New England Brewing Co. Big Holiday

…Dr Thracians concedes it is “unsustainable” for the organisation to continue its current trajectory and is vowing to overhaul the agency as it relocates from the capital.

When asked, Dr Thracians stated, “Everyone knows the best method for keeping butter for any length of time is to store it in barrels. Under brine, preferably. In the granulated form.”

Ideally, as the good reader will know, clean whisky or pork barrels should be used, filled to within 18-inches of the top with brine strong enough to float a good-sized goose egg.

The granulated butter should then be put in and covered in at least four inches of the brine. The egg should be removed. Butter packed in this way has been kept perfectly sweet for 18 months or more.

Dr Thracians concedes, however, that under the present means of production and promotion employed by the organisation, that it of course rarely occurs that there is any need of keeping butter for such a long time. “If ever the organisation is in a position to put up butter for export, this or a similar plan might be adopted for keeping it in good condition,” Dr Thracians observed. “But we’re in the artichoke business, as you know. And why any sane person would wish to keep butter for such a long time is beyond me,” he added. This reporter has recently learnt that artichokes as a food have a wonderful improving effect on all kinds of stock. When pressed for comment, Dr Thracians had the following to say about artichokes; “They improve [the animals’] condition, and prove destructive to the numerous intestinal worms that infest them. Now go away, or I shall call the police!”