Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Clorox hate-speech ad smears fathers

NaturalNews rips Clorox (maker of bleach and other household products) for this anti-dad advice:

6 mistakes new dads make

Saying ‘No-no’ is not just for baby. Like dogs or other house pets, new Dads are filled with good intentions but lacking the judgment and fine motor skills to execute well. Here are a few dangerous no-nos new Dads might make, and some training tips.

1. Forgetting weather gear: About 10 minutes into a cold, brisk, rain-soaked stroller walk he might ask himself ‘why is this baby crying so much?’ Then, he might notice the short-sleeved summer onesie Li’l Peach is dressed in and it might dawn on him to bundle that baby.

2. Backwards clothes: Ok, so the clothes might be clean. But is it baby’s jumper fitting oddly? he might notice but he’ll probably think it’s just the style the kids are all wearing. Better educate him that for safety purposes, hip-hop fashions should wait a couple of years.

3. Inappropriate screen time: Does an infant really need to watch reality shows? For that matter, does anyone? Prudence won’t stop Daddy from relaxing with a brew and blaring inappropriate shows while baby stares in horror/awe/wonder at the colorful moving yell-box. Tell Dad to embrace parental sacrifice and crack a book.

4. Forgetting to wipe (face): Baby can’t be blamed for eating like a spastic Harlem Shake dancer. But Dad can be blamed for not noticing the caked-on layer of dried yellowish crust (applesauce? sweet potato? Play-Doh?) surrounding Baby’s mouth and spattered baby food onto her bib.

5. Letting baby eat off floor: If a toy or bit of dried food falls onto the floor, it should really be washed off before baby puts it in his mouth. If Dad is the type to eat food off the floor himself, you have your work cut out for you. At least get him to enforce a 5-second rule.

6. Casino: Some new dads have been inspired by raunchy comedies to bring babies to inappropriate places like casinos, pool halls, and poetry readings. None of these places are healthy for baby. If Dad needs persuading, just tell him that babies are terrible tippers and can never make bank shots.

Hopefully, your new Dad will learn to exercise good judgment in time for baby 2.

I cannot get excited about this. Another battle in the Daddy Wars, I guess.

This list reminds me of the 200 pages of gripes that my wife filed against me in court. Little did I know, some stupid gay psychologist would take it seriously.

Clorox dropped the ads. If an advertisement made fun of gays or blacks this way, some heads would roll.