Pages

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Those first weeks or months of encounters and dates seem to be filled
with such great promise, high hopes and exciting possibilities. And then
the balloon pops, the sizzle fizzles and the spark goes dark — at least
for him. All of a sudden, those nights filled with LOLs turn into days
full of WTFs.

Why do some guys lose interest when things seem to be going so well?
Here are a few thoughts that might help you make some adjustments that
could help you increase his attention span.

1. Too Easy:

Guys definitely thrive on conquest. But, if the woolly mammoth just
followed the hunter home and jumped on his barbecue pit, it would not
have tasted so sweet, and the celebration surrounding the feast would be
short and boring.

The hunt is what gives significant value to the conquest. Men believe
that anything worth having is worth working hard for or even fighting
for.

Things gained too easily don’t carry a high value. You would have never
seen a squirrel’s head hanging on a cave wall, but you might have seen
the head of a saber-toothed tiger. Give the sexual tension a chance to
build so your amazing gift can be appreciated more fully and with a
bigger burst of delight for your man. Sure, sometimes the mood can be
magnetic and the time can be right early on, so go ahead and capture the
magic of the moment. Just make him wait an extra date or two for the
encore.

2. Too Serious:

Women often look for a solid provider and protector, and then they will
choose one who is also a good playmate. Men look for a fun playmate.
They will eventually zero in on one who can also challenge them and
complete them in other ways.

Early on, men are captivated and blown away by the wonderland of your
femininity. They don’t fall in love the same way you do or for the same
reasons.

You may be ready to take the emotional aspect of the relationship to the
next level, but he’s still enjoying the honeymoon. You may be ready for
him to move in and begin a commitment, but you’re getting way ahead of
where his head is at.

He may be ready too, but he doesn’t know it yet. Until he figures out
for himself that he needs you and that you have become a necessary part
of him, your love and tightening grip will seem like a trap, a prison
and the end of freedom and life as he knows it. He will get scared and
run away.

Once he’s had his “Aha” moment, he will see the commitment of love for
the paradise it is, and he will gladly join you there. Don’t move too
fast, even if he says he loves you.

3. Too Controlling:

Men are independent creatures by nature. They may appreciate a little
fashion advice, if it doesn’t change their self-image. But they don’t
want you to schedule their itinerary for them.

They don’t want to be expected to show up someplace for you without
proper notice and their approval. They don’t want their cave to be
redecorated into someone else’s concept of good living. They don’t want
to swap their French fries for baby carrots, and they don’t even want to
know why they should.

Imagine that you met a prince and just wanted to go out with him. Well,
the palace guard comes to your place and takes over. They replace
everything in your closet with snobbish-attire. They cut your
fingernails and remove the cute little designs in favor of cherry red
polish to match your new required lipstick. Your piercing jewelry is
discarded, your little butterfly tattoo is removed, your gold necklace
is replaced with pearls, and your hair is chopped into a bob with no
highlights.

All you wanted was to kiss the cute guy and maybe pull his pants down,
but you never bargained for anything like this. Men are trainable. You
just have to ease into the adjustments. If you tighten the bolts too
hard or too fast, you’ll strip the nuts and they’ll fall off. Ouch.

4. Too Scary:

They made a movie about how to lose a guy in 10 days. Sometimes a
woman’s habits or actions send up too many red flags, and a guy just has
to scamper away. Too much talk about your ex, describing what your
babies will look like, or being too needy and clingy are not only red
flags, they’re kind of creepy. It’s hard to hold back all of your
amazing qualities, but sometimes it’s for the best.

5. No Spark:

Romance is a two-way street. You have to like him, and he has to like
you. Remember that men are often attracted first by the candy, and then
they learn to appreciate the woman that you are.

It should be no surprise, then, that things may begin with a lot of excitement and heat, both of which can fade quickly.

His natural instincts tell him that the hunt ends with the conquest, so
it is up to you to show him another dimension of your value as a partner
that will keep him interested. Still, not all relationships are meant
to be. Your traits and interests that are perfect for one man may mean
nothing to the next.

The bottom line is that you want as many things as possible to pull your
man closer to you and as few things to drive him away. When it comes to
the physical, emotional or psychological aspects of your relationship,
try to allow your man to feel free, independent, un-threatened,
challenged, in control, and content.