In case you can’t tell, I love the music by the Hawkins family. One of my favorites is, “Never Alone.” So, my mom and dad were out of town on vacation last week, and I always have a little separation anxiety when they leave town, but it’s getting better. (Yes, I know I am 35 and yes, I know that’s not normal). Anyway, the song, “Never Alone,” has been on my heart today. I think that God is reminding me that even though, my parents go out of town, and they may not answer the phone when I call, He is always there. The song says, “Never alone, I don’t have to worry ‘cause I’m never alone. He walks beside me all the way. He guides my footsteps every day.”

That statement is so reassuring, and it’s in the Bible as well. He says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” God is with me in every moment of joy, sorrow, victory, defeat, happiness, hopelessness. No matter who in my life is unavailable, God is right by me. I don’t have to feel alone or insecure because He is there. I can’t see Him, but I know He’s there. And, on some occasions, when I am really down, I have asked Him to help me feel His Presence, and within mere moments, I either literally feel as though I am being embraced or I feel a peace that passes all understanding. It doesn’t make you crazy to talk to God when you have no one else to talk to; it is crazy to try to talk to everyone else before you talk to Him. If it makes you feel nuts to talk to Him out loud, write it down. Ask Him to hug you, to hold you, to help you know He is there. He will answer.

Being single is not easy if it is not what you would choose for your life at the time. Lately, people have been mentioning things that lead me to believe I am making it look easy to be single and childless in your thirties. Praise God that it appears that way; it is still a daily battle, but I finally feel like I am beyond my hissy-fit stage of singleness in which I constantly whine about it. I have moved on to acceptance of God’s plan because God is still faithful in the hard aspects of life. He knows what’s best for my life. What makes it easy to get to this place of security is that I know I might get lonely, but I am never alone. So, I am choosing to trust Him. Never again will I be insecure anymore…Never again.He walks beside me all the way. He guides my footsteps every day. Ms. EV

So, it’s not a secret that I love music. And, Stephanie Mills’ song, “Never Knew Love Like This Before,” is currently stuck in my head. No, you did not miss the newsflash; the kid is still single. Nevertheless, I am celebrating the love that I sometimes take for granted; the love of Jesus Christ. You see, sometimes, I get caught up in the world and what it has to offer. Sometimes, I look around and feel sorry for myself because I don’t have the kind of relationship that I desire. Sometimes, I feel sad because I think I have never truly experienced what it means to be in love. But then, I am reminded that, although I am single, and my earthly relationships have not been successful, I do know what it feels like to fall in love. There is something so awesome about falling in love with Jesus. When I think about what my life would be like without Him, I cannot help but love Him more. When I think of all the times He has forgiven me, I cannot help but fall deeper in love with Him. When I think about how He has never given up on me, even though others did, I cannot help but feel a sense of joy and peace from the inside; the likes of which no man can give. This kind of love, peace and joy can only come from Jesus. One more piece of amazing news is that you can fall in love with Him over and over and over again because, everyday, He gives us more and more reasons to love Him. He gave His life, so that we could live despite our faults, flaws and failures. He still believes in us. Even the best love this world has to offer is no match for that kind of love. You can search your whole life for the perfect wife or perfect husband or You can open up your heart to Jesus and let Him supply all you will ever need. I choose Jesus…’cause I never knew love like this before!!! Ms. EV

