Yes, Squirting is Real (And it’s not pee.)

I want to start by saying that I do not know everything there is to now about squirting/female ejaculation. I am not a doctor, a scientist, or a researcher. What I am, however, is an expert at my own body. And I know that I ejaculate, and that is is most definitely not the same as peeing. I am not opposed to further study of the chemical makeup and process of squirting–I’m all for more research, and that is not what upsets me.

What upsets and angers me is when the media takes a very small (and arguably poorly designed) study of squirting and proclaims it the truth and the be-all end-all on the matter. I’m not going to link to the media outlets that wrote about it because I don’t want to send traffic to their crappy, patronizing articles, but I’ve read at least three that sensationalize this small, inconclusive study, declaring SQUIRTING IS REALLY JUST PEE all too gleefully.

I don’t care if my ejaculate is chemically similar to pee (and I don’t think there’s evidence that it is), but regardless, my experience of squirting during sex is NOT that of peeing and is tied to my pleasure and to call it “essentially adult bed wetting” is incredibly insulting, condescending, and damaging.

Let’s talk about the study1 for a moment, shall we. First off, as I already mentioned, it studied only 7 women, all of whom ejaculate a large amount2 during orgasm. They took ultrasounds of the participants’ bladders before arousal, right after they became aroused, and after squirting. They also took urine samples before sexual stimulation, samples of the squirt, and urine samples after. In the results, they report the levels of PSA (prostatic fluid) as well as urea, creatinine, and uric acid levels. I’m not going to go into all of the findings in detail, but the main points I took from it were that 2 of the women didn’t have any PSA in their squirt, 5 did, and 1 had a lot of it, and 2 of the participants’ squirt showed little difference in the amounts of urea, creatinine, and uric acid in their squirt/urine.

First off, there seem to be some pretty obvious problems with this study….like why did they only study 7 women, and why only women who ejaculate lots of fluid every time it happens?3 Why didn’t they note the size of the prostate before and after stimulation in the study? Or are they including it with the neighboring bladder, which would pretty much invalidate the whole squirt is pee hypothesis?

Also, a study conducted in Spain in 1999 by psychologist and sexologist Dr. Francisco Cabello Sanatamaria (Sundahl 25) suggests that women ejaculate retrograde into the bladder if they don’t release their ejaculate–how does this relate to the women in the study? Could they be producing the squirt in their prostates, storing excess in their bladders until the moment of orgasmic release? If not, how and why do women produce such large amounts of fluid in the bladder, and only from sexual stimulation of the prostate? Why does it contain prostatic fluid? Does the size and shape of their prostate (there are 4 types) and the number of glands and ducts (it varies greatly) affect the chemical makeup/amount of PSA in their squirt?

I get that no one study can cover everything, but these are all very important questions that need further study.

It seems that the researchers don’t understand the experiences of women/people who ejaculate, and they think it’s a “problem” to be “fixed.” In the end of the study, the report says that a recent study shows that 4 out of 5 women who ejaculate see it as an enrichment to their sex lives…but then they go on to say that since the study didn’t specify how much these women ejaculate, women who ejaculate a lot probably see it as a problem. Based on nothing but these scientists’ conjecture.

The media is disregarding the experiences of so many women who ejaculate and find it a natural, fulfilling part of their sexuality, and trying to portray squirting in a negative light. In addition to people who squirt seeing it as a vital part of their sexual experience and identity, there have also been studies that suggest that squirt may provide a protective agent for the urethra (Sundahl 42) and that female ejaculate plays a role in creating a supportive environment for sperm/reproduction as well (Sundahl 36.)

And let’s not forget the other studies that have shown that squirt is not the same as urine. In her book book “Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot,” Deborah Sundahl (who has been researching female ejaculation for 35 years & references dozens of studies in her book) asserts that female ejaculate is predominately prostatic fluid (produced by the female prostate) mixed with 10% glucose & trace amounts of urine (uric acid, urea, & creatinine.)

Still, the media chooses to disregard all of the previous research, as well as the countless personal accounts of people who ejaculate, and declare “IT IS PEE! IT’S PISS! It’s essentially adult bed-wetting!” They use horribly negative language to portray what so many people consider to be an amazing, natural part of their sexuality. They also ignore the part of the study that I find most interesting– that all seven women reported that their squirting was partner dependent, and that in six of seven women, it was only possible after manual g-spot stimulation. Regardless of where their squirt comes from or what it’s made of, there’s obviously something more complicated going on here than just “peeing during sex.”

