I’m looking for a snitch, who wants to get rich.

Blogging is one of those impossible to make a profit from activities you have to fit into all the necessities of life, such as looking after your family, making a living, paying your bills, hacking back that out of control Amazonian jungle you call a garden, repairing a leaky roof at some considerable personal risk to yourself and the zillion other things that make up the details of life.

I’d like to do a lot more of it, but the aforementioned constraints mean the most time I can give it, is Sunday afternoons, barricaded in my study with the barbarians hammering on the door, the result being one piece a week. Some bloggers have a donations button, and no doubt they get a few bucks through that, but it’s hardly what I’d call a steady income.

There’s always that gap between the situation you’re in and where you’d like to be, and that’s the sort of problem I like to gnaw on. Where I’d like to be, is blogging several times a week, which implies less time having to make a living, which in turn implies I’ve got to acquire a serious stack of money. I’m a proactive type, which probably goes some way to explaining the character of this blog, and I like to initiate moves, rather than waiting around for things to change.

I think I might have come up with a method of moving into that different situation.

In the last decade, it’s been estimated that 98 billion USD has been spent, that’s 98 with nine fat zeroes after it or more impressively $98,000,000,000 in the United States alone, on research, grants, subsidies and loans to deal with the non-existent threat of global warming. Obviously, where there’s that amount of money sloshing around, a lot of theft is occurring. If you don’t think that, it’s fine with me, and you need read no further, though I’ll think you’re a bit of an idealist who’s led a very sheltered or at least, unobservant life.

However, if you do happen to think that the odd few million out of all those billions, might just have ended up in some white-collar criminal’s pocket, read on, especially if you’re knowledgeable about an instance of it. Information is power, but if you can convert it into money, it buys lots of lovely things. Really lovely things.

Most countries have laws in place to protect whistleblowers, and the sensible ones have a financial reward arrangement, when the funds in question are government money. You basically get a percentage of the money involved, the government claws some of it back and the criminals get a jail sentence.

The deal is quite simple; tell me what you’ve got, I’ll look at whether you’ve got a live one and, if I think it is, proceed with getting you your money. I’ll act as your agent, charging 20%, out of your end of whatever reward you eventually get, if any. Any expenses incurred by both of us, will come out of the reward money before we share it out. My percentage is not negotiable and we’d be signing a binding contract for services to that effect. Let me run through what my 20% gets you.

First off, you get a hard negotiator with a skill set that’s very appropriate for this type of work. Most importantly, I’m your cutout. I’ll do the initial contact and subsequent negotiation with the relevant authorities, without revealing my source. I know my way around financial crime and what buttons to press to make bureaucracies work. I’ll do the fan dance with them, showing them glimpses of the proof, and if they should act in bad faith, they’ll have nothing to go on except me, and I know not only how to take the heat, but how to protect you and myself as well. After all, it’s my skin as well as yours if it all turns nasty, hence the hefty commission. Show biz agents don’t ordinarily get threatened with prison sentences, which I know will probably happen at some point in the horse trading.

If you weren’t directly involved in the fraud, it makes things very simple. If you went along with it passively, for reasons of duress or whatever, I’ll negotiate a free pass for you with the authorities or walk away from the deal. Every well designed fraud has an unwitting patsy lined up to take the fall, should it all unravel. It’s their signature that’ll be on all the incriminating documents.

If you’ve just realised that’s your role in the thing, get in touch, if only to discuss your survival options. No charge for that one. If you were a willing participant, that’ll be a bit more difficult, but certainly not impossible. Again, you’ve got a cutout, so if the best I can get out of them is some vague talk about a reduced sentence, you can walk away with your anonymity intact.

They only get your name if two conditions are satisfied; I’m sure it’s safe and you give me permission to do that.

I’ll sort out good legal representation for you in your country, wherever in the world that is. You’ll need that extra layer of legal protection, if only to stop them pressuring the details out of you without coughing up the reward. He’ll speak for you with them, under strict rules of client confidentiality. I’ll find a suitably hungry Rottweiler, who’ll be on a kill or cure deal, with a contractually agreed fixed sum or a percentage of the take. I’ll run him.

Right, time to talk about what I need from you.

First off, given that I’m on 20% of 10% of whatever money is involved, I’m setting the bar at 5 million USD, as the minimum amount of the swindle, from the government or whoever. I might go for a smaller amount, but I’d be adjusting my commission accordingly to make it worth my time. Not all countries have a legally defined reward, but that’s just a negotiating detail that I’ll sort out. We’re snitching for money and I’m not about to take the chance of putting myself in harm’s way for nickels or dimes. If I’m going to possibly take the pain of acting as your firewall, I’m not interested in the odd 10,000 USD, that black-holed on someone’s dirty weekend in Atlantic City.

