In order to gather support to win the war that is still waging, the Gaang has to visit a very unusual establishment. What is this freaky place, and why is everyone acting like they're married? Primarily Zoph with Kataang, Sokki, and Longerbee. REVIEW ME!

A/N: I HAD to do it. I was
just so bummed about the lack of Zoph fics that I was FORCED to take
action. Plus I was really bored today and this idea had been nagging
at me. Okay, BEFORE YOU START TO READ: (Pay attention, this is
important!!!) The will be fanship bashing, but it's all in good fun,
I swear! I, personally, am a diehard Zoph fan. Kataang and Sokki are
cool too. These are the couples in the fic, along with Smellershot. I
make fun of other couplings because it is funny, not because I am
against them. If I offend you, I'm sorry, but I'm only joking. Don't
take this stuff seriously, PLEASE! This is a humor fic, so instead of
getting ruffled and miffed, just laugh because it is funny. Or at
least I hope it will be.

ANOTHER THING: This whole
chapter seems to be all dialogue. There's a reason for that! I wanted
this chapter to come from a blind perspective, (Like a blind
omnicient), therefore there isn't too much detail on what can be seen
with the eyes. I just wanted to try it once. It was sort of a
literary experiment to put myself in Toph's position. I'm pretty
pleased with the result, but I leave the final decision to you. I'm
not sure if I'll continue with this writing style, but if you really
don't like it let me know. I hate writing in first person when it
comes to stories. It just feels too one-sided to me. I like knowing
everything that's going on.

LASTLY: Merry
Christmahanukwanaka and Happy New Year!!!

OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET:

Disclaimer: I don't own
Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm kind of glad I don't too, because I
doubt I could ever come up with a character as freaking awesome as
Toph.

AND ANOTHER THING!!!!!: I
forgot to mention that everyone is older in this fic. Toph is now 18,
and I'll leave you to do the math around that to get everyone else's
ages, because I SUCK at math!!! Okay, I'll let you get to the story
now. Sorry I delayed you so much!!! Enjoy it, AND don't forget to
review!!!

Happily
Wedded Bliss

It was sickening. Why
would a place like this even exhist? Toph silently fumed as she was
truly embarassed by her fellow Earth Nation citizens. The Gaang,
consisting of Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, Toph, and Zuko, were
standing in front of a large walled in city within the city of Ba
Sing Se. Overhead was a sign positioned at the top of the gate they
had to go through that read "Holy Matrimony". Below those
dreaded words it read in smaller letters "A blissful retreat for
newlyweds sure to bring prosperity to any new marriage".

The only reason Toph knew
what it said at all was because Sokka had gotten into the habit of
reading EVERYTHING aloud after Toph had accused him of being unable
to read and making things up. It started when he had read an add for
a play about the avatar that featured a love story between the avatar
and a sassy earthbender. Toph accused him of lying, since the whole
idea was just nuts, and an argument erupted from there. The only
thing keeping her from pummeling him with dirt was Zuko lifting her
from the ground. She didn't really complain since then, because it
did come in handy to know what signs said, even it was something as
dumb as this.

"Why are we here
again?" Toph asked out loud. She knew, but she was hoping that
everyone else had forgotten and they would just leave and could put
this awful place behind them. She was trying to resist the
overwhelming urge to bury the place under a mountain.

"Yeah... Why are we
here?" Ah... good old Sokka. Sometimes Toph was truly grateful
he was a bonehead. Now only four more to go.

Katara sighed. Not a good
sign, not at all. "Here it comes..." Toph though as she
braced herself for what was next.

"We are here because
we need to talk to Longshot and Smellerbee", she said and Toph
swore she could hear Katara's eyes rolling in her head.

"The last we heard
they got married and decided to enjoy it before getting back to the
war" Aang explained.

"Wait a second..."
Apparently Sokka was begining to figure something important out,
because Toph could feel him tensing up. He usually did that right
before he began flailing his arms and jumping around in his usual
manner as he shouted whatever came to mind. "LONGSHOT AND
SMELLERBEE GOT MARRIED!?!?!". Toph smirked. He really was
getting too predictable. She had no idea who he was ranting about or
why they needed to get in touch with them, but apparently the idea of
them together was too far out for Sokka to grasp. Something about
"The Silent Wonder" and "Ms. I-Wish-I-Was-A-Boy".

Toph could sense Zuko off
to her side. He was shaking violently and Toph was worried until she
heard his attempts to quell his laughter. The result was a weird
wheezing-cough noise that sounded like Momo farting. If Princess was
giggling then this SmellerShot union must've been a real hoot.

"I don't understand
what's wrong with two people in LOVE getting MARRIED" Suki said
with an edge to her tone. Toph grinned as she felt Sokka stop moving
altogether. Apparently there was something to be read between the
lines and Toph had a pretty good hunch that Sokka was being glared
at. Poor guy... Totally whipped, though it was pretty obvious that
Suki could have most guys whipped with ease.

