Alicia Keys Raves About New Motherhood, Just Like Every Other Celebrity

Aw, Alicia Keys is such a radiant, adorable new mom, isn't she? The singer, who recently gave birth to her son Egypt, took to Twitter to express her joy: "There is no word to properly describe LOVE, to describe BLISS, to express a FEELING like this!!!"

She also posted a gushing letter about motherhood on her blog, saying "Every moment is beautiful; delicious even!"

Well, that's just heartwarming, and I'm really happy for her. But here's what I'm sort of wondering: do new Hollywood moms get a special kind of post-birth drug that the rest of us don't know about?

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It's not that I didn't feel overwhelmed by the miracle of birth after my own children were born, because I definitely did. Becoming a parent is a most indescribable life-changing event, but ... well, it's just that every new celebrity mom ALWAYS says the same type of starry-eyed thing about motherhood. For instance:

Ashlee Simpson: "I'm over the moon with joy. Life is a beautiful miracle."

Halle Berry: "I thought I knew love before, but I never knew anything like this.”

Jennifer Hudson: "It is the best feeling in the world. No words can describe it."

Bridget Moynahan: "It's just a joy."

Andrea Roth: " ... we’re deliriously happy! When I brought her home, I was so happy! When she came along, I started thinking about all the people that said it was going to be so hard. I didn’t know what anybody was talking about."

Kelly Rutherford: "Motherhood is my greatest joy in life."

Kourtney Kardashian: “It feels amazing. It’s just so indescribable. You don’t get how good being a parent feels until it happens to you.”

Tiffani Thiessen: "I've never been so happy!"

Okay, just between you and me, I bet all of these quotes were given when their babies were still in that deceptive newborn stage where they sleep all the time and you're like, oh my god, this is SO EASY! Then one day they open their eyes, stretch, and start CRYING AND POOPING, amirite?

Wouldn't it be awesome if just once a Hollywood mom would be all, "My labia is the size of a honeydew and I haven't slept in 2 weeks and my boobs are killing me and I HATE YOU AND YOUR ASS FACE GET THAT MICROPHONE AWAY."

I never thought I'd feel like giving Gwyneth Paltrow a fist bump, but I kind of love her now for this snippet:

Gwyneth Paltrow: "Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I'm so tired!"