Mardi Gras Dos And Don'ts

The Dos & Don'ts Of Mardi Gras

It’s Mardi Gras, but the party ends before it even begins. You get two black eyes after chanting “show your tits” at a group of girls on St. Charles Avenue. (Little did you know that one of them was the debutante daughter of a prominent attorney.)

A few hours later, you find yourself passed out in a pool of vomit in Jackson Square after drowning your sorrows in Hand Grenades on Bourbon Street. And before you can finish relieving yourself on Andrew Jackson’s statue, you’re whisked away in handcuffs by the NOPD.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There’s plenty of fun to be had during the carnival season, and it helps to have some insider knowledge before you hit the streets. Here is AM's guide to finding the best places to party, how to stay out of trouble, and how to have the time of your life while doing it.

Do: Arrive early

Mardi Gras falls on February 21st this year, but it’s so much more than just a single day, with the big parades starting the preceding Thursday. For locals, the weekend before Fat Tuesday is a nonstop party, making the big day itself feel almost anticlimactic. If you just showed up, well, there's always next year.

Don’t: Pee in the street

This is a one-way ticket to Central Lockup. The cops will put up with a lot of boundary pushing — underage drinking, lewd behavior, public drunkenness — but public urination is where they draw the line. Do yourself a favor and stake out a bathroom for each parade. There are some port-o-potties along the route, but they can be hard to come by. (And by the end of the night, they can be downright disgusting.) Schools and churches along the route are a good bet and allow bathroom access for a small fee. Most of the bars and restaurants will let you use their facilities, although some only allow access every time you buy a beer, which can turn into a vicious cycle.

Do: Plan around the must-see parades

You haven't experienced Mardi Gras unless you've been to a couple of parades. Here’s a rundown of the best parades, or "krewes," that roll in the lead-up to Fat Tuesday:Thursday: Krewe of Muses — an outrageous all-female krewe known for throwing glittery shoes.Friday: Krewe d’Etat — political satire on parade.Saturday: Krewe of Endymion — elaborate floats with lots of local attitude.Sunday: Krewe of Bacchus — one of the “super krewes,” known for its opulent fiber-optic floats and celebrity grand marshals.Monday: Krewe of Orpheus — music-themed parade founded by New Orleanian Harry Connick Jr.

Don’t: Yell "show your tits" anywhere but on Bourbon Street

The Uptown and Mid-City parade routes, especially mansion-lined St. Charles Avenue, are filled with families, and the locals don’t tolerate that kind of behavior — even if all ages of people appear to be getting wasted. Wanton exhibitionism is mostly limited to the balconies on Bourbon. And should any ladies choose to fulfill your request, return the favor with a respectable pair of beads.

Do: Venture outside of the French Quarter

Of course you’re going to want to spend at least a few hours at Ground Zero. But Mardi Gras is a citywide party and should be enjoyed accordingly. St. Charles Avenue in Uptown New Orleans is where most of the parades roll, so you’ll want to familiarize yourself with this area. Canal Street in Mid-City is where you can catch Endymion, not to mention some great restaurants like Mandina's and Ye Old College Inn. The Faubourg Marigny and Bywater neighborhoods, just outside the Quarter, are known for their eclectic bars and free-spiritedness. This is your best bet for avoiding tourist traps. One word of caution: Crime is an unfortunate reality in New Orleans, so use street smarts. Stick to the parade routes and major thoroughfares, and check with a local before mapping out where you plan to walk.

As for video cameras? That’s just bad karma, especially if you have a teenage daughter in your future.