No, that is not my visitor parked illegally and thereby blocking "your" parking space in the street where there are no allocated spaces, even if you've "parked there every day for the last 11 years". That should be pretty obvious given I was clearly about to leave my house all by myself. What a lovely way to greet your new neighbour, by practically shouting at me and terrifying my baby daughter.

I apologise for rather snidely offering to park for you and for pointing out that parallel parking is a matter of practise, after discovering there is indeed ample space for your very small car between the green car and the other car you've quite correctly identified as ours. I also apologise for not offering to give up my own space, which was marginally closer to your house than the space you had to park in (all the way across the road from your house, I know).

Looking forward to having lots of indecent contact with my husband on the sofa with our blinds open to rub in the fact that you are a single, miserable spinster with cats.

Thank you for brightening up my day, person whose name I still don't know.

Bahahaaa... Scotrail, I shouldn't laugh, but that kind of made my day! (before you think I'm completely mental, I too have weirdly unreasonable neighbours and I can easily picture myself having that exact exchange... )

We supposedly have a rat problem out the back - you and your husband have even arranged some of the pest control, so stop leaving chunks of half mouldy bread out the back for the birds. a) YOU ARE FEEDING THE RATS b) its not good for the birds c)its disgusting , makes the paving all slimy where my son plays.

DP - thankyou for taking the morning off to take Squeak to the Dr so I can keep my hair appt (she was supposed to be having a settle session at nursery this morning), but I'm now left wishing I'd just taken her myself!"Dr's given her antibiotics and a contraption to take a urine sample". Me: so what are the antibiotics for? Does she think it's a urine infection??? "I don't know. A slight chest infection maybe? I've no idea really!" How can you not ask why your baby is being given antibiotics?!

Hmmm, the above conversation was had on the phone whilst I was still in the hairdressers. When I got back, I insisted on driving him into work, so I was able to quiz him more.

Apparently the Dr doesn't know what it is. She's v listless and snotty, temp of 40.4 (calpol brought it down to 39.2), and vomiting. She was sick through the night on Sunday, then miserable all day yesterday but kept milk & food down, but then sick again overnight last night. She's had some water today, but no solids and isn't interested in BFing.Her ears are clear, but her chest sounds mucous-y and her breathing is laboured, so it might be a chest infection. The urine sample was an afterthought - Dr called him back as he was heading out the door and gave him the bag-thing to put inside her nappy.I'm not keen on the idea of her having ABs 'just in case', but it's horrible seeing her like this, so we'll give her them and hope there's an improvement.

Steeler, sounds exactly like Risky was last week - she coudn't keep anything down, was very listless and running a temp. The doc we saw checked out her ears (clear) and listened to her chest - he could hear a rattle there, which he said surprised him (he wasn't expecting anythign there) so he prescribed antibiotics. He couldn't tell me exactly what was wrong so we never got a diagnosis as such. But the ab's did work - I wasn't totally happy about her having them without a full diagnosis, but as it's only the second time she's had them I went ahead and I'm glad I did. I hope squeak gets better soon.

Dear neighbour, I like you and it's great that there are other kids in the street for my son to play with. But please stop encouraging my baby-loving child to "ask Mummy and Daddy if you can have a baby brother or sister". I know you aren't doing it on purpose, but you're causing disappointment for everyone.