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The Every 15 Minutes Event at Rhea County High School March 26, 2012. This was a program organized by the Rhea County Anti-Drug Coalition (RCAD) and the Rhea County Sheriff's Department. It was presented to raise awareness of the dangers of drinking and/or texting while driving.

the Edge blog

Cohabitation: Part 2

Author: Tiffany SoysterDate: November 22, 2011

So, what about this issue of cohabitation? Why is it a bad idea? Does a piece of paper or a ceremony really
make that much of a difference?

I have several friends who opted to live together before
pursuing marriage. And, as far as I
know, each of those instances turned into marriage, and each marriage is going
strong. And it was always the same reasoning behind their choices. “I don’t
need a piece of paper to know I’m committed.” “It’s just a ring. It means
nothing and, besides, I don’t even like jewelry.”

There are several issues with those thoughts, least of all
is the fact that I have yet to meet a woman that doesn’t consider diamonds her best
friends.

First of all, I concede that a piece of paper is not the
commitment. It is, however, a sign of the commitment. Couples who live together
are much more likely to consider separation an option, especially considering
they have not entered into a legally binding contract. In addition, the very idea of not pursuing
marriage shows the disconnect that exists between their relationship and
commitment.

Moving in together doesn’t show commitment. It shows lack of
commitment. It says “I want some of you, but I’m not ready for all of you. I
hope you understand.” In addition, couples who cohabitate before they are
married are twice as likely to engage in an affair, even once they are married.

Most people are convinced that moving in together is just
the final step before marriage. It comes after engagement (sometimes) and
before the vows (not so much). The sad truth of the matter is that over 60% of
couples who cohabitate never end up married. And that isn’t the most alarming
statistic. If they do get married, the couple is nearly 50% more likely to end
up divorced. Why set yourself up for failure?

People who cohabitate may never experience divorce, but that
doesn’t protect them from the pain that comes from ending the relationship. And
each time a break-up or separation happens, it makes it that much more
difficult to commit, even half-heartedly, the next time.

I’ve heard the argument of not wanting to feel “tied down.”
The argument that people are happier outside of a marriage. But that is a lie. In fact, studies have
revealed that married couples feel much more fulfilled-across the board- than
couples who cohabitate. In addition,
physical and sexual abuse is more prevalent in cohabiting couples. In short, marriage is essentially safer than
merely cohabiting.

And then, there’s the children. Children seem to be lost in the mix so often.
Parents are so concerned with their own wellbeing that they ignore what is best
for their child. A stable home life that
doesn’t leave the child questioning who will be home when they get home from
school or who will tuck them into bed.

Couples who cohabitate are three times more likely to live
in poverty, adding any number of disadvantages to the children in the home. And
a breakup hurts just as much for the kids.

Why set yourself up for disaster? That’s what I ask my students. And, when it comes to marriage, I get some
pretty interesting comments from those kids.
Check back next time to see how our typical conversations about marriage
go.