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When Life Sucks, When We Hurt

Sometimes life has a way of taking us by surprise. When something good goes bad for no reason, the bottom drops out of our world. No need to go through the list of emotions that course there way through us. We all have, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Yet, when it happens, is always takes us by surprise, we think we are the only person in the world who hurts. The only person in the world to feel this way. Generally we feel like the only person in the world.

Everyone else is going about their life, feeling good, and having fun. We on the other hand are sinking into a despair which if we stopped to think about, we would wonder if we will ever find our way back.

I came across this word a couple of times in the last week, and wanted to share it with you. I believe this word and its definition will help put things in perspective the next time we are caught by surprise and think we are the only person in the world who feels this bad.

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

It is important to try and remember when our world is falling apart, we are not the first to go through this. In fact if we could step away from ourselves, we could see the word ‘sonder’ in action.

Hundreds, if not thousands, or even millions of people feel same way we feel in the moment our world falls apart. Most people put on a brave face, or wear their face in a mask to hide what is really going on inside, so others do not see our pain and frustration.

Sonder. No matter how hurt, frustrated, helpless, and impotent we feel in the moment, we are not the first to feel this. We won’t be the last person to ever feel this. Take a moment and look deeply at those who are walking by, and think, Sonder. Remind yourself, sonder and time heals all.