Protecting the Presidency

February 26, 2004, Washington, D.C. - The president today
announced his backing of a federal Constitutional amendment to "protect the office of the
presidency." The amendment would add to the conditions set forth in the
Constitution a requirement that candidates for United States President be
male.

In a morning press conference at the White House, President Bush said, "The
president of the United States is the most powerful man in the world, and
it's imperative that we protect this important position from the influence
of women."

Those who favor the amendment cite historical precedent. They state that a
woman has never held the office of president in the United States. They also
point to the history of the west, where men have long held all but a few
positions of power. "This is the way it's always been; this amendment would
simply making a long held social understanding into law," said Peter
Principle, spokesperson for People for the Traditional Way.

The move is thought by some to be an attempt to solidify Bush's approval
rating among religious conservatives, many of whom believe the Bible
prohibits women from holding positions of power. "First Timothy is very
clear. It says, 'I suffer not a woman to usurp authority over the man, but
to be in silence,'" said Richard Envy, president of The Society of
Missionary Positions. He continued, "Women are now presidents of colleges
and businesses, and it's only a matter of time before one gets elected to
the White House."

Critics, including Senator Hillary Clinton from New York, say the amendment
would make women second-class citizens, but the President responded angrily
to questions along these lines. "This doesn't take status away from women.
We all love our mothers, wives, and daughter. However, the man is the head
of the house, and a woman should not be president of the United States." He
continued, "After this amendment is ratified, women will still be able to
vote for the man of their choice. I believe my wife and daughters should do
whatever they want within the law, but they should not be allowed to lead
the free world. The science is clear. Men are better equipped for
leadership."

To be ratified, the amendment needs to pass a two-thirds vote in the House
and the Senate, and be approved by 38 states. 151 Congressmen have signed
the House bill as co-sponsors. All congresswomen oppose it.

Read some of Tyler's, more serious, but no less entertaining, essays at his Web
site.