Selecting An Adoptive Family

If you are considering adoption as your parenting option, your next step will be to choose a family.

For most mothers, this is the most exciting step. Every agency will have a different process of how a birth mother selects a family, but at Legacy the choice is 100% the birth mother’s.

You and your counselor will discuss the dreams you have for your child and what you would like in a family. You will walk through different preferences and rate them on a scale from one to five. You will decide things like, do you want your child to have siblings? Do you want the adoptive parents to have college degrees? Do you want the family to live in the country or in the city? You have these hopes and dreams for your child and an agency wants to help you fulfill those.

At your next meeting, you will be shown profile books of families that would be a good match for you and your baby. You will then choose the family that best fits the desires you have for your child. For most birth mothers there is something specific, like a tradition or memory, that they connect with when they find their family. Some birth parents worry that no one will want their child if it has special needs. However, that is not the case many families are open to adopting a child with special needs.

If you are wanting an open adoption, you will be able to meet the family at a “Match Meeting” or wait to meet them at the hospital. Meeting your baby’s parents might make you a little nervous, but your counselor will be with you every step of the way. Meeting the adoptive parents can feel a little like a blind date, but don’t worry they are just as nervous as you are. There is no need to try and impress them, because you are giving them a precious and selfless gift and they already love you.

Your next step will be to build a relationship with the family you chose for him or her. The adoptive parents can attend doctor’s appointments and sonograms with you, if that is something you are comfortable with. It is very important that you get to know each other and build trust, while still maintaining boundaries. This is the beginning of a lifelong relationship for you, the family and your child, but like any relationship it will take time to grow.

Do not be nervous about selecting a family. Parents who desire to adopt must meet many requirements before they can even be considered to be adoptive parents. They go through background checks, fingerprints, home studies, financial verifications and multiple meeting with their agency to prove they are prepared to bring home a child. Most adoptive parents have had an experience that brought them the strong desire to adopt and an even stronger desire to love your child.

Legacy wants to make this the best experience possible for you and we have tailored our agency around helping birth mothers and babies first. If you would like to be matched with one of our families please contact 817-899-5000 or send us a chat.