Posted Oct 28, 2014

There as many perfect activities for couples as there are couples in the first place. And of course a couple may want something different any time they get together. So don’t think that skiing is the only thing to do in winter, spending a day at the beach is the only thing to do in the summer, or that dressing up to hit a crazy costume party is the only thing to do for Halloween.

It is fun to dress up with your date as Dracula and Bride of Dracula, have a couple of Bloody Marys, take in the other costumes, and get weird. But there is another activity that couples on SeekingArrangement.com and other dating sites really enjoy because it takes the stress out of All Hallow’s Eve: watching scary stuff on TV.

Television news, for example, is usually very low-stress.

Think about it: Where do most murders, hauntings, kidnappings, etc. happen? In the home. So staying home and catching one of these five spooky shows actually is scarier than going out to a party or even a scary movie!

Point your DVR at one of these horripilating programs, and make sure that your microwave popcorn isn’t possessed by the ghost of Orville Redenbacher:

1. The Walking Dead

What it is: Really the king of horror shows, The Walking Dead is a favorite among zombie aficionados and apocalypse dystopia fans of all stripes. A group of survivors tries to keep intact both their sanity and what little civilization remains in a world full of shambling horrors that want to recruit new members by biting off chunks of their flesh.

Why it’s scary:The Walking Dead isn’t scary just because of its undead monsters (the show’s zombie effects are the best on TV or in any movie), but because of the claustrophobic feeling that viewers get watching the group of survivors get whittled away, one by one.

Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date:Boo! The sheriff almost got his face eaten! She jumps into your arms or he puts a comforting arm around your shoulder every time something comes screaming through the woods. You get to comfort each other and cuddle closer. Halloween WIN.

“Did I say cuddle? I meant run in opposite directions really fast!”

2. American Horror Story

What it is:American Horror Story is an anthology series featuring many of the same actors playing different characters from season to season. The first was “Murder House,” a crazy quilt of supernatural scares and ominous weirdness. Season 2, which many think was the best so far, was “Asylum,” a genuinely frightening story with more twists than an M. Night Shyamalan film festival. Season 3 was the campy “Coven,” and the current Season 4 is “Freak Show,” which so far has lived up to its name. Fuh-reaky.

Why it’s scary: Each season (the first three of which are available on Netflix) has its own thrills and scares, but there is a creepiness factor to every episode that is seriously unsettling. “Coven” sometimes seemed to wink at the audience, making it less effective, but all of the other seasons leave you wanting to take a shower. During the day. With an armed guard posted outside.

Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: There are plenty of jump-into-the-air scares to be had. More than that, the disturbing sexual and/or violent creepiness of just about every character in every episode will make those little kinky requests you make in the bedroom seem absolutely normal in comparison.

It’s hard to decide what part of this picture is the most disturbing.

3. Supernatural

What it is: In its tenth season, Brothers Sam and Dean continue to roam the country, hunting evil supernatural creatures, mostly demons, while cracking wise and generally being adorable. (This show is on The CW, after all, so hotness of all characters good or evil rules the day.)

Why it’s scary: Supernatural isn’t scary like The Walking Dead or American Horror Story. It’s more like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Charmed: Witty and fun, but with moments of really freaky terror. This show does a better job than Ghost Hunters at suggesting there is another, far less sane or friendly layer of reality that wants to come into ours.

“Honey, the box is stuck on channel pi again!”

Why you should watch it with your date: Hot, hot actors, male and female alike, doing heroic things. If that doesn’t get your partner’s motor running, check for a pulse.

4. Sleepy Hollow

What it is: To be honest, I thought Sleepy Hollow was going to be as lame as a one-legged duck, but in fact it has turned into a big hit, and for good reason: It is absolutely insane. It’s the story of Ichabod Crane, a very attractive soldier who has been resurrected 230 years after he fought this Headless Horseman fellow. His resurrection also brings back H.H., and the game is afoot. The combination of creepy special effects and Ichabod’s attempts to fit into the modern world isn’t just jarring but also just hilarious. The banter between Ichabod and his sassy police detective sidekick is razor sharp.

Why it’s scary: The Headless Horseman is just plain frightening. He was terrifying in old movies where it was obviously a guy with a tall collar and coat over his real head, but he’s even freakier with the way he can be portrayed in movies and TV today. Not only that, but real lives are often at stake because of the occult proclivities of their various supernatural antagonists. Spooky and fun.

Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: Who doesn’t like a laugh with their screams? More romantically, the setting is always blustery and menacing, which will put both of you in a mood that might lead to a little skulking around in a dark house on the way to the bedroom after you turn off the television.

“Honey, seriously, this is freaking me out!”

5. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

(Note: This article was written just before the whole thing with the convicted molester and the subsequent immediate cancellation of the series. Maybe we should be thankful for small mercies.)

What it is: The Onion A.V. Club called this show a “horror story posing as a reality television program,” and it’s hard to disagree. This family’s adventures are more apocalyptic than The Walking Dead, more full of freaks than American Horror Story, more contrary to normal people’s reality than Supernatural, and make you wish that the entire family was headless rather than just the one guy on Sleepy Hollow. It’s the story of child pageant contestant “Honey Boo Boo” and her overweight American nightmare of a Deep South family.

Why it’s scary: This rural Georgia family includes a mother called “Mama June,” a morbidly obese woman who talks about her “neck crust”; her common-law husband, “Sugar Bear,” who is unrelated to the children other than Honey Boo Boo; and three other daughters nicknamed “Pumpkin,” “Chubbs,” and “Chickadee,” one of whom gave birth out of wedlock on the first-season finale. Also it has “Boo” not once but twice in its title. Lots and lots of “Boo.”

Boo, yes.Book, not so much.

Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: You know what? Sometimes it’s fun to turn the TV off and go to a party and hang out with people who aren’t Type II diabetic and talk like a tire being dragged through mud. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will instantly make the whole rest of the world, including you and your date, seem much, much more intelligent and sexier.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It’s fun!

No matter what a couple chooses to do on Halloween, whether it’s weaving your way through a haunted haybale maze or attending a midnight masquerade ball, make sure you set the DVR for something a little chilling to watch when you get back. Remember: When faced with a frightening situation, you always want to stick together and stay close. How you do that is for you decide!

“I was hoping SA would provide a feature to simply not show individual participants – I would pay $20/month”

Why not hire a SB to write a program to filter messages for you. This way you can avoid reading me messages and help a young woman in need!

Laineysays:

Soooo whats up with SDs dropping off after I refuse to host? Like my beautiful abode is not an “incall”. I don’t even KNOW You!

I’m assuming girls are really doing first meets at their home and giving up the cakes. Especially the way these SDs are acting so entitled.

I understand not wanting a hotel if you’re married but I’ve been a mistress the great majority of my adult life and I know where to dine, catch some entertainment and romp around without discretion being an issue. I was a mistress of a televised preacher for christ’s sake. Sometimes men just need to let me take the wheel. I mean I’m submissive but dammit when I tell ya “I know what I’m doing”, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!

“Honestly, if a guy is THAT wealthy, he won’t be on here.”

Not true Sexy, they ARE here!

Jjsays:

@Sexy …”Sorry boo boo…” !!! Sweet!!!!

SexyRockstarsays:

There are men on here who are sick in the head, who want cyber chat and collects pictures. He for sure doesn’t make that much money and the only reason why his inbox is full like that is because he is lying about his income. Move on girly, you’ll be just fine.

Just say
“exactly, you’re coming off as a regular boyfriend to me…always wanting and never giving. best of luck to you”

done and done

Rebeccasays:

Been talking to a guy who lists 100 million. He is all the way in the UK, so the chances of us meeting is already low. We have literally exchanged 5 texts at this point. He immediately texts me screen caps of tons of messages he received from women on SA (on whatsapp). He says he is currently chatting to “325” girls. Wtf?! Why is he telling me this? I told him it is clear he does not need to be talking to me then, since it is obvious he has his hands full. He then says that I am being “defensive” and I shouldn’t be upset. ??
He says I shouldn’t worry because those are “regular girlfriends” and regular girlfriends to him are clingy and drama. He said I shouldn’t get upset by that because we’d just be an arrangement and that is what he wants.

What an odd ball. He needs to stop collecting numbers and focus on the 300 girls he already has on rotation.

I mentioned one of the girls he is texting looks …special and he says, “She is bad looking, but has some special talents.” LOL

SexyRockstarsays:

and at the end of the day…doesn’t matter how much money you make, it’s still expensive. I make 60K a year. But, I get my hair done ever 5 weeks, plus all my hair product. Guess what? It’s expensive. Just cut him off. Go find another rich cutie and bang him. You’ll be much happier. Save your sugar money and take your best friend to Spain. That will be wwwaaayyyyy more fun anyway.

SexyRockstarsays:

@Reb

at the end of the day…if it sounds too good to be true, then it is. We all had mentioned it seemed odd he would be willing to fly you out to Spain. Lesson learned. It’s a hit to the ego, but move on then. If it’s been that long, then tell him goodbye. You could be out and about meeting someone worth the time then

And we have the logical conclusion of the Spain trip chit chat.

And when SBs throw big numbers around, SDs like to see their photos to assess their hotness level. 😉

Rebeccasays:

Not playing by his rules when I am the one traveling to him. Not interested in being strung along. He and I have easily talked for over 6 hours, not including texts. At this point, we have talked for a month, all talk, no action. He knows me well enough to know I am not flaking out. It’s not going to be insanely expensive if he truly makes over 1 million a year. My last SD spent over 5k on me and he lived in NYC. It was all for one date. Now that is expensive. I’ll be in Spain for 6 days. He is getting it cheap.

SexyRockstarsays:

A trip to Spain is really really expensive. He is proablly making sure you don’t flake out. Unless he is asking for naked pictures or some shit, no offense girlfriend, don’t be rude to him. You want to go to Spain? Play by his rules…and afford your own way there and make him pay pal you.

Rockstar… We video skyped last week for 2.5 hours in one sitting. Before that, our phone conversations were 2 hours long, multiple times.

SexyRockstarsays:

@Rebecca

Why the hell would you not Skype with him first? That to me, sounds stupid as hell. Like, how dare he offer to grant you this trip WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING YOU and you sat there and demand he pay for your ticket first.

Lets flip this on the other side. He might of wanted to see if you were really who you say you were. And why are you demanding he pay for your ticket first? Why didn’t you take my advice? Now he knows your real name. You’re a smart one.

Sorry dear, no offense, but you are not being safe AT ALL. You should of paid for your ticket, make him reimburse you via pay pal or some shit. Pay pal is free and takes like 2 minuets to set up. If you can’t afford one way on your own, then you shouldn’t be dumb enough to go alone by yourself anyway. What if he is a huge creep and tries killing you? How are you going to get home? This way, if he does flake out on our ticket, you can cancel and get your money back.

Rebeccasays:

Lainey: the rich guy was pretty messed up. He was only seeking girls who would bring drama and abuse him. Not my cup of tea.

Concerning Spain, he wanted to Skype the other day, but I told him no, not until he buys me the ticket.
He bought himself the flight to India for his spur of the moment meetings, but not for my planned trip? Hmm..
In response, he simply said, “Oh… I see.” Haven’t heard anything since and I am not reaching out.

For example, an SB off the street may inflate her expectations very easily when she finds out that the guy is worth 100 million. She could be tempted to dream for the $50 million payday.

But the expectation criteria pretty much tops at around $10,000 per month here.

SexyRockstarsays:

Honestly, if a guy is THAT wealthy, he won’t be on here. He will be with a group of men who already have sugar babies…and they will ask their babies if they have young hot friends for him. He will be at events, meetings, where women will be everywhere.

I’ve met two unicorns that were able to really spoil the shit out of me…but I used that money to be able to get everything I need to teach guitar full time and really work on my comedy. They are no longer on SA.

Agree, this can happen on SA too, but the risk is a little smaller, at least
accoording to my (ex) SDs.
Meetings with SA members tend to be more straightforward and to the point.

Unfortunally this is also the group that gets ignored a bit by SA in their chase for quantity vs quality….
But some are still here!

sexyrockstarsays:

I turned them down. We exchanged phone numbers, traded pictures. I didn’t really think she was pretty….nor was he attractive. He had sent me a message on another profile saying he would like to get coffee and his sb said no only because she thinks I’m prettier.

@midwest, I can post my id on here if youd like. I haven’t gotten any emails yet.

Lets do this. We can report back to the log about our escapades. I think it would be a welcome break from the crazy posts on here. Whatever happened to jacob and his baby farm idea?

Kirstensays:

@MidwestSugar Daddy – I just sent you an email with SexyRockStar’s info. Thanks!

Laineysays:

I love how the moderator keeps deleting my very relevant posts but continues to let people mention me and talk to me however they please. Bravo. Keep up the biased work. Wonder how many times @SugarSpicey emailed you today

Laineysays:

I’ve played with one couple. Wife was super cute. I’m a fan of boobs but have never been “hungry” if you get my drift. Lol

Rebeccasays:

I keep getting couples messaging me. 1) I am not bisexual 2) The wives tend to be my mom’s age and even if I was bisexual, I wouldn’t be able to get that out of my head.
Plus, I imagine jealously and lack of allowance in that situation.

SexyRockstarsays:

omg guys. I just received a message from a couple. SB around my age and an SD about 40. They want to add more fun…and I look like the type. I’ve had a 3 sum when drunk…but not a sugar way. UUuuumm……help. Any of you guys got another SB to join in on the fun..how did that work out and how did your SB feel?

SexyRockstarsays:

I also don’t send naked pictures to anyone I haven’t met yet. I have no problem sharing naked pictures with them once we are together, ya know? But until then, my naked body stays off the camera/internet.

SexyRockstarsays:

That’s why I no longer have private pictures. Plus, I would never put anything super slutty of me on the internet.

flyRsays:

@Exotic-VA —— If you have ever jiggled by a group of college males who have consumed too much beer you have probably heard the cry “show us your tits”. Blind requests for private photos are the digital equivalent.

Sexy Rockstar nailed it. I’m shopping for her guitar

ExoticVA-SBsays:

Collect pictures? Is that what they do nowadays? Doesn’t that take up a lot of space… LOL

@SexyRockstar I live in Europe and unfortunately there are not many SD’s in the country where I live. I have been approached by men that live countries surrounding the country that I currently reside in though. In Europe it’s fairly easy to go from country to country so for me it isn’t an issue. But good advice, they need to put in some work haha

I need my hair done. Take me. Thank you <3 OOohhh, can I get a new guitar too?

Then can we roll around in the sheets, please?

Joshsays:

“make them work for it girl.”

women logic?

SexyRockstarsays:

@Exotic

I never ever let anyone see my private pictures before they talk to me. If they do send you a request, see where they live. If they live a bit too far, send them a polite message:

“Hey! Thanks for stopping by and checking out my profile. Did look at yours, and you seem lovely But sadly, I am looking for someone who is a bit closer to me for some on going fun! Good Luck in your search”

There are men on here that just want to collect pictures of girls and arint really “Sugar Daddy Material”

If they do live close to you, send them a friendly message:

“Hey, thanks for stopping by 😉 ((check out their profile, pick something off that you can talk to them about)) –mention what they said in profile– I’d love to get to know you.”

Now, if they have NOTHING in their profile, say
“Hey there I checked out your profile since you stopped by and saw mine, but there isn’t much on there about you. Tell me something about you, lets see if we have anything in common and maybe we can get together and see if anything could work out between us.”
-if they are young and successful, congratulate them on being young and successful and how much you admire them
-if they are old and successful, say something how you’d love to have such a such job like they do, and want advice on how they did that.

BUT DON’T SHOW PRIVATE PICTURES BEFORE DOING ANY OF THIS. make them work for it girl. If they don’t reply, they are just there to collect pictures from girls and have no interest in meeting up.

Joshsays:

That said, the reason you feel sexism is because your SB sisters did not come to high five you yet on your $1000 payday. 😉

Joshsays:

@Afri

No sweetheart it’s not necessarily “sexist shit” per se. It’s just the timing. There was a time when dinosaurs roamed the earth, SBs controlled this blog, and SDs only peeped when spoken to (except of course the SDs who had the “women logic” down pat).

The blog currently is fairly balanced and interesting. So I wouldn’t mind the idiot(s) who may be bugging you. LOL!

afrisays:

hmm I wonder why when I woman talks about her experience or expectation men on here sometimes attack her like everything she is saying is invalid but when men speak about theirs it holds more weight…..typical sexist shit

Joshsays:

@SugarBabyGuru

“Lainey – you are beyond reproach, boring, boorish, and incapable of reason, compassion, or basic human understanding – so why must you boar us with your presence? Your participation in this community is unnecessary and you add no value; you also misread everything that is written so trying to explain your mistaken logic and mis-compehension is a waste of free WiFi. You’ve also been banned, so take a hint.”

“If you would not be intimate with him without sugar, guess what sugarplum. You’re an escort. You just use a different marketing strategy.”

Interesting observation indeed!

I am sure that one specific SD will introduce some “woman logic” to that. 😉

Laineysays:

Sure @SugarSpicey is drafting an email as we speak requesting that I’m banned. Laughable. I’ve helped plenty Sugarbabies. Every one of them that have posted their ID for edits had thanked me for my advice. I just clash with you old entitled delusional types.

Laineysays:

Also I haven’t gotten into a spat in over a week not until yesterday when I was harsh with exotic and apologized but my spat was NOT with HER it happened to be with the granny brigade who decided to comment well after my apology and toned down explanation. You old hags like drama but are to delusional to admit it to yourselves

Laineysays:

@SugarSpicey for someone who has such a WONDERFUL life you sure do sit on the blog all day sounding like a bitter old troll. The point I made is VALID. If you settle and accept compensation as an alternative to whatever attributes you usually seek you’re a, what was the term you used? Oh yea, that’s right, C*mdumpster! Don’t see how that’s illogical but then again you use “women’s logic” so I’m certain we will never agree

SugarBabyGurusays:

Lainey – you are beyond reproach, boring, boorish, and incapable of reason, compassion, or basic human understanding – so why must you boar us with your presence? Your participation in this community is unnecessary and you add no value; you also misread everything that is written so trying to explain your mistaken logic and mis-compehension is a waste of free WiFi. You’ve also been banned, so take a hint.

@Petite aww back to being cutesie good it suits you. Now stay in your place. Don’t come for me and I won’t address you

Petitesays:

@Lainey
Lol, I think if I grew a pair, I would be considerably less desirable to my target audience 😛

Laineysays:

@Petite btw I must commend you for being completely passive as to look like all roses and sunshine to the SDs regarding the VERY misogynistic but TRUE things said today yet jump on me for pointing out others for degrading women that ARE their EQUAL. Cute act.” Let’s start shit with the one who others regard as abrasive so that when my claws do come out I won’t lose my blog rep as the sweet peacemaker”. Child boo. Grow a pair. Sorry, not sorry

Laineysays:

@petite first take note that i don’t care what you’re sick off. Secondly, I think my earlier post got deleted that said “if you settle for a man below your usual standard for higher compensation.” Then sorry Hun you might as well be on BP. If you would not be intimate with him without sugar, guess what sugarplum. You’re an escort. You just use a different marketing strategy.

LadyScarlettsays:

@42…Yes, because western and Eastern Europe all speak the same language with the same political views/agendas and same president, just like the whole of US 😉 I don’t think it was meant that the only real part of Europe was Western Europe but that things can be very different, in the eastern part. It can be a very difficult life in Ukraine compared to Britain or Denmark. Whereas, in California, Wisconsin and North Carolina, all three states in US are still considered a big resort by some of those living, in certain parts of eastern Europe.

Petitesays:

@Lainey,
I have no problem with escorts. In fact, I wish prostitution (not trafficking or economically-coerced) was legal.
But let’s get one thing straight: not all SBs are willing to have sex with just anyone. And not all SBs are looking for a purely sexual relationship.
Speaking only for myself, I have had four sexual partners and two of them were sugar relationships. I have no moral qualms with having sex with money involved. I’ve always dated older, have limited time, and the sugar aspect adds a certain amount of kink that I find incredibly arousing.

I’m getting increasingly tired of your misogynistic tirades.

Petitesays:

@Jj
Lol yay! I have a fan club of one person :D.
I don’t know what to do with all this sudden power…. 😛

As for the rest of this heated conversation,
My problem with the whole $1000/10 visits thing is the assumption that a woman has that much free time to spare. ESPECIALLY one with a child. I mean, I’m single without kids, I work in the ent. industry (which is sporadic), and have a pretty minimal social life (I’m an outgoing introvert); but I still don’t have 10 nights in a month that I would be free for an SD. If I had that kind of time/energy, I would probably have a boyfriend and forgo the sugar. The practicality for my lifestyle is what makes a sugar relationship extra nice for me.

Maybe my experience is not in the norm, but the two SDs I’ve met with IRL were more generous than I expected/asked. (Not this 10k/month business I see being talked about a lot– I’m not a model and that amount would make me feel uncomfortable.) I don’t know whether to attribute this to my screening process, my profile, my attitude, my “look”, or any combination of the above; but regardless, I don’t think there’s any point in feeling like you settled. This goes for both the guys and the gals.

I think there’s something to be said in treating the other person like a PERSON. Guys, that means not talking down to SBs like “cum-dumpsters” who are only good for one thing. Gals, that means not talking down to SDs like they’re glorified ATMs who are only good for one thing.
We’re all here for a reason and it’s probably very different from person to person. Let’s stop judging each other and instead help each other find what we are looking for.

How about “nice ass”?

Joshsays:

@afri

“@josh….pick whether you want to be nice or an ass….cant be both.”

😉

afrisays:

@ Midwestsugardaddy and there are too many gross old SDs who think its no big deal for a SB to be seen with them in public and actually be intimate with them……if you are young and attractive yes I understand why you would say that, but if you’re a gout ridden old out of shape man who is 48 but looks 64….NO

SugarBabyGurusays:

Congrats Rockstar! How was Alice Cooper?

SugarBabyGurusays:

When did not wanting to be treated (and paid) like a Backpage special become demanding a $10K allowance? I get called PriceySpicey and even I have never said that I expect $10K, only that I will not tolerate being treated like a bargain bin cumdumpster. That isn’t just about $$, it is about how I expect to be treated as a human!

sexyrockstarsays:

@midwestsd
I’m twenty five, I’ll rock the shit out of your world. Trust me. If you’re near Chicago, let me know. If you’re half as good as you claim to be, id be more then happy to let everyone know how well you did 😉

@everyone else
Sorry I’ve been MIA. Working so much, had two auditions and plus doing some tv stuff. I also just landed a three day gig in vegas in December. I miss you all!!!

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@flyR The product is getting diluted on SA. Too many sugar babies with unrealistic expectations are on the site now.

The math doesn’t add up. There were only 235,000 households that made over $ 1 million in income per year. After taxes, that is the only real group that can afford the unicorn $10,000 per month that all the blog sugar babies salivate over all the time. If half a percent of these guys are on here, that would be less than 1,200 potential sugar daddies.

SA lists 3.6 million members. Good luck finding the multimillionaires. You better be an 11 out of ten. Lol

flyRsays:

“”Any SD who educates himself with the “market rate” and stays within those “market rates” regardless of how desirable he finds an SB, how genuinely she is negotiating her life challenges, and how easily he can ease her struggle, is out there as well…””””

I hear a lot of brokers talking about the need to meet the lowest rent quote.

My question is ” the decision maker just arrived in his 7 series bmw, wearing $300 jeans, $10,000 watch, having driven from his $3 mil home and you think all he is looking for is price?

One of the basic concepts of economics is that if you are offering an undifferentiated product with zero cost of production in a market with an excess of supply, the market price will eventually drop to zero.

Product differentiation is the essence of the creation of value in the presence of excess supply.

flyRsays:

Talking about hookers and escorts on the blog is like extolling the gas mileage of Yugos at a Ferrari Club meeting

42SWMsays:

SBG:
My point was relatively narrow. Elaine was essentially saying that Europe was Western Europe. Europe is far broader than that. Kind of like how the US is more than just the east and west coasts. As someone who lives in the Midwest, I couldn’t help but respond.

@Lainey’s recent posts have been erased.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Okay Lainey, clearly you’re in a trolly mood and looking to brawl. Not interestingly even. Yawn.

Joshsays:

“Any SB who educates herself with the “market rate” and rejects an otherwise decent SD because he did not meet or beat the “market rate”, is out there…

Any SD who educates himself with the “market rate” and stays within those “market rates” regardless of how desirable he finds an SB, how genuinely she is negotiating her life challenges, and how easily he can ease her struggle, is out there as well…”

~ Josh Guru

SugarBabyGurusays:

Lainey – why be mean for no reason? It wasn’t even funny or witty mean, just pointlessly mean.

SugarBabyGurusays:

42 – the point is, the economics of the price of professional pussy in Poland have no more to do with the expectations for allowance in Spain than the cost of a cheap thrill in Tijuana has to do with the allowance expectations of a college educated sugar baby in Beverly Hills.

42SWMsays:

Elaine:

Europe is more than western Europe. Countries like Poland full members of the EU and NATO. More to fun to live and visit in central/eastern Europe. The average Pole is far more upbeat about the future (despite what the Russians are doing) than the average Brit or Frenchman.

NONE of the SDs (except one-the same one missing from the venting session) believe you.

