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Barack Obama has be hailed “The Hero of the American Dream today”, after ending his truthful and inspiration speech by shouting:

“Yes We Can Do What Ever We Want – Why shouldn’t we give aid to the famine victims, we paid the earth to set it up – so we might as well watch their demise just a little bit longer!!!”

The buoyant mood was due to Americans being drawn back to their TV screen’s to watch blanket coverage of the latest famine victims; due to the Casey Anthony trial ending in a disappointing N.G..

Obama declared :

“Now that I’ve got you all where I want you, I might as well be honest –

“We’ve realised for a long time now about the threat to our National Security from Lesser Developed Countries, in that they will over populate and so not be able to feed themselves and so put pressure on our resources.

“That’s why we have taken action to fulfil the American Dream; That states :

” Control the oil and you control the nation; Control the food and you control the people” –

“I can now confirm that threat to our nation is decreasing rapidly worldwide, our measures of implementing war and famine have taken care of East Africa.

“They were dammed from the north and west to create the drought and famine, whilst this also dried up the food supply in the river and ocean to the east.

“Our food and flowers supply is not affected in any way though; as they are in irrigated areas well away from areas that will be hit when the dams break.

“Whilst we had our southern friends in Somalia to thank for the on going war to ensure there was no escape for them!”

“Similar measures are being carried out across the globe and on our own lands, though I can’t exactly recommend China’s method of choice – it is very effective and gets the job done, that’s all that matters!

Chairman Hu Jintao’s phone was immediately hacked in to by the NoW replacement:, Sun on Sunday (SoS), who recorded the following in conversation with an ancestor of Ghengis Khan.

“It was looking so suspicious with us building all the new dams in Africa – we were starting to look like the bad guys. Now when the expected earthquakes break the dams and kills half of East Africa they will have to pay us to rebuild them – job for life!

Now that everyone knows their arrogant guilt, lets get in there quick before they are bailed out – Get all your God Dam Mongols together and do what you Mongolians do best to Chinese Walls”