In Need of Guidance and Prayers

In November 2017 I was diagnosed with HSV (Herpes simplex virus). It’s been about 8 months now.

I met this boy from a mutual friend. We got involved. I liked him but he didn’t have the same feelings. I was such a dumb teen but that’s how it all started. I eventually got symptoms. I googled search them and the first thing that came up was “herpes”. I asked the guy about it and he swore he didn’t have anything. However, my symptoms just got worse. I was indenial but I knew deep down there was a chance it was that. Eventually, I told my mom and she took me to the emergency room. That day was the worst day of my life. The doctor was sure I had HSV. When the test results came in, it was confirmed. I told the guy but he said he had nothing and had never had symptoms. Most people get no symptoms when they have herpes. Therefore, till this day he’s convinced he doesn’t have it.

My life hasn’t been the same since. In January and February it felt so unreal and I did everything I could to get it off my mind. I wasn’t sucidal but I didn’t care to live. March came around and everything hit me. I hated myself. I thought I would never be loved or ever to get to have children because nobody would ever want to be with me. I went into depression and isolated myself from everybody. I didn’t want to go out and meet new people. I thought my life was over.

Senior year is suppose to be fun but it was the worst for me. Nobody really knew how I was feeling. I didn’t want my mom worrying about me. So I kept everything to myself. It was a very lonely time for me. I felt empty and I just felt like nobody would understand.

April 1st came and my aunt took me to church with her. I hadn’t been to church in years and didn’t know what to expect. I cried so much during the service because I just knew God is what I needed in my life. It all made me feel less empty. Only God knows how I truly feel. I share everything with him. I no longer feel empty and lonely. Till this day I attend church Sunday and am happy to call myself a Christian.

One night I came across a healing prayer and I did my research on divine healing. It gave hope that night and I decided to prayed for healing. The next morning I woke up thinking “silly me, a miracle like that would never happen to me.” However, I started obsessing over the thought of me being healed so I prayed every morning and night about for it. I didnt want my relationship with God to only be about this virus and me being healed from it so I stopped asking for it and started to lose hope on me being healed.

Graduation came around and I was still angry with myself. Literally on the field right before I’m about to get my diploma I thought about how I’m enetering the “real world” with this virus and I felt so disappointed and upset with myself. Graduation was suppose to be one of the happiest days of my life but it wasn’t. I wanted to forget about it all so I partied hard after graduation. I just wanted to live my life like a normal teen. I always thought about the person I use to be before I got the virus and I missed being that person. I thought I was missing out on so much and because of that after promising God I wouldn’t make the same mistakes, I made the same mistakes. I felt so disgusted with myself. I realized because of God I am turning into a beautiful person (despite the virus) and was missing out on nothing. I felt like since I made those same mistakes I had no business asking for God’s healing anymore. So I just dealt with it.

At first I thought I was being punished for having a sex life. However, this could have happened to anybody. Unfortunately, it happened to me and I don’t want to live my life like this anymore. I get back to back outbreaks. It’s painful and super uncomfortable. I want to genuinely be happy with myself and my life. I’m 18 my life has just started but I’m so sad with everything. Having this virus has held me from doing so much and being happy. I tell myself everything will be okay but at the end of each day I cry myself to sleep. I try to always be positive about everything but it just isn’t enough. I am not happy and haven’t been for a while. I know I’m not a horrible person I deserve to be at least happy. I am human. I made mistakes. We all do. God knows every mistake we’re gonna make before we make it and he still loves us. God is my only hope. I need help on doing it the right way this time. Please help me with guidance and prayers to receiving God’s healing.

This is something I read on www.hopefaithprayer.com. It is an excerpt from the writing of AB Simpson. It struck me to …

15 Comments

M7/27/2018

Dear Em123,
You have a revelation from God already that all you need is him and no one else. I know how it is to make mistakes and how awful the feeling is when you make the same mistakes. I haven’t been in a situation like yours but I have made mistakes and God has always been there for me. You know I learnt one thing from my own experience that devil is happy till the time you don’t know the truth.. but he gets mad and loses his power over you when you find out the truth. You are being punished is a lie that Satan is trying to hit you with and my dear don’t fall for it. Truth is that all your sins have been forgiven already when Jesus shed his blood on the cross. Divine healing is truth and God not interested in healing you just because you made mistake is a lie. You need to read the word of God and proclaim it in your life. Bible says that whoever the son of man sets free, he is free indeed. And it also says that “Truth shall set you free” and truth is God’s word! Read and meditate on the scriptures. Ask forgiveness before you begin and let his word minister to your heart. There will be struggles but trust in Him, God will help you. Healing is already provided for you in Jesus name! Bible says : By his stripes we are healed!!! If you need any help, Ask the Lord to help you. He always listens to his children but you have to seek forgiveness, forgive the guy or anyone who has ever hurt you and then start telling God how you feel. He knows everything but you have to tell him, because he loves to hear from you. And still if you ever need someone to hear, manbhu121 at gmail dot com you can email me. God bless you!

