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Archive | January 2016

Hello. Again, I haven’t made a post…well, for too long. But I’m more on fire for trusting Jesus w/ all of my being by far more than I ever have.

About a month ago I started to experience this reality being, just that, a reality! It’s truly amazing, when Jesus – through the guidance given to those who trust in Him as Lord & Savior over their lives & beings (via the Holy Spirit – this truly begins to change our heart from the state which it originates from. Hopefully I can provide something that the Spirit of God can use to hopefully bend & break & persuade your heart in your own personal conflict w/ this destructive perception of who you are, who God the Father is…& Jesus & the Spirit. This isn’t to imply that I’m “just that good” that the Spirit would use me…merely, that I pray that these words can be utilized by the Spirit to bring about truth that others who struggle in this may receive hope, truth & understanding…especially since there’s such a limited amount of material on the internet about this problem – meaning about truth working through the heart problems.

Anyway, what I’m on to talk about is one of the current ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS that men who struggle to accept their true biological gender will without much doubt will be a potential stumbling block. This stumbling block won’t be one directly of the heart, per sa’, but it will like influence it like being from the heart. What I’m making a reference to is the reality that any man that makes the important decision to say no to crossdressing will at one time at least, after saying no to it, likely struggle w/ trying to find more decorative selections in clothing after being stable enough to consider more than wearing clothing that men tend to typically wear.

Now, before I get ahead of myself, I wish to make it clear that what I’m mentioning I believe could be taken the wrong way for those struggling in this like I do myself. Because this can VERY EASILY make room for doubt in our minds, which Satan will w/o doubt use to confuse us. In addition, I’m not in ANYWAY trying to suggest men should go in this direction! Though, I don’t wish to delude anyone; I think it’s safe to say that not all men were meant to simply accept the typical clothing that men wear usually. THOUGH, I believe (and this I apply to myself right now at this very moment – and will likely have to for some time to come) that not all men were meant to be “masculine” in the typical American physical perspective of what a man “should” dress and/or look like. This isn’t to say that men should live separating themselves from other men by what they wear…or even simply wearing other types of clothing styles. Again, right now I cannot step out of the “typical” in terms of clothing style that men have available to them these days.

Ok, I think I’ve cleared that part up, but if anyone has any thoughts, opinions..or if there’s some detail(s) that I implied by I didn’t give, then please let me know that I may fill in those blanks. (If you are to comment, please leave it to constructive criticism where we are able to help strengthen & encourage one another. I’m definitely open to opinions other than mine, but again, please only reply if your heart’s motive is to truly reason together for the others’ benefit. This isn’t about “throwing the truth” in the others’ face. This is about having life-giving discussions that we can learn from.

As I’ve been laying my wants ( & ultimately my entire being & all of my possessions – & the possessions in my heart that I want that are of my flesh ) the Lord has been revealing that the many days & nights for 5 years plus that I’ve griped trying to give up my wants to dress, act & believe that I am or should be a woman, I’ve tried for too long to offer a “counter-proposal”, that God should give me men’s clothing that I want that I BELIEVE I could be satisfied w/ when giving wants up & accepting that I’ll accept God’s will for me that I’m a man & that I live as man. All of this time that I’ve wanted to see men’s clothing change in our culture, I’ve been in an almost ceaseless state of grudging, envying, judging, coveting, the clothing that women still have because the clothing that I presently think would be a very gorgeous reflection of men’s hearts that live for Jesus & have a more gentle, soft & more artistic personality. Currently, it’s VERY, VERY difficult to find clothing w/ a softer, gentler touch, style, designs, colors, etc. that women’s clothing has been blessed w/ to see implemented. Though….at the very least, men’s hearts ABSOLUTELY NEED to lay these things, these hopes, these dreams bare before Jesus! I think these things need to become dead to us, that in the hopes that they not have the same sting of death for us! But this isn’t the main reason to lay them down…they’re to be laid down that Jesus may RAISE our heart again from it harboring the deadly destructive idol(s) wrapped up in this struggle that come to devour us! It’s truly the BEST THING you can do! For you, for every one you love, for all the other people that God will bless your life with ( especially if this disease is given in its entirety to Jesus so he can really begin the real & serious changes that will happen in your heart!) & lastly & ultimately for Jesus!!

Now, there is a possibility that it’s not God’s desire for you to look into finding men’s clothing that reflects the Spirit that he’s REALLY given you – not the compromise of “THINKING” that you’ll settle for being a man, living & accepting that God’s made you a man, & thinking, “I’ll be content w/ all of this if you simply allow me to have men’s clothing the way I want it”. It should be a reality that “softer & gentle” men’s styles simply may not be what God wants for you or me.

Lastly, I’ll be perfectly honest, it’s possible that God’s will may be that he doesn’t ever desire for me to ever try to find & wear clothing that’s softer & gentler for men. Though, at the moment, I believe that is something that God’s been revealing to me. I do believe that men would greatly benefit from having more variety!

In fact, I know some really good, Christian men & women personally who’ve told me that they think that men have it lousy when it comes to clothing selections. & I’ve asked them do they think that it would be good for men to have more variety…even to the point of incorporating some styles & designs that women’s clothing presently possesses. And they’ve said yes! They do agree! So, we’re NOT ALONE! We’re not alone! Again, clothing should & isn’t everything!! The heart needs to rely on Jesus; the heart must be able to seriously “take it or leave it” – or truly, when Jesus says, yes – then, & only then are we ready to venture in that direction.