I am a female, age 17 and I am a senior in High School. I am attending art school for photography and spend a great deal of time taking pictures. That as well as many other things have led me to no longer write fanfiction. I am truly sorry, and I always hated it when authors would put their stories on hiatus with no expectation of coming back, but that's what I'm doing. I am very sorry.

Favorite three fanctions are Returning Echoes, Dark Humor, and Full Circle

Favorite quotes(Newest at top. ) "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."

"Hey, things were busy. We sort of had immediate problems." Sam "Save it for the next family Christmas dinner, at which I will pointedly refuse to speak to you or pass the yams." Balthazar Use Your Illusions 7

"My God, you guys are even worse after getting laid." Bobby "I thought that getting laid was supposed to make us more bearable. I apologize if I did anything incorrectly. Perhaps we should return to the motel and try again." Castiel Use Your Illusions 7

"Angels are abstracts; they're ideas. The idea of "messenger", the idea of obedience, of strength, of glory, glory to the Lord. Castiel is the idea of saffron – the smell, the taste, the feel, the look. He is the idea of Thursday – Thor's Day. Thunder's Day. The distant growling rumble that warns of an oncoming storm; the crack that splits the air like an angry shout; an admonishment to those who'd disobey." A Measure of Pain

"Are you a vegetarian because you love animals or because you hate plants?" Priestly Ten Inch Hero

“I think angels playing peek-a-boo in the ammo store is jumping right to the top of my list of weird-but-awesome crap that I’ve seen in my lifetime.”Dean

"You will address me as Professor Crowley, or, should you wish to get on my good side, Doctor Crowley. I will also accept ‘your majesty,’ ‘holiest of holies,’ and ‘God.’”Crowley Cold Academic Hell 5 A-Side

“No one? How about you, there, with the rosary? I hate to say it, but if you’re taking this class to become closer to Jesus, you’re going to be very disappointed.” Crowley Cold Academic Hell 5 A-Side

“You still wanna break my face?” Dean “No, not at this moment.” Sam 7x07 The Mentalists

"Castiel was often confused by the Winchesters."

"Before you go off on some carefully planned rant full of thinly veiled threats, I know why you called me here," Balthazar "You know why we called you here?" Sam "Yes, yes. Wayward angel and all that. Did I ever tell you about the wonderful summer I spent in Rome, sucking olives from a dark haired beauty's navel? Hmm, good times, you should try it one day." Balthazar "Balthazar, we don't have time this," Sam "You should make time, I'm fascinating. No one ever seems to appreciate that." Balthazar Memories of You And Me Ch5

"What, you didn't think Castiel was the only badass angel did you? I tell you, no one appreciates me." Balthazar Memories of You And Me Ch5

"Get off of me!" Dean "That's not how you playyyy. I'm gonna sit on you until you say your feelings." Sam "If you don't get off me I'm gonna shoot you." Dean "Those aren't feeling words." Sam "Fine. I feel like if you don't get off me, you're gonna feel my foot up your ass." Dean

"How does it feel to stand on the very stones, that ran with your parents blood? Do you feel sad? Full of rage? Or does that outfit help bury your feelings, hiding your true self. You are truly an extraordinary specimen. I look forward to breaking you."

"Teaching Angels about freedom was much like trying to teach poetry to fish." Cas S6Ep20 The Man Who Would be King

"God want you to have freedom." Cas "What does he want us to do with it?" "If I knew then, what I know now, I might have said, 'It's simple, freedom is a length of rope, god wants you to hang yourself with it'." Cas S6Ep20 The Man Who Would Be Kind

"My only weakness, is knowing your secrets and holding them close, and hold them tight. I know the way to silently make you smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight."

When You Find Me‎"You enjoy the debate team?” “Yeah, it’s cool.” “And it has lots of members?” “Quite a few, I guess.” “Mm-hm. So... you do a lot of mass debating, then?”

“Dean, look, I just finished typing up our wedding invitations, read them over.” Cas “NO.” Dean “Why? Dean, this is a very special day and I don’t know whether I’m being polite or pissing on everybody’s life.” Cas tumblr

" Do you realize how much work I have to do now, Sammy? Do you? Because I think it’s safe to say that I can kiss goodbye to my social life for the next decade. God, this was a horrible idea. A horrible, horrible idea. And he’s coming over tomorrow night to help me study for my science make-up test. It’s like… it’s like I bought a puppy or something. Yeah, it’s like I bought a puppy, and it seemed like a good idea at the time but now it’s taken over my life and it’s eaten my favorite shoes and I can’t go out anymore because it’ll pee in my bed. Yeah! Castiel is like a disruptive puppy!” Dean Jump The Track Ch4

"We're going to the story. Store*" Alex "If you're going to the story make sure you pick me up some intriguing characters, solid plot and a surprise twist ending." Eric

"Uh, yeah. Lisa wants us go on a double date with Cas and her friend Angela." Dean"Let me guess, afterwards the four of you will watch 'Steel Magnolias' and then your periods would synchronize?" Sam Freedom Comes Naturally ch 2

"Oh you're just so adorable Dean." Sam "Fuck you very much Sam." Dean"Is that a way to treat your brother?" Sam "You're not my brother, tonight… You are Hulk." Dean "…Your argument is valid, I accept it." Sam That's Not My Name pt 3

"You look like a five years old, Dean!" Cas Dean’s response was to stick his tongue out at him. "Very mature Mr Winchester." Cas "Don't Mr Winchester me, it makes me look old." Dean"You are old!" Cas "But still hot!"Dean That's Not My Name pt 3

"Hello." Castiel "Hello?" Sam "Yes." Castiel "Hello?" Sam "That is still the correct word?" Castiel "I've been trying to call you for weeks, Dean calls once and suddenly it's hello?" Castiel "Dean and I do share a more profound bond." Dean

"Cas is busy, he doesn't live in my ass. AH! Cas get out of my ass." Dean "I was never in your..." Cas

"I read once that drinking was dangerous, so I gave up reading." The Christmas Cottage

"Why are you explaining your porn to me...WHY AM I LISTENING!" Adam Lundregen

"Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down as a self-evident proposition that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedom. The maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim."

"When a door closes, a window opens!...Actually if that saying were true, building security would be a fucking nightmare..."

"Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because it's changed since I last saw you." "I saw you 20 minutes ago. You need to stop this!"

“Everyone has a secret they haven’t shared. Everyone has a past no one’s heard about. Everyone has talents that people don’t notice. Everyone has weaknesses hidden inside. Everyone has a story left untold, so never start judging someone thinking you know them back to front. Because the truth is, you probably don’t.”

"Did you grow up on a chicken farm, cause you sure know how to raise cocks."

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

"Tie them together piglet. Can you tie a knot?" Rabbit "I can not." Piglet "Ah, so you can knot." Rabbit "No, I can not knot." Piglet "Not knot?" Rabbit "Who's there." Pooh "Pooh." Rabbit "Pooh who?" Pooh "Ah, piglet we need more then two knots." Rabbit "Not possible." Piglet "So it IS possible to knot those pieces." Owl "Not these pieces." Piglet "Yes, knot those pieces." Pooh "Why not?"Piglet "Because it's all for knot." Eeyore

"You need to pick up your self esteem and get to work." Mom "What are you talking about, I'm fabulous."

"Do you fish? I hate fishing..I hate fish. Hate the taste, hate the smell, hate all the little bones." Atlantic: The Lost Empire

"Before Harry, the Twins had found the Mirror of Erised. When they looked in it, they didn't see anything except themselves, so they just thought it was a mirror. When George found it after the war, he looked in it again, expecting to see himself. While he was gaunt and underfed, the man in the mirror wasn't. Then, his reflection looked towards the frame, and an identical man joined the man in the mirror. George saw his brother for the first time since his death, and he broke down. "

"When I make my first entrance, I’d like to come out of the door carrying a cane and then walk toward the crowd with a limp. After the crowd sees Willy Wonka is a cripple, they all whisper to themselves and then become deathly quiet. As I walk toward them, my cane sinks into one of the cobblestones I’m walking on and stands straight up, by itself… but I keep on walking, until I realize that I no longer have my cane. I start to fall forward, and just before I hit the ground, I do a beautiful forward somersault and bounce back up, to great applause. When Stuart asked why, Wilder replied, 'because from that time on, no one will know if I’m lying or telling the truth.' "

"You should watch your back." Lori "Really? Maybe you should stop spending so much time on yours." Jackie That 70's Show

"Are you crazy!?! This plan will never work!! Oh Mufasa, you've been up there too long, your head is in the clouds!"

"You're such a fuck-ass." "You can go suck a fuck." "Tell me Elizabeth, how does one suck a fuck. I'M ALL EARS.

""She may cry, but her tears will dry, when I hand her the key to a shiny new Australia."

"Good, you're finally getting into the music...do you get my joke? It's cause your head...well it's, it's in the tuba."

"However, their topics are often a little strange. I confess, I have not really gone into great depths of reading that sort of thing. A lot of them are very sexual. I don’t know what it is - Hagrid, Hermione, Draco… And also, there’s some alarming pictures to go with them. Let me stress, these pictures are not real. Me and Daniel never spooned in bed… or we never took pictures anyway." Tom Feltion

"So there are two cookies in the oven. One of them goes 'Whew, it's so hot in here.' And then the other goes 'AH! A talking cookie!"

"Yeah, it was pretty hard on all of us seeing James like that but we all felt really bad for Oliver. I mean, we were acting sad about it because he was our fake brother or son or friend but Oliver had it for real, you know, that was his real brother, his real best friend lying there. So we all gave him a hug after and for the first time James and Oliver said ‘I love you’ to each other in front of us. Not that they would ever admit it but it was still a very sweet moment." Daniel Radcliffe

"There are two kinds of evil. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don't do anything to stop it."

"Usually when a girl is sarcastically mean, it means they're attracted to you. But afraid that they'll be showing too much."

"The god of writing sent me to earth to show people how to write." Stephanie Meyer "I didn't send anyone." J.K. Rowling

"The armies of the dead always report well rested."

"Only a thin layer of dirt separates civilization from an undead apocalypse."

"It's good to learn from your failures, but I prefer to learn from the failures of others." Jace Beleren

"Murder of the living is tragic, but murder of the idea is unforgivable." Janus

"True strength is in the mind, for the body is too malleable a form." Politus

"On a world with five suns, night is compelled to become an aggressive force."

"Carrrllllll!" "Well I was hungry and when craving hands..." "Why on earth would you do that?!" "I was hungry for hands...Give me a break." "Carrlll!" "My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands could satisfy."

"Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since."

"I don't remember raising you to be such a spiteful child." "I don't remember you raising my at all."

"Having a simulating conversation with my dad is like trying to teach a rock how to get extremely drunk and ride a unicycle while juggling." Nate S

"Psychic though? That sounds like something out of science fiction." "You live in a space ship dear..." "...So." Firefly

"But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your hearts on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

"Dicaprio never died in Titanic. The end scene of the Titanic is him going into the water, the opening scene of Inception is him waking up on the beach. Movie inside a movie."

"Youre pretty.." "Good you've hit on me, we can get it out of the way." "I wasn't hitting on you...," "Trust me, I've given dozens of these and without fail whatever new hot shot thinks that because im just a paralegal that I will somehow be blown away by your degree." "I was... I was hitting on you." "Take notes I'm not gonna repeat myself." ~whisper~ "I love you." Suits

"You've got yourself things, That you've been running from, You either love it or I guess you don't, You're such a pretty thing, To be running from anyone, A vision with nowhere to go."

"Hey Peter I'm back, we can make out again." Nick

"Good. Then can we go home then?" "Why Roxas? Did you leave the toaster plugged in?" Xigbar 358/2 Days

"Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." -Stephen King

"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."

"Depression is just anger without enthusiasm."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

"Those who would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." Benjamin Franklin

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." Albert Einstein

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have." Thomas Jefferson

"When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you're hoping for."

"I read once that Egyptians had 50 words for sand and the Eskimos had 100 words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while sleep. There are no words for that."

"Leaving a vacuum of air, seem to accumulate your share, sorry but life is unfair, and I get the feeling you don't know, who to believe anymore, the rabbit who runs or the dogs of war."

"Let me give you this book!" "No" "Want to come to the cafeteria with me." "No, I have a bento." "MARRY ME!" "What did you say?" Maria Holic

"Also...I can kill you with my brain. >]" River Firefly

"You want to understand him because you don't understand him right? You want to understand because you like him. You reach out your hand so you'll gradually get closer to it."

"Nothing says I'm an ass, like a bunch of helium filled balloons." Castle

"I can understand having ferrets as a pet. Snakes, spiders, lizards, but rats?" Castle "There are kids in this city with cockroaches as pets." Beckett "What's the weirdest pet you ever had?" Castle "You." Beckett

"If you take sexual advantage of her you're going to burn in a very special level of hell a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." Shepard Firefly

"Take my love, take my land, take me where I can not stand, I don't care I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me." Firefly

"I did love the fact that we didn't have to bleep anything out, and you could actually say Frog humping cat sucking piss-ant in Chinese and not have to worry bout the censors going oops, you can't say shit."

"Mission to come aboard?" River "You know, you just ain't right..." "Mal "That's the popular theory. :D" River Firefly

"I need you to do me a favor captain." River (over intercom) "There was a guy. He's very blurry. You gotta be careful. How come there's a guy on board, and how come you're the ship." Mal "I know you have questions." River "That would be why I just asked them." Mal "There isn't a lot of time captain, I need you to trust me." River "Am I dreaming?" Mal "We all are...Don't make faces." River Firefly

"Well, my sister is a ship...we had a complicated childhood." Simon Firefly

"Don't promise me forever, it's not yours to give, just promise me today, that's all I need to live."

"Of all the times you've undressed in front of a man, has he ever asked you to leave? He doesn't care, he's in Rome with a naked girl. I'm tired of waking up and recalling every single thing I ate the day before." Eat Pray Love

"I know that someday someone will come into my life, or maybe they already have and I just dont know it yet, but they will show me who I am, they will let balance of self, of love, of mind, and of soul show me the next step."

"In the morning, I could take the burning sun, I could be the early warning, but I'm not the only one, so forgive me, cause it's more then I can bare, you demand, I make my mind up, I decided not to care." Choices

"It takes something big in a shitty life, to realize, and appreciate, all the little things around you. It takes someone special, to make those things, seem even better."

"Let me give you this book!" Kanako "No" Kiri "Want to come to the cafeteria with me." Kanako "No, I have a bento." Kiri "MARRY ME!" Kanako "What did you say?" Kiri Maria Holic

“In my 19 years not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple. And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.”

"I think it's only far to warn you that I am in fact a librarian." The Librarian Curse of the Judas Chapel

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my heart you choose to keep. And if I die before I wake, all of me is yours to take." He is We

"I'm thinking Arby's YUM!" Me "That's red robin." Dad

"Even in the deepest darkness, there will always be a light to guide you." Kingdom Hearts

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”

"Isn't that sexual harassment?""Not if your good looking." House

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Einstein

"Would you love me if I was gay?" "Yes, of course. You're my daughter, I will always love you." "What if I was bi-sexual?" "No, because then you're a slut. You have to pick one or the other."

