Had a Full emotional melt down yesterday

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Registered User

Long story but here is the highlights. After 3 years of me taking abuse mum end up in hospital then care. She settled and was healthy and happy until she started falling a lot over the New Year. She hurt her back and we ended up in A&E. No breaks but chest infection and confusion and a lot of pain. She is now still very confused, very aggressive with staff and violent on one occasion. Back to her old self!

When I went to see her last night she was totally confused, wet the bed for first time, and crying and saying she wanted to die. Crying out "take me home with you". I had to leave the room and then lost it. I cried and sobbed all over a carer for about 20 minutes.

I have it so easy compared to so many of you I actually feel ashamed of myself. This is the hardest thing in the world. The last time this happened to me was when my dad was dying in The Beatson and Glasgow. Im not a crier.

To all of you out there struggling with this terrible disease I salute you. Lets hope they find a cure for this before its our turn.

Love to all. I feel better just telling someone. I feel as if I have been wrung out.
XX
Quilty

Volunteer Host

Between looking after your mum for 3 years and your dad dying of cancer I can't see where you have had it easy Quilty, just the opposite. We all feel like crying sometimes. OH sometimes asks me to take her home and we are at home. When she was having a fit in the back of an ambulance outside A&E, I ( a scottish bloke) had a wee cry.

Wish there was something else to help you in your hour of need, but just get it off your chest and hopefully you will find some comfort here.

Registered User

It's never easy to see someone you love so distressed and in pain Quilty, and often it's just a build up of anxiety and sadness over a long time that tips us over the edge.
I hope your mum settles down again once she is feeling better and the back pain is controlled.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Registered User

So sorry Quilty. I know just how you feel. As a result of overdoing it, combined with the stress of Mum's hallucinations/moods/lies I am now too poorly to do any caring. One look at my poor Mum crying in pain because of her back and I berate myself for not doing my usual clear up/sort out visits. How can I be so cruel to leave a little old lady like that. Sometimes we have to look after ourselves or our parents won't be able to rely on us at all. January weather hasn't helped, if the sun shone we might feel a little better. Take care of yourself. x

Registered User

Between looking after your mum for 3 years and your dad dying of cancer I can't see where you have had it easy Quilty, just the opposite. We all feel like crying sometimes. OH sometimes asks me to take her home and we are at home. When she was having a fit in the back of an ambulance outside A&E, I ( a scottish bloke) had a wee cry.

Wish there was something else to help you in your hour of need, but just get it off your chest and hopefully you will find some comfort here.

Scottish blokes are used to crying everytime Scotland play anyone! Its part of our National psyche now.
Hope things are going ok for you, and yes, just telling someone who actually understands is very helpful. Thanks xx Quilty

Registered User

So sorry Quilty. I know just how you feel. As a result of overdoing it, combined with the stress of Mum's hallucinations/moods/lies I am now too poorly to do any caring. One look at my poor Mum crying in pain because of her back and I berate myself for not doing my usual clear up/sort out visits. How can I be so cruel to leave a little old lady like that. Sometimes we have to look after ourselves or our parents won't be able to rely on us at all. January weather hasn't helped, if the sun shone we might feel a little better. Take care of yourself. x

Volunteer Host

Scottish blokes are used to crying everytime Scotland play anyone! Its part of our National psyche now.
Hope things are going ok for you, and yes, just telling someone who actually understands is very helpful. Thanks xx Quilty

Registered User

I used to just cry on my own, until people (professionals) actually started asking me how I was and saying how hard it must be, I wept buckets the first time someone said that. I think I've cried more in the last few years than in my whole life. As they say (in the song) Let It Go. Hugs to you xxxx

Registered User

Quilty it's ok to cry each of us on here have been touched by this awful.disease in different ways and I am sure all of us have cried with despair it's so hard to watch our loved ones suffering so cry as much as you want my love.
Hope your mum gets help with her pain xxxxx

Registered User

Sending you a hug - as lots of others have said (and thought if they haven't actually said) caring is hard, terribly hard sometimes.
I'm not a crier either but tears do well up when a kind person gives me a few kind words when they can see I'm struggling a bit with mum. Silly me though - instead of smiling and saying "thank you" I mumble something, go red, shake my head and tears well-up - bonkers isn't it?

Registered User

Sending you a hug - as lots of others have said (and thought if they haven't actually said) caring is hard, terribly hard sometimes.
I'm not a crier either but tears do well up when a kind person gives me a few kind words when they can see I'm struggling a bit with mum. Silly me though - instead of smiling and saying "thank you" I mumble something, go red, shake my head and tears well-up - bonkers isn't it?

I had a full sobbing snot fest. Your right about someone giving kind words. We struggle alone and the you meet someone who actually understands. It knocks you for six. I remember crying the first time I called the Alzheimers helpline, at my wits end. The kind lady on the phone totally understood, probably from bitter experience and pointed me here.