Fred the Unlucky Black Cat spends all of his spare time trying to remove the conical white plastic collar that the vet put on to stop him licking his stitches. He tries to remove the collar by rubbing it, continually, over and over, against the carpet, or against a blanket or the carpet-covered-cat-climbing-thing-I-got-him-to-keep-him-busy. Rub rub rub rub rub rub rub, over and over, in the dry air of a wintery bedroom. As he does this he builds up static charges which do not discharge, then wanders the room with all his fur on end, attracting hair, dust, small pieces of paper, fluff and lint, a black cat slowly going grey with dust. I am sitting here typing, and I just felt Fred go past, six inches away, like a prickly ghost of static wind. It occurs to me that if I actually reach down and touch him, the immediate result will be a lot like these images ( strikeone.com.au/special/special.htm ). Or these films ( wvlightning.com/video.html ).

One Tom Lehrer song I used to know, The Elements, is beautifully realised on this page: www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.htmlI must refresh my memory so I can shock, amaze & bore listeners with it again.There are links from here to other Tom Lehrer pieces on line, including lyrics, mp3s and interviews.