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The Secret Fig Caffeine Society

The Fig group has created a new secret club for caffeine addicts… the Fig Caffeine Society. Finally there’s an organisation for beanbuffs, mocha-maniacs, cappuccino-cadets and flat-white freaks!

Brand new coffee machines (life-support systems) have been installed at the Wild Fig, Pickled Fig and Naked Fig and the organisation’s baristas have been sent to the jungles of Java to learn the ways of the fabled, non-blinking “Percolators” – a lost tribe of brewmasters known the world over for never sleeping.

The Fig have also taken their coffee to the next level and are now serving direct trade beans from the best coffee roasters in Melbourne – St. ALi. To match this, the team has had personal training by Australia’s Barista Champion, Matt Perger (from St. Ali). Perger is competing in the World Barista Championships in May.

The Fig now offers a single origin bean as well as a new, regular blend, Chompy. The Chompy blend sings its strength through milk, but maintains a big body, dark chocolate and nutty notes with a sweet butterscotch finish.

Entry to the Fig Caffeine Society costs $149 which entitles customers to receive a direct trade coffee, tea, chai or hot chocolate any time, any day of the year – dine in or take-away. The only day this excludes is Christmas; therefore it’s available 364 days of the year.

Russel Morris, co-owner of the Fig group says, “this can save customers up to $1671 on caffeine hits per year! This exclusive secret society is limited to the first 200 members. Visit a Fig to learn the secret handshake and join up.”

Next time you are at one of the Fig restaurants, ask a member of staff for more details.

Sunset at The Naked Fig Deck, Swanbourne

Top Ten Signs of Caffeine Addiction:

1. You wake up resembling a cast member of the 1978 zombie flick, “Dawn of the Dead”, moaning “Beannnnzzz”, instead of “Brainnnnzzz”…

2. You bought a $4000 coffee machine and it paid for itself in 10 days.

3. Your resting heart-rate sounds like a Latino percussion ensemble.

4. You believe the coffee bean is vegetable, loaded with vitamin caffeine.

5. You could win the Tour de Lance (or France) on a unicycle after your customary 18 morning espresso shots.

6. Your dog’s name is Latte and you chase his tail.

7. You have too much blood in your caffeine system.

8. You named your 4 kids; Columbia, Sumatra, Guatemala and Starbucks.

9. You get speeding fines whilst walking.

10. You think George Clooney’s best performance was in the Nespresso ad.

Any of these ring a bell?!

It’s OK, you’re not alone! Most caffeine junkies identify with at least 17 of the top 10 signs of addiction. The Fig Group understands you! That’s why they have established the Fig Caffeine Society.