In the presence of alcohol (homemade Sangria* the drink of choice on this particular night), I ask the hard-hitting questions to my Tinder matches. Some take it better than others. Sorry? *I had a watermelon left over from a work event (don’t ask) and I chopped it up and put it in wine. Sangria!

Context: I had been talking sporadically with “Gentleman” on Tinder for a couple weeks. Our conversation had sort of fizzled off, but I restarted it in a moment of boredom (waiting for the Metro, classic) and we decided to meet up for lunch at Lyon Hall on a Wednesday. Before we begin, I would like to say a …

Context: This dude wasn’t cute, but I swiped right on him because his bio promised to tell me what celebrity I look like. He wasn’t helpful. Also, gentlemen, “Pasty” is not a nice descriptor of a pale girl’s skin. Porcelain, fair, ANYTHING else…

Context: I had been talking to “Yelp” for a little while on Tinder, and he asked me out for dinner on Monday night. I was sick on Monday, so we ended up getting drinks on Saturday at Screwtop, a wine bar in Clarendon. I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but M, L, and I have …

Context: “Skydiver” and I exchanged a few messages on Tinder, and he asked if I wanted to go swing dancing with him and some friends on Saturday. My heart said ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY but my head said “Woooah Nelly, you already made plans and you’re a beeotch if you break plans for a Tinder date.” So, we decided to …

Context: Hey compadres! Remember how I said I liked someone?! Let’s call him “excuses”? Well, yeah. So that’s over and done with, and lord knows I love to slander Tinder boys more than Kanye loves Kanye, so let’s get this show on the road. Feel free to share your asshole stories in the comments and we …

Context: I had been talking to “Boob Man” for about a week via Tinder message and we had a good banter going, so I agreed to get dinner at a local pizza place on Monday after work. However, as mentioned before, I actually like someone now, so this was solely for blog fodder and free dinner. …