Pregnancy & Parenthood: Thoughts From The Father-To-Be

Since my pregnancy journey began it has amazed me how much we hear about the woman’s perspective during this very special time. I mean, I guess it is quite understandable as it is us who carry this precious cargo around for 40 weeks, but what about the men? Although they may not be affected physically like we are, they still go through a roller coaster of emotion ranging from excitement, fear, anxiety and nervousness. They struggle to support their partners psychologically while trying to stay alive during our hormone induced meltdowns. And trust me, the latter is REAL because there were some points my hormones were so next level, I didn’t think the both of us were going to make it through this pregnancy alive. Kudos to you my love for surviving through the worst of it!

I’ve been getting a few comments from my male friends lately who happen to be father’s, asking if I have a man’s perspective on the pregnancy journey and it dawned on me that I have never really sat down and talked to Réjean about how he feels, selfishly being so consumed in my own prenatal struggles. With just over one month left until we welcome our little one, I decided it was time to chat to find out how he’s REALLY feeling about fatherhood, if he’s freaked out about the gender of our baby (and for all those who have been wondering, yes we eventually did open the envelope from the ultrasound technician that contained the sex), his thoughts on delivering a baby in a hospital vs. home and what about his diapering skills? If you’ve seen his attempts to diaper a teddy bear on my IG stories, you know we have some work to do still in that area. Thankfully, HUGGIES® Little Snugglers are almost fool-proof for first time dad’s like Réjean. To make life easier, these Little Snugglers will allow him to quickly get Baby Bean into a clean diaper minus the potential hassle of putting it on backwards because the front and back is clearly labelled – how brilliant right?. Also, for those times of father/baby bonding alone, the wetness indicator line will let him know when the diaper to be changed, avoiding any unnecessary confusion.

Sasha: “So, this hasn’t been our first time to the rodeo of course but what was your first reaction coming home from work that day when I told you I had done a pregnancy test and we were expecting again? And I mean, I remember what your reaction was but I want to know how you were really feeling inside”

Réjean: “Ummm, oh crap! I’m pretty sure that was my initial thought inside my head but I obviously didn’t say that. I remember just feeling both scared and excited at the same time.”

Sasha: “To be honest though, I am still in shock how quickly we got pregnant again. Were you nervous that it happened so quickly after the miscarriage?”

Réjean: “Nope”

Sasha: “Uh what? Not at all? Like, really?”

Réjean: “Well, no because every time I look your way you seem to get pregnant so I knew if we wanted to again, it would happen”

Sasha:Giggles…”Noooo, not scared that it wouldn’t happen, just scared of what could happen, when we got pregnant again with the possibilities of another miscarriage being higher”

Réjean: “Well yah, I was a bit worried. Scared for you and your well-being.”

Sasha: “Ok, so what made you change your mind about having kids in the first place? I mean, when we first started dating you were not so stoked on the idea of being a father.”

Réjean: “…Because I found the right person”

Sasha:Laughs “Ok, you’re cute! But seriously…wait, are you for real? You’re making me blush”

Réjean: “Yeah”

Sasha: So let’s discuss the topic of gender. Obviously you knew what I wanted but we had battled for ages about whether we were going to find out what Bean was going to be. I know you felt that the birth of our child is already going to be overwhelming and raising our child would be full of surprises, so why not find out the gender now. Well… now we know it’s GIRL. Super surprising to me because I could have sworn we were having a boy for sure, but I legit couldn’t be happier <Screams> Omg, I can’t believe I’m going to have a mini-me but for some reason I get the feeling that a daughter scares you! LOL. What are your thoughts on being a daddy to a little girl?”

Réjean: I am excited about it but in some ways I think raising her will be a bit more of a challenge than raising a boy. I will definitely be more protective. There’s always going to be that side of me that wants to protect her whereas with a boy I would have been less stressed out, letting him just figuring his own stuff out along the way.”

Sasha: “What surprised you most during this pregnancy journey? What was really shocking or is there anything that made you think, why didn’t someone tell me this beforehand?“

Réjean: “Well…I actually already kind of knew that there were other options for women outside of the hospital for child birth but I was impressed at how much care you were going to get throughout the pregnancy by us deciding to have a Midwife and Doula. With the level of anxiety you had in the first few months, it was really nice to have extra hands on deck, during the early stages and I don’t think there is anything better than you being able to deliver our baby in the comfort of our own home. I am so glad that we decided to do extra research and pursue this route. I was also shocked to learn how important skin-to-skin is for a newborn. I mean, I had no clue what a Hug Plan was before you told me but after hearing more about it, seems to make a lot of sense. If a baby feels the most secure in the womb, I could understand why it would love the warmth of being hugged and held close. It’s something that both you and I can have to connect with Bean too, which is cool plus so many physical and emotional benefits for her.

