Gift for Gab: Your Best Comments For The Week Of June 5th 2009

We here at The Frisky live for celeb gossip, chocolate, and your comments. What can we say? You bitches crack us up! In honor of you, our smart, sexy, and incisive readers, who aren’t afraid to talk smack on the Internet, we’re giving away prizes! Each week we’ll award you awesome chatty Cathy’s a little something special. This week, five winners will receive Apica Notebooks. Without further adieu, the lucky winners of this week’s Gift For Gab.The Secret Keepernewmakcity in Mind Of Man: Why Self-Love Is Sex’s Sexiest Secret

This is the issue my friends and I have with masturbating in front of men: when we get ourselves off it’s 1000 times better than when a guy gets us off and we’re worried about the male ego being crushed upon finding this out.

Are you kidding me? Brides grow their own freaking lettuce for their wedding day? What?! I mean, I’m all about growing your own food in your backyard, but for 120 people for one day? I’m not a farm.

DIY stuff has definitely breached control. I’m getting married in August and the only DIY stuff I’m doing is buying wholesale flowers and making my own bouquets for the reception table centerpieces. Oh, and I’ve bought wine barrels for flower arrangements for either side of the altar. But that’s it. We’re spending more time daydreaming about our honeymoon and life after wedding than the weekend itself. As it should be…

So the second time EVER of having sex with my boyfriend, something bad happened. We were spooning and all of a sudden he pulled it out- getting ready for a position change- and slapped my ass cheek. The LOUDEST and longest queef I have ever heard followed. Seriously, it was probably 10 seconds long.

I was mortified! Thankfully, our eyes met and we both cracked up. We laughed so hard that we ended up not even finishing sex, but cuddling and giggling. A terrible experience ended up being beneficial for our relationship actually! Moral of the story: if you want a little forced bonding, let your vajayjay do all the talking.

Bonobos chimps have it right. They solve all of their problems by calming each other with physical contact, as opposed to becoming violent like other sort sof chimps.

And hugs are important. When I first went to college this fall, I didn’t know anyone. I had come from this tightly knit group where physical contact was always there (hugs, shoulder touches, six people piling onto a two person couch) to this place where I wasn’t to the point where I could make contact with anyone. I went, like, two months, without hugging anyone and it seriously affected my moods.

I thought I was being weird, but then I mentioned it to another person who had come from out of state (and thus knew no one) and they said they had had a similar reaction. It had nothing to do with sex at all.

I was 15, he was 18. He was my closest “guy friend”, no strings attached. Afterwards, he asked if I had ever given head before, and I said “no, why?” and he said because I did it like a porn star. I was so proud of myself! The next guy I did it to ended up marrying me, haha. I think my skin-flute skills may have played a small role in that!

Congratulations to this week’s winners! Next week, we’ll be giving away Food & Wine Cocktails to three lucky readers. Good luck and keep on commentin’!

Leolah Brown, sister to Bobby Brown and aunt to Bobbi Kristina was kicked out of her niece’s funeral yesterday after verbally lashing at Pat Houston Bobbi Kristina’s former manager as well as sister-in-law to Bobbi Kristina’s mother Whitney Houston. Phew. That was a mouthful.