DEAR AMY: I’m in my early 50s. For the past few years, I have been experiencing increasing bouts of road rage, especially driving home from work. When traffic’s light, I’m happy and drive safely. But when the road’s crowded and/or when I see dangerous moves or my personal peeves, my temper flares.

I think this started after my Saturn died and I ended up with a sportier car. I scream to let off steam.

I think pressure at work is stoking it. I’m ashamed of my behavior, but I haven’t figured out how to stop. Reciting mantras hasn’t worked. Do you have any suggestions on how to calm down? Therapy is not an affordable option right now.

Car Screamer

DEAR SCREAMER: Even though you say you can’t afford therapy, a professional evaluation and a couple of sessions could do you a world of good. One reason road rage is so dangerous is because if you lash out at someone equally raging, the resulting combustion could hurt a lot of people.

I wonder if the “mantras” you are choosing might be triggering your rage by reminding you that you do get angry; you do let others get the best of you. For you, screaming might raise your temper and temperature and be the opposite of letting off steam.

In the short term, try to decompress from the office before you enter your car at the end of the day. Perhaps you could work out or take a yoga class. Relaxing for as little as 15 minutes before entering your car should help.

Practice mindfulness, breathing and meditation techniques during times when you typically experience small frustrations. Listening to favorite podcasts or music in the car could keep you entertained enough that you’ll be more lighthearted.

DEAR AMY: For a number of years, my family has been poorly treated by my cousin and her husband. This cousin is not on speaking terms with her two sisters, who have experienced such maltreatment.

They now have a summer residence across the street from mine. They spy on the activities of my elderly mother, my brother and me. They will not acknowledge us but will go to neighbors and spread rumors about us. When their son was married, my mother received a letter “disinviting” us to the wedding. Not one person from our side of the family was invited.

This cousin’s father passed away a number of months ago. My mother, brother and I sent flowers. Those, too, went unacknowledged. We invited them to 85th and 90th birthday parties for my mother. They did not RSVP and did not attend. We are hurt by this behavior and seek your insight on how to deal with this situation.

Hurt in N.Y.

DEAR HURT: Your stress will diminish if you follow your cousin’s lead and act as if she doesn’t exist. Simply step off this roller coaster. Do not invite this couple to events — don’t ruminate on their behavior. You cannot seem to heal this relationship, so concentrate on the functional friend and family relationships in your life.

My niece works several jobs and is saving money for college application fees and expenses, but my brother and sister-in-law — who have notoriously poor money-management skills and compulsive spending habits — pressure her to lend them money, which they are slow to pay back, if at all.