Theory: iPhones Cause Exhibitionism

It's been a difficult week for Apple. First, the news that the manufacturing pace of iPhone components has slowed. Perhaps Samsung is finally making a dent in those sales? And now Dr. Somebodystein of Random University in Stockholm, Kentucky, has posited that the iPhone actually causes exhibitionism; more specifically the penis kind. At first it was thought mirrors were the cause. Or possibly eyes. But mounting evidence shows it is iPhones themselves.

Take for instance this regular everyday jock. As evidenced by his baseball cap and aggressively poufy hair, he would have had a fine career ahead of him as a the leading astrophysicist of his generation. But now that the iPhone has caused him to expose himself, he's stuck doing seasonal temporary inventory at Forever 21, answering to a power hungry assistant manager six months his junior.

According to the research, it's doubtful these pictures will be the end of his exhibitionism. At some point, he's likely to position his rear directly in view of the lens. And spread.