@HeyThatsMyBike When I read that book, a friend snatched it out of my hands, turned to a random page maybe two or three chapters from the end, read a random line aloud ("Up to the land of the kitties!"), and kept repeating it over and over again for three days. I cannot tell you how disappointed I was to get to that point and discover that no, the phrase really is not explained.

@travelmugs "AMAZING book about our obsession with normalcy and beauty and what does a monster actually look like? A brilliant look at what family means and the lengths we'll go to for the ones we love. Also, there is a fishboy."

GUYS. This new job is turning out to be really interesting and pushes me and it's great (I got paid last Friday, hollaaaa) but MAN I miss all of you. I'm still wandering around the day's posts at night!

Also it was my birthday on Wednesday (any birthday twins out there?) and I'm going out to celebrate tonight, but I feel like it's not complete without telling the 'Pin about it.

@redheaded&crazie Mine was on wednesday! I was "over served" and ended up stroking the bartenders hair? Which I had forgotten about until my coworkers brought it up today....awesome. Never going back there again.

@Third Wave Housewife @c8te GIRL HOW OLD YOU BE? (Give me a range if you don't want to put a particular one down.) If we are for-reals twinsies/tripletsies, we are gonna have to do a parent trap type 'Pinner swap. Or something.

@everyone You are all amazing and I <3 you. And I'm not just saying that because I'm slightly more than a wee bit tipsy. (Up since 6:30am plus several beers plus general high energy due to beers=I am about 73% dead right now.) Thanks for the birthday love!

So a bunch of us ‘Pinners around on Tumblr (I’m here!) were sharing this picture/idea of coffee ice cubes in milk and discussing how to make it better (with booze, obviously. Kahlua, Bailey’s, Qream, etc.). Yesterday I used the coffee cubes with amaretto, and it was DELICIOUS. You all should try it. Next experiment will be with Jameson.

Also, can we talk about what a bummer it is that I’ll Have Another is out of the Belmont?

And completely unrelated, my niece just posted a picture of some kind of adjective game, but she used “your” instead of “you’re”. Arrrrghhh! She is in Kentucky, so I have no influence over her!

@meetapossum omg alcoholic ice cubes! I made a concoction of equal parts vodka, rum, gin, tequila and triple sec. Blended it into some strawberries and OJ and then froze in cubes. THEN added it to moscato. BEST SUMMER FRUITY DRINK EVER. It gets you hammered in a matter of seconds.

@charlesbois Well, the ice cubes themselves aren't alcoholic, just plain coffee. But they melt so slowly and deliciously into the liquor. But I will have to try out this idea of yours. Not least of all because I am pro-ice cubes in wine.

@meetapossum Truth. I also think that horses are just more delicate these days, there's more money involved, and trainers/owners would rather have a horse retire early and do well in the breeding game than risk getting hurt in a race.

@meetapossum This is slightly off topic but once some friends and I went on a hunt for alcoholic milkshakes - Kahlua, Bailey's etc. We went to White Spot and explained what we wanted to the male server, and he said "Oh, that would be like a cockshake" - (cocktail/milkshake), before getting sooo embarrassed.

So you should incorporate a blender in there somewhere is what I'm getting at.

@meetapossum Aaaaa Tumblr Pinners! I have sort of recently resuscitated my tumblr after two years and would love some new faces to follow/be followed by! so imma follow you (i'm martiniglass) and yeah that's me!

@meetapossum Anyone care to comment on the rumors that I'll Have Another really got scratched because the trainer didn't want him to go through more rigorous drug testing for the Belmont? I really don't want it to be true, but it does seem a little fishy...

@meetapossum Just post Facebook (or whatever) comments explaining the error of her ways! (That said, I tried doing that with a cousin about her use of the word "gay" as an insult and she and her sister unfriended me, so I might not be the best judge of these matters.)

@bitzyboozer ahh, i haven't heard those rumors but i feel like since they're talking about retiring the horse entirely, it's probably actually injury related. i really don't like doug o'neill, he has such a sketch history, if there's going to be a triple crown winner i wouldn't want it to be a horse being trained by him.

i'd actually be interested to hear some more opinions on horse racing in general! i've been riding for over twelve years and working in the field for about five, and i'm a big horse lover, and when i was a kid i was really into horse racing but now i kind of think it's cruel and terrible?

@charlesbois I am confused. You froze all those boozes with OJ into ice cubes? I thought alcohol didn't freeze? Please help a confused girl out, that sounds like the PERFECT drink for the cemetery movie screening picnic I"m going to tomorrow. (Any other LA 'Pinners going?)

@effystonem Well, it's more frozen alcoholic strawberries. I used some OJ and pureed strawberries. I made like a little less than a quart. If you put enough strawberries in, I think that's the key. I froze them in small, round cubes if that makes a difference. They definitely weren't super solid, but they held their shape!

@meetapossum I have many opinions of horse racing! I grew up around/with horses and had an OTT thoroughbred (he didn't get the whole run toward nothing thing). While I like watching racing, because I'll watch horses do just about anything, I think the industry need an entire overhaul. The horses are bred to be so bird like that the ones that don't make it big as racers or for breeding are useless for anything else, which means SO MANY end up being slaughtered. I hate it. I also hate the prolific drug use, and the way it's so glamorized. The industry makes my stomach churn. But I've seen equally horrible things done to horses in hunter/jumper, dressage, etc, and even just trail riding. Basically horses are way too good for people in general. We don't deserve them. Racing is just the biggest display of that, I think. But I still watch the races - I'm just a bit more jaded when I do so.

My stupid work is taking forever to give me any hours. If one more person tells me that I should "relax" and "enjoy the time off" I'M GOING TO SHANK THEM. Every day I don't work is another day I'm NOT MAKING ANY MONEY, and also I am bored out of my ever-loving skull.

Oh boy, I can't wait to go into work tomorrow and talk this over with my boss! Yaaay.

@The Lady of Shalott RIGHT? I work crappy retail, which means my hours are not actually worth much, BUT. Occasionally they decide we're not busy enough and send people home, and people are always thrilled, and I DON'T UNDERSTAND because, BILLS! UGH.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher A very old copy of Anne of Green Gables, gold bracelets my husband's great-grandparents brought from Syria when the emigrated, and a midcentury modern lamp that I got at the thrift shop and just want to know a little more about.

@Daisy Razor my family is also from syria and i and my whole family also have gold bangles! but i wear mine every day and couldn't imagine selling them, even if it was for something as awesome as antiques roadshow.

@Daisy Razor So jealous!! My dude and I are HUGE Antiques Roadshow geeks and watch it religiously! Good luck! I hope it all turns out to be super valuable or at least extremely interesting! Tell us all about it!

@Daisy Razor Eee, old Montgomery books! Good luck! I have a copy of The Story Girl from 1912-ish that I stole from my summer camp library years ago, and I've always wondered if it's worth anything. I know it's not a first printing, though, because it lists The Golden Road as its sequel in the front pages. :(

@Daisy Razor I'm also going to Antiques Roadshow tomorrow! If you see a tall goofy looking guy struggling with a red Japanese chest, it's me. By the way, I have an extra ticket if anyone needs one -- the only catch is that the entry time is 8:00AM.

@Daisy Razor I have an old Anne of Green Gables as well! I spent a semester on Prince Edward Island and bought a 1st ed. copy of Rainbow Valley as a memento. Enjoy Antiques Roadshow! My favourite episode was the one where the woman found a £250,000 Roman soldier's helmet in her attic.

I just did the Running Man next to the fax machine in a hangover-induced frenzy (I just can't quit you, Leinie Summer Shandy). Hoping that will make me feel better about the abject fuckery going on in my state's house of representatives. This is not feeling like a pleasant peninsula, y'all.

@reebs14 I just had (well, last weekend) one of those Summer Shandys and holy cats is that stuff great! I live in Texas so that bit about the state house of reps...yeah, I get that. I think that now most everyone gets it. Can I get a what-what from good ol' NC?!

Also, I am glad (yet a little sad for my country now) that everytime there is a clip on The Daily Show with some old fart on the floor of Congress flapping his/her gums and sounding like a moron it doesn't ALWAYS read (R-TX) next to the name.

@reebs14 But always just the fetuses. Once they are outside the body, well you should have thought about how you planned on feeding , clothing, and sheltering that child when you were acting like a hooor. Really, it's just the good "Christian" thing for them to do. urgh!!!

@reebs14 How many of us live in states that try to pull stupid shit like that all the time? Indiana wasn't so bad for a few years, amazingly, due in part to our moderate Republican governor not really pushing a social agenda. But then over the last two it's taken a sharp turn to the nutjob-far-right-wing side, and it's really sad. And we have a governor race and I'm really scared the socially conservative nutjob is gonna win. :( Let's make our voices heard, ladies!

@MademoiselleML My dad and I were talking about your state the other day he's in AZ so we both understand but...how is it that such a small state with so many great universities can't get the information out? I mean people thought they were keeping gay people from getting married when in reality they voted against everyone's civil union rights. That and the whole "there is no global warming" law. Again how does the GOP get people to vote against their own self preservation? I'm eyeing you Fox "News".

Okay, I haven't hawked our blog here for a while (well, except for yesterday on that one thread), so here goes: Reading In Skirts, a clothing-style adventure between two chicks in California and Illinois! (I am the not-married, not-in-grad-school one.) If you start reading, say hi! Pinners are some of my favorite people in the world, and also ever since I started blogging I have become a ruthless comments addict. COMMENTS MORE COMMENTS ALL THE COMMENTS

@Daisy Razor I looooove your geek shoes. I am trying to find a comfy pair of heels so that I can ask you to make me a pair with, like, Sandman comics or something! I am so bad at heels, though, so it may be a while.

@all I want all you blogging Pinners to know that I have most of you on my Google Reader and I'm terrible about commenting but I love Pinner Blogs! I really need to fire up a Tumblr one of these days so I can join the party.

@wharrgarbl I love it when we do this! I am @serenityfound on Twitter, serenityfound on Pinterest (say heeeey), & http://stressandbeauty.tumblr.com/, actionreaction-film.tumblr.com and dudemates.tumblr.com!

@wharrgarbl I have a, currently somewhat neglected, food blog if people like food? breadandginger.wordpress.com. And now I am going to add all the 'pin blogs to my list of required blog reading! Perhaps I will start an entirely new bookmark category for them!

If you love home decor--creating it, sharing it, ogling it, whatever-- I set up a Hairpin Decor group a little while ago. We're new and itsy-bitsy, but please feel free to join us! We've been posting our own decor as well as seeking/giving advice. If you want to have a pretty home but aren't quite there yet, or just like being able to glance in to others' homes (who doesn't???), come on over and pick our brains/ogle at our pics!

@wharrgarbl Twitter: tw_housewife
Site: http://www.thirdwavehousewife.com
Once again: if you have sexy quandaries and want to help me get my site going, AND would not mind your question and my answer published anonymously on my site, please send them to thirdwavehousewife at gmail!

I got a phantom comment from Jane Err in my email notification, but it's not here! It reminded me that I didn't put up my Goodreads or Instagram (which I just started this weekend. It contains exactly two pictures of beer and one of two male friends lying on an air mattress together): serenityfound at both (I think).

I also just opened a Facebook with my username here so the droves of 'Pinners who are clamoring to know more about me can find me there without Real Names. Search by xanthophyllippa at teh gmails and you should get me.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Your Daily Bear has brought me more joy than you will ever realize!

@wharrgarbl oh my gosh, tumblr! i am pretty constantly on it - my username is rumbustious. i post a good variety of both fandom things and pretty clothes/rooms/art. also, i am currently reading a song of ice and fire and blogging about it daily. FOLLOWING EVERYONE.

@wharrgarbl I am chronicling my efforts to update and modernize my great grandmother's dessert recipes at TheSassyTart.tumblr.com. Sadly, the Tart is on hiatus for another two weeks until my arm heals, but there's a cake recipe up! It's easy and so good with berries!

@Frisky@twitter Commenters can be a bit shy about posting, and this gets them all nice and neat in one place where everyone who's interested can creepy all the blogs and everyone who's not can scroll right on past. I'm stuckinabucket.tumblr.com, in case anyone is interested in movies, comics, and general fannishness, or owns one of the many, many tumblrs on this list and wanted to know who was following them.

Sometimes my job involves looking at photo research for specs someone else writes. Yesterday I had the nice surprise of selecting my favorite of a group of photos of "woman alone at table eating salad." Most of them were laughing.

@josiahg Sometimes I just wanna quit my job and ride the Puget Sound's ferries around during the day (when they aren't clogged with commuters)... And probably scarf some of those dope Alki Bakery chocolate chip muffins that they sell on the bigger runs too, let's be real.

Reading: The Left Hand of Darkness (again), Ursula K LeGuin.
Listening to: Back episodes of This American Life while I sew
Nomming: Coffee
Desiring: To be effing done sewing.
Looking forward to: Hitting the road! 20 hour roadtrip in T-minus five days!

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: Like Life, Lorrie Moore
Currently listening to: "Bright Whites," Kishi Bashi
Currently nomming on: just water at the moment. I just finished a delicious salad
Currently desiring: ice cream (always) and the end of the work day
Currently looking forward to: beer garden tonight and Splish Splash waterpark on Sunday!

Currently Reading: Anthony Bordain, No Reservations
Currently listening to: Whiny co-workers, but I'll be listening to Paul Simon's Graceland on my way out the door of the office
Currently nomming on: pretzel sticks
Currently desiring: For it to feel like summer, DAMMIT.
Currently looking forward to: Finishing a letter to my pen pal when I get home from work

@maybe partying will help
Reading: The Host/The Tenant of Wildfell Hall/Five Sisters, depending on what book is closest by at any given time
Listening: Alabama Shakes
Nomming: coconut greek yogurt w/ seedy granola
Desiring: Nothing?! I am officially moving into my house tomorrow, I just bought a Kindle Fire, and I've got supplies to make homemade pizza in the fridge. I want for nothing.
Looking forward to: watching a couple more eps of Alias as I finish packing tonight

How are you liking The Year of the Flood? I loved it. I love Oryx and Crake too, but compared to that, YotF was almost...cheery.

@lobsterhug

Silas Marner is great, and Daniel Deronda is amazing. I wrote a paper on Daniel Deronda and Zionism, and it was like the most fun paper ever. Also, it always gives me the giggles that in A Christmas Story, Ralphie's class is reading Silas Marner. Who teaches that to fourth-graders?

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: Red Mars, Kim Stanley Robinson (I've been reading this damn book for a month and I'm finally within 50 pages of the end!)
Currently listening to: LP, "Into the Wild" (in my head)
Currently nomming on: bell pepper burps
Currently desiring: THE WEEKEND, FUCK!
Currently looking forward to: Leaving the office. Dropping my sweet baby car off with the mechanic tonight to find out what needs to be fixed on her and how many billions of dollars it's going to cost. Sigh. Guess I'm not actually looking forward to that. :/

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: The Best of Everything (thanks Hairpin!) and a graphic novel about Lewis & Clark
Currently listening to: Oldish episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself with guest Paul F. Tompkins
Currently nomming on: Nada
Currently desiring: the will power to finish my internship project
Currently looking forward to: school being over, forever this time

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: Brothers K (again, can't stop)
Currently listening to: Johnny Cash
Currently nomming on: dried kiwi and Good Earth original tea
Currently desiring: to be home making BBQ chicken pizza and watching Bones
Currently looking forward to: homemade limoncello that will be ready to strain/bottle/freeze and the end of June!!! And drinkable on the 4th of July!! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

@maybe partying will help I am loving it! I remember being vaguely unsettled throughout Oryx and Crake, not that it made me like it any less, but not so much of that in YotF. I'm bummed right now because I had to leave off right when things are getting real...uh, realER.

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: The Dispossessed, Ursula K LeGuin
Currently listening to: tune-yards and Tu Fawning - I am stuck in the T section of my iPod.
Currently nomming on: an iced Americano that is now more of a watered-down Americano
Currently desiring: food
Currently looking forward to: Seeing my grandma and seeing Prometheus this weekend (not together, I would expect)

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading/listening: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
Noming: candied almonds
Desiring: grad school applications to do themselves but at least I have lots of time.
Looking forward to: next day off

@maybe partying will help
Yes! I was thinking about Left Hand of Darkness after I get through the other books I am kind of in the middle of. Or I might just read it instead of them because some of these books just aren't doing it for me right now. Sorry, The Rings of Saturn.

@maybe partying will help
Reading: I have "The True Meaning of Smekday" waiting at home to start, and finished "Unfamiliar Fishes" last night.
Listening: Veruca Salt station on Pandora
Nomming: Cherries
Desiring: A beer
Looking forward to: My friends and I are working on planning our summer of breakfast adventures!

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: nothing, but about to start Shadows in Bronze (Lindsey Davis) and/or Y The Last Man and/or Oryx and Crake again since it just came up
Currently listening to: Planet Money podcast (but current favorite song is Diplo's remix of Sleigh Bells' Demons)
Currently nomming on: nothing
Currently desiring: not-shitty weather
Currently looking forward to: playing Minecraft all night and seeing Prometheus tomorrow

@maybe partying will help
Reading: Faulker's The Sound and the Fury and Valley of the Dolls.
Listening: Steel drum music from the ice cream vendor in my lobby.
Nomming: Just had butter pecan ice cream!
Desiring: Holy crap get me out of these heeeeeeeeels.
Looking forward to: Holy crap get me out of DC for the weekennnnnnnd (even if the replacement is a traditional conservative Polish Catholic wedding.......)

Currently reading: Catfish and Mandala, Andrew X. Pham
Currently listening to: Van Morrison, His Band and the Street Choir
Currently nomming on: Mac & Cheese from the box and 3-in-1 instant coffee
Currently desiring: Um wow, it's hard to think of how to improve on this. Brussels spouts would be a nice addition...
Currently looking forward to: Boyfriend coming home to cook gnocchi and watching the motorcycle rally this weekend.

