Monday, February 27, 2012

I was going to make a quick reference sheet the other day
at work of images, and then, as I described it, I went back and put air quotes
around “Sheet” because let’s be honest, no one is ever going to print this out.

There is a guy at work that I just adore. He happens to be from Florida, so during
lunch, Kelly gave him the cute nick name of “Flo – Rida.” And, to emphasize this nick name, I used my
newly acquired photo shop skills.

When I got into work on Tuesday Morning:

Me: I *think* I had a dream last night that Tyler
came over to me and said, “First, you need to organize your Sharpies.”

Christy: Are you sure that wasn’t real life?

So I asked Tyler… and confirmed that this is actually what
my dreams have come to.

Kelly and I had a play date at my house yesterday to play
Halo in a safe environment in which no one would mock us. (I felt like I needed a bus pass for her to
come over.) Point of this story is, I am very bad at aiming, but I made up for
it with my sweet melee skillz. (I didn't teach her how to Melee until we stopped
playing). My cousin was laughing that we couldn't run, but we knew the names of
all the weapons and ships. You could
hear us saying, "Which button jumps?" in the same breath as, “Oooh
Imma shoot this Brute Minor with my Assault Rifle!”

Wednesday, I was at church for Ashes, when I’m walking down
the aisle and hear a whispered, “Tiffany! Tiffany!” Apparently, Shannon from Café Ladro was also
getting her ash on. I got home in time
to go to class with Dawne, only to find out that class was canceled. I promise you I wasted these extra 3 hours of
my life doing something completely useless.

Thursday morning I had breakfast with Becky where I learned
that she gave up being frustrated for Lent.
Good luck with that.

Thursday evening, I rounded up some friends to go to a
“Meet Up.” For those not in the know,
Meet Up is a site that holds various events, for various types of people that
you can join if you want to meet people.
The particular event we went to was at a bar near Pike Place Market and
had 200 people signed up to go. Before
the event, Kelly brought this guy Ed over to my desk and told me that he too,
was attending the meet up. A little
apprehensive, I asked him what it was all about/what it was like. He responded, “Have you ever been to a bar
before?” Oooookay then. If he is wondering why we mocked him for the
rest of the night… this is where the gauntlet was thrown. I asked if people were going to be socially
awkward because of the nature of the evening, he covertly looked over at the
play testers behind me. “Why are you
looking over there, Ed!?” And I had my
answer.

Ed: I’m going to the bathroom.

Rach: Number One, or Number Two?

Ed: What?

Rach: What?

At one point, I wanted to check out another bar and the
rest of the group followed us. This was
right after Rach found a book of stamps on the floor, and I proceeded to give
them out to people - but not to Ed, because they were for special people. When we arrived, Rach stood next to a chair
and said to Ed, “This chair isn't going to pull itself out.”

Ed also told us that while he was in the restroom, another
gentleman rubbed his elbow with is elbow while they were peeing.

Rach: Maybe he was just saying, “We’re all in this
together.”

Laina: Right before he announced, “SWORD FIGHT!!”

Rach ended up on the phone with Ed’s sister, and then
returned to tell us, “His name is EDWARD and he went to FORKS high school and
he is very pale.”

On our way of the bar a chick complimented me on my shirt.

Me: Thanks, my 6 year old nephew picked it out for me.

Chick: My niece always tells me I dress weird.

Rach: Well, she’s WRONG.

Kelly told me, “I had a serious conversation with
Andrew. I told him about the gravity
feeds.”

Laina, Rach, Kelly and I created the perfect system by
standing in a square in the middle of the room, then bringing people into the
circle and introducing those people to new people when we wanted to meet
additional people. I was very impressed
with us. In fact, Kelly and I gave us an
A+ for the evening (the + was for getting a girl into our car.) When I told Dawne that I made a new friend
that was a girl, she was very upset and explained that that was NOT my
goal. She should know how hard it is for
me not to make friends.

Saturday morning, I woke up and walked into Zach’s
room. He was watching a show called “The
Elephant Princess” that was the quality of a bad Disney Channel show. The story line was about a girl who is a
Princess in a magical land that she gets to by using a magical elephant. But in the real world, she’s just an ordinary
girl with a band. Zach said the best
part was that he couldn’t tell if they were in Australia or South Africa and he
also watched both seasons that were available.
I asked if he’d like the soundtrack for his birthday.

