Tag Archives: Parenting

Sometimes when we make mistakes or poor choices we can lose sight of our self worth. We can also let the opinions of others cause us to look down on our own selves and we forget that we too are still somebody. No matter where you are in life right now, please remember that you still have SELF WORTH! Things may seem a little blurry right now and you may feel down but you still have SELF WORTH!

Don’t allow people to put you down just because you are a teen mom. The statics are not who you are. You can rise above it and prove just how much worth you still have. Our decisions are a part of us but they do not define the very essence of who we are. You are going to have to be very selective of the type people that you choose to hang around. Their influence in your life and that of your child will be crucial. They will either encourage you to achieve greater or they will continue to tell you what you can’t do. Be careful who you allow in your inner circle. It’s no longer just you but you have another human being depending on you as well. The choices you make will also lead them. Our children often imitate us on various levels if we play close attention to them.

You must believe in yourself even if no one else will do it. You must encourage yourself even if no one else knows the importance of it. You cannot depend on people to validate your self worth. You must know that on your own first and then others will notice it. How you treat yourself is the standard for everyone else including your child. You are still a jewel in God’s eye sight! You still matter! You are still worth it!

1. How old were you when you got pregnant and what was it like when you told your parents? When I got pregnant I was 15 years old. My dad has never been in my life so I still haven’t officially “told him”, he knows from my family. I was terrified to tell my mom so I went to my school counselor first. She told me to try and tell my mom or we could call her into the school and tell her together. I decided that I would tell her myself so she didn’t think that I thought I couldn’t talk to her. She was very angry at me, but she was very supportive and told me she was going to be there for me and my precious baby.

2. What kind of obstacles did you face as a teen mom and what did you do to overcome them? Being a single teen mom I had to get a job, a car, and grow up since I was on my own. I was a huge partyer before I got pregnant and all of my friends no longer speak to me since they were partying all the time. This was hard on me because they said they would always be there for me. My mom has many illnesses and is always in and out of the hospital. I am home alone with my son and taking care of my little brother, working, breastfeeding, and had to graduate high school.

3. What kind of education (HS Diploma, Some College, Bachelors, or Masters) and career do you have now? As of right now I work hard and plan to graduate high school in December. I only have 4 classes a day because I took so many extra ones my junior year. I plan to attend our local community college in the fall so I can stay close to my family and keep my job.

4. What advice do you have for current teen moms? I want to tell teen mothers to always try your hardest. My journey has been extremely hard but it has made me into the person that I am today. Don’t drop out of high school because it is possible, hard but possible.

5. What’s your definition of success? My definition of success is having love and support near you and doing what you want to do. You don’t have to have designer clothes or the best of everything, just as long as you can find happiness in your life.

Like this:

As they see me walking
With my son in my arms
They glare, insult, and fail to see the whole picture
They don’t see the dedication I have
Towards raising my boy
And making sure he knows, just how much he’s loved
And they don’t see the sacrifices I have made
To be the best mother I can
And make a good life for us
They aren’t there for every scraped knee
Every tear shed
Or anytime my son needs a hug….. I am
They don’t see how much I care
That I’m doing things right
They don’t see the unconditional LOVE
I have inside
For my son and the person he has made me
They don’t see how parties and a weekend out
Have turned into trips to the park
Baby feet kisses
And bedtime stories
They don’t see how school dances and the carefree days of my youth
Have turned into watching cartoons on a cloudy day
And knowing the constant worry that being a mother brings
They don’t see the quiet times
The cuddly times
Early in the morning
When I sing ‘good morning to you’ softly in his ear
They don’t know how
I see the world
Through a mother’s eyes
Every day I see something new
Something I was unaware of before
They don’t see how
My son coming into my life
Has changed me into a better person
A happier person
Happier than I’ve ever been
Its sad…..they fail to see the whole picture
Still, I am ridiculed and judge
Why?
Because I’m a teen mother
Its sad…..they fail to see me

Like this:

Safety First

Your baby’s safety is your top priority.

Teenage mothers must think of their babies with almost every choice they make. The baby’s health and safety must be her top priority, and the list of precautions is long. Leaving the baby with an acquaintance whom she knows only casually is unacceptable—only long-time friends and family who have proved themselves to be reliable and safe should be trusted to babysit. Teenage mothers must not smoke or use drugs or alcohol around the baby—the effects could be deadly. She should bring her baby to all physical check-ups and follow her doctor’s advice.

Coping

Mothering can be stressful—call a friend or a parenting hotline.

