Today’s post is guest-written my friend and fellow UC warrior, Lizzy! She’s a recent first-time marathoner, and in case you were thinking about signing up for 26.2 miles, you get to hear firsthand advice and race recaps from a finisher of the New York City [freakin] Marathon today! So from one friend to another, here’s Lizzy :).

Oh- and if you can’t get enough of her, be sure to check out her blog HERE!

Hello, Internet Friends! My name is Lizzy, and I ran the New York City Marathon on November 5th. What?! It still feels so crazy whenever I say that out loud. I’m comin’ atcha today with my experience, things I learned, and key takeaways for those of you crazy enough to consider doing 26.2. Hopefully I can give y’all a little bit of a better idea about what to expect when training for a full marathon. Let’s dive in, shall we?

1. Why did you decide to run the NYC Marathon?

One of the biggest responses I faced when telling people I just wanted to do a full marathon (knowing I’m a slower runner) was “Well, why even run a marathon if you’re going to be out on the course for that long?” Fair enough. I’m a slow-poke runner. But, I actually chose to do the race for a special reason, that had nothing to do with my love for running. In 2014 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. The diagnosis came after almost a year of questions, miserable symptoms, an incorrect Crohn’s Disease diagnosis, and four different doctors and specialists. Stacey shares a similar diagnosis to me, which is how we met originally. Getting diagnosed with a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease is really tough on a number of levels, but one of the hardest pieces is it’s effects on your physical ability and energy. When you are flaring, you have close to zero energy. It is so, so hard to bring yourself to do anything physically challenging because your body is working so hard to keep itself healthy. I did not choose to run a marathon because I thought it would be a *fun* challenge. I chose to run a marathon to prove to myself that UC will not limit me in every aspect of my life. This is why I originally started running 3 years ago; to show UC who’s boss. The NYC Marathon was offered as a race through the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation’s Team Challenge program—where you fundraise for the Foundation and train for a marathon at the same time. I’ve done several half marathons with this organization before and they are a BLAST. This felt like the perfect way to tackle my first 26.2! I signed up and immediately hyperventilated. I felt like I’d bit off way more than I could chew!

2. What did your training schedule look like, and how long did you train?

My training officially started in June of this year. I ran three days a week, cross-trained twice a week, did strength training one day a week, and took one solid rest day. There are so many different training plans to follow, and I felt like three days of running was plenty for me. My cross training consisted of low-impact activities (I usually flip-flopped between swimming/aqua jogging, the elliptical, and spinning), while my strength training was more focused on full-body movements that built up my core and lower body muscles. For some context: I was returning to running after an injury I sustained last fall—so I needed the extra days of cross-training to make sure I didn’t re-injure myself. Thank goodness for my physical therapist.

3. What was the most difficult part of your training?

The training itself was really, really tough. I felt like I turned down a lot of opportunities over the summer because I was so focused on my training schedule. Then, to add another layer to the crazy, I auditioned and got a part in a musical that was occurring in mid-November. Add weeknight rehearsals on top of marathon training, and I felt like I hadn’t seen my friends or live-in boyfriend in three months. Ack! The time-suck is easily the worst part of marathon training. You have to mindfully plan your time, and this can be kind of a buzz-kill. Spontaneity wasn’t something I could really afford myself this summer and fall. Training is really a part-time job.

4. What were you most nervous about? Advice?

The day of the race was next-level. I was so, so nervous. There was a lot of excitement, too. But mostly nerves. I knew I needed to trust my training, but I was feeling a bit discouraged because of what my time goal was. I wanted to finish around the six-hour mark. Listening to others at the start who’s goals were two hours shorter than mine was tough, I won’t lie to you. It messes with your head a bit and made me wonder if I was really cut out to do this. But, I was excited to deliver a big “eff you” to Ulcerative Colitis and prove to myself that I could finish. I’m happy I went in with that attitude, because the race exceeded my expectations. The crowds were so supportive, and it didn’t matter that I was running with the six-hour pacer. There were so many of us in the back of the pack! I wish that I had seen more stories about slower runners before I attempted this—there are a lot of us! The energy was infectious and for the first 19 miles, it didn’t matter how slow or fast I was. I fed off the New York energy and felt like a total rockstar. Running these larger races can do that to you. It also helped to see family and friends on the course. I would absolutely recommend bringing a hype squad with you, especially for your first race.

