You can do this on your own, but if the partner you are separating from is willing and a fair divorce is your mutual goal, then share this ceremony. It will lay down wonderful loving foundations for your future.

Ceremony:

You will need a candle (white or violet colour), a bowl of water, sandalwood incense or a smudge stick, matches and some soil/rice. Doing the ceremony outdoors in a tranquil garden would be wonderful, but a quite space indoors is another option. Before the ceremony begins, take time to create your space and do so with an open heart. Allow tears to flow if that is how your body is moving your emotions and stay clear of anger and resentment. You might place cushions on the floor for comfort and make sure you will not be disturbed for half an hour.

When you are ready to perform the ceremony, re-enter the space with reverence. Seat yourself and close your eyes (if there are two of you, then face one another). Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind of the past and notice how you are feeling right now. Light the candle which represents the spirit and take as long as you need to gaze into the flame and mentally release your negative thoughts and regrets around this marriage that is ending.

When that feels complete, light the incense/smudge stick and ‘wash’ around your body with the smoke. This cleanses the emotional/mental energy in your aura. While doing this be very honest with yourself about your feelings. Expose them to the smoke (cleansing air).

Now dip your fingers into the water and feel in your body where you still feel connected to your partner. You want to place just a drop of water on the skin and invoke that the cords and vows that bond you to this spouse be broken and cleared. Sever and cleanse all remnants of the energetic bonds of marriage to this person – making room for future love connections to be made without feelings of guilt.

Finally, take some soil/rice into your hands. And into this representation of earth speak a loving statement of release that is uniquely your own. ‘Bury’ your words into the soil, releasing your former spouse and setting them free to move forward prosperously.

Written for fairdivorce.co.za by Candice Jones (Spiritual Mentor – Stellenbosch)

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