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25 July 2016

Fuck the Judgements

The last while has given me lots to chew on, analyze as I love to and carry around with me....yes that is right I have been people watching again, everywhere I go, I see it, people not caring for people....making comments at each other and about each other....sad.....and these days it doesn't seem to matter even if they are being paid to do a job for you or not, or even if they are in any one multitude of jobs that cater to the customer they still seem to think it is ok to mistreat the people their employers hired them to care for. I shared on Witch's Chamber a link about a young girl that went into a store and heard two girls that WORK there discussing the shorts she was wearing and trying to body shame her, shake my damn head, if I shake it any more I will literally break it off my neck! What exactly is going on in this world? and when did it become acceptable for this shit? Well you best settle in for a long read because I am sick to death of the judgyness of the world!

Last week I took my little one to a specialist, his now former doctor felt he must have a lip tie because of his speech, even though as his mother I knew it wasn't; I knew it was a family thing that they work out as they go, with help and speech therapy but yet they still have a certain way to say things, as my husband does and my daughter, my little witch is no different....but no! what could a mother actually know....so I went to the appointment, which went fine and of course within the first 3 minutes the doctor stated no lip or tongue tie, wonderful that bit was great, until he opened his mouth again to ask about schooling. My little one is home-schooled, it is no secret he has some behavior issues, this was not the problem, that started when the specialist judged me on my appearance and assumed he could not write, count, do mathematics, or any of the other things that come with conventional schooling....I was floored, when did Universities start giving classes that showed you what someones appearance tells you about their level of intelligence? he judged me because I was sitting crumpled in a chair, did not ask me why I was sitting like that, why I was not too fussed that my hair be coiffed, or that I wasn't wearing a stitch of makeup....I guess I was far from polished, and he was far from having a good bedside manner.....my little one can count to almost 100, he can do his alphabet, he can write his name and the days of the week, and he is learning how to read.....he can do mathematics that can make your head spin, he is a numbers kid and it shows, addition, subtraction, multiplication, division AND he is only 6 years old! He understands about gardening, soil, plants, he can reason and has a vocabulary that would make you take a seat and listen to his ideas, he is definitely a problem solver and an inventor, but that doctor knew none of that, he just judged. Like the one that sent me there with him, not one question about how we do things, how he copes, how I cope with my health and never ever having a day off, nope not one of those asked me those questions, nope just judged me on how I looked.....I have to wonder if I had done the makeup, dressed up and didn't have all this excess weight if the treatment would have been the same, I highly doubt it.

Everyday each one of us is fighting a battle that those we run into know nothing about, yet because we are so disconnected from each other no one thinks this way, instead they snicker, and comment, laugh and shame each other all in the need to elevate themselves to some unseen, unnecessary platform of bullshit that they feel they deserve. That day I was in so much pain I could barely walk, my elder son had to help me often get to and from the van, that day I was coping with the realization that I was just about to embark on a very painful and long diagnosis path to finally get some peace and be diagnosed with MS....he had no idea I had stumbled in the morning with the rash on my face, the burning nerve endings under my arms, that it took me an hour to work on my hands long enough to be able to open and close them without tears, nope he had no idea......He had no idea that just a couple of weeks before I sat in another specialists office and listened to them discuss my elder son's brain tumor like we were just bystanders, he had no idea that every day I have to take care of my mom whether I can physically or not I go. Everyday I get up no matter how I feel and make an effort to clean my house, create some crafts for my shop, home school my child, make dinner, do laundry, garden, and still function with all the issues I have health wise I make the best of everyday, still he judged me without knowing any of that....my battles are many just to keep going day by day, but I am not respected for that, no I am shamed, because I may not look up to someone else's standards.

Well you know what? I like myself, who I have become, and I know I will fight this next battle how I always do, my head held high and onward! I like me, but I do not like you or anyone like you......I am normally kind, compassionate and caring about everyone but I do not feel like people like that doctor or those girls that shamed the girl in the shorts really deserve my kindness, maybe we have been kind too long.....maybe we should be sharing the outrage, flooding the net with pictures of ourselves, us regular everyday people that push through all the nastiness in the world to still shine at the end of the day as beacons of hope and strength.....like me I know there are many out there that deal with this on a daily basis too and have no voice.....they don't have a blog, a Facebook page, and for some they don't even have the personal freedom to be able to express themselves without reproach, so for all of them I say this to all the body shamers, the better than you because I have an education, I have money you don't, and especially the oh honey you need to see a nutritionist obviously I say FUCK YOU! and I will keep saying it till the last one of you wakes up and sees we are all ONE....that's right that girl you just made fun of because you felt her ass was too big, that's right she is a part of you and you are a part of her! that young man you put down because he didn't meet your standard of good looking, yep he is a part of you too!

Our biggest problem in this world is not money, drugs, war, politics, NO it is NOT! our biggest problem in this world is our disconnectedness from each other!

3 comments:

wow........wow.......I saved this article awhile ago, and just sat down to read it now. Sister, I love how you preach, and somehow, you managed to take all the words, right out of my mouth lol, we must be sisters for real. Congradulations, for calling them out <3