Purpose of the Task

May 25, 2016

The purpose of the task

Asking your kids to help in the kitchen sometimes feels like you’re asking someone to come into your home and throw cheerios on all over the place and be happy about it. “What? That’s so messy and takes so much longer.” You say to me. I won’t argue. You are totally right! it does take longer. It is messier. This is where remembering that the purpose of the task is to connect with your child.

Take Time to Connect

It’s also a time to connect, to make the experience about strengthening your relationship, talking about what happened today or about what will happen at school (if you’re making breakfast). Working side by side to create something together bonds you in fun and lasting ways. You get to be proud of what you made together or laugh at how badly it all turned out. In the everyday activities of life you get to write stories together. It doesn’t take an outing to the zoo or a big trip to Disney World to create stories that will be retold years from now.

Three times of day

Think about three times of day that you can begin thinking of as perfect opportunities to strengthen your relationships through your everyday tasks and activities. Choose one of them to begin practicing inviting the people you love to help you out.

A few ideas:

Helping get a bathroom ready for bath time

Feeding your family pet

Helping with breakfast by setting the table or cracking the eggs

Prepping for school by helping with the backpacks and shoes

Making their school lunch

Tearing up the lettuce for the dinner salad

Gathering the books from around the house

The Purpose of the Task

It may be a little difficult to change the way you approach the tasks, chores, and activities around your home. It’s totally worth it though! As your kids grown into teenagers it becomes even more awesome to get to chat with them as you work together if you’ve started the ritual or tradition of the purpose of the task being about the relationship you’re building more than about the chore you are doing.

What chore or task did you decide will be the one that you start making about relationship building?

Davina Fear is a Charlotte NC Family Photographer and Familyness Adventurer. She believes in bed time chats, bike rides down mountains, and in families who see that real life doesn’t have to be polished to be beautiful.

She blogs at davinafear.com, and creates photo documentaries for families who have days where everyday is simple and complicated. If you don’t want to miss this moment, get in touch by clicking here.

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2 Comments

This philosophy transforms my family life when I remember to do it (and allow myself to do it!) I’m so glad you developed this catchy phrase because I hear your voice often in my head telling me “The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship!”. THANK YOU. I need the reminder once again 🙂