To answer your question, if I understood it correctly, Arthur Miller did receive information about Marilyn's death and I believe he was invited to the funeral, but he simply couldn't go. He couldn't believe Marilyn was dead, it was simply a horrible, impossible thought for him, so he couldn't force himself to go. He couldn't make himself face the fact that Marilyn had died. Joe DiMaggio and Berniece Miracle took care of the funeral arrangements. I don't think Arthur Miller was even in California at that time.

Definitely NOT the impression I got. He simply didn't care. When asked why he refused to go, he simply said, "Because she's not really there anymore."

You have to remember MM & AM's marriage ended on a bad note, and then after her death he went on to write that disparaging play about her. Bottom line is I think Arthur fell in love with what he THOUGHT Marilyn was, and after they were married he was disappointed to find out that it wasn't who she really was.

Definitely NOT the impression I got. He simply didn't care. When asked why he refused to go, he simply said, "Because she's not really there anymore."

You have to remember MM & AM's marriage ended on a bad note, and then after her death he went on to write that disparaging play about her. Bottom line is I think Arthur fell in love with what he THOUGHT Marilyn was, and after they were married he was disappointed to find out that it wasn't who she really was.

In some ways, I can understand why Arthur didn't go to the funeral. His wife was 8 months pregnant, his children were already traumatised by Marilyn's death. I've studied After The Fall, and personally I think it is as much of a critique of the system that exploited Marilyn and his own failure to help her. But whatever his intentions, it was hugely controversial.

First of all i'm not judge no one, but i think that A.M. has never fallen in love with Marilyn.He took the "golden egg chicken" in the proper moment of his career.Marilyn was infatuated for the man who change part of her life, when she was in NYC and i thought eventually marilyn had fallen in love with Miller for sure, beacuse she lived every day of her life to tried to find true love and be reciprocated.Therefore Miller had not apology for not to be there at the funeral.

To a certain extent I agree with you, Bellatrix about the 'golden egg chicken' statement, but I do think that Arthur loved Marilyn.

In my opinion the period within which Arthur was 'in-love' with Marilyn burned hot and fast like a sparkler, when it goes out, it's done. Regardless of their divorce he still loved and cared for her as one does a dear friend and was affected by her death, it's just that he was the strong, silent type who rarely exposed any type of emotion. I think Joe understood the relationship between Marilyn and Arthur, probably having had many discussions with her about Arthur, and that's possibly part of the reason why Joe invited him to Marilyn's funeral.

Having been exposed to intense press coverage during their relationship Arthur probably had enough of the media and their pursuit of Marilyn (and him). Perhaps he didn't want to arouse speculation of the press regarding the status of his and Marilyn's relationship, especially after her death. I believe that, at the time, he didn't want to discuss his feelings about her with anyone in the press nor be exposed to any questions hollered at him by journalists as he arrived and left the services and LA.

I think Tara sums it up best when she wrote: "...his feelings were raw and he could not face going to a funeral, with the press there especially. We all respond to bereavement in personal and unexpected ways, and Arthur often seemed to be a man who wasn't comfortable with showing his feelings in public. Also, his new wife was due to give birth imminently in New York, and he probably didn't want his older kids to go through a very public funeral in LA. So perhaps it was better for him to stay away."

"Monroe's New York public relations representative, Arthur Jacobs, called Miller to personally deliver the news of her death. His terse response was, "It's your problem, not mine." Jacobs replied, "Arthur, you always were a shit," and hung up. Miller didn't attend the funeral at the Westwood Village Memorial Chapel in Los Angeles, but his father did.""Arthur didn't send flowers, either. His only recorded reaction, in a letter written to a friend, was that "The earth shocks for a moment [but] her life-death will not enlighten many." The only emotional impact her death seemed to have was in terms of his work. He would deal with the subject in his play. This is always how he expressed himself and his feelings--in place of directly experiencing emotions he conceptualized them, and the years of psychoanalysis had done little to change that. Marilyn's was the second recent death to confront him with his remoteness. He admitted he had felt no pain at his mother's death."

