Friday

Oct 22, 2010 at 12:01 AMOct 22, 2010 at 10:17 PM

With just weeks until the Congressional midterm elections that will shape the legislative leadership, Democrats are increasingly focused on generating uninterest within the base of unlikely voters who they say are more likely to respond to their unenthusiastic message than “traditional voters.”

Editor's note: This is a satirical column and is not meant to be taken as fact.

With just weeks until the Congressional midterm elections that will shape the legislative leadership, Democrats are increasingly focused on generating uninterest within the base of unlikely voters who they say are more likely to respond to their unenthusiastic message than “traditional voters.”

Laying out an unfocused agenda leaden with apathy and laden with unresponsiveness during a series of dispirited campaign rallies across the nation, Democratic candidates in tough reelection campaigns say their ideas seem to be resonating with the unmotivated masses.

After months of trying, without success, to energize, cajole, wheedle and even shame the left into action for the upcoming elections, Democratic strategists have turned their sights on the politically directionless, a largely overlooked but influential group of electorally uninvolved Americans. And now, as the midterm election nears, these Democratic strategists think they may have found an approach to win over a vast new bloc of indifferent support to match the Tea Party momentum that has propelled Republicans this year.

“There are millions of unlikely voters who didn’t come out in 2008, some were even first-time unlikely voters who are still planning not to vote in the midterm this fall. That is a huge segment of our adult population. We don’t have the luxury of continuing to ignore them just because they don’t vote,” one Democratic congressman said. “I think the takeaway for us is it is easier to maintain indifference than enthusiasm.”

“We’re done blaming (House Speaker Nancy) Pelosi and distancing ourselves from the president. Frankly, we just can’t be bothered, what with so much else going on in our lives,” said a longtime Democratic strategist.

Democrats have stepped up their unlikely-voter campaign efforts significantly in recent weeks, holding late-night fundraisers at 24-hour laundromats in New Jersey and Illinois, and a webcast town hall meeting last week on MTV and five other channels aimed at the millions of young unlikely voters, some of whom showed up to watch outfitted with backward facing tri-corner hats and carrying signs with messages such as: “Don’t Tread On My Indifference” and “You Can’t Make Me Get Involved.”

“Enthusiasm and hundreds of millions in secret campaign contributions will make you look stronger on television news shows and in the polls, but that isn’t going to get you very far with unlikely voters,” noted a Democratic senator.

“Tiresomeness and detachment may not be sexy, but it gets the job done a heck of a lot better than zeal and anger,” he added. “And we’re here to finish the job, no matter how boring that may seem.”

Ed Blank, president of a local unlikely voter group in Virginia, said that it had taken awhile for the Democrats to find an incoherent message that spoke to the indifference of unlikely voters, but that over the last month the party seems to have found its footing with a murky and uninteresting message that is empathetic with the lackadaisical concerns of unlikely voters.

“I see the ennui,” Mr. Blank told reporters on Tuesday. “I don’t see them out there that much. They don’t seem to be doing door knocks. And when they are out there, they don’t seem to be focused on things and they don’t seem to understand the importance of this election.”

“It’s great that the Democrats are showing an apathetic spirit in the weeks before an election, but what these unlikely voters need to see is that same apathetic spirit when they’re governing,” said Joe Bland, a co-founder of the Unconcerned Unlikely Voters Campaign Committee, a group started last year to advocate for less involvement, fewer goals and more lackluster candidates.

Democratic leaders said the appeal to the base of unlikely voters stems entirely from political reality. “It’s not frustration at all,” one House committee chairman said. “It’s fundamental. Almost the entire Republican margin is based on the gap between the votes of likely voters — but what about the unlikely voters? They don’t’ tend to vote Republican, so we figure there has to be a way to use this to our advantage. If this works the way we hope it will, it could be a game-changer for the party.”

A leader with the liberal group Democracy for America, said activists were willing to put aside any squabbles with unlikely voters now if it means winning their support for the midterm elections.

“We’re soldiering on,” he said. “We’re going to do this one way or the other. We’re going to work to keep the majority. At the end of the day, whatever issues we have with what the unlikely voters don’t say and don’t do, well, we can have that conversation on Nov. 3.”

No Way, an organization of unenthusiastic Democrats, produced a study showing that unlikely voters are the largest share of the electorate and substantial enough to keep Congress in Democratic hands. Citing Gallup polling data, the study said self-described unlikely voters invariably outnumber Democratic, Republican, or independent voters.

“Unlikely voters have a clear choice now,” said a Democratic congressman, brimming with the party’s newfound confidence and world-weariness. “There is only one party that is willing to stand up for tedium and torpor, and I am confident that that will show on Nov. 2.”

Philip Maddocks can be reached at pmaddock@cnc.com.

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.