The Secret Is Out

I’ve been keeping this secret for sometime and it appears I can’t hide it any longer. For days my co-workers have been speculating about the nature of my disease, but now the truth is out. One of them spotted me buying Halls Menthol at the corner store.

I thought I would be excused from having a bad cold this season. I’ve been mistaken. I’ve taken all the precautions. I’ve washed my hands as often as I could and not stop washing until I’ve finished singing ‘Happy Birthday’ mentally. I’ve avoided suspicious carriers of the virus, not even looking them in the eye. I’ve consumed gallons of orange juice. After fighting a heroic battle, however, I’ve finally succumbed to the allergens in the air and the unusually capricious weather at this time of the year.

Yesterday was such an agony at work. I had to attend several meetings. I felt OK when I was by myself in my cubicle, but my misery started when I went to the first meeting. In the company of my co-workers, my throat started to itch and could only be relieved by coughing. I tried everything to suppress it. I tried clearing my throat by drinking water from the bottle. I tried crossing my legs one way and then crossing them the other way. I tried singing ‘I Gotta Feeling’ in my mind. I tried not to yawn at the presentation. But nothing worked. And so I had to cough three times in succession. To my surprise, two of my co-workers started coughing too. It was then that I realized we were in a game of chicken. Everybody tried his darn best not to cough first in the presence of the boss.

Today my cold has turned for the worse. I feel lousy and and terrible. I feel like a worn-out winter coat hanging in the closet. People have noticed that even my voice has changed and I’m past puberty. I think I’ll go to bed early tonight for a change. Hopefully, I’ll feel better tomorrow.