Elegant … Katherine Jenkins looks striking at Margaret Thatcher’s funeral. Quite why the fuck she was there is anyone’s guess. I mean, she would have been all of ten years old when the sick old bitch was turfed out of office by her own party.

KATHERINE Jenkins was one of the first to arrive for the funeral of Margaret Thatcher this morning. Always a good career move for someone who shouldn’t be there.

Wearing a tailored black coat and chicshit netted hat, she waited patiently to enter St Paul’s for the 11am service. How very fucking kind of her not to wait impatiently.

She was joined by a host of famous faces from the worlds of showbiz and politics. Not one of whom had bothered popping round to see Slaggy Thatcher since she went doolally.

Course, it is a bit of a one-upmanship type ‘fuck-you’, wrangling an invitation to such an occasion… Mind you, they’l be fucking sorry when the real truth about slaggy Maggie finally comes out.

Mrs Clegg chose a long-sleeved dress – to hide her anchor and Snake round a dagger tattoos – with a neat gold banded waist and a small silver brooch...

Not that anyone gave a fuck about the pair of thieves.

She too chose a low-key netted hat, worn to the side of her head... I just said no one gives a fuck about the pair of thieves.

Wheres Nonce McAlpine. Thats what I wanna know?

Dumb & Smart … Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg with wife, Miriam

Sun columnist Jeremy Clarkson was up next with his daughter Emily, 18.

Where’s ya wife Jerry. The one you cheated on?

Eyes downcast, hoping no one would notice his Mrs wasn’t with him, they were joined by Baron Lloyd-Webber, who followed closely behind them humming the theme from Jesus Christ Superstar and thinking to himself; ‘I wonder where Jezebels wife is’.

Guests … Gordon and Sarah Brown join over 2,000 people at the funeral… All at the public’s expense, the fucking ponces.

Mrs Thatcher’s own family put on a brave face despite their sadness… HA HA HA HA HA. Neither of her kids could fucking stand her.

Muggy Mark, the arms dealer couldn’t be fucking happier in fact. He now gets to play dress up with the other 760 Nonce Ponces in the House of Lords.

Son Mark dressed in a morning suit as he accompanied wife, Sarah, to St Paul’s from his mother’snewly acquired London home.

The glamorous blonde whore in a netted hat and pearls with a silk and satin frock coat.

BelovedMoron son … Mrs Thatcher’s son, Mark, escorts his wife, Sarah, to the ceremony… He only got lost twice.

Good Grief! … Carol Thatcher leaves home with her partner, Marco Grass, and nephew, Michael… Fuck knows which ones which, since they are both still at school, but neither can stand the wannabe bitch.

Mark’s twin sisterthing, Carol, left the house in a smart coat with velvet lapels and a bowed velvet hat.

Back in the City, London Mayor Boris Johnson risked a wave to the thousands of onlookers who’d come to pay their respectsJeer.

Never the less, the risk backfired as the crowd yelled in unison: FUCK OFF YOU TWAT.

He shielded his famous blond locks from the April drizzle an various projectiles thrown by the crowd, with an umbrella

Wave … Mayor Boris Johnson acknowledges the crowd and they did the same, most waving back with two fifths of their hands.

The Duchess of YPorky Pig arrived in a frock coat buttoned high up the neck, hoping that no one would ask to see her invite.

Flashing her signature auburnGinger hair, she wore a small black hat perched on the crown of her head. .. Quite where else she would wear a hat is anyone’s fucking guess.

Buttoned-up … The Duchess of YPork wears frock coat

Also hard to miss was actress Joan Collins, who wore a belted jacket and trilby with Chanel accessories.

The 120 year old actress who knew Mrs Thatcher from various newspaper clippings arrived with a fella who was imagining that he had a cock in his hand… Instead of one on his arm.

Chicken legs … Joan Collins arrives in Chanel suit and trilby. What better way to hide the wrinkles.

Fellow 80s iconman Sir Terry Wogan attended without wife, Helen.

The chat show host came in a bespoke suit with an overcoat over his arm.

