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Friday, March 18, 2016

Need to Leave This Marriage!

Good evening ma. With a heavy heart I come to you for help. I left one of my fiance in the past cos I couldn't deal with the fact that he cheated on me just once. Then I met the man I married, told him about my past experience and he swore never to hurt me. I married him as a virgin cos I kept myself. To cut the long story short, I just found out that my so called husband has five single mistresses and six married mistresses, and he sleeps with them on our matrimonial bed. Then God took away his job and everything he has.
Our pastor called him and asked him to confess if he wants to be restored, that was when he opened up to me. Ma, these are little girls on our street, girls that I thought were harmless, one is even a pastor's child, one a church member. Then he sleeps with married women even those that are about 20 years older than him, even my close friends, his friend's wives, he has no limits, and he is a maniac ...
Ma, I've been trying to accept this but I can't, I've cried my eyes out, I have prayed, my pastor said cos of the defiled bed, a child has refused to come... He has been doing it for five years that we've been married. I want to leave the marriage ma. I've tried to forgive him but I can't. Since this revelation, anytime he makes love to me, I imagine him with those women on my bed.. Anytime I see him naked I get angry cos he has shown it to little girls and shameless women. I avoid movies and social media to avoid seeing anything that will hurt me.
Please ma, I need to leave this marriage, it has profited me nothing but pain. Please I need your advice.If I should tell you that I understand how you feel, just have it at the back of your mind that I'm lying because I don't. You have indeed tried and even God can testify to the fact that you deserve better than what your husband did to you.It's horrible, wicked and insensitive to imagine that the man you have entrusted your heart to has been sleeping under your roof and still claimed to love you. What many partners do not know is that infidelity has a spiritual repercussions and most times it goes first before failure and loss.But I am convinced that you wrote to me here because deep down in your heart, you still wish this never happened, you still love this man and you still hope that your marriage shall survive the painful revelations from your husband.Before your husband opened up, you have loved him and you have invested so much in your marriage. You prayed for him and fasted so that God can remember you and favour you with the fruits of the womb. You held hands with him and trusted God to guide him and bless him in all his endeavours.He was already cheating and you had no idea, but God being so merciful and kind sought for ways to deliver him, to bring him back and to convict him of his deceptions and manipulations.He decided to strip him of his job and forced him to confess to you of his randy life. I must remind you here that that was entirely the work of God in his life and that it was God's way of restoring him to the kind of man that you prayed for before you got married.God has started a great project in his life courtesy of your prayers and intercession and he began by exposing the filthiness in your marriage. Irrespective of his errors and shortcomings, if he has genuinely repented of his evil ways and is willing to surrender to the Holy spirit and allow God to lead him henceforth, will you give up at this point?Will you let go now that God has arrested him? Will you throw away all that you have laboured and invested your heart and life in? Will you trust the Holy spirit to redeem your husband and restore him to God's grace or will you leave him and your convictions about your marriage?I know that you you are pained and in all sincerity no lady will be happy to know that her husband has been visiting the neighbourhood and sleeping with them at will but there is an assurance I have that when God steps into a mess, he makes the best meal out of it.Instead of allowing your pains to consume you and destroy everything you believe in, please surrender it all to God who knows your pains. Instead of surrendering to the devil by leaving your marriage, please consider forgiving him and accepting him back and praying for divine restoration of his soul.If Jesus Christ died on the cross for our little errors, he also died for the painful infidelity and for cheating husband. And while those who don't understand will say "throw your marriage away", those who have been to the cross and have encountered God's grace and love will encourage you to give your marriage another chance.I personally know that it's not easy, but I also feel that this could be a turning point of your marriage where you shall enjoy the beauty of your marriage if you hold onto God one more time and forgive your husband wholly not counting the number of ladies he has slept with but trusting God who can see tomorrow from yesterday and knows much more than what you are experiencing today.The option is yours alone and nobody else will decide for you on what's best for you at this point of your marriage. I pray that whatever decision you make, that you will be happy with it.I pray that God will reveal himself to you and heal your heart of the pains and disappointments and give you the strength to go choose that which you are convinced and comfortable with.

3 comments:

In addition to what aunty Amara said, if it will make you feel better, u guys can relocate to another neighbourhood if u are willing to mk it work. Cut off association with those friends of urs who don't love you. If he turns a new leaf, pls forgive him. You can't forgive him n. Forget easily, it can only take the grace of God. Pray 4 grace

The only thing I can say to you is that this is an opportunity for you to get back the marriage that you deserve.Pray for him that he truly repents from such lifestyle.It's obvious that your prayers are being anwsered thats why he has been exposed.Don't forget that he has also been with you for these five years without a child,even if he cheated.Not every man will do such regardless of where the problem is coming from.I will also like to draw your attention to the fact that if every man will open up and confess to their wives the way he has done.Not a marriage will be spared not even that of many so called pastors.So,think wisely before you make a decision.

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