Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Some of the very best people I've known have special needs, and some of the greatest blessings in my life have come about
through my associations with special needs people.

Back when our daughter was in high school, she became
acquainted with many of the special ed students through her activity in a
service club. One young man became especially fond of Carolyn, managed to get
our home phone number, and started calling our house on a regular basis. She
was pretty good about talking to him, however she was a busy teenage girl with
a heavy load of homework, activities, and outings with friends. She wasn't
always home when Brian called, and honestly, sometimes wasn't inclined to come
to the phone when she was. If I answered the phone, Brian was happy to
talk to me instead.

After a few months of calling our home and only seldomly
reaching Carolyn, Brian started asking for me.

(Pretty sure there was only one person who'd call and ask for Carolyn's mom...)

"Um mm... Is it George Bush?" I'd ask.

(laughter and then...) " Nope."

"Is it Spiderman?"

(more laughter)

"Nope!"

"Is it Santa Claus??"

(the kind of laughter that says "I'm really tricking
this lady!")

"Nope!"

After exhausting my list of potential suspects, I'd finally
say, "Well then, it must be Brian!" and we'd begin our conversation. This
became our ritual.

He'd ask about our family, what the kids were up to, what
kinds of things I'd been doing. He'd tell me about his family and what kinds of
things he'd been doing. And he was usually multi-tasking.

"I'm riding my bike to the mall," he'd say.
(Hopefully he had some kind of hands-free system with his cell phone.)

He'd tell me about his cat.

He'd tell me about his grandma who is a well-known scholar
and author who teaches at B.Y.U.

When Carolyn started her senior year and it was time to
apply to B.Y.U., Brian assured her that he'd put in a good word for her with
his grandma and she would pull some strings on Carolyn's behalf. Well, Carolyn
did get accepted and Brian claimed full credit. This rather infuriated Carolyn but
I thought it was hilarious!

His phone calls continued regularly (every few days) for
several years. Carolyn graduated and moved on to college. Brian finished at the
high school and started traveling with his dad. Brian's dad was a cross-country
truck driver and Brian would go with him. He'd call me from all over the U.S.
He'd fill me in on where they'd been and where they were headed.

Several years went by.

"Is it Peter Pan?"

(laughter)

"Nope!"

"Is it President Hinckley?"

(more laughter)

"Nope!"

It never crossed Brian's mind to ask me if I had a name. I
was still Carolyn's Mom.

At one point, I realized that the phone calls were less
frequent and a little farther between. Then one day Brian called and told me his dad would like to
talk to me. His dad got on the phone and
informed me that Brian had recently been treated for cancer. Thought I might
like to know.

That explained why the phone hadn't been ringing as
regularly.

His dad told me that Brian was going to continue to go on
the road with him as much as he could.

The calls picked up again and we got back to normal, but
eventually, over the next couple of years, they lessened again, and finally
stopped all together. I wondered about Brian. I hoped he'd just
"outgrown" me. Maybe moved on to new phone friends.

But in the back of my mind I worried.

Recently, as I was talking with a friend of mine, a woman
approached us. My friend introduced us. It was Brian's grandmother, the
well-known author and scholar. I think I showed surprise upon hearing who she
was, which she probably gets a lot. But I didn't even think to say "Oh,
I've read your books" or "I love your work."

"You have a grandson named Brian who went to Timpanogos
High years ago," I said.

"Yes," she responded. "We really miss
him."

My heart gave a little jump inside my chest.

"That was my next question," I said. I gave her a
quick rundown of our unique friendship.

"I knew he had had cancer," I said. "I've
wondered about him."

"He passed away four years ago," she told me.

Has it been that long?
I thought .

Brian and I never met in person. Carolyn showed me a yearbook
picture of him at one point, but he is totally clueless about me. Someday, when
I get to heaven (and I know Brian is already there), I will approach him.