Lorelei just stopped crying. I put her in the crib to cry it out for the first time in desperation. It took 30 minutes for her to stop crying. I went in and checked on her about 4 times. I am exhausted and at the end of my rope trying to get her to sleep every night and she wakes up constantly. She also tosses and turns and tries to play and test out all her cool new moves while she is in bed. Nursing her only occasionally works. I rock her, I sing to her, I bounce her...

Tonight I tried for 51 minutes to get her to go to sleep only to come close repeatedly and have to start over again. Last night she woke me up at 2 am and wouldn't settle.

She has a terrible time trying to fall asleep at the CDC for naps too and I think it drives everyone there nuts. I know she's not well rested.

I think I will have to stick to my guns with this so that we can both be better off in the end. She needs to learn how to fall asleep. I also think if this is a success, it will help me wean her by 12 months and her dad will be much happier to have me all to himself in bed again. He's mentioned it already... several times.

So, Lorelei our little insomniac that has been co sleeping for 9 months is going to learn to fall asleep in the crib. I will let you know how it goes. I know it's going to be hard.

Has anyone else who has done this had success? How long did it take? I hate hearing her cry.

Okay so I just went to check on her and put her Sleep Sheep in the room with her. She fell asleep on her stomach with a leg tucked under her. She is sweaty but otherwise okay. I didn't think she would ever fall asleep.

I'm not knocking any of you for co-sleeping. I did it for 9 months and it's just killing us both.

I know this might sound stupid but when you are transitioning from cosleeping to crib what do you do when they wake up at night? Do you bring them to bed afterwards or put them back in their crib again when you are first starting out? How do you know if they are hungry or just trying to nurse for comfort? I think what I have read about them developing a habit of nursing themselves back to sleep and constant night waking is what happened to Lorelei. I am pretty sure she's not ready to sleep through the night yet and still needs to eat once or twice though. I made sure she was well fed before putting her to bed. She has dinner at 5:30 and then breastfeeds before bed around 6:30-7:00 till she's satisfied.

If your goal is to stop cosleeping, I'd bite the bullet and try to soothe her and put her back in the crib. With my first, I always nursed him to sleep or rocked him to sleep if he didn'f want to eat and put him down. My second is sleeping a lot like Lorelai, and I have been avoiding the issue because the crib will go in his brother's room and the transition is going to suuuuuck.Good luck, sleep stuff is so hard!

This is what babies do and need. They want the comfort of someone around them at night. Maybe your babe is hungry for more than breastmilk, and could fill up on something else before a night nurse? (oats or quinoa with coconut or hemp milk?) In most countries babies sleep with their parents for about 2 years. I was speaking to a father (from India) who said that this is done for comfort, happiness etc. Would you be doing this for your husband or for your child's interest? You can also put a mattress on the floor beside your bed. That way your child knows you'll be close. My 2 eldest still wake up at night sometimes and want to sleep with me (3 and 4 year old)..

*sorry, i don't sound very comforting!! what i mean to say is that it will soon pass.. But this is a baby that was for 9-10 mos inside of you.. They just want to be comforted. I wish I had done things differently with my firstborn (like not wean her at 9 mos just because i was pregnant)*

You can do it and it may not take that long. Sometimes our little ones don't really "need" anything. They just like being next to us and enjoy the comfort of nursing but would actually sleep better being physically away from us (because they don't smell the all night buffet).

Some things to try would be to use some type of white noise. My LO will sleep for hours in her rock-in-play but only if there is noise in the background. If the house is quiet then she wakes up. You could also try putting her down to sleep in her crib when she is sleepy, but not all the way asleep. Maybe do some type of routine, like a bath, a story and a song, and then put her into the bed when she's drowsy. If she wakes up, come and pat her and then leave the room when she seems calm. I am totally not a cry it out person, and this has worked with me for my other two kids.

