Motivations and Sexual Effort

This subject was brought to mind by a thread on CollarMe about a particular FemDom author and their teachings.

I very much strongly disagree with their premise that a male should be motivated and only willing to give service and submission by the female keeping him sexually aroused… making things tittilating for him.

That she should “seduce his submission” by such things as making sure to wear high heels instead of flats and that he should “seduce her dominance” by buying her a leather skirt and complimenting her on how she looks in it.

Turning on a male partner and using that arousal in sexy top/bottom play or acting out hot FemDom/malesub fantasy roles can be a lot of fun. I’m not running down partners embracing, incorporating, and reveling in their shared sexualities. Not at all.

I simply strongly disagree with the idea of that a female dominant should *need* or be *obligated* to make submission and service about keeping the male horny. Or to only expect him to be so when and how he thinks it’s hot.

Outside of a scene of some sort or length, I only want a male submissive who is just as submissive and just as service-oriented when it’s completely and totally NOT getting his dick hard. A man who doesn’t come from “I’ll give you a foot massage after your long day because I have a foot fetish and hope it’ll lead to a foot job or so I can masturbate to the memory later”. Rather, a man who comes from “I’ll give you a foot massage because making you comfortable and happy makes me happy” – and if they do, also, have a foot fetish and find it totally hot it’s a bonus, not the primary motivation.

I desire submission that is there just as much when I’ve dye on my hair and I’m running around with plastic wrap on my head and in my fuzzy bathrobe and crocs at home as when I’m all high-makeup, corseted, and sexy stockings at the dungeon.

Just like I want to give dominance in equal amounts in those two situations. Like I want to give dominance whether my partner is in suit and tie at a funeral or if he’s at home naked while I paddle his ass and call him my bitch.