the past two weeks have been hell. yeah - i have no T right now. yeah - i'm having the devil's own time finding one. yeah - life sux. and yeah - i'm tired. i've been at the verge of tears too many times without cause. emotions have had their day in the sun.

but i'm also tired of whining. ok, so life sux. so life isn't going to get any better any time soon. i'm becoming one of those people i hate, that does nothing but sit on their butt and moan. if i'm going to complain, it needs to be about my struggles to recover, not my poor tired spirit.

if life sux, life sux. it's still better than the alternative. so i'm going to live it - bad and all. if i never get better, i never get better. at least i'll still be doing SOMETHING.

The thing is...life shouldn't suck...so, if it does for you (and it certainly does for me) then we have to want something better...and that's the part that's hard...having the STRENGTH to get off my ass and do something about it.

Other people don't get it...some feel sorry for me...some are nice...some indifferent...but, at least my wife is patient with me (most days) and wants to help me work on it.

So...please, please don't give up on life being good...it can be for us again...we just have to believe that...and don't kick yourself for being whiny...that's not so bad a thing to do...it really isn't.

You've offered me a lot of help in chat, sometimes with your wonderful dry wit, sometimes with your wisdom, sometimes just by being there and being willing to talk to me. I'm always pleased to see the magenta letters show up.

So, hang tough, man...i do know you are strong enough to hang in there. Let's both look for the day when life is a better place.

I'm with you,Russ/Rej

_________________________
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mark I have ben here you are at for several years . Life is a Shit Sandwitch , You can eat it or starve . I wish that I knew of a way to bring some happyness to my world . Because I would sure send some to you . When you are at the bottom of a pit there is no where to go but up

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