It's a hot day, and the young man's thoughts turn to ceaseless copulation with every piece of exposed toned flesh in Bath City.

Instead, I huddle inside. And write an e-mail to what seems like the entire videogame industry.

I share, in the spirit of disclosure.

*****

In my four and a half years on PC Gamer, I’ve been the recipient of God knows how many leaving e-mails from assorted bodies in the industry, all expressing various good feelings about the joy they’ve felt during their time serving in the games-trenches.

Since I’m leaving GAMER today, it’s my turn. However, with me things are a little different.

I’ve hated every single second.

Hacking my way through rubbish videogames? Sitting through terrible presentations, fake smile stretching my mouth until the skin starts to split? Having to pretend to like people who in any sane world I’d be kicking up and down the street while insulting their entire family history? No thank-you! Goodbye losers! I hope you die in pain, alone, in an alleyway in the belly of a feral hound! In my new “thing” as a freelance games journalist I’m never going to see any of your ugly faces ag…

Oh My God.

What have I done? What was I thinking? Come back! I love you really. I was joking.

No, really. Would I lie to you?

(Don’t answer that, assorted PR bods.)

Yeah, I’m off to do writing at home, as I’m tired of working in an office for now and fancy getting a suntan for the first time in a decade. I’ll be mainly concentrating on videogames, but with a splash more of the other assorted writings I’ve always done but kept relatively quiet*. A tad more journalism. A tad more creative stuff**. A tad more sleeping.

Don’t worry: I’m not threatening to do something stupid like write a novel.

For the Bath based people, I’ll be in the Garricks having a few diet cokes. And since most the magazine is actually off on holiday, I’ll be doing it “properly” on Friday at the good lads Stephen Pierce and Sam Richards’ “Go Pagan” club night at the common rooms. Go see ‘em drop their Elektroclash science.

You want to contact me***, you can find me on any of the following.

(Snip. Sorry - no way I'm posting my mobile number on the electric internet. – Ed)

Alternatively, in the gutter begging for change.

Putting aside the mask of cynicism, I’ll say that it’s been a genuine pleasure working on GAMER and all of you have been a part of that. And then I’ll remove /that/ mask of sentimentality to reveal the true layer of inner cynicism, flick a V to all concerned and run off into the sunset****.

See you around, peeps. It’s been a giggle.

Now: Let’s see how many of these e-mails bounce.

Kieron Gillen,
Deputy Editor (R.I.P.)
PC GAMER

*Except for the deeply self-indulgent updates on my blog (gillen.blogspot.com).
**Those who know I’ve been trying to write comics will hopefully be pleased to hear I’ve just sold my first script. Yay Team Picture Stories!
***Perhaps about giving me money. I’m the world’s cheapest award-winning writer, y’know.
****Tripping over several times, spilling innumerable drinks and swearing intermittently.