Chick #1: I’m starving.Chick #2: I haven’t eaten all day.Chick #1: Do you have issues with food?Chick #2: No, not really. Well, I tried throwing up after eating for a while, but I wasn’t really into it.Chick #1: So, what do you do now?Chick #2: I just don’t eat.

Boy: Mom, why is there a line here and not on the boys’ side?Mom: Girls go to the bathroom differently. You guys can just stand around and pee and make crosses. You know — how you and Daddy make crosses with your pee-pees?

Chick: I bet he’s fuh-reaky in the sack.Friend: Definitely.Chick: No… Like fuh-reaky… Like, not like normal freaky, how everyone needs to get it once in a while, but, like, weird freaky — like pulling up your pants and finding the closest exit. Did I ever tell you about the ice cream?Friend, laughing: No!Chick: This one time he was like, ‘Let’s have some fun’ and decided to tie me up. And then to, like, build anticipation or whatever, he went and got a bowl of ice cream.Friend: Shut up!Chick: I’m serious… And then I guess my damn cat decided he wanted a snack, too!Friend, hysterical: Shut up! I can’t breathe!

Columbia chick: … And what I’m really interested in studying is how computers are for us what slaves were to 19th century slaveholders.Columbia dude: That’s very interesting.Columbia chick: I mean, the way we treat them like commodities…