You may gain some believers if you shared your profile id and turn out to be a hottie. 😉

SouthernSBsays:

I have a dilemma, my SD has ED and no matter how much I and the pharmaceutical companies try I just can’t get that baby working. I want our relationship to be mutual but how can it be when all I am getting is the manual equivalent of a hitachi. The whole thing is starting to make me feel a little depressed. I want to be a good SB and I want my SD to be satisfied, but how can he be when the mind is on Venus but the body is stuck on Pluto. I feel like a failure.

afrisays:

and to answer your questions, no I didnt specify the amount to him so I guess thats my bad….we touched on it lightly one day when he asked about my shoes, they are fendi and were 1500. So its like yes I didnt specify but damn you should already know lol. But spelling it out worked I guess. And no I dont want to have an SD for hair and nails, then get another for something else. I would prefer to deal with one guy you know? Its true, one guy may thing splurging is 100-300$. But I am relieved

afrisays:

So i expressed my feelings to him the best non-combative way I could. He wrote me a long email apologizing and said he is new to this and he wasn’t sure what was good. we met up for lunch and he gave me $1000 and said now that he knows what I expect he will do better. He also said he enjoyed himself yada yada ….OMG I was expecting him to be an ass…im relieved

I hope my diamond stud comment did not cause them to withdraw it.

Elainesays:

But something else now, whatever happened to the new blogtopic about Diamond members???

Elainesays:

@sugar

Haha right, all those beauties from Ukraine take a relaxing busride (Oh wait, warzone…ah who cares!) Of 30 hours back and forth (sorry, no first class only coach!.. 😉 ) every now and then. Arrive at the German border with cheering police officers welcoming them because hey! Prostitution is legal here and come join the party! Eagerly f*ck some cheapo’s in Berlin, get back and relax for a month with the money they have made that one weekend of enjoyable work.

Who believes this is either ignorant, or makes himself believe to feel good about something he knows it isn’t….

I hope that you are enjoying the ride on your respective super breed high horses?

Would you like to get off by yourself or do you need a gentleman to help you out?

😉

SugarBabyGurusays:

Hey Elaine, Another-John gives himself awY. Let’s see, how many Europeans are going to travel 700 miles, by bu?

Anyone out there who has actually been to Europe care to weigh in the popularity of country-to-country “bus travel” in Europe? Now cargo trucks I would believe (it is the best way to transport human cargo).

I like the idea that somehow the sugar market is price sensitive to the cost of trafficked p*ssy in Moldova. Men can buy $8 p*ssy in Bangcoc. The world is your oyster John, and just a bus ride away, why limit your options?

I

LadyScarlettsays:

Also, is sad, but many families encourage their daughters into prostitution. Look up Brazil and the World Cup, and how many extremely young girls sold/sell their bodies to international visiting construction workers, or World Cup visitors for 50 cents. 50 freaking cents, how about that? And, you know what? many of these girls are as young as 10 or 11. Sick, and the reality is, if someone who has a broken moral compass, which are many, then they would turn a blind eye and not ask questions, on whether or not that 13 or 14 year old is legal or how she got there into prostitution. They don’t care. As others said, they turn a blind eye and dump their sperm. Do you think this is admirable or anything new that you have discovered this…the fact that you are bragging about it is sick, and asking SBs to compare their allowance rates to european brothels is crazy, since you apparently are a patron of the sleazier and cheaper brothels, anyways.

Don’t come here and compare brothels, in Eastern Europe, to SBs. It is another ball game and is not the marketing message SA wants out there, anyway.

Elainesays:

Ahhh…. you come here all the time?
Funny….I live her all the time!

You obviously are like all those sextourists that go to Asia to f*ck cheap whores, never giving a 2nd thought to their desperation and poverty…..
Only bragging how cheap it was.

Everybody LIVING in Europe knows about the situation in the countries you named, that really have as much in common with Western Europe as Peru with North America btw.

Those countries are deep and bitterly poor, a lot of young women are being lured to the West with promises of good paid maid jobs.
Once here their passports are taken from them, and they are forced into prostitution. I dare to say that at least 50 % of the prostitutes in my country are in this situation, and the clients prefer to not see it, because hey! they can dump their sperm at a bargain!

The prostitutes who are not trafficed into prostitution use up their youth to make their families back home survive.
Or try to escape their misery by marrying West European man that are too old or ugly to find a wife here.
There is complete catalogues of Ukrainian “brides” available on line.

So please go ahead and tell us again how great it is to f*ck those poor and desperate creatures…

Curious…if you’re not escort/brothel kinds guy, where are you picking up these Eastern European girls?

Or are you suggesting that your business trips are for price comparison purposes?

another_J_guysays:

I go there all the time. The only places that are really expensive in Europe are the London area, Norway, Switzerland, Moscow/Leningrad. Everywhere else, prices are no worse than the United States. For me, the big costs are lodging and transportation, and the key here is to know your way around and plan in advance. You can easily save 70% that way in many cases. If the company is paying, then they handle the costs, though of late I just get a flat per-diem and can keep whatever I can save of that. After next year, I’ll be on my own, but I plan to continue traveling there as a tourist each year.

What is really cheap in Europe is escorts. Just google prostitution in Germany if you don’t believe me and read what the mainstream press has to say. As with lodging and transportation, once you know your way around, you can get even better prices that what those news articles list.

Ukraine, et al ARE in Europe, according to my high-school geography, and Romania at least will eventually be in the EU. The women from those countries are what is driving the costs down, since the distance from Ukraine to Germany is not too great by bus. Same story elsewhere in Europe, though my only personal experience with brothels was in Germany. (A business associate brought me to some place in Berlin a couple of times a few years ago. As I’ve said before, I’m not really a escort/brothel guy, but I do keep tabs on the situation.)

And you are compairing brothel prices with Colombia or Mexico, because that is America, right?

Elainesays:

Ukraine/Moldova/Russia/Romania

Yep sure, that is Europe…

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Midwest SD agreed. Which is why a slightly older SB gets what she is needed for, and a younger SB, well she wants a BF with minimal effort and total perks and doesn’t quite get how the world works yet, hence her drama. Well some ladies have drama at any age, but you can hope that an older SB has a little bit more of her life together to put on a game face and pay along to get her bills paid.

I will be posting these as tips for the SB’s. Blog gods, please give out my email address to all who request it. I think some people want to see the goods!

another_J_guysays:

SA is not an escort site and I’m not an escort guy, and I only brought up the subject because it does relate to SA budgets. However, because a certain loud-mouth keeps spouting off misinformation on the subject of European brothels, I did a brief research. I’m not going to post the link here, because that is probably against SA rules, but bottom line is you can get a huge selection of beautiful women almost all of whom list rates of under 1000 Ukraine Hryvnia (UAH) per hour, which is about $74 currently. Some are a third that, or $25/hour. As with all these internet services, whether SA, match, or escort sites like the above, photos are often enhanced and otherwise misleading. But I can say for sure that sex workers in Germany, in general, are not bad-looking (unless you want bad-looking, and yes, some men want freaks). Are they abused sex slaves? Hardly. Ukraine/Moldova/Russia/Romania/etc all have a very low per capita GDP, which is not going to be improving anytime soon due to corruption plus competition from the rest of the world. A girl who turns a single trick a day at $74 and keeps half (or about $37) can have a better life than she would from working 8 hours/day in Kiev at the typical jobs open to young women with no skills (cleaning rooms at hotels, waitresses, cashiers).

Prices are higher in Germany, but not by much, since there is regular bus service from Kiev to Berlin and elsewhere in Germany. If a girl turn 5 tricks/day in Germany at earn say 40 euro/trick, with expenses of 40 euros/day, then they net about 160 euro/day. Work 30 days and they can easily live for a year back in a small town in Ukraine. Note that, when prices are low like they are in Germany, ordinary men use the brothels rather than just creepy losers, so turning 5 tricks/day might actually be pleasurable. Who has the highest sex drive and care more about quick f*ck than a deep emotional connection? Athletic young men. Who are the most sexually attractive johns to young women? Athletic young men.

BTW, this brings up a point that a lot of working Americans are clueless about. There is a tsunami of cheap labor out there that is gunning for American service industry jobs. Cheap labor has already stolen the American manufacturing jobs. Service jobs are harder to export, but not impossible. Anything that can be done over the computer can be exported. The human part of managing this SA website is done in Eastern Europe, if I’m not mistaken. And even things that have to be done in person are subject to competition if transport between countries is not too expensive. Busing in cheap sex workers to Germany is a fine example of this, as is the cheap dental work being done in Mexican/US border towns.

I’m not going to beat this dead horse any further. Do your own research about the worldwide sex marketplace. And yes, SA is part of that marketplace (not counting the delusional SB’s who want $10K/month for a platonic relationship) so the rates for escorts/brothels worldwide DO have an impact on what men will pay for SBs in the United States or Western Europe.

FatB'StardSAsays:

@MizUndaStood

I only meet women through the SA website so I must have received my infection from one of them!

MizUndaStoodsays:

Oh @FB, I get it. You sleep with the babies, blame your infection on them, they probably gave it to you from their x-box playing BF’s at the dorm, then you rescend their gift, I mean they don’t know a week of antibiotics costs <$30 anyways right? Cute.

@ FB Seriously??? Wow, what do you gift per meeting? I am sure it’s bareback. Is this in line with the “market rate” or will you at least pay a porn star premium?

MizUndaStoodsays:

@42SWM FRANK ADVICE? I haven’t heard any yet. I didn’t know I had posted anything that needed anyone’s help today. I was involved with the analysis and even said good debate. I can appreciate others perspectives, and I do have a sarcastic sense of humor, but I don’t think I have personally insulted anyone other than observing and calling out exaclty what they have shown. Now you are leading which is incorrect. I am not @Lainey so I have nothing to gain by calling names or putting people out from differing opinions.

Joshsays:

That was below the boobs FB.

Have a nice lay!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Fat Bastard, which you are… I have not been on here to cry about anything. I am clearly making observations and gaining insight. Thanks for being a blog bully, I am sure you penis just let out a lil precum with that one… ba dum bum.

MizUndaStood: You responded to frank advice and good faith analysis with snarky personal insults. Very classy. No doubt the classy SBs are in class or at work during the day!

FatB'StardSAsays:

@MizUndaStood

“Was there a full moon? Where did all these scum bag SD with woman hating entitlements come from? I guess this is about right for a midday blog discussion. Better quality SD’s are out doing real life stuff and making money to gift us with later… And on that note… :)”

The better quality SD’s are out of your reach, which is why you are crying on the blog in the first place!

I am just pointing out the obvious. If you think women at age 25 are hotter than 20, please get some help. Of course there are exceptions.

Joshsays:

@Rebecca

From clueless chit chat to deep psychoanalysis…Wonderwoman?

Hmmmmm 😉

MizUndaStoodsays:

Was there a full moon? Where did all these scum bag SD with woman hating entitlements come from? I guess this is about right for a midday blog discussion. Better quality SD’s are out doing real life stuff and making money to gift us with later… And on that note…

FatB'StardSAsays:

^^^ In response to

“’I’d compete and win against 22 year-old SBs any day of the week with no concerns whatsoever,”

42SWMsays:

MizUndaStood: No what I am saying that unless the expectations on BOTH sides are well defined up front, it is rinsing to merely try to lock in a specific allowance.

I.e. a set allowance up front without any discussion of what is required for the allowance is rinsing.

Kind of like saying, would you buy my car for $X when you have no idea what the attributes of the car are.

Put still another way, if you want to define a mutually beneficial arrangement up front, you need to define both sides of the equation. That will result in a discussion that sounds very much like hiring an escort. Since that is something that many people do not want, they need to be a bit more incremental in how they approach things.

For whatever reason, many of the pot SB’s I like (some post high-school education, ambitious, some level of sophistication) really dislike discussing the details of what is the arrangement in exchange for the allowance. Ultimately, these ladies have unrealistic expectations. Pay me $X/month, and commit to that up front, but no discussion of what the relationship involves.

It is precisely that absence of common sense that leaves many pretty young ladies in bad financial situations. Particularly those who see themselves as educated and sophisticated.

You show your own limited thinking Midwest if you think I am telling SBs to view sugar as a path to success. Success, hard work, and education are the path to success.

Sugar is a sexy game (if you do it right), a crutch (if you do it wrong), or a diversion (until a true partner comes along).

LadyScarlettsays:

Men like Midwest are not fit to lick my boots. No amount could have me sit through dinner with someone that delusional and conceited, ugh. So boring! Only talking about their body fat and how great they are, yet are paying for sex pay for play every week. Give me an older man with good character and more personality any day!

SugarBabyGurusays:

I’d compete and win against 22 year-old SBs any day of the week with no concerns whatsoever, but why would I want to? A man who regularly dates 22 year-olds doesn’t have the mental aptitude or sexual stamina to keep up with me anyway.

Rebeccasays:

Midwest, I think deep down you have a lot of self-hatred issues and in response, you lash out onto women. I have dealt with guys with your mind-set of how women are disposable, disgusting, and you don’t care about love. You admitted women’s worth goes downhill at 25. Are you kidding me? Nothing happens at 25. 25 does not = 55 unless the 25 year old birthed multiple children. I hope you work out your demons. That’s all I am going to say. You are not a SD, but a guy who belongs on Backpages. You provide nothing that a mentor/SD would bring.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@SugarBabyGuru I play in sugar for fun. Real life can sometimes move too slow.

The chances of a woman getting fabulously wealthy from sugar or marrying some rich sugar daddy are relatively slim. Sugar is the easy button for women to get paid and help.

Men don’t have this option. We decide to work and utilize and improve our own skills to make it in the world. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Self improvement is the path to our own success. It is not paved in gold provided by sugar daddies, much to the chagrin of the blog sugar babies.

Exceptions do exist, but if these SBs had generous or even non-generous, bearable, faithful boyfriends in their own age groups then they would not be in the sugarbowl. Would they? 😉

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@Rebecca I do have a girlfriend who is 24, but sugar is my side fix. My girlfriend is temporary, as they all are. I get bored easily and have a higher sex drive.

As a high income dude, I have no desire to marry her or any girl. I am just in it for the fun. Why would any guy in America sign up for a game that causes you to lose half your income or more? Marriage is dead in America.

Not all young guys, but SB’s definitely have “deadbeat, Xbox playing, drug dealing BF’s, unless of course you think they get bored of young hot guys with six packs and look for us older guys instead.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Midwest SD I don’t see it as competition. I don’t want to be compared to 20-23 year olds. Compare me with women in my age range, and I will be on top. I would’t EVER want to be younger or someone whom I am not. I am sorry you don’t see the beauty in a mature woman. They have laws against trolling the elementary schools looking for your next SB you know.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@Elaine, The younger women love the X box guys as their alpha guy. But they usually support them and realize that men that work for a living are a better bet.

In my experience (2 SB’s longer term and 10 plus pay per play toys) most sugar babies have already slept with at least 10 guys. Some of them probably 50 or more. I know, it is the stereotype for the women. The woman is a whore and the man is a cool dude.

But if you have slept with a lot of guys, you are a poor risk for marriage down the road and any long term relationship. All of the scientific studies support this fact. Just putting that out there.

*cough* Midwestsugardaddy, if you are so hot, why do you have to pay women to sleep with you for an “hour” per date? Many attractive older guys go on Okcupid to pick up younger women with no issues.

SugarBabyGurusays:

NC – It isn’t about the amount. I’ve met SDs on this site and ended up with a traditional non-arrangement hot affair because I actually genuinely liked them. $1,000 could be life changing for many women, and if the sex is hot and you’re attractive, sexually generous, and kind why not?

However … for Another-John to tell the women of SA that they need to lower their expectations because all we are is a useful vagina (only slightly more appealing than a greased palm) shows just how poorly Another-John thinks of women, and for that Another-John needs to be kept far, far away from any woman as he is not an “SD” in any sense, nor is he a “boyfriend”, he is a creep.

What I take offense to is the recommendation that the women of SA should set their expectations against the brothel rates of Europe .. not only are his “rates” factually incorrect, the idea is ridiculous. What one gets in Europe for a rate of 80 Euros, is just plain gross. Even in big cities in the third world you can expect to pay $50-100 for a woman who hasn’t been caged, abused, and trapped into sexual slavery. In Europe, where social security programs provide a living assistance of 900 Euros per month only the most desperate (or trafficked) women would need to sell themselves for 80 Euros a pop. So, if Another-John thinks it’s fine to take advantage of the vulnerable in that way, he should be seen as a predator.

I was in a European brothel that cost many hundreds of Euros and found the women sad and rough. To say that the women of SA are equivalent to those sad, rough, 80 Euro, professional bar guests well, that just shows how small Another-John’s option pool is. I have a hard time believing that A-John has been to brothels that a decent woman would even sit in a stool on if he’s paying 80 Euros for 30 minutes. Quality brothels do not offer punch cards or 30-minute rub and tugs.

I can get a Big Mac special for $6.00 but I don’t order that at a Michelin Star restaurant in Paris.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

The women of the USA should wake up and realize that your beauty falls off the map at age 27. At 27, you are competing with the 20-23 year olds who are in their prime. Every year there are more of them to choose from.

If you are attractive and want to ride the carousel with a bunch of men and sugar daddies, go for it. You may get a hit from a decent guy. However, you will likely end up unhappy and wondering why you cannot find a nice (wealthy) guy later in life.

All women want to be dominated by an alpha man. Sugar is kind of beta, but it is at least a honest exchange of services in some situations. No man should ever think that any woman out there is really any better than the next new one. I have had great sex with a bunch of people, but no one really made me want to like them for more than a short term period.

NC, your allowance is ok with me and most people. $1000 a month may be the way to go for most situations.

“Nothing wrong with choosing to gift what you can, but don’t try and scam the system. Sounds harmful and dangerous to a lot of SB’s out there.”

Did I miss a SA vote where you guys were elected to decide the difference between a SD and BF or what the SA site is supposed to be about?

Midwestsugardaddysays:

I have yet to meet a carefully selected 20-24 year old turn down $500 per meet sugar. These were all 7’s and above. I will not sugar/date/hook up with anyone who weighs over 135 lbs, unless they are taller than 5 foot 8 inches.

It does take a while to find these girls, but they are out there, and ready and willing to please their daddy. I realize that most of the girls are also doing pay for play for others. This is why I never take these girls anywhere on a trip. I may make the exception for the right one.

As for the fitness of men and women in general. Americans are slobs for the most part. As a fit SD, I command a greater physical premium, compared to my peers. However, for women in the sugar arena and outside it, money is really the only thing that will trump looks. The sugar babies on this site and elsewhere would be beating eachother down for a shot at a $10000 a month sugar daddy with a fat gut and hairy back. You can count on that.

NC Gentsays:

@Josh — that last post is very funny

MizUndaStoodsays:

King @Josh you are a dream… *swoon*

Elainesays:

NC Gent says:

“@Elaine — sugar is defined differently for everyone. There are plenty of men and women on SA looking for life partners, signficant others, sugar, etc. I am more likely a generous bf, but why isn’t it the right site if I lay out my benefits and expectations?”

Nothing wrong with that!

But I think you would treat her as a GF in that case and not be entitled and expect her to be available for sex 10 times a month, compare her with Eastern European hookers and state that she is only a “pussy” after all and masturbating would be cheaper?

No sweetheart, the discussion is NOT about a generous boyfriend vs a sugardaddy. It is about a deadbeat boyfriend (drain on time, youth and money) vs a sugardaddy. 😉

Elainesays:

@ NC Gent

“I find it amazing that ALL of the young guys that the SBs are dating as BFs have six pack abs, and us old guys are fat and never workout. I have been on many college campuses, and I am 100% certain that only a few percent of those men have six pack abs — they are incredibly hard to maintain.”

No ofcourse they don’t, like not all young girls are fit and gorgeous and not all 40+ women are fat and ugly.

This was only a simplified way of trying to make some people understand that there is a difference between what a woman expects from a boyfriend vs. a SD.

Because at the end that is what this discussion is about;
Generous boyfriend vs Sugardaddy?

NC Gentsays:

Agreed Miz — that is why expectations should be negotiated in person IMHO.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@NC Gent much respect to you if you lay out expectations and are honest about it. I have no problem with it.

After a POT lunch, expectations were discussed. Yes, I had clearly laid out on SA profile what I expected, but after spending time with POT and having a great lunch, I was willing to go for 1/2 of what I seek. Realistically, if I can relieve an entire financial responsibility, in this case he was willing to pay mortgage on my condo and prob would not gift more, that leaves me with more money to save and also options to connect with someone with more means. So less than expected is not always bad, but it depends on how it is presented.

NC Gentsays:

@LadyScarlett – point taken. The number of times I meet up with my SB varies from about 3 to 8 times a month, but intimacy only happens maybe 2-3 times a month. My sex drive isn’t what it used to be haha

@LadyScarlett @Elaine EXACTLY!!!

Nothing wrong with choosing to gift what you can, but don’t try and scam the system. Sounds harmful and dangerous to a lot of SB’s out there.

NC Gentsays:

@Elaine — sugar is defined differently for everyone. There are plenty of men and women on SA looking for life partners, signficant others, sugar, etc. I am more likely a generous bf, but why isn’t it the right site if I lay out my benefits and expectations?

LadyScarlettsays:

It really is not the amount you offer, NC, but your demeanor and you do not act entitled about it, or compare your SBs to brothels or going ‘rates’. Also, perhaps, you are not expecting 10 sex meets a month 😉

NC Gentsays:

@MidwestSD — I find it amazing that ALL of the young guys that the SBs are dating as BFs have six pack abs, and us old guys are fat and never workout. I have been on many college campuses, and I am 100% certain that only a few percent of those men have six pack abs — they are incredibly hard to maintain.

Don’t call yourself a SD if all you want is being a generous boyfriend, don’t compare “prices” with brothels and realize this might not be the right site for you.

NC Gentsays:

I have three dates coming up in the next 5 days. One is a coed that I have been talking to on-and-off for about three years (yeah I know stupid but I actually liked corresponding with her and I find her very attractive); the other two are recently divorced single moms in their late 20s – wanting casual male companionship without adding to their financial burden. None of them declined to meet me when I told them my allowance was $1000 a month plus expenses. All three have jobs and see sugar as an added benefit. I don’t consider myself a “John” by any means, but I guess that interpretation may vary.

LadyScarlettsays:

Oh gosh…you are one of those….nevermind, lol!

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@LadyScarlet I would love to find a non flaky chick 20-24 in my area for 2-3 meets per month for $2000. I had one, but she got a little lazy and I ditched her.

So I am on a pay for play kick. I am up to 3 girls this month so far. I will keep one biweekly and ditch the other two. It is much more straightforward to go this route right now. I still look twice a week to see if I can find the right one.

$500 cash is for dinner, 2 drinks, and one hour or more of hotel sex all over the room. I prefer the younger girls with the firmer bodies. Most women start to go downhill after 25 anyway. I am 44 with 8% bodyfat, so don’t even go there. Bring it on.

There are precious few non flaky SB that deserve more than $2000 per month. Most people getting more than that are just lowering their sugar daddy physical standards to get the cash. I get it.

It does look desperate on the SB end to be online constantly. It means you don’t have yourself together and you need the money soooooo baddd. Lol

Elaine writes: “I would have said what I wanted to say, block him and would not even read his answer anymore.”

Correct approach. But since you failed to tell Afri to do that originally, my rebuke stands.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Josh given any day, I would prefer a smaller/average penis to a schlong, but for the sake of argument, in this case, the insecurites are apparent. Why would you want to shift the SA website and Brandon’s success to a “Walmart bargain bin”? Makes no logical sense. Typical case of highschool lunch room, NO YOU CAN’T SIT HERE! Guess what? At the 20 year reunion, after you’ve tried to buy and beg your way into the crowd, they tell you STILL CAN’T SIT HERE!
@another_J have you tried Ashley Madison? More chances of getting laid for less, soccer moms will probably give you mediocre sex, probably bareback if they “think” you’re clean, and lie to the husbands for you. And if you’re waving around that $1000 gravy train, well you’ll have to fight those advances off with a stick!

LadyScarlettsays:

Yep, there is the magic number, $500 again. That is the ‘market rate’ I keep hearing about. So, they want a woman who is more like a real girlfriend and relationship, but not the ‘timed clock’…but then again, they want a going ‘rate’ that is average for a ‘meet'(which, in their mind, could be many many hours and all night, which is treating the SB more like an escort, actually worse, because if you view your SB as the going rate, then you are not paying her ‘per hour’. . An escort would charge, ‘per hour’. I hate this comparing rates and averages. It was whatever YOU want or are willing to accept, not the
market ‘value’ you slap on my bum. What happened to the men who genuinely want to help take care of the girl, or see her through college, a new business venture, or get off on gifting her an allowance that both HIM and her agree to, while not going by any ‘rates’. If some guy wants to start getting the average rate, then perhaps the girl should charge by the hour, then. This is disgusting to see.

If you always see her desperately logging in, then aren’t you also always online…just saying.

another_J_guysays:

LadyScarlett writes: “No one is insulting your inability to pay whatever you can afford”

Hello? You’re effectively trying to insult me in that very post by calling me the “Wal-mart, Denny’s and Motel 6 of SD’s”, though I’m not sure that’s an insult. Mass-market businesses like these have indeed benefitted the average American, and SA can do the same thing by bringing together middle-class SDs and lower-middle-class SBs. There’s a huge market opportunity there. Just because I’m not rich doesn’t mean the label SD doesn’t fit, anymore than the label motel/hotel should be denied to Motel6 just because it’s cheaper than the Ritz-Carlton.

The point of bringing up brothel rates is because those rates do set the price for sex in Europe, and that gets back to my original post to ExoticVA-SB, who is in Europe. If she sets her rates unrealistically high, she may get no takers, because men have options in Europe. She obviously screwed some guy to get pregnant. Did he pay her? Setting her rates high will probably mean no sustained SD relationship. A few guys may pay for a short fling, then dump her for being too expensive, like what happened with Afri. When she gets tired of being celibate, she can give it away for free so she won’t feel cheated by selling it cheap. Makes a lot of sense, right? “Give it away for free rather than selling it cheap.” (Note: I’m assuming the men are the same in both cases.)

Same reasoning applies in the United States, though here the options for paid sex are much worse. However, men can always masturbate for free and they are doing just that, using all the free porn that is available nowadays.

I like your style! I would love for you to give a run down of your impressions of the blog SB’s. Hell include the blog SD’s as well (I can take it).

