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September 5, 2013

I Hraet You (89)

Beat 89: No Victory for Old Psychologists

“Combine?” Lloyd
repeated. “Wait a moment. So does that mean…?”

“Uh-huh.” Sheila gestured toward Deirdre. “It’s like she said. She can’t beat you. And neither can I -- so I guess you can call
this your win.” She pressed her fingers
together. “A-a-although I’m sorry you
had to work so hard to get this far.
It’s -- i-i-it’s not like I wanted to cause so much trouble. It just kind of…happened.”

“Think nothing of
it. Although…” Lloyd’s eyes shifted to his left. “Am I really the one you should be
apologizing to?”

“But…but I…”

Lloyd flashed a
smile. “I would consider myself lucky to
be in your position, Miss O’Leary. I
imagine very few people ever get a chance to have a conversation with their
imaginary friends. I’d bet there are
more than a few kindergarteners that are jealous of you -- so why not take
advantage of the opportunity? You might
never get one again.”

Sheila nodded -- and
with an unsteady step, she turned to face Deirdre at last. “I…s-sorry, but I…I don’t even know where to
begin. I mean, this is all so unreal,
I…” She rubbed the back of her
head. “Gosh, this is really gonna be
hard…”

Deirdre just stared at
Sheila, her smirk long since gone.

“Okay. I guess I should start with…with…” Sheila snapped into a bow. “I’m sorry!
I-I’m really sorry! I only made
you because I was sad and lonely, and then I ended up hurting you just so I
could feel better! And then you…y-y-you
helped me out anyway! That’s so nice of
you, and I’m really glad you did! I know
I’ve done some awful things to you, and I know I can be really demanding, and I
know that I’m a no-good screw up and a loser and a crybaby, but I…I just want
you to know that you really mean a lot to me, and I’m sorry! I know I can’t make up for what I did, and
I’m still a total loser, but I wanna --”

“Stand up straight,
Sheila.”

Sheila gasped, but did
as told. At least, she tried to.

“I thought I said stand
up straight,” said Deirdre. “Completely
straight. Arch your back. Don’t slump your shoulders. And for God’s sake, raise your head. I want to be able to look you in the eye.”

Sheila did as told with
a puny yelp -- though by the looks of it, she didn’t have much practice
standing up straight. She looked as if
she might snap in to at any moment, or at the very least fall over backwards. For seconds at a time Lloyd actually saw her
start to lose her balance. But Deirdre
didn’t bother to save her from a fall; she just stood there, watching, judging
her poise. At least, until she decided
to speak her mind.

“Sheila!” she
blurted. “You’ve got huge boobs!”

Both Lloyd and Sheila
nearly fell over.

“Your chest can snap
bras in two! Your ass is like a giant
peach! You’ve got legs for weeks, and a
waist that’s curvier than a million-dollar vase! Like it or not, you’re beautiful, so act like
it! You’re not allowed to be this
snot-nosed little crybaby any more -- not while I’m around!” She cocked her head upward and started to
grin. “A girl like you needs a bit of
work, yeah, but there’s no doubt in my mind that with a little help from yours truly, you’ll go from knockout
material to a real megaton bombshell!”

“You think so?”

“Well, as long as we
can do something about everything from the neck up.”

“B-but everything from
the neck up was your idea!” Sheila
pumped her fists up and down. “You said
that if people weren’t as interested in looking at my face, they’d look at my
body more! That’s what we want, right?”

“Oh yeah. I did say that, didn’t I? Well, whatever. Now that I think about it, you could probably
get the same effect by wearing lower-cut tops.”
She scratched at her cheek -- and for the first time in ages, she
started to redden. “I guess I say a lot
of stuff to you, don’t I? Uh…try not to
get too mad, but sometimes I just say stuff to get a laugh.”

“W-wait, what? A laugh?!”

“Well, yeah. An imaginary friend has to entertain herself
somehow, so what better way than to have her girl put on a show?”

“So you’ve been
trolling me?”

“Not all the time. Just…you know, whenever I get the chance for
some real laughs. Which I have to admit
is kind of often.” She raised an
eyebrow. “You mad?”

“Yes, I’m mad! Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve
landed me in on a regular basis? I
thought you were trying to help me out!”

