Kill These Cars Now

General Motors is talking about shedding as many as four brands in a desperate scramble to stay alive, and it’s about freakin’ time. The General has more dead wood in its lineup than the Sacramento Kings. But why should Rick Wagoner have all the fun? We gearheads should be in on the slaughter. After all – it’s our tax money keeping those guys afloat. Let us start swinging an ax.

But why stop with GM? All of the Big Three have lame cars that oughtta go, something Chrysler seems to acknowledge by killing the PT Cruiser. Even Ford, which has already dumped Land Rover and Jaguar, is looking to unload Volvo.

We’ve got a few suggestions for cars that Detroit should be killed, and we want to hear your suggestions for cars that should get Saw V treatment. Let the carnage begin!

The Dodge Nitro

The Dodge Nitro is a study in contrasts. Even with Stow-n-Go, the Nitro is all show and no go. Behind that imposing grill lies a puny powerplant and a drivetrain prone to failure. If that isn’t enough, despite its diminutive stature the Nitro’s fuel economy is worse than larger SUVs. Rumor has it that Chrysler plans to replace the not-so-cute ‘ute (along with the similarly undesirable Jeep Compass) sometime within the next four years. The replacement better be good, as they won’t have the PT Cruiser as a punchline anymore. Photo: Chrysler.

The Pontiac G3

While rebadging Chevys as Pontiacs is as Canadian as hockey and poutine, the Aveo doppelganger known as the G3 somehow made it south of the border. We think more Americans should be driving small cars, but not this tinny captive import. It seems that drivers agree — we can’t recall ever having seen one on US roads. We imagine it’ll get eliminated along with many of its stablemates, but until that time the only way the G3 helps out GM is by making the other cars at the dealership look good by comparison. Photo: GM.

The Vestigial GMCs

Even the truck-lovin’ folks at Truckin’ Magazine concede that the "Professional Grade" GMC brand is as inspirational as a speech by Bobby Jindal. "To be honest there is no point of keeping GMC alive for much longer," wrote one forum poster. "Look at Oldsmobile and Plymouth, I mean does anyone really miss them?" asked another. Our professional opinion is that GMC should take a serious look at how much it costs to keep this brand alive. Photo: GM.

The Chevy Avalanche

Yes, we hate the body cladding, and no, we can’t understand why GM
didn’t just offer the mid-gate system as an option on the Silverado, but the true reason we want to kill the Avalanche is because of it’s dismal sales figures. Even three years before $4 a gallon gas, sales of the Avalanche began falling faster than, well, an avalanche. From a 2002 high of nearly 90,000 trucks sold, a mere 35,003 Avalanches made it off the lot in 2008. Photo: GM.

So there you have it. We could go on, but we figure you’ve got an opinion and we want to hear it. Use the Reddit widget to upload a photo of a car you think should be killed and vote for your favorite submission.