Seniors reject language gaffes

When elders express what they think, they don’t mess around. Responding to a column complaining about improper grammar and pronunciation by TV talking heads, several readers wrote about expecting more from people who “are supposed to be professionals.” Judging from the number of emails, it seems that TV personalities aggravate elders about as much as flimsy hospital gowns (previously a major complaint). Apparently many elders regularly yell corrections at their TV sets.

Elders don’t object to regional dialects used by nonprofessionals such as “warsh” instead of wash or “squarsh” instead of squash. That’s the charm of our country’s diversity. They object to misuse of the language by media professionals, and objections go beyond my main gripe of “FeBUary” instead of “FebRuary.” The following are just a few of the common grammar gaffes sent by readers.

We celebrate VeTERans Day not “Veh-trans Day.” We honor the “troopS.” There’s no such thing as a single troop; it’s one soldier, one Marine, a reader points out. We drive to New BraunFELS not “New BraunSFEL.” Get books from the library not “li-berry.” A jeWELry store commercial should not tout its “JULery”or “JULry.” “Disappear” is a perfectly good word; why say pretentious “went missing”? Even “Realtors” mispronounce their own professions as “realAtors.” What happened to the word “me”? It’s not “Jim and myself” or “him and I.” “When did the floor become the ground when you are indoors,” asked an emailer, “Nothing ever falls to the floor anymore, just to the ground.” One reader “cringes” at “asterik” instead of “asterisk” and verb abuse — “None of the boys are …” (is not are) or “Each of them have …” (has not have). We graduate “FROM high school,” not “graduate high school” and we are “in THE hospital” not “in hospital.”

“I blame it on the Brits,” another reader wrote. “Forever, they have referred to groups in the plural as in 'The Home Office have messaged us.’” (has, not have.) 'U2 have started a world tour’ should be 'has started,’” he wrote. Also, “We used to stand in line; now we queue.” He concluded, “There is nothing we can do about linguistic changes. Change is inevitable; annoying but inevitable. Language is a living and changing entity. Always has been, always will be … as much as it annoys us.” He plans to “hold out as long as possible to OUR vernacular.”

Print media didn’t escape (not “eXcape”) criticism. A reader wrote “The XYZ Club can hold all the meetings ITS heart desires but if I read that the XYZ Club will hold IT’S (meaning it is) meetings, I’m liable to tear out my hair.” Classified ads amuse her: “For Sale, 22-inch girl’s bicycle.” (Very small bike for a very small girl?) and “Help Wanted, Psycho Therapist.” (For a Halloween fright house?)

A reader who enjoyed the griping opportunity read about a stress study in which “nice seniors” who internalized frustration didn’t live as long as those who complained loudly. She wrote, “Cantankerous old goats DO outlive the sweet old things.”