Manliest Video Game Character

After playing MGS3 repeatedly, I've come across a revelation. Naked Snake is the manliest character to date. It's about time since most main characters have been a whiny disappointment. The points brought up are pretty much Maddox inspired. I should mark for spoilers, but if you haven't beaten the game or played it, that's your problem. Here's why Snake is the manliest character in video games:

- Physically, he has a scruff beard, a rough lumberjack voice, a combat mullet, plus he wears an eye patch near the end of the game. He easily has the look.

- When he takes off his helmet after completing the "world's first HALO jump" it's done in slowmo. When things are done in slowmo, that usually means it's bad ass. When you do something that's done everyday in slowmo, that's pretty bad ass.

- After having his arm broken and tossed off a bridge, most people would die or even worst, cry and wait for an ambulance. Not Snake, he just radios the Major and gives him the lowdown of his mission. He just fixed himself up due to manliness.

- Speaking of self healing, when Snake gets shot in the head by a bullet or an arrow, he just plucks it out with his knife and chews on it. If he had any broken bones, he'd fix that himself. If he was cut open, he could treat himself in the wrong order and he'd still be fine.

- The first time he meets EVA, where does he look? Her rack. Most PC pansy boys would look at her eyes, but not Snake. It's obvious that Snake would bone her during the mission if he wanted to, but knowing that EVA had to hang out with Volgin, he couldn't have her walking around funny after ripping her apart with his giant tool. That would alert Volgin that Snake was nearby.

- Speaking of Volgin's penis envy of Snake, when he grabbed Snake by the crotch, he felt two steel balls and a firehose and knew that it wasn't Raiden but Snake.

- When Ocelot had a gun pointed at Snake, he didn't crap his pants like most people. Snake told Ocelot straight up that he doesn't have what it takes to kill him.

- I'll admit that Snake ran from the bees when The Pain dropped in on the fight with Ocelot, but Snake needed a running start so he could jump down a cliff, which is obviously more painful than getting stung by bees.

- When he was shot by the Fear's crossbow, he left the poison bolt in his leg and pointed his gun at him. He felt that it was better to have poison run through his body than put up with some monologue.

- Snake beats up The End, for being a crusty old man (can this get any more Maddox or what?)

- After the mission, Snake had himself cloned so he could kick his own ass later.

I'm just going to stop right here or else this post will be overloaded with Snake's manliness.

I could have told you long ago that Snake is the manliest character there is. I haven't played MGS3 yet, but I assume Naked Snake is just Snake. Naked. Of course, I aleady know this guy is.... Big Boss!!