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When it comes to love and relationship some people are controlling the relationships so much that it can be hard to recognize them for what they are. There are some romantic movies and novels that are telling us that real relationships are all about obsession and that people who are truly in love have no boundaries or separate lives. Being manipulative or controlling the relationship aren’t real and true love. There are times that we thought having an abusive relationship is the only thing that matters but you don’t feel that being manipulative and controlling is a sign of unhealthy relationship.Most cases, it’s all about control and taking away your independence or freedom. Being controlled by your partner can damage to your self-esteem, make you fearful and having doubts about entering future relationships, and leave us emotional wounds that we shouldn’t have to deal with.

But there are plenty of relationships that are more one sided. A controlling man may be overprotective and to the point of unreasonable jealously or try keep a tight power with finances and be constantly telling his partner the right way to do things without ever really listening to their ideas. Early of the relationship both of you have the power or balance each others ideas. There are turning points that you won’t believe that your partner is already controlling you. How can you know that your partner is manipulative and controlling?

Disengage you from your family and friends – They don’t like your best friend and don’t think you should hang out with her anymore or they don’t want you to chit chat around with your family. They will try to turn you against anyone that you’re used to rely on for support. Their goal is to remove you off on your support network as well as your strength so that you will be less likely to stand up against them.

Makes you feel guilty all the time – They are very skilled when it comes to this part. Your partner will let you feel the guilt whenever or whatever you are going to do with or without them. Your partner makes negative comments about your friends until you start to believe that the criticisms are true. Your partner will be a snob every time you go out with your friends, until you start not to accept their dinner invitations just to stop yourself from stress.

Criticize you a lot of times – Some partners think it’s not such a big deal that he or she doesn’t like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn’t take it personally. They may consistently critique your decisions at work , the way you spend money , or your interests and hobbies in a way that sounds less like criticism.If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner’s eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal person?

They don’t know the word TRUST – People who are deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. And a partner who doesn’t to acknowledge this isn’t being romantic at all. Your partner doesn’t have the right to check your email or messages, or have access to any of your social media passwords, just because they say they’re scared that you might cheat, or because they will say that people who are in love don’t have secrets. It’s a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and this shouldn’t be present within your relationship.

Don’t want to hear your side – You are always interrupted in every conversations, or opinions you express have been forgotten or never been acknowledged in the first place. Perhaps the conversation is always so ruled over by your partner that you can’t remember the last time they asked you a meaningful question about how you were doing and actually listened to your answer.

Making you feel unworthy – They are making you feel less attractive than they are. Even they try comparing you to their exes and sometimes their accomplishments when it comes to work, controlling people often want you to feel thankful that you are in a relationship with them. You will be more willing to work harder and harder to keep and to satisfy them. This is the goal of someone who wants to dominate a relationship.

Not only me, it can be you but all of us can fall into a controlling relationship. Don’t feel stupid about it and don’t blame yourself for being with them. Controlling relationships sneak up on us, and we can’t see them for what they are until we’re with them and we know them truly. Always remember that if you are feeling that it’s wrong in the relationship you need to let it go and just be more positive with the next one.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.”

– Darlene Ouimet

” A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends. your dreams or dignity.”

Hello Everyone! Thank you for reading and viewing my blog posts. I am so happy that there are still people reading and commenting when I am writing on my blog. I know that I am not really updating my blog lately but actually I am writing when I have time. And of course I haven’t posted Nigel’s first visit. Sorry about it! I am done in writing about it but I am too lazy to post it hahaha. My bad! I know. Well, I will do my best to post it before he arrive. My countdown is back again.

Well, this post pops out of my mind that I want to write about my playlist. I am a music lover and monthly I have my own playlist on my phone. I will list down below my playlist and you can commentif you like those songs and why do you like it? Here it goes…

ROCKABYE ( Clear Bandit, Sean Paul and Anne-Marie )

I like this song because of the lyrics and the meaning of it. I think the one who writes it talks about a single mom. The struggles and the hardships in her life. Encouraging her son that she will take care of him whatever happen and she’s always there for him. The message of the song is emotional good thing they had the beat is kinda fast and it’s so catchy and you can sing and dance to it.

