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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

How much do you really know about me?

I have a reader, Benz, who wrote a blog post about me that made me blush. Benz, thanks so much for loving my blogs. And I'm glad I was able to put into words thoughts that float in your head. Thanks for thinking that I'm real and honest and nice. We should meet! But I hope that when we do meet, your opinion of me won't change!

Question: how does it feel when a complete stranger knows so much about you? doesnt it feel creepy and like being stalked at? how do you edit how much to share? kasi when you share you have people who like your blog in mind diba? but it is not always the case there are just people out there who reads even when they dont like you, worst some people who hates make sure they readpa nga. does it ever stop you? any security fear? yours kasi is a personal blog and about you and your family eh.

How does it feel when a complete stranger knows so much about you?
The thing to remember is people only know a little about me, not really a lot. I may seem like I'm sharing a lot but, in truth, what you see in the blog is what I want you to see. There are huge aspects of me that you don't know about, that will surprise you, maybe even turn you off. But, don't worry, you're right when you guessed I'm a nice person--I really am nice!

Anyway, I have no secrets (no sex tape or anything sordid like that!). There are family secrets that are part of me that will knock your socks off but I swore to my mother to never ever write about those in my blog. But I promised her the blog, not a book so...

Doesn't it feel creepy? Like you're being stalked?
Nope. You have to remember that I'm a writer--I really have to pour out my soul. It was my choice to have a personal blog because, if you meet me in real life, I do share a lot about my life. I like spreading the joy that is my life.

But at the same time, I'm also very guarded. There's a lot I don't share to people. I will spill my guts, yes, but I will spill them all to a very select few. I can count my real friends on one hand. Yes, they are that few. There are very very few who really know me. So I don't feel freaked out when strangers know "a lot" because in reality, they don't. Go over my blog and you'll see that it's all bags and shoes, shopping finds, eBay, events, parties, trips, clothes. That's it!

When people tell me stuff they know about me, ya, I (and Vince too!) get a bit weirded out for a few seconds. Then I get very happy because it only means they love reading my blog and, as a writer, I find that very gratifying. It's absolutely one of the best feelings in the world!

How do you edit how much to share?
I've been blogging since 2005. I've learned, from past experience, to not talk about bad stuff. Or the personal stuff of other people. Or my personal negative feelings for real people, like family. And recently, I also was warned not to post bad stuff about products and brands. Really bad things have happened because I was too cavalier with my opinions. So it's all happy happy joy joy on my blog, dammit!

I also refrain from posting photos of private individuals without their permission. I always ask, "Can I post your photo on my blog?" Most say yes. There are those who refuse and I respect that. I also don't post photos of school-age kids, unless they're at my event or my house (wedding, party).

When you write, you have people who like your blog in mind, right?
Not at all. When I write, it's for entertainment purposes. I know people will like it, I know some people won't. I can't please everyone so ultimately, I just write for the sheer pleasure of writing!

Do haters stop you from sharing whatever you want to share?
Nope. What makes me very careful about what I share is my husband, my family and my work. Especially my work because I don't want to get fired!

Any security fear?
Yes. That's why I don't say where I'm going or what I'll be doing at a specific time (i.e. "I'm going to Manila Pen tomorrow for lunch!" or "This is my address" or "I'm off to dinner at Cibo"). I'll usually share stuff after it happened (i.e. "Just came from ChaTime" or "Enjoyed our stay at Shang Mactan.") Even on Twitter, I very rarely give away my location.

As for my family, I have no problems with showing my face or my husband's. I used to. Then we became magazine editors with our faces in the magazine, newspapers and on TV shows. Kinda strange to play coy when we're public figures.

As for Vito, I really didn't want to show his face to the world. But Vince said so many people--complete strangers!--sent gifts and love so the least we could do was proudly show off the bebe. And true enough, the first thing Vince did after I gave birth was guest blog at Topaz Mommy and share photos of our boy. And so many people adore Vito because of our blogs that I just can't keep him all to myself!

However, when Vito starts school, I'll stop showing his face on my blogs. Right now, when we're out, we get greeted a lot with "Hi Vito!" by people we don't know. It's so cool and freaky at the same time. But in a couple of years, Vito might not like complete strangers talking to him. He might not like it that his face is all over the Internet. And I should respect that.

* * * * * * *

Well, that's all my answers to your questions, Benz! Let's have tea! I have lots of questions for you, too!

15 comments:

that's also one thing that i like about your blog...it's very positive & casual.

you're a professional writer but how the way you blog is just something that makes people want to read it because of the friendliness that you exude. i'm not saying that it's not professional, no, not at all. you know how i love your skills,ne? but what i adore about you is that you are friendly & it seems like you welcome each & everyone...

my point is, i love you, your blog, your mag & your VITO (oh,im such a fan!!!such an adorable baby!)... i recently started reading your hubby's blog & i like how casual it is too! even though he is focusing about techy things it doesn't feel techy or mechanical at all...haha!

great post! @Benz - you are a celebrity in your own right! ang dami din nakakakilala kaya sayo! hahaha! @frances in case you didn't know, benz founded and owns weddings@work the premiere wedding resource for both soon to be weds and suppliers in the Philippines! :Dso go enjoy your tea. am sure you two will have a lot to talk about ;)

Frances, your blog is one of my go-to entertainment sources. Haha. In fact, out of the top Pinoy blogs out there, yours is on my top five daily reads. (Oh, flattered ka ba? Naks.) I like the way you write, because it's like, well, you're talking straight to me. I can even hear your voice narrating everything, haha.

I find it refreshing that even though you're a public figure, you're also a super normal, down-to-earth person. That's what's cool about your blog: it's real, it's you, but you also respect the fact that your life--the unshared parts--are sacred to you. Bravo.

Hhmm thanks for the answers :) You are again so right hahaha. My questions were brought about by me asking myself how much to share eh. Yeah I also share a lot about myself but true there's still more I dont share. Yun nga lang yours kasi is a bigger world and more strangers are in eh. Mine is a small circle lang.

Let's have tea... once am over being a fan. Otherwise there wont be a friendship to develop as I will be awestruck haha. But soon let's do it.

I've been a HUGE fan of this blog too! Although I don't comment much, I've read every post. I sometimes read some posts for a second or third time especially when I can relate to the topic. And most of the time, I can! Frances is super accommodating and when I sent her an email once, she sent me a very inspirational reply.:)

This is so nice, I agree with Benz that you have the talent to talk to people directly when you write. I also admire you for always spreading joy in your writing and doing away with bad stuff. My officemates tease me for always being positive and comedy no matter how stressed, but I love being a source of joy. Makes our world better even a bit. Continue writing because you're certainly touching lives. :)

I think I've told you this before, already, but I feel that I have to say it again... A few years back, when I first landed at "Topaz Horizon" (black pa sya non) I ended up staying for a long time.

I love the way you write and I agree about what you said in so many ways because that is how I am too. The things that I write in my blog are focused on the happy and light, cus I although it seems that I am an open book (what with blogging in all) I am actually a very private person and I only share very intimate details of my life to a select few.

I had someone criticize me about this before... she said something about, making my life seem perfect in the blog. I guess some people will never understand. But writing makes me happy. And I read your blog because your stories make me happy too.

Henry, welcome to the blogging world! I looked at your blog and it's well done. Good for you! My blogs aren't very related to yours, though, so I suggest you try asking my hubby, Third World Nerd, for a link exchange. Mas may connect ang blogs niyo kasi.

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