Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with good support.

After an exceptionally involved day, I sometimes search the archives to find something I think is worthy of republishing. Tonight's excerpt comes from December 2012, somewhere near the beginning of my relapse/regain period. This excerpt reveals a lot of struggle and also some of the perspectives and practices that eventually led to the turnaround from relapse/regain.

From December 2012:

Pausing to reflect is important. Indeed, it is. But only when the reflection is focused on the lessons learned in our struggles, the victories earned in our triumphs and the choices needed to move forward in a positive way.Pausing to reflect can be devastating if we're squarely focused on the negative consequences of our choices and actions. It's like constantly analyzing where and why we swerved off the road. If you're driving along and you skid off a slippery highway, finding yourself in a ditch, you might pause to thank God you survived. You probably would spend a minimal amount of time thinking about what happened leading up to and creating the loss of control. But then your main focus turns to what it must be in those moments: "How do we get out of this ditch?"When flashes of what to do now are clouded by constantly analyzing what went wrong, feeling bad about what happened and obsessing about how it could have been different, we become stuck. Truly stuck. Paralyzed by our thoughts, we sit and stew inside as the windows become covered until we can't see the road. Soon, disoriented, we lose our sense of direction. We know we can't give up, because staying here will eventually kill us if we don't act. Our basic instincts of survival demand we act and act now, if we hope to ever get out of here, we must act. That's where I've been. In that vehicle. I'm not alone. I have my hopes and dreams with me. I have the best of intentions with me too. I have family and friends who reach out and offer support and they believe in me 100%; they always have. If I were more clear with them, revealing my location, they would find me and once again their support would be fully received as it once was in the best of times. Instead, I sit here, feeling the sting of the cold as thoughts of my chosen consequences pierce me in every way I allow.I occasionally receive messages from people far and near who have read my blog, my book and facebook mini-blogs and they send some of the most incredibly positive stories about how my journey has affected them. They're on the road, hands on the wheel and thanking me for inspiration they've gleaned from my experience. Perhaps they haven't heard of my current dilemma. Maybe they have and they're hoping it motivates me to act and act now. I often find myself in tears while reading these, filled with happiness for them first, then reminding myself that this is all I want to do with my life; to be a positive light for others; to serve as an honest example of what's truly possible. Then, I become overwhelmed with guilt, withdrawing into myself, hiding from the truths I must embrace to get me out of here.This isn't a pity party. This isn't a cry for sympathy. This is the truth of where I am and it's a place I've kept myself by choice. No, not the best choice(s), obviously, but it's my doing. I'm responsible for me.I have little sympathy or compassion when I read about a blue-chip athlete who has it all going for him, yet self-destructs before he realizes his ultimate goals and dreams. Or when they achieve incredible heights, only to fall quickly by way of their own horrible choices. Yet, I find myself in a similar place.If I'm not willing to give someone else sympathy and compassion in this situation, imagine what I'm doing to myself. I must have compassion for myself, self-forgiveness and an eye for the clearer road ahead. I have serious choices to make. Good choices. I have the tools readily available to emerge from this death trap and get back on the road to safety and positive leadership. Oklahoma's own Vince Gill once sang "There's no future in the past," and oh my, how true that rings. I can't go back in time and prevent what has happened, so why constantly obsess over the elements involved? I can move forward in a positive way, one choice at a time. And when I'm in similar positions someday, I'll appreciate the experience I've gained, giving me the strength and insights to be okay.Someone I truly care about recently told me to just "be okay." And it sent me in search of what that means. It sounds so simple. "No really. Just. be. okay." I want to be okay.I think it means to appreciate the positive blessings, let go of the negatives and move forward in peace. I think it means for me to have compassion for myself and others as I navigate the future in this direction, instead of wallowing in the maze of my past. I think it means to stop trying to figure out how to undo what's already done, like it never happened--and make positive steps toward a future where the same mistakes are not repeated. Just be okay. That's where I am. I'm working on being okay. I'm reaching for the door handle leading out of this place. The sun shines on the other side of this door. Why would I choose to stay in the darkness? There's fresh air out there, there's love, there's peace, there are family and friends...there's hope and promise.I've deflected every inquiry from family and friends about what I want for Christmas. I simply want peace. I simply want to be okay. And this Christmas wish isn't something anyone else can give me.I'm here. I'm choosing to release myself from the imprisoning thoughts of yesterday. I'm choosing to live today.I wish you the best Christmas wish I can, that you find peace, love and most of all, you find yourself being okay.----
Okay-- back to present day!

I filled with gratitude to be here, tonight--sharing another day on this blog.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with great support.

