It’s time to preview this Monday’s two-hour Bravo premiere of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hillsand Vanderpump Ruleswhich is once again sort of all blurred together. How exactly did Lisa work out that arrangement again? Anyway, this is a much rougher cut than the RHOA screener. No new intros and the old one still shows Adrienne and Taylor in there as a place holder. So sorry no tagline spoiling today!

Anyway, the storyline for the “two-hour cross-over event” is Kyle throwing a party for the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce to celebrate the 100th Birthday of Beverly Hills. Of course she hires SUR to cater it despite Lisa and Kyle being on the outs. And of course it is an all in party by Bravo that everyone must attend. The warring factions have not seen each other since the reunion. I love the interaction between the guy from the chamber and Kyle as he explains to her what the Chamber of Commerce is and welcomes her aboard. Fair warning, I am expecting to shift teams this season. I really like the new girl Joyce since watching Siberia, which was a fun a quirky little way to spend a few summer hours. And despite Kyle being such a whining victim last season, I am expecting better things from her this season. If Brandi and Lisa are going to have a falling out, as reports have indicated, I am going to have to take Lisa’s side unless they show me a really good reason to stick with Brandi. As for Joyce saying Brandi needs rehab, I really don’t see how Brandi can be offended when there were pictures of her falling down drunk all over the Internet during filming and she has not one but two books with drinking in the title for sale on Amazon. You drink a lot Brandi. Own it and move on. If I recall correctly Brandi said the same thing to Kim Richards on her first season of RHOBH. And well…she didn’t take it too well either but she did eventually make it to rehab.

I don’t think the ad used these shots much, but she has the Guess job. HUGE.

Gigi Hadid’s modeling career, is taking off. She seems like a hard worker. Yolanda very slightly mentions her Lyme disease and what a good friend Brandi was to her during time. And Kyle, was not. I am SO not happy that Yolanda is not going to be friends with Lisa this season. UGH. I do think she makes up with Kyle. I cannot stand when the factions shift and I have to pick sides all over again.

Brandi is fucking the real estate guy. Well at least in the show. On twitter she is apparently manless again. She has made enough money with the show and her book deals go buy a cute house of her own. Interesting she says she gave almost all of her old furniture to the maid. Isn’t that who she blamed for losing one of her dogs? Brandi did so much weird crap during filming that I doubt they will be able to show it all…the mysterious burned hand, the mysterious hospital trip that Lisa and Ken took her on…so many things. I’m looking forward to it all, but I am pretty sure I will not be as big of a supporter as I once was.

Lisa stops by to discuss catering with Kyle. I do not care for either of their dresses. Watch for Lisa’s dress with a fugly zipper in the back that looks unfinished or something. Of course she has her DWTS figure and looks amazing anyway. And Kyle’s dress has a pattern with a name that escapes me at the moment, and the stripes are misaligned in the back. #petpeeve Lisa tries to dissuade Kyle from using SUR over Villa Blanca, but Kyle is sure it will be fine. #FoolsRushIn Wow Lisa brings up the Mauricio rumors straight away. I’ve heard a few things to substantiate such rumors, my sources in Vegas seem to feel some kinda way about Mauricio’s visits there, but I shan’t go into detail because the legal fund is all but depleted these days. :) This is a crucial scene, so I won’t say anymore for now! #tension #TalkingHeadShade

Kim and her adorable but untrained dog have an adorable scene. She has even less control over her mutt as I do mine! Even worse, Kingsley is a chewer. Kim is in love with her dog. Kim looks better in the scenes than in the talking heads. I am wondering if the talking heads were done later, after one of her children had a terrible medical issue. I hope all is well with her.

It’s time for the party, and it’s GOOOOOOOD. #MyLipsAreSealed I will say this is where we all meet Carlton Gebbia as her husband is a member of the Chamber of Commerce. According to the Bravo PR insert, David Gebbia is a “business mogul.” and they have three small children. According to the Internet, she is Wiccan which will cause some drama. Bravo PR says Carlton has an accent like Lisa and a mouth like Brandi. Lisa is quick to point out their accents are different. Their kids names are Destiny, Mystery and Cross. This will be a point of contention for some. Yolanda is attending by Bravo requirement. Kyle and Yo have not made up. Yo and Lisa have not yet fallen out. This episode we essentially have the same factions as season three. Kim still likes Brandi in particular and the other side in more whatever kind of way.

Joyce Giraud de Ohoven and her husband, producer Micheal Ohoven arrive and Yo make first contact. Joyce is a former Miss Puerto Rico (actually a two-time winner I didn’t think you could re-enter a national pageant after winning) , very well-known in the Latina entertainment industry, a model with some work under her belt and more importantly, drop dead gorgeous with rivers of beautiful dark hair. #claws I believe she has a two-year old and a three-year old.

