a raw take on my life as it is: unpredictable, frightening and wildly exciting.

This is not a hoax aka we’re gettin’ hitched.

Um, holy shit I haven’t blogged since April. I’m going to tell you why. And if you remember the Great Valentine’s Day Hoax post, you probably won’t believe me when I tell you.

On April 16th, in front of the fountains at the Bellagio, the boy proposed. And I said yes. Kinda.

The story goes as such: we watch the fountains, we go inside, we get a drink, we come back out, watch another fountain show and in the middle of it, he says “so you wanna get hitched?” And I say “Sure?” with a question mark sound at the end, a-la-Ron Burgundy.

“I mean, I’m sure this isn’t how you imagined it going down, some dude asking if you want to get hitched.”

“I’m sure you didn’t think I’d say ‘sure’ with a question mark on the end. Yes, 100% yes, but if you don’t mind me asking, what changed your mind?”

If you’ll recall, we’ve talked about marriage before. We weren’t saying it would never happen, but we had talked about how we didn’t NEED it to make our relationship legit. I wrote about this extensively after we pranked people on Valentine’s Day. In our minds, we’re kind of already married, in that we can’t imagine life without each other, and we know we’re not going anywhere.

As we started walking back to the hotel, he told me why. That he can’t imagine NOT marrying me. That, after his first marriage, he didn’t want to do it again because he didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good relationship with a wedding (like what happened the first time). That I’m his best friend, and that he can’t imagine a life without me in it. That I don’t judge him, and he’s never really had that before. And that he loves me more and more. He also added that this doesn’t change how much he loves me. This doesn’t change how we operate. This is something for us, something that he wants to do now, because this relationship is fucking awesome.

So we get back to California, and after the haze from Vegas has worn off, I say “you know, if that was us being in Vegas and coming out of Vegas-Rage-Bender time, we can totally just pass on that and I won’t think anything of it.” He said he knows exactly what he said, exactly what he meant, and that this will happen. Sweet.

We knew that people wouldn’t get it, especially after we had the hoax. We told family and close friends, but didn’t announce it at all. I was talking to my parents and I felt very weird about it. I came to realize that I didn’t want this to be some big production, and that everyone has their own idea of what marriage is, should be, and what the wedding should be like.

We almost got married that night in Vegas, but the place with the Elvis impersonators that he wanted to go to wasn’t picking up the phone. We didn’t have the necessary documents. Then we thought we should do it on a beach somewhere. So a few weeks later we drove up to Big Sur and Carmel, CA, up the coast. I loved the drive, as a long drive next to the water is ridiculously calming for me. He was sore from being in the car for so long. We checked out Pfeiffer Beach, thinking it would be secluded and majestic but it was 30+ mph winds and a sandstorm and not very calming or relaxing at all. We had been in the car for what felt like forever, we got to the cabin we were staying in, and there was absolutely nothing to do in the town. Nothing. Well, nothing for people like us. There’s big money up there and it was so not our scene.

We drove around trying to find parking and when we finally did, he said “this place fucking sucks” and I lost it. Sad, weepy tears. We wandered into a bar and grabbed a couple drinks and I was still weepy. At the bar. Like a dork. And I was all, “I really wanted this to be awesome,” and thinking I’m totally horrible, we shouldn’t have taken these days off, I don’t know us at all, and he’s like “well the town sucks, do you disagree?” And I didn’t. The town did suck. It wasn’t our scene at all. And then everything was fine. Because it’s not always perfect, but we’re always fine.

He said we’d know the place when we found it. Last Thursday, standing in line for the Ministry show, he looks at me and says, “what if we did it in the wind tunnel? We’ll be there for the Tunnel N Beer trip in October, what if we did it in the tunnel and then did the Great American Beer Festival as our reception?”

And I started crying. Happy crying. The first day of the GABF is October 11. 10.11.12. Best. Date. Ever.

So we’re doing it. We’re getting married (having our friend do the ceremony) in the tunnel. Then we’ll have our “dance” in the tunnel. Then we’ll go get food before the Great American Beer Festival. Then we will party like there’s no tomorrow. It’s absolutely us, it’s absolutely perfect, and I’m beyond thrilled about it.

No dresses. No ties. No fancy food in spoons that is awkward to eat. No monumental bill for my parents. And something that is SO US, that I can’t imagine not doing it, or doing anything else.

Today we announced it, and by announced it I mean we changed our cover photos and made an event page on Facebook. Not surprisingly, there are people doubting whether or not we’re serious this time. I get it. We cried wolf. You have reason to believe that I’m full of shit this time too. But I’m not.

SkyVenture Colorado – 10.11.12, at 2:00 PM. That’s the date I’m counting down to. That’s the date that will be one of the very few dates that I remember and celebrate forever and ever.

We’ll post more details as they come. And now I can write again. Weeee!

Re-reading that post from February doesn’t make me sick, it doesn’t make me hate myself, and it doesn’t make me question everything I’ve ever believed. It shows me that things change, life is awesome, and you NEVER know what it will bring.

I cannot wait to marry my best friend on October 11th. And I never thought I’d say those words.

UPDATE: I had to take down the pictures of the invitations/announcements. The kind lady from the GABF emailed me to let me know I was violating a registered trademark. Hopefully they still let us in come October! HI NANCY! THANKS FOR THE PROMPT RESPONSE AND FOR BEING SO FRIENDLY!

So I was one of those idiots who got all excited for you on Valentine’s Day, and liked and commented on your status. When I found out it was all a joke, I seriously hated you. Legit was disgusted and offended. I honestly didn’t think joking about something as serious as getting engaged or marriage was funny at all. Almost unfriended and unfollowed you on all social networks (yes, I’m petty), not only because the joke was rude, but I also didn’t want to see anything else that you might think would be OK to joke about so publicly. The whole situation honestly left a real sour taste in my mouth about you…

…and then I read this post, and saw the “real” announcement on Facebook today, and my perspective changed. (And I was actually glad I didn’t unfriend you after all. LOL)

In college, I always admired from afar your ability to push the envelope, think outside the box, and be different. Your “wind tunnel wedding” and perspective on marriage is no different – and I absolutely respect that and love it at the same time. I respect that you didn’t tell the whole world when it REALLY happened, and I mostly respect your honest and transparency about the “Valentine’s Day hoax”. I like that you apologized for the joke, while not apologizing for how you view marriage, how you feel, and your personal opinion and thoughts on a happy relationship. Long story short, YOU GO GIRL!

I’m just as happy for you as I was before during “the hoax”, and I’m glad you’re tying the knot YOUR way, and not the way that the world thinks you should. I’m personally a traditionalist and couldn’t ever do it the way you are, but boy am I blown away with admiration just because it’s so fitting for Sydney Owen!

Best wishes to you and Barry (whom I’ve never met but bet he’s a keeper!) on 10.11.12, and for a lifetime after that.

Keep in touch!
Jasmine

http://sydneyowen.com Sydney Owen

FINALLY. Thank you. Jasmine, if there is anyone in this world that I would expect this comment from, it wouldn’t be you. FINALLY someone says something about how they really felt about it. I know a lot of people didn’t care, a lot of people did, but nobody ever said anything about it. You, Jasmine, are awesome. Seriously.

Thank you for being here, thank you for not unfollowing/unfriending, and thank you for the kind wishes.

Jasmine Fowlkes

No problem! I’m happy you’re doing this YOUR way – screw what everyone else thinks (myself included)! I know it’s going to be a blast! If nothing else, your hoax and fun wedding plans definitely changed my perspective on a few things, taught me to view things differently, and served as an eye-opener. Special thanks to you!