Cristina’s testimony Cristina 的見證

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Cristina’s testimony Cristina 的見證

Before I came to know Jesus Christ, I was so proud, used to smoke and get drunk. I took my parents advice for granted. And I always disobeyed them. I didn’t listen to anyone except to myself. I did whatever I wanted in my life; in short, I was so selfish and nothing was more important to me but myself. I did a lot of stupid stuff; that was why it took me 9 years before I graduated in college. I stole money from my dad’s bakery, got kick back from my tuition just to have a budget for my vices (luxury/ extravagant) and gimmicks (hang out with my friends). I also had premarital affair with my boyfriend. Because of being disobedient to my parents, I got pregnant at an early age and decided to live with the guy without being married for 6 years. Even though I already had my own family, I still continued with my vices (luxury/ extravagant) and gimmicks (hang out with my friends) coz my parents and my in-laws supported our family when we had financial matters. At first, money was never an issue in our family. My husband was working as a Philippine National Police Officer. I continued with my studies till I finished it in 2007.

On March 08, 2008 my husband and I decided to get married, we did it for the security of our relationship and for the sake of our little daughter coz he got involved with another woman which started on 2005. I had small bakery and softdrink dealership businesses, but unfortunately they didn’t become successful. Still I didn’t care about the lost because I was so proud; and I just told myself that those businesses I had were not meant for me, so I continued to live my wicked life. I kept on telling myself I could do it on my own, and soon everything would be fine; but, unfortunately, our relationship became worst. Every time I saw him, I saw his unfaithfulness and I always reproved it to him, and to him, I was being selfish, insensitive and greedy, so we started fighting about anything, without considering our daughter’s feelings. Till the day came that we had to let her go and stay with my In-laws to support her studies. It was so painful for us as parents to stay away from our only child. I was depressed and frustrated for not giving or providing her a good education that she deserves. My wonderful world became full of darkness but still I acted stubborn. I tried to get even with his infidelity but the feeling of emptiness was still within me. I was looking for love, respect, and acceptance still I hadn’t found it. Unnoticeably, my family got separated, my daughter lived with my In-laws, my husband got too much involved with his vices (luxury/ extravagant) such as womanizing, and I became more liberated, our car got lost because of the flood Ondoy, and my relationship with my In-laws were gradually destroyed. This was the time that I realized that all my stupidity and being self-centered took a toll on me.

In the year 2009, I decided to go to school and study professional caregiving. Since my relationship with my husband was not good and I couldn’t stand his infidelity, I left the house and went back to my parents. When I finished my caregiving course, I applied to work in Taiwan to run away from my messy and terrible marriage life. Luckily, I got hired to take care of a grandmother. My employer provided me my own room wherein I had privacy. I started praying and having conversations with God and I kept on asking him, why these things happened in my family coz it was not the kind of family I’d dreamt of. I did not get any answer for all my questions but instead God showed me that there was also something wrong with me. I prayed to God to help me to change, I asked for His forgiveness and mercy. My faith became deeper when my friend sent an offline message to my yahoo messenger stating: “Hi Tins!!! Watch this and I’m sure you’ll be blessed. www.ccf.org.ph/stream.” as soon as my work was done, I visited the link and the topic was all about love. As I watched the worship service on February 2011, it impacted my life. I realized that I was so selfish and doomed to go to hell but because of the unconditional love of our Lord Jesus Christ, He lifted me up and made me feel that only He can fill all the emptiness I had inside. I repented, humbled myself and surrendered everything to God including my marriage and let him take over. In the past, I talked to other people with arrogance but suddenly it’s changed. I’ve also learned how to love, respect, accept other people as they are, and totally give my forgiveness to my husband and his other woman. I sent a letter to him, sharing how God transformed me. Almost every day, I send him words of God thru text messages, I also share with him what I have learned by watching the worship services at church every week. God is truly amazing coz I see the changes in my marital relationship. All the unwholesome and rebuking words, by God’s grace, were all suddenly changed. Every day as I walk my Christian life, my faith with our Lord Jesus Christ becomes deeper and I even try to share the gospel with all of my friends online.

A test of faith happened, my husband passed away on july 15,2011. I was in taiwan when I heard the devastating news and, in addition to that, my In-laws didn’t want me to go and see the burial. They decided to cut their communication with me and buried my husband immediately. It was so painful to the point that I questioned GOD. Why did you allow this thing to happen? Why didn’t you give him a chance to change and know You more? I prayed to God to help me to understand everything and help me to accept the fact that I could no longer see or be with him for the rest of my life. I stood still to my faith on july 19. I arrived Manila and immediately went to his burial. My In-laws sent me out of the house and did not allow me to attend the burial. Despite of the humiliation I got from his family, I held onto God’s Promise in the book of Deuteronomy 31:6 says: “Be determined and confident. Do not be afraid of them. Your God the Lord himself, will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.”