To take a quick break from sports, I’m going to write about another popular topic on SWTCTW- strange weddings. (For evidence of this, please click here and here) Everyone has heard the jokes about marriage being a life sentence and whatnot. This story is the perfect combination of all these things in a sick and twisted way. Oh man, my mind is whirling with puns and bad jokes that I could make. Okay, maybe just one… Nihita Biswas can literally call her future hubby the old ball and chain.

Confessed French serial killer Charles Sobhraj, who is 64 and serving a life sentence in Nepal, is engaged to marry Nihita, a 20-year-old Nepalese girl. Here is their how we met story: they met when she was applying to be a translator for one of his lawyers. (Cute? No?) Oh, and he is best known by his criminal nickname, “The Serpent”.

There are so many things wrong with this! Besides the whole killing people thing, I don’t think I could ever marry someone with a nickname that sounds like it comes from a Batman movie! (Sidenote: I am so excited for the new Batman movie. Why, Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeath, why? I love you.) What are his evil powers, besides the obvious? I wish this was an episode of Scrubs and you could see what goes on in my head. Damn my wild imagination.

Even though you can’t see what goes on in my head, use your own to imagine the conversation she had with her mother. Moms essentially all ask the same basic questions when it comes to learning about the new man in her daughter’s life. What is his name? What is he like? What does he do? Or in the case of marriage, they ask when the date for the wedding is. For the Serpent and his lady, this all depends on whether the Nepal Supreme Court accepts his appeal and let’s him out of his life sentence. Good luck with that. The point is, not one answer to any of the basic questions is good! How do even you answer ‘what does he do’?

Instead of answering all of these questions for the news story, the blushing bride to be commented on the 44 year age gap between them.

“I am mature enough to decide for myself,” she said. “Age does not make a difference.”

Age is the least of your worries, hun. I think your number one priority should be, umm, staying alive.

The Frenchman has in the past admitted to killing several Western tourists, and he is believed to have murdered at least 20 people in Afghanistan, India, Thailand, Turkey, Nepal, Iran and Hong Kong during the 1970s.

So this story isn’t quite Sunday New York Times wedding announcement material, but it’s still a wedding announcement. Congratulations to the happy couple? I demand an invite and there best be an open bar.