Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Talking cats and an entrance to Hell

On Monday night I had the most amazing dream, which really should have been a nightmare but wasn't. Instead of waking up afraid I woke up naturally (which I rarely do - I either get startled awake by my upstairs hoovering-neighbour or by my alarm) and felt completely at ease. And here's what I dreamt:

I was myself but I didn't look like myself (one of those dream quirks) and I was living in a huge old house on a secluded farm in what felt like rural America. I lived with two old women that reminded me a lot of Hilda and Zelda from 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch' and my husband, whom I'd never met in my (real) life before.

We lived a nice life that was full of baking cakes, running through the fields, playing with the pet cat and dog and generally being happy. That was until we heard that people had started disappearing from the town. We were a bit worried about it but assumed they'd turn up eventually. Curiously, the people that had vanished were the ones that were most likely to cause trouble, such as those with political views that went against the grain and such.

A few weeks went by and more and more people went missing. Eventually we started to get worried so we went into town to see if we could get the goss and find out what was happening. Once we arrived we noticed a big gathering in the square and came to realise that people were vanishing because some crazy psycho lady and her posse were making them disappear. They had somehow managed to find an entrance to hell and were throwing people down it when they disagreed with the main lady's rules for running the town.

The entrance was located in a tiny little disused shack and when the door was opened there was a burning red hole in the ground which, quite obviously, didn't go anywhere pleasant. When we happened upon the group they were in the final throws of a witch hunt for two or three people that we happened to know, so we tried to intervene. This just led to us being completely overpowered and thrown in the pit with our friends though.

When we were thrown in it was very much like Alice going through the looking glass, in that we all tumbled about and went through various levels. Eventually I landed on my feet in a big room and thought I was alone until I noticed my cat (who was actually my real cat Jack in the dream) who looked at me and said 'Oh, you made it.'

He explained to me, much to his annoyance, that because I'd been sent to hell he had to come with me, but that the upside was that animals could talk in hell. We went out of the room and found it was in a huge house, so we wandered about until we found everyone. We eventually came across everyone that the crazy lady had ever thrown into hell, along with all of the pets that had been forced to come along with them.

As time went by we realised we were actually happier in hell than we were in the real world, because we were altogether, our pets could talk to us and there wasn't any crazy lady. I also remember that you didn't need to eat, drink or do anything other than what you wanted to do there, so we just hung around talking for the most part.

Every now and then another person would arrive, which we greeted with mixed emotions because we were happy to have them there but were upset because we knew they'd be confused about it all at first. Once more and more people arrived we started holding meetings and, as a result, decided to stage a coup, rise back to the real world and bring everyone we loved down to hell before the crazy lady could throw them down, then seal off the entrance so she could never join us and would be stuck in the horrible part of the universe with her nasty posse forever and ever.