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Once in a while, I have the pleasure of driving behind a car with a bumper sticker that reads “Have a Quincy day”. Having been raised in Quincy, this means more to me than just spending my day in Quincy. I want to share with you guys, what exactly a “Quincy day” means to me.

Get fast food…twice. Quincy has more than 1 of each fast food restaurant. This is great, because when the Southern Artery Wendy’s fucks up your order, you can say, “Next time let’s go to the other Wendy’s, this Wendy’s sucks.” So many options in Quincy.

Go to APrime and have a familiar face/jheri curl pump your gas. Everyone knows this guy, but does anyone know his first name? I’m pretty sure we can all agree on a few things, this guy is a dick, he looks like Lionel Ritchie, he works at 9/10 gas stations in Quincy, & he has a faux Adidas shirt called Badidas that he wears every single day. Brothers? Or is Lionel just a stage name?Judge for yourself.

Go to 7-11….10 times. Yes, there are about 10 different 7-11’s in Quincy. Each 7-e represents a different turf, from West side to Wollaston. So many options for your drug transaction to go down. Just don’t go to the Quincy ghetto, Germantown does NOT have a 7-11. Sorry, guess you need to get your blunt wrap elsewhere.

Visit Historic Downtown Quincy for some Quincy nightlife. So many bars, so little time before last call. Better hurry up drunky, or Peggy O’s is in your near future. Stop by one of the McDonald’s on the way home.

Take a long stroll on Wollaston Beach with your significant other. In the mood for some romance and maybe some fried clams? Head to the the scenic Wollaston beach. Just don’t go for a swim, and don’t go barefoot in the sand. You might get pricked by a hypodermic needle – yikes!

Hit up Marshall’s or TJ Maxx for some cheap finds. It’s hit or miss, but don’t feel bad if you strike out… there’s a Burger King and Wendy’s nearby if you don’t find anything. Check out this great find:

Cook out in your friend’s backyard. Throw a Quincy style bash in your friend’s back yard. Who cares if your friend isn’t home. Fuck it, let’s grill up some Bubba burgers, play flip cup, and drink too much cheap beer. I’ll bring the tostito’s and con queso, you bring the blow. Just kidding guys, no blow at this BBQ. The only upper allowed here is Red Bull, you crackhead.

Hit the boardwalk: Let’s pretend we’re classy! Marina Bay it is! Marina Bay in the summer is the best spot to be. I could gaze at that crystal clear water forever…

Pretend that Commonwealth is a part of Randolph or just disregard it’s existence entirely:Let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist, and maybe it will go away. What the fuck is the Commonwealth? Don’t you mean the old Pat Flanagan’s? Because the only commonwealth I know is the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Yeah. That’s what I thought! If you want to dance, go to The Palace.

Take in a flick: If it’s open for business, take in a flick for a buck at the Wollaston Theater. The best part is that Catch Me if You Can has been playing for about a decade now, in case you missed it! Not sure I recommend that popcorn though.

Learn something: I don’t know what Ken’s Learning Center is, but it’s in North Quincy across from Hannaford’s supermarket and if you find out, I’ll buy you whatever your heart desires off the Wendy’s dollar menu. Oh, and tell Ken I’m on to him. Sketch.

Drink in the woods: Venture out into the depths of the Quincy marsh. Explore wildlife, get muddy, jump shopping carts, swing on a rope swing, start a fire up, get shitfaced. It’s a rite of passage for young adults around here. Get three heads on a thirty pack and you’re in! Just make sure it’s not high tide or you’ll miss curfew, & if the cops come, don’t hide with me you obnoxious drunk. If the cops don’t come maybe you’ll have a chance of getting some action for once in your life.

Now you know the Quincy lifestyle. So what are you waiting for? I don’t care if it’s Monday…go have a Quincy day! You’re an animal!