A Review of “The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages”

I’m so excited to review The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, because I have read some of Shaunti Feldhahn’s other books and I’m a huge fan! In fact I did a women’s study with her For Women Only book and it was awesome.

Anyway, for this book she surveyed roughly 1,000 married couples and focused on the habits of the happiest 350 couples. How did she identify the happiest couples you ask?

Well she simply asked this question:

Are you, personally, generally happy in your marriage these days and enjoying being married? (Choose one answer.)

1. Yes!

2. Yes, most of the time.

3. It depends-sometimes yes, sometimes, no.

4. Not really.

5. No! I am really unhappy.

She then took a closer look at the marriages where both husband and wife answered, Yes!

In this books she lays out her findings and shares a “secret” of these couples in each chapter. These “secrets” are things anyone can do that when lived out day to day can potentially make a huge impact on marital happiness! Here are a few examples from the book:

When highly happy spouses are legitimately hurt, they refuse to believe that their mate intended to hurt them, and they look for the most generous explanation instead.

Highly happy couples quickly stop a negative train of thought or action, replacing unhappy or angry thoughts or actions with positive ones, in order to change their feelings.

Highly happy spouses give their mate most of the credit for their relationship success- and they live in regular conscious gratitude as a result.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and really learned a lot about my own marriage. Their are several “secrets” that I already do and their are some that I need to work on. Reading this book has given me a new perspective on my marriage. So if your already part of a highly happy married couple or your in a struggling relationship I would encourage you to take a look at this book and see if you can up your own marital happiness by applying these “secrets.”