Wednesday, June 22, 2011

How does it feel being a Grandma of 2 at 40yrs old? Kinda like being a Grandma of 1 at 39. I had two babies by the time I was 20 also. So I guess Manuel is following in my footsteps. He didn't listen to my advice - "Do as I say, not as I do/did!"

Monday, June 20, 2011

When my brother Junior posted these pictures on his Facebook page, it touched my heart so. It comforts me to know that he goes and visits Samuel's grave. Living in North Carolina I don't get to visit his grave much, and honestly if I were there, I don't think I would go that much either. Going to the cemetary is really hard for me. I know Samuel is gone, but it's easier to just think of him as somewhere else....somewhere else alive. But at the cemetary there's no denying it. His body is there, under the ground. I know....I know...denial is not a good thing. But guess what....sometimes it is. Sometimes I have to deny to keep my sanity.....to keep the hurting away. Sometimes it's all I can do to.

But I digress.....I'm not here to talk about my pain and denial. I'm here to tell my brother, Junior that I love him and that it comforts me to know that Samuel is not forgotten and not alone. That he goes to sit with him, talk with him, remember him and love him. And that makes my heart feel just a little bit better.

The boys and Fonzy are on summer break. Oh....how I wish I could be on summer break too! Do you know how hard it is to get up at the crack of dawn while everyone else is sleeping. Let me tell you...very hard! But I can say there is one good thing about them being on break. I don't have to clean or cook. They have that all taken care of!

Blog by Isaida Veale

Wife, Mother to four boys, Knitter, Picturetaker, and Memory Keeper. I lost my oldest son, Samuel, to murder. Life can be unfair at times, but even so, it holds beauty and love. I blog to document our life. This beautiful, messy life.