Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of
evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene
pool by removing themselves from it.

Dead Spitter
1999 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained
from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to win a high-altitude
spitting contest. The "former" military specialist had a blood alcohol
level of 0.14%, paving the way for a well-earned Darwin Award.

He was so intent on victory - and so drunk - that he attempted to employ
a dangerous and hitherto-untested technique to add momentum to his saliva.
The contender backed away from the window, then hurled himself towards the
metal balcony rail while expectorating.

In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the
railing, which he grasped fleetingly before plummeting 24' to the concrete
below.

There is no report on the status of the payload expelled into the night
sky.

Ethan Vessels
says, "The story of the spitter is true. However, it was not Fort Rucker but Fort Huachuca, Arizona in 1998. The deceased was atteng a Basic Training course. You can call the military police station and ask them to confirm it. The brass tried to keep it quiet so as not to ruin his funeral."