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There are moments in a dog's life that galvanizes him into action. I had come to a crossroads. It was time to be serious. It was time to announce my candidacy for dog catcher.
"That's dumb," Delfina said while looking up from her book. She was tucked into an overstuffed pillow. "You can't possibly think you could get...

The room was silent, filled with a somber air. Everyone wore long faces. Which I guess, on second thought, is easy for an Italian Greyhound.
Lying on the makeshift alter was the inanimate goldfish that once was Fillet. Abby held my paw for comfort. I sobbed softly and blew my nose into a hanky.
"Would anyone like to say any words," Delfina asked...

I can't believe it. I can't believe I actually have my own pet now.
As part of my birthday, my owners thought it was time I learned responsibility by taking care of a pet. I already have to pick up my toys and make my bed. Do I really have to feed and ugh, clean up after someone else too?
"Whatcha got there?," Abby asked excitedly. She...

Canolis, pupcakes, and snickerpoodles surrounded me. All my friends were there, looking at me, ready to play at my command. Billowy clouds dotted the sky and Sinatra's voice wafted through the air. I was in a blissful state.
"Hey wake up," a voice shot out of nowhere. "You're going to miss your big day."
Lemme sleep. I was...

"I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so!" I sang as I trotted into the studio. The cast was regrouping to shoot the pilot episode.
"Why are you in such a good mood?" Gregio asked. He was slouched on the casting couch and munching on biscotti. Everyone was in the room, relaxing.
"Have you...

It's not as if I want to jump out of a plane or run with the bulls. But I do need to have certain milestones in my life, like goals and stuff. Can I learn Texas Hold 'Em? Sure, if these dogs could play cards, why not...

"... and this is Abby who graduated from the prestigious Porterhouse University and is a gymnist," the reality tv producer said. The four that made the cut were assembled in the casting room. In addition to Abby, there was Delfina, the IG historian and Gregio, the avant-garde artist from Greenwich Village.
"Last but not least, there's...

"Louie? Are you Louie "Zamboni" Wilson?"
I had just stepped out of the house. Jeez, can't I just go anywhere without attracting attention? I turned and watched as two men approached me. They were sharply dressed and smiling with hands extended to shake my paw. Their teeth were so bright, I could almost see myself in them. Nice...

Play with ME! Let's wrestle. Fetch? Walk ME! C'mon, c'mon, C'MON! My insistence had gone unnoticed and fallen on deaf ears. It was morning and I wanted to play. Everyone was rushing to get ready for work. Work, schmurk.

My owners were rushing around, gave me a quick pat and kiss before hustling out the door. For a minute I...

Meet Whirley, the bloodhound. By far, he was one of the coolest guys around. His face was all wrinkled and when we first met he stared with his droopy eyes and sighed, "Kid, you're going to have to take it...

Others ask me how I learned to dominate the lives of my owners so quickly and with masterful skill. From Nicolli Machiavelli, of course. He’s only one of the most renowned Italians to influence Western civilization and political thought.

I draw a lot of inspiration from his writings and translate them into daily life. For instance, he states: “He who...

I suffered a traumatic experience recently. I didn’t want to talk about it because I had faith that it would have a happy ending — and it did! My beloved gecko’s squeeker had popped! My sharp teeth finally pierced my favorite toy and it would no longer squeek....

So I’m hanging out at the park, right? Just putting out the vibe and trying to meet the ladies. A Border Collie trotted over and we struck up a conversation. I’ll translate for all the humans reading this: