Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

~Most people who are born again don’t really understand the Trinity. How important can it be?~Most people who are born again don’t view the Trinity as being centrally connected to their ethics or the nature of the universe. How important can it be?~Though Christians give lip service to it as being a true and Biblical doctrine, I doubt one in twenty Christians could explain how anything about their spiritual lives and the nature of the universe would be fundamentally different if the Bible had instead proclaimed mere monotheism or tritheism instead of this idea. In other words, they know they’re supposed to believe it’s really important (and they sort of do), but they don’t really know why.~How can something be so important and yet so dastardly difficult to describe accurately?~Why don’t we find more natural metaphors for something supposedly so central to all of reality?~Is it worth dividing between us and Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Oneness Pentecostals, and Unitarians, not to mention Jews?

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

~Haiti update with Food for the Hungry--(800) 408-2206~Which should come first on Sunday morning: singing or preaching?~Is gratitude a skill or a gift?~Do you believe places have spiritual mojo?~What role does certainty play in your faith?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

~Holidays are inherently controversial, picking themes or subjects which not everyone agrees should be honored.~Especially the person-centered ones like MLK Day wind up over-emphasizing one person while failing to recognize the meaningful contributions of thousands of others.~Most holidays just become excuses to barbecue and lose any real meaning, such as Memorial Day and Labor Day.~Holidays really mess up work schedules and cause other logistical issues because of the changes in traffic, e.g.~Holidays cost money and productivity because people would otherwise be working and aren’t.~If 5 days of work seems like so much that we need periodic days off, why not go to a 4-day work week? Then again, how big wussies are we that we only work 5 days? The Bible says to work 6 days.~If we honor God’s Son by having one day off for His Birthday, are we then saying that Columbus is as important as Jesus since he gets a full day too?

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

~Are cookies mentioned anywhere in the Bible? Isn’t the Bible our standard for faith and practice?~How dare you eat cookies while some people have no food at all. ~They make you fat.~Sugar is unhealthy, just look at our diabetes epidemic~They encourage you to eat raw dough, which contains raw eggs, which can contain salmonella, which is bad.~Do we have a gluttony problem in America?~Many people have whey allergies. ~What nutritional purpose does the cookie satisfy?~They cause disagreement over how to be done or what sort is the best.~They take too much time to make and are too difficult to cook properly.~They ruin your appetite for real food.~Children always want to eat them first and get into trouble pilfering them when they shouldn’t. ~Like Krispy Kreme donuts, they are really only worth eating while they are still warm. After that, what a waste!~Isn’t self-control a fruit of the Spirit? ~At any moment you might have a cookie, you have three options: Eat a cookie, Eat nothing, Eat something healthy. When is “eat a cookie” ever going to be the best of these three alternatives?~Your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit, isn’t it?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

There seem to be four positions on God's relationship to "acts of God":

1. God has nothing to do with these catastrophes.

2. God allows but does not desire these catastrophes.

3a. God wills and causes these catastrophes to punish evil.

3b. God wills and causes these catastrophes for a variety of reasons, including sometimes to punish evil.

Post-show thoughts: Though I was in the "2 or 3b" camp until today, after reading everything I could find in the Bible on this subject, I am now pretty firmly in the 3b camp. And when it comes specifically to earthquakes in the Bible, they always seem to indicate either the anger/judgment of God or else the presence of God. In any case, our response to such catastrophes is clear: to help those in need and to bring glory to God in so doing. But I am no longer comfortable saying that God merely allows natural disasters (as opposed to man-made disasters). His purpose in doing them is Biblically ambiguous, but His authorship of them is not Biblically ambiguous at all.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

~It creates jobs cleaning it up.~It’s artistic.~People have been painting walls as early as the cave dwellers.~The urge to leave your mark on the world is an indicator of the creator image instilled in us.~We all want to create a sense of permanence, so we carve our initials into trees or draw them on school desks.~As yourself this question: Why is this urge so universal?~Sometimes the only reading material you have in a restroom is graffiti.~Political and social commentary are often the content of graffiti~It’s democratic. Even the poorest of people (who own no property, billboards, or printing presses) can express their ideas publicly this way.~Some ideas are more important than the destruction (defacing) of property~This is the only way for the young and the poor, who are systematically marginalized from social discourse because of their lack of economic power, to be heard.~Most of the surfaces which receive graffiti were extremely ugly to begin with. Only a fascist would prefer a stark gray aqueduct to one with artwork on it.

