I've got a lot of question. Mainly to do with how a Dirac Swords and what they symbolize.

Dirac swords are things which make it possible to change your surroundings, as far as I can see they can only be a representation of power, in order to get a Dirac Sword you must embrace suffering.

So are the creators of Chaos;Head saying that if you embrace suffering you can gain power? Is this true?

Also, I really hate the main character, I felt like he was me when I was 17 and I knew exactly what he should have done, but I wasn't able to control him. It was like that picture with that cat, "fucking faggot Takumi, just do what I say, do it, DO IT YOU DOUBLE NIGGER". Why even make it a game if the way to have impact on the outcome is so obfuscated?

What way do delusions influence the outcome? I was just clicking on shit randomly.
And could it be said that we only have as much control over our own selves as we do Takumi? That We can only influence our own actions in minor ways?

And I kept finding myself falling in love with these fictional characters, especially FES, only to have them emasculate, deride, and degrade me, and then to see them die in various ways if I chose the Red Biorhythm.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK.

It hit way to fucking close to home. I was Takumi at one point in my life, and I still am in a lot of ways.

And all that gore...juxtaposed against the dream like, almost romance novel style. Fuck.