Places like Gawker and The Smoking Gun are featuring an arrest report written by Myrtle Beach Police Officer William Heine. Gawker calls it the best of all time while Smoking Gun admires his "Haiku In Brilliant Minimalist Police Report".

The police report obtained by The Smoking Gun is just 16 words of, well, perfection, "Both share a baby daddy. They locked horns like bulls on the stairs to the Aquarius."