@adorable-eggplant Currently reading: The Autobiography of Henry VIII (thanks Nicole!)
Currently listening to: A terrible (AWESOME) mix that gets me so fired up and includes the likes of Robyn, Rihanna, Fun, Carly Rae Jepson, Nicki Minaj and Gotye
Currently eating: Working my way through a bag of Hint of Lime Tostitos. WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD?
Currently desiring: Can I say sex? Because sex. It has been WAY TOO LONG.
Currently looking forward to: unpacking my new apartment now that I am finally finished moving and finding my new go to spot on my couch now that all the pieces of the sectional have been reuinited into one giant heavenly piece of furniture.

@yrouttasight OMG I went on a Bourdain kick earlier this year that ended with me buying his cookbook which is the only cookbook I ever sat down and read from first page to last as if it was a regular book.

@terrific WIIILLLLL. He is so great. A few years ago, I saw that someone called Will Parry was running for one of the Oxford Union positions, and I was immensely excited and sort of wanted to track him down to see if he was the fictional character of my heart. I refrained.

to all the His Dark Materials fans:
If planning a re-read, consider (don't consider! just do it!) listening to the audioplay/audiobook thingy of it. It is like a full-on radio play, basically, except still using only the original text. And it is aaawesoooomesauce.

Currently reading: Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
+ Bill Bryson's book about the English language, cause I need a book small enough to carry with me everywhere I go and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is not it.

Currently listening to: Carolina Chocolate Drops

Currently nomming on: Mint black tea, water and considering that guacamole in the fridge

Currently desiring: Oh dear-lots.

Currently looking forward to: Loads of friend and family time this weekend + meeting a new puppy!

@maybe partying will help
Currently reading: Beyond the Hundredth Meridian (on John Wesley Powell, who led the first successful trip down the Colorado through the Grand Canyon, and his influence over the settling of the American West)

@Dizzy where would one acquire a graphic novel about Lewis and Clark? That sounds amazing!

I love all the Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell love on this thread. I just re-read it for the gazillionth time and it was just as good, if not better. I want her to write more stories. I think there's so much potential there, especially with all the lady magicians she alluded to. And Childermass! *call me

@maybe partying will help
Currently Reading: A Walk in the Woods
Currently listening to: Casey Donahew Band (I'm a hick)
Currently nomming on: Feta. JUST FETA.
Currently desiring: Cuter sports bras.
Currently looking forward to: MONTANA VISIT! Lakes and rivers and kyaks and tubes with the little sister and best friend! And beer with the best friend and best dad!

@maybe partying will help This is a great post, and I'm loving reading everyone's replies!

Currently reading: a book called "My Korean Deli" (by Ben Ryder Howe) that I just plucked off a shelf at the library, and it's pretty interesting!
Currently listening to: my boss on the phone (I'm at work, I don't have a recording of that or anything...)
Currently nomming on: nothing now, but my sister came and met me for lunch and we had yummy vegetarian ramen at a noodle place.
Currently desiring: peanut butter Lindt balls (I had one yesterday and I haven't stopped thinking about it)
Currently looking forward to: Seeing Overboard tomorrow night at a fun movie theater that serves beer and pizza!

Currently listening to: Tinie Tempah, Pas Out/ the sounds of New York streets.

Currently nomming on: My conference pal and I today ate-- tasty organic egg omelettes/a pastrami sandwich/ blue point oysters, cheese, really good mixed drinks, and three desserts between the two of us, although we only ate half of each.

Currently desiring: To go to the gym and run intervals. Not gonna happen- I am so. tired. from today. Also for my new orange flats to not have given me blisters, although I used it as an excuse to buy new shoes.

@maybe partying will help the first time i listened to the subtle knife on tape.... with philip pullman narrating.... oh my god, the part with the witches and Lee Scoresby.... oh my god. I was... 14? it had just come out and I had to stop the fucking cassette to sob into my pillow and I don't think I can handle the audio experience again but.... So perfect.

Lee Scoresby is still about the saddest thing I have ever read. Up there with all the stories I loved as a kid which featured animals dying. Also! What part of Sandman are you in? I love that series so much.

@Xanthophyllippa

Thank you again (you are the master of helpful links this weekend). My gent will love me forever even more if I make us damn coconut macaroon pancakes.

Beat 5 in all together. Bake in greased pan at 350 for 30-35 min. DO NOT OVERBAKE - much, much better a little moist in the middle
let stand 5 min before removing from pan
Dust with powdered sugar.
Freeze or wrap in foil - will last for days in frig (at my house there is never any left to freeze or put in the fridg)

*good also to make more 'alcoholic' by sprinkling(pouring copious amounts of) sherry on top o cooled cake and letting it soak before powder sugar on top.
*other boozes can work, sherry has best sweet taste, qream????
*did you kow you can make your own cake mix. http://www.food.com/recipe/make-your-own-cake-mix-192436

I apologize for my descent into memery! (and awkward comment timing) I figured, a lot of the time we talk about what we're reading and jamming to, and then there's talk about alcohol and yummy things to eat, so get it all out at once! As Beast Boy would say, Noted. :/

@maybe partying will help Well, imagine how it feels to start getting baby stuff IN YOUR SNAIL MAIL. I have gotten Baby Parenting magazine, because apparently I have a subscription to it, at the house I lived at like 8 years ago (when I was 19)???? And that subscription led to a ton of other baby shit. I got a can of formula. F'real.

(NB I am not: a parent, pregnant, planning on becoming pregnant, willing to keep a fetus/mass of cells should I develop one, married, or engaged.)

@olivebee My facebook ads were always really gay crap like laser hair removal or gay cruises because I'm a dude who likes dudes on facebook. I tried to game the algorithm by complaining that they were too gay and now I get bear themed ads, well played facebook algorithm.

@maybe partying will help YES! It also cuts down on the "People you may know." (You'll still get them, but not as many.)

Also, you guys! I use Chrome for Facebook and nothing else - no other browsing or web activity - and it seriously cut down on the amount of creepitude Facebook barfed out. Like, it no longer tries to tell me I should friend my realtor. I highly recommend having an entirely separate browser for FB.

@terrific
As soon as I became single, all my ads are for "Country Dating" or "Cowboy singles"
I would never use ad block. Cause for me, ad block would be blocking drool worthy abs. You there, male model in a stetson, wranglers, and boots? I'm objectifying you. Congrats.

I officially graduated, with the fancy piece of paper and the stifling robe and the rendition of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" (no, seriously), on Wednesday. I've spent the rest of this week feeling proud of my accomplishments for a change, so I came to spread that love. Yay 'Pinners! You did it! You deserve all the congratulations.

@anachronistique WHAT! Newsies is on Broadway? Please tell me they kept the same songs. I still know all the lyrics to those songs. It was pretty much the only time I thought Santa Fe would be an awesome place to live.

@i make lists IT TOTALLY IS. To my knowledge they kept the songs AND added some new ones; the most significant change is that Denton has been replaced with Katherine Plummer, Lady Reporter, and my friends who've seen it say she is pretty much the best evar. I'm going next month and I am So Excited Omg.

Ok, so I had this new idea earlier this week that I was going to switch to drinking nothing but red wine. Theoretically this was going to be better for me, because red wine is good for you and also it is enjoyable but not my favorite (I will drink myself into a stupor with Dark and Stormies or Tami-Taylor-sized glasses of white wine, just because they are so delicious).

But last night was my first expedition with this new experiment, and I didn't even drink that much but I had a distinct hangover. Extremely disproportionate to what actually happened.

Is this a bad plan? Anyone else have tactics for healthening up your drinking, while still not actually stopping drinking?

@OhMarie Drink a lot of water with your wine? And make sure you're drinking at least semi-decent red wine because the crappy crappy stuff can fuck. you. up. But I drink extraordinary amounts of red wine and haven't had a wine-based hangover in forever. Maybe you just get used to it?

@OhMarie Oh man, the worst. It has something to do with all the tannins in red wine, and it can be horrible. I think you just need to experiment with different grapes, some are more tannic than others. For instance I had this super yummy Zinfandel one and woke up nearly dead, so I guess that's a serious offender. I'm not an expert about which is which, but Cab Sauv is usually ok for me? I bet there is a list on the internets of which reds are really tannic and which are safer...

@OhMarie LOTS and LOTS of water, and yes, sadly, you may have to avoid the cheap stuff (Cab Sauv 2 buck chuck is basically like a bottled headache). This actually sounds like a great question for the Hairpin wine lady! Email her and have her tell us which red wines will be less hangover-inducing. The answer will be relevant to my interests!

And red wine hangover sufferers: If you drink good quality stuff, by which I mean wine that is made with a little bit of care (ask at your wine store - they should have good stuff in the under $10 range), you will probably be ok as long as you are not drinking a whole lot of it. Bulk wines that add sugar and preservatives will wreck you.

@everybody OH! The cheap, crappy red wine may actually be the answer. This was from the open bar at a fundraiser for a charity a friend of mine is involved with, so it was definitely from a giant tankard of something cheap. I don't even know what varietal it was, tasted like Cab Sauv I think.

I did drink water throughout the night but probably not enough--like 2 of those teeny little grenade-style water bottles plus some fountain water.

Experiment continues! Next time I will try something nice and drink allllllll of the water.

@OhMarie As @dinos said, you can still get reasonably priced stuff that's not all sugary for a reasonable price. Go to a place with somebody that knows about wine and they will probably tell you all the things about red wine that will not make you want to be dead.

@OhMarie Another possible culprit is Australian wine. Apparently Australian reds have some preservative (or more of a preservative?) in them that reds from other countries don't have, so that bottle of Yellow Tail might be more deadly for your head than similarly priced reds from elsewhere. Cheap red might be the problem, but I feel like cheap Australian red is probably worse. Also, if you think it's the tannins, try drinking rose and see if you have the same reaction- the tannins come from the grape skins, so since rose has less contact, you might not have a reaction.

On Monday I interviewed for a job, received an offer and accepted. I am so, so happy and so excited to be using my professional research background/graduate degree/BRAIN. And it is just incredibly beautiful right now in DC, reminds me of a Michigan summer day. And so many other little things, and so many good things happening for people I love. I feel bursting.

So I am looking into therapy for depression, anxiety, and eating issues (sort yourself out Sovereignann! Seriously.)But I was reading over the paperwork and did you know...DID YOU KNOW that part of the Patriot Act states that at anytime if you are under suspicion by the federal government they can access your records and notes without ever having to let you know? Granted, I'm not a terrorist but who knows when the definition of something like that could be expanded. Maybe I should add paranoia to the list above?

@sovereignann@twitter PS - someone commented on this but i don't see it anymore...maybe it is my computer. Anyway, your therapist doesn't have to put your diagnosis on your claim forms. Mine put "general anxiety" as opposed to bulimia, and I was very thankful, then and now in light of this info...

A question for the Pintariat: is anybody out there a non-religious type, but in a serious relationship with a religious type (of whatever persuasion)? Like, one whose belief you support in theory, even though reality is complicated? I am thinking seriously about starting some kind of support group.

@falconet yes. I deal with it by avoiding the subject entirely (mature, I know). We aren't married (yet), but I know he wants to raise the kids as his religion, whereas I'd like to raise them with no religion. blergh.

@falconet Yeah. I'm not religious AT ALL but have a habit of dating Catholics who make me go to church. One guy even had to tell his very, very seriously Catholic family that I was part of some weird orthodox sect because I crossed myself wrong and didn't know any of the prayers and stuff.

@travelmugs Why not? I feel like it would benefit all parties to be able to chat about the relationship challenges that come up with differing belief systems. I'm interested in how people prioritize tact and participating in worship (and non-worship) with each other.

@falconet Yeah, that's pretty much how it would happen. That and stressing about when I need to stand up, sit down, kneel so his family wouldn't be suspicious.

@travelmugs Yes, its possible. I find its not so much dependent on how you and your S/O feel about religion but how both of your parents feel. Because my dude now is a Catholic and so are his parents. I'm not religious and can't get married in a church. He knows this and is okay with it. So are his folks.

It was a problem with my ex because his mom had HUGE DIL wedding fantasies of a big poufy white dress in a church which I can't and won't do. He was also insistent on having a big Catholic wedding which I was absolutely not interested in.

It also depends on how you want to raise your kids, if you can agree on that stuff you're good!

@falconet For me, if Mr. Sour really wants to go to Church (or we're with his very devout family - like, a cousin is an Archbishop levels of devout) I agree to go. I follow along as best I can to be polite (I jokingly call Catholic Mass "Stand up, sit down, fight, fight fight!") As a non-Catholic, I just stay seated during Communion. The whole thing is super uncomfortable for me, but I figure a handful of times a year isn't worth the arguments. Mr. Sour doesn't really agree with many of the Church's teachings, but greatly values his faith, so we've also discussed moving towards Episcopalian, since some of the issues with Catholicism seem lessened there.

We're still trying to hash out what we'll do if we eventually have kids. Mr. Sour really wants our possible future children to grow up with some level of faith and wants to go the Baptism route. I'm happily non-religious and don't feel faith is an integral part of growing up. What we'll probably do for our hypothetical children is do the Baptism thing just to smooth things over with family, and then maybe go the UU route? If Mr. Sour wants our future kids to have faith, I want them to be able to come to that faith on their own terms rather than have it be forced upon them. So it's tricky.

@WhiskeySour Agreed. There's the whole argument that if you don't provide any religious direction to kids, then they'll tend to reject it altogether (I am a shining example of this). Ergo, my kid got the full dunking, poor angry baby.

I also attend church now & then with Mr. F. out of politeness & a desire to be supportive, but I sometimes feel resentful of this. Like, if I actually belonged to another faith tradition, would I be more justified in not going, as opposed to staying secularly home in my pajamas reading a novel? I'm not a hardcore skeptic or anything, and while I don't feel like I'm lacking something by not subscribing to a belief system, it's a position that's hard to defend. On the surface it doesn't appear to cost me much to go to church, but that's not strictly true.

@falconet My dude grew up religious, and his family is still hardcore Orthodox. It creates a weird tension, because they're happy that I'm at all religious (I'm part of an Anabaptist tradition, so lightyears away from Orthodox). It feels like they try to secretly conspire with me to make him church-ier, which is really uncomfortable because I'm not looking to change him.

@falconet I've never heard that argument, and I don't believe it's true ... my sister and I got the full Catholic treatment -- we even attended Catholic elementary and high school -- and now we're both as areligious as they come. Same is true, by the way, for most of the kids I went to school with (I am still in touch with many of them, and most do not consider themselves religious). Maybe children are more likely to turn out faithful if they're raised that way, but there's no guarantee that they won't reject religion anyway once they're adults.

@falconet I feel that if you really don't want to go, then don't. Easier said than done, of course. As I said above, I go out of politeness, but it's only a few times a year, and in total I probably spend more total time spacing out and eating Pretzel M&Ms each year than I do in Church. But if my dude wanted to go to church more often than that, I would probably opt out. I'd probably pull out the old "I have other priorities right now." Even if that is just PJs and a good book (not The Good Book.) I feel that if I've respected and given my time, I'm owed the same respect. And your not going does not preclude him from doing so. It is really hard, though.

@falconet Yup, I'm in a mixed faith relationship too, but my bf is buddhist, and it's mostly a family/cultural thing for him and so there's basically no conflict. Plus, his brother married a catholic person and his family was totally fine with that, whereas my mother would have a fit if it were me because she hates the catholic church (her mother's mother died of a botched attempt at a secret abortion, which happened despite the fact that there was a doctor who would've been willing to preform the operation, and she went to a pretty horrific catholic school, so hate might not even be a strong enough word). My mom made an effort to be episcopalian when I was little, in order to expose me to religion, but my dad mostly stayed at home in his pj's, except when it was time to sing christmas carols which he loved despite being a total agnostic-y dude. Looking back, I think it was great for me to have the example of two folks who respected each other's mode of churchiness/non-churchiness. I've always felt really comfortable in my skin (as an atheist) because I knew it would be ok to say, "You know what, I don't believe this stuff, so I'd rather stay home in my pj's too." It didn't have to be a struggle. And my mom just kept on going to church on her own, because it was a community she really connected to, and that was cool too.

@ReginaSavage It's been a long time since I went to Mass with my dad's family, and this could be regional, but I actually remember it as being very open-ended, devout but relaxed about form -- much more so than the Protestant services on my mother's side. People could come in early or late, depending on what they needed, as long as they were quiet, and most people stood or sat at the same time but plenty of people sat the whole time, especially if they had any kind of health issue (many were elderly), or they kneeled the whole time, for their own personal reasons that they didn't have to explain. The point was the spirit, not the outward signs.

I'm sort of confused why your ex's family would have put to much pressure on you moving in lockstep like that, when you weren't Catholic yourself? (Unless he talked you into pretending that you were?)

@ReginaSavage Catholic-ish-not-really-kinda-whatever here. If you're not Catholic and you don't go to communion... no one notices. Promise. Or if they notice, they don't care. Non-Catholic people go to mass all the time, and whatever. It's cool. I (used to) like liturgy (I am Having Some Issues lately), and by that point in the mass, even I and people like me are usually making grocery lists. 45 min in to 60 min is a long time for anyone to pay attention to anything, I think.

ANYWAY. When I go to services where I am not a believer, (or these days Mass in any but the liberalest churches), I just Play Anthropologist. You know "what's going on here culture speaking-wise? What does that symbol mean? Why is the missal organized that way? Who are these people? Are there physical tells that indicate when stand-up or kneel-down time comes along? Do people make eye contact? Are they pissed off with or agreeing with the sermon?"

Also, "stand up sit down fight fight fight" IS THE BEST EVER EVER EVER and now I am going to use it.

@PistolPackinMama I do the same--I from a family of Hardcore Catholics, but I realized pretty early on that I wasn't into it and haven't gone to church regularly since my parents stopped making me (so, since I was 18/10 years). I went to Midnight Mass a few Christmases ago because my mom's in the choir, and if you distance yourself a bit, it's fascinating.

Especially Midnight Mass--it is the craziest of the cray. They really pull out all the stops, stinking up the joint with swingy incense and all.

