She doesn’t understand the popularity of Twilight, can’t walk properly in high heels, struggles to speak Starbucks (venti what?), and nearly drowned in the toilet when she was a baby.

Meet Brian Parker.

He’s a star swimmer with a temper and has just hired Jane to be his assistant as he trains for the London Olympics.

Enter the problem.

Jane has developed feelings for Brian which is ridiculous because he has a dog who hates her, he chews with his mouth open, and has a perfect Twilight-obsessed girlfriend named Vanessa who plays Cinderella at Disneyland. Surely her crush can’t amount to anything. Or can it? There was that time when they nearly kissed…..

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I have to believe these other reviews were written by friends of the author or fellow bloggers.

This book is horrid.

It's predictable. The plot is unoriginal and uninspired. The main character isn't likeable -- she's annoying with her constant naivete. She still uses a flip phone. She can't walk in heels. She doesn't know how to dress herself. She doesn't listen to contemporary music. She can't drive well and/or is scared to drive. She's scared of dogs. She's prudish about seeing her boss in a Speedo. Over and over again, we're reminded that Jane is boring and lacks personality. The author seems to have some idea in her head that teachers are lifeless creatures with no interests other than their students.

The writing is terrible, made worse by incessant grammatical errors. There are homophone issues throughout (breaks v. brakes). Pages are littered with comma splices and sentence fragments. Apparently the author believes she can put however many periods she wishes in an ellipsis as though the rules of the English language don't apply to her. It's distracting and disappointing. I realize the author self-published -- spending a little money upfront to have an editor review the manuscript would have gone a long way, particularly if the author is hopeful that this will be her big break into publishing.

There are also basic things wrong that would have been corrected with a little research. The author uses the phrase "iron wrought gate" instead of "wrought iron gate." She also references hearing a dial tone after someone hangs up, but the character was clearly using a cell phone. She uses the phrase Los Angelian to refer so someone who lives in Los Angeles -- the appropriate term is Los Angelite. Good writing should be a blend of research and imagination -- fact-checking is critical.

This dragged on for 490 pages for no reason -- great novels of our time are rarely that long. This certainly didn't need to be. This story could have been told in 250 pages or less.

I've read the author's blog for a while and liked it... For most part. The book, however, I just couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I actually like chick lit. The idea of a fresh, innocent girl getting into cynical celebrity world and actually making a difference there appeals to me. Except that Jane is not fresh and innocent, she is just dumb. It seems that the author thinks that you can work as a teacher in elementary school and never grow up because you work with children. As a teacher myself and a lot of friends who are teachers, I have to say that it is absolutely not true. A teacher is MORE of a grown-up than anyone else, not LESS. You have to know life and how it works in order to be a teacher. So I do now find Jane's character believable at all - crying because her boss scolded her, trying desperately to be liked by everyone, not having set foot in Starbucks in her whole life? (I am not a coffee or Starbucks person, and I don't understand half of the lingo, but I don't know anyone who has never been at Starbucks). Yeah, Jane is not believable, not likable, and just plain annoying. Sorry Amber, try again.

Originally, when I started reading the author's blog a while back and she mentioned (a few times) that she'd written a book, I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know much about it, and the only hint at her writing style was the blog. I will say that I was curious, though. When she announced that it was released, curiosity got the better of me and I downloaded the free sample. I had no intention on reading the whole thing until I finished my current classes and had a break. Still, I decided that there was no harm in reading the sample (which is typically about 10% of the story). I read it. Over all, it was a fairly easy read (the sample) with only one weird thing which I mentioned to the author and I'm sure she's going to fix. After reading the sample (which just stops, mid page), I decided that I had to finish reading it. For-pleasure reading (as opposed to tortured school reading) is only done at night, so it took me a few nights to finish it.

The language wasn't difficult or haughty (lately some of the things I have been reading seem to take perfectly normal speech and then switch it up with awkward words from the thesaurus). The ideas and plot flowed, there was foreshadowing, and there wasn't much in the way of strange wording of phrases (except, of course the previously mentioned one, and then getting a saying backwards (per my notes... I make notes while I read, otherwise I'd not remember what it was that grabbed me at that minute)). It was when Vanessa was speaking (location 14185)... "A moment on the hips, a lifetime on the lips"... however, that might have been intentional seeing as that other than being vindictive, perhaps Vanessa isn't very bright. I didn't think to email the author and ask her about that. Maybe I should?

The story has a lot of different elements that make it feel as if it could be really real. There are fart jokes, lots of product/pop culture placement, and funny tees. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to imagine the characters as the characters, but rather I imagined the author for Jane and her swim-crush as Brian, but that's only because there's a lot of the writer in the main female character. It's not a bad thing, but I doubt that the author actually meant for that to happen. So, of course I got to imagine the author in cartoon cake panties and was scarred for life. Just kidding.

All in all, it's an easy read with good flow, plot development and just enough sweetness to make it work. The only thing I think the author could have done is make there more tension in the build up, but that's a personal preference (what can I say, I like a tortured soul or two). The spelling and grammar was spot-on (which is very important), and it works. The dialogue is realistic, and the characters have just enough details that they're not set in stone, leaving the reader to be able to use their imagination (if they have one, if they don't... I imagine they'd just think of stick people with the generalized characteristics of the characters).

Definitely clean enough, sans some mild language here and there, and a mention of a plastic vagina. No sordid sex scenes, but those would feel out of place in this story. If it were a movie, it'd probably only be a PG-13. I specifically enjoyed that it was a full-length book being treated as a full-length book, instead of a short story. Price point was spot-on, as well, and I would like to see the next book pick up when Jane lands in London. I'm just saying...

I've read the author's online blog for several years. I've always thought of her writing as witty and hilarious. When she announced her book was available for purchase, I immediately jumped on the opportunity to read it. I bought it on a week night and started reading. I can honestly say that I was a little surprised at how quickly I got sucked into the story and the lives of the characters. I laughed a lot while reading this story and even teared up a bit... I read as hard and as fast as I could to find out what was going to happen next.. This was an easy read and the language was easy to understand. I hope there's a sequel sometime because I am dying to know what happens in London and after!!! :)