Most women desire to be irresistible to men. As a result, they spend billions of dollars a year on everything from perfume to lingerie in pursuit of sexiness.

Women also flock to women’s magazines for advice on how to be desirable to men. Unfortunately, most of the tips contained in such magazines were written by women for women — and they don’t necessarily give an accurate take on what men consider irresistibly sexy.

That nice new shade of lipstick, pretty earrings, a designer dress or the latest hair color very rarely turns a man on the way women think they do. Those things are meant to impress other women, not men. And while beauty is a powerful attractant, there are so many other qualities beyond beauty that capture a man’s heart.

If you’re like most people, you probably know at least one woman who isn’t particularly pretty or who doesn’t have a sexy body, but she always seems to attract the most men in any social setting. Men are drawn to her, can’t take their eyes off her — and when they talk to other men about her, they say they can’t quite seem to put a finger on what it is that accounts for her immense sex appeal.

Wouldn’t you want to be THAT kind of woman? Wouldn’t you want to feel what it’s like to be the center of men’s attention wherever you go, or just have the undivided attention of your husband or boyfriend? There are secrets I know that can unlock the heart of a man – and you can use these secrets to bring a man to his knees, and gain an unfair advantage over other women.

If you were to ask a man for his opinion on what’s irresistible to men, first of all, he may or may not give you an honest answer. His answer will depend on several factors, such as whether or not he thinks his answer will ingratiate him to you; whether or not he wants to give you information that you can use to exercise power over him; or a host of other factors.

Additionally, a man may not have the ability to pinpoint exactly what it is about a woman that he finds sexy – he just knows what’s sexy when he sees it. Worst of all, one man’s opinion usually does not represent the opinion of the majority of men – one man may be fixated on breasts, another might be a leg man, and another might have a foot fetish, and so on.

Why should you listen to me, then, when I’m a mere man myself? Here’s why: Not only have I been a Licensed Professional Counselor (L.P.C.), therapist, and relationship coach for 20 years, but I’ve also seen what works and doesn’t work when it comes to male-female communications and romantic relationships.

What I’ve compiled here are the top 8 things that the majority of men find irresistible in a woman. They are as follows:

Smile — Believe it or not, one of the top things that a man finds sexy in a woman is something that’s well within your reach. And that is, your smile. A university study was conducted a few years ago, wherein the main objective was to find out exactly what men meant when they described women as “cute” or “attractive”.

Was it that she was tall, buxom, had long hair, long legs, full lips or a certain look? They interviewed hundreds of male students, and they found a common ingredient. A woman who smiles was always deemed considerably more attractive. Smiling tells a man that a woman is pleased with him, or that she genuinely likes men – and that attitude is very enticing to a man.

Women’s magazines have popularized pouting as a way of being sexy, but given the choice, I’d recommend a smile instead of a pout because the majority of men find it sexy.

Approachability – When it comes to attracting men, you must appear approachable, but not easy. This is a fine balance that you must learn to achieve, particularly if you want to attract the right kind of man. If you appear too approachable, you’ll attract opportunistic men who have all the wrong motives — and you’ll turn off the more desirable men who prefer a more discriminating woman. A man wants to know that he can comfortably initiate a conversation with you without becoming unduly intimidated and without getting sweaty palms — and know that you’ll be receptive to him. But he also wants the reassurance that you’re not equally receptive to every man that comes around.

Approachability, as a factor of sex appeal, includes not just your attitude and aura, but also your look. Women who appear as though they went to great lengths to look flawless – i.e., they have a professionally coiffed hairstyle, expertly done make-up, perfectly manicured nails, fancy jewelry and an obviously expensive attire, screams “Untouchable” or “High Maintenance” – or worst of all, “Do Not Disturb” — to a man.

This is why supermodels, movie stars and some of the world’s most gorgeous women often find themselves without dates or male suitors. They look intimidating, not inviting.

Therefore, contrary to what the fashion magazines say, ease up on the flawlessness factor a bit and look more down-to-earth and accessible. A man likes touchable hair that he can run his hands through, and appreciates a woman who doesn’t mind getting her hair out of place every now and then.

He wants lips he can kiss spontaneously without running the risk of the woman saying, “Don’t kiss me — I just put on my lipstick” – or kissing her and smearing messy lip product all over her face and his. They prefer women who won’t have a heart attack if someone accidentally spilled a little wine on their blouse or if they had to sit in the front row at the movies because the theater is too crowded.

In other words, a man generally finds it a turn-off if a woman is uptight and acts like a “diva” – but instead, finds alluring the woman who is “real,” doesn’t take herself way too seriously, is able to laugh at mishaps that come along, and gracefully make the best of any situation without making anyone feel offended or inadequate. Some celebrity examples that embody this kind of sex appeal are Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz.