Date: January 22, 2016

Editor’s note. Due to time constraints and some problems with the email this morning the team weren’t able to submit their own bios so I have done my best. Our Founder, Brian did manage to send me the following:

Do I look like I give a monkey’s bollock? Can’t you do it?

Brian Smudge – Founder of Lazy Planet

Nice hair. Brian May.

Brian has been working in blogging for all of five minutes now and already knows he’s destined for greatness. Frequently hungover for no explicable reason, Brian has various allergies that impede his ability to interact with keyboards. He once met Lionel Blair, who is not, as far as we can tell, aware of the interaction and has resisted all attempts to rekindle the relationship. Brian lives with his mother, and has two cats. Or possibly that’s the other way round.

Linaeus

Arty.

Linaeus joins us from Sweden where he recently graduated from a degree in plasticine modelling. He likes girls, talking, wearing scarves, coffee, photography and being admired by strangers from afar. Pet hates include Tube passengers who put their feet on seats and the serial mis-management of nuclear waste. He has several pairs of identical trousers.

Bethan

I don’t think this is her.

Bethan is the only girl on the team but she hates it when people draw attention to it, almost as much as we hate it when she uses it as an excuse for not getting a round in. She likes reading, travelling and meeting new people. Recently Bethan took up knitting, complaining about the Great British Bake off on Twitter and sky diving. Bethan will be celebrating her eightieth birthday this May.

Dean

Where?

Dean likes music. Mainly his own, which he records with his mate Ropey Pete. They are going to have a band. That’s what he says. A band.

SidneySidney is the only member of the team to have served time for armed robbery. He likes respect, crisp shirts and to be brought nice things. He has had a tattoo a year since he was five, although it’s impossible to tell how old he is as ninety percent of these are on his inside thigh and no-one has ever ventured down there as far as we can tell. Sidney is very excited about the project and is particularly keen to understand when his expense account will come online.

Emily

WTF?

Emily is the only other girl on the team but don’t tell Bethan. Emily likes horses, partying and the lesser well-known poems of John Hegley. A recent graduate of the University of Durham, Emily is excited about adding new skills to her CV and progressing into a proper career in journalism as soon as it humanly possible.

Welcome

Hi, I’m James Marson, a writer based in South London. My novel, a sci-fi comedy, “The Colour of Robots” is available from Amazon now. Please check it out and some of my other blog posts….