Horoscope

Hi!

If you think this page looks familiar, you have made some bad
decisions in your life so far. You probably will be needing some wisdom
from the stars.

Because lots of peers of mine seem to have taken a sudden* interest
in horoscopes, I hereby present you my own. As most of you probably
know, I have predicted a lot of things recently. I have, for instance,
predicted World War II. Yes, I have! Also, I told some people there
would be a sunrise this morning. And guess what they found out? There
was one. They couldn't see it, because they were too god-damn lazy, but
they looked it up on Wikipedia, on some page called "days of the year
that definitely had a sunrise" or something, and there it was! Freaking
today.

My most recent prediction is of course that I told my manager this
morning that you, yeah, you specifically, would be clicking the link
that brought you to this page. How could I know such a thing if I
weren't clairvoyant, I beg you to explain?!

Anyway. This is your personal horoscope. Well, not really that
personal, because the personal kind of horoscope would cost me a lot of
time, and in some cases perhaps some money. Also, I would really rather
not predict the exact date and time of your death, because Fate has a
way with people who spoil her surprises.