Monday, August 18, 2008

Ravelympic Moment

[fanfare] DA-da-da DA-da-da DA-da DA-dl-aaaaa! [/fanfare]

Yarmando has performed strongly so far during the Ravelympics, rapidly progressing through the qualifying rounds of his event, "Work In Progress Wrestling." But he made a fatal error in judgment this evening which, even more than costing him the gold, could place him out of medal contention entirely.

Fans will know that Yarmando began training with Team Browncoat in early March. His commitment was spotty, but he seized the chance to enter Ravelympics and emerge a champion, with the Wash Sweater finally finished.

When the torch was lit, the body was already complete to the underarms, and the sleeves had barely begun. Yarmando chose to work the sleeves with a high degree of difficulty: knitting both sleeves at once. This would slow progress, but also insure that the sleeves were identical in construction, the rates of increase perfectly synchronized.

For extra style points, Yarmando had chosen to knit the sweater seamlessly in the round. Some of the judges are likely to subtract points from the authenticity of the finished object, but others will appreciate the adherence to traditions set by the great Elizabeth Zimmerman.

Sadly, Yarmando discovered that, for this particular design, Zimmerman's ingenious method of combining the sleeves with the upper body would clash with the established cables. Though it might appear to observers that he was showing strong progress, he was losing his form. After some soul-searching, he forfeited the latest round (the latest 8 rounds, in fact), losing an entire day's work.

Hope is not lost. Yarmando performed well in this event in the past, and so his fans and coaches know he has it in him. But is there time for him to change design direction before the Olympic torch is extinguished?

Yes, more like synchronized diving than synchronized swimming. One of the divers failed to get as much height off the springboard as the other (that is, the cuff is two rounds shorter) so judges will be subtracting points for that.

you know, I got a free muffin. Muffins are great. Mine has Cranberries and some sugary junk on top. I did look for a bran muffin but there were none. I love a sweet bran muffin.

Sweaters are like muffins. Sometimes you really want a perfect sweet sweet bran muffin but you get one with cranberries and sugar on top instead and it's yummy too.

Sometimes, you stick your landing and then they give the medal to some Chinese girl just because the judges are biased against the US gymnastics team and they want to promote comunism as a sports training tool.