Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Is It Me??

There are a few times of day I despise in this household. If the husband is at home I don't dislike them that much, but when he's at work...I hate them. Yes, I can use the word hate because that's how much I don't like them.

The first is getting out the door in the morning for our walk - or for anything really. It goes something like this:

Baby wakes up crying. Needs fed. Toddler wakes up. Needs fed. Doesn't understand why she must wait and a breakdown ensues. Baby finishes eating, poops, change diaper. Then it's time to change the toddler out of her night-time diaper and into another one. Toddler is still pissed - especially since I take even MORE time away from her breakfast to get her dressed and do her hair - making sure to remind her NOT to take off her shoes 23908409248 times in hopes she listens. Doing all this may or may not result in a time out due to her hitting because she's pissy because she's hungry and grumpy. Finally feed her and all is happy in toddler world.

Then the baby starts crying again. Get her dressed and the toddler comes in her room to happily announce she took off her shoes. I put them back on. I then place the baby in her crib and I get dressed - praying she won't spit up on me. Baby starts crying because her mobile stopped turning. Can hear the toddler getting into things she shouldn't be and call for her. No toddler shows up. Grab the baby - go to put her in the car seat and low and behold - here comes the spit up. Damnit. Time to change. I change. Put baby in car seat, load up bags, grab toddler's shoes she took off AGAIN and put them on. Grab everyone, get ready to hit the alarm to the house and walk out the door and then the toddler says so sweetly "did you go poo poo?" I sigh, look at her and ask if she did. She says yes. RAR.

Undress toddler, change her diaper, get clothes and shoes back on. Get everything packed up again and get ready to walk out and then hear the baby poop. Are you fricken kidding me? Take her out of the car seat, change the diaper, go to put her back in the car seat and I get spit up on again. Change clothes for me. Then pack everyone back up, put the toddler's shoes back on AGAIN, get out the door...FINALLY. By the way...this is without me showering (I usually shower after my walk). I am now frustrated and pissy and REALLY needing my walk.

The second time of day I hate is bedtime. The toddler's bedtime coincides with the baby's witching hour. I have now been bathing the toddler early to ease some of the tension that happens. But it's inevitable. When I am alone...it's gonna happen. 7:00 - the baby starts fussing. The toddler is eating dinner and I am trying to calm the baby and tend to the toddler who is now mimicking the baby and wanting attention too. Toddler is done eating - have to put the baby down who is now even more pissed and screaming even louder. I clean the toddler up - get her out of the high chair and run back to the baby who is beyond pissed. Cuddle the baby for a bit - realize it's now getting even closer to the time the toddler has to be in bed. Toddler isn't cleaning up toys or listening - but is acting out because the baby is screaming and I am holding her. Finally have to talk sternly to the toddler to clean up her toys - giving her a choice of me cleaning them up (which means they all go away) or her doing it. She gets it done and now it's time to change into pjs, brush teeth, call daddy, read a book and get into bed. To do this, the baby has to be alone. I put her in her crib with the mobile. She is quiet for all of 30 seconds as the mobile goes around - then she starts screaming. Leave the toddler - start the mobile back up. Repeat about 3 times. Now baby just continues to scream and scream - is mad at the mobile - is mad at mommy - is mad at the world. Toddler isn't listening - wants to play and do everything to get out of going to bed. Finally I am able to get her into bed (with threats of time out if she gets out of bed) - go into the baby's room who is now about to die because she's screaming SO loudly with a billion tears streaming down her face. It's heartbreaking. The toddler can semi-understand to wait - the baby can't. Get her in her pjs, change diaper and feed and then put into crib and shut the door. Come out to the couch...just about in tears...sit down and exhale for the first time the entire day.

Listening to the baby cry for almost an hour is enough to drive anyone crazy. I feel I can't skip out on the toddler every night just because the baby is crying. It's not fair to her. She needs mommy time because our time has become super limited since the baby joined our family. It breaks my heart the toddler suffers because of the baby. It breaks my heart the baby has to scream her pretty little head off in need of mommy time as I am tending to the toddler. I just CAN'T be two places at once and it sucks. Really sucks.

Seriously...how do moms do this without going crazy? The toddler is 2.5 and the baby is just shy of 5 months. There are moms that have four kids that can do this without so much of a breakdown. Are their kids further in age? Do the older siblings help the younger ones? Is it just two that makes it more difficult and if we had three it wouldn't be as hard? I feel like I am failing. What am I doing wrong here?

I know it won't be this hard forever - but when you are in the middle of it - it sure feels like this is how life is going to be for a very long time. Sigh.

6 comments:

As a fellow FF wife I completely understand this frustration. I'm already dreading life with a toddler and baby and I'm not even pregnant yet. You're right, it won't always be like this...but its hard to see that when it is like this. You're an awesome mommy and you're doing a great job!

Oh wow Denise....I feel all stressed out for you now, after reading all that...lol! I wish I had an answer for you. Unfortunately, as I see Linda with her two boys, she has the same problem and they are a tad bit older, but then I see the blogger MckMama and wonder how the heck she does it or she just doesn't show the rough moments, who knows. I hope someone can answer this for you. *hugs*

Aww...=( I think I would cry too. I'm sorry these two times of the day are so tough for you...I wish I could come help you everyday...I hope that as the routines get more routine and the baby gets a little older it will get easier for you.Luff you!

you're not doing anything wrong, i can guarantee it! And just remember that the big kid will remember the giggles and love - not the little nuances that are pissing you off. It's NOT easy (for any of us)...so one day at a time. Hell, one minute at a time, right?? Just remember you love them and that's all that matters.

While I'm not a mom, I did work at home every day with a baby and a toddler and there were a lot of days where I didn't think I would make it.

There isn't much I can say that will be comforting. You're in for a lot of frustrating days. However, it does get easier as time goes by, not easy, but easier. Things change, kids grow, and at some point it comes to a semi manageable level.

Also, you might not believe it now, but you will be happy that you were there for your kids while they were little. The growth comes faster than you could ever believe and as long as the days seem, when you look back it will feel like they passed quickly.

Just hang in there, know you're not alone, and as crazy as they seem sometimes, your kids love you.

Oh, and let it be confirmed that there are others of us out there that feel like we are going to lose all our hair multiple times a day, multiple times a week!