Tom O’Connor not arrested for anything

The showbiz world has been shocked to the core today at breaking news that veteran entertainer Tom O’Connor hasn’t been arrested, charged or suspected of any misdemeanors sexual or otherwise. Mr O’Connor, best known for presenting game shows such as Crosswits, The Zodiac Game and Name That Tune was unavailable for comment this afternoon as he was not seen emerging from his local police station, having not entered it in the first place.

Non-accusations have been coming in thick and fast. One non-victim told us “I asked Tom for an autograph after one of his shows but then realised I didn’t have a pen. He smiled and said not to worry as he had a pen in his dressing room. I wondered what I had let myself in for until he went to his dressing room, came back with a pen and then signed his name in my autograph book.”

There are rumours that this may just be the tip of the iceberg as many thousands of people may come forward with accusations of autograph signings, small talk and being ‘game show hosted’. An insider told us “Nobody knows how he managed to go so far in television without getting his nob out inappropriately. There’s even talk that he was in a secret normal clique with Frank Carson and Roy Walker.”

Thames Valley Police issued the following statement “We can confirm that an entertainer in his seventies isn’t helping us with our enquiries. Not Tom O’Connor anyway. Cliff Richard is though”.