Logic: if an empty yogurt container is in the sink, a spoon is in the garbage can.

* * *

Logically, a wireless mouse should be called a hamster.

* * *

— I started a new life today.
— You quit smoking and drinking?
— No, I changed my email and Facebook accounts.

* * *

— The reviewer has rejected your paper submitted to our math journal because it doesn’t contain any theorems or fomulae or even numbers.
— Wait a minute. Your reviewer is mistaken. There are page numbers on every page.

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A kyboard for sal: only on ky dosn’t work.

* * *

My computer always beats me in chess. In revenge, I always beat it in a boxing match.

* * *

— Were your parents married when you were born?
— 50%.
— 50%?
— Yes, my father was married and my mother was not.

* * *

Two programmers are talking:
— I can’t turn on my oven.
— What’s the error message?