“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 34: Lauren the Stalker, The Shadowy Guy, & The Man on the Toilet

Lauren hasn’t left my apartment which is really strange. We spent the day in bed together Sunday, fucking, eating, getting high. She is so hot, why would I even think of asking her to leave. But I never asked her to stay. Yesterday I figured she’d leave when I went to work but I came home and she was there and cooked me dinner, basically pasta because I didn’t have much. She spent the night again and now I’m at work.

My dick is sore. My balls are sore. The maiden Lauren, is a ginger whore.

I don’t think of asking her to leave when she’s there because she’s gorgeous and has a body that makes me a slave to lust. But when I’m away from her, I think I want my apartment to myself again. I want to dance to The Gorrillaz in my underwear, pick my nose, and fart at my leisure. I also miss jerking off, believe it or not. I like that intimacy I share with myself. My dick and my hand have this codependency thing going on and they’re out of wack (hehe) lately because there’s been a significant lack of need for self pleasuring.

Some things have happened since she’s been there. First, Sunday night Randy came pounding at my door. We ignored it and pretended I wasn’t home. I was going to answer it but Lauren said no and pulled me back down against her naked body so yeah, how I was I supposed to deny her. But in a way she turned me against my nature to be both a lover and a fighter, not just a lover. Eventually Bob from downstairs came out and told him to leave or he’d call the police. Randy left and hasn’t come back.

Then last night Lauren told me that she had been wanting to meet me for a long time. She told me she had been following me on Facebook and that we were friends. I was like, well I’ve barely even been on Facebook in about a year or so. She said yeah but she sees my friends tag me and stuff and she just kind of knows about some things in my life because of my friends. That’s how she knows me is strictly through Facebook, and she’s wanted to meet me. Makes me feel like kind of a celebrity. Makes me feel a little freaked out too. She’s kind of like a stalker maybe. A hot stalker. Her body is like porcelain, it’s smooth, and fluid, and creamy, and her nipples are so pale, almost the color of her skin, and silky, and yes she is a natural redhead. She doesn’t have many freckles and she has pure blue eyes. But whatever, so she went somewhere that Randy announced on Facebook he was going to. Good job dumbass. She encountered him there. This was sometime last weekend after the Ayla thing. They’ve been hanging out a lot and he assumed it was more than what it was. She didn’t want to come right out and ask to meet me, maybe because it would reveal she’s a freakin’ stalker. But she only hung out with him to get to me, which is both cool and strange.

So yeah, go figure, I’m getting sick of sex. I didn’t even think that was possible. I haven’t been drinking or drugging as much and my hands are really shaky. I went in the bathroom here at work a minute ago out of habit for jerking off purposes. I opened my pants up and looked down and I just couldn’t do it. I was like sorry man, my dick was so limp it looked like it was weeping. This is a tragedy.

Then, of all times, the Shadowy Guy appeared while I was in there. I was at the urinal saying “sorry man, you’re on your own, don’t be sad” and he appears behind me, I saw the reflection of him in the mirror, so I know he’s not a vampire. I turned and he was gone. I said, “All right you bastard, get the fuck out of here, give me a little privacy will you?” Then I hear the toilet paper roll, some rustling, and the toilet flush.

This guy comes out of the bathroom and says “Sorry” then rushes out. I was going to say not you, but he left in such a rush I couldn’t help but laugh. Besides, he was too much of a pussy to take the time to wash his hands, so fuckim. He took off real fast and I just laughed.

Then I started to think about life and how one event leads to the next. If it wasn’t for Lauren and the Shadowy Guy, I wouldn’t have had this morning’s chuckle. These are things I’m grateful for. And is someone really a stalker if you only kinda want them to go away? I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

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