It's almost 2h30am and I am waiting up for my one daughter. I know she thinks I am asleep..... I am pleased she is out enjoying herself. She needs this time to rebuild her energy and to shut out all that is happening in her life, and to try and imagine a happier, less stressful life. You see, Iife has thrown us a really difficult curve ball. We are trying to play the game but it's getting harder every day. We know that God doesn't put anything in our paths that we cannot handle, but I am starting to believe that he has over estimated us. I don't know how I am going to get through this but worse I don't know how my daughters are going to get through this.

We used to be sort of financially secure, well we got by, my two daughters and I. It wasn't always easy, but we managed. Then I fell ill, got fired, started a business, fell ill again (now terminal) all within 18 months. The business isn't working so well (we're both shocking salesman) and we've lost just about everything. My eldest wont leave me alone, she feels she has to be with me through all my doctors visits and treatments. She sees me at my lowest, we fight, laugh and cry together. It's taking it's toll on her, and the treatments and the failing business, and not having my youngest daughter with me is taking it's toll on me. I am trying to find the strength to carry on fighting.... I am determined to get us all through this but I don't know how