Archive for September, 2013

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Tyson is voted out this week, Malcolm will receive 11 points and Gordon will receive 10 points. Also, each player will pick the players they think will win at Redemption Island. They’ll receive a bonus point for each correct pick. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Blood vs. Water” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

NOTE: If a current player decides to swap places with their loved one at Redemption Island, they’ll also swap places in the rankings. For example, if Gervase swaps places with Marissa, Marissa will take the 10th spot in Malcolm’s rankings and the 5th spot in Gordon’s rankings.

Last Week: Malcolm had Rachel in spot 13 while Gordon had her in spot 12. They both picked Candice and Rupert to advance at Redemption Island, so they each received one bonus point. The current score is now Team Malcolm 14, Team Gordon 13.

1. Aras – I can’t tell if Aras is responsible for creating the Zen’d out, no-gameplay vibe on Galang, but it’s the best thing possible for him. Yoga bro can sit around and meditate all day and not worry about anyone actually talking about important things like, I dunno, “Survivor.” But don’t think it’s a coincidence that the peaceful, strategy-vacant tribe is being led by the two past winners.

1. Aras – Centuries from now, “Survivor” historians will be sure to refer to late 2013 as the Great Baskauskas Dynasty. The only question is; will they work together like Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris did when they led the New York Yankees to the 1961 World Series after their infamous home run battle? Or, will they self-destruct like Mega-Powers teammates “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan?

2. Hayden – Hayden should blame the challenge loss on his parents – they clearly didn’t take him to Chuck E Cheese’s enough as a kid. I hate carnival game challenges and am not going to hold what happened against him, and I doubt his tribe will either.

2. Vytas – Things aren’t all rosy for the Five Guys (Burgers and Fries) alliance. Brad’s big and occasionally angry, John’s an immunity idol target, Hayden’s got that “Big Brother” thing, and Caleb comes with some…baggage. But Vytas? Who doesn’t love Vytas? He’s the most exciting new player since the guy whose rankings are to the left.

3. Tina – Looks like Aras’s lieutenant is fully behind the YMCA programming at Galang. She’s locked into the majority alliance and thus should be able to navigate the hairiest part of the game for older women, so suddenly her odds to go deep look very good.

3. Hayden – I’ll admit it, I like me some Hayden too. In any other season, he’d be the safest person out there. However, if Tadhana wins the next immunity challenge, what’s to stop Galang from doing to Kat what Hayden’s tribe did to Rachel?

4. Caleb – The most we saw of Colton’s better half was in the preview for this week – apparently everyone’s favorite farmer will be getting a lap dance at RI on Wednesday. It’ll be interesting to see how Colton’s behavior affects Caleb’s game, but he’s insulated enough by the He Man Woman Hater’s Club (HMWHC) to be safe for now.

4. Tina – So, we still haven’t seen any official alliances over at Galang beach, but it seems like Tina, Aras, Monica, Gervase, and Tyson are tight. That’s not a bad little group. You have some solid challenge competitors and just about everyone has a track record for being loyal.

5. Vytas – You crafty devil you. That Rachel move was clever in a way never before possible in “Survivor.” He’s definitely the brains in HMWHC and safe for a while, but he may be putting a target on himself by being the obvious strategic mastermind for the beefcakes.

5. Gervase – Gervase, buddy…I love you. You’re bad at swimming. You’re good at skee-ball. Either way, STOP WITH THE TRASH TALK! You are a likable dude. People like you. But, the way you’re acting has a former NFL player ranting about body slams. This isn’t good for your game.

6. Monica – She started channeling her inner Lisa Whelchel for a bit and gave me traumatic Philippines flashbacks, but there’s no denying she did a great job of inserting herself into the Galang majority. Monica’s best bet is to go into stealth mode for a while.

6. Monica – Seems like Monica’s in good with the cool kids over at Galang. I know she’s interested in working with Colton, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to keep him safe. That could make some of his bad Q rating bounce back on her.

7. Brad – I can’t tell if I should laugh at him or be scared of him. The HMWHC is safe and he’s their figurehead, so no worries for the Culpepper clan this week. Plus, I’m kind of excited to see him go WWE on Gervase.

7. Brad – Team Culpepper is on pretty solid footing at this point. John has surpassed Brad as the most vulnerable member of Tadhana’s dude alliance. But, Brad’s got to learn to tone it down. Threatening Gervase, getting into spats with Marissa…play it cool.

8. Laura M. – She’s not the biggest target at Galang because she’s not ruffling any feathers, but she’s not in the majority and I can’t imagine she’s thrilled with the moratorium against strategic discussions. I’m actually kind of excited she’s on the outside of the numbers because she definitely seems the type to try and shake things up, but the time isn’t right yet. Hold on Mama Morette, hold on.

8. Caleb – Oh, Caleb… I hate to say this, but Colton going home would be the best thing for your game. And you seem like a super selfless guy, but don’t take his place on Redemption Island. Colton can’t win. He isn’t built for “Survivor.” You are. Work hard around camp and be your usual likable self and you could go really far.

9. Laura B. – Two tie-dye shirts was never going to be OK, but I think I can handle one. Not being dragged down by her hubby should be a positive for her game, and it seems the Galang majority has bigger fish to fry before finishing off the Bonehams. I’m cautiously optimistic for Laura B. to stick around for a while.

9. Laura M. – It’s hard to tell where Laura ranks on the Galang totem pole. I don’t think she’s in with the top five, but I think she’s in better standing than tribe pariah Colton. Either way, she won’t be the next person sent packing.

10. Gervase – Someone get him a muffle. Even at the duel he was sitting next to Laura B. and rubbing in Rupert’s loss. He really should be higher in these rankings per safety in the game, but I’ve become wildly disillusioned with this positive figure from my childhood. He’s safe because he’s BFF with Aras, but he needs to take a lesson from his buddy in grace.

10. Tyson – Here’s my theory on the Tyson rant that took place during this week’s preview; I think he says it after Rachel loses at Redemption Island. But, just to be safe, I’m placing him lower in the ranking in case he takes Rachel’s place and Galang is annoyed and votes her out.

11. Tyson – The mouthy Mormon damn near turned into the Hulk upon seeing Rachel on RI, and while I tried to read into that preview multiple times, I can’t tell if he’s going to swap in for her or not. Part of me thinks it would make sense: his majority alliance would take care of his girlfriend, and he’s a monster in individual challenges (see: Tocantins). But I also think the rest of Galang is going to try to talk him out of it – he makes his entire tribe weaker if he bails, plus we all saw how well switching in worked for Rupert. I think Tyson replacing Rachel is a coin flip.

11. John – You know, it’s hard to be a target when you’re in the dominant alliance with someone as boisterous as Brad, but John has managed to do it. Keeping that clue to himself was a major miscue. He should immediately start referring to it as “our clue” and get his bros to help him find it.

12. John – Shhhhh. It’s a good thing I love you for your looks because the things coming out your mouth weren’t nearly as pretty. You can gently push to keep Rachel, but being too stubborn about it raised flags. Combine that with publicly getting the idol clue then being shady about it, and you’re firmly planted on the bottom of the HMWHC. Could be safe for a bit still, but looks like a blindside waiting to happen.

12. Laura B. – She certainly got off to a rough start. But, out of anyone, she’s the one with the cleanest slate. I’m still a big believer that there’s a real benefit to being a lone player out there.

13. Kat – Hayden not spending enough time in divey skeeball halls may have bailed her out. From the sound of things, she was the first target of the returnees. But even if her gentleman lover pulls out a win next week, the other diva on Galang may have taken her spot under the guillotine.

13. Ciera – It’s possible that the Five Guys alliance is unbreakable. If they lose a third straight immunity, Ciera’s going to have a hard time convincing the guys that getting rid of challenge strength is a good move. Her best bet is probably trying to work the John/idol angle.

14. Colton – I actually understand being pissed off that no one wants to play the game you’re supposed to be playing, but blowing up about it is not going to help. And he’s correct about his ability to rule in chaos, but he’s not going to be able to force it with tribe Kumbaya. Bad situation for Colton, and the preview suggests he doesn’t react well to it, but how does quitting help? Caleb, the man-meat he misses, is still out there playing. I hope he doesn’t throw in the towel and tries to claw his way back in, but the odds are long on both.

14. Kat – It seems like the politics around Galang are skewing older. That’s not good news for Kat. And like I said above, Galang could target Kat the same way Tadhana targeted Rachel.

