The recent untimely and unfortunate suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have inspired me to share my thoughts on this.

Although I didn’t personally know Spade or Bourdain (but how well does one truly know anyone?), I have experienced suicide in my own life. My mother committed suicide at 40, when I was 20 years old, after a long struggle with alcohol and drug abuse. She committed suicide around the same age, and in the same general manner, as her mother did (my grandmother).

What inspired me to write this is a mixture of sadness, empathy, and genuine curiosity.

As someone who is constantly in pursuit of happiness, driven toward it after having such a tumultuous childhood (and even early adulthood, really), I’m dismayed when someone who apparently “has it all” decides to end their life.

Something around 100 billion people have ever been born. So the current population of Earth represents about 7% of the human beings that have ever walked the planet. And this is also the pinnacle of human civilization. For all of that to come together for a person just right is a huge present, and I’m saddened to see any of that thrown away.

The average person might look at a wealthy celebrity that commits suicide and think that if that celebrity can’t make it, how does a regular Joe Schmoe have any chance at all?

Well, I want to interject here and add a few of my thoughts to the broader conversation.

Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

This one should be obvious, but it continues to escape most people.

A celebrity perhaps controlling a lot of wealth does not necessarily correlate all that well to their overall well-being or sense of life satisfaction. I’ve done my best to cover this via discussions on Maslow’s Hierarchy and the hedonic treadmill, but it bears repeating.

Once you have your basics in life covered and paid for (shelter, food, security), most of the aspects of one’s life that will add happiness and satisfaction either don’t cost much or don’t have anything at all to do with money. Furthermore, getting to the point of having those basics covered doesn’t require much money in this modern age of abundance.

Mo’ money, mo’ problems. And when you’re a celebrity, any issues that an everyday person might have to deal with are magnified rather significantly. Fame and/or fortune are not really worthwhile aspirations in life, and the former will likely in reality cause a great deal of life dissatisfaction.

When people are shocked to see someone supposedly rich decide to kill themselves, they seem to be under the impression that money and happiness operate at a constant 1:1 ratio, where an increase in the former will result in an equal increase in the latter.

It’s almost as if people believe that a 100-fold increase in money will result in a 100-fold increase in happiness, but it’s just not true at all. If anything, the opposite tends to happen due to the expectations, workload, and stress that come with attaining and maintaining that 100-fold increase in wealth.

While Americans are just about as rich as they’ve ever been, on average, the US suicide rate increased 24% between 1999 and 2014, with 2014’s number coming in at the highest recorded rate in 28 years. Money and suicide, as far as I can tell, have little to do with one another, much in the same way that money and happiness have little to do with another.

Happiness Is A Moving Target (And It’s A Target Only You Can Aim For And Achieve)

But if money doesn’t buy happiness, what does?

Well, it’s a complicated question. There is no one-size-fits-all right answer for everyone.

But I will say this: happiness is a moving target.

What I mean by that is, happiness is not a destination that you somehow reach one day and then you’re done.

Happiness is an ongoing pursuit. It’s the joy you feel while striving toward your potential, as the ancient Greeks defined it.

The thing is, though, that potential differs from person to person. Moreover, the striving might look a whole lot different tomorrow than it does today. What worked yesterday might not work today or tomorrow. And what made us happy five years ago might make us miserable right now.

So you’re not only striving, but you’re also striving in, potentially, a different direction at least somewhat often. And I believe this really trips people up. It’s especially difficult if you’re not aware that you should be traveling in a different direction, or if you’re not aware of what direction you’re even traveling in right now.

The solution to this is to be constantly mindful, purposeful, and cognizant of where you are, who you are, why you’re doing what you’re doing, and whether or not it’s truly making you happy.

Furthermore, remember this is your target. It’s nobody else’s target.

Never rely on anyone else to make you happy.

I was guilty of this in my younger years – relying on a girlfriend or someone else in my life to make me happy and feel good.

It never worked. Plus, it created impossible expectations, which set up a situation that was sure for disappointment.

You must aim for that (moving) target. You must be constantly seeking happiness for yourself. Never make it someone else’s job to try to fulfill unrealistic expectations (making you happy), only to be disappointed when they inevitably let you down.

Don’t be dependent on someone else to create a life for you. Create your own life. Then surround yourself with people who complement and add value to your life.

Don’t Feel Trapped

I’ve shared stories about my mother’s suicide.

