Tuesday, July 31, 2012

At my regularly scheduled twice weekly sporting activity, which I have been playing at since about 1987 or so, we end our games... every time... with handshakes, a "good game", "thank you" and sometimes a smile. (And I lose more often than I win.) That's just what we do. The thing about being Canadian is that we are good sports, we are apologetic and we fight fair. Although because of this, I often wonder how our collective competitive spirit is fostered with such a generally laid back attitude.

Where am I going with this? The Olympics are on. I have a t.v., but I don't have cable or satellite, so there is no watching of sports or the news. This is the way it has been for ten years now. So I check CBC coverage online just to see how it is going over there. The thing I used to like best about the Olympics is that the stories of Canadian athletes were usually surprises, or coming from behind or out of nowhere, or heartfelt stories about personal bests. When those personal bests ended up being a surprise medal, it was even better. Watching a Canadian earn a medal was like Christmas. Where am I going with this? I wasn't sure when I started with the original idea, but then tonight... I saw the beginning of a headline "8 Olympic Badminton players..." That was all they showed... so I was wondering what the heck it could be... Well... pretty sad.

Speaking of sad...

Many years ago something horrible happened at the Olympics. I was only a little kid at the time, and my memory from back then is scarce, to say the least. All I knew is that several athletes from Israel had been killed and it was absolutely awful. About the only thing I specifically remember from that time period was... oddly enough... sports day in kindergarten. Anyways... this year marks the 40th anniversary of that tragedy at the Olympic Games in Munich and you would figure that some words would be spoken to honour the memory of those killed. I guess not. Please tell me that this was reported incorrectly. Please tell me there was at least a moment of silence at the opening ceremonies.

Of course though, the sad thing is that if I didn't have access to the internet, none of this would have entered my daily consciousness. However, it did, so here it be.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Ripped off a piece of my toe today. (I was attacked by a sidewalk.) It wasn't that bad, just a balloon of blood bursting forth from a flap of flesh. Nice. In the past five or so years I have become very good at cleaning and dressing my own wounds, a couple of which, like today, have required more than just a band-aid. I actually prefer the gauze and tape. I did not know that a toe could bleed that much. Not looking forward to seeing what it looks like later.

***

Oh... was at the store today and whilst at the cashier, noticed a display with 1st and 2nd Degree Burn Doritos... They were on sale for 99 cents, so I picked up a bag of the 2nd Degree Burn Fiery Buffalo... Um... I like hot stuff, but this was... different... Usually things like wasabi, ginger or tabasco, hot peppers... it goes directly to the nasal passages... but these chips... the heat sat on the tongue... for a rather long period of time... AND my nose was running.

***

Last week I walked into a signpost. In the middle of the day. My excuse is that it was a narrow metal pole which blended in with the colour of the sidewalk. Or ... maybe the sun got in my eyes... yeah... that's it... it was the sun.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

I remember this little dude from watching Saturday cartoons when I was a kid, so I just went agoogling for the bit I remember of him with Foghorn Leghorn. Now, for some reason (the big round head and the oversized glasses), reminded me of an angry little girl I know, but upon having my memory jostled watching this, he sort of reminds me a little of me. (Just a little.) I had forgotten about that paper airplane bit...

So then ... that airplane reminded me of this.
Holy carp... All I did was go looking for Snoopy vs. the Red Baron and this caught my attention on the sidebar... I would not want to be ... er... his vocal chords... Hmmm... I am rather curious what the failure rate is.

Oh... and... earlier today checking out the usual suspects, there was a video over at the Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys that touched my heart... Yeah, gosh darn... I have an "admire from a distance" thing for BFGs (I use that as a generic term) and helicopters... not just tanks...

Very odd... Last time I was here on the blog, probably around midnight, there were 9370 visits showing on Sitemeter. When I came back on just now... 9364. It indicated that there had been 4 new visits, so the total should be 9374, which means that 10 visits have vanished from the Sitemeter record. I have a thing for numbers, and my memory for numbers used to be excellent, and is still very good compared to my memory for personal life history. If I recall correctly, there were 26,219 Blogger Pageviews when last I checked and when I looked just now there were 26,262. I do specifically remember there being 15 Blogger Pageviews for "today", and now there are 60. Hmm... I know that Sitemeter is more "sensitive" and that Blogger picks up ANY hits, but this just seems a little strange looking at it right now. The funny thing is that the disappearance of the 10 Sitemeter visits coincides with the 4 latest visits (plus one, after I was typing this up), which appear to be somewhat suspect in nature. Judging from the number of similarities to the differences of each, it might possibly be the same person scrambling IP addresses? I don't get that much traffic, so this is just me being curious.

