Whether it’s a sobriety “birthday,” a regular birthday or you just want to show your support, finding the right present for a newly sober friend can pose a challenge. Many people are used to giving bottles of wine or liquor as gifts — obviously not the best choice for your sober pal. Here are a few ideas I’ve given (and gotten):

“What’s that clicking I hear in the background?” a woman says into the phone. “You’re playing with the clip? Do you have the gun right with you there, too? Okay … could we agree to not use it while we’re on the phone; that would make me feel comfortable. Can we agree to that?”

When a doctor first told me to face the reality that I was an alcoholic, I offered my weakest rebuttal: “I’m 23,” I said, as though my age could magically change me from the person I knew I was: an alcoholic to the core.