Visitors On the Verge

Supporters of "OTV"

Google Ads

My Sistas: This is what we want

Your Black Man's Check List To LOVE

With all this talk about White women, Black women and Black men, I'm inspired to let my sistahs know what the really is when it comes to us Brothas. Just consider this a few pointers. It may not 100% applicable for all Black men, but it's pretty damn close.

Peep game:

LunchNo, you ain't gotta swing by the office and treat me to a sandwich or nathan... But even better, make it the night before and hook a brotha up with some home cooked shit. Feel me? Some Veggies. No sour cream
and drop it off the night before. You'd be the shit if you came by the office smelling and looking good. You know a lil' floss floss for me and the fellas to rap about once you leave. Trust me on this one. Hand delivered home cooked food by a fine ass Black woman goes a long way.

Bring a BeerNo. You ain't gotta drink a beer if you don't drink beer, but bring your man a beer if he likes beer--especially during the NBA play offs. I'm telling you, if you came through with a 6 pack of some decent beer or his favorite, you'd be the man Woman!

Picture Phone Freak Pics: Again trust me on this one. Put a little freak in the game for your man. Send that fool a nipple shot or something. Send it in the middle of the day too. Just let him know you're keeping it wet for him. In fact, use that subject header for your photo, "Keeping it wet" ain't nathan wrong with a lil tease in your man's life. We need this. We love this. And if we show our friends, so what. That's what we do. We share shit like that. Just don't incriminate yourself by capturing distinctive clothes or tattoos. Make it vague and clear. Again, trust me on this one.

Cook at his crib:Yes,
cook at his crib and package all the left-overs all nice so he can have
something to eat through out the week. This goes far. And if you can
really cook, you'll really get in our head with this one. I'm saying,
if you can cook a mean butter nut squash soup, every time we sip that
joint we will be thinking of you and how good your ass
you can cook. Plus, a brotha loves that aroma of some good cooking in
the house. It reminds of him of moms house and when we had no bills...

Drop It Off:Yeah I know how y'all get: Horny. And sometimes y'all just want some sex. So here's what you do: Just come through and drop it off aka "Give him some." Then just leave. Go home. But leave him a card to let him know that you dropped him some shit off.
In fact, leave him a card that says just that, "Tonight, I dropped some
loving off to you. Be good." Then sign your name. We need treats like
this. It keeps us satisfied.

Pay for Dinner:I'm
not saying do this all the time. In fact, I hope your man pays for
dinner 99.999999% of the time. But one time go out and when the bill
comes intercept it. And look him in the eyes and tell him, "I got it
baby. Please let me pay this time." And if he's like me, he'll resist.
But insist. You see, we pay for a gang of stuff just because it's our
role. But every now and then it's nice to know that we are appreciated
and reciprocated. Then take him home to your crib. Feel me? Just let
that Black man know that you appreciate him and you are there to lift
the weight off of his shoulders in any way you can when you can (I think my
dick is hard right now). Again, trust me on this. Do this once or
twice a month. No more. And make sure it's a surprise. We like this
type of shit.

Give that Man a Facial:Nowadays,
us Black men know how to give ourselves a cool cleanse, but it ain't
like y'allz "Girly facials." So hook us up one time. Cucumbers in
all. If your man is like me, he might resist. So insist and do it
once. If he likes it, he'll ask you do to it again. Trust me. We need
this shit in our lives.

Clean his house:I
know I'm on the verge of sounding real misogynistic right now. But if
you have access to your man's crib, clean it when he's out of town so
he can come home to a cleaner crib. This will also give you an
opportunity to look through his shit. I'm not a fan of that but I
thought it could give you some motivation. Again, if he likes the
surprise of this he'll ask you to do it whenever he leaves town. The
reward is that you get a key to his house. I feel like I'm giving you
too much game. The intentions are good though.

Burn him a CD:
Burn him some shit to ride to, to upload on his iTunes whatever. Just
give him your theme music. That's all I'm going to say. Again, trust
me.

