Irrfan Khan on coping with cancer: Fear and panic should not overrule me and make me miserable

A few months ago, Irrfan Khan revealed that he has been diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer. His illness came as a shock for his fans but the shock wasn’t limited to just his fans, this episode has been quite “different” for Irrfan as well.

Irrfan’s peers and colleagues have all respected his privacy and have not divulged details about his treatment and even Irrfan has not interacted with the media since his diagnosis. He has now spoken about his illness and described his turmoil to The Times of India.

“It’s been quite some time now since I have been diagnosed with a high-grade neuroendocrine cancer. This new name in my vocabulary, I got to know, was rare, and due to fewer study cases, and less information comparatively, the unpredictability of the treatment was more. I was part of a trial-and-error game,” said Irrfan.

He continued, “In this chaos, shocked, afraid and in panic, while on one of the terrifying hospital visits, I blabber to my son, ‘The only thing I expect from ME is not to face this crisis in this present state. I desperately need my feet. Fear and panic should not overrule me and make me miserable.’ That was my INTENTION. AND THEN PAIN HIT.”

“As I was entering the hospital, drained, exhausted, listless, I hardly realised my hospital was on the opposite side of Lord’s, the stadium. The Mecca of my childhood dream. Amidst the pain, I saw a poster of a smiling Vivian Richards. Nothing happened, as if that world didn’t ever belong to me. I was left with this immense effect of the enormous power and intelligence of the cosmos. The peculiarity of MY hospital’s location – it HIT me. The only thing certain was the uncertainty. All I could do was to realise my strength and play my game better,” Irrfan told TOI.

Irrfan also revealed that this realisation has made him ‘submit, surrender and trust, irrespective of the outcome.’ He also added that his concerns have taken a backseat and he now knows what freedom truly means.