“Dan, the tribe has spoken please pack up your play books, you’ve been voted off the island”.

Let me start by getting this out-of-the-way now: Dan Campbell’s ticket out of Miami has almost certainly been punched after the Dolphins suffered a 31-24 loss to the New York Giants Monday; this loss has now mathematically eliminated the Dolphins from a chance at the last remaining wild-card spot in the AFC.

Mondays Night’s throwback to the past (which included a tribute to the Dolphins’ 50 best players) was a reminiscing, deplorable and flat out uncomfortable reminder of just how mighty the Dolphins were throughout the 1970’s and into the 90’s, to the sad state of this team in the 2000’s. The once feared and ferocious Dolphins have aged into no more than a lifeless, untalented porpoise gasping for air in the shark infested AFC East.

In the theory of Murphy’s quantum law, “anything that can, would have, or will go wrong, is going wrong all at once”. . This theory applies to the many mistakes the Dolphins made Monday, which include, but are not limited to: the overuse of Jarvis Landry, the underuse of Lamar Miller, poor guard play, penalties, fumbles, dropped passes, overthrown and under thrown passes (catch breath) missed tackles, clock management, bad coverage, awful run stopping, overheated players, and diarrhea.

Monday’s playoff elimination marks the seventh season the Dolphins have not only missed a playoff berth, but also the seventh season the Dolphins have not been able to accomplish finishing with a winning record.

In honor of Monday night and its television broadcasts, here’s what you missed watching MNF.

Miami Dolphins, we are sorry, but you did not get a chair to turn.

Stephen Ross, your application for Extreme Makeover has been reviewed and accepted. Our makeover team feels the Miami Dolphins are most deserving of a complete facelift next season. Host Sam Saboura will be contacting you soon with more details.

THE GOOD

Lamar Miller– Miller did the most he could with his 12 carries, averaging 7.4 yards per carry and finishing the night with 89 yards and two touchdowns. Miller also made the ESPN highlight reel with his beautiful 38-yard cutback touchdown, in which the Dolphins runner eluded several tackles with some nifty moves for the score and an early 14-10 Dolphins lead.

Jarvis Landry– Landry, who has been Miami’s “Mr. Everything” this season, did little to disappoint the home crowd in “the battle of the LSU roommates”. The man they call Juice finished with a game high 11 receptions for 99 yards. Landry also showed off his excellent kick returning skills finishing with 96 return yards.

The Bad

Dion Sims and Jordan Cameron– Monday night marked yet another game in which the Dolphins tight ends did little to establish that they can be playmakers in Miami. Cameron, who led the Dolphins tight ends in yards , finished with a minuscule three catches for 35 yards; that is his third highest yardage total this season. Cameron also dropped a crucial catch late in the 4th, which could have put the Dolphins in red zone territory. Play like this is inexcusable for one of the highest-paid tight ends in the NFL.

As for Sims, his early fumble helped put the Giants on the board first early in the first quarter. Sims’s also dropped a well-thrown ball that could have been taken to the house on the next offensive drive.

The Ugly

Dolphin’s secondary-Miami secondary was flat out terrible against the Giants, having their worst game of the season. Grimes, who was virtually invisible to Eli Manning, gave up on an audacious 166 yards and two touchdowns to Odell Beckham Jr., which was only the tip of the iceberg. Little Manning completed 27 of 31 for 377 yards and four touchdowns.

This gem above sums up the Dolphins night, as a miscommunication between Jamar Taylor and Reshad Jones led OBJ down the field 84 yards for a touchdown that sealed the Miami Dolphins playoff fate.

Penalties– According to teamranking.com, the Miami Dolphins rank among the league’s worst in penalty yards per game (67.3). Monday night’s game made this stat much more relevant, as Miami finish the game with 12 penalties for 123 yards. Penalties like Jarvis Landry’s unsportsmanlike conduct have plagued this team all season, showing you can get under this team’s skin due to a lack of discipline and maturity.