Category: love

After the tragic loss of two children through miscarriage, Mindy Raelynne Danison wants others to realize the humanity of unborn babies.

She recently posted a Facebook photo album for both her children, Annabelle and Riley, where she shows beautiful pictures of them. The grieving mother said she wants people to find the pictures and recognize the value of the unborn child, Live Action News reported

Annabelle was 8 weeks and 5 days old when she was miscarried. The photos show her little fingers and toes, nose and eyes. In one picture, she is placed in her mother’s wedding ring, which completely surrounds little Anabelle.

Anabelle’s brother Riley was 7.5 weeks old. With his pictures, Mindy explained what happened when she gave birth to her son: “He went to heaven November 6th but was born November 23. We are blessed to have got to meet our little one. Life is incredibly beautiful! We went to walmart, then at 1pm on the way to mom’s house i started having contractions. They got more intense. When i got to mom’s i got into the tub and had my beautiful amazing little Riley at 3:35pm. Home water birth is what I’d always dreamed of having and i finally got to. Seeing Riley has brought me peace and comfort. I love him and God will care for him for me until i can be with him again. baby Riley is estimated to being 7.5 weeks, Riley was born at 10 weeks.”

“Today is a day I hate myself,” a post-abortive mother revealed when telling her abortion story. Last month, The Atlantic published the online article written by an anonymous mother. The story reveals her intense regret after aborting twins.

The mother begins by describing her difficulties with her prior pregnancies. During the second pregnancy the father urged her to abort, however she refused. In the last trimester the diabetic mother became pre-eclampsic. After her baby boy was born, she began hemorrhaging. She writes that her heart stopped beating for several minutes.

After two frightening pregnancies, the author’s concerned family were against her having other children. However, over a year later she was pregnant again. Her Obgyn warned her that she might not survive if she tried to carry the baby to full term. Despite her concern, the mother told the doctor that she did not want an abortion.

The author described the moment that changed her mind regarding the proposed abortion: “Well I went home that night scared but determined—until my almost 3-year-old-daughter and 1-and-1/2-year-old son climbed into my lap for bedtime stories and my daughter said she loved me and I needed to stay. Where that came from I don’t know, as I had told no one at that time about my doctor visit. I silently cried and hugged my babies and told them momma was going nowhere.”

Given her situation, Karen Hartman was surprised and worried upon discovering she was pregnant. She was 42 and her husband was already 56. With one son just entering his freshman year in college and the other in first grade, the couple was intending to enjoy their sudden free time. Yet, at the unexpected news of another life entering the household, Karen considered having an abortion.

Despite being an abortion advocate, Karen said she struggled with the decision. Both she and her husband had well established careers, and plenty of parenting experience. She admits that they were in a position to care for a newborn baby.

“We could do this – if we wanted to,” she explained in an article posted Fridayin The Washington Post. For them the decision rested in determining if they wanted to welcome a baby into their happy family, or not.

As is often the case, Karen’s decision was greatly influenced by her husband. He did not want another child, mainly because of his age, according to the article. He was also ready to retire, and was worried that a baby might require him to continue working.

Yet Karen said she still remained “uncertain.”After all, there were several factors that caused her to consider choosing life. Her connection with her siblings contributed to these thoughts, “I come from a family of four kids, and I adore my younger siblings.” These fond memories from her own childhood affirmed the beauty of life. She went on to say that she was “excited by the chance of having a daughter.” Yet despite these thoughts, she continued to consider abortion…

This past weekend I was privileged to volunteer at a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat. It brought back memories of the last time I was at the convent, only then I was a retreatant. It was divine mercy weekend when I attended the Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat, having never experienced an abortion or the loss of a child. It all began with a controversial research argument paper I had just written for an English class at my community college. In it I argue that abortion jeopardizes the emotional and mental stability of the mother. Someone challenged me to meet first-hand the women who have experienced abortion, insisting that knowing them and their stories would tremendously enrich my understanding of abortion. I agreed to volunteer at a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat, as it is designed to help the men and women who have experienced the loss of a child through abortion or miscarriage find peace and healing. But what at first I hadn’t realized was that I would experience this retreat just as though I were any other attendee. And this scared me, quite a bit, actually.

