- I see headphones suggested a lot on this site. I have found that they absolutely do not work to block out voices.

Headphones might not work, but earbuds that sit inside your ears with a tight seal can kill all noise.

I have a coworker who talks about what he's doing all day long. He hums, he sings, he mutters, he sighs, he huffs, he clicks, he hmmmmms. I have another coworker with horrible earphones that leak noise all over the office.

With my Sennheiser earbuds (note: NOT over ear headphones, in ear "earbuds"), I hear NOTHING, absolutely nothing in the entire open plan office other than the music I'm listening to. If anyone stands over me and talks directly to me, I can hear nothing. I have had someone once lean over and just about yell in my ear and I couldn't hear them. They have to wave a hand in front of my face to get my attention. I'm not playing my music loud, it just has a good tight seal and the sound quality is good enough that it blocks every thing out.

And what if she decides that it's not that big of a deal and doesn't want to change her behavior at all?

She's not at all the type to do that. I hope I'm not making her sound like a horrid person, as she is certainly not in the least. She's just...noisy. If she knew she was annoying people she would make every effort to stop.

What if this is a behavior that is so ingrained that she doesn't realize she is doing it?

I think that is probably the case and I also suspect she's a bit hard of hearing and thus fully expect that there will need to be reminders after the first discussion. On Monday I'm going to talk to the fellow who sits on the other side of her (he's even closer to her than I am) and find out whether he's having issues also. Perhaps he'll be willing to help with the reminders.

- I see headphones suggested a lot on this site. I have found that they absolutely do not work to block out voices.

Headphones might not work, but earbuds that sit inside your ears with a tight seal can kill all noise.

I have a coworker who talks about what he's doing all day long. He hums, he sings, he mutters, he sighs, he huffs, he clicks, he hmmmmms. I have another coworker with horrible earphones that leak noise all over the office.

With my Sennheiser earbuds (note: NOT over ear headphones, in ear "earbuds"), I hear NOTHING, absolutely nothing in the entire open plan office other than the music I'm listening to. If anyone stands over me and talks directly to me, I can hear nothing. I have had someone once lean over and just about yell in my ear and I couldn't hear them. They have to wave a hand in front of my face to get my attention. I'm not playing my music loud, it just has a good tight seal and the sound quality is good enough that it blocks every thing out.

I use sennheiser as well, people at work now know to poke me or wave a hand because if I cant see them I dont know theyre there (although I do have music on as well). I also love them because they mean I can listen to music on public transport without it having to be painfully loud.

Maybe you could start with something like, "Betty, you may not be aware of this, but you tend to talk to yourself a lot, and it distracts me." You said she would probably want to know and try to stop if she were made aware that it bothered someone, so that's good. But, if it's such a habit that she keeps doing it, maybe in a second conversation you could say, "Betty, you know how I mentioned you talking to yourself and how it distracts me? Well, maybe we could work out a signal I could send you when you're doing it." Then you could tap on your shared wall or send her an IM or whatever works best in your setting.

Issues like this make me glad I work alone in my little basement archive. I talk to myself all the time. I used to do it when I was a teacher too, especially when lesson planning or grading papers. Made it easier to think things through.

If she's aware that it's a distraction, she should be able to address it. I know I never did it when I was proctoring a test or having quiet work time in class. If no one has told her it's a pain, she has no reason to stop. There have been some good suggestions here.

I sympathize. DH has taken to doing this. He talks to himself when doing stuff, he narrates the Internet....then talks to me, w/ no change in voice volume or other indication. Sometimes I ask 'are you talking to me?' and other times I ignore him. Then he gets mad because he was actually talking to me but i 'wasn't listening.'

Maybe you could start with something like, "Betty, you may not be aware of this, but you tend to talk to yourself a lot, and it distracts me." You said she would probably want to know and try to stop if she were made aware that it bothered someone, so that's good. But, if it's such a habit that she keeps doing it, maybe in a second conversation you could say, "Betty, you know how I mentioned you talking to yourself and how it distracts me? Well, maybe we could work out a signal I could send you when you're doing it."

Squirt gun? I bet that would work!

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