Thank you all so, so, so much for your positive thoughts and prayers for Django. It is with incredible heartache and immeasurable sadness and grief that I share the sad news that Django died yesterday.

One of my favorite pictures of the three of us from our beach vacation last September.

In my last update, I told you that he was diagnosed with immune-mediated polyarthritis (IMPA), a painful and serious condition that causes joint inflammation and pain, after having an undiagnosed high fever for a week. He started the treatment of immunosuppressants, and after a day improved slightly. Instead of eating nothing, he started to eat a few spoons of peanut butter. After being the same for a few days with no further improvement, I asked his vet if I should be worried. She said no, that it could just take time for the meds to work, and to be worried if he got worse or his behavior changed.

On Friday, he ate canned dog food–his first real food in nearly two weeks. We were encouraged. Saturday I went out and bought him all sorts of canned dog food and his favorite foods, sure that recovery was just around the corner.

But that changed by Saturday night. He was no longer eating and seemed to be a little worse. On Sunday, he was much worse. He refused to even look at peanut butter and was moving significantly more slowly. He seemed to have a lot of trouble laying down on the bed. And his breathing was labored. Dave and I were both up with him Sunday night, and he was in very, very bad shape. He couldn’t seem to lay down on his bed at all, and put his head on his bolster as if to try to sleep standing up. He stood at his water bowl for a long time, just staring, and struggled drinking water. And when I went to take him outside, he was unsteady on his feet because he was so weak from not eating.

I decided to take him to the ER at 6 a.m. on Monday, thinking that they’d adjust his meds, and I’d have him home in time to start the work day. Instead, I got the worst news. He had fluid around his lungs, which could be caused by cancer, a side effect of the immunosuppressants, or something else. Finding the cause of this new complication would require many days in the hospital and many more tests. And the vet was not at all optimistic that even if they found the cause–and in some cases of IMPA, there is no cause–it would be a very long and difficult road ahead for him because he had not responded to treatment like 80% of dogs do. She gently suggested considering euthanasia.

I called Dave, and he drove up to the ER so we could discuss it. At this point, Django had lost 20 pounds and weighed just 54 pounds. His pain was so obvious in how he struggled to lie down and move. His eyes were so sad and had tear marks under them as if he’d been crying. We knew that we could not put him through yet another hospital stay and more tests, especially when the chances of him getting better seemed slim.

We spent hours with him in an exam room, kissing him, hugging him, and telling him what a good boy he was. And we held him while he passed away.

Even knowing what was going to happen…having him pass away in our arms was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through in my life, second only to my father dying when I was a teenager.

I didn’t expect to lose Django that morning. Throughout this ordeal of him being sick, I never even considered he wouldn’t get better. I just thought it might take a long time. I always assumed Django would be with us for years. He would have turned 8 in June; we adopted him right before his second birthday.

Last Tuesday was the 19th anniversary of when Dave and I started dating. In all that time, this is the hardest thing we’ve gone through together. We have had two cats who had cancer, and that was very difficult. But the difference is that we knew the outcome and were somewhat prepared for it. With Django, we always assumed he would make it through.

To say we are devastated is an understatement. To say our lives revolved around Django isn’t. Our days were planned around him–fitting in his walk before I went to work, making sure I left work in time to take him out, planning our weekends around fun places to take him for a walk, taking him with us to local pet-friendly breweries, taking him to friends’ houses for get-together (because he’d been invited), taking him on weekend trips and vacations.

It’s simply unbearable to imagine life without him. His gorgeous eyes, his expressive ears, his silly personality–I’ll never get to experience them again. What’s left are constant reminders of our loss–his empty bed, his empty bowls, all the food I just bought for him, his collars, coats, and leashes.

My heart constantly aches, and I can’t stop crying. I miss him so much.

We took yesterday off and grieved. My cat Orla definitely knew we were sad and would lay on my lap every time I started crying. Orla was his buddy. The other cats swirled around us all day. It’s different for all of us.

