Just not in love anymore

I don't know if it's that I don't love my DH anymore or what. But I can't stand him. He got out of the Army due to honorable discharge in August. Since then I just don't want to be around him anymore. I feel like he's a class A failure. He still doesn't have a job. And we just found out I'm pregnant. Plus our 8 month old and his 4 year old from a previous relationship.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to divorce, because I don't believe in it for one. And I don't want the kids to have to mommy and daddy live in different houses. No to mention he's yelled at me a few time lately calling me a bitch, and telling me I'm lazy. Mind you I have 3 jobs, while he stays home and plays black ops.

And there has been an old friend come back into the picture. He was a really good friend in highschool. And now he's in the Navy. I was suppose to being joining the navy till we found out I'm pregnant and had to put my plans off. So we start out talking about that. And lately I just feel more and more attracted to him. I would never cheat. Just like I don't believe in divorce I don't believe in cheating.

I am so conflicted with everything. I feel like whatever I do it's the wrong choice. He depends on me so much, I couldn't just walk away. But if I don't do something he's never going to grow up and be a man

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Just not in love anymore
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I don't know if it's that I don't love my DH anymore or what. But I can't stand him. He got out of the Army due to honorable discharge in August. Since then I just don't want to be around him anymore. I feel like he's a class A failure. He still doesn't have a job. And we just found out I'm pregnant. Plus our 8 month old and his 4 year old from a previous relationship.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to divorce, because I don't believe in it for one. And I don't want the kids to have to mommy and daddy live in different houses. No to mention he's yelled at me a few time lately calling me a bitch, and telling me I'm lazy. Mind you I have 3 jobs, while he stays home and plays black ops.
And there has been an old friend come back into the picture. He was a really good friend in highschool. And now he's in the Navy. I was suppose to being joining the navy till we found out I'm pregnant and had to put my plans off. So we start out talking about that. And lately I just feel more and more attracted to him. I would never cheat. Just like I don't believe in divorce I don't believe in cheating.
I am so conflicted with everything. I feel like whatever I do it's the wrong choice. He depends on me so much, I couldn't just walk away. But if I don't do something he's never going to grow up and be a man
12 minutes ago
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Seriously, only you can change things. Have a serious talk with him and tell him to get a job and help support his family. Working like a mule to support a MAN is a deal breaker for me. I don't know why it isn't for you unless he's incapacitated in some way.

I say if it weren't for me he'd be useless cause he doesn't know how to take care of himself. He's never had to. I wish things weren't like this. I wish our marriage wasn't falling apart. And having feelings for someone else is making it so much harder. I don't like it. I feel like the worst wife in the world.

First off you're not the worst wife in the world. Lorena Bobbit was (after the chop).

Don't go from one relationship to the next because the grass looks greener. More often that not, it isn't. If dude was in the military, then he knows damn well how to care for himself, but why should he when you are. You might want to explore the fact that you may be enabling him to lay up. Throw down some ultimatums if you have too. But if you move outside of your marriage and have an affair, you're only gaining temporary happiness. And remember that you can't undo the affair once it's been done.

You are on a slippery slope right now. Stop talking to your friend. You are investing in that friendship and not in your relationship. This is exactly how affairs start. That apathy you feel which doesn't actually mean you don't love your spouse it is a way to justify you talking to some guy you are attracted to. The more you talk to this guy the more negative you will see your DH.

You need to talk to your DH. You need to look internally to find out what your core issues are and why you have become apathetic and are letting another guy into your life. What are you missing in you that you are seeking elsewhere. What are looking for in your relationship.

You are just making your situation worse and adding a third party in your relationship. Love is an action and a choice. You are actively making choices in not loving you DH. You are making choices in actions that aren't loving to your DH.

--

Some men are like lottery tickets. You got to rub alot of losers before you get a winner. --lovemyfamily1979

And if you truly have fallen out of love, maybe it's best for you to separate. If you feel it may be salvageable maybe Counseling will help for the problems but counseling won't get him off his ass. You have to want more for yourself than providing a grown man with the opportunity to live off of you.

I agree you should talk, but the last thing you want to tell him is that you don't love him and you're in to someone else. That would be impossible to come back from. Tell him what you need from him to improve your marriage, and what you are willing to give as well.

I will say, cause I must have not quiet made it clear. I was unhappy long before my friend came back into the picture. I've tried give him ultimatums. He doesn't take it serious and things change for a cay or two and then right back to his old ways.

And just because he was in the Army for 2.5 years doesn't mean anything. He was a shitbag. He shammed all the time, and would go out and spend his entire paycheck on boose and strippers. He even got caught with underage drinking because a girl (FALSELY) accuse him of rape. But I can verify it was not a legitmate claim and she got in a ton of trouble for accuse him.

I guess my unhappiness began with seeing waht kind of solider he was. And how he so easily just let it go. My grandfather died in Vietnam so I don't take anything military lightly.