Government dismisses parliamentary democracy as ‘silly political games’

Downing Street has said that the Government won’t make time for Labour’s motion of no confidence in Theresa May because that sort of accountability is a lot of daft nonsense.

As the Brexit deal vote is pushed back to 14th January Labour have tabled a motion of no-confidence in the Prime Minister.

However, the Government has reacted by laughing off the motion the way a man’s girlfriend would laugh off his threat to withhold sexual favours.

“I haven’t got time for this shit,” said Theresa May.

“The very idea of there being a coherent opposition to the Government that could attempt to hold the Prime Minister to account – it’s absurd!

“I’ve never listened to a word Jeremy Corbyn has said so I don’t see why I should start now.

“Have you watched PMQs recently? He drones on about something and then I get up and give a pre-prepared statement. To the untrained eye, it probably looks like I’m answering his questions in a very roundabout way – the truth is I’ve no idea what he asked.

“No-confidence indeed! I can do anything I like because I’m the Prime Minister!

“I’m actually thinking about turning the opposition benches around to face the wall like on The Voice. Then they won’t know what the hell they’re voting for!

“Competence is such a nebulous concept anyway. Look at it this way – my job is to cling to power for as long by as possible despite handling Brexit about as well as a Heathrow baggage handler dealing with a Ming vase.