10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is ... Read more

At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers wi... Read more

Don't let your worries get the best of you; Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited Until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, But only as advisers.
... Read more

When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 Employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitte... Read more

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pa... Read more

A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder ... Read more

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm... Read more

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. age 10
What is the right age to get married? Twenty-three is the best ag... Read more

You may wonder why I always blog funny stuff. Well, there are a lot of positive results from laughter, so my mission is to foster those results in people's lives. (e.g. I wear bright clothes on gray days!) Here's some stuff about laughing tha... Read more

Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.
A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital beca... Read more