Irish Coffee: JaJuan Johnson ‘working out on his body’

Any time the Celtics‘ first-round draft pick gets awkwardly interviewed by a hot chick, it’s Irish Coffee’s duty and honor to relay the conversation. That’s precisely what happened when BallersBlock.net’s Zuri Hall conducted a locker room interview with JaJuan Johnson.

Zuri Hall: What does it feel like with the NBA lockout kind of looming? You haven’t even be able to experience that rookie season yet. Are you getting advice from vets, like how are you feeling right now?JaJuan Johnson: You have a lot of uncertainties, really, just because you really don’t know too much about what’s going on. I’ve never been through it yet, but all I can really do is work out and listen to the older guys. All they’re doing is just working out, too, so I’m just following their steps.

ZH: Now, have you entertained the idea of going overseas? What are your thoughts on guys who are thinking about that?JJ: I think it’s just on that person. Me, personally, I really want to work out on my body and just get bigger and stronger. So, my focus is just in the weight room and on my game, but I can see why obviously people want to play overseas — for financial reasons or whatever it can be — but that’s just my focus.

ZH: Ok, I’ve got a few fun questions for you. I’m not going to ask all the hard questions. All right, here’s one: Hypothetically — it doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, babies, none — it’s Game 7 of the NBA Finals, your wife goes into early labor with her first-born, where do you go — the game or the hospital?JJ: You gotta go to the hospital. You’ve got to. I might try to leave real soon. As soon as it’s delivered, we gotta head out to the game.

ZH: Good answer. It was a trick question. You had to say the hospital. Ok, I have a few either/ors: love or money?JJ: Oooh [rubs his chin]. Oh, God [smiles]. Naw, love, I’m just playing [laughs].

ZH: He’s just giving the right answers right now. Ok, party animal or homebody?JJ: Uh, homebody.

ZH: City life or the suburbs?JJ: Uh, city life.

ZH: If I wasn’t playing basketball, I would …JJ: If I wasn’t playing basketball, I would be a famous chef.

ZH: A famous chef? Can you throw down in the kitchen? What is your best dish?JJ: I’m big on pastas. I do a lot of different pastas.

ZH: Now, can that be confirmed, or is that just in your mind?JJ: Confirmed. One day I might give everybody a sample here.

ZH: All right, Ok, all right, I’ll take it.

And … scene. I’d like to think immediately after this interview, Johnson asks her out and makes her either a box of mac and cheese or a couple packages of Ramen noodles. She considers him to be the Bobby Flay of Italian cuisine, and the two live happily ever after. Fast forward to Game 7 of the 2012 NBA Finals, and Rookie of the Year favorite JaJuan Johnson’s absence from the C’s bench due to the birth of his first-born child costs the team a title.

In all seriousness, the Big Ten Network followed Johnson and Purdue teammate E’Twaun Moore on 2011 NBA draft night for a series called “The Journey,” which airs on Jan. 8. He appears pretty psyched about joining the Celtics, and you’ve got to respect any 6-foot-11 dude who crams on a couch with his family to await his fate.

Speaking of the Big Ten, Ashton Kutcherprotested the firing of Joe Paterno via Twitter, got called out for the hypocrisy of defending a man who enabled a pedophile for more than a decade when Kutcher himself advocates against child sexual exploitation, deleted the tweet and apologized by saying, “Didn’t have full story.”

As if that weren’t bad enough, even after the imbecilic Kutcher ordeal, Magic Johnson — the most boring man on Twitter — fires off three consecutive tweets.

Tweet No. 1: “Coach Paterno is the winningest coach in college football, a hero & a champion. Thank you for all you did for football & the Big 10.”

Really, Magic? Honestly? A hero? Helped turn young men into champions? Um, did you read the grand jury report? Perhaps you meant Paterno helped turn young men into shadows of their former selves by not reporting Jerry Sandusky as a known serial child rapist. Hey, at least he did a lot for football and the Big Ten, right?

Then again, Magic did appear in his friend Michael Jackson‘s “Remember the Time” video, so this is nothing new for him. Next thing you know he’ll come to the defense of Kobe Bryant. Gotta love them Lakers.

Speaking of Los Angeles, ESPN.com’s Land O’ Lakes blog is doing a series of interviews with NBA players who grew up in L.A. The latest featured Cavaliers point guard Baron Davis. The former UCLA star said he almost chose the University of Kansas because of his relationship with Celtics captain Paul Pierce, but come decision time on a Fox Sports television show he chose his hometown Bruins and tossed a Jayhawks hat into the crowd.

Let’s pick the conversation up there.

Baron Davis: I knew I could win a national championship going to Kansas, so it was still heavy in the back of my head [to go somewhere else]. And then [the Fox Sports producers] were like, [we think it would be cool to do the hat thing.] I was like, “What do you want me to do with the hat?” They were like, “Oh, just throw it in the crowd.”

I remember I caught a lot of flak for that. Roy Williams sent me a letter that said I was disrespecting Kansas.

Land O’ Lakes: You mentioned your relationship with Pierce. How far back does it go, and where did it start?

BD: Man, I’ve been knowing Paul since I was 9 years old.

LOL: Where did you guys meet?

BD: At the Inglewood YMCA. I want to say I played fifth or sixth graders, and he was playing with like seventh, eighth, and nine. Andre Miller played in the league, too. I’ll never forget, it was after the game, we won, and I went and bought a snack.

Then this dude just walked up, and he was like “Give me some of that!”

I was like, “What?” And it was Paul. He was like, “Hey man, give me some of that food, man.” Then he snatched it out of my hand.

I was like, “Ummm … Okay.” I had seen him play the weekend before, and I was like “Alright, dude! I get to hang out with Paul Pierce!” But from that point, we were playing on the same AAU team. I was the young point guard, but Paul was always one of the best players — he was the best player on the team.

LOL: What was his game like at that point?

BD: Same way. Smooth, could score effortlessly. Real lazy, lackadaisical, laid back … but next thing you know, he’s got 28. But he was so laid back and smooth, you just thought he was lazy or wasn’t pushing hard.

So I was like, “Alright, you can have my food, dog. It’s all good. You’re Paul Pierce.”

And that’s the story of the last time Baron Davis ever shared his food. Just kidding. No I’m not.

(Have a question, concern or conception for tomorrow’s Irish Coffee? Send a message to @brohrbach on Twitter.)