Sunday, February 3, 2008

Discount.

The store had a two-for-one deal on Valentine's chocolate arrangements.

It's like they know me.

(Do people buy those things for their platonic friends? The giant red heart-shaped boxes? I've never given or gotten one; seems like it would sent the wrong message. It's the only thing that makes the deal make sense though.)

And, um... *hugs*? Mushbuddies are hard to find. I know I shouldn't complain to you, but I'm about to give two completely unreciprocated Valentine's presents to men who are going to squint at me with that "This better not mean the ho is gonna get all clingy and shit" look.

I swear, I could tell strangers on the bus "I really like you as a person" and get a less uncomfortable response.

Mushbuddies are hard to find.Are they? This is one of those things where I don't know if I can trust my judgment. It certainly doesn't seem as if being single and celibate for years is common.

Thinking about the people in my office, for instance, singles are outnumbered at around six to one. If you include only people around my age, it might get down to four to one.

Among the people I went to college with, I'm aware of only a handful who are single. If you exclude from that group the people who have recently been in relationships, it gets down to two. (The other is a narcissist with a mustache and D cups.) And this is a group that marries and has kids relatively late in life.

It's possible that the miserable unwashed masses of singles have simply escaped my notice, but I think it's more believable that they're having miserable unwashed relationships.

By the way, if you're looking for more snark fodder:http://www.doubleyourdating.com/http://www.doubleyourdating.com/Mastery/

Bruno - I've actually gotten to the age where I look around and I see people in my cohort living together, marrying--even breeding for Chrissakes, and I don't figure I'll do that before thirty.

(The other day a resident's family brought in a toddler great-grandson and I was playing with him at the nurses' station. Someone asked me "is that your kid?" And I got a little chill when I realized that was a plausible question.)

My only sour-grapes comfort is that a whole lot of these marriages end with shocking rapidity. I'm not a "marriage is forever" fanatic obviously, but my coworkers seem to go through about a man a year--I've heard the phrase "my asshole fourth husband" from women in their thirties.

So, um... maybe when you and I finally find love (um I don't mean like that) it'll be really quality love, right?

I can't articulate myself in less than 5000 words so I have to add one more thing:

I think a lot of people conflate sex and love to the point where having sex a bunch of times in a row is reason enough to say "I love you" and "let's get married." If you're determined to only have sex with someone you love... I bet you fall in love a lot faster.

Separating love and sex is good for your sex life and seems morally right to me, but it does have that downside of making love even more elusive.