In today’s devotion, I share the story of the cripple in Acts 3 who is healed when Peter and John reach out in the power of the name of Jesus. When I recently read this story with a fresh set of eyes, I was surprised to see that shortly after experiencing this miraculous healing, this man needed someone to lean on.

We all need the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to set us free, and we will often need someone to hold on to as we walk out that healing day by day.

It may seem strange to you that I would choose to focus on healing, especially in cases of mental health when it is the 4th of July. 4th of July … the day in America when we celebrate freedom.

For many, freedom, especially mental and emotional freedom, is something they long for, but struggle to find. This can be especially true for those in our armed forces. What is true for our military members is also true for many people in general:

This is so true, especially in the body of Christ. Seeking medical help and counseling is often viewed as a lack of faith, being weak or that one is not “believing” in Jesus for all of their needs.

Yet, if we have a love one who is diagnosed with diabetes or cancer, we would not say, “You should trust God. Don’t take insulin. Do not get chemo-therapy treatment.” Mental health is an issue we need to learn more about and make progress in breaking stigmas.

In Acts 3, nothing in this passage indicates that the beggar’s healing was incomplete because he needed to lean on someone. In fact, later in Acts 4:10, Peter reiterates that the man who was crippled after 40 years was healed. Yet in his healing, he still needed a little help.

Ecclesiates 4:9-12 shines this truth, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him — a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (ESV)

Here are 5 ways you can support someone struggling with mental illness:

1. Learn about mental illness.

Taking the time to learn about a loved one’s particular mental illness says, “I care about you.” The class I I mentioned in my devotion today is called “Family-to-Family” and is offered through NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness. This class, taught by a person who also has a family member with a mental illness or experiences it themselves really helped me to understand all types of mental illness.

There are also books written for those who love people with a variety of brain disorders.

2. Go to counseling with them.

For my daughter, regular counseling helps her to keep moving forward in overcoming Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder and managing bi-polar disorder. When Madi first went to counseling, I went first; once by myself and then with her. Again, taking the time and making the effort to come alongside our

loved one can help provide the support they need.

3. Ask questions.

Society has so many stereo-types and stigmas when it comes to mental health. Movies or shows have formed incorrect ideas. When we ask questions directly to our loved one in a caring way, we open the door for them to share their struggles with us. This can help them to not feel so alone when mental illness is still so taboo in our culture.

4. Be a good listener.

Every person needs to talk and to be heard; those who struggle with mental health are no different.

Listen without trying to fix them. I really wrestled with this before I began to understand my daughter’s struggle. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say about how she felt. It sounded to me like she was putting herself down. What she was doing was crying out for help.

5. Be a safe zone.

Again, our loved ones need a place to share and not have what they are sharing held against them. They need us to be a safe place to speak truthfully.

Learn about mental illness is the step that caught my eye.Its true mental illness is still viewed in some communities as taboo or a bad thing to talk about. People still need a lot of education about it. The fact is that anyone can be a victim of of the mental illnesses.Being a social worker i come across a lot of people with mental illness e.g. suicidal or due to failure to accept a chronic condition. What is important is to separate the mental illness from the person. Look at the condition that the person has which should trigger the need to help.Do not label.

Thank you for highlighting mental illness. I’ve been a speaker for NAMI In Our Own Voice, a recovery presentation. Relying on the Lord through prayer and studying His Word is critical, but so is having friends strong in faith to talk to who won’t judge. I’ve seen many Christians try to help but end up hurting people who are already suffering by saying “you must not be praying enough, you just need to have more faith, just believe God has healed you and you should throw out your medications…” instead of understanding 2 Cor 12:9 ” “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” and seeing how He can use our stories to be a blessing as you did today.

One more idea:
I was praying about this and the story in John 9:1-3 came to me. So many times in mental illness, people blame the person or family just as the disciples did as they saw a man born blind.
“”Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. 2 And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him. ”
Shifting from fault to acceptance, treatment and coping while not believing the stigma in society is a beginning.

Yes, Elizabeth. You can’t imagine how many times as a mother I have looked at the broken places of my children and asked myself, “What did I do?” Of course my husband and I were less than perfect parents, but more than that, the devil hates us. Every one of us who follow the Mighty King are on his hit list and we can never, ever forget that.

That verse is one I rely on as I’m simply shattered. I lost my 15-year-old daughter Ciara 13 weeks ago to suicide. The Lord is holding me up but I’m beyond broken. Our story is here: http://www.tinyurl.com/Ciara-Whitney

Please pray for us. My son, husband and I need all the healing prayers we can get and the issues of mental illness and suicide prevention need awareness so others don’t suffer as my daughter did.

Dear Karen – anything I think to say sounds trite, empty. Tears roll down my face as my heart breaks for you, friend. My girl was also severely depressed when she was 15 … only I had no idea. I thought it was “normal” teenage emotions. Can I pray for you?

Dear Jesus, oh, Lord! We just can’t make it without You. We are desperate for You to come and hold us. Thinking about going on tomorrow is just too much. Hold us today, Jesus. Help Karen and her family give themselves time to heal. Help them to sit at Your feet while You heal the crushed places. Thank you. You are the only One who really understands us, Lord. Amen

Hi Lynn
I have seizures , and live at CMHA. Candiadian Mental Heath Association residence so I know how, and what you are feel . I have lived here for awhile ,and I believe God is going to heal me whether on earth or in heaven he
Is me everyday where ever I am do . It is good to learn about mental Heath and how you can help.

