Not Near My Crotch

This perfectly ghastly combination of vibrator and shaver is called The Womaniser.“The magnificent Womaniser is not only smooth to the touch – it’ll leave you smooth and strokable, too! This intimate shaver is hidden inside a single speed silicone massaging vibrator – the perfect combination for a night of orgasmic personal pleasure.” Yeah for multi-tasking eh? After you shave yourself to make sure that your body is appropriately smooth, you can just flip this little baby around and get down with the self pleasure. Don’t you just love the fact that even if you are masturbating you must make sure that your body is still smooth. How can you possible get off if you happen to feel a hair on your own body? Gotta keep policing that muff.

For an extra 4 pounds you can even get it beautifully gift wrapped. MMM what’s coming down the chimney tonight.

This gorgeously packaged toy includes:

– Sex toy and personal shaver

– Elegant safety cap and sealant ring

– Replaceable bullet motor (original lasts for up to 40 minutes)

– Additional shaving add-ons

– Bullet key (for removing the vibrator motor)

– Batteries

– User manual

This little gem is not the only product sold by this company. Just to make sure that both sexes receive pleasure they also market drum roll please… a cock ring. HMM what gross little add ons are on the cock ring? A switch blade maybe? Some new way to make the penis pretty before it is put to use.

Sorry to disappoint you, it is simply a vibrating cock ring. No fancy attachments associated with gender discipline or pain. When it comes to a cock it is all about pleasure. Only women would be “silly” enough to willingly put a knife near their crotches and smile pretty while they’re doing it. How did I manage to have orgasms all these years without a razor near my precious clit? But hey it comes in two pretty colours don’t you feel reassured now?