Deirdre shrugged. “I guess you could call us even, then.” But before Sheila could say anything more,
she shook her head. “No. No, that won’t do. I guess…I guess I should just go ahead and
apologize. You’ve been counting on me,
and I’ve been holding you back just to suit myself. That’s not something an imaginary friend -- a
friend, period -- should ever do. I
mean…well, maybe if it wasn’t for me interfering, you’d be a lot farther along
in life. Making your mom proud. Laughing it up with a bunch of friends. Maybe even having a cute little relationship.” She laughed sharply. “Isn’t that sad? I put you in a situation where you only need
me because of me. I always knew I was kind of a bitch, but now
that I’m getting forced to realize it…it’s not a good feeling.”

“Then can I make it up
to you?” Sheila asked. She held out a
hand. “I don’t want you feeling
bad. If you do, then I wouldn’t be much
of a friend, either. So…y-you know, if
you want, we can start working together.
You can give me courage and confidence, and I’ll give
you…um…something. Kindness, I
guess? Or maybe a few laughs. Or -- well, I guess I’ll always be someone
you can talk to.”

“Heh. Still have a ways to go, girl. But I guess I do, too -- and by the sound of
things…” She glanced at Lloyd for a
moment. “…They’re things that I can’t do
alone. So I guess I need you to keep me
in check. Don’t let me be as much of a
bitch as I’ve been in the past -- because if I am, then I’m gonna be missing
out on a whole lot of the good stuff in life.
And I definitely want to be there for your first kiss…and beyond.”

“Of course. And you’ll help me get there in the first
place. B-but I’ll do my best to get
there on my own.”

“And I’ll help if you
need me. And I won’t try to sabotage it
or anything.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Sheila looked down at
her outstretched hand, and then back up at Deirdre. “Sooooo…are you just gonna leave me hanging?”

“Easy, girl. I just wanted to make sure you and I were on
the same page first.”

“How could we not? We’re the same person.”

Deirdre stared at her
in shock, but in the end couldn’t do much more than smile and nod. “Heh.
Yeah, I guess that’s true. I’m
you…and you’re me.” She extended a hand. “So let’s take this world by storm.”

“I’ve got a better
Idea. Let’s be the storm.”

“Is that even
possible?”

“I dunno. But it sure sounds cool.” And with that, she took Deirdre’s hand in her
own.

It was if a star had
exploded on-stage. Lloyd nearly toppled
from the force, and if he’d been a few pounds lighter he might have actually
flown into the rear wall. Somehow he
managed to hold his ground, shielding himself from the red and white supernova,
and hoping that the light didn’t sear his skin.
Thankfully, it didn’t; he could feel the heat prickling his forearms,
but it died down soon enough. Hopefully,
it meant he could open his eyes without risking blindness.

It did, indeed. As his eyelids slid open, Lloyd caught a
glimpse of stars in orbit -- a wide orbit, large enough to accommodate a pair,
or even a trio. More importantly, he
could see four stars. Four golden,
glimmering stars -- but as if they’d sensed his gaze, they broke formation and
darted into the four corners of the stage.
That didn’t stop their shining, though; if anything, they grew more
luminous than before.

That just left Lloyd
with the stage, and its would-be performers.
Sheila and Deirdre stood their ground, with a hand clasped around the
rolled-up -- and now-completed -- script.
Above their locked hands hovered the rabbit mask -- the whole rabbit mask, now in perfect form
and smiling cheerfully. The perfect
complement to the ladies below.

“It goes without
saying, but for formality’s sake, I can say that the two of you have earned the
part,” Lloyd said with a grin. “Now
then. I trust you know what comes
next? A bit of confirmation is in order,
I’d say.”

Sheila and Deirdre
turned to each other and nodded in perfect unison, and turned back to
Lloyd. “I don’t know what the future
holds,” they said in sync. “But that’s no
reason for me to refuse to try. If you
want me to bloom, then I’ll bloom -- and one day, I’ll find a dream that makes
me happy to be alive.”

“Well said, Miss
O’Leary. Well said.”

“And who knows? Maybe one day, I’ll be surrounded by an army
of hot guys!”

