So,what awesome cheap guitar moves have you pulled on stage? I’m a horrible guitar player, but I can wow a crowd with some flash, flair, and goofy-looking guitars. I’m guilty of the checked following…

Dancing E.

☑ Playing behind the head.
☑ Playing while squatting with guitar in between knees, reaching arm through legs from behind.
☑ Playing while falling/laying down.
☑ Dropping-trou and continuing to play.
☑ Playing on knees bending back until head almost touches the ground.
☑ Sad 80’s dance move with shuffling feet while playing.
☑ Playing on chairs.
☑ Playing on tables.
☐ Playing on the bar.
☑ Walking outside & in another door if possible with a wireless.
☑ Sitting in a seat with a wireless.
☑ Stage-diving.
☑ The Chuck Berry/Angus Young walk.
☑ Switching instruments mid song.
☐ Using a beer bottle as a slide.
☑ Using a mic stand as a slide.
☐ Blowing bubblegum bubbles. (Like Doyle.)
☑ Drinking mid song.
☑ Injuring a band mate by accident. (I chipped the lead-singer/bass player’s tooth.)
☐ Injuring a band mate on purpose.
☑ Improvising a mic stand out of duct tape, a hockey stick, & gatorade bottles. (Hey, we were playing at a dek-hockey rink.)
☐ Playing on someone’s shoulders.
☐ Playing while someone is on your shoulders.
☑ Playing from behind a wooden bear statue with the guitar on the front of the bear.
☐ Putting a lit cigarette under the strings in the headstock.
☐ The amp-hump. (Like Jimi.)☑ The guitar-as-a-phallic-symbol air-hump. (Like Rex from the Lone Rangers in Airheads.)
☐ The guitar toss – Badass edition. (Like Prince – also, check out the falling into the crowd move!!!)
☐ The guitar toss – Oops edition. (Like Prince with the borrowed Epiphone or Krist Novoselic on MTV.)
☐ The guitar toss – Someone else catches & starts playing.
☐ Smoke-bombs. (Like Ace Frehley.)
☐ Set Fire to the guitar. (Like Jimi.)
☐ The windmill. (Like Pete.)
☑ The powerslide.
☑ The failed powerslide.
☐ Swinging from the rafters. (Hard to do while actually playing? This dude did it.)
☐ The “‘round the world” spin.
☐ The failed “round the world” spin.
☑ Yelling out a second story window mid-set for people to come into the bar.
☐ The “nyah-nyah you can’t see me” EVH turn-around.
☐ The flying karate kick.
☑ On the knees.
☐ On top of a piano. (Like Slash.)☑ Dancing with the crowd.
☑ Duel of the Fates – using another musician’s fretboard as a slide.☑ The salute – All in the air.
☑ The Poison-ish choreographed lean.
☑ Lean on a bandmate.
☑ Lean into a bandmate.

I know there are more. I know photos & videos exist of some of these with me. I know this post can get goofy. Please, I implore you to share your moves, including videos, animated gifs, and photos in the comments! This kind of stuff is hilariously entertaining to me.

What’s your favorite to do? What’s your favorite to watch? What have you copied? What have you invented? What did I miss on this list? Share your stories and images and favorite stuff from your favorite performers!

Like this:

This ties in with an earlier blog post. I’m just trying to figure out how to reach people. When people who have never heard of us catch us play, we generally have people coming up to say they dig it. It’s a good feeling. I’d like it to happen more often because I think the band is doing a fun thing, and I’d like more people to share in the fun.

Getting people to come out in the first place is one struggle. Getting yourself in front of an audience that’s already there is another struggle. Getting people to watch you once they’re there seems to be an entirely different struggle.

Has this ever happened to you? Yes, it has.

Lately I’ve seen a trend of bands telling people saying “hey we’re 1st, come early” or “hey we’re last, come late” then their fans show up for just them & don’t bother to check anyone else out. I generally tell people to come for the whole show & check out the other bands. We try to book shows with bands we dig, just for this reason.

Spider-Man:: This has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that I found it hilarious.

I hate to come of as a whiner, and I know I will to some readers. I’m just trying to express my frustrations, and this blog is a forum for just that. In fact, it’s my forum for just that. I’m trying to work it out for myself & to possibly get some insight from other local (and some not so local) musicians.

In fact, I think I have ranted about this very topic online before, maybe just a similar one… but I can’t seem to find it anywhere.

I also don’t want to dismiss the people that come see us at just about every show. Your presence is incredibly important to us, and we value it. We just want some more people there to watch with you, and we don’t want things to get stale where you’re seeing the same show over & over. Even if you’ve only caught us once, or if you’ve bought a T-shirt, or told us you liked a video online… you are awesome and we truly appreciate your support & attendance.

