What is this shit, Perry? Here we've got the third Rick Perry ad of this week, and what does it tell us: nothing. No, strike that: It tells us something. It tells us that the Rick Perry campaign is just going to spend all of that money it raised this summer on worthless bland ads until there's nothing left, and he can finally peace the hell out and return to his beloved Niggerhead.

Would it surprise you to learn that Texas Governor and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry …
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Is this the sort of transcendent language that the Perry campaign expects to bring about a resurgence?

When you run for president, you get a bunch of questions about your faith. People want to know what drives you—how you make decisions.

Now some liberals say that faith is a sign of weakness. Well, they're wrong.

I think we all need God's help. America's greatest leaders have been people of strong faith, of strong values. That makes for a strong America.

I'm Rick Perry. I'm not ashamed to talk about my faith. And I approve of this message.

If the traditional "I love Jesus the most" tactic for winning Iowa hasn't worked for Rick Santorum — who actually does love Jesus the most and has campaigned (accessibly) in all 99 of the state's counties — then it's not going to work for dumb Rick Perry. Newt Gingrich, who has divorced hundreds of wives, is a good bet to win the Iowa caucuses at this point. Maybe the social conservative vote is a trickier beast this time around, hmm?

I mean c'mon. "When you run for president, you get a bunch of questions about your faith." Thank you, sixth grade social studies student. "Now some liberals say that faith is a sign of weakness." So? "Well, they're wrong." Devastating rejoinder, there; that strawman won't be able to walk straight for weeks. "I'm not ashamed to talk about my faith." Courageous, really, considering the masses of Iowa Republican voters who have been trying to shame him out of talking about his faith.