My mom and her sign on the course!

5. What was your least favorite part of the marathon? Best part?

I started to have a really tough time right after mile 19. For whatever reason, my hip gave out. I had done all my training runs, I felt healthy going in—it just goes to show that sometimes things don’t go as planned. I tried to run a little bit, but I ended up having to slow down to a full walk (I had been doing a walk/run interval prior to slowing down) and that was really, really disheartening. It slowed my time down significantly, and put me finishing about 45 minutes after I thought I would. The last 7 miles were the worst for me mentally. After doing so well, having to slow down just as you’re about to hit the wall was not a fun feeling and I’m not going to lie—it was a struggle. There were many tears and I considered just giving up. But, all of this emotion was followed by one of my favorite parts of the whole race—at mile 22 a very nice lady in the Bronx offered me a slice of cheese pizza. It was exactly what I needed, and made me smile. I was able to stay positive for rest of the race.

6. Mental or physical- which did you rely on the most for this race?

What everyone says about the mental game of the marathon is true. It doesn’t matter how slow or fast you are, the most important thing is believing you can do this. I bawled when I crossed the finish line. Physically, I was so tired. Mentally, I was spent. It was such a mix of relief/exhaustion/frustration/elation; it took me a while to fully process what I felt after finishing. I was so glad to have finished, to have done it, to have shown my body that I could do it. No matter how hard it was, I did it. UC limits me in a lot of ways, but it didn’t keep me from finishing my first marathon. And for that I was grateful.

Me right after I finished, post-cry sesh!

7. Did you have a finish time goal in mind? If so, did you meet it?

Try to not have a set finish time in mind. Take it from someone who was told this—it is so, so hard to not go into something like this with a time goal. I had one, and I so wish I hadn’t. I think if I had gone in with the ONLY goal of finishing, I wouldn’t have beat myself up so much after I had to start walking at mile 19. I finished an effing marathon, and my concern for those last 7 miles wasn’t finishing—it was finishing quicker. That wasn’t fair to me, my emotional state, or my body at that point in the race. My biggest regret with this race is that I didn’t just try to enjoy the last couple of miles. I was positive, sure, but I was so anxious. Besides the nice lady offering me pizza, I don’t remember a lot from the last 7 miles. I wish I had.

THE BLING!

8. What’s the best advice you can give to someone thinking of running a marathon?

For those of you who are thinking of doing this, I have three pieces of advice: train well, stay healthy, and for the love of all that is holy, try not to go into your first race with an exact finish time in mind. Train well so you feel confident going into the race. It’s ok to miss a run every now and then—I missed a long run about a month before my race and had to shorten it because of a bad cold. This leads to my next piece of advice-STAY HEALTHY. You are not doing your training a favor if you run with the flu. Give your body a break. You know what’s best for you. I’m glad I shortened that longer run with a cold, because I was able to crush my 20-mile training run the following weekend since I wasn’t sick.

Give yourself lots and lots of grace while training for a marathon. LOTS AND LOTS OF GRACE. This is a massive undertaking. Surround yourself by people who support you and encourage you. Make sure you take your full rest day each week. When that’s all said and done, ENJOY THE HECK out of the race and wear your medal for as long as physically possible. I’ve carried mine with me the last week because I’m so proud of myself. Wear your finisher’s gear. Own that pride. You just finished a flippin’ marathon! Will I do another one? Heck yes. But for now, a half marathon is still my favorite distance, and I’m going to give myself a break. I want to focus on staying healthy with UC. I also want to treat myself to a big ole’ plate of cheese fries. Priorities.

-Lizzy

HUGE shoutout to Lizzy, for not only taking the time to write this post, but also for making marathons sound far less intimidating and attainable, even for us mere mortal slow-pokes who just wanna make a difference. You are an actual badass.