I was on my way to church, and as I drove I noticed a work van in front of me. On the back of the van, it said, “HUSBAND FOR RENT.” My first line of thought was about how that might be nice. Like, if I had a social function to attend, and I could just call someone up and rent him for the night to help avoid all of the awkward “Why are you still single?” stares. My rented husband would have a very detailed background story on how we met, how he swept me off my feet, how he proposed, etc. You know, all of that stuff that people think is their business. He would make every woman in the place jealous of me because he would be the perfect guy. If figure if I rented him, I must have picked out the perfect one, you know. I didn’t really work out how I would explain his sudden disappearance or why he was never at the house. Or, if I would have to just keep renting him until I really got into a relationship, which could also be very messy. As a matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the whole rent-a-husband thing was a little scandalous, dare I say, escort-ish! When I got closer to the van, I saw the Husband-For-Rent’s tagline, “If he won’t do it, I will!” I quickly realized that this service was for women who already had a husband or a man in their lives (I find that a little discriminatory, by the way). This service is for the women with a honey-do list that is too long for their honey to do. Well, what about me, Harpo?!?! I have a light bulb or two that need changing, a car that needs to be detailed and maintained, trash that needs to be taken to the compactor. I even thought about calling this so-called Husband For Rent and giving him a piece of mind about how he was discriminating against single ladies like me with that tagline. And, furthermore, who are these girlfriends and housewives who would dare bring another man into their home to outshine their current man; just ungrateful, I tell you! As you can tell, I can be a little overdramatic. I realized that I was ungrateful. I had to stop and thank God that I am able to do things like fix my garbage disposal when needed. I also had to thank him that when there is a chore that I cannot manage, I had never had to worry because my family has been there to help. Plus, I had to thank God that I have grown confident enough and content enough in my singleness that I don’t really care about awkward stares and questions in social settings. I don’t need to lie and front about my situation. I am single, I am blessed, and that is it. So, I guess I don’t need the services of a Husband for Rent. I would sure love a maid, though, but that’s a story for another day. Be blessed, Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one day from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take our final look at some a new definition of SINGLE:

Supplicating IN God’s Listening Ears – Philippians 4:6-7So, how does God know what I want and need? He is listening. God hears my prayers, both spoken and unspoken. He reads my heart. I have been in and around human relationships my whole life and there is no one who knows your every desire like God does. A relationship is meaningless without communication, and unlike with another human being, I know God listens to every word, every whisper and every thought. I know this because he has given me peace just like His Word said He would.

At eighteen years old, loneliness nearly killed me. I literally considered ending my life because I could not deal with how lonely I felt. But, in His own way and in a recognizable voice, God reassured me that He would NEVER leave me and that He was ALWAYS with me. Now, I know I am never alone. I am able to embrace my singleness and trust God with my life rather than try to work things out on my own. And, I thank God for that. It comes from taking all my cares, anxieties, and burdens to Him, praising Him and thanking Him for what He has planned for me.

As the hymn says, "Oh, what peace we often forfeit! Oh, what needless pains we bear! All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." Use this time of singleness to commune with God. Adore Him for who He is. Confess who you are not. Thank Him for what He has done in your life. Supplicate to Him your every need and desire. Then, have faith that He hears you and He knows.

I pray that this series on Redefining Single makes tomorrow a bit easier for you. Just remember that those who REALLY love you, love you every single day and show it every single day and don't need a special holiday to prove how much they care. Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:

Supported IN God’s Lifting Encouragement – Jeremiah 29:11At this point, I probably sound like I am all gumdrops and candy canes with a sickeningly sweet disposition all the time. This is just not the case. In fact, most people who know me would cackle at that very idea. I am a real person, not a God-robot. I have good days and bad days. I have ups and downs. Just because I can be content with being single does not mean that it does not bother me at times. I do not like being the odd-numbered wheel when I’m out with friends, but I have friends. I do not enjoy taking out the trash or maintaining my own car, but I can. And, when those things bother me, I am encouraged to know that God has a plan for my life. He does not want me to fail. I am a vessel for God’s glory, so my failure would not be a good testimony. God’s plans are not my plans. They are better plans; in fact, they are the best plans for my life. When I reflect upon that thought, I am lifted and encouraged, knowing that I am supported by God.Satisfied IN Giving the Lord my Energy – Psalm 37:4God is a jealous God. I have read the entire Bible and one of the things that shouts out loud and clear is that God wants to be my focus. He wants my heart, my mind, my soul and my time. At first glance, that might sound overly-possessive, but I am His creation. The earth and everything in it belongs to Him, so He should be my first priority in life. That does not mean that I cannot love another person, or my family, my job or my church, but I cannot put any of those things before my God. I need to be satisfied with Him alone. Once, I am satisfied with Him, everything that He adds to my life is just icing on the cake. Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days. Today's definition is specifically geared towards divorcees, but if you have never been married, you can pretty much plug in any action that you have taken that still haunts you.

