Morning Feature – Medianuts

Did you know that WAL-MART spelled backwards is TRAM-LAW, as in “TRAMple the LAW to help out military take over Texas?” Just ask Chuck Norris, because of course he would know…. (More)

Ahh, for the good old days when all we had to worry about was backward song lyrics. You know, like when you play a country-western song in reverse: you get your dog back, then your truck, then your wife, and finally your job.

And like the “silver girl” myth, backmasking is complete rubbish. Yes, “kiss, kiss, kiss” said backward sounds like “sick, sick, sick.” That’s not a conspiracy. It’s a phonetic coincidence, like the fact that “golf” said backward sounds like “flog.” Except if you’ve played golf, that actually makes sense.

Anyway if you play other songs backward, you’ll ‘hear’ familiar patterns in the noise, for the same reason you ‘see’ familiar patterns in clouds. It’s called pareidolia, and unless you think ice crystals in the sky are part of some grand conspiracy – as some people do – you know the animals or faces are mere coincidence.

Last week, I laughed as some progressives in the mainstream media tried to mock Gov. Abbott for telling the Texas State Guard to monitor the Pentagon’s Jade Helm 15 military ops that are occurring this summer in seven states, including California and Texas.

If you haven’t heard about Jade Helm 15, you need to. It is multi-state training mission for special operations soldiers scheduled over an eight-week period in July and August, with most of the activity happening on private property but some public, too. The official website press release from March 24 admits: “While multi-state training exercises such as these are not unique to the military, the size and scope of Jade Helm sets this one apart.”

Gov. Abbot was right in writing Maj. Gen. Gerald Betty, “During the training operation, it is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed.” Abbott is demanding “regular updates on the progress and safety of the Operation.”

Concerned Texans and Americans are in no way calling into question our brave and courageous men and women in uniform. They are merely following orders. What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington. The U.S. government says, “It’s just a training exercise.” But I’m not sure the term “just” has any reference to reality when the government uses it.

“Well, I’m not trusting what we’re being told,” said Mike Hightower, an affable antique store owner and real-estate agent in the very small town of Smithville, Texas, where some Jade Helm 15 exercises will take place. He added, “I think there’s something a little more involved than what they’re telling us.”

If Washington wants to cool the embers of controversy, then it should quit stoking the fire, as with the posting of a map of Jade Helm 15 “just” exercises that label some areas of the country, including Texas, as “hostile,” according to KHOU 11 News in Houston and verified by the Washington Post.

Never mind that military exercises routinely designate “hostile” regions within the training area. Last year’s Operation BOLD ALLIGATOR – which anagrams to BALLAD LOG RIOT, LORD GOT LABIAL, and ALTAR IDOL BLOG – designated a big chunk of the Southeast as “Garnet,” an enemy country backing terrorist groups in the “Garnet Enclave” area of North Carolina. Of course that didn’t turn into a military take over, probably because they were stopped by those singing log rioters. Or maybe they were stopped by a female deity whose website features an altar with her statue.

5 Comments

winterbanyan
on May 5, 2015 at 8:39 am

I am just goggle-eyed that anyone could believe that a routine military exercise is something that needs to be feared. Military exercises go on all the time within the U.S. JADE HELM 15 even alludes to that in it’s designation: This is the 15th JADE HELM exercise.

What worries me is that some wackadoodle may shoot some innocent civilian because they look “suspicious.”

Regardless, this was a very funny post, Squirrel. I had to laugh more than once. Thanks for reducing it the the level where the threat belongs: humor.

Actually the 15 in JADE HELM 15 refers to the year: 2015. I don’t know how many JADE HELM exercises they’ve had before. But if you assume the 1 and 5 are really an I and S, then JADE HELM IS anagrams to JEHAD SLIME. That’s gotta mean something….

Of course, it also anagrams to SHE JAM DELI, so maybe you should stock up on peanut butter and jelly….

Good day and good nuts

winterbanyan
on May 5, 2015 at 8:54 am

LOL. You are so funny. And thanks for correcting me on the designator. I’ve been away from the military for so long I’d forgotten they didn’t number the exercises but used the year.

I kinda even feel sorry for Walmart. To have to say that there are no tunnels and they are not cooperating with the military to take over Texas is not a normal business press release. It is even funnier when I look back and some of us suspected that Walmart wanted to rule the world. Ha!

This was such a brilliant piece of writing. Applause and thanks for the giggles.