Has anyone here ever just decided to get a job in another country? I'm thinking about working in Cape Town for a few years, but it's so far to travel that I'm afraid I'll head down and then not find a job. And then I won't have a job back home, either!

@Roxanne Rholes Yes! I have! I went to Ecuador to teach business English. I didn't even speak Spanish and had never been out of the US except a few family trips to Canada. It was a great experience and a great challenge. I'm so glad I went, and everything worked out for me job-wise. I totally feel your reservations, though. But I think people who have worked abroad (if Cape Town is abroad for you) tend to impress employers.

I'm at work right now, but I'll be back later to share more and direct you to my blog if you're interested. If you're okay giving out your email, I'll email you if you want.

@Roxanne Rholes Yes! I'm coming to the end of my first year working in Germany at the moment (also teaching English) and it's the best decision I ever made in my entire life. DO IT DO IT DO IT. Although I had a job lined up before I came out here, so I didn't have that stress. HOWEVER in a couple of months I'm moving to Prague where I do not have a job and I'm not planning to start the search until I get there. It's a bit scary, but seriously. Go abroad. It's the best.

@whateverlolawants I would love to check out your blog, and message you from there! I lived in Cape Town for six months in college, and it is very abroad - I live in New England- and very beautiful! I'm super excited about the idea, but I'm 26 and I have a good job, so I'm worried that if I end up with a crappy job I'll be committing career suicide.

@Roxanne Rholes Me too - South America. I've been here 3 years. I'm not going to lie, the first 9 months were tough and I was unemployed (in my previous life, I had been an attorney in NYC, so I did leave a good job). But I started making friends and connections and found a job then changed that one for another one and here I am! For once, I actually like my job. And I agree with the above commenters that the travel and working abroad experience is an asset on your CV if you spin it right.

@whateverlolawants Ooooh, Venezuela! That's on the "before I leave South America" list. I'm in Chile. Report back on Venezuela if you go! I've been to Argentina, Uruguay and all over Chile. Venezuela, Brazil, Peru & Colombia are high on the list.

@Kulojam Chile sounds great, as do the other countries you've been to. I almost went to Uruguay and Argentina, but it was a bit more than I wanted to spend. I also almost went to Colombia for a long weekend, which would have been cheap, but I ended up with so much I wanted to do in Ecuador that I never went. I highly recommend Ecuador if you make it over to Peru and Colombia. I can't compare it to any other South American countries, not having been to them, but most of the Couchsurfers I met spoke of Ecuador very highly. And I had a fantastic time there and miss it a lot.

@Kulojam I really want to go to the Galapagos next time I go! Once you're in Quito, there are "bargain" trips for $500-1000 for several days. I don't remember the details, but I knew people who did them and really enjoyed it. A friend of mine went with a group in college, too, and had such a good time that when I found a job in Ecuador and didn't know much about the country, I felt great solely because he had such a nice time. (Sorry, that was sort of a mangled sentence.)

I didn't really have a career when I left the US, but I did have a part-time job that took me back when I returned, and now I work there full-time. So that was nice. I had only been out of college about a year when I decided to go, and it took about nine months for me to take a TEFL course, find a job, and wait until they wanted me there. I also got sick during that time, which prolonged the wait- it doesn't have to take that long.

Of course I don't know your situation, but perhaps with some research before you go, and by talking to people in the town you are now (if you'd want to return there at some point) about what you want, you could end up with a great job there and have some confidence that if you came back to New England, people would want to hire you or help you find a job. I hope so, anyway! I want everyone to follow their dreams and be glad they did. Rainbows and unicorns!

@terrific Fill your pocket up with glitter before you go into your next meeting with your boss and right at the beginning of it throw glitter in his or her face and yell "I'M OUT!" And then leave that horrible place forever.

@olivebee I am job-hunting, but it's so difficult — it's such an insider-y industry, and I don't know too many people yet. And now I'm kind of thinking the industry (to be vague, NYC publishing) is not really my alley and maybe I want to do non-profit stuff, but I don't know where to start. And every time I start looking or thinking about applying to the jobs I've starred, I panic.

@atipofthehat
It was... long. boyofdestiny and I made it 20 miles, and I had to drag him for the last 6.
But it was fun and the weather was pretty good for it, although I was kind of left wishing I had gone the whole way so I could say I walked the entire perimeter - maybe next time.
Hope you enjoyed/are enjoying your mountaintop!

Thanks to Nicole, I'm currently reading American Wife, and I really need to know more! Why does Curtis Sittenfield think she knows so much about the Bushes? Is it mostly made up? Why so much talk about how it's Laura Bush, when the bio details are so different? I mean, does that mean it's that much more emotionally true?

Anyway, I'm enjoying reading it quite a bit, except when I think about George Bush's penis.

@Lily Rowan I think there is an afterward or something where Curtis talks about all the research she did and how she came up with it. I think. I read it last year and really enjoyed it, except for when it made me think about the actual Bushes, because, yeah, his penis, just no.

I tried to think of it as fiction more than anything and a kind of what Laura Bush's interior life might look like.

@Lily Rowan Two nights ago I dreamed that I was at some kind of inauguration or celebration, and I was in a small room listening to Laura Bush give a speech. She said something in her speech about giving speeches, and I yelled, "Speeches is hard!", essentially making fun of her husband's image. Then I realized how horrible I was to yell at her and apologized immediately. I apologized again afterwards and she was nice to me. She walked around with me for a while and I decided she was actually a very nice person.

@VolcanoMouse try forcing yourself to get up at a normal/early time in the morning. The earlier the better. I mean, not at 4 am or anything, but 7 is better than 9. That way you will be exhausted at a normal time and will probably be able to get to sleep. And then, obviously repeat until it becomes natural again.
And try to have at least a few things you always do in the same order before you go to bed so that your brain is like, "oh, we're brushing our teeth and washing our face and putting on our pajamas...it must be time to go to sleep soon."

@all Thanks for the suggestions! Y'all suggested so many movies I already love (The Birdcage, Away We Go, The Incredibles) but it looks like Waking Ned Devine is definitely going on my list! I'm sure I've seen it, but it's been years ago at this point.

@WhiskeySour yesss to stranger than fiction and moonstruck. but my all time favorite lighthearted movie is an 80s Ang Lee film (in Mandarin), Eat Drink Man Woman. SO GOOD. Have snacks handy though, it'll make you hungry!

Someone recommend me a hairbrush that doesn't suck. My poor brush is on its last legs. I need something sturdy with bristles that aren't spaced too far apart and won't come out in my hair on the first brush after I wash my hair. Said hair is very wavy and thick. HELP, my brush isn't going to make it another week. :(

@camanda I love Mason Pearson brushes (or any natural bristle brush), but omg are they expensive. Currently I have a goody ouchless brush, which lives up to its name. I also have the goody paddle brush with microfibers, which soaks up a ton of water for a quick brush right when you get out of the shower.

@Gone Away Lass If I washed my hair in the morning before work, it'd solve the problem, but I don't -- I wash it at night a couple of hours before I go to bed. I let it air-dry and it takes about four hours.

My current brush looks like this and is also a Vidal Sassoon, but the bristles are nylon and the cushion is pink. I've had it for a good ten years. I have a knockoff that will last me if indeed this one does break before I can replace it, but the head won't stay on the handle of that one. [facepalm]

@camanda I agree about the comb! You shouldn't use a brush on wet hair because it causes breakage. I have thick wavy hair also and what I do is brush my dry hair before getting the shower and comb my hair out after I towel dry with a wide tooth comb. The brush is a natural bristle one from Sephora (the detangling one, I think?) and I like it a lot.

@Punk-assBookJockey Oh, I guess I wasn't clear -- I don't brush my hair when it's wet. Ever. It air-dries and then it is like THE CURLIEST THING IN THE WORLD and that's what I have a hard time brushing. I should probably start combing it after I shower but blech and then I sleep on it and it's a mess in the morning anyway.

@camanda feel free to be like DUH at this suggestion, but do you brush it from the tips up? Um, not in the sense that the brush strokes go upwards, but that you start a few inches from the bottom to get the knots out and then gradually work your way upwards until you can pull the brush from the top to the bottom easily? (this is not a complicated idea but is apparently hard to explain in a not confusing way)
If I try to brush my hair directly starting at the roots it generally ties itself into knots which are then nigh impossible to eliminate.
Anyway, even some hairdressers don't seem to know this trick, so I thought I'd just throw it out there.

@camanda You have my hair! I solved this problem by not brushing it at all and letting it do its own large, wavy thang. It's happier and I'm cuter. I condition often enough that it doesn't get tangled, and every three weeks or so I very slowly go through it with a wide-toothed comb.

@Punk-assBookJockey ugh I always comb my hair out in the shower and then comb it out again once i get out AND when I was at the hair salon the other day, the assistant girl took out a brush and started roughly brushing my tangled wet hair and UGH I wanted to be like BITCH PLEASE LET ME DO THAT YOU ARE DOING IT ALLLLL WRONG (like not even starting from the bottom? just grabbing a hank of hair and raking at it!!!!!!) but ugh, i am not good at confronting strangers. so i just let her rip it to shreds.

@charlesbois I got a Mason Pearson knockoff at a beauty supply store that has natural bristles that I like. They generally have huge selections at reasonable prices.
I've never tried a true Mason Pearson though, so who knows how good it really is.
I don't have the hair type in question, but I use the natural bristle brush pre-shower and a wide tooth comb post, then never do anything besides maybe some finger-raking until the next wash.

@redheaded&crazie UGH! That is awful. I am not too confrontational but I probably would have like, pretended it was really painful (even though I am not tenderheaded) and asked her to use a comb instead, for that reason not because she was doing it wrong. I hate confronting hair stylists and service-people like that! Even though I have NO problem confronting sales people.

@NeverOddOrEven @NeverOddOrEven I haven't ever owned a Mason Pearson, either. I had a couple natural bristle brushes that were wooonderful, but the bristles always end up breaking around the perimeter after a while. When I had thicker hair (never get older, seriously), I used a pick to get the tangles out.

I'm totally checking out a beauty supply place this weekend. Hello new brush and manicure q-tips!

@camanda I thought you weren't supposed to brush curly hair? My hair is wavy so I treat it different ways depending on how I'm going to style it, but most people I know with actual curly hair detangle in the shower (fingers or comb) and that's it. I have heard brushes aren't good for curly hair.

But you know....I do not actually have curly hair, I may not have any idea what I'm talking about here.

@KeLynn I have very curly hair, though it's not that thick, there's just lots of it. Before I knew how to take care of it, I brushed it and it was a poofy mess; now I just brush the top if I'm putting my hair back on a non-shower day.

But if you are going to buy a brush, Mason Pearson brushes really are worth the money. My mother does not like to spend money on things, but she's owned three of them. One was lost when I was little, and the other two she's had for probably my entire life and they're still going strong. They're the only brushes I've ever used on my tangly hair that didn't immediately get stuck and hurt.

(FWIW, I shower in the morning and comb in the shower to get knots out and after the shower to separate the curls/style, then gel/cream it, then air dry.)

soooooo I had my Institution Of Boundaries talk last Friday evening! It went well from my end, although crushboy seemed confused and did a reasonable amount of gaslighting ("I'm not too physical with you! You're too physical with me!" and "I act this way with everyone!" and "Well now that I know that you have a sensitivity about this ...") (responses: "I don't have a problem with being physical, but you keep being strangely physically intimate. I do not rest my hand on the small of a person's back or on their thigh unless I want, at some point in the future, to see them without pants." and "Really? Because we hang out in groups a lot and I've *never* seen you act this way with anyone else." and "This is not an issue of me being sensitive. This is an issue of you acting in a way that, if I had a partner, would make me uncomfortable.") (And I don't even drink!).

Anyway I feel like 50 pounds lighter and am thrilled, and felt all excited about being his friend in a way I hadn't for months! I really had to psyche myself up for The Talk but once it was going, it felt right! Two thumbs up, would confront this issue again, A+++++++.

I will see him again tonight and probably tomorrow with our friends, so I'm interested to see how that goes.

This weekend I am excited to make my first round of apricot jam for the summer, and (if I can salvage enough peaches/nectarines) make Nicole's mom's pie. SO AWESOME.

@stonefruit OH AND ALSO! Last night I had my first laser hair removal visit: it was totally anticlimactic. I'm going for the underarm hair removal, and the place I went to uses some kind of laser where it just feels like they are pinching your skin? Not a clue as to what was going on there, but it was really a lot less painful than waxing, like to the point where I hesitate to compare them? Two thumbs up to that, too.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher FYI, I gather this option is supposed to be rather absurdly expensive, but I got a Living Social coupon for a medspa where the doctors are board-certified dermatologists for a third of the regular price, so it was manageable. You probably already knew about the price thing? But definitely check your local bargain sites to get a good intro price.

I was saving this for the Bargain Bin, but maybe I'll just put it here in case that doesn't happen (BARGAIN BINNNN).

Maybe y'all have heard of it and I'm the last dude on the boat, but Charming Charlie, you guys! Cute, bright, cheap jewelry and accessories, and they have both online shopping and stores in lots of places! The closest one to me is in Modesto, which is a little far away just for a trip to an accessories store, but seriously. When I sort everything by "orange," I want it all! All of it! Every single thing.

@frigwiggin My boyfriend's mom LOOOOOVES Charming Charlie. She buys me stuff from there all the time. The last time we visited her, she took me to the actual store and I just spent an hour looking at shiny things that were SO SHINY.

@frigwiggin Oooohhhh CHARMING CHARLIE! I have yet to visit one, but there is going to be one in my local shopping center (Wegman's!) and I can. NOT. WAIT!!!! My sisters have been and said it stressed them out to no end, but when I asked how the store was organized and they said it was by color, I was all, "DUH-DOY! WHY WOULDN'T IT BE." That makes perfect sense to me, and is also how my wall of cardigans is organized.

I love love looooove cheap jewelry- at least, earrings and plastic bangles, since I am deathly allergic to all the metals.

@frigwiggin Ooh, I hadn't heard of it! I've been kind of a frumpy/andronynous dresser for several years now and I'm trying to start being more stylish. I've got a ton of accessories but they're all at least 15 years old. Thanks for bring it to my attention!

I also have a "not-quite-OCD, not-quite-synesthetic but still color-oriented brain". Having only just been introduced to Charming Charlie via this thread, I was very excited to see that they organize by color! I'm not a big fashion/accessories person these days (though I've been recently inspired to change that), I would LOVE to visit a store that was organized this way even if I weren't intending to buy anything. There's a huge thrift store near where I live that organizes clothes by color, and it makes me so happy inside.

@New Hoarder Where is the one you're talking about that they're building near a Wegmans? There's a Wegmans near me in Cherry Hill, NJ. A Charming Charlie would definitely do well there. There's one sort of near me but not convenient enough to just drop by without making a special trip.

My boss continually pronounces d's as t's. So "hundred" becomes "hundret" and "second" becomes "secont". Both that and his face make me stabby.

Also, I've been having problems commenting on The Awl and The Billfold this week. We MUST use IE at work, so I'm sure that's the problem but it would be REALLY nice if sign-in capabilities through IE were restored at the rest of The Awl network. Also, if this happens here and I can no longer comment at The Hairpin, I just might have to end it all.

@Reginal T. Squirge A co-worker of mine has problems with 'm's and 'n's, so sometimes she says 'Print Screen' and it sounds like 'Prim Scream' and its HILLARIOUS! A year and a half of working with her and I still giggle about it sometimes.

@Reginal T. Squirge
My husband has an intern who once said that she had just "clint" a counter top. As in cleaned.
He also got everyone on board with continuing to ask "What?" when she says "Ax a question" until she gets it and says "ask"

@NeverOddOrEven Ok, so if we're going to be all persnickety and stuff, saying "Ax" a question is not poor grammar. It might be considered poor pronunciation. The same thing with "clint" the countertop.
Don't get me wrong, I think almost everyone has something that just irks them about other people. I get super irrationally irritated by people with lisps and hate when literally is used to mean figuratively. But having a regional or "lower-class" pronunciation doesn't necessarily make someone poorly educated or wrong. They just say the word differently than you do.

@ormaisonogrande
Well, pronunciation is a part of grammar as a whole. I get dialects and all that, but I guess I personally just draw a line when the word is morphed into a completely different word (particularly, as in ax, when that word has it's own meaning). I'd say that's when it ceases to be an accent and becomes incorrect.

@KeLynn Torlet, lol. I am only worried about the people who don't even hear themselves do it. I say "measure" in a way that is apparently odd but I can barely hear, so I probably shouldn't have raised the issue. :D

@NeverOddOrEven Someone from NYC might pronounce "porn" like "pawn", but it's still an accent and not incorrect even though it sounds like a different word to our ears. I think "ax" is different, because it's not an accent in the sense that letters are pronounced differently in different regions, it's a reversal of the sounds in the word—a sort of verbal dyslexia. You wouldn't call "pisghetti" an accent, that's just a mispronunciation of "spaghetti". I don't know what exactly constitutes a dialect, but maybe "ax" counts because it's a common mispronunciation among a significant segment of the population.

@Rookie AAH my last boyfriend did that! He said "mElk" and "pEllow". It drove me crazy! You are not alone. ;)

I'm sure I say some things in ways that annoy other people too. I can't remember what it is, but there's one word in particular that I KNOW I say wrong and I want to say it correctly but it's just so ingrained in me that I just can't change it.

@jen325 Argh! My ex used to pronounce 'Caramel' without the second 'a' so it was Carmel. I had to correct him because it drove me up the wall! He actually thought carmel was a thing like caramel and I had to tell him that he's stupid.

Also, people who say 'ruff' instead of 'roof' or gare-age instead of garage. Unfortunately my list linguistic things that irritate the fuck out of me is way too long...

