Divorce in the Philippines – Say NO to It

Divorce in the Philippines is planning to take over Filipino values and culture. It’s all over the news, the Philippine Congress is now pushing forward the Divorce Bill right after they have put forward the Reproductive Health Bill. This is exactly what I have been worrying about. Just a couple of weeks ago, when I attended our Baptist Convention Meeting here in the Visayas, this issue was brought up. And just as what I have stated, “RH Bill can also lead to the Divorce Bill” because they have the same proponents.

I know lots of Evangelical Christians are pro-RH Bill. But what they don’t know is that the proponents of RH Bill are also the proponents of Divorce Bill. And now that they almost got what they want, they are now preparing for another wave of controversial bill which will open a highway for immorality and degradation of Philippine culture and religious standards and beliefs.

Here is a list of the known supporters of RH Bill and Divorce Bill

RH-Bill Divorce Bill

Liza Maza – Liza Maza

Risa Hontiveros – Risa Hontiveros

Janette Garin – Janette Garin

Edcel Lagman – Edcel Lagman

Luzviminda Ilagan Luzviminda Ilagan

Now if you are pro-RH Bill but Anti Divorce… THINK AGAIN!!!

Why I am Against Divorce in The Philippines

It is not what God wants. Since I started Biblical studies nothing in the Bible that will tell you that God favored and felt better for divorce. It was only allowed due to the hardheadedness of men. God did not made man and woman to be united and then separated if they got into some problems.

If you fear the Lord and his commands, there is no way that you will agree on divorce. This is not what God wants. As simple as it is. Even if some pastor and theologians quantify it as a “necessary amputation” as far as I remember what my American Theology professor said, I would say that divorce is divorce, and God hates it. It was only men who wants it, not God.

It is not the answer to the growing violence against women and children. Most divorce advocates gives emphasis on the growing children and women abuse. But I really do not see it as a solution for these problems. In fact it extends to the growing problem of immorality and sexually related diseases and problems such as unwanted pregnancies and sexually related diseases. And I believe that you will agree with me that these problems are a threat to women, children and even family.
But why? Simply because people were given the so-called choice and chance to change while the fact is, it is where the so-called “rights” is abused. It is where many people make use of the right and abuse it for their own self-centered selfish quest for happiness and will only bring them to the same situation again and again and again. That’s why you will see people divorced not just once, nor twice, but multiple times.

It gives a wider path to domestic problems. As I mentioned earlier this right has proven to be easily abused. And we are not actually giving people a solution to their problems, but a chance to repeat the same mistakes. Divorce is like a medicine… but an unrecommended one.

For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.

It gives a wider path for immorality and marital infidelity. Immorality. I guess this is not so much “in” nowadays. It’s something that most people don’t want to talk about except those that are of the religious sectors and religious people. I hate to say this but the Philippines have a steep moral degradation and that is why most of these divorce proponents put forward a SILLY SOLUTION for various problems.

Did we not learn from the US? Did the stats of violence against women and children dropped by the use of divorce law? We talk much about the positive things that we can get from the divorce law, while the negative effects far out weighs the positive.

Here’s the summary of the advantages of divorce:

Spouses will have a “second chance” for a happier life.

Spouses will have a “second chance” for a non-violent life.

…. “second chance”

…. “second chance”

…. “second chance”

to be happy…

to be happy…

to be happy….

My goodness… is there any solid advantages of divorce bill than being self-centered and selfish reasons??? What about your family??? What about your children??? That’s what family is for… Divorce is not only anti-Filipino, but is anti-Family and anti-marriages. It simply opens a wide range of disadvantages over the family.

But here’s the list of what they are not talking about:

1. One out of every two marriages ends in divorce.

2. In 1991, only 50.8% of American children were living with a mother and a father. The numbers have worsened since that study.

3. Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father.

4. The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood. By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty.

5. Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent families.

6. Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with children.

7. Children from disrupted marriages experience greater risk of injury, asthma, headaches, and speech defects than children from intact families.

8. Suicide rates for children of divorce are measurably higher than for children from intact families.

So What’s The Real Answer?

Fear of God and teach Morality… Morality… and Morality…. If we have the fear of God and we understand what morality means, then we understand the real answer to the growing problems related to violence against women and children.

Divorce is definitely NOT a TRUE medicine nor a solution to the growing domestic problems. I see it just like illegal drugs which may have a little benefit of easing the pain of the patient. But in most cases, it is an addictive medicine that can kill and destroy life and relationships.

It is NOT TRUE that you will be happy with second chance. It is NOT TRUE that you will gain your happiness back when your marriage fail and divorce is the solution. The only solution for marital problems is to adhere what the word of God says…. “Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wife as you love yourselves…” (Ephesians 5:22-33). This is where you gain happiness and fullness of marital life and your family.

Want Deeper Advise on Marital Problems and Biblical Teachings About Marriage? You can read:

231 Comments

Aly
on November 15, 2018 at 9:58 pm

You have your point but it seems kinda biased and based mostly on religious beliefs. It seems kinda one-sided especially when you’re generalizing when you said divorce is an act on one’s selfishness which is not solely true unless you present a factual data that says so.

Your statement gives the impression that people are not allowed to grow and make themselves be a better person. Yes, one should be responsible but mistakes are inevitable too. Not all problems residing marriage comes from the husband and wife. There are a lot of circumstances that can come along.

Hi Aly! Thanks for the opinion. Well, this is a religious blog so it definitely has it’s own bias especially when it comes to faith and moral vs legal issues. However, this article does not intend to prohibit people to grow. This is to prevent big time mistake, mistake that can take a lifetime to repair. It is to educate those who are not yet there and to avoid facing the same mistake. You are right that mistake is inevitable, but this particular mistake is “avoidable”. With proper moral understanding on how marriage works, how to look for your lifetime partner, how to nurture relationship, etc, learning these things can definitely put someone in a bigger advantage for a successful lifetime relationship.

it good to know that someone has able to spread the truth based on the fact that they had and pastor vince is the greatest person God used to enlightens the minds of those people who cannot understand to the situation.It is true for the freedom in abuse about women but let keep in mind our child because without their parent who will guide them they will go to the wrong track Good day and godbless the world hoping to see pastor vince!!

Matthew 5:31-32 New International Version (NIV)
Divorce
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[a] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Hebrews 13:4 New International Version (NIV)
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

I really love how accurate and how informative your article pastor. im so bless the way you stand for what is right…. I like also the way you reply to the pro divorce rude comment. you are so professional even though they are rude and they attack you personally. i see how awesome the lord giving you the right wisdom regarding with this matter. thank you for sharing this wisdom and knowledge that God given to you. i know that the Lord is so happy that you share his words to other people and i believed manny pro divorce will be enlighten once they read your article. May the Lord Bless you and your family exceedingly.

Lets face it guys! if DIVORCE will not have the “Allowed to remarry” thing, walang maeexcite dyan..come on lets get real! You can’t fix violence against women and children which is CHRONIC with something LAME as DIVORCE…

I am against DIVORCE..its a waste of time..that bill belongs to the TRASH BIN..

“It is not the answer to the growing violence against women and children. Most divorce advocates gives emphasis on the growing children and women abuse. But I really do not see it as a solution for these problems. In fact it extends to the growing problem of immorality and sexually related diseases and problems such as unwanted pregnancies and sexually related diseases. And I believe that you will agree with me that these problems are a threat to women, children and even family.” – See more at: http://thedisciplers.com/divorce-in-the-philippines-say-no-to-it/#sthash.hcWSN7c6.dpuf

You are all over the place. If you are going to argue against a human right that’s long overdue in the Philippines, at least have the decency to have all the bases covered. There is a good reason why divorce is considered as a human right in many countries, including those which the Philippine government tries to emulate. You are a sad example of what this country is becoming. Instead of preaching rickety assumptions like its gospel, try for once get out of your cave and experience the world the way it is.

In a real world’s democracy, you can’t favor one religion over another. That’s why we have State-Church separation, which is just a big fat lie in this country.

I don’t care if you are Christian. Even if I was one, I wouldn’t try to force my beliefs on people who might not believe on the same thing I do.

The people of other religions, and those who don’t believe in a deity, are not supposed to abide to a set of rules mandated by a deity they don’t believe on. This, together to the lack of support for marriage equality, is what is making people challenge their beliefs more and realize there’s no evidence that there is god (which god? Thor? Shiva? Zeus? Flying Spaghetti Monster?), leaving the catholic church and throwing away religion altogether.

The state is secular. And so it should be if the goal is to defend all its people

Hi, i respect your opinion and all, i know you speak base on your religious belief but honestly, your points are so biased towards women and our rights. Recovery??? how do you suppose to stop a man from beating on his wife and children??? are women suppose to just bear the suffering of being married to an abusive husband? aren’t law suppose to exist to protect those who need it? marriage is a wonderful thing. but in real life, it does not work for all, as people make mistake – as in judging characters because. more importantly, a law does not destroys a family, only the family members can. thus, it is only logical and MORAL to provide a legal remedy to the moral corruption in society. i hope we could stop from using religious faith from twisting the real necessities of society.

@liberty eviola. First, if you have read my answers to the previous comments, you will see that I am not against filing a case against abusive husbands. You yourself said that the law exists to protect people. However, I would say, not all laws are beneficial as you think. Some laws may be good to see, but underneath when you start digging to the real problems, you will see that it’s not really solving the problem. And this is what I am seeing on divorce. Divorce law will “NOT” solve abuses. In fact, we already have laws dealing with abuses, infidelity, rape, etc. The problem actually lies on the cultural part of the involved parties and our “legal system” itself. Walang nagdedemanda at kung meron man, medyo mahal.

Anti divorce does not mean pro-abuse. We hate abuses. We don’t want anybody to be abused, nor we don’t want to increase the incident of abuses, and more specifically we do not want people who are not abusers become abusers of the law. I don’t know if you are getting the point, but we simply do not believe divorce will help solve the real problem of abuses, what we see is that it will only enhance it and the tendency will be more people will even abuse the law of divorce itself.

Secondly, sorry to tell you that I cannot stop using faith in exposing this truth because this is a religious blog. But I want to straighten this up, I am “NOT” twisting the real necessities of society, I am actually helping you to think better and dig deeper to see the “REAL NECESSITIES” of society. I hope you too will start digging deeper. Blessings! 🙂

I have only with me these points that should be considered by our country.

“Prevention is better than cure”
I hope we are all familiar with that.

After having failed marriage, do you think divorce is a solution? No. The only thing it will provide is the dissolution of your marriage. And after that what? Marry another man/woman, have another failure marriage and resort to divorce over and over again. But first, let me know, why YOU COMMIT MARRIAGE? Why did you do so when in fact, you do not know every side of your partner? Is it just only because YOU WERE IN LOVE? YOU WERE PREGNANT FIRST? OR WHAT ELSE?
Considering that, your relationship has already been broken, does divorce guarantee that if you will let go of each other by dissolving your marriage, you’ll find PERFECT PERSON that will suit you in life? Of course not. There are those who choose to be single and live the life because they already knew what the consequences are. They may had a marriage failure back then but they also knew that another marriage cannot solve it. You may resort to having another companion but not another marriage.

What am I trying to say here is, WHY PASS A BILL THAT CAN ONLY PROVIDE ANOTHER CHANCE TO BREAK MARRIAGE?

WHY NOT PASS A BILL THAT WILL PROVIDE GUIDE AND TIME FOR PARTNERS’ PREPAREDNESS BEFORE COMMITTING MARRIAGE?

WHY NOT PREVENT THINGS FROM HAPPENING RATHER THAN PRESENT A BOGUS CURE!

WHO NOW HERE POSSESSES OPEN AND CLOSE MIND? WHO NOW HERE THINKS ABOUT THE WELFARE OF ONES COUNTRY? WHO NOW HERE WANTS TO BE HAPPY WITH HIS/HER WHOLE LIFE WHEN IN FACT IT REALLY CANNOT BE? THAT IN ORDER TO FEEL HAPPINESS, YOU MUST KNOW WHAT IS PAIN!

Let’s not make things very much comlicated! DO NOT BE TOO GULLIBLE! Can’t you see how you’re being easily deceived because they knew you are emotionally challenged? WHY NOT THINK A MILLION TIMES BEFORE GIVING YOUR ALL? BEFORE SAYING, “YES, I DO!”

It’s evident that the proponents of RH and Divorce are the same. C’mon, there are so many things that should take into consideration more than divorce! I hope by this you are awakened. You know who to vote in the coming election.

Arlc, Annulment is pronouncing that the marriage is null and void, as if there is no marriage that really exist at the beginning. Divorce on the other hand is the dissolution of marriage. Meaning, there is a marital union, and now you are dissolving it.

In application, they are almost the same. But in effect, they are totally different.

Annulment is also more expensive than divorce. Not only that, Annulment is harder to prove, while divorce is really really easy to do as if you are just applying for a license.

Matthew 19:9
“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:32
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Divorce is allowed according to the Bible as written in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the a thing in Scripture that gives God’s permission for divorce. This “EXCEPTION CLAUSE” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness”. According to this view, immorality during a marriage would then be a valid reason for a divorce.

Moreover, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of SEXUAL IMMORALITY. It can mean FORNICATION, PROSTITUTION, ADULTERY, and etc. Jesus is saying that DIVORCE IS PERMISSIBLE if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations are an integral part of the marital bond: “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, ANY BREAKING OF THAT BOND BY SEXUAL RELATIONS OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS PERMISSIBLE FOR DIVORCE. If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry. Although it is not stated in the text, the allowance for remarriage after a divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality. There may be instances where the “guilty party” is allowed to remarry, but it is not taught in this text.

I BELIEVE I HAVE A GOOD ARGUMENT IN HERE SO PLEASE REPLY TO MY COMMENT AND DO NOT DELETE THIS. :)) God bless. 🙂

Hi Mara Joyce!!!
Yes, you do have a good point… however, you missed a few things by only considering the “exemptions” without seeing the bigger picture. Please read verse 2-6 of Matthew 19. Some points to consider:

v. 4. God created male and female. No other gender by the way.
v. 5. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife. That means to be together as one family.
v. 5-6. The two will become one flesh, not two separate individuals but as one.
v. 6. Therefore (which is very conclusive), what God has joined together, let man not separate.

And then your argument comes in because just like the Pharisee, he is probably looking for exemption. In that case, he quoted Moses. But notice how Jesus introduced your exemption.

v. 8. “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.”

Reading this and also highlighting these things will give us the right answers to these questions:
1. Does Jesus agree on divorce? The answer is NO. He does not.
2. Did the Scriptures permitted divorce? Yes it did. Since the Old Testament times.
3. Is it God’s will to have divorce? NO it is absolutely NOT. It was permitted, but it is NOT what God wants.
4. So why is there divorce? Because the hearts of the people are hard.

