Mr. In-The-Meantime

Okay so I’m sure I’m not the only one who has an in-the-meantime or in-between guy. You know a person who is always there for you after your relationship ends. He knows how to play his position and is willing to step back when you’re dating someone else.Recently, mine has been trying to make his way to the forefront. I remember having the biggest crush on him freshman year in college and when we finally met our sophomore year the sparks flew but of course I had a boyfriend. Since I had a boyfriend and was determined not to cheat on him things went nowhere. At first, he tried anything and everything to get in-between me and my boyfriend, then realize it wasn’t going to happen so he eventually gave up. Since then I’ve dated a lot of guys but the cycle with my in-the-meantime guy has gone on for nearly 10 years. It’s not that he’s not a great guy, attractive, successful, never been married, no kids and meets all of my qualifications (lol) but for the life of me I just can’t seem to think of him as potential. I always see him strictly as the in-the-meantime guy, someone to take up my time in-between dating other people.Even as sophomores in college, he’d profess how much he loved me and how we’d get married one day. He still says this every time we talk and always knows the right thing to say at the right time. When I broke up with my most recent ex, guess who was there? I really wish and want to see him as more but I can’t. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve put him in that category for so long or maybe I’m secretly scared of getting hurt. My friends seem to think there’s a reason why he’s been around for so long and that I should give him a chance.I would love to hear from others who are in or have been in a similar situation. Any advice/comments on how I should handle this situation would be appreciated.

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3 thoughts on “Mr. In-The-Meantime”

I believe the reality of it is, that once you have that person whose willing to take such a position, some of their potential wears off. It’s as if he was your creep on the side, can we ever make our ‘creeps’ our MAN? Nope, it won’t work. Unfortunately, they may be a great person, but in your gut you know if they’re willing to be there for you, they will for someone else. If they were able to make time to comfort you, they’ve shown how easy it is to manipulate time. We women are fickle. Once we have destroyed the fantasy, it’s hard to go backwards. At least I know it is for me! *MDSteelerGal*

This happens to a lot of women (or at least I know it’s happened to me). If you say he’s a good guy, then he probably is (as women, we know how to sift through the BS). If he truly didn’t see value in you or a potential relationship, he wouldn’t have stuck it out this long. Maybe subconsciously, you might be putting him in the “I can’t see us as more than friends” category because he’s been there for so long and because you know he IS a good guy and you wouldn’t want it to end like it did w/the others. It seems like you all already have the first step in building a good relationship: a true friendship. Maybe to see if you would really like him, you could try spending more time together to see if you can get past only seeing him as potential. Take him outside of that element so he’ll have to show you his romantic side and then see if you like it. Maybe something will actually come of it. You know they say sometimes the one for you has been right in front of you all along. Hopefully this makes sense. Good luck!*Keeyana*