This episode should have been named "Knocking the Boots" for two significant hooking up scenes. Sheesh, did it just get hotter in here or is that just me? "Night on the Sun" is probably named this because much of the daytime scenes are dark and angsty, like a faux-Goth kid who shows up to Hot Topic five minutes after it has closed.

But the episode opens at night with Sookie in the hospital screaming so loud I thought the last three hairs of her eyebrows might fall out. Jason inquires if she has brain damage. Nooooooo, but she does need to talk to Bill. I don’t think he’s susceptible to another feeding frenzy while wearing that track jacket. Where did he get it? Tara’s closet?

So anyhoo, Sook and Bill break up because of his vampire rape thing from last week and over all the blood spilled between them (symbolized by blood literally spilling out of Sookie’s IV). As a consolation prize, Sookie gets Alcide who decides to stay in Bon Temps for a bit. Their canoodling is cut short when Jason and Andy pop in to convince Sookie to press charges against Bill for “domestic … something.”

Andy seems less interested when Sook declines, but Jason gets all racist and decides to go Rambo on Bill.

And upstairs in Sookie’s house (still covered in Marianne crap), Tara lets Lafayette know her death wish has passed over Eggs, and that she fought hard to survive the Franklin ordeal. But she won’t talk details about any of it, and it’s clear she’s got some serious post-traumatic vampire stress issues.

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice, no wait, Mississippi … Sophie-Anne moves into Russell’s mansion with all of her birds in tow. Talbot is NOT pleased as she and all of their unwelcomed guests have ruined his décor. Russell thinks Talbot should be excited about their new acquisition. Talbots retort: “Excited? Franklin’s brains won’t wash off the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I’ve had enough excitement, thank you.” He tells Russell that he’s “Acting like a century-old child.” Ooh, Ya Burned!

Still, Russell reveals something very important: That the most important thing to him, amidst all the chaos and perhaps an impending vampire war following the Magister’s murder, is that Talbot is safe. Who should hear this, but none other than Eric, which brings us to …

Blue Sweater Watch 2010:

Lest we forget, yes, Eric still has it on. I mean these other people are changing their clothes, come on Eric.
Well, he discovers überskank Deb lurking around. I don’t know, but I’m starting to get the feeling she doesn’t care for Sookie. Debbie tells Russell, “She f--ked my ex-boyfriend and made him shoot my fiance. She’s a c--t.” To which Russell replies, “But she’s a special c--t.”

After seeming a little too protective of Sook, Russ acts momentarily suspicious of Eric. The Big E assuages the King’s concerns while stroking his ego – although the scene made it seem like Eric was about to do more than some ego stroking.

Then Mr. Blue Sweater almost loses his cool when Talbot nearly tosses Eric’s pappa’s crown whilst trashing Russ’ collection. But then Eric remembers to keep his eye on the prize: REVENGE. He offers to stay with Talbot for his dear King Russell.

Bill and his trusty track jacket return home to try to shoo-off Jessica, but she pleads with him to stay and teach her things. For a moment there, I thought it might turn into a sex scene but it stayed pretty innocent. These two need each other. Later on the next night Billy Boy is shown teaching Jess how to fight in superspeed, and he lets us know werewolves are faster than her. Once more, the physicality of the scene almost gets sexual but is diffused when they talk about their mutual doomed love affairs.

Back in the daytime, Tara’s got the trembling lip thing down pat. Sure, she’s been seriously traumatized but she’s a bit whiny. And she keeps having flashbacks and sex dreams about Franklin. Remember, this is Tara’s first vamp experience, so she’s freaked that he’s still in her head. The return of Franklin is hilarious to me; I love that crazy dude.

To show how different life can be without Bill, Sookie is shown sunbathing in her yard. Tara shows and for a moment, there’s some girl bonding until Tara ruins it by trashing Bill, and Sook defends the big guy. She says she understand what it’s like to not be able to control her body (although her light-flashy powers and telepathy have yet to rip out a significant other’s throat. Just sayin’). The exchange just shows that Sookie will return to Bill.

Alcide turns up to say goodbye. Debbie burned down his sister’s hair salon and he has to return to Jackson, Miss. to clean things up. They’re saying their goodbyes and he tells Sook she’s tougher than a “one-eared alley cat.” That’s pretty tough, but whyyyyyy in this sexually charged episode didn’t they exchange a kiss or a romp in the hay? Oh yeah, cause they’re both pining over someone else. But there is a spark between these two.

Ruby Jean’s crazy ass shows back up wielding a knife and spouting prophecies and Jesus (the Mexican one) comes to retrieve her. Good thing too because it seems Lafayette can’t handle her. Alfre Woodard as Ruby Jean nailed it here with funny/insane line delivery. But she also lets us in that her son is powerful, and Jesus agrees. Crazy talk or is Lafayette more connected to the supernatural world than we thought? And how does Jesus know?

Crystal Meth shows back up at Jason’s door with a blackened eye and demands Jason’s truck, which actually turns into a sex fest. Jason convinces CM to take a shower. I’m pretty sure she needed one after that swim in the pond to Jason’s so she could escape her family. She tells him that’s the only way she could get there without them tracking her scent. Jason obviously doesn’t catch on to the fact that they’re non-humans and says, “What is that, drug dealer code for something?”

Riiight. Well, Jason busts up in CM’s family’s shack while she’s in the shower and I swear I heard dueling banjoes. Well, skanky daddy shows up (just after leaving Merlotte’s looking for CM and threatening Sam and Tommy, where everyone smelled supernatural stink on one another).

Hadley shows up at Sookie’s with a message from Eric (who stayed awake long enough to free Hadley and get all bloody from sleep deprivation) to stay away from Bill and to beware that Russell and his werewolf pack are after her.

No crap, Eric; we didn’t think Deb was full of idle threats, only hairspray. Then again, this did all happen pretty fast.

Then, it gets juicy. Eric finally changes out of his blue sweater and slips into something even gayer to play chess with Talbot, who is a really lousy loser. Talbot gets bored with playing chess and makes Eric disrobe for a little pre-fangbang interaction:

Eric: “It’s been a while since I have done this.”
Talbot: “A man?”
Eric: “No, a vampire.”

I’m going to interrupt this little scenario to flip back to Bon Temps.

Since Hadley alerted Sookie about the were-skank’s impending arrival, she’s chilling by the window with a shot gun. And all of a sudden, everyone arrives at once for a knockdown, drag-out fight: Bill, Jessica, Deb, other werewolves (including Don Swayze’s Gus), and of course, Russell. Bill and Jessica fight the other weres and Sookie goes one-on-one with Deb. Holy cat/were fight!

So, why doesn’t Sookie take the opportunity to kill Deb when she has a chance? Probably because of Alcide’s feelings for her. Still, Sook does give Deb a Heath Ledger Joker smile with a pair of scissors, and Deb crashes through the window to escape and fight another day. Downstairs, Bill kills his werewolf and Jessica (who starts her fight with a cute “Hi!”) is doing pretty well … until she is lured outside into the clutches of Russell, who takes a bite out of Red.

Russ wants in the house to get Sookie (to trade the redhead for the blonde), but Bill goads him instead into a fight.

“You are 3,000 years old and a king, yet you hide behind guards, wolves, a baby vampire … are you a coward, or are you just lazy?”

Just like Eric earlier in the episode, Bill uses Russ’ ego to get to him. Sadly, Bill gets his ass handed to him.
Bill and Jessica end up outside (good thing for that training session earlier) and Bill has to battle Russell when he suddenly freaks out and flies away to the aide of Talbot.

Okay, so back to Eric and Talbot …

Naked on the floor, the two are getting it on and Eric tells him to turn over. Eric says the King took his family away from him, and now it’s his turn. This was not meant sexually, either. Clearly The ’Bot was anticipating something other than the wooden stake (stabbed in the back, poor thing) that Eric delivered.

R.I.P. Talbot, we hardly knew ye. But his death sent the buzz to Russell who flies away (Neo, Matrix-style, which is apparently not a gift all vamps share) and thus saves Bill.

Very juicy stuff. And had Eric not killed Talbot, we wouldn’t have been treated to the very R-rated aggressive makeup sex scene between Bill and Sookie that closed out the episode. Sook has never been this dominating in sex before, so maybe she’s a new woman. That remains to be seen.

Smaller Bites:

Terry and Arlene make a very brief appearance and Arlene keeps having day-mares about Rene.

A new waitress is hired at Merlotte’s and Arlene instructs Sam not to have sex with her. Is the new waitress another supernatural? How else does she know Arlene is preggers?

Hoyt v. Tommy. Even with the shifter thing, our money is on Hoyt.

Speaking of Tommy, he seems like a good kid but he’s angry and horny. Can someone just get him some action to calm him down a bit and prevent him from trying to screw/fight everything?

It turns out that Jessica does love Hoyt, but so much that she lets him go.

Could they have picked a better dog to portray Mama Mickens? Hopefully she is gone for good.