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Pleasing Your Wife

If you were to go to a dinner party would you just plop down and start stuffing your face? I’m going to assume that as you are reading this you are shaking your head no. First you would let the hostess know how thankful and excited you are to be there. Apply these same rules when engaging in cunnilingus. Let your wife know that: 1.you enjoy going down on her just as much as she enjoys receiving it, 2. There is no rush. You would stay there all day if she would let you, 3. That you love her scent and taste. These three rules will help your wife let go of her inhibitions thus making it easier to focus on the wonderful sensations you are giving her.

Now if her scent and/or taste bother you there are some steps we can take to try and diminish that as much as possible. You could try to encourage her to shower or bath before hand, you could try using a flavored lubricant or you could always try using a dental dam. Glyde “LOLLYES” is highly recommended for oral use. They come scented, colored and transmit sensation very well. You can find them at sheerglydedams or blowfish. One last thing before we get started, learn how her body responds to different stimuli. When we are in the heat of things it’s hard for me to verbally tell him where to go or what to do. Well, unless you are in a verbal mood and then there is no problem telling him exactly what you want him to do. More often he can reads your groans, moans and breathing. You can even grab a hold of his head just to make sure he does not change a thing.

For all the women out there you too can make this experience more enjoyable for your man. Praise him. Let him know how much you love and crave the feel of his tongue on you. Make sure you keep yourself clean. If you are looking for more details on how to shave this area you may want to check out cumingirl’s “Pubic Shaving: for Women” thread. Another thing that you can do is “accidentally” graze his penis with your leg or whatever is readily available. You will most likely see a very positive reaction.

I strongly believe that variety is the spice of life. Try different techniques and see how she responds. You can be my guest to use this as a sort of guide. Be sure to create some sexual tension throughout the day. When you are ready to get started, make sure that you are both comfortable. He could be there for awhile and it would be a major bummer if you were at the edge of an orgasm and your husband suddenly developed a neck cramp. Have him start with some long, rhythmic ice cream licks. Then he can insert his finger or toy into your vagina while his focus starts to zone in on your clitoris. At this time what he does may varies. The one thing that is constant is that he should make you feel like you are the most delicious thing he has ever placed his lips on.

I’ll go over some various tongue techniques that are discussed in, “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner. A flat tongue technique allows you to grind into him and it allows him a breather without loosing your connection. Diagonal or horizontal strokes may be added in now. Make sure he goes over your clitoral head as he does this. Remember to do one or the other, don’t alternate one of this and one of that and really drag that tongue!! If you are getting tired revert back to the flat tongue technique until you are ready to go again. The “cat lick” is a series of short but precise licks all over the vulva. First avoiding the clitoris and then with more arousal comes more attention to the clitoris. “Follow the leader” lick is a nice different feel. Have your index finger follow the path of your tongue. Now for a biggie, “the suction cup”. He encloses his mouth over your entire clitoris and gently sucks while using his tongue at the same time. This is when most women do not want there husband to change a thing!!

Speaking of not changing a thing, if you are about to climax instruct him to not speed things up!!!! Just keep that steady pace and you will be sent over the edge. Here are some tell tale signs of an orgasm. The vagina may throb like a beating heart, muscles tighten (especially legs), breathing quickens, body may become flushed and you may start yelling out phrases you never thought you would hear come out of your mouth.

There are those rare occasion where an orgasm just is not in the cards. Those experiences are just as meaningful as the ones that do end with an orgasm or two. It still feels incredible and it fills your visual rolodex. One of the most giving, unselfish, loving things a husband can do is to perform cunnilingus on his wife. Remember that if one technique does not work on a given night it may work later down the road. Enjoy your journey and happy travels!!!!!

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my husband loves to take his time down there. its almost as if he knows when to do what and where. sometime he will insert his finger and massage me while he plays with his tongue. I also know he loves it because i shave down there.
I know i am really lucky that he does it often and i really enjoy recieving it .

It’s taken me along time to become more comfortable with my hubby doing this. He always enjoys it. I guess part of it is that I can never seem to orgasm this way. Is there sometthing wrong with me? Am I just stuck in a rut? Normally I can only O when I’m on top. Well, now that is not an option for me as I am 6 months pregnant and have doc’s orders for pelvic rest for 5 weeks! I have slight placenta previa and have to wait til the next ultrasound. Maybe this is a good opportunity, if he is willing, to be more creative and relax more with him. I actually just ordered my first vibrator today in hopes of that. What do you guys think?

