Dear World

I’ll be honest – I’m struggling to write letters the past month or so. My best writing is when my heart is there, but lately, my writing has been for work.

But that’s not the main reason. I’m struggling because I doubt myself. I doubt my relevance, I doubt my ability to be meaningful.

Doubts that have filtered through to, well, my internal sharing filter. I hold back because I seem to have no concrete point so I ramble. Because of my tendency to ramble, I hold back in conversations.

Doubts that have me questioning my ‘right’ to share my struggles with others, because I should be the strong person, and strong people don’t share their struggles.

Doubts that have me questioning my ‘right’ to contribute to the creative field. Despite being a creative person.

Doubts that let my inner nagging voice constantly ask me “What right do you have to contribute to this decision? You know nothing” or “Why didn’t you get this right? You should have gotten that right on the first try!”

So I did something, admittedly a while ago, that I’ve been holding back on – I started a Facebook page for this project. (It’s a bit empty, it needs a whole lot of love.) And honestly, I never fully understood the bigger reason why I felt I needed to be publishing letters on a public blog, or starting a (public) Facebook page.

Until yesterday. When I was sitting in front of the window staring out into the backyard, with my playlist of Passenger and Ed Sheeran playing in the background. When I realised that the whole “Liebe + Letters” project started from a love of writing letters, but it ended up in a journey of rediscovering myself. A journey of not letting that doubting, nagging little voice win.

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12 thoughts on “Dear World”

Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
We are as relevant as we want to make ourselves and creativity always has more room! Blog on and best of luck with the Facebook page. I enjoyed this post a lot. We all share these feelings at some point. -OM
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I can relate to your creative doubts. I sometimes wonder in moments of doubt, what makes me think that I have anything of value to share. In those moments, I doubt my creative instincts. Can I actually write or am I simply deluding myself in pursuit of something more – that sense of relevance referred to in your post. Each time, I remind myself why I write. I happen to love it. 🙂 So I continue to push my doubts aside, and hit the publish button. A great post btw! 🙂

It’s interesting how our minds play nasty tricks on us. I don’t have any doubts about my ability to write but i have struggled to find my voice, something I’ve gradually achieved through my regular blog writing. There is so much to be said to just getting out there and doing it and not overthinking things too much.
I’m not quite sure what’s holding me back. I think I’m looking for the perfect start to my story and keep going over and over that in my head instead of doing it. I don’t like making mistakes, which is a huge problem for creatives as well.
Good luck and thanks for the chat!
xx Rowena

I think doubt comes from numbers. How can we be seen and heard when there are millions bloggers who are struggling to be seen and heard. We have a sense of the impossibility of it all. That is what I think makes it also interesting. It is vague and certain at the same time to whom we are addressing ourselves . I think we are talking to our own selves somehow.

It’s only normal, that we may doubt our own abilities, because of the state of mind we’re all stuck in, and, the only way you can defeat that gnawing thought of not being good enough, is by keep doing what you’d always done, FIGHT!!!