Update: Jul 28 2012 10:25AM... I figured I would log in to Sitemeter and root around there. According to their "Knowledge Center" News/Announcements, they moved servers yesterday. That would explain the glitch/lost visits. The other thing that was odd is that the HTML code must have changed for the counter itself. It is no longer centered at the bottom of the page nor is it flush with the other meter's map above it.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Considering how bad the night before was, I went to bed early last night... Lights out before 1AM (wow!)... Still took a while to fall asleep, but... didn't wake up until ... (drum roll) ... 5AM... Went online for about half an hour and then managed to fall asleep again. Amazing.

***

Went to the store to grab a bag of Doritos and a slurpy. Was looking at the rows of candy and Sweet Tarts popped into my brain, but... I couldn't find them. However, on the rack I noticed Shockers... Same packaging, sounded good, so picked them up as well. Well... on the way home... I did something that will make you smile and wince at the same time... I opened the package (there was a purple one on the top...) popped it in my mouth... and ... gah! Doh... I had just taken a sip of the Pepsi Slurpy prior to that... A smile with a wince, but in a good way.

***

Hard-boiled some eggs about a week ago, as I had a hankering for an Egg Salad sandwich. The eggs in the fridge were well beyond a month past their "best before" date, so I figured it would be a good plan. Also had some Jalapeno Chips to go with, which makes for a perfect pairing. Added a tall glass of homemade Iced Tea and life was good.

***

Boiled up some water for a Double Bergamot Earl Grey Tea Latte (steaming hot) together with which I nibbled on two Ginger Thins, perfect for a quick but relaxing hot summer evening snack.

***

I don't know what is with my brain the last little while... Not that I am "scatter-brained" so to speak, but that my thoughts, if/when I do have them seem to be simply scattered. Sort of like cherry blossoms floating around in the wind, except not as pretty.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Having trouble sleeping for the past few days... although this is really nothing new (understatement). Was tired last night... but once again, soon as the lights were off... boom... wide awake. That was around 3AM. I woke up at about 6:30... then 7:30... then 8:30... (don't think I was really sleeping). Had closed my eyes, but no... nothing. As the day trudged on... dead tired. Anyways, back when I had turned the lights off... the only thing I could think of was, "The darkness beckons me to wake." There was a little more, but I didn't write it down at the time, as I was trying to go to sleep. I did add a bit more and just finished it, but now it comes across sounding like a nursery rhyme, albeit a rather blackened one.

The Darkness beckons me to wake,this weary soul of life partake
Clarity of thought returns
when heavy eyes the light forsakes.
Arise, arise, the black void cries.
Arise, arise, drink deep the night.
For what you seek you shall not find
in this labyrinth of your mind.
The Darkness beckons me to wake
I pray the lord my soul to take.

Yeah, I know... I know... It is a little dark... But hey... I was half dead today.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Whatever happened to books... books that you learned to read from. Was in a store yesterday and there was a kid reading a book... There were the usual pictures and words in said book, but also buttons that you press in order to hear the words to match the pictures, and to form sentences. Sounds all well and good. One of the sentences that came out upon the kid pressing the buttons? "The cat danced with the slippery fish on the moon." (I liked that one.) How about, "My teacher sat on the toad in the spaghetti." I can't remember the one with the cow, but it was pretty damn funny. Kids formative years... when they are most absorbent and receptive to learning... Sigh.

You live and then you die. What if the in between stuff isn't worth it? What if there IS no in between stuff? Effort after foolishness and all that rot. I've been wanting to say "I give up" so many times in the last little while, on this, that and everything, such that it has been sitting on the tip of my tongue, an unplayed prelude to a song without words. What came to mind just now is that the day "I give up" will be my last day on this planet. Why am I here?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

So... if you go out and eat two plates at the Chinese Smorgasbord and are rather stuffed, but decide to have a Fortune Cookie after you have finished eating, just because that is what you always do, you pick one out of the bin with the tongs, take it to the table and crack it open, pull out the fortune and put a piece of the cookie in your mouth and it is ... stale... (Read, chewy, crunchy, cardboardy stale.) If you don't eat the cookie, does that mean that the fortune won't be true? Damn...

