“Mirror, Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all?” We are all too familiar with this famous line stated by the wicked queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. This woman’s obsession with being number one made her less attractive and ultimately led to her demise.

As women, why do we feel that we have to be the most attractive in comparison to other women? When we look in the mirror the least of our concerns should be how we measure up with another. We are all beautiful in our own individual right and when we embrace our unique qualities we are able to stand in admiration of the portrait of greatness before us. It is when we accept ourselves as creatures of inestimable worth that we become readily available and willing to affirm the rare beauty we recognize in those who we interact with.

I would like to share with you three ways to accept and embrace your rare beauty:

1. You must believe that you are beautiful. We often allow poor decisions and the opinions of others to dissuade us from believing that we are special and worthy to be esteemed highly. I remember vividly a conversation I had with a gentleman during my college years. He asked me a question that pierced me deeply, “Do you think that you are special?” Who doesn’t think that they are special? Especially, when you look like America’s Next Top Model. At that moment I heard an inner alarm clock ringing frantically in my heart. I could not honestly answer yes to this simple question. If you don’t feel that you are beautiful, it is imperative that you seek out the answer to this pertinent question?

2. Create a new mental picture of what true beauty is. If you define true beauty based upon what is currently being printed in magazines you will be striving towards a false image that will leave you frustrated to say the least. It is essential that you define in your own terms, which makes you feel and look beautiful. Is it the sweet fragrance that makes you smell like a pure calla lily or that smashing one piece solid gold dress that reveals a portion of your well curved hips, maybe it’s that arresting lilac eye shadow so carefully blended from lid to brow, more importantly maybe it’s the river of tears that flow when you watch an endearing cinematic film that engrosses your emotions from beginning to end. Authentic beauty flows from within not without and just like a vapor of smoke external beauty is guaranteed to fade with time.

3. Affirm the beauty recognized in others. One quote that I have tucked away in my inspirational treasure chest is, “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” Greatness and Beauty are multiplied as we decide to share our light with other women. The added benefit is that as we affirm and celebrate others we inherently fight off the vicious cycle of competition rooted in jealousy and insecurity. This is how you will stay pure in your thoughts and thereby avoid the need to poison an apple with the intention to destroy when the purpose of fruit is to nourish and strengthen.

Take another look in the mirror and tell me what do you see? I see a portrait of greatness with you alone in it smiling back at me!