My blog is about my adventures as a SAHM of 3 wonderful boys, a.k.a The X Mom gang.My two oldest boys have Fragile X Syndrome and some degree of Autism. Sometimes dealing with the gang members can be difficult, but that's when I get the most inspiration. I try to take a look at life with a sense of humor, but I do have a serious side that might pop up here and there. Sit back, read, laugh, enjoy.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

As most you know my family is currently working with a behavior specialist to reduce problem behaviors. Our biggest battle right now is with Renegade Doodle. His aggression is steadily getting worse, and he is seeking out others when he is angry, or upset. The cause of his anger does not change the outcome, it is always expressed with violence. Ideally we would like to avoid anger fueled tantrums / meltdowns, but they are occurring instantly after being denied a request. Giving him everything he requests ALL the time would worsen the situation, so I always provide alternative choices if what he is requesting is unavailable. Choices are not working with RD... he wants what he wants.

I spoke with his teacher this AM and she feels that timeouts will eventually be effective, however to follow thru with timeouts at home he has to be put in a highchair, otherwise time out is a game of cat and mouse. I don't have a problem w/ putting him in the high chair but I do have a problem with him hurting himself while in the chair. He bites the side of his hand along the bottom of his thumb and has started to draw blood. He is also pulling his hair, but so far no significant hair loss.

Mrs. Teacher and I are thinking about giving him silly putty or playdough while in the highchair, but these are both things he really enjoys and we don't want to reward the misbehavior, but would the silly putty and playdough be calming and help? This is where we are stumped... What do you mom's think? If he is in the chair and it calms him down and makes the timeout last only the 3minutes instead of him continuing to tantrum and it lasting 20 + min. The rule I was told to follow w/ timeout is you don't come out until your calm... regardless of length. For those of you who use timeout is that how you follow thru w/ it? If not what are your strategies?

Bedtime Routines

What are your routines at bedtime? What have you found that works best, and what hasn't worked for you?

6 comments:

If the concern is rewarding him while he is in time out, maybe the solution is to put him in and tell him that as soon as he is calm he can have the putty or playdough and put it somewhere he can see it from his timeout spot. The faster he calms the longer he can have the putty when he gets out of the chair?

Maybe the biting and hair pulling is sensory seeking behavior as a mechanism to self regulate and help calm himself. Perhaps if you give him something he can chew on rather then play with. I know biting helps calm the cestibular system, and maybe he needs that to help deal with his emotions. I do think however just leaving him there freaked out without any tools to help calm himself isn;t going to work, at least in my opinion.

I so suck at routine and we are just trying to figure out the bedtime thing now.

in my experience time outs just don't work with children with FX or Autism....and I've heard the same thing in every workshop I've been to...and you're right about the putty...he'll see the reward but not the discipline...I obviously don't have the solutions though because we have the same problem with the wrist biting...buut, one thing I do is without a reaction to his biting at all, say "oh, you're angry, chew this" as you are replacing his wrist with something he CAN bite....and while we have yet to try the punishment therapy i spoke about, i think its coming soon....if you can talk to your therapist about it, it just might be a good solution to investigate.....

I can't offer much insight as we are trying to figure out discipline ourselves. So hard when communication is limited (for our little guy, both expressive and receptive). We wrote a bit about our challenges here: http://loveandsurvivalwithfragilex.blogspot.com/2009/02/update-to-discipline-post.html and here: http://loveandsurvivalwithfragilex.blogspot.com/2009/02/discipline.html

I was going to suggest exactly what Sarah did. As stubborn as Aidan is, I can usually diffuse a tantrum if I make it his choice to take the punishment and continue on with the day or to keep acting out and lose more and more stuff/sctivities/tresats

About Me

I am a 27 yo SAHM to 3 wonderful boys, "Smarty Pants" age 7, "Renegade Doodle" 5 and Scooter 3. My two oldest have Fragile X Syndrome and some degree of Autism. I spend a lot of time focusing on their needs,putting my needs on hold. My life has definitely been tough the past few years but it's been fun. No two days are the same, never a dull moment.