♥

SHOUT OUT TO MY EX ( Litte Mix )

Honestly, at first when I heard it, I am not a fan of it. I tried to check the music video and I keep on repeating it I am beginning to love it. I know that it’s more than a revenge song for your exes but it is based on experience of the songwriters. I heard that Perrie Edwards wrote this song for Zayn Malik and on the first lines of the song it was so real. This a good moving on song for your douchebag ex and let him see that you’re happy without him.

♥

IT AIN’T ME ( Selena Gomez and Kygo )

When I saw this online I was curious about it and I like Selena Gomez and I am excited to hear about it. I like the beat of the song especially Kygo make the sound of it. I think the song is about a relationship that unfortunately broken and she was telling that she is not there anymore for him and she was reminiscing about the relationship. I heard and read online that this song is for Justin Bieber but of course we’re are not sure of it. Anyways, the song is a positive party anthem you’ll definitely be dancing to. ( NOTE: Since this is just an audio and there’s no music video I’ll just post Kygo and Selena’s gif )

♥

PARIS ( The Chainsmokers )

Wow! I love the Chainsmokers. They are really good. Can I just say .. Andrew Taggart is HOT!!! Heavy breathing… Well, I actually can’t explain the lyrics of the song I think I can apply this to a relationship. I guess it’s like you’re proving to other people that your relationship is strong and get away to others and just have fun. I tried to search the real meaning of this song and I found a link which explains it all.CLICK ME.. SONG PROFESSOR

♥

STARVING ( Hailee Steinfield, Zedd and Grey )

It’s funny that this was released last year and I just love it like this year.. this month to be exact. The song is catchy and I love how Hailee sing the song it’s so perfect. For me, the song describes a new world to the a woman who like someone. What it feels like to be attracted to someone so deeply you feel like you’re losing control when they’re near. The song is sweet, catchy and just so adorable when you are listening to it. The way the instrument played.

I admit that I am a worrier. I worry a lot that’s why I feel the stress more. I know that being a worrier is a big NO-NO. I just can’t help it. Nigel told me to relax and don’t think too much about problems because it won’t help me at all. While relaxing, I tried to find ways not to mind it.

1. Don’t Stress Yourself Too Much. – Stress is a word that a lot of people know and it is within you it will stay longer unless you leave it behind. Being stress can think your more negatively and can focus more on bad things. What you have to do is let loose of yourself. You can try to go for a walk, watch movies, write about something, eat out and have a good shower.

2. Stop Being a Perfectionist. – Some of us are afraid to make mistakes.Your standards will be so high that you’ll also be dissatisfied with the result that other people would find acceptable. You won’t be contented with what you are doing at work or school.

3. Focus. – Being focus with one thing at a time can help you stop worrying too much. You’re not thinking a lot. Your mind won’t be crowded. Too many thoughts can make yourself struggle on a daily basis.

4. Talking to friends or relatives that close to you. – Talking can help you release the stress that you are in to. This is just a simple thing that other people can help you. Nobody can take away your worries but when others showing you that they care it means much.

5. Fear Less – Too many questions on your mind can take over your life. The ” what if? ” questions are not a good question for yourself. What you can do is try to visualize that the problem is finished. Then try to think of the positive result of the problem that you are thinking of.

I know I make mistakes.. I am human … I am not perfect.. We all are…

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.”– Mary Hemingway

This modern world, many people are trying online-dating and many couples find themselves in long-distance relationships. But do they last? Being together with your partner is believed to help and maintain romantic relationships by giving people a chance to understand each other, and yet, some long distance relationships tend to last. Researchers suggest that one reason long distance relationships last is because they are likely to have the idea of having a romantic relationship with their partner or the tendency to describe their relationship in unrealistically positive terms.

