added. ''The one thing I do know is that doing away with fraternities is not going to fix the problems.''

Photos: Dry Run -- Phi Tau, a coed Greed house at Dartmouth, serves milkshakes and Pecan Sandies at party time. ''I don't like random drunk people,'' says one member. (Jared Leeds for The New York Times)(pg. 28); Kersplash -- At Alpha Chi Alpha, were traditions die hard, brothers lob Ping-Pong balls at cups of beer. The ball lands, the opponents drinks everybody's happy. (Amy Thompson for The New York Times)(pg. 29); Administrators have long cringed over Dartmouth's association with ''Animal House,'' above, the 1978 film that was partly based on the excesses of one of the college's frats. (Photofest); A member of Phi Delta Alpha, above, removes some post-party debris. (Jared Leeds for The New York Times); Students gather, below, at a Psi Upsilon rally in support of the Greek way of life. (Paul O. Boisvert for The New York Times)(pg. 30); ''Social events'' must be registered, kegs tagged and ID's checked before party time. Regulation 3.2.7: nonsalty foods must be available at all times, to soak up beer. (Amy Thompson for The New York Times)(pg. 31)

Correction: November 9, 1999, Tuesday An article in the special Education Life section on Sunday about changes in fraternity culture misidentified the Ivy League college that was the last to go coeducational. It was Columbia, in 1983, not Dartmouth.