Here are some tell tale signs of people who constantly live in the past, consumed with self-pity and stuck in a rut. These people never take responsibility for their mistakes, always looking to gain sympathy from others and are just down right negative! Be careful they don’t suck the living life force out of you!

YOU FIND IT HARD TO LAUGH AT LIFE AND AT YOURSELF.

Taking yourself too seriously, and finding it difficult to laugh at your predicaments and defeats is a tell-tale sign of self-pity. Beware.

YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR DRAMA.

In truth, you’re a little bit of a Drama Queen and tend to have a melodramatic streak to you. Usually this stems from extremist types of thinking (e.g. black-and-white, all-or-nothing mindsets).

YOU TEND TO CRAVE FOR SYMPATHY.

Self-pity is so addictive because it gives us the momentary pleasure of being supported, cared for and emotionally pampered. This is a dangerous, highly manipulative way of developing emotional bonds and connections with other people.

YOU TEND TO BE AN INDIVIDUALIST.

Self-pity is one of the most effective ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from the friends, family and people around you.

YOU TEND TO BE A PAST-ORIENTATED PERSON.

Some people live in the present, others in the future, and still others in the past. Self-pity is inextricably linked to past-focused mindsets that dwell on past events.

YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

People with low self-esteem tend to crave the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves. The mask of self-pity that constantly promotes its tragic-life-story campaign is an excellent way of collecting flocks of unsuspecting supporters.

DEEP DOWN, YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU’RE WORTHY OF LOVE.

This stems from low self-esteem and creates a cycle of self-destructive behaviour. Self-pity is one of the greatest tools for the self-destructive person. It creates self-fulfilling prophecies, and alienates all the people you love and admire from you.

YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY HABIT OF BEING SELF-ABSORBED.

Quite simply, the more self-absorbed you are, the more likely you are to fall into the trap of self-pity.

YOU HAVE A STRONG FIGHTING INSTINCT.

This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what you choose to use it for. When used in a negative sense, the fighting instinct is used to battle against life, to fight against the tide, and to fight against accepting reality.

YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY FEEL GUILTY.

Often times self-pity is an unconscious way of avoiding taking responsibility for personal actions or decisions made in the past. When we find it too difficult to accept the wrong that we’ve committed, sometimes we tend to hide from it by making ourselves the victims, rather than other people. In this case, self-pity is the perfect cowardly self-defense mechanism.

It is bad enough when a stranger or foe betrays you, but when it is someone you believed to be a close and trusted friend, partner, or spouse, a child it is especially hurtful. It might feel like you were taken advantage of, deceived, humiliated, despised, cheated, or stabbed in the back. Oftentimes it comes as a surprise.

That is why it is so painful. You would not expect to be hurt so badly from someone you thought you could trust. So you are left in disbelief and unbelievable pain.Anyone who has experienced betrayal in a relationship knows how difficult it is to recover from such an experience. The person you thought you could trust and count on is no longer the person you believed them to be. So you wonder what happened.

Were you just wrong about them all along or did something change? Maybe your relationship changed and so did their loyalty to you. Maybe something in either or both of your lives has changed and they became insensitive to you. Or, maybe you both grew apart and in different directions.There are many reasons that cause people to betray one another. Sometimes they are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone. Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued.

They may feel the relationship is in the way or not as important anymore. Feelings change. And as feelings change so do one’s actions and choices. An individual that feels their needs are not being met in a relationship might feel that the relationship is no longer important or worth investing in.

Therefore, they might seek to get their needs met elsewhere. This changes the relationship. Eventually, it grows apart and opportunities for betrayal emerge.Betrayal is a destructive force that leaves many ruins in its path. Betrayal changes everything. Relationships and all those affected will never be the same again. The damage done can be irreparable. Trust is lost. Wounds run deep. Anger persists. Hearts are broken. Self-protective walls are erected. Pain is long and lasting. And we wonder…. Can trust ever be restored? Do wounds ever heal? Will anger cease to exist? Can hearts be repaired? Will the self-protective walls ever come down? Does the pain ever go away?Not only does betrayal change relationships, it changes individuals. Something happens inside of them. They might find it difficult to ever trust again. They might be more guarded and protective of themselves for fear of being vulnerable again.

