A blog by an introvert for introverts

September 2011

September 21, 2011

This is another in a series of guest posts, this time from fellow AIIP member, Frances Caballo.

Some days I just don’t feel like networking. I’d rather stay at home, write a few blogs, or send a few tweets. But burrowing in my office won’t bring me clients or money to pay the mortgage -- so I venture out and pretend to be an extrovert.

Take today as an example. My task list included taking a new class at the gym and checking out a new networking group. Thirty minutes before the class started, I vacillated. What if the class was too difficult? What if no one wanted to show me how to use the equipment? Did I really need to exercise today? Couldn’t I just go to the gym later when it would be quiet and workout by myself? Well, I knew I wouldn’t go to the gym later so I pushed myself, went to the “Body Pump!” class, and did just fine.

Having pumped a dose of endorphins into my body, I felt confident about networking. After all, I’d just taken an exercise class with 20- and 30-year-olds. In comparison, networking with adults more my age would be a breeze.

I raced home, freshened up, and headed to the networking event. I smiled, introduced myself, asked for a few business cards, and said something that made people laugh. In short, I networked -- and it was fun.

What I rediscovered was that working out not only renews my confidence, it leaves me feeling calm and relaxed. When my anxiety disappears, I’m able to be more natural, more myself. Somehow, it isn't so difficult to take that first step, shake someone’s hand, and enjoy the conversation.

What if I don’t have time to exercise first? I apply some makeup, put on a great outfit, do some deep-breathing exercises, and pretend to be an extrovert. And then I introduce myself to the first friendly face I spot.

Frances Caballo has 22 years of experience in communications and nonprofit resource development and has worked with local, regional and national nonprofits. She is presently the Social Media Editor for Redwood Writers, a board member with Redwood Writers, and a volunteer with Golden Gate Labrador Retriever Rescue. Her company is Act Communications, and she specializes in helping nonprofits with their social media marketing, communications, and fund development needs. Frances is bilingual (English/Spanish).

September 17, 2011

This blog's included some great discussions about networking and how it's essential to being future-ready. Mention the word 'networking,' though, and it often conjures up images of hanging out with strangers, wearing a nametag, and making small talk. You leave exhausted, with a stack of business cards to show for your efforts. For weeks, the cards sit on your desk, nagging you to follow up with everyone you met – until you toss them in the trash.

It's enough to make you retreat, not charge ahead into the future! If we really must network our way into the future, then why not replace those awful images with something better?

This time, picture yourself meeting with like-minded people who work in your company or industry, share hobbies, or have similar views and beliefs. Over lunch or coffee, you make new acquaintances and catch up with long-term connections. The next day, you follow up with one contact that needs a good speaker for an upcoming workshop and send a useful article to another.

Every few months, you stay in touch with these connections – over coffee, via email, or at other events. They introduce you to new connections, and you do the same for them. Someday, someone in this group will need a favor. It could be big or small, work-related or personal. Because you have a history of mutual respect and sharing, you do what you can to help or connect them with those who can.

These two scenarios spotlight the differences between 'networking' and 'building a network.' Building a network is much more gratifying and worthwhile. Rather than talking about ourselves and seeing who can collect the most business cards, the focus is on listening, creating and fostering relationships, and sharing.

But building a network doesn't happen overnight or after one event. It's an ongoing process, and a good network takes years to develop. While email and social media facilitate connections, it takes face-to-face time to develop true, lasting relationships. There are no shortcuts, and the time to make your connections is long before you need a new job, new employee, or someone to restore your hard drive after a late-night crash.

Still would rather hide in your office or at home watching a marathon of NCIS reruns? Here are a few quick tips for getting motivated:

Learn from the experts. Building a networking takes work, and it helps to know what you're doing. For example, I always learn lots of great tips from Harvey Mackay's podcasts, and just listening to his enthusiasm makes me actually want to get out and meet new people.

Start small. Rather than a 300-person networking extravaganza, attend company lunch-and-learns, volunteer for committee work, or opt for events where you know some of the attendees. You can slowly build your networking muscles.

Set goals. Before you head out the door, decide what you want to accomplish, and give yourself permission to go home once you've reached your goals. I usually attend events with two goals in mind: 1) make plans to follow up and have coffee with one good contact and 2) help one contact with a referral.

Try out a new attitude. Replace the old images with some new ones, and start building your network now – for the future.

September 13, 2011

We have a series of guest blogs lined up. The first is from Joanna Ptolomey, a fellow editor at FUMSI.

My name is Joanna Ptolomey and I'm a nervous networker.

About 8 years ago, with 2 children under 2, I was isolated and struggling. On the verge of giving up my business and feeling detached from the information profession, I wasn’t sure how to turn things around. However, a chance remark by a fellow professional and an offer to connect me with some information professionals in a different sector re-ignited my desire to continue in business.

Coming from a project management and research background I decided to take advantage of a short period of time and set myself a 4 month personal booster project. Designed with the nervous me in mind, it was a tool to network, learn, share, and -- if need be -- a prop to hold me up.

Power networking with smart business cards, the best stationary and the slick one-liners -- well that was not me. What I learned was that networking is about building relationships for yourself and helping others build theirs. Also, relax and be yourself -- simple but true.

I decided early on that networking had to be integral to my work plans and flows -- it had to be part of the natural flow to make it seem less of a chore. That would mean seeing opportunities to connect and share where there are sometimes seemingly none.

Some things that worked for me:

Have a plan for meeting people, connecting and sharing. Perhaps develop a short project with goals and outcomes.

Share your ideas with a colleague/mentor. Experience has taught me that if I share my ideas and aspirations and be specific about outcomes, then I am more likely to have success. They will often recommend or connect me to others.

Be creative about putting yourself in different situations. One of the things I do is to get involved in focus groups in healthcare (my niche industry). I have discovered that for a short amount of time I give free, I get so much back. Many of the stakeholders are present at these events -- from patients to service delivery budget-holders.

Don’t do the hard sell. Yes, if people ask, tell them what you do and how you help people. But listening and asking enquiring questions are key. You never know what intelligence you will glean for yourself or the profile you are creating.

If you get an introduction via someone else, be prepared to be upfront about what you expect. For example, I generally want to know about how public and health libraries have been working together in consumer health information provision.

Publish or showcase what you do at selected events/organisations. I started small with the Scottish Health Information Network (a group of which I was already a member).

Social media has to be mentioned as a tool; however it really deserves its own post. Just being a friend on social media does not count. It takes the same amount of energy and effort to share consciously and effectively.

Navigating away from the nervous networker has taken time -- and I still prefer the terms sociable and sharer. Whatever works!