It's time to look after me

I'm Jo, 26 (27 next month eeek) and am married with 2 kiddies. Jack is 2 1/2 and daisy just turned 1.

I've been overweight pretty much all my life and had about 3 months of thin life just before i got pregnant with my first when i had lost about 40kgs and was 10kg away from my goal....i put it all back on with my first bub.

i lost a few kg after i had him then i put some back on again just before getting pregnant again. our second was a shock esspecially when we found out she was due 3 week before my wedding day!! I got my dress fitted when i was 4 mths preg and 113kg. I worked really ahrd not to put weight on during this pregnancy but it was hard. I think i gained 10kg in total but alot of that went after i had her luckily. I started BT the day i left hospital and got back to my 113kg and my dress fitted perfectly (though i would have prefered to be at least 80kg on my wedding day!). ...my wedding wasn't without drama though..

the weekend before the wedding which was the easter weekend last year we rushed our 3 week old baby to emergancy cause she wouldn't move her leg and if i touched it she would scream in so much pain. from the easter Sunday - Wednesday we went though so many test until that wednesday night it was comfirmed she had a bone infection in her thigh and would need to stay on an antibiotic drip for 5 weeks......it's 3 days till wedding day!

Unfortunatly Daisy wasn't able to come to our wedding and was smotehred with cuddles and kisses by all the wonderful nurses who looked after her that weekend. Theyw ere so lovely and did a big banner for me in her room when i came back and hung her wedding dress she was suposed to wear above her bed.

I've spent the last 3 years dedicated to my kids and i feel like i have lost myself and who i am. I'm not happy anymore and it's started to reflect in the way i treat my kids nad i hate who i have become because i'm unhappy with myself.

I don't get much support from home cause no one really knows what it's like to be me...I live in a family of Skinnies and my hubby can will just say one day 'i wanna loose some weight' and the next week it will be gone. So unfair! lol