It only took me 5 months to write up and post this, and it’s just in time for Halloween! I’ve had non-stop work travel and projects this year and I was lucky enough to even have time to bake for Vin’s cake, so I’ll take it as a win!

The Shining cake

This year marks the 40th anniversary of my husband’s existence. Facebook keeps reminding me of all the cakes I’ve made for Vin’s birthday (and how fucking long I’ve been THE Cake DealerTM) and how friggin’ stellar they are, so this year’s cake has to be EXTRA AMAZING to make sure my guy has the best birthday ever and show his exponentially increasing awesomeness. Yeah, no fucking pressure on me. I’ve done themed cakes of things that are important to Vin. For example, why would I ever make a vegetable cornucopia for his birthday? I’ve made a lot of food-related cakes and the meat idea is kind of “meh” for me now; to be honest that porterhouse is probably the best it’s going to get and that was seven years ago hahaha But this year’s idea was pretty much given to me by Vinnie himself.

Photo by @chubbychinesegirleats

He said it was silly that some adults who shall remain unnamed were throwing themselves 40th birthday parties and that it was the last thing he’d want. Naturally, I do the opposite and start planning for a big birthday bash b/c I’m just the best! I browsed large format dinners, considered renting a bus to get tickets for Medieval Times, booking part of a beer hall, thought about booking Sammi’s Roumanian (I think we’re not as young as we think we are so this would have been straight out insanity, hangovers and digestive issues all around), and then came across this list that suggested renting out a movie theatre. It honestly was more along the lines of what I wanted: a private space where everyone could be grouped together for a proper “SURPRISE!” and still be fun and I could have interchangeable guests knowing how some people have a tendency to say “YES” and not show up and others may not respond and then you’re gifted with their presence at the event. (Yes, I’ve learned my lesson from wedding planning. These things are the worst for a Type A planner like yours truly.) Also, I kind of liked the private theatre idea for ME, too. I always wanted a movie theatre birthday as a kid, the kind where you watch a movie with your friends (and all the other strangers who bought tickets for that movie time as well) and then go into a private room with super bored movie staff and have shitty cake and pizza… it sounded way more fun before I said that out loud, didn’t it? But I liked this idea and wanted to do it right. So I did my research and contacted a few locations in the city, and got quotes for different days and times for Vin’s potential birthday bash. The pricing is just like a wedding; the prime times for Friday evening and Saturday cost much more than a Sunday evening shindig, and to have the party on Vin’s actual birthday would have been double b/c 1) Memorial Day weekend and 2) “Solo” was premiering. The Sunday a week before his birthday it is! I email Vin’s family and close friends and ask if they’d be interested in coming to the city to surprise Vin and watch a movie (most likely horror) on a Sunday evening, and the RSVPs were pretty high! A lot of people were out of town or had family events, but I got a lot of “YES!” responses. In crowd sourcing the ideas, I also included a clearly worded notification that said “Don’t mention this to Vin or I will fucking hunt you down =)” with emphasis on the smiley face. I settled on the Alamo Drafthouse even though I had never been but heard great things: the seats were comfortable, the food and drink options were good, the stadium seating views were perfect, they had a good sound system, and you could be a lazy ass and order food/drinks and servers would just bring it to you. The manager there was a dream to work with and answered all of my 23497602 questions and gave helpful food suggestions and ideas for logistics… it made organizing this surprise remotely SO much easier. I never set foot in this place until the actual party and it was a breeze.

Snow on The Overlook Hotel Maze

The biggest concern I had was whether or not I could bring in a cake since the contract explicitly says no outside food is permitted, but it was not a big deal at all. Phew! I ordered a bunch of burgers and sliders and pizza and popcorn for the guests, and the manager was sweet enough to let people in early so that more people could be on time for the surprise AND she suggested that 80s music with movie clips would be playing in the background before the movie started. How’s THAT for amazing customer service?