Sanctified IN my Gracious Lord’s Evaluation – 1 John 1:9God is faithful to forgive me and purify me. When I confess my sins to God and ask for His forgiveness, I am clean is His sight. He wipes the slate clean. That is difficult to understand because of the grudges that people continue to hold against each other. It is even more complex when I think of how hard it is for me to exonerate myself. One of the worst decisions that I ever made was to get married, and I have carried the guilt of divorce with me for nearly ten years. So, for my sake and all of the other Christian divorcees, I needed to see what God says about divorce, so that I could finally put my guilt and shame, which is no way brought on by God, to rest. Last Thursday, in Part 1, I talked about the Old Testament's view of divorce. Today, I will look at the New Testament and give my thoughts on what all of this means.

The New Testament is a little more hopeful than the Old Testament…emphasis on “little”Matthew 5:31-32 – "Remember the Scripture that says, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him do it legally, giving her divorce papers and her legal rights'? Too many of you are using that as a cover for selfishness and whim, pretending to be righteous just because you are 'legal.' Please, no more pretending. If you divorce your wife, you're responsible for making her an adulteress (unless she has already made herself that by sexual promiscuity). And if you marry such a divorced adulteress, you're automatically an adulterer yourself. You can't use legal cover to mask a moral failure…” Bad news: Before Jesus died, I was considered an adulteress.Matthew 19: 4-9 – He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart." They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?" Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery." Good news: Though divorce was not in the original plan, God made an exception is cases of adultery.What does all of this mean? Does God really forgive me? If I believe the Bible, and I do, God absolutely forgives me. God is not fickle as we humans can be. God does not want us to wallow in guilt. He wants us to learn from our mistakes, and follow His path. He shows this throughout the Bible.Psalm 103:6-18 (The Message) says, "God makes everything come out right; He puts victims back on their feet. He showed Moses how he went about his work, opened up his plans to all Israel. God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he's rich in love. He doesn't endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we're made of mud. Men and women don't live very long; like wildflowers they spring up and blossom, but a storm snuffs them out just as quickly, leaving nothing to show they were here. God's love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him, making everything right for them and their children as they follow His Covenant ways and remember to do whatever He said."1 John 1:8-10 (The Message) says, "If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we've never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God."The Woman at the Well (John 4:7-26) is one of the greatest examples for women of how God just wants our hearts. This woman would be known as the town whore in most settings, but Jesus didn’t ignore her. She tried to hide her transgressions from Him, but He did not throw her lies in her face and walk away. Jesus took the time to help this woman understand who He is and to show her the true meaning of worship. He forgave her sins and used her to spread the gospel. So, if God can forgive and use a woman who had five husbands and a live-in boyfriend and use her in His ministry, then He is faithful to forgive me for getting divorced and for any other sin that I confess to Him. When God examines me, He sees me through the blood that Jesus shed on the cross, and I am sanctified in Him.So, is my singleness my punishment for getting divorced? Well, Psalm 103:10 says, He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. When we commit sins, God looks for opportunities to teach us to do better. He does not seek out revenge or retribution; that is a human trait. I now believe my singleness to be yet another blessing from God despite my past sins. At this moment it is not my heart’s desire to be single forever, but I am able to see things more clearly as a contented singleton than I was when I was chasing the ever-elusive perfect relationship. For one thing, I know that the only perfect relationship is the one that I have with Christ. Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days. Today's definition is specifically geared towards divorcees, but if you have never been married, you can pretty much plug in any action that you have taken that still haunts you.