Which leads me to my own experience with ejaculation and how I know that ejaculation is not pee. When I squirt, I am not peeing. First off, it took me months to learn to stimulate my g-spot and learn to ejaculate. I wanted to do it, but it didn’t happen until I was not only stimulating my g-spot in the right way, but also relaxed and confident in my ability to do it. If it was “just pissing during sex,” I think it would’ve come much easier than that, and I’d be able to go it without g-spot stimulation. It also does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Most importantly, it does not feel like peeing. It feels like ejaculating.

Before I ejaculated for the first time, I wasn’t exactly convinced that squirting wasn’t pee. But I was interested in trying out a new experience, and I decided if I did pee during orgasm, so be it–I am not squicked out by bodily fluids. When I was first exploring my g-spot, the sensations I felt did remind me of the feeling of having to pee, which makes sense because the g-spot surrounds the urethral canal. But now that I’m familiar with my g-spot and the sensations I feel when it’s stimulated, I can easily distinguish between the two feelings: needing to pee and needing to ejaculate. If I’ve drank too much water and start having sex or masturbating, I know when I need to go pee, and I get up and go pee. If my g-spot is being stimulated by fingers, a toy, or a penis, and I feel the power of my arousal growing with stimulation and pressure to my g-spot to the point where I need a release–I know I need to ejaculate. They are two separate, distinct feelings and experiences.

My ejaculation varies–sometimes I can easily ejaculate while other times I can’t, but that’s not surprising, since the amount/ability to ejaculate depends on where you are in your menstrual cycle, as does its smell and taste (like with vaginal lubrication.) Obviously, it also depends on my mood, my arousal, and whether or not I want to make a mess that day.

I can control whether or not I ejaculate (so it’s definitely not “orgasmic incontinence.)” There have been a few times when I felt it was extremely urgent and perhaps I couldn’t have stopped it (read: uncontrollable, mind-blowing orgasms) but in general, I can control if and when I do it. Sometimes I choose not to, depending on the situation. It also does not always coincide with my orgasm. Sometimes it does, but sometimes I can squirt, then orgasm, then squirt some more…etc. I think it often enhances my g-spot orgasms, but I can also have g-spot orgasms without squirting. Men/people with penises too can learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm, so this isn’t surprising. It also isn’t surprising that for some women it isn’t controllable, as it isn’t controllable for many men. How we orgasm and ejaculate obviously varies.

I’d also like to point out that there is nothing wrong with urinal incontinence, or peeing during sex play, but I am asserting that squirting is a different experience and should not be labeled as “peeing during sex.”

For the people who say, what’s the big deal, why are you getting so upset? It’s just science. Science is objective–no, science is influenced by culture, and science has historically ignored or even vilified female sexuality. Let’s not forget that not long ago, scientists thought that our wombs wandered about in our bodies, creating hysteria–a “disease” that could only be cured by stimulation of women’s sex organs by a doctor. Let’s not forget that in the past, scientists left blank spots on diagrams of women’s anatomy or did not understand its full capacity.

Sensationalizing biased, misinformed, and inconclusive studies is not harmless–it is destructive. In her Vagaculation workshop last year, Diana J. Torres talked about how young women she met in Spain had had their prostates (g-spots) removed unnecessarily because doctors mistook their ejaculation for incontinence. The female prostate is an integral part of vaginal sexual anatomy, and to have it removed (and therefore also the potential for g-spot/orgasmic pleasure) due to misinformation and negative views of squirting is horrifying.

Deborah Sundahl also discusses how if women are consciously or unconsciously afraid they might pee during sex, they sometimes routinely clamp down on their PC muscles to avoid what is actually ejaculation, which can contribute to chronic pelvic muscle tension, a serious physical problem. Not to mention the shame surrounding sexuality after hearing “you don’t have a g-spot” or “female ejaculation isn’t real” all around you, even if you know it’s bullshit. Hearing that ejaculation is just pee or that it’s gross and something to be avoided can damage a person’s sexuality and well-being, even if it’s unconscious.

It has not always been like this. Historically, many cultures have recognized and even celebrated female ejaculation. And even in our culture, many sex educators and sexuality pioneers like Deborah Sundahl, Shannon Bell, Tristan Taormino, and others, have been teaching about the g-spot and female ejaculation and hosting workshops to spread knowledge about it for years. There are tons of personal accounts from squirters, some right therewaiting for you to read (sex blogs!), sharing their stories of ejaculation and g-spot pleasure. It is not something we’re all “making up,” it’s not a porn star trick, it’s not a myth–it is real, and it is not pee.

