Bring sophistication back: Things women just don't do anymore, but should

Over time many women have gotten away from the elegance and sophistication the majority possessed in earlier decades. Will history ever repeat itself?

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Everything changes with time. Trends come and go, but there are some things that proved to be successful in the past that we just don't see anymore these days. In just a decade's time, respect has declined drastically. The appreciation of what a woman is supposed to represent is no longer valued, and in turn has caused many women not to behave in respectful, ladylike ways as the majority used to. Somewhere throughout time many women stopped understanding just how significant they are, and how we should handle ourselves to represent that. Here are a few things that the majority of women are no longer doing, but probably should.

Dressing conservatively. There once was a time when seeing a woman's ankles or knees was the closest thing to seeing her naked. Day fashion was much less revealing, yet women still found ways to look sophisticated and sexy. Shorts were not cut to show cheeks, as many wear up-to-there shorts today, and not just on the beach. Dresses were stylish in all lengths. Bodycon mini dresses and super slits were few, and women still received attention for their beauty. No one is saying that you have to wear sweaters in the summer time, and pants to the beach. However, you can't blame men for approaching you sexually or in rude, disrespectful ways when you are dressing in a way that shows you hardly respect yourself.

Relationships were more private. When people got into relationships years back (not too long ago), you didn't hear about every little thing they enjoyed or argued about unless you were a close friend or family member. When couples fought, they didn't put ads in the newspaper, or go stand in the middle of downtown to yell out their woes. This may very well be one of the main reasons that dating back then was more valued and long lasting (for the right reasons). Today, any move couples make includes them posting a picture or putting a status update about it. Any meal you eat or cook is photographed for others to either drool (or gag) over. Any argument is followed up with negative relationship memes and quotes, with the hope of being subliminal enough that people would assume that you just happened to come across it, but that it doesn't apply to you. Relationships work better when the world is not involved. Even positive attention can begin to affect couples in a negative way, especially when one or both in the relationship thrive off of the attention more than the relationship itself. The same goes for dating. If you are finding yourself dating man after man with nothing working out, don't go cry online. Take time to evaluate where things are going wrong privately.

Woman to woman was the thing to do. "Hello Barbara? This is Shirley...." One of the most classic R&B intros from back in the day begins with a woman calling another woman to have a discussion about their love triangle. While this doesn't always work well, the point was to bring attention to the fact that she picked up the phone and actually called the other woman. Women used to handle issues privately, and go straight to the source in most cases. They would either talk with the person that was rubbing them the wrong way, or just ignore it and move on. This is a far cry from how many women handle their issues today. These days many women will skip completely over reasoning with someone they are having issues with, and take it directly to the internet to post rude, negative, and sometimes downright nasty messages about the person. Then there are those that go the subliminal route and post a "general" status, knowing that they meant to rub one person the wrong way with the message, and find themselves in a back and forth subliminal war. This is all being done while pretending to be the victim. The best way to handle an issue with someone is to talk to that person. They may not even know what they're doing is bothering you. If they do know, it's possible they don't know how serious the situation is. If someone is rattling you, don't make yourself look silly by addressing them in front of an audience, whether directly or indirectly. Have enough sophistication and maturity to speak with that person privately. Every popular social network has a private form of messaging, and mostly everyone has a phone, email, or some form of communication. You don't look cool during confrontation and "e-thugging". It makes you look petty, unhappy, and unladylike.

Courting was a must. A man used to show he was interested in more ways than one. Courting was extremely popular when many of our parents and grandparents were growing up, and men proved they were worthy suitors. They took women on dates, and got to know the woman's parents in order to ask to date. Sure, sex was going on, but it wasn't in our faces every 5 seconds. These days, sex is often a prerequisite for many to even consider getting into a relationship. A lot of men won't look your way longer than a few days or weeks if they think that you won't be willing to get into bed with them. This is quite a huge difference from the respectful men that worked for their woman's approval back in the day. Men these days don't have to work as hard to date. Why? Because there are many women who aren't demanding respect and courting. These days there are just as many women out there willing to sleep around and have multiple partners as there are men, and men know that what one girl won't allow there are 10 more that will let him treat them however he wants. If we as women begin to demand respect again in large numbers, we could potentially change the dating game. The more women stop rewarding disrespect and allowing themselves to be convenient bed buddies, the more men will start to realize that they have to switch up how they approach women. We may not be able to change all men that behave in this way, but we can try by changing up what we allow into our lives and bodies.

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Karlicia Lewis, author of "Stop Saying Yes to Mr. No Good", is a wearer of many hats. Although she heads clothing company Couture Reign as CEO, she also is a mother of one, student, mental health counselor, and writer. She pens the blog "There's no Crying in Love", as well as other blogs, including fashion related sites, such as her column as the Fashion Examiner. With two relationship self-help books in the making, She is the go-to woman for encouragement, wisdom, relationship advice, and how to survive as the single woman. Karlicia seeks to empower women worldwide through her words, experiences, and insight into relationships,as well as life without them. To contact Karlicia, email her at AskKarlicia@yahoo.com. www.AuthorKarliciaLewis.com