15. Katie – The new girls are in trouble, and it’s entirely their fault. What they were thinking to be born without penises is beyond me and they deserve to be kicked off for it. I think Katie may be safer because it seemed like Ciera was the brain behind the John votes – which I HATED – and someone’s going to have to shoulder the blame for those two shots across HMWHC’s bow.

15. Katie – See Ciera.

16. Ciera – Please, oh please let me be wrong. From first to worst in 2 episodes. Part of me wants to put her higher on principle and faith, but a bigger part of me can’t stand the thought of Gordon’s mockery if I lose our little game this season. If Tadhana keeps spiraling and the voting pattern holds true, my pre-game pick is done.

16. Colton – I know more about St. Louis Cardinals baseball than most people. That doesn’t mean I’m the best person to play first base in the NLDS. Colton is a mega “Survivor” fan. I’m sure he knows the show better than anyone else out there. But he is a bad “Survivor” player. In the pre-Phillip Sheppard days he’d be a unanimous first boot. His only play here is to be someone’s goat at the final Tribal Council.

Redemption Island Picks: Candice and Rachel – Candice was a rock star last week and she’s going to be around for a while – no doubt about that pick. Marissa, however, only got through that challenge because Rupert was absurdly dumb with his tactics. The Rachel pick partially stems from the HMWHC’s consensus that she was a better competitor than the other girls on Tadhana, but, based on the wildly-confusing rules for both “Survivor” and the Power Rankings this season, she also gets a bonus because of Tyson potentially subbing in.

Redemption Island Picks: Candice and Marissa – This ties into my prediction above that Tyson is upset over Rachel leaving. That, and I still believe that poise and experience mean a ton at Redemption Island and Candice and Marissa have both.

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Whether you love Rupert Boneham or you hate him, you can’t deny that the feelings he has for his wife Laura are very real. Those feelings are obvious to anyone who saw their family visits on “Survivor: All-Stars” and “Heroes vs. Villains.” They were obvious to me when they held hands during our first meeting at the “Survivor” ten-year reunion party. And they were obvious to me as they smooched before our “Blood vs. Water” pre-game interview.

So, it wasn’t a surprise when the man many consider to be the most popular player of all time immediately stepped forward to rescue his wife from Redemption Island.

It also wasn’t a surprise when the big, burly pirate had trouble with a challenge that required grace and finesse.

I spoke with Rupert the morning after his Redemption Island defeat and asked about that fateful Day One morning, his relationship with Candice, and how this quick exit will affect his legacy…

Gordon Holmes: How’s it going, buddy?Rupert Boneham: I’m doing pretty good for being the first person voted out of “Survivor” 27” darn it!Holmes: We certainly didn’t see that coming. Let’s start with Day One…we get an immediate vote and your wife Laura is the first to go. Why do you think Tadhana targeted her?Boneham: I’ve went over that and I’ve watched that thing so many times trying to figure out why they’d target Laura. The only thing I can come up with is; everybody kind of knew her name. She’d been out there a while, and it was more of a vote against me.Holmes: When Probst gave you the opportunity to swap, you didn’t hesitate for a second. What was going through your mind at that moment?Boneham: It was gut wrenching. When I heard Laura’s name the second time, the third time, the fourth time my heart was sinking. And in past “Survivors” they’ve done this thing where they’ve choppered them around the island, they gave them a little extra bonus, so I wasn’t as worried. And then I realized that Redemption Island is in. And when Jeff said you can switch places, before I even knew what I was trading into, I pushed my way through my darn tribe with them saying, “No, don’t go!” I would do the same thing every time, one thousand times. But, I’m a little sad that I didn’t get to play the game as much.

Holmes: When I visited Galang beach, Laura seemed to be doing a fantastic job around camp. She did very well in that first immunity challenge. That has to be a source of pride for you.Boneham: One of the reasons I traded with her is because I knew she was ready. The woman is a stronger swimmer than I am. She’s a better runner than I am. She’s a better puzzle builder than I am. I knew she would do OK. And with me being out of the picture it hopefully takes a little bit of the target off of her. Now she’s a free agent. She’s not a couple anymore. Hopefully her tribe will see that and use that. But, I’m very proud of my honey.

Holmes: I interviewed Candice before the game, and she was worried about having you in the game. Apparently there was still some bad blood after “Heroes vs. Villains.” But after the challenge she got a big Boneham bear hug. Were you two able to mend fences?Boneham: Candice and I have a rocky relationship. When we were on Redemption Island I have to say that you’re darn right I let her do a lot of work. But, she’d go to sleep and I’d go out and catch little lobsters and clams. I’d cook them and eat them myself because I knew there was only one of us coming out of Redemption Island. I don’t really want to take care of anyone else there. The reason Candice stopped me as I was leaving…she was trying to take my luxury item, that big tie-dye flag that I had!Holmes: (Laughs) I’d give up a flag for a Candice hug.Boneham: (Laughs) She wanted it, she was trying to take it from me. I was saying, “No, you cannot have my tie-dye flag, I’m taking it home.”

Holmes: A Redemption Island challenge is very different from individual immunity. You lose an individual immunity challenge and you still have time to maneuver before Tribal. Redemption Island is literally do or die. How stressful was that?Boneham: Walking into there…I was so freaked out. I couldn’t even find Laura for the first few seconds. I thought, “Oh my gosh, they brought everybody but Laura?!” Then when I found her I calmed down a little bit. These challenges don’t play to my strengths. It’s not strength or endurance. They play to balance and calm steadiness. I was not calm, I was not steady. It was tough.

Holmes: You can make the argument that Rupert Boneham is the most popular “Survivor” player of all time. You’ve got a million-dollar check that helps make that argument. But now we’ve got this quick exit. First one out. But, you weren’t voted out. And you saved your wife in what can be seen as a heroic gesture. How does this season affect your legacy?Boneham: From what I’ve seen already from the e-mails and the response from fans…people that know me know there was no other choice I could make. The people that don’t understand, I have to say, “Yes, I love the game. But it is a game. My wife is my life.”Holmes: You’ve won a fan vote before. Do you think you can pull of Player of the Season having only been out there four days?Boneham: If I can win the fan favorite (laughs) after being the first one off, how funny would that be? I would love doing that. You’re going to see me at the end of this season campaigning for fan favorite.

Holmes: I think I know the answer to this, but would you be open to going out a fifth time?Boneham: If CBS said, “You want to play the game again?” You’re darn right I’ll say, “Yes.” But I hope they don’t bring Laura back with me. If she wants to play, that’s wonderful, but having someone out there that you care about makes it harder to play the game.

Holmes: I was joking that if my loved one went farther than I did, that I would expect some ribbing. But, in your case, I think you’re immune.Boneham: I think so. And she still says “Thank you” to me.Holmes: I think maybe you don’t owe her an anniversary gift this year.Boneham: (Laughs)

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Last Week: Getting rid of Laura B. and Candice was their tribes’ first thought. Laura’s husband saved her, Candice’s did not. Colton cried, yelled, and then he cried again. Brad started an alliance that was made of only men. Gervase nearly drown, then he decided to boast. And thanks to her uncle’s actions, Marissa’s game is toast.

The evening’s fun kicks off at Redemption Island where Marissa is greeted by Rupert and Candice. Apparently the former Tadhanian did not appreciate the frowny faces that were put on her votes. That’s why I always draw puppies on mine. Can’t stay mad at a puppy.

Candice thinks Marissa was voted out because she questioned Brad’s tarp comment on Day One. Candice also didn’t see Gervase’s performance in the first immunity challenge.

The next morning we meet up with Galang as they’re doing a massage line. Ten bucks says that was Aras’s idea.

Colton isn’t down with the touchy, feely, friendly tribe dynamic. Well, then just convince them to go to Tribal.

Gervase doesn’t want to talk about strategy until after they lose immunity. He should also suggest not talking about last week’s challenge ever.

At Tadhana they’re busy catching fish with a Hawaiian sling. Wait, how’d they get a Hawaiian sling?! Did they give them WiFi too?!

Rachel realizes that there’s a Dude-Bro alliance going on, so her plan is to make good with the gents. Ciera thinks that’s fishy. Fishy that she’s buddying up to the dominant alliance?

Later we meet up with the tribes at Redemption Island. The Galangians get all emotional when they see their Tadhanian counterparts. Aras consoles Gervase, but he didn’t really look that upset.

