Saturday, December 28, 2013

What Nice Santas gave this year

What
did you get for Xmas? I got a hi-tech ergo chair that will delay the gout and
lumbar damage that comes from too many hours on the computer. I also got
chingos of stuff in my stockings. Here's a sampling:

Santa Junot Díaz put this in
my calcetín:

At
LatinaLista, you can read what happens when two Mexican-American primos in San
Jose, California become Latino superheroes--the stars of their own comic book
series!

Aztec of the Cityfollows the brave exploits
of the two cousins as they defend and protect their city from evil forces in
the year 2019. A bi-national effort, the comic book series’ illustrator, lives
in Mexico while the writer is based in San Jose, California. Read more, including about ordering it.

From Spec Santa Thea
Hutcheson into my stocking:

A
Denver spec writer and friend of mine won the Apex Publications Christmas Flash
Fiction contest, I mentioned earlier. Thea Hutcheson's 1-page story Stockings Hung on the Hearth is a great
piece of emo. Read it to your guests and kids.

A Santa judge in AridZona
put this in our progressive calcetín:

The
notorious immigrant-hating sheriff, Joe Arpaio lost a court case and Justice
won out. From the article, New Times blog Co-Founders Win $3.75 Million
Settlement for 2007 False Arrests:

"The
New Times blog co-founders announced
that they will use the settlement proceeds to "help those who fight the
good fight against government actors who attack the most vulnerable among
us." Included in this list of recipient organizations are the Arizona
ACLU, the Florence Project, and Puente. A contribution also will be made to the
Electronic Frontier Foundation to help protect Internet free speech."

This
is for Latino, and other, writers just breaking into publishing, especially spec.
Shvartsman described two publishing sources that he (and I) recommend. Check
these out for 2014 opportunities for getting your fiction published. He
explains why:

"This
is a quality magazine that is extremely
supportive of diverse voices as well as new authors. They began to pay
professional rates and are now holding a subscription drive in order to
continue to publish and to pay writers fairly in 2014. Click for more details.

"The
fine folks at Diabolical Plots have created an excellent alternative service
called The Grinder, committed to keeping it free for everyone. While the
Grinder is new and does not yet have the volume of users of Duotrope, they are
growing fast and a much greater percentage of their users are neo-pro SF/F
writers, and so the data for markets is generally as reliable or more reliable
than Duotrope, even with fewer people reporting. They constantly update
the site, introduce new and innovative features, and are extremely open to
feedback. All in all, I am very thankful for the service they have provided to
the SF/F writing community this year, and I encourage those of you who can
afford it to kick in a few bucks and those who cannot to support them by
uploading your submissions data, therefore improving the accuracy of their
database."

When
my wife and I were in Portland this year, we didn't get in the long lines at
this over-the-top-American-excess shop. But now we can do it in Denver. This
place is on Sedano's gluten kill-list, but if you can get an okay from your
cardiologist, here's some of the terminal offerings:

With
the Tex-Ass Challenge doughnut, you can skip your next blood-pressure test:
Giant Doughnut equals 6 dougnuts. If you eat this in 80 seconds or less, you
get your money back! [But not with your arteries cleared.]

If
your familia gatherings also gave you a flu or cold, you might check out this guide
"for getting fkd up on over the counter medicine for as long as is socially
and medically acceptable.

"Theraflu
- This stuff is incredible. While the daytime stuff surely will do a number on
your cold or flu, the nighttime stuff sends you on a wild goose chase of
drug-induced joy that will make you feel as if you're living in the soundtrack
to the movie Drive.

"Airborne
- Completely doesn't work. Might as well just hand someone $8 and tell them to
slap you in the face with it. ZICAM has a cool name and works really well
for about an hour before completely giving up.

"Chicken
Soup - What could be better than a nice hot bowl of nutritious and wholesome
chicken soup to make you feel better? A lot of things. Most of them are
available over the counter. Save your soup for when you want to write a
dystopian novel by candlelight.

"Cold-Eeze
has Zinc in it. You know what else has Zinc in it? Nickels. Eat a bag of
nickels.

"Vicks
- Do you like having a chest that smells like a permanent marker?

"Hot
Toddy - two shots of whiskey (floating in as much hot water) masquerading
as a seasonal beverage. The water keeps you hydrated, while the whiskey gets
you drunk enough to forget you have the flu."