Resolutions: How To Make the Most Out of 2017

I am not a huge advocate for resolutions. It seems to me
that we often use them as an excuse to promote temporary change. We throw out
our calendars and act like we’re suddenly going to be different. The new year, new me! attitude and
ridiculously unrealistic declarations of personal transformation made in
millions of Facebook statuses around the world makes me physically ill. Within
a few weeks, we’ll go back to binge-watching Stranger Things and eating microwavable burritos instead of going
to the gym. Resolutions made at the expense of the panic of realizing that it’s
yet again already the beginning of an entire new year are short-lived, but they
don’t have to be.

Though I am incredibly repulsed by the idea of New Year’s
resolutions, I am a firm believer in goals. While segmenting life in chapters
is extremely corny, you have to be able to compartmentalize specific parts of
your life to measure progress. No, these chapters don’t turn at 12:01 on the
first of January. Instead, they are characterized on an individual basis by
specific events and other various factors, but each year is sort of like a
mini-chapter, too. I have become convinced over the years that even though
everyone has their own experience that defines the periods of their lives, it’s
okay to use the start of each calendar year as a marker for checking up on
yourself. It’s not a bad thing to use the New Year as a reason to initiate small
revolutions, ones that can be considerably, or even marginally, valuable to
achieving your personal objectives, or at the very least, re-igniting the
enthusiasm you had for them.

If anything, setting reasonable expectations and ambitions
for yourself will give you better insight to who you are and what you want to
achieve. It’s okay to want and filtering those wants into goals will help make
them become reality. Each year is a reminder that you need to dream bigger or
keep working if you’ve fallen off. It’s a new year and you don’t have to be a
new you, just a better version. One that takes initiative and doesn’t let life
choose where each chapter starts and ends. Make this year whatever part of your
story you want. Make 2017 yours. Here are some of my goals for this year.

Leave everything in the years before this
one.
I am 25 years old now and will be 26 at the end of this year; I no longer need
to dwell on that one time the host at Kona Grill was snarky to me, or the
embarrassment of not knowing that sayonara
was a Japanese farewell instead of a Spanish one.

I will not re-read letters, text messages, or re-visit old
pictures, unless it is just as a nice reminder that they have shaped me in the
past. They are souvenirs of a different time in my life and they no longer
direct my future. I will leave everything before this moment as a gentle impression,
something to be subtly reminded of, but this year I won’t linger.

Make good shit.

I often stop myself because I am afraid or insecure. Whether
it is during the creative process or just the decision to put my completed work
on display, I pause. This year, I will not allow myself the moment to question.

I will not let myself get in my way. I will make art that I
am proud of. I will demand quality. I will not hesitate and will do so by
convincing myself that every movement is deliberate, even if it isn’t.

Know when to apologize.

I used to always say sorry when I would accidentally bump
into someone at work. It happened literally every step that I would take. Oh my god I am so sorry, I’m just so clumsy!
Then one day after delivering my thousandth or so apology to my coworkers,
I realized that I was getting tired. I’m a server, we practically stumble over
each other, almost as often as the thought of throwing the sauce a guest asks
for after we brought the side glass
of ice for their wine they asked for in their face crosses our mind. I’m sorry
I almost knocked into your tray of food, but you already know that.

I used to also say sorry after I made a joke. Sorry, I just had to use that pun since the
opportunity was there! I’m actually not sorry in this instance. I’m upset
you didn’t laugh to the degree in which my animal pun merited, but I am
certainly not sorry. This unapologetic feeling extends to my writing and
everything else I create. I’m not sorry and I’m not sorry that I’m not sorry.
Something I do will offend someone or not live up to their standards and that’s
okay. I will learn to apologize when it matters, when I am petty or stubborn,
or if I make mistakes, which are all also okay. But I won’t apologize for
sometimes getting in the way, being myself, or any byproducts of being myself,
like my writing. I will apologize when it matters and I won’t apologize when it
doesn’t. This year, I will try to discern the difference.

Not form judgments.

I actually thought of this one fairly recently. I think we
all fall victim to this, I just pretend that I don’t play any role to unfair
judgment because I am an intellectual and
because of this I am not only perceptive, I am accepting. But sometimes I find
myself commenting out loud that the news anchor has a large forehead or noting
in my head that the girl standing in front of me in the Chik-Fil-A line is
wearing a dress that doesn’t compliment her figure. I don’t know why these
things are important to me in the moment, but I allow them to become more than
surface-level background noise and take the form of thought-controlling
perceptions of who these people might be as humans, which is both unfair and
damaging. This year I want to limit myself to thoughts that are based on unity
and inclusiveness. Instead of jumping to conclusions, I will wander past them.
Instead of a discourteous comment about a woman’s eyebrow style, I will
consider asking her what her favorite brand of foundation is because her skin
looks flawless. This year, I will revise my attitude by modifying the way I
approach my thoughts.

Not let the big
picture fool me.Everything is picture-perfect when you’re looking at a picture. Instagram makeup
makes regular humans look like their faces were carved by the gods. That pin of
a woman’s flawlessly sculpted braid on Pinterest is beautiful, her hair a
seamless ombré. Somehow, Facebook
profile pictures make couples look faultless, as if fighting about what to have
for dinner is never recurrent dialogue between them as they hold each other
sweetly in front of a Tumblr-worthy beach resort backdrop with matching tans.

But a picture captures only a moment and life is full of a whole
lot of moments and statistically speaking, only a handful of them are going to
be as happy as the moment caught on camera, perfectly edited and double-filtered,
first through Snapchat, then through VSCO cam. This year, I won’t look at these
pictures and self-generate anxiety that I am not a part of them.

The same goes for looking at my life as a big picture. I
want to be a screenwriter, but sometimes the thought of all the things it could
take to get there makes me tense-up. I scroll through so much content, it is
difficult to miss all the people who appear as if they’re doing more than me,
or the ones who have already accomplished the things I want to. Look to the
ones who have made it in what you want to achieve, but do not look to them.
They have made it differently than you will. In 2017, I will take a deep breath
and take one step at a time until I get to where I want to be. I will not let
the big picture fool me into thinking that for some reason it is unobtainable.

Set realistic goals.

The reason our resolutions are short-lived is because we set
goals like “this year I will be a better person” and “this year I will be
healthy.” Those are just general things that we all want, but there are a lot
of things that need to happen between who I am now and who I want to be. It’s
okay to use these statements to shape your ultimate outcome, but only to
encourage you. These are not goals. In order to be a better person, you might
need to compliment people more. To be healthy, you might decide to try to take
your dog for a walk once a week. Then, once these smaller goals become habits,
create some more! Through time, you’ll start to become closer to the person you
want to be. This year, I will celebrate even the smallest of victories because
they are part of the bigger whole.

In 2017, I will let go. I will be deliberate. I will learn
when it is appropriate to apologize. I will not judge. I will not be fooled by
the big picture. I will be who I want to be and I will recognize how much I can impact that myself. What will you do in 2017?

Resolutions: How To Make the Most Out of 2017
Reviewed by Ariel Sullivan
on
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Rating: 5

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Ariel Reverie

My name is R-E-L and I am not a mermaid. My parents actually claim my name derived from REO Speedwagon and not the Disney movie that predated my birth, but they often like to tell stories. I am a Colorado native who enjoys film, poetry, screenwriting, photography, design, music, and religiously watching an assortment of television series. I am one half of a set of twins and I usually bring that up to make interesting conversation.