Day 232 - Work Ethic: Unplugged

How hard I work is a relative perception. As I began to see yesterday, I have been overestimating my work ethic for some time now. I have been working a sales/marketing job for the past 4 days, 8 hours a day, and it's pretty hardcore relative to having no job. What I've realized is how much work I am able to accomplish when I am really working. So far, the best part of this job was seeing this factor. Seeing exactly how valuable an hour of time is.

It's not a completely foreign concept and I've done some writing about this is the past, but the relative perceptual factor I hadn't really been aware of. When my environment is fast paced, I feel charged and motivated to do more work, and this is the climate of the work culture that is implemented through various "stay positive" techniques. Even when I was in school I was motivated with regard to seeing how much everyone around me was doing everyday.

So my question is: How do I determine my work ethic without relating to anyone around me? Why haven't I already figured this out?? I've taken for granted my external circumstances for a long time, to the point that I didn't ever realize the internal-external point of separation for the source of my motivation. This is interesting.

When I come back to this first question, the obvious answer is self-honesty, FYI. I can only determine how hard I work relative to how hard I can work within being honest with myself. What I've done over time is lose sight of how hard I can be working through a repetitive and varying dishonesty within self (a.k.a. excuse). And there is shame here. Will this shame be my internal source of motivation? It's better than no internal motivation. And quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of all the external motives that have pushed and pulled me everywhere throughout my life.

My internal sense of motivation needs an overhaul. And this is my journey. To examine my self-interested motives, find which are abusive to Life, which are supportive, stable, practical; and within this examination, I must rebuild my internal motivation so that it aligns with what is best for all.

This latter part has been my hang up because of the resistance code. I've coded myself to react to giant undertakings such would be rebuilding my motivation structure. The typical reaction is to become overwhelmed. I have used this excuse to do nothing countless times.

Boom. Key point found. If I am going to be stable within my work ethic, I can no longer be self-dishonest. I can no longer allow internal excuses and fluctuation external environments to determine my work ethic. It's time to take back control of me. Join me tomorrow for some practical self-forgiveness and corrective application.