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Facade - Making awkward conversation with virtual people

People have been trying to come up with dynamic conversations in games for a while. It sounds neat, but it's also hard, because really, it's hard to come up with a response for everything someone could say. Oblivion had it, sort of, with it's bizarre chatter between NPCs!

However, the best example of this is a game called Facade. It's billed as an 'Interactive Story', and it's something about a couple that you, the player are visiting and they have issues with each other. I guess there might be a way to make them make up, but I've never tried that. It's more fun to just annoy them until you get kicked out. Like so!

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Thu Sep 16 12 35 42 2010

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GEORGE
HEY

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GEORGE
HEY

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several -- -- (interrupted)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a -- (interrupted)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

GEORGE
GUESS WHO

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

GEORGE
MOTHERFUCKERS

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

(GEORGE knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
George!!

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)

GEORGE
Hi Trip!

TRIP
Ha ha, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.

GEORGE
I have a surprise

TRIP
So come on in! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in!

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GEORGE
Three guesses as to what it is

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
George,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)

GEORGE
you scared me

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door. -- (interrupted)

GRACE
So, George, I'm hoping -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

GEORGE
don't you want to guess

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
What? Oh, God, can we just -- let's just wait for the answering machine...!

PHONE
** RING **

GEORGE
okay I'm going to tell you

TRIP
Grace, no, I want --

GRACE
Trip, please dear, don't be rude.

GRACE
It's probably just the execs at work inviting you to another one of your precious 'high class poker games'. -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

(GEORGE picks up the phone.)

PHONE
Grace? Hello?

GRACE
George, no! Please don't do that.

PHONE
Who is this? Grace is that you?

GEORGE
fuck you

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

TRIP
Oh!

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up.

GEORGE
okay

GEORGE
i don't know how

TRIP
uh... ha heh heh...

GRACE
uh...

GEORGE
help me

TRIP
that's, um...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

TRIP
well...

GEORGE
help meeee

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

GRACE
ha ha...

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

GEORGE
okay fine

TRIP
Ha ha ha, George,

GRACE
heh heh heh...

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

GEORGE
the surprise is my dick

TRIP
(nervous coughing)

GRACE
uh...!

TRIP
god, I don't, um...

GEORGE
in your mouth

GRACE
uuh...!

GRACE
ha ha...

TRIP
that's, uh...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
ha ha...

GEORGE
it doesn't matter who

TRIP
ha ha ha!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, George,

GEORGE
you can share

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
heh, you had me going there for a sec...

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

GEORGE
no seriously!

TRIP
You're not afraid to say anything, are you?

TRIP
push our little buttons...

GEORGE
I am unzipping right now

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?

TRIP
ha ha...

GEORGE
take a look

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

GEORGE
get your face down there

TRIP
W -- wait, uh, uh -- we need drinks.

TRIP
So, what's your poison?

TRIP
How does a martini sound?

TRIP
It's what we drink at these high-class poker games I go to with the execs at work. -- (interrupted)

GEORGE
urine

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
George, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

GEORGE
aww

TRIP
You know what why I don't I just open a bottle of merlot and make it easy.

GEORGE
or urine!

GRACE
So anyway,

GRACE
Yes, sometimes a simple glass of wine is better than those fancy drinks you always insist on making.

So as you can see, this game is... weird. Also super awkward. But it's also free, and I'm interested to see what things you guys come up with in this! Feel free to post the stage plays or record the actual game or whatever.