Tonight I saw a shooting star zip through the sky. It quickly cut through the stars in front of the almost-full moon and then seemed to break up and disappear. It happened so fast. I wonder if it was a meteorite or a satellite trying to return home? These days I often feel as if I am trying to find my way home. I feel as if I took a wrong turn somewhere and wound up on some strange asteroid.

Where do pelicans sleep at night? At 2 AM the beach is incredibly quiet. Hardly a sound except for the crash of the waves and a wisp of the wind. It occurred to me that there were no birds anywhere. During the day there are thousands of them: terns, gulls, sandpipers, plovers and pelicans. Where do they sleep at night? Is there some kind of pelican hotel? The encyclopedia says that pelicans often sleep under docks and piers but I cannot see anything under the only pier in the area. Where do they go?

Speaking of wild animals, why does Tiger Woods have to tell the world the reason he had a car accident? No one else was hurt, it wasn’t a crime scene and the police determined that alcohol was not a factor. So why is every media outlet screaming that he must step forward to save his reputation? Could it be because they want a juicy story to feast upon? Really, who cares? I don’t hear people on the street too concerned about what really happened. It seems that the media, which has created and feeds the cult of celebrity just has to have its expose of the week, leveling Woods to the level of Danny Bonaducci. They never really liked him anyway: too, “uppity”, too arrogant, too independent. I don’t think the guy has to answer to anyone except his wife and kids and the corporate sponsors that pay him zillions, and he can do that in private. Someone yesterday told me that Tiger HAD to fess up and speculated that he caught his wife in a lesbian affair. Now that’s something I would like to know. Are their forbidden Polaroids somewhere? Still, if I were Woods, with his money, his prestige, his golf swing – I would just say it’s nobody elses business and leave it at that.

I’d like to know why State Troopers think they are so bad. I was pulled over for speeding last week and the guy was a complete dick. Here’s the kicker – I wasn’t speeding (I know that everyone says that but I have no reason to lie here – I had the car on cruise control so I know exactly how fast I was going) and the cop was coming from the other direction. If he had clocked someone speeding it could have been anyone of the several cars that had passed me in the left lane and he was crossing the median to pull up behind me. I think that once he saw out-of-state plates he just figured he’d have an easy day and nail my ass. I was so surprised when he pulled up behind me with his blue flashers going off like Grucci fireworks that I almost slammed on the brakes. I thought he was kidding when he said I was speeding but when he said he clocked me doing 85 I knew it was bullshit and that I was just a notch on his quota belt. I will go to court on this one but I wonder if it’s worth the effort or the stress. I don’t think I deserve a $235 ticket for something I didn’t do but I have to question the sanity for taking a day off to have my day in court. In America you are innocent until proven guilty – except in traffic court. And this cop was such a dickhead I question my sanity in wanting to confront him, even in a court of law – afterall, this jerk carries a gun.

I want to know when Obama is going to close Guantanamo and when we will have a truly decent health care bill in Congress or when the rich, smarmy, self-aggrandized, butt-lickers in Congress will ever do the right thing by the working man. Is that too much to ask?

I hate reality TV – except the news which is really reality TV and I wonder what Vince Manze is doing these days. He was majorly responsible for much of the way we view TV today from his days as a VP at NBC, back when NBC was a network that people actually watched. Grant Tinker must really hate watching NBC and wonder what the hell ever happened. I know I do. Vince, my old buddy, are you kicking back on a tropical island laughing at the world you left behind or are you sitting in a desk in Hollywood creating evil reality shows that rot peoples minds? Just curious.

Oyster Catcher - crayon on paper

So where do the oystercatchers go at night? Do you think they ever worry about how to pay the rent?