My husband and I have always resisted the trappings of romance. Flowers on Valentine’s Day, we reason, are twice the expense, bottom of the barrel, and oh-so-unoriginal. Ditto on getting chumped for a prix-fixe dinner that’s as overpriced as it is underwhelming. And I’ve never understood what a box of chocolate really has to do with courtship. We never celebrate our anniversary on the actual day (my husband has a standing work trip that week, so perhaps I’ve subconsciously adapted to this reality). And we agree that there’s something about the perfunctory nature of a certain set of gestures on a designated day that’s the very antithesis of romance—looking across a restaurant and seeing the same bud vase filled with the same carnation atop 20 tables can trivialize the singularity of one’s love.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that we don’t enjoy candlelight or date night or chocolate or champagne individually. It’s the prescription of their symbolism that always makes me feel, no matter how nice the bouquet or box from La Maison du Chocolat, that I’m a door knock away from roses and baby’s breath, a Mylar balloon, and a Hallmark card with a picture of some anthropomorphized bulldog. Which is to say, not special at all.

There are plenty of hotels on Santorini with giddying views—the most desirable places to stay teeter on the rim of a 300-meter cliff that plunges into the flooded volcanic caldera. But none have the spare, ethereal bone structure of Perivolas. Rooms are sculpted from brushed concrete, pressed into arched doorways and barreled ceilings with the builders’ bare hands. Bright hits of pink and purple—a sprig of bougainvillea, a heap of floor cushions—bring the cool white interiors and black volcanic walls into sharper focus. This fierce purity defines every detail at Perivolas, a family dream that materialized in the early 1980s and is still run with great passion and precision by the Psychas clan.

The line-up here is scant but special: a hushed restaurant beside a pool almost indistinguishable from the blue horizon, where the chef cures, smokes, and ferments local ingredients into artful yet unfussy dishes; and a small, soulful spa streaming with natural light. It takes confidence to leave so much out of a five-star hotel, but Perivolas defines luxury differently than most hotels on the island—or anywhere else for that matter. One of the things that draws devotees back season after season is the fact that time seems to stand still here. Sure, discreet additions might appear, such as the purpose-built gym, lap pool, and yoga studio last year. But while the rest of Santorini is engaged in an unseemly scrum for more tourist dollars, life at Perivolas remains blissfully unhurried, unflashy, and yes, unspoiled.

Courtesy Perivolas/Photo by Enrique Menossi

It isn’t often you get to have your petit déjeuner en plein airin Provence with so much art, overlooking a stunning vista of terraced vineyards...with a huge Fernand Léger mural on the wall behind you. It's even rarer to have a chance to loll about in a swimming pool surrounded by Giacometti-slim cypress trees with an elegantly balanced Alexander Calder mobile swaying gently in the breeze beside your chaise lounge.

But as soon as you enter the courtyard of La Colombe d’Or—an ancient honey-colored stone hotel with a jasmine- and bougainvillea-filled garden in Saint-Paul de Vence—you realize that you have actually entered a private art gallery. It goes without saying that the comfort level is in the stratosphere, the food sublime, and the local roses intoxicating, but it is the Bonnards, Chagalls, Braques, and Picassos that hang as casually as old travel posters on the walls that make this unlike any other hotel in the world.

Courtesy La Colombe d'Or

For a true taste of American history, we bet The Age of Innocence began and never ended at this opulent, informed seaside resort. Newport has long catered to the country’s upper-crust, and you likely would have bumped into a Vanderbilt at The Chanler at Cliff Walk in the late 1800s. Today, rooms are decorated in the styles of different historical periods, each more extravagant than the next. Our favorite is the Martha’s Vineyard villa, an ocean-view beauty with a mantled fireplace, two prim blue chairs, and a full-canopied four-poster king bed with an intricately carved wooden frame as the focal point. There's a reason—or ten—why this place has often been voted the most romantic hotel in America.

Courtesy The Chanler at Cliff Walk

Like a mirage in the desert, the 45-room Ion Adventure Hotel seems to materialize out of thin air. Built into the side of a mountain, half of the property stands on what look like elaborate stilts. Although it's less than an hour east of Reykjavík, ION's isolation makes it a popular first stop for international travelers doing bigger cross-country drives as well as for Reykjavíkers who want a peaceful, but action-filled weekend getaway—think fissure-diving and snorkeling at Silfra in Thingvellir National Park, where North American and Eurasian tectonic plates meet, or a glacier trek at Sólheimajökull. Plus, there's no need to swim with the masses at the Blue Lagoon, new resort aside: Tucked underneath the ION hotel is a thermal pool where guests can relax and warm up while hoping to spot the Northern Lights from the bar.

