“Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.”
Step 10. From 12 x 12

In the late 70s punk rock was born and gave way to what people may recognize as tribal, creating a new form of music and fashion. Honestly for me, it was the family of my dreams. I was encouraged to be as wild and angry expressing myself and all the rage inside of me to the fullest. For me, it was a form of expression. I developed lasting friendships that have witnessed a great portion of my life. I will say that AA is somewhat like that for me. Though I am taught to follow the 12 steps and traditions and I am not drunk like before, I am encouraged to question and I am always accepted in my abstract beliefs. I can truly say that both AA and Punk Rock saved my life.

My sober punk rock friend, who was also part of the punk scene back when, says,

“For me it was pretty much the same. For as long as I can remember, I wanted off this planet! Life at home was terrifying and full of rage. All I wanted was out. I started to drink at age 8 and drugs at 9. That was one way out!

Drugs and alcohol took me away from all “this”. They worked till they didn’t. Finally I found relief. I was also in love with music. As Lou Reed so eloquently put it “it’s my wife and it’s my life”. That applied to drugs, alcohol, and music.

I loved lyrics. Mostly then, they were about drugs and alcohol. Then a friend turned me on to “Punk Rock”. The lyrics were about hate and injustice and they made fun of the status quo. Right up my alley. They perfectly expressed in words, how I felt. This was my new family, my chosen family. I could finally express my darkest feelings and no one minded. They didn’t care that I was broken. In fact they were broken too!

Very much like AA, we had a common bond.

Over the years (at least 35) some of us were lucky enough to find another way to survive. Unfortunately many didn’t. I miss them. There but for the grace of God, there go I.

There has been a resurgence of old skool punk rock. With that, I have reconnected with some old “warriors” from my past. Some will say it’s dangerous to go to clubs to participate in music. And I do participate! For me it’s like a high skool reunion only sexier!”

Do we get into a car when a friend has had a few drinks and insists on driving?

How do we handle that ?

Is it illegal to take away a drunk person’s car keys?

She is demanding her keys back, because they’re her property. She swears she is not planning to drive, but on a previous occasion, when she finally got her keys back, she promptly took off to a local bar. With this precedent, is it legally acceptable to withhold someone’s car keys from them as long as they’re intoxicated?

Etiquette

Entertaining a guest who is an alcoholic in recovery.

Feel free to serve alcohol beverages at your gathering. You need not plan your party around a guest you know is in recovery. “Alcoholism comes in a person, not in a bottle. The recovering alcoholic won’t suddenly relapse if alcohol is available.”

Don’t make a big deal of it if someone at your party is in recovery. There are plenty of reasons people say no to alcohol beverages, including preference, dieting, interactions with medications, and serving as designated driver, as well as being in recovery from alcoholism. There is no reason to differentiate one guest’s reason for abstaining from another’s. If someone declines a drink, don’t ask why.

Include non-alcoholic beverages in your offerings. While some non-drinkers will drink non-alcoholic beer and wine, most recovering alcoholics prefer beverages that don’t look or taste like the real thing.

Foods cooked with wine, brandy, and other spirits long enough to destroy the alcohol content are technically OK. Most, but not all recovering alcoholics feel comfortable eating them, so let guests know what’s cooked with alcohol.

Foods with uncooked alcohol are another matter. If you include them on your buffet table, label them so the recovering alcoholic can steer clear.

The same goes for punch; let guests know if it contains alcohol.

Don’t drink and drive and don’t ride with anyone who has too much to drink. Remember, it is usually themselves and their passengers who are harmed by drunk drivers. Volunteer to be a designated driver.

If you must drive after drinking, stay completely sober:

Don’t be fooled. The contents of the typical bottle or can of beer, glass of wine, or liquor drink each contain virtually identical amounts of pure alcohol. When it comes to alcohol, a drink is a drink is a drink and are all the same to a breathalyzer.

Know your limit.

Eat food while you drink. Food, especially high protein food such as meat, cheese and peanuts, will help slow the absorption of alcohol into your body.

Sip your drink.

Accept a drink only when you really want one. If someone tries to force a drink on you, ask for a non-alcohol beverage instead. If that doesn’t work, “lose” your drink by setting it down somewhere and leaving it.

Skip a drink now and then. Having a non-alcoholic drink between alcoholic ones will help keep your blood alcohol content level down, as does spacing out your alcoholic drink.

Keep active; don’t just sit around and drink. If you stay active you tend to drink less.

Beware of unfamiliar drinks. Some drinks can be deceiving as the alcohol content is not detectable.

Use alcohol carefully in connection with pharmaceuticals.

PROTECT OTHERS

Volunteer to be a designated driver.

Don’t ever let your friends drive drunk. Take their keys, have them stay the night, have them ride home with someone else, call a cab, or do whatever else is necessary – but don’t let them drive!

I took this photo at a UK Subs show last November. This British kid landed right at my feet and was so totally blasted and so obnoxious that his punk “tribe” turned on him. The guy trying to pick him up and care for him was the kid who hit him on the head with the beer bottle.

The kid didn’t die, but he was out cold