#413 – Jr. Pantheon Games: 12,000 Step Program

It didn’t exactly go down this way, but I tried to write it down as close as possible (I might have missed one or two tangents that may have occurred during this session)… from a fun D&D campaign I had the honor to be part of:

DM: Behind the secret door in the wall, you see a set of stairs… leading down into the darkness.

PLAYER J: My barbarian looks carefully down the stairs.

DM: Roll.

One bad dice roll later.

DM: It’s dark but it looks safe to you.

PLAYER J: I start heading down the stairs.

PLAYER R: Wait. It could be trapped. Where did we leave that stone guardian I turned into abstract art?

PLAYER C: Down the hall a bit.

PLAYER J: I’ll get it.

DM: Sounds of stone slowly scraping across stone echo down the hall.

PLAYER J: What now?

PLAYER R: Push it down the stairs.

DM: Dammit.

Sounds of grumbling echo from across the living room. Followed by the sounds of numerous dice rolls.

DM: The statue goes tumbling down the stairs setting off and bending the spring-loaded blade traps in each step. It makes a squishy sound as it hits the bottom of the stairs.

PLAYER J: The statue squished. Statues aren’t supposed to squish. Arazel, I think you broke the statue with your magic.

PLAYER R: That was the whole point of the spell.

PLAYER L (I believe): Maybe it was just squishy on the inside.

… tangent on candies with crunchy candy shells and squishy guts …

DM: Okay, let’s get back to the game. With the blades bent there’s no way you can walk down the stairs without injuring your feet and legs.

PLAYER R: Isn’t the barbarian still carrying that tower shield around?

My DM (my husband) likes to put magical knickknacks in the line of sight of my greedy (but good-hearted) cleric, and then see which morals she’s willing to break to get them. Fortunately, my clerics have never been big on celibacy.

Yeah, we did that before. Except it was a fighter in full armor who had been turned into a drooling idiot a few encounters before. We were pushing him in front to take the brunt of the traps when suddenly he wasn’t there anymore. Then came the sounds of a body in full armor rolling down stone stairs. That player wasn’t too happy. They did however learn their lesson about making rude and snide comments about members in your own group.

I too admit to deliberately pushing a fellow player into a place that had a 99% chance of being trapped. Mind you, this guy was a paladin and not only me, but every other player hated his “holier than thou” attitude. Oddly enough the player really wasn’t too upset over losing the character. Guess he didn’t like himself LOL!

When I played Arazel as a character, she used the command spell to send the human samurai through a glyphed door. It blinded him, but afterwards he used blind fighting and hit everything. When his blindness was cured, he kept missing until he started using a blindfold in battle.

there was this one time that we lost half of our party because the players had more fun throwing party members into void spheres (similiar to the sphere of anihalation, but not an instantanious death) then they were to fighting the boss of the encounter (a nalfesnee)

Ya never kicked a player down a flight of stairs… I did make a character that had exotic weapon prof: Thrown Dwarf… Silly DM… The Dwarven fighter in the party wondered why the Barbarian spent his share of the loot getting him the neat +3 spikey armor with the handle… Until we faced a flying demon…

See, now Thor and Hermod finally know what poor Hod goes through, having to be Baldur’s twin… *grin* When Hod gets out they can throw themselves at him for a group hug (which you just GOTTA know he’ll love…. *snort!*) and beg his forgiveness….