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Spoiler alert…..friend zoned again.

So back in the summer I encountered a numerous amount of random inquiries from guys I hadn’t seen nor talked to in years. Remember i wrote on my 33rd birthday, my 33 reasons of what I wouldn’t do anymore? Well one of my 33 reasons on what I wouldn’t do was close off new opportunities to meet a new guys. So I decided to try to be open to some long distance conversations, and boy did I enjoy this! I had space, yet I couldn’t wait to talk to this particular inquiry… He consistently sparked my intellect, was totally on the same page as me artistically…. just all around the dopest guy I’d met in years. But… the biggest issue was that we were 22 hours apart. Although he honestly was the most consistent guy in my life at that time… the reality set in about 2 weeks ago. The cool part about our short lived, long distance conversation, relationship…. (lol what ever you want to call it) is it was a refreshing growth spurt for me. We both in a very mature way decided that we were in two different places in life. He literally wasnt moving to Dallas anytime soon.. and I honestly cant go home to Maryland just yet. Plus… this told me he obviously isn’t who God sent me. How do I know?…well.. my theme for this year and consistent prayer to God has been about sending me a man who is prepared to pursue me relentlessly. He will not allow distance, a lake, a mountain, the airport, the train route, the hike up a hill, a broken heart, fear, busy lifestyle, or a broken past get in the way of his pursuit. Listen, the man will do the Impossible to keep me in his presence. I know it may sound unrealistic… but uh.. I know it’s possible. My focus has shifted back to Pursuing Christ and not letting any more distractions get in the way of my walk. Trust me, it hurt a bit when I saw that this guy I met and felt connected to wasnt going to work out. I’d be lying if I said I was cool with it. But the blessing in this is I’ve learned how to take it in perspective. So what… I’m back in the friend zone. Doesn’t mean I failed.. it just means God has the plan. God is not ever going to allow someone to half way come into my life. He wants His best for me… and not saying that guy wasnt awesome.. but the man that is being crafted for me is still out there. This is a process… and I’d rather go through the journey then to force a relationship to exist. So… I look at it this way.. I have gained yet another awesome opportunity to learn about myself. That it’s ok to stand for something instead of falling for everything. I’ve learned that the world is big, and God has a lot of things he needs me to focus on before I am to meet whom he has prepared for me. So for those of you going into this holiday season single… know that it’s ok. Know that there is nothing wrong with you, know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Know that you dont need a part time love to get you through the cold months. Turn on your heater, wear a onesie…drink some hot chocolate and take a look around at how blessed you are. Hang out with family and friends, serve, dive into your word.. allow this time of solitude to speak to your soul. God knows the desire of our hearts, but needs to see the feet to our faith. Switch your focus and know that being friend zoned… isn’t the worst thing that can happen. Think of it as a way of God moving the chessboard pieces around. Every move is calculated until He yells out..Check Mate! So… until then.. I say bring on the friend zones… let’s keep this process of elimination going. When He blesses me, it will be someone with a relentless pursuit no matter the obstacles. There will be no confusion, hesitation nor fear. He will be guided by God in all he does. So hate to spoil it for you loves, but yes the journey to freedom in my love department is a little different than most. Nope, this is not a Disney fairytale… but I’ll have you know it’s been quite a cool story thus far. Every young gentleman I’ve met has taught me something new about myself and what I like/what i dont l I’ll like. And honestly, I’m ok being patient through the process. All good things come in time…so…let the wait continue…. I know I’m worth every second. #relentlessPursuit #glowupseason #Godsplan #knowyourworth #livelifeFreely

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2 thoughts on “Spoiler alert…..friend zoned again.”

Girl, I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging the things I’ve been feeling lately in my own “love life.” He is faithful and we are his daughters – unworthy of His love apart from Christ, but because of Christ we are not only loved by Him, but worthy to be pursued relentlessly by a man who loves Christ above all else. Praying for you!