I'm a 16 year old girl, and I've recently discovered that I may be gay or bi. I have crushes on a few of my female friends, one in particular. I could go on forever about her, but to sum it up: she's amazing; we both love art and are quite talented; we're both computer geeks; and we will likely go to the same art college. She is basically me, but 10 times better in every single way. I don't believe this is a shallow type of crush either. She's not a Skanky McSlutSlut. But anyway, to get to my point, I'm crazy about her. I absolutely cannot stop thinking about her. I'm not a great socializer, and it really surprised me how kind she was to me right off the bat. Thing is, I'm not sure if she swings that way or not. She has a boyfriend, which may seem like a clear answer, but I say not necessarily. She made one comment in particular to me that really sparked my curiosity. After describing a "silly" dream her b/f had about her breaking up with him for another girl, we'll call her A. She laughed it off saying "[b/f], you're crazy, I wouldn't leave you for A. [me], maybe." That last part she said slightly jokingly, but it almost sounded serious. Like when you throw something out into conversation just to test the water, and if it creates an awkward situation you disclaim it with a half-hearted "j/k". That's exactly what happened. Am I completely insane for thinking I've got a shot with her? And if no, how can I find out her orientation/interests without making it clear that I want her? If she knew and the feeling wasn't mutual, it might ruin our friendship. Help.

I think testing the water would be a good idea. Mention something along the lines of how much you envy lesbians for X or bring lesbians up into the conversation somehow. The trick is to be subtle, only mentioning it once shouldn't arouse any suspicion in her.

Many girls go through a phase of being curious and experimenting. Nearly all of my friends are girls and more than half of them have gone through it, but only one of them ended up coming out. I am in no way saying that you are not gay or bisexual, that is up to you to find out for yourself. But this girl may be curious, she may be up for experimenting but there is a good chance that it would go no further than that. Having a crush on someone of the same sex is a lot harder than normal, there is a higher risk of being disappointed. So I suggest that you try your best to not get too obsessive (everyone does it) about her until you find out if you have a serious chance with her. It will save you from heartache and the possible persecution that sadly goes hand-in-hand with being gay.