"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED

Our new accountant is hairier than Robin Williams. He's from Romania and he has the most developed canine teeth I've ever seen. We were supposed to see him next Monday the 24th but this morning he asked to move the meeting up til Tuesday instead. Sunday the 23rd is a full moon.

Tried a durian fruit milkshake today, from a local Vietnamese restaurant. Dear God that was the worst thing I've ever ingested, seriously. Would go into more detail but not sure if it's in bad taste or not.

Closest taste to it, that I am personally aware of, were the burps I was having during a bout of gastroenteritis last summer. Not pleasant. Lipton bottled ice tea does an admirable job of killing the aftertaste, though.

Been working for this company for two years now and I noticed something odd. Most of the younger guys there have developed a gut, even our young boss who now looks like the pillsbury doughboy. Either this is a new trend among young men (some of the guys seem to carry their new gut with pride) or they got impregnated by some alien life form.

Today my four-year-old goddaughter Courtney announced that her imaginary friend, Mrs. Blind, doesn't like me. I've read enough Stephen King to know that 99.9% of imaginary friends are malevolent spirits, and that now my days are seriously numbered.