Like this:

Lance is a good guy, despite his questionable football tastes. And Lance has long had the hots for Danica Patrick. And hey, who can blame him? She has a bit of the bad girl vibe, incredible eyes, georgeous hair, and does bikini shoots well.

So, when Danica decided to do NASCAR, Lance swooned. So, Lance, tonights Daley Gator Daley Babe is for you

Lancenotes my saluteto him and accuses me of just doing this for hits? Excuse me sir? Would I do such a thing? I am shocked frankly.

Lance also ponders if Bama running back Mark Ingram will win the Heisman. Stacy McCain has been stumping for Ingram, even threatening togo Al Sharpton on America if Ingram does not win.

If Mark Ingram doesn’t win the Heisman Trophy, it’sracism. . . .
Both Tim Tebow and Corey Colt lost their shot at the Heisman Trophy [Saturday] night. Alabama’s never had a Heisman. If Mark Ingram doesn’t get the Heisman now, I’d join any Heisman protest Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would care to lead.

Personally, I think Ingram SHOULD win the award, but Stacy McCain should realize that if Ingram wins he will be the second Sophomore ever to win it. The first? Tim Tebow, who also has two, yes TWO national title under his belt. If Ingram does not win the Heiman? Failure! If his team loses to Texas? Double failure. Of course, Bama will uphold the superiority of the SEC. They will whip the Horns! And then, next year, they will assume their rightful position, behind the mighty Gators!

Doug of The Daley Gator, Stacy of The Other McCain, and Carol of No Sheeples Here are having an intra-conference spat about the upcoming S.E.C. Championship game next week. Stacy and Carol are Alabama fans while Doug is a Florida fan. They seem to think that this game is tantamount to the national championship as they consider the S.E.C. to be the top conference in the nation.

What they fail to realize is that the B.C.S. computer model is the spittin’ image of the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit’s anthropocentric global warming model program. It’s rigged to help the S.E.C. keep a high self-esteem.

Yep, that is right, the SEC IS the best conference in college football, and yes, we, as Stacy McCain notes are like a big family, we might hate each other, but, we do not take kindly to anyone else talking trash about us, yes, even a Gator fan like me, will defend Georgia, or Auburn, from a Pac-10 or Big Ten attack.

Allow me to continue blistering Steve: The Harris Poll has Florida topping the rankings at No.1 with Alabama coming in at No. 3, the Legends Poll ranks Alabama No.1 followed by Florida at No. 2 and the BCS Standings follows suit with the same placement in the rankings.

In none of the five polls mentioned above do Steve’s beloved Wisconsin Badgers appear. Steve and his brother Lance were crestfallen when Brett Favre left the Packers. This alone would account for his snarkiness regarding real football.

When Steve sought to stir the pot by saying there is no shortage of tools in the SEC, I think it is appropriate for me to point out that a cheesehead has no business calling anyone a “tool”, if you know what I mean and I think you do!

I don’t want to call Steve EVIL but I will IF I HAVE TO because we already know that Doug is EVIL. Stay classy, Steve old boy, stay classy.

Now, the whole “evil” comment is not hurtful, because I know it is delivered with SEC love. Just like I can say something like, how do you get a one-armed Bama fan out of a tree? You wave at them. See, a loving jab.

As a final indication of how SEC love works, I recall last year’s Cotton Bowl game, between Texas Tech, and Ole Miss Rebels. As the game wound down, and the Rebels fans began chanting “SEC, SEC, SEC…” The next day, the local sports talk station here in Dallas could not understand why Rebel fans would chant that. That is SEC love, we fight like Hell AGAINST each other, then root like Hell FOR each other against other conferences.

So, IF, Bama were to defeat Florida next Saturday, I would pull like Hell for the Tide to roll Texas. Likewise, WHEN we beat Bama, I know their fans will pull for us to dust the Horns! That is right Carol, you and RS McCain get your orange and blue pom poms out!