Category Archives: #trans

I’m an ally. You probably knew that by now (at least, I hope this blog has made that clear). Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing enough, and wonder how I can be more effective in supporting those who live under the rainbow.

I found the infographic below on FaceBook, and I wanted to share with you all here in case it helps you too.

Never underestimate the power of being an ally. The LGBTQ+ community needs us now more than ever.

“Sex means a person’s status as male or female based on immutable biological traits identifiable by or before birth,” the department proposed in the memo, which was drafted and has been circulating since last spring. “The sex listed on a person’s birth certificate, as originally issued, shall constitute definitive proof of a person’s sex unless rebutted by reliable genetic evidence.” — New York Times, October 22, 2018

No. Just, no.

Mr. President, you don’t get to pretend like transgender people don’t exist. You don’t get to diminish them, dismiss them, or degrade them. They are PEOPLE, damnit, with hearts and hopes and dreams of being who they were born to be. And you, Mr. Narrow-minded, do not get to say they are anything other than real, equal, and deserving of every human right you enjoy.

I do not understand. I cannot comprehend. And I cannot condone the notion that gender is strictly biological.

I have been honored to meet too many people who were born in the wrong body and were forced for years to live as someone they were not, simply because their anatomy dictated it. Once they had the opportunity to live their truth, they were happy, fulfilled, and free. No one, not even the leader of the free world, should have the right to take that from them. The ripple effects of this way of thinking – from banning trans troops from serving in the military to healthcare impacts and the educational roadblocks it will put in place – are dangerous and precedent-setting. And just plain wrong.

Mr. Trump, have you met anyone who is trans? Have you heard their story? Have they told you how different their life has been since they were able to live their truth? My guess is no. Or if so, you weren’t listening. Because there is no way on God’s green earth that you’d consider this action if you had.

As a proud ally, I stand with every person under the rainbow. As a human, I stand with every other member of humanity. Because I have a heart.

It’s a sad day in the transgender community. November 20 is recognized as Transgender Day of Remembrance to honor those who were murdered for being trans. Today is set aside to make sure they’re not forgotten and that they live on, recognized and remembered for their bravery in living their authentic lives.

There’s a website dedicated to those who’ve died due to anti-trans violence. I encourage you to visit, to read, and to educate yourselves about those who’ve been killed over the past year. And while you’re reading, you might be interested in other resources, like the background GLAAD provides to help journalists understand why TDOR is needed.

I hate that this day is even necessary, and yet I love that we have a way to honor those who died for being themselves. To those who’ve died due to trans violence, I honor your courage and your legacy.

On this Transgender Day of Awareness, I ask that you do something that’s authentically you, no matter how you identify. There’s only one of each of us in this world – we should celebrate that which makes us unique everyday, but today, especially.

Happy Trans Awareness Week! This is a time to raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people and the issues these groups face.

It’s a big week in the community, and it ends on Friday with Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), in observance of those who’ve lost their lives to violence and hatred against them. To learn more about it, visit the TDOR website.

It’s also an important week for me personally as I launch my book tomorrow! Who Am I If You’re Not You? is centered around a same-sex couple facing a gender transition, and their journey to weather the change and all it entails. I’ll be holding a launch party and am excited to get this book officially out into the public!

Whether you’re a member of the trans community or an ally, please do something this week to acknowledge those who are transgender and gender non-conforming. Check out GLSEN’s website, or GLAAD also has a list of ways to support and mark the occasion.

If you’ve got a few minutes (like 8, to be precise), please watch this video. Go ahead and do it now … I’ll wait.

<Hums Jeopardy theme perfectly several times in different keys for variety.>

Welcome back! What’d ya think? Since you watched it, you already know that it introduces you to two teens who are transgender and shares their story.

I loved it for several reasons:

for the education it gives

for the bravery they show in living their authentic lives

for the support their loved ones showed

But mostly I love this video because it puts faces on trans people. It shows you that they’re just regular people who want nothing more than for their gender to match what they have already felt in their heart their entire lives.

Several times, the people in this video reiterate: I’m just a human being.

I’m just a human being.

They are. They’re not “scary monsters,” or freaks, or someone trying to use the wrong restroom for nefarious purposes. They’re not confused, or going through a phase, or seeking attention. They’re not anything other than human beings worthy of love, like all of us. Worthy of acceptance, like all of us. Worthy, period.

Please, please watch this video if you don’t understand the trans community, and even if you do. I promise, you’ll get something out of it. If nothing else, it’ll remind you you’re human.

I repeat: trans people do not have cooties. Call the CDC and confirm it if you like, but you cannot catch any transgender germs from hanging out with someone who identifies as trans.

As ridiculous as it feels to type that, apparently there are some people who haven’t gotten the message.

I read this article this morning and was shocked, saddened, and in a bit of disbelief over the statistic it put forth:

27% of Americans don’t want to be friends with someone who’s transgender.

One in four of us.

What the actual fuck?

I cannot understand why. I mean, I really, really can’t make sense of that.

