My father was transferred to corporate headquarters for a few years. He worked on the 35th floor of a 45 story building. The CEO's office was on the top floor. One morning, my father got to work pretty early. It was early enough that the normally full elevators were nearly empty. In that building, like in other tall buildings, the elevators were split between cars that serviced the lower floors and the cars that serviced the upper floors. So, my father is waiting for one of the cars that would go to floors 30-45. There was a well dressed man waiting with him. The elevator came and both men got on. Almost the second the elevator doors closed, my father passed a fart that would make any frat boy proud. My father said the stench was so bad that he wanted to cry. And he was stuck inside a closed elevator going up 35 floors. That was not the worst part. The worst part was that his elevator companion was the CEO.

Several years later there was an emergency situation in which the company decided that they needed my father on site as fast as possible, so fast, in fact, that the CEO sent his own driver and car to pick him up and take him to the airport where he boarded the CEO's private jet. The CEO would be coming along. When the two men got into the car, the CEO looked at him and said "I'm so glad to be formally introduced to you!" Yup, he never forgot the award-winning elevator fart.

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Some people lift weights. I lift measures. It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Anyway, I discovered this the other night when she upchucked her entire dinner and snack all over my shirt. I also discovered that girlfriend needs to start chewing her food. I could practically count how many blueberries she ate for her evening snack. But I managed to catch most of it with my shirt and very little went anywhere else. Mom for the win!

But since these things tend to give generously, every time I eat something I think about whether or not I'm going to see it again and if so, how's it gonna taste on the return trip?

Anyway, I discovered this the other night when she upchucked her entire dinner and snack all over my shirt. I also discovered that girlfriend needs to start chewing her food. I could practically count how many blueberries she ate for her evening snack. But I managed to catch most of it with my shirt and very little went anywhere else. Mom for the win!

But since these things tend to give generously, every time I eat something I think about whether or not I'm going to see it again and if so, how's it gonna taste on the return trip?

DD got hit last weekend, and I was very cautious about what I ate for several days. Unfortunately, just as I was feeling hopeful that we had escaped the usual round robin..last night happened. I'm firmly in bed and my DH is looking at me side-eyed. Sigh.

Yesterday, I was walking into the shop with a few of the guys. I was the last one through the door. I was brave enough to let a little toot, thinking that since no one was behind me, I would be safe.

A few students were standing around one of the trucks in the middle of the shop, and I walked through the group to the other side of the shop. All of a sudden, someone yells "OH MY GOSH! WHO FARTED"? They all start blaming each other. Nobody accuses me.

Yes, I totally got away with crop dusting an entire shop full of guys.

Yesterday, I was walking into the shop with a few of the guys. I was the last one through the door. I was brave enough to let a little toot, thinking that since no one was behind me, I would be safe.

A few students were standing around one of the trucks in the middle of the shop, and I walked through the group to the other side of the shop. All of a sudden, someone yells "OH MY GOSH! WHO FARTED"? They all start blaming each other. Nobody accuses me.

Yes, I totally got away with crop dusting an entire shop full of guys.

I never did own up to it. I should have though.

ROFL, almost literally. The imagery of "crop dusting" (and somehow I picture a small, knowing smirk went along with it), has made my morning. Thanks for a much-needed laugh

Anyway, I discovered this the other night when she upchucked her entire dinner and snack all over my shirt. I also discovered that girlfriend needs to start chewing her food. I could practically count how many blueberries she ate for her evening snack. But I managed to catch most of it with my shirt and very little went anywhere else. Mom for the win!

But since these things tend to give generously, every time I eat something I think about whether or not I'm going to see it again and if so, how's it gonna taste on the return trip?

DD got hit last weekend, and I was very cautious about what I ate for several days. Unfortunately, just as I was feeling hopeful that we had escaped the usual round robin..last night happened. I'm firmly in bed and my DH is looking at me side-eyed. Sigh.

DD2 is down now as of last night. DH feels like a dead man walking, and we're just praying the baby stays well. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, I discovered this the other night when she upchucked her entire dinner and snack all over my shirt. I also discovered that girlfriend needs to start chewing her food. I could practically count how many blueberries she ate for her evening snack. But I managed to catch most of it with my shirt and very little went anywhere else. Mom for the win!

But since these things tend to give generously, every time I eat something I think about whether or not I'm going to see it again and if so, how's it gonna taste on the return trip?

DD got hit last weekend, and I was very cautious about what I ate for several days. Unfortunately, just as I was feeling hopeful that we had escaped the usual round robin..last night happened. I'm firmly in bed and my DH is looking at me side-eyed. Sigh.

DD2 is down now as of last night. DH feels like a dead man walking, and we're just praying the baby stays well. Fingers crossed.

DS (14) came down with something last Wednesday, and the nurse didn't bother to call either of his parents. By the time he was picked up, it was a full raging illness, and he was in "wet blanket" mode. He slept the whole afternoon, and I asked DH to take him to our local after hours pediatric clinic, which is our usual urgent care place for DS. I worked until 5, then had class until 8:30. DH didn't take DS, so Thursday morning, I called out of work and took him to our only other option, the local horrible urgent care chain. We waited 2 hours, finally were seen and DS had influenza. Can't return to school until he has no fever for 24 hours.

Picked up prescription for Tamiflu, fed DS, went home. DS felt awful most of the day Thursday, and then Friday he felt better in the morning, but awful most of the afternoon and evening. On Monday, DS has an awful cough and has bronchitis. I stayed home Monday, which was a good thing, because DH was feeling bad and came home. DH was running 102.6F when I took him to our primary care physician. DH had the flu too. So he and I (for preventative measures) are both taking Tamiflu, DH stayed home for two days.

My little public awareness notice: If someone in your house has the flu, you can take Tamiflu as a preventative measure.

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ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."-J.R.R Tolkien

Yesterday, I was walking into the shop with a few of the guys. I was the last one through the door. I was brave enough to let a little toot, thinking that since no one was behind me, I would be safe.

A few students were standing around one of the trucks in the middle of the shop, and I walked through the group to the other side of the shop. All of a sudden, someone yells "OH MY GOSH! WHO FARTED"? They all start blaming each other. Nobody accuses me.

Yes, I totally got away with crop dusting an entire shop full of guys.

I never did own up to it. I should have though.

ROFL, almost literally. The imagery of "crop dusting" (and somehow I picture a small, knowing smirk went along with it), has made my morning. Thanks for a much-needed laugh

Youre quite welcome! I almost didnt post this, because after all, this IS an etiquette board. What I did was abysmally rude. Then I realized that my fellow gross out hellions would love it.

Youre quite welcome! I almost didnt post this, because after all, this IS an etiquette board. What I did was abysmally rude. Then I realized that my fellow gross out hellions would love it.

Welcome to the thread of the slightly etiquette-challenged.

HAHAH! Thanks! This is my favorite thread in all of e-hell. Someone made a comment in another thread about how I had been here only a year and had already beaten their post count. I told them I blame it on the Gross Out Thread.

I thought the etiquette of 'crop dusting' was 'It never happened.' As in, it is most polite to just ignore any aspect of the bodily function that just happened.

So diesel_darlin? The guy in the shop was the rude one.

I was waiting at the baseball field for the team ahead of ours to clear out of the bench area, standing about 10 feet away. My IBS was making me a little gassy so the inevitable happened. We were outside; how bad could it be? It was an SBD of epic proportions. One of the girls on the team we were waiting on to clear out accused one of the guys of dropping it. He denied it and then said he would have been proud to claim that one. I kept silent and was hoping that my face wasn't turning red in embarrassment.

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After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.