From Dreaming To Living

Day 11: Test-anxiety (Part 1)

This is my fifth term at the university and I’ve still not been able to effectively remove the test-anxiety I experience at the end of each semester when the final test is being held. Every time I become nervous, and filled with anxiety – and what I tend to do is that I stress-read, and simply overdo my studies to the extent where I study for up to 10 hours on a day – and then afterwards I am totally exhausted – because I’ve gone into my studying so intensively that I’ve not considered my human physical body, or myself for that matter – only studying for the upcoming test have existed within me.

This time around I’d like to change this point – and also make sure that I don’t experience anxiety as I am doing the test – because that anxiety greatly inhibits my ability to write the test effectively – so it would be awesome to go to my test, and write the test being completely calm, and relaxed.

Thus the first point that I will walk here in this blog is to locate all the particular fears that I have in relation to my studies – that come through has backchat, and thoughts – and have my loose my concentration and instead get caught in anxiety, and fear.

I fear that I won’t get a good job after I’m done with studies – unless I get the best grade

I fear that I will regret myself – and feel that I do everything I could – if I don’t get the best grade on my test – and I haven’t been running around spending all my time on studying for my test

I fear that I won’t get as much done unless I use stress a way to motivate myself

I fear that my parents will be dissatisfied with me unless I get the best grade

I fear that I will become dissatisfied with myself if I don’t get the best grade

I fear feeling useless, and worthless if I don’t get the best grade

I fear that I won’t be the best – but that there will be others that receive better grades than me

I fear that I will forget everything while doing the test

I fear that there will come a extremely difficult question on the test, and because of that I will fail the test

I fear that I will forget to prepare for everything in relation to the test – and thus not be able to do the test effectively

I fear that I will simply fail on my test without understanding why – regardless of much I study – that I’ll simply not be able to walk my studies effectively enough

I fear that I am not intelligent enough to be able to learn all the information before the test

I fear that I will prepare myself wrong – and then not understand the test as I get it into my hands

I fear that I won’t have as many opportunities in my future unless I get the best grade – because everyone will consider, and see me as someone that “didn’t get the best grades”

I fear becoming ridiculed, and laughed at by others as being stupid, and not being able to get a good grade

I fear that there is not enough time for me to prepare myself effectively, and that I will accordingly come unprepared to the test

I fear that my mother will say to me that I could’ve done better

I fear that my family will not be happy with me – as they are when I receive a good grade on my tests

I fear relaxing, and breathing when I study – in fear that if I don’t use fear to study – that I will then not move myself as effectively, and fast – and thus be compromised

In my next blog I will begin to walk through this list point by point – and apply self-forgiveness, and self-commitment statements – and I will be done with the list in time for my test – so then I will be able to see whether my preparation