Turtleboy Rides Along With Worcester Police To Investigate Hippy Protester Claims Of Brutality

So with all this talk about police brutality and Ferguson protests lately, management at Turtleboy Sports decided that we had a journalistic obligation to investigate whether or not cops are really Nazis in training as many an internet meme has told us they are. According to the media, professional “activists”, Marxist college professors, and genius 19 year old who have the whole world figured out, every cop in America is like Rosie Perez when she was in

Pineapple Express.

To find out if there was any truth to these claims we inquired about doing a ride along with the Worcester Police Department. I was expecting to see some crazy action. Like, according to everything I’ve read we were gonna harass a bunch of innocent people going about their day. Maybe if we had enough time I’d get to see an innocent person get shot. Maybe. Not sure if we’d have enough time.

Unfortunately I was disappointed to find out that the police try to do boring things – like help people in distress and listen to the concerns of citizens. BORING. I got to spend six hours with Seargent Pete Towler today, and not once did we get to discharge firearms on young men who were about to get their GED and open their own barber shops. I found out there’s actually a lot more to policing than shooting people who have their hands up and teargassing Clark hippies for standing in traffic. I have to say that I’m very disappointed that CNN has led me on.

So because I rode with Seargent Towler from 8-2 it wasn’t exactly the most exciting part of the day. The first call we responded to was a situation where a landlord had found some dude sleeping in the basement of one of his properties. I was thinking,

“Nice, maybe we’ll get to see the cops beat the shit out of this guy and cover it up by saying it was in self defense.”

Turns out when we got there the vagrant and his girlfriend were down in the basement with the landlord. Apparently she lives in the building and had gotten into an argument with her boyfriend the night before. Logically then he was exiled to the freezing cold basement for the evening. Because what normal person HASN’T gotten into a lover’s quarrel, got banished to the basement for the night, and woken up to an angry landlord, three cops, and Turtleboy? Happens to the best of us. Unfortunately the landlord and the vagrant both apologized to the police, and instead of bashing their heads in for wasting their time, the cops told them to have a nice day!!! What kind of bullshit policing is that??

So we were driving along and I found out about something called “community meetings.” Apparently police officers from all over the city meet with residents of the neighborhoods they police to – GET THIS – listen to their concerns!! Crazy right? I mean, here I was thinking the police were here to kill innocent civilians. Turns out they actually care what they have to say and they want to serve and protect them. Mind blown!!

Next we responded to a call in the Busgate part of town. Obviously I was aroused at the prospect of coming face to face with one of these Turtleboy legends. Anyway, members of the Worcester Police apparently collaborate with state cops and U.S. Marshals to find violent fugitives and arrest them. So we drove over to Vernon Hill and found two guys in cuffs. No doubt they were just about to turn their lives around and pursue their PhD’s. But before that they wanted to violate probation one more time for old time’s sake.

When we got there the Worcester cop and state trooper told us that they had come to arrest one of these model citizens for violating his probation. But they got themselves a 2 for 1 when the other genius decided to kick in the neighbor’s door with a pellet gun in hand, before fleeing on foot after the home dweller called the police. First they found this genius, and then they found the other guy sleeping on someone’s porch across the street. Because, why wouldn’t a known felon take a nap while his buddy broke into someone’s home with a pellet gun at 9:30 in the morning? That happens to normal people all the time.

Well it turned out that the genius had a fake gun on him, which of course he was taking a nap ON TOP OF. We don’t have guns in the Turtleboy household so it looked pretty real to me. But somehow the gestapo police resisted the urge to shoot this former honor’s student despite the fact that he was purposely brandishing a replica of a tool designed to kill people. I’m sure he was only using it to play cowboys and indians with his friends though.

So while everyone else is at work at 10 in the morning those guys who you see standing on the corner are getting ready for a long day of drinking and holding signs. The ACLU calls this “free speech,” which is misleading because they make $200 a day doing it. Anyway, it turns out the ones who hold the signs are the Mark Cuban’s of the substance abuse game. Many, many more people struggle to get through the day and go to local soup kitchens. Now I was under the impression that the police exist to exterminate these people. Turns out they want to HELP them. I know, fucked up right?

