New flirting guide 'Smitten's' advice put to the test: Learn what wins over men and what you should avoid

Tired of being ignored? Put some honey on your lips and ask if it looks like lip gloss. Hopefully, it works out a little better for you than it did for Molly Friedman, who at first made an unsuspecting guy a bit nervous.

Attention, single ladies: If you really want to win a man’s heart, put some honey on your lips — and don’t be afraid to ask if he’s afraid of ghosts.

A coat of the sweet stuff on your pout and a slew of weird questions are great tricks to win a man’s attention, according to the authors of “Smitten: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt” — a new love handbook that we put to the test.

It turns out “Smitten” (out next Monday) isn’t just another lonely girl’s guide to finding a husband, soulmate or knight in shining armor. For authors and best friends Ariel Kiley, 32, and Simone Kornfeld, 31, a fairy-tale ending doesn’t include a Vera Wang dress or Bloomingdale’s gift registry. Instead, the duo encourage women to flirt their way toward the ultimate prize: a collection of, as Kornfeld puts it, “sparkly, hilarious moments in the night.”

So flirting isn’t just a means to an end. And according to these romantic writers, there’s more to the process than squeezing into your tightest-of-tight dresses.

“Sure,” Kiley says, “all an attractive girl has to do is smile to get him to sexually desire her. If you’re a hot girl, guys are going to want to bang you.”

But, she asks, are they going to want you there in the morning?

“‘Smitten’ encompasses a lot more than how to get guys to make out with you and sleep with you,” Kiley says. “It’s about creating a personal connection that has much more meaning than sexual attraction.”

"Smitten" authors Simone Kornfeld and Ariel Kiley suggest opening a conversation with something akward and ridiculous. Ask a guy whether he believes in ghosts or would animal he'd be.

(Kendall Rodriguez for New York Daily News)

Of course, any girl who’s read “The Rules” — the dusty ’90s instruction manual for marrying Mr. Perfect — knows not to sleep with a guy on the first date. But nowhere in “The Rules” does it say that men love women who talk dirty, reveal their most secret thoughts or drop five-syllable words like “lasciviously” and “fiduciary.”

Indeed, being a “Rules” girl is a mistake women regularly make, say Kiley and Kornfeld.

“A lot of women feel that they need to be prideful — that they need to be a little more salty,” says Kornfeld. “If a man comes over, they don’t want to be too open, and that squelches the connection.”

Instead, the brilliant flirt shows exactly who she is up front. Obsessed with olive juice? Order your next martini extra, extra dirty, and ask a handsome stranger if he wants a taste. Terrified of heights? Go to a rooftop bar and clutch a man’s arm when you get too close to the edge.

“It’s so hot when you’re real,” says Kiley. “My latest thing is cadaver dissections, because I just did one.” Breaking the ice with a true and borderline bizarre factoid like that, Kiley says, is key.

“He may not understand why the f— you’d want to saw a skull in half, but that’s more interesting than … asking where you’re from.”

Reporter Molly Friedman with the book "Smitten" in Bryant Park on June 5. Friedman put some of the tips to the test -- to mixed results.

Still, the art of flirtation is more complex than simply being yourself. We learned just how tricky it can be on a Friday night, when we went bar-hopping with Kiley and Kornfeld to put their techniques into action — to mixed results.

Technique #1: Take your place with confidence

The setup: As soon as you walk into a bar, look for attractive men who aren’t talking to girls, and sit within their sight line. But don’t just plop down — as you sit, project confidence with excellent posture, your shoulders back and your face focused on the room.

Field notes: Ten seconds after the three of us sat with our backs against the wall at West Village bar the Brooklyneer, two guys waved at us and ambled right over. Kornfeld opened up even more — telling the better-looking man, “You look like such a young little babe suckling on a teat.” The guy, Ryan Bennett, turned out to be a 31-year-old VP at an office consulting company. And single. After Bennett gave me his card, I asked Kiley and Kornfeld why that was so easy. “All we did was say, ‘Open your energy,’ ” said Kiley. “It’s your heart chakra.”

Verdict: Success, even if you do feel a little out on display. The next time you see a hot guy, just sit up straight and stick out your chest — er, your heart chakra. If you lift it, they will come.

Technique #2: Ask a quirky question

"Smitten's" authors say the book is not just about sex but about forming a meaningful personal connection.

The setup: Go beyond the basic boring chitchat and open a conversation with an unusual query, such as: Do you believe in ghosts? Or, if you could be any animal, what would you be? “A guy’s going to be flattered if you go up to him and say something awkward or ridiculous,” says Kornfeld.

