"You were one person. Whole. A masterpiece, really." The devil sips at his soda and grimaces. "A perfect balance of good and evil in one splendidly unpredictable package."

"So what happened?"

"No one knows. God likes to believe you tired of the evil in your heart and cast it out. I have a different theory, of course: you had something so terrible to do it ripped your soul in two. The question is," he pauses to pull a bottle of vodka from his pocket and chug it, ("Ah, much better!") then leans closer, "what was it you had to do?"