Ahoy mateys! Avast! Today, September 19, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. (For the official Web site, click here.) Though not a Federal holiday, today is special in the salty hearts of many. Arrrrrrr ye ready fer it? First, go here to get your new pirate name. And now, here are some pirate jokes, compliments of piratejokes.net.

Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?

A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

A: Because they can spend years at C!

Q: What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?

A: A sunken chest with no booty

Haha. Shiver me timbers, those are bad! But in that awesomely bad way. Right?