(Life's too short for crappy sheets)

Karma, she's a beach. (Reply)

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So I had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon today. For those of you who haven't been following (or in case I haven't actually provided information) I've been having some chronic problems with my joints. I've seen my doctor. She's stumped. No markers for anything like rheumatoid arthritis or lupis or lyme or anything. She referred me to a rheumatologist. She had nuttin. (Which was good, it means no arthritis!) She referred me to a naturopath with whom I'll meeto tomorrow to talk about possible food sensitivities. She also referred me to a orthopedic surgeon, which told me she didn't have any more guesses, since an orthopedic surgeon usually cuts things, and if he cut everything that hurt I would look like I should be placed on ice in the window of a butchery.

Anyway

I had my appointment with him today.

It went sort of like this:

Him: Wow, you have a lot going on here. (Looking at my registration form.)

Me: Yep(1)

Him: Ok, let's start with what hurts the most.

Me: That would be my knees today.

A thorough exam ensued, including a lot of "does this hurt" (yep, it does) and "does this hurt" (ow, hell yes.)

Him: My diagnosis, and it could be wrong, because it's hard to tell from the outside, is that you have bilateral patellofemoral syndrome. Whatever you're doing now, you need to stop doing it. If it hurts, stop.(2)

Me: **blinky**

Him: I recommend one of two treatment plans. I can write you a note for physio and you can see how it goes, or we can be more aggressive and I can give you a cortisone injection, and if that helps it will eliminate a lot of what might be going on.

Me: Agress this bitch.

My cortisone shot is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.

I'd be more than happy to find out it's something like patellofemorawhatever. I just want somebody to tell me what it is and how to fix it. I'm too young to knit. Having said that, it doesn't explain the wrists and elbows and shoulders and ankles. Or where the inflammation is coming from. But if we end up dealing with each owie individually, fine. As long as I get to kneel deep enough to change a headsail before next season (or even the season after.)

(1)In actuality, what happened there was I said "Yep, there's a lot going on, and I'm sorry, but I think my doctor picked you because she ran out of ideas and I know you're probably not going to be able to help because you're a surgeon and surgeons usually cut things open to fix them, and I have a lot of things that would need cutting and I'm more than happy to sign something and move on and it's ok if you tell me you got nuttin because nobody else has anything either." To which he said "You talk too much and need to listen more" Then he proceeded to tell me let's start looking at the mechanics of the individual joints and see if we can do something that improves shit.

(2) In actuality, what happened here was he said I need to stop doing whatever I'm doing, to which I said I'm not doing ANYTHING because it hurts too much, to which he said I must be doing SOMETHING because people's knees don't look like this for no reason. He then asked me if I thought I was overweight. I am, and I told him I thought I was. And I also said I'd put weight on over the past year because I haven't been able to exercise. To which he pointed out that exercise was only 25% of it. I needed to stop eating. Really? Tell me something I don't know. And ouch.