My parents, Dear Gentle Reader(s), for reasons which I never questioned, when discussing…um…privates with my brothers and myself, referred to the penis as a monk.

How many times I heard some variation of “Wash your monk,” “Did you wash your monk?” “Be sure to…” is lost to the ages; but it was at least once a day until I was old enough, and trained well enough, not to have to be asked or reminded.

I’d never seen the Benedictine ad (which was designed as a recruiting tool—no pun intended—for the Order), but the answer to the question is “No.”