Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:29:42 EDT
From: HnstSkr4@aol.com
Subject: Jason and Shaun - Chapter 4
Warning: This story doesn't contain any sex. It's the story of gay teens.
None of the characters are based on real people nor are they meant to
resemble any living or dead people.
Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me at
_Hnstskr4@aol.com_
I want to thank everyone who has emailed. I also want to thank those who
have read the story. It means a lot hearing from you. Please continue
reading! There is a lot more to come. I own all rights to this story.
Chuck B.
I want to thank Pete ahead of time for taking the time to edit the story.
? October 13, 2008
Jason and Shaun, Life Together
Chapter 4 ? Was It a Dream?
I open my journal and start writing:
"Dear Journal,
It's been a month since I came out to Jason, one month exactly today. I
know it feels like things are moving so fast right now. I can't help it,
not sure why, but I want this to work out. Anyway, I need to get going."
Closing my book I left my room, stepping out in just a pair of shorts.
Jason surprised me. He was actually sitting in the living room. You would
think that by coming out to him that the tension would have died down but
it hasn't. In fact sometimes, like right now, the air is really heavy.
Jason looks at me but doesn't say anything. I walk past him and make my
way to the kitchen for a drink. He suddenly stands up and wants to know if
I want to go out. All my homework is finished, so there isn't anything
keeping me from heading out. I agree to go. We pass by a couple of bars.
It's pretty clear that Jason would rather go to the bar. I'm not about to
go there because he's not twenty-one just yet.
We finally arrive at the restaurant and put in our orders. Neither one of
us is really hungry so we just get drinks. Jason orders a cola and I order
a lime soda that I love. We sit there for awhile and just drink. In a
corner of this restaurant there are a couple of dartboards. Jason goes up
and requests darts. While taking his turn, he turns to me and asks me
about my dating history. "Jason, I used to have a girlfriend." I replied.
He again looked at me and asked, "Why would you date women if you're gay?"
I didn't expect him to understand any of this. It doesn't always make
sense to me. Still it's a matter of survival for me. "Dating girls in
high school was a way to hide my sexuality from spying eyes. I figured my
family wouldn't put two and two together this way." He doesn't seem to
understand. Maybe someday he will.
He reached out his hand and took my hand. We sat that way as we finished
our drinks. I wonder if the time is right to ask him about April. Taking
a deep breath I ask, "Jason... is April your girlfriend?"
Jason smiled as he clenched my hand a little tighter. "Shaun... April is
my best friend and she has been for a long time, but no she isn't my
girlfriend. Actually, I have something to tell you. I'm gay! I have even
had a boyfriend. We were together back in high school. His name is Eric
Reynolds. We spent two years together. Shaun... I loved Eric."
There is a word that I didn't want to hear. Honestly my heart sank, but at
least this Eric Reynolds is out of his life. We stood up and left the
place. When we got home, we both made a beeline for our bedrooms.
When I entered my room, I grabbed my cell phone and called Matt. I hope
and pray that he's home. Matt has a way of making sense of my weird life.
Ever since I moved away from home, I attach faster to people. A trait that
has lead to me being upset on a couple of occasions. Finally on the third
ring, I hear the voice of reason pick up. "Matt here, what's up?"
Hearing Matt's voice is a beacon in whatever storm I'm weathering. "Matt,
I know you're going to kill me for saying this, but I think that I'm in
love." Matt told me that he didn't want to hear me say "I'm in love"
unless I really meant it. Unless, the other guy other loved me too.
"So... for starters is this guy gay?"
At least I could answer one of his questions with an affirmative answer.
"Yeah... for once, I actually have a crush on a gay guy. Jason is the most
real guy that I know, well next to you."
"So do think he know about you being gay?"
Make that two questions that I can answer. "I told him already. It wasn't
easy but I actually told him."
"Wow... I'm impressed, my friend. You must like this guy. It's not every
guy that makes you break down your walls." I guess he's right about that;
I have broken down a few walls for Jason. "Does he have feelings for you?"
I could almost feel Matt looking straight into my eyes. "Matt, I don't know
if he loves me or not, but I do love him."
"I guess that answers my question. Now you just need to tell him how you
feel."
