Lots of news stories out there today. Let’s mow them all down real quick-like, shall we?

Bill Murray helped Letterman celebrate his 30th anniversary – The 61-year-old comedy legend appeared on the show in shoulder pads and eye black, brought Dave a cupcake, and kicked a field goal in the middle of the street. Also, he posed for a picture with the musical act — nine member, all-girl Korean pop group Girls’ Generation (pictured, via Alex Ogle). For any further analysis, please consult the headline of this post. [Uproxx]

RIP Don Cornelius – The longtime “Soul Train” host died today at 75, of what appears to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Cajun Boy has a really nice obit at the Uproxx main page. [Uproxx]

Snooki is either pregnant or not pregnant – You are very welcome for that in-depth and informative medical analysis. That will be $100000000000000000000. (NOTE: I refuse to cover this story any further. I’m prepared to hand in my resignation if it comes to it.) (SECOND NOTE: My resignation letter is a paper plate with the words “I QWIT” spelled out on it in macaroni.) [NY Post]

Everybody on “X Factor” got fired – This week, the show sh-tcanned host Steve Jones, as well as judges Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul. My recommendation for their replacements: Me as the host, and Ghostface Killah and a koala wearing a top hat as judges. Ratings gold. [NY Times]

Showtime remains committed to quality television, nudity – The premium network renewed “House of Lies,” “Shameless,” and “Californication” today. Sometimes I feel like HBO, Starz, and Showtime are in an arms race to see who can get the most nudity on TV. Arms may have been the wrong body part for that analogy. I’ll go crunch some numbers and get back to you. [Deadline]

MOST IMPORTANT BREAKING CHEESEBURGER NEWS – Kate Upton is the new spokesperson for Hardees and Carl’s, Jr. OM NOM, indeed. [With Leather]

YA BOY – The first preview for Channing Tatum’s SNL appearance is after the jump. I’m always depressed when he opens his mouth and he doesn’t sound like Burnsy’s version of him.