I found out something that was quite confronting and stopped me in my tracks a little yesterday.

The company I work for (which I joined almost 3 weeks ago) held skin cancer screening sessions yesterday, flying a doctor from Sydney to Melbourne. I booked in, of course, as I have been meaning to get my skin checked for ages but, like most people, hardly EVER go to the doctors even when I'm sick...let alone for a check when I'm not.

A bruise-like circular mark, shaded black and brown in places, showed up almost overnight under my big toenail on my right foot about 2 and half weeks ago and I pointed it out to my fiance, to which he went "hmmm could be just a bruise..."

I know I didnt bang it so I doubted it and had a closer look and thought "It looks like an irregular shaped mole under there...should have that checked to see if it's not skin cancer when I get the time..."

So I show this doc yesterday, when it was my turn for a check and instantly he grew very concerned and told me that, if it's diagnosed as what he is pretty sure it is, then it is VERY serious. He told me it's likely to be a melanoma. Then he made me lie down and checked my lymph nodes on my groin area and under my knees.

He delayed seeing my other workmates so that he could go to a phone and start calling around to get me in to get a biopsy. Some told him I could come in Wednesday next week, which he said "No, I want her seen today or tomorrow...!".

Since it's almost Xmas, he was told we were lucky to even get Wednesday. So, he booked me into a place for Wednesday.

He kept saying he wished he could do it himself but he didn't have any equipment. I spoke to him today and he said that all he wanted me to do yesterday was go home because he felt for me running around work slammed-busy and having to smile etc.

So, looks like I'm getting biopsied on Wednesday. The surgeon isnt sure whether he will be able to do it, since it's under the toenail, or whether he'll need to send me to a hospital.

I got home last night and, being the usual 'have-to-know-EVERY-detail-about-something' person I am, I researched melanoma's (sub-searched -melanoma's under the toenail) and felt like I was gonna throw up. My fiance said "enough" and booted me off the computer, saying he had to send emails for something or other but I know he did it to stop me scaring myself any further.When I spoke to the nurse of the clinic I booked into, she said "word of advice, DON'T go digging about on the net, it's not gonna do your mind any good..." I told her Josh kicked me off the comp and she said "Smart man..good on him..."

This is a strange feeling, like the world has slowed down to a stop and I'm lookin around goin "huh? Why we stoppin..." only to realize everyone else is still riding the merry-go-round but I'm suddenly standing on the sidelines by myself. I've been looking at things randomly today and appreciating it for what it all is, life....in all it's interestingness...amongst other descriptions.

Please everyone, this was a wake up call for me yesterday and I'm hoping it might serve as a wake up call to you too...

Don't be complacent about these things....if something seems odd...don't think " oh I'll get around to seeing a doctor about it...." Just go, check it out.

If I hadn't joined this company and they hadn't held these skin screening sessions, I might have gotten around to seeing a doc in maybe 4- 5 months time. Maybe when the advanced signs started kicking in, that might've prompted me, I was that complacent.

Oh, guess what else is Wednesday? Josh and I have our first interview with our cae worker at The Australian Department of Immigration! So, we're seeing her at 10:30 am that morning, where we shall spill every private detail we possess (salaries, ex boy-friends names and relationship duration etc) to beg for a spousal visa for my boy...then it's to the clinic at 3pm.

Wish us luck for that day and somewhere in between and after maybe?! We'll be needing it!

I decided to hide my blog post about this, saving it as a 'draft' so it won't show online, because I've given the case worker my blog site address as proof that Josh and I have been in a relationship etc etc. You gotta show these guys things like that, along with birthday cards, emails, letters etc etc etc...to show history. So, I don't want her reading that I have a health problem, just in case it hinders our case.

That is a lot going on in one day! I am SO glad that you found that spot at just the right time. I have my fingers crossed that everything is okay. I'm thinking good thoughts on the immigration front as well. Speaking of blog, I need to catch up on yours, I bet you've got lots of wedding planning going on!

Yeah, it'll be a doozy of a day but it's kinda appropriate that, in the last few days left of 2006, we're gonna be whammied like that as it's been a whammy of a year. Everything has happened, or happening, this year with moving countries, travelling, finding new jobs, being in-between jobs, selling Josh's condo in Toronto (still going), wedding planning , immigration, health probs, etc etc. I just look at it this way, we get it all sorted out in one crazy year then hopefully catch our breath and enjoy it all next year!

Josh looks so drained and like he is running on the whiff of a petrol rag and now he says all else has fallen away and if only one thing turns out well, it's getting this (likely) cancer cut out of me and my health returning to normal. I didn't want this on his shoulders too, as I've been sitting there over the last week telling him to keep going and "that it'll all be fine"...before this lil health thang came along...so it's like "oh and another thing...".
He was at work on the phone to his mum and apparently he was kinda at a loss saying "I'd been waiting for my life to be good for a change and when it seemed like I'd found good, I feel like she might slip away too..." kinda thing but I think that's him doing his usual "prepare for the worst, hope for the best".

I emailed his fam because after Josh spoke to his mum, they all called and left messages (the C word is a sore spot for them, they've lost 7 people to it) and told them it'll be fine...a walk in the park (scuse the pun). It really will be because people have melanomas removed ALL the TIME and are fine, if it's caught early!

This is just a hiccup! My nan is looking after me up there and I believe I was led to this great new job at just the right time for a reason...because this was discovered there... when it wouldnt have been discovered and checked out if I hadn't been there!

Everything happens for a reason, always believed that and this just supports that belief :flower:

Puscas, I aint researching it on the net any more haha! He's right, it's just a case of scaremongering myself because it's all written up to be frightening! There's an ad circulating on tv at the moment though, of a young girl getting surgery for skin cancer and I have to switch it over or look away.