This is an open journal of my experience coping with infidelity and sex addiction. Or...What To Expect When You Weren't Expecting.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis B. Smedes

The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tip of the iceberg?

I have a sick feeling that my experience is only part of the tip of a very big iceberg that we face as a very troubled society.

Dan Rather's article in the Huffington Post describes the trafficking of child prostitutes on the west coast.

It's so sad and disturbing, because I see our society getting worse before it gets better because inappropriate sexuality is so accepted in the mainstream.

But all the more reason to speak out, to shine light where there is darkness, misinformation and denial. It's time to start talking about what is HEALTHY rather than what people want to do. Because sometimes what people want to do, (or what they're willing to do) even if it's legal, isn't healthy and we need the tools to be able to make that distinction. Do what one will, fine. But let's have a clearer line about what results in healthy, well adjusted adults who are able to have intimate relationships.

About Me

Woman. Mid 40s. In this committed relationship since 1988. Married since 1997. Husband started seeking out lap dances to orgasm around 1994/95, hand jobs and blow job from prostitutes around 2001 when I was pregnant. Intercourse with prostitutes began in 2003, and was discovered June 1, 2007.

The Point of Marriage

"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." - Rainer Maria Rilke