"CE" 2000-2009 Marriage

CECE m@ca.on.middlesex_county.london.london_free_press 2003-02-15 published
Happy 50th Anniversary, Angelo and Cosima
CECE
February 14, 1953-2003
Congratulations and Best Wishes to a special couple who truly
embody the loving Valentine spirit each and every day. With much
Love from your daughter Lucy, husband Robert, grandchildren Derik and Steve

CELEMENGER m@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2003-06-11 published
Same-sex married couples rejoice
Ruling recognizes union of couples married in 2001; others rush
to wed
By Estanislao
OZIEWICZWednesday,June 11, 2003 - Page A4
Toronto -- For Kevin
BOURASSA, 45, and Joe
VARNELL, 33, becoming
Canada's first same-sex married couple is bittersweet, even as
advocates call their union a world first.
"Gee, I wish my mom could have seen this," Mr.
VARNELL said.
"Because of what the court did in Ontario today no mother will
ever again not be able to dance at her son's wedding. That's
a wonderful thing."
With his "lawfully wedded husband" at his side, Mr.
VARNELL said
they planned to celebrate by going home, popping a bottle of
champagne and cuddling with their cat.
"If you forgive me, I never want to see any of you in my living
room again," he said.
The pioneering couple, who were wed on January 14, 2001, and
other same-sex couples seeking to be married in civil ceremonies
were speaking at a news conference after a historic Ontario Court
of Appeal ruling that they have a constitutional right to marriage.
"Canada gets the gold medal for same-sex marriage around the
world," said Trent
MORRIS, lawyer for the Metropolitan Community
Church of Toronto.
"I would like to congratulate them for being the first same-sex
couple married not only in Canada but, as Mr.
MORRIS indicated,
the first same-sex couple in the world," said Cynthia
PETERSON,
lawyer for Equality for Gays And Lesbians Everywhere, a national
advocacy organization for gays and lesbians.
The Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalize
marriage for gays and lesbians on April 1, 2001. This year, Belgium
became the second country to open marriage to same-sex couples.
Unlike its northern neighbour, Belgium did not allow such couples
to adopt children.
Mr. VARNELL, an e-commerce consultant, and Mr.
BOURASSA, a former
bank manager who is now a full-time advocate for marriage equality,
were wed at the Metropolitan Community Church before the Dutch
law was changed, using an ancient -- and legally valid -- Christian
tradition of publication of banns, which amount to a notice of
intent to marry. This allowed them to avoid having to get a marriage
licence issued by the city.
The hitch, however, has been that whether a marriage in Ontario
is preceded by civil licence or by banns, it has to be registered
by the province's registrar-general.
Yesterday's court ruling not only ordered the City of Toronto
to issue licences to same-sex couples but also told the province
to register same-sex marriages. The city complied immediately,
and by late yesterday morning had issued licences to several
couples, including Ontario Crown attorney Michael
LESHNER, 55,
who a few hours later married his partner of two decades, Michael
STARK, 45, in front of Mr. Justice John
HAMILTON of the Ontario
Superior Court.
"This is first and foremost a Canadian love story," said Mr.
LESHNER, who has been a thorn in the side of the Ontario government
for years.
"This is why people come to Canada, because they marvel at our
values, and we've sent an unmistakable message that love can
conquer all, the love of two good men can defeat everything....
It [homophobia] is dead legally as of today."
The joy and optimism of homosexual groups was tempered by the
Ontario government's reluctance to embrace the ruling immediately
without reservation.
Attorney-General Norman
STERLING told the legislature that he
was waiting to hear whether the federal government would appeal
the decision to the Supreme Court. Although municipalities and
provinces administer marriages, the federal government is responsible
for defining marriage.
"We will, of course, follow what the court says in the decision
and follow that to the letter of the law," Mr.
STERLING said.
Among those celebrating yesterday were Joyce
BARNETT and Alison
KEMPER, who also picked up their marriage licences at Toronto
City Hall and will marry in July, 2004. The women, both of whom
are ordained in the Anglican Church, have been together since
Their two children were delighted. "I knew that nobody could
say I didn't have a family," said Robbie, 11, who was born to
Ms. KEMPER. "
Canada has finally figured out it's unfair to deny
this to anybody."
His sister Hannah, 17, said she has grown up to find that she
is heterosexual. She said she is indebted to her parents for
bringing her up "where it's okay to be what you want to be."
The court ruling did not sit well with some religious organizations,
including the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada.
EvangelicalFellowship of Canada president Bruce
CELEMENGER said
the court has fundamentally redefined marriage.
"It is not an appropriate use of the Charter to redefine pre-existing
social, cultural and religious institutions," he said.

