The Merry Wives of Windsor

Hostess Quickly. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement,
405and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor
Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any
body in the house, here will be an old abusing of
God's patience and the king's English.

Hostess Quickly. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in
faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
[Exit RUGBY]An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant
shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no
415tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is,
that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish
that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let
that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?

Hostess Quickly. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man;
go into this closet: he will not stay long.
440[Shuts SIMPLE in the closet]What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!
Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt
he be not well, that he comes not home.
[Singing]445And down, down, adown-a, &c.

[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS]

Doctor Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you,
go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box,
a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
450

Hostess Quickly. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.
[Aside]I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found
the young man, he would have been horn-mad.

Hostess Quickly. [Aside to SIMPLE] I am glad he is so quiet: if he
had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him
so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,
man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and
the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my
495master,—I may call him my master, look you, for I
keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do
all myself,—

Simple. [Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY] 'Tis a great charge to
500come under one body's hand.

Hostess Quickly. [Aside to SIMPLE] Are you avised o' that? you
shall find it a great charge: and to be up early
and down late; but notwithstanding,—to tell you in
your ear; I would have no words of it,—my master
505himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but
notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,—that's
neither here nor there.

Doctor Caius. You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by
gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee
510park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest
to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good
you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two
stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw
at his dog:
515

Doctor Caius. It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me
dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine
520host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I
will myself have Anne Page.

Hostess Quickly. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We
must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!

Doctor Caius. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have
525not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my
door. Follow my heels, Rugby.

[Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY]

Hostess Quickly. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I
know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor
530knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more
than I do with her, I thank heaven.

Hostess Quickly. Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever
broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I
550shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But
indeed she is given too much to allicholy and
musing: but for you—well, go to.

Fenton. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money
for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if
555thou seest her before me, commend me.

Hostess Quickly. Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your
worship more of the wart the next time we have
confidence; and of other wooers.