Not So Much The Welcome Back I Was Hoping For

September 12, 2011

Well…I am finally back after a long break from the blog. This summer has gone by incredibly fast and there is alot of things to talk about. Most important (to me anyways) is breaking some bad news. The last time I talked to everyone here at House to your Home, I was enjoying my pregnancy and had just past the 6 month mark and was feeling pretty great after feeling pretty miserable for the first 3 months.

As most of you know a few years ago I had twin girls (Harper & Nora) at 5 1/2 months who unfortunately did not make it. (We never got any real concrete reason as to why we loss them.) To say we were devastated is putting it mildly. Even though it was incredibly hard losing our girls we decided we still wanted to try and have another baby and after alot of complications and let downs we finally found out I was pregnant again this past March.

As some of you know, I admitted defeat about a month into my pregnancy and stopped blogging because I was so tired and incredibly sick. I missed blogging and working on projects but baby bean was my #1 project and I wanted to be extra careful during the pregnancy so I didn’t do much but take Sloan to school and sleep. After I past my first trimester things started settling down and I was starting to feel so much better and once I past the 5 1/2 month mark I started to breathe a little easier because I’d passed the timeline of our twins passing.

Things did not go as planned though and at 6 months I suddenly went into premature labor while I was vacationing at Lake Michigan with family. Our baby girl, Spencer Lynn was born on August 1st and weighed close to 2 pounds. She stayed with us for a few hours but was just too tiny to hold on.

This last month has been the toughest time of my life, in a million years I never thought this would happen twice and I never would of thought my story would be that I lost 3 beautiful baby girls. We found out afterwards that I have an incomplete cervix which basically means that my uterus cannot hold a baby to full-term. On the bright side (if you can really say that) a cerclage (which is a stitch that basically holds things in place) can be performed at 12-14 weeks if we ever decided to try again. The not so bright side is this condition is primarily not diagnosed until 2-3 losses have occurred.

Our friends and family have been wonderful and we are blessed to have them in our life. More then anything I appreciate Drew and Sloan even more and realize how blessed we are in other ways. My only advice to pass on to all of you is when you know someone that’s gone through something really bad in their life is to just say something to that person even if it’s that you’re thinking of them. I know it’s uncomfortable and you don’t want to upset the person but not saying anything is worse trust me.

My daughter Sloan gives me the strength to get up in the morning and make my day mean something. It’s going to take a long time to heal from this experience but I’m getting through it one day at a time. As some of you know I’m typically a pretty private person but I felt I had to tell you all what happened because I’d talked about being pregnant and didn’t want to leave you hanging but mostly I’m talking about it so if anyone else who reads this has been through what I’ve been through, they know they aren’t the only one. Strength in numbers right!?

So now that the sucky serious stuff is out of the way and I can’t think of a good smooth segway I’ll just jump back in and tell you I’m glad to be back to House to Your Home and I’m excited to start sharing the projects I’ve been working on. I was able to do a few projects while I was pregnant and I have done alot of projects since the pregnancy (DIY is a great stress and sadness reducer.)

I’ll be blogging on a regular basis now so I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you!

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I’m just thinking how lucky I am to know you and call you a friend. I’m so so sorry that you’re heartbroken yet again. I pray and believe that God will grow your family in His perfect timing as he continues to comfort you. Love you, girl! 🙂

Oh Lori, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve thought of you and your loss. As a person who had a miscarriage, and went through a lot of fertility treatments, I know just a bit of your sadness. Please know that I would love to help you however I can!
Love,
Julie Perun
p.s.
Can I subscribe to your blog, so it just gets e-mailed directly to me, as you post? I’m a little tech ignorant. (Just ask Courtney! 🙂

Oh Laurie. I’m so sorry. I haven’t been by in awhile and here I am catching up and my heart is just broken for you. I’ve no brilliant words of comfort but just know I’m out here and I care and I’m sorry and I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world. Hugs to you. Jen

Thank you for sharing…I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through that. I can totally relate to being a private person and coping and hurting privately. It does make it easier to live with our hurts when we know we’re not the only one! I’m so glad you stopped by the blog today. Looking forward to checking out the rest of your blog.

Heather-Thanks for stopping by, I’m a new follower of yours and a big fan too, you’re so talented! I’m really sorry that you’re having a bad year and because what I’ve been through I try not to give advice but what’s gotten me through it is reminding myself everyday of what I have to be thankful for even when I want to have a pity party! I also learned by taking the chance and talking I’ve found out who my real friends were and was surprised and had a new faith in people because of others extreme kindness!