I’d be careful if Dr ordered pelvic rest. Ask him first, before receiving to much stimulation! Winter, I use to feel the same way, that it was better to give than to receive. Then my husband told me how much he enjoyed giving. I really thought about it and thought maybe I’m being selfish. So I decided to take the plunge or(more like let him take it Ha-Ha) I don’t know what I was so self concious about I absolutly love it! Nothing is actually better than intercourse, but it sure is pleasurable, at least for us. You have to do only what your comfortable with, but for us we try to try things at least once or twice to give it a fair chance. Of course you’ll always have your favorites, but it’s also good to have variety.

Great! It all sounds great! Just be careful of aggressive vaginal penetration at this time. As an OB nurse, I understand the risks of Placenta Previa, but I have never experienced the frustration of restrictions. Some of the lack of orgasm during oral sex may be the stress of the position. Try the vibrator, either by yourself first (if that will make you feel less inhibited) or with the hubs. Either way, stay strong with doctors orders and I pray the rest of your pregnancy goes wonderfully 🙂

Thanks so much for the input. I was told that I could not have intercouse. I thought the vibrator would be a good alternative for me/us since we could control the penetration al lot more. Also, anal sex is always an option as we have been experimenting with it more. I’m so happy to have this group to come to with questions!

asianspice, I found this article on the web, vibrator in pregnancy, and it had me concerned. Christian Nymphos is a tremendous resource but it can’t replace the care of your dr. I would check with you dr first, only because of your condition.

In re-reading my post I realized that I probably didn’t clarify my thoughts/concerns. There are a lot of variables with your condition which are dependent on the specific placement of the placenta. I would strongly urge you to get a more detailed explanation of restrictions before you experiment with ANY kind of penetration. I guess I was thinking an external clitoral vibrator when I first read your post. Stay strong during these weeks; I’m still praying!

i’m very ticklish also, but the “suction cup” doesn’t tickle at all for me so my husband focuses on that kind of stimulation at first and we’ve really had a break through in being able to enjoy this. my experience has been that by doing it more, i’ve become less and less ticklish and he is able to do more of the other things now. you know the saying ‘try, try again’!

I was never nervous of the act itself but more over inundated with distracting thoughts…
“What if I smell”
“What if he’s only doing it because he thinks he HAS to”
“What if he’s bored”
“What if… What if… What if…”
Before you know it you’ve lost your orgasm.
It’s like our own minds are working against us!

Some steps I took to help this where I changed my routine to showering at night always without exception. (With young kids I didn’t want to wake up earlier than them in the morning anyway). This helped because then I knew I was fresh and wouldn’t have that thought haunting me. (My husband has picked up the habit also as he quickly realized that he got way more oral attention if he was fresh out of the shower).
I also started shaving whenever I thought we were going to ML. He seemed to like it and it helped get rid of more, “What if thoughts”. Anyway, those two things have pretty much cured me and our sex life is better than ever!

Yeah must be nice!! My husband used to do it when we were dating then after marriage he said that he was uncomfortable and would rather neither one of us do oral sex to each other…so i have been left out in the cold for 6 and a half years!! I took showers put nice scents on and everything but he is not interested!

My I have been married for 20 years and just recently had my first orgasm. I didn’t know that they were a normal thing that my body could do. I thought it was something that only about 1 in 1000 could have. I had always felt uncomfortable (because of my upbringing) about my DH going down on me, but my DH has always liked to go down on me. From our 1st time together he made me feel very comfortable though. If I was self-conscious he would say “it is you and I love all of you, even your smells and how you taste”. He would even go so far as to take out a tampon during my period for us to make love. But something that I have recently been told by a dear friend is that oral sex and our husband’s ability to bring us to orgasm is like breathing to them. It is a real need that they have that God put into them, like breathing. When I asked my DH about this he said that is very true. It has changed my whole view of cunnlingus. I was also convicted that I had only allowed by DH to breathe a few times in our marriage.

Thank you for the technique advice. My DH loves to go down on me, but I’ve never been a big fan because I would rarely be able to climax (maybe 3xs in 15 years!) and it would just get annoying or I would have to break out the vibrator.
Well, came home yesterday after church, and instead of taking our usual afternoon nap, we talked sex, and, of course all the sex talk got my DH going! So, I went in with an open mind, and while giving him OS I allowed him to go down on me and this time directed him on what I wanted him to do…..WOW!….we both had out of this world Os!!
I’ve always been so quiet and shy when it comes to being verbal during any kind of sex, but I’ve decided that that was not helping me at all!!
So, thank you for the encouragement and ideas in all of your articles. It’s been a very freeing experience for me =)