Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Dummies Guide for the Psychopathic Assisted Suicide (spoof)

Here is a work-in-progress for a spoof of assisted suicide. I started the first few chapters, but please feel free to add comments and suggestions.

Introduction

There are few instances where assisted suicide is an acceptable alternative to the Hippocratic Oath a doctor takes; to harm no individual. Given today’s hostile environment when it comes to assisted suicide, the intention of this guide is to provide the average individual a means to solicit and exploit the weaknesses many sociopaths exhibit while participating in their own personal anxieties.

Often the difficulty of finding a proper institutional setting for assisted suicide can be overcome with adequate planning. This guide will help you to find the best and most willing Psychopath for your immediate needs. Each chapter is a proven method to instigate even the most callous Psychopath into helping with the immediate need for suicide.

Chapter 1 - GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

Make fun of their verbal skills. Try to engage them in small talk and charm them with your wit. They will become a little annoyed and much easier to manipulate into helping with your problem.

Chapter 2 - GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH A grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

They will often become very upset if you out bragg them. Try various attempts to belittle them, mocking helps, and be more opinionated.

Chapter 3 - NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

Chapter 4 - PATHOLOGICAL LYING Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

Chapter 5 - CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESSThe use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

Chapter 6 - LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

Chapter 7 - SHALLOW AFFECT Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

Chapter 8 - CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

Chapter 9 - PARASITIC LIFESTYLEAn intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

Chapter 11 - PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIORA variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

Chapter 14 - IMPULSIVITY The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

Chapter 15 - IRRESPONSIBILITY Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

Chapter 16 - FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS A failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

Chapter 17 - MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPSA lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

Fellow Bloggers!

About Me

I writer horror, suspense, mysteries, and have written a number of humorous (off-the-wall) commentaries. I also wrote a few spoofs and am notorious for my sense of humor. I enjoy reading, editing, and critiquing other writers. Not in such a big hurry to get my work published. But someday I'll make that push.