253 working days in 2014 means 253 soulless morning commutes. There’s nothing we can do to make it better (other than giving you awesome things to read) but what we can do is let you in on a little secret: you’re not the only one asking yourself these very questions on the way to work every day:

1. Why hasn’t carrying a hold-luggage suitcase on the underground between the hours of 7am to 9am been made a criminal offence?

2. Is there a special beauty school that teaches women to apply make-up expertly on public transport?

3. Who the f*** decided to split the Northern line in two?

4. How long would this journey take me if I didn’t keep having to stop for tourists stepping into their map?

5. What would cause the most anxiety: getting caught in the doors and being carried through a tunnel, or my ex stepping into this carriage?

6. How can a McDonald’s breakfast taste so good but smell so rank?

Tastes awesome, smells rank. (Picture:Getty)

7. Why is everyone carrying around those £80 Longchamp bags when they could get the exact same bag free with this month’s Good Housekeeping?

8. Has that girl from work seen me yet? Yes? No? Oh Lord, whhyyyy?

9. Why can’t people comprehend the fact that aggressively jabbing at the open button doesn’t make the door open any quicker?