Random rantings from a not so girly girl trying to protect her sensitive bitz from the harsh, cruel world.

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Friday, March 12, 2010

MB has a nervous breakdown.

MB is on his way home from wherever he has been for a week. My week of single living is officially over once again.
There has been a void in the house without MB's comedic rantings. He was kind enough to share some on his way home.
That's how much he loves Girly Bitz.
These are MB's road rage rantings as he makes his way back home.
Enjoy!

MB: Did you know that there is a guy whose job is to monitor traffic and make sure wherever I go there is something there to annoy me? It's true. He watches me.
Me: No, I didn't know that.
MB: He's got a satellite too. That's how he knows where I am. I'm shaking my fist up to the sky at him right now.
Me: Why don't you put tin foil on your roof. I hear that helps.
MB: That's stupid. He sees you through the windshield, not the roof.
Me: Uh huh.

MB: WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME?! I swear to God, if you look at me one more time...Oh wait. It's okay, mister. We are both altima drivers. But I don't like your hat, sir.

MB: WTF ARE YOU HONKING AT?! WE AREN'T MOVING! NO ONE'S MOVING! Do they think if one person starts honking, then the next person honks, and it'll be like the wave at a baseball game until eventually someone moves? IDIOTS!

I think the anger was affecting his ability for rational thought because he mentioned that Corey Haim was communicating to him. I'm not sure what Corey was telling him, but it's probably better not knowing.

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Who the heck am I?

I am a self proclaimed hillbilly with an attitude problem and some book learning. I believe that a healthy dose of sarcasm and hot fudge makes everything tolerable. Just your average pudgy girl trying to get skinny and remain non-homicidal in the face of jackassery. Come join me as I mock just about everything, especially myself.