May is finally here and the school year is almost over for most of us. We’ve enjoyed being a part of homeschool co-op this year and I believe it has been good for the kids, too. They’ve each met some friends and learned a lot this year. We’ve been on several interesting field trips that we really enjoyed, too. We just recently went to the Thad Cochran USDA Center in Poplarville, MS and learned about bugs and blueberries. We stopped at a little park and had lunch, then discovered a beautiful walking track that went into the woods a little bit. The spring wild flowers were very pretty this time of year.

Well this last month has been as good to me as the one before it. I got three of my published books put on kindle through their Kindle Direct Publishing website. Between the three books I’ve had about 1500 hits. These are not actual sales though; it’s more like checking it out from the library. But I think I’m supposed to get a cut of a $600, 000 dollar pot, which worked out to be about $2.00 a hit last month. So if this is correct, maybe I’ll actually get a little something for all the work I’ve been doing for nothing all these years. But God has been good and we’ve been blessed many times over, even with no consistent money coming in. I’d find furniture on the side of the road, been blessed with kid’s clothes by many Christian friends, been blessed myself with clothes when the lady I used to care for died. We’d get unexpected money from somewhere every time there was a need. This month I was really struggling to have money for paying the water bill. The lady that runs the dollar general store suggested I come out there and sit one day with my books and I had almost forgotten about it. But one morning I woke up and felt God saying to go and do it. I opened my Bible and read a few chapters and wound up reading the passage where it says, “Go and sell what you have” so I did. That day I gathered up about 20 of my Christian books off my shelf and brought some of my own. I sold all of mine and several more besides. Then a couple of weeks later, the day before my water was to be cut off, I went back. This time I gathered up about 200 Christian books and a few of my own. Before we left for the day, we had sold all but about 30 of the books and had more than enough to pay the water bill, buy a few groceries, and order some more books for my ministry.

Speaking of my ministry, my website has nearly reached 35, 000 views now, and will probably have reached that by the first of this month. I pray that God continues to bless my efforts and that whatever I write will bring glory to Him, and wisdom to others. I know some of the things I write about are hard subjects to read about, but God’s word says that even though these things shouldn’t even be spoken of, that they should be brought into the light and exposed for what they are. And it says that whatever exposes them is light. I pray that I can be a light to the world of darkness. We know that the truth sets us free and when things such as sexual and domestic violence are kept in silence and darkness, they are perpetuated more frequently, but when they are brought to light and exposed for what they are, people are freed from these strongholds on their lives. I pray that by my outspokenness on these issues that people will recognize how wrong these things are and how much damage they do to women and their children. I pray that offenders will repent and that victims will be healed. God’s hand is not so weak that it cannot save even the worst offenders if they will repent of their sins and change their wicked ways. And God will defend those who are weak and powerless against their offenders. Their blood may cry out from the ground as Abel’s did, but like Cain, the offenders will be punished. And though offenders may repent and be forgiven as King David did when he committed adultery and murder, they will still suffer the consequences of their behaviors. King David was told that trouble would never leave his house because of his sin, and if you’re familiar with that story, you know that is exactly what happened. One of his sons raped his daughter, he lost the baby that he and Bathsheba conceived, and one of his own sons turned against him. Punishment by God is much worse than punishment by man, but God is merciful as well as just. We must trust in both God’s justice and His love. God’s word tells us what he requires of us and that is to love mercy, do justice, and take care of the poor. We can’t do justice, if we don’t speak out on these issues.

One of my sons recently accused me of abandoning them when I left their father several years ago. This was heart-breaking to me as I felt the hatred in his voice, but I know I did what I felt I had to do at the time to survive. When I left, I took several of the children with me and told the boys if they wanted to come with me to get in the car. They refused to do so, so I left them with their father. I tried to go back about a year later and both their father and the boys were very abusive toward me, so after about a week, I left again. At that point I knew that they had been brainwashed by their father that I was the evil one for leaving them. I wonder what may have happened if I’d stayed. Would I be dead, or like so many others, would I have killed my abusive husband? Would the boys have grown up seeing their father’s abuse of me and believe there would be no consequences to that kind of behavior? Would I ever have started my ministry? I don’t know what the answer is to those questions, but I do know that by leaving, even though I chose not to divorce, I showed both their father and the boys that there are consequences to abusive behavior and that I would not live with them as long as they behaved in that manner. I have been blamed by some people for leaving the relationship, and blamed by others for not leaving the relationship. People often don’t understand the dynamics of a domestic violence situation and offer pat answers to complicated issues. I don’t know whether or not the choices I made were the best ones I could have made, but they were the ones I made and we all have to live with them now. I pray my sons can forgive me for “abandoning” them physically, though my heart and prayers never left them. I pray that they learn there are consequences to abusive behaviors before they have to suffer more pain in their lives. I pray that they learn to treat people with respect, whether male or female. I trust that God can and will reach their hearts with the truth and that they will be emotionally healed from any thing I may have done wrong to them. Please pray with me on this.

