MATCH DAY CHALLENGE

A while ago, our Doc Martened editor was interviewing JON
RITMAN, the man behind Batman. During the interview, CHRIS CLARKE called
round to see Jon, and the conversation turned to their classic football game
Match Day.

Clearly, Jon and Chris rather fancied themselves as Match Day players
— they while away hours playing the game, and are often joined by BERNIE
DRUMMOND, the graphics genius who works with Jon.

Calling their bluff, the Ed proposed a MATCH DAY CHALLENGE, where the
programmers would meet the best on-screen footballers CRASH could provide. They
agreed. An appeal for top-notch players appeared in the magazine, entries were
sifted and a shortlist drawn up. The date was set, and one rainy day last year
the programmers and challengers travelled to Ludlow from the four corners of
England.

This is their story...

ONE RAINY DAY IN NOVEMBER..

An impressive array of footballing talent gathered in the
function room of the Starline Club. Adam Harrison had travelled all the way
from Dewsbury to take part in the day’s events, chauffeured by his father. Paul
Johns had made the trip from Wokingham in deepest Berkshire with Mark Gillard,
his self-appointed coach and trainer. Steven Bayliss was accompanied by a team
of supporters — his family had decided to make a day of it, and chartered a
minibus to get them from Porth in Mid Glamorgan. Cheshire, or more precisely
Malpas, was represented by Mike Sutton, and Birmingham’s contender, Steve
Cartlidge brought his parents and sister for moral support.

Nervous glances were exchanged by these five contestants as they tried to
ascertain each other’s footballing prowess. The buffet wasn’t given a second
glance — the rigours of travel combined with pre-match nerves meant no-one was
hungry. The sixth man, Joe Waldron — founder of a short-lived magazine called
MDAS (short for Match Day Appreciation Society) wasn’t there — had he
been overcome by last-minute nerves or was he deliberately winding up his
opponents? The tension mounted.

Three tables against a wall each groaned under the weight of a monitor,
computer, and cassette deck. Match Day’s loading screen appeared on
three monitors and a pair of empty chairs was in front of each table. Cameron
Pound could be heard setting up his studio flash gear in the adjoining room,
and flashes of blue light illuminated the playing area as he made the final
adjustments. The coffee percolator in the midst of the buffet burbled its
annoyance at being ignored — or was it the rumblings of a nervous challenger’s
stomach?

Then the programmers made their entrance. Jon Ritman had driven Bernie
Drummond and Chris Clarke up from London that morning and arrived clutching a
cushion “for the back trouble” and a carrier bag containing favourite
joysticks. Still no sign of Joe Waldron — was he pushing gamesmanship too
far?

First panic of the day was caused amongst the assembled CRASH Minions when
Jon spotted that only one Spectrum sported an Interface 2. The trio of
programmers are all confirmed joystick wielders — “what if we have to play
someone who doesn’t like using keys” Jon asks. A hurried audit of the CRASH
peripherals cupboard begins and then someone decides to ask the contestants an
obvious question: fortunately it is only the programmers who prefer joysticks —
everyone else is happiest using keys. First organisational panic over.

No sign of Joe Waldron though.

Paul Johns and
Chris Clarke get to grips with some on-screen action in Round One. Paul went on
to inflict a 5-2 defeat on Chris — the first of many. Well, six, to be
accurate...

THE RULES OF PLAY

With or without Mr Waldron, it was time to explain the ground
rules and start the contest. It had been ordained that the challenge was to
take place on a league basis, with contestants playing each programmer in a
match of ten minutes each-way. Three points would be earned for a win, one
point for a draw and nothing for losing. If there was a tie on points after all
the CRASH challengers had played their three games, a playoff would decide the
overall CRASH champion. The champion would then play each programmer once more
in a game lasting five minutes each-way and a final league table drawn up to
rank the three programmers and the CRASH champion.

