Letters to the Editor for Feb. 1, 2013

The following is a letter I submitted to the Members of the Gun Violence Prevention Working Group and other Committees as well.

As the mother of teenager Kaelan Paton, who died trying to rescue a friend against great odds on June 16, 2009, I ask that all adults, parents, teenagers and children and community and governmental leaders voluntarily take strong measures to promote safety and non-violence at all levels.

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The PLANS (People Living and Learning with Agreements and Networking through Schools and Societal Laws and Practices) we live by and create impact everyone. Regarding availability of guns, stricter measures should prevail, since many countries do not allow private gun ownership, and certainly not the kind of assault rifles that fire many rounds.

In addition to new laws promoting more comprehensive background checks for mental health and domestic violence issues that could be linked to inappropriate gun ownership, there should be a comprehensive website accessible to all citizens in the country, providing an understanding of human development of young children and ongoing through the decades.

Too often parents and other adults are abusive toward children or others in their care -- the handicapped, elderly or the infirm or even other family members -- in the name of discipline or punishments, adhering to strict guidelines of their own making.

All youth should be required to have biannual exams for health, safety and living conditions. This could include a check to see that guns are properly stored. I would be grateful to work with others to promote safety in many "early intervention" ways to make certain all youth are properly supervised, similar to what is required by every state when divorces or custody plans are put in place legally.

All adults and parents need to understand the responsibilities of being a parent for youth under age 18 and in coordination with schools, sports or camp programs as well as private individuals caring for their own children or others. We already have the more stringent laws regarding driving and not serving alcohol to minors.

People need to know they do not have permission to give other people's children -- or even their own if not supervised and approved by local guidelines -- to do dangerous activities, such as the one that claimed the life of our 16-year-old when he was at the Housatonic River near the raging falls in Falls Village on June 16, 2009 with a group of high school friends. Our heroic son had a few moments to try to do all he could after saving two friends when he was on shore. Then he made a desperate attempt to reach another friend who could only be saved from someone coming down 80 feet on a rope from above, which was thankfully done by rescuer Skip Kosciusko, resulting in his friend's rescue.

All people need to be willing to report dangerous plans or situations to their schools, police, fire department and certainly other parents without feeling they are overstepping their roles. Women and children, particularly, need encouragement to let others know when they are being bullied, mistreated, isolated socially and physically, threatened with separation from their children or support people and deprived of autonomy.

Let us all review www.domesticviolenceabuseandchildcustody.com/ for current information of the "underground war" against protective mothers who often lose access to their children when disclosing abuse. A thousand mothers are killed each year, and another 500 women by their so-called "partners or spouses." About 200 children are also killed by men in their mother's life or their own fathers. Almost half of the police calls are for family-based violence, which too often prove fatal for not only the women and children, and responding officers, but similarly to Adam Lanza, result also in the man killing himself. The idea that the man has ultimate control over "his" wife, woman, children, home and assets needs serious review by the media.

The bonus materials on www.shouldistayorshouldigo.net could help all men, and yes, women and parents consider whether they are trying to have power over others versus power with others. The information on www.lundybancroft.com should be required for all school and community leaders as well as read by all parents and adults, as well as youth to gain life-saving knowledge and insights into breaking cycles of violence and control dynamics in homes, schools, workplaces and society. While we debate these difficult issues of safety and gun control, let us each try to live with a greater appreciation for the values of treating others with kindness, courage and love as well as making plans for all people to work toward respectful and responsible communication and accountability for those in our care and in our communities.

-- Catherine Palmer Paton, Falls Village

Audubon's annual appeal has begun

The Connecticut Audubon Society has started the Community phase of the 2012 CAS Annual Appeal. The 2012 CAS Annual Appeal raises essential support to fund our core conservation programs - education and advocacy - as well as sanctuaries and centers. The goal for the annual campaign is $425,000.

We are currently approaching the 75 percent mark toward our overall goal thanks to the leadership of our Annual Appeal Committee and early pledges to the campaign during the leadership phase.

During the Community Phase we will invite all past supporters to consider a pledge over the next three months. Pledges allow supporters to plan their gift adequately. Volunteers will be making calls to as many of these supporters as possible. The campaign ends on April 30. You will be receiving a request for support.

We hope you will consider your support of Connecticut Audubon's Annual Appeal carefully. Your support is important.

To learn more about our many programs and achievements, visit us at www.ctaudubon.org.