Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.--Lilo and Stitch.Beatles to battle!--Paul, Yellow Submarine movieListen. Do you want to know a secret?Have you hugged your Paul Today?Drop me a letter in my mailbox.

Okay, so there's guy on his death bed. He's just about to pass away when he makes one last dying wish. "Lord," he says, "All I want right now is just a plate of my wife's chocolate chip cookies, that's all I ask."And then, suddenly, he smells the cookies baking from downstairs. So he drags himself out of bed, crawls downstairs, (this is a dying man, remember) and he finally reaches the kitchen. He spots the plate of cookies on the counter, and as he reaches up to grab one, he feels someone slapping his hand "Don't touch!" says his wife. "Those are for the funeral!"

Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.--Lilo and Stitch.Beatles to battle!--Paul, Yellow Submarine movieListen. Do you want to know a secret?Have you hugged your Paul Today?Drop me a letter in my mailbox.

Just imagine: you and me. On a romantic cruise. Just good friends. Then the ships sinks. Everybody's drowned, except you and me. We manage to reach an unhabited island. There's food enough, there's bananas and coconuts. A lot of fresh water as well. We both know we won't be rescued and will have to stick with eachother for the rest of our lives. In fact, we will probably die on the island. What do you think, will we ever have sex together, maybe even once?

Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.--Lilo and Stitch.Beatles to battle!--Paul, Yellow Submarine movieListen. Do you want to know a secret?Have you hugged your Paul Today?Drop me a letter in my mailbox.

A little boy is in a closet spying on his mom and her lover when his dad shows up. The mom jumps up and says "Quick, its my husband get in the closet.In the closet the little boys says "sure is dark in here". The man replys "yep it is" I got a baseball "you want to buy it ask the little boy "Nope" says the man. "My dads out there" says the boy. "Ok how much do you want for the ball?" ask the moms lover. "$250.00" says the boy. "Its a deal" says the man.The next week again in the closet spying the boy finds his moms lover joining him in haste as he dad gets home early from work. Again the boy says "sure is dark in here" and again the man agrees saying "it certainly is". "I got a baseball glove now, you want to buy it?". the boys asks.

Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.--Lilo and Stitch.Beatles to battle!--Paul, Yellow Submarine movieListen. Do you want to know a secret?Have you hugged your Paul Today?Drop me a letter in my mailbox.

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests cameback with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looksgreat physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you atpeace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with yourGod?" George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight,so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to goto the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) thelight goes off when I'm done."

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," hesaid,"George is just fine. Physically he's great. But, I had to callbecause I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets upduring the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then(poof!) the light goes off?"

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigeratoragain!"

Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.--Lilo and Stitch.Beatles to battle!--Paul, Yellow Submarine movieListen. Do you want to know a secret?Have you hugged your Paul Today?Drop me a letter in my mailbox.

During his escape from Pakistan osama bin laden found a bottle containing a beautiful female genie. The genie appeared and said "Master may I grant you one wish?" Taken aback by the female genie osama say's "you ignorant, unworthy daughter of a dog, do you not know who I am? I do not need a common woman to grant me anything!" The Genie replied "Please let me grant you one wish, if not I have to return to that bottle forever" bin laden with contempt say's " Very well then, I want to wake up with three merican women in my bed." Granted said the genie and she disappeared.The next morning bin laden awoke with three American women as he had wished. Loreena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, both of his knees were broken and he did'nt have any health insurance.............