Wednesday, August 15, 2012

3 years

Last week was a fun week celebrating my birthday and our anniversary. I dislike celebratory events being too close to each other, but we got married just a few days after my birthday so every August it happens- of course it's fun, I just wish I could bask in it longer. (you know, just ONE pedicure for the two events when they're in the same week...sometimes life is difficult.)
Anyway, I turned 27. I really hadn't been looking forward to my birthday and hardly recall the last time a birthday for me was that awesome (16 maybe?), anyways Brad really went all out this year to make it special. He knows my favorite thing is food so he took me out to breakfast with the girls,

brought me lunch,

and we went out to dinner that evening at Brio, because I couldn't get this dish out of my head.

He has gotten so wise over the years...
He also showered me with surprise gifts. The storage ottoman I'd been pining for (but given up on actually acquiring):

He also gave me a nice card and got me season tickets to PTC, which was a complete surprise and they have a very promising season this year. SO sweet of him! This should balance out those BYU basketball season tickets.
On Saturday we celebrated our anniversary with pedicures, a dinner at Ruth's Chris (their steak and their shrimp were worth every penny!), going out to the movies, and spending the night at the Grand America. We had so much fun! Sleeping in is my new favorite treat ever since I became a mom.
This all made me reflect on our first year married and how far we've come.
And that brings me to marriage. 3 years to be exact. It's sort of amazing that my life could transform so much in 3 short years.
It was just a few years ago that I was a lone girl with no idea what the future had in store for me...

Now I have my own little family a with handsome husband and two beautiful daughters- the works.

I thought marriage was a HUGE adjustment, now my parental self laughs and laughs at that naive girl who thought there was any level of difficulty adjusting to the life change of living with a man.

I love Brad and truly believe he was the exact person the Lord had in mind for me to share life with, we are a perfect combo in so many ways. I remember before we got married my dad voicing his one concern about us together which is that we both have these adventurous, dream-filled minds that sometimes doesn't take into account responsibility and reality as much as they ought to. (hence falling in love on the forbidden island of Cuba) And you can see how it's played an awesome role in our marriage ("let's go to China with our twinfants!" "Okay, lets!!!") In all reality we are very responsible parents- much research was conducted, discussions with our pediatrician, we knew it would be hard, but we also knew the fun would be worth it. I really feel like life has been one big adventure since I married Brad. It might appear that the adventures are a result of wandering the streets of Cuba, riding camels in Morocco, and hiking the great wall of China with our babies, but I don't think that our life is full of adventure just because of some amazing trips we've been lucky enough to take, I could travel with someone boring to a foreign land and it wouldn't be the same. The wonderful part about being married to Brad is that even our days in our little old house in the Salt Lake valley can be filled with excitement and adventure. I love being with someone who wants to live life to it's fullness and who doesn't immediately dismiss my dreams, but thinks through them with me and considers which ones we can possibly make a reality.
Life is all too real sometimes, but sometimes it's like a fairytale. This is how the story goes:Once upon a time...

boy and girl reacquaint, very much intrigued they befriend each other.

Boy woos girl with MC Hammer dance moves-

seeing girl's infatuation with dress-ups boy further woos girl at a truck rally.

boy and girl visit a forbidden island {with a chapperone} and there confess their love.

girl finishes school, boy is too cool for school.

boy takes girl to NYC and gets down on one knee.

news travels far and wide of the proposed marriage between boy and girl.

a marriage takes place at the castle temple.

boy and girl become man and wife.

all the land rejoices.

man and wife ride camels in exotic lands.

man and wife live together in their little house.

wife teaches man to fish.

climbing a mountain, man and wife contemplate life.

man and wife attend a life changing concert.

man and wife are happy.

parenthood is imminent.

man and wife become mother and father to wee twins.

mother and father take wee twins to china.

the family of four safely returns to their homeland.

And they all lived happily ever after.

I won't pretend that our marriage is perfect, it's not. There are incredibly frustrating days and miscommunications at times. I'm not going to pretend that all was bliss as we adjusted to our parental roles- My memories of Brad in the first 6 months after the girls were born are mostly staring at him with envy and madness in my eyes as he slept while I nursed a baby, or came back from nursing a baby, or was getting up to nurse a baby in the middle of the night. The injustice! I'm sure his memories of me from that same time include fear that I would remain forever a disfigured, hormone crazed lunatic who aimlessly roamed through our house crying and rambling on about well...the injustice! Sleep deprivation is dangerous folks, I don't recommend it.
But I married a fighter. He's committed. He's not going anywhere, and he's willing to work for a good thing. Growing up in a house of all boys he didn't get a lot of exposure to life with women, it's a new world for him that although I'm not sure he'd really say he "enjoys" it, he has grown leaps and bounds in this area and I salute him for it. And I know he secretly likes some of his new world of little women.
I truly believe if anyone were to find and marry the imaginary spouse of their dreams, the most perfect person you could imagine, in marriage you could easily grow to hate that person. You could grow to hate anyone being exposed to their idiosyncrasies and flaws day in and day out. On the flip side you could take someone you cared little for and through effort and sacrifice and sharing in life's experiences with mutual respect grow to love that person. I'm certainly not for arranged marriages, start our with a fighting chance by hand picking your favorite person. :) But if you think about your family- your parents and your siblings, you didn't get to choose them, but you probably love them a lot because you know each other so well, care about each other so much, and have been through so much of life together.
I married the perfect guy for me, and I know as long as we focus on all the good that we have (which is so much) we really have everything going for us. Strong marriage, adorable children- I just have to pinch myself and knock on wood because sometimes it really feels too good to be true. I feel very blessed and don't take that for granted. Here's to the best 3 years of my life, I couldn't imagine anyone I'd rather share my memories with.

I love the way you told your story... the pictures are so sweet too. I'm glad that I've been able to watch some of that story unfold! It's funny to think that when we met, you were a newly engaged, dreadlocks-wearing nurse-to-be, and now you're a mommy of two cute little girls, a director of nursing, and a wife who knows how to make her marriage strong. I think what you said is so true... marriage doesn't work because we're perfect, but because we work together and share experiences and don't give up. Happy anniversary!