Don't Let Children Use The Ovenhttps://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com
breaking the rules... a lotSun, 18 Feb 2018 05:04:26 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://s2.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.pngDon't Let Children Use The Ovenhttps://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com
Ad Hochttps://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/ad-hoc/
https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/ad-hoc/#respondSun, 09 Mar 2014 21:08:26 +0000http://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/?p=490Continue reading]]>So I finally got out the camera again! And today we went to an awesome restaurant by Thomas Keller, Ad Hoc, in this super cute town called Yountville. I’m not gonna review or anything, but I thought you guys might like to see the pictures!

(So this is basically pic spam, beware.)

First thing we saw in the parking lot was this balloon. (??)

Those are my mismatched socks and my shoes. They’re only a month old but they’re really dirty. I have a thing for photographing shoes, apparently

.

Supercool stone flower statue we found on the way walking to Bouchon Bakery.

The bakery! It was pretty cold out and the sun had disappeared but it was awesome to smell the bread as we went in, and it wasn’t a long line, at least not compared to last time.

The orange dishes are champagne sorbet with tulle, mint, and lime curd; the white ones are vanilla ice cream with chocolate pearls.

]]>https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/ad-hoc/feed/0beccawittmanImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageChai Masala Lattehttps://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/chai-masala-latte/
https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/chai-masala-latte/#respondSat, 01 Mar 2014 05:00:16 +0000http://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/?p=461Continue reading]]>Dude, I totally thought I would have posted this by now.

‘Cause if you hadn’t noticed, I’m a little obsessed with it.

I’m mostly making this since I feel terrible for letting my little corner of the internet rot away but I also felt I owed it to you guys to let you experience the wonderful tea-y bliss. (Also I’m pretty bored. It’s 8:30 Saturday night and I’m sitting in bed drinking from a mason jar of tea in a sweater that smells like wet dog. I swear I just washed it. It sits in the laundry basket for the day and when I get home it smells like a Chihuahua after a rainstorm. Thanks, Jack.)

(I totally could have been at the music night tonight but I am severely lacking in what my friends lovingly call “social swag”. Whatever. Next time.)

Typically what we Americans think of as chai is actually masala chai, which is black tea that’s spiiiicy. Hot hot hot! Actually it’s not that hot, just pleasantly burning. If that’s a thing. “Pleasantly burning”. Ha.

The spices are usually

ginger

cinnamon

cardamom

pepper

clove

nutmeg

And Tea Gods be praised it tastes good.

But you all know I ain’t got the time for making my own spice blend so if you wanna do that click here or just follow my recipe and buy some masala chai tea bags. I like Lipton or Numi Organic Teas but you know what, use whatever the hell you want to.

I usually wing it so this isn’t really a set recipe but more of a “here-are-the-ingredients: eyeball-it-and-good-luck-padawan” suggestion.

Masala Chai Latte:

water

milk

teabags (or looseleaf to but you have to strain it – I don’t have a strainer so I just boil looseleaf tea and then pour it over a paper towel and into the cup, which works great)

sugar/honey/crystallized ginger/sweetener/whatever floats your boat

vanilla

That’s literally it. Literally.

So what you wanna do is fill your kettle with water and put on the stove. Preferably over a flame so it actually gets hot. Go ahead and throw your tea in there right away because you are a fierce warrior and can handle some strong tea, yo. (Or if you’re not then wait until it gets hot, whatever.)

Then on a separate burner put some milk in a saucepan and splash some vanilla in there and honey, if honey’s your thing. Let that get hot. Put a teabag in that too and stir.

As soon as your kettle starts whistling turn the heat off and let it sit for a couple minutes. Of course, how strong it is will depend on how long you leave it in. I left mine in for like five minutes because I am a strong independent woman who don’t need no weak tea but if weak tea is your thing, go for it, just leave it in for two or three. Whatever. Guess and check, guys.

Then put a paper towel over the saucepan with the milk in it and pour your beautiful brown leafwater over it. The liquid will mix with the milk but the paper towel will catch all the little looseleaf bits. If you just used teabags then pour it straight in.

