A suicide attack on a train station in Russia’s southern city of Volgograd has killed no-one important apart from 16 people who were not British citizens, according to newspaper and television reports in the UK.

Initial claims that one of the victims might have visited Britain on holiday 3 years ago were discounted by the Foreign Office who said they were happy to confirm that nobody with any connection at all to the UK was involved in the blast.

The good news comes after initial reports cited Syrian government sources claiming some of the civilian victims of the fighting in Damascus may have been able to speak English – albeit with strong foreign accents.

However UK government sources dismissed the reports as Assad regime propaganda saying all of the known victims were either middle-eastern looking or Muslim with none of them officially identified as white.

Oh, I think we get the irrelevance of certain sections of society, a bit like our press reporting on those that were not paid their benefits before xmas due to supposed dwp error – It was ONLY 32,000 that were affected the press reported.