So what was next… step 1: I picked a date and location, and the next big decision was what movie to show??? I wanted it to be horror because that is Vin’s absolutely favorite genre. I, on the other hand, I can watch any Marvel movie or Pixar flick on repeat but “Paranormal Activity” made me scared of my own house and I couldn’t stand to be alone at home thanks to that stupid movie. But it’s not for me, it’s Vin’s special day so I was determined to suck it up and watch a scary movie. I gave suggestions like “The Shining” or “Creepshow” or other 80s classic horror films, and after conferring with Vin’s brother and the movie theatre manager, “The Shining” was the winner. Vinnie’s brother said it was Vin’s favorite, and also the manager said it was probably easiest to get the licensing rights to show and that since it’s a classic horror movie it would appeal to more people, so this was the theme of Vin’s birthday. (Little did I know, a LOT of people had never watched nor wanted to watch “The Shining” so half the theatre cleared out after cake was served hahaha)

Step 2: Designing the invite. I knew JUST the design I wanted and it was perfect for this party. You know the scene where Jack Nicholson sticks his head through the door and is like, “Herrrrre’s Johnny!” Vin has this really endearing tendency to give crazy eye and look deranged in most of his photos, so it was pretty easy to find a pic of him looking mildly psychotic. I asked our friend Ben if I could use his high res photo of Vin giving such a look, and then asked Vin’s brother to Photoshop the photo to be just like the door scene and the invite would read, “Herrrrre’s Johnny Prime!” How fucking fitting is that? I know, I’m a great creative director, too. I sent out e-invites to Vin’s nearest and dearest to “come play with us!” and based on all the “YES!” responses, I ended up renting a larger theatre at the Alamo.

Step 3: Cake. What is the first thing you think of when someone talks about “The Shining”??? Is it the hotel? The creepy twins? “REDRUM”? The weird bear performing sexual acts on some dude in a tux? For me, the most iconic thing of the movie is the hedge maze. I had it in my mind from day one that I would be making a cake of this, and it would involve the most intricate planning and secrecy and if… just IF, all of this worked out, it would be spectacular. However, the more people asked what kind of cake I was making, the more I started to doubt myself and think I was crazy.

PRETEXT:Crystal: What’re you making for Vin?Me: You know the maze from The Shining?Crystal: No, I’ll have to look it up…

Step 4: I laid out my plan and told Vin I had a baking order that had to be delivered in Brooklyn the day of the surprise party, and I was being paid well to just make a sheet cake and some cupcakes for a kid’s birthday. (My being paid in seeing Vin’s shocked reaction at the party: priceless.) I said I needed his help carrying the cupcakes and getting the doors for me, so to make up for it I’d take him out for food afterwards. I was not entirely lying to my husband. =D I spent a good three lunch breaks looking up all high res images of “the shining maze” I could find on google.

The Shining images: movie and minecraft. These were taped to the kitchen wall while I was decorating. I ALMOST forgot to take them down when I finished assembling the maze while Vin was at work.

Some of the images were shitty and inaccurate, like there were all these drawings and recreations of completely symmetrical mazes. WTF? If you look at a screen grab of the scene where Jack Nicholson is peering over the replica of the maze in the hotel it’s clearly not the same on both sides. What lazy half assery is that? So yeah, I pored over tons of images and studied tons of pics and read all about the Mythbusters guy making his own replica of the hedge maze.

MY MATH WAS PERFECT. I ALMOST became an engineer, believe it or not.

After I found a relatively helpful Mindcraft-looking layout, I had to recalc all the measurements because the sheet cake I baked was not exactly the same size as this piece of paper I printed. Also, there was NO way the hedges on this cake could be as thin as the tiny squares on the paper, so I had to take that into account, too. Thank you, engineering and math skills for helping me in my time of need!

Now comes the fun part. It took about 5 days to make everything from start to finish.

Vin’s favorite cake: FUNFETTI. This is like wallpaper.

