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Summer movie alternatives

In “Nacho Libre” Jack Black stars as Ignacio (known as Nacho to his friends), a Mexican priest who has a passion for Mexican wrestling. Black’s character Nacho’s obsession with wrestling leads him to the ring as he becomes a lucha libre wrestler to raise money for his orphanage. Sure, the critics will hate “Nacho Libre,” and it will get terrible reviews, but if you want to be entertained this summer, this movie is a must see.

And why it took so long to get Jack Black in a wrestling ring with Mexican wrestling midgets, I may never know, but it’s here now, and that is all that matters.

Snakes:The next “must see” movie of the summer is an action/adventure movie as well as a suspense/thriller. This movie dares to answers the question, “If you were a ruthless assassin, how would you eliminate a witness who is on a plane, and in protective custody.”

Yes, I’m talking about the summer movie sensation, “Snakes on a Plane.” That’s right, this is the movie in which an assassin releases a crate of lethal snakes on a plane to kill off a witness.

Samuel L. Jackson plays the roll of the snake-fighting hero in “Snakes on a Plane,” which adds to the pure coolness of this movie. I predict that “Snakes on a Plan” will gross the most money this summer making it the season’s surprise hit.

Legend:The final movie you should not go without seeing this summer might not even be a movie at all. The previews are so bad, some critics say, that it must be a hoax. The title of this movie is “The Legend of Simon Conjurer.” Though this movie tries to be serious, it is so laughable that it is intriguing.

In “The Legend of Simon Conjurer” Jon Voit plays Dr. Crayzx, a chocoholic pop-psychology author and religious scholar who joins a group of dysfunctional people led by Simon Conjurer.

The group, which includes an alcoholic, a schizophrenic, an overeater, an anorexic, a drug addict, a sexually compulsive student, a man that cannot control his anger and a manic depressant, becomes obsessed with solving a murder mystery.

You must view a preview of this movie to understand the true essence of it. Go to thelegendofsimonconjurer.com. Strangers:

With a cast that consists of Amy Sedaris, David Rakoff, Stephen Colbert, Mathew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, “Strangers With Candy” promises to be one of the biggest sleeper hits of the summer. “Strangers With Candy” is the prequel to the critically acclaimed Comedy Central series featuring Jerri Blank, played by Amy Sedaris, a 46 year-old high school freshmen. Jerri has been a runaway for 32 years and is ready to turn her life around.

During the 32 years on the streets she experienced it all. In her words, she was “a boozer, a user and a looser.” Her friends for those 32 years consisted of dealers, cons and pimps. Since Jerri was released from jail, she has been trying to live her life right and make up for lost times. Now Jerri is living back at home with her mother and learning a lot in school (and about her body).

Though this movie may be offensive at times to some, it is the most original movie this summer, so if you want something off the beaten path, “Strangers With Candy” is for you.

Nacho:What would happen if you took a Jack Black action figure and put it in the hands of Jared Hess? “Nacho Libre” is what would happen. “Nacho Libre” was created by the writers of “Napoleon Dynamite” and “School of Rock” and guarantees to be one of the summer’s biggest gut busters.