Tracy Idell Hamilton: the Wolff can — er, brand.

The Greater Chamber of Commerce hosted its State of the County luncheon Thursday, featuring County Judge Nelson Wolff, just four weeks after the North Chamber hosted the exact same event.

Wolff said pretty much the same thing this time around, which you can read here, but the Greater Chamber’s luncheon beat the North Chamber’s hands down for weirdness.

First of all, it was hosted on the floor of the AT&T Center, which Wolff & Co. would like to upgrade with venue — er, visitor tax money.

After Joe Krier, in what must be one of his last appearances, thanked all the sponsors and the VIPs and the Kinda-IPs, the arena darkened for a promotional video of the AT&T Center, which has, a booming voice told us, “something for everyone!”

Heartwarming shots of the Spurs winning championship #3 were interspersed with the rodeo, the Rampage, the Silver Stars and various musical acts. It’s a great venue, said the booming voice, “but much work needs to be done” and “much more is needed” to keep the arena “competitive.”

What that work might be was never specified, of course, because no one knows yet. The Spurs are feverishly reworking their wish list, after Commissioner Paul Elizondo put the kibosh on their first effort, a $164 million everything-but-the-kitchen-sink list.

Okay, so maybe the video wasn’t weird, just kind of over the top.

Weird for real, though, were the table centerpieces: cans of Wolf brand chili. Get it, get it? Then everyone got bowls of canned chili instead of a salad to start things off.

The riff continued as chairman Brenda Vickrey Johnson spoke of “the Wolff brand of leadership.”

And a la Chekhov’s gun, the storytelling device in which something strange shows up early and gets explained later, the theme came full circle after the judge’s speech: The arena darkened again, and down from the rafters dropped the Spurs Coyote, to give the Wolff a rubber chicken and …. da da da da! a branding iron with WOLFF on the end of it.