Chitownbyrd and the kern, I'm going through a lot of the same things myself. My friends are not too crazy about it, but they do their best to be supportive. My mom knows about it, but she's totally against it and says she will never accept it so I try not to ever even bring it up and I let her think that I'm always open to meeting other guys when I'm out with my friends. I understand her concerns, but she was biased against him from the start, before this ever happened, just because I was only 16 when we met and he was 30. The thing is, we were entirely friends for the first couple of years and he was all about being cautious in our relationship, but people will always make assumptions. She assumed he was taking advantage of me then and now she assumes he's just going to get out and re-offend. I can understand that's a possibility, but I don't feel like I have to worry about it because I know the circumstances surrounding what he did and I'm confident that he's learned from this 11 year sentence. I think all that's important is that you can accept everything and trust what the future will bring. When your friends and family see all that working out and how happy you are, they will come around. That's how I like to look at it!

Wow-thanks for good news..Trouble is,now I will be constantly hanging on to my phone incase I miss a call-and in the past I've missed quite a few!!
Mmm,but also,it will mean now that if I don't hear from him,I'll start fretting about why not!
By the way,I haven't sent back my visiting form yet-too scared to incase they deny me as I didn't know him prior to 'incarceration'.My Sweetie is going to speak with his counselor to see if he can swing it our way as we desperately want to see each other.Does anyone know if the Counselor can actually do this?
P.s. Chitownbyrd-loads of luck to you!!

You have to lie on the form or they WILL deny you. They denied me for it and my guy talked to his councelor.. he said as long as it says yes i would have been approved, so i sent in another saying that.. i would just go ahead and put yes. =)

The kern... I also didnt realize how much a part of his life i as until the lockdown and when he could call he called everyday.. but esp with the sweet letter he sent. When people make their comments i usually just say "your miserasble and jealous!"... heh.. =)

Jensmcm... so how old are the 2 of you now? i am 19 he will be 34 in a week... i love me some older men =D.......My mom has never asked his age..or really anything about him because she thinks he doesnt matter.. My mom is definately biased.. even against my lifestyle.. and with him being a "bad influence" she thinks hes making me this way.. lol... (with the tattoos is what im talkign about..).. MEH.. she can have her loser husband.. and i can have someone who will make me happy

Work was BORING... ugh.. and i have to go back today. I dont understand how they think you will get everything and everyones name in one day. "can you run this to elaina and stay at her register for her break?".. uhh who is elaina? where is she? ... i hate being new at jobs.. makes you feel DUMB

I don't want you guys to worry too much, but I felt like I should share this bit of info. with you because I know you've been thinking about visits. I talked to my guy again this morning and I was asking him if the lockdown will definitely end on Monday and he said they don't really know because that's just been a rumor. Then he said he's not sure how much it matters anyway because there's more trouble on the horizon. I was like what does that mean and he said he couldn't get into all the details right now, but there might be more drama to cause another lockdown if they get let out soon. I really hope he's wrong about that, but I just wanted to give you a heads up. Why can't these guys just grow the hell up and stop messing things up for everyone who wants to have normal life in there?

Chitownbyrd, it's really funny you brought up the age thing because you and your man are almost the same distance apart as me and mine. I'm 23 and he's 37. I always go for the older ones too! Hang in there with the new job. I feel like that too- like an idiot when I don't know all the little things everyone else knows. It's especially bad for me too because I supervise a bunch of people who are older than me. It'll get easier though!

The kern.. i go to bed early when i feel bummy.. hoping tomorrow and MAIL will come sooner!

Jensmcm.... that really pisses me off.. i really dont undersand WHY everyone has to suffer because 2 gangs have issues.. why everyone else has to suffer because they want to misbehave! I have no patience for people like that........Thanks gods hes getting out this year!

well im feeling bummy.. no letter today.. i guess after a week of getting one everyday and then not for 2 days in a row it just sucks! hopefully you all are hearing from your men.. and hopefully he will gimmie a ring tonight.. any word on this lockdown??

Well ladies I went to go visit this weekend and it was very packed up but i seen my baby saturday, sunday and monday. The CO's were like howks and they had about 6 to 7 CO's in the visiting room. Well everything went well the only thing of course the food ran out so quickly. Well ladies I dont know what race your boyfriend are but wht my baby told me that the blacks are on lockdown till this moment because it was there problem and that's why the facility was on lockdown but as for the other races they are running normal routine, but he did mention that there is still some drama going on so he just told me they might be going back on lockdown but its not due to them.
Well ladies i see you guys were mentioning about age, well my man is 10 years older then me and i think that's better because they are more mature. Well ladies i'll be visiting my baby this weekend as well "that's if they dont go back on lockdown".

