I feel so weird this morning. You know that feeling you get when you just know something bad is going to happen, but you don’t know what it is? That’s how I feel about the Mets right now, and it’s something I can’t shake.

I had a lot of hope for this season, and I’ve managed to stay about as optimistic about this season as any Mets fan possibly can. But hope is fading fast and something even worse than pessimism is starting to grab a hold of me… a feeling of impending doom and gloom. I hope it’s just something temporary and that it will go away in a couple of days, or after a couple of wins, but I feel it’s grip and it may be too difficult to escape from its clutches.. It’s gnawing at me…

If there’s one thing I hate more than making a bad decision, it’s not making one at all.

I’m not happy with the total lack of indecisiveness that the Mets displayed yesterday. It was weak. I wanted someone to say, “we’re mad as hell and we’re not gonna take it anymore.” Instead, we got nothing… empty air and hollow voices…

Where are we as an organization? And more importantly, where are we heading?

Even if you could forgive the Mets for not giving us a sign that they are as angry about the 2-9 road trip as we are, it may be too difficult to forgive them if they do nothing at the trade deadline. If they choose not to be buyers or sellers at the deadline and leave the team and it’s totally spent fanbase in a state of purgatory, I’ll spend the rest of this season calling for the whole damned lot of them to get fired. I will unleash Hell.

I need the Mets to give me something… I need to know that they are focused on the future… I need to know what that future is because I need something tangible to hang onto.

If they decide to be buyers and make some bold moves to make a serious run for the post season, I will be fine with that.

If they decide to be sellers and trade away some veterans in exchange for prospects, I will be fine with that too.

But please don’t sit on your pompous asses and tell me that you are unsure of what your status is… Don’t you dare do this to us.

I can forgive the fact that you promised us that your primary goal this offseason was to acquire a frontline starter and yet you showed up to Spring Training empty handed.

I can forgive the fact that you promised us that you wouldn’t slash payroll, when in fact you cut it by over $25 million dollars.

I can forgive the fact that you then promised you were saving that dough for in-season acquisitions, and then reneged.

I can forgive you for a lot more than all of that, but one thing I will not forgive you for is two more months of what we’ve seen in the last two weeks. Uninspired baseball.

The team may be guilty of not scoring runs in their last eleven games, it’s true that they haven’t produced as planned in the second half. But, your coaching, management and executive staff haven’t produced in almost four years, which is a much more serious offense.

After reading the tea leaves this morning from various sources, it upsets me to hear that the Mets are now in a state of mass confusion. They don’t know their identity. Some of the execs believe that they need to add a starting pitcher, others believe that the rotation is perfectly fine and that we need a reliever, while others still believe that they shouldn’t trade for anything at all because they don’t see the Mets as viable contenders for the rest of the season. What a freaking mess.

These Mets have no vision… a clear sign that they lack leadership… they are adrift at sea… rudderless…

As was the case in the last few seasons, while the ship was sinking and needed life boats and life preservers to sustain life, Wright, Angel, Johan and their teammates may end up sinking and drowning without any rescue attempts from the front office. Their hopelessness was quite visible on their faces and in their body language during the Dodgers series. Silent cries for help…

There’s now a very good chance that the Mets higher-ups will simply watch their team flail and struggle and scream, until they finally succumb to the bitter end of another dismal and disastrous season. Another wasted year of dashed hopes, shattered dreams and broken promises… And worse yet, no vision for 2011 and beyond… Just the emptiness of being stuck in the vastness of space.

Can this really be happening to us again?

I hope I am dead wrong, but like I said in the beginning of this post, I can’t seem to shake this feeling of impending doom in the pit of my stomach.

I'm a lifelong Mets fan who loves writing and talking about the Amazins' 24/7. From the Miracle in 1969 to the magic of 1986, and even the near misses in '73, '00 and '15, I've experienced it all - the highs and the lows. I started Mets Merized Online in 2005 to feed my addiction and interact with other passionate Met fans like you. Follow me on Twitter @metsmerized.

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