Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

Spiritual Awakening

The founder of AA, Bill Wilson, was fortunate enough to have a spiritual &quot;experience&quot; of blinding light and instaneous effect while in the hospital detoxing, some sort of epiphany I think. Relatively few of us have such sudden God-consciousness happen; most of us have a slower awakening (or experience) of the &quot;educational variety&quot; according to the Big Book, perhaps as a result of doing the steps.

The text of the BB explains that a spiritual experience is relatively sudden, lasting only minutes or maybe a few hours while a spiritual awakening is a much more gradual transformation that can take days, weeks, months or even longer.

In either case, the book says the result should be the same; the individual has a personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism. Prayer and meditation is what I think made the biggest changes in my life. I believe there are other methods to stop drinking through spirituality. I happen to like the program of AA..... I just wish I was better at working the program...

I completely agree that we learn to depend on God to protect us from relapse. The only thing is that this is a process that takes a lot of work and continual dedication for us to finally walk out of the darkness of alcoholism. I would also like to mention that Bill had a great deal of support from his loving wife. Lois was the embodiment of &quot;God doing for Bill what he could not do for himself.&quot;

I have a lot of repect for Bill Wilson. But this quick flash of light &quot;spritual experience&quot; stuff, sounds to much like hocus pocus for my taste. IOW, No quick fixes in this recovery business!

I think it all depends on whether the experience is so compelling that there's no going back on it or erasing it from the mind, like the aha! moment when we suddenly see the solution to puzzle.

There are two ways to look at a tapestry, and they're both perfectly legitimate. One is to behold it as a work of art, gazing at the front of it from a distance such that the whole picture is in focus to us. The other is to turn it over and examine the intricate but shapeless stitchery that made the picture possible. But I think it's a fair question to ask which of these perspectives is what the artist wanted us to take.

Here is what the Big Book offers as a definition of a Spiritual Experience:

&quot;Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these occurrences are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.&quot;

These experiences are completely possible and sudden. I know because I had a sudden spiritual experience.

I was asked to start thinking what my Higher Power might be. I was also reading through the Big Book and was at Step 4. The night before I had completed the first 2 columns and on the night I had the experience I began the 3rd column (Affects My). As soon as I began writing, I became overwhelmed with the new information I had just digested. It seemed that everything began to change at that moment. I wasn't expecting a spiritual experience, I didn't even really know about these phenomena. For hours I wrote down how the resentments I had carried for years were so much the result of the various things in me that were affected. To say the least, I was extremely emotional, crying for hours at the relief I had just experienced and discovered.

That morning, I again became extremely emotional, happier than I had ever been. In one moment I experienced a crystal bird flying out from behind me, and at that moment felt my obsession to drink leave me. Then, suddenly, another of these objects seemed to move out from me, and at that moment felt my obsession for drugs leave.

I have never had the obsession for either since and have continued to think about resentment along the lines of how the Step 4 instructs.

A spiritual awakening will happen when your heart is ready and you finally drop your barriers to God.

I think that working the 12 steps can assist you in getting to this point, but simply working the steps is not a guarantee. Becoming less selfish is a big part of it- by surrendering yourself to God and putting others before yourself. I do believe, however, that everyone who honestly seeks God will find Him.

I would suggest that people research this premise for themselves. My only point is that one should not come into AA expecting a quick fix.

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Flash!!! Blinding Light!!!
Ahhh, I'm fixed and cured...now that I'm back to normal, I can relax and go have a Coke at the bar.
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humility, humility, humility...during meditation which took me a good long time to figure out how to do it to benefit myself I felt a hand on the top of my head and my body filled with warmth. I would say that is a spiritual awakening. Me going to my doctor and saying I am an alcoholic and addict and don't prescribe me narcotics any longer was also a spiritual experience because doing what is right is very spiritual. It comes in all forms but if you are keeping your side of the street clean and doing some service work it is real hard not to see the miracles happen on a daily basis.

I can recommend AA for anyone interested in dropping alcohol from their lives for various reasons, one being (in my case) the fellowship of others in the same basic predicament as I. It keeps my situation in the forefront of my mind, as some say keeping it &quot;green&quot;. And the religious nature of the program tends to focus on being grateful and humble.

