4.27.2011

Take your clothes off. The weather is getting warmer, stickier, sweatier. And after a trip across the world, Im back to revive humpday!

this list is a mix with no theme just songs that yell out to me "HUMP" so here you go

here are my pros thoughts on each song.1. this song is sexy2. not sure if i posted this before but this is classic- i once got busy in a burger king bathroom3. im fave new britney jam. I can be your treble baby,You can be my bass4. sure why not- in response to the title.5. the ulimate stripper song.6. another good song to strip to7. i like how the music sounds like a dripping faucet8. backseats arent roomy.9. i think this song may be growing on me.

ps if you didnt know, humpday (tm) is a wednesday series where i make/post a playlist for yall to hump to on humpday.

4.20.2011

I appreciate the overall message of this song. "F*ck ypu, I'm not doing sh*t today." But I coulda livved with out seeing Bruno Marz pull down his pants and to the pee pee flop dance. I really could've lived without that. Just saying.

So apparently Demi Moore was "taken advantage of when she was a teenager." So her and Ashton decided to make some spots using "real men" and telling us what "real men" do. In the end.....the same pay off, they "don't buy girls." Below are the best of the group. You can see the rest here.

For such a strong, compelling and necessary message, I think the light hearted-ness of these spots is inappropriate. They are very bud light-ish. But the outcome is not purchasing a twelve pack. It's fighting misogyny and sex trafficking. So unless those two share some common thread I dont know about....perhaps the approach should have been more thought out.

I must say though, the way Bradly Cooper ate his cereal.....that could only happen in a dream. A very very good dream.

So these two young ones decided to do a cover of Chris Browns "Look at me Now." I'm not giving you a link, cuase if you are alive, then you have heard the original atleast 85 times.

My opinion, you know...at first I was like. Why? But as the song goes on, the chic kinda kills it. Gotta love natural enthusiasm. There is a lesson for you....always"sell that sh*t." Eventually someone will like it. Look at FOX news (yep, I went there).

Get it? It's like 2 levels deep. But here's some real added value for this ad...alot men do not wash their hands after taking a piss. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen dudes just walk right out of the bathroom and I had to make a mental note not to ever touch their stuff. I cannot tell you how long the list is at my job. Because you know....holding your junk for 30 seconds requires no form of cleanliness after. The bugger execution is "eh".

4.07.2011

So read this on copyranter, and I didn't get it at first. I kid you not. But I walked away from my computer, came back red it again, and then laughed for like 5 minutes straight. I mean, it's an utterly ridiculous connection to make. Buns and Jesus Christ.

But the limited time Joke....come on, that's pretty good. You have to admit.

4.05.2011

Forget the images you’ve learned to attachTo words like cock and clit,Chest and breasts.Break those words openLike a paramedic cracking ribsTo pump blood through a failing heart.Push your hands inside.Get them messy.Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.Make up new words.Call it a click or a ditto.Call it the sound he makesWhen you brush your hand against it through his jeans,When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teethAnd every cell in his body is breathing.Make the arch of her back a languageName the hollows of each of her vertebraeWhen they catch pools of sweatLike rainwater in a row of paper cupsAlign your teeth with this alphabet of her spineSo every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skinDo not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patientEven though it’s highly likely that you are.Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurtIf you are being offered a bodyThat has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steelA sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodiesThat come with some assembly requiredWhatever you do,Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscapeBordered by rocky ridges of scar tissueLooks almost natural.

If she offers you breastboneAching to carve soft fruit from its branchesThough there may be more tissue in the lining of her braThan the flesh that rises to meet it, Let her ripen in your hands.Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,Diabetes,A car accident instead of an accident of geneticsWould you think of her as less a woman then?Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscleReaching toward you when you kiss himLike it wants to go deep enough inside youTo scratch his name on the bottom of your heartHold it as if it can-In your hand, in your mouthInside the nest of your pelvic bones.Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we areThey’re just oddly-shaped vessels for heartsAnd honestly, they can barely contain usWe strain at their seams with every breath we takeWe are all pulse and sweat,Tissue and nerve endingWe are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.Bodies have been learning each other forever.It’s what bodies do.They are grab bags of partsAnd half the fun is figuring outAll the different ways we can fit them together;All the different uses for hipbones and hands,Tongues and teeth;All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.But we could never forget how to use our heartsEven if we tried.That’s the important part.Don’t worry about the bodies.They’ve got this.