On the first day, I prepped all the cake batter (vanilla + a shitload of sprinkles b/c Vin’s favorite cake is funfetti™) to make a dozen cupcakes and three layers for the sheet cake. Every time I make a sheet cake, I always forget the baking sheets are never quite as large as I think they are, so I ended up with a sheet cake that was much smaller than I originally anticipated. Fuck. And I overbaked the cupcakes by like… an extra minute so I wasn’t thrilled with how this project was starting. I stayed up late the first night to dirty ice the sheet cake to trap in the moisture and covered that shit in saran wrap. The naked cupcakes were stored in the freezer to be used if ABsolutely necessary. Oh yeah, Vin was 10 feet away from me the whole time I was baking. Hah!

The next morning I woke up early while Vin went on a run to roll out black fondant and cut out the letters for “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” I found the PERFECT font type cutters on Etsy @katobakingsupplies and they had custom sizes (2”!!!) and 3-D printed me a custom “A” too. The letters looked exact from that screenplay scene where Olive Oyl flips the hell out at Jack’s desk. I intended for this phrase to wrap around the bottom of the sheet cake, but honestly, I wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out. I cut out the letters and let them air dry and harden and hid them under a blue silicone mat so Vin wouldn’t see it. Again, this was “hidden” in plain sight on my workbench all week.

Hand cut fondant letters…

That evening I baked MORE cupcakes and made a crapload of plain white frosting for the cake and cupcakes. Our fridge was getting pretty full. I couldn’t work on anything for a day and a half since we had a dinner event with a bunch of friends, so I just took the next day off from work to do the BIG part: the hedge maze. Have I ever made a hedge maze before? Let alone an edible yet structurally sound hedge maze that is proportional to a blurry screenshot from a movie? Well we were going to find out. Vin left for work and I took the day off to really get started on this cake. I taped printouts of a couple images to the wall in the kitchen and measured and calculated ratios and estimated lengths and just tried my hand at it. I made one batch of Rice Krispies treats per the recipe on the box and it was just wayyyy too soft and gloopy. This was not good. I mixed in two different shades of green and a couple handfuls of cereal in and just covered my hands in PAM and went at it. I rolled out the green glob on a large silicone mat and then used a multi-strip pasta cutter (it was a random find from Williams Sonoma that is one of the best investments ever for cutting fondant and for apparently rolled out Rice Krispies treats and I have yet to use it for actual pasta) to cut out 2” strips for the hedges. The consistency was relatively solid, yet still pliable enough so I could score the edges and bend the strips to make corners. They had to be rolled out as thin as possible because I wanted to be as accurate as possible in making the maze, and it was a super tough fit. I started off putting the border around the cake and then honestly took a good half an hour to brace myself to start constructing the rest of it. I took a sticky green strip and measured it and started from one corner and just put it down. That’s how it began. I couldn’t lift it up again to replace it or move it so I just had to continue with what I started. And it wasn’t just taking a ruler and measuring out the squares, but measuring the distance from the border to the center open area, where the arch was supposed to be, making sure things were proportionate… I honestly didn’t have a game plan, like if I was going to start from one corner and branch out from one end to another, or focus on the center first and then expand out… I ended up kinda jumping all over the place because there were main focal points that needed to be centered, and I didn’t want the spacing to be completely distorted.

The Shining cake: And so it begins…

I started on one corner, jumped to the corner across from it, planted pieces in that connected the center to the border, marked up the open section in the center, then jumped from the archway border and worked my way in. I’d say about ¾ of the cake is pretty accurate; the remaining part I improvised b/c I was getting fucking tired and running out of space, so I just winged it. I didn’t know how to best make the arch so I literally bent a strip of green Krispies treats into an arch shape and “voila!” It was a bit thin and kept leaning over so I stuck a couple toothpicks to reinforce the arch, but all in all the maze still looked pretty damn decent. I made good time for establishing the base of the cake decorations and had to run out to meet Vin for dinner, so I covered the cake in this massive cardboard cake box and put it in the fridge. That evening I couldn’t work on anything because we both were home, soooo on that day I rested. Hey, even God needed a break, too.

