Tall Tales in Meatballs Land

Lately, the screen adaptation of the world’s greatest children’s book ever, “Where the Wild Things Are,” has been dominating the nostalgia circuit. Everyone, it seems, has a strong opinion on the movie, a.k.a. the “issue.” But “Where the Wild Things Are” isn’t the only childhood tome to be exhumed this season; there is also “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” a favorite, unassuming picture book about the town of Chewandswallow and its errant, hyperactive weather patterns, the movie version of which is due out on September 18th.

True, “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” doesn’t have the artistic cachet of “Where the Wild Things Are.” It’s not a Caldecott winner, and a brief Google search reveals far more people with “Wild Things” tattoos than “Meatballs” tattoos. And though “Meatballs” approaches similar childhood-centric themes—be careful what you wish for, be grateful for what you have—it’s more of a standard tall tale, told by a winking old grandpa (confirmation of its falsity); where “Wild Things” creates a new, frightening, beautiful, and believable world, the world of “Meatballs” is a simulacrum of reality, with a single major difference: food falls from the sky.

And not healthy food. Mashed potatoes and spaghetti and hot dogs: it all floats onto the open platters of hungry, grateful townsfolk. And, like a good waiter, the heavens don’t forget the condiments; butter and syrup—anything rationed to a growing kid—naturally follow a tower of pancakes. It’s a divine decree: You shall have french fries for dinner. It is a glorious fantasy until hurricane season. And now it is a movie.

Judging by the trailer, the “Wild Things” movie does not attempt to reinvent the book; it is clearly in love with its source material. It looks lovely:

“Meatballs,” on the other hand, is unrecognizable:

What was once a tale about how a small town copes with disaster and the downside of having too much of a good thing is now the story of young ambition gone awry (a science experiment accounts for the food showers in the movie), with a host of new characters, rumbling jokes, and backstories. Now, sardines are the food of the dispossessed; enormous fortune cookies give up-to-the-minute predictions.

Harrumph. Sardines are an incredibly delicious, healthy, sustainable, and cheap seafood that more people should be eating! And there is no spiky-haired wannabe inventor named Flinn in Chewandswallow! And where is Grandpa Henry? Can’t these people read???