Seargent Towler and I went down to a soup kitchen on Temple and Green Street. I don’t care who you are, how much money you have, or what color your skin is. There is nary a Worcesterite who hasn’t been stumbling drunk at one point in their life on Green Street. The difference is it’s usually dark out when most of us have been in that situation. We got a call to come down there because apparently a woman was jammed up and passed out on the throne. It was 10:30 AM.

When we got there we met a guy named Billy Riley, from the legendary Worcester Riley family. The Riley’s INVENTED 19 Kids and Counting, and they’re a million times more interesting than the Duggar family. Billy runs the soup kitchen there and was clearly concerned about the woman but needed her out of there because she was more fucked up than Wes Welker at the Kentucky Derby, which apparently was upsetting everyone else.

Now based on what I’ve heard about the police I thought we’d go in there, sprinkle some crack everywhere, and beat the bag out of her while she yelled

“I can’t breathe.

” Instead Sgt. Towler and another officer calmly coerced the woman who had no clue what they were saying, into getting up. And then they just left her in the cold, right? Wrong!! Turns out they put her in the cruiser and brought her to Ad Care. What kind of bizarro world was I living in today? Cops helping a homeless person with a substance abuse problem get help? What planet am I on?

Next we drove past a bus stop where the Kelley Square entrepreneurs club meets every day for their 11 AM nap and group urination. Apparently Sgt. Towler and crew have been trying to scoot these people back to their busy day of holding signs so that decent and honest people can wait for the bus to go to work. When we drove by, instead of seeing a bunch of vagrants ruining the quality of life for everyone, we saw two women patiently waiting to go to their jobs. Turns out the police weren’t just harassing the bums who had been sleeping there for the fun of it. They were actually concerned with creating an environment where these nice ladies could get to work without having to sift through a sea of syringes and Mad Dog 40/40’s.

But I had seen enough of all this good will. I wanted to find out the truth about police brutality. Aren’t police taught to kill innocent civilians for no reason I asked? Nope. Much to my surprise they actually have frequent “in service training” sessions where they learn or go over arrest tactics, handcuffing techniques, and how to respectfully speak with citizens so as to avoid conflict and injury.

Ya got that? They actually CARE about not hurting people and treating other human beings with respect and dignity? I know, I know. I’m just as confused as you are right now. Wanna know what’s most fucked up about this? Sgt Towler told me, and I quote,

“the last thing we want is someone getting hurt.”

My head almost exploded when he told me that. I mean, upper middle class white people like Professor Sonya Conner have been telling me that they specifically TRY to hurt anyone who’s skin color doesn’t rhyme with “bite.” I thought a good day meant that cops gave each other high fives for shooting innocent people and pissing on their graves. You really let me down Professor Conner!!

And ya know how some times you see cops in places like Dunkin Donuts or Coney Island hot dogs? Well, it turns out they’re not just there to brag about all the innocent civilians they kicked the shit out of. Nope. Get this – they go there because they’re hungry!! Like real people!! Weird. So we met up with another police officer for some cooked food around noon. I asked if I could use his real name and he preferred not to. On Turtleboy you don’t get to pick you aliases though, so I’m gonna call him Cupcake.

Well the first thing I noticed about Officer Cupcake was that his index finger was in a splint. Surely he must’ve injured himself beating the shit out of nun or something. You can imagine the shock I felt when I found out that he had hurt himself trying to drag a car thief out of a car window after the guy had just crashed a car going 70 mph on McKeon Road. Why did he have to drag him out of the window you ask? Well get this – the guy wouldn’t get out when they told him too!!! Mind blown!! I was under the impression that criminals always follow orders. And OF COURSE the guy had a big ol’ knife on him. But cops are NEVER in danger when they apprehend criminals. Never.

I had to ask Sgt. Towler the really tough question too – doesn’t he ever feel the urge to shoot an unarmed altar boy like Darren Wilson did? When a suspect hides their hands in their shirt like several witnesses said Michael Brown had done, isn’t it true that they’re probably just reaching for the magic rabbit they have hidden in there? Boy was my face red when he told me about the time a nice young lady hid her hands in her shirt and out popped a handgun!! Luckily instinct kicked him and he grabbed the firearm that was pointed directly at him and he arrested the innocent, peaceful civilian.