"You're 16, sex doesn't exist for you. It's not real, like the eater bunny." "And you're married, it doesn't exist for you either."

"Did mom have a c-section with me?" "Yep, that's right. You weren't born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor."

"The night is always darkest before the dawn, but I assure, the dawn is coming." The Dark Knight

"Love is best defined by one simple number. The number of times that you're willing to simply just roll your eyes at your significant other's shenanigans."

‎"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, and she may love again. But if she loves you, what else matters? She's not perfect-you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can." Bob Marley

"Do you know how much a pilot bear weighs?" "No, how much?" "Enough to break the ice, hi I'm Fred."

"How do you creep out creepy people?" Stephanie "Find an axe or chainsaw. Carry it around all the time. Hold it very nonchalantly. Whistle a lot. See where things go from there." Surviving the World

"You can't imagine how much I want to kiss you right now." Sam "Do I have to imagine?" Melinda Ghost Whisperer

"Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?" Olive Easy A

"Is there an Olive here?" Brandon "There's a whole jar of them in the fridge." Rosemary Easy A

"So the second hand just fell off my clock...and I find this hilarious." Emily Park 1-29-11

“There are indefinite things in this world that remain unexplained. No matter how weird it is, mankind will always observe it. It will always be so with mankind. But it is the imagination. But it is the past. People are the world’s strangest creatures.” xxxHolic

"Hey Hughes, I got a little advice for you. It happens in movie and novels all of the time. The soldiers who never shut up about their girls back home. They don't make it." Roy Fullmetal Brotherhood Episode 30

"Most combat is blind. A normal soldier might fire irratically without a clear target in mind. But it's different with snipers, someone is sure to die when we pull the trigger." Riza Fullmetal Brotherhood Episode 30

"Your hamster habitat is totally upside down right now." "It's a gerbil, and he likes that way." Ghost Whisperer

"Gross guys look at a good picture and masturbate, other guys look at the picture and wonder what she was thinking. Gross girls don't want your picture except to brag. Other girls wonder why you're not in front of them holding you. Pictures speak a thousand words, I only need 3." Me

"There is only fear, and love. And one of them is way more fun."

"I finally got you out of my head, and then just being reminded of your face, I can't get you out of my head. Every time I spend my day thinking of you I have nightmares of him. Please, just talk to me." Me

“Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.” ~Scott Adams

"Everybody wants to be loved, every once in a while. We all need someone to hold onto to, just like a helpless child. Can you whisper in my ear, let me know it's alright." Oliver James 'A Long Time Coming'

"why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out." What A Girl Wants

"Don't steal my skittles! MEN HAVE DIED FOR LESS!!!" Me

"You're a genius." Melinda "Tell me something I don't know. Like what just happened? Cause I don't know what just happened." Payne Ghost Whisperer

"It's not that I hate you... It's just, put it this way. If you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it."

after being rescued from a tunnel* "You know, you are 12 hours late for dinner and that's not okay" Jim Ghost Whisperer

"Everyone who's never had love, wants it everyday. Everyone who has love, misses their loved ones everyday. Everyone who's lost love, just wishes the pain would go away." Me

"This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless."

"Friends are supposed to be there when you're in pain, even when they're friends with the reason for your pain." Me

"Everyone always says things will be better in college someday, but its happening today, and today sucks." Easy A

"Look at the blood" Melinda "I should probably get to a hospital or something." Payne "Don't worry, its not yours." Melinda "Why does that not make me feel the least bit better?!" Payne Ghost Whisperer

"Why can't you just remember your anniversary and get it over it" Delia "Because it's just one day. How can 1 day compare to being married to you every day of my life" Her Husband Ghost Whisperer

"Well you mean a lot to me. And to other people. But mostly me. ] :$" Rob

"When you don't fit in, you become superhuman. You can feel everyone else's eyes on you. You can hear a whisper about you from a mile away. You can disappear, even when it looks like you're still there. You can scream and nobody hears a sound." 19 Minutes

"Ooo I found some pink icing ;]" Rob

"if I were to fall in love with a girl, then I wouldn't be ashamed to be in a relationship with her. But so far, I've never met a girl I've been attracted to like that"

"Do you want me to get you wet?" Rob 4-27-10

"You would touch me there." Rob 4-27-10

"My hearts beating so hard, I can feel it through my whole body." Rob

"A finger? You can't kill me with a finger! You can make me feel weird with a finger..." Dan Levy

"Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live to the fullest, laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, smile until your face hurts, don't be afraid to take chances or to fall in love...and most of all, don't be afraid to live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset, is a second of happiness you can never get back."

"As you are dreaming of me, I am dreaming of you, and we are dreaming of our someday, when our dreams come true."

"You are 90 of the reason I get up in the morning. The other 10 is because I have to pee."

"A guy like you, needs a crazy girl like me."

"She will chase you around for a while. But there is gonna be a day, when she's gonna stop running in circles around you. She is going to get over you, and at that moment, you're going to wish you let her catch you."

"I am nowhere near perfect. I eat when I am bored. I fall for boys easily. I'm vulnerable to believe lies. I am hoping that one day I won't need a fake smile. I live by quotes that explain exactly what I'm going through. I have best friends and enemies. (and that's life)."

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Marilyn Monroe

"It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, and a lifetime to forget someone."

"Now where do you want me to go?" Me "Couch." Jazmin "You want to sit on the couch?" Me "No." Jazmin "Then what do you want with the couch?" Me "You sit on it." Jazmin "What if I don't want to sit on the couch?" Me "No." Jazmin 12-27-09

"If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered." - Edgar Allen Poe

"I would have walked you home, but I didn't want you to throw up on my shoes." Hughes "That happened once, more than ten years ago. Are you ever going to let it go?" Roy"They were decent shoes," Hughes Mistaken

"When he was just a teenager, if someone had told him that one day he’d want nothing more than to be intimate with Roy, he would have punched them in a second. And then punched them again for good measure. And then probably punched Roy, just to make himself feel better all the way around." Gates Ultimatum 31

"Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom."

"I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh, but I never thought I would look back on my laughter and cry."

“You were never only a Major, Ed.” Roy “Like you were never just a Colonel?” Ed “You were the one responsible for adding all those extra adjectives.”Roy “And you deserved every one of them. I didn’t even have to try and think of them. Just the sight of your smug arrogant face was enough.” Ed “And you certainly wasted no time in letting me know exactly what you thought of my face or anything else to do with me, for that matter.”Roy “Someone had to help Hawkeye keep you in line. Falman was starting to complain about the ammunition requisitions she kept putting in." Ed “That would be your fault.” Roy “And your logic is?” Ed “She only shot at me when I was arguing with you.”Roy “She did not! There were new patches on the walls and ceiling every time we got back from a mission. Al and I started to bet each other as to how many of them there’d be.” Ed “Was that because Al wouldn’t play cards with you anymore?”Roy “Oh shut up bastard. If you could’ve found a way to cheat at chess, you would’ve,” Ed “And then Hawkeye might not have missed.” Roy “Now that I would’ve loved to have seen.” Ed Returning Echoes 37

“Can I call you my Uncle Roy too? But seeing as how I’ve seen you mostly naked that could get awkward.” Ed At Gate's Edge 11

"I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like." textsfromlastnight

"I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me." Textsfromlastnight

"We both look up at the sky. I do it to realize my dream, he does it to wake up from his." Alfons Muchen no Naraneko

"You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone." textsfromlastnight

"We sang "a whole new world" together. Either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life." textsfromlastnight

"An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl", Its like it knows." texts from last night

"Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number." "You're getting good at this, you know that?" textsfromlastnight

"Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical." textsfromlastnight

"You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone." "At least I was looking out for everybody." textsfromlastnight

"Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him" textsfromlastnight

"I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever." textsfromlastnight

"McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!...How many you want?" "All of them" textsfromlastnight

"The reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you..." textsfromlastnight

"What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?" textsfromlastnight

"If he doesn't notice me by the next party, I'm just gonna go up to him and pull his pants down and blow him." "Sounds like a plan." Textsfromlastnight

“I would like you to take a test, Haruhi!” Tamaki “For what?” Haruhi “It’s a personality test. Kyouya is an evil dictator, it told me.” Tamaki “Tamaki, I am not Hitler.” Kyouya Sycophantically Speaking 11

"I really wanted you to get laid last night and I didn't think you were going to. So i posted porn on your facebook. It made sense at 3am." Textsfromlastnight

“Eddie!~ What’s up?! I didn’t think I’d see you again so soon! How lucky am I!~” Russell “Russell?! What the hell?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” Ed “Awww! Are you mad at me Eddie? I’m sorry, I just saw you and couldn’t help but give you a hug." Russell “ I said don’t call me that!” Ed “My, my. How mean of you Eddie. You got attitude; but that’s ok. I like them feisty...It’s all about the chase eh Eddie?... Ohh I really must be going now, but I'll see you later~” Russell The New Kid

"Donut, you're going too?" Sarge "No but I wasn't going to let you have all the packing fun. That's the best part of vacation! Besides the airport security cavity search." Donut Red Vs Blue Recreation 7

"What's the most frustrating game you've ever played?" "God..." "I hate that game too! There's the Jewish setting and the whole time your going through the level you just feel guilty." Troy Baker San Japan

"Griff, I am having fun going in and out of your hole." Simmons "Just stay down there like your told." Griff Red Vs Blue

"Your ability to turn lemonade back into lemons amazes me." "So..I'm being a tool?" "Dude, you pretty much have 'craftsman' carved onto your forehead." Back on Earth 52

"Will this car enter the club of super cars...no sadly. See what they should do is let the engineers, do their thing. Then hand it over to a ten year old kid to draw guns and dragons all over it. Cause at every car manufacturing, there is a ten year old kid." Hammond Top Gear

"If I jumped out of my window, will I be able to fly to my wonderland?" Vanessa

“You’re sure there’s no one else in here?” Riza “Search away. But unless you let some surprise stripper in here before I arrived this morning, I am quite alone. Aside from your amiable presence, of course.” Roy “Sir, someone stripping for you lost its surprise factor years ago.” Riza At Gate's Edge 3

"Nice shorts, where's the rest of them?" Mr Slater

"At first, I thought you were having a seizure, but then I realized you were just doing the robot." Krysta S

"I just choked on my own vocal chords." April M

"I miss you." Libby Hood "I miss me too." Rye Howard-Stone

"Jayreck is stabbing bananas with forks after dinner. Then making love with apples afterwords."

“Tell me your age, and I’ll tell you when I was born. I don’t have a birthday anymore. I have a deathday.” Ed “You celebrate the day you died?!” Roy “I’m a ghost! Celebrating the day I was born seems a bit outdated.” Ed At Gate's Edge 2

“Am I a bastard, Maes?” Roy “Yes, Roy. The only thing missing from you to qualify you as a dragon is the inability to breathe fire.” Maes “But I can snap and create fire.” Roy “It’s not the same. Breathing fire is more… well, it’s just more.” Maes At Gate's Edge 2

"He was hit by a Dodge ... Which I found funny and ironic." - Dane Cook

"I was literally cheated on, I woke up and they were on top of me!" - Dane Cook

"He's like the uncle that takes me out for lunch...and then follows me into the bathroom."

“Do you know what I’m going to do to you? I’m going to touch you. I am going to kiss you and lick you and leave no place unexplored. I will have you begging for me, wanting my touch. You will cry and sob my name and I will take you. I will rape you, Edward, and you will let me because you will want it.” Envy He Wasn't Supposed To Be There.

"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah." Ronald Reagan

"Oh, Ed, you're so cute when you're naive. Come on, don't tell me you don't know! Envy has, like, the biggest crush on you!" Roy "No, he doesn't." Edward "Okay, so he doesn't have a crush on you. But I thought he had an imaginary crush on you, and therefore I thought that it would be best to leave you two imaginary lovebirds all by yourselves. That way, your imaginary crush could turn into an imaginary relationship, and you would be imaginarily happy." Roy "Shut up! Is 'imaginarily' even a word?" Edward "Probably not. But I needed to keep it up, to mock you." Roy Side By Side

"What are you doing?" Edward "My nails, of course." Envy "Well, I know that. But why?" Edward "Because it makes me look pretty, of course!" Envy Side by Side

“W-what was that?” Fletcher “Let’s see, moaning, screaming of my brothers name…they were having sex.” Wrath “S-sex!?” Fletcher “Yeah, you know, like what you learn in heath class.” Wrath “Yeah but, we learned about a guy and a girl. This is different. It’s a guy and a guy! How do they-“ Fletcher “In the ass.” Wrath “W-WHAT!” Fletcher “You’re not homophobic are you?” Wrath “Of course not. I just get a little uneasy when I hear the word ‘sex’. W-what’s so funny?” Fletcher “You. You’re such a goody-goody.” Wrath “I-I am not!” Fletcher “Oh yeah? I bet you never even masturbate before.” Wrath “O-of course not! I-it’s not right!” Fletcher “So, you’ve never been curious?” Wrath “N-no.” Fletcher “…goody-goody.” Wrath Good Old School Days

“…Um, Envy? If you don’t mind my asking: exactly what the fuck are you doing hanging upside down in the bedroom closet?” Ed “Picturing you –minus the clothes- squirming and moaning beneath my own naked body, while fucking you senseless.” Envy “…Now, in all honestly… what are you doing?”Ed “Sleeping.”Envy “…And you’re sleeping upside down, in a closet, why?”Ed “’Cuz I feel like it.”Envy “…You’re sleeping upside down, in a closet, because you feel like it?"Ed "Fuck, yeah.”Envy Ticklish

"Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you." -- Ray Romano

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. " -- Joan Rivers

"I practice safe sex - I use an airbag." -- Garry Shandling

"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though. " -- Elton John

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."

"Bondage." Long pause "...Wait, what?" "Nothing."

"I'm going down to Hagrid's." Harry "Harry! You have to go meet Slughorn. We've got a plan!" Hermione "I know, but I've got a really good feeling about Hagrid's. I feel it's the place to be tonight. Do you know what I mean?" Harry "Nooo?!" Hermione and Ron Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

"I've never been to this part of the castle. At least not while awake. I sleep walk, you see. That's why I wear shoes to bed." Luna Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

"Would you like me to fix it for you? Personally I think you look more devil may care this way. Its up to you." Luna "Have you ever fixed a nose before?" Harry "No. But I've done several toes. How different are they really?" Luna "Ummm... ok yeahh. give it a go." Harry "Pisky!" Luna "How do I look?" Harry "Exceptionally ordinary." Luna "Brilliant!" Harry Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

"See that girl over there? She's been trying to smother you a love potion." Hermione "Really?" Harry "Hey! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the chosen one." Hermione "But I AM the chosen one." Harry smacks Hermione Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons. For thou art crispy and good with ketchup."

