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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I have a paranormal project that I am trying to raise funds for. It's been just over two weeks so far and I can't seem to generate any funds. I want to take a team out to the location where there is supposed to be a pyramid in Alaska. As it happens, the only thing people know about it comes from interviews from reporter Linda Moulton-Howe (earthfiles.com). My fundraising goals are minimal at $4800 - which the majority is just for transportation to and from the pyramid site. There are no roads to the location (according to maps) and there aren't places to really land a plane, so we have to take a helicopter.

In a big bowl, mix together all of the ingredients until you get a somewhat dry looking dough. You should be able to ball it up with your hands when it's mixed correctly.

I tried using my Christmas Bell cookie cutter, but the dough really didn't want to work that way. I just ended up making balls and squashing them like a regular cookie. If you really want to make shapes, you can try refrigerating the dough for 30 minutes. If you don't want to hurry, then roll into balls and squash!

Place on a baking sheet and pop into the oven for 15 minutes. When they come out, use a spatula to get them off of the baking sheet so they can cool.

Neit gladly taking yet another cookie

I will warn you that Neit, the more vocal of the dogs around here, barked and barked until he got more cookies.

If you want to add some extra stuff to the dough to help your dog out, here are some suggestions:

Thursday, December 17, 2015

I've finished my Christmas shopping and only have one package that I'm waiting on to come in the mail. I've found myself in that weird zone of The Christmas Blahs. I'm not overly excited about Christmas. It just means that I get to leave work early next Thursday and take Friday off for a three-day weekend.

Not sure what I need to do to get myself psyched up. Movies and music? I've watched a few and listen to Christmas music. I tend to just switch stuff to re-runs of X-Files or something, or musically to something else.

I feel like the magic has left.

I saw this picture via facebook the other day (to the left) and I have to agree with Dwight Schrute. Somehow this thought appeases my brain. I personally would prefer a zombie plague to occur.

Wish for magic, but expect a plague. I don't think it's supposed to work like that, but *shrugs* whatever.

Let's see here....Christmas. I made two fruitcake loaves, which I made a post about - shared my recipe. I have a few decorations up. I think I'm pretty much Santa Claus this year since everyone seems to be broke. I'm sure everything will turn sour pretty soon. It's not Christmas unless I end up being some kind of asshole. It happens every year whether I want it to or not. What could it be this year? The fact that someone is getting Slytherin stuff because they're a HP fan who is a little dickweed? Maybe it's going to be the fact that I really don't want to spend a few hours on Christmas attending Christmas dinner and wishing the entire time that I wasn't there. I kind of just want to stay in my pajamas on Christmas, drink coffee, and maybe order a pizza. I would also volunteer to go out on adventures like in the TARDIS or on some archaeological dig or something cool like that.

I know, I know...you make your own path through life. Adventures don't happen unless you make them happen. Maybe I'll get some writing done and get some practice in on my bass, so I'm ready for band practice.

Oh yeah, I got myself into a cover band. I'm new at being in a band. We picked out a few songs that we are going to learn...I think we have 9 right now. I'm a little bummed that all of my suggestions were ignored, but I guess that's how it goes sometimes. I had to download some music because I've never heard Sugar Ray (unless it was on the radio). I don't even know the name of the Sugar Ray song, off the top of my head, that we're playing. It's all on my home PC. I think I came up with a good band name - Undercover. I hope it doesn't get booted like my song suggestions. I'll suggest it when we start practices after Christmas.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the story of Peter Pan. You've either read the book (read it online) or watched some version of the film (more likely). Have you thought about the story beyond what it is at face value? For a long time I didn't, but when I did there were some immediate things that screamed to be addressed.

Peter Pan Is A Psycho
We all know that Peter is a boy who will never grow up. In the book, we learn that children know of Peter Pan and Neverland, but tend to grow up and forget - unless they remember. When Wendy mentions Peter Pan to her mother, her mother doesn't remember at first, but then suddenly remembers hearing about Peter Pan when she was a child. We start to form the idea that Peter Pan has been around for awhile, though we are never quite sure just how long.

We know that he talks kids into going to Neverland with him. Since we perceive him as being a boy, somehow it's okay; if he was an old man, we would think of him as some abductor/kidnapper. Age-wise, he is an old man. He doesn't seem to have any qualms about taking kids, with the hopes of "forever", to Neverland, though he doesn't disclose this to them until they're already in Neverland.

Peter is avidly opposed to grown-ups, aka people with authority. In the book, chapter 1 "He was a lovely boy, clad in skeleton leaves and the juices that ooze out of trees but the most entrancing thing about him was that he had all his first teeth. When he saw she was a grown-up, he gnashed the little pearls at her." He is also opposed to Captain Hook and the pirates.

