Why not just come clean?

Seriously? The gambler will do anything and everything to keep his shameful secret from being discovered by the people around them.

The Gambler and the Awful Truth

If the family or loved one was to hear the truth about the thousands of hours spent gambling when they been told for many months/years that this person had been doing something else entirely, they would feel deceived, abused and betrayed by the gambler and be out of there in a heartbeat! At least that’s what the Gambler believes.

And if the partner was also to learn about the vast amount of money spent on gambling when instead they had previously been told again & again that were short of money or excuses about not receiving that pay rise or bonus, then again they would feel robbed and violated.

So in the gambler’s scrambled mind there is NEVER a time when they can disclose this information voluntarily. This explains why 9 out of 10 gamblers have to be caught out, rather than confessing first. Incidentally the 1 of out 10 that does confess is rarely confessing the whole truth, just their version of it.

So does a Gambler ever Confess?

Things need to reach a point of no return, where either:

The gambler gets found out (having raising suspicion by staying out longer, not coming home, having no money, being seen in the betting shop, getting letters or visits from finance companies, etc)

The partner challenges the gambler with their suspicions and gives them an ultimatum

When this moment happens, it is simultaneously the best and the worst moment of the gambler’s life. They are consumed with shame over their actions, but feel the huge burden lifting that they have carried alone for so long.

More often than not there will have been elements of Manipulation, Misdirection or an absence of the whole truth within this confession. They will attempt to limit the damage and lessen the impact of their terrible revelations. Even then they will attempt to “manage” the situation, as it has become an ingrained habit.

Another gambling session

If a gambler does confess he may want to run back to the pub, casino, or their laptop.

Here they can self-medicate their frustrations & fears, and somehow convince themselves that they have the situation under control.

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