A sunny March day with spring finally coming to life seemed a fitting time to meet for another of Chris Dudzinska’s Dead Good Cake ‘n Chat sessions.

22 people arrived at Briar House in the middle of York to listen, learn and participate in / on the subject of death, dying, bereavement and all the associated choices, traumas and emotions associated with this difficult and yet mostly un-discussed topic which is common to us all.

Immediate attention was given to the teas, coffee and cake, all of which came in a variety of well received flavours.

The assembled and seated group quickly moved into discussions varying from “how many bodies can I bury in my garden?” to more pointed legal questions.

The group questions were answered by all involved including two subject specialists namely: event organiser Chris Dudzinska who organises funerals with a focus on making them very personal but without the large expense that is often associated with some Funeral Directors. Also attending to help with legal questions was Rachel Roche (Roche Legal, York) who is a Solicitor specialising in the support of families to help straighten out the sometimes complex pathways of the legalities relating to wills and probate etc.

Other specialists included Celebrants, Soul Midwives, Nurses experienced in end-of-life situations and of primary importance were those who had lost loved ones and just wanted to participate in any way they could.

The flow of the conversation was natural and the calm dynamic of the group resulted in no one person or particular topic dominating the event. Topics covered included ‘what happens if I die alone?’, ‘I want the most environmentally friendly burial possible’, ‘What happens if I die in my non-native country?’ plus several other good ‘link’ discussions. Rachel Roche answered several specific questions relating to Wills and made the point that having a Will written is easy to do and can save so much time, anguish, heartaches and family arguments if done when people are alive and thinking clearly and freely. This point backed up the all too common event of someone dying and not really stating what they want for their funeral and sometimes their ‘estate’, resulting in family arguments and disagreements at a time when emotions are understandably heightened.

Overall it was a really constructive group discussion with lots of positive feedback. The next session is booked for 15th May, 3.30 to 5pm, at Helmsley Arts Centre, Meeting House Court, Helmsley,YO62 5DW.

Chris Dudzinska2016-04-13T13:50:48+00:00April 13th, 2016|news|Comments Off on Review of the Dead Good Cake ‘n Chat event in March

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Testimonials

Jane Duncan Rogers

Chris of Last Wishes was nothing short of brilliant in how she helped us, both when my Dad died and then my Mum very soon after. Her attention to detail, knowledge and intention to give us good value for money was outstanding. Even to the point of bringing her own bamboo trestles for the coffins, by far the nicest I have seen. It is this kind of thoughtfulness and her good communication that made a difficult time so much easier.

I highly recommend Last Wishes, who simply want to give you what you want, with great service, and at the best possible price.

I. Knight, York

It has been a pleasure and a relief to meet you to discuss my funeral wishes with
you. It has been so much easier to talk about the details with you than with my daughter – however close we may feel. And yet, on the day, the details matter, and will help the funeral go smoothly and with dignity. My dearest wish is to cause my daughter as little distress and worry as possible.
I could not wish for anybody better than you to deal with the practical and necessary details regarding my bodily remains. It is reassuring to know that people like you – and your family – are there when needed the most.

Caroline, Slingsby

We used Last Wishes Funerals when organising my mum’s funeral. I had never had to organise a funeral before and I found it overwhelming. The information on the main stream sites didn’t seem to offer something that was appropriate for my mum but I didn’t really know what we wanted. Chris was amazing, she talked us through a natural burial and came up with ideas that made it a unique ceremony.

Having never organised a funeral before I hadn’t thought how important it was to have a place for the family to grieve after the funeral and her suggestion of the local eco friendly burial site provided a perfect place for quiet thought and reflection.

Chris Robertshaw

Just to simply say that Chris provided everything and more that my dear wife, Nicky would have wanted. Nicky’s bywords were ‘be the best you can be’ and Chris and Georgina (the Celebrant), left the family and myself feeling uplifted that we had done just that. I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to them both for the way everything was done without fuss, without formality – just with love and empathy. Every single person at the service said what a wonderful service it was and how well it matched Nicky’s warm and loving personality. My deepest heart-felt thanks. Chris, Esme and Kit.

Jane Duncan Rogers

That meeting you had with my sister, my Mum and Dad and me was just great Chris. Thank you so much. You clearly led us through all the different options in a practical but kind and compassionate manner. My parents are both alive still, but facing up to their end of life, and you were able to support them in doing this by facilitating them choosing what they wanted for their funeral. Surprisingly, it felt like we were organising a party! I think that is testament to how you were with us. I will be recommending you to everyone I know!

Sarah, York

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to you for helping us to arrange Tricia’s funeral, for all the effort you put in and the advice you offered. I remember how well you handled my friend Ian’s mum’s funeral in May last year, and so was delighted to find out that you would be free to help us say goodbye to Tricia. You were very accommodating and sensitive to our wishes and it was obvious that you put a lot of time and effort into getting to understand us as a family, and Tricia as a person, even though you’d never met her. Your reassuring presence on the day itself made sure everything went as smoothly as these things should. It was the prefect send-off for my rather quirky sister.

Rhoda

I’d like to express my appreciation for the lovely service you organised yesterday. So many friends and relations have said how moving and special it was for them.

Nothing can replace my loving daughter, but I now have memorable tributes to look back on.

