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Apparently, the Bears Want Nirvana

Sep 07, 2013 | 11:10 AM EDT

This article originally appeared on Sept. 3, 2013 on RealMoney. To read more content like this + see inside Jim Cramer's multi-million dollar portfolio for FREE Click Here NOW.

What exactly do the bears want? What would satisfy the negativists who believe the market should be lower and want to bet against it? Do they demand that U.S. Treasury interest rates drop dramatically -- for the 10-year bond to fall back under 2.5% from the current 2.8%? Must that happen at the same time that this Friday's jobs report shows unemployment below 7%?

Does this have to coincide with an agreement from Syrian President Bashar al-Assad that no more chemical weapons will be used on his people? Does China also need to say it is going to use the $1 trillion it is selling in U.S. bonds to prop up the economy by ordering a gigantic infrastructure project? Does President Obama need to issue a no-new-taxes-for-the-length-of-his-term pledge? Maybe even a tax cut? Perhaps it'll take a reverse head-and-shoulders chart? Or dramatically lower prices so the dividend yield on the S&P 500 will be 3.5%?

What would it take?

I sit here today, marveling at all the absurdly good things that are happening in the market. There's the agreed-upon
Nokia(NOK - Get Report) cell-phone acquisition by
Microsoft(MSFT - Get Report) for $7 billion. There's the $130 billion
Verizon(VZ - Get Report)-
Vodafone(VOD) deal, much of which will flow back through the market. The U.S. strike on Syria, meanwhile, has been on hold -- and we saw a dramatically great purchasing managers index number from China. In light of all of this, I wonder about the people who hate this market. What would they need in order for them to convert their views?

I think the answer is that they want nirvana. They want everything. They need everything to go positive. The problem, of course, is that this is an unrealistic concept. You are not going to get the best of all worlds, ever. It's never been the best of all possible worlds in the 34 years I have been investing. There's always something wrong, or even many things wrong. When they go wrong, and the market goes down, the "wrong" proximate cause will then keep bearish people out of the market again.