I want to build towards something. But I keep trying to find a massive skyscraper or masterpiece to build… when I don’t know what materials to use, what tools, or technology… I am stuck in a place where I want to do ‘grand’ things that meet some standards of what greatness is, yet I lack the perspective or the skills to pursue the most basic of things, in coding.

I have about 100 hours of studying under my belt… and I act like… I deserve to … be good, right now. I don’t even know what I want to be good at. I don’t know what I don’t know.

One thing I learned in rock climbing… is that your perspective changes, both figuratively and literally when you are 50, 100, 200, 300, 500, 1000 feet off the ground. You think you know what it would be like, how you would feel, but you don’t know until you start climbing and gain elevation and see and feel things. As you get more climbs under your belt — you also learn a lot about yourself — what views you like, what type of climbing you like, how you handle pressure, what skills to improve on — and you can better train, plan your next climbs, and do them.

So maybe that analogy applies here.

Instead of trying to look up the coding mountain from the ground and thinking — hmm… I wonder which mountain to go up? How far do I want to go up? Damn… that mountain is so high! Do I want to make it a day trip or multi-day trip? Do I even want to do this?

Maybe, let’s just take a few steps up. And see how I feel. And see if I like what I see.

I feel like during the past few weeks, I learned how to set up a base camp. And I am … stuck here afraid and hesitant to start the real climb.