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Sunday, July 26, 2015

Preparing for Arrival.

My granddaddy is in the hospital for a few days after a fall. The test results indicate that he had a minor heart attack and has some issues with his kidneys. There aren't a lot of health care options when you are in your nineties and your body is wearing down. These are the times when people start having hard conversations about quality vs. quantity of life and all that it entails. For example, having heart surgery at his age would probably result in kidney failure which would result in dialysis--it just doesn't make a lot of sense. While I don't believe this is the end, we've seen a steady decline in his health and well-being and it's just another reminder that life is precious. We are hopeful that he will be able to come home in a few days, possibly with some at-home care.

We spend our whole lives preparing for arrivals. Where we're going. What we're going to do once we get there. What we are going to do when it's time to leave this present place and arrive at the next destination.

Our parents prepared for our arrivals, and now we spend our lives preparing ourselves for what comes afterwards.

And we are all marching towards our Final Arrival.

Life is a complicated thing sometimes. The impending beginnings and endings can bring a whole lot of tangled emotions that we're not always prepared to deal with--because it's not about simply being happy or sad. There are conflicting emotions and anger and regret and fear and anticipation and even relief.