Welcome to the blog, I hope you stick around for a long time. Just don’t become a post whore.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

This whole allowance thing is really elementary. Most sugar babies deserve $1000 to $2000 a month maximum. My last three pay for plays were $500 per meet. This is the market rate in my area.

Plus it solves the flake issue that is so common to the sugar baby side of the house. Flake on me once, you get one more shot. Flake twice and you are gone.

I see the same 20-30 girls logging in all the time in my area. These are clearly probable escorts and flaky college chicks. I met two of them and their expectations were clearly unrealistic.

In other developments, my old sub came back begging to come back. She says she has bills going past due. She was cool but made some bad life choices. I predict a less than satisfying existence for her in the future. Lol. It is funny to see her desperately logging in all the time. Some people never learn how life really works.

Elainesays:

@ Josh

Well let him, it shows exactly how serious we should take him.

As RSD always says: “Let them dig their own grave”

FatB'StardSAsays:

@another_J_guy

Don’t worry about the “SB’s” on the site labelling you a John or Walmart SD. Even the ability to give a $1K/monthly allowance puts you in the upper income bracket for the USA. I doubt many of these blog “SB’s” have ever had a BF who was as financially well off as you (had to get a dig in at the blog SB’s somewhere ).

I am sure there are many women in your target market who would be happy to have a SD like you, and you seem very realistic in terms of what type of SB you are after with the allowance you are offering.

@another_J_guy

“Based on what you’ve written in this blog, you’re trash in my book. Typical clueless American trash.”

Are you sure you want to use such language?

Elainesays:

@ another_J_guy

“Elaine talks a lot about her brains and sophistication”

Thank you, so nice if this is your perception of me, because I can’t remember ever to have been bragging about my IQ or sophistication?
*Only thing I keep saying is that a hot body is easy repleacable and a hot brain not.
An interesting SB (doesn’t need to have a high IQ!) has a longer life in sugar as the ones who think their hot body is all they have to bring in.

“The guy will come back: “Yeah, well, after we had sex, I realized you were no better than the gals on backpage, so I just paid the going rate for a hooker there. Nice knowing ya!”
*And so what?
I would have said what I wanted to say, block him and would not even read his answer anymore.

“(a point I have made several times)”
Maybe then you could be so brave as to use your normal nickname so we would know who we are talking to?

” And I also said that for a student or single mum 1k (be it in dollars or euro’s) is a very welcome help, when given by a generous boyfriend.
But if you are an SD and require to meet 10 times a month, it is ridiculous.”
*Can you please point out were I exactly “hate so much 1k per month”. Or am shaming women for taking $1000/month” ?

Only thing I hate is SDs who don’t know the difference between being a generous BF or SD. Those that want the Girlfriend experience and the SB being always available and treating them as their BF, but in the meanwhile talking about them as “pussy” and comparing “prices” with East European hookers they pay per half hour.

Fradulent SD’s probably have small penises anyways. There is my logical correlation for the day. I’m spent.

MizUndaStoodsays:

LadyScarlettsays:

I have an idea, @john. Walmart was also a bit scandalous, since their pay is so low they started handing employees applications for food stamps, with the other new employee paperwork because their employees qualified for them, due to their low wages. You could take that idea from them, and include an application for state benefits as part of job perks as you SB, too (:

Am glad you are admitting you are the Wal-mart, Denny’s and Motel 6 of SD’s. That might be a good line for your profile tag….Seeking Walmart bargain bin SB.

Am not trying to be mean, anotherjohn, but from what you just admitted here, you are not an SD. You are wannabe SD or generous boyfriend at best. The problem the women are having with you, is not that you cannot afford, but your entitled attitude of ‘pussy’ as you referenced it, and comparing SBs and their allowance requirements to Eastern European brothels. There are all kinds of sugar reality, and your insulting others because they can, and do receive more in allowance is not cool. No one is insulting your inability to pay whatever you can afford, but your desire to have all SBs think logically and lower their allowance amounts that they see fit. Someone’s mental well being, in what amount THEY feel comfortable excepting, is worth more that what you think is fair, even if they do not have any/many takers. Many have probably left SA because the price they will accept never happened. And, if they have a regular, decent paying job, then why not? I have turned down many offers that I was not willing to take and am glad for it, and do not give it much thought(no opportunity cost regret). However, as SBguru pointed out, the times where I felt cheated or taken advantage of, are much more reflected on, and the amount I felt cheated is no where near the amount of distress and unhappiness it caused my mental well-being. That, is what you do not seem to get.

Rebeccasays:

Odd situation. I received a message from a guy on SA. I Google image search his photos and it connected to an Okcupid account. It clearly shows the photo on the Okcupid account before clicking, but when I cache it or view the account, it doesn’t show the photo anymore. However, when I did click the account, it shows photos of a guy on SA I have no interest in meeting. He isn’t my type and looks like a playboy. He has been on SA foreverrrr.
The guy I am talking to is new, since August. I really wonder what happened. Is it a glitch and a coincidence or is this guy trying to Catfish me?

another_J_guysays:

SugarBabyGuru writes: “But, a man of any intellect should be able to understand how insulting it would be to ask a woman of education, class, and substance to allow a man to think of her interms of brothel rates. What I offer is an experience, a woman who intuitively understands each individual SDs particular sexual fantasies, stimulating conversation, charm, wit, politucal savvy, sophistication, AND a world class vagina. In a package that looks polished and sweet – not used abused and disguarded. If you think you can get a woman like me to even acknowledge a $50 per bang allowance, you are laughable.”

Based on what you’ve written in this blog, you’re trash in my book. Typical clueless American trash. The real gems are the Eastern European divorcees in their late 30’s and early 40’s. Great looks plus real education. Unfortunately, women of that age group don’t speak English very well, plus there is no easy way to access them other than moving to eastern Europe or marrying them, neither of which options appeals to me.

LadyScarlettsays:

Another John, have raised my allowance requirements, in your honor (:

another_J_guysays:

In response to requests, name has been changed.

Elaine writes to Afri: “There is nothing more you can do now as sending him a sarcastic mail, thanking him for his generousity and ask him for example if he is sure to have left enough for himself to be able to buy himself food the rest of the month? It will not help, but might make you feel a little better.”

Elaine talks a lot about her brains and sophistication, but she appears to be lacking street smarts. The guy will come back: “Yeah, well, after we had sex, I realized you were no better than the gals on backpage, so I just paid the going rate for a hooker there. Nice knowing ya!”

LadyScarlett writes: “since you are so into fairness, justice and how things ‘should be’ and view your SBs as saving them from low wage jobs, and their new employer of sorts, do you give them a raise, like an employer does for a well done performance and loyalty to your company, literally and figuratively? Am taking wild guess and saying, ‘no’. :-p”

Like I wrote before, I’m probably not playing in the same league as you princesses, and that may part of why so much hate at $1000/month. Here in fly-over country, for a single mother aged 35 who works minimum wage job cleaning rooms at the motel6, waitressing at Dennys, cashiering at the Walmart, $1000/month TAX-FREE is very nice money, once again assuming she is doing something she wants to do anyway. Unlike you princesses, these pink-collar types often have a lusty sex drive and enjoy sex at least every 3 days, meaning 10 times/month. And guess what, Motel6, Denny’s and Walmart are NOT giving pay raises this year, regardless of performance and loyalty. I’m also not getting a pay raise this year, haven’t had one in years and will be taking a huge pay cut next year when I retire. I’d love to be in a position to hand out $10K/month, but reality is that most people in this country are not rich.

My understanding of SA is precisely that it is about democratizing and rationalizing what has always been happening with the rich and their hangers-on. The only way for SA to prosper is to attract the middle-class men, since SA memberships are per man, rather than based on the man’s wealth, so profitability is all about boosting male numbers. But the only way for middle-class men to be attracted to SA is for there to be plenty of women on SA open to those men’s offers. Shaming women for taking $1000/month is thus not helping either working-class women (a point I have made several times) or SA.

MizUndaStoodsays:

Sorry I don’t feel any type of way for a comment. I won’t give that power to another_john. Just interesting. SMH

MizUndaStoodsays:

King @Josh will always reign. Another_john is just here to let us know that pussy is pussy, we’re not special and should be happy with handouts and shut up. I have no problem with being in my place and playing my role, but I won’t be made to feel less than for something I choose to do.

SugarBabyGurusays:

42, developing organically is great when the SD isn’t pressuring for sex and can be relied upon to be truthful in his dealings and/or an SD who shows generosity up front. Unfortunately, for every active (or once active) woman on SA there is a story of getting screwed in an unpleasant way. I’ve got a few, and I’m one of the fortunate SBs who’s managed to figure out how the bowl wors.

“another_john” is a better name.

I am curious just why this person had to attach one of the most established names on this blog as part of his blog name?

Be creative, will us! 😉

LadyScarlettsays:

“The more the beginning becomes a negotiation rather than a get to know you, the more both sides will feel like escorts and Johns. After all, feeling like a high-paid escort is still feeling like an escort.”

I would rather feel like a very high paid exclusive escort(who probably sleeps with less men than many ‘SBs’ do)than a cheaply gifted or taken advantage of SB. But hey, am just being honest and that is just me 😉 Why all the hate on escorts? Many men, on SA, or on this blog are constantly comparing prices of SBs to escorts/brothels, so they view us as similar, anyways. There is apparently a ‘going rate’ for SBs now, have even had a couple men tell me such. And, there are those who agree with the other Josh, so must think the same, even though they speak of how horrible it must be to feel like an escort. You do realise that SA is full of escorts, yes 😉

@the other Josh, if your birthday is coming up, you must make a wish that all SBs will start thinking logically and rationally, and line up for your $100 per meet, or $1000 per month 10 sex meets per month allowance. If you wish it hard enough…it might come true! Promise 😉

Also, @otherJosh, since you are so into fairness, justice and how things ‘should be’ and view your SBs as saving them from low wage jobs, and their new employer of sorts, do you give them a raise, like an employer does for a well done performance and loyalty to your company, literally and figuratively? Am taking wild guess and saying, ‘no’. :-p

MizUndaStoodsays:

@SBG LOL at another_john!!!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Josh not really. Niggardly folks irritate me. I can’t be an Indian giver and take back my pussy after I’ve given it now can I? Sorry I’m not PC enough for ya’ll this morning, we all can grow some balls and get over it. Good debate and people, ehhhh never cease to amaze me. LOL!

Elainesays:

@ another_Josh

I think the problem is that you are a little confused by the difference between a generous boyfriend and an SD.
The difference my dear, is that boyfriends of young student girls tend to be young and having sixpacks 😉

For a boyfriend count other requirements as for an SD, in terms of physical appearance, being single, being same age group, being emotional involved in my life, being a companion for my kids, and most of all: the possibility of a mutual future.
In a bf/gf relationship it is not all about his needs, his expectations, his schedule and his job and family.
It is about the couples needs and that differs substantially from the NSA approach of sugar.

I am genuinly fond of my SDs, and like to meet them as often as possible, but my time is precious too and always being available when he wants carries a pricetag.
If my SDs were after “pussy” well I think they would be much better off with escorts indeed. But my SDs have much higher expectations of their mistress and are gladly taking care of me financially.

As other bloggers can confirm, I never talk about my SDs on blog, neither brag about allowances, trips etc, (Although some of them know my reality)
Indeed, because my situation is different it would only be a disservice to SBs in another situations.

But because sugar reality is very wide and ranging from plain prostitutes to high end courtesans, I hope my blogging adds to the variety and at times serve as a counterweight.
And hopefully encourages new SBs to not take all bs for granted and get abused by the predators luring around.

I am on SA because here is where I have found my SDs.
My profile is active because I will never rely for 100% on my SD.
They can get in financial trouble (last one did, genuinly like him so still in contact even without allowance)
Or the wife can find out, which means I am out.

Once made the mistake to fall in love and cancel my profile for an SD, but will never do that again.

MizUndaStoodsays:

42SWM so are you saying laying out expectations early is the equivelant of rinsing? I don’t think so. If I were to date someone, based on looks, personality, chemistry, and eventually falling in love and creating a future, I would be on match.com. The intial laws of attraction are in play here, a SD would not agree to meet a POT SB unless he felt he could see himself doing her and doing for her. The same with a SB agreeing to meet a SD- she is interested in meeting him, seeing if she can mesh with him, and always his abundant resources. If dinner is successful, lots of conversation, laughs, understanding, and attraction is there, I do not think it’s rinsing to talk about what one seeks or what their ideal arrangement would be. Waiting it out, and talking about it before sex sounds riduculous. Then it’s sex for pay. I could resent someone for that.

Love Gurusays:

@Miz

“jew down”

I am sure you want to retract such phrases.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Another-John, I feel bad for you if the sex you’ve enjoyed is only marginally more pleasurable than masturbating in a hotel sink. It’s also sad if the prostitutes you see in those high-end European brothels are women you consider attractive. The women at Babylon Club, one of the most prestigious clubs in Europe, looked rough and leathered to me, and they were seething with low-lying hostility. And, that’s a place with a 100 Euro cover just to walk in the door and rates 4-5 times what you’re talking about.

$1, 000 a month from a man who is kind, caring, and sexually generous would be life changing for a single mom making minimum wage. But, a man of any intellect should be able to understand how insulting it would be to ask a woman of education, class, and substance to allow a man to think of her interms of brothel rates.

What I offer is an experience, a woman who intuitively understands each individual SDs particular sexual fantasies, stimulating conversation, charm, wit, politucal savvy, sophistication, AND a world class vagina. In a package that looks polished and sweet – not used abused and disguarded. If you think you can get a woman like me to even acknowledge a $50 per bang allowance, you are laughable. Of course, all you want is a vagina to masturbate into, so the cost to find that type of 30 minute “experience” is significantly lower.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@another_josh I am not sure why you are so adamant on counting another person’s money? I mean, you say $1000 is better than what she could have had making nothing, who the hell are you to judge a woman’s time or finances? Because she is seeking a SD? We all have our goals, but to think we are destitute and your $1000 is the gravy train, well you are sadly mistaken. Why do you feel it necessary for a SB to give you full disclosure of what she makes and has in assets for you to put a price tag on how much sex she gives you and how you can negotiate down? You sound like a controlling pig. Like really? You sound awful “wordly” and mixing up the sugar world with prostitution, is NOT healthy. Yes, some view it as transactional, but the whole point of it is not. I am glad I am nothing but a pussy to you, so you probably won’t give my rant about what you have posted to heart anyways. Just another dumb pussy you can jew down and call poor. Thanks for your perspective.

Incremental steps where both sides both give and get more as time passes, and actual chemistry develops is what “develop organically” means. It doesn’t mean rinsing, or the SD equivalent of rinsing.

42SWMsays:

I agree with another_Josh. I think the universe of potential SBs on SA would be much happier (which would also make the universe of potential SD’s happier) if they they developed more realistic expectations. Having more realistic expectations is not a move towards being a escort—to the contrary, realistic expectations are the best way to avoid looking at an SD/SB arrangement in such a way that it becomes a volume purchaser escort contract.

Allow the arrangement to develop more organically and incrementally. Both parties will feel better about it. Neither side feels like they are being taking advantage of. In every relationship, there are transitions from one stage to another. Jumping into the desired end state isn’t really the natural way of things. Saying “I want an allowance of $X, do you accept?” is an incomplete question. It is just as incomplete as a response of “If I am happy with how we click and the overall status of the arrangement, I would be happy to pay $X”.

The more the beginning becomes a negotiation rather than a get to know you, the more both sides will feel like escorts and Johns. After all, feeling like a high-paid escort is still feeling like an escort.

Nothing wrong with starting slow, and building up.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Afri was the sex even worth it to you? It sounds like it wasn’t. In that case, then yeah you should have asked for more. But did you ask? If you let things unfold (someone here said “organically”) well this is what happens. By the first dinner, I would have had expectations laid out. If he didn’t want to meet them, well all the time I’ve wasted was a dinner. I’d keep the $300 guy around and hit him up for lingerie, sugar wax, and a spa day, maybe even asshole bleaching! You want to look your best when you are intimate with him right? And you can’t have sex with such a dark and hairy arse! LOL! You never know, he could help you get ready for the next SD in the next tax bracket.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Afri – Why be insulted dear? Did he lie to you and tell you he would give you a certain amount and then cheat you out of what he owed, or did you assume it would be more and fail to really communicate your needs and expectations up front? Some men (see above) think generous is $100, maybe $300 is MORE than he thought he should give and he was trying to impress you.

The sugar bowl is full of all types and the only “right” allowance is the allowance you agreed to, which is hopefully providrd by someone you genuinely enjoy.

The mistake you made is in having sex and then getting an allowance. Now you’ve learned the proper sequence – agreement, gifting, sex – that way you can’t get cheated.

BTW – $300 if you met twice a week is $2, 500 per month. The published SA “average”. Many women on SA would be thrilled to get the average. Doesn’t mean YOU have to enjoy that, but perspective is important.

One down, 2-3 more SBs and one specific SD to go.

THAT is your inalienable right as a woman.

If the blog does not come thru then make sure that you lodge a formal complaint with powers to be at SA.

another_joshsays:

@Elaine: I raised my offer to $2K for this site just to meet women, but realistically I’ll probably renegotiate down after a while. It’s a bit out of my range, especially since I’m retiring this year and won’t get a pension for another 10 years.

Good for you if you find it easy to find wealthy SD’s. You’re in a different league than me or my targets probably. I still think you’re doing the women in my league a disservice by inflating their expectations. A failed auction benefits no one. I’m also curious why you are on this site if you have a SD already. Look for a replacement already? How many of these guys are you running simultaneously?

Elaine writes (and LadyScarlett says more or less the same thing): “And I also said that for a student or single mum 1k (be it in dollars or euro’s) is a very welcome help, when given by a generous boyfriend. But if you are an SD and require to meet 10 times a month, it is ridiculous.”

My understanding is that the relationship with SD versus boyfriend was identical, other than that the former gives money. That is, in both cases, the attraction is mutual. If you are lowering your standards significantly for the SD versus boyfriend, then you effectively no different from a common prostitute. No wonder you want lots of money. If you actually enjoyed sex with a man, you wouldn’t be complaining about 10 times/month regardless of the amount.

I agree that women don’t have to accept what I think is right. All I’m asking is that they be logical. If you’re actually making big money, great. But I suspect most of the women on SA aren’t making much, and part of the reason why is because the other women inflate their expectations and make them feel ashamed of not asking for big money. Final result is that women never meet a real SD and so go back to having broke boyfriends, the ones who give nothing or else have to be supported by the woman.

“renting a sperm dumpster per half hour. Knowing you are probably one out of the twenty that day. I am sure she will genuinly enjoy they quality time with you. But hey! if this is your idea of quality sex, go ahead and enjoy!”

Hysterical female ranting. P*ssy is p*ssy for the most part and only marginally better than masturbation, which is free. What difference if she has twenty johns that day versus twenty over her lifetime? (Also, twenty is on the high side, more like 5 at most.) Surely you’ve had sex with twenty men, Elaine? So how are you not a sperm dumpster? No, the women in brothels aren’t all that excited about sex with johns, though they can always refuse someone they relly don’t want, at least in Europe. But it’s still sex with a young woman who usually does her best to be pleasant. No different from a dental hygienist. Do dental hygienists really love cleaning gunk off my teeth? Probably not. But they try to be pleasant and they take pride in their work. It’s a win-win proposition. Like I said, though, I’d prefer a more normal relationship versus escorts/brothels, which is why I’m using SA, but I don’t have hangups about sex like some people.

Elainesays:

@Afri

Accoording to some bloggers that should be a fair rate.

Serious now. I think he is worse then a John and taking advantage of you by pretending to be a SB, just to get his sex cheaper as an escort.
Unfortunally SA lately is flooded with those types.

There is nothing more you can do now as sending him a sarcastic mail, thanking him for his generousity and ask him for example if he is sure to have left enough for himself to be able to buy himself food the rest of the month?
It will not help, but might make you feel a little better.

And then take lessons from it:
Don’t put “negotiable” in your profile but your real expectation.
And agree on the allowance before the panties hit the floor.

Love Gurusays:

@Afri

I see venting is in the air. I am sure some of the SBs and one specific SD will get you thru your venting.

Happy venting. 😉

Afrisays:

Omg so after meeting for lunch and dinner 4 times over a span of 1 month. We finally become intimate and this guy gives me $300! My last sd gave me $700 every time we linked up before we did an allowance

I’m so insulted and i want to end things but give him a peice of my mind!

Any thoughts?

Elainesays:

@ another_josh

“As for Europe, yes, escorts are way cheaper there than in the United States, on a quality-adjusted basis, because paid sex is legal there and because of the huge influx of high-quality eastern europeans.”

High quality East Europeans in prostitution, are you serious???

“80 euro will get you at least half-hour in Germany or the Eastern European countries where the girls come from”

Sounds like a great experience to me… renting a sperm dumpster per half hour.
Knowing you are probably one out of the twenty that day.
I am sure she will genuinly enjoy they quality time with you.
But hey! if this is your idea of quality sex, go ahead and enjoy!

For your information:
Sex is only legal in a few European countries, and Eastern Europe is like Asia, yes you can find cheap sex with beautiful girls.
But maybe you would feel very bad if you would think about the reason some prices are so low!
But men in search for cheap sex in these countries are well known for their ability to close their eyes for what is going on, as long as they can dump their sperm in some poor girl.

In the countries where prostitution is legal, the (legal) prostitutes have to pay income tax, and thus will be more expensive as US!

LadyScarlettsays:

@the other Josh, But…sex or their/my vagina is not strictly a commodity to me, that I attach opportunity cost to(if others do this, then I make no judgments, but giving you another way to think of this) If I have lost out on ten men, who were willing to offer me $1,000 per month, the last 10 months, then that is $10,000 opportunity cost, yes(if, we want to think of it in the way you do). However, personally, would feel cheap and taken advantage of for that price(even assuming all 10 men were my ‘type’, if I was seeking an SD relationship with them, and they wanted to see me sexually, 10 times per month). To be honest, I could find a generous boyfriend my age or younger, who could gift around $1,000 per month, as I have had that scenario before…or, have had men send $1,000 just for a spa day. So, to me, the opportunity cost of that $10,000 would not be worth it for having had sex with 10
more men, in my life, for those 10 months. Or, even the 10 times a month for $1,000, if I stuck with the one gentleman, if he is a good deal older than myself and my SD(or, a man I would only consider as an SD and not generous bf). There is a difference between a generous boyfriend and an SD relationship….in my opinion. If the single mothers/older SB’s/ mistresses you see are viewing you as more of a generous boyfriend, then fair enough. But, I think you are looking at this with the wrong attitude as some women, on SA, have pretty decent jobs and educational backgrounds, and absolutely could make much more at their job than $1,000 per month for 10 visits with an SD, comparatively, so even these older SB’s would not accept that amount. It is whatever they are comfortable accepting and not what YOU think they should be happy with. As the real Josh said, perhaps what they offer, and what the SD seeks, is not purely sexual in nature, and the man values this more, so he does not compare his mistress to women in the brothels, anyways, as they offer so much more and he understands and values this.

Elainesays:

@ another_josh

Don’t think you have read my post well….

And sorry to disappoint you, I have NEVER been without an SD since I joined SA
And I have NEVER had sex with an SD I didn’t find attractive and enjoyed having sex with.

I do agree a lot of SBs do have unrealistic expectations in return for what they offer, but I am in a different niche of sugar where high allowances are less rare.

And now you are talking about 2k in dollars a month, why that?
If it was so easy to find the same “pussy” for 1k?
And another thing; 1k in dollars in US, has a completely different spending value as 1k dollars in Western Europe.

And I also said that for a student or single mum 1k (be it in dollars or euro’s) is a very welcome help, when given by a generous boyfriend.
But if you are an SD and require to meet 10 times a month, it is ridiculous.

You started your first post as a very sensible SD, but you end up talking like a John…Pity!

another_joshsays:

@ExoticVA-SB: Do me a favor. Calculate exactly how much you have earned, on a monthly basis, from sex with boyfriends in the past year, and then see how that compares with $1000/month.

You don’t sound like you want to make a career of escorting, which means you are going to have problems juggling SD’s who you despise having sex with and boyfriends who you enjoy having sex with. So what will happen is that the SD relationship fails and again we come back to the issue of much you actually earn per month on a sustained basis. Earning $500 for one night is exciting, but nights like that may be few and far between. Meanwhile, the rent comes due every month…

A better approach is find a SD who also fulfills the boyfriend role, so that the relationship is sustainable. SD’s like that will probably be no more than 35 years old, given that you are 23. Asking for large amounts of money from a guys in their 30’s is going to weed out the honest guys in favor of guys who will promise the moon and deliver nothing.

another_joshsays:

@Elaine: Well, like I said, I’m targeting women age 30-45, not college girls. My last arrangement (which was not through SA) was with a single mother aged 42 when we split up a year ago and I was 54, so 12 years age difference. She had a low-paying job and my $1000/month tax-free was like getting a very substantial raise, for doing something she wanted to do anyway. The split was for personal reasons, not related to the money. If there had been more money, she might have stuck around longer, but that is precisely what I want to avoid. Namely, a woman who sticks around just for the money, rather than because of mutual attraction.

I’m now offering $2K/month, but I still think $1K/month is quite realistic in my area (big city in midwest of United States). Unfortunately, there are lot of women who are being misled by people like yourself and being hurt in the process. Sex is a wasting commodity, like hotel room occupancy. Sell it or it goes to waste. Also, the price for bulk sales should be way lower than for piecemeal sales. That is, a studio that rents for $100/night on a nightly basis should rent for $1000/month with a 6 month lease, not $3000/month. Similarly, cost per meet should be way lower where there is a long-term arrangement and mutual attraction versus an escort situation.

