>>Dear Kotex,
>>I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a
>>Bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
>> *Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
>> *Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
>> *Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated
>> And feeling fresh.
>> *Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...
>>
>>Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never
>>Possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating
>>Woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
>>Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go
>>Ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report
>>Back. I'll wait.
>>
>>While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
>>From the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders
>>Will be females who just ovulated.
>>
>>Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the
>>Only activities that interest me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying
>>For no apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off
>>Count as a friggen' activity?????
>>
>>Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine
>>Hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap
>>Like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
>>Their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.
>>
>>Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
>>Already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is
>>Enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
>>
>>It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley
>>Faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the
>>Packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it
>>In our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.
>>
>>There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
>>Announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya
>>Just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce
>>That...helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!
>>
>>So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces
>>And shove them right up your a--!
>>
>>P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of
>> Bourbon to your packages instead?