CEPENDA m@ca.on.york_county.toronto.toronto_star 2006-10-02 published
65 years and counting
Two Toronto brothers, their little sister and their spouses celebrate
an incredible 65-plus years of marriage
By Andrea GORDON,
FamilyIssuesWriter
Jennie GRUDI and her brothers Joseph and Harry
SPENCER have always
shared a lot. Their Ukrainian heritage, many a Christmas Eve
feast and a passion for music and dancing.
But how's this for a family tradition? As of last week, all three
have been married for 65 years.
For Jennie, 85, and her husband, it's actually been 66. Their
anniversary was two weeks ago. Then last Wednesday, Joseph, 89,
and his wife celebrated 65 years. Harry, 87, and his beloved
Margaret hit the 65-year mark in June.
"I think this is a pretty good story," Jennie says, smiling at
her husband Stephen, 90, as the six long-time love birds gathered
around the kitchen table in the
GRUDIs'
Etobicoke home.
No doubt about it. Why should celebrity breakups get all the
ink? Brad and Jennifer, Nicole and Tom indeed. Where are the
paparazzi when the really big marriage stories come along?
TheQueen sent a letter of congratulations to the
GRUDIs. So
did the Prime Minister, the Governor General and Ontario's premier.
The least they could do. It's not often you get to extend Happy
65th Anniversary wishes. You have to look long and hard to even
find a card for the occasion.
Between them, the three couples have almost 200 years of marriage.
Eight children, 21 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren.
In the period they've been married, Elizabeth Taylor has done
it eight times. Courtship has moved from the soda fountain to
the computer keyboard. Romance is more likely to blossom to the
strains of hip-hop than big band.
But the secrets to long, strong marriages endure.
"We could always go to each other and talk anything out," Margaret,
85, says of her connection to Harry. "And we never went to bed
mad."
"That's right," he adds, a twinkle in his eye. "She always had
to apologize first." (Clearly, a sense of humour is important,
too.)
A strong constitution helps. Joseph, who has been smitten with
Dorreen, 87, for almost as long as he can remember, cites his
mother's cooking. "Kapusta (cabbage soup) and borscht."
But their parents Victoria
BARON and William
CEPENDA, who were
born in Ukraine, met in Toronto and married in 1916, raised their
three kids on more than hearty soup. Love. Loyalty. Discipline.
A strong Baptist faith. The boys eventually anglicized their
last name to Spencer.
Their dad cried when the last child moved out of the west-Toronto
house where they all grew up. He died at 69, their mom at 82.
These couples don't say it in so many words, but their marriages
have flourished because of partners who are caring and generous.
And not just to each other.
Harry, who quit school at 12 and later worked in a foundry during
the war, has spent 60 years as a prison volunteer counselling
inmates.
At home in Orillia, where the couple moved from Toronto 17 years
ago, he often mows neighbours' lawn and clears their snow.
Steve, a long-time sheet metal worker, and Jennie, who just finished
harvesting a good crop from her vegetable garden, both volunteer
in their community, preparing food for other seniors and driving
them to appointments.
Joseph had a long teaching career at Central Technical School
and was honoured by the Governor General for his distinguished
volunteer service with Saint_John Ambulance.
He still teaches Sunday school.
Last week, there was romance in the air as the couples reminisced
about when their first sparks ignited.
Jennie remembers encountering Steve. "He met me and he said in
Ukrainian, 'Where have you been all my life?' He was with his
girlfriend."
Thank goodness the gal only spoke English. Eleven months later
they were married.
It was at summer camp in the late '30s that Joseph fell for Dorreen.
He found out where she attended church and one Sunday morning
took the streetcar across Toronto to greet her as she emerged.
They married in 1941 and a few months later he was overseas with
the air force. They wrote twice a week, still have the letters.
Harry and Margaret have Jennie to thank.
One day as a teenager, Margaret handed over her little autograph
book to Jennie, hoping her friend's older brother might pen something
memorable. He did. Then he returned the book in person. And the
rest is history.
The six have always been close. Every Christmas, Dorreen did
the turkey, Steve carved and Margaret made the dessert. "Squares,
all kinds," she says, reluctant to blow her own horn.
That's okay. The others will. They never stop singing each other's
praises, finishing each other's sentences and urging one another
to expound on their accomplishments.
"A big asset is being part of this family," says Dorreen.
She tries to explain further, but it's hard to talk when you're
all choked up.
No need to say more anyway. They all know.
Steve's wit takes a backseat, too, when it's his turn to reflect.
"I wish I could go for another 65 -- with the same woman."
He looks around the table, realizing he speaks for them all.
And really, what better anniversary gift could you get than that?