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Topic Review (Newest First)

03-11-2012 10:54 AM

sailorswife

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

Thank you for your kind words Donna (DRFerron) they cheered me up. Not sure whether I will be a sailor for life (am 99% sure I won't) but at least I can try to make the best of the foreseeable sailing future.

03-07-2012 11:46 PM

travlin-easy

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

I think I've banged the hatch with every kind of hat made. The best, at least the hat that provided the most protection, was a stetson--Lots of room between the top of the hat and your head.

Cheers,

Gary

03-07-2012 10:36 PM

Capt Len

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

For head banging you can't beat a Cowichan wool toque.Classy too on 202 cm.

03-07-2012 10:13 AM

Donna_F

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

ENOUGH Tilley-bashing!

I love my Tilley hat! It even gives me money. Although I'm sure a more logical explanation is that I put the $20 in the secret compartment and then just forgot about it.

Now, as much as marriage and sailing can generate emotion, that is nothing compared to JordanH's inflammatory remark:

"Dorky" Tilly hat - tread lightly friend. Them's fighting words!

I suppose the wearing of a Tilly hat could constitute cruelty sufficient to be grounds for divorce, assuming:

1. the blatant dorkiness is intentional and not genetically based;
2. the victimized spouse had no idea her intended was so afflicted with dorkiness to rise to the level of wearing a Tilly hat (Relevant questions: Did your intended ever wear a plaid sports coat before you were married? Listen to Abba or Barry Manilow? Cry during a karoake rendition of "Feelings"?)

03-07-2012 04:13 AM

MarioG

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

I'm very lucky, from the start my 1st mate was a natural. She seems to have a feel for it, even when we were just starting you would have thought she had been sailing for years, she could read the wind on the water and trim the sails accordingly. She might not have know all the terms but from the start she has been able to sail any of our 3 boats with little to no help from me. The only arguements are for time at the helm.

Now, as much as marriage and sailing can generate emotion, that is nothing compared to JordanH's inflammatory remark:

"Dorky" Tilly hat - tread lightly friend. Them's fighting words!

Mine has been around the world - Italy, Asia, Caribbean and sailed around the Great Lakes. The first hat ever sold was to someone in my yacht club... I believe Alex was a member, although I don't see his name in the book at present.

But lets call a spade a spade. You aren't going to be seeing those wonderful (dorky) hats on the cover of People, Rolling Stone, or any fashion magazine.

03-06-2012 05:25 PM

johnnyquest37

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

What an interesting thread. Of course, our marriages tend to generate much emotion. Add sailing in what can at times be stressful conditions (even when nothing is going wrong), and our marriages can really start to generate emotion.

The original question was posed about by the husband essentialy asking how can he encourage his wife to become more proficient. It is a valid question since they have to rely upon each other as crewmates.

I am a sailing instructor and have taught several couples and I formally instructed my own wife (ASA 101 and 103). In general, I think it is a bad idea for a husband to instruct his wife, but in my case it went pretty well. It is also sometimes a bad idea for husbands and wives to take sailing courses together, especially if there is a wide disparity in their interest level. When one spouse is going along with the training to appease the other spouse, tension can develop when things start to get stressful. Anyone who has sailed with their spouse knows what I am talking about. This tension can be magnified during formal instruction. My recommednation in this case is for the husband to suggest that the wife take a course without him being present.

But, if she is not interested in taking a course or becoming at all proficient, then what? Personally, I think he needs to discuss with her his fears and his expectations. Perhaps they can come to an agreement as to what level of proficiency she should strive for. At a minimum, she should be able to drop the sails, engage the engine, and broadcast/call for help. This is not for the husband's sake - if he goes overboard he is lost. This is for her sake so that she has a chance to survive if she finds herself alone on the boat. The more proficient she can become, the better for him and the better for her. I'd not worry about docking and anchoring so much - yes these are important skills, but if she is suddenly alone on the boat, a poor job of docking is the least of her worries.

One respondant posted about his experience falling through a hatch and his wife having to take over. The only accident/injury I've ever experienced at sea was very similar. I fell through a hatch after messing with the mainsail. My wife and I were sailing over a long weekend with another couple (non-sailors) aboard. I was hurt pretty badly, but thankfully there were no broken bones. My wife was completely able to control the boat for the rest of the day both under sail and later on the engine. With the help of our friends, she was more than able to dock the boat. Her ability to handle the boat was the difference between being embarrassed and being in trouble.

Now, as much as marriage and sailing can generate emotion, that is nothing compared to JordanH's inflammatory remark:

I *hate* that. Although, we don't have a hatch on which to leave open/closed, I have hit my head many times because of ball caps in the same way. One way to avoid it is to give up the ball cap in favour of a dorky Tilley hat. Outside of the better sun protection, they also have a foam top which cushions the blow on those hatch/head meetings!

...
I think it is really all about feeling that you are not the only one in the world with this problem. Knowing that other people have gone through the same issues and survived helps. Someone also mentioned that the website should only be about sailing but surely sailing is about your relationship with your boat and your crew which in a lot of cases is your spouse - why should only the relationship with the boat be the one talked about?

Brava!

Welcome to Sailnet, sailorswife. I hope you stick around long enough to get to know us (and feel comfortable enough to tell us your name). Perhaps you can even teach some of these hardened guys a thing or to or at least give them something to think about to make them pause the next time they open their mouths to yell.

Since you said that you read through this entire thread, you are indeed a brave soul for posting anyway. I am not in your position on our boat and I suspect the women who are and read this thread will probably not contribute but sometimes it only takes one pebble to start the avalanche.

Be that as it may, Sailnet has as members some strong women sailors who are willing to help their sister sailors, whence the reason for the HerSailNet forum was started even if the men do lurk in the shadows before jumping out at the unsuspecting (and contribute here more than the women). Just don't forget that we're here and we're out there. We don't always entirely agree with each other, but we have no problem disagreeing in a respectful manner that I hope certain men take note of.

Three that come to mind who I know have reached out to sailors on the water and have provided me with a lion's share of inspiration are wingnwing, melrna and Denise. I hope to be them when I grow up.

So welcome and I hope you stick around. When you get the required number of posts feel free to PM me if you have sailing questions or concerns or fears you want to air and don't feel comfortable bringing up before the peanut gallery. If I don't know the answer, I'll know who to ask.

03-06-2012 03:27 PM

Squidd

Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

Rule #1..never talk about Fight Club...

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