June 1, 2006

Don’t Panic ! It wont be that bad. If this fills you with dread don’t let it. Just take little steps at a time, I don’t mean go out for a whole day without the dummy, start off little but aim big!

A trip to the swing park, feeding the ducks, take them swimming, anything that will amuse your child and show them that they don’t need a dummy to have happy and good times.

Gradually you will increase the time that you are out the house without the dummy, observe your child when you are out, remember the time it took for them to ask for their dummy, or start to need it. This will help you avoid any screaming matches and those strained looks from other people.

By the way, never mind what other people think, your child is upset and they are your priority, not the disapproving look of some strangers.

Restrict dummy use to key times during the day, such as bedtime or when your child is unwell.

Reward your child with fun activities, or stickers charts, but not sweets or candy!

When you are out make sure you point out any other boys or girls who are not using a dummy, it will make them feel more grown up.
You are aiming to get your child used to large amounts of time without their dummy,

This will help when you both take the final step in ditching the dummy.

May 24, 2006

Up until now your child has used their dummy or pacifier for comfort. So now they need an alternative to comfort.

Obviously we are not going to bribe them or buy them gifts, we are not swapping a dummy or pacifier for something else they will have to give up. Your child is upset and needs comfort from you.

Imagine how you feel when your upset, maybe frustrated, hurt or angry.

Try to imagine how your child feels.

Communication is an excellent way of finding out why they are upset so you can therefore remedy the situation, so ask them why they are upset, make sure you ask in a soft voice tone and have direct eye contact with them.

Touch them, its very comforting to know someone is there for you when your upset, especially when you’re a child, give them a hug, hold their hand, sit them on your knee etc, show them you care.

Distract them, we all know how to distract our child from their upset frame of mind. Maybe take them into the bathroom and run the water, children love running water, even let them put their hands or feet in it or read them their favourite story, you know what will distract them.

If all else fails and your child will only respond to the dummy or pacifier, then give them it, we haven’t got to the step where they have dumped that dummy !

April 7, 2006

Remember all the times your child whined or cried, and they were given the dummy / pacifier. They were programmed to learn that when they were upset this was part of the way they were comforted.

Now we are going to kinda "de-programme" them to thinking that they don't need this any longer. Just think if you have to give something up you love, its not fun is it????

So as a parent you will have to take several steps to achieving this goal for your child. And I will give you my tips.

By the way, feel free to post any tips you used, or give feedback in how your doing with getting rid of the dummy!

Ok, on to our first step how to prepare your child for the inevitable.

Don't just turn up one day and snatch the dummy / soother / pacifier from their mouth or hand.

The trick is to make your child feel involved every step of the way and to let them feel that it is partly their decision too!

So sit them down, make sure you are at eye level with them, and speak softyl, clearly and slowly so they understand.

Simply explain that as they are getting older, now that they are a big boy or girl, etc you know how to speak to your child so use whichever term you feel appropriate and at ease with, that its time they didn't use their dummy pacifier all the time.

Don't say never, they will be told that in later steps.

Now you may be met by screams of "no" "no" "no" or tantrums and tears but don't make an issue of it, this is a good sign that they understood you and know what lies in the future for them and their dummy.

You will re-iterate this point to them at least once every day, no more is needed, too much pressure on your child will not help achieve their dummy free life.

There is no set time scale in your task, patience is a virtue and you will need your patience as anger never gets the right results.