And now, I’ll dream of that mile 22 New York style pizza all the live-long day…

Today feels like a Wednesday, but thank goodness it’s only Tuesday. This week is packed full of organic chemistry. I have decided to finish the rest of the semester up in the next two weeks before I start a new job that I just accepted (more on this later), which means I don’t have much free time. However, I did manage to procrastinate just long enough to whip this baby up.

I started off this cold, chilly fall morning thinking, “I’m going to make hot chocolate” but it turned into a frothy morning drink thing. My older sister lives with Hashimotos Thyroiditis and is deeply addicted to toffee nut lattes from Starbucks (against my begging and pleading). I’ve been trying to find something that’s hormone balancing but still tastes great, and I think this is a solid solution. We’re going to call this a “Mint Chocolate Hormone Balancing Drink”.

This concoction has hormone-balancing ingredients like coconut oil and maca root powder. I read several articles on maca and finally ended up consulting pubmed for more conclusive/reliable research. Many of the healthful claims about maca haven’t been scientifically proven [yet], however, maca does appear to be beneficial in elevating mood (1), regulating estrogen levels, especially in menopausal and post-menopausal women (2) as well as serving as a helpful alternative for persistent pain management (3). Until we know more about maca scientifically, take all the “maca will change your life and your energy levels and help you grow strong, Rapunzel-like hair” with a tiny grain of salt. Yes, it’s a great root starch from the Andes mountains, and yes, it does provide health benefits (and I’m hopeful that with more research we will know more). But remember that in most areas of life, “too much of a good thing is a bad thing”…so don’t make maca your daily breakfast, lunch, and dinner situation.

Okay. Recipe time. This one is quick and easy, and the balance of the nutty flavor of maca with the cacao powder and mint gives such a satisfying taste without being overbearingly sweet. If you do find your sweet tooth in need of some TLC though, just add a couple of tbsp of organic maple syrup to this recipe- I’m sure that would be a treat!

Directions

Blend on high until ingredients are mixed well. Note: This will be frothy and smooth, not thick and creamy.

Pour and serve. I like to top with fresh mint leaves. Enjoy!

This has been perfect for today’s cold weather. Let me know if you decide to give it a try yourself!

A note on maca powder or cacao powder: make sure the only ingredient on the bag is “maca powder” or “cacao powder”. Sometimes sneaky ingredients like “sugar” will find their way into your ingredients, and this isn’t where sugar belongs. 🙂

-Stacey

Also note: this isn’t a miracle smoothie that will solve all your hormone troubles. It’s ultimately up to you to eat a balanced diet consistently from whole food sources under the direction of a doctor or a registered dietitian, and I am neither.

Is this the fastest year ever for anyone else? Just me? It’s flying by in a hurry!

I realized today that it has been five whole years since my ulcerative colitis diagnosis– woo! So much has changed in the last five years, and today I’m making a post about five obstacles that I have overcome and you can, too! But first, here’s a timeline of all the significant moments of life in and around an ulcerative colitis diagnosis:

-September 2012: Began experiencing severe symptoms (x-rated version: bloody stools 30x daily, loss of appetite, quick weight loss, fatigue, night sweats) -October 2012: Diagnosed with “moderate to severe ulcerative colitis”- began remicade infusions, pain medications, steroids, and mesalamines to get symptoms under control-January 2013: Tried stopping all medications and healing with holistic approach (without doctor’s permission) Stupid, stupid, stupid-April 2013: Hospital stay for dehydration due to symptoms; back on remicade infusions every 8 weeks with steroids. Decided to stop eating red meat, fried food, processed meats, and cheese-December 2013: GRADUATED from The University of Texas at Austin, despite pleas from family to take a medical leave of absence. My GPA even improved after a diagnosis.-March 2014: First post-grad job, a night shift at a Houston hospital. Here is where I learned that I did not want to be a nurse but instead decided to pursue dietetics. I declined my acceptance to a post-bachelor’s nursing program and began scoping out dietetics programs.-June 2014: 2nd colonoscopy revealed active and increased inflammation; diagnosis modified to “Crohn’s disease”; removed from night shift schedule and increased dosage of steroids-March 2015: Registered to run first half-marathon and fundraise for cures to Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis; began talking publicly on social media about disease and realized that I could help encourage people through my journey with a challenging diagnosis. -July 2015: Completed first half-marathon in Sonoma, California after fundraising over $3,900 for Crohn’s and UC research-February 2016: Completed second half-marathon in New Orleans after fundraising over $2,500 for Crohn’s and UC research-May 2016: OFF STEROIDS! -July 2016: ENGAGED! -August-December 2016: “Is remicade working?”-January 2017: WEDDING!-February 2017: 3rd colonoscopy confirms “ulcerative colitis” diagnosis, but with significantly less inflammation-May 2017: REMISSION! -October 2017: 5 years of ulcerative colitis diagnosis

