02 July 2015

pushed.

I've always loved returning to where I grew up in the bush outside of Bendigo, the kids get to throw sticks and rocks and run wild without me having to make sure they don't run on the road or tell them off. Plus I usually get to shoot some photos just for me, just for fun. But unfortunately the last 3 trips haven't been fruitful...

The pic above is of my youngest patting me to sleep in my creek bed. The creek was completely dry and I found the perfect grooves to nestle in and it was absolute bliss, I totally could've had a nap, literally two minutes later - cue crying, someone's got something in their eye and we have to go. We try again later then the other one gets something in his eye and screams the place down so we have to go.

Another day I do manage to get a photo done with them which was the media pic for a friend's theater production. I spot a couple of great locations and return the next day to shoot some stuff while the boys play.

We get out there and I'm dancing around forever and just can't get the right composition, it's not happening. The boys are throwing sticks into the creek and one of them accidentally throws my remote in as well. No pictures are going to be made today.

Another day we return to the dry creek bed yet again and I'm trying to make something out of a great location in the blazing midday sun, I wanted to get out there in the morning for the nice light but it takes some serious tantrums before my youngest agrees to get in the car... I do actually shoot some stuff and all I manage to get out of it is this;

Which I don't mind, it's got some grunt which is the kind of work I want to make more of. More grunt and grit, less pretty.

On the same day we return yet again to the forest where there's been controlled fires and the trees are regrowing and it's so beautiful, the black with the silver blue hues. LOVE. I dance around for a bit, pick my spot, take out my tripod aaaaaand - someone needs the toilet so we have to go.

Which brings us to today. It's my last bush trip before my op so I probably won't be back for a few months. And of course I have a million ideas I want to get out, especially as I won't be able to use my arms for a while, so the pressure is on. My youngest was up from the wee hours so we're all tired, it's a crazy wintery day but the sun breaks in the afternoon so out to the bush we go! The boys finally go into their own world and are happily playing a game they've made up, I've found a perch on a beautiful big rock jutting out of the land in the sunshine. Today I was starting small, my aim was to make two text based photos from some messages popping up in meditation. This was as far as I got as one of the kids managed to slip into the only puddle of water in the creek bed and get completely drenched on a 10c day! So we had to go.

My plan for this year was to do less paid more and more of my work as my ideas list is getting out of control, I just want to bunker down and MAKE. And somehow life is still insanely busy like last year, I'm forever rushing and I need it to STOP. There's so much to do before my surgery in 2 weeks - getting my paid work up to date, making sure onefourfour still runs while I'm out of action, cooking and baking my head off so I have a stash of vegan food ready for when I get home from hospital, making sure the kids are sorted, and OH LORDY does the house need a serious declutter and clean. Did I mention it's school holidays? Oh yea, and my arts practice. That need some attention too.

Anyhoo what is the point of this ramble? Is the universe putting up barriers to teach me something? To remind me how much I need my practice? Or do I just need some child free time?! I'm not really sure. I'm tired. I'll definitely be doing some serious planning while I'm sitting around recovering, I see it as a chance to evaluate how I've been existing and how I want to start living. Post surgery will see my practice go from the bottom to the top of the ladder that's for sure.

I've also been text-whinging while writing this. Apparently multitasking is bad so I better stop that too. Onwards and upwards my friends!! xx