Germany: "Idea circumcision responsible for loss of foresight"

German rationals have slammed idea circumcision this week after Angela Merkel moved to oppose the court imposed ban. With the mutilation of the critical thinking of today's youth by an uninspired education system, students risk losing their foresight before they've had the opportunity to experience its benefits.

Additionally, religious rituals, in which children are completely brainwashed before being allowed the chance to develop their own sense of identity are one of the leading causes of idea circumcision. Educators report many cases of idea-circumcised children turning up at school with their rational ability 'in tatters' after parental decisions to irresponsibly indoctrinate them from birth. This form has been particularly prominent in America over the past forty years, with affected children now beginning to emerge as political candidates.

Despite worries of the previous German history of mass indoctrination of the impressionable with utter twaddle, Merkel has defended the right of parents to do the same, and perform idea circumcision on their children, presumably worried at claims of further discrimination against the Jewish population.

Merkel has already backed other forms of circumcision; many Germans are thought to have sense of humour circumcision at birth, whilst Minimalists, who believe humans only really need 2 digits per hand to grasp things, remove most of the fingers of a newborn along with the umbilical cord. Critics argue the Minimalists would grasps things better if they used their brain as much as their scissors.

Merkel stated, "Religious freedom is very important and we should support any form of cirumcision that the parents wish to impose on their child, although we draw the line at the beliefs of the Headless Chicken Sect." An HCS member was unable to comment.