Parenting Lessons from the Child – Part 4

Hello my amazing friends, and welcome to the last post in my Parenting Lessons from the Child series! Thank you so much for sticking around for this series because I have loved sharing it with you. I hope you’ve found it thought provoking, but more than that, I hope it helped you remember some lessons of your own you want to put into your parenting.

Today I’m sharing the last of my lessons that I want to put into practice with Emmeric and any other children I have. This lesson is one that I remember my parents sharing with me even from an early age. I want to model a healthy marriage before my children.

Perhaps this sounds similar to the lesson I shared in my second post of this series. If it does, that shouldn’t be too surprising because relationship priorities are always going to be important. However, this lesson goes a little more in depth, so stick with me.

Model The Marriage You Want For Your Kids

When I got pregnant and found out I was having a boy, I started having some odd thoughts about how I would teach my son about sex someday. I say this is odd because these thoughts really bothered me for a while when I was pregnant. Logically, I told myself it wasn’t something I needed to worry about for years. But I still wondered how I would introduce the topic of sex to my children now that I was bringing one into the world.

I honestly don’t remember much about being introduced to the topic of sex as a child, but I do remember how my parents treated one another in front of me. That stuck with me as I moved into adulthood.

One thing my parents did that really struck me as different was to be very open in front of me about their marriage. They did this by being very physically affectionate to one another. Now, don’t get me wrong here. Nothing my parents did was ever inappropriate for a child to see. But they didn’t hide their love for one another, and that helped to create a stable home life for me.

Show Your Affection and Attraction

My parents flirted with one another in front of me. I remember watching TV shows and movies where parents would flirt with one another only to have the watching children gross out and make comments. To me, that seemed strange because it was normal to have your parents flirt with one another.

I loved watching my parents interact. My dad would come up and give my mom a hug from behind. They kissed in front of me. We would go to the mall, and they held hands as they walked. Dad rubbed my mom’s shoulders or neck when she was tense. He tapped her on the butt as she passed him through the doorway.

All of these were simple but powerful ways my parents shared their love for one another in front of me. I never wondered if my parents loved each other because it was obvious in their physical interactions with one another.

Tell Your Spouse You Love Him

My parents shared their love for one another verbally. This came in multiple forms. They called each other by pet names. They acknowledged one another when they spoke, and they practiced actively listening.

I listened to my parents as they talked about their day, and they showed me how much they cared for each other simply by listening. It really stuck with me as a child because I heard them share with each other and watched them reinforce their love through their actions.

You know how important it is to hear how your spouse feels about you. It reinforces your own love and relationship. But it’s just as important for your children to hear you tell one another of your love. It provides that sense of stability that your relationship is strong and healthy, and children need that.

Another thing this verbalization does is gives your children that sense that there’s some order to relationships. When you verbalize your love and affection for one another, you also model a marriage founded on mutual love and respect, something you want for your own children, right? They see this, and they want to do the same in their future relationships.

Do Special Things Together and Tell Your Children Why

I think this was perhaps one of the biggest things that stood out to me about my parents’ relationship. Every year in January, my parents took me to my grandparents’ house to spend the weekend. I loved it because I got to stay with my grandparents, who were always fun. When I got older, I asked my mom about this tradition.

She told me a lot about this weekend tradition she and my dad shared. They went to a cabin in the mountains, not far from home at all, and they spent the weekend together. It was a way to recharge, unwind, and just spend time loving each other without having a child around.

My mom was always very open with me. She told me how much she loved my dad, what features of his were attractive to her, and what things she planned out for these special weekend getaways. I learned maybe a bit more than I really wanted to know (nothing inappropriate), and I realized my parents’ relationship was very much a physical one as much as an emotional one. And you know what? It reassured me to hear my mom tell me what these weekends meant. It reminded me that my parents had a strong marriage, and I felt confidence in my own relationship with my parents because I saw how close they were.

I plan to do the same thing when Emmeric gets older and we have the means to do this. I, too, want to spend time on weekend getaways with my husband. It’s important to me to do this for our marriage, yes, but I also want to do it so my children see us in a solid, lasting relationship.

So let me ask you, dear friend, do you do these things for your children, too? Do you try to model a strong relationship with your spouse in front of your children? Tell me what you think of this in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you, and I’ll be happy to respond to every comment!

In Conclusion

Thank you for sticking with me on this amazing series! I had so much fun putting it together. I’m looking forward to a new blog post next week, and we’ll be moving into some new territory together, so come back and see what I’ve got cooking!

Rachel

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I think that’s really what parenting is all about, you know. We want our children to understand the values we hold, and the best way for them to understand is if we model relationships for them. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by and commenting!