Show goes on at memorial for comedian / Eulogists get 2 1/2 minutes each to do their shtick at the packed service

Published 4:00 am, Saturday, May 17, 2003

2CENTS17/Cantu-C-17MAR02-IN-JP
John Cantu of San Francisco. Two Cents correspondent.
(JULIE PLASENCIA/SFC)

2CENTS17/Cantu-C-17MAR02-IN-JP
John Cantu of San Francisco. Two Cents correspondent.
(JULIE PLASENCIA/SFC)

Photo: JULIE PLASENCIA

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cantu007_pc.jpg Jane Marie Cleveland brought a rubber chicken to the memorial service. Cleveland, who met Cantu during one of the "Laugh Lovers" events, watched the service from the balcony of the Columbarium. Funeral services were held for comedy promoter John Cantu on 5/16/03 in San Francisco. PAUL CHINN / The Chronicle less

cantu007_pc.jpg Jane Marie Cleveland brought a rubber chicken to the memorial service. Cleveland, who met Cantu during one of the "Laugh Lovers" events, watched the service from the balcony of the Columbarium. ... more

Photo: PAUL CHINN

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Show goes on at memorial for comedian / Eulogists get 2 1/2 minutes each to do their shtick at the packed service

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Eulogists got exactly 2 1/2 minutes to tell mourners what a great fellow John Cantu was, before a man with a flashlight began shining it in their eyes.

That's the way Cantu, the stopwatch-toting impresario of open-mike stand-up comedy in San Francisco, would have wanted it.

Cantu, 55, who died Sunday of cancer, was remembered on Friday by legions of comedians and friends, most of whom knew that a comedian can die on stage almost as surely as the other way.

"John was such a good producer, he could put on a show even after he left the building," said his friend David Garfinkel, who introduced himself as the "emcee" of Cantu's funeral at the San Francisco Columbarium.

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Few could remember a funeral like Cantu's, full of rampant laughter, applause, cussing and frequent references to Cantu's considerable appetites for food, female companionship, life and a well-told one-liner.

In back of the standing-room-only columbarium stood comedian Tom Drews, who had been entrusted with the flashlight and a digital stopwatch.

Drews was gentle with the flashlight, shining it only three times.

"At the club, when your time was up, you got the light in your eye," he said. "So we felt it was appropriate. But I wasn't going to hit anybody over the head with it to get them off."

Comedian Steve Bruner said he was proud to be inscribed "on Cantu's last open-mike signup sheet." He recalled how Cantu paid him exactly $12.20 for his first appearance at the old Holy City Zoo comedy club on Clement Street.

At the time, he could afford to keep only one of the dollar bills, and he said he spent the rest on ramen noodles.

Cantu rarely performed himself, preferring to nurture and promote young comedians and humorous public speakers with his comedy clubs, workshops, Web sites and lectures. He literally lived comedy, choosing to sleep on the stage of his comedy club after the shows were over.

Humorist Don Stevens, observing that Cantu's death notice had appeared at the top of the obituary page, got quite a few laughs from the 200 mourners when he said, "For once, he was a headliner."

Comedian Tony DePaul, seeking to stay one joke ahead of the flashlight, announced that he still owed Cantu a debt of $12.

"And you ain't getting it now!" he said, placing a hand on Cantu's casket.

Another comedian, who used to sell tickets at Cantu's club, said that to "truly honor John, I should have collected $2 at the door" from arriving mourners.

There was no clergy, as Cantu was an atheist, which left more time for comedians -- about a dozen all told -- before a U.S. Army color guard removed and folded the flag from the coffin and presented it to Cantu's family.

Afterward, the mourners stood beside the coffin, watched videos of Cantu's humorous monologues and laughed until the columbarium staff hinted that it was closing time.

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