I took a deep breath. "I don't think that I'm ready for that just yet."
I heard a sigh and then Matt said, "Hey man... my dinner is ready. I need
to go."
Dinner ready or not, it was late and I was feeling pretty tired. "K man,
take care!" Grabbing my journal, I made a quick entry about the evening so
far. I then turned in.
I woke up to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen. He was already
up and cooking breakfast. I walked out of the room and looked into the
kitchen. Jason was in there, dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of blue jean
shorts. On a plate next to him were very thin pancakes and in a bowl next
to them were some strawberries. He seemed to be quite happy as he toiled
in front of the stove. I ran back inside my room and proceeded to put on
some shorts. I walked back out and entered the kitchen/dining room. "So
what are we cooking?" I asked.
"This morning, we are going to have crepes stuffed with strawberries with a
little whipped cream put over them," Jason answered me. He seemed just way
too happy. I can't believe he is putting out all this effort just for me.
Jason turned back around and filled a bunch of the crepes with
strawberries. "Can you set the table for me?" Jason asked me. I figured
it was the least I could do. After all, he did go through the trouble of
making breakfast. I could at least set the table. The only thing I can't
do is help with the dishes after breakfast. I have class today.
It's weird and I can't put a finger on it but I swear Jason is trying to
tell me something. "Cool, I hope you're hungry!" Jason said as he placed
two over-stuffed crepes on my plate and two on his plate. They look so
good and I am starving this morning. My first bite was okay, the second
bite was great, but I'm not overly impressed. They taste like pancakes
with strawberries and whipped cream on them. Somehow, we managed to make
through breakfast without saying a word.
"Thanks Jason, but I need to get ready for class." I hate having to run
off to class.
I just can't afford to miss any classes. I'm going to have a hard enough
time getting through all of this semester without missing any classes. My
class had better go okay.
Leaving Jason alone in the kitchen felt wrong. Still, I needed to get my
shower in before I headed out the door. I hurried through my shower so
that I could get out the door with enough time to relax. Having those few
seconds to collect yourself is a luxury that I happen to love.
Sure enough I was able to get to class with ten minutes to spare, leaving
me ten minutes to review the notes from the last class before lecture
started today. I can't explain it, but somehow it just plain felt wrong.
Today, my thoughts were on Jason, not on class work, so it was a good thing
that there wasn't a test or quiz. Thinking about Jason seemed to carry
over, even once class was over. For the life of me, I couldn't get him out
of my head. All of this over some thin pancakes, I guess maybe I really am
in love with him. Class ended a little bit early so the professor sent us
home without even giving us homework, a truly rare occasion indeed.
As I entered the parking lot at the apartment complex, I felt strange,
unlike anything that I had felt before. It was as if something was telling
to go back to the campus. I was ready to be home though. I took out my
key and entered the building. Miss White's apartment door was cracked open
a little bit. She never keeps it open. As I went over to check, a feeling
of dread swept over me. I was afraid something had happened. Instead, she
was sitting there in her favorite chair waiting. Waiting for me to come
and check things out. I was ambushed. For quite some time, she sat there
and talked to me about Jason. By time I returned home, tears were
streaming down my face. Pure and simple, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Chapter 4 ? Was It a Dream? - Jason's Point of View
An entire month has passed since Shaun came out to me. In that month it
seems as if we hardly even spoke a word. I know he's keeping more from me.
Still I'm afraid of pushing too much. If I push too much he might just
clam up for good. Man, I want to know what he's hiding from me. If he
loves me, I wish he would just tell me. Doesn't he have any balls? Maybe
I am expecting too much from him. I don't know either way; it's not
exactly easy for me. I'm holding out for some kind of sign from him.
Anything that might tell me what he's thinking. What I need right now is
just a chance to leave the apartment for a little bit.
