Wednesday, 6 April 2016

Welcome to Womanhood: Rebecca Gindele

Dear Queen
(Queeny to be more affectionate).

You knew
you were a woman the day you realized that running from your marriage was not an option for you.

It would always catch up with you and running
is not brave or difficult, it would be the easy escape. It would always catch
up because it´s not about him, it´s about the dynamic you seek and cultivate in
your relationships – not just with men but with friends and family too. It can
be slightly egotistical – let´s be honest Queeny – you like to be at the centre
so it´s convenient taking responsibility so that the focus is on you.

But, how
can running be easy? Imagine the heartbreak, the shame of having given up, the
public explanations of why. Running is easy because when you run, you decide
that imperfect isn´t enough. Running avoids the realization that you Queeny are
not perfect and neither is he but that love is the accepting of the
imperfections. Imagine that, you don’t have
to be right and you don´t have to be the best person, be it the most
intelligent, the most hard working and moral woman Edinburgh produced; because
there are no comparisons.

Everyone is
just living a different context – a different truth. Judging and being
unsatisfied; those are your crutches.

How can we
satisfy you Queeny?

You know I´ve
been thinking...perhaps it´s about the pause. The being. The here. The now. The
joy. The satisfaction. Maybe we should stop setting the goals and just BE.
“Enjoy the journey” as they say. Dig deeper, pick up that relationship with God.
I recommend that you continue surrounding yourself with incredible women who
inspire you and who fill you with that powerful energy which flows with every
beat of your heart.

Relationships
are important to you – embrace that – smile to yourself remembering the truth
that you are a woman of courage and hope, who loves the world and cares greatly
for the people in it.

When you
moved – moving far from friends, family, jobs, and familiar locations – you
started with two suitcases and all 28 years of experiences, love and self. What
you have built these past two years has needed you to reach deep inside of
yourself and very gently pry open you´re core. You´ve grown as a woman and
opened your eyes to see yourself more clearly and in seeing yourself you can
see the world. This is your mission, to understand the world, to be kind to the
world, to be compassionate to the world; by first being understanding, kind and
compassionate to yourself. Being loved so unconditionally, and making that
journey with this man from stranger – friend – lover – partner – wife has had
such a profound impact because, as you learn to understand someone else, it has
set the scene for your own searching.

Thank you
for realizing how thankful you are for unconditional love. That someone can
love the whole of you – the bare truths – means that you are really not so bad
after all. Did you hear that Queeny? You really aren’t a bad person, you don’t
have anything to prove. This is your chance to free yourself of this burden – I
suspect it has weighed you down in the past.You don’t have to prove to anyone that you are a good person and so stop
trying to be invaluable and responsible for anything other than your own
beautiful self.

Believe
that you are beautiful – know that your healing has served you well to
understand yourself but that knowing yourself is about accepting this self of
yours. So now all that’s left is for me to wish you courage as you continue
your journey. Be brave,be kind. Continuing being and continue finding joy in
that being. You alone are enough.

Thankfully,

Rebecca

Rebecca Gindele has worked with various development and human rights NGOs, she
has a master´s degree in Human Rights with a focus on international
monitoring and implementation mechanisms for women´s rights and has
studied conflict resolution. She is very happily married, currently
living in Colombia and enjoying working on local peace building
projects.