Can they handle the truth? A bun (voice of Kristen Wiig), her hot-dog boyfriend (Seth Rogen) and a suspiciously Woody Allen-sounding bagel (Edward Norton) discover that what they’ve been taught about the “Great Beyond” is not quite right in the very adult animated comedy “Sausage Party.” less

Can they handle the truth? A bun (voice of Kristen Wiig), her hot-dog boyfriend (Seth Rogen) and a suspiciously Woody Allen-sounding bagel (Edward Norton) discover that what they’ve been taught about the ... more

Photo: Courtesy Sony Pictures Entertainment

Holiday movies so bad they may get a frosty reception

1 / 4

Back to Gallery

Ah, the holidays. Time to gather together with those folks you love enough to see once a year. Time for football and, after a few toddies, a frank exchange of views over a dead bird. With this year’s election, however, there’s real danger of those spirited debates turning into knife fights with the good silverware. Better, perhaps, to enjoy a movie instead. Here are some options for a bad holiday: movies to make your loved ones as miserable as you are, or perhaps to help you wallow together in the cynicism of the season.

There are plenty of terrible holiday movies, too many to describe in detail here. But if you want a selection of overblown, overstuffed, formulaic family non-fun, you can shovel from a pile, including: “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (the mind-numbing 2000 live-action version with Jim Carrey, not the immortal 1966 animated TV version with Boris Karloff), “Jingle All the Way” (1996 — a comedy about competitive Christmas shopping with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad … just imagine), “Deck the Halls” (2006 — a “comedy” pitting Danny DeVito against Matthew Broderick) and “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (1989) … you get the idea. For Hanukkah, Adam Sandler’s animated “Eight Crazy Nights” is not so awful, but not so good, either. “Little Fockers,” the third in the “Meet the Parents” series, is not horrible. Well, it’s kind of horrible. It’s really just running on empty. So if that’s your version of passive-aggressive revenge, the members of the shallow, crass, loud, Hollywood widget holiday club are legion.

Bad Santa (2003): When it comes to subversive holiday movies, though, the gold standard may be the original “Bad Santa,” the obvious choice for this list. It’s chock-full of the cynicism and bitterness you might sympathize with at this time of year, but it’s also really funny. It’s a messed-up caper tale of a pair of thieves (Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox) who clean up during the holidays while taking Santa and elf jobs at malls. It’s filthy and dark, but hilarious throughout. John Ritter has some of his best screen moments in it, especially in some expertly edited reactions in scenes with Bernie Mac.

To see a trailer: https://youtu.be/xQvaoRScND4 (the film’s actual scenes tend to be a bit ribald for a family newspaper to provide links to them).

Sausage Party (2016): Many of you may have hoped that Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and company’s “The Night Before” (2015) could turn into a rollicking stoner holiday classic, especially since “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas” (2011) didn’t quite fill the stocking. Ahem. Sadly, it was not to be, as the film came nowhere near the heights these gonzo guys have hit before. Therefore, the recommendation here is none other than “Sausage Party.” Rogen, Goldberg and crew have put together a super-raunchy sex-drugs-and-violence fest populated by anthropomorphic food … and it’s actually about the roots of religion. And although it might drive some out of the room (which you might not mind, let’s be honest), it might also start another “spirited debate” among those who remain.

“The Rapture” (1991): If starting angry debates about religion is your thing, there’s always the superb “The Rapture” or the ultraviolent “The Passion of the Christ” (2004), probably the most unsuitable-for-children film on this list.

“Misery” (1990): Feel trapped in a winter wonderland? Well, “Misery” loves company. In Rob Reiner’s adaptation of the Stephen King novel, Kathy Bates smashes her way to a best actress Oscar as Annie Wilkes. “You … dirty bird!” Annie “rescues” her favorite writer, Paul Sheldon (James Caan), from a car wreck, only to hold him prisoner while he crafts a book to her specifications. Perhaps sitting at the table with family makes you feel like Sheldon: hobbled … chained … producing words. Just look in Caan’s eyes. You’ll understand.

“Leaving Las Vegas” (1995): It has nothing to do with the season. One could have listed many others in this slot, the “The world is freaking dark! Who cares about fruitcake?” slot. But here’s Nicolas Cage in his Oscar-winning performance (did you forget that Nicolas Cage won an Oscar?) as a nihilistic alcoholic in the final stages of intentionally drinking himself to death in the company of a hooker with a heart of gold (Elisabeth Shue, who received a nomination). It’s a slow circle around the drain and a testament to the utter futility of love. No one can save anyone, the movie seems to mutter, in slurred speech. Yet there’s something Christmasy about it. Perhaps it’s the lights of the Vegas strip. Perhaps it’s the feeling of bitter cold, but here, it’s the bitter cold of the soul. And the music is really good throughout.

“Inglourious Basterds” (2009): And for a charged-up Hanukkah, may we recommend some Nazi hunting? This one’s a real engine-revver, one of Quentin Tarantino’s best. The story of Jewish American commandos, and a Jewish woman hiding in plain sight in occupied France, getting theirs against the Third Reich is not for kids.