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Wednesday, 24 July 2013

GERMAN MUSCLE BULL MANUEL BAUER

HOW TO BE A BIG BUTCH MUSCLE BULL - With German bodybuilder Manuel Bauer

#1. Stuff a truck load of roids into every available orifice and pump pump pump yourself up to outrageously huge proportions so every single body part looks like a big fleshy beef filled balloon that's in danger of going POP at any given second. Don't fear if you develop some nasty snakey veins running underneath your smooth freakishly thin skin, and don't worry if you occasionally look like you've developed a bit of a roid gut. You're a big butch muscle bull...embrace the nastiness!!

#2. Make sure your head is so fucking bald it would make a bowling ball look hairy. Big butch muscle bull's should not have one single hair on their bonces. Ideally you want a head so fucking bald and shiny that when your fellow big butch muscle ﻿bulls look at it, they can see their own huge pumped muscle mass reflected back at them!

#3. ﻿Post a number of videos of yourself on YouTube showing off your bullness in all it's big butch glory. Make sure to get extra fucking pumped and huge looking before you film them, like the one below. This video perfectly demonstrates the kind of look you are going for, as if someone has shoved a bicycle pump up your arse and gone hell for leather on the pedal. You almost want to look uncomfortably big, and for those nasty vein splattered juicy mounds of mass muscle bulging off your body to look like they couldn't possibly be any more fucking pumped. Blast some poses for the camera in your geeky specs, big ole bald head shining away, show the audience what a fucking MONSTER you are and do it all with a cheeky/cocky/arrogant "I'm so fucking PUMPED and huge...FUCK YEAH" smirk, before lifting a barbell and pump pump pumping up, letting out hot deep butch as fuck grunts with every rep. Then, show the viewers that you're such a fucking MONSTER, that it takes about 5 minutes to put a fucking vest on, and it's just such a fucking chore you practically have to fight with the damn thing just to get it over all your gigantically huge man meat (WOOF FUCKING WOOF)!!

Another video, like the one below, might be taken at a photo shoot, and basically sees you pumping away for the camera in your geeky specs and a stringy red vest cut low to show off your big meaty man pecs. Make sure your skin is looking extra smooth and silky, your beef is looking extra pumped and massive, and your head is looking extra bald and shiny. You should have an air of smug cockiness throughout the whole fucking thing, like you *know* how inhumanely fucking HOT you are and any viewers should clearly be able to see how much fucking fun you're having being a big butch muscle bull pumping up for the camera. The video should, of course, include some posing, first right after the pumping up in your red vest, and then wearing nothing but your specs, and a pair of tiny turquoise trunks. Hit pose after pose for the camera, cranking, squeezing and flexing it up, showing everyone what an insanely huge flat out freaky muscle BEAST you are.

#4. ﻿Be sure to fucking CRANK up the tude when you're on stage in your shiny posing trunks, pumped to the max and ripped beyond reason, flexing and squeezing and tearing it up. Don't be afraid to be as arrogant and cocky as humanely fucking possible, opening your mouth wide and fucking roaring at the lucky audience as you blast out those monstrous Most Musculars and sticking out your tongue with your eyes tight shut as you fucking blast that pumped roided bull beef. Don't worry about ogling your own huge pumped gun as you blast a one armed bicep, or scrunching up your mush to ridiculous proportions while flashing a manic, cocky grin as you crank a side tricep. Oh and don't feel pressure to be a cocky bastard all the time, you'll still look fucking hot when you're hitting a pose just beaming a massive sexy butch self-satisfied grin.

And lastly...

#5. ﻿Attract the attention of the author of a well known muscle blog who'll go fucking nuts over your pumped to buggery beast of a monstrous muscle bod, your butch as fuck, sexy as hell looks, your awesome, cocky posing and any insanely fucking HOT YouTube vids of you he manages to find and dedicate a whole post to you, which other like minded muscle lovers will then come across and go equally fucking nuts over you and all your hot as fuckity fuck big butch bald muscle bull quirks and qualities.

11 comments:

Fuck. I got an erection just reading your prose and skimming my eyes over the pictures. Glorious words that help us all to embrace the dizzying, intoxicating ALPHA size, power and attitude of this beast. His legs... *hits the floor* ... his traps ... *groan*.

In daily life I'm a widely-respected 40-something professional but I am reduced to jelly by the superhuman powerhouses of testosterone on this blog. I've been obsessed with huge-as-fuck bodybuilders since puberty and I'm never gonna stop. Thanks for the blog. xx

Wow..awesome comment matie, and thanks for the kind words. I think a fair amount of us muscle junkies are professional guys for whom no one would suspect in a million years get home after work, fire up our laptops/pc's and just go fucking NUTS, losing all sense of reason over the sight of these huge pumped to buggery, Alpha male, otherwordly muscle BEASTS who've pumped themselves up to ridiculous degrees just so they can stomp and strut around in shiny colourful posing trunks, flexing and showing off their blown up, cut to fucking fuck, SHREDDED beyond humanity muscle mass! FUCK YEAH!

Ahhh mate congrats, AGAIN!! What a find this guy is!! Bald? Yeah. Butch? Yip. Beefy? Yah. Cute? Oh yes. Sexy? You betcha!!! Love that first pic of him in those tiny purple trunks, making em look DAMN GOOD fella! I need to avert my eyes for a bit while I think of more stuff to write!!

Haha glad you like the comments mate! Always aim to please, you post the beef and I'll big it up!!I can just imagine watching this dude flexing it up on stage, posing that beautiful body, with some sound effects hopefully, oil and sweat dripping, those trunks stretching as he works it and just generally being a big hard muscle man!!

The pics of the guys you post here are exquisite--damn fucking hot, too! But, I have to admit that reading your accompanying text is just as hot. You're a damn good writer, so intense, so ferocious! Keep up the hot, hardcore pics--and the hot, hardcore prose as well! You know just how to hit the bull's eye--or the freakin' g-spot--in guys who need their daily fix of these beautiful muscle monsters who flex, pump, and bulge in all the right places. Only wish I could see some pics of bodybuilders with hairy pits! Damn, that would be fucking HOT! These big, beefy studs with thick, dark, sweaty hair under each pit of their massive, veiny fucking arms of steel. If such pics exist, I trust you to find them!