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Four score and seven days ago I brought forth on this internet a new website, HealthCare.gov, conceived in hubris, dedicated to incompetence and committed to the proposition that all men and women should have their insurance rated equally.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war against teaparty hostage takers, testing whether my website, or any website so conceived and so dedicated to incompetence, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of data security. We may soon come to dedicate a portion of my website, as a final resting place for those who believe I can remake 1/6th of the economy and that this nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that I should thusly prevaricate and seek political cover.

But, in a larger sense, we can not fix, we can not improve, we can not guarantee your personal data security. The code writers, living and dead, who struggled here, have been paid big bucks, far above our poor power to add or subtract. The world will little note, nor long remember what I usually say, but Americans can never forget when I said, “If you like your insurance, you can keep your insurance – Period!” as I did repeatedly.

It is for you, the winners of life’s lottery, rather, to be dedicated here to my unfinished work as I have promised to spend your money on behalf of they who fought to get me elected and who I have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for you to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before me—that being to guarantee my honored legacy as you take increased devotion to that cause for which you must give your last full measure of devotion—that I here highly resolve that these glitches shall not have been repaired by November 30th in vain—that this website, NOT under God, shall have a new birth of oppression—and that the progressive nanny state over the people, on top of the people, bedeviling the people, shall not perish from the earth.

It is received wisdom that intercepts by US Intelligence captured a vow by Al Qaeda to “change the face of history.” This resulted in US action to close embassies around the world as precaution. The presumption was another Embassy Attack was coming, possibly many embassies at once on Barack Obama’s birthday. Well, what if US Intelligence got it wrong. A shocking possibility, I know.

Imagine this scenario to see how incredibly wrong they might have been:

The act to change the face of history was a far bolder gambit than some run-of-the-mill embassy attacks. That’s so Benghazi 2012 for Pete’s sake. Instead, Al Qaeda’s bold act would be to employ chemical weapons in Syria. That is, Al Qaeda would take chemical weapons smuggled out of Libya and use them against Syrian civilians in a “false flag” operation.

The attack would transpire in such a very clever manner so the blame would be (naturally) pinned on Bashar Assad. Western indignation would mount against Assad as a pariah and a war criminal who would gas his own people. John Kerry would take the bait all hook, line and sinker. Hell, Kerry sees this as HIS moment to change the face of history, does he not?

Ask yourself this question: why would Assad gas civilians instead of gassing the rebels’ military forces or strong points? Why? Well, because he didn’t do it. Al Qaeda did it.

This frame job on Assad would force the hand of a reluctant Obama. Obama would have to enforce his “let me be clear” Red Line policy. As Al Qaeda chuckles and stands aside to watch the show, a cruise missile and air assault of key Assad assets and command centers would ensue.

Cue the escalation scenario:

Jihadis retaliate against US and western European countries and interests across the region and even across the world. Self-directed Sleeper Cells see this as the clear call to take action now. Hezbollah unleashes missiles and terrorist attacks across the border into Israel. Iran jumps into the fray even going so far as to attack Israel directly. Israel would retaliate in self-defense. A series of response and counter response actions would escalate the violence and expand the fight to greater and greater levels.

It wasn’t Bashar al-Assad who called Obama’s Red Line Bluff about WMDs. Nope, it was Ayman al Zawahiri. And somewhere right now he is smirking because he knows that with one simple chemical attack that he has changed the face of history forever.

If it’s not true at least it can make for a good screen play for Ben Affleck’s next movie…

The Mendoza Line is an expression in baseball to define the limits of futility. The term Mendoza Line derives from the name of shortstop player Mario Mendoza, whose batting average is taken to define the threshold of incompetent hitting.

Well, analogously, Anthony Weiner has now set the “Weiner Line” for Politicians because I think we have finally find the limit of misbehavior for our elected officials.

1. Bill Clinton did not set the limit with Monica Lewinsky

2. Marion Barry did not set the limit with his crack pipe escapades and other follies

3. Eliot Spitzer did not set the limit with the Adventures of Client #9

4. Mark Sanford did not set the limit with his Appalachian Trail Hiking in Argentina

5. David Vitter did not set the limit with his whoring around DC with hookers

But Anthony Weiner has finally set the outer standard on how far one can go. Or has he? I guess we will find out shortly…

The cutoff point of the Mendoza Line is most often said to be .200 batting average,and, when a position player’s batting average falls below that level, the player is said to be “below the Mendoza Line”. This is often thought of as the offensive threshold below which a player’s presence in Major League Baseball cannot be justified, regardless of his defensive abilities.

Somewhere in Hell, Al Davis awaits the arrival of the Doppelganger Dictator, Kim Jung Il. With both Al Davis and the Korean Despot dying in the same year it will bleak for future sales of ill-fitting satin workout suits and dark sunglasses.

Here’s my take on the fatal flaw of the Obama’s so-called Buffet Rule:

1. The Buffet Rule is designed to raise tax rates on the wealthy, but it would be better said as raise the tax rates on high income earners.

2. People with the highest incomes usually make most of their income as dividends or capital gains instead of as wages or salary.

3. So to be effective the Buffet Rule would have to raise the cut the government takes for dividends and capital gains.

I think there’s nothing controversial here so far but follow me now:

4. People with wealth often buy Tax Free Bonds so they can avoid paying taxes on the income they earn investing their capital.

5. Tax Free Bonds = State + Municipal Bonds. Not all, but usually state and municipal bonds are tax free. Many are triple tax free.

6. State + Municipal Bonds finance the construction of schools, roads, bridges, dams and other infrastructure.

That was easy. These days almost everybody wants more and better schools and infrastructure. Nothing controversial. Heck, the tall guy in the good looking suit has been stumping around the country about our need for more of this good stuff.

7. Here’s the rub: POTUS wants to build these things but POTUS also wants to raise the effective tax rates of those who buy the very bonds that finance most of these infrastructure projects.

8. So if implemented, the Buffet Rule would disincentivize people from investing their capital in the types of investments that fund infrastructure projects.

9. Load Rifles. Form Circle. Aim. Fire. Repeat Again as Necessary.

The pitch is easy to understand: millionaires shouldn’t pay a lower tax rate than the working middle class types who make America great. Check.

Like just about every “Genius” progressive idea, the devil is in the details. And the end results is often the opposite of that intended by the solons who conjured it.

Especially when it’s done in the name of “Fairness” to the middle class.

After seeing Charlie Rangel’s tour de force performance on the House floor today, TBS SuperStations offered the censured Congressman a contract almost immediately as The Lead in a TBS remake of “Sanford & Son” with Charlie reprising Red Foxx’s role as Fred Sanford, the crusty curmudgeon junk man.

“We think Charlie’s a natural,” said a TBS spokesman, “he’ll kick ass a Fred. I mean, can’t you just hear him saying, ‘Lamont, getcho hands off my junk!'”