Sanctified IN my Gracious Lord’s Evaluation – 1 John 1:9God is faithful to forgive me and purify me. When I confess my sins to God and ask for His forgiveness, I am clean is His sight. He wipes the slate clean. That is difficult to understand because of the grudges that people continue to hold against each other. It is even more complex when I think of how hard it is for me to exonerate myself. One of the worst decisions that I ever made was to get married, and I have carried the guilt of divorce with me for nearly ten years. So, for my sake and all of the other Christian divorcees, I needed to see what God says about divorce, so that I could finally put my guilt and shame, which is no way brought on by God, to rest.What does the Bible say about divorce? Well, in the Old Testament, it does not look promising for a divorced woman.

Leviticus 21:10-15 – The high priest shall not marry a divorced woman. Bad news: I can’t marry a High Priest.

Leviticus 22:13 - But if the priest's daughter be a widow, or divorced, and have no child, and is returned unto her father's house, as in her youth, she shall eat of her father's meat: but there shall be no stranger eat thereof. Good news: I can live with my parents.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - If a man marries a woman and then it happens that he no longer likes her because he has found something wrong with her, he may give her divorce papers, put them in her hand, and send her off. After she leaves, if she becomes another man's wife and he also comes to hate her and this second husband also gives her divorce papers, puts them in her hand, and sends her off, or if he should die, then the first husband who divorced her can't marry her again. She has made herself ritually unclean, and her remarriage would be an abomination in the Presence of God and defile the land with sin, this land that God, your God, is giving you as an inheritance. Bad news: If I get divorced again, I become a disgrace, so I better be careful next time.

The New Testament is a little more hopeful…emphasis on “little”

Matthew 5:31-32 – "Remember the Scripture that says, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him do it legally, giving her divorce papers and her legal rights'? Too many of you are using that as a cover for selfishness and whim, pretending to be righteous just because you are 'legal.' Please, no more pretending. If you divorce your wife, you're responsible for making her an adulteress (unless she has already made herself that by sexual promiscuity). And if you marry such a divorced adulteress, you're automatically an adulterer yourself. You can't use legal cover to mask a moral failure…” Bad news: Before Jesus died, I was considered an adulteress.

Matthew 19: 4-9 – He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart." They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?" Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery." Good news: Though divorce was not in the original plan, God made an exception is cases of adultery.

What does all of this mean? Does God really forgive me? If I believe the Bible, and I do, God absolutely forgives me. God is not fickle as we humans can be. God does not want us to wallow in guilt. He wants us to learn from our mistakes, and follow His path. He shows this throughout the Bible.

On Monday, I will post the second part of this blog for divorcees...Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:

Situated IN God’s Learning Experience – Matthew 11:28-30We often learn lessons and then just want to take off and run with the lessons, which is what I did after Pray While You’re Prey. But not long after, I felt empty again. I submit that I was so focused on fixing other people that I didn’t take the time to find rest for my soul. I was just looking to make some sort of restitution for my past sins, so that God could bless me with the love of my life. Instead, I should have taken the time to rest in Him and be sure that I was ready for a new relationship. Now, I am relearning some of the same lessons, but this time my focus isn’t on finding a new man; it is on sustaining my relationship with Christ and trusting in God’s plan for me. He has me in this place for a reason, which leads to the next definition.Standing still IN Great and Limitless Expectation – Psalm 46:10One of the hardest things for any human being to do is waiting. Now, if you magnify how hard it is for normal people by about one million, you get how hard it is for me. “Be still and know that I am God…” Sometimes, I read that and think, Has God met me? I mean, He created me, so He knows how hard it is for me to sit still and not try to make things happen. But, here’s the cool thing about God, He gives me the chance to let Him handle it and then, He puts in a situation where I have no choice, but to let Him handle it. I don’t mean that He takes away my free will, but God has a way of making it abundantly clear that if I want things to work out in the best way possible that I have to let Him do His job. And, I have come to learn --usually the hard way --that God always exceeds my expectations when I stop limiting Him to what I want and submit to His will for my life. Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:

