Posted
by
samzenpus
on Wednesday January 14, 2009 @06:07PM
from the f@#k-those-f@#king-f@#kers dept.

MBGMorden writes "It looks like in an act that defies common sense, a bill has been introduced in the South Carolina State Senate that seeks to outlaw the use of profanity. According to the bill it would become a felony (punishable by a fine up to $5000 or up to 5 years in prison) to 'publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.' I'm not sure if 'in writing' could be applied to the internet, but in any event this is scary stuff."

fuck, now i have to go to the fucking state house and tell Sanford and all the other asshole to gtfo. Who's with me! Imagine, a bunch of Slashdotters holding up signs that say Get the Fuck out. I hate living in this state with these fucking retards.
Fuck!

Personally, I hope to all that is holy that this law is passed, if only for its sheer comedic value.

The scene is right out of some zany kids' movie:

It is a dark and stormy night. The heroic legislators have finally passed a law outlawing all profanity! These heroes came up with a list of the specific words that will never again be used; but, of course, they had to write those words into the text of the law.

The vote passes unanimously. Society is saved! Never again will awful words be spoken! But wait... there is one source of those dirty words still! The law itself is now illegal, because it contains instances of those awful terrible swear words. Black-helmeted police commandos enter the legislature and arrest the legislators who wrote the law in the first place. After all, they printed that illegal profanity.

During the trial, the lawyers are arrested for saying the dirty words that the legislators wrote; the judge is removed from office for violating that law as well. Paralegals everywhere are arrested for preparing legal briefs that contain the dirty words those legislators wrote, and police themselves are arrested for repeating the reason the legislators were arrested in the first place. Newspapers are shut down for "making available" the text of the offending law.

There are still many ways states can distinguish themselves, though. Try re-legalizing slavery. Have a governor declare himself the State Duke for life. Totally outlaw alcohol. Declare pi to be 3.0. Require residents to quarter soldiers.

Who the fuck thought that shit was a reasonable punishment for such a minor fucking transgression? Lemme get this fucking straight -- you can drive 100 miles an hour down the god damn freeway, potentially putting fucking lives at risk, and probably get off with no more than a few days in jail, at worst, but if you fucking swear in the process, you're looking at five fucking years?

What the fuck?

It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

Well, at least they had the foresight to clearly define a standard for determining what is and isn't profanity. And clearly outlined the ways in which this wouldn't constitute a violation of the first amendment.</sarcasm>

"...publishes orally or in writing, exhibits, or otherwise makes available anything obscene to any a group or individual;"...so exhibiting anything obscene to any individual...is illegal? Doesn't that mean that I can't get naked with my g/f?

In re "Section 16-15-370. (A) It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

Sounds like you all need to go out and buy the latest copy of the Profanisaurus [amazon.com], subtitled "The Magna Farta". This is the "World's Sweariest Dictionary" compiled by Viz magazine [viz.co.uk] with over 10,000 rude words and phrases.

Should give you plenty of new phrases to use in your protest letters - many of which will not be understood by those in power unless they too resort to looking them up!

Plus this is one of those books which is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud - much like this new law.