Ted Lilly takes matters into his own hands the next night and plunks the third batter of the game, shortstop Edgar Renteria, in the hand. Mind-reading umpire Jim Wolf ejects Lilly and then has this exchange with Lou Piniella that was picked up by ESPN's microphones. (Thanks to Bad Officiating blog for this)

WOLF: He's donePINIELLA: Why?WOLF: Because he threw at himPINIELLA: How do you know he threw at him?WOLF: I know he did.PINIELLA: How do you know he did? WOLF: Because I was waiting for it. I knew it was going to happen.

Renteria then exacts his own revenge on Mike Fontenot by stealing second and leading with an forearm to the face on a pop-up slide, a play that would've made Ty Cobb proud.

So Lilly, whom we know can be quite temperamental at times -- slamming his glove to the ground, fighting his manager in Toronto -- throws over catcher Brian McCann's head Tuesday night. Warnings are given. The next night Jeff Bennett breaks Soriano's hand with a pitch. It should be pointed out both Derrek Lee and Ryan Dempster defended Bennett after the game. Still Dempster responded by drilling McCann in the ribs in the fourth inning. (I'm wondering why everyone's throwing at McCann?) And around and around we go.

Today we've got picture of calm Carlos Zambrano, last seen kicking the crap out of a couple of coolers, going against Tim Hudson, the guy who started this whole mess.

The Cubs called up second baseman Eric Patterson to take Soriano's spot on the roster and then stuck him in left, a position he hasn't played in Iowa since being sent down in April.

The Cubs and Braves are wearing uniforms from 1948 in honor of the Cubs 60th season on WGN. Bob Brenly and Len Kasper will be wearing duds from the day and a few innings will be televised in black and white (can't wait.) To get in the spirit, I'm banging this all on a manual typewriter.

I'm a sucker for all this throwback stuff. The game is in black and white with ancient and limited camera angles. Both teams lined up on the baselines for the intros, Bob Brenly looks like an extra from that Johnny Depp gangster movie they've been filming all over town. No offense, but I could've done without the anthem being done by a handbell choir, but that's just me.

First inning

It's hot, the wind is blowing out to left, I just finished lunch ... everything is right in the world. Bob Brenly makes a good point that it would've been fun had home-plate umpire Dan DeMuth gone with the giant chest protector. OK, wait, I take back everything I said about this old timey stuff. I hate it! No center-field camera? All the action is from a camera on the third-base line. No replays? Yunel Escobar grounds out to third. I think. Len and Bob keeps telling confused viewers to relax and enjoy. Well, I'm neither. Kelly Johnson pops out to short. Chipper Jones legs out an infield hit on a swinging bunt to the right side. I'm sure WGN is fielding all kinds of calls right now. Marge from Iowa wants to know what happened to the Cubbies. Mark Teixeira grounds to Lee, who steps on first to end the top half of the first.

The Braves uniforms are pretty sweet. Not much different than their current ones, except there's a "B" on their hat for Boston and lotta high stripped socks out there. Patterson flies out to center. Ryan Theriot grounds out to short. Wayne Messmer is doing the PA work from the crowd. Brenly makes another good point: Where are the photographers on the field? Lee bounces back to Hudson for the third out.

Scoreless draw

Second inning

It's good to know the commercials in bizzaro 1948 are in color and louder than the game audio. Brian McCann singles to center. Jeff Francoeur homers to left to give the Braves a 2-0 lead.Greg Norton bloops out to Mark DeRosa at second. Gregor Blanco flies out to left. Hudson singles to left. Escobar flies out deep to Jim Edmonds on the track.

Braves 2, Cubs 0

Ramirez launches one deep but Blanco catches up to it on the warning track in left-center. Kosuke Fukudome slaps a single to left. Soto singles to left. Edmonds, the only guy to bat in this inning who would've been welcomed on the 1948 Cubs, checks his swing. Edmonds bounces into a 4-6-3, inning-ending double play.

Braves 2, Cubs 0

Third inning

OK, and like the scene in "The Wizard of Oz" when Dorothy opens the door, everything's in color now. Thankfully. Let's hope there are no flying monkeys involved. Johnson grounds out to second. Jones flies out to Edmonds. Teixeira flies out to right and Zambrano fares much better in color with his first 1-2-3 inning.

