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I want to win this thing. I really want to fucking win this thing -- I really do.

This is the largest lottery jackpot that has ever happened. The largest in world history! Not only would you win the god-damn Mega Millions Lottery, you will be winning the largest jackpot in world history!!

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The cash option is $389 million.

If you don’t know how to play Mega Millions, you’re probably under 18 years old or partially handicap but here’s the deal:

TweetKim Kardashian isn’t the only one in the Kardashian-Jenner family with an endorsement deal.

Kris Jenner, the 56 year old mother of Kourtney (32), Kim (31) and Khloe Kardashian (27), has become the celebreity spokesperson for ZESTRA, a brand of sexual arousal oils that claims to “help women get in the mood and ready for romance in minutes.”

(credit: krisjenner.celebuzz.com)

After 21 years of marriage, Kris Jenner and her husband, Bruce Jenner, make sure they have the assistance they need to keep their sexual lifestyle in order.

Kris Jenner has endorsed Zestra for one of the reasons as she believes Zestra can “add a little excitement” to any woman’s love life. Some “instant gratification” into the bedroom.

“You can’t always plan a romantic dinner or wait for a vacation to have amazing sex, so you have to take advantage of those moments of mutual intimacy. For me, [Zestra provides] instant gratification. In a busy, complicated, hectic life, you can still fit in the time for sex, and you know it’s going to be enjoyable.”

Who couldn’t use more instant gratification in the bedroom?

“I know sex is going to be good with Zestra, so why have sex without it?” Kris Jenner is quoted as saying on Zestra.com.