Vega$Fe$t

The less you bet the more you lose when you win.-- Our mantra, taken from a casino menu.

Our friend Dr. Craps organized one hell of a bachelor party,
carrying on the Vega$Fe$t tradition. Let's hope that now that he
is married, this will
not be the last such occasion.

Pictured above is this year's motley crew of participants.
Notice Paul's surprise (far right) upon noticing that there
is a guy who looks exactly like him sitting across the table
(weird).

The Accommodations

As is tradition first class accommodations for all Vega$Fe$t
participants was provided by the fabulous Golden
Nugget Hotel and Casino. Their combination of convenient
downtown location, decent Pai Gow Poker availability, nicely
furnished rooms and sunny outdoor pool make this the place to
stay.

Cab fare from the Las Vegas airport is about $20 with tip. Be
sure to take pictures
out the window as you speed down the strip...

Gambling

Gaming is clearly a central activity of any Vega$fe$t. This
trip was no exception. As always, one should attempt to win money
as soon as deplaning. The friendly
slots at the airport, were as obliging as ever!

They don't call him Dr. Craps for nothing, and as shortly
after gathering as a group late Friday, the journey to the Mecca
of craps, Binion's Horseshoe was on. Once
the home of "10x odds on craps". Binion's now has
"100x odds on craps". What a country! Although Dr.
Craps came out shooting, making points left and right, when
I last saw him that night the chips looked rather scarce.

Casino War

Look out "Red Dog" and "Caribbean
Stud Poker"; spotted at the New York, New York casino is
perhaps the stupidest table game yet, "Casino War".

Here's how it works. You place a bet (this tabled happened to
have a $5 minimum bet), the dealer gives everyone at the table a
single card face up, then gives herself a card face up. Now
here's the tricky part... If your card is higher you win. If her
card is higher you lose, if you tie, you match your bet and each
of you gets an additional card, applying the previous set of
rules.

In the words of one happy gambler at the table: "It's so
simple, it's confusing".

"Family" Activities

Vegas is trying to cater more to the family crowd these days
by offering more shows, video games and rides to attract families
with kids, who might ordinarily go to someplace like Orlando.
This is not to say that lecherous and sinful activities are not
still available in abundance; clearly we would not have gone had
this been the case.

But hey, if they're going to build some exciting rides, more
power to 'em.

I would highly recommend the following two activities:

Stratosphere Tower
- Bob Stupak's VegasWorld has gotten a lot nicer in its
new incarnation as the Stratosphere. And the 1000 ft.
Tower which has been in construction since the early 50's
(perhaps I exaggerate), is finally open for
business. Now if you built a really high tower, would you
put a roller coaster and a catapult ride on
top of it? So would I! Beware, I certainly wouldn't stay
at this place, the neighborhood leaves a lot to be
desired and you really aren't very close to any other
casinos worth mentioning.

New York New York Coaster - I like this place. In fact I
stayed here on Sunday night (but that story comes later).
Built to look like the New York City skyline, the hotel
features large replicas of the Empire State Building,
Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge. And if you
went to the trouble of building something like this,
wouldn't you run a 60mph
looping roller coaster through the whole thing? So
would I!

Dinner

No bachelor party is complete without the traditional bachelor
dinner/roast. We gathered together at Caesar's for this affair.
The upscale "Nero's" restaurant being our
destination. Shortly into our meal, this kind woman asked if we'd
like our picture taken, she left shortly thereafter after
merciless harassment by 12 drunken hungry men.

Rick raised the interesting question that if a restaurant
today can be named after a sadistic tyrant from 2000 years ago,
is it possible that 2000 years from now there will be a
restaurant called "Hitler's"? Food for thought (no pun
intended).

John Elway

Vegas is crawling with celebrities. You just need to throw
your dignity and self respect away temporarily in order to beg
for a picture when you spot one. Here's me with quarterback for
the Denver Bronco's, John
Elway. After not turning around while I was following
him shouting, "John, John", I eventually cornered
him, and asked "Are you John Elway?" After answering
yes, I asked the obvious next question, "Really?"

Club Paradise, etc.

Since this was a bachelor's party, we decided to break with
tradition and actually hit a strip club. (That previous sentence
is an example of what is technically known as
"sarcasm"). Dr. Craps' choice, "Club
Paradise".

Our cab driver conviently sold us "Free Passes" for
a mere $5, which still saved us half the admission cost. After
greasing some more palms inside we were able to get some decent
group seating. When dealing with maitre D's, bouncers and other
folks in charge of seating, one should always ask "And where
would President Jackson be seated?"

Oddly enough, photography is prohibited in Club Paradise. The
following two pictures were obtained from anonymous sources:

The Hard Rock Cafe

Pretty much like any other HRC, except with a big casino in
the middle. This place is clearly where the hip go be seen. Wild
hairdos, wild clothes, piercing and tattoos, all with free drink
service as long as you're gambling!

The rest of the evening

Documentation of the hours between 2AM and
5AM remains sketchy at best... This picture was taken around
3AM...

The wake up call at noon was perfectly timed, since check out
time at the Golden Nugget is 12.

Reno Air

Things were going so well...

I'm booked on Reno air flight 504 to San Jose, leaving at
3:05. I checked my backpack around 2:15 and then walked to the
gate for an uneventful flight home.

Upon arriving at the gate, there appears to be some commotion.
Apparently our plane is stuck in Reno with mechanical problems.
Not only that, but they inform us that there are no
other available flights back to San Jose tonight. We are told
that an "update" will be given at 4:30 PM.

