Should You Talk About Politics at Work?

When politics is as heated as it has been in the U.S. this election cycle, it’s hard to resist the desire to talk about what’s going on with your coworkers. But is the office the right place to discuss whether you are a Clinton or Trump fan? Or whether you’re happy and furious about Brexit? What’s the most tactful way to go about it? And what should you do about the coworker who can’t tamp his enthusiasm and relentlessly talks about politics?

What the Experts SayTalking about politics at work is tricky business. “Politics is very personal, and we tend to hold our beliefs extremely strongly,” says Liane Davey, cofounder of 3COze Inc. and author of You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done. “No matter how much others try to influence us, we’re not likely to move our positions — if anything, we’re likely to retrench.” Put simply, politics often doesn’t make for good workplace conversation. And yet, says Joseph Grenny, coauthor of Crucial Conversations and cofounder of VitalSmarts, a corporate training company, you spend the majority of your waking hours with your colleagues, and so it’s natural to “feel the need to process your thoughts and feelings” with them. In fact, he says, learning how to talk about politics in a productive manner can help you “manage other difficult conversations at work,” including peer performance reviews or disagreements over strategy and policy. Politics is just another topic where “emotions run strong, the stakes are high, and opinions vary,” he says. Here are some strategies for ensuring these conversations remain civil.

Weigh the consequencesWhen you work closely with colleagues every day, chances are you have an idea of where they fall on the political spectrum. Davey suggests you consider these social cues before broaching or engaging in conversation about politics. “You usually get a sense of people’s leanings,” she says. Weigh the consequences of speaking up versus shutting up. “If you wade into an issue that’s highly [divisive], you risk souring a relationship.” At the same time, if coffee break chat veers into political territory that you’re passionate about — equal rights, say, or climate change — “it may be worth it to you” to speak your piece. “It is a choice you make,” she says. “Our world would be a less progressive place if there weren’t brave souls to push these issues forward.”

Frame it as an opportunityDon’t think of the conversation as a chance to convert your colleague or to judge another’s choice. Trying to change the other person’s mind is often an exercise in futility, according to Davey. “If you’re using a conversation as an opportunity to influence, know that the likelihood of it working is slim,” she says. “But the likelihood of it driving a wedge [between you and your coworker] is incredibly high.” She suggests you “think of it as an interesting dialogue.” Grenny recommends viewing the discussion as an opportunity to learn and gain insight: “Think, ‘I’m going to come out of this dialogue with empathy for other people, new ideas, or a new understanding of how other people think.’” You might even add structure to the conversation. “Say, ‘We’re going to talk about this for 10 minutes, each of us will get five minutes to share our opinion, and we’re going to part as friends.’”

Ask questionsThe best way to learn from conversations is to ask lots of questions. “Be genuinely curious,” Grenny says. Try to identify the formative experiences that shaped that person’s worldview and “come away with an appreciation of how he arrived at his opinion.” Davey suggests saying something like, “It seems like some people feel that the cards are stacked against them and that the system is rigged. What do you think is the root cause of that? What can be done to make people feel that they had a chance to be successful?” The problem today “is that conversation is so polarized,” she says. “People tend to pull apart from those who feel differently than they do.” Rather than pulling away, “make an effort to understand.”

Be respectfulThe key to diplomatic relations is to show respect for the other side — even if you believe the other side is patently nuts. “The central challenge of creating social capital in the workplace is learning how to transcend our judgments of other people,” says Grenny. Demonstrating respect “is about subtlety,” he says. Keep your body language comfortable and try to stay calm and collected. “We feel emotional when we feel threatened,” he says. In conversation, Davey says you should “either validate the content of the person’s viewpoint or his right to have an opinion.” Say you’re in a conversation about the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade agreement, for instance. “If you’re for it, but the person you’re talking to is against it, don’t say, ‘You’re an isolationist idiot.’ Instead, say, ‘I hear your passion about keeping employment low and keeping jobs in the U.S.’”

Seek common groundTo prevent the conversation from getting overheated, Grenny suggests looking for areas where you and your colleague are aligned. “Almost all disagreements are disputes of strategy, not purpose,” he says. Don’t demonize the other side. “Your very first assumption should be that the person you’re talking to loves this country — wants the country to be successful, and wants their children and their friends and family to thrive,” says Davey. She recommends emphasizing your commonalities by saying something like, “‘We all want [our country] to be great. We just have different views on how to get there.’” This is a good starting point, but it also provides a graceful departure from the “water cooler after a contentious conversation.”

DeflectIn this campaign season, “it’s hard to work with someone every day and not mention the election,” says Davey. That said, just because your colleague brings it up, you don’t need to take the bait. “Being authentic doesn’t equal transparent,” she says. “Be genuine and don’t lie — don’t be a Clinton supporter in the women’s washroom and a Trump supporter with your boss — but you also don’t need to be fully candid about everything you think and feel.” You can either artfully shift the conversation toward a neutral subject or focus on related topics that aren’t candidate specific — the lack of nonpartisan media coverage, say, or the obscene amounts of money in elections. “Speak about the process, not the candidate,” she says.

