Texas man has hilarious evidence of Jade Helm takeover

Published 11:50 am, Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Chris Martin has uncovered sinister evidence of the federal takeover of Texas arising from the Jade Helm 15 military exercise that began Wednesday.

That's according to a (most definitely satirical) YouTube video published Monday ahead of the military operation, which conspiracy theorists allege will lead to gun seizures, martial law and imprisonment in make-shift FEMA internment camps.

The author for
the All News Pipeline even notes the deep ties between Blue Bell, the Bush
family, the Department of Defense, and the Military-Industrial Complex, and raises
suspicion over why the company’s unprecedented product recall came in the very
months leading up to Jade Helm. Perhaps Texans without ice cream in their
bellies will lose the will to fight.

A giant asteroid is coming to destroy humanity and the military knows it... so Jade Helm

Perhaps the military knows that a giant meteor will bring froth
humanity’s final days this September, and has planned Jade Helm accordingly to
roll out a fascist authoritarian police state ahead of the impending anarchy. Because
you wouldn’t want anyone looting in the Armageddon.

A great Russian war armada is literally on its way to the Gulf of Mexico right now to face off with Obama over Texas

For decades the feds have planned to turn Walmart stores into death camps and it's finally happening

Not long after the public learned of Jade Helm, news broke
that six Walmarts across the country were simultaneously closed with short
notice. But some folks knew what was happening—the Walmarts, linked by massive,
secret underground tunnels, would be converted to civilian prisons, processing
facilities and field officers for military leaders as soldiers swept through
the state rounding up the Texans and taking them away.

Video bloggers laid hand-drawn diagrams of the alleged
tunnel system (dated 1974) over Google Maps plots of each freshly closed
Walmart in the country, noting that they kind of lined up a little bit maybe.
Other citizens reporters fixed their camera phones on the shuttered Walmarts to
expose how construction crews were building death camps before our very eyes.

Those spring storms? That wasn't normal. We're already under attack.

Texans will be rounded up and herded into concentration camps administered by FEMA

Among the most prominent Jade Helm theories is that the
troops are coming to instate martial law. However, it’s important to note that many
parties sounding the martial law alarm have been doing so for many years. The
Federal Emergency Management Agency, FEMA, operates emergency relocation camps
where massive numbers of civilians could be sheltered if an entire population
were to become displaced, say by flooding. Some fear they're meant for internment of Americans if the government ever gets tired of having a populace.

Texans will be rounded up and herded into concentration camps administered by FEMA

The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!

Texas are notorious for their spunk. So when a U.S. Military
map leaked in April, detailing Jade Helm with Texas labeled as “hostile”
territory, many figured the troops were coming to break the subversive Lone
Star spirit and reassert federal control. They're going to take our guns and put us down.

The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!

Sinister plots and secretive actions aren't just reserved for
governments (sort of). Here are 23 of the quirkiest and most prevalent.

Sinister plots and secretive actions aren't just reserved for
governments (sort of). Here are 23 of the quirkiest and most prevalent.

Photo: Alex Wong, Photo By Alex Wong/Getty Images

Image 10 of 33

Chemtrails

Ever seen jets in the sky and watched the white trail that follows them? Those are called contrails (condensation trails) and it’s caused when hot exhaust meets cool air. Conspiracy theorists call those chemtrails because they allege that the government places chemicals in the contrails for mind control, to suppress human evolution, sterilize certain groups and/or control the weather. Environmental scientists have recently debunked the conspiracy. This is only one of the many bizarre conspiracy theories out there. less

Chemtrails

Ever seen jets in the sky and watched the white trail that follows them? Those are called contrails (condensation trails) and it’s caused when hot exhaust meets cool air. Conspiracy theorists call ... more

Photo: Nick Ledger/Getty Images/AWL Images RM

Image 11 of 33

Pluto

There are a number of conspiracy theories
surrounding the July 2015 flyover of Planet, but the most startling one
has its roots from much earlier. According to some people, Pluto simply
does not exist. Their reasoning is that if you cannot see it from an
Earth-based observatory, it does not exist.

When news surfaced of a military exercise in which Texas was labeled "hostile territory," many on the far-right saw something more sinister: a plot by the Obama administration to institute a military takeover of Texas. Later, when several Texas Walmart stores were closed due to plumbing issues, some on the radical fringe claimed that the Walmarts were being converted into giant entrance facilities for a network of underground tunnels the military will use to transport troops across the country.

According to a Public Policy Polling survey 28 percent of voters believe secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world through an authoritarian one-world government, the New World Order (as enunciated by the first President George Bush).
Conspiracy theorists have long pointed to the pyramid on the dollar bill as an Illuminati symbol.

Some believe the government is hiding a link between childhood vaccines and autism and refuse to have their children vaccinated, despite scientific evidence that vaccines are safe. A recent outbreak of measles in a number of states illustrates how dangerous this theory is.

was played in 1969. It was the Colts versus the Jets. Everything pointed to the Colts as winning the game but the Jets won, 16-7. Before the game began, the Jet’s quarterback guaranteed a victory and even though the Colts came close to scoring on several occasions, it happened once. Many people believe the Colt’s quarterback threw the game under the advice of the Colt’s coach, who had been rumored to have placed a $3 million bet on the Jets to win.

