On Friday, Kanye poked fun at Spears by lampooning his infamous Taylor Swift-interrupting rant on Twitter. Britney Spears camp did not find that funny at all, no sir. Kanye later deleted the Tweet. WHY CAN'T WE LET KANYE BE GREAT?

Kanye's original Tweet read, (awesomely),

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Yo Britney, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you be #1, but me and Jay-Z's single is one of the best songs of all time! LOL

Britney's camp responded with something dumb and not-funny, which isn't surprising considering the fact that Britney's new single is dumb and not-good, and while some may be baffled by this, I'm not. Her camp is simply moving on to the next phase of their grand Crappy In 2011 plan: 1. Release subpar music. 2. Don't have a sense of humor about it. 3. ???, 4. PROFIT. [E!]Owen Wilson and his girlfriend welcomed a baby boy. You know, I don't really pay attention to Owen Wilson's career, but the fact that he's having babies: I respect that. [WaPo]Lady Gaga has claimed that a leaked track purported to be from her as-yet-unreleased new album is a fake. Everyone resume your hand-wringing anticipation for what will undoubtedly rival only Ke$ha for excessive radio airtime this summer. [Digital Spy]True Grit star Hailee Steinfeld asked Glee star Lea Michele for an autograph and was reportedly snubbed. Steinfeld later defended Michele, chalking the "snub" up to "bad timing." Sounds like Lea acted like a True Shit. [Digital Spy]Christian Slater, the worst actor ever, gets to sit in Captain Kirk's chair on the set of his new probably crappy TV show. [ONTD]Betty White, America's Official Recipient Of All Affection Toward The Elderly and the antithesis of that creepy old guy from that terrifying Six Flags commercial, is celebrating her birthday this week by doing things that young people will declare awesome. Meanwhile, millions of grandparents wait by the phone and wonder why you never call. [TMZ]
What the world needs now in these troubled times of uncertainty is a new Paris Hilton reality show. Thank goodness the sure-to-be-posthumously-beatified completely self-made millionaire will be once again gracing our living rooms with her presence. In an upcoming episode, she will be visiting a porn studio and acting all Kardashiany and confused by pornography, like she isn't famous in part due to the fact that a lot of people saw her having sex on a video tape. I know this because Congress recently passed the "All Female Celebrities Who Are Famous Because of Sex Tapes Must Act Prude And GiggleGiggle Confused By Sex Henceforth Act" (nicknamed The Kim Kardashian Act) and if Paris doesn't abide by the law, she could be prosecuted. [TMZ]Kristie Alley launched an ALL CAPS anti-Charlie Sheen rant on Twitter, requesting he stop hanging out with PORN STARS and HOS. Because the LOUDER you TYPE, the RIGHTER you ARE. JUST ASK YOUTUBE COMMENTERS. MENSA MEMBERS, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. [The Daily Mail]David Beckham claims in a 5 page court document that he did not sleep with a $5000 a night prostitute. I'm not sure why it took 5 pages to deny the charges, but my theory is that either he made the font really really big or he wrote a Green Eggs And Ham-style refutation of the itemized charges: "I would not, could not on a plane, or in a car, or in the rain. I would not fuck her here or there. I did not fuck her anywhere." [The Daily Mail]Victoria Beckham is going to have the new baby Beckham in the US, and it will be named something awesome. My favorite reader suggestion thus far: Victoria Junior. [Digital Spy]
I guess Lauren Hill sucked at her Atlanta concert last night, prompting some disappointed concertgoers to walk out. Has she forgotten everything that Sister Mary Clarence taught her? [Bossip]Khloe Kardashian dyed her hair back to brunette. I yawned and looked at my watch, eyes reflexively glazing over at the mention of a Kardashian. [US]Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were in a room unsupervised together. Obviously doing it! [Perez]Simon Cowell says Simon Cowell is nice. So nice. Why don't you come into his house and visit? It's made of delicious gingerbread. Do you know any children? Bring them! They will love the gingerbread in nice, nice, nice Simon Cowell's house. Yes, that's it, children. Come to Simon with your meaty, tender selves and get nice and fat. [Contact Music]Christian Bale says he owes his success to his wife and partner of 10 years. Uh, Christian? I'm pretty sure you owe it to this:

He asked Santa Fe to never forget him, and yet he has clearly forgotten Santa Fe. For shame, Christian Bale.
[Digital Spy]Britney Spears went to the bathroom at McDonalds. Don't Hold it Against Her. [Just Jared]
Black Eyed Peas singer APL.DE.AP is blind due to a rare genetic eye disorder. I'll forgo making an in-poor-taste joke about the Black Eyed Peas making me wish I were deaf and instead invite readers to reflect on the fact that we live in magical times when people whose names are actually stock portfolios can find success in music. [Star]Justin Bieber is afraid of Ricky Gervais and thus is going to use Zac Efron as a human shield joke-deflector at the Golden Globes tonight. [Digital Spy]