Teacher and studentsTeacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Snowman snowwomanWhat is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.

Bug in soupA boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

50 centYo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

EnvelopeQ: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

Man vs priestMan to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.