“I recently had to make a significant life decision to end a long-term relationship and while I see this as a great opportunity to start fresh and REALLY go after what I want and need, I’m at a bit of a loss as to where to start. Any tips on getting clear on my own needs would be wonderful.”

In this podcast, Chris and Paul tackle the subject and provide two simple exercises that any can apply to their own situation.

One looks at identifying what you want more of, and less of. Another gets your mind stimulated by looking at experiences, people, characteristics and relationships that either fuel your energy or drain your energy.

After listening to this podcast, let us know what you want more of or send us a topic/question for a future show.

“I love your podcasts — use them sometimes to wake up by or work out by. Plus they are PRACTICAL. Have you done, or would you please do a program on living with chronic pain? Proper lifestyle, rest, and practitioners, massages, swimming, hypnosis, meditation, staying busy, rest, acupuncture, medical management, etc. have always been part of my life— but it would be helpful to get some of your wonderful upbeat and insightful coaching on working with this topic.

He gave the teen audience 3 great pieces of life advice. Some of them drawn specifically from his recent role playing Steve Jobs. You can also view a video of the Steve Jobs speech, that he gave at Stanford University in 2005.

1: Opportunity looks like Hard Work

2: Be “Sexy”

3: Build your own life

Whatever you think of Ashton AKA “Chris” he seems to have hit a chord with the audience and with the main stream media.

During the podcast Chris and Paul talk through the points that Ashton raises and go into more depth.

How can you add a bit more sexiness in to your life?

We’d love to know what 3 life tips would you give to a teenager.

We hope you enjoyed this podcast and would love to know your ideas for topic suggestions just contact us via our feedback page

After a few months off from regular podcasting, the ActionPodcast crew are back!

In this show, Chris and Paul discuss the importance of periodically stepping back and taking stock of what is really most important. Sometimes we all need to hit the reset button, take an honest look at our priorities, and put some things on “pause”.

And doing that often requires courage to make decisions to let go of things that are holding you back. In this discussion, Chris references an article from the NY Times on “The Busy Trap” which can be found here.

We also talk about what we’ve been up to and our plans for the future.

We’d love to hear your suggestions for topics and your success stories. Please share in the comments below or on our Facebook page.

This is an old post, but it’s getting a lot of hits because of the recent events in Paris. From all of us here, our hearts go out to everyone during this terrible time.

It’s 14 July here in France, better known as Bastille Day to non-French is a national day of celebration of freedom, equality and brotherhood. Liberté! Egalité! Fraternité! The clarion call by supporters of the French Republique – and the only thing most of us Anglo Saxons remember from our French history classes – is A Very Important Day in France. For on this very day: July 14th 1789, the people of Paris stormed the Bastille prison – for them the very symbol of a brutal, elitist system; a monarchy completely out of touch with its people. Totalitarianism absolute.

In actual fact it’s also great excuse to have an enormous military parade along the Champs Elysées, a wow! aerial flypast and, a massive firework party this evening, where the Eiffel Tower will be set alight in red, white and blue.. and a whole lot more. Paris is full of tourists but a lot of Parisennes seem to have left the city for the weekend. St Germain, where I’m staying, is particularly quiet along the side streets.

So in the shade of Les Deux Magots, I got to wondering about the meaning of freedom. So many of us wait until we have ‘enough’ money, or have lost ‘enough’ weight, or have the ‘right’ partner, or ‘right’ job before we call in our chips and make a break for the border. But real freedom has very little to do with external forces, and everything to do with our perception and our thoughts. You can feel trapped with 100 million in the bank, or with just 10 quid in your current account. It just depends on the definition and meaning you give things.

You can be free right now. You can change your thoughts right this minute… it’s totally up to you. But you have to actively choose to be free. It sounds simple, and it is. So here are a few tips:

1. Become aware of your thoughts. We usually think the same 4 to 10 thoughts every day. Over and over again. What are you telling yourself around the subject of freedom? Is it a scary prospect? Or simply an impossible idea?

2. Start focusing on what you DO want, not on the things you don’t. Our subconscious creates everything we focus on. So if you don’t want something in your life, do not focus on it. It’s like the phrase: “Don’t think about pink rabbits”. What did you just have an image of? Precisely.

3. How can you feel more free in your life? And what does freedom mean to you? Write the answers down.

4. Become more present. To do this shift your focus from the future (which creates anxiety) and from the past (guilt, shame ext). Be. Here. Now. Become aware of your fingers on your keyboard, the sun on your face, the cool water in your shower. You can’t stop your thoughts but you can definitely be more present.

Sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? We’ve been taught to believe that ‘going with the flow’ means inaction and passivity. Lying back and letting life happen to us, without any sense of direction or will involved. Old hippy dippy stuff.

But the true meaning of the phrase is the exact opposite. When we negotiate a river and go with the flow, we harness the energy that’s already available to us, in the currents. And we combine it with our own. Fighting the current is pointless, as is inaction. To truly go with the flow in life is to notice patterns, energy and circumstances around us – whether they be challenging or easy – and make full use of them. As a result we’ll get to wherever we are going far faster than if we resist.

Going with the flow doesn’t mean we have no idea where we are going. We do. But we remain open to the myriad ways of actually reaching our destination. There is no ‘right way’. Yet for so many of us (me included) our control beliefs all too often dictate the show. We decide on a course of action and come hell or high water we’re gonna stick with it. We have our GPS all worked out and can’t possibly deviate! Our beliefs tell us that unless we are ‘in charge’ we will lose our way, or lose ourselves.

The result of this rigidity? Staying in relationships way past their sell-by date (ouch – done that), jobs that are unfulfilling and drain our life force (tick), and in friendships that no longer serve us (been there too). We rigidly remain tied to plans that simply aren’t working and refuse to budge. Painful.

Recently, I had a plan to move to the south of France, and headed there. But after only a few weeks I realised that this was not the right place for me. I needed to let go of certain constructs and ideas I’d had and allow myself to be guided by my intuition. It didn’t actually bother me that I’d told everyone I was moving there (again) and instead I headed south for Spain and spent a blissful time on the coast at my friend’s wedding. A totally unexpected change of events that was even more wonderful as I got to see a dear friend from New York I hadn’t seen since 2009.

By letting go of my Grand Design, I was able to create space for other, better and more fulfilling opportunities to come into my life. It’s scary stepping into the unknown as it so often feels like a void. But this void is actually pregnant with potential. Trusting that there is a higher force guiding us – if we will only allow it – takes practice and self-awareness. But the more we do it, the more trust we will have in it. And the richer and more fulfilling our lives will be as a result.

This week, take a look and feel into areas of your life where you know you are holding on. Maybe take a different route to work, shake it up a little. Or go for a walk with no destination in mind and simply allow yourself to be guided. Practice going with the flow in your life and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Are you amazed at how quickly time seems to be passing? Worried that December will be here again and you won’t have taken action towards making those longed-for changes in your life? Perhaps it’s time to ditch the baby steps and push yourself out of your comfort zone!

Chris and Gina discuss ways you can begin to take big, bold steps – and calculated risks – towards creating the life you’d love. If you wanted to increase your happiness quotient by 10x – what could you do TODAY to get the ball rolling?

Life would be so much easier if we could just see over the camel’s hump, and realise that at the very moment when we feel like giving up, we are only metres from the finish line. If we could only trust that round those pesky U-bends in life is a gorgeous sun waiting to give us a big hug! Or as one sage teacher of mine once opined: “Joy is an interval between two sorrows” Ouch!

There have been times in my life where I have definitely felt like giving up and those moments are when (I now realise) I’ve been the closest to achieving what I started out to do. When I was only 10 minutes from completing the editing and laying out my first children’s story, I felt as if I was drowning in quicksand. The effort it took to finish was incredible. But I forced myself. I made the effort.

The minute we hear our inner voice saying: “I can’t be bothered” is the beginning of a slippery slope. A slope that leads us away from creating what we’d love, from engaging with the people that we’d love to have in our lives – and most fundamentally – it stops us from engaging with our Selves, and life. Not a wise move.

So what can you do to ensure you keep going around the U-bends of life?

1. Don’t ever, ever give up (unless it’s an abusive relationship or something else that is making you very ill – emotionally and mentally).

2. Check in with your feelings. Are you scared of failure? Of success? Of being judged? Acknowledge these feelings and realise that they have arisen from thoughts that aren’t necessarily true. You are simply projecting your fears into an imaginary future that hasn’t even happened yet!

3. Take a break. Go and do something physical like a brisk walk – or if you’re feeling angry go punch a few pillows (works for me every time!).

4. Allow yourself to be imperfectly perfect. You don’t have to be number one. You just have to do your very best. That is always good enough. Stop competing.