Assuming you’ll get the usual 10% of that minimum, that puts you on half a million smackeroos, but after my 20%, you’re on 400,000 USD. Just think what you could do with a juicy lump sum like that. The bigger the scam, the more we both make.

If the people behind the scam are organised crime, I’m not interested, since they’ll have long ago bought what they needed by way of protection from law enforcement and the judiciary. For them, that’s just the usual accepted overhead of doing business. That variety of big money has big influence and a long memory. I’m too comfortable living where I am, and the prospect of having to disappear into a witness protection program with me and mine, simply doesn’t appeal.

I’ll need solid proof of wrongdoing, not just rumours around the water cooler. I’m talking documentation, falsified grant applications, renewal applications, phony progress reports, witness statements, deliberately doctored results, first hand stuff – the whole ten yards. If what you’ve got is good, but not good enough for a court, I’ll be asking you to take the risk of obtaining better proof. It’s not what you know that matters; it’s what you can prove.

I’m not interested in vague prospects but absolutely confirmed kills. I’ll be checking out not only the proof, but you too, and believe me, I know how to do both of those things.

At some point, when I absolutely know it’s safe, I’ll need you to make legal depositions in your own name of what you actually know or have seen. Ratting out whoever it is you’re going to be ratting out, could have a big impact on your life, never mind your career. Think about it carefully. If you’re not prepared to do that, don’t bother getting in touch.

If you can meet all the above requirements, we can start a conversation. There’s no need to feel you should be embarrassed, it’s just a perfectly legitimate business deal we’re putting together. I’m not the judgemental type and quite honestly, I’d prefer if you’re doing it just for the money, although I’m sure even then that there’ll probably be an element of payback involved, but I have to say, I trust a money motivation more. As Gordon Gekko famously said, greed is good, but more importantly, one can always rely on it, hence the binding contracts.

We’re in exactly the same boat. I’ll be making some money and at the same time, have the satisfaction of putting a Mk. 48 torpedo into the good ship global warming. Like every good business deal, everyone walks away from the table with more money in their pocket. You, me, the Rottweiler and the government. It’s a no-brainer win-win for us all, as long as everyone behaves themselves, which I’ll be making sure is happening.

You initially get in touch with me, by simply adding a comment to this article. All comments by a new contributor are visible to only me. Use a freshly minted email, from any of the free services, except gmail, because it scans the content of all emails in order to target advertising. If you pass the initial inspection here, and there will be one, I’ll establish a more secure line of communications between us.

If you ever once go outside that secure line, I’ll know I can’t protect you from yourself and hence you’re a risk to me, so I’ll walk away.

There’s a saying in fishing circles; the man with his line in the water the most, tends to catch the most fish, or expressed more simply, if you fish long enough, you’ll eventually get a bite. Obviously, an open offer like this is going to attract a fair share of time wasters and perhaps some agents of disinformation, whom I’ll enjoy playing some games with, before perhaps dumping them and their carefully falsified proof at the mercy of the authorities. I’ll leave God to sort that one out and I’ll share the resulting fun as a blog or two, but having said all that, I might just land a big fish or two. It’s a long shot, but it’s an idea and for the modest outlay of a few hours writing, it could potentially turn out to be very profitable. Time will tell.

Come to me with something decent. Betray them, flip on them, drop the dime, grass them up, blow the whistle, turn state’s, sell them out or whatever; you’ll be well rewarded.

You never know. As Monsieur Rick said to Louie, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Let’s make some serious money together.

Comments

In Australia..there is little protection for whistle blowers..and no money in “proving” CAGW scientists/journalists etc are making money directly from their mad claims.(indirectly the scientists/psychologists are of course).and..getting the same to admit making mistakes is virtually impossible..
Sadly..the fix is in..hope the US has a better chance..we are %$#@ doomed at the moment..brain dead MSM..bring on the election I say.. 🙂

My feeling is if you go to any audit section of a government, and tell them you’ve got solid proof they’re being defrauded out of 5 million plus, you can negotiate a finder’s fee. As for protection, that’d be my job.

I’m Brit (living in Mexico), you’re Brit. So, in a certain sense we understand each other. On climate, we probably agree, it would only be questions of details. I’m happy to read your long post (on another blog, Atheists.com, when I contributed something I got strong attacks about my use of paragraphs and language; like, irrelevant!). But I’m not sure what the purpose of your post is.

In Oz, our entire Administration operates on a “don’t startle the horses” basis. Our State and Federal Governments all have Auditors General but they never seem to find any significantly unbalanced books or questionable practices in doling out Grants for weird unjustifiable projects.

