What To Wear, And What Not To Wear, At A Farm Wedding

25 or 30 years I ago I attended a wedding on a New Jersey farm. The land had been in the bride’s family for generations, and was replete with corn fields and hay bales. The groom was the brother of a man I hoped anxiously to marry. He would eventually propose, and I would accept, but not for several years.

In the early 80s a 25 or 26-year old unmarried High WASP might worry about what to wear to the wedding of her hoped-for brother-in-law. She might attend the event with an unquiet heart. And show up noticeably more fancy than most of the other guests.

Recently, Zan got married on her farm, and asked me if I had any good wardrobe recommendations for her family and guests. High WASP training strengthens sartorial understanding as much as it saps the necessary courage for love. And yes, perhaps only in this culture skirt fabric and matters of the heart are so closely linked.

For the record, I do not suggest belted knit vests. Or the nervous smile that must have accompanied my every move. But cotton jacquard is the right fabric. Polished cotton works too. And longish and fullish is the right silhouette.

What to wear to a wedding on a farm? A dress or skirt in a non-shiny fabric that won’t snag on hay bale seating, one long and full enough to allow for sitting on the ground if the picnic benches get crowded. Oh, and flats or wedges. No one likes to sink into dirt, no matter how glamorously.

The Grande Dame takes cotton jacquard to its most refined extreme. Has the hardest time choosing which of her hats to wear.

The Artsy Cousin tries to make her mother happy, loves that gray OIlily on the right, finds it’s sold out and takes that as the universe giving permission to mix purple stripes with a feather pattern. Just as well. The motorcycle boots might not have thrilled Mom. By the way, those chandelier earrings from Beladora are a steal at $495.

The Sturdy Gal is perhaps the happiest of all at a farm, given of course that she isn’t wondering why, oh why, everyone else is getting married while she is not. If you can’t wear flowered plimsolls to a farm wedding, when then? Her jeans jacket might raise a few well-plucked eyebrows, but she brings great presents.The best sort of guest, one you can count on to talk to Aunt Priscilla about terriers.

42 Comments

“…but our motto for the early 80s was. ‘In Volume We Trust.’” Oh, the prairie skirts with their lacy petticoats peeking out from beneath the hem, and the hair, teased and sprayed to an extent it wouldn’t wobble in a windstorm. I cringe a little when I think about it.

Suddenly I find liking all your suggestions. These are all great for young women, sigh.
I believe that the ” really ” elderly folk would dress for the occasion, be it anywhere.
So, we ” certain aged ” would have to choose something -in between. But then again, this latter was off topic.

Jussst when I’m sure I’ve ascended to Artsy Grande, you go and blow me right back to Cousin with one deft [brilliant] stroke: “The Artsy Cousin..loves that gray OIlily on the right, finds it’s sold out and takes that as the universe giving permission to mix purple stripes with a feather pattern.” It’s like you’ve got a laser beam aimed cross country directly into my brain. Welcome!

I like number one best, though without wedges. IMO Charlotte is correct about floral shoes and kankles (a term I haven’t heard for a long time). That said, if the weather is bad, one might consider any of the fun Wellies available :)

I always thought that for a wedding in the country side I would like to look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when they go to see the Polo match…except of course that I do not look the very least like Julia Roberts ;)

Oh I loved this. Though I wonder if one of those 50’s style dress would be allowed ? Flowery, or maybe red?

08/02/111:44 pm

beautifuldreamer1066 said...

Oh absolutely! Cream ground fabric with red mini daisies sprinkled all over or an off-white ground fabric with poppies floating across the hem borders, go for it! In fuller and longer skirts of the 50’s vintage ilk, these feel very girly and are perfect for an outdoor venue. I’d wear some ballet flats or maybe low-heeled ankle wrapped espadrilles or even a St. Tropez sandal if the venue is more park-like than Green Acres.

Once again I find myself between styles, I’d wear the Grande Dame’s dress and hat and is that a pretty printed shawl in the background? I love the Arty Cousin’s purple shoes. They grey dress is a definate yes but the print isn’t a good substitute for me and I just look silly in a headband.

What perfect timing! An invitation for just this very sort of event appeared in my mail a week ago and until now, I had not given any thought about what I would be wearing. I am surprised that I am so drawn to Queen of the Farm’s look, especially the frock and hat! I never thought of myself as a Grande Dame type (more the Sturdy Gal type, I was sure) and I certainly don’t see myself as “elderly” in any way! Thanks for the suggestions; I now have a list in hand and I’m ready to go shopping!

Your description of your experience in the 80s is too funny. I can only imagine the nerves involved in attending the event and the worrying spent over finding the perfect outfit. Glad it all worked out in the end!

Meanwhile, your first suggestion for a contemporary far wedding is great! Love the dress…

Ahhh, polished cotton, bliss. The description of your ensemble for the wedding is stellar, I can almost see you in all of your lovely, anxious prettiness. Every one of the style boards is great Miss Privilege, I think I like the Grande Dame the best.

Dear Lisa, Aren’t weddings such happy occasions? Cotton Jacquard is such a great fabric for a summer wedding as it would wear well during the day and not be entirely marred by wrinkles by the time one sat down to dinner. All of your dress choices are lovely. I also love the black wedges – height but comfort. You made me laugh with your comment “In Volume We Trust” as it was so true. I recall the bridesmaid dress I wore to my sister’s wedding – it was puffy and yet at the time unremarkable. I wonder what photos of us from this era that we shall cringe at when flicking through the photo albums in twenty years time. love Lindaxxx

The farm animal accessories clearly make the outfits. I’m going to a steampunk-themed wedding at the Bohemian Grove in October and my mind is reeling with the outfit possibilities. Steampunk is one thing, but the Bohemian adds a whole other layer to it.

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Am I serious? Privilege? Yes. At least when I'm not joking. While privilege can teach you what color shoes to wear with navy blue, nothing beats the privilege of being alive. So let's talk style, in the context of culture. Let's focus on the over-50. For more, please go here. Or you can reach me at my email: skyepeale@yahoo.com. That's the name I wanted to be called when I was 16. Ah. 16....