Gossip Girl

Apparently trying to avoid being swallowed alive in the annual fall glut of new programming, The CW announced that it will wait until October to kick off its new season.

The CW rollout begins on Oct. 2 with the Season 2 premiere of “Hart of Dixie” and continues through Oct. 19 with the return of “Nikita.” (The CW previously announced that “America’s Next Top Model: College Edition” will premiere Aug. 24).

As we all know, everything old is new again — especially on TV. And so next week, we’ll be treated to a new “Melrose Place” on The CW, which has already regurgitated “Beverly Hills 90210.” As for me, well I’m anxiously awaiting the 2028 remake of “Gossip Girl” starring the daughter of Tom Crusie and Katie Holmes.

These days, whenever you open a newspaper, you get smacked with a great big misery pie in the face. Layoffs. Foreclosures. Wall Street meltdowns. The Oakland Raiders. On and on it goes.

And turning to television doesn’t often ease the gloom. The season so far has been a clunker. Ratings are down and viewer unrest is rampant. Meanwhile, quality shows such as “Pushing Daisies” get killed off, while dopey debacles like “Knight Rider” inexplicably live on. Bah, humbug.

But why continue to dwell on failure and mediocrity? After all, the holiday season is upon us â€” a time for comfort and joy. And so we’ve decided to put the depress-o-rama temporarily on hold and devote this post to nothing but positive vibes.

Here, then, are some reasons to smile and to hope â€” some reasons why we continue to love TV:

— The good guys still prevail. And in difficult times, that’s apparently what we want to see. Thus, while other networks struggle, CBS is thriving with its “comfort-food” menu of basic procedural cop shows both old (the “CSI” franchise) and new (“The Mentalist”).

— HBO has put the complete seasons of “The Sopranos,” “Deadwood” and “The Wire” out on DVD in snazzy sets with plenty of extras. These shows represent some of the best television ever â€” and, yes, they would look great under the tree.

— The value of sitcoms may be plunging faster than the stock market, but “The Big Bang Theory” is proof that the genre still has plenty of pop in it.

— Aussie actor John Noble continues to make Walter Bishop, his loopy-yet-creepy mad scientist on “Fringe,” one of the most entertaining new characters of the season.

ABC, which recently axed three dramas from its roster, has a lot of holes to fill so get ready for the arrival of “Castle” (March 9) and “Cupid” (March 24), and “The Unusuals” (April 8).

“Castle” is a light mystery-drama starring Nathan Fillion (“Firefly,” “Desperate Housewives”). “Cupid” is a remake of a short-lived 1999 romantic comedy. And “The Unusuals” is a new cop show featuring Amber Tamblyn (“Joan of Arcadia”) and Harold Perrineau (“Lost”).

ABC has also announced that ” Primetime: What Would You Do?” will debut Jan. 6. It’s a hidden-camera reality show — something I know we’ve all been dying for.

Now we really know why The CW didn’t send out advance screeners of “90210” to critics. The show is turgid, listless and pretty much DOA.

And it gives me no great joy to say that. I was looking forward to two hours of frothy fun and nostalgic vibes. Instead, the remake of Aaron Spelling’s escapist teen fantasy gave us meandering storylines containing soapy plot points we’ve all seen before and lots of young actors who looked good but failed to pop. Even the relentlessly hyped reunion of Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth — which took 90 minutes to arrive — felt flat and feeble.

Can you feel it? The new TV season is almost here. In fact, NBC premieres the reality series “America’s Toughest Jobs” tonight. And next week brings the debuts of “Gossip Girl,” “90210,” “Prison Break,” “America’s Top Model” and a few others. So we’re re-airing this comprehensive list of premiere dates, which have undergone a few changes since our last post. Have at it:

I’m feeling neglected and ignored these days. Why? I’ve been knocking “Gossip Girl” from the moment I first saw it and, still, The CW hasn’t seen fit to use any of my quotes in their new ad campaign. No respect, I tell yah.

The network has been embracing some of its harshest critics by taking their quotes and using them in those titillating billboard ads that have gotten so much attention (See: the aPARENTLY Speaking blog). One, for example, quotes the Parents Television Council, a watchdog group, as calling the show (and/or its ad campaign) “Mindblowingly inappropriate.” Another quotes the New York Post’s assessment: “A nasty piece of work.”

So where’s my ad? Maybe I’m to blame. Instead of simply calling “GG” a “bad” show, maybe I needed to spice up my quotes sort of like this:

It’s interesting that the PTC President is rolloing with the punches, just as The CW is with its ads. Tim Winter told Cynthia Littlejohn of Variety, “Normally, we have to pay for our outdoor advertising. We’d be thrilled if every network used our quotes about their programming to describe it in their ads.”

Yes, we admit it: We’re sort of shameless here in TV Freak Land. Any time we can devise a post that combines the words “sex” and “TV,” it brings joy to our hearts. And so we were highly inspired when we spotted an Entertainment Weekly Pop-Watch item which asked readers to name the TV sex scene that “left you breathless.”

Great idea! Why didn’t we think of that?

Ponder for a while and I bet you can come up with some memorable steamy scenes. How about Sawyer and Kate (of “Lost”) in the polar bear cage? That one sizzled (See the film clip above). … Or Buffy and Spike on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (Wow!) … Or Meredith and Derek in that little room on “Grey’s Anatomy.” … Or Maddie and David finally doing it on “Moonlighting.” … Or Chuck and Blair on “Gossip Girl.” …

And is it fair or not to include pay cable, where the sex scenes get extremely hot? Mary Louise-Parker in “Weeds” has had a couple of scenes that nearly melted my TV screen. Then there’s “The L Word” and “Queer As Folk,” shows that have (had) sex on the brain.

If you have anything to add, please do so. It’s all in the name of important research, of course.

Here at the Freak house, we never complain when someone else does some work for us. That’s why we’re very happy to piggy-back on TV Guide’s latest photo gallery: TV’s Naughtiest Characters.

It’s a collection of those colorful TV personalities who love being bad — people like the gardener-chasing Gaby of “Desperate Housewives,” the rebellious Maxie of “General Hospital” and the relentless man-whore Barney of “How I Met Your Mother.” The list also contains Chuck Bass (“Gossip Girl”), Charlie Harper (“Two and a Half Men”), Samantha Jones (“Sex and the City”) and many others.

Check out the list to see if you agree — or if they’ve left anyone out.