Everyone understood. Except Joe Waldron — perhaps he wasn’t coming after
all. The draw was made and the fixture list for five rounds of
challenger/programmer games drawn up.

The Final Playoff.
Steve Cartlidge and Paul Johns battle it out for the title of CRASH Match Day
Champion

PLAY BEGINS

As the players took station in front of the Spectrums, with
Steve Cartlidge playing Ritman, Mike Sutton challenging Drummond and Paul Johns
taking on Clarke, the audience settled into the stands. A hushed, reverential
air pervaded the room. The coffee percolator gurgled petulantly again. Still,
no-one had dared approach the refreshments. Families and supporters looked on,
taking their opportunity to size up the playing skills of the programmers and
the other CRASH readers.

As the first three games came to a close, tension mounted and then subsided
quickly when the results were announced. The players were able to stand down
from the eagle-eyed gaze of an intense audience and relax for a while. Ritman
and Drummond had got off to a cracking start, striking fear into the hearts of
all contestants with a 5-1 and 7-0 victory respectively. Clarke, who went 2-5
down to Paul, proved that programmers were not superhuman beings after all.
Clarke muttered gently about Drummond having pinched his favourite joystick for
the Challenge...

Steve Cartlidge was able to sit the next round out, leaving Mike Sutton and
Paul Johns to take on Ritman and Drummond respectively. Steve Bayliss stepped
up to play Clarke. During this second match the tension in the room began to
disappear. The percolator was relieved of several cups of coffee and settled
down to a contented hissing, while one or two brave souls picked at the buffet
— it was well past lunchtime after all!

At the end of the second round Ritman remained unbeaten, inflicting a near
walkover on the nervous Mike Sutton, but the tide had changed for the
programmers. Clarke suffered his second defeat and Drummond went down 6-3 to
his opponent.

Paul Johns appeared to have the makings of a useful player: played two, won
two. Could he complete the hat-trick against the programming trio? He was drawn
against Ritman in the next round, with Steve Bayliss matched against Drummond
and Adam Harrison stepping in for his first game of the contest against
twice-defeated Clarke. Hunger had set in seriously amongst the audience, and
the programmers declared a short rest break while they took refreshment. Still
no sign or word about Mr Waldron’s whereabouts.

Adam Harrison had drawn his first game in the third round — against Clarke
who was still muttering about Drummond having stolen his favourite joystick.
Paul Johns was about to get his chance to prove his worth by taking on Ritman,
and Steve Bayliss went forward against Drummond. And then, shortly after the
kick-off... the mysterious Joe Waldron arrived! Consultation began with the
organisers, and a sixth round was added to the league so that Joe could join
in. The audience was tucking into the buffet with a vengeance (and was
mysteriously swelled by the greater part of the Art Department who descended en
masse from their garret in the Towers after hearing rumours of a free
lunch.)

Sadly, Paul Johns succumbed to Ritman’s onslaught and failed to make the
hat-trick, but at the end of the third round he was still in the lead having
played two games and lost one. Adam started out by beating Clarke (hadn’t
everyone?) and Drummond used the stolen joystick to good effect, notching up
another victory.