DeRosa nearly takes off Hudson's head with a line drive comebacker to ends up in center for a single. Zambrano goes the other way with a single to left. Norton made a nice play in left to cut the ball off and DeRosa has to stop at second. Patterson bounces into a 4-6-3 double play and replays show he actually was safe at first. Theriot bats with two outs and DeRosa on third and bounces back to Hudson for the third out. Two on and no outs and you get nothing.

Braves 2, Cubs 0

Fourth inning

Zambrano strikes out McCann. Francoeur singles. Norton flies out to right. Hudson takes a called third strike.

Lee strikes out swinging. Teixeira robs Ramirez of a hit with a diving grab of a line drive. Fukudome flies out to left and the Cubs go down in order in the fourth. Since when did the newsroom become a construction zone? There's some guy running some major piece of power equipment somewhere that's shaking the entire floor and now two guys are in this closet that houses all the phone lines and stuff and happens to be right next to my desk and they're banging away on something.

Braves 2, Cubs 0

Fifth inning

Zambrano walks Escobar on four pitches to start the fifth. Johnson singles to right; Escobar stops at second. Chipper bounces into a 4-6-3 double play. Zambrano walks Teixeira. Soto saves a run as ball four was in the dirt. McCann chops one to DeRosa for the third out.

Soto fans to start the bottom half of the fifth. Edmonds does the same for the second out. I guess Len Kasper's car was hit and dented by a foul ball last night. DeRosa takes a called third strike on a fastball right down the middle and Hudson is having his way here today.

Braves 2, Cubs 0

Sixth inning

Zambrano strikes out Francoeur on a high fastball. Norton grounds a single to left past a diving DeRosa. Blanco grounds to DeRosa, who flips to Theriot for the out at second, but the throw to first is late. Hudson grounds out to third for the final out.

Zambrano digs in and swings and misses at a pitch in the dirt and eventually strikes out. Patterson singles past the shortstop. WGN asks which among velcro, vinyl, bikinis, something else and NASCAR is the best advancement since 1948. How about a vinyl and velcro bikini? Jones, bad quad and all, charges and makes a play on Theriot's swinging bunt for the second out. Lee flies out deep to center.

Braves 2, Cubs 0

Seventh inning

Escobar grounds out to second, interrupting the Bud Light Fan Cam segment. Johnson drills a one-hopper to short, where Theriot makes a nice play and just gets the runner at first. Jones bounes out to second and here's starting third baseman in the 1948 All-Star game "Handy" Andy Pafko to sing TMOTTBG.

And a belated welcome to everyone on the message board today. Sorry for the delay and my lack of chit-chat today. I'm trying to meditate before tonight's big softball game and may have accidentally hypnotized myself. Ramirez reaches out and pokes a single to left. "That's a good start," Pafko says. Fukudome grounds up the middle for a tailor-made double play ball but Escobar bobbles it and his only play is at first. Soto bloops a single to right. Ramirez holds up to see if it drops and has to stop at third. Edmonds drives home Ramirez with a flyball to right. Soto stays put at first and here's DeRosa. Full count, the fans are on their feet, Soto runs with the pitch and it's ball four. That's the first walk allowed by Hudson today. Piniella is going to let Zambrano hit and why not? Bobby Cox waddles out to the mound not looking good. I bet a light breeze could blow that guy over. That's it for Hudson, who threw 102 pitches. Jorge Campillo is the new pitcher and Zambrano swings at the first pitch and pops out to first. But the Cubs get one back.

Braves 2, Cubs 1

Eighth inning

Zambrano passes the 100-pitch mark as he walks Teixeira. And, no, I'm not getting paid by the word. In fact, I'm not sure I'm even getting paid at all. Clerical error, I'm told. That's it for Zambrano. Enter Scott Eyre. McCann doubles to the right-field corner. Teixeira, a rather large and slow guy, stops at third. They'll put Francoeur on to load the bases for Norton. So Eyre will have to pitch out of a no-out, bases loaded hoo-ha. Hey Norton chases a slider in the dirt for strike three for the first out. With Blanco up, Soto saves another run, knocking down a 1-2 slider in the dirt and way outside. Eyre then strikes out Blanco looking with, after all those sliders, a fastball right down the middle. Omar Infante will hit. Piniella goes out to talk things over and eventually lifts Eyre, who exits to a standing O. What the? Carlos Marmol finishes up his bullpen tosses with his customary 360 spin and simultaneous blessing of himself and heads to the mound. Marmol falls behind 2-0 and then throws three sliders for strikes to get out of the bases-loaded jam.

