The Novice Runner: Overcoming the fear

Nicole FrischI never feared running in front of my dog, Lola. Poodles donât judge.When I first started running, I was determined to suffer through the wheezing and pain and general awkwardness away from the surely-prying eyes of the “real” runners – you know, those tall, fit, lanky people who all star in Nike commercials in their free time. There was absolutely no way I was going to let others bear witness to my unfortunate attempts at becoming a runner. So I did what any sane person would do – I decided to exclusively run on a treadmill.

This seemed like a win-win proposition. I could be squishy in private, keep a steady pace and sing along to Ke$ha without anyone knowing (yes, I have questionable taste in running music) (no, I can't believe I just admitted that on the internet).

Running is a solo sport, right? So what better way to run than by myself, just my treadmill, my iPod and my squishy midsection?

This worked fairly well for me for my first few months of training. I just couldn't understand why people referred to the treadmill as the “dreadmill” – what was so bad about this magical machine that kept my suffering away from the eyes of hapless bystanders?

And then I had my first five mile day. I was bored out of my skull. Staring at a wall for an hour as I slogged along nearly broke me. That was when I had to face the unfortunate truth: I was running on a treadmill because I was afraid. And that fear – and the horrific treadmill-induced boredom – had to stop.

You see, for us novice runners, there is this looming fear that we will be found out. People will realize that we're imposters, that we don't know what we're doing, that we never ran track in high school and that we don't really know what an IT band is* or what it does. And then there's the fear that we all really look like Phoebe from Friends when we run – that might be the biggest fear of all.

But it was time. I had to face my fear.

The first time I ran outside, I was terrified. Honestly, I felt like I would soon be discovered – that people would see me and somehow know that I was an interloper and not a real runner. Like perhaps someone would run up behind me, tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey, who let you out here on the path with the rest of us?”

Here's a quick spoiler: That never happened.

Over the last few months, as I ventured outside more – and started running without my headphones and with friends instead – I realize that though so many people see running as a solo sport, for many of us it's not. I've found other runners – you know, real runners – to be incredibly helpful as I ramp up my training for Race for the Roses, offering tips and resources and even venturing out with me for slow, slow runs to keep me company as I train.

I don't fear running in public anymore. And I don't think running is a solo sport anymore either – we're all in this together, whether we like it or not. Now, as for the question of if I look like Phoebe when I run... well, watch for me at this weekend's Fanconi Anemia Run– you'll be able to see for yourself. Though, as Phoebe says, “You don't care if people are staring! It's just for a second, 'cause then you're gone!”

*Note: I now know all too well what my IT band is. And what it is, is a pain. But that's another blog post ...