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posted on: Wednesday, 23 January 2013

If anyone ever asks me about writing a blog and what to share, I always says that honesty provokes the biggest response from readers. I have observed this in my own blog for some time; the more I share, the more empathy is given in return. For a while I considered this as some kind of on-line voyeurism, that somehow people enjoyed the glimpse into the lives of others they don't know. There is a degree of this. However over time I have come to the conclusion that it's much more than that. Readers or followers (I've never liked that word; it has a stalker-esque quality to it) really do feel that they know the person who is blogging. This is a bizarre concept, but it is true. Of course some bloggers do manage to meet up in real life and I do count amongst my very good friends, those whom I have met through this modern medium.

What is common is a self-consciousness of all bloggers that they should share too much. That their daily or weekly confessions will amount to a too-hefty dollop of reality that we all don't need to know about. But I find the opposite is true. I have read blogs where the searing truth of what is written has taken me aback. Where a raft of issues that face many of us are laid bare and where, in community spirit, comments are left of support and guidance. This network of support takes time to cultivate but when it's established, it has a priceless quality.

For me, here, I launched my business because of this blog. There is no way I would have done it otherwise. I may have made a few bottles of oils and sold them to good friends at the school drop off but I would never have had a platform on which to launch anything wider. Now, as orders arrive from all over the world I have to catch myself and remember that the blog did this. It really is...quite awesome.

I am lucky too that I have never had to deal with the affliction of trolls, who seems to frequent other mediums more than this one. I have read blogs where troll comments have left a sting long after they were written. Where that sting has coloured the blogger's whole approach to what they write until their skin hardens again and they think, sod it. I am me and I shall write what I like!

The truth with me at the moment: life is good. I am settled. Much less anxious. I spend way too much time cleaning up after my family and it baffles me that they don't help me more. I wonder where I went wrong in raising my children that they don't offer to help. Then I chide myself and remember that when you're eleven or seven, the cleanliness of the house really is not an issue for you.

I see now that I have spent years living with pain and very slowly I glimpse that there may be a way to manage it. I am not sure it will ever be gone completely. But it might, some days, be absent. This makes me REALLY happy.

I spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about clothes. And whether I am too old now to chose clothes that ten years ago I would have adored but ironically could not have afforded. I have just this week bought three pots of nail varnish and a lipstick (Diva by Mac = vixen?) to cheer myself up; and I am not even sad! I worry a-l-h-o-t that the happiness I have captured in my life will last. I never want the bubble to pop.

I wonder about my parents - divorced - who are so different I find it hard to imagine they were ever married. I constantly fantasise about de-cluttering my house. My children - sometimes just looking at them makes my heart ache, as in a physical weightiness in my chest - such is the depth of love for them. And my husband, he can still floor me with a blue-eyed smile.

ahhh this was lovely lou. i am so happy you are so happy! and like you, i love reading good honest blog posts! i feel us, as readers of lou boos and shoes have been on this amazing adventure with you over the years, starting your business, going through so much with your husband changing jobs, your kids starting new schools. i feel like i will always have you in my life as one of my first blogging buddies. and how awesome is that. also, it's funny you say how much you clean up after your family! my brother and i were THE worstttttt at cleaning up after ourselves when we were growing up and my mum used to go crazy!. im much better at it now (sort of) but as soon as i get back home, i go back to my old ways of being so lazy at the whole tidying thing haha. poor mums! you guys are the best!xxx

Lovely post Lou and I feel very lucky to have made some wonderful friends including you, via the blog world. Truth is always good - as much as blogs can be for pure escapism, sometimes its get to get a sense of reality and receive support from some of the lovely people out there. Feel you pain re the cleaning up after JC - am on a campaign to get her to help more before the puppy arrives - its a condition of getting one! xxx

It is a strange thing, I agree. I DO feel like I know you! Of course we only know about each other what we share online, but then I consider myself part of this community, this network of support, and in that, I am a friend. I'm happy that you're in my circle as well. You have such a lovely way of sharing your thoughts. I'm happy you're learning how to manage the pain, I'm sorry your kids don't help (but they are young...they will learn), I can't imagine my mom married to my dad either, I'm ALWAYS de-cluttering the house, thinking about my beautiful kids, and grateful for my handsome husband. Life is good.

