Most important note: I have often been asked if this site works as a dating tool. It truly does. I am married to PA43, whom I met on this site. We started as a poly couple, but we have decided on monogamy. This means I am NOT looking for a connection or penpals. If you want to talk about OKC and how it worked for me, that's fine. We're only keeping our profiles up because they are how we met and we like to review them from time to time. And no, Harry, I don't want your eight-inch Irish cock. I am MARRIED.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ IMPORTANT NOTE: I will no longer answer questions like "What did you do this summer?" "Have you been on any trips lately?" "How long have you lived in [insert name of town]?" "Do you do SCA? Is that why you dress like that?" The answers are in the profile. If it is too long for you to read, we aren't going to get along, anyway.

I always have a hard time summarizing myself. I am a liberal, gay-rights-supporting, NON-MONOGAMOUS, self-employed single mom. [Obviously, this has now changed. I'm now a liberal, gay-rights-supporting, MONOGAMOUS, self-employed mom and stepmom.]

Seems that too many too often believe that when I say "truth," I mean a sanitized version of it. If I say I want X, they tend to believe I only want it until Y comes along. So let me clear it up:

I travel full-time, so I am not a good prospect for long-term, monogamous relationships. I come, and then I go, and it's highly unlikely that you're going to change my mind about it. I don't suggest trying. [My husband didn't try. He just loved me as I am and everything happened.] I am a great believer in open relationships, truth, and full disclosure. I don't believe in games, manipulations, or lies. I know who I am and what I want, and I know what I can and cannot handle. Don't try to convince me otherwise or "protect" me from reality. Partial truths are just other forms of lies--trying to manipulate a situation.

I have learned that love can end badly, even while both parties still love, and even then, it's never a mistake to have loved. I have learned that the most important truth of all is the truth you tell yourself. And I learned that I have a temper. :) I have also learned that love lost isn't always lost forever and that relationships take many forms over the span of their existences.

What are open relationships? Some people think it's all about sex. Yes, sex is part of it, but it's more about connections and relationships. I have had good experiences and bad, but I'm pretty sure I know what I want. Now, there seems to be some confusion about what I'm looking for here. Even with my casual partners, I like to develop a friendship. Stranger sex is not what I'm searching for. If I happen to decide I want that, I know where to find it. Do us both a favor--if you're just looking for an easy lay, look elsewhere.

I've traveled alone, where I didn't speak the language, I can ride a horse, used to be pretty good with a bow, was addicted to paintball for a couple of years, can drive a forty-five-foot motorhome with my car trailing behind (always good for a laugh--little me climbing out of the cockpit), have lived in my car, in the ghetto, in a tent, and on the road. I've never had a real job. I can quilt, cook on an open fire, and just because I don't CHOOSE to do hard labor, it doesn't mean I've never gotten dirty. I'd love to learn to sail, go back to Asia, and become proficient in Thai and at least one other foreign language. Also, my truck is probably bigger than your truck. Mwuahahaha!

I am fun, smart, and playful

Addendum: I have been out of the dating world for a long time. I have been out of the straights dating world even longer. I commit the occasional faux paux. Within my community, certain things are so meaningless as to warrant barely a mention. In the outside world, the same things can apparently be a mortal insult. Just understand that we likely come from very different backgrounds, and that no insult is ever intended. If I am out with you, it is because I found something in you that I appreciate and want to explore, not because I want to hurt you. Also: I'll be driving my own truck on dates from now on. lol

What I’m doing with my life

Figuring out how to spend more time at home with my husband. Beyond that, mostly, I work. I'm a freelance editor, so I have a lot of time to myself. I can work anywhere I can haul my computer. I have two kids--teenagers now, which is kind of creepy. How and when did I get old enough to have teenagers? I work renaissance festivals full-time. This means that I travel from state to state, peddling my wares, living in fields, selling out of tents, wearing funny clothes, and being generally flirtatious in order to make a sale. I thought I could escape it, but I was foolish. Out-of-country travel is postponed for a while, sadly, since my show schedule leaves me very little downtime, but I'm making up for it by not living in one place for more than three months at a time (usually it's more like six weeks).

I’m really good at

I hate this section. Bragging on myself? Not my favorite thing. What I'm TOLD is that I'm good at making crazy quilts, connecting with people, being honest and trustworthy, trying new things, and cooking. I love to try new recipes. I love going to Thai and Laos markets and finding a strange new ingredient to use.

The first things people usually notice about me

My eyes. Very blue, I'm told. My friend Susan calls me her "flowers in springtime," mostly because I come into a room with a rush of brightness and energy. AT least, that is what I'm told.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Oh...books...I remember books. I used to read them before I had to read bad autobiographies and Christian hate books. I've loved classics and sci-fi. My one tattoo is based on a concept from a CJ Cherryh novel. My favorite authors right now are Tom Robbins, CJ Cherryh, Laurell Hamilton (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures), Dickens, McCaffery, Gaiman, CS Lewis, Adams, Auel...that should give you a reference point.

I have eclectic tastes in music, but my truest love is newfie. Most of you don't know what that is. Think Celtic-influenced sailing songs. It's all about the sea and ships and whales and drinking...I also love traditional Celtic music, ska, some Disney tunes, some country, some classical and opera...anything except rap. bleh. Eighties music. Grrrl power anthems. (hey, I'm a chick. What do you want from me?) Schooner Fare, Great Big Sea, Stan Rogers, Irish Rovers, Chris Ledoux...

I love foreign films and apocalypse movies. Amelie, The Postman, Under a Tuscan Sun (except the last minutes or so. Stupid ending.) Star Wars. Life is Beautiful. Superhero movies.

I learned everything I need to know about life from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have watched every episode of West Wing maybe a dozen times. Boston Legal. Firefly. Beauty and the Beast--with Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton. OH! The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I think I'm obsessed with Summer Glau. On review, anything from Joss Whedon or Aaron Sorkin.Hell...I'm an escapist.

As for food: oh god food. Sushi. Thai. Indian (rumali roti makes my heart sing). sauces and spices and anything that isn't bland and without texture.

I obsess. I admit it. I really do obsess about things. Life after a wedding, renting houses, changing life plans, love, money (those bills have to be paid somehow), sex, food, what House might do next week. My mind is a veritable maze of segues and shiny objects that never quite make it to... oh! nutella!

Put it down in writing? Where it can come back to haunt me? Silly OKCupid. But in person, I have a very porous filter. Thought enters brain, roils around in there for a while, and usually drops out the slot below my nose--also called a "mouth." As a companion, it makes me wildly unpredictable conversationally speaking, often unbearable, but comfortably non-secretive. If I've a thought--you know it. If I'm pissed--you know it. If I'm happy? Get the picture?

You should message me if

You are looking for an interesting, complicated girl. I do not promise sex. In fact, the odds are you won't get laid with me. It's not because I'm a prude--it's because my tolerance for most people is limited. I like you or I don't, and I get turned off pretty easily. I'm not desperate for affection and I don't have time for nonsense or lechery. To recap: Although I practice open relationships, I am a decent, quality person, and I only am interested in the same. Most people mistake my willingness to have casual partners as a willingness to meet up solely for the purpose of sex. No. If that is your purpose in messaging me, move along. I guarantee you're not going to like my reactions if you're thinking I'm going to fall into your lap just because you're bold, cute, gutsy, or clever.