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Dreading Summer Break already

Four days left of school. Four. The last few don’t even count, though, since they’re filled with performances, ceremonies and half days that leave me no time to even shower (much less contrast and compare the best pricing for a boob lift).

It’s been a good year, though. My daughter continues to at least pretend that I’m useful when it comes to helping her with 4th grade homework. And my son …has now mastered 3 of the 4,872 kindergarten sight words we’ve been going over with him nightly.

Like the lead female character in “Say Anything” (One of my Top 10 favorite 80s movies)- the one who marks each word in the dictionary that she’s ever looked up- my daughter is constantly calculating (at 7:53 tonight she said- “Mom, did you notice that the clock is a consistent minus two- 7 minus 5 is 2 and 5 minus 3 is 2”?). Save the lisp, she IS that girl! My son, on the other hand, is the one we have to keep reminding to please not eat dirt.

So… What the heck am I supposed to do with them for the upcoming 3 months of summer? How do I keep their little minds engaged? They complain if I bring them along to my waxing appointments (something about “boundaries”), and I’ve been asked to please leave them at home when I go to to the male strip clubs (though I think the monetary transactions count as math lessons)- so what’s a good mommy to do?