How to Get Him to STOP Treating You Like His Maid… and Breaking Other Boundaries Too!

He was an AMAZING boyfriend until the two of you moved in together. Now he treats you less like a hot girlfriend and more like his personal maid. Not only that, but he’s back in touch with his ex. How did this happen? And what can you do about it?

Hi, Claire. I really love my man with all I have, but since we moved in together a lot has changed. If I ask him to help around the house like putting his dirty clothes in the washing basket, or to keep the bathroom clean, it only happens that day and never again. I just feel like I’m looking after a teenage boy who wants to be taken care of all the time.

And what do I do in a situation where he texts his ex-girlfriend and says he really misses her? I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want him to look at me just as a friend or just a booty call. Please help. — Noreen

Noreen, girlfriend, you have a lot on your plate, but these two items are actually connected, and very solve-able. Nice, right? You can get to an AMAZING relationship IF you’re both willing to do the work it will take to make it through this first frustrating struggle.

This is a boundary issue for you. And if the two of you are in a mutually agreed, committed relationship, it should be. So you have to name the boundary. You have to say,

“The two of us have agreed to focus exclusively on each other, on building our relationship. It’s a very painful thing for me that you are renewing contact with your old girlfriend. That’s out-of-bounds for me, and it breaks with our agreement.”

Just like with the laundry issue, if you ALLOW this to continue, it’s on you. So make your plans for either fighting for and working toward what you want, or allowing it to drift away.

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It will be hard. He’ll get irritated, and defensive, and he may try to make it all your “fault.” Refuse to be melodramatic, or mean-spirited. Take the high road and do your best to keep the issues clear and your attitude calm.

This is not one of the fun things about a relationship, but it’s something that all couples go through at some point, and you can get through it, too.

[QUIZ] Take 15 Minutes and Learn Your Love Number

You deserve a relationship filled with passion, and you deserve a man who loves you without reserve. It’s time to allow yourself to let an amazing man love you.

The kind of man who wants what YOU want.

Who does wonderful things for you because he wants to make you happy. A man who dreams of you and only you. Who is loyal, loving, and who waits eagerly to be with you again whenever you’re separated.

The big question is, are you ready? Are you ready for that kind of love?