Listen, we’re all for Irish bars. With their classic look, inviting vibe and promise of Guinness-pouring perfection, what’s not to love? But on St. Patrick’s Day, the landscape is a little different. Suddenly a lively watering hole transforms into a madhouse packed with too many bodies and too many spilled shots of Jameson.

Lucky for you, there are plenty of other drinking establishments in town armed with strong whiskey and cold beer — and likely, substantially fewer shamrock-laden patrons whose main goal is to lose the ability to stand by 4 p.m.

Here’s the new plan: First, pick a neighborhood rife with options. Maybe you just want the basics: a TV, a cold glass, someone serving the drinks. Or perhaps you’re looking for something a bit more interesting — a global twist, some craft cocktails, a wood-fired pizza. Whatever the case, you’ll need a couple of bevs. You’ll want some food to soak them up. And possibly a nightcap in the form of something sweet. Hey, the boozy holiday falls on a Saturday this year, so there’s little excuse not to live it up.

We’ve got you. Whether it’s craft brew, hot spots or adventure you’re looking for, we’ve got ideas for bars and restaurants on and off the beaten path, and blueprints for hitting them all, crawl-style. Just don’t lose the ability to stand.

You’re going to need those feet for walking.

Craft beer and spirit snobbery

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NE. Monroe St.

Tattersall

Distilling

18th Av. NE.

Central Av. NE.

Sociable

Cider

Werks

Indeed

Brewing

Co.

Bauhaus

Brew

Labs

NE. Fillmore St.

NE. Broadway St.

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Want to go on a little tour of some of the Twin Cities’ best locally made hooch? Northeast Minneapolis is a great jumping-off point, with a horde of great breweries, cideries and distilleries in the Logan Park area.

Start with a hoppy cider at Sociable, and some tacos or a Cubano from the Red River Kitchen food truck conveniently parked outside. From there, walk south along Northeast Park and head toward Bauhaus Brew Labs for a very Instagram-y environment stocked with top-notch lagers and more. But wait, you’re not done yet. Indeed Brewing Company is just around the corner, boasting an enticing bar manned by cicerone “beertenders.”

And to complete the circle, make a beeline toward Tattersall Distilling which just released its rye whiskey — how timely — that’s available in Manhattans and Old Fashioneds. We can’t think of a more perfect ending.

March Madness

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W. 29th St.

Muddy

Waters

LynLake

Brewery

W. Lake St.

Iron Door

Pub

Harriet Av. S.

Up-Down

Lyndale Av. S.

W. 31st St.

W. 32nd St.

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Um, St. Patty’s Day? More like Gameday. There will be a huge slate of NCAA tournament second-round matchups going down — not to mention Timberwolves and Wild games on the slate — so this crawl is going to need some TVs.

Get things going at Iron Door Pub in Lyn-Lake with one of 24 beers on tap, a plate of the off-menu habañero wings if you dare and a side of TVs-Everywhere-You-Look. Next up: LynLake Brewery for a flight. Moving on, we’re headed to Up-Down, perhaps during halftime of whatever you’re glued to so you can focus your energies on skeeball, Nintendo 64 and life-size Connect Four. Still hungry? Snag a signature mac ’n’ cheese pie from the pizza menu — or hit Muddy Waters down the street for the brownie a la mode.

Comfort & cocktails

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Nicollet Av. S.

Stevens Av. S.

Copper Hen

Eat Street

Social

E. 26th St.

Tilt

Pinball

Bar

Glam Doll

Donuts

W. 27th St.

W. 28th St.

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We live in Minnesota. In March, it’s still a major threat to snow, and if it hits 45 degrees we celebrate like we’ve won the weather lottery. We realize it’s a little sad. So sometimes we just need a big warm hug in the form of some eats and drinks. Eat Street understands. Your journey begins at Tilt, with a little pinball and a chili-cheese hot dog (honestly, have you ever felt so cared for?) followed by the $6 daily punch at Eat Street Social or perhaps the Little Richard (“jazzberry” rum with vanilla cream foam).

Feeling better? Great. Because now it’s time to do like your mama said and get some sugah. Nearby Copper Hen is renowned for its “boozy cakes,” which are served in Mason jars, with a pipette of liqueur. Also on this stretch of Nicollet? Glam Doll Donuts, peddling everything from classic glazed to tres leches mashups and curry-iced dough with spicy peanuts.

On trend

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Al’s

Place

Lowry Av. NW.

Hai Hai

University Av. NE.

Young

Joni

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Using this drinking holiday as an excuse to check out all the new hot spots in town? We’re basically experts, so you’re in good hands. As it turns out, two of the buzziest restaurants in town are eight-tenths of a mile away from each other. OK, it’s a substantial walk, but you’re dedicated, right? First, though, you’re going to need to start with a swanky cocktail.

Al’s Place, the speakeasy with an entrance hidden inside the photo booth at Stanley’s Northeast Bar Room, does that in its sleep. We don’t want to give too much away, but you’re going to have a great time. Then, make your way three blocks south, to Hai Hai for some sugar cane shrimp, papaya salad and gin-infused lychee slushies. Hope you’ve fueled up properly for your stroll. Young Joni’s Korean BBQ pizza and a libation from the alleyway back bar should be all the reward you need.

Around the World

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N. Avon St.

Lafond Av.

N. Victoria St.

Ngon

Vietnamese

Bistro

Los

Ocampo

Univ. Av. W.

Demera

N. Dale St.

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It’s an Irish holiday, we know, but if you wear green and then patronize Ethiopian, Vietnamese and Mexican restaurants, you’ll be a true American — melting pot and all that, ya know? Hope you’re hungry, as there are some serious eats on this St. Paul gambol.

Your starting point is Demera, for Ethiopian beer and lamb tibs with injera, a crêpe-like bread. Move along to Ngon Vietnamese Bistro, practically across the street, when you’re done. Your move is some rabbit dumplings, spring rolls and the lemon basil Negroni. What a day! But there’s more. Have you saved room? It’s taco time at Los Ocampo. Whatever you do, don’t neglect the churros for dessert.

Riverwalk

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N. 2nd St.

N. Main St.

St. Croix

River

N. 3rd St.

The

Velveteen

Brick &

Bourbon

LoLo

American

Kitchen

and Bar

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Stillwater’s Main Street will just about overwhelm with its choices, so you’re free to veer off in any direction, but here’s a good early sketch: Start at Lolo’s American Kitchen & Craft Bar for a bunch of small plates and a glass of wine. Then head to the freshly opened Brick & Bourbon where there’s only one thing that should be on your mind: the Smoking Gun cocktail, which arrives encased in a cake platter filled with smoke.

Where to go from here? How about the Velveteen, another newish addition to the riverside town. This Prohibition-inspired spot touts the ideal finishing touches in the form of delicate libations and salted caramel cheesecake. And that, our friends, is the true pot o’ gold.