Write your own rejection

Your application was horrible. At no point in our review process did we even come close to admitting you. In fact, we are all dumber now for having read your PS regarding the book "See Spot Run." We awarded you no points toward admission or our waitlist and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,

Dean XToo Good For You Law School

P.S. We hope you don't mind, but we've added your application to a collection we're putting together for a book about how not to apply to law school.

We are unable to take favorable action on your application. You have reached the final frontier of rejection. We have tainted this letter with anthrax. If that does not kill you, please use the enclosed cyanide tablet.