I’ll be honest, I’ve never been more bored by a drubbing than tonight’s 7-3 Caps victory over the Florida Panthers. Maybe it was because Japers Rink’s FREE ALEX signs got more facetime than the Russian Machine did. Maybe it was because the hundreds of people who WERE in attendance at BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida, were practically comatose during the entire game. Or maybe it was because Florida’s team defense was so bad that every member of it could have been replaced by a lawn chair and no one would have noticed a difference.

Oh well! A win’s a win, right?

For the first time in team history, the Washington Capitals swept an entire season series against the Panthers, embarrassing the Kitty Cats in 6 consecutive games. Also of note: The Capitals are now just 11 points away from clinching the Eastern Conference Crown and are 3 points away from having a double digit lead over the San Jose Sharks in the race for the President’s Trophy. Uh? Awesome!

Even more awesome? Brendan Morrison managed to have 4 Goals, 6 Assists and 10 points in 6 games against the Panthers this year. A little over a quarter of B-Mo’s points have come this year against the Southeast Divison’s second worst team. But really, who needs Sasha Major when you’ve got Brendan Morrison slaying at this rate?

Apparently, not the Washington Capitals. Washington’s gone 7-2-0 without their Captain in the lineup. They now average more goals without him – 4.9 – than with him 3.8. Is this a testament to how good the Capitals are overall? Sure. Why not? But tonight, let’s not read too much into it. The Panthers seemed more interested in watching Tomas Vokoun’s save percentage regress to the mean than actually play hockey tonight.

Do you remember that time when Brooks Laich was awesome? What? He’s awesome every night? Mike Knuble Jr. was the only other Washington player who managed a three point night, notching 2 goals, an assist and a PAT. He even played coy with reporters after the game. Oh ladies, time to swoon. Is this the start of a late season hot streak for Brooksie? We sure hope so. He’s currently on pace for his first 30 goal season of his career and we’d sure like to see him get it.

Do you know who already has 30 goals? Alex Semin does! Who knew? Sasha minor picked up his 32nd goal tonight on the powerplay while easily sweeping garbage behind JP’s Favorite Goalie of all time. Semin also managed to pick up a 2 minute minor for roughing – which was the last time during the game I showed any interest at all – after exchanging manly hate shoves with Cory Stillman in a second period scrum. With the giant lip scar, Semin looks… kinda… tough? Did I just write that?

Finally, you know the Florida Panthers are not going to make the playoffs. Why? Because the Panthers staff spent more time hyping up the April 18th Bon Jovi Concert than promoting anything relating to the team. I received about 7 different complaints from fans watching the game saying pretty much the same thing: “GOD I’M SO SICK ABOUT HEARING ABOUT FREAKIN BON JOVI.” Fedor estimated that he was forced to sit through about 4 commercials and my friend Katie Stansbery estimated that arena announcer mentioned the concert at least 5 different times. I guess the Panters’ Playoff Hopes are “Livin On A Prayer“? ZINGGG.

Locker, postgame, mentioned that the Capitals 47th Victory on the season was a simple tale of “Men against Boys.” And it’s hard to argue with his logic there (please ignore this logic however 1, 2). I loved the pure domination tonight, but it was too dominatey for me. So Capitals let’s tone it down a bit. Keep your leads under 5 goals or you’re going to lose me as a fan (and as a sane blogger). Is that selfish?

Anyways, all in all, tonight was just really weird. Both Peter and Neil dissed me for girls while Fedor couldn’t stop complaining about having to watch a video feed (in Moscow) of the Caps game via the Panthers telecast. RMNB’s in turmoil!! But I should look at the positives. At least I successfully made fun of Down Goes Brown and my favorite player is one game closer to returning to the lineup. I’ll take it. Good win, boys.