I don't ever get fortunes like this. The thing is... do I want my dearest wish? Do I even have one?

I remember this from when I was a kid. Not something we had very often. Several months ago I bought a couple to keep in my low blood-sugar stash. I also have Sour Lemon Drops on hand, but today, in need of a boost, I tried the Razz Apple Magic Dip... and discovered that my lips and tongue were ... blue. Basically it is licking tangy blue sugar from a candy stick.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Comment today... Something to the effect of: You haven't had any comments lately. Your blog is kind of depressing. Uh... yeah... I'm struggling to find a reason for my existence in this world, so how do you think that translates to the blog? I just think it is amazing for me to still be here... that I even find something... anything... at all to post about. Substance has long since flown out the window.

I recall two dreams from this morning... The first, I was in a mall I didn't recognize getting an A & W burger and an orange smoothie... Not an Orange Julius, a real orange smoothie, which... I've never had before. It was good. The second dream I am quite sure I've had before (same or very similar) rather recently. I was in another mall I didn't recognize with an old friend. She had been there before and was purchasing three pies or cakes that looked absolutely delicious, but that I cannot remember. From the same kiosk, I tried some sort of creamy chocolate peanut butter ice cream which reminded me of this, that I have made once. Damn, that was fine.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Okay now... After THAT post, I stumbled upon a violinist playing the same Nirvana song with an orchestra. Just doesn't quite work for me. Then, I noticed something else... a piece of classical music I remember from many years ago. It had a dark, mischievous feel to it, which seems to be completely lost in this translation.

Oh yes... and he does many other songs, including stuff by Metallica, but I just couldn't. Apocalytica was acceptable, but for some reason, not this. And... um... no. I'm pretty laid back about the blending of musics, but that with violin ripping through it just doesn't seem... right. I see that he was a wunderkind, and it is good that he has the talent, ability and means to share his love of music, but ... (Is it just me?)

The title to this post is from the lyrics to this song. Although I heard it ages ago, I don't think I knew the actual words before tonight.

To me, glee would be someone with a big dumb grin on their face, jumping up and down, whilst clapping their hands. I don't think I could ever feel "gleeful". That being said however, it was with a wee bit of wicked glee wherein I mowed down those bright yellow heads waving happily in the wind today.

***

Preparing to work outside, I had swabbed down any areas of skin that would be exposed, with rubbing alcohol. This serves well to keep the mosquitoes at bay. I knew it was going to be hot, but I was more concerned about being eaten alive by those damn things, so, despite the sweat-inducing warmth, I wore my overalls, long socks, a long-sleeve white t-shirt and hat. Needless to say, at some point, I took the shirt off, but not for long, as we know those tiny beasts are attracted to the natural human glow that transpires. I was glowing buckets by that time. The funny thing is that even with all those clothes on, I did end up getting bitten... um... in the middle of my ass cheek. (Pardon my language, but those were the first words that came to mind.) So... I wonder... was it with a certain amount of glee that the little bugger went up my pant leg or down the top of the overalls and didn't bite me anywhere else? I just find that strange.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

So... a couple weeks ago I found out that Metallica is playing two days in Vancouver next month. It's one of those times where I thought ... wouldn't it be cool to see them again? Last time I did that? I ended up with two tickets to a Duran Duran concert, no one who could go and well... I still have those two tickets. I think I saw them eleven years prior to that. (Addendum: After I wrote this, I realized that that wasN'T the last time... The last time was KORN... I ended up sick as a dog with two tickets (which I can't find) and out over a hundred bucks. (That was when I had a real paying job.)

