Thank you for visiting. When our pet Hugo passed away in May 2018, I wondered what it would be like for him on the other side, and started writing these stories as a way to cope with his loss. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy imagining what he's up to. All comments and follows are welcome!

Part 18 – Missing “Back There”

There wasn’t much going on. Hugo and Zippy had taken a walk
where they ran into Sparky and Buster. Sparky was Kevin’s mother’s dog when she
was little and had been here longer than any of the other dogs in Kevin’s
family. She knew exactly what she was going to do when she saw his mother again
– jump up and give her lots of kisses on her face, like she loved to do back
there.

Sparky’s memory of a little girl growing into a young woman
was different to Buster’s, who knew a young mother of four working to make ends
meet. Zippy knew a slightly older lady, and Hugo remembered a laughing
grandmother who loved to tell stories and feed him scraps from the table. “My
grand-dog,” she called him. He loved that name and loved her almost as much as
he loved Kevin and Simon.

As they finished their walk, they found a particularly tall,
thick patch of grass to lie in. They had sort of settled into a routine by now.
Imaginating their favorite things from back there. Taking walks and checking in
on the other pets waiting for their person. Napping when they wanted. And lying
in the grass talking.

“Do you miss anything from back there?” Hugo asked Zippy.

“Well, Kevin of course,” Zippy chuckled as Hugo nodded in
agreement. “Let me think. I don’t know if ‘miss’ is the right word, though I
suppose I remember the realness of things and wish it was the same here. Conjuring
up a memory and making it as real as we can is comforting and fun. Helps us
stay connected and keep the memories fresh in our minds. And yet it’s not the
real thing, is it?”

Hugo liked how Zippy summarized what he was thinking. “That’s
exactly it. I imagine playing tug with Kevin or Kaydon but they’re not really here.
I have the feeling of lying by Simon while he takes a nap but it’s not him. It’s
the feeling of him. I can picture the Blanco River and chasing sticks but it’s
how I imagine it every time. There are no surprises. It’s not bad. Not bad at
all. And most of the time I don’t even think about it. There are these
occasions, though, when something felt particularly real and when I’m done, it’s
a bit of a disappointment, like waking up from a great dream.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. As real as it feels, it’s not.
It’s exactly how we want it to be every time. We’re not making new memories
with our people even though it’s still fun.”

Zippy paused as he collected his next thoughts. He’d been
here longer than Hugo, even though they didn’t think about things that way
often. He had seen enough reunions to know that things changed.

“It doesn’t bother me though, Hugo. Not anymore. I think of
the day that Kevin arrives. You and I, and maybe others then, who knows, rush
up to greet him. Then we head off towards the blue-orange sky and have the rest
of forever to make new memories with him. And who knows what it’s like over
there. Maybe it’s all new memories of anything you want.”

Hugo often thought about that moment of reunion. What Kevin
would be like. How he and Zippy would greet him. And who are these others Zippy
is talking about? He’d have to think about that. In any case, he hadn’t much
thought beyond the reunion, what it would be like when they walked up the path,
the grass growing back behind them as they walked away, growing smaller and
smaller.

He liked thinking about it now. When Sparky and his mother make that final walk up the path. When Simon, Driver and Kaydon do the same. When it comes his, Zippy’s and Kevin’s turn. Whatever is waiting on the other side, they’ll be going there together. New memories. It’ll feel real again. And he’ll spend the rest of forever with Kevin.