But other than that, no other surprises. As I guy, I’ve heard horror stories so I was expecting just about anything. I did keep hearing things about how crazy women can get during pregnancy due to the hormones so to me this didn’t seem as bad as people make it out to be. But I’m not sure if that’s because you’re more stronger than most women or that your just not making it out to be that hard, but for me, I dunno…I think that’s it.”

Sasha: “Ha…what about my weight gain? LOL”

Réjean:Coughs “Uh yeah, it’s actually about what I expected. But, it came quicker than I thought…”

Sasha: “Hehehehe…wait, what?”

Réjean: Not like in the beginning but I guess what I mean is that it was a big change pretty quickly in the third trimester. Your belly went from nothing to like SOMETHING…you know?”

Sasha: “I know right! I was looking at photos on Instagram from back in April and my bump was so cute and small. It truly was the pregnancy honeymoon stage. Now I feel and look a bit ridiculous.”

Sasha: “What would be one word to describe me during this pregnancy?”

Réjean: …. *silence*

Sasha: “Just one word. Anything that comes to mind. Are you afraid I’m going to get mad?”

Réjean: “Strong. I would say, strong!”

Sasha: “What about baby chores? Do you think we will be sharing these duties? Is there some things that you can think ‘I can’t do ________. I can do x,y & z but I just can’t do _________.’ i.e. perhaps you’re terrified to bathe her when she’s a newborn or something like that”

Rejean: “Everything you do I think I can manage to do. Well, I am a bit scared to clean her private parts but I guess I gotta do what I gotta do. LOL.”

Sasha: “You’ve been getting schooled a bit on Diapering 101 – some of the basics I’ve learned thankfully from the Huggies® team like making sure to keep all changing essentials close by, how to properly clean her bottom and creases using Huggies® Natural Care Wipes (our go-to wipe because they contain Vitamin E & Aloe making it perfect for her delicate skin), making sure to wipe from front to back, how to apply creams, powders, etc…but does the idea of changing diapers freak you out still?”

Réjean: “No. Well what do you mean will I be disgusted by what I see and the smells? I mean, as a Dad it’s going to take a bit of time getting used to cleaning my daughter’s private parts during diaper changes. It’s a bit weird but I think I would feel the same way about cleaning up my son too now that I think about it.”

Sasha: “From 1-10, how prepared do you feel for Bean’s arrival? I mean, not taking into account all the stuff we still have to get and set up (with 10 being most prepared)?”

Réjean: “I’d say 7. I just think I will figure out the rest along the way and of course the help of YouTube.”

Sasha: “What are you looking forward to about being a dad?”

Réjean: “Looking forward to bonding and spending time with her. Teaching her stuff like how to be a woman…”

Sasha: “Wait a minute, your going to teach our daughter how to be a woman? LOL”

Réjean: “No, I should say how to be a strong and independent individual that has self respect.”

This whole pregnancy experience has been humbling and has most definitely brought us closer together as a couple. We are in the midst of planning our home birth strategy with our amazing Doula Leah Jackson but we have already ironed out the details to our Hug Plan and Réj will be the Designated Alternative Hugger. No matter how much you prepare, we have discovered that you can’t anticipate everything, which is what makes the journey so interesting. However, we can expect a few things for sure, like the fact we will be changing a million and one diapers over the next year and a half. Thank you Huggies® Canada for arming us with the necessary tools to kill it in the diaper changing game and Rejean’s New Father Starter Kit. This Lekebaby Diaper Backpack (shop a similar one below) could not be more perfect for him because it doesn’t look like a diaper bag at all and even packed with Bean’s stuff, it still will have room for his laptop and comes with stroller straps. To make sure he has everything he needs on his solo days out with the baby, our friends at Huggies graciously filled it with diapers, wipes, backup battery charger for his iPhone, Moleskin notepads, a change pad, men’s skincare products easy to carry on-the-go from Jack Black and even his favourite summer time treats from Häagen Dazs.

Photos by JessBaumung.com

SHOP SOME OF RÉJEAN’S FAVES HERE

This post was sponsored by Huggies® Canada, however all opinions and reviews are our own!

So Sasha is a balanced lifestyle blog which covers Sasha's daily musings and let's her share her tips, tricks and everything that inspires her in fashion, beauty, fitness, food, art, design, health and wellness with other women.
With her love and passion for fashion, coupled with consistent inquiries from both friends and strangers about how she stays fit, where she shops, eats, and travels to, Sasha finally decided to create So Sasha in October 2012.
Apart from being a self-proclaimed fashion fanatic with a penchant for mixing luxe labels with budget finds, she is also a foodie (who loves organic, clean eating) and considers herself a "well-heeled" traveler...pun intended. Having lived in cities around the world, Sasha currently calls Toronto home and lives with her Yorkie/Bichon mix Brooklyn.