Bits and pieces of The Shining Cake

On Saturday, I was expecting Vin to have a press dinner with his friends so I’d have the time I needed to put the finishing touches on the hedges (did you notice those pointed pyramids on the outer border or how the center hedges have that beveled castle top structure? No? Well, I did. And they have to be on the cake!), but of course… that dinner was canceled. My Uncle Rob came to the rescue and devised this plan to take Vin out for cigars and steak dinner and it gave me the few hours I needed to finish the little decorations and to stabilize the weak parts of the hedges (I silently screamed when a part of the border broke off, but luckily, soft Rice Krispies treats are like cement and I just plugged that piece back in and patched up some of the thinner areas of the hedges. Phew!). I took a small shaker full of powdered sugar and sprinkled that all over the hedges so the contrast would show up better, and then arranged the black fondant letters around the bottom of the cake. They fit perfectly. I padded the top of the box with bundles of saran wrap and put the top of the cardboard cake box over this and taped the edges shut so Vin wouldn’t be able to peek anyway. (He doesn’t dare touch decorated cakes lest he ruin the design and endure my wrath.) And then I cleaned up the kitchen and waited for my uncle and Vin to come home. It was extra funny because Vin kept asking me if I wanted to go to the cigar bar, and I said I wasn’t feeling it so I’d stay home. And then when they decided to stay out longer to get steak nearby (aka I needed another hour or so and my uncle stalled for time for me), Vin kept asking if I wanted to join them for dinner and I kept replying I wasn’t in the mood for steak. Haha This is what happens when you marry someone that actually likes your company and wants to hang out with you all the time <3

The Shining cake – with snow

Some more angles of The Shining cake – with snow

The next day was THE day. That morning Vin went to run and I decided it would be fine to finish the cupcakes in front of him. The cupcakes followed the theme of the movie, too, but you kind of had to really think about it and be a fan to get the abstract concept. Also, the whole hiding in plain sight thing was really working out for me with his birthday so I was just going to run with it haha I mixed the perfect shade of light blue frosting that was identical to the dresses the “twins” wore. I tied light pink ribbon around the cupcakes because the creepy ass girls had pink ribbons around their waists, and with two dozen quick swirls of light blue frosting my baking and cake decorating was DONE. Vin came by and was like, “Baby, these look so nice!” And I extra smilingly said, “Thanks!” He even took a pic and sent them to his friends (who were also coming to the party) and they were like, “Are those for a gender reveal?” Good going, guys. That was brilliant. hahaha

just some gender reveal cupcakes?

“Come play with us, Danny…”

I cleaned the kitchen AGAIN and showered and packed up the cupcakes in a sturdy bag and ordered a Lyft to head to Brooklyn. Vin was all, “Did you confirm the reservation for food?” And I was all, “Yeahhhh, uhh, they said we could go whenever and it’s a block away from the drop off… it’s fine don’t worry about it,” and Vin actually texted one of our friends (who was attending the party!) what to get at this place. I was not prepared for that and didn’t have the chance to warn the guy, but luckily he replied to Vin, “Everything is good.” hahaha I tried to gauge the timing as best I could, but given unpredictable NYC traffic, Google said that it would take anywhere from 30 min to an hour 15 to get there. Geesh. I gambled that it would take 45 min so we left at 330 to get there around 415. But here’s the thing: we had been driving for about 10 min and I realized I forgot Vin’s glasses. He kinda needs them to see the freaking movie. I should have snuck them in my bag while he wasn’t looking, but I completely forgot. I made the driver turn back (and tipped him well for the trouble!) and said, “Shit! I forgot… the cake topper! I can’t believe I forgot it! Shit! Shit shit shit!!!” So I set the cake on the seat, ran up to our apartment with my tote bag, grabbed Vin’s glasses case, threw it in my bag, and then ran back to the car. This caused a 15-20 min delay in timing, but actually, it was good because people tend to be late no matter how much you drive in that they have to be on time for the surprise. I had a dependable and responsible friend run point and get to the theatre early and I kept her updated with the traffic and when we were getting close. She kept texting updates about the food and guests and said that some stragglers were trickling in at 415, so it was good that we were a little late. I called her when we were about 3 min away and said, “Heyyyy, we’re getting close with the cake. See you soon!” and then went up the elevator with this massive covered cake and right into the theatre. Vin’s holding the bag of cupcakes (just in case he drops it during the surprise!) and he’s like, “They just let us walk in? How do you know which theatre number to go in?” and I’m all, “Yeah, the Alamo knows I’m delivering a cake and they said to deliver to theatre #3. Can you walk in front of me b/c I have to adjust carrying this cake.”

