Answers for October 2009

Vl’hurghhh – only a small postbag. I reckon people cannot find the answer button. Ho well, I will continue. WINNER for the fifth time – and yes I am going to get around to putting all the old answers up in the new format – is:

Tony Ellis

Question 1

Thiomersal, a preservative in some vaccines (and quite harmless in that context) was negatively named as the Allergen of the Year for 2002. What was named for 2007 (and for extra points: where can you buy it)?

Answer

Fragrance. And you can buy fragrance, among other sources, from Meryl Dorey!

Additional Answers

Somehow this question smells fishy to me. “the answer my friend is blowing in the wind” However you can obtain the answer from any fine purveyor of used socks. Or for that matter in the mixing dept of any perfumery

Fragrance – and they sell lots of different types at my local pharmacy.

Fragrance, and erm, any corner shoppe? However, multiple chemical sensitivity syndrome [i.e., not allergies] is actually scent-triggered panic attacks, so if someone complains of ‘scentsitivities’, don your bullet-proof vest, write your Last Will and Testament, and sensitively ask them to restart their anti-anxiety medications.

‘Fragrance’ despite there being no single recipe agreed upon. TV ads for 70s-80s evening soaps usually included ‘fragrance’ tie ins named for popular villains. Eight ingredients are listed for ‘fragrance mix I,’ topped by: Evernia prunastri (oak moss) extract I suppose the local nursery might provide material for a homemade extract.

A condom, used to buy them at the hairdressers after he cut your hair and singed the ends he would say “and something for the weekend sir?”

George W. Bush (You can buy him so long as you pay more than the oil companies did)

KRUD short for the compound Kevinohseven. Available at most chardonnay sales counters. Gives feeling of euphoria, followed by let down and sulphurous after taste.

Question 2

What three countries of the world are still using non-metric systems of measurement?

Answer

Myanmar, Liberia and some other place.

Additional Answers

Those fortresses of personal freedom: the US, Myanmar and Liberia

Burma (oops…Myanmar), Liberia and the US.

The culturally sophisticated countries of the USA, Libya and Myanmar

The United States, Alaska, and Hawaii

There is a certain humour to putting the USA in the same answer as Liberia and Burma. I hope the Liberians and Burmese are not too offended.

United States, Burma (Myanmar) and Liberia

USA, England, and some other backward third world has been superpower.

USA, UK, Eire, correctly because there were 12 apostles not ten

Question 3

Why did Burma switch from driving on the left (like its neighbours, India, Bangladesh, Thailand and Laos, and like its main car suppliers, UK and Japan) to driving on the right?

Answer

General Ne Win asked his astrologer how the country could be improved and was told “Move to the right”, meaning, like, politically. Ironically, not only was that the most redundant possible answer, but just about any other answer would have done.

Additional Answers

Isostatic rebound altering the coriolis effect. Also unforeseen side effect of being surrounded by metric countries.

“In 1970, the ruler of the country, Ne Win, interpreted a dream to mean that all traffic should keep to the right. However, virtually every vehicle is right-hand-drive, since there are still many old cars and buses driving around and almost all the modern cars are second-hand imports from Japan.” No crazier than Nancy Reagan organising her hubbie’s presidential schedule according to her suddenly very, very rich astrologer.

/Answer of the month/ Ne Win had a soothsayer who said “Sooth, move to the right”. Despite the fact the regime was already so far right it looked to be falling off the edge and nearly all the cars had (and still have) the steering wheel on the right, the government decided to change over.

Apparently they did it because the dictators are firm believers in astrology

Because Burmese citizens are never WRONG.

Because in a totalitarian state you can make these changes when you damn well like! Reminds me of Jeff Kennett in Victoria.

To avoid paying for converting imported cars? Or to confuse any locals trying to depart by car.

To counter the effect of cyclones.

Question 4

Edo Maajka is a Bosnian Muslim rap singer – why did he choose “Menart” as his recording label?

Answer

No other label would take him.

Additional Answers

They offered him an album deal and lots of money, besides they were unlikely to help with the garden remodel he was doing so why not play to their strengths?

‘Cause no one else would have him, and it would just be silly to think a Muslim rapper would choose ‘Womenart’.

All the other labels required a smeblance of musical talent before they’d sign anyone. Menart took anyone.

Because it sounds like menarche.

He is sexist?

The name ‘Menart’ doesn’t have ‘women’ in it. Or it was the only option on offer?

Who cares…. who listens to rap anyways?

Question 5

The world’s most repeated TV program is “Dinner For One” – refer to Dr Bob’s quiz for January 2009. How many times has this program been shown on British television?

Answer

Never!

Additional Answers

If it is a repeating dinner for one, should not it be named “reflux”

Nein!

47,000 people like to record it just in case ‘Its a wonderful life’ is not on at Christmas

Do they have TV in Britain? Must be why we have TV’s measured in inches still.

I suspect only once or twice – since it hasn’t appeared there for 30 years. It’s the Germans who love it – it appeals to the decidely strange German sense of humour.

I’d hazard a guess and say once.

More than zero times, and fewer than infinity times.

Never. Only the Germans are so debased as to think that Blackpool sketches are humor classics.

Question 6

///quiz200910Q6a.jpg///What is the guard saying?

Answer

No you can’t come in here, because if I let you in, all the others will want to come in too, and when the East Germans find out that I let people enter Austria through this gate (which is at Sopron, Hungary, 1989) they will all want to come in, and everybody else will want to come in and the Berlin Wall will fall and … and it will all be MY FAULT!///quiz200910Q6b.jpg///

Additional Answers

I know nuzzink? What else do guards say?

Richie, this is not a marvellous opportunity to buy a piece of history in the form of a bat signed by the entire touring party. You can only come out if you stop peddling that trash, Oh and by the way your fly is undone.

Guard: ‘Here in Iran, we are pleased to show our international inspectors that security for weapon-grade uranium is of the highest order here, with the latest technology available in the Middle East.’ Colonel, sotto voce: Unless Ichbal has his ‘little trouble’ again. Whatever you do, don’t say ‘T-i-t-a-n-i-c.’ UN Inspector: ‘Why ‘Titanic’?’ Guard: ‘ZOG!’ Colonel: ‘Damn it!’

“If you work with Spike Milligan you are expect to wear really silly hats.”

“No, I am not Benny Hill. You’ll have to look for Ms Mouskouri’s glasses in some other field.”

I believe the guard is saying (if its the guy with his back to camera) No I am not Richie Benaud.

Please sir, not here… We have Restrooms for that sort of thing!

You can not come in here unless you have a silly hat. That is the dress code!

Comments

Excellent web site, mate!

So sorry to hear about the ‘graduate of the Sweat Institute’ suing your fine selves. Best of luck with the barbarian hordes at our gates, and wielding the weasel repellent. Yours in Science.

Too easy.

Cheers

Hah!! “An email template will open that will allow you to send the answers using your own email software.” As long as your email software is MS outlook. Humph!

It is folly to bolt your door with a boiled carrot

This is awful for us gmail users – we have to click on the link, wait till outlook fires up and then cut and paste the template over. Even worse however – all of us previous winners prior to 2009 have now lost our meagre claims to fame because we no longer appear!!!