Independent Thinker – Creator – Sensemaker

Thought experiment: who am i really ?

About a year ago, I did my “coming-out” of the Leading by Being program. That program led to the start of this blog in April 2009.

Leading by Being is in essence a deep search for yourself and how you function in groups and in the world in general. It’s trying to answer the question “Who am I ?”.

Read that again:

“Who am i REALLY ?”

A couple of weeks, i “lost” my right foot – luckily only temporarily. Reflecting a bit during my extra free time sitting in my sofa with my right leg in the air, i started doing the following thought experiment:

What if i would loose not only my foot but everything ?

My job, my lovely wife and daughter, my family, my friends,…

Would that change who i am ?

And more related to this blog:

Would i write about the same things

in my blog as today ?

And if about the same things,

would i write about them

with the same intensity ?

The answer for me is yes.

Yes, i would write about different things

Yes, i would write about the same things but with a different intensity

“Naked” is a term that refers to the idea of being vulnerable with clients, being completely open and honest with no sense of pretense or cover. The book looks at 3 basic and well-known fears:

1) Fear of Losing the Business – No service provider wants to lose clients or revenue. Interestingly, it is this very notion that prevents many service providers from having the difficult conversations that actually build greater loyalty and trust. Clients want to know that their service providers are more interested in helping succeed in business than protecting their revenue source.

2) Fear of Being Embarrassed – This fear is rooted in pride. No one likes to publicly make mistakes, endure scrutiny or be embarrassed. Naked service providers are willing to ask questions and make suggestions even if those questions and suggestions turn out to be laughably wrong. Clients trust naked service providers because they know that they will not hold back their ideas, hide their mistakes, or edit themselves to save face.

3) Fear of Being Inferior – Similar to the previous fear, this one is rooted in ego. Fear of being inferior is not about being intellectually wrong (as in Fear of being Embarrassed) it is about preserving social standing with the client. Naked service providers are able to overcome the need to feel important in the eyes of their client and basically do whatever a client needs to help the client improve – even if that calls for the service provider to be overlooked or temporarily looked down upon.

The last one is in my opinion also related to your relation with your employer and how prepared you are to stick out your neck, and to evangelize your ideas, because you have a genuine desire to make your employer succeed and improve.

The worst than could happen is when your employer gives you a negative appraisal for sticking out your neck, or pushing change too hard. Especially if you are part of the innovation team. Though everybody in the company has creative juices and is an innovator.

How much do you once again want to compromise your own authenticity and just go on ? Or are you prepared to go through the resistance of big changes and boldly daring to pursue your own dreams as suggested in Seth Godin’s Linchpin ?

Or how long are you prepared to you hide in your own shadows and have your will broken ?

In Leading by Being, one of the exercises was to think about one of your “shadow”-sides, some negative something about yourself, something that you would not like others to identify you with, such as being arrogant or manipulative or … and then the do a play-role yourself “playing” / “acting” that shadow role for 3 hours. It’s pretty confrontational !

What if i would start blogging under an alias

to express those shadow thoughts ?

It’s an interesting thought experiment that helps you assess how Trapped or Free your are in your worldviews.

Yes, i am still trapped

But much less then a year ago

What would you like me to explore further ? What different things would you like most ? Where would you like to see a different intensity ?

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3 Responses

I’m not sure if this comment qualifies as feedback, but I want to answer the question (I guess for myself): what do you do when your employer gives you a negative appraisal for being exactly what they hired you to be – a rebel….
IGNORE EVERYBODY!

And what I mean is, looking at your post on Maslow and Barrett’s hierarchy of needs, when your job is in level 7 (Making a difference), you don’t need an appraisal to tell you how well you are doing. Appraisals are the wrong tool for a level 7 job – they are at the level of Recognition (at most), or pure compensation (basic physical needs).
So I would continue to make a difference, whatever it takes. And look for my measurements where they really are – the people for whom I make a difference.

My experiences with customers are in line with the anlysis of the 3 fears

In the end, when the customer feels and sees that your are doing sincerely the maximum to help him to solve small or big problems, it is natural that the trust in the relationship will grow.
It is also about the whole organization being customer centric.
Everything being equal, it is my experience that winning companies (or organizations) are really customer centric. Of course, the offered products and services are differentiators. However, on top of everything, there’s customer centricity. And sometimes it is not easy to make this customer centricity a permanent reality . Christian