Thursday, December 28, 2006

I thank everyone who read this stupid blog and would like to wish you and your families a healthy, peaceful and productive new year. I have been busy for the past week and last night was the last working night of the year for me and I thank God for helping me to have another successful year.

"Ha ha ha...Mad, you are a fucken cabbie for God's sake, a Cab driver and the word success don't belong in the same sentence you loser!"

Shut up bitch! You trying to put me down because I drive a cab? and I don't care what you say but my year was a success.

We haven't heard from Pastor Joe for quite some time because he is at his gravely ill father's side at a Baltimore hospital and we are praying for the best.

I am leaving for Las Vegas on Saturday to spend new year's eve in the sin city and travel back to Dallas on new years day to visit my brother and his family and watch some football games together. I will be back to DC on the 3rd but I won't be back to work until the 8th so there is going to be some down time to stare at the wall and do some thinking.

Like I predicted the Redskins will finish their season on Saturday with a win against the Giants and will have a 6-10 record. I will predict that the New Orleans Saints and the San Diego Chargers will be the contenders for the Super Bowl and I also predict that I might get laid in Las Vegas.

Please drink responsibly and don't throw up all over my fellow cab drivers!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I was reading this post by OC girl and the post was about the last Christmas gift Lizzie gave to her boyfriend Jesse which required thoughts, determination, effort and a little luck. The result? The best Christmas present her boyfriend ever got! Please read it it's a nice warm good spirited story.

"Mad are you dying or what? what's up with the uplifting Christmas story?"

No I am not dying, the reason I mentioned OC girl's post is because, like I commented in her blog I want to talk about the best Christmas gift I ever got and mark the 10th anneversery of that gift and I am not talking about that ugly ass purple jacket that Pastor Joe gave me years ago.

It was the night of December 23rd 1996 few minutes after eleven O'clock at the corner of 10th and G streets north east, a fine African American gentleman in the back seat of my cab said to me with a loud nervous voice: "CUT THE CHEESE MOTHERFUCKER, UNLESS YOU WANT A HOMICIDE IN THIS JOINT!!!" For some reason I wasn't nervous or scared in fact the phrase "Cut the cheese" was kind of funny thing to say while knocking off a cab driver I wanted to laugh, but this was no laughing matter the nigga didn't have time for a laughter or a chit chat, it was a serious business with a gun pointed at the back of my head. While I handed over my wallet and cash I said with a calm voice something like this, "I know it's tough out there bro and take everything... It's all there... I am not looking just run and Merry Christmas!" I was calm even though I was shitting in my pants.

The only time I saw him was when he entered my cab at Georgia avenue and it was dark, I never turned around and looked while the robbery was going on and after I gave him everything and he listened to what I had to say, there was a pause for a few seconds and I thought I would see what my brain looked like all over the windshield but instead the punk said "IT'S YOUR LUCKY NIGHT AND I WILL LET YOU LIVE MOTHERFUCKER!" and he opened the door and ran away in to the darkness.

I am one of the few cab drivers in Washington DC who pick up everyone without judging or discriminating, maybe that's not smart on my side but what the fuck, there are lots of decent and money paying brothas who need my service and I didn't let that incident discourage me to continue to do so. I look at it this way, he got what he wanted that night, few bucks! and I got what I always want, my life! and that was the best Christmas gift I ever had.

1- Tits: They're so nice and soft to touch, beautiful to look at and a mouthful to...

"Hold it right there Mad! This is a family friendly blog okay! we get the idea!"

2- Tuborg beer: If you are in to the horse piss garbage we brew here in the U.S, you need to start drinking this fine Danish beer. Beer is not my choice of drink (Got to watch the abs) but if I feel like it, it's always Tuborg or Carlsberg.

3-Thievery Corporation: These guys put out some bad ass music and they grew up just outside Washington DC in Maryland, check them out.