When Peter makes his first appearance, we learn that he isn't very considerate of others (breaking into the Darling's house and insulting Wendy), he is a braggart throughout the story, and he's an overall jerk to just about everyone.

"Yes," said cunning Peter, "but we are rather lonely. You see we have no female companionship."

What a liar!

When it comes to pirates, Peter really doesn't seem to like them, BUT he also shows us a special side of himself.

"There's a pirate asleep in the pampas just beneath us," Peter told him. "If you like, we'll go down and kill him." "I don't see him," John said after a long pause. "I do." "Suppose," John said, a little huskily, "he were to wake up." Peter spoke indignantly. "You don't think I would kill him while he was sleeping! I would wake him first, and then kill him. That's the way I always do." "I say! Do you kill many?" "Tons."

Whoa! You just brought some new kids to Neverland and the first thing you want to do is go kill some sleeping pirate? Holy shit, dude! That's messed up. It seems as though Neverland will keep you ageless, but mortality is still there - meaning that you can die in Neverland, you might just look as you did for the last 50 years when it happens.

It is tiring being around Peter Pan. We learn this in chapter 5 of the book. When Peter is gone people sleep in, there aren't so many fights going on around the island, things are usually pretty quiet, the animals behave, and the redskins are able to feast without issues. Peter is also massively controlling, which can be tiring in itself. He demands to be the leader and have the last word. He orders the lost boys not to look like him.

Throughout the story, Peter obsesses over Wendy. What does he want her to do when he gets her to Neverland? Chores. That's pretty much it. She happily does it at first, thinking that she's doing them a grand favor, but how long will that last? She also seems to become Peter's property when she reaches Neverland. I'm surprised Peter let's her have a wolf friend in Neverland.

Tinkerbell As A Hero
Tinkerbell is usually seen as a jealous little fairy who changes sides on a whim, but ultimately helps Peter out to save the day. Let's imagine that Peter is a bit of a psycho and Tink knows it. In the beginning of the films and book, Tink is immediately mean to Wendy (who first meets Peter). Could she be trying to make Wendy feel a bit put-off so she doesn't go to Neverland? No matter what Tink says or does, Peter isn't swayed and the Darlings are taken to Neverland.

Tink, at one point, does want the Lost Boys to shoot Wendy ("the Wendy Bird" as the boys call her at this point). Could this be from spending too much time with Peter? Wendy takes an arrow to the chest (actually it gets deflected by her necklace) and the lost boys, Tootles especially, is scared of Peter when they realize they shot a girl and not a bird. Tootles almost pays with his life for this incident. When Tink realizes that she is not dead, she pleads with Peter to leave her alone. Peter again shoves Tink away, seemingly obsessed with Wendy.

As the story progresses, Tink stews over just about everything. She is elated when Wendy tells a story about her actual family and suggests going back to England (with the lost boys). Peter orders Tink to take Wendy. When Wendy tries to get Peter to go along with them, he refuses. This strikes me as a dose of reverse psychology - if they are allowed to go, they will inevitably want to stay.

After the pirates inevitably capture the kids, Tink manages to escape. She heads back to check on Peter, spills the beans to him, and ends up drinking a cup of poisoned water while trying to get him not to go after the others. I tend to wonder if she was really poisoned at all. Maybe the poison used by Hook was something that would poison Peter, but not Tink. All he had to do was clap to bring her back? Yeah. Right. THAT sounds like a little bit of a stretch, but it also sounds like a potential way to control Peter a little.

Does it seem like Tinkerbell tried to get Peter to leave Wendy and the boys alone? She seems to try to get Peter to ignore the regular people, like it's something he does on a regular basis and she doesn't like it. Serial abductor?

Captain Hook
It was Peter to cut off Hook's right hand. He excitedly admits this to Wendy, John, and Michael when they get to Neverland. As Peter and the others are flying into Neverland, Tink lets Peter know that Hook has pulled out Long Tom (a canon on the pirate ship). Instead of Peter getting hit, Wendy gets knocked around a little by the canon ball.

I know that Captain Hook is freaked out by the crocodile. People like to associate the crocodile with death. I get that. I just want to point out that crocodiles are pretty freaky. Have you seen the youtube videos about crocodiles and/or alligators? I would NOT want to be in the water with them. Also, I would be really pissed off if some little jackass cut off my hand and threw it to the crocodile.

Hook's hand wasn't the only thing lost. Hook pretty much lost his freedom with Neverland and Peter Pan. Peter sees him as a great enemy, thusly Hook takes to fighting off the little monster. By chance, Hook and Smee figure out where Peter lives and derive a plan to extinguish the "boy" - pretty much by leaving them a poisoned cake.

