If it was your child...

I have to admit I thought long and hard about this today. I hummed and hawed to myself whether it would be worth the backlash, and well here I am. I'm not sure how many of you know me or remember me, but I've been here since nearly the beginning. I was an avid participant on this board in many threads. As time went on I found myself feeling hurt, or frustrated, or even generally excluded from many of the topics and discussions. This could have been pregnancy hormones... mostly likely was, come to think of it, but those feelings were real to me.

So I became a lurker, too afraid to post my comments for fear someone would be praying for my unborn child, or contacting CPS. Well I can't sit here in silence any longer. I think we can all agree that the loss of Baby Grant made us all think of our own precious children and what it might be like to lose a child. I can't say how many times I looked at my little Sophie and became teary eyed at the thought of anything ever happening to her.

So it was made clear on this board at least, that today was a day of mourning. A day to think about the Aug family, their loss, and to spend the time you may otherwise use to look at posts from friends, or ask questions about rashes and sleeping patterns, with your loved ones. In memory of this sweet angel baby, our WTE time might be better spent with our children.

*deep breath*

I am truly surprised at how many posts there were today. I freely admit I bumped the reminders, but I couldn't believe people were actually posting about their own personal issues and problems. These weren't newbies or lurkers either...

Imagine Grant Aug was YOUR child. Would we even have to ask for a day of silence? How would you feel?

I couldn't let this go ladies, and I'll step back into lurker territory now... holding my baby girl tighter and closer to my heart for as long as she'll let me.

I have to admit I thought long and hard about this today. I hummed and hawed to myself whether it would be worth the backlash, and well here I am. I'm not sure how many of you know me or remember me, but I've been here since nearly the beginning. I was an avid participant on this board in many threads. As time went on I found myself feeling hurt, or frustrated, or even generally excluded from many of the topics and discussions. This could have been pregnancy hormones... mostly likely was, come to think of it, but those feelings were real to me.

So I became a lurker, too afraid to post my comments for fear someone would be praying for my unborn child, or contacting CPS. Well I can't sit here in silence any longer. I think we can all agree that the loss of Baby Grant made us all think of our own precious children and what it might be like to lose a child. I can't say how many times I looked at my little Sophie and became teary eyed at the thought of anything ever happening to her.

So it was made clear on this board at least, that today was a day of mourning. A day to think about the Aug family, their loss, and to spend the time you may otherwise use to look at posts from friends, or ask questions about rashes and sleeping patterns, with your loved ones. In memory of this sweet angel baby, our WTE time might be better spent with our children.

*deep breath*

I am truly surprised at how many posts there were today. I freely admit I bumped the reminders, but I couldn't believe people were actually posting about their own personal issues and problems. These weren't newbies or lurkers either...

Imagine Grant Aug was YOUR child. Would we even have to ask for a day of silence? How would you feel?

I couldn't let this go ladies, and I'll step back into lurker territory now... holding my baby girl tighter and closer to my heart for as long as she'll let me.

I am surprised that you have not felt comfortable to post in many months but chose to make a post passing judgment about how some individuals chose to mourn or not mourn. How did you know that there were posts at all? Hmmm logging in is ok but posting not - I see is how you view it. Is bumping a post yesterday not posting and therefor breaking your day of silence? Talking on Facebook is ok but talking on WTE - the site where each of us got to meet Grant is not?

I think mourning is a very personal thing and although public dedications are meaningful to some - for others they much prefer the opportunity to do so alone. There is no right or wrong way to mourn. I really don`t think the Ang family specifically asked that no one speak on WTE for an entire day. If I remember correctly they asked us to hug our babies really tight since they can`t hold theirs. We all love our babies and are certainly reminded when tragic things happen to others just how much we do. Please do not judge how individuals choose to connect with others - WTE has been a source of great solidarity for many families and one day does not change that.

Hello Mr. Pot please meet Mr. Black ...