@ReginaSavage
Oooh, them's fighting words.
I think most of those speak to regional dialect. I hear "carmel" far more often than "care-a-mel", and "ruff" v "roof" is a draw - they're both accepted pronounciations. Just like "creek" v "crick" and "rutt" v "root"

@ReginaSavage @NeverOddOrEven It could be argued that "carmel" is just a lazy pronunciation, like the way people say "probly" or "comftable". If you pronounce the first syllable like "car" and slur it together, it sounds like "carmel".

I've never heard another American say "gare-age", but it's a British pronunciation so I guess it wouldn't bother me if I did hear someone say it; I'd just think it was a little weird.

@jen325 Ok, but this is kind of the problem I have with the whole notion of correcting others' pronounciations - there are places where "carmel" is the "normal" way to pronounce that word, and other places where "care-a-mel" is the "normal" way. Spending time arguing that one is "right" and another is "wrong" just kind of makes you (I mean "you" in general, not "you" in particular) look parochial. I mean, go live in a place other than the one you were born and raised in for a while, and all of a sudden you will be the one with the "weird" and "wrong" pronounciations. And once you have that experience, it's kind of like, "oh, people have different regional accents, ok." I've just been on the receiving end of people arguing that their esoteric regional accent is THE RIGHT ACCENT and people with different accents are WRONG more times than I feel happy about, so this is kind of a sensitive issue for me I guess.

@jen325 I'm Canadian, so yeah we always err on the more British side of things.

@WaityKatie I understand what you're getting at with this and yes its more my own particular dislike of that particular pronounciation than anything else. In the particular example I gave it was more to do with thinking that 'caramel' and 'carmel' are two completely different things, that was more what I was correcting, but the way he said it drove me crazy!

Anyway, I'm more than well aware of regional dialects and their differences. I was raised in English speaking Ontario, then when I was 4 moved to a very French part of Quebec. I had my first years of school there and was taught entirely in French until I was 10. Then my parents moved back to Ontario and I was suddenly 'the weird kid with the accent'. So believe me, I know.

@WaityKatie I do have preferences of course, but I don't think accents are right or wrong. There are some pronunciations in my local regional accent that I just Do Not Like, so I don't pronounce them that way (e.g. the example in the next paragraph). It's not because I think they're wrong so much as it is because I just don't like the way they sound.

What I wonder about is this: where is the line between accent and mispronunciation? The difference between "ruff" and "roof" is merely a difference between the way people in certain regions pronounce their vowels. But sometimes words are pronounced in a way that is completely different than how it's spelled, a way that seems beyond just the way you pronounce the letters/sounds. For instance, a lot of people pronounce "comfortable" as "comf-ter-ble". It's not a different pronunciation of the sounds in the word, but a reversal of sounds. It seems to me that that would be a mispronunciation and not an accent, but I'm not a linguist so I could be wrong.

@NeverOddOrEven : Yup. Because the word comes from "Don Quixote", which is written in Spanish by a Spanish author, ergo, it behooves us to pronounce "Quixotic" in something akin to the original language in which it was spoken.

@jen325 : Funny thing, there. I actually had a big argument with a friend of mine over this pronunciation--she knows what it means, uses it, AND SPEAKS SPANISH, but she insists that pronouncing it KEY-ho-tik reeks of snobbery. She says it should be "KWIK-zaw-tik".

There's a town in South Jersey called Buena Vista, and everyone pronounces it "BYOO-na". Drives me crazy. And the street on which my dad grew up is called DuBois Avenue, but everyone pronounces it "DOO-boyce". I pronounce it wrong because everyone else does, and it feels so pretentious to pronounce it correctly. But it bugged me even as a kid because Robert Guillaume taught me the correct pronunciation .

I mean, if you're trying to pronounce something that comes from a tonal language (hollah, Mandarin), I can understand just kinda giving up, but anything else? Pronounce it like you would in its original language!

@OxfordComma Yeah, that's generally what I try to do. I actually make a judgement call with each word, because sometimes pronouncing a word in its original language comes off sounding pretentious. Sometimes I alter my speech depending on who's listening.

But I cannot say "gilla-teen" for the life of me. While I'd seen guillotines before, I first learned the name of them in French class so the original pronunciation is the only one that sounds right to me (nevermind the fact that it's technically right).

@OxfordComma
That's the worst; knowing the right way but using the wrong because otherwise everyone looks at you like a pretentious dick. I got that as a child a lot because my mom was a stickler about "com-fort-a-ble".

So in my hometown there's a Xeon Street. And everyone says "Ex-eon", I think because no one knew how else it could be said. But it's probably "Zee-on", right?

@NeverOddOrEven Several years back, I made a concerted effort to start saying "com-fort-a-ble", and except for my last boyfriend nobody has batted an eye. He used to make fun of me for saying it that way, but at least he said "comf-ta-ble" and not "comf-ter-ble". But this is the same guy who drank "melk" and slept on a "pellow".

I've been teased by some for my pronunciation of "radiator". I originally learned it to rhyme with "gladiator" and never thought anything of it until someone made fun of me. Then I realized that if the root is "radiate" then I should pronounce the "rad-" the same way in "radiator". I want to change but it's embedded in my brain that way!

@OxfordComma I so disagree. My policy is usually to pronounce place names the way the locals pronounce it. Because otherwise, you're just sounding like a tool. Same thing with pronouncing foreign words with their authentic foreign pronounciation when you're having an English language conversation. Don't do it! Danger ahead!

@OxfordComma Ok, but knowing something and needing everyone to know that you know something, are two different things. Also in many cases there is no "right" pronounciation, like for example, I lived in Lancaster, PA for a while. Natives pronounce it "Lank-ester." Outsiders invariably pronounce it Lang-caster. Neither one is more technically "correct" than the other, but everyone's going to know you're not from there if you say it the "outsider" way. Or, I mean, if WEB DuBois wants to pronounce his name Du-Boyz, I'm not going to go dig him up and yell that it's "Du-Bois! It's French! I know things!" It's his name, y'know? He can say it however he wants.

@WaityKatie : Proper names can be pronounced however the crap the person in question wants to pronounce his or her name. For sure.

(Also, I wasn't talking about place names--I was talking about an adjective that came from a Spanish name, written by a Spanish writer. Place names and proper names get fuzzy around the edges, as they should.)

@jen325 A suburb of Indianapolis is Carmel (and I know there's one in NY and probably other states too), and I wonder if that's why most of us around here pronounce "caramel" as "carmel". It sounds a little odd to me to say the a, although I don't give it much thought one way or the other.

@jen325 Also, like everyone else around here, I used to just say this Mexican restaurant's name as "El Rodeo", like how people talk about a cattle-roping and riding show. But after I learned Spanish, I started wanting to pronounce it the Spanish way, as many people pronounce Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. I go back and forth now. It's a borrowed word in the English language, but it's used in a Spanish context... eek!

@WaityKatie I say Lancaster! I never bothered to find out which pronunciation is correct; I just prefer the way LANK-ester sounds. I've got Acme Markets to thank for that though. I grew up hearing advertisements for Lancaster brand meats, so I pronounced it the way they did.

@whateverlolawants It totally is. But there's more than one location, or perhaps more than one sign. The other, not-so-charming one is the one that sticks in my mind: a big, flat, black-on-yellow sign with the Eiffel Tower on it.

I'll start. Mine's not about Billy at all. When we were 15 my friends saw James and D'arcy at the market and so, natch, they asked James for his autograph - for meeee. He signed "James Pumpkin" in the most I'm-so-high-right-now-on-a-Sunday-afternoon-in-nowheresville-Canada scrawl. I still have it. Oh that it were Billy.

@SurpriseEnding
Oh, shit! I just remembered the time I could have met him at his book signing but was ridiculously sick and couldn't go.
My friend and former 'Pumkin lover went and got one signed for me. He sat on that shit for over a year before showing up randomly to give it to me on my birthday (we had fallen out of touch.)

The story was great though - I can't remember all the details but it went something along the lines of it being announced that you could only get one thing signed, and when my friend got to him just kept handing over books and saying, "And this one's for..."
Billy was cool about it, said something smart-ass, Friend said something smart-ass back, mutual respect was given, they shook hands and that was that.

Happy Friday, pinners! Let me tell you about my recent IUD insertion, because it was truly not so bad, and if you have fears perhaps I can assuage them. The worst part was the anticipation. I was super-nervous, having read and heard some horror stories, and if I hadn’t already purchased the device I might have changed my mind on the way to the doctor’s office. But my gyn was upbeat and friendly and let me listen to my iPod during the insertion, which was helpful, although when things got real no amount of Francoise Hardy was going to distract me from the feeling of having my nulliparous cervix opened. It hurt a little while prep work occurred, then it hurt a lot, and in a strange way, for about a minute and a half, and then it was done. I put on one of those adhesive heating pads (I had taken 2 Aleve and 2 Tylenol an hour before) and drove myself home with some moderate “cramps” which felt uncannily like my uterus and cervix remembering what just happened and shuddering in relief that it was over. Took a hot bath, watched The Queen on Hulu (recommend: I stiffened my upper lip along with Helen Mirren and thought a lot about womanly strength), and about six hours later was well enough to go out to dinner and celebrate my victory over the health care system/not having to think about birth control for another 10 years.

YMMV, of course, and I don’t mean to invalidate the painful experiences others have had, but for me it was very uncomfortable, but at no point intolerable.

@miss olsen Yay IUDs! 20 times more effective! I'm 2.5 years along on mine and love it! I was one of the unlucky ones that had cramps for 3 months, but now I'm great! practically no periods too. Congrats!

@miss olsen I agree. It felt like a miscarriage after, but overall a small price to pay for highly effective & cheap (mine cost me $60 including the visit, because health insurance) multi-year bc. I may have cut off Mr. Julia's circulation in his arm during insertion, but he seems to have recovered.

I got Paragard, and yes my periods are heavier (rarely had a period on the pill) but my migraines are almost nil and not as intense, and other positives like umm amount of time it takes until I am sufficiently aroused is greatly reduced from when I was on hormonal bc.

@The Lady of Shalott Paraguard. My main motivation was ditching the hormones. I've had side effects with the various hormonal BCs I've tried. Livable side effects, to be sure, but I figured why bother if there was another more effective option?

@miss olsen I got a Mirena IUD a month ago! It hurt more than I expected, but was definitely bearable. I did not like passing what looked and felt like my entire uterine lining a few days after and basically feeling like I was getting my period again for the first time because it did not behave at all how I'm used to. Since then it's been a breeze. A little spotting and occasional cramping. Definitely worth the $20 copay.

@miss olsen Ahh thank you! I am getting one inserted soon, and while I know it's absolutely what I want to do, I'm nervous. Though I'm sure the anticipation will be the worst part. And I'm also sure I'll cut off blood circulation in my boyfriend's hand.

@miss olsen Can we talk money? How did it work out for everyone else, dollars-wise? I would love love love to get one but my insurance does NOT pay for “birth control devices” and it seems so expensive. I can afford it, I just, I am kind of cheap about stuff? It just seems like a lot of money to pay without discussing it with everyone. You should have seen me when I was buying a gym membership, or how incredibly salty I was (am?) about the $200 I was charged to have someone look at my strep throat.

I do not get paid well, and I could hope for a sliding-scale thing, but that is a bit of a crapshoot? I don’t have a regular gyno…should I try and get one? Or stick with PP, they could do it, but whenever I go there I never know how much it is going to be until after, and I didn’t really love the lady who would do it. But she would be fine.

@miss olsen Thanks for this! I go to get my Paraguard put in next Wednesday and I am a little nervous, especially since I scheduled it for during the workday (my gyno has limited hours and I have a weird work schedule). I am a bit concerned I might have to go home and not back to work...but that wouldn't be the end of the world. And I've never gotten period cramps before (don't hate me, I'm sorry); I wonder if that makes a difference as to whether or not I will have them now?

@Marzipan Are you already paying for bc pills? If so, even paying for the IUD device might be more cost-effective in the long run... I think I know a 'Pinner who recently got one at PP, or at least went to PP. I feel like you could just ask for a price quote before an appointment, though.

@Marzipan Don't know if you'll see this, but for me it came to about$300. That's with insurance that is usually pretty reasonable. I did have to badger a lot of people to figure out the cost beforehand. I know I've seen commenters talking about PP's sliding scale working out well, even for decently-paid folks. I'd say it's worth investigating. And if it's within your means, I think it's always a good idea to have a regular relationship with a gyno you trust.

Bottom line: it's a big upfront cost, but then that's it for the next XX years.

@miss olsen Oh my God guys, I'm glad someone's talking about this topic because I literally think my IUD is trying to kill me right now. Insertion was not as bad as I thought - like miss olsen says, uncomfortable but not intolerable. The few hours afterwards were pretty rough, but then everything settled down for a couple of weeks... UNTIL NOW. I assume what I'm having is my period, but it's like a week and a half early (I am NEVER early) and it feels like my uterus is trying to claw its way out of my body. Not to scare any of you who are getting it put in soon or anything... but... is this normal? Going to go curl into a ball now.

@PenniJayne I am really late chiming in here, but this happened to me! And my IUD is still in! Everything is fine! Seriously, I thought I might die and was contemplating a doctor visit, but then everything settled down and I've had no issues. Did you go straight from HBC to the IUD? Because sometimes your body just goes into rebellion mode when you have periods without the HBC pills to IUDland. Also, sometimes having something jammed up into your lady junk just messes with things. If you are really concerned, I would call your doctor, but I just wanted to chime in with the anecdotal evidence that I had this happen to me, I thought I would die, but it turns out everything is fine. But call your doctor! Your concerns are valid!

@PenniJayne It's totally normal! I was in so much pain from mine that I dragged my ass to the doc to get confirmation that I was going to die. Melodramatic but yes, it can/does hurt! Still, probably not a terrible decision to call your doc, even if just for a little hand-holding.

@PenniJayne Coming in really late, but it's unfortunately not out of the ordinary to have some crrrrrazy pain, especially in the first couple of months; the way my doc explained it to me is that it takes your uterus a while to adjust to having a foreign object in it, and the cramps are often the uterus going "OH HELL WHAT IS THIS?!" HOWEVER, if it really is beyond the pale and especially if it feels particularly localized (like, you can pinpoint where the pain is in your abdomen), it might be worth checking in with your gyno; the first month or two is when you have the highest risk of expulsion or (god forbid) uterine perforation.

@sovereignann@twitter I was delighted to discover yesterday that my 4- and 3-year-old niece and nephew know and love that song. JUN-JUGGA-JUN-JUGGA-JUN-JUGGA-JUN-JUGGA-JUN-JUGGA-JUN-JUGGA-JUN-JUGGA-JA-JUNNNN-WAAAAHH-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

i have forgotten how to study, alas. all my academic work now involves reading THE SCHOLARLY LITERATURE and writing papers, and i no longer know how to sit down and learn a bunch of names of proteins.
BUT I WILL DO IT BECAUSE I HAFTA

@plonk I found sometimes that making up elaborate character stories about proteins helped me remember them, perhaps that might work for you? (methionine for example was a flashy secret agent who was necessary but was quickly transferred away by the higher ups when the job was done because he had no staying power.) good luck!

@runner in the garden Or Hot Bird on Sunday at 4 because I am in New York for a conference and hopefully people will go there and then I will have met Brooklyn/New York Pinners and that would be awesome.

I'm pretty new around these parts, so forgive me if this has already been decided, but: Garfunkel and Oates. Are they not the best ever?

I'm also behind the curve, so I didn't know about them until I chanced upon their latest song "29/31" last week. (Note: If you still need to see that one, it is NSFW but worth breaking out the headphones. Ditto everything they write)

Pinners, I got a new job and I start next week! I'm staying at the same place just moving up and over to a different department. I'm going to be so busy, but my schedule is Tuesday-Saturday so Mondays I'm all yours.

I am in such a bad mood today, compounded by the fact that somebody started a rumor that they were letting us leave early today and then we didn't get to leave early (UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH) and also this bullshit with a friend of mine.

I'm a writer, she has a little press. She published a chapbook of my stories. I was supposed to get 25 copies, I only got 9 and promises of getting the rest "soon, probably." For months and months! Now I hear people are buying books from her, paying her, and then never getting them. I sent her a message on FB (I know, I know, but I thought it would be the easiest way to get in touch) and she's ignoring me. Bitch, I can SEE you updating your status and posting shit on your wall. I recognize that she's been really busy lately, but this is ridiculous. The whole process has been such a mess and it sucks especially because these are stories I'm really proud of! I want to be able to get them in bookstores here and sell them at readings and put them out in the world.

Oh and also, NYC-based Pinners: I want to take my lifelong NYer boyfriend on a Tourism Day! because he's never seen any of the big touristy things, like the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State building. Except the Empire State Building and Top of the Rock are SO EXPENSIVE seriously my budget for that part was like $12/each.

(NB: he is totally in support of this plan.)

So, Pintariat: good rooftop bars with a legit awesome view? even better if they have good Monday happy hours! Or, is there some other "view New York!" place that doesn't cost eight bazillion dollars?

Also, I can't think of anything besides that and the Statue of Liberty. What would you put on a stereotypical NYC tourism itinerary, no museums?

@terrific Take a photo smooching in Times Square. Buy I <3 NY t-shirts. Ride those red buses around. The wax museum. Play with toys in FAO Schwartz. Dance in the statue in Central Park that they filmed the FRIENDS theme song at. Go to a shooting of a TV show that they film live in New York.

@ba-na-nas Yes! The Staten Island ferry! You can do what my friend likes to call the Staten Island Shuffle: get on the boat, buy a Foster's Oil Can ($4!) and finish it before you get off the boat, immediately get back on the boat when you land in Staten Island, buy another oil can and finish it before you reach Manhattan.

I started a blog this week! And I already mentioned it on another thread on The Hairpin, but I thought I'd mention it again because you might have missed it and it's open thread so I can post whatever is on my mind, right? And this is on my mind.

http://dressopotamia.blogspot.com/

It's about vintage fashion, specifically the kind I find in my closet when I open the door. Hope you like it! Thank you for your consideration!

