'Twas a sad start to a long day. The Ancient Chinese have a
curse, "May you live in interesting times."

Which couldn't be more fitting to my trip thus far.

Ralph (another colored fella, possibly related to Bob) did not
wish to let me take a necessary tool (a multi headed screwdriver)
with me to Chicago, in my laptop case. Ralph (another colored
fella, possibly related to Bob) explained that I could mail
"stabby" back home to myself for the low price of
$8.00. Quick like a ninja, I did the math and sadly realized that
"stabby" and I would have to part ways, as I paid only
a dollar for him at the discount store. Remembering the good
times "stabby" and I had shared, a lone tear ran down
me cheek, as I begrudgingly gave him up. Why he is called
"stabby" is a tale for another time I am certain.

Arriving promptly at the hotel in Chicago, I have some light chat
with Amy the desk clerk. Hereafter referred to as "She whose
bosoms defy gravity". Being the dangerously
underweight individual that I am, I decide to partake in the
Hobbiton tradition of second breakfast. She whose bosoms
defy gravity, insisted on watching my things for me, whilst she
completed the rather lengthy registration process. Asking her
when she and I were gonna hang out, so I could buy her dinner, to
show my appreciation for all she had done for me, and the long
history we two now shared, I was informed that she had a
boyfriend. Remembering my Dark Angel back home, and certain to
received another jab in the ribs for making such an offer in the
first place, I mused that her boyfriend was welcomed to pay for
dessert. There was laughter throughout the Shire.

Things I have learned my second visit thus far:

1. A cigarette lighter can sneak past metal detectors if kept IN
the pack of smokes, on ones person.

2. Que Como is not a Latina musician.

3. A white sign with the black numbers five and zero on Cicero
Ave does not mean MPH, it means State Route.

4. Bald men do not like it when a "misguided" pickle
chip lands on there head, and sticks.

5. Being asked if you like white or dark whilst at Popeye's
Chicken is not in reference to the maidens one prefers.

6. No one in Mickie D's on Cicero Ave. speaks Eeengleesh.

But alas, I am certain that the Chinamen's curse shall wear off
quite promptly, and life will resume to normal, and boring once
again. BAHHAHAHAHAHH