"Wow. Your mind has gone beyond the gutter. Your mind is in the tunnel the mole people use to get to the center of the Earth." Rye Howard-Stone

"And about how you like to punch people in the head while their asleep." Church "That was you? I thought the tooth fairy was mad at me." Kaboose Red versus Blue

"Time isn't made out of lines. It's made out of circles. That is why clocks are round." Caboose Red Versus Blue

"I used all my sick days, so I called in dead..."

"Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." Douglas Adams

"The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Nobody is a virgin; life has screwed us all."

"If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!"

"I'm not a sergent. I'm just a private." Donor "The sarge is still a private! Oh my god, the teleporter sent me back in time." Tucker

"It was as easy as shake'n bake." Sarge "And I helped." Donut "Well, I don't think, that standing over in the corner snickering like a monkey qualifies as help. But it sure was entertaining." Sarge Red Versus Blue

"What's a freelancer?"Griff "Their neutral. They'll fight for whoever gives them the most money."Simmons "Like a mercenary." Griff "Or like your mom when the rents due." Simmons Red Versus Blue

"Now that you've mastered driving, lets move onto the safety features of this tank." Sheila "NO..wait go back! Why are there six petals when there's only 4 directions?" Kaboose Red Versus Blue

"Sheila!!" Kaboose "No, not Sheila...wait, who's sheila?" Tucker "She was the lady in the tank. She was my only friend." Kaboose Red Versus Blue

"Do you remember where I told you I was stationed before?" Church "Yeah, that ice planet." Tucker "Ooo what was that like?" Kaboose "Uhh...cold." Church "That's it?" Kaboose "What do you want, a poem? It was a planet made entirely of ice. It was really fucking cold?" Church Red Versus Blue

"Did you ever think, that when you met this beautiful boy. That you'd be licking his face." "Yes..from the first day. First minute actually."ShaneDawsontv2

"You can accomplish anything in life, with a positive attitude and a 12 inch cock." Ron Jeremy

“I’ve decided I don’t like martyrs. They make the rest of us seem like pansies.” Al Circa 1950 45

"Don't bother worrying about what labels you fit under, or don't fit under, or how well you know yourself, or what other people think of you, labels are for soup cans." Ash 7-10-09

"Maybe thinking like this makes me like a child. But maybe children get it right. And maybe it's 'growing up' that screws you over." Ash 7-10-09

"What need is there for a king to enter his castle through the back door?" Bradley Fullmetal Alchemist Chapter 97

"Still wearing a school uniform at the age of 24! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!" Eliot Nightray Pandora Hearts 28

"That's it! My tolerance is at its limit! Being forced to constantly listen to a song you don't even like is certainly not beneficial to one's mental health." Satou N.H.K. ni Youkoso

"My heart? It made too much noise. I wanted it to quiet down so I could talk to the dolphins." Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce

"sex. a little caring; pamper me a little. sex. let's take a walk through the park or something cute. sex. :ponders the problems of the world: sex." Bryan

“Don’t let anyone take her, especially Alice. Anyone who wants the horse back can ask me for it. I don’t care who asks, you work for me. Even if the bloody queen herself shows up and asks you for it, you send her to ask me.” Ed Circa 1950 36

"I think the people above me are having sex. Either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot." skrike QDB

"There was a 23 drop in temperature." kyourek "That's almost 25!" nappyjallapy "... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard." Kyourek

".'Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.." FashyKekes QDB

"At my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if I don't get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyone's getting searched till I find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4." DaZe QDB

"There was as group of ducks on a pond near where I live. One of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks. Then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental. It looked just like duck stand-up comedy." UKDJPlanet QDB

"I got kicked out of Barnes and Nobles once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section." TNFBMachine QDB

"what does your robot do, sam." PatricianAway "It collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls." bovril QDB

"I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you." Night-hen-gayle QDB

"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?" xterm QDB

"Hmmmm. I've lost a machine.. literally lost. It responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is." Erno QDB

"You guys suck dick!...er hi." "It's alright...common typo." "The letters...they're like right next to each other." QDB

'He’d been tamed into a romantic, and a soft one at that. It was all Edward’s fault…' Fallen 17

“If this is me being corrupted… than innocence is overrated.” Ed Fallen 17

"A heart is not a game, so it doesn't deserve to be played. A heart is a puzzle, and the pieces always fit together perfectly. But it you don't place it right, then the end result won't be what you thought to see." Me

"Cheshire is a cat. And always was."Cheshire "Is that so? If that's the case, I want to have a chat with your owner."Oz Pandora Hearts

"Is it okay to leave Alice alone?"Raven "Don't worry, I locked the door and wrote a note. 'Raven and I went on a looooooooooooong bathroom break'."Oz "I'm going to kill you." Raven

"Of all the things ever said to me. All the insults, the swears, the rumors, the worst things people could think of. Your ten little words are the worst of them all. They still play over in my mind every day. And until you understand why I'll never forgive you, don't' try to smile at me. You don't even deserve to know my name anymore." Me

"Why do you take pyscoligy?" Mimi "To prove to the world I'm not insane."Sarah "Sarah, that's like trying to deny the existence of Insanity."Mimi

"My friends call me God."Mimi "Because your a stuck up who always thinks your right."Jemary"No Jemary because I'm a stuck up Bitch who is always right."-Mimi

"Stop for a moment. Let your imagination take hold. For once let reason soar out to the heavens and let those long lost dreams take hold."-Trish

“Sir, I thought we discussed not bringing dates to work.” Riza “Edward is not a date.” Roy “Well that’s rather silly of her to think that. How can I be a number on a calendar?” Edward Fallen 6

“They’re not watching you with that sort of interest.” Roy “Then what?” Ed “They’re wondering who you are, and whether or not they have a chance with you. Which they don’t.” Roy “A chance with me? To do what?” Ed “Get in your pants.” Roy Fallen Six

"If you go charging off and doing stupid heroic shit then it's my ass on the line to keep your ass safe.” Ed “I do feel safe knowing you watch my ass,” Roy Life After Truth 4

“Don’t you ever want something more than rockets?” Ed “Don’t you ever want anything else than to go home?” Alfons Time and Knowledge

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Ed “Not exactly, but you’re too heavy for me to carry out. I could possibly drag you out... A bunch of us are thinking of meeting up at the pub. Are you in?” Alfons “Speaking of dragging someone home...” Ed “Are you implying that you ever have to drag me home?” Alfons “Not at all, I’m saying it outright.” Ed Time and Knowledge

"Aw, c’mon, Brother! I bet you’ve got some good advice!" Al "……Well, I don’t know. I guess if it was me I’d see which one I cared more about first and go from there. If I was more in love with the guy-wait, if it was me it’d be a girl, right?" Ed "I always knew you were gay…" Mustang FMA Advice Column

“Number One: No, I am NOT a girl. Number Two: I hate Edward. Number Three: I am a manipulative bastard. I like me that way. Number Four: I would not love this ‘Mary Sue’ you speak of. I might eat her though.” – Envy

"That's is. The next person who calls me anything with the words 'palm tree' in it will have their neck stabbed with a steak knife!!" - Envy, "FMA Advice Column" by BakaKonekoRKL

“It won’t kill you to be nice at dinner.” Al “It’d be a shame if it did. Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People, dead at 16 due to traumatizing dinner experien—" Ed “You’re hopeless, brother.” Al “I believe not. I’d just rather keep my dignity.” Ed “By forcing me to have to sit with you at dinner all the time just to make sure you are well behaved? You’ll never get a date at this rate.” Al “IT’S NOT A DATE!” Ed “I never said this was a date, Francie.” Al Housing Project Elric

“Who knows, maybe I'll sign back up. That would make special ops wet their pants.” Ed “Roy would hate that,” Al “La de dah, why the fuck is everything about Roy?” Ed Life After Truth

“What kind of pancakes do you want?” Roy “You just got me off and now you want to make pancakes.” Ed Quite the Mother Load 6

"Congratulations, General Mustang. A three rank leap is a serious promotion." Hughes "I only found out myself five minutes ago. How can you possibly -...Forget I asked. You're in Intelligence, you know everything." Roy Tears and Ran 23

"Hey, if you behave yourself, who knows - maybe I'll even keep you around," Ed "You do realize this is my house?" Roy "Yeah well, details." Ed Abort, Retry, Fail at Life

“That’s the first time in years I’ve slept well." Ed “I’m that dreary, huh?” Roy “You have no idea. Did we even finish last night before I went to sleep?” Ed “you know the answer to that one very well, my loud-mouthed subordinate.” Roy “Kinky.” Ed Circa 1950, 20

“Bye Al,” Ed “Bye Ed,” Al “It's not like you won't see him tomorrow, or five times this week,” Roy Life After Truth

“Hey bastard! What the fuck are you doing here?” Ed “Is that any way to treat your lover?” Roy “It's the way to treat you.” Ed “Well if that's the way you treat me, I'll just have to punish you later won't I.” Roy “Ha! Like you could ever catch me.” Ed “Why because you're so small?” Roy “Bastard! You did not just go there!” Ed Risembool High

“I’ve never considered using alchemy against you before, Falman, but you know, right now I have this little urge to do something I’ve never done before. It’s kind of exciting.” Ed Returning Echoes 36

“When you look at me, do you see someone who is in touch with his feelings? Someone emotional and understanding?” Roy “Not really, sir...” Riza Object of Gossip 4

"He is very, very stupid. so stupid that he insults the very existence of men...not that men should exist in the first place" Kingdom of Kami

"I swear her fucking goal in life is to make me as miserable as she can as fast as she can. It’s like a fucking art form for her!” Ed “And I’m sure you’re a perfect angel?” Roy “Very fucking funny, bastard." Ed The More I learn to Care for You 11

"I will always love you Fullmetal. 'You aren't the only one desperately in love.' Even if you're armor, even if you turn into an actual bean. I will love you." Roy

"And as for the people you don’t want staring at you, just give them a good glare. If you can still glare like you used to, it’ll be enough to make them have a spontaneous crap.” Ed Circa 1950 14

"Hey, Jean, plenty more fish in the sea!" Ed "But I don't want to date a fish!" Havoc "That was a figure of speech, you idiot." Ed What is this feeling

“I take it he doesn’t like to be called S-H-O-R-T?” “I’m not a little kid or a goddamn animal! I know how to spell! AND DON’T CALL ME SHORT!”

"Does you're automail hurt?" Roy "Uhm, a little if the temperatures low and the humidity is high..." Ed "Shall I warm it up for you, or give you pleasure so good, you'll forget about the pain." Hermaphrodite

"I don't care if you despise me. Stop pitying me." Roy Hermaphrodite

"I had fun making him annoyed.” Edward “I think everyone does. At least everyone who knows him well enough to not be incinerated. Just so you know, I don’t hold it against you that you unleashed him onto me each visit. His rants were quite amusing, and they got better the longer he continued and the more wine he drank.” “I’m actually sad I missed them.” Edward “Missed what?” Roy “Leprechauns.” Gate's Ultimatum

“My son is just a huggable teddy bear that likes to think he’s dangerous.” “I am not a teddy bear! And I am dangerous. I just have the common sense not to attack my own mother.” Gates Ultimatum 23

“Aw, come on King. That was the perfect opportunity!” Hichigo “Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’m not that kind of guy!” Ichigo “You pussy, it’s perfect! We’re all alone, she wearing that thin little thing she calls a night dress, and you’ve got stamina like no other! Once your finished with her, give me a try!” Hichigo

“What, you’ve always preferred blondes.” Maes “Could we please get off the subject of Roy’s – I mean, the bastard General’s bed partners." Ed “Jealous, Fullmetal? Given your lack of experience, I mean.” Roy “You wish, old man. Just bored with all this talk of blondes – I prefer redheads myself, they’re fiery.” Ed Full Circle 26

"The entire truth, damn it, or do I have to beat it out of you?" Ed "This plane lacks the physical realization necessary for that." Gate Full Circle

"You are going to be sorry when I get my hands on you!" Ed "You don’t have hands." Truth "Not the point!" Ed FUll Circle

“I want the rest of your body!” Wrath “Yeah? Take a number. It’s a real pain being this good-looking sometimes. And by the way, the fact that you have my arm and leg is truly disgusting. I’d take them back, but I don’t do second-hand body parts.” Ed “That begs the question of what you do do, but we can leave that for another time. Good to see that all your scrapping hasn’t dented your ego, Fullmetal,” Roy Full Circle 18

“I may be a watch dog, but the correct question is, who is my real master?” Maes Full Circle 6

"Besides, unlike some people I don't rely one hundred percent on my alchemy."Roy ''No, you rely on Hawkeye to shoot anyone before they get to you." Ed Tears and Rain 10

“One of us had to have a cool head. You’re the one who lost his temper every time I made height jokes.”Roy “Not a quick learner, were you, and I was never short. You were all just giants, and your ego stunted my growth. It was oppressive.” Edward Circa 1950 10

"You named your female cat after me?” Ed “I didn’t know she was a she when I got her, I didn’t know that until the stupid thing went out and got herself knocked up, actually.”Roy “You can’t tell the difference between a male and a female? Your love life must be screwy as all hell, Roy.” Ed Conversion 7

“He drove me nuts, and I don’t think he trusted me as far as he could throw me, honestly.” Ed “Well, considering how tiny you are, I imagine he could probably throw you pretty far if he put his mind to it.” Alter!Roy Conversion 3

“My real arm fell off, and so I had to replace it with a metal one.” Ed “It fell off? How come?” Kara “Well, I did something really bad, and that was my punishment,” Ed “If I do something bad, with my arm fall off too?” Kara Conversion 2

“Have you been reading the paper lately?” Roy “Why should I? S’not like there’ll be a big ad for a philosopher’s stone in the For Sale section.” Edward “You’ve got a one-track mind, Fullmetal.” Roy “You’re one to talk, Colonel Whatever-Gets-Me-a-Promotion-or-a-Date,” Edward “That’s two tracks.” Roy “Shut up.” Edward Coldblooded 1

"Ed knows that alchemy can explain everything. Even daytime vampires, unundead zombies, and his surprising attraction to Colonel Mustang... Okay, maybe not the last one." Coldblooded Story Summary

“Thanks. Are you coming in?” Edward “I’d love to ‘cum’ in. ‘Where’ is a good question, but I’m sure I know a good spot." Roy

“Are you hitting on me?" Edward “Maybe." Envy “Ha, well you can just forget it, cause I’m not interested.” Edward “Already got a boyfriend?”Envy “No, I’m not gay.”Edward “Oh really, cause my gaydar went off and everything, when was the lest time you were with a woman?" Envy “You’re pushy huh?”Edward “No, just curious.” Envy “Well, curiosity killed the cat.” Edward “Hmmm, then meeee-oooow…” Envy The Promise He Kept Chapter 1

"My name’s Greed, I’ll be rescuing you today.” Once Upon A Headache

"‘Dear Order, Have decided to stop making such a fuss about being an ex-ghost malformed skunk. I get the feeling that perhaps you don’t all believe me to be telling the truth. Instead, I shall angst. Feel the melodrama, people! Oh woe is me! Oh woe is me! I used to have a Hamster Tree! But it was eaten by a newt, and now I have no cuddly fruit! Oh woe is me! Oh woe is me! I used to have a Hamster Tree! Insert more angst and melodrama here. I am far too busy with my Potions essay to be emo any longer. Love Harry’"

