Friday, May 25, 2012

d12
1. "My labors are at an end now. Farewell! Oh, by the way, I buried a good deal of treasure near the...UURRK."
2. "Alas, I am killed! But I now swear by the dark gods of uttermost night, my shade shall harry our foes forever."
3. "Patron deity/celestial realm, I am coming!"
4. "Behold, it is my end. But do me one final service. Take my most awesome weapon and cast it into the body of water/lava where it shall never be dishonored."
5. "And so! It is bitter. Never again shall I slay and plunder..."
6. "I die. But why? Why was it not irritating party member?"
7. "My only regret is that I have but one life to give for my party."
8. "It is a fitting end for such as I. Live by sword, die by the whatever killed him"
9. "I am finished. Only time now for one final war-shriek of defiance...GLLAAIIIIEEEEEE!!!"
10. "No, not now! Not when there is so much more gold to hoard, so many wineskins to drain, so many dark halls to plunder, so many . . ."
11. "Which one of you devils was supposed to pack the extra healing potion? Ha ha *choke*"
12. "It was my honor to storm the gates of hell with you lot. Well, except for irritating party member, who is a complete bastard."

Thursday, May 24, 2012

d12
1. Bleat of alarmed ungulate
2. Basso warble of some massive unknown songbird
3. Ululation: exceedingly moist, possibly of amphibious origin
4. Rumble of a seismic nature: retainers may be rattled, esp. if expected to go underground
5. Weird shriek of a primate: could be a human or man-ape, too peculiar to say for sure
6. Gallop as of many unshod hooves
7. Colossal footfall, seems to be moving off
8. Clamor: the clash of arms, or maybe just pots and pans
9. Din: a swarm of giant bugs or maybe a giants mill wheel, hard to say
10. Subterranean blast, first of a series (see entry 4)
11. Cracking timbers off in the distance, as if a colossus were gathering firewood
12. Eerie music (see subtable)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

d12
1. Seditious army commander: escaped execution in hail of fireballs and lightning, believed harbored by sketchiest cabal of sorcerers near city
2. Plutocrats displaced by tyrannical usurper: gaining traction among those who yearn for the ol' time oppression they were used to, raising secret armies for planned insurrection
3. Charlatan suicide cult guru: rises in popularity as local economic hardship mounts, spellbinding oratory argues for sacrifice of earthly goods (to be disposed of by temple), public displays of self-annihilation
4. Remnants of not-quite-wiped-out indigenous peoples, driven by fatalistic mores, defiantly throw their lives away in acts of senseless destruction
5. Authorities suspect former court vizier (disappeared after failed coup attempt) hidden by retired member of adventuring party, four of whom maintain residences in the city-state
6. Presumed madman dubbed "The Midnight Dentist" harvests teeth of the noblesse for an unknown arcane purpose
7. Visiting woolly neanderthal dignitary killed aristocrat over insult, now roams the streets in berserk frenzy, a host of guardsmen unable to bring him in
8. Barely perceptible demi-material monstrosity from another sphere breaks out of royal menagerie in bloodbath, linked to certain scrolls now missing from royal library
9. Beloved monarch revealed as animate mummy of pre-cataclysmic age: brought down entire wing of palace upon self and accusers, body never recovered
10. Redmask, populist agitator and author of absurd treatises re: "The Rights of Man", eludes capture, may in fact be several individuals
11. Ambassador from formerly secret subterranean kingdom: walked out of talks with human leadership in disgust, publicly declared human surface hegemony officially at an end, disappeared into newly formed sinkhole, populace descending into paranoid freak-out
12. Roll again but this time assume the result is a totally fictitious red herring designed to keep the people in fear and ready to swallow any nonsense their betters wish to foist upon them while simultaneously occupying any wandering armed miscreants in the area with wild goose chases.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

d12
1. Inflicted upon one another by multidisciplinary team of deities w/unknown agenda
2. Sudden trans-dimensional breach deposits all on campaign world of referee's choice
3. Met in queue for adventuring permits
4. Brought in separately by constabulary for variety of petty charges
5. At prominent aristocrat's ball: some as guests, others as the help and/or for larcenous purposes
6. Felicitous meeting after surviving (super-) natural disaster
7. Newly instituted draft by local regent requiring mandatory registration of all able bodied adults, leaving future party members sequestered w/other "suspicious persons"
8. Rounded up together in raid of den of ill-repute
9. Party arranged by cabal of power hungry sorcerers looking to acquire specific antiquities
10. Various misfortunes land nascent adventurers in stint as galley slaves
11. In the belly of titanic monster on inter-planar binge-and-purge bender
12. Collectively signed up for valueless adventuring class given by crew of doddering "old masters" as scheme to shore up dwindling retirement funds

Thursday, May 17, 2012

d12
1. Imperial courier w/message for gone-missing noble, now afraid to report back to dark masters
2. Petty noble and retainers taking a few days off from lengthy sojourn, reserved entire wing of the establishment, planning extensive revelry
3. Impressively outfitted knight and single squire patiently await sign from the gods before making next move
4. Foreign sage and indentured crew of grad students embarking upon expedition to excavate site of lost temple
5. Sculptor flush with cash from major commision seeking rare minerals to complete pièce de résistance
6. Cult priest travelling w/squad of deadly acolytes, mummified heart and brain of ancient prophet
7. Ancient wizard, having mainlined the last of his potions of longevity to no effect, lies in deathbed slowly snuffing it
8. Temporarily rich thief living large while laying low, sloppy w/drunken braggadocio
9. Silverware salesman who the proprietor suspects may secretly be an imperial inn inspector
10. Permanent resident: venerable retired explorer and cartographer, happy to discuss and show off (but never ever sell) the fruits of his labors
11. Gentleman awaits arrival of distant rival to settle long-delayed matter of honor
12. Idle aristocrats slumming it: participants in an evening of fancy-dress games

