2016

Please accept my best wishes, hopes and prayers for an emotionally fruitful and blessed 2016.

Speaking of being blessed, Lila turned seven years old on Christmas Eve at 8:38am. The last seven years have literally flown by—and even though I was drunk for a few of those years, I’ve never taken more pride in anything other than being a dad. I don’t remember life before becoming a father, and I couldn’t imagine my life being any other way.

Sure, there are a few things I would do differently if I could turn back the clock—but who would do everything exactly the same if given the chance?

During 2015, Lila started first grade, lost three baby teeth, played another season of soccer, went to visit her cousins/grandparents in Pennsylvania, became an excellent reader, ate healthy, ate a lot of ice-cream (contradicts previous item, I know), grew as a big sister, went to the beach countless times and rode her razor scooter like a god damn scooter champion. She even learned how to ice skate.

The kid does what she is supposed to do and never complains. Ok, she sort of complains sometimes—but a lot less than the average rug rat.

I’m proud of her, and I love her to no end.

What did I do in 2015? It’s more about what I didn’t do—which is, drink. I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol. What is the result of abstaining from alcohol?

Productivity and happiness.

I had a more productive 2015 as a father, person and employee than the previous three years combined. I sometimes think to myself: “where would I be if I was never an alcoholic? Would I be doing bigger and better things?” Maybe—but I’m not so sure. I think alcohol showed me how bad life could get, if I let it.

If I Let It.

And, quitting showed me how good life can be if I choose to be happy.

Choose to be happy.

Maybe I would’ve never known how good life can be if I didn’t see how bad it can actually get. I know a lot of miserable sober people.

I’m not going to lie and say that urges to drink don’t surface periodically, because they do. Sometimes the urge is very strong. Fortunately, I now realize where that drink will take me—it will take me back to a dark place that I’ve been walking away from for almost two years now. It’s not going to happen.