From Bad Self-Talk to A Good God (Linkup)

I think to myself:You are not doing that right.
You’re coming off as a know-it-all.
Kids don’t love a mom who acts annoyed.
You always drop the ball with your husband.
You are being too selfish.
You are a continual mess-up.
God won’t bless that.

Condemnation. Like rain, it sure can pour down. Yet, somehow I have grown to think it’s an ordinary part of life. It’s like a fly in the house. Sure, it’s annoying, but I can deal with it. Sometimes, it even becomes familiar. Provided it doesn’t bother too much, we can co-exist.

But I wonder, how much does it hurt me to co-exist with condemnation?

Because when I think of it, I see that self-condemnation left unchecked…
leads to self-loathing and self-loathing left unchecked…
leads to self-inadequacy and self-inadequacy left unchecked leads to…
a fear-filled turned-in spirit that doesn’t turn-out towards God or others in faith.

Condemnation may not injure our current actions, but it sure impacts our future ones. It may not hold us back from dreams, hope and a future in the present, but it’s lasting effects do bite.

And yes, friends, I do know that God says, “There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus,” but sometimes I just don’t consider that in the moment – the moment when the thoughts move in as fast as a freight train.

Mostly, in that moment, I am just trying to get by, to live the hand of cards dealt – even when they leave me flushed with thoughts of how much I lack, what I can’t do and where I can’t go.

Sure, I hate those cards, but at the same time I am used to them. That doesn’t make them right though.

Yet, as I stare intently at those cards, wanting something more, my eye starts to focus on the King, the King who wears the crown. The King who is high. The King who can change the game.

I remember his love, I see his royalty and I admire his crown. I see something. I grab hold of something…

I realize the King’s love has already condemned condemnation.

Thinking of it in this way, allows me to grab hold of this truth.

His love is what changed – and changes – the game. And it is what changes my thoughts.

If I can keep my eyes fixed on what is love – Jesus – my thoughts will follow him. He will lead my mind in truth. The King will teach me the right way to go.

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart. Lu. 6:45

I know Jesus calls me towards obedience. I can’t help but think of this verse: take “every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?” 2 Cor. 10:5

I want to be obedient.

Next time, that hand is dealt and that fly buzzes, I am going to ask myself 3 questions:

1. How does Jesus see you in this moment?
2. Is this thought rooted from a place of Christ’s love?
3. Could I imagine Jesus speaking these words to me?

Perhaps, then, I can discard the things that trump his love and grab hold of the ultimate King of hearts. Perhaps then bad hands won’t be a precursor to bad actions. My eyes will be set on the King.

purposefulfaith

Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

Good brings good and evil brings evil – what will we choose? I love your three questions that you will ask to determine where the conversation in your head, heart is coming from. Jesus is our worth and His words are truth and love.
You speak from a place we all know and you have given us tools to use to walk this hard journey that we are on. I am grateful that you are heeding God’s voice in this. Have a blessed day!

Timely word for me, girlfriend! I’ve been battling that condemning voice since Saturday over a mistake I made. You know how the voice starts, “Someone who makes dumb mistakes like that shouldn’t be in ministry.” Then it just spirals from there. I feel like your post was just for me today:) Thanks for the encouragement!

I really never acknowledged that I am coexisting with negative self talk. This certainly explains why I am always waiting for the rug to be pulled out fron under my feet. I am going through a bit of a storm right now, but I am going to write your three challenge questions down as a prompt to defeat tbe voices that would keep me planted. Thanks Kelly!

Amen, you preach it sister! The King’s love has already condemned condemnation. His love IS a game-changer. Our thoughts influence our lives so much, but I like your 3 questions for testing our thoughts, especially #3: “Would Jesus say this to me?” I’ll try to remember to ask myself that!

I just love these words, they ring so true both Scripturally and in a human-heart, everyday-struggles kinda way. It isn’t just destructive to condemn ourselves, but disobedient to the King who condemned condemnation. Just love it!! Praying for your day to be one in which you live freely in His grace and love! : ) Thanks for writing and hosting!

