Friday, February 17, 2012

Did You Hear The One About ???

Normally, I zero in on the lesser reported news stories to give you a bit of a diversion from the 2 or 3 main stories that are being aired non-stop by the major news outlets. It seems that the major players that dole out the latest and greatest news, now latch onto the "hot story" and beat us over the head with it. It doesn't appear that getting the facts straight is nearly as important as getting great ratings.

Which brings me to some of the lesser reported stories that couldn't wedge their way into the "real news programs" but still have a certain "worthiness" as far as entertainment value.

First up....

Hey Tweet Boy, Be Sure to Check the English to English Dictionary

A British tourist was handcuffed and barred from entering the U.S. because of a Tweet. Leigh Van Bryan tried explaining himself to authorities in Los Angles that the tweet that said he planned to "destroy" America was a slang term meaning that he intended to "party hard". The special agents weren't buying his explanation. According to Leigh, they told him "You've really f***** up with that one, Tweet Boy.

Those special agents sure have a concise way of summing up the situation.

Report of cruel and unusual punishment within prison system.

An inmate is suing New York City prison officials for $1 Million because they don't have prison jumpsuits in his size. A 400 pounds convicted felon, Elias Diaz, said he suffered emotional damage when he was forced to spend eight months wearing the same T-shirt and sweat pants because the largest size available in the NYC system is 6X. Diaz wears a 7X.

Really??? The worst part of being in prison is "not getting one of the jumpsuits".

Ain't That a Kick in the Head

Rodolfo Valladares went into his bank to cash a $100 check. Much to his shock, the teller thought he looked like a robber that had been hitting banks in that area of Florida. The teller of the Florida Bank of America set off the silent alarm and things went from "bad" to "worse" for Rodolfo. He was handcuffed by police and kicked in the head according to the Miami Herald.

The mistake was quickly recognized. The robber's description wasn't a match for Rodolfo. Also, at no point did Rodolfo act the part of a robber. The only things he presented to the teller were the check and his ID.

A Florida jury has awarded Rodolfo $3.3 million in damages having ruled that the bank was negligent in both tripping the alarm and not canceling it when they realized Valladares was a customer, not a criminal.

Do you suppose that Rodolfo is depositing his award into his Bank of America account?

A Computer was Hurt in the Making of this Film

Cut down in my prime

Did you happen to the one of the 26 + millions that watched the video of the irate father in North Carolina after he found a profanity laced diatribe written on Facebook? Tommy Jordan, had spent the day upgrading his daughters computer when he came across a status update posted by his daughter in which she complained at length about her lazy parents making her work too much.

Note: The full length video is over 8 minutes long but the shorter videos don't tell the whole story.

I am going to refrain from commenting on this one as people are clearly divided between the Yays and the Nays on this. I welcome your point of view. What do you think of this dad taking such a public stance to get the word out to his daughter that she is an ungrateful little snot.

I thought the same thing about the guy in jail. In the 8 months he is having to wear the same outfit, you would have thought he could have dropped on jumpsuit size. Frankly, being in jail would spoil my appetite and don't even get me started at the thought of having to use the facilities in a jail cell. I would never eat or drink anything.

I hope Rodolfo has had a change of luck with his settlement. That sounds scary as hell to be treated like a criminal.

I don't know what to make of the dad's response. He clearly is angry but still.... to go this public and this drastic....I don't know???? He is on the Today show today but I haven't watched it. I would think that taking her computer away would have served the purpose.

And if I was ever in prison, I'd weigh 5 pounds because I would eat or drink anything either! How that dude did NOT lose weight is a mystery to me! Hopefully I will never know the terrors of being treated like a criminal.

I think I'd be willing to trade being mistaken for a bank robber for $3 million. Maybe. Probably. Ha.

And I totally buy the "destroy America" thing. I've got friends who use the expression "destroying ___" when they're talking about going out and having a crazy (fun) time. I don't think it's the best expression, but I do know it exists. Poor guy.

Cheryl, this was wonderful! I've had so much fun reading and then the video at the end... priceless! Hahaha! I bet little Suzy, or whatever her name is, will learn a big fat lesson from this one! Hugs!

This is a great one, Cheryl. Love your line about the guy who couldn't fit into the prison suit! As for the British Tweeter, in order to be hired by Homeland Security you must first have your sense of humor surgically removed.

