How to Turn Casual Dating into a Real Relationship?

20 years ago, no one could have casual dating. Relationships between the sexes were automatically considered serious if there was sympathy, mutual attraction, or sex between people. After a man and a woman said “I like you” to each other, they moved to a new level and started a serious relationship. Now everything is different. A little flirtation, fleeting sympathy, passionate sex and even cohabitation under one roof are not the reasons to start relationships. Why does this happen?

Casual dating vs. relationships: what is the real difference?

Nowadays, people believe that casual dating is the best variant of human relations. Is it really so and what does casual dating mean? Such relations can also be called free love without obligations and claims. Most often, people, who don’t want to take responsibility for a family and who love freedom, choose such an adventure. Modern emancipated women also don’t want to associate themselves with family and children. They want to make a career and have men for spending time interestingly. Divorced people also get on this list. They are already bored with family obligations, so they want to stay free.

So, what is casual dating? In brief, casual dating is a combination of an intimate relationship and a life together, but everyone has the right to flirt or have sex with another person without further quarrels and scandals. This kind of relationship can be experienced by those who are confident in their ability to forgive affairs if they want to continue to keep in touch increasing the degree of openness to a partner and not becoming mad in unpleasant situations.

Why do people choose it?

They feel bored;

They are lonely;

They want to reject the traditional concept of the family as a unit of society with its responsibilities;

They just maintain health and have regular sex life;

Many people say that such relationships don’t have a future, although they can last for months and years.

What are the advantages of casual dating?

At first glance, it seems that there is nothing worse than this type of relationship. But there are also some advantages:

Personal freedom;

Convenient and coordinated schedule of meetings;

Full-time partners;

Absence of boring life

Of course, such relationships have numerous shortcomings. Over time, there comes disappointment and understanding that all this is emptiness and falsity. Other negative aspects are:

Lack of mutual understanding, warmth, trust, and openness;

Minimum of normal human emotions;

Addiction;

Possibility of a breakup at any time

Yes, casual dating can be called a paradise for freedom-loving people. But you need to know that irresponsible and insecure people are often hidden behind this mask.

What are the casual dating rules?

So, there are a few rules that can help you if you decide to choose casual dating:

1. Be ready for jealousy

Yes, you can think that casual dating is just “created” for you, but it can happen that you become addicted to a person over time. Be ready for this.

2. Discuss all the details in advance

It is very important to discuss everything before you go for casually dating someone. Discuss each point in order to clearly understand what you can do and what can’t be done at all.

3. Think about how to tell it to your relatives

Of course, you have the right not to tell anyone. But if a relationship lasts long, then you should be ready for obtrusive questions.

4. Don’t turn your current relationship into casual dating

If you and your partner have been together for a long time and think that a free relationship will diversify it and bring something new into your lives – you both are mistaken. Rather, it can significantly worsen the remnants of all the good that you have.

5. Enjoy

How to date casually? If you decide to try casual dating, make it all so that you feel absolutely comfortable. If you feel that you don’t get the proper pleasure, then it is better to stop such relationship.

How to turn casual dating into a relationship: 7-step guide

Here are 7 steps of how to go from casual dating to a healthy relationship:

Step 1. Make sure that you really want it

Do you think that you want a serious relationship with this woman? Do you really want to turn casual dating to serious relationships? If yes, then it is worthwhile to make sure of this before taking any action. Take a step back and ask yourself such questions:

Do I have fun with this woman?

Is my mood improved when I'm with her?

Do I feel bad when we are not together?

Does she make my life better?

If a woman is too jealous or checks every action you do, it is better to stay away from her. Don’t convince yourself that she is a good woman. Just “a good woman” is not a reason to establish a serious relationship with her. Healthy relationships are those relationships in which you feel good when you are with her.

