Chapter IX.

To an objection that the state of widowhood might indeed
be endurable if circumstances were pleasant, St. Ambrose replies that
pleasant surroundings are more dangerous than even trouble; and goes to
show by examples taken from holy Scripture, that widows may find much
happiness in their children and their sons-in-law. They should
have recourse to the Apostles, who are able to help us, and should
entreat for the intercessions of angels and martyrs. He touches
then on certain complaints respecting loneliness, and care of property,
and ends by pointing out the unseemliness of a widow marrying who has
daughters either married already or of marriageable age.

52. You have
learnt, then, you who are widows, that you are not destitute of the
help of nature, and that you can maintain sound counsel. Nor,
again, are you devoid of protection at home, who are able to claim even
the highest point of public power.

53. But perhaps some one may say that
widowhood is more endurable for her who enjoys prosperity, but that
widows are soon broken down by adversity, and easily succumb. On
which point not only are we taught by experience that enjoyment is more
perilous for widows than difficulties, but by the examples in the
Scriptures that even in weakness widows are not usually without
aid,335833581 Tim. v. 16. and that divine and human support is
furnished more readily to them than to others, if they have brought up
children and chosen sons-in-law well. And, finally, when
Simon’s mother-in-law was lying sick with violent fever, Peter
and Andrew besought the Lord for her: “And He stood over
her and commanded the fever and it left her, and immediately she arose
and ministered unto them.”33593359 S. Luke iv. 39.

54. “She was taken,” it is said,
“with a great fever, and they besought him for
her.”33603360 S. Luke iv. 38. You too
have those near you to entreat for you. You have the Apostles
near, you have the Martyrs near; if associated with the Martyrs in
devotion, you draw near them also by works of mercy. Do you show
mercy and you will be close to Peter. It is not relationship by
blood but affinity of virtue which makes near, for we walk not in the
flesh but in the Spirit. Cherish, then, the nearness of Peter and
the affinity of Andrew, that they may pray for you and your lusts give
way. Touched by the word of God you, who lay on the earth, will
then forthwith rise up to minister to Christ. “For our
conversation is in heaven, whence also we look for the Saviour, the
Lord Jesus Christ.”33613361Phil. iii. 20. For no
one lying down can minister to Christ. Minister to the poor and
you have ministered to Christ. “For what ye have done unto
one of these,” He says, “ye have done unto
Me.”33623362 S. Matt. xxv. 40. You,
widows, have then assistance, if you choose such sons-in-law for
yourselves, such patrons and friends for your posterity.

55. So Peter and Andrew prayed for the
widow. Would that there were some one who could so quickly pray
for us, or better still, they who prayed for the mother-in-law, Peter
and Andrew his brother. Then they could pray for one related to
them, now they are able to pray for us and for all. For you see
that one bound by great sin is less fit to pray for herself, certainly
less likely to obtain for herself. Let her then make use of
others to pray for her to the physician. For the sick, unless the
physician be called to them by the prayers of others, cannot pray for
themselves. The flesh is weak, the soul is sick and hindered by
the chains of sins, and cannot direct its feeble steps to the throne of
that physician. The angels must be entreated for us, who have
been to us as guards; the martyrs must be entreated, whose patronage we
seem to claim for ourselves by the pledge as it were of their bodily
remains. They can entreat for our sins, who, if they had any
sins, washed them in their own blood; for they are the martyrs of God,
our leaders, the beholders of our life and of our actions. Let us
not be ashamed to take them as intercessors for our weakness, for they
themselves knew the weaknesses of the body, even when they
overcame.

56. So, then, Peter’s mother-in-law
found some to pray for her. And you, O widow, find those who will
pray for you, if as a true widow and desolate you hope in God, continue
instant in supplications, persist in prayers,336333631 Tim. v. 5. treat your body as dying daily, that
by dying you may live again; avoid pleasures, that you, too, being
sick, may be healed. “For she that liveth in pleasure is
dead while she liveth.”336433641 Tim. v. 6.

57. You have no longer any reason for marrying,
you have some to intercede for you. Say not, “I am
desolate.” This is the complaint of one who wishes to
marry.
401Say not,
“I am alone.” Chastity seeks solitude: the
modest seek privacy, the immodest company. But you have necessary
business; you have also one to plead for you. You are afraid of
your adversary; the Lord Himself will intervene with the judge and
say: “Judge for the fatherless, and justify the
widow.”33653365Isa. i. 17.

58. But you wish to take care of your
inheritance. The inheritance of modesty is greater, and this a
widow can guard better than one married. A slave has done
wrong. Forgive him, for it is better that you should bear with
another’s fault than expose it. But you wish to
marry. Be it so. The simple desire is no crime. I do
not ask the reason, why is one invented? If you think it good,
say so; if unsuitable, be silent. Do not blame God, do not blame
your relatives, saying that protection fails you. Would that the
wish did not fail! And say not that you are consulting the
interests of your children, whom you are depriving of their mother.

59. There are some things permissible in the
abstract, but not permissible on account of age. Why is the
bridal of the mother being prepared at the same time with that of the
daughters, and often even afterwards? Why does the grown-up
daughter learn to blush in the presence of her mother’s betrothed
rather than her own? I confess that I advised you to change your
dress, but not to put on a bridal veil; to go away from the tomb, not
to prepare a bridal couch. What is the meaning of a newly-married
woman who already has sons-in-law? How unseemly it is to have
children younger than one’s grand-children!