Marissa enters the arena and chews out everyone! She yells at Tadhana for voting her out. Then she yells at Gervase for annoying Tadhana with his trash talk. He promises to annoy them more. In other news, Gervase is not good at “Survivor.”

Next up, Probst lets the Redemption Islanders know that they have the opportunity to swap places with their loved ones.

Gervase decides to let Marissa handle her business. (I’m confused, don’t all three competitors get the opportunity to swap?)

Redemption Island Duel (ahem…Truel) Time: The players will use a bendy pole to guide spools through a maze. They’ll then stack those spools on top of the maze. The first two people to stack all ten of their spools are safe. The third place finisher is eliminated.

Also, the first person to finish gets to give an immunity idol clue to anyone they want.

The challenge starts and Rupert learns a quick lesson on how not to place a spool on top of a maze.

Eventually Candice jumps out to a decent lead. Marissa isn’t far behind her. Rupert does a poor job with his stacking and all eight of his fall.

Candice places her tenth spool and is the first to win, she’s followed by Marissa. Rupert is eliminated.

Everyone’s favorite pirate says he has no regrets because he loves his wife more than the game. He drops his buff in the fire and marches back into America’s hearts.

Candice chooses to give the immunity idol clue to her husband. Also, water is wet and grass is green.

Back at camp, Vytas comes up with an interesting strategy where he wants to target Rachel in the hopes that Tyson might switch places with her and make Galang weaker. John doesn’t like this idea because he wants Candice to be surrounded by people who suck at challenges.

At Galang, Laura B. is OK with Rupert leaving because she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. What was going to happen to him? Well, it’s possible Candice was going to murder him.

Next up, we see Colton pitching everyone’s name to everyone else. So weird. Kat tries to tell him to chill out, but he freaks. He threatens to send her to the next Redemption Island duel.

Monica, Tina, Tyson, Gervase, and Aras aren’t thrilled with Mr. Cumbie. Aras even refers to him as “A gay Russell Hantz.” Do yourself a favor and take a second to let that visual run through your head.

Immunity Challenge Time: One member of each tribe will climb into a barrel. The barrel will then be pushed around a course by three players who are all connected at the waist. There are four stations located on the course. At each station the player will pop out of the barrel, climb onto it, then untie a bag of balls. Once all four bags have been retrieved, the four remaining members of the tribe will roll the balls up a skee-ball ramp and into six separate ball holes. First tribe to get all six balls in place wins immunity and fishing gear.

Laura M. and Katie both pull barrel duty for their respective tribes. Vytas, Brad, and John will push for Tadhana while Tyson, Aras, and Monica will push for Galang. Kat will sit out for Galang.

Fun Fact: Those barrels wreaked of glue when the press performed the challenge on Day Two. Being rolled around in one seems like a nightmare.

We start off and the two tribes are relatively close with Galang having a slight lead. Tadhana manages to catch up and hands off their balls first.

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbit: This challenge is all about the skee-ball. When we did it the barrel portion only took a minute or two while the second half took foreeeeever.

Hayden and Gervase are the designated rollers for their tribes. It’s close for a while, but Gervase eventually wins it six balls to four. The O.G. redeems himself! He also proves he hasn’t learned anything by talking more trash.

Back at Tadhana, Brad tells everyone that Gervase has a bodyslam waiting for him the first time there’s a physical challenge.

Later, the five guys (burgers and fries!) are discussing the vote. Everyone except John wants it to be Rachel in the hopes that Tyson will swap with her. John tries to swing the vote another way, but the rest of his alliance knows what he’s up to.

The guys tell Rachel to vote for Ciera to throw Rachel off of the scent, but Ciera is worried that John will give her the idol. So, Ciera and Katie decide to vote for John.

That night at Tribal Council, Hayden says the guys have bonded, but it doesn’t mean they’re an alliance.

Caleb thinks John has a target on his back due to the idol clue.

And…we’re voting? That was quick.

Voting Time: John votes for Rachel, Ciera votes for John, and the rest are secret.

Probst tallies and returns. We’ve got two votes for John, one vote for Ciera, three votes for Rachel, and the fourth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Rachel.

Verdict: I’ll admit, I didn’t love the twists when I first heard them, but they’re making for some fascinating “Survivor” thus far. This is the second week in a row with a strategy I didn’t expect from the Blood vs. Water twist.

Who’s Going to Win? I’m sticking with Vytas. He’s thinking of all of the angles.

Power Rankings Results: Malcolm had Rachel in spot 13 while I had her in spot 12. We both picked Candice and Rupert to advance at Redemption Island, so we each receive one bonus point. The current score is now Team Malcolm 14, Team Gordon 13.

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Tyson is voted out this week, Malcolm will receive 5 points and Gordon will receive 3 points. Also, each player will pick the players they think will win at Redemption Island. They’ll receive a bonus point for each correct pick. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Blood vs. Water” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

NOTE: If a current player decides to swap places with their loved one at Redemption Island, they’ll also swap places in the rankings. For example, if Gervase swaps places with Marissa, Marissa will take the 12th spot in Malcolm’s rankings and the 10th spot in Gordon’s rankings.

1. Aras – He wasn’t around much. When he wasn’t dragging Gervase’s limp form through obstacle courses, he was probably balancing on fallen tree trunks doing a yoga tree pose, basking in the restorative, meditative irony of it all. Aras is just doing Aras, and he’s not going anywhere.

1. Aras – Alright, I’m going to apologize in advance for how sexist this Power Rankings is going to look. But, the facts are the tribe that lost the immunity challenge has a dominant all-male alliance and the tribe that won almost got clobbered and we know next to nothing about their alliances. Aras is super safe at this point. But I have to ask; why did he vote for Gervase? My bet is it was to throw people off of their super-secret alliance.

2. Hayden – Also quiet, but he’s smack in the middle of the loved ones male clique. From what we were shown, these guys are in the best position in the foreseeable future. Hayden is better than the next two on the list for calling them all “meatheads.”

2. Hayden – He’s likable, he’s a challenge stud, and he’s in the dominant Tadhana alliance. Best of all, if the Super Tadhana Bros. group breaks down, Brad will be the first target. The former “Big Brother” champ is truly the head of the household.

3. Caleb – What is a Southern Shake and where can I get one? Same rationale as Hayden: because he has a penis, he got into his tribe’s majority. Though if they let Brad (I’m not using Probst’s pet name ‘Culpepper’) run things for long – which is a big if – the different sexual orientation could become an issue. No worries yet, though.

3. Tyson – With Rupert chillaxing over at Redemption Island, the Galangers are hurting for challenge strength and Tyson might be the best challenge competitor out there. Add to that his ability to start fires with his mind and you have a very valuable tribe member.

4. Vytas – Brilliant to come out with his past to everyone. Even more brilliant to be born a boy.

4. John – Poor, John. He had to see the love of his life fly for a billion hours to get to the Philippines only to be booted after ten minutes. Then, he had to watch Rupert pull his knight-in-shining-armor act and save Laura. Welcome to the new era of “Survivor,” buddy. The good news is; you’ll be fine. You’re in the middle of a strong alliance and I wouldn’t be surprised if your wife hands you an immunity idol clue in the next couple of days.

5. Tyson – The returnees appear to be a bit physically inferior, especially following the suicide of Captain Tie-Dye. This puts a premium on fit boys, thus increasing both Aras’s and Tyson’s value. I also have to admit an odd sense of disappointment we don’t get leopard print this year.

5. Vytas – Don’t get me wrong, Vytas…I love that you’re keeping your options open with the Tadhana women. I just hope you’re keeping it a secret so it doesn’t come back to bite you.

6. Tina – The run on boys is over. From what little we saw of the returnees’ camp, Tina seemed to be getting along with everyone fine. Combine that with the niche she carved for herself as a capable puzzle assembler/killer of her child’s ambitions and she’s in great shape.

6. Tina – Just to make sure the following point doesn’t get lost, I’m going to put it in bold and italics; Tina, Laura M., and Monica killed that puzzle. How those three managed to pull victory from the jaws of defeat was inspiring. That being said, I wish I had a better understanding of the Galang alliances. I’m going to assume that Aras is running the show and he’s keeping Tina around as a “Winner” buffer.

7. Monica – The scenes with her and Colton were interesting but ambiguous. Wasn’t really sure what to make of it, though if Colton blows his lid like we’ve been led to believe he will, she may lead the charge against him? *shrug* No real strong feelings on Monica yet.

