Welcome to Good Burger, Home of the Good Burger, all power to the underclasses!

Seize The Means Of Burger Production

Burger Money, Burger Problems

I’ve long held the belief that there should be collectable trading cards for the most inspirational criminals involved in outrageous heists and vindictive anti-state mischief. I’m imagining you’d buy a pack of these cards at a comic book store (do those still exist?) and right between Yu-Gi-Yo! and Magic the Gathering would be a box of boosters ironically named “Box of Boosters: Expansion Pack”. Inside would be 15 random cards, 10 commons, four uncommons, and one rare.

In an absolutely outrageous turn of events, Wayback Burgers, a competing chain, has offered this guy a year of free burgers if he turns himself in. I hope this man is never caught. If you have any information about this crime, keep it to yourself. Celebrate Folk Heros.

Tyler Reinhard is a social technology critic, developer, designer of the acclaimed privacy app Signal, and the co-founder and designer of Mask Magazine.