Courtesy Ion Luxury Adventure Hotel

Right on Xpu-ha beach, the best stretch of white sands on this part of Mexico's Caribbean coast, Esencia is one of those hotels that is spoken about in hushed tones by bohemians in the know, none of who want to let this secret get out. But those who do make it here discover a small, natural beauty of place set on a palm-swaying estate on the edge of the tumbling sea. There are hammocks to laze in, and a dimly lit spa where lotions and potions made from garden herbs are crushed into poultices to smooth out knots. For snorkeling among rainbow-colored fish, the Mesoamerican Barrier Reef is a five-minute hop on the hotel’s catamaran.

Hungry? There are ceviches and tiraditos to try at Mistura, a restaurant with views of the moon-dappled sea, and a wooden beach bar that does the best margaritas in Mexico. And then, of course, there are the rooms: the interiors of the house, originally built as a hideaway for an Italian duchess, have splashes of 1950s art and huge bedrooms with generous terraces; brand-new Jungle Rooms with plunge pools and beach suites are a study in white.

Courtesy Hotel Esencia

You can bet that just about every detail at this palatial Moroccan hotel, which took more than three years and 1,200 master craftsmen to build, aims to please. Each of the 53 individual three-story riads (villas) have a mini courtyard (with a canopy that automatically unfurls if rain is detected); a dazzling living room and bedroom with silk-covered walls; a private rooftop terrace with a fireplace and heated plunge pool, and 24/7 private butler service—because of course.

If you do decide to leave your room, (though, you very well may not) head to the spa, venture into a shopping trip like none other, and try one of the two superb restaurants, La Grande Table Marocaine and La Grande Table Française, both overseen by chef Yannick Alléno from Paris’s Le Meurice. If you're intent on hitting all three meals of the day, visit indoor-outdoor La Table, where white-gloved staff serves a formally presented breakfast and lunch.

Courtesy Royal Mansour

Set on the banks of the Sabi River, this luxurious resort on 10,000 acres comprises four lodges and a family camp. Ivory Lodge rooms, done in ebony and ivory, have African artifacts and views of the reserve and its occupants from private terraces with plunge pools, while the cream and beige rooms at River Lodge have freestanding tubs as well as indoor and outdoor showers. Two unique treehouses, Chalkley and Kingston, couldn't be more romantic—lit by lanterns, candles, the stars and the moon. After viewing elephants and lions on open jeep drives, enjoy traditional boma dining, then settle-in for the night, surrounded by the safely-distant sounds of hippos, hyenas, leopards, and lions.

Courtesy Lion Sands Game Reserve

This pioneering, chalet-style hotel was built from scratch in 1989 out of old timbers salvaged from Savoyard farmhouses. It was the brainchild of local couple Jocelyne and Jean-Louis Sibuet, who went on to create a mini-empire of small, interesting properties scattered across the Alps, Lyon, Provence, and St Bart’s. Along with all that gorgeous pine—sloping beamed ceilings, slated wood terraces, four-posters, and open fireplaces—comes comfort: a cozy mix of textures and muted shades from silvered cow-skin rugs and creamy flannels to soft wool plaids and deep leather sofas, plus the occasional baroque carved antique.

This is not the place for party animals: unlike Courchevel, the bling-free, laid-back attitude here draws a mix of young couples and an international crowd of ski enthusiasts who would rather sip local Génépi with friends than gyrate to a thrumming bass. After a stint on the powdery slopes, have lunch on the terrace of Le Restaurant Alpin and order the divine four-cheese fondue—worth every liver-blasting calorie. Dinner is an equally hearty affair: black-truffle pasta with local ham and Beaufort sauce, followed by blueberry pie. Those who aren’t die-hard ski bums can work it off in the heated indoor pool at the Pure Altitude Spa, where signature treatments are packed with Alpine berries, botanical extracts, and anti-aging mountain edelweiss.