They might learn to be more discerning and less naïve. Their expectations of others may change. They may reflect on their own role and responsibility in the relationship and what went wrong. They might try to understand, empathize, and forgive. They may be motivated to grow from the experience and learn more about themselves and others.The pain of betrayal is very real and has a significant impact on the lives of all those who have experienced it. It is one of those painful life experiences that have the power to change people’s hearts and lives forever.

If you have ever been betrayed, you cannot change what has happened to you or make the pain go away. You need time to grieve and feel angry. You need time to be comforted and encouraged. You also need time to restore your faith in yourself and others. Betrayal hurts and there is no fast and easy way to heal from its effects.

It takes more than time. It takes a heart that will not harden. It takes a commitment to believe in others again. Relationships do change as a result of betrayal; but ultimately, how it changes you is what matters most.

Death is the most fierce and deeply penetrating spiritual teacher that we can have. It will not let our ego escape alive. Death will always be waiting around the next corner, ready to wipe your entire life clean. Death will remove all material possessions from you, all wounds, all people, all your financial problems and future plans. It is guaranteed that one day, everything will be removed from your grasp.No matter how safe we think we are, this hard truth will remain, perhaps because it has the most profound purpose for our spiritual growth. Death forces us to remain awake. We must always appreciate this human life we are given. We have to find reverence, otherwise we suffer.Knowing how very fragile this life is, we become kind to everything that is alive. By remembering our mortality, we are not so quick to getting angry at our loved ones, nor become distant, judgmental or critical with them. We tend to forgive everyone who has wronged us more quickly, and return to loving the real heart and soul connection that we do have.With the awareness that death is approaching, we become more gentle on ourselves, instantly dropping any hard heavy energy that we may be carrying. We tend to deal with any leftover skeletons hiding in our closet and embrace those things we are avoiding.

We remember that we came here to heal ourselves, and so we stop protecting our hearts from opening up to others. We become radically honest with ourselves and others, because we just never know when it’s our turn to go.I invite you to do something truly radical this week. Share with those who are still with you today, how you honestly feel. It may be challenging, yet tell them what is going on inside you, reveal everything and clear off your emotional plate.

Be free to say anything you cannot speak about or say. You just don’t know when you or your best friend’s amily member or child will die…do you?Let them know how much you actually love them. Rise above any social games you are playing. Stop being afraid of being ridiculed or getting rejected. Take the risk to celebrate your lives, and enjoy your short precious time here together. You truly don’t know when it is going to come to a quick end.“Man has lost one quality, the quality of zestfulness. And without zest, what is life? Just waiting for death? It can’t be anything else. Only with zest do you live; otherwise you vegetate.” ~OshoThere’s only one thing you can do to transcend death, embrace it. With welcoming it fully, you will eventually find your way to real inner peace. This acceptance does not mean to start taking more apathetic actions in your life. This is about finding more reverence in everything.

Everything is sacred. When you discover this tremendous appreciation for the simple things, like this breath that is still flowing through your lungs, you’ll see the fear of living and dying quickly dissolves. If we can fully embrace death, we can totally live life.When you have a deep reverence for life, you naturally take advantage of every moment to feel that you are alive. You finally arrive into this precious now moment of your life, where all the puzzle pieces fit in, and everything comes to perfection. You can truly rest here, it is the only place. You can let go of it all and fall into resonance with your true spiritual nature.Take this moment to feel into this spiritual essence inside your body. Feel that energy that will remain when your body is gone. Can you feel this eternal energy? The infinite self is here, and if can find it, and reconnect to it all day, you’ll soon realize that heaven is already here now. The spiritual effervescence will expand in you, and send bubbles of light filled joy into your heart. Open your life to these bubbles and you will wonder why you were pretending to be so worried, fearful and concerned about everything in your life.