I recently saw the worst case ever of this crazy only-watch-the-band-with-a-guy-I-know-in-it thing going on. We played a show where people watched the band they came to see, then just absolutely bailed. Not even the bands stuck around to check out the other acts, one of which was a touring act & the reason we were all playing the show. It’s disrespectful. I get that stuff comes up, & sometimes you need to go. It happens. Sometimes there’s burnout. Sometimes there’s arrogance. Sometimes there are good reasons. Sometimes you’re just being ignorant.

I know personally that a bunch of people from my wife’s family came out to a show at a bar once where my wife & I absolutely love the wings. We had told everyone how cool the place was, they all decided to come to the ‘Burgh to eat some legendary wings & watch my band play… killing 2 birds with one stone. They sat through one band that everyone liked, then through a 2nd band that was just absolutely awful… one member was so drunk and/or high that he would strum the guitar and look down at it dazed for a minute or so while apparently hearing stuff that none of the rest of us could. This was all endured just to see us play. The place was packed all night, the bands & their fans watched each other, and everyone had a good time.

Not to judge a book by its cover, but I all kinds of judged books by their covers the other night and I hit the nail on the proverbial head. A quick scan of the room revealed some crazy demographics. More specifically a bunch of old people trying to look cool and standing on tippy-toes watching their kid play with no general comprehension of what was going on up on the stage or around them. If I’m calling them old, you know they were old. We knew these were parents, aunts, uncles, and neighbors… and they were going to split as soon as their kid’s bands was done. Boy, did they ever. If it was a cartoon, there would have been a cloud of dust & a cartoon noise. Whoop!

It must be happening everywhere because the touring band had it written into their contract that they weren’t to be slated to play last on any of their shows. You can’t blame them. You tour to build support for your album, and if no one sees you play, no one’s going to buy your album or you merch or come see you the next time you roll through town. We took the cleanup/closer spot because none of the other bands would.

Do you know what it's like to be on the bill and to play for fifteen minutes and the only people there to see you are the other bands and their girlfriends? Don't talk to me about Rock n' Roll! I'm out there in the clubs and on the streets and I'm living it!I AM ROCK N' ROLL!

We didn’t help their cause because we apparently weren’t a draw either. We watched the touring band, & they watched us. The handful of people that came to see us were there for all of the sets that night… and the show started an hour or so later than it was supposed to. It was awesome that the touring band actually stuck around to see us play. I’m sure on the road they’ve seen crappy band upon crappy band night after night… but it was an unparalleled show of respect for us, and assured us that the sound guy & doorman had to stick around until we were done. Ha ha.

Playing their new hit, ''Girl Girl Girl''!

Well, there were more people there to watch us… since it was a rare all-ages gig for us, we had an under-ager and her mom eager to see us… we were told we’d be rocking about 8:00pm. We eventually went on much much later, way past the under-ager’s bed time. So, two people who bought tickets & came out expressly to see us had to leave early and were unable to see us because of all the ridiculousness and shuffling. Then the dozens of people who came out to see the other bands watched them then left. Immediately.

Try as he might, Jeremy could just not meditate in front of a stereo. Live music is the only way to go.

It would be nice to say that whoever sold the most tickets had to go last… but then again, they did sell a lot of tickets, so that has a certain amount of pull as far as when you want to go on.

Before you say that my band sucks (you’re certainly entitled to your opinion), I’ll say that no one who left early would know, because they didn’t even give us a chance. I’d rather clear the room myself than have it cleared for me. How do you expose people to your live show, if the people in the place don’t even stick around for one song?

I’m sure you have a grasp of your influence in the musical world, and on guitar players everywhere. We look to you for not only inspiration as far as the most devastating guitar riffs on the planet, but also as a musician who’s resolve soldiered his band triumphantly through many decades. I have read countless stories of your humility & friendliness. I have several members of my family & great friends who have triumphed over the odds with various forms of cancer. I have no doubt that the prayers, thoughts, and general good vibes of millions of fans, friends, family, and your brothers from Black Sabbath will only serve to strengthen your own personal iron will to defeat this disease and come out a stronger man.

Your music helped me learn to play the guitar, and whenever any people get together to jam for the first time, inevitably someone starts playing a Sabbath song, then another, then another… I owe you a great many good times, sir. I will pray for your health, pray for strength for your family & friends, & pray for guidance to the medical team entrusted with your care so that you may continue to have many more good times yourself.

While amusing, their bar gig timeline runs completely different from one that I’d put together. I’d like to make my own, maybe a little less jaded. There’s several subsets of bar-gigs, and it depends wholly on the bar, the type of band, and the crowd.

Before I do that, I’d like to see yours.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a band, just a person who goes to shows… or even the bar, promoter, or the sound guy. I’d like to see the timeline from all parties involved. If your drummer can read, is he tired of the drummer-bashing?