Quite why Tel got an invite is anyone’s fucking guess… In fact, given the present climate, you would have thought that any long serving BBC deejay would rather been seen anywhere other than at Slaggy Maggie’s send off.

Icon … Sir Terry Wogan was a huge star during Thatcher’s reign and is now seemingly oblivious to the whispering campaign that his presence will inevitably start as he arrives at St Pauls humming the Davey Arthur song ‘Maggie’.

Falklands hero Simon Weston also came to pay his respects. The former Welsh Guard – badly burned in the 1982 conflict – had yesterday called for a “dignified” response to the funeral.

No one believes for a moment that Simon Weston was on regular speaking terms with Mad Maggie. Does he not realise that he is being used as propaganda?

Dignified but should have known better… Falklands hero Simon Weston

Leader of the Opposition Ed MilibandWallace chose a morning suit for the occasion. His wife, JustineGromit, kept the wet weather at bay with a simple raincoat, teamed with black hat and gloves.

The affair was a largely Tory affair with members of the Conservative Party both old and young coming to say farewell.

Course, the Tories are notorious for their affairs… Usually with children.

Chancellor of the Exchequer Georgeideon OsborneBean looked sombreabout to cry with wife, Frances.

Indeed the useless cunt blubbered like a baby throughout the service.

Sorrow … a stpony-faced George Osborne enters the church

And former Thatcher protegeegayboyWilliam Hague took time out from planning this year’s G8 summitWW3 to attend with wife, Ffion. Mrs HagueFfion chose a wide-lapelled coat with 1940s-style accessories.

Protteygeek … William Hague with wife, Ffion

Former colleagues of Maggie’s all thronged on the steps of the cathedral, including ex-ministers John Selwyn GummerMr Chumley Warner and Cecil Parkinson who dropped a bollock by getting an old slapper pregnant… Which obviously didn’t go down well with his wife buthe lightened the solemn occasion with a silent but violent fart and aknowing smile.

29 Comments

kimboMay 19, 2013 @ 10:00 am

Ha ha, really funny god how i fckn hate them all. Parasitic slimey maggots, all squirming 2gether with their large sucker mouths sucking up all the money they can & tryna sniff for more of the green stuff. Hang em high!!!

dogmanMay 19, 2013 @ 10:32 am

Absolutely priceless Chris. LMAO! I expect Lord Mc was at home with the kids! Innocent face!

hoffmanlensesMay 19, 2013 @ 10:45 am

All those politicians and celebrities. And not one spine, ounce of dignity or moral between them. Roll on the time they leave this mortal coil.

Looks like there may be one or two rats amongst that lot who wouldn’t mind slapping a bit of venom on their pampered, parasitical, plastic, pouts. Go on indulge yourselves, you too Camilla, you know you want to and it would give the bees a break.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22529655

MickMay 19, 2013 @ 1:33 pm

Thatcher chose to be cremated instead of being buried like other public figures because her grave would have attracted day-out bus tours so it could be pissed and shit on. That self-denial for fear of indignation is a great victory if we think about it.

Pete the feetMay 19, 2013 @ 2:25 pm

So true Chris,
“The eye’s have it” Keep the faith. she is gone.But we go on…

Come on, Spivington, you know better than that. Obviously Jenkins is a Monarch sex robot belonging to one of the satanic monsters in the crowd and he brought her along to show off at the after-orgy. Sheesh!

Spives: “Be sure to watch the eye’s, its always in the eyes.”

I propose that what Thatcher was doing there is the “power stare”, a technique taught to all salesmen from Dixons Saturday boys to second-hand car dealers. The technique is to fix your gaze on the bridge of your “customer’s” nose, so to them it appears as if there is nowhere to look without your powerful stare bearing down on them. It was all the rage in the 80s. However, that decade was not digitally sophisticated (the “micro-chip” still had speechmarks round it) so Thatcher and her handlers didn’t realise that:

a) You can’t do a power-stare on someone on a TV screen who can’t see you.

b) From any angle other than the “customer’s” point of view your power-stare looks like the bulging eyes of a psychopath, all the more so with the parallax effect of a 1980s TV camera.

