Synopsis
by Josh Ralske

A local brewery announces a contest. The first six people to find a silver scroll in their bottle of Pawtucket Patriot beer will get a tour of the secluded brewery with Pawtucket Pat (voice of Michael McKean) and a chance to win a lifetime supply of beer. The contest has everyone in town chugging like crazy, trying to find those scrolls. Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) chastises Peter (voice of Seth MacFarlane) for his excessive drinking. "Everyone has their sanctuary," he explains to her. "The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery." Peter eventually finds a scroll, and takes Brian (MacFarlane) along on the tour. They're treated to a couple of wonderful Willy Wonka-inspired numbers ("Take a drink/ and you'll sink/ to a state of pure inebriation") before being thrown out by the "Chumba-Wumbas" for sneaking a drink of Permasuds, the beer that never goes flat. Meanwhile, Lois is obsessed with winning the upcoming piano competition against the snooty Alexis (voice of Julia Sweeney), whose students always beat Lois'. When she discovers that Peter plays the piano wonderfully when he's drunk ("You're like the idiot from Shine!"), she keeps him drinking right up until the competition, where his rendition of The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme wins the day. This episode also features the voice of Adam Carolla as Death, a role originally voiced on the show by Norm MacDonald.