This bridal magazine’s wedding night tips went viral because they’re so weird The Poke

We’re grateful to someone called Adrianne Peltz for sharing this bridal magazine’s tips for happy couples who might not be sure what to get up to on their wedding night.

They went viral because they struck most people as exactly the sort of thing you probably shouldn’t be doing on your wedding night. Do they just need to get out more – or are these the worst wedding night tips imaginable?

And just to set the scene, the bit at the start where it assumes this is the first time the couple will have had sex, is the least weird bit.

I can’t stop thinking about this wedding magazine article about your wedding night, that (amongst others) legit suggests making a sex tape: pic.twitter.com/M4Gq47nVN2

The wedding night is the first time you will have sex with your brand-new spouse, so here are a few tips to ensure all goes according to plan!

Forget the Foreplay

Now, this is not something we would not [sic] usually advocate, but like the lingerie, foreplay is best saved for those long, lazy days and nights on your honeymoon – as are the lit candles and rose petals! The wedding night is definitely the perfect time for some fast love after a long day!

Captured on Camera

Hair on flex, insta-worthy make-p and no doubt months of shaping up – so if you’ve ever considered making a sex tape, then this could be the ideal time! After all, you will want to capture all the other memories of your wedding day on camera – so why not piece things up and record the wedding night as well!

Okay, okay, it’s got to be a spoof. But … apparently not. Here are some of our favourite things people said about it.

“but then, everyone else at the wedding has hair and make-up just right, and has been toning up, so if you ever wanted an orgy, on film ofc, this is the perfect time – bang the wedding party. Save that boring one-on-one stuff for the rest of your life.” – page 2, probably.

And just in case you were wondering, here’s how it plays out in real life.

“I’ve been drinking all day, I’m knackered, I’m annoyed at my dad for that weird thing he just had to fucking say in the speech didn’t he, my feet hurt, shall we make a sex tape?” https://t.co/m2z8YYUhNO