I really feel for that inmate. Everyone knows that stripes were in last season, what with Armani coming out with designer jumpsuits and all, and there was poor Elias, being left out of the fashionable criminals club. I don't suppose they even bothered to get him a decent pair of shoes either. Heartbreaking.

Sorry, I know it's taken me a while to get around to commenting on this post. I was busy opening up accounts in every Bank of America possible. Besides the obvious opportunity to become a millionaire as a result of false imprisonment and police brutality, I'm thinking I could probably snag me some extra pocket money when they don't give me a designer jumpsuit.

I gotta tell you, I applauded Tommy's approach to parenting. Personally, if my kid trashed me on Facebook FOR THE SECOND TIME (!!) after I spent my time and money fixing her computer just for it to be the medium she used for said trashing, I would have been pissed too. I think the shooting is what really gets to people. Personally, I would have pawned the computer and taken the money directly to the Bank of America.

I started to write a comment about the weight issue but everything I wrote sounded bitchy but I agree with you. If he really wanted a prison jumpsuit (and who wouldn't?) he needs to put down the fork and use his exercise time wisely.

In the story about Rodolfo they said his description was NOTHING like the description on the tellers "be on the lookout for memo". Dumb ass teller just lept to some type of conclusion.

I struggled through the video but found it really uncomfortable. I was wondering what had him so aggitated. I have been crazy stupid mad at my kids when they were teens (not often but still...) but never would have gone on camera.

I am DYING to know what Suzy or whoever is reacting to her dad's new found fame. I bet she is sooooo embarrassed. She does sound like a total brat though. I am not convinced that her parent is setting a great example.

Nicky, Nicky, Nicky....You ALWAYS make me laugh. You aren't late at all. I am just now back on line. I get a migrain headache about once a year and that was Friday and Sat. so I am just now checking my comments.

Fat guy...my first thought was that he really needs to watch how much he is eating gratis the government's prison budget. I was kind of dissappointed that jail food is good enough to keep 400 pounds on a guy. Really, I want my tax dollars shopping for the shitty generic brands. I have metablolism slower than a snail and even I could loose one clothing size in 8 months. Of course, if that size is 7XXX or something close to that, I want you to hire someone with a shiv to put me out of my misery. Ask them to aim for the jugglar vein as the shiv might not be able to penetrate the layers of fat.

As I am a Bank of America client, this story put a smile on my face. Rodolfo might be the only person that doesn't feel like they are being robbed by BOA. However, I smell a few new fees coming my way because of that payout. BOA needs to make huge profits one way or another.

Oh, I forgot to weigh in about you comment on "bat crap crazy dad". I, totally understand his anger. Doesn't his daughter sound like a little snot. I just think he needed NOT to put it out so public. I am fine with the embarassment he is causing "little miss ingrate" but he comes off looking like he lost his effing mind.

Had it been me I would have taken the computer away for sure but I wouldn't have shot it up. Sends a tone of "unbalanced"which have all of us out here semi supporting him while thinking he has lost his mind.

Hi Bob, Yes, I show up intermittently to jot of few things down. I am finding less humor in how things are going in our world right now, so it is hit and miss as to my ablilty to poke fun at things. Still with all the crazies out there, you would think that I should be able to find some stuff to spew sarcasm at.

Aww ... that made me laugh my head off. I am particularly partial to the guy who tweeted that he was going to 'destroy' America, and the Dad who objected to his daughters 'facebook' critcisms .... bloody priceless!

Hi Annie, I am glad you got a laugh out of these. I felt bad for the Brit that got his vacation dashed because of a misunderstanding, but it will make a great story for him to tell sometime in the future. Some of these rules just don't allow for slang. You have to wonder how often the phrase using the word "bombed" (as in the slang from drunk) has gotten someone in trouble with the TSA.

You can just see it in the face of the dad that he has lost every ounce of patience with his kid. That has to be one really tense household.

Although I probably wouldn't have shot the laptop (as I'm no longer allowed to own a firearm these days) She woulda gone without hers for a protracted period.

Sadly I think too many kids these these days have way too few responsibilities and therefore are growing up to be horrid, self-entitled snots who think the world should revolve around their every want as result. Jesus I sound old.

I think you sound "right on". The vein of that daughters facebook entry was very much "horrid, self-entitled snot". I agree that I wouldn't have ever destroyed a perfectly good laptop. I might have put a lock on it and dangled it from the ceiling in what is to be her cell for the next month. I certainly am not game for going on camera in some manic espisode so people can debate what kind of parent I am.