WWF SmackDown!

22.3.1

BLAH

I GET LETTERS:
From SpectrumMan2001: crz,

WOW, scintillating RAW last night.
Multiple run-ins.
Short matches.
Two title changes(hey, how WCW-like of them. where's the respect for the damn
titles?)
And the boring blather of the McMahons.
And oh, the boring bleating of the Rock.
And Stone Cold drinking beer.
And oh, that big lumbering doofus, the (still) Big Show. (Who's more
horrible, Big Show or Rick Steiner?)
And oh, Jericho peeing into Regal's cup. (Is Russo back in WWF? And what was
more stupid, Jericho peeing or Flair kissing a donkey's ass?) Were you
digging that shit?

How do you blindly accept this shit from them and offer no criticism? You get
criticized for being anti-WCW. (And before you rip into me for being a WCW
mark, I will tell you I'm a mark for certain wrestlers, not a particular
organization.) Well, can you blame anybody? You show no objectivity when it
comes to your reporting. Your biases render you ineffective.
Can you honestly say you would take anything on RAW last night over say, the
Jason Jett/Disqo match or Helms/Kidman? And speaking of Helms, I know people
are mocking how he sounded on his promo last night. Well, at least he sounded
real and sincere, unlike the phony, overly slick ramblings of Rock.

RAW last night committed so many sins you used to bludgeon WCW for, and yet
you mindlessly lapped it up.

Shame on you, CRZ.

Thank God my biases rendering me ineffective won't matter in a week when
there's only one game in town!

Two quickies in response:

1. Going from "absence of criticism" to "lapping it up" seems like a
stretch - at least, to me... In the same manner, not offering lavish
praise of something shouldn't necessarily be construed as HATRED of
something - something else people have mistakenly attritbuted to me as
well.

2. When I think back to Monday's RAW, I remember Rhino debuting, Spike
Dudley debuting, the tag team titles changing hands twice and Rock finally
getting one back on Austin. Taking these as "positive" memories, it's a
lot easier to let the "negative" memories slide when there's something to
balance it out. The problem I've usually had with Nitro is there's been
damn little to take out of the show as "positive."

By the way, I *am* biased. Just not for the reason's YOU'RE talking
about...(figure that out, heh)

KINGS UPDATE:
FIRST place! 46-21, 1.5 ahead of the Lakers. Perhaps it
isn't as impressive that we defeated the Sixers when they're now losing to
EVERYBODOY but Joe asked me to remind you of it anyway, so yeah! We went
to their house and BEAT them! SO THERE!

Wow, did I fall asleep again? I'm really behind now...

UPN Thursday!

One World TV-PG Leader Attitude - WWF!

Opening Credits - Close Captioned

LIGHT THE PYRO it's go time! Coming to you from the Providence Civic
Center in Providence, RI 21.3.1 (taped 19.3) and Trasmitido En Espanol on
the United Paramount Network, THIS is WWF SmackDown!

WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: CHRIS
THURSDAY JERICHO (with Let us Take You
Back to RAW) v. CAW CAW CAW (with Heat hype - Raven
hosts!) - this match,
we are told, is a "reward" for Jericho's actions of Monday night which, as
indicated by my email, really pissed some of you off. (I made a pun!
Alert the media!) Tonight, Triple H and the Big Show take on the Fun
Brothers! Gutshot by Raven, right by Jericho, right, right, Raven never
gets to use his lid - tossing it but missing. Raven right, right, lid
swing DOES land, whip is reversed, hiptoss by Jericho onto a trash can!
Right hand, whip is reversed, Raven holds on and pulls him into a knee in
the gut. On the apron, has a trash can, but Raven hits a springboard
dropkick to the can - Raven lands in his shopping cart! Jericho takes him
for a ride...and over the barricade we go. Double Feature of the trashcan
dropkick. Raven and Jericho underneath the bleachers and through the doors
(after disrupting some noisy metallic things). Jericho runs Raven across
the catering table. Mop to the face! And here we go to the ...
commissioner's office? Raven swings a pipe, but only manages to break
Regal's bust of...whoever that was. Jericho puts Raven on the desk,
removes the picture of the queen mother - "sorry, ma'am" - and breaks it
over Raven's head. Raven's head run into Regal's tray of pastries - "eat
some crumpets, lad!" And now Regal has returned to his office - hot coffee
in the fact, vase of flowers broken on the head and Jericho's down. Raven,
blinded by confectionaries, swings the tray - and clocks *Regal*. Cover of
Regal - 1, 2, 3!! (2:27) Raven runs off.