Much has happened in the last five years, and I get bummed when I live through an experience and think, “why didn’t anyone tell me about this?!” which is why I [probably] tend to overshare on social media. I believe that leaning into the vulnerability of real life challenges and sharing the experience with others helps create a community of empowerment. My life isn’t filled with bright, celestial light and like-it-to-know it worthy outfits (currently sporting dirty high-top converse and yoga pants); my life is peaks and valleys, a balancing act of chasing chocolate chip cookies with probiotic green juice and just trying to stay the eff in remission while I navigate life as a normal twenty-something year old newlywed while remaining a girl boss in organic chemistry. Life is too much to pretend that it’s instaperfect.

Okay, I’ll stop rambling. Here’s five obstacles that I have overcome with ulcerative colitis:

1. Fear of pain. I remember freaking out as a child every time my mom would take me to the dentist, “Will it hurt?!” Grown ass adults still ask me this about colonoscopies (No, Debra, you’ll be fine). I honestly go into procedures/infusions now knowing that at some point I WILL feel discomfort, possibly even pain, and I don’t even care. Pain is temporary, even if it doesn’t feel that way. P.S. The most painful part of the infusion is the end, when the nurse takes the tape off. Think of it as a nice little wax job.
And the most painful part of ulcerative colitis is having ulcerative colitis symptoms.

2. Fear of needles. Before UC, I would get so nervous to have by blood drawn annually at my physical check-up. One time I almost passed out. But I realized quickly that I would be seeing a lot of needles after my diagnosis, and I needed to woman-up and get brave. Now I can look at needles all day long- no problem. I don’t even care if the nurse has to try four times before hitting a vein, that looks like hard work anyway.Pro tip: If you ARE afraid of needles, don’t look at the needle when your nurse is trying to thread it, because this triggers a fight-or-fight response from your sympathetic nervous system and your veins vasoconstrict, making life more difficult for you AND your nurse. Also be sure to hydrate well the day BEFORE a procedure so your veins are happy, plump and hydrated.

3. Being my own advocate. If you know me, you know that I have a soft, almost mousy voice, AND I have a resting nice face which means that everyone smiles at me all.the.time. and strangers frequently strike up a conversation, like we’re old friends. My naturally semi-extroverted self is happy with these encounters, but because I LOOK so.damn.friendly. it’s a real challenge for people to take me seriously. When the nurse says “let me check on the order for your medication” I take notes of who I spoke to, when I spoke to them, and then I call back later that day to make sure that homegirl actually checked on the order as promised. People get busy and forget, but my body isn’t going to forget that it needs an infusion to function. If I show up to an infusion appointment only to find out that an order had never been written and insurance had never been contacted for prior-authorization, I WILL craft an email to the head of the infusion center, call my doctor, or show up with an order ready for him to fill out and sign. Whatever it takes, I leave my dignity at the door, and I fight. It’s too easy to get lost in our American Healthcare System, so go to bat for yourself. Take good notes, talk to understanding people, and make your case sound.