"Having fun?" Hughes "Insanity's always fun," Roy Pins 4

"You're cute when you do that." Roy "Don't call me cute." Ed "Then what would you like me to call you?" ..."Human." Ed Help Me 12

“Good boy! You deserve a biscuit.”Roy “Die. Just die...”Ed Father Christmas 11

“More commonly known as ‘Mistletoe’. It is a very important part of this Christmas holiday. According to the texts I’ve read, Mistletoe is put up everywhere and whenever person steps under it, then the person closest to that person in distance must kiss that person.” Roy “Well, that’s not exactly right. Most people only put up one bundle and when two people stand under it at the same time then they’re supposed to kiss." Al “Okay, it is closer to what Alphonse said, but I was trying to paraphrase it,” Roy “Put it up according to your traditions, okay? And be sure to let everyone know what they’re for and the traditions associated with it. Just in case anyone gets any ideas...” Riza “Can’t imagine what you mean, Lieutenant,” Roy

Edward smirked and decided that if Roy was going to carry him, he wasn’t going to make it easy. So he promptly encircled his arms around Roy’s neck to give him leverage to lean up and start kissing and licking what of Roy’s neck he could reach. “Do you want me to drop you down the stairs?” Roy “Do you want me to stop?” Ed “No.” Roy Shifting the Sand

“They can see us.” Ed “No they can’t. Anyway, I don’t mind what the others are thinking because it’s our night.” Roy “You’re embarrassing me…” Ed “I know and it’s adorable." Roy Close to You 3

"Everyone always thinks that I'm the good brother, the sensible one, but no one ever really sees that Ed's the one who's brave. People believe that he doesn't think things through, that he leaps into action without thinking of the consequences. Thing is, brother's never been like that. Not since what happened with mother. Not since losing my body. He knows what could happen, what the result of every one of his actions could be, and he does it anyway." Al Tears and Rain 2

"He just didn’t want to sleep with the hugely enormous bugs. In his mind, that made Roy just slightly better than a cockroach." Ed's Thoughts Just Once? 1

"Who do you report to here?” Colonel Miller “Myself and the Fuhrer.” Roy “You really are that good then?” Colonel Miller “I could kill you in a matter of seconds, before you’d even be able to think of defending yourself. So do try not to irritate me.” Roy Shifting the Sand 4

"I can't go on like this. Every night I see them in my dreams and it's all my fault I can't see them now. I'm the reason they're lying six feet in the ground instead of sleeping in their beds," Ed Slowly Breaking 3

“The only superior I know of has the intelligence of a rock—” Ed “Excellent, we’ll make quite a team then, since you’re about the size of one—” Roy Memories 2

“Hey babe. I just sent your brother over here after you entrusted him to me and gave us the job of closing the Gate, I blew it off and left the responsibility with the sparkly-headed one and the military you despise. Then I decided, what the heck, I think I’ll come here and stalk you around the world till I find you. Wanna have hot kinky sex?”Roy's Thoughts Waiting for You 6

“I hope you’ve not been harassing Roy about all the missed work.” Ed “Not at all. I know what he was doing was far more important. Though I did threaten him that if everything isn’t caught up by the end of the week, I’ll tell Gisela you weren’t resting hardly as much as you should have been. Even if you were in bed.” Riza “What can I say, the man is distracting.” Ed Believe in me 67

Ed stood under the warm spray and did his best to glare a whole through the tile of the shower. The wall seemed less then impressed. - Conversion 11

"So do we have the okay from your mother?" Roy "Oh, shut the hell up and start walking, Mustang." Ed Conversion

'They'd love Al, he knew that. Everyone loved Al.' Conversion

"No wonder his limbs didn't want to move. Half of them weren't even there. -Dichoptomy 1

"You can attack save, you can attack to kill. You can attack to gain, but don't loose your will." Entre nous 3

"So you were having a naughty dream? Don't worry Edward, I don't mind. Though I'd rather it not be a dream." Roy “Perverted bastard.” Ed“Me petite, how can I resist when you are so kind to me.” Roy “Shut up...wait...is that a short joke?”Ed “Take it or leave it, Edward.” Roy“I'm going to kill you one of these days.”Ed Risembool High 7

"Why are you here?”Ed “I was in the neighborhood.” Roy “You live in the neighborhood.” Ed After School Special 28

“He’s something else,” Roy “He’s something, alright. I’m sorry.” Ed “Why? Everyone should have an Al.” Roy After School Special

General,” Ed “Pirate,” Al “Pirate?” Ed “I’m a pirate, didn’t you know? I sail the seas in a galleon called the Raucous Flame and I lay siege to ports and loot booty and all that sort of thing,” Roy “It’s terribly exciting, his position as a General in the army is just a front, you see.” Al “Well damn, here you had this great double life and I didn’t even know about it.” Ed The Adventures of Roy Mustang Sex Ed Teacher 18

"He deserves you most of all. That’s all he’s really wanted, I can tell just by looking at him.” Al “When we get your body back, I think I might have to hug you for like an entire day.” Ed The Adventures of Roy Mustang Sex Ed Teacher 15

“Somebody’s in a good mood,” Havoc “It is a superior officer’s duty to inspire his troops, and the Colonel is setting a fine example today.” Falman “Too bad he doesn’t follow his own bullshit, oh I’m sorry, ‘advice’,” Breda The Adventures of Roy Mustang Sex Ed Teacher 11

“Your clothes off this time. All of them.” Ed “Giving me orders Full…Edward?” Roy “Maybe? More like a request with emphasis?” Ed The Adventures of Roy Mustang Sex Ed Teacher 2

"I’m so going to hell….Might be worth it though…" Roy's thoughts The Adventures of Roy Mustang sex Ed Teacher 1

“I’m fate’s bitch, or haven’t you figured that out yet?” Ed The Adventures of Roy Mustang Sex Ed Teacher 1

“Am I not allowed to smile when some fool is suffering from an attack of invisible insects or some weird ass whatever the hell ‘that’ just was?” Ed “I guess you can, but I didn’t think you were capable, not with that stick so far up your ass.” Kimblee Flint and Ashes 13

"Combined with his knowledge and determination and his willing-ness to sacrifice everything for those he loved, their betrayal and senseless murders had created the perfect weapon...him." St Edward and the Dragon 12

"Now there is no one left to watch my back, nor does it deserve watching." Roy Just Like This

"Are you real?" Roy "Are you?" Maes Just Like This

"I always told you you keeping things in like this wasn't good, but did you believe me..of course not. You are 'The Great Flame Alchemist'." Maes Just Like This

"Maybe they took it outside." Breda "We would have heard about it." Hawkeye "Everyone would have heard about it." Havoc The Bet 6

"I think if Hawkeye reinforced her words with a bullet or two, I wouldn't call that cheating." Falman "No one has the balls to call that cheating." Havoc The Bet 6

"You may regret those words Edward Elric." "Probably, but I'm too tired to care. I have enough nightmares, what will one more do. You should have killed me when you had the chance." Ed "I did. You just don't remember." St Edward and The Dragon 11

“You want her number?” Roy “and what makes you think I don’t have it already?” Falman “That’s my subordinate!” Roy

“I stopped being innocent, when I walked in on you and that guy having 'fun' as you called it. Though I do not share your preference for men. Women are more my style. What? Don't give me that look. Just cause your gay doesn't mean I'm going to be.” Al “First of all, I'm bi, there's a difference. Secondly, I'm proud of your sexuality and all but I don't need to be informed.” Ed Help Me 4

"He’s about as delightful for me to talk to as a cactus is to hug.” Ed Believe in Me 37

“Why are you going to speak to the emperor?” Roy “Because I can, and because he owes me a rematch in chess." Ed Believe in Me 28

“I hate children.” Roy “You say that now, but don’t you want to have kids one day? Little Mustangs to run around and terrorize everyone with their grandiose notions and perverted minds?” Riza Believe in Me

“Well I doubt she would have come back straight away if she had been sneezed all over by adorable gremlins.” Roy “How exciting for you. Stay away from me.” Breda “Want a hug?” Roy Believe in Me

"Screaming at your brother because he changed his sex on you is probably the best reason for a rant he's ever had." Ed Thoughts Returning Echoes 1

"Guilt and blame were two things he had way too much experience in. Along with human transmutation." Ed's Thoughts Returning Echoes 2

"Why'd you sew it on anyway." Ed "Because if it gets wets, the ink wold run." (splash) "Well if it gets wet you'd be useless anyway."

"Brother...how long have we been back?" Al "About a week." Ed "Then why does it feel like we never left." Al "Because we didn't." Ed Constant Reminder

“Did you just ask her out on a date?” Havoc “Certainly not. She’s like my sister, you twit.” Roy “Same.” Riza Mustang shot her a look.“But in a brotherly sense.” Riza “Uh-huh, sure.” Havoc “Want to see how long it takes me to burn off all your hair?” Roy Believe in Me

"I’m thankful every day that I wake up and you still rule the country.” Falman “Ass kisser.” Roy Believe in Me 17

Edward Elric...had sacrificed his life to bring his brother back from death and keep the promise he had made when they were children. He always did have an unshakeable code about that sort of thing.

Auric had just upended a known scientific fact, stomped all over it and then shrugged it off as an everyday occuance. A prodigy indeed. Full Circle 9

I inivertidly pray again...that you could stay. And that the night would never become dawn. 'Dolce 42

Al was glad that he wasn't stuck in the armor anymore, else he'd probably collect a lot of rain really fast, wash off the blood seal and die. 'And they said a bit of rain water never killed anyone. Ha.' Al's Thoughts Dreaming of Another World 3

"Get back under the covers Ed. You let all the cold air out when you left so you're responsible for warming me back up." Roy Misspoken 15

"Hughes Though, could go from serious soldier, to all smiles at the drop of a hat." Number Twenty Eight 14

"it's not my door though." Ed "You better play pretend and open it." Roy "What if it's a killer?" Ed "Then give them a dollar." Roy "What if it's a rapist?" Ed "Then Give them Two dollars." Roy Theif 5

“Until next time, little rabbit.” Roy “I am not little.”Ed “So you have said, but I tell you this...you are my rabbit, Edward Elric.” Roy Dark Dreams 1

“Stop blathering nonsense!” “War is never nonsense. The reasons behind it might be, but the act itself is quite serious. I’ve survived a war you couldn’t even begin to imagine. And here you are, thinking a mere high caliber rifle can take me down? It hurts my feelings, truly. Get serious with me if you want to fight, because it takes a lot more than a big gun and a good aim to bring me down. Face me like I’m your enemy, because I guarantee you that I am.” Ed Believe in Me

"Do tell me, for I find myself intrigued, Just where is it you take your orders from?” Edward “That’s not going to be your concern very soon. Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Disgraced, and soon to be quite beyond the realm of the living.” “I’ve died before. Forgive me for seeming selfish, but I do not plan to repeat the experience anytime soon.” Edward “Pity I won’t be giving you a choice.” Believe in Me

"They won’t even acknowledge that I was there to people that come asking about me.” Ed “I’ll still try.” Roy “I’m sure that’ll give him quite the laugh once he mails your money back.” Ed “You think so? Think he’d refuse money from the ruler of the country he takes up space in?” Roy “He’d see it as a payoff, or a bargaining chip. And you’re a waste of space yourself, oh ruler of Amestris.”Ed “Well we can’t all be as short as you, Ed.” Roy “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Else I just might race back there to kick your ass.” Ed “I’d welcome your finest efforts.” Roy “I’ll bet you would.” Ed Believe in Me 7

“I think when I get back, I’m going to ask for a raise, and a promotion, and some more damn respect.” Edward Believe in Me 6

“Let’s let her think we forgot about her. That should make her a happy little hamster.” Roy“Hamster?” Ed “If she can call us rabbits, she can be a hamster.” Roy “That’s not very flattering.” Ed “Well neither is being called a rabbit!” Roy Gate's Ultimatum

"Now I am catching the train that leaves on Monday. I expect you to be decent enough to come pick me up from the station yourself.” Roy's Mom “I thought I was allowed to revert back to caveman male tendencies. Surely that does not involve extending such courtesy.” Roy “Oh ha-ha.” Roy's Mom The Gates Ultimatum

"You could tell them the truth," the ghost of Ichigo "Oh that would work. Hay Nii-sama the ghost of my dead boy friend is following me around. Why didn't I send him to the soul society you ask its cause I can't. Really when I try to do the passing on ritual the hilt of my sword goes right through him, but other than that he's solid I can touch him and everything. Am I insane of course not Nii-sama Why would you say that I'm only seeing the ghost of my boy friend who died 10 years ago." Ruika. "I see your point," Ichigo

“So what'cha making us?” Ed “I was thinking Mac and Cheese might be good.” Roy “Bastard, think of something else.” Ed “Brother, don't be rude.” Al “Yeah Edward, listen to your brother. I mean after all I am being so generous as to make you food.” Roy “Can you stop being a bastard?” Ed “Can you stop demanding things?” Roy “Can the two of you shut up?” Al Help Me 3

"I'll be waiting for you at home, and please, don't cheat on me with Fuery." Roy

"I picked up a cat. he's quiet and very smart (but he doesn't like milk). He won't leave, even if I leave the door unlocked. Yet, he still stares out the window, and looks as if he wants to." Alfons Living Will Part One stray cat.

