Thursday, February 23, 2012

Just Anger? Justified Anger?

How about fucking furious?

At 3:00 AM this morning, I abruptly awoke with my mind racing, staring at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep. I could only think about all of the things I've learned and became aware of in the past decade.

I've been working my ass off for a couple of months now, and I had put in another 10 hour day yesterday, then went to the dojo and trained martial arts for a couple more. I had 3 beers for dinner, and sat down with a 4th for dessert as I logged on to do a little reading of teh interwebz before going to sleep in preparation for another day of hard work in the hot Hawaiian sun.

Sleep has been vital to keeping my energy up to handle my new life.

Yet here I am, unable to go back to sleep and get the rest I so badly need for the day ahead because I can't stop thinking about what I read last night, Dalrock's A case for anger.

I echo the question Dalrock asks of the people mystified by the so called "anger" problem of the manosphere:

I’ll pose the same question back to Ms. Duffy and the commenters who are troubled by the fact that people are angry with the gross injustice which is being done to men, children, and the very institution of marriage: Why don’t you care? Why aren’t you angry?

I've been angry for years. Sometimes it feels like the potential for unhinged rage. Mostly, it's kept subsumed and hidden, only to find expression when I hear the muse to write something again.
Much of the source of inspiration for 5 years of blogging here and writing for The Spearhead, In Mala Fide and commenting all over the manosphere is driven by this anger.

Anger at a system and a society that indoctrinates us all to believe that we live in the greatest civilization in the history of mankind because we are a society founded on freedom and justice...and yet you wake up one day and SEE quite plainly the destruction and havoc it wreaks on the personal lives of the people you know and love.

You bet the denizens that make up this thing we call the "manosphere" are angry.

To not feel anger at the current situation is inhuman.

I first discovered the MRA/MGTOW blogosphere years ago after I watched my Ex-Aunt desert her family, file for divorce, take my Uncle to the cleaners to cavort with a bad boy motorcycle thug. I literally saw the joy, happiness and vitality for life disappear from the faces of my younger cousins. I saw my Uncle left destitute, heart broken and alone.

Before my Ex-Aunt pulled the trigger and destroyed her family, I lived with them for about 3 months. During that time, my nephews and nieces were a pure joy to be around and play with. I used get awoken by laughing and giggling kids, little children waking me up from sleeping on their couch so they could play with me before heading off to school every morning. Those three months were some of the greatest memories of my young adult life for me. My little cousins would come home from school and give me drawings and paintings they had done in their art classes for me. They were such happy little kids.

I moved to the Mainland for a year to work construction. When I returned to attend college at the U of Hawaii, my Ex-Aunt had already filed for divorce and was in the process of taking my Uncle to the cleaners.

The happy little cousins who were in a perpetual state of playful cheerfulness and excitement at the wonders of life when I left Hawaii, had become broken, dour, sad and withdrawn kids when I came back. It was a fucking tragedy. They have since grown up and made families of their own as young adults. But they were forever changed and broken by the destruction of their home by their mother's selfish actions, aided, abetted and encouraged by a system designed specifically to profit off of this misery.

I could not comprehend how such an injustice could be inflicted by the State on a Father who did nothing wrong, how my Ex-Aunt got everything and she was the one who broke her marriage vows and broke up her home. After googling up no-fault divorce in a search for answers, my long journey of gaining understanding and awareness began.

Our divorce system is a fucking vampire designed to suck the very life out of Father's and little children whose homes get broken by it. You bet your ass I'm angered by it whenever I think about the toll of destruction it's wreaked on so many friends and family over the years.

The tragedy of my cousins and Uncle were the impetus for awakening to the reality of the system built to enslave us all and profit off of our shared misery. But that is by no means the only thing driving my anger.

Long time readers here are also familiar with the story of my high school buddy that killed himself after he could no longer deal with child support obligations that were about to make him homeless, and his ex had alienated his children from him and continually denied him visitation. He was broken by the system, and he killed himself when he could no longer take it.

I'm with Jack on the lack of foresight. If it really is so bad that suicide is an option worth contemplating then, hypothetically speaking of course, at least take out some of the judges and the ex who caused all the pain and misery. It also helps if they never find the body. And don't write a manifesto!

I really have to ask just how much my parents' divorce continues to affect me. It's left me cynical about the rewards in life that you're supposed to get for playing by the rules. I used to get top marks in school, but by my last year - with no father to teach me how to be a man - it all started to seem like a wash.

No girls, no respect from my peers, nothing but the prospect of the dull, boring life of an engineering cubicle that my parents were railroading me towards.

Am I better off? I should have lived the life of an upper-middle class prig, with an idiotic house in the suburbs. Instead I'm a bum who writes stuff for a little bit of money every so often.

The system didn't think about the generation of disaffected young turks it was creating; on my YouTube channel I rant about complex economic principles to a group of young men in their twenties, who are ready to tear the system down.

I am often surprised by the number of men that choose suicide but don't decide to take a few of the bastards with them and those that do decide to take a few with them typically just take out whoever happens to be around rather than those that caused the problem. Thomas Ball lighting himself on fire in front of the courthouse is a good example. Whats the purpose? If these vampires that run this evil system actually feared that the decisions that they make may come back to bite them they'd be a lot more interested in a fair and just decision. As it is they have no fear and are well justified in that feeling.

The system has been set up to cater to the whims of women and to profit off the misery that ensues from those whims. It doesn't matter to them that this is destroying our families, the lives of good men and children and our civilization just so long as they get paid and have that plush State retirement. It's a short sighted view but it is what it is. The only thing to be happy about is that it can't go on for ever and will eventually collapse as society falls apart. Unfortunately at that point it really doesn't matter much as you're living in an environment like Detroit or Haiti and just struggling to survive is all you'll need to worry about.