Hook and his men manage to capture Wendy, Michael, John, and the lost boys pretty easily when Wendy tries to take them to England. Peter doesn't notice since he's trying to put on aires that he doesn't care about everyone leaving. The pirates take the kids away, but Hook goes back to deal with Peter. He almost gets him while he's sleeping, but Peter's child-like appearance is enough to put-off Hook. This seems to indicate that Hook has some inner turmoil over killing kids. Instead of a direct hit from his hook or sword, he decides to put poison into Peter's "medicine" (it's a cup of water).

Since the kids are all expecting Hook to be an evil monster of a captain, they play it out that way. He asks them if they want to join his crew. The kids all decide to take a long walk off a short plank which is fine with Hook. He does mention "The King" in reference to the King of England, but somehow no one really thinks about that. If they all just joined his crew, would Hook have just tried to leave Neverland to escape Peter Pan? Peter, of course, comes in "to save the day" just as Hook is about to toss the kids overboard.

In the end, Hook gets tossed overboard to the crocodile. Tragically, Hook never gets home which was quite possible. After Hook dies, Peter takes everyone home in the ship. Was Hook just trying to escape the whole time?!

Redskins *Face Palm Masters*
The redskins in the story carry around scalps of the lost boys and pirates that they have taken out. They always struck me, even as a kid, as the people who pretty much stand back and say "I don't want any part of your dumb fight, but if you come over here, I'll hurt you." If anyone in the story is a neutral party, it's the redskins.

Unfortunately for the redskins, Tiger Lily seems to like Peter, so they lean a little more in his favor....though they will still scalp the boys, apparently. Tiger Lily, at one point, gets herself in trouble by spying on the pirates. Peter and the lost boys see the result of this, Tiger Lily being left on a rock while tied up during low-tide. When the tide comes in, she'll be left to drown. It's kind of a shitty thing for the pirates to do, but Peter saves her. When Peter saves her (with Wendy's help), he completely forgets about Wendy for a few minutes.

You may remember that since Peter saved Tiger Lily the redskins have a bit of a shindig to celebrate. Peter is still a jerk to the redskins and asserts himself by saying "Peter Pan has spoken".

Always when he said, "Peter Pan has spoken," it meant that they must now shut up, and they accepted it humbly in that spirit; but they were by no means so respectful to the other boys, whom they looked upon as just ordinary braves.

During the party, no matter what happens, Wendy passively stands by with a "father (Peter) knows best" attitude.

I want to finish this up by letting you know that Peter visits Wendy when she's all grown up. Wendy let's Peter take her daughter. WHAT? Her daughter is apparently returned and her daughter, when she's grown up, lets him take her daughter. It's all just a little creepy.

Monday, December 14, 2015

With winter firmly in place and holiday baking surrounding us, it seems hard to get a handle on remaining healthy during the holiday season. I have 10 tips and recipes that might just help you remain healthy (and NOT pack on extra pounds).

Early Morning Workouts - This isn't feasible for some, but if you can manage it, DO IT! You can get your workout in first thing in the morning and then it's done for the day. You'll feel so much better, you'll feel awake, and you won't have any excuses for not working out at the end of the day. If you workout at home try the Bettie Page Fitness video or Jack Lalanne Workout videos. It only takes 20 minutes a day (of a raised heart-rate) to meet the medical minimum of acceptable workout time. Figure out your calorie burn rate using this exercise calorie burn calculator.

Wonder Soup

Reduce Your Sugar Intake - It is hard to reduce your sugar intake, especially when so many baked items are full of sugar. The easiest way to reduce your sugar intake is to only eat the sugary stuff on the weekends. During the weekdays, stick to whole fruit as a sweet snack or dessert.

A Week of Wonder Soup - Since there is time to do this, take a week and eat Wonder Soup for weight-loss. Here is a good recipe for Wonder Soup. They also let you know what is recommended to go with your soup. Be sure to have a good magazine in the bathroom.

Chia Seed Pudding

Chia Seed Pudding - For breakfast or dessert. 1 TBSP Chia Seeds and 1 TBSP Honey or Agave mixed into 8-10oz Almond or Coconut Milk. Let it set up in the fridge for an hour or until thick. Try mixing in coconut, pineapple, berries, nuts, and other stuff!

More Water! - Water is always a good thing. I have a half gallon jug, that once held orange juice, that I currently use for water. I try to drink at least one jug of water a day (minimum). Water helps to rid the body of toxins, it hydrates, it can help control calories, it helps maintain your muscles, and it improves your bowel functions.

Bake For The Animals - For some of us, it's almost compulsory to bake for Christmas and New Years. If you have pets, you might want to spend some time baking treats for the animals. They will love it and you still get to bake. You still get that feeling of baking for others, but you won't have to worry about those spare calories. Take a look on pinterest for easy dog and cat snacks that you can make!

Butternut Squash

Honey Roasted Butternut Squash with Cranberries and Feta - I found this and it looks AWESOME! I'm going to try it as soon as I get through the leftovers in my fridge. If you make this, please let me know how it is.