“Honestly, you would have been standing in front of the poor guy earlier with your mouth hanging open and making sounds like a wounded monkey.” Mrs. Mustang (Roy's mom) “I resent that remark!” Roy “You resemble that remark.” Mrs.Mustang Please, Stay 7

"The irritation faulty prosthetics can bring. Especially when it starts to get rusty.” Ed “You’ve gone rusty in places?”Al “I have gone rusty. I’m just a bundle of joy lately. Rusty, sweaty, hung over-” Ed “Hairy.” Al “At least I didn’t try experimenting by growing a goatee. I swear you scared the entire apartment community with that thing. I myself nearly tried to stab you when I saw you with it, I thought you were a horrible impersonation of my brother come to try and rob me or something." Ed “Oh is that why you threw a knife at me? I thought it was because you were jealous.” Al “Yes, I often try my best to look like an idiot.” Ed “You succeed grandly.” Al

“That would be quite the accusation. Be careful pointing fingers, Fullmetal. They just might get cut off.” Hakuro “Well, sir, I suppose you’re right, but fingers can be replaced, and I’m sure the military expects its soldiers to have balls. You can’t run with the big dogs when you pee like a puppy.” Ed Descent 39

Looking down at the bottle, Ed sniffed at it, then dumped it out in the sink. Right now he thought he understood the strong pull of drinking his troubles away, but that wasn’t him. He wasn’t Roy Mustang. He was Edward Elric. Descent 34

Most people were at home asleep, or with their families, or with their friends or... but not him. He was here listening to a dead man act as his conscious. Descent 33

"Oh, it's you."Ed "What kind of greeting is that?" Roy "The kind you deserve." - Edward Side By Side

“If he’s the death of me, I’ll be dying happy.” Roy The Gate's Ultimatum 10

“You two fight like an old married couple now.” Riza "We do no such thing." Roy "Yet." Ed The Gate's Ultimatum 10

“I’m making us a lemon meringue pie then later. I snuck lemons into the cart when you weren’t looking.” Ed “Sneak.” Roy “Guilty as charged.” Ed “So if you’re so sneaky, how’d the milk manage to stay in the cart?” Roy “Because I want a cake.” The Gate's Ultimatum 6

Edward was pushing the cart because quote, he wanted to. Mustang did not press the matter. Edward just wanted an excuse to watch Roy’s ass while he pushed the cart along from behind. The Gate's Ultimatum 6

“Now seriously, brother, go on with you. You’ve a press conference and a certain someone to woo." Al “Roy is not someone you can woo. He normally does the wooing.” Ed “Fine, pin him to a wall and kiss him senseless.” Alphonse The Gate's Ultimatum 5

“face it, brother. We’ve love lives to pursue, and neither of ours will happen if we don’t go to the places we’re meant to be. That means me to Risembool, and you to wherever it is you’ll finally lose your cool and jump Mustang" Al “I was thinking the mess hall at Headquarters, during peak lunch hour.” Ed The Gate's Ultimatum 5

“I am glad he’s back, ecstatic to be precise. But that does not mean that due to my happiness I am going to jump him the first opportunity I get!” Roy “How about the second?” Riza The Gate's Ultimatum 3

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." Ed One-Shot

"The quieter you become, the more you can hear." One-Shot

"What makes a person, that one person, the one you sing for, the one you cry for, the one you live for, and the one you die for."Entre Nous 1

"It doesn't matter if it's a country, a position, or the heart of someone. It's important how you make them fall." 2sweet2be '(doujinshi)

"Can a dream within a dream someday become reality?" Ed Dolce 16 (doujinshi)

‘That’s a rather twisted form of equivalency, and just how am I supposed to prove something like that? ’ Ed ‘I’m a twisted entity. Figure it out for yourself' Truth / The Gate The Gate's Ultimatum

‘Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on?’ Ed ‘Roy looks rather good in that uniform.’ Truth/The Gate ‘Yes h-hang on!’ Ed ‘What? It’s the truth, I give you the truth. You want to know what’s going on? I have been waiting for a chance to drag your lame ass back here for good. I would have done it years ago had your attachment to your brother not prevented it. I couldn’t yank him back when he wasn’t fully conscious. The accident provided the perfect means, plus you would have died anyway if I hadn’t.’ Truth/The Gate The Gates Ultimatum

“The Gate. I did not think it would be sentient…” Roy “Nor did I. And it was rather gossipy for about a month after this all started. You’d think it would have the common sense to leave me be since I’ve seen plenty of the damned thing to last me a life time. I don’t exactly want it hanging around in my mind whenever it wants to chat.” “Ed, after all the crazy shit that’s happened to us this fits right in with what I consider normal." Roy The Gate Ultimatum 1

“and in the mean time, you’ve work that needs doing. So hop to it, Mister Sexually Frustrated Bunny.”Riza The Gate Ultimatum 9

"Though if he tells me off, I’m not sure what I’ll do.” Ed “Try not to think about it. He’s not going to do that. You think he likes you, right?” Al “Well, he gives me that indication.” Ed “Then just wait it out, but honestly, if he starts taking too long, throw him down to the floor and have your naughty way with him.” Al The Gate Ultimatum 9

“why Mustang, are you blushing?” Riza “I can’t very well see myself can I? It’s just hot out here.” Roy “Doesn’t feel hot to me. Not anymore anyway, once Edward was yanked away from you it’s like winter wonderland out here.” Riza “Well don’t pull out your skis just yet.” Roy “seriously though, you can’t tell me you’re oblivious. You two are shooting pheromones at each other like a pair of sexually neglected spring rabbits.” Riza The Gate's Ultimatum 9

“I am pretty sure he was about to ask me if he was the one I meant when I said I wanted to be with the one I love.” Edward “About to?” Al “Yeah, Havoc interrupted it.” Ed “The guy always did have impeccable timing.” Al The Gate's Ultimatum 9

“Look at this as a chance to develop some people skills, Ed. You could learn how to be polite and maybe even some manners.” Roy “When I get back, I’m going to shove my fist down your throat…politely.” Ed The Bet 8

“Oh I see. You almost look like a guy.” Ed “I often think the same thing about you too, Edward.” Hawkeye Descent 13

"I’d ask if I was dead, but the pain assures me that I’m not.”Al Descent 8

I’ve snapped,Ed thought as he continued to laugh hysterically. I’ve totally lost my fucking mind. They’re going to put me in one of those places where there are padded walls and they put you in one of those white coats so your arms are tied down, and they’ll spoon feed me... applesauce... The Descent 7

‘Roy, the answer to life’s problems won’t be found at the bottom of a bottle.’ Maes Descent 7

“With your metabolism, I’m afraid you’d die in a couple of days if you don't eat,”Roy “I wish I would…”Ed Descent 7

“aaahh! Dammit! Ouch! Mother fucking piece of shit!” (Roy) Ed raised an eyebrow; he’d have to remember that the next time the colonel got on his case about swearing. Descent 7

“Good morning,” Winry “If you say so.” Al Descent 5

"It wasn’t that Ed never apologized, because he did. It just had to be very major for him to do so. Something like... oh... doing something that caused you to lose your body then attaching your soul to a piece of armor." Al's thoughts Descent 4

“You didn’t forget the milk did you?” Al “I’m very sorry, Alphonse, but a world wide plague has contaminated the species of bos taurus making them unable to excrete the pale, white liquid rich in calcium, phosphorous, iron, zinc, copper, molybdenum, manganese, cobalt...thus making it impossible to acquire the item you have so diligently made an inquiry about.” Ed Descent 4

"You look hot." Al “Why, Alphonse, it’s not like you to be so forward, but that’s okay, I like compliments.” Winry Descent 3

“Shut up. You’re not my father,” Ed “You’re right. I’m not. If I was, I would put you over my knee and give you a well deserved spanking.” Roy “I didn’t know you were into kinky stuff like that...”Ed Descent 2

The conversation between them had been more of a fight then anything else, yet despite that, they’d ended up spending the night having incredibly hot sex. The Game 1

“I just got out of the shower. I’m not dressed, so you can wait out there.” Roy “You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before."Riza The Game 1

When I’m Fuhrer, I’m going to make my birthday a national holiday.. Roy's Thoughts The Game 1

Naruto was even able to teach both of them to drink their tea on the ceiling. So when Kakashi opened the door it was to find an apparently empty room. This confused him. That is until he heard a cough and what sounded like a muffled giggle. The noises came from above him. He looked up to find three genin sitting on the ceiling. The one with black hair seemed to be trying to keep a straight face while the pink haired girl was trying to keep from laughing. The blond just looked at him, seemingly perfectly calm, and said something he would never forget. “Tea,"

"Murder, like talent, seems to run in the family" Naruto (about Uchiha Clan)

“I’ve got paperwork to do!” Ed “What a coincidence, so do I,”Roy The Bet 8

“Do you want cream or sugar?” Al “Not today,”Roy The More I learn to Care for You 9

“Can you make coffee?” Roy "Yes...” Al “Good coffee?”Roy The More I learn to Care for You 9

“You’re in for it when I get outta here, you know that right? I’m not going to let you outta my sight. You know all that determination I had for Al? Well that’s all on you now.” Ed The More I learn to Care for You 8

“How about we get out of here and on to our next stop... I know you’re dying to see what I have planned.” Ed “I’m only dying to know if it involves you under me, moaning and panting and begging for more.” Roy “It doesn’t. Well, I suppose you could do something like that... but all those people might take offense.” Ed The More I learn To Care About You 2

“I love it when you say my name, but I like it even more when you’re moaning it rather than growling it.” Roy The More I learn to Care About You: Roy's POV 1

“If I live... does that mean you’ll be doing the cooking while I recover?” Ed “Of course not, we’ll get take out.” Roy Mirrors of Yesterday 7

“You still going to respect me in the morning?” Roy “What are you talking about? I never respected you in the first place.” Ed Mirrors of Yesterday

“You’re not going to molest me in my sleep, are you?” Ed “For the love of...” Roy Mirrors of Yesterday

“I kick.” Ed “So do I.” Roy “Yeah, but one of my legs isn’t real,” Ed “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to kick the one that is." Roy Mirrors of Yesterday 2

“It’s like, my brain is telling me this was a bad idea, but my body is telling my brain to ‘shut the hell up.’” Edward Someone To Turn To: Fire and Ice 1

“You can’t fool me. I know you missed him. Seriously, the man is no fun without you around. All he does is work, work, work, and he gets grouchy. Probably from not getting enough se…” Havoc The Gift 1

“It’s not like that... I was trying to think about how to describe what it feels like to be out here in the rain...” Edward “It’s cold and wet. Your quest is over" Alfons Feeling the Rain one-shot

“I don’t know if the stars really are the road to eternity, but I do know they’re not the path to your brother. And neither am I." Alfons The Road to Eternity one-shot

“I was trying to be poetic, now give that back.” Edward “Your poetry stinks. Stick to mathematics, that’s what you’re best at.” Alfons “I believe it is you who stinks. I thought you’d died down there in that chair since you hadn’t moved in days and I was up here trying to decide if I should bury you, cremate you, or use you in my next alchemy experiment.” Edward The Road to Eternity oneshot

“Don’t mess with me Ed.. You know I value my sleep.” Roy “Oh really. Is that a threat? And what if I do? You seem pretty defenseless since your sleeping and all.. I think you have forgotten just who your dealing with here." -Ed Teach Me 20

"Like I said before, I need help and I don’t even know what kind." -Havoc Days Of Innocence 4

"You bit me!" Ed "Oh yes, I did, Not in the places I want to; but I did bite you." Envy Things Envy is No Longer Aloud to do in the Military

For a moment or two, they sat in their familiar silence, both trying to figure something to add; both failing, miserably. Gentle Exhaustion 6

Ed found himself drawing blanks in the back of his mind. They were very nice blanks, mind you, but they weren't very helpful. Gentle Exhaustion 6

“You know, you'll really fall behind at this rate.” -Ed “Are you my secretary?” Roy “No, but I'll be the one you blame when you need to sit at your desk for three days.” Ed Gentle Exhaustion 6

Ed's blade-arm was still Roy's throat. "Ed, this may sound weird to you, but this is kinda a turn on," -Roy Slaving for the Past Sequel 5

"So you're going to be a flame alchemist, eh?" Ed "I guess I am. I actually like it as opposed to the stuff we've been doing," Roy "Well, I think it suits you. I find it kinda sexy too," Ed Slaving for the Past Sequel 3

"Say, Ed, do you think dragons are real?" Roy "Huh? Dragons? I can't say I've ever seen one." Ed "Well, what about fairies?" Roy "Nope." Ed "Hmm...And unicorns?" Roy "Okay, okay, you're out of it. Go to bed. Now!" Ed "No, wait, wait. Hear me out on this. If dragons, and fairies, and unicorns were real, then wouldn't that just be awesome? I mean, instead of driving cars, we could drive dragons. We could have fairies as our little sidekicks. And unicorns...well...unicorns would just be awesome! They're so pretty!"-Roy Slaving for the Past Sequel 2

"Kimblee, good to see you again, now fuck off." -Roy Slaving for the past chapter 1 Sequel

"One of these days, I'm going to wake up to you raping me..,"-Russell Things Envy is No Longer Aloud to do in the Military

"You...what?" -Roy "Am I speaking French? I said: 'I took the batteries out!'" -Envy Things Envy is No Longer Aloud to do in the Military

"It wasn't one of those nice one either -- the ones that played your favorite song, or the kind where it turned on the radio. No, Envy didn't have that kind of luck. This one had a high-pitch noise that made your ears bleed" -Things Envy is No Longer Aloud to Do in the Military

“Stop trying to turn me against him. I trust him completely.” Havoc “Hm... You’re right. I suppose he isn’t all bad... I will say this for him: he can give one hell of a blowjob.” Kimblee Altered Perception

“I should have bound myself to Hughes... that would have been perfect: Mustang murdered by his best friend... oh, it’s pure poetry.” -Kimblee Altered Perception 9

Ed ignored--or tried to ignore--the twinge of arousal he felt at the sight. Now, being a teenager with a libido (sex!), and one who'd had sex (sex!) at that, he was beginning to regard the penis as a treacherous foe (sex!). Sometimes it reared its head whether you wanted it to or not--and quite literally, at that. -Wasteland

He'd never liked cock before; it was sickening, but he was a new homunculus now, and for one reason or another, he found himself craving sex. Lots and lots of sex. With Edward. -Envy Wasteland

"Fucking buggering, as we say in England. Cock up the arse. Ficken, in Deutsch. Don't look so upset. I don't care what end you're sticking your dick into or what end of you is getting stuffed." -Wasteland

"Drunk? NO! If I was fuckin' drunk I'd-know-I-was-fuckin'-DRUNK." -Ed Wasteland

“Wrath! What are you doing?” -Envy “Helping them!” -Wrath “Why?” -Envy “Because you don’t deserve to win.”-Wrath The Ties that Bind 9

“Why should I? Our father loved you two the most, so don’t you think it’s equivalent to get my revenge?” -Envy "You’ve already satisfied your equivalency! You already killed Brother once!”-Al The Ties That Bind 8

“Alphonse, If you’d be so kind, would you carry the colonel down to the entrance and hail him a cab?” -Maes “What? Now, Maes, really...” -Roy “Do you really think that you can walk that far on your own?” -Maes “No... but, I--” -Roy “It would be faster if he just carried you, and I want you out of here now.” -Maes “You can be a real asshole sometimes, Maes.” -Roy Altered Perception 8

“You fucking traitor!” -Roy “I see you’ve let your hair grow out a little. It’s cute. I meant to say something about it before, but I was too distracted by the delicious feel of your blood on my hands...” -Kimblee Havoc “Monster!” -Roy“Aw, listen to the pot calling the kettle black...”-Kimblee/Havoc Altered Perception 8

“I want to talk to Jean,” -Breda “I’m sure he would if he could, but he’s had enough fun for one day and he’s a little tired, so shut up.” -Kimblee/Havoc “Fine, we’ll talk to you then.”-Fuery “I have nothing to say to either of you.” Kimblee/Havoc “Then just sit back and listen, because I have a lot to say to you, you sick fucker.” Fuery Altered Perception 8

“Jean? Can you hear me?” Breda “Jean is unreachable at the moment, Would you like to leave a message?” -Kimblee/Havoc Altered Perception 8

"Time had no place here, though, and logic was just as outcast." Altered Perception 7

. “Tell me who you are.” -Maes“Oh, come now...I’m going through all this trouble to keep him from telling you who I am, so what makes you think I’d just let the cat out of the bag? Honestly, you didn’t even say ‘please’.”-Kimblee/Havoc “Why are you doing this?”Maes “I wanted to kill Mustang, I thought that was obvious.” -Kimblee/Havoc Altered Perception 7

