While playing dominoes with friends shortly after his knee surgery, a depressed Kenny McKinley said that he should just kill himself. "No one believed he was serious," said the Arapahoe County sheriff's report released after the Broncos receiver's suicide Monday.

That type of response is common among friends and family of suicidal people, experts say, even though talking about suicide is a key warning sign.

"It's absolutely about fear, and the hope that it will go away," said Jarrod Hindman, program manager at the state Office of Suicide Prevention. "We've socialized ourselves to believe that (suicide) is an issue that will go away if we leave it alone.

"It's kind of like how we used to think about sex: We don't talk about it, they won't do it," he said. "But we've got to get past that."

Colorado's suicide rate is higher than it has been in 20 years, and the state's top suicide- prevention advocates gathered Friday at Lookout Mountain Community Church in Genesee to "battle the ignorance," said Hindman, which contributes to the social stigma that makes the issue difficult to discuss.

According to the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, there were 940 suicides in 2009, or about 18.4 per 100,000, the highest since 1988, when the rate was 18.9. Most were men. Most were between the ages of 25 and 45.

Advertisement

Health officials attributed the increase to such things as high unemployment rates and poor access to crisis mental-health services.

States in the Rocky Mountain West have the highest suicide rates in the country, and one of the theories is a "cowboy mentality" encourages suffering in silence, Hindman said.

But as prevention advocates work to counter this tendency by emphasizing the need to speak up about having suicidal thoughts, there is the equally important need to learn to listen to cries for help — even if they are disguised as black humor, such as, "If I don't get this job, I can always kill myself."

The best way to handle whether someone is serious — or joking — is to directly ask.

"Suicidal people won't dismiss it," said Bill Porter, a board member of the Suicide Prevention Coalition of Colorado. They'll think, " 'Oh, that person feels comfortable talking about it,' because what they're used to is people going, 'I hope you're joking, because I don't want anything to do about that.' "

If the person admits to feeling suicidal, it's important to immediately connect them with a suicide hotline or mental health professional, he said.

The fear of invading someone's private darkness is a barrier that must be overcome. "That's part of being a community, being willing to ask those questions," Porter said.

In Porter's neighborhood, four husbands of young families are out of work. Their wives are supporting them, temporarily, and he makes sure to reach out to the men.

Call for help, ASAP

If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, immediately call 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255). The national suicide hotline is staffed around the clock with certified members of the American Association of Suicidology.

Rockies are on pace to lose 93 games this seasonThe Rockies lost three of four in St. Louis and are on pace to lose 93 games as they come home for a three-game series with Seattle before going back on the road again to face Washington.