Chapters:

The doctor had to put a cast on my arm. It was broken and it hurt
like shit until the doctor gave me pain meds.

"How did this happen again, dear?" Asked the blonde doctor.

I looked over to Tristan who was glaring at me and I looked back
to the doctor. "I fell down the stairs in my house. I'm really
clumsy."

"Ah. My son did the same thing playing around with his friends."
She said shaking her head. I wasn't trying to tune her out but I
couldn't help it as I glared at Tristan. He glared back at me.

He broke my arm.

That day he told me to quit the diner, when I came home, I
purposely crashed my car into his. And he came out and just……hurt
me.

I don't know why I can't find the strength to leave him. I love
him but I hate him. I thought I was strong, but he's making me
weak. And I have a feeling that was his intentions in this
relationship.

When I was released, I let Tristan walk ahead of me as he led us
to the car. His new car that he's driving until both of our cars
is fixed.

I got into the car and Tristan got into the driver's side.

He pulled out of the parking lot and out onto the road.

"You need to start packing. I bought the house." He said.

I stared out the passenger window.

"Did you hear me?"

I didn't answer. Yes I heard you you fucking psychopath.

He grabbed the arm that had a cast on it and squeezed it until I
cried out. "Did you fucking hear me?"

"Yes! Yes! I heard you!" He let go of me and looked back to the
road.

So it's obvious that I married a psycho. How did I not see this
shit coming? I should just roll out of this fucking car right now
but that would result in my death so that option was out.

"Is this how it's always going to be for now on? Every time you
get mad, I end up in the hospital and I have to lie my ass off
because of some shit that you've done?"

He shook his head. "All you have to do is not piss me off. The
damages of my and your car cost a lot."

"You can afford it."

"Yes, I can but still. You shouldn't have done that shit."

"You told me I have to cut myself off from everything that makes
me happy while you make me irritated and annoyed and depressed.
You make me suicidal. I should just fucking leave while I still
can." Tristan suddenly swerved the car really fast and drove into
a deserted area. I stared at him as he turned the car off and got
out of it and slammed the door shut.

He came over to my side and opened the door and dragged me out by
my arm and pushed me up against the car. "I am really sick of
your shit, Jenna. I really am. I need you to shut the fuck up.
You're not leaving me so get that damn thought out of your head."

"I…."

"No. Shut up. You're not leaving me. Okay? You're not. Now get in
the car and keep your mouth shut. Alright? Are you capable of
handling that?"

"No." I said staring at him. Tristan sighed.

"You're so goddamn…." He closed his eyes for a second. "Just get
in the car, Jenna. I'm sick of arguing with you. Get in. Now." He
walked to the other side and stared at me.

"Now, Jenna."

I shook my head and started walking away. Why did I let him back
into my life that night? I let him take control of my mind, body
and soul. I hated myself right now.

"Jenna," He grabbed me by my hair and I yelped as he dragged me
back to the car. He opened the door and forced me in.

He got into the other side and turned the car right back around
and started back onto the road. I kept quiet for the rest of the
car ride.

When we got home, I went upstairs; I went to the bedroom and took
a nap.

My dream was odd. I was lying down on a bed. Some unknown place
and Tristan was standing over me. Staring at me.

I couldn't move. I was in too much pain.

What the hell?

When I woke up, Tristan was sitting on the edge of the bed
looking at me. I sat up and stared back at him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I shook my head.

"Don't."

"Jenna, I'm just……"

I nodded.

"I understand." I whispered.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I love you,
Jenna. So much."

"I can't tell much lately."

He nodded. "I know."

"Everything's been so fucked up and it's all my fault. I'm
sorry."

"Please can we stay here?" I asked. Practically begging. Tristan
shook his head.

"Please." He shook his head again and I got up. Tristan brought
me down on his lap. His lips were at my ear. "If you have my
baby, we can stay here. Okay?"

My eyes grew wide. I didn't know what to say or what to do.

Have his baby in order to stay close to my family and friends or
go far away from them and maybe never see them again.

"We'd have to wait for my arm to heal." I said. Tristan smiled
and kissed me.

"I love you so much." He kissed my lips and then my neck.

I fake smiled. "I love you too."

My phone ran and I got up and answered it while Tristan watched
me.

"Jenna Robinson," Fuck. Lindsey.