I didn’t know how I’d go to work today. I had to interview someone first thing in the morning and then had a meeting with my boss’s boss. I put on makeup, thinking I wouldn’t cry. And then I cried the entire walk in. Work was a welcome distraction, and I didn’t cry as much as I would have if I’d worked from home. At the end of the day, I realized I had no reason to leave at a certain time. Django wouldn’t be waiting to go on his walk. I cried the whole walk home. And then I saw a package in the mail from the hospital where we took him yesterday, and I knew what it was–his collar. I walked into the house and just bawled when I saw his empty bed.

I’m so sad that he’s gone and so sad that he was so sick for two weeks and I couldn’t make him better. I can’t stop thinking of his sad eyes yesterday morning. I am trying to think of the positives: he’s not suffering anymore, we were with him almost nonstop the two weeks he was sick (I worked from home most of that time and slept in the living room with him because he couldn’t walk up the stairs to the bedroom), the weather was nice those two weeks so he didn’t have to deal with snow and extreme cold while not feeling good, and that we could be there and comfort him at the very end. I know he knew how much we loved him.

I’m so sorry this is so sad. I had planned on giving you all a positive update on how well he was doing. I would give anything for that to have happened.

Django was my everything. He was such a good boy, and I’m honored to have had him in my life. I can’t imagine life without him, but I’m trying to taking it one day at a time. I’m not sure about the future of this blog. I’m too sad right now to care about anything else. While I’m not saying goodbye, I am saying farewell until I have a better handle on my grief. And thank you so much for all your support and positive thoughts throughout this. It means so much to me!!!

I have sad news to share. My greyhound Django has been very ill for more than a week with a mystery illness.

He spent two days at an animal hospital last week due to an extremely high fever. After running every test imaginable, they weren’t able to come up with a diagnosis. They wanted to keep him at the hospital and see if the meds they were giving him helped. But he was not doing well there–I witnessed this when I visited him. He’s used to being in a calm and quiet environment, which is not an animal hospital. Plus, this hospital essentially gouged me on costs. To have him there for two days and have tests run cost nearly as much as what other friends paid to have their pets at another animal hospital for longer after going through major surgery. I basically had to fight this hospital to come get him–they made it seem like he would die if I took him home. It was a really bad experience, on top of being worried sick. I’m very upset at this hospital for a number of different things that happened.

I brought him home, and after a day of seeming to get better, his fever skyrocketed. I took him to the other animal hospital in the area. They pretty quickly came to a potential diagnosis. The first animal hospital suspected a bacterial infection–a tick-borne disease (though he is vaccinated for Lyme) or leptospirosis, which is from bacteria in pond or puddle water. But all the antibiotics they gave him did nothing to bring down his fever. The second animal hospital suspected Immune-Mediated Polyarthritis (IMPA), which causes join inflammation and pain (and fever). They kept him overnight, gave him a low dose of the steroids that are used to treat IMPA, and by the next day his fever was gone and I was able to take him home. I had a much better experience at this hospital.

The test results aren’t back yet, but we are proceeding with giving him the meds to treat IMPA. While his fever is gone, he has extreme pain, and it hurts him to move around. Plus, he lost his appetite a week ago when he had the fever and has not eaten much in a week. He has lost more than 10 pounds and is skin and bones. It’s so hard for me to see him like this.

If he has IMPA, he should start feeling better on the meds this week, though it can take up to two weeks. The full treatment can take up to six months, and recovery is very slow. It’s a lifelong condition that will need to be managed. If he doesn’t start feeling better, then we are going to have to run even more diagnostics. Or, he may have IMPA and not respond to treatment, which happens in some cases.