If you’re still not convinced that squirting is real, and you think I’m full of shit, I challenge you to think about why you find the idea of squirting/female ejaculation so offensive, and why you want to dismiss it as “just pee.” I also encourage you to do your own research–read more about it before you jump on the bandwagon and share one of those articles with silly gifs that mock the valid, real, and incredibly important experiences of so many people like myself. I’ve already heard of people sharing these condescending articles as a way to shame and intimidate people who squirt, and that is disgusting and unacceptable. Think what you want about the topic, but don’t use any article or study to make someone feel bad about their natural sexual experience.

Leading sex blogger Epiphora wrote a brilliant response to the media’s coverage of this study, sharing her experiences with squirting and asking other people who squirt to share their experiences in the comments section of her post as well as on Twitter with the hashtag #notpee. If you’re a squirter, please help us dispel these negative myths about our sexuality by participating!

Update 1/17: Lux Alptraum also wrote a great piece on this subject for the Guardian.

Like this:

72 thoughts on “Yes, Squirting is Real (And it’s not pee.)”

Glad to read and share this article. When I was in college, I had a girlfriend who would never allow herself to orgasm and would stop me, self-consciously. I was hurt and frustrated and confused. I also was of no help because this type of information was not available in 1986.

Unfortunately, it was several years later that I learned of squiring and the ladies who do so. There were signs that this was the cause of her hesitation, and I was sorry that I didn’t get a chance to encourage and experience it! I really hope that she has come to embrace it.

I saw the horrible “research” on facebook, being shared by so many people I knew, including some in the medical profession. It made me sad. I have read several bloggers who address the falisy of this so called study, and yet all that is ignored, and this inconclusive piece of crap is being spread everywhere – and that makes me question the agenda. Why is it so important to claim squirting is pee that everyone jumps on the message? Why is female ejaculation so terrifying (hence why the UK banned it in porn)?

For a woman that squirts, that has a slight hang up on this and is trying to work through it still even knowing better, this is certainly an uphill battle. It’s almost like society wants us to be ashamed of this fact – of this part of our sexuality.

I get so angry.

And you did a great job, probably the most down-to-earth personalized debate on this I’ve heard.

You know, before I read your article, I had already written my response to the articles you mention. And I think your response is the best one I’ve seen so far. It’s comprehensive with the prior studies and covers ejaculation vs. orgasm, as well as the very real consequences of squirt-shaming, something I hadn’t really thought that much about. Bravo.

Squirting is what kept me from having my first orgasm until I was 32 – not that I knew what squirting was or that it was my problem. All I knew is that I thought I had to pee, and there was no way I was peeing on my partner or myself. It took a huge leap of faith for that first really wet orgasm and then several minutes of investigation (I get a little weird about body fluids, lol). If I had seen the headlines like these first, I don’t know how long it would have taken me to let myself go enough to squirt and experience my own wonderful orgasms.

A couple of years ago, even though smell, sight, and yes taste told me it wasn’t urine, I did a few Google searches to “make sure.” Because studies were inconclusive or pointed to “not urine” I felt better. If the current headlines had popped up, I don’t know how I would have handled it.

Because of all that, this whole thing makes me angrier than I’ve been in a while – it’s personal. And I have no doubt there are other women out there with similar thoughts and issues. If squirters (and those that love us, lol) don’t stand up and share our stories, how else will they learn the truth about it?

Kayla,
I have been very interested and intrigued in the subject for many years now. I’ll make my position known upfront that I have been married several times, and had a number of partners since. Yes, a high sex drive.
The reason I stated my position is that I’ve come to understand that women vary dramatically in all aspects of their sexual drive and how and when they allow themselves to understand and explore their own body.
I think so much damage(usually because of a selfish male partner) is done in the early years of sex, that their ability to regain this is not until later, more mature years where they are more comfortable with their body, and maybe finally found that one partner who is like minded.
I have had a partner in the last two years that we instantly “clicked” and she could and did partially ejaculate or squirt several times during intercourse. But we also did not have to have penetrating sex for that to occur as I believe I knew her body very well in a short period of time. That I think is the key. Knowing your body and your partner knowing it intimately. So I can understand why your first real experience was at 32.
Thankyou
Michael

You mention that you would have liked to have the researchers “note the size of the prostate gland”. One really big problem there, women absolutely do not have them. Women have skene’s glands. The skene’s gland is considered the fenale prostate and where that PSA (prostate-specific antigen) comes from. Unfortunately, they are so small any amount of fluid released by them would be undetectable. They drain into the urethra. Where urine comes out. When you lose bladder control. When you orgasm.