Who wrote their Pinpals? I finally did! Shame on me for taking so long, but I finally did it! And I think I sounded like a hyper idiot, but oh well. Tell me about your Pinpal! If you are my Pinpal, know that that little letter is on its waaaaaay~

@frigwiggin My Pinpal (hey, ***, if you're reading this!) and I have been writing back and forth for a couple of months now, and it's awesome! I got her most recent letter a week ago, so I'm going to try to sit down and write this weekend.

Hop to it! I neglected mine for way too long (and only feel better about it because mine neglected me too), but don't try to draft the perfect letter! It will only end in failure. Write something silly and pop it in the mail!

I have been trying to play the guessing game of which commenter my Pinpal might be, since I only have her real name, but I have not had much luck. Anyone here from Ohio?

@frigwiggin Ack I need to do it! I'm going to write a little introduction message to them on this really awesome Banksy postcard I got in a sec, so if you get a Banksy postcard in the next week or so, that's from meee!

@frigwiggin God dammit! I wrote last time we were all saying we hadn't written to ours yet that I was going to. But I haven't yet. BUT! I recently have gotten into mail art and envelope making, so I am FINALLY ready! I have no more excuses.

@frigwiggin I just signed up about 2 weeks ago, and I just sent my first letter out yesterday! I pray that CanadaPost is not as terrible with international mail as it usually is. Am very excited about future correspondence!

@ginalouise I got a card from my new 'pin pal this week and it was the very first piece of mail I got in my new apartment mailbox and I was so excited and I can't wait to write her back and 'pin pal I'm so sorry I didn't write you first but I had to move and cater a party last weekend so I am just now getting my shit together but you will get something next week and I will try to find something delightful to include!

@frigwiggin I did it! I got a Pin pal and I wrote to her this week. It is one dorky letter, but I am hoping the lovely postage stamps will make up for that. I don't technicaly collect stamps, I just buy them way more often than I need to.

You guys, I saw my friend's Selena tribute band last night and it was amaaaaaazing. They're all in kind of scuzzy rock bands, but the Selena tribute is 100% in earnest and she just BECOMES Selena! They played with a bunch of punk/garage bands -- because that's kind of what we're all into most of the time -- but everyone was dancing and screaming and it was incredible!

@PatatasBravas Orange is so awesome right now! WEAR IT WEAR IT. I got some insanely orange lipstick from Sephora a few weeks back and it's kind of amazing. I'm still a little bit of a wuss, so I put lip balm on, put the orange on, blot, and put more balm on top. Orangey but not insane. So yes, WEAR IT.

@PatatasBravas The answer is definitively no! If you want to start slow, you could try Nars Niagara. It's a bright coral. Then move up to a full-blown orange, then try Nars Schiap, a bright pink and my personal favorite!

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher @miss olsen @science vs. dinosaurs Thanks! I saw it on a braid tutorial on A Cup of Jo and just coveted it, and then had several moments of doubt over the last week about whether the wacky lighting of a beauty blog photoshoot was obscuring some evidence that it would look heinous on me.

I am calmed and ready to drop $14 on a lipstick revolution! (normally I am a tinted balm kinda lady)

@smidge Yay! I wear cat-eyes liner probably 4 days a week-ish. Don't be nervous, because it looks awesome and really makes eyes look big and wide (and flirty, if you're into that). Once I started doing it really often, I switched up the colors to jazz it up. Go you!

I rarely ever join in on these things since usually I am doing actual work, but now I have Fridays OFF to jerk about on the Internet and what not, so: shit just got taken to a new level at my job and I want to talk about this! But I feel like a tit talking about it with my real life friends since a) some of them are unemployed and have actual training/schooling in the area I am venturing into (with no training/schooling...) and b) some of them I work with and don't want to brag to.

Still: I have waited 3.5 years to be taken this seriously and it is EXCITING. But also, it is scary. I don't want to fuck this up! What if I fuck this up? People GO TO SCHOOL FOR THIS, have I mentioned? I am confident and finally it's starting to feel like I have a real person job and maybe a path to a career and WOW SO OVERWHELMED. (But excited, totally excited.) Ah-hem. Thanks. Way better now.

@jen325: I work in retail and I'm basically being asked to evaluate some of our operations and improve on them. Like, one of the new projects they've handed to me is designing a weekly forecasting model. But I didn't know that forecasting was a THING (we weren't doing...) until a month ago, when they asked me to design the quarterly forecasting model. And then lots of other procedural guides and logistics and. Basically retail metrics and stuff of that nature, I think? I dunno, I've been doing a lot of Googling and my buddy with an MBA was all, "this is my area, WHAT IS HAPPENING AT YOUR JOB?!"

@mouthalmighty Wow, on the surface that seems like it might be boring, but when I think about it it actually sounds interesting. There's probably a good reason you have a job when other people you know in the field don't. Good luck with your CAREER! I know you will be awesome.

I don't know about your friends, but as a currently-underemployed person, it makes me feel better to hear about people in my field getting good jobs. Maybe also jealous, but at least it gives me a little hope.

@mouthalmighty Not exactly the same, but my dad worked construction and one day his supervisor was like, "Hey you can read a blueprint, right?" And my dad was like, "Um, yes." And he got a promotion to site superintendent (or something like that) but he couldn't actually read a blueprint, so he spent the weekend at the architecture library with a reference librarian helping him learn how to read a blueprint. And then he spent every evening reading everything he could for several months. Anyway, sometimes you have to jump in the deep end and then trust yourself to sort it out.

My boyfriend is a professional photographer. A year and a half ago he took a break from it because he was getting divorced and his ex was heavily involved in the business. He got a job doing apartment maintenance for health insurance and 9-to-5-ness, which was supposed to be more temporary than it has become. He's fed up with it and is ready to reboot his business and the career that makes him happy.

Last week we put down a security deposit to rent a storefront. It was very impulsive, but the rent was really cheap and it's a block away from our house. It's a nice little town that has Fourth Friday festivities, which is a good opportunity to promote himself every month. The storefront will lend more of an air of legitimacy to his business, too. And the previous tenant was also a photographer and she was there for many years, so people already expect there to be a photographer in town (undoubtedly there are many who don't know she moved).

I'm so excited for him because this is what he really enjoys and he's good at it. It's also a little scary because it's an extra expense and the lease is two years. But it's also a good motivator!

SO if any 'Pinners in the Philadelphia area are getting married and need a photographer...

@jen325 me? but, i may have my friend's photography student sister do it for free-zies? but i'd love to support your dood too but i'm too cheap? but I'll spread it around to my other friends who are marrying soon!

@teenie Free is the best! I had friends photograph my wedding as their wedding gift, and it was awesome.

ACTUALLY...are you sending out save the date cards? Because his ex has all his negatives and samples and won't give them up, he doesn't have much of a portrolio to show. He's been throwing around the idea of doing a shoot or two for free for friends. Maybe you would like some nice on-location couple-y portraits? You and your man are so adorable and photogenic. I'll see if he still wants to do that. f you're interested, you've got my email address through the google 'pinup group.

@jen325 That's such an awesome offer! We've already got our STD's (ew) - photos courtesy of another photographer friend of ours who gave them to us as an engagement prezzie. But I definitely have a number of friends who are newly engaged or just about there, so I'll spread the good word and make a connection if anyone else is in the market! best of luck!

Thanks! I'd send you a link to his web site, but his ex used to maintain it, and although I've tweaked it some it's still not very good and has to be rebuilt from scratch. It's on my list of things to do!

I received a voicemail today from a woman crying. When I called the number back, I found out it was my grandmother's housecleaner, who we had hired a few weeks ago to stop by my grandmother's house twice a week to tidy up and go grocery shopping for her. My grandmother has been suffering from dementia that has increased drastically in the last year, and her personality has turned from a jolly woman who loved to eat, to a bitter, mean and insulting lady who pushes away everyone who's trying to help. The housecleaner told me that my grandmother called her a negro and a dog when she forgot to fill the ice cube tray. I apologized for her, and told her that I understood that she never wants to return. I'm going to visit grandma for a week to make sure she's ok, and I'm petrified of what kind of person will be there.

@saraphonic Oh god. Dementia is so awful. I have heard it explained as similar to internally aging backwards - you lose control of your mind and any filter you may have had, and then start to lose physical control, too. It can be nasty. Good on you for trying to help as you can.

@saraphonic Alzheimer's runs in my family, and it's so scary and sad and frustrating. It's hard for the person because they get aggressive due to confusion or fear, and it sucks for the family as well. I used to do elder care, and one of my clients was getting there towards the end where he would get blusteringly mad if something went wrong because he'd forgotten how to do it and he was embarrassed and confused.

Anyway, good luck with your grandmother. You're doing a good thing going to visit her, even if it's hard.

@saraphonic My grandma had alzheimer's and it really is such a sad process. I hope that your visit goes ok. Try not to take anything mean she says to hear, and also, take advantage of anything hilarious she says (intentional or not). You might as well enjoy the time with her.

It's so sad and scary for them. My grandma definitely lost track of who I was, but she seemed to know that I was somebody who cared about her.

@Xanthophyllippa Nah not weird, though I'd call it awkward as opposed to creepy. Just part of the Mr. Rogers charm. You're right though, he doesn't really translate to autotuning the way Carl, Neil and Bill do. I still think it's pretty great. Apparently PBS is going to be releasing more of these of other classic shows.

@Dizzy I might also be turning into my mother, who always thought Fred Rogers was a bit creepy (it's the glassy stare). She stopped letting me watch him when he sang some song about the differences between boys and girls that seemed to perpetuate gender stereotypes. I, of course, have no recollection of the song whatsoever.

I thought the Open Thread was really early today, but then noticed it is 3:30 today!! I have not been terribly productive this week y'all. I am going to the Japanese Film Fest tomorrow to see 13 Assassins finally though. And then going to see Prometheus on Sunday.

The horrible office manager I've bitched about on here and to pretty much everyone I meet ever has finally been promoted out of his job due to general incompetence! While it chafes me that this place is so firing-adverse people who fuck up at their jobs just get promoted to somewhere they can do less harm, I'll still take it as a win. The coworker who had taken on cleaning up after previous manager's messes now got promoted and we might be able to keep a receptionist now. And today new manager is providing beer and pastries in the boardroom!

@MilesofMountains I think that happens most places, or maybe I'm just cynical. Many of my relatives work for the government, and it for sure happens all the time there. Enjoy your pastries and beer! (I read that as pasties, and that sounds kind of NSFW.(

@meetapossum I was kind of disappointed too because of House of the Undying being real boring except for ghost!Drogo and the whole weirdess of the Season 2 plot changes, but then there were White Walkers and I screamed because OMG WHITE WALKERS.

@cosmia SO disappointing. I mean, I understand why they didn't do certain scenes (*cough* wedding *cough*), but I expected a little bit of Rhaegar and Lyanna. I totally don't understand why the White Walkers would just ignore Sam, though?

@Third Wave Housewife I knew I needed to read it based on my comments in the post about how I was finally "out" as a non-virgin to my mother despite being 22 and she was getting all slut-shamey on me. It really felt amazing to read such an insightful book that backed up all of the opinions I have about virginity and healthy sex lives and gender roles.

Ohhhhh thread is already so long but I want to put in a plug for my friend's show that is quite excellent and doing a mini summer tour of Fringe Festivals: currently in Cincinnati! St. Louis, DC, Minnesota, Boulder and Philadelphia to follow. It's a very Hairpin experience, so if you are in one of those places, please do check them out: www.cecilyandgwendolyn.com

@whereismyrobot The last two episodes!! I have no idea how they are going to resolve this season. I think I might just download all the episodes and keep re-watching until the new season starts in 2013.

@WaityKatie Breaking Bad does come back next month! Buuuuttt it's only for like 6 or 7 episodes. And it's the last season. Also Monday was an emotional day, I pretty much spent all m orning crying between Mad Men and Game of Thrones.

So maybe this should have been on the IUD thread, but this is birth-control-pill question that mybe some people can relate to/answer: I take Lutera (some kind of generic, maybe), have been taking it for 2 or 3 months after switching from NuvaRing because of $$$$ reasons. Everything's fine except....I get "periods" before I'm supposed to? Like, the second week of hormonal pills, then maybe a little bit also during the placebo-pill week. Is this okay? This never happened on NuvaRing so I'm kind of freaked out and thinking the pills "aren't working," ie, this is the only time I've ever been glad about my nonexistent sex life. Halp!

@martinipie Hmmm. I take Lutera also and this definitely does not happen to me. But maybe everyone reacts differently? Don't mean to freak you out more, but I want to halp you and that's the only thing I can offer!!

@maybe partying will help I thought it was funbox? Funhouse makes more sense but I have been rocking "communists invaded my funbox" since I saw it on a comment thread, much to the chagrin of everyone else.

I really want to do the closet expose with Jane, but I already know what she'll say:
Don't be boring!
Stop being so cheap!
Get rid of your ratty college org/comic con/band t-shirts already. Seriously they are lame and revolting and you have so many of them.
No, but seriously, your clothes are boring.

@whereismyrobot I like the GoT "my flower is blooming". (...every comment I have made in this thread mentions Game of Thrones somehow. IN MY DEFENSE, I was actually thinking about this euphemism today!)

Sooooo I got Dragon Age this week after reading that post on it + all the comments which made it sound like fun. The only thing is -- I'm playing on my HP Pavillion laptop and you have to right click to move your character yet for some reason my right click isn't registering at all. I don't see a way to re-assign that command in the options menu. Do I have to get an external mouse or something? Anyone?

On a side note: when I started playing it last night my boyfriend was in the other room and made some comment about not becoming a gamer and why don't I spend that time learning an instrument or something -- I had just started my period / am very sensitive so I shot back at him that Portland is full of twee girls who fit his ideal scenario and maybe he should be with one of them, CUE TEARS. He said he was just kidding and not to make it A THING so we moved on, but I know he meant it and am pretty bummed out that whenever I play this game from here on out he's going to be silently wishing I was absorbed in an activity that he deems worthwhile. Or rather, I'll be thinking that's what he's thinking whether he truly is or not. Ugh.

Yeah, fuck that noise. If you want one of those ukelele hoes, just go outside and throw a rock.

Seriously, though, that's too bad. Maybe try to get him into games, too? I don't know if Dragon Age is multi or not but maybe you could each play single-player games simultaneously? Or sometimes some single-players are fun with two people when one navigates?

@klaus I don't have a solution to your right-click dilemma, but I am so amused that you are the one playing video games and your boyfriend is the one who pouts about it. Plenty of dudes play video games and would be happy to have a gamer girlfriend. Maybe you should threaten to find one. (Just kidding??)

Would he be pissed if you were spending your time reading a book? You're just escaping into a story.

@klaus Yeah genius, next time you're in pain and bleeding, why don't you try and find something more constructive to do with your time. Perhaps learning the fucking oboe?

I'm sorry girl, that was really mean of him and you didn't deserve it. I don't play games as much as I used to, but it's still one of my favourite go-to activities when I'm on the rag. It really helps me get out of my head, and I take far fewer painkillers as a result. It's your downtime, you can spend it however you want to. If something makes you happy, especially when you're feeling fragile, he should support it, or at the very least shut up about it.

Thanks for making me laugh, you guys. I'm honestly still pretty annoyed by the comment, but he backpedaled right away so I guess it's on me to take him for his word and not let it fester in the back of my mind. I would've had a harder time being an Adult about it without a team of people reaffirming what a dick comment that was!

Advice time! One of the pitfalls of my previous relationship (which just ended 3 weeks ago) was that I went into it basically immediately after my previous one ended. And that's what I usually do: I am a serial monogamist. I wanted to be single for awhile & see what I actually want. Of COURSE that is not what I am doing. I've been hanging out with this friend for a few months, & now that I'm single, he's like, OH HEYYYY. And I have a really really hard time saying "No" to relationships. I am really good at being like "Do I want to hang out tonight? Well, I don't NOT want to hang out with you. You are great, and I love dates?" Now this great man is like, "So, can I tell people we're dating?" and I'm like, "GASP! No! Just because we go on dates & make out all the time doesn't mean...eff."

tl:dr, does anyone else suffer from being an idiot like me? When a nice man wants to spend time together, how do you resiiiiiiist?

@one cow. Don't resist, I never saw anything wrong with being a serial monogamist. You like people, and people like you, there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you are being honest with yourself and doing what you enjoy (instead of, say, blowing off an opportunity to take a taxidermy class or go skydiving to be with this man), who says you can't do things you like with a man whose company you enjoy?

@one cow. come sit over here by me, little lady. I'm the same way. But at least we are aware of it? I just ended things with my post-boyfriend friends-with-benefits a few days ago, and I am sorta seeing this guy I met on OKCupid. I need to just take a breather, I think, but it's hard because relationships are nice. Cuddles, sex, activity partner, etc.

@one cow. Ha, I'm with yah. Started my current (almost 6 year!) relationship shortly after things were finalized in my very brief marriage. I think, as serial monogamists, we tend to stick around until the bitter end and then realize that things had already been shitty for X months, which makes it a lot easier to start into another relationship when you're already kind of over it by the time you've kicked him to the curb. That's the way it has been for me, at least.

Can anyone help me figure out some new weeknight meals? I went on cooking strike for awhile, but am ready to start getting some home-cooked food going. The problem is the intersection of things my husband will eat and things I will eat is a little small. I've been craving more protein but am at a bit of a loss.

Here is what my dude does not like to eat:
fruit
chicken
whole grains (there are probably exceptions to this, but he generally doesn't like them)
basic protein/starch/vegetable where everything is kind of separate rather than one tasty meal that incorporates all 3.
stir fry

here is what I do not like:
any white liquid or liquid-ish dairy product (milk, yogurt, cream, sour cream, cottage cheese, etc)
pork (I will eat it, but I generally don't like it unless it's in a spicy sausage)
well done red meat

I cannot get over how frustrating it is that I can't just do the basic chicken breast, grilled meat or fish filet + grain + veggie type meal. That would make my life so much easier. We're not really that picky overall - we both love ethnic food and spicy food. but I feel like we've gone through so many combinations of pasta type dishes and egg-based dishes and I am tired of it.

