Not Wanting to Want

My seat mate on the train spots an older woman and offers her his seat. She declines, but thanks him. I touch his arm and say, “That was nice,”. He smiles and nods deeply, perhaps acknowledging the acknowledgment. I feel a burning discomfort, an embarrassment, shame, almost unbearably strong feeling. For him? For me? For humanity? Did I tell him that really just to get acknowledgment for my acknowledgment?? Wanting. Giving. Receiving. So painful. I think I want so much. For more help please reach out to us here.