Parenting isn’t always fun. Sometimes children cry and act in ways we don’t like. Teenage moms must learn skills for coping with the frustration that these moments bring. Taking a deep breath and counting to 10, taking the baby or child for a walk in the stroller, turning on soothing music or calling a trusted friend or a parenting hotline are all acceptable ways of dealing with a child whose behavior pushes us to the limit. Hitting, shaking or otherwise abusing a child is never okay.

Choices

Teach children to make good choices.

Teen mothers can teach toddlers and preschool-age children to make choices—it empowers young children to discover the consequences of their actions, and it minimizes power struggles between mother and child. For example, when a small child shows signs of throwing a tantrum in a store or public place, give the child a choice: stop fussing and visit a favorite part of the store or stop at the park to play on the way home, or continue the bad behavior and take a time-out in the store or go straight home for a nap. Mothers must be willing to modify their plans to take care of a tired or fussy child and take advantage of these teachable moments.

Together Time

Use eye contact to strengthen the bond with your child.

A teen mother must make time for one-to-one bonding with her baby or child. These activities should be nurturing and interactive. Read a story to your child and discuss the pictures on the pages, play patty-cake while looking into the baby’s eyes, stack blocks together, sit in the sandbox and talk and dig together, make hand prints with paint on paper, or cook together. Passive activities—watching television together or talking on the phone while your child sits beside you doing something else—do not strengthen the mother-child connection.

Alone Time

Every mother needs at least a few minutes alone each day.

Every mother needs time alone—even if it’s just a few minutes each day. This can be difficult for the mother of a newborn, but alone time is important for a mom’s emotional and psychological well-being. Take at least 10 to 30 minutes for a regenerating activity—meditate, pray, walk, stretch, take a bath—while your child is napping, in daycare or with a trusted babysitter.

Like this:

This week we will discuss the importance of mentors in your life. If you are just joining us, please go back to the beginning of this series dated September 3, 2013. It will bless you richly.

What are mentors? They are people in our lives that can lead us in the right direction. They offer encouragement when we need it. They offer discipline when we need it. They remind us that we have choices to make and encourage us to dream big. They can assist us in reaching our goals or point us to someone who can help us. They are vital to our success in life. We can not be successful all by ourselves. There are people who have been where we are and can give us great wisdom so that we don’t make the same mistakes they made.

As teen mothers it is imperative that you hook up with an older mother if not your mother who can really teach you how to be a mother. You can not shut yourself off from the world and decide to go at this alone. You need help and you need help now! Don’t waste another minute. You need that guidance and support. Being a mother is not easy and its even harder when you are a teen mom mainly because you are still trying to figure out who you are along with finishing school if you haven’t already done so. That extra push will benefit you more than you will ever realize.

Father, show me who my mentors are and help me to listen to them as they try to help me along my journey. In Jesus name, amen!

If you are just following this series of posts on the Power of Relationships, then you may want to go back and read the previous posts starting at September 3. This is a short journey on discovering the power of our many relationships and the different types we may have. We have already went over what are acquaintances and now we are on friends.

A friend is someone you know, like and trusts. A friend is someone who is dependable and a confidant. A friend is someone who will not betray you no matter what the situation may encounter. Now being a teen mom you may have some friends who no longer talk to you. That can be because their parents now see you as a bad influence and have forbidden their child to talk to you. Please don’t take it personal. It’s just parents thinking they are doing what is best for their child. Concentrate on the friends that you do have and let them support you through this life transition. You are also going to need actual mothers who can help you with advice on raising your child and being a good mother.

Your friends should never degrade you no matter how bad you mess up. Friends don’t humiliate one another. Friends don’t set each other up for failure. Friends don’t seek revenge. Friends don’t back stab one another. Friends don’t lie to each other. Friends don’t use each other for personal gain. Friends don’t continually point out faults without trying to help you better yourself. Friends add value to our lives. Being a good friend is hard work but it’s worth it in the end. People will be jealous of your relationship and try to ruin it. You cannot allow lies and deceit to break up your friendships. Real friends support one another through the good and the bad. Real friends don’t pass judgment. There are a lot more adjectives that describe real friends but I hope you get the picture now and can make an intelligent decision on who are your acquaintances and who are your friends. It’s vital to your emotional stability to learn this early on in life.

Check your inner circle and see who are your real friends. Cherish them and treat them well. Friends are like diamonds. Hard to find and priceless. There are many imitations but only the true ones can shine brightly.