CONGRATSYOU MADE IT THROUGH 2017. YOU DIDN'T EXPECT TO. NO ONE DID. BUT YOU DID.YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS DIRTY SANTA 2017 IS FUCKING ON

1) Submit to me the following information:Mailing NameFull Mailing AddressWhat do you LIKEWhat do you DISLIKEWhat do you ALREADY HAVE THAT YOU THINK SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO SEND YOUCan you ship INTERNATIONALLYAre you in for ONE or TWO

Please do not overstretch yourself. If you can't ship internationally, don't. If you can't swing two, say one. I'll cover any oddities and mixups, so everyone can just focus on what they can do.

2) On December 1st, I will mix these up, and draw from one of my hats, YOUR MATCHES.

3) I will give this person, the form above! They will use this to construct a gift compsed of used items, odds & ends, and various other things. We're all kind of poor around here, it's fine. Or they'll just throw together a bunch of stuff for you.

4) Christmas comes around! Open your gifts! Share pictures! Share stories! Complain that you didn't get yours and wait for our usual lateness to creep in over the year!

Following Mongrel's lead on this one. I have no idea how to santa, but I'm pretty sure they don't want a used copy of the 2002 breakout gripping page-turner Excitation-Contraction Coupling and the Cardiac Ryanodine Receptor by 'Chucky' Antzelevich, or a carefully curated bagged collection of Jake and Tinkweed toenail sheddings.

Placeholder for something witty that doesn't make me sound like an asshole