Ever nick a pushbike from Munster Bahnhoff after a night on the wazz to get back to camp.....those were the days

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Same deal while in Minden, Guardroom store had a right collection every Monday, and then there where many that ended up in hedges, ditches, and in the Pads areas, German bike shops must have gone bust when we left!!.

I don't think we have enough soldiers any more to support Neue Arbeit's foreign policy, maintain operational roles and put together guards at establishments - with enough fat to let the really shiny one have a night off!

...some of the MOD Guard Farce look like they need a stick to walk with though...

Stick man, Ive only ever got it once. The guard paraded for its customary ongoing inspection, I think most of them had Bulled their boots and used the NAAFIs entire stock of starch on their creases. I made the neccesary measures to look smart and soldier like, but in comparison to the others, looked like a bag of schitt. The Guard commander gave me stick Man because the others were trying to hard. He said "If youve got that much time to spend on your kit, then youve got feck all else to do. So you may as well be on guard. Get away Pte Skjold"