“...Lieutenant, I don’t think I live here,” -Roy “I know you don’t; I do. “You might have convinced us not to take you back to the hospital, sir, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you alone. You can sleep on the couch." -Riza “Aw, you’re not going to let me share a bed with you?”-Roy “Sorry. I have a policy against sleeping with men who haven’t bathed in three days.”-Riza “Hey, it’s not my fault. I’ve been unconscious! I will, however, allow you to give me a sponge bath if it will make you happy.”-Altered Perception 6

"Hope was a painful thing, and it was almost impossible to kill completely." Babylon 23

"Ed itched to lash out, to make this facsimile of the man feel as much pain as his victims, but it would be useless. You couldn't punish a ghost." Babylon 23

“I...that’s very mature of you.” Roy “It happens, but don’t get used to it.”-Ed Best I Ever Had 4

Edward wished vaguely that the man didn’t have such an amazing smile. It made it harder to remember that he was a bastard." Ed Best I Ever Had 4

"Just because he hosted part of the damn gate didn't mean it could order him around."-Ed thoughts-Babylon 23

“Two people who are both disinclined to commence work early and with a predilection for sleeping in would be more liable to compound an existing problem.”-Falman “They’d set an alarm, Falman.” -Fuery “But with their inclinations they might ignore the alarm and go back to sleep.”-Falman “Or they’d stay awake and have sex all morning,”-Fuery “That sounds like the voice of experience,”-Hawkeye “I only do that on my days off, Lieutenant,”-Fuery

"I am not allowed to scream “Rape! Rape!” in a public place every time Professor Snape walks by." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to randomly develop an accent and switch them at will." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to “inform” people that they have cancer and will promptly die in four days." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I may not tell people that if they anger me I will eat their first born child" 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"Mike Rotch has heard every possible joke about his name; I may not repeat them." 150 Things I am not aloud to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to lick people just for the fun of it." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I may not chase Seamus Finnegan around school in search of his ‘Pot o’ Gold’." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to yodel during important parts of Dumbledore’s speech." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to refer to my brother as my ‘clone’." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"Just because I dress up in a rabbit costume, it does not mean I’m the Easter Bunny; it means I’m weird." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I may not ‘frolic’ to class." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help ‘polishing their wand’. No matter how funny their reactions are." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"I am not allowed to randomly point at people and shriek." 150 Things I am not allowed to do in Hogwarts

"Aren't you a guy?"-Ed "I'm special."-Envy Jealous Much 3

"After all, how did such things survive if there was not a grain of truth behind them?" Roy's thoughts Monday's Child

“I could get out of here if I wanted to. I could kill you effortlessly.” Havoc “I’d like to see you try it,” Maes Altered Perception 5

“He never did understand that he was just as worthless as the rest of us, a wallowing rodent in the mud, just waiting to be claimed by Death or the highest bidder. Oh no, he thought he was above it. Clean. Pristine. Trying to take on an air of aristocracy while really he was just rotting in the mire with everyone else, a stinking corpse that just hasn’t realized that it’s dead yet. But he never fooled me. He was powerful, yes... and oh, could he make fireworks when he gathered the nerve—such beautiful combustion, like the sun and moon reaching simultaneous coitus, a cosmic orgasm of violence—but the fire in him died long before I killed him. It was almost a mercy.”-Kimblee/Havoc Altered Perception 5

"But I'm surprised O'chibi, I would have sworn you were a virgin that night. Or was I focusing on the wrong end." Envy Dark Humor

"You don't like Colonel's much do you sis?" Al "They seem to be so damned useless...I guess it goes with the rank." Ed Returning Echoes 32

"That is if the great Colonel Mustang doesn't mind me taking up his couch for the next few hours." Auric/Ed "Just dont bleed on it." Roy Full Circle 6

"Here's the first rule of dealing with the press. Don't. Deny, deny, deny, deny. Better still, just smile and be enigmatic and extrusive and don't respond to the damned questions." Ed/Auric Full Circle 28

"I always thought you might be gay." Al Conversion 10

"Uh..." "I'm not small I'm compact." Ed Conversion 12

"Does the phrase 'I'll transmute you inside out and into next week' ring any bells?" Ed/Auric "You wouldn't, not in front of Riza." Havoc "I would never stand in the way of a superior officer." .."See you in a week, Jean." Riza Full Circle 36

"If that's a hot shower, I'm coming with you." Ed/Auric "Why Auric, I had no idea you were interested. I'm flattered, but don't you think it' a bit forward, considering we haven't even had a first date yet? And it might not be a good idea to ...physically exert yourself in your condition." -Roy "Don't worry old man. I'll take it easy on you. At least initially. And if you still think you can take me after that..."-Ed/Auric Full Circle chapter 7

"How can you sit there and smile after everything? Have you finally lost your mind? That would be a fitting end for the great flame alchemist." Maria Ross, Entre Nous 3 by Spirix

"Later Colonel, oh and take care of youself Roy." Ed Full Circle 8

"No offense but Military Intelligence is an oxymoron." Ed/Auric Full Circle 6

"Brother, if you can hear me, you had no right-no right- to make that choice." He said aloud. He could almost hear his brother scoffing and pointing out that not three minutes prior to said choice being made, Al had done exactly the same thing. -Full Circle Chapter 2

"Roy. Stop. You need some rest, you're not thinking straight. Because when you love someone-yes love, -don't give me that look-you make the time." -Maes Hughes -Full Circle chapter 24

"You're evil, you know that? It must be Winry's influence"..."Should have stuck Mustang with you...wait, then you'd be a manipulative bastard, that wouldn't work either, not to mention the thought of you two married." -Ed/Auric-Full Circle Chapter 24

“Last I checked, hydrogen and oxygen were both highly inflammable gases. Time to put theory into practice, eh, Fullmetal.” -Roy-Full Circle 18

“Who are you?” -Gate “What does that have to do with it?” -Ed “Everything.”-Gate –Full Circle 19

“We are who we are homunculus. And you can call me Roy Mustang, or just Major General. Hell, you can even call me the Flame Alchemist.” ...”But whatever you do remember the pain.” -Roy-Full Circle 19

“No problem.”...”Although I have to say it's becoming a bit of a habit with you.”...”Much more of this and I'll be forced to conclude you're falling for me.” Ed/Auric-Full Circle 15

“If you love someone set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours. If not it was never meant to be.” -Roy-Full Circle 11

“As for Mustang and Edward, I can't see any reason to be against their involvement with each other, but they have to understand that it can't be used as either an excuse or a reason when it comes to carrying out their duty. If they start using it as such, then others' could use it as well.” -Fuhrer Micheal “Like You?”-Councilor Kinase “Like me.” -Fuhrer Micheal -Returning Echoes 32

“Remind me never to piss you off.” -Havoc “Well then you'd better not die on me...I'm not one of your easy girlfriends. I expect to be wined and dined you know.”-Riza—Full Circle 13

"I have no intention of forcing myself on you. I plan to make you fall with the utmost care." Roy in 2sweet2Be Forgotten (aka a doujinshi)

"General." Al appealed."You can stop this. Please. You could have stopped Ed and you didn't. Don't make that mistake again!." -Full Circle chapter 10

"There is a soul nearby. You aren't bound by the gods of this place. If you fetch it for us we can eat." Death "I'm on a diet." Ed The Truth Decays

“Just the fact he likes to sneak into my bed. I’m going to start locking him in the laundry room overnight. I can’t have a panda taking up the other side of my bed. I don’t swing that way.” Roy Believe in Me 48

Heavy is the head that wears the crown..." Havoc -Full Circle chapter 26

"Look at that , she's going to make a man out of him." -Ed "Yes how sweet. Now lets get back in the closet so I can make a woman out of you."-Roy--Hide and Seek, by Spirix

"Sure, Mustang bitched about Hughes a lot and the two of them argued like an old married couple...but that's just how they functioned."-Breda's thoughts-Altered Perception 2

"Someone is trying to murder Mustang?"..."Can I help?"-Ed-Altered Perceptions 2

"You STFU and I kick your ass. It's the law of equivalent exchange...bitch." Ed

"Perspective comes better with distance" Al As the Ruins Fall 3

“You always look lovely though.” Roy “Don’t make me sound like a girl.” Ed “Oh, Ed. I know you are not a girl. I’ve experienced the fact that you are not a girl. I’ve gone to work limping because you’re not a girl.” Roy Gate Ultimatum 21

“Don’t ever do that again, Okay? I mean the bug thing.” Ed “So, the kissing and fondling, that would be acceptable?” Roy Just Once 1

"You always have answers to everything...are you the gate?" Nessa "No, but I've been there a few times." Me 5-30-09

"Are you a man or a married man...I mean a man or my brother?" Ed Life After Truth 5

“You must be strong now. You must never give up. And when people make you cry and you are afraid of the dark, don't forget the light is always there.”

"Being an ass is what I do best" Anthony "Either that or taking it up the ass. Cause its obvious he has a stick up there." Me

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."

"If this is the moment I stand here on my own, if this is my right of passage that some how leads me home, I might be afraid but its my turn to be brave. If this is the last time before we say goodbye, at least it's the first day of the rest of my life, I can't be afraid cause it's my turn to be brave..."

"You can murder the murderer,but that doesn't take away the murder. You can murder the liar.but it doesn't take away the lie. You can murder the ones who caused you pain, but that doesn't take away the pain..."

“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

“If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.”

“She won’t eat you, she’s a vegetarian!” Ed “Yeah, so say the people who haven’t been eaten by the horses. The only reason there’s no documentation is because no one’s ever survived.” Roy Circa 1950 30

"I've got a little itch down there. Would you mind?"

“I have someone to pay a visit to. And a few old friends to call before I make my visit." Ed “What sort of friends?” Roy “The shady kind.” Ed Circa 1950 30

"My friends do stupid things, which is why I never let them out of my sight."

“Good, I’d hate for you to stop working. Whatever would I do with a lifeless doll?” Ed “Never a kink I was into.” Roy “Not like that! Good Gate you’re impossibly perverted sometimes.” Ed Circa 1950 30

“To bad the bastard isn’t here he could probably put this out.” Ed “Why Edward as much as I love you confidence in me, I thought you said alchemy couldn’t work in this world and any way I can start fires not put them out.” Roy Why I Hate School 2

"You can't get a bush to burn blue." "Unless you use propane." "Sorry miss, you can't take that propane tank on a plane." "But I need to burn a bush blue to talk to God."

“Hello my name is Riza Havoc. I’m your new neighbor.” Why I hate school 2

“The face no one can say no to should always be trusted with food choices.” Roy 'Ed promptly flicked a piece of rice at him, and resumed eating.' Paradox 1

"States that keep us far apart, track the beating of my heart. Mark the places in my book with photographs we never took."

"There was a kid named Sebastian. And I was like, 'can I take you home and train you to be a butler?'"

"And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you."

"This week the trend was to borrow all the strength that you could lend, keep my head above the water and not descend back to where I said I'd never go again." Becca Demczuk

"So, is that what you call a getaway? Well tell me what you got away with. Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish. I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids. Have another drink and drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt, and again when your head goes through the windshield."

"I'd say so. Cole wanted to warn me off. He thinks I'm encroaching on his territory." Roy "Well, you are, although if Ed heard anyone call him “territory” he'd gut them in a second. What did you do? Please tell me you didn't set him on fire. Gracia says I'm not allowed to help you move bodies any more." Maes Untouchable

"Wherever I may roam; where I lay my head is home." James

"I see what is wrong with the world, so many things I want to say, but words fall on deaf ears while the music is getting out of control." Me 4-28-09

"All you are to me is dead skin."Savannah Faith 4-27-09

"As I look back at countless crossroads and the middle where I stay, right up the beaten path to boredom where the fakest fucks get laid." Savannah Faith

"Want to know what I don't like, kids that talk about people behind their backs." Ms. Foster looking at me "Well I hate adults who aren't mature enough to tell them to stop." Me 4-21-09

"Oh right, till is a lot like you. He plays pranks for no reason, and then runs away. In the end he got caught and executed." Chiaki "That's not cheerful at all!! Why do you say I'm like till?!" Nodame "Because sometimes I also want to kill you." Chiaki Nodame Cantabile

"What do you have against swans...?" "Uh- hello! Field trip two years ago! Swan went into my..." "...Oh! Bookbag?" "Yeah, I just...forgot the word.."

"But I do keep an open mind, you'd be surprised what manages to find its way in there." Bridge to Terribithia

"Time flies and there is nothing we can do but watch as our lives unfold onto the paper, with the clock hands going tick, tick, tick." Me 4-14-09

"I went shopping." Ethan "Obviously." Lucas "Now that I'm engaged, I need to be more domesticated. I'm going to learn how to cook!" Ethan "So that's what my horoscope meant about lots of fire and screaming today." Lucas Ctrl+Alt+Del Plus One Cooking

"The ninjas were late for the tea party, the Mad Hatter Hatted madly, and expressed that he was erroneously apologetic since the tea was merely water." PS Forums Three Word Story

"If homosexuality is a disease, I better call in to school tomorrow. Yeah, I won't be in. Still queer."'

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"

"Everyone wants to be happy, nobody wants to feel pain. But you can't ever see the rainbow without getting wet by the rain."

"Never comprimise. Even in the face of Armageden."

"Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."

"Oh Shut up Mr. Self Scarifice. You're not dead yet. I swear, you're the biggest drama queen of them all." Spark "Did your cat just make a gay joke. Because I've got a comeback about him being a little puss-" Szark "SZARK!" Mrs. Deegan Dominic Deegan Oracle for Hire

"I wanna be the girl he gives his hoodie to wear and cuddles up next to when it's cold. He'll be the one who comes up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist, catches me off guard, and whispers 'You look beautiful.'"

"Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one." - House, House MD

"Look, I'll kill the rat for you and give you the experience. It would have slaughtered you anyway." - Aeris "Hmm...I tie the rat's tail to a stick!" - Leo "What?" - Aeris "It's a rat flail!" - Leo, VG Cats

"Yes Lee! Let the power of youth explode!" - Gai-sensei, Naruto "You do realize that statement could be taken in so many different ways, all of them wrong."

"If you strangle a Smurf, what color does it turn?"

