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Obama puts the O! in The Onion [Karl]

NEW YORKÃ¢â‚¬â€Hailed by media critics as the fluffiest, most toothless, and softest-hitting coverage of the presidential candidate to date, a story in this week’s Time magazine is being called the definitive Barack Obama puff piece.

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According to political analysts, the Time piece features the most lack-of-depth reporting on Obama ever published, and for the first time reveals a number of inconsequential truths about the candidate, including how he keeps in shape on the campaign trail, and which historical figures the presidential hopeful would choose to have dinner with.

This is unfair to Time magazine.Ã‚Â It was ABC News and the Associated Press that reported on Obama’s exercise habits yesterday:

ABC News’ Sunlen Miller Reports: While Obama spent 91 minutes at a campaign event yesterday, the Illinois Senator spent a total of 188 minutes in the gym yesterday Ã¢â‚¬â€œ making three separate stops to Chicago gyms over the course of one day.

Come now. This isn’t vacuity, it’s responsible journalism covering the urgent topic of Our Dear Leader’s health, our Savior’s sacred wellness. Don’t you think they would report the severity of the wounds Jesus suffered on the cross? And he wasn’t half the Deity that Lord Obama is, now and forever, amen.

Just don’t ask about his medical records, his wife’s campaign speeches, his contradictory policy positions, the location of the missing seven states, the breathalyzers for asthma, the simultaneity of Iran being a tiny country posing no threat and Iran being a severe threat to peace, the twenty years he spent at the feet of the preacher who isn’t the man he knew, the financing for his sacred House in Hyde Park, why Auschwitz wasn’t really liberated by the Red Army, the magical 100 MPG cars he knows are already out there ready to go, the difference between meeting with tyrant without precondition versus meeting with preparations, the…

Oh fuck it all. This list takes too long. Just get on your knees and bask in His Glory.

The Onion is way more read by liberals than anybody else. This piece is not insignificant, cause what the Onion is a lot saying is that Baracky is banal, which is same as boring. This piece really a lot accurately describes the state of the campaign when Bush is elided I think. Without that foil, Baracky is fluffernutter, and nobody doesn’t not know it is what the Onion piece is riffing on. The media is just the medium I think.

- “Three” network news anchors glued to his luggage on the Great traveling Band tour of Europe. At what point will enough be enough? When Katie Couric is down to collecting his nose hair cuttings, or Brian Williams lists his favorite European TV ads for us.

This isn’t novel. You can compare Clinton and Bush’s Africa trips and see the same thing really. What is interesting is the flavor of the coverage I think. Happy hopey changey we are the world and also we are the children, Katie’s in Berlin with a special up close and personal look at one of Baracky’s German fans… we are talking to Walhilde Buruner. What do you love most about Baracky, Walhilde? So what I think is that Olympics fatigue starts a lot early this year. And people get a lot more sensitized to being sold an emotion when they’re not really feeling it. Barcky’s European Extravaganza bookended with Olympic gayness is way way too much of the same flavor I think. People will a lot be exhausted and immune to emotional appeals come debate time I think. And Baracky only knows the one song.

I’ll see your bristling sacrilege, gentlemen, and raise you a full-on coronation.

Unlike George W. Bush, who entered the presidential race in 2000 with scant exposure to national security issues, Mr. Obama has served since his election to the Senate in 2004 on the Foreign Relations Committee and has had a running tutorial from aides steeped in the issues. His campaign says that he is well prepared and that he often alters and expands on the talking points provided to him by his foreign policy advisers.

Most of the core members of his team served in government during President Bill ClintonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s administration and by and large were junior to the advisers who worked on Mrs. ClintonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s campaign for the Democratic nomination. But they remain in charge within the campaign even as it takes on more senior figures from the Clinton era, like two former secretaries of state, Madeleine K. Albright and Warren Christopher, and are positioned to put their own stamp on the partyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s foreign policy.

Most of them, like the candidate they are working for, distinguished themselves from Mrs. ClintonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s foreign policy camp by early opposition to the Iraq war. They also tend to be more liberal and to emphasize using the Ã¢â‚¬Å“soft powerÃ¢â‚¬Â of diplomacy and economic aid to try to advance the interests of the United States. Still, their positions fall well within centrist Democratic foreign policy thinking, and none of the deep policy fissures that have divided the Republicans into two camps, the neoconservatives and the so-called pragmatists, have opened.

“Most of the core members of his team served in government during President Bill ClintonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s administration and by and large were junior to the advisers who worked on Mrs. ClintonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s campaign for the Democratic nomination.”

Which means they were the ones feeding advice to the senior members of the Clinton Administration that got turned into policy.

I do give ABC its due. In fact, the cited piece is arguably negative insofar as it suggests O! spent more time working out than campaigning — which is why I didn’t call the story “fawning,” for example. It doesn’t make this piece any less vacuous, however.

Unlike George W. Bush, who entered the presidential race in 2000 with scant exposure to national security issues, Mr. Obama has served since his election to the Senate in 2004 on the Foreign Relations Committee and has had a running tutorial from aides steeped in the issues. His campaign says that he is well prepared and that he often alters and expands on the talking points provided to him by his foreign policy advisers.

Some actually gets paid to write this shit? Prostitution looks honorable by comparison.

arguably negative insofar as it suggests O! spent more time working out than campaigning

The last person I want to nit-pick is you, Karl. But I got the impression ABC wrote that piece insinuating that he was lying about working out. You know, the kind of sneaking about and secretly meeting with people that Cheney does.

#32: MayBee,
I guess I could see that interpretation. I didn’t see it at the time because the AP expressly raised the question of whether O! was meeting Veep candidates or such — and had other members of the press buying that he was going that often to the East Bank Club.

d has had a running tutorial from aides steeped in the issues. His campaign says that he is well prepared and that he often alters and expands on the talking points provided to him by his foreign policy advisers.

the campaign even as it takes on more senior figures from the Clinton era, like two former secretaries of state, Madeleine K. Albright and Warren Christopher, and are positioned to put their own stamp on the partyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s foreign policy.

McCain should mention that one of those jobs moved overseas that Obama wants to bring home is apparently terrorism.

I suspect that there are at least some comics who are longing to mock the Messiah. After all, He and His wife are pompous mean-spirited morons whose disciples are fanatical blowhards. In other words – perfect comedy material. Remember Charlie Chaplin’s portrayal of Hitler in The Great Dictator?

But there are two insurmountable problems. The first is that unlike Chaplin (who opposed Hitler) many comics share the Messiah’s nightmare vision. The other is that for any comic tempted to leave the Liberal Plantation (even just to turn a quick buck) the Diversity and Tolerance Nazis will disabuse them of that notion in a hurry.

People who’ve been wondering about how to make fun of Obama–those who’ve not noticed that he’s Urkel’s illegetimate, gay half-brother with daddy issues and a God complex–can recognize that the funniest thing about him is the way some people follow him like lost puppies. Even John Stewart has taken Obama’s cock out of his mouth for brief interludes to note this.

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