Mortgage Crunch Blues: More Song Parodies To Sing By

Here are more song parodies (see my previous post) to try to bring a smile to those of you upside down in your mortgage (or upside down in your Capital One and Countrywide stock):

From a Colorado mortgage company grunt, the appropriately named Rocky M (talk about smiling through the pain), called "Green Tree Beret' and sung to the "Green Beret" theme:

Drunken AEs from the bars With resumes, they drive their cars Men who mean, not what they say They were employed, just yesterday Their notepads with the lenders crest They all say, they were the best Please give us jobs, we'll start today Don't wanna give our beemers away

Trained to live, in Brokers land Trained in packaging, hand to hand AEs who faxed by night and day They were trained, Green Point Beret. Silver Pens, upon their chest Sadly these, were America's best.

Head hunters see, 1000 today But only two, they'll ask to stay Back at home, a young wife waits Her AE husband, met his fate OD'd on rum, he was depressed Leaving her this last request If our son should, become a rep Make him learn well, don't skip a step If hes too weak, to take the pace Don't let him go, to a sub prime place.

Here's one from financial analyst Ken M., sung to the melody of "Prime Time" by The Alan Parsons Project:

All of my Alt-A loans can't last forever All the loans that I made, were turning out right Package up all these loans, let's get them levered Something in the air Maybe for the only time in my life Something in the air Guiding me 'round and causing me fright And it's the Sub-Prime Maybe the stars were right I got my deposition Gonna be my time tonight.

Even the strongest loans, well, "never say never" All of my banking friends are turning to flight Hedge fund dudes at Bear all looked so clever Something in the air Maybe for the only time in my life Something in the air American Home Mortgage screaming "good night" And it's the Sub-Prime Maybe the stars were right I got a premonition Gonna lose my dime tonight….gonna lose my dime tonight.

CNBC.com photo composite

Fake Jane

FAKE JANE IS ONE-UPPED BY FAKE LEONA PR exec Nick R. has used Fake Jane as his inspiration to write this for Fake Leona Helmsley:

"So this is what hell is like ... I thought it would be hotter ... I have to pay retail? That's insane ... is that Milton Berle over there -- geez wonder what he did ..."