Now let me ask you a question? Are you one of those people whose hearts are hard? Or you want to follow God’s ultimate plan for marriage?

Again, thank you very much for a very nice presentation. 🙂 God bless your heart and may you find wisdom. 🙂

Thank you, too, Pastor Vince. That was a great answer. Actually, tomorrow will be our debate about this topic and reading your blog’s thread is a big help for tomorrow’s big day. He-he. 😀

To answer the question you left me, My heart is not hard and I believe I am not just a believer, but also a fateful servant of God. 🙂 Moreover, my ambition in life, I’m glad to share, as what I have written in my Elementary Yearbook, is not to become a successful professional but rather TO HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY. <3

But I also would like to ask you, how about those IRRETRIEVABLE marriages? Those couples na Love na mismo ang nang-iwan at napalitan na ng hatred at kasamaan ang puso ng isa sa kanila… For example, there is this battered wife. The wife can't just FORCE herself to "submit to his husband", or tell him "love me as you would love yourself". (Phrases with quotation marks are words of God). And let's say, the husband is some kind of an atheist or he has lost his fate in God, would you just let the wife suffer from the situation because she had a mistake choosing the wrong man to marry? I think that's unfair (though I know every thing seems to be unfair in life. I am right, right? Ha-ha 😀 ) .

Yes, I know God hates Divorce.
And, yes, there are people whose hearts are hard. It's a fact, but unfortunately, a sad reality… But hey! Don't you think they deserve the Divorce? It may not be an assurance that it can soften their hearts, but look at the other side of the coin — IT MAY! 🙂 — don't you think? :))

1. I never recommended that the woman stick with his violent husband. So what now if there is no divorce? Our law has provisions on violence against women and children. The woman can always file a case against an abusive husband and put him to jail. In most cases, that’s the way to teach him a lesson, not divorce. Divorce will never stop him from hurting women. Putting him to prison will.

2. For irretrievable marriages, I also did not say an “absoluteness” of separation. Our laws already provide “Annulment”. In fact some people even say that they are just the same. In a sense yes. But I strongly believe that divorce is way too easy to get where people can really abuse its provision. At least for annulment, filing a case is quite expensive thus, one will really think of pursuing to that.

Another option is legal separation. But most people doesn’t like it simply because you cannot remarry.

Here’s the fact, many (not all) people suffer from failed marriages due to lack of moral standards in choosing one’s partner in life. Irretrievable marriages can actually be avoided “if only” we had been careful in choosing our partner. Why would we need divorce or annulment if our family is good? Just come to think of it.

Would I let one suffer just because she made a mistake? I would answer this yes or no. The Bible is very clear that when there is sin, there are “consequences”. For that, it is normal for people to suffer from sinful actions and that’s for all. Rule of thumb yan.

No, because all sins can be forgiven (except for blasphemy of the Holy Spirit). If we only come to the Lord and confess it and “do” his will, then we can be free. Is divorce the answer? No it is not. Again, our law already gave provisions for that. We don’t need divorce any more.

Divorce will probably lessen the burden of those qualified people to have it, but it will be a huge open gate for abuse and more immorality. 🙂

And yes, divorce may not be a solution to abused women. But it sure as hell helpful. I don’t see The Church providing SOLUTIONS.

And one more thing, it really makes me wonder how the Catholic Church, despite divorce being legal in the very home of the Vatican, is so against divorce in our country. Gusto niyo ata maging HIPSTER ANG PILIPINAS eh (not conforming to norms)

Anyway, this site really pissed me off. The author is obviously hateful (notice the exclamation points and the question marks. It’s as if he’s telling us that he is absolutely right and we’re utterly wrong)

If you’re a disciple of God, learn to understand your fellow humans first ’cause I really am trying to understand where you’re coming from. Unfortunately, you just pissed me off more rather than INFORM us.

@Blah… Sorry to tell you whoever you are. This is definitely not a hateful site. In fact, people like you who cannot accept God’s word and keeps on attacking me as the author of this makes this site looks hateful. Open your eyes. This article was published for people who wants to stand for NO Divorce. I suggest you go and visit other site who are pro divorce.

And if you are pissed of, well, that’s really your problem. As you see there are people who are pro divorce who simply commented their own opinion. That is how you should express your opinion.

There’s only one thing that I see here why you are pissed off, because you are pro divorce and you hate opinions of people who are anti divorce. And indeed, I am a disciple of God. That’s why I wrote this article not to intentionally displease you, but to let the people know why should we say no to it.

1. One out of every two marriages ends in divorce.
2. In 1991, only 50.8% of American children were living with a mother and a father. The numbers have worsened since that study.
3. Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father.
4. The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood. By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty.
5. Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent families.
6. Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with children.
7. Children from disrupted marriages experience greater risk of injury, asthma, headaches, and speech defects than children from intact families.
8. Suicide rates for children of divorce are measurably higher than for children from intact families.

You gave everyone examples from AMERICA. You didn’t give us the possibilities of what would happen if divorce would be legalized here in the Philippines. And please, cite your sources for your examples. I’m scared that your not credible enough to say those things. For all I know, baka naka-post lang yan sa Wikipedia.

@Blah, hmmm.. I am not really sure if you have read the article. I think, I stated there the most possible outcome.
And if you read the articles and follow the thread, you should see my sources.

You are scared that I am not credible enough? Then why don’t you conduct your own research???

I can really conclude that you just scan the article without completely understanding it. Go and read it again. If you are not satisfied, go ahead and conduct your own research. And may I suggest that you make a blog where you can post your opinion about it? And send me the link.

I just want to add my opinion on this article and this is basically my opinion. This article does not speak for the many people who are suffering from neglect due to men or women who cheat, control and abuse their spouses.
Where does it say in the 10 Commandments that the husband is free to commit “Adultery”(7th Commandment) and ignore the 10th Commandment to refrain from inward desires of the another person that is not his? And to keep his spouse from having the freedom to live morally, ethically and committed to the right person?

Poverty is high when countries become known for their prostitution because women are oppressed and have no other source of direction but by the man’s desires.

What this article is stating is that “men should be free to do what they want and can ignore any religious beliefs unless it has anything to do with a woman’s freedom”? Sounds like a double-standard to keep men in control of their wants and needs and has nothing to do with the country economically, morally and religiously. You can just review the 7 and 10th Commandments to know that the rules have been broken which led to this suffering in the first place. It must be rectified requiring a modification of the judicial system to loosen the shackles of this oppressed women.

This article compares the poverty rate of single/divorced parents to that of the Philippines when the Philippines poverty rate is so much higher. How do you teach a cheating, lying, gambling, laziness or any one two or three of those combinations the moral value of being a good husband or wife? Much less teaching his or her kids how to be a good spouse when they are already setting the bad example?
Moral retraining? At what cost? And how would that be implemented when just about everyone is involved with self gratification?
Filipino people are the most generous, selfless and hospitable people in the world until they have to deal with their own people. This is where the breakdown in beaurocracy begins to weigh in.
If you allow freedom for all to follow their dreams as individuals to commit to better relationships…the end results become a bettery way of living…morally, ethically and financially…

This is why religion and state should be separate. What may seem right to you may be wrong to me and vise versa.

You are saying “no” to divorce simply because your god implies it.But God also gave you free will and that’s why you have the right to fight for your belief, I hope none of your family members are battered wives. cause you were like. ” send your dad to jail cause he beats up you mom, but your mom cant be happy and marry someone else and start a new life cause god says no to divorce.

From what I understand God teaches love. if love fails, are you not suppose to love again? we are human and we make mistakes, even in marriage. what god had joined can not be separated by man. but funny thing is… it is a priest who marries people and not god himself. would he show up and tell the priest “stop! I am not allowing this cause I know they aren’t right for each other” A priest acts in the person of Christ is what you would most likely say, then I would say Christ was also there when some priests do unholy things. lol priests and altar boys, priests and young women. oh yes. reality.

i was searching for an additional knowledge about my thesis when i saw this blog….actually my thesis states that: “Divorced should not be pursued in the Philippines” ….as i read those comments my knowledge about this issue became wider…though we have different opinions i am glad that everyone of us want to be part of this issue…lumalabas lamang na we care for the betterment of marriage and families…but there is something lacking on it…anu ba talaga ang magandang patutunguhan nito?if the divorced bill was approve there would be peace in both parties (wife n husband) how about their children??it would stop immorality??para kasing binibigyan lang natin ng pagkakataon na abusuhin ang marriage…for what pa ang sumpa.an sa harap ng altar?? marriage is a sacred commitment between the partners and god for all i know…hindi ba pwede na manatilitayo sa dati nating culture n tradition??why don’t we preserve it?

I am happily married with three kids and would not want divorce to put a gap in my marriage but, I was not raised to think lowly and selfish thinking only of myself. Yes, I am happy and a content woman with a husband who loves and support me and my children but, I feel for those who suffer in their marriages. I am pro divorce though, I don’t need one. We all know that every nation in the world honors Divorce. I mean, if you try to look at it… On the moral side of the argument. How far are we morally differeng from other nations who has divorce laws?! Isn’t it that we are flocked by foreigners for our filipino prostitutes, isn’t it that other nations are always ahead of us in terms of morality, economic and financial aspect?! So, how dare we happily married people choose off the right from other unhappy filipinos entrapped in marriages- I’m sure they all tried to work out for but, just can’t?! If morality is the issue here, explain the morals of all our philandering politicians, explain the morals of those businessmen who would come home to their families after spending time with their mistresses! Who are we to judge on how to make something broken work out?! Who are we to force to others about what will and will not work for them? Who are we to generalize the formation of our youth’s morality? Divorce cannot or will not destroy families… The members of the family most especially the married couples are the only ones who have the power to destroy their families. If we are after the maintainance of morality in our country then, everything should start from us by heart. Can you just sit back and feed your righteous ego and assume about what’s best for everyone?! My mother raised me well and I am also trying my best to raise my children the same way she did- and Among the many things my mother taught me I always tell them the one thing I know is applicable to their daily living- Don’t judge other people. Don’t assume you know best for others. Why?! Because you don’t know anything about what they are going through.

@Rain, first and foremost, no one is judging other people here. The article is a presentation of why say “No” to divorce. It’s intentions is to bring to light, why NO to divorce and not NO to people. I think there’s a huge difference there.

Most people who disagree with the “NO to Divorce” in this article usually attacks me personally. Why not stick to the issue, and talk about it instead of attacking me? In this case, I think I am the one being judged. I stand for “No Divorce” and I presented the reasons, I think it is best to do the same if you are pro divorce.

On the other hand, to answer your argument, it doesn’t mean that the world is immoral then we need to go along with it. The campaign for No Divorce is an expression of opinion, belief that Divorce Law will not help the Philippines. It is a waste of money and a waste of time. As I said, divorce solved nothing. The government has a better choice.

Unfortunately, we do not want the better choice, we want the easier choice.

If I may…I don’t agree with your comment about divorce not solving anything. It absolves a damaged relationship that is irreparable, irreconcilable and no longer absolute. How can you call that happiness or a marital bliss?
I respect your opinion…I really do…but she and others are right….religion should not be involved in the political arena. The 7th Commandment alone states the case to many of these broken relationships.

kung inaabuso ka ng asawa mu di ipakulong mo o ireklamo mo. eh nasa iyo ang problema kung dimo gawan ng solusyon. kasi kung ang problema ay ang pananakit ng asawa o kung ano pa at ang tanging solusyon ay divorse eh para saan pa ang —– The Philippine Constitution ARTICLE XIII: WOMEN 1.)Section 14. The State shall protect working women by providing safe and healthful working conditions, taking into account their maternal functions, and such facilities and opportunities that will enhance their welfare and enable them to realize their full potential in the service of the nation. 2 .) Republic Act 9208 An Act to institute policies to eliminate trafficking in persons especially women and children, establishing the necessary institutional mechanisms for protection and support of trafficked persons, providing penalties for its violations and for other. 3 .) Republic Act 7192 of 1992 An Act known as the “Women in Development and Nation Building Act”, promotes the integration of women as full and equal partners of men in development and nation building. 4 .) Republic Act 8353 An Act known as the “Anti-Rape Law of 1997.” Contains answers to commonly asked questions about the law and rape as a public crime. Also contains contact details of agencies and organizations that rape victims may approach for help. 5.)Republic Act 7610 An Act providing for stronger deterrence and special protection against child abuse, exploitation and discrimination, and for other purposes. 6.) Republic Act 9262 An Act Defining Violence Against Women and Their Children, providing for protective measures for victims, prescribing penalties therefore, and for other purposes. Otherwise known as the “Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004”.—–nagsayang lang ng malaking pera para dito

“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9 NIV)

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:4-12, NIV)

Explanation:
Moses was permitted to write a provision for divorce because of the hardened hearts of men. But such is not the designed will of the Father. For marriage was designed to be a lifetime commitment.

One may be able to assume that God do not favor divorce however, seemingly, God saw the necessity for it: “It was only allowed due to the hardheadedness of men.”(please see third paragragh of the above post)… Why not our law allow it then?

Restricting a whole nation to prevent them from sinning is impossible. They have means to do whatever they wish to do anyways. Instead of punishing the wrong doers (only if they get caught), why not give the victims refuge if they sought for it (as it will remain a choice).

Surely Divorce Law won’t make people do what’s right- Surely it is not a solution to many problems that arises in our country- Surely it will not make violence in a disrupted marriage disappear- as these had accompanied humanity eversince- However Divorce Law will give people a choice to stay a in their pathetic state or not.

If our government cannot keep its people safe with the numerous laws they implemented, why not give the people a way to protect themselves instead?

Unhappiness shouldn’t be taken lightly. So is safety, peace of mind and the desire to start over. Sacrifices are not necessarily good nor produce good results. There are always two sides on a coin… Who has the right to restrict a fellow person to see only the head not the tail?

My parents also separated when I was a kid. My mom left us for another man, my dad took care of us and then left us for another woman as well. My mom is a born again and my dad is a catholic. My life with them was a total hell. I’ve always wanted for them to separate for good.
They both believe in God but I totally did not see them apply what the Bible says about marriage.
I’m glad that they already separated but at the back of my mind, I know that there is still something wrong. I believe in God, I believe what the Bible says. I am a bit scared as I don’t know how real family functions. I learned everything from school from church but I didn’t see real application from my parents so I wonder if I can make my own happy family in the future. One thing I realized is,
God made us in His own image (Genesis) and God hates divorce.. He forgives us with our short comings and renews us when we ask for it. This is His way to show us how much we are loved by Him. Imagine if God would agree with Divorce, like, when we make mistake He’ll forsake us and look for somebody else better. 🙁

Ptr. Vince says: “Nonetheless, for those of you who are in abroad, or is planning to go abroad, we counselors never and do not advise that you go abroad alone. Bring your wife with you. Go and work together rather than working in abroad alone. As much as possible, work in the same country and stay at the same place. Family comes first money will follow. ”

When you have anything more concrete than the ‘Fear to God’ bulshit let me know.

