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I need a suggestion to change my son's behavior

He will not give up on what he wants. He screems and cries. Tonight was my husband's turn to read books before bed (we alternate nights with his sister). He wanted mom. We told him his option was to have dad read or read by himself. He insisited that mom. When we told him to stay in his room, he came out. My husband stayed in the room to keep him in there and he started destoying the room.

The thing about kids is they do have preferences and they like to be able to control their world, at least to some extent. Because they are little, they don't have much control over what they do and when, or who with, and they can resent that lack of control and try to assert themselves. To me, I think it's really important to give them as much control as you reasonably can. If the rule about "Daddy's turn to read" is actaully kind of arbitrary, then maybe you should be flexible: okay, I'll read tonight, but tomorrow it's definitely Daddy's turn, okay? It's a good thing that kids have that desire to assert themselves and a lot of parents make the mistake of trying to quash that in their kids and instead make their children obedient little drones, but that's not what's best for the kids. They need to be growing into independant adults, so pick your battles and give him control when it's reasonable to do so.

You have to let him know he is not the boss, you are the adult, and what you say goes. Period. If you let him throw a fit and get what he wants now, how are you going to tell him no when he's 13? When he throws a fit, have dad walk out of the room. If he tries to leave his room, do not talk to him except to say "You need to stay in your room." Do not engage him. If he trashes his room, make him clean it up later and anything he doesn't clean up, take away. But for right now, just leave him in there to go to sleep. I did this with my 3yr old when he was throwing fits about wanting his grandma to come over (drive across town) and read him stories. 2 nights of no story and he stopped, now story time is easy. Sometimes they just need to find the boundary, its your job to show them. :)