Field notes: At Pegu Club, a SoHo cocktail bar, Kiley and Kornfeld encouraged me to approach an intimidating group of attractive guys in their 30s. Randomly selecting one blond from the bunch, I smiled and asked, “Do you believe in ghosts?” Scott, a 34-year-old salesman with a Bradley Cooper smile, laughed and looked to his friend for help. “What?” said his pal Luke, a 32-year-old bond trader, leaning forward. “Um, well, do you believe in ghosts? My friends and I were discussing it,” I said, nervously. “No!” shouted Luke, over the music. Unprepared for ghost-related followup questions, I loudly replied, “Neither do I!” before retreating back to Kiley and Kornfeld.

Verdict: Success, sort of. After confessing to Luke and Scott that I was actually trying out a new flirting technique on them, they were suddenly way more friendly and talkative. “I felt like you were f—ing with me at first,” said Scott. “At the same time, you came up to me and started talking to me, and that doesn’t happen very often, for women to go up to guys. That’s kind of cool.” Luke added, “It caught me off guard. I like it … It would make me remember you.”

Technique #3: Reveal your secret thoughts

The setup: Kiley and Kornfeld convincingly make the case that all of us are strange, and when getting to know a potential love interest, it’s best to let your strangeness shine by choosing the right moments to reveal secret thoughts. An example from their book: “I’m fighting the strongest urge to lick the gooseberries on that wallpaper.”

Field notes: Without any food-themed wall art to trigger my taste buds, I remembered Kiley and Kornfeld’s sage lesson that everyone who’s out at night is essentially looking for love. They talk about the “attitude of all-inclusiveness,” and how that “infuses the world with a sense of kindness.” So, during a pleasant but thin conversation with Luke the bond trader, I told him that he seemed like he was from a wholesome flyover state like Kansas, where everyone was happy and nice to each other. Luke got a kick out of this and told me he’s actually from West Virginia and likes to shoot guns. So much for my nice Midwestern guy. Still, I may have a date at a local gun range in my future.

Don't be afraid to show off your expansive vocabulary or any in-depth knowledge you have.

The setup: It’s not proper etiquette, but Kiley and Kornfeld say talking dirty has its place in the flirting playbook. “We are taught to be polite, smile, put our napkin in our lap,” they write, “for fear we’ll be branded surly little sluts.” But sometimes, they say, it’s good to let your naughty side show.

Field notes: I have yet to hear my parents speak in grammatically incorrect sentences, let alone ones with four-letter words, so being casually crass felt disingenuous. But smut isn’t limited to linguistics. While chatting with Scott, I observed how great Kornfeld’s chest looked in her low-cut top. Scott started gazing in her direction, muttered, “Yes, she’s a very sexual person,” and didn’t look back at me for a while. “Hey, eyes down here !” I wanted to yell.

Verdict: Meh. If, unlike me, you’re comfortable talking dirty and dropping f-bombs around men you’ve just met, then you should do so. But when we asked Scott later what he thinks of women who curse, he said, “I’m not into that. It’s kind of trashy.” His married friend Everett added, “Unless you want an STD.” Classy!

Technique #5: Show your smarts

Win his heart with a potty mouth? One guy said he wasn't into that, and another linked it to STDs. Ouch.

(Kendall Rodriguez for New York Daily News)

The setup: Don’t be afraid to use multisyllabic words in sentences or employ your extensive knowledge of Tibetan theology, the Syrian conflict or the history of the mint leaf in conversation.

Field notes: After spotting a guy I’d call “my type” sitting at the Brooklyneer’s bar, I noticed he was wearing a hat with an esoteric lacrosse reference on it. My high school had a champion lacrosse team, so I figured I could riff on that for a bit. After five minutes of lively chatter with Leroy, 31, I finally got around to asking if he was there by himself. “Oh, I’m married,” he said, pointing to a very pretty, very pregnant woman sitting two seats away. “That’s my wife.”

Verdict: We definitely agree with Kiley and Kornfeld’s advice to avoid the “bimbo fallacy” and show off your intelligence to any guy you meet. Just don’t forget to check for wedding rings.

Field notes: On a sunny afternoon in Bryant Park, I sparked a conversation with Drew Avery, 32, who works at Condé Nast. When I pulled out my bear-shaped bottle of honey, Avery gave a nervous chuckle. So far, so good, right? But once I started applying the sticky stuff to my lips and making a kissy face, Avery seemed to slowly sit farther and farther away. I dutifully asked if it looked like I was wearing lip gloss, and Avery frowned before saying, “Um, it did …”

Verdict: A for awkward. When we ’fessed up about our flirting test, Avery gave us some insight on what he was thinking: “There are so many questions. Why do you have honey? Why do you think it looks like lip gloss?” Still, he admitted, “It’s a good icebreaker.”