Posted!

Join the Conversation

Comments

Welcome to our new and improved comments, which are for subscribers only.
This is a test to see whether we can improve the experience for you.
You do not need a Facebook profile to participate.

You will need to register before adding a comment.
Typed comments will be lost if you are not logged in.

Please be polite.
It's OK to disagree with someone's ideas, but personal attacks, insults, threats, hate speech, advocating violence and other violations can result in a ban.
If you see comments in violation of our community guidelines, please report them.

Waking life: Discover the myths, danger signs and steps to help prevent suicide in the LGBTQ community

“Her attempted suicide was just a ploy to get attention; if we just ignore it, she won’t try again.”

These statements are widely believed and they are dangerously wrong. There are so many misconceptions about suicide that interfere with and prevent professional treatment from being accessed. Many depressed and/or suicidal people could be helped if someone near to them knew the facts about suicide, recognized the warning signs, and took appropriate action.

Attempted suicide rates are considerably higher among LGBTQ populations than among heterosexual/gender-conforming populations. For LGBTQ adolescents and adults, rejection related to sexual orientation, gender discrimination and victimization have been shown to be associated with suicidal ideation and behavior. The 2014 Riverside County Dept. of Public Health LGBT Health & Wellness Profile reported that California LGBTQ adults, age 18 and older, seriously thought about suicide at rates two- and-a-half to four times higher than their heterosexual counterparts. In the 2015 Inland Empire Transgender Health & Wellness Profile, 75 percent of respondents answered “yes” to the question, “Have you ever seriously considered committing suicide?” Six percent of the general population responded with “yes.”

Depression, alcohol abuse, peer victimization, physical abuse, and other social-environmental factors such as a lack of same-sex couples living in an area, unsupportive voting patterns, lack of schools with gay-straight alliances, and lack of anti-bullying policies that protect LGBT students all have been seen to increase the likelihood of suicide behavior among LGBT youth and adults. Political outreach, educational prevention programs, and access to mental health services are crucial if we are to effectively address this issue in our community.

Below is some basic information that dispels the myths of suicide, identifies danger signals, and helps you help those who may be suffering.

UNMASKING THE MYTHS

Myth: “He isn’t that type of person.” There is no “type.” People from all walks of life, ethnicities, ages, socioeconomic statuses, religions, lifestyles and more end their own lives for a myriad of different reasons. If the warning signs are there, so is the danger, regardless of what “type” of person it is.

Myth: “People who talk about suicide won’t do it.” Suicidal people often do talk about their plans, albeit indirectly, disguised as a joke or hinted at with vague comments. Most people who are contemplating suicide are ambivalent, torn between a desire to live and a desire to end the emotional pain. Therefore they want to let others know about it, but are afraid to be direct because they realize that their thoughts are unacceptable to others.

Myth: “Suicide attempts should be ignored to stop attention-seeking behavior.” People often do attempt suicide with no intention to die, but rather to call attention to their problems or state of mind. Suicide attempts are a cry for help and should never be ignored.

Myth: “Only a small number of people kill themselves; it’s a minor problem.” Nearly 30,000 Americans die by suicide annually, making it the 11th leading cause of death. It exists in all segments of society. If you multiply the number of deaths by eight, the average number of people affected by each death, nearly a quarter of a million people are impacted by suicide in the U.S. every year.

Myth: “Teenagers are more likely to die.” The highest rate of suicide is among white males over age 65.

Myth: “Suicide is hereditary.” There is no “suicide gene”. Although family history of suicide is a risk factor, it is associated with modeling and learned behavior, and not a specific gene that has been inherited.

Myth: “Once the crisis is over, the person is out of danger.” Suicide is more likely to occur when a person has regained enough energy to put suicidal thoughts into action.

THE DANGER SIGNS

Any indication that a person is considering suicide should be a call to action, but there are several warning signs that, in combination, increase risk for suicide. They are:

· Giving away prized possession and making arrangements for a final departure;

· Cutting, slashing, self-harming acts;

· Death themes throughout work — morbid obsession with death (writing, art work, etc.);

· Expressions of hopelessness, helplessness, anger at self and the world, along with statements like “No one would miss me” and “I’d be better off dead”;

· Sudden positive behavior change following a long period of depression.

Of course none of these signs is a guaranteed indication that someone is going to die by suicide. Many people are depressed and never end their lives. However, these signs together with other indications may offer important clues. When there are several signs, it is time to act. It is better to be embarrassed by an overreaction than to miss the signs that might have prevented a suicide.

The LGBT Community Center of the Desert's Scott Hines Mental Health Clinic offers counseling to people dealing with depression and other issues.(Photo: File)

WHAT TO DO

A friend has become increasingly aloof. One day he confides in you that he has been thinking that everyone would be better off if he were dead. Then he says, “Sometimes I think about just ending it all, you know, just kill myself and be done with it” and then he quickly adds, “but I know it would be wrong.” He smiles and changes the subject. You are stunned, frightened perhaps, and not sure what to do. Here’s a basic action plan:

1) Believe It. Don’t be misled by the casual presentation, or the belief that this person, your friend, would never do something like that.

2) Talk freely. By talking about his vulnerable feelings, he trusts you to be accepting, nonjudgmental, and willing to listen. Ask questions like: “How long have you felt this way?” “Have you thought about how you would end your life?” “Do you have the means?” Your acceptance and willingness to explore this topic with him may give him hope at a time when hope is what he needs the most. Do not say, “You have it so much better than others; be thankful for what you have.” That comment elicits guilt for feeling suicidal, and is not helpful.

3) Get help. No matter what else you do, make sure this person gets professional help. When any signs of suicide are present, a professional is needed to intervene. Encourage your friend to seek professional mental health services, either through a suicide prevention organization, crisis line, mental health clinic, physician, a licensed psychotherapist, hospital emergency room, outpatient clinic, or clergy/faith/pastoral counselor. Offer to go with your friend to a first appointment as a source of support.

4) Don’t keep it a secret. If your friend refuses to get help, take the initiative and contact family, or call the suicide prevention center or hotline yourself and explain the situation. Refuse to “keep this just between us,” even when your friend insists. Tell your friend that you care too much to keep this secret, instead. A suicidal person may be angry initially that you “betrayed” their secret, but ultimately they likely will be relieved that somebody cared enough to get them to professional help when they weren’t able to do it for themselves.

Old attitudes that treat suicide as taboo must be replaced with an acceptance that suicide is a societal problem that needs to be addressed openly. Preventing suicide, which is a difficult and sensitive matter, requires many different strategies. The truth is that too many people are affected by suicide, but our society has created both stigma and shame around it that prevent folks from getting the help and support they deserve. It’s up to us to help end the silence of suicide, support one another and work together to prevent other suicides.

THE CENTER'S MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC

The Scott Hines Mental Health Clinic @ The Center offers low-cost therapy to the LGBTQ community and its straight allies. Through client-centered, resiliency-focused LGBTQ- affirmative therapy and evidenced-based depression treatment models, we work with clients to help them lead healthier, happier, and more enriched lives. In addition to The Center’s clinic, you can go to www.Up2SD.org for a list of other mental health and suicide-related resources in the area. Suicide can be prevented.

To gain an understanding of how to cope after a suicide, visit www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide. To learn more about the warning signs and risk factors, go to www.suicideispreventable.org.