The You Beyond Fear

by Audrey L. Vitolins, MSW

Feeling in control is one of the
main issues for cancer survivors.
And there are ways to be
in control during and after treatment.
Worrying, although understandable,
isn’t one of them. Interestingly, worry
is only a perceived sense of control
and has not ever, and will not ever,
prevent or change outcomes. I say
“interestingly” because most of my
clients spend at least 90 percent of
their brainpower worrying – with not
one satisfying result.

The great challenge to humans is
that the path to freedom and “control”
is, paradoxically, to let go. And to do
that, one needs to move beyond and
away from fear. This is no insignificant
task, but it is possible and doable
– even with a cancer diagnosis. It also
doesn’t have to take years of therapy
as we have been led to believe.

What many don’t realize is that fear
is an energy vibration that will block us
from experiencing hope, joy, comfort,
and love. Fear blocks us from higher
guidance and direction. And when we
block those higher vibration experiences,
we may be alive, but not full of
life. Missing out on love, laughter, joy,
and peace is due to fear, not the actual
cancer. This concept may not be popular,
but it really is liberating if you take
a closer look.

Ask yourself, What would I really
like to experience, but haven’t because
fear is holding me back? More laughter?
A tango class? Travel? Having
the courage to say hello to a stranger,
skipping down the street, cooking for
your in-laws? I want to share with
you some insights into fear to get you
started on a path to authenticity.

Fear blocks us from higher guidance and direction. And when
we block those higher vibration experiences, we may be alive,
but not full of life.

Audrey L. Vitolins

It’s important to understand that
we are not talking about the type of
fear that keeps us alive, such as the
sensation you experience when you
are too close to the edge of a steep
cliff or in the way of an oncoming
car. This is fear based on the reality
of the moment.

The type of unproductive fear I
am talking about is the type of fear
that isn’t based on what is happening
right now. You’ve probably heard,
“Fear = False Evidence Appearing
Real.” Unproductive fear prevents
you from living a full life in this
very moment. We’ll look at four
components:

First, understand
that
unproductive
fear is not in
the present.
It is what Buddhists
call “the
monkey mind,”
where the mind
swings back and
forth between
the past and future
without ever being in the present.
We experience this when we spend
our valuable life energy worrying
about what might happen or what has
happened and then applying it to the
future. “I’ve never felt confident;
therefore, I never will,” or “What if
I move to my dream house and then
I hate my neighbors?”

Second, we must understand the
nature of the ego and its job to create
doubt. Many don’t realize that the
ego can show up as that voice of doubt
that we assume is rational or realistic.
For instance, “You can’t take that watercolor
class because you’re too old,
color blind, don’t have a lick of talent,
your mother said you were terrible
in art, it costs too much …” The key
here is that the voice of your ego is
different from what your heart (soul,
Higher Self, etc.) wants for itself and
knows that it needs.

Third, humans are very attached to
ideas about the way things should be.
We spend a lot of energy resisting what
is, focusing on what should be and all
of its injustices, and consequently
feeling miserable. The opposite of
this is accepting – not to be mistaken
for giving up. Accepting frees up restricted
energy and moves us into the
beautiful flow of being available for
right now.

Lastly, I believe fear is a habit. And
like all habits, this one can be broken
with commitment and focus. For most,
fear has become a habitual reaction
instead of a thoughtful, intentional, authentic
response to life and possibility.
Who and what are you waiting to
be or to experience? The world needs
your authentic contribution – the you
beyond fear.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Audrey Vitolins is a motivational
speaker and transformational coach
who encourages individuals and businesses
to live and operate authentically. For more
information on Audrey, her keynotes, workshops,
consulting, and one-on-one guidance,
go to AudreyVitolins.com.

This article was published in Coping® with Cancer magazine,
March/April
2010.