So... just on a lark, I went searching. The first night was already sold out by that time, but Saturday still had some available. For some reason, I could not see what tickets were left because I couldn't get past the damn two-headed dog (the stupid code that you type in to get beyond a certain point). I ended up agoogling for scalpers brokers and what I found was... uh... a little... crazy... One site had some listed from $89 to $179 all the way to ... get this... $506... PER ticket. This got me to wondering though... if the original ticket from the actual concert venue is sold and sent via email and then that person goes on to sell it online, what controls are there in place so that scams and phony duplicate tickets don't get re-sold? Just curious. And ... who the hell would pay $506 for a ticket? Who the heck average Joe HAS $506 to pay for a ticket? Crazy I say. If you look at the ticket stub above from 1997... it was $38.00. Not great seats, but not nose-bleed section either.

That was my immediate thought upon reading a little personal view regarding physics and the dimensions of space and time over here. Makes me wonder about the way my brain functions. Also brought back to mind the space between spaces.

I should be more tired than I am... I should be sleeping... But... I'm just ... hungry. Like... really hungry. Why I wonder. I ate plenty for dinner and even had dessert. Also had the delicious snack of carrots and peanut butter as I mentioned previously. So what is up? My head is tired, but the rest of me is awake and I feel like I could eat a ten ounce juicy steak... and baked potato with butter and sour cream and chives... and ... Gah! The sun will be up soon. (Oh... wait... it's already light out.)

Earlier today I read this and was thinking to myself what a cool story it was that the letters written by Steve Flaherty, a young soldier, before he was killed in Vietnam had been returned by the Vietnamese government (which had used them as propaganda during the war) and were finally delivered to the young man's surviving family... 43 years later... Initially that story in and of itself was interesting enough, but I have mentioned before my fondness for the written word and letters, so I read a bit more. Now... when I went to the linked article, there was a picture, and I was thinking to myself "he sort of looks like someone I might know". (As in Steve Flaherty, doesn't quite look completely Irish.) As I read the article, the story became even more interesting. He had been adopted from a Japanese orphanage in 1956, and had a Japanese mother and American father. He moved to the States with his new family and in 1967 at the age of 20, enlisted in the US Army. He was killed in action two years later, with the rank of Sergeant at the age of 22... The weird thing? He died on March 25... my birthday. Anyways... from the information provided, he would have been born in 1947, after the war (WWII) had ended... so I'm leaning towards love-child... Not that uncommon of a thing. It is my understanding that this occurred with two of my aunts who had been "repatriated" to Japan after the war. I have no idea if it is still taboo to talk about such things. Anyways... one of them didn't marry the Native-American soldier who was the father of her child and the other did marry her big blonde American GI. It is sad and funny in a way that I am more curious about this now that I am older. No... I think I was just as curious about it before, but now it just seems a shame that it is too late to discuss it. Hmm... I went on somewhat of a tangent there.

The first article I linked to was this and the next being excerpts from his letters. One of the lines quoted was “This is a dirty and cruel war but I’m sure people will understand the purpose of this war even though many of us might not agree.” He was probably 22 when he wrote that, and he was 22 when he died. His letters are a treasure.

(Note: Took me rather a long time to write this tonight and now that I've finished I can't think of what to call it. It is now almost 4AM and I want to post it.)

Sunday, July 15, 2012

So... around 6pm, I was on the bed with the laptop open and I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened my eyes, more than half an hour had passed. The weird thing is that in all that time I had my eyes closed, I could hear the desk fan going and the sound from outside of any cars that went by on the rain filled street. Oddly enough, I feel somehow rested. Was I really that tired to just crash like that? Or does the laptop being on the pillow next to me provide some sort of strange comfort zone? Hmm... I know this has happened once before, but it was sometime in the early AM, so I just chalked it up to being in need of sleep. Come to think of it, when I do finally go to bed with the intent of sleeping, I always close the laptop and place it on the desk next to the bed. Sleep very rarely comes quickly. So, hmm... I know people fall asleep watching tv, something I never did nor do, but the laptop as a sleeping aid?

A strange looking word neglect is. It came to mind today when I realized that we have had ten straight days of hot dry weather but that I haven't yet once watered any part of the garden. (I don't water the yard.) It rather shocked me. But then... if you think about it, neglect pairs well with a plate of "what's the point" and a dash of "why bother". Goes without saying that if you don't do a load of dishes for a week or two, what would happen to your garden? Out of mind out of sight, right? The thing is... that I have been out in the garden and looked right at it and touched parts of it, so why would I forget such a thing? I have come to the conclusion that it is due to the domino effect of neglect. It started off with life, the spirit, the mind, the body, then the soul... I knew that I was neglecting other parts of the yard and garden, but I didn't remember that it all needed water regardless of that other neglect. But then... I often forget to drink water myself. Forget... or not bother? Neglect.

