My Canadian friends,
you may have heard the latest breakthrough discovery in science that
comes from a 10,000 year old fossil found in Cheddar Gorge, England.
This latest discovery has blown the kettle lid off of what was
previously known about the whiteness of
early Britons. The wonderfully challenged British press has gone
absolutely mad over this discovery and has found remarkable ways to
tie this new discovery with Britain's ongoing migrant crisis. How
have they done this, you may ask? They have turned the new revelation
about Cheddar Man's skin colour into a lecture on how the earliest
Britons were not white at all and, therefore, how we all must now put
our displeasure with the largest influx of migration in Britain's
history to rest.

Let us look at some of
the more cogent headlines coming out of Britain at the moment and
what Britain's most wise journalists are writing underneath them.

It was initially assumed that Cheddar Man had
pale skin and fair hair, but his DNA paints a different picture,
strongly suggesting he had blue eyes, a very dark brown to black
complexion and dark curly hair.

The
discovery shows that the genes for lighter skin became widespread in
European populations far later than originally thought – and that
skin colour was not always a proxy for geographic origin in
the way it is often seen to be today.

There is nothing wrong
with that, right? Nothing to see here but an unbiased, purely
scientific word pie of facts. Until we slither much further down into
The Guardian's rabbit hole:

Rachel Andrews, who was tending the bar at the
Black Dog Saloon, a wild west-themed cider pub at the foot of Cheddar
Gorge, was not going to have a word said against the village’s most
famous former resident.

“We’re very proud of Cheddar
Man,” she said. “There’s a really good, strong community spirit
around here. We all look after each other and he’s definitely one
of us.”

...

Current students at the academy are excited and
inspired by this idea.

“It’s incredible,” said Aiden Malik, 16.
“The fact that he has the darker skin tone reminds us that we
are all one race – the human race. That’s what’s most
important. We should all respect one another.”

Malik and his friends reel off their diverse
heritages: they have Pakistani, Irish, Greek Cypriot, Swedish, Sri
Lankan, Guyanese, Indian and French roots.

“No one is pure British,”
said Isaac McAndrew, 15. “With the rise of extremist groups, like
EDL [the English Defence League], people are getting more scared of
immigrants. These groups tell people: ‘You need to get out of the
country because we were here first.’ That’s just factually
wrong.”

The results of 10,000-year old Cheddar
Man’s DNA analysis have hit the headlines in the past few
days, accompanied by a striking portrait that needed no words. Here
was this bona fide European – indeed, an ancestral Brit – and
the man was black. Genetic analysis suggests he had blue eyes,
and that his skin was probably darker, even, than the portrait
shows. Three hundred generations later, allowing for a little
variation between individuals, about 10% of the genome of many white
British people alive today comes from this man’s dark-skinned
population.

Contrary to some comments made on
the story, Cheddar Man was no anomaly – no lost, tanned tourist
to the British Isles. Rather, he was of a group known as the western
hunter-gatherers, who migrated into Europe at the end of the last ice
age, like other ancestral Europeans found in Spain, Hungary
and Luxembourg. As with our British ancestor from Cheddar, their DNA
has also been analysed, and the results show that these Europeans,
too, had the same dark skin.

Oh brother! My Canadian
friends, it was not just The Guardian. The Mirror had a thing
or two to say about white supremacy and the Cheddar Man:

Cheddar Man is the savoury filling in a
delicious Hope Not Hate sandwich. The juiciest irony being he lived
next to the Somerset constituency of the MP everyone believes is the
oldest known Englishman, Jacob Rees-Mogg .

The anti-immigration poster boy who the Mirror
recently exposed as attending a dinner held by far-right group
Traditional Britain, where the host talked of deporting non-whites to
their “natural homelands”.

Cheddar Man obliterates the
racist’s notion of traditional Britain, proving that since
humans walked the Earth they have headed to this island for a better
life.

