Im so fucking sorry

Struggling with the hate you now feel,
my mind weeps – while my body can no longer conceal…
the emotions felt and tears shared,
And all I wanted was to show you the I still cared.
If you only knew the pain at my disposal,
to turn my once thought proposal,
into a deserted land of a life once so hopeful.
The comfort of time is no promising thought,
turning from our years so lovingly fought,
into a present – I wish I could gouge my heart out and be left to rot