Today he seems to be feeling a tiny bit better. He’s drinking and peeing a lot and taking his meds, which are the most important things. And he ate a few spoons of peanut butter plus even a few small bites of ground meat–his first solid food in a week. But he is still very sick and in pain. He’s getting pain meds on top of his other meds, but the only other thing I can do is keep him comfortable on cushiony beds until he starts feeling better.

Poor Django. This whole situation breaks my heart. I’m trying to keep my thoughts positive and always talk really positive to him. But I hate seeing him like this. This is one of the hardest, saddest things I’ve ever had to deal with.

So I have not been blogging, running much, or really doing anything besides scouring Google for everything I can read about what he’s going through. Please send positive thoughts our way!

Happy New Year! The first days of 2018 have brought my longest break from running outside of my two-week recovery post-marathon. The last time I ran was Christmas Eve two weeks ago. I’m sure you know why because most of the country has dealt with the same thing–frigid weather with temps not above 20 for two straight weeks.

I’m sure everyone has their own tales of woe during this arctic blast, and not running is definitely a first-world problem. Staying warm and safe in daily life trumps not being able to run. Still, when I’ve lamented to non-running friends that I haven’t been running, the response is always along the lines of, People run in this weather!?!? Ha! It makes me not feel too bad. My bigger concerns have been getting to work and getting the dog out.

I’ve been walking to work and didn’t have to go in to the office the week of Christmas when it first got bad. On my first day back after the new year, it was in the single digits with wind chills below zero. I bundled up in all my layers and headed out. The cold wasn’t the issue. It was the wind. I wore sunglasses, but the cold wind was so fierce that it made my eyes weep the entire walk in. By the time I got into the office, my makeup was a disaster and my eyes were completely blurry from build-up from all the tears on my contacts. And I had just got out a new pair of contacts the day before. I literally could not see. I had to leave work to go to CVS to get contact solution and then had to go to the restroom about 20 times during the day to rinse my contacts. By the time I left for the day, my eyes were burning and itchy and still blurry–and then I had to walk home in the same windy conditions.

I had to throw away those new contacts even after deep cleaning them with an enzyme cleaner twice because the tear deposits just wouldn’t come off. After that I started wearing my glasses instead of contacts.

I also tried something new–taking the bus! A coworker helped me navigate our port authority’s confusing website and find a bus I could take. Turns out there is one right at the end of my street that takes 10 minutes to get right across the street from my building. I can’t believe I never looked into that before! I rode the bus one morning and one evening, and it was awesome. I still plan to walk to work, but I’m so happy I have a plan B option if I can’t walk in.

And then there’s Django. Greyhounds are unlike other dogs in that they have very little body fat; the anesthesia for greyhounds is different from what it is for any other dogs because greyhounds’ bodies are so different. Plus, Django has very little fur and is bald on his belly and butt. So greyhounds are more susceptible to extreme weather conditions. Every time he has to go out in really cold temps, I have to put two coats on him and booties. Add to that all my own layers, and it’s 10 minutes just to get us ready to leave the house. Well, when it got super cold, Django did not want to go potty once he was outside. This isn’t an issue when I’m at home and can take him whenever he can’t hold it anymore, but when we had to go back to work, he had to go early before we left for the day. So on some days I was late for work because I had to take him out a few times to get him to do his business. Luckily I was working from home on the worst day, because on our morning walk he peed a single time; for reference, he usually pees like 50 and poops at least once. I guess for him it’s better to hold it than to poop in the cold!

The cold spell is breaking today, and it’s supposed to be much warmer this week. Hooray! I’m excited to get back to running.

The main activity I’ve been doing is Pilates. I’d been lifting heavy weights in November and December and wanted to switch it up. I have a Pilates DVD using the ring (or toning circle) and have been doing that consistently the past two weeks. There are two 30-minute segments, one focused on upper body and core and the second focused on lower body and core, plus a bonus 10-minute abs segment. I’ve been absolutely loving these workouts. It’s so interesting to me how these small, intense movements can give such a great workout. And it’s just a nice break from lifting weights. I think I might get other Pilates DVDs because I’m really enjoying the workouts.

