How to Get Your Groom Involved in Wedding Planning

Maybe you're marrying a guy who's as psyched as you are about throwing a wedding. More likely, your groom-to-be isn't so into bouquets and bridesmaid dresses. Here's how to up his efforts in wedding planning:

I'm kind of obsessed with flowers; Paul couldn't care less about them. But he's into music, so he made a perfect planning partner for ceremony and reception songs and wedding video songs.

Find out what he doesn't like.

I was surprised to learn that Paul had some strong opinions on the stamps we put on our wedding invitations. So before you go out and choose something on your own because you don't think your guy wants a say, check with him. He may give you the go-ahead to get whatever you want, or he may shock you and say, "I only want stamps with hearts on them."

Narrow down his choices.

This is a trick I learned as a preschool teacher (and let's face it--sometimes fiances can act like preschoolers): Give your groom two or three choices instead of an overwhelming number. For instance, unless he's into design, you may want to take charge on whittling down your color scheme options. So instead of saying, "What should our signature colors be?" you could ask, "Which do you prefer: lavender and gray or hot pink and teal?"

Speak his language.

Using phrases he may not know, like escort cards and nosegays, can cause him to shut down. Even though you're well versed in wedding lingo, talk in terms he understands (like cards with guests' names and table numbers on them and smaller groups of flowers for bridesmaids to carry), to keep him in the conversation.

Let him own something.

My friend Emily let her now-husband Justin plan the honeymoon from start to finish, which worked out well because it freed her up to concentrate on things Justin didn't care as much about and Justin got the chance to call the shots on one of the elements.

How much has your groom pitched in so far? Are you happy with his level of involvement? What have you tried to get him to help more?