"You know, for an intelligence officer, you're not very intelligent." - Zeva, NCIS

"Is this the part where I say who's there and something creepy happens?" - Spike Angel

"Why is it that all men are idiots?" - Rin "Because all men used to be boys, and we all know how they act when they see something distracting." - Wandering Hitokiri "Point taken." - Rin

"I see. So basically, you're a Shinigami? And you came all the way from some place called Soul Society to vanquish evil spirits? Which means that monster earlier was one of those evil spirits? And it attacked that little girl? Okay, I belie-- NO WAY I'LL BELIEVE THAT, DUMBASS!" - Ichigo, Bleach

"Master Sergeant Feury, during your last physical examination we discovered a severe case of athletes foot... and we now believe that it is affecting your brain." - Hawkeye,

"If you're staring at me, it better be because I-'m the suspect. If not, get back to work or I swear you're all demoted to something that involves touching shit with your hands!" Agent Morgan Eagle Eye

"I had gay sex at church camp...3 times" PostSecret

"I only love 2 of my children" PostSecret

"I cheated on my SAT's and I got a scholarship" PostSecret

"My family is rich, but I shoplift everyday." PostSecret

"I'm sorry I fought so hard to live and that you had to die alone. If we could go back to that night I would go with you..." PostSecret

"In 6th grade I would spend my lunch period in the nurse's office because I had no one to sit with at the cafeteria. I pretended to be sick." PostSecret

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." Hanjuluver

"A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work." Hanjuluver

"But mom! All my friends are doing it!"Bob "If you friends jumped off of a building, would you?" Bob's Mom "Yes, because then there would be padding for when I landed!" Bob Hanjuluver

He turned the knob and went in slowly then from above something fell on him, something that was crispy and good and smelled like…. popcorn shrimp? “MY BRETHREN!” Full metal fell to his knees sobbing. Hanjuluver

“I SWEAR IRONY IS ONE OF THE HOMUNCULI AND HE’S FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE!” Hanjuluver

"Though..what is it you want to see so badly~? Or do you just enjoy getting lost in your own madness?"Serberio AiW RP

"If the man was only to tease if he could deliver, it was obvious he had a lot of delivering to do." Bekkah AiW RP

"She was almost sure that if someone told her to walk off a bridge, her sister would nod and proceed to do so. She was clever though, and for her age incredibly smart. She'd pick a low bridge, at least." Lareha AiZ RP

"Well, what cream do you prefer? We have ice cream, butter cream, goat cream, elephant cream, coffee cream...Then there's my cream; but I suppose we have to save that for later, won't we?" Damon AiW RP

"Welcome to the party. Have a blast, but make sure not to lose your head. I have a few times. Damon and Liz had a royal fun time helping me find it."Zach AiW Rp

"My problems are not petty and in fact are very important..a hare without her tea is like a Cheshire without his smile." Charlie AiW RP

"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does." Duchess Alice in Wonderland

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at. Up above the world you fly. Like a teetering, in the sky." The Door Mouse Alice in Wonderland

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" Alice in Wonderland

"Why are you guys walking so slow." Caitlyn "Yeah, that's why I'm hovering." Me "I like when you hover." Cyrsta

"It's not about the past anymore, it's about tomorrow. So I'm not gonna say a word, know that I want to. I want to scream to the sky that I would do anything to get you back. But I'm going to let you go, because that's what you want. Once you walk out that door I'm going to let go of everything I've been holding onto. So we can both have tomorrow." Psych

"Why's Kevin in this picture, I thought it was just the guys." Shawn "I am getting that fixed!" Kevin "Fix it all you want, your still daddy's little princess."Shawn Somewhere on Facebook

"I've never danced with a commoner before."Tamaki "Well I never danced with an idiot before so I guess were even." Haruhi

"If ever I can taste through my nose, I don't wonder." Is it Good to put a Nintendo Zapper in the Microwave

"I'm a perv!" Envy cosplayer

"So...Do you and Robert do... anything?"Nessa "...What? EW NO! I'm straight!" "...Oh..."Nessa "But...He does touch my butt sometimes..." "What?"Nessa "Yeah...And there was this time at lunch, where he sat down next to me and gripped my leg and said 'Hey Babe'" "...Interesting." Nessa "Yeah, he touched my butt too!" Jake "WHAT!?" Nessa

"I remember on the DC field trip, he laid in the bed with me, and i was all "NO! GET IN THE OTHER BED!" "And there was one time where he just laid on me" Jared "...That's hot." Nessa

"How about kids ... you want, you want kids? " " ... Do I want to have kids ?... Ah, I want to have sex ... if that's the excuse, sure."

Jay Leno: ... you have like 2 million friends on MySpace ...Dane Cook: ... that's true, some people out here, my friends ...Jay Leno: ... how do you do that, I mean 2 million ...Dane Cook: ... that's a lot of time spent sitting in your underwear eating Froot Loops, clicking accept over and over again ...

"... when you don't have love, it is like there's a party going on and everybody was invited except for you ... and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain ..."

Jay Leno: ... now, do you believe in the concept of marriage, are you a marriage guy? Dane Cook: ... I do believe in the concept of marriage ... Jay Leno: ... in the concept ... Dane Cook: ... I would like to keep my a ceremony very small, very intimate, I don't believe in an ostentatious wedding, because I want to save my money for the divorce ... Jay Leno: ... you want to plan ahead ...

"If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don't become terrified, you mess back ... If somebody calls and was like "have you checked the children?" I'd be like "I killed them!"

"When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion"

"I hate dogs." Sebastian "...Woof..." Ciel Kuroshitsuji Anime

"The first person I killed was my wife. She was nagging me about something and without meaning to I chopped her to pieces." Barry The Chopper

"Is it a good read?" "No it's shit." "Wouldn't say that at a book club, would you?" Graham Nortan Show 12-27-08

"If you make him cry for something; other then his own stupidity, I won't forgive you." Hiro Gravitation Ep 3

"I thought about how it would be better if people never had to part. But is that really the case? For example, if life did go on forever and if people were always together and never had to be apart. The time spent together and the smiles...would they still be this precious?" Black Knight 1 manga

"You scared me half to death." "You'll be closer to that before we finish." Valkyrie

"Why remove a mad man just to have a lunatic take his place. " Valkyrie

"I am involved with high treason with all means available to me. Can I count you in?" "For anything sir. Anything at all." "Anything is a very dangerous word Lieutenant." Valkyrie

"Envy, envy envy envy, Envy is really good sex...of course with great sex is great emotional bonds, but we argue a lot. Makes sex much more fun. Al is my brother, and Roy is just someone for me to have at my feet like a dog whenever I need him." Me in char for Ed

"One thing the French Revolution didn't have was a good outfit..kinda frilly...didn't really say revolution..with lace." Ask a Ninja 21

"The Truth has a secretary?" Me "Of course I have a secretary! Do you know how hard it is to keep track of all those souls?" Mimi 11-15-08

"I'm very flattered, but I can't return your feelings..." "If you're flattered , isn't that a good thing?" "But were such different ages." "You stopped agging so I'll catch up." "I'm not human." "What difference does that make around here?" Black Sun Silver Moon

"This is your costume?" Mom "Yeah." Me "You look like a normal kid." Mom "That's the point." Me (I dress gothic, so for Halloween this year dressed as a prep)

"Why is he so popular?" Tamaki Episode 1 Ouran

"What's the matter, your staring off into space. You're not falling for me are you?" Tamaki Episode 1 Ouran

"If you were in your car driving and a guy was quite literally sparkling, you wouldn't be keeping your eyes on the road." Twilight review

"Edward has the mood swings of a pregnant woman with multiple personality disorder." Twlight Review

"That's supposed to scare me? You see this guy behind me, he scares me a hell of a lot more then you do...no offense" Newman Sanctuary Episode 1

"Stop right there and reconsider how far you want to take that joke." Cursed Sword 4

"Don't let your gaurd down unless you're with me." Sano "Ah...Okay." Mizuki "Are you sure you want to give in so easily? If I'd known it was that easy, theres a whole lot of things I'd like to do with you." Sano Hana-Kimi 2

"What a couple of broken ribs..I'm fine." Two Guesses

“Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to un-ring a bell.” –Shana Alexander-

"Nightmares should be more appreciated...they make the waking life more appealing." Stupid Fox by SilentReaper

"Unfortunately, more than half of my school thinks 'wadupwitdatyo' is a proper English word" Emily 10-8-08

"He who does not fear his own sword is not worthy to hold it." Shuhei Hisagi and Tousen Bleach 325

"I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd unsheathe your sword right away. I thought I'd have to get you to unsheathe it. So does that mean you see me as a worthy opponent?" Ichigo "At the very least, I see you as someone who must be destroyed." Ulqui "Works for me." Ichigo

"Is this really kenpachi?" Ichigo "Of course it is, did they kick your ass so bad you lost your mind?" Kenpachi Bleach 298

"Let's go Renji." Ichigo "Since when do I have to approve of the crap you do." Renji Bleach chapter 247 pg 20

"If they swing their swords for the sake of 'order'. I will file my arrows for 'pride'. Then I will punch for the sake of a 'bond'." Bleach chapter 242 pg 6

"I wish I could live five times over. I'd stuff myself full with delicious things 5 times each, I'd have five different jobs, and then for those five times. I'd fall in love with the same person." Orihime Chapter 237 of Bleach

"You don't need experience to see what love is." Me 10-4-08

"When life gives you lemons have sweet and sour sex until your body can no longer move." Me -10-4-08

"Are you riding the horse." (Aunt to a little kid) "She's humpin the hell out of it."Pj

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them."

"If you want to live through the night, you will do exactly as I say." Valkyrie

"He's like a ripple on the water. If you try to bring it close to you it pulls away. Though it my brush against your feet, if you try to catch it, it will pull further away. He's a man who can't be caught."

"People come and go, you can do nothing but have a good time with those around you whenever possible." Bianca 4-21-08

"To realize ones destiny is a persons only real obligation." The Alchemist 22

"You boys had a long journey together. All the people you helped along the way. All the hardships, the pain of loosing friends you loved, the determination, sweat, and blood. Don't you think that may have been the price you've paid." Hohenheim Full Metal anime

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not neccesary, men alone are capable of every wikidness." Joseph Conrad

"The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to write a crime report about them." Rand K Milholland

"Sexual tension, male and female dynamics. All part of the high school experience." She's The Man

"They say the best weapon is one you don't have to fire. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how dad did it. That how America does it. And it's worked out pretty well so far." Iron Man

"I'm probably in the sky, flying with my fishes. Or maybe in the ocean, swimming with the pegions. See my world is different." Lil Wayne

"You call me a whore but I'd never fuck you."

"I'm a loser, but I know you love me."

"I'm not perfect: I'll annoy you, tick you off, say stupid things and then take them back, put all that aside, you'll never find someone that cares or loves you more then me."

"Are you a cop."Lust "No I'm a plant." Envy "A plant..I thought men like you were usually called a fruit." Lust "Funny" Envy Random Video

"I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend."

"Boy are like purses, cute full of crap and can always be replaced."

"Dangle your own carrot." Ad

"I love the nights I can't remember, with the friends I can't forget."

"Hi, my name is Doug. That's god spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it."

"Hey, do you mind bending over again for a second?" Pick-up Lines Part 1 EseerErre

"Hey I lost my shadow, can I be yours?"

"I've decided that if while at work you say, "Someone shoot me," and you see 3 C-7s raised, you are in the wrong line of work. I'm getting used to them but the damn things are hard to toss and flip. I love how we get yelled at for running with scissors but not for tossing automatic weapons. Though to be honest, if it drops on the ground... well I'm too scared to even want to find out what happens to use if it does." Spirix

"I'm going back to that start." Coldplay

"My mother taught me purple, Although she never wore it. Wash-grey was her circle, The tenement her orbit My mother taught me golden, And held me up to see it, Above the broken molding, Beyond the filthy street My mother reached for beauty, and for it's lack she died, Who knew so much of duty, She couldn't teach me Pride."

"Who has seen the wind? Neither I nor you. But when the leaves hang trembling, The wind is passing through. Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I. But when the trees bow down their heads. The wind is passing by." -Christina Rossetti

"A house is built of logs and stone, Of tiles and posts and piers; A home is built of loving deeds That stand a thousand years." -Victor Hugo

"If the one who gave me life wants the real me to die...Then all I can do is die."

"So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt."

"Life is like a treadmill. No matter how fast you go, or how hard you try, sometimes you just don't get anywhere."

"Light travels faster then sound, that is why at first some people seem bright, until you hear them speak."

"All of us are either users or tools, or both." Zabuza Naruto

"Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Fuck me over and I'll do it to you twice as bad."

":enjoying this thread tremendously:" Piano Squall "First we hear from our fearless leader in a while and the only image I get is him giggling like a little school boy." Captain Yaoi

"All things are made from one, and all things return to one. In other words, one is all. By means of one, we have all, with one, all things exist. Without the whole, there is no piece." Kiarrens Da Pic Notebook 74

"Yeah back in the day, kids played cops and robbers. Now it's all about ninjas and pirates."

"What do you do all day?" Raven "Sleep." Alex "You sleep?...Really." Raven "Is there something wrong with that?" Alex "Well, most people sleep at night." Raven "I'm not most people." Alex Vampire Kisses

"You boys are fools. You do have a home, and a caring family waiting for you." Juis Armstrong FMA episode 17

"Do you think a man can change into an animal." Raven "If he's with the right girl." Alex Vampire Kisses 151

"One cannot live because of the other." Bianca -2008

"I'd hate to give you my opinion. But you're her parents so I have to. I hope to marry this imperfect girl." Katsuya Honda "Marry her? Are you sane, sir?" Kyoko's Mom. "I'd like to think that I am, at least, more so then you." Katsuya Fruits Basket 16

"Thank you lat proud quincy." Bontou Bleach 79 anime

"And why not revenge? When someone close to you is killed and you know who did it. How can there be anything more important to you then revenge? If that's being an adult then I'm never growing up." Edward Elric FMA Anime

"It's wrong. I thought I made an equivalent exchange. My body, mind, and soul for his. Yet here I am still alive. So does that mean Dante was right but in the opposite extreme, and I got something for nothing. Or does that mean in reality, Al wasn't..." FMA Movie Edward Elric

"Roy Mustang is dead sexy...in a miniskirt" (Do note, I see this as the joke it is)

"You have brother's ...two great ones." Hughes to Winry FMA Anime

Hawkeye rolled her eyes and cocked her gun noisily. “Not now, children. You can play later.” (Riza) Dark Dreams 2

"Life rapes you. It never stops or slows down. No matter how much you beg." Nicole

"You've come back to check out the night class? Or is there a vampire among us you want to kill...teacher?" Kaname "Hello, Kaname Kuran. Unfortunately my execution list is empty right now. If you fall asleep because my lecture is boring, I can add you to the list, you know?" Zero's Master Vampire Knight v2

"Duo was seriously considering borrowing someone’s gun and going on a killing spree. It’d be a short spree, for sure, as Preventor guns only held six bullets, but it’d do wonders for his mood."

"On the dollar bill...instead of in God We Trust...In Gates We Trust." "Mr. Gates when did you realize you were creating a monopoly?" "Monopoly is just a game...I'm trying to control the fucking world."

My boy friend haunts me on live journal

"Does this outfit make me look fat." "No your face does."

