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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Redemption Tour

FORT MYERS, Fla. — The Red Sox know you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling. They aim to win back the hearts of disgruntled fans.

Welcome to JetBlue Park in sunny southwest Florida, the first stop on the Red Sox Redemption Tour of 2013.

The Sox assembled at JetBlue Tuesday for the first workout of pitchers and catchers. Manager John “True Grit” Farrell put the fellows through a grueling two-hour workout, and nobody texted Adrian Gonzalez to suggest a clubhouse coup d’etat.

It’s all good this year. Come on down and take a long look at John Lackey. He’s a fatty no more. Say hello to new shortstop Stephen “I’m no J.D.” Drew. And while you’re at it, check out Dustin Pedroia, who says, “They didn’t have to spend $100,000 on that focus group to find out I’m a sexy guy. I could have told them that for free!’’

The Sox were New England’s top dogs for a long time, dominating the local sports landscape and spreading their brand globally. Major League Baseball sent the Centerfold Sox to Japan in 2008. ESPN and Fox insisted on placing the Sox in prime time, knowing the Carmine Hose would boost national ratings. Every Fenway game was a legitimate sellout.

The rest of the column is about as forced and cliched as the above collection of new Shankisms indicates. I think Shank's columns could use a bit of spring training as well, including yesterday's 'effort' on Red Sox owner John Henry, with Shank taking his customary place in the back of the room, writing down the Q & A of the other reporters & Mr. Henry and passing off the regurgitation as a column.