Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Dreams

For as long as I can remember, I have had vivid dreams. Some people claim they never have dreams, or forget them as soon as they wake up. I usually can remember most of each dream, including tiny details; some dreams I can remember from years ago just because they had such an impact on my psyche. Here are some, just to name a few:

1. Growing up I definitely had a lot of those dreams where you feel like you're falling. I remember one when I was skateboarding and grinding down a rail, but woke up when I fell off in my dream. You feel shaken up even though nothing actually happened to you! You're out of breath, your heart's racing. It's amazing how the mind can control your physical reaction just to thoughts!

2. All of my nightmares involve getting attacked. I think this is because I honestly have no idea how to defend myself. I don't own a gun (let alone know how to shoot one), I've never taken karate or self-defense classes, and I'm not a big person, so punching someone out is out of the question. The first one I remember was actually about a dog. In my dream I owned a gray miniature schnauzer (I don't remember the timing of my dream, but my dad had a good client who owned this type of dog, and maybe I had seem them recently...not sure). He and I would frolic and play outside, and he met a squirrel in the woods who he became friends with. But the sky was turning dark from a storm, so I told the dog we needed to go inside. He didn't want to leave his friend, but I made him. Then I was in my bed (it looked just like my real bedroom), and the dog comes into my room with glowing yellow eyes. He starts growling at me and speaking to me in a gruff voice, telling me how I had made him leave his friend and how he was angry at me. And then he lunged at my throat...That's when I woke up. This was years ago, and I can still picture those stirring images! I've also had multiple dreams about big men coming after me; I try to stab them or run away, but I can't. So scary!

3. I had one dream that felt like a movie it was so long and detailed. Leonardo DiCaprio was the leading man (of course!). It started out back in time with two Native Americans in a canoe on a river, and they had necklaces that were symbolic of something, but you didn't know what. Then we're transported to the present on a large ship (Titanic, anyone?); there are people on it as well as cargo. Along the storyline, you meet many characters, many of which have these same necklaces. DiCaprio is like a detective (that's not his job, but he's just curious) and tries to figure out what it means. At the end, we find out that the necklaces indicate that people are somehow involved with trade, usually for something illegal (in this case it was boot-leg videos). I mean, a dream with such a plot is crazy!

4. And of course I've had dreams of the men in my life. Those who have hurt me and are still in my subconscious. I dream of breaking up, I dream of getting back together, I dream of meeting up as friends and talking about the good times. I've dreamt I'm holding someone's hand only to wake up and see my hand squished between my knees. I'm not sure I can say these are the most disturbing dreams, but they worry me in that I can't stop thinking of people from the past. How can I move on consciously if my dreams won't let me?