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Thursday, February 07, 2008

I awoke yesterday to the realization that, having neglected my self-tanning routine for quite some time, my skin was a frightful shade of pale.

(And I am not talking "alabaster" or "porcelain," people, I am talking pasty white, ill-looking, and translucent to the point that even the tiniest little capillary was visible.)

I grabbed a bottle of self-tanner (Bare Escentuals Faux Tan, a solid choice) and slathered it all over my neck and arms before I took another look in the mirror.

It was GREEN.

Ghoulish, Incredible Hulk green. I looked like an extra from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video! After the initial shock wore off, I realized that this bottle of tanner was several months old, and that I'd had this problem before, with old bottles of St. Tropez and ModelCo Tan in a Can. It only happens with tinted self-tanners, and only when they've been sitting on the shelf for a while.

I did a little googling and found scattered reports of "green tanner," usually when the product in question was a little old, like mine. It also seems to be a problem when certain tanners are applied over anti-perspirant (weird). I'm not sure what's going on with the pigments that causes this phenomenon, but it's pretty bizarre, no?

In any case, the tanner was already all over my arms and neck, so I just decided to keep going. I thought it might be an interesting experiment, to see if the green tanner would still turn me into a bronze goddess in a few hours. (If not, maybe I'd just keep my coat on all day?)

Turns out, the ghoulish hue didn't affect product performance at all. By the end of the day the green was gone and I was looking healthy and bronzed! But I suppose the lesson is this: if you bring home a tanner from the store and it comes out green right off the bat, chances are it's been sitting around for a while.