TONIGHT: FACE TO
FACE It's an exclusive interview - but will Austin
and
Rock be able to sit down? AND, will they manage to get the crowd to stop
booing Rock...or will they roll with it? We'll find out later!

"Don't Try This At Home" PSA

"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" ad

Moments Ago, four paragraphs ago

We return to the remains of Regal's office - JONATHAN COACHMAN catches up
and asks if Regal is okay - he says he will be, but as for Raven, he's just
been booked for WrestleMania against Kane AND the Big Show. Well NOW we
know what they're gonna do with those guys!

Here's a Special Video Look at Shane and Vince. Golly, at this rate I'll
be caught up in NO time!

The Helmsleys react to what they've just seen on the monitor. Talk turns
to Undertaker and Kane - Stephanie hopes her husband and the Show rip them
apart tonight, reminding us how she was held over Kane's head Monday (I
guess I imagined her mouth moving since everybody thinks it was a
mannequin) and THAT reminds Triple H that he's got some business to take
care of...

Lita and the Hardyz eat ravioli!

TONIGHT: FACE TO
FACE
- for the second time in the second hype graphic, we
get a clip of Austin giving Rock the Stunner

TONIGHT: Big
Show & Triple H vs. Undertaker & Kane!

Triple H and Big Show have a chat out of mic range

GRAND MASTER SEXAY & MR. PARTY TIME &
K-KWIK (with WWF: The Music [Volume
5] CD cover & SmackDown! is brought to you by Stacker 2, Wacko Tobacco and
Chef Boyardee!) v. X-PAC & JUSTIN CREDIBLE & YAHHHHHHLBERT (with Let Us
Take You Back to RAW) -
Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Blackman
and Credible start - or should I say Blackman starts - kick, right, chop,
right, backhand, whip is reversed, Blackman rolls under, catches the kick,
leg sweep takedown. Elbow misses, Credible off the ropes, Blackman with a
reverse kick. Belly-to-belly. Albert gets some free shots - X-Pac decides
to hop off the apron to avoid his. Credible's head to Kwik's boot, kick,
tag to Kwik. Right, right, into the ropes, reversed, clothesline ducked,
flying head scissors by Kwik, too bad he's busy doing the splits 'cause he
just tagged out. X-Pac is in, Sexay is tagged, Sexay and Kwik are too busy
dancing - 'Pac, hands on hips, waits it out, gutshot, side headlock on
Sexay, powered out into the ropes, shoulderblock (hey! Like they do on
WOW!) Up and over, dueling hiptosses, gutshot by 'Pac, flippy flippy,
Sexay's gutshot caught, but not the enzuigiri - head run into Credible's,
free shot for Albert. 'Pac's corner is empty but he waits for Albert. Big
headbutt for Albert. Whip into the corner, yaaaaaahvalance misses! Sexay
on the second rope - X-Pac runs the apron, Sexay kicks him away - Albert
with a bicycle kick to take Sexay off the corner to the floor! Kwik and
Blackman in, but all they do is distract referee "Blind" Teddy Long long
enough to allow Credible and X-Pac to make a wish with Sexay and the
ringpost. Sexay put back in - Albert picks him up and drops him in an
atomic drop using the mat instead of his knee. Tag to Credible, a few
rights, tag to Pac, into the ropes, duck, Sexay with a double clothesline!
Tag to Kwik! Blck, right for 'Pac, same for Credible, free shot for
Albert, Credible into the ropes, Cole says "charismatic," flying jalapeno
with a spin! Albert in and presses Kwik - Blackman in, legsweep brings the
pile crashing down. Double clothesline puts Albert on the floor, but he
pulls Blackman out after him. Meanwhile, it's a gutshot X Factor on Kwik
and 'Pac puts Credible on top - Sexay's got the goggles, though - hip hop
drop on Credible! Here's the cover! 1, 'Pac breaks it up. Right, right,
Sexay right, right, right, 'Pac dumps the clotheslinen attempt and puts him
on the floor. Kwik put in the corner, up and over, superfluous backflip,
splits out of the clothesline from X-Pac - but eats the double superkick
from X-Pac AND Credible. Hey, guess who gets the pin - his name starts
with "X." (4:13)

The Undertaker is WALKING! Whoa, Triple H from behind with the Pearl
Harbour! "Dead Man...good to see ya!" How'd H know where he was gonna be
walking? Wow! Taker, realising this is a TV-PG show, does a lot of
half-swearing. "Oh, sh..... son of a....." and so on.