Step 2. Avoid serious conversation

Maybe it seems illogical, but the first advice of experts is never to start a conversation “who-are-we-for-each-other?” It’s like to come to a party, turn off the music, turn on the light and ask: “We’re having a good time here, aren’t we?” Good relationships are built on impulses. And stopping the fun for “checking” is the right way to kill the romance. Let the events develop naturally. Look at her actions:

Does she want to see you all the time when she is free?

Is she sincerely interested in what you say?

Do meetings with you bring her pleasure?

All this is the likely signs that she is really interested in you. So, enjoy the fact that she is nearby and don’t worry about how to turn your current relationships into something serious.

Step 3. Clarify the situation for yourself

If you have been dating for six months and she has not given you a single hint of how she sees your relationship, you can check her reaction to your offer. For example, you can ask her whether she can dine with your family next Friday. At the same time, let her know that nothing terrible will happen if suddenly it turns out that she is not yet ready for such step. First of all, be positive and open for communication. If you are sure that you have the exact picture of a relationship with her but don’t know how to turn casual dating into a relationship, you can directly tell her about it. Explain what kind of relationship you want and why. If she is not ready to answer you something right now, postpone the continuation of the conversation for several weeks. However, if she persistently refuses to react again and again, then it is better to re-evaluate your relationships. You have to decide what you want more: a woman who is ready for everything for you or this particular woman even if she is never ready for love relationships with you. But if you prefer the second variant, then remember about “Step 2” and just enjoy a relationship that you have now. Otherwise, you can lose even this communication with her.

Step 4. Be creative

Going from casual dating to relationships, come up with interesting dates. It should be something more than ordinary dinner in a restaurant and clubs. A good date is a date that forces you to stop chatting on Facebook, put phones on a table and devote time to each other. Sometimes it’s worth trying something non-trivial; something that takes you out of the usual comfort zone. Go to the festival of beer or folk crafts, visit a concert of a local rock band or go rollerblading to the park. The new adventure enriches with joint impressions, which can be remembered in the future. This strengthens the connection between you and increases the likelihood that she strives to continue these meetings. In addition, you can learn a lot from the idea for the next appointment that comes to her mind. For example, if she invites you to visit some exhibition, hoping that you are a lover of contemporary art, then she obviously wants to please you and this is a good sign.

Step 5. Add some intrigue

Even if you are waiting for her call, you don’t need to be available whenever she wants to see you. Let her realize your value! If you always wait for her, she will get used to it. Add some intrigue to your schedule, make her want you more. Wait a few minutes before answering her messages or if she asks whether you are free on Tuesday, answer that you have other plans but you will be happy to see her on Wednesday. This will make her understand that your time is valuable and she will have to try to steal you. However, don’t flirt.

Step 6. Don’t forget about independence

It's so tempting to sacrifice a part of yourself when you finally meet the woman of your dreams. However, there is no need for sacrifices. Trying to be someone you are not is so transparent and boring. It is better to have your own interests and show her how interesting your life is, with or without her. By the way, this is important in both cases – in casual dating and in a relationship. Continue your long jogging on weekends even if she wants to be lazy. And don’t expect that she will not go shopping for the sake of meeting you. The more she will be convinced that your life is fantastically interesting, the more likely she will want to become a part of it.

Step 7. Show your feelings

There is a fine line between playing a “thing that is hard to get” and demonstrating complete indifference. For example, when you have dinner somewhere together, don’t check your phone all the time. This is a date. Listen to her, understand her, and let her see your interest in what she wants to say. Ask about what is happening in her life now. Show how much it means to you. A woman appreciates and wants to be with someone who makes her feel terrific. And if you are the one who can make her world better, make her feel the most intelligent, beautiful and amazing, she will want to be near such man. And realizing that you are the best, she will make the choice in your favor. This is how you can go from casual dating to healthy relationships.

Sum up

If you want to turn casual dating into a real relationship, then you should remember that it is the mutual process. It is possible only if both have this desire, even if one of the partners doesn’t say it. If you are rejected, then it is better to stop. You risk of losing even what you have now.