4. Hair loss. Many, many people experience hair loss; it’s just part of life. I could write an entire post dedicated to “How to make your hair healthy after you’ve been REALLY nutrient depleted and it thins and falls out and breaks off in clumps and makes you cry really hard in the shower but it’s going to be okay, Stacey- IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. YOU’RE OKAY.” Honestly, hair loss was a tough little challenge for me, and friends and family members were so kind about it “I can hardly notice”. My older sister bought me expensive, old man hair growth shampoo- bless her. But to me, hair loss was an outward expression of how desperately unhealthy I was on the inside, and it was hard to wash my hair knowing that I had balding spots, and I could feel it thinning by the handful. In retrospect, it could’ve been so much worse. I wasn’t bald! Let’s review:

Ten months before UC diagnosisOne year after my diagnosis. I started parting my hair on the opposite side and got bangs to hide a bald spot. It worked!Three years post-diagnosis. I remember loving this picture because my hair looked like it was growing, even though it was wispy and thin compared to before my diagnosis, I knew I was getting much healthier!Five years post-diagnosis. I’ve never been this healthy, and I think my hair agrees. *flips hair*

5. Health is comprehensive. Being healthy has been another challenge, but I FINALLY feel like I’m getting it down. In college I stressed and slaved so hard over science courses to get into nursing school, and I sacrificed quality sleep and my diet suffered (but isn’t that the tale of so many college students?) Post-grad I learned that I felt better when I was physically active, and I started sleeping more. I now feel like I’m balancing sleep, productivity, physical movement, spirituality, and time with people I love much better, and each facet is an integral part of overall health. Taking care of myself is getting easier. Three cheers for adulting!

If you’re dealing with a diagnosis, managing a disease, or you just feel like you have a one-way ticket to Struggle City, USA, know that I’m here to help you feel like you’re doing a thing, and you’re doing it better than you think. Life is a continuum of learning, and if we can manage to learn together…well, I’d say we’re doing something right.

5 years, 40 pounds, and a crap ton of life lessons in between. Pun intended…

Here’s to five years of learning and living! Hope your day is a good one! 🙂

Hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was spent with family in Texas. It seems like I’ve been making lots of trips to Texas lately…

We watched the Astros win against the Dodgers on Friday night, then we woke up early Saturday morning to colder weather for the Texas Exes tailgate before the Baylor vs. Texas game, but more importantly, we ate BREAKFAST TACOS!

The tortillas were sub-par, so I ended up eating heaping forkfuls of egg, pico, salsa, and potato sans tortilla. The pico and the salsa were so great, and the fruit was fresh and made for a delicious breakfast. A cup of coffee later and we were ready for the game!

Zack, my mother-in-law, and I sat next to the Longhorn HellRaisers, and they gladly obliged when we asked to take a photo together. Guess it was good luck, because we had a Longhorn victory! Hook ’em!

The rest of Saturday was spent alternating between naps and more football on tv, Tex-Mex (for the love of tamales), and wrapped up with some baseball. Today we headed back to OKC, but we spent a good amount of time sitting in traffic in Fort Worth.

“OH MY GOSH THE BLUE ANGELS!” I yelled, jokingly. But then I quickly realized that the jet pilots really knew what they were doing and sure enough…the BLUE ANGELS were in town for an airshow this weekend! We pulled over to watch the conclusion of their show amongst hundreds of other spectators in their cars, and it was nothing short of magnificent and a complete, flawless display of badassery. I couldn’t get a single good photo, but this is the best I could do:

We are hoping to make the trip up to Chicago (maybe next year) to see their show through the city.

They were so, SO talented. HOW do these guys fly 40 feet from the ground, accelerate until barely visible, high into the sky, all within a few seconds and just a few feet away from other jets? And how do they have enough spacial recognition to choreograph the whole show? Just so cool, really. Just. cool.

We returned home to a COLD house, and Jax quickly figured out the greatness that is the space heater. Glad to be home- I’ve got a week of organic chemistry to tackle!

Today’s post is going to be some real life. Real, raw, unfiltered life.

Being in my twenties gives me a sense of deja vu. I feel like I’ve been here before, struggling to fit in and make friends…oh wait. I have been here before. It was in junior high, and I couldn’t find my way. I feel that today I am in a very similar situation, except without braces, about a foot taller, and also (thankfully) fully equipped with knowledge of how to apply mascara in desperate situations.

