As Bullying.org recieves nearly one million visitors and contributors from around the world each month, we cannot always answer every question we receive, but we will try to post answers to the questions we are most often asked here. We hope this helps!

Bullying is a learned behaviour. It is when a person or group tries to hurt or control another person in a harmful way. There are three aspects of this hurtful behaviour that almost all experts agree on; in bullying there is a difference in p

ower between those being hurt and those doing the hurting, bullying involves hurtful behaviours that are repeatedand intentional. Bullying is not about a conflict that needs resolving. In bullying, the power is all in one person or a group's control. People who bully others show loathing and contempt for those they are trying to hurt.

There are lots of different kinds of bullying, and they all hurt. Sometimes bullying means hitting, kicking, pushing, shoving, or making someone do something they dont want to do. Sometimes bullying is using mean words or threats, calling someone names, or saying bad things behind their back. Bullying can even mean making someone feel unsafe or scared, leaving them out of games, or making them feel that theyre not important. Bullying can be verbal, physical, social (shunning, ignoring or leaving someone out on purpose), and also involve cyberbullying (being bullied through the information and communication technologies. See

www.cyberbullying.orgfor more information about this).

People who bully think that it makes them important, but it really just makes them mean.

Bullying is a behaviour, it is something people learn. Bullies may also be bullied themselves, or they were bullied at one time or another in their lifetime. People bully because it makes them feel superior to others. They might get power and strength from bullying others. People bully to get attention. They think that it makes them popular, or that bullying may be a way to fit in. Bullying doesn't make someone popular or cool, it just makes them mean. People who bully are often scared about something about themselves, so they try to scare others to hide their feelings or pick on others so they won't get picked on first. People who bully are unhappy and they take out their unhappiness on others. People who bully feel little or no responsibility for their actions, and often feel the need to control others and may always feel the need to win. People who bully may be jealous of the people they are bullying. People who bully are unable to understand and appreciate the feelings of others. People who bully always choose the one person they know they can win against (basically bullies are chickens). People who bully are excellent observers of human behaviour.

People who bully use 'differences' to make victims feel badly about themselves, such as "You're ugly, stupid" etc. as an excuse for their bad behaviour. It's not the 'difference' in the victim that's the problem - it's the bullies who have the problem because they are afraid, jealous, envious, cruel, angry, insecure, and unhappy.

Remember, it's our "differences" that makes us special and unique. You should be proud of who you are. Don't let people who bully take that away from you. Don't give people who bully that power over you.

Even though people who bully cause a great deal of pain for others, they need help too.If they do not learn how to change their behaviours, they usually end up in trouble with the law. By age 24, 60 percent of people who were childhood bullies have at least one criminal conviction. People who continue to bully have many other problems as adults who show more alcoholism, antisocial personality disorders and need for mental health services.

Some people who bully may not even understand how wrong their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.

The best defense against a people who bully is to LIKE YOURSELF, be CONFIDENT in YOURSELF, and DONT LOOK LIKE A VICTIM. You should never try to beat people who bully at their own game. You can't bully someone who bullies into not being a bully. If you need help, tell an adult you know and trust. It is hard to solve such problems on your own.

First, you need to know that you are NOT alone in being bullied. You need to know that being bullied is NOT YOUR FAULT. You also need to know that there are many positive things that you can do about bullying.

People who bully might tell you things like "You're stupid and ugly" or other bad things. They might try to hurt and control you by telling you that your hair or skin colour, size, sex, race, religion and other things are bad. Don't believe bullies. These things are not bad. If fact, it is these very things that make you special and unique in our world. These mean words and actions tell us all more about the people who are saying and doing such things, than about you.

Bullying is really about others who want to have power and control over you. People who bully want you to feel badly about yourself. Don't give bullies that power.

Being bullied can be embarrassing, scary and very hurtful, but you should know that you don't have to put up with being bullied. It is NOT a normal part of growing up.

Bullying is wrong. Bullying is something some people learn, that means it is something we can change and there are things we can do to deal with bullying. Here are some things we all can do to stop bullying:

·Learnabout what bullying is and then share this with others, like your parents, friends, teachers, sport coaches and others. A lot of adults believe that bullying is just a normal part of life, IT'S NOT -BE the change! And teach them that people should not just accept bullying.

·Take the Bullying.org and Family Channel Pledge

·You need to know that you are NOT alone in being bullied. Being bullied is embarrassing, scary and hurtful, it is normal to feel scared if you are being bullied, but being bullied is NOT normal and you shouldn't have to live with being bullied!

·You need to know that being bullied is NOT your fault. Bullies might tell you mean things about yourself, but don't believe them. Bullies will say what ever they can to try and have power over you. Don't let them!

