If parents are getting that worked up watching their kids, they should shut up, get their butts into training, and compete their damn selves. If you've got that competitive fire, show it by competing, not yelling at your damn kids. It doesn't even need to be martial arts, just go down to the gym and play some rec league basketball or something. But don't start talking smack when watching a kids' sporting event.

His heart was visible, and the dismal sack that maketh excrement of what is eaten.

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Posted On:11/04/2013 2:13pm

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Originally Posted by RynoGreene

If parents are getting that worked up watching their kids, they should shut up, get their butts into training, and compete their damn selves. If you've got that competitive fire, show it by competing, not yelling at your damn kids. It doesn't even need to be martial arts, just go down to the gym and play some rec league basketball or something. But don't start talking smack when watching a kids' sporting event.

Well, I agree but that's just not the way it is. The poor sportsmanship towards other competitors and ref bitching isn't even the worst part. The worst thing is the parents who berate their own kids. Some of them get so mad when their kids don't perform the way they think they should. I feel bad for those kids. I can explain to my kid that some parents are stupid in a way he can understand and when they scream and froth at the mouth he can laugh it off. When it's their own parents bitching them out, there's really no escape.

I don't want to give the wrong impression about all parents with kids who compete. Most parents are perfectly normal and supportive. Like everything else, it's the bad seeds who are easist to notice.

Just something else for shitty parents to bitch about. They do it ALL the time. "Come on, ref!! He could've gotten out of that! He's really flexible." I've seen a ref get bitched out for stopping a match when a kid had a fully locked armbar the other kid wouldn't tap to.

Really, it's hard to appreciate how much these parents lose their fucking minds at these tournaments. Omega understands and others get it if their kids have competed, or if they've reffed or worked tables, etc. But most adult competitors never pay attention to what's going on with the kids so you could've been at these tournaments for years without really noticing it. I'm serious, they go nuts. Parents show their asses at soccer and football games but here they have the added emotional factor of watching their kids one-on-one in something that has some of the feel of a fight.

I think it's the worst with the beginner divisions because a lot of parents are experiencing these feelings for the first time.

We had to deal with a set of parents (actually, a Dad and an Uncle,I believe) of a kid at a big shiai in Vancouver last year. The kid himself was talking **** to my student (I wasn't there the first time) about how he was going to and he literally said "kick your ass". The parents tried to intimidate him too (kids was 12 at the time) ! My students Dad is no shrinking violate and almost got into it with them. The boy took care of business himself by slamming the kid for an ippon in 15-20 second, LOL !

The second time, I was there, at the same tournament. The two men were really loud and obnoxious, were trying to mad dog us, the whole nine yards...I just told my student to take care of business. Which he did with great relish, although it took him almost a minute and it was waza ari then a humiliating pin for ippon.

Parents being bad examples is all too common. Kids learn by example, which happens all the time every day, over and over again, a lot more than by telling them what to do or not do. I've had to explain my behavior to my kids numerous occasions when I was a bad example. Nothing like trying to salvage being an idiot and at least be a good example by taking responsibility.

Also, dammit, your precious kid isn't in the fucking Olympics or World Championships, take a chill pill...

I feel that the tactile data you get from a grappling sport gives a vantage point for the competitor that is so much better than that of the bystander that coaching during a comp is likely to be not useful. On top of that, add the fact that the competitor will likely not hear or not obey the coaching.

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Posted On:11/04/2013 6:06pm

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Originally Posted by Permalost

I feel that the tactile data you get from a grappling sport gives a vantage point for the competitor that is so much better than that of the bystander that coaching during a comp is likely to be not useful. On top of that, add the fact that the competitor will likely not hear or not obey the coaching.

I've also seen a well meaning black belt and a purple belt do a terrible job of coaching my son because they weren't his regular coaches and had no clue about his strengths and weaknesses. It's not one size fits all.

I feel that the tactile data you get from a grappling sport gives a vantage point for the competitor that is so much better than that of the bystander that coaching during a comp is likely to be not useful. On top of that, add the fact that the competitor will likely not hear or not obey the coaching.

That gets back to coaching cues. It takes specific training to develop those cues, and they are usually pretty specific to a specific competitor. This isn't something that one will be doing at a local tournament, more like national or higher level training where specific game plans (may) be developed for specific opponents. At lower levels, the advice I give is generic, like, keep you hands up, control the sleeve, more along the lines of fundamentals, and the cues are the same as I use in training. Some and adults can use that advice, others are just too much caught up in the moment (as they should be).

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Posted On:4/03/2014 11:01am

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As promised, I will use this thread to chronicle douchebag martial arts parents as I encounter them in the wild. Here's a recent one.

When I take my kids to class, I always observe Rule #1 from my original post. I keep my mouth shut. Of course there are always a few parents present who aren't observing this rule. Typically they're people who have trained a little bit and think they know a lot when in reality they know fuckall.

Furthermore, I have come to the realization that these dingleberries automatically assume I have zero knowledge of the martial arts since I'm not yelling non-stop for my kids to posture up or get their hooks in during class.

So my son just finished his first season of wrestling. One of the techniques he learned was the head and arm throw. He just happened to take to that throw and has had a lot of success with it already. He used it successfully several times in competition during wrestling season and has also been pulling it off in BJJ class.

Well, one of the know it all BJJ dads had never seen him pull off the throw but saw him attempt it unsuccessfully one day. He looks at me and says "Tell him to make sure he uses the gi to do the throw. He keeps trying to put his arm around the head but he needs to grab the lapel." I just replied "Uh-huh."

I didn't bother trying to explain to him that there's more than one way to throw someone. Or that there are a ton of variations on that type of throw, despite the fact that Joe Rogan taught him that they're all called a "Judo Toss." I didn't bother to describe the impressive credentials of the wrestling coaches who taught him that throw. Oh no. Instead I waited two weeks and let him watch my kid sling the **** out of his son with it. Honestly, I'm still not sure if he understood the error of his ways, even after witnessing it first hand.

Anyway, that's my most recent encounter. Oh, there's also the parent who got irate at his kid for no reason while he was training and called him an idiot.