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Too distracted to nurse

I nursed DD1 and DD2 for over 2.5 years each (even tandem nurse) but DD3 is so different I'm scared she will wean, she is only 9 mo! I'm not ready for that and I think she's too young.

She does not NIP at all, she is too distracted, she only nurses at nap-time (only at her afternoon nap, usually at her morning nap we are out and about), at bedtime and throughout the night (we co-sleep). That's it. I'm used to nursing all the time with DD1 and DD2 but DD3 wants to be in the action while awake. OH, and sometimes at bedtime, she is too full from lunch or dinner and she will nurse for just a few minutes :'(

I tried nursing in a dark, quiet room and that works a bit but to be honest, my house is never quiet. My other girls follow me every.where.I.go!! They are allowed to watch TV at certain times of the day but those times do not match DD3's schedule to nurse (except for nap-time)

Do you think she is weaning?
Is it possible this is just a phase?
Is there anything I can do to keep her interested? I sometimes feel I'm forcing her to nurse!

Re: Too distracted to nurse

I also have a very distractable LO and at that age mine was the same. There was no NIP for us, and even in a quiet empty house she still would be distracted by a dog barking outside, you name it. I think just hang in there and she'll come back around. Mine did and is still going strong.

TBH It felt like forcing when she would be rejecting. But it wasn't forcing, it was offering and her rejecting. I just made the most of any opportunity I had to keep her interested. Maybe things like a special nursing necklace (or earrings lol) would help. I also tried singing and humming the same song just for nursing to keep her attention. I imagine its much harder with the other little ones and I don't have advice there other than to have them distracted doing something else.

Re: Too distracted to nurse

I'm in the trenches with you so I can't offer any hope for the future necessarily. My DS (also 9 mo) is starting to become more interested in doing stuff since he's been crawling, and not bored enough to relax and nurse; he'll scream and writhe if I try to nurse him and he's "busy". I think he gets on average 4 daytime nursings, plus a couple failed attempts. (I'm mainly just wanting him well-hydrated while he's awake, since it's so hot and dry here). On the other hand, his night-time nursing has become more or less constant the entire night. Thank goodness for cosleeping.

Do you think she may just be packing on the calories at night?
Could you give her something to do with her hands while she's nursing in the daytime to help her focus or would that be worse?
If you shifted her solids mealtimes to a bit earlier in the day--like giving breakfast and lunch rather than lunch and dinner--do you think it would help so she could nurse longer in the evening? Just brainstorming, I know it's harder to be flexible when you have older kids, too. Or maybe offer a smaller dinner if you're really worried she's getting too much solids?

Re: Too distracted to nurse

to increase daytime nursing sessions, I suggest offer to nurse more often (don't pressure, but offer) and make a point of nursing prior to meals.

9 months is prime time for a nursing strike, which is not weaning. Nutritionally this is indeed much too early to wean, your baby needs the nutritional density of breastmilk. (or formula if not breastfed) until at least a year. Even after solids are introduced, Most of babies nutrition should be coming from breastmilk.

it is good you are nursing at night precisely because it is probably helping baby get enough. But with a little gentle persistance you may be able to increase nursing during the day.

maybe you can engage your daughters in helping you solve this problem of distraction. to create a quiet time, can you read to them or tell them stories while you nurse? do they have dolls or stuffed animals they can nurse while you nurse baby? etc.

Re: Too distracted to nurse

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR GREAT ADVICE!

"Could you give her something to do with her hands while she's nursing in the daytime to help her focus or would that be worse? " Distracting her doesn't work, as soon as I offer something to play with, she just prefers that rather than nurse.
"If you shifted her solids mealtimes to a bit earlier in the day--like giving breakfast and lunch rather than lunch and dinner--do you think it would help so she could nurse longer in the evening? Just brainstorming, I know it's harder to be flexible when you have older kids, too. Or maybe offer a smaller dinner if you're really worried she's getting too much solids? " She is eating 3 solids a day, we eat all together so that wouldn't work. We do BLS so she wants what everybody else is having.
"maybe you can engage your daughters in helping you solve this problem of distraction. to create a quiet time, can you read to them or tell them stories while you nurse? do they have dolls or stuffed animals they can nurse while you nurse baby? etc. " If I talk, DD3 gets distracted by my voice and latches off and wants to do something else, I have to be quiet, in a dark room and with no one else around, not even if my girls stay still.
"it is good you are nursing at night precisely because it is probably helping baby get enough. " Really? I hear her nursing big gulps of milk but how can I be sure she eats enough to count as enough?
"But with a little gentle persistance you may be able to increase nursing during the day. " I offer before each meal but she rejects, is like she knows food is coming or something. She sucks her thumb and seems content with that I am very persistent, but I'm scared she'll just quit. I feel like if we didn't co-sleep, she would just suck her thumb and put herself to sleep. Thank goodness for that!

Re: Too distracted to nurse

I would probably loosen up on the TV time for the older girls for now so that you can get a few more nursing sessions in. How much does she nurse at night? I think you can know that she is getting enough if she is growing, happy, alert, etc. Sounds like she's plenty alert!!

Re: Too distracted to nurse

Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah

I would probably loosen up on the TV time for the older girls for now so that you can get a few more nursing sessions in. How much does she nurse at night? I think you can know that she is getting enough if she is growing, happy, alert, etc. Sounds like she's plenty alert!!

Thanks! She is growing and she's my happiest baby but I'm scared she'll slowly will replace "me" by food. I know that is the natural way of weaning, I just don't want that to happen so soon.

She nurses between 3 and 4 times a night, until she falls asleep again (or not, but that's a different post )

Does anyone have a happy ending story? I mean, one that started like me and ended up nursing for a long time? (besides oakdryad5's story, thanks for that one!!)
Thanks again!

Re: Too distracted to nurse

My lo just started with getting distracted, by my voice, anyone else's voice, the t.v., anything else around her. She's younger than your lo, but it sounds like something that might be common (but not weaning yet neccessarily). Sorry I don't have any happy ending story yet, but good luck mama.

Re: Too distracted to nurse

yes, I know of another happy ending story. I'll post the link in a minute. I bought myself a $20 sound machine and it drowns out the neighbor dogs, big delivery trucks, and my toddler's playing in the other room. I also bought hideous blackout curtains for my bedroom. I have been nursing my refusing baby since she was 10 weeks old. She's almost 9 months now. I have found something works for like a month and then I have to change it up. I nursed her exclusively in her sleep for 2 full months. And even now, I can nurse her during a nap. Currently, I stand and pace or sway to nurse her. She ALSO loves her thumb. However, mine won't eat any food. She refuses it just as bad as nursing. :/ So I have to stand on my head to get milk into her sometimes. Let me find that link.

Re: Too distracted to nurse

Wow! You are one dedicated mommy! I also have white noise, in every room actually. We use a fan but it works just fine. Problem is once she sees or hears, even with white noise, something that catches her attention, I'm done! She is doing a bit better these past couple of days, I think it's also related to teething. I will keep trying and thanks for the link!