Kids Say The Darndest Things

Michelle, my comedically inclined two year old daughter, has her own catch phrase. To induce pure hilarity, she proudly exclaims "Stink My Butts".

I don't know where this came from. It didn't come from her older brother who would never have adopted such a catch phrase for fear "butts" is on the long list of swear words. Michelle started dropping "Stink My Butts" a couple of weeks ago and my laughter only encouraged her. Now she uses it as a comedy crutch for instant laughs.

Michelle really is funny. She's a super ham, has pretty good timing and a wonderful sense of humour. Stink My Butts indeed...

Five year old boys are all about good guys vs. bad guys. That's everything to them. Good fights evil in every facet of life, from TMNT to Spider-Man and Star Wars and even sports. Especially sports.

Daddy: James, you're on the Red Sox.
James: No way, they're the bad guys. I won't play for the bad guys.
Daddy: It's not the Boston Red Sox. It's the Toronto Red Sox.
James: Yay! That's the good guys. I won't play for Boston.
Daddy: You are wise, James. You are wise.

Tonight he told me he could only root for one hockey team, and no, I didn't brainwash him with those thoughts. He just realizes that the Leafs are the good guys and every other team is the bad guys, so when the Ducks play the Sens it's a battle of two evil forces.

I miss the days when everything was that black and white. You had heroes and villains and it was easy to choose a side. Today, our heroes can be awfully villainous and our villains are often victims. Everything is grey. Five year old boys don't see grey, and I sincerely envy that.

Nothing beats sincere hysterical laughter, but I'm sharing another. This brief convo between James and I is pretty typical. We can't walk to my brother's house without it being a race. It's constant competition.

James: We're on Magic Tree House book #13, but Jack's only on #5.
Daddy: It's not a race.
James: It's not a race, but I'm winning.
Daddy: But it's not a race.
James: I know, but I'm winning.