Being on TV is weird: Thoughts on being a 'New Voices' judge

Monday

Jul 7, 2014 at 3:01 PMJul 7, 2014 at 3:10 PM

Oddly enough, having watched rather a lot of television in no way makes you an expert on making it. This is a lesson I learned the hard way as one of the judges on WCCA TV 13's “New Voices Awards” youth singing competition, where 25 teenagers sang their hearts for a chance at prizes such as a free recording studio session from Star Fleet Audio in Whitinsville, gift certificates to Union Music in Worcester and a makeover from LJ's Hair Hop in Worcester, among other prizes.

Those kids were all extraordinarily talented, but TV? Being on TV is weird.

I've long half-joked that I want to be a judge on “American Idol,” up to and including a mock campaign where various musicians and artists created YouTube videos endorsing me for the job, the most hilarious coming from Gaetana Brown of Little War Twins.

All good fun, but when WCCA executive director Mauro DePasquale offered me a judging spot on “New Voices” — the first episode of which is available online, with the second set to go online soon — I leapt at it. It sounded like a lot of fun, and besides … TV! Who doesn't want to be on TV?

Be careful what you wish for. Because not only was the experience amazing and, on the whole, one of the more rewarding things I've ever done, it's fundamentally changed how I watch television.

Body Issues: Watching myself on television was one of the strangest things I've ever done, and to tell the truth, I found it uncomfortable. For one thing, when I look at myself on the screen, I can't help but think I look … fidgety, like I didn't know what to do with my hands. Moreover, the me I see on TV looks fat. Now, I've got a few extra pounds on me, but still. Nothing will get you back on a workout routine faster than seeing yourself on camera. And this was after watching two half-hour episodes where I only appear sitting down. I can totally see how doing this all the time messes with actors' heads. For the record, my wife tells me I'm imagining both my fidgetiness and balloonlike qualities, but let's face it, she's biased.

Loss for Words: Do you know why judges on reality TV competitions come up with catch phrases, like Randy Jackson on “American Idol” always asking if contestants are “in it to win it” or Mary Murphy on “So You Think You Can Dance” always saying contestants are “on the hot tamale train”? It's because coming up with things to say on the spot like that is HARD! Now, I'm a guy who makes a good chunk of his living through the act of describing music for a reader, and I know a thing or two on the subject, although I don't play music myself. But trying to come up with things to say that are intelligent, witty, constructive or even just kind of interesting off the top of your head, 25 times in a row? That's taxing. Thankfully, we weren't live, and they could take just the best parts for the show. I'm fairly certain I said more than one stupid thing just for the sake of saying something.

Trapped! At one point, after Shrewsbury singer Renee Morin's audition, judge Cliff Goodwin jumps to his feet to give her a standing ovation. But he doesn't get very far, because we were all wired up, and the microphone chords weren't long enough for us to do much more than sit there. So when you see Bruno Tonioli jumping excitedly from his chair on “Dancing With the Stars,” remember that even that little bit of freedom costs a few bucks to allow.

An Embarrassment of Riches: In the end, five teenagers made it to the second round: Morin, Trinity Montes De Oca of Worcester, Ronnie Suriel of Worcester, Lois Dwiva of Worcester and Autumn Matthew of Springfield. And while they each earned their spot in the finale, there was a large number of contestants who could have just as easily joined them. I remember one girl — I think she was from West Boylston — who sang a lovely and delicate rendition of a Taylor Swift song. That audition has stuck with me since April, and she didn't make it to the second round. So when you see people get voted off on the audition episodes of “American Idol” or such, just remember that many of the people turned away are just as talented as the ones that make it. Someone just had a better day.

Snap Judgment: When I review an album for my music column, I listen to it at least three or four times, usually more. I take time to consider and ponder the music, to really think about what makes it tick. Even when I review a concert, I take copious notes and spend time thinking about what stood out for me during the show. These are not luxuries you have when you're judging a show like this, and I wonder if I would have judged differently if I had. I don't know if I would have — and indeed, the person who I thought was best in the auditions eventually won — but it's hard not to ponder. If there's a second “season” of this show, I'd be delighted for a chance to reconsider almost all of the singers we heard. Hearing them sing again would be a privilege, and one well-worth all the weirdness that comes with being on TV. (Victor D. Infante)