santa claus

In Norway, Santa Claus is a giant man who eats children and is hunted during the month of December for his tender soft flesh and warm pelt. He hides in the mountains during the off season and waits for Christmas to come when he unleashes hell on all the little boys and girls.

As it turns out, the real Santa (played by Jewish wrestler Bill Goldberg) isn't the bringer of good cheer as the legends claim, but rather the son of Satan. Having lost a bet to an angel a thousand years ago (a Curling bet, no less) Santa has been forced to bring presents and merriment to the people of the world every year on Christmas. The year is now 2005, exactly 1,000 years since the bet was made, and it's time for Santa to finally bring down the reign of terror he has been waiting a millennia for.