Friday, August 29, 2008

sunday scribblings - somewhere

Today I'm not here, I'm somewhere else.

It's somewhere that doesn't really exist but it's very real at the moment.

I woke up after sleeping for about three hours and couldn't get back to sleep. It was very hot and slightly thundery weather outside and my bed was a mess of twists and turns. I started thinking about my story as I do when I'm bored and also when I'm not bored.

After a while I eventually got up and wrote 3 chapters in a row, solely out of the thinking process I had done in the previous moments. I listened to a couple of CDs I hadn't touched for a long time and they inspired me. Inspired me to that amazing point of hearing a song that fits perfectly into the scene you're writing. It's annoyingly good when that happens (annoying because this is not the kind of information you can easily give to the reader - unless you include the song in the story, which doesn't always work - so you have to keep it to yourself - I find it very frustrating when I can't share a joy with someone).

I had lunch but my mind was somewhere else. People talked around me and I listened and replied but I wasn't here. I wrote some more, about that other place, the imaginary one, the one that is flexible and fluid, the one where time stops when you're not thinking about it and resumes when you do. Saturn and Neptune must be having a fight about this right now.

I have a mountain of creativity to climb. I really want to finish what I'm writing but it's still such a long way to go and I can't rely on my persistence. Sometimes I stop and wonder why the hell I waste my time writing. I really do. I mean, unless you get money from your stories, what benefit does it bring me to spend hours thinking and writing about people that don't exist? And then I think about this other place and I ask what other activity could give me the ability to be somewhere else when I want to, when it's really convenient not to be here. Drugs? Meditation? No, I don't want a list. Sleepy or tired or grumpy, this has worked for me all my life, for better or worse. I think I want to be a writer after all.

DM: Lovers love, writers write: ain't no explanations. I've walked away a few times in the past with the same question of "I mean, unless you get money from your stories, what benefit does it bring me to spend hours thinking and writing about people that don't exist?" Problem is, you're gonna think about them anyway, whether you write about them or not, and money for most of us is never the issue. That money thing is lottery, fate, wrinkle-free wash, what have you. Writers write. I'm afraid, for you, tis a fait accompli. And we are your beneficiaries. Rave on.

Devil, your writing is very engaging. But also very "clean" if that makes sense. Clean, as in lucid. And I appreciate that very much. There is something to be said about clear communication, through conversation or imagination.I'm glad you are getting a lot of work done! Writing can be alienating sometimes, but it is definitely worth it, for you and for us your readers.

Shadow: Thank you! I think most bloggers have that in common, that makes us lucky. :)

Linda: oh thanks!

Keith: As I was saying to Shadow, that must be something we all have in common.

Murat: Thanks! You're right and I would quote the Beatles about the money. Perhaps I should have substituted that with "sense of accomplishment" that writers often don't have because mostly they work alone. And yes, my imagination would never stop and it would probably drive me insane. Writing as survival then ;)

Chrispito: I really appreciate your input. Perhaps my Mercury in Capricorn shows, I like to keep it simple. And you're probably going through some of these stages with your book ;) Yes, alienating is the word, but I guess I was born this way. lol

Oh how I would love to have a conversation with you! I can totally understand what you are writing,as maybe all writers can. Keep writing, money or no money. (thanks for stopping by and commenting on my story). Cheers!

Mgirl: Oh we still can one day :) It'd be awesome to chat with you, even in blogland! thanks

Tanya Gwen: Thank you. Yes, we should be persistent, right? I'm glad writing is good for you too.

AnthonyN: Thanks! It's true, no boundaries.

Linda May: It's a cool mind to have, a visual one. Does that mean your memory is visual too?

FB: haha yes, that's why I have a few drawers full of scribbled notebooks, you probably have them filled with paintings and drawings! But the important thing is, like you say, get it out of our system. You mean this picture? Sunset, really strange red clouds, reminded me of a rash. I actually find it a bit repulsive hahah

It is a truth..some times you HAVE to go to that 'Somewhere Else'..it's a place of big skies and infinite possibities,it has you staring into the distance as something warm generates within..I know that place too..drink deeply whilst you are there..write/sketch your ideas no matter how ludicrous,banal sublime or profane..pick flowers, smell the air and gather the warmth within your soul like charging a battery before you have to return...

yes that somewhere is a great place to be. much to my surprise i've been going there without writing by reading and doing lots of yoga. i love reading about people's writing process. it must be great to wake up in the middle of the night and pour out three chapters.