Hopefully later civilizations will be able to learn at least one thing from this, Don't give women the vote! If you do you're screwed! Oh, not right away but give it a generation of two and I guarantee they'll have implemented a system quite similar to what you see in every nation that has allowed women a voice in how things are run. And this is why once you've gone and given them the vote that you'll never get back any of it, because women vote for team woman and there are enough white knight men that they will always be the majority.

So although I'm incredibly angry at the injustices that I see happening and have vowed to oppose the system in every legal way I can, I also don't see how it will ever change so long as we have a democracy with women able to participate we will have the system(s) that they desire and there is not a thing that you can do to materially change that. So the best thing for you to do is protect yourself first and foremost. If you decide to get married (not recommended but most likely you'll take the plunge at some point) never ever fully trust her, always have something set aside. And if/when you have kids it may help to have a dual citizenship in another country, "just in case".

My Aunt (bio) and Uncle (married into fam) divorced a few years back. Both had substance abuse and infidelity issues and the divorce was only classified as "amicable" because each one had a hold on the other for infidelity. He pays child support and has a full time job, and my aunt works part time and lives with a boyfriend. She receives no alimony, at least. I would think that terribly unfair given she could work but doesn't.

The real people suffering are her daughters. Her oldest child, a son, is doing OK. Luckily, he had a good influence from some men in his family and joined the Navy. He is currently working as flight mechanic in Alaska and loves it. His younger sisters are still in HS. Without a strong father in their lives, they are straying from being good students with good morals and instead are getting f'd up every weekend (according to their FB posts) and screwing guys of questionable backgrounds. I fear both of them will end up as Baby Mamas to some thug(s) before they even reach 18. My aunt sees it but doesn't want to do anything about it. She says she can't; the kids won't listen to her. Their dad has remarried and has another family with his new wife, and figures his daughters are OK with mom and her new man. So no one is caring for these girls save a few aunts and uncles who check in from time to time.

Without a consistent and strong family structure, led by a man who can be loving yet fair and firm, girls and boys will degrade into the worst of our social ills and continue circling that drain. It is a sad situation, but what is most sad and frightening is that this situation is running free without recognition or address.

When Captain Capitalism signs off with "enjoy the decline" I no longer chuckle. I smile wryly to myself and think "indeed."

A revolution starts when angry people no longer have anything to lose. I also wonder why Tom Ball, Joe Stack and others self destructed in such an ineffective manner. Why not take out a specific target. Please understand that I am not advocating violence. I think we need to understand what is going on to prevent violence. Angry men are engaging in self destruction instead of using rightous anger to bring about change. No one feared Tom Ball. Joe Stack damaged a building and hurt some bystanders. Most of the the ones causing tyranny are public figures and they are not hard to find. Violence would not be neccessary--just 1000 notes from 1000 men that remind a Judge that we know where he lives. The anger of the manosphere is often rooted in self pity. This does not lead to clear thinking. Anger is jusified and violence is not needed.

Indeed. Before I get into my tale, I do need to tell you that I'm black and so was my gf in this tale.

Years ago when I was with my first serious girlfriend, I can remember to this day when I first met her 'parents.' I met her mother, and her step dad. My gf had three kids, 2 different fathers (I know stupid, I had no excuse). Her sister, 4 kids, but she was with the father and they later got married.

Also in attendance there were two family friends, both female. One had two kids, father nowhere to be seen, the last one finally had no children.

They all had the very same background, fatherlessness and this living, breathing example hit me pretty hard.

We broke up almost 12 years ago and the current status of those three kids go thus;

The eldest is a boy who has a steady gf and is currently enrolled in college.

The middle is a girl who became a mother at 17, so my ex became a grandmother @ 37. Yes you read that right. She is no longer with the father and is still in school, thank God.

The youngest is a boy and has a nickname which makes my skin crawl. He calls himself 'Kronicbunny'.

I agree with anyone on the Manosphere who is angry, I've watched their misguided teachings and erroneous assumptions have assisted in destroying my race and I see the same thing happening to whites.

It disgusts me that when we men try to tell so many women our very real issues, we get ignored or shamed for it.

I'm a woman and I'm very interested in hearing these views, even though it is hard to listen to such anger, I'm willing to listen. I think the opening of our eyes (to what the system does to all of us) is essential. The anger is justified and important. I think we have all been lied to and misled. Not all women are evil feminists. But that doesn't mean that there aren't evil feminists. I would love to find a better way, a better world, a better system. At this point, I'm just open to hearing different points of view about it. I have no solutions to offer. I'm trying to overcome my ignorance and the shock of learning how misled I've been. I have no interest in controlling other people or destroying anyone's life. I realize that most of what I've been taught is wrong and damaging.

'I'm a woman and I'm very interested in hearing these views, even though it is hard to listen to such anger, I'm willing to listen. I think the opening of our eyes (to what the system does to all of us) is essential. The anger is justified and important.'

Then you are head and shoulders above your peers. Just my opinion, take it for what it's worth, but what's happening to men and women in the aggregate is akin to what could happen to a man and a woman in an LTR.

You simply can't have a successful relationship when one spouse doesn't listen to the issues of the other. Men have beefs, you've seen that, if there is anything I would like you to do is to watch most commercials on television right now and imagine the genders were reversed.

I don't know your race, I will assume you're white as most of the 'manosphere' tends to be such so I will ask you how you would feel if those ads were directed at white women.

Men get attacked pretty much every single day, by movies, commcercials, and even radio spots. Let me tell you this; a woman saying to a man that 'this crap that you are facing isn't right' is music to his ears. Many men have given up hope that a woman even CARES about his well being.

I will say this again, you are head and shoulders above your peers, and many men are getting to the point where they would virtually get violent for a woman who simply could see things from their perspective.