Letters I'll Never Send

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I’ve hated you all my life. At the start if high school you were the only kid I knew so I clung onto you because you were my comfort zone. I felt so self conscious when you weren’t there but together we were an unbeatable team, inseparable for almost all four years. Our friendship intimidated others, we were cruel but it was all fun and games to you, we made others feel inferior because you wanted to climb to the top and I followed.

You see the punishment by you was worse for not following than the punishment by authority for following you. Unfortunately I had a conscience that wouldn’t let me let go of all of the grief we caused others, I didn’t want to be feared by others like you did all I wanted was to fit in and have friends.

You always put me down, I wasn’t pretty enough to be seen with you, I was getting chunky so I had to hit the gym before we could hang out. I wasn’t a big partier so you would have your other friends force me to have fun and I wasn’t a slut but you pushed me so hard to be promiscuous that I eventually became just as boy crazy as you. You ruined my self confidence and when you finally broke things off with me I was devastated.

I was launched into a deep depression and I wouldn’t leave my room for days. Almost everything reminded me of you because that’s how close we were. We were best friends but I always hated you, I was just never brave enough to stand up for you. Instead I let you ruin my life just like how we ruined others’. In the end I guess I deserved it.