Hello everyone! I am subbing in for the wonderful Maddie this week, covering all of the shenanigans going down in West Covina (Californiaaaaaa).

This show has been pressing hard on the gas recently, cumulating in the big dramatic kiss that closed out last week’s episode. The aforementioned kiss should have you on cloud nine if you’re Team Josh, and doing a series on incredulous double takes if you’re Team Greg. Same goes for Rebecca and Josh respectively, as they both processing this plot twist in their own way in this episode.

At the beginning of “Josh is Going to Hawaii,” Josh heads straight to Father Brah, who is just one of the perfect supporting characters that makes this show feel so full. The good Father is stoned and filled with disturbing parables about dead bunnies, but his advice to a panicking Josh is solid — tell Valencia what happened, and pray that she forgives him. No one (well, except anyone who has ever seen a rom-com) thinks this is very lucky. Meanwhile, Rebecca is off getting her own advice from Paula. Sweet, overinvolved Paula who is so eager to live out her own dream role as Joan Cusack that she continues to dispense terrible love advice. Why Rebecca takes the word of a middle-aged woman in a struggling marriage as gospel is beyond me. Yet, under Paula’s advice, Rebecca agrees not to contact Josh.

As it turns out, she didn’t need to stress out about whether or not to contact him: Josh makes a beeline for her place and the two have an awkward conversation where Josh recounts his plan to come clean to Valencia, and Rebecca tries to rein in her exuberance at their inevitable break-up. Josh is still the great winner in this because after The Talk, he is planning to hop on a plane to Hawaii for some bro-time.

Cue the plotting music.

Rebecca is one in a series of women who might not be a great person, but is excellent at her job (a role Mindy Lahiri perfected). Rebecca’s brains have always been her biggest asset, so it’s a bit of a shock to find out that our homegirl is broke and has as much financial sense as a toddler. Apparently she bought a house, leased a car, and used some solid blackmail money without ever checking her bank account. Basically, she is one step away from debtors’ prison. It strains credulity, but the look on Paula’s face when she realizes Rebecca doesn’t even know how much she makes was pure gold. Desperate to make the grand gesture to Josh, she sells her family heirloom and books a ticket to Hawaii. Romance, party of two!

... Except for a little problem named Valencia. After overhearing her gushing to her mother about her big talk with Josh (“love me more!”) Rebecca finally, finally feels guilty about the cheating that accompanied her big kiss. This realization is compounded when she overhears Josh and Valencia’s fight where he tells his longtime girlfriend that he in no way loves Rebecca. Not even a little. Not even at all. It would be a more tragic moment if Rebecca didn’t look every inch the stalker, spying on them through the window. Okay, maybe nervous breakdown party of one is more accurate.

After witnessing their reconciliation, our hero has her own reckoning: she is actually the Big Bad. She’s not the princess, not Kate Hudson, not the young ingénue. And she is completely right. We’re all #TeamRebecca because this is her story. We’re with her through everything, learning about her past and family. If this was told from Valencia’s point-of-view, we would probably all be #TeamKillOffRebecca. Sure, Valencia is an easy target because she’s so gorgeous, seems like a real terrible person, and Indian food makes her gassy. But Josh is still her longtime boyfriend, and Rebecca has done nothing but undermine that relationship since she got to town. Luckily, the best thing that could possibly happen to Rebecca, does: she is seated next to her therapist on the plane for her Hawaiian vacation. If anyone needs some time to be single and figure out her stuff, it is Rebecca. And that time is now.

In other romantic pairings this week: Josh and Heather both now get to enjoy the awkwardness that is working with an ex. Greg is still hung up on Rebecca but trying to let it go after seeing her and Josh kiss. Heather is apparently heartbroken over Greg, and we’ve all learned an important lesson about not lying to a guy you care about. Meanwhile, Darryl and White Josh continue to be the most adorable duo that ever lived. Darryl has zero chill whilst dating, and puts White Josh off with his over-commitment. He tries dating around a bit, but we end with the two in flip-flops and board shorts drinking boba tea together, as God intended.

Does anyone know around what month it is in this show? Greg and Heather started dating around Christmas, and I wonder how long the two were actually together before they broke up.

I loved how Darryl’s “Getting Bi” song took down all the stereotypes about bisexuality in the media. Giving him such a good plotline and pairing with with White Josh was the best thing the show has done all season.

Paula’s reaction when Rebecca’s car got impounded was all of us.

That Disney music and make-up was so on point.

Thanks for having me this week, readers! Let me know what you thought of “Josh is Going to Hawaii” in the comments!