Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Does Hashem Care About Our Resume?

Shidduch resume, that is.

DIP3's resume is "different".
instead of writing "summer jobs", it says, "how she spent her youth"
instead of writing "our mechutanim", it says "our new family"

And the clincher that is causing angst and concern by some well meaning friends...
instead of writing that creative, all tellling, very descriptive word "references", I wrote (please prepare yourself for daring, on the edge, risque language) "the people who know and love her".

to back up:
Some good dear friends, very well meaning, have DIP3's best interests at heart, have told me her shidduch resume is too out of the box. Too different, unusual, too much let's make the effort to be different.

So I admit, yes, that's why I wrote it up more creatively.
her personal info (birthday, height, phone #)
how she spent her youth ( summers)
where she went to school
her family (as it sounds: parents, siblings)
what she's doing now (name of schooling/degree)
our new family
the people who know and love her

So please tell me what you think:
does a resume like this indicate extreme effort to be wierdly different and radically dramatically in your face different to the point where you would automatically look and say "ewww! what wierdo people, SOOOOO not for us, I'm not even going to make one phone call to find out what these people are about"?

Or do you look at it and say, "Oh, cute, a little kitchy, whatever, I know the principal, I'll call her!"?

To me? It weeds out those families who are not like us. Who feel threatened or insecure if a list of names is written a little bit differently.
To paraphrase my sister The Eitza Lady, "I don't think Hashem, who orchestrates all shidduchim, will allow a potential shidduch to pass by because of the way you wrote a list of names. "

Hashem doesn't have a hidden agenda, and neither do we. We just want a boy (or a mother) who will look at this resume, squeal with delight and say, "How cute, a little different, the girl must have personality, I love it!"

Which by the way, I think WAS a deciding factor in DIP1 and DIP2's shidduchim. My sons-in-laws' mothers loved their resume.

2 comments:

"I don't think Hashem, who orchestrates all shidduchim, will allow a potential shidduch to pass by because of the way you wrote a list of names."

I don't think Hashem, who orchestrates all shidduchim, will allow a bashert not come to be because how any piece of paper represents one. Written typically, written badly, written creatively, in the grand scheme of things, it matters not.

Exponentially better than reading the same 'resume' time and time again...though as a CPA with a masters degree - it still irks me that the frum community adopted and virtually abused an accepted professional form of displaying qualifications to try to make the research component and current form of a background check in shidduchim seem more time-honored and business-like.

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About Me

I will survive this and get them married. I will be patient with ridiculous rules. I will no longer have an opinion. I will remain sane, upbeat, positive. Hashem is directing all of this (okay, maybe not the rules).