Very few people would argue for the positive influence of envy in our lives. In fact, most of us can quickly recognize its harmful effects:

It fosters discontent and distress.

It binds our freedom.

It leads to resentment and bitterness.

It causes us to do things we wouldn’t normally do.

It can spiral into depression.

And yet, the wasted emotions of envy and jealousy continue to be present in our lives. It is a constant battle that wars against our heart and soul. We experience envy over other peoples’ appearance, talents, relationships, and bank accounts. It offers no positive contribution to our lives. Yet, it remains.

It is time to break free. Certainly, each of us desire to live in freedom from jealousy and envy. How then, can we overcome it?

Consider these helpful, life-changing steps to overcoming envy:

1. Shift your focus to the goodness in your life. One of the biggest reasons we envy the life of another is because we have begun to take our blessings for granted. Count them again. You are talented. You are gifted. You are cared for. You are unique. Your life is too valuable to be lived like everyone else. You have countless reasons to be grateful for the life you have been given. Remind yourself again.

2. Remind yourself that nobody has it all.Comparing your life with others is always a losing proposition. There will always appear to be people who have it better than you. But remember, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves to the best assumptions we make about others. Be reminded, nobody has it all. Each person you meet experiences problems, trials, and weaknesses–just like you. This is what makes us human. Nobody is exempt. Nobody has it all.

3. Avoid people who habitually value the wrong things. If you spend all your time with people who compare the latest fashions, you are going to start desiring the latest fashions. If you spend all your time with people who talk about their salaries, their new cars, or their extravagant vacations, you are going to naturally fall into the inevitable trap of comparing your possessions to theirs. But there are far more important things to pursue. Remove yourself from the conversation (and the relationship if necessary).

4. Spend time with grateful people. Gratitude is highly contagious–that is why I spend time reading Tammy Strobel. You can read gratitude in almost every word she writes. Find grateful people who experience contentment in their lives and spend quality time with them. You can find them online or you can find them in person. But the more you invest your time with them, the more their spirit will become yours… and soon, others will desire what you have.

5. Understand that marketers routinely fan the flame. One of the most effective tools for advertisers in our culture is to foster jealousy and envy among us. After all, if they can cause us to recklessly desire the possessions of another, they can drive us to great lengths to acquire it for ourselves. Be on guard against their tactics. Recognize them. Avoid them. And refuse to succumb to their deception.

6. Celebrate the success of others. Genuinely and practically, rejoice in the fortune of others. When somebody receives something that you desire, be happy for them. If you wanted it, they probably did too. Stop viewing life as a competition. Joy is not a finite resource. And the moment you learn to experience happiness in others’ joy is the day you take a huge step to overcoming envy once and for all.

7. Be generous. Even if you have to force yourself into it at first, make generosity an essential habit in your life. Give your time. Give your finances. Give your abilities, talents, and skills. Volunteer in your community. Support a cause that promotes social justice. And get your hands dirty. As you begin to spend more time and more energy with those who have less than you, the more you will find fulfillment and meaning. And when you do, the allure of another’s person life will quickly fade away.

Envy has held us hostage for far too long. It is time, once and for all, to break free from envy and experience a more fulfilled life because of it.

A woman of substance is a woman of power, a woman of positive influence and a woman of meaning. To be branded a woman of substance is one of the greatest compliments one can give a woman that wants to be an “influential” female. Below, I have assembled four qualities a girl/woman should possess in order to become a “woman of substance.”

Embrace your individuality and be happy the way you are

The pressure put on women in today’s society is immense and I admire any female out there who doesn’t let the high demands and expectations get them down. In my experience, I have learned that we, as women, should not let the likes of “perfected” images or “criticism” affect us and It has come as such a relief to me to realize that being different and imperfect is far more interesting than being a “perfect” person. I believe that being yourself and feeling happy as yourself- just the way you are signifies the word “beauty.”