I also wanted to know about body cameras too. I wouldn’t want one if I was a cop. Not necessarily because I plan on slaughtering the innocent, but more importantly because if I was alone in a car all day I would rip ass until the cows came home. Can you imagine the humiliation of having that presented as evidence in court? “

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury – you will now see Officer Turtleboy using excessive force on the defendant. But first you will see him purposely giving himself the dutch oven and secretly liking it because he thinks no one is watching.”

Nightmare.

These body cams are all the rage right now with the ACLU. The police obviously don’t want these things right? I mean, how are they gonna kill unarmed innocent civilians if they know they’re on camera? Oh wait, you mean they actually don’t have a problem with body cameras? They welcome them? But, but, but, aren’t they worried that all their murdering of innocent civilians will get them in trouble now? This changes everything!! I personally think it’s going to be hilarious when the ACLU realizes the whole body camera thing is actually going to help prosectors put criminals in jail instead of police officers. Oops!!

Anyway, I learned a lot today. I learned that police are actually regular people and not Hunger Games “peacekeepers.”I learned that they actually like (gasp) helping people!! And I learned that a Thursday morning in Worcester can be a lot more entertaining than I thought. I will say this though – I wanna do this again on the night shift. I heard things are a lot calmer at night, which is why the St. Louis prosecutor waited until the sun was down to announce that he wasn’t pressing charges against Darren Wilson.

29 Comment(s)

Enough of the all good all bad dichotomous stuff. Worcester cops are alright as a group, don’t see any militarized hair cuts like you often see in small towns. The issue is about sociopathic cops that continue to be allowed into law enforcement. We need police, the idea is great and works. They are not the military however, and should be limited to what they need, and no tank vehicles. They’ll rise to the occassion. I’m glad turtle boy showed us how nice police are, it was a PR puffpiece. What, you thought you’d ride with the occassional ahole that wears the uniform? Think they were on their best behavior?

Congrats turtleboy for exposing the hypocrisy of the neo-hippy street losers in some of the above posts.

They have fallen victim to the Cult of Lawlessness which is quite in vogue with the college (and unemployed and drug addicted) crowd right now. Because it’s cool to violate the law and fuck over those who just want to go about their normal everyday business.

Because it’s cool to give the finger to the cops and hold up your iPhone 6 to film them when they tell you they’re gonna shove that finger right back up your ass.

Because it’s cool to protest when a prospective barber gets shot while trying to run over 2 cops in the street after said prospective barber ran 3 cars off the road.

Because it’s cool to stand behind 75 other of your drunk friends and push them all towards the cops at the front of the line and you can run away laughing when the others get arrested.

Those of us who see the cops, the real cops in their real element know they are jaded for a goddamn good reason. Yes, some people get to buff out the side of a police car with their face when they’re handcuffed. But for a damn good reason. And Y’know what? Sometimes that works. Sometimes it’s enough to scare a kid straight after he or she has been a drunken twat.

The more these social rejects get attention, the more the Cult of Lawlessness gets traction and the more society breaks down. You couldn’t pay me $250,000 to be a city cop. You couldn’t even pay me $100K to be a cop in a quiet place like Lunenburg or Leicester. Their job sucks. Because people suck.

Fuck you and this piece of shit article. You ride along with one cop (Guess what numb nuts? Cops act differently when bloggers aren’t around…) nothing happens and that’s your argument against protesters making their opinions known about police brutality? Worcester cops are NOTORIOUS for police brutality. What about Officer Rajat Sharda – who raped a woman while on duty? What about Robert A. Farrar – who was arrested for domestic violence and caught with Percocet? What about Officer James Powers – whom witnesses claim arrested a woman under false pretenses after saying “I’m sick of dealing with you latinos”? What about the case of Nga Truong who spent 3 YEARS IN PRISON after being framed by the WPD? What about Ricky Eaves, who was only exonerated of a drug arrest after 73 days in jail when surveillance footage contradicted sworn testimony from the officers? Since 1999 WPD has paid over 1 million dollars in police brutality settlements. Last year alone they paid out $145,000! Are you that fucking stupid that you dismiss all accusations of brutality because you rode around with a few cops on ONE FUCKING NIGHT? Do you not understand the difference between conjecture and statistics? Get a clue you racist scum bag…

best comment! When you refer to certain people as “young men who were about to get their GED and open their own barber shops” that’s fucking racist. Most racism isn’t in hoods or armbands, it’s generalizations and lowered expectations. Thank you for showing how to be part of the problem. I really just want to know one thing, did this come with a WPD handjob?

