Church Teens Battle a Demon from a Porno Mag in Christian Found Footage Movie

I think my two favorite things in the world are North Korean propaganda and Church-produced movie synopses. On the latter note, The Lock In, a new found-footage style horror film from Holy Moly pictures, follows a group of church teens as they inadvertently release an evil demon when they bring a filthy porno mag into the house of God during a church “lock in.” I’ve never been to a church lock in, but I for one am happy that for once someone isn’t being facetious when they describe the holiness of moly.

Thank you, Jesus, for this press release, may I drink of your blood and consume your wafer flesh forever and ever amen.

Holy Moly Pictures has announced the release date for The Lock In, a Christian found footage horror film about pornography to be released January 9th, 2014.

Imagine your life being torn apart and the very wiring of your brain being changed by a seemingly innocent prank. This is what happens when three teenage boys are terrorized by demon activity after a “dirty magazine” is snuck into an overnight church event called a lock in. During the lock in, members of the youth group are “locked in” the church to have fun, play games, and get to know one another. In spite of the youth pastor’s attempt to intervene, the boys must come to terms with the pornographic images themselves in order to be truly freed from the demon.

Movies have always been a good medium to highlight social issues. Pornography is a growing epidemic in the church community for men, women, and children with most of the underage victims being exposed in a place thought to be safe. The producers of the film hope that not only will it be entertaining, it will also be used as a tool for conversations about the dangers of pornography and the importance of being aware.

Want to see the trailer? Of course you do.

The demon is a metaphor for the true damage pornography can have in the lives of youth. There are never graphic or pornographic images shown in the movie. The producers of the film felt that it was important to tell a Christian story about real issues but to keep the images family friendly so anyone could be entertained without fear of exposure to questionable pictures. [MMDNewswire]

Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there, padre, you’re telling me the demon is a “metaphor?” Look, bro, I didn’t start watching this church movie to live in a land nuance and subjectivity, NOW MAKE WITH THE FLAMING SWORDS AND BRIMSTONE!

They’re right about porn releasing the demons though. But wait, don’t people already know this? I thought that was the whole point of porno. OUT, FOUL SPIRITS! (*yelling at penis*) THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! (*watches Faye Reagan video*) (*head spins 360 degrees, pukes on floor, ejaculates, cleans up with holy water*) Oh God, that was good, I need a cigarette.

This is true. I went to several lock ins and they were pretty scandalous. I mean, it’s late, dark, places to easily disappear to, and around 3 a.m. you get bored and fidgity. Next thing you know you’re making out with the youth pastor’s son in the baptismal tub.

The one I went to, the cool thing was to stay up for 24 straight hours. I can’t imagine what it was like for the adults to deal with a bunch of 12 year olds who’d each had about 2.5 liters of cola and were still drinking it at 7:00 in the morning.

Also i used to work for an entertainment company that brought like slides and rock walls to events and we had to work a lock-in and it was the creepiest thing ever. The fake smiles and odd false morals really made it quite terrible

Seems to be a lot of confusion about “lock-ins’. In the MidWest – like Michigan- it’s not unheard of. We have high schools that do ‘lock-ins’ for multiple reasons. You want to know those reasons then you’ll have to contact those schools because I’m not your mother. The doors get locked at a certain time of night and everyone is obligated to stay in the building until at least 7am. Good times. uh huh