Sensational IN God’s Loving Eyes – Psalm 139:14 I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” No one can deny the beauty that created within me when He made me His own. As a single woman, I must be confident that God does not make mistakes and does not make junk. I am His child, His heir, and, as such, I am gifted with His amazing grace and undeserved mercies. I must also never let anyone make me feel that I am a social outcast or that I am unlovable because if the great I AM can love me with everything He knows about me, then I deserve respect from anyone who did not create the heavens and the earth.Sharing IN my Gifts for the Lord’s Exaltation – I Corinthians 12 God has gifted me with different talents and being single allows me to share those gifts with others for His glory. God has given me the ability to teach, and I not only teach as a profession, but in my church. My singleness allows me the time to truly share in the lives of my students and support them in their efforts. God has also given me the abilities to write and sing. With my writing, I have been able to encourage young women, who are facing issues with which I have already tangled. I am also able to give young men insight into issues that Christian women face. For both audiences, the main lesson is that God cares for you and that no matter what you face in relationships, if God is in the forefront, you will be victorious and He will receive the glory. The gift of music has been one that has truly connected me to God. Each time I sing a worship song, it is a personal serenade from me to God. The beautiful thing is to see others uplifted by the moments when I am pouring out my heart to God in song. Ms. EV

In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:

Sustained IN God’s Liberating Embrace –Liberated from Control – Have you ever tried to control every situation and person in your life? I have. And, I did it with the best of intentions because outside of God’s way, I consider my way of handling life to be the next best thing. Honestly, if more people would listen to my advice and more situations would work out my way, the world would be a better place. I only want what is best for everyone (especially me), but alas, being right all the time can be exhausting. Even worse, realizing that no matter how right you are (or think you are) that people are going to do what they feel like doing can be heartbreaking. So, I have decided to leave the whole “control” thing up to the Expert. Ecclesiastes 7:13-14 says, “Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.” It’s not that I’m going to walk around like some mindless zombie everyday and just let life happen to me, but I am going to do my best to live everyday in God’s will. I am going to let Him handle all of the people and circumstances of my life. I am surrendering. I am throwing in the towel. God has shown me that if I give every area of my life to Him, He will take care of me. Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Everything that I need is provided to me by God. Yes, I go to work, but God provided me with that job and with the common sense to budget my money well. But God also provides me with the intangibles like peace and joy, even in times when it seems I should have none. I have learned, often the hard way, to give up control, because those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength, soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, and walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31. The Bible promises me that. And, my lack of control is liberating. I no longer feel like a victim if I face a setback. Instead, I know that God is setting me up for a comeback. I longer have to feel crushed when others people do not follow my instructions because it’s not me they are sinning against, it is God. What does any of this have to do with being single? Well, for me, God has shown me how liberating giving up control can be because I have tried to manipulate every man that I have ever been involved with and every relationship I have ever had to make things go my way. I am writing a book on being single forever, so you can see how well that has worked out for me. Giving up control to God while single or in a relationship is freeing. He says, Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. So, if I am following God’s will, then I know that I am in the situation that is best for me at this point in my life. It probably will not work out the way I would have worked it out, but thank God for that.Liberated by Communication and Correction – Why aren’t we all robots? We could be robots and God could have his master controller to make us do whatever He wants us to do. If we would just follow His instruction, there would be no sickness, no pain, no murder, no divorce, no abuse, no war, and the list goes on and on. It would be a perfect world. I personally desire this sometimes. Rather than watch me make mistakes, I wish God would just not allow me to venture outside of His will. That is not how God works though. God is a loving Father, not a maniacal overlord. For those of us who are His children, He communicates His will, not His suggestion, but His will, a.k.a. the right way to live our lives. Then, when we make a mistake, He allows us to experience the consequences, but He does not cut us off. He still embraces us and if we repent, He forgives us every time. So why does it sometimes feel like I am hemmed up by all of my past mistakes? Aren’t my mistakes in relationships and dating the reason I am single now? I honestly do not know why I am single, but I do know that God loves me and would not use my singleness to remind me of every mistake I have ever made. He does not have to do that because I am so adept at beating myself up and placing myself in emotional bondage. Forgiveness of sin is not a license to continue to sin, but the Bible says, “… where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” 2 Corinthians 3:17. So, as a saved woman, I know that the Spirit dwells within me and He brings liberty and freedom into my life. God gives us the Holy Spirit to illuminate His Word and show us the right path, but He also gives us the freedom to choose to take that path. It feels much better to know that I chose to take the correct path, rather than being forced to take the correct path, but there is also liberty if I choose the wrong path. The shed blood of Jesus guarantees me freedom from sin; it does not mean I will not sin, but that once my sin is forgiven, I am not in bondage to sin. The bondage, the guilt, and the shame are of my own doing. However, God’s loving communication through the Holy Spirit corrects me and gives me the liberty and the freedom to make the right choices in similar situation and learn from past mistakes.Liberated in my Current Circumstance – Why are you still single? When are you getting married? Don’t you think you should start a family soon? I am often in awe of what some people assume is there business. My single status, for example, seems to fascinate and intrigue people. “Don’t you want to get married,” they say. I have come up with several clever retorts to these statements.

