Finally: Someone Has Made Cocktail Bitters Out of Human Tears

Sam Bompas and Harry Parr, the gonzo artists who already gave the world breathable alcohol, among plenty of even more ridiculous things, will next corner the market on distilled tears. They’re hosting a London workshop series next week that gives participants the chance to have teardrops extracted, pasteurized, and then tinctured into bottles of bitters — get it? Perfect for when the dash of Angostura lacks that salty complexity, they can be customized to the owner’s liking using an array of aromatics.

Bompas and Parr suggest turning them into a holiday gift (“the gift of you”), and are also offering sessions on making ornamental jewelry from hair.