SABEAN WILL TRADE ALL THE GOOD PROSPECTS TO BILLY BEANE FOR AGING VETS. BEANE WILL THEN TRADE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE JUST AS THEY GET GOOD FOR MORE YOUNGSTERS. THEN SAID TEAM WILL SEND THEM BACK TO SABEAN AS THEY GET OLD. HE WILL THEN SIGN BARRY ZITO TO AN EXTENSION.

I think Farthammer sits atop a mountain, nestled in a yellow-and-green beanbag. He exclaims his comments to a battery of monks, who then run down the mountain and type everything at a Bay Area FedEx Kinkos.

In uplifting Mariners news, SI reports that the M's failed to reach waiver deals on both Ibanez and Washburn. This would mark the second time a team is willing to take that suck-ass pitcher and his ridiculous salary and the second time the M's front office whiffs. This is the worst organization in baseball.

Ibanez is a good hitter, but he and Tom Morello share similar zone ratings. Watching him play left, especially at Safeco, is painful/hilarious. Keeping him is defensible, since his contract runs out at the end of the season (and, considering his RBI total, he'll likely be a Type A free agent, so the M's will reap some draft pick rewards--which, by the way, they will fuck up spectacularly).