Of course, I want to get married, but the state psychiatric hospital won’t clear me for that level of human interaction.

I can’t seem to meet someone because they only let me out of the watchtower for work and church.

Every time I meet someone, they can’t seem to get over the fact that I turn into a wildebeest after midnight.

Of course my mother does not let me use any of these replies, but I do have a standard, acceptable answer that I find to be true: “God has not sent me a husband yet.” And, it really is just that simple. I have learned, after several attempts at “independence,” that God’s way is truly the best way. I have also learned that when I trust Him with any circumstance, He works it into something beyond my wildest imagination. So, I am waiting on God. I believe that I am right where God desires for me to be right now. And, I have peace about it. Isaiah says, “You will keep in perfect peace [her] whose mind is steadfast, because [she] trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3. God is far more trustworthy than I am, so if He has not changed my circumstance it is because His will for my life in this moment is that I am single. There was a time in my life, not so long ago, that when someone asked the aforementioned questions, I would break down and cry. I felt that people were just trying to be cruel and I couldn’t understand why God, who I know loves me, would allow such inconsiderate discourse. Did people really believe that it was acceptable to pry into my personal life like this? Did people really feel that it was not rude or inconsiderate to treat me like a second-class citizen? I am a smart, attractive woman and if I wanted to marry anyone, I could, but I’ve been there and done that and I have the divorce decree to prove it. I do not just desire to be married. I desire to live the life that God wills and desires for me to have. One day, a woman said to me, “So, now that you have a cat, does that make you an old maid?” I laughed. My mom heard the comment and was braced for a full-blown breakdown, which I was entitled to, but there was no such reaction. I just laughed and left the room. I did pray that the woman would realize that her comment was not appropriate, but I knew that she meant no harm. And, just like that, I had peace about my circumstance. Now, when people ask me about my non-marital status, I do not cry or pout or leave the room. I have been set free from the chains of societal expectations. The only expectations that matter are those that God has for me. Liberated through Contentment – If I truly believe that God is who He says He is, how can I not accept where I know He has placed me? This is my life right now. This may be my life forever. A single woman with people constantly looking at me with their scrutinizing eyes trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Why wouldn’t others do that? I do it. I have spent so much of my life trying to change who I am to make a relationship work. I often called “bettering myself.” For what? Or rather, for who? I became so caught up in trying to be the person that I thought everyone else in my life wanted me to be that, at a certain point, I had no idea who I was. The only one worth changing for is God. That is the only relationship I need to concern myself with perfecting. Knowing that as I press into Him and seek to be more like Him, He will take care of my every need is liberating. I can just live my life, whatever that happens to consist of, at any given moment and trust that God will take care of me. In doing so, I bring Him glory. Complaining doesn’t bring Him glory, nor does it make me feel any better, but contentment with faith and trust that I am God’s heir and He has my best interests in mind is pleasing to Him and encouraging to others. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36. I am free. I am free from control, free by corrective communication, free in my circumstances, and free through contentment because I am Sustained IN God’s Liberating Embrace. Ms. EV