Charlotte is an eating consultant and life coach. She is a certified group leader and trainer by Seven Secrets of Slim People and facilitates workshops, gives presentations and has a practice of one-on-one coaching. She also teaches classes and lectures on the 7 Secrets of Slim People at organizations nationwide. Charlotte Smith specializes in assisting people who are serious about solving their weight issues permanently and offers advice and support here through this blog to any who seek it.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I am the mother of three and I have always had weight problems. My eldest daughter is a sophomore in college now and I can see that she is gaining weight. I try not to nag, or comment, but I just don’t want her to go through the same struggle that I have had my whole life.

Do you have any advice on how I can help my 19-year old stay slim?

Connie K.Charlotte, NC

Dear Connie,

My advice to you is to focus on your own eating issues. So many daughters (and sons) develop unhealthy relationships with food because of unwitting and well-meaning parents. And just like all parenting, a child will model the behavior of the people they look up to… you!

Your daughter is a sophomore in college—19. She is probably under a lot of stress; she is undoubtedly eating poorly and probably not getting good regular exercise. But she is on the doorstep of adulthood, and she is in college to learn the life skills she will need to be a successful productive member of society. This is the opportunity for her to learn about taking care of herself.

Moreover, nagging, even talking casually about a teen’s eating habits and weight by a parent will almost certainly cause friction between the two of you, and perhaps cause a bit of rebellion and the opposite of what you want.

So, work on your own food issues, your emotional eating, and your general health. Be a good example to your daughter, and let her deal with her weight and eating habits on her own. When and if she wants to come to you to discuss this will you, be supportive, open, and non-judgmental.

…and when you send her a care package, include some healthier snacks like pretzels and dried fruits, granola bars and nuts! If she is like most college students, they will eat whatever is available, so make it healthy!

Give me a call at 800.496.7710 and we can start to work through the reasons you have always struggled with your own weight. I suspect that if we are able to address this, you will be better prepared to help your daughter when and if she asks, and at the very least you will be able to lead by example, and begin to lead a healthier life yourself.

All my best to you and your family. I look forward to speaking with you.

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsession