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Although this is a conservative blog I have a liberal blogrolling policy. I will add anyone to my blogroll who adds me to theirs, whether conservative, liberal, moderate, libertarian or Albigensian, with the exception of spam or porn blogs or anything else your mother would be embarrassed to read. Just email me if you add me and I'll add you.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Politicoreports that conservative columnist Robert Novak "was cited by police after he hit a pedestrian with his black Corvette in downtown Washington, D.C., Wednesday morning." The pedestrian who rudely got in Novak's way is attorney David Bono, a partner at Hawkins Cunningham who has given $1,000 to Barack Obama's campaign. While I understand that the McCain campaign has been having difficulties getting its message out with the media swooning over Obama's overseas trip, I'm not sure that having surrogates run over Obama partisans is the most efficient strategy for winning the election, though it is admittedly better than the ideas they have come up with so far.

Calling voters whiners and running over the opposition's supporters with a Corvette might have worked in previous elections, but I don't think they are going to work in this one. Using such old-fashioned campaign tactics just reinforces the idea that McCain is past his prime and that he is still fighting the last war instead of formulating a vision for the future. And using men like Phil Gramm and Robert Novak, one of the few working journalists who is actually older than McCain, though only by a few years, as surrogates just reinforces the idea that a bunch of old men are trying to help McCain get elected.

It is unlikely that Novak hit Bono unintentionally and didn't realize what he had done since one witness said Bono was "splayed across the front of Novak’s convertible," although it is possible Novak didn't have his reading glasses on. Novak's hit-and-run actually sounds like the brainchild of Karl Rove, who is advising the McCain campaign. Rove and Novak last worked together when they attacked the credibility of Joe Wilson by outting his wife Valerie Plame as a CIA agent. Although that operation was largely successful, Novak didn't do as well this time. Novak failed to get away with it, as he did in the Plame operation, because Bono ran after him and forced him to stop. And he didn't even manage to take Bono out, which is a serious blow to Novak's reputation as the Grim Reaper. All in all this operation was not a success, although Novak did get a break from the legal system since he could have been charged with hit and run, just as he escaped serious charges in the Plame operation. At least Rove is still apparently able to pull a few strings.

But even if this particular operation had been a success, I have to question Rove and Novak's judgment. They are going to have to run down a lot of pedestrians to make any dent in support for Obama. Perhaps they thought running down just one Obama partisan would send a message to others that there are consequences for supporting the wrong candidate. But the fact that Bono emerged with only minor injuries isn't likely to scare anyone and may in fact embolden the opposition.

I am pleased that the McCain campaign has apparently decided that just waiting for Obama to make a mistake is not going to win the election. At least they are starting to go on the offense instead of playing defense. But I think they need to come up with better strategies, such as, and I'm just thinking off the top of my head here, offering a positive vision for the country.

Update: An alert reader points out that Bono was not actually the victim of Novak's hit and run but was just a witness who stopped Novak when he tried to get away. This just reinforces my point that the operation was badly botched. Novak apparently hit the wrong guy.

Update 2: Robert Novak has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Our prayers go out to him and his family.

Sir, he was not just hitting a pedestrian and perhaps an Obama supporter (or even delaying an Obama financier from his hectic day of lobbying, the one who detained him).

No, Novak was engaged in that time-honored tradition of Chaos Theory.

bear with me for a moment: Novak, thru his connections to Rove, clearly has some sort of device to peer into the future.

After all, how else could Karl Rove have known *precisely* which states to steal in the 2000 and 2004 elections, unless he knew ahead of time the actual outcome of the voting?

So Novak peered into the future alongside Rove (think the Batcave, with Novak as Robin). They look Barack to the future (sorry), and realize that Bono was on his way to a telephone conference that would change the fate of history, and make Obama a clear winner in November.

Novak did the only thing a loyal sidekick could do. He took the Batmobile (you wondered about the black Corvette?), and found the precise moment that would delay Bono.

I agree that using a Corvette to run down Obama supporters is so "fighting the last war." A Hummer H-3 would be the go!

Face it, Vettes are made of fibreglass, so they would suffer body damage before they damaged many bodies. America's only sportscar is low to the ground, so it would only hit an average-height Obamaniac at knee level. They might still get to vote from a wheelchair, although Herr Rove may be able to do away with handicapped access to the polls in the name of anti-political correctness.

But a Humvee, especially if it's one of the military-spec ones, is high and tough enough to crush Democrats at chest level and roll over their slippery, bleeding limbs. Plus the conservatives driving them would have the satisfaction of knowing the Dems would be aggrieved at the amount of petrol the Hummers were wasting to chase them down. Ha-ha! Take that, you Earth-protecting sissies!

