Different
people like looking at different things. To some, nothing is more beautiful than
the sky when the sun goes down or a garden full of colorful flowers. Others will
actually walk for miles just to catch a glimpse of a bunch of water falling off
a cliff into another bunch of water. Well, that's all well and good for them,
but personally, my favorite thing to look at is a nice pair of female breasts.

I
don't know what it is about female breasts (also known as boobs, tits and knockers)
that makes them so great to look at, but I think it has something to do with the
way they stick out. I base this theory on the realization that the more they do
so, the more I enjoy looking at them. Also, I think the nipple adds a lot to the
overall viewing experience, because whenever I see a picture of a woman in which
this part of the breast is covered by some piece of clothing, I find myself wishing
that it wasn't.

That being said, I should note that I consider some breasts
more enjoyable than others to look at, while even others I take no pleasure in
looking at whatsoever. For instance, I find breasts belonging to younger, slender
women that are still large enough to jiggle a bit when they walk much more enjoyable
to look at than say, small breasts on skinny girls, overly large breasts on fat
women, or saggy breasts on old ladies (unless their owner happens to be skydiving
naked at the time like in this one hilarious video I saw on the web, but that's an entirely
different kind of enjoyment).

Yes sir, the only thing greater than looking
at female breasts is drinking beer and looking at female breasts; because, as
I've discovered, beer makes breasts look even better. I don't know how - it's
one of those mysteries of the universe probably best left unsolved. And not that
breasts can ever get really boring, especially when you're drinking beer, but
my favorite place to look at female breasts and drink beer is a place that also
shows televised sporting events, because I like to watch them and cheer, especially if one of the teams playing is from my home town.

Yeah, I can spend all day in a place like that, and I do - on a regular
basis down at this place called Felix's about a mile away from my apartment that caters to people with my precise combination of interests, which is pretty lucky. Now if they only served pizza I'd really be in heaven, because I think that stuff is really good.