Case Number 13873: Small Claims Court

Dead Man On Campus

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All Rise...

While in college, Judge Christopher Kulik wanted to kill his roommate for playing excessive beer pong.

The Charge

Roommate wanted…for a limited time only!

The Case

I'm not sure how many remember the 1998 dud Dead Man On Campus, though
yours truly does. He's not really ashamed of it, though he does wonder why. Most
critics spit on it, calling it a degrading, unfunny black comedy that seemed to
rely on sophomoric sperm songs and bombastic bong use to get most of its laughs.
That's pretty true, though for some reason I saw more in this neglected oddity
than most people. Perhaps it's because I was a massive Saved By The Bell
fanatic in the '90s. Maybe it's because I identified with the lead character.
Regardless, Dead Man On Campus has remained in my DVD collection for a
decade. Sad, I know.

Straight-arrow medical student Josh (Tom Everett Scott, Because I Said So) is starting a six-year
track at Daleman College on a scholarship. His new roommate Cooper (Mark-Paul
Gosselaar, Saved By The Bell) is a party freak who never studied in high
school, though apparently had friends who did. (Paging Screech!) Even though
they are complete opposites, Josh warms up to Coop's lifestyle…and ends up
bombing his midterms. At the same time, if Cooper doesn't start attending
classes, his father will put him to work in his toilet cleaning business. Still,
they find a potential solution to both of their predicaments: a clause in the
school charter states that if a student commits suicide, then their roommate
will be rewarded straight A's. Thus, Coop and Josh set out to find a
recruit.

I know what you are thinking: the premise is as believable as Paris Hilton
eventually winning an Oscar. The lame story is courtesy of Anthony Abrams and
Adam Larson Broder (both wrote and directed Pumpkin), who must have been on some serious
mind-altering substances when they brewed this up. However, I have to give them
credit for daring to write a black comedy on suicide, something most films would
never do. Sure, it may still come off as a poor man's Harold And Maude without an old
lady, though Dead Man On Campus still has its fair share of funny
elements.

Part of this is due to Mike White, who (of all people) co-wrote the
screenplay. Among other things, White later wrote the critically-acclaimed
features Chuck & Buck, The Good
Girl, and School Of Rock. As with all
college comedies, the jokes involve drugs, drinking, sex, homophobia, and
obnoxious frat boys. However, White doesn't allow things to become overly
unpleasant, even if some points are genuinely nonsensical. For example, the boys
actually break into a psych ward and steal medical records of all the troubled
students, despite the fact that Josh essentially has access because of his
major. The romantic subplots are the worst offenders, as they are set up and
paid off with almost zero comprehension.

Despite the flaws—and there are many—I still find a certain
amount of undemanding fun while watching Dead Man On Campus. Almost all
of the performances are negligible, though the actors seem to be having a ball,
particularly Gosselaar and Scott. By now, Gosselaar had pretty much shredded his
Zack Morris persona; here, he sports dark hair (and glasses) rather than the
wavy blond fibers he's known for. In the straight role, Scott fares slightly
better, if only when exhibiting stoned expressions even when he isn't high. Best
of all is Lochlyn Munro (White
Chicks) as a truly insane frat guy with a tendency to piss in a beer bottle
after emptying its contents. Every time Munro is on screen, my sides hurt.

Viewers might want to take a look just for other familiar faces. Randy
Pearlstein (Chappelle's Show) is a hoot as a wacko who thinks Bill Gates
wants his brain. Then there are Linda Cardellini (Scooby-Doo) and Adam Brody (The O.C.) in bit parts. Australian
Poppy Montgomery (Without A Trace) is wasted as Josh's love interest, and
a cameo by Kurt Loder is a given, considering this film was produced by MTV.
However, hottie Alison Hannigan provides some eye candy; this is right before
she became famous for having a flute fetish at band camp.

Then-film school graduate Alan Cohn (The Real World) adds some energy
to the proceedings, but only just enough to not make this film tired. In fact,
the sole bravo contribution by the crew is the songs. Yes, this is an MTV film,
so it's expected, though music supervisors Peter Afterman and The Dust Brothers
(Fight Club) manages to inject some
awesome rock songs. Artists include Eve 6, Creed, The Eels, and Marilyn Manson.
Be warned, however: this is a song co-written by Cohn called "Sperm,"
which is not only unfunny but rather sick; what's worse, it plays several
times.

Paramount's digital treatment of Dead Man On Campus is expectedly
lacking. On the plus side, the 1.85:1 Anamorphic widescreen print holds up just
fine, with almost no spots or grain. Sonically, we have three tracks (one
stereo, two mono), and optional subtitles in French; depending on your
preference, all of them suit their purpose. Extras include a widescreen
theatrical trailer, and…that's it. Not that I was expecting a commentary,
though there are no music videos, documentaries, etc. For some reason, Paramount
didn't even include a Reel Comedy featurette produced at the film's
release. Still, I don't think fans will commit suicide if the studio doesn't put
out a Special Edition. (One final note: when you watch, be sure to stay to the
very end, past the end credits, as there is an added scene.)

As for the verdict, this is a tough choice. Well, actually not. The film is
found guilty, though Lochlyn Munro is acquitted for reason of insanity. Court is
adjourned.