Use your voice

We were all blessed with voices to use them- so use them! I’m a relatively quiet person and a woman of not many words who next to never will indulge in small talk chit chat. It’s just who I am. However, on the other hand, when it comes to standing up for what I believe in or voicing my opinions on things, I never fail to make use of my voice. And neither shall you! Make use of what god has given you and say what you think, say what you believe in, and argue against what you don’t.

Find your dream in life and pursue it

Follow your heart…never give up…and you can do anything. We all have the ability to do whatever it is we want to do and fulfill any dream we want to fulfill; we just have to go and do it. When you find your passion in life, it creates a meaning in your life and gives you a purpose in the world: it generates happiness.

Live up to your morals and values- always remain aware of them

Living by your morals and values in life; inspires you, motivates you and energizes you for doing something significant in the world. As children, we were always being told to be a person of moral and were educated to understand what our values are. I think, when we grow older we seem to loose or forget about those crucial qualities and in order for us to be descent human beings, we should consider re-educating ourselves on morals and values.

Don’t compare yourself to other women.

While there is nothing wrong with having a female role model to look up to, constantly feeling jealous of other women will leave you feeling horrible about yourself. Though jealousy is natural to some degree, western society tends to exacerbate female jealousy through advertisements and films that feature unrealistic standards of beauty. The result is a culture of women who feel insecure and unhappy with their own bodies.

The first step to overcoming jealousy is to recognize when you are experiencing it. If you find yourself reading a magazine and comparing your own body to those of the models, take a moment to remind yourself that a) these women are paid to look the way they do, and many of them lead very unhealthy lives to maintain their figures, and b) the camera really does add weight; women who look “perfect” in magazines or in movies usually look gaunt in real life.

Try not to compare your own negative qualities with other women’s positive qualities. Every woman has her own best assets, whether it is her breasts, her legs, her arms, her eyes, her hair, or her butt. Let go of trying to have it all, and appreciate what you do have.

If one were to ask a selection of people what triggers their anger I suspect there would be a wide range of answers. However one thing I am certain of is that whatever the cause, even a single word spoken in anger can leave an impression on a person’s heart that may remain for a long time, and has the ability to ruin the beauty of any relationship.

A famous sage once said, “How can there be peace on earth if the hearts of men are like volcanoes?” If within the person there can be peace and freedom from anger, only then can they live in harmony with others. So how can we set about creating that sense of peace within ourselves?

It starts with the realisation that we do have the choice to think and feel the way we want to. If we look at what it is that makes us angry we might discover there is nothing that has the power to make us feel this way. We can only allow something to trigger our anger—the anger is how we respond to some event or somebody. But because we are so used to reacting on impulse, we forget to choose how we want to feel and then respond inappropriately, leaving ourselves with angry feelings.

Have you ever heard someone saying: “I really hate it when you speak like that to me?” Or how about, “How many times do I have to tell you to do it like this?” One lesson I have learned is that, try as I might, I can never control circumstances, people or situations, as they are constantly changing. The only thing I can control is the way I choose to respond.

Only I can increase my capacity to tolerate; only I can develop my ability to understand; and only I can nurture my love for others regardless of whether one day they praise me and the next they defame me. Modern-day life comes with a whole host of challenges. In facing these I have come to see every interaction within our world as part of one large drama or game. And within this drama, every single individual has their own unique part to play, which is essentially an expression of their own inner self.

As I come to accept this, rather than spending my time keeping an eye on what others are doing, I can begin to use my energy to play my own part to the best of my ability. I realise that I cannot possess or own the behaviour of others, because if I do, this will ultimately lead to conflict. Instead I need to practise the understanding that regardless of whatever action a person may be doing, according to their own part within the play there is some reason why they are behaving in that way. Therefore I should try not to jump to conclusions too easily; and rather than trying to control another person’s behaviour, it will be far easier and more productive for me to focus my energy on my own actions.

