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How can I get my husband to help with the baby?

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My husband wasn't much help during my pregnancy. He said he felt out of the loop since I was the one carrying our child, but he promised that after the baby was born he wouldn't make me do everything on my own. Well, our baby is nearly a month old and my husband isn't helping me at all. I don't think I even want to be with him anymore because I've done everything but get pregnant on my own. What should I do?

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I am so glad to hear that others are going through the same thing I am...I mean I hate it but I don't feel so alone now... Sometimes I feel so alone. My husband didn't cut me any slack while I was pregnant and certainly doesn't now that our son is here (3 1/2 months). He works opposite shift than I do and even though we live in the same house, we don't see one another until Friday when I get off work. I take our son to day care, pick him up and take care of him through the night (well all the time except when he is at daycare). On the weekends you would think that my husband would want to spend time with us but he just does his own thing and acts annoyed when I ask him to feed our son or do anything for me like take out the garbage (if I ask him to do anything he farts around and waits a few hours to do it just to annoy me.) I am so sick of this that I can't stand it. I clean the house, take care of the baby and although I'm married, I feel like a single parent. Actually I feel like I have a newborn and a teenager (husband). When he gets off work in the middle of the night, he will come in and fix himself something to eat and make a big mess and leave it for me to clean up. He just leaves plates and glasses sitting everywhere like they are going to pick themselves up and clean themselves. I hate to think so but I think this marriage is in trouble. His mother is a totally different story. She babies him like he's the only one in the world! We both just had a bad stomach bug and she came over and took him to the er! Yes she did, so I just stayed at home and took care of myself and our son while he was at the hospital getting fluids and phenegrin. I wouldn't have gone to the hospital anyway, I am stronger than he is that way...but he didn't even ask. Plus the fact that he called his "mommy" to come to the rescue to come and take him to the doctor. I am so over this crap!

we have a 10 month old son and my boyfriend doesnt help with anything..I feed our son, give him baths, and everything else while his father watches tv..he never takes me out and picks up and goes out whenever he wants all the time and leaves me at home all alone and says he doesnt need to answer to anyone...i need help!!!

My problem is that I am not getting any support emotionally. My husband is fine taking care of our newborn, but if I am upset he just stares at me or laughs. He thinks that I am foolish and he does not get that parenthood changes woman. He is the type of man that if he does not agree with an issue, than you are an idiot. He pretty much ignores me most of the time and wont help out around the house. Everything would rot if I did not clean. He never gives me credit for anything and is so emotinally disconected that I am thinking of leaving him. The only time he seems to be happy is when I am catering to his every whim. Somebody please give me some advice!!!!???

I am experience the same problem. Recently I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I let him know how I felt. It got better for a week and then things went back to normal. My son is 3 months old and his father helped out for maybe the first month. He too comes home gets on the computer and ps2. I have so much to do with a fussy baby that I have to stay up until 1am just to get things done around here. Then he doesn't understand why I get cranky. You need to sit down and have a long talk with your husband....yes many men do this but you need to let your husband know how you feel cause these frustration feelings could turn into worse feelings.

Sorry sweetie, but you better get used to it. Most men are extremely selfish, and none of that deminises when a baby comes on to the scene. Its strange what happens to women, this desire, or willingness, to give up even our basic needs to our child for long extended periods of time. Men do not go through that. You have to talk to him, hopefully he loves you enoug to take steps to change his nature but believe me most women experience what ou are experiencing.

My husband helped during my pregnancy b/c I was sick for the entire nine months, but after I delieved he just quit helping. I don't know what happened but it is so depressing because I do everything. I feel like a am a single parent and I know I didn't convice my son alone. I tried talking to him but it doesn't work, he walks off or just snaps my head off. Any advice is greatly welcomed.

My husband is the same way, our son is 3 months old and at first he helped me give him sponge baths in the sink and would sometimes change diapers but thats it. Now he takes baths in the bath tub and he has only given him a bath twice. He comes home from work, I work too, and doesn't hold him, or play with him or anything, he watches TV or goes and works on cars with my dad, then his excuse is that he is dirty and doesn't want to get him dirty. I don't think he has fed him once in a month maybe. He will do things for the baby when we are around his friends so they think he helps out. He hardly ever holds him, he holds him for maybe 5 min. and then puts him down. If I give him the baby for me to take a shower, by the time I get out of the shower the baby is either in the crib with the mobile on, or in the bouncer, but not in his daddy's arms where I left him. I get so aggravated b/c he doesn't do anything around the house anymore. He used to b/4 and during my pregnancy clean and do laundry, now he doesn't do anything. I tell him all the time that I'm tired of his lazyness and that if he doesn't shape up he's out but he thinks I'm just saying that. or he gets mad. But he still doesn't help. Someone tell me what I should do, please someone e-mail me advice... superchik81@yahoo.com

My husband is a great father don't get me wrong but he just don't help me with her that much any more. My daughter is almost 5 weeks and the first week he was great he would get up with her and every time you turned around he would have her in his arms, but then it faded.I understand he works all day that he might be tired when he gets home, but he gets home and jumps on the computer or has playing games on the game cube/ps2 ( he's like a lil kid) and every time you turn around now he has the remote in his hands. yeah when im fixing a bottle and she starts to scream he puts her binky her mouth or he might pick her up till I get back but then its all me.And we fight all the time now cause im irritated with him I don't know I haven't got much sleep and every day I get these bad head aches and im not sure if there from lack of sleep or what.I don't know what to do.Cause it seems like everytime i try and talk to him about it, it turns into a fight
Please someone help!!??!!??

Are there any teachers out there who can give me advice on how to deal with your first summer at home with the baby and remain a decent wife? I am going a little crazy trying to do everything and nothing is getting done and all I hear is, " Yeah but you are on holiday." I moved to Belgium to live with my husband who has another child (9) and my resentment is really getting unbearable. I try to talk but I don't feel understood. To his credit he tries to do somethings but not what I need. It is as if he heard part of the message but not the whole thing. What do I do? I told my best friend that I am having a harder time dealing with being a wife than a mother. Can anyone give me some calming ideas, or ways for me to change how I see this situation?

Our pregnancy was unplanned, and I still feel guilty for getting pregnant and feel it's my duty to do everything. And, even though we love our child more than life itself, I find myself playing the martyr now. I'm emotional, exhausted, and hungry and when I need help, I'm too proud to ask and when he offers help I put him on a guilt trip by saying "No, I got it". I know if I'd just lighten up a bit, and speak up when I need something, my hubbie would be fantastic.

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