And then, it happened. He walked in and about 60 people yelled, “SURPRISE!!!” and Vin is shocked for a good 20 seconds. He’s stunned to see friends we haven’t seen in a while, he wasn’t expecting to see all his siblings and cousins, and he’s just smiling and shaking his head, “Seriously?” I came in behind him with this small smile just watching his expression, and luckily, the man doesn’t stop grinning. (You don’t understand how worried I was that day b/c I kept thinking all of a sudden, “What if Vin is PISSED I threw him a party???”) One of his friends takes the cake box from me and instinctively I’m like, “AhhhHHHH be careful!!!” like someone has just grabbed my newborn child from my arms. I mean, I haven’t checked on the cake for almost a day and just hope it didn’t melt in the sweltering heat! Thankfully, the cake was intact when I lifted the cover and the smell of butter and sugar wafted from the box. I finally let out a sigh of relief and could breathe again. Pictures were taken of the cake, I got shit for not putting a tiny Jack in the hedges, tons of hugs and hellos were given, and it was smiles all around. It was just great to see so many people come to say, “Happy birthday!” to Vin, especially since a whole bunch of friends and family came in from wayyy out of town, and it meant to ton to me. I mean, it was either that sentiment or people just wanted to come have some legit Cake Dealer cake and watch “The Shining” on the big screen. I was extra impressed everyone kept the surprise and Vin had no idea. My smiley face threat worked!

Check out the guns on Johnny Prime

Vin tried to cut the first piece of cake but it’s not easy with the hedges. And so I am just mashing the cake b/c it’s still super moist (YES!) and this plastic knife is not doing the trick and the Rice Krispies are a bitch to cut through. Luckily, my brilliant point person friend (Allison, I <3 you!) helps a ton and we tag team the cake: she rips off the pieces of hedges, I cut the cake pieces, and she scoops them up into plates. I was told I outdid myself with design AND flavor and it was my best cake yet =D

@allisonkimchi is a huuuuuge help. I am just stabbing at cake and making a mess. It’s a massacre.

We had a small section of extra cake left and took home about 8 extra cupcakes. And I was worried there wouldn’t be enough cake. Psshhh! The servers were great and were on top of everything. No one was without a drink, they had plates and forks for the cake, popcorn was set up on tables so we were ready to go with the show. We didn’t get some food that I originally ordered, but that was fixed afterward due to the great customer service. I really can’t thank the theatre enough for managing this so well considering I had never been here AND was arriving at the party late. Unfortunately, some people couldn’t stay for the movie (or they had no interest in seeing a horror movie), but I was glad everyone was able to give Vin birthday hugs and a good time was had by all. And that I remembered Vin’s glasses for the movie. And that he fulfilled his dream of making fart noises in a movie theatre during a sexy scene. And that he didn’t get mad at me for throwing the party. hahaha It was a good surprise, and after all that we’ve been through, I was just happy that Vin was happy. Happy 40th, baby. I love you so very much. And note to self: if I ever make this hedge cake again, I’ll stick a small frozen Jack Nicholson in the maze or I will never hear the end of it. =D

Ever since I started baking, I’ve heard: “Why don’t you make a TURKEY CAKE for Thanksgiving? Oh, you know what would be a really creative idea for Thanksgiving? OMG if you made a cake that looked like a TURKEY! You should TOTALLY make a turkey cake. Turkey cake turkey cake turkey cake!”

