>The fact is most fat people live in the Bible belt and most for the most part most of them are hard core Christians. Yeah yeah yeah I can hear you all now saying, “Southerners are a bunch of dumb fucks” That may be true… well it is true but sometimes even stupid people get it right once in a while. There is no denying that when it comes to sloth and gluttony the South is the clear winner but it gets better. If we ignore things slavery, segregation, lynching, gay bashing, racism and the Ku Klux Klan hardcore Southern Christianity has one major thing going for it. It’s called salvation through faith or salvation by faith. This is even a better deal than buy one Whopper and get free fries and a drink. You don’t even need a lot of faith or have it for more than just a few seconds and BAM you’re in heaven when you die.

When it comes to being a slacker, a scoundrel and a fuck up Hitler wins the gold medal. I think the reason he hated Jews so much was because they go through this atonement garbage and actually pay for their sins but who has time for that. If Hitler every tried to make amends to the millions of people he killed and maimed he’d be kissing ass for the next 10 centuries. Like Hitler we fatlings don’t have time for that atonement crapola or some Buddhist crap although that Muslim stuff about rivers of win and the 72 virgins that get retreaded is a pretty good deal for just killing some infidels. I’d do it!

Anyhoo, in the above video the master orator himself, Adolf Hitler, explains in very clear terms how salvation through faith worked for him and how it can work for you.

For those of you who are practicing Christians and are still feeling guilty about your gluttony, allow me Fat Bastard to put your minds at ease by sharing with you the following scripture on obesity.

First of all, it is important to understand that God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too.

The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. — Isaiah 34:6

God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to to them to make them nice and fat.

Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field … Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth … And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. — Ezekiel 39:17-19

God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are always skinny.)

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. — Proverbs 13:4

He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. — Proverbs 28:25

Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree … they shall be fat and flourishing. — Psalm 92:12-14

Sure there are verses in the Bible that call for the death of fat people but God was probably in a bad mood when he said the following and besides the best way to be a fat Christian is to be a cafeteria Christian.

Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, Proverbs 23:20

and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Proverbs 23-2

Don’t just take my word or Hitler’s word for it.

Eph. 2:8-9, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.Not by works, lest any man should boast.”

EAT GUILT FREE AND DO WHAT HITLER DID! (accept for all the killing and war mongering)

Like always God is speaking with a forked tongue. Many fat hating Christians like the 7th Day Adventists (They are all skinny) site the following verses from the Bible in order to support their dietary laws.

Proverbs 23:20-21 warns, “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”

Proverbs 28:7 declares, “He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.”

Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.

First of all, it is important to understand that the Christian God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too. (He’s probably overweight himself.) All the fat is the Lord’s. — Leviticus 3:16Even God’s sword is fat (and bloody). The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. — Isaiah 34:6God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to to them to make them nice and fat. Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field … Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth … And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. — Ezekiel 39:17-19God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are always skinny.) The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. — Proverbs 13:4

If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat.

He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. — Proverbs 28:25

God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.) The liberal soul shall be made fat. — Proverbs 11:25 This has to be true because when you push aside the tea bagging garbage Obama is far more conservative than Reagan but Bush’s liberal borrowing and spending must have been of set by his neo con war mongering and only made Karl Rove fat.

Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree … they shall be fat and flourishing. — Psalm 92:12-14

AS A CHRISTIAN!

Is it a insult to God to not enjoy his bounty through Christ our Lord? It would appear so.

The body IS the temple for the Holy Spirit so it would follow that butchering the body with WLS is an abomination. God is even against tattoos. It’s really easy to rub God the wrong way.

Just so you don’t offend God, say a prayer before you eat.

Prayer one is; Good food, good meat, good Lord let’s EAT!The other one is short sweet and to the point as well. Rubba dub dub. Thanks for the grub. YEAH GOD!

This one is for special pig outs in Catholic homes. In the name of the Father, skip the ghostThe ones who eats fastest get the most!

I suppose it matters what sort of mood God is in when you die as to whether he will send you to heaven or Hell. If I were a Christian I, Fat Bastard, like our Christian fatlings would choose gluttony. There are only 3 verses admonishing gluttony but there are six verses promoting it. What would Jesus do? He’d EAT….. A LOT!