There are many points of etiquette when using the tube
Flouting them is sometimes daft *and* rude
For example, here’s a true cautionary tale
of several types of escalator etiquette fail
“Dogs must be carried” the escalator sign notes
Alright for puppies and cretinous bag-dogs in totes
But I saw a small man valiantly trying
to comply, crazy fool – it left me crying (with laughter) Him flailing backwards as the escalator soared
His dog – six feet of it – struggled and pawed
from above, as he tried, showing the strain
To carry the dog – a ginormous Great Dane.
In an odd slow-motion, desperate dog-man tango
they jittered and jived as the little old lady below
Eyed the dog and its weight and the risk of her flattening
As the man realised too late what was (inevitably) happening
As the dog leant, the man’s knees crumbled, and terribly he
and the huge dog toppled back, gracelessly
A blurry few seconds, flying bag, flash of fur
And everyone gawped to see what injuries the three would incur
But none too bad, it seemed – amid the whoosh, yelp and wallop
Could be heard clearly the old lady, hollering “you trollop”!