Thursday, March 5, 2009

When did anyone ever tell you that becoming a parent meant that you were going to have to change crap for the next 6 years? Or that working all those months to get them to say their first words would all go down the drain when they so quickly pick up taking back with sarcasm? What about all the jeans with holes, because they can’t listen to stop crawling on the floor with your new pants? How about the days they just don’t want to go to school or karate or soccer practice or the stinking store? When were you ever warned that there will be more days that you have to bribe you child to do what they have to just to avoid an argument or a mini melt down? Did you know that inside these tiny little bodies with the baby faces and cutsie voices were hardcore evil politicians out to suck you soul, when you weren’t looking?

Well, I was never once told of any of this. I was told about the cute little hands and feet. The soft skin and the smiles. The coos and giggles. The warm fuzzies you get when they saw mama for the first time. The way it feels when you hold that little one for the first time. The sadness that you will feel when they go to kindergarten or the great depression that will hit you heart when they start college. The amazing new baby smell. The great milestones, Crawling, standing, walking.

Those are the things that you remember the most. Yeah, having your 2 year old crawl around on the floor in the kitchen singing a song with the words bull shit mother f-ers over and over and over again can be amusing and embarrassing all at the same time. It is always going to have a place in your memories as well. Or the time you daughter cut her own hair. When you son pooped in a shoe in the closet or even on the back patio, then covered it with a diaper. Those are all memories and funny stories to tell to embarrass the crap out of them when they are in their 20’s and dating.

However, the things that you will tell that child when he or

she is about to have one of their own will be the great stories of the first time you saw their wrinkled little faces, heard their first cry. Over celebrated their first words and first steps. That time they cried out to you in the middle of the night because of the first time there was a monster in the room or from a bad dream.

We will always leave out that the wrinkled face was that of an old man looking thing that eventually got cute, that cry that would make your ears bleed, those first words turned into swear words or back talk, those steps turned into running away when you knew you were about to get into trouble for hitting you sister. Those night time cries were every night at the same time... you no longer slept again. They can learn those on their own, just like we all did. That is when we get to sit back like our parents did and laugh. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!

But I will promise you this, I swear to never say, You will one day have a child that is just like you. That would mean that as grandma I will have to go thru it again. hahahaha!Being a mother has been the best job God could have ever blessed me with. I enjoy it so very much!