A colleague brought some Hershey chocolate back from the U.S. Our verdict? "Looks like shit, smells like shit, tastes like puke." We're seemingly not alone... ("essence of vomit and rotting flesh";"well rotted manure";"taste as good as anal surgery feels")

Advent/Advert Calendar
I've tried to keep my festive contribution true to the commercial spirit of Christmas, and it also offers a peek behind the scenes at malevole. Ugly naked molerats devise ideas for the site from a secret bunker, spurred on by hard drugs and promises of hair implant surgery. I'm sceptical about whether they'll manage decent material for all 25 advent days though, they're lazy little fuckers.

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Look, Kevin, it's great you like my site and everything, but er.. you really need to sort out that "overflowing with anger and hate" stuff...