But I don’t think I’ve yet publicly talked about a suicide that happened much earlier, that also impacted me.

That was the suicide of Kurt Cobain.

I was a huge fan of Nirvana. And I was pretty devastated when Kurt killed himself. This devastation happened right around the time I was settling into a new home after being adopted by my aunt and uncle. So I wasn’t really in a great place myself. And then to see a celebrity that I thought “had it all” kill himself was profoundly sad to me.

It became a mission of mine to find out why this guy would have done something like this.

Some people just wrote it off to mental illness and drug addiction. And, sure, you can do that.

But I think there’s a bit more, or even a lot more, to it than that.

See, I think Kurt felt incredibly trapped by expectations. Expectations that he, people around him, and the world at large had placed on him. And this must have weighed on him with great force.

His suicide note included references to his lack of enjoyment of creating and listening to music, as well as the guilt he felt about this. The music became nothing more than a job to him (evidenced by the fact that he felt like he should have had a “punch-in time clock” before he walked onstage).

He could have, and probably should have, quit music and done something totally different.

Likewise, one wonders if Anthony Bourdain still had a real passion for creating shows, traveling for, writing about, and talking about food – something he had been doing for so many years already. The travel, for example, must have been grueling. Maybe he truly loved it once upon a time. But it’s useful to ponder whether it was out of pure love and passion that he continued to move along in that same direction.

Or was he doing it for the money and the expectations? Was he doing it because he had been doing it for so long and didn’t know what else to do? Did he stay on that path because it was the path that he was already on, relying on momentum to carry him forward without introspection? Did he continue because he was secretly unhappy inside, thinking that playing this part that everyone loved would make him happy?

Did he feel trapped?

We’ll never know. And I’m not trying to oversimplify matters.

But what I am saying is that we are guilty of entrapping ourselves.

We put ourselves in boxes. We get into a job, or a business, or a niche, or whatever… and then we just, well, stay there. For many years. Maybe our whole life. We get comfortable. Collect the money. And we don’t really think about whether or not we’re truly happy to continue doing it. We don’t ask ourselves why. We become almost like an avatar of ourselves. A caricature. And we lose a piece of who we really are.

There are no ongoing checks on one’s state of mind or happiness. No honest conversations with oneself, or someone else, about what we’re doing and whether or not it’s still the right path to take.

We sacrifice personal growth for the sake of continuation. We let momentum overrule introspection. We let ease and money talk us out of being challenged.

Well, I think that’s a huge mistake.

Sure, we might be skilled at whatever it is we’re doing. And maybe we can make good money at it. And continuing to do something is often much easier than doing something new. But none of those are good reasons to actually go and do something.

Don’t trap yourself. Don’t let money fool you. Don’t be afraid to let a lifetime die. Don’t shy away from the next great adventure in your life.

Indeed, I’ve been open about my own awareness that writing will not be something I do forever. I’m quite sure there will come a day when I wake up and I’m no longer enthusiastic about putting content together. And when that day comes, I’ll stop.

I’m glad the day hasn’t yet come. I’m as excited as I’ve ever been about putting content together. But I won’t do any of it simply because I’ve been doing it. Momentum doesn’t override joy or logic. I will only continue to write for as long as it’s a “hell yes” for me. And the same goes for any cause, work, or project I take on. The full-fledged passion must exist.

Dealing With Dark Days

I’ve had my fair share of really dark days.

Seeing my dad leave for the last time at eight years old, just after he promised to take me to karate lessons.

Waking up to find out my mother had stolen $80 from me overnight (so that she could afford to keep partying) – money I had saved up cutting grass, raking leaves, and shoveling snow in Detroit at 10 years old.

Being adopted, moved out of Detroit, and placed in a small town of only a few hundred people, at 11.

Losing Jennifer, my first love, in high school to a breakup.

Getting the phone call about my mom, in my junior year of college, exactly when I was struggling at school and thinking of dropping out.

Dropping out of college, feeling like a failure, and having no idea about my next step.

Seeing my bank account one day in my early 20s, realizing I had spent almost every penny of the small inheritance I had received upon turning 21.

Getting fired from my job during the Great Recession, finding no other work, and having debt and bills breathing down my neck.

Moving halfway across the country, from Michigan to Florida, to pursue a better path forward, not knowing a soul in the world or if it would all work out in Florida.

