So news is out that Akanishi Jin, who by the look of things spent the better part of his adult life taking his, uh, WildOatsMobile for more Test Drives than he can probably remember, is now a Married Man – and maybe a Dad-to-Be as well, with brand-new wifey Kuroki Meisa rumored to be a couple of months impregnito (lol). Shocker, I know. (While Meisa’s condition isn’t official (yet), her abrupt cancelation of all media and event appearances a few days before the Feb. 15 launch of her new album has kept the grapevine buzzing and those raised eyebrows, well, raised.)

The Little Dorama Girl turned two a few days ago (um, yay), although I know that things have been a little quiet on the bloggy front the past year. To be honest I haven’t had much progress with my drama To-Watch and review To-Write lists due to (what else?) Real Life obligations. But I hope that my 22 regular readers (down 2 from 24, ohnoes!) find themselves in a forgiving mood as they read this. THANK YOU for continuing to patronize my daft fangirly drivel, really I mean it. I don’t know if you notice, but I totally feel yer lurrve each time you drop me a line! Your comments brighten up my day, and that’s a fact. =D (And – dammit lurkers, STOP HIDING IN KAMENASHI’S CLOSET! lol)

So I hope you’ll enjoy what I’ve cooked up for my Second Anniversary Offering. Then again, maybe you’ll read this and curse the day you chanced upon my site, hahaha. But it’s Johnnies who got me blogging, and by gum, it’s Johnnies who’ll KEEP me going. I owe their skinny, tinsel-clad heinies more than most people give them credit for, so this post is for them – and for you, if you can, uh, keep an open mind while reading. This is something I’ve never tried before, but DAYYUM I HAD FUN WRITING IT SO THERE!!!

xoxo Ender’s Girl

*cue fairytale-y music*

Hello, I’m Ender’s Girl. For centuries, storytellers have spun their tales of magic and enchantment for the young at heart. There’s something about fairy tales that feels so familiar and universal, regardless of culture or clime. Some of these tales are funny, some are scary, and some romantic. But whatever the setting, these classic stories never fail to enthrall and entertain us – whether in their original form, or as modern-day retellings given a feminist twist, like Angela Carter’s “The Bloody Chamber,” or a satirical spin, like James Finn Garner’s “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories.”

I’ve taken the liberty of adding my own voice to the growing potpourri of contemporary fairy tale adaptations. So sit back and relax, and enjoy my collection of familiar stories – like you’ve never known them before:

A poor aspiring performer learns that with patience, hard work and a little magic, musical dreams really do come true, in “Jinderella.” A wooden puppet who yearns to be a real boy sets out on the journey of his life, in “YamaPinocchio.” And a beautiful kabuki princess fleeing great danger crosses paths with five multi-talented, chain-smoking miners who may just change her life forever, in “Matsu and the Five SMAPs.”

Should this interview go down in J-Pop infamy (and I’m sure it will be remembered for generations of fangirls to come), there’ll be none to blame but Jinny’s ROFLtastic (and cringe-worthy) hemming and hawing for a good chunk of the segment. Instead of answering the questions point-blank, he equivocates on the controversial semantics of his self-penned song; instead of bad-assing his way through the third degree with his usual bluntness, he chooses to be coy. You’re in Eemrricaa now, Jinny Boy, so it’s about time you manned up and learned to call a spade a spade – or rather, call spit a spit– if ya know what I mean, hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Once again, the Yuletide season is peeking around the corner. So what images does Christmas Day conjure for you? Carolers and church bells? Giant lanterns and Nativity scenes? Roasted chestnuts and spiced hot chocolate? Buying, recycling, unwrapping (and swapping!) of presents?

Let’s find out the Reason for the Season according to Akanishi Jin, newly minted L.A.-based solo artist. Here’s a viddy of Jinny sitting down for an interview on the UTB channel’s Music Talk segment where he elaborates on one of the songs he performed on his You and Jin tour, entitled – “Christmas Morning.” What he doesn’t talk about are Auto-Tune, Johnny Kitagawa, and his past life as a Japanese cheezucake — er, J-Pop Idol.

(The original uploader, Sujun2, took the video down on Aug. 27th as she had promised she would. So I’m embedding the only other Youtube video I could find. Credit to akanerojoatardecer.)

Last July 25th, Johnny Kitagawa sent Akanishi Jin a message. — In a bottle, you say??? No!!! — In a — Johnny!!! Actually — No!!! — In a pair of Johnnies, to be exact! Tokyohive reports that during the July 25th MC portion of KaT-TUN’s World Big 2010 Tour (WTF World Big????? hahahahaha), the topic turned to TV dramas that members had co-starred in. And Kamenashi Kazuya, ever Johnny’s loyal hatchet man-thing, pointedly asked Taguchi Junnosuke if he had ever done a drama with another member before, to which Junno (aka The Member Least Likely to Act Like an Ass — Until Now) replied that no he had not, (conveniently) forgetting that he had actually done not one, but two dramas with newly minted ex-member Akanishi Jin. (Yukan Club in 2007 and Omae no Yukichi ga Naiteiru in 2001.)

Junno’s loaded denial sparked off a wave of indignation among Jin fans and prompted heated reactions that Kame and Junno’s snarky exchange was tantamount to “mistreatment” of the former KaT-TUN idol. (Snarky yes, but… mistreatment? LAWL riiiight. What is Jin, a 4-year-old child locked away under the stairs?) Both camps (Jin vs. KaT-TUN) have since exchanged accusations and sundry excuses, all swinging from the “keep blinking real hard until you get the logic behind them” headscratch-worthy variety, to the downright LOLWHATesque — like, Technically Jin isn’t part of the band no mo’, so Junno wasn’t obliged to mention him!!! Or — maybe Junno simply forgot!!! He forgot that he did those two dramas with Jin, amongst the — um, oodles of dramas he’s done it’s so hard keeping track of ‘em all!!!