Monday, May 14, 2012

d12
1. Giant tarantula has the place completely enveloped in webs, deposited egg sack and scampered off before the cannibalistic little buggers hatch
2. Massive bioluminescent fungal bloom of every hue speeds decomposition of deceased former denizens, continuously launching a noxious miasma of spores
3. Cube jelly has oozed through the wall, now making a clean sweep of things
4. Battered bandit leader and remaining body guards in retreat from superior forces, looking to hole up and lick their wounds
5. Hiding under whatever debris/corpses might be available, an escaped prisoner/hostage
6. Owlbear meticulously grooming itself after run-in with acid pudding (absorbed in its work and easily surprised), telegraphed by strong stench of partially digested fur
7. Flock of land vultures doing what they do best
8. A pack of humanoid deserters in hiding from their dark masters and not averse to temporary alliances
9. Frustrated lesser vampire displaced from lair, seeking the perfect spot for a crypt-away-from-home
10. Swarm of hideous dungeon fairies busily constructing a new hive out of chewed bones and saliva
11. Party of adventurers taking a break, busting out rations, draining wineskins, arguing over map, cleric removing spear from dwarf, barbarian loudly expressing his trust issues re: the wizard
12. Thousands upon thousands of flies

Monday, May 7, 2012

d12
1. The Seventeen Swamps of Serenity: voted down repeatedly for incorporation into the Seven Heavens, afterlife reward zone for all good sentient amphibians, reptiles, jellies
2. The realm of chrome and steel: shiny, highly polished 1980's airbrush-world w/liquid steel flora and fauna
3. The Hell of Bitterest Regret: the whiniest, mopiest most depressing zone imaginable filled with totally self-absorbed spirits all trying to out-suffer each other
4. Sorcerer/scientist's control group universe: proving ground for new and improved technologies and magics, introduced populations of clones of various species, starting to develop independent cultures (driven by inter-species warfare)
5. Epidermia: rolling plains of flesh under blood-red skies, happy grazing grounds for all manner of intelligent mites, ticks, chiggers and other parasites
6. Sphere of lucid dreams: terrain, events and denizens shaped by whatever minds might enter
7. Halloween world: populated entirely by goblins, witches, villains, movie monsters and horror hosts, every house is haunted, every cauldron bubbles over with evil
8. Mischievia: a spiritual realm whose impish occupants speak nothing but jokes, plot nothing but pranks
9. The Cosmic Hive: an insect heaven of perpetual blissful buzzing
10. Sphere of internment: a truly maximum security facility housing troublemakers from a million universes, can be entered by powerful sorceries but no one has left yet
11. Domain of the First Cause: infinite thrumming being of white light in repose, due to singular nature will immediately annihilate the current reality to set off big bang if somehow awakened
12. The Dungeon-verse: near infinite network of doors, corridors, rooms, tricks, traps, monsters, and treasures without intelligible purpose, the sub-creation of a capricious god since assassinated by his peers

Sunday, May 6, 2012

d12
1. Blade vibrates like electric knife, negates armor bonus of opponent
2. So wickedly awesome to view when drawn (accompanied by extra-loud Hollywood TSHIIING!) weaker foes must check morale or reconsider engagement
3. Mighty chop can sunder any single object in twain (up to the size of a house or small bridge): success destroys the weapon
4. Emits gale-force winds against enemy missile fire once per day
5. Chaotic component of blade breaks bonds of iron molecules, speedily corroding arms and armor of enemies
6. Shrieks obscenities in ancient language, timed to disrupt concentration of attackers
7. Spell-cleaving: once per day may chop an active spell out of existence (examples: extinguishing a fireball in mid-flight, hacking off lightning bolt)
8. May be hurled once per day with deadly accuracy and significant damage bonus
9. Dazzlingly shiny and selectively reflective, opponents cannot look directly at wielder
10. Can be commanded to self-destruct, will begin counting backwards from 100, explodes with extremely destructive force upon reaching zero
11. Ghost blade made for trans-planar warfare, only gives mortals the chills, works beautifully against the incorporeal
12. Reality hack: arcane energies may be permanently spent for emergency hack through substance of material plane, allowing for escape/travel into the aether

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

d12
1. Grand promenade of the prehuman city: cave tenements, former domain of the subhumans, now housing for cult fanatics awaiting the arrival of their terrible deity
2. Ambient whirring from below as of a great engine pushed to its maximum exertion
3. Anti-subhuman traps around perimeter: tripwire activated catapults loaded w/nails and glass
4. Forum of the prehumans now used by cultists' for public execution of heretics, captured enemies (especially numerous: albino mermen)
5. Deep dwarfs under contract to excavate new vaulted chamber to house cult deity, will disallow any attempt to observe their work in progress
6. Scientific installation of the prehumans, refitted for sorcery by the cult high priests: perpetual contact with deity established via huge half-magic communication device
7. Howling chasm houses large hive of chaos flies, rapidly multiplying and growing more bold in their choice of prey
8. Witch subsect of cult finds current leadership sub par, schemes dubious: planning assassinations, looking to hire
9. Foulflow River enters several sections of level, currently alive with aggressive giant phagocytes, harvested as protein source by subhumans, cultists, and several species of subterranean monster
10. Natural caverns gradually descend to level four, former game preserve of the prehuman civilization, still haunted by myriad horrors from the unguessed past
11. Giant river monster like a fetal bird that projects beams of terror from its unopened eyes
12. Deep dwarfs carving out new underworld byway breach gas filled chamber, releasing from stasis horde of headless naked man-creatures with two-handed swords and little regard for their own safety