In the 13th Century (we will have to do something about this AD thing, I donâ€™t like it, I donâ€™t like it at all) a young man re-discovered the noodle.

Remembering that the noodle, as a dish, came from China, it is only too obvious that it must have come to there from Indonesia.

Why, why oâ€™ learned one would you say that? You cry, or whinge, depending on how your assertiveness training is going.

The answer is simple:

Where do pirates come from?

Cardinal Queequeg would surely tell you that Indonesia (especially Java, howâ€™s the Pequod?) is still rife with them.

Where do midgets come from?

Who could argue with the recent finds of Hobbits in Indonesia (though they are obviously not that old).

So it becomes clear, human life was brought forth upon this planet in the shape of midget pirates. Race memory, or cookery books, can be blamed for the longevity of the noodle in popular cooking, it was, however, only when Marco Polo (after an epiphany involving char sui chow mein) re-discovered the noodle and brought it back to the culinary experts already responsible for the mighty pizza that we can, again, look upon the face of our lord every time we eat.