Francis Archibald Keyes Esquire comes from a long line of cyber security busters, dedicated to saving the good people of the world wide web from cyber outlaws, APT bandits, virtual pirates, malware hoodlums, and the sort.

AUG 8-9 | LAS VEGAS, NV | Black Hat

AUG 13-16 | OMAHA, NE | DoDIIS

SEP 25-28 | SAN FRANCISCO, CA

“Prepare and prevent, don't repair and repent.”

-- The Keyes Family Motto

For over a hundred years, the Keyes dynasty has been perfecting four patent-pending cybersecurity solutions to ease all of mankind’s woes. The Keyes family prides itself on taking a hands-off, yes-nonsense approach to research and development. As Francis always says, “Ya’ don’t learn safety on accident!”

Are you suffering from malware? Is phishing giving you a headache? Do bots make you break out in hives? Never fear! F.A.K.E. Security is here! Our suite of tried-and-tested solutions (patent pending) is GUARANTEED to solve all your cybersecurity woes! DISCLAIMER: Results are not guaranteed.

Worried about nation-state actors? Fear no more! The Nation-State Actor Salve will solve all your problems. The salve protects against the most aggressive attacks from the most active groups.

Our scienticians have perfected the process for extracting artificial intelligence from the most advanced sources. It will immediately improve the performance of any perimeter security products to identify zero-day threats.

This liniment is made from the powdered motherboards of the rarest computers. Just a few drops will improve the effectiveness of any cybersecurity product. You’ll feel the results immediately!

Are you plagued with APTs that just won’t go away? This tincture has the finest ingredients designed to dissolve any APT quickly and without any scarring. Apply liberally across your perimeter and see your problems disappear.