Theater Hires Ninjas To Silence Noisy or Texting Patrons (Basically)

Ok, so you know those spandex full body suits? The ones that at least one dude is wearing at every con, usually in a shade of I’m-invisible-to-green-screen neon green? Well, apparently this is what happens when you are the owner of a business that runs on selling those suits in all manner of shades and styles, and you decide that you’re fed up with annoying people in the movie theater, and you’re not going to take it anymore.

I’m a big fan of going to the cinema, but there’s an unspoken code of conduct when you’re watching a movie that some people just don’t understand. Then when some fans were discussing being ninjas in their Morphsuits on our Facebook page I had a eureka moment. I thought I’d find a cinema and see if we could bring a light hearted taskforce to the aid of movie fans.

And that’s why London’s Prince Charles Cinema now features people in black Morphsuits who hand out in theaters and descend swiftly on those who flaunt moviegoing etiquette. Their only payment is getting to see the movie free. /Film got this eyewitness testimony:

I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and give me and my mates a warning to shut up. It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film.

Sorry, Mr. Lawson, that’s not “light hearted.” That’s terrifying. Well, okay, those folks are probably polite and friendly, and not overtly trying to be any scarier than being dressed in all black and having no face would make them, but man. I would leave my phone at home rather than run the miniscule risk of somehow losing my right mind and trying to check the time and getting approached by someone in a black Morphsuit in a dark theater.