At Laina’s later that evening, we were told that she wanted
to fill one glass jar with wine corks, and one with beautiful origami. So we got started on that right away. I remember it being a lot easier in 3rd
grade. Here is what went into the jar
(That sailboat looking thing was supposed to be a vulture, but I got
distracted):

Sunday morning started out with a Skype conversation with
Kathi where she told us that she looked at her bank statement the other day and
she had received four euro’s in interest, but then was taxed 99 cents. Maybe she can get a coffee if she takes it
black.

Then Lucas was looking for something else to watch, and
said, “These are Top Pick’s for Zach, so you should like anything in this
category” then made a selection.

Meanwhile, we were getting ready to meet Rach at Guitar
Center to pick out her very first guitar.

Me: Lucas has a song he wants you to cover. It is tentatively called, “My nipples are
fine.”

Rach: Ok great! We
may need to work on the title, but I’ll address that later. For now, we’ve got a lot of work to do if I
want to strum out anything that remotely sounds like a song.

One’s innie. Ones
outie. Like I’m in a Mercedes while
driving an Audi.

My nipple be crazy, the other lazy. I’m tryina’ think here but it be hazy.

Have no fear, don’t let it abhor us. I’m getting’ old here, take it to the chorus.

My nipples are fine! They’re average and normal!

My nipples are fine! Just a little informal!

You get the idea.

Rach: I love it. I
love everything about it. And I take it back;
we don’t need to work on the title.
Also, I’d like to give Lucas a slow clap for incorporating the work abhor
into song lyrics.

We went to Guitar Center, where Lucas tried to explain to
Rach that it was like buying a car, and you didn’t want to buy something the
first time you walked into the dealership.
After a lot of debate, we finally went to lunch at Bucca di Beppo’s
where we explained that Lucas wasn’t really a vegetarian. He eats hotdogs, chicken nuggets, and bacon.

Lucas: So not very Jewish.
But I have curly hair and I’m circumcised!

Rach proceeded to go back and buy the Guitar, and if you
want a quick glimpse:

We also watched the Oscars.
I made a joke about kids not knowing who Billy Crystal was when he
hosted the Oscars, but still got upset with Lucas asked me twice who he
was. My favorite moment of the entire
show was when someone said Martin Scorsese and two ladies from Bridesmaids
yelled, “DRINK!” and pulled tiny bottles out of their dresses.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Monday morning, Liz, a former co-worker, posted that she
would be creating a Whitney Houston Pandora station and listening to it for 24
hours.

Me: UPDATE: After two hours of Whitney, Michael Jackson,
Luther Vandross, Boys II Men, Toni Braxton and Tina Turner, I finally had to
give a thumbs down to Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On. I guess what I'm
really saying is: I don't want any white people singing on my Whitney station.

Liz: End of day 1: I laughed, I nearly cried, I reminisced
and I danced. I'm exhausted from all the emotions but will start again
tomorrow.

Me: Day 2: Zero Crackers. Happy Valentine's Day!

Liz: Day 2: Heard "I will always love you" for
the first time early this morning, I can't believe it's taken so long. Still
haven't heard " I want to dance with somebody either". Too much
Mariah, not enough Whitney, I'm going to have to be more severe with my likes
and dislikes today.

Me: I'm not entirely sure Pandora knows the difference
between Toni Braxton and Whitney Houston. Racists. Serious Question: If they
had Dolly Parton singing "I will always love you" would you let it
slide?

this is VERY close to what it sounded like when *I* tried to sing it.

(Deb can confirm.)

At 7:30 on Tuesday morning, I received a very disappointed
message from my HS friend Stephanie, complaining about my lack of witty
facebook updates for Valentines’ day.
Mind you, I hadn’t looked at fb yet.
I did however, put some effort into it, but it still took 4 updates
until she finally deemed one to be “witty.”
Good thing she wasn’t my Valentine this year.

When I called my parent’s house, I wished my father a very
cheery Happy Valentine’s Day, to which he replied, “You don’t mean that.” I thought I DID mean it, but I had to look
back to last years “Reason’s why I’m not Bitter” to confirm, that I really did
mean it. Meanwhile, he told me that my
mother was busy making a meatloaf into the shape of a heart, which is nothing
short of adorable.