I am surprised that you have not felt comfortable to post in many months but chose to make a post passing judgment about how some individuals chose to mourn or not mourn. How did you know that there were posts at all? Hmmm logging in is ok but posting not - I see is how you view it. Is bumping a post yesterday not posting and therefor breaking your day of silence? Talking on Facebook is ok but talking on WTE - the site where each of us got to meet Grant is not?

I think mourning is a very personal thing and although public dedications are meaningful to some - for others they much prefer the opportunity to do so alone. There is no right or wrong way to mourn. I really don`t think the Ang family specifically asked that no one speak on WTE for an entire day. If I remember correctly they asked us to hug our babies really tight since they can`t hold theirs. We all love our babies and are certainly reminded when tragic things happen to others just how much we do. Please do not judge how individuals choose to connect with others - WTE has been a source of great solidarity for many families and one day does not change that.

Yes, I agree with sweets and previous posters. On second thought, Grants parents really wouldn't want this, but I still wanted to acknowlegge posts. So thanks girls, you're totally right... it irked me, but in the end I just need to let it go. I let things bug me sometimes, I'm quirky like that. ;-)

As far as the pot thing goes, I know, but you're taking your life into your own hands if you want to talk like that around here. People have some pretty passionate views on it and I would love to have at it on the Hot Topics board if you're so inclined (you specifically Clara ;-)) Either way, I was NOT a pothead during my pregnancy or now for that matter. I just want to make that CLEAR!

Yes, I agree with sweets and previous posters. On second thought, Grants parents really wouldn't want this, but I still wanted to acknowlegge posts. So thanks girls, you're totally right... it irked me, but in the end I just need to let it go. I let things bug me sometimes, I'm quirky like that. ;-)

As far as the pot thing goes, I know, but you're taking your life into your own hands if you want to talk like that around here. People have some pretty passionate views on it and I would love to have at it on the Hot Topics board if you're so inclined (you specifically Clara ;-)) Either way, I was NOT a pothead during my pregnancy or now for that matter. I just want to make that CLEAR!

I also bumped a silence post to try to let people know what was going on. I figured maybe they didn't understand that it was a no posting day. But as PP have said, maybe it wasn't clear enough.I didn't understand about the facebook silence either so I may have posted on facebook during that, I'm not sure. It was a bit confusing for me because of the time zones.I think you have balls to come out and say what you have because it did irritate me too. But then now having read the replies I understand that maybe people didn't realise - although I do think some did, people who have been given a lot of support over the months.

I'm sorry you feel set upon sometimes. I do remember you from 'the old days' lol. I hope you don't decide not to post anymore, I think it's refreshing when someone speaks their mind - you didn't mention names which you could have done so noone can feel attacked.

I also bumped a silence post to try to let people know what was going on. I figured maybe they didn't understand that it was a no posting day. But as PP have said, maybe it wasn't clear enough.I didn't understand about the facebook silence either so I may have posted on facebook during that, I'm not sure. It was a bit confusing for me because of the time zones.I think you have balls to come out and say what you have because it did irritate me too. But then now having read the replies I understand that maybe people didn't realise - although I do think some did, people who have been given a lot of support over the months.

I'm sorry you feel set upon sometimes. I do remember you from 'the old days' lol. I hope you don't decide not to post anymore, I think it's refreshing when someone speaks their mind - you didn't mention names which you could have done so noone can feel attacked.

I don't believe this is a pot calling the kettle black situation... I'm speaking from my heart... which is something that I don't generally doing with people who don't give a flying monkey crap about me or my life. As one poster said, I don't know you people, you don't know me, I need to let things roll of my back a little. So I'm sorry that you feel I am being hypocritical, but if you look at my bumps, I didn't say anything in them.

I personally didn't know enough about the Facebook thing to participate, so I didn't. These are my feelings on the situation, I apologize if you are offended that I may be judging someone. I also found the subjects of most of the posts interesting. *smile*

I don't believe this is a pot calling the kettle black situation... I'm speaking from my heart... which is something that I don't generally doing with people who don't give a flying monkey crap about me or my life. As one poster said, I don't know you people, you don't know me, I need to let things roll of my back a little. So I'm sorry that you feel I am being hypocritical, but if you look at my bumps, I didn't say anything in them.