For clarification: I don’t live here, but I’m sure I’d fit in by The Bay 😉

One day a coworker straight up told me, “You don’t fit in here! You belong somewhere Earthy and outside, like Austin.” Although she used a nice tone of voice and many people would perceive this as “wow how rude”- I felt in that moment that I could exhale. Here I was in a town that is completely strange to me, living in a state that I would have never hand-picked for myself, sitting at a bright orange table in a taco fast food joint trying to convince myself that I was satisfied by the dry iceberg lettuce that I was chasing down with water amongst coworkers that read me like a book. I was trying SO HARD to just blend…just be my normal, nice self…and even that wasn’t enough. Homegirl was right; I don’t belong here, and that’s okay. I belong somewhere!

While this may sound like a rager of a pity party; it’s not. I’m really looking forward to finding the place, the job, the people, wherever that is, that I do belong to, and I hope they’re ready for me. Change is hard, and often we forget to discuss the gaps that get us to our destination. If there’s anything you get from my blog, I hope you know that you have found a very genuine, raw, unfiltered, vulnerable, girlboss that also stunt doubles for the struggle bus. Sometimes I’m rockin’ and rollin’ and other times I’m drinking beer for breakfast only because I ate all of the cookie dough the night before.

But if we don’t take time to talk through our struggles with our community, then we are wasting our time pretending that everything is alright. Life is peaks and valleys, people…and normally it’s the climb that makes it all worth it. But how do we help people up if we don’t acknowledge the beautiful (ugly?) reality of our struggle?

So here I am, acknowledging my struggle. I don’t fit in here, in this town. I’ve lived here for ten months, and I don’t have any close friends (yet)…but I’m even closer with my hometown friends because they’re truly the best. I just quit a job that I didn’t enjoy because sometimes people, as much as we love them, just suck so hard. I cried while I sat in line to get the oil in my car changed today. Today may look like a royal shitshow, but I’m going to make the most of the time while I am here, because bad days are all part of a really great life.

If you’re struggling to fit in wherever you are in life, know that you have a solidarity sister (it’s ya girl! hayyyy!). Also recognize that so much of life is fleeting, ever-changing. Take note of where you are, because better things are coming. If you are in a situation that feels all wrong to you, honor yourself with your decisions. Leave the job, ditch the boyfriend, buy a new puppy. Fuel your soul. You’re so much more than your current situation, and I can’t wait to see where you find your place.

I drove to my hometown near Houston, TX for an impromptu visit this weekend. My dad was in the hospital fighting an unknown bacterial infection in his pinky bone. A couple surgeries and a lot of antibiotics later, the pinky is saved! Hopefully he will be released sometime this week, but infectious disease is keeping a close eye to ensure the infection is contained without spreading throughout his body.

He was in good spirits, especially after his Astros beat the Yankees to win the pennant! He cried real, happy tears. If you’ve been an Astros fan for your entire life, I’m sure you understand- so many feels.

View from Dad’s window- Houston has been through too much this year thanks to Hurricane Harvey. So proud to come from this strong, diverse, vibrant community.

I love the Texas Medical Center- I’ve been a patient here, I’ve worked here, and I’ve volunteered here. There’s no place like it. Truly.

We stopped by Pronto’s on Holcomb Blvd for chopped salad with salmon, one of my all time favorites by the med center. I also got a piece of tiramisu, and I highly recommend.

Then we popped over to a hometown football game to watch my cousin’s homecoming halftime show performance (how cute is she though?!). LOVE small-town football!

The next morning my sister and I went through old boxes of keepsakes in the garage that my parents stored from our childhood. My mom wanted us to go through everything and decide what to keep…still not sure why…but it was entertaining. I learned that I am not particularly a sentimental hoarder about most things, but I did fall victim to Barbie nostalgia. Not pictured: Scuba Barbie, Shaving Ken, and Dentist Barbie.

