There’s naught quite like the unspoken love between a girl, her burly protector and the cranial implant primed and ready to painfully melt his brain the moment he shows the slightest inclination for violence.

Acquaintanceships begun by openly comparing one of the parties to an “actress” you’ve seen in an adult film RARELY blossom into affection. So it speaks to the *ahem* charm of protagonist Dan Marshall that he managed exactly that.

Still, poor Dan fell for Faye so hard he elected NOT to summarily execute her on discovering her father was a bit of a nightmare.
That’s restraint.
That’s love.

Seriously anything. This guy/gal is so busy saving up his/her ethical standards for fighting off the galactic apocalypse, he/she will literally bed anything that so much as winks/flails/excretes in her/his direction!

Imagine Romeo and Juliet. Only their roles are reversed. And Juliette gets whacked. And rather than taking his own life, like some cry-baby wuss, Romeo uses demonic jaw tentacles to rip a bloody swath through every gangster in a 300 mile radius.

Junkie Horndog Monster Hunter seeks buxom sorceress who can magic off her clothes for intellectual pursuits.
Unlike the latter couple, Geralt and Triss are not star-crossed lovers. Or at least they’re not star-crossed. But what they lack for in traditional romance, they more than make up for in getting-their-kit-off. Which is a character trait somewhat less disfavoured on Feb 14th...

Now I’m not here to pass judgement [Editor – Actually, Jack, that’s exactly why you’re here] but this pair seem a little TOO into the rough stuff. Undeniably they love one another. With a cold fury. But honestly, if they don’t skip to the main event one of them is going... to end up... dead...

If the social pressure of this holiday isn’t quite enough to make your love-life feel woefully inadequate, you could always take a gander at Squad 7’s deplorably touching will-they-wont-they.Welkin and Alicia are a couple so despicably enamoured with one another that VC’s epilogue will have you dry-retching over your controller in jealousy.

And to think it all started when he dropped pellets of rabbit dung into her hand.