As for Europe, yes, escorts are way cheaper there than in the United States, on a quality-adjusted basis, because paid sex is legal there and because of the huge influx of high-quality eastern europeans. 80 euro will get you at least half-hour in Germany or the Eastern European countries where the girls come from, and you will get quality. In particular, beautiful bodies and none of the attitude you get from entitled Americans. My travel is exclusively to Europe, but other men travel frequently to South America or Asia. Escorts are also way cheaper in those places than the US. The US is crazy expensive for a lot of things: university tuition, healthcare and escorts are 3 things that spring to mind.

What I see on SA is failed auctions because one party (the sellers) have an absurdly unrealistic view of their value. I genuinely liked my former mistress (I prefer that term to SB) but reality is that what I was paying for was p*ssy, and p*ssy does have a price, and that price is not that high in the global marketplace. Each month that goes by that a SB does NOT get paid, is a month of potential income permanently lost. How many months have you been looking, Elaine? Of course, if you take the attitude that sex with a SD is disgusting, then of course, a month of income lost is also a month of disgusting sex avoided, so it’s a wash. But then that violates my assumption of mutual attraction. Mutual attraction is what should distinguish these SA arrangements from other forms of paid sex, in my opinion.

True story. When I first got on SA a few months back, I was dazzled by all the college girls, so I communicated and met with a few, but quickly realized the age difference was too much, among other issues. Two of these SBs recently contacted me again by email, to see if I was still interested. One of them was asking $5000/month initially and is now negotiable, the other was asking for a whopping $10K initially and is now practical ($1000-$3000). So money is no longer an objection, but like I said, there are other reasons I don’t think a relationship with a girl 35 years younger than me will work. Anyway, from what I gather, neither of these girls has actually made a penny during the five months since we first communicated. They’ve had lots of contact with men that goes nowhere and one of them apparently handed out some free samples of sex to a man in his 20’s she thought cute, who then disappeared when she brought up the subject of money, etc. Meanwhile, 5 months have elapsed. Both of these girls are broke and working minimum wage part-time jobs, I might add. $1000/month would more than double their income, in other words. Furthermore, other than the free samples one gave out to a POT SD and maybe some one night stands, I don’t think either has much of a sex life. That is, they aren’t even finding guys their own age to be their boyfriend. It seems to me both of them would be way better off if they had been collected $1000/month from someone reliable, again assuming they actually enjoyed the sex, since sex you don’t enjoy should carry a very high price.

As for my target demographic, the single mothers in their 30’s, I am certain there are plenty of those in my area who are either not having sex at all or their boyfriends are a net financial drain, and who work at low-paid jobs and thus would be way better off with the $2K/month I’m offering or even $1K/month. Again, this assumes mutual attraction, which I don’t think is unrealistic between a woman age 35 and a man age 55, assuming the man has taken care of himself, which I have.

Finally, I don’t hate on women who really are pulling in big bucks from their SD’s. Maybe I’m the deluded one and women really are getting $10K/month on this site. All I ask is for SB’s to carefully evaluate exactly how much they have earned since they started down this road, then divide by the number of months they started, to see what they are actually earning on a per month basis. They might discover that even $1000/month would be way better than what they are actually earning.

ExoticVA-SBsays:

Thanks everyone for your input.

@another_josh I agree, I see no reason to hide it either. It is also a way to avoid surprises or wasted time. That way it becomes easier for him to decide whether or not make an arrangement instead of finding it out later on when everything is already established. This is why I ticked off “yes” on my profile. If a man thinks anything less than positive about me being a single mother then thats GREAT, because it weeds out the men that I am NOT looking for and it will eventually lead me to find a pot that takes me as I am. However, I disagree with the $1000 a month allowance, I simply think that that is too little. I am not going to settle for anything and everything just because I’m a student.

@LadyScarlett I agree with you 100%. “If having a child makes you less sexy to a man, then it is probably not the man for you, anyways, or is most likely a man who does not have any children” I am definitely not looking for a fantasy type of arrangement so I do not care for lying about certain things. A more traditional arrangement is what I prefer.

@Elaine Very good points. Especially

“1. Having a kid does not automatically mean you are desperate.
2. Having mentioned you have a kid, doesn’t have to make you less sexy.
3. Having a kid doesn’t mean you “need” sugar.”

You also mentioned bringing it up briefly on the first date, should I not tick “yes” on my profile and just tell him on the first date? or should I only tell him on the first date IF there is chemistry and the possibility of an arrangement?

For a boyfriend, giving 800 Euro per month IS generous.
But if you are 55, that is probably not the case with a young student.

For a Sugardad with your wishes, it is ridiculous.

Lowering your “price” will only attract more Johns and creeps…

Elainesays:

@ another_josh

Don’t know in which Europe you live, but a prostitute in Europe is absolutely NOT cheaper as in US!
EVERYTHING is more expensive in (Western) Europe, as a matter of fact….
Of course.if you want illegal, desperate, drug addicted or trafficed women (Most!), you can find lower prices everywhere.

With 1000 Dollars you get nowhere if you want sex, friendship and intimacy of an SB 10 times a month. That is only 800 Euro!
An Euro is spend like a Dollar.
Want a 15 min hump in a red district room, or even a car?
Because that is all you will get for 80 Euro!

Of course 800 Euro taxfree will still be a nice extra support for a young student, but expecting 10 meetings a month in return is absurd!

Your post really made great sense, untill you started the brothel comparison….

While you are at it, make one profile mentioning that you have a bad-ass dad, and the other one without such mention. 😉

Rebeccasays:

I’d make one account saying I am a mom and another with no kids.
See what it attracts.

Love Gurusays:

In my case, my on-again off-again (OAOA) SB’s diligent budgeting and her ability to find ways to stretch every single one of her dollar bills gave me the incentive to help her increasingly more.

Her sexual availability remains the same, and is on her schedule. She is just getting more money from me and I am delighted to make things easier for her because every help from my side is received with the utmost appreciation.

The girls competing to provide sexual satisfaction will be compared with others who are providing similar “services”.

Maybe many SBs don’t realize that their non-sexual prowess lands them higher allowances when utilized in a good balance with sexual availability.

LadyScarlettsays:

@Sugarbabyguru, hehe, you found the advertisement for the other Josh amusing for ladies to lower their rates to $1,000 per month to be a bit shameless, too, then?

I don’t think it matters, if someone is mature and understands that not all single mother’s are cast offs. With so many single mothers and fathers around today, there is not the stigma that there once was. It is more uncommon to be married for 20 years these days, unfortunately. I think it is a personal judgement call. Some men are fine with knowing, while others want a pure fantasy, so do not tell them and out your child, or anything else in your personal life. I see both sides if the argument. Depends on person and situation.

Love Gurusays:

Who disagrees with Lainey’s:

“MY child, MY responsibility!”?

SugarBabyGurusays:

“Another Josh” just gave a perfect example of why NOT to talk about your kids..

He expHressed everything for me:

1. “Men don’t want you” some men honestly believe single moms are cast offs
Not all men think that, but why let someone reject you – you should reject them for being a creep.
2. Some men think single moms should lower their standards. Ummm, no, I’ll raise my standards if it means time away from my Princes.
3. Some men think single moms should set their expectations against European brothel rates. I’ve been to an Austrian brothel (a world-class brothel) the women still looked rode hard and put away wet, they are not my peers nor my competition. Even in Austria I do not need to take their “bargain rates” into consideration. If a cheap whore is what a man wants, cheap is easy to find. I hear you can get a three holer in the Phillipines for $40.

Even with a child, probably more reliable than most 20 yo valley girl SBs

Generally more relaxed with their sensuality

Jordansays:

The Walking Dead is a good show if you read the comics first. (:

another_joshsays:

@ExoticVA-SB: I see no reason not to mention your child. I have pretty much concluded that the ONLY women on SA worth pursuing are the single mothers, though I prefer the age range 30-45 (I’m 55 myself). Reason is that a single mother has a bonafide reason why she is not pursuing men her own age (they don’t want her) and so is interested in older men, and also has a bonafide reason for being willing to lower her appearance expectations in a man in exchange for money. Of course, I wouldn’t introduce the child to the man.

I would suggest you ONLY meet men for whom you feel some sexual attraction based on their profile and pictures, ONLY meet them in public at a coffee shop for the first date, and ONLY go on second dates if the first date confirms the sexual attraction. Being paid to have sex that you enjoy is a very easy way to make money. Being paid for sex that you don’t enjoy is a way to corrupt your soul. I would also suggest you be more modest in your expectations than some of the princesses here on SA. Remember, you are competing with escorts/brothels, which are cheap in Europe. And the women in those brothels are amazing beauties too (at least in Germany). The princesses here in this forum will laugh at 10 nights together a month for $1000, but that’s what it would cost a man to visit a Berlin brothel 10 times for sex with a stunning Ukrainian beauty. $1000/month is a LOT of money for doing something you enjoy and would be doing anyway for free. Keeping your price down greatly increases the number of men who can legitimately afford you, and thus increases the odds you’ll meet someone you truly enjoy being with. Obviously, if you can get a guy to pay more, go for it. Just be aware that a lot of men, perhaps most of them, exaggerate their income/wealth and make promises they have no intention of fulfilling. I repeat, $1000/month is a LOT of money, especially since it’s tax-free. Visit globalrichlist.com if you don’t believe me, or talk with your fellow students and recent graduates about their income.

Laineysays:

Check the time stamps and then CHECK YOURSELF! You’re welcome

Laineysays:

I totally get @Elaine’s post telling me to chill out because she commented in the midst of my harshness but everyone who wanted to comment AFTER the fact and after my apology and explanation Only wanted to start the draaaaammmaaa they loathe so much. Why speak to me? I didn’t ask for advice. Direct your comments to the OP!

Lainey says:

November 4, 2014 at 9:46 am

My bad I’ll turn it down a notch @ExoticVA-SB. It’s just that our generation is the pits and reading your post just reminded me of that. But hostile or not its true. Everyone else is pretty much telling you the same but all PC

Lainey says:

November 4, 2014 at 11:51 am

@ExoticVA-SB your reading comprehension is questionable for a college student. I mentioned not relying on a SD, it was @Elaine that implied that we were both teen moms. But that’s neither here nor there.

It all sounds like BS to me. Good job everyone for eating it up.

Being a young mother myself. Im just saying your not ready because you can’t even take care of yourself or your child. You’re dependent on your family and will thereafter be dependent on a man. OF COURSE there are SBs like you and SDs that will help and some that will use the advantage to manipulate you.

I wasnt saying you will have an SD around your child implying you’re a poor mother. I was saying it because your every breath will depend on him, be grateful to him and you will no doubt blur that line.

I suggest you repeat this to yourself daily “MY child, MY responsibility!” Do not get involved until you understand that and act upon it.

@Lainey-Give it up, you are just arguing with yourself now.

LadyScarlettsays:

You ain’t right, Lainey…

Laineysays:

Also when reading Exotics post remember that I am not the only one who smelled a wiff of desperation and suggested she should get on her own two feet first. I’m just the easy target because I’m direct or abrasive. But if she is not upset about it ask yourself “WHY ARE YOU?”

Drama ensues when women feel the need to fight others battles that they are more than capable of fighting themselves. Super-Hags (oh wait there’s that implied cape reference again) 😉

Laineysays:

@LadyScarlett you addressed ME. I attempted to dismiss it on more than one occasion. So like I said before for someone who is “SOOOOOO against draaaammmaaa” you sure find a way to keep it going. Furthermore, you can’t comment on someone’s character and then when they wisdom your comprehension CRY that they are slinging insults. Lmao. So many victims on these blogs. So many pathetic female stereotypes

I meant, that I did not use actual examples from her original post.

My apologies to exotic, but Lainey really needs to stop with the crazy on here.

LadyScarlettsays:

Did the original poster say she was desperate. No. You assumed, or, in your case, inferred that(will give you that). You are mistaken, in that I used just as many examples that were taken from her original post. Your interpretation of my posts is as limited as your knowledge of moot and it’s definition, or original origins and UK reference. Since I did not find exotic desperate, or sponging off of everyone, as you did, I found your argument irrelevant.

I am not scared of bullies, or admitted sociopaths on blog, or otherwise, so perhaps, you should put
your aggression away, instead of suggesting I put a cape away(that was weird).

Now, please move on as I have no desire to lower myself to your level any longer.

Southern, I agree! Why argue with someone who is not capable of having a debate without name calling and insulting.

Elainesays:

@Petite

“Lainey is a self-admitted sociopath- she’s not going to care that she hurts your feelings or says things that are purposefully derisive. She mentioned in a previous blog that she finds amusement in creating that kind of conflict. If you don’t like her advice/opinion, move on from it because it’s not in her personality to back down– it’s only going to make her say things that are decidedly more nasty if you try to come back with a (completely rational) retort.”

Thanx for reminding!
I think this should be re-posted every now and then., so new bloggers are warned upfront and will know this is not the standard here and they should not take her serious.

Sociopaths are pathetic liars, knowing this will make it easier for them to value her posts and “advice”.
It is fantasywriting, as I tried to explain earlier to @Exotic.

Better read it, shrugh your shoulders, feel deep pity, and move on.

Laineysays:

@LadyScarlett I believe I said before that they are just OPINIONS. You were trying to use general examples to support yours, while I was using actual examples from the original poster to support mine. Did not know FACT was debatable. My approach may have been but not the points that I made. And I apologized for my approach to the person it mattered HER NOT YOU! So remove your cape and retire it.

SouthernSBsays:

Did all my US people remember to vote? Hope so since there is so much that is going to affect the lives of all of us.

SouthernSBsays:

At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if ExoticVA was scared away due to all the judging, arguing and craziness brought forth by Lainey. It really doesn’t matter if ExoticVA has all her stuff together, all she really has to do is be true to herself and stay on her p’s and q’s and vett, vett, vett, and she’ll be able to find a SD that won’t exploit her. Really, we are all suppose to be adults here so why is it that every other day we end up acting like a bunch of 13 yr. old girls?

LadyScarlettsays:

You’re welcome on the lesson today, now I really must go. Hope you will be more challenging to debate with another time.

Ciao

Petitesays:

@All
Lainey is a self-admitted sociopath- she’s not going to care that she hurts your feelings or says things that are purposefully derisive. She mentioned in a previous blog that she finds amusement in creating that kind of conflict. If you don’t like her advice/opinion, move on from it because it’s not in her personality to back down– it’s only going to make her say things that are decidedly more nasty if you try to come back with a (completely rational) retort.

Sincerely,
A person who would much rather see advice and stories than pointless arguments

@LadyScarlett You called me judgemental, amongst other things. I called you illiterate. To-mate-o, to-maa-to.. po-tate-o, po-taa-to

gtt_envysays:

FWIW, I prefer single moms!!

LadyScarlettsays:

You suggested an idea or possibility that she was in a ‘desperate’ situation, which in my opinion, she was not. Are you mentally stable, or just generally an angry and nasty person. Let’s keep our debates without calling names or insulting, shall we. Is that ‘man’ enough for you? To rise above that and be civil?

No @LadyScarlett, the points you gave were moot! You’re welcome to stop responding to me at any time now since you’re SOOOOOOOO against draaaammmaaa

LadyScarlettsays:

I did comment that I disagreed with your assessment and gave reasons why, which made sense, but your insults on reading comprehension disabilities and insults for those who disagree with you isn’t exactly debating now, is it. You really should take your own advice…an opinion and respecting opinions of others without name calling and insults might assist your cause.

Laineysays:

@LadyScarlett I’m aware. They were my words sweetheart. Have you an original thought in that head?

Laineysays:

@SugarSpicey I agree with both you and @Elaine on the kid thing. But not too soon and in the event of an emergency an SD who didn’t mind may be more understanding. BUT Where it will become a sign of desperation is if she is as open with her SD as she was with us.

LadyScarlettsays:

As is yours, Lainey…just YOUR opinion.

Laineysays:

LadyScarlett says:
November 4, 2014 at 1:16 pm

“Oh gosh….drama”

If you didn’t agree with my opinion than you should not have commented on it and a debate would not have ensued. Stop being captain save a SB. She is very capable of speaking for herself. You don’t want drama? Then stop engaging in it. Rather simple concept

LadyScarlettsays:

If having a child makes you less sexy to a man, then it is probably not the man for you, anyways, or is most likely a man who does not have any children. Then, there are the younger guys who love their MILFs, so there you go.

I can totally see the argument for not disclosing your children or child status. There are some men who do not want to know, and want a purely ‘fantasy’ type arrangement that is off limits to the real-world. While there are other SD’s who want a more traditional type relationship and want to know all about you, but maybe not too many details…those are the ones you could mention, if they ask or you feel safe telling. As long as you do not act like you ‘need’ the allowance or are desperate, then having a child should not matter, really. Am not saying you should put it in your profile or tell ever man you meet, on SA. It should be information that you only disclose to a select few.

Laineysays:

*gave

Laineysays:

@LadyScarlett I’m saying I have the advice to HER in particular. What is with woman not staying on the topic at hand. We are not taking about PAST posts or PAST situations just like we are not talking about 30 yr old Europeans with GREAT jobs who stay with their family. Stop grasping at moot straws to try to make your opinion more valid. It’s not necessary for an opinion is JUST THAT, an opinion

Many SBs have suggested that women do not depend on a man for their rent, if they cannot pay for it themselves. It is common advice given here, actually, by SBguru and Elaine all the time.

LadyScarlettsays:

Oh gosh….drama

Laineysays:

@LadyScarlett I suggested that so THANK YOU! And you’re virally not reading my posts so might as well stop replying to them. Now I see why men just shut up in an argument. Women are too dense and have selective hearing AND reading apparently.

What is up with these foreign guys wanting an American girl?! I received an email today from a man in Australia. He wants me to visit him for 3 weeks and I’d receive 10k… No, thanks.

LadyScarlettsays:

@Lainey, perhaps, SA should send out mass emails suggesting that all college SB’s, who live off their parent’s dime, in their home, or help with any of their bills, so that they are not financially independent, should quit SA or delete their accounts.

I don’t really see why a single mother, going to college in Europe, living with her relatives(like many single mothers and college SBs do), should be judged so harshly….there are much worse scenarios on this site. At least she is trying and has goals. As long as she is selective, and does not let her desire to live on her own straight away, cloud her judgement on being selective and finding a good SD, then she
should be fine. Not sure why you are being so nasty about it. She never said she was desperate, and the fact that she is living with relatives, while in college is the VERY reason why she is NOT desperate for rent, but only desires to have an SD pay her rent, which is perfectly reasonable, but like someone else suggested, make sure she can pay it herself, first, which she admitted was smart thinking.

SouthernSBsays:

@SpiceyGuru
See that’s one perk of being 20 years older than you and playing no-drama girlfriend instead of fantasy woman. Everything that’s going to fall has fallen and my SDs are at an age where they no longer mind that.

Laineysays:

@SouthernSB she didn’t need help. She needs a life-support. MAJOR difference. I’m actually fairly disappointed in the fact that there are so many successful independent SBs in this blog that are condoning she be a leech

Laineysays:

@SouthernSB yet another woman with poor reading comprehension. They dint watch her now and then and she didn’t move alone. She LIVES WITH FAMILY. and I made the Dame point that some SD will want to genuinely help her but she will run into others that will use her desperation as an advantage. My suggestion is get her shit together more so than she does now so she doesn’t spending her entire life relying on someone. From the information she posted she has yet to be independent. From family to man to overseas family to SD. Its just not smart. She need to stand on her own two feet first. No one is saying go be a millionaire and then you’ll be ready. I’m saying have at least one independent bone in your body

SouthernSBsays:

Geez @Lainey, what’s the difference between wanting an SD to help you out with your student loans or having an SD help you out with your rent or groceries? In the end you are still having a man help you out.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Reasons not to tell strange men from the internet that you have a child (shocked I have to clarify this):

1. There are men who come to SA with the specific intent to find single, desperate moms and exploit them. You make yourself a target.
2. This is your SD. You create a delightful fantasy world, he is generous. Do not confuse this for a relationship where your SD is fine with you cancelling due to sick kid. You say “mom” he hears “unreliable”.
3. You weaken your bargaining position by making it seem that you “need” sugar. Much better to “want” sugar and be prepared to walk if your wants aren’t met.
4. Disclosing because you don’t have a flat tummy and you’re rocking stretchmarks is not hot, mix in a situp and a spray tan! I’m a mom 10 years older than you and men are shocked when they find out!

SouthernSBsays:

Frankly, @Lainly I don’t know what the big deal is, men help women with all kinds of things and I think that ExoticVA isn’t all that beyond the pale. I’ve been on this site and one other site for a little over a year and I’ve read a lot of profiles where women talk about the fact that they have children. Now I’m not saying that it’s smart to talk about your kids since there a sickos all over the world, but some SDs want to date women with children because they have “white knight” syndrome. Also, I think that any woman who has the courage to up and move to Europe all by herself with her kid to expand her horizons and go to school, pretty much has her stuff together. As for needing money to drive her car, that’s just a little thing, gas is notoriously expensive in Europe. One of the perks of living in America is that we pay close to nothing in gas. ExoticVA came here for advice, not to be lamblasted because she has her family babysit every now and then. Heck I just got finished babysitting my granddaughter Halloween night so my daughter and her live-in could go out to the club themselves.

Laineysays:

” In some parts of Europe, it is also very common for both men and women, to live with their parents up into or almost their 30′s. How do I know? I used to live there and saw it, and they had great jobs. It is often the case that housing is more expensive(much more), than US”

@LadyScarlett but THIS is NOT her reality. So adding this tidbit only distracts from the FACTS.

Laineysays:

@LadyScarlett I’m not saying there is anything wrong with her being in college and living with family. I’m saying youre praising her like she is doing something EXCEPTIONAL. This is how delusion ensues. There are polar opinions here. Mine, which seems judgemental but realistic and yours which is undue praise for, dare I call it, mediocrity.

LadyScarlettsays:

She is in college…many college students live with their family members–even ones without children. In some parts of Europe, it is also very common for both men and women, to live with their parents up into or almost their 30’s. How do I know? I used to live there and saw it, and they had great jobs. It is often the case that housing is more expensive(much more), than US. Speaking broadly and relatively. She is being honest, that it probably would have been easier for her to stay and live a more comfortable(and cheaper) life, in US, where she stated that MOST of her family resides. And, I agree with that. I don’t think it is very becoming to be so judgmental, when you only have a snippet of information and not the whole story.

Brave and taking a leap? I’m sorry I dont see hopping from family member to family member as brave. That’s no different than her moving from VA to CA to stay with an aunt.

LadyScarlettsays:

I have read much BS on the blog, but what she stated sounded pretty realistic and reasonable. She is in college overseas, and is brave for taking that leap with her daughter, in my opinion. If she chooses to have an SD to help her, then she certainly will not be the first single mother(whether in desperate need or not), to have a man help her out, while in college.

Laineysays:

@ExoticVA-SB your reading comprehension is questionable for a college student. I mentioned not relying on a SD, it was @Elaine that implied that we were both teen moms. But that’s neither here nor there.

It all sounds like BS to me. Good job everyone for eating it up.

Being a young mother myself. Im just saying your not ready because you can’t even take care of yourself or your child. You’re dependent on your family and will thereafter be dependent on a man. OF COURSE there are SBs like you and SDs that will help and some that will use the advantage to manipulate you.

I wasnt saying you will have an SD around your child implying you’re a poor mother. I was saying it because your every breath will depend on him, be grateful to him and you will no doubt blur that line.

I suggest you repeat this to yourself daily “MY child, MY responsibility!” Do not get involved until you understand that and act upon it.

LadyScarlettsays:

That post was for ExoticVA-SB

LadyScarlettsays:

“@Elaine thank you for understanding. I also think that it is better to be upfront about it because they will figure it out once I take my clothes off anyway. I have a few stretchmarks on my hips. You had a valid point about relying on a SD for material things, and that probably wasn’t a realistic thought lol. I guess I will have to get my own apartment when I get a well paid job after College. Just thought it would be nice if a man offered to help haha!”

There are men/SDs who want to help, and genuily care, but you have to be patient sometimes(just a heads up). And, I certainly disagree that you are not ready to sugar, if you so choose. In fact, the act of you seeking advice and guidance on the matter, before you do, actually shows maturity and thoughtfulness. There is no reason why a single mother should be judged for being on SA, based on her family background or their ‘having it together’ or not. Who are we to judge here, if you have it together? That is your call, but you seem like a mature woman, for 23. And, much more thoughtful than some of the girls who post here or are completely self-absorbed.

You want a better life for you and your child, and are taking quite a brave move moving to. Europe for a better life, on your own. I respect that, and so do many men. I did the same thing, and completely understand where you are coming from. What you are doing takes guts, so you have that covered. Don’t let anyone discourage you in what you want for you and your daughter. However, before you start searching for an SD, my advice would to be never be in a place of desperation as that can skew or choices…Make sure you are in a comfortable place financially, and not feeling overwhelmed, first(not saying that is the case, but desperation for rent and sugaring is never a good combo for anyone, even women who are experienced here).

I would also agree with Elaine that a general mention of having a young child is fine, since the SD might not want a single mother, so that saves him from finding out later and ending things. You do not have to give details or the sex/age of the child. Just a comment that you are a mother to a younger child, just in case that is a problem, you wanted to let him know early. Of course, you could wait a few dates to reveal that, if it made you feel more comfortable.

Please feel free to as any questions or for help, in the future, as many girls and guys on here will try to help with no judgements, but will often give various opinions, which can be helpful in determining which path to take, maybe.

If I read one more profile of guys in my area stating they don’t want to be a SD, just nice dinners and maybe a trip… WHAT is this site for??? Go to match.com PLEASE!!!

