Sunday, 27 November 2005

"I'm worth a million in prizes"

Here is something vaguely interesting....if you take the lyrics to Girls Girls Girls (Liz Phair that is, not Motley Crue) which are as follows:"You've been around enough to knowThat if I want to leave, you better let me goBecause I take full advantage of every man I meetI get away almost every dayWith what the girls call, what the girls callWhat the girls call, the girls call murderYou've been around enough to seeThat if you think you're it, you better check with meBecause I take full advantage of every man I meetI get away almost every dayWith what the girls call, what the girls callWhat the girls call, the girls call murder"

to German then back to EnglishThey around enough were to know to that, if I liked to go you leave me go to improve, because I draw full use from each man, who I keep to away nearly each day with meet which the girls designate, which the girl call which designates the girls, who were girl call murder you around enough to see to that, if you think you are it, you, improve examination with me, because I draw full use from each man I keep away nearly each day with meet which the girls designate, which the girl call which designates the girls, the girl call murder

to Italian then back to English You have been around enough for knowing that if I wish to go, improved the left ones to go Since I draw maximum advantage from every man who I come it to contact of I obtain via nearly every day with that what the girls call, than what the call who what the girls call, the girls call homicide you have been around in order seeing that if thoughts you are it, you of the girls enough improve me control with Since draw maximum advantage from every man come it to contact of obtain via nearly every day with that what the girls call, than what the call who what the girls call, the homicide of the girls of calling of the girls

to french than back to englishYou have be around enough to know that if I want to leave, you improve leave me to leave since I benefit fully from each man that I meeting obtain far almost each day with what girls call, which it call of girls what the girls call, girls murder of call you have étées around enough to see that if you think are him, improve you control with me since I benefit fully from each man I meeting am obtained far almost each day with what the girls call, which it call of girls what the girls call, the murder of call of girls....(that was almost the murder of call girls!)

to Dutch then back to english (my favorite so far)You are around enough are to to know that if I want leave you, improve me, late go because I take complete advantage of each people that I, I become gone almost each day with what little girls have met clamour, what little girl question what little girls call, the assassination of the little girl question, you have been round enough to see that if you you thinks it is, check you improve with me because I take complete advantage of each people that I, I become gone almost each day with what little girls have met clamour, what the little girl question what the little girls call, the little girls assassination call

then that last version to Spanish and back to English againYou are around enough must to knowledge that if desire licenses you improves to me you go late because volume complete advantage of each people that I go away almost every day with what small girls have solved the outcry, what small question of the girl what small girls call, the murder of the small question of the girl you have been around enough considering that if you who you think are, verify to him improve with me because volume complete advantage of each people who I go away almost every day with what small girls have solved outcry, what the small question what the small girls call, the small call of the girl of the murder

These are the sorts of things I copy and paste to avoid writing about my personal life. All day long at work I was bored and obsessed over what the hell is going to become of me...I need good dumb fun right now and lots of it.

Thanksgiving was very emotionally draining, I drank too much and I think everyone else did too, for no one seemed to notice how drunk I was. Then at the end of the night I was at my sister's and they were watching a Charlie Brown thanksgiving special and Snoopy gave Woodstock turkey. My bro-in-law said "wouldn't that make him a cannibal" and I said mom's parrot would eat chicken. My sister said "Oh yeah, mom's parrot is dead, but don't tell her." What? She's dead, she chewed through some electric cord and died. My mother gave this parrot, who was becoming kind of mean due to the fact that parrots require a lot of attention and there was no one around to care for her in the day time after my father died. She could be very aggravating because although she could speak and sing a little she preferred to squawk loudly. She even bit my mother on the lip. My mother gave it to a friend of her cousin's who had other birds to keep her company. So we thought we were doing it for the best and then the idiot lets that happen. So I feel really bad about it, she was annoying but it was because she was unhappy (my mother had bought her when I was a kid and before my father ever got sick so at the time she was a stay at home mom.) So because I was drunk and tired I started crying over the parrot. The last time I ever saw the parrot was the day the man was coming to pick her up. And I waggled my finger at her, she tipped her head way to the side so I could scratch her below her chin where the feathers were very soft. Poor thing. She had a fucked up life. I wish I had been older and understood better why she acted the way she did when my mother went back to work, and I could have been more sympathetic instead of annoyed at it. This time of year always brings back that when my dad got sick it really threw everything about our lives into turmoil and we all did the best we could to soldier on but I think now it's still catching up to us all. Things we missed. Things we should have done when we could have. People and things that we should have treated kinder. I think when we die we should go right back to the beginning knowing what we know already and try and undo the fucked up parts.

I don't know how they are going to go around not telling my mother the parrot died...what if she asks? "It's pining for the fjords." She will feel guilty for giving it to that man.

Sorry for semi-incoherent remarks...

"I’ve been hurting since I’ve bought the gimmickAbout something called loveYeah, something called love.Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens."i can't stop listening to Iggy Pop this week"Well, I never got my license to liveThey won't give it upSo I stand at the world's edgeWell, I'm trying to break inOh no, it's not for meAnd the sight of it allMakes me sad and illThat's when I wantSome weird sinThings get too straightI can't bear itI feel stuckStuck on a pinWell I'm trying to break inAnd I know it's not for meAnd the sight of it allMakes me sad and illThat's when I wantSome weird sinThat's when I wantSome weird sinJust to relax withThat's some dumb weird sinFor a while anywayWith my head on the ledgeThat's what you get out on the edgeSome weird sinThings get too straightI can't bear itI feel stuckStuck on a pinI'm trying to break inOh, I know it's not for meWell, the sight of it allMakes me sad and illThat's when I wantSome weird sinThat's when I wantSome weird sinJust to relax withThat's some dumb weird sinFor a while anywayWith my head out on the ledgeThat's what you get out on the edgeSome weird sinSome weird sin, some weird sin"Iggy Pop and David Bowie yessiree

1 comment:

hyena
said...

i guess this goes towards explaining your enthusiastic agreement with my drunken disgruntled statement about the holidays. exile in guyville is a great album and i find this post to be utterly hilarious. i think you could actually cull an entire song out of the gibberish. ta-ta. oh yeah, sorry about the parrot. i personally don't like birds but i completely understand not being aware of an attachment to an animal untill they're gone.

aboot:

I am a slacker, and married, and grouchy but I love life.
I love photography and writing and internet crap and reading and cats and beer. and anything that makes me laugh out loud. and Indian food. I love honest people and I find mean people inexplicably fascinating. Like, seriously, what crawled up your ass and died? I love to sing but I sound like shit. I easily retain song lyrics but not important information. I hate phones but love writing and I like the internet because it is like having a yearbook/scrapbook forever.