logo

Dear Unicorn Hunters,

We don’t hate you. Honestly many of us are looking for the same or similar result. I would take it a step further and suggest a lot of the ones rolling their eyes, right now at your, “We looking for our Queen” introductory post, have posted in a similar vein. Busted through the doors of the PolyWorld with the announcement that they were a happy healthy good looking couple looking for “Our Queen.”

If they were tactful, maybe they had the wife post it. She’s looking for a “Bff, Sister-wife, Soulmate for us to share.”

You know what? That’s dope.

When you consider the conservative traditions of Black Folk and romance, that is nothing short of a revolutionary act.

Salute, Comrade.

Now get over yourself.

Lucky enough for you, many a Beavis and Butthead couple made that same clumsy entrance into the Black polyamorous community before they realized that wait, this is a community. After all of those years perfecting the whole “couple that tries to pick up chicks together at the bar” act, they quickly realized they had to throw the whole damn thing away.

You know why? Because they are an actually VERY attractive couple. And folks think they’re cute. In this group there is a collection of the most woke, forward thinking people around. So when you say, “We looking for our Queen?”

They got questions.

What do you mean by Queen? Can your wife date? Alone? What are your thoughts on an OPP? Kitchen table? Hierarchy? What dynamic you claiming?

Don’t get it twisted, it’s OK not to know.

I mean that’s the whole point of having a COMMUNITY. The one thing black poly people love doing more than posting pics of their amazing curl patterns and obsessing about the Black Panther premiere is talking about being black and poly. They will recommend books, site experiences, and slide into your DMs with a Youtube link and a come to Jesus moment.

We have thousands of people coming to these spaces from every corner of the globe looking for a person to add to their life, and what they receive has nothing to do with romance. It is more of blessing than many had the good sense to ask for, because while we out here, “Looking for our Queen,” the foundations of a real community are being laid.

That fellow educator on the frontlines all the way across the country that inspires your lesson plans.

That brother your wife used to date but now you call when you going through it.

That couple that you never met in person, but you live for the pictures they post of their beautiful family.

That’s what you just stepped in to.

Not just a Facebook group or a dating page. This is something that took years, and experiences to build:

Personal, financial and emotional investments.

Being part of a community means you don’t have to make every mistake yourself, although we will give that first one. We silently smile to one another when you post that sexy pic of the two of you laying in the bed doing your best Jigga and Bey.

But after that, please know that have you finally have a group of people to talk shop with when it comes to being non-monogamous. People who won’t classify you as a creep. Some you won’t connect with. Others you feel like you have known them forever.

One way or the other, chances are you will make connections here, but it can’t be the same as rifling through the discount bin in the back of Burlington.

Take a look around. Get to know the people. The language. Make connections that aren’t transactional. Make it out to a few events.

What you will find is an expanded view of what ‘Many Loves’ means and who knows, you might just run into your Queen.