By using a Corvette, and not even killing his victim, I wonder whether Novak has gone soft? He did break a hip, and might have gotten it repaired by using Medicare. The libs could have gotten to him then; convinced him that socialised medicine for decrepit old people is preferable to letting them die (unless they're rich.)

What has Novak done for the conservative cause since exposing the traitorous actions of that Saddam apologist Wilson? I think he should be made to explain himself with the benefit of some enhanced interrogation. Old guy like that, it shouldn't even make the interrogator break a sweat before he's singing.

Thank you for the information, Carl. I had no idea the Hummers were so efficient! Some engineer at GM needs to design an afterburner that will speed the Hummer incrementally by igniting jets of raw fuel and spurting them out the tailpipe, in order to aggravate dirty tree-humping hippes who are concerned about such things.

Between 1978 and 2001, I owned a 1963 split-window Vette. I don't know what mileage it got because for about 17 of those 22 years, it was sitting inoperable in the garage or a restoration shop. Even if it had been reliable, I would not have used it to run down liberals a la "Death Race 2000" (a Novak thumbs-up movie if there ever was one). That would have spoiled the paint job. But I didn't have Novakula's money for new paint. Although the red on my car would have hidden the bloodstains as well as Novak's black Vette.

Your right to alert us to the weakness in this strategy - I agree they need to work on there ads, not try to get rid of important supporters one by one. I hope there reading this blog. Keep up the good fight Jon!

""Bono, Sting and Bob [Geldorf] have formed this ridiculous blessed trilogy—stop preaching, please. "Every time I see Bono in those big fly glasses and tight leather pants I just can't hack it. I can't see that as solving the world's problems, "He's crushing his testicles in tight trousers for world peace."~~John Lydon

I sure hope that "brain tumors" have not replaced "alcoholism-slash-rehab" as the new excuse for idiotic acts of moronic dumbdumb.

NO OFFENSE TO NOVAK's AILING HEALTH...Seriously, I only mean disrespect to all the rest of him that is still healthy. That scotch guzzling sycophant!

I used to suspiciously think that Novak was "deep throat"...either him or Jack Valenti. I was bummed to be wrong on both fronts. And I lost a hefty 20bucks over it too and that was when the dollar was actually worth something.

Good piece BrohamSwifty!

Michelle Obama is on record as saying that Barack could easily get shot just by going to a Gas Station. *hope you caught her quote, it's classic*

Anyway, now that people can't afford gas, Obama is safe, so I think if the Repugs seriously wanted to hurt the Obama Campaign they'd simply lower the price of oil? No?

Whatever...Novak is a dinglefritz...pfffffft

I eagerly await your next monster!Can you write something about cheeseburgers... I like to eat cheeseburgers!

To the sputtering Anonymous, thank you! By the length of your outraged response, I see I have enraged you with far fewer words than the Honourable Swift. Touche, Jon -- I top you on the pissed-off-per-word score!

And yes, sputtering Anonymous (Lucianne Goldberg's son, perhaps? You have a given name, but for the life of me, I can't recall it) -- I wank from time to time. Perhaps you should try it. Improves the mood dramatically!

Well, it was obviously a relative of U2's Bono, who tried to screw Wolfowitz out of the chance to run the World Bank into the ground by turning it into a neocon welfare agency. Ergo, Bono deserved to get run over, too.

Novak's column will be missed, especially by Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame. Who now will give us thrilling future installments of "The Spy Who Was Pushed into the Cold?"

No doubt you find it so. It's reportedly the standard self-consolation technique of depressed lefties.

In fact, Wanker, now that you mention it, virtually Jon's whole crew of regulars is composed of trilling serial wankers, whose main use of this venue is in publicly massaging themselves, and ol' Jon Boy, to a fevered pitch.

Well, so many lives, so many tastes.

The thing you might try to figure out - if you are actually interested in figuring things out - is why, given the fact that you are a professed wanker, you would then attempt to apply it as a derogatory term to anyone else.

Or, you could just go on wanking yourself ... and taking pride in being an annoyance.

Well, it was obviously a relative of U2's Bono, who tried to screw Wolfowitz out of the chance to run the World Bank into the ground by turning it into a neocon welfare agency. Ergo, Bono deserved to get run over, too.

Maybe it was Sonny Bono's crazed illegitimate son? You know, the one he had when he had sex with a human?

I recently noticed that a lot of the good folks who showed me link love have faded off into the sunset. I’m still on most of the blogrolls (or linked in individual posts) but the technorati hourglass has apparently run out of sand. Blogrolls can keep a person’s link, but after 6 months—if nothing has changed then it drops off the radar regardless.

So, I sent out a huge link love post with a link included to you. I was wondering if you could do the same - that way the authority stays where it should be for all of us.