Courtesy Les Fermes de Marie

Adare is a delicious mix of old and new. Barely 30 minutes from Shannon Airport, it's one of the closest country manors travelers can reach on seasonal, nonstop flights from the U.S. for an uber-green, romantic getaway in Ireland. (It's also an easy two hour drive from Dublin in winter.) While retaining an old-school, aristocratic vibe, Adare's fanciful gargoyles, genuinely warm staff, grand and intimate spaces, and super-comfortable rooms make it somewhere uniquely and unabashedly the Ireland of right now—with golf and falconry to boot. Also of note here: There are 365 leaded windows, 52 ornate chimneys, four towers, and seven stone pillars, symbolizing the days, weeks, and seasons in a year, and the number of days in a week. A good omen for long-lasting relationships, no?

Courtesy Adare Manor/Photo by Jack Hardy

This beloved Big Sur resort dramatically overlooking the Pacific and surrounded by acres of forest received a total reboot last year. And while it may look new—rooms have all been updated with plenty of wood and neutrals, 15 luxe safari-style tents have been added to the roster, and the spa got a relaxation deck that looks out at the ocean—it hasn't lost its laid-back 1970s vibe. If you want to totally disconnect, and plug in those connectivity-deprived gaps with hiking, forest bathing, spa treatments, and yoga, it's for sure worth it. There really is something for everyone here—except for maybe the type-A person who needs lots of scheduled activities. Big Sur truly is one of the most beautiful places on earth, and Ventana's mission is to spotlight and champion its setting.

Courtesy Alila Hotels and Resorts

Rajasthan isn’t exactly lacking in grand heritage hotels, but there are at least two reasons to visit this romantically-royal of all properties. First, a section of it is still home to the former Maharaja of Jodhpur and his family (one of the largest private residences in the world); and second, for the extraordinary scale of the imposing architecture and 26 acres of precisely manicured grounds.

High on Chittar Hill, overlooking the Blue City, this golden-colored sandstone pile has operated as a hotel since 1971, but it was the arrival of Taj Hotels in 2005 that elevated the service to match its royal setting. Art Deco interiors unfold over ornamental latticed stonework, artfully lit carved pillars, a sweeping marble staircase, exotic frescoes, and a neck-craning 105-foot-high cupola. And while there are some pretty spectacular rooms—such as the Maharani Suite, with its original bath carved from a single piece of pink Italian marble—choose a Royal Suite, where terrazzo flooring, original palace artwork, and lavish bathrooms lead to private balconies that frame views of the peacock-speckled gardens.

Courtesy Umaid Bhawan Palace

At first sight, Tetiaroa looks like a trick of the light, almost an aberration: A pale blue of such luminosity, the remote, entirely private French Polynesian atoll’s water can be seen from outer space—astronauts orbiting the earth have even asked what it was. To get there, you'll leave from Tahiti (30 miles away, but it might be 3,000) and descend in a private six-seater directly into the Technicolor incandescence: a four-and-a-half-mile lagoon surrounded by a subterranean wall of living coral reef and circled by 12 cute green islands. Just one is used for the hotel’s 35 villas, the others solely occupied by frigate birds and ancient pandanus trees and honey bees.

The one-, two-, and three-bedroom villas are decidedly more lustrous than the usual desert-island design in glass and ironwood, slate and silk. Each is set super-secretively in its own grounds, with a stretch of lonely white sand backed by dense trees. Your lazy eyes catch the occasional bright jags of oleander, jasmine, hibiscus, and golden trumpet. Some guests stay put; some congregate at Bob’s Bar by the lodge’s restaurants (there are three, including a tiny new Japanese spot) and talk about the actor Marlon Brando, who bought Tetiaroa in 1967, having sailed past while scouting locations for Mutiny on the Bounty (he even helped to develop the innovative 100 per cent renewable-energy seawater air-conditioning system here). Best are the late afternoons, with the lulling sound of the Pacific crashing against the distant reef, waiting for the dusk, when the sky turns through the softest pastels into a stupefying heliconia red.

Courtesy The Brando

For many travelers, this is peak Paris. Ideally located for exploring the Left Bank, this boutique four-star owned by celebrity chef Yves Camdeborde—whose much-lauded Le Comptoir sits on the ground floor, and where guests are able to skip perennial lines—has earned loyalists with its warm service, quirky charm, and high-quality in-house eats. Camdeborde serves gourmet bistro menus crafted with fresh local products, paired with vintages from his friends' wineries. A few doors down, the chef also oversees L'Avant Comptoir, a separate space for casual pre-dinner or late-night drinks, charcuterie boards, and other shared bites. Actual rooms are spread throughout the 17th-century building, each inspired by a writer with ties to Paris, from Balzac and Dumas to Marguerite de Navarre, but the homages are subtle—a portrait or vintage typewriter here, a bicycle in another. The decor varies between spaces, but all have wood-beamed ceilings, boldly-patterned wallpaper or curtains, tea-making facilities, and views of the Carrefour de l’Odéon.

