Let's return to that comparison of hunting for your first home. Would holding the keys have been quite so exhilarating if your parents had decided on which place was right for you?

Because it's the adult children who do the choosing when their aging parents need to make the move from a longtime home to a senior community. And — surprise! — the elders don't like ceding autonomy any more than young adults do.

One is staying put, known as "aging in place," preferably in a NORC, which may sound like a Lord Of The Rings character but stands for Naturally Occurring Retirement Community. In other words, that neighborhood you chose, back when the kids were little, because of all the families, now is full of graying parents like you.

Another option is moving. Ready for more acronyms? Choices here range from a retirement community with a minimum age for residents (55-plus), or a CCRC, a continuing-care retirement community, which offers independent living, assisted living, memory care (for residents with progressive dementia) and long-term care (formerly known as nursing-home care).

Neither option is cheap. Staying at home means retrofitting your home to prevent falls, relocating your washer/dryer, bathroom and bedroom on the main floor, and making it wheelchair-accessible with lowered counters, shelves, drawers and modified appliances.

The second option — moving — requires clear-eyed pragmatism. If you're under age 80 and physically and mentally agile, relocating to a smaller townhome, apartment or villa at a senior retirement community may look appealing.

But those communities may not offer all the levels of care required as you become less agile. That means another move, this time to a CCRC or to an independent facility exclusively offering memory care or long-term care for residents.

"Moving is stressful, especially for the elderly, and studies have shown that moving multiple times has physical and psychological impacts," said Penny Cook, executive director of the Colorado Culture Change Coalition, a watchdog organization dedicated to improving the state's elder-care communities.

"When I worked in a hospital, and elderly patients came in after a stroke or a fractured hip, many of them never got to say goodbye to their home before their children moved them. They never got to pack their own things. They never had closure. They were taken to a new environment where everything was different."

That's another reason for aging adults to school themselves in hardheaded thinking. Cook and other elder-care experts say that people do best when they can remain in the same area, at home or in a senior community, where they've spent their younger years.

"That's probably one of the most important things for quality of life: familiar surroundings, and a social life," Cook said.

"Your friends are still there. The neighborhood store where you shop is still there. The situations when adult children move their older parents out to be near them, those don't work out so well. For the parents, it's a foreign environment, and they're basically stuck."

"Loveland is interesting because it's one of the first cities, I believe, in the country that's a naturally occurring retirement community," Cook said.

"The Loveland Housing Authority is looking not only at the Mirasol campus, but at Loveland itself, and what sorts of services and components need to be in place to support the people who are already there."

Cathy Grimm believes Wind Crest, SAGE, Crestmoor Downs and Mirasol offer models for other senior communities and NORCs, especially in encouraging senior residents to be active in their neighborhoods.

"It's based on social engagement, with seniors running the program, telling us what they want and when they need it, truly having a guiding voice in what they do," Grimm said.

Making the decision

Thinking about whether to remain at home or make the move to a senior retirement community? Ask yourself these questions.

Do you or your partner have a chronic medical condition expected to get worse over time?

Do you need help with daily living activities (shopping, cleaning, cooking)?

Do you need help with personal care (bathing, toilet, medications, eating)?

To access shopping, medical facilities and other services, do you need to drive?

If you don't drive, is finding transportation time-consuming?

If you live at your longtime home, can it be easily modified to be walker- and wheelchair-friendly?

(Does your home have many steps? Staircases? A steep hill? A large yard? Are your laundry facilities, bathroom and bedroom both on the main floor? Could the kitchen cupboards and counters easily be used by someone in a wheelchair? What about the bathroom and shower or tub?)

Do you put off visiting friends and neighbors because of transportation complications?

Do you leave your home to run errands or to socialize more than once a week?

Can relatives or others living nearby consistently provide the amount of support you need for assistance with meals, transportation, errands, medical visits and medications?

Do you spend your day primarily in one or two rooms, with brief trips to the kitchen or bathroom?

If your answers are mostly "Yes," start looking at retirement communities, or begin getting estimates on remodeling projects that will make your home suitable for an aging resident.

Review your monthly budget, and break it down into what you spend on food, medical care, social activities (including health clubs, church and hobbies), transportation (gas, car maintenance or calculate time per trip as well as fare cost for public transit).

What to ask about senior living

Questions to ask when you're looking at senior living communities

How many levels of care are provided? If there is no memory care or long-term care on campus, how will you get help when you need more assistance?

How many homes or apartments are there on campus? How many are available at the moment?

If no residences are available, how much time might you spend on the waiting list?

When can you tour some of the spaces available?

Can the spaces be modified with built-in storage or other carpentry? Is that included in the original price?

Will you own the property, or lease it?

What are the visiting hours?

What's involved in the assessment process for new residents? Do new residents need to meet physical and cognitive standards?

What is the breakdown for services included in the monthly fee? Do fees rise? How often and by how much?

What are the contract options?

If I decide to leave, will my deposit be partly or fully refunded?

If this community goes bankrupt or is acquired by another owner, will my refundable deposit be affected?

Will Medicare, Medicaid or other long-term insurance help offset fees?

What happens when my spouse needs a higher level of care than I do?

What sort of social events and classes are offered for residents?

Are those events organized by the community staff, or by the residents?

At communities with more than one level of care, what health-care services are available at the different levels?

Is there an on-site pharmacy?

How are emergencies handled?

What is the staff hiring procedure? What credentials do staff members hold?

Are the residential spaces wired for cable, WiFi and telephone service?

Are pets allowed?

What are residents' parking options?

What meal programs are offered? Can residents make special requests? Ask to see a copy of a month's worth of menus.

Request a copy of the facility's audited financial statements. Compare the facility's days of cash on hand with that of similar facilities. Look at the facility's cash-to-debt ratio, and compare that to other facilities.

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