Could Vagina Hero mean women start encouraging men to play computer games?

I hate Guitar Hero. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m seriously rubbish at it, or that my boyfriend rocks out like Metallica pre 1990, leaving me sulking and bored on the sofa. Though this game is just a concept at the moment I can imagine it could do really well commercially. Forget all those self help guides and ‘Joy of Sex’ manuals with scary bearded illustrations, here’s a guide to women that the modern man can really utilise. Using an anatomically correct XBOX controller the player is expected to bring the on screen woman to the magic O with deft finger movements.

The creators/ bored stoners/ Apprentice stars in the making have described it like so:

‘The stages in Vagina Hero are women, much like the individual songs in previous Hero games released by a completely different publisher that is in no way related to Activision. There is no background or story explaining how you suddenly find yourself with a naked vagina in your face — the stage loads up and it’s just there. You find your screen assaulted with coloured button-press indicators called “E-Zones”. The E-Zones (or “EZ’s”) correspond to the same coloured buttons on your Vagina Hero controller’.

Unsurprisingly Activision have decline to comment on this concept, but hey, I think they could be missing out on a good thing here. A step by step guide to erogenous zone is no bad thing, and imagine what mental breakdown fun you could have if this was released on the Wii. Hang on, let’s not go there…

2 comments

I was terrible at Guitar Hero when I started playing, but I eventually realised that despite being right-handed, it was way easier for me to play left-handed. I think it’s because all the coloured buttons are then on the right, and your right hand is your good hand and can cope a LOT better with lots of button presses than the left.

Which leaves the left operating the little flipper known as the strum bar. Which it can definitely handle.

Give it a try – don’t forget to put Lefty Flip on in the options, so the buttons are the right way round on-screen.