I asked Shaun if he wanted to go out. It didn't take him too long to get
out the door. Shaun and I enjoyed our drinks and after enjoying the drinks
for awhile, I decided to play some darts. I was amazed that the Utah boy
would want to play darts. Still he did pretty good. As we started
playing, I turned to Shaun and asked about his dating history. To be
honest, I was a bit surprised to hear that Shaun had a girlfriend at one
time. I got the feeling from what Shaun said that his girlfriends were
nothing more than a veil to hide his true sexuality. Sitting there talking
with Shaun, I still was not really sure what his exact reasons were for
hiding. After my line of questions and more drinking, the questions were
turned on me. Shaun started his questions to me and paused before
finishing his first question. "Jason... is April your girlfriend?"
There is no reason to lie to him. April is just my friend. Although she
does sometimes act like my girlfriend, she is kind of nuts. I love her
dearly. I truly felt that Shaun had exposed himself to my questions. Now,
I feel that he is trying to see where I am. Hearing him take his time and
pause in his first question made me want to give him some of my strength.
Reaching down with my right hand, I took his left hand and squeezed. I
smiled at him before answering his question. "Shaun... April is my best
friend and she has been for a long time, but no she isn't my girlfriend.
Actually, I have something to tell you. I'm gay! I have even had a
boyfriend. We were together back in high school. His name is Eric
Reynolds. We spent two years together. Shaun... I loved Eric." When I
finished saying the word "Eric", I could see Shaun tremble a bit. I'm
pretty sure that Shaun's heart broke. One more proof that Shaun loves me.
I was ready to leave and think that Shaun was ready to go also. I drove
home with Shaun in the car. Things were very quiet on the way home. When
we got to the apartment both of us headed into our bedrooms. I went to
water Lucy. As I left my bedroom, I heard Shaun talking to someone. He
was talking loud enough for me to hear even if I was on the couch. I heard
him flat out say "I do love him." Shaun does love me. I... I can't
believe he's telling someone else instead of me. Wonder if he'll tell me
someday. In the morning, I'll prepare him a special breakfast of
strawberry crepes.
I went straight to bed after calling Tom to bring me strawberries and
whipped cream. I was up at 5:00 am and went to work preparing them. I
mixed up the batter and starting creating my masterpieces. Around 6:00 am
Shaun woke up to the wonderful smell of my cooking. He came out and
actually volunteered to set the table. I expected him to be in seventh
heaven when it came to the crepes. He really didn't seem all that
impressed. I felt hurt and betrayed. After he finished eating, Shaun got
up and went to class, leaving me in the apartment to wash dishes. I stood
there and thought about what had transpired yesterday and last night.
There is only person who can make sense of the mess, Miss White. I hurried
back to back to the frying pan and made a couple more crepes. I then left
the apartment and walked over to Miss White's apartment.
She had just come back in from her morning walk when I got to her
apartment. "Well this is a surprise, how can I help you Jason?"
I almost walked away from her, but I had to talk with her. "I need to talk
to you about Shaun." Her eyes quickly went to her door and she unlocked
it. One by one, we entered the apartment. She sat down in her living room
and invited me to sit down.
"So what is it that you want to know?"
"Miss White, I know Shaun has listened in on me talking to a friend of
mine. Last night, I heard him tell someone that he loves me."
She smiled the same sort of smile that I shared with Shaun when I took his
hand at the restaurant. "Jason, he does love you. You have to give him
time to tell you but in the mean time tell him how you feel." Her Siamese
cats walked out of their hiding places and I think that I fell in love
them. One of them even leaped up into my lap. "She rarely will go to
anyone unless there is something really special about them. So what else
would you like to know?"
Okay... here is my chance to find out why he refused to tell me that he
loves me. "Why does he refuse to tell me about his feelings?"
The smile disappeared from her face. "He's been hurt before and badly.
I'm afraid he doesn't trust anyone now."
I suppose that I can tell him and... , wait, does this have something to do
with Payton? "So does he have a boyfriend?"
"You already know the answer to that, don't you?" Yes, I do! He doesn't
have a boyfriend.
Smiling, I said, "You know that I love him." I got up and headed for the
door. "Thanks Miss White, I hope the crepe isn't cold."
"I'll warm it up! Now go on to class!"
"Bye! Oh one last thing, I can't wait forever on him."
I walked out of her apartment and headed out to the campus. I tried to
stay out of the apartment until it was quite late. I got home around 7:00
pm. Shaun was not home so I just went to bed after doing some homework.