Courtney Love has gone on the attack after a new e-book, Courtney Comes Clean, charged that her hoarding habits were responsible for the death of her daughter Frances Bean Cobain's cat. And, as usual, she's doing her lashing out via Twitter in her famous nonsensical style. The cat killing allegations arose during the time that Frances was obtaining a restraining order against her, and the e-book relied on some of the documents presented in support of the order. They included details about the hoarding and also a story about how her presecription pills—which she was allegedly addicted to at the time—were scattered around and ended up killing Courtney's dog. Good god. No more pets for Courtney.

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Ms. Love has started tweeting out against anyone she thinks is responsible for leaking the documents and also in an attempt to defend herself. She totally denies the cat dying in a pile of her hoarded fabric and garbage: "I'm a kitty killer! Who puts such an unjudged piece of trash in a madman's hands?" Oops, @Cbabymichelle, I think you meant to use a "?" after "I'm a kitty killer," but we get where you're going, sort of. She also insists the cat, which she says belonged to her and not Frances, was killed by a mountain lion who wandered down from the Hollywood Hills: "It was a mountain lion that killed Peabody!!" A likely story. Either way, poor, poor Peabody. [The Fix]

Whitney Houston's body is back home in New Jersey, after being driven from the airport in a smooth gold limo. And now the details about her funeral are falling into place. The previously reported giant public memorial will not be held after all, but there will be a private funeral at the New Hope Baptist church in Newark. It can hold up to 1,500 people, and you can bet spots on that guest list are going to be coveted mightily. One person who may not be on that list? Whitney's ex-husband Bobby Brown. One source says her family does not want him there and will turn him away if he shows up. But another source says the family understands he needs to be there to support his daughter with Whitney, Bobbi Kristina. [OMG!, Extra TV]

It's nothing but the best for the body of late singer Whitney Houston. After being flown from…
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In other Whitney news, her death has done wonders for sales of her music. "I Will Always Love You" has once again become a Top 10 best seller, followed closely by "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." [The Sun]

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And, on a macabre note, the room at the Beverly Hilton hotel where Whitney died, room 434, is already being stayed in by a new guest. It can't be long before they start charging extra for the privilege of staying where something famously awful happened. [TMZ]

Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of this month's GQ with Paul Rudd, and they both look pretty damn good. But she would very much like us to know that she is not pregnant:

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It's just a weird time, I think. The tabloids, instead of being about alien babies and stuff, it's my triplets, quadruplets...[But] I'm not having triplets. Not having twins. Nor am I having one baby...You heard it here. I'm not knocked up now.

Now? So maybe later? She says, "I still kind of go with, if it happens, it happens. I'm calm and peaceful with whatever the plan is. It's not something where I'm going, 'I gotta have a kid!'" Okey dokey. Oh, randomly, she also says she has some of her therapist's ashes in a bag—apparently they were handed out at the funeral like party favors. Jen, you are so full of wonderful surprises. [E!, OMG!]

Rumer Willis is having a rough go of it lately. First her mom, Demi Moore, has a breakdown, and now Rumer's house has been robbed. Apparently the thieves lifted roughly $10,000 in stuff from her Hollywood Hills home. It was under construction at the time, so she wasn't living there, luckily. They got in by slicing the lock with a blow torch (eek!), and then left with a bunch of the contractor's tools. It's not clear whether any of her personal items were stolen. So far nobody has been arrested. [TMZ]

Big Valentine's Day ups to Justin Bieber. Yesterday he made the dreams of a six-year-old who's fighting cancer come true. Avalanna Routh loves the Biebs and an online campaign convinced him he should fly her and her family down from Massachusetts to New York to visit him. They spent two hours together, playing Candy Land and hanging out—she even got a few hugs and kisses. From the look on her face, it was the highlight of her life thus far. And Bieber tweeted afterward, "That was one of the best things i have ever done. She was AWESOME!" Just when you think you can start hating him, he proves that you'll never be able to. [E!]

Speaking of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez is celebrating Valentine's Day by wearing a ring with a "J" on it. It's not on her ring finger, so they're probably not engaged. But maybe it means that The Biebster has given her some kind of promise ring, whatever that even means these days. [HuffPo]

Prince William is away working, so Kate Middleton has to spend her Valentine's Day alone. Sniffle, sniffle. But she's keeping nice and busy, visiting charities in Liverpool [E!]

Now that Kate Upton'sSports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has been revealed, she's making the rounds and soaking up the attention. The 19-year-old (raise your hand if you suddenly feel ancient!) doesn't seem to mind that the entire world has gotten a look at her photoshopped pubic region. She says she's totally happy with the cover, "I love the photo. I couldn't be more ecstatic." Of course, even if she did hate it, she's probably contractually bound to rave about it. [EW]

Even though she has just recently given birth to Blue Ivy™, Beyonce is apparently working on not one but two new albums. I guess there is no maternity leave when you're a super famous singer. [MTV]

Blake Lively has had to take out a restraining order against an obsessed fan who has been lurking around the Gossip Girl set saying he has a "metaphysical" connection with her. Creepy. [TMZ]

Alana, or "Honey Boo Boo Child" from Toddlers and Tiaras as most of us know her, did an interview with an Atlanta TV station in which she is less hilarious and more horribly obnoxious than usual. Here's one of her choice lines, regarding whether it makes her happy to be recognized from the show: "No, not happy because some people look…what's the word…some people look ugly." But it's not always bad, she says, "Because we went to Walmart one time and there was this really tall boy and this short boy and the tall boy looked hot." Ugh. [Radar]

Here is a gigantic diamond ring which apparently proves that The Bachelor's Ben Flajnik is engaged to Courtney Robertson. Make of it what you will. [Wetpaint]

Yesterday Miley Cyrus cut her hair, and now Demi Lovato has gone blonde. Pretty soon we're not going to be able to recognize anybody. [E!]

Speaking of which, Ben Affleck has shaved off his beard—but he still has that ridiculous longish hair. [People]

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar were on the Today Show this morning, and they talked about their recent miscarriage of the girl they named Jubilee. Michelle said, "We have a sweet memory of out little Jubilee for 18 weeks ... Now, we look forward to [seeing] her in heaven." They also spoke out about a woman's attempt to extort them by claiming to have scandalous photos of their niece Amy. Jim Bob said, "The pictures were of no substance of all. I think she had some mental issues ... so we pray that she can get her life straightened out." And that's all the news from Duggarville. [Radar]

CBS has cast actor Jonny Lee Miller to play Sherlock Holmes in their new show Elementary. Miller seems lovely and talented, but you can be damn sure he's no Benedict Cumberbatch. Oh, heck. As long as we've said it once, we might as well say it a few more times: Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch. [Deadline]