Monday, August 5, 2013

What NOT to tell a woman who wants chocolate

Eating healthy is something that is important to me.
Obviously, in order to live a long and healthy life, fruits and
vegetables are the choice foods to achieve that goal. Whatever the My
Plate by USDA recommends. I love fruits and veggies-I was the only kid
in my family who ate them. My grandma use to fuss at me for going into
her garden and getting into her carrots and cucumbers.

But, lemme tell ya something, folks. When a woman is craving
chocolate, and apple or a handful of baby carrots JUST DON'T CUT IT.
Carrots don't taste like chocolate. Neither does an apple. If I were
blindfolded and given a taste test, with a chocolate bar as item A, and a
carrot as item B, I guarantee I can tell you which one is the
chocolate. They do NOT taste the same, people!! And, I don't care what
health nut gurus say: eating fruit is NOT THE SAME AS EATING CHOCOLATE.
And, and, a carrot won't make my craving for chocolate magically
disappear. I want a Hershey bar, not a flippin' carrot. Carrots do not
have any milk chocolate-y goodness to them. Carrots are great-don't
get me wrong. But, when hormones turn us ladies into moody, homicidal
maniacs, the smartest/safest thing to say is, "What type of chocolate
would you like? You look great, by the way." The DUMBEST thing you
could say goes along the lines of, "Don't you think a nice apple would
be better than that fattening chocolate bar? It'll make you gain
weight." Because, I will throw the apple at your head and retreat into
my corner with my chocolate bar, while mumbling, "My preeeeecioussssss."

How very true...I went through a period of time when I ate the mess out of Hershey kisses. I would sneak eat them so my husband didn't know. He didn't care, I just didn't want him to know my "addiction". My daughter thought she was in labor and we sat eating Hershey kisses timing contractions. We ate the whole bag. She was in labor and saved the kiss wrappers to show my grandson some day. Ha Ha!!

About Me

I've been married for almost 18 years, and I have 3 kids. I'm a working mom who teaches 2/3 year olds, then comes home to my kids. One of my kids is on the Autism spectrum. My sense of humor is titled "sarcasm," so don't take my smart-alec posts too seriously.