DAVID Blaine. Only 36, the nice Brooklyn-born man has already been suspended, iced, hung, starved, drowned, entombed, fro zen, chained. A Houdini or a Hou- don’t, this endurance artist, master magician illusionist does what no other human dead or alive does. Why, is something else. Tall, handsome, intelligent, well-read, he really should get himself a job. Like maybe be an accountant or something. But, anyhow, he makes money (I just saw him dining at the Waverly Inn) with TV specials as he breaks the all-time record of holding his breath underwater or the amount of swords swallowed — and who the hell even knew there were such world records to break.

And why am I telling you this? Because having hung already from a gyroscope, sealed in a tomb over the Thames 44 days, hoisted on a pillar 35 hours someplace, suspended upside down over the Wollman Rink, lain in a 3-ton water tank seven days on 68th and Riverside Drive — what’s left?

The ocean. The Pacific isn’t terrific, so whatever the thing is he’ll attempt, look for it in the Atlantic.

MICHAEL Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones can no longer eat at Aqua, the Douglas family hashery in Bermuda. It closed to become residential units . . . New lure for Atlantic City’s Resorts: party with Dan Aykroyd, actually meet him, take a photo with him and receive a bottle of free vodka . . . Now, Streisand‘s coming book “Passion for Design” about how she did her house. The industry says it’ll sell four copies because who really cares. So why’d Viking do it? To keep her warm for that someday autobio . . . After 30 years the divorce of Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal‘s parents — screenwriter Naomi Foner and director Stephen Gyllenhaal — has them selling their Martha’s Vineyard home in Chilmark. It’s up for $1.6 mil.

BEST-SELLING author Amy (“The Joy Luck Club”) Tan opened her SoHo duplex so a collection of high-class types who love Chinese food could fete Lisa See. So who’s she? Another best-selling author whose newest is “Shanghai Girls.” So what’s this round-eyed blonde know from that? “I’m part Chinese,” she told me as I shoveled in noodles, dumplings and rice cakes. The book’s about two sisters and arranged marriage in heady rich 1937 Shanghai.

So what do the top 10 percent of the world talk about at a glitzy gathering? Amy Tan talked about her baby Yorkie who’d just had surgery to repair a cleft palate. Wendi Murdoch explained she’d already had dinner at the unglamorous hour of 6 o’clock because she ate with her children. Lizzie, the wife of Barry Humphries, a k a female impersonator Dame Edna, discussed her aloneness because he’s doing a one-man (one-woman? one-person?) show in San Diego.

There’s probably lots more for me to have noted down, but navigating a pen and paper with chopsticks isn’t easy.

ONE more story about the rich and fa mous. This man has a private plane. But because Obama schlepped into LA for a fund-raiser, airspace over Southern California in terms of small aircraft was blocked from 1:30 p.m. Wednesday to 7:40 a.m. Thursday. Result? The man and family had to overnight in their hotel suite and assorted rooms. That was $3,000. The plane, delayed three hours in takeoff at $5,000 an hour? Another 15 grand. The crew cost $1,800 for the layover plus rooms and food. Having lost his assigned Teterboro landing slot, he had to divert to White Plains, then order cars at an additional $500. And, due in Boston, he’d have driven but had to use his plane because he was late. He says Obama cost him $30,000.

LAUNCHES: JetBlue’s June 17 inaugural JFK to LAX flight will haul VIPs, party them at My House in LA (whose Wednesday regulars include L. DiCaprio) with Nicole Richie‘s guy, deejay Joel Madden, overnight them, then cart them back to civilized NYC next day.

THE Obamas did Broadway. She in arm less, backless, sideless, long, like for a black-tie bar mitzvah. The P of the USA on a Saturday night at theater was open collar, tieless. Like for bowling. As if they were heading to two different events . . . And Prince Harry did polo. Watching was designer Marc Jacobs, who featured three diamond studs. Not easy when you only have two ears. His boyfriend wore a skirt. Not a kilt. Not a dhoti. Real lady’s skirt. Best dressed — in khaki suit, Vuitton tie, white shirt — LL Cool J.

TWO gays in the East Village: “Three things not to be forgotten. One, tulle must never occupy your wardrobe. Two, under no circumstances mix narcotics with martinis. Three, ‘sympathy,’ in the dictionary, is between s – – – and syphilis.”