Producers to do away with making a movie with Salman Khan, to release 3D posters in theaters

Mumbai. Buoyed by the success of Salman Khan’s script-less blockbusters, producers have decided to do away with the requirement of actually releasing a movie starring Salman Khan and release bhai’s 3D posters in the theaters instead.

Speaking from his office, prominent producer, Balwinder Chaddha – once a Dawood Ibrahim henchman – told this Faking News reporter that “making a movie with Salman is too much kaam-shaam jee.”

What a performance by bhai!

So the next movie starring Salman, he said, would simply be a 3D poster projected on theater screens across India.

“We also considered making a PowerPoint presentation with pictures of bhai in them,” Chaddha added, “But some of the MBAs we had hired last year told us that it would be more cost effective to simply release a poster.”

“It’s not just a poster, mind you,” he added. “It will be a 3D poster. Moviegoers and bhai’s fans will be able to stare at the poster and all its 3D depth for three hours with music from his movies playing in the background. This way with an investment of about ten thousand rupees, we will be able to make a profit of 100 Crores.”

Responding to a question from this reporter, Chaddha said, “No no… the poster itself will not move… It will be like those Jai Mata Di holographic stickers my kids stick on their school copies. Thoda sar hilaoge toh alag dikhega (you have to shake your head to see different variants).”