The stupid way to burn fat is to insult Kane's karaoke performance. The
*smart* way is to use Stacker 2!

Another stupid way to burn fat is to make light of Kane's mental
incompetence. Why, theseStacker 2 ads are FUNNY! (the first time I see
them)

Saturday is FAN APPRECIATION DAY! That's right, they'll appreciate EVERY
fan that actually bothers to show up to watch the Demons take on the Maniax!

Moments Ago, Triple H ran the Taker into a fusebox.

Coming back, Taker's caught up to Triple H - H backs up to wherever I'm
sure Big Show is...no, wait, it's a cadre of policemen ready to enforce the
TRO against Stephanie since he's moved closer than twenty-five feet. "Hey
hey hey - I know what my rights are, and I waive all of them. Come on.
You know, I bet if that was a donut you could get it on there. I want you
all to enjoy this - you are? I violated the law, I'm gonna violate more
than that. Hey, Steph why don't you tell me something? Why don't you tell
me what it's like to be married to a man who doesn't have a set?" Taker
promises that the plate of bacon won't be there to protet him at
WrestleMania. Stephanie says she's not sure she wants to press the charges
- they ask them to sit him down while they make up their minds...

TONIGHT: FACE TO
FACE
- we get to the clip of the Rock Bottom on Austin for
*this* graphic

Coachman asks Regal what will happen to the main event if Undertaker is
unable to compete. Regal says it'll have to be a handicap match.

Meanwhile, JR asks Austin if he's able to chill out during the sitdown.
Austin says he'll be fine, but what about the champ?

WWF Axxess ad

The unsponsored Countdown to WrestleMania is on! It's only TEN days away!

Rock catches up to JR and asks what the environment is gonna be - Ross says
we're just gonna talk about WrestleMania. Rock: "Talk.....maybe."

Our hosts react.

"The Road to WrestleMania" weekly video - this show may be a recapper's
dream, but so far it's been pretty light on content...

Certainly notwithstanding the recent physicality involving both you
two gentlemen, I want to thank you for taking time out of your schedule to
be here and thank you in advance for your professionalism during this
interview. We're here to talk about WrestleMania. We're here to talk
about the Rock defending the WWF title against Stone Cold Steve Austin in
the Reliant Astrodome on Sunday, April the first, but before we do, Rock,
you have a heck of a tall order ahead of you because you're in a handicap
match against two men, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, as ordered by
Commissioner Regal. Now Steve, I don't know how much stroke I have with
the commissioner these days, but would you be willing to step up and be the
Rock's tag team partner tonight--

Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jim. You don't have to ask Stone Cold that; you
should ask me that. I don't need a partner, I don't want a partner. And
at this point in time, he'd be the last guy I'd ever want as a tag team
partner.

Austin: You gonna answer all my questions? Did you ask me the question?

Yes, I did.

You gonna answer all my questions?

Well, perhaps I should have asked the Rock the question, so
obviously it wasn't a good question, and that's my responsibility. Uh...
WrestleMania, April first - without a doubt, this is the most eagerly
anticipated main event in WrestleMania history. This certainly could be
the biggest WrestleMania in World Wrestling Federation as well. What does,
Rock, the WWF Championship, as a professional, what does it mean to you -
being the WWF Champion, what does that title mean to you?

Well, being the WWF Champion solidifies the fact that you are at the
mountaintop, solidifies the fact that you've grabbed that brass ring. It's
something I've worked very hard for my entire life, because I grew up in
this industry - that's the reason I'm here in the WWF - so being the WWF
Champion solidifes the fact that I'm the absolute best.

Steve, on SmackDown! last week you spoke of this hellacious journey
personally for you back. Have you changed your thoughts about what this
match means in the last seven days since we've talked about it?

No, I haven't changed a damn thing about what I thought. It means Stone
Cold Steve Austin is back; we can stop talking about it - the journey's
over. It's Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. the Rock for the World Wrestling
Federation title - that's what it is.

