The Long Term Effect of Incest

by anonymous
(San Jose, ca)

Don't know were to begin. My life has sucked for me! Civil war, my mom left me, my cousin raped me, my dad sexually abused me etc. I can't imagine how I survived. I am going to be 40 soon and till this day.., I ask myself, honestly how was I able to keep going. What helped me was school! I love school so much, that for a period of time I blocked everything. Then college came and all the sudden I felt like my mind wasn't able to focus anymore. I should have continued, but didn't finish. Now I know why. I never got the help that I needed and I don't believe for a second that medication freaking helps. Come on! Sorry to say, but what has happened to us isn't going to go away with a freaking pill.

Our pain is in our system, in our soul! I took pills, helped maybe controlled my hormones and emotions, but it didn't erase what happened. Have to say, that for me I am beginning to feel the aftermath of what incest does to a young child.

First, you never had a childhood. You had to survive. Second it's hard to be normal. Third, the trauma is so intense that it's a disability. My biggest dream is for someday to wake up without any worries in the world. That would help me. I mean, I had to worry about my survival as a young child. I lost my childhood. I am not normal.

Now, I am married have a child and honestly I am trying to have a normal life, but lately, my depression is coming back, I am losing my memory and functioning is becoming harder. My mind is a fog. I feel like it's time for someone to take care of me. I am so tired. So tired... I've taken care of myself since I was in middle school. I had to survive. Right now... I am so emotional. Just tired and notice that my memory loss is becoming worse. Time is becoming real short. If it continues... I am going to the doctor. Something isn't right!

Comments for The Long Term Effect of Incest

There is no un-doing what has been done to you, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know, I have been there. My mother was molested and it damaged her, and in turn, she damaged me. She has moved over sixty times in her life and wrote a book about how to move. She thinks her life is perfectly normal: Depression, moving, all the drama, failed relationships. I always knew something was wrong with our family growing up. All of us kids did. By the way, our family was very wealthy. Incest is a disease that knows no class or monetary boundaries. And that is the problem. No boundaries. I spent a year in therapy taking my life back from my mother who had no boundaries with me. You have to choose to be happy no matter what life throws at you. It is very, very hard to do but it is the only answer for your mental health. Seek therapy. Love yourself. You are the only you you have. I did it, you can too.