Hi Lynn,
Thank you for writing this article. I’m a 50 y/o woman who comes from a family of mental illness. I’m a third generation with chemical deficiency that causes depression because of negative thoughts that consume my mind without the help of SSRI’s, etc. As a Christian, I’ve reached out to older woman for help in my church, but they haven’t known how to handle my inconsistent moodiness, and have pulled away. It’s been lonely, knowing I can’t let others know about my struggles for fear of loosing a possible friendship. So thankful though for the Lord’s help and my husband’s love through my struggles!
While God has been my comforter and my Help, I want to be able to help others who struggle with mental illnesses, too. Because I haven’t known how, I want to gain insight and be the kind of friend others need. After all, if we can’t swim, how can we teach others how to keep their head above water and kick to keep from going under?
I look forward to implementing each step into my own life and help others do the same.

Lynn…my son was the one who struggled. Our home was his safe zone where his ADD and OCD was understood and he was loved. He was finally moved away where he changed from this rebellious young man into a man of responsibility and family. He represents a worldwide company. His family recently moved home….this time to take care of me…a company transfer at his request….but in this I see the need to still be his safe zone ….because now he is the safe zone for his wife …whose youth life makes his look like a day at Disney World.

Being a good listener…. Listen without trying to fix it…this one stood out to me a great deal. I always try to add my two cents or advice in some way. When I know myself that sometimes I don’t want to be told this is what I do or what you need to do. Sometimes I just need to know that someone is listening.

Step 4 spike to me. My daughter struggles with an eating disorder, anxiety disorder, and depression along with epilepsy. As a mom, I want to fix this for her. I don’t want her to be sad. I don’t want her to feel alienated and alone because other peers choose to not stand by her. I want to take it away. In reading this, I need to just listen and let her know she is heard. In doing this, I am giving her that listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Unless you have been through something like this as a mom or as the one going through it like my daughter, you can feel isolated and alone. I am so thankful that others are trying to understand and that our Heavenly Father is always there. God made my sweet girl and loves her.

This is awesome and so timely. In my walk to freedom I am learning I have the victory and it’s hard to remember and sort out the truth with all the mixed messages around me. The truth is I am loved and it’s okay to reach out for help as I learn to stand on my own, but also knowing I am never on my own because I am God’s beloved and part of His family.

Being a good listener spoke to me. Thanks for putting emphasis on Acts 3:13 – I know the story, but I had not realized after the beggar was healed that he still held on tightly to Peter and John. God created us to need others.

As the Mother of a Bi Polar Son, I applaud you for this devotional. My Son is now 47 and is living in a Home for the Mentally Ill. We are Blessed to be able to love these Precious residents, and value them as the wonderful people that God has created them to be.

Thank you for highlighting this very real situation in so many people’s lives. My Mom struggles with anxiety and depression and I have two friends who struggle with it as well…I’ve also been focusing on learning as much as I can about mental illness so that I can come alongside them, even when I don’t understand it personally.
I would love to have a copy of your book to share the Biblical truths about WHO they are in Christ. They are daughters of the Most High King, and THAT is what makes them loved and worthy.
Thanks again so much 🙂
I’m meeting with them today and I’m ‘all in’ for being an extended shoulder of Jesus!

Be a safe zone. Been struggling for almost a year with our daughter and we are finally peeling the layers back to see she is clinically depressed and we need to be a safe place for her to land, to cry, to question or just to be still. I would love your book as I too believe she needs to know more how she is loved and viewed by our Savior.

I take medication for anxiety and depression. People are often shocked when they learn that I am on medication for this. So often I want to help so badly that I forget to stop and listen. This entire blog spoke to me and reminded me of what I still need today. I still need people around me holding me up. I fight the urge to run and hide often but with Gods strength my family and church family I continue to stand and keep walking. Its okay to ask for help.

Going to counseling is a big part of dealing/coping with mental illness. The biggest part of that is finding the right counselor. Being a diligent advocate for yourself or your family member in this step will make all a
the difference.

All the steps spoke to me. My niece just recognized she is dealing with mental illness & I want to help but wasn’t sure how.. It is hurtful & you feel helpless when you hear how their emotions betray them. Also learning how to support my godchildren through this new chapter would help. I can share your book with my niece.

All the steps spoke to me. My niece just recognized she is dealing with mental illness & I want to help but wasn’t sure how.. It is hurtful & you feel helpless when you hear how their emotions betray them. Also learning how to support my godchildren through this new chapter would help. I can share your book with my niece.

A family member and several friends have mental health issues. Unfortunately, early on I did not understand much about mental illness and, therefore, did not listen well nor was I a safe zone for them. I can relate to wanting to fix them because it broke my heart to see them hurting so much. I still have more to learn about this illness. I want to be a better listener so anyone who comes to me will feel heard and safe. I’m in!

God’s word spoke to me helping me to better understand why all of us need a shoulder to lean on but particularly why some hold onto me. Some may call me an enabler; others say I am loving my son to death. My son is an addict, but I believe addiction is merely a symptom or result of an undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. So often I am trying to find someone who will be able to reach him, understand him, cure him. Sometimes I feel that God has discarded him and it is up to me to find a way. How wrong am I to think such things? I know God has a purpose and a plan. Perhaps it is time for me to lean on instead of being leaned upon? Thank you for your message today. It has truly spoken to me! God Bless!

