Sunday, March 6, 2016

... The Rain Has Stopped...Rest Well 'Pop' ...

Richard E. Leib, 1935-2016.

It feels like it's been raining for so long... I've been away from my art and my normal life for many, months. I've been a bit quiet about it all. I have shared some with my very close friends but for the most part, I've been holding things inside. It's time to talk about it since the rain has stopped for now...

Last week, this past Tuesday, my father in law, Richard E. Leib, passed away after a 2 month struggle.
On January 2nd, a snowy and icy morning, he went for his usual morning walk at Walker Park, near his home. He, very unfortunately, slipped and fell on the ice and broke his neck. He had 2 major surgeries to repair the injury but everything that could possibly go wrong, did... He became paralyzed as a result of the injury, developed pneumonia, inability to breath, had to be on a ventilator, endured a tracheotomy, gastric tube feedings....it was very, very bad....
Richard passed away under the wonderful care of the nurses and staff at the Center For Hospice House last Tuesday at 5:00pm.he was in the company of his wife of 58 years, Lois and his son, my husband, Mark. It was uneventful and peaceful. I can not say enough good things about this place....

Our relationship together was often tenuous. We are both opinionated, stubborn, strong, creative people. As a result, we didn't see eye to eye often....however in the last two years, we mutually worked on that. It was good. He was proud of my art and I was proud of his photography. We found our common ground.
In the last 2 months, I showed him the tender side of me that he has not experienced because I guard that side of me and I allow very few see it.
When they moved him into ICU a few days after his first surgery, he had trouble speaking but he insisted that if he passed away that night, he wanted us to have a talk. He was having great difficulty breathing and he was very upset and crying. I took a hold of his hand, and I smoothed his forehead and his hair with my other hand. I gently and very softly told him that he didn't have to say anything, that I understand what he wants to tell me. I told him "I love you Pop, everything is just fine between us, there is nothing more we need to say, we are OK..." That calmed him down and he shed a few tears. I told him to try and not speak, to just try to relax. That was the last night he was able to speak for a while because after that he was on a ventilator and had a tracheotomy placed after that.
When he was in the hospital, I decided to brush his hair. He was a vain man and appearances were very important to him. I know it was a small thing to do but it was a huge gesture to him so I brushed his hair every time I visited, which was often and sometimes by myself. I remember the first time telling him it makes me feel better that he looks good and he smiled and told me it makes him feel better too....so I brushed his hair every time...
When he was moved to Hospice House, I went over after work and we were having a 'blizzard'. I told him it was snowing outside and how pretty it was. I asked if he would like to see and touch the snow and he gestured he would. So I went and got a styrofoam cup from the common kitchen area, went outside and got a cupful of snow. I brought the snow to him. I touched his hand to it, rubbed it on his face and he opened his mouth so I let him taste it and rubbed it on his lips. The emotion he had was something I will never forget...it was one of those moments. Even now it makes me tear up.

Rick was a very strong man who did not want to die. He was adamant that everything that could be done, be done. And we did everything...but in the end, acceptance of reality hit him and our family hard. Sometimes, you have to accept that things just change and we have no control. He was ready 'to go home' so we accepted his wish. Even in death he was stubborn...but it was comfortable and peaceful for him. I am ever grateful for that.
Pop, I want you to know that we will take care of Mom and you will be greatly missed...our Saturday morning coffee hour will continue and your son will sit in your chair. We love so much...and tomorrow at your funeral, that feeling will be very palpable...
Rest well Pop...the rain has finally stopped....

...Creating a Photo Miracle...