Courtesy Hôtel Relais Saint Germain

Looking out at the wind-whipped North Atlantic from Fogo Island, you feel like you’re on the edge of the world: it's just you and yours, the icebergs, and utter silence. Not surprisingly, getting here takes effort—a flight to Gander (in far north Newfoundland and Labrador), followed by a drive and a ferry ride—but there are few places worthy of this trek. The hotel is a modern spin on the fishing-shacks-on-stilts that dot the island, and everything from the furniture to the quilts was created by members of the community. The 29 rooms all have floor-to-ceiling ocean views (and their own pair of binoculars). But the best thing about coming so far is how you’re made to feel at home: Guests are paired with “community hosts,” who can show you around when you're not cocooned in your cozy room in this off-the-grid gem.

Courtesy Fogo Island Inn

Eyebrow-arching views greet you as you arrive at COMO Shambhala Estate on the island of Bali, a jungle-hugged designer health retreat on staggered hilltops above the Ayung River. For two decades, COMO Shambhala has reigned as a five-star refuge for luxury travelers looking to say farewell to stress and hello to spiritual development. East meets West at each of the five residences, which house a total 30 suites, each with its own pool. (Stand-alone villas have private pools, and one-bedroom Retreat Villas have their own treatment rooms.) If it's wellness you want, there's a reason COMO Shambhala is one of our readers' favorite resorts in Asia: it's grander and more graceful than conventional spas; it's more transformative and soothing than corporate chain resorts; and it has every tropical panorama fit for Instagram.

Courtesy COMO Shambhala Estate

Wine tastings, sunsets, private hot tubs—who says you need to reinvent the wheel on your next romantic getaway, if the classics work this well? Sure, some wine country stays can feel a bit predictable, but this restored Victorian mansion stands out with turn-of-the-century architecture, sleek contemporary interiors, and a restaurant from celebrated chef Chris Cosentino that does wine-supporting dishes in a decidedly NorCal fashion (think fresh rigatoni with kale pesto). Spend your days between the farmhouse-style spa, the saltwater pool, and, of course, tasting as many of the valley's wines as you can. There's nothing quite as romantic, though, as sipping apéritifs on the communal porch, from where you can watch the sun set over the cabernet vines of Beringer Estate.

Courtesy Las Alcobas Napa Valley

This splendid, 37,000-acre property on a sprawling cattle ranch outside Missoula has only 28 luxury homes, but what choices! The most popular the Big Timber dwellings, handsome two-story pine cabins with either a wood-burning stove or stone fireplace, and outdoor hot tubs. Then there’s the ultra-secluded Blackfoot River Lodge, a light-filled retreat with stunning views from every window, and the allegedly haunted Morris Ranch House, built in 1908 and decorated accordingly. In summer, guests can also opt for one of 36 luxe tents pitched along the Blackfoot River. Outdoor excursions come with plenty of pampering (elegant picnic lunches on a rafting trip, massages after a bicycle tour). But this is coddling without pretension: Staff are gracious and chatty, the decor is all animal-skin rugs and cowboy portraits—including in the Tank bar and Trough and Pomp restaurants..

Courtesy The Resort at Paws Up

On a quiet Upper East Side side street of New York City, the Surrey is an ode to Art Deco in sleek shades of gray, black, and silver, reminiscent of a smaller, more intimate version of the nearby Carlyle. Here, you'll find lots of repeat, urban guests who, like the hotel, are low-key about their taste for luxury. Bedrooms are a delight, as are the white marble bathrooms, which have amazingly plush Mascioni bath towels and products from French label Côté Bastide. You can't check out without a meal or two at Cafe Boulud, superstar chef Daniel Boulud's restaurant at the hotel, but if you want a late-night snack, you can avoid even moving that far: The Surrey has one of the best minibars we've seen, with Mast Brothers chocolate, Ommegang Abbey Ale, and Hudson Bay Bourbon.

