the beautiful mess called life & parenting

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It’s easy to look at other women/families/marriages and judge. But we never really know the ‘fight’ of someones daily struggles until we are invited inside their world. Invited to the sacred space of their story, their pain, and their dreams.

Today I wanted to share with you a very personal story that I do not share often.

The death of my son’s father.
The man who helped me understand my purpose.

(To respect privacy and the sacred grieving process that still exists I will share what feels comfortable to me today, but know there is always more to everyone’s story… some we are never fully aware of. It’s part of the journey. The conscious revealing of who we truly are.

Today this story is not met with anger or sadness but rather gratitude for the gift, the opportunity to share my journey with others who want to find freedom in all aspects of their life.

So here we go…
(Note: The story started 11 years ago and his passing took place almost 3 years ago).

I came into the motherhood experience solo.
I didn’t have a partner.
It was the healthiest choice for all and one I do not regret.

My son’s biological father was not mentally well and after I found out I was pregnant things progressed rather quickly and he grew ill.

My son always knew he had a father but they never met.
We shared pictures. We talked openly about who he ‘believed’ he was or could have been.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want them to meet. It was that I was terrified of what would happen if they did meet. The consistency wasn’t there and I didn’t want to confuse my son.

I consulted everyone on this topic – professionally, personally, spirit guides, you name it.

It always came down to two things.

My gut and what was best for my son in his developmental age.

He asked once in a while about him and we talked. He asked where he was and I told him.
He didn’t have much interest until one day…

The day after I found out he passed. This was almost 3 years ago.

I got the call. He has passed peacefully in his sleep. He lost his battle with addiction.

And now it was my turn to pass the torch, to keep his legacy alive.
Not his addiction but his essence. Who he truly was.

How was I going to tell my son that the man he had never met, he would never meet?

All of a sudden there was a gap. A space.

Fear. Anger. Resentment. Blame.
My son blamed me. I didn’t blame him.

But it wasn’t my anger to hold. It was his and I couldn’t rob him of his experience.
I had to give him space to express his emotions fully.
To expand his frustration without being emotionally triggered by his anger and sadness.

That’s not easy to do.

I had to openly talk about the man who hurt me, but also openly talk about the man who gave me the greatest gift. I had to forgive.

That was vulnerable.
That was uncomfortable.
I’m so grateful I had this opportunity.

It was in this moment of vulnerability that I found the connection I was seeking with my son.

It wasn’t in my words that gave my son comfort. It was in my presence.
The physical body being connected to my mental body – fully showing up in that moment, sadness, tears and all.

It wasn’t the ‘how -to’ guide I was looking for.
It was the real story. The raw truth of the situation.

I couldn’t get out of this one. I had to face it.

This life was no longer just about my grieving process. It was his. He lost something that I cannot give him. I can’t make up for it and I’m okay with that. This is his journey. I am a guide.

So why am I telling you this story? There’s always a lesson.

Parenting will challenge you to your core.Relationships will strengthen you BEYOND.
Your work in the world is what makes this life – good.
It’s all in how you show up daily…

YOU are the rock star.
YOU are the guide.
YOU are the guru.

Your children will show you where you can grow.
Your work will tell you what leaps you need to take.

Today I want to challenge you to show up to these beautiful messy lessons.
To feel the uncomfortable fully.

Your feelings will not kill you.Not feeling them – will.

The relationship you desire to create with your children is a process, not a weekend project.

The work you desire to create.
The impact.
Your business.
It’s a journey. Not a blueprint.
The money you dream of making.
The time to want to have.
The energy you desire to create.

This all comes when you are ready and willing to show up and take the right action.
Do the work. Create a plan. Get rid of fearful excuses. Stop suffering.

It’s about finding possibility.

To get you started I’m offering a FREE WEBINAR Thursday, May 28th at 10am EST called:From Surviving to Thriving: 4 Essentials To Skyrocket Your Success In Parenting and Business.

Warning: This call will NOT be recorded. I may offer an encore but not exactly sure the date and time. So if you can make it – let’s make it happen!.

On this call I will share…

How to take the leap in your business/career while taking really good care of yourself and your children’s needs.
How to decode your children’s behavior. What is it really telling you (knowing this will allow you to stop yelling and create a deeper connection in your relationships).
How to manifest what you really want in life – (knowing this is the best thing you can do for your children).
How to create more time and energy – so you can get a good night sleep and wake up excited to start the day.

I hope you will make your vision a priority, the life you want is possible. Your story doesn’t have to be the end… it can be rewritten. It is suppose to be messy. Mine sure is.

Heather Chauvin is a mental health and self-esteem advocate who has made it her mission to enhance the lives of women and children through conscious living. Heather has a Bachelor of Social Worker Degree and wide variety of continuing education certification in the mental health and holistic sector. Heather also carries a decade of experience working with many diverse populations locally and abroad. Heather leads dynamic training programs that teach both adults and children to succeed in life and accomplish anything they put their minds to. Her unique life experience and professional trainings gives Heather a one-of-a kind approach to personal growth and development.

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