Deep thinking

Carpe diem

I was chatting with someone yesterday and what we were talking about made me think. We were talking about our perception of other people who have managed to lose weight and what it is that 'flicks that switch' so we can join their ranks. What keeps us going 'this time' when we've given up so many times in the past?

I know the feeling well. I've often felt like the kid outside the sweet shop with my nose pressed against the glass ... all those women smiling out at me from the glossy pages of a slimming magazine, who'd lost vast amounts of weight and were leading happy and fulfilled lives and I would never be one of them (or so I thought).
To a certain extent, I still don't preceive myself as one of 'those women' because I still haven't reached my goal and there's always that element of self-doubt ... I've done well up til now but I'm 'bound to fail' because i always have in the past. This is a battle with my own head that I have to fight every day.

Last weekend, I really thought I'd lost the plot as the old chatterboxes and the old 'me' emerged. For six months I'd been 'saintly' and then on Friday night, for some reason unbeknown to me, I picked up a chocolate penguin biscuit from the packed lunch basket in the kitchen, unwrapped it and ate in in three bites.

I shocked myself and though 'blast - what have you done??' Now, if I'd left it there, no great harm would have been done but no - I thought 'You've had one - you might as well have two'. So I did. Then I felt weak willed so I had another. Then I felt weak AND a failure .... my chatterbox was screaming in my ear by this time 'SEE? SEE? YOU CAN'T STICK AT ANYTHING!!!' And so I went on to eat SIX penguins on the trot.

So you see, the demons still lurk there - I can't let my guard down at all. I can't be complacent for one minute.
I felt very down and a bit shell-shocked (as well as nauseous at that much chocolate & sugar!). Anyway, I spent a day or so wallowing in self-pity before picking myself up, dusting myself down, giving myself a swift kick up the backside and carrying on.

I thought long and hard about my situation and remembered something I posted months and months ago. It went like this.ALL of us have but THREE options when it comes to our weight. It's up to us to CHOOSE one of the options - and we must be clear that the option we end up with is one that we have CHOSEN. This is the 'chat' I gave myself.

Option 1 - The ostrich:
Put your head in the sand - say 'blow it all' - eat what you want and continue to gain and gain and gain.
Is this the option you want to choose? If yes - then choose it and don't moan about the consequences of your choice. If no - go to option 2.

Option 2 - The pivot:
Decide that you're happy with your weight and choose to maintain. You do this by hovering above and below your pivot - just 'being careful' about what you eat and keeping an eye on it. Is this the option you want to choose? If yes then do it and don't moan about your maintained weight: you have CHOSEN to stay there. If no - go to option 3.

Option 3 - The mountaineer:
You are not happy with your weight and want to do something about it. You take a deep breath and begin to scale that mountain step by step. If you slip and fall a few feet, you gather yourself together and carry on climbing. The important thing is not to abandon the mountain for the sake of a slip of a few feet.
The ropes attaching you to the mountain is the support you get from those around you - you can also choose to cut those and go it alone - but you're more likely to fall completely off the mountain if you do.
Is this the option you want to choose? Then do it. If not - then see options 1 and 2.

I have chosen option 3. Like a reluctant, bratty child, I've forced myself to accept that I have no other choice: I'm not happy to compromise and maintain where I am (although I've done pretty well - I'm still not where I want to be) and option 1 is absolutely out of the question. Much as I WANT the pizza, the chocolate, the pastries, eating them in the way I used to will fast track me back to a grim and painful place.
I can say "it's not fair - why can't I eat like Tom, Dick & Harry" until I'm blue in the face - fact is I can't and eating like them won't alter that fact - I'll gain weight - they won't. It sucks but there it is. Having cast off my resentful head and replaced it with my accepting one, I'm making headway at last.

Now I've got that epic novel off my chest (you've probably fallen asleep at the keyboard!) I'll wish you a great day!

Member

i know what you mean and can relate to your post completely i have always chose option one, but i am on day five now and i trying and fully intending to follow option three, its not easy but i want it so badly. Good luck with you journey

Gone, but who cares huh

LIGHTER LIFE FOR LIFE

Brilliant post - you will help a lot of strugglers with your honest advise - good luck with the rest of your journey!
Slimdom is amazing & you can live your life in a "normal world" instead of wishing to be something different!
I think you have just tested yourself and you have passed with flying colours!
You would make a great counsellor!

Member

I was an ostritch for years and years and think I might have graduated to being a mountaineer (who has the odd ostrich-y day) and it feels great. I do still want the chocolate/pizza/chips etc but to be honest they taste fab the second BEFORE I scoff them, then while I am eating and afterwards I usually think "Well it was nice but not that amazing and I would have felt much better if I had chosen not to eat it".

What is much better is how energetic and confident and good about myself I feel now - shopping for clothes is a pleasure and a triumph when the size 10 actually fits, I have started rock climbing with my husband and actually enjoy going to the gym (all things I can still hardly believe I can say about myself) My chatterbox is a cheeky mare and can often make me think eating contraband will be better than all these other things but I am starting to learn that satisfaction from food is very fleeting and often turns into guilt and unhappiness the second the illegal item has been consumed. However, the "high" from losing weight and being slim and healthy is so much better than a chocolate high and much more lasting and fulfilling - I just need to start remembering it as I am reaching for a biscuit!

Full Member

Great post, i am struggeling at the moment, but sticking to it 100% i have to be a mountaineer for my health and sanity.

This is my 7th week and all i can think of is food food and more food, im not hungry i just want to eat, every time i feel like this, i come to this site, and someone like yourself has posted something brill which keeps me going.

Cambridge Diet Counsellor

Like most of us I was the 'the ostrich' for far too many years - can proudly say I became 'the mountaineer' and am now happily 'the pivot' and planning to stay that way for the rest of my life............YEAH

Gold Member

Hi Debbie...I really realy really want to me a mountaineer...but for the last couple of days I've been feeling that the mountain might be just a bit too high with a lot of horrible obstacles in the way!!

Administrator

Option 3 - The mountaineer:
You are not happy with your weight and want to do something about it. You take a deep breath and begin to scale that mountain step by step. If you slip and fall a few feet, you gather yourself together and carry on climbing. The important thing is not to abandon the mountain for the sake of a slip of a few feet.The ropes attaching you to the mountain is the support you get from those around you - you can also choose to cut those and go it alone - but you're more likely to fall completely off the mountain if you do.
Is this the option you want to choose? Then do it. If not - then see options 1 and 2.

I have chosen option 3. Like a reluctant, bratty child, I've forced myself to accept that I have no other choice: I'm not happy to compromise and maintain where I am (although I've done pretty well - I'm still not where I want to be) and option 1 is absolutely out of the question. Much as I WANT the pizza, the chocolate, the pastries, eating them in the way I used to will fast track me back to a grim and painful place.
I can say "it's not fair - why can't I eat like Tom, Dick & Harry" until I'm blue in the face - fact is I can't and eating like them won't alter that fact - I'll gain weight - they won't. It sucks but there it is. Having cast off my resentful head and replaced it with my accepting one, I'm making headway at last.

Now I've got that epic novel off my chest (you've probably fallen asleep at the keyboard!) I'll wish you a great day!

Silver Member

Hi Debbie
What a great post.
I like others have choosen all three in my life,but now is option 3 for me and this mountaineer is not far from the top.Just worried I can stay they once I havegot there.
I will print you post if that is ok and read it again when I feel i may be fulling.
I AM going to keep to option 3 yes I am
Thanks again Debbie for a great post
{{{HUGS}}}