Bros in Relationships! Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See This Link

Just a little spot of advice from your friendly internet blogger over here. The Satanists who work at Time Magazine have created a Facebook app that shows exactly when your friends got married, how many of your friends are married, and where you are when it comes to the median age for marriage amongst your friends.

Now, most people would look at this and think “okay.” Some people get married and some don’t. No rush. But there is a certain subset of non-rational human beings, known as girls in relationships who have yet to be proposed to. If you happen to be a guy, dating one of these people, I highly suggest you find a way to keep said person from seeing this.

Now, I am most certainly not saying that all girls are naggy bitches who are all desperate for a rock because Jen’s boyfriend proposed two MONTHS ago and they’ve been dating for like half as long as we have and OMG do you see this? SEVENTY percent of my friends are married and all of the ones who are married got married before ME.

No, I’m not saying that at all.

All I’m saying is that if you want to avoid this from happening, just lock your girlfriend out of her computer and phone for a few days and change all her passwords on all her social media accounts until the hullabaloo from this is over.

Seriously. Better safe than sorry.

[Above image from my chart, which says I am behind the curve when it comes to getting married. But I already knew that.]