7. Laura M. – Same deal as Tina, Laura. You guys were awesome. But, you’re in the middle of the pack because I have no idea what’s going on at Galang.

8. Kat – Similar to Monica, the biggest thing she did in ninety minutes was interact with Colton, though admittedly in a much more entertaining fashion. Hard to see where the alliance lines are going to fall in their camp, but Kat seems fun and athletic enough to be safe for now.

8. Monica – See Laura M.

9. Ciera – That whole being born a girl thing isn’t looking like the best decision right about now. My pre-game pick seemed to do all the right things, including not take any of the flack for the puzzle in the challenge, and seems safer than the other ladies on her beach.

9. Brad – The leader of any majority alliance is always in a little danger. In Brad’s case, he’s so big and brash that I could see some people already figuring out ways to send him home. But, it’s probably too soon for Tadhana to get rid of such a strong challenge competitor.

10. Laura M. – I was disappointed we didn’t get anyone’s rationale nor her reaction to being (expletive deleted) on in the pre-game vote. She survived it, and was part of Team Daughter Curb-Stomp at the challenge, but whatever that initial negative reaction was from her tribe mates was, it may not disappear over three nights.

10. Gervase – The only water-related thing worse than Gervase’s challenge performance was the “Dexter” finale. (Tip your waitresses, folks!) Seriously though, I caught the live show and it was way worse than they showed. However, when it comes out that Marissa was voted out because Tadhana is mad at Gervase, wouldn’t that make Gervase the ideal person to align with?

11. Brad– Give credit where credit is due: the guy spearheaded a surefire alliance by bonding over Y-chromosomes.Now that that’s out of the way, that whole counting thing may be a bit of an issue down the road. He’s also not been coy about wanting to be declared Grand Emperor of Tadhana, and his muscle isn’t nearly as valuable per scarcity as Aras and Tyson’s. I think he’s OK for now, but when the testosterone inevitably boils over the surface, he could be a mutiny victim.

11. Caleb – I’ve gone on record saying that Caleb is my favorite person in the known universe (sorry, Malcolm). But, he’s lucky that he’s already in the dominant alliance because he was a part of that puzzle meltdown. It might be smart to lay low and be super useful around camp this week.

12. Gervase – I felt a moment of sympathy for him during the challenge: guy’s not an original gangster, he’s an old gangster. But the gloating afterwards was like a third-string, bench-warming kicker mocking the opposing starting quarterback after a loss. After the premiere we know he’s no good in the water, he’s loud and obnoxious when he has no right to be, and the thirteen years off he’s bragging about are a hindrance more than an asset. The only redeeming quality here is that he’s competitive with his niece, and I don’t think he bites the bullet for her on RI.

12. Rachel – The only reason Rachel is so low on this is because she isn’t a dude bro. She did very well in the challenge and appears to be well liked at Tadhana Beach.

13. Rachel – Girl played in stealth mode for the first episode. No idea what’s going on with Senora Tyson, but she doesn’t appear to be the biggest target of the He Man Woman Hater’s Club yet.

13. Laura B. – I know it seems like Laura B. should have a huge target on her back because of the Boneham’s day-one disaster, but I think Galang has bigger fish to fry. At this point Laura should keep her head down and go into a Sandra Diaz-Twine “anyone but me” defense.

14. John – I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word he said the entire time because I was lost in his eyes. I did a fist pump when he didn’t sub in for wifey on RI; it was the correct, rational decision. But then his eyeballs leaked fluid for the next three days and I’m concerned he’s going to do something dumb come duel (truel?) time and break my heart.

14. Ciera – You were part of the puzzle debacle and you have a uterus. That’s going to put a target on your back. Fortunately though, it looks like you, Brad, and Vytas did some bonding while being terrible at starting fires.

15. Colton – I go out on a limb and support the kid, allow myself to believe in Remix Colton, and now it looks like we’re about to get more of that flamboyant fury that hell hath not. And no one’s dumb enough to put up with that again.

15. Kat – Power Rankings veteran Kat was having a quiet episode up until the weird, mid-challenge blow-up with Colton. Without a clear picture of the alliances at Galang, I worry that she could be in trouble if someone’s hoping to take Colton to the end. Although, when he said he was going to hit her with a paddle, he could’ve meant it in a nice way.

16. Katie – Seems all the post-loss blame fell on her shoulders. It doesn’t matter if she was actually being helpful or not, the perception around camp is that she didn’t pull her weight. Add on that whole femininity thing and she’s in bad shape.

16. Katie – A Tadhana tribe that is down numbers and ruled by an all-male alliance is going to be focused on challenge strength if they lose again. That is bad news for you, Katie.

17. Laura B. – You poor thing. Out of the pan and into the fire. There’s a chance that someone at the returnees’ camp puts a target on their own back and delays the execution (*cough* Colton *cough*), but getting bailed out of RI was completely misguided.

17. Colton – You’re crying, you’re yelling, you’re crying. So many emotions. The best part was when Monica asked if she could trust you or if you were going to stab her in the back and you responded, “Yes.” Right now, you’d better be hoping that someone powerful wants to Phillip Sheppard you to the end, otherwise you’re going to be bunking at Redemption Island.

Redemption Island Picks: Candice and Rupert –We got a preview of their challenge for next week, and it’s a throwback to the final immunity in “One World.” It looks like you need to stay calm and have steady hands (I’d be screwed), and I like Candice’s odds the best. She also gets a bonus because if hubby dearest does something strategically stupid and takes her spot, a cool-under-pressure army doctor should be a lock to win this event.Rupert got to play hero and it was oh so sweet and touching and genuine and vomit. Terrible strategy for both him and his lady. So now he has to win challenges to stay in the game, and he’s certainly not bad historically in that regard, but this week’s event plays less to his strengths than some.I think Marissa’s toast. Think of her situation: her first individual challenge ever is against two people now with 7 seasons of experience between them, and the usual pressure to perform is multiplied by do-or-die circumstances AND having an audience of fellow castaways. I truly feel pity for her, and will be rooting for her to pull it off – Rupert goes home and I’m happy on principle, Candice goes home and I get John all to myself. But it’s a challenge that demands patience and calm, and those didn’t seem to be her strong points. I’m not optimistic.

Redemption Island Picks: Candice and Rupert – If it was a straight-up challenge between three newbies or three returnees, I’d think Marissa had a serious shot to advance. But trust me, Redemption Island is stress central. Rupert and Candice’s experience will make the difference. The main question here is; will Candice continue to feed Rupert for the next three days?Fun Fact: I participated (and emerged victorious) in this challenge during my visit to the Philippines. Check out my first-hand account.

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Another Quick Note: I was on hand for the filming of this first episode, so be on the lookout for special Behind-the-Scenes Tidbits from my time in the Philippines.

39 Days (well…technically 39.5), 20 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

We kick things off with each of the pairs being carted off to mysterious locations.

Gervase lets us know that he’s going to win because he was on the original “Survivor.” Oh…so that’s why Richard Hatch, Sue Hawk, and Rudy Boesch all won their second time around…

Former “Big Brother” winner Hayden calls “Big Brother,” “’Survivor’ in a house.” I don’t know if I’ve ever been more insulted. However, based on this past summer he could call “Survivor,” “‘Big Brother’ with less racism.”

Wait, nevermind…there’s Colton.

(Oh c’mon…that’s fair. It’s up to him to be less racist…or even not racist at all.)

Sure enough, Colton lets us know there’s a new Colton this season. I’m all for that.

John thinks there will be big targets on his and Candice’s backs due to being young and athletic. Or, because your wife has a history of flipping.

Next up, Monica claims to be a wily veteran. Interesting theory seeing as she’s been on the show 14 days and Rupert has been out there for a hundred.

Aras and Vytas seem to have a bit of a contentious relationship. Don’t be fooled, these guys are everybody’s picks to go far.

Finally, the individual pairs are greeted by a note that tells them the game has started and they’ll have to camp out alone for the night. And thus begins “Day Zero.”

The duos all meet up with Jeff Probst the next morning and it doesn’t seem like anyone had trouble out in the wilderness.

Probst greets the players, then immediately lets them know they won’t be on the same tribe with their loved ones.

Brad admits that he’d consider throwing a challenge if it meant Monica could win a tarp. Marissa didn’t approve of that answer. Ask Russell Swan, it always comes down to the tarp.