What do people eat? Please help me, maybe? I can share my recipes in return. There are like 5 that we both find acceptable, but they're pretty good.

@arrr starr Stews? It sounds like you guys don't have a problem with beans, so how about some dals? I can vouche for the poppy seed dal and the apple and coconut dal from this article , and I bet the other ones are great, too. Or a tofu-based kimchi jigae or coconut curry?

Or maybe a tomato-based (instead of cream) fish chowder with potatoes in it. Manhattan-style clam chowder is maybe the best soup in the whole world. Or paella, since it sounds like you might like chorizo sausage.

@arrr starr Curry that's legume heavy? I don't know how important meat-based protein is to y'all--it's important to my boyfriend and also he hates Indian food--but I make all sorts of chana masala and kidney beans in tomato sauce and stuff for myself. (Here is where I name-drop 660 Curries by Raghavan Iyer for the second time this week. It's got tons of bean- and veggie-based curries that aren't very hard to cook!)

@arrr starr I have to assume he doesn't like quinoa then? Because black bean, quinoa, and mushroom stuffed peppers from Vegan With a Vengeance is a winner. I have never had anyone not DEVOUR that when I make it, vegan, vegetarian, carnivore. I generally serve it with some roasted asparagus sprinkled with lemon and sea salt.

@arrr starr How about a nice piece of fish, with some pieces of lemon, garlic, herbs, whatever you want, in a aluminum foil packet, in the oven?

Also for your man who doesn't like whole grains, how about roasted little potatoes, and also the thing where you mash cauliflower until it's like mashed potatoes? Also rice pasta is pretty terrific! Also how about some nice Kale, just dumped in boiling water for a moment (like 20 seconds) and then immediately strain and put in a nice ice bath. Then toss it with some homemade vinaigrette (dijon, olive oil, balsamic, a little sugar maybe, pepper, whatevs). Then put the piece of fish on top, or whatever else you want.

@Jade OK, your HAR HAR HAR is reminding me of Tormund and his giant... er... utensil. Maybe I will just go re-read AGoT instead of cooking. but seriously, those suggestions are great. they're definitely at the intersection of what he likes best and what I like best and I know he won't EVER complain about cajun food.

@MilesofMountains he is ok with beans, but picky. that article looks really helpful and I will eat just about anything tomato-based. am with you on Manhattan clam chowder, though I've never thought to make it at home.

@frigwiggin I was intrigued enough the first time you mentioned it. I may have to look for a used copy. I'm actually trying to get a little bit more animal-based protein, since that's what I've been craving, though normally we eat a LOT of vegetarian stuff (he was vegetarian for 20+ years and I was vegan for about 6 years, so we are very comfortable skipping the meat in general).

@saraphonic - those are totally his favorites. though the last time we tried to make sushi, it was kind of a disaster. we had way too much food, but it wasn't ready until 11 PM.

@Third Wave Housewife - he HATES quinoa. it makes me very sad :(((

@Moxie - I have never done this before, but it sounds easy and brilliant and probably flavorful enough that he can eat it (and easy enough that I don't care if he doesn't and will just eat the rest for lunch) Thanks!

@miss olsen - pizza is his absolute favorite, though we've never grilled it. I like it, too, though it doesn't really help with my get-more-protein plan.

@arrr starr This book has become my bible lately. I would recommend it to anyone, animal-product averse or not, although that aspect does seem relevant here. It is really focussed on creating meals that are nutrient-dense, balanced, and, most importantly, effing delicious. Also importantly, its focus is on taking care of yourself by eating well, so is written in really body-positive language. It has made meal-planning and eating a diverse diet such a joy for me lately. I have yet to had any of the recipes disappoint me. Last night, the black-eyed peas/ greens/ hot sauce concoction I had over basmati rice blew. my. mind. Nobody is paying me to say any of this. Buy this book!

@Cat Jail Oh, geez. That looks delicious. I'm pretty sure it's more my type of food than the dude's (and that I would be eating triple portions of everything), but if she's for real about all of that taking under 30 minutes, I may have to invest in this.

@arrr starr I feel pretty confident in saying that there's something for everyone in it. I have also had great success recently with the Eggplant Provencal and the Pot Pie Stew. I haven't timed myself while cooking, but it isn't labour intensive. I enjoy cooking, but I don't want to cook every night, so it works out well for me that she portions it for 4-8 people. I freeze what I don't eat in individual-sized plastic containers, so I always have something on hand when I'm hungry.

@Cat Jail hmm, the dude is very big on eggs and cheese so I'm not sure how much I could get away with these types of recipes, but I just made the mistake of reading through the amazon preview right after a run. holy crap, want ALL the eggplant/chickpea curries now.

@sudden but inevitable betrayal I have a very unusal last name and one time my mom won the Puzzler. You WOULD NOT BELIEVE how many people asked me about it the next week (Are you related to a Catherine? Did someone in your family win the Puzzler last week?. Freaking everybody listens to Car Talk.

OK 'Pinners, I need some advice! Freelancing is super slow in NY from now until August- I have a few gigs lined up but not enough to sustain myself. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for me re: back up job shopping in the city?? I've been lucky enough so far that I have just supported myself on gigs, but what with my back/ arm situation I kind of want to take it easy playing at the moment. I'm looking into temping, but I want to do something that won't require me to sit all day (part of the problem is a compressed nerve that's exacerbated by sitting- I feel much better when I'm walking around). I don't even really know where to start! I was thinking about a coffee shop, but I've never worked as a barista (although I'm obsessed with coffee, so I know how to make it in about 50 different ways) so they'd probably require me to train, which means I wouldn't get paid for a few months, right?

@LittleBookofCalm Have you tried babysitting/nannying? I'm on Care.com and have found 3-4 regular babysitting and petsitting gigs on there (in NYC) I only need nights/weekends, but there are a whole bunch of different types of families on there and I bet there will be some summer-only nanny needs. Also, families in NYC generally pay well for reliable childcare. Good luck!

@runner in the garden Ooh, yes please- and what do I wear? And should I bring a resume? Other than some work-study I did in a college library (filing, alphabetizing books, gluing things to books), my resume consists of teaching and playing the piano... Do you have any tips? (this is why I haven't gone to an agency yet- I'm sort of at a loss as to what to do...)

Hello! I have experience in both NYC barista-ing and temping. And I have friends who are errant freelancing pianists! This is odd.

Barista-ing:
For some weird unknowable reason, food service jobs in NYC are strangely exclusive and hard to get unless you've previously had food service jobs in NYC. (Except if you are ethereally lovely, and then you just have to float by the door in your minidress and take people's names.) This is ironic and dumb because you typically make $8-10 per hour as a barista, and you have to fight for a lot of those jobs.

I liked barista-ing! It uses your whole body, mind, and lots of emotion. It's hard work! Long hours dashing around, sweating, remembering things nonstop, joking with customers, burning yourself occasionally. Another downside: it all seems super chill and laid-back until you realize that they just don't want to train you, so if you screw up too much they fire you. Also, some people get hooked on the drama.

If you want one of those jobs, the very best way is to obsessively check Craigslist for "open calls", which is like a walk-in interview. Wear a nice shirt, and if possible, lie ridiculously on your resume about how you worked the coffee cart in college, or catered, or something like that...

The good part is that some jobs are relatively easy to get. The bad part is that they're usually the kind where you have to wear a monogrammed hat. Like Pinkberry or something.

Temping:
I highly recommend Efro Staffing and Clarity Staffing. Everyone who works there is awesome. If you're going to temp, get recommendations from friends and connections - don't just start applying to places you Google or find on Yelp. There are lots of scammy cruddy temp agencies out there, where you wait for an hour and fill out 30 pages of paperwork and they never find you work.

And yes, dress quite nice - suit if possible.

Actually, I just thought of something. Have you ever been to the Trader Joe's at Union Square? Those are the happiest damn employees under the sun. And they move around all the time. Be one of them!

So, okay. I was totally coming to terms with the fact that the guy I had left on the other side of the country was apparently not feeling it as much as me. I was like, well, this is going to be hard because I couldn't find anything wrong with you? Other than not being very communicative for a month, dammit.

But...he wrote me back! I haven't even read it beyond "I'm sorry this is late" and "I'm actually coming to where you are" because I can't handle it? I want to hide under the bed because I have so many emotions. I also want to let him know that I was totally confused for the past month but I don't know how to communicate that without being "you...what?! I...WHAT?!"

So I got the Paragard! it was the most painful thing everrrr, but I managed to go grocery shopping after and take public transport a million miles home, so I count it a rounding success! I had to work the next day, too, and I got through that, and now I am sick (unrelated) so I am too busy with that to notice any cramping. Overall, not as bad as I thought.

My mister of five years just decided he was losing his mind on the west coast and packed up the car and left (permanently) to return to his homeland 3000 miles away this morning. Please give me all of the suggestions for distractions because I do not have the time or capacity to deal with this awfulness right now. Shitty sci fi, books, and activities all welcome.

@christonacracker Oh no, that's horrible! Massive hugs from a stranger :( For pure escapism, I recommend the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik--my housemate and I have been pimping our copies out to our entire social circle, and everyone's loved it so far. Um, also, you could watch the TV series Black Books, which is very funny and distracting! Good luck!

@christonacracker Whaaaat. I am sorry and I am sending you all the hugs. My favorite diversion is dancing--lots of hot strangers + exercise + preccupation with looking awesome while dancing and not pulling any muscles. Also maybe cocktails? With girlfriends.

@christonacracker Podcasts. All day, every day. Because you have shit to get on with and quiet time alone with your thoughts is the devil. Thrilling Adventure Hour, Extra Hot Great, Kermode and Mayo, This American Life, Adam and Joe, Radiolab. iTunes, now. Run, don't walk!

Also, I recommend finding something to get absolutely obsessed about learning how to do. For me, it was learning to read music. Whenever my brain started looping, I'd visualize a note on the scale and think, "F... that is F" really intensely.

I recently had a potential employer call all of my current supervisors for references, and then...not offer me a job. So now my supervisors think I'm desperate to get out of here (I am) and yet I am still stuck here. Why would someone screw someone over like that/that is just rude.

@Reginal T. Squirge But they both told me that they gave really good references, and they are nice, so I don't THINK they would lie. Although if they called my prior supervisors, I don't know! They liked me at the time but maybe they were like, "screw her, I don't care anymore."

@WaityKatie I'd maybe give the potential employer a call and ask why you were removed from consideration. If you had a shitty reviewer, they'll probably let you know. I had a situation like that, though, and it turned out they had lost the funding for the position, so no one got hired.

@WaityKatie my husband is in this situation (desperate to get out but not wanting to burn bridges) and many of the applications he's filled out have a space to say explicitly, please do not contact my current boss, or something to that effect.

@WaityKatie I am so late to this probably nobody will ever see it, but: this is the job hunt terrain these days, unfortunately. I recently spent literally months interviewing for a great job I really wanted. I was one of three finalists they flew to HQ in another part of the country for a long series of interviews. I thought it was the best interview experience I had ever had in my life, we talked salary, benefits, start date, and vacation time.

Then I never heard another word. I know I should have called/emailed, but I had already sent painstakingly personal and (I hope) charming to every single person I met there so there was no real peg for it. They could have simply sent an impersonal "thanks but no thanks" email to me, but apparently that was too much trouble. I found out through assiduous googling months later that someone else got the job (I had been wondering if they had never actually hired someone for the position, another situation I have been in before).

@churlishgreen It's the not-letting-you-know part that really drives me crazy. I mean, how many people's references could they even have checked? 3? How hard is it to send 2 people rejection emails? Of course, it's the government, so...

But I have decided that that job would probably have sucked anyway and I don't want it because I am going to get a WAY BETTER JOB any day now. Now I just need to find a way better job to apply for...

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys: since I’ve been dating this lady (about 4 months now) my apartment has accumulated no less than a dozen hairpins resting on various surfaces. I just leave them wherever because they aren’t mine to throw away and maybe I’m not quite A Clean Person OKAY. Jus sayin’ this website is very appropriately titled because males can interact with and even utilize it (I believe one could make a small explosive out of a hairpin, electrical tape, and some bleach), but it’s ultimately a thing for ladies.

@Jade Ohhh, there was this one time that I was getting ready to be all sexy-times at my then-very-new-boyfriend's house. I got into the bed and there was something in the sheets. Hairpins. Several of them. And they were black. My hair is blond, and so if I ever use pins, which I never do, I of course use the light brown ones. So, yeah. They were not mine.

AWKWARD SILENCE. Finally, I said something that I hoped was lighthearted about, you know, possibly changing the sheets if you're going to have another lady come by before/after me (all the while dying inside). He just kind of looked at me in confusion. Turns out his ferret had a habit of stealing crap and putting it in the bed. And the pins belonged to his roommate's girlfriend. So his awkward silence was all about being embarrassed that there had been a ferret in the bed, whereas mine was more about him boning other ladies.

Quick request for y'all to keep fingers crossed for me. I applied to a part-time job with Planned Parenthood that I am so qualified for (which is rare).
I've been volunteering for a year and realized being a Sex Educator would be awesome! because I love doing the volunteer classes, and getting to do that with kids/teens would maybe be the most rewarding thing ever.

My volunteer director says that most in Education there were hired from internships and don't necessarily have degrees, so working part-time would allow me to take an internship, and then who knows....?
I might actually figure out my life, guys!

I just met a guy that I am crazy about. We have only been on one date yet but it lasted all day (coffee, lunch, trip to Target, pause, going to his house for dinner, movie). I know I’m being fanciful and girly and superstitious but I have this total "This is it" feeling. We have been texting a bit, I ran into him at the gym yesterday, and I’m going to a party at his house tomorrow. However in a week I’m leaving the country for two months so it is awful timing – because of work he might not even be here when I get back. I haven’t even made any attempt to try to reign in my potentially delusional feelings. He’s one of those incredibly charismatic people where it could just be like he can turn the switch on for anyone, or he could legit really like me too, I can’t tell. I also think he might think I’m too young for him (I’m 24 and he’s 29). I feel like if I weren’t going away, it would go kind of slowly. He didn’t even touch me yet. I had deliberately made it coffee not the typical "get drunk and have sex" date out of some sixth sense it could be A Thing. I was excited to have lots of crazy adventures while I’m out of the country, and there’s no way to know if this guy would be worth giving that up for (reason says no!). I’m really worried I’ll never see him again after I get back. It’s stupid to even talk about before I have more extensive interaction with him but I can’t help obsessing about all of it!

@A R 3287 Don't worry about it! I met a guy once two weeks before he left for another continent for like three months, and we emailed to and fro the whole time and it was fiiiiiine right up until he turned out to be a massive juicebox this Christmas! Just let him know you think he's really cool, email him with cool news from whatever thrilling place you're going and suggest you meet up to catch up with respective newses when you're back. And have fun!

@A R 3287 I know the feeling...however, you do have to remember that he is just a boy you met ONCE, and even if you guys fell madly for each other, it is highly unlikely that in the progress of a week you guys are going to talk about anything resembling a relationship/monogamy. So you can go on dates with him and have fun and have fabulous adventures on your trip without worrying about a thing! He'll be there when you get back.

Whatever it is he's not going to be worth giving anything up for. And right now you just don't know! It's just one date! The one thing I've learned is that giving up doing things you want to do in hopes/anticipation of a guy you like is never worth it. Guys are far more likely to turn out disappointments than a travel adventure!

@A R 3287 Aw! That is so much fun and also sucks so much! I have been in a kind of similar situation (we started dating RIGHT before I moved to the opposite coast), and it can be OK? Long distance sucks, and it's hard if you don't know each other well first because when you see each other, it's special and you're on your best behavior and everything. But you should definitely hang out more before you leave and see what happens because maybe he'll still be around when you get back, and if not, at least you had a fun time? BUT don't give up your trip!!! Have fun adventures, and if he's still there when you get back, then awesome.

@A R 3287 AHHH Okay. Based on my experience with this (it has happened to me three freaking times, but I'm hoping the last time might be the legit last time) -- your feelings are your feelings. You are allowed to feel crazy about him! You are allowed to be a bit delusional! You are not allowed to give up on your trip. Know why? Because if he's worth it, if 'This Is It,' then he will make his way back to you. I have seen it happen twice over with people (for 6-12 months at a time!) but they made their way back to each other. (I'm kind of hoping that'll happen for me too...though I've met people with only a DAY left in the same place as them and met with them again after months apart, though nothing has happened because of continued space constraints).

Does he really think you're too young for him? Have you asked him, and then told him he is being silly?

Just enjoy the time you have, and ask if he can't keep in touch while you're gone. If he's like "Why?" be like "Cos I like hanging out with you, dummy!"

@A R 3287 Not to feed your frenzy, but that's a lot like my first date with my now-almost-husband. We spent the day wandering around DC, rested at his friend's place for a bit, went out for dinner & to bars, and I ended up sleeping on his friend's couch because we just didn't want it to end. And we also explicitly avoided getting too naughty on the first date because of emergent feelings. We did date long distance for over a year. We had talked a lot leading up to the date and already felt a pretty strong connection, but were nervous about putting too much weight on it before spending a lot of time together. As for age, he's ten years older than me and I was 24 when we met. At a certain point, age matters less and less. But: adventures are important. "Thanks for the great advice, Julia" "You're welcome."

@julia Those are the best, the best! My situation is that a long time acquaintanceship recently exploded into a torrid month long affair, only to have the fellow be called away to work in a different state for a month, and then every other week for the rest of the summer! He'll be back from the first stint on Tuesday and while at first it seemed like forever it's fun to be excited to see him. Also he called me several times from the forest and it was really sweet to realize that he wanted to like, call and chat with me and tell me what was going on.

Also when we were first hanging out just the two of us I was still not really admitting that we weren't "just friends," but we would spend all day together doing silly thing after silly thing, and then sort of get awkward and try to scrounge around for the next thing to do because we didn't want to stop hanging out together but it was at the point where we should have been ceasing talking and making out and we weren't doing that yet. IT WAS CUTE and it's going to be cute again in three days!! So cute!!

