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Monday’s Mantra: Don’t Take It Personal

I think I deserve a pat on the back for growth. Rarely do I ever toot my own horn about anything, but nowadays I have to celebrate the fact that I’ve made some strides in a rewarding direction. There used to be a time when I would take everything personally. The weight of a conflict, letdown, or confrontation was a burden that I believed had everything to do with me and how I may have initiated or reacted to the disturbance. I often proceeded to carry the blame for things that I should’ve let fall away like the leaves from a tree on a brisk autumn day (is it just me or did this season waltz in quickly like it’s ready to put on a show stopping performance?). While I may not have held any grudges toward the parties involved, I allowed myself to be far too consumed with the ways in which things had escalated and why someone could be so discourteous with little regard for my feelings. I think one of the reasons why I’m not too fond of merry-go-rounds is because I had one that was constantly spinning in my head. I’d go round and round with myself only to feel irritable and drained once I decided the ride in my brain was closed for the day.

It only took a few years for me to learn that a surefire way to exhaust your peace is to walk around being angry and offended. I’ve lived long enough to know that there will be people in life who will do and say things that will make you scratch your head or want to let out a few expletives (again, God is not finished with me yet!). There will be words that sting and actions that hurt. But, you can’t take it personally. The truth is that most of the time people’s responses have nothing to do with you. This is why you’ll find yourself in situations with people where the apology or discussion you want will never come. You’ll be told a lie before they realize you would’ve respected them more with the truth, and you may even have to settle with being wrong when all the evidence says you’re right. And guess what? You can’t take it personally. People respond in life based on their individual experiences and perceptions. Some responses will be favorable and some you’ll wish they had been counseled on before you crossed their path. Either way it’s not something you can control since God works on all of us in different ways and at a different pace. Why give energy to what you can’t control when it’s a battle you were never meant to fight?

I can assure you that the less you take personally, the more years you’ll add to your life. So, stop being mad and start being mindful of what you allow to rest in your spirit. Everything and everyone isn’t meant for you to handle. And something tells me you weren’t meant to slay other people’s giants!