I have had your blog's home page open on my Firefox web browser for several days now, meaning to comment here. I don't remember now exactly how I came across your weblog, but I remember thinking that it might be a traditionalist conservative blog... I have, in the past, bemoaned the lack of traditionalist conservative sites in the Blogosphere (I remember doing a web search for my past comments on that, but it's been awhile since I did so, and most of those past comments seem to have evaporated... It's horrible how things change, [seemingly] so fast!!)

In more-recent years, however, there has been an increase of traditionalist conservative and pro-liberty viewpoints and perspectives - in the Blogosphere, in the GOP, in the national debate and discourse, and - very significantly - within the conservatives of our generation.

Looking on your sidebar, I don't know if you are part of that tradition, or somewhat related to it, or if you just have an unusually-inclusive blogroll (actually, I think that the latter is definitely true, by your description). And I remember now your title subheading (which isn't visible, since I'm in comment mode), does say that you are conservative.

What type of conservative I am not sure, but I hope, the Right kind.

[P.S. - Because of the quality of this weblog, I was thinking, when I discovered it, that I wish I had been here before... I don't know if I have, though. If you started it in 2007, or even perhaps 2006, that could have something do with it... I have been periodically out-of-the-loop, Blogosphere-wise, during that period - though also at other times. You should have been on my main blogroll, as of last night/this morning... But if not, please let me know, and that will be corrected. (I almost never visit my own blog, so as not to add another visit to my hit counter; I'd rather it all be from other visitors.) And, if I find that your philosophy is right [I mean, Right right], then I may have to add "Jon Swift" to the sidebar of my secondary blog as well.]

Obama is very popular here in Germany. But the medias here don´t tell us about his unpopular attitudes towards gun possession, war in afghanistan or death penalty. Anyway I think 1. he will be a good president 2. you can´t become president of the US when you don´t make this concessions.

" Looking on your sidebar, I don't know if you are part of that tradition, or somewhat related to it, or if you just have an unusually-inclusive blogroll (actually, I think that the latter is definitely true, by your description). And I remember now your title subheading (which isn't visible, since I'm in comment mode), does say that you are conservative.

What type of conservative I am not sure, but I hope, the Right kind."

You realize that Jon Swift is a lefty engaged in role playing?

His "blog" is an unevenly executed, but highly motivated send up of a bumbling, unreflective, knee-jerk, conservativism.

Jon!! Where the hell are you?! I have been checking the blog everyday for a month and still no new post. We miss you again!! I think if you posted at least three times a week, we will be a whole lot better off.

I can't wait until I see Swift's explanation of the rationale for McCain choosing Gov. Miss Mooseturd as his vice presidential nominee. I know many conservatives are disheartened, thinking this is another abysmally stupid move that will further relegate the Republicans to the popularity status of those unforgettable Whigs. But Swift can rationalise, I just know it. Why, that might be the reason we haven't seen him for a while -- he was on the exploratory committee!

Mr. Swift? Are you alright? Surely you're not just going to let material this rich just fade away without comment. I mean, it's pretty much all freebies all the time out here right now and I just don't think anyone can do with it what you can. Pardon me, Sir, but it's a grave disservice to just let this go by. But I pray you are well, in any case....

Question Where is Jon Swift?Answer: He has taken a new job as advisor to vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Who better to prepare that callow candidate for answering Charlie Gibson's softball questions?

Jon Swift knows international relations. He has an atlas.

He knows economic policy. There's some loose change in his pocket.

He has a firm grasp on environmental issues. He breathes air and throws stuff away regularly.

Most importantly, he is a master satirist. Who better to train a V-P candidate how not to say what she really means and to say, instead, other things that on the face of it make you bitterly laugh?

A psychologist administers the Rorschach test to a patient. As each card is presented, the patient sees something sexual. Finally, the therapist says, ''You seem to be obsessed with sex.'' And the patient replies: ''Me? Doctor, you're the one showing the dirty pictures.''

" Mr. Swift? Are you alright? Surely you're not just going to let material this rich just fade away without comment. I mean, it's pretty much all freebies all the time out here right now and I just don't think anyone can do with it what you can. Pardon me, Sir, but it's a grave disservice to just let this go by. But I pray you are well, in any case....

9/03/2008 3:00 PM "

Hello Shannon.

Thank you so much for expressing your appreciation and concern.

However you need not fear ...

Jon Swift will soon be back, and again doing what he does second best.

Like you, Jon's many other readers will be gladened to know that he is recuperating nicely from his recent misadventure with auto-erotic asphyxiation, and is feeling much his old self.

Let this be a warning too, to all like-minded social progressives, that even an experienced practitioner like Jon can miscalculate.

Fortunately, in this case the closet door was left open, and the cleaning lady was able to take prompt action after stumbling on the scene.

We are also pleased to report that the surgery to remove the cola can and golf balls was completely successful.

Sadly however, Jon's German Shepard did not survive.

You may look forward to more of Jon's incisive mockery of conservatives in the near future.

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