Bring Your Own Lunch

Once a month we have a mandatory staff meeting that takes place during lunch because that is when it will have the least impact on patient care. It is for all staff, but usually there are people who will pretend they didn’t know it was happening and miss it. During the meeting we celebrate those with birthdays for the month and if no one has a birthday, which happened this month, there is still cake. In the early days, we would have a potluck with everyone who wanted to take part bringing something to contribute to the lunch. Gradually, people started to get tired of having to lug a huge crock pot filled with food all the way from the employee parking lot, so the potlucks sort of dwindled down to very few people bringing a dish and the majority of us bringing our own lunch to the meeting.

This past week we had the February all staff meeting and the discussion the week prior was that the manager would order a sub sandwich platter from a local shop that delivered and staff would bring their own sides, chips, veggies, pasta salad, etc. I am trying to eat better, so I avoid the offerings at the luncheons and bring something for myself. It’s safer that way. So when we arrived at the meeting there were 10 large pizzas for 20 people. Two are allergic to gluten and others are eating healthy, so that made 10 pizzas for about 12 people. Needless to say we had lots of leftovers and a boss that didn’t understand why her staff didn’t eat the pizza. Of course, as usual, it had to be discussed endlessly even if you had no desire to do so. The following is my interrogation (or conversation) as I was leaving for the day:

Boss: “You didn’t eat any pizza at the meeting.”
Me: “No, I didn’t.”
Boss: “Why not? You’re Italian.”
Me: “Well, fifty percent of me is.”
Boss: “So why didn’t you eat pizza?”
Me: “I’m trying to eat healthier.”
Boss; “Who isn’t?”
Me: “The people who did eat the pizza.”
Boss: “So why didn’t you eat any?”
Me: “I like thin crust pizza.”
Boss: “The pizza had thin crust.”
Me: “The crust was two inches thick. It wasn’t thin crust.”
Boss: “There was vegetarian pizza. That’s healthy.”
Me: “My Italian grandma never put broccoli or jalapeno on a pizza.”
Boss: “There was cheese pizza.”
Me: “That’s a bread stick. Not pizza.”
Boss: “I expected everyone to eat the pizza. Well, except for the two that are allergic to gluten. They didn’t even eat the salads I ordered special for them.”
Me: “That’s because they weren’t gluten free.”
Boss: “It was a salad with chicken.”
Me: “It had croutons and shredded cheese. Both have gluten. I don’t think they wanted to get sick.”
Boss: “Do they even make gluten-free salads?”
Me: “The cafeteria does. You just have to order it.”
Boss: “I still don’t understand why the pizza wasn’t a hit.”
Me: “Maybe next time you can order a tray of subs from the sub shop.”
Boss: “I’ll try to remember that for next month.”