As any grizzled newspaper copy editor will tell you, shit ain't real until the AP Stylebook says so. Taken as a whole, a year's worth of Stylebook updates is a kind of warped mirror to world events; you can tell which stories took up the most ink and/or pixels by taking a look at what the Stylebook committee felt the need to clarify. And all these updates are made by committee — so you can imagine the hand-wringing that went into clarifying the proper usage of "unfriend."

JANUARY | The year started in catastrophe, and in the midst of staggering human tragedy the Stylebook made sure we were fully informed: PORT-AU-PRINCE, it instructed us, is pronounced "port-oh-PRIHNS."

FEBRUARY | Stylebook beat the midwinter blues with classy binge-eating, updating us on ARTISANAL ("refers to foods and drinks produced in small batches") and ORGANIC ("a federally regulated food labeling item . . . produced without using most conventional pesticides"). Whatever — it's all going the same place, foodie.

MARCH | The iPAD, we learned, is "much like an iPod but is larger." Despite Steve Jobs's love for interCapping, the Stylebook noted, it is okay to make the "i" uppercase when the word starts a sentence or headline. As in: "IPads are just like big iPods."

APRIL | At least 15 years after the rise of Geocities, the Stylebook finally conceded that WEBSITE is a compound word, like "rainbow," or "newspaper," rather than the stodgier, curmudgeon-preferred "Web site." The 'Book noted: "Also, WEBCAM, WEBCAST, and WEBMASTER." Nonetheless, the Phoenix news section continues to use "Web site." Because we're curmudgeons.

MAY | FAISAL SHAHZAD's name, the 'Book informed, is pronounced "FY'-sul shah-ZAHD," not "that fuckup who can't even wire a bomb properly."

JUNE | Summer brought us entries for VUVUZELA ("Plastic horns used by fans at World Cup games in South Africa"), as well as a slew of social-media terms: AVATAR, CLICK-THROUGH, HASHTAG, LIVEBLOG, UNFRIEND, WIKI, and many more. Clearly the Stylebook staff spent most of its summer indoors. The Stylebook also added an entire section on the journalistic use of social-networking sites, explaining "how to verify sources found through social media." What, are you saying we can't source facts to "anonymous" on 4chan anymore?

JULY | Nothing for July. Apparently the Stylebook staff were all off at the journalism beach . . .

AUGUST | . . . But they made up for it in August, a month in which the Stylebook noted that FOODBORNE is an adjective — possibly the result of a beach luau gone awry? — and also added an entry for WYCLEF JEAN: "Hip-hop artist launching a bid for the presidency of Haiti." We wonder how long that definition will linger.

SEPTEMBER | This month, the Stylebook clarified the usage of PORTZEBIE, FURSHLUGGINER, and FWADDAPP! — oh, wait, that was the Fake AP Stylebook. We assume JILZOST is still okay.

OCTOBER | A momentous month! If the Stylebook hadn't updated its entry on the current GREAT RECESSION "to include a reference to its end in June 2009," how would we have known it was over?

NOVEMBER | In a long-overdue update, the Stylebook noted the difference between MIDGET and DWARF. Takeaway: don't call a dwarf a midget. And the plural is "dwarfs," not "dwarves," for you Tolkien-reading, D&D-newsletter-editing nerds.

DECEMBER | The year ends with two depressing updates: the preferred usage of both CYBERBULLYING and TEA PARTY. Clearly, Stylebook is trying to tell us that this year, the country has become overrun with assholes.

Heart of gold How can someone make so many movies for so long and still be such a nice guy? Once again, the Coolidge Corner Theatre is giving its Coolidge Award to a filmmaker who genuinely deserves the recognition. Hollywood seldom turns out anyone as good-natured, talented, and eclectic as Jonathan Demme.

Review: How To Train Your Dragon Animation directors Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders have fashioned a family entertainment that functions as a copy of James Cameron’s most successful film of all time.

Review: John Carter Like its four-armed Tharks and its ten-legged Calot, this adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs's series of sci-fi novels has too many moving parts for its own good.

Photos: Tea Party Rally and Counter-Protest at Boston Common As the Mass Tea Party Coalition rallied at Boston Common on Sunday, April 15th, a group of approximately 60 activists held a counter-protest. The counter-protest called attention to the Tea Party's anti-gay sentiments, specifically protesting the afternoon's appearances by Scott Lively and Brian Camenker. Rick Santorum was originally scheduled to speak, but did not. Three protesters were arrested.

The Road to 2012: The New New Hampshire For Mitt Romney and other likely presidential contenders, 2011 will be a busy year of campaigning and preparation for the first caucuses and primaries of the nominating process in early 2012.

MICHAUD FOR GOVERNOR | November 03, 2014 However you’ve been following the race for Governor this election season, you’ve been hearing it from all sides, so we’ll make this one brief. We urge you to vote for Michael Michaud.

ADVANCED BEAUTY LESSONS | November 03, 2014 Described as a “body-positive visibility project,” Portland’s Jack Tar 207 is all about representation. Models are encouraged to bring their own clothing and personal belongings to the shoot, which owner-designer LK Weiss says brings out “a level of confidence that many people don’t feel in front of a camera.”

LITERALLY LGBT | October 31, 2014 A community-compiled list of important GBLTQ works through the years.

BACK TO REALITY | September 18, 2014 If you’re a student in southern Maine and are at all interested in arts and humanities, and have a budget of exactly $10 to spend on any one event, there’s a lot in your favor.