But with continuing research on the Bill Wilson aspect, I feel I can't rely on much of his story being true. He was a constant womanizer and thirteenth stepper of attractive young women up in and out of the program until the day his penis quit working (according to some who knew him then). Lois was, as Wayne has noted, a loving wife and was taken for granted by Bill and abused. I have very little respect for the man.

And having had some &quot;spiritual experiences&quot; of my own near Haight-Ashbury in the seventies I can imagine the combination hallucinogen therapy and the influence of Ebby Thatcher might have caused Bill to believe he saw most anything.d

This is not to say that the success rate of AA is any less than what the reliable statistics show, where ever one can find reliable statistics.

The &quot;vital spiritual experience&quot; described above sounds a lot like what use to be called faith healings. &quot;Thou foul addiction spirit...COME OOOUUUTTT!!!

Like I said, I am certain that this seems real to the one that experiences it, but I think it is too colsely related to the &quot;I'm cured&quot; plilosophy for me to take serious stock in the validity. This viewpoint seems to take a lot of the credit away from the people who stood by us during our grim existence, just because their loving hearts believed in us.

How selfish. Maude stays at Stans side through drunk-sick, blackouts, lost jobs, lost respect, lost...She forgives him for calling her every mean-spirited name in the book, for beating her up, for cheating on her, for abusing the kids, all due to his drinking. She seeks help for him through the church, through his friends and hers, though recovery programs and other medical means. She does this dutifully as a loving wife, because she believes in Stan.

One day, Stan finally wises up and starts walking a different path. One morning, he wakes up and announces to his wife that he had a &quot;spiritual experience&quot; like Bill Wilson. I am on the same level as Bill Wilson, the founding father of modern recovery techniques. Look at me, I am finally not acting like a dick anymore...good for me.

Maude looks at Stan and says, &quot;That's wonderful, dear!&quot; I knew you could do it.

Perhaps he should have at least thrown Maude a bone and said, Thank you, Dear.&quot;

Fatal Attraction-look at your hands. Study them, look at the lines and blood veins pulsing beneath your skin. Look at how your fingers individually can do so much-they are constantly moving-doing...Amazing! If looking and studying your hands does not bring you some kind of spiritual feeling, I don't know what will. Our hands are amazing, and their creation alone is divinely inspired.

Nemo and Karmic, I can relate the most to your explanations. Who am I to judge someone elses spirituality. All I can do is walk my path and help those who have fallen by the wayside and try to keep a warm and compassionate heart. RPM, you are obviously intelligent. How's that working for you? Not judging~~just wondering how your side of the street feels. Sending you all feelings from a warm heart. Oh, and I assumed that Bill was human and tempted by the things that tempt us all. Love from one alkie to another! sara

With the help of God, intelligence has saved my ass more than once in my life. I am not haughty about it, but I don't apologize for it either. You are right. I do NOT have the right to question someone else's spirituality. I am just trying to get each person to examine there own spirituality.

You are twice right in one post! That is more than I can say for a lot of my posts. Bill Wilson was a human being. An intelligent, but very real human being. I just would like to iterate that he was ONLY human. Since he jump started AA, we tend to think about and talk about him as though he is a saint. Some talk about him right along side Jesus Christ.

Many of his views and concepts were ingenious, highly perceptive approaches to alcoholism, that were founded in philosophies of his day. But, there was a number of his opinions and concepts were dead wrong or became archaic (old technology) once we advanced addiction rehabilitation.

I thank God for Bill Wilson and Doctor Bob Smith for the creation of AA. They laid the foundation of modern rehabilitation techniques. However, if we do not ever question what we understand and try to &quot;get smarter,&quot; we are destined to repeat the same mistakes forever. I think the founders of our beloved AA would agree with this statement.

