In the tourist brochures Hyderabad is the “city of pearls,” justly renowned for its centuries-old traditions of fine jewelry. In my not-so-touristy personal travel log, it’s the “city of signs.” Pretentious signs. Ambivalent signs. Misspelled signs. Silly signs. And many more. Here’s a sampling from my travels around the city over the last few days.

Where to get a good (private) education: Genius College, Academic Heights, Brilliant School. Or at the institution whose billboards show students flying in super-hero costumes--Success, the School.

Best IT addresses: in northwest part of the city, especially in the districts of Hitec City, Hitex and Cyberbad.

Least attractive organizational names: All India Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes Railway Employees Association, National Council for Cement and Building Materials.

Where to get married: at the Hyderabad International Convention Centre “for the biggest thematic weddings that reflect sheer grandeur.” A vast convention floor and many rooms for you to display how much you’re spending on the three-day event.

Stretching the fashion metaphor: “Asymmetricals are back to even out the style quotient.” The style quotient? “A symphony of designer wear clothes for children.”

Messages for crazy drivers: Hyderabad Traffic Police Welcomes You, Don’t Mix Drink & Drive, Speed Thrills but Kills, Don’t be Rash, Lest you Crash. According to recent statistics, about 400 people a day are killed on road accidents in India, or about one every 3 ½ minutes.