It certainly seems to me, and certainly not degrading the WWF
title, because that's it - anybody that passes through the doors of the
WWF, as you have said, Steve, should be here for one thing and one thing
only and that's to become the WWF Champion - but, it seems to me that
thanks to Mr. McMahon assigning Stone Cold's wife Debra as the Rock's
manager, that that has heightened, to me, the personal animosity, the
peresonal issue between the two of you.

Well, it's heightened a lot of things - it's heightened the animosity,
professional as well as personal. The fact of the matter is this: is I
never asked for Debra to be my manager, never wanted Debra to be my
manager, and I'll go on the record as saying I have no problem personally -
or professionally for that matter, but the fact of the matter is she's not
my responsibility. She's not my wife - she's your wife

Austin: Let me go on record as sayin' that I don't like the fact that my
wife is your manager, because there's a conflict of interest there. Ah, if
she's supposed to be your manager and I'm wrestling you for the World
Wrestling Federation championship at WrestleMania, that's a problem.
That's a big problem. But I, I expect that my wife should have a career,
and - and - all - more power to her. I'm gettin' a little worked up here,
and I'll just try to settle down, and I'll tell you right now I don't like
the tone of your voice when you mention my name, or my wife. You might
wanna take a little bass out of your voice.

Well, I might not.

Let me go and cut you off here, let's just go ahead and take Debra out of
this equation - bam, she's a nonfactor. The fact is, Rock, you've got the
WWF title and I want it. Can we change the scenario? No. So don't even
worry about that. Just don't even go there. You've got what I want -
enough said about that.

What are you - people are wondering, this animosity - do you hate
each other? Personally, what do you think of this man? He is the
champion. Personally, as a human being?

Personally, what do I think about the Rock?

Right.

He's probably a wonderful human being and a credit to the human race in a
lot of people's views. In my opinion, I could care less about the Rock.
Personally.

Your thoughts on Stone Cold as a human being, Rock? I know
you're...

You know, it's - it's - it's - it's no mystery. There's no mystery how I
feel about Stone Cold, there's no mystery about how Stone Cold feels about
the Rock. We've gone good to bad, bad to good, we've done it all across
the whole spectrum, but the fact of the matter is this, professionally,
I've EARNED his respect, professionally, he's earned mine but when we get
in that ring together, he brings out the best in the Rock. The Rock brings
out the best in Stone Cold, no question. Personally? (pause) Personally,
I don't like him.

I don't think we need to let this...de - degenerate--

Austin: I'm tryin' to be a pro over here, right?

I, I hope--

That ain't gonna be lastin' much longer (beep) if you keep sassin' me.

Well, let's, let's focus back on WrestleMania--

How come you never asked what the belt meant to me?

All right, good question.

You said, what's it like to be back at WrestleMania, ask me what the belt
meant to me

What does that - okay, what does the WWF--

I'll paraphrase everything he said, it means I'm the number one (beep) in
the industry, bottom line. That's my opinion what the belt means to me, I
just thought you should ask me the question, too. You're little one sided
here if you ask me.

All right, well I'll ask you another question if you don't mind.
And that questoin is, as the challenger, uh the onus is gonna be on you in
the Astrodome at WrestleMania because we're looking at one fall, sixty
minute time limit, he's the WWF Champion, he doesn't have to beat you but
you damn sure gotta beat him. Strategically, does that change game plans,
mind set, or is it still full speed ahead?

It's full speed ahead because when I get in the with the Rock in the
Astrodome, 65,000 screaming fans, watching every single move that happens
in that ring - yeah, I gotta beat that man. I've never wrestled an hour in
my life, but if that's what it takes, that's exactly what I'll do. My
strategy is to go in there and do whatever it takes to beat the Rock - 1,
2, 3 - and become World Wrestling Federation champion.

Revealing my hand and my strategy? The fact of the matter is this: is that
you brought up a very good point, Jim Ross, is that - is that the Rock
doesn't have to beat Stone Cold, Stone Cold has to beat the Rock, but as
far as I'm concerned, the belt is dangling, and we're both goin' for it.
So I got one reason, and one reason only to go inside that ring, and that
is to beat Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's just that simple. What, I'm just
gonna go in there and back off, just because I'm the champion?

Austin: I'm glad you said that, because I don't want you to be on defense
the whole match. I appreciate the fact that you wanna beat Stone Cold as
much as I NEED to beat you. 'cause I don't want you on defense all night
long. I appreciate the fact that you wanna whip my (beep) - it ain't gonna
happen, but I appreciate your mentality.

