Percy Saltzman Web Log

Percy's Messages

Below are blog entries that Percy made during his later years when he sponsored this site and started blogging. You may use the Previous or Next links to move through the messages. Alternatively you can pick one from the pulldown list based on date and topic.

I had no such luck. I’ll tell you, if I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

My name was put up several times for the Big Kahuna. Nada. Nichevo. Nil. Nix. Nozzing. Lesser lights got it, but not I.

I don’t know how to win the G.G.P.A.A. But I do know a dozen different ways how not to win it.

Here’s how not:

Being the very first anglophone face on newly-minted Canadian television won’t do it.

Being the very first weatherman in Canadian television history won’t do it.

Being for years and years the only professional meteorologist on Canadian television won’t hack it.

Teaching the laws of weather science to thousands and thousands of Canadians – both young and old – via the boob-tube – across several generations won’t do it.

Being on the TV screen each and every night of each and every week for nigh on to thirty (30) years – a span of three generations – in the fifties, sixties, seventies and eighties – certainly didn’t do it.

In short being the fustest with the mostest didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, won’t and can’t do it. Not for me, at any rate.

Oh yes! Being in the Mounties bad books seems not to have helped either. Do you smell the sulphur of Senator Joe McCarthy?

Why, even a Non-Performer got it! Hah! As Victor Mature (he who, said Groucho, had bigger tits than his leading lady) said: “I’m no actor and I got 40 movies to prove it!” As Percy said, “I’m a top Principal Performer and I’ve got 9000 principal performances to prove it!”

Ah well! Vanity, vanity – all is vanity!

So now you can see why I put myself up there in the august line-up: Albert, Charlie, Leo, Groucho, Vic – and me?

We’re all losers, that’s why.

So how do you grab the brass ring? Well, you got to ride that merry-go-round round and round and round and round. Like I did for 30 years. But that didn’t hack it, did it?