Some Americans believe that the government was behind or at the very least implicit in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Truthers point to evidence like the speed of the collapse, the melting point of the steel in the World Trade Center and the appearance of the damage at the Pentagon. All of their claims have been debunked, as shown in this Popular Mechanics article.

According to this theory, ex-President Bill Clinton, during and before his presidency, had some of his associates assassinated that stood in the way of his career. A rumored list has about 50-60 people that died “under mysterious circumstances” during the Clinton Administration. As the theory goes, President Obama has a kill-list too, as did both Bushes.

Back in 1985, Patrick Ewing was one the best college basketball players around. Rumor has it that during the draft lottery, the envelope that contained Ewing’s name had been frozen so that NBA commissioner David Stern could identify it and the Knicks would have Ewing.

This group believes the government initiated the digital transition to spy on its citizens more effectively. They claim that each box has a microphone and tiny camera installed so that everything people do gets recorded and sent for the CIA for investigation.

Everyone knows there is fluoride in tap water to help against cavities but several groups believe that there a few more uses for it such as government mind control, as a cover up for bad dental care, a New World Order plot to control people through the water and used to produce schizophrenia in Russian prison camps as well as a Communist plot to purify our body fluids.

It’s become popular to use natural or herbal medicines to help with everything from allergies to cancer. Doctors are on the fence about the healing properties of these natural cures, but many people believe that the pharmaceutical companies suppress evidence that proves how effective and safe natural cures can be and that if that information got out, these companies would go bankrupt.

Family groups are complaining about the amount of violence in television and movies but they may have another reason to protest. According to some conspiracy theorist, the government is showing violent, made-up attacks on fiction shows to de-sensitize the population into thinking these acts of terror could happen so when the government actually commits the acts, citizens would just accept that some outside group did it.

Long live the king. According to die-hard fans, Elvis Presley is alive and well, probably living in a retirement home. For those who are more pessimistic, or realistic, there are still questions over what killed him, leading many to think everything from assassination to aliens.

HAARP, funded by the US Air Force, US Navy, the University of Alaska and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), was a research program created to research the ionosphere but several people believe that it is being used to manipulate the weather and/or use radio waves as mind control. In fact, the former governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura, wondered whether HAARP was using the site for weather or mind control. He went to the site, but was denied access.

Despite the ever-changing and eternally complicated disease that is cancer, groups across the country believe the cure has already been found, as well as the cure for HIV/AIDS, but those greedy pharmaceutical companies refuse to release the cures and deny having it at all so they don’t lose any profits

Explanations for devastating acts of violence can take many different roads and this one alleges that the United States had previous knowledge of the attack on Pearl Harbor and did nothing to stop it because the government needed a reason to go to war. A conspiracy theory that can be changed to fit whichever war needed.

From print to the big screen, people have been following the Da Vinci Code since it first appeared on bookshelves but some people believe it should be moved from fiction to non-fiction. The theory that Jesus had children and the Holy bloodline isn’t new, people have been talking about this for decades but watching a movie is a lot easier than reading a book.

The movie Poltergeist, despite being PG, scared not only the audience but the crew and actors on the set as well. Actors reported several items missing or moved. The crew reported the same phenomenon. The child actresses, Heather O’Rourke died before the third film was released and 3 others died as well. Curse or coincidence?

Apparently Paul McCartney died in 1969 and his “people” found a look-alike, sound-alike to replace him. Theorist say clues to McCartney’s untimely timed death can be found in the Beatles' recordings, only if you know what you’re looking for.

Michael Jordan was rumored to have quit the NBA in 1993 because he was going to get suspended for gambling debts and instead of suffering the embarrassment, he decided to retire. That's right. The man who won three consecutive championships was going to get suspended for gambling.

This one sounds more science fiction than theory. In October of 1943, the USS Eldridge was rendered invisible by refracting the light around it, kind of like that scene in The Avengers. This was done with the help of the CIA and Pentagon to create a new type of stealth ship for the war. Where physics gets ignored is when the ship mysteriously appears in the ocean, without anyone moving it there. It’s rumored the crew suffered terrible health problems and several of them died. This event is known as "The Philadelphia Experiment".

Everyone knows about the Bermuda Triangle, right off the coast of Florida, the island of Bermuda and Puerto Rico. There have been several disappearances in that area of the Atlantic and many people believe it’s because the Triangle has some sort of mysterious force that sends ships and/or aircrafts to the unknown. This theory is not without merit since several of the lost aircrafts and ships remain to be found.

Not so much a conspiracy theory as a fan theory. This theory states that James Bond is a code name, instead of a real person. This would account for why he never seems to age, looks different as years pass and the completely different personalities from Bond to Bond throughout the years. It makes sense since M and Q are code names so why shouldn't the world’s best and more dangerous spy have one as well?