Rock: Oh, well I'm glad you appreciate my mentality - I'm glad you
appreciate the fact that I wanna whip your (beep) so much. We'll see how
much you appreciate it on April 1st, see how much you appreciate it then.

Austin: You know what, you got that little T-shirt that says "just bring
it" on the front of it. Well, that night when you're looking up at the
lights and that little T-shirt says "Just bring it?" You will know that
Stone Cold just brought of it.

Rock: Yeah? Well you've got your little T-shirt, too - Austin 3:16.
"Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your (beep)." Right? Well I say just
bring it, you say I just whipped your (beep). So on April 1st why don't
you try just come try and kick the Rock's (beep).

Obviously, the emotion, and I understand the emotion because of
what's at stake - what's at stake is the WWF title at Wrestlemania, but in
closing this interview, and again I appreciate your professionalism, I know
it's not easy, any closing remarks Rock, as the champion, to the
challenger?

Yeah, we - we can talk about one fall, two falls, sixty minutes, sixty
days, talk about Debra being my manager, whose responsibility it is, it's
his wife, it's this that's happening - it doesn't matter. The only thing
that matters is April 1st, WrestleMania 17, the biggest of all time. The
Rock and Austin, the biggest of all time. The fact of the matter is this:
is I will give you every drop of sweat, every drop of blood, every ounce of
energy I have - win lose or draw, you are gonna get the absolute best of
the Rock at WrestleMania, and there's a reason why they call me the Rock,
there's a reason why the most electrifying man the world has ever seen and
all that - and there's a reason why they call me the best. Come April 1,
two unstoppable forces will meet...and all questions will be answered.

Steve, your final thoughts about this match?

Without getting overly sentimental, I'll go on record as sayin' every
single time I've been in the ring with the Rock, he has brought out the
absolute best in Stone Cold Steve Austin. So when I roll in to the
Astrodome and WrestleMania on April first? Do I wanna beat you on a
personal level? Oh hell yeah, I do. But on professional level, which
bleeds over into my personal existence, I need it, Rock - I need it more
than anything you could ever imagine. So that's the mentality I roll into
the Astrodome with, the fact that Stone Cold Steve Austin is back, and that
I must beat the Rock to be the World Wrestling Federation champion once
again. And there is no other way. There can be only one. There can be
only one World Wrestling Federation champion. And that will be, Rock, when
it's all said and done...Stone Cold Steve Austin. With all due respect.

Gentlemen, thank you very much for your time, and...best of luck to
both of you at WrestleMania.

WWF New York is rated TV-PG-DLV!

Last Friday, Aerosmith was at WWF New York! Why? Who knows?

WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (already in the
ring) and THE NEW MAN (with
Stephanie Can't Act & Undertaker is still cuffed, so he'll only be watching
& "WWF: The Music [Volume 5]" CD cover) v. KANE in a handicap
matchup -
Show's entrance is sacrificed so we can get all of Triple H's. Triple H
will be on the Late Show with Conan O'Brian, by the way. Show meets Kane
on the ramp - right by Kane, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, Show with a knee, forearm in the back, and whip...is reversed - Show
hits the post! Kane in the ring - H is blocked, right, right, right, into
the ropes, big boot. Whip into the corner, double choke...Show is back in,
Kane lets H go, gutshot, head to the buckle, right, right, right, Taker
watching the monitor (flanked by cops) - Show reverses a whip into the
corner, but the elbow only finds the buckle. Gutshot for H - press (!) -
and tossed into Show. Show scooped up (!!) but H kicks the back of Kane's
knee, sending Show crashing onto Kane. Doubleteam stompdown commences -
referee "Blind" Mike Chioda isn't having much luck keeping it one on one.
Show goes out. H reacts to Kane getting up even after all that. Back to
the rights and stomping - and here's a tag. Reaction shot from the Taker -
I guess he doesn't like Show much. Scoop slam on Kane - and he gets up.
Forearm in the back, into the ropes, well it's a big sidewalk slam. Zombie
situp! Well it's a big right, right, vertical suplex - all power. And
AGAIN Kane hits the zombie situp. Right, right, right, right, Show runs at
him but Kane drops and lowers the bridge. H in - right by kane, right,
right, into the ropes, scooped up on the shoulder - big powerslam by Kane.
Kane going out and climbing the corner - time for the flying clothesline.
Motioning for the choke - he's got him! - but Show is back in - HE gets the
left hand choke! H swings wildly but only manages to take out Chidoa
(ohhh). H with a kick in the nuts (Cole: "gut") after Chioda's back is
turned. ahhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. 1, 2, 3! (4:18) Wow, Triple H let
Show get the pin! Taker gives the frustration from his sofa. H knees Kane
in the 'nads one more time for effect. Chioda shoved down as the
doubleteam starts once again. H gets a good shove on ring announcer TONY
CHIMEL (almost putting him over the barricade) and grabs his chair. WHACK!
Taker doesn't like *that* too much either. Looks like we're gonna see a
PEDIGREE ON THE CHAIR! Taker's had enough - he overpowers all four
policemen - pauses to say "damn!" and runs to the ring, still in cuffs.
"Now I'll tell you what - you go in the back and tell that piece of crap
brother of yours I'll see his dead (beep) at WrestleMania. As far as you
go, you gotta date with the Big Show. Good luck. I'll tell you what,
Kane, I'm gonna enjoy ruining your family. I'm gonna enjoy taking all of
you apart. You--" TAKER
is out. He kicks away another cop - and one
more. "You still want some? You wanna get in the match? Come on, bring
it. Come on, Dead Man!" Taker hits the ring - but he's cuffed - and no
problem for Triple H *and* the Big Show. Once again H has the chair -
WHACK for Kane - and an edge in Taker's abdomen. The cops have recovered
and stagger to ringside. "I see you've figured out by now, these aren't
cops - nah, I sent the cops home a little bit earlier. These are some
friends of mine. Kane found out, too - hey guys, do me a favour - put the
cuffs on him, too." Oh, well, it's okay that Taker beat 'em up 'cause they
weren't REAL cops. "I tell you what - now that you've met some of my
friends..." he's under the ring... "let me introduce you to one more."
It's the sledgehammer! "You see, Dead Man, it's good to have friends. See
I got friends, Taker, and I got 'em in all the right places. SLEDGEHAMMER
TO THE HEAD! The "cops" and Show swarm Kane as Taker taps a vein to add a
little colour. "You see, I warned your (beep) - I told you - and you, nah,
you couldn't listen, could you Dead Man. Well I told you, I warned you,
and now, I showed you. At WrestleMania, Dead Man Inc. goes belly up." On
one of the closeups, Taker is pixellated - making it either too grisly - or
too fake - for this show. Wow, that IS a lotta blood...

XFL on NBC hype

You're watching SmackDown! on UPN!

Local XFL on UPN spot

Here's a look at the scenic exterior of the Providence Civic Center

Moments Ago, five paragaphs ago - this time, instead of pixellation, we get
the clip in black and white

Our hosts announce the Gimmick Battle Royal for WrestleMania - let's hope
it isn't an April Fool's joke NOW

Let Us Take You Back to RAW is WAR...during which all THREE of theses teams
held the tag team titles - oh, and there was also the matter of a few
debuts...

KEVIN
"NAILZ" KELLY
stands with Edge & Christian, who stand in front of a
backdrop of stacked boxes. Hmm, I wonder if people will be attacking them
from behind....nope, I was wrong. "Christian!" "What?" "Get the rhino!"

Time now for the WWF Overdrive of the Week - from RAW, Spike Dudley makes
his debut and helps the Dudley Boyz win the tag team titles from Edge &
Christian

