"Anger Management" on FX at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is Charlie Sheen's new series because apparently if you're Charlie Sheen you can get coked out of your brain, beat women, and fuck up your career as many times as you like and people will still hire your ass. I mean, I realize it is the height of hypocrisy for anyone in Hollywood to say "Well, you do drugs so we won't hire you" because, come on, they're ALL doing drugs. At least most of them. But I honestly haven't a damn clue what the hell Charlie Fucking Sheen has in his "pro" column that can outweigh the metric ton of "con". Is it just that he can apparently laugh at himself? "Ha ha, man I'm such a violent train wreck with serious addiction problems. It's hilarious!" Goddamnit. I try not to get angry about television because it really isn't worth it, but the fact that this man still has a career just pushes all my buttons.

"Twenty Twelve" on BBCA at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. Starring the Earl of Grantham! Er, I mean, Hugh Bonneville.

"Wipeout" on ABC at 9:00pm ET. Fifth season summer premiere.

"Louie" on FX at 10:30pm ET. Third season premiere. Your favorite pudgy ginger misanthrope is back for another season.

"Brand X" on FX at 11:00pm ET. Series premiere. FX is just throwing everything out there tonight, the only returning show is "Wilfred". Anyway, fresh off making out with Alec Baldwin in this summer's complete opposite of a blockbuster, Brand is bringing his extremely specific set of talents to FX. I'd start a pool on how long it takes him to get cancelled, but if they're willing to put up with Sheen I have my doubts that Brand could say ANYTHING that would get him fired. But the man does like to surprise, so I wouldn't rule it out.