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Back to men’s underwear – now have a ruler

We live in a pretty vain world. Men and women will make a decision on a person based purely on how they look. Now don’t look shocked! I’m not saying YOU do this but you must at least admit that a number of people you know do this. Come on, be honest.

And while women make get worked out over washboard abs, firm butts and perky breasts (amongst other things I’m sure), men worry about muscles, abs and obviously – schlong size. That’s right, men worry about that. Why? Well because the size of your ding-a-ling is a reflection of your masculinity to many men. No one wants to be told “it’s not the size that counts but how you use it”. Men with large johnsons will smirk and say “you’re just saying that because you are small down there!” Not to mention, girls are quite often pretty upfront with the fact that bigger is usually better as long as bigger isn’t a whale penis. This fact is usually quite depressing to the average man (the average penis is roughly 5-5.5 inches long apparently).

What does this have to do with underwear you ask? Well! Bring in Stance. If you don’t know who Stance are, they are an American clothing brand that sells, amongst other things, comfortable underwear. They even do patriotic pants as seen below.

And sure, if the Stars and Stripes aren’t enough for you to raise your preverbial flagpole first thing in the morning, they do a whole range of stuff including this snazzy number.

HOWEVER, behind the facade of lovely comfy undies is something much more sinister. It comes in the shape of…..A RULER.

“A RULER?” you cry? Yes a ruler. The perfect thing a man needs to make a man’s underwear purchasing just that bit more exciting. And it is not just any old ruler, it’s a 9 inch ruler which as you know is the number that most men lie about having on Plenty of Fish.

So why would Stance provide a ruler with your undies? Is it because nothing says new undies like measuring your meat? I don’t know. But I find it really weird. I mean imagine buying a new bra and it coming with a pair of my hands to measure your cup size? It’s a bit crazy right?

All I can say; nay, all I can hope is that any man who doesn’t use that ruler to draw lines but instead takes it upon himself to measure himself up, I sure hope he throws it away afterwards.