What happens after neglect? Things fall apart. Technically things may have been falling apart before the actual neglect took effect. Things go from functioning efficiently to moderately to marginally to not functioning at all. Do you desperately cling to that one thing which seems to keep you afloat? What if you are in rough seas and in need of a lifebuoy but all you have is a set of waterwings? Treading water but you're losing consciousness and your arms and legs have gone numb? What then? Sink or swim. It's a no-brainer. But... what if you can't see the shoreline? What direction do you head in? I'm getting sleepy, I'm just going to close my eyes for a moment...

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Was rooting around for a song and once again, something caught my eye on the sidebar. Although country music is not my thing, I am glad I took a listen, because it ended up reminding me of someone... but not in a bad way. Then... another song, not country, but which was even more ... er... catchy. (Earworm Warning: You may find yourself walking down the street singing this one.)

I tried about three or four times to copy and paste the code, but only the empty cells showed up on screen, even though the words were definitely in the HTML code. So... I decided to just save the image instead. Anyways, it was an acronym word generator that I tried out. Good for a chuckle if nothing else.

Friday, July 13, 2012

I just commented the other day upon seeing a loaded logging truck, I wonder where they're still logging around here? A few days prior, I had seen another truck, but with considerably younger trees. This video is from a couple years ago, but I just found it posted over at the Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys. Very cool. I'd seen guys take down trees on the ground, but not on the side of a mountain before. The mountains looked so damn familiar ... wouldn't it have been funny if I'd recognized the guy with the chainsaw. (Aged father used to be a faller.)

Thursday, July 12, 2012

As the sun begins its descent into the western sky, the remnants of sunlight struggle through the tall evergreen outside my window. The wind wreaks havoc upon its journey, threading its way through the flailing fronds and the window's veil, to become a flickering light beneath the table. I sit looking at it almost mesmerized as the light's reflection dances before me. Soon... it fades and all that remains is a shadow where it once had been. I ponder this for some time. It begins to grow darker...Am I the flickering light or the shadow...

When I first found this blog, it was early yet in my internet journey and I think I may have posted a comment before I had read any of the backstory. I had no idea what the gentleman had been through and it wasn't until later that I found out, and a bit after that that I learned he was the impetus behind Project Valour IT at Soldiers' Angels.

I am rather fond of my laptop, being my first personal computer at home, and it has become not only a valuable and useful tool, but a companion of sorts. Imagine the value and usefulness of a voice-activated laptop to someone without the use of the necessary appendages. (Too blunt?)

Hit it all you want, but the lift will take as long as it will take no matter how forcefully you press the button. You are more alert during your waking hours and this means that you can see exactly how you are managing to throttle your fish to death. The life of a party you most certainly aren't this weekend. (From Laughsend.)

Why yes... I have been more alert in my waking hours as of late. And yep... there's that damn fish again.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

These were the first three words that came up in the Random Word Generator just now. I didn't have a clue as to what I was going to do with them, but this is the first thing that came to mind and ... it works.

Went to go grab something to eat and have a picnic a deux in the backyard with big sister earlier. Out there for less than ten minutes and had seven mosquitoes land... There are now seven less of the little buggers in the world. The river is still high and high water usually means more mosquitoes, but the month of June was unseasonably cold, so the bloodsuckers weren't an issue until the hot weather kicked in. I believe we are now in our fifth straight day of beautiful sunny (finally) humid (blech) niceness. Haven't yet brought the little desk fan out, but it didn't cool down much last night as it usually does, so may have to go upstairs and bring it down here so at least there will be some air circulating. (Yeah, I've been here ten years now and I haven't had the old windows replaced and I still don't have screens in them. Sigh.)

Received this in an email yesterday, courtesy of Edna, but had to leave the photos out:

You've heard them called "dumb animals"
but these particular ones are amazingly intelligent creatures.
With a "sixth sense" that is beyond our comprehension.

