Job Posting “Deliberately Implausible”

allen

4 years ago

There was a study done a few years ago by Microsoft that showed that those infamous Nigerian scam emails were written with terrible English grammar for a reason; it was an easy way way to implicitly filter for the gullible types who’d be more likely to fall for the scam to begin with.

I sincerely hope that whoever wrote this awesome job posting is employing the same tactic, as the alternative explanation is much more depressing. Some features:

So digest this ad, accept your fate, and take one last lap around your office to say goodbye to your friends because you’re about to upgrade.

On Leaving Whatever The Fuck You’re Doing Now:
Don’t fucking worry about it. They’ll find somebody else and you’ll be off balling with a fresh start. It doesn’t matter if you have a great job, shit job, or you’re marathon’ing through X-Files on Netflix while collecting unemployment. Mulder and Scully will be right where you left them, and your ex-coworkers will stay in touch too but honestly fuck ’em, you’ll have new, better friends.

Send us some self assessed scores for the job requirements listed above. — Don’t you fucking bullshit us, we’re going to find out during the Skype call so don’t waste your time or ours. I’m fucking serious if you’re thinking about putting a 9/10 for Javascript and you don’t know what a closure is you’re responding to the wrong ad. — Answer honestly, maybe we don’t give as many fucks about Javascript as you think so 6/10 is fine.

We do not encourage or display profanity levels above the social norm in the work place. As such, profanity will not be accepted in lieu of skill.

Call me old and curmudgeonly, but I prefer my job descriptions to be a tick more professional.