(JWR) ---- (http://www.jewishworldreview.com)
SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW: "Free ride in a police car for shoplifters."

For all those people who claim that they don't know anybody who has ever
been called by a poll, I have been called -- and I hung up. So do a
significant percentage of all people who are called. How that throws the
results off we will never know.

Would you bet your paycheck on a weather forecast for tomorrow? If not,
then why should this country bet billions on "global warming" predictions
that have even less foundation?

Announcement card from a reader: "In case of atomic attack, the Supreme
Court ruling against praying in this school will be temporarily suspended."

An aging human body is all too much like an aging automobile. This week the
carburetor needs repair, next week the transmission starts acting up, then
the spark plugs need replacing. And then, even after everything is taken
care of, the acceleration is never the same as it once was.

One of the songs that saddened me most as a child was: "I don't want to
play in your yard, I don't like you any more." The older I get, the sadder
that song has become.

Don't you hate dealing with people who won't listen to what you say, but
instead try to figure out what you "really" mean?

It is amazing how much you can get done, if you will just do it, instead of
wringing your hands about it.

Why do boxers who have made millions keep on fighting into their thirties,
despite growing evidence of the long-term damage to the brain? These guys
should retire somewhere and count their money, while they are still able to
count it.

Why is there so much effort being put into trying to find intelligent life
on other planets, when there is a serious question about how much
intelligent life there is here?

Some people seem to think that my views are "tough." I'm not tough. Life is
tough --- and I am just trying to get people to recognize that.

Eyesight seems to be the only physical thing that improves with age -- and
only for those who were near-sighted when they were young.
Bumper sticker on a van in Berkeley: "Thank you for not breeding."

If Hillary Clinton runs for the Senate in New York, it will be a great
thing for the country. Her likely opponent, New York's mayor Rudolph
Giuliani, is not one of those mealy-mouthed Republicans who is always on the
defensive. He will tear into Hillary like a pit bull and expose her as being
as corrupt and fraudulent as her husband --- and the Democrats will not be
able to say that it is all about sex.

When a highly successful leader retires after a long career, it is very
unlikely that his successor will be of comparable caliber. Anyone of similar
ability and drive would have gone somewhere else, instead of waiting in the
wings for years for a chance to show his own leadership.

If the Clinton scandals have accomplished nothing else, their accompanying
"spin" has revealed to us which individuals in politics and in the media are
so thoroughly corrupt and dishonest that whatever they say on anything else
in the future need not be taken seriously.

If you have a child who is late in talking, one of the most dangerous
things you can do is to have that child evaluated by your local school
district. These diagnoses often turn out to be wrong by miles --- and yet the
resulting labels can follow your child for years, ruining his education, as
well as your own peace of mind.

The kinds of people we need in government are precisely the kinds of people
who are most reluctant to go into government --- people who understand the
inherent dangers of power and feel a distaste for using it, but who may do
so for a few years as a civic duty. The worst kind of people to have in
government are those who see it as a golden opportunity to impose their own
superior wisdom and virtue on others.

When Pete Sampras referred to Australian tennis star Mark Phillipousis as
"a big Greek guy," someone pointed out that Sampras himself was a big Greek
guy, and everyone had a laugh. It was refreshing to see an ethnic remark
taken in the spirit of good humor in which it was meant and not lead to a
media frenzy or a federal
lawsuit.