I'm a woman who has schizophrenia. In this blog I discuss my struggles with my job and finishing my B.A. in Creative Writing. I work for a mental health consumer-driven, consumer run self-help organization.

August 04, 2005

Strange Encounter

I had a strange blind date a couple of weeks ago. I wrote a poem about the guy. Because of this I will no longer post online ads.

I am posting a poem at the end of this entry about that meeting.

I have decided to use my savings to survive on instead of buying a car just now. They cut my benefits; but I think I can have them reinstated when I see a new Dr. soon.

Seeing a new Gyno has been kind of slow going. I am waiting on a referral to a Dr. who accepts my Medi-Cal. The pain persists and I will most likely need a hysterectomy. I think for that reason I shouldn't work just now; but I will probably still go on my interview on the 15th.

I took a friend by bus to downtown today because her car broke down and she had to turn in some MIS forms. It took us three hours including a quick break so that I could eat lunch. She didn't know how to take busses.

I applied for student aid and found out that I am supposed to contibute $6,000 toward my ed. I hope that includes my housing. I will find out soon how much each school would be willing to finance me.

If I go to Thomas Edison I only have to take 14 more units to complete a degree in Liberal Studies. If I go to Cal State Northridge then I have to complete maybe 30 units. So it is pretty clear cut to me that TESC is the way to go.

I think that tomorrow my friend and I are going to L.A. to go to a store where you can load your mP3 player. I think that that should be fun.

Tomorrow night I am going to my other friend's Schizophrenics
Anonymous meeting in Hollywood.
I hope it is good. Last night I went to a Bipolar meeting. It was good. One consumer was in a deep depression caused by Abilfy. She was thrown into mania and then went into a rapid spiral downward. She is upset because no one told her that it could cause that.
While she was on Abilify she started eating compulsively due to increased hunger with Abilify and she gained back all this weight she had lost over a year or two of exercise and healthy eating.

Did I mention before how I thought that we should have a plastic colored arm band to sell to raise funds for mental illness? What a great way for people to show that they are evolved and are accepting of the mentally ill population.

I found out that the housing I was kind of counting on is only supposed to house seven people. It is seven one bedroom apts. and I don't know what my chances are of getting in there are.

Don't forget to read the poem.

I had to walk past a homeless woman
scattered on the lawn
looked half-dead
just to meet you at 9:00
blind date doughnut shop.

One not-bad looking man
kept staring at me smiling
I kinda like him
but thought of you
as I emulsified
my mint chocolate chip
ice cream in a styrfoam cup.

You came in all attitude
no class
said you had a seven month old baby
mothered by you ex-internet girlfriend
said you'd like to send your baby
back where she came from
said you hated the doughnut shop
How could I have chosen
this loud, crowded spot
with this ultrbright ultraviolet light
"that really makes you look too white"
Said I was too laid back.
What does it take to make you hyper?!
He said he was looking for a distraction
from his ex cause they kept breakin up and makin up.
Said he wanted to forget her.

So we said goodbye
and a little humiliated
I waded back home
trying not to trip
on earthquake concrete cracks
walking past a young man on crack
with hell in his eyes.

Then a nice looking fellow
rode by on a bike
"Hola...
Adios...
Que la vaya bien."