Granted, death, like anything else (marriage, for example), is an industry whose players need to stay relevant with innovations or new streams of revenue, and we largely have ourselves to thank. Okay, our emotional attachment to Sparky is fair game. But it's still kind of weird to imagine the possibilities:

"One in three pregnancies results in a miscarriage. Cup the child in God's Hands (TM); cup the profits in yours."

"Celebrity deaths can hit homes hard. The Icon Altar brings solace for the passing of role models the world over."

"Invisible friends are people too. Remind aging patrons to see them off in style."

In an unfortunate and amusing product naming mishap, German company TrekStor had named one of its MP3 players i.beat blaxx. upon realizing the not so nice meaning of that product name, the company has since switched the name to a less culturally agitating and more simple blaxx. One wonders who looks at this stuff before it goes out?

Yo, dawg. Apparently, Time Warner's All the Best Package let's you get down, virtually, of course with your homies around the world. Us? If we want to swap gang signs with an Indian hottie, we'll just jump on a plane to do it.

The headline pretty much says it all because there isn't much else going on in this commercial for Dutch shopping Mall Batavia Stad. Our friends ovr at Fresh Creation don't see the connection. Neither do we. Do you? (Here's your chance to get all conceptual)

Okay. Paying homage to a font is either acknowledging an undervalued aspect of the cultural exchange, or else very clever fucking marketing. But how many typefaces do you personally know that has its own documentary and a show at the MoMa?

Yes. We saw the latter with our own eyes. Gawk at the marvel that is the Chicago Public Library ad. Note the rakishness with which American Apparel robs Helvetica of its innocence. Observe with what candor and personality it reports the names of the Beatles.

How can one disarming typeface be so multi-faceted? We thought it was perfection in simplicity, but it might be its 80 faces.

If you are a sucker (or a decadent postmodernist or maybe just a big font-fan) of exceptional proportions, nail a double-sided Helvetica notebook. But why stop there? Helvetica would be an awesome name for your firstborn. We're sure he (or she) wouldn't hate you at all when time came to do the resume rounds or apply for college.

Word on the street is the right pair of shoes can be deadly. But if you're spending a lot of time on said street, you may find this turn of phrase more literal than not.

To take at least a bit of the risk out of sex work (though we still prefer the fatherly ever-lurking gigolo), the Aphrodite Project is developing male- and female-sized platforms that function as both alarm and tracking device. Like when you reach too readily for a hot car that's not yours, a hooker can fend you off with a high-pitched noise while simultaneously transmitting his/her location to a police station or sex worker's rights group.

Nighttime strollers can try the shoes at Gallery Aferro in Newark this September.

Falling into dire straights on the streets is a scary thing, but as Wired points out, imagine the mash-up opportunities! With a little magic a la Yahoo Pipes, a sex-starved someone could find the nearest hot-heeled fix in a 10-mile radius just by tapping in a zip code.

We don't know what it is. We can't place our finger on it but there's just something wrong with this Hayden Panettiere Got Milk advertisement. All that milk flying around? That look? The dress? The...OK, we're just gonna stop here and let you analyze the rest. Or just go home for the weekend thinking, "What the hell is Adrants' problem? Do they have to completely over analyze everything?"

OK, this is weird. Apparently, Enrique Iglesias is small. As in small down there between the legs. Small as in most condoms are too big for him. Why anyone might publicly admit to this as Enrique does to Esquire saying, "I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people - you know, from experience" baffles us a bit.

Reacting to this public statement, Lifestyles Condoms says it will guarantee Enrique one million dollars if he agrees to try on and model the varies sizes Lifestyles offers. If he agrees, photos of the condom fitting session will appear on the manufacturers site and on the packaging of the product the fits Enrique properly. Of course, we think the photos that do appear, won't be blatantly showing Enrique in all his extended glory.

Perhaps not being so big has its advantages. After all, with a girlfriend like Anna Kournikova likely causing "extentions" 24/7, it might be a good thing not to have to take your pants off every time one of those "extensions" decides to occur. Especially in public.

So will Enrique take the bait? Unlikely but at least Lifestyle condoms will get some press. And, we'll have yet another excuse to show you a picture of Anna. Oh, and Enrique too.

Using that cause and effect thing, Norwegian agency SMFB has put together an ad for energy drink Gnist which begins with a boy pulling his heart of of his chest and ends with Bush calling home troops from around the world. It's better than it sounds. Really. Give it a watch.

For Mountain Dew, it's not far-reaching enough to be down with street culture. Apparently it wants to be in with the Dirty South too.

A firm called Mirrorball.com has sent us a weird new take on the Green Label Project for Mountain Dew.

Meet Willy the Hillybilly, the face of the drink pre-dating the '60s. One-time tagline "Zero Proof Moonshine" also harks back to Prohibition, which is when the catchy Mountain Dew song in the ad was written.