Dream Window 11: Saratoga’s Healing Waters

Of late, my Dream Window project has involved collages in the window panes, instead of stained glass. This time, I’m going back to using the perimeter panes for stained glass, and using the center panel for one of my photographs.

And after searching around the two local salvage and parts warehouses – I found just the window for this upcoming project.

Yep, this is just what I’m looking for. A sweet Queen Anne window with some classic bubbly stained glass still inside. Got this little gem from Silver Fox Salvage – at this point in time, Jamie and Camille and the crew over there are keeping an eye out for Queen Anne windows for me. This one just came into the salvage yard two hours before I arrived. Got it before anyone else did. Ha.

Okay, time for window-bashing. The center pane had to come out; it was already cracked, and only a couple of strips of adhesive plastic were keeping the window together. Doesn’t matter. Out it comes. And whoever painted the window frame white, that person had no idea about masking off the glass surface so that it wouldn’t get painted as well. Nice. Great way to ruin glass, dimbulb.

I tried, very carefully, to remove all twelve stained glass perimeter panes. It wasn’t easy. I hoped to save as many as possible for future Dream Window projects; maybe if soaked the removed panes in paint thinner or turpentine, I could get the panes cleaned. unfortunately, I could only expatriate three intact stained glass pieces. Everything else shattered or cracked upon extraction.

So here’s my plan. I want the outer panes to have stained glass that swirls from panel to panel in an almost continuous path. I had something similar to that with Dream Window #5: The Thirst Quencher, which involved small reddish-white swirled art glass. But that required only a few panes; this needs to go throughout the perimeter, from corner to corner.

This kind of glass cutting isn’t in my skillset yet. I need an expert to get this kind of glass cut. And the kind of glass I want for this project is called Youghiogheny Opalescent Glass. No, I can’t pronounce it either. I’ve tried several times. I’ll get it, though.

I contacted Youghiogheny and asked if there was a way to have custom-cut glass panes for my project. I gave them all the measurements, and I sent them – along with payment – a digital copy of the window frame.

A few days later, I received a shipping box from Youghiogheny. Every pane was carefully packed in the shipping box; every pane was carefully lettered so that I would be able to get the glass colors to flow from one panel to the next.

This is important. I need the glass to flow for this project.

I carefully placed each piece in the frame. And by carefully, I mean CARE-FUL-LY. One cracked pane and this project is ruined.

Did I do okay?

You tell me.

Okay, now to put something in the middle. This is going to be a very important art project. And I want this to work as perfectly as possible.

Part of me wants this to be a very happy Dream Window. There has to be some peace and joy in these projects.

Not this time. Because this Dream Window will actually allow me to heal.

I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that I was a victim of child abuse. I still have scars – both physical and emotional – from some of those beatings. Scars from wounds that I had to lie about in school, in order to cover things up. Scars from being told, on various occasions, that “I deserved it.”

For decades, I’ve carried that pain in my body and in my soul. That residual hurt has caused anger in my life. It’s caused me to make horrible, idiotic decisions in relationships. It’s caused everything from insomnia to self-doubt to an inferiority complex the size of the Grand Canyon.

And even though I thought I moved past all the pain, recently the memories came back like a tidal wave in the path of a sandcastle. Anger. Pain. Hurt. I need this pain to leave my life forever. I don’t want it coming back like a rubber check, attacking me like a leftover land mine.

With all that in mind, I wanted to channel my anger and my frustration and my despair into this project. The border panels were complete. Now I needed a center pane. Let me create beauty from chaos.

And on Saturday, April 26 – yesterday, in fact – I returned to Beecher Creek Falls in Edinburg. I’ve photographed the Arad Copeland covered bridge that spanned the creek, I’ve photographed it several times in the past couple of months. And this time, I want to use my Nikon Df and an ND lens and my tripod, to get the photo I want for this Dream Window.

Ten in the morning. The clouds are over the sky. No sun peeking through. No probs. I can handle this. I scoped out some shooting locations. I need the bridge and I need the water flowing underneath it.

This spot’s not good. There’s a fallen tree branch that would be smack dab in the middle of the shot. No. Look for another spot.

How about over here? Good location for shooting… but it’s a steep drop from the side of the road to the creekbed. No. Look for another spot.

Hey, there’s a spot. Right there. I can get the creek and I can get the bridge. All I have to do is set my tripod on some rocks in the creek and it will work.

I crossed the bridge. I walked down the less-graded side of the creek. Nikon Df at the ready. 28mm f/2.8 ultra-wide pancake lens on the chassis. Vanguard Tracker IV tripod, steady as she goes.

The rockbed in the creek is stable and dry and sturdy. All I have to do is walk three steps into the water to get to the rockbed.

I can do this. One step. Water up to my shoelaces.

Second step. Water up to my ankles.

Third step. Water up to my – oh my god it’s up to my thighs!! AND IT’S ICE COLD!!! If that water went up three more inches…

I made it to the rockbed. Tripod just barely fits on the rocks. A few adjustments. And…

Got it. As the ice-chilling water soaked into my blue jeans, I continued shooting and capturing this bridge and the waterflow below. I even took some snaps as part of a polar panorama shot. I’ll save that for another time, maybe another contest. And the water actually looks like the stained glass panels from Youghiogheny Opalescent Glass.

Time to get this bad boy printed. Well, actually, I needed to go home and jump in a scalding hot shower and peel off my soaked clothing.

I printed the photo later that day, and purchased a piece of carefully-trimmed Lexan from Lowe’s. I’m not taking any chances on a piece of glass shattering during installation. No way no how.

Saturday night. Installation.

And this morning… for all to see…

Right here. Dream Window 11. Saratoga’s Healing Waters.

Dream Window 11: Saratoga’s Healing Waters. Created by Chuck Miller.

Yep. I decided to take what happened to me in the past, and turn it into something tangible and solid. Creating a positive artwork from a negative void.

I’m glad that I was able to do something like this.

Time to move forward. Not only with my life… but to create Dream Window number 12 someday.

A lesson I learned a few decades ago about fast moving steams when I was into canoeing, you cannot be sure of the depth of the water. Three times I found myself in water over my head in a stream that looked narrow enough to jump across if I had gotten a good running start.

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