I went over to Dr. Rach’s on Tuesday night for a dinner
party. My co-worker, Christy thought the
dinner party meant that we were all going to make dinner together, but I
assured her that Rach would never expect me to help cook.

Me (watching Rach
drink a bottle of beer): Are you okay? You keep drinking out of the side of
your mouth.
Dr. Rach: I've had a minor stroke. (Spilling some beer on her very light brown
shirt) This shirt used to be white.Me: That's funny because it's something I would say.

Over a year ago, Matty bought part of a cow, brought it to
a butcher and then had copious amounts of meat that he stored in the fridge of
the Brown House. He then moved out, and
left this meat in the fridge. There
must have been a two week period in which no one went into the basement of the
brown house, and during that time, the fridge broke. Lucas told me that on Wednesday, he (who is
for all intents and purposes, a vegetarian) and his brother Zach had to clean
up the bloody, rotting carcass of a cow.
When it was all done, Zach didn’t quite make it up to the house before
vomiting outside on the stairs. As you
can imagine, they both stripped at the earliest moment to shower and was
swearing hours later that the stench was still lingering in their nostrils.

15 minutes later, Zach came down to the living room and
asked if I would get him some dinner (because he lost his lunch earlier.) While we were eating, he asked, “Did Lucas
tell you how we almost died today?” I
had only heard the rotting flesh story, so I was all ears. I’ll do my very best to recreate what
happened for you.

Lucas has been driving to practice for his driver’s exam,
mostly driving home from school (which requires you to go onto I-90). He was driving along, and Zach was on the
phone (I say this only b/c Zach was telling the story and admits that he and
Lucas still don’t fully understand how this story happened) when Lucas merged
into the next lane. (In Luke’s defense,
I am guessing this happened on the part of 90 that I hate because in the same
two exit lanes of 90 are also being used by the traffic exiting 405 onto 90 so
I’m surprised more accidents don’t happen.)
Anyway, either Luke looked failed to actually turn his head, or this guy
was in his blind spot and before anyone knew it, the other car was coming at
him, crossed in front of Luke’s car, and spun 180 degrees across 4 lanes. No one was hurt, no accident occurred and
Lucas kept driving. Here’s my interpretation:

I thought about finding a car chase from Gone in 60 Seconds
or The Fast and the Furious, but a post-it note works too. Either way, after these two stories, I had a
really hard time complaining about Casper chewing up 4 pairs of my heels – not
an IMPOSSIBLE time mind you. I just told
the heel story first.

Becky: So, I had to take the bus on Wednesday, and my
driver totally reminded me of you. He
says, "Do you mind if I ask you a question? If tomatoes are classified as a fruit, does
that make ketchup a smoothie?" LOL

I said yes, because in PGH we practically drink the stuff.

Speaking of Pittsburgh, we were watching a movie the other
day and the mom asks the kid if she realizes why she loves Pirates baseball
team, and before the kid can say because you were born in PGH, Lucas
interjected with, “Because you’re a Pirate and you steal my soul.” In this same movie I had to explain to Zach
and Lucas that not everyone with a mustache is Tom Selleck, and not everyone
with curly hair is Keri Russell.

Kelly: Okay, I went out with this guy last night and, this
might sound a little nerdy. He told me
that his birthday was in June and I said, “Oh Yay! That’s the end of the Fiscal Year!”

Friday at lunch, we started speculating on what actor would
play Master Chief if there was ever a movie.
The candidates included a young Harrison Ford or young Tom Selleck
(clearly, this isn’t for a real movie.)
This is how the conversations progressed:

Young Harrison Ford, Young Mel Gibson, Will Smith, Tom Welling, (Yes, those last two
were mine), Channing Tatum, Clive Owen, then one of the guys on the thread Angel said
that the search could stop right there and sent a picture of himself (as long
as no one put him next to the other candidates.) Naturally, I sent this next:

Then someone asked about who would play Cortana. Angel sent a picture of Smurfette, and I
seconded it with:

Friday evening I went to a charity event in which I might
have complained about winning only one prize even though, with only ten prizes
total, three prizes went to people at our table. We tried to get out of listening to the
speeches, but after failing, Becky and I grabbed drinks (in which I needed
Becky to assure me that my work from 4 years ago does have value even though
the company doesn’t think so, in case anyone was wondering what level of
constant reassurance I need.) Also, the peach sangria and the matador is
amaze-balls. While I was out with Becky,
Zach called me 5 times and when he couldn’t reach me, called Dr. Rach (I wasn’t
home, calling Rach was a good guess).
Nala (the 3 pounder) was missing.
Zach said his voice was still hoarse the next morning from yelling so much
looking for her.) Finally, Zach’s panic
took a brief pause as he sat down with Casper to think about where she might
have gone. Ten minutes later, on HER
schedule, Zach told me that “she came sauntering in (like nothing was amiss);
that bitch.” It’s hard to get mad at her
though, because then you look at her and she gives you that, “What? I’m not
late, I’m cute,” look.

Saturday, I did some more organizing in my room. Zach was keeping me company, so when I found
bright red lipstick and put it on, he was quick to tell me that I looked like a
Toddlers and Tiaras contestant.
Saturday night a bunch of Zach’s friends came over and someone mentioned
watching a movie in the theater. Zach
said the theater was on the other side of the house, so one of the kids walked
from one side of the fireplace to the other, saw the three chairs, a couch and
TV and asked, “Oh, is this the theater?” And, despite the fact that there is an
18 person theater upstairs, Zach, replied, “Yup. This is it.”
Mind you, when he told my friends and I the story the next day we
thought this was super funny, he still never cleared up the misunderstanding
with his friends. I guess the next time
they are over he can just say it’s a new development in the house?

While Zach was “pulling one over” on his friends, I was out
with Dr. Rach, her roommate Kyle, and his firefighter friend. We grabbed some drinks and then headed over
to see Underworld: Awakening. (I wish I could say that I didn’t love it, but I
can’t. It was as awesome as the other films in the series.) I’m a lil jumpy, so there were a lot of
startled scream/jumps when I watched this epic tale. When we finished watching, I announced, “I
got scared a couple times.” In case those around me missed my “subtle”
fear.

On the way back from the theater, I asked Kyle to drive with me so
that I wouldn’t get lost. If you’ve ever
driven with me, you have probably wanted to comment about my performance. Kyle, however, was so polite about it, that I
almost didn’t notice. I mean, I totally
did, but almost. He started out with,
“Oh, you like to sit close to the steering wheel.” Followed by, “The speed limit on the exit is
25 but you could probably get away with 35 or 40.” And also, “I like how
cautious you are with going to the first line at the light instead of the
second.” (Later we saw a cab practically
in the middle of the road and I commented that he didn’t respect the first or
second line of the stop light.) Meanwhile, Rach was in the car with the
firefighter, and he was commenting how he had never hung out with girls who
genuinely liked Sci-Fi. I asked Rach if
she had responded with, “Well, I’ve never hung out with a guy who has read
Twilight, Sookie Stackhouse AND Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” Because I would have – though probably best
that I didn’t because then I would have followed that statement with, “And that
might be the hottest thing I’ve ever heard a guy say.”

We were back to Rach and Kyle’s for a moment, when the firefighter
got hungry and said, “I ate one of your frosted covered animal crackers. Don’t worry.
I ate it head first so it didn’t suffer.” Then we grabbed something to eat, and headed
over to another bar to play darts. I
think Sean would have been proud of my performance for the first half (I was
cleaning up) but then then ultimately lost because, for the life of me, I could
not get the last bulls eye. I’m much
better on a team.

Sunday, Rach, Shana, and Laina came over – we went to the dog park,
got pedi’s and then ate some dinner and thought about watching a movie. I find that when people come over, deciding
on a movie is the hardest part. Zach and
I put out some suggestions into the universe, but ultimately tried to get them
to watch Lesbian Vampire Killers – I don’t know why there was a sudden mass exodus
at that point. I’m sure it wasn’t
related.