Only frigging country in the world without divorce. How did this work out for you so far? You think you will be saving families like this? Bullshit. I’ve met many, MANY married Filipinos who don’t even talk to their “spouses” for years. Tell me again how making someone stuck with a marriage saves the family? Thank god no one started chaining spouses together yet.
Think again. If divorce is to give someone a second chance, and that’s selfish (why? because I should fear god?? Just don’t…) so be it! People deserve to be happy and although many people I’ve met here are happy with their marriage, many of them are not! People deserve to be happy. What they don’t deserve is to be miserable due some imaginary God who had a book written by some people and some people believe it was written by him. Wake up!

Hey, the Pope said “ours is a church without circumcision’. Why do you blatantly disobey the church like this (as you did for years of the church telling you to get rid of the death penalty), but want to be ‘true Catholics’ and not allow divorce? You want to be good Catholics? STOP CIRCUMCISING your children, you are disobeying the pope and NO medical board in THE ENTIRE world recommends it.

Not allowing divorce does NOT keep people together. They merely have affairs and live apart. If Philippines is truly the secular country it claims it is, it will stop not allowing divorce because of the Catholic Church. Not everyone in Philippines is Catholic, why should they be denied?

After the RH Bill has been passed by the Philippine Congress lately and ready to be a law after President Noynoy Aquino will sign it. Another controversial Bill is in line for deliberation when the Philippines Congress resumes in 2013 – this is the DIVORCE BILL.

Before you make conclusions against this Divorce Bill, you have to read and understand the whole provisions of the Family Code of the Philippines that needs amendment from the original “Legal Separation” code to “Divorce”. This Divorce Bill was authored by Cong. Manuel C. Ortega, of La Union. If this bill be translated into a law the provisions for filing a divorce is not that easy where several grounds for divorce shall be considered. This bill is not to suggest that if you don’t like your spouse, you can file for divorce that easy, it has to be in accordance with the provisions transpired in the Divorce Law.

Some people or even some of you who made comments that are against this Divorce Bill, are actually ignorant about the whole essence of this Bill filed by Cong. Manuel C. Ortega. All your apprehensions and fears are immaterial, and are just based on your emotions, personal understanding or even taken from the “kwentong kalye” rumors.

Some citizens who are against to this Divorce Bill have persuasions based on Roman Catholic Church’s mandate disfavoring divorce. These “men in white” are influencing their religious constituents to bar against divorce in the Philippines when in fact they haven’t had strong program in giving alternative solutions for eliminating broken families in placing hundreds of thousands of Fiiipino single parents in jeopardy, who have been living estrange away from their legal spouses. Some of these “holier than thou” are just following some principles against divorce being taught to them by the clergy, but totally ignorant on Biblical principles about divorce.

Although it is not God’s will to divorce because it was God who established the first family in the Garden of Eden, but the Bible also has few provisions in allowing divorce for some certain reasons: The Torah of Moses has provisions about divorce (Deut. 24:1-4; Deut. 22:13-19). Even Jesus Christ DID NOT favor divorce but has allowed it to happen if it is based on marital infidelity (Matthew 19:1-9). Saint Paul also was against divorce but has admonished the Corinthian Church about divorce if it would happen inevitably (I Corinthians 7:8-14)

I am a single dad with 4 kids living with me. I have been estranged from my wife for the past 8 years and there is no way for us to be reunited. I have been struggling raising my kids without a marital partner and I am not getting any younger anymore, and I need a new wife to grow old with me when my children will have their own families someday. And in fact there are thousands of single parents here in our country that are also struggling to find and live with new legal spouses just because they are bound with the validity of their previous marriages with live Marriage Contracts, and can’t afford to get an Annulment. If this Bill be passed into a Law, this will be very favorable to single parents just like me to remarry without hassle in going through the process of an Annulment.

This Divorce Bill is not intended to break an existing well-established, solid and firm families, but rather, it will protect abused women to disregard their abusive and infidel husbands. It is to protect the welfare of the children away from irresponsible and abusive parent/s. It is to give hope to those single parents who have been separated and estranged from their legal spouses for many years to find a new legal spouse.

I believe that divorce law will never be a solution to the growing problem of marital rape, battered wives, etc. I think the problem here is the loss of virtues that we supposedly have. The virtue of respect, the virtue of love, the virtue of honesty, etc. In the first place, there would have not been battered wives if the married couple put Christ at the center of their marriage and if they learn to understand and respect one another. There would be no divorce if the couple stands for what they promised at the altar during their marriage. Before you should enter marriage, you should know the kind of person you are going to marry because in marriage, there is no turning back and it is a lifetime commitment. Being married is a long time preparation, you start from your childhood until the moment of your marriage. So there is no reason why you should engage in divorce, unless you were not able to prepare very well.

Marriage is a reflective act of God united to the church. WE people are the church and Jesus Christ is the head. We can never be separated to the head of the church who is Jesus Christ. So if divorce law will be pushed through, then we are as if saying to God that we are not part of the church. We are as if left as a body without a head. No guidance!
RESULT:
Divorce can only create confusion to a child for the reason that he or she does not know which family he or she belongs, for his or her mom or dad could be married to another man or woman having their own children. I believe that divorce will just cater the selfishness of both parents. There is annulment in the country so why ask for divorce.

seriously, all of you who believe divorce should be legalized and assume that people who are against it does not mean that they are ONLY experiencing happiness and never had to go through any struggles in their marriage, or that they have never been married, which is why they cannot empathize with what you are going through.

but NO ONE FORCES ANYONE TO BE MARRIED. you went into it with your own free will, why marry when you don’t even know your partner well enough (both their good AND BAD sides) have tested their limits enough to see if they are the type to hit you when you argue, to see any signs of abuse or doubts about the partner committing infidelity, or if you just do not mesh together as well as you’d hoped? WHY GET MARRIED when you do not know who the hell it is you’re marrying yourself into?

divorce secures the possibility of an insurance that if you go into a marriage at full throttle without any sufficient work of actually getting to know each other and yourselves figuring out together (without any mind games or mere assumptions that the other SHOULD KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING AND FEELING without me having to spell it out for them), the first sign of a disagreement, you would be rest assured that if you do not work at the marriage to communicate your issues, decades from when the first disagreement started, you know you have a safety net that you can get away if it gets out of hand. there is no sense of risk anymore. when love is supposed to be ultimately sacrificial, now it’s just dead. even ten folds more worse when a couple has children.

unless you were raped, abused, forced into the marriage, i really cannot see why anyone should be granted divorce when in the first place they promised TILL DEATH DO US PART and IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. did anyone force you to say that? no? yes? see, logic would be: if you feel like you’re not ready to risk getting married? THEN.DO.NOT.MARRY! stop pointing fingers telling people who are happily married DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS, because we do. we just have the HUMILITY TO WORK THROUGH IT, TOGETHER. and blaming priests? *sigh* God bless all of you for such accusations when most priests who are against divorce only wish what is best for our souls.

i think what should be passed is a bill for PRE-MARRIAGE SCREENING Certificate. where whoever that wishes to marry should not be allowed to get married unless they get a pre-marriage approval from psychiatrists that they are actually IN A HEALTHY and GENUINELY LOVING relationship. there should be tests, books that they need to read, and 2+ months long seminars, that way if whoever wishes to really marry someone, that wouldn’t even bother them because they know they would do ANYTHING to make their partners happy.

now on the upside, the insincere ones would think, THIS IS B.S. and a waste of my time!! anyone who isn’t right in the head would not bother sitting through weeks of seminars just to be with someone they don’t really love.

so if they can’t sell that? the relationship? if the psychiatrist/psychologist IS NOT SOLD on their story? then they won’t be able to get married. this way, future abuse in any marriage is prevented and there won’t be any need for divorce anymore.

stop being reactive people, start being PRO-active. if you’re Pro-DIVORCE? and you’re married? teach your children to not get married unless they really know whoever it is they’re marrying into. if there is anyone to blame, it’s our own selves.

Horrible grammar aside, do you even think before you give advice? Clearly your advice to Jojo (if it can even be called advice) is thoughtless and insensitive kasi andyan na nga, nangyari na sa kanya. Do you really think na ganun kadali magdala ng asawa or pamilya abroad? Yung may work commitment na nga lng nadedeny pa minsan, what more kung di ganun kataas ang sweldo, tapos isasama mo pa spouse mo. Do you have an idea as to how hard it is to feed yourself there while trying to save money to send home, tapos dagdagan mo pa ng isang bunganga na kelangan kumain dun? Ano tingin mo sa OFWs natin, executive positions ang pinapasukan? Sa payo mo kay Jojo parang sinasabi mo na kasalanan nya ang nangyari and not his wife. Na mali ang ginawa nyang decision to sacrifice and bear the loneliness and pain of being away from his family kasi he wanted to be able to provide for them and he had no other way to earn enough money except to try his luck abroad. Mas ok ba na hinayaan na lng nya magutom pamilya nya, or turn to a life of crime here, para lng andito sya?

@Karl …Bringing your wife and your family in abroad is difficult. I know that. Pero yun ang gamit ng word na “planning”. Please don’t give me your petty argument that it’s not possible because I can give names of people who have brought their family abroad. I have personal friends whom I advised to bring their family and was able to bring them. It’s a matter of choice.

I never said that it is Jojo’s fault… But there is a better choice if you really want to go abroad. If you prefer to stay there in abroad without your family, it’s always up to you, but you are endangering your relationship with your spouse and your children. You are opening yourself and your spouse to a more tempting situation to go and find another man or woman. It’s not a mindless advice Karl… It is about the basic principle of what is family is about. A reminder of how you should raise your family.

Feeding the family… your whole issue. I was just puzzled by your insults and as you insist that it was mindless advice. Because as far as I can see here, it seems like you are making a picture of having a family without having a good plan of feeding your family but to go abroad.

I highly respect our OFW’s, that is why I am giving a sensible advice not like you who opened up in a very insulting opinion with a mindless answer.

Karl, I hope that you are able to answer yourself your last question, because I really don’t believe that there is “no other way”. There is a way, only you don’t like the idea and you don’t like to work for it.

I think I made my statement well.

Don’t answer back if you will post inappropriate words and insults because you will just waste your time and it won’t be published. If you want to answer, be responsible to your words. After all, we respect opinions here, it’s just we don’t tolerate vulgar, nor insulting words. This is a religious blog. Thank you!!!

“For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. THIS HUSBAND WILL THEN JUST LOOK FOR ANOTHER WOMAN TO ABUSE. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.”
– So ano? Hayaan na lang natin yung kanyang kasalukuyang asawa na maabuso hanggang mamatay na sya para lang walang ibang babaeng maabuso ang asawa nya? Very smart argument there above. Mapapailing ka na lang.

“Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father.”
– E bakit dito sa Pilipinas? Kala nyo ba porket walang divorce lahat ng pamilya buo? We live like divorced folks, kumakayod at nagtataguyod sa mga anak namin on our own dahil iniwan kami ng mga asawa namin. Ang kaibahan lang namin sa mga divorced folks ay ang papel at ang mandated support for the children. So you see (and this is so obvious that feeling ko nakapikit sa katotohanan ang blogger na ito), with or without divorce, millions of FILIPINO children are living without their fathers NOT as a result of divorce, but of abandonment.

“The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood. By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty.”
– Tama kayo. Just like the above AMERICAN statistics, hirap na hirap kami. PERO HINDI AS A RESULT OF DIVORCE, BUT AS A RESULT OF ABANDONMENT BY THE HUSBANDS/FATHERS. And while divorce will have strict guidelines for child support, wag kayo magalala, mga kalalakihan. Very few women will ever accept support from you because of our Filipina pride. After all, ilang taon na naming binubuhay mag-isa ang mga anak na iniwan nyo. At isa pa, dahil sa tindi ng motivation naming mga ina _ ang mga anak namin, sa totoo lang karamihan samin mas malalaki pa ang sahod kaysa sa mga lalaking umiwan samin. Pero kita nyo hirap pa rin kami? Kasi nga, tama naman, ideally, dalawa ang dapat na nagtutulungan magtaguyod ng mga anak. AT SINO NAMAN ANG AYAW NUN??? LAHAT NG KILALA KONG MGA INIWAN NG ASAWA NILA, myself included, FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET OUR HUSBANDS BACK, if only for the kids man lang, KAHIT PINAGPALIT NA KAMI SA MGA GRO HOSTESS. So you cannot say that we like where we’re at. In fact, YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE SUFFERING OF EVERY WOMAN LEFT BY THEIR HUSBAND. YOU HAVE NO CLUE AT ALL.

“Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent families.”
“Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with children.”
– As I stated, totoo po yan. Pero nagpapatuloy kami. Habang nagpapasasa ang mga asawa namin sa iba-ibang babae matapos kaming iwanan. But again, it is not a woman’s choice to be poor. Kaya nga todo ang kayod namin eh, hello???

So you see, first of all, your above statistics, sir, are from the US and, therefore, do not apply to the Philippines as we are miles apart in difference. The above facts are statistics. Statistics mean there was data upon which these figures were based. Those figures were collected from Americans, NOT FILIPINOS. In fact, I’m sure that if someone were to do a survey, they would actually see that the majority of these so called poor folks are poor because they were abandoned, not because they chose (or will choose, if in case the divorce bill is passed) divorce. Sa America, karamihan dyan sa mga divorce na yan, ano? Hindi makatiis sa kahirapan yung mga babae, gusto ng marangyang buhay. Irreconcilable differences, ang tataas ng pride. And the like. PERO ANG MGA PINAY, ano? Matiyaga ang Pinay. Matiisin. And generally, tutulong talaga kami sa mga asawa namin kung talagang hirap sa buhay.

I speak only for Filipino women who have been abandoned by their husbands, as I am one of them. And unless you are one of us, you don’t know what we go through everyday of our lives with our children dahil iniwan kami, hindi dahil pinili namin makipaghiwalay. And I’d like to mention I am a Baptist myself. So was my husband, or so he professed and I thought. I speak not only for single moms who are Catholics, Protestants, etc. Yes, I speak for Baptists as well. I have seen all of this in church. I mean, why else are there more moms than dads going to church with the kids.

