The truth is that domestic violence and violence against women touch many of us. This violence is not a private matter. Behind closed doors it is shielded and hidden and it only intensifies. It is protected by silence – everyone's silence. Violence against women is learned. Each of us must examine - and change - the ways in which our own behavior might contribute to, enable, ignore or excuse all such forms of violence. I promise to do so, and to invite other men and allies to do the same.—Sir Patrick Stewart

I’m Fierce Somewhere Inside

“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.”—Rosanne Barr

Soon I have to face the task of picking up my property from my ex-narcissist. I’m debating with myself about the need for police presence or just a third party witness. There is no question in my mind that I will never be alone with him again.

Somewhere, I’m not sure if it’s in my head or my heart, there is a very fierce woman. She knows exactly how she would handle this situation. She would walk boldly into the house, look up into his face, right in the eyes, and say

“If you lay a hand on me, I promise you that, first, I will press charges. Second, I will take out a restraining order. Third, when your daughter asks me ‘Mom what happened to you?’ I will answer her truthfully with ‘Your dad did this to me.’ and she will finally see you for the abuser you are. And then, I will take a picture of your abuse and shame you publicly. I will use every scrap of writing talent I have to craft the most viral content I can. Every woman with a daughter will share my post so she can avoid you. Every woman with a son will use you as a lesson in how not to behave. Every man will willingly spread your shame to protect the women in his life and to proclaim ‘Men will no longer tolerate pieces of trash like this representing our gender!’ So, ex-narcissist, please have a seat and wait quietly over there until I’m finished.”

The fierce woman inside of me is, of course, ready to make good on those threats. The not so fierce part of myself would do all of those things too, but the idea of confrontation is too much.