Many Mondays (and other days) where I was completely dismayed at having to wake up at the crack of dawn, get ready, and trot down to the car dealership for 11 grueling hours.

Being absolutely devastated to learn my two youngest sisters resented me for my success relative to them, in 2014. This was after moving back to Michigan to be closer to them. I ended communication with them after declining to financially assist them, and I haven’t spoken to them in four years.

Learning in late 2014 my adoptive parents, who I idolized almost like gods, were abusing certain people for years, making it impossible for us to continue having a relationship.

Watching Dividend Mantra, a blog I had spent almost five years of my life building into something special, fall apart in a rather quick and spectacular fashion.

Seeing my seven-year relationship with Claudia dissolving.

Moving away from the US, where I was born and raised, for Thailand in late 2017. Again, I didn’t know a soul in the world, and I certainly wasn’t sure if it would all work out. Saying I initially felt overwhelmed by the cultural differences and being completely alone halfway across the world would be an understatement.

I’ve had many challenges. Many days where I was really, really bummed out. And I’ve been disappointed by many people (including myself).

I hesitate to say I was outright suicidal at any given moment.

But I will admit that thoughts kind of race through your mind about whether or not it’s worth it to carry on. You feel this dark shadow, following you around. It’s hard to find the light in those moments.

What helped me through these days were four things:

I made sure to talk about how I was feeling. I would have a conversation with someone I trusted and loved, looking for reassurance that it’ll be okay. I had to vocalize. If I had kept these emotions bottled up, they would have destroyed me. I found it necessary to open up. Letting out a good cry has gotten me past some bummers.

I took the time for heartfelt introspection about where I was, how I felt, why I was there, and what next decision or path would make me feel the happiest. I admitted defeat or failure. And I did my best to learn from this. I asked myself how I got there, why I was there, and what I might do in the future to avoid a similar defeat.

I allocated as much time as I could toward the things, people, or activities that made me feel most joyous and alive. For example, even if (especially if) I was having the worst day in the world, I made sure to hit the gym, break a sweat, and let those feelings run through and out of me.

I kept my mind, as much as I could, focused on tomorrow. While it’s wonderful to be present and in the moment (under any other circumstances), I don’t really like to be present when the present totally sucks. So I visualized a brighter, better tomorrow. And knowing that the sun would rise the next day and I’d have an opportunity to see what that held in store for me, kept me going. Moreover, I used this conceptualization about a better and happier future version of myself to kind of catapult myself into an improved tomorrow. I looked at my darkest days as kind of “bottoming out”, acting as a coiled spring. I figured it couldn’t get much worse, so it must get a whole lot better. That coiled spring effect was rocket fuel for better days ahead, which was a catalyst I used to execute on point #2.

Through it all, I persevered. I pressed on. And now I’m financially independent in my 30s, living the life of my dreams in Thailand.

It’s absolutely, certainly, positively worth it to carry on and see what tomorrow holds.

But in order to move past these dark days and make the most of those tomorrows, we need to acknowledge failure/defeat – either on our part or on the part of others. We must recognize mistakes and learn from them. Most importantly, however, we have to move on. We cannot dwell on these issues. We can only admit something went wrong, do our best to not repeat these issues, and then become a better version of ourselves from the experience.

We have to see every setback as a short-term obstacle, not as an insurmountable and permanent barrier.

Our challenges do not define us. But our ability to persist does.

Conclusion

If you need help, you should seek it. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US) phone number is 1-800-273-8255.

This article was not meant to demystify suicide, nor am I at all minimizing the impacts of mental illness and addition problems (both of which I saw firsthand with my own mother) as they relate to suicide.

Rather, I simply wanted to take a moment to expound on how money doesn’t buy happiness, despite what a lot of people continue to believe. In fact, more money can lead to less happiness. And that’s especially true if/when we allow ourselves to become trapped by expectations and obligations that a previous version of ourselves may have been more than happy to oblige.

We change. We grow. We become different people. And it’s important to not only acknowledge this, but we also need to be constantly cognizant of how we feel as we go about our everyday routines.

Don’t be afraid of change. Don’t be afraid of failure.

Be afraid of being unhappy, because unhappiness can lead to tragic consequences.

And these concepts aren’t related just to what you do for a job/living. You should be mindful when it comes to all aspects of your life: your job, your relationships, where you live, etc. Everything. Nothing is off limits from scrutiny.