Well, I succumbed and made it. Ta daaaaaa:

Top view of my turkey cake and stuffing platter

For the Thanksgivings that preceded this eventful turkey cake, I kept responding with, “Um… it’s going to take a lot of time…” And surprise. IT DID. Thanksgiving 2015 was on Thursday (as always, duh) November 26; per usual, I took my sweet @ss time getting started and stayed up super late to rush and finish the damn thing. I actually made two cakes instead of just one for Thanksgiving. Mind you, I’ve never tried making a poultry platter cake before so why the hell not make TWO cakes because I’m clearly insane.

*Because I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say “Just Do It TM” in the headline.

OK, this is a SUPER LATE post, but I figure it’s fitting since VIN IS RUNNING THE NYC MARATHON SOON!!! This counts as carb-loading, right??? Now look at the pics….

Another year, another birthday for Vin. He started running last year for health reasons and now he’s one of those obsessed runners (meanwhile, I’m still a lazy bum that sleeps all the time as pointed out by the NYT), so the OBVIOUS cake this year was a sneaker. To be specific, a replica of his sneaker. The obsessed runner is very particular about his running kicks, and I wasn’t able to check out his actual shoe at home (we are physically glued to the hip when I’m not traveling and Vin is not running) so I sneakily asked Vin, “Oh heyyyy, baby… what’s the style name of your sneaker? I think I saw it on sale and I know you wear a certain style so I wanted to make sure it was the same one…” So he told me, I looked it up, printed out enlarged pics of every angle of this shoe in black, and then hid the images under a pile of junk mail on my work bench. (Vin NEVER looks through the stuff on my work bench; he only looks at the mounds of random shit piling up with disgust and dread and wants to throw it all out =P)

Tonight’s lovely press dinner is brought to you by a repeat guest: Didier Pawlicki, the energetic owner/chef of the romantic La Sirene. Both restaurants share the same kitchen yet have completely different concepts. Taureau is all about fondue and only about fondue and is probably the only all fondue restaurant in the city. I had slight qualms about an all fondue restaurant ever since a sad, traumatic experience at The Melting Pot (tres gauche), but Didier worked his magic again to make this another fantastic food fest.

Fondue pots down the table

I remember walking into La Sirene thinking, “Oh, it’s cute in here,” but with Taureau, it was intimate, dark and sexy. My initial thought was, “How does it relate to a bull?” since Taureau means “bull” in French, but the enigmatic Didier had all this thought out: the element for the astrological sign Taureau is “earth” and all the ingredients and components were from or of the land. AND, this side of the premises had a raw feel that reminded me of a wine cellar, with slightly arched ceilings and exposed brick decor. Had it not been for the window looking out to the street, we could have been dining underground! Quite ingenious how this whole concept ties together, Didier. Very smart. He also takes pride in creating the fondue recipes and pairings himself. You may ask yourself, “Really, how complicated could it be to just melt something?” The chef really considered the additional ingredients that would compliment the melted cheese or bring out the flavors of the sides dipped in the fondue pots for each course so that every pairing and combination would work. He really is a creative genius. I’m convinced this guy could mastermind a plan to take over the world and no one would realize it until it’s too late. =)Read More

Let’s just be quick about it, shall we? I had to bake for 2 special little boys: one hasn’t even been born yet, and the other is one of my super cute, super crazy godsons.

Underwater cake collage… complete with a lurking shark!