3- Thyme: This herb is a must have at Mr Mad's kitchen, you put this bad boy in any pathetic junk that you attempt to cook and are Julia Childs all of a sudden.

4- Tribe Called Quest: These brothaz, in my book are the best hip hop group ever walked on this planet, they are the real deal, forget the MTV wanna be gangsters with Ferrari and booty shaking chics, If you wanna see the real gangsters in the hood you should ride with me at night some time, the brothaz don't drive Ferrari they ride with Mad Cabbie. Tribe Called Quest are not record label commercial product they are real artists with unique talent.

5- T-Bone steak: The say the best meat is always closer and attached to the bone and I agree, I like it bloody please.

6- Twilight Zone: One of the best TV series put together and Rod Serling was a genius way ahead of his time.

7- Tyra Banks: Haba haba haba... I don't know what but there was some kind of movement in my pants while I was typing her name.

8- Tip: Yes that's right I am a cabbie and I like getting tipped well, I am not your usual lame ass cab driver who just drive to your destination, I can also speak English with limited number of words, I can entertain you, hook you up with chics, you can shop for your daily dose of crack in the comfort of the back seat of my cab, I let you give a blow job to your man in the back seat, you see all these fine public services deserve a fat TIP.

9- Tequila: I don't like drinking a lot but if I want to get a buzz with out consuming too much, just a few shots of tequila will do the trick and I am good just drinking tonic water for the rest of the night.

10- Teeth: I mean a good healthy clean teeth, nothing like a chic with a perfect smile. Kim, my on and off long time girlfriend/friend/buddy since high school has the most perfect teeth I have ever seen and that's sexy. You can tell a lot about a person just looking at the teeth, the hand and the shoes. In fact when I check out a chic I try to look at the teeth before I zoom in at the boobs! and in case if you are wondering my teeth are some of my best assets.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

I got tagged by Xtreme English and I have to write six things about myself and tagg other six bloggers, so here it is....

1- I used to break dance a lot during the early eighties and still do in front of a mirror when nobody is around! Imagine a 6'2" 200lbs freak moving around like a mental patient!!! One time my niece caught me doing my moves and she was horrified by what she saw and she is probably damaged for life.

2- Growing up as a kid Jack Lord from Hawaii-Five-O was my hero, I always wanted to be like him when I grow up and say "Book em up Danno!".

3- I used to have a huge crush on Meredith Baxter from "Family Ties" back in the 80's and I still think she's one beautiful classy woman. When ever I watched family ties my pants used to be down my ankles if you catch my drift!

4- I am a closet Bette Midler fan and I am 100% heterosexual male.(I hope Pastor Joe doesn't read this post!)I think she is the funniest female entertainer who can do it all.

5- After a hot shower I like to sleep butt naked, I like the feel of a clean sweet scented sheet, it helps me sleep faster and I think you need to breath freely down there, you know what I mean!

6- I am definitely a mama's boy and I talk to my mother almost every single day and I become paranoid if we skip a day or two. But if you see me out there I look like a bad ass motherfucker who just stabbed his mother, so don't judge a book by its cover, there is a soft side of Mad Cabbie.

Now I have to find other six bloggers to tag, definitely not Pastor Joe, if he put up his list I think he will be arrested and get 15 to life, so let me play it safe.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Few years ago I picked up a lawyer from downtown around mid night and drove him to Montgomery General Hospital in Olney Maryland. He was in a rush to be with his wife who was in emergency labor to have their first baby and after a 16 mile ride I got him there in a relatively short time, he thanked me and paid me very well. As soon as I was ready to pull away from the drive way of the emergency room a very attractive chick and a couple of Montgomery County police officers banged on my door to get my attention and I stopped. The cops asked me if I can give the young lady a ride home back to Rockville but I was trying to explain to them that I can't take her because it's illegal for a DC cab to pick up a fare in Maryland and she has to call for a Maryland cab, I thought the police were trying to set me up but they weren't, they told me she has been waiting for a Barwood Cab for over half an hour and they haven't showed up and she can't wait anymore and I noticed that she started crying aggressively. I hate to drive around outside my comfort zone and she was taking me away from my route back to the city but her tears were all over her face and I couldn't say no and the cops said to ignore the stupid law and they just want to make sure she gets home safe as early as possible.

