A family counsellor turned author has caused outrage by claiming in his latest book that if women want to stop their partners straying, it is their responsibility to stop them.

Gary Neuman, an American psychotherapist who has featured on Oprah Winfrey's TV show and in Time magazine, has angered feminists by listing changes in behaviour that women should make in order to keep their companions faithful.

The tips - which Neuman says are 'dedicated to helping wives' - include: always forgiving him; giving him sex on demand; lavishing praise on him for providing for the family, even if earning more than him; rarely letting him out on his own with friends or work colleagues; and taking an interest in his hobbies.

But not all women appreciate Neuman's advice. 'Is it a joke book?' asked Dorothy Ramsay, chairwoman of the Association for Family Therapy. 'You could try this approach, I suppose. It depends whether you see marriage as so worthwhile that it's worth sacrificing one human being to sustain it. This country has moved on from that stance. It's OK if you expect one half of the couple to live in misery because they're constantly twisting themselves into contortions to serve their partner's needs.'

The author, whose book, The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, is published this week, insisted that he was just trying to offer women a helping hand: 'My work is dedicated to helping wives to learn and change in ways that will significantly benefit both them and their husbands. '

Neuman surveyed 25,500 faithful and unfaithful men before drawing his conclusions. He found that 69 per cent of those who cheated had never previously considered it a possibility, while almost 90 per cent linked their cheating to some 'significant dissatisfaction' in their marriage.

'If a husband has already cheated, his wife's role is to recognise that she needs to change,' added Neuman.

'But men will eventually find their way into the arms of another if they are not getting enough sex at home. Sex for men is the equivalent of the loving comment and thoughtful gesture for the woman. In short, when you give what your husband wants, he'll give a great deal back to you.'

'This is an appalling book,' said Susan Quilliam, a relationship psychologist and author. 'It's more like dog-training a man than being in an honest, successful, adult relationship with him.'