_________________Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Buddha

dragonssister, you know our little girls were born at about the same time so, big coincidence, they're going through similar things right now! Alba is such a different sleeper than her brother - he wanted full body contact, bouncing, nursing - she's like, let me do my thing. We transitioned her to her crib in their shared room at 6 months. She nurses before bed and sometimes before naps, but I always put her down awake and she hugs her tiger and goes to sleep. In the night - on a normal night - she wakes twice and I again nurse her and put her down awake. Toward the morning (5 ish) if she's trying to wake up with the roosters I bring her into bed with me so we might possibly get another hour of sleep and not wake her brother.

We've really never had to cry it out because I've been letting her practice going to sleep on her own since she was about four months old - it's what she knows and what she's comfortable with - nurse, rock, snuggle, lights out, check things out if she's not settling down. I talked to her pediatrician because I thought that once they could really put themselves to sleep, the night wakings would end, and she felt that (like you were guessing with Lorelei) she's actually hungry and I should continue to nurse her at those times, but try to move more of her calories to the daytime so the wakings will hopefully start to phase out.

I do think the new skills (flipping, crawling, sitting, pulling up) are so exciting and make sleep hard right now. Last night she was up from 2-5, rolling around, sitting up and then throwing herself onto me with a big grin...I'd brought her to bed in desperation but boy did that backfire! :) She's so darling that it softens the blow of being awake a little. Sounds like you guys are doing fine and I bet some of this stuff will mellow out soon. Like mamatafari said, it passes faster than you think, but boy is it hard when you're in it. If it makes you feel any better, I did absolutely nothing to sleep train my son, and now at three he goes to sleep on his own and makes not a peep until the morning. Things totally sucked with me and my husband, since he was on the couch for 99% of that time, but that's another story...

If Carlos falls asleep in my arms while nursing and delatches, I have to put my boob away and move him away from my breast. Otherwise the second he wakes up, even for a little, he is like, "oh, boob! I know what to do with THAT!"

This is what babies do and need. They want the comfort of someone around them at night. Maybe your babe is hungry for more than breastmilk, and could fill up on something else before a night nurse? (oats or quinoa with coconut or hemp milk?) In most countries babies sleep with their parents for about 2 years. I was speaking to a father (from India) who said that this is done for comfort, happiness etc. Would you be doing this for your husband or for your child's interest? You can also put a mattress on the floor beside your bed. That way your child knows you'll be close. My 2 eldest still wake up at night sometimes and want to sleep with me (3 and 4 year old)..

*sorry, i don't sound very comforting!! what i mean to say is that it will soon pass.. But this is a baby that was for 9-10 mos inside of you.. They just want to be comforted. I wish I had done things differently with my firstborn (like not wean her at 9 mos just because i was pregnant)*

It's for everyone's best interest. I actually find it convenient to have her in my bed at night to nurse her and go back to sleep. I know you probably don't know the particulars of my situation and needing to wean her by her first year.

Her dad will be her primary caregiver for the next 3 years starting in November. He doesn't have a boob to pop in her mouth at night every time she wakes up. He'll be back from deployment in a little while and I want to try and sort through some of her sleep issues to make the transition less difficult for everyone involved, including Lorelei.

I hope this clarifies things a bit. I know cosleeping is normal and other countries do it, etc. Again... I've been doing it for 9 months and I don't have anything against it.

Okay so a recap of last night, after the crying stopped the first time and she fell asleep she stayed asleep until 1030 at which time I figured I could try and nurse her and see if she was hungry. She didn't eat for very long before she was asleep in my arms again so I put her back in the crib. She screamed for 15 minutes during which time I checked on her twice and she fell back to sleep. Sometimes I had to help her lay down and rub her back. Shushing usually helps her a lot.

She woke up the second time at 0130, and I did the same thing. She fell back asleep in about 15 minutes but I had to help her. She still did it on her own I just had to rub her back and check on her a couple times. It didn't seem like she really ate much. I had only 1 wet diaper all night.