Then pour your heavenly-smelling latte into a mug or jar or whatever, sweeten to your taste, and chug it. Or actually sip it at first cause it’s gonna be really hot.

My hair is pink, I have been to a Literal Middle School Dance, and I’ve forgotten to study for a test more than once. I listen to good bands with sadly weird names that make people think you’re emo or spend your free time making cosplays. Yesterday I had to borrow my teacher’s shoes. I don’t cry when I bite my tongue anymore. I have converted various friends to my cult TV shows. Yesterday I ran a relay in heels. This seventh grader is also slightly obsessed with bath and body products.

I totally ditched you guys, I am so so sorry. I would have had something up last weekend but Picnic Day came around and…well. You can’t miss Picnic Day.
But, I’m here to share with you the recipe for the best vanilla pudding I’ve ever tasted(coincidentally, from a teacher whom I called a ditcher after she switched jobs..aha..ha…whoops?), so you better forgive me. I promise I’ll get a decent size post up soon…pinkie swear.
no, but seriously, this is the best. Muahahha.
(Autocorrect tried to make that into Muaha Shau…what?)

Combine milk, vanilla, and half of the sugar in a pan over medium heat. In a separate bowl, whisk together the rest of the sugar, egg yolks, flour and salt until light. When the milk boils, slowly add to the eggs, and once it’s in there for a minute add butter. Voila!

Perfect to fill things with, use as decoration, or just eat while you watch a movie(cough les mis cough maybe?). You could throw some zest in there and make a citrus or a chocolate pudding…have fun with it!

Yeah, I’m not a normal student. I get so insanely bored over breaks it’s not even funny(plus, I’m the only one out of the Blob – my group of closer friends – that is actually staying here for the break…yay).

On the other hand I’m planning on honing my hobbit skills over the break. Fun, right? Plus, I’ve got two new addictions(hello Howrse* and Pottermore*), a Greek tragedy to finish, and a ridiculously hard piano piece to learn(make that three).

And this is why baking exists! To solve the problem of the boredom, like I don’t have enough schoolwork.

Anyway, I joined the Daring Bakers! If you don’t know what they are, first of all, you should, and second of all, it’s basically a group of baking bloggers that gather. Once a month someone will “host” it and pick a baking challenge and everyone will go off and do a different rendition and – why, yes, I am late, how apt of you to ask!

Nor do I have any pictures at the moment, but hey, at least I did it, and they were yummy.

These are gorgeous and bright green with no artificial colorings – they’re colored by spinach you can’t actually taste. Bet you can’t guess what this month’s challenge was*.

(*It was hidden vegetables.)

Natural Mint Chocolate Chip Muffins

from Vegan Yack Attack

Cupcakes

3¼ C.All Purpose Flour

1½ C. Sugar

2 tsp. Baking Soda

1 tsp. Sea Salt

1 C. Baby Spinach, Firmly Packed

½ C. Unsweetened Apple Sauce

2 Tbsp. White Vinegar

1 tsp. Vanilla Extract

1 tsp. Pure Mint Extract

2 C. Ice Cold Water

¾-1 C. Mini Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (depending on how much chocolate you want)

Glaze

¾ C. Powdered Sugar

2½ Tbsp. Non-Dairy Milk

1¼ tsp. Mint Extract

Line two muffin tins with cupcake liners. Preheat oven to 350 Fahrenheit.

Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. In a food processor or blender, combine spinach, water, extracts, and vinegar until there are no spinach bits left in the mixture. Mix wet ingredients into the dry, making sure there are no dry pockets left, and add chocolate chips to taste. Bake for 15-20 mins.

Glaze:

Sift powdered sugar into a small saucepan and pour your non-dairy milk into it. Whisk together until there is no clumps and the mixture is almost clear, then add mint extract. Drizzle over muffin-cakes to taste.(Couldn’t decide whether these were cupcakes or muffins. ?)

And – to top it off – these are vegan! And healthy*!

*They’ve got spinach.

