Forum » Tag: Paxman - Recent Postshttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=paxman
The NewsBiscuit Communityen-USTue, 03 Mar 2015 19:06:07 +0000http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2qhttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php
Wrenfoe on "Paxman's Newsnight resignation explained"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75689#post-221176
Thu, 01 May 2014 11:36:27 +0000Wrenfoe221176@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Too plausible :D
</p>pinxit on "Paxman's Newsnight resignation explained"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=75689#post-221172
Thu, 01 May 2014 11:19:36 +0000pinxit221172@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>A BBC insider has let slip the real reason as to Newsnight stalwart rottweiler Jeremy Paxman's announcement to quit the late-night news programme.</p>
<p>"It's a masterstroke. We've killed two high profile birds with one stone," he said, "And Tess is thrilled. She's always wanted to be taken seriously."</p>
<p>"Jezza will ensure the 'strictly' is firmly put back into the title. Watch out for the big announcement soon!"</p>
<p><a href="http://s830.photobucket.com/user/pinxit2/media/Satire/paxo_strictly_nb_zpseb60aac6.jpg.html"><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/paxo_strictly_nb_zpseb60aac6.jpg"></a>
</p>deceangli on "Cerne Abbas Giant "Just Looks Normal To Me", says Paxman"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=68629#post-200998
Sat, 02 Nov 2013 13:55:58 +0000deceangli200998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Following pictures showing the Cerne Abbas giant with a Movember moustache, Jeremy Paxman has declared the chalk giant to be "if anything, a little under-endowed. If I came home with an erection that ordinary, my wife would be very disappointed".</p>
<p>Since the recent demotion of Ross Kemp to Cockney Cuckold, Paxman has risen to the Number One TV Hardman slot, a position he intends to retain. "I'm the daddy, and don't you forget it. If Kemp wants the top slot back he's going to have to meet me in the University Challenge carpark and show me what he's got".</p>
<p>Paxman is believed to have sired more than 300 love children, some simply by looking at the mother "in a certain way".
</p>Scronnyglonkle on "Cameron forgets to remember"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40969#post-116585
Mon, 02 Apr 2012 11:10:00 +0000Scronnyglonkle116585@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Enjoyed the end has given me an idea, don't you just love plagarism!
</p>medici2471 on "Cameron forgets to remember"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40969#post-116582
Mon, 02 Apr 2012 10:43:00 +0000medici2471116582@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Prime Minister David Cameron took time out from his Easter holiday today to mark the 30th anniversary of the start of the Falklands War.</p>
<p> "Today is a day for commemoration and reflection: a day to remember all those who lost their lives in the conflict,the members of our armed forces."</p>
<p>In a pre- recorded interview, Jeremy Paxman asked a bemused Prime Minister to name one of the heroic casualties.</p>
<p>“Come on Prime Minister, you ask us to remember the fallen but you can’t even remember the name of a single one of them?”</p>
<p>“Well, erm, there was that corporal, corporal Jones, was that the name? Terrible burns to the face when he was aboard the Belgrano I believe. But he survived, I saw him the other day, hasn’t changed a bit”
</p>FlashArry on "Scientific breakthrough turns out to be animated movie sequel"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38964#post-110556
Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:31:40 +0000FlashArry110556@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>stars - played sir. Or madam. The light's very dim in here
</p>lucas on "Scientific breakthrough turns out to be animated movie sequel"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38964#post-110486
Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:25:56 +0000lucas110486@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Scientists at The Institute of Cell Biophysics were left red-faced today after their successful resuscitation of a 30,000 year old fruit plant turned out to be the latest instalment of animated blockbuster series "Ice Age".</p>
<p>Concerns were raised about the revelation's validity by BBC after numerous failed attempts to secure an exclusive interview with the ICB Director of Research, as Kirsty Wark later revealed:</p>
<p>"At first I thought they were hardballing us, playing hard to get in an attempt to start a bidding war" The Newsnight empresaria said. "However it soon became apparent that our contact details for the ICB included, and were in fact limited to, the name 'Sid'. Fatally, we assumed it was an acronym Sciences Itellectual Leader".</p>
<p>The gaffe was eventually uncovered when closer scrutiny of the grainy footage of the expedition revealed it to be a feature-length animated children's film, also available in 3D.</p>
<p>BBC chiefs, apparently unperturbed by the setback, released a statement claiming they would continue to pursue the story in an attempt to uncover the truth. The statement concluded:</p>
<p>"Jeremey Paxman will be interrogating a squirrel-suit-laden Ray Romano tonight, as originally scheduled. Anything less would be a gross dissipation of tax payers money."</p>
<p>(Based on: <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17100574)" rel="nofollow">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17100574)</a>
</p>Alixir on "Thompson: More programmes, less quality"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17854#post-48204
Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:13:39 +0000Alixir48204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Good point. Headline should have been BBC to introduce happy-slapping reality based tv.<br />
(Watch this space)
</p>brownpaperreporter on "Thompson: More programmes, less quality"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17854#post-48105
Mon, 06 Dec 2010 10:21:52 +0000brownpaperreporter48105@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>isnt that what we have now?
</p>Alixir on "Thompson: More programmes, less quality"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17854#post-48083
Sun, 05 Dec 2010 21:18:25 +0000Alixir48083@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>The freezing of the licence fee for the next six years will result in more repeats, dross reality tv, and mobile uploads in order to "give a ITV a fighting chance to achieve better viewer ratings", Mark Thompson says.</p>
<p>The corporation's director general told BBC One's Andrew Marr show the deal, announced in October, was in line with the coalition's "Big Society" concept. He added "I think we'll be inviting the public to send in their own programmes, too - it's television, made for them, and by them". </p>
<p>It's thought the reduced quality will give ITV the chance to achieve viewer-ratings that are almost in the same league as the BBC's. "We've bullied ITV for too long", he added. "First we fogged them off with Des Lynam, then Adrian Chiles, we were going to offload John Craven, but John revealed he had an infinity-clause in his contract created when he was at Newsround".</p>
<p>Thompson initially refused to answer whether happy-slapping mobile-upload films would be broadcast. But Marr threatened to invite Jeremy Paxman, who could be heard huffing off-camera. It was then Thompson's tone changed, and he started crying like a bullied child being given chinese burns. "YES, OK!" he screamed. </p>
<p>The Andrew Marr show are still unsure to what precisely he was agreeing.
</p>Scroat on "Humphrys and Paxman hit out at bullying in politics"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=85#post-296
Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:58:11 +0000Scroat296@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>More soon
</p>