Monday, August 15

Quotes from Crossroads Road, by Jeff Kay, author of the West Virginia Surf Report.com

If you are looking for a funny book to while away a few hours, this one will almost surely tickle your funny bone and may even give you a few belly laughs. Jovis and Tara, along with other assorted family members and hangers-on, are given two million bucks after her mom wins the lottery. The ensuing chaos is very funny. Here are a few quotes from the book. There were many others, but I can't print them here. Proceed at your own risk.....lol

"I don't think it's possible for Sue to tread lightly. Her ass is so big now, it's started to square-off. Have you noticed that? Really gigantic asses go square after a while, and it looks like the person has couch cushions in their pants. It's true, and Sue's have gone full-square. Actually rectangle, two giant rectangles rubbing together." (P.S. If you fit this description (or it offends you), I'm sorry - please don't shoot the messenger. I think it is funny (and true.)

"....I'm talking to the parents. They need to know what their trampy little harlots are doing in their spare time. But I'll take care of it. The farther you stay away from this, the better. You think it's funny, but it's a bigger threat to you than anyone. Naked 14-year old girls and men in their 40s do not mix, Jovis. You could be arrested, thrown in to prison, and featured on one of those child molester websites, complete with a bug-eyed photo and a map to our house.......Once you're pegged as a sexual degenerate, it's a difficult thing to shake....Plus, it's common knowledge that "prison is shorthand for "involuntary power-sodomy in a cinderblock shower with a man known only as "Chicago."