Emotions raw and public after 3 teen suicides

Meredith MoriakMidland Reporter-Telegram

Published 2:11 pm, Saturday, December 10, 2011

Cutting. Burning. Arguing, abuse and abandonment.

These acts are among those that Midland teenagers discussed recently on a public Facebook group created after three teen suicides left them feeling pain and anger. In less than four days, more than 1,300 people -- not all from Midland -- joined the group. People are typing out their feelings. Some about past suicide attempts and loneliness, and others about hope, love and acceptance.

While the subject matter is disturbing and uncomfortable, a group of girls from Lee Freshman High School -- many still in braces and just learning to wear makeup -- started it because something needs to change, they say.

"There is another way out, and suicide is 100 percent preventable," one of them said.

Kids need some place to talk and someone who will listen, they said, and for now, Facebook is offering that support.

During lunch at Chili's on Thursday, seven of the group's founders sat around the table talking about what might have made their peers turn to suicide. Family issues, drugs, alcohol, bullying and loneliness were all mentioned, but the girls acknowledged there's no real answer for what drives people to commit suicide.

Major life changes often leave people feeling hopeless and out of control, said Roddy Strobel, BCA Permian Basin medical director and child psychiatrist. Life changes account for about 50 percent of suicides, she said.

Although the girls are not sure if bullying contributed to the three Midland teens'deaths, they said intense bullying -- at school and through social media -- is prevalent.

While uniforms are required at the junior high and freshman schools, the girls said it doesn't stop the taunting or rude comments. A bubbly blonde mentioned how bullying doesn't stay at school, and she frequently receives phone calls from a blocked number telling her to kill herself.

Although it's hard to deal with, the girls said they're not going to let it get to them. Instead, they're going to try and rise above it and help others to see suicide is not a way out.

"You shouldn't take your life away because of what others are saying. It shouldn't be that way," said one girl, discussing how her faith in God keeps her strong through the sadness.

By creating the group, the girls said they hope to reach others and offer hope, something many kids don't have, said Midland ISD Superintendent Ryder Warren.

Many students are posting phone numbers on the Facebook group and asking people to call or text when they need to talk or are thinking of making bad decisions.

Pastors, teachers and other adults have joined the conversation, acting as moderators and reminding kids they shouldn't publicly post phone numbers. Other adults told their stories of how tough it was to be a teenager, but how the feelings of helplessness will pass.

"Just know that ur decisions and actions will change the lives of your family and friends FOREVER," wrote a Midland firefighter. "Pls know that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem."

The teens were upset that schools never addressed suicide as an issue until Thursday when Warren pledged to start the discussion. The girls said they want to have a monthly event at a park or a campus to celebrate life and allow people who have experienced troubling things to band together.

Deborah Acosta, MISD drop-out prevention/recovery and at-risk coordinator, said the groups are meant to provide students a safe place to talk about their feelings. Because it is new, many students may not know about the program, but Acosta said she hopes it will continue to grow.

After learning what it feels like to lose someone they love and watch others hurt, Midland teenagers are trying to reach out -- even if just online -- and help others keep from making a choice that will cause enormous pain for others.