MizUndaStoodsays:

Why would I NOT reveal I have a child to a POT? If he is going to be enriching my life, my child is clearly a part of it. I do not regret nor feel bad about bringing another life into this world. And no, my child is not an influence on me being available to a POT, for sugaring and parenting, those are separate things. Just like I would not have a BF dictate my every move and second of a day, why would a SD? Caring for my child is my responsibilty and my priority, but luckily, I have a nanny available to help me with the parenting load. She has always cared for him when I travel and when I not home for dates and overnights, she actually supports the SD/SB world. Not the usual situation of most, but if I were asked, I have MY situation handled. If a POT has issues with me being a mother, then lying about it or covering up the truth would not be an acceptable way to start anything period.

ExoticVA-SBsays:

@Lainey actually I did not move to Europe so that my family can take care of my daughter and I. Most of my family actually lives in the US. I came here because I wanted something different, a new experience. I have visited my family here for years and I like Europe better than the US. I wanted to broaden my horizons.

I am not a teen mom. I am 23 and my child is just under a year old. I was actually engaged but like I said, I chose a different life for myself and I have faith that I will find a respectable job here in Europe once I get my degree. It’s not easy but this is my life, I purposely chose to leave the comfortable life I had in the US because I just had a feeling that I was meant to do something bigger.

My child could have easily stayed with her father but I chose to bring her with me, growing up in Europe is something that I want for her. You do not know how much I adore Europe and the lifestyle over here.The fun thing about Europe is that all the countries are just a drive away, who wouldn’t want to live here?

Where is your child when you are out there sugaring? and how to you have your life “all the way together”?

@Elaine thank you for understanding. I also think that it is better to be upfront about it because they will figure it out once I take my clothes off anyway. I have a few stretchmarks on my hips. You had a valid point about relying on a SD for material things, and that probably wasn’t a realistic thought lol. I guess I will have to get my own apartment when I get a well paid job after College. Just thought it would be nice if a man offered to help haha!

I don’t see the danger of telling you have a kid, just don’t give any details and don’t talk about it any further.

Love Gurusays:

@Elaine,

What is your reasoning behind the suggestion to reveal her child to the random POT, upfront?

Elainesays:

@ Lainey

If I call you a teen mum, that is because this is what you shared with us in your older posts. How else would I know?

Sorry if you are not able to remember all the nonsense you have been writing.
I might be a “granny”, but I have a very sharp memory, combined with a faultless radar (and intolerance) for BS.
Maybe it would be easier for you if you would refrain from fantasy writing and would stick to the truth?

In that case you would be far more interesting, other bloggers would take you more serious and appreciate it when you write things that make sense, as you sometimes do.
You are absolute not dumb, but you make yourself look ridiculous with your contradicting stories and aggressive approach.

Love Gurusays:

@Elaine,

Why is your reasoning behind the suggestion to reveal her child to the POT, upfront?

Laineysays:

@Elaine I’m not a teen mom. Doesn’t matter how much you say it, it won’t be true but thanks for trying and she did NOT move to broaden her horizons. She moved because she had family there and they are currently taking care of her child so she can go to school. Please don’t be as naive as she is.

My bad I’ll turn it down a notch @ExoticVA-SB. It’s just that our generation is the pits and reading your post just reminded me of that. But hostile or not its true. Everyone else is pretty much telling you the same but all PC

If you do post your id here, you want to post using a different blog I’d so that information shared thus far is not related to the id. Play safe…

Love Gurusays:

What’s up with “Exotic” in your id?

Elainesays:

@ ExoticVA-SB

Please don’t pay attention to what @Lainey says,and don’t get scared away by her aggressive approach.
She is a fantasywriter and a teen mom herself.

You don’t seem stubborn to me, yes maybe young, maybe naive, but as far as I have understood from your first post, you are trying to gain information before you join the sugarbowl, and that is smart.
You are working hard and came to Europe to broaden your horizon and that is brave.
I am sure there is SDs who appreciate a smart girl and will make your life a little easier.
Here Lainey was making sense; don’t rely on an SD for things such as an appartment, because he can be gone tomorrow and you will be left with financial obligations you are not able to support by yourself.

Indeed I would not explicitly talk about your kid to (pot) SDs.
You never know, this world is full of weirdo’s.
But I have never really heard SDs in general having problems with you being a mother, as long as you are desirable and available they don’t mind.
You can tell you have a kid, and that is all you say about the subject. Basta.

When you have finished your profile, you can post your profilenumber here for comments.

Succes!

Laineysays:

NO @ExoticVA-SB, I’m suggesting YOU shouldn’t be a SB because of baggage. We are very close in age and I have a young child but my life is ALL THE WAY TOGETHER which is what I suggest you do with yours before entering sugar. And please don’t feed anyone that “no time for a real relationship” BS when you have time to have your family watch your kid so you can go out with friends. You NEED the money. If you’re going to write on this blog at least be truthful. Too many of us can see through bs.

“Anyone with young children requires friends and family to babysit while away so that concept is nothing new.”

PERFECT example of why you aren’t ready. You sound like an less-fortunate yet entitled young girl.

ExoticVA-SBsays:

@SBG I didn’t buy my car here, I brought it with me from the US. I didn’t mention that on my profile either, I was just giving you all some background info on me. I am paying for it myself but the whole point of my rant was that it’s expensive.

@Lainey I do not even let strange men in real life near my child, so you are wrong. I study really hard to get my degree and I also work so I don’t really have time for a full-time relationship which is why an arrangement would work better for me. Yes, I go out with friends for drinks and dinner … maybe three times a month but clubbing? No because I’m not into that kind of thing. Are you suggesting that any girl with young children shouldn’t be a SB because of the baggage?

@FlyR I am very grateful for my family and I understand your point of me being with someone and having my family watch her for me, but how else do you think that other SB’s with children do it? Anyone with young children requires friends and family to babysit while away so that concept is nothing new.

Laineysays:

@ExoticVA-SB the is a difference between sugar dating because you appreciate and DEMAND a certain type of man and bring shear female amazingness to the table, as opposed to having baggage overload, not being able to manage you financial situation and using sugar as a gateway drug to prost*tution. Get your life together before bringing another individual into the chaos. Do not take advantage of your family in that manner (although you probably club or go out with friends already). And DO NOT base your independence on the help of a SD. Here today gone tomorrow and by the despair in your post I can already tell you will have the SD around your child (please don’t comment to refute this. NO ONE will believe you).

You’re not ready!

Of course you will disregard this and try it anyway and make all the mistakes outlined above despite how hard you try because your young, naive and stubborn. Good luck to you!

flyRsays:

@SB guru – I second both not mentioning the child and the Mustang. Exotic should also take stock of her current situation. It sounds like she has an incredibly fortunate situation with a family accepting she and her child. Mixing sugar drama might be the wrong thing. Is she expecting the family to babysit while she is out playing? Too many people confuse good fortune with entitlement.

However, I would like to hear comments on how to handle the situation when the SB is lactating.

I was put off by such revelation by one SB after her clothes were off and I made my move to her…

SugarBabyGurusays:

ExoticVirgina – Do not mark “yes” that you have children in your profile. Do not talk about your children with POT SDs. Do not talk about your children on the blog. This is the internet, and this is a site that is filled with especially lecherous men (more so than traditional dating sites where men get immediately banned for misbehavior) letting men on this site know that you have children gives them tools for taking advantage of you, and talking about buying a Ford Mustang when you live in Europe already shows that you’re prone to bad decisions.

Joshsays:

@Lainey,

“@ExoticVA-SB how old are you?”

😉

Laineysays:

@ExoticVA-SB how old are you?

ExoticVA-SBsays:

Hey everyone,

I am not new to the website nor the blog but I have been “lurking” on here for about a year now (on and off) and I have finally decided to jump into the sugarbowl. I feel like I have done enough reading so… here I am.

I am actually from the US, Virginia to be exact but moved to Europe a year ago for Uni. I also have some family here.

I do have a child and I am curious how to go about it. I did tick off “Yes” on my profile so it’s no secret. Do I talk about her if someone asks? Obviously I do not have the perfect flat tummy but I would still describe myself as slim. I am 1 m 66 cm and weigh 58 kilo’s. Do SD’s usually show interest in SB’s that have a child?

I live with family and they help me out with my daughter a lot while I go out there to get my degree and I work on the weekends too (It’s not easy), but I hope to one day rent my own apartment (possibly with the help of a SD). I also brought my 2007 mustang here but it’s almost impossible for me to drive it because driving a car here is expensive (taxes, insurance, gas).

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

Thanks Kirsten, There are A LOT of the same profile pics on the ArrangementFinders site recruitment page is why I asked…

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

Quick question for all…is it arrangementfinders that is the newer site SA launched? I keep getting solicitation emails and I’m not sure where they got the email address and SA is the only place I can figure!

Kirstensays:

@OnlineNewbie – no Perfect Arrangement is. ArrangementFinders is not affiliated with SA.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@flyR Ok. Makes sense thanks. So far, we are emailing and of course he wants to see pics of my feet. I am limiting the pic exchange to 1 or 2 as I am not interested in a pic collector. Once we meet and if things are great, I would keep in touch and pique his interests with more pics and suggestive foot porn. I really am a fun chick, just have to find the right guy to have fun with!

flyRsays:

Time is an issue . Perhaps you have some kind of arrangement for the pedicure and such and leave the if open. If it were a conventional SB first meet in a travel location for me there would be some discussions about expectations if we decide to proceed further that day or evening. However, there’s nothing wrong with winging it . You should make it clear that you have other obligations with your travel friends for the weekend.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@flyR sure but how soon and what should I expect from an out of town SD? Any arrangement will be talked about before meeting and then the rest of the arrangement will be contingent on when we do meet. I’d expect to move a little faster than usual, I am only in town to vacation for the weekend. I have made it clear to him that I am up to spending some hours with him and engaging in the fetish, but I do have other plans for my weekend. I would hate to get there and have him think I am devoting my whole trip to his foot love. LOL! But should I also discuss my expectations as well or should I lay it out and help him find an ATM when I get there?

Flyr: If it is Taken 3, it will be a Lifetime movie spectacular worth more than $500.

flyRsays:

Rebecca – can I buy the TV rights to the trip story for $500

MizUndaStoodsays:

Found a SD with a foot fetish who has agreed to meet when I travel to Vegas in a couple of weeks. Should I request spending money while visiting with him or just settle for a nice lunch, foot massage, pedicure, and a couple new pairs of pumps? He knows I am traveling, only plan on spending a few hrs of my trip with him, and his fetish is NOT sexual, but if he’s a good boy, I’d get him off with my feet. Maybe fondle a boob…

think I know the exact man you are speaking with. He viewed my profile a few months ago….if it is who I think it is, then his profile even looks fraudulent.

Rebeccasays:

Lady: Midwest

Rebeccasays:

Lady: Thanks, I will write it in the next email.

42: Yes, I know I am coming off naive. It is switching from, “Oh, I am completely safe. I know the guy’s identity and everything” to “But knowing his identity doesn’t mean he isn’t a serial killer!!!” Trust me, I am the queen of anxiety. He is a CEO of an oil company, but I can’t verify his net worth. And yes, the CC issue is a big red flag. I will bring it up next time. I keep seeing on these flight sites that they aren’t refundable, so if he booked the flight for the original time, he wouldn’t have gotten him money back, I assume. Hopefully asking for a gift before the trip will show how generous he is. I had another guy cancel on me and he provided a $300 gift card.

I don’t know why he wants someone who is in the USA rather than Spain. He only knows 2 languages, English and the native language in his home country. He is not in Spain for work. Some guys only prefer non-local since they won’t be in your hair once they leave.

LadyScarlettsays:

Rebecca, are you located in the south, by chance?

42SWMsays:

Faking an e-mail is as easy as typing a word document. The fact that they are plain just means that he spent little time on it.

I don’t think he is a “master villain”. He is either an idiot for exposing his business contacts to you in this way or he is fraud who manufactured fake e-mails to persuade you. If he is a fraud, he isn’t particularly clever about it. Either way, it doesn’t make a positive future for the two of you very likely.

A master villain would have you swooning.

Your postings don’t irritate, but they are surprising naive. Either that, or you aren’t being sincere yourself.

Seriously, a double digit millionaire can’t buy a plane ticket because his credit card is tapped out? Last minute conferences that force rescheduling? Lack of English-speaking girls in Spain?

P.S. Money can always be returned if you don’t like the guy or feel that keeping it would be wrong somehow.

LadyScarlettsays:

Rebecca, don’t think anyone is irritated but worried about you wasting time on someone who appears to be a fraud. I wish I had read the blog or had another experienced SB to help me, when I first started.

There is a difference in scamming SDs and accepting partial allowance for a long journey to someone whom you have never met, yet fully intend to enter an arrangement with. So, am not happy you did not accept. It would have helped prove whether this guy was real or not, yes?

If I were to ask for some sort of good faith, then would say, due to the cancellations(maybe, you took off work already, who knows), then would like to have half of allowance sent to you or even full amount, since you have put so much trust in him without ever having met. Just say you changed your mind about his previous offer to wire allowance to you and see what he says. It cannot hurt.

Rebeccasays:

42: Yes, emails can be faked, but I honestly do not see him doing this. The emails aren’t just plain where you change the dates and that’s it. He is not a spring chicken who has great computer skills. I don’t think he is some master villain like in Taken. He doesn’t get nudes from me and I have cut down on long conversations since the plane ticket trouble. I probably won’t Skype with him and have another 2.5 hour call until he books the ticket.

He said he could send some extra money for any “travel expenses” before the trip, but I didn’t want to feel trapped accepting his money if I decided to change my mind. You guys always complain about coming off as a ~rinser~, so be glad I didn’t accept it :P.

If you wanted a “good faith” gift from him due to canceling, how would you word it?

I’ll cut back on posting about it on here since it seems to irritate.

LadyScarlettsays:

Rebecca, if you are real, then this guy is a fraud. I have wanted some of past potential SDs to be real, based on what I ‘thought’ they were and promises, but reality(and their actions) told me otherwise. This guy is wasting your time. Don’t you know if he is that good, then he can forge past emails and change dates?

With that being said, I did have an SD once, who kept postponing meets, but we would just email or talk a bit in between, and he eventually did come to my city to meet me, first(he offered to fly me to his city, but wanted to meet him where I lived, first, just to make sure we had attraction). After our meet, he then flew me to his city and we had a nice time because I knew what to expect. He was a very busy guy who travelled a lot, so this can happen…but, he never wasted my time, in between meets, or tried getting attention from me before we met. And, I knew he was real because he sent a very nice birthday present, when he had to cancel one of his times. He should at least give you some sort of good faith present or allowance like you turned down….why did you turn down his offer to send some of the allowance?

42SWMsays:

Any man who forwards professional e-mails to a potential SB is either a fraud or an idiot. Neither option is particularly desirable for a SD. The over/under is still fraud. The internet is filled with fraudulent e-mails. I probably receive 2-3 e-mails each day asking me to take on a certain case. The company names are real. The e-mails are however 100% bogus.

@ Rebecca

Sure!

Rebeccasays:

@Lady: Yes. I would link to the oil conference, but there are super sleuths on here.

LadyScarlettsays:

“Rebecca says:
November 3, 2014 at 7:00 am
The Spain trip is postponed. He has a conference to go to now. At least he forwarded all the professional emails to prove it. Might just be bumped to the 18th instead of next week.”

@y

Did you finish the list? How long did it take?

“…like kids in a candy shop”

Great list

Elainesays:

@ Rebecca

“He doesn’t speak much Spanish, so girls from Spain are not for him”

Rebecca wake up please…
Spain is not Afghanistan! A lot of people speak English in Spain!
Otherwise, how would he be able to do his business as CEO?
Not even to speak about the complete British “colonies” living in the coast area’s. Spain is full of Bristish.
And they use to speak something similar to American, raight? (@ Josh)

“We have video Skyped”

Ok, that is a plus as far as checking if his identity is in line with his name, pics and what you have Googled so far.
So he might indeed be a real person and be indeed be this gas&oil CEO.

But a friend of mine is an gas & oil mogul, (KMS knows him too) and believe me, I wouldn’t want to find myself in the shoes of any bankdirector or CC company refusing him to make any payment he wants at any moment he wants!
And if your Spanish guy has a networth of 50 mill. as you stated, I think someone at his bank must be sweating now!

Unfortunally I have been talking and Skyping to pot’s from SA, with verificable pictures, names and jobs, who poofed when it was the moment to fly me in somewhere to meet in person.
As other SBs I have been wondering; WHY poof if you were so eager to meet before?
(Even more when you are vulnerable because being a well known person???)

I figurred out the following reasons:

1. They are like kids in a candystore, and can’t make up their mind.
2. They are like kids in a candystore, and have changed their mind.
3. They are like kids in the candystore, and have seen other, more attractive candy.
4. They are like kids in the candystore, but they have no money to buy anything.
5. They are like kids in the candystore, with money, just not enough.
6. They are like kids in the candystore with money, but change their mind about
wanting to spend it on candy.
7. They are like kids in the candystore, but suddenly remember mama warned them to
only eat candies at home.
8. They are like kids in the candystore, wanting candies for free.
9. They are like kids in the candystore, and get cold feet when it is about consuming
the candy.
10.They are in the candystore only because of curiousity, never intended to buy
anything, so called windowshoppers!
11.They are in the candyshop because they feel lonely and want to talk to someone.
12.They are in the candyshop because they get off talking about candy with the sweet
salesgirl. (that would not give them any attention if she was not thinking they were
potential buyers)

Obnoxious in all cases, so whatever the reason, I hope all those sweets causes them heavy toothaches and the dentist will be a Russian female former heavy weightlifter.

LittleMissSunshinesays:

How can I direct more “traffic” to my profile? I was here like 4 years ago, got an SD pretty quickly (like in a month maybe?) and we were together for a couple of years. Now I’m back but I noticed things are very different.

flyRsays:

@ ys__pls – continued ……..

If you are seeking a sugar relationship then it’s REALLY important to have a firm sugar agreement before the panties hit the floor, preferably a half month sugar would precede the first encounter-either delivery or a promise .

she slept with me on the first meet, she must be trash.

It was great but I can not afford this on a continuing basis

I was just testing the water as I am thinking of upgrading

Laineysays:

@YSP2 but how long did you wait to host? I’ve never had a man I wasn’t committed to over (Backed out on SD yesterday. I got too overwhelmed and I’ve known him a year and a half). I was with my ex for a little short of a year before I even let him know where I lived.

Laineysays:

@Josh question: when the girl you regrettably let go was trying to convert you to sugar, how persistent was she?

LadyScarlettsays:

I think sugar meant false promises from a potential client(SD). No one likes false hopes or false promises. Perhaps, she meant the deals that new or new to the business hairdressers will often comp, in the hopes or promises that said person will become a recurring patron to their services.

Laineysays:

@Josh I went “Huh?” Too

LadyScarlettsays:

Do not care for any pussy thievery. Fancy the saying, ‘a little less talk a lot more action(show me the arrangement, Mr., and cut the flattery ;-p) Or, show me the money! Haha, remember that scene from ‘Jerry McGuire’, haha! Little Tom Cruise…imagine Tom yelling that at your SD (:

Joshsays:

“If you went to a salon, told the hairdresser what style you wanted, told her how great it was, added on a color, an eyebrow wax, and a deep conditioning treatment while talking about future services you plan to book you’d be stealing.”

Huh!

SugarBabyGurusays:

Scarlett – true, true, true! I call them pussy thieves. If you went to a salon, told the hairdresser what style you wanted, told her how great it was, added on a color, an eyebrow wax, and a deep conditioning treatment while talking about future services you plan to book you’d be stealing. How is it any different to lie to a woman for sex?

LadyScarlettsays:

@ys pls…or, he could just be a cad that has done that to many girls. All his lines about you are the one and such, and he wants an arrangement. Have had men say the same before, but would not sleep with them before an arrangement started(or, they never offered a real arrangement even after stating they wanted one and were sure, only the night before). Or, they poofed. Some of these single guys(married, too, but most often single) will play the field, in SA, with never a true intention have gifting an allowance, even if they do have the funds.

SugarBabyGurusays:

YS – There’s always a lie behind a poof at some level (I think). Either he lied about his interest in the conquest, or lied about his availability, or lied about how much he enjoyed himself.

I. Think my surgeon is conflicted about lying to his wife and uses me as a distraction. Your guy may be unmarried, but that doesn’t mean he’s single. Or, maybe the show he put on with you is his standard operating procedure and it was just a lie to get you in bed.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Rebecca – not leaving the hotel room in NYC for fear of gettinh lost is a perfrct example of “Not Ready”. It means you don’t feel self-sufficient enough to read a map, remember landmarks, ask for directions, and worse case scenario – clim in a taxi if lost.

Darling, I’ve had amazing, unreal sugar experiences, so I do know they happen, but your stories do not add up. Hope I am wrong and you have an amazing, sexy, lucrative trip to Spain but a CEO oil tycoon in Spain, with 7 cars, sending pics in every room of his house, without the ability to book an airline ticket – is more than just a bit far fetched.

I was just testing the water as I am thinking of upgrading”

I googled him and his business and he could afford it, he’s single, and I AM the upgrade. But I do take your point.

SugarBabyGurusays:

42 – You hit the nail on the head, he is married, conflicted, and insists he needs me to have real feelings for him. It isn’t a money issue, as I’m looking for a hot affair with him not an arrangement. My interest in “sugar” is more a knk and he’s a surgeon (verified 100%) so he fulfills a different kink curiosity.

LadyScarlettsays:

“He did offer to send the allowance money ahead of time, but I told him not to. I didn’t want to feel trapped if I accepted the money.”

Why would you say ‘no’ to this? This would prove something, but agree with many that this man seems like a fraud. Test him, and tell him you have changed your mind about sending the allowance now…see of he does it….

she slept with me on the first meet, she must be trash.

It was great but I can not afford this on a continuing basis

I was just testing the water as I am thinking of upgrading

Rebeccasays:

@Ys_plz: That happens even with 20 year old guys, so it is sad to see those games still happen when he is in his 40’s+! I have had that happen on normal dating and SA. I think some guys just love bullshitting and getting the person’s reaction in the moment of make believe.

flyRsays:

ceo of oil company and his credit card fails for prolonged periods. Short periods seem to be the norm today as there have been so many data breaches. If he is ceo of an oil company of any size he should be findable on google.

ys_pls_sir2says:

@Sugar: “Okay, so question this?

Why call me out of the blue, chit chat for an hour, tell me about how you cyber stalk (in a cute, but time consuming manner) my social media profiles, that I am the “most fascinating person” you’ve ever met, ask me to dinner, then go radio silent?

This stupid guy does this every few months, then comes back months later and takes me to a totally platonic dinner, photo-begs for a few weeks, then goes silent again. WTF?”

Sugar, if you figure out why men do the disappearing act, let me know. When I first started, I had a SD pursue me saying how perfect he thought I was (we had been corresponding for some time) and so he finally visited where I live so we could meet. We had a fantastic date – high end restaurant with champagne and the best wine, etc. He plied me with compliments about how beautiful he thought I was. I even broke my first date rule for him and we spent a very hot night in his hotel room. He talked about relocating me to where he lived, and all the things he wanted to do for me, and that he was so taken with me. After that…nada. Zip. Radio silence. So if you figure it out, let me know!

Rebeccasays:

@Sugar: It wasn’t that I felt unsafe in NYC, but rather that I had anxiety about getting lost and didn’t want that added stress. I live in the country, so cities easily confuse me.
I never said that I believed that story. I was adding to the constant “Taken” comments people post on here.
Concerning local sugar, he doesn’t speak much Spanish, so girls from Spain are not for him. We have video Skyped. I asked him to take photos in every room of his house, the backyard, cars, etc. He is a CEO of an oil company that I have searched for hours to confirm, so his identity does not worry me, but I did not run a background check (Anyone know how? I only find USA websites), so maybe he has a record. He gave me his address and it checks out.
If I say I do look like a model, people will doubt me and laugh it off, so let’s just say I am not an ogre. ;). My profile is not “sexual”. My photos do not show any lingerie or breast photos, is what I mean.
He did offer to send the allowance money ahead of time, but I told him not to. I didn’t want to feel trapped if I accepted the money.
He says he will try again tomorrow to book my flights. If his credit card magically does not work again, I will move on. We’ll see!

42SWMsays:

SBG:
Some theories for what it is worth. The guy:
(1) doesn’t actually have any money so he is milking what he has;
(2) is married, or otherwise very conflicted by the idea of sugar and so he can’t move forward in a real way;
(3) has no life, and is very lonely and unable to relate to people; AND/OR
(4) is hoping you will fall in love with him and will forget about sugar.

Maybe a combination of all 4. Sounds creepy. Any man who spends time “photo begging” should be jettisoned post-haste.

42SWMsays:

Rebecca: There are many places in the world where you are better off just being like everyone else taking a cab than being dependent on a person you don’t know, staying in a room, limiting yourself to private cars, etc. Similarly, there are places where being perceived as the wealthy American is not a good idea.

I do think that female American college students are probably perceived as the easiest targets by those attempting things like kidnapping. People with money are generally targets as well. That is why being a VIP is something I would avoid in many places. I once found myself in a Polish bar having a good ‘ole time when I realized that everyone new I was American and that I was under the influence. Told my cousins it was time to go. Poland is pretty safe (and very pro-American). I was not a 20-25 year old girl. I was travelling with family. Yet, I realized that I was sticking out too much for comfort.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Okay, so question this?

Why call me out of the blue, chit chat for an hour, tell me about how you cyber stalk (in a cute, but time consuming manner) my social media profiles, that I am the “most fascinating person” you’ve ever met, ask me to dinner, then go radio silent?

This stupid guy does this every few months, then comes back months later and takes me to a totally platonic dinner, photo-begs for a few weeks, then goes silent again. WTF?

