Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:

Password

Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:

Confirm Password:

Email Address

Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:

Log-in

User Name

Remember Me?

Password

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Additional Options

Miscellaneous Options

Automatically parse links in text

Automatically retrieve titles from external links

Topic Review (Newest First)

02-21-2012 07:38 PM

DanF

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noel1987

I really wish Danf that you would come out of your problems

Huh?
I don't understand what you mean...

02-21-2012 04:58 PM

Noel1987

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

I really wish Danf that you would come out of your problems

02-07-2012 05:48 AM

DanF

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

My wife and I are proof that you can not only recover, but have a happier, healthier relationship afterwards.

02-05-2012 04:41 PM

frazaled

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

thanks danf most of the replies to my story were very negative ok i know thats the normal but i had just lost what i thought i had and i dont think one person said you can make this work eventually they just kept telling me he was still lieing .its nice to see that there are some who make it through this.

11-10-2011 08:06 AM

DanF

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

Quote:

Originally Posted by couple

Dan, I know this an old post but I got here through your link on another thread. Your story is really heartbreaking and inspiring. The fact that you made it through all of this must mean there is true love. All the best.

Thanks, couple.
I wanted to put it all here so that someone else can see it and think, "Maybe we can work it out".

11-09-2011 05:33 PM

couple

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

Dan, I know this an old post but I got here through your link on another thread. Your story is really heartbreaking and inspiring. The fact that you made it through all of this must mean there is true love. All the best.

03-30-2011 06:55 PM

DanF

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jellybeans

Dan, I really commend you and your wife for being able and willing to work it out. So many people can't (my marriage is one example).

Good for you guys!

Thanks. We are sill in love with each other and doing great!

03-30-2011 06:54 PM

DanF

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

Quote:

Originally Posted by HungUp

I hope this is seen as a genuine question rather than dig, but I find it somewhat confusing how someone who has had an affair themselves can struggle so much with their own spouse having an affair.

Obviously I understand it being difficult and the unpleasant thoughts, but surely being a DS yourself (a non-directed 'yourself') would be in the best position possible to understand the hows, and whys of it all. Can you not somehow relate your own needs and experiences to that of your spouses?

In a probably unfair way, I see it a bit like 'if it's good for the goose it's good for the gander'.

A fair observation and no offense taken.
I don't completely understand it myself, but I have come to this;
When I had an affair, the guilt tore me apart inside. As I posted, I thought that I was in love with the OW, but knew that my wife and I had so much together and had been so far. It wasn't enough to make me stop, but I couldn't take it and told my wife about two months into the affair. When she had an affair three years before this, she never told me at the time. Her affair lasted about three months and she only stopped when I got suspicious and confronted her about a lot of things. There is a part of me that resents that and that she could keep it to herself and still not tell me what was wrong with our marriage.
There is a part of me that thinks "If she did it once, she can do it again."
That feeling is subsiding. I know that she loves me and only me and only wants to be with me.
Hopefully in time, the suspicions and hurt will be gone completely.

03-24-2011 09:54 AM

Jellybeans

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

I think it's probably one of those "getting a taste of your own medicine" type things.

03-24-2011 03:39 AM

HungUp

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

I hope this is seen as a genuine question rather than dig, but I find it somewhat confusing how someone who has had an affair themselves can struggle so much with their own spouse having an affair.

Obviously I understand it being difficult and the unpleasant thoughts, but surely being a DS yourself (a non-directed 'yourself') would be in the best position possible to understand the hows, and whys of it all. Can you not somehow relate your own needs and experiences to that of your spouses?

In a probably unfair way, I see it a bit like 'if it's good for the goose it's good for the gander'.

03-23-2011 09:14 PM

Jellybeans

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

Dan, I really commend you and your wife for being able and willing to work it out. So many people can't (my marriage is one example).

Good for you guys!

03-23-2011 09:14 PM

paramore

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

huh? lol I must have missed something, I will check the thread out lol.

03-23-2011 09:05 PM

Bigwayneo

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

set

03-23-2011 09:04 PM

DanF

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

bump

11-10-2010 04:45 PM

DawnD

Re: Recovering From Infidelity

I did talk to the OW over the internet and got some answers. But the most entertaining of it all was when I talked to her and her H together. Because then she was forced to be honest about who she was. She was a golddigger, looking for a paycheck, and forgot to figure in the fact that he would owe me child support LMAO.

I can certainly see how it would give you some peace of mind.

This thread has more than 15 replies.
Click here to review the whole thread.