In a 1954 clip from the classic game show The Name's the Same, Salvador Dali makes the first known thoughtful statement about how much ironic facial hair sucks. When asked (at the 4:06 mark) if his infamous mustache is a joke, Dali explains, in a most Esquire-approved manner, "It's the most serious part of my personality. It's a very simple Hungarian moustache. Mr. Marcel Proust used the same kind of pomade for this moustache." Which just goes to show that the phantom of ironic facial hair has been pestering the truly cool for more than 50 years, and that, no matter how unique, the essence of style is owning what you wear with the utmost confidence.