An object in motion stays in motion. We know this from Isaac Newton.

Don’t be that object that stays blindly and mindlessly in motion. Stay in motion because you’re cognizant of your direction and completely enthralled by it.

If/when that direction no longer makes you happy, after an honest conversation with yourself about your mental state, stop. It’s time for a new direction. A new lifetime.

We undertake physical checks all the time. But mental checks are not something we talk about or even look into.

Talk to people. Talk to yourself. Be honest about where you’re at. And remember there’s always tomorrow. Don’t think as if today’s problems will continue indefinitely, into a linear and unchanging future. Admit failure. Let those emotions out. Learn. And then move on.

Finally, if you’re not happy, it’s time to make a change. Now.

What do you think? Has a suicide ever shocked you? Do you ever feel trapped by expectations, money, momentum, or comfort?

P.S. If you’re interested in becoming financially independent, which can allow you to live just about any lifetime you want without financial repercussions or concerns, check out someamazing resources that I personally used on my way to becoming financially free at 33!

About Jason Fieber

Jason Fieber became financially free at 33 years old through a combination of hard work, frugal living, strategic entrepreneurship, intelligent investing, and geographic arbitrage. He currently lives his early retirement dream life in Thailand. Jason has authored two best-selling books: The Dividend Mantra Way and5 Steps To Retire In 5 Years (also available in paperback).

Reader Interactions

Comments

Jason – human life is so precious and so short…. It’s unfathomable that someone would end it on their own. Thank you for sharing your “Deep Thoughts” on yet another burning subject. Enjoy your life to the fullest!!!

It’s unfathomable and perfectly understandable at the same time. Depends on your perspective, genetic makeup, experiences, etc. Even the best people can find the weight of the world too much to bear from time to time. I’ve certainly had moments where it felt really tough to carry on.

But life is such a gift. An unlikely, incredible, and short-lived gift. I hate to see anyone waste it. Doing what I can to spread some help and hope. 🙂

I agree with Grettman. This might be your best post. I knew you’d had a rough go of it but reading it all written out like this makes me appreciate how far you’ve come. The part about your sisters seem especially sad to me. Anyway, enjoy the life you’ve made for yourself. You’ve clearly earned it. Gotta admit I’m jealous 🙂

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this. The FIRE blogosphere in particular, while educational and inspirational, can REALLY make you feel like a complete f-up sometimes, seeing how all these smart, disciplined people started making awesome decisions ten years ago while you (I) frittered away your earnings on shiny things and credit card debt can get a person down. Seeing how someone as optimistic and generally positive as you has dealt with serious, painful, normal life issues is a good reminder that we’re all on a journey, and the line isn’t always a straight upward curve. I pretty much never comment on blogs (and I read most of the FIRE blogs religiously), but had to comment here because I appreciated this post so much. Thanks again.

Really glad to hear that. I’m happy to know it impacted you in that way. 🙂

I’ve always tried to be the opposite of whatever that crowd is, or at least convey a different message/outlook. No college degree, no high-paying job, no head start out of the gate. My journey here was pretty challenging, which I think just goes to show the power of persistence. Regular people, even those who make a lot of mistakes and come from tough backgrounds, can get here. I know, because I did it. But if you let life beat you down, you’ll never rise up.

Love it! I always ask myself if I am happy. I evaluate what am I doing and change anything that brings me down or makes me unhappy. I do the same thing when I feel sad or a little down. I go to the gym to sweat it out.

I was saddened to read about Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade. Bourdain semmed to me like such a happy-go-lucky guy who lived an enviable lifestyle. I wonder if Bourdain harbored some guilt regarding his role in glamorizing the chef lifestyle, a few of his peers have recently been taken down in the #MeToo movement. His girlfriend was one of the key accusers. They may have been going through a breakup at the time of his suicide. He was dealing with issues that do not appear to be finance related.

Kate Spade may have been going through a divorce. Her situation might have a financial connection. She sold her company for around 100 million over a decade ago, her brand is now worth over 2 billion but she no longer has rights to her own name. Although she made what to most people would be a lot of money, it was only a small fraction of what could have been. After capital gains taxes, the financial crisis, and perhaps a pending divorce, that small fortune might have been diminished considerably. 25 million wouldn’t go very far in NYC, especially if your name is Kate Spade, everyone expects you to be super-rich. She was recently trying to build up a new brand since she sold the rights to her name.

