The Future of Consumerist

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Go into your freezer, grab that pint of Häagen-Dazs and hold it tight, New Yorkers: someone out there is targeting high-end ice cream in a series of thefts that may or may not be indicative of a dairy shoplifting ring.

No, really, there are people targeting ice cream pints — especially containers of pricey Häagen-Dazs — in stores around New York City, DNAINfo reports.

Thieves lifted hundreds of cartons of Häagen-Dazs worth more than $1,000 from two Duane Reade stores within minutes of each other on Saturday, police said, pointing to the possibility of some kind of organized dairy theft ring.

Two suspects snagged 66 containers of Häagen-Dazs valued at $375.54 from a refrigerated display case at a midtown Duane Reade and walked out of one store at 10:45 a.m. Just a few minutes later, at about 10:51 a.m., two suspects stole 224 containers of the same brand valued at $712.32 from another Duane Reade in the same area, police said.

It’s unclear whether it was the same two suspects in both stores, but there were other Duane Reade thefts involving Häagen-Dazs last fall. Police did arrest a suspect this week who had been allegedly working with a crew of younger men to steal ice cream as well, DNAInfo points out.

This all just provides more support for my idea that there should be some kind of cow signal we could shine into the sky whenever someone’s dairy products are in trouble.