Lisa – in my class I learned that they believe that up to 50% of those who suffer with addiction are those who are self-medicating a mental illness. It sure makes sense to me. Holy Spirit, give Lisa the wisdom You promise us in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom let him ask of God who gives to all liberally…” Give her wisdom and insight she needs to respond to her son the way Your love would compel her to. Amen

My husband has bipolar I and will not stay on meds…he claims nothing prescribed has ever helped him. Instead he (& our family) is on a constant roller coaster with periods of him “self-medicating”. He’s not a at all “functional addict”. When he’s using, he’s basically homeless. He has sunk us into financial ruin and left me to care for our 3 boys (12, 9, 6) who all have some challenges (ADHD, anxiety) And obviously, sadness and anger over what they see. I try to shelter them as much as possible, but it’s getting harder. I am at a loss for how to manage and raise my boys on my own…and honestly, I am angry too. I pray and pray and pray for guidance, help, healing — anything. And I hear nothing. I’m also mad at how hard it is to get help in our country. I work my rear end off, pay $600/mo for health insurance premiums — yet getting them to cover treatment (mental health or addiction) is a joke. I have asked them if they are waiting for him to kill himself before they will approve residential treatment. I have nothing but the wreckage of mental illness. Being a safe place has never helped — only hurt me & my kids. People don’t like to hear about mental illness when it’s really serious…someone’s a little down, sure…but when someone is desperately mental ill, doors close quietly…even at church.

Thank you for speaking up on this so often neglected and misunderstood topic. All suffer – everyone – from something at sometime. Yet, the stigma and lack of compassion remains strong regarding mental illness. Thank you for speaking truth.

Learn about mental illness spoke to me because I think often times we want to help but we don’t know what they’re going through and therefore can’t fully help. That’s why if we understand their mental illness, were more equipped to help.

It all spoke to me; you see, after having my 34 year old son living in our home for five years, we told him no more. He doesn’t believe he needs help. He’s bi-polar with degrees in psychology and sociology. We had him evaluated, and the psychiatrist released him after two days. We don’t have any idea where he is now. We told him at the hospital he couldn’t come home, that he needs help. Now he’s out there somewhere with no money, food, shelter, or clothing.
Our mental health system in this country is where we really need help. We all have rights, but our 10 year old would still have an appendectomy if needed even if he said he didn’t want it. Why can’t we advocate for legally adult persons who we know need help, but are afraid or unwilling?

God is good. I believe my son will be healed and I praise God in the storm.

Yes, yes and yes, friend! In my NAMI class, I heard this scenario over and over … adult children who would not admit that there was a problem or would not stay in treatment or on medication. My heart breaks for you. I know you are learning a degree of trust in the Lord many of us may never reach.

I cannot agree with you more about the trouble with our mental health system. So much to be fixed.

Be a safe zone spoke to me. My brother has suffered from mental illness his entire life. I am the only person in the family that has stood beside him. But I realize that I can be judgmental & short with him. I need to be his safe zone, always.

I have a frind who struggles with deep depression. I feel being a good listener is the best thing i can do. I care so much about her that i can be a fixer at times.. So i am really trying to just lisen and love her

It is so hard to refrain from being a “fixer” when your child is clinically depressed, yet it must be done. It was only through my relationship with Christ that I was even able to start to “let go” of that all consuming desire.

Actually all of the steps. After staying in a marriage where It seemed my husband was just depressed and an alcoholic who relapsed yet again. I thought the thing to do was get out. I accompanied him to a doctors appointment recently to ask questions after yet another relapse and the physician brought up the possibility that he may be bipolar. My husband is scared yet relieved that this may explain why he’s never felt normal. He confessed he’s scared because of society, he is a highly functioning professional despite what we already knew of depression and alcoholism. He is ready to try and get into psychiatrist for further answers and additional help. I am not always the most encouraging individual and so your blog really spoke to me as to ways that I can be helpful and encouraging to him regardless of the outcome of my marriage. Thank you for being God’s messenger to me today.

Tara – that is exactly how Madi felt when her counselor of many years suggested bipolar as her diagnosis. Glad to finally figure out what was going on and sad that she finally found out what was going on. But we have found that education and information has been powerful. I now know how to pray and what to believe for as she moves forward and grasps God’s healing!

This is a sweet story of struggle and a Big Truth of how we still need others even beyond initial ‘miracles’ of healing. Asking prayer for relationship with my daughter and ongoing challenges of borderline personality disorder. When she was a teenager I tried to provide resources for her despite wrestling with a failing marriage and returning to school for a 2nd (marketable) degree. She moved out at 18, and our communication is always spotty. Most do not, cannot, understand the ups and downs of this illness. Even now my tears flow freely composing this. It’s difficult to be the perpetual ‘giver’ opening my home to her and my 3 YO granddaughter, and her husband, and not hear from her despite (judicious) texts and calls. I know it will likely be an ongoing struggle, and my strength only comes from God’s grace, but how my heart aches for her and her family. Thank you for your words of encouragement, and acknowledgment of the deep sadness of mental illness. I have seen miracles with her, and I believe her heart turns toward Jesus’ light. Pray that we might listen ‘harder’ to those in need, whether it be the afflicted, or those who just need someone to walk beside them as they carry the ‘hearthurt’ of friends/family. ?

I highly recommend NAMI – the National Alliance for Mental Illness and their Family-to-Family classes. They also have support groups for family members. It helped me so much to hear from other parents who were also hurting and looking for answers. I learned a lot about treatment, medicines, how to handle conflict. I think the most powerful lessons I learned were what to and not to say. Those classes have helped to strengthen my relationship with my daughter and be the support she needs me to be.

Thank you – I often just fill my life with distractions, thinking its “just my cross” to bear – I’m realizing a martyr approach only adds to sorrow in the long term…I need support and will look into NAMI. Blessings…..?

Listening without trying to fix is so hard! Seeing your child hurt can rip my heart out! Thank you for being “real” and allowing others to see they are not alone with issues like these in your devotion. I hope society can begin to see mental issues the same as physical issues. If more people, including myself, would be willing to share personal stories of struggles the stigma may eventually lessen. Thank you so much!!

Thank you, Lori. I am honestly not that brave. It’s my daughter. She started sharing publicly this past spring because she wanted to help others who deal with mental illness to know they are not alone. She started a blog at http://www.MadiCowell.com for this purpose. How can I not be brave when my girl is being so vulnerable?

