Robert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an
American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and
film actor. From his beginnings at the Harvard Lampoon while
attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and
articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, and his
acclaimed short films, Benchley's style of humor brought him respect and
success during his life, from New York City and his peers at the
Algonquin Round Table to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.

Benchley is best remembered for his contributions to The New Yorker,
where his essays, whether topical or absurdist, influenced many modern
humorists. He also made a name for himself in Hollywood, when his short
film How to Sleep was a popular success and won Best Short
Subject at the 1935 Academy Awards, and his many memorable appearances
in films such as Alfred Hitchcock's Foreign Correspondent and a
dramatic turn in Nice Girl. His legacy includes written work and
numerous short film appearances. (Click
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is
supposed to be doing.

Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just
a bit unchivalrous.

Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather
than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by
purists.

I am the oldest living white man, especially at seven in the morning.

I take it for granted that I am growing older, although, except for a
slight arteriosclerosis and an inability to hear, I would never know it.

I think that if I had it all to do over again (and it looks now as if it
wouldn't be a bad idea), I would go in more for manual labor.

In America there are two classes of travel- first class, and with
children. Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third
class in Bulgaria.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing,
but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding,
he sings.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or
perhaps.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him.

There are no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze
Humor.

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who
constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those
who do not.

Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being
impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what
we are talking about.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly
difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.