How to ... pry

We like to mind other people's business because most of us, in terms of our own lives, are only small business owners. Finding out things is the basis of the three most popular kinds of entertainment: the detective series, the quiz show and the hidden camera programme.

Mankind's relentless quest for knowledge sounds like a noble thing, but the most relentless part of it is the reading of other people's bank statements when they've been left lying around. Knowing something gives pleasure. Knowing something that other people don't know is even more pleasurable. And knowing something that no one knows you know is a bliss very close to ignorance.

Every community has its own human search engine who will know all there is to know about everything. Sometimes this information is open source, in that they will provide a limitless amount to all and sundry. More often than not, though, you will get it only by paying the price of revealing some information about yourself. Be aware that there's no box you can tick that prevents these people sharing your innermost secrets with carefully selected third parties.

Snooping on the neighbours is hard not to do when you live close to them and hear their every movement. Most criminals have long ago been detected by their neighbours, but go unreported in case the greater crime of snooping were to come to light.

The government has become prymaster general and, like the Spanish Inquisition, does so for our benefit. Like a younger brother reading your diary, the government can see little reason why it shouldn't know your innermost thoughts, because it, too, has the sneaking suspicion that your life is more interesting than its own.