Finally, she woke up at 0430 which is her normal time. She usually snags another nap before I leave for work or in the car on the way to the daycare.

All in all, I think after a couple of weeks she will see huge improvements in her sleep and not waking up constantly and using my boob as a pacifier all night.

I'm sad but also excited that trying to get her to go to sleep won't be a struggle anymore. I can deal with the crying. I look forward to her father coming home and being able to share the bed with him without her in the middle, as much as I've enjoyed having her close to me.

We weaned after just a year, and I noticed once he got used to not getting boob he slept WAY better. So things may improve even more post-weaning, when Daddy's in charge. There was still that awkward transition time, but not having to pull him out of the crib to nurse is really nice. He still usually ends up in our bed in the early hours of the morning (4ish), but we get the bed to ourselves most of the night.

_________________Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'm superstitious. Whenever I start a new movie I kill a hobo with a hammer."

Wow, ds, what a huge improvement in a day! I think you're so smart to plan ahead like you are. Cosleeping's gotta work for everyone in the family and you guys have a special situation too. Sweet dreams, little one!

Oh DS, its so good to hear that things are working out, and you're so wise to prepare her for the transition in a pretty trying set of circumstances. I cannot imagine what i'd have to do to get my partner up to speed to be the primary caregiver for 3 years.

Seriously, you are just so awesome.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Okay so a recap of last night, after the crying stopped the first time and she fell asleep she stayed asleep until 1030 at which time I figured I could try and nurse her and see if she was hungry. She didn't eat for very long before she was asleep in my arms again so I put her back in the crib. She screamed for 15 minutes during which time I checked on her twice and she fell back to sleep. Sometimes I had to help her lay down and rub her back. Shushing usually helps her a lot.

She woke up the second time at 0130, and I did the same thing. She fell back asleep in about 15 minutes but I had to help her. She still did it on her own I just had to rub her back and check on her a couple times. It didn't seem like she really ate much. I had only 1 wet diaper all night.

Finally, she woke up at 0430 which is her normal time. She usually snags another nap before I leave for work or in the car on the way to the daycare.

All in all, I think after a couple of weeks she will see huge improvements in her sleep and not waking up constantly and using my boob as a pacifier all night.

I'm sad but also excited that trying to get her to go to sleep won't be a struggle anymore. I can deal with the crying. I look forward to her father coming home and being able to share the bed with him without her in the middle, as much as I've enjoyed having her close to me.

It sounds like you're doing really, really well. I am at this exact stage with my 18 month old, and it sounds like Lorelei is learning faster than Walter!

I would just add, try not to worry so much about making everything convenient and seamless for your partner; do the best you can do without making yourself miserable, but no matter what, they will have to learn to get along together in their own way.

I would just add, try not to worry so much about making everything convenient and seamless for your partner; do the best you can do without making yourself miserable, but no matter what, they will have to learn to get along together in their own way.

This is great advice.

_________________Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'm superstitious. Whenever I start a new movie I kill a hobo with a hammer."

So, a little off topic, but I banged to run something by you guys and see if you think it will help in my situation. I was thinking that I might start sleeping in the guest room and Nate and Grey can sleep together until Grey starts sleeping longer, this way he is with someone else and isn't waking up to eat 40 times a night. I am hoping if he can't smell me that he will sleep longer. Do you think this will work? I am fine with cosleeping, and I actually love it, but none of us are sleeping very well right now so something needs to change.

Thank you everyone for your comments and advice. We will be moving later this year and some big changes will be happening. We decided it is for the best financially for me to stay in the Navy even though that means my next duty station will be a ship. DragonDaddy already had orders to Whidbey Island, WA so I had very few options as far as what orders to choose. It was either the USS Shoup (DDG) or the USS Nimitz (CVN). I didn't want to go on a carrier, so that simplified things.