I was especially nervous about going in front of all these women – with all their troubles – and giving my life’s story. In fact, I was dreading it. I have been so blessed with an intact, loving family, so what on earth was I going to say for my 20 uninterrupted minutes? I was right in assuming that the other personal stories would be filled with heartache; hearing them broke my heart. The three women who attended the retreat had all dealt with so much grief in their lives, even their earliest memories were tainted. I waited until everyone else had gone, still uncertain of what to say. I didn’t speak for as long as they did, but I found it surprisingly emotional. When I was finished, I was amazed at how lovingly these women comforted me. In the end, it didn’t matter how different our stories were. Instead, we found the commonalities. Everyone reached out to one another, with merciful arms of acceptance. For me, it was the single most impactful exercise of the weekend. It allowed me to say things I had never told anyone else, hurts that were so buried in my soul I didn’t even recognize them until I began speaking. And then I was able to move past these hurts. I went to this retreat with the intent of helping others, but I found healing for a wound I hadn’t realized I harbored. Although the other women will undoubtedly continue to battle doubt and sorrow before finding complete healing, I pray that they are now assured of Christ and the Church’s boundless mercy and forgiveness.

Writing a research argument paper on the negative effects abortion has on women opened my eyes to the horrors of abortion, particularly on the mothers themselves. But the privilege of meeting these women truly opened my heart. I knew the facts; I understood the extreme psychological side effects the procedure has on so many women, but until I heard each of these beautiful women’s stories, I did not fully realize the intense brokenness and pain abortion imprints on their lives. I discovered that the victims of abortion are not only the unborn; the mothers are also victims, as they were continuously deceived and pressured into aborting their sons and daughters. Yes, it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life, but also one of the most rewarding. Women don’t simply wake up one morning and decide to abort their growing baby. So many people and decisions influenced that choice. It is undoubtedly vital to fight to end the legalization of abortion, yet it is also of the utmost importance that we treat the women and men wounded by abortion with the same compassion Christ gives to us. We also must strive to help them find healing and forgiveness in the arms of our merciful Savior.

The issue of the legalization of abortion is one of the most significant debates of our time. The arguments are highly passionate and emotional, as women and men alike fight for what they believe to be fundamental rights. Often the issue of women’s well-being is thoughtlessly cast aside as the focus remains solely on the issue of life in the womb. The mother’s mental and physical health ought to play a substantial role in the abortion debate. Slogans are carelessly tossed about, and the statistics remain relatively unknown. Yet after careful and thorough research, it becomes abundantly evident that abortion jeopardizes the emotional and mental stability of the mother.

The main intent in this post is to evaluate the effects of abortion on women, yet we would be remiss to neglect the crucial matter of whether the fetus in the womb is a life at all. Without this evidence, there is no case against abortion. The issue of when life begins is pivotal. It is the difference between a woman having some scar tissue scrapped away, and her sanctioning the murder of her baby. Scientists have proven that life does in fact begin at the moment of conception. After a great deal of research, the US Senate agreed, “Physicians, biologists, and other scientists agree that conception marks the beginning of the life of a human being – a being that is alive and is a member of the human species. There is overwhelming agreement on this point in countless medical, biological, and scientific writings” (United States). It follows that if the fetus is indeed a living person, then any act to end his or her life is nothing less than murder. If so, then the doctor and nurses who perform the operation and the advisors who advocate it, all have the blood of a defenseless child on their hands. For a woman who has had an abortion, the realization of this knowledge has an enormously negative effect on her mental well-being.“WOMEN DESERVE CHOICES THEY CAN LIVE WITH”

Unsurprisingly, scientists have discovered a strong link between abortion and emotional trauma. For the purpose of fully understanding these words, the reader can look to the dictionary definitions for aid. Noah Webster’s defines the terms emotional and mental in his American Dictionary of the English Language, “Emotional, adj. 1. Literally, a moving of the mind or soul; hence, any agitation of mind or excitement of sensibility” and “Mental, a. Pertaining to the mind; intellectual; as mental faculties; mental operations; mental sight; mental taste” (“Mental” and “Emotional”). And finally, his definition of stability is as follows, “Stability, n. 1. Steadiness, stableness; firmness. 2. Steadiness or firmness of character; firmness of resolution or purpose; the qualities opposite to fickleness, irresolution, or inconstancy” (“Stability”). These terms will be used frequently throughout this post, as the primary side effect of abortion is that of emotional and mental instability in the woman. This is demonstrated in a study performed by Professor of Human Development, Priscilla K. Coleman. According to the study, a woman who has an abortion faces an 81% increase in her chance of developing mental health issues (Coleman). Furthermore, a study by the University of Otago revealed that over 85% of the 500 women interviewed stated they had negative reactions from their abortion. These reactions included regret, grief, and guilt (Fergusson 420-426). Abortion wreaks havoc on a woman’s mental health. The weight of her decision often causes a lifetime of regret and negative psychological effects. As psychiatrist Theodore Lidz points out, “Much of what goes on in life can be blamed upon others, but the ultimate decision concerning abortion and the refusal to give that new life a chance remains with the mother. The guilt, too, is hers” (Rosen 279). The unique bond between a mother and her child is something precious. It isn’t difficult to imagine the anguish the mother feels when realizing she allowed the abortionist to end a life, especially when that life was her own child.

