Exim greylisting

which works a charm what happens tho is the primary mx temporarily rejects the mail so it then gets dumped straight onto the secondary mx which does not use greylisting and is not under my control. Is there a way around this.

Yea I think your right I may need to think again.
The secondary mx I like as it’s nice to know while things are down we have control over any queued email. I can get it frozen or do all sorts of clever things with exim's mailq or at least get my friend to do it who runs the box . As for the grey listing I can't really impose on him to adjust his setup just for my sake. So I will have a ponder and thanks for your suggestions