Friday, 10 May 2013

People move on and I just feel like I'm in the same place with my ED that I have been for years. This blog is so repeatitive. I've been ill (with a stomach bug) for a week. Two weeks ago I was starting to be more relaxed about food, I wanted to start exercising more but things were going in the right direction. Now I've been ill for a week and barely eaten I'm stuck again, scared to increase my food, scared of people seeing me eat/ not eat. Being sick all the time makes me wonder how I used to do it to myself. I've realised how much weaker my body is and that a nasty bug that someone else here is better from has really knocked me.I don't know what to do. I sort of want to start a new blog, more focused on steps to getting better. Equally I should probably spend less time on the internet because I've realised how I used tumblr and youtube to trigger myself. In terms of The Woods, they think I'm not trying enough and that I'm self-pitying. My therapist disagrees and I think my GP does too, communication has broken down, hopefully having a meeting with me, my therapist and T &F.