My never-ending journey in pursuit of God….

“I will give you rest”

I’m in a very busy season of my life. I’m in the middle of midterms and gearing up for finals in college. Work has been crazy busy, and the stress just keeps mounting. I’m wrapping up the edits to my book and gearing to start editing another. I wake up early every morning so I can work or get homework done for several hours before my job. I haven’t been to the gym in weeks because there’s no time. My social life doesn’t exist anymore and I think my friends have forgotten me. I know I could be doing so much better as a mom, a wife, a granddaughter, a daughter, a friend, a disciple….

My English class got out early last night, and I had an hour of gifted free time. And you know what? I didn’t know what to do with myself. I think I find comfort in the busyness. It’s almost like I need to be constantly doing to feel safe. And I don’t even need to be doing something constructive. I need to be reading, watching TV, scrolling through my phone, checking my email, writing, and so on. I can’t just sit and be silent for a moment.

I’m exhausted, and yet I can’t stop going.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I’ve been doing a lot of Bible reading lately. It’s how I start my day. Many morning I’ll even journal, reflecting on what I’ve read and working out a few issues, just like I’m doing now. This is all good, but without moments of silence throughout my day, I’ll never hear God speak to me. I’ll never hear his answer to the prayers I keep petitioning him with. Instead, I use pockets of time for social media, reading, listening to music… I avoid doing nothing almost as if I’m scared of it. Am I? And yet, God could just be waiting for the moment I finally STOP DOING and just be still. He could be waiting for me to come to him so he can give me rest.