By that man some Drawlz: Did
you know we keep underwear? In fact, I'm willing to bet that there are
a gang of brothas who have underwear older than 5 years old. So hook him
up. And guess what? Every time he puts those boxers on, he's thinking
of you. Again, trust me. We like that shit.

Overall, the above suggestions work in relationships that have
potential. And even if the relationship lacks in "potential" the
suggestions may help you out. If your man is dogging you, be careful!
The last thing you want him to do is use you for your goodness. Plus,
you don't want him to know the real freak that you are.

Comments

YAH, I'm first!

If you could only see my head right now, I feel like a bobblehead doll.

Whether or not what you said is positive or popular (and I think that it is both), hearing it from the horse's mouth is priceless. My name is not Cleo and I'm not a psychic, so I love hearing what mean want.

And, I think this is simple enough and speaks volumes.

As for the cooking, I think that's especially good because you want to make sure that she cooked it herself, and knows what she is doing.

I always love to hear what a man wants. Some of the things you suggested are not appropriate for the woman who is just dating, though. Nor is it appropriate for a non-married couple, IMO. I think #2, 6, 7, and 9, are great for dating. I think #1 & 4 should be saved for the monogamous relationship. I think #8, can’t be expected of all women. In this day and age some women just won’t/can’t/SHOULDN’T (you’d be better off if they didn’t) clean. #3, 5, and 10 are definitely a benefit of marriage/engagement/or life partner (for those that don’t believe in marriage). You shouldn’t be giving out freak pics to a man who may not be the one. If he’s not, then you can expect your pic to be plastered on every media forum when the shit hits the fan. “Dropping it off” is something that requires a lot of trust and stability, afterall the woman is completely giving of herself when she does something like this. Every man loves a little freak, but women need to protect themselves first and their innocence. When you find the right man you both will be a lot better off if you saved these activities for him alone. Buying a man draws, is like claiming your territory. If you’re not sure if you’d like to buy the property why start decorating it…LOL.

I respect your comments - But I think that he is inferring what men want in a relationship. I think, we as women, tend to make things more complicated.

I don't believe that if we were to put a list of things we want out of men, they would say "Well, no, I think this, that, and the other". They would be like "Is that what you want, Ok, cool".

If I want to learn how to cook, I'm going to ask Patti Labelle, Not Jessica Simpson. So, if I want to know what a man wants, I am going to ask a man, I'm not going to ask a woman who thinks she knows what a man wants.

Bottom line. This is not rocket science. I don't think many men (and again, I'm not trying to speak for them) would NOT co-sign
to this list.

To me, this is spelled out better to me than wheel of fortune.

PS: Who says women are innocent? That's a social construct designed to make the male the predator and the woman innocent of all charges. Want proof? Look at the sentences these female teacher predators get for having UNLAWFUL SEX with children. Do you think that would happen to a man.

Look at what happens when a woman kills her children (she's mentally ill) versus a man (domestic violence)

As a matter of fact, I think you have provided me with the idea for my next post, so I thank you for that.

@P - I think your response to me is totally uncalled for. If a man lets me know what he would like from me, then I think it is only fair for me to voice what I am willing to do, and how I feel about what he wants. This is an open forum, to open up dialogue and exchange ideas after all. Who are you to try and quiet me? I didn’t claim to know what a man wants, I simply stated what I, as a woman, am willing and not willing to do. Please don’t put words in my mouth. If I, as a woman, put a list out there of what I want, I would definitely like to hear how the men felt about it; what they thought was great, and what they thought was outlandish. How else will I grow? If we were all ‘yes men’, coming up in here nodding our heads, and agreeing with each other on every point then we would have no dimension. The goal should not be to think alike, but to act in our common interests.

I think your denial of women’s innocence and use of the current media coverage of a few depraved women to support that, demonizes all women. We are different (men and women), we have different roles in our current society, and we shouldn’t forget that.