·You need to know that there are lots of things you can do to help bullying stop, for yourself and for others.

Don't keep it to yourself: tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. It's really hard to stop bullying by yourself. Parents, teachers, principals, sport coaches, Guide and Scout leaders can all help to stop bullying.

Write down what happened Who was bullying? Where did it happen? Who did what? Who saw it?

Telling is not tattling. Telling we do to help make things safer and better. Tattling is what people do when they want to get someone else in trouble on purpose.

Be brave When you're scared of another person, it's hard to be brave. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. If you act as though you're not afraid, it may be enough for a people who bully to leave you alone.

Stay calm and don't act upset or angry: bullies love to get a reaction. Practice what you'll do and say the next time it happens. If you don't act upset or react the way they want you to, they may get bored and stop.

Ignore the people who bully. Try to ignore a bully's threats. If you can walk away, it takes a bullies power away because they want you to feel bad about yourself. Don't react. Don't let the people who bully win!

If ignoring them won't work, tell the people who are bullying to stop, say "Cut it out!", "That's not funny!", "How'd you like it if someone did that to you?" Let the people who bully know that what he or she is doing is stupid and mean.

Stand up, don't s tand by Kids can stand up for each other by telling a people who bully to stop teasing or hurting someone else. You shouldn't try and fight the people who bully . This almost always makes things worse. Walk up to the person being bullied, talk with them and then walk away together.

Refuse to join in and don't just sit back and watch. The bully wants an audience. You give bullies power when you watch. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

Be a friend Kids who are being bullied can sure use a friend.Walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same for someone else who's having trouble with a bully. Look out for kids who are new to school, or those kids who always seem to be alone.

Join a club, a team, or a group This is a great way to make new friends. This really helps when you are new to school.

Don't fight back First of all it's a dangerous thing to. Secondly, it usually makes things worse for everyone. Besides, you can't bully a bully into changing the way they are acting. Stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.

Sit or walk near an adult or friend Sit near the bus driver. Walk with a teacher or friend during recess or lunchtime.

Take a different path to and from school

What Can Be Done about Bullying? An Anti-bullying Toolkit for Kids

Leave at different time

Don't bring expensive stuff to school

Share your story, find help, support and information on this Web site.

Make sure the kid who's being bullied tells an adult. Offer to go with them if it will help.

If they don't want to talk to anybody, offer to talk to someone for them.

Involve as many people as possible, including other friends or classmates, parents, teachers, school counselors, and the principal.

Remember:

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs it, and when you need it, someone will stand up for you.Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsibility to respect others!

·Don't join in. Don't be mean to other kids by calling them names or picking on them.

·Walk away. Help the kid who is being bullied by leading them away from the bully, without looking at the bully. Did you know that bullying usually stops within 10 seconds after someone who is watching (a bystander) gets involved? Get help from an adult or yell for help if you need to.

·DO NOT try to fight the bully. You should never make fun of a bully or say mean things to a bully. It will just make things worse for you and everyone else.

·Believe the kid being bullied. Listen to what they have to say.

·Don't make the bully feel important by paying attention to them. When you ignore bullies, you take away their power.

·Bullies like to look tough in front of others, so they almost always have an audience when they are being mean. Most of the time the bullying will end if someone like you steps in to stop it.

·Make sure the kid who's being bullied tells an adult. Offer to go with them if it will help. If he or she doesn't want to talk to anybody, offer to talk to someone they trust for them.

·Involve as many people as possible, including other friends or classmates, parents, teachers, school counselors and the principal.

·Stand up, don't stand by. Kids can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or hurting someone else.

·Refuse to join in and don't just sit back and watch. The bully wants an audience. You give bullies power when you watch. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

·Be a friend. Kids who are being bullied can sure use a friend. Walk with a friend or two on the way to school or recess or lunch or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same for someone else who's having trouble with a bully. Look out for kids who are new to school, or those kids who always seem to be alone. Invite the new kid at school to your party. Think about how you feel when you're left out of something.

·Treat others the way you want to be treated. Stand up for someone when he or she needs it, and when you need it, someone will stand up for you. Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsibility to respect others!

Fact: Peers are present 85% of the time when bullying occurs.

Fact: Bullying will stop within 10 seconds most of thet time when someone else steps in to be a friend to the victim.

You need to realize that hurting other people doesn't make you important, it just makes you mean. Think about ways you can be a leader without hurting others, like getting involved in sports, school groups and community activities. If you need help or advice, talk to someone you trust.

Remember that bullying isnt just hitting someone or beating them up. Spreading gossip, calling someone mean names or leaving someone out of your game or refusing to invite them to your party are other forms of bullying, too. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

People who continue to bully when they are young, often end up being in trouble with the law and having many other serious problems.