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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

The Mongolian BBQ note may have a “pleasant enough” tone but the writer’s inability to use the proper form of “too” and telling people they can’t bring sweets or regular soda is ridiculous. It’s fine to let people know you’ll be serving the leftover cake so they know there will be a sugary dessert item, but to demand that they not bring something else (like cookies or brownies) is bad form. And, instead of demanding that any soda/beverage brought to share be diet why not request that a combination of regular and diet be brought. Seriously, how many diabetes actually work here? The writer implies they can’t eat sweets (so they won’t eat the cake) and apparently there is no water available to drink in this office.

I don’t see any demanding of sugar free stuff, it just sounds like they’re trying to give suggestions of different things to bring. It sounds like you can bring whatever the heck you want except the couple things they already have anyways.
It look a typical and normal office note to me personally.

It says nothing of the sort. It lists diet drinks in their list of *some* ideas of what to bring because “some people like them to[o].” It never says only bring diet drinks, the only thing it says not to bring is the couple items they already have.

Rainbow Secret Admirer. Having clicked through, apparently the writer WAS Emily, pretending to be some unknown, threatening other person (but still unable to resist the rainbow hearts and changing color font). She sent this and other such notes to her poor roommate all year, because of a missing whiteboard. It’s not passive aggressive, but it’s so batshit crazy it wins all the prizes.

Betta Fish for runner up, because “Just feed me to the cat” is awesome.

It’s like choosing between your children. You’re not supposed to love better than the other – they are different and you love different things about them. PAN has cheered up many a lunch hour for me when I may have otherwise had to have pointless chat with someone like “Thx Sandra” (or God forbid, Graham) and for that, I thank you.

Now I just want follow up on Emily/the whiteboard, and Sandra’s notes. Did Emily get her whiteboard back…..did Sandra leave any more notes? What did the party hats look like…how much throw up is put in the trash per week at Sandra’s office…..I want to know!

I’m a fan of the one about throwing up in the trash and taking the bag out and throwing it outside. If the lady or ladies in the office are bulemic, I’m sure they don’t want anyone to know they have an eating disorder. That’s why they make an effort to eat in front of their co-workers and then throw it up in the washroom after. Which is why shepd that the vomit is larger than the actually digested poo. Not that I fake eat in front of my co-workers and use the bathroom after…

She is doing just fine in prison after being convicted for the murder of Sandra.

You see, Sandra’s body was found drowned in a toilet in the womens ladies room, which was overflowing because it just couldn’t handle any big jobs. This disproved the theory that women were scientifically known to be cleaner than men, but at least there was plenty of privacy for the act since men had to use the locked men’s room on the first floor.

There was some sort of hat shoved in Sandra’s anus, with two rib bones nearby indicating that they were used as some sort of primitive speculum to assist in the hat placement. A $5 bill was found wrapped around each finger. A six pack of “Peaches – No Sugar Added” fruit cups had been stacked ceremoniously on the tank top along with a religious icon, appearing as some sort of offering to a St. Pauline Visintainer, the patron saint of diabetics. An extremely large garbage bag full of “throw-up”, apparantly collected after many months of Friday potlucks, was fascined to her left foot with a staple remover. No one was quite sure whose vomit that was; it is a well-known fact that you can’t dust for vomit.

Although these details indicated a level of premeditation and unbridled rage that caused the jury to give Casey In Human Resources the harshest possible sentence, short of death, it also gave her enormous street cred in prison.

Casey now has her own little gang, including several bitches to do her bidding. That’s just how she rolls. Though she will be behind bars for life, she sleeps easily knowing that one PAN menace has been eradicated forever.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.