And now I have met a Baptist gentleman who, despite the fact na para lang akong basurang itinapon ng isang lalake ay tanggap ako at ang anak ko. Who loves my son even more than his own father ever did. And who continues to pray for me, believing that inspite of my circumstances, I AM GOD’S BEST FOR HIM. Now, my child (and millions of other abandoned children, if given the chance) has a chance to not fall under your so called statistics above. Now he has the chance to not be poor, not become rebelious, the chance to be loved by two parents, the chance to be taught basketball coz I never could, the chance to address the Father’s Day greeting card they make in art class to someone real, who’s there and who will actually receive and read it. But we can’t.

Alam nyo, buti na lang I’m a firm believer in the sovereignty of God. I know that everything was planned _ from me having my son, and yes, to being left by my husband. And that it why this gentleman and I continue to pray for God’s will for us, for the chance, not to be happy, because I do not believe God made man to be happy. But to glorify God together, with “our” son. To show the world how God loved me enough, na kahit iniwan ako, bibigyan pala Nya ako ng isang taong mas mabait at tatanggapin lahat sakin, at tuturingin ang anak ko, hindi bilang isang dagdag sa buhay ko na kailangan lang nya tanggapin, kundi bilang isang blessing. Buti na lang naniniwala akong mas makapangyarihan ang Panginoon kaysa sa inyo at sa makitid nyong opinion at sa lahat man ng mambabatas sa Pilipinas na maaring magpasa o kumontra sa sa divorce bill.

Yes, God hates divorce. But I think the reason He permitted it in the Bible is, at the very least, for the children’s sake. You’re all so focused on the mentality na “magdidivorce lang yang mga yan para makapagasawa ng makapagasawa. YOU ARE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT, THE REAL ISSUE, THE REALITY THAT IS US.

It’s funny how I see your response to this post in my email but not on here. Did you delete it??? Hay nako. Napapailing na lang ako. If it appears on here, then I’ll comment on it as there really were loopholes in your response. Di ko na alam kung makitid or playing dumb. Parang the latter.

FYI. “Seeing first hand” is not the same as “experiencing.” Think about that.

Point taken Pastor. I was once in a happy marriage and always afraid and disagree with the concept of divorce. I was so immature to judge those who are in favor of divorce because they simply wanted to be free and happy. Not until I realized I needed one. I never wanted to stay with a guy who keeps on telling me that he doesn’t love mo anymore everyday of my life in front of my innocent child. Keeps on insulting me and reminding me of my imperfections. He doesn’t go home everyday, if he goes home, he’ll sleep just to avoid me. He tells my kid he loves her, but just her, not her Mom! It’ s been going on for a year. my poor kid will cry everytime she sees me cry. I just want to get out of this but see, I would need a lawyer a psychiatrist and a bunch of money. Can you help people like me get out of misery? Sure you can’t! And don’t you ever think that divorce is selfish for the family. What’s selfish is hiding the truth from the family,my daughter until she hears it from someone else.

Hi Bianca! Was sad to read your story. I can’t give you personal advice especially that I don’t know the overall situation (from both parties). But I just want to ask you a question, what do you think will divorce give you? Sure, you will be “legally” away, and have no obligation at all with your husband anymore granted that we have divorce in the Philippines. But my question is, do you think divorce will really give you freedom? Do you think divorce will give you happiness that you want?

Please know that I never judged those who are wanting divorce. I certainly understand them and my sympathy is with people like you. And it also doesn’t mean that because I am anti-divorce, I don’t love people who are in your situation. The fact is, I have ministered to a lot of problematic relationship that resulted to annulment, separation and even abandonment. But I have never seen that divorce is the solution to these problems. Believe it or not, many of them have repetitive problems even after annulment and separation. It still lies to the couple in a relationship on how they value that relationship and their family. Please note that I said, “couple” not just you nor him, because marriage is about 2 people becoming one.

My name is Larry, I live in Australia, and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring wife, with two kids. A very big problem occurred

in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife. So terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce. She said that she

never wanted to stay with me again, and that she didn’t love me anymore. So she packed out of my house and made me and my

children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back, after much begging, but all to no avail, and she

confirmed it that she has made her decision, and she never wanted to see me again.
So one evening, as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to

her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never

believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she

visited.{greatbabalajaoracletemple@gmail.com}.
So the next morning, I sent a mail to the address she gave to me, and the spell caster assured me that I will get my wife back.What an

amazing statement!! I never believed, so he spoke with me, and told me everything that I need to do. Days later, so surprisingly, my

wife who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was

how she came back, with lots of love and joy, and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children.

Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster.
So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {greatbabalajaoracletemple@gmail.com}, if you are in any condition like

this, or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back or your relationship is about to crumble.
So thanks to Great Babalaja Oracle Temple for bringing back my, and brought great joy to my family once again.
{greatbabalajaoracletemple@gmail.com},
Thanks…

I agree with Pastor Vince, Nhene and all others as much as we should we have the word of God to guide us through this life respecting each other we need to tell others why we see things differently so that their decisions may be based on facts. the person you want to divorce and throw out of yr life needs you, the challenges that are making you sign a divorce certificate are just temporary misunderstanding. If only one shed a little understanding, patience and acceptance you may find yourselves in a peacefull situation again. When you got attracted to each other, that attraction was natural that it drove each of you crazyly in love and you decided to spend your life time together, on every long journey, people get thirsty, hungry and tired but when some refreshments are received and a little rest people continue the jouney and till the end they rejoice. Dear brother or sister out there, what you are lacking is not love but some refreshments to give you strength for a fresh step. There are no angles to get married to here on earth we are all human bound to stamble but when the truth is made clear challenges would be over come and you will understand why we say NO DIVORCE

Hi everyone. I know this is an old issue, but just the same I would like to state my stand on it. I’m actually thinking about going pro-divorce with specific clauses under it. I understand that should divorce be legalized, it may give irresponsible people of the way to abuse it. Rather, lay out specific restrictions to only who can undergo divorce under very valid reasons. Thanks for hearing me out:)

Of all the folks here, with such a short post, you seem to not only make the most sense, but are the most inquisitive.

My heart aches for women, yes, even Baptist women I know with Baptist husbands, being beaten and abused everyday. Having a close mind on divorce kinda like says hintayin mo na lang mamatay ka, dyan ka lang. In my case, though, I was not a battered wife. But my son was. :,(

Divorce is not an escape-goat thing nor does not signifies a weak Christian life..rather facing the reality of life that not everything we had committed on our past are certain but just a fruit of our immaturity and a diversion of our emptiness during our young ages.That now, as we get older and was a mold into a better person making wiser decisions, we have come to realize that everything was a mistake that were wish to correct before its too late for us.Everybody deserves chances and everybody deserves to be happy. Definitely, this idea will not hinder our Christian life as long as our intentions are pure ; rather will take us even more closer to God, by submitting our weaknesses, repenting, building a new life with someone new whom you Perfectly believe that is truly meant for you. Remember that aging is Wisdom.and as we age, we wish to manage of correcting our faults; the wrong Marriage and we could decide for better and for best.

Right, the Bible doesn’t support divorce I guess. But what was it god said about adultery? Oh yeah…..straight from god’s mouth to Moses:
” Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”

You didn’t really need divorce when your wife cheated back in biblical times now did ya? God’s solution was pretty darn simple…..and much cheaper than divorce.

I would have to say that since it is no longer acceptable to whack your wife for cheating, which was in a sense getting rid of your wife, divorce seems to be much more a modern, humane, way of dealing with adultery. But hey, if you are against the humane way of dealing with it I say let’s bring back the godly way (wracking people who cheat)…..since you are all about god’s “word”. Don’t pick and choose which “words” benefit your agenda.

Congrats to those who have their marriage until now and maybe forever. Inggit ako sa mga ganon frankly. But be aware my friends that sometime things we do not wants to happen is a thing to happen and be ours one without expectation and contribution to it. It so hard losing your better half but believe me. It will just come sometimes like a thief at night. Noon ayaw ko rin ng divorce but after saving my marriage for almost 30 years now. Do you think it is still reasonable to die with him in my heart and mind? If he is happy out there in any manner why not me? Does it mean if you are divorced you can not be a God believer anymore and hindered to attend the mass? All other countries (except Thailand, Ghana and few others) are more blessed compare to Philippines where divorce already existing many years ago? Let’s say this is not the Will of God, yes. But in real life it is needed. At least the law of the land is in favor to it, after all, wala namang pagkakaiba. Palitpalit din naman ng babae ng lalaki kahit walang divorce. Pinaguusapan lang why, it’s not legal! Nasa tao na yan kung aabusohin nila ang divorce! if you love a person though kasal nga kayo o hindi magwuwork din, di ba? It’s a long story, maybe complicated too but I really loved my husband before he was my true love and my ideal man. Of all the men in the world i felt he is really alone for my choice. But remember it takes two to tango. And it’s hopeless already as i could see. So now apparently I’m go . . . . to DIVORCE!

My ex is a drug addict and pusher since we started and had couple of kids which he had one of my children killed, due to a reason of him being paranoid that it is not his son. In Philippines if you don’t have enough evidence no one will take your care seriously even there’s a dead body it’s difficult to prove especially if witnesses refused to testify for you so nothing will happen. Why would I be stock with a man like this? We individually has right to be free and if we chooses to be with someone else that is our choice but it doesn’t mean we have to put up living with someone we know it’s a big mistake…We deserved a better life especially if we have to bring up our children on our own.

@Maricar. I really sympathize with you with what had happened. And your husband must be a very irresponsible guy.

But since we are in the issue of divorce, you yourself said that it was a “big mistake”. Why? Haven’t you seen what kind of man he is when he was still courting you? Haven’t you investigated who he is when you are not yet husband and wife?

Yes, you do deserve to have better life. And should have had a better life if you have been careful enough in choosing your husband. But I am not blaming you or something. I am just emphasizing “our responsibility” to choose the BEST husband that we can ever have for the sake of our readers and the younger generation who will be reading this.

In your case, I think divorce is NOT the solution. If you believe it’s a crime, then it should be litigated by our criminal law.

@Kailash… You should check Stats on morality and violence against women and children in other countries such as US and Australia. See if these rates are down. If it’s not, then DIVORCE is NOT a solution.

This is wrong and completely insane idea not to give divorce. Chirsanity is the best religion in the world and freedom is always needed. This is very bad If Philipines wants democracy and development they have to make bill passed allowing divorce. This will make all woman of philipine will be happy. LOGIC BEHIND not given to divorce is nonsence. I am from Nepal and We have also same culture like philipines but this is really not scientific in 21 st century. Please Jesus provide Philipineas divorce Law passed Then this country will flourished and developed country like UK and Japan. Thanks.

While I do respect most of your opinion… I do disagree with “Dapat hindi rin nakikialam ang simbahan sa mga ganitong desisyon ng pamahalaan.”

First, Divorce is NOT JUST a national issue, it is ALSO a MORAL issue. That alone is enough reason for the church to say something.

Second, you have said it, “dadaan ito sa due proess”, part of this due process is consultation to the citizens of the Philippines. Are we NOT a fellow citizen? Kung ang mga militante nga may pakialam, lalo na ang simbahan na nagtuturo ng morality.

Third, is the church not entitled to its opinion? This is a democratic country.

I believe in my personal god, my personal jesus. But this anti-divorce bill sucks bigtime. God gave us free will. From there, we can decide whether to end our marriage or not. I feel that this country is being bullied by the Catholic church. By Jove, that they experienced sad marital stories especially wives getting
beaten by the husbands.. Of course not, cause they cannot relate to what’s happening inside a married life! As for those with happy marriages, God bless you. With or without the divorce law, you can go about your daily happy married lives. Unless, you are anti divorce because you are afraid that your spouse might file divorce once the law gets passed. Lol. Shame on you. These women who push divorce have counseled more than a handful of women who needs real sympathy. Not the emotionless sympathy you type here. Oh yes, btw, my husband cusses and beats me up when he visits my daughter and i here in the philippines. He is an ofw who had an affair with a married pinay for more than 3 years. My daughter is even the one pushing me to find her a new daddy who wouldnt beat me up in front of her and curse me. She is 7 years old. Beat that! I am so for Divorce even ive read that it wont be passed within 6 yrs time..

i do disagree that this divorce bill shall not be legallized, it is never an option to help a relationship of a married couple, it just only destroy everything. if ever this bill is been legallized the holliness of a marriage in our country, will be gone! people nowadays has no control on themselves, they can do everything what they want, the importance of marriage will be lost, although i am a high school student i knew that this bill could never ever gonna help our society specially (married couples), it just only allow people to be married over and over again^^
we should dwell on what our ancestors taught about how to appreciate and protect the importance of a marriage. LOL thank GOD i found this website it clears my mind^^ haha we’re going to have a debate tomorrow about this bill, yeah i know what im going to say. NO TO DIVORCE BILL!!!

Yes,i agree with divorced bill..
why?
i’m separated almost 6yrs.
My ex husband now is living with her mistress and we have 4kids living w/ me.
He is happy with his new family and have kids w/ there own.
Yes he give an allowance w/ the kids but can’t afford them to go to collage ….,its just enough for there foods but sometimes not…

The question is …how about me?…i will tie to our marriage forever …cos there is no divorced in the PHIL?
I want to get out of our marriage to face a new life and re married again to the man i newly love!
But how?….i’m poor i can’t afford the annulment then …it is infidelity or my ex not perform as a husband to me…and what if not granted by court because infidelity is not valid reason as i read in this column…
For me marriage is a bond that should be kept if you can’t keep it don’t commit to it simple as that.
At the same time you have to understand how the Philippines functions or more importantly how its dysfunctional in many ways when it comes to love and marriage.
And its unfair to those unsuccessful marriage.

In my case my ex husband now is happily living w/ her mistress….so i deserve also to choose what i want to do in my life.
I want to re-married again.
If anyone here can help me(we were married in municipal mayor) ..i will be happy but i don’t have money to pay.
I just want to live happy and peaceful with someone i love now…but because i’m married its a hindrance to us,cos i want to make it legal to go into new relationship.
I hope there is someone here can help me!!

@Lorna. Hi there!!!
Sometimes it was really a pain to have made a mistake in the past and now we are suffering because of it. But, are you really sure marrying “again” to another guy will be you better and happier?

Then, if it is, you and your new husband to be should invest something on it. You said you are poor. Then again, if your husband to be is also poor and is not even willing to do his best for your annulment, I think you need to think twice because marrying him will not solve your financial needs at all.

