Alarm Clock Feels Bad Going Off So Early

COLUMBUS, OH - Saying it felt "absolutely awful" about it, student Kelsey Simpson's alarm clock expressed guilt and displeasure over having the uncomfortable responsibility of waking up its owner at such an early hour every Monday. "Kelsey always sets me at 6 AM on Sunday nights, and it's like, why? Do you really want me to do that to you?"

The white iHome also felt uncomfortable about the music choice. "And do you really want to wake up to 'Ho Hey' by the Lumineers every, and I mean EVERY, morning? It's good, but soon you're gonna hate it if you keep waking up to it. Just trust me." According to her roommates, Kelsey does always wake up to 'Ho Hey.'

"I just don't wanna make you hate it," added the combination iPhone/iPod charger and clock radio. "I understand that you want to get your classes over with or whatever, but don't drag me into it," the inanimate, digital time-keeping device continued. "I don't know, I'm probably just not gonna go off this time."