Greetings and salutations!
I apologize if I'm posting in the wrong place, if what I'm about to post has been said/done before, and if what I'm about to post is totally absurd and potentially blasphemous. Here goes:

I think Pastafarians should be able to select Pirate Saints! Yes, that's right. Not real people though. Oh no, if real people could be made Saints we'd have a new person every three months demanding saint-hood.
I think that fictional characters should be made Pirate Saints. You know, such as 'Captain Jack Sparrow' and... 'Guybrush Threepwood'! Fictional pirates like that who some of us may think really embody parts of the piratey spirit. (If you don't know who Guybrush Threepwood is, wiki "Monkey Island." If you don't know who Jack Sparrow is... I'm sorry.)

Nothing to apologize for: I actually tried to say that most Pastafians don't make that much difference between real and fictional pirates... FSM is too tolerant to care about (and most of the time too drunk to notice) the difference anyway, and to leave Jack Sparrow out of CoFSM would be a pity indeed.

I decided to canonise myself years ago--mind you I became a saint from a Discordian perspective long before CoFSM started (officially that is). You too can do it, if you can think of anything I haven't taken yet.

All you need to do is be martyred for your beliefs (which happens to me all the time), and perform three miracles (I've performed hundreds of them).

Easy.

St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Everything That Hasn't Been Taken Yet

The saints of Catholicism are given care of specific domains and concerns. Should this be the case with Piraticals as well?

Be careful then: in the church of a little village near my place, people came from abroad to see an image (one of the stained glass windows) of a saint, whom (?) had been asked favors for quite some of centuries. A couple of decades ago the person turned out not to be on any list of saints, although she had been popular (and efficient!) enough to deserve a stained glass window! The locals still refer to her as "saint": she had done the job well enough, probably...

I think many out there who are fictional people, unconscious hosts to pirate spirits and potential followers of His Noodley Appendage masquerading as the average joe till they eventually find Pastafarianism in all its glory. I say, why not have fictional pirate saints?

There is no need to be so picky: simply make a list as long or as short as you like. After all, Pastafarianism is different in every man/woman's heart. For example, why not make Blackbeard the pirate saint of black beards? That's a good thing to be a pirate saint of, if you ask me.

fictional pirates as saints? thats basically saying our religion is a falsification and distortion of realities. Pirates as portrayed in modern culture are the antithesis of what we know pirates to be.

p.s., for those of you who were unaware or have forgotten, pirates are divine beings who are nice and give candy to small children which does NOT entail taking them into the back of a van. all these pirates here are killers and robbers...and shit.