Well this is quite a different plot angle and I like where you're taking the story. It seems headed in good direction. I also like how you picked up on a Hufflepuff being like this, it is amusing. Good work there. Though I have to say, if she is sorted into Hufflepuff, you should show a little bit of her Hufflepuff qualities like Hard-Working, kind and helpful. Just include little somethings here so that it is realistic otherwise it will be too OOC.

Over all though, I like your writing. It was good and amusing. Good work!

8/10

Cheers!
AD

Author's Response: Thank you! Good point with the other Hufflepuff qualities, I'll make sure to include them in the further chapters. Thank you so much :)