Are you allowed to have Rich Tea biscuits with Coffee?

That’s what I was pondering today. The mild OCD side of me – the part that has to fold crisp packets into neat triangles, even other peoples – says no, they’re Rich Tea, not Rich Coffee. But I like Rich Tea biscuits so I went wild and had one anyway.

I also like that there are many non-Brits who’re going WTF is a Rich Tea biscuit. I suspect they’re also unaware of the crisp packet triangle, mostly because they have giant packets of crisps/chips in the States and big packets don’t fold so well. I mean, I can still make a sharing bag of Doritos into a good triangle because I’m a legend at the crisp packet triangle, but you know – it’s a skill.

I was just reading a v funny BuzzFeed thing on Brits confusing the World. The one about a “cheeky Nandos” had me choking on my Rich Tea biscuit with laughter. But I get accused of confusing the world with my books. I’d get comments about it on Wattpad too, but this is a real Amazon one-star review of Nearly Almost Somebody:

“Would not recommend. Too much British slanguage.”

Each to their own, but I’m not sure I’d want to write a book set in England, featuring British characters and not use British vocabulary – it simply wouldn’t sound genuine. And if we all stick to using universal terms when writing novels… well that would be just dull. Besides, there’s also a devilish part of me that revels in US confusion — I figure it makes up for all those Sweet Valley High books I read as a kid and hadn’t the first clue what Bangs, Broilers and Station Wagons were. And let’s not even get started on the time I worked at an American summer camp and discovered that a “Fanny Pack” was a real thing…