Thursday, 9 April 2015

This is totally not how I had imagined the confrontation
with my previous landlord. I got into the bus determined to talk about what
honesty is, how I was not even sure of moving out into another place the
evening I moved out, how what they were doing was all injustice and if they see
benefit in my distress.. well then, let the LORD be the judge!!

The bus travel to that small corner of the city didn't take
too long. Hanging by the plastic holders and swaying at the motion of the bus caused
by the frequent switching between the breaks and the accelerator, I somehow reached
the junction. How long from the junction did it take me to reach that house, I don’t
know. All along I was thinking what I had to say and was repeating it over and
over to myself. I finally did reach. Sweat droplets tracing a path down from my
forehead to my cheek. I was exhausted.

The sweltering heat of Mumbai can be quite harsh. Nevertheless,
I wiped it all off and let myself in the house. Making my way to the door and
still playing the short speech in my head. I don't know how many times I would
have repeated it over and over, just to be sure I was talking straight and
right. Just to be doubly sure that I was talking something they would listen to
and realise and return the money they owed me. Just to be so sure that what I would
say would make a deep impact.

One knock on the door, the landlady walks to the door and
opens it and now I'm inside that same house where I used to live. I somehow
imagined it would be different. I couldn't describe or name my emotions then. I
tried hard not to let myself go blank or worst of all forget what I was
planning to say to them, sternly and clearly. I started with why I had to
change and how it was not my mistake at all. I continued to talk on the
difficulties and how all of the problems that I was going through at their
place was affecting my health and finally ending the speech by saying that they
should return the entire fixed deposit amount. She tried to interrupt me
several times during my talk. But I didn't let her. I had to finish what I had
to say!!!!

The visit wouldn’t have lasted more than 15 minutes in all.
At the end of the talk she just handed me half of what I had paid her in the
beginning. This is not justified!!! I came down to the ‘power speech’ that I had
decided I would say.

I don’t suppose that made much difference to her. The next
minute I saw myself walking out the door with the half she gave me and the door
slammed shut at my face. I mean… seriously!!!!! “If you expect to gain so much
at the cost of somebody’s health and well being…. then carry on!!!”

If this is
not open daylight robbery, then what is this????

I walked the entire distance back. It must have
been over 2 km. but I didn't realise my feet ache or how I reached. My thoughts
all caught up in how everybody except my family is ready to pounce on you the moment
you seem vulnerable. How most people are just so greedy for money that they would
rob off a student? How much it mattered to me that it was my parents hard
earned money that I was robbed off. How there do arise situation that are solved without touching the rule book.

How they don’t even care for who you are and how nothing
about you matters to them…..!

Yesterday I just had a bed to sleep in and was worried about nothing else. Today I have a everything but cannot sleep.

Moving out of your own home and living under the mercy of
somebody else( as a paying guest or in a hostel…. not in your in-laws place)
can be so not rewarding. The longing to be home is silently crushed by all the
inadequacies one finds time to time in the new place. One might cry in silence
or scream out in the streets but deep down you know the stay has to continue,
until you finally do move but……

So, I’m in Mumbai pursuing my Research project in Cancer and I
was put up as a paid guest for the last 3 months. The disadvantages can be quite
a lot but I would love to highlight a few. Say for example, the food being
provided and the late and weird hours of the meals so much so that you might as
well eat out, the screaming landlord and landlady not to mention the constant
fights between them that cause them to ONLY talk loudly ( I imagine that they
are now so habitual to talking so loudly that they do not understand the word
whisper anymore), lack of water to bathe and wash and so on and so forth. I am
telling you, the list is endless save for the only advantage I am aware, the
bed I get to sleep in after a hard day’s work. When I read what I am explaining
to you, I think I have made an impression of me living in a rat hole!!!!! WOW!!!

The experience is not what has been mentioned before. It
begins now.

I was literally getting sick. My health was giving up on me despite
my best efforts to keep it together. I was not in the lookout for another
accommodation because neither did I have the strength to do the same but also
because I knew I would be gone from this place soon enough. I was literally
counting the days. Prior to joining the rental as a paying guest, I had to pay
a hefty sum as fixed deposit. Now just yesterday I got to know that there was a
vacancy in the guest house at the department where I work. I applied
immediately only to find that my landlord would pay me only half of the deposit
paid if I leave without a months’ notice.
I shifted last night into a more comfortable guest house with friends
around and good food as well, but I lost a major part of the deposit which was
paid earlier. It wouldn't have mattered as much if it were a meagre sum. The reason (I keep reminding myself) is primarily my health, which was constantly deteriorating.

So am I justified to
move into a better place and yet suffer such loss? Should I swallow the loss
that is being enforced upon me? And most of all, did I do something wrong in
changing into a better accommodation? These questions boggle my mind since last
night.

Now the situation has turned, I have a better bed, good food
but now I cannot sleep………….