Time Magazine reports that all this torture has been for nothing — all the CIA needs in order to get all the information they need is a pen, a pad of paper, and a bag of Keebler Soft Batch cookies — or a substitution as determined by the dietary needs of said detainee:

The most successful interrogation of an Al-Qaeda operative by U.S. officials required no sleep deprivation, no slapping or “walling” and no waterboarding. All it took to soften up Abu Jandal, who had been closer to Osama bin Laden than any other terrorist ever captured, was a handful of sugar-free cookies.

This isn’t torture? Obesity is the number one killer, and yet feeding detainees cookies (possibly containing, gulp, trans fats!) is being tauted as the benign and more effective option to waterboarding? I’m shocked that this would be acceptable to the left. And I won’t even mention the choking hazard involved with cookieboarding.

Have you ever seen this procedure in use? Here’s a woman who agreed to be cookieboarded just to see what it was like (radio host “Francow” Duller), and she concluded that it is indeed torture:

Update: As a result of this report, “Francow” Duller has been booked on Keith Olbermann’s show next week to discuss her horrific experience.