I went to the party at his house last night. I stayed over after. UNBELIEVABLE sex. Before we started hooking up he told me about his "situation" which is that he got out of a serious relationship five months ago that has been in some kind of slightly un-finalized state since then (I didn't ask or want to hear any more details). He also said that he didn't want to be in a relationship or have a partner or whatever at this point in his life and career blah blah blah. I was like "Well, I'm going away in a week, so . . ." and then we had all of the sex. And I think he's going to be here when I get back because he's renewing his lease. So I think it's an OK circumstance to leave in (not that I have any choice) and hopefully I'll get to fuck him a couple more times this week.

Does anyone have any suggestions for making a tumblr and/or wordpress.com site look more professional? I'm working on mine, and I've Googled a ton of tutorials, but there's just so much out there so sometimes it gets a little crazy.

@mystique minimalist designs really work well, and it helps if you know a bit of HTML/study what you like. You can try to learn coding, but it's really really difficult to build a website from scratch...so I'd find a template that you already like and tweak minor elements of it, or inquire for a graphic designed inclined friend to help.

I just discovered that my cat is utterly freaked out by his reflection in my phone's screen (it's turned off to charge up faster). He leapt up onto the coffee table, started walking past the phone, looked down, and puffed up and started hissing at his reflection. When I moved the phone ever so slightly, he went flying off the table, taking an empty pint glass and a bunch of books and papers with him.

So I did what any rational person would do: I followed him into the other room and showed him his reflection in the phone again. He thanked me by punching my hand/the phone.

@phillystout My kittycat hates hates hates hates plastic bags. As soon as they come out and start rustling, he freezes and then coils up and then shoots across the apartment to the very very furthest corner possible. Later he comes sauntering in and pretends he wasn't scared of anything, ever.

@phillystout My cat is sometimes scared of smells. When it happens, she starts creeping low on the floor, sniffing really hard, toward the object in question, and bats at it very carefully with her paw (as if she expects it to explode suddenly). My girlfriend usually takes advantage of the situation by tapping the cat lightly on the butt or making a sudden movement – she jumps like a foot into the air and it's hilarious.

@phillystout My cat was afraid of the TV remote. I think this is because we once had a lower-quality vet do an emergency procedure on her, and he didn't sedate her before he came after her with the shaver. Forever after that, she'd give the remote a wide berth and we could send her practically through the roof by shooting the remote across the carpet at her.

@phillystout My current cat is terrified of the plush rabbit squeak toy that my other cat absolutely loved. After the first cat passed away, I eventually pointed out the rabbit was available but this cat was not having it. I made the mistake of squeaking it (something other cat recognized as an "it's about it get REAL" noise) and she completely freaked out. She won't go near it.

@ReginaSavage Next time, you could go to Barnes & Noble and watch the trains in the kids' section go around and around. An elementary school teacher friend tells me that nothing gets little kids pooping like trains.

Okay ladies, I need someone to talk me off the ledge a little bit right now!
Last night, I got back together with my ex. We had dated for a few months, and then broke up this winter. Since, we remained super close (though we got over each other romantically quite soon); texting almost daily, semi-regular gym dates, and generally hanging out a lot.
Recently, I realized I’d developed feelings for him again, and after several weeks of being a huge coward, I brought it up last night after we watched a movie at his house. We talked about things for about an hour, and though the conversation started out horribly – getting back together hadn’t crossed his mind, and he wasn’t sure if it would be any different than last time, somehow it ended with him suggesting that we give it a try. We made out, and though I’d initially meant to take it slow, we ended up sleeping together.
ANYWAY, this morning seemed normal – I had to leave early to make it to work, but we kissed goodbye and it was fine. But I have not heard from him all day! I texted him about something funny I saw, and then again a bit later asking if he had plans tonight, but…nothing! I have known him for almost a year and this is the longest time he has ever taken to respond to a text.

So: I would appreciate any and all tips on how to stay calm about this! How do I keep from freaking out? How do I distract myself until I hear from him? How do I respond if he says he’s not interested after all?

@gobblegirl Oh hugs! That sounds like a really tough situation. Um, here's my first thoughts: probably it's a really complicated process for you both, so maybe try being really clear all the time about what your expectations are (for your own benefit) so that you know what you want and what you are comfortable with. Then maybe lay all your cards on the table when you guys next meet up about what you're hoping for/expecting. I'm always a fan of hearing what I might not want to hear sooner rather than latter, and also, if y'all are on the same page about re-starting then dialogue is a great way to kick off a healthy relationship.

And maybe keep a journal and then confide about this to a close friend who can give you reality checks as needed? That's usually my response to emotional intensity.

As for distractions, I'd suggest something physical (run, swim, dance) with aforementioned close friend? Or an at home project (bleaching tile grout, painting a wall, whatever) that would be sufficiently consuming to create distraction. Those are my go-to options. Gardening is great too. Although, lately I've just been looking at my potted succulents and thinking, "Grow, damn you," which is not really much of a distraction or all that physically demanding....

@adorable-eggplant Thanks for the support! I do have a confidante, and you're right, it's a lifeline. As for the communication, we talked for aaaaaaaaaaaaaages last night and we are (or I thought?) very clear about our expectations and how we'll make it work.
I am just paranoid right now that he might have changed his mind (which is okay - I don't want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with me)...but it's the waiting that kills. The waiting and the SILENCE. ARRRRRRG.

Unfortunately, my physical activity of choice is with him! (No, not that you dirty girls). Good advice on the gardening, though - my plants do need to be thinned.

@gobblegirl Ahh, I know how that goes! I used to have terrible anxiety issues because I thought that if I could anticipate a problem, I could fix it and that if I could foresee something bad, then I could prepare myself to handle it better, but this just lead to a lot of dwelling on negative things, which was terrible.

And then my yoga teacher (who also happens to be a licensed counselor) told my class something about how your brain gets better at doing things it does often, ahem, worrying included. We did lots of meditation, especially the loving-kindness kind, and it motivated me to NOT worry. The same way I would NOT smoke a cigarette or something else harmful. Um, instead I will try to imagine something comforting and then embellish that daydream.

Also, sometimes I sing that George Harrison/Beatles song about nothing changing my world. It's a good reminder to chill out about all the possible bad stuff, which makes me sound like a hippy, so for the record I sing it silently to myself.

@gobblegirl people not responding to texts drives me totally bonkers. I don't even want to be That Person who gets all worked up about texts. But I just can't help it! I like reliability! And certainty! And people not responding it's like whyyyy did you not get mine? or did i not get yours? or have you not seen it yet? or you did see it and you just don't have time to respond, or you do have time to respond you just don't want to

and then my brain explodes and ugh, what the heck.

This has been, today's "Ask A Dumb Chick Who Rambles On About Herself Instead of Addressing Your Question At All"

(sorry! what i do when i'm waiting for a text is go for a long walk without my phone. or go run errands without my phone. or do anything that distances me from my phone)

@redheaded&crazie My best friends are all unreliable texters, so I've gotten used to it. I always pretend like they probably haven't seen it... even when I know they probably have. THE WORST is when I text someone to make plans and then give up and make other plans and then several hours later they text me back: "Hey, that sounds great."

@redheaded&crazie The problem is that he is normally a very reliable texter. I know there is something wrong – it might be small, like him trying to play it cool, or it might be big, like him not knowing how to say that he made a mistake. I am trying to concentrate on work, but it isn’t succeeding.
Thanks for listening, ladies, really. This is not really a problem anyone can help with, I am just fretting. When I get home (if I still haven't heard) I will have a nap, then go to the gym (without him). Maybe fit a little cry into the schedule if necessary. :(

@adorable-eggplant "Ahh, I know how that goes! I used to have terrible anxiety issues because I thought that if I could anticipate a problem, I could fix it and that if I could foresee something bad, then I could prepare myself to handle it better, but this just lead to a lot of dwelling on negative things, which was terrible."

YES! This is me! I think I took my girl scout motto of always being prepared way too far. Plus after tragic events, people would say, "I never thought this would happen to me..." So I guess my logic was, "Well, if I'm always prepared (ie anxious) about the worst thing happening, then it won't be so bad!" Except it is.

@Passion Fruit It's taken a lot of work to break myself of the anxiety habit, but it's been so totally worth it! Not that I'm not still an over-preparer/thinker, but it's a fine line, and I'm cool with having to constantly re-calibrate. Like I never go camping without my awesome first aid kit (compression bandages galore!) but I think there's (hard to recognize) difference between being prepared for something bad and being anxious about something that you can't control anyway.

@adorable-eggplant You're an over-preparer! How cute and productive! I wish I was like that; I tend to just worry myself into paralysis. So now I'm like, "It doesn't have to be perfect or complete. Even just bringing bandaids is helpful if you can't muster an entire first aid kit."

But, yes, I'm working on it. Glad to know it's not just me, that helps depersonalize it.

@Passion Fruit Yup! Depersonalizing is awesome! Plus, it's nice to think, "Hmm, this is a very natural instinct... maybe just turn it down a notch?" That usually make me feel better about my anxious tendencies. :)

Ladies: why do lady parts suck so much? I'm excessively paranoid about yeast infections/BV because I get them fairly often, and so every time I notice any slight discomfort I worry. But some of the time it turns out to be nothing and some of the time it actually is something! And I don't know how to deal with my paranoia, because I would also like to be having hot sex more and I can't do that when I have an infection, and even when I simply suspect it makes me second guess and worry. Ughhhhh. Help.

@tearsforaffairs ugh, you sound like me a few years ago - it seemed like taking care of YI would inevitably have me bounce back to BV, and then treating the BV would bounce me back to a YI, yadda yadda. Eventually I went more natural, using garlic cloves (don't laugh! it really helps!) at the first hint of a YI, and then dilute peroxide flushes for the BV, and I've been free of both of them (knock on wood) for over 2 years. My natural-oriented midwives told me it would be fine to do it as long as I stay tuned in to my symptoms - maybe talk it over with your practitioner?

@tearsforaffairs :( :( :( I had that for a while! For about nine months my ladyparts went nuts and I had a yeast infection like once every two weeks, to the point where I got allergic to the medication. It did calm down eventually, though, and seriously, trying not to worry about it helps a lot! I don't know if you can get it in the US, but here in the UK you can get something called RepHresh, which you squirt up yourself and it balances the pH, which takes care of a LOT of random, not-very-meaningful minor discomforts. I think it made a difference to my being more comfortable in the long run!

I have no help, just sympathy. I had a yeast infection for almost TWO YEARS, and, dear lord, that sucked (fissures! OW!). My then-partner also had it, and it made sexytimes way less sexy. Now every time I feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, I freak out, too.

I highly recommend boric acid capsules (I know, putting roach killer in your vag sounds way sketchy, but it's apparently just the right pH) for yeasties.) You need to wear a pad or something, but it's the only thing that works for me.

@tearsforaffairs Are you on the pill or nuva ring? Just I had YI for years, went off the pill and hey presto! Gone! (well, after treatment) Went on nuva ring, and back it came. Haven't had YI since my man got snipped.

@Third Wave Housewife thirding. Get ye to a bulk natural food store, pick up some bulk boric acid and a bag of gelcaps, and head to town. It's literally the only thing that knocks the yeastie beasties out for me. (Garlic gave me superficial relief, but never actually fixed anything.)

@tearsforaffairs I would also recommend considering a diet that eliminates sugar, grains, and dairy. It kinda sucks at first bu tthen it's awesome because you feel SO MUCH better throughout your entire body. This cookbook changed my life (sorry, I don't know how to do HTML): http://www.amazon.com/Candida-Albican-Yeast-Free-Cookbook-Yeast-Related/dp/0658002929/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339187371&sr=1-3

@Xanthophyllippa Put it in at bedtime, and take it out in the morning. You can cut slits in it or cut it in half to make it more efficient, but it also burns more if you cut it. My old roommate recommended a garlic douche, but I don't know anything about that.

@tearsforaffairs Anyone who is prone to yeast infections should NEVER reuse bath towels or washcloths! Never ever ever! And the towels should be washed in hot water with bleach (for white ones) or at least a full cup of white vinegar (for colored ones). Sheets and undies, too, as well as anything else that comes in contact with your nethers.

I've just started sleeping with this guy who is NOT MY TYPE AT ALL and I'm kind of weirded out by how unattracted I am to his facebook photos to how quickly my pants come off when we're alone together! Um, it's sort of good, but unsettling?

@glitterary I know what that's like, but sometimes it's a good change to sleep with different types of people! I've met and slept with a boy who, if I only knew from the internet, I would have never, ever, ever suspected I would like. But he's very sweet in person and all of that other stuff (unlikely interests, bad taste etc) sort of fades away as long as you're having fun when you're together! :)

@tearsforaffairs @Jade @gobblegirl Very good points! And "have more sex with more people" was legit one of my New Year's Resolutions--in fact, it was my ONLY New Year's Resolution--I guess I just wasn't expecting it to happen!

@WaityKatie Yes, that's what it's like! Though I'm quite sure I don't think Steve Buscemi is hot. But I know what you mean! I... I can't really tell whether he's hot, or if he's just very good at playing the guitar. I get those two mixed up, sometimes. (FUCK ME, he's hot when he's playing his guitar.)

We (my boyfriend and I) just got back from a long vacation (the biggest trip we've taken as a couple). Everyone is so surprised we did not get engaged. We've certainly been talking about it a lot lately, but we aren't planning on having a big wedding, and I've already told him I don't need a grand gesture proposal and a giant diamond. So what I'm saying is that I'd like to hear about The Best Time You and Your SO Just Decided It Was Time to Get Married and Jewelry Wasn't Really A Thing.

@phipsi Congrats on vacations and also being Comfortable With Who You Are!

Mr. pomegranate and I were on a walk through Prospect Park and he said, "So...my next job might be overseas. I like surprising you but I thought you probably wanted to talk about marriage before I surprised you with a ring, right?" And then we agreed that yes, we will get married, probably in a few months or maybe a year, and we definitely do not want a big wedding, and jewelry is really Not A Big Thing. And then we went and drank wine. <3 <3 <3

@dj pomegranate
Me: If we decide to get married but don't do engagement rings, will people think we're friggin' hippies?
Friend: Yes, but it doesn't matter.
Other Friend: We're throwing you an engagement party regardless. You can come if you want.

@phipsi We didn't have a proposal. He just asked me one day (2+ years before the time we'd already decided we would probably get married) if I wanted him to propose or if I wanted to just decide mutually it was time to get engaged. I picked the latter, but we didn't actually get engaged/tell anyone we knew the plan for another 6 months. It was particularly entertaining when one of my dude's friends tried to get me to believe he was going to propose. At that point, we picked out a (non-diamond) ring together, but mostly it was so our family would have something to get excited about.

I am all over the non-proposals. Really, I think it's great to be able to have a first big trip without the weight of all these expectations around it. I hope you had an awesome time!!

@phipsi Ooh, this is totally my life. My now-husband and I had just moved to Chicago together and one afternoon we were laying on our inflatable mattress in our brand new apartment, and he said, "so.... would you marry me?..... someday?" and I said, "wait, is this a proposal?" and he nodded and I asked if he had a ring, but he didn't and I realized I WAS OKAY WITH THAT and then we were casually engaged for two years (or was it three?) before we got married, and that was awesome. And I really went back and forth on the engagement ring, because I both did and didn't want one - I didn't want one because of all the obvious historical implications of inequality yaddayaddayadda, but I did want one because I LOVE NICE JEWELRY and it seemed like a great excuse. Also, I will admit to allowing myself to be shamed by my grandparents who were really offended by the social impropriety of him proposing without a ring. But, once I realized that was their own generational bullshit and nothing that mattered to me irl, I got over it. We have matching wedding bands that are awesome, and I like that we both have the same symbols of our commitment. I have another friend couple - they both bought bands for each other as engagement rings and both wore them, then right before the wedding had something engraved on the inside to symbolically change their form a little, but used the same (but different!) bands as wedding bands. Bascially, IT'S YOUR LIFE do what feels right to you, but - if you secretly really want a ring.... make sure you assert yourself and don't end up resentful and ringless!

@liverwortlaura I do want some sort of ring, but it doesn't have to be 3 month's salary/goin' down to Tiffany's type of ring. And I don't necessarily need/want an engagement ring, but I'd like a basic wedding band.

@phipsi My boyfriend and I talk about getting married a lot (he brings it up more than I do). Nothing is decided, because I don't feel ready to get engaged so young (22), but I think we're both reasonably clear that it's very likely to happen eventually, so casual discussions about it happen all the time.

First open thread post (I should really start spending more of my free work time on here).

Just a general vent session about lack of available media jobs in NYC, even for qualified folks like me! Must I send my resume via flaming darts for you to get the message?

I did have not one but two interviews with a small company whose owners seemed really eager to hire and who explicitly said I met all of their standards. Sure enough, they told me I would hear back and have since not returned calls or emails. Is it wrong of me to expect to be treated with at least a shred of dignity for taking my lunch break to go down there and speak with them? Also, that's totally poor business! So frustrating...

@HeyMatilda I've been job searching for a while and at first I was totally appalled at the number of people who don't bother contacting you at all after submitting your materials. How hard is it to at least send a form letter?

Although, after two interviews, it's super shitty to drop off the planet. How long has it been since the interviews? They could just be going slow, or they could be assholes. Think of it this way: you probably don't want to work with people who don't have the decency to communicate directly with folks they've interviewed. It's a big red flag in my book.

@lizzle I've totally gotten used to submitting everything and never hearing back at all because it doesn't seem like employers use their website application pools anyway. It was definitely crappy of them to insinuate that all of our needs matched if they weren't planning on following through with the deal.

And you're totally right: I DON'T want to work for people like that. It was already going to be a cut for me because I would be losing benefits from my current job but I was willing to do it. I did, however, have some weird internal feeling that it wasn't the right choice and I couldn't put my finger on why I wouldn't want it. Now I know why!