Eat Smaller Portions - This is the easiest way to reduce your food intake. Use a smaller plate and make what you eat count! Do you want a plate of potatoes or meat and veggies? This is a simple trick that can help you from over-eating.

Dark Chocolate - Dark chocolate is good for you, or so we're told by Women's Health. Milk chocolate has filler in the chocolate (milk and sugar, etc) and white chocolate is actually a mixture of cocoa butter, milk, and sugar. Go for the darkest chocolate (high cacao percentage) and you'll be good to go! A little goes a long way. Dark chocolate is rich and potent. I really enjoy Ghirardelli 76%, Ghirardelli 82%, and Lindt A Touch of Sea Salt Dark Chocolate. A square or two is enough to pacify my sweet tooth.

Cook more with Superfoods - This is a great time of the year to start cooking with superfoods. Superfoods are particular foods that are incredibly nutrient packed. Some popular superfoods are: pumpkin, kale, pomegrante, salmon, coconut, eggs, walnuts, apples, flaxseed, and oranges. You can do a simple google search to find lists of superfoods. If you want to eat smaller portions, but have things count, this is a great way to do it!

I want to take a moment to share my sadness over Art Bell retiring from his show because some asshole keeps lurking, shooting at his house, and calling via blocked number (harassing him). Be safe Art! Your fans love you!

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I'm an avid talk radio listener and news reader. I haven't made an anti-ISIS post yet, so here it is.

I have been hearing and reading about various incidents that ISIS has done around the world. It makes me so angry! The last time the world had to deal with assholes (I'm talking about WWII) we had a shit ton of anti-Nazi and anti-Communism propaganda. WHERE IS THE ART?

I am not anti-Muslim. I am not a religious person. If you feel that you want to be Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, etc - then hey, that's fine. It's just not my thing. I think it's absolutely RUDE and very inconsiderate to push religion onto other people.

I want to call all angry artists to action. I propose that we each create 1 or 2 anti-ISIS posters, then sell them through cafepress.com, zazzle.com, or something other similar website. I think this is a very easy way to unify the USA and the world.

If you are interested in participating, please let me know. Leave a comment and/or find me on facebook.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

At work the other day, I got a 'zombie outbreak vaccine' mug. Here's what I got from my folks.

The Vincent Price Cookbook!!!!!

Clothing tags for the stuff I sew

Today I'm going to go see 'Krampus' at the cinema with my mom. Should be hilarious!

If I don't post anything else today, then have a safe Krampusnacht! Hopefully you've been good this year...otherwise prepare to be beaten with a switch and taken away - which really needs to happen to a lot of people.

Friday, December 4, 2015

I know this far too well since I was born on December 5th. In my family we have a good handful of people with December birthdays, but I think we all get a little screwed.

This is meant to be a humorous post.

The fight between b-days and Christmas is real

1. You will always have to deal with the holidays, school finals, recitals/Christmas shows, and parties while planning a birthday party.

2. You will always have to deal with the holidays, school finals, recitals/Christmas shows, and parties while planning a birthday party.

3. Your birthday party will always take a back seat to whatever else is going on.

4. A birth date (like December 5th) becomes a counter to and from Christmas. December 5th becomes "20 days til Christmas", December 23rd becomes "the day before Christmas Eve" or "2 days until Christmas", December 26th becomes "The Day After", and December 31st becomes "6 days after Christmas".

5. The "It Counts For Both" Gifts. You December babies know what I'm talking about. These presents count for your birthday AND Christmas.

6. You've read the research on Jesus' birthday actually being in spring/summer months and are a little pissed that people think it's in December - which they always remember while forgetting yours.

St.Nicholas Day card

7. Feeling that you have a little extra say-so in Christmas happenings, since it often tramples your special day, you try to promote weird Christmas traditions like Krampus Night (Dec 5), ridding the home of Kallikantzaros during the Twelve Nights of Christmas (Dec 25-Jan 6), St.Nicholas Day (Dec 6), Blue Christmas/Longest Night/Solstice (Dec 21), Yule Festival (Dec 25-Jan 6), Lucia Day (Dec 13), Saturnalia (Dec 17), and Laurentalia (Dec 23). You also claim that your birthday makes you more apt to celebrate these days.

8. You hate that person who shows up to your birthday party in a Santa hat, no matter how cool you usually think he is.

9. You're okay with MAYBE people remembering at work, the phone call from your folks/family, and spending the night watching netflix and drinking.

10. You go out of your way to make sure that your friends and family who also have December birthdays get something for both their birthday AND Christmas - separate gifts/cards! Both that rock!

While this blog is focused around a gothabilly/50s perspective of life, I should let you all know that I like to go hiking and fishing, I like to have mini-adventures (real ones are far and few), I like to make food, I like art and movies, I like to workout, and so much more.