What's Will Be On Whitless Wonder's Boob Tube This Year

September 4, 2008 - John Whittaker

The Yankees are mediocre. I can flip between a sitcom and the game and be fine, but the Yankees and I need a little time apart. Don't worry guys -- it's not you, it's me. Honest.

What'll be on my boob tube, you might ask? Here's what probably won't be flickering on my screen -- anything new. This might be one of the worst seasons for new shows since they invented TV. America's Toughest Jobs? Kitchen Nightmares? Hole in the Wall? The Sarah Connor Chronicles? A Knight Rider spinoff?

Looks like I'll be relying on tried and true TV come late September. By night, here's what the News Gal and I will probably be watching, since saving money and going out are kind of mutually exclusive.

1. Monday: How I Met Your Mother (8:30) and Two and a Half Men (9 p.m.), both on CBS. When we left the How I Met Your Mother gang, an accident causes Ted to reevaluate his relationships with Stella and Barney, while Barney gets hit by a bus on his way to visit Ted in the hospital. Meanwhile, Two and a Half Men just floats merrily along delivering laughs even though the focus of the show has changed from the relationship between Jake and his uncles (a storyline that was a little Three Men and A Little Lady-ish without Tom Selleck and Steve Guttenberg) to Charlie and Alan and their search for the right woman/women/one-night stand and getting older. Good times, and a really solid hour of TV.

Once those shows are over, however, the News Gal and I find ourselves in trouble, especially when there is no Yankees game to flip over to. Usually, this means we're watching Family Guy re-runs or popping in a movie. Dancing With The Stars is over by then, and neither one of us like CSI in any of its 800 variations.

2. Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Tuesday and Wednesday are lost nights for me on TV since I'm working. But, I've got a feeling, when she's not checking in on Bridezilla on the WE Network (News Gal's a bit of a fan) that she might be feeling out the 90210 spinoff at 8 p.m. Tuesdays on CW and Dancing with the Stars at 9 p.m. on ABC. Wednesdays, we've watched The New Adventures of Old Christine when it was on Mondays, but the show is hit or miss. Gary Unmarried looks promising -- it's about time Jay Mohr had a decent vehicle.

3. Thursday: Survivor (8 p.m., CBS). Must-watch for the News Gal and I -- though I blame the News Gal. I abhorred reality TV before I started dating the lovely future MRs. Whitless Wonder. Now, I'm hooked on Survivor. I can't wait for the season to start, though they need to bring back Top Gun Terry. At 9 p.m., though, we're usually up a creek without a paddle because the rest of the lineup sucks out loud. Neither one of us can get into The Office, Saturdan Night Live (which debuts a Thursday show this year) jumped the shark years ago, and, once again, CSI IS TERRIBLE! CSI every night of the week might be overkill.

4. Fridays: Remember when Thank God Its Friday meant good TV? Not anymore. If you enjoy television, it's more like Thank God There's A DVD Player night. Nothing on the Friday night schedule looks watchable. Our advice is to find a good DVD or grab old TV DVD series and watch them like they're new on TV.

5. Weekends: Saturday and Sunday are sports nights. I work Saturdays, so I never get invested in Saturday's shows. Sunday is football, from 11 a.m. until the night game, if it's any good. Channeling my inner John Madden, what I do is pick out a good seat on the couch, right about here. Then, I pick up the remote and BOOM, I can change channels to the game that best interests me. Then WHAM, I might have dinner, probably pizza or chili.

We might make sure we catch new Family Guy episodes, but that's about the only show we both agree is a must-watch.

Survivor needs to bring back Top Gun Terry, who won something like eight challenges in a row to keep from being eliminated by a tribe that hated him. That guy rocked! Did I mention he's a fighter pilot? If that was me, I'd be running around with Highway To The Dangerzone playing constantly. People would hate me!

Even though we live in Bills country, the News Gal and I hope some Pats games are carried this year. Sundays are all about the NFL in our house - and why not, Syracuse's lingering stink has pretty much ruined college football for me this year.