This morning ‘I’ went to the Liberty Blitzkrieg blog and read Michael Krieger’s ‘about me.’ We’ll use his example as the introduction to the narciss-o-meter.

“My name is Michael Krieger, and I am the creator and editor of Liberty Blitzkrieg. I’m originally from New York City.

“As far as my academic and professional background, I attended college at Duke University where I earned a double major in Economics and Spanish. After completing my studies in 2000, I took a job at Lehman Brothers where I worked with the Oil analyst in the Equity Research Department. In 2005, I joined Sanford C. Bernstein where I served as the Commodities Analyst on the trading floor. About halfway through my time there, I started to branch out and write opinions on bigger picture “macro” topics that no one else at the firm was covering. These opinion pieces were extremely popular throughout the global investment community, and I traveled around providing advice to some of the largest mutual funds, pension funds and hedge funds in the world.

“I loved my job, but as time passed I started to educate myself about how the monetary and financial system functions and what I discovered disgusted me. I no longer felt satisfied working within the industry, and I resigned in January 2010. At that point, I started a family investment office and continued to write macro pieces on economic, social and geopolitical topics. That summer, I drove cross country for six weeks and ultimately decided to leave the crowded streets of Manhattan for the open spaces of Boulder, Colorado, where I currently reside.

“In the years that followed, I gradually recognized that my true passion centers upon writing on issues of significant societal importance given the extremely challenging times we live in. This realization culminated with me losing interest in financial markets and eventually launching this website in early 2012.

“If you are interested in a more detailed description, replete with colorful anecdotes, of how I ended up making this bizarre professional transition, take the time to watch the video below”

Michael Krieger employs the first-person-personal-pronoun ‘I’ no less than 20 times in five paragraphs, composed of 315 words. 315 divided by 20 = 15.75 or ‘I’ on average every 15+ words. Now, I only have picked on Michael because the idea for this satire occurred while reading there. I’ll somehow not be surprised if he scores high on the narciss-o-meter.

TomDispatch’s Tom Englehardt employs the first-person-personal-pronoun ‘I’ no less than 49 times in an article of 3,606 words or once on average every 73.6 words on the narciss-o-meter. I had previously believed his was a record but this is an article lauding the author’s importance in relation to ‘big events’ so I expect the extra wordiness counts for something. Or maybe it’s just my prejudicial view of Englehardt’s taking CIA liaised Ford Foundation (laundered) money to write propaganda poisoned stories, which it seems is legal in today’s USA, since congress essentially overturned the Smith-Mundt Act of 1948 making intelligence agency media lies legal (in 2013.) But I digress…

“In the second hour I update the listeners on the most recent development in the JonBenet case regarding Burke Ramsey’s lawsuit against CBS and Dr. Werner Spitz. Then I move on to the conspiracy culture and the latest attempt at mainstreaming the movement. I talk about the History Channel show Hunting Hitler and the possibility that it is an experiment and operation designed to influence the movement. I talk about the show’s main host, former CIA agent Bob Baer, and the involvement of the Pentagon in the show. I explore the idea that both the CIA and DOD may be trying to influence the way the alt-media/conspiracy culture conducts research and present themselves to the world at large. I also talk about the pitfalls that this presents to us moving forward and being taken seriously”

Six times ‘porky’ uses the first-person-personal-pronoun ‘I’ in 135 words. 135 divided by 6 = ‘I’ every 22.5 words on the narciss-o-meter. But what’s really creepy about ‘porky’ is his promoting Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty as a recommended site at his blog even as he ‘explores’ CIA & Department of Defense media manipulation. Call it the spy versus spy alternative media equivalent of catching your foreskin in your pant’s zipper….

Ok, says me to meself, let’s go for a guy who ‘I’ really admire, Nafeez Ahmed, just to find out:

WOW. 20 words, no personal pronoun, no math, no stupid stuff. Do I agree with Nafeez in every respect? No. But ‘I’ admire his bona fide courage in attacking the 21st Century Nazi meme, head on. ‘I’ recommend everyone who reads here to visit his sites,INSURGE intelligence & Return of the Reich

Now, for the tough part, an unbiased self-evaluation. Method? Go to my 2014 story of exile, for the first time targeting the first-person-personal-pronoun ‘I’ … and ‘I’ expect Nafeez is going to deliver myself a good spanking by comparison.

6,745 words. First-person-personal-pronoun ‘I’ 142 times. Ow, ouch. ‘I’ used the big ‘I’ on average every 47.5 words. The CIA’s fuckin Englehardt beat me. On the other hand, ‘I’ can take consolation in the fact ‘I’ was actually writing about myself as opposed to how important ‘I’ am writing in relation to other people. Uh, this paragraph sort of sucks, ‘I’ seven times in 69 words (includes numbers) [67 divided by 7 = first-person-personal-pronoun ‘I’ every 9.8 words, excepting the ‘I’ in these brackets, all of the preceding parties just stepped on me, face in palm.]

Disclaimer: ‘I’ was not about to go through my story’s nearly 7,000 words more than once to see if ‘I’ had counted correctly… anyone reading here that is anal enough to count through it enough times to come up with the same number twice, is welcome to submit the corrected math via comment –