ultimate embarrassment

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Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words
back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a
few people who do....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blow job? I turned around
and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39,
Seguin, TX

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I
had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I
was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think
I like playing with men's balls." Colleen ! Collins,
31, Ferndale, MI

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking
at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked
if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
looking at your nuts." My sister started to
laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned red
and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let
me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving
looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked
me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
that I saw you kissing daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me
were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson,
Stafford, Virginia

5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and
boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON
LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad
enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for
"THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed
back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH
IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A
HAMMER?"
Diane E. Amov

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving
looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked
me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
that I saw you kissing daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me
were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson,
Stafford, Virginia

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