Story of the Week

Feb 3, 2012

Montana provides our first headline this week: Montana Man Starts Police Chase as Part of His ‘Bucket List.’ John, a sober, but stupid, 55 year old man, “just wanted to see what it was like to be in a police chase.” He followed a police car for several blocks before accelerating his SUV and passing the cruiser. John took off at a high rate of speed with the police giving chase. The speeds of the chase reached over 100 miles an hour. Other officers laid down spike strips and took John’s tires out. John was arrested on a number of traffic charges and will face some hefty fines and probably have his driver’s license suspended. He will also need a new set of tires for his SUV, but at least he can check the police chase off his Bucket List.

Second Place this week comes from Arizona: Woman Fights to Run for City Council Despite not Speaking English Proficiently. Alejandrina Cabrera wants to serve on the Phoenix City Council. The problem is that her, “English skills did not meet the level of language proficiency needed to serve on the council.” Is it just me or are we going insane as a nation? Some cities have proposed allowing illegal immigrants to vote. We already provide millions of dollars a year to illegals in free medical care, welfare, food stamps, etc. Now this woman who has limited English skills wants to run for an elected position. There are already parts of our great nation that look, smell, and sound like a third world nation. I even policed in some of those communities. Is the next step in our decline participating in third world politics?

And First Place this week goes this crazy story out of Connecticut: Connecticut Cannibal Suspect to Appear in Court. Tyree not only killed someone, he ate them. Or at least parts of them. If you want all the gory details, you can Google the headline. It is not pretty. The story helpfully points out that Tyree has a history of mental problems? Really? I would have never guessed. You do have to feel for his family. Hours before Tyree killed and ate his victim, he told his cousin he was going to kill someone. Nicole just thought it was more of his crazy ramblings that he is known for. “Who the hell would think you could be related to someone like this?” she told the newspaper. “I mean, I’ve heard of Hannibal Lecter, but I never thought I could have someone in my family who would actually eat someone.” I wonder how that family does holidays? Do you invite Tyree over for Thanksgiving or not? You would have to be very careful how you spoke to Tyree. Misunderstandings could be disastrous. And make sure you insert those commas! “Let’s eat, granddad,” or “Let’s eat granddad?”