I really enjoyed my food plan today. I don't get too complicated in the kitchen--I keep it simple. Restaurant onion rings are NOT on my plan. However-- if I know the ingredients and I personally prepare them, including weighing and measuring all ingredients used--then let there be rings!

My oven baked onion rings tonight--I must say, I'm proud of 'em! Very simple to prepare and less than half the calories of regular onion rings! If you want to see them, scroll down to the dinner tweet below--the tweet description describes their preparation. Bake at 425 for 10-12 minutes each side--or longer depending on your preferred crispness.

Keeping it short tonight--but I wanted to at least share a video about tomorrow night...and about the space we have for you on our accountability and support team!

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a brand new 8-week session in the accountability and support groups I cofacilitate with Coach Kathleen and Jordan. All three of us started at over five hundred pounds. Kathleen and Jordan both started as members a long time ago.

We mentor/coach from a place of experience. All three of us work our individual plans each day--and that's very important. We're all on the same team, facilitators and members working together toward a common cause.

None of us are perfect, we're just doing our best to practice our plan each day.

If you've had the slightest tug to join our group, I encourage you to make that decision now. I believe you'll discover what many have discovered over the years. This is different.

A different perspective, a new approach, and consequently, different results!

It's not too late for you to join us. These groups and this amazing team of individuals is something on my daily gratitude list. I'm incredibly grateful for a long list of reasons. If you're ready to give this team a shot-- text your questions to me and I'll get back to you quickly. Text: 580-491-2228

Today was an exceptional day. We had a baby shower for Amber! Raegan will be Amber and KL's first child. Part of my duties at the shower was that of cake cutter. That might surprise you considering I don't eat refined sugar, but it was fine. The biggest challenge for me was getting icing on my fingers and NOT licking my fingers! I didn't--but I'll tell you, it's one of those automatic hard-wired responses--and it's not so much about eating the icing as it is cleaning your fingers! I used napkins and then washed my hands. But yeah--that was interesting! I've always been the cake cutter of the family and that tradition continues. Not always, butI'm usually the turkey carver too. :)

One of the things I make important, well--usually I do, is being prepared. Good planning and preparing helps keep my food plan stable. Today, I left the house forgetting some items I planned to bring for lunch! The menu was party food--deli tray sandwiches and additional meats and cheeses, among a few other things. My plan to bring apple slices and a pita to use as a sandwich type thing was left on the counter. I improvised well and made it through okay.

Years ago I would have thrown out the plan and said "what the heck," but I don't--because my personal maintenance mode food plan is too important to me.Why would I sacrifice something that brings so much good to me, simply because I wasn't prepared? Instead of creating and stopping at imagined roadblocks, I must recalculate my route. The goal destination will always be hitting the pillow at night with the integrity of the plan intact. The difficulty in reaching that goal each day is made easier or more difficult depending on my level of planning, preparing, and my willingness or unwillingness to embrace accountability and support measures.

Mom was exhausted when I took her back to her room. She fell asleep before we made it back!

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Mom continues to make good progress in her recovery. This picture was tonight at her room. We enjoyed dinner together and a nice visit. She was feeling good enough to take a picture! That's a great sign!

I enjoyed answering questions today about the next 8-week accountability and support group I cofacilitate with Coach Kathleen Miles and Jordan Burgess. We start the new session on Monday evening! If you're ready to join us--we would love to have you on our team! Please text your questions to me directly: 580-491-2228

Friday, January 26, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

This isn't a current photo of mom and me--it's a couple years old, but I like it--and mom's been on my mind a lot lately. Last night was alarming--but today and tonight were about five times better! It's a roller coaster of ups and downs mom is struggling with at the moment. The nurses changed her oxygen concentrator and dramatically increased the number of breathing treatments last night and all day today. Her oxygen levels are back up where they need to be--and almost magically, she's looking, sounding, and feeling better. It makes sense, but doesn't make it any less scary for mom or alarming to me when her lungs are full of fluid and she's not absorbing oxygen properly.

I made sure to take extraordinary care with my food plan today. I also made increased support contacts. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, even less than usual--and this day refused to stop. I didn't get home until after 6pm. When I'm exceptionally tired, I'm putting myself in a vulnerable position. Having that awareness helps--but still, the steps to engage with support a little more than a typical day, is most important on a day when I'm bushed.