and:

"As for Miller's absence from Monroe's funeral, he would still be defending it a quarter of a century later. "To join what I knew would be a circus of cameras and shouts and luridness was beyond my strength . . . to me it was meaningless to stand for photographs at a stone." "

Whitehead also writes about Arthur and Inge's son, Daniel, and echoes much of what Tara has explained. Arthur was apparently elated when Daniel was born, but the next day called producer Robert Whitehead to explain that the baby wasn't right and that he was going to have to put him away. Interestingly enough, Gottfried included this in the biography, too:

"In After the Fall Inge's echo name is Holga, and Miller wrote a speech for her.

I dreamed I had a child and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept on to my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible . . . but I kissed it. I think one must finally take one's life in one's arms."

Wow! Perhaps I was too generous with my assumptions that Mr. Miller could be or ever was sympathetic toward Marilyn after their relationship ended. And Bellatrix really nailed it with her 'golden egg chicken' analogy.

Guess I need to do a little more research about Mr. Miller and how he conducted himself after his marriage to Marilyn. I know the results won't be of glowing declarations of love and respect but I'd like to believe he might have been affected and cared... a little. I understand he wasn't the warmest and most tender person but I'd like to believe there was a heart under those glasses and that brain. Perhaps he was just rotten and I have to accept that.

Marcy, I realize that I'm quoting from the same source again and again, but Gottfried's book contains an account of Miller from October 30, 1995 that might help you understand how he was affected by Marilyn long after she was gone:

"...Miller was approached by a young man in a sweater and sport coat. His name was Baird Jones and he was a reporter for the Daily News. His assignment was to gather material for the gossip pages.The question, to be sure, was mischievous, if now downright baiting. Miller was agreeable to a quick interview and Jones kneeled beside the table, opening a notebook. "The way we were speaking," he recalled, "no one else could overhear any of the questions or answers . . . Jones asked, "Do you ever dream about Marilyn Monroe?" He pressed on. "What kind of dreams are they?"Miller (who later said that he doesn't answer questions about Monroe "unless some stupid jerk brings it up") suddenly brought his right-hand fist up to face level, "right by his jaw," Homes remembered. Rising from the chair, he said, "I'm going to knock your block off." in a "single moment," the reporter recalled, "his attitude escalated from quiet conversation to fighting speech. It was unmistakable -- he was coming right after me. He was going to slug me."One thing Jones knew, he said, "the interview was over." Moreover, "this man had just become an enraged bull," and getting up from his knees he began "back pedaling." Although he expected the playwright to promptly calm down,he started to go after me. The closer he came, the faster I back pedaled. Finally, about twenty feet from the table, he actually threw a punch, which hit me in the shoulder. He was a big guy with huge arms, and this man had a heck of a lot of power behind that punch.. . . That Arthur Miller could lose control over a question about Marilyn Monroe, who had been dead for thirty years, surely betrayed myriad suppressed emotions. Obviously he had never resolved that relationship, nor understand his role in the public's ongoing obsession with her."

Perhaps his frustration came from the fact that people wouldn't let it go. This interaction with a tabloid reporter occurred immediately following a public tribute to Miller and his work in New York City. He had led another life, married, fathered two children, and continued to work during the thirty years since Marilyn's death. It seems as though he played the role of Mr. Monroe during his marriage to Marilyn and perhaps he felt that this type of questioning never let him escape it.

I thought this letter from Arthur to George Cukor gives us a glimpse of his care for Marilyn; it is currently for sale at Abe Books.