So what is so wrong in judging in their actions? There is a danger that if we become too concerned with their activity, we may begin to feel anger toward that person, which may lead to dislike for them. We put them into some kind of box, and fix a label on them. Then whenever we come into contact with that person, we will see him or her in the light of their past mistake. But in doing this, we are effectively imprisoning them in their past actions. However if we allow the person the dignity of actually growing out of their own mistake—if our vision allows them to do that—then, sooner or later, it is possible for people to change.

This concept of life being a drama can help us to detach ourselves from what’s happening around us, and this detachment or space is of great help in learning not to make judgements so quickly about others. If we create a small space, a healthy space between ourselves and the drama of life, we find that that space acts like a buffer. Neither will we jump out and grab someone’s throat, nor will the drama of life be able to suddenly grab us unawares.

This is one of the many benefits of practising meditation. It helps us to create personal space within ourselves so that we have the chance to look, weigh up the situation, and respond accordingly, through remaining in a state of self-control. When we are angry, we have no self-control. At that moment we are in a state of internal chaos, and the anger can be a very destructive force.

Broadly speaking, there are two methods which people suggest one should try and deal with anger. Some say if you’re feeling angry, then be angry as a way of expression—let it out. And indeed, at that moment we do become free from the anger, because we have let it out. However, as we deepen our understanding and experience of the way in which our consciousness works, we realise that the more we do something, the deeper that habit becomes. So tomorrow we will find it easier to become angry because we have already done it today. It is like a smoker trying to give up cigarettes. When he feels like smoking, he smokes, and so he doesn’t feel like smoking any more. Nice idea. But instead of removing that desire, the act of smoking has only temporarily fulfilled it, and the habit has taken an even firmer grip such that tomorrow the desire will be even stronger. So expression doesn’t transform the habit or feeling.

Betrayal, aggression, and just plain insensitivity: People can hurt us in a million ways, and forgiveness isn’t always easy. Whether you’ve been cut off in traffic, slighted by your mother-in-law, betrayed by a spouse, or badmouthed by a co-worker, most of us are faced with a variety of situations that we can choose to ruminate over or forgive. But forgiveness, like so many things in life, is easier said than done.

Forgiveness is a journey toward freedom from our past. It can be transformational, complex, is not to be taken lightly and cannot be commanded. If you are patient and open to the unfolding of forgiveness, your desire to forgive will be fulfilled.

There may be plateaus along the way where many of us are lulled into thinking the journey is complete, but you will know you have reached your destination when only love and gratitude remain in your heart for the person you have forgiven. When a hurtful past relationship has been transformed into an opportunity for personal growth and healing for which you are grateful—with or without an apology—then you know you are free.

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

When you’re hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

If you’re unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time

Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being

When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you

Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

Many people have a vague idea about destiny. Some equate it with Fate, whose outcome is mysterious and unknown, and whose unknown hand appears suddenly in human life. Others think destiny is charted in the stars, and if one can only correctly glean information from the alignment of the stars through astrological interpretation, one can in effect look into the future and know one’s destiny. Others know that they have a powerful pull for going to a certain locale, or entering a certain career—this obsession hounds them day and night until they finally act on this feeling.

These types of understanding based on feelings do not yet reveal what destiny actually is, a karmic pattern or path. Destiny patterns can be discerned in meditation. They are of four types.

Behavioral Destiny – these are behavioral patterns encoded in your unconscious mind that act outside of your conscious, volitional control. These repetitive patterns condition how you react to objects, people and places, and may subtly guide your selection of a mate or career, for example. This type of karma is known as Pralabdha karma, often called Fate or Destiny karma.

Creative Destiny – this occurs when you align with your Self and you guide your future according to a plan that you make. These patterns consist of goals that you have set for yourself that you have made your highest priority and are fully commitment to achieve. Here you create your destiny through an act of will. This type of karma is the personal octave of Kriyaman Karma, the creative karma of the will.

