Poor people: why are they poor and dissolute? In this modern age of electrical light-bulbs, horseless carriages, and the inter-net, what excuse hath any man for being less than prosperous? Today, even those of modest means can possess a cell phone, a television, and a "Google" machine that possesses many times the knowledge of the fabled Library of Alexandria. Why haven't our nation's paupers taken advantage of these capabilities to catapult themselves into the upper class?

As access to devices has spread, children in poorer families are spending considerably more time than children from more well-off families using their television and gadgets to watch shows and videos, play games and connect on social networking sites, studies show.

Indeed, the NYT notes that "children and teenagers whose parents do not have a college degree spent 90 minutes more per day exposed to media than children from higher socioeconomic families." So while the educated elites ply their children with arts and crafts and shit like that (I guess, what other stuff is there to do?), the poors are wasting their time consuming the mental junk food pumped out by... websites such as this one. Or, I mean, more like Buzzfeed, probably. Trash.

If you are poor stop reading this blog post right now and make some papier-mâché and shit.