Stand-off between father, leftover turkey enters 7th day

The situation in the Tully household remained tense today after the remnants of a 22lb bird occupied the spare fridge in the garage on Christmas Day and ousted Mr Tully’s stock of festive lager.

Despite several days of intense negotiation and return visits to the fridge, the bird remains in situ and only marginally smaller. Yesterday Mr Tully attempted to gain a foothold in the region by balancing some bottles in the door of the fridge, but he suffered several casualties.

The turkey has now blocked off the fridge light so that any attempt to see how much is left by sneaking the door open is certain to be foiled. Latest reports indicate that some parts of the turkey now occupy the salad crisper.

Mr Tully has now armed himself with two carving knives and is drinking lager in the kitchen while considering his next move.