We have a Senate Estimates Committee who occasionally gives a bureacrat or two a ‘grilling’, but nothing that a grillee can’t handle after a few months ‘stress leave’.

The entire ethos seems to be to conceal, deflect, obfuscate, confuse, detract and discourage any tendency for anyone to actually tell the Australian electorate exactly what tax dollars are spent on, or from whom our borrowings flow. The System is designed to protect those who rise through the ranks of government or bureaucracy through incompetence, malfeasance, nepotism or outright corruption.

You’ll find no ‘finder’s fees’ here – nobody wants to deal with any pesky whistleblowers on their watch. Actually rewarding these annoying characters would be severely frowned upon. Good grief!! Actually encourage them? Surely you jest.

The really persistent ones are ridiculed, discredited, ignored, shunted from one department to another, and generally ground down until they run out of steam and quietly fade into obscurity.

One bloke who has been fighting seventeen years to expose corruption in the Union Movement/Labor Party and the involvement of a brace of current Government Frontbenchers from the Prime Minister down, has suffered everything including being beaten sensless and left for dead.

The first of these Union cretins has finally been arrested this week after another lady whistleblower had a shovelful of dirt left on her front doorstep, and many attempts to discredit her. She suffered a collapse and was labelled unstable and unreliable. She didn’t back down and now the first in a hopefully long string of arrests has been made.

But a reward for disclosure? Nope – can’t see it ever happening here in the Lucky Country.

This tip is not intended as a waste of time but, in the interests of full disclosure, it very well may be a proverbial wild goose chase.

The NOAA Mauna Loa observatory, Hawaii, (http://www.esrl.noaa.gov/gmd/ccgg/trends/) collects & publishes the CO2 content in Earth’s atmosphere. The trouble is…it is measured then, published as parts per million in DRY air. Their line is that removal of water vapor is necessary for greater accuracy. However, no mention is made (or can be found) about including water vapor back into the results.

Discounting or outright ignoring a large part of the atmosphere (water vapor & clouds) from “official” results is not only unethical, it’s outright fraud.

I noticed this as a complete outsider in a government operation. Thus, this observation may only lead to a dead end…

PaleoSapiens:
They also discard around 85% of the readings as “not as expected”.
The problem is that their results are easily checked elsewhere, so limiting any departure from actual levels.

Pointman:
I think you are wasting your time blogging this. Most, if not all, of your readers are sceptical of “Climate Change” in one way of the other. Now, if you put your offer on Monbiot’s or Real Climate websites…. You would have to rewrite it a little as an offer to help warmists thwart sceptics so the gullible don’t sensor it.

Minus from both of us the cost of jetting to, lets say Rio de Janeiro, and having a little celebratory conference of our own.

I’m presuming the cost of said ‘jaunt’ would be tax deductible given that any Government ‘Grant’ earned will most likely be treated as income in our hands. That would be ‘fine’ by me but it may be a point of consideration for some.

When you raised the whole whistle blower fee scenario in a prior post ….. you certainly got me thinking.

I for one would love to contribute to a successful outcome of such an endeavor. For free!

I’m ashamed to say that @asecretcountry and @blackswan have pertinent points but it would not stop us from focusing in on any Australian based researcher whom may have been the recipient of a USA Government research grant. And I understand this has occurred.

May I suggest another thing to do. Create a blog specifically for this whole topic regarding Scientific Grant fraud. Maybe only open to folk who register on your website.

I’m sure there are enough current members of this site who could administer such a blog site.

One thing I’d like to know is – what is the legal standing of a peer reviewed scientific theory? That has implications for us in our Australian context!

it’s a long shot, but the irony of possibly being able to fill a decent war chest with funds formerly destined for green causes, is simply too delightful an idea not to at least attempt.

You’re right about American funds being granted to organisations outside the states; they fall into the ambit of the 10% whistleblower legislation.

The peer review thing is tricky. A prosecutor is only interested in stuff they can get a jury to understand, even if they themselves know it’s dodgy. It’d just be one bunch of hired scientists versus another bunch; more than enough to bamboozle a jury.

If I ever make a decent score out of it, see you down in Rio for the weekend. None of that wing walking though …

If we are looking at the same thing I think I will pass thanks…I don’t want to ‘wing’ it.

Maybe a Copenhagen Don’t Know What to Do Conference (brrrr)….or a Cairns Rainforest/Reef/Tableland Conference (yay)…. or a Cebu Education/Fish/Forest/Tourism Conference (hey, I have started somewhere).

Whatever.

Maybe it is a long shot but, as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

And, I agree with your delightful thought.

