Have you ever taken an intensive course? Sometimes known as a module class or by another name perhaps.

Basically, this is a type of course where you go on a class trip over a weekend, or longer; listen to an absurd amount of lectures; and sleep with whatever measly amount of free time you may have… Probably on the floor of a classroom, or somewhere equally as comfortable.

I had to take a class like this (and will have to take a few more) for youth ministry. Charming as I made it sound, I would have to say that this class has been my favorite of all of my college classes so far.

Taking this course taught me so much about my major, about myself, and about God. It was an amazing experience.

It taught me about the passion that God gave me for what I am doing. Over the weekend that I went on this class trip, we visited 3 different churches. We sat through sooo many lectures! We were sleeping on the floor of an old church building, and lots and lots of other things that were just not comfortable! Which definitely should not be the point, but these things caused me to realize something… I still was learning from this trip, and I still loved it! I loved learning about youth ministry and discovering ways to better serve for God’s Kingdom. The other crazy thing about this revelation? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I were to have this kind of class for any other major I may have pursued I would NOT have survived the weekend.

It taught me that the best things come with hard things built in. I don’t know how many times during that weekend I heard the phrase “This is the wrong major for you if [Insert random phrase that I can mysteriously relate to myself, especially when I’m down on myself]”. It definitely caused me to really consider this, and pray about it, while sobbing on the bathroom floor. Going into ministry is really hard, and I know for a fact I haven’t faced near the worst of it, but God taught me through this experience that the backlash is still definitely worth it!

It taught me that going through with this may be crazy, but God will be with me every step of the way. That weekend was really hard to get through. Honestly I found out a lot about myself, like writing sermons and presenting them may not be my thing. Which I never said it was anyway, so that’s okay. We had to write a mini sermon and present it to a small group. I overwhelmed myself with that task and only pulled through by the grace of God. Anyway, the big thing is that it might be insane for me to continue to pursue ministry. But God is calling me to do something in this field, and He has se my heart on fire for it. I haven’t figured out exactly what I am supposed to do with that yet, but I know that God will be with me through it all!

The biggest thing is that, no matter what your calling is, no matter what you are striving to do, you are going to hit a point where things get really hard, and you may question whether or not this is really the path for you. You will realize whether or not you love it enough to keep going.

Do what you love and keep going at it. The best things in life will try to knock you down the hardest, so you can prove that you can really shine through it.

I used to wear an Invisibility Cloak. I would wear it everyday, in the hallways of my school. In the classroom. Everywhere I went I would take it.

The cloak would protect me from inevitable rejection

It was a cloak of loneliness, of depression, of defense.

I put it on by turn my eyes to the ground, slow my pace, and shrink into myself. Always succeeding in turning invisible to those in the hallway. Those in the lunchroom. Anyone who was likely to not like me.

My defense never failed.

Until one day, there was a friend that I had who refused to see it. I tried to wear it around her once.

It was after a sporting event. “I can wait with you until your parents come” she said sweetly

“I don’t care” I said. Putting on the cloak.

“I think I will!” She exclaimed, as my cloak disappeared.

I tried once more to wear it around her. Putting it on as we walked down the hallway. She walked ahead and I thought it had worked. I was sure I had succeeded in being invisible to her. Just as the darkness in my mind wanted. I had succeeded.

But she turned around. “Sorry I didn’t mean to walk ahead!” She apologized. I dropped the cloak. Stunned.

I brought the cloak to college, and at first I used it a lot. As much as I didn’t want to use the cloak, I was scared, and it was my defense.

I used it on my first friend, and I thought she would look through me with the cloak, and leave me for the boy she had just met.

In an instant, as I began pulling the cloak on, falling behind them, she stuck her hand out for me to take, and my cloak disappeared as I realized I may have another true friend.

As the year went on, I wore the cloak less and less. My new friend, still refuses to see the cloak, and always offers her hand so I don’t fall behind.

Another friend I’ve made, I never even felt the need to put the cloak on around. I don’t think I even have the opportunity to try.

The friends who see past my cloak and still offer their friendship are those who really count. The ones who walk beside me, even as I try to wear the cloak. The ones who can coax the cloak off of me, to see who I truly am.

I still find myself in the habit of pulling on the cloak, but it is no longer my first defense. The cloak wasn’t protecting me from anything. It is just here so I don’t see others cloaks, and I am blinded to opportunities of friendship.

Hello Everyone! I just created this blog today and I am really excited about it.

The purpose is basically just to share a bunch of my random thoughts with you. Because I adore this method of self expression.

I love writing, and I have always loved writing. Sometimes I just lose that fire and can’t find my voice. That has happened recently, over the past year actually. Which is why I am starting this blog, to try and find it again.

I used to have another blog actually, and Posting on it was my favorite thing! I’d post whatever the heck I wanted, with a very quirky voice. This was back when I was a junior in high school.

As my senior year dawned, I still loved blogging, but I felt like I needed a bit of a change of pace. (For whatever reason, I took that to mean that I needed to blog out of character or whatever). Basically I ended up starting new blogs and trying to write based off of topics that were on my mind, but it was a really unnatural way of writing.

As the year went on, blogging turned into such a chore, and I couldn’t even bare to post. I was stressed, and in a funk that had both to do less with my blog and more with life.

I ended up basically not blogging for a whole year. And now I am here. I realize that why I started blogging in the first place was for 2 reasons.

Creative Expression

Connection

Those were really the only 2 things I had in mind when starting my first blog. I just took those ideas and had as much fun as I could with it.

And on that note, that is exactly the reason I am starting this blog! I’ve tried to start many blogs for reasons that aren’t these, and end up getting burnt out rather quickly.

So, with these things in mind, I will sign off. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog, and I hope that you have an amazing week!