The base I will be on is an hour and a half from the base he will be on, so we are trying to figure out how we are going to manage. It probably means getting two cars and renting a house somewhere in the middle. Getting a daycare on his base so it's easier for him and starting to wean Lorelei and getting her sleeping in the crib.

I worry a lot and think about how he will manage while I am gone on deployments and duty days. What will he be cooking, etc. He never really got the hang of vegan cooking at home. We talk about it though. Yesterday I asked him what he would do for her if I missed her birthday. He will be under a lot less stress on shore duty so hopefully he can juggle everything without any problems. I still stress about it though.

It's for everyone's best interest. I actually find it convenient to have her in my bed at night to nurse her and go back to sleep. I know you probably don't know the particulars of my situation and needing to wean her by her first year.

Her dad will be her primary caregiver for the next 3 years starting in November. He doesn't have a boob to pop in her mouth at night every time she wakes up. He'll be back from deployment in a little while and I want to try and sort through some of her sleep issues to make the transition less difficult for everyone involved, including Lorelei.

I hope this clarifies things a bit. I know cosleeping is normal and other countries do it, etc. Again... I've been doing it for 9 months and I don't have anything against it.[/quote]

Thanks for sharing. This must feel extremely hard and maybe daunting. Hugs to you. Lots of back rubs without the smell of boob milk might be the trick?

DS, i think I've posted this before, but when my daughter was 12 months I lost it one might because every damn time I'd put her down (asleep) in her crib, she'd start screaming. I finally had to walk away fort own sanity. She screamed for about 10 minutes and fell asleep. Within a week or so, she was sleeping on her own, in her crib, without night wakings or crying at night. It was a very smooth transition for us (I know we were probably just lucky), and she's been a phenomenal sleeper ever since. I guess my point is that your approach sounds like what worked for us, and it's especially exciting that nights seem to be getting easier. They don't cry forever!

_________________It's not like I'm busting out my boobie tassles and shouting, "BEHOLD! THE MIRACLE OF LIFE!" - TheCrabbyCrafter

It's really exhausting. I was so amazed last night that she fell asleep. You really have to stick to it if you commit to one method and see if it works before giving up. I am going to keep going with this method. Her wake up times have been pretty consistant for months. Yet she has frequent stirrings in between where she has been tossing and turning back and forth and I think it may because the milk bar is open all night right next to her. She did a little tossing and turning in the crib last night but she was able to settle herself. I will let you all know how everything goes tonight and the next couple weeks.

I am interested to see how everything goes this weekend after we have established this as the nightime routine, when I need to put her down for a daytime nap.

So, a little off topic, but I banged to run something by you guys and see if you think it will help in my situation. I was thinking that I might start sleeping in the guest room and Nate and Grey can sleep together until Grey starts sleeping longer, this way he is with someone else and isn't waking up to eat 40 times a night. I am hoping if he can't smell me that he will sleep longer. Do you think this will work? I am fine with cosleeping, and I actually love it, but none of us are sleeping very well right now so something needs to change.

This is about what we did when we decided to night wean our son when he was around 14 months. We tried the Jay Gordon method:

but in the end, I had to be out of the room for a chunk of time at night. I decided I wasn't available for nursing between 12-5. I won't lie, it was pretty awful for a few nights there. But my husband and I were at the point where we felt like if we lost one more minute of sleep we would die. Divorce, then die. After three days things were a lot smoother, and after a week that was pretty much it. I got to come back to bed and we kept cosleeping until he was two. He fully weaned from nursing around 17 months, so it was definitely the start of a slow wind-down.

Your son sounds so much like mine was and I know it can be soooo hard. I remember posting here when he was eight months old that I wanted to wean because he was biting me constantly and nursing all night long. Anyway, I sympathize and hope you'll check in for support if you go ahead with your plan. One thing that helped me was to remember that crying in the loving arms of a parent is not the same as crying alone - your partner will be there to support him when he has his feelings about this change. It's ok for him to have the feelings, and it's ok for you to get some rest too.

