What the What Now?

A handful of moms and gay men watched 17-year-old Teresa Scanlan of Nebraska get crowned Miss America on Saturday night, but the real star of the show was Miss Arkansas Alyse Eady. Her talent was ventriloquist yodeling. Ventriloquist. Yodeling. It’s surreal to see someone so attractive be so good at something so weird. I think I’m actually a little aroused by this. Of course, I’ve always had a thing for puppets.