According to my daughter, the key to asking questions is the tone of voice and the wording.

So often, she could tell that the reason for my questions were because I wanted her to move on. To not bring her sadness into the family and “pull us down” or negatively impact the mood in the house. Asking questions because I care, while leaving room for her to be able to not share, has helped a lot.

Having someone in my family who suffers from Bipolar Disorder, I often need to be reminded to be a safe zone. So often as women we do want to fix things. I really appreciated this devotional and topic! It is so important to spread knowledge and compassion for mental illness since it often still appears to be a topic that no one wants to talk about.

So true, Melody! It makes us uncomfortable because we don’t understand. I think as believers, we also are not sure how mental illness and faith in Jesus mesh. It is time for us, His church, to begin to learn, pray and invite the Holy Spirit to do His work in us and through us as we reach out to embrace and bring His compassion to those He loves.

Wow! This couldn’t have been more timely! Our family has been struggling with this, and despite many outsiders ‘advice’ to give up, I and we are choosing what God calls us to do – and that is to be there to offer support. Miracles still happen, but we are called to do our part in faith too. Thanks so much for this post!

My son struggles with bipolar disorder and paranoia. Understanding and having knowledge is the key. Loving him through it and defending him from critics who belittle him is another way that I love him. And of course prayer, for me, for him, for understanding is the glue that holds us all together.

Jennifer, your statement “critics who belittle him” makes me so very sad. We would never put down a person with cancer or other illness,but somehow we think it is perfectly fine to make comments about those whose illness is not so visible. Before I understood what my girl was going through, I would often think, “Why doesn’t she just get over it? Why does she have to let her emotions take over?” Learning more about bipolar, OCD and the many mental illnesses has helped me to become a more compassionate mom and a more understanding person to all people in general. I am learning to not look at situations and take them at face value. We never know what is going on inside a person.

Be a safe zone – this works both ways for my daughter and I. I can go to her when I see patterns of behavior starting to creep in and she can come to me when she needs help. We speak truth to each other and pray.

Dee – I’ve been learning that we don’t like to look at or talk about what we don’t understand. It makes us uncomfortable; fearful. The more education I have gotten, the more I am willing to talk about and move forward with my girl. It’s not easy, but it is better than the alternative which would be to alienate one I love so very, very much!

There is mental illness in my family so this article spoke very much to me personally, especially as I have been wrestling with depression these last six months. Many points resonated with me including finding a safe zone, a good listener and someone who will ask questions… shared these exact concerns with my husband last night. I especially liked this…
” I really wrestled with this before I began to understand my daughter’s struggle. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say about how she felt. It sounded to me like she was putting herself down. What she was doing was crying out for help. ”
I see myself having done that – wanting to be real & vulnerable, trying to share my burdens but questioning whether it’s safe to do so… does the person care or do they just expect me to get over it & move on…
Would love to read this book!

I think it is so important to be a good listener in order to build good relationships with anyone. We must let others know that we care and they are valuable by listening and seeking to understand them.

I’m usually a good listener, but I am reluctant to ask probing questions. Maybe that’s because whenever I’ve needed someone to listen to me, I usually become the subject to be “fixed”. I don’t want to fix another. Really, no one can fix someone else. That’s God’s perogative and only He can do it.

Thank you for reminding me that I can ask questions gently and in love and listen and be that safe zone another needs.

Learnng more about mental illness is key to listening better and asking caring instead of probing questions. Today’s devotional inspired me to reach out to my local NAMI to learn more about how to best support our daughter, who lives in another city. My husband and I are assured that the Holy Spirit can transform our daughter…and us. God has also provided resources to help us to the other side of managing life with mental illness, as a family. Thank you Lynn, for your transparency and encouragement to seek understanding as we step forward in faith and love.

Thank you for your insight. I am trying to deal with these issues on several fronts in my family and will check out the NAMI resources and would love to read the book. I have been trying to work the 5 steps with my sister and have been blessed by seeing real progress in her walk and ability to cope with the world. Blessings to you!

Being a good listener struck a chord with me. My daughter suffers from anxiety and depression and is on the autism spectrum. She sees things very differently than I do. I need help in just listening to her and validating her rather than trying to “fix” her. I’d love the book to help her! Thank you!

Someone in my family is taking the steps to seek out answers and help for what I believe is a family tendancy toward depression and maybe something more. I recently went with her to some of her Dr’s apts and listened as she talked. She was very encouraged by that help, which to me seems so small. As we pursue answers, I think gaining more understanding would be my next focus that you mentioned! I’m going to check out the organization you recommended. It’s also something I would like to know more on, since my Grandma is having issues with Demntia and I would love to be able to understand more about it. Also, I think its just good information to have with so many people struggling with so many different issues around me and I would love to have a better idea of how to help. And maybe also understanding of when I can’t really help. Thank you for sharing!

A young woman that I know has experienced many traumas in her life from the loss of a baby conceived through pre-marital sex, a quick marriage that ended in divorce, sexual abuse from a patron at a restaurant where she worked, to depression riddled with some self-harming behaviors. I am trying to mentor this young woman and guide her to the truths of God’s Word. I know that she has had an encounter with the Lord during her teenage years, but she is not completely sold that God is the answer to all of her needs. Please help me guide her to the truths found in God

I’ve just befriended someone who struggles with mental illness and a drug addiction. I went to pick her up for a girls afternoon and found her in despair. I feel so ill equipped. But, God is so good and when we are weak, He is strong. I came across this article at just the right time. I love how God provides wisfom & encouragement even when we aren’t sure where to find it!