("Arthur") in blue ink on his personal Arthur Miller letterhead, April 30, 1960. Very good-fine (light creasing). 7 1/4" x 10 1/2"; fine, fresh (minor signs of handling). To director George Cukor: Before Monroe could star in her husband's script "The Misfits", she had to fulfill a contractual obligation to 20th Century Fox by appearing in "Let's Make Love", directed by Cukor. The film, a frothy musical comedy, is best remembered for the affair between its leading actors, Monroe and French actor Yves Montand. As he remained back east to write during filming, Miller was likely not aware of his wife's infidelities when he wrote his note thanking Cukor for his skillful management of the troubled Monroe. "I just wanted to thank you for the way you have behaved toward Marilyn. The picture, of course, is important to her and to you, but immeasurably more important are the precious days and weeks of her life which you patience and skill and understanding have made humanly meaningful for her. I have never known her so happy at work, so hopeful for herself, so prepared to cast away the worst of her doubts. You must know now some of the reasons why she is so precious to me and will understand the sincerity of my respect for you. I am at work here, but I don't know how long I'll be able to bear this bachelorhood. . ." Provenance: from the estate of George Cukor.

I don't know enough about their relationship to weigh in on this topic intelligently, but I can't agree with the "golden egg" theory. Arthur Miller was already an enormously successful, Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright before he ever met Marilyn. He was considered one of the top two playwrights of his generation, with Tennessee Williams.

I thought this letter from Arthur to George Cukor gives us a glimpse of his care for Marilyn; it is currently for sale at Abe Books.

("Arthur") in blue ink on his personal Arthur Miller letterhead, April 30, 1960. Very good-fine (light creasing). 7 1/4" x 10 1/2"; fine, fresh (minor signs of handling). To director George Cukor: Before Monroe could star in her husband's script "The Misfits", she had to fulfill a contractual obligation to 20th Century Fox by appearing in "Let's Make Love", directed by Cukor. The film, a frothy musical comedy, is best remembered for the affair between its leading actors, Monroe and French actor Yves Montand. As he remained back east to write during filming, Miller was likely not aware of his wife's infidelities when he wrote his note thanking Cukor for his skillful management of the troubled Monroe. "I just wanted to thank you for the way you have behaved toward Marilyn. The picture, of course, is important to her and to you, but immeasurably more important are the precious days and weeks of her life which you patience and skill and understanding have made humanly meaningful for her. I have never known her so happy at work, so hopeful for herself, so prepared to cast away the worst of her doubts. You must know now some of the reasons why she is so precious to me and will understand the sincerity of my respect for you. I am at work here, but I don't know how long I'll be able to bear this bachelorhood. . ." Provenance: from the estate of George Cukor.

Thankyou! I've re-read this thread and I must admit a few of the posts have made my blood boil but this first hand account, from the estate of George Cukor, speaks for itself.

Nobody really knows what he did or how he felt. If he had a very private maybe even confused grief due to the fact he was with a new family. Nobody can judge him on whether he was at the funeral or not, especially considering many points made in this thread eg his wife due to give birth, press intrusion, his children's upset etc. As I have always said, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors and unless you are that person or very close to them it is very easy to get he wrong idea or make judgements/come to the wrong conclusion.

Thankyou! I've re-read this thread and I must admit a few of the posts have made my blood boil but this first hand account, from the estate of George Cukor, speaks for itself.

Nobody really knows what he did or how he felt. If he had a very private maybe even confused grief due to the fact he was with a new family. Nobody can judge him on whether he was at the funeral or not, especially considering many points made in this thread eg his wife due to give birth, press intrusion, his children's upset etc. As I have always said, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors and unless you are that person or very close to them it is very easy to get he wrong idea or make judgements/come to the wrong conclusion.

I totally agree with you Fav. This is a subject too personal and intimate.

August 10, 1962Bouquet From "Arthur"Former husbands, James Dougherty, now a police officer, and playwright Arthur Miller, were absent, but there was a bouquet from "Arthur" and another from the Miller children, "Butch and Bobo".

Aug. 8, 1962, the day of the funeral of Marilyn Monroe, his second wife. âInstead of jetting to the funeral to get my picture taken I decided to stay home and let the public mourners finish the mockery,â Miller wrote. âNot that everyone there will be false, but enough. Most of them there destroyed her, ladies and gentleman.â Credit A