"Errrr... Uhhh...
Nothing?" Sokka managed to cover his ass.

Toph leaned toward Sokka
and just had to comment. "Smooth move, Romeo" she whispered
loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Shut up, Toph! Let's
just get in there, talk to the creepy... err... HAPPY couple, and
get going" Sokka barked.

"Let's just get this
over with" Zuko said gruffly, but Toph could still hear the
smile in his tone. She was with Pyro on this one, the sooner this was
over, the better. She was NOT looking forward to being surrounded by
mushy stuff and goo goo eyes galore. Couples were irritating, (She
was traveling with two for crying out loud!), but newlyweds were
hell. She knew this from the scarring experience she had when her
cousin Hana came to visit with her new hubby and stayed for a week at
her parents' house. It was torture, pure torture. And now she was
looking at that nightmare again, only this time a hundred fold.

"Goody" She
mused aloud humorlessly to herself.

Aang marched up to the
gate and rapped on the huge door. Moments later Toph heard the sound
of a small door sliding open and the voice of someone new. Said voice
was dripping with sugar and tempting the Blind Bandit to gag.

"Aaah! Welcome!
Welcome!" The speaker was either a woman or an effeminate male,
it was hard to tell. "This is truly a wonderful sight! THREE
happy couples here to bask in the glory of their new relationship! I
was so afraid that the war would stop people coming, or even, HEAVEN
FORBID, getting married at all!!!".

"Ummm... Hello
there... Uhhh... Person!" Sokka was trying to be diplomatic,
but it was obvious that the person he was addressing was hard to
place a gender to even with sight. "We are here to see some
friends of ours, actually".

"Oh really?! That's
so sweet! A reunion between married friends!!!" Suddenly the
voice got lower, and a tad scary, "You ARE married, right?
Because you HAVE to be married to even enter the gates of our little
paradise".

As Sokka fished for words
Katara piped up for him. "Oh, of course we're married! Isn't it
obvious? This is Aang, my hubby. I'm Katara. That's my brother,
Sokka, and his wife, Suki. We had a double wedding." Toph could
feel the "married" couples moving closer together and
posing like they really were newlyweds. Considering how lovey-dovey
they already were it wasn't a hard act to put on. She was still kind
of stuck on the word "hubby" and she mouthed the word as if
to magically make it sound intelligent. It didn't work and her
expression twisted into one of disgusted confusion.

"What about those
two?" Asked the chipper voice. Toph froze. "She wouldn't
DARE" she thought to herself as dread creeped up her spine.

"Oh them?"
Katara laughed nervously.

"The grumpy looking
one is Toph and the grumpier looking one is Zuko. They were forced
into an arranged marriage and came here in hopes of cozying up, if
you know what I mean..." Toph was going to kill Sokka, and from
the sound of Zuko growling beside her, she would have to do it before
he got to him first.

"OOOOooooooh!!! Well
that makes sense!!!" Said that damn voice.

"So, can we come in?
We are kind of in a hurry to see our friends again" Aang said
pleadingly.

"OF COURSE!!!! Just
one moment" the voice chirped.

The little door that the
person had been speaking through slid closed and the group waited as
patiently as possible for the gates to open. Sokka had wisely moved
to a safe spot behind Suki when he sensed he was screwed.

"Oh, you can hide,
Ponytail, but I WILL get you for this" Toph hissed.

"Yeah, yeah! But I
had to do it so you could get in!" Sokka argued.

"We would've been
happy to wait outside, FOOL!" Zuko barked.

"Whatever! You guys
earned it! It serves you right, Shorty, for making me look bad in
front of my girlf... errr... WIFE!!! And you... Well you deserve it
because you're a firenation jerk!!!" Sokka shouted, only to duck
and cower behind Suki when a rock was lobbed at his head and a
fireball shot over him at the same time.

"Cut it out, you
guys. This could be fun! I mean think about it, married couples are
just SO adorable!!! And fun!" Katara said as she tried to pacify
the fuming trio.

"And I really don't
like being a meat sheild for Sokka" Suki muttered.

Toph groaned.

Zuko groaned.

Toph turned her head in
Zuko's direction and tried to look at him through sightless eyes. She
sensed Zuko looking back at her blank stare. They looked away
simultaniously.

Zuko and Toph groaned in
unison.

And then the gate was
opening and everyone was being dragged inside while someone was
loudly singing "Here come the brides!!!" out of tune.

A/N: So... What did you
think? I know I didn't get too far into detail with this chapter, but
that's because it's the first chapter and I want to give you a reason
to keep reading! I'm just sneaky like that. Anyway, I truly hope you
loved this as much as I do because I REALLY want to keep going with
this story. Let me know what you thought, PLEASE!!!!

Now, all you have to do is
leave a review for me. It will make my Christmas very merry. Please,
for the love of milk and cookies, GIVE A REVIEW!!!!

P.S.

After all... Santa's
watching you...

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.