Government To Allow Investors To Negatively Gear Avocados

The Turnbull Government is considering a proposal that would allow investors to negatively gear their purchases of avocados as a measure to help allow first time avocado buyers enter the market.

Treasurer Scott Morrison spoke to The (un)Australian about the proposal, saying: “Look, Labor wants to abolish negative gearing but not us, as we feel that it helps people more than it harms.”

“Take avocados for instance if you own one and can negatively gear another one that creates demand, which will in turn lead to an increased supply. Then there will be avocados for everyone.”

When it was put to the Treasurer that an increase in demand would lead to an increase in price, the Treasurer refuted this, saying: “Young people who want to enter the avocado market need to lower their standards. You don’t just jump in by buying smashed avocado on toast. Why not try going to the fruit markets and buying a bruised avocado?”

When asked for further comment Treasurer Scott Morrison asked us to direct all enquiries through his new housing advisor, Con ‘The Fruiterer.’