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Coke addiction consumed me

My name is Sam. I am 25, and my husband is 26. We both use cocaine on a regular basis. It started out as a line here or there on a night out- nothing too major. Now every weekend we “get on it” and within 8 months we have spent about £15,000 on cocaine. That’s not even an exaggeration. It got to the point where I would take cocaine during the week and whilst at work. It seemed like the only thing that would get me through the day. My husband however didn’t, he has only ever used it on the weekend. This addiction is ruining my life, not financially, because as it happens we both have good jobs and we can afford the expense, but mentally.

I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t high or paranoid. The paranoia is so bad! It makes you feel/ think the strangest things! Sometimes it’s great, but when you don’t have a line for a while you feel awful and the feeling of paranoia can consume you. Feeling as if you want to take a power drill to your head, just to stop the thoughts running through your mind is no fun, believe me.

I guess what I am saying is – Do not let a drug consume your life as I did. Life’s too short to live for the next high.

Cocaine has warped my mind, one time I was enjoying a drink and a gram and then all of a sudden my mood changed- I felt like I wanted to kill myself. I actually had visions in my head of slashing my wrists. I’ve never been depressed or unhappy – so why would I think that?

I am trying to get off coke, it isn’t going to be easy and one hell of a battle. I’ve managed to stay away from it during the week by throwing myself into work and keeping busy, but if I could give any first time user advice, it would be this – DON’T.