Monday Blues

I have been really struggling with social media lately. I think it's definitely a personal issue, but nonetheless its been a struggle. I feel like, for so long, I fell into a place of insecurity and comparison. To the point that I sacrificed what I stand for. Now, I am trying to make amends but also maintain a sense of confidence and individuality. I am so proud of my very recent work, and I think it's because I am being 100% myself. SO I wanted to share a little bit about how Instagram works, and the not so good that can come from it.

There is a standard of beauty on Instagram that is completely unrealistic and absurd. So many of those beautiful and perfect Instagrammers that you admire and even idolize are completely changing the way that they look in their pictures. It’s not easy to admit, because it’s sad to even consider. But I have edited my pictures to make myself more “perfect.” I was lying, through my images. “Flawless” skin, pearly whites, and glowing eyes. I edited my skin, my eyes, the whiteness of my teeth. I’m sure you can blatantly see this in my past photos, but I was so caught up in the perfection of other girls on Instagram that I didn’t even consider that they may be doing the exact same thing, making my extremely high standards completely unrealistic.

When I ditched social media for about 4 months. I swore that if I ever came back into the social media world, I would never again edit myself. It was sad on my part because I was looking at my pictures, over analyzing them, and picking myself apart. And it was sad on my follower’s part because they believed that I was something I wasn’t.

I am sharing this because it’s something that needs to be said. When you are scrolling through Instagram, and land on so-and-so’s picture in a bikini come summer time, remember that they aren’t THAT perfect. They are beautiful and strong and confident, but they aren’t perfect. And no one is.

Some girls go so far as to reshape their own bodies in order to feel “perfect.” Next time you see your favorite Instagrammer, remember that if her body looks unrealistic and makes you feel fat or uncomfortable with your own beautiful body, there is a chance that her body isn’t real.

We were created for so much more than outer beauty. The beauty of our hearts and souls, the beauty of kindness and love and joy, is far more valuable and meaningful.

I allowed Instagram to eat at my insecurities of acne and imperfection, and it really hurt my soul and my internal beauty. Now, I try to focus first on what’s in my head before I look in the mirror in the morning and get ready for my day. Waking up with gratitude, joy, and a heart ready to be kind is the best way to be beautiful both inside and out!

Today, I receive far less "you're perfect"s and far less likes on my pictures. But I am more happy and proud of my content because it is me and it's not me using my body to sell things. Instagram can be a wonderful place, but it can be completely toxic. Just try to remember what is going on behind the scenes of some of the posts you see and try not to compare your bloopers to their highlight reels.