LOS ANGELES — Kobe Bryant this week called the Lakers slow, explaining that they’re “as old as (expletive).” The observations made national headlines, as if either one was actual news.

Now that Bryant has joined the world of Twitter, who knows what other sports stories he might soon be breaking. Perhaps next he’ll reveal that Lane Kiffin can be as likeable as bronchitis.

By now, everyone knows the Lakers have not been as advertised. Or even close.

But they had a chance Friday to right the universe and bring back the old normal to Staples Center, a chance to prove that their traditional domination of the Clippers remains intact.

And, sure enough, midway through the first quarter, there went Bryant — old bones, worn cartilage and everything — soaring over Chris Paul for a circa 1999 slam. He even inadvertently poked Paul in the face, adding emphasis.

Of course, by that point, Paul already had lobbed to DeAndre Jordan and Blake Griffin for dunks, and the Clippers were en route to opening an early 18-point lead, and Paul was only setting up Bryant for one of the most inglorious moments of Kobe’s career.

Yet, there’s something to be said for experience, which the Lakers have and the Clippers are still gaining.

So, in the final quarter, after leading the game from the start and controlling it throughout, the Clippers stopped playing fast and young, began playing more like the Lakers, and they had to hold off the old guys to win, 107-102.

It made for a thrilling finish but didn’t change the events that led to the Clippers being in charge much of the night.

So, about that less-than-glorious moment for Kobe …

In the closing seconds of the first half, with the Clippers in possession, Paul and Bryant were matched one-on-one. Paul dribbled at Bryant, forcing him to his heels, and then used the separation to go up for a buzzer-nipping jumper.

Bryant truly did look slow and old, but Paul can do that to just about anybody. At the end of the third quarter, Paul spun around Darius Morris — he turned 22 on Thursday — until he nearly was dizzy.

Still, the fact Paul did it to Bryant — the fact he went Kobe on Kobe — was the perfect highlight on a night when the Clippers went Clippers.

They scored 29 points in the opening quarter and 32 in the second and were at 87 points entering the fourth. After failing to shoot even 40 percent in two consecutive losses, the Clippers were above 50 percent throughout Friday.

That’s where the Lakers are defensively these days. They are a cure for any team struggling to make shots.

In advance of this game, Bryant compared the Clippers to the “Showtime” Lakers, and for generations the only way those two entities were similar is that both played in shorts and tennis shoes.

Bryant, however, wasn’t the first notable player to make that comment or even the most qualified. Last week, none other than Magic Johnson, the man who owned the keys to “Showtime,” said the same thing on television.

There is no question which of these teams is the better one right now, and the question of which will be better in four months continues to trend strongly in the Clippers’ favor.

The Lakers simply can’t match the Clippers’ speed or athletic ability, and we can’t guarantee much in life, but we do promise that none of these Lakers will get any younger between now and the playoffs.

Not that the Lakers are a cinch even to make the postseason. They began Friday ranked 11th in the Western Conference, which is comfortably outside looking in.

It’s interesting then, isn’t it, that the Lakers are attempting to play a Mike D’Antoni system that emphasizes speed and athletic ability? That seems to go against logic, but then again so does firing a head coach after only five games.

The Lakers keep talking about building chemistry, which is great and all, but how much does that sort of thing matter if those trying to use that chemistry are wobbling late in games?

Let’s be honest, so far this season, compared to the Lakers, there are pianos with livelier legs.

How long ago does that Sports Illustrated cover featuring Dwight Howard and Steve Nash seem? Written across their photo was the message “Now this is going to be fun,” and who knew SI could jinx itself with its own cover?

How a basketball team that starts with Bryant and Howard can ever be below .500 is mystifying.

Then add Nash, Pau Gasol and a version of Metta World Peace that is in Ron Artest-type shape and the Lakers become genuinely confounding.

At one point in the fourth quarter, Lakers’ TV analyst Stu Lantz told viewers, “Everybody’s in denial.”

We think he was talking about the Clippers’ defense, but he might have been talking about the Lakers in general.

Slow and old and getting no younger. Is this going to work with D’Antoni’s system? Personally, right now, we wouldn’t bet (expletive) on it.

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