I realized the other day while taping myself that I no longer look young. Not like I used to.

I am getting tired, also.

I thought that speaking out loud about some things and taping it would help me unblock myself. And so I was virtually speaking to my ex boyfriends and telling them that I could not care less about them. And while doing it, I felt nothing, but when I looked at my face I felt old enough to die. And I wondered if maybe my friends talk about that when I’m not there.

-Sygila’s been looking quite older lately, don’t you think?
-Yes. I think she might be going through one of her stages, you know.
-I wonder if she’s all right. She never talks about her problems, anyway.

But I do talk about my problems. FUCK, I DO FUCKING TALK ABOUT THEM.

You just do not want to hear what I have to say, and I happen to know why. Can’t blame you all, though.

You cannot solve my problems. Not even if you were willing to actually hear about them. You know almost nothing about me.