3year old and pregnant again

Okayy. I have a 3 year old baby girl (: but lately she has been like a 16 year old teenage pain.
we recently found out I'm pregnant 9 weeks 4 days.
since we found out she has been defiant and mouthy. my mom suggest its because she feels left out.. so we have taken her to both my ultra sounds. let her do the heart doppler on my belly . asked her if she wants a brother or sister.. let her have say in themes. we got pictures of 3 themes we might like and let her make the ultimate decision for the babies room and stuff. we aren't finding out the gender until birth so we were able to look at gender neutral stuff now.. I feel like I do everything I can to involve her but she's still a little crazy. she's fine while we are doing the baby stuff but as soon as I close the computer or put away the pictures she turns into a crazy kid. maybe she still feels left out? maybe she thinks I'm replacing her.. should I let her pick a new theme for her room also so she knows she's staying? my mom thinks I'm crazy because she watched an episode of rugrats when the parents bring the baby home and tommy felt alone.. so I think she thinks that's how its going to be.. any tips on how to get her to understand I'm not trading her in?
and don't tell me she needs to be disciplined... I do discipline when she has fits but after she tells me she was bad because I don't love her anymore.. so it really is that she feels traded..

Okayy. I have a 3 year old baby girl (: but lately she has been like a 16 year old teenage pain.
we recently found out I'm pregnant 9 weeks 4 days.
since we found out she has been defiant and mouthy. my mom suggest its because she feels left out.. so we have taken her to both my ultra sounds. let her do the heart doppler on my belly . asked her if she wants a brother or sister.. let her have say in themes. we got pictures of 3 themes we might like and let her make the ultimate decision for the babies room and stuff. we aren't finding out the gender until birth so we were able to look at gender neutral stuff now.. I feel like I do everything I can to involve her but she's still a little crazy. she's fine while we are doing the baby stuff but as soon as I close the computer or put away the pictures she turns into a crazy kid. maybe she still feels left out? maybe she thinks I'm replacing her.. should I let her pick a new theme for her room also so she knows she's staying? my mom thinks I'm crazy because she watched an episode of rugrats when the parents bring the baby home and tommy felt alone.. so I think she thinks that's how its going to be.. any tips on how to get her to understand I'm not trading her in?
and don't tell me she needs to be disciplined... I do discipline when she has fits but after she tells me she was bad because I don't love her anymore.. so it really is that she feels traded..

I'm a ftm so honestly not an expert. I tend to try to stay away from buying things to get good behavior. Maybe everything is too baby centered all of a sudden. She's 3 so could you try getting her into a "big girl" activity like gymnastics, dance, soccer. Something that will help burn energy and put the focus on her and not the coming baby. Just a thought ...

I'm a ftm so honestly not an expert. I tend to try to stay away from buying things to get good behavior. Maybe everything is too baby centered all of a sudden. She's 3 so could you try getting her into a "big girl" activity like gymnastics, dance, soccer. Something that will help burn energy and put the focus on her and not the coming baby. Just a thought ...

she was in preschool and dance. I had to take her out of preschool because we are military and stationed somewhere else.. and when we go to dance she just sits there and does nothing.. doesnt want people to look at her shell just sit in the back.. I felt bad so we stopped going.. the only thing she is still doing is fingerpainting. so I let her paintings dry and hang them on the wall.. she says she wants a sister so I know she knows what's going on and she wants to feed every baby she sees. she's been a little momma since she got her first baby. but maybe I just got soft on discipline because I thought she would have a bad reaction.. or maybe she knows I don't feel good and don't want to hear her cry so ill give in to her attitude..
the pediatrician says give her time.. eventually she will be able to feel baby move and know more what's going on. she will be almost 4 when the baby is born so she will be a little more understanding in 6 months then she is now. I guess I'm just impatient I want every one to be excited and happy but I'm the only one excited about this lol

she was in preschool and dance. I had to take her out of preschool because we are military and stationed somewhere else.. and when we go to dance she just sits there and does nothing.. doesnt want people to look at her shell just sit in the back.. I felt bad so we stopped going.. the only thing she is still doing is fingerpainting. so I let her paintings dry and hang them on the wall.. she says she wants a sister so I know she knows what's going on and she wants to feed every baby she sees. she's been a little momma since she got her first baby. but maybe I just got soft on discipline because I thought she would have a bad reaction.. or maybe she knows I don't feel good and don't want to hear her cry so ill give in to her attitude..
the pediatrician says give her time.. eventually she will be able to feel baby move and know more what's going on. she will be almost 4 when the baby is born so she will be a little more understanding in 6 months then she is now. I guess I'm just impatient I want every one to be excited and happy but I'm the only one excited about this lol

I am in the exact same position, I have a 3 yr old girl and I'm 13 weeks pregnant, it feels like I'm raisin a teen with the back talk and smart mouth, tantrums, and just not listening as well as she used to. I started bringing her around other friends of mines babies and letting her see what she has to look forward to and she has become extremely excited about it!! Though I have been told the attitude is just a girl thing that will get better but never completely go away.