Yes, women do have g-spots/prostates. I’d suggest you read Deborah Sundahl’s book Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot, there are plenty of images and studies referenced. Not to mention I know it exists because I can see & feel mine, as can thousands of other women.

I’m going to check that book out. You’re probably right. One poorly done study should not be the end-all-be-all in what’s happening. Thank you. It will be interesting to potentially learn something new about mah ladybits!

On a side note, I didn’t think my comment above would post my email address. How can I go about deleting it? Not only have I changed my mind (and am now back on the fence), I really don’t want my email on here.

The first time I squirted I had no idea that that was even a thing that could happen. It was with my 3rd boyfriend and I kinda felt like I might have to pee but it was also this really strong orgasm and I just couldn’t stop so I just exploded everywhere. He looked at me and said “You didn’t tell me you could do that” and I had these wide eyes and I was embarrassed and scared and I said “I didn’t tell me I could do that”. He had seen porn of it and was really into it though and he immediately tried to make it happen again. That was 6 years ago and fate brought us together again after not seeing each other for 4 years. He loves making me squirt and I love squirting for him. I really appreciate this article, I hate the idea of women not having the full orgasms that they deserve to have or be embarrassed by having them. I was nervous and did some internet research after that first time but the best thing I had behind me was a partner that enjoyed it and made me feel sexy for being able to do it.

thank you for your personal insight. Now I am curious for my wife. I think I personally would be flattered if it happened with my wife maybe I can learn a thing or two. Definitely going to check out the research. Absolutely no shame Ladies.

Pee, squirt, female ejaculate, amrita, whatever – the bottom line is that science, society, culture, religion, and all the powers that be have conspired for millennia to deny women pleasure related to sex. No matter what it is – and based on first-hand experience, I will assure you, it isn’t pee – it is pleasurable and that, in itself, should be enough to encourage and not shame it.

I am 30 years old, divorced and have 3 children. I now have the most amazing, sensitive boyfriend that I am madly in love with. Anyways after being together for almost two years about 3 months ago I found out that I could squirt, with his help of course. It was amazing & I never knew I had the ability to do so.

I have no doubt squirting is real, although I’ve never known a squirter. I dated a proto-squirter for a while. She literally gushed during sex, “at least that of a glass of water.” And it obviously wasn’t pee. Her fluid was more viscous/slippery than pee, and tasted like one would expect vaginal fluid to taste. I expect she’d have been able to train herself to squirt relatively easily were she so inclined.

Part of the problem with the representation of this study in the media is that most media outlets no longer invest resources into knowledgeable, well-grounded medical/science reporters because of cost-cutting. And even those that do, deadline pressures in this era of the instant news cycle mean they have no time to thoroughly investigate and research stories–especially those on topics that are obscure or seem weird at first glance. They just repackage whatever’s already floating around the interwebs and move on to the next piece. It’s times like these when bloggers such as yourself, Penny, really shine.

Sorry, what? How are penises related to this post? Also, what made you think that feminists as a whole have a single viewpoint on male circumcision?

I, a feminist, know what I’ve read and heard from MANY men (including male doctors and male sex partners) on the subject, and that is how my opinion on the topic was formed. Also, there is no shortage of male voices on this subject, nor of scientists/researchers who have lived experiences with penises.

You mention in the article that your ability to ejaculate may depend on your menstrual cycle… Does this mean that women who don’t have a period, whether it be because of diet, birth control, pregnancy, etc.. may not be able to ejaculate either? Just wondering what you mean by this and if you could possibly elaborate on what “time of the month” works best for you!

