Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Summer is here and as a result, finding time to blog is just not a priority.

Life has taken on some interesting turns at the Kasselmans over the past few weeks. I was asked to fill in at a friends office for two weeks, which I did. Whatever notions I have had about myself being a career girl, are gone. I was. Long ago. Before kids. Before 40. Let me tell you as I schlepped myself home each night I was exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. I was riddled with guilt about my kids being shuttled between friends. I was too tired to cook. Whine, whine, whine. I have an even greater appreciation for those Mom's who do it all. Kudos to you.

But perhaps my longing to be home while at work, was a little too much. Because now I am home and we are in the middle of some, let's say, home improvements and I am ready to be back at work while this happens. We started by simply pulling up carpet in our bathroom and having tile laid. Well you know how these things kinda' grow....well, now we are in process of changing hardware, light fixtures, door knobs, the kids bathroom, stripping wall paper, painting, texturing - all at the same time - ....do you get the picture. One little thing and it has snowballed into my house being a pit. I know the end result is going to be great. But in the mean time, my haven of domestic bliss looks like a wrecking ball has gone to town on it. Anyone looking for a willing employee???

Michaela has been to her first in town service camp with the youth group and now she is away at camp in the PaloDuro Canyon. VBS has come and gone. Father's Day is gone. David is getting ready for a mission trip to Nicaragua. The kids and I are getting ready for multiple (make that 5 in 6 weeks) trips to Abilene for things we need to be at. My niece's wedding is rapidly approaching. Who said the living was easy in the summer?

But let me not forget the trips to the pool, the sno-cones, the late sleeping, the board games, the coloring, the friends over. So much great stuff too!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Larry James' post that I mentioned the other day has me thinking. Spending last year in the book of Mark has had me thinking. This year focusing on Discipleship has me thinking. In fact it has moved way past thinking. God is doing something in me and it is good.

But one of the fundamental questions that I am left with is, "do I trust Jesus?" Do I trust that his way, his life and his instructions are really the best for me. Am I able to read the Sermon on the Mount and know without a doubt that this is the way to life...the road to being fully alive in Christ. Or, am I able to hide my inability to really believe behind busy churchiness, or an attitude of arrogance based on the fact that it is 2007 and life is different now.

I have often wondered about the prayer, "help my unbelief." Seldom have I defined myself as one who "needed" to pray such a prayer. I can look over my life and see my unswerving faith through hard life transitions: death, cancer, overseas move, financial instability. And I have always been honest about the times when the whole "God and church" thing has just seemed too much of a stretch for my mind. I have confessed that kind of doubt and have sought out counsel from my spiritual community to reaffirm my beliefs.

But this is not about that. Most of the time in life I have discovered that, "this is not about that." This has less to do with believing in God and more to do with believing God. God is slowly showing me things about myself and bringing light to my heart and truth is being revealed.

Situations aside, regardless of circumstances, understanding the complexity of people, and considering the life of ministry and just life itself...I want to be the person who believes it really is better to:turn away from pridebury arrogancebe a peacemakerlive out of a heart of compassionseek purity with vigilencehunger and thirst for God aloneendure hardships for the sake of the Kingdomlay aside resentment and anger against othersseek good for all peopletreat people with kindness and gracebe extravagantly generousoffer love and hospitality to those who can not return the favorallow God to be the audience of good deeds, not peopleprayer in silence aswell as with wordsremain still long enough for God to speaklive a life of spiritual disciplinesallow the fruit of a life of disciplines to speak, not the act of the discipline itselfvalue and honor people not thingscelebrate blessings by sharinglive daily for the Kingdomdifferentiate between need and wantdirect all my resources toward living for Jesus and not an earthly secure futurehave the eyes of Jesus to see the best in peoplenot judge another unless I am willing to be scrutinized in the same wayseek God in everythingexpect Him to answer and draw me inabdicate from image controlallow the fruit of my life to witness to Christseek wisdom and discernment

Monday, June 04, 2007

Unaware that David was video taping her, Michaela is singing one of her choir songs with a creative addition or two. She then notices him and asks him to take a picture, still unaware that her choral antics are video taped forever!

Friday, June 01, 2007

The whirlwind that we call May has come and gone and perhaps now I will get to blog again.For now, go to Larry James blog and read his post today (June 1st). Some of the most insightful writing and thinking I have seen in a while.