We're fast approaching the next session of A Better Weigh Weight Loss Accountability and Support Groups. The 8-week session starts again Monday and Tuesday. If you need some questions answered about the groups feel free to text me: 580-491-2228.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Some of the most important things I've experienced along this road are not necessarily specific things, rather, it's how things naturally fluctuate and many things simply pass. It's the nature of things. A difficult day yesterday often clears enough for a better day the next. There was a time when everything to me was either great or horrible with little room for middle ground. This all or nothing mentality ended countless attempts to develop a sustainable plan in harmony with my weight loss goals. When the natural rhythm of life is appreciated and better understood, suddenly the difficult days no longer turn into barriers from continued positive progress. With this new practice in perspective, the difficult days become opportunities for growth. I believe we have an equal opportunity to learn from the harder days and the better days.

Today was a better day for me. It was involved, of course--but with a clearer path.

I ended my night visiting with mom. She's getting excellent care right where she is and it's nice to understand and trust the experts handling her care.

The next session of the weight loss accountability and support group I co-facilitate with Coach Kathleen and Jordan starts Monday, January 29th. If you're interested in discovering the life-changing power of a team working together, join us! Email me now for more information: transformation.road@gmail.com or betterweigh@outlook.com Or, if you prefer--text your questions directly to me: 580-491-2228

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with great support.

It's been a long day. Stressful too, in many ways. As a first-class emotional/stress eater, it takes intentional actions to not go the way of the food. I stay connected more, I pause more, I plan and prepare more--and I do because if I'm not "in it" than I'm "out of it," and I love being "in it" too much.

I had a late visit with mom tonight. She's feeling some better and her spirits are much better tonight since she got her hair done today. It looks great! And she feels better when the hair is better. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her how beautiful she is with or without her hair fixed, it's what she believes that matters. She's battling a persistent bronchitis type cough. And she's still being treated for infection and various side effects of medicines, but all things considered, she's doing better. Except her blasted phone--the ringer isn't working!! I fiddled with it for awhile tonight and I'm convinced it's broken somehow, someway.

The next session of the weight loss accountability & support group I co-facilitate with Life Coach Kathleen and Jordan Burgess is set to start in less than a week!! I made a video earlier this evening all about this next session:

Monday, January 22, 2018

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with wonderful support.

I mentioned the other night about how I used to stay up late watching Richard Simmons infomercials for inspiration. I always found it with anything Richard did, because he was so real and so compassionate. When he looked at and spoke directly to the camera it was as if he was speaking directly to me--like he knew me so well.

Richard always featured real people too, like my friend and co-facilitator of A Better Weigh Weight Loss Accountability and Support Groups, Coach Kathleen Miles. Kathleen worked closely with Richard, from infomercial appearances to QVC, and talk shows.

What I didn't know all those years ago was, someday--years later, Kathleen, whom I certainly watched numerous times with Richard, would someday, many years later--join my group as a member. Kathleen had remarkable progress as a member of this group and now, she continues her personal progress and daily practice right along with the rest of us as a trained and certified Life Coach.

You see, that's part of what makes this group work so well because each of us works our personal plan. I do, Kathleen does, so does Jordan--all of us are "in the same lifeboat!" We mentor and coach from a place of experience. We can help you define the "You Plan" that works for you--and as a support team, you're getting our best each and every day.

Kathleen produced a wonderful video today describing the group and explaining how it works. I'd love for you to give it a watch and listen.

Our next session starts January 29th and 30th. Are you ready for something different? Are you willing to try a different approach and perspective? Kathleen, Jordan, and I would love to have you on our team!

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What's This All About?

"What's this all about? It's about progress, not perfection. It's about how you feel, not a number. It's about you and for you, not about or for anyone else. It's about living, not dying. It's about dreaming, not dreading. It's about freedom, not imprisonment. It's about opening your mind to the possibilities, not closing it to the changes. It's about acceptance, not rejection. It's about nourishing, not depriving. It's about a broadly consistent importance level, not short bursts of narrow focus. It's about wanting, not forcing. It's about doing your best, not trying to do another's best. It's about today, not tomorrow, or next week or the first of the month or January 1st. It's about committing to consistency with all your heart and holding on tight, not a halfhearted commitment easily released with the slightest breeze. It's about you deserving better, because you do. It's about you being important, because you are important." --Sean Anderson

The start. 505 pounds.

Before--Over 500 pounds

Before & Now

Before: Over 500lbs "After" photo: Around 220-230. Current weight: Between 206-210

About Sean Anderson

This blog started as a daily account of what became a 275 pound weight loss. The archives contain over 1,700 individual blog posts. Sean hit his goal weight of 230 in November 2010 and maintained for 1.5 years. Then spent the following 1.5 years regaining 164 pounds. The daily postings from April 2014 to present, chronicle Sean's successful turnaround from relapse/regain. Currently weighing around 204 and maintaining well, Sean continues to write daily about the practices and disciplines of his continued recovery.