*I’m really flipping bad at potions.

*I’m really flipping good at obsessing over pixel horses.

Adios!

xoxo Becca

]]>https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/mint-chocolate-chip-cupcakes-and-the-daring-bakers/feed/0beccawittmanNew York Cheesecakehttps://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/new-york-cheesecake/
https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/new-york-cheesecake/#commentsThu, 21 Mar 2013 04:15:51 +0000http://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/?p=436Continue reading]]>Things that happen while you forget to blog:
1. “I just want a little more coffee.”
2. Birthdays pop out of nowhere and scare the hell out of you, because you suck at time
management.
3. The full Les Mis album comes out on iTunes. The full one, not the one missing twelve songs that you bought right after seeing the movie, without a second thought.
4. You go into allowance-debt because your wallet has buckled under the stress of birthdays and fandom.
5. You have a Fangirl Moment and tear up at Fantine’s death song, because it was not deemed worthy to be on the limited album and you haven’t heard it since the last time you saw the movie.
6. You realize that the last time you saw the movie was actually the third time you saw it…and you were trying to get your mom to let you see it a fourth time.
7. Your Birthday Friend introduced you to Les Mis and is even more Fangirl, so you have the opportunity to order her the DVD for both the movie and the twenty-fifth anniversary musical edition and then stare at it(while drooling slightly.)
8. You realize that some people actually worship Eponine and Javert as a couple. Um, okay.
9. Upon listening to “The Bargain” – the song where Valjean finds Cosette in the woods – you start laughing at the fact that there is a line that goes “Do not be afraid of me/Don’t hide/Show me where you live.” (Seriously.)
10. You make cheesecake.

Yep, it just so happens that not only does your awesome Birthday Friend love Les Mis as much as you do, but she just happens to love cheesecake as much as you do. And yes, cheesecake is totally my thing. (Except when Ihave to eat it. I hate eating stuff that I make – apparently it’s a chef thing.) My claim to fame – except that I read The Deathly Hallows in two days, somehow memorized almost the whole Les Mis soundtrack after listening to it for a week straight, and being Ms. Sarcasm – is definitely my cheesecake. And believe me, this is the king of cheesecakes. (There was a time we killed the king/We tried to change the world too fast/Now that we’ve got another king/He’s no better than the last! No, but seriously.) I’ve made it too many times to count and it has never ever failed me. Of course everyone thinks I put a ton of effort into it, but please, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Am I right?

There aren’t any pictures yet because its still in the oven as I write this and it’s late anyway. (Another good thing about this is that it gives me license to stay up late – hello, foodgawker.) Anyway, this cheesecake is rich and creamy and light and tangy all at the same time and is absolutely fantabulous without being super-complicated.

Crust:
In a small bowl, combine crackers, butter, and sugar. Line a springform pan with the crust mixture, using a measuring cup to flatten it; spread over sides of pan as well. Put it in the fridge until ready to use.

Filling:
Beat cream cheese until smooth and fluffy. Mix in sugar; when combined, add eggs one at a time, beating well(30 sec.) after each. Then mix in heavy cream and vanilla until thoroughly combined; pour into crust and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
Once your timer goes off, TURN THE HEAT DOWN TO 250. Then bake for an hour or so more, until it is set but still jiggles when you shake it, especially in the middle. This will take FOREVER. Don’t lose faith. (Just sing-repeat “Something’s gotta happen now, something’s gotta give. It’ll come, it’ll come, it’ll come, it’ll come.” (Guess where that’s from?))

If you’re making it for someone important – let it cool to room temperature on the counter, then put it in the fridge. This will prevent cracks. If its nobody especially important, just stick it in the fridge on top of a towel as soon as it comes out. It’ll crack, but still taste just as good, obviously.

