Q: I am very concerned about my 14-year-old daughter. She seems
to have lost a lot of weight lately and I don't see her eat much or often.
Whenever I ask her about this, she gets mad and says there is nothing wrong
with her. I'm worried she might have some kind of eating disorder, but maybe
this is just part of being a teen girl.

A: This is a difficult age, says the Help for Families panel. She
may just be going through a growth spurt or she may have a serious problem.

“You don't want to upset her,” says panelist Michael Kenney. “But
it may be a problem that could get worse. This is scary stuff for parents.”

Talk to her about what's going on, says panelist Denise
Continenza. “Approach her with, 'You seem upset.' At this age they want to keep
their world to themselves.”

Try to find out how she feels about her body, suggests panelist
Rochelle Freedman.

“Ask her if she's working out,” she says.

Keep an eye on her at family meals.

“Teens are very concerned about privacy,” Kenney says. “Questions
may make her feel like she's been treated like a child. It will have to be done
pretty diplomatically. Don't let yourself be cut off.”

Pick a time when she is relaxed and receptive to talk to her,
says panelist Bill Vogler.

“There's very little downside to a parent expressing concern
about a child's health,” he says. “You may get eye-rolling but remember you are
showing love and concern. You have to set the stage for having up-front
discussions. If you ignore this, it could get worse.”

Educate yourself on eating disorders and talk to a professional,
the panel says.

“Most will take a call and consult with a parent,” Kenney says. “Learning
about it is key. It can help reduce a parent's anxiety.”

The Renfrew Center is a national clinic for eating disorders that
has resources at renfrewcenter.com or by calling 800-736-3739.

Often the teens most vulnerable are the ones who drive themselves
to have the best grades and best behavior, Kenney says.

Signs a teen may have an eating disorder include a preoccupation
with weight, weighing herself obsessively, dressing in baggy clothes to hide
weight loss, fatigue and depression and difficulty concentrating.

Be concerned about a teen who puts too much emphasis on body
image for her self-worth and makes disparaging comments about her body,
Freedman says.

Also think about how you contribute to her views on eating. Do
you put a lot of emphasis on how people look?

Life changes can trigger an eating disorder, because she wants to
have control over things, Kenney says.

Take steps early, he says. If there is significant weight loss, a
visit to the doctor is a good idea. Get lab work because eating disorders can
damage the electrolyte balance in the body.