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Pulp Fiction: Bojangles’ To Sue Every Restaurant Over Brunch Rights

This article was originally published in The Daily Pulp on December 8, 2013.

Bojangles’ Famous Chicken ‘n’ Biscuits, a popular fast food chain in the Southeast released a press release earlier this week claiming that it will sue every restaurant that serves brunch, claiming to have been first to the market when it opened its doors in 1977.

“The executives at Bojangles’ are outraged over this encroachment,” reads the official statement, which appeared in The Daily Pulp’s inbox this past week. The chain, which has cornered the southern market for “tailgating everything” from college game day to church picnics, researched the numbers and found that their Saturday and Sunday morning crowds have absconded to other eateries, lured by bottomless mimosas and fajita omelets.

The official statement from Bojangles’ called for immediate action in this endeavor.

“For too long we have let other dining establishments from Atlanta to Nashville to the damn Yankees in New York City steal our original idea of serving delicious, greasy food to hung-over young people on weekend mornings. This has to end.”

We contacted a Bojangles’ representative, Sallie Bennett, to press further about their menu—is this really brunch?

“You can come into any of our restaurants in the mid-afternoon hours and order a fried chicken biscuit, a side of macaroni and cheese, and a Bo-berry biscuit for desert. Tell me that ain’t brunch.”

Our team has to admit, it is a pretty solid case.

We asked Bennett if there was anything that she would like The Daily Pulp readership to know as her closing remarks.

“Yes. Please, for the love of all things sacred and fried, stop calling us ‘Bo-hong-les’. You’re not cute.”

Sources tell us that Bojangles’ may be willing to settle for exclusive rights to Cajun seasoning. Stay tuned.