SugarBabyGurusays:

Rebecca – If you don’t feel confident walking by yourself in NYC and spent the whole time alone in the room, or if you aren’t comfortable wandering alone in another country, then you are not ready to fly to another country to meet an SD. If you believe someone’s online story that they were kidnapped from a taxi in Amsterdam (one of the safest cities in the world) and kept in an abandoned building, you are not ready to travel to another country to meet an SD. If you are worried about flying 13 hours in coach, you are not ready to fly to meet an SD.

Additionally, an SD in Spain who says he owns seven cars and then needs to fly in sugar from another country sounds like a HUGE catfish. If he has that kind of money he can easily find sugar locally and he doesn’t “use up” his credit card – I own one card, but AMEX would just float me an extension if I managed to go over my available balance and then they’d charge me an over limit fee.

You have said that your profile is not particularly sexy, so why would an SD want to fly you across the world to be with him if he isn’t assured of a sexy time? Are you a Perfect Ten model? If so, then why is he making you search out the tickets? If he’s stoked about you enough to pay first class fair, he’d be finding the ticket himself.

All of this sounds like a lure with no hook.

When I had someone book a flight to Europe for me we’d been talking for months. It was established that we had a mutual interest in sexy time, and there was no doubt about his house or his belongings – as I had Skyped with him in various places and seen that all his (affluent but reasonable) claims were true.

How many photos has he exchanged with you? How many have you sent him? Are your photos so perfectly hot that he can’t possibly get what you offer locally? The question is, if he’s what he says he is, why is he choosing you? IF he is choosing you, why not lock it down. NONE of this story makes any sense, whatsoever!

I’m not afraid of all these ridiculous “Taken” claims (if a man wants to kidnap a woman it’s much easier and much less trouble to get an Eastern European with no paper trail). I’m just telling you, either you are “chit chatting” as Josh suggests, or this guy is a catfish.

A trip to Spain is NOT forthcoming with this gentleman.

Rebeccasays:

42: I had someone online tell me that her and her sister were traveling to Amsterdam and took a cab. The cab driver ended up kidnapping them and then they were running out of a broken down building. I don’t know… pretty crazy story. The SD owns like 7 cars, so cabs will not be used and I don’t wander by myself. I flew to NYC to meet with a SD in the past and was left alone. I didn’t go exploring, just stayed in the room.

42SWMsays:

I think the Liam Neeson TAKEN movies are a type of public service. While I have no doubt that Europe (or at least the EU parts of Europe) are pretty safe for travelers. Many Americans are naive when it comes to how you can be in the wrong place at the wrong time in places like Dubai (which is otherwise quite nice) and other non-western countries. Particularly western college students who have filled their minds with how bad the west is, they can be in for quite a shock when they leave the protection of western-style rule of law.

@Clueless – think about what you want in an SB, what do you have to offer which differentiates you, ask for the order.

Ask for the order

Elainesays:

@CluelessSD

Messages that show the sender has read my profile and refers to something he found interesting, are guaranteed to be answered.

I might not interested after having seen his profile, but even in that case I will still send a friendly message back, thanking him and wishing succes.

Standard copy and paste messages I delete without even answer (ok ok, maybe I would make an exception for George Clooney look alikes 😉 ) and standard photo requests without any text or introduction get “Maybe if you would ask nicely?” as an answer.

The best openingline is referring to her personally.

And my experience with mailing to SDs is more or less the same.
The most successful are the ones with personal messages referring to what they told about themselves in their profile.
No better way of grabbing someones attention as using their own words!
AND : I only message to SDs who’s profiles I really find interesting and whom I think will be intrigued by my profile in return!

But it depends what you’re looking for of course, I search for quality.
When you are looking for quantity maybe my tactic is too timeconsuming and a smart oneliner will work better.

Rebeccasays:

There is a SD on here who has articles written about them saying the FBI is looking for them and has law suits from the Securities and Exchange Commission.. I brought it up to him and he said it was a couple lawsuits from disgruntled ex-partners and he bought them all out, so it is fine now.
O_O

What kind of opening lines with SBs at SA?

SDs: What specific types of opening messages have worked for you, and why?

SBs: What specific types of opening messages work on you, and why?

LadyScarlettsays:

@rebecca…yeah, Elaine pretty much summed it up. Don’t feel bad, I even had a pretty decent SD, from last year, who resurfaced, and acted like he wanted to start an arrangement with me again, but he was just tryng to ‘play’ me. So, even the ones who you actually have had an arrangement with can later turn out to be frauds or take advantage of your past kindness. Also, when I was new, a similar thing happened to me, in that a guy kept making false promises, so I would continue to chat with him online. They are sad men, who are lonely and ‘get off’ on any attention from a woman(kind of like a ‘free’ chat
sex line). I just did not know any better and was new. Now, you know, and your story and comments might prevent someone else who reads the blog from making the same mistake, so that is a positive.

Love Gurusays:

I am visiting a recreation marijuana state. It was an interesting day today. It may be even more interesting tomorrow. 😉

Elainesays:

@Rebecca

He is, en never was, intended to buy you tickets.
Probably he just gets off on talking with a young girl.

Let’s face it, Spain is in deep crisis, full of beautiful mediterrean women in financial need, and he wants it cheap.
Does it then makes sense to fly a girl in, at high costs, from tbe US??

I am sure you are a nice girl, but normally SDs do this only if you offer something they absolutely cannot find nearer.
They are businessmen, thinking in R.O.I. terms you see…
Next time, to avoid getting disappointed, ask yourself if what you offer, really cannot be found near him. If the answer is “no”, ok, THEN it could make sense and be real.
But for me it was all big red flags from the moment you posted about him…..

He is probably just one of those wannabee SDs.
Timewasters/tirekickers that have so massively joined SA lately.
Never intended to meet, full of false promises, giving girls false hopes, just to keep them hooked to spend time to talk to them.
Never realizing what false hope does to a woman and how it ruins her confidence and makes her suspicious towards the real and genuine SDs.
It is thanks to those cheap bastards that lack of confidences is now so common in sugar.
It is a negative development for all participants.

And believe me, some are really good and very convincing!
Last week I talked to one for some time myself, and only did realize he was a scam artist when I googled his emailadress and found him reported at 3 different online dating fraud sites!
So he was not even a smart fraud. 😉

He is an SA member already for 2 years….just saying…
Reported him, so let’s see what happens and if he gets blocked.

LOL! Disclaimer on my profile is I am a terrible housekeeper (sometimes)… Translation: once a week cleaner would be ideal! Oh SD where art thou??? LOL!

Laineysays:

SD is coming over for the first time EVER. I never had a man at my house. I’ve been scrubbing it top to bottom ALL DAY. To which my family cracked up saying my house is always immaculate. I’m still not done. Been cleaning since noon. Wasnt able to bleach my back patio. Hope he doesn’t notice. AAAAAHHHH!

“I am just going through my own “in heat” moment, nothing to see here! Ready to get a little action and meet someone new.”

Can relate to that. It’s kinda dangerous, actually lol. I would say that my libido is generally high, but even more so lately. Being left to my own devices isn’t as effective as it used to be. Am supposed to visit a friend soon. Kinda worried that I might let my libido do the thinking, and sleep with him. There’ll be no turning back after that…yikes! We’ve had a companionship for a couple years now, but have not had sex. I don’t think Ill be able to resist. I definitely don’t want to resist.

I really enjoy sensual erotica kind of sex, and I know that it would be amazing with him.

“The guy who messaged me with 6 smiley faces was a joke post. I know what he was referencing and am aware.”

Gotcha. It was the smilies (smileys?) that would’ve sent me running, but maybe that was already given. “S-thing wink, wink” definitely slimy.

Anyway, I just think that with the Dubai guy, the assumption you made is short sighted. Even if your assumption is correct that he is trying to push it to make you pick a cheaper ticket, it seems a bit manipulative. Honestly think it would have been legitimate for him to hold firm on a coach ticket to someone he’s never met. If he is real, he might be questioning his investment to your motives despite that you may mean well.

MizUndaStoodsays:

I am just going through my own “in heat” moment, nothing to see here! Ready to get a little action and meet someone new. My coffee date never panned out, he had to many “meetings” so he said. But he was also looking for a hook up friend, no real talk of an arrangement anyway. Not in the mood to entertain his schedule now anyway. Although his lips were very sexy…

“I think you are opening up a can of worms stating the obvious like that. I wouldn’t.”

I agree. These are subtleties that can be conveyed in your writing. Lainey (not to call her out) gave some great pointers on how to make your profile speak sensually or sexily. Too much to find it on my phone, but maybe someone else can paste it. Last blog topic, keyword “covers” or “bed” maybe.

MizUndaStoodsays:

LOL! I took out some things and added more “suggestive” undertones. I also said I was seeking a guy 45+. Maybe??? We shall see…

Rebeccasays:

@Miz: I think you are opening up a can of worms stating the obvious like that. I wouldn’t. I don’t have any sexual on my profile. I view it as quality over quantity, but it isn’t perfect. I did just get a message from a guy talking about blow jobs in his first message to me..

MizUndaStoodsays:

I am very forward and sexual experienced. Once we meet, if there is a connection, I am willing to gratify your needs as long as mine are met as well.

Would adding this to my profile seem to slutty? I feel like I did a good job of making my profile to “good girl” that I am being passed up? If I am going to be objectified anyways on this site, I might as well make the best of it, no?

@Yougottabekidding me: The guy who messaged me with 6 smiley faces was a joke post. I know what he was referencing and am aware.

“Messy situation. Doesn’t have his finances in order. I assume he is trying to push it so I pick a cheaper coach flight out of desperation.”

In light of all that you’ve shared, and considering that you didn’t next the last guy at smiley face number 3 (let alone 6?!)…

Rebecca, please save yourself from yourself. Such gullibility/naivety and lack of intuition can be detrimental. Further, you might also consider the expectations you’ve placed on this seemingly reasonable offer.

ys_pls_sir2says:

@Rebecca: I’m so sorry that this guy turned out to be a dud. In my experience, 75% or more don’t deliver on promises and are disingenuous. I wish I could take them by their collective collar and shake them into understanding the impact that has on us. It’s disrespectful, and erodes our trust in any type of relationship.

I by no means paint all with the same brush, but at some point it makes us excessively cautious.

Rebeccasays:

@42, You’re probably going to predict the future correctly..

42SWMsays:

I am not “against” travelling for a first meet in all circumstances, but this guy does not have his act together. He is not real, i.e. he is either not serious about actually meeting and/or he isn’t really a SD. Who “uses up” a credit card? Who doesn’t have multiple credit cards available? I don’t have a net worth in the hundreds of millions or even tens of millions, but there isn’t a moment where I am unable to buy a $3k plane ticket. There is definitely something rotten about this guy in Spain.

My prediction: This guy will drop off for a while, and then reconnect while being extremely apologetic. In the end he will never meet, and will just waste Rebecca’s time.

This is the SD version of a no show, only with the added dimension of international travel plans.

Rebeccasays:

Hi, guys. I talked more with the Spain SD. He now says he must have used up his CC while he was in the states, so that’s why it wasn’t going through when trying to book the tickets last night. He said he will try on Monday. I told him by then that there won’t be any tickets left, just ones that are 30 hours long. He said it wasn’t a problem, just more expensive. Yeah.. okay.

Messy situation. Doesn’t have his finances in order. I assume he is trying to push it so I pick a cheaper coach flight out of desperation.

@Rebecca – it seems like several people’s spidey senses are going off with this guy, including mine. We all just want you to be safe. Listen to your gut and let us know how it turns out please.

LadyScarlettsays:

Rebecca…am not against travelling to a potential SD for the first time, if you are clever about it and experienced, but this guy sounds like a fraud. It doesn’t add up what he is offering or doing. There are many many fraud SDs, on SA, unfortunately….

Smilies are not something I would associate with a professional who also happens to be SB . However, who knows in this world . Michael Jackson might have sent smilies

flyRsays:

Rebecca – Might be that ISIS wants to diversify their gene pool –

42SWMsays:

I have to concur with those who have noticed a recent downward trend in the apparent SB pool. Actually had a first meet request a “down payment” of $2,500. This was the first first meeting I have ever had that lasted less than 20 minutes. I think that bad press SA has been attracting is impacting the types of people that sign up on the site. My annectdotal experience is that full blown escorts and naked rinsing are on the rise.

All that being said, there have been some promising prospects as well. Unfortunately, it requires more work than ever to filter things in an efficient way.

@Rebecca: If I was a betting man, I would bet that your Spain tickets are never booked. Not meeting while in the US is a big red flag. The only evidence I can see in support of the fact that me might be real were the coach class seats. A total fraud would go all in, and now it seems that he has. Adding the possibility of Dubai to the mix is what a magician refers to as misdirection. For your sake, and for the desire of avoiding another bad SB/SB story, I hope I am wrong. The odds are however not in your favor.

Elainesays:

@Rebecca

Wouldn’t count too much on it to happen …

He was in US but couldn’t meet you because of a “friend”?
He wants to book your flight, but his Spanish CC doesnt get accepted?
He offered you 3,5 for your company, and is spending more than 10k in flights?
He wants everything cheaper?

@Rebecca

Hmmm, so instead of transporting your to Dubai on a yatch, he is going to fly you there? Things are getting to their logical chit chat conclusions already.

Rebeccasays:

We still haven’t booked the Spain tickets. He said there was an issue accepting his foreign credit card and will try today. The SD agreed to getting my business class like I asked. He said there is a chance he will have a meeting in Dubai towards the end of my trip and I can join him. If that happens, I will be traveling a total of 45+ hours on a plane in one week. I wonder if he realizes adding a trip to Dubai will be $10k in flights alone for me. He always says something about getting things cheaper.

“YouGottaBeHonest: I WISH he’d philander, I want him to philander, if he’d philander some other chick could help train him in the issues I’ve been trying to coach him on for years.

I’m quite open with anyone I date that I do not offer fidelity. Some men pretend not to hear me because they decide that I am “nice” or “classy” or any number of attitudes THEY define as mutually exclusive. When someine tells you who they are, believe them!”

In this situation, Id say it is acceptable to engage under the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” clause.

If exclusivity had been established, then Id say engaging would raise “moral” dilemmas.

That said…

Morality, of course, is a matter of relativity.

Exclusivity, of course, is a matter of possessive and selfish (sans negative connotation) desires.

The shades of grey are infinite…

More on that if you wish :).

ys_pls_sir2says:

@Josh – (ignore off) I slept on it and I agree. I did, after all decline twice and made sure the amount was negligible. Thanks for the input. (ignore on)

@FlyR – I won’t be meeting with him. I’ve some experience in the kink world, and although subs are not typically dangerous (Dom/Dommes have higher risk), they can sometimes be riddled with emotional land mines. It was an interesting experience though.

“Then… maybe we could chit-chat some and hopefully meet for dinner & drinks…or s-thing in the future? (hint-hint!!)”

First of all, how did he know that your were into chit chat chit chat?

Second, s-thing = sex-thing…(hint-hint!!)

Joshsays:

[ignore lifted as you wrote something interesting]

@ys_pls_sir2

As the person who brought the concept of “rinsing” to this blog, I hereby declare that the above is not rinsing. What you have at hand is some kind of sub who gets off with this kind of stuff. So keep the money transferred thus far, and don’t dwell on it too much.

If you had thought that I would end the above without a big BUT, then you are wrong…

If you carried on further, be clear if you are willing to carry on with his “game”, “fetish”, whatever…

[ignore resumed until your write something interesting] 😉

ys_pls_sir2says:

I just had the strangest experience. I was chatting with a local fellow who is travelling for the next two weeks in the US. We only emailed a short while and I said I had to go to bed, so he asked if I should punish him for keeping me up. I thought he was talking kink as in spanking so instead of saying ‘no’, I asked him if he was into that. He said if both parties were agreeable to it, then financial punishment could be fun.

I am not the sort to take advantage financially so I declined but we kept emailing, and the conversation was absolutely not sexual. Just “Where are you from” type of conversation. He took it back to financial and he seemed to really want me to charge him for my time.

Now, I’ve experimented with D/s, having experience as both Domme and sub and could recognize from his language cues that he really did get off on being financially dominated, without a sexual component to it.

To test the waters, I asked him what he thought my time was worth to him tonight. He replied by saying he wanted me to demonstrate how frustrating I found his impertinence. So I said, $100 for keeping me up late, and $50 for not answering my question. I provided my email address and boom…$150 in my account.

He then thanked me for allowing him to serve me. I told him he pleased me very much and that he had my permission to contact me tomorrow. He replied very positively.

Now, D/s isn’t something I do anymore, and am struggling with if it falls under the category of ‘taking advantage of’. It was only $150, but it’s the principle. I don’t want to contribute to the bad reputation SBs are getting as ‘rinsers’.

Petitesays:

oh I just thought he sucked at spelling “something”
Is it bad that I get annoyed when guys use too many smilies?

Rebeccasays:

Just received this message:
Hello and How are you? First, Wow!! 😉 I really luv your profile, and I would also really LUV to get to know and meet you too!! 😉 So, if you’re also interested?? 😉 Then… maybe we could chit-chat some and hopefully meet for dinner & drinks…or s-thing in the future? (hint-hint!!) 😉 Please let me know what you think & I do Hope to hear back from you soon? 😉 Also, I Hope you had a Wonderful Weekend…too?? Bye for now…

—
What do you think s-thing stands for? I am going to assume spa day, of course.

Josh – Maybe, without oversharing a person’s private needs just “respect” that a lady knows what her body requires in order to accomodate her partner’s expectations.

Petitesays:

@Josh
I’m not really sure what you’re insinuating.
She’s from Leeds and they’re from Liverpool.
She grew up in the states but went to England for uni which is where she met her boyfriend.
He’s staying with her for the 3 months he’s allowed before going back to the UK.
The brother is only going to be in town 2 weeks.

You will have to put up with a lot of idiotic and embarrassing sense of “humor.” But no worries, you and everyone else will be in awe of the “fake accent.”

Do me a favor. Wake one of the brother up in the dead of the night and see if he speaks like normal people or still talks with the daytime fake accent.

Petitesays:

For those of you who are knowledgeable about Vegas…
I’m planning on going late next month with my best friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend’s brother. The boys are both from England and this is their first time in the states (let alone Vegas). And my best friend has never been either.
What are “must-do”s for the few days we’ll be there?
Also any tips are much appreciated :).

Thanks flyr.

Joshsays:

@ys_pls_sir2

Whatever floats you boat. I don’t give a shit. Move on…

flyRsays:

@Rebecca”bank accounts work in this situation”

From a little research into the situation.

For your name to be on a bank account or even a credit card your name and SSN goes into the system .

If party X sends you $10,000 in cash via a bank transfer it goes into the system.

However, if sd simply opens an account as “joe superdaddy and has a debit card issued in the name of Joe Supderdaddy things have been cool. If yoe shares the card and number with mzabundanttwinkle she can either take the money out of the account or spend it .

Consider me no longer engaging with you @Josh-guru-my-ass. I concede that you would win.

Joshsays:

@ys_pls_sir2

Be happy. You are not interesting enough to engage yet. 😉

ys_pls_sir2says:

@Josh…lol…I have no interest in sparring with you except in the spirit of humour. I grew up with four brothers so I speak fluent sarcasm and meant no disrespect. I still like that I got “sweetheart-ed” and there’s no take back-sies.

*So if you can’t take it, then don’t dish it, SWEETHEART. 😉

And don’t even try to pretend that you have no clue what I am talking about. Move on, or be woman enough to hear the Guru talk.

Joshsays:

@ys_pls_sir2

Taking my “sweetheart” as “condescension” reveals your motives to write the condescending posts you have been making for the past couple of days. So if you can take it, then don’t dish it, SWEETHEART. 😉

SugarBabyGurusays:

YouGottaBeHonest: I WISH he’d philander, I want him to philander, if he’d philander some other chick could help train him in the issues I’ve been trying to coach him on for years.

I’m quite open with anyone I date that I do not offer fidelity. Some men pretend not to hear me because they decide that I am “nice” or “classy” or any number of attitudes THEY define as mutually exclusive. When someine tells you who they are, believe them!

Josh – There are worse, but not terminal, relationship sins than infidelity. You are being more generous toward women in the past few days than I typically hear in your writing. Perhaps it wasn’t JUST I that was unfairly accused of hating the other gender.

Joshsays:

It does not matter if he knows or does not know. As @Miz profoundly said above, “The only person you can control is yourself.” If you are not controlling yourself, you are sabotaging the relationship.

How?

This is how. When you become intimate with other man/men, the “energy” you get with him/them for the one or multiple night stands will collide with the “energy” you have with your current man and WILL interfere with evolving the “occassional, good-enough sex with a very quality non-sugar gentleman” to the next level.

That said, if you are NOT interested in continuing with this “quality non-sugar gentleman” then you do what you have to do to enjoy the NOW…

Rebeccasays:

Can someone tell me on how bank accounts work in this situation? A potential SD says he will want to give me a monthly allowance through my bank account if we don’t meet every month. I personally do not want any sent to my personal bank account. Is it possible that he sets a bank account in his name and I am able to withdraw the allowance put in? Will the account have to have my name on it anyways?

If he would NOT be okay with your philandering, then it would be sabotage my dear. 😉

Do you expect him to be 100% exclusive? Does he expect you to be 100% exclusive?

Joshsays:

@SugarBabyGuru

“Josh – at the risk of incurring your wrath…”

Awww sweetheart, as long as you are calm, you will not see any “wrath”…

You may be right. However, this SB I wrote about last night has come a long way. She was NEVER a drama-queen, but she was not warming up to me the way I wanted to. After one year of on-again, off-again, I now respect her a lot and she has relaxed with me a lot. I am progressively committing myself more and more to her success in life because the way she is approaching her life challenges is amazing. I really don’t want to give specifics because that would be TMI and not fair to her.

So all of the fuss about drama queens is more like the reports of men’s equivalent of “kissing frogs”

There…

I hope that the above did not have any hint of “wrath.” If it did, then point it out, and the next response would be more careful. OK sweetheart? Xoxo

SugarBabyGurusays:

YouGottaKnowIt: he’s 100% exclusive to me, and would NOT be okay with my philandering, but …

SugarBabyGurusays:

Josh – at the risk of incurring your wrath, I would point out that all of the Sub-30 women I know are far more inclined to drama, sabotage, and unrealistic expectations. Perhaps your negative opinion of women comes from too limited a data set. I will say that when it comes to expecting courtesy and respect, that is a quality that increases with experience. I tolerated assholery at 22 I wouldn’t give a moment’s attention to now, nor would I allow it of a partner (such as showing up 45 minutes late for a date).

“Moral Dillema:

Work will take me to two key cities in Europe this winter: one where my very first heartthrob met-IRL SD lives and one where my hot-sex kinky gyno SD from SA lives. I’m currently having occassional, good-enough sex with a very quality non-sugar gentleman. Can I justify “cheating” with old flames due to convenient geography? Or, does that count as “sabotage” even if Mr. IRL will never know?”

Have you two agreed to be exclusive? Is this assuming that the occasional, good-enough sex guy isn’t facing or acting on the same “moral” dilemma?

Joshsays:

As a matter of fact, currently, the purpose of my SA activities is primarily fun times with fun girls, and NOT necessarily sex. However, I will NOT allow these girls to exclude sex, because I take it as insult. But if they give me great company to restaurants, events, etc., I am fine, and would pay for meetings that don’t involve sex.

My AJ is awesome with sex. But she is not very outside activity oriented person. I becomes a project in itself to get her out for things. That’s a bummer.

Joshsays:

@ys_pls_sir2

“Slow – clapping. Well said…”

Sweetheart, it was written for your consumption, NOT MINE. So clap away, slowly. 😉

Joshsays:

@flyR and those who continue to insult me with “hand lotion.”

FB can speak for himself…the truth is that I have not used “hand lotion” for months. As a matter of fact, I don’t remember when exactly I used “hand lotion” the last time.

I am “fully fucked” for me age. I would be hurting myself if I did it more often. True, I could have done more if I were 10 years younger and yet more if I were 20 years younger. At my current age, I prefer not to use any of the ED products because see no point in forcing myself to do more often…I don’t see the point.

So save your idiotic assumptions that I am using “hand lotion.”

That said, I am utterly thankful to Brandon Wade to make this platform available so that I can meet fun, young, appreciative women, and can keep the sabotage to the minimum.

Thank you!

ys_pls_sir2says:

@FlyR – “The truth is that there’s an abundance of really awesome women on SA. They are not looking for unreasonable allowances, $50,000 of useless trinkets or another man to castrate. Rather they are looking for a man ( not a boy) who sees them as a partner in a respect based adventure involving things that go aagahhhh in the night. Partners who believe in ladies first, send notes of thanks, feel good about themselves and celebrate their partner’s sensuality.”

Slow – clapping. Well said….

flyRsays:

@Josh and FB “and probably won’t be getting fucked using SA in the near future either”

Perhaps you are too busy attacking women, shopping for that Ebola suit before having sex or simply going to meet SB’s convinced that you are going to loose that you are left with only your bitterness and hand lotion.

The truth is that there’s an abundance of really awesome women on SA. They are not looking for unreasonable allowances, $50,000 of useless trinkets or another man to castrate. Rather they are looking for a man ( not a boy) who sees them as a partner in a respect based adventure involving things that go aagahhhh in the night. Partners who believe in ladies first, send notes of thanks, feel good about themselves and celebrate their partner’s sensuality.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Softi – don’t be so negative, I’ve been f*cked plenty due to SA, and at least 50% of the time it was pleasurable.

Moral Dillema:

Work will take me to two key cities in Europe this winter: one where my very first heartthrob met-IRL SD lives and one where my hot-sex kinky gyno SD from SA lives. I’m currently having occassional, good-enough sex with a very quality non-sugar gentleman. Can I justify “cheating” with old flames due to convenient geography? Or, does that count as “sabotage” even if Mr. IRL will never know?

So the four-words summary is: “We are all fucked?”

SouthernSBsays:

@Mr-I’d do it but then again, I’m no longer a babymaker.

