Thomas Lennon: Shocked? We were, but Kim Marlowe has proof to back up
her claim.

Megan Mullally: When I was in junior college I used to fuck a lot...

A montage of pictures featuring a young Kim Marlowe are shown.

Megan Mullally: ...and I said a lot of things. I guess it started one
day when this guy I was doing was helping his friend move and they got
this big couch jammed in the doorway. And, so, the guy I'm fucking says,
'You're gonna need a miracle to fit that thing in there.' And then
because his friend's a total asshole, he says, 'That's what Kim said.'

Thomas Lennon: And when had you said that before?

Megan Mullally: I said it the night before, when he was trying to fuck
me in the ass.

The shot cuts to Thomas Lennon standing outside.

Thomas Lennon: Kim says that other lovers starting quoting her private
words and they soon became popular catch-phrases at Long Beach City
College.

The shot cuts back to Thomas Lennon and Megan Mullally sitting on the
couch.

Megan Mullally: You know, I said a lot of shit during sex.

Thomas Lennon: Sure.

Megan Mullally: But, then, people just started taking everything I said
out of context.

Thomas Lennon: Sure.

Megan Mullally: You know, like, if I said, 'I'm stuffed,' it wasn't
always during sex. Sometimes, I said it after I ate a lot. Or, like the
time I said, 'Oh, I hope you like a nice full bush.' I was talking about
project for my horticulture class.

Thomas Lennon: Kim, I have here a few quotes that have been attributed
to you.

Megan Mullally: Oh God, it never ends.

Thomas Lennon: In what context did you mean, 'That's the biggest one of
those I've ever seen'?

Megan Mullally: Oh, I was talking about a Christmas tree. We were at a
Christmas tree farm and I had never seen such a beautiful, big,
Christmasy tree.

Thomas Lennon: You had never seen one. 'That's going to be sore
tomorrow'?

Megan Mullally: I was talking about my pussy.

Thomas Lennon: Okay. 'Put the doggie in the bathtub'?

Megan Mullally: That's a sex thing and a dog washing thing. That's just a
practical thing.

Thomas Lennon: Literally, let's wash the dog in the bathtub?

Megan Mullally: Yeah. Yeah. In terms of sex, put the doggie in the
bathtub is when you try to fit somebody's ball in your asshole and they
just, you know, just keep popping out.

The shot cuts to Thomas Lennon and Megan Mullally walking outside.

Thomas Lennon (voiceover): But Kim started to enjoy the attention she
was getting. She was recognized on campus and around town. People would
stop her and ask her for quotes. Eventually, she started performing at
parties.

A montage of pictures of her performing at parties is shown.

Megan Mullally (sounds like a tape playing back): Well, I'm sorry Bill,
but I can't even find it. You can put that anywhere. I'm the one that
should be crying. It's like a waterfall down there.

The shot cuts to Megan Mullally and Thomas Lennon sitting outside on a
step.

Megan Mullally: Everyone was repeating my words. I thought, 'Hell, why
not make some money from it.'

The shot cuts to a clip from Wayne's World. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey
are sitting on a couch. Dana Carvey is holding up a giant picture.

Dana Carvey: Hey, are you through yet? Because I'm getting tired of
holding this.

Mike Myers: Yeah, that's what she said.

The shot cuts back to Thomas Lennon and Megan Mullally sitting on the
couch.

Thomas Lennon: What was your life like then?

Megan Mullally: I used to drink back then and I started hitting it
pretty hard. It was a bad time.

Megan Mullally pours out the remainder of her energy drink and is
irritated when it comes up empty.

Megan Mullally: God damn it.

Megan Mullally crushes the energy drink can.

Megan Mullally: That's how I fucked up this hand.

Megan Mullally holds up her other hand and it is in a brace. She throws
the crushed can. The shot cuts to Megan Mullally standing on a balcony.

Thomas Lennon: She tried to put her phrases on the internet to maintain
some proof of ownership and maybe eke out a modest income. But, she
says, site like Napster and Pirate Bay gave her the same problems as
many musicians.

The shot cuts back to Thomas Lennon and Megan Mullally sitting on the
couch.

Thomas Lennon: Kim are there projects in your future? Opportunities on
the horizon?

Megan Mullally: No. Last year, some people approached me about doing a
tour. Reading some of my best phrases live.

Thomas Lennon: Right.

Megan Mullally: But, I turned them down flat.

Thomas Lennon: And why?

Megan Mullally: I'm sick of this. I just want to get on with my life.
It's too hard and it's painful.

Thomas Lennon (smirks): 'It's too hard and it's painful.”

Megan Mullally: Are you fucking kidding me?

Thomas Lennon: No, can I quote you on that?

Megan Mullally: Are you fucking kidding me?

Thomas Lennon: It's too hard. It's too hard and it's painful.

Megan Mullally: Okay. You know what? I'm out of here. I'm out of here.
Alright.

Thomas Lennon: That's what she said.

The shot cuts to the still images of celebrities briefly flashing on the
screen followed by this text – ENTERTAINIA NOW! The shot cuts to black.