DisengageIf you find that you can’t keep your cool during a lunch break debate, “take responsibility for the fact that you are frustrated and angry, and exit the conversation,” says Grenny. Your coworkers needn’t be subjected to your rants. On the other hand, if a colleague’s incessant political talk is both grating and distracting, speak up. “Any conversation that detracts from your productivity doesn’t belong in the workplace,” says Davey. She recommends that you speak directly to your colleague in simple, straightforward terms: “I don’t want to talk about this” or “I’m not comfortable with this conversation. I need to get back to work.” If that doesn’t work, she suggests asking your boss for help managing the situation.

Principles to Remember

Do:

Recognize the risks. If you decide to speak your mind on a particular hot-button issue, do so knowing that the chances of influencing your colleagues are slim and that you may offend someone.

Ask questions. Be curious and open minded.

Show respect by validating either the content of the other person’s viewpoint or his right to have an opinion

Don’t:

Demonize the other side. Instead, look for areas of agreement.

Lie about your views, but don’t feel you need to be fully candid and transparent

Tolerate a colleague’s incessant political talk. If his behavior is distracting, say so.

Case Study #1: Remove emotion from the equation and focus on a positive working relationshipAs a Democrat living in the red state of Utah, Whitney McCarthy, the communications manager at RizePoint, a compliance management software company based in Salt Lake City, knows a thing or two about being diplomatic.

Ordinarily she steers clear of talking about politics — particularly with her conservative colleague, Jim (not his real name), who according to Whitney is “a proud Republican.”

But recently her curiosity got the better of her. “I made the mistake of saying to Jim, ‘Why do you not like Clinton? I mean, really, do you have a specific example?’”

Jim listed several criticisms — all of which Whitney vehemently disagreed with. “It was hard to remain calm. In fact, I had told him I was genuinely curious, and I wouldn’t judge his answers. It was harder than expected to keep my cool,” she says. “My nearby colleague — also a Democrat — later said that she felt uncomfortable listening to our interaction.”

Needless to say, Jim’s argument did not change Whitney’s opinion. “I think he knows I’m a die-hard liberal, as he is a Republican, so there really was no room to change my mind.”

To end the conversation, she said simply and respectfully, “I don’t see it that way.” It worked, she says: “We ultimately agreed to disagree and later he came by my desk to make sure we were still work friends.”

Regardless of their political differences, she and Jim have a strong working relationship. “We are such opposites that it gives us something to joke about in a friendly manner,” she says. “For instance, we have a running bet right now that if he eats vegetarian for a week (I’m a vegan; he’s an avid carnivore) that I will go to a gun range (I despise guns; he wants an assault rifle for his birthday).”

Case Study #2: Be respectful and use politics as an opportunity to learn about your colleaguesJoseph Sherman, a marketing specialist at Vimtag Technology, lives in Israel but works in New York. He doesn’t broach political topics at the office, but when others bring them up, he doesn’t shy away, either.

“I sincerely value people who are enthusiastic and involved in the democratic process, no matter what party or political group they are part of,” he says. “I like to hear where they are coming from.”

This campaign season has been especially enlightening. One of his colleagues, Maria (not her real name), is firmly for Hillary Clinton. “Maria told me that where she grew up, women did not have a lot of opportunities for education and political involvement, and seeing Clinton become the first female president would be a turning point in history.”

Joseph listened to Maria, asked questions, and then validated her feelings. “I responded with something like, ‘I agree with you that it’s time for a woman in the White House, and I can see how much it means to you.’”

He has colleagues who lean the other way too. Andrew (not his real name), for instance, is adamant that Trump will restore the economy. At first, Joseph thought Andrew was repeating a party line, so he asked him why he favored Trump. Andrew shook his head. “You don’t get it,” he said. Then Andrew explained how he works two jobs to support his family.

After Andrew finished talking about his difficulties finding good, well-paying jobs, Joseph validated his point of view by saying, “I see you’ve really worked hard to get where you are, and I share your concerns about the economy.”

Joseph does, however, have a colleague who talks incessantly about politics. Ryan (not his real name) has told Joseph that politicians are all liars and are not to be trusted. The first time Ryan spoke passionately without interruption, Joseph was patient. The second time, he suggested that Ryan get involved with a community organization.

“The third time, I said, ‘Ryan, you keep talking about corrupt politicians who steal government money, but we are on company time, so by not working we are stealing time.’”

Ryan hasn’t brought up politics since.

Rebecca Knight is a freelance journalist in Boston and a lecturer at Wesleyan University. Her work has been published in The New York Times, USA Today, and The Financial Times.