the New York Post reported last Thursday that having oral sex with more than 6 partners increases the chance of getting throat cancer.

I can't fuckin' find my copy of the New York Post (which I religiously buy everyday en route to work at 6:00 am..hahahahahaha.. who knew I would ever subscribe to the Post over the Times?? hahahahahaha) I'm gonna provide you with the quote from USATODAY..

"Researchers have linked oral sex to a type of throat cancer, saying that those who engaged in the sexual act with more than six partners over the course of their lifetime were nine times more likely to develop oropharyngeal cancer"

NINE FOLD?!!!!

Tsktsktsk..

I am aghast.

It also says that oral infection of Human Papillioma Virus (the virus that CAUSES CERVICAL cancer) can cause throat cancer IRRELEVANT of tobacco and/or alcohol use. That means that you can smoke and drink all you want and still have LESS risk factors than giving someone a blowjob.

Now what is the HPV? Well, the HPV is a DNA-based virus that infects the skin and mucuous membranes.. they usually cause warts.. (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!)

hahahaha.. I can't stop laughing..

Just something to think about the next time (guys and gals) you decide to service someone.. hahahahahahahahahahaha..

Friday, May 11, 2007

There's no time for us... There's no place for us... What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us?...

Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

Fitting words Freddie.

Bands nowadays (especially Filipino bands..sad to say) bore me to death.. I have honestly been sick to the point of inducing auditory hemmorhage just to block out those infernal sounds they coin "music".. WTF?! Sure I would "like" one or two of their songs. But as for the rest of their repertoire.. I could hardly care less if they were forgotten in the annals of music history.. never to be heard from again.

Only one band has broken this stereotype for me. Again, sad to say, it's not a Filipino band. It's actually on the other side of the world. In that little island we call Great Britain. The great and eternal Queen!

GAD!! I am suffering from major Queen-addiction these past few days!!I have honestly scoured the recesses of YouTube for their live concert videos and have watched them OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

For some reason, Queen's songs are always poignant and magical. The fantasy is always alive and there is a massive need to interpret their usually cryptic and mysterious lyrics(seriously, WTF does Scarramouoch mean?).

And the people love them. In their 1986 concert, they filled the whole Wembley Arena in London. It looked like you couldn't drop a needle in that pit of carbon entities all jumping up and down to the beat of We Will Rock You or Under Pressure.

AND THIS!! QUEEN SEEMED LIKE THE LEADER OF A FUCKIN' RELIGION!!! AND THE PEOPLE ALL IN A TRANCE!!!! (WATCH IT FUCKERS!!!)

Even though Freddie Mercury (may he rest in peace) has a massively fugly overbite, HE IS SO FUCKIN' HOT!!!

But when he wore his hair long... he kinda looked like a tranny... hahahahahahahahahaha..

And my fave song of all.. No other than the legendary Bohemian Rhapsody..It honestly makes my hair raise.. awooo!

Freddie.. wherever you are... YOU ROCK!! I loove your costumes!!! Leotards.. capes..crowns.. WOW!! GLAM ROCK FASHION!! As for Brian May though.. he looks like a mess slouching in that oversized jacket... tsk tsk.. hehehehehehe

Friday, May 4, 2007

GAD!!! I am so in love with Mr. Deutscheman!! I want to have all of his babies!! hahahaha!!

okok.. let me compose myself and recount the day that has just transpired-- which is probably the most tiring, yet sensuous one for me to date here in ze US.

Things were going well with me and Mr. Deutscheman. I was kinda dancing around their table during breakfast (hahahaha!! in a non-pole-dancer way of course!!) to the beat of Vertigo by U2.. hahaha.. and then he approached me and then we once again exchanged beguiling banter (at this point I wanted to jump him and just do the deed in front of everyone--on the long table perhaps).

I actually asked for his email address. To my dismay, he said he has no time for email so he doesn't have one (I'm not sure if I believe this) and he exclaimed how ancient he was. (ugh)

I was kinda disappointed with that. I thought "maybe he just doesn't want to give it to me." So my day started to go downhill. The negative energy radiating from me at that time spread to my environment. And as a result, I was tasked to clean the snack closet-- an impossible feat by oneself. GGGRRR. I am still reeling from that snack-closet thing.

Lunch came. He wasn't talking to me. I was pissed-off mad. I was trying to maintain my composure and smile by thinking happy thoughts.. thinking of Ugly Betty last night.. of payday later on today.. and of the weekend. This kinda confirmed to me that he just didn't want to give me his email address. FUCK.

The only exchange in between us was his "thank you (my name)."

I resolved to just brush the while thing off and just complain to my co-worker, Kelly, about it.

Kelly wasn't around. So my rants were still bottled up. I worked at the cafe for around 2 hours. Then some of the Bb.U students came up for a taste of the expensive stuff we offer there..hehehe..

