Tea Time Links: Pampering the Stressed-Out Kindergarten Set

That Old Write-a-Book-and-Bury-it-for-Discovery-by-a-Mogul Ploy Is the Oldest Trick in the Book
Kathy Hepinstall wrote a book that she wants Oprah to read. So she buried it on a mountain and took out a newspaper ad giving O instructions and a treasure map. If Oprah is half as cool as people think she is, she’ll be on that mountain searching in no time. Or she’ll pay one of her minions to do it. Either way, she should make that happen. (Via Whatevs)

My Nerves Are Just Shot From All These Building Blocks & Monkey Bars & Naps
How do you tell when a child is being pampered and when they’re just living the normal life of a toddler?

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Draw Something… That Proves You Have Way Too Much Free Time

These masterpieces from Draw Something are really amazing. I only wish I would receive one of these from a friend so that I could intentionally guess the wrong words a bunch of times just to really irk them.

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Happy Birthday, Don Rickles
He’s Mr. Warmth and he’s Mr. Potato Head. But more importantly, he’s one of the best insult comics of all time. This video of him taking home the Johnny Carson Award the other night proves why.

Nowhere did Rickles put his sharp wit to better use than in celebrity roasts. He turns 86 today, so take a moment to honor the great legacy of Rickles and other irreverent mudslingers like him.

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Maurice Sendak: The King of All Wild Things
And by now you’ve heard the sad news that Maurice Sendak, the entertaining and acerbic author of Where the Wild Things Are, has passed away. That is why it is absolutely imperative that you watch this two-part interview he did with Stephen Colbert back in January. Be aware that it does contain some slightly NSFW content.

Netflix might know your TV habits better than you do. Recently, the entertainment company's normally tight-lipped number-crunchers looked at user data collected between November 1, 2016 and November 1, 2017 to see which series people were powering through and which ones they were digesting more slowly. By analyzing members’ average daily viewing habits, they were able to determine which programs were more likely to be “binged” (or watched for more than two hours per day) and which were more often “savored” (or watched for less than two hours per day) by viewers.

They found that the highest number of Netflix bingers glutted themselves on the true crime parody American Vandal, followed by the Brazilian sci-fi series 3%, and the drama-mystery 13 Reasons Why. Other shows that had viewers glued to the couch in 2017 included Anne with an E, the Canadian series based on L. M. Montgomery's 1908 novelAnne of Green Gables, and the live-action Archie comics-inspired Riverdale.

In contrast, TV shows that viewers enjoyed more slowly included the Emmy-winning drama The Crown, followed by Big Mouth, Neo Yokio, A Series of Unfortunate Events, GLOW, Friends from College, and Ozark.

There's a dark side to this data, though: While the company isn't around to judge your sweatpants and the chip crumbs stuck to your couch, Netflix is privy to even your most embarrassing viewing habits. The company recently used this info to publicly call out a small group of users who turned their binges into full-fledged benders:

To the 53 people who've watched A Christmas Prince every day for the past 18 days: Who hurt you?

Oh, and if you're the one person in Antarctica binging Shameless, the streaming giant just outed you, too.

Netflix broke down their full findings in the infographic below and, Big Brother vibes aside, the data is pretty fascinating. It even includes survey data on which shows prompted viewers to “Netflix cheat” on their significant others and which shows were enjoyed by the entire family.