My dear one. God has raised people from the dead, keeps the universe together by His thought and knows the number of hairs on your head. Do you think a little virus can thwart Him? You must believe that He wishes for you, his beloved child, to be whole and healed. You would not be the first. What they say about it being for life is wrong, because His power is greater. Read James 5:13 -20.It is our unbelief that keeps us from being healed. It is our fear that God will not answer and we will be disappointed and lose faith. When faith is all you have, you hold it tightly and refuse to challenge it. But that kind of faith cannot grow. I have seen many healings. I have been healed. Turn the praise back to God and be grateful. For Jesus is our healer. Praise be to the Lord God. God does not punish children with evil, but He will use such things to constrain and keep us from harm. God bless you and keep you.

You may be healed one day, or you may never but if you belong to God and have committed your life to Him, He has healed you from the greatest disease ever: sin! He now sees you as pure and blameless. You are precious to Him. HSV is not a judgement for your sin, It is a consequence of it. Jesus took all the judgement on the cross and if you accept it, that makes you a christian and you wll be totally free of charges.

Bible passages are coming to mind for you to cling on: Mark 2.1-12 has to be the one to pray from. Similar story to yours: a man is brought up to Jesus for physical healing and Jesus forgives his sins because this is a primary need for every human being. However he also heals him physically.

Romans 8 is another passage to cling on. There is no condemnation for you from the moment you accept Jesus died on the cross for you. He loves you unconditionally. He may not deliver you form this virus and He may teach you how to rely on Him and live with it. Or he may heal you and I am surely going to pray for this because I believe in a God who still heals today. But either way, He will display his love (and he already has on the Cross) for you and will do for you according to your needs. I am also going to pray for you to be happy again. That you may find peace, rest and joy beyond every thing else.

Your life is NOT a failure, do not let Satan whisper the idea. It is a lie. Your life is a success because if you pu your trust in Jesus Christ, HSV or not. The disease will NOT define who you are and your worth. You really need to believe this even before you ask for healing :-) If you have put your trust in Jésus, then you are defined by your status before God and that is FORGIVEN, ADOPTED, BLAMESS CHILD OF GOD.
I recommand this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LULK2nZ6sCc

Take heart!

(ps: if you’re going to be a student, I suggest that you join a christian community on your campus to help you and support you. It seems to me that you’re in the US so I could suggest Intervarsity ministry. If you’re not the in US, the same ministry exist worldwide: UCCF in the UK, IFES in Ireland, AFES in Australia and so on).

Thank you so much for the prayer and comment. I actually have thought that maybe I won’t be healed from this virus physically but emotionally. God has a plan. And I know I’ll be okay either way. Once again thank you for this. God bless you.

Dear Em, my friend got Herpes when she was 14 years old. She is always open about it as she should be with her partner. There is medicine you can go on to reduce the frequency of the outbreaks. Also, some people have no symptoms of Herpes yet they have it or carry it and it has never surfaced yet. Some people know they have it and lie about it too. My friend was a virgin. She worked at Planned Parenthood. She had sex with a guy who had already had sex with others. In his testing he did not show that he had venereal warts. Because they were deep within his penis. He gave her warts. I know a man that also gave a woman that was a virgin Herpes. He was not a virgin. He has not had a visible outbreak. People that carry Herpes can transfer Herpes to others even though they are showing no outward symptoms. My friend also worked at a medical facility. A guy came in that had just married his wife. He found out at the visit that the symptoms that brought him to the clinic were Herpes. He was shocked because she was the first woman he slept with in his life. . He told his new wife and she admitted to him that she did not want to tell him she had Herpes because she knew he would not marry her. In your situation you have to accept the fact that you got this now. You are still a good person. You have to be honest about your situation with anyone that you will be intimate in your future. There are people out there that will love you regardless of your condition. You also must reduce stress out of your life and go on the medication that reduces the outbreaks. Paris Hilton, has Herpes and is on this medicine. In fact there is a well known Baseball player that has given Herpes to a number of famous celebrities. I also understand he gave it to Jessica Alba. Also look up the pictures of the actress Katie Holmes, with a very bad Herpes facial outbreak. My point is that many people have it. There are also different types of Herpes. A fever blister is Herpes. Someone with a fever blister, if they are intimate with you in your private area can transfer Herpes to this area. Genital Herpes is type two, but there are other types. Go to your Doctor and ask about getting Valtrex or other similar offers to reduce your outbreak. Try not to look at this as badly as you are. It isn’t like you lost a leg or went blind. Unfortunately you caught this. You are not dirty or tainted. You unfortunately were young and it could happen to anyone. My ex-husband gave me several types of venereal disease. Lucky for me it was something that could be cured permanently. Look online for Herpes help groups. You are not alone. Don’t feel bad or guilty. There is nothing you can do about the past.

Hey ,you will be okay nothing is impossible with God .God can heal you from so many things let his will be done hun.A guy gave my cousin HIV worse than herpes but she has lived to tell the tale .God kept her and in fact blessed her with a child and a man who loves her from the earth to the moon.She is very healthy ,of course in the future you might come a cross guys who wouldn’t date you but what’s not meant to be yours shall not be ,but God is full of surprises .He opens better doors with better blessings.If you need someone to speak to I am here coz when I was going through a rough path I felt like I couldn’t speak to close family .enivol that’s my instagram just message me.

Being reminded of things from before becoming a christian has helped me. Either old photos or my daily reminder of my stroke because I didn’t take care of myself; definitely reminds me of the good work god has been doing in my life since turning it all over. It will take some time to eliminate the shame but I want to share a recent devotional with you, I hope it helps.