Eric Millikin: Police say you have the right to remain stoned, eating pizzas, watching 'Lord of the Rings' marathon

1:48 PM, December 6, 2012

Detroit Free Press

Seattle police say you have the right to remain stoned, eating pizzas, watching 'Lord of the Rings' marathon

Seattle Post-Intelligencer says: "With marijuana possession now legal in Washington state, the Seattle Police Department has given its officers some guidance ... Police spokesman Jonah Spangenthal-Lee wrote: 'The police department believes that, under state law, you may responsibly get baked, order some pizzas and enjoy a 'Lord of the Rings' marathon in the privacy of your own home.'"

Eric says: You have the right to an attorney who is watching 'The Wizard of Oz' while listening to Pink Floyd's 'The Dark Side of the Moon.'

Someone is creating breakfast on Massachusetts highway

Boston Herald says: "On Route 495 north in Chelmsford, a collision between two tractor-trailers sent a precious cargo of eggs hurtling 50 yards into the woods."

Boston Herald says: "State police are cautioning that the rollover of a truck hauling maple syrup and a subsequent diesel fuel spill on Interstate 495 south just south of Exit 13 in Mansfield will have an unappetizing impact on the afternoon commute."

Eric says: Quick, someone set a bacon truck on fire.

Giant catfish have learned how to kill pigeons

Discover Magazine says: "In Southwestern France, a group of fish have learned how to kill birds. As the River Tarn winds through the city of Albi, it contains a small gravel island where pigeons gather to clean and bathe. And patrolling the island are European catfish—1 to 1.5 metres long, and the largest freshwater fish on the continent. These particular catfish have taken to lunging out of the water, grabbing a pigeon, and then wriggling back into the water to swallow their prey."

Eric Millikin is an artist who enjoys bizarre stories and cracking jokes. Thanks to my BFFs (Bizarre Fact Finders) for news tips; you can also send yours to eamillikin@freepress.com. Your jokes go in comments, and then we all laugh real hard.