The problem isn’t individual officers in most cases. There is really two problems as I see it.

1. A culture of deference to authority that permeates this country as a whole. Quite frankly, if you by default just trust authority, you are an idiot.

2. The gangster-like Cult of Silence that permeates the law-enforcement community.

The first is obvious all over the place at all levels of government, so let’s talk about #2.

Let’s not forget in this city, not all that long ago, two detectives investigating a homicide conned a girl, 17 years old, into confessing to a crime that science has proven she did not commit. These “brothers” of the law-enforcement community both still have jobs. The Chief of this city still, to this day, refuses comment but to say he has full confidence in the two officers. He did, however, take the time to make disparaging comments about the judge of the case on Twitter.

That young lady was in jail two years before our oh-so-fearless district attorney was forced to show a judge the tape of the interrogation. When the judge saw them tell her over and over and over and over and over and over that all she had to say is “i did it” and the world would be a beautiful place and she could go home. She said it, clear as day she was giving them their quid pro quo. They then booked her for murder.

Who has spoken out about this on the Worester police force? What police organization, anywhere, has addressed the preferential treatment of the law towards police officers?

Well that’d be your ass if you did. Your detail money would dry up. The intimidation would be insane. You broke the “code”
government”

Wow very impressive. I’m glad you’ve actually done some research and even whipped out the thesaurus for “permeate” and “quid pro quo”. Only took you two days to come up with that one. What do you know, another extremely specific and random story that serves your purposes. Who would have guessed that one suspect out of the thousands they’ve interrogated for hours hearing “I’m innocent” would actually be innocent. It’s a terrible story and a true tragedy, but even more of a shame you can take advantage of it to shove into an argument and use to your advantage. You don’t hear me telling random stories where things went the other way. And there are just so many. If the problem isn’t a couple cops, but oh so many of them. Why then do you keep telling wonderful tales of single situations where mistakes were made with a couple cops. I guess I’ll see you in another couple days after you’ve done your research and found some fancy words. Look forward to the next story you can get your hands on. Tara, honey, you don’t ever have to ever apologize for having thoughts to me. Opinions are like dicks. Everyone’s got one, it’s when you start rubbing it in peoples faces it becomes a problem. So put that shit back in your pants where it belongs and get to work on that next persuasive essay you’ll have for me. I’m just brimming with anticipation. Ahh, I remember my first few conspiracy theories. The good ol’ days. Just too cute ;*

It’s easy for Tara and people like her to say “Don’t shoot” when no guns are pointed at her. You’d clear out for one can of tear gas, never mind gun fire.
It’s easy to scream “I can’t breathe” when you so clearly can, and have never even come close to dying. It’s even easier to disappear when it’s no longer convenient to fight for your point, and your faced with serious opposition. Tara has gone away, just as all the others will in a matter of weeks or months or maybe just one day. Meanwhile those who actually seek a change, no matter how small, will continue on without having to be seen, or be joined by a group. Cops will continue on doing their job, the easy parts and the hard parts. Make good decisions or bad decisions. They won’t disappear when it gets hard or people stand against them. They’ll keep putting their lives in danger so that if any evil ever reaches out and touches poor simple Tara, these militarized “peacekeepers” will be there to protect her freedom of speech (not to mention her life). Unless of course they have heard how you feel and decide not to risk their lives for someone who so blindly and ignorantly hates them. Or maybe they’ll just drive a little slower that day. Either way I’m sure she’s thought this through and is ready to deal with whatever the consequences good or bad, easy or hard. Goodbye Tara, we hardly knew thee. Thank god.

I know we have a lot of good people working for the police force here in Worcester. I know that 95% of the cops nationwide are good people who took the job to protect and serve their communities. I learned nothing from reading this besides the fact that you have entirely missed the point. Again.