I got a lot of deep cleaning in my house done and continue to cook a lot (I got cookbooks and a bunch of cooking stuff for Christmas.) But I’ve also started one totally frivolous activity–playing with makeup!

Probably around seven years ago, I got really into all-natural makeup and skincare after attending a seminar where I learned how makeup and skincare isn’t regulated, and there are toxic ingredients in even the most high-end brands. I threw out all of my makeup and skincare. I focused on finding good, non-toxic skincare but just never really got much into makeup. I had signed up for Goodbeing, the beauty subscription box focused on natural brands, and got a few makeup items from that. But I really didn’t use much makeup beyond a tinted moisturizer, concealer, mascara, and just a bit of blush, eye shadow, and lip balm. And, you know, most of us runners (or the ones I know at least) just do not wear much makeup, probably because the time we spend doing makeup could be time we spend running!

Before the holidays, Tarte Cosmetics had a huge sale. On a whim, I decided to buy some makeup because I really didn’t have much, and what I do have is like five years old. Now, Tarte is not 100% natural–the green beauty purists tend to bash it because of that. But, my thinking on makeup has changed a bit. I still use good-for-me skincare (mainly the Arcona line), but will using eyeshadow that’s not 100% natural kill me? Probably not. Even though they’re not 100% natural, Tarte (and Josie Maran) is good enough for me.

So, I bought an eyeshadow palette. Once I got it, I opened it and had no idea what to do with it. So I went onto YouTube and found the huge and wonderful community of beauty YouTubers. Have you seen them? It’s like this whole other universe! The first videos I watched from women using this palette were all very young, very beautiful women, all using more makeup than I ever thought possible for any one person to use. I mean, on their eyes alone they would use primer, then powder, then a base shade, then a transition shade, then about ten different shades in the crease, lid, browbone, inner corner, and under the eye. Then they’d use eyeliner on both the top and bottom eye, then eyeshadow over the eyeliner. Then they top it off with fake eyelashes and a crazy amount of mascara. For me, who usually only used mascara and a single shade of shadow that I simply swiped on without any thought, I was amazed. I honestly had no idea that putting on so much makeup was a thing! But I tried some tutorials (minus a lot of the layers like fake eyelashes) and started really having fun. Turns out, playing with makeup is pretty fun!

Then, after Christmas, Tarte had another huge 70% off sale. Everything was so cheap, and I ended up buying a ton. With my haul and watching YouTube beauty bloggers constantly, I am now doing things I have never done before, like doing my eyebrows (which is actually more than tweezing stray hairs that I’d only previously done) and sculpting and highlighting. You should have seen my husband’s face when I told him I was sculpting my nose. I cleaned out my bathroom shelves, bought organizers and organized all my makeup, and now can easily spend an hour doing my makeup. And, usually, it still looks like I’m not wearing makeup, ha ha! As fun as it is to play with and as much as I try to achieve dramatic looks, I always gravitate back to soft and natural looking. We went out last night and I wore a red lipstick that I got in one of my holiday collections. I was actually a little uncomfortable! Here are a few of the makeup looks I’ve done.

Day look (taken while waiting for my car to warm up on a 5-degree day)Makeup for a partyNew Year’s Eve makeupGoing out last night with bright red lips

I will have a Lululemon review up this week for the new Scuba Glyde Hoodie. I bought that along with the Hotty Hot Long Shorts in this gorgeous deep maroon red color (I think it’s Deep Luxe?) when they went on sale. Yes, on days when it’s 1 degree, I’m buying shorts. Winter won’t last forever!

Welcome

Running is no fun if you don't look cute doing it! In this blog I share my passion for running and activewear. I'm chronicling my ever-evolving journey as a runner. I also post activewear reviews, healthy plant-based recipes, and pictures of my greyhound and kitties. Read more about me. Thanks for visiting!