The Trick part is, a government has accepted various scientific theorem and based their administration of government on those theorem.

The legal status of ‘scientific’ theorem needs to be probed because the potential outcome could yield a staggering results, with rewards.

Pointman:
I thought you were “drawing a long bow” but from 08/2011..
“As co-founder of Ceres Partners LLC, a Granger, Indiana-based investment firm, Vieth oversees 61 farms valued at $63.3 million in Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Tennessee. He’s so enthusiastic about the investments that he quit a job in 2008 overseeing $7 billion in fixed-income assets at PanAgora Asset Management Inc., a Boston-based quantitative money management firm, to focus full time on farming…. Investors are pouring into farmland in the U.S. and parts of Europe, Latin America and Africa as global food prices soar.
A fund controlled by George Soros, the billionaire hedge-fund manager, owns 23.4 percent of South American farmland venture Adecoagro SA. Hedge funds Ospraie Management LLC and Passport Capital LLC as well as Harvard University’s endowment are also betting on farming. TIAA-CREF, the $466 billion financial services giant, has $2 billion invested in some 600,000 acres (240,000 hectares) of farmland in Australia, Brazil and North America and wants to double the size of its investment…..
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-08-10/being-like-soros-in-buying-farm-land-lets-investors-reap-16-annual-gains.html
……Harvard and other major American universities are working through British hedge funds and European financial speculators to buy or lease vast areas of African farmland in deals, some of which may force many thousands of people off their land, according to a new study. Researchers say foreign investors are profiting from “land grabs” that often fail to deliver the promised benefits of jobs and economic development…. The new report on land acquisitions in seven African countries suggests that Harvard, Vanderbilt and many other US colleges with large endowment funds have invested heavily in African land in the past few years. Much of the money is said to be channelled through London-based Emergent asset management, which runs one of Africa’s largest land acquisition funds, run by former JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs currency dealers. Researchers at the California-based Oakland Institute think that Emergent’s clients in the US may have invested up to $500m in some of the most fertile land in the expectation of MAKING 25% RETURNS…. Research by the World Bank and others suggests that nearly 60m hectares – an area the size of France – has been bought or leased by foreign companies in Africa in the past three years…..”

I am sure that all those referred to are as honest as any banker or college head, but with that flood of money, there is always a chance of some “leakage”. Even 1% would suit your needs.

O/T but did I ever tell you about an ex wheat farmer from the back of Geraldton in WA. Got out after 7 years of drought. Most farmers did it tough there, but 2 farmers planted trees and earned a share of the carbon credits going overseas (the local scheme was but a gleam in Julia’s eye then). Naturally, even eucalypts seedlings didn’t survive without water, but 2 years later they did it again. Same acreage, same overseas buyer taking pictures for “verification”, same payout.
There was no comeback from Europe, they had their carbon offsets, and no-one wanted to go to the back blocks of WA to check.
He’s dead now, so it is all anecdotal.

Wow, I must admit that this post really intrigued me for numerous reasons, but one being that I am currently running http://snitchim.com!

Are you serious on this offere? Or have you just watched one to many episdoes of White Collar? I will admit I am big fan of white collar so I could understand if that’s the case. But guessing by the how deep and thorough this post is your are 100% dead serious!

Well, while I am snitch as explained from above for my blog, I am not a white collar snitch nor do I really know of any serious information to help you or me to get rich. Maybe I should go mingle some more with some rich folks.

Regardless, I really enjoyed checking your blog and I am sure I will be back to visit and read more very entertaining posts such as this!

Australian Officials can’t explain what happened to $100 million taxpayer dollars that have been paid to the Clinton Foundation in the past 10 years, including $10 million for a touted Clinton Carbon Capture and Storage enterprise that never saw the light of day.

There are no records of any refunds for abandoned projects either … nor of exactly how those millions were ever spent. No progress reports, no balance sheets – it all simply disappeared down a rabbit hole.

We also ‘donated’ $1 Billion to Pacific Island nations in the name of Climate Change mitigation programs but there’s been no report revealing to whom these monies were paid or exactly how it was spent.

These ‘Foundations’ are a giant Money Laundering Industry launched by American ex-Presidents where mountains of cash are washed and spun and put through the rinse-cycle, never to be seen again. If anyone knows how unaccountable Governments are, they do.

Click on it to go full size. Links to previous jiffies can be found here, where you can also leave comments.

Reporting on the cultural suicide of the West.

Since governments across Europe and their lackeys in the media suppress any reporting of the cultural destruction of Europe, I feel it important that the free internet should publicise such almost daily events – if only for the victims of sexual violence who’re sadly being ignored.

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