Now if that was much
too blatantly pro-migrant and ridiculous for you, our colonist
family here in Canada had a more polite way to put it at the Toronto
Star:

A made-for-Internet scientific
discovery that at the same time strikes at the core of modern
racial strife. An announcement Wednesday that DNA tests on the
oldest complete skeleton in Britain, that heart and ancestral home of
many white people around the world, suggest that the first modern
Briton was blue-eyed, yes, but very dark-skinned and curly-haired.

The Cheddar Man, named thus for the English
village of Cheddar where his skeleton was discovered in 1903, is
about 10,000 years old.

To add salt to a supremacist’s
wound, scientists said that the genes for lighter skin likely came
from, you got it, immigrants from the Middle East.

Oh what a delightfully amusing piece of
made-for-internet fun this discovery has been! All of the far left's
ideas about white supremacy have been proven true and oh what fun it
will be to rub the Cheddar Man in our pale, un-European faces! What
better way could there be to make Britons accept culturally diverse
migrants from every part of the world than with science. Science!

The Science

How much of this
science is indeed true? This should be a reasonable question being
asked by journalists, but it has mysteriously remained absent in all
of the stories we have examined here.

Many among the real
alt-right have attempted to discredit the science with claims that it
is simply impossible to determine skin and eye colour from DNA
retrieved from bone matter. Unfortunately for the very alt-right that
has been feeding the far left's race agenda, that claim is
objectively false. The human genome is quite thoroughly mapped and
DNA has been successfully recovered from several prehistoric fossils
before. My apologies, real white nationalists—you are wrong and
foolish.

Indeed, skin
pigmentation and the genes and enzymes responsible for it have been
well studied, but where the alt-right may be correct is in their
claim that knowing the exact shade of Cheddar Man's skin is
impossible. Scientists may know he had much darker skin than
originally thought, but they cannot know for sure how dark Cheddar
Man may have really been. The only certainty that can be retrieved
from genetic analysis is that Cheddar Man was not as white as
current, European Britons—this uncertainty is admitted by most biological
scientists.

Where the science could
be wrong is with Cheddar Man's status as a traveller, tourist or
visitor to the area today known as Cheddar. Britain's press has made
it sound certain that Cheddar Man was not a “tan-skinned tourist”,
but their assertion may not be accurate.

Scientists have
confirmed that most of the skulls found in Gough's Cave, where
Cheddar Man originates, are not genetically linked to Cheddar Man.
Many of those skulls have been dated to be thousands of years older
than Cheddar Man. Very detailed studies
have been published about the skulls from Gough's Cave and have also
detailed cannibalism and survival rituals, as well as the genetic
differences among the cave dwellers.

The same scientists who
have studied Cheddar Man have as well concluded that only 10% of
European Brits originate from Cheddar Man's Haplogroup U5. This is
confirmed and talked about in Bryan Syke's book, The
Seven Daughters Of Eve. The remaining 90% of Britons
originate from a “whiter” lineage, as published
in several scientific journals:

Western and Eastern
Europe came into contact ~4,500 years ago, as the Late Neolithic
Corded Ware people from Germany traced ~3/4 of their ancestry to
the Yamnaya, documenting a
massive migration into the heartland of Europe from its eastern
periphery. This steppe ancestry persisted in all sampled central
Europeans until at least ~3,000 years ago, and is ubiquitous in
present-day Europeans. These results provide support for the theory
of a steppe origin of at least some of the Indo-European languages of
Europe.

It is without question
that many Europeans have some sort of genetic linkage to Northern and
Southern Asia as well as a region known as the Caucasus, which
connects Asia and Europe. This, however, in no way changes the native
status of modern Britons to anything less than the hereditary owners
of modern Britain. Britons have a long, proud heritage and culture
that is now being washed away by a parade of poorly informed
journalists using science as a basis to accept mass migration into
the United Kingdom.

This revelation about
Cheddar Man has been used to further devalue and demoralize Britain's
culture and national pride, even when a majority of hereditary
Briton's do not belong to Cheddar Man's scientific Haplogroup. To say
that Cheddar Man's skin colour is now a moral grounds in which to
reject ideas of British culture and nationhood is patently false and
wrong. The science of Cheddar Man should not, in any way, dissuade
Britons from cherishing their lineage and ownership of their
United Kingdom.