We are both white.. i wonder if since they are on normal routine if email is working?.. well i havnt gotten one.. but i am getting frustrated with this whole damn lockdown. Im glad your visit worked out... i didnt know if they were REALLY going to have visits this weekend! And yep.. older guys are better because that same reason.. i think he has read some books or somethign because he knows me all too well =)~

We are both white.. i wonder if since they are on normal routine if email is working?.. well i havnt gotten one.. but i am getting frustrated with this whole damn lockdown. Im glad your visit worked out... i didnt know if they were REALLY going to have visits this weekend! And yep.. older guys are better because that same reason.. i think he has read some books or somethign because he knows me all too well =)~

Well Chitownbyrd, eventually the lockdown situation will end. As to us woman who are with jail birds all we can do is hang in there. We have to remember that they live a HOLE diffeerent lifestyle and all they have to do is go with the flo. So if there way of survival in there is riots or what ever it may be all we can do is pray each and every day that it aint our love one getting hurt and thanking GOD that our love one is save, cause only they know what they go trough in there. So all we can do is hang in there and give them love and support, cause we are all going trough this, the inmates and us. They physically live it and we emotionally feel it.

I completely understand.. Its still irritating though =).. especially a straight week of calls and mail.. and then going to nothing.. i just miss him a whole lot =D.. yesterday i was watching videos of prison fights and riots on youtube.. and all i could think about was i cant wait for him to get out of there. Im here for him for any kind of support he needs. He stays out of trouble though, so i never have to worry TOO much. Im ready to get out of here and help him to live the lifestyle he wants and deserves. ::sigh::

I completely understand.. Its still irritating though =).. especially a straight week of calls and mail.. and then going to nothing.. i just miss him a whole lot =D.. yesterday i was watching videos of prison fights and riots on youtube.. and all i could think about was i cant wait for him to get out of there. Im here for him for any kind of support he needs. He stays out of trouble though, so i never have to worry TOO much. Im ready to get out of here and help him to live the lifestyle he wants and deserves. ::sigh::

I feel you. I know it's very fustrating and irritating so just hang in there. It sounds like you realy like this guy and that you care for him alot, that's good. You also got to remember there on a point system each month so he also might of used his points up and since it is the end of the month it's most likely. He is probably waiting to the first of next month, because that is when they get there points again.

Well i dotn think it as anythgn with pts.. i know he is low on cash.. but he said hed give me a call sometime ths week.. I *THINK*.. i am going to send him some money for his birthday.. depends on my check.. because his bday present is supposed to me me coming to visit! lol.. he had $2 left.. so it would only be like 10 min call... but id take a 1 min call if it was offered.. I hope he got the card and stuff i sent him =)..... have u ladies read about the valentines day project on here? The post card one.. what do u think about it?

I'm so confused about the status of the lockdown. My boyfriend's white too and I was able to talk to him twice on Sat. and then on Sun., but he said they were still on lockdown and he was hoping it would end Monday. That's when he told me that there was other drama that might cause them to stay on lockdown or go back on it right after they get off. It must not be completely determined by race since he was locked down all weekend. Anyway, I'm just confused about the whole thing...

Chitownbyrd, what's this Valentine's post card project? Oh, and I wouldn't be too concerned about not getting a call yet. Since he's so low on money, he's probably trying to space out the calls more so he doesn't have to go forever without talking to you after he makes this call. And, it could be that he's locked down and can't call. My guy's supposed to call tomorrow or Thurs. so I'll have to see if he gets to use the phone.

That IS pretty confusing...and irritating.. i guess i still dont understand how they can punish ALL the inmates for something someone else is doing.. they already got their punishment and thats called prison!

The project is theres a list of people sending post cards to everyone on the list .. and they will write whatever message the person wants so they can send to their SO in jail..like i had everyone write "Nikkis showing Ryan some love! Happy Valentines Day 2007! Your on your way!" .. then i will send him the cards from all over the states and a couple from different countries.. and explain to him how many people from all over are cheering him.. and US on.. =D... ... we usually try to space out calls so we dont get super frustrated... i really hope he can call soon!!..

hmm i wonder.. i didnt hear from him at all today and usually when email works i hear from him all the time. kinda dissapointing... like all days i dotn hear from him lol.. any luck on your ends? any change in the lockdown crap?

I did get a call last night , but I forgot to ask him about the lockdown. It seemed like it was over though. He mentioned some things he's been doing so I don't think anyone's locked down now. Yay! Maybe you're guy's out of money on email now. I'm not sure, but hopefully you hear from him or get some mail soon!

well he called tonight.. which is exciting.. Though he was drunk.. but hey they celebrted his birthday tonight before the CO made them get rid of their "wine". Im in a weird mood though, he siad hed call back and he didnt im not mad though.. this would have been the weekend i would have flown out there to visit if it wasnt for the lockdown. Part of me feels like i miss him so much, and yet i never met him.. hmm