I believe Bourdain wasn’t living true to who he was. He’s actually talked about who he really was. And it wasn’t the guy he portrayed. It’s sad when people feel like they have to be someone else to please others. They put on this dance for society. Money usually gets in the way, acting as the music to keep that dance going. That’s especially true for people who might appear to be wealthy.

As for Spade, her sister noted that she’s been dealing with mental illness for quite a while. The divorce was obviously a major issue for her, but that’s an example of letting a short-term obstacle become a permanent and insurmountable barrier. I’ve seen that kind of thing play out personally. It’s a real shame.

Well thought out & delivered message. From talking about your personal life experiences to what makes you tick, is often one’s best therapy for happiness, and I think you expressed it well here. No one is going to be happy 100% of the time, nor should you expect to be, otherwise there would be no challenges in life, nothing to get the juices flowing. My mother told us when we young, regardless of whatever our issue was that ” if that is your biggest problem, you are living a great life”. It always stuck with me, and she said it, and lived by that motto even when she was suffering with cancer. Another expression I lived by, and you referred to it, is life’s challenges and dreams are a moving target, but never let a challenge stop a dream. These are more than just words, it is a roadmap for life.

Right. Absolutely. Happiness is not a destination you reach. It’s constantly shifting around, which is reflective of how humans shift and change. I believe people too often approach life in a linear manner, when it’s actually quite dynamic. That’s why doing some job for 30+ years of your life, even if you once liked it, is just not going to work for almost everyone. And that circles back to almost every high-level concept I’ve been putting out there for the last 3-4 years. These unfortunate events allowed me to pull many of these ideas together into one piece.

Great post. You’ve overcome a lot of adversity to get where you are and live your life how you want to.
I’ve read that people who end up being successful despite having a bad childhood often had at least one person who was emotionally stable they could rely on. It might be interesting to think back and realize someone in your life is much more important that you thought.

I’ve had to overcome my fair share of challenges, but I always try to keep in mind that there are people who have had it way worse than I have. I’m so thankful I don’t have ALS, cancer, or any other kind of debilitating disease. And I’m (we’re) obviously blessed just to be alive. 🙂

That’s an interesting point there on having someone. I haven’t read that, but it obviously makes sense. As I noted, we need someone to rely on and talk to when those dark days arrive. I’ve found that to be critical. I think, for much of my life, that beacon of light was my aunt (my adoptive mother). And of all the challenges and tragedies I’ve overcome, finding out who she really was ended up being the hardest on me.

This is a well thought out, and excellently written article. Thank you for writing this as it is a timely one for me. I’ve personally known five people to cut their life’s short. The most recent was unfortunately a day before the news broke regarding Kate Spade. In each case, I can say with confidence it had nothing to do with money, and everything to do with how they reacted to difficult circumstances as well as their mental well-being at the time.

Your constant message of creating happiness, fulfillment and freedom in one’s life is what attracted me to your writing in the first place, and it holds more true for me today than most. I plan to incorporate the ideas you’ve shared above in the hopes it will get us through this dark time. Again, thank you for sharing your experiences and writing this post. Keep doing what you do so well Jason.

Sorry to hear about your experiences over there. Not fun at all to go through. But I do hope (and it sounds like) you’ll take away some real value, insight, and actionable ideas from what I’ve shared here. We’re all a little different. So not everything that worked for me will work for you (or anyone else). But I think a lot of this can be universally applied. It’s important to open up, admit what happened, grieve, focus on a brighter future, and then move toward that new tomorrow with an open heart.

I appreciate that. I’m keen to be thought of as a writer before/more than anything else. It means a lot to me to know that I’m still positively impacting people and putting together great content more than seven years on. 🙂

Hope you’re able to share it, especially with people you think might need it.

You’ve seen some dark days and with the history of losing both a mother and grandmother to suicide, you should take pride in the success you’ve found and the perspective you’ve gained, which you’ve stated so eloquently here in this post.

May you find many more happy days in Thailand or wherever the winds of change take you.

That’s really sad. Physicians are among the best of us. To spend all that time and money educating yourself and putting yourself in a great position to heal society, only to then throw it all away. That’s tragic.

Money definitely does not buy happiness, no matter how much the everyday person continues to believe it to be so. If anything, there’s a negative correlation between money and happiness once you get to a level of superfluousness.