OMG we learn something about Lisa Vanderpump and where her nipples may or may not have been! This is really good. Best screener of the bunch so far. I am going to end it here for length and because it is also the official change over to the Vanderpump Rules premiere.

Also, as an aside, I LOVE LOVE LOVE all my new commenters. But please take note of a couple simple commenting rules. We do not refer to Bravolebrities by childish names here, (ex. Vyle for Kyle) please use their real names and do not post links. Also, if you determine this blog is not for you, we do not require a grand exit. Just leave if you are dissatisfied. Entrances fees are non-refundable.

P.S. As I venture through the iron gates of the Bravo PR site (why must I change my password every fucking five minutes?) I find this PR announcement for RHOBH.

“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” is back for season four and the leading ladies of the most famous ZIP code in the world embark on a journey with more ups and downs than a Hollywood script. From fun over-the-top parties and wild nights, to heart-wrenching trauma of personal loss, to epic catfights and conflict, the women usher in the 100th anniversary of the city of Beverly Hills with full vigor. From the palm-tree-lined streets of Beverly Hills, to a fateful group trip to Joyce’s homeland of Puerto Rico, the women prove, yet again, that luxury and serenity don’t’ always a match up. This season, the women welcome two new housewives, Carlton Gebbia and Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, both prominent in town. Carlton is a straight-talking Brit who sounds like Lisa, at least to Beverly Hills residents, and has a mouth like Brandi. Carlton is married to business mogul David Gebbia, with whom she has three small children. Joyce is a former Miss Puerto Rico, an actress and model married to film Producer Michael Ohoven. Joyce is also the founder of the “Queen of the Universe” pageant, but she hardly gives “pageant answers” when challenged by the ladies, sparking and responding to several controversies right off the bat.

This ain’t gonna last.

This season, Kyle Richards and her family seem to have the perfect life, but a tabloid scandal has the family staunchly denying any issues and leaves them questioning their real friends in a town known for opportunistic relationships and malicious gossip. Yolanda Foster overcomes Lyme disease, becomes a U.S. citizen and proudly watches her husband David get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Brandi Glanville is fresh off a bestselling book tour and moving into a shiny new home, but issues with her father put a damper on her newfound success and leave her struggling and celebrating in equal measure. Lisa Vanderpump begins the season basking in her appearance as a contestant on “Dancing with the Stars” and the imminent opening of her newest hotspot, “Pump.” However, her cherished relationships with close friends head down the path to being irretrievably altered. Kim Richards is one year removed from regaining her sobriety and is in a perpetual state of transition. The departure of her youngest daughter leaves a void which Kim fills with her beloved “replacement child,” a pit bull named Kingsley.

Kim and Kingsley is going to be so endearing! I’m so rooting for Kim a true Disney star icon. I have a feeling I’m going to b educated in Wicca, love to expand new knowledge. TT, why did Marisa always call Mauricio “Maurice”? I’ve always thought he was way too flirty with Camille in the pool at her house. I cld of swore he had a woody ogling her in a bikini! Winter shows are about to begin, pls don’t leave us TT. We need your talent

In light of your post on RHOA…… Is this how white women want to be portrayed? I can’t recall not even one season that shows one of the RHOA with a drnking problem like Brandi or a drug problem like Kim Richards……….how very hypocrtical

ITA!! Nor can I recall any vulgar pictures of ANY of the cast members of RHOA falling down drunk with their tampon string blowing in the wind (Brandi). Yes the RHOA are loud sometimes but I see strong, beautiful women of color of whom the majority (Kandi, Phaedra and Nene) have used this platform to further viable business ventures). This is a job and like RHOBH it is scripted. If RHOA makes you embarrassed to be black, don’t blog about them. This is my first time responding on this site. I look for sites that are impervious to color and just recap the shows/people.

I was responding to the words used in the RHOA Marathon recap in which it states “Is this how BLACK women want to be portrayed”. You need to read it. I took exception to the words coonery and buffoonery. COON is a racial term used to describe people of the black race. Very derogatory, IMHO

I was responding to Misscologirl. Please read the RHOA Marathon recap. It has some words that could be offensive to some people (including myself).. I do not believe Miss Tamara wrote that recap…it has initials at the bottom..Thanks!!

I kinda like my sharpie mix. He housetrained ME. lol. first dog. I didn’t know what sitting by the door meant. Yes I am that stupid, thanks for asking. I was told he was not house trained when he rescued me. He will piss all over PetSmart if you take him though (embarrassing) Thankfully, he is not a chewer, but if you leave a subway sandwich on the sofa, he will eat the whole damn thing while you are instructing the lawn guys for like TWO MINUTES.