Honestly, just go out and buy one from a shop – they’re like $5. The Vietnamese people have got this: we don’t need to appropriate this dish. Besides, you’re never going to use up all the leftover cha lua and thit nguoi. Put the Vietnamese small goods down, white lady – you’re done here.

FOOTNOTES

[1] If you’re making this for someone with a gluten intolerance or allergy, just substitute the bread for a china plate.

[2] If you’re making this for someone who has a problem with eating offal, just substitute the paté for baby formula.

[3] If you’re making this for a friend who can’t tolerate chilli, just swap them out for another person.