People had wild theories about what we did with the
bodies. Elderly women would call the crematory, their voices shaky and slightly
confused.

“Westwind Cremation and Burial, this is Caitlin,” I
would answer.

“Hello, dear, I’m Estelle,” said one woman. “You are
going to cremate me when I die. I have the paperwork with your company and it’s
all paid for. But I saw a thing on the news this morning about you all burning
the bodies together dear, is that right?”

“No, ma’am, everyone is cremated on their own here,” I
said firmly.

“They said you put a pile of bodies on a bonfire and
there is a big pile of ashes afterwards and you just scoop from that pile,”
Estelle said.

“Ma’am, I’m not sure who ‘they’ are.”

“The news people,” she said.

“Well, I promise they aren’t talking about us here at
Westwind. Everyone gets their own serial number and is cremated alone,” I
assured her.

She sighed. “Well, OK dear. I’ve lived so long and I’m
just real afraid about dying and being left in a pile of bodies.”

Estelle wasn’t alone in her fears. One woman called to
ask if bodies were kept hanging on meat hooks in the refrigerator like sides of
beef. An enraged gentleman informed me we shouldn’t be charging for a sea
scattering because all that meant was “dumpin’ the ashes in the toilet with a
packet of salt and flushing.”

It broke my heart to hear them, even the ones who were
screaming at me. Holy crap, you’ve been thinking
that? I thought. You think you’re going to die and be hung on a meat hook
before being thrown into a bonfire of corpses and flushed down the toilet?

South Africans need to be on high alert about two new
crime trends – according to an “urgent message” shared on Facebook.

It warns: “If you find a child crying on the road
showing his/her address and asking you to take him/her to that address,
immediately take that child to the police station and please DO NOT take the
child to the address.

“This is a new way to gang rape women and girls, rob
and kill men and boys.” […]

Africa Check had no luck calling the numbers listed on
the warning. The first number was permanently engaged and the second no longer
exists. We also could not find the landline number listed on the police
services website.

And when we tried to track down the “Lt Col. MJ
Krugel” that supposedly issued the warning, we discovered that people had been
trying to verify the authenticity of this message as early as 2011. […]

If potholes and rocks weren’t enough, South African
motorists are now being urged to avoid driving over oranges.

Arrive Alive recently tweeted an image of oranges
riddled with nails.

The road safety organisation advised motorists to
“avoid driving over oranges on [a] road or motorway” as it may be a “possible
tactic of criminals”. The image was shared over 2,400 times on the
organisation’s Twitter and Facebook accounts. […]