I Get By With a Little Help From My Emotional Support Raccoons

Our sessions don’t take place in an office. We just meet on my back deck. I don’t have any copay, but I am expected to fork over my mini marshmallows. And I’m not going to lie on a couch. Instead, I’ll be sitting on the ground so that I can greet my confidante at eye level.

My therapist is named Tank. He’s a North American raccoon who, I’m guessing, weighs in at 25 pounds withouthis winter fluff and blubber. He’s lumbering and lovable, and he’s one of about two dozen raccoons I’ve come to know and bond with over the past half-decade.

I know, I know. A lot of people might see a hungry raccoon in the backyard and grab a broom instead of a powdered donut. Raccoons can be dangerous. They’re agents of mischief, not to mention rabies. And they show no shame when pigging out on literal trash. But if it weren’t for these unique, misunderstood animals, I don’t know how I would’ve climbed out of a dangerous and exhausting bout of depression.

Since my neighborhood raccoons have embraced me as a friend — or at least a nonthreatening snack dispenser —I’ve become well-versed in their quirks. I’ve also come to rely on them for emotional support. I could call them my emotional support animals, or ESAs. But it’s a little more complicated than that.

Rounds

There’s a good chance you’ve seen an emotional support animal somewhere, or at least heard the term.The past five or so years have seen a surge in the number of ESAs showing up places like airports and college dorms, as well as more variety in the types of animals bearing the ESA label. The ESA menagerie, once dominated by dogs, has expanded to include peacocks,alligators,pigs and other less traditional kinds of pets.

Despite the uproar over which animals can be ESAs, the guidelines are actually pretty simple. Service animals are professional workers who are “individually trained to perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability,” per the American Disabilities Act. “Companion animal” is just another term for a regular old pet. Emotional support animals are a little of both.

A pet doesn’t need any training to become an ESA, but an owner needs a prescription for an ESA in the form of a note from a therapist (or psychiatrist, or other type of licensed mental health provider) attesting to their emotional need for a support animal. Unlike service animals, ESAs don’t have carte blanche to tag along wherever their humans go. But they are allowed to do things that regular pets can’t, such as sit in the main cabin of an airplane for free and live in no-pet apartment buildings (also for free). The legal basis for these allowances stems from two federal statutes, the Fair Housing Amendments Act and the Americans With Disabilities Act, which protect people with disabilities against certain forms of discrimination.

“An emotional support animal lends emotional support to a human being. A true service animal is almost a living, breathing, feeling piece of medical equipment.”

So while service animals certainly offer emotional support, that’s not the “service” they’re trained for. And, while the emotional comfort that ESAs may offer is undoubtedly beneficial to their owners, it’s not a legally recognized service.

“An emotional support animal lends emotional support to a human being,” says Steve Dale, a certified animal behavioral consultant. “A true service animal is almost a living, breathing, feeling piece of medical equipment.”

So far, these differences are pretty straightforward. But in practice, efforts to apply the right rules to the right animals can go awry. A restaurant manager might not know that service animals are always allowed in restaurants, but that ESAs don’t have any legally protected right to be there. (Try telling that to Ivana Trump.) And, even if they do know the rules, they might not be sure how to enforce them. Owners aren’t required by law to show proof of service animals; verbal confirmation is enough. But ESA owners do need to provide letters as proof upon request. Neither service animals nor ESAs need to wear anything, like vests or collars, to signify their status, although some owners opt for vests anyway. And while only dogs and miniature horses can work as service animals, any domesticated animal can be an ESA. If either a service animal or an ESA shows aggression or has an accident, their privileges can be restricted.

It’s easy to game the ESA system. Any pet owner can go online and get an ESA prescription letter — dozens of websites issue them. Some of these sites, such as ESA Doctors, are credible. They use telemedicine platforms to connect letter-seeking users with mental health professionals who evaluate their emotional needs. Others are “ESA mills,” where a survey and $100 (or less) will get you a letter within a week, although there’s no guarantee it will pass muster. And then plenty of sites fall somewhere in the middle; they typically pay licensed therapists to issue letters to people they’ve never communicated with.

These bargain basement options are the Zoological equivalent of fake IDs.

I spent almost an hour live-chatting with Garreth, a service rep from an ESA site that boasts Better Business Bureau accreditation and requires every user to speak with a licensed mental health provider over the phone in order to obtain a letter. While the site seemed credible at first glance, with its dot-org URL and award-style badges on full display, my conversation with Garreth made me think otherwise. In addition to issuing letters, the site offers ESA registration, which isn’t required for certification. Garreth described the site’s ESA “lifetime registration package” as optional “supporting documentation,” conceding that it wouldn’t hold up in court. So what’s the point of doing it?