The loved ones split up and it’s smooch city. Rupert is psyched that he won’t have to vote for Laura, but he’s also worried that he won’t be able to protect her. (Oh you wait, Rupert.)

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbit: Laura B. was not pleased. Maybe it’s appropriate that she’s the pirate’s wife, cause she used some salty language. Eventually she tried to rationalize it by saying, “They’re newbies, they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Before Probst sends them off, he decides to give the loved ones an opportunity to take their place on Redemption Island.

Rupert immediately steps forward. Tina tried to stop him, but the big, emotional lug had made up his mind.

Tina is ticked off because Rupert is a good provider. Also, Laura B. had just said the f word about a dozen times and probably hadn’t made any friends.

John is offered the same deal, but he and Candice decide that he should stay in the game.

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbits: This opening went on forever. Here are some things that didn’t make the cut…
• Colton said he’d rather vote for his mother than for Caleb.
• It was at the marooning that the cast first heard the term “Blood vs. Water.” None of them watched the “Survivor: Caramoan” finale because they were all sequestered at the time.
• Gervase and Laura B. got into an argument because Laura B. claimed she didn’t know why she voted for Marissa.
• Tina dubbed Galang, “Go Long.” Her tribe approved.
• At one point Probst had to lay some smack down on Monica because she was dancing around his questions.
• Rupert snapped his voting board in half because he was so mad.

Over at Galang beach, Gervase immediately says that a target is already on Laura B.’s back. She’s having a rough morning.

Tyson helps the Galangians make their first fire using some tips he learned from Boston Rob. Ah…Boston Rob was mentioned before Russell. He wins.

Later, Monica asks Colton if he’s going to be someone she can trust or if he’s going to stab her in the back. He replies, “Yes.” That’s hilarious.

At Tadhana, Brad is worried that his tarp comment is going to come back and bite him. So, he calls a tribe meeting and lets them know that he’ll go 100% at all times.

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbit: Both tribes got a ton of hardware like hammers, nails, etc. But Tadhana’s machete broke almost immediately.

Afterwards, Brad tries to start up an all-guy alliance, but they all seem wary of him. He tries to talk us through the math, but it was embarrassing. Good thing he’s a lawyer and not an accountant.

The Tadhanians are also having no luck making fire. But, at least it gives Brad, Ciera, and Vytas a chance to bond.

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbit: Not having fire to boil the water had to be a nightmare because it was ridiculously hot out there. It was the first time I was ever on location where I thought, “Nope, couldn’t do it.”

Back at Galang, Colton opens up to his tribe about the difficulties of growing up gay in the deep south. He breaks down and cries because he misses Caleb so much. Honestly, Caleb is awesome. I don’t blame him.

Over at Redemption Island (Population: 2), Candice chops away at a coconut as a way to get revenge on everyone who voted for her. That’ll show ‘em.

She also isn’t happy about living with Rupert. Apparently he isn’t doing anything around camp…which is very un-Rupert-like. Rupert says he’s conserving his strength for the challenge. Hey…look at Mr. Strategy!

Immunity Challenge Time: Six players from each tribe will run off into the ocean. They’ll have to climb over a rope net, a wheel, and a set of crates. From there they’ll swim down to untie a boat, then row it back to shore. Then they’ll take a chest out of the boat and take it to the other three teammates. Those teammates will use the puzzle pieces in the chest to create a wheel. First tribe to use the wheel to raise their tribe’s flag wins immunity.

Before the challenge gets underway, Probst gives Laura B. her Galang buff. Tadhana also lies about having fire.

Swimming for Galang will be Tyson, Kat, Aras, Laura B., Gervase, and Colton while Marissa, Brad, Vytas, Hayden, John, and Rachel will go for Tadhana.

The challenge starts and Tyson tears through the course. The newbies get a bit of lead that only gets bigger when Gervase has to stop to catch his breath. It gets embarrassing as Gervase just stands on the platform while Aras tries to cheer him on. And, once he was over the crates, Aras had to drag him to the boat.

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbit: No lie, it took Gervase forever to get over those crates. The editing was kind.

Things even up at the boat a little, but Galang rows off course and eventually ends up rowing backwards. Tadhana now has a huge lead as Caleb, Ciera, and Katie start working on the puzzle.

Galang eventually gets to shore and Tina, Monica, and Laura M. fly through the puzzle. It wasn’t even close. Galang wins immunity.

When it’s over, Gervase starts talking major smack to Tadhana. He did not come off looking well at all, hence the title of this recap. Not only was he a major physical liability, but he finished it off by ticking off nine potential jury members. I love Gervase, but that may have been the most damaging challenge performance I’ve ever seen. (And yes, I remember Dan Lembo.)

Before they head off, Colton breaks down because he misses Caleb so much. Don’t worry, Colton. Anyone who votes for Caleb has to answer to me.

Back at Tadhana, Brad tells us that he hates to lose. Oh…that’s rare.

Katie is nervous because it’s obvious that the puzzle team is responsible for the loss.

Marissa is embarrassed that Gervase was bragging after the victory. She’s also not psyched that his reaction puts a target on her back.

Politicking around camp seems to be between Marissa and Katie. Marissa because of Gervase’s outburst and Katie because she didn’t help much with the puzzle.

Vytas, wanting to stay tight with everyone, is trying to keep ties with the ladies. That could be dangerous, Vytas. It’s too early for that business.

That night at Tribal Council, fire represents your life. Except it doesn’t because of Redemption Island.

John says he has a lot of guilt about not replacing Candice. He cries a bit and Ciera and Marissa are quick to comfort him.

He also says he’s going to vote to make his tribe strong, but it’s an added advantage if the person he votes out is someone Candice can beat.

Brad calls out Gervase for his celebration. Marissa thinks Galang should be more mature because they’re veterans.

Vytas points out that this is the first season where a tribe has to be concerned when they send the other team to Tribal.

Marissa thinks she should be judged on her performance and attitude, not Gervase’s.

Katie wouldn’t be surprised if she goes home based on her challenge performance. Brad says they’re not voting based solely on the puzzle.

Voting Time: Katie votes for Marissa, Marissa votes for Katie, and the rest of the votes are secret.

J-Pro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for Katie, four votes for Marissa, and the third person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Marissa.

Behind-the-Scenes Tidbit: Brad made it a point to say his Marissa vote was because of Gervase. Ouch.

Verdict: I bounced around a dozen different ways the family member twist could mess with the game. Not once did I think a tribe could get so mad at one person that they’d vote for that person’s loved one to spite them. I think that just goes to show that I have no idea where this season is going.

But, I’m excited to see where it goes.

Who’s Going to Win? Everything I know about “Survivor” tells me the returnees have too big of an advantage. But, I can’t help but think Vytas is the guy.

Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.

Gordon Holmes: Let’s start at the beginning, Day Zero…I think we expected everyone to show up cold, muddy, and miserable, but everyone seemed to be in good spirits.Jeff Probst: We didn’t know what the weather was going to do. Fortunately for them they got a beautiful night with a beautiful moon and no rain. The good thing about “Survivor” is whatever happens we use it to our favor. It became; welcome to the calm before the storm. Those people who never played were like, “What were they talking about? ‘Survivor’ is not so tough!” Yeah, you were out there for four hours with no obstacles. They’ll get so hot during the days, then so cold when it rains, they’ll be thinking, “Oh my God, that was like a camping trip.”

Holmes: Let’s talk about Gervase’s performance in the challenge. My jaw was on the floor.Probst: Gervase’s charm is that he gets by on so little. It’s fascinating to watch. He was the worst in the challenge today, but he talked the most trash. I love that.Holmes: If Marissa getting the boot had something to do with the way Gervase talked trash, that’s a big deal. Who would’ve ever thought a tribe would punish someone based on the actions of their loved one?Probst: Never, I was completely surprised. I’m still thinking about the ramifications of the notion that you could be out here playing your best game but your idiot family member does something and people get mad and hold it against you. Or, even more likely, they think, “I don’t want to be in an alliance with that idiot, so if we keep this person I might because we’re going to merge at some point. I’m going to get rid of you now so that won’t happen.” Who knows what’s going to happen at the duel, but I bet if we held it tonight Marissa would look at Gervase and say, “It’s because of you, just so you know. It’s because you were a jackass. You should take my spot in this duel.” That’s what I would say if I was Marissa. I’d lean on my uncle.Holmes: What do you think Gervase would do?Probst: I don’t think Gervase would quit, and that would kind of be a quit. I don’t think Gervase works hard enough to win anything at Redemption Island.

