Liam Neeson Opens Up For the First Time About Natasha Richardson's Death

Nearly two years after his wife, Tony-winning actress Natasha Richardson, passed away following a skiing accident, Liam Neeson is opening up for the first time about that terrible night in March 2009.

"I walked into the emergency [room] -- it's like seventy, eighty people, broken arms, black eyes, all that -- and for the first time in years, nobody recognizes me," the 'Taken' star told Esquire. "Not the nurses. The patients. No one. And I've come all this way, and they won't let me see her. And I'm looking past them, starting to push -- I'm like, 'F**k, I know my wife's back there someplace.'"

Neeson rarely speaks about his private life, and was initially hesitant to talk about Richardson with Esquire writer Tom Chiarella. However, while recounting a motorcycle accident that put him in the hospital in 2000, the Oscar-nominated star of 'Schindler's List' began to discuss the tragic parallels between the accident he survived and the one that took the life of his wife.

After striking a deer, Neeson lost control of his motorcycle and crashed into a ditch, breaking his pelvis in two places. He was transferred to New York City's Lenox Hill Hospital, and Richardson, who was filming in Canada, rushed to be by his side. "I found out later they'd told her I wouldn't last the night," Neeson said. "Well, they never f**king told me that."

The scene would be repeated nine years later, only in reverse, with Neeson rushing from the Canadian set of the film 'Chloe' to be with Richardson, who had hit her head in a skiing accident.

After the fall, Richardson was initially lucid and simply asked to be taken back to her room, dismissing the ambulances that reported to the scene. Three hours later, however, the actress was taken to a small Canadian hospital after complaining of a headache. Within a few hours she was transferred to a larger hospital in Montreal. Neeson rushed from the set of 'Chloe' to be with Richardson, who had fallen into a coma as a result of a brain hemorrhage sustained during the fall.

The day after Richardson's accident, she was flown to Lenox Hill Hospital, where she died on March 18, 2009. On March 19, theater lights on Broadway and in London's West End were dimmed in honor of the respected actress and dedicated AIDS research activist.

"What am I gonna do? How am I going to get past the security?" Neeson told Chiarella, recounting what was going through his mind when he arrived at the hospital. "And I see two nurses, ladies, having a cigarette. I walk up, and luckily one of them recognizes me. And I'll tell you, I was so f**king grateful -- for the first time in I don't know how long -- to be recognized. And this one, she says, 'Go in that back door there.' She points me to it. 'Make a left. She's in a room there.' So I get there, just in time. And all these young doctors, who look all of eighteen years of age, they tell me the worst."

According to Chiarella, Neeson stopped the interview briefly while discussing Richardson, blinking back tears while gazing across the eatery at members of the late actress's extended family, who were coincidentally at the restaurant -- a favorite of Neeson and Richardson's -- the day of his interview with Esquire.

The actor returned to the set of 'Chloe' immediately after Richardson's funeral. "I just think I was still in a bit of shock," he said. "But it's kind of a no-brainer to go back to that work. It's a wee bit of a blur, but I know the tragedy hadn't just really smacked me yet."

Neeson and Richardson have two teenage sons, Michael and Daniel.

"I think I survived by running away some. Running away to work. Listen, I know how old I am and that I'm just a shoulder injury from losing roles like the one in 'Taken,'" the actor told Esquire. "So I stay with the training, I stay with the work. It's easy enough to plan jobs, to plan a lot of work. That's effective. But that's the weird thing about grief. You can't prepare for it. You think you're gonna cry and get it over with. You make those plans, but they never work."

Neeson's full interview is featured in Esquire's latest issue, on newsstands Feb. 22.

I am also a Sharon. You other Sharon's are wrong about the potty mouth. He was expressing his frustration at not being able to get in and see his dying wife. I think he was pretty reserved for most people in that situation. Besides, that word has a way of getting attention where no other word could.

I remember when this happened back in March 2009. I remember thinking what he must be going through. Such a small, simple accident and it taking her life. It reminded me also of just how fragile life is. How we can be gone in just a moment. He will move on with his life, but will never be the same. How could anyone be the same after losing a life partner. I wish him well.

May God Bless Liam. My heart goes out to him still. They were such a gracious and beautiful couple. I'd imagine it must, to this day still, feel like such a giant hole in his heart. Oh, how so very tragically sad that... Natasha left this world (much too soon) a "Sleeping Beauty"...

I have always like him, as an actor and as a person. His wife was really nice too. It says alot about him that he didn't scream and yell at the hospital when they wouldn't let him in. I would have been like.. do you know who I am?! I f**king Liam Neeson and your going to let me see my wife!!!

I fully understand what Liam is going through and greif is a process and everyone's is different. You never get over it, but you are able to live with it and it changes you forever. Prayer is very helpful

His grief will likely subside in time and he will likely remaryy but her mother's grief is forever (father's too - not sure if he was living). It's just that parental grief for their adult children is so wrongfully dismissed in our culture.

About the f word - older generatins do generally object to profanity - maybe a place for it somemtimes though people felt things as strongly and deeply in times past without using expletives. but about the f word suggest women especialy try to find a 1973 NY Times op ed piece by Barbara Lawrence, humanities professor at State University Old Westbury titled "....isn't a dirty word?" about the derivation of the word etc. It was reprinted in Red Book magazine and again do not have exact date but it was titled " Dirty Words Can Harm you."

I don't mean to diminish this husband's suffering but thought this needs to be said too.

I hope that Liam is doing better. Time is a great healer, and he will make it through this. He is a survivor. March the 18th will be hard for a long time, as will her birthday, Christmas and Thanksgiving. Love his work. especially his Rob Roy. Watch it all the time when I need refrences for the stories I write. God Bless you Liam and your two sons.

SHE'S SMILING ON YOU LIAM AND HER PRAYERS ARE NOW WITH YOU AND THOSE LEFT BEHIND!BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND GIFTED ACTRESS... SO ADMIRED AND LOVED. GREIVING IS A PROCESS AND ALTHOUGH SOME MAY HAVE WONDERED ABOUT HIS IMMEDIATE RETURN TO WORK, IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I WITNESSED A STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR HIS WIFE AND FAMILY. WHILE CARRYING THE CASKET, HE STOOD TALL LIKE THE PILLAR OF STRENGTH BUT GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW HE WAS HURTING! HE IS SO HONEST ABOUT HIS FEELINGS AND BEING ABLE TO SHARE IS A SIGN THAT HE IS STILL IN THE PROCESS. SO TRUE, WE CAN MAKE PLANS AND SEE OURSELVES AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE BUT GOD ONLY KNOWS...THE MESSAGE? KEEP LIVING YOUR DREAM AND LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

I was a fan of the great actress Natasha Richardson. I'll never forget how she conveyed the horror of her characters situation in A Handmaids Tale. (I always think of the Republic of Gilaed as the America a McCain/Palin presidency had in mind). I also love to see Liam Neeson in the sensitive, repressed, roles he choses.

You could feel the love of this man as he spoke about his wife. He was only describing what he felt while trying to get to her, and those words were appropriate for his situation. It just made me like him even more! Love your work Liam and Sorry again for your loss.

I can certainly understand Liam Neeson's reaction to the way he was treated. I can't say that I would have chosen his way but it was just that, 'his way'. It was his wife and no one elses and he had every right to be upset. I've never met him personally but I believe that was a loving and caring man who was not too important to show his true feelings. He didn't care about reporters nor cameras he just wanted to be with his loved one. We should all want someone such as him to be by our side.