All the credit goes to photo editing software(and a bit to my skills too)!
So the obituary photo that my sister in law submitted was just not good quality. She took a cellphone photo of a wallet sized photo and the exposure was terrible, the image was bad quality. I just wasn't going to allow anyone else to try and edit that photo. I knew that he would appreciate the fact that I do this for him. I volunteered to edit the wallet sized image so here is what I did.
First, I cropped and scanned the image with my scanner, setting the resolution at 400 DPI. I wanted to get the best possible quality I could from this tiny photo. Using GIMP (because I am cheap and refuse to give Adobe my money) I selected the clone tool and a round, soft edged brush and basically just took my mother in law completely out. After I got most of her out of the image, I went to work rebuilding details in his clothes and the edges of his hair. I really love the clone tool for this because you can clone similar areas. I set the opacity at 100% for this stage. This will give you a 'rough' mock up that will be ready to fine tune.
For the fine tuning. I blow up the image in size to 400% so I can see things. I increase the pixel size of the image to smooth and soften things a bit. Then I sharpen things up until the details are a bit clearer but not too 'harsh'. To get the back ground lighter and mottled, I use another brush, it looks like candy sprinkles that you put on cookies. GIMP literally calls it the 'sprinkle brush'. I then set the opacity at about 60% and again, using the clone stamp tool, I start mottling the background. I go back and forth choosing lighter and darker colors until I get the background how I want it. After that, I go to work on the edges around him and I clean things up. I soften things, using the same tools. Lastly I use a smudge tool with the same round, soft edge brush setting and I soften things and blend things a bit. For some details in the clothing, I use the round, soft edge paintbrush and I repaint details that I know 'would be there' if it weren't for Mom's arms draped around him. Now mind you this is only going to be an obituary sized photo for the paper, I knew the quality probably didn't matter that much but it was important to me. After all that was completed, I emailed it back to the funeral director so he could get it to the paper in time.
Mom Leib told me yesterday that he was so impressed with the magic I worked on that photo, he couldn't get over it. I think I might have a new part time job editing photos. ;)

I think Pop would have been so pleased and proud that I made him look good again for his final public send off. It was very important to me so I did my best with what little I had to work with....

...When It Rains...

WIP(work in progress), 'When It Rains'

Which now brings me to a little bit of happy news...after nearly 3 months of not painting, I have found the time to start painting again. I can't tell you how GOOD it felt to paint on Friday!!!
I even got a studio visit by my brother!
It was such a good day, I went to the grocery and picked up some sushi and enjoyed a late lunch of sushi(a rare treat for me) and had a beer! :)
So now I am back working on the painting that's patiently been waiting for me to return.

Let me tell you the story behind this one....
I started this painting because of stress and as a way of coping with it. Just when you think you have enough to deal with, something else happens (both my Mom and Mother in law are battling cancer)...so what do you do when it rains and someone pours some salt in the wounds? You hunker down with an umbrella and you cope the best you can and hope the rain stops soon.
I chose these objects specifically to tell this story.
I am getting close to finishing it. Now I am fine tuning and tightening the details. I'll probably have this done in a month I think. Since I am working again, my time is a bit more limited in the studio so I am not as fast as I once was because of that but it'll get there. :)

...Finding Balance...

'Finding Balance'. Oil on wood panel.

'Finding Balance' got her final varnish coat yesterday! Now I wait while she fully dries. The colors and subtle tones that sink in, just come ALIVE when the varnish is applied! I've been patiently anticipating this moment because you have to wait for oils to completely dry before you can do this, otherwise you end up with a mess if you don't. What kind of mess you ask? I'll direct you to Google or look this fact up and learn about it. ;)
I explained the story behind this painting with my last blog post so I'll spare you that explanation again. Now, can you find the yin yang symbol 'hidden' in this painting? I'll admit, it's not hiding very well but it is in a clever spot! :)

On that note, I am going to bring this to a close. Its so good to be BACK!!! :)
Have a great rest of your weekend....

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About Me

...I am a simple painter whose passion is painting realism...
By trade, I worked as a nurse to support my need to create art.
I have now officially joined the ranks of 'starving painter's' in that painting is my only job now....
If you would like to follow my journey with paint....follow my blog! :)