Knock three times

Did you hear the one about the allegedly drunken judge arrested on his way to a toga party? Actually, he was arrested wearing a bedsheet. And he was at a judicial conference, so it’s unlikely there was a toga party on the agenda.

A Pennsylvania magisterial district judge named Douglas Gummo was arrested by cops in East Pennsboro, Pa., last Friday after they arrived at a Radisson hotel and found him, they said, intoxicated, unclothed and wrapped in a bedsheet, according to The Patriot-News, a newspaper in Mechanicsburg, Pa.

This story is no April Fool’s joke, even though this happened April 1 and the judge shares a name with the least-known Marx Brother, Milton “Gummo” Marx.

The police said that Gummo harassed a woman – they reported he showed up at her room and she wouldn’t let him in; he kept coming back, knocking on her door three times. The last time he was banging for 10 minutes and trying to turn the doorknob, the cops told the newspaper.

Who was the woman? Another magisterial district judge.

Judge Gummo was charged with harassment, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. Here’s guessing he will be hearing from the Pennsylvania judicial disciplinary authorities pronto.