I personally didn't know enough about the Facebook thing to participate, so I didn't. These are my feelings on the situation, I apologize if you are offended that I may be judging someone. I also found the subjects of most of the posts interesting. *smile*

Okay, This is going to come off more rude than I intend, but its the only way I can really put it...The Aug family's request was to hold our babies while they couldn't hold theirs. A passing of a baby is, in my opinion, the most tragic thing in the world, and I think the moment of silence was a great idea.However, I think you have spent a little too much time worrying about what other people are doing. It is quite obvious as we are all mothers on this board that nobody would mean any disrespect to a baby that has passed on. It was a sad day for all of us.So, maybe a little more time should be spent honoring the request of the Aug family, and holding your daughter, than worrying about the actions of some women online.

Okay, This is going to come off more rude than I intend, but its the only way I can really put it...The Aug family's request was to hold our babies while they couldn't hold theirs. A passing of a baby is, in my opinion, the most tragic thing in the world, and I think the moment of silence was a great idea.However, I think you have spent a little too much time worrying about what other people are doing. It is quite obvious as we are all mothers on this board that nobody would mean any disrespect to a baby that has passed on. It was a sad day for all of us.So, maybe a little more time should be spent honoring the request of the Aug family, and holding your daughter, than worrying about the actions of some women online.

who cares if (and im not saying you did) you smoked pot when pregnant? Its your body, your child, your decision. Don't let anyone make you second guess your decisions when it comes to YOUR life. There are many women on the boards who dont "follow" the pregnancy "guidelines". And thats just what they are, Guidelines, not laws. Obviously your child is fine and so are you.

who cares if (and im not saying you did) you smoked pot when pregnant? Its your body, your child, your decision. Don't let anyone make you second guess your decisions when it comes to YOUR life. There are many women on the boards who dont "follow" the pregnancy "guidelines". And thats just what they are, Guidelines, not laws. Obviously your child is fine and so are you.

I agree. I don't come on very often myself. and hadn't been on the day before. On Friday morning I came to work, checked my email and saw people had replied to my posts, I clicked the links and it popped open the discussion. Not the whole Nov08 page, once I posted and it went to the page I noticed and was reminded on the day of silence.

Once I did post I felt horrible, and I too was upset at the baby Grant situation, I cry thinking about it and how it could be Ryan, but in no way was any posting done as a disrespect for him or his family. No one should be put down for posting, everyone grieves differently.

I agree. I don't come on very often myself. and hadn't been on the day before. On Friday morning I came to work, checked my email and saw people had replied to my posts, I clicked the links and it popped open the discussion. Not the whole Nov08 page, once I posted and it went to the page I noticed and was reminded on the day of silence.

Once I did post I felt horrible, and I too was upset at the baby Grant situation, I cry thinking about it and how it could be Ryan, but in no way was any posting done as a disrespect for him or his family. No one should be put down for posting, everyone grieves differently.

I felt really bad b/c I DID post first thing in the morning, not thinking about it. Then Lauren (rencole) IMed me and reminded me (right after I got to the first reminder post and went "oh crap!") and I completely stayed off the rest of the day. So, I really do apologize to everyone for posting in the morning, but I didn't even get on and check again until past midnight, so hopefully I stilled showed my respect :)

I felt really bad b/c I DID post first thing in the morning, not thinking about it. Then Lauren (rencole) IMed me and reminded me (right after I got to the first reminder post and went "oh crap!") and I completely stayed off the rest of the day. So, I really do apologize to everyone for posting in the morning, but I didn't even get on and check again until past midnight, so hopefully I stilled showed my respect :)

You know I too was a bit irritated but I can now see how someone could get confused. After being sniped at for stating such opinion of facebook it made me realize my comments as well as everyone else's were just taking the focus off of baby Grant.