5. Have faith. Yes, I know the very word conjures up religious connotations but having faith in something greater than yourself is a powerful way of being. Have a try.

If you tend to give up when the going gets tough, then try some of the above tips. We’d love to hear how you get on – sharing your own experiences with other readers helps to inspire them too. You can leave a voice message on our website landing page or write to me at: gina@actionpodcast./com

A great topic suggestion from Anne-Marie, who’s friend is suffering from a bout of low confidence. So what can she do to help her friend through this period of low confidence?

By first focusing on the language that both of you use, you can help them find areas in which they do have confidence. This kind of support will help your friend recognise that there are good parts and not everything is doom and gloom.

Although your friend might not have confidence in a specific task, helping them recognise their own self belief can be critical to helping them through a difficult time.

Confidence is based on being certain, to a degree, of an outcome. No matter how inconsequential it might seem. Taking baby steps can really lead to big changes over time.

With your support, your friend will have the choice to make small changes everyday so that in a few weeks, months or maybe years they will be in a better place. If they start making those changes now.

Listen to the podcast to find out how to change your focus and give you the strength to move forward.

Have you helped a friend through a period of low confidence? What worked for you and more importantly your friend? Leave a comment below or use our feedback page

I’m sure most people will agree that there’s no better way to boost motivation than rewards. Each time you achieve something big, reach a goal, or move forward with a task, a little pat on the back in the form of rewards will go a long way.

However, are the so-called rewards we give ourselves healthy or helpful?

Personal goals can range from losing weight, quitting smoking, eating healthy, to completing a project or getting a big promotion. To achieve your goal requires going out of your comfort zone, pushing yourself to your limits, and taking risks. And there will be times when you’ll hit a blank wall, but there will also be times when you achieve certain milestones.

When you do achieve that milestone, the best way to celebrate and reinforce the positive behaviour is to reward yourself. Indulging in little rewards is a good reminder to not quit and keep moving forward.

You should watch and make sure that the rewards you give yourself don’t backfire on you. If your big goal is to lose weight, then don’t reward yourself with an eat-all-you-can buffet! The reward is that you lost weight, not the possibility of over eating again. Instead, reward yourself with smaller, better fitting clothes or perhaps a new gym outfit!

If you’re working to save money or get out of debt, then don’t celebrate your hard work by spending money to reward yourself. Buying something new or indulging in a shopping spree won’t help with your long term goals, in fact; it may cause you to relapse to your old spending habits! It may be a better idea if you use the money you’ve saved up to open a new investment account or simply put the money in a rainy-day piggy bank.

Be careful that your motivation doesn’t slide you backwards and away from your goal.

It happens to everyone. We get over-zealous with our achievements and want to celebrate immediately. It’s absolutely fine to give yourself a reward, but make sure you do it the right way. Here’s how:

Save the rewards for those big wins and milestones. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging every little success you make and feeling motivated about it. But there’s a big difference between acknowledging success and actually rewarding them financially. Watch out that you don’t mix these terms.

Motivation doesn’t always have to come in material things. Think of rewards that will relax you, inspire you, and soothe your inner spirit. Be creative about it; time alone with a good book can be as good as a new gadget and it won’t cost a dime. Try giving yourself time off from work to walk your dog or take your kids out to the park.

Okay, if you really want to reward yourself materially by buying something, then make sure you put a ceiling on your spending limit. Don’t blow the money you saved for so long with just a single purchase to reward yourself. Celebrate getting out of debt, but try not to get yourself back in debt while you’re at it.

Don’t cheat by rewarding yourself anytime you feel like it. Only reward yourself when you truly deserve it, this makes the moment extra special. Don’t grab a hearty meal every time you feel like you need the motivation to keep losing weight because you never will reach your goal that way! Save the celebration when you know you truly deserve it.

When thinking of the best reward always choose time over food. The last thing you want is to find yourself regularly splurging on food just to reward yourself for hard work. You might soon find yourself looking for the slightest reason to splurge on food. Choose time—give yourself more time with a book, more time with friends, and family.

Have you ever given yourself a nonsensical reward just for the fun of it? Share your experiences below.

ActionPodcast is your source of inspiration and motivation for taking consistent action in your life.

Our audio shows are deliberately kept short, around 10-15 mins to help you squeeze a weekly boost in to your schedule. From managing stress to managing time, gaining confidence to getting rid of excuses, the experienced team of ActionPodcast coaches provides practical insights and actionable ideas for making consistent progress in the important areas of your life. Read more...