“Aaaaaaaaand once
again, it goes a step too far.” Lloyd
laughed to himself and shrugged. “Then
again, I suppose that a step too far is best, so long as it moves you out of a
vicious cycle. And with that…”

The mask spun in midair
and burst, spreading its red mist throughout the audition room. As the last of it faded, Lloyd turned to the
adjacent wall, where black vines had sealed off the exit. They’d been still for ages, but now they
started to jostle and gyrate -- and then, they climbed up the wall. Higher and higher they went, growing,
spreading, and stretching as far as they could.
And as Lloyd looked about, he saw the same thing happen to the other
walls; vines sprouted from the walls, the ceiling, and even the ground itself,
doing their best to shroud the room.

And as they did, they
transformed. The harsh black texture
gave way to a lively shade of green, and the thorns that could have gored a man
shrank. In their place emerged buds, with
dozens of them sprouting from a single vine alone. Each bud doubled in size every second, until
they reached their apex -- and at that point, they split wide open. They split, and revealed their contents:
roses, and camellias, and wildflowers Lloyd couldn’t even begin to name, each
one ready and able to cuddle and blanket a grown man for a bout of sweet
dreams. The scent they left set Lloyd at
ease -- but the petals and sparkles now swirling about made his heart beat
fiercely. And somehow, he had a feeling
that Sheila and Deirdre felt the same.

“A new star has been
born,” said Lloyd.

--STAGE OUT--

Sheila let loose a
squeal, and if not for the chair binding her, she might have jumped right into
the ceiling. But she’d have to make do
with just crashing against the ground.

“I think I did it,”
said Lloyd, though with no shortage of effort.
Coming back to the real world meant coming back to a body that could
have used a trip to the hospital. He
didn’t know if it was the post-metaphysical lag or the fact that he’d endured
enough torture to break a hardened criminal, but he needed a moment to adjust.

“H-holy…!” He could
hear Trixie’s voice going off, and making her shock well-known. “Would ya look at her? She -- she’s
usin’ ‘em like a pair o’ airbags! How’s
that even possible?!”

“With a dozen pounds of
fat and gravity bein’ a bitch?” Mrs.
Overdose asked. “Well, who cares? You can gawk all you want later. The kid said he’s done, so I guess we’re done
here. Let’s help her up.”

“C-can’t ya do it on
yer own? I don’t wanna touch anythin’
I’m not supposed to.”

“Still?” Mrs. Overdose moved
in front of Lloyd and gave him a few “light” taps across the cheek. “Hey, kid.
Snap out of it. Are we done
here? You did all you needed to do,
right?”

Lloyd jerked out a nod,
and his grogginess started to subside.
“Yes. I think we’ve done just
about all we can do.”

“Heh heh. See that?
It’s like I’ve always said -- being busty has its advantages.”

Lloyd shook his head
rapidly -- maybe he was groggier than he thought. He could have sworn that for a moment, he’d
heard…

“Y-you call this an
advantage? This is so embarrassing! I’m just glad nobody’s around to see this;
I’d be an even bigger laughing stock than before!”

Lloyd leaned back in
his chair. “Miss O’Leary? Are you all right?”

“U-um…yeah, I think
so. I mean, I still feel kinda weird for
some reason, but I think I’ll be okay.
Just let me push myself up and -- o-oh, don’t look behind you just yet. I’m in kind of a bad posi-”

“No, no! You should definitely turn around now, sweet
cheeks! I bet a pose like this is bound to get you revved up! You know what I…oh my GOD! What is wrong with MY NOSE?! There’s all this crap coming out of it! And -- Jesus, how thick are these
glasses? It’s like I’m wearing a brick
wall on my face! And somebody get me out
of this chair!”

“Miss O’Leary…? Are you…er…feeling all right?”

Before he could get an
answer, Sheila -- fully untied, and with full control over her body once more
-- stepped before Lloyd. “I think we
might have a problem,” she said, pressing her fingers together.

“Problem?”

Sheila nodded clumsily
-- and then, she flung her glasses into the corner of the room. “There.
I look much sexier without
them,” said Deirdre. She whipped her
head back and forth, squinting so hard her eyes had nearly shut. “Now where’s that mirror? Sheila, I thought you had a mirror in here
somewhere!”