What’s my “sexual” orientation if I date a Transsexual?

People are attracted to gender expression first and foremost before knowing the “sex” of a person. My gender is Female my sex is Transsexual. People that are attracted to me are first and foremost attracted to my gender identity as Female and some to me being Transsexual. But gender comes first. Now if someone identifies as male and is attracted to my gender as female then he is expressing a hetero-gender orientation. If the organs are two penii that may create a sense of homosexuality BUT if the people identify as both being opposite genders then it’s best to just understand that there is a hetero attraction there. It’s the gender identity that counts the most not the sexual organs. Maybe a safe term for that person is heteroflexible but that’s just another label to add to the mix of so many. Maybe it can work, maybe not… but it is used. For the sack of simplicity… the couple would be a straight couple.

Now from the other perspective a person who identifies as gender Female and another person as gender Female and one of the partners is Transsexual it is best to understand that this is still a Homo-gender, Gay/Lesbian relationship.

Not all Transsexual people have Sexual Reassignment Surgery because either they are comfortable with the organs they have, that can’t afford it, or technology is advanced enough yet. For these people sense we honestly do not look between people’s legs on a regular basis and we shouldn’t unless they are our partner or experimenting… then it is best to understand the gender attraction over the sexual organ attraction.

Transsexual Female + Female = Lesbian couple ~ Homo

Transsexual Female + Male = Straight couple – Hetero

Transsexual Male + Male = Gay couple ~ Homo

Transsexual Male + Female = Straight couple – Hetero

Also take into account that any one of these partners could be Bisexual, Pansexual, or Asexual… and maybe identify as gender Gender-Neutral. But these are the basics.

I fully believe that it really all comes down to if two or more people love each other it’s wonderful regardless of ridiculous labels. But for the majority it’s hard for people to think outside of labels. So that’s why I write the blogs that I do like this one. If a person is Gender-Neutral yes there can be a sense of Pansexuality. That’s one of the main reasons the term Pansexual is used is because of people who defy gender-norms.

The language around sexuality is so tied up in the gender binary that it makes no sense once you start thinking outside of that system. The truth is there are no words to describe my sexuality, if I were a man I would be straight, if I were a woman I would be a lesbian, but I’m neither so there are no good words for me.

From my Gender-Neutral perspective as a person who is attracted to all types of individuals… I would say for me sometimes being attracted to a woman may feel straight and sometimes feel like I’m a lesbian. For the most part I feel straight attracted to men but once in a while I feel gay.

I want to be with someone that likes me for being a woman… a somewhat androgynous/gender-neutral woman. But a woman none the less. That’s why I’m transitioning.

Going to have to disagree here. While certainly many people would say they are attracted to gender first, many more would argue that it goes much deeper. There are different kinds of attraction, too: physical, sexual, emotional…

I would also be careful about labelling other people’s relationships. Two women (trans or cis) do not comprise “a lesbian couple” if one or both do not identify as lesbians. Same is true for two men, or an opposite-sex couple. At the end of the day, the answer to your question – “What is my ‘sexual’ orientation if I date a transsexual?’ – is a highly personal one.

I’ve already mentioned Bisexuals, Asexuals, Pansexuals, and Genderqueer individuals, various people. Generally speaking it is true by first appearance a person is attracted to gender first. If you are looking for a woman then you are going to be looking for a woman, etc. A CisWoman with a TransWoman generally speaking = a Lesbian couple. It doesn’t mean that both or either are Lesbian. The appearance is that they are a Lesbian couple… they may be a Bisexual or Pansexual couple. But for the sake of simplicity this is what this article is about. Also I mentioned Asexuals so that already covers the fact that some people may ONLY experience emotional and/or romantic attraction… NOT sexual, physical or otherwise… and some of them will not experience any attraction of any kind. This is about appearance and presentation. The deeper aspect of the relationship is for the couple to know and if they want to share it. So if you would notice everything you said was already something I’ve addressed. The point of this article is to inform people… if you would notice in my other writings… that a man and TransWoman does NOT equal a gay male couple…. it may very well equal a straight couple. Let’s not miss the point.

Wonderful article. I myself don’t really identify as anything other than a “lover”. I’ve been attracted to men, women, FtM, MtF, and whatever else in between. It can be hard to explain to others who cannot wrap their head around anything other than straight, gay, and bisexual orientations. Maybe I should show this to some folks.