Life on the Edge of Everything and Nothing

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Tag Archives: self-conscious

It has been awhile since I have taken any full body pictures and posted them on the internet. I don’t know if it is because I am now 30 and feel that I should have a better physique than I do or what. I will post a picture like this one.

It shows mostly my face and I even crop out my forehead. Not that I really care that it is big, I just needed to make the picture fit. I’ve been no stranger to posting pictures of myself on the internet after a sweaty workout. I just haven’t done that in a very long time. I guess you could say that I am now self conscious about everything. I don’t feel like it has always been this way. I don’t even know what is making me feel this way. I want so badly to actually complete my fitness goals and stay on track but I sabotage myself. I allow my mind to make an excuse that will allow me to have this unhealthy food, or that unhealthy food. I just want to be at peace with myself and be happy about it. I have never really struggled with fitness all that much. My biggest problem is the cheesy goodness that I love to put in my mouth. Add that to the bread and tortillas and you have got yourself one unhealthy combination.

So, in light of being transparent and trying to be real with myself and the world. I have started a second Instagram account. One that I will only post fitness related photos to. I will still have my main account: cmarq01 if you want to follow that one. My new fitness IG is Christinafits. I chose this name because I want to fit whatever my goal is. I want to fit my own image of health and beauty. I want to stop looking at other people and then thinking that I am fat. Basically, I want to fit in with myself and not care if I fit in with everyone else. That sounds so simple but in fact, it will probably be the most difficult thing that I have ever done. If all goes well, I will hopefully start a YouTube channel after my wedding to document my journey. I need to see that I am doing something better. I can’t just look at pictures. Without further ado… here is a screenshot of my first photo for the new Instagram account. Completely stripped down and self-conscious. I’m working on changing my #selfconsciousselfie to #confidentselfie. Lets see how long it takes. Who’s with me?