Surely being as close to a manifested devil as Betty is must give her the warmth of hell 24/7.

Spives: “Emilys a bit of alright though… Just saying.”

Yes, but you know that as soon as you bust a nut over her face she’d be saying

“that was the best cumshot ever………………..since…………… Paris HILTON’S TITS!”

Spives: “Falklands hero Simon Weston also came to pay his respects.”

Or to publicise his website, Friends Reignited.

The main question I ask after this extravagant satanic ritual is why can’t I be targeted by the Crown Agent Sisters to set me up with a fit, dirty wife way out of my league? I would feed it every day and let in the house on cold nights. WTF?

SENSIBLE ONEMay 19, 2013 @ 5:34 pm

what a load of c*nts.

Dave 679May 19, 2013 @ 7:30 pm

Personally I was a bit disappointed Katherine Jenkins didn’t get her tits out during the service and pop one in David Camerons mouth and the other in Nick Clegs just so they could say they did once enjoy working together.

CeeMay 19, 2013 @ 10:27 pm

Visited this site daily for a long time. Chris I love the things you say, but today I don’t. In this country if you call someone a black bastard or a paki you would expect repercussions, but you had to make a remark about the crossed out auburn Ginger Fergie. There are so many people in this country who are affected by the JOKING about gingers. Children suicidal and there is nothing they can do about it except accept it. Bullying THROUGHOUT their school years in work and elsewhere.
I expected more from you Chris and no doubt you’ll joke about this comment. By all means pull Fergie for the scheming brat she is, but leave the ginger victimisation will you? You have to see a child in a suicidal state to empathise with what I’m saying.

adminMay 20, 2013 @ 3:51 am

Hi Cee,

Why did you expect more from me?

I’m all for breaking down barriers and doing away with ism’s. I am not into putting labels on people to mark them out as being in some way inferior

However, calling someone a black bastard or a Paki is totally different from describing someone as Ginger. After all, ginger is not a skin tone, its a hair colour.

As it happens, my Grandad was proper Ginger and although I was classed as Blonde, the wispy bits at the sides of me ears was a bit suspect at times.

Therefore I cannot be described as having Gingivitis.

Course, I have to tell you that I wouldn’t take offence if someone called me a white bastard (although I might take offence to the bastard bit) or being called a Brit.

“Ahhh but Black people aren’t Black they are Brown”.

By the same token, I’m not white, I’m beige or pink, or multicoloured.

Furthermore, someone who comes from Pakistan is every bit as much a paki as someone from Britain is a Brit.

In other words, I don’t judge people by the colour of their skin, their hair or their sexuality. I judge them by their morals and actions.

Indeed, I have friends who are Black, Asian, Homosexual and Ginger, although none with all 4 qualities.

Obviously, I am aware that to label a person as being a Black bastard or a Paki could be taken as a racist insult, in much the way that some people with Ginger hair suffer from a complex which is unfortunately picked up on by other non-ginger kids who can be very cruel.

However, by making any characteristic in a person a sensitive issue, will inevitably lead to jokes and those people being singled out for bullying.

I hate bullies, but labelling something as being something else is not going to stop the bullying.

Now, the reason that I crossed the auburn out and inserted ginger is because, Fergie is fucking ginger, not Auburn. Had Ross Kemp been in one of the photos and described as being folically challenged I would have crossed that out and inserted bald… Like myself.

Now, I bet you a pound to a penny that even the ginger kids pick on the baldies at school.

This site is not for those of a sensitive disposition I’m afraid. However, I would be more offended by the Sun describing ginger haired people as being Auburn, which to me insinuates that there is something wrong with being ginger when that simply isnt true.

Don’t make issues where issues dont exist… at least they dont on this site anyway.

Chris. x

Sigh OpsMay 20, 2013 @ 12:43 am

I chose to mark this sombre occasion by going to work, then getting home, having my tea, reading a few blogs and then going to sleep.

I will do the same thing when the queen and prince paedophillip have their carcasses hauled through the streets.

Out of respect.

