Dateline: Brazil--A seriously wayward penguin washed up
on a beach in sunny Rio de Janeiro recently and soon found himself
adopted as a mascot by rabid soccer fans. For some reason, surprised
beachgoers who spotted the penguin drifting in the sea off of
Brazil's capital took the confused bird as a sign of good luck
for their national soccer team in the World Cup. The penguin was
quickly draped in a green and yellow Brazilian flag and nicknamed
Penta, meaning fifth, for the fifth World Cup title the reigning
champions are hoping to win in France. The bird posed for TV cameras
during publicity parties after Brazil's 3-0 victory over Morocco
last Tuesday. After his long day of partying, the penguin was
stuffed into a beer cooler to await zoo officials. Penguins appear
occasionally along the coast of Brazil, but are rare this time
of year.

Dateline: Canada--Prosecutors last Wednesday dismissed
claims that a female juror's affair with a murder defendant was
not a crime because she had never been warned against having one.
Gillian Guess, 43, is charged with obstruction of justice after
having a sexual affair with defendant Peter Gill during his 1995
trial on murder charges in a gangland killing. Prosecutors claim
that Gill used Guess and her position on the jury to help him
and five co-defendants win acquittal. Guess' attorney, Peter Richie,
argued that no crime was committed because the judge had never
specifically ordered the jury members not to sleep with Gill.
Richie suggested that his client was the victim of vengeful authorities,
angry at having lost a high-profile case against Gill. Authorities
have appealed the "not guilty" verdict of Gill's 1995
murder trial.

Dateline: Russia--Mad Scientist Alert! Russian officials
have announced that Mir cosmonauts are planning to deploy and
test a solar-reflecting satellite, capable of beaming a little
extra sunshine into Russia's wintry
northern climates. Designed by a group of public and private Russian
space agencies known as the Space Regatta Consortium, the 82-foot,
disc-shaped orbiter will be as illuminating in the nighttime sky
as 10 full moons. By fall, lucky moonbathers in select cities
throughout the Northern Hemisphere will be able to bask in the
shining satellite's eight-mile-wide spotlight. If tests go well,
the consortium plans to deploy an entire ring of orbiting reflectors.
... Stage two, in which the Consortium threatens to melt the polar
ice caps if their billion dollar ransom is not met, is expected
to be announced soon.

Dateline: South Dakota--The town of Bushnell, S.D., lost
one of its most beloved (and unsanitary) landmarks recently. Last
month, during the May meeting of the Bushnell Town Board, several
townspeople raised concerns about the outhouse at Steve Kjellson's
Bushnell Garage Bar. For years, boozed-up patrons have stumbled
out back to the tin-sided lean-to and happily unloaded their evening's
beer supply on a cabbage-sized red sandstone rock. According to
Kjellson, urinating on the rock has become "kind of a ritual."
The Bushnell Garage Bar does have full male and female restrooms
inside the bar, but patrons apparently heckled any man who tried
to utilize the indoor plumbing. Despite the tradition dating back
some 40 years, enough of the Bushnell's 85 residents opposed the
use of the rock. Kjellson's liquor license has been held up pending
the removal of the outhouse. The bar owner has agreed to tear
down the outhouse, but will keep the rock for sentimental reasons.