Advice, 'coz you guys are cool.

Hey guys, I need a little bit of advice. Being one the "Kurds" (Kewl Nerds), I don't get out much. And as such, not many people know me/like me outside of the net. However, this girl, she is a great singer, is really beautiful, smart and funny, but is in the year younger to me.

She said she likes me, but doesn't want to ruin our relationship, and besides, we don't know each other very well. (Different primary schools, different social circles. Our main common interest is music, actually.)

So, is that like a "no'? Or a "wait a little bit"? I really don't want to f**k anything up.

P.S.: Apparently, I'm really smart. (According to her/my year group in general) If someone says I make them feel stupid/dumb, what the hell am I supposed to do? I don't flaunt my inestimable knowledge, but I like big words. Using small words will result in IM speech, which I will not do. I don't like making people I like feel bad, so how do I not do it?

P.P.S: I'm assuming that women are better at this sort of thing than men.

AngelBunnySovereign - Major

Posts : 573Join date : 2010-10-12Age : 27Location : Rwanda, Burundi

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Mon Nov 15, 2010 5:51 pm

Ask her what she likes about you ^^Then you will be getting more confidence in youself xDAnd ask Ashie (serenade) He will know better than me, he be really good at this xDGood luck

(ps... that girl seems a lot like me O.O ds)

_________________

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:43 pm

Well, girls are strange, but at that age easier to handle than the older one ^^

(Belive me in there, i got some experience)

This sentence could mean from an older woman:

"I dont want to have a realationship with you but i pretend nice and say things so you didnt get that hurt"

or

"Hey I am the woman, if he wants me he has to conquer me" (like the old ism, why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free)

BUT ...

your teenagers, like you, maybe she dosnt have any experience and is shy.

So, my advice is to bet everything on one hand. Cause you cant loose anything, more than "NO, thanks" she cant say and the sentence "Lets just be friends" is the worsest punch in a mens heart ever. Try to date her, a personal meeting and talk. Exchange your life. Act like gentleman! Comfort her, be nice, compliment, little gift maybe (a lower or candy for the beginning is never bad!) but DONT act like a puppet and do everything she wants or you think she likes you more than. That will be the worst. Keep eye contact during the date, but not steering! her eyes are in her head, not at her (.)(.) ... Listen to what she say! But say something yourself too. THe first date is always a bit ... nervous.

Before the date, shower, make yourself ready ... when thats done, short before you go, put your head in icecold water and scream liek hell in there! This makes you a bit chill and gives you a nice face color.

So, give your best!

You cant loose anything.

If she says "Lets just stay friends" answer "No thanks, I have enough friend" (if you think you cant just be friends, if you want to be just a friend, do so, but if you put heart into it it will be very very hard! I knew that by myself!)

Crash+ Sovereign Loyalists - Veteran

Posts : 942Join date : 2010-05-25

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Mon Nov 15, 2010 8:25 pm

Well in my oppinion if she said something like that it means there is something in there.

you need to tell her that after saying this it already did something to your relationship and that taking it a step further might make things better.

its a bit hard for me to give a proper advice just from reading this I need to hear the whole story if you are interested in what I have to say I would be glad to chat with you or talk using vent.

KapitanKapusta+ Sovereign Loyalists - Veteran

Posts : 889Join date : 2010-10-11Age : 31Location : Germany

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Mon Nov 15, 2010 9:50 pm

strebor2095 wrote:

.....

She said she likes me, but doesn't want to ruin our relationship, and besides, we don't know each other very well. (Different primary schools, different social circles. Our main common interest is music, actually.)

So, is that like a "no'? Or a "wait a little bit"? I really don't want to f**k anything up.

.....

Well didn´t you just got dumped in a nice way? It kinda seems that way from the text you wrote. But well I could be mistaken.

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:57 pm

Well, she said she wants to get to know me. But how much can you talk to/with one person without boring them?

Crash, do you have FB? I talk mostly on that. PM me with info/chat clients you use.

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:32 pm

Just do this:

I got condoms (show with left hand) and handcuff (show with right hand). Lets get going?

KapitanKapusta+ Sovereign Loyalists - Veteran

Posts : 889Join date : 2010-10-11Age : 31Location : Germany

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:08 pm

strebor2095 wrote:

Well, she said she wants to get to know me. But how much can you talk to/with one person without boring them?

Crash, do you have FB? I talk mostly on that. PM me with info/chat clients you use.

She said she likes me, but doesn't want to ruin our relationship, and besides, we don't know each other very well. (Different primary schools, different social circles. Our main common interest is music, actually.)

