Merrymakers: World’s Foremost Authority on Disneyland

This is a very special Merrymakers featuring one of the world’s foremost experts on Disneyland: my five-year-old niece, Jadyn. Last month Jadyn’s parents surprised her with a trip to the Magic Kingdom. I tagged along because I love waiting in really long lines.

Me and the Expert

Everybody’s Invited!: How did your parents tell you that you were going to Disneyland?

Jadyn: When I woke up at six o’clock, my dad told me.

Jadyn’s mom [in background]: Hey!

J: Okay, okay, both of them told me.

EI!: Did you believe them?

J: No, I said, “Mom, why are you teasing me?”

EI!: Were you excited?

J: Yeah, except I was tired and yawning for the first day. But when I got used to the day, I was sooooooo silly.

EI!: Yeah, I remember. What did you do on the plane?

J: I watched Snow White and Spy Kids, and a little bit of more Snow White again.

EI!: What was your favorite ride?

J: Star Tours. Because I like Star Wars.

EI!: What was your least favorite ride?

J: Splash Mountain.

EI!: Why didn’t you like it?

J: Not at all.

EI!: No, why didn’t you like it?

J: Because stop talking about it.

EI!: Should we not have let you go on that ride?

J: Yes. Stop talking about it.

EI!: Okay, what was the best food you had at Disneyland?

J: Sugar.

EI!: In any particular form?

J: The cake in the treasure chest.

EI!: Who did you meet at Disneyland?

J: Sleeping Beauty. Jasmine. Belle. I even saw Ariel out of the water.

EI!: You did? How was she even breathing?!?

J: She’s a human, silly.

EI!: Oh right. What would you say to another kid who was going to go to Disneyland soon?

J: I would tell them, “Hey, I know what you can do. You can go on the same rides as me, Aidan.” I think Aidan should be the other kid.

EI!: What should other parents say when they want to surprise their kids with a trip to Disneyland?

J: “Hey, you’re going to Disneyland!”

EI!: [kicks self for asking such a dumb question] Do you think your parents are the best parents in the world for taking you to Disneyland?

J: Yes. [During this part of the interview, the interviewee starts laughing uncontrollably, and the whole thing sort of deteriorates.]

J: Hey, Auntie Hannah, do you have everything you need in your apartment? Do you have a washer and dryer, and a refrigerator, and food?

EI!: Yes, I do, thanks for asking. Would you go to Disneyland again?

J: Yes, I would go every single day. But next time I would swim in Splash Mountain and eat a shark.