Last week, I got to talk to my dad again in the morning. He told me that the boys were home from
school so if he started yelling, “Kevin!” it was not because he had a sudden
case of Tourette’s. Then the boys were
suddenly sitting on the couch, each with a book. Frita then proceeded to mock the fact that
Kevin, the 8 year old, was re-learning the Alphabet, Patrick, 9 was studying a
pop-up book, and Kyle, 6 was upset because he wasn’t allowed to take the
dictionary OR the encyclopedia on the trip with them.

Monday, February 13, 2012

First thing I did
when I got into work this morning was take my Miss Piggy mug down to the
kitchen to wash it and fill it with delicious coffee. As the freshly brewed coffee dispersed into my
cup, I saw a disproportionate amount of bubbles (rather than the bit of foam
that sometimes occurs) indicating that I didn’t fully rinse the soap from my
cup. An hour later, I haven’t drunk the
coffee, but I haven’t gone downstairs to rectify the situation either. In case anyone was wondering how this week
was going to go…

Do you remember
those “Double Check” pictures in Highlights magazine when you would look
between two pictures and try to figure out what was different? That’s what I did at work all last week only
I was being a lot more judgmental as I was doing it. I had no idea highlights magazine would have
such a direct correlation or so effectively prepare me for my real world
career. The only way I could have made
things more interesting would have been if I had stared at the first image for
60 seconds then tried to write down the differences from memory. While
certainly more interesting, I’m not sure if my partners would have appreciated
the results.

The same partner
owns their own factory, and my co-worker was feeling very jealous about someone
owning their own Toy Factory. I sent
them an image for the Play-doh “Fun Factory” because my image search results
for Toy Factory were seriously not work-appropriate. Not having your own Toy Factory is sad, but
the fact that my co-worker never had a Play-doh Fun Factory made me feel
genuinely bad for him.

Ooh! I made Brookies
and Erika’s Hot Heaven for 13 of my co-workers.
Baking for an occasion isn’t as appreciated as random sweets on a
Wednesday. The night before I went
grocery shopping with Zach and he couldn’t wait to leave. There was so much pressure that I walked out
of the store with the baked good supplies, protein bars, cereal and some
juice. This would be considered
successful if our house wasn’t completely void of food. This is why we had to order Dominos at 11 am
on a Saturday btw.

Last week I dragged
some ladies at work to some very girlie girl stores in downtown Kirkland. On our way back we grabbed some subway and whilst
consuming our sandwiches, I was telling them about Lucas making his lunch the
night before. (He decided to pull out a
lunch box to bring it into school. The
lunch box he found was a Donald Duck container he got at Tokyo Disneyland that
I should have taken a picture of because it’s awesome.) The discussion
progressed to the lineage of Donald, Scrooge, and Huey, Duey and Louie. I thought it was a fabulous conversation, but
by the time I started breaking out the Mallard family tree, I had completely
lost Christy. It happens.

On Wednesday Dawne
and I played hooky from our story writing class. Instead, we had dinner with this guy who
Dawne thought was a potential match (which was a good enough reason as any to
skip class). His good attributes were
that he was a lot like Derek in that he was excellent at starting and
participating in conversations, was very curious about life, genuinely wanted
to know more about every subject, and as a result of this lifelong pursuit of
knowledge knew a wide variety of information.
On the downside (and unlike Derek) he was extremely pretentious. Lucas also got the same vibe, which is
probably why he started saying things like “You know that guy with the chopping
of the tree (George Washington) and the guy with kite thing (Ben Franklin)”
which he absolutely knew. And the guy
responded with, “And THIS is the result of the US educational system
folks.” When I was talking this over
with Zach later, he was like, “Yeah. I
knew you’d think he was pretentious.” Am
I that predictable?

My weekend was
pretty chill - hung out with Rach and BDug, hit up the dog park, made a trip
down to IKEA.

Me: Guess where
we’re going!?

Lucas: Home?

Zach: No. We’re going to your favorite place.

Lucas: Guitar
Center? Triple X? ChuckeCheese? Paint the town?

