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If you have had two passes at suicide before starting Atripla, then perhaps you can't lay all the feelings today on Atripla. Rather, sounds like you have been depressed and suicidal for quite some time, which has been activated and worsened with the new medicine.

You need to call your doctor Monday, about the Atripla and the feelings. And maybe go to an emergency room today and tell them you feel in a suicidal black hole. At least, contact someone - family or friend or anyone really to come be with you right away.

How were your last suicide attempts followed up - any psychological therapy or drug therapy?

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ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Did the doctor who prescribed you Atripla know of your previous suicide issues? Knowing the potential CNS (central nervous system) issue with this medication I would think they would have not recommended this medication to you and instead have put you on one of the other recommended regimens.

I am really hoping someone can tell me if they have had the same experience... I woke up this morning and just felt SO down. So down that I am thinking about committing suicide....

I have had two major attempts in the last 12 months....but this is the lowest I have felt for a long time!

Has anyone else had this kind of reaction - I mean I am sitting here typing this and bloody crying.... just so down.... is it Atripla or my stupid head???

PLEASE call your doctor RIGHT AWAY.

You are likely suffering from a COMMON CNS (Central Nervous System) reaction to one of the components to Atripla - and with a history of major depression and suicide attempts you NEVER should hae been prescribed the stuff in the FIRST PLACE.

It's NOT YOU.

It's the DRUG.

Look, I don't normally say this about HAART, but this regimen - and more importantly, this drug (In the US it's called Sustiva. The technical name is Efavirenz and it is a crucial part of Atripla) can cause suicidal ideations. It caused this in me. Out of nowhere, too.

STOP TAKING THE DRUG. CALL 911/your emergency suicide hotline - and check yourself into a hospital for suicidal ideations if this doesn't stop before you can see your doctor MONDAY.

You are literally playing Russian Roulette with your life with every new Atripla you take.

And while you are at it, you might think about changing doctors. Anyone who knows their patient's history of mental disease and still prescribes Atripla is doing so out of financial reasons, and not out of regard for you, the patient. OR s/he does not believe the side effect is real, which also makes him/her ineffective. If you have been fully honest with your doctor, you should not be given a drug with such well known and potentially dangerous side effects.

PLEASE take this seriously, and DO NOT for an INSTANT blame yourself.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Thanks for replying = and yes my Dr knew about my depression and attempts - just didn't expect the FORCE of the feeling when I woke up today. My sister is coming over... thank god. But I'm truly surprised at the depth of the feeling! Is this normal to feel it so deep.....? Knocking me around..... Wow never thought a pill could do this...

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist

Thanks for replying = and yes my Dr knew about my depression and attempts - just didn't expect the FORCE of the feeling when I woke up today. My sister is coming over... thank god. But I'm truly surprised at the depth of the feeling! Is this normal to feel it so deep.....? Knocking me around..... Wow never thought a pill could do this...

Seriously, a pill can. Sometimes it takes months to manifest, but it does.

You need to call your DR - and I sincerely hope s/he will not be shocked at your symptoms.

I have had HIV since 1993. I have been on every first generation drug since AZT. Sustiva/Efavirenz fucked me up royally. I would actually KNOW I was chemically, not naturally depressed/anxious. Yet the urge to kill myself was VERY strong.

I cannot emphasize that enough. Yes, a pill can do that. Sustiva can.

Glad your sister is coming over.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Thankyou all SO MUCH!!! Really this is why this forum is a good/worthwhile thing cause I think if I hadn't gotten an answer that was logical so quickly I would have a knife at my wrist.... fuck me! No more Atripla for me....

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist

Pricho01, I'm happy to read that your sister is coming over to watch you And it's definitely a good idea just to stop taking Atripla until you can see a doctor and come up with a more suitable regimen.

Thank God for JK and Miss P..this is why I love these guys... they care and come to the rescue when needed the most.

I'm glad you are still with Pricho01, and I'm glad to hear your sister is coming over to sit with you..keep going and listen to the experts here, they will see you through any bad time you may be having.