This site is dedicated to my spiritual and physical journey before and after the death of my husband and the father of my son from cancer. It is about grieving, loving, understanding and sharing, and living in the connection while accepting the physical separation that passing on brings. It is also about moving forward in your life from whatever challenges life hands you and living the life that is wanted for you from above.

The Healing Block

Having good memories of past fun and happiness and love is healing. Having fun is important not just for the present, but also for the past and the future. When we focus on the fun of the day we create a healing tool that can be drawn upon during future days when life becomes difficult.

In Heaven this positive experience is stored as a healing block~ an event that is used in time to heal physical or emotional pain. When we stop having fun and the good events in our lives are not created, we run low on the stores of healing blocks that are used to build us up again. Just like saving money in the bank for a rainy day, making the effort to have some fun creates positive memories as an investment into your future that you can draw upon when times get tough. The more you create, the more positive energy you store, the more is there in the “bank” in your past for you to heal yourself in the future. We need positive memories to heal. And it requires the past, the future, and present effort. It takes effort on our parts to build these memories and they serve us in ways that will come back to us magnified one hundred fold in the future. It doesn’t mean you have to pay for an expensive vacation as it can mean a beautiful walk in a park with a loved one or a picnic or a special dinner out.

Yes, grief does play out a little differently but this same process applies. Sometimes through our grief journey, good memories are painful. It is counter-intuitive on many levels as the good memories equate to loss now, and the void now that those memories are not still being created with the person that is no longer in our life. This is where we have to take the painful but needed steps towards creating new memories and new and different events in our lives and start fresh. After Jordon died it was the things I enjoyed the most that I wanted to do the least. I didn’t quite understand the level of aversion to those things quite like I do now. Now I understand the process a little better. We don’t need to stop doing fun things in our lives, as those things will lead us to healing. I have decided to go back in time to the memory of my childhood and remember things I loved to do when I was young. For me, I used to love to create art. I decided to start doing things that were really related to things I loved to do that did not have attachments to my relationship with Jordon. I am building an art studio in my basement for me to create art from my memories and feelings and visions I have had over the past year. I am going to create artistic form and mass using color and paint and objects and canvass from my visions. I am using this childhood love of mine as a means to heal. The pain and loss and good memories that were created with Jordon need to be out of my being, out of my mind, and onto canvass where I can look at it, see it, and understand it, and be at peace with it. Writing this journal is another way I am choosing to express and heal myself. The ideas are endless. Find your outlet and just go for it.

I am telling you this as a means to help you become unstuck. If you cannot drag yourself out of the pain and anguish you feel from the physical void of your lost loved one, try and take small steps towards doing something in your life that creates a new memory, even if is for a minute each day. If you are not creating something new, you will only live in your old life and that is the doorway to being locked in a room that does not serve you. Maybe this journal can be a key for you to unlock old passions, create new energy and focus, and allow in the flow of new pathways to follow.

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I have been taking pictures… I live across from the beach and love taking pictures of the water, clouds, sun and trees… Thinking of ideas on what to do with these pictures… I have some and hopefully I can carry the ideas through ..

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Holly C Barker

My name is Holly Barker and I am the founder of Grief Anonymous, a support organization for grief and loss. I am also the founder of the Grief Resource Network. My husband of 14 years and the father of my son died of Malignant Melanoma skin cancer in 2014. My mission is to write honestly about our journey and to share with those that are going through the loss of a loved one or another challenging experience. I learned through this experience about the process of understanding, accepting what life hands us, and living in the continuum and connectivity to our loved ones that have passed on. If you are stuck and having a difficult time moving forward into the life that is wanted for you from above, follow me on this journey and maybe it will help you, too. Love and Light, Holly