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What can I do if my toddler prefers me to her father?

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My toddler has developed a strong preference for me over her father. 'Mommy do it!' is her favorite phrase these days. When Daddy makes simple requests of her (even in his normal voice) she runs into my arms crying. If I make the same request, there are no tears and she willingly complies. It's really starting to get to my husband. I don't know what to tell him or how to help her get past this phase. Any advice?

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My daughter is the same way with my husband. I am the primary caregiver (I am a full time student and my husband works 2 full time jobs) My daughter would not accept any assistance from my husband. In the begining I thought that it was her form of adjusting (he is her step dad and we married when she was 14 mos.) But now my husband and I have been married 1.5 years and he is the only dad that she knows. This has really been hurtful to my husband because he doesn't feel the love. I have talked with my husband many times about this, and we were making progress where he was recognizing how his behavior towards her affected her behavior towards him and he was spending quality time alone with her and they were really bonding... Then my son was born, we moved and I became a stay at home mom full time, and my husband worked a 60 hour a week job, with 12 hours a week in travel. Then we moved again, and I think that with all the adjusting that we have all done there has been a loss in the family connection and structure. Anyway, what I am trying to get at is that my husband had to realize that his behavior towards my daughter affected her behavior towards him. That was the first step in the improvement. My husband is very consistant with his expectations and discipline, where I am consistently flexible. That difference makes a huge impact on a child. Another thing is when stay at home moms get to spend all day long with our children, we get to see everything the good, the bad, the ugly, and the hilarious. When my husband comes home it is dinner time, the kids are tired, I am tired and we are all a little cranky. If that is all he gets to see of my daughter that is all he thinks her personality consists of, it has an impact on how he feels about her.
I think that having an open dialogue between parents and definatly giving oppertunity for bonding and one-on-one is the key. My husband and I also devising times when my daughter has to depend on him to meet her basic needs, and she realizes that he can do things for her.

We are having the same problem. My 3 year old daughter prefers Mommy all the time. Everything is "Mommy do". When my husband picks her up from daycare or school, she immediately loses it and cries for me. I swear, some well meaning person will witness this and think he is trying to abduct her. It is THAT bad! However, when they are alone, they are fine! She ven asks for him when he is working. I don't know if its the combination of transitioning AND preferring Mommy at the end of the day that sets her off. He was away for 1 year in Iraq (he left right before she turned 2) but has been back for over a year. Could she still be resenting him leaving? I thougth it was a phase because it seemed to get better a few months ago, but now it's worse than ever. My husband is so upset and disheartened by all of this. He was a stay at home dad until she was 18 months old, they had such a bond. It breaks our hearts to see her react like this to him now.

As a father, I have struggled with this issue over the past few years. My 3.5 year old daughter has strong preferences for my wife in certain routines like putting to bed, which she will not let me do unless her mama is away for the night. I understand how important routines are for kids this age, but it has hurt many times as I felt rejected.
Now I usually don't take it personally. I am lucky to have my routines with her: I bath her each night I am home early enough; I get her every morning from her bed and spend 10 minutes talking with her; and I take her to fun and various parks around Los Angeles almost every other weekend. Most tasks and activities can be done by either myself or my wife, fortunately.

My 2-year-old son has favortism for his Dad over his Mom...lolol...it is simply fine with me!! He has two older brothers who keep him very busy so when he gets in his little ways (Baby con artist is what he is--lol!), I simply step back and let Dad take charge to the best of his ability and I get some extra rest while I can!! Hey, every veteran Mom knows that it is a non-stop ordeal raising feisty toddlers and I ain't mad at you!!

We are dealing with a similar problem with our 3yr old daughter. She only wants mommy. She is an only child and I am a stay at home mom. When daddy tries to play with her, put her to bed, or whatever she tells him "go away" or "I don't like you". This happens at least once a day (either in the morning before he leaves for work or at night when he gets home). When he's not around she talks about him asking where daddy is or "I want daddy to come home". It's very hurtful for my husband, he doesn't understand why she says the things she does. When this first started we ignored it and it didn't go away, we tried to punish her (timeouts, telling her not to say such mean things) and no change. I have come to the conclusion that we shouldn't take away allowing her to have her own "feelings". I am at a loss on how to deal with this! When I have tried to talk to her and ask her why she feels that way about daddy she says she doesn't know. Any tips or advice?

My first seemed like he didn't want anything to do with Daddy until he got a little older like around 3. My second wants whoever's the busiest doing something that doesn't involve him. I think we mother's sometimes sabotage ourselves with the first one because we want to do it all and have a hard time letting go, but they get over it when their older.

thanks TM, that is exactly how it is at my house, except i am a working mom. I thought it was her acting out at him , b/c she wants me at home. But they have one day together a week and have a great time. It is only when we are both around, and i must do it all. He takes her to the sitter in the AM and it is very hard on him. If i do it, she is generally sweet and happy. He gets a grumpy and sometimes hateful girl. I talk to her about it a lot and says she doesn't like boys. BUT she loves the boys she plays with. I know it is a stage, but it is hard on both of us too. I think splitting the time spent and nighttime activities will be our first step. I thought morning would work, but it has not yet. He is such a loving father, so i can't figure out these emotions. i do know NOT to punish her for them, or it would start a connection b/n dad and getting in trouble. I would like other advice here too. seems we all have the same issue, but not a lot of answers :)

My 2.5 year old daughter screams and runs away from her dad at night, refusing to give him a hug and kiss goodnight. If he tries to do something for her, it's "no!!!!! Mommy do it!!!!" He can't kiss her boo-boos when she gets hurt either. He is really struggling with this, and is very hurt. Suggestions?

My 2 year old son thinks that his Pawpaw (my dad) has to do everything for him. We live next door to my parents so he gets to see them everyday.Last night he wanted some juice. He said "Pawpaw, ont juice peas" my dad was on the phone so I got up to get his juice for him. My son literally had a temper tantrum (which he is good at here lately and has been getting time out for) because I and not his Pawpaw was getting his juice for him! When it comes to me or my husband, I would have to say that our son would rather have me.

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