The lack of divorce law in the Philippines is not actually a hindrance… but a blessing to you. So that you will be more careful in choosing your partner. Hope this gives you some wisdom. Blessings!

ever consider not every marriage in annullable? what if the church doesn’t find any reason the marriage wasn’t valid in the first place, what then? she just has to try and make her ex leave his current and abandon the man she loves? think, mcfly, think

Pastor, I think divorce should be legalized.It is more traumatic to the children involved.For example, it would hurt the children to see his parents fighting and killing each other.The child would blame himself of course.so number one reason is ABUSE.
next is ADULTERY.if there is divorce cheating husbands and wives would be obviously lessened.why cheat and sin if you can have a new husband and start a new life.
next is ANNULMENT.since this is already legalized why stop divorce?and since our economy is already going down and most of us filipinos are poor and the annullment cost is high how would they be able to break free from their living hell of marriage?
I know that marriage is a holy sacrament but does god really wants a loveless marriage full of hatred and pain?why not marry again and REALLY make it a holy one.
next point is DEMOCRACY.we are free people.philippines is a free country.do not enslave us from a marriage full of pain.thank you.
i have a debate tomorrow(3rd year high school-15 years old) 🙂

@Claire
Please read “Jestine Salonga’s” points. They are very helpful in understanding the relationship of economy and divorce.

You said, “does god really wants a loveless marriage?”

My question is, do we really have to blame God for our irresponsible choice of who to marry? Believe me, there are more people who wants divorce because of wrong decisions to marry someone that they though they love only to find out that marriage is not just about “feelings” nor sex, nor comfort.

Please, do not blame God for that. We are the one who is enslaving ourselves to situations that we do not want. And then when problem comes, after realizing our mistakes, we want to escape from it and then blame God? So that’s? Make a law for something that will just gratify our cravings? Those people who are addicted to illegal drugs love to do it, and they enjoy it a lot… why not propose to legalize those drugs as well to make it dignified?

Democracy…. yes we are democratic. And we have the right to have a divorce free family. A family valued at the very beginning before marriage, A family where mom and dad love each other even before they got married. And that’s how we should value marriage. If we only value marriage, there is no such thing as a loveless marriage.

yes it’s man moral duty and obligation to know and till the truth. but divorce is not necessarily destroy morality.corruption, abortion,cheating,adultery or concubinage,and others destroy morality. I am a guy but i give sympathy to innocent victim of adultery and abuse. Many innocent husband or wife suffering but still looking for a good one….who are really love them.

nasayang yung mahabang tinype ko for a comment., 🙁 anyway., I’m anti-divorce., but your way of persuading people is not commendable Your reasoning dwells so much in the Bible., I too, am a Christian and have read the Bible myself., But people nowadays are not as religious as they were before., my reasoning dwells on the science and sociology., did you even bother researching about the reason for the global recession that started in the mighty USA. that could’ve helped your argument., Three studies state that the recession was a product of divorce., The foundation of family in the USA trembled before the legalized divorce in their country., it destroyed the foundation of the family and destroyed the foundation of society., If the basic unit of society is “disoriented” so will the country it resided. The comment that was lost is 2 hours worth of typing., pity. I’ve discussed a lot of things., anyhow., NO TO DIVORCE.

@Jestine, Your comment was not lost… it was only held for moderation. But you should see it now.

I am glad that you are anti-divorce and thank you very much for clarifying that science and sociology aspect and divorce. That’s really a help.
However, I must clarify that the post is not intended to persuade people. It is intended to open our eyes of the reality that divorce does not help. Furthermore, this is a religious blog, so you cannot expect that this will be more scientifically inclined than religiously inclined.

Yun lang nakakatawa minsan because people tend to forget that this is a religious blog instead of an ordinary blog. LOL.

Anyway, please know that I do appreciate your views. This helps a lot. 🙂 More blessings!!!

Actually, it is my firm belief that the BIble is never outdated. It has provisions for everything we go through, everything everyone in this world will ever come across. And yes, it has provisions on divorce, too. Funny why you don’t see them here. See John MacArthur’s book Divine Design.

As a Filipino citizen and a daughter,can I ask you why you prefer divorce over annulment? The majority of Filipino marriages is in the point of failure and marriage is the only thing that keeps a family together. It’s completely selfish!!! You only consider the feelings of the two people who started ‘the family’,what will happen to the ‘family’ if their parents got divorce.Philippines is still the Philippines and we dwell in the cultural values and custom traditions our ancestors taught us. The Philippines together with the Vatican is the only country without divorce.It make us unique.

That’s exactl\y the point! It’s not just about money (in fact, it’s not about money AT ALL. And not love, either, but, as the Bible says, two people glorifying God in their marriage) But your comment made it seem like it was just about the money, as if the money factor will be a deterrent for couples to separate. Knock knock, open your eyes, you know it’s not.

@isa sa milyon milyong… I can see that you really want to get rid of your “marriage” with your husband. At the first place, you should have not entered into it. Yes you are right in saying that the Bible speaks on divorce. I never disagreed with that. I think you can even see that in the post and some comments. However, that is just a provision because of the hardheadedness of man. The main point of the passage is that, God is not glorified with marital conflicts that results in divorce.

The main point Ms. isa sa milyon milyong… is that, people need to go back to what the Bible is saying about the basics of marital relationship and practice it wholeheartedly. Please note that it should happen on both sides, man and woman. Kahit sa side mo, if kung ikaw ang mangangaliwa, it’s basically the same thing. Your husband will want to get rid of you.

I hope you are getting the point of the post. We DO NOT need divorce. We need moral recovery and the desire to go back to what is right.

Lots of people are attacking me personally instead of my views. Some are even trying to discredit me. But believe it or not, I have ministered to a lot of cases like yours already. I know how hard it is and how painful it is. But there’s always hope if the offending party is religiously willing to work it out and the offended party will open their heart for reconciliation. I have seen reconciled marriages, and I also have seen totally wrecked marriages. Hindi po makitid utak ko… Hindi rin sarado mata ko. In fact, it is wide open that’s why I can tell that divorce is NOT a solution to the growing problem of marital separation, divorce and annulment.

Annulment is similar to divorce, yes. But they are not, in totality, the same. Harriet, annulment signifies that a marriage never did happen. It dissolves the marriage completely. Yes, it kinda sound more negative than what most people know about divorce. But there are certain grounds for an annulment be recognized. And it’s far too long to discuss it here. Try and see the Philippines’ family code article 45. Anyhow, divorce also has certain grounds. But there are three, if I’m not mistaken, types of divorce. And one, and the most hideous of the lot, is the no-fault divorce. This type of divorce is what I’m pertaining to when I said in my previous comment that divorce would reduce marriage into a mere sexual permit. I implore you to do your reading about what you’re promoting. You might regret it when it’s finally come at hand and reveals it’s true nature.

I badly want the divorce bill also. Divorce Bill is very much ok for people like me who are already separated , living alone, and want to build another family again. it is not self centered, its a helpful way to find my own family and happiness in life. BE OPEN MINDED and BE REALISTIC!!! I some family are not haapy anymore so why live together? just to say that the family is intact? its a lie. a family should be happy, why suffer if your not happy anymore? we are not living in this world to spend a lifetime suffering. so divorce bill is a very helpful answer for a hell life.

The reason why one can easily say that you are self-centered is because we are here to decide about what is good for the entire country, not what is good for you , because of how you look into your personal affairs!!! got it ?

@Pawel… it is not what is good for me… it is what is good for the country which you never get a hold of what we are saying here. The country does not need divorce, it needs moral recovery. Got it??? And please stop the personal attacks. If you do have an opinion, share it let others know it without personally attacking me else if you cannot do that, then it just proves that you are not even analyzing the view so that you can learn from it. And please take note that comments with personal attacks will strictly be sanctioned and weighed if they are worth publishing.

The effect of the divorce in our country is so bad that our country cannot hold on it. Others are thinking that marriage is only a contract on papers, but what they feels when the time they were bounded together as one in marriage. It is in the real feeling of Love that makes you inspired. It is a vow of love and devotion that a man trying to convince a woman he is the right man for her and promises of unending love. But now when the wife becomes fat and bulging due to the children and love of husband, A certificate of divorce will be awarded to her.How ungrateful the proponents of this bill are.

You will never pull that off, Only countries that have managed to do anything like that on a national level are Theocracies. Are you suggesting a theocratic government, of course not, as most of us would not care to live in such countries.

What your article doesn’t address is the current status quo. Like the Church is raises a lot of hoop lah, but falls short of any real answer. Your basically demonizing divorce, which I agree isn’t always the best answer, but you don’t address repetitive Infidelity or Dead beat husband/fathers. Hate to tell you this, but morality is pretty set in most individuals by a given age, Educate them while they are young, but for the time being, the cheaters and the dead beats need to be dealt with. Divorce is preferable to being stuck in a marriage like that.

@pastor, i just want you to know, na 4th year student po ako, and it would be a great help, kung malalaman ko po, ang mga sources nyo or yung mga references nyo, i just need it for our debate. kung okay lang po ay bigyan nyo din po ako ng mga sources, Thank you! and GOD BLESS!paul´s last blog post ..Where We Are Now On Facebook

Again, here you will see that Divorce NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING EXCEPT for self-gratification that one is free from the legal obligations of marriage, NOTHING ELSE.

It DOES NOT solve violence against women and children.
It DOES NOT solve poverty.
It DOES NOT solve marital conflicts. It just separates the couple legally, but NOT solve the conflict.
IT DOES NOT promote better family.
etc.

It allows one to escape from a broken relationship to form another one. But still there’s a HUGE percentage that everything repeats by itself simply because MARRIAGE is NOT A PROBLEM. The main problem is, ungodliness, liberalism, lust, and violence that plagued our society. That’s the reason why we have TONS of domestic problems.

You need to read further study. See what type of Divorce does those countries with high divorce rates have. Divorce on demand or Divorce on default? Big difference between the two. This is a hypocritical view on the issue. This does not make any reference to the proposed ground and process to get divorce. Don’t mislead by giving wrong information. Read the bill first and make your analysis from there since that is the issue, not your view on divorce.

How about analyzing it yourself and answer my questions:
1. Did divorce stopped or at least decreased cases of violence against women and children?
2. How did divorce helped solved poverty?
3. How did divorce helped both parties (husband and wife) became better person after divorce?

You know, I can give you a lot of questions used by most of these proponents, but please help me get some results before you tell me I have the wrong information.

@Ivy, I think you are out of your league. You should respect the opinion of other people. The next time you post a comment like this, I will block you out of this blog. This blog is a religious blog and you should respect it. Nobody is acting as hypocrite here. If you cannot accept the opinion of others, go and search a pro-divorce blog and there express your opinion and probably your emotion. Furthermore, refrain from attacking other people verbally. Post your opinion, not your anger for the anti divorce. After all, you probably have had so much anger from your experiences in relationship.

I will only tolerate this once to make an example of non-helpful comments. Your other comment has already been turned down and deleted. Hope you understand and learn to respect other people’s opinion.

You are right god did not ordain man to have a divorce, it is the wishes of man, but reading further, he did not imposed his will but let the people have their own, because god is not a dictator, at the end he will punish those who committed transgression against him. Divorce in my opinion is an option for marriages that cannot be further reconciled by both parties, specially if parties are no longer respecting one another and has totally there marital obligations to one another. It can be used against those couple who were forced to marry a person he/she really did not wanted in the first place to marry. It has pro’s and con’s, immorality is all over the place, but just like any issues in life and politics, the person must be given that option, and deny him not that option. Because at the end of the day, God will punish us for the sins with committed against him, not by the sins of others, for it is written the sins of the parents cannot pass it their children. Others may revoke me and insist that god look into the sins of the generation who has committed it unto the 7th generation (pardon me if i cannot totally cite the version in verbatim), if in case, i may answer it before hand, to what generation and people did he told it?, those it include the generations of today?, I firmly believe that God is a just God, and he will measure us to deeds that we made, again, not by other people. God is just and he is not a dictator, he wanted his people to obey him voluntarily, if this was not the intend he should have not send his only son to redeem and save those who believe in him.

i am married to a guy who is a drug addict and irresponsible. No job, hobbies are sleeping with bitches, habitual lying, stealing my own money which i worked really hard for us to have food in our table. We almost got arrested becoz of him coz he is a drug dealer. i gave everything, even more.. .coz i used to believe still have the chance to change.. .but being with his mistress now, never showed up after he got out the rehab, going back to drugs, bringing that girl in our room, hiding our wedding picture? isn’t it too much? is it not being immoral? i am young and a brighter future ahead of me. should i just let the marriage destroy my life and choose to stay with that type of person? come on guys, let’s be sensitive to the feelings of others. we don’t have a perfect marriage like everyone has.

people never knew how hard to be in that situation… they can only judge what is right or wrong… wish one of their family will experience it… destroying women’s life… men are allowed to do bad things…and women must live to their bad luck… men can do immoral things which is accepted by the everybody, then the woman must wait until the man will change… do u think there would be a chance to a man who is enjoying exploiting his wife? i don’t think so… no one will pay his gambling, his addiction, and support his mistresses…

in the case of abuse, God will allow divorce. but of course, again, God didn’t want divorce in the first place. it is because of the hardness of men’s heart that God allows this. God cries when man and wife can’t reconcile. It’s usually because of selfishness and inability to commit to right behavior.

reason why i would want a divorce i want to live happily for the rest of my life not the person that i married because of the likes of my parents thats why the court must agree with the divorce here in the philippines

I agree with you Mae, and I am pro divorce, I happen to find this blog because I’m hardly looking for the best solution for my parent’s problem, last night they were in fighting again, it’s an unending drama at home where my papa always hits my mama on the face or anywhere that in her body, since I was young at age 3 I have always seen them fighting brutally, I love my mother and she have tried everything already to find solution to this problem, there’s the time when we go to the doctor and have a medicolegal report after their fight as my mom’s body was full of bruises, and wounds, that’s not only happened at once, today was our 4th time we did it but maybe will be the second time that my mother will file a case against my father…I hate my father, really hate him, so if it’s divorce will be an answer to all women who have the same problem, I would be glad to say YES to it! divorce is a freedom for me, a freedom that every suffering women would rather like to have than legal separation.

Hmmm… your dad should really go to jail. I am anti divorce, but I am not proposing that when a man is battering his wife, the wife should stick to his husband. You should pursue your case against your father if that’s the case. Do not hesitate to do it.

About divorce as a law, it may allow you to scape your problem, but it does not resolve any of it. Your father has to go to jail, because his violent treatment to your mom is a form of abuse which has to be dealt by the law, and that can be done even without divorce.

