FlavouR oF LIfe....lovE it and LiVe it ...

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

A friend of mine ada talked about the feeling lonely on her fb wall post... n it got me thinking that yea once in a while I do feel alone, lonely n will be forever alone (very the loser punya ayat)... Dulu2 when my mum passed away, I was soooooo determined to get married and follow my husband where ever he will be located. Loser giler kan impian aku tu... WHY??? because I'm the youngest in the family, and I'm practically don't really have a great relationship with my dad but we cool sometimes (to be honest I never ever had any memory celebrating raya with him n yea he is pretty much still breath the air as I typed this) all my other siblings were either too busy with their life n family or they just don't care about me or I don't want to trouble anybody. That was the time when I felt soooo ALONE n LONELY, and l blamed Allah for taking my mak away from me. Life was extremely miserable during that time you know. Thank god for the an angel sent from heaven, sape lagi kalau bukan ct masitah md.zin a.k.a ctot, she was there from the very beginning of my medieval age that soon turn into Renaissance after all the blood, sweat n tears..(tears la paling meriah skali, ari2 melalak smpi kurus eh kurus ker??) Ok to cut the story short, thank god that all the past relationships didn't work out to the stage that lead to marriage. Or else I would have married them for the sake of escapism, run away from my problem, my life n my family. But if someone ask for my hand now (okay lets not think about the worst case scenario of no/nada/takde org nak kawen gan aku lah hahahha) n if l think u r responsible enough to take care of urself (he needs to be able to take care himself first hokay) then myself n the family maybe I'll consider it. Even though my biological clock is ticking like a headless chicken I would never ever just main sapu jek everything that is infront of my eyes... hey we kawen to be bahagia not untuk makan hati berulam jantung hokay!!! But to be honest at this kinda age...I already started to have a vision of it is okay to stay like this forever. Tak kawen tak masuk neraka kan??? hahahha... (that was exactly I said to liza when she asked when is my turn to jump into the band wagon...oh she'll get married this coming August and nanti lah I will story2 bout it). Well how funny life is, in just a couple of years my most ultimate goal in life have turned into something that I just couldn't care less anymore. One more round of becoming the maid of honor then I'm pretty sure almost to 99% (told ctot already) it's going to be ctot's turn next. And then there is me AGAIN with the cop mohor at the forehead, the forever maid of honor (don't get me wrong, it is an honor to be selected as one okay)... Well then as I completed the 3rd round of my duty as the maid of honor than walllaaaa i'm jinx..hahahha Hai lil'jinx u just found a bff then (hissshhh lama nya tak baca Archie)... Okies tu jek nak merepek n merapik, dan misi nye sekarang mari lah menjadi kurus n hawt for the wedding..eh not mine lah tapi liza hahahaha Okies...daaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....xoxo~~~~