The Entertation Index: May 31

Books, FrenchChildren’s – Just for fun, check out this link from the UK’s news outlet The Guardian of fourteen horrific images from French children’s books. Oh, you French. You’re all so weird. We gotta keep our eyes on you.

Bourdain, Anthony –Celebrity Chef, Kitchen Confidential author and Travel Channel personality has announced plans to leave the latter and join CNN’s television lineup in 2013 with a regular Sunday night program about international food. The first episode is rumored to be just thirty minutes of Dr. Sanjay Gupta trying to figure out how the hell Anthony Bourdain — after supporting a cocaine, LSD and heroin habit, drinking and smoking nonstop and eating undercooked fish and meat in filthy outdoor bazaars for the last forty years — is even still alive.

Link: Anthony Bourdain Leaves Travel Channel for New Show Next Year on CNN (NY Daily News)

Kidman, Nicole — Director Lee Daniels, whose upcoming movie The Paperboy has been in the news lately after it was revealed that one scene features actress Nicole Kidman urinating on heartthrob Zac Efron, has come forth to explain that the scene was necessary because the narrative featured Efron’s character being repeatedly stung by jellyfish and Kidman’s actions to sate his pain. This doesn’t change the fact that, finally, weirdos everywhere who are google searching “Nicole Kidman pee” or “Zac Efron peed on” will finally find the search results for which they’ve been longing.

Meyer, Stephenie — The Twilight series creator has admitted that she hasn’t read current best-selling phenomenon Fifty Shades of Grey, despite rumors of having inspired its author, telling press that it’s “not my thing.” Meyer claims she just can’t get into the S&M thing, which is ironic because she’s been gleefully inflicting pain upon readers and moviegoers through the Twilight saga for the last six years.

Spears, Britney — Pop songstress Britney Spears reportedly walked off the set during her first day as a judge of Fox’s “The X-Factor” after becoming agitated by hearing a lackluster contestant perform her song “Hold It Against Me.” NOW YOU KNOW HOW WE HAVE FELT FOR YEARS, BRITNEY.

Link: Britney Spears Walks Off the Set of “X Factor” On Her First Day (Mega 94.9)

Valderrama, Wilmer — That 70s Show star Wilmer Valderrama is reportedly being sued in the L.A. County Superior court by a neighbor who claims that Valderrama’s constant partying has become a nuisance, citing “ongoing and continuing loud music and disturbances from the property” all day and night. The plaintiff also would like compensation for impairment to his eyesight from numerous Ed Hardy shirts and damages for the time spent picking up discarded fedoras tossed over the fence into his yard.