I would have liked a little bit more suspense, though-something to get chills tingling up my spine, or to cause me to glance furtively over my shoulder. I love thrillers and horror stories, and I would have enjoyed this more if it were longer. I still appreciate your attentiveness to correct grammar and spelling, and you have a good grasp of the English language, but this could use a bit more flavor to spice up the words.

It was a nice try though, and I am adding this to my Favorite Stories list. I bid you good luck as you continue your journey along the oft-trodden path of a writer.