YGoY

Tips on How to Deal with Hate

Hate is nothing but painful emotions and its consequences end up hurting both the hater and the hated. This is why we need to know how to deal with hate. It is more about dealing with the people you hate while at the same time trying to eliminate the hate from your mind itself.

Consequences
The first thing on how to deal with hate is know the devastating consequences that hate has on you personally. While you may be happy about the hurt you are causing the one you hate, remember that hate is a double edged sword and it is sharp both ways. If someone hurts you or you simply hate them, the consequences of hating them are not worth it. Your best option would be to ignore them and be indifferent.

Hate can cause you to lose focus on the direction of your own life and make you obsessed with this one person, thing or group of people. You may be forced to stay away from people you love simply because you can not be in the same place as this person. Hate is toxic and it ends up contaminating your entire being and soon you will start to hate not only that one person but also anyone and anything that reminds you of them

Causes
In an effort to rid yourself of a hateful heart, it is good to try and find out the real reason you hate something or someone. Knowing the cause will help you know if the hatred is worth while or not. For example, if you generally hate all men because you had an abusive uncle, father or teacher, it may be good for you to know that not all men are the same and that some men are actually good people. Instead of dismissing all men, get a chance to know a few and if you find that they behave the same then go ahead and hate but do not make a rash decision.

This is easier said than done and anyone who hates as a result of some form of abuse is in even more pain than others. Their hatred is absolutely justified and if they intend to take revenge, it is what keeps them focused on that goal. It has been said ‘To fight well, it is necessary to hate’. However, it is good to remember that the more you hate this person the more they stay in your life, if you try to put them out of your life and mind then they can no longer torment you. I am not saying forgive them, for what they did may be unforgivable, simply ignore them and move on with your life, be successful and this will be payment enough for what they did to you. In the initial stages, it is good to seek professional help to help you move on.

Avoidance
For those who we can not stop to hate, we can avoid. For example, if there’s a fellow student in school whom you can not stand, then simply stay out of their way and you will be surprisingly hate free. As they say ‘Out of sight is out of mind’. Then there are those who we can not successfully avoid such as family members and work mates. For these, try a new tactic. Instead of showing clear and unmistakable hatred and anger, try appearing pleasant and polite, calm and collected, or simply shut your mouth and paste a smile on your face. This will force them to change their behavior towards you and you may be surprised. You may find that they were simply reacting to you and not intentionally trying to harm you.

Conclusion: On a final note, it is good to remember that hatred is a dangerous emotion and unless we learn how to deal with hate, it will lead us to devastatingly destructive actions. There have been claims that it is the strongest of emotions and with the brain being on full alert when you hate, your actions may very well destroy both you and the one you hate. So beware, this is not pain you want.