Another passenger suggested to me that the reason for the
delay was a faulty door on our aircraft. Apparently it would not
close properly. They didn't have a spare airplane or crew, but
the mechanics thought they might be able to use a door from a
different type of airplane. Great News!

After gaining this information, I decide it might be best to
go back to the ticket counter, since the line at the gate is
moving nowhere fast.

As suspected the line at the ticket counter was shorter. When
I got to the counter, I asked if I could be booked on another
flight tomorrow and get comped for a room tonight.
"No," I was told by the ticket agent, "you need to
wait until the announcement is made at 4:30."

"But I don't believe they're really going to get this
plane fixed and I prefer not to wait around for another hour and
a half just be told it's cancelled."

"Well you need to wait sir."

"But..."

At this point the ticket agent walks off and returns with her
manager, Ray. She asks me
to repeat the request I told her to Ray. Ray listens and repeats
that I'll just need to wait. Not being very happy with this, and
wishing to document how much more of my time was going to be
wasted, I asked Ray to jot down his name and the current time...

As you can see it is at this
point.

In expectation of trouble ahead, I ask for them to at least
give me my bag back. "Alright," I'm told. Wow they
actually did something helpful! But I'll need to wait for it to
be retrieved. By 3:45 my bag shows up and I trudge back to the
gate to await the announcement.

Shortly after 4:30 we are told that yes in fact the flight has
been cancelled, we all need to go back to the ticketing counter
to rebook and get hotel accommodations. Surprise!

To celebrate this great moment, I decide to buy an autographed
book from the well known author, Robert Davis. Robert's sold
the screen rights for all four of his books! The new one is The
Plutonium Murders.

By the time I get back to the ticket counter, the line is not looking good,
and Ray makes it clear that I'm not gonna get any favors. I'm
guessing that the line's going to last at least 2 hours after
watching it stand still for the first 15 minutes. Since I'm
basically last in line, I decide to try the phone. Gee wouldn't
it be a good idea if they had their phone ticket agents be able
to help people out too. That way they wouldn't need to rely on
just 3 people at the counter, their phone operators could these
customers out!

The phone operator didn't seem to agree with this logic.
"No sir you'll need to do this at the ticket counter."
"Can I speak to your manager?" At this point I speak to
a Fraser, who repeats the same answer. In order to make sure that
I'm hearing this right, I put it very simply:

So you're telling me that you can't provide
any service from the ticketing terminals located at your phone
bank. That I'll need to instead wait yet another two hours in
addition to the two I've already done?

Wow I'm almost at the front of the line. I see people I've
gotten to know waiting the past two hours, walking away with
vouchers in their hands. I'm finally going to get out of this pit
of an airport!

Ray has already gone home by the time my wait in line ends.
Now it's Rudy. Well Rudy
seems to be makin' a little more sense here. Let's see a comp
room, a free roundtrip and I'm booked on tomorrows flight at
about 10:00. It's still fairly early.

The Riviera

Not really where'd I'd like to stay, but so what, I just want
to get out of this airport!

I see a few familiar faces from the Reno Air line here. I get
to the front of the line and am told that "We can't accept
these vouchers, we told them we didn't have any rooms".

Excuse me?

OK, let's try out this talking to the manager thing again, I'm
0 for 2, but maybe third time's a charm. Nope, the manager was a
very odd woman. She quickly told me I'd have to go back to the
airport and get a voucher for another hotel. You can't do this
here? Nope, I'll need to go back to the airport.

When asked her name the manager insisted it was "none of
my business." I then asked if I could take her picture? At
this point she runs for the door to the back room and never
returns. Another higher up suit comes out the door in a minute
and I snap his photo, as he covers his face (man I wish I hadn't
already used up all the storage on the camera).

In short order I was escorted by a quite reasonable security
guard out to the taxi area.

Do you feel lucky punk?

When I arrive at the airport again (now having spent a good
$30 on cab fare), I see my pal Rudy verbally duking it out with a
very agitated man. Seems he had just gotten the same "We
don't have rooms" story at the Riviera, and wanted to make
sure Rudy understood his disappointment.

Eventually the man and Rudy appear to agree. But then the man
requests that the new hotel be contacted by phone in front of him
and guarantee that there is a room for him. Not gonna happen. The
man insists, Rudy declines, the man insists... At some point
during this spectacle, the police have been contacted.

An officer walks up along the ticket counter and stands
between Rudy and the man. The man begins to explain to the
officer what he wants.

Meanwhile, I look behind me and see another officer standing
there. "It's been a long day," I say to him, and then
begin to describe the events of the day. As I continue through
the story, I notice that several passengers waiting in line for a
different flight are listening in. When I got to the end of the
story with my return to the airport, I held my thumb up and
shouted to the listening passengers, "Go Reno
Air!"

The officer was unamused.

I was quickly ushered to the back of the ticketing area and
asked for identification. The officer seemed quite intent on
playing the over the top hard-nosed take-no-shit cop. I was
quickly told that I could be arrested on a number of charges
including "Attempting to incite a riot" Ouch!

Eventually the other cop returned with my ID having found no
record, much to his disappointment I can only assume. I did a lot
of "yes sirs" and the general brown-nosing these guys
seem to need, and was told not to cause anymore trouble.

Now I'm at the front of the line! And it's now about 8:30.
"Hi Rudy," I smile.

Apparently it was all just a big mistake and they're going to
fix things by putting us up at the Howard Johnson's. Wow!
Everybody goes to Vegas to hang at the HoJo's. This ain't gonna
work. Rudy actually agrees that I should get reimbursed for cab
and the hotel I chose to stay in (New York New York). I'm given a
note jotted on his business card as a "voucher".