Meta

Should Young Children Be Allowed to Vape In School?

today ffs takes a look at a hot-button social issue

[Note: I worked in the past for Marlboro eCigarettes as a Copy Editor before I left to blog full-time. Marlboro eCigarettes are a sponsor and friend of the blog. However, this does not effect the editorial content of the blog and I remain entirely impartial.]

ffs has never shied away from the controversial issues. From the Canadian Election to the American election, I’ve tackled it all. But it’s time for us to take a look at Vaping, the new fad sweeping America. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t really understand what vaping is (robot cigarettes?) but I do understand America.

Obviously, vaping is cool. All the cool kids are doing it and they’ll probably be doing it forever. That’s a settled issue. The one up for debate is a little different: should children (specifically children aged 7-9) be allowed to vape in schools?

Join us in the debate as we break down the pros and cons:

Pros

Children Love the Great, Smooth Taste of Marlboro eCigarettes: when faced with a double-blind research study, it is estimated that children will choose the smooth, fruity draft of Marlboro eCigarettes every time.

Vaping Is Healthy: no single health problem (polio, etc.) has been conclusively linked to vaping. Ergo, vaping is healthy. That means it should be a part of any healthy diet. No person, child or adult, that has smoked Marlboro eCigarettes have ever gotten sick in their entre lives.

Nicotine Isn’t Addictive: the socialist liberal media has been trumpeting a lie about nicotine being addictive for hundreds of years now. This is not true: real scientists in science labs have scientifically disproven this ridiculous myth. Young children can quit whenever they want, they just don’t want to. This is why Marlboro eCigarettes have double the nicotine of regular eCigarettes. Double the ‘tine, double the fun!

Vaping Will Increase Classroom Engagement: it’s more than likely that classrooms will become filled with smoke, making it difficult for children to see the teacher and the chalkboard. This will require students to move closer to the board and facilitate positive classroom collaboration.

They’re Going to Be Doing It Anyway: it’s estimated that, by the year 2018, 99% of Children under the age of twelve will be vaping. After that, it’s a simple question of where they’re going to do it. If they’re not allowed to vape in school, children will likely go to the ‘hood’ to consume their eCigarettes. This puts them at a greater risk of being mugged or otherwise attacked.

Cons

I Don’t Really Understand What Vaping Is, But It’s Probably Fine: this is also pretty self-explanatory.

Vaping May Force Children to Mature More Quickly: if young children are allowed to vape in school, they’re going to start being invited to the highschool parties. This may cause children to be placed in social situations that they’re unprepared for. In that case, they’ll have to grow up fast.

Vaping or Smoke-Filled Air Could Exacerbate Asthma and Similar Conditions: realistically, children with asthma probably shouldn’t be breathing in a ton of smoke or vape vapour, so it’s certainly possible that their condition could be made worse by breathing in fumes. However, this is probably a moo point: children with asthma will be constantly exposed to vape smoke in their day-to-day lives, so they may as well breathe it in school, too.

Vape Machines Probably Could Explode, But Wouldn’t That Be a Great Way To Go: vapes have batteries, right? Those things explode. This is why Marlboro eCigarettes have extra-safe batteries for maximum safety.

Conclusion

It appears, from a cursory glance, that the pros greatly outweigh the cons. Children, as young as seven, should be allowed to vape in schools. The only question remaining is this: should it be mandatory?

Like this:

Related

2 thoughts on “Should Young Children Be Allowed to Vape In School?”

I’m pretty sure that, legally speaking, if your face gets blown off by a vape then you can sue the company and make them pay for your reconstruction surgery. Then, while the doctors are already rearranging your features, you can have them put extra holes on there so you can vape through even more places. So that should be in the “Pro” column.