A blog by Mike aka Thog. I write. I game. I've never eaten a starfish.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

And lo...

Today we have a guest blog from my dad, about feeding dogs raw meat. I probably need to give some disclaimer at some point - um, okay. I am in no way instructing you to feed your animals raw meat, in case something bad happens. And I'm sure vets are very good. This post is included for its entertainment value. Which is considerable.That being said, if you are on the look out for some decent Christmas/Yule presents, I'd recommend heading over to my parents Facebook page, and giving them a message asap with your postal address and a request for a free catalogue. They do all kinds of weird and wonderful stuff, like gemstones, jewellery, incense, charm bags, moon diaries, candles, totem stones, books... the list goes on and on. They're mail order only (well okay you can ring them and order) and there is just the two of them running the business, so if you want something unusual and unique as a present for someone you'd best off get a catalogue as soon as possible and get ordering!Dad - over to you!

Greetings dear reader,
I trust you are well. On occasion in the past I may have regaled you
with tales wild and varied, of violent awakenings of a befuddled soul
fresh from their bed standing in something unmentionable before the
sun has risen upon the day, or have read of the home truths of hairy
canines, who be they beautiful, lovely, loyal and loving, are all at
one in the same time, still dogs! And on this occasion a unique
occurrence presented itself to the writer of tales so I bid thee be
of good and hearty spirit, and prepare for amazement …

And lo, the wolves
didst look up the sheep of many heads, and the sheep didst gaze back
at they, as only the silent dead can do, and the wolves were
confounded, and they did look to one another in bewilderment, and
then did turn their eyes to their mistress as if to say “What the?”

So it was that one of
the breeders pups had eaten a plastic bag with dire consequences –
Colitis. In essence, it was crapping blood persistently and far from
well. The vet recommended steroids for possibly the rest of its life,
a diagnosis of considerable benefit to their bank balance (there’s
nothing like guaranteed repeat business, right?) The breeder, who
knows more about her breed than probably any vet alive and most other
people in the world, knew well enough that the poor creature would
not develop properly if kept on steroids – sometimes these drugs
are unavoidable, but you need to be off them as soon as possible - so
another answer was needed.

Much research and
talking with other canine experts in many far flung countries was
done and an unusual answer was suggested – raw meat, or rather raw
carcasses.

The pup really didn’t
want to eat its normal food which is cereal based and so in for a
penny etc, raw chicken wings were offered to the dog. Amazingly the
pup was more than interested and devoured the wings. The breeder knew
full well that bitches who have just recently given birth do well
with raw chicken to help them recuperate, and that the new mum’s
always try to offer the carcasses to their new pups, which seems a
little odd … but maybe they instinctively know what is best?

So this was the food
for several days and amazingly the bleeding ceased. After some time
the cereal diet was tried again but this brought a resumption of
bleeding and was quickly stopped. Apparently the cereal diet caused
bleeding, but raw bones and meat didn’t?! An unexpected but a
welcome outcome.

Further research
suggested that raw carcasses are indeed recommended for this breed of
dog (Rough collies) and to cut a long story short, a supplier of
chicken carcasses was found and now all the dogs at the kennels
(around 30 at present) eat the new diet and to excellent effect. An
unexpected side effect is that all dog’s are now worm free and
without any form of ‘worm doom’ treatment. Apparently the diet
changes the pH balance of the stomach and worms don’t thrive in
such conditions. Not what one would have expected, but all to the
good.

All most excellent, all
dogs now eat chicken carcasses and also tripe, and love it to
boot.

But what of sheep’s
heads?

Ah well, it only seemed
right that the search was ongoing for variations of food carcasses
and upon visiting a trade butcher known to the breeder, she was
delighted to see sheep’s heads for sale. They were a bargain I must
tell you, less than £1 each, and she did speak with the butcher and
ask for some sheep’s heads.

Certainly madam, how
many would you like (he thinks, she will want one, for a laugh)

Twenty six please.

Certainly madam, erm
twenty six? What are you going to do with them?

Feed them to the dogs!

Picture if you will,
these are sheep’s heads. Take a sheep, remove the head part and
that is what you have got – fur, eyeballs, horns, the lot!

Some time later twenty
six sheep’s heads arrived at the breeders and she took them to the
dog’s enclosure and ‘deposited’ them. And lo the dog’s were
amazed!

And they did look at
the sheep’s heads, and the sheep’s heads did look back at them.
And the dog’s looked at the breeder as if to say “What the?”

The breeder did wonder
if there was going to be a pile of rotting heads in the enclosure
thereafter. The dog’s sniffed the sheep’s heads, prodded them,
and looked about as if not knowing what to do.

The breeder went to bed
a-wondering which colour wheelie bin was most appropriate for disposing of twenty six sheep’s heads.

But amazingly, the
curious canines continued to ‘investigate’ the strange arrival in
their compound, and the following morning when she went to the
enclosure, of sheep’s heads there were none to be seen! Jaw bones,
horns and the occasional bit of wool being blown about. All else had
vanished completely, tongues, brains, eyeballs, skulls, the lot!

And yes, the dog’s
are fine!

Stirred on by the
wondrous tale we decided to buy ourselves a chicken and, well chop
the bits off that we wanted – breasts and legs – and offer the
remains to our two fluffy creatures Maeve and China.

Dad and dogs. I'm fairly certain the only way he got them both to sit like this was with food.

Maeve, looked at us as
if to say “Eh?” She sniffed, prodded, mouthed a small piece ……
tried to be attentive as she could, as this was obviously her main
meal of the day, but no … what, you expect me to eat it?!

China is a different
sort of creature. When she found that she had been given half a
chicken carcass she gathered it up and disappeared to find somewhere
secluded to eat her prize. We have never known her do this ever
before, but hey, apparently this was her birthday and she loved her
‘pressy’.

A few bare minutes
later she came back downstairs from the bedroom and took intense
interest in the delicious offering which Maeve was ignoring. In an
effort to help Maeve along I chopped up all her carcass into bite
sized pieces, which was a complete waste of time, no way was she
eating that rubbish.

China looked
pleadingly, she knows full well that she isn’t supposed to steal
Maeve’s food and she looked genuinely surprised when we said “Go
on then China, you can have it!”

A few short minutes
later every morsel had vanished, the plate licked clean and a very
happy dog settled down on the sofa.

And she was fine, no
problems of any kind; we haven’t seen China so happy for a long
time 

NB Apparently chicken
carcasses are ok for dogs but they must be raw – cooking makes the
bones brittle and likely to shatter into sharp pieces.