Couples that are in long distance relationships tend to look back about their relationship in a more positive way. Being positive in the relationship can lead them to believe they have a lot more in common, regardless of whether or not they really do. Partners in long distance relationship have the advantage of always showing most positive way possible in maintaining the idea of the relationship. In other words, people in long distance relationships rarely see all the daily ups and downs of their partner’s mood and attitude.

There are times that when they close the distance there are some couples break up because they already know their partners personality. Distance can prevent partners from learning about each others negative qualities thus only creating an overly positive impression. The relationship may be happy and stable they are not together but in reality can become quite disappointing once back together.

How can you make your long distance relationship last long? Some couples said that long distance relationship can last long by increasing the amount of communication. And this modern world, there are plenty of ways to increase it. Social media sites, messenger, text messaging, phone calls, and emails can supplement face-to-face communication. Others said that TRUST is also important in this relationship. Don’t give 100% you need to And BEING COMMITTED is one of the reasons,too. Even though your partner is miles apart you are committed to your partner and you are not allowed to look for another partner because the reason is you miss your partner.

GOOD COMMUNICATION with your partner is one of the key so your long distance relationship will last. Make sure to talk about everything, just as if you see your partner every day. When you are unable to close the distance yet, you and your partner need to develop other more creative and unique ways to become intimate with each other. Partners that take active and strive to get know each other will have a more realistic idea of their relationship, and will make their Long Distance Relationships Last.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”

I am in a relationship and I am PROUD of it. My boyfriend is a foreigner and he is English. It’s just that there people who will judge why do you like foreigners. I know that there are people that can relate to me but there are some that feels envious about the relationship. I do feel bad whenever I hear people murmuring or gazing at us (especially me ) whenever we pass by them. I’ve experienced that when he was here for a vacation ( his first visit ). I know that you can’t stop other people from criticizing the relationship.

Before I prefer to have a Filipino boyfriend because I know that there will be spark between us. After experiencing the heartbreaks I promise myself not to have another Filipino boyfriend. I don’t judge all of them but after the same reasons of having my heartbroken I think it’s enough. ( Enough… enough…!!!). Now, let’s start… I will share that there are disadvantages and advantages of having a foreigner boyfriend.

DISADVANTAGES AND ADVANTAGES:

Cultural differences this can be a disadvantage and an advantage because it’s good that you can learn a new culture and you will more expose to it but sometimes there are couples that are having a conflict because of adapting of each others cultures.Be more optimistic to it because you are learning another culture and I think it’s a cool thing to do ( especially food you will discover new taste and special kind of foods )

There is an instance that you can have miscommunication because of languages ( Language Barrier). There are times that learning another language and pronouncing the words properly is difficult. Learning each others language is fun and interesting because it can help you to communicate more to your partner’s relatives and friends.

Migrating to which country will stay ( if it’s her or his ). Who will migrate is you or your partner. There will be a lot of discussion to make and the decision making can be a headache. So the best thing is the both of you need to talk more about it and try to share their ideas about migrating.

This is the fear of all, being in Long Distance Relationship. Not being together. Miles and miles apart form each other. This can be hard. I know because I am in this situation but communication is the key. You need to communicate with each other just a simple or quick text to send to you partner is enough. Loyalty needs to be there,too. If you are in a relationship you are committed and it means it’s only your partner even you are two worlds apart.

There are times that other people will think that you have partner that is a foreigner because of money or visa. Discrimination of other people is always there and present at all times. I experienced it and there are times that it was difficult to handle and I can’t hide my feelings. I don’t share it to him but he knows that I was hurt whenever other people are murmuring or gazing at us.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” ― C. JoyBell C.

If it’s about Love everyone is excited to hear and it’s a hot topic to discuss. There is a song that inspired me to write this post. It’s like we found love and we are happy with the relationship but why there are times it’s difficult to keep it? Love is a beautiful thing, until it fades away. From the lyrics of the song :

” But there’s a danger in loving somebody to much,and it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

Why love fades? What happen to the relationship that once like a fairy tale and so perfect?

❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤ ❥ ❤

There are some people that are not realistic when it comes to relationship or love. They expect it like fairy tales and romantic movies. There are some cases that when reality bites they will feel bad and disappointed about their relationship. The colorful and bright changes to dark and gloomy. In this cases, we need to grow up and don’t expect too much.Feeling appreciated and special play an important role in the relationship. In the beginning of the relationship everything is much appreciated but what happen when time flies? That’s why there are some couple feel that the relationship is not all worth it.

Why is it loving too much can ruin the relationship? It’s because we’re being possessive with our partner and we don’t trust them. When are in love you have to weigh in everything. How many percent? For yourself? For your partner? We shouldn’t give it all. It’s risky but you need to ask yourself if everything is worth the risk.

They say that it’s better for the relationship when your partner is with you because the love will stay and won’t fade but I don’t believe in it. For me, there are some close distance that their love fades because of losing attraction to each other. There are times that we are too familiar with each other that’s why love fades. Familiarity can be the reason because we know our partner too much. Instead that we think of them as our partners it leads to friendship. The feeling is changing without any notice.

Arguments and misunderstandings like we all know is always there in the relationship but there are some relationship that I think they don’t know how to handle arguments and misunderstandings. Being honest about our feelings can sometimes too hard to say. When we get into the habit of swallowing our feelings and turning against our partner rather than stating how we feel, it’s not a good sign at all. Some people give up so easily because of this reason but it’s better to talk about it.

If the one you love breaks your heart so badly that you feel bitter and unhappy and the trust that you had wasn’t there anymore we feel that we fall out of love for sure. Love and Trust are needed in the relationship it won’t be a real relationship if there’s absence. Forgiveness can be given but to the fact that they hurt you love fades.

Yes, love becomes boring and love does fade with time. Its law of nature. Everything fades. The roses that he gave you from the red petals to brown to black. The love letters that you keep the writings fade because you keep it for so long. Everything is gonna end. So is love.

So, if there’s a chance to stay together you need to find ways to keep your love alive. I know that you both know each other and how to hold on to the love and relationship that you have. Obstacles are the just tests for the both of you. If you give up easily it means that you don’t treasure each others love. Love ain’t enough and love fades but be strong and hold on.

Since I am missing my boyfriend. I think this might be a good idea to write about this. I am a music lover and I love downloading songs especially sad love songs. I love listening to brokenhearted ballads. But no one actually love being sad and depressed. So why do we love songs about sadness and misery? Look at the musical hits of the last several decades: Songs about breakups, heartache, loneliness, and regret are always there and it’s a hit. What do we feel when we are listening to this kind of songs?

Many people choose to listen to sad music when they’re feeling down and the desire to listen to sad music is strongest directly after the beginning of being in a bad mood. It looks like sad music can be enjoyable rather than depressing because it triggers positive memories that can help to lift our mood.

There are times that listening to this kind of music can CONNECTS us to it.Listeners can feel the emotions expressed by the music or the meaning of the lyrics. They look for this kind of feeling when they want to re-experience those same emotions. Some listeners are more into the MESSAGE OF THE SONG ( SONG LYRICS ). When they heard the song they will like the melody of it first and after they tried to search for the lyrics of the song.Sad love songs have more intense meaning and a lot of people can relate to it. REMINISCE THE PAST that’s what they experience. The past memories that they experience can take them back. DIFFICULTY IN EXPRESSING EMOTIONS especially when you are sad. There are people that can feel sadness but can’t show it so mostly they are listening to this kind of music to help them ease the pain, hurt, sadness, misery that they are feeling. Once they cry on it they will the relief that they needed. I think it’s a HEALING to others when they are listening to sad music. Sadness is a universal feeling, so a sad song can create a sense of connection, but it can also teach us that sadness can become something beautiful and enduring. It’s a perfection.

I know that not all of us love listening to this kind of music. There are times that other music genre can help others with their emotions. For me, music can help me to be more positive. Without music I think I am not complete. I don’t download songs that are more on melodies but I am focusing on the lyrics of the songs.

QUOTE OF THE DAY :

“Music speaks what we cannot be expressed, Soothes the mind and gives it rest. Heals the heart and makes it whole. Flows from heaven to the soul.”