Saturday, October 07, 2006

Boo!

Scared you didn't I? I'll bet you weren't expecting another new post from me. Well, not only am I working like a hamster in a wheel trying to power the entire city of Houston, I'm now trying to replace all the wood in my house. I was going to try and find someone to do it for me, but everyone I've asked wanted $5000 or more. My neighbor said that he needed to do the same thing to his house and that he knows how to do it. So if I help him with his house, then he'll help me with mine. It'll probably cost us about $1000 in materials and a shit load of hours of work.

Onto some funny stuff. At work, I usually go through the schedule at the beginning of the day to get an idea of which patient was coming in at what time in order for me to plan out different treatment plans. The last patient of the day was a name I didn't recognize. He also wasn't listed as a new patient. Not only that, but the other doctor only wanted me to work on him. So, I asked the other doctor who this patient was and what he needed. An evil grin shot across her face as she started to chuckle. She turned to our massage therapist and told her that this particular patient was coming in. The massage therapist, Rebecca, rolled her eyes and also started to chuckle. (Side note: yeah, we have a massage therapist in our office because most of our patients are athletes who benefit greatly from it.)

As it turns out, this patient regularly gets massages whenever he comes in. When Rebecca does her job, she tells people to get undressed and get under the first sheet. This guy apparently likes to lie on top of the sheet completely commando. Rebecca told me that whenever she works on his hamstrings or gluteii, he gets an erection.

"So, you guys decided to give him to me......okay. This is going to be......interesting."

Everyone in the office started laughing. Dr. N told me that she worked on him once and made him gown up. He stripped but naked right in front of her before she got a chance to open the door and leave the room. He wasn't wearing any underwear. So for these reasons, I was to work on him.

His appointment time came and went. He didn't show up. Apparently, he was told before hand that a male doctor was going to work on him. Looks like this guy has been paying doctor's fees just to get a thrill. See ladies, it helps to have a guy around in an all female office.

About Me

I'm a crack-ho lazy mom who vacillates between feelings of inadequacy and delusions of grandeur. I am not bothered by kid snot, garlic breath or Bob Dylan's voice. But pinch me with your toes and I will probably kill you.