But the thing is, ang relationship ever ba ay nakadepende sa swete o malas? A relationship is between two people, them and only them are the ones who can maneuver their relationship to the good side or the bad side. Pero sabihin na nga nating ang mga magkarelasyon ay trulagen colagen sustagen ngang nagmamahalan to the highest level . . . . Baket meron pa reng sumesemplang?

"Hay nako girl, if ever na matatakot ako sana noon pang nagsisimula pa lang kami. We cannot make alis naman the fear noh. It's always there. We are always afraid. If we are walang jowa, we are afraid. If we have jowa, we are afraid din. It's up to us na lang to make sugal ourselves. Risk mama! Risk! Relationships are all about risks. The risk of being over-in-loved. The risk of falling out of love. The risk of getting hurt."

Lumapit ako kay KC and Cindy to get their cue cards and to congratulate them for a job well done. Nag-thank-you din naman sila sa 'ken for being the friendliest and most accommodating production manager they ever worked with. Ohhhh! Title ako da 'vah? Pa'no ba naman akez witchelles magiging friendliest at most accommodating eh witchelles ko hinahayaang mawalang ng beranggju at tequila sa gilid ng entablado.

At ang talak ni Papa KC sa 'ken, "You have nice shoulders . . . ."

Aba! Aba! Aba! Naman da 'vah?

Witchelles naman siguro enough yon para magkaroon akez ng hydrocephalus at para lumobo ang ulo kez but then, I totally appreciated the comment. My gawd! How many times in your life will you encounter a KC Montero and compliment a part of your body, even if it is just the . . . . shoulders?

Anyway, para lang witchelles kayo mahiwagaan kung paano nakita ni KC ang shoulders ko eh simple lang naman, I'm wearing a shirt, courtesy of ESPRIT, then, it has a diagonal zipper from the collar bone to the right above kili-kili portion so that when you unzip it . . . . viola!!!!! Your shoulder is exposed. And I never regretted exposing my shoulder that evening.

Parating meron tayong gustong patunayan . . . . sa ibang tao. Witchelles tayey nakukuntento sa kung ano ang meron tayo at sa kung ano ang kaya naten. There are always, castles being built in the air, there always are people running after their illusions, who can't seem to settle for what's at hand and what is feasible.

And sometimes, when we are already on a certain level, we forget to look back or look down from where we came from. Yes, sometimes, we look down, but we look down literally at those people, whom we think are below us.

Do those things make a SUPAHSTAR?

But in my own opinion, we are all SUPAHSTARS in our own right. We are just too preoccupied to notice it.

I am a SUPAHSTAR for being very good at my job, for being a brother, for being a good friend . . and for simply being me. (Let's not forget . . . for having nice shoulders!)

Rica is a SUPAHSTAR for being unafraid to take sides, for being outspoken, for being cheerful at all times.

Claude is a SUPAHSTAR for standing for what he believes in, even though he is standing alone, for being deviant, extraordinary, philosophical, practical and logical.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I was in a Star Cinema conference room, sitting across me is a writer, honestly, his name, I haven't heard before, in my left is Olivia Lamasan, a cup of coffee in one hand and a menthol cigarette on the other, one member of the creative team is also with us. I have been invited to be a subject for a story that is still being brewed.

Finally, the other writer that we were waiting for stepped in. She is carrying a huge shoulder bag, and a broad sheet. She apologized and immediately sat beside the other writer. She opened the news paper, looking for something . . . . . then she said, "It's here, we won!"

That was the first time I heard the name MAXIMO OLIVEROS.

Little did I know, that the writers who were there are one of those who are responsible for an indie film, which started small but later would be considered as one of the best films of the year.

From that day onwards, I have been lusting to see ANG PAGDADALAGA NI MAXIMO OLIVEROS but due to my entangled schedules, it was deemed near to impossible. My desperation intensified as accolades from left and right were thrown at the film and how it swept awards from international film festivals.