Thanks for the support. I’m in a great spot in life. I’m truly, truly happy. But it’s only because I fought and persisted that I’m here. And we have to keep that attitude going, because those winds of change never stop blowing. We have to be mindful every day.

May you also continue pursuing the (winding) path that best suits you and brings you the most happiness. 🙂

I sometimes feel, as a physician, that expressing your sadness or discontent with the structure of your life is harder, because you “have it all”, respect, income… and the incredible stress that comes with the work load and some of the unavoidable adverse outcomes we experience. At the same time, the acknowledgement of our incredible privilege makes it hard to deal with negative emotions… I wonder if these same factors play a role in the lack of reaching out for celebrities who commit suicide despite “having it all”.

But I don’t think acknowledgement of privilege has to involve a heavy dose of self-loathing or blocking out negative (and healthy) feelings. You acknowledge, feel incredibly grateful, and then you get on to creating a life that’s happy – with or without the career you were doing yesterday.

Great post. I am in a slightly tough place right now with work, and this has given me a lot to think about. One minor nit-pick: the hell yes or no was originally from Derek Sivers, who has a great blog: https://sivers.org/hellyeah

Excellent piece, very thought provoking. You’ve come such a long
way from a really bad start.

I lost two young cousins this way too, one drank himself to death and the
other by hanging at a local hotel. The general underlying conclusion
I arrived at in both cases was societies obsession with measurement and
the pressures and resulting disappointment it produces. We seem to
spend our entire existence nowadays measuring ourselves versus other
people or having corporations we work for measure us against our
colleagues and ever shrinking deadlines. Measurement used to make a
great motivational tool but now it just seems to have gone too far and is
affecting daily mental health.

There will always exist in this world people far smarter or far more talented than
us and we have to be at peace with that, it’s just how life works and as you said the
people we look up to are evidently no happier than us anyway. Social media also
plays its part in this measurement mentality with it’s likes and follower counts, leading
in some to more mental anguish and feelings of inadequacy if they think they
don’t measure up to the popularity of their friends. I feel terrible for this generation
since I never grew up with this type of pressure, racing my BMX versus the
neighbors son was my only measurement in life and that was fun.

With all that said this was an amazing piece Jason, just don’t view it as your
Nevermind and I promise to never use it as a measure against your future posts.

These measurements that people are always looking at are needless, dumb, and harmful. The funny thing about it (as I noted) is, people almost never compare down. They only compare up. That only adds to the toxicity.

Money should free us. Unfortunately, many people, even those with plenty of it, continue to chase after more of it – usually to their detriment. This leads to a chain reaction that can ultimately end up in dire unhappiness. It’s really a shame.

Just doing what I can to show a different path, much like how I started to show a different path back in 2011 (the path away from a job and toward FIRE). 🙂

Hey Jason, great post, as always. So many things went through my head as I read your prose, from times gone by in my personal life (3 suicide attempts at a young age – obviously unsuccessful, thank the powers above) to one of my favorite songs, Just Be Held, by the group Casting Crowns where they say ‘your world’s not falling apart it’s falling into place’. For you personally, I hear the words of Mathew West when he was singing the song Family Tree.

I have had the pleasure of working with many high level celebrities, so I got a chance to see what it is like to be them for a day or two, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. It is not ‘normal’, and it takes a special person to be able to handle that kind of artificial environment, where it would be easy to lose sight of reality and become horrifyingly numb to almost any / all stimuli, not to mention the loss of faith and trust in ones fellow man.

Keep digging deep my friend. You are doing good work. You continually show that there are many types of dividends available. Some go in the bank account… some go in the book of life. I am so grateful that you shared those / your truths with the world.

Wow. Didn’t know about the troubles earlier on in your life. Glad you made it through, man. Life is too beautiful and short a gift to give up. And we’re all unique individuals, able to add something to this story of our species. We can’t let that opportunity pass us up.

Yeah, I would never want anything to do with being a celebrity. I’ve experienced a fraction of a fraction of that via just what little “fame” I have with all of the writing and everything I’ve done. When Dividend Mantra started to become kind of big in 2015, I found myself less and less interested in that, which is why I sought out someone to run it for me. I just wanted to write articles and have a conversation with people. If I wanted to be some kind of rockstar blogger, I could have gone that way. Just didn’t want it. Still don’t. I was actually invited to speak down in Ecuador at that retreat that MMM and the gang started. I ended up declining. I like my fairly quiet and anonymous life.

