How To Help Your Child Succeed in Math

Q: I'm in fifth grade and need help with my math homework, but my parents can't do it either. They get upset, and I feel stupid and like it's all my fault. I want to do well in math. What can I do?

A: It sounds to The Family Project 's panelists as if you've got a real math problem on your hands! But they're pretty sure you and your parents will be able to solve it together. First, they want you to know that you're not stupid, even when you feel that way. And, if your parents get upset when they can't help you with your math homework, it's not your fault.

There are lots of reasons why parents might get upset about math. Most likely, they're angry with themselves for not sticking with math the way they should have when they were your age. In fact, they probably feel really bad that they can't help you and feel as stupid as you say you do. Also, your parents are older. They've had a long time to forget how to do math. And, back when they went to school, math was taught a lot differently.

So it's not unusual for today's parents not to understand their kids' math homework, says Guadalupe Matias, principal at Marvine Elementary School. The Family Project 's panelists asked her for advice on your question. "There's a mismatch between what parents learned and what kids are doing now in math," she says. That might make your parents worried they'll confuse you more if they try to help, she adds. So, don't get too angry at your parents, OK? And if you are feeling upset or think your parents are when you try to work on math, just ask to take a 10-minute break to calm down.

Our panelists also want you to know that math isn't always the easiest subject in the world. Math problems get more complicated -- and interesting! -- about fifth grade. But that doesn't mean you have to give up, fall behind or start hating math. You and your parents just need to figure out how to get you the help you need to do well. How do you do that? Well, the next time you have trouble with your math homework, ask your parents to write a note telling your teacher you tried but you need to do something different to succeed.

Often, when kids have trouble in math, it's because there's a gap between what they know and what they need to know, says guest panelist Rachel Shook. So, maybe your teacher can point out something you haven't learned very well yet -- like how to do multiplication -- that you could practice at home with your parents. Or, maybe your teacher can give you some extra help or find someone in your class who already understands the math homework to help you. Your teacher also might be able to give your parents some tips on how to help -- maybe a specific hint with each of your homework assignments.

There might even be a special program at your school to help them understand the new ways of teaching math. There might be someone else in your family or your neighborhood who can help you understand math. Or, there might be an after-school homework or tutoring program at school or near where you live. Or, if you have a computer, or can use one at the library, we're betting that you can find lots of help with math homework topics on the Internet. There's something else you can do, too. Sometimes it helps with math problems if someone listens to you as you talk them through.

So, ask your parents if you can spend some time with one of them after school just to talk about math. It can be before or while you do your homework. Even if they don't know how to do it, they still can listen to you. You can try explaining to your parents what you did in math class that day, and what's puzzling you about the homework problems you were given. Of course, that means you'll really have to do your part and pay attention in school! Here's something else that often helps with word problems. You can underline the important words or draw a picture or even act out the problem as you talk about it.

The people who discussed your problem really hope you don't want your parents to "do" your homework for you. That wouldn't be right. But one of the suggestions they've come up with might be the one that will help you solve your homework problem. Or maybe reading this article will help you think of a completely different solution. Learning how to think through a problem and find a solution is a big part of getting good at math. So, just by figuring out how to solve your problem without everyone getting upset is really helping you learn how to do math.

Remember -- just because your parents have trouble with math doesn't mean you have to be that way when you grow up. So, show this to them and get to work!

familyproject@mcall.com 610-820-6562 The Family Project is a collaboration between The Morning Call and parenting professionals brought together by the Valley Youth House program Project Child, the Lehigh Valley's child-abuse prevention coalition.

How to help your child succeed in math

Here are some tips for encouraging your child to succeed in mathematics, adapted from www.math.com:

Get to know your child's teacher and what your child is learning. Don't be afraid to tell the teacher about your own shortcomings in math, seek extra help for your child or ask what you can do to help your child succeed. Help the child keep up. Math is a subject that requires continual building on skills already learned. Help your child by stressing how important regular attendance is. Make sure work missed is made up. Give your child a place and time to do homework and stress its important. Point out that math is everywhere. Involve your child in everyday decisions that require math -- calculating the time needed for a trip at different speeds or the price of a tank of gas, recounting change, adding up the scores in games or figuring out batting averages or the best buy in groceries. Encourage your child's interest in measuring, mapping and computational technology. Rulers, measuring cups, maps and graphs, thermometers, adding machines, cash registers, calculators, computers and GPS devices all can help children develop math skills. Play games that develop decision-making, computational and strategizing skills. There are lots of board games, counting games and card games that can become family traditions and encourage children to use math while having fun. Encourage your child to stick with math. Even if you think you're not good at it, try not to send the negative message that math is "hard." Stress that anyone can learn it, and get extra help to find the ways your child learns it best. Show your child how math is used in your work or the work of others. It's not just scientists and accountants who use math -- so do carpenters, salespeople, computer programmers, waiters and waitresses and even newspaper reporters. Avoid gender stereotypes. Many times girls get the message that girls aren't good at math or don't have to be -- it's for boys. If boys don't do well, they feel inadequate. Stress that math is a skill that improves with practice. Don't be afraid to get expert help. You wouldn't try to teach your child ballet if you never learned it. There's no shame in admitting you don't know how to teach your child math. Convey positive attitudes about math. How you think and feel about math and how you express yourself will have a big effect on your child. Try not to use negative words about your or your child's ability or the subject itself. Help your child believe that he or she is already a mathematician who can only get better.

RESOURCES Here are some resources for parents whose children need help with math:

Many schools offer homework clubs or tutoring programs. Check out this one sponsored by the Allentown Education Association, the teachers' union. Teachers donate their time from 5-7 p.m. Mondays through March 29 at the Allentown Public Library's main building at S. 12th and Hamilton streets and south side branch at 601 W. Emmaus Ave. If a homework or tutoring program doesn't exist at your school, ask how to get one started.

Community tutoring programs can help kids with math. In Allentown, try Caring Place, 931 Hamilton St., Allentown (610-433-5683) or Casa Guadalupe at 143 Linden St., Allentown (610-435-9902); in Easton, Make Your Mark, a reading and math skills-building program for students in grades 2-8 sponsored by ProJeCt of Easton at St. Anthony's Youth Center, 901 Washington St., and Shiloh Community Center, 548 Canal St. (610-258-4361).

Ask your child's teacher or guidance counselor to help you find a program. "How to Help Your Child with Science and Math," a free workshop presented by Dr. Debra Plehn and Dr. Sharon Lee-Bond, science professors at Northampton Community College, will take place as part of the Parent College initiative of the Allentown School District, 5-8 p.m. Feb. 4, Muhlenberg Elementary School, 740 N. 21st St., Allentown. Info: 484-765-4046. Sylvan Learning Center, 2211 Mack Boulevard, Allentown, offers testing to identify skill gaps and tutoring for a fee. 610-791-5320.

Some online resources include: http://childparenting.about.com/cs/k6education/a/newmath.htm, an overview with links to other helpful sites; http://mathforum.org/dr.math/, which includes an Ask Dr. Math feature; www.math.com/parents.html, a comprehensive site you shouldn't miss; www.coolmath4parents.com, which includes a list of questions to help your child get started on homework in a "How to Help with Homework" page and some activities for grandparents and other babysitters. Don't let this long address deter you: http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/XJ&sdn=childparenting&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.figurethis.org%2Findex40.htm is home to "Figure This," a site full of fun and funny math activities for families.