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Saturday, March 22, 2014

Only recently have I discovered that writing out my thoughts could be therapeutic.

If I'm not bottling up my worries or sadness I'm dumping it all over Tim and that isn't healthy for either one of us. He accepts everything with open arms and a warm heart and I couldn't be more blessed with his willingness to take on my emotions along with me.

Sure I could write of life's trials in a notebook and stash it away where nobody would ever find it, but I have this little space here on my blog. My own little nook of the web where I can share with loved ones and strangers alike and it just feels better to me.

After cautiously sharing our struggles with infertility and loss I felt a burden lifted off of me. I heard from so many that knew how I felt and they poured out love to Tim and I in such a time of frustration and longing. That's when I knew that sharing some news in this very public way was the right thing to do...for me.

With that said, we recently lost another tiny blessing.

Miscarriage is not any easier the second time. I feel sad and angry but mostly scared.

We were very cautious this time and instead of being overjoyed upon finding out, we were cautious and I felt robbed of the joy that other couples get to experience. I'm learning to accept that our journey will be a little different. It will be one of caution and complete trust in God.

We have good days and bad days but having each other has made it so much more bearable.

When one of us loses hope and feelings of defeat wander in, the other reassures and finds the positive. I must admit, Tim is usually the one reassuring and he has been so strong for me. In the end we have each other and right now my heart feels broken but at the same time so very full.