"I'm about to call your mom and dad."

"I'm staying." I said.

"Well thank goodness but still….I know you're lovesick and shit
but please don't do this to yourself. Do you understand how much
emotional and physical damage Johnnie put me through because of
how long I was with him?"

"Every guy isn't like Johnnie. Jesus, Lindsey. I know you're just
trying to look out for me but-"

Tristan grabbed the phone from my hand.

"Lindsey, Hi."

He paused for a second while looking at me. "We're staying here
calm down."

I sat back on the bed and looked down on the floor.

"Listen you little cunt…" I quickly grabbed the phone from him.

"I have to go Lindsey, Bye." I hung up the phone and threw it on
the bed. I looked up at Tristan. "Can you not treat everyone I
care about like shit?" I asked.

Tristan smirked.

"I'm fucking sick of you."

"Jenna, who else, beside Lindsey do I treat like shit?"

"You dislike April, Daeton, Ronnie. And I can tell that you
dislike your friends and even me."He shook his head and grabbed
my waist. "I love you."

"Why don't you like your mom and dad?"

"Neither of them are my mom and dad."

"They took care of you when your real mom and dad tossed you
aside like you were nothing." Tristan's eyes grew dark.

"I really don't want to talk about this right now, Jenna. All its
going to do is piss me off."

There was a knock downstairs.

Tristan followed me downstairs as I descended and I went to open
the door. Sean, Nate, and Carl all came in.

"Hey guys." I was happy to see them.

Sean looked down at my cast. "Damn, Niles. What happened?"

"I fell down the stairs." I said. It almost sounded like the
truth.

"Need to be more careful if you planning on having a little twit
around here." Sean said taking off his jacket.

"Really? You're just going to call my unborn child a little twit?
Nice." I said sarcastically.

"You know I'm kidding, Niles." He pulled me in for a hug and
kissed my cheek.

I smiled and then hugged Nate and then Carl.

"Where have you bastards been anyway? Been dull without Mr. and
Mrs. Niles around."

"Well we've been really busy." Tristan replied. He took my hand
and pulled me onto his lap on the couch.

Carl sat next to us and Sean sat across from us and so did Carl.

"Hey, how's that Chinese girl you were seeing?" I asked. Carl
looked over to Sean. "Dumbass, I kept telling you that she's
Asian." Carl said glaring at Sean. Sean shrugged. "Sorry. I can't
tell the difference."

"Racist?" I asked.

Sean shook his head. "Not racist. Just can't tell the difference.

Sean was like Tristan's alter ego. All of them were.

Sean was the "prick" side.

Nate was the "sweet" side.

And Carl was the "whatever happens…happens" side.

Why didn't I see that before?

"How soon will I get to be called "Godfather" Miss Jenna?" Nate
asked smiling.

"Once my arm heals then we're planning on having a baby." I said.

"A little Tristan Jr. or Little Jenna running around here." Nate
said smiling. I smiled at him and I felt Tristan dig his nails
into my back. I jumped a little and all three of them looked at
me.

"You okay?" Carl asked. I nodded.

I reached back so my arm was behind Tristan's head and I pulled
his hair. He glared at me and I pulled harder until he groaned.

I let go and continued smiling.

"I'm the godfather too right? I mean…kids make me want to off
myself but I wouldn't mind being a part of his or her life. I
want to spoil the little shit." Sean said.

"Of course. You all can be the godfathers and spoiling the kid is
my job."

"I'll get the little bastard a boat for its sixteenth birthday."
Sean said.

I giggled.

"I would have already done that by her tenth birthday."

Sean smiled and shook his head. "We'll see, Niles."

"We're actually competing to see who will spoil my baby more?"

"Game on."

I smiled at him and Tristan digs his nails in and I pull his hair
harder than last time. We're both sitting here in physical pain.
I'm in both physical and emotional pain and I'm the only person
who knows this.

I know how to fix it but…….I can't find it in me to leave.

Tristan Niles has trapped me completely.

There was a time where I was just in his warm embrace but now I'm
just stuck. I can't get out and then again…..I don't want to get
out. He makes me happy and sad. Glad and mad. He makes me want to
die and he makes me want to live. He makes me feel things I've
never felt before.

I want to leave. I want to stay. I didn't understand it. I
probably never will.