Being a good listener and a safe spot spoke to me. My niece is struggling right now as a result of her parents’ divorce. I’ve just spent a week with her and her deep pain breaks my heart. It’s so easy to offer advice and talk, yet it’s so important to just be a safe spot, a shoulder to lean on, and a non-judging listening ear. Thank you for this important devotion and blog post that spoke straight to me.

Being a safe zone. I think I’m a good listener but my personality is also to fix everything. It’s hard for me to remember that sometimes all someone needs is a listener to feel safe with, not offer answers or opinions. I’m going to focus on listening and then just praying. Thanks for the reminder.

We have a daughter with bi-polar illness. She was homeless and moved back n in with us. She’s 34. We’re trying to help her get ba c k on her feet with treatment and getting a full time job. Her improvement seems slow but sure. Good to here there is help and info out there for those of us that are trying to help a loved one.

I am 75 and one of my cousins suffers with ADHD and depression. She is one of 7 children and all of her siblings have become discouraged with her and pretty much abandoned her. I think I’m the only family member who still spends time with her. Even her two sons have lost interest. But I feel I haven’t been as helpful as I could have been. Your post has given me some great ideas of how I might be much better at loving her. Thank you for these wonderful insights!

Many people in my family have struggled with mental illness, including myself, and now my son. He is struggling with deep depression for which he had to be hospitalized. Watching his struggle is so much worse than working through my own issues. I want to be someone he can hold onto as he heals. I need to be a better listener.

I’m in what you say and how you say it, the words you choose, and the tone of your voice are really big I feel when speaking with are 45 year old son who worked full-time and put himself through college graduated on time with a degree in economics. He is a dad, husband, at one point successful in the business world, bipolar, an addict, a convicted felon, and now facing illegal drug prescription charges. I truly believe it all goes back to his mental illness, dIagnosed, but currently untreated, inherited through me, on antidepressants and anxiety meds, and back further to my dad who dealt with manic depression, schizophrenia, and alcoholism, but who put us through c through college, and retired from Shell Oil. He functioned well but had lapses of mental illness issues, complete with shock treatment. Self-medication, frustration, anger hype are so evident in our son as he waits in jail. I know God can heal all these issues and return him to his happy-go-lucky funny, fun, successful, contented lifestyle with his sons and I thank him for that if we can just stay out of His way and cover our son with prayer and encouragement. Our son is so extremely gifted and I thank God for that as well

Thank you for the insight. The one that spoke to me the most, was listening without trying to fix. As a mom, it is my nature to want to make it better, but the power of Jeaus is stronger than anything I can say or do. We are trusting in Him on this journey and are praising Him for growing us closer to Him through all of this.

Thank you for writing this. I have struggled with mental illness my entire life, at times it has seemed like I’m losing the struggle. I think when you suggested “ask questions”…that one spoke to me. So many times when I have gotten the courage to open up to a fellow Christian, I get the “eyes glazed over” look. Questions demonstrate that you aren’t afraid to learn. It does help me feel closer to those who are curious. I think most would be happy to answer questions, especially if they took the initiative in sharing.

I have a MI and my family and most friends don’t want to deal with it. I’m also beginning the slow journey of recovering from trauma and its taking its toll on me physically as well as emotionally, and on my poor, sweet little girl. I feel so broken, it’s difficult to care for her and the many other responsibilities I’m facing. I pray for strength, wisdom, discernment, peace and joy, and thank Him for His blessings and presence. I just don’t feel it. Am I sinning against Him?

The timing and subject matter of the messages received by Proverbs 31 Ministries, are of more than amazement. You have to believe that God is guiding us through our days with messages of hope and direction, for our needs at that very moment.
The steps you list are all important. Getting a love one to recognize and seek professional treatment, the same as you would if you needed to treat a physical or dental need, is so so difficult. If not impossible. Especially if they have been taught that mental health needs is a sign of weakness. Even if you are lucky enough to get them into the medical care needed, it does not mean that they will continue the course.
As you said. Before it is too late. Before relationships are broken, and hurt. Before they fall too far away.

Thank you for this…as always God has His way of letting us know that He is here and He hears us. I just started counseling at a Christ based service. I have been feeling like maybe I shouldn’t because I need to not rely on people. However….I need to love me… so I can love those around me. And I need some help doing that. Mental illness can be devastating…I have seen it firsthand. So I pray that your words help many hurting people. Our God is an awesome God!

Being a good listener and a safe spot are very important to me. I am a mentor for the Titus 2 group in our church and want to be trusted by my team members. I take everything to the Lord and never share what is said to me.

I enjoyed reading your article today. I suffer from depression from time to time. I do take medication, and God has always been faithful to deliver me from this. It seems to be an ongoing battle but one which I have learned to press through each time and eventually find myself on the winning side. Thank you for bringing this subject to light. I feel the church should address this more often.

Step number four really spoke to me, I just want someone to listen without constantly offering advice or solutions. I have been working hard to live with this my whole life, your simple sentiment that, “You don’t HAVE to act this way.” Doesn’t help. But i wanted to thank you for posting this. It helps!

Lynn, it is good to be reminded that it’s okay to need someone to lean on. I’d love the book, but definitely want prayers as I and my husband are heavily grieving a miscarriage. It’s been several months, but going through this grief is way more difficult than any I’ve ever experienced. My heart goes out to anyone else dealing with that heartache, whether it was 2 days or 2 decades ago.

Step 4, be a good listener. I think we all want to solve others issues for them but what they really need from us is to truly listen. Listen and showing you care for them and are there for them 100% because everyone needs that person in their lives.

