Tomorrow, the 13th of June, 2014, marks a full moon and Friday the 13th, two happenings that, alone, could be considered ominous. And together, their combined impact is something we’ve only seen a half dozen times or so over the last century.

The last time such a dynamic duo occurred was Oct. 13, 2000. And, after tomorrow, we won’t see another “Full Moon Friday-13” until the August of 2049. A baby could be born today and then run for U.S. President in the time it takes another one of these clusterfucks to occur.

I like to think back on that mystical fall night on a Friday in October 2000, at Stonehill College. I had recently embarked upon my freshman year. I was probably inebriated. It may have been the night I knocked down a $10,000 street lamp on campus. You see, Kevbo had discovered that if you charged them like a bull, you could somehow disrupt the electrical fuse for just enough time to blow out the bulb. They weren’t broken. Just temporarily out of commission. Well I shook that lamp a little too hard. Let’s just say that thing took a bath in the full moonlight. And came crashing, splashing, smashing down.

Dear Stonehill,

I owe you a street lamp, but it looks like the Class of 2004 donated that giant Back to the Future clock, overhanging outside dining commons. So maybe we’re even.

So whatever tomorrow brings–perhaps an electromagnetic tsunami, from the nether regions of a Universe we’ve barely had the opportunity to comprehend, or the heightened tide of bad luck for all you superstitious folk–know that you won’t have another chance to ride this wave before one and three quarters score.

The last time I felt the raw surge of this Perfect Storm, I destroyed an expensive lamp. I don’t know what could improve upon that…