Penis enlargements: What's the big deal?

Penis enlargements are nothing new – but until Elist invented the Penuma in 2004, options for men were limited.

In most cases, doctors cut the suspensory ligament so the penis hangs lower. This is the procedure most commonly carried out in the UK, and can lead to an average increase of 1.3cm in length. However, only 35 per cent of men who have had this operation are happy with the results.

Otherwise doctors can inject collagen or fat – but this results in a lumpy, misshapen finish. Not very aesthetically pleasing.

And for those of you feeling bad about your manhood but not willing to go under the knife, NHS Choices helpfully suggests looking at it in a mirror – because looking down on it from above makes it appear smaller.

An XL implant has also turned a 43-year-old plumber from Northern California, who was already at least six inches, into a ‘sexual maniac’.

‘He has erections all day long and every day now,’ his wife added.

Elist genuinely believes his implants will make the world a more joyful place. His original name for the Penuma was, after all, ‘Hap-penis’. Aww.