When in the nightmare world
you can speak of your fantasy land
pick it apart
think of its components as false
talk of all the lies
until it seems a distant place
a farcical dream of the mind

If you live and give life to this nightmare
denying fantasy but desiring escape
it can only end tragically

When in fantasy world
nightmare land must not be talked of
to give words to such thoughts
gives them unknowable power
particularly if its a fantasy you are trying to share
for words do not and can not care

Thoughts even without being uttered
will tear the world around you
until you are in your nightmare domain
for both worlds exist in the same place
on the same plain
that individual and personal space
your brain

Like everything it is your mind
you have only one
and I think for some it knows
only one world and it calls it
‘reality’ ‘normality’
or other words that refine and define
and are empowered by a person
and paraded by society

What value this notion of a one world has
I could not say
because I could not fit
in ‘it’
too many questions
and a life which lead out of such a place

So now I live like anyone else
my perceptions and preconceptions
constantly in flux
in the world of conflicting states

But I acknowledge this
thinking individually
and try to live a life of fantasy

The Utopian Dream
First you crave it
unknown
not knowing what you crave

Then piece by piece
you realise
you recognise
the holes
the desires
the missing

In time you begin to dream it
a hazy dream
a feeling
a few persistent thoughts
become rooted in your mind

Now fertile
you cultivate
you let thoughts flow
and exponentially they grow

Unnumbered
unordered
ideas
thoughts
desires
fill and swell
beyond the cavity of your skull
beyond the networks of you brain
beyond the beating of your heart
and when all is over taken
all thoughts thought
all desires desired

a search
an expedition
a striving for
intangible
ideas
for the felt
the experienced
the recognisable
the relatable
a search
an expedition
a striving for
intangible
ideas
for the felt
the experienced
the recognisable
the relatable
a search

after walking in the woods
the woods of the tall trees
there is a clearing
the plants that reigned so fiercely over head cease there hold on the land

new sensations come to your tired feet
unwalked paths become your every step
the grass is long and wild

the cold dark sky meets the ground
with the crisp sound of frost crackling as the grass stiffens
green turns white and glistens in the stray beams of moon light
beams that seem strong and empowered after their fight through the deepest black clouds

clouds gripped by the winter wind
swarm into every empty expanse of sky

in the distance
beyond

an unnatural light penetrates the now lowering fog
with each line of blue illuminating the sky
with each strand that meets your eye
a mystery of the unknown
what origin has this phenomenon grown

stop
transfixed
like a kid first time gazing the stars

a chill
the world as you knew
the home that made you
this is not it
this is new

the skys move
the wind grows

your eyes peer unknowingly into

blue
more blue
transpiring in front of you
tall
sharp
lines
cut and divide this eerie translucent view

with an inward breath you think of a return
to step back amongst the trees
the comfort of familiarity

with the outward breath you step forwards
with everything you have learnt
no answers have been found