Paul Harris, right, and James Griener have been together for 40 years and collected their marriage licence on Thursday. Photograph: Chris McGreal for the Guardian

Paul Harris has spent the past 15 years issuing marriage licences in Vancouver, Washington, but throughout it all has been deprived of the right to marry his partner of four decades. Until Thursday, when Harris finally got to sit on the other side of the counter as Washington issued its first marriage licences to gay couples after the move was approved by a popular referendum last month.

"On the way to work I was thinking of all that's happened over our lives together," Harris said of the 40 years he has spent with his partner and soon-to-be husband, James Griener. "The resignation of a president (Richard Nixon), landing a man on the moon, 9/11, the election of our first African American president. You know, we have been together for a lot of time. But to be able to get a marriage licence seems surreal.

"When I finally sat down on the other side of the counter for a change and had one of the staff issue a marriage license it just hit me that this is real. My emotions took over at that point and I couldn't hold back the tears. I call it man tears."

Harris, who wore a white rose in his suit to mark the occasion, stood at the door of the Clark County marriage licence office welcoming the 34 couples who arrived by mid morning, well up on the usual traffic.

They included Susan Deen, a building repair specialist for the city, and CJ Joyce, a customer service representative, who have been together for 14 years and plan to marry on Sunday, the first day permitted by the new licences.

"It's mind boggling," said Joyce. "It's very special because I didn't know I would ever be see this. I'm 64. I grew up being a homophobe. It's a very big deal."

Joyce handed over $64 in return for the licence and a ceremonial certificate. "Thanks for doing this," she said to the clerk. "I can't say how happy I am." The clerk replied: "This is a fun day. Everybody's happy."

The all round delight at the Clark County marriage licence office was in stark contrast to the introduction of another Washington state ballot measure on Thursday – the legalisation of possession of small amounts of marijuana – which was shrouded in uncertainty and confusion.

Although it is now legal under state law for anyone over 21 to possess up to one ounce of the drug, there is still no legal means to buy it, and officials were grappling with how to administer the new law without falling afoul of national legislation. Federal officials have gone so far as to threaten to prosecute state bureaucrats who facilitate the sale of the drug.

The referendum authorised the state liquor board to administer marijuana shops along similar lines to the sale of alcohol but it's expected to take up to a year to get that off the ground. In the meantime there is no legal way to buy the drug except with a doctor's certificate through a medical marijuana dispensary.

But owners of legal dispensaries are keeping a low profile after one in Vancouver was shut down by federal authorities after publicly praising the new legislation.

Plans by supporters of marijuana legalisation for "smoke ins" in Vancouver were nixed by local health officials who said they fell afoul of cigarette smoking laws and a provision on the new regulations that only permit the use of marijuana in private.

The federal government has warned colleges they risk losing government funding if they permit marijuana use on campus, even in the privacy of college dorms and housing.

Still, Vancouver city council this week authorised the growing of pot in specific areas, mostly industrial zones, for medical use.

Local police departments are also treating the new regulations with caution. Mitch Lackey, police chief in Camas, which neighbours Vancouver, told the city council last month that he will continue arresting people for marijuana procession until the federal government says whether it will move against the Washington law.

"It's ridiculous," said Matty Hoffman, a mechanic who said he will not be deterred by the lack of a legal marijuana outlet. "The people of this state voted and the federal government should respect their wishes. If the police stop me they will have no right to ask me where I got my stuff provided it's not more than an ounce. So they'll have to catch me in the act of buying."

There is no such uncertainty around gay marriage after it was passed by the Washington state legislature and affirmed by the referendum. That's a relief to Harris and Griener who were married to each other once before, in neighbouring Oregon in 2004. But the Oregon supreme court struck down the gay marriage regulations a few weeks later and so their marriage was annulled and their money refunded.

Harris was not confident the voters of Washington would endorse gay marriage.

"I expected it to fail. When they told me, I said: 'Are you sure? Are they having a recount?' No, it's real. I thought: oh my God. The people in the state of Washington affirmed this. It's because attitudes are changing in our time. It's because we're not as threatening. We're not looked at as people who are deviant and shouldn't love each other. It was just an absolutely momentous moment," he said.

Harris said he did not go into a civil partnership with Griener because he felt it smacked of discrimination.

"I didn't want to settle for anything other than full marriage," he said. "We did not know that it would ever happen. I think in order to be included in society, and not just be on the fringe of society, I wanted to be included."

Deen said she feels that at last the stigma she has lived with much of her life is falling away.

"I think the US is growing up because the younger generation these days don't mind. They just don't care. President Obama has children who ask: why can't they (gay couples) get married?" she said.