ROUND ONE

RITMAN 5

STEVEN CARTLIDGE 1

DRUMMOND 7

MIKE SUTTON 0

CLARKE 2

PAUL JOHNS 5

ROUND TWO

RITMAN 10

MIKE SUTTON 1

DRUMMOND 3

PAUL JOHNS 6

CLARKE 2

STEVEN BAYLISS 3

ROUND THREE

RITMAN 3

PAUL JOHNS 1

DRUMMOND 4

STEVEN BAYLISS 3

CLARKE 3

ADAM HARRISON 5

ROUND FOUR

RITMAN 4

STEVEN BAYLISS 3

DRUMMOND 6

ADAM HARRISON 4

CLARKE 3

STEVEN CARTLIDGE 6

ROUND FIVE

RITMAN 6

ADAM HARRISON 2

DRUMMOND 4

STEVEN CARTLIDGE 5

CLARKE 5

MIKE SUTTON 6

SUPPLEMENTARY WALDRON ROUND

RITMAN 4

JOE WALDRON 3

DRUMMOND 2

JOE WALDRON 3

CLARKE 6

JOE WALDRON 3

Round Four saw Steve up against the demon Ritman, Adam playing his second
game, this time against Drummond, and Steve Cartlidge returning to the arena
hoping to collect a win against Clarke. Everyone else had, after all... And
true to form, Ritman inflicted yet another defeat and Clarke managed to avoid
winning.

As the final round in the main non-Waldron League began, Paul Johns remained
in the lead. Although Mike Sutton had drawn Clarke and looked set to win the
match, he had already lost two games and was out of the running, as was Steve
Bayliss. Adam Harrison was still in with a chance — if he could beat the demon
Ritman. Steve Cartlidge needed a victory over Drummond to go forward to a
playoff with Paul.

Once again, Ritman and Clarke kept to their form, and so Mike and Adam
dropped out of the running. Steve Cartlidge fought a close battle with
Drummond, finally securing a 5-4 victory and setting himself up for a playoff
with Paul Johns.

The challenge was far from over, however. The Waldron Round remained to be
played — could this late arrival, playing firmly in extra time, manage to pull
off two victories against the three programmers and earn himself a place in the
playoff? Nobody was surprised when Ritman strolled to victory against Joe.
Drummond, however conceded a 3-2 defeat, and if Clarke kept to his form it
looked like Joe would be joining Steve and Paul in a three-way playoff.

Disaster struck for Joe, however. Clarke managed to win his first game of
the day, 6-3 no less, so the latecomer’s bid for glory was ended. It was time
to stage the playoff between Steve and Paul — a single game of fifteen minutes
each way...

The Challenge Final between Steve Cartlidge and Paul Johns was indeed a
marathon game — half an hour of serious keyboard pounding would be enough to
test the stamina of any Match Day player, especially after the tension and
effort of competing in a league. Gradually Steve began to edge into the lead,
and then Paul’s game seemed to collapse for a while allowing Steve to hammer a
handful of goals into the net.

By the end of the Final, Steve had built up an eight goal lead, clearly
setting himself up as THE CRASH MATCH DAY CHAMPION with a 13-5 victory.

But before the presentation of a bottle of bubbly and the official
photosession, the new CRASH Champion had to play the three programmers once
more to provide a definitive analysis of his performance against the byte
merchants.

No doubt Steve was exhausted, coming straight from a marathon playoff into a
trio of consecutive games, so he may well have lost his peak form.
Nevertheless he gave a good account of himself, scoring three goals against
Ritman but conceding six and losing 4-1 to Drummond before pasting Clarke
(traditional, by this stage of the day) 5-3.

THE FINAL ANALYSIS

The programmers and the CRASH MATCH DAY Champion had played
seven games each by the end of the afternoon. Here’s how they shaped up in the
Super League:

Steve Cartlidge

4

0

3

33

30

12

-3

Chris Clarke

1

0

6

24

33

3

-9

Bernie Drummond

4

0

3

30

22

12

+8

Jon Ritman

7

0

0

38

14

21

+24

Jon Ritman waits
for the champagne cork to pop while Bernie and Chris point at the new
champion

END OF SEASON

As the Super League table shows, Jon Ritman truly plays a
formidable game: he finished with a goal average of +24 and seven wins to his
credit. Worthy of promotion for the next season.

Steve Cartlidge and Bernie Drummond both played consistently well,
level-pegging on points. Bernie’s slight advantage in terms of Goal Average
sneaks him into second place above Steve.

But Chris Clarke, deprived of his favourite joystick or not, turned in a
very poor showing on the day, losing six of his games and ending up with a
measly three points and a goal average of -9 to his credit. Relegated.