Riverdale Recap - Season 3, Episode 2!

We laughed, we cried, we danced along! Read below for a recap of all the happenings in last week's episode of Riverdale!

***WARNING : SPOILERS AHEAD! ***

The episode starts out with Archie being processed at Juvie, while the other kids are starting a new semester at Riverdale high.

Cut to Archie back at juvie, where he meets his cell mate, Mad Dog- who has clearly been there for a while and seems like he may be getting special treatment. He has a lot more items than the other inmates have (including a record player, books and a TV!) Archie tries to introduce himself while Mad Dog continues his daily push-ups (muscles galore! ) and ignores Archie's presence. All Mad Dog utters is a warning for Archie to keep his shoe laces tight.

Veronica approaches the principal of Riverdale about taking over Archie's presidency, and she is informed that someone else has already taken the role. That someone is Cheryl, and Josie compares Cheryl to Lindon B. Johnson. Good one, Josie!

One of our favorite lines of the episode is slung by Cheryl after Veronica refuses to serve her at Pop's, due to the presidency debacle:

"You can’t just refuse to serve someone for being better looking than you." Classic Cheryl moment!

Back at Juvie, Archie approaches the Serpents to show them his new tat. Turns out, Joaquin is there too (Oh hello again, Joaquin!). He tells Archie that he can't be under the Serpent's protection just because he has a tattoo, and that he has to earn it. He orders Archie to "shiv" a goonie, and Archie swiftly declines. Compliments about his shoes are shouted by random inmates as Archie walks away, and ultimately the Goonies steal his shoes and rough him up quite a bit.

Ronnie brings Reggie (We're wondering why not Jug or Betty?) to visit Archie and bring him a brand new pair of sneaks. Archie then gets the idea to gather the inmates together for some good, old fashioned football to show the warden and guards that they are still regular kids. Mad Dog backs Archie up about the football game, and the inmates all agree to play.

Ronnie and the cheerleaders randomly show up during the game to perform an epic rendition of "Jail House Rock". I have to admit, it was a v cute moment when Archie spots his girl!

Hiram Lodge ruins the fun by showing up and letting Veronica know that he's friends with the warden (of course he is!) and that she is from now on banned from visiting the facility. Veronica says that he will never keep her and Archie apart (you go girl!).

The warden then releases a bunch of guards on the inmates and they proceed to beat them (so cringey!).When Archie returns to his cell, Mad Dog is gone and the warden claims that he was killed during the fights, which were due to Archie stirring up trouble by starting the game. We SO hope that this is a lie! :( We love you, Mad Dog!

Back at school, Betty is researching runes after seeing them on Dilton's dead body and is interrupted by a new (slightly creepy?) girl. Turns out this new chick is Evelyn, daughter of Edgar Evernever - daughter of the leader of the Farm (/cult) where Polly was staying - and she informs Betty that she was actually at Betty's house the night of her seizure.

Betty and Jughead are off to see Ben (still in a coma) in the hospital. Ben's mom is there too, and Betty notices a small wicker figure hanging from the door. Ben's mom let's them know it was Ethel who left the mysterious doll there. Betty & Jug approach Ethel and she lets them know that she and Dilton had been dating & had been hanging out all summer in Dilton's bunker (romantic!). Ethel tells them how to get to said-bunker & the couple sneaks out at night to go find it. While in the woods they are confronted with a Terrifying tall creature, who was a spitting image of Dilton's sketch of the "Gargoyle king".

YIKES!

Betty & Jug ultimately find the creepy bunker- and inside, an Adventure Scout troop that has been missing for 2 days! He was apparently Dilton's apprentice and he was waiting there for him. When Jughead confronts Ethel about their discoveries, she quickly starts having a seizure of her own, as the new girl friend Evelyn looks on.

Shortly after, Archie has two unexpected visitors. The first is a blonde, mysterious woman - donning a headscarf and sunglasses indoors, who says her name is "Monica Posh". The second is the warden himself, who’s been so “impressed” by Archie's actions that he’s chosen him to serve as his “new Mad Dog.”

You'd think the episode would be complete then and there, however - there is MORE!

Cut to a scene where you see ALL of the Riverdale parents together in one room, talking about a horrible "Secret" they have shared since High School. They alluded to it having to do with the "blue lips" on the recent victims.

Back at the hospital, Betty and Jughead find Ben finally awake and perched suspiciously on a windowsill. He smiles at them and says, “I’m going to be with Dilton now. We both flipped the coin. He was scared to ascend, but I’m not … It’s all part of his plan”