Taylor Swift Was ‘Too Young’ For Jake Gyllenhaal

While the nation spent most of last night and this morning crying in bed over the end of Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal’s one month long relationship, Us Weekly has tackled the tough question of, “How, Jake? How could you do it?” *sobs into Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper*:

“Jake reached out to her and started all of this, but now he’s not acting as interested,” a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly (on stands Wednesday).
The previously inseparable pair called it quits just before New Year’s Eve, then rang in 2011 separately.
“He said he wasn’t feeling it anymore and was uncomfortable with all the attention they got,” says the insider of the just over two-month romance. “He also said he could feel the age difference. Taylor is really upset. We told her not to move so fast with this but she didn’t listen.”

Wow. Let me just state for the record – Read: Taylor’s benefit (How ya doin’?) – that I’m the same age as Jake and “too young” isn’t even in my vocabulary. In fact, I had to look the phrase up just to make sure I was using it right, and I still don’t get it. There was a lot of math. Anyway, I can provide statements from the police and school officials to back that up, not to mention my face is on a county website which practically makes me famous. So dinner at my place?