BS 4 U

The Met Office issued a code yellow weather alert today, warning that a full week of “weather considered extremely normal for Bristol” is set to cause chaos and destruction across the UK.

In a statement on its website, the Met Office advised that the heavy rain and severe gales could “very likely lead to the loss of hats, messed up hairstyles and busted wind chimes.”

The average life expectancy of an umbrella in Bristol is one outing.

Numerous reports of toppled bins and streets covered in rubbish in Easton, Montpelier, St Pauls and Bedminster were made last week, before the storm hit. So it’s unlikely anyone in the Bristol city region will notice any difference.

There is also a high chance that the weather will be used as excuse for the usual delays in public transport.

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“We are expecting all the weather over the coming days: strong winds, rain, hail, showers, drizzle, sun, overcast, mild, blizzard and other. Or, just a typical week, if you live in Bristol,” warned BBC Weather presenter, Hayley Sleet.