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The Rise and Fall of the Rude Owls

CARS VS. CYCLISTS! FIGHT!

This morning i drove by myself for the first time in over a year. Now i feel all aggressive and mad! I remember why i used to scream all the time and drive recklessly: when i want to get angry, there's not a satisfying outlet. A few twitches and i could ruin someone's life pretty bad, but on my bike, i really have to put effort into getting angry. A quick sprint will get it all out.
Now while you're fuming over what this stupid ass cyclist thinks he knows about driving, what do you hate about cyclists? Cyclists, what do you hate about motorists?

I hate other cyclists as much or more than i hate motorists. There are the people who ride their bikes once a month that don't think they have to pay attention, take left turns without looking, blow stop signs, take up the whole path while going slow as biscuits, and then there are the jerks with spandex suits who pass without warning, wear stupid ass sun glasses, run down pedestrians, ride in traffic even when the path is there so they don't have to, and are completely rude above everything. These people wear helmets, which is great and all, but they also ride at night without lights. What the fuck is wrong with you? I can't see you until i'm close enough to punch you in the face, people in cars and buses can't see you until they stop to see what that loud bang was.

The motorists i hate fall into two categories as well: angry people and people who aren't paying attention, usually because they have a phone glued to their ear. Angry people are angry because they can't wear themselves out, so they should probably just get more exercise and empathy. Do you drive less than 10 miles and dread that drive because of 8 and 5 o'clock traffic? If you have legs and it isn't raining, ride your bike! It's slower, but you never have to stop for more than it takes for a light to change.
Not paying attention is self-explanatory. Driving time is not jam your phone to your face time. Your cracker ass call can wait til your 15 minute break at work. If you hit me because you're on your phone, i will beat your fucking face before the police have to drag my broken bleeding ass away.

So what pisses you off about fucking cagers/bike fags? Roads are wide here, and there are paths everywhere, so except on the very rare trip on super busy roads, i don't even have to worry about riding in traffic. Even so, i pull some pretty stupid shit when i'm riding downtown. It's fun to weave through slow traffic! Do you just hate that?

I hate people who ride on the sidewalks too! Families with little kids are okay, i wouldn't want them riding in the road, but most of the people i see doing it are old enough to know better! I do it occasionally, like going down the wrong way on a 1-way, or just to avoid busy streets without gutters, so i'm just a little bit hypocriticalistic.

I wish the roads in South Florida weren't dangerous to cycle down, because I'd love to be a cyclist. I know some do it down here, but I think they're a little crazy.
I've never had an issue with cyclists here. They usually stick to their frightening looking bike lane and don't disturb traffic, the rare times that I've seen them.
Personally, if I can walk somewhere I'll try to do so if I am not going to have an ass load of groceries to drag back with me. Sucks that since so much of South Florida is so spaced out that really doesn't happen as often as I'd like.