The theme for the baby shower cake was the ocean, so I played around with some ideas to use on a small cutting cake for the parents-to-be. The first order of business was to ice the little cake in blue frosting. I was going to cover it in fondant, but liked the effect of the bubbles in the frosting, so I just cleaned and sharpened the edges for my canvas. Light brown sugar was pressed along the bottom of half of the cake; for some reason I didn’t want all of it covered in sugar and liked the half-and-half effect. I had used star cutters to make fondant starfish before and they worked wonderfully, so I knew I wanted starfish. Then I found leaf cutters meant for roses, but used the shapes haphazardly to create these great seaweed/algae pieces. I bought a whale cookie cutter from my new favorite store, Sur La Table but it ended up being rather disproportional to the algae and starfish. I mixed a small piece of grey fondant and shaped a shark fin on top, and carefully placed little schools of fish sprinkles around the cake. I don’t even think it’s ecologically correct… I mean, do starfish hang around the bottom of the ocean and cling to seaweed like that? Who knows. It looked cute and was a nice and quick little project.

Ta daaa! A crappy 360 video clip of the cake

The order included cupcakes, so I swirled the same blue frosting over vanilla cupcakes (side note: I LOVE my new oven. It’s huge and bakes everything so evenly AND I don’t have to guess the timing and temperature anymore! #inheaven) and used extra pieces of seaweed and starfish as cupcake toppers. Unfortunately I didn’t take a photo of the cupcakes BEFORE bringing them in =(

handmade fondant starfish. eww, what dry hands have I.

seaweed cupcake

For my oldest godson’s 3-year birthday party, I whipped up a little bowling pin cake. This little boy is one of the cutest little human beings on the planet, and he’s also one of the craziest. haha Since he’s my godson, of COURSE he gets special treatment and I just had to make a little SOMETHING for his party. He’s currently obsessed with bowling and planets, so bowling pins and a ball that had Jupiter-like swirls it was. And when I say whipped up, I mean, I hand shaped and cut 10 bowling pins with stripes and a bowling ball during the time it took for Vin to go on his morning run. I iced that baby in minutes and added extra fondant stars, and voila… a little cake with knocked over pins.

As soon as he saw it, he wanted to stand them up but didn’t quite get why I said no and that they’d be all sticky. Later on, he was throwing a tantrum about having to take his shoes off and started yelling and crying, so I picked him up and took him to look at his cake. Within in the span of 2 minutes, this little guy ate about 6 of the bowling pins. Such an insane but adorable little kid. <3

It’s that time of year again, you guys; Memorial Day, the start of summer, Vin’s birthday, a.k.a. the making of the most awesome cake of the year!!! Vin really is the best. He’s worked so hard to get in shape and become healthy, his food critique brand is really taking off, he’s always always thinking of me, and even after five years of marriage we’re still goofy and mushy and hold hands wherever we go. (And that’s NOT just because I’m clumsy and will probably trip on myself if I’m wearing heels.) I really love being with this guy, and one of the few things better than hanging out with my husband is enjoying delicious tasty food with Vin.

Seriously, this is all cake and sweetness (except for the bowl and chopsticks)

As you may know, he is Mr. Johnny Prime, steak connoisseur. However, his reviews have expanded to include all really good food and great restaurants in general. Given that this past winter was so brutal and long, we were on a ramen and noodle soup kick, and nothing can warm your cold bones better than some delicious hearty soup! Of course this gave me the idea MONTHS ago to make Vin a ramen cake for this year’s birthday, but according to him, he TOLD me he wanted a ramen cake. Details, details. Haha So I started planning out his ramen cake… Read More

Right after I won a prestigious NY news behemoth’s holiday party (and still wondering if it’s a conflict of interest since I work @ ANOTHER famous and notable NY-based news media organization), I had to bake for my company’s finance department holiday party. Since I was really busy trying to wrap up year-end testing, I just planned on whipping up simple bite-sized eggnog cupcakes the night before the event and figured it would be quick and easy and get me off the hook for dessert. (I had threatened to go buy Chips Ahoy! cookies since I heard, “Oh, you should bring in a big [holiday themed item] made of cake for the Finance party!” 2345 times and I could refrain from blinking/staring/pointing @ the occupational hazard of dark bags under my eyes only so many times.)