Your words are powerful and full of truth, Kelly. I love that verse about taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. To the extent that we are able to do so, and invite Christ to renew our mind, we will find the freedom He has promised us! I look forward to reading your posts, dear friend, thank you for sharing your heart.

Such excellent writing Kelly- impressed. But more so impressed with your heart beating for His, not afraid to show your true colors while pointing others to the vibrancy of His love unfurled. Thank you.

Such great encouragement today, Kelly! I enjoyed the lines, “It’s like a fly in the house. Sure, it’s annoying, but I can deal with it. Sometimes, it even becomes familiar. Provided it doesn’t bother too much, we can co-exist.” How often does condemnation become a familiar, yet destructive force in our lives. God has already condemned condemnation. We just need to remember that when the flies are buzzing around! Blessings!!!! Lisa Murray

My self-talk is just sad, frighteningly sad. “Yet, somehow I have grown to think it’s an ordinary part of life.” That is the scary part when it just becomes a part of life, when I quit questioning it. I absolutely love your 3 questions to ask, Kelly! I need to post those around my house :). Thanks for your encouragement, friend.

Take every thought captive! Great reminder. I am so bad about negative self-talk. I want to be better. Jesus wants me to be better. This is a fantastic reminder to me. Thank you, Kelly, for being a fantastic cheerleader and leading us into a better knowledge of what Jesus wants for our lives!

Those three questions! I’m writing them out and putting them near my mirror and my work desk… sticky notes sticky with His acceptance of me “just as I am” as the old song says. Another beautiful post rich with His riches, Kelly! Much love, thanks for the soul nourishing for my day 🙂

Love is a game changer. Yes, indeed! Kelly, it was far too easy for me to relate to your post today. Condemnation and I have known each other in times past. It sounds as though we’ve both fought that battle. We’ll continue to encourage one another to keep our eyes focused right.where.they.should.be, on Jesus, okay? Have a beautiful day.

Oh, Kelly, I have been beating myself up so much and needed these words…your’s and God’s.
God created me as I am. He is growing me to be more like Him, so why…why do I say or think the things I think when I know better? Lessons are a hard sell sometimes, but I am a perpetual student and want to learn His ways for my life.
Praising God for you, sweet girl.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda

Kelly, I began working on my post last night. Then I read yours and noticed we kind of talk about the same thing. I love how the Holy Spirit works in our lives weaving even our thoughts together. I’m so thankful for this #raralinkup and how each one ministers to others. We may not get to read all of them, but God uses each one in someone’s life. Thankful for you! xox

Those are some great questions to consider first, when life is feeling a little crazy. Thank you for these encouraging words. I saw on Twitter yesterday that you were having some trouble with your blog- glad to see that everything is working again! I prayed for you!

Kelly,
I am so glad that, through Abby McDonald, I have discovered your site and the wonderful women who meet here! It has truly been a blessing. I have learned through asking myself some of the questions you suggest, that the negative voice in my head is the enemy at work. Over time, practice and calling upon the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me, I have become much better at telling the enemy to take a hike!! Thanks for the encouragement I received here today!!
Blessings,
Bev

Kelly, this is incredibly encouraging. Our thoughts can lead us down treacherous paths. I love the questions you posted for us to ask ourselves, especially, “Could I imagine Jesus speaking these words to me?” Thanks.

Kelly what a poignant questions – can I coexist with condemnation? I never thought of it like that. The answer would have to be no if I want the abundant life found in Christ. Thank you for the reminder “to take my thoughts captive” and think the way the King thinks about me.

Kelly, just linked up. God’s love TOTALLY changed the game. You are right sometimes it is so easy to let everything else creep in and not to trust in God. Yet the truth is we are seen. We are daughters (and sons) of the One true king. This One true king who put on the victor’s crown and overcame death and the grave. It doesn’t get better than that does it?!?!

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About Kelly

Who I am? I don’t fully know. As I figure it, I am still learning, still inching towards God to let his light shine on all he made me to be. But, one thing I have uncovered in this dim world is – I am a “Cheerleader of Faith.” Meaning, I cheerlead my own heart in truth, so it can walk by truth. Meaning, I get myself up, bruises and all, to figure out God’s leading. I listen.
Read more about Kelly

About Kelly

Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.
Read more about Kelly