We were supposed to have in ISP (Individual Service Plan) meeting and I was supposed to be given more information (DHR's general policy is to treat me like a mushroom –—keep me in the dark, feed me shit), and I thought we would actually get the ball going on us becoming Shelby's permanent guardians, and getting DHR out of our lives. So I don't have to ask permission of the court every time I take Shelby out of state, or vaccinate cats that had never been vaccinated before, because they never leave the house, etc. But no, more talk talk talk, and we have to go before a judge (something they told me last week we'd avoid by going guardianship instead of custody), and this and that.

Makes me want to strangle people. Except that the actual people we talk to are nice, well-intentioned people (or at least are good enough at faking it that you can't actually call them on stuff). It's the system. They're in the dark often too (or do a very good job of pretending that anyway).

Anyway, again, to all of you good people who want the government to tax me so that they can take care of those in need, I dare you to just spend the afternoon in a DHR (or CFS, or whatever your area calls the food stamp/take your children away agency) and take a look at how well our government is doing that, and ask yourself, are these really the people we want to trust our most vulnerable citizens to?

Oh yes, absolutely. The way to let a foster parent know that her child has been taken off medicaid is to wait until said child needs meds, and leave the telling to Walgreen's. And then have to scramble around to come up with some alternative besides making the foster parent pay the $600 and wait the usual 3 months for reimbursement.

One more example of how well our government handles all those tax dollars we're donating to take care of the less fortunate

I am glad to give to the organizations who do it right, Who run their organizations efficiently, who really do care about their clients, who are actually there, 24/7. Who are made up of real people willing (and who have the authority) to take responsibility and make decisions, on the spot if necessary.

The Catholic Church and Catholic Charities

Other local churches with food pantries, thrift stores that also give clothing to those in need, and tutoring ministries.

The Red Cross (which not only gets my money, but blood from everyone in the family too)

The Salvation Army (these folks are practically first responders in big disasters)

St. Jude's Hospital (check out< http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=LoveCuresCancer&view=videos> which has videos of a few young celebrities, including our own lovely Kyle Schmid, speaking for fund raising for St. Jude)

Those are my biggies right now, and I give generously, as I urge each of you to do, to your abilities.

But I resent every dollar I give to our fat, lazy, debt-ridden, corrupt, inefficient, rude and just plain stupid government 'programs'.

So anyway, I got a harsh reminder of what it's like being on the desperate end of the socio-economic end of the scale. How it feels to have nobodies at a government agency trample on you just because they can. To be told "No" and "wait over there" because that's all that government worker has the power to tell you, to sit in a very questionably clean lobby on wobbly plastic chairs, because you're obviously not important enough to even sweep for, much less use a clean mop for. And what really scared me is that I fell right into my designated place. The oppresive atmosphere just convinces you that there's no hope, that you truly are at least unimportant, if not downright sub-human.

And now I feel even more strongly that the government IS NOT NOT NOT who should be trusted to help the poor. Everyone who wants the government to distribute their tax dollars to benefit the poor should be forced to sit for an afternoon in a waiting room at DHR, and see exactly how well the government does that.

Just so everyone knows, I have now officially lost it. It is now 37.5 hours until the baby graduates. He's cool as a cucumber. I, and the other mothers who are creating this graduation ceremony are are are frantic or more! I haven't' really recovered from last week's big ASA teacher appreciation dinner. And my mother has offered Thomas a better job than she was going to give him (more $$), but she wants him to start Monday. I could use a week off before I have to go to Paris, TN and get Thomas settled into a new job, and oh, btw, while I'm there, she's hired a new part-time bookkeeper, and is training the front office girl to do some of billing, and needs me to run the front office while they're training her. (I don't get paid, btw. But I own stock, and it's better tax-wise if I put in enough hours every year to have "materially participated," so I go.)

Today's been one of those frustrating days where I had a list of 200 things I needed to do, and I actually got 100 things done, but almost none of them were also on the 200 list. Sigh.

I mean, it was still a productive day, just not necessarily in a manner I would have chosen.

And T went to school by himself today. I told him last night that I was through with Calculus, that he was now going on his own. And he was okay. Then he got there, and there was a test that he thought was Thursday, and he did the worst he's ever done on a test, 85, and he was STILL okay. These are giant steps for my Aspie.

And I finally wrote a long email to the clarinet lady, telling her how I felt, in a calm and polite and non-hostile, but still firm and clear way. This was about the 5th version. I was rehearsing it as a speech, until I realized I was getting too much pleasure out of the thought of embarrassing her. Plus, I don't care to hear her defense. So I did it the written way.

And I'm still avoiding the taxes. I know I'll have to pay, and i don't think our rebate will be as much as the paying, so I'm in no real hurry. I just got my K-1 form from L.I. Smith & Assoc. today. I own about 1% in my folks' surveying & engineering company, which is an S - corporation. No, I do not know exactly what the S is for. For years it was great, because, after everyone's salary and equipment, and all that, it lost money. But in the last few years it's actually made money, and I haven't been able to use it as a write off. In fact, last year it added about $200 to my tax bill.

Today I finally got my taxes filed. It's not all my fault that they're late, and they are within the limit of the automatic extension. I own stock in a company that just got some important papers to me that I needed in order to be able to file. The company had filed an extension. Of course, this is a family(my family)owned company...

Today I finally got my taxes filed. It's not all my fault that they're late, and they are within the limit of the automatic extension. I own stock in a company that just got some important papers to me that I needed in order to be able to file. The company had filed an extension. Of course, this is a family(my family)owned company...

10:55 pm -

Death and taxes may be life's only certainties, but at least death doesn't get worse every time the Congress convenes. Jonathan Pond