Appreciate all the support. I’m just fortunate that I have the opportunity, time, and freedom to dig deep. It’s a great pleasure of mine to share these philosophical and inspirational ideas with the world.

Definitely a discussion for another time. I have done a lot of work around those things that brought me there, and it helps me emphasize with those that are going through what seems like insurmountable challenges. As I have said to you many times, I see in you what I recognize in me, for I have been through my own version of that which has made you who you are and me who I am today. I have lived many lives in these 50 years, and always happy to share the experience and benefit of everything that has occurred. Perhaps next time we speak in real life, I can share more. At this point, it truly is just data, which is why I don’t really talk about it unless a subject like this comes up.

On another note, which I forgot to mention yesterday (another benefit of being 50 :P), is that I thought it was interesting that you (mis)quoted Tim Ferriss. He is actually quite open about his emotional challenges, and that he was despondent at one point in his life, having ‘suicidal depression.’ He also talks about what he does to stay humble / away from the trappings of his success / fame, and to keep him grounded and moving forward in a way that breeds contentment. I think he talks about a lot of that stuff in his interview with Marie Forleo, a jersey girl who is beyond real, and slowly becoming the Oprah of the internet.

My cards weren’t great. Could have been a lot worse, though. I’m actually grateful for it. I sincerely and deeply appreciate all that I have now. I probably wouldn’t have this perspective if it would have all come easy (or easier).

I agree with you on money being the forefront. That’s why I long ago moved away from money being almost the sole focus of my content/message. If money is all that drives you, you’ll likely find yourself hollow and unhappy.

Nobody tells the truth about suicides because the first guilty of that situation is society.

Nowadays people compete so hard to each other, the preassure on teenager to enter in a good university, to climb high in a job, to get better house, better stuff and when you lose in this race, it seems that you don’t have anything to live for.

The death of Cobain also affected me. I was in graduate school and went through some very hard times with my academic adviser and also broke up in a relationship. I started learning and playing a lot of Cobain’s music, and many people mentioned that my voice was very reminiscent of his.

Well I become more fixated on his suicide and fell into a depression of sorts. It was very powerful and the worst was the feeling of absolute apathy. I thought hard about going down the same path. Like I said it was an extremely dark period. I went to a counselor to talk about it and then a part of my mind woke up and let me know that I can work it out by myself.

Getting more fresh air, morning exercise and practicing gratitude pulled me out of it. Today I’m far away from that place. But it goes to show that our minds are extremely powerful and we are able to create habits, either way that influence what we think that leads to what we do.

Glad to hear I’m not the only one who was affected by that. I still listen to Nirvana regularly. He was very, very sensitive. I think it’s hard for extremely sensitive people to make it in this world. The world is kind of cruel, to be honest.

It’s great you made it through that period okay. I agree with you on habits. How you structure your life with daily and holistic habits (which is something I’ve written about extensively) matters a lot to your physical, mental, and financial health. The physical and financial aspects are easier to see and check up on, though. It’s the mental health side that people just seem to completely forget about. That’s wrong.

This is clearly the best post you have ever constructed. This has to be your – “I have a dream” moment. I believe I was originally drawn to your blog during your period where your own family seemed to be “un-supportive” of your increasing financial successes. I have not always agreed with all your thoughts or actions you have written about, but have to give you full credit for this. You rarely read something this moving. This article should be in a much more mainstream form for more eyes to see. I think it could help others that may be in a bad way. As someone who has never had a single thought to do self-harm no matter what has happened to, or around me, this really spells it out in a clear succinct fashion.

I always tell myself that no matter how bad something looks today, if you think back in time to how many of these moments occur in ones life, we always get through them. Looking back the worst things that happen to you, were never really that bad. In fact when you overcome the bad in your life, sometimes the path it puts you on enriches your future in ways you couldn’t have foreseen prior. I can’t fathom anyone contemplating suicide. There is too much good in the world that outweighs the bad, and you have to set your eyes on the good and move in that direction. Rip the band-aid off + move forward.

Thanks. Really appreciate that. I do hope everyone out there reading is able to share it and spread the message. My work has never been popular on social media (for whatever reason), meaning very little of my work is ever shared, but maybe this article will break the mold and see more eyeballs. I hope for that in a very non-selfish way. I just want people who are suffering to read, and see for themselves, that brighter days are ahead.

