Pilgrims in a Pickle

“Why hast the wee one moved us to the table? Pure torture. Oooo how I love pie, Ma.”

“Pa remember last year, you got us in a bit of a pickle with the relish. Restraint Pa, restraineth thyself! Back away from the Pie Pa!”

“What thinkest you? Could we make it hither….across the great chasm…”

“Why for Pa?”

“I’ve always dreamed of swimming in pumkin pumpkin puddin.”

“Pa has your pepper gone dry?!”

“Tis a long way under Ma…if we could get to the ottoman below.”

“Pray remember me,…I’m going for the tumble Ma.”

“Mary mother of God Pa…… speak to me….”

“OOOomphff…you’ve lost your pepper Pa…pa…PA!

“[sputter, cough, charkle, snark] Ma, mamamamamMA?”

“How do you get us into these predicaments…over and over, year after year. We could have been broken to bits…smashed to smithereens, cracked down de meedle. It very well could have been the end of our seasoning careers! [gasp]”

“Settle mah….”

“love Pa, if it twernt for my everlasting foolish love for you Pa…I swear I woulda , I woulda….OOooo Pa, gentle now with thy cap.”

“Steady Ma steady……”

“Now what Pa…now what…now WHAT. She is right on the other side of the cupboards Pa….she’s going to find us…and put us back…and what of the hairy beast pa? Have you givin that any thought? HUh? Pa? pa?”

“Ooo you are so nimble Pa, I find your nimbleness very salty Pa….”

“Seriously Ma…now is not the time to get all spicy.”

“Ma, you can do it. She’s at the water vessel. Hoist your petticoat, and join me.”

“I feel a exposed Pa, like Adam and Eve…feeling the need to conceal my inequities.”

“Behind the salt feels safe Pa. Do you feel safe Pa. Are you afeard Pa? Now what Pa.”