Au revoir!

xoxo Becca

]]>https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/new-york-cheesecake/feed/1beccawittmanMassive Cookies: Snickerdoodles and Death by Chocolatehttps://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2013/03/10/massive-cookies-snickerdoodles-and-death-by-chocolate/
https://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/2013/03/10/massive-cookies-snickerdoodles-and-death-by-chocolate/#commentsSun, 10 Mar 2013 22:02:45 +0000http://dontletchildrenusetheoven.wordpress.com/?p=435Continue reading]]>Ugh.
An update.
Finallyyyyyyyy.
It has taken forever for me to get my lazy butt moving, not to mention I saw my Guilty Pleasure in the freezer isle(I’m sorry!) a couple days ago and have been totally distracted. (Also, you have no idea how long it takes to draw a decent-looking falcon/human hybrid Greek goddess. It’s a school thing, trust me.) Also, I was looking at the expiration date on the Guilty Pleasure and it literally says best by February eleventh…2014.
It’s so bad. I know.
Well, anyway, my cousin was sleeping over yesterday and we were both hankering for a snickerdoodle(that sounds so. weird.), and I’d seen a recipe on Sally’s Baking Addiction(best.site.ever) just a couple days ago, so I basically went eh, I want a cookie, lets have a cookie.
It was massive and delicious and massive, and, before, could take a picture, it had disappeared before my eyes. (Oops.)
It did make a darn good snickerdoodle, though, and I felt like making another cookie, so I made Sally’s XXL Death by Chocolate cookie, and I literally died. Almost.
Well, the computers being stupid and not letting me upload pictures, so I’ll just do that later – but here are the recipes – MAKE THEM.

Cream butter and sugars until crumbly. Add egg and vanilla and mix until thoroughly combined. In a separate bowl, mix dry ingredients(baking powder, flour, cocoa powder) and then add in two or three batches to the wet mix, mixing until just combined. Take your chocolate chips and dump in however many you want. Mix until combined, but as little as possible. Shape into a tall ball with a spatula or spoon on a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Bake in a 350 Fahrenheit oven for around 15 minutes, but since its such a dark cookie already, try do it more au pif(by the nose…or by the ears, or chopsticks, or whatever.). Take out, let cool, and enjoy.

Cream together butter and sugar until crumbly looking. Add egg and vanilla and mix well. Add dry ingredients(flour, baking powder, cinnamon) slowly, mixing as little as possible. Shape into a tall ball on a greased/parchment paper lined baking sheet and sprinkle with up to 1/4 tsp cinnamon or even more if you’re crazy a fanatic. Sprinkle with around 1/2 tsp. sugar as well, then bake in a 350 Fahrenheit oven for 10-15 mins. (Do this one by the eyes.) Cool. Eat.

Alright, fine, thats a lie too – making bread is as fun as anything. What I do hate, though, is yeast.

Ugh. Yeast.

I have baaaaad experiences with yeast. I swear, the first rolls I made turned out amazing. The three times afterward they were flat and dense and ugh. I haven’t made anything yeast relatedsince.

But, well, you saw what happened with caramel. I was going to have to do something sometime.

So around then I was seeing all this Mardi Gras stuff on foodgawker(best. site. ever) and found this thing called a King Cake, which looked absolutely gorgeous, and I was immediately tempted. I would have done it before Fat Tuesday, but life calls(as in, I had to bake something for my teacher).

Well, at least I got it done – AND IT WAS SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. I swear, it was just amazing – I was- I was in shock.

And- and guys. GUESS. WHAT.

The dough rose.

I swear, it really did. It was ridiculous how excited I got, but come on – it ROSE, guys, it rose.

I just…gah.

On top of that, I got chai extract in the mail today.

Repeat after me: chai. Extract.

Yes, I may or may not have a slight obsession with chai tea – I have obsessions with near everything, but let’s not go into that – and now it’s a bit challenging to go to sleep without it(yeah, sorry). But seriously, I swear – best tea ever. Especially if you steep it in milk, with honey…ohemgee.

Okay, I overreact to food, I admit, but I can’t help it. I can predict that by 2014 I will have overflowing boxes of really weird extracts and spices no one can pronounce. YOLO.

(Speaking of which, did YOLO go out of fashion, or did everyone who was saying YOLO die…?)