We went back and
forth like this for quite a while before he guessed that we were only ten
minutes from IKEA. While it was awesome
to have two boys to help carry things, I felt a lil rushed on the decision
making process and ended up with two pieces of furniture. When I got home, I had no idea if they would
work or if they were what I wanted, but they were the right color. That’s good logic right? I spent a good chunk of the weekend between
watching Breaking Bad and building/organizing.
I’m feeling pretty good about it – and I didn’t even need to call Diana,
organizer extraordinaire to help. : )

Shana: On my iPhone
the facebook app sometimes swaps people's profile pics. Because of habit I look to the profile pic to
see who people are instead of their name. I saw BDug's pic with the status: I'm
just incredibly grateful for the life I have and the people in it. ♥ I also noticed 2 people commented. Those comments were: Sean P--- “You are
absolutely amazing. ♥ “ and Jesse J--- “Yeah! I'm glad you’re in my life, and
that I get to sit next to you!” I was about to hit send on: Riiiiight, you're
incredibly grateful for the bottle in your hand and the 11 empties on the floor
when I thought for a moment “Why would BDug say such a thing and who are these
people commenting and why aren’t they being snarky?” Then I decide to look at
the name and it's from a chick I work with.
I shook my fist at fb for fooling me.
damn glitch!!

See… I try not to
comment on those updated because no matter what I want to say, it will
immediately sound horrendous compared to the supportive, loving messages from
those other genuine friends. *sigh*

Shana: I’m watching
The River and waiting for DinoCroc to show up.
S-Dawg will put his name on anything these days.

Zach: You gotta sell
out sometime in your career – that’s the whole point of being successful.

(I guess I should
mention I started calling Spielberg “S-Dawg” after Jordan said he was at
“Steven’s house” one day. I thought if
the whole house referred to him as “S-Dawg” Jordan would slip up and call him
that and hilarity would ensue. Way to
remember that Shana Dueux!)

And finally, Zach (looking at Nala): It’s always surprising that she can move on her own.

Monday, February 6, 2012

My boss was telling me how awesome the new Starbucks
“Blonde” roast is. I asked her if she
ordered a “Grand-AY Blond-AY” (Grande, Blonde).
She looked like I was crazy, but I think it’s crazy that she DIDN’T
think about that, so there. Later that day, Kelly and I went to get some
coffee and we were offered free Blonde coffee (grounds not made drinks)
samples. Kelly took around 8 and shoved
them in her purse, then turned to me and said, “I don’t even own a coffee
maker.”

As I mentioned, I’m taking a story writing class. I felt a lot of pressure to write something
last week, so I cheated and wrote a true story about my nephew Patrick. It was read to the class, and when it came to
feedback time, not only did no one suspect that it was true, they told me that
a) 9 year olds don’t go through things like this, b) No 9 year old would act so
maturely after only one night’s sleep to deal with the situation c) This “Aunt”
character – how old is she? 12? Adults
do NOT talk like that (confirming why my nephews think I’m not really an
adult.)

My friend was having a text fight with a friend back home
last week in which I ended up ghost writing a lot of her responses. In one instance, the chick was complaining
that her feelings weren’t being validated.
I suggested that she respond with, “Validated” and see if that
works. I quickly told her I was kidding
because that response is never sufficient or appropriate. (People of the world: if you are fighting via
text or email, be prepared that everything you say can be shared with someone
else. I’m of the opinion that group
responses tend to be more rational and well thought out, but you do take your
chances.)

Nala, the 3 ½ pound Yorkie, has been around for nearly 2
years now, and every time Zach sees her, he laughs as he say’s “Nala” as if he
is surprised she still looks as funny as she does. Then we went to the park yesterday and at
least 4 people laughed at the said, “That little dog.” Validated.
(Wait, no, I guess it does work sometimes.)

Kelly: I spent all day yesterday thinking it was April
fool’s Day.

Me: February 2nd?

Kelly: I get it. I
was wrong.

I can’t remember if I mentioned this story, but last year I
learned that Becky had made a deal with her husband when they got married that
if they didn’t learn how to tango before their 10th anniversary,
they were getting a divorce. I gave them
an out by suggesting that instead of a divorce, her husband could simply opt to
change his name to “Jared Notango.” (I’m a problem solver.) Given that they are coming up on the ten
year mark this year, Becky called to sign up for lessons with a steamy sounding
instructor (actually, maybe that’s not how the story went. Becky and I get up so early to have
breakfast, that I’m often not fully functioning until after the breakfast is
over.) Point of this story: Becky got off the phone and told her husband
he was either taking these lessons or he should be getting ready to officially
become “Jared Notango.” And I just love
that she remembered a reference from a year ago.

