Olivia's story

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Rainbow baby Lucas Oliver

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother.She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh andLife ain't always what you think it ought to be, noAin't even grey, but she buries her babyThe sharp knife of a short life, wellI've had, just enough time

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Monday, April 2, 2012

So, it seems Luke is turning 1 in 25ish days, despite my denial and trying not to think about it. My baby! One! How did it go by so stinking fast?

I emerged out from my denial to book a park (because hosting at my house when I'm chasing him around all day, then gone 4 nights a week, with finals and The Promise Walk coming up...is not happening. Plus our house isn't big enough, we don't have parking, etc. ) And last week I finally sucked it up and ordered invitations. And today I ordered a customized birthday shirt. So I guess this is happening. Which is a good thing, really, we've survived almost a year and he is healthy and happy, which is something I have tried not to take for granted, while also trying not to be a paranoid freak. (So what if he still sleeps with a breathing monitor!) But geez. One of my friends had a baby boy at the beginning of March, he was almost Luke's birth stats, and it's really hard to believe Luke was ever that small, even if I do have plenty of pictures and videos from it, oh, it has gone so fast.

We still aren't sleeping through the night, he wakes up once or twice usually. We are still nursing (though I really, really wish we weren't. He bites a lot now and can't stay still and kicks me and pinches my face and just makes it an annoying and often painful experience. I have a deep freezer full of freakin milk that is probably mostly going to get thrown out. I do offer him bottles and he will usually take an ounce or two, but he prefers nursing.) He will probably be walking any day now. He's taken a step here and there for a few weeks now but today took 3 steps in a row and is getting braver and braver. I'd actually like him to be walking by his birthday (so he can play on the toddler playground with minimal crawling) so this is fine. He claps his hands all the time. He loves reading books, especially damned Eric Carle and his "brown bear brown bear what do you see?" type books. (We have like 4 different ones that are basically the same, replace see with "hear", etc. and change animals.) I got them because I knew my two year olds when I worked in daycare loved them, but ugh. He likes the touch and feel books too and has usually figured out where to touch on his own. And this car thing we got him for Christmas plays an annoying song, but he claps his hands and dances and smiles HUGE when the song comes on, so that is worth hearing that song a million times a day. "Counting, counting, counting is such FUN! I can drive and learn to count, start with number ONE! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!"

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comments:

what a huge milestone. congrats. your description of him nursing makes me lol. i remember Julius started "biting" me when he began teething. he didn't have any teeth but it still hurt. so i can just imagine. :)

Oh it goes by soooo fast! Just wait, you'll blink and he will be turning 5 like my guy! I hope you can wean soon-that sounds terrible! Glad the birthday planning is going well, let me know if you need some help.

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What is a rainbow baby?

Rainbow baby is the term for a baby after the loss of a previous child.It is the understanding that a rainbow's beauty does not negate the ravages of the storm.When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean that the storm never happenedor that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath.What it means is that something beautiful and full of lighthas appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.

About Me

I am a former teacher, currently staying at home with our rainbow baby. Our daughter, Olivia Caetlyn, was born at 23w2d on September 28,2009 with a tiny cry and passed away shortly after her birth. (Due to HELLP syndrome, possible pre-eclampsia, and growth restriction.) Rainbow baby Lucas Oliver was born healthy in late April, after a stressful but overall healthy pregnancy. You can contact me at angiew901@msn.com.