The &quot;instant cure&quot; idea that I have encountered in the recovery circles has never set well with me. I have discovered (through routine exploration) that many in these communities feel as I do. They are just not as outspoken as the Big Book &quot;thumpers.&quot; What qualifies our desire to change a good thing is that &quot;Will it make it btter?&quot; That is, can we reach even more alcoholics and improve the quality of life for everyone that sufferes from alcoholism.

It's not about being right or wrong. It is about doing those things that produce better results. Period.

I've enjoyed reading the replies to this. I always wondered if I missed the 'big bang' in AA doing step 12. I remember when we were at the end, I thought, yep, okay, where's this spiritual awakening lol. And even years after had heard conflicting arguments about the AA 'spiritual awakening'. From &quot;don't worry about it, get your ass out there and help others&quot; to &quot;you shouldn't be sponsoring if you havn't had a spiritual awakening&quot; and even heard of sponsees who just say they have had a spiritual awakening to please their sponsor, but are really saying wtf mate.

My personal experience, as with most of my life, has evolved. I sure did feel the serenity and the peace, as has been mentioned, after step 4, and that peaceful feeling continued to change for the better after each step. But there was no big bang at step 12 for me. I expected it, but it didn't happen. I did have a lot of 'aha' moments and I had gained so much having journeyed the steps, and everyone around me noticed the difference and said as much, but my 'spiritual awakening' wasn't to happen until 10 years later.

My daughter was turning 14 soon, I'd just gone into remission from cancer, and I was reflecting over my past quite a bit. I'd also taken an interest in Christianity again, although still somewhat confused. One day I was sitting down the athletics track, it was cool. There were usually a couple hundred people around. I was on a bench at the side of the track, not taking much notice of anything, in nowhere land, and I suddenly felt different, like someone was with me.

Can't say whether it was warm, or cold. Sorry to disappoint, but there was no flashing bright light, but there was a definite presence, and I heard the words without even hearing a voice, 'it's okay, your going to be okay'. Hell I dont even know if this was the exact words, but this is what I felt. That I wasnt alone. Each time I've typed this, or spoken of it, I start to cry, and now is no different. At the time, my whole body felt like it had an electrical current running through it, and it was as though time had stood still. Like when your waking from a fainting spell and the head spins. Okay I sound mad lol.

I looked up and the field was empty and misty. I remember thinking where is everyone, but I just looked out to the emptiness and cried, sobbed, and I said &quot;Oh God&quot;. It was nothing I'd ever experienced before, the most deep intense feeling I've ever had. I had no pain, I had no fear, I just had tears and the realisation that I truly wasn't alone. I don't know if I was crying because I had shut God out all my life, or because I'd finally let God back in. But I cried for what seemed like a very long time.

Since that day my life has taken a few detours, so much for the better. I know that whatever I face in life, if I do the works, and have faith, trust in God, I'm going to be okay. I just know it.

Some other things happened after that day. Literally a few days later I started having flashbacks from an incident that happened when I was 14. One that I had shut out deeper than any step could raise. One that caused me to shut God out of my life completely. If you'd asked me what had happened when I was a 14yo in hospital, I would have said I was in a car accident. But this was not the case. Its what I believed all these years, probably to protect myself.

I believe God came to me at the right moment in my life, knowing that I would not have been able to cope with this any earlier. He was saying 'it is time'. And I knew when these flashbacks started to occur, that it was time. Time I got the help I needed to work through this one last secret. Knowing that I wasn't alone and staying close to God in prayer gave me the strength to do the legwork needed. I think the fact these flashbacks occurred two weeks before my own daughter was to turn 14 was no coincidence. If I didn't work through this, I may not have allowed my own daughter the space to grow. I dont know, and Im not going to try to decipher what happened, I just know it did.

Sorry this has been long, but Im happy to share what I believe to have been my Spiritual Awakening. I agree with Wayne. I encourage you all to explore and embrace your spiritual side. You never know what it will bring. I do ask you keep an open mind to all possibilities. I always thought I had, but I hadnt. I still had one door shut. But Im glad I opened it. I now know that God never left me, he was always there. I just wasnt listening. But Im grateful for the renewed relationship I have today. It will not happen as its laid down in any book. It may come close, but I believe you are way too unique to have the same experience as another.

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