2005-07-06

Message to Iraqi Prime Minister

Open Letter to Ibrahim al Jaafari, Prime Minister of Iraq.

Dear Sir,As you are probably aware, Iraq is the most free country in the entire world. Not only do you have protection of human rights, you don't even have speed limits, so traffic can flow naturally. And no restrictions on pornography either. Congratulations sir, I envy your freedom! I am sad to say that we don't have these same freedoms in Australia. But most important of all, our freedom of speech was recently taken away by one of our governments (Victoria). Our Prime Minister doesn't believe in protecting our freedoms, he likes the idea of governments having absolute power.

Anyway, because of these breaches of human rights, I am requesting that you make a stand for human rights yourself. What I want you to do, is order all Australian troops to leave your country. Simply say that you no longer want to have troops from a fascist regime polluting your beautiful country. After the last of the troops leave, I want you to then issue a formal declaration of war on Australia. Don't worry, with the US forces there, Australia has no chance of defeating you. You are invincible. I then want you to organize a coalition of liberal democracies to come and liberate Australia from the fascist Howard government. I then want you to install a Bill of Rights, saying that everyone has the right to live under a rational, humanist non-subjugating government and that all human rights, including but not limited to freedom of speech, be protected. I then want you to create a new Australian Defence Force that pledges allegiance to the people, via the Bill of Rights, rather than the government.

I want you to know that my taxes helped liberate your country. I therefore expect you to return the favour and liberate mine. I don't know if the majority of Australians are happy to live under a fascist regime that doesn't respect human rights, but I want you to know that even if I'm in a minority - MINORITIES HAVE INALIENABLE RIGHTS TOO. E.g. the majority can't choose to enslave people whose surname begins with an "E". And nor can a majority take away my freedom of speech. I beg you sir, as the leader of the most recent country to join the free world, to protect human rights of EVERY human, not just other Iraqis.