FatB'StardSAsays:

God help anyone who believes they are getting advise from real SD’s or SB’s on this blog. The blog was populated by real SD’s and SB’s before I started posting but the advise they gave would probably be out of date with the reality of todays SA site.

Love Gurusays:

“The only person you can control is yourself.”

Profound indeed as far as bb. 😉

MR SDsays:

The reason on the blog is because who else do I have to ask? I don’t share my indiscretions with anyone friend, foe, family, or passerby. I have not discussed this with my SB and wanted to see if I should and check my thoughts a little bit. It has been three years and I have always been the one to bring protection because I respect her and my wife. But the little head sometimes thinks in front of the higher head and wanted to feel it out here….. That’s all! Thanks for the insight and time.

Love Gurusays:

@MizUndaStood

“I’m very passionate because I have been cheated on and I am a cheater…”

Profound indeed. 😉

MizUndaStoodsays:

I’m very passionate because I have been cheated on and I am a cheater, which is why I don’t believe in monogamous relationships anymore. Trust me I’ve tried! I can be exclusive, but I will eventually have something else on the side, superficial, at least for a little while. And if I guy is married, then I don’t owe him any expectation of exclusivity, I’m not really with him am I? Allowance is set to make both parties fell appreciated, not to buy exclusivity or rights over someone else’s parts for your use.

MizUndaStoodsays:

I question any guy that wants to go bb with me without hesitation and a talk. I also question what happened that he it made him think that it would be ok to not be protected. I def would not trust a guy I don’t have complete access to with free reign over my kitty. Cheating and sex happens all the time, any time of the day, with anyone from any socioeconomic class. All you need is a good 7 mins and an opportunity. The only person you can control is yourself.

MizUndaStoodsays:

Bare what? Hellz no. Who is he going bb with? Who am I going bb with? Def not worth a yeast infection, bacterial infection, STD, or preganancy. When in doubt, swallow. LOL! Any SD considering going bb without a vasectomy is a fool. And married? Hope you have good life insurance because your wife is going to kill you once you get your mistress pregnant. Common sense folks.

For whatever it is worth, last night I was offered bb by a beautiful early 20s SB. I politely refused.

I am not doing bb with anyone until I get vasectomy.

Elainesays:

@ MR SD

I would have no problems with that.

MR SDsays:

Thoughts on Bareback sex. How do sb’s feel about bareback sex with a married man if he has been with her for over 3 years. He is not fixed. The allowance has been consistent and is paid from a caring heart at 4K month. Thoughts?

Rebeccasays:

Elaine, about to go on Skype for a video call. Since the trip is so soon, the plane tickets jumped in price and are limited, of course. Either I can do an over 15 hour flight in business for 6k or 13 hour flight in coach for $1,500. Hmmm wonder which is he going to pick! 😛
I was looking up seat space between different classes. Oh, man. Looking at first class and business made a tear shed. Beautiful seating lol.

@Rebecca
Good thinking! When I have my profile up again, I’ll have to do the same

flyRsays:

@Rebecca ”

I deleted my private photos.”

I think that’s a wise move.

flyRsays:

@Rebecca-The relevant question is not if the executive would fly business or coach but rather what would an young employee fly. I have also known a number of execs who flew coach as a matter of practice .

Tim Cook gay – ho hummmm. Rather than tout his gay creeds I would like for him to make his software run like it did under Jobs. Sadly he’s leaning more towards being pimped out to wall street and their quest for quarterly earnings.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Rebecca, that might actually be a good strategy for a SB to follow…have a single picture on profile, nothing too revealing, nothing at weird angles, maybe even doing something talked about in the profile (saw one with the woman shooting skeet, it was full body, but not revealing, attracted my attention!) Then, when asked about other pics, direct to email for exchange…

I’ve actually changed some of my profile to try to block some of the research stuff I’ve heard on the blog in the past…not that I’m trying to be shady, but I want my privacy…

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Josh, I’m actually surprised the media hasn’t thrown the markets in a tizzy about the gay announcement…but…he was basically outed a while back on a market “news” program, so it might already be priced into the market.

Apple’s stock is doing just fine. I have no love for Apple Inc. I have never “owned” any of stocks or its products.

I hope and pray that we have reached the times when the gayness of a chief executive does not cause people to punish his/her employer. any company.

Rebeccasays:

I deleted my private photos. Now I actually get real messages in my inbox and have a couple dates set up. I did get a first message saying, “Got any pics?” and knew it was a good filtering system. Plus it gets us over to email quicker so I can search for their identity by it.

Joshsays:

So where was Josh Guru aka Love Guru yesterday?

First, he was working on some nagging work issues. Note: Nagging work issues are infinitely better than nagging women.

Right after work it was play time with an on-again, off-again SB. Josh Guru is becoming very interested in her educational/life success because the way she does certain things, and manages her budget intrigues him. He also appreciates the gratitude expressed without the sense of entitlement.

Can’t give too much specifics, but she came out of the blue and offered bb, which the Guru politely refused, and kept the thin latex barrier between her lady bits and his lovehood.

Random thought. Leaving hotel to attend conference. Passed a HANDSOME gentleman and I MUST say I LOVE a man in a plaid sport jacket! Gets me EVERY time!

Laineysays:

@Joshy

2.) Lol. Smart a**. Those were dresses which were all purchased this summer. So NONE of the aforementioned

3.) No idea. I give all my clothes away every Christmas. Soooo..

4.) LOVE SHOES!!

5.) Fawk! No idea but I keep a photo album to recall ones that have gotten lost in translation so I can bust them out once in a while. Although, I have quite a few I haven’t even worn yet, so obviously my system isn’t working.

Hope I answered to your sarcastic satisfaction 😉

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Josh – thank you for agreeing to stay on point and interact rather than instigate. It’s too bad everyone else can’t stay productive, because after just a couple DAYS I feel driven away from the blog, after taking more than a month to get up the nerve to start posting.

@Petite,,don’t wish for anything other than what you have, you measurements
sound perfect to me..;)

Joshsays:

@Kirsten,

I think @DorkyGuy needs a reminder from you to read blog rules.

Joshsays:

@Lainey

“@Josh not true. To some men the more expensive the better. It’s a fetish! Had a man take me shopping and spent 73K on his black card. He wanted to know the tag on EVERYTHING. The more Louboutins, YSLs and Lanvin the better.

He found it soooo sexy seeing me walk around naked with nothing but red soles screaming “come take me”!”

Now such posts require that you demonstrate your hotness to the blog.

1. What exactly was purchsed during that shopping spree?

2. How many of your 500 outfits were purchased during that shopping spree?

3. What is the retail (new) price of your 500 outfits.

4. Aside from your SD’s fetish, are you into shoes?

5. If yes, then how many shoes do you own?

😉

Joshsays:

flyRsays:

re being late for meeting-not sure it’s harmful but being on time says you respect time and you are interested. There are legitimate reasons for being late, especially in LA but courtesy calls for a text or call. Due to the high number of noshows a call or text to state you are enroute is a nice touch. If you have gone to the trouble to get your hair , nails etc done to make a good impression why not communicate to create anticipation.

ys_pls_sir2says:

@FlyR: “@YS_ “Putting on my best sexy librarian reading glasses, nonchalantly hiking up my skirt to a little higher on my thigh, and flipping through my Business Sense Magazine while keeping one flirty eye on you”

A very nibblible picture”

Poorly pretending not to hear you while I covertly unbutton one more button on my blouse then cough delicately for your attention.

flyRsays:

@YS_ “Putting on my best sexy librarian reading glasses, nonchalantly hiking up my skirt to a little higher on my thigh, and flipping through my Business Sense Magazine while keeping one flirty eye on you”

A very nibblible picture

flyRsays:

@miz “With the guy nervously separated with a ring on. He shook my hand too. Didn’t like that. After 2 bottles of wine at lunch, can I get a hug” Might have been a case of stage fright for the newly separated. After two bottles of wine you are entitled to a squeeze.

RE blind requests for private pics – when they display pictures without any locational information lots of guys (including me on occasion) will click out of curiosity and perhaps click on private pic request for entertainment rather than any interest in someone 1000 miles or 10000 miles away.

@petite “There are guys who won’t share pictures at all and insist on you going into the date blind.
I’m way too paranoid for that.”

Simply no reason for an SD to refuse to share pic prior to meeting. Worst case blur the face. My preference is to exchange via email rather than SA.

ys_pls_sir2says:

@Newbie – “@ys – don’t think I missed your waive, it is appreciated! I like to cuddle and watch a woman read, so feel free to read away, I’m here to capitalize on your heightened emotions ;-)”

Putting on my best sexy librarian reading glasses, nonchalantly hiking up my skirt to a little higher on my thigh, and flipping through my Business Sense Magazine while keeping one flirty eye on you.

@Dorky & @Josh – You get a five minute time out in the sandbox for not playing nice again. We were all doing so well here until you instigated a universal groan of Oh My God-are-you-seriously-drudging-up-that-rediculous-childish-tantrum-again?? (still luv you, but it had to be said)

@Miz
LOL! Now I have this image of you on a trampoline 😛
“Dude” I know how you feel :P.

@Online
I believe in your ability to find a suitable avatar 😛

DorkyGuysays:

@ONSB~

A) I am quite capable of managing my interactions with other people without your intervention. You are not the blog moderator any more than Josh is.

B) My comment to Josh had absolutely nothing to do with you. It was not in relation to any of your comments whatsoever.

C) I didn’t accuse you of anything. I simply stated that with his past behavior, it is difficult for any new SD to earn trust. ANY new SD. To overcome the suspicion that HE created. So I suggest if you are upset anyone might be suspicious of you, you should direct your ire in his direction, not mine.

@petite, I agree about the avatars. I’ve thought about doing one for me, but I don’t want a pic and I’m not clever enough for a graphic like @Dorky has (I like the graphic, just to be clear)

Petitesays:

@Dorky
Right?
It’s not the majority by any means.
Maybe 1/20.
But it still throws me off.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Petite Thanks! They’re just there, I throw them around and let the boys see them bounce. LOL! And growing up around all guys, how about this POT actually got comfortable enough in conversation he called me dude? LMAO! Yeah no sexual tension there. I was more like one of his boys at that point.

That seems weird to me. I guess some married guys could be super paranoid, but it still seems a little weird… and enough to put a girl ill at ease regarding safety.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Dorky, I’ve tried to put location tidbits in my messages to avoid this proxy accusation…again, don’t instigate, interact. You pulled @josh into the comment on MY post. Comment on the comment, interact, don’t instigate. We’ve gotten along, but right now YOU’RE the only one that is questioning. I’m done with this party of the conversation, let’s interact some more, please!

Petitesays:

@Lainey
But where would we be without your boobalicious avatars???

Petitesays:

@Miz
Lol! the D’s probably look great on your body though.
I wear sports bras most of the time– I feel awkward letting them hang out in public haha xD
I’m also somewhat of a tomboy, so there’s that. Grew up in a house with all boys :P.

@Online
I agree. I don’t go to a meeting with a POT unless I believe there’s a possibility for physical chemistry as well as everything else. I don’t understand how some SDs don’t acknowledge that attraction is necessary both ways, but I definitely get requests to meet like that. I just say “good luck, you’re not for me” and move on. If after a bit of conversation online/on the phone, I can’t be trusted with a simple photo; it’s not a situation I want to be in.

DorkyGuysays:

@Petite~ I didn’t involve anyone else 😉

@Josh~ Sure… play the victim. If people don’t trust you regarding proxy accounts, you brought it on yourself. Remember TurnipWagonSD who turned out to be a proxy created by you to use to insult everyone? Now every new account that appears on here, people have to wonder if it’s you just messing with peoples’ heads. As a result, it’s going to be tough for any new SD on here to earn trust.

@Petite, if someone wouldn’t share pics when something is scheduled, that’s a MAJOR red flag to me too! There’s discretion, then there’s “I’m an uggo and don’t want you to cancel our first meeting”

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Petite I would gladly trade my D’s in for a neat B cup. I’d rather not have to wear a bra all the time. My only exception would be a fat transfer breast lift, I would even out at a full DD for that and just live life.

@Petite, thanks for reiterating my desires for comments on comments, I saw @Josh’s comment, but not the previous one…or I would have said something earlier.

Sugh great conversation and interaction everyone, let’s keep it that way!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Online having BF’s with questionable pasts and dating “married” I guess I’ve learned just not to ask questions. LOL! And yes, I had a blind POT date and that was the best so far. With the guy nervously separated with a ring on. He shook my hand too. Didn’t like that. After 2 bottles of wine at lunch, can I get a hug?

@Online
There are guys who won’t share pictures at all and insist on you going into the date blind.
I’m way too paranoid for that.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Lainey – I do that when I give access, if she’s logged in since I granted access and requested access, she hasn’t responded to my request and hasn’t sent a message, she’s done for some of those same reasons!

Some of the bloggers would do just that and when I respond in kind, then their posse will show up and try to admonish me for lacking manners OR advice to “ignore” the provocations.

I have faced this nonsense for months now.

*sigh*

Petitesays:

@Miz
LOL!
I finished right before I came online.
It’s been way too long since anyone has seen me naked lol.
Besides myself I mean…

@OnlineNewbieSD
Lainey might be (and I’m not sure, so she should confirm) talking about when guys request access to your private pictures without sending a message, you grant the request, and you never hear anything back from them. Then after seeing they’ve seen the message and it’s been a couple days, you revoke the permission to view the photos. Then all of a sudden they ask for permission again– without sending a message.

Laineysays:

@OnlineNewbieSD I’m saying, ‘in the event that he views my photos but does NOT contact me in 24hrs’, I revoke access. I don’t have time to entertain the creeps and pic collectors lol. And if he is neither but its unable to message me a simple “hello” than he is either too busy or too fickle for my taste.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Online I rarely request his pics, it’s up to him to reveal to me who he is. I think that is part of the discretion he is seeking with a sugar relationship. I get guys are visual, and I have no problem sharing my pics for them to decide whether or not they’d like to message me. Often pics trump a decent profile. Sad. I am more than a cute face and curves, if I can get to the meat and potatoes with a SD he would figure that out if he’s smart enough.

@Lainey LOL at peek a boo. I still won’t message them but yes they come back to look again. Or just say “pretty girl”. What are you sir, a parrot?

@MizUndastood girl I revoke access TOO! Its always funny when they ask for access again, like wtf do they think this is “peek-a-boo”?

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – I get frustrated with the women who have private Pics and request mine, but don’t give me access to gets at the same time. I usually ask before I grant, but that’s because it’s more efficient clicking to move from profile to messaging with the request, then give access…then I follow up with a message.

As far as lady bits, had some about two hours ago, and may have some more later tonight or first thing in the morning.

Just brushed teeth. May make a quick post or two. Other than that…

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – I want to apologize for the D-bags that say “no thanks” because you viewed their profile…I turned those notifications off because I got sick of the views from out of state! I want someone close enough to be a bit spontaneous!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Petite YES! I favorite proflies too, maybe that’s too intrusive. I don’t like to send the first message, I’d rather him take interest in me, I am old skool like that I guess. But I have been blocked twice and sent 3 rejection messages. Because I favortied them or looked at their profile! So harsh! I’ve only blocked one creepy guy. And I also revoke my private pics if they don’t message me at least a day after they request to see them. Such a process!

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Petite – the thought was not lost on me either…

Laineysays:

@Josh not true. To some men the more expensive the better. It’s a fetish! Had a man take me shopping and spent 73K on his black card. He wanted to know the tag on EVERYTHING. The more Louboutins, YSLs and Lanvin the better.

He found it soooo sexy seeing me walk around naked with nothing but red soles screaming “come take me”!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Josh TRUE! That’s what my personal trainer is for. To make me look good naked. Allowance will def be needed to pay for that! That is NON negotiable. Luckily, I had a short lived on and off married friend who paid for my trainer now. He was floored the last time I ran into him. But I need to get a new trainer by December since I am firing the guy I have now. That’s my drama! LOL!

Josh josh josh… your online proxies will never last long if you keep toggling between them.

DorkyGuysays:

And there it is

Petitesays:

@OnlineNewbieSD
Haha thanks!
And daaaamn.
If I had D’s, me and your ex-SB would be pretty identical.
I can’t even imagine me with D’s.
Okay, now I’m imagining me with D’s.
Whew, it’s getting hot in here huh? 😛

American Hustle was a great movie, except that I could never figure out how Amy Adams’ character fell for Christian Bale’s character. Still trying to figure that one out.

MizUndaStoodsays:

I get off on all the rejection messages I get. I can innocently look at a profile, and I get an email back that they wish me luck on my endeavors. NO boo, I was just being nosey, I didn’t contact you nor message you that I had an interest. Get a life! You aren’t that important, there are about 5000 more men for me to check out tonight. LOL!

@Dorky
Hi there! Decided to forgo leaving the apartment and watch American Psycho on Netflix instead. It’s creepy because I have an ex who is a ringer for Christian Bale, haha!

Pretty much all I know about fashion is if it fits and if the fabric feels good 😛

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Dorky – you are spot on. Had an SB that always talked about her seamstress. She always looked hot as hell, but never wrote labels. Just fit perfectly to her body…she was 5’0″ and about 90lbs soaking wet with the most perfect D cups. Mentioned above 😉 damn I miss her sometimes!

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Lainey, good to hear, I just wanted to make sure we aren’t instigating anyone. It’s more fun for me to interact!

DorkyGuysays:

My fashion sense is pathetic. I only know three things about fashion.

1) Whether I think it looks hot or not.
2) If she has name brand labels displayed everywhere, we probably aren’t a match.
3) If she is wearing a wide brim hat that isn’t for the beach, we probably aren’t a match.

For me personally, how well it fits is way more important than how much it costs. Correct me if I am wrong, but I bet you could take a $50 dress to a seamstress and have it fitted to your unique shape, and have it look on you like a $500 dress. That’s just male speculation though.

@Lainey
Hell, I don’t even know the difference.

Laineysays:

@MizUndastood most men don’t know the difference between a 20$ dress and designer label. Lol

Petitesays:

I think as long as you’re honest about who you are, there’s going to be someone that finds you attractive. But if you’re dishonest with how you portray yourself, you’re going to miss out on those who would really like to meet you.

I know that my being ultra-petite (30B,23,32) puts me out of the running with a lot of guys who are looking for the buxom babe, but there are also guys who are really into that. Sometimes I wish I was taller and didn’t look so young, but you’ve got to embrace what makes you “you”. And Lainey/Miz, rock those lady bits- lord knows I would if I had ’em :P.

@Lainey and @Miz – I completely understand, but when the pics are taken at weird angles to make a size 20 look like a size 8-10, and the profile says athletic, that’s false advertising.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Lainey it is what it is. And he’s close to my age and single. I foresee some problems, but I will remain open minded until we meet. I am curious to see how much he is willing to value my sex at. Hmmm… Per meeting arrangement of course. LMAO!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Online Athletic comes in all sizes. It’s possible she could run a 5k- in an hour! LMAO! My 5K time is more like 28- 32mins. I am not a size 2 damn, not even a size 5. But I am curvy and muscular, which some guys don’t like, but I could care less. I could probably pin him and have him scream mercy. LOL!

My SDs dad does triathlons and he’s not in the BEST shape so I never assume mention of gym or working out means “in shape”. I just assume they are healthy on the.. inside. Lol

Laineysays:

LOL @MizUndastood I KNOW the struggle. Met with a POT this weekend and felt like he was BSing his way through his serious questions to get to the meat and potatoes which included “how could a man look at you and not think SEX?” He then asked “Are you good in bed?” To which I replied with THAT look (I’m sure you know the look LOL) on my face “Do I LOOK good in bed?” Of course he said yes.

Mind you my profile pics are NOTHING like my avatar and I was wearing a long short-sleeve maxi dress.

On this blog I’ve heard so many say they don’t like the T&A but the men on the site that DO, REEEAAALLYY DO! So good luck to you weeding out the creeps with your full body pic LOL

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – I do side with @Dorky on the build issue though, and the angles of the pictures. I met one pot for coffee, she was listed at athletic, mentioned the gym and 5-10k charity races…she had trouble fitting in the bistro chair at the coffee
house! I’m honest and put few extra pounds, but she made me feel like petite build!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Lainey standard issue T&A… I can’t help being curvy. In a world where some men find young boyish figures more attractive over curves, eh, it’s subjective. LOL! I guess listening to Dorky the other day, passing over a profile with no full length photo, he assumes fat. Well ok I’d rather be perceived as fat, and have someone who can READ my physical description decipher if they are man enough to ride this ride. Remember, first POT molested me, LOL, so I have a fun body to play with, but damn if this new POT did not already put out there he wanted sex. No pressure but if I do take him up on it, this won’t last too long. LOL! Full length body pic in form fitting dress down to my knees and not showing cleavage. Unbelievable!

@Dorky – it would be interesting to see if that spills over to the sexual sites…of course, how many SDs would want to file the claim for a refund?

MizUndaStoodsays:

Update. Full length photo brought me exactly what I didn’t want! UGH! POT coffee date has been rescheduled to tomorrow. Despite his great profile and instant connection via text message, he tells me today he is just looking for a casual NSA passionate time. HUH? Ok just sex? Story of my life. HAHA!

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Online that’s how it should be. So many guys don’t want to change their situation. Ok cool. I am a gal that doesn’t want to change hers either! I wouldn’t want my SD to invade my personal personal life or be more than what we are when we are together so be it. As long as our together time is enjoyable then I am content. And no, he can’t meet my family if I can’t meet his! LOL!

Laineysays:

@Rebecca I’ve never had a problem out in public. I’ve done dinner, shows, even events. I’ve had to pretend to be an associate at a charity gala once, it was almost like role playing and like @OnlineNewbieSD said the sexual tension and anticipation are super hot.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – GREAT story about priority in life and a SB that understood the “game”…my phone is on silent, but musty be ringing on her coffee table as she is riding me reverse
cowgirl…she leans forward, grabs my phone and settles onto my lap handing the phone over her shoulder with a “it’s your wife”…I talked for 5 minutes like that and when I hung up, she reached over her shoulder, took the phone and set it back on the coffee table, going back to our previous activities! Damn I miss her sometimes! 😉

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – he wasn’t separated, he was a guy that does not have an excuse to be out with someone in public…I do not remove my ring, I am in public, in my hometown, with my pot…but my job allows me too be out in public and have discussions a woman…it does limit the longing looks and flirting over dinner, but I have found it heightens the sexual tension for later 😉

@Josh & @Spicey – handing out diplomas with hearty handshakes for having graduated at long last from the sandbox. I love it when we all get along.

Grabbing my popcorn and taking a seat on the floor next to Newbie so I can catch up on all your posts.

MizUndaStoodsays:

I had one POT convince me he was separated. And he tried to switch his ring off his hand mid meal. He had to take a few calls in the bathroom and told me he managed his company and was a full time dad since his wife moved out? I thought that was weird. The truth would have been more believable.

MizUndaStoodsays:

The married men that travel have no worries. I have been out with them, they wear their ring and they have a great time. May have to take a phone call or two to check in, but other than that, they’re free and enjoying the moment and then travel back home and have a great home life too.

LadyScarlettsays:

Well, if they travel frequently for business, then having a married men whom you meet out of town is not like that scenario.

Rebeccasays:

I personally don’t like messing with married men. I like going out in public like having dinner at a restaurant. In my experience, all the married guys want to stay locked in a hotel room. To me, that makes me feel like an escort, so I avoid it.

@Dorky – I hadn’t thought of that perspective…and since I’m not sure reporting them would do anything anyways, probably better to ignore and let the lowest common denominators find each other!

LadyScarlettsays:

The sneaking around can be exciting, but other times it can be a bit stressful, if they live in your town. Or, if you actually see someone they know. Then, the single ones can be more fun and carefree, in that aspect, which can mean much more spontaneity (:

DorkyGuysays:

“A new profile hit my search this morning…profile picture is with tongue out, displaying the piercing…headline can best be summarized as “need cash”…details are about paying for whatever you want…

Should I report this profile? I have reported profiles in the past when a message back stated hourly rates or rates for specific services provided…
“~ONSD

I don’t report them. Here is my reasoning.

There are plenty of men on the site who will be glad to contact her, who are also likely harassing more quality SBs for the same thing. If that diverts those guys’ attention away from the more quality SBs, then it’s a service to those SBs, and it is less noise that my communication has to go through to get to the quality SBs.

Thanks girl. Lol, that video reminds me of himym…Barney did his own chart

SexyRockstarsays:

Link me that video so I can see it babe, go look at my tat picture. I put it up just for youuuuuu

Laineysays:

OMG @SexyRockstar I love married too. My current isn’t which is why we’ve had to workout some “feelings” issues but never had those problems with the married or jaded-divorced because although they voiced it, I had no fear of it actually needing to go somewhere.

Plus I feel like I’m appreciated more with a married man. I cook for my SD, clean up if I’m there and the house isn’t to my standards, give him a rub down in the jacuzzi (no not like that), hang on to his every word even when its a story I’ve heard 187630 times and yet and still he’ll cancel to chill with his friends. But he’s in his 20s and single so its like I can’t blame him.

I’ve NEVER had a married SD cancel. Typically because I was booked as a business meeting, conference or seminar (for extended stays. Lol). I definitely need to get back to my 40+ married roots!