My garden is still producing a few peas and my tomatoes are just getting big enough to start making some blossoms I hope. My onions are growing slowly, but they’re growing. My beans are doing well but very few of the corn I planted came up, so I replanted some more and we’ll see what happens. I have a few potatoes plants so maybe I’ll get some this year. Some kind of white termite looking bugs got most of them last year, so I’ll have to see if they come back this year. All my greens are producing seed now so I’m trying to collect and save seed. My plum trees all have baby green plums on them now, so I hope I’ll get a few of them this year. My baby fig trees have leafed out now and are getting some size on them. My day lilies are getting their first few blossoms now along with my Lantanas. My azaleas that I transplanted are leafing out so I think they’ll make it. I managed to tame one of the Russian Blue kittens I got and she’s doing well. The other two were too wild and got outside, so they’re gone now. I guess they were just too old and set to try to tame them. My pullets are getting big now and I just bought three little baby roosters, so I hope they do ok. I know how to clip their wings now, but I still may have to cover the area to keep them in at some point. Our Christmas bunnies are doing great and are big now, so I went to get a female to go with the two males we have. She didn’t have any regular rabbits, but I got one that is three-quarters velveteen and one-quarter long-haired. She’s a beautiful solid white bunny with longer hair. So far she’s doing well, but she’s young so it’ll be a while before she’s old enough to breed. I hope we’ll be eating stewed rabbit and chickens eventually, and not have to worry about all those growth hormones and stuff they put in processed meats now. I hope to eventually be self-reliant and not have to depend on groceries stores, which can easily shut down in natural disasters like Katrina. As I said before, Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Well that’s all for now. God bless to all and go fish for Jesus!

Notes and Prayer Requests

Pray for Tommy, who is still not working full time, though he’s doing everything he can. Pray that he get’s back in the police academy this summer.

Pray for Amanda, who is expecting their second child, Kody, any day now and is experiencing some pregnancy related troubles.

Pray for Jonnie to be motivated to go take the ACT soon.

Pray for those of my kids that are straying from the faith, and those who are rebelling against God.

Pray for those people and ministries, which make contact with my website, that they will be blessed and find what they need through it.

I am a Christian Counselor and would be willing to provide services to those in need. I have a master’s degree in Psychological Counseling and am an ordained Minister as well. Please pray that I may be useful to God’s kingdom.

I have published all of my New Testament paraphrases and Old Testament Torah on my new website located at https://gofishministries.wordpress.com/ Also there is a link to my books for sale there too.

I have started on Isaiah, but can’t seem to work on it consistently, but now that summer is here I hope to have more time to work on it. Pray for me to have the spiritual passion to get this work finished this year. Thank all of you who are praying for me on this.

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About mamaheartfilled

I am a mother of eight wonderfully challenging children and nine grandkids, of whom I am very proud. I am also a bi-vocational ordained evangelical minister, and a Christian Counselor. I received my B.S. degree in 2004, studying primarily in the areas of Psychology, with minors in Religion and English. I received my Masters Degree in 2009 in Psychological Counseling with an emphasis in Christian Counseling. I have endeavored to paraphrase the Bible, both Old and New Testaments, for the last ten years or so and am working on a final edit, now. It is my hope that it will be of some use in the great commission of Christ. My ministry is primarily geared toward victims of sexual and domestic violence, including victims of childhood sexual abuse, whether currently or in the past. Since I have personally experienced the healing hand of God in overcoming many of the life issues that Christians may face, I feel qualified and compelled to discuss them in a truthful and open manner, as God’s word tells us that “We shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free.” God has brought me through such diverse tribulations as sexual, physical, and mental abuse, being a victim of a drunk driving accident, spousal pornography addiction, adultery, divorce, remarriage, a very brief, though unjust, incarceration, and having experienced multiple miscarriages and various other trials. I have been asked to leave two Southern Baptist Churches, due to my being a female, ordained as a minister, and fired from a SBC sponsored Christian School (mostly white) for speaking out against racial prejudice in the Family of God. Through God’s merciful forgiveness of my own sins and inadequacies and God’s grace given to me to forgive those who have been a stumbling block to me, I have overcome many of these adversities. God’s word tells us that “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to the purposes of God." Since I have this hope, I believe that God has blessed me with the ability to confront and relate these issues to the Christian community around the world. I hope to be able to use my personal experiences as a ministry of God’s grace and in the comforting of the people of God with the truth of God's mercy. I claim II Corinthians 1: 3 & 4 as my calling, which states: “Blessed be God, the Origin of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Origin of mercies, and the God of comfort; who comforts us in all our troubles, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, by the comfort we ourselves have been given by God.” As I have received the gift of God’s healing, I hope to be able to bring the peace beyond understanding to others with the message of God’s mercy and grace. My love for the Sovereign Lord of my life, Jesus Christ, along with my passion for writing has drawn me to explore these commonly experienced crisis issues from the perspective of my own experience in the hope that I may bring an empathetic and compassionate insight to God’s people. I am now a published author and have several books in publication, including my autobiography, "A Little Redneck Theology." The views expressed in my writings are strictly my own insights, acquired from personal experience and diligent study of the related topics and God’s word concerning them. Though I am an ordained minister, my views should not be considered authoritative. I believe that the Christian community’s ultimate authority is the guidance of the human heart by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.