30+ Ways Life Sucks After Infertility and Loss

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For all of those dealing (or who have dealt with) infertility, pregnancy loss, and/or baby loss, I present for your consideration, a truly terrible grouping of some of the nonsense we go through in daily life:

1) Bellies. Round with child, bumping into you on the train, sitting on laps at the doctor’s office, or staring at you from opposite the table at a coffee date.

2) To go along with #1, BABIES. Seriously, are we in another baby-boom? Because they are EVERYWHERE.

3) Gaining 10 lbs, and having people ask if you have “news.”

4) Barfing your guts out from stomach flu, and people asking if you have “news.”

5) Having no news to tell.

6) Having news, telling it, and then having to retract it. People looking on with pity.

7) Watching two lines turn to one, and knowing that there is nothing you can do to stop it.

8) Well-meaning friends offering advice on how to get pregnant and/or avoid pregnancy loss… even though they’ve never had to worry about it themselves for an instant.

9) Trying everything they’ve said on the sly, and hoping it might help.

10) How there is no separate ward in hospitals for baby or pregnancy loss, so you end up in antepartum.

11) Insomnia.

12) Lightening-fast internet connections, coffee, and WAY too much time on your hands in the middle of the night.

What would you add to this?

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About Jill Kawchak

Jill Kawchak is the proud mama to one truly amazing daughter, the wife of a good man, and a companion of a very troublesome Labrador retriever. Her days are spent homeschooling from the shadow of the Rocky Mountains in Cochrane, Alberta, where her daughter constantly begs to go exploring. She had always wanted to be a mother and started TTC just after her wedding in 2006. Jill has been diagnosed with PCOS, and was told motherhood would be a difficult goal to attain, but after 3.5 years of infertility with one early loss, the clouds parted, and the sunshine that was a little girl with blue eyes and brown curls broke through. However, in the years since her daughter arrived, there have been another 4 early losses. After *much* debate, angst and tears, Jill and her husband, Mark, have decided to end their fertility journey and are now focused on 'what comes next'. She writes to keep sane, and support those who are also experiencing infertility and baby loss.