Holmes: In other news, your seven picks to possibly win the game managed to stay away from Redemption Island. How does that feel?Probst: (Laughs) I feel good, I feel vindicated and justified for all of the naysayers who thought my picks weren’t worthy.

Holmes: Now as we’re talking this hasn’t aired, we’re sitting on a Tribal Council set. Do you think you have the pieces to put together a solid premiere episode?Probst: We have a great first episode. We have an opening marooning that starts the night before, we have a split, we have an initial vote out, Rupert saves his wife. We have tears from Candice’s husband John when he doesn’t make the switch. We have one tribe that gets fire, another that doesn’t, showing the value of experience. We have a great challenge where the returning players are so bad in the water that there’s no way they win…except for the fact that the newbies are so bad at puzzles that the returnees manage to comeback and win. Then we have a blindside at Tribal Council. We’ve got all the pieces.

Holmes: There have been a lot of doubts with all of these twists. A lot of those doubts came from me. However, I’m prepared to say it looks like you guys are off to a great start. As a producer, how does it feel to put me in my place?Probst: Aww…I don’t feel like I’ve put you in your place, but it’s great to hear you say that. One thing about talking to the press of “Survivor” is you guys know the game and you’re usually not excited about anything we do. (Laughs)Holmes: (Laughs) That’s fair.Probst: I get it, you’re shooting bullets saying, “Prove it.” But we’re going on our fourteenth year and you have to continually try new things, and that’s what we did with this. And we’re well aware it’s a risk. But we’re one episode in and there’s certainly a lot to talk about. With a little bit of “Survivor” luck, hopefully we’ll have a really good season.

Quick Note: I had a chance to sit down with all twenty of the “Blood vs. Water” competitors before the game began. I’ll be posting exclusive interviews with each pairing in the days leading up to the September 18th season premiere. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for those interviews, behind-the-scenes exclusives, and more…

Another Quick Note: Once the season has started, check back for full recaps immediately following each episode, interviews with the eliminated players the day after they’re sent packing, and the return of the always controversial “Survivor” Power Rankings featuring “Survivor” dreamboat Malcolm Freberg.

Back in the day it was safe to assume that the annoying people were going home first and the challenge liabilities were next. From there, we’d hit the merge and the challenge threats were sent packing. Then it was anyone’s guess who’d take home the big prize.

But now? People are dying to take the annoying people to the end. There are idols and Redemption Islands waiting to give people a second (or third) chance. And anyone can be targeted based on what their family members have done.

1. Vytas – Vytas and Aras might be totally different outside of the game, but inside of the game they both have the tools to get the job done. They’re smart, they’re strategic, and they’re personable. They’re strong, but not too strong. However, the thing that gives Vytas an advantage is the fact that he’s a little rough around the edges. While people won’t want to take Mr. Perfect to the end, Vytas might have an enemy or two on the jury.

2. Caleb – I feel like Caleb is going to be a power player’s right hand. He’s going to be loyal, he’s going to be amazing around camp, and he’s going to be solid in challenges. If he’s in the right alliance he could find a seat at the final Tribal and he’s definitely likable enough to win over a jury.

3. Aras – There’s no need to question Aras’s ability to win this game, because he’s done it before. He’s still the same guy. He’s likable, he has a good head on his shoulders, and he’s very even-tempered. The only weakness in his game might be that’s he’s too nice. I think I’d have trouble trusting him.

4. Ciera – On paper, it looks like Tadhana could dominate in the challenges. (Although, returnees tend to have a serious advantage in challenges.) What that could mean for Ciera is a safe trip to the merge and the possibility that her mother will be an early elimination. Now, that may sound like bad news for her, but I think there’s a real benefit to being a lone player out there. Someone’s got to be a couple’s third alliance member.

5. Tina – If there’s one thing I learned from this season’s pre-game interviews, it’s that a lot of people want to align with Tina. You know who everyone wanted to align with before “Survivor: Caramoan”? Some guy named Cochran.

6. Katie – Anybody who knows me knows I love me some Sophie Clarke. Maybe the most underrated winner of all time. Katie reminds me of Sophie quite a bit.

7. Gervase – Most people think Gervase’s greatest asset is that he’s likable. I respectfully disagree. While, I do find my fellow Philadelphian (maybe not a word) to be a great guy, I think his biggest asset is that nothing sticks to him. If Teflon Gervase manages to sneak into the final three, he could brush off any backstabbing he had to do and take the whole thing.

8. Tyson – I wanted to put Tyson higher than this, but I kept coming back to one thing; how would he perform at a final Tribal Council? If he has to cut throats on the way to the end, can he convince those people to give him the win? Would the world spin off its axis if Tyson had to be serious?

9. John – Mr. Cody has all of the tools necessary to make it to the end. And, he’s a great guy. But, nobody is going to want to keep a physical specimen like him around after the merge. It’s rare that the Captain America types aren’t taken out by the rest of the pack.

10. Hayden – Our buddy Hayden is in the same boat as John, but with another disadvantage heaped on top – his “Big Brother” win. Everybody knows how dangerous he is.

11. Laura M. – A lot of people were scratching their heads when they saw Laura’s name on the cast list. But, if they go back and watch “Samoa” they’re realize that she’s a savvy player who can go in challenges. My big concern for her is I’m not quite sure where she’ll fit in with the rest of Galang.

12. Candice – Cochran was able to shake the “flipper” tag last season. I don’t think Candice will be so lucky. Everyone remembers her “Cook Islands” mutiny and I’m sure Rupert will be more than happy to remind everyone about what happened during “Heroes vs. Villains.”

13. Rachel – Rachel’s a super tough person to rank because both Tyson and Jeff Probst were worried that her emotions might get the best of her. That’s a shame, because she has the right easy-going personality to go deep into this game and she’s charming enough to win over a jury.

14. Colton – Nobody needs an image makeover like Colton. In fact, with his controversial past, he seems like a great goat to take to the end. But, anyone who didn’t purge “One World” from their memory (and many of us have tried) will remember that Colton was running around like a chicken with his head cut off and stabbing people in the back the entire time. Maybe if he can rein in that conduct he’ll have a shot.

15. Marissa – I like Marissa a lot. She’s a ton of fun and full of life. But, I worry that she might be a little too open for “Survivor.” A little too trusting. If she makes it to the merge she could stick around for a while, but I think that’s a big “if.”

16. Rupert – Next to Russell Hantz, Rupert has to be the most polarizing player in “Survivor” history. Lots of people can’t get enough of him, while others simply don’t buy his act. (For the record, I personally enjoy him.) Where this is going to cause a major problem for Rupert is…the people he’s playing with don’t buy his act. He’ll probably be safe until the merge because Galang is the weaker tribe, but after that’s he’s a goner.

17. Laura B. – Scroll back up this list and look at all of the names that are in red. Those are Laura’s Tadhana teammates and the majority of them are much younger than she is. How is she going to fit in? Add that to the fact that she’s wearing an outfit that’s very similar to her unpopular husband and you have a recipe for disaster.

18. Brad – The Culpeppers broke out a controversial plan during their pre-game interview. They’re going to tell the jury to vote for whoever they go to the end with. Why? Because they don’t need the money. Interesting…but Jimmy Johnson went into “Survivor: Nicaragua” with that strategy and was the third person out.

19. Monica – In the first-ever season with couples, people are going to be looking to break up the duos that have the potential to dominate after the merge. First on that list has to be Brad and Monica.They’re just too high-profile, too early in the game.

20. Kat –I love me some Kat. Power Rankings represent. But I think people are going to be mega wary of Hayden, and that puts a big target on her back. Especially if Galang loses as often as I think they might.

Quick Note: I had a chance to sit down with all twenty of the “Blood vs. Water” competitors before the game began. I’ll be posting exclusive interviews with each pairing in the days leading up to the September 18th season premiere. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for those interviews, behind-the-scenes exclusives, and more…

Another Quick Note: Once the season has started, check back for full recaps immediately following each episode, interviews with the eliminated players the day after they’re sent packing, and the return of the always controversial “Survivor” Power Rankings featuring “Survivor” dreamboat Malcolm Freberg.

