Thursday, November 08, 2007

Some Guy Named Jere

I always hated it when someone would do that wacky little technique where, instead of just saying a very famous person's name, they say, "some guy named (famous person)." I mean, I get it, but it's just a pet peeve of mine. Just say the name. It's like "internets." Fine. Funny. The first few times. And don't get me wrong, I love repeat-style comedy. But some things only work for so long. When I saw Henry Rollins speak a few weeks ago, I don't know what disappointed me more, Henry saying "internets" three separate times, or the guy next to me cracking up every time. Even on the first time, I wanted to say to the guy, Surely you've heard that one a million times, right?

In other pet peeve news, sports reporters continue to refer to the mound as "the bump," each time acting like they invented the term and are unleashing upon the living rooms of America. Oh, that's another one I never liked: "right into your living room." Growing up, we never had a TV in the living room. It was in the family room. But, hey, I was using "izzle" a liiiittle too long, so I guess we each do things in our own way. Ooh! That's another one I hate. And this one I've only heard on TV--"oh, that's just his way." Huh?

But back to "some guy." I usually associate it with the Splendid Splinter: "The only other player to rack up something-something hits in a single-season? Some guy named Ted Williams." Call the fire department, you're on fire! ("Hot"--I've already talked about that one.) So I web-searched the phrase. Three Google pages worth of "some guy named Ted Williams." Then I tried Michael Jordan: Eight pages. Now I'll try Tiger Woods.... Five pages.

Hmmm, I wonder who the champion of "some guy named" is. Let's try Babe Ruth. Wow, only three pages. Gretzky, three. Jordan seems to be the early front-runner. If anyone comes across someone with more than eight pages, let me know. (I'm talking athletes only.) (I also wonder who the top "some girl" is....)

You're lucky you got to WATCH the ALCS and World Series, and didn't have to listen to Jon Miller on the radio- he must have used the phrase "[insert pitcher's name here] TOES THE SLAB..." about a million times. Who's one of the worst announcers? Some guy named Jon Miller...

I feel like the problem with Miller is that he's getting senile. Back in the 80s (speaking of radio), when I'd be sitting there trying to get 1080 Hartford, only to have the 1090 Baltimore station overpower it (despite being 45 minutes from Hartford), I'd hear Miller, and I liked him. But maybe I just liked the voice. Of course, he also used to do the Sox way before that, but it was before my time.

I'm cursed by being bothered by the construction "this [team name] team," as in "the numbers put up by this Red Sox team are simply unbelievable." It may not be grammatically incorrect, but it is just redundant enough to get on my nerves, and so common throughout all sports that it can annoy me all year long.

Also, different sport, but when people describe football teams as 'physical.' That has to stop.

Oh, believe me, going to Univ. of MD, I heard Miller on the radio a lot in college; he was great as the local radio guy; I think being on the national stage and, frankly, listening to people kiss his ass, has turned him into a Vin Scully wannabe, but without the simple gravitas and matter-of-fact-ness mixed with blue collar poetry that Scully has always brought to the mic. I remember being excited and disappointed when he went to ESPN, and more disappointed over the years as he has just become the straight man to Joe Morgan's nonsensical ravings.