Hot Kevin From Chem Now Just Mediocre Kevin In Film GE

WESTWOOD—After sharing ten weeks with classmate Kevin in Chemistry 14B, second-year Biology major Marissa Johnson was disappointed to find that the same boy, now in her film GE, had been stripped of all his hotness.

“I really don’t get it. I swear just last month in chem he had a sparkle in his eye, and a warmth to his presence that could change the entire dynamic of a room. Even just catching him glancing at me would make my entire week,” said Johnson, who found herself beginning to notice that the aesthetically pleasing Warby Parker glasses of boys in her film class were putting Kevin’s once-erotic nerdy glasses to shame.

“Now whenever I see Kevin in class I just tolerate his features. Instead of seeing that breathtaking smile that warmed me from the inside out in chem, I just look at him and think ‘Hey, this kid’s got nice teeth.’”

“Like, I bet he probably had braces for a few years in high school and has had maybe only two cavities tops.”

Johnson added that although the boys in her film class make her want to turn her North Campus stunt into an “every quarter thing,” she is also afraid of enabling any similar context-related repercussions that may affect her perceived hotness.