I’m in! There’s a history of mental illness in my family so thank you for sharing your story. It is so good to know that we are not alone! I have a dual diagnosis which means I suffer from a mental illness – schizoaffective disorder (which is a combination of schizophrenic symptoms and bi-polar symptoms) and am also in recovery from alcoholism/drug addiction. I am lucky to have a very supportive family and sponsor in the AA program. I went to the peer-to-peer group offered by NAMI which was very helpful in learning more about my illness and to get support from others suffering from their own illnesses. Since moving to Garden Grove, CA from Ocala, FL on Dec. 1, 2012 I have helped raise money for NAMI on their annual 5K walks which the choir which I used to belong to sang at. Thank God for NAMI – National Alliance for Mental Illness!

Hi Lynn, I’m in…..they all spoke to me…as I feel each of the 5 are equally important! My son has bipolar, depression and ADD. He had been hospitalized 2 times and was suicidal 3! I praise God for keeping him safe through this journey that he is on. He lives far away from us with his wife. I’m thankful she is supportive, but has been difficult for her and all of us. It is so hard to be supportive being so far away from him. I pray constantly for his recovery as this is a minute by minute worry that I’m going to get that dreaded phone call.

I m so thankful to God for resources like this and a support system through women of God whom we can lean on and to pray for each other Amen! My mother suffered also with mental illness n now I am dealing with depression and anxiety. It is good to know we have Godly women in the world who are a support system. Praise!! Our Awesome God for His Great Compassion, His Awesome grace and His tender mercies every day for women.

Your comments in this devotional were very helpful to me. I have some issues with those who are mentally ill and need any help I can get! To listen without judgment and not try to “fix” the person is so crucial. We all need someone who will come alongside us and give hope and encouragement. May God give us wisdom and sensitivity to others who are hurting, whether mentally, physically or emotionally. Thanks for your words.

I’m in. Being an advocate for the mentally ill is a part of my ministry … why I have been placed on this earth. I was the first born of five children. My mother was mentally ill her entire adult life. I was taught by my father who raised us, that somehow the illness was my mother’s fault. I believed that, well into my adult years. When I sought help from a counselor, she helped me understand that I had been brainwashed by my father regarding my mother’s mental illness. I was given, as a homework assignment, to visit my mother at least 50 times before coming back for counseling. In the process of completing the assignment, the Lord showed me how to love my mother unconditionally, just accepting her for who she was rather than who I wanted her to be. I did, and a miracle happened. She was partially healed right before my eyes, as the Holy Spirit spoke through me and she could receive because she knew I loved her unconditionally. A few years later, I led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. She died of a massive stroke, fully at peace with God. ‘Be a Safe Zone’

Being a safe zone really spoke to me. I’m struggling with OCD. Although I know that I’m never alone for God is with me, it can be really isolating. Being able to talk to someone in confidence without being judged makes a huge difference. It’s something that I really need and a way in which I hope to be able to encourage someone else who is in need too. Thank you.

Being A Good Listener was a good reminder for me. I try to listen but catch myself putting in my 2 cents in how to try and fix the problem (s). Thank you for your words of encouragement today. God bless you!

Number 2 really spoke to me. Often, we don’t want to seek out counsel due to embarrassment and shame. I’ve been there. A stressful 2-year period that broke my spirit led me to seek out counseling from a wise, Christian woman and I am forever grateful. People who need counseling need to know that others support them – whether they go with them or just support them in the process and through prayer. I came out of that period stronger, better, and clearly understanding that Jesus was there all along, even when I felt alone. Truth be told, we all need help from those who have been gifted with the ability to be the hands, feet, and shoulders of Jesus. Now I share with others who are struggling how counseling helped me and that having someone to help them is a gift of grace not a place of shame.

Funny your topic on mental illness would show up just as I am learning how to listen to my son and let him express himself…so this was a confirmation to me and a guide for me to know I’m doing the right thing…

I want to be a good listener for my family member, and I certainly don’t think I can fix her, but trying to get her not to put herself down may be doing just that without me realizing it. Mental illness is such a difficult thing to deal with, and I’m very glad you are addressing it. Thank you! I really want to read your book.

I’m in. I am an adoptive mom to a 24yr old son with autism and emotional disorder who has gone through the trauma of losing his birth mom, his first adoptive family and then my husband 8 years ago. He has a lot of attachment issues. I am also a step mom of almost 4yrs to two young men who lost their mom 6 years ago, the youngest suffering from being a drug baby and serious attachment issues. I am one needing to lean right now as I get the brunt of much of the backlash of their pain. I am often the one who has the shoulder to lean on but recently find myself too weary to stand much alone. Your devotion today was greatly appreciated. Thank you!

ASK QUESTIONS! It allows me a chance to talk and try to educate or explain what I am really thinking and feeling. I often feel shame and vulnerable and the simple act of connecting and gaining support helps free me from the anxiety and negativity.

Number 5: Be a Safe Zone really spoke to me! Coming from someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, a lot of my processing and understanding comes from being able to talk things out with someone. I love going to counseling but I also just enjoy those conversations that allow me to pour my heart out and be completely honest with someone, and myself, about how I am feeling. I think that it’s super important to have people not only your age that you can go to whenever you need someone to listen too but also having older people in your life is huge!

I’m in! I especially need to learn how to listen without trying to fix anything. I also do want to be a safe zone. My daughter has had severe depressive episodes for the past 5 years after having a severe mental side effect from a seizure medication. She also has OCD with terrifying intrusive thoughts. We’ve been asked by many different Dr’s about manic episodes which she hasn’t had ( but looking at hypomania this fits her). I am praying for the right diagnosis so she can get the right help. It is so hard to watch your child suffer. I amnpraying for the Holy Spirit to guide us and help me help her.