I've been thinking about purchasing a sewing machine for sort of general, (and I'd imagine) light-duty tasks like hemming pants, maybe throwing together some quick curtains or a skirt. I havent sewn since highschool home ec class (like 15 years ago); and honestly even then, I sort of cheated and had my cousin thread the machine for me. So Im concerned with getting a sewing machine that is simple enough for me to be able to use on my own, yet advanced enough that I'll be able to actually repair and/or make things with it, all while being on the cheaper side of the spectrum (I'd like to be below $150 at the absolute highest).

So, point of my question is - Does anyone have any suggestions for what I should look for in a sewing machine, feature-wise or specific-model-wise?

@Katiesaurous If you're not opposed to getting a used machine, look for one on Craigslist. I got a basic model Simplicity for $30. If you just want to make curtains and hem pants, you really only need the straight stitch.

@Katiesaurous Look for a used one! I picked up a 1960's Kenmore for $48 at a vintage store last spring and it is the best.

The new ones at department stores in that price range mostly have plastic parts, which break. Older machines are made of metal and don't break. You don't need any digital fancy whatsits for what you want to do - the two basic stitches are straight and zigzag, which just about every machine can do and which will cover 99% of what you want to do.

@phlox Shit, I had a my mom's old one that I carried around with me through several moves but never learned how to use. I may have finally thrown it away a couple months ago. It was super heavy and had extra crazy stitches like ducks and flowers. And it was pink!

@Katiesaurous My best piece of advice is to not buy the cheapest machine you can find. With sewing machines, the cheaper the machine, the less you will enjoy sewing because you'll be constantly fighting with the machine. Don't even bother with the ones they sell at Target, it will not be money well-spent.

It sounds like you're mostly looking to do straight stitch, so your machine doesn't really need all the bells and whistles. If you can, try to buy a machine from a specialist company, not a Kenmore or something. In my experience, current Singer machines aren't really all that great. Maybe try Janome. I think they have a couple of simple, not too expensive machines, maybe the 2212 model or the 2206. It might not be fancy, but it will probably do what you need it to do.

Edited to add: Yes, used machines are good, but sometimes need a little TLC (I sew with a machine older than I am.) If there is a quilt store near you, they can usually do a machine "tune up" for you for under $100.

@WhiskeySour Im with you on the 'not the cheapest machine' bit. At first, I thought one of those really cheap machines might be best for me, seeing as Im not looking to do anything complicated; but once I started reading reviews of people talking about how soon they break, I started looking elsewhere.

@WhiskeySour Sewers: where do you find your patterns? Or do you make your own? Is that a thing? I feel like I would like to be able to make my own clothes but my only familiarity with patterns are, like, the ones my mom used to use, which were all sort of weird unstylish things from the 70's. Like mom clothes from the 70's, or kids' clothes. Are there patterns for chic dresses that I can make actually fit me by using my very own measurements?

@WaityKatie For patterns, there are the big companies: Butterick, Simplicity, and McCalls. Vogue patterns makes cute stuff, but even their easiest patterns assume you know pretty much everything about sewing. There are also a lot of independent pattern companies, which, awesome! But the other three are the most common and are more aimed towards beginners and are available at Joann's and Hancock Fabrics. You must (Must!) measure yourself before you buy patterns! Clothing patterns are sized completely differently than the clothes you buy at the store. Like, so far different, it's shocking. But yes, there are very cute dress patterns. Most patterns won't be to your exact measurements, but you can get close.

If you don't have a ton of experience sewing, it might be worth your while to start with something more simple than a dress, like an a-line skirt you like. Something like this: http://butterick.mccall.com/b4461-products-5546.php?page_id=367
It looks a bit mumsy, but remember, picking out a fabric you totally love will make it awesome. Doing a simple project first will help you get used to how pattern instructions are formatted. And you only have to worry about one measurement, the waist measurement and maybe the hip if you are super hourglass-shaped. Plus, I feel that starting with a simpler project will help foster enjoyment of sewing, since it takes less time to end up with something you can show off and be proud of. Also, patterns go on sale at Joann's and Hancock's for, like, $0.99 on the regular, so don't bother with full price. Maybe we should do a Hairpin sew-along!

@WhiskeySour Oh my god a sew-along RIGHT NOW. This is going to be my summer of learning to sew for real - I can do things like curtains and tablecloths and pajama pants with basic fabrics and straight seams, but I want to get up to the next level and make things that I might wear outside the house.

@Katiesaurous my mom got me a Brother CS6000i "Sew Easy, Sew Affordable" (ha!) for my birthday, Amazon shows $150. I hadn't sewn for a while and it was very easy to start up and just get sewing. It came with lots of accessories and directions on different stitches I have no idea how to do (right now). I have only sewn three pillows and one shirt so far but I would recommend it! (Disclaimer I am definitely a sewing novice)

DUDES let's have a sewalong, because, let's face it, I am never going to sew anything without peer pressure/support. Is there a project we'd like to do? I keep meaning to make Roman shades for my windows, but I keep procrastinating on it. Also, I fully intend to make a wrap dress. Eventually.

@Katiesaurous There has been a Bernina in my family that is as old as me. It is my sewing machine twin, and in all the time that it's been used, I've only had to have it serviced once.

P.S. SEWALONG! There was just a 50% off sale at the fabric store so I have many things, and damn, Simplicity's Lisette and Cynthia Rowley patterns are just really hitting my clothing buttons right now.

@districter No need for the disclaimer! Im a complete novice, too, so Im absolutely looking for opinions and hoping to learn from the experience of other novices. Like I mentioned upthread, once you start researching, there are just SO MANY options that it has become a bit overwhelming to me.. Makes me start wishing for someone to just tell me what to do

@Katiesaurous I am a sewing novice so tak amy advice with a grain of salt! I took a little sewing machine workshop and the very nice girl who taught the class said that if you want to buy a machine, you should avoid Singer unless you are buying an older model. I guess they got bought by Sears or someone and are now poor quality machines with a good reputation brand name. In her class we used a Janome model that I ended up scouting out used online because I really liked one feature- it had a needle speed control on the machine (most machines are controlled only by the amount of foot pressure). For me, this was so helpful because I was concentrating too hard on all the other pieces that I wasn't consistently maintaining a speed, and I could just set it on the super slowest and feel okay. Definitely worth considering, I'm very happy with it! I got it used for about $100.

@Katiesaurous If you buy a used machine, make sure it comes with a manual, or that you can get it online. If you are new to sewing, see if fabric/sewing machine stores offer lessons. A good thing to look for in a machine is, if it's basic, can you figure out how to troubleshoot pretty easily? How hard is it to adjust the tension? Fill or change the bobbin? Change stitch length?

In addition to a straight forward stitch, I would consider making sure it comes with button hole foot, zipper foot, and an easy zig zag stitch to finish fraying seams.

Buy a good pair of scissors, and never use them for anything but cutting fabric.

@PistolPackinMama Thanks.. It seems like a class of some sort would be in order - especially as I knew I'd want some sort of buttonhole-sewing feature, but I didnt know I'd need a specific foot to make that happen!

Has anyone ever had to take a psych evaluation for a job? I just finished second round interviews and now I need to take an IPAT test. I guess it's supposed to measure my personality and predict what kind of manager I'll be? They weren't really too clear when they explained it. Anyone have any insight?

@lizzle Yes! I actually am in the field that creates measures that IPAT uses.
My official stance - be mostly honest. If you fill it out in such a way that you've totally just pretended to be somebody you're not, and then they hire you based on your false answers, chances are the company is not a good match for YOU and you will hate it there and/or not do as well there as you would elsewhere. Everyone always forgets to think about these things as helpful to the applicant as well, and really only thinks about "Oh God I have to answer these all 'right' so they hire me!" Exaggerate a touch if you must, but don't just totally take it filling in the stuff you think they want to hear. That will lead to bad things.
That said, if there are any questions about lying or stealing, do not say you do those things, even if you shoplifted once when you were twelve.
Oh and also, again be honest even if it means you have to sound like you're bragging a little in the questions. If you're good at something or tend to do something well (e.g. problem-solving, working under pressure, etc) and it is asking about that, it's ok to say you do it really well!

@HeyThatsMyBike Thanks for the tips! I am not really planning on being dishonest but they really didn't give me any information on what kinds of questions would be asked so I had no idea what to expect. And even if I had ever shoplifted, I'd probably not admit it! :)

And another thing: I finished Columbine last night and was rewarded with yet another nightmare! Almost the entire terrifying event was in this one!

It's a great book but some people said (in other comment threads) that there's an addendum in the paperback that includes Dave Cullen's interviews with all four parents of the killers. This is not the case. He interviewed the parents of two, separate victims that met with the parents (separately... as in, one victim's parent with on killer's parental set and another victim's parent with the other killer's parental set... if that makes any sense). And then he wrote about those meetings in a narrative way. Still good and worth getting the paperback version for, but not an interview with the four parents.

Remember to submit to pinpets.tumblr.com!
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I do have it set to require approval by me as the moderator, but I promise you that's not out of some wacky sense of needing to control everything, I was just trying to be cautious about where we were getting submissions from. So if you submit a post, and don't see it right away, that's why - I try to log in at least once a day to check for new submissions, tidy them up if need be, and approve/publish.

After yesterday's wardrobe help post, I had a nightmare about thrifting some of my favorite sandals. I don't even care about shoes that much, but I was really upset about giving these away (way more than I would be IRL). Also, I need someone to come teach me to dress like a grown-up.

Also also, I BOUGHT A BIKE. I rode it once and didn't die! My crotch is bruised, but otherwise, YAY. I'm not ready for the road yet, and I felt like an idiot riding circles in the school parking lot, but I stayed upright!

@che yay bikes! When I went to get a nicer saddle for my last bike (not Scout, who came with the best saddle ever), the distractingly attractive saleslady made a bunch of references to my "soft tissue" bruising, and I finally told her, "it's okay, I went to a women's college, you can say crotch."

@che YAY BIKES. After getting some great advice on the open thread a couple weeks ago, I bought a Globe hybrid and I could not be more excited (OK, I could be if I could convince my dude to ride with me). I even managed to bike/train-commute to work one day this week.

It totally gets easier. In just 2 weeks, I've gotten a lot more confidence about riding.

@arrr starr YAY. I have not ridden in, I don't know, 20 years? (I am 26, so...) But it actually went much better than I expected! I wish I had done more research - I just got a road bike, and I maybe paid more than I should have (it was used, but basically new) - but she's comfortable and came with all the commuting accessories, and is also a decent brand, so I like her.

@stonefruit Ha! I went to medical school, so I am sometimes a little too blunt, but, eh. Crotch! Also, what saddle do you recommend???

@che I had barely ridden since I was a kid (maybe 12 or 13, and I'm 29 now... with a couple of short rides on visits home since). I'd also not ridden a bike the right size since I had training wheels, so that REALLY helped.

I think that if you're happy with the bike you have, it's definitely nothing to worry about. I didn't do as much research as I could have either, and maybe I overpaid a bit or could have gotten a better deal used, but at this point it's money spent and I'm happy I spent it.

@che I have a leather Brooks saddle and love it, but a lot of people insist they're uncomfortable. I actually bought my bike used on CL so it was already worn in for me which helped a lot -- I took it in to get serviced once and the lady working on my bike told me how she's never gotten the appeal of those seats until she rode mine. I also think they look super fly, but they're spendy.

@klaus I'll have to check that out once I get into commuting far. Those ARE pretty sexy looking.

@arrr starr AH, that's good to hear! I like hearing these success stories! I'd been saying "Oh man I don't know how to ride a bike" for years, but I must have picked up more than I realized back in the day. (My last bike incident was probs 12 or 13, too, and I was riding my brother's bike - he's 5 years younger - so, yeah. I think the last bike that fit me had Minnie Mouse on it.)

@PistolPackinMama I think maybe I'm too similar to this week's Jane post, as a wanna-be androgynous girl who's trying to start wearing skirts again. But maybe Google Groups! Someone told me this week, "Well, you certainly have your own style," and I think it was a compliment, but I'm not sure? Purple, green, and orange (usually together) are the basics of my wardrobe, so it could go either way.

@PistolPackinMama
Re: wardrobe... There's this girl at work who is like... a 13 year old boy in 20 year old woman's body, and she's a pain in the ass, but I feel slightly maternal toward her. Anyway, today I said something about wearing a skirt, and she was all, "YOU WEAR SKIRTS? You can't wear skirts, you're a les-bro" (which apparently means a soft butch). A year ago I would have felt like I need to butch up my wardrobe again, but this time, I just said, "Fuck that, I can wear my brightly colored skirts and men's underwear because *I* get to determine my gender presentation, friend."

(I feel a lot of pressure to be more masculine. Femininity is really devalued by a lot of queer ladies.)

@che I would have slugged anyone who referred to me as a "les-bro" to begin with, even before they voiced an expectation/regulation about my wardrobe.

If you want skirts that are cute but still sporty (and if you have the cash, because they're expensive), check out the ones at Title Nine. I have two little ones I got there last year (two of the same style in different colors) that are adorbs. REI also has nice skirts, and their store brand is a lot cheaper than some of the same styles in, say, PrAna or something like that.

@PistolPackinMama @Xanthophyllippa THIS KID! 75% of the time I want to (and do) tell her to fuck off, but I also feel kind of mama-dyke about her, like I should push her to start acting a little more like an adult. I was probably also obnoxious at 20, though... maybe never that obnoxious.

CUTE CLOTHES, oh man! You guys totally nailed my style.

I think it was a compliment, but I had a migraine all last week and I was dressed not-very-well. I will pretend she was talking only about the adorable handmade skirt I had on from the Portland Saturday Market and take it as a compliment :P

I have to go to a costume party at the end of the month - basically we're being asked to dress up as our favourite era. I would probably already do something mod (I love mod clothes although I don't own any), but as I have a pair of white (costume) go-go boots that I should probably use again, what can I wear with them? Could I wear the boots with a regular mod-style dress, or would I have to be a go-go girl again? I have long (shoulder-blade length) hair and I'm not sure what to do with that either.

Flatiron your hair super straight (or put it up in very high back combed twist), wear a minidress (ideally with a dropped waist or a color-blocked t-shirt style) and pale fishnets. Tah dah -- you're one of Megan's friends at Don's birthday party on MAD MEN.

I'm feeling proffessionally crapped on today. I found out who the eight people were who were selected for a show I should have been goddamn invited to be in, and my work kicks the ass of at least three of them. The three people I am thinking of also happen to be best pals with the curator. BAH!!! *Slams bedroom door and sulks for three days*

so things are a bit on the up and up in crazytown! after licking my wounds for a few days, i hit the ol okcupid and other things, that i do, and and and i met a really cute guy that i like talking to, who actually texts me back on time, and oh god he's like four years younger than me hahahahahaahaaaaaaahaha and kind of cocky. I always go for cocky guys.

anyways um yay? I also have a date with a different guy on sunday but even though i told him that i'm not dating anybody exclusively right now i feel like he's way more into it than i am and i don't know how to handle that cuuz i wanna go out with him on sunday! but maybe just for the sake of going out on dates which I like to do. and the date he planned sounds fun! so maybe after that i might have to be like sorry dude?

also i want to add that this guy whose cradle i'm robbing is like, super communicative and up front about what he wants and ahhhhhhhh the route i was going down the last few months was the wrong route. I SEE THE LIGHT

@realtalk i dunno :( this one goes back to school at the end of the summer so i can't say i have much long-term hope. but it's nice to know that such dudes exist (I mean I KNOW that ... but it's nice to see it in action i suppose)

@redheaded&crazie yeah, confirmation of their actual existence is nice. sigh. i might be going out for drinks this weekend with someone from circles? (which is a dating website that not many people know about/more people should know about) so wish me luck because i'm scared and also excited? it might be too soon after my breakup to start seeing other people, but MAYBE IT'S NOT??? and I just want cute boys and butch girls to hold my hand and tell me I'm pretty and make out with me

@punkahontas Hey punkahontas! Would you tell me more about your experience with the Clarisonic brush? I actually have one but use it only sporadically because it gives me tiny whiteheads. Did your skin freak out in the beginning and then become luminous and beautiful? Or did it work wonderfully right off the bat?

Late to the game today, in a meeting with my advisor most of the afternoon that broke down approximately like this: talking about my work 20%, gossiping about colleagues 50%, discussing tim horton's donuts 15%, discussing other donuts 5%, talking about pre-wedding rituals like eating giant pepperoni sticks 5%, discussing the mulberry pie I will bring to our next meeting 5%. HAPPY FRIDAY!!

@Xanthophyllippa he's fantastic as a person, and have many traits that could be endearing, but as an advisor are sometimes a little lacking - a bit flaky. But, generally, he IS way cool. ONTO WEEKEND REVISIONS

hum. mr teenie has his semi-annual project ramping into full gear, so i'll be home by myself for a bit before he comes home for Date Night, and I'm thinking of trying the upside down french braid with the little knob on top from the slide show the other day, because my hair is just now probably maybe long enough to do that with?
Otherwise I have bridesmaid dress shopping tomorrow! I'm making brunch for my ladies, bringing bubbly and juice for mimosa's then we're hitting the town to find a dress for everyone, or not, but we'll at least have fun. And one of my besties is coming to town for it and it makes me feel so happy. She and I are like Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph in bridesmaids which Mr. Teenie says "ALL GIRLS PROBABLY SAY THAT" but it's true we really are!

@teenie i really want to know how that upside down french braid thing works for you. I loved that look so much and i always wear my hair in a top knot thing in the summer so it would be soooo perfeccct but I have no idea how to achieve it.

I had a dream last night about cheesecake tacos, and now I'm trying to think of how to make them IRL. I think it'd involve pre-baking a graham cracker/oreo cookie "taco shell", and then I'd have to modify the cheesecake recipe somewhat, BUT STILL. Million-dollar idea? Just might be.

@Heat Signature Now I'm starving for cheesecake tacos and they don't even exist yet!!! Though maybe a cannoli would do it. If there was a way to make a cannoli shell taste more graham-y, I bet it would be perfect.