I hope we can all just move past this and not take it somewhere it was never meant to go. I'm sure the Aug family wouldn't want us getting snippy with each other over this.

SO as they said... lets hug our cuties REALLY tight and remember the reason we even bother with this site is b/c we care so much about them.

As far as you go lady, I do remember you and I hope you come out from lurking :)

You know I too was a bit irritated but I can now see how someone could get confused. After being sniped at for stating such opinion of facebook it made me realize my comments as well as everyone else's were just taking the focus off of baby Grant.

I hope we can all just move past this and not take it somewhere it was never meant to go. I'm sure the Aug family wouldn't want us getting snippy with each other over this.

SO as they said... lets hug our cuties REALLY tight and remember the reason we even bother with this site is b/c we care so much about them.

As far as you go lady, I do remember you and I hope you come out from lurking :)

Yeah, it got pretty nasty, and I only remember because I had this weird adrenaline thing running through my body after a bunch of the posts. You know when you were a kid and knowingly stepped out of line with your parents or finally confronted a bully at school? I was shaky like that... it freaked me out, and didn't think it was the best thing for my baby to be getting this crazy adrenaline spikes.

I think having this many women in any kind of room is a crazy idea, nevermind pregnant women... hormones make you say and do silly things. lol

Yeah, it got pretty nasty, and I only remember because I had this weird adrenaline thing running through my body after a bunch of the posts. You know when you were a kid and knowingly stepped out of line with your parents or finally confronted a bully at school? I was shaky like that... it freaked me out, and didn't think it was the best thing for my baby to be getting this crazy adrenaline spikes.

I think having this many women in any kind of room is a crazy idea, nevermind pregnant women... hormones make you say and do silly things. lol

I'm sorry, I must be feeling punchy today b/c that response upsets me. It bothered me when Jean posted hers, and I tried to let it roll off. But SERIOUSLY, if some WTE moms are going to biotch about something that other WTE moms have done, the accused should be allowed to defend themselves without being told to shut up or that they're further taking away from the issue, especially when they didn't even know they'd done anything "wrong." No, you didn't use the specific words "shut up," but that's been the general message, and it pisses me off.

I'm sorry, I must be feeling punchy today b/c that response upsets me. It bothered me when Jean posted hers, and I tried to let it roll off. But SERIOUSLY, if some WTE moms are going to biotch about something that other WTE moms have done, the accused should be allowed to defend themselves without being told to shut up or that they're further taking away from the issue, especially when they didn't even know they'd done anything "wrong." No, you didn't use the specific words "shut up," but that's been the general message, and it pisses me off.

I just want to say I'm really sorry you were hurt by my opinion on Facebook yesterday. It was definitely not my intention to be "harsh" just truly how I felt. I can see where there were inconsistencies and as Jean stated it's easy to let our emotions get to us in this kind of situation. I hope you don't harbor any ill feelings against me for stating my opinion as I have always valued your posts on this board.

I just want to say I'm really sorry you were hurt by my opinion on Facebook yesterday. It was definitely not my intention to be "harsh" just truly how I felt. I can see where there were inconsistencies and as Jean stated it's easy to let our emotions get to us in this kind of situation. I hope you don't harbor any ill feelings against me for stating my opinion as I have always valued your posts on this board.

Well, my views exactly. Unfortunately, some people don't see it that way. Whether it's from a legal standpoint, or morally, or otherwise, this issue seems to stir up a lot of very raw emotions in people. In the end how we care for our children and care for ourselves is our own business, no one elses.

I say if it's not hurting you or anyone around you, and you can sleep with yourself at night, have at it. Life is short.

Well, my views exactly. Unfortunately, some people don't see it that way. Whether it's from a legal standpoint, or morally, or otherwise, this issue seems to stir up a lot of very raw emotions in people. In the end how we care for our children and care for ourselves is our own business, no one elses.

I say if it's not hurting you or anyone around you, and you can sleep with yourself at night, have at it. Life is short.

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