Courtesy The Surrey

The best resort in Hawaii, according to our readers, isn't beachfront. But that's actually a positive at Hawaii's only luxury adults-only resort, with 72 suites spread over 15 acres with 180-degree views of neighboring Lanai and Kaho‘olawe. Though there's a shuttle to the beach (and attendants to help you with umbrellas, towels, and the like once you hit the sand), be sure to put your vacation in the hands of the incredible staff. Allow them to organize a beach picnic—a gourmet spread to be enjoyed at sunset. You can also arrange kiteboarding lessons, sunset sailing, and aerial yoga. Fan of vintage cars? Take the drive of your dreams in Hotel Wailea's 1957 Porsche 356 Speedster reproduction.

Brian Leahy/Courtesy Hotel Wailea

The latest addition to St. Barts' luxury hotel scene, and in keeping with the island's low-rise sensibility, Le Barthélemy is a sophisticated winner of our latest Readers' Choice Awards survey for resorts in the Caribbean. Set between a lagoon and Grand Cul-de-Sac beach along the island's northeastern shore (with jaw-dropping views of offshore islets and distant St. Maarten/St. Martin), the hotel is an education in understated elegance. Rooms are spare, and enormous, with lots of wood and one or two pops of bright color—some even have small, rectangular plunge pools for mini-laps. The food at Aux Amis is unabashedly modern French, with attention paid to proper portions in the tropics: in other words, not too much. Water sports enthusiasts have an expanse of calm shallow waters for kayaking, kite-surfing, and snorkeling; a flotilla of a dozen sea turtles that survived the storms of 2017 remain in residence and are easily visible. Bonus points here, too, for the staff, who could not be more accommodating.

Courtesy Le Barthélemy/Photo by Pierre Carreau

The J.K. Place Capri is the Italian townhouse hotel, redefined. The attention to detail here is painstaking, from the discreetly attentive service to a stylish marine color scheme that might have appeared on a 1930s racing yacht (Tuscan designer Michele Bonan famously checks each hue under various lighting conditions before approving it). This nautical theme is appropriate for a hotel that rises like the upper decks of a liner above the Mediterranean, with views across to Sorrento, Naples, and Vesuvius.

Capri town is just ten minutes away on the hotel’s shuttle, but you’d be surprised at just how many guests never take up the offer. The satisfyingly large swimming pool is difficult to tear yourself away from, and as evening approaches, signature cocktails such as the JK Spritz (a gingery variation on the Venetian classic) have a way of appearing, accompanied by inventive nibbles that ease guests into dinner on the restaurant terrace. This Capri outpost has more of an unashamedly food focus than its sister hotels in Rome and Florence, and Neapolitan chef Eduardo Estatico’s menu is light, seasonal, and also playful—don’t miss his Cucciolone, a popsicle variant on the classic pastiera pie of Estatico’s home town. If the Italian dolce vita is all about living the good life with class, style, and confidence, J.K. Place Capri must be the cult’s high temple.

Courtesy J.K. Place Capri

If true love, like true romantic travel, is meant to feel unique, then the standardization and ubiquity of its expressions are, by the same logic, Cupid’s enemy. I’m not sure who first came up with the couple’s massage concept or decided that rose petals scattered on the floor and the bed would make your heart go pitter-patter. Listening to your partner groan on a massage table just a few feet away, whether in agony or pleasure, is just plain awkward. As for the rose petals, I’ve spent precious minutes (after complimenting the eager staff on the beautiful heart-shaped arrangement) picking individual petals off the bed, fearing they might stain the crisp white duvet. And just like that, visions of being swept onto said white bed can all but disappear.

When I think about the most romantic trip we’ve ever taken, it was one that I had no part in planning. My husband announced at my birthday dinner that we were leaving the next morning and that he had packed my suitcase. I didn’t even check his work. And while I would, in retrospect, have made a few substitutions (maybe just one casual dress without a plunging neckline), it was the relinquishing of control that was the most exciting part of the trip. Just the right amount of anticipation—enough to be giddy, but not disappointed—and a good dose of spontaneity.

We went to a seven-room open-air hotel overlooking the ocean in Zihuatanejo, Mexico, that gets understated upscale just right. We did nothing but read, nap, swim, and drink for three days and scarcely left the premises. We had plenty of candlelit dinners and watched every sunset with fresh margaritas in hand—only without the pomp and circumstance that comes whenever any staff member gets the tip that there is some special occasion to fuss over.

For this, our second annual romance issue, we weighed the many definitions, pitfalls, and demands of disappearing with your significant other and came up with the only rules you’ll need for your next getaway. Like love, it’s all about what works for you. Even if it’s a couple’s massage.