This pretty much means that she either dumped you or is just too shy to go for an actual relationship (not uncommon at that age if she has never had a BF before). So, which one depends on the actual context and thus you would have to elaborate a little bit on pretty much everything.

I doubt she just came out and told you she likes you but doesn’t want “something else” with you just like that, and even more so if you guys don’t know each other very well, so you first need to tell us more of how that conversation came to happen to begin with, as well as how you both interact then if you don’t have much in common aside from music (basically, do you only know her from the net or have you ever actually seen her in person). All of these are important details so we can tell you more.

Also, just because women tend to be more mature than men (particularly at younger ages), it doesn’t mean at all that they can’t be shy or inexperienced, so don’t expect her to be “better” at any of this than you. As for the being smart part, she either likes that part of you or pretty much that’s it, cause downplaying yourself or changing the way you are or talk like just for her won’t work at all, since you would be simply lying to both yourself and her, and thus it wouldn’t get you too far in the long run. Now, if the whole being smart part means that you’re constantly correcting people and flaunting your own knowledge in front of them for no reason at all, then yeah, you may have a problem there. On the other hand if it just has to do with a good usage of language, then it’s their own problem if they feel stupid when you talk, although trying to talk more “normally” around people you already know are not comfortable with it could just as well be a good solution, and it doesn’t mean you need to completely downplay yourself, simply learn to be more moderate about it.

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:27 pm

Alrighty then. To quote her (roughly), she said "I like you a lot, but I don't want to ruin the relationship we already have. Plus, I barely know you". We have met at school, and at a few other things (e.g. Cabaret, school performances), but we live like an hour away, so we don't see each other very often.

She's actually been out with more people than me, my total count stands at one And also one rejection (not from her). I asked her to the movies to see HP7Part1, this afternoon. I can't make the midnight premiere, which she is going to, but she said she'd gladly see it again. Another thing, we don't hang out much at school because of the following:

We are in different years, none of the classes the same, different buses, different towns, different social circles. I think the main problem is that we don't talk IRL enough. But, this week is exam week, so its a bit hard to do stuff when I have to revise... Personally, I would prefer to be with her than do exams.

RavenstormSovereign Loyalists - Past Glory

Posts : 1517Join date : 2010-07-08Age : 24Location : Pedoland

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:35 pm

aww thats so sweet ^^ idk much abt l'amour ... but i know enuff that opposites attract (got the same thing here but with these stupid lady gaga girls *shiver shiver*)

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:03 pm

1 Hour away is nothing man dont give up.. heck i would love my gf to live 1 hour away.. instead she lives 6 hours away with the train o.0 so do not giveu p just for that already!

1 hour? You call that a problem? In my case, it's 5~6 hours with the plane and then a bit with the bus!

So, treasure the fact that you only live 1 hour away from her.

Serenade+ Sovereign Legion - Legionnaire

Posts : 676Join date : 2010-08-26Age : 30

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:23 am

Yeah dude, an hour away from her would be a problem only if you were a 5 year old or something

At any rate, it sounds like you have a chance here, so go for it. Invite her out whenever possible (even if just to chill out somewhere, it doesn’t need to be fancy) and that will resolve the main issue of not talking/seeing her IRL. If there’s chemistry between you then something as simple as spending time together will probably make things work out themselves. And Johnny’s tips as far as the date goes sound pretty good to me, so try them out

With that part out of the way simply chatting with her through msn (or whatever else you use) to make up for the time you don’t spend together at school or wherever else should probably be enough to keep things working

I meant tomorrow afternoon, not yesterday. So far, she said she can't make it because her mum won't let her see the same movie twice in two days. She said she'd go if she could, so I'll take that as a positive. I'll write more later, and edit in colour!

About the distance thing, that is one hour by car. No-one will take me to "the bay" (Near where she lives), and public transport is one and a half hours, once every three hours. Not that I don't mind making the effort, but the bus system in rural Australia is quite shitty. She would have to catch a different bus/get dropped off, and the bus back to my town leaves before 3:00pm.

I would gladly do that, but it might be a little bit of effort.

I'll let you guys know what happens

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:14 pm

My gf lives in another country so seeing her also requires a little bit of effort I live in Belgium, she lives in the netherlands and we'll see each other in France o.0 A la playa!

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:52 pm

Nice Goldy. That is dedication. (I don't even have a passport)

No show, guys. The text says "Sorry, mum says I'm not allowed to go. I tried my hardest, but apparently I've been out too many times this week."

She has had a couple of late nights - Midnight Premiere, going to her sister's year 12 formal, one after the other.