With heartfelt thanks,

Christine, Urmston, Manchester

Just want to thank you so much for all your help and comfort just when I
needed it. I really didn’t know what I was doing and felt lost but you sorted
me and my girls out which is very much appreciated. I will definitely tell
family and friends how easy you made things flow, and I really wanted my
Howard in the hands of someone with empathy and who was spiritual. It
gave me comfort.

Victoria, Emma, Dawn and Ian, York

Just a note to thank you for all of your kind words of advice, help and
patience whilst dealing with our mother’s funeral. It really was the most
difficult time of our lives. However, you made it simple, straightforward and
reassured us kindly along the way.

Priscilla, York

The service was beautiful and I/we cannot thank you enough. And there are
no words.

Yvonne, Swanland, E Yorks

I know I said it on the day but I just had to drop you a line to make sure you
know just how grateful I am that you agreed to arrange Mummy’s funeral
(Oakworth, Keighley). It was just right.

Tricia and Tony Hornsea

Words can’t express our appreciation and gratitude for all your personal
help and support Chris. You’ve made a very difficult and sad time so much
easier. Thank you

Chris and Laura Nr Selby

Just wanted to say a huge thank you for today and for all your hard work
that made today as special as it was. We really couldn&#39;t of wished for
anything more and everyone said it was such a special send off for Gordon.
You really gave it that personal touch which meant a lot and you
should keep doing what you are doing! I want to take this opportunity to say
how touched we were in your approach towards us, you really are a
wonderful lady. We will definitely recommend you to anyone in the future.

Bob

Chris helped us to arrange my Mother’s funeral last month and we would not hesitate to
recommend her to anyone looking for a more personal arrangement than can be found at the
traditional funeral directors.

Chris meets you with no pre-determined ideas about what you want, her approach is to explore
what you expect from the funeral, encouraging you to be involved in the arrangements and
decision making, supporting you fully at all times.

As well as her open approach, Chris has a keen eye on the costs involved and aims to keep
them down with lots of alternative ideas, which also result in a much more personal connection
with the funeral.

My Mothers wish was to remain at home after her death and only be attended by Jacqueline,
her daughter in law. However, in the event, she died in hospital but Chris arranged for her to be
returned home the day before the funeral so she could spend her last night at home, with Chris
and Jacqueline attending to her.

At Chris’s suggestion, we chose to carry the coffin ourselves and I would recommend this to
anyone, if they are able, as I felt a very strong sense of purpose in doing this, the last thing that I
could ever do for my Mum. We had chosen a wicker coffin, much nicer than a wooden one and
it looked beautiful in the church on a rustic stand with our simple bouquets of flowers on top.
Finally we must say, my Mother’s funeral was a very dignified and deeply personal event and
we cannot thank Chris enough for making this possible.

We should also like thank the Vicar of St. Everilda’s, the Reverend Jeremy Sylvester for a warm and personal Service and Graham,
Chris’s outstanding driver, for his expert guidance and assistance.

Paul Medley

With Chris’s help, we were able to create a woodland funeral which met all our wishes. Chris was very sensitive and supportive, helping us through this difficult time. Thank you Chris.

Diana Mason

Our family would like to extend our heartfelt gratitude to Chris after the tragic loss of our son/brother/fiancé.
Her patience and understanding from start to finish enabled us to create a loving and personal farewell, and, at our request, a peaceful, warm, non religious ceremony.
Chris went above and beyond, being always available and making last minute changes for us.
We could not have got through it without her.
Many, many thanks.

Rosalind A Maggs

We had a lovely funeral for my mother, thanks to Chris, who was kind, caring and very helpful. We wanted a small, personal family funeral with refreshments at Middlethorpe Hall and it turned out to be a very happy day – a celebration of Mum’s life in which all the family took part. Chris was sensitive to our wishes and helped us every step of the way. A big thank you.

Sharon Erridge

Chris was amazingly helpful without being patronising.We had the personal funeral we wanted for my parents.(double funeral being unusual).would recommend her services very highly.

Ian Richardson

Chris made it so easy to conform to the wishes of my wife to have a very special funeral. It was as perfect a funeral as one could wish for.
Thank you for your help and understanding.

Maureen, Malton.

Chris has a very sensitive and understanding approach.

Martin, Malton

I would like to thank Chris on behalf of myself and my brother for the lovely way she organised our mother’s funeral. She was very helpful and sympathetic and I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend her to anyone who might need her assistance .

Jean, Durham

Arranging my son’s funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. A friend recommended Last Wishes as a funeral director who specialises in treating their customers as individuals.
Chris helped me to plan the day so that I could give my boy the kind of ceremony he would have wanted. She and her team helped with suggestions and explained the costs so that while the event was dignified and unique it was also kept to an affordable budget. It was a comfort to be so well cared for at a very painful time. I would like to say thank you to Chris and her colleagues at Last Wishes you made a difficult time a little easier to bear.

Trisha ,Jim, family and all of Andys friends, York

Thank you so much for your support and kindness during an unexpected and sad time. You made everything so easy for us and we all will be eternally thankful. You did my nephew proud. No doubt about that you are a true testament to the work that you do and I truly believe that you were meant to be where you are today. Thank you Chris and Catherine.

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