Thank you so much for sharing this blog on mental illness. I have lived with chronic debilitating pain 24/7 for over 30 years and have been diagnosed with major depression. I actually hit rock bottom after the unexpected death of my husband of 27 years and considered commiting suicide. Thank the good Lord, I texted my thoughts to one of my brothers and he called in help. I spent a week in the hospital and received counseling that made me aware of my triggers and taught me some coping techniques so that I can avoid relapsing like that again. I think that educating ourselves about mental illness is very important and helps to lift the stigma when someone we love, or we ourselves need to seek help. God is so infinitely good and loving to us and I rejoice in each day that he allows me to breathe and begin a new!

Thank you for your insight and courage to speak out and give such good advice. I have been a NAMI Family to Family facilitator, NAMI Basics teacher, and IOOV Coordinator for our local affiliate. The point of loving someone as they are, and not trying to change them, just loving and encouraging them to live their life with mental illness to the best of their ability, and accept and be a safe place of calm and comfort is the most difficult thing for me to do; but so necessary if I want to live in support of my family and friends with mental illness. Thank you for sharing your gifts of writing with others.

Depression has plagued me all my life. Finally at 48 years old I realize that God only wanted my total surrender to him. I’ve been a Christian all my life, but kept doing things on my own. My husband left me and our 3 children and is having an affair with my only friend. She has abandoned me too. ,,4weeks ago my husband came back only out of obedience to God but continue to talk to her, telling me he didn’t come back for me and loves her. I know I was horrible to him. He doesn’t want me and doesn’t want to work on our marriage. God is beginning to heal me, but I have no safe place or anyone to lean on that I can trust except him. God is working in his heart too, and I trust God is faithful. So much more to this. I am learning that since Christ is all I have, Christ is all I need. God will hold me, provide for our children, and will continue to work in me.

Thank you for this! My daughter was just released from a 2 week inpatient program, into another week of outpatient/day program for mental illness diagnosis. Yes, it is very difficult for any of us to understand mental illness. That is something she says to me “nobody understands”. What makes this even more difficult is that she is off to college, 9 hours from her entire family and doesn’t want to quit school out there and come back home. I’ve got a lot to learn. I love her more than breathing.
Again, thank you.

Ann , for what it is worth, her school may have resources and support services. Some universities near us have comfort animals and well staffed counseling offices. A nearby faith based private university offers no cost counseling to ther students. You and your daughter are not alone. I hope you can find some resources near her school if that is the path she chooses.

Thank you so much for the insight. We will look into the resources and support services through the school. I’m so grateful that she was brave enough to walk into the facility and ask for help. As we continue to pray…and watch. 🙂

Thank you for sharing this. As the mom of two adult children who struggle with mental health issues…it is a very lonely place. Helping to make others aware allows the few who choose it to walk beside our family and know how to pray for us.

Lynn-this is a very helpful post and discussion. When you went to the counselor first and later with your daughter, did you choose the counselor that seemed to be a good fit for you or your daughter? I remember when Madi posted about one year ago on your blog. I replied about developing a tool box of coping techniques. From my experience, things can peak and wane. Anxiety is especially fluid a continuum of mild to severe. OCD is like being stuck in overdrive.
My prayers are with you and Madi. She is not her diagnosis.

All I can say about Madi’s counselor is that the Lord is faithful. Morgan has been Madi’s counselor for many years. He has seen her ups and downs and knows just how to push her to grow, but not so much that she gives up. The Holy Spirit really speaks through him. She is learning to reprogram her mind, using Scripture, which is posted next to her bed. She uses techniques such as essential oils and night lights to go to sleep at night. She also has medications. She is partnering with Jesus and every day making progress. Thank you so much for asking!

This is helpful. Thank you! Similar situation here. I never thought about going in alone then asking daughter to come. NAMI is a great suggestion. On a personal note, I love lavendar (easy to grow by me). I have a small lavendar pack that can be heated, room temp or cool. I place it over my eyes and it is nirvana! Guaranteed sweet dreams (for me)! Your transparency is a blessing to many today.

My daughter was a victim of traumatic abuse by her father (who is no longer in any of our lives). She went through counseling as I did by myself and with her. This helped us form a strong support for one another. I also went to adult classes that involved moving on. All this counseling me and my daughter so much along with a strong faith in God. Eight years later, I have a high school honor graduate who has a full ride to a prestigious private college. The help she received helped her realize her potential and her faith in God’s purpose for her life pushed her to succeed and not be a sad statistic.

Be A Good Listener
Without trying to fix the other person or their problem.
This one Really stands out because for me when I care about someone then I want to try to help them and realizing that JUST LISTENING sometimes
IS HELPING THEM:)

I cannot stress enough how much this post means to me, and I hope, many like me.
I struggle with anxiety, depression and mild OCD. One day I want to become that safe zone for others who struggle.
I am currently needing someone to be my safe zone and shoulder to lean on, but in my strong moments, I ask God to let me be that shoulder. I have plans to start a non-profit art therapy center some day for those with mental illnesses, including PTSD as you mentioned our soldiers. All will come in time but it is hard not to get frustrated with myself and my seeming lack of progress in this area. This post was a much needed encouragement this morning. Thank you.

#4 listen! Wonder how that would change things I just stopped
and listened? It’s so hard to do. I want to be the safe place to land.
The ear that’s alway in tune. The mother/wife/sister/daughter seeking
After Gods own heart so that I can begin to understand the mental
Makeup of my own family. Hoping God will take my roots mixing them
With the love I should have for there.

Thank you, Lynn, for your devotional and this very practical supporting post. Most of us probably know someone who has some form of mental illness. I know several who struggle with depression and have learned that what keeps people from seeking help is either thinking they should be able to fix themselves or worrying what others would think if they knew. It’s very sad that things like this would keep us from seeking help. Thank you for bringing this into the light.

