I Just Called to Say I Love You: Why Orthodox Jews Pray Every Day

February 09, 2011

One afternoon, about six years ago, when I called my husband at work, his secretary informed me that he hadn’t arrived that day. My heart pounded as my fingers instinctively dialed the numbers to his cell phone. When it went straight to voicemail, I was certain my worst nightmare had come true.

An hour, and many morbid thoughts later, my husband called me like nothing was wrong. Apparently he’d slipped into the office without his secretary seeing him and had been in a meeting all morning.

The worrying I did that day was some of the most justified worrying I have ever done. Much of the rest of it has bordered on insane. (A couple months ago I was convinced that my husband had died three times in a single day – three times before 11:15AM to be exact.)

My mother’s a worrier too. It’s why she calls at least once a day, every day. We don’t always have the most in depth conversation, but she checks in with my two sisters and me each day to find out a) How are you? b) How’s [insert son-in-law’s name]? c) How are the kids? She checks in like this before Shabbos and after Shabbos. Even when she travels abroad, she finds a phone nearly everyday just to get in those three basic questions.

Despite the fact that I’ve been out of her house for over a decade, my mother and I remain very close – almost like I never left, actually – and I believe a large part of this is due to the fact that we’re constantly speaking. Not every conversation is the most meaningful, but our regular talks ensure that we are always up to date with the goings-on in each other’s lives.

So when my 5 year old daughter recently asked why we have to daven (pray) every single day, I knew exactly what to tell her. “Can you imagine going a day without speaking to Mommy?” I asked. “We talk to Hashem all the time so we can be as close as you and I are.”

The most basic goal of Judaism is to establish a connection with the Almighty. One of the ways we achieve this closeness is by regularly “being in touch.” And just like with my mother’s and my conversations, not every single tefilah (prayer) is an earth-shattering experience. Sometimes prayer can even feel a bit humdrum.

But checking in regularly keeps God on our minds, and keeps the lines of communication open. So during those times when we really need help from Above, making the “call” comes easily and effortlessly. (And it never goes to voicemail.)

Comments

Want more great content like this delivered to your inbox? Sign up for our weekly newsletter here:

Share

49

49

Shares

Comments

very nice article; and a very good way to promote prayer. excellent discussion to have with a young child; it helps me to respond to my grandchildren. my own mother died when i was quite young, but my grandson, who i raised, and my disabled sister, are in touch with me every single day, sometimes several times a day and when i don’t hear from them, i worry. funny…thank you for this article.

Wow! What a beautiful and succinct way to explain davening. Makes me want to start praying again everyday (it’s hard when you’re raising a couple children, even one, to be honest). Your blog is fantastic. Keep ’em coming!!

It is definitely hard to formally pray every day while raising small children which is one of the reasons why women are exempt from formal prayer. What *is* doable and what I try to do every night before I go to bed (after I say shema) and once a week when I light Shabbos candles is to do “hisbodidus” which is free style davening.

No set lines or limits, just close your eyes, move your lips and pour out your heart. Those precious children of yours will surely benefit if their mama can take a quick moment every day to daven for their health, their happiness, and all the other things that are in a mother’s heart.

Great article. Thank you for sharing. I hope that all who believe in G-d pray at least once a day and not only when they are in trouble. The Vets who come home from war say “There are no Athiests in a fox hole.” I am going to share the article with my family. AWESOME STUFF!

JITC in the News

Lives We’ve Changed

I’m a Christian… I love JITC because it helps me to learn more about a culture I know basically nothing about. I’m a college student and, in part because of the curiosity about other faiths that your work instilled in me, I’m a religious studies minor. I want you to know that you are making a difference not only in the lives of Jews, but in the lives of gentiles as well.

Grace K.

I love Jew In The City!!! I’m a senior college student with a secular family and a very religious sister. I’ve been sending JITC episodes to my dad and aunt to help them better understand my sister’s Jewish decision. Thanks for tackling things that can be really tough to explain!

Mary

I love your blog and hope to see more of it. I saw your first episode on modesty and hair covering before I got married. You made it acceptable for me to become frum and I am now happily married with 2 beautiful kids. I cover my hair all the time, something I never thought I would do. Thanks so much for your blog and explaining orthodox life in everyday language.

Chava J.

I am so happy I found JITC… It has sincerely strengthened the relationship between me and my mother. I have recently become observant. Its been difficult to explain to my parents why I love Judaism & why I choose to follow certain laws now, however, JITC has been a great medium of explaining the Jewish faith that we never truly understood. JITC, you’re doing a great mitzvah!

Will

I have to tell you something about your video about headcovering–my husband and I had decided that we wanted to move towards more observance, but hadn’t really taken any big steps. And then I saw your video and it made such perfect sense; I started covering my hair full-time, and that one mitzvah has snowballed to tzniut, Shabbat, taharat hamishpacha, having a kosher kitchen. And it all started with your video…

Michelle

I am from a different world, a different religion, and when I say different, I mean it… I am an Arab, a Muslim who totally respects you and admires you and I mean it with all my heart. You are in a quest to break down stereotypes… and no matter how each of our backgrounds fear the other and view each other as the bad people, I am here to tell you, you have made me understand more and respect more.

Your fan from Kuwait

Whew! You have really opened my eyes to a lot. I am actually going to start studying with my local rebbetzin. Much of that has to do with you.

Barri

Your blog has such value. You are a huge positive influence for me becoming observant. You make it accessible.

Hannah

I really enjoy watching your videos. I’m Christian (not really religious though) and I live in Switzerland where most of the Jews are ultra-orthodox so they appear a little odd to Christians at first sight… But watching your blog brought me a whole different perspective. Most of the Mizwas that appeared pretty silly to me made actually a lot of sense after your explanation… Thanks for opening up my mind! Keep up with the good work!

P.S.

I tend to have a hard time hearing ‘the laws’ and the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘musts’…but I have to say, your wit and humor in getting these messages across got me listening. I watched every video on Youtube and immensely enjoyed each one. Looking forward to more of your stuff! Thanks for doing the work you are doing; Jew in the City is definitely on to something BIG.