Met up with Rach again on Thursday. Our new thing is to sit at the bar instead of
a table because it’s ten time more fun.
We were chatting about dragons, and the gentleman next to us started to
teach us all the intricate details about Dragons, including showing us an
inaccurate dragon on his calf. (I only knew it was inaccurate b/c he just told
me all about dragons and I only told him it was inaccurate b/c I wanted him to
know that I was paying attention.) He then broached the topic that dragons
might be real, and I think he was surprised when both Rach and I were in total
agreement. This led to us explaining
that aliens are also probably real, which led to this statement:

My whole world universe is based on that movie – Dr. Rach
on MIB

Upon walking down to the lower driveway and finding Lucas
with a lot of random bits of lumber, a drill and skate boards about:

Me: What’s your end goal here?

Lucas: To have fun.

Me: Fair enough (and I walked back to the house.)

I taped the super bowl yesterday and then just fast forwarded through the game to watch the commercials

BTW I thought the Chevy commercial won.

When I pressed play while the game was on:

Jordan: Oh no! Did we catch up to real time?

Me: No, I just wanted to watch the last 9 seconds of the
game.

Jordan: *SIGH* Fine.

Half way through the game, Lucas made some pasta, and
shoved a lot into his mouth quickly.

Lucas: I really don’t feel well.

Me: Just a suggestion, maybe next time you should chew your
food before you swallow it.

When the game was over, my phone began to ring. It was Erika, so I got worried she was going
to ask me about the game, but happily, I was wrong.

Erika: I just finished watching the last Twilight Movie
where Bella drinks blood from a cup. I
can’t BELIEVE there isn’t a warning label – no I can’t believe YOU didn’t warn
me about this movie. What about people
like me who pass out from the thought or sight of blood!? It’s outrageous that
there isn’t a more explicit warning!

Me: Let me get this straight, you’re outraged, on the verge
of suing, because they didn’t warn you that a VAMPIRE movie would have someone
drinking BLOOD. Yea, I am so sorry about
that. For the future, Zombie movies will
probably have zombies eating flesh and brains.

Erika: NOT OUT OF A TAKE OUT CONTAINER!!

Me: So the problem with Hannibal Lector eating liver with a
side of fava beans is the seasoning?

Erika: Basically, yes.

I think I’ll share a work story. I don’t know if I mentioned that when we
moved to this building, I asked my boss to warn people about my laugh. Mostly, I was worried that by sitting
upstairs on the “balcony” area, in a building with new windows but lots of
concrete, that my laugh would travel up and then bounce off the ceiling and
then be shared with the whole studio. I
don’t think my boss warned anyone, but I haven’t received any complaints
yet. (Maybe no one up here is
funny?) Point is, I am up a flight of stairs, so I called
my pregnant co-worker downstairs.

Me: Hi!

C: Where are you?

Me: Upstairs.

C: Oh I thought you were offsite because you were using the
phone.

Me: Nope. I was just
calling to ask you if you would bring me up a coca-cola zero.

C: What?

Me: Just kidding.
I’m calling you to ask you to respond to my email. (I’m not sure if that’s better.)

C: Okay. Will
do.

5 Minutes later, Corrinne walked upstairs to my desk.

Me: Where’s my coca-cola zero?

C: Oh no! I forgot.
I just wanted to come up here to see if my email was the response you
needed.

Me: Now, I feel bad that I made a pregnant person walk up a
flight of stairs.

Me: its important you stop after the first video that I
sent Also, I just realized I sent you
an internet link to check out about not being able to check the internet

Other than that, it was a gorgeous weekend. The dog park was crazy busy. I met up with Becky and Jared (she was
meeting her boss at the park, and I brought two dogs so she looked like she
belonged. ) I overheard a guy answer the phone and say, “I’m at a dog park.
There are literally THOUSANDS of dogs running around without leashes. I have never in all my life seen anything
like it. It’s incredible.” See Sean? It’s not weird that on your one day
in Seattle I took you to the dog park.
:P

Oh! In case you didn’t see it last week:

And, Okay Diana and Erika, I just requested an invitation to Pinterest. I don’t know if I have time in my life to be
addicted to another site… but for you? Anything.