Lawrence Anthony, a legend in South Africa and author of 3 books including the bestseller The Elephant Whisperer, bravely rescued wildlife and rehabilitated elephants all over the globe from human atrocities, including the courageous rescue of Baghdad Zoo animals during US invasion in 2003.

On March 7, 2012 Lawrence Anthony died.

He is remembered and missed by his wife, 2 sons, 2 grandsons, and numerous elephants. Two days after his passing, the wild elephants showed up at his home led by two large matriarchs. Separate wild herds arrived in droves to say goodbye to their beloved man-friend. A total of 20 elephants had patiently walked over 12 miles to get to his South African house. Witnessing this spectacle, humans were obviously in awe not only because of the supreme intelligence and precise timing that these elephants sensed about Lawrence's passing, but also because of the profound memory and emotion the beloved animals evoked in such an organized way: Walking slowly - for days - making their way in asolemn one-by-one queue from their habitat to his house. Lawrence's wife, Francoise, was especially touched, knowing that the elephants had not been to his house prior to that day for well over a year! But yet they knew where they were going. The elephants obviously wanted to pay their deep respects, honoring their friend who'd saved their lives - so much respect that they stayed for 2 days 2 nights. Then one morning, they left, making their long journey back home.

I went agoogling and found one of the original articles here, and one from a few days later here. I highly recommend watching the video in the second (CBC) link. Yesh, it brought a tear to my eye... Must have been something to do with the trauma of watching Dumbo as a kid.

Was listening to a little bit of this (Metallica) and a little bit of that (StaticX) and some Billie Holiday tonight and went agoogling for one of the songs. Found it, but also found the rather cool session with Wynton above. (Yes, that is an accordian in there.) Not really my style of jazz, but it is interesting listening to the interpretation / arrange-ment.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

... it's good... Way more intensity and texture than this (a mainstay)and I would consider it much too special to use for this treat. Oh... and I had mentioned in previous post that I had purchased an "Almost Perfect" bag of it. I noticed that the regular price is $8.95 for 14 pieces... the bag I got was $4.31 with probably at least that many in it. The only thing "wrong" with them is that they are broken, i.e. not quite perfect. I say "bah" to perfect in a pretty box.

... not tired. I've been up for 21 hours straight. I had gone to bed at a reasonable hour again last night... just after 1AM... Woke up at 3:43... Then woke up at 5:33... Was going to try to go back to sleep just after 6, but was too awake to even try. Now... this can be considered a good sign or a bad sign. First off, I was motivated to get moving. Good. I didn't sleep much. Bad. I wasn't tired. Good. I got up, got ready and walked briskly to the pool... Good, and swam a few laps... not many, but ten is better than none. Good. Walked to McDonalds... Good, and had my Sausage Egg McMuffin meal... Good. Bad. Walked to the grocery store... Good, picked up vegetables... Good, fresh French bread... Good. Bad, and a home decor magazine... Good. Bad. Walked home in the hot sun... Good and Bad... with two bags of groceries and backpack. Got hot and sweaty. Showered and walked to the old office job to get a couple things done... Good. Walked over to friend's shop and changed her entire window display... Good. Tagged along on a last minute roadtrip wherein I bought a bag of "almost perfect" Chili Pepper Chocolate (ate one piece)... Good.Bad, splurged on a small order of New York Fries with the Works... Good. Bad.Bad, as well as a Mocha Moo Latte... Good. Bad.Bad. Got back... had a Value pick Bacon Cheeseburger and small fries from McDonalds. Good.Bad. Drank two glasses of water tonight. Good. I count 11 Good and 10 Bad. So, all in all, not bad.

The thing is that the past three or four days have been considerably odd... out of sorts, mind-body detached-like, zoned out, gutwrenchingly twisted, zombie-ish, but all for no apparent reason. Usually this type of thing lasts for maybe five minutes or 15 at most, but not even close to that extreme. It was as if something was twisting me up or pulling and pushing me in different directions at the same time. No excessive thinking, which would be a natural cause. The complete opposite in fact. And then yesterday some clarity returned and it was almost as though a weight was lifted, leading to today's strange energy, which I haven't really had in about two years... I guess all one can do is see what tomorrow today brings.

