Menu

Month: August 2015

I ventured out into a new part of London yesterday, I had no rhyme or reason, I just kind of wanted to go. So I woke up early (too early) after a late night out with friends, ate some breakfast, got dressed, and walked out the door before many of my flatmates had even left their beds. From the second I woke up I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, but doubted myself for a second in thinking, should I wait for everyone else to wake up before I leave? Should I ask if anyone wants to come with me? Deep down I knew that I’d be happiest if I ventured out alone and it bothered me that I second-guessed myself, so it got me thinking…

It is pretty abnormal for a girl my age to prefer doing things on her own than in the company of other people, especially in discovering a new city which she knows barely anything about. Now I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, after all my phone is pretty much useless in this country so getting lost in London is quite easy for me to do and finding my way home can be quite difficult. Despite this though, the fear that accompanies being a young female alone in a foreign city, I still wanted and greatly preferred being alone yesterday. Now, a big misconception people have about me (and others like me?) is that I am shy and/or do not enjoy the company of other people – but let me tell you right now, neither one of those beliefs are true. I’m not shy and I thoroughly enjoy the company of my friends, I guess I just enjoy my own company a little bit more sometimes. Honestly, I can’t tell you why this is – why I enjoy spending time alone – and I wish I could because I ask myself why? every single day. I wish I knew why, or could at least explain why, I really do. Especially when I’m talking to two of my friends and one of them goes, “I’m not yet brave enough to be alone in London” to which the other replies, “Oh yeah, definitely not! I feel like I would get so lonely.” at which point I just sit in silence. This quality I possess, the quality of a natural tendency to alienate myself from others, makes me different. And because this makes me different, I’ve spent a lot of time wishing and trying to change it. But I’m learning that I can’t change, and probably shouldn’t change, because at the end of the day being alone is what makes me happy.

Picture of Saint Paul’s Cathedral taken on yesterday’s lonely excursion.

So it’s officially been one week since I moved to London. I don’t really know how else to explain how I feel about this city other than, I LOVE IT. Instead of boring with you how wonderful I think London is and how my classes are amazing and the beer here is exceptional, I would instead like to tell you a story. That story being, the moment I fell in love with the city of London:

It wasn’t love at first sight. It wasn’t until yesterday actually that I felt that sort of warm and fuzzy feeling, that feeling you get when all is right in the world – you know that feeling? Yeah, it’s great. So back to yesterday, I had just finished day two of orientation (*cue snoring* because orientation is b-o-r-i-n-g) and ventured out with my fellow flatmates (they call apartments “flats” here – so cool, I know!) to find the nearest Primark (basically London’s version of an even cheaper Forever 21). We got off the tube station (the subway is referred to as the “tube”) and started walking, walking in what turned out to be the wrong direction. But I’m getting ahead of myself – so we were walking, and walking some more when all of a sudden I felt it. I felt wholesome and happy and downright content with where I was and where I was going. Now mind you, it was raining this sort of slow on-and-off drizzle, the sun wasn’t shining by any means, and I was being pushed and shoved by the rush-hour pedestrian traffic. But despite all of those things, the things that often make me angry or annoyed, I could not have been happier. I think that’s what true love means anyway – when someone or something’s most irritable traits don’t even bother you anymore. Then, to add to it, we (my flatmates and I) discovered we had in fact been walking in the exact opposite direction of Primark the entire time. But let me tell you, and believe me when I say this, I could not care one bit! I had my love-goggles on and could not have been happier in my new home. I love you London, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.