Joke | In a Restaurant

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen. 4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

In a Restaurant

I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud. So I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I realized why they gazed at me. I was listening to my iPod.

Joke | Only Three Doors

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen. 4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

Only three doors

An airline captain met a new blond stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened.

She answered the phone, crying and said she couldn’t get out of her room. „You can’t get out of your room?“, the captain asked. „Why not?“. The stewardess replied: „There are only three doors in here“, she sobbed. “One is the bathroom, one is the closet and one has a sign on it that says: DO NOT DISTURB!“.

Joke | My Grandma Walks

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen. 4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

My grandma walks

My grandmother’s doctor told her once: “You must keep in shape”. So my granny started walking five kilometers when she was 60. Now she is 97 and we don’t have a clue where she is!

Joke | The Doorbell

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen.4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

The Doorbell

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.

He walks up behind the little fellow, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over and rings the doorbell. Crouching down to the boy’s level, the priest smiles friendly and asks, “And now what, my little man?” And the little boy replies, “Now we run!”

Joke | Coca-Cola Salesman

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen. 4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

A Salesman in Saudi Arabia

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his assignment to Saudi Arabia. A friend asks: „Why weren’t you successful with the Saudis?“

The salesman explains: „When I got posted, I was very confident that I would make a fortune. But I had a problem. I didn’t know how to speak Arabic. So I planned to convey the message through three posters:

First poster: A man is lying in the hot desert sand totally exhausted.

Second poster: The man is drinking Coca-Cola.

Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.

And then these posters were pasted all over the place.“ „Terrific! That should have worked“, says the friend. „The hell it should have“, says the salesman. „No one told me they read from right to left!“

Joke | Two old ladies and a condom

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen. 4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

Two old ladies and a condom!

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench smoking their cigarettes, when suddenly it begins to rain. The first old lady takes out a condom and puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking. Second old lady, quite amazed asks: „What is that?“ First old lady replies: „It’s a condom.“ Second old lady: „Where can I buy one?“ First old lady: „At the pharmacy.“ So off to the pharmacy she goes to get herself a pack. She walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. The pharmacist quite surprised at the request – because she is over 80 years old – asks her: „Which size?“ And she replies: „Oh, I don’t really care as long as it fits a Camel!“

Joke | Computer Error

If you need to look up some words we recommend those sites:

http://dict.leo.orgin http://translate.google.de/#de|en

Instructions:

1. Read the joke in English then in German 2. Look up new words. 3. Click the play button and listen. 4. Listen and read at the same time. 5. Try to read the German text aloud. 6. Make sure you imitate the pronunciation of the speaker. 7. Try to answer the questions in the pauses (you may look at the answers). 8. After a few times don’t look at the answers anymore. 9. Repeat this lesson every day for one week or more.

A little too short!

A man and a woman (his wife) get a new computer. They get to the point when they have to decide on a password. The man types in: „mypenis“. The woman falls over laughing when an error message pops up and says: „Error – Not long enough“.

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