Monday, April 21, 2014

Making the Most of Rejection

It speaks to our human nature, but none of us like being
rejected.Our expectations are sown-in
at one level, yet we get feedback that suggests we’re not there or we’re not
wanted.For a moment, if truth be known,
we feel crushed.And these moments can
linger and recur.

But this is an important clue for how we see ourselves.

If rejections do have a way of being taken hard there are both
consequences and limiting mindsets that come against us, the limiting mindset
being one consequence of handling rejection inappropriately.

But, first, this classic truth:

Not
everyone, or every situation, will approve of us, our abilities, or what we
have to offer.Everyone gets rejected.

Consequences

Negative consequences are the mark here, especially when the
rejection meets us hard.Hard rejections
are never really expected.They hit us
harder because the thing we were rejected for meant more to us than we
realised, or if all rejections are meeting us hard, then we know we’ve got an
approval complex—we need approval.(The person with a healthy self-esteem can
survive without everyone’s approval.They’re free as a result.)

Consequences will vary from person to person, but an obvious
consequence is we feature for the theme of situational emotional and spiritual
death—our whole is subsumed in this one event... calling us to the limiting
mindset.

Limiting
Mindsets

The biggest issue with rejection is not the pain and anguish of
being shut down, but the problem of the immediate handling of life.

Like pupils under light, our thinking constricts.

We become rather constrained to what we don’t have, and what
we’re missing out on, as opposed to the vast resources we still do have.Distraction becomes us as we replay the what’s
happened over and again.

Ways
Forward

Can we ever get to a position where we might celebrate our rejections?Perhaps this is seen as one door slamming
shut in our faces, yet inviting a better and more appropriate door to open to
us.

Can we have an, “It’s their loss” mentality (without
establishing it in resentment)?

However we handle rejection—and learning from it is the purpose,
not languishing in it—we ought to see it as part of life.It always will be.We will not please everyone, and we’ll not attain
to everyone’s standards.

The way forward is to keep going.Go onto the next revelation; go with the flow
of the river... don’t get caught up a muddy creek of resentment.