New for Christmas 2013: Sky+ remote now lets you pause and rewind live arguments

Hurried onto the market for the important Christmas period, Sky TV have announced a new upgrade of their Sky+ remote control. Thanks to a new software upgrade with just one touch of a button conversations can be paused, and taken back to re-live key moments in traditional family rows.

Dave and Angela Willis were early adopters of the new service, and are thrilled with the results.

‘He says he didn’t say he’d take the turkey out to defrost?’ commented Mrs Willis, ‘Let’s just go back and check that shall we? And let’s see if it goes back far enough to the time he said he’d do the cooking seeing as it was his family descending this year. Thank you Sky!’

‘I love the way you can permanently keep conversations,’ said Mr Willis. ‘Like the time she said we definitely weren’t getting each other anything this year. And I know she pulls a face every time I mention my mother’s roast potatoes. Now we can see it in high definition. Pause, there’s the face. Pause, there’s the face. It’s a wonder what you can do these days.’

While initially intended to improve the functionality of couples having domestics, the technology is proving to have other unanticipated uses. Many customers are now expected to pause Christmas day at the point an elderly aunt arrives at the door, spending a few minutes fixing a large drink and popping to the loo. They can then start it again ten minutes later, meaning they’ll be able to fast forward through the dull bits where she goes on about the Christmases they had before her husband Ken died.

Beyond Christmas, however, there is a concern that the novelty will wear off. Mr Willis bemoaned the inability to just series link episodes from his marriage from around 9.30 on a Sunday morning. Meanwhile Mrs Willis complained that it seemed too easy to hit the x12 button during the racy bits of their lives, and that the on-demand button doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

Sky, however, assured subscribers it is working on further updates to address these problems. In the next few months, the Willis family should find that other domestic channels become available offering new exciting content, some of it from Scandinavia, which will be accessible by entering a PIN, and with no details appearing on their bill.

‘We’re always trying to offer our customers more,’ said a Sky spokesman, ‘And Mrs Willis in particular should find the launch of Lars offers an exciting alternative to being on Dave.’