This week: Look, it's Christmas - the pickings are slim. But if you're into bad Bradley Cooper, animated video game movies, and anime boxed sets ... this is your week.

► The same year he makes one of the year's most acclaimed movies ('Silver Linings Playbook'), Bradley Cooper also starred in one of the most abused. THE WORDS has him as a self-doubting writer who decides plagiarism is the way to go. After his wife (Zoe Saldana) finds an unsigned manuscript that makes her all weepy, he publishes it under his own name and becomes a literary star. Karma hits him when the book's actual author, played by Jeremy Irons, starts shadowing him.

► Until that next ‘Mass Effect’ game hits, you can fight withdrawal with the animated MASS EFFECT: PARAGON LOST, a prequel to the third game following the early career of Marine James Vega. While stationed at a colony, he must defend civilians from an invasion of Collectors. Made by the company which did the animated segment of the first ‘Kill Bill’ movie.

► A remake of the 1940 French romantic drama, Daniel Auteuil’s THE WELL-DIGGER’S DAUGHTER wears its old-fashioned heart proudly. Auteuil stars as a widower raising six daughters whose oldest gets knocked up by a fighter pilot, who then gets called away for World War I. The eldest daughter is played by Astrid Berges-Frisbey, who was the mermaid in the last ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie.

► If that strip club drug dealer seemed familiar in ‘Magic Mike,’ that’s because he was portly Comedy Central host Gabriel Iglesias. He’s also the guy who was eliminated from the TV series ‘Last Comic Standing’ for using a BlackBerry to keep in touch with family. Last year he started STAND UP REVOLUTION, which animates some of his more popular skits.

► Like most kids of the ‘70s, my first exposure to anime was ‘Speed Racer,’ which despite its crappy animation and horrible dialogue kept my five-year-old ass glued in front of the TV. That one was based on a comic – HAKUOKI, like much modern anime, is based on video games. Season 2 finds the members of Shinsengumi sick and battered as they prepare for another round against the Rasetsu.

► If you’re into anime, Christmas is your day. IDOLMASTER: XENOGLOSSIA, is based on – yes – a video game series. And yes, I had to read the plot description several times before it made sense. Something about girls posing as students (or course) who actually pilot giant robots which are used to destroy remnants of the moon, which was blown up 107 years ago. I’ll need a few more egg nogs to get through this.

► Have we resorted to self-defense DVDs in this column? Yes, we have, because everything you see listed here is literally everything coming out this week. And if WARRIORS 3 – THE RETURN OF KRAV WARRIORS and WARRIORS 4 – THE EXPERTS OF SELF DEFENSE help you kick some ass in a pinch, we’ve done our job. Both feature techniques by Krav Maga experts like Alain Formaggio and Stephanie Dumont, who could single-handedly wipe out The Expendables cast before the opening credits. If anything, you’ll be inspired to burn off the five pounds of turkey that went straight to your ass this week.