Now what?

AngelBunnySovereign - Major

Posts : 573Join date : 2010-10-12Age : 27Location : Rwanda, Burundi

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:23 pm

I live in sweden and my Boyfreind lives in netherlands

Reivalt wrote:

1 hour? You call that a problem? In my case, it's 5~6 hours with the plane and then a bit with the bus!

So, treasure the fact that you only live 1 hour away from her.

It's actually 2extra hours with the buss and then you would be so lucky that the buss came right after the plane QQAaaaw, u just made me sad

So, the conclusion is, be happy that u CAN see her eveyday and as my Erik said, Treasure it!

Well you could also use a bicycle, unless it's a little pink bicycle with red straps on.. In that case I wouldn't suggest using one.... I remember I had to ride about 6 hours to get to my brothers wedding cause my car broke the day before that.. So sad (Well i could have asked him to pick me up... But that wouldn't be too interesting now would it? ^^ )... When I was 15 or so, I sometimes just walked into the city which was 12 km~ or so away from my home... 3 hours of walking.. Sometimes it helped me relax... Well again I could have used a train but.. It wouldn't have been to interesting either ^^

Sorry for being late to this topic ^^ . As I in some other thread said, I have been working hard cause tons of people were well... Sent out to look for the sun (Hint there.).. I personally haven't seen the sun for 2 weeks already.. Cloudy, Cloudy and again ... Cloudy .. So.. It's like I have to work for the guys who got downsized...

I think that it's quite a delicate situation myself... You should try to meet up as much as possible and atleast get to know each other (Cause I red that you really aren't hanging out with her too much..).. Going to dates is all fine, but the plans tend to fail from time to time (If i could get a dollar for each time a girl said '' I'm sorry my parents wont let me out'' I would be able to get myself a room in a pretty nice hotel ^^) , and if you aren't talking with her enough and showing your good side out enough, she might just stop liking you.. Well this is just my experience .. Well I hope it helped.

Considering her age, meddlesome parents are a part of the ride, and if she has actually been going out quite a few times then it stands to reason that her mother won’t allow her to do it much more, so that’s pretty much normal.

Just invite her for next week or ask her whenever she thinks her mom would allow for it and that’s it. And of course, going out doesn’t necessarily have to be a later night thing at all, so maybe even a small going “somewhere” (dunno what kinda places do the teens your age have to hang out at the place where you live, but there has to be a few) together after school could work like a charm. Going out with her doesn’t always have to be a big planned event where you’re betting your heart and soul to it, so sometimes just something simple to chill is all you need.

Go to a night club and give her vodka redbull (due to the redbull you dont directly feel the vodka xD) after a couple of those give her more vodka .. to a point where theres more vodka than redbull.. xD ah well to keep it short: get her drunk . And the rest will follow

KapitanKapusta+ Sovereign Loyalists - Veteran

Posts : 889Join date : 2010-10-11Age : 31Location : Germany

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:39 am

Goldian wrote:

Go to a night club and give her vodka redbull (due to the redbull you dont directly feel the vodka xD) after a couple of those give her more vodka .. to a point where theres more vodka than redbull.. xD ah well to keep it short: get her drunk . And the rest will follow

well that is if he likes vomit on his stomache lol. And also I doubt he´ll c her again anytime soon after that. xD

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:17 pm

p3ll3 wrote:

Goldian wrote:

Go to a night club and give her vodka redbull (due to the redbull you dont directly feel the vodka xD) after a couple of those give her more vodka .. to a point where theres more vodka than redbull.. xD ah well to keep it short: get her drunk . And the rest will follow

well that is if he likes vomit on his stomache lol. And also I doubt he´ll c her again anytime soon after that. xD

Or if he's lucky she'll pull out a line like : well now that the deed is done i might as well just give us a shot xD

KapitanKapusta+ Sovereign Loyalists - Veteran

Posts : 889Join date : 2010-10-11Age : 31Location : Germany

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Sun Nov 21, 2010 8:19 pm

That be epic lol.

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: Advice, 'coz you guys are cool. Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:28 pm

Sorry guys, have been busy.

In conclusion: She isn't looking for a relationship currently, and probably won't be 'til next year. D: However, she still likes me, and feels bad for saying no.

Well, I suppose I won't be seeing anyone over the holidays who I know, just travelling to New Zealand and Sydney. So, if she likes me next year, she likes me next year. Not much I can do.

(Anyone in New Zealand-North Island who wants to meet with me? I'm sure I could persuade my mum to let me visit an RL stranger while on holidays!)