Jim GrahamMay 20, 2013 @ 3:44 am

Excellent. Spiv you need to get on vid with this shit. We can destroy them with humour, and even if we fail, at least we’ve told them, Get It Right Up Ye! Keep on trucking.

Hold Fast, Jim Graham.

SENSIBLE ONEMay 20, 2013 @ 7:59 am

^^^^^^

Hey Chris…….

GINGER NUT FELL IN THE CUT

FARTED ON THE FISH

THE FISH JUMPED UP AND GOBBLED HIM UP

AND THAT WAS THE END OF GINGER NUT

lol lighten up cee ffs

carlMay 20, 2013 @ 8:15 am

I’m Married to a redhead believe me Ginger nut is like walking up to Mike Tyson and calling him a black bastard nigger – I like my balls where they are.

It is offensive to them, it is and has been used in a derogatory manner and is a way of singling them out from the crowd. Red heads do not like it – that is good enough for me.

Frank74May 20, 2013 @ 8:51 am

LMAO….cheers for lightening up such a sickening piece of purile, brown nosing tripe. Scum, the lot of them.

ANIMAL LOVERMay 20, 2013 @ 9:07 am

It seems they just saw this as an excuse to dress up [badly] USING THE TAX PAYERS MONEY and rub salt in2 hard working peoples wounds, who are struggling to exsist, let alone live these days.

DONT VOTE

DONT BUY A T V LICENCE

DO WHAT YOU CAN TO SCRAPE SOME OF YOUR MONEY BACK THAT THE CORRUPT C8NTS HAVE STOLEN FROM YOU OVER THE YEARS.

DecencyMay 20, 2013 @ 1:44 pm

Hardly Inspiring and an Insult to the Memory of All Those who have Suffered
Under the Evil Jezebel of the British Margaret Thatcher Regime

ashadowfallsMay 20, 2013 @ 3:13 pm

Just nearly pissed me-self laughing at this article and the responces.
Honestly, i’ve always thought that Katherine Jenkins was a strange piece, them eyes are never right!. . . i’d still chuck one up it given half a chance tho!!

Say it how it is. I DOMay 20, 2013 @ 4:28 pm

@ SENSIBLE ONE

Great ryme! lmfao

SteveMay 21, 2013 @ 10:23 am

Mr. Spiv.
I’d just like to say that I’ve just read your article above and found it extremely puerile, totally disrespectful to our monarchy and leaders, and especially unkind the Margaret Thatcher on the day she was put to rest.
BRILLIANT!
Keep up the good work.

SENSIBLE ONEMay 21, 2013 @ 12:12 pm

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ say it how it is…

I TRY MY BEST!!!!!! LMAO

ANIMAL LOVERMay 21, 2013 @ 12:26 pm

That fergie is one UGLY FAT BINT………..

I thought maggie was an OLD CROW, but her daughter carol is even worse, she looks like a fu*king VULTURE

……..well guess you cant expect much else when inbreeding is concerned LMAO

and is it just me? but gordon brown looks like his face has been glued on, ive seen better looking BULLDOGS

DecencyMay 21, 2013 @ 4:10 pm

A Revolutionary Commission For Inverstigation and Justice should Examine
the Crimes of the Regime and Also the Crimes of Regime Collaborators as
Well

Thanks for the laugh Spivey – best laugh all day. Spot on with all of these 🙂

SteveMay 22, 2013 @ 1:08 am

Brilliant! if we dont take the piss out of them we are lost. They believe they hold all the cards and have all the power. Well its going to be taken away from them.

Pissed-off-FrankMay 22, 2013 @ 11:51 pm

What the hell was Clarkson doing at this gig? If he thinks this crowd have the slightest respect for him he needs a rethink. He’s tolerated because of his money. Otherwise, he’s known as the Clown of Chipping Norton. His time would be better spent visiting a dentist. Looking into his mouth is like looking into an open sewer.

andy burnsOctober 21, 2013 @ 2:33 pm

I don`t like large gathering of cunts at the best of times but it pisses me of even more when we have to pay for it.

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