Yesterday, while still furious and mourning due to the loss of my beloved TAPPY (even though ancient, my IBM ThinkPad is my best buddy for the past years) I opened my email in the office, overflowing with emails of people looking for me and endless follow-ups. Suddenly I felt as if I just ressurected from the dead because it is not only TAPPY, which got lost (or stolen) but also SIXSIE, my 6600. They were together in one bag as we wait for our plane to Manila in Davao Aiport. Next thing I knew, it was no longer there where I left it.

Anyway, whining aside, one email stood out from my inbox with the subject "fan of baddinggerzie/favor to ask". I froze on my seat with delight and excitement . . . . "Shet! Heto na siya!!!!"

you are invited to the movie's premiere night tonight, tuesday, november 29,7:00 p.m. at sm megamall cinema 2

And the movie that he is talking about is none other than, "ANG PAGDADALAGA NI MAXIMO OLIVEROS"

Unfortunately, I opened that email a day late and I wasn't able to go to the premiere night. But I immediately closed my computer, got my things and told Becky that I am going to see a movie that made me salivate like a mad dog with rabies for the past months. I won't let the day pass without seeing a "legend" in the making.

At around 9, I was in front of the ticket booth in Gateway Cineplex.

"PAGDADALAGA po," I told the ticket lady.

As the movie opened with an "estero", I prepared myself for total bliss, with college girls giggling on my left and stiff dykes on my right.

Until now, I'm speechless. I'm still carrying the same surreal feeling I have last night while incessantly applauding as the credits rolled out in the end.

Technically, it was not a "gay" film, and as Howie Severino puts it, "what I saw were characters who happened to be gay in a work of art that told the truth about our society."

The film cracked my hard shell, developed through time and experiences (mostly bad). It made me go back and feel the raw emotions of first love, of how pure and innocent it was. It ignites a different "kilig" feeling, not the same "kilig" feeling as you see Judy Ann Santos asking for extra rice as she daydreams of Piolo Pascual, it is not the same "kilig" feeling as you see Meg Ryan going through the barriers of time just to be with Hugh Jackman. Those are artifical "kilig" feelings brought about by goodlooking actors exchanging sugar coated lines. APMO extracts not these but the reality that we have long-forgotten. It is like looking at ourselves in the mirror, not that all of us were fond of "puki" shorts and hair clips when we were on our teens . . . . but looking through the eyes of Maxi, as he cooks dinner for his father and kuyas and as he peaks at the hunky police officer, Kuya Victor, while putting on his undies, makes you go "oowwwww ang sweet" and tili to the maximum level like a love-deprived bitch.

I was glued on my seat, my eyes are keen for every detail, my ears filtering every word spoken:

Maxi and Victor are seated side by side one afternoon. Maxi is helping Kuya Victor shine his shoes . . . . . without "keme" and with the super-pagirl smile Maxi asks:

Then, there was the first kiss, stolen by Maxi, while Victor was eating lunch cooked by the infatuated teen. Then, Victor said something out of surprise and flattery but I wasn't able to get it because the entire cinema was rowdy and there was an earsplitting noise. I've neither seen nor heard a crowd being so "kilig" before. And to think of that it was a mixed crowd, girls, boys, fathers, mothers etc.

After all the hearts being engulfed in pleasure, the resentment emanated in the cinema as Maxi began to stand between his family that loves him the most and the hunky policeman, investigating a murder. Maxi knew the killer, it was his eldest brother, KUYA BOY. The blood-stained shirt that he washed told it all.

There was the dilemma; will Maxi tell the love of his life that it is his Kuya Boy they're looking for or will he protect his family of crooks?

I really have so much to tell about this movie and I will not be able to say it all in one sitting.

One more thing though, I have noted that the audience applauded like more than ten times in between scenes plus the earsplitting noises that I was talking about earlier. At the end, people were all standing, clapping, while credits are rolling out and did not leave until they were able to see the names of the people who brought this movie to life.

On my home, I said to myslef: SHET! PARANG GUSTO KONG MAGDALAGA ULET?!