My Favorite Catholic Superstition

I’m feeling nostalgic and I was reminiscing some of my favorite moments and superstitions as an ex-Catholic. I remember how I was told that I have to go to confession first before accepting the Eucharist (communion). So when I was a kid, before Sunday, I have to remember all the sins that I did that week. Did I curse? Did I make my parents mad? Did I see some perverted shit on TV? These are some of the important questions that I have to ponder and yes, I made a list. Then, confession day will come and I have to tell this priest, and he will prescribe something like, “You’re forgiven, 3 Our Father, 2 Hail Mary’s and 3 Glory Be.” Then problem would arise because sometimes the time gap between confession and communion, I would commit a stupid sin again. So many times, I would just sit off the communion and never take it for I never felt truly “clean” to accept Christ. It went on for years until my adulthood, up to the point that I just do not take communion every mass. Thank you God for making me feel so fucking dirty.

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You told the priest you watched porn? LOL. I used to do a vague general confession when it was anything sexual. I would say, "Father, I have committed lust many times." LOL. I like that the Eucharist now has gluten-free variety, for those who get allergy attacks when accepting Jesus.

My (least) favorite is holy water. It seems EVERY time I argue with a Catholic the conversation always ends with: Yeah? Well we have incorruptible Magic Water, it´s a Miracle, it´s PROOF the Church is Holy.

Do you think this holy water is filtered or regular tap? Yeah the holy water! When I was a kid, I wished that it is holy enough to kill all the germs that all the people in church and I have just shared. Just like Vincent said about the Eucharist that you cannot just pick it up if it fell on the floor, did you guys know that the holy water is too holy for regular plumbing? It needs to go on a separate basin to go directly on the ground for disposal.

Well you know, what kind of a Catholic was I if there was no guilt, shame, or the feeling that "I am not worth it." So, did you do an Episcopalian confession before and let the priest know about your kilt activities? LOL.

I remember the Dominican nuns that taught in my school had to wear this forhead scrunching head dress that really bore down on their forhead skin- making a red crease there. I asked why they did it and I got "to remind us of the crown of thornes Christ wore during the crusifiction."

Mortigication of the flesh wasn't only practiced by Opus Dei.

As a child these people were authority figures, but looking back they were quite mad. This kind of thing is abnormal.

I remember the Dominican nuns that taught in my school had to wear this forhead scrunching head dress that really bore down on their forhead skin- making a red crease there. I asked why they did it and I got "to remind us of the crown of thornes Christ wore during the crusifiction."

Mortification of the flesh wasn't only practiced by Opus Dei.

As a child these people (tthe Dominicans) were authority figures, but looking back they were quite mad. This kind of thing is abnormal.

I used to use a very general, vague sort of thing when I went to confession, making things up like "I didn't listen you my parents," or, "I swore." I think I only went to confession around 10 times, I guess my family wasn't as strict about that sort of thing, even though I was sent to a catholic school k-12. Actually, my mom made me go to confession several times as a form of punishment, haha!

I guess I never really bought into the whole guilt thing, etc, and it didn't seem like many of the other people I went to school with did, either. I guess some people just stick with it because that is how they were raised, so they don't step back to think about their beliefs. I'm glad that I did.

I always liked the blessing of the throats during the feast of St Blaze, the patron saint against throat ailments. The priest takes two unlit candles and crosses them. He places one on one side of the parishioner's neck and one on the other. This may sound like a joke to those of you who have not experienced it, but it is a legitimate catholic blessing as superstitious blessings go.

I don't know if this is general catholic doctrine, but I was always taught god sees everything. When I became sexually aware and had still not completely abandoned the lunacy, I was always thinking god was watching me 'getting up to no good' as my mum would refer to it. That's probably the reason why I embraced my sexuality so whole heartedly when I asserted my atheism. I know which situation I prefer.