Rachel Foulger: You’re going to tell us everyone else’s secrets, right?Gordon Holmes: Sure, what do you guys want to know?Rachel: And you’ll keep our stuff confidential?Gordon: Absolutely. I’ll give you a full breakdown on what the rest of the cast is thinking, how they feel about you, how best to break them down and get them to bend to your will.Tyson Apostol: Good, that’s what we need the most.Rachel: In written form would be great.Gordon: I’ll make an easily concealed cheat sheet for you.Rachel: Like a little pamphlet.Gordon: Precisely.Tyson: I’m going to make Rachel get it tattooed on her rectum. They’re not going to look there.Gordon: You’re going to have time for that?Tyson: I can speak the Filipino language, so we’ll have it done in Filipino and nobody can read it except for me.Rachel: You could do it.Tyson: Sure, I’ve never done it before, but this is probably a good place to start.Rachel: You just need like a pen and a needle, that’s what they do in jail.Tyson: A nice prison tat.Gordon: Seems worth it. Because even if you don’t win, you’ll have this great story.Tyson: A hilarious story.Gordon: So either way you’re coming out as winners.Tyson: You’re making me feel really good about this.Gordon: That’s my goal.Rachel: We didn’t know this was going to be a pep talk too.

Gordon: Alright, Tyson…tell me about this lovely lady.Tyson: Rachel is much sweeter than I am. She’s the sweetness to my salty, I guess. Much more emotional than me.Rachel: A little more sensitive.Tyson: Much more sensitive. She’ll kill them with kindness. But not to their actual deaths.Gordon: Wound them with kindness.Tyson: Yes. My little Rachel. We’ve been dating for five years. She’s been with me since before the first time I was on the show. So, she’s lived through it as a third party. Now she gets to experience it herself.

Gordon: Are you worried his looks will distract you?Rachel: No.Tyson: Yes.Rachel: I’ve looked at it for five years. There are no surprises. Well, maybe if he’s going to get all bronzed and tan.Tyson: Lean.Rachel: Bleach blonde hair. I could be taken aback a little bit.Tyson: You can get a nice anatomy lesson of all my veins. I get a real nice sinewy build when I’m out here.Gordon: Good luck keeping your hands off of him when he’s all emaciated.Rachel: It’s going to be hard.

Gordon: Speaking of “Survivor” physiques. What’s going to happen on Day 39 when you haven’t been eating?Rachel: I don’t have a lot to lose.Gordon: You should’ve bulked up.Tyson: She did. We’ve been in a weight-gaining phase for months.Gordon: I look at a donut and put on weight. You guys are (expletive deleted).Rachel: No, we haven’t.Tyson: I lied about that.Rachel: Everyone who knows we’re going on this show says, “Eat so much food!” Why, so I can expand my stomach and then really be hungry out there?Tyson: And I like to look good on day one.

Gordon: You two were together for “Tocantins” and “Heroes vs. Villains.” What could this guy have done better?Tyson: Probably nothing.Rachel: He could’ve won the million dollars.Tyson: No, c’mon. I want a real answer. I need to hear this.Gordon: It’s probably better to get it out now.Rachel: The first time I think he was distracted by the limelight. He was having fun being on TV. I think he got too comfortable. The second time he just over thought it and switched his vote at the last minute which wasn’t smart.

Gordon: I know you and “Boston” Rob Mariano are close. Phillip Sheppard played by the “B.R. Rules” his second time around. Are you going to give that a shot?Tyson: I don’t think I can play like Rob. Rob and Russell (Hantz), even though they’re mortal enemies, play a very similar game where they’re up in everyone’s business all the time. They make sure everyone’s conforming to what they want. That’s too exhausting for me. I don’t like that much confrontation. I play a more relaxed game. I would like to play more like Sandra (Diaz-Twine). A lot of people don’t notice, but she tells these little lies that get people against each other. Little stuff like, “Hey, they were mentioning that they hate the color of your shirt.” But that’ll be later. I think I’m a safe bet to make it to the merge barring any ridiculous stuff.Gordon: There are always people who are here to be a trainwreck, so let them be a trainwreck.Tyson: Yeah, the annoying person almost always goes first.Rachel: Then the weak.Gordon: Someone’s always playing too hard, too fast.Rachel: Yes.Tyson: That’s why I like to sit back. I haven’t met a lot of these people. I’ve seen them on TV, but that isn’t a true gauge of who they are as a person. Right now I think we’re in a nice spot where we’re in the middle of the road of a lot of demographics. Age-wise we’re middle of the road, when I played last is middle of the road. Size-wise, there are bigger guys than me. I fit right in the middle of that. Whichever rift the game breaks apart at, we can be the decision makers on which way we go.

Gordon: Socially, physically…how is Rachel going to do?Tyson: Socially, she’s going to be good as long as she can remember to talk to the people she hates and treat them like a friend instead of ignoring them or avoiding them. Physically, she’s fine. Maybe she’s not the strongest woman here, but she’s not far off when it comes to challenges. Emotionally, I think it’s going to be a problem for her. The elements do get to you. There will be days when it’s raining all the time and you might not have a roof. The harder it gets, the more you miss home. That’ll probably be the toughest thing for her.

Gordon: What is it like when you guys fight? Rachel: (Laughs) It’s just kind of funny.Tyson: We’re just having fun.Rachel: Tyson thinks it’s fun. He thinks it’s really funny. But, even for me…we have a good relationship because even when we’re annoyed with each other, we’re still kind of laughing.Tyson: Sometimes you don’t laugh, you get really mad.Rachel: Sometimes I get really mad, and he thinks that’s funny.Tyson: I think it’s hilarious.Rachel: We don’t get into really big fights like most couples do.Tyson: She has attacked my physically before.Rachel: (Laughs)Gordon: She’s laughing, that’s horrible.Tyson: We have this crazy friend and she’s insane. Me and my friend played a prank on her with phones and she freaked out and got really upset about it. It was harmless. So Rachel comes home and she’s furious. She tried to jump on me and throw pillows at me. So, I’m blocking her and to me it’s still funny. But, I realize I can’t spend the whole night just blocking her.Gordon: As impressive as that must’ve been.Tyson: It was. Block…block…judo chop! She eventually came to her senses.Rachel: It took a while. I liked that girl for a long time.Gordon: Liked? Past tense:Rachel: Yeah, we’re not friends anymore.Gordon: But she was worth assaulting Tyson over?Rachel: At the time.

Gordon: Is there a situation where you’d vote each other out.Rachel: No. We’ve actually been asked that a lot.Tyson: Can you believe it?Gordon: In a game where people are pitted against their loved ones?Rachel: (Laughs) There’s just not a situation where it’d make sense.Tyson: I don’t think it’ll benefit anyone. You’d lose the one person you can trust 100%.

Gordon: What strategies have you discussed?Rachel: This is the first time you have an alliance that you can completely trust.Tyson: This is going to be a nine person game in the beginning until the solo people start accumulating. Then the solo people are going to be the wild cards. We’ve got to latch onto the solos immediately.

Gordon: What twists are you guys expecting?Tyson: Rachel, give him the breakdown.Rachel: You think it’s going to be three tribes.Tyson: Yes, why don’t you tell him because I’ve done a lot of talking.Rachel: (Laughs) It’s your idea.

NOTE: At this point in the afternoon, Candice and John Cody hadn’t joined the cast.

Tyson: There are nine couples here, they can’t split in half because that would be uneven guys and girls. They want us to start together because that brings the whole story together right at the beginning.Rachel: But then they’re going to want to split us up.Tyson: It’s going to be three tribes of three couples. That’s why it’s important if someone gets voted out, you’ve got to bring that third person into your alliance. But at some point they’ll turn the three tribes into two tribes and try to split up as many loved ones as possible.

Gordon: Anyone you guys are interested in aligning with?Rachel: Maybe Rupert and his wife. And in the beginning it might be smart to align with Aras and his brother because they’re strong. But I wouldn’t fully trust them.Tyson: I think Aras is dangerous.Rachel: I think they’re sneaky.Tyson: His brother wears yoga pants, so he’s got to be way good at stretching.Gordon: When the stretching challenge comes up, you’re going to want him on your side.Rachel: He does not wear yoga pants.Tyson: That’s all he wears!

Gordon: Alright, who are some early targets?Tyson: I’m wary of the conniving game players. They’re the ones who flip the game a lot or get the game going in another direction.Rachel: Monica and her husband might be…Tyson: No.Rachel: Maybe…Tyson: Nobody likes them.Rachel: They’re definitely a couple that I don’t feel comfortable with. I feel like I could be really good friends with all of them except for Monica and her husband…I don’t know how Colton is going to be this season…Gordon: Will he be less offensive, more offensive, equally offensive?Tyson: As a Republican, is he against his own relationship? Does he despise his boyfriend for being homosexual?Rachel: I really want to ask him about it.Tyson: Well, you’ll get a chance to.

