Short Timers

EUGENE, SIR: How do I last longer? – Probal

Dear Probably: At this point if I recommend, as I have the half a dozen times previously when I’ve answered this question, gently tugging the scrotum (your OWN, it should be noted, especially if you’re in a group scenario) when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm. You won’t typically orgasm until the testicles are in the loaded position so a reset sometimes slows things down. But it now dawns on me this is/should be an emergency measure. A, perhaps, lasting measure, all puns intended, really begins with you doing your kegel exercises. Kegels hit the muscles you use when you stop, or try to, the flow of urine. Squeeze the muscles and hold for as long as you can, relax, repeat. In the long run this will pay longer lasting dividends. If you know what I mean.

Foreplay On, Player

EUGENE, SIR: Why are men not more into foreplay? Do not confuse this with one of those “I want to cuddle more” questions, but when my vagina is dry at the moment that you find your penis hard, that means you still have work to do. Since this work ends with sex, why don’t more men make the connection? — Women

Dear You’re Every Woman: You know I feel your pain. I once had a woman take her clothes off and stare down at my still flaccid penis and exclaim, “Well?!?!” Like the mere sight of her nude, arms akimbo and demanding an erection was going to be enough to actually give me an erection. If I had been 18, yes, perhaps. But I was not 18, and I’m guessing 18 or not, your problem remains. However, let me explain that it’s not just cloddishness that creates the unfortunate circumstance of men believing that the party begins when their party favor is erect and therefore ready to go — it’s more an issue of so much is riding on that very moment, that all hands are on deck, so to speak.

Or to paraphrase Tony Montana, “It’s hard to be a man-g.”

After all of whatever he had to do to get there, up to and including cleaning his shirt, showering and being entertaining enough to get you naked, there’s that whole erection panic, backed with early ejaculation panic, settled around being discovered by the wife-girlfriend-boyfriend-stray-dog panic that sets in — and, well, he’s got a lot on his mind. So for the first time, when these jitters are most intense? I’d counsel a little patience. However, if you’re well into your relationship? You might remind him if he needs reminding that the vagina is unlikely to run away before he can say hello to it, and maybe he should relax a little and let it play out like he actually enjoys it being played out.

I say this, but I HAVE been quoted as saying in answer to the question, “Eugene? What’s foreplay?” this very thing: “Foreplay? That’s me driving over here.” So what do I know?