Well, let’s say that the wife already filed a case against her husband, it could only be slight physical injuries to less serious physical injuries. But in the case of Emmanuel’s mother, since she had only had minor bruises and wounds it might have been slight physical injuries (physical injuries which incapacitated the offended party for labor from one to nine days or required medical attendance during the same period) which is punishable by arresto mayor or a minimum of 1 month and a maximum of 6 months and that’s according to Sec. 6a of Republic Act No. 9262 (Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children
Act of 2004). And if the husband is already in jail and even if he is sent free after 6 months, why is there still a need for them to be married? They have physically, d emotionally and psychologically hurt each other and yet they are still committed to each other because of “bonds” of marriage. Divorce is not only for people to have freedom to look for another husband or wife or “freedom to try marriage” but it is also freedom from all the physical, emotional and psychological pain that troubled relationships bring to each party. And marrying after a divorce is ONLY an OPTION. And that because you have that OPTION, you will take advantage of it. Of course, we all have our personal values and philosophies in life and you will always consider these in making major decisions in life. So I guess this also answers your argument that divorce will bring down the moral standards of the Filipinos because at the end of the day, a person should stick to his personal values and beliefs whether we have divorce or not.

What happens with women who suffer from abuse by their husbands? they don’t have the right to be free? Anyone who supports your point of view is nothing but a monkey. So narrow-minded. It were Spanish whom gave you Christian religion, so if those hadn’t ever gone to that island, what would have been your ‘culture’ like? I don’t know why all this theather and acting , for all these years I’ve come to realise you are one of the most hypocrite people in this world….c’mon, you always try to evangelize everything and look like saints BUT it’s is know worldwide PH has one of the highest number of prostitution, girls engage in sexual activity on average at the age of 12 and you also have those old women in the HIGHEST part of society (they are supposed to be a pure role model to be followed by the female youth) who acknowledge themselves as a Saint Virgin to her public face, meanwhile they are using her money to buy young men and have sex. Why? because divorce is not allowed. But something tells me, that even if it was allowed, the situation still stinks. As all these things are CLASHING with CATHOLIC MORAL.
So please, stop pretending you have something to be proud of. You know, a little bit of self-criticism doesn’t harm, it isn’t like if you were the chosen ones in this huge world, is it?
Peace.

thats a good article u wrote, alot of people dont thing and want to punish a woman by making her go thru an annulment and making her get a mental doctor test. thats pure crazi where half of the philippino population is separated, and also u have to know that catholic religion is not christain, but philippino congress doesnt care about progress of philippinos only there pocket, if the congress did they would of pass the law for divorce without going thru all the hassles and all those outrageous fees and takes forever

This is a democratic country, and I’m speaking to this Pastor who had been saying no to divorce. If you don’t want any law to be passed, then go and find yourself another country. We should respect each other’s view and opinions. If the Divorce law pass then it is the will of the majority. This pastor just want himself to be seen a holy man, so why don’t you focus on the corrupt officials as well? Put yourself in harm’s way for the sake of the people and not just on this Divorce Bill. If you don’t want it then be a martyr for yourself. You don’t have the right to to say too much against the bill, are you saying that you’re the best mind to be followed? If it pass then accept it, it’s the will of the majority of the people.

“This is a democratic country, and I’m speaking to this Pastor who had been saying no to divorce. If you don’t want any law to be passed, then go and find yourself another country. We should respect each other’s view and opinions.” — I don’t see any respect of opinion from you on your side and you are also speaking against yourself when you just stated this is a democratic country?

“This pastor just want himself to be seen a holy man, so why don’t you focus on the corrupt officials as well?” – Why work on personal attacks??? To be seen and to work on holiness, isn’t that what should every Christian do? As what the Bible says; “Be holy for I am holy (Lev. 20:26, 1 Pet1;16)” “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. (Eph.4:1)” Please note that Apostle Paul is not even referring just to me, but for “EVERY” Christian. So….. State your opinion on the matter.

“You don’t have the right to to say too much against the bill, are you saying that you’re the best mind to be followed?” — I thought you just said we are in a democratic country and we should respect each others opinion?

“If it pass then accept it, it’s the will of the majority of the people.” — The problem is, it hasn’t been passed. And if it will be passed, rest assuredly my respect will be on it, but it doesn’t mean I am switching side. But for now that it hasn’t been passed, my article is my argument why should it not be passed.

STOP your personal attacks and go to your point “Why should we approve of divorce”. Plain and simple. I am not claiming to be an intelligent person, and perhaps you are by FAR more intelligent than me (ONLY that you don’t know how to state your arguments and instead resolved yourself from attacking me personally). But I am voicing what the Bible say about morality and divorce. After all… this is a “democratic country”.

You have an argument there, but then not everyone in the country thinks the same way you do about divorce. You mentioned that “For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce.” I’m sure that you, like many other people, will agree for divorce once your marriage goes haywire. More importantly, divorce is not forced upon anyone who experiences domestic problems. It is a choice. Not all divorced people will attempt to do it again and again. Divorce may be the solution, and if other people choose to abuse this right, then it is in their conscience and faith, not yours.

I’m guessing the people who are against divorce are in a happy marriage or never have been married. I hope that they will never experience anything like an unhappy marriage, it is absolutely one of the worst things in the World to happen to a couple (family). When 2 people are no longer seeing eye to eye it is time to separate or divorce….as terrible as that may sound.

I’m not sure where this person is getting his facts from, but anyone can write misleading information just to get what he wants. There are good & bad sides to all things in life. We are all here for only a short time (life). We will all make many mistakes & hopefully learn from the mistakes we make.

I feel their is no right or wrong answer to this problem, but being a divorced Man myself I can say that not only am I a happier person….so is my Ex Wife. Yes the children & Family structure will suffer (sorry to say), but I have seen some terrible children coming from Families that have stayed together in a loveless marriage.

So to stay together to work things out, sometimes you just can’t work things out. Divorce is necessary as is Marriage. No right or wrong answer. on this topic. Everyone trying to fight the good fight….who will win & who will lose. Divorce is to generate money to the economy…..so be prepared for divorce to take over very soon.

I don’t understand why God would want to preserve a loveless marriage when its more harmful to keep the marriage intact than for the marriage bond to be severed.

I’m sorry but everytime I hear an argument that begins with, “It is not what God wants”, my ears fall off and my eyes go blind. How can we be so certain what God wants? Are you really that superior than everybody else because you know what God wants? Are you God’s prophet now? At the end of the day, we are all accountable to Him, it’s not up to someone claiming to know absolutely what God wants.

We should just open our hearts and minds to people who are suffering, that is what Jesus would have done, and any Christian for that matter would have done. Let us not impose our “superior moral values” to others. Respect other people’s decision. You are not in the position to judge whether what they are doing is immoral or moral because you did not experience the suffering and pain that person went through. Respect!

@Ptr. Vince, Do you know anyone personally who committed suicide because their parents are divorced? My cousin and his brother and sister is perfectly fine, my Aunt who had been separated from her husband had been working more eagerly to help her children and her to rise, and they’re far more richer than us who have parents who’s staying together. And I know a lot of people who have divorced parents and they’re perfectly fine, academics, socially, everything. These statistics are biased.

Good for your aunt. But it doesn’t mean that the situation of your aunt is the same with other people. And please don’t ask me if I know people who have been to deep poverty because their parents have been separated, because I do know people.

If the statistics are biased, can you cite “statistics” that are not biased? Perhaps you can send us the link. Thanks in advanced.Ptr. Vince´s last blog post ..Get Your Tattoo Removed Naturally

I’m really feel so sorry about your experience… And I myself is saddened with these kinds of stories. You are not alone. There are lots of people who have this kind of experience.

Nonetheless, for those of you who are in abroad, or is planning to go abroad, we counselors never and do not advise that you go abroad alone. Bring your wife with you. Go and work together rather than working in abroad alone. As much as possible, work in the same country and stay at the same place. Family comes first money will follow.

You see Jojo, some things happen in our lives because of wrong decisions. Do not make another wrong decisions as a result of the first. I hope you will be thinking deeper.

I understand clearly your hurts. But divorce is never been a pro-family. I can see that you love your family but what you hate so much is what your wife did. Divorce will never be the answer for your hurts.

then what’s is the answer to his pain? never kayong advice na to go abroad? is that a realistic situation? knowing that most of Filipino ang mga ama nasa abroad while nasa bahay ang mga ina nag aalaga ng mga anak. dalhin ang pamilya sa abroad? pwede ba yun? usually nasa mid east yung tatay ang knwoing walang family immigration duon. if you never advice to go abroad alone then you don’t know the real Filipino family settings. there was one point that you cited that many children commit suicide because of broken family? may statistical facts ka ba? as a worker in dept of health parang wala namang stats na maraming bata or teenagers nag cocommit ng suicide? hindi realistic ang mga adices mo ang kahit isang point walang kang natumbok sorry to say. your aices is not actual nor factual. i am against divorce but the way i see how you tackle the issues of those people who come for your advice kahit they see you as someone who knows a lot,as you project it, but walang clear na helping point na kahit maging basihan man lang nila sa future decisions nila. sorry but the more you write here the more you sell yourself and the anti-divorce campaign. wag kag pikon pastor =)

@Friday…. Hmmm… you seem very knowledgeable in your comment… So what do you do to make it the situation more realistic since my advice as you say is “not realistic”? At ano naman kaya para sayo ang “katumbok tumbok”? What then can you give that are “actual” or at least “factual”?

Sorry Friday, but if you just commented for the sake na makapambastos ka, well, your future comments will be deleted. On the other hand, please make some comments that are “actual” and “factual”. 😉 This is a place for serious talk… not a bystander’s talk. 😉 I hope hindi ka rin pikon… Your future comments if it will not add to the value of subject matter and instead you will be insulting me or anyone else in this thread, will be deleted. So please add value to it.

Sorry for public rebuke. But really, don’t bother to post “senseless – personal attack” comments again, because you will never see it published. You will just waste your time.

If you are pro… explain why… If you are anti… explain why. It will be accepted. But if you will post insulting remarks and personal attacks, you are the one selling yourself. Wag ka ring pikon sana. 🙂 Blessings!

Married to One have kids By Many!!!!!!!
on October 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Its amazing that for all your words that each one amount to how stupid you are…
Take your wife with you, dont make me laugh, the last time I remember he work aboard because you dont have jobs there in the philipines. So after 20 years on working abroad to support his family and while the wife is there with man in his house spending his money, eat his food and lying in the bed with his wife, all you can say is “I am sadden by that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wake up and stop drink the wine, so the man comes back now and all is forgive and now hes happy life goes on. Wow only a fool would say that and I hope he read this. Jojo that is the most and worst kind of this disrespect a man can get. I am for divorce and you are a good case. remember this man of God here want say that your kids are in the next room listen to there mom disrepect dad each nite while you are working hard to support them.

Stupid? Is it really stupid to desire to bring your wife abroad? Well, I think it will be more stupid if you will not even try it. I know many couples who did went abroad together and have been very successful in their marriages as well as in financial terms. Well… if you are really thinking that it is impossible and don’t even want to try it, then you are far more stupid than me.

Infidelity happens for various reasons. But these are the common reasons:
1. One of the spouse or both do not love each other anymore because of differences.
2. One spouse was tempted because the partner is far and is no longer feeling the love and filling in the need of each other . This is the case of many OFW’s.
3. One of the spouse was tempted because of the lack of moral convictions where most of you guys despise the church for pursuing the “moral standards”.

There could be more reasons… but these are the most common. Tell me, are these things really UNAVOIDABLE??? Now, if you are calling it “STUPID”, then I really don’t know what kind of thinking you have.

All of us are experts at practicing virtue at a distance !!!! Everyone are so judgemental !!! nakakatawa kau lahat! wala kasi kau sa kalagayan ng mga taong may problema sa “MARRIAGE” na kanilang pinasok. All people has its own circumstances. Wala kayung karapatan mang husga. Everybody has the right for the pursuit of their own happiness. Huwag niyo ng isama ang Diyos dito or ang morality.

The world is full of fools and faint hearts; and yet everyone has enough courage to speak about the misfortunes of others, and wise enough to manage the affairs, of his neighbors. “

@John, I really don’t see any kind of “panghuhusga” dito. If it is “panghuhusga” to say that “we need to save our marriage.” , “we need to value our marriage”, then alin ba dito ang hindi panghuhusga? People commit mistakes… that’s normal. But for the anti-divorce side, what we are just saying is we need to value family, value our marriages. It is actually an encouragement for us to have a better family.

God and his moral standards are the basis of a strong marriage and family relationship. The divorce issue is NOT just a social issue my friend, it is more than that. It is a “moral issue” it is a “Biblical issue”, it is a “Cultural Issue” and it is a “Filipino values” issue.

What I am saying is…. we can never disqualify God and moral standards in tackling this issue.

Tomo!!! We have to make the right decisions. Right decisions can only be achieved if, and only if, we would make our stand with God. Many people are making themselves fool by making a decision outside God’s teaching, then when they had experienced difficulties in the situations would blame God. Does God wants you to make that decision? No! It’s you who made that. I could say that, before enter any relationship esp. “marriage” (which is a lifetime decision), think over and over, and over again…not just on emotional aspect but have to look in all aspects esp. spiritual aspect of the person you want to marry. In addition, I think those people who do not want to talk about morality…do not really care if they will have a broken family and worst, that they don’t care if their children will have a broken family in the future. These people would really be pro-divorce! But if you want a lasting and happy married life..you would surely be anti-divorce. It’s just making the right choice of the person from the start. Just to reiterate, that person must be godly..must be God-fearing and God-loving person and you would be happy… 🙂

Every argument stated has something to do with morality, is it the FILIPINO way to be a wife battering, cheating man in the Philippines? Where was God when these women were taken out of their rights to live a happy life? God gives us choices and we have to make the right decision. Even the church believes in reconciliation, which is basically asking for a second chance. If Catholicism was so great we should trust it’s teachings and wouldn’t be afraid even if divorce was legalized. Saying no to it, just proves that Catholicism is against becoming modern because it will just prove themselves wrong yet again.

The philippine law gives alternative of separation like legal separation and annulment, does it really important to have divorce? Isn’t it more important for two people to separate than pass this divorce bill? If the divorce bill will be passed, i do not think the philippines is ready for it, because mostly filipinos are catholic and not just that, most of them are conservative too, whether or not you like it.

and how can divorce be prevention of the increase in population if a person can leave his kids, remarry again and have children again? come on, it is not that hard…

think pls
what if one of thé persons hurt thé other person bad
so you mean stay together and hurt eachother more so it will be better
come out of your fake dream and be real pls
sometimes people het married for thé wrong reasons so they have to het out of it
so stop hiding behind a bible and come to reality
i wonder if this msg will be printend
hope to hear from you

I think I already have answered this example. Kindly read the previous comments. Thanks!

What I don’t understand here however, is that there are people who says they are “Christians” and they believe in the Bible, “YET” wants me to take away the Bible for this discussion.

