You should be game for it too! It’s like dumb James Bond, but fun!! It’s like a dumber-funner Layer Cake, a less dumb/more fun Kick-Ass, and a less awesome/more actioned X-Men: First Class. What do those last 3 flicks have in common? They came from the British king of dumb-fun – Matthew Vaughn (who took over that role from Guy Ritchie)

But the REAL reason you should see this movie? Mark Hamill is in it, and while he’s not particularly amazing in it, or even all that memorable (he mainly juss makes a bunch of grunting faces), he is in this movie, and when’s the last time you saw Mark Hamill and his face in ANY movie, on the big screen? 2001’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?? Some things are best left unseen and unsaid

Well, Mark will walk skies again this winter as Luke Skywalker, and whether the new Star Wars is simply passable, good enough OR amazing (please lord, we need this to be amazing), you may not be ready to see him again, but you need to be ready

It’s been so long since he’s been on the big screen, and that you and/or I have cared to see him on a big screen, and it is in your best interest to see him on the big screen ONE time before Star Wars drops. You need to refamiliarize yo’self with his face and acting. You want the shock and awww shucks to happen now, and not when you’re trying to take in the new Star Wars, while trying not to jizz in yer pants(/get to be disappointed all over again:)

Kingsman – so much dumb fun, and hispecially some Mark Hamill. Welcome back Mark!!! The big screen misses you. We all missed you!!! And now we’re ready for you to be a force to reckon with, again

For 9 hours of Quentin Tarantino‘s 9.75 houred Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino hands in the most un-Quentin Tarantino Quentin Tarantino movie Quentin Tarantino has ever made. That is a MOST excellent thing. Then, in that last 45 minutes, Quentin Tarantino fills his most un-Quentin Tarantino Quentin Tarantino movie with the typical Quentin Tarantino shoot-em up garbage you’d expect Quentin Tarantino to stuff into a Quentin Tarantino movie – guns are fired & blood splatters, endlessly AND ENDLESSLY AND EVEN MORE ENDLESSLLLLLLLLLY. You know it’s all too much too muchedness when Quentin Tarantino himself appears in the last 45 minutes as a bad actor with an awful Australian accent. Quentin Tarantino, why did you have to add so much so muchedness at the end of your un-Quentin Tarantino Quentin Tarantino movie that was going so well??? WHY?????

Yeah, but that first 77 hours is so much unchained fun and amusement that it almost makes up for the endless end! ALMOST!!!! For them 1278772 beginning hours, you basically get to hear Christoph Waltz not be a Nazi and talk 9ever and help Jamie Foxx find his way, and hopefully his wife (Kerry Washington). They criss-cross the country, hunting bounties, and then land in Candyland, a plantation owned by a super angry Leonardo DiCaprio, who does the same accent he does in every movie that sorta requires an accent, which is kinda the würst accent (it’s like he’s trying tooooo hard), and yet, DiCaprio is kinda the best in this movie. Actually, everyone’s the best. Even Samuel L Jackson as an evil Uncle Ben house slave is the best! And Samuel L hasn’t been the best in ages. And the cameos, oh the cameos, from the kid from Breaking Awaytothe original Django to Luke Duke to The Tamblyns to Tom Savini to… a zillion others… although we weren’t really impressed by Don Johnson’s Col Sanders and his blathering blatherskites

But that last 45 minutes. Bang, bang, bang, bang. Blood. Splatter. Pause. Repeat. Zzzzz. We get it Quentin Tarantino, but we didn’t have to have it. Did we?

Btw, this movie is not as shocking as people are making it out to be/wanting it to be, when it comes to that racy race stuff. The N word is the N word. Big wup. I don’t say that word and don’t care to hear it, but I don’t get shocked by hearing it 231812831238 times. If you want to be shocked about how fcuked up racy race shiz is/was then rent Spike Lee’s Bamboozled

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