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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I started this on Friday, which was my last day in the office. I didn't get much written, though, so I am sharing it with you today...on my last official day of work.

I am unofficially done at my job. My keys and badge are turned in, and I have clocked out for the last time. My office is cleaned of my personal belongings. I will not be going there again unless it is to visit. Today is my last official day of my job...tomorrow I will no longer be a Denton County employee.

I was surprised that when I signed my separation form several weeks ago, I got a bit teary. And then when I drove back from Denton last week, after turning in my keys and my badge, I flat out cried for a third of the drive. And when I went around my buidling saying goodbye to my co-workers I was crying even more.

I've said before that I just don't do well with change. That is still true. Even changes that I am looking forward to. It takes me a while to adjust. And I will miss seeing all those people that I have been working with for the last nine years. That's a long time...about a fourth of my life, actually.

This is the end. The end of hearing horror stories about things that happen that we deal with. The end of having those horror stories to share. The end of forcing myself to keep going when I am overwhelmed and need a vacation. The end of saying over and over that I am here to try to make a difference. The end of having a potentially huge impact that I have had just by the nature of working with so many kids and families. This is the end.

But it is also the beginning. The beginning of being the main influence in my own children's lives. The beginning of being with them every day and being the guardian of what they are exposed to. The beginning of being their teacher every day. (No I'm not talking about homeschooling, they are only 2.5 and 6 months!) The beginning of being able to share all of their discoveries and triumphs just by the nature of spending so much time with them. The beginning of being a mom the way I have always wanted to. At home with my children. This is a new beginning.