I find myself scrambling for solutions to my dilemma, and have finally come up with one. I will go homeless. I need medical, food, diapers, and a home. A home and its overhead are the greatest of my expenses, but if I forgo having a place to live and its many expenses, I can have the rest. I can eat; afford medications and medical; and, Thank God, afford to change my depends three times a day instead of my usual day or two.

Now while it seems to be acceptable to go without food or medical or live in dirty diapers, going homeless causes people to suck in their wind or brings forward hushed silences. “How could you?” People ask. How could I what? Eat? Attend to my medical needs? Change my diapers?

You see—if I’m encased in a home, people don’t have to know about the rest. If I forego a home in order to take care of the rest, people ask questions. I have no qualms about opening my big mouth.

I’m old and crippled. There are logistics to consider. A toilet is necessary. So that would necessitate a van. No—I’m not going to live on the outside. I think I’m going to get a van and live in it. I can do that for a number of years. If the time comes people believe they are going to shove me into a nursing home, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. But I can tell you now—ain’t gonna happen. I’ve spent my life taking care of myself and others, and I will not be pounded into the position of being forced into a warehouse that provides the substandard care often levied upon the poor.

I will miss heat, electricity, TV, but Que Sera… I will love clean diapers, access to food, and access to medical.

Currently, I am on Medicare for the disabled. I will lose drug coverage soon. I will be reduced to finding coverage elsewhere. Medicare Part D prescription drug coverage costs up to a few hundred dollars a month. There is what they call a donut hole where up to $3000.00 of your prescriptions are not covered. If you do not have that money to spend, you never meet the criteria for coverage. Thus, you never get needed medication.

If I provide myself with shelter, I will not be able to provide for my medical needs. I choose medical.

I still have four months to plan my escape into obscurity. Whatever I can save of my life will go into a small storage bin. When I die, I have no doubt remnants of my existence will be auctioned off. Somehow, obscurity seems appropriate.