“In my experience,” Garreth told me, “it has not only helped to stave off especially stubborn landlords, but, as emotional support animals are not normally allowed in public places unless management of a store, hotel, etc. says otherwise, it can also help in swaying the decision to allow your support animal public entry in your favor.”

There’s also a virtual flea market with unequivocally bogus ESA signifiers, including official-looking vests, collars and other dupes. These bargain basement options are the Zoological equivalent of fake IDs, according to Dale. While they’re cheaper than a letter — just $15 for a costumey collar — they won’t get an owner or a pet as far. A well-behaved Goldendoodle in a fake ESA vest might find their way into a bistro, but airlines and landlords of pet-free buildings are more likely to push back and ask for letters.

“I can say with confidence that there are people deliberately misrepresenting the status of their animals,” adds Rebecca Huss, general legal counsel at the Best Friends Animal Society. “But many times we find that people with legitimate service animal needs are just trying to have a physical manifestation of that. They get vests for their dogs just to avoid problems out in public, or to keep people from interacting with a working service animal.”

Cassie Boness, a doctoral candidate at the University of Missouri, works with a group that’s published several groundbreaking papers on the human-animal bond. The ease with which one can certify an assistance animal, she says, is detrimental to people who really need them.

“I’m on a college campus, so I see and hear a lot of ‘I don’t want to pay a pet fee in my apartment.’ Or ‘I want my animals in the dorm with me,’” she says. “People have figured out how to get these things waived, and they don’t totally understand the repercussions. In my opinion, if someone really needs an ESA, why not go through the proper channels to obtain a genuine psychiatric service animal?”

(Unlike an ESA, a psychiatric service animal is trained to perform a specific service for a specific person, whether that’s reminding them to take medication or sensing the presence of an oncoming psychiatric episode.)

Boness says that tighteninglicensure and certification is the next step toward helping those who truly need service animals and ESAs, as well as the animals themselves.

“Determining someone’s need for a service or emotional support animal must be objective,” she says. “Those evaluations are better served for forensic psychologists, rather than therapists who could potentially be biased toward their clients. The accuracy of a report like that makes sure that the people who really need service and emotional support animals are getting them.”

I moved from the east coast back to my home state of Ohio in 2014, after the major depressive disorder and anxiety I’d been diagnosed with 10 years earlier came back with a vengeance. My depressive period continued at home, where I withdrew from the outside world and retreated to my bed for days at a time.

Then, one night, I met Rufus.

He was snatching cat food from a dish my parents left out for the neighborhood strays. I watched him work, his dextrous little paws rifling through the kibble. For some reason, I found him mesmerizing. I also found myself awake past 8 p.m. for the first time in months.

I went outside the next night and took a seat across the yard from the dish of treats. Sure enough, Rufus crept out of the bushes and helped himself. As he lifted his snout to sniff the air, we made eye contact.

Observing Rufus became a ritual. Each night, I’d bring a handful of goodies and sit a little closer to the food dish, hoping he’d choose me over the cat food. After about three weeks, it happened: Bypassing his usual target, Rufus headed my way and proceeded to eat marshmallows and broken-up cookies out of my cupped hand. I stayed as still as I could to avoid startling him. But inside, after months of feeling little besides numbness, I was suddenly full of emotion.

Where do Rufus and my other raccoons belong on the animal classification matrix? Actually, let’s put quotes around “my,” because these raccoons fall into a category of animals we haven’t discussed — wild animals. And maybe that’s why my interactions with them are so touching and helpful to me. Every time one of my raccoons stretches out a little black paw to grab a mini marshmallow, I’m reminded that, unlike service animals, ESAs or companion animals, the raccoons don’t need to be there. They choose to be there.

My own therapist, Jeff, has been a part of my transformation from hopeless depressive to wildlife whisperer since the beginning. “I vividly remember you coming into my office the session after you’d met the first raccoon,” he says. “You bonded with this unique animal, at a time when you were feeling very isolated. These animals gave you communion. They gave you a place to belong.”

“Our ability to connect and empathize with animals helps [us do this with] humans. That’s especially helpful in therapy,” Jeff adds. “Animals can help you tap into certain emotions that may have otherwise been inaccessible.”

The emotional support I get from “my” raccoons doesn’t hinge on them living or traveling with me.

Dale agrees that, while the human-animal connection is well-documented in neuroscience research, no one truly understands why it’s so special.