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

~Rudeness is just an uncharitable word for honesty.~What’s the opposite of being rude: being polite. And polite is just a nice term for lying.~It’s entertaining. Comedians often reveal meaningful and humorous truth by being deliberately rude and clever.~When you say an unpleasant truth, people will wiggle their minds out of hearing it if there’s any way they can. So rudeness communicates so clearly that it denies them the ability to pretend you didn’t mean what you said.~Rudeness is apparently in fairly high demand, look at Talk Radio and TV shows.~Jesus was extremely rude, sometimes to His enemies and other times to His disciples.~Paul was rude to Peter’s face and in talking about the Judaizers.~When something is gravely serious, rudeness is the only appropriate way to express yourself and the significance of the issue.~Rude people get what they want. They get things done.~When the other person in the interaction is morally dense, rudeness may be the only successful strategy for penetrating his mental fog.

Monday, January 11, 2010

In case you had not heard the story, back in November a woman and her two-year-old son were ejected from a Southwest flight because he wouldn’t stop screaming and people couldn’t hear the safety announcements. The airline reimbursed her for the flight plus a free voucher for another flight, and they apologized for her inconvenience while affirming the decision as necessary by FAA requirements. An opinion piece written for the LA Times not only thought this was a good decision, it also argued that the parent was way out of bounds in even thinking that she was entitled to take an upset child on a plane. So the question is: what should be done with young children who are screaming while flying?

I suppose one of the most common new year’s resolutions in this economy is to manage money more responsibly. In that spirit, I thought it would be fun to talk a little about prices for ordinary items and talk about how much we are willing to pay for them, especially when we see those things being ridiculously overpriced and other people apparently willing to buy them. See, I figure that for some people, just finding out that other people think $50 for a pair of jeans is outrageous, for instance, might help them get a better perspective on areas where they are currently overspending. So, pick something you have a particularly clear idea about and then tell me what price you wouldn’t pay over for it. Another way to think of this is to think of the things other people buy that just amaze you when you hear how much they’re willing to spend.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

~Is your love of Him conditional upon Him satisfying your demand list? ~God isn’t Santa Claus~He already knows what you want, why do you bother telling him?~He already knows what is best for you, why would you try to persuade Him to change?~Either what you’re praying for is the ideal thing for you or it isn’t. If it is, why would you imply that God isn’t wise enough to know this. If it isn’t, why would you imply that God is imperfect enough to be persuaded into doing an inferior thing?~If God’s Will is perfect, why do you bother expressing your own?~People spend so little time in prayer as it is, why waste that time with something so much less important than adoring God, confessing to God, loving God, or thanking God? ~If we’re supposed to be content in all circumstances, why would we bother asking God to give us particular circumstances?~If we’re supposed to thank God for everything, why would we bother praying to God for anything in particular? ~Don’t you get annoyed with a friend or a relative whose only reason for getting in contact with you is to ask you to do something for him?~Consider the college student who only calls home to ask for money.

~Abortion is wrong because of the potential destroyed, when people reach the end of their lives, what potential is being destroyed?

~People’s desires should be honored.

~Even if you think this is wrong, that’s your choice for your own life.How dare you impose your peculiar religious convictions on other people?

~Either you understand this decision, in which case how can you so oppose it, or you don’t understand it, in which case you just haven’t ever seen someone go through this or really thought much about it yourself.

~When a horse has a broken leg or a dog has a serious disease, we kill them because we love them and because that’s the merciful thing to do.

~Why is life in the continuous and increasing presence of pain good?

~Why is life in the continuous and increasing inability to think clearly good?

~When people’s entire personality is gone, what sort of “dignity of the person” is left anyhow?

~How do you view athletes who don’t know when it’s time to quit their sport?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

~How important is the Apostle’s Creed?~Why does Jesus want us to visit convicts?~Should Sunday morning friend seekers or deepen believers?~How should Christians respond to a recession?~Is gratitude a skill or a gift?~Do you believe places have spiritual mojo?~What role does certainty play in your faith?