Blaine Boyer is the new Braves pitcher. Infante stays in to play left. Norton takes a seat. Patterson flies out to center. Theriot grounds to second. Two pitches, two outs. Sweet. Lee bangs one off the shortstop's glove. Blanco way the heck out in center and can't back up the play, so Lee digs hard and takes second on the play. As Brenly points out, Hudson's gone, the wind's howling out to left, righty Ramirez is up, put one in the bleachers already. Ramirez thinking the same thing swings and misses so hard his arms nearly fly off his body. He lays off a few and works the count full. Ramirez fouls a couple of pitches off and then draws a walk. Two on and two outs for Fukudome. With the crowd rhythmically chanting his name, Fukudome ... takes a ball. Excitement! Fukudome hits a wicked liner over the Cubs dugout that maybe maimed someone wearing one of those racist t-shirts. With the count evened up 2-2, Fukudome grounds to third where Chipper steps on the bag to end the inning.

Braves 2, Cubs 1

Ninth inning

Marmol remains. Escobar pops out to Lee in foul ground. Piniella lifts Marmol in favor of the lefty Neal Cotts to face the equally left-handed Kelly Johnson. Johnson doubles to right. Chipper, whose average has dropped from .419 to .416 today, strikes out swining, further dropping that average. So after striking out the Braves best hitter, Cotts first pitch to Teixeira goes all the way to the back stop on a fly, allowing Johnson to take third. After missing badly a couple of more times, they say "screw it" and put Teixeira on. Cotts strikes out McCann on three pitches.

Down a run in the dying embers of this game, it'll be Soto, Edmonds and DeRosa in the bottom of the ninth. Boyer stays on the mound for the Braves. Soto sends it deep to left but not deep enough for the Cubs. Blanco makes the catch on the track in left-center. Edmonds ties it up with homer the other way that just makes it to the basket. Len, who's been waiting all day to do this, does his best Jack Brickhouse "Hey-Hey." DeRosa grounds out to second for out No. 2. Cox has had enough of Boyer, so he does the perfectly sane thing in this situation, he calls for Will Ohman, who oddly is having a pretty good year. Ronny Cedeno will hit for the Cubs and quickly falls behind 0-2. Cedeno strikes out on four pitches but this one's tied up. And everyone can stop with the Jim Edmonds hatred, if they haven't already.

Cubs 2, Braves 2

10th inning

Enter Kerry Wood. Exit Jeff Francoeur, swinging at a high fastball. Ruben Gotay hits and flies out to right. The immortal Gregor Blanco chases strike three in the dirt. Soto throws down to first and that about does that. Wait, there's more?

Manny Acosta jumps in here to pitch. Patterson grounds out to a drawn-in Chipper. Theriot grounds out to short. Lee grounds out to short. Nothing doing.

Wood nearly plunks Infante with an errant slider. If Infante were smart, he would've leaned into that, knowing Wood's history plunking the leadoff hitter. Alas for him, he strikes out. Escobar lines out to DeRosa. Johnson lines a two-out double to left. Piniella strolls out to the mound probably to talk about what they want to do with Chipper. It's decided: They'll walk him to face Teixeira with a couple dudes on and same number out. Full count to Teixeira and Wood drops a breaking ball right in there for strike three.

Acosta walks Ramirez to open the 11th inning. We've got a softball game tonight, people. Let's wrap this up. Fukudome squares to bunt but Acosta pitch is way inside and goes to the backstop, allowing Ramirez to take second. Keep bunting? Well, no, because the Braves now will walk Fukudome. Soto takes two questionable strikes allegedly on the outside corner. Soto grounds a single to left. Ramirez is digging hard, third-base coach Mike Quade throws up the stop sign and Ramirez nearly runs right into him. Last season Ramirez actually did run into Quade. Probably a good call there. The left fielder got to the ball quickly in shallow left. That's it for Acoata. Jeff Ridgway is the latest, greatest pitcher to join this one and he hits Reed Johnson on the foot with the first pitch for a rare walk-off plunking.

Final: Cubs 3, Braves 2

Well, the Cubs weather Tim Hudson, hang around long enough and take this one, thanks to some timely hitting by Jim Edmonds and a high pain threshold by Reed Johnson. Thanks for reading, everyone. Softball game on!