“We know that when we interact with an animal, the neurotransmitters governing happiness and feeling good are boosted,” he says. “Why? I read a story about a beekeeper who became incredibly distraught after his hives were vandalized. Now, he didn’t know those bees as individuals. They didn’t have names. But the bond was there. The same is true with farmers and food production animals. You don’t need to share your bed to develop a bond.”

Sharing nighttime snacks on a back porch in Ohio has worked for me.

So, could I get an ESA certificate for my raccoon confidants? There actually is legal precedent — at least in the U.K. — for emotional support raccoons. I’m not sure how a bartender or a CVS clerk would react if I walked through their front door with a trash panda in tow.

But the emotional support I get from my raccoons doesn’t hinge on them living or traveling with me, or even being a major physical presence in my life. What more would I get from toting them around in service costumes (aside from likes and follows)?

“I think what we’re really talking about here is nurturing,” explains Nancy Gee, a psychiatry professor and director of The Center for Human-Animal Interaction at Virginia Commonwealth University. “Humans have a need to be nurtured, but also a need to nurture. When we take care of animals, we give them everything they need. And, in return, they give us attention and affection.”

Speaking of which, Tank just waddled up. He thinks he’s just here for dinner. Really, he’s here to help me get through another day.

Matt is an Ohio-based writer who specializes in lifestyle, gear and tech, and creative writing. He is a regular contributor to Fatherly, and has written for Maxim, Cosmopolitan, Men's Journal and Men's Health. He's also the author of a kids' book called "Bunny & Doggo: Friends Fight Depression."

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I think what you wrote is amazing!! Im a wildlife rehabber in california and i meet ppl at both ends of the stick, they either love them or hate them! They are such misundertood animals. You havent lived until u wake up a sleepy, young, raccoon and they yawn and purr and grab your face with both hands, look u in the eye and then give u a kiss or grab your hand to put it where he wants you to give him a scratch…of course not a wild one but the young ones during rehab, before they wild up, they are the best huggers!! As wild ones. as you have learned they are very intelligent creatures w definite senses of humor!

Read this next

For people with irritable bowel syndrome, it’s common to hear that symptoms such as cramping, alternating diarrhea and constipation, and bloating are “all in their head.” In the case of IBS, there’s actually some truth to this.

It’s not that their symptoms don’t exist. IBS is a very real disorder, and managing its physical toll often becomes an all-consuming effort. The litany of concerns that accompany so many activities — always scouting the closest bathroom, making sure you can reach it in time, farting in public — keeps many people with IBS from having a social life.

Yet according to some experts, IBS is not solely about what’s going on in the digestive system; rather, the brain exacerbates the condition. “IBS is a disorder of brain-gut dysregulation,” explains GI psychologist Sarah Kinsinger, who is also co-chair of the psychogastroenterology section of the Rome Foundation. Accordingly, addressing the “brain” side of IBS through cognitive behavioral therapy with a trained psychologist may help decrease both the anxiety that’s often associated with the disorder and its physical symptoms.

“CBT really should be the first-line treatment for people with IBS. It’s the treatment with by far the most empirical support, and when done well, it can be curative,” says Melissa Hunt, associate director of clinical training in the psychology department at the University of Pennsylvania.

In a series of trialspublished last year, researchers in the UK compared the standard treatment for IBS (typically diet and lifestyle modifications and/or medication) with eight sessions of CBT delivered over the phone or online. Before and after the trials, participants answered questionnaires designed to measure their anxiety, depression and ability to cope with their illness. Two years after the trials, 71 percent of the phone-CBT group and 63 percent of the online-CBT group reported clinically significant changes in their IBS symptoms. Meanwhile, less than half of the standard-treatment group reported such an improvement. Those who did CBT also exhibited lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher coping ability than other participants.

In an earlier meta-analysis (a study of studies), published in 2018 in the Journal of Gastrointestinal and Liver Diseases, a different team of researchers also found that CBT appeared to reduce both psychosocial distress and the severity of IBS symptoms, with a greater effect on the physical symptoms than on the mental ones.

Explainers

The brain-gut connection

How this happens is not completely clear at this point, but it’s believed to have something to do with how the gut and brain communicate.

“IBS is thought to be a disorder of centralized pain processing,” Hunt explains. “There is miscommunication between the pain centers in the brain and the nerves in the gut. In people with IBS, pain signaling gets inappropriately amplified.” Discomfort that wouldn’t even register in the majority of people feels like being stabbed in the gut to a person with IBS. “The best way to address that is to find ways to help reduce pain signaling, and that’s with a psychologist,” Hunt says.