It’s hard for most people to understand choices that don’t jibe with their beliefs/viewpoints. We see this in almost every major divisive subject out there (money, religion, politics, etc.). One person can think an idea is perfectly reasonable, while someone else can’t even begin to wrap their minds around it. As for suicide, we’re talking something that operates at a much greater magnitude (because it’s literally life or death). I certainly don’t agree with suicide, but I can understand it (after seeing some brutally dark days myself). It’s with empathy and understanding that I attempt to show the light.

Just a suggestion, but why would you not try to grow your YouTube channel (pretty sad at the moment 🙂 ) if your thought is your not that popular on social media (but would like to be), what better way to have a chance to change that?

Have a look at Thailand Rob’s channel (20 seconds in Thailand) for high quality content and production from a small scale setup. However you could create a fusion of all your strengths. Your obvious financial knowledge, coupled with your heart and creativity, and your experiences in moving and living in Thailand. Makes for a pretty interesting channel possibility. You have everything you need already for content. You just need something akin to a Cannon GX7 Camera (for quality and stability) to Vlog with and a good Mic. Look at it as one form of media driving the other in synergy. You could do simple live interviews using “Hangouts” or eventually try a Superchat. It wouldn’t hurt to try, and your audience certainly knows you like to overcome challenges. 🙂

You will lose some privacy of course, and that at times does seem quite important to you from reading your material. Oddly it seems that there also seems to be an odd V-logger community out that way, both there and in the Philippines. Seems if you start to get increasing subs, some of the others attempting to make their channel popular will try to attack yours. It can be a very odd social space. So you have to consider that.

Ahh. We’re not on the same page. I meant spreading the written content on social media. YouTube is just one platform of many – and certainly not my favorite. I don’t really have a passion for doing vlogging, nor do I have the skill. I think this very article already explained why you shouldn’t be doing something just for money (which is what it would be if I were to spend a lot of time on vlogging). I’ve done some analysis videos, which are pretty neat. But the videos I put up on YouTube about living in CM were in response to a few emails I was getting when I first moved here. Some people wanted to see what days tend to look like. So I just put together a few days of video. That was it. I don’t plan on doing any more.

I know what you mean. Doing it for money defeats the purpose of leading a leisurely life without the worry of sustaining the lifestyle without the inadequate investment portfolio. You make this posting because you want to and not have to. The main purpose is to let the viewers know that happiness can be achieved by having simplicity in the wants and leading a minimalist lifestyle.

Join the discussion. Let's have a dialogue. Just please make sure comments are respectful and relevant. Cancel reply

Primary Sidebar

About Me

I'm Jason Fieber, Mr. Free At 33. I became financially free at 33 years old by working really hard, living well below my means, engaging in strategic entrepreneurship, intelligently investing, and using geographic arbitrage to my advantage. I currently live in Thailand, where I'm making my early retirement dreams come true. I write and coach so that I can help others make their early retirement dreams come true.

Search

Search this website

Archives

Archives

Categories

Categories

Footer

Disclaimer

I’m not a licensed professional of any kind. I’m not a financial advisor, tax professional, or doctor. This site should be viewed for entertainment purposes only. Before you invest any of your money, exercise, or undergo any financial, business, or personal changes at all, please consult an appropriate professional. Unless your investments are FDIC insured, they may decline in value. Any stock transactions and/or analyses I publish should not be considered to be investment recommendations. I am not liable for any losses or suffering experienced by any party.

Privacy Policy

This site does not attempt to collect any personal information whatsoever other than that which is freely shared publicly (through comments), or that which is collected automatically via servers and Google Analytics. I do not sell or voluntarily disclose anyone’s personal information to anyone.

Disclosure

This site is largely supported by way of advertisements. As such, third-party ads may be served up at any time, and I may be paid on your clicking of these ads or your giving of information to third-party representatives. I offer no guarantees as to the accuracy of these ads. These ads may not necessarily reflect or represent my opinions or viewpoints. In addition, I may also have affiliate partnerships with companies whereby I earn a commission if products and/or services are purchased after you click on a link from this site. I only set up affiliate relationships with companies who offer products and/or services that I personally believe in and/or personally use. If I don’t believe in a product and/or service, I don’t endorse it.

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognizing you when you return to our website and helping us to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

You can adjust all of your cookie settings by navigating the tabs on the left hand side.

Strictly Necessary Cookies

Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.

disable

If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.