Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The praise of comfort

I love praise and worship, individually, in small groups, as a corporate body, and in large crowds. There is freedom in worship. Tonight there was also revelation.Over the past year I have learned a lot about myself and about my view of God. I identified that I have the hardest time accepting the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, especially as a comforter because I did not have a lot of nurturing in my life. Emotions were not expressed and comfort was not received. Tonight as we sang, I was a little distracted by the little peeps that joined me. I was enjoying the presence of the Lord, but also trying to keep an eye on them to make sure they weren't doing something they shouldn't. My eyes were opened so I noticed, as I was turning around to look at them, I could see those around me with arms wide opening praising the Lord. The universal sign of surrender, a stance I often have in praise, but not tonight. Not at that moment in time.My hands were, as they often are, over each other on my heart, like the sign for Love. I have no idea where I learned to worship like that. For a moment I felt guilty that I wasn't "surrendered." But He gently reminded me I learned to trust Him and surrender (not that it is not a daily process) at an early age. I lifted my hands to Him because He was the one I could trust always. I surrendered before I knew what surrender was because I knew I couldn't deal with things without Him. Even when I walked away from Him, He was there, and I knew it.I needed to held Him close in worship, because I need to learn that He can comfort me. For a few years now, I have found the freedom of emotions in worship. Tears that have been bottled up for years flow freely before the Lord in worship. I have poured out my soul in song and praise and prayers of groaning when words wouldn't come. Then I realized, I have been holding Him closer. Initially if my hands were not raised, they were in front of me like a child praying. I don't know why I did this. But the past few months, it has been more of an embrace at times. God has been comforting me. He has been guiding me through months of especially vulnerable times. He has been drawing me close, but I have also been drawing Him closer. Letting Him comfort me, nurture me, guard me. I was focused on allowing people in to comfort me, but all the while He was drawing me in to let Him be my comforter.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Jackie Schnedler. I am a mother of three adult children. I also have three grandchildren. I am married to my junior high sweetheart, this is our second marriage to each other. And as the youngest of five children I am also in the stage of life, where I help care for my widowed mother.

I am a social worker by profession. I have worked in child welfare, psychiatric hospital, medical hospital, private practice, and nonprofit. I love being a social worker, and although I can't share the personal stories due to confidentiality, God has given me wisdom to help others through things I couldn't imagine. Often times I can share the lesson, but without the story. My life has been blessed to touch the lives of many, and I am blessed to be used by God doing what I do.

Life has given me a lot of experiences to write about, and God is
giving me new insight into things stretching me and growing me in to who
He designed me to be when I finally grow up! Usually when people meet
me, they say "Your too young to have a 22 year old," to which I respond
"Yes." Kinda not worth the argument and they don't want to hear my
crazy teenage mother story.

That being said, I believe every experience I have been through has been for the benefit of others. It is not my job to tell others' stories, but it is my passion to help people who are in circumstances that I have been through and share the wisdom that God has given me to help people through circumstances I haven't faced.