CBT for IBS entails learning relaxation techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, which help reduce the “volume” of the pain signals by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, i.e., the body’s “rest and digest” response. “This can also lead to increased blood flow and oxygen to the digestive system, which helps the GI tract to function in a more rhythmic way,” says Kinsinger, who is also an associate professor at Chicago’s Loyola University Medical Center.

CBT also involves thought restructuring. IBS can cause a cycle of worry: Worrying about symptoms leads to being hyperfocused on the slightest hint of any symptom, which increases anxiety, which aggravates symptoms. People with IBS also often catastrophize, meaning they assume the worst will happen (“If I have an accident at work, I’ll get fired and never get another job”), develop social anxiety and become withdrawn. CBT addresses these issues by shifting attention away from IBS symptoms and using exposure therapy to help people gradually engage in more activities outside their homes.

Additionally, using CBT, people with IBS learn to identify and change dysfunctional ways of thinking. For example, consider someone with school-aged children who asks their spouse to attend all school functions because they’re afraid of farting in a room with other parents, which would inevitably cause humiliation and might even make people think they’re disgusting A therapist might ask them how often they notice bodily noises from other people to help them realize that we’re a lot more cognizant of our own bodily functions than other people are. “In other words, we identify the catastrophic beliefs and then search for evidence supporting them or not,” Hunt says.

CBT is a skills-based, goal-oriented approach to treating mental disorders that emerged in the mid-20th century. All CBT programs share the same underlying goal of helping patients identify and modify negative or unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. “It teaches patients techniques that they can then implement on their own.” says Kinsinger. “It can be done pretty efficiently, depending how motivated and receptive one is to learning these skills.” But over time, customized versions of CBT have been developed for specific conditions including insomnia, schizophrenia and IBS. Different versions of CBT use different techniques, such as role-playing, exposure therapy and relaxation exercises, and vary in length. On average, CBT for IBS lasts between 4 and 10 sessions in total.

Jeffrey Lackner, professor and chief of the division of behavioral medicine at the University at Buffalo, SUNY, says their program is structured like a course: “You learn a specific skill to manage your GI symptoms, process information differently or respond to stress in a less extreme way. Then you practice that skill in session before using it in the real world.” Often therapists also give patients homework to fine-tune the skills they learn. They come out of CBT with a toolbox of techniques to manage the day-to-day burden of IBS.

Some people with IBS do CBT on their own, using self-help books, online materials or apps without ever seeing a therapist. “Not many psychologists are trained to treat GI disorders specifically, so physicians don’t often have anyone to refer patients to,” Kinsinger says. The Rome Foundation trains psychologists and maintains a directory of gastrointestinal psychologists, but if someone can’t find a provider in their area, Hunt and Kinsinger recommend looking for a psychologist who’s trained in CBT and has experience treating chronic pain, panic disorders or anxiety.

Reducing sensations vs. reducing sensitivity

Not everyone is fully on board with CBT for IBS. One 2018 review study found “insufficient evidence to demonstrate the effectiveness of online CBT to manage mental and physical outcomes in gastrointestinal diseases” including IBS. A different 2018 review concluded that although psychological treatments for IBS appear to help in clinical trials, it’s unclear if they work in other settings and which treatments — such as CBT, mindfulness-based stress reduction and guided affective imagery — are most effective.

IBS is a complex problem, and some doctors prefer to integrate CBT with other treatments. But “by the time we see them,” Lackner says, “many of our patients have found that the medical treatments have not provided adequate symptom relief.”

Some IBS patients also find thetraditional approaches too hard to stick with. The most commonly prescribed treatment is a “low-FODMAP” diet, which requires giving up all dairy and legumes, plus many grains, fruits and vegetables. “Some trials show that even if the diet reduces or eliminates GI symptoms, it doesn’t improve quality of life because it’s crazy restrictive,” Lackner points out.

“With IBS, the nerve endings in the gut have become hypersensitized, and the brain magnifies those signals in the gut,” Hunt says. “The low-FODMAP diet tries to reduce the sensations, whereas CBT reduces the hypersensitivity. When you turn down the volume on the sensations, then you can eat whatever you want.”

Whether CBT helps with this brain-gut dysregulation, addresses distorted thinking and anxiety, or increases confidence in a person’s ability to manage gastrointestinal symptoms — or all of the above — it’s helped people with IBS resume parts of their life they’d put on hold.

Brittany Risher is a writer, editor and digital strategist specializing in health and lifestyle content. She's written for publications including Men's Health, Women's Health, Self and Yoga Journal.

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