Ugh, I hate the daycare here! I picked her up early today because a typhoon is coming and I got there at 1pm. There is only one teacher there who makes sure Lorelei's basic needs are met and she wasn't there today. So, this other lady who I can't stand told me "Oh... ugh Lorelei hasn't had a nap today. She started crying when I tried so I figured she would be happier if I just let her stay awake." I was so pissed off. So Lorelei was awake for 9 hours straight. As I left she said "Maybe you can get her to take a nap when you get home." Thanks!

So Lorelei then proceeded to fall asleep in an epic record of about 10 seconds after I put her in the car seat. But the rest of our day was ruined.

Poor little Lorelei. No one understands her there or what to do with her. It aggravates me to no end.

So anyway, our bedtime routine was all messed up she didn't get her dinner, she cried through bath time, and I gave her a night time feeding and laid her in her crib to go to sleep. This was after a couple of screaming episodes where I tried to put her in her crib to take a late nap... that didn't work. So bedtime it is. At 6 pm. :(

So, a little off topic, but I banged to run something by you guys and see if you think it will help in my situation. I was thinking that I might start sleeping in the guest room and Nate and Grey can sleep together until Grey starts sleeping longer, this way he is with someone else and isn't waking up to eat 40 times a night. I am hoping if he can't smell me that he will sleep longer. Do you think this will work? I am fine with cosleeping, and I actually love it, but none of us are sleeping very well right now so something needs to change.

This is about what we did when we decided to night wean our son when he was around 14 months. We tried the Jay Gordon method:

but in the end, I had to be out of the room for a chunk of time at night. I decided I wasn't available for nursing between 12-5. I won't lie, it was pretty awful for a few nights there. But my husband and I were at the point where we felt like if we lost one more minute of sleep we would die. Divorce, then die. After three days things were a lot smoother, and after a week that was pretty much it. I got to come back to bed and we kept cosleeping until he was two. He fully weaned from nursing around 17 months, so it was definitely the start of a slow wind-down.

Your son sounds so much like mine was and I know it can be soooo hard. I remember posting here when he was eight months old that I wanted to wean because he was biting me constantly and nursing all night long. Anyway, I sympathize and hope you'll check in for support if you go ahead with your plan. One thing that helped me was to remember that crying in the loving arms of a parent is not the same as crying alone - your partner will be there to support him when he has his feelings about this change. It's ok for him to have the feelings, and it's ok for you to get some rest too.

Thank you for that article! I sent it to my husband. We leave for vacation in a week and then I go to see my family after that, so maybe we need to do this once I get back and things are normal again, plus he will then be 13 months. Yesterday we saw the doctor, we have been dealing with ear infections. The infection is gone but the fluid is still there, so if it doesn't drain he could get another infection. She mentioned that since he has had infections for so long now that he could be used to this night pattern of waking so often and nursing and being in pain. I really, really, really need like 4 hours of sleep in a row.

Last night Lorelei seemed to naturally shift her waking times 1 hour due to her going to sleep at 6. She didn't cry or fight much after the first night waking, but, at 2 am she was a little more assertive. She cried for about 20 minutes and then went to sleep.

Checking in on her and "soothing" her doesn't seem to help when she is crying. It just seems to peas her off more and make her cry harder when she sees me leaving again.

Fell asleep at 1830 after 20 minutes of crying.Woke up at 1030, I fed her and put her back in her crib without much of a fuss. Rubbed her back for a bit and left the room. I never thought this would be possible 3 days ago.

Woke up at 0230, she cried a couple minutes but it died down really quickly and she went to sleep.

All in all, it seems like the time in between waking was longer last night and she didn't cry as much.

I miss cuddling with her. It's so lonely in my bed all alone. This was bad timing but I have got to spread out as much as I want for the first time in a long time.