Tracy, a Bb.U student who says that she lusts after a lot of people (as in a lot) although she's married, (hahahaha. She likes one of the stylists.. hahaha..) and Laura, another Bb.U student, gossiped with me. And then Mr. Deutscheman went up and bought some products. Before he left, Tracy greeted him and said "Guten Tag!" He came over and talked to them while I was standing on the sides....feeling ignored.

Then after he said goodbye to them he faced me and took my hand, and with that smile that could make me cream my pants in an instant, told me "It was so nice to meet you. Grow taller and visit me in Germany".. hahahahahahahaha!! I swear.. even if it was that cheesy and probably meant nothing, I started to melt like mush.

I said "When I go to Europe (which I will once I am able to save enough money), and I happen to drop by Stuttgart, I'll try and find you."

He said "You should!"

"Where are you working again?"

"(Salon Name that I can't understand coz it's in German)"

"I'll just look up your contacts at the Bumble network. That ok?"

"PERFECT!"

and then we shook hands and he left.

I was soooooooooooooooooooooo drugged up at that point.. hehehe..

Then I left too to deposit my check at the bank. On my way home, guess who I met at the street?

"Hopefully I see you in the future"

"I hope so"

IT'S DESTINY I TELL YOU!!!!

And oh oh oh!! Yesterday, when Aaron, one of the senior stylists, was asking me where I was from, it was Mr. Deutscheman who answered him.

"He's from the Philippines."

I love him so much. hahahahahahahahaha.

I can't stop staring at his photograph!!

I can't wait to go to Germany...for the day when I'll bend over and start screaming--"Mr. Deutscheman inseminate me!!!"

He's German.. Mid-thirties (DADDY!!!!) He's from Stuttgart.. He has gray eyes.. He has a strong jaw line.. He has a strong nose bridge.. And his ass is sooooooooooooo perky.. hahahahahaha!!

He initially caught my eye in the morning when I was preparing the class' petite dejourner. He smiled at me.. I smiled back.

The flames opf conversation did not light til they had their break at around 11 in the morning. He bit the apples that were provided to them and he made a comment how delicious they were. I said that they were freshly STOCKED(hahahahaha!) everyday. And then we exchanged beguiling banter(my sort of foreplay).

The funny thing is, when they had gone, I found myself singing mushy and cheesy songs all of a sudden. Imagining hypothetical situations, some too graphic to explicate. Then I made it a point to provide them all (with Mr. Deutscheman..that's what I'll call him..as the focal point) with a fun and delectable dejourner.. Pathetic ain't it? hehehehehe..

However, two days from now, he'll be back on a plane for Stuttgart... Sad....

That's why tomorrow and on Friday, I will dress like I've never dressed (in a non-formal event) before..

I need to take a photograph oh him.. I SHALL USE THE POWER OF THE SECRET!!!!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

I hate ZOMBIES.. and I hate Zombie movies for showing zombies.. It is my utmost belief that the world could do without zombie movies. SERIOUSLY.. why are there zombie films out there anyway? Is it really necessary to show decaying masses of humanity eating the flesh and innards of man? Can I just say EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

SERIOUSLY!!

I hate them more because of the fact that when I happen to chance upon a movie like Resident Evil, or Dawn of the Dead, I cannot help but stay tuned and watch it. It's as if some mysterious cosmic force if pulling my will away. Like it's saying "Watch it!! So you'll have nightmares!! I command you to fuck yourself with horror movies!!!"..

So yeah, after that shit, I'd be unable to sleep at all. But I cannot stop myself from watching!!!!

But I chanced upon a movie that really piqued my interest.. not my fear, disgust and impulsive degradation of willpower.. SHAUN OF THE DEAD..

Seriously!

That movie is the shit!!! It's one of the funniest, scariest, and saddest movies I have ever seen. ALL IN ONE ONE and a HALF HOUR FILM!! WEEEEHH!!

It's basically a spoof of Dawn of the Dead.. Shaun is this loser-esque guy who fumbles his work and love life to a quagmire.. as he is trying to fix it, zombies start to appear and destroy civilization in their city. He then rescues his mum(and step-dad) and subsequently, his girlfriend(+ her friend, and stalker-ish guy friend who's gaga over her) and they head to the pub to hide..

Unfortunately.. his stepdad becomes a zombie.. so does his mum... the sad part was when he had to shoot his own mum... it was like.... probably the most painful thing a child could feel... I shed a tear for that... so did Shaun..

eventually..when it seemed like all hope was lost and none but 2 (Shaun and girlfriend) remained non-undead, the British Army came in and slaughtered the scourge.. HOOORAY FOR THE BRITS!!!

My favorite scene was when the stalker-ish friend of Shaun's girlfriend got eaten by zombies... the zombies literally tore his stomach open and feated on his innards... I was trying to upload an image but I could not copy it...aaaaawww....

sorry I've been away for such a long time. I feel like I've let down my 5 readers. AAAAWW.. you know I love you guys.. :)

anyway, what's been happening? Well, my cellphone dilemma has finally been resolved. Cingular has atoned for its sins against humanity and fixed my phone. Thank gawd! So my fingers are starting to work again after almost 3 months of being in suspended animation... I am back!

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