"Hey mom, I think that antique shop is finally open." No it's not...it's never open." "The doors are open." "Oh...too late." Me and my Mom

“I ended something before it could bring negative repercussions. It was a mistake.” Roy “Which was the mistake? Starting it... or ending it...?” Riza End of An Era (One-shot)

"We're only pawns in their sibling livery." "I am no one's pawn, Shawn. I am a queen!"Psych

"Don't try to be the Queen Edward. The Queen may seem the better choice, but with a strong will, even the pawn can take the king at it's best."Me based of Descent (By the way, it's meant to sound like Roy's saying it to Ed)

"I'm a helpless romantic." Me "Poor you." Tragedy

" And then the Gate is also involved, because it likes to screw with people." Tragedy

"I always wanted to drown my troubled, but I can never get my enemy to go swimming."

"A battle without risks is merely a childrens quarrel." Bleach

"Well that was needlessly dramatic."Hollow Fields

"I may have lived to long." Buonto Bleach

"I think some people call this love. I call it hell." Vampire Kisses

"Time tells the truth."

"You've got to be nuts." "Exactly."Ocean's Thirteen

"They say the route to all problems is the mouth."Yourirchi Bleach

"I exist, therefore I shall eat you."

"He should no better then to hope. Hadn't he learned his lesson earlier." Roy Number Twenty Eight 14

"Your mind may believe it, but you can't lie to your heart. Like a vivid nightmare you will never forget it." "That's true, but at the same time...I can not lie to my heart when it desires to change." Black Sun Silver Moon 3

" ...for what, I do not know. But simply, I'm here today to get my revenge." - Ed's eyes widened in horror as he realised what the Flame Alchemist was going to do when he raised his hand. And he closed his eyes, bracing for the flames to come boiling him. The flames didn't come. What came, was merely a finger poking him. Finger ...poking...? In the Name of a Sin

"Dr. Cox is at home but he said Carol could cover for him." Carla "Is Carol the one with the really firm butt?" Turk "Well I'm Carol...so yes." "It's disturbing how much you care about your own butt." Elliot

"Sex is like racketball. You work for 30 minutes, work up a sweat, and hope not to get hit in the eye." Dr. Cox

"Don't believe in yourself. Believe in me who believes in you." Guerren Lagaan

"Oh great another cocky surgeon who wants to start surgery before the attending arrives." "I'm sorry I just thought that if we finished here quicker, we might have enough time to pull the stick outta ya ass." Turk

"You want to lay the fate of the world on a kids chimera?" Transformers

"The 90s called they want their teenage angst back." "They called again, they want their joke back."

"Fighting for the weak, makes you stronger then fighting for those with no need of more power." Me

"I'm getting tired of this can't we just aim the cannons at Bradley's tower and be done with it?"

"In 50 years don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" Transformers

"Bought a car, turned out to be an alien robot...who knew." Transformers

"I'm not a bitch, I just have a low bullshit tolerance."

"And I, Jack,the Pumpkin King, have grown so very tired of the same old thing.." Nightmare Before Christmas

"You don’t get to pick your own nickname. They’ve gotta give you one. It’s like we’re all tryin’ to make pets out of each other and we’re not comfortable unless we get to name ‘em." Laura Moncur

"How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that POPS up"

"You know you are in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye"

"If you stood in front of a mirror and held 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world"

"I put the three in threesome"

"Can I take your picture. I want santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas"

"If I tossed this 50c coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"

"Hey baby, I'm like a rubix cube. The more you play with me that harder I get"

"I'm so fucking fabulous, I piss glitter!"

"You're engaged." "Ew! Please don't say that out loud!"

"Stop that." "Do my pelvic thrusts turn you on?"

"You, me, whipped cream and handcuffs. Any questions?"

"Why does nothing here have a point?" "Candy doesn't have to have a point. It's candy." Charlie and the Chocolate factory

"I'll make you a deal." "I will not make any deals with you." "You haven't even heard what I'm offering." "It doesn't matter" "Dang it. And I really wanted...Oh well..." "All right. What is it you want?" - Bella and Edward

"...That made no sense" Emily "Your QUESTION made no sense" James

"A picture is worth a thousand dirty words." -YaoiCon email

"Let's make like hockey sticks and get the puck outta here!" -from Robot Chicken

"Have you ever been with a women before?" "I don't know what you people don't understand. I"M GAY."

"I just started Fullmetal, so I'm ages behind everyone." (Random Fanboy) "So I probably shouldn't tell you that Colonel Mustang is a homosexual."-Vic

"Caution, I may have the sudden urge to kiss you. Be Prepared"

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there."

"If it didn't matter, you wouldn't be thinking about it."

"You'll be so fast mother nature will be like "Slooooow doooown" and you'll be like "Fuck you!" and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!" -Powerthirst

"I was sitting here all alone, and I just randomly made a really loud, awkward moaning sound. Does that make me gay?" --Ray Sinico

"If I could say something to all the children of the world, I wouldn't say anything, I would listen"-Marilyn Manson

" Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole"

"I often travel to the depths of my mind only to find out nothing's there..."

"A stranger stabs you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back but a best friend doesn't carry kinfes!"

"I want a hot vampire boy dammit... Not a pony!" Somewhere on Deviantart

"Were you peeping on underage boys again, sensei?" "Don't be ridiculous, I'm a Christian man... Now, help me dump this body in the river. I think the police are onto me." -Unknown

"You can not make a triumph without loss, without suffering, without sacrifice" -Lord Of the Rings

"I'm not new to getting those e-Mails - honestly, I'm always amazed that, at the least, they got it right this time. (Oh, to be 12 again and getting "Do you want bigger boobs?" e-Mails. ) But still - when you're spam intake goes from an average 10 to 1,000, you're gonna' get bitchy. And oh, did I rant. And my friends - being that they're my friends - started e-Mailing me about Cialis, too. Copy/paste and all that jazz. Awesome. =P I love you guys. " _Author of Sticky Floors webcomic

"Boss you lost your leg in a great battle. Destiny is telling you to become a pirate!" Spark Dominic Deegan OFH

"The Cake is a lie."

Sin Of Tragedy: but there's nothing wrong with that, other than the fact that it is illegal aluishes11: nothing wrong at all

"Crazy doesn't even Begin to describe Me"

"You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever"

"Roy, if you don't get your fat, bloated butt over here I'm going to...Punch it all day long!" -Vic

"Hey Colonel...Popcorn cornal.." _Vic

"Do you want this?" "Is it yaoi?" "Are you yaoi?" "Are you offering?" I know Vic is one of them

"You know all those things I said about me not liking you. I meant every word of it." _Vic Mignogna

"After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." - J.K. Rowling,

"Hey Roy. I was just thinking about you...in a miniskit." Sonny Strait (Voice of Hughes)

"There's a lot of cute guys out here...Ooh is that Roy. Hi Roy." Sonny Strait (Voice of Hughes and that 40 year old drag queen we all love a.k.a. Ouran High School)

"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." - Dean Koo

"Now gentleman, let's be civilized, no need to scry and cream over who's second sight is better." "Don't you mean cry and scream?" "We can do all four if you like." Dominic Deegan Oracle for Hire

"Gloating never ever solves problems anywhere. I never gloat anymore because all it ever got me was a kick in the shins. And I like my shins."-Brother (On Pianosquall Forums 6-10-08)

"Sasuke sat in his ‘customary’ position, chin braced on interlocked fists and ignoring everyone around him, silently thinking that he’d been a real jerk at this age. The only person he hadn’t ignored entirely was Naruto, and that was because the baka would get so far into his face it was simply impossible." The Price of the future

"To understand the world we have only to follow one prinicple. Equivalent Exchange, the founding law of Alchemy. Can't give without giving right?" Edward Elric

"The classic sewer chase" Havoc "Don't follow him." Roy "Damn it Roy, I was just about to jump in." Havoc FMA

"There's this thing called growing up. Every little boy and every little girl, big boy and big girl. They become a man and a woman. And when a man and a women love each other..." Aaron Dismuke

"Never take a gun nut lightly." Yozakura Quartet 1

"Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime." G-Gordan Liddy

"The world went from sex, drugs and rock and roll. To aids, crack and techno."

"Let's see what you wagered. Eleventy billion dollars. That's not even a number." Trebek "Yet." Kiano Reeves Celebrity Jeopardy

"God gave them a penis and a brain but not enough blood to use both at the same time."

"It's so dark...I can sleep without closing my eyes, the night would be my eyelids." Ransford, The Most Dangerous Game

"You know what? I went to the pharmacy the other day..There was a pretty good looking woman behind the counter. She was selling cough drops, and I was tempted to buy them. They were only 7 bucks, too. Yup, and you know what? I didn't even have a cough!" - Elliot Moore - The Happening

-looks around and spots a plant- Hi ..I'm Elliot Moore. -slowly walks up to it-..I just want to have a peaceful conversation...Were all on good sides, right? ...-touches the leaf-...It's...plastic...I've been talking to a plastic plant...and I'm still talking to it.." - The Happening

"Good, I'm married to. I have eight children and none of them look like me. I'm worried, Kate." "I would be too." The Lake House

"How do I set my laser pointer to stun?"Unknown

"Do you have six fingers?" "Do you always start conversations this way?"- The Princess Bride

"I'm too tired for this shit."-Jennie "At least it's not full of shit."-Me "Jerk."-Jennie "Yup."-Me

“Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child.” -Ishida-Bleach volume 6 manga

“If your going to lose anyway, then make it a flashy fight.” -Renji-episode 90

“Terrorists creating a country?” -Code Geass Season 2 episode 2

“What you've done may lead to the end of the world.” -Youririchi – Bleach episode 91

“They're mating !!”-Unknown

“I told you to shut up and watch.” -Renji

“When I told my dad I was afraid of the thing in my closet he game me a .45.”-Mistletoe

"What's a bunion?" "It's something you get on your foot." "Oh! I thought it was a vegetable..." -Unknown

"Do they have anything in a mens?" "No... but... when has this stopped you before?" Pause "Point taken!" -Unkown

"Burning brilliantly and strong as a flame. It casts light upon everything yet those who shine will burn more brightly, more brilliantly. And that light is what draws them in right? But fire is just fire. The flames have no will. Is it the fire's fault it burns their wings?" Black Sun Silver Moon volume 4

deep voice "You will all perish (Brother) "Really?" (Mom)

"You're so rapeable!" ~scared~ "No..no I'm not...wait is that even a word." -Unknown

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When there's a party ...beers a must." -Unknown

"When god gives you lemons, find a new god!" -Brawndo

"I was sitting there taking me notes like a good little nerd." -Jennie (friend)

"You know what? Everyone has to lose their way once. It's the only way they learn." Fruits Basket 16

"The god of laughter was with you today." Chibi Vampire 7 extras

"For the love of god Envy, do not attack me with your skort...or any other fabric of clothing you have on you...please keep it on." -Me

"I see IT in the hallway. IT goes to Merry Weather. IT is walking with Aubrey cheerleader. IT is my nightmare and I can't wake up." -Speak page 45

"I will never go see a therapists."-Me "Why?"-Kendra "Take the word therapists, separate the and what do you get."-Me "The...rapists OHMYGOD. Is that why they always tell you to sit and relax... so they can rape you."-Kendra

"My karma ran over my Dogma." -Unknown

"For god's sake, where is God?" "Where he is? This is where-hanging here from this gallows." -Night pg 65

"How do I set my laser printer to stun?"-Unknown

"Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear"-Unknown

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."-Unknown

"Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children." - Samuel Levenson

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'."-Unknown

"It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?"-Unknown

"Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Warning: Survivors will be shot again."-Unknown

" Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."-Unknown

"What!! Is it so wrong to be attracted to the guys who want to destroy mankind?!"-Unknown

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity, I think I crossed the line a few miles back."-Unknown

"Roses are red, violets are black, please go to hell, and never come back."-Unknown

"My reality check bounced."-Unknown

"Heaven won't take me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over."-Unknown

"I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally."

"You may have created my past, and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future." - David Klass

"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.

Haruhi is forced to start wearing a girl's uniform in school, Tamaki and Haruhi start dating, and the Newspaper Club is back in action to destroy Tamaki. How will the Host Club react to all of this? Tama/Haruhi, ?/Haruhi

OOC AU Ed is in school and has a crush on Roy. What will happen if Roy finds out? Roy invites Ed to his house but he's holding back secrets. rated M for yaoi, violence in later chaps, blackmail & other stuff. CHAPTER 13 is up!

Ichigo and Orihime are partnered up for a new project. Will they survive parenthood? Not a cliched story, I swear! Update: Nominated "Most Creative" for IchiHime Awards- winners are chosen 9/31, so read and vote please!

Roy Mustang is a master manipulator, used to playing on the emotions of others. But what happens when his own emotions start to get the better of him where a certain blond alchemist is concerned? A series of RoyxEd manga-based stories. Warning:YAOI

Roy always had a crush on the volatile Fullmetal, but only when something happened to the boy he realized that he wanted to be more than his commanding officer; unfortunately for him, he wasn't the only one. Genderswitch, Het, Roy/Ed, Greed!Ling/Ed.

It's pouring and Ed needs a ride home. The roads are flooded... Okay I'm done making excuses for it... It's pretty much a plotless lemony... thingish. It's only going to be two or three chapters long I think. EdxRoy rated for language and... the obvious

Ed and Al come back from a mission to find Mustang’s minions in need of a judge for a kissing contest. The prize: Roy Mustang personal slave for one week. Here’s what happens when Ed wins by accident, or rather Al's goading and Breda upping the stakes.

Yaoi, EdxRoy. Lemons, Limes. When Roy invites Ed out for a drink afer work, Ed willingly agrees, hoping to start something between them. But, after Ed confesses his feelings, Roy lures him into a dangerous agreement, forcing Ed to play master and servent

After a one night stand with Roy, Edward finds out some news that Roy does not believe. This causes his heart to break and he leaves Roy in his shadow for four years, but upon returning, he comes with a surprise. RoyEd post mpreg

.AU. For some, the past is more important than for others. Envy, Ed and Al Elric know this better than most- but the past isn’t what it seems, and not everything is black and white. When a figure from long ago returns, the only option left is to run...

Al is gone and Ed has lost his will to live. When the state suspects foul play in Al's death, Ed is placed in Roy Mustang's care. Will Ed choose to live for the people he loves or will he succumb to this trial of his sins.

AU: Central High, notorious public school where illegal activity is A OK, and Edward Elric is the newest student. And then there's Envy, local klepto with a little big crush. This looks like trouble. :EnvyEd

In Germany, Ed and Al are barely getting by as a result of what happened after World War I. Al is helping Gracia at her shop, so Ed goes job hunting himself. What surprises lie in that innocent store down the road? [RoyxEd] [Post Movie] [Written by Arina]

A random assortment of Holiday fanfictions. I don't have every major holiday and I also have copies of holidays. Pairings differ. Inside currently includes EdRoy, Edvy EnvyWrath JeanEd and stories with No Pairings

One-Shots. Rating at the beginning of each chapter. Birthday Memories: Elysia stays with Roy for a few hours, but after Roy tells the name of his cat Elysia finally learns why everyone calls Edward so great,

Ed gets taken, tortured and changed. He goes to Roy, asking for help from the older male, his superior. Does Ed get the help he needed, and left behind. Or does he get something more. Fluff/Angst Rating:M Lemon COMPLETE RoyEd EdRoy Chimera!Ed