EDGE & CHRISTIAN & RHYNO - RHYNO? WITH
A Y? AYE. v. ALL THREE DUDLEY BOYZ
(with Countdown to WrestleMania Party hype - Dudleyz and Helmsleyz at WWF
New York Friday at 6pm!) - Edge and D-Von start -
gutshot, right, right,
D-Von ducks the clothesline off the ropes and hits a flying clothesline of
his own. Tag, open shot by Buh Buh Ray - left, left, left, right. Into
the ropes is reversed, Edge hits a spinning heel kick. Head to the buckle,
tag to Christian, right, Rhyno hitting him from behind as Christian pops
him. Into the ropes is reversed, big back body drop by Buh Buh Ray. Arm
wringer, tag to Spike. Spike off the top with a double sledge to the arm.
Arm wringer by Spike, right by Christian to breka it. Into th eropes, head
down, rollup by Spike...for 2. Spike ducks the clothesline and hits
another schoolboy for 2. Gutshot by Christian, put up on the shoulders -
Spike peppers him, then his brothers help start a victory roll - for 2. Up
on the shoulder, punching again - but Edge helps out with a hot shot.
Right hand by Christian - tag to Rhyno. He's poised - there's a big
clothesline. Right hand. "ECW" chant. Right hand. Stomp, stomp, stomp,
stomp, stomp. Referee "Blind" Tim White tries to get it out of the corner.
Whip into the opposite corner - head to the gut! Running stomp. Tag to
Edge, open shot. Scoop...and hung up on the top rope. Edge slapping the
back of his head. Stomp, stomp, stomp, Spike with rights - headbutt to the
gut, Edge drops him again. Into the ropes - no, Edge is tying him in the
ropes - crossbody to the easy target. Scoop...and a slam. Edge on the
seceond rope...senton MISSES and both men are down. Crowd claps for the
Dudleyz...tag to Christian - tag to D-Von! Duck, right, clothesline, shot
for Edge, Christian pressed and dropped, neckbreaker for Edge, Rhyno
knocked to the floor, slam for Christian, but Rhyno takes out D-Von on his
second chance. Rhyno's back is turned - hairpull takedown by Buh Buh Ray.
Right, right, D-Von helping with the whip - double flapjack into the second
rope (OUCH)! Bodyslam - "What Are You Doing?" - testify dance -
D-Von...Towen of Babel. Edge put into position for the double flapjack but
Christian pulls the table away. Christian puts the table in a corner (for
a gore later?) Whip into the ropes, but Christian rolls outside to avoid
3D. Edge is in with a chair - WHACK to Buh Buh Ray! White sees it and
calls for the bell. (5:54) D-Von
gets a big chairshot as well. Spike
back - dropkick to Edge's back - Christian back in - Spike ducks a
clothesline, gutshot, going for the Acid Drop...but Christian just tosses
him back to the centre. Now HE has a chair - but Spike ducks the
Conchairto...fortunately, he's in PERFECT position for Rhyno to come back
in and spear him through the table. Here's a replay.

Backstage, Vince...prepares coffee! Steve Austin creeps up from behind..to
ensure we get an interesting facial expression from Vince. Austni tells
him that should anything happen to Debra, not only will he hold the Rock
responsible, but he's holding Vince responsible as well. "Do I make myself
clear? Thank you."

WrestleMania spot

And now, the Stacker 2 Burn of the Week! From RAW, Ivory burned a
cardboard cutout of Chyna - and then Chyna burned Ivory by actually
appearing and DDT'ing Ivory.

RYGHT TO CENSYR
hits the ring - well, three of them do; Goodfather and
Buchanan decide to take a seat next to Tazz so he won't interrupt. "Thank
you, thank you very much, thank you. When Chyna signed that release last
Monday, she exonerated me from any responsibility or liability when she
gets hurt at WrestleMania. Righteousness should not be confused with
mercy, because I will have no mercy on Chyna's neck at WrestleMania."
Venis: "Here in the WWF, good is perceieved as evil, and evil is perceived
as good. The truth is ALLLLLLLLLL around you, and yet, you people sleep.
Well since our words will not wake you, tonight our actions most certainly
will." Richards: "Ane now onto another piece of business. On this night,
this glorious night, a night of redemption - redemption before
WrestleMania..." Richards leaves the ring and walks to Tazz. "Tazz,
tonight, you stop sticking your nose in the Right to Censor's business.
Tonight, you take responsibility for your actions, and most importantly,
Tazz, you will be CENSORED." Tazz grabs Richards' head and slams it into
the commentary table, then climbs overand puts on the Tazzmission.
Goodfather and Buchanan are all over him with punches but he won't unlock
the hold - and here come the ACYLYTES
to join the fight! What the henkc is
Bradshaw doing wearing a WHITE belt? Maybe he DOES pound ass...naaaaah

Backstage, Kurt Angle catches up to Chris Benoit. Tonight, it's them
against the Rock - and tonight, they should break him in half. It's that
simple. Benoit raises his eyebrows in response after Angle leaves.

Rock is WALKING!

"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" ad

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by LUGZ! From RAW,
Austin hits the ring...and gets a belt shot and Rock Bottom. Oops.

Austin grabs another beer - looks like he's going to sit in front of the
monitor and watch the next match...