Then we found this quaint little spot right behind my old high school for lunch. WHY did places like this not exist ten years ago?! 421 Coffeehouse was fantastic.

If you ever find yourself in West Columbia, TX, stop by this place! Their chicken salad was divine.

I stopped by my older sister’s salon to wish her a happy birthday and updated her pricing board for her:

And then we drove back to Houston to hang out with Dad some more. Sunday morning we began the long drive back to Oklahoma City. Oh- CHECK OUT MY COPILOT:

Her name is Sophie. She’s 11 weeks old, loves to play fetch and cuddle, and I want to hold her every day. She’s my sister’s dog, and she did fantastic on her first long road trip!

This morning I caught up on some (much needed) sleep and managed to whip up a mint-chocolate chip smoothie. I actually used some vanilla pea protein from Trader Joe’s for this recipe that was VERY affordable (but not my very favorite taste). Honestly, you’ll appreciate this recipe much more if you use some sort of chocolate-flavored protein. Because of all the nutritious ingredients like frozen cauliflower and frozen avocado (fear not- these are tasteless additions, I promise!), I was quite full after this smoothie.

I’m here to talk to you about something so absurdly unimportant, but still I hope it somehow resonates with you.

The scale. And that bitch is everywhere from the bathroom floor to the bedroom, from the doctor’s office to the gym. *to the windowwww, to the wall, to the wall*

Three pounds down? You have an instant confidence boost, but just two pounds over? Now begins the self-shaming.
“I shouldn’t have had those four margaritas.” <- that’s actually probably true, Sandra, but you knew that before the negative self talk on the scale, now didn’t you?

If your scale has that kind of affect on you, dump the bitch. You heard me. Get rid of it and start fresh. You are so much more than whatever a cheap box on the floor says you weigh. And don’t get me started on fluctuations- if your dinner is too salty or carb-rich, you’ll weigh a bit more the next morning because salty meals make our bodies retain water. Your weight will fluctuate throughout the day, too, depending on diet, water intake, medications, or activity level (one-five pounds in a day, give or take, is COMPLETELY normal!).

I personally do not own a scale, even though I am an ulcerative colitis patient who experiences massive weight fluctuations at times. When I was diagnosed, I weighed 102 lb., which was far too low for me. In college before my diagnosis, my consistent weight hovered around 128-133 lb. Now my weight is even higher (140s?). I started weighing myself at the gym “I gained seven pounds!” and then I’d have to talk myself down, “Stacey, you can run several miles. You are strong. You are healthy. Don’t listen to the scale.” So rather than spending my own energy on the mental turmoil that I allowed a stupid scale to inflict on my psyche, I decided to just stop weighing myself altogether. Not for me. When I go to the doctor and the sweet nurse says, “140” or “146” I am thankful. I know what I can do. I know how strong I am. I know the crap that I’ve overcome, and all that means much more than a fickle little number on a scale. I try to focus how I feel, how I’m a focused little organic chemist of a grad student, what I’m working toward, what kind of great food I’m eating (salsa, always with a side of salsa), how great my jeans fit. So many non-scale victories!

FYI, if you’re wondering why we even use scales at all:
Doctors use body weight to determine if you fall within a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index), and chances are that if you’re a swole athlete (because muscle weighs more than fat), your BMI will be a little high because it measures excess weight, NOT excess body fat. BMI also doesn’t take age, sex, or ethnicity into proper account (source). Note: Healthy goals are vitally important, and I’ll touch on other ways to reach these in a post soon 🙂

The moral of the story is to refuse to allow a silly, fluctuating number to define any part of your worth. You are smart, you are kind, you are hard-working, you are a friend, a mother (or father!), a sister (or brother!). You are here, and every other physical sensation, including your weight, is ever-changing…but you are constant, now, present, powerful. You are worthy. Don’t allow your significance to yourself and the world to be compromised by a number. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! Go live your truth.

Hope your Thursday is a good one 🙂

Stacey

If you REALLY want to know where your health stands metabolically, request a body fat evaluation or a DEXA scan to evaluate your bone mineral density.