Random thoughts from a few cantankerous American physicians. All contributors are board certified. Various specialties are represented here. I do not know where this will lead but hope it will at least be an enjoyable read. All of the names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms, the ages have been changed, and in half the cases the gender as well. All photographs are published with patient consent or are digitally altered to preserve anonymity. Trust us, we're doctors.

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

If I was coaching the Detroit Red Wings, here is what I would tell my team before the game tonight. I hope they would get it...

"OK. Tonight I want to talk about giving 110%. Giving 100% means giving everything you've got. Giving 110% means giving 10% more than is humanly possible. If we are going to win the Cup, we need 100% of you guys giving 110% 100% of the time. If only 50% of you guys give 110% and 50% of you guys give 100%, I guarantee you 100% that we would only win 50% of our games. Suppose 75% of 110% gave only 50%, and 50% of 100% gave 25%, and 75% of 100% were not feeling 100%, then we'd be in a heap of trouble. That's why we need 100% of you guys giving 110% 100% of the time.

Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Otter: Germans? Boon: Forget it, he's rolling. Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [thinks hard...long pause] Bluto: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns] Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer... Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. Bluto: We're just the guys to do it. D-Day: Let's do it. Bluto: LET'S DO IT!

Pathetic. Obviously, there are no statistics classes required as med school pre-reqs. It is truly scary that statistical/mathematical illiterates like you advocate clinical trial based, evidence based medicine. I weep for the future. Weep.

Folks, you have to remember that I would be talking to Canadiens! They would obviously not get the math, but would be so fired up they would be ready to skate on the ice and shoot the puck 100 miles an hour and knock the bejesus out of Nashville.

Richter, after reading your previous posts, let me tell you something. If you ever want to put the skates on, I will pull your pink jersey over your head and start kicking your little gutless ASS before you know what hit you. That would be you in red, BIATCH!!

I would want my team to give 87-91 percent 95 percent of the time, so that if they needed that extra 9-13% (say, in overtime, which happens 5 percent of the time) they would have it, and could even give 109-113% for brief periods, and sacrifice the beginning of the next game giving only, say 86 percent for the first 10 minutes.