I shall endeavour to sleep now as my eyes seem to be wanting to close finally. About time... closer to 22 hours now.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Listened to a few more CDs in the getting rid of stack today. I was thinking that I might be the only person who would listen to Gloria Estefan and Megadeth in the same day. Now... the thing is, I do remember some of Gloria's songs, but I don't remember any by Megadeth (and I've found three of their CDs in my collection so far). However... I do remember why I couldn't quite get into them ... Just something about the lead singer's irritating voice and the oft extensive high pitched guitar solos, but the music does hold some merit, although a tad too frenetic or "busy" for me now. The song I posted is not their standard sound, and I found it had a certain appeal tonight. Oh... and the beginning of it reminded me of something that I am more familiar with and much more fond of.

Last week I picked up Blueberry Scones from the bakery... OMG... they were so soft and fluffy and chock full of blueberries... Slathering margarine (butter would be better, but still) on them added a smooth creaminess to the fluffy ... Sigh... This past weekend, it was Cheese and Raisin Scones... There was a light sprinkling of raisins and cheese in them, which added just a modest touch of flavour in each bite. The raisins were so plump and sweet that more probably would have been a bit overwhelming. Now, these scones, I had a hard time deciding if they were better nuked or toasted... It was a bag of six, so I had to freeze four of them, as they are best fresh out of the bag. (Freezing them right away maintains the existing texture.) Sliced them in half beforehand for ease of separation right out of the freezer. Still can't decide. Nuking them allowed the fluffiness to remain in full effect, but toasting left them with a crisp exterior and fluffy interior, which provided that little bit of extra texture that I like... Either way, the last one disappeared tonight.

My head hurts... and feels... heavy... ringing... almost throbbing. Everything seems to be going in slow motion... dragging... as if in a haze or daze. The oft used word "lost" doesn't seem to encompass the feeling... It is more as though I simply wandered away from myself for far too long and cannot find my way back. It is taking a while to re-attach. My brain has effectively shut down.

(Funny, I was going to call this "Detached", but a search indicates that I have already used it. So... I figured "Disconnected"... Jiminy crickets.)

I'm going to try and go to sleep early again. Been sleeping a wee bit better, but it doesn't seem to be helping at this point... yet.

You ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something... BIG... huge... life-altering is going to happen? And then... BAM... nothing? I think my human version of the doppler radar needs to be recalibrated. Of course though, as time passes, I find that isn't an indication of a forthcoming catastrophic change, but rather that something is simply ... just... wrong.

At present, this river and the one it empties into are overflowing their banks, but I haven't been down there to check it out. This pic is from late in the afternoon some summer in the 90s. That tree stayed like that for years... and that boulder was a great perch. I knew that I had posted a couple pictures taken whilst standing in the middle of that river before, but for the life of me I couldn't find them searching through the blog, so checked Google images... Go figure... the post was called "Monday Sappy Crap".

Sunday, July 1, 2012

I've always known that there was an empty space in me... or in my life. I knew that it was an empty space, but it never really mattered. That empty space was just a part of who I was. Although I was well aware that that empty space was there, I never felt as though I was missing something.
It wasn't until I became the empty space, that the edges of that empty space frayed, blurring the lines between life, existence and nothingness.

"We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want." (Lao Tzu)

Yes, it is the day to celebrate the birth of our country, but I also wish to honour the memory of all those who were willing, able and determined to forge a life in this great country, to sacrifice of themselves and to fight for the freedom we cherish today.

I walk down the street whilst a light rain falls. I turn the corner and stop. As I look down the avenue lined by aged evergreens, the sun peeks through just a touch, to illuminate the raindrops that now appear to be light crystals falling from the treetops. The cherry blossoms are flying upon the cold wind and in the distance, the snow kissed mountains sit silently.

At some point during the day...

Always liked this song by Incubus. "I Miss You"

HAVE I GONE TOTALLY DAFT and SAPPY? Nope. I found this video on YouTube and it made me smile. i.e. "If I promise not to kill you, can I have a hug?"

Need a smile?

Banana
I have had the Minions "Banana" clip here for a few years, but lately it has switched to "Autoplay", when the blog is loading, but I don't see it in the embed code, so I've just removed it today. Dec 11, 2016