Oh, and anyone planning on watching the Oscars tonight? I am SUPER SUPER excited – not only is Les Mis in for Best Film(picture, movie, whatever the heck you want to call it), but “Suddenly” is in for Best Original Song(excuse my un-fanciness), Anne Hathaway is in for Best Supporting Actress, and Hugh Jackman for Best Actor…or something. Plus Jennifer Lawrence being nominated for Best Actress. I haven’t watched Silver Linings Playbook or anything, but c’mon guys, it’s Jennifer Lawrence. Seriously.

In a medium sized bowl combine yeast, warm water, and 2 teaspoons of sugar. Put in a WARM PLACE for ten minutes. (WARM. PLACE. Put it in the microwave, microwave it for 5 seconds, then leave it alone for the next ten minutes.)

This is what it should look like after ten minutes – a high, foamy, bubbly mass of glory.

Oh, and if you want it to look god while you’re taking pictures, don’t put the yeast in last. Just don’t.

Knead until it pulls away from the sides of the bowl around 3-4-5 minutes. Don’t worry if it looks really thick or dense, or is really stretchy or feels like rubber – once it rises, it’ll be fine.

Cover with plastic wrap, tin foil, clean towel, and store in a WARM PLACE for 1 1/2 hours.

After that it should look like this:

And then you have permission to jump up and down and freak out.

About now is when you’ll want to make your cream cheese mixture – just mix everything together until smooth.

Then flour your work surface and roll it out until a thin, 1/4 inch-ish rectangle shape(or just something that looks approximately like a rectangle). The thing will be a behemoth. Fear not – just spread your cream cheese over it in an even layer:

(Sorry for the crap pictures – by now it was like eight and super-dark outside.)

Roll it up into an even log, twist it into a circle around a mason jar, pinch the ends together, cover it with a towel, and let rise in a WARM PLACE for 45 minutes.

Then pop it into a 350 Fahrenheit oven(does anyone know where the little degrees sign is? grrr) for 25-30 minutes and your all done.

I haven’t decorated it yet(shame, shame, shame) but I’ll give you guys a picture in just a little bit – I swear.

But seriously, I am not on good terms with this thing. I attempted caramel buttercream once. I got burn spots all over my arms, blisters on three of my fingers, and three unusable batches of caramel – one burned, one spilled, one seized.
It didn’t really work.

However, I am not going to be bested by sugar, butter, and cream.

There aren’t any pictures yet – sorry! However, I’d somehow mustered the will to try try try again, under the guidance of bFeedme. Surprisingly, the first batch it went rather well – a bit burnt, perhaps, but otherwise gorgeous, easy, and friendly.

Of course, I wasn’t satisfied. Second batch, here we come.
I was staring at it, waiting for it to cool down, until I could take no more and shoved a warm spoonful into my mouth.

Jackpot!

So, let me just say: if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again, and once you make this, you will never go back.

Ever.

No-Fail Caramel Sauce
(from bFeedme)

1 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup room temp. heavy cream

In a largish saucepan over medium heat, melt sugar. Stir occasionally, making sure no bumps are apparent. After it turns an amber color, add the butter in all at once and stir until completely melted. Take off heat, add cream(CAREFULLY! It will spit at you – very rude), stir, and take a giant whiff. Homemade caramel smells buttery and sweet and hot and rainbow-like. I swear.

Let cool, transfer to a container of your choice, and store wherever the heck you want – fridge, countertop, secret wizard lair, whatever. Best of luck to you!

Fill a medium saucepan with around two inches of water and let simmer on medium heat. In the bowl of your stand mixer(MUST use this bowl), combine egg whites and sugar. Rest bowl over saucepan and whisk until smooth.

Remove mixer bowl and turn of heat. Place bowl in your stand mixer and, with the whisk attachment, whip until the bowl is neutral to the touch(more pictures coming soon). Add it butter and Nutella and whisk until smooth. Pipe onto cupcakes and eat immediately.Happy Valentine’s Day! I can testify that these are really good Valentines presents to yourself…they’re delicious.
Beware.