Deborah Sundahl mentions that it depends on your menstrual cycle in her book. To be honest I’m not sure if not having a period would affect squirting ability–I’ll look into it and if I find something I’ll let you know!
xxPenny

Penny I am so glad that you have shared this with everyone. So many find Facebook and the like to be the ‘end all, be all’ of social networking and information… to the point that many feel if Facebook said it, it must be right! I have recently discovered my own ability to squirt both alone and with the aid of my partner and it is a wonderful experience. I had wondered to what extent it may be peeing, but wasn’t worried about because, just like you’ve stated, it is a completely different experience that looks, smells, tastes and feels nothing like peeing. And I have to add, in my own effort to distinguish the difference I have made sure to void my bladder immediately before sexual play, thus making it impossible for an fluids I produced to be urine. Once I realized that I can and do actually ejaculate it certainly made me feel better about all the times that I have had very wet orgasms during sex. I believe that every woman is physically capable of ejaculating – not that she does, just that she is capable. If more proper study can be done and more women released from the stigma that is placed on our sexuality I believe more and more will be able to fully relax and enjoy the experience of female ejaculation. Every man that I have known not only loves the thought of it, but also the experience. Truly they seem to feel they have really accomplished something if they can make me ejaculate and it does strengthen the bond between us. So for all of you my sister squirters, let your lovers ride the waves of your orgasms! And for those of you who have been holding back or have not yet had the pleasure, take some time to explore your g-spot (on your own or with a partner) and don’t be afraid to step into the pool… the water is fine!

That’s awesome that you’ve discovered how to squirt! I too empty my bladder beforehand, and sometimes I can squirt within using with certain toys. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences with ejaculating!
xxPenny

While I agree that looking only at bladder size a few times was a choice that doesn’t give us enough information to discern the “when” of it filling up (which might have provided useful information about if, when, and to what degree Skene’s or other non-pee elements fill the bladder), I have to wonder if you read the actual study, looked at any of the figures from it, or just read articles about it.

Just looking at the urinary chemical levels of the participants at the measurement times (urination before orgasm, squirting, and urination after squirting) makes it pretty clear that the chemical makeup of urine is a core component of the fluids ( http://www.improbable.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/squirting-417×1024.jpg ). The one woman who had consistently low levels of UUA and UC had a comparatively large amount of PSA measured in her “squirt”.

Just simply looking at the charts should make it clear to anyone that two things were noticeable:

1) For some women, there are Skene’s/prostate emissions that mix with urinary chemicals to create “squirt” – with the ratio/composition varying from woman to woman (but being predominantly more urinary chemicals than PSA).

2) “Squirting” is the passing of urinary fluids just as peeing is. And that shouldn’t be surprising, considering how Skene’s is tied into the bladder. The question “How much of a woman’s squirt is pee?” misunderstands the facts.

There are two questions, and they’re independent of each other:

“How much of a woman’s emissions are urine at time x?” – And the answer varies for every x, depending on how her body is functioning. (See the graphs and note that some women (4) had decreasing urinary concentration at each measurement, while others (3) had varying amounts – including one woman whose urinary chemical concentrations increased at each measurement time.)

“How much of a woman’s emissions are Skene’s/prostate-generated at time x?” – And the answer varies for every x, depending on how her body is functioning.

You might want to say that you think most “squirters” are like participant 5 – low urinary chemical concentrations at all times, and high PSA in “squirt”. The data can’t support that conclusion or its opposite.

So, factually speaking, what we know is that

(1) It’s very likely that many women who squirt do have more urinary chemicals in their emissions to about the level that they have urinary chemicals in their waste/pee. That was true of all of the women, though participant 5 had a decrease in one element (uric acid) after the first measurement.

(2) It’s a fact that some women who squirt have zero or little PSA in their squirt. And it’s notable that participant 5 was the only one to have PSA during every measurement time.

We can only hazard a guess about anything else – like the number of women who are like participant 5 vs 4 vs 6 vs 2 vs 1, or what the total (non-urinary, non-PSA) chemical composition of “squirt” is for various women.

Yes, I read the entire study, not just articles about it. I have to wonder if you actually read my entire post, which goes into MUCH more than just thinking about this one small, seemingly biased study’s “facts” and figures.

My wife and some of our friends are squirters. If you look at “squirt” it has a completely different consistency and feel from pee, not to mention that it doesn’t taste like it. It is more viscous and to me kind of shiny.

Try massaging the A Zone to get really big squirts. The A Zone is higher up and kind of at the top of the vag. There is a little bit of technique required to work it but the response is generally pretty amazing.

I have ‘squirted’ about 5 times in my life and the first time i thought i had wee’d but (yes i did) i smelled it and it didn’t smell nothing of urine. The second time, i listened to my body and felt the process and no, it defo didn’t feel like peeing.