Yesterday was National Hairball Awareness Day. Awareness may help us someday answer the eternal question, is stepping on one barefoot worse if it’s fresh and warm, or icy-cold?

Tomorrow is National Awareness of Rom’s Birth Day, which I’m celebrating by taking the day off.

911 OVERHEARD

“Why was he chasing you with a knife? Oh, because you stepped on his lawn?” I TOLD YOU KIDS TO GET OUT OF MY YARD!!

I WANNA BE PRESIDENT, TOO!

So Trump has a red button on his desk to summon someone to bring him a Coke. A dream come true! I also want a lifetime supply of cashew butter and dark chocolate chips. Oh, and for none of those things to have any calories. Hey, wouldn’t Reese’s Cashew Butter Cups made with dark chocolate be great? I’ll issue an executive order.

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What? Where am I?

I am currently a 911 dispatcher in the Midwest. I have opinions, which I hope to present in a (usually) humorous manner. I feel somewhat intimidated by the pressure to appear charming and interesting on this page. And I hate scratchy glitter.