It is ridiculous to think that just because most cops are good people who don’t abuse their powers, we shouldn’t worry about the ones that do. The protests in Ferguson weren’t over the fact that the kid got shot, they were about the fact that the cop who did the shooting would never go to trial. Which he didn’t. We are a country of due process, of checks and balances, and it behooves all of us not to forget this. And when these checks and balances are ignored, it is a lot easier for corruption to creep in and for grave injustices to occur. I still think those 2 officers should go to trial, especially the one in New York. If their actions were truly justified, they don’t have anything to fear.

I don’t appreciate the denigration of the ACLU and the important work that they do. We live in an educated, relatively liberal part of the country where abuses of power and racial violence are minimal, but that does not mean that there’s no need for an organization whose sole purpose is the protection of people’s constitutional rights. I have never been able to wrap my head around the thought process of people who think otherwise, and I have trouble believing you could be serious about the way you’ve depicted them here.

I like your blog for the most part, but sometimes lately you show some startling moments of sloppy thinking. I’m glad you’re sticking up for the good cops, but open your eyes, man. These stories are bigger and have more historical impact than I think you realize.

Turtle Boy; Excellent article, keep up the great work. I have a nephew on the Fire Dept. talk to them and try to go on the many calls they take, most for free rides to the Hospital from the swine’s sucking off the teet of the Gov’t.

Great job Turtleboy! Love you and love the WPD! On your next outing with the WPD you should ask about how many of the officers volunteer at community organizations. Yes, many cops choose to not only help people as their job, but do so on their own free time as well!

Pete Towler is the real deal…..this TurtleBoy report is spot on
Definitely do a last-half round two tour…and I would suggest a round 3 sitting inside the dispatch center listening in to the calls they get starting at 11pm until app 3am…..an eye opener to another world

While I fully agree with the underlying premise here, an analogous story could have been written during the priest sex abuse scandal. Not all clergy are child abusers, after all. But to write such a story would have glossed over the fact that there were far too many horrific incidents that really happened. I think that when we jump onto the #notallmen #notallclergy #notallpolice ship, we’re reacting defensively like the bishops who just shuffled offending priests to another parish instead of acknowledging that there are real issues that need to be dealt with.

Do you remember when “Cops” was supposed to be filmed in Worcester? The WPD was excited. The citizens of Worcester, not so much. They, are you ready for this you will never believe it, had a protest over it! You would think that they would have welcomed the camera crew. It would have given them the needed evidence of how brutal the men and women of the WPD are. Nope, it was just the opposite. Their stance was that the WPD would use it as a means to gain celebrity, arrest and/or harass innocent citizens and be extreme when doing so. Sounds a little contradicting to me. Can you fathom the realization that the WPD nixed the filming due to listening to the voices of the citizens that they don’t care about?

So your telling me that if your driving home late at night returning from a recent family holiday get together. Let’s say July 4th, an an off duty police officer ( who just happens to be on traffic enforcement division) happens to be driving intoxicated attempting to get home from a party himself.
The drunk officer behind the wheel hits you head on. your front seated passenger who just happens to be your spouse, your child, best friend, cousin, aunt, father, mother, ect happens to get ejected from the vehicle despite wearing a seat belt from the force of the head on crash, not only is your car completley split in 2 miraculously you survived with minor injuries, but your loved one the force of impact that ejected them, well the force of there landing also dismembered them into 2 the upper torso and then the pelvic n legs. Killing them instantly.
And guess what this isn’t his 1st time driving drunk. He has 2 other offences. The 1st being a complimentary because of the brotherhood. The 2nd he wasn’t so lucky didn’t happen in his hometown and that city cop didn’t care that he was an officer. Shockingly chargers were later dismissed as he refused the breathalyzer, or he wasn’t offered IDK but after being assigned desk duty for 6 days due to license suspension and the dropping of the charge after there was no proof he was driving while intoxicated.
So your telling me you don’t feel this cop should be held responsible??? You believe he’s better than you…do you have no self worth….I fight this fight for individuals like yourselves who are so blindsided to the picture as a whole or believe they are unaffected by this militarized police states

What are the odds of that? Sounds like a made up story. What if you murdered someone and brutality dismembered them, then burned their limbs and ate them. But, the body was gone and no proof of murder so you got away with it? Tragic story. That’s what you sound like, this is a scenario that doesn’t sound real at all. You sound like an ignorant protester, who always has to disagree to feel like the smartest person in the room.