What about us sistas with other slept-on traits? I'm saying, I can do a MEAN take-out order. Bring it home, serve it up all nice whiles I'm walking around in something totally unappropriate. (i.e., stilettos...and maybe a thong) Feel me?

And I can get (& pay) Maria to come dust up ya crib, (laundry AND windows) while I'm at the spa gettin' massaged & waxed & pampered 'n shit...so a sista can parlay that beer & a smile & drop off with no complaints.

I hear you both. However let us not forget that I provided these suggestions for Black relationships with "...POTENTIAL."
I don't suggest any of these for mere dating. You gotta be ready and wanting for the next level if you use ANY of these.

This my attempt to simplify the often forgotten lil' things we as Black men like/want/need etc...

Believe it or not, I see the many women who regularly comment on my site as sort of my cyber-women/girlfriends and right about now, y'all both owe me a beer (wink).

In all seriousness, I appreciate the open forum atmosphere you both have cultivated here. I employ you both to accept, listen or even reject your perpective opinions peacfully and come to balance on "The Verge" again in the future.

OMG!!!! Ok, I feel all behind...looks like a fight's bout to pop off and nobody told ME!

((LQQKIN around all shady like))

Ok, so what's REALLY goin on??? Mah nigga...D to the P to the M!!! This list is HOT!!! But you left off answering the door butt nekkid with a beer in her hand!

@ P: Why you tryin to get a brotha all sick n' shit with that sour cream??? HAHAHAHA!!! LMAO @ "If I want to learn how to cook, I'm going to ask Patti Labelle, Not Jessica Simpson. So, if I want to know what a man wants, I am going to ask a man, I'm not going to ask a woman who thinks she knows what a man wants." You's a COLD BITCH!! But that's why you're my dawg! That shit was C.L.A.S.S.I.C.

@ Emerging Phoenix: Ummm...sweetie...what is your issue with FOOD??? You mean to tell me that if you were seeing someone that you were kinda diggin (but not exclusively) that you wouldn't cook for him or bring him a home cooked meal?? 'The hell?? As much as I respect all people for having an opinion, there is nothing on this list that is unreasonable. He wasn't talkin about what's ACCEPTABLE (or not) to YOU...he's talking about what men want. Whether you agree with him or not is not even the point here. *sigh* Gimme a break...

@ Supa AND DPM: Did I mention that yall get on my nerves? HAHAHAHAHA! LMAO @ "You get them pictures I sent?" Hey...let me know how many wedding invitations you're gonna need! ((snickering)) HHAHAHAHA!

My sentiments exactly @ The Phoenix. Here's my two cents. #1, I'm mad cuz when I read that I got a damn visual of Supa sendin' DPM a pic of her right nipple even though I don't even know WTF they talmbout!! LOL! #2, it irks me when people go up in other folks' blogs and be tryin' to regulate, or poppin' off at the fingertips 'bout how the BLOG AUTHOR got HIS perspective twisted, especially on something he is immeasurably more qualified to speak on than the person trying to rebut. *DAP* at Pattypolis for pointing out how nonsensical that mess is. LOL

Y'all are rithickulous, resorting to group intimidation. If you don’t agree with what I have to say, then please disregard it, but don’t think for one second that I am going to pipe down b/c y’all roll in groups. And that's really all I'm gonna say on that.

@DPM – I feel you on the home cooked meal thing. Carry out is just not the same.

@Tam - I don't have a problem with home cooked food, and I would/have do/done it for friends, family, etc. It’s more about being at their place than the cooking the food part. This was before DPM said he thought these things were for the serious couple. For dating, I wouldn’t go to the house of a guy I just met.

LMAO! Shoot, I'm just on the outside lookin' in, trying to put two and two together...
DPM: Send that fool a nipple shot or something. Send it in the middle of the day too.
SS: You get them pictures I sent?
DPM: And yeah, I got the pic. Thanks. BTW, you sent me a shot of the right one.