Monday, February 09, 2009

25 Things You Need To Know About My Husband

You may be aware of the "25 Things" lists flooding Facebook lately. I've read them in honest fascination of the things I never knew about my friends. One friend really took the cake on Friday -- his list included inspiring and heartbreaking moments alike, and as I read them aloud to my husband, he remarked that this was the reason he hadn't compiled his own list; he thinks he is not interesting.

Frankly, I happen to know he's one of the most interesting people I've ever met, although it has little to do with his past experiences. I told him right then that I would compile his list for him, which he did not want me to do, but since I am a contrary wife, here I am, publishing it on my blog.

25 Things You Need To Know About My Husband, As Written By Me.

25. He is ambidextrous. He writes with his right hand and eats with his left. All nails on his hands are regularly chewed off and many are lying in what I fondly refer to as the "nail graveyard," which is under a side table in our family room.

24. He once slept through a final in college. This is very unlike him, since he checks, double checks and triple checks his alarm clock every night. The checking of the alarm clock intensified after this particular incident.

23. He will eat anything and often enjoys eating foods less adventurous folks won't eat.

22. He is an autocross champion, and has the jacket to prove it.

21. He remembers what I was wearing on the night we met, but doesn't remember a thing about our first date.

20. He loves it when I get angry, but not too angry.

19. He has an absurd sense of smell. He smells everything and is always remarking on things he smells, including my breath.

18. Which leads me to: When particularly inebriated, he enjoys going on "walkabout," because it's dark, cold, and fresh outside. He likes the way the cold night air smells.

17. When he gets a bill, he pays it immediately. He has excellent credit.

16. As a third grader, he once chipped a large portion of his front tooth while riding a skateboard downhill on his knees. If you look closely you can tell where the dentist patched a fake tooth on.

15. He likes cats. A lot.

14. His family has been shrinking over the last few years. He lost his mom in 06 and his grandmother in 08. It's been a rough road.

13. He buys shoes and clothing in bulk. A couple years ago he found a pair he liked, and ever since he's been buying them three pairs at a time and slowly using them as he wears them out. This weekend he ordered four pairs of his favorite jeans online.

12. He's been known to create his own electronic music, and it's actually quite good.

11. He's been told he should have entered the psychology field. He has an uncanny sense for what is really going on with people.

10. If he could do anything, he would be a race car driver or a musician.

9. He makes me laugh more than anyone I've ever met.

8. He has a deep capacity for caring for others. Once a friend of his, always a friend. He is the one who keeps in touch and puts in the work.

7. He is honest, but not brutally so.

6. He loves to have his face pet and his head scratched.

5. He has a deep hatred of doing dishes and particularly hates handwashing knives and wine glasses.

4. He's never been as slutty as he had the opportunity to be.

3. He's one of those guys who knows a lot about a lot, or at least a lot about certain things. He'd argue, but the truth is he knows a lot about cars, electronics, computers, and music.

2. Traffic makes him furious.

1. He once dressed up as The Falconer (from SNL) for Halloween, and since we couldn't find a fake falcon, he carried around a fake rooster until, late at night, he burned it in a friend's outdoor fireplace, along with a poisonous amount of DJ fog juice. The incident is still legendary among our friends and now known as "The Burning of the Cock."

P.S. My husband commented on this entry with a few corrections (which I have made) and comments (aka Thanks for letting everyone know how disgusting I am), and then I promptly deleted his comment, in the spirit of complete contrariness.