Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A Loyal Reader Writes

People often write to me for a little bit o' my wisdom. I do my best. Here's something I received earlier today.

Dear Nightwatchman,

My ipod shuffle keeps choosing a Roots Manuva song every second song for around 200 songs when I only have 2 albums and 5 or so extra songs by him.

Kind Regards,

Miss Nonplussed, Carlton North

Thanks for writing, Miss Nonplussed. The shuffle is an interesting and important topic for our times. Not a weekend bbq goes by these days without a discussion on the strange behaviors of our shuffles.

Is the shuffle really random?

Does the shuffle know more than it lets on to know?

If you're thinking of a certain someone and their fave song pops up, does it mean you're both bound to make thousands of babies together?

Geez, I hope not.

As I ponder your query, Miss Nonplussed, a jazzy number from Lalo Schifrin's Dirty Harry soundtrack pops up, followed by the lovely My Morning Jacket ode, Evelyn Is Not Real. Does that mean something? What does it mean? Evelyn? Are you there? Evelyn, are you really real?

The Complete Stax Volt Singles dominates my shuffle. Fair enough, it's a huge box set and I'm not complaining. That's what you get when you put boxes on your ipod.

But there is one record that really gives me the da-dits. The Tiger Lillies & The Kronos Quartet's tribute to Ed Gorey, The Gorey End. The guy's kooky falsetto voice in the Tiger Lillies gives me piles. Sat through a whole song just then.

It hurt.

So my answer to your question, Miss Nonplussed, if it was indeed a question is....

That in these lean times, it's better to be getting lots of Roots than no Roots at all.

Even though Steely Dan rarely pops up on my shuffle, this is the definitive article on the ipod's mystery.

Here's a good bit.

Some people assumed their iPods not only played favourites but drew on mystical powers to choose their songs. "My iPod is my crystal ball," wrote Paul Toennis of Billings, Montana. "Although I am still a beginner cryptologist, I do know for a fact that two songs from any artist is a danger signal. I learned this the hard way a couple of years ago - just prior to getting popped off my road bike by a red pick-up truck, a second Barenaked Ladies song in a row began to play from my white oracle box."

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