In order to better understand the emotional struggles abortion causes in women, there is the story of Beatrice Fedor, a woman who experienced two abortions. Both abortions resulted in years of self-loathing and emotional trauma. She chose to share her story in order to inform and encourage women. She disclosed the struggles she has dealt with because of her decision to abort, “Abortion impacts us long after we leave the clinic… women deserve choices they can live with” (Fedor). After marrying, Beatrice became pregnant a third time, and she wanted to have the baby. Yet she explained that her past continued to haunt her, as she slipped into depression. Even after the birth of her son, she felt disconnected from her new baby. In an interview, Beatrice confessed to her extreme mental anguish, “I had nightmares where I would hurt him with knives and say, ‘It’s OK, he can’t feel anything.’ Or he would drown and I couldn’t save him” (Fedor). She felt that this inability to bond with her son was a direct result of her former abortions. Sadly, thousands of women are forced to cope with similar emotional battles as they as they struggle with the reality of their decision. Consequently, abortion cannot be viewed as a safe alternative.DEFENSE OF WOMEN?

Those who advocate abortion are correct in their concern for the defense of women and their rights. Undoubtedly, the woman is also a person whose needs should be recognized. Even with the knowledge that the infant in the womb is a person, the dignity of the mother must also be respected. Contrary to popular belief, abortion threatens this safety with its numerous negative side effects. In fact, it could be argued that in order to protect a women’s safety and well-being, abortion cannot be an option. For example, according to the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons, women who have had a prior abortion have an increased risk of premature births, “Large studies have reported a doubling of EPB (Early Premature Birth) risk from two prior IAs. Women who had four or more IAs experienced, on average, nine times the risk of XPB (< 28 weeks gestation, an increase of 800 percent)” (Rooney, 46). Women are told that having an abortion is taking control of her life and timing, yet most are unaware that this action often prohibits the birth of future children. Having this procedure endangers the choice of having children later. This is one of many examples of how abortion can harm the woman’s body, as well as her future life.

The abortion advocates argue that the mother’s health and mental well-being are reasons enough for condoning the procedure. Yet surveys suggest that the case of a mother’s health being the reason for an abortion is a rare one. According to research performed by Louisiana State Center for Health Statistics and the Utah Department of Health, out of a total of 122,083 abortions performed in 3 abortion clinics, only 0.22% were caused from rape and incest, 0.42% were on account of the mother’s health, and 0.20% were due to birth defects. The total of “hard cases” made up a mere 0.84% of abortions, while 99.16% were performed for “other reasons” (Annual reports). These numbers are on the higher end of the spectrum, as research confirms the astonishingly low numbers of abortions performed out of “necessity.” Using these extreme cases, abortion advocates have justified the deaths of millions of infants. Although these cases do present women and medical practitioners with a difficult decision, this in no way accounts for the other 99% of women who abort their babies. Abortion was legalized to protect women put in difficult positions, and although this small percentage of extreme cases are given a choice, now millions of otherwise healthy women are endangered mental and physically. We as a nation cannot overlook the damaging effects abortion has on women.THE NEXT STEP

Abortion is a not merely a religious issue for the right-winged fundamentalists to battle out, it is the legalization of the death of millions of babies and the emotional scarring of millions of women. This practice comes at a high price. I propose we reevaluate abortion. Since Roe v. Wade, scientific research has informed us with the effects this procedure has on women. Consequently, it is in our nation’s best interest that we reassess the abortion issue, for the sake of American women. As widely published psychologist and avid feminist Sidney Callahan stated, “The feminist cause is being betrayed by the men and women pushing for public acceptance of the principle of abortion on demand. Arguments used in urging routine abortion deny fundamental values guiding the whole women’s movement” (Callahan 47).

So when I began a blog, I rather figured I would write on this subject eventually. After all, its upon the mind and heart of young women everywhere. So I pose the question, is it improper when your thoughts dwell upon that certain dashing young fellow?

