I have a love/hate relationship with the big W. I love to make fun of it , and I hate to shop there. Unfortunately, in my fair to middlin’ town of Pooler, GA, I have no Target to woo me unless I drive into Savannah. So sometimes I just have to make do. That being the case, I use my Hell-mart time wisely and while I shop for my home essentials, I also shop for writing material. Yes, I do have a dialogue notebook that I carry around with me, so be careful what you say or you may wind up in a book of mine!

Here are five things I HATE about Wal-Mart parking lots:

1. Shopping carts – It’s not that I hate the carts themselves, but the lazy bastards who can’t seem to put them in the corrals, even when the corral is right next to their car. On a windy day it’s like a buggy bumper carfest.

2. Handicapped spaces – Again, nothing against handicapped parking at all. But when did laziness become a justifiable handicap?

3. Trash – Even though there are several trash cans placed strategically in EVERY freaking row in the lot, it seems that, once again, laziness (or stupidity) wins out and trash cans are nothing but a suggestion. I have seen everything from chewed up chicken parts to loaded diapers littering the lot, creating a fetid obstacle course rife with putridity and potential hazardous waste.

4. Campers – When Smokey the Bear said “only you can prevent forest fires” he didn’t mean only you can prevent forest fires if you stop camping in the forest and camp in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Apparently, his message was misinterpreted by a large percentage of vehicular campers who squat their Winnebagos alongside the trucks decorated with Playboy mudflaps and pissing Calvins.

5. Kids – I love kids. In fact, over the years, I’ve acquired two of my very own. What I do not like is kids whose parents allow them to wander aimlessly in parking lots. Usually said parents are either on the phone, or too busy trying to manage their other offspring to attend to the one who has wandered into the middle of the road and is standing there picking his snotty nose completely unaware of the “handicapped” twenty year old with who is gunning it in reverse. I’m tired of feeling responsible for other people’s lackadaisical approach to parenting.

4 Comments

While I do agree with most of your points, I have to come to the defense of SOME of the campers, as I am one of those said campers on occasion. There are some RVers that take advantage of WalMarts far and wide in this country…they stay for more than just the night, they put out their lawn chairs, they pull out their slides, they run their generators. For the most part, though, RVers know the etiquette of using the WalMart parking lot. We use it when it’s too late to find a decent campground for the night, or if every campground is full because we’ve failed to make proper reservations on say, July 4th weekend. It’s not supposed to be “camping” when you stay at WalMart. Rather, it’s “making do” while on the road. We do park where no one in their right mind would want to park their car, as well. I love WalMart for that reason alone…they’ve helped us out in a pinch many, many times.

Hahaha! Those are great reasons. I don’t like it because every dang time I’m in a hurry they only have 2 of 3952 registers open. HELLO! WHY in the heck do you HAVE that many registers and have them all closed? Duh. And WHAT happened to the sales on toys?! Used to you could save a boatload on clearance toys. NOW the sale price is still too high for my liking. I guess my kids will just have to play with rocks and sticks because dude, I am not paying $12 for an action figure. I remember when $4 was bad enough.