Tasty, festive, sweet balls

HOWEVER… my friend A in the newsroom (a super talented pastry chef whose baked good photos should be in “Food & Wine”) told me about the annual dessert contest that happened to ALSO be the same day as the finance holiday party (it’s open to everyone at the company but the participants tend to be from News/Marketing/Sales). At first I was like, “Whhhaaaaaaaa???!!! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? It’s less than 2 days before the contest! OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO MAKE I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME AAGGGGHHHH!!!” But after a brainstorming session with my esteemed baking buddy, I narrowed it down to a few ideas and thought maybe… just maybe, I can pull something off…

One of my uncles contacted me about a month ago to ask if I could help him with a food contest. My ears immediately perked up, keen with interest. He was participating in his company’s holiday potluck, and this year’s theme happened to be international countries and related movie themes. (I should disclose that he happens to work @ a reputable, massive, NYC-based news institution that has been around since 1851, also known as “The Grey Lady.” You’re not a true NYer if you haven’t figured out which newspaper it is by now.) My uncle happened to pick Morgan Spurlock’s eye-opening and artery clogging documentary “Super Size Me,” which of course could only be conceived by someone in good ol’ US of A. I was like, “Sure, Uncle S… I’m totally down to help, but AM I allowed to help? Are you allowed to buy things or have someone make the food for you?” As soon as he said it was fine, I told him about the awesome idea that instantly popped into my head.

Cupcake cheeseburgers, shakes and cookie fries

Before I continue, let’s address how it’s pretty obvious where my slightly competitive/creative nature comes from: my mom’s family. My uncles constantly try to beat each other in tennis every chance they get, especially at family gatherings meant for hanging out and eating food. My aunts are incredibly skilled musicians and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is talented and artistic, and on top of that, lightning wit and pure sarcasm pulses through our veins. We won’t just tell you about it; we just smother you with our amazingness and charm, and constantly complain about how we’re always winning. I believe the term “humblebrag” comes to mind. Hahaha (Seriously, I think my family is the best and I love them dearly <3) Surely, my uncle didn’t want to just participate in this holiday food competition; he wanted to show off and win. He didn’t need to tell me he wanted to beat his coworkers, or why else would he enlist my help? And I refuse to show anything off unless it’s pure awesomeness, so it was like, “Duh… we’re totally going to kill it.” =)

You know that annoying trait some couples have where they are like, “Ohhhhh my GAWD! We are so perfect for each other because I started saying, ‘I haven’t eaten all day and good thing it’s dinnertime because I’m—‘ and you just KNEW I was going to say ‘starving’ and finished my sentence so you’re totally my soulmate! Yay!” and you just want to simultaneously roll your eyes and punch them at the same time? (OK, not necessarily both of them, but it’s usually the chick that says it.) That cutesy sh*t irritates me to no avail. (Side note: Hyperbole and a Half is back so I feel more at ease being evil and sarcastic.)

Birthday typewriter cake

YET, it relates to this cake post because this is all about Vin’s birthday. And, as much as I hate to admit it, he and I take that sentence finishing crap to the next level because I like, OMG, can totally read his mind, too! I can tell the exact moment when he wants to spit out gum, the exact words he’s going to say about shows watching TV (think Gob and Tony Wonder from the new “Arrested Development” season where they’re like “…same”), and the best example: when we were getting frustrated designing wedding invites during lunch hour @ our respective jobs, and I got fed up and drew a picture of discharging male genitalia in Microsoft Paint and scribbled “Come to our wedding. Vin & K” and emailed the “invite.jpg” file to Vin, only to get an email reply 2 seconds later that said “OMG I was seriously drawing wedding invite mock ups with penises and pubic hair before hahahaha!!!” At first, it was kind of creepy and I’m pretty sure I weirded Vin out (“How did you know that???” was said a lot), and it probably freaked him out more when I deadpanned, “I read your mind.” Now it’s just normal <3