2004 At-Risk Survivor

The stupidity displayed by the participants in the
following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards
sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of
their misadventures.

Self-Protection
2004 At-Risk Survivor

(28 November 2004, Idaho) Police found Thomas lying on the floor behind his bar, bleeding from a gunshot wound. A .22 caliber revolver lay on the floor nearby. The cash register was open, but the cash was undisturbed. It appeared that the bar owner had bravely fended off a robbery attempt--but looks can be deceiving!

Actually, the man had brought his gun along for protection when he unloaded the Saturday-night revenue from the cash register. Thomas had trouble getting the register drawer open, so he tucked the gun under his arm and applied a bit more force. The gun slipped, hit the floor, and shot him through the groin, narrowly missing his reproductive organs and his heart before lodging in his right chest cavity.

But at least the cash was safe!

(4 August 2004, Oklahoma) In a similar incident, law enforcement officers called off their search for an escaped prisoner in order to help a gunshot victim. The victim had been carrying a .22-caliber pistol in the waistband of his cut-off jeans to protect himself from an escaped prisoner he had heard about. To be extra safe, he had pulled back the hammer of the gun before putting it into his pants. The gun went off and shot him in the left buttock. The victim admitted that the incident was "one of my most embarrassing moments." The escapee remained at large.