Divorce, brethren is not JUST a “SOCIAL” issue… it is a “MORAL” issue where the Bible should be the basis of morality? Right??? Else, taking out the Bible of the picture will be like putting out the BASIS of MORALITY. Tell me, why should I put out the Bible out of the picture?

Is it because the Bible is a “FANCY” representation and is almost a FICTION? Get over it guys… It is the basis of morality and it directs us in identifying what is right and what is wrong. Unfortunately, the Bible says Divorce is wrong… Sorry guys!!!

Let me give you a challenge, why not follow the Bible, do what it says…. everyone of you who wants divorce. Let me give you a verse, Ephesians 5:22-33… Live it out for at least 2 years. Then come back to this post and tell me what happens to your marriage.

Oh… you got to try that first and do everything you can to fulfill it. It is only then you will get your answer if you really need divorce. If it will not work out your marriage, please come back to this post and tell me that you MUST have it.

Want reality??? This is reality… this is what life is…

If you cannot do my challenge… it simply means that you “DO NOT” want reality…. you want to escape from the reality that marriage indeed in MOST cases can be saved. You just don’t want to have any effort for it.

The world is full of fools and faint hearts; and yet surprisingly everyone has courage enough to speak about the misfortunes of others, and wise enough to manage the affairs, of his neighbors.

Pastor Vince, with all due respect, Divorce is not about God, its not about morality, its about having a choice..being free to choose…to have the right to the pursuit of our own happiness…to protect oneself from the harms and dangers of marriage..from battering husband to the unfaithful wife..to the irresponsible man etcetera…everyone has a choice.

Jojo,
Once again, I would like to express my sympathy to what happened in your life. But you are wrong in saying “it’s not about God, it’s not about morality”. Family was instituted by God, where he created man and woman to become one. God owns the family. The family was not created just for you to be happy, but to glorify God. But sin creeps in and destroys family.

God instituted moral standards so that we can be guided on what we should do to keep that family. But again, it was the sin that continuously disagree and disqualify the moral standards.

I will give you a hint; what if your wife kept the good moral standard? What if she did not do it and she had been very faithful to you and to your family? Do you think you will grieve? Do you think you will say that you want to divorce your wife? I guess the answer will be “NO”? Why? Because she kept her promise, she kept that morality that you disqualify to be the basis.

So tell me, is it not really about good morality? Is not really about God?

Godly family makes a happy family. If husband and wife follow what God said, there will be no divorce, no unfaithfulness, no separation. And I think we ourselves need to focus in that area.

Believe me Jojo, even if you get divorced, if you yourself or your next wife does not follow the moral standards, you will always end up in grief and your family destroyed. That’s the reason why you will see lots of people (Americans, Europeans, etc) who have been divorced several times, and until now was not able to find the happiness that they are looking in the family.

If you want to be happy on marriage, follow the moral standards from the Bible, teach and lead your wife to do the same. If you are single, get a religious wife who does the have a high moral values especially about family, and you will have a happy family. 🙂

I do hope you will get a better picture of what family is all about. God bless!

If you really love one another, you will remain together loving each other forever. Divorce is only an option for those people who are into a very complicated situation. I guess it will be more sef centered if you will only think of your opinion because you’re lucky enough to find a partner who’s willing to spend the rest of his/her life with you no matter what. And I believe it is not fair to focus only on one idea without considering other ideas. Besides, you don’t need to fear for the presence of divorce in our law if you believe there’s love, trust, and respect in your marriage. I believe everybody deserve to find someone whom they can spend the rest of their lives peacefully and content.

At least understand what you’re talking about before making stupid claims without proof. And if you plan on providing perspectives from both sides, you’d better stay away from being prejudiced in the first place, and stay way away from being sarcastic. Dude come on. I have nothing against contradicting divorce. But if you plan on convincing people, I’d rather have someone else do it. Cause you’re reasoning, besides being completely narrow and prejudiced towards others (which is in the Bible NOT TO, see GOOD SAMARITAN), is completely disorganized and weak.

You make the Church look like an idiot. DUDE COME ON. PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, OR DON’T PREACH AT ALL. I don’t mean to be hating, BUT COME ON.

I did my assignment, and did some study about the issue… I certainly understand what I am talking. And I do practice what I preach and that’s why I am anti-divorce, because the Bible is always anti-divorce. You should read it so that your wisdom about the issue will grow.

I don’t make the Church look like an idiot. It is only you who wants divorce that makes the church an idiot. The Church and the Scriptures will stand in its moral standards.

Who’s narrow minded? Is it he who studied the issue and stand for what is upright and practice what he preaches? Or is he who keeps on babbling and hating other people’s stand without even studying and completely understanding why he is doing it???

I did my research too Ptr. Vince. I apologize for the excessive language used, sincerely.

But sir, if you indeed did the research on the topic, you have failed to balance out the argument by providing the side of pro-divorce, and then contesting it. I’m Christian also, I know what I’m talking about. I’m just saying, for a an article from the Church’s point of view, this article did not work for me.

This was inappropriate: It would’ve been better if you didn’t post this. Its an insult to the people who really do think about whether it works or doesn’t work.

Here’s the summary of the advantages of divorce:

* Spouses will have a “second chance” for a happier life.
* Spouses will have a “second chance” for a non-violent life.
* …. “second chance”
* …. “second chance”
* …. “second chance”
* to be happy…
* to be happy…
* to be happy….

My goodness… is there any solid advantages of divorce bill than being self-centered and selfish reasons??? What about your family??? What about your children??? That’s what family is for… Divorce is not only anti-Filipino, but is anti-Family and anti-marriages. It simply opens a wide range of disadvantages over the family.

This does not look like it came for research. You researched on one side of the coin, or have chosen not to provide the other side of the argument.

I’m not pro, nor am I against it, that is why I’m researching. Other articles have formed sound points about the issue, by keeping calm, by exerting effort not to sound all high-and-mighty. This article would’ve been more effective if the basis of the argument wasn’t on one-click American Divorce Stats found on every generic internet site, and if it wasn’t too Bible centric without the, If it too actually did talk more about modern day situations and contexts of the Filipino people.

@Raffy, I really do not see anything inappropriate in my post. If you only read the title, this is “An Anti-Divorce Stand” and therefore, you should expect that I already have put my decision to support anti-divorce, after all, I am a moralist.

I have seen all these debates…. and articles about it…. what else should I need to learn from the bill? It has its pros and cons… unfortunately, on the moralist point of view (like me) it far outweighs the disadvantages that we can get from its advantages.

Raffy, life is not just about happiness, but it is about obedience to the Scriptures and to the Lord. No theologian will ever stand that divorce is God’s will.

You call it “an insult to the people who thinks if it works or not”, but did you ever think that the law itself is also an insult to the Christian faith? I am simply expressing my stand about it, so as the pro-divorce on their side. But the question is, did I insult those people? Nope, I think not. I am simply rebuking them especially that I belong to the religious sector.

My challenge is very simple for those pro-divorce people, present us “REAL ADVANTAGES” where people can have long lasting benefit from this law where families will be united, where families will be settled, where families will be fed, where families will be nurtured. If they can present that, then I would probably change my mind.

But as for now, I see divorce as:
– anti-family
– anti-morality
– anti-Christianity
– and anti-Filipino

They said it protects the children… if so, then why is there so many cases of suicide among broken families?
They said it protects the women… if so, then why is there still so many cases of violence against women?
They said it gives you freedom… then why is it that there are so many cases of multiple divorces? What freedom do you need?
They said it is pro-family… but why is unfaithfulness became so rampant and cheating from their spouses has become a norm?

Raffy, divorce is NOT a solution. The solution is fear of God, and in-depth moral values. Read the Bible and it will teach you that you need to love your wife as you love yourself, so as for the wife should respect her husband (Ephesians 5). If these teachings will only be followed and be taught, and be lived out by each Filipino couple, you can expect a radical change of life. The true key to successful marriages is in the Bible. This has been the key since the ancient times, even so will it remain to our modern times. This principle never fades no matter how you viewed it.

Sometimes we are very skeptic against the Bible, simply because we are not willing to follow what it say and we think that reading it is NOT “IN” in our generation. That quoting Biblical insights is overly reacting and a stupid way of reasoning, and is being close minded…. No Raffy, the Bible gives a lot of solutions to our problems. Why don’t you try it? Read it, study it, and live it… after a year come back to this site and tell me if there is a change in your life.

By the way, you should understand that my website is a “Religious” website not a “Legal” and generic opinion website. It is a God-centered and Bible-centered website. It’s goal is to teach and to disciple, and influence people by God’s word… But of course, it is up to the people if they accept the Bible teachings or not. So, please, don’t expect that this will talk something good about immoralities even if it is legal.

Don’t expect that this website will say, Lotto is good because it is legal… nor “divorce is a solution” when it does not build families. You should know that. If you are really looking for a view of pro-divorce, then you can find lot over the net. This website is only one of the FEW who openly express that WE ARE ANTI-DIVORCE.

Abuse to women and children always they say when they talk about divorce but did they ever consider the feelings and emotion of the affected couple or family. Deciding to divorce is not that easy they need to consider many things if they are just living together without love is more pathetic because living together but having a having a relationship to other person are more sinful to the eye of God than separating and just move on. And when i read this part of article which state this “For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.”
I think the husband is not a Husband his was an abuser his not looking for love but for lust and abuse. Who was a damn man who’s from divorced will enter in a relationship just the same what he entered, of course he will choose a better relationship than he had the last time. And who’s this damn Woman that will marry a man which she knows is abusive. I think divorce had a bad and good effect to our Country bad in the part that we are a christian and family oriented country good in part that we will still live a second chance and move on living in a better relationship..
and please explained about the woman in the bible having a 7 husband.

This comment’s absolutely right. On my part, though, I don’t mind the fact it’s Bible-centric, to use your term above, as long as it presented EVERYTHING the Bible states about divorce. The Bible DOES have a provision for divorce but only on the grounds of infidelity/fornication and abandonment, espcially between a believer and unbeliever.

I totally agree with you Pastor Vince. I am Anti-Divorce. I am married and my husband and I love each other faithfully. Though people try to criticize our relationship because of our age gap, but I don’t care because all I know God gave him to me. Like other marriages, we’ve encountered challenges, problems and issues in our marriage but we openly talked with each other our feelings, and dislikes in a right manner, then we forgave each other and moved on. Prayer, love and understanding are the important things to have a strong relationship. Divorce doesn’t help to solve problems but it teaches immorality which contradicts to the principles of the Bible. Being an Anti- divorce it doesn’t mean I am hindering the prosperity of our country but NO! Divorce bill doesn’t help the property of our country.

Tomo!!! We have to make the right decisions. Right decisions can only be achieved if, and only if, we would make our stand with God. Many people are making themselves fool by making a decision outside God’s teaching, then when they had experienced difficulties in the situations would blame God. Does God wants you to make that decision? No! It’s you who made that. I could say that, before enter any relationship esp. “marriage” (which is a lifetime decision), think over and over, and over again…not just on emotional aspect but have to look in all aspects esp. spiritual aspect of the person you want to marry. In addition, I think those people who do not want to talk about morality…do not really care if they will have a broken family and worst, that they don’t care if their children will have a broken family in the future. These people would really be pro-divorce! But if you want a lasting and happy married life..you would surely be anti-divorce. It’s just making the right choice of the person from the start. Just to reiterate, that person must be godly..must be God-fearing and God-loving person and you would be happy… 🙂
🙂 🙂 🙂

People, Filipinos, nowadays lose their hope for our country and that, as I see it, is the second worst problem of our country — having the lack of discipline as the first. I, for, one, is not a hypocrite of my words. A lot of times people look at me as if I’m crazy, not crossing morayta on a green light, but I’m just abiding the laws and being a responsible citizen and people think and see me stupid. I really hope that you guys would not give hope up for our country. I’m far more qualified to go and work abroad but I stayed because I know that my people need me more. I stayed because I believe that with some aide, Filipinos would see that our country still has IT, we have hope still.

Divorce is one heavy subject to discuss. But as I see it, divorce would not help our country. Family is the basic unit of the society and divorce has the tendency to lower the foundation of a family. And a weak foundation of a family reflects a weak foundation of a society, more so, a nation.

Divorce is basically a broken vow. I value my words, my promises to people around me. But what I value more is my promise to God. The vows we say on our wedding days is not just a vow we make to the person before us but also a vow we make before our God.

Divorce would not serve a solution to marital problems but an escape-route. Marriage is not a game where you could try again when you lose, it’s a SERIOUS COMMITMENT. Don’t start a relationship if you don’t intend it to last, more so, don’t go into marriage if you’re not to keep it. I value relationships greatly — friendship, kinship or whatever relation that is, even rivalry. One should give time to know his partner well before going into marriage. Rushing things up never yields a good result. With divorce, marriage will lose its meaning. Marriage is not just a piece of paper, marriage is waaaaaaay far more than a piece of paper. THIS IS TO SAY THAT PREVENTION IS BETTER THAT CURE.
But is some inevitable cases, wherein people are already in marriage and facing a whole deal of a problem, here’s my answer to that. “A LOCKSMITH WOULD NOT MAKE A LOCK WITHOUT A KEY, AS GOD WOULD NOT GIVE PROBLEM WITHOUT A SOLUTION.” All problems has a solution. If it doesn’t, then it’s not a problem. As I to what I’ve said earlier, divorce does not serve a solution but a escape-route. Let’s us say that one managed to be divorced from an abusive partner then remarried. Having divorce as an option would promote escapism. With a smallest of a problem couple might resort to divorce and not try to solve their problems as loving and responsible partners would do. Then again, marriage will lose it’s meaning. Marriage will just turn into a piece of paper that will legalize marital act such as making love or having sex, a mere sexual permit.

As a matter of fact, studies tell that the global recession that started in the mighty USA was a result of divorce. If the basic unit of the society is not properly oriented, how would the whole nation be? Divorce then, posed as a threat to a country as mighty as the USA. Imagine what divorce would do in our society, the Philippines. It would certainly be tragic, devastating, even obliterating.

Anyhow, that is just my opinion. I’m not forcing my idea to anyone. Although, most people who had heard my reasoning towards divorce, even those who are promoting it, had a change of heart. They saw my arguments are not just Biblical as most Con-divorce are. I’m rational. And with my reputation with my colleagues, they cannot argue.

Hahaha… the video is nice to watch… But it was more like a joke as far as I am the one who’s watching it.

In the video, it flashes the causes of legal separation/ annulment application. Unfortunately, the fact remains…. DIVORCE CANNOT SOLVE THEM!!!

Divorce is like this: We have a disease in the body. And in order to take away that disease, we need to get rid of the body.

