A Song for Gordon

Going to public meeting and finding out that the public address system not working is commonplace when there has been an outcry from the public. This was what was planned to happen at Stafford when a public enquiry was due to be held on 5th May 2009 regarding all the recent deaths at Stafford Hospital.

So, on May 5th, the staff responsible for the public address system did their usual to ensure the system would not work and made it look as if it was a fault which lasted several days and it wasn't fixed until the following week. But little did they know that Gordon Brown and some of his colleagues were due to be guests in a meeting in the Council Chambers on Friday 8th May and so something had to be done to get the public address system working for when Gordon was there.

It was vital that Gordon was heard clearly as this was his last speech before all the news about MPs expenses were made public, so the only way they would get this up and running in time was to use an older analogue system with radio microphones, and a local radio ham known locally as "Staff Nurse" was listening in and realised what was going on.

Being very much against New Labour, Staff Nurse had a plan and so searched his collection of records for an appropriate song from 1978.

While Gordon was speaking, Staff Nurse started playing a recording of Jilted John and transmitted part of it over the airwaves at the frequency picked up by the public address system. Suddenly, the Gordon Brown's speaking was drowned out by "But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron" and it finished with "This is Staff Nurse letting you know what we think of Gordon".

Not one person in the Council Chambers could keep a straight face and there were grins everywhere - except for Gordon whose look was his usual dithering way - he looked as if he wasn't aware of what happened and hadn't paid any attention to what everyone else in the chamber had heard. Bill Cash, MP for Stafford and David Kidney, MP for Stone were sitting next to Gordon at the meeting.

There will now be a public enquiry into why the public address installed in the building wasn't working at one of the most important times but that won't take place until the public address system has been fixed.

Now that is a first for a long time.

Make Kidney Stone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Back In Gear HQ, London: Jeremy Clarkson BACK to present live shows to avoid paying out £10million in refunds to angry fans. Jeremy Clarkson will front the 'Back in Gear' Live World Tour, with Richard Hammond and James May, which is set to make more...

Our intrepid Weeki Leeks reporter had triumphed again with the following revelations. Thirty something years ago a young Scottish person named Nicholas Sturgeon had a sex change operation performed by Dr Herman Clitterman in his clandestine surgery...

St Martin's Well-Man clinic in Newcastle is proving to be a leading beacon in testicular cancer awareness in the United Kingdom. From its early foundations in the 1980's till present time, the clinic has been growing from two or three out-patients a...

The BBC' s human resources department has admitted changing its job application form for the first time in 50 years. Wendy Attenborough, Head of HR, explained that the BBC set up a panel of Stake Holders in November last year, in light of paedophile...

David Cameron's garden at number 10 could be paying for itself soon. Over the last few years he has added a tree house, bouncy castle, pitch and put, croquet area, revolving greenhouse, water chute, Tarzan swing, bowling lawn, bandstand, pigeon shed,...

The seven largest UK political parties have announced they will partake in a tag-team death match before the results of the looming election are revealed.
The event will be staged at Wembley Stadium and fights will involve key members of the Blues...

Ancient Rocker Duane Hyman and guitarist for the band Megasauras held a news conference today at a secret hotel in London at the request of the band's manager Rocky Road.
Duane's life commitment has been to take everything to the max. He was the o...

A blue plaque is to be attached to Stoodley Pike in Calderdale dedicated to the true pioneer of powered flight Silas Makepeace Hepplethwaite of Mankinholes nr. Todmorden.
Silas was a sheep farmer but he firmly believed that man was destined to fl...