SPOILER ALERT: Don't read if you'd like to spend the next few months
of your life surprised by the twists and turns of Juan Pablo's terrible "romantic"
journey.

Monday's two-hour premiere of ABC's The Bachelor was watched
by 8.5 million people, many of whom will crowd around TV sets for the next few
months worried about sexy Juan Pablo Galavis' heart. These fanatics—you know
who they are—will hope he picks the "right" girl and they'll have no problem hogging
the remote while expressing their feelings on Facebook, desperately wanting this show to be the one exception to the "nothing's real in reality television"
rule. Hopefully these fans already think Nikki is the right girl, because according to one mysterious blogger who has been spoiling seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette for years, she's the one Juan Pablo ultimately chooses.

This may or may not come as good news to those already invested in fantasy
leagues for the show, a popular activity in some workplaces and sorority houses. These leagues involve a sport just as vicious as any football game: analyzing the romantic intentions and chemistry of strangers on TV in the hopes that your player will score. "That Texas girl gave it up too fast in the hot tub," a
gambler will inevitably decide as she updates her rankings for the next week, "I
don't think she's really the future mother of his children, you know?" "Then
again, I don't know," the gambler might reconsider. "They seemed to really have
a moment in that forced slow dance to a Darius Rucker song on top of that
abandoned building."

This isn't to say there's anything wrong with viewers investing some
hard-earned downtime in insipid reality romance, complete with curated
helicopter rides. We all have Monday night guilty pleasures (Bakery Boss, anyone?). But if you're in
a position to gain respect or win money in a Bachelor fantasy league, keep reading. Or if you're in a situation
where you desperately wish your roommates would stop speculating about The Bachelor and you're kind of mean, you can also keep reading.

To be honest, I haven't watched TheBachelor since the first season debuted in 2002. I felt so embarrassed
for everyone on screen and when Alex picked Amanda but didn't propose to her, I
felt cheated. But none of this mattered when I won $82 in a Bachelor pool last season without
watching a single episode thanks to Steve Carbone, also known as Reality
Steve. Invited to join a league and given no rules on outside help, I searched
for "Bachelor odds" two hours before my first picks were due, thinking I'd
find some kind of website with speculation. It's what I do for fantasy
football, so it seemed no different.

Instead I found Carbone's website
where, with the help of his tipsters, he spoils entire seasons of TheBachelor and The Bachelorette. His website, realitysteve.com,
is the bane of the show's existence. Carbone even claims ABC has a vendetta
against him, sabotaging
him in "various" ways, including "engineering" his disappearance from an E!
network Bachelor special. He's also
been sued several times by the show's producers; they first
sued Carbone in 2011, alleging that he induced contestants to breach their
confidentiality agreements by offering to pay them. That lawsuit was settled
several months later, when, according to Warner Bros., Carbone agreed
to have "no further contact whatsoever with cast, crew, or employees" of the
show. He was sued again in 2013 for tortious interference as well as breach of
settlement but Carbone told The
Hollywood Reporterthat the suit is "bogus" and that while their legal
agreement does prevent him from paying insiders, it does "NOT prevent [him]
from publishing spoilers."

Clearly, these lawsuits have not stopped Carbone from posting spoilers
and pissing off ABC. On his website, he's already posted episode-by-episode
recaps and spoilers for this season's 11 episodes. Who are the final four women who
get hometown visits in season 18? In order of elimination, Renee, Andi (who
eliminates herself), Clare and Nikki. Though Nikki is the last one standing,
Juan Pablo does not propose. Poor Nikki! Unless she's awful, in which case,
good job, Juan Pablo.

I don't know who any of these women are and I don't care, but ABC
cares an awful lot. With heavy promotion for the show and three-year premiere
high in ratings, the struggling
network will keep hoping you ignore Reality Steve. Whether you choose to or
not depends on how you want to spend your Monday evenings.