Easy Limeade

Squeeze the juice of half a fresh organic locally grown lime or use one tablespoon of shit lime juice from the grocery bottle of pasteurized lime juice (deemed not as good as adjectivated by the word “shit” but you can still get lime flavor if you go down this road but you should always prefer a corpse in hand whether it be fruit, vegetable, protein. Less pre-process is more better for your body…like walking barefoot. I digress.).

BTW, squeeze or pour the lime juice into a glass. This pasteurization diatribe is relevant to a single serving. Sorry, not party dose tonight.

Tablespoon of honey

Two drops of vanilla extract or grind up some delicious vanilla beans. Actually split open the vanilla pod with a razor and scrape out the oily beans inside. They are amazing. Make a unicorn. Fly away.

Mix up the lime juice, honey, vanilla with a tiny little whisk that only pretentious people pretending to be mixologists possess.

Fill to the brim with soda water AKA fizzy water AKA this soda doesn’t have any flavor AKA diabeties-free soda