Turd In The Punchbowl: 1. A comparative phrase that adds a certain repugnance to describe an idea, remark or occurrence that fell flat, killed conversation, was socially unacceptable, or went over like the proverbial lead balloon.
2. Similarly, a gauche, socially inept or unwelcome person who has a stultifying effect on social gatherings, or, by extension, was involved in some futile or hugely unpopular effort.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I've Got Baggage

I hate the French, but how fabulous is the word "portmanteau"?!

I know there are several meanings, but I am just lovin on one in particular right now....

Will you please sit on my portmanteau so I can zip through the bulge in the middle where the body is bunched up?

Hey man, look alive - your portmanteau has already gone around for three dirt laps on the luggage carousel.

Aw fuck me running! - I am late for this flight, and the wheel just blew out on my portmanteau!

Luggage language is lovely my friends.

I saw this poem on another blog and am sharing it here........because it makes me want to work "portmanteau" into every sentence.

Portmanteau

It will clasp itself shut around the dark compartment we have stuffed with our splurges- I mean the shimmer, the silver, the slivers and trinkets. I mean, it will mantle the hollow core, cradle the cloaks and cyborg novels, the trash and slang and Sunday brunches over silent toast we've smushed inside and, I mean, all we'll have to do is lock it. All we'll have to do is lift it, chuck it, really, into the attic. You'll love it- it's humongous, ginormous, fantabulous- I'd guesstimate there's space for the unfinished bookcase, the sorry motel with its sign on the fritz, the unloved afghan, the unspoken insult, your dumbfounded mother, my collection of twizzle sticks, the hamster that died when we left for a fortnight, geometry, hassles, casseroles, and under the false bottom, a hidden slot for all of 1986. I mean, you'll barely know it's there- maybe at night a faint clang or chortle upstairs. But that's the past hinged shut, clamped tight beneath the attic eaves, spread like wings above our necessary dreams.

I Ain't Afraid Of No Turd

Need Your Hole Snaked?

The Turd

Hi there - welcome to my bowl! I am just a socially awkward turd with a lot of shit going through my tapered, sometimes corny head. This is one of my favorite places for me to relieve myself.
Thanks for stopping by.

A Turd Word

"Weinis" - a perfect mixture of the anatomically correct term penis added to weiner, the always snicker worthy slang term for one's male erectile organ of copulation. Use Weinis as often as possible. Thank you.