Service Destiny – this occurs when your Soul and higher vehicles of the Super conscious mind align to carry out a particular project or service to the Divine. This takes the form of a mission to which you are called, that you follow with clear understanding and act as a conscious co-worker to carry it out. Unlike the calling which is based on feelings and faith, this service is taken on in full consciousness and understanding. It is one of the hallmarks of the disciple stage of spiritual development. It functions within the transpersonal octave of Kriyaman Karma, using the aspects of the will that operate in the super conscious Mind.

Spiritual Evolutionary Destiny – this pattern traces the future initiations of your Soul as it makes progress towards its Soul Purpose. This is called Adi Karma. Closely related to this pattern is the unconscious map of the path of the spirit. These channels link the spirit with its source. This type of karma is called Sinchit Karma. These two varieties of spiritual evolutionary destiny point to the potential within you, those aspects of your being that you have not yet brought into expression and actualization.

We all know that life can throw many curve-balls that can leave you overwhelmed and ready to give up. When we have so many things going on in our lives the last thing we need is unhealthy behaviours from either friends or families. Don’t for one minute think that you are “allowing” their behaviours in your life. When you are going through difficult times you won’t have the strength to deal with any added issues from friends and families and you shouldn’t have to. It is not wrong to have expectations that people should know how to behave towards you when you are dealing with a lot of stress. It is basic expectations to expect others to be understanding, sensitive, compassionate and empathetic.

Sadly, not everyone was socialized in basic human behaviour when it comes to dealing with others who are going through a difficult time. Matter-of-fact, they have the audacity to behave as if you are inconveniencing their lives with your difficult time.

And instead of them having the good sense to stay away if they are not going to be genuine and loving, they impose themselves into your life and expect you to chin-up, suck it up, don’t inconvenience them and be on call when they want something from you. Or they might be nice, caring for a few days and then suddenly they start being nasty towards you. That’s because they were faking their concern. They just did enough for you to think well of them and then they go back to being their true self. They may even have the temerity to accuse you of not being understanding of their life and their busy schedule. This kind of about turn behaviour can leave you feeling drained, aghast and shocked.

You may even find yourself apologizing to them for inconveniencing them when you are the one going through a difficult time. These are not the kind of individuals you need in your life. Unfortunately because you are going through a difficult time their behaviour makes it worse for you and creates more of an emotional stress for you. However, this is the time that it is important that you create your own circle of strength.

But how do you go about developing the tools necessary for creating your own circle of strength? While creating a circle of strength does involve surrounding yourself with strong, compassionate and empathetic friends who are socialized in the norms of civilized human behaviour, it is important that you surround yourself with people who love themselves.

People who do not love themselves and have a deep internal hatred of themselves won’t know how to genuinely be there for you. Those individuals will have you on an emotional roller-coaster ride that will have your Mind twisting and turning and have you wondering what you did to them and why they are behaving that way towards you.

Their behaviour will seem sociopathic. One minute they will pretend that they care for you and will go through all the motions and then when you have opened your heart to them they turn around and abruptly change their behaviour. If you do not have a strong mind, their abrupt behaviour will crash you, especially if they have been doing it for awhile. It will cause your mind to flip-flop. These individuals will seek you out when you are the most vulnerable and strike at that inopportune time. That is called emotional and mental abuse.

Unhealthy emotions contribute to a weak mind. In order to strengthen your mind, examine how you feel about yourself. If deep within yourself you hate yourself and feel that you don’t deserve anything good then your mind will reinforce those feelings and turn them into thoughts.

Those thoughts become powerful weakened thoughts that are open for the self-hatred of others. When you hate yourself any difficulty that you experience in life will be magnified. However, when you love yourself deeply and know that you deserve the best, whatever difficulties you go through, you will have a circle of strength that surrounds you. So while you won’t initially be able to necessarily stop someone from behaving a particular way towards you, when they do begin to behave insensitive and manipulative towards you, you will be strong enough to stand up to them and if they still do not change their behaviour, then you will be strong enough to walk away from them because you love yourself way too much to stand for that kind of emotional and mental abuse. You know deep down within you that you deserve the best. It is your birthright.