Lovely post! I am happy that you start feeling better regarding your pain. I understand and relate to a lot of what you write in your posts. Your blog is a nice, little place, a daily break for me. I love when people are good with words and you really are!I hope you keep on feeling happy :) and would very much like to meet you one day. Please do let me know if you visit Copenhagen.Warm hugs, Manuela

A beautiful, honest post. My children have now all left home (19, 22 and 24) and I can certainly relate to the frustration when they were younger that all cleaning up was down to me! When I look back, I realise that half the time I wasn't very good at delegating and it just seemed easier to do everything myself, which wasn't really helping. Good news......they're brilliant now when they are visiting home! My immense love and worries for them hasn't changed either, although I do know they are all happy, working hard and embracing life. And yes.......my husband too can still make my heart skip a beat. I often worry that the 'bubble' will pop, but I know I mustn't think like that. Thankyou for sharing.

A lovely post Lou. I think it's your very authenticity that makes your blog and business so successful.Your blog is a wonderful place to visit. Sometimes we are all filled with doubts and insecurities, and it's nice to read of others trials and tribulations; very inspiring.

I have often thought about some of these things as well, and have come to the same conclusions as you - that honest posts seem to provoke the biggest response among readers, and I must admit that I like those posts from others as well, because it's nice to know a little more about the person, and also comforting to have someone to relate to (if that makes sense?). It is difficult, though, to know exactly how much to share, and my previous experiences with trolling on my old blog still make me hesitate about either hitting the "publish" button, or even beginning to write something in the first place. Occasionally I think "I am me and I shall write what I like!" as you so fabulously put it, but then the self-doubt usually overtakes that sentiment (surprise!).

Anyway, really I just wanted to say hello and great post as usual! I always read your posts even if I don't always leave a comment (which happens mostly due to the fact that I read everything in little snippets throughout the work day to give myself a break ;).

I really do adore your posts Lou ~ such honesty spilling out over the keys. I love how blogging has opened me up to new things ~ new ideas ~ tickles my creative senses ~ it has brought me back to photography and what I have loved about it for years ~ last but certainly not least the people that blogging has brought into my life. Would my life me complete if I had never of "met" them ~ yes ~ but look at how much richer I am because of them. Hugs. xo

So well said Lou - I think that you can always tell when a blogger is speaking from the heart, and it feels so much more real. And yes, the friendships between bloggers are indeed amazing, and so supportive. I love your honesty & naturalness - and you have a gift in the way you write and portray things.I'm pleased I'm not the only one who wonders why my kids can't notice that a little cleaning up might be in order. My 9 year old is far too busy doing her hair or applying another coat of nail polish. As you do when you are 9!

Wonderful post and one that resonates with me, as a blogger who is nervous of revealing too much - I attribute it to my Northern roots but I feel oddly vulnerable and try not to share things - but that's what draws me back to the blogs I love, and then I read something like this and wish I was braver. Glad things are well with you, too

I like to read your blog because of its honesty and I suppose you often say what I am thinking but am afraid to say. I do have some blogs on the fashion side that are pure escapism and the clothes a little young for me but I do enjoy them. On the lifestyle blog I tend to choose honesty, integrity and people with similar values.

I love that the husband can still floor you with the blue eyes. I go through phases of being a bit sceptical about marriage as an institution, yet as I get older I rather want to believe in it. (Although, oddly, I never wanted to do it.)So that little word picture has cast a ray of sunshine into my day.

Lovely post, as always. If I may say: you are writing very beautifully at the moment. xx