Thank you for being a courageous Christian by speaking up about mental illness. So often we are either told to believe God more or if you have a mental illness its because “the devil has a hold on you.” I’m a nurse who also struggles with depression and none of that is true. I do believe it is a medical issue that for some people medication can help, others may just need counseling. I do believe there is a place for God’s Word in all of this because we have all been told lies about who we are and what we can and can’t do. But the Bible says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. So I think all 5 are so important. The church needs to be a safe zone where people can have a mental illness and not be categorized, but loved just as Jesus loves all of us. Remember it is only by his grace we are all saved. So brothers and sisters let’s show those who struggle with mental illness and those who struggle to love those who have mental illness some grace and be a shoulder for them to lean on, an ear for them to just be heard, and stand up for them when they can’t do it on their own. As the Bible tells us to love one another.

I related to being a safe zone I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar illness. I need a safe zone amongst my family members, but they seem to want to avoid the issue so far NAMI has been my safe zone and God. I rely on God to pour my heart out to and obtain his unconditional love and acceptance for who I am. His peace is my safety zone.

Cathy – I am so sorry you are experiencing this lack of understanding with your family. I guess it is years of stigma that cause us to not want to understand what we don’t understand. I am so glad you have found Jesus to be Your rock and safe place!

Thank you for your words and encouragement. I recently lost someone close to suicide. There were signs everywhere but no one was able to stop it. I wish I could have done more or said something but I know it was his choice in the end.

Having worked in inpatient pysch for years as a nurse i would have thought i would recognize mental illness immediately and i usually do until i realized that my sister has probably been struggling with postpartum depression for the last 4 years. I came to this realization after she spiraled out of control taking pain pills and thought it wa just an addiction but she is truely depressed and having a hard time admitting it and seeking help she thinks everyone else is to blame for her problems. So to be that safe zone is tremendous for her she knows she can always call me when things are bad and i will not judge her. I know God is going to take care of her it is hard to watch your love one going down a path that you know is hurting them and not be able to fix it.

I don’t know why I didn’t read your post earlier. But I saved it. Since I was a little girl, approx. 8 years old, I have have known I was different. My family just said that’s her. Overly happy one minute, sobbing the next. At the age of 21 I was diagnosed with maniac depression. Instead of offering help, my husband and counselor tried to have me committed. I ran to my pastor. He saved me. Still I was uninformed of medication to help me. Years later while taking medication, some people at thechurch I was attending , said people with mental health issues were not praying enough, did not have faith etc. I did not share my condition with too many people fearing this reaction. Since I trusted my church elders, I went off my medication with disastrous results. I struggle with my illness, taking medication. I go long periods on again, off again with my medication. Thank you for your post. Your wisdom. And your live.

Oh Wilma – on behalf of the body of Christ – please forgive us for not understanding and for judging!

One of the things I learned at my NAMI class was the importance of consistency with medication. So many stories that I heard from the members who had family members struggling the most were those who went off their medication.

I believe, that I believe, that I believe that Jesus is the healer. I also believe that He can and does use modern medicine.

It was no accident that the Lord led me to a post from a couple of days ago. My daughter is also bipolar and has progressed into the manic episodes as well as depression. I have made so many mistakes in trying to understand and deal with her illness. I have grown so much in my walk with Christ and He has led me to incredible books, people and also NAMI that I have known about for four years., but just recently connected with.
My heart breaks for those who live with the stigma of mental illness and when in an episode run into relational problems that can lead to more serious consequences. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways on this journey and I ache to do His will for my daughter and those who do not understand or want to understand our journey.
My eyes are filled with tears as I read how so many are aching and yet leaning on Christ. I feel like this new connection is another avenue to being there for our daughter in the most Christ-like way.

Thank you so much for this wonderful post. All the tips are important, but # 1 and # 5 are the ones I want to focus on. My youngest daughter, almost 20 years old has Bi-Polar, ADD and anxiety. She moved back to my house 2 years ago. I encouraged her to go to a therapist, she is seeing a Psychiatric nurse practitioner, on 3 different medications. I think it would be good to see a counselor for talk therapy. I try to be “her shoulder” to lean on, but many times she is rude, angry and verbally abusive to me. I will definitely look into the resources, learn about mental illness and above all – PRAY!.

Cheryl….
Our daughter also can be so verbally abusive and destroys the very hearts of those who love her. Although her siblings struggle with how a mental disease can cause meanness (especially her younger brother)…..i pray and ask the Lord to protect their hearts and I try to slowly educate them with facts about the illness. Reading books on bipolar and NAMI support group help me to stay educated and sympathetic so I can provide information to family, store clerks, doctor ‘s offices who will no longer service her general medical needs …..it is not an excuse but an explanation for what she does. I have to reread things to remind myself that she did not choose this disease….it is not her fault.

Thank you for addressing this very important issue. Not surprised by all the posts. It’s sad that dealing with a family member who struggles with a mental illness is still kept hush hush. Once I started being open with people about my daughter’s struggles, it opened the floodgates and others started sharing their struggles. No one wants to talk about it but EVERYONE needs to! I never imagined I’d have a child on antidepressents, but I do and God is good! One verse I hold dear is to “pray for wisdom” in James 1. You have to educate yourself on the illness in order to truly understand and help your loved one. There are no shortcuts and no exceptions.

Thank you for this post. It’s hard because physically you look “normal” on the outside but are completely struggling within. We all have unique struggles and awareness to others about it is awesome. Thank you for bringing light to this issue. God bless you and your daughter.

Hello Lynn. The fourth point, that is, being a good listener, touched me. I have a friend like that. I don’t think I have listened to her enough. I’ve always wanted to just fix her. I’ll begin to listen to her more than before.