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THE DIARY OF A CHICK WHO WALKED AWAY FROM ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE CULT)

Go-Go Rach once was a girl whose world was controlled by the idea that she was POWERLESS. After a chain of events, she realized she'd been lied to. Now she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, with whomever she chooses to do it with.

Her blog chronicles the horrors she experienced in the halls of Alcoholics Anonymous (THE CULT) and the wonderful things she does now that she's escaped. *IF SHE BIT HER TONGUE ANY LONGER, IT WOULD BLEED!*

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

NOW IT'S JUST ME.

It was you and me against the world. Now it's just ME.

What's Shakin' Peeps?Well, I am finally gonna write that post. The one where I say I've been through too much to...um, do much of anything, let alone write.Tolstoy's death has really thrown me over the edge of devastation that I used to be able to put aside or, at the very least, bury under my constant ability to get shit done.Without him, the feelings I once abused substances to deal with, have become an unmanageable volcano of emotion that feels like searing lava erupting from the core of my being.Nothing in my life has ever hurt as much the loss of my constant companion. My angel pug offered all the love I've ever needed and remained by my side, no matter what, even when everyone walked away from me. Tolstoy stayed happily, until he couldn't.His presence made it possible for me to ignore the crippling loneliness that consumes a person like me, who grew up without love or the community so many people take for granted.Now that he's gone, I am overcome by a sadness I've never experienced, even in my darkest days.My heart is shattered in a zillion tiny pieces, as is my mind, body and soul. Like a mirror dropped from a skyscraper roof, the shards of me are spread far into the horizon, while my aching, exposed soul remains, alone.I'm lost, stuck on cold, hard concrete, unable to move.The past twenty months have been positively HORRID. The two things that got me through it all were my ability to hold onto hope that I would get back to this blog, my purpose and life as I knew it before my "mother" took the opportunity to destroy me and my precious, Tolstoy.Now that I've lost my one true love, that feeling is gone.And, I don't know when or if I'll ever get it back.All I can say is that I'll try.In the meantime, I want you to know that I finally got my shit together enough to stand on my own two feet, as much as I can, with the issues I have to deal with.I'm back in California, where I want to re-start the re-start of the re-start to my start-over.

It's gonna take some time, my friends.I'll see ya when I see ya.Until Then,

My Tolstoy Has Gone To Heaven

COMMENTS POLICY

You people are ill equipped to contribute to any intelligent conversation on my site, as long as you subscribe to dogma and lies.

Your comments are trite and boring and do not belong here.

Also, I will not allow you to assault my readers with the filth and perversion you call "well."

Please Note: I did not ask for your advice, yet you keep coming back in your precious free time away from meetings as a way to indulge the feelings you used to drink or drug over.

I encourage you to get some authentic help with your issues so you may get to the bottom of why you've replaced your substance abuse with the incessant need to troll the internet for places to spew your insecurities and rage.

Why bother with such a waste of time?

Some are sicker than others.

I do not welcome, nor appreciate your obsession with me.

I put up with your insanity for much too long as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have a right to protect myself from those of you who insist on doing it here.

Go-Go away now and get some help before you find yourself in jail, dead or in an institution.

With love and an epic internet hug.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Go-Go Rach

SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU NORMALLY DOES FOR ONE OF THREE REASONS. THEY EITHER SEE YOU AS A THREAT, THEY HATE THEMSELVES, OR THEY WANT TO BE *YOU!*

*SMOOCH*

Thanks for stopping by. I've got *MAD LOVE* FOR YA. XXX Go-Go Rach

Check Out What Tweeps are Saying About Go-Go Rach!

"Go-Go Rach is to writing, as Madonna is to music...ever-changing, brilliant, enviable energy...on the edge of my seat to see what she does next!*SHE ROCKS*" -anonymous review of LIVING THE DREAM WITH Go-Go Rach

"http://gogorach.com by @gogorach it's a must read & that's all there is to it. Go now...read Rach."@22DanielleM

@Drifter0658@hargarmoopy Drifter, thanks for posting this link.. Just spent an hour reading the best blog I've read all year.. No kidding! :)

BIG, FAT THANK YOUS! XOXO

HEADS UP, PEOPLE!

THIS IS THE DEAL.

THE SUBSTANCE IS *NOT* THE PROBLEM.

The *REAL* issue is whatever pain the abuser needs to kill.

The substance of choice works (until it doesn't).

If we take the pain out of the equation, substance abuse will disappear.

POWERLESSNESS is a billion dollar business that has spread across our hearts and minds like a venom.

The "disease concept" kills people, lives and families every single day.

Labels LIE.

Ask "WHY?"

It's your life.

How do you want to remember it?

Don't get "sober."

Get WELL.

Revolutionary Recovery, baby!

Go-Go Rach Says:

ONE SPOKE.THEN, ANOTHER SPOKE.WE ALL SPOKE.AND IT STOPPED.

CHANGE IS COMING.

*BUCKLE UP*

"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith

Get Me

I am a grown woman with a foul mouth, sharp wit, and lots of stories to tell. I will never apologize for what I write, or how I write about what interests me.

Life is not all roses and butterflies; I am fascinated by the darker side of it and the fucked up shit people do to each other in the name of "love."

I find it incredibly humorous when people read my work (over and over), then bitch about it, as if I have, somehow, tricked them about my content.

Finally, this blog is not about healing for me. I've moved well beyond the need or expectation that I might heal from the way I've been betrayed.

There is no healing from the shit I've been through.

Instead, I choose to embrace and accept the pain as a vital and appreciated part of myself.

I am a writer. I write. It's what I do and will continue to do until I take my last breath.

Until that time I will always call to the carpet the injustices I see via stories about the perpetrators. If you don't like it, don't read it.

If we behaved better, I would have nothing to write about.

That's What's Up.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson

Go-Go Rach on Google +

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Mahatma Gandhi