When we are united, we become one… so the body represents the marriage relationship. But it suffering from a disease. It has to be cured. It has to be treated. But instead of doing it, we want to destroy that body just to get rid of the disease.

Divorce DOESN’T BRING CHANGE. If it does, hundreds of thousands of couples in the world, even millions would have a better life. But no… another BIG FACT: LIFE GETS WORST!

Ang Divorce Bill ay isa sa pinaka walang kwentang batas dahil ito ay HINDI nagsosolve sa totoong problema. It tears down the basic unit of the society, it brings MORE INFIDELITY, it brings MORE immorality, it brings MORE POVERTY, it brings MORE suicidal cases… In short, it DOESN’T solve anything, but bring MORE PROBLEMS than solutions to our society.

People just want it because of an EASY GET AWAY for their problems. But get what??? Life is not easy.

Married to One have kids By Many!!!!!!!
on October 2, 2011 at 10:10 am

Have you live there lives???? You have no ideal of what you are talking about you sound very ignorant and you call yourself a man of god please you fool. You say one thing and when confronted with the very problem, from the womans who is abuse and beaten you answer earlier “I sympathize” That makes you a hypocrite. Is your wife beating you? I see now why you are against divorce maybe you are hiding something yourself.. If your closet door open what may spill out….

Personally speaking, I am a child of an annulled couple. My parents have waiting 10 years to seperate legally and it finally happened. I have no bias against divorce at all. Having divorce as an available option only strengthens the bond, because if the love of a married couple is true, even if the option of divorce is available to them, they will try and work it out.

Why do think we are the ONLY COUNTRY in the world wherein divorce is illegal? Are we morally superior to them and holier because of this?

No. We have a disgustingly corrupt government, increasing poverty and unhappy citizens. But it’s alright, our morals are backed up by the church right?

You have a point and I respect your opinion regarding this very controversial issue. I am a Christian and I have a very big faith in Him. But with regards to this issue, I think whether Divorce in the Philippines will be legalize or not, it doesn’t matter because the decision to sustain ones Marriage is still up to the two persons involved and what they believe in. And with regards to issues of moral and cultural Filipino values, I don’t think it will be a problem if from the start of a child’s life they were already taught strong moral and cultural values within the family.

i work here in Norway where divorce function well. walang pilitan,kng ayaw na ayaw na,move on. it really works. kids here are well adjusted, no pressures, no stress. i got married july of 2002, i am from visayas, while he is from luzon. i was 2 mos pregnant when he went home to his mom because he said he has to be on his mother side coz she’s sick. he has 4 siblings more who lives within the block from his mom’s house. that was feb 2004. he visits me & the kids 3 times within 18 mos,then the last time he saw the kids was apr 2007… i went here to work jan 2010, i keep on telling him visit the kids becasue they are asking about you, it’s just a plane away but still nothing from him. easy for others to say commitment & family counseling or whatever they can think of… to each is own, not everything is applicable to everybody so i think it’s about time we get in touch to reality & not be so emotional about life with all our dramas , move on & prosper. walang pilitan pra eveybody can live their lives, live & let live,simple lng un, kung ayaw na nila bakit nyo pipilitin eh malay nyo naman sa mga buhay nila kasi kayo masaya naman kayo sa buhay nyo. don’t be s negative,hinid pa nga na try, kaya hindi umaasenso ang pilipinas kasi we don’t welcome change. the government can’t take care of 99M population, anong problema sa prevention as long as hindi naman abortion ang pinag uusapan dito? bible is written in ancient times, may mga bagay na hinid na applicable dyan, i believe in GOD but let’s not be blind & hypocrite. open your mind, buhay nila yan so don’t be nosy & makialam. i feel i have to dissolve my marriage, my kids don’t have a normal family life either. having a father who doesn’t want to see for reasons i don’t understand. so how can i have a so called family is one member is missing? i don’t think i had a married life to begin with, i am alone in raising my kids, when one child is in the hospital i asked him to visit, no papa showed, the child begged him, nothing… one thing more, he SOMETIMES sends money. can you see any REALISTIC solution to this? thanks.

Hi Tin!
First, I sympathize with you. Life indeed is not easy. Life is hard, and someone unfair especially with others. Sometimes we do mistakes that we really do regret and we want to turn everything around. We want to be more happy than what it was before. We want to get away from the miseries of life. “Do not dwell in the past” this is what we always think.

But Divorce Bill is not a “SOLUTION” to marital problems. I am not saying that you should stick with your spouse that is hurting physically or emotionally. Though irreconcilable relationships does exists, Divorce is not really the answer. AGAIN, I MUST stress out that there has been NO POSITIVE results of divorce. It did not lessen violence against women, child abuse, and other things… rather it drags the people to “shallow” view of love and marital relationship where they view sex as something only for pleasure.

Yes, you are right, the Bible was written in the ancient times. But the “MORAL VALUES” it teaches especially about love is not bound by time. It is immortal, it is UNIVERSAL.

For sure, you do not want your children to have a broken family someday. For sure, you still hope that they will find the best partner for them. But that’s NOT gonna happen if you will support divorce.

WHY???

Simply because it teaches people to be more immoral and teaches the children to have a shallow view on sex, relationships and marriage. AGAIN, there is nothing positive about divorce, only a disillusionment of freedom from the past.

I do respect your stand… it’s up to you. But I’ve seen more people who ended up marrying not just twice but multiple times than just simply correcting what went wrong in the past.

Traumatized??? What could be more traumatic for children who commits suicide??? Stats say there are more children who commits suicide whose parents were divorced than having an intact family. So what does this mean??? It simply means that divorce is not really the answer.

Furthermore as I said, we really can’t stop couples from parting ways if they really chose to. That’s why we have legal separation and annulment. It’s basically other terms for divorce as far as the expert of the law said. The only difference is that it is more difficult to justify their separation which will most likely give the couple more opportunity to re-think and re-try their marriage to work out.

One thing that we need to keep and understand as Christians is to VALUE OUR MARRIAGE and our VOWS. Now, I really don’t believe that we give that value if support laws like this.

The Bible is strong in its stand, GOD hates divorce. ONLY MAN wants it that’s why it was allowed. Our stand should be on God’s side. Now, if you are not with Him, then you are against Him…. Divorce is divorce… Yes it can be forgiven, but why would I encourage couples to consider it? I will never do that.

I do understand people who have been through tough times. And I don’t condemn them from being separated. But again, it is not a reason for me to encourage them to separate their ways, but rather I would encourage them to follow God’s word of love and respect between spouses.

To summarize:
Divorce is too secular, too carnal and unChristian. It is NOT A CHRISTIAN WAY…. and I would say it again, IT IS NOT A CHRISTIAN WAY to encourage divorce. If you are a Christian pastor, a Christian Counselor or Minister and you are PRO-Divorce, then I would say you are standing on a shaky grounds theology and morality. No theologian could ever say that God “loves” divorce… not even close to say that it is “God’s will”.

is that so.. given a situation that a woman is beaten by the husband and is also raping his children or harassing them would you still stand protecting a marriage that is already harming the children, with all the domestic violence that are already happening woman have the right to stand up and dissolve the marriage that is ruining the life of her children or vice versa.. divorce is not just to ruin marriage and pure negative lets also open our minds to its positive sides… divorce is not also just given to those who want it it has a process. you are anti divorce why not dissolve annulment. anyway they are alike by all means have you ever thinked about it

Nobody is saying that a woman has to stay with her husband basing on your description. But I really don’t think that divorce is the best solution for that problem. The point is, people want divorce as an ‘IMMEDIATE SOLUTION” for marital problems, which I really don’t agree.

Even though many people say we need to be “OPEN MINDED” for divorce…. the GIANT Fact is…. there is NOTHING POSITIVE about divorce.

It DOES NOT:
1. Satisfy Biblical standards.
2. Satisfy cultural values.
3. Help marriages.
4. Promote family – it DESTROYS Family.
5. Build confidence for the children. In fact more children commit suicide and more children becomes PROBLEMATIC children and then later on becomes the problems of the society.
6. Help economically. In fact more people was added to the poverty level.

If you took your ass out of your comfy, sheltered life and actually considered the possibility that maybe some people are just plain incapable of being in a committed relationship, maybe you’d see where anon is coming from.
Citation needed, please?
On all of your claims?
From an unbiased source? (Unbiased, meaning the Bible does not count.)
BTW, using capslock and a large amount of “!!!” does nothing to make your point more valid. It’s the equivalent of shouting in a debate, which makes you look and sound ridiculous.

You should really read John MacArthur’s Divine Design. Even he found it a pain to declare the Bible has provisions on divorce. But because he has the responsibility to lay down everything the Bible says about a topic on the table, he did. You are presenting only what you want to, not what the Bible is entirely saying. You are cherry picking for your own purposes.

” if there’s any confusion about the subject of divorce it is not due to the fact that God has given us a confused picture in the Bible it is due to the fact that so much sin has entered into the world that it has confused the simplicity of what God has said. God is very clear in the Bible about the issue of divorce.”
~ John MacArthur

It sound like you are hiding something? What about the priest who have traumatized the children to kill themselfs after being sexually assaulted, this is a church control situation and you know it. You will have the same cycle repeated itself over over over again. So I guess you have a church full of sinner that hate each other but along as they are is your church!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is ok…

Cmon!!! We are living in a modern world. Children with divorced parents are fine like children who has both parents. So you think it’s better to traumatized children everyday while parents are fighting everyday living their pathetic lives together? Children are children, they are not stupid! you want to traumatize them over over and over again because their parents can’t get a divorce? Cmon people, being narrow won’t get ph somewhere… I say traumatize the children once and if they end up crazy, then there are shrinks who need jobs. I myself came from a broken family, and it would sadden me if my mom stayed with my abusive father.
Duh, if course it would never heal the wounds, but at least parents can move on and be happy. Modern world, don’t be narrow 🙂 yes to divorce!

Where there is an abusive spouse/partner, there may be a season of “therapeutic separation” where the objective is to ensure the physical and emotional wellbeing of the victimized spouse and any children, while the abusive spouse receives help to deal with his/her issues. I know of some marriages where this happened. I am sorry you went through what you did, Maui, but I do hope you someday realize that God can definitely and actually change people and turn marriages around. Peace to you. 🙂

Nobody is saying here to force a couple to live with each other without the love factor. The point here is all about the ease of making the decision of separating from each other. Having a divorce bill will never heal the couple from the wounds of their failed relationship.

About the kids, I guess you will have to do some research about the detrimental effects of divorce to children. And I assure you that the disadvantages outweighs the advantages you get for your children in having a divorce. So I guess you will need to erase that for a good deal of reason.

As what the article says, divorce is more on a self-centered idea of solving a relationship problem. It’s all about gaining “MY LIFE” from a wrong and careless decision of the past.

Approve divorce and you will see a landslide moral degradation of moral and biblical standards and values.

It will be more sinful if we force the two persons to reconcile despite the absence of the love factor. It will be deliterious to the family and leads to more unhappiness and psychological trauma and stresses to the kids seeing their parents quarrel everyday.
Divorce is good to help them relieve of that stress and also protect both parties legally in their own personal safety and interest. Dont be mistaken that divorce is done only because they want happiness since more and more people now do not choose to remarry after an unhealthy married experience. They only need divorce decree to recapture that previous life that was stolen from them out of a failed marriage.

Dear Ronald, love is a decision and commitment; it is carried out through actions. True love is not limited to the level of feelings. That is exactly why GOD–who is love–continues to love us despite our faults and failures. I have read about, and personally known many marriages, where it was getting the right help–counseling for the family, and perhaps on an individual level for the husband and for the wife; a commitment to GOD’s word and faith in His power to bring about healing and restoration–that made it possible for marriages filled with hate and stress and fighting to be turned around. As the children see the changes, it is a powerful message of hope and life and love to them, and they grow up being better able to enter marriage with a clear view of what it entails, and how beautiful and enduring God designed it to be. The “life stolen” can be restored…not by divorce, nor by a new partner, but by God. Blessings to you. 🙂

I think that it is about control and ignorance, this is not about the people is about the church losing control and that is far from it. It is a male driven attitude. Think about it a man can leave his wife in the philippines and be with many women and have many kids by these woman, and care for none. And the woman with no help from the man are the church must just pray that peace will come. But In the mean time they go aboard to work as someones maid to be abuse and look down apond like aminals. And wasting there lives aways while the man sits back in the philippine and have more baby to replace the women whos lives are dead as they live. I quess the purpose of man there is to make laws that keep it cycle going forever..But remember thoses same men will answer to god. But remember life has ups and downs and when a chance comes along that can change the womans and her kids life she has no chance because the life she must suffer, it stop her and then she die never being a truly happy woman in gods eyes….

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between 2 people that create kinship.To choose a good partner,we must decide a million times so that in the end we will not put in a situation that needs a divorce because absolutely in can affect the children.I am a product of a separated family.It is so difficult to live w/o a father.Every time that a father’s day comes,you’ll just sit aside and got envy w/ some kids bonding w/ there father.I absolutely don’t agree,DIVORCE…..sorry……..

Romans 7:2 ESV
“For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

for knowledge, it will pass away. … ”

Luke 16:18 ESV
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery”

1 Corinthians 7:39 ESV
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. ”

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Matthew 19:2-9 ESV
“And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” …

Ptr Vince, may I have your permission to copy your article and permission to send your article to my friends and permission also post it in my Facebook account? I want to echo your article to as many friends as I have, because this is also my stand, NO TO DIVORCE LAW! I want to openly campaign against Congressmen in our district and senatoriables advocating pro-divorce law. Di ko Lang po kc maarticulate ang gusto kong sabihin sa mga friends ko as much as you have expressed it in your article. So I will just ask your permission that I be allowed to copy your article and quote you as the source.

Ptr vince, i agree with all that you said. I have a friend in the Congress and he said that “after the passing of the RH Bill, itaga mo sa Bato, Divorce Law ang kasunod nyan, it will be legalized 3 years from now.” I was alarmed. You are right, walang pakundangan na ang pagpasok nyan sa marriage and get away with it easily. I’m a mother of two, ano na Lang ang environment na gagalawan nila in the future. Divorce is not the solution. Jesus Christ is the answer. Then moral recovery will come in. I knew of a couple who were separated for 20 years, they come to know Jesus, nagkabalikan sila, now they are both in their 70s happily serving The Lord.

Thank you again for your article. You are a blessing ptr Vince, God bless you and your family.

@Janine Jimena-Perez. Please do what you want to do with this article, just leave the link or at least my name on the article. Share it to your FB, copy it, share it to your friends, etc. The more people who reads it, the better.

Let’s stand for righteousness even in marriage or in the plan of marrying someone. 🙂