nothing in here is true

Monday, September 25, 2006

i shoulda stayed in canada and i should be in montreal right now but i was having two silly problems. one is my cell phone didnt work in the great white north. the other was my interweb wasnt realy working up there neither and i am on this trip partially for work, and i have to be a responsible editor, and blogger. while drunk drugged and dopey.

ok so where did we leave off? i slept on pitt’s cot and dreampt about my girl in africa. it was nice to catch up with her. pitt and i drove to see some strippers slash soccer moms and that was followed by karaoke with raymi and pretty much all the cool bloggers of Toronto minus a few…. PAIGE, CHRISTIE

we drank and sang and there was a white girl who freestyled to the beasties, there was raymi who dominated, pitt dominated, i dominated Thunder Road, i got to meet courtney and carrie and radmad, and sweaty hermit, and ber, and ettienes xbf, and i know im forgetting lots of people forgive me i was wasted and each chick was only hotter than the next. it was crazy. jeremy said its the air.

so then radmad said lets have the afterparty at my house whooo, so we took cabs to The Beaches where immediately the home karoake was rocked. at 4:30am her neighbors had had enough and came down and said the f word and the karoake went away but the canadian club came out as did some illicitness. and boobies. lots of boobies were shown. canadian boobies are pretty nice, people. gotta say. tried to spend the night with some of those boobies but i was denied. my mojo has clearly been borrowed by the chicago bears, a deal im willing to accept.

although earlier in the night at the karaoke a beautiful girl said omg tony pierce and then pulled down her pants for me so i could see her bush. yes canada that is the way to greet me. thank you. remember that america cuz im in buffalo now heading to boston.

two and half hours after falling asleep radmads neighbors put a stereo next to her window and cranked the red hot chili peppers and played the piano loudly. she laughed they laughed but me and chad didnt laugh. we wanted to die. then we had breakfast with them. then we took the trolly to raymis hoooose to collect my car. then we drove to somewhere to watch football with jeremy. then we ordered pizza. then we drank beer. then i took a shower. the whole time i was sleepy as fuck. then i called ber and it was raining. and i got lost getting back to toronto to meet her at the green door. i was all turned around. then we ate and drank on those great couches and we exchanged dirty conversations. but shes in love with a new boy too.

notice a pattern? at first i was getting very depressed that all these women were all, oh id love to show you my boobies but i have a bf or i just got a bf but last night i was on the phone and this girl who i will meet later on this trip said, you are just the angel of good luck tony. all these nice people who you like are getting into great relationships Because of you. is it so bad that youre going without if they are getting what they want? and i guess shes right. but if she gets a boyfriend two days before i get to her town im gonna jump off a cliff.

so after dinner and drinks with ber i dropped her off at her mans house and got lost leaving toronto and chalked it up to fatigue and drove to buffalo which is suprisingly close to TO and smiled at a girl at the Tim Hortons and she smiled back and i said when are you getting off and she said im sick i said i dont care she said i dont either and i said when are you getting off and she said 4am and i said yikes. so i gave her the busblogs web address and hi girl from tim hortons. who knew they had them in the usa? fuckers gonna invade us.

after that little flirtation i got a second wind and drove east. got the nice phone call. the roads started becoming toll roads and that was annoying so here i am near the Six Flags outside of buffalo and i wanted to write and work all night last night but as soon as i got in the bed i started nodding off. but i did put pictures up and i slept well and im now stoked to drive to boston. and im tripley stoked that the bears are 3-0.

what i will do now is shower and eat and drive a few hours and pull over and work for a few hours and make it into boston in the wee hours probably so remember the alamo.