Well, yes and no. Let’s begin with the “yes” shall we? Eve was literally formed from the rib of her husband. We were fashioned to be the man’s help meet. Consequently it’s natural for us to long for a man to support and love. So its really okay when your middle gets all tingly and your heart skips a beat. And yes, its alright to admit to yourself that you have feelings for him.

No, it’s never alright for us to allow these feelings to control us. When you’ve already chosen your future children’s names and worked out the details of the wedding, and you’re not engaged then yes you’ve gone too far. We ought to guard against too much of a good thing, lest these consuming thoughts detract from our present lives and purpose.

Alright…..now that we’re passed that let’s talk about how to act around guys in general. Be it your little brother or that very aesthetically pleasing gentleman sitting across from you.

I realize that everywhere we turn we are bombarded with advice on how to win guys. At the checkout line with your eggs and milk or all across the internet we are told we must look “hot”. Only follow these three easy steps and guys fall at your feet! Oh, and be sure to buy our mascara and you’ll be set! Alright, there are some guys who will find you attractive if you follow Vogue’s flirting advice. So how does it work? Well, the jerks and creeps will see you showcasing yourself and know you’re easy prey. Honestly, you don’t want a boyfriend who will spend a few days with you until moving on to the next naive victim.

Alright, so the ways of the world are out. But what about the too common Christian approach avoid, avoid, avoid? I want to clear the record right here and now, this is NOT the Godly way! We are called to be sisters in Christ to all; we aren’t to stare intently at an invisible object whenever they come by. Throwing yourself at a guy is one thing, but avoiding him like the plaque is equally heartless.

So where is the middle ground?

We must treat every young man as a brother in Christ. Whew! It can be a difficult pill to swallow. I know it was for me. After all, it would be more than a little creepy to imagine how married life would be with your brother. Or strategically plotting how to always end up sitting next to him. Consequently, this method leaves out every impurity or coyness in a relationship with a guy. There is only room for love. No, not the gushy, red hearts love. I’m talking about the selfless Mother Teresa sort of love, the type of love you must have for every soul you meet.

So how are we to ever find our Mr. Darcy? Whatever happened to plain, old-fashioned fate? You know, when God has everything under control? If we believe everything the Catholic Church teaches, then we ought to be confident in the gentle wisdom and care of God. So you needn’t market yourself and let every guy know how single and desirable you are. Instead strive to grow in virtue. Prepare yourself for the day Mr. Right walks into your life…it might be sooner than you think.

So I had great plans on creating a Valentine’s Day post, but this past week I was vacationing and far away from any computers. Consequently, here is my (slightly late) post on love.

Well, I don’t know about you, but when this time of years comes around, I always end up rather restless and moony. Sitting amidst a mound of school books and with a foot of snow surrounding the house, the promise of Spring is both alluring and distracting. And if your Prince Charming is still nowhere in sight, this particular holiday seems to serve only as a reminder of how alone you really are. Some put a bold face on and declare how happy they are to be single and free, but if you’re anything like me there is that little voice in the back of your head that whispers, “Just how long until I can celebrate with my soul mate?”

So what do I do to combat the Valentine’s day blues? First of all, I pray for my future husband. Sure I don’t know who or where he is, but God does. And in doing this I feel a connection with my future fellow, whoever he might be. Secondly, I surround myself with my family. When that special someone sweeps you off your feet, you won’t be with your family any more. Odds are you will spend far more Valentine days with your husband then you will with your present family. So this is a special time to cherish.

I heard a beautiful song while traveling to Virginia. Country singer Josh Turner’s smooth voice sang this touching piece. It is about husband and wife’s journey in waiting to find true love……..

Baby, I know you’ve been waiting patiently

For a man to give you all that you need
And love you like he should
Stickin’ to your guns
Lookin’ for the right one
Just somebody who treats you good
It took me a while
But, I got here as fast as I could

I ran full speed ahead without stopping to rest
Not knowing where I was headed to
Now that I’m here, it’s perfectly clear
That I was making my way to you
I can’t believe how long it took
But I got here as fast as I could

I’ve ended up on at least 100 dead end roads
Where my heart and I just wound up broke, lost and misunderstood
I tried to rush finding true love
It didn’t pan out like I thought it would
It took me sometime but I got here as fast as I could

I ran full speed ahead without stopping to rest
Not knowing where I was headed to
Now that I’m here, it’s perfectly clear
That I was making my way to you
I can’t believe how long it took
But I got here as fast as I could

Yeah, I got here as fast as I could

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