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I am 23 years old. I just got married on February 16, 2013 and was featured on wetv Bridezilas. Ever since the show, my husband and I have been arguing. My husband feels that I am too busy on my phone and internet. He feels that ever since the show I do not spend time with him. He has been very insecure lately, and I know its because of all the attention that I am getting. He really needs to understand that I am a social butterfly, and I love attention. I really love him, and I do not want my fame to ruin our relationship. Can you help us save our marriage?

Save Our Marriage Advice:

You’ve given me enough info to help you and your husband stop arguing and start getting all the love and happiness you deserve. If you truly want to save your marriage, here is your guiding principle:

Stop doing what doesn’t work and start doing what does.

How do you know what doesn’t work?

Fortunately, you don’t have to be a mind reader, because your husband is telling you what doesn’t work for him. In the first six months of your marriage, your husband says that you’re too busy with your fans, and you’re not spending enough time with him.

You say that you are a social butterfly who loves attention from your Bridezilla fans, and this makes your husband insecure. You say that you really love your husband. Which relationship do you love more–the one with your husband or your fans? Why is it so important to answer that question in the beginning of any relationship?

Because great relationships don’t happen by chance. They are a choice. Because the choices you make at the start of a marriage, or any relationship, will make it grow or die. Love is much more than a feeling. Love is an action word. The actions you choose to take each day will feed love or starve it to death. Why?

What you focus on expands, according to a universal power law. This means you focus your attention on the relationships you want to nourish and grow. And you stop focusing your attention on the relationships you want to let wither and die.

Now that you understand this power law, how will you use the power of focusing your attention in your relationship with your new husband and your new fans?

Fame can’t ruin a marriage, but lack of focus can. It can make your partner insecure about the relationship for good reason.

Your husband started arguing with you because he clearly felt insecure and hurt that you’re paying more attention to your fans than to him. Unattended hurt turns to anger, which can turn to arguing that you’re experiencing in your marriage.

How do you break that unhealthy pattern?

If you want to save your marriage, you start giving your husband the gift of your time, attention and commitment to change the things that create problems between you.

If you continue paying more attention to your fans than your husband, you are on course to sabotage love and marriage. You can change course simply by changing your focus and by repairing the damage caused by making your partner feel overlooked. How?

It takes five positive interactions to make up for one negative interaction with your partner. That’s the relationship repair formula that was discovered by renowned researcher, Dr. John Gottman.

How do you use this news?

If you want to save your marriage, have some fun showing your husband in actions and words many times each day that you will focus your attention on him and make him feel loved and valued, instead of overlooked.

Your creative challenge is to balance your focus in ways that make your fans happy and help you and your husband–