CHRYS BYNOIT (with Austin on Byte
This! hype) and KYNG KYRT YNGLE (with
wrestlemania.com logo) v. YF YA SMYLLLLLLL (with Mrs. Austin) in a
handicap
match - Cole flies solo with Tazz suffering the
ill effects of the previous
segment. Hmm, it's NOT the Rock, though - that's BYLLYONAIRE VYNCE. I
*thought* it was too early to have the last match of the night without
something to kill a little time. Could we get a commentary appearance by
McMahon? Indeed, he grabs the second headset and says he's here not
because of Austin's warning, but merely to add a little colour to the
event. Angle starts. Benoit tries to tap him from behind, distracting
Rock enough for Angle to get in the opening licks. Whip is reversed,
clothesline by Rock, clothesline, leg is hooked, 2. Right by Angle. Tag
to Benoit, ten kicks. Forearm, forearm, whip is reversed, Rock
clotheslines Benoit from behind. Rock with a vertical suplex (!) for 2.
Vince says he's actually looking forward to facing Shane. Benoit ducks
under a clothesline attempt and hits a death suplex. Tag to Angle,
stomping away. Angle with a vertical suplex...for 2. Headlock...tag to
Benoit, open kick to the gut. Right hand by Benoit, right, off the ropes,
but Rock steps aside and dumps Benoit to the floor. Rock out after him -
head to the barricade, right, right, whip is reversed...but into Angle!
Rock clotheslines Benoit as well! Rock looks to Vince...then whips Benoit
into HIM!! Amazingly, referee "Blind" Earl Hebner doesn't DQ him here -
Vince pops up with bright eyes. Back in the ring - Benoit reverses a whip
and Angle forearms him in the back. Rock pops Angle...but lands in a
German suplex from Benoit - holding on for two - holding on for three!
Elbowdrop by Benoit - tag to Angle. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp,
stomp, stomp. Head to the buckle, right, right, kick, kick, kick, standing
on the neck. Angle and Hebner have a discussion - Rock comes back - right,
right, right, whip is reversed, Angle's elbow lands. Clotheslined out of
the ring. Hebner holds Angle back, so Benoit grabs a chair - and runs it
into Rock's head! "What goes around comes around, all right? The story of
my life." Benoit tosses Rock back in - Angle with a stomp. Angle going up
top?? Missile dropkick by Angle!! 1, 2, NO! Scoop...and a slam by Angle.
Angle going up top again - maybe for the moonsault? OH YEAH - but it
MISSES! Austin's still watching, by the way. Benoit quickly in with a
scoop slam...swandive headbutt MISSES! All three men are down - Hebner
gets to six before they stir. Benoit rolls out as Rock and Angle get up -
Angle with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine!" Stomp, stomp, stomp, tag.
Rock blocks, right, block, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversal,
Rock holds on, belly-to-belly toss - Angle in, duck, gutshot, DDT,
spinebuster for Benoit, leg is hooked, Angle breaks it up! Angle back to
his corner as Rock and Benoit get up - Benoit grabs the clothesline attempt
and locks in the crossface!! Benoit mauling the back of his head to make
sure it STAYS on. But...Angle puts Rock's foot on the rope?! Hebner sees
it and forces the break. Benoit wants to know what the hell's up - Angle
tags him in the back and comes in. But Rock blocks the right - right,
right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT! Right for Benoit on the apron as well -
poised for ROCK BOTTOM on Angle! Leg is hooked - 1, 2,
3!! (8:27) Vince
praises Rock's "amazing display of athleticism" - but now Benoit is in with
a flying elbowdrop. Right hand, into the ropes, reversed, spinebuster by
the Rock! SHARPSHOOTER!! Angle is up...and watching? Angle is LEAVING!
In fact...Angle is SMILING! Two more referees hit the ring but Rock is
refusing to break the hold. Now Vince himself is in - and Rock *does*
break the hold after he barks at him. Rock with words for Rock - Hebner
asking him to get out - McMahon decking *Hebner* and giving HIM the
point...turns back to eat ROCK BOTTOM! But now *Angle* is back in -
forearm in the back - ANGLELOCK!! Debra is in - Austin is watching...no,
Austin is up! Angle is cranking it in...no NO, Austin is taking his seat -
he was only getting another beer! And he's REALLY SAVORING that beer!
Angle still has the anklelock in...and he'll probably have it in until
Monday because this show is done!