She was a brunette in her early twenties and wouldn't stop crying even after I made a few attempts to ask what happened. A few minutes in to the ride she calmed down a bit and after a short quite moment and with a weak sad voice she said "I just got raped tonight!" God that was a shocker! and how do you respond to that? "I am sorry?" I just didn't know what to say my tongue was tied and I was angry. To make the long story short her co worker forced himself on her when they stopped by his apartment to change outfits for a night out clubbing after an office Christmas party. I don't know how many times I have said "I am sorry" but what else I could have done? nothing!

When we arrived at her apartment in Rockville without asking how much (DC cabs don't have meters) she handed me $40 for maybe a $20 fare and thanked me for the ride and she exited my cab. I TOOK THAT MONEY. On my way to DC I was pissed at my self for taking that cash, I didn't even offer that the ride was on me but I was frozen and wasn't thinking I guess, or was I another opportunistic cab driver? how many times in our life time that we would meet a person who just got raped? and I was asking myself "Why didn't the cops give her a ride?" maybe it's against their rules, I don't know but what kind of shit hole world we live in? I was troubled for the rest of the night.

A couple of years after this incident I stumbled in to this movie called "Hell Cab" or "Chicago Cab", it's a very well done and well written cab movie ever and I think who ever wrote the script had driven a cab at some point in life because it is very realistic and there is a part in the movie where the cab driver encounters almost the exact same story I told you about, it's like a twilight zone episode. When I watched that scene of the rape victim (Jullian Moore) in the back seat of the cab and the cab driver's reaction to her story, I cried because it reminded me about that poor brunette and I am usually not an emotional person at all to begin with. The other creepy thing about my story and this movie is both happened around Christmas time and the actor who was the cab driver (Paul Dillon) played the part excellent but don't think that I am a pussy like he played his part, there is a 99% chance that I can kick your ass if you are out of line.

Excuse me Mad! But didn't couple of transvestites in South Beach chased Pastor and your ass few years ago in Miami? and you guys were running for your lives Mr wanna be macho man!

Come on man! you don't have to go there! embarrassing me in front of my readers you jackass!

If you like this blog you will love HELL CAB so when ever you have the chance during the holiday please rent this movie and tell me what you think, this is a great Christmas movie okay! fuck "It's A Wonderful Life"

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Ever since that post "Hooker With One Leg" this blog has been getting thousands and thousands of hits from all over the world through a news group link called AmpLinks in yahoogroups.com devoted to amputee news, discussion and photos. When our one legged hooker friend Ms T was told by the Pastor that I posted a little story about her, she wasn't too sure but now that she's getting all these attention she wants to have her own website.

So listen up you creeps, any guy who would like to meet a very attractive 5'9" blond amputee and also have the skill to build a quality website for her and I am not talking about those cheesy ass web sites that my ten year old niece can download, it has to be a real cool commercial type quality escort service website, so she is looking for someone to work with and must be over 25 years old and you might get lucky so please drop me an email. Serious inquires only otherwise if you try to bullshit her she will kick your ass with her prosthetic leg.

I have been busy lately hustling and working hard with my regular riders and Pastor's shady clients. Thanks to you Pastor I am having fun with your niggas with AKs in my back seat motherfucker! I am glad you're coming back to work tonight after your extended trailer park vacation you white trash! because I don't like your clients and I am fucking tired! by the way the poll results we got last week suggests that 96% of you think that this blog is not offensive at all and THANK YOU.

Thank you Ms T for keeping me busy and you are the only Pastor's client I really enjoy driving you around, besides that you are sexy and hot you are intelligent and full of visions and we will get this website going for you soon, thanks to my scary fans.