Friday, February 6, 2015

Cry me an electrified atmospheric river, please

A rabbit's eye view of Mizuna growing under a shade cloth

Envious onions lust after straw mulch

When I was a kid, back in the last century, there was no such thing as an atmospheric river. What we had then were big storms and such. We even had warm storms coming up out of the tropics once in a great while. If someone had said "atmospheric river" or "El Nino" back then they would have received a blank stare in return, at least that's how it was in Stockton, where I was fortunate enough to have grown into adulthood. But that was then. Now I'm a grown-up and am in the midst of enduring my second atmospheric river in one year! And this one is flowing along dropping off lightning bolts here and there, which I didn't hear any of our weather forecasters predicting. Ha! So since I'm the first to notice, I hereby call such a storm "an electrified atmospheric river." This should be picked up by all the weather talking heads, who will start pronouncing it and not even think a second thought about the name. Why should they? If it appears on the tele-prompter, they say it!! Who's in charge of those tele-prompters, anyway? Sounds like a good job for a subversive progressive liberal. But I like farming too much for a career switch. Anyway, it sounds like one would have to spend a lot of time looking at stuff on a monitor for that job. Then figuring out how to tweak the stuff on the teleprompter to subtlety reflect the progressive, liberal outlook would take creativity. Plus you'd be thwarting the ultraconservative owners of the media, who are so very busy trying to do the same thing, only in the opposite direction. (As an aside, it looks like they are winning.) A labor of love for sure, regardless of what side you are on. Nevertheless, I think a higher call might be growing wonderful, organic vegetables! Like that Mizuna you see growing under shade cloth above, or the leeks lounging in a bed of straw. In fact, time to get back to reality: I've got some stainless steel mixing bowls to fasten to the tops of posts! Part of my great secret plan to channel Marxian spirits into my soil.