Tuesday, 12 December, 2006

PAIN Can I handle pain?

Can I cope with the death of a loved one? I often have these questions posed in front of me at times when I hear about the death of a person I know. Here I am not talking about physical pain but the pain inflicted by death of a loved one. I do not mind dying but I know I will never be able to bear the void left by passing of a loved one. People do say time heals every pain. I doubt. It is easy said than done. I have seen people coping with this pain and moving on with life as if they had an alternative option. But for me it is something unfathomable. Should we love someone so much that it becomes impossible to think of a life without that person? Should we love less to make pain less painful? Should we love only oneself and nothing else! Since life is so uncertain, should we bother about blossoming of a relationship which can end on a death? Can we contain death? What happens after death to that person?

Here I would to quote from “The Speaking Tree” “Why can’t we endure pain? There is no way one can avoid feeling pain in the course of one’s life. So why not accept it gracefully when it comes? It could be pain stemming from separation-maybe the death of a loved one or injustice you experience at work or home. When faced with an emotionally draining situation, it is indeed difficult to say ‘I shall endure this; I don’t need an escape tool’. But we have got to try. For it is only endurance that takes you away, broadening your perspective and impelling you towards infinite horizons. Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain? And could you keep your heart in wonder at daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy. And you would accept the seasons of your heart. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Feel the pain, recognize it, and deal with it as another part of life. Then it will touch your core and help you navigate life’s up and downs. A painful episode in your life could serve as turning point that made you see the positive side with greater appreciation. The next time you are faced with pain, look pain in the eye. Endure it. Don’t try to drink it away. “