We’re on a short home visit to the US. When we come to America we live in a small town of 5000 people. This year we’ve met lots of new neighbors as we’ve attended to the necessary details and repairs to our car and home. When we tell them what we do overseas, some have said, “Thank you for your sacrifice.” We usually say something like, “We really love what we are doing.”

But in my mind I say, “Sacrifice? What sacrifice? We live in a nice condo with manicured gardens. We live in a modern city where we can buy almost anything we want and all we need. The common language is English. Even if I lived in the States I probably wouldn’t get to see my kids and grandkids more often than I do while serving overseas.”

In the light of what many of my PW sisters face, I really don’t feel very sacrificial. But then, is that really the issue? Does living in the bush and reading by candlelight really please God more? Is living through a civil war or being deported because of beliefs the measure of commitment?

I’ve been on home visit since the middle of September. With all the activities and visits, I have not been able to write an article. But I found a great article, by Velvet Ashes contributor, M’Lynn, that gives a fresh way to look at a common problem. It helped me and I think you’ll find it helpful too.

Confessions of a Control Freak

I used to be a perfectionist control freak. Trying to meticulously organize every single little detail of my life was my way of dealing with stress. I felt if I could keep everything under control, that ball of anxiety that I kept tightly wound up in my chest wouldn’t explode. This was counterproductive, of course. The more I tried to control, the more stressed I became. Even little things had to be just right to keep me happy. Once, on a service trip, I was upset that a teammate didn’t make the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches the way I would’ve done it. Another time, I was aggravated with someone for not shredding lettuce properly. Don’t judge me crazy. I’m being honest, here!

One day, as my future husband and I sat chatting with our pre-marital counselor, I had a breakthrough.

Recently we led a family retreat for a local church. Their theme included encouraging others. Although my husband is well-known as an encourager, he realized that he did not have a single sermon or lesson on the topic. So combining his own experience, observation, and biblical concepts, he wrote a lesson he called Portrait of an Encourager.

I’d like to share some of his thoughts with you. I’ll include some personal examples that might bring these home to you, my friends, who are living and working in cultures other than your own.

Remember: anyone can encourage. After all, the Great Encourager, the Holy Spirit, dwells in us. He helps us and helps us help others.

In the early years of our marriage, we moved every few years. This helped to keep us from accumulating too much.

Nevertheless, over the years, we’ve accumulated a lot of things. We’ve been given lots of gifts and we’ve bought things we liked. How about you?

Susan V. Vogt wrote a book called, Blessed by Less. For Lent one year, Susan took action: she gave away one thing a day for forty days. But what happened during that penitential period surprised her; she became so addicted to identifying unnecessary things in her life that she continued the practice for a full year. Then she began letting go of other baggage—some physical, some emotional—and found that, far from feeling poorer, she felt freer and more fulfilled than ever before. A spiritual place had opened that allowed Susan to unclutter her mind and deepen her faith.

Susan wrote, “Your life is an overflowing closet. You know it is. There are sweatshirts folded up in a corner of your mind where your children’s birthdays should be stored. That worry about the rust on the car is taking up the space that you had reserved for a slow cup of tea in the morning. I know how you feel. And guess what? There’s a way to get stuff back where it belongs: let go of some of it.

“Living lightly is not just about the stuff we accumulate, and it’s not just for people in the second half of life. It’s about an attitude of living with fewer burdens and encumbrances, whether you’re twenty-one or sixty-five. When done with honest self-awareness, the journey toward living more lightly has moved me to realize that I am blessed by less. Less stuff and worries have opened space to live with more contentment and meaning. Living lightly reminds me that my existence is more than accumulating possessions and status. Ultimately, I am on a spiritual pilgrimage. [Read more…]

So, where do we find that joy? Many of our readers know the answer to that question in a very deep and personal way. Even so, Christmas is a great time to remember where real joy has its source.

Sue Eenigenburg in More Screams, Different Deserts, wrote a chapter called ‘Joy in His Presence.’ I’m including part of that chapter (with Sue’s permission). She did a great job of putting words to some of my recent thoughts.

Sue bases her musings on Luke 10:38-42. Jesus is visiting one of his favorite places, the home of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. As we well know, Martha had worry issues, and some irritability with her sister, too. Here’s Sue:

Mary knew that true joy in life was not found in her accomplishments or activities, but in her relationship with Jesus Christ. She would not allow herself to be distracted from her relationship with the Lord by things to do.