Tag Archive | "foreign worker"

Posted on 26 April 2015

He is officially the only person in Singapore to have done a pull-up to save a life.

Singapore is set to rename Changi Airport as Subramanian Shanmuganathan Airport in honour of the heroic foreign worker who did a pull-up to save a toddler’s life.

The foreign worker was caught on camera effortlessly hauling himself up onto a second floor ledge to assist a small child who was dangling from a railing outside of the HDB flat in distress.

Singaporeans from all walks of life who have never realised the importance of pull-ups even though Singaporean men used to do it all the time as part of their annual IPPT tests, said having the airport named after Subramanian Shanmuganathan befits the man’s contribution to Singapore, which is unique and something even locals have not been able to do.

La Shan Qu, a Singaporean man, said: “Singapore has carefully considered all the different ways we can honour the foreign worker for his deed. And naming an airport after him is appropriate as he is not just anybody, but somebody who can do a pull-up to save a life.”

“Over the past few decades, we have seen countless NS men do pull-ups without much payoff, wondering when on earth will this physical fitness skill ever be put to good use, such as protecting the nation or rescuing someone.”

“And along came Subramanian Shanmuganathan, who basically did what all Singaporean men have failed to accomplish since Day One: Do a pull-up to save a life.”

“For this achievement, we should name more things after him, if possible.”

Posted on 22 March 2013

Singapore will build flats for foreign workers in the fourth dimension to free up space on the island for HDB flats, said the housing ministry on Thursday.

The first block of flats are slated for completion by 2016. While extensive testing on long-tailed macaques caught off the island’s reservoirs have showed that living in the fourth dimension is not fatal, reports say that the fourth dimension is still not fit for human habitation.

“The monkeys that we used for initial testing were disoriented when they arrived back to the 3-D world as their backsides and heads were interchanged. They were also unable to perform basic tasks like washing dishes 16-hours a day, seven days a week,” said the project’s lead researcher at A*Star, Star di Hardt.

“Furthermore, we are unable to stabilise the portals to the fourth dimension at this point in time. The three portals that we created in the lab ‘escaped’ to the public realm and caused sinkholes.”

But the government insists that these problems are merely challenges that can be solved over time.

“We have a housing crunch that we must fix. At the same time, we need the foreign workers so we can complete the flats for all the young couples that have already ordered their BTO homes,” said housing minister Khaw Boon Wan.

“Don’t tell me about the laws of physics that we have to bend. With proper planning, anything is possible. You must trust the government. Living in the fourth dimension can be quite comfortable, and humane.”

Other MPs echoed his view, chiding New Nation for being overly negative.

“You must ask yourself, what can we do to make Singapore a better place? There are so many foreigners loitering on our unused public fields, littering and making noise on Sunday night during their off day. This has led to many of my residents complaining. Now instead of putting them in a community centre far away in Jurong, we can put them in the fourth dimension instead, where they will be forever out of sight until we need their services,” said the MP who requested for anonymity.