GREECE’S state television and radio stations fell silent last night as the government abruptly shut down an institution it describes as “a haven of waste”.

The decision to close the Hellenic Broadcasting Corporation, or ERT, for an unspecified period is an austerity measure designed to satisfy the embattled country’s creditors.

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A government spokesman described ERT as “a haven of waste” and “a case of an exceptional lack of transparency and incredible extravagance”. But analysts told the New York Times the decision to suspend the broadcaster – which does not require lawmakers’ approval – was a “measure of both the government’s desperation and its determination to find a way to cut public jobs”.

Meanwhile, in America, we’re building high-speed trains to nowhere, and by “high speed trains” I mean “trains which run 10 mph faster than the current ones.”

Oh, did I say “building”? I meant we’re spending billions to plan them and draw up Environmental Impact Surveys and suchlike.