We’re not talking about proposing marriage, sleeping together, or even living in the same household. SIMPLY BEING FRIENDS WITH A TRANS PERSON IS A BIG. FAT. “NO” for one quarter of our population. Wow.

And WHY? Or why not? Is it fear? Misunderstanding? Disgust? Religion? Judgement? Or something else?

Would love your thoughts on this. What are your experiences? Do you have friends who are trans? If you’re trans, have you had experience that you’d share regarding people who won’t befriend you? I really want to understand this statistic and could use a little help from my friends.

Five transgender military members just sued the president of the United States. (Yes, the lowercase “p” in president is on purpose, in case you were wondering.) Two different groups have filed on behalf of five openly serving trans women in our military.

The suit not only claims that banning them from serving violates their constitutional rights, but it also forces an answer … just how serious was Trump when he announced this via Twitter?

The Pentagon (wisely, in my humble opinion) has declined to make any changes to the current policy, at least as of yet. Smart not to make sweeping changes due to a tweet. (Who thought it was a good idea to dictate national policy via social media?! I don’t even put it on Twitter when I change my dinner plans.)

If the idea that trans soldiers are a “disruption” weren’t ridiculous enough, I also heard that — with things heating up in North Korea — the idea of any ban would be put on hold.

So let me get this straight. Someone thinks trans soldiers don’t belong as long as everything is hunky dory in the world. I can just imagine Cheeto Jesus saying, “Kick ’em out without notice. Let ’em figure out how where their salary will come from and how to feed their families. They don’t need healthcare. They’re dead weight.”

UNTIL suddenly it appears he need them to take on North Korea. Well, that’s different. Now it’s okay for them sacrifice their lives. Suddenly, they’re not such a distraction any more.

There are about 15,000 transgender members of the United States military. That would certainly leave a hole if you’re trying to shore up your defenses, now wouldn’t it?

I’m fascinated by this lawsuit and by those who filed it. It takes chutzpah to file a suit against a world (so-called) leader. I’ll watch with interest to see how this plays out. Would love your thoughts on the whole situation. Feel free to share your comments!

I keep reading things about the military ban on transgender soliders. Most of what I’ve read is support for the transgender community. Many of the responses favor allowing our trans soldiers to continue to serve. Of course there are exceptions, including those who name-call and explain at great length why, in their minds, these particular people aren’t fit to serve.

This topic, like most things about being LGBT in today’s society, is divisive … which makes one particular piece I read all the more poignant.

I invite you to read this article published by The Washington Post in February. Authored by a trans woman who serves in the Office of Naval Intelligence, it gives me hope. In particular, this section strikes me:

When I look beyond the sweeping statements of a few loud and cruel voices, I am struck more by the similarities of the conversations across our communities than by the differences. Most people are fundamentally good and want to be even better.

My earlier post on the trans ban came from a place of anger. I need to shift my thinking. If this author can find a way to be hopeful after the type of treatment she and others like her receive, we all have reason to be hopeful.

I stay away from political posts as a rule. I don’t want to engage. I’m not going to change anyone’s mind (and their comments aren’t going to change mine). So this blog has always focused on what I am learning about the LGBTQ+ community. My goal is to inspire others to open their hearts and minds and learn a bit about a community that is so misunderstood.

Today, I change the rules. I cannot sit by, silent, after the news that President Trump has banned transgender people from serving our military in any capacity. That they are a “distraction.” Hinting that they are only serving so the armed forces can pay for their medical procedures.

I’m disgusted, saddened, sickened and outraged. And those are only the words I feel comfortable sharing here.

We have heroes among us, ready to defend this country and its freedoms. Think about word for a second. “Freedoms.” Freedom for everyone except those that live a lifestyle that our leader deems “distracting.”

I’m sitting in an airport in San Fransciso as I write this, watching all manner of people walk by. Young, old, straight, gay, white, black. And yes, transgender. And you know what? None of them “distract” me. They are all people, just like me, trying to get to the next leg of their journey on this earth.

I’ll write more on this, rest assured. Feel free to unfollow this blog if that bothers you. And if it reassures you, or comforts you, to know that this is my very public stance, feel free to share my blog with others.

To the trans people who have chosen to put their lives on the line to save mine, thank you. You have my undying gratitude.

Way to go, Hallmark! Once again, the company is embracing inclusion. Hallmark has a new card specifically for those undergoing gender transition.

It features a butterfly on the front with the words, “You’re becoming who you’ve always been.” Inside, it says, “How wonderful is that?”

How wonderful is that? I think it’s terrific! Hats off to Hallmark for embracing the LGBTQ+ community. This is the second time I’ve blogged about them – the first time I wrote about how the company featured a real-life gay couple in their Valentine’s commercial.

I think this deserves a new catch-phrase. Instead of ,”There’s an app for that,” I propose we change it to, “There’s a Hallmark card for that.”

I admit I don’t buy as many cards as I used to, but I just might need to visit my local Hallmark store and show them some love. They’re definitely showing love to the LGBT world.