Life Wants To Live: The Impregnating Man - Warning: Not Safe For Work

Kris had just turned 38 and was living a somewhat happy life but something was missing, something intangible. Following are some of his thoughts:

"Confession time: I have been reading about the origin of life and the universe recently and it has gotten me thinking that I really want to father a child. I really want to toss my seed into a fertile woman's womb, to put it bluntly. I want to witness the change in her physique, to see my virulence take form. I mean after all, it's buried within our deepest unconscious desires to want to propagate the species right? Besides, if we don't procreate, we die out, so this is all very altruistic you see.

What excited him even more was the idea of impregnating multiple women. Of course, let's just focus on one woman at the moment because multiple women could get, complicated. What excited him more than that was to "intervene" in an otherwise unhappy marriage. For example, a woman gets married to a man that she doesn't really want to get married to then one day the topic of kids comes up. She can't bear the idea of having this guy's kid so she looks elsewhere for a suitable father. She finds a man that seems to have good genetics then they do the deed and the husband is none the wiser because it's all timed so well. (It is awkward when the child comes out with different color hair but hey, the universe is a random, chaotic place and there's always genetic variance!)
He liked it even more when the husband was belittled.
"You're so much more masculine than my husband. I want you to **** me and *** deep inside me. I have no use for his pitiful *****." That kind of talk put him right over the edge and made his head spin. He really did love that psychosexual drama and no small part of him would forever delight in the knowledge that he bred this schmuck's wife without his knowing. Provided all parties involved could keep a secret.
It's even better when the husband is impotent. Talk about doing some humanitarian work. Why would a woman want to have a turkey baster shoved up her ****** with some random dude's ***** squirted in when she could have a hard **** deep inside and enjoy the moment of conception more fully and naturally? It's the way of the universe. We've been doing this for millions of years.
"Far be it from me to let my **** go to waste." he thought. "Haven't I let enough of this stuff fly into the bathroom sink without purpose...I could really make some people happy here."
He had read on internet message boards about women wanting to be fertilized by someone other than their boyfriend or husband but could that really be true. Besides, were there really women on the internet in the first place or weren't they all just old guys still living in mom's basement.