Actors Alice Moran and Patrick Whalen get to know each other a little better in 'Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody' at Hoyt Sherman Place. / Special to the Register

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Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody

WHEN: 8 p.m. today through Saturday. The pre-show bar opens at 7 p.m. WHERE: Hoyt Sherman Place, 1501 Woodland Ave. TICKETS: $32-$38 INFO:www.hoytsherman.orgLATER: The tour visits Davenport on May 7, Fairfield on May 9, Cedar Rapids on May 10, and Dubuque on May 11 and 12. See www.spankshow.com for details.

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As you might guess, most of the action in “Fifty Shades of Grey” involves just two characters.

The creation of its theatrical spoof was more like an orgy.

“We had a whole team of writers, like a comedy show, with a half-dozen comedy minds working in tandem,” said Jim Millan, who co-wrote and directed the national tour of “Spank!” which opens tonight at Hoyt Sherman Place.

The show borrows heavily from E.L. James’ lusty bestsellers, about a shy woman’s encounters with a mysterious, rich, young manfriend. Instead of re-creating the book’s bondage hanky-panky, the stage show imagines a fictional author, E.B. Janet, at home alone with a few bottles of Chardonnay. Her husband and kids are gone for the weekend and she’s determined to crank out a racy novel of her own.

What follows is a two-hour, sketch-comedy parade of increasingly bizarre love scenes. On a hang glider. In a pair of Batman undies. In a fancy hotel bathroom, using an electric toothbrush in a way that nine out of 10 den­tists will never ever recommend.

Full disclosure, for the sake of my pride: I haven’t read the book. I haven’t seen the show, either, so I’d encourage you to scan the reviews online. The descriptions range from “a polished, modern-day burlesque” (chicagotheaterbeat.com) to “an excruciating ordeal” (Chicago Sun-Times). Several critics cracked jokes about being handcuffed to their seats but conceded that the audiences — mostly female, mostly drinking — seemed to be having a pretty good time.

Director Millan (“The Kids in the Hall”) doesn’t pretend the show is high-minded, either. But that hasn’t stopped viewers from enjoying the goods.

“When they see our guy enter, they scream like it’s a Justin Bieber concert,” Millan said. “Once his shirt comes off, the screaming is deafening.”

Ultimately, that’s what the show shares with its source material.

“We’re pro-fantasy,” Millan said. “We’re for people feeling free to explore whatever they want in their life as long as it’s a path to happiness.”

And if that path happens to lead to the Hoyt Sherman box office, he certainly won’t complain.