It makes me giggle. Lots. And it reminds me of an interesting customer I once had.

As a senior in high school I worked at a local video store. It was owned by one of my neighbors and was very small. We had cigarettes behind the register, and a section for more… adult material in a back room. We also had a considerable number of regular customers.

One evening I was working all by my little lonesome, when a strange woman walked in. There had been people in and out all day, but few of them had come straight to the counter as this one did. She leaned forward so that she could speak to me very softly. “I need a pack of cigarettes,” she said. I started to ask her what kind when she cut me off, “but you can’t tell anyone I got them here.”

Now I had heard a number of odd requests working in this store, but that was a new one. I attempted to assure her that I didn’t think it would be a problem, but she seemed very concerned. “You don’t understand! People will come in here and ask if I bought them. They may even offer you money. But you can’t tell them! Please! I really need you to keep this a secret for me.”

“Ok, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“Even if they pay you?”

“Even if they offer me money, I promise.”

Having finally convinced her that I would not betray her trust, I pulled down the brand of her choice and began to ring her up. At this time a gentleman walked out of the back section. He had gone in maybe a minute before this whole exchange started, and presumably had made his choice of, erm, viewing material. The lady saw him and freaked. “Who is that!”

She had confused me so badly during this conversation that I had honesly forgotten that there was anyone else in the store, let alone who it was. I told her that I wasn’t sure who the man was and she threw the packet of smokes down on the counter. “DAMMIT! They have spies everywhere! I can’t buy these here.” And she stormed out.

The gentleman walked up to the counter with his movie tickets (we had all of the tapes in the back storage area) and I instantly started laughing. The man was one of our regulars. He was also completely and totally deaf. He looked at me confused so I wrote down a brief description of what had just happened. He read it, gave me a look of confusion, and made the universal sign for crazy. I couldn’t have agreed more.