Friday, April 26, 2013

No! No! Don’t do that!

There
are times in our lives when events conspire to make us stop and thump our heads
against our desks in astonishment. People (not you savvy “Invisible Primary”
blog readers, of course, but some people) make incautious errors, some people are
socially tone deaf, and then there are those who are straight-up dum-dum, ass-hat
nincompoops. According to no less a scholar than Big Bird, everyone makes
mistakes: Your sister and your brother and your dad and mother too. Yes, everybody
screws up… but mistakes are enormously fun to watch in the political realm.

Politics
is a fecund field for the accident-prone, if only because of the spotlights and
cameras that shine upon those who crave elected office. This means that a verbal
slip-up or a miscalculation has the propensity for wide coverage. This is the
force of the modern media, and it is the gift that brings us to today’s IP
Media coverage: The unforced error. Several things hit my IP radar this week
which made me bonk my head against my desk and yell “No! NO! Don’t do that!” to
my computer screen. And so what I expect to be a long-running series, the first
installment of what I will call “No! NO! Don’t do that!” (NNDDT! for short)

Our
first NNDDT! Award goes to… former First Lady Barbara Bush.

I
am not picking on Babs herself (she looks terrific, by the way) so don’t jump
on me for carping on a civilian. Instead, I am giving the NNDDT! award for her comments about her son Jeb’s possible presidential run (See, Dave, I got there!
Sometimes it just takes me a chatty while, as you well know). When asked by The Today Show’s Matt Lauer if she would
like to see Jeb run, Barbara responded: “He's by far the
best qualified man, but no. I really don't. I think it's a great country. There
are a lot of great families. It's not just four families or whatever. There are
other people out there that are very qualified. We have had enough Bushes.” I
totally get that she’s a mom and she’s talking about another son going for
another grueling campaign season and I appreciate her candor and her moxie and all
that jazz… but the magic of editing just opened the door to every. single. oppo
ad of 2016 featuring the quote: “There are other people out there that are very
qualified. We have had enough Bushes.”

Mrs. Bush: NNDDT!

Or at least send Jebby a fruit basket
with an apology note.

Moving right along, the second NNDDT! Award
goes to… Sen. Rand Paul for taking the horrific Boston bombing and using it to
throw a torx wrench into the nascent debate on immigration. The so-called “Gang
of Eight,” which included IP fave Marco Rubio, had just unwrapped their immigration
proposal when Sen. Paul sent a public letter to the media to Senate Majority
Leader Harry Reid urging: “We should not proceed until we
understand the specific failures of our immigration system.” Good gravy. It makes me want to scream at my colleagues like a zealot.
No wait – that was the two Chucks (Schumer and Grassley) over the head of poor Pat Leahy. Never mind. Anyway, it’s silly and you’re doing this to get
attention and being obstructionist is no way to position yourself as a potential
Free World Leader, so NNDDT!

The next NNDDT! Award goes to… my man,
former NY Congressman Anthony Weiner. Who went back on Twitter. And says there might be more saucy pictures of him out there. And he’s back on Twitter – I think
this bears repeating. I suppose he
might be trying to do it and get it out of the way, but this is no way to mount
a comeback. Ha! OK, not enough? How’s this, from Stephen Colbert: “Weiner is
ready to stick it back in. And that takes balls.” Better? Anyway, Weiner is going
to face some stiff competition. And I suspect he’s going down. OK, I’m done
now. But all of that said, he’s BACK ON TWITTER! Tweeting is not a necessity,
by any means, not even a must for public office. And for Weiner, who had to
resign from office BECAUSE OF TWITTER I suspect it is fraught with possible
problems. I just cannot figure out what the heck he is doing, besides launching
an effort to swell his support by intensifying and surging his popularity. OK,
NOW I’m done. Is it hot in here?

Anywho: Anthony Weiner, put down the
phone and as for Twitter…NNDDT!

The last NNDDT! Award goes to… former S.C.
Gov. Mark Sanford who, after last week’s revelation that he broke into his ex-wife’s house, did the
next most unconscionable thing: He took out an ad in the Charleston Post & Courier newspaper which began
with the words: “It’s been a rough week.” Yes, Governor. It has. For the people
for Boston and the people of Texas who had to suffer through real tragedy. And
now you have just reminded people that you broke
into your ex-wife’s house. Remember her? The one you cheated on with your current fiancé? Tone deaf. Senseless. Bonk,
bonk, bonk. My head hurts too much to even tell you not to do that. Just please
go away.

So those are the first of the NNDDT Awards.
I suspect more will be on the way as our IP candidates hog the spotlight and
step on their own… toes. Nominations will be accepted at this blog on a rolling
basis. First come, first served.