I am in the exact same position, I have a 3 yr old girl and I'm 13 weeks pregnant, it feels like I'm raisin a teen with the back talk and smart mouth, tantrums, and just not listening as well as she used to. I started bringing her around other friends of mines babies and letting her see what she has to look forward to and she has become extremely excited about it!! Though I have been told the attitude is just a girl thing that will get better but never completely go away.

i hope it gets better soon. i had to set a new discipline routine recently because she thinks she runs this house and it getting old.. so everytime she throws a fit she goes to her room until shes done. unplug the tv in there.. smart mouth earns a timeout chair session.. hopefully if im very persistant with this deal she will be okay by the time we go home for christmas in December.. We are Military so we havent seen our family in a year and i dont want her to go there thinking she runs my MILs house too. just have to be STRICT

i hope it gets better soon. i had to set a new discipline routine recently because she thinks she runs this house and it getting old.. so everytime she throws a fit she goes to her room until shes done. unplug the tv in there.. smart mouth earns a timeout chair session.. hopefully if im very persistant with this deal she will be okay by the time we go home for christmas in December.. We are Military so we havent seen our family in a year and i dont want her to go there thinking she runs my MILs house too. just have to be STRICT

I don't have any advice since I'm dealing with the same thing! Except I'm 35 weeks pregnant an my daughter is almost 16 months old! She has been a pain in the butt! I think a lot of it has to do with hormones changing! I used to be so patient with her but here lately it seems like she is always in time out! I actually feel bad because a lot of the times I feel like its my fault she throws tantrums and stuff!

I don't have any advice since I'm dealing with the same thing! Except I'm 35 weeks pregnant an my daughter is almost 16 months old! She has been a pain in the butt! I think a lot of it has to do with hormones changing! I used to be so patient with her but here lately it seems like she is always in time out! I actually feel bad because a lot of the times I feel like its my fault she throws tantrums and stuff!

Also a ftm, so no experience here, but I saw something on one of those welcome to parenthood videos that may help. The parents bought the older child a baby doll to practice with before the sibling was born. They were using the doll to help the older child learn to handle the baby gently and ways to help care for her, but I think it could also help LO better understand her role once the baby arrives (i.e. teacher and playmate, not being replaced!). Plus, it is another way to make LO feel more involved in the baby excitement, foster her nurturing side, and remove some of the uncertainty about what the future will be like. GL!

Also a ftm, so no experience here, but I saw something on one of those welcome to parenthood videos that may help. The parents bought the older child a baby doll to practice with before the sibling was born. They were using the doll to help the older child learn to handle the baby gently and ways to help care for her, but I think it could also help LO better understand her role once the baby arrives (i.e. teacher and playmate, not being replaced!). Plus, it is another way to make LO feel more involved in the baby excitement, foster her nurturing side, and remove some of the uncertainty about what the future will be like. GL!

My boys are about three years apart, my oldest was involved but from the beginning we told him he's a big brother and we let him pick a few things for the baby, but I transitioned him to being more of a big kid, new bed, his own toy box and I made sure not to make everything about the "new baby" he never had input on themes or anything else he would be allowed to buy a stuff animal or clothes, but that's it. I think if you give a toddler to much say in the baby's things it could backfire, being involved is fine taking her to appts with you is great letting her rub you tummy is good too when baby gets active. I hope things get better.

My boys are about three years apart, my oldest was involved but from the beginning we told him he's a big brother and we let him pick a few things for the baby, but I transitioned him to being more of a big kid, new bed, his own toy box and I made sure not to make everything about the "new baby" he never had input on themes or anything else he would be allowed to buy a stuff animal or clothes, but that's it. I think if you give a toddler to much say in the baby's things it could backfire, being involved is fine taking her to appts with you is great letting her rub you tummy is good too when baby gets active. I hope things get better.

She does know what's going on.. She has watched my sister be pregnant 2 times and then bring a baby home.. So when I told her I'm having a baby she said "like aunty did" so she is very aware.. People underestimate a 3 year olds comprehension. She's smarter then it would seem a 3 year old would be

She does know what's going on.. She has watched my sister be pregnant 2 times and then bring a baby home.. So when I told her I'm having a baby she said "like aunty did" so she is very aware.. People underestimate a 3 year olds comprehension. She's smarter then it would seem a 3 year old would be

I am having the same problem with my 3 year old, i'm currently 5 months pregnant and he has totally reverted back to "i'm a baby too" stages. I just let him feel the baby kick, listen to its heartbeat and he gets to pick out some stuff to buy it. I often talk with him about what he wants to do once it gets here such as "give the baby a bath, feed the baby, and change the babys diapers" I feel like if he's involved in almost every aspect of this pregnancy focusing on making him feel like a big kid it helps alot. He has become less dependant on me and more "i'll do it myself". Good luck!!

