Step 1: Steal lobsterStep 2: Put lobster in my ass.Step 3: Return lobster to tank.Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

A few years ago a truckload of live lobster spilled on a Massachusetts highway. Authorities practically tripped overthemselves rushing to condemn the load and chase down anybody who tried to distribute it. A small town health inspector doesn't have anything better to do than make sure poor people don't get any lobster (allegedly some was used to feed the Poor, although also allegedly some was sold for $3 per pound in a parking lot). Felony charges followed but nobody served any time. Some surviving lobsters were released into Boston Harbor, because the touch of polluted seawater has some legal rejuvenating effect turning contaminated food back into food.

Ghastly:Step 1: Steal lobsterStep 2: Put lobster in my ass.Step 3: Return lobster to tank.Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

I've been sticking $30 in lobster up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 6 lobsters a day; 42 lobsters a week; 2190 lobsters a year! To date that's 24,090 lobsters, 8 times the population of Captain D's warehouse. That lobster was in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You nibble my ass seafood everyday. You order my ass lobster for good fortune. You split my ass lobsters with your wife and wish for more. You give my ass lobsters to your little daughter on her 9th birthday as a treat.

Ghastly:Step 1: Steal lobsterStep 2: Put lobster in my ass.Step 3: Return lobster to tank.Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

GhastlySnarcoleptic_Hoosier:Ghastly: Step 1: Steal lobsterStep 2: Put lobster in my ass.Step 3: Return lobster to tank.Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

I've been sticking $30 in lobster up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 6 lobsters a day; 42 lobsters a week; 2190 lobsters a year! To date that's 24,090 lobsters, 8 times the population of Captain D's warehouse. That lobster was in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You nibble my ass seafood everyday. You order my ass lobster for good fortune. You split my ass lobsters with your wife and wish for more. You give my ass lobsters to your little daughter on her 9th birthday as a treat.

Do you take the little rubber bands off the lobsters before you shove them up your ass or do you keep them on?

I would consider the stolen lobster as livestock. But since it left the control of the restaurant they cold not assure that it had not been adulterated in some way. Ya never know. The prevert might have stuck it up his ass.

InternetSecurityGuard:I would consider the stolen lobster as livestock. But since it left the control of the restaurant they cold not assure that it had not been adulterated in some way. Ya never know. The prevert might have stuck it up his ass.

Yeah. I'm not a big stickler for food safety, but given the choice I think I'll take the lobster that hasn't been in the unsupervised possession of the homeless crack addict for half an hour, thanks.

What I came to say. I thought all their lobsters were frozen. Unless they just have an aquarium in the lobby for decorative purposes.

Haven't been to a Red Lobster in like 20 years, but I do remember them having a tank. However, I'd probably side with you on it being decorative. Lets face it, they sell A LOT of lobster. For cheap. I assume the stuff on your plate was, indeed, frozen and shipped from corporate.

Ghastly:Step 1: Steal lobsterStep 2: Put lobster in my ass.Step 3: Return lobster to tank.Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

Ghastly:Step 1: Steal lobsterStep 2: Put lobster in my ass.Step 3: Return lobster to tank.Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

downstairs:buckler: one of Ripley's Bad Guys: Red Lobster has live lobsters?

/serious

What I came to say. I thought all their lobsters were frozen. Unless they just have an aquarium in the lobby for decorative purposes.

Haven't been to a Red Lobster in like 20 years, but I do remember them having a tank. However, I'd probably side with you on it being decorative. Lets face it, they sell A LOT of lobster. For cheap. I assume the stuff on your plate was, indeed, frozen and shipped from corporate.

You used to be able to actually pick a lobster out of the tank but the price is per pound at whatever insane number they have assigned as "market price". I don't know if they still do that, if you're just going to order a boiled lobster I don't know why you wouldn't hit up a market and throw one in a pot. Aside from clams I don't know of any live animal that is easier to prepare than lobster.