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Sunday, April 18, 2010

I just realized I'm in a much better disposition today than the last few months of my life. I totally missed out on a lot of things, and I'm glad I'm getting a grip on myself. I'm on my way to accomplishing some of my goals for this year and much more. AND I'm finally (partially) glad that he's not in my life right now, 'coz he "shoved" me to the side for his ex who eventually just broke it off with him for being an effed-up lying ass.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

They dress the wound of my people, as though it were not serious. "Peace, peace," they say, when there is no peace.

- Jeremiah 8:11

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Tenderhearted people will go to unbelievable lengths to avoid any kind of turmoil in a relationship. If there's a little tension in the marriage and one partner asks the other, "What's wrong?" the tender one will answer, "Nothing." What he or she is really saying is this: "Something's wrong, but I don't want to make a scene." In choosing peacekeeping over truth telling, these people think they are being noble, but in reality, they are making a bad choice. Whatever caused the tension will come back. The peace will get harder and harder to keep. A spirit of disappointment will start to flow through the peacekeeper's veins, leading first to anger, then to bitterness and finally to hatred. Relationships can die while everything looks peaceful on the surface!

Peace at any price is a form of deception. When you know you need to tell the truth, the evil on whispers in your ear, "Don't do it. He won't listen. She won't take it. I will only make things worse." If you believe those lies, you will probably kill your relationship sooner or later. Tell the truth!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

"When he, the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth."

- John 16:13

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Monday through Friday, business parking lots are always filled. On Saturday mornings, however, only one car is usually parked in front of each business - most likely the owner's car. Why? Because the business belongs to him. He wants to keep a close watch on the statistics, the cash flow, the deposits and the statements. He cares about it in a way his employees can never understand.

Jesus is a caring owner. We are his sheep, not someone else's, and he will walk miles to lead us to green pastures. Because he owns us and loves us, Jesus monitors every step we take. He knows every hurt we feel, every crushing disappointment we experience. We are precious to him, because he created us. He is in love with us, and he will do whatever it takes to keep us safe in his flock - he even laid down his life for our sakes. I'm grateful for a love like that.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Today is the day... when my fears and suppressed feelings caught up with me.

And I've been dodging them like a bullet... not really trying to take it in. And yet somehow... it cuts deep right through me.

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There was once a time when I could whole-heartedly tell him "I look forward to everyday... every sunrise and sunset - because I know you are there." But I can never tell you that anyway. Not now, not ever.

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So I just sit and reflect... and hope that tomorrow's a better day.

"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Josh 1:9

Wow, it's been a year since I last saw my grandma. I miss her terribly. God bless her soul in the heavens.