Dear Dress

I regret to inform you that I could not have possibly gained this much weight So your snobbish attitude can cease Your zipper should gracefully skate Up my back and rest on my spine If your manner continues I will be rather late This is not acceptable behavior considering the money I spent on you However, I continue to feel hate Toward one that holds such an aggressive disposition Please tell me if I'm asking too much from you It's a rather mere request for you to fill Just zip up and then I can go Are you aware my ride is waiting? I can hear the horn honking But don't be ridiculous I'm up here Pulling up your stupid zipper And giving exasperated looks When you decide to snap back down Causing my ride to honk My mom to yell And my patience to wither Even more than it already is I'll give you one more chance One final pull Or else there will be consequences for your behavior Thank you Finally some compromise Now I can finally leave Just for you To rip later