SexyRockstarsays:

yeah. HAHAHA. those POTS i’ve liked…but him and I have this connection. we’re going to make it work. Guuurrrlll did you see my tattoo picture?!?! It’s innocent. HAHA. I took it right after I got it touched up ((i cheated on my artist, got a shit job done, and he went over it)) so I just got done balling my eyes out. Getting scar tissue tattooed OVER hurts like a fuck. OMG, i died. Link me that video babe, and check out the picture : e2c08488

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Online you could say that. I have no issue connecting and making friends with a lot of folks, it’s just how I am. But when real life trumps over the fun, I am not the same person. Of course sugar dating would benefit me, with allowance I am not going to have an issue with being available for him if he’s helping. As far as carrying on a relationship in whatever capacity for nothing, well, I am not wired that way. LOL! I am always going to look at “what’s in it for me” as most people do. For married guys, the thrill of having someone else to be intimate with- emotionally and physically, can be enough. When you aren’t married, meeting someone just for dinner and drinks only when they’re in town, gets old. Sugar would keep it interesting, I can balance my life and financial needs and let go for a bit, enjoy the affair for what it is. Most guys want a lot for nothing, and while I can engage for a while, but knowing my obligations, I’ll call it quits way before they’d want to. And no, I am a lil older so married guys and their home situation don’t bother me one bit. I helped coax my dad through his affair and now he’s separated (thank goodness) so I can see why some men stay and what they look for beyond the home life. If I see you in Costco, I might glance or nod, but not blow up your spot. Just another day. He’ll probably text me later. LOL!

@OnlineNewbieSD glad you liked the vid. Showed it to my SD last night. He watched it twice.

@SexyRockstar check out the vid I posted. I think you’ll like it. Is this the former SD that you “L-word”? Lol

SexyRockstarsays:

I prefer married men. They just..idk, treat me better.

Sex is sex…I can have sex with anyone. But, I won’t do a sugar relationship unless I can connect with them. How else would I know what they like if I am actually not talking to them. Plus, I would never ever sleep with a Sox fan, so, I have my own screening process. HAHAHA

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – it sounds like your connecting physically (or intimately) with these guys, but you’re not necessarily taking some time to connect intellectually or emotionally…from my perspective, as a SD, I want to connect intellectually first, then balance some emotion with a lot of physical connection…if I can’t carry on a conversation with a SB, it’s not going to be fun, no matter how great the sex is…I need to know, especially as a married, that if we bump into someone I know, she isn’t going to fall apart…and…there’s the emotional balance point to avoid the stalkers 😉

MizUndaStoodsays:

Safe to say SA is far from the mark of an ideal SB/SD site. I just checked a message from another “married” site and a guy offered to fly me out to see him and mentioned he has the means. My profiles are not the same, from there to here, honestly I just do like dating older married white guys, they’re fun! BUT, I chose to change to sugar dating because, they’re married, and having an affair gets old in my world after a while, especially with nothing else around but a nice dinner and sex every other month. Will consider if this guy is up for a sugar affair. I mean, he did bring it up first! LOL!

I booked my NYC trip, I am so excited. I hope i’ll have some spare time so I can take the girls out sight-seeing. My oldest asked me if we can go see a fashion show when we are there. HAHA.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@flyR has a point @Miz! I may just send a short email to this profile acknowledging her issues, and letting her know there are better sites for her endeavor…you should politely acknowledge the attention your profile received from those guys, but let them know they are not being appropriate for the Sugarbowl!

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Sexy – Thanks…I thought about having some fun, but it just seemed empty and hollow to me…it IS sad someone feels they need to resort to this, but it’s even more sad to think there are “SDs” on this site that will take advantage of her, which will result in those “SDs” propositioning other, more classic, SBs in that same way and make it more difficult for me to find a classic and quality SB in my area that hasn’t been broken by the belligerent.

flyRsays:

“””@Online LOL! What?!?
I have a REAL profile up with REAL pics and I usually get messages saying, “I’ll be in town, meet me in my hotel room it’ll be worth it” or “send me some more revealing pics”. Should I report them? LOL! Everyone is going to try something. The sad part is those folks probably do get what they want, since they are direct and offensive. *sigh*”””

brief reply to them

Good luck, you are blocked – hope you find continued pleasure in your handcream

flyRsays:

“”I just think that’s a swinger lifestyle, not a sugar lifestyle. MY OPINION””

agree 100%

SexyRockstarsays:

@onlineSD

hey there! welcome. Just tell that profile back. “What can i get with 2 dollars?” and if she is worth anything, she will be a smart ass saying “2 dollar to make you holla…honey boo boo chhhiilllddddd”

I mean, thats how I would respond. Just tell her that you don’t want her shitty tounge ring from Spencers anywhere near you. You are allergic to stainless steel and that would ruin your body, and clearly she isn’t worth it if she is putting cheap crap in her body. don’t report it….just have fun with said profile. It will help the time pass by.

@all
I think I am just going to stay with my former SD. He came this week to see me ((he was in a state next to me, and figured he’d say hi)) He came with some things for my daughters (he’s the only one that ever knew I had kids) and now I have so much Frozen crap I have no idea what to do with. I can’t wait to see their faces when I pick them up later.

MizUndaStoodsays:

@Online LOL! What?!?
I have a REAL profile up with REAL pics and I usually get messages saying, “I’ll be in town, meet me in my hotel room it’ll be worth it” or “send me some more revealing pics”. Should I report them? LOL! Everyone is going to try something. The sad part is those folks probably do get what they want, since they are direct and offensive. *sigh*

A new profile hit my search this morning…profile picture is with tongue out, displaying the piercing…headline can best be summarized as “need cash”…details are about paying for whatever you want…

Should I report this profile? I have reported profiles in the past when a message back stated hourly rates or rates for specific services provided…

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – I think your assessment is exactly my thoughts…it’s fine if your sugar relationship progresses to something more open and inclusive, but it’s something else to make it a part of the screening process on SA.

I have started ignoring the SB profiles that list both Men and Women in the looking for section…I don’t want to give the wrong idea about what I’m looking for…it’s one thing to “play” it’s another to “live” the multi-partner lifestyle!

And, as far as your threesome question…I believe it is all in how those three letters go together…I would NEVER agree to a MMF threesome, it implies the man is the focus of the situation and I am NOT AT ALL attracted to men…a MFM situation, on the other hand, can be a lot of fun because the focus is on the woman…but…if there’s two F’s in the equation I would be more than happy 😉 (FFM or FMF)

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – maybe a little bit of both for your cancelled pot…he could have double-booked and the other person showed…he could have had great drinks with someone last night and decided to see if it progresses…he could have had his wife find a receipt and he needs to lay low for a bit…Keep in touch and if he doesn’t respond, he’s not interested…if he responds, it’s life getting in the way 😉

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – no worries, glad you saw the comments and could gain some perspective…I know I feel more without a condom (no matter how “natural” the advertisement preaches the feel is) but I’m not going to risk health, family and child support over a quick roll in the hay! In fact, when it has gone natural in my relationships, it’s usually a matter of her choice, in the heat of the moment when I’m leaning over to the bedside table and she stops me…

So POT for today just had to cancel coffee, but left me an open invite to stop by and grab coffee or lunch if in his area? Was I just blown off or rescheduled? LOL!

MizUndaStoodsays:

I’m all for open sexual situations and “playing” with mutual understanding and boundaries, but if that is the only focus of the Sugar relationship, I probably would not agree. Some guy actually asked if I would consider a MMF situation. Ummm, IDK if he was bi or what! Scary to say the least that this site is full of horny guys looking for only extraordinary sexual relationships. Someone is telling them ok, that’s the only reason I think they stay on SA or they heard it could happen on SA. Traditional sex and relationship is about all I can handle right now. LOL!

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@flyR – I’m not denigrating a 3some, by any means…my first relationship liked to dabble with women…she brought a friend a couple of different times, one of those friends became a short-term SB when she and I were ending…and another one actually picked a girl up at the bar on a date (it was a buzzed bet that I was more than happy to accept)…great times, great times…I’ve also helped a woman fulfill her bucket list of having two guys pleasure her, again, lots of straight fun was had by all three of us…I think the negativity I felt in this instance was because of the way the pot perceived the request…she made it seem like she had it happen more than once as more of a demand than a request. I just think that’s a swinger lifestyle, not a sugar lifestyle. MY OPINION

“”since there is a lot of High and Substantial requests with comments about plutonic and non-sexual in the profiles!”””

Everyone should have their fantasy………..

MizUndaStoodsays:

Thanks @Online. I scrolled up and read your previous comment on the matter and gained some prospective. I just don’t get how I get emails straight out the gate, asking for “exclusivity” or emails asking for I prefer not to use condoms are you ok with that? My replies have always been respectable and reasonable, but the answer is always NO! I can’t be exclusive to you if I don’t know you, and we haven’t even met, and I sure as hell am not going bareback with you because you asked, are married, and have a vasectomy. That’s what female condoms for, no matter what I am going to be covered. And being “exclusive” without even going out and chatting, well that’s crazy!

flyRsays:

@ online newbie “I have been asked if I would expect the SB to “be available” for my friends, or expect her to “bring a friend” to play dates…I have to say SDs, if this is the level of expectation for a SB, and the trend of what I need to deal with on SA, you need to find another site, or I need to find another site! That, to me, is NOT Sugar…and it’s making it harder for ME to find my arrangement on here.”

My take yes and no

If the SB is up for being passed around to friends then not my type or interest.
Re 3 some

OTH I have had two great SB’s who also liked girls. One brought her girlfriend over as she was considering SA and SB knew that a midlife 3some
was on my bucket list(she had asked) A very good time was had by all but not something that needs to be a regular staple. Happier focused on one.

flyRsays:

Tim Cook – As the owner of Apple tablet, phone, laptop, and stock I would be much happier if Timmy would focus on getting the bugs out of the software and not celebrating his gayness. I don’t care in the slightest about his sexual preferences but I see more professionals saying that Apple software is loosing it’s advantages and certainly the string of major problems under his leadership is a seachange from Jobs.

In CA it’s the straight people hiding in the closet, especially in the bay area . There’s nothing special. While I am on a rant – I feel that Apple has become another company with too many people trying to meet quarterly earnings projections at the expense of the long term.

Sugar related – I depend on this stuff to perform work for our clients. That’s what keeps the sugar flowing.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Josh – Cook is courageous, but this means I’m probably in for a horrific day in the markets!

Also, did I read he feels people should give up some privacy for security? Really? I’m more of a Franklin theorist “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety”

“And is there anyone interested in an attractive smart black MALE SB??”

Probably not the right site for you. Not race but looking for sugar mama or gay?

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Miz – I LOVE that question! losing the protection in ANY relationship is about length of time together and exclusivity to me…I’m certainly NOT going bareback after a cup of coffee and the ‘promise’ of cleanliness and inability to have children…don’t need medical issues or baby mama drama in my life!

One of my lengthy relationships was always protected sex, another was protected for about six months of the over two years duration…the third was unprotected from the beginning, but we had dated before I was married and she understood our relationship (we still communicate without intimacy to this day, even though it’s been almost over 5 years since we were intimate!)

Yet, there is also no reason that an allowance above a certain level means something different…especially near me, since there is a lot of High and Substantial requests with comments about plutonic and non-sexual in the profiles!

Remember, it is YOUR body…you decide what gets put inside it, how often, in what way and you can demand protection at EVERY interaction.

Joshsays:

@newbie-scorpio

As I indicated earlier SA has been challenging for people of color and non-hetros.

It is what it is.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@newbie-scorpio –

I once toiled with the “lingo” pot is short for potential as in a prospective SD/SM or SB. Every thread on the blog gets this question…maybe SA could provide a link or a running lingo list along the right sidebar of the blog?

Aside from that…I have not read a single comment on this blog from a MALE SB, so you are the first in my experience…I feel you have a tough road ahead of you, regardless of race, because (please correct me if I’m wrong long-timers on this blog) there are fewer Sugar Mommas (SM) than Sugar Daddies (SD) on SA.

If you are looking for a SD, you may be in the wrong pool, I’ve not heard ANY comments by SDs about finding male SBs.

But, I’m new to comments, and interested in hearing if I have the wrong perception about this site!

MizUndaStoodsays:

In SD language, does “exclusivity” = no condoms?

Seems like the need for “exclusivity” happens a lot, I am wondering what that means? Of course it’s subjective, but I wouldn’t sugar date and be unsafe just like I wouldn’t regular date and be unsafe. Is the giving of “allowance” mean my health and well being should be thrown out the window for the right price? Clarification please!

newbie-scorpiosays:

Smh. So I posted my # and got some good feedback. Changed my profile a bit and keep it updated. Only been a member for a couple weeks. No messages. Some views but I think they are only viewing me back after I initially view them. Not expecting overnight success. But I am not even luke warm. I never havrme to try this hard or at all in real world. Sugar is hard but I am willing to learn it though. I have no clue what some of the acronyms are like “POT” huh? And is there anyone interested in an attractive smart black MALE SB??? Not claiming racism. But does anyone prefer chocolate or open to explore other shades. SA school me. Hook me up! Is there some sort of network between SB to connect and exchange info?

“I laugh at people who write lengthy procedures books with the thought that anyone is ever going to read them”

Curious, do you also laugh at yourself after writing lengthy posts here? 😉

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@flyR – I haven’t gone to the length of an excel spreadsheet, because I feel it would take away from the “flow” of a conversation…but…I do have some “icebreaker” questions I will use as ‘qualifiers’…one-word, or one-sentence answers don’t cut it in a conversation!

I’m also RIGHT WITH YOU on the gov’t warning labels…and the blatant idiocy of the bureaucracy…I just saw a story that the gov’t is demanding a manufacturer of faulty airbags produce more of the new part quicker, yeah, because speed and quality go hand in hand, right?

Wait, now that I think about it, that’s a perfect analogy to the SA Sugarbowl…if your goal is speed to an arrangement, you’re probably going to have to compromise quality…that means either moving to p4p or WYP…or widening your search criteria…or lowering your expectations on allowance received/raisin your expectations on allowance paid…

flyRsays:

NC – I laugh at people who write lengthy procedures books with the thought that anyone is ever going to read them (other than critical stuff). You work hard to package stuff so that it will arrive in good condition. Statistics show that 55% of people will open the end of the box labeled “open other end” but people keep believing they will read pages of instructions. While I’m on a rant, I bought a 3′ step ladder to use in the kitchen . It came with 5 govt required warning labels.

When I was seriously searching I created an excel spreadsheet to make sure that I had asked the questions or lead the conversation to cover things which were important to me.

Alexissays:

NC Gent,
I think the main issue is that we have a lot of buyers who can’t afford the sellers’ merchandise. I REALLY hate saying this since it was always a constant subject of friction with SBs I interacted with. Most seem to just be looking to get the merchandise for free. I’m not talking reduced or sale pricing (lol). I’m talking free. Being on this side for a while has taught me a lot though. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The capability is just much, much higher for a SD/SM to find a functional SB than the reverse and while I have considered that this is only in my particular region, I doubt it very much at this point because of what other SBs in other regions have stated.

Elaine,
Imagine that lol but thank you and I do hope you’ve been well. Yes and no to your question. I was a SM for (almost) a couple of years on this site, but I never looked for lesbian SBs. Most SBs in my area are open to male/female. I’ve never been with a lesbian in my life, major ew usually.

Maybe it’s all “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.” syndrome. I don’t know. For all I know I’ll be back here cussing about SBs as soon as I have more time in my schedule to even be entertained by one lol.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@NC – yeah…YOU would think, but it’s obvious not EVERYONE thinks 😉

NC Gentsays:

OnlineNewbieSD — I was at a lunch date once, and the SB asked why I was sugar dating instead of regular dating. I said because I am married (it is in my profile). She literally almost passed out, and said she didn’t read my profile carefully. She excused herself, which was ok, but what a waste of time. It happens quite a bit to me. One would think if that was that important, you would look carefully at relationship status.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

For everyone…do you read a profile before you send a message? Before you reply to an “I’m interested” message?

I know I do…and I HATE when I ask a question about something a SB put in her profile, and she acts like she has no idea what I’m talking about…It’s also frustrating when an SB is “surprised” that I’m married (I don’t hide it)…

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@flyR – I also wanted to comment about your question of being with another woman…

I have been asked if I would expect the SB to “be available” for my friends, or expect her to “bring a friend” to play dates…I have to say SDs, if this is the level of expectation for a SB, and the trend of what I need to deal with on SA, you need to find another site, or I need to find another site! That, to me, is NOT Sugar…and it’s making it harder for ME to find my arrangement on here.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@flyR – I think you’re right on with watching the profile…I avoid the high-risk tendencies like “love going out with the girls” because I read it as “some nights I just have to get my freak on, don’t judge”. It is an interesting question about asking for exclusivity, because I have been asked to maintain only one SB by a couple of first meets…comments to me were along the lines of “I know there are guys on here just looking to whore around and I want to stay clean” or “I saw a profile of a guy on here that I dated a while back and he had an STD…didn’t include it in his profile here!”

I think the definition of “sugar” can dictate the implication of exclusivity…

A SD may define sugar as HIS woman, implying exclusivity…he may choose to define it as an escape from stress/drama/etc and the sex is a bonus, not really an implied exclusivity because if the SB is not available, he may want to cover his bases for that outlet…he may choose to define it as an outlet for a fetish, here there should be no implication of exclusivity unless the sub-culture of the fetish dictates exclusivity…

The SB also has a say in the definition, though, and may define sugar as her way to earn a living, she can do that through a high demand allowance and exclusivity (want someone to take care of her) or through the understanding that there will be multiple SDs…she may define it as a way to “go out” or “upgrade” a part of her lifestyle by dining at overpriced restaurants, shopping at boutiques or brand-name stores, travel to destinations normally out of budget, etc and again, could go down the road of “he’s providing enough” or “I would like more”…she may even define it as a way for HER to live fantasy or fetish she does not want in her “normal” life, opening the door to either multiple partners or finding that ONE that allows her enough outlet.

Again, through a decent CONVERSATION about “Sugar” prior to a first meeting, you can usually tell if someone is looking to be exclusive, or if they expect to be continually on the lookout for something different/better/additional.

Trouble can erupt if the definition changes over time, too…I had one short-lived relationship where I was helping with some bills (the allowance was her payment toward the debt, so she could stay current with it and still live her life)…a couple of weeks into the agreement a new debt appeared that was stopping her from living…another week, another debt…when the third week saw a third debt, we were done!

flyRsays:

@miz “@Creme I could not and would not make an agreement on exclusivity after one date! You can always tell him what he wants to hear, which may be what he wants anyway, or just be honest and tell him you need a moment to decide.”

It’s an issue of commitment to the relationship and sugar plus the other needs fulfilled (or not fulfilled) by the SD. SB age also plays a part in many relationships.

First question is if you really want to ask the question; but even before that there’s the issue of will you get or do you even want an honest answer.

If you want exclusivity for health reasons you need to recruit for that and provide appropriate levels of sugar.

For a single mother it may be a very acceptable arrangement, especially if you take very good care of her sensual and emotional needs along with what for her is a generous allowance.

If you think your 19 year old college SB is exclusive because you are generous esch time she comes to your hotel room for an hour you are probably delusional.

If her profile says she likes to hit the clubs of West Hollywood a couple nights a week she’s unlikely to be exclusive and likely to be partying in a high risk group. Expecting to be able to negotiate exclusivity is like asking a pig to dance, a foreign concept.

@Josh got pregnant. Had a moment of enlightenment. Said “I want a divorce”, put the ring on nightstand and left for the gym. That simple!

flyRsays:

You have to give Sterling a little respect. At 80 the attorneys are beating on him and they ask him a question. He launches into a 15 minute description of his other SB and her incredible oral talents along with a room by room description of the event. There was an army of Beverly Hills attorneys representing his wife, the Microsoft guy trying to buy the team for $2 bil by setting sterling up for the tapes.

flyRsays:

Sugar before play – I think there’s a real danger of sugar before play. This does not preclude reimbursement for travel, babysitters etc. Personally showup fees are obnoxious .

There’s a huge focus on allowances. My experience is that respect makes an allowance appear larger (not surprisingly) . Mutual respect is easily poisoned when a person who is testing the water is treated like a commodity . Others may have no problem with that as long as the sugar is adequate.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@flyR – good point about the other woman. And sterling!

flyRsays:

No Fury Like The Other Woman

Most have read the sad saga of the former Clippers owner and his sugar babe. Sterling’s wife is suing the SB for the value of the gifts Sterling gave to the bim. A little snarky for a wife who has just received 1 bil for her half of the clippers. Sterling was a piece of work,

Scarlett – “Rob” advocates only paying as much as $400 per bang if he can get “unprotected anal” he’s quite a catch at $150 to avoid what he openly refers to as overpaying for sex.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Sugar, I did not say I have dilone that…however…an engagement ring is NOT given freely, it is an implied contract. A parent helping with a car or a house down payment is an implied loan. It is a mayer of principle that if the contract is not fulfilled, the concession should be returned. If the loan is not repaid, you shouldn’t get an equal share of the estate.

I agree with SBGuru on that. Personally, I hope to be more of a fun person than a “principled” person. But that’s just me.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Principled principle principals eating Pringles on the Peninsula.

LadyScarlettsays:

“Josh says:
October 29, 2014 at 8:07 pm
LadyScarlett

“It is a negligible amount for some of these fellows.”

But not for our 24 year-old $1200/month earning “sugar daddy” Rob. ”

Wait, Rob makes $1,200 per month or gifts $1,200 per month? If he is not a bad looking 24 year old, then will take less allowance for hot, younger guy, or man closer to age 😉 Most younger men are not good SD’s, or just fakes looking to bang easy prey, on SA, unless they are extremely socially awkward, trust founders, tech gurus/business savvy young men who made it big young and are just wanting a
harem with no strings, because they can and enjoy lifestyle. That is a small percentage, though.

But not for our 24 year-old $1200/month earning “sugar daddy” Rob. 😉

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

*matter of principle, not mayor

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Lady – yes I would not advocate for minor expenses, but when you’re talking $15-40k for gifts (some were vehicles or other spring toys, or cumulative gifts) it’s a mayer of principle versus entitlement and I’m a very principled individual 😉

True that! Even though you don’t have to return anything in this case, if there is ever a time you want to return something, it should be decisive and very quick process.

LadyScarlettsays:

@Onlinenewbie, ah, okay. Are the rings usually over 10k, if it is taken to court?

LadyScarlettsays:

@creme…really, don’t feel bad, dear. If you spent four hours in car to meet him, then you made some effort as well. Back when sugaring was a little different, even a couple years ago, had several SD’s gift a thousand or two for spa and new dress to meet him, at his suggestion. One we did not even end up meeting, and the other one, well, he cancelled/ found someone else. And, another one just poofed, if I remember right. It is a negligible amount for some of these fellows.

SugarBabyGurusays:

Okay Creme – so what he gave you was a lure. He could tell you were on the fence and he was trying to sway you. I don’t particularly like SDs who demand exclusivity straight out of the gate – ESPECIALLY if the SD was married. He was hoping the cash would influence your decision, or generate chemistry where there is none, but you are not obligated to him in any way. Enjoy the cash and the coat and see if he comes back with more reasonable terms. Offering the money back just prolongs the awkwardness if you know you’re not interested.

@Sugar – I’ve had at least a half dozen clients in the last decade go that route because of “conditional” gifts. Engagements, pre-estate, etc.

LadyScarlettsays:

“OnlineNewbieSD says:
October 29, 2014 at 7:45 pm
@Sugar, you are spot on. If guy breaks implied contract of exclusivity with engagement, she keeps ring (regardless of value) just like if she cheats and he decides to call it off, she’s on the hook for giving the ring back. If she “lost” it, she’s getting sued for the value!”

Wonder how often people go to court for conditional gifts.

cremebrookelesays:

SugarbabyGuru,

The cash was given before I got into my car. When making my way back home I sent a thank you message. He replied that he would like an in-person thank you after I had “considered all my options”. I had told him during coffee that I would like to continue to date casually regardless of an arrangement. We have not set up a second meet or discussed arrangement terms. Just history/expectations/ideal scenarios.

@Sugar, I would just add that in today’s 20-somethings, exclusivity may not be as implied as it has been in past generations, the plethora of co-eds on SA and bootycall culture evidence enough!

SugarBabyGurusays:

I received a ring and the big question as a Christmas gift. Then I gave it back and moved cross country when he started vacilating on picking a date. Three months later he came crawling back and when I accepted the ring a second time I told him it was mine for good.

Women aren’t the nefarious supervillains some people like to pretend we are.

You seem to be a conscious young lady. Based on the information provided and the nuanves introduced by SB Guru, the money and gift are totally yours. Have no worries or guilt dear. 😉

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Sugar, you are spot on. If guy breaks implied contract of exclusivity with engagement, she keeps ring (regardless of value) just like if she cheats and he decides to call it off, she’s on the hook for giving the ring back. If she “lost” it, she’s getting sued for the value!

LadyScarlettsays:

“Josh says:
October 29, 2014 at 7:02 pm
@LadyScarlett

“sometimes giving gifts is even more rewarding than receiving them.”

Women like to read shit like that.”

Hmm, well was just speaking how I feel. It makes me feel good to give someone a gift. Even if it is batch of homemade cookies or something that was not expensive. It really does feel good. That is probably more of a woman/nurturing thing, so perhaps, women do enjoy reading that (:

“No Josh, great sex from a man who treats her like a prize is the ultimate high a woman can experience.

Money and gifts from a man I have no interest in is nothing but uncomfortable for everyone involved.”

Good points sweetheart.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@fly – thanks for the comments, I try to make it easy on the pot by letting her know it is HER decision to proceed. I will not start an arrangement until I know we can both enjoy intimacy, but I’m a gentleman paying for our meetings until we get to that stage. She knows what the allowance will be if we enjoy each other, she has seen the way I treat wait staff and her in public…most times the second or third “date” will transition to a hotel room that is booked on my phone, I check in and let her know the room number so we can meet there and not raise any eyebrows walking in together. This time was already going to be a narrow window on HER time, scheduled just to be intimate and confirm the start of the arrangement. Lesson learned though!

I also understand about staying “on topic” as well. My comment about being on topic was directed to keep comments directed at comments, not as references to interact and/or instigate other participants, regardless of who is using. Now that I am participating, I want to be an advocate for interaction and against instigation.