Foreign nurses and doctors who do earn enough to come then have to pay to use the NHS, even though they pay tax and NI like everyone else and actually work for the NHS. The day after, Patel reluctantly agrees to cut the requirement. It remains unclear as to whether repayments will be backdated. They appear not to apply to “essential workers” such as porters and ancillary staff.

George “Useless” Eustace who owns a fruit farm goes on TV to beg people to pick for Britain otherwise we’ll have no food. He launches the new website, “Pick for Britain“, which crashes within 3 minutes of opening.

Teachers get crucified by the press for not being prepared to die like NHS staff have done. Johnson starts to use the word “sacrifice” as a euphemism for people who die because they don’t have the proper equipment to do their jobs in safety.

Johnson manages to give a Knighthood to a dear old man on Thank A Teacher Day who walked round his garden to raise money for an NHS starved of cash for a decade and everyone cheers and ignores all the other stuff.

Boris Johnson offers a knighthood to Tom Moore to detract from thousands of people dying due to incompetence and a deliberate herd immunity policy.