Sunday, November 20, 2011

Master Of My (Dating) Domain

At this point in my life, I can safely say that I am the master of many of the domains of which I am in charge. I am the master of my home. I am the master of my career. I am the master of masturbation. What am I not the master of? My dating life.

For women such as myself, why do we allow this? We take charge to get what we want. When we want it. We won't take no for an answer. Why, then, do we allow our precious dating lives to rest in the hands of men? Why do we give them the power?

Let's face it: Most men initiate dating and that is great. Most men initiate sex and that is great, too. While men initiate dating (phew!), most men do not initiate taking a relationship to the next level. Or the level after that. Of the women I know who are in relationships, all of them have to had initiate the excruciating 'exclusivity' talk. Once that has been established, it typically rests on the woman to initiate the 'are we boyfriend/girlfriend?' talk. Why, god, why?!

Men: It seems as though you want to date women. It certainly seems that you want to have sex. Some of you seem to want to have sex with one woman exclusively. Why, why, why doesn't it occur to you to make it a sure thing? Once asked, many guys seem to think it's a great idea.

Women: What are the rules around this? Are we supposed to initiate the dreaded discussions?? Do we continue to hold out hopefully and wait for our men to start these super-important sermons???

As Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger insists, women should never 'give it up' before having the exclusivity chat. Is it even possible in this day and age? Will men stick around that long or will they give up and escort elsewhere?! Men have no problems picking their favourite beer and having long relationships with it. They typically have to be torn away from their Playstation or Xbox consoles.. They have no problem picking their favourite pornos and developing disgustingly devoted relationships with that...!

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About Me

I am a 30-something, SATC-loving (though I also strongly identify with Bridget Jones) singleton living in a cosmopolitan city with fabulous friends and a supportive family. I am using this space to dish about the complex matters of dating, mating and relating.
I welcome your feedback and encourage you to share your stories.