Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dear Five Feet of Crazy™:

Your oh-so-inappropriate, slavering man-crush on Canada’s Leading Asshole™ aka Mark Steyn has finally devolved into complete and utter hilarity. The fact that you would so blatantly hump his leg while still managing to get in a gratuitous, misogynistic swipe at women in general is too, too precious ... even for you.

I have an idea, you worthless shriek harpy, why don’t you take a page from Dr. Laura’s book and shut. The. Fuck. Up.

...the world will have no choice but to pay attention to her, even if it is only in morbid fascination.

The only way this drama can get interesting for me is if the CBC were to produce a reality series and put all these wingnut welfare cases and raging mediocrities on a island somewhere (with their guns) and see how they'd fare.

Delurking.To give my comment a sense of continuity, I do not have cable, or satellite. Whatever TV I get is via antenna, and it seems to me that the whole North American continent has gone nuts about so called reality shows which I refuse to watch. Thank the noodly appeandage for BBC 7, otherwise I would be totally, instead of partially, insane.TiGuy, that is a brilliant idea, picture a house with Steyn, MacMillan, Shaidle, Frum, Rex Murphy and a few other lesser luminaries. Picture the fun that 21st century conservatism (which isn't really conservatism) would produce. How right wing can one be? Watch and find out. Who would be the first one voted out of the house? Who would be the first to be found wanting? That is a reality show that I might actually watch....well probably not, but it would be fun to watch them eat their own.

We can dream, Ti-Guy, we can only dream that they would finally pick each other off.

I suggest that partly out of my concern for the welfare-addicted wingnuts. There is legitimate market value in their ability to become parodies of themselves, and the first to realise that will make a killing.

As an attorney acting on behalf of Canada's GENUINE leading asshole, Stevie "noWonder" Harper, I would like to ask you to cease and desist from using my honestly (well, mostly) earned right to that title, by virtue of my election as Prime Minister of Canada (minority or not). If being Prime Minister does not entitle me to be called Canada's Leading Asshole, please advise as to what I need do to deserve that honorific.

But to sum up my legal argument-

1. My client is an Asshole

2. My client "leads" the minority "NEW" government of Canada, thus can be said to "lead" Canada.

3. Mark Steyn can be second in command, maybe - unless he wants to contest the leadership of the PsuedoConservative Party of Canada.

Oh, SQ, only if the last man standing was.....who?Not Rex, not Stevo, not Kathy or KKKatethen who?Where is Phillip Lombard when you need him?SQ, one of my favourite of all time movies - "Those whom the Gods would destroy".

I think that show would result in yet another re-lapsing on the part of Kathy Shaidle, when she looks around at all the skinny wingnuts and realises they're picturing her well-marbled self turning slowly on a spit over a mesquite fire.

Lulu, you made me go to the link. Curse you. "Intellectual betters"? My goodness, my brother has a mensa plus IQ. he's a stockboy at the A&P and has been for 20 years. Mensa is full of gas station attendants. What does intellectual mean these days. Does one attribute intellectual status to Frum and Steyn, merely because of their position, which in both cases was not gained on their own efforts, but because of who they were related to or knew. I'd rather listen to my brother. At least he has common sense and his IQ could blow away people like Steyn, Frum, Shaidle, MacMillan et al - me too but I don't envy him. Unfortunately, in my experience, true brilliance comes with a downside. Some folks with true brilliance seem to burn brightly for a short period of time,then flame out, usually due to a wish to end their existence. Others, like Timothy Findlay, Margaret Attwood et al, work through their issues and fight for the rights of others. Then we have pseudo-intellectuals... and there are too many of those running around today. Intellectual is only as good as what one does with it. If one uses one's intellect to increase one's power and monetary ability at the expense of those considered less intellectual, then is that person really an intellectual. Damned if I know, but if these folks are examples of intellectuals, then....contain them where they can't do any more harm. Maybe summer camps, as cleaners ofthe kybous?

I have some cowboy boots, handmade in Texas. How about meeting in July 20 miles south of Regina Saskatchewan, both of us wearing only our boots. Then we can get down to resolving our outstanding legal issues (unless my client no longer is entitled to the title of "Leading Asshole of Canada," by far the most desirable resolution of this embarrassing issue.