MUNCIE, Indiana – Experts have issued a call for scientists to establish a clear definition of “habitable planets” to make the search easier. They recommend researchers to take a conservative approach when looking for these planets.

“We want to clearly define what we are wasting our time looking for,” said one of the experts referenced above.

In related news,/after 10 years and at a cost of six million dollars, NASA scientists have finally completed the menu that will regulate what astronauts eat during a space voyage from earth to Mars that will never happen.

“This is bullshit.”

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So I’m at Cafe Bernardo in Davis eating breakfast with Steve and Cindy – friends visiting from Kansas City – when, as a joke (perhaps a bad joke) I suggest an idea for a parody of the musical film Fiddler on the Roof.

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My parody was entitled Hitler on the Roof.

Years ago, I had a similar idea for a gay version of the Oklahoma! that I decided to memorialize using photoshop:

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That night I devoted significant time with photoshop to creating this:

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I was quite please with my efforts. But the next morning I began to wonder if anyone thought of it before I did.

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Someone did. A Google Image search found this, posted in 2007:

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I dug a bit deeper and found that I wasn’t just late, I was way, way behind in marrying Hitler to Hollywood:

SANFORD, Fla. – Mitt Romney’s final event in the Sunshine State struck an optimistic tone when he told a white, uneducated crowd of supporters – 90 percent of which are unemployed and have no health insurance – that a “better tomorrow, tomorrow” awaits them.

The enthusiam of the crowd — which chanted “kill the niggers and jews!” — appeared to energize Romney, as he took a detour from his prepared remarks.

“Tomorrow, we begin a new tomorrow,” he said. “We can begin a better tomorrow tomorrow, and with the help of the people in Florida, that’s exactly what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

“‘Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow’ summarizes the stupidity of the American political process,” Colbert said. “It is the perfect satire of vapid, meaningless political slogans. How can I continue using that as the slogan for my parody super pac if it becomes an actual vapid, meaningless political slogan said as part of Romney’s attempt to fool people into voting for him?”

“This is a theft of intellectual property, that’s what it is,” Colbert continued. “Romney has diluted my trademarked joke by using it as an actual slogan, hoping to persuade stupid people to vote for him. He has drained all of the value out of what was a very clever and funny – and very trademarked – joke.”

MUNCIE – Jack Welch, founder and former CEO of General Electric, Romney surrogate and de facto spokesman for the Republican Party stated that the statistics showing a slow but steady improvement for the national economy have been fabricated by the Obama administration.

Welch’s sentiment reflects a constant Republican complaint about the U.S. economy. They believe it cannot be improving and must be getting worse.

“These numbers can’t be real,” Welch said. “We did everything we could to ruin the economy. We gave America George Bush and he gave us two wars and huge entitlements that he paid for with money borrowed from China. He drove the deficit up to astronomical levels. Obama inherited an economy that simply could not be fixed, and after he was elected, Republicans in congress did everything they could to stop him from fixing the economy by create jobs. So numbers showing any improvement must be wrong.”

Others disagree.

“These statistics show what we all know, and that is that the American economy is finally rising out of the dark hole that the Republicans dug for the nation and that President Obama inherited from George Bush,” said Big Bird, a Public Television celebrity. “Obama had an impossible job to do, but now his policies are working. There is no need to make drastic cuts in public spending, especially funding for Public Television,” Bird said. “So Mitt Romney can go fuck himself.”

During his first Presidential Debate, Republican candidate Mitt Romney refused to say which government programs he would cut, but when pressed he said he would cut funding for Public Television.