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Saturday, February 13, 2016

I went through a season of watching the Simpsons early in
college. There was one Valentine’s Day episode where Lisa brings valentines to
school for all of the kids in her class. She gives Ralphie one with a train on
it that reads “I choo-choo-choose you!” As it turned out, the valentine from
Lisa was the only one Ralphie received and he spends the rest of the episode
doting over her, convinced they were meant to be.

It’s ridiculous and humorous, but I think there’s something
going on there.

Like maybe to make sure if you don’t like like someone to be sure you’re not the only valentine they
get. Am I right?

But seriously, one simple locomotive card made little
Ralphie believe someone picked him and it completely changed how he was living
his life. Living believing the opposite, though, can have just as powerful of
an effect. I know I get all kinds of weird when I’m not feeling chosen.

I remember working super hard in sports in
elementary and high school, so I would be among the first called when it
came to picking teams. Early in elementary school, I was tiny and clumsy, but I
worked hard and spent hours training and practicing sports. I loved the return
of being picked at the beginning for teams; having people see something
worthwhile in me that they wanted to be connected to.

In a season where I find myself single in my late 20’s [gulp], and no amount of practicing
catching dodgeballs or shooting free throws can help my chances, I battle
feelings of not being chosen. Typically, I find it fairly easy to see the
blessings singleness offers (though, I wouldn’t be opposed to experiencing the
blessings of another kind of season). But there are days, when doubts creep in
and the enemy whispers:

“You know, if everyone in the world had to choose only one person, you wouldn’t
be anyone’s first pick. You would be alone.”

Ouch.

It’s probably one of the most devastating thoughts I’ve had
in my adult life. And, for me, among the hardest things of singleness.

I think that’s what makes marriage so incredible. You are
committing to choosing this one person every single day for the rest of your
lives. In difficulty, in jerkiness, in delightfulness, in adventure, in offers
of something or someone that could be better, they are the one you pick.

But what I've come to realize is there is often a gap between our feelings and the truth. Even in marriage, as my friends have shared with me,
there are days they don’t always feel picked even when they know they are. And
the same is true for me.

If you’re like me and battle those “not chosen” feelings, we
can hang on to these two things:

You were picked long
before anyone on earth could pick you. Out of eternity, the Trinity had a
conversation about you and you were an idea so good they couldn’t shake you.
You HAD to be made. If that’s not chosen, I don’t know what is.

I believe it’s
incredibly important to let people know you pick them. We are designed for
community; being known and loved and not just out of obligation, but because
someone chooses us. However, we were made to be fully known and completely
loved. No amount of people choosing you or me can attain that. That’s a Jesus
kind of love – one that lays down his life for his friends.

And that’s enough, whether or not it feels like it some
days.

And to those who have
your person picked and they pick you back, I know there are days that being
picked by him or her doesn’t feel like enough. I hope you also feel so
picked by your community. We can’t be filled by only one person.

But could I give us all a suggestion?

Show your people you
pick them this week. Heck, pick someone you don’t normally pick this week
for awhile. But especially for your single people, take a moment to let them
know they are picked. Sometimes, on days of doubt or holidays that leave us
uncertain we have reason to celebrate, we need a little bit of an extra
reminder. A dinner invite, a cup of coffee, a text, just to let us know we’re
thought of and worthy of your time and energy.

It reminds us we’re not alone. It reminds us that even solo,
wondering what things might be keeping us that way, that we can be picked. It
gives us a glimpse of the massive choice Jesus made about us, so embarrassingly
and vulnerably choosing those who weren’t remotely interested. In any and every
season, that’s you.

You are chosen, my friend. I am, too. Let’s agree to remind
each other, okay?

A note from Shelly...

Doesn't it seem like we're always waiting for or looking forward to something? "I can't wait until..." or "when this happens, everything will be great." I've spent the last few years learning that life doesn't wait for a wedding, a career, or anything else to begin. Waiting for anything can be difficult, but God's purposes for you have already begun. Your future spouse, graduation, or the job of your dreams might be just around the corner, but there is much to see, much to do, and much to learn IN THE MEANTIME. You're rarely alone sitting in a waiting room. Welcome.