I am having the same problem with my 3 year old, i'm currently 5 months pregnant and he has totally reverted back to "i'm a baby too" stages. I just let him feel the baby kick, listen to its heartbeat and he gets to pick out some stuff to buy it. I often talk with him about what he wants to do once it gets here such as "give the baby a bath, feed the baby, and change the babys diapers" I feel like if he's involved in almost every aspect of this pregnancy focusing on making him feel like a big kid it helps alot. He has become less dependant on me and more "i'll do it myself". Good luck!!

My little guy is nearly 3 and I'm 16 weeks along. He is a generally upbeat kid and not prone to tantrums but he scowls at me often and has become more sassy and bossy since I became pregnant. I was pretty patient before pregnancy but my fuse has gotten considerably shorter and I have less energy to give him undivided attention. I know this is the issue in my household. He actually uses the same phrases to sass me and boss other kids that I use to scold him. Haha - it's like an awful little mirror on how ridiculous I sound when the hormones get the best of me. Maybe check whether your attitude and patience have changed as well? Also, I agree with pp who mentioned more attention on her and less on baby. Even if you include her, it sounds like your family life has already begun to center around baby. How far along are you spending all this time picking out decor themes and looking at pictures? I don't feel like I've had time for all that because my son takes up my energy. And with number two I just don't feel the impulse either. With my first pregnancy I had nothing but time to think about becoming a mom and to prepare for it. But now I'm a mom and as excited as I am for our new little one, our family dynamic hasn't shifted much yet. My son is absolutely excited but I try to primarily talk about baby when he brings it up. And he does often on his own. This way he doesn't feel like it's always on my mind like he could if I was always bringing it up and pushing it on him. I don't mean to assume you're being that pushy...just some examples of antecedents to her behavior that you could watch for since it sounds like your concerned. Also, I totally agree that although a three year old doesn't process the idea of the pregnancy the same way an adult does, they are capable of further understanding than they are often given credit for!

My little guy is nearly 3 and I'm 16 weeks along. He is a generally upbeat kid and not prone to tantrums but he scowls at me often and has become more sassy and bossy since I became pregnant. I was pretty patient before pregnancy but my fuse has gotten considerably shorter and I have less energy to give him undivided attention. I know this is the issue in my household. He actually uses the same phrases to sass me and boss other kids that I use to scold him. Haha - it's like an awful little mirror on how ridiculous I sound when the hormones get the best of me. Maybe check whether your attitude and patience have changed as well? Also, I agree with pp who mentioned more attention on her and less on baby. Even if you include her, it sounds like your family life has already begun to center around baby. How far along are you spending all this time picking out decor themes and looking at pictures? I don't feel like I've had time for all that because my son takes up my energy. And with number two I just don't feel the impulse either. With my first pregnancy I had nothing but time to think about becoming a mom and to prepare for it. But now I'm a mom and as excited as I am for our new little one, our family dynamic hasn't shifted much yet. My son is absolutely excited but I try to primarily talk about baby when he brings it up. And he does often on his own. This way he doesn't feel like it's always on my mind like he could if I was always bringing it up and pushing it on him. I don't mean to assume you're being that pushy...just some examples of antecedents to her behavior that you could watch for since it sounds like your concerned. Also, I totally agree that although a three year old doesn't process the idea of the pregnancy the same way an adult does, they are capable of further understanding than they are often given credit for!

Letting her redecorate her room in 'big girl' style might be fun for her. But I'd be careful about rewarding her bad behavior. If she is being a terror the handle it as you would have before finding out (time outs etc), as perhaps she senses that you are hesitant to 'punish' or 'handle' the behavior as you think it's caused by this and you feel guilty? Make it special for her at the right times, but as a reward for good behavior done.My son is 22 myths and dd is 6 weeks. Only minor issues with jealousy so far. Older can be more complicated

Letting her redecorate her room in 'big girl' style might be fun for her. But I'd be careful about rewarding her bad behavior. If she is being a terror the handle it as you would have before finding out (time outs etc), as perhaps she senses that you are hesitant to 'punish' or 'handle' the behavior as you think it's caused by this and you feel guilty? Make it special for her at the right times, but as a reward for good behavior done.My son is 22 myths and dd is 6 weeks. Only minor issues with jealousy so far. Older can be more complicated

Can't help out either I'm about to be 15 weeks with a 16 month old. Only issue I have is a little cranky this month because she got 4 of her back teeth. I would not have thought she would have 12 teeth by now. I'm just thinking since she older and she can understand better it would be easier having a second. I could be wrong I'm worried myself how things are going to be with a newborn and a toddler ?

Can't help out either I'm about to be 15 weeks with a 16 month old. Only issue I have is a little cranky this month because she got 4 of her back teeth. I would not have thought she would have 12 teeth by now. I'm just thinking since she older and she can understand better it would be easier having a second. I could be wrong I'm worried myself how things are going to be with a newborn and a toddler ?

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