In the name of ANYTHING that’s holy- what is that thing?? #1 looks like a Tim Burton reject for an animated film (the colors are too cheerful).

#2= I’m going with a steroid laden chicken.

#3- Purple armadillo, pre-squash.

#4- Please, does anyone else see a pink pig?? I swear, I don’t drink!! (is that a little umbilical cord on its tummy? hurl)

#5- Demented monkey eyeing the pallet of bananas. From the flotsam and jetsam on the counter someone actually bought it and took it home. That’s the biggest WHY of the day.

#6- Gator, post-squash. Looks like radials to me and must’ve been a semi if it wasn’t a baby.

#7- Trojan horse. It comes in the guise of a serving-friendly CCC (patooey) yet makes an insane icing mess when it’s pulled apart (does it scream when you yank off its limbs & face? Shudder) I think it's giving me the stink eye.

Sorry, J & J, it's too cruel to save these monstrosities. We should let them gently expire and mourn their passing in quiet reflection.

LOL love the "save the children" spoof. those cakes did look so.sad. The happy baby devil really freaked me out. Or is it a pig in mud? (PINK, wreckerator, not Red. had to be a guy. they're color clueless.)

wv: surcepu: The question on every toddler's mind about the gastro-intestinal mysteries. What IS the surcepu?

When I saw the one with the "Yellow Cake" sticker, I read it as "Pastel Armadillo," and I thought that sounded really descriptive. And then I realized it was the Spanish translation of "yellow cake," pastel amarillo. That's much different. Nevermind.

While these cakes do look like they need to be put out of their misery with a sympathy purchase, shouldn't we instead "vote with our $" and NOT buy them--for if we continue to line the coffers of these bakers' pockets when they put out these horrid pathetic creations, they will think "it's okay, someone will buy it!" ;-)

I love the fact that we all misread "pastel amarillo" as "pastel armadillo." The idea that the wreckorator would make a pastel armadillo ON PURPOSE, and then proudly label it as such is so very plausible.

Ha ha! I've been reading your blog for ages but never commented before. But now I have to. The first two cakes' sad "faces" have upset me too much. As they don't really do cakes like that here (UK), I just had to eat an ordinary chocolate cake with no sad face in order to help.I'm glad I don't live in the States. I'd be rescuing poor cakes all the time!

Desperate times call for desperate measures....SO, I say we should all get together and do what the animal shelters do, when overcrowding is rampant, new offerings are coming in every day, and shelf space is at a premium: Hold an EVENT! Why not an Adoptathon? All cakes deemed romotely viable go for a small donation and signed form stating that whatever happens to them after they leave the store- we don't want to hear about it. OR, put together a Walk For The Cakes Festival~~this could be real fun for the kiddies: Everyone dresses in costumes and parades through town collecting specimens, singing For Those About to Rot (We Refute You).(PRIZES (!!!) for best costumes, and those who can refrain from throwing up.)The festivities conclude with the proper and respectful mass burials-at-sea, or toxic waste dumps. And fireworks.

Sendintheclowns idea is prime. We gather all the tiny surplus rescued dogs in California and send them to apartment dwellers in New York. Is there a comparable/parallel universe for surplus cakes? Norine

That yellow squished bird looks like the offspring of Big Bird and Gonzo. Me no likey :(

That shiny monkey thing is rather horrifying.

The squashed crocodile, though, is kinda cute.

And I hope that Diane got a divorce for her 21st. Unless he got her a wreck because she's such an ardent CW fan! Then he's clearly awesome :)

As for putting the cakes out of their misery, I'm with sending the clowns here… toxic waste dump. That much icing (ugh… seriously people, it's called "cake", and icing means the finishing), plus what is likely dreadful excuse for cake (given they can't get anything else right). Not edible. And definitely not purchasable! Except for the crocodile, had he not been a CCC.

Took a while of staring in horror at the red pig pile to figure out it was something porcine and not a flea or mite of some kind (blargh!). And my first thought on the last cake was "what a sad little stunted giraffe".

We'll stop making cupcake cakes when people stop asking for them. I seriously can't believe the lame cakes people order from me at Albertsons. So many people really have no idea what can be done with cake!

Somehow I think feeding any of those cakes to kids would cause nightmares lol. I know I will have horrid dreams of what looks to be a squashed red alien thing on top of a chocolate poo mountain. Scarred for life lol.

I just have to point out on the first cake: In the "display" Tinkerbell is flying and happy... In the "realist" cake... she looks depressed... laying down, arms crossed. Dear lord, even the plastic figurine is disappointed in the decorators!!

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.