Tara I’m sorry. I really am. After losing my entire family (apparently?) on that fateful 4th of July night, I see the light. I can’t believe I actually have to say this but apparently we have to go here. Ok, here goes. My user name was just me being sarcastic, sorry you couldn’t grasp that :/ I actually agree with you believe it or not Tara. Actually no, let
me rephrase, I agree with what you are attempting to stand for. Unfortunately, you seem to be so out of touch and desperate you have ruined our (yes OUR, Tara) side of the argument. After reading your comment I felt myself actually wanting to play devil’s advocate to your incredibly warped view on the police. I’ve had as many run-ins with the police as you’ve had driving by them. I know better than anyone that cops can take advantage of their position, especially in situations where they may be charged with a crime. Unfortunately it’s people like you, Tara, that make such broad and frankly random accusations that you take the focus off of where the discussion really needs to be. Then once you’re challenged, even sarcastically, you present such an amazingly and strangely specific situation that suits your needs in this argument. Maybe if all those ridiculous and rambling details came to pass I would feel like you do(probably a concussion ;). But I don’t Tara. No rambling, painstakingly specific, hypothetical gritty cop crime drama would ever make me blow things way out of proportion using words like “police state”, “militarization” or “brotherhood” because that wouldn’t ever do any good. I look forward to your jumbled and random reply, but until then Tara, I say goodnight to you and your friends your no doubt showing this to. I just hope they’re dumb enough to stay on your side after this. Ok! I’m going to try to pry myself away from my worship of those militarized police I love so much more than myself. Maybe try to rustle up some self respect while I’m at it right? Sorry Tara, hope you can rustle some up yourself (Oh Tara! THAT is sarcasm as well you sweet, simple, spoiled, ungrateful and frankly just unrealistic little girl). (Except for your self respect and knowledge on the subject, seriously you GOTTA get yourself some of those) ;*

Tara, really? One ruins the bunch? So one bad personnel experience of yours make all cops bad? I do protest against police being weaponized- amazingly they are always civil at the protests (in my area). Hell, they even provide bottled water on hot days. Just guys and gals doing a nasty job. Off duty and out of uniform many of them join us supporting Second Amendment rights protests. So…. extrapolating on your theory it’s also acceptable to judge all people of color due to the rampant race riots? Did your local police also murder your cat, poison your medicinal marijuana crop, ticket your hybrid for illegal parking and enforce a law against you? Ohh, the horror. Buffoon.

My brother is a Worcester cop and I don’t know how he does it, but I am very thankful! The world is a safer place because of him and cops in general. Thanks for writing such an accurate day in the life of a cop- haters will keep on hating, ain’t nothin’ you can do about that! But Worcester cops will keep on helping people and I hope you will keep on observing and reporting the facts- the signature of the cold hard truth /reality is resistance- so what, keep writing!

OMG!! Seriously Turtleboi. ..some of your articles I really do enjoy reading as your on point. This story here you have your hot headed ASS STUCK IN YOUR SHELL!!!
Did you honestly think the “peacekeepes” were going to show you how there immune to the laws they enforce? They know who you are.. how you stand with your outspoken stupidity views of encouraging a militarized police force…..you can be so contradicting in so many of your stories and what a true turtle dumb ass shell you sound like. Familiarize yourself with history why did we fight Britain for same thing the police do right now read up on why we celebrate July 4 what does are declaration state what are our bill of rights
You need a reality check you are not above the influence nor are you below it

Don’t ever call the cops Tara. Rise up and fight for your independence from the police or whatever I guess. Happy 4th of July. Oh and Turtleboy, make sure the next ride along you specify you need to see the cops being immune to laws. Have a great day everyone! Tara, hope to see you blocking the road in front of my car soon, being oh so familiar with history and stopping police from taxing your herbal tea so highly. Thanks again for the reality check.