I just saw the most astonishing story on the news that I’d like to share with everyone. But first, in case you don’t know what cognitive dissonance is I’ll explain. It’s when you see something that contradicts what you thought was reality. You have to sit yourself down and convince your mind that what you saw is real, even though it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. You have to abandon what should be altruistic and replace it with the new world order.

A poor woman in Chicago had four children and three of them were eventually lost to gun violence. Guess what happened to number four over the weekend? That’s right, they put her out of business. Way to go Chicago!

Just in case you thought you would never see two examples of cognitive dissonances in one letter consider this. I’m packing up the wife and kids to live a utopian lifestyle in good old Chicago.

I have found Nirvana. The great thing also is that you get to freeze to death as your enjoying it.

I’ll send a postcard down the road and let everyone know when to follow.

Now that you’ve managed to digest the latest news, push the reset button that controls your perception of reality. But wait till the smoke has cleared so you don’t make anymore mistakes in determining the possible from the impossible. Welcome to the new world order. By the way, didn’t El Presidente live there too? Tsk! Tsk! Your smoking again!