Life has changed greatly. My partner, my husband whom I have been with for 13 years, has become ill. This is going to change our lives quite dramatically as we learn how to deal with two illnesses in the household. This is the week he is learning to realize the challenge ahead of him. I must instill upon him that he cannot give up, that this is a curse that can be reversed or mitigated. At least that is the hope, that through this a positive change will come. It is a time of realization and even when things that have supported one for a long time come to an end, there is still the need to continue to live on doing something, being someone, bringing in an income at least enough to be able to live on.

This very website may be in jeopardy. Yes, it is free, but if the internet connection and even the electricity must be turned off or limited, this site will not be as well maintained. It is barely maintained now with entries every couple of months. But this illness, this sickness has been creeping in since December, affecting my family of two.

Lot's of challenges in my life right now. Biggest one is medical, I guess. So many tests to do, nutritionist to see, preparation for a major surgery. It is overwhelming. I wish I could make my family understand how I feel right now. Every day there is something else to be afraid about and I just can't quite share that with them. It would overwhelm them, too.

So, I am hiding in my bedroom, in my hospital bed, as usual. Visiting MOOC sites, particularly Coursera, because that has been the only thing that has kept me sane. Join me?

Yes, the kids with their kids have moved in...into my little house, my small rental. They are sleeping in one room together at present, and helping get the rest of the house in line for their visit.

My son found work right away and works five days. His wife, my dear daughter-in-law, works from home (telecommutes). Yes, she is actually working online out of my house, which means we have to keep the kids quiet for a few hours while she works - OR - move her into my bedroom and shut the door. BUT, and this is laughable, she starts work at 5 AM, which is great until the kids wake up.

Actually we have been having a blast around here - home cooked meals for everyone, and laughter most of the time. The little one is smiley, always laughing, such joy. It has really changed things - we are all quite happy.

But, ah, Coursera? Now I have to sneak moments to get online to study...as I am often intercepting a little baby running in and out of my room. I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to come back to this web site, but am squeezing in a little time just to report in for you all. I am still doing classes, but not as devoted to them as I was...and several of my teaching courses have started...oops, here is the baby. Just a moment...

...that was my middle son calling from Texas to report in his new changes, not going with a girl anymore, has new job he really likes, moved back to original town he was in and plans to get his own place, trannie blew up on new S10, all good and working towards a better life...

...SO! You can see it has been busy here. It is nice in my old age to have family, I cannot explain that to anyone who already has had family for a long time, but I was alone a lot of my life, probably one reason I do well in Coursera, because I am used to working alone, being alone. This being around people has been really good for me, but I have had to learn a lot in a short period of time! For a few days, the baby was going around saying "Yay" and I would say, "Yay" and he would repeat it a couple of times back and forth. He has been cute. And his older brother has been doing some writing for school to prepare him for the first grade, we are all hoping he takes off really well in this class. My daughter-in-law cooked a really good dinner tonight and even my husband came home for it, so it's all good...oh, but, Coursera, well, I may not pass every class I am taking at the moment, and may not score over 90% in the rest, but am still studying when I can, even if it is at 3 AM in the morning.

Doesn't take much to get a life disturbance that costs you a day of good work when you sit on the edge of emotions and massive pain.

That happened today. I am only now getting it together to be on the computer, past 7 PM on a Saturday. Tears, emotions, just one of those days. Mostly due to naysayers, and personal feelings, and regrets. I have to learn to shield myself better or just stay off Facebook. Anyway, no one's fault but my own for buying into a conversation with a negative person. Will be the last time for me.

So, now that I am back online, thought I'd just mention that with a MOOC (Massive Open Online Course - like we have been discussing, Coursera, in particular), you can make up your own hours. If you are having a bad day, take care of yourself! It is okay.

Of course, if you are doing a class for CEUs (Continuing Education Credits, usually for a medical profession or a job requirement), then stay the course. And if you have paid for the Signature Track which allows you to get confirmation/credit from the university for your work in the class, then, again, stay the course.

I was doing some research today about Invacare hospital beds, because I have a bed at home that I have been in for almost two years, and the cord that moves the legs up and down seems to be shorting out. Now, I did not get my question answered, so I am hoping it does not get stuck up.

Oh, did I tell you - yes, I am in a hospital bed at home. That means I have a lot of time on my hands and can do a lot of studying at Coursera (Coursera is a MOOC, a Massive Open Online Course). And I have. I take a lot of courses. I do not finish them all. Some I take one look at and decide not to go back. Some I attempt and after the first week, I give up or it gets put farther behind in choices of classes to complete. And some I finish, easily, but just as often kicking and screaming to try and make deadlines. It is a challenge to keep up with classes in this position, I can tell you!

But this blog is about me, just a little personal history. And if you are an employer or potential employer, stop reading, because it contains medical data that you should not be privy to without my permission (yeah, like that's going to work - this is the world wide web, the internet, the cloud). Well, how about if I ask you out of professional courtesy to respect my professional persona? THANKS!

Okay. Yes, I am in a hospital bed and have been since a neck fusion in August of 2011. My doctor allowed me to keep the bed because I sometimes have excruciating pain from severe scoliosis. I was recovering, and attending a pain clinic to get a grip on my pain and then just after Christmas last year (2012), I was in a car accident. Then, less than two months later, I suffered another car accident. Neither were my fault. Both have increased my pain tremendously, decreased my ability to walk, and have made a shambles of my quality of life (a medical term depicting how someone functions in their life and how it affects them). I do not really want to go into too many details, for several reasons, but mostly because if I focus on the pain, instead of focusing elsewhere, then I seem to have more pain. That is not exactly true, and the pain has been increasing lately with new symptoms occurring down both my legs, but let's not go there.

I just wanted to share this little tidbit with you so you will understand why I have so much time to take classes at Coursera. You can say I am a Coursera guinea pig, though they don't know it (yet). So, let me be your MOOC guide and I will share about some classes I have taken, successfully and not so successfully, and maybe you will join me in the MOOC world? See you there! Oh, the link: