How Rihanna Taught Me To Say No To Nudity.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Sometimes, I ask myself, 'Why do I blog?'. I know I like to write and I LOVE to be heard. I know that I use it to hone my skills because I don't want to get rusty. I know it is also a way to stay active. But there just has to be something more, right? I think that most importantly, I blog because I want to take advantage of the fact that I have my own little corner on cyber space. So that in the midst of the incessant and mindless things going on on cyber space, I can come here to breathe. So that even though the younger and current generations are being told and taught that 'bad' is new cool, I can use my own little space for the greater good. So that, hopefully, when the generation of my unborn children open their laptops and fancy devices to go on the internet, I will be rest assured that it's not all garbage.

I had not put too much thought on the famous Rihanna's outfit to the CFDA fashion awards, because God knows I do not care. I don't care what celebrities do with their time. I don't care if someone is married for the third or thirtieth time. I don't care if some other people are constantly high on drugs. I don't. I may sometimes laugh at it and shake my head in pity and wonder why people are so deliberately reckless, but for the most part, I don't care. In fact, if it were up to me or if everybody was like me, celebs would be very broke people. Because I certainly can not give what many of them crave the most—Attention. I look at some headlines and news and blog posts and I think to myself "How, for goodness sake, does this concern us?" And then just immediately, I realize that some people live for those things. Some people constantly worry about what their favorite actress is wearing or who their favorite musician is dating. I digress.

Back to Rihanna's dress. I saw the dress and it confirmed my suspicions about her mental state and got it off my mind. But then again, I saw an article this evening that M shared on Facebook. The author titled it "On Rihanna Teaching Me To Say No To Modesty Culture." The title reminded me of some Instagram folks who upload pictures and caption it "Perfect is Boring". Say what? If perfect is boring, heck, I strongly desire to be boring then. Anyway, she explained—very coherently, I must add— that Rihanna used fashion as a buffer against the meanness of others. Should you get naked to prove a point? I wondered. You should not get naked to get back at bullies. No, you EXCEL. Nothing beats excellence. Getting nude as a result of self confidence is either a type of sick joke or a paradox or something only Rihanna can claim to be doing. Let's stick with the latter.

Now, let's put that aside. She said modesty is a ruse and that women are led to believe that their bodies are meant for men. She said that women are made to believe that modesty protects us and promotes the idea that women do not own their bodies. In a nutshell, her point was that women should not be dressing for men but for ourselves. Which led me to my next question. Could she (the blogger) honestly tell me that Rihanna stepped out in that dress with the sole aim of preaching self-confidence and feminism? Could she explicitly say Rihanna was not desperately trying to seek attention? The type of attention, which if you ask me is absolutely absurd even for Rihanna. The blogger stated that teenagers are held to very high standards when it comes to dressing, especially at school and are expected to be very modest. She said it was wrong to make females feel ashamed that men are turned on by them. You see that is the problem, teenagers do not dress in scandalous outfit because they are feminists or because they are confident in their bodies. It is in fact the exact opposite. They deal with self esteem issues and find solace in that men are taken aback by their nudity. Teenagers use their bodies as objects. Men do not objectify women as much as we do ourselves. We have believed, somehow that our bodies are weapons. That is the same reason that even though a girl is fully aware that her crush does NOT like her, she still goes ahead to have sex with him. Because she has spent a substantial amount of time convincing herself that somehow, her body and sexual prowess may be enough reasons for him to change his mind. No, not just teenage girls, even adult women convince themselves that their cleavages can help them get a man. Yes, some perverts objectify women but what is even worse, is women objectifying themselves. Oh, I'm sorry but if your social media name is "My ass is badder than yours." or "sexybooties" or any of those crude names I can't think of right now, don't go around complaining that men only identify you with your physical attributes and endowments and nothing more. Scream until your face turns blue but that is the perception you and only you gave. So, no nudity does not mean you are confident or sexy. Unfortunately, it means the opposite.

Honestly, I understand that male entitlement exists. I sometimes hate that people only suggest modesty in women because of men. It's unfortunate that a woman is expected to make choices on what to wear for fear of being violated by a man. Actually, I also hate that men have been reduced to dogs who have no self control whatsoever. It's also this type of disgust I feel when women get into marriages expecting that the poor husband is definitely going to cheat. So, I am not saying to dress modestly to avoid being raped. Dress modestly, because it is your choice to do so. Because you understand that even though, God has blessed you with those beautiful physical attributes, you are MUCH MORE than that. There is more to you than uploading or sending tasteless nude pictures of yourself. Yes, you have been very physically blessed, but there is so much more going on for you than a big behind. Dress tastefully because you are very intelligent and insightful and will refuse to be known for just having a bangin' body. The truth is I think that rapists have a sort of mental problem that clothes can't solve. So, for the most part, this is not about them or any other person. It's about you and what you decide to represent. It's about respecting yourself enough to realize that the rest of the world has no business knowing what your breasts look like.