Well one good thing about the cops coming the other night is that I finally got an idea for a Halloween costume. I decided to be a cop. Kind of cliché, but maybe not so much, since most people dress like monsters, zombies, vampires, and try to get clever with a play on words. Anyway, more about Halloween later.

Back to the cops.

I kicked in the door and Sweetheart screamed, “no Grimm, please no!” The cops came in as that happened. I didn’t know they or Pete came in, but I heard, “Don’t move!”

I turned around quickly because I had no idea who they were and they pulled their guns on me. wtf. I had no idea why they were there, why they were pulling their guns on me. It didn’t dawn on me that it was because of the “domestic disturbance” and apparently someone called about “domestic assault” because I was trying to force Sweetheart back in to the apartment and by holding her arm tightly in order to prevent her from going away, she was saying I was hurting her.

Now to the observer, I can understand how that may appear. But people have no clue, I mean, if I let her go of her own free will, which of course she has a right to, I would probably never have seen my baby Valentina again. There was that possibility. She had no right to come back into my life, impose fatherhood upon me–which I accepted willingly and have been grateful for–only to steal my baby away. That’s not fucking fair. I just wanted to talk to her, to ensure I could still be a part of the baby’s life. She was being selfish.

Anyway, the cops told me to put my hands behind my head, then move slowly down to the floor face down. Then they frisked me, pulling my wallet, cell phone, and harmonica out of my pockets. It was violating. Fortunately they didn’t bind me with those plastic things, but they told me to sit down and shut up while they talked to Sweetheart. I was lucky they wanted to hear the story first and didn’t just arrest me. I thought Pete called the cops so I asked him why. He said he didn’t so I figured it was a neighbor or bystander on the street. I was so enwrapped, I didn’t even notice that anyone was around.

Sweetheart validated that she was leaving and I had every reason to be upset, and that I’ve never hurt her or the baby, and she’s confident I never would, and in fact she’s never felt more safe than when she’s with me. Then what the fuck’s her problem?? She said she screamed when I busted the door in because the pounding on the door was scaring Valentina and she was going to open it, but didn’t want to go near the door in case it did crash in while she was there with the baby in her arms.

They left but they were going to file a report with DCF, the Department of Children and Families. wtf. The next day, Blues Monday, DCF showed up after I got back from playing with The Convoy. And btw Edie wasn’t there, which was good, I guess I’ll be going back. Have shit to say about that too, but not now.

DCF shows up and talked with us, together and individually. They opened a case because Sweetheart is such a freakin’ bohemian they want to be sure there’s stability in the baby’s life. They also opened one up because of my substance abuse history and the potential for violence I demonstrated. They said it would only be a few months, just to monitor things. Whatever, I’ve got nothing to hide.

So as it is now, I’m barely speaking to Sweetheart. We’re as congenial as we need to be, but it’s all about Valentina, and I’m trying to make my role as a father even more pronounced. The truth is, I want the baby and I want Sweetheart to leave, but in reality I know Valentina needs her mother. Well enough about all that shit, it’s starting to piss me off.

HALLOWEEN

I was a cop and I mustered up the courage to go to a party with Hasty, Patrick, Pete, and Iona. Iona was a given, but I chose H and the P’s because I figured it would be easier with them to not cave in on the drugs or alcohol that might be accessible. I did a great job too. I just kept Valentina in my head, focused on her, did it for her. I imagined her at my age with the same struggle and it kind of made me sad to think she might have to be like this. So I figured maybe my parents feel the same about me. It’s very intense being a parent and all the analytical and emotional things that go on with you. The world is so different after parenthood. In a challenging and beautiful way.

So I was a cop, and Hasty dressed up as Emily from “The Corpse Bride.” Iona dressed like Xena the Warrior Princess which is an old show I’ve never seen, but Iona loves it, and I loved her costume. Pete and Patrick were Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Pete was Mr. Hyde. Pete wore the cloak and the hat. Patrick wore a lab coat and carried a beaker filled with a glowing green liquid. He broke up some of those glow sticks and poured that shit in there. We went to Danika’s party, and she was good, the booze was in a separate room with the door closed. People could freely go in there, but it made it easier not to see it all spread out. People had their cups and bottles in their hands, but I had brought a case of O’douls which helped a lot. It wasn’t so bad.

The best part was sneaking off to have sex with Xena. She got all wild and handcuffed me to the bed, which freaked me out at first until I remembered the cuffs were releasable, then it was really fucking hot. Damn. I think I’ll have her dress up as Xena more often.

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lol it reminds me of that movie about the porn star, I forget the title, but when her boyfriend first takes her to make the films, the guys are like, well she’s cute, like a sexy Raggedy Ann, but she’s not what we’re looking for. Anyway, yeah Xena is sexy.