Quick Note: I had a chance to sit down with all twenty of the “Blood vs. Water” competitors before the game began. I’ll be posting exclusive interviews with each pairing in the days leading up to the September 18th season premiere. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for those interviews, behind-the-scenes exclusives, and more…

Another Quick Note: Once the season has started, check back for full recaps immediately following each episode, interviews with the eliminated players the day after they’re sent packing, and the return of the always controversial “Survivor” Power Rankings featuring “Survivor” dreamboat Malcolm Freberg.

Quick Note:I had a chance to sit down with all twenty of the “Blood vs. Water” competitors before the game began. I’ll be posting exclusive interviews with each pairing in the days leading up to the September 18th season premiere. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for those interviews, behind-the-scenes exclusives, and more…

Gordon Holmes: No offense, Brad. But I’m so sick of these pro football players turned lawyers being cast on this show.Brad Culpepper: (Laughs) Yeah, I used to be a caveman, now I’m a lawyer. Actually, I got my law degree while I was playing. I’ve spent 12 years as an attorney, but right now I’m getting the butterflies like I’m about to head out on Sunday morning.Monica Culpepper: Against the Miami Dolphins, through the tunnel. Brad hasn’t competed…Brad: Well, I’ve competed higher than this level.Gordon: There is no higher level than “Survivor.”Monica: (Laughs) Exactly.Brad: This is as close as I can get to the NFL level.

Gordon: He’s smart, he’s in good shape, he’s had two very lucrative careers. What do you see in this guy?Brad: Right?Monica: There’s a target on him. He’s my shield.Brad: She’s going to dump me for John Cochran.Monica: Right. We’ve got lots of strategies and lots of ideas. Every single day we need to realize we’re a target. And every single day we need to figure out how they will help themselves by voting someone else off.Brad: This is a game about one winner. You have to convince someone that it’s in their best interest to keep me or it’s in their best interest to get rid of someone else. That’s the game. We’re not sure on how they’re going to split us up. But, we’re used to living with each other and there are loved ones who are not. We’re one person, we can finish each other sentences. I can definitely give her information and run scenarios by her and get truthful responses.Monica: But this time I’m the wily veteran.Brad: You can play as many “Survivors” as you want, I guarantee I’m going to catch more fish, build more fire, and whatever else.Monica: He grew up on an island in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico that you can only get to by boat. He’s an Eagle Scout.Brad: Yeah, but that’s only a third of the game.Monica: Yeah, and the social part and the strategic part I can help you with. And I’m hoping the people out there realize he is a workhorse. I want them to ride him to their goal. Do I think a jury is going to give a retired NFL player the prize? No. The only chance we have of winning at a final three is if we’re playing with Osama or Hitler.Gordon: You’re out of luck on that one. I think I’d notice if they were walking around.Monica: So, the chances of the jury giving it to us are slim.Brad: There are different scenarios, the only reason John Cochran won was because he had a shield. He had the Three Amigos at the merge. The conversation should be, you need me at the merge because you need someone to deflect the arrows off of you. But there are a lot of athletic people here. It’s the John Cochrans we have to look out for.

Gordon: I’m seeing a few “One World” folks in this cast. Does that work to your advantage?Monica: On my season those girls had an alliance from the start. I worked my tail off, cooked chickens, did all the fire, boiled everyone’s undergarments while they laid in the sun. We have a tribal swap and I landed on the tribe with four men and three women, but I had Colton. Colton came to me on day three and said, “I’m quitting the game. I need a mom. What can you do?” I said, “Do you have a boyfriend?” He said, “Yes, the love of my life, Caleb.” And I said, “One day you guys are going to adopt children and they’re going to watch and see what you did on ‘Survivor.’ They’re going to know what dad did. Do you want them to see you quit?”Brad: So you talked him out of quitting.Gordon: Oh, so it’s your fault.Brad: For a while.Monica: Yeah, bad move by me. I talked a lot of people out of quitting. But that Monica is back in Samoa.Gordon: Now you’re a bad ass house of fire.Monica: No doubt. But then we’ve got three men vs. three women and Colton.Brad: He backstabbed her.Monica: I thought Colton was on my side. He said I was the strongest person on our tribe and he felt the most threatened by me so it was time to get me off. And he was happy in knowing that they were going to lose every immunity because he knew they’d vote the women off first.Brad: Of course, the next day he’s out.Monica: Who lines up at a challenge and doesn’t care if they win or lose?Brad: This is a new day. It’s not going to be that way this time.

Gordon: So what’s your play if Colton is on your tribe?Brad: My kneejerk reaction is; I see Colton here, I want to get him off first. But, I’m smarter than that. The guy said some stupid things that he’d want to take back.Monica: And I guarantee that he’s back because he wants to show that he’s changed.Brad: While he said some things that were inflammatory, that’s almost outside of the game. Within the game he’s a fantastic player. He’s very shrewd, he got a bunch of men to give immunity up. The guy is persuasive.Monica: Eighteen other people here do not know the storm that is coming at them with Colton. He is the most paranoid person you’ve ever met.Brad: If everyone wants to get him off first, I’m all for it. But my plan would be to bury the hatchet with him and say, “Colton, you’re a great player. Yesterday was yesterday.” And he’ll probably apologize, he’s not stupid. He needs us because she can validate him to other people. Everyone here knows his reputation and is probably leery of him.Monica: I can validate that he’s changed.Brad: I think we can play much better with him than we can without.Gordon: Cochran and Dawn (Meehan) did something similar where people didn’t think they’d trust each other based on their past history in “South Pacific.”Brad: It’s the same thing.Monica: Nobody here is going to think we’re together. He was deplorable out there and the worst to me. I’ll be able to look in his eyes and see if he’s changed.

Gordon: What are your thoughts on the rest of the cast?Brad: We’ve got two returning winners.Monica: I’m a bit star-struck with Tina here. Tina Wesson is the one that allows mothers to still play the game, she is unbelievable. She’s the kind of person that Colton would go with because she’s motherly.Brad: You’ve got Tyson who’s good at challenges. Hayden who’s very athletic and he’s got the social skills. He won “Big Brother,” which is no small feat.Gordon: It’s no “Survivor.”Brad: No, it’s not.Monica: Gervase, I remember him from season one. We’ll tell him he’s the wily veteran of the game.Brad: The pirate Rupert is here.Monica: He’s played a hundred days. He’ll sell himself as being loyal. He makes an alliance of four and he never wavers.Brad: This game is going to be funky. You’ve got the new-school players and then a Rupert, a Tina, a Gervase. They didn’t even have idols. It’s going to be an interesting blend.

Gordon: Has she given you any tips on how to deal with the conditions?Brad: I hope it is hot, I hope it rains. There’s a saying in the NFL, “Anyone can good on Sunday when they’re healthy.” First game of the year, everyone plays well. How well do you play on week fifteen, week sixteen? Same thing with “Survivor.” If it’s a sunny day and cool at night and you’re catching fish, everyone’s going to play well. But if it rains and nobody eats and everyone’s miserable, the cream will rise to the top. I want the shelter to fall down. I want people to be miserable.

Gordon: What is it like when you guys fight?Monica: We don’t fight. I know that’s strange.Brad: When we’re tired at the end of the day because we’ve got three kids and we’re trying to get someone to do their homework, it’s frustrating. The only time she and I get elevated is in an exasperated, tired kind of a situation.Monica: Which we’re going to have every day out here.Brad: No, I don’t sweat the small stuff. Everything I do at work is small. Nothing I do with my kids is small. I’ll put a bet on you now, I guarantee we’re the last couple that will be filmed having a big argument this season.

Gordon: What strategies have you guys been discussing?Monica: You may see something that’s never been done before on “Survivor.” We might pitch that the whoever got us to the final three wins the game.Brad: To cement your legacy in this game, you have to do something that nobody else has ever done. I’m going to make millions of dollars from this show if I can last a long time. My exposure…Monica: Would be ten times that for his law practice.Brad: I would lose the battle and win the war.Monica: And at our stage in life what gives you pleasure is doing nice things for other people. $600,000 after taxes isn’t going to make or break us. But it’s going to make someone else’s life.Brad: And we’re not going to win anyway.