First on that review: You’ll get that this weekend when I have more than a day between shifts to get my head together [my brain is clay]. Alas, at “ye olde place” I got a bit spoiled because a lot of the reviews and such-n-such, especially with the comics, could be done and posted from work. But there are display and security issues at “the new place” which prevents this… which is why I’m having trouble posting regularly for the present. And the few hours between bed and leaving for work doesn’t leave much time for my foggy brain to lurch back into gear… it’s not optimal for analyzing our reviewed material so I keep pushing it off.

I’m clearly going to have to live to be 200 to get the Buffyverse entirely reviewed. Which means you all get to live until 200 to read my insightful blatherings… isn’t that nice?

But today, my friends-who-I-don’t-actually-know, we’re going to spend time with a “Best Of / Worst Of xxxxxx” post. We’re getting to spend time with an Italian take on the Frankenstein story: Frankenstein ‘80.

Our main characters that we’ll take a deeper look at are: Professor [Bob] Schwarz, he who makes the incredible formula but not he who misuses it. Chief Reporter at the Crime Desk Karl Schein, who has a personal stake in finding the titular monster. Inspector Arnold Schneider, who catches the cases tied to our monster. Sonia [Frankenstein], who lives with her uncle -- and by the last name, I think you can work out that her uncle is up to nogoodnicks in regards to some illegal experimentations.

Our Characters Do Good!

Schwarz- Dr. Schwarz is a visionary as well as a noted surgeon. He manages to create a formula that can stimulate profound healing, though it hasn’t been vetted yet for general use. But the medicine is revolutionary, even if it turns out not to be quite ready for human consumption. He gets a mega-size KUDO.

Schein- Our reporter Schein does come up with enough evidence to point to Otto Frankenstein as a man of interest in the recent mysterious things happening around the Schwarz clinic. [Even without Otto’s stupidity helping him out.] I’ll give him a Half-KUDO.

Schneider- I also like Schneider’s police work… in general. He has a few moments of dunderheadedness, but together he and Schein make a competent investigative pair: I’ll hand him a Half-KUDO.

Frankenstein- Sonia doesn’t get a chance to earn a kudo.

Ugh. I don’t know what to do about Otto Frankenstein. The man did bring a patchwork man to life, which is like --- super-achievement of the century. Buuuuut… he’s also not questioned the morality or the practical affect on life as we know it by doing so, and clearly hasn’t given much thought to the impact on the creature himself being a revenant. I mean the dude is a mad scientist, but does Otto get a kudo or anti-kudo for proving that Schwarz’ work can do so much more in the future [if the formula is ever stabilized] than Bob’s considered? There is so much bad stuff that Otto Frankenstein does that I think I’ll side with Anti-KUDO for his revolutionary work….

Also on Otto’s behalf, I’m handing out a Half-KUDO… unlike his forebears, Otto doesn’t forsake his creation. In fact, he seems fatherly toward Mosaic, and actually regards the creature with tenderness and sympathy.

Our Characters BLOW!

[Bob]: Okay, you know that revolutionary anti-rejection medication that I handed a kudo over for? Well, Bob keeps it to himself in his office refrigerator with nothing standing between it and any thief but the clinic’s woefully inadequate security and an office door lock. He hasn’t kept careful notes. He hasn’t included any government labs or independent scientists to confirm his research. He hasn’t kept a supply at an alternate location in case a fire or other hazard strikes the clinic. There isn’t any redundancy for the survival of this critical substance whatsoever: DEMERIT, you frickin’ dumbass.

Karl: I don’t really have anything to demerit Karl over.

Arnold: There are times when Arnold seems a bit thick for being a detective, but I’ve found nothing egregious enough to demerit him for.

Sonia: UGH! I hate, hate, hate women who stand around watching their friend/family/lover getting murdered and doing absolutely nothing to fight/run/get help. And Sonia is particularly horrible at the moment Karl is being throttled by Mosaic. Not only does she do the 1950’s-I’m-A-Helpless-Woman thing, but she actually positions herself to watch her new-boyfriend getting killed. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen a helpless-female do [and led me once again to think there would be a twist end where Sonia Frankenstein follows in her crazy uncle’s footsteps as she finds herself turned on by watching Karl’s murder… but no… she’s just uselessly spectating until it’s her turn]. DEMERIT

I’m handing a DEMERIT to Special Nurse Fritz for keeping important details that were strange enough for him to note at the crime scene from the police because “it didn’t seem important”, despite it’s being weird enough to stick in his mind when Reporter Schein starts his own investigation.

I’m giving out a general Group DEMERIT to generally EVERYONE who isn’t a mad scientist, monster, or random ‘red shirt’. Nobody seems to think that the anti-rejection Schwarz-Serum is worth a penny until Dr. Schwarz says it is and they’re all mystified that anyone would want to steal it. Really? You honestly, really can’t think of anybody anywhere that would want to snatch up the doctor’s formula on the eve of his proving that it is a viable medical breakthrough that will change medical care for decades to come… until Bob says, “okay it worked, now it’s worth something”… ugh. We’re in an alternate Earth where there isn’t one person in authority with even minimal sense.

Otto Frankenstein is a villain, full stop. Despite his brilliance and his caring side, the man is a monster, so he can’t be handed demerits for his evil works in trying to keep his creation going. But what I can and do issue a DEMERIT to him for is not keeping stringent security much, much more in mind during his illegal activities: He a) keeps letting Mosaic free to murder and organ-theft on his own, b) kills/disappears hospital personnel drawing police attention to the clinic [including his rather well known clinic founder], c) leaves recordings of his secretive experiments in his unsecured desk drawer for anybody snooping/investigating to find and d) acts exactly as you would expect a man up to know good to act. All-in-all, he’s very bad at keeping his secretive experiment a secret.

Oh dear. I don’t know what to do about Mosaic, either. Nothing that happens is really his fault, ultimately. He’s been put together by several different donors, reanimated, is in constant pain, has no evident quality of life coming to him and is stuck with all of these human desires that transmute into rage-fueled violence that he seemingly can’t control. But for all of that, he’s also the one who willingly hides out in Otto Frankenstein’s lab to let the former doctor continually experiment on him, when he’s not out killing random women for their organs. Maybe if he’d taken the initiative of going to Dr. Schwarz himself for help…? I don’t know. Would you take the chance of trusting the authorities to help you rather than dicker around while your body is falling apart, or would you stick with your creator and hope the man can actually help you stabilize, or would you do exactly what Mosaic does… try to be proactive about saving yourself by getting your own organs rather than waiting around for convenient corpses to arrive by your benefactor, or finally would you take off into the night and let yourself come to an agony filled end in order to stop the nightmare of what you’ve become? Huh -- my whole thought process here is that I want to issue a half-demerit to Mosaic for not leaving Otto and seeking help from somebody else which could’ve prevented his becoming a multiple murderer -- but on the other hand, it’s impossible to know what is going on in his head, what Otto has been doing to manipulate his creation [but clearly he does have some sort of father/son dynamic with him] or how much of his behavior is being driven by agony/insanity due to his waking nightmare existence. Maybe I’m just reading too much between the lines into Mosaic, because despite his repulsive actions, I have some pity toward him. I think I’m going to go with the Half-DEMERIT though, as some of this actions -- specifically the prostitute rape and the feeling up the female butcher clerk seems to cross the “my monstrous existence made me do what I had to do” line and into a whole other type of evil. The only reason the rape isn’t getting a full demerit is because of my feeling that his very being is causing him to be half-mad throughout the picture.