You Smile I Smile

Sonshine: My Journey After the Loss of My Son

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My Christmas Miracle...

Signs…do you believe in them? I’ve said many times that I don’t think there are any coincidences, and I do believe in signs. Let me tell you a story. It starts with sadness and discouragement. It ends with a sign and what I believe was a little miracle courtesy of Andy.

Three days ago I raced to the cemetery after work to get a few minutes with Andy before they locked up the gates for the night. I sat with him for a while and just felt so lost and alone. Hopeless, really. I guess the holidays brought it on. I sat there and thought "Hell, why do I even come here? He's not here anyway and who am I kidding thinking he can still see and hear me?" I was even doubting the existence of God. I mean, I was having a real pity party. I got in my car and sobbed.

The radio station has been playing all Christmas music, and I swear if I hear Mele Kalikimaka one more time, I'll scream. So as I'm sitting in the car wiping my nose, what comes on but Mele Kalikimaka ugh! And I thought, who sings that awful song anyway? My radio shows what song is playing and who the artist is. So I looked at the display, and up pops "Andy" and I thought it must be Andy Williams, though it didn't sound like him. And it just stayed there...Andy...for a good 10 - 15 seconds. And THEN it said Bing Crosby. Over and over it said Mele Kalikimaka Bing Crosby. And of course, Bing Crosby was singing the song. There was absolutely no reason for Andy to show up on the display.

Was it Andy telling me he was indeed around and could see and hear me? I believe it was, and just when I needed it so much. It would also be like him to show up with that song to tease me. My whole outlook changed. I felt...HAPPY! Thank you Andy! I love you more than life ♥ And yes, I believe in signs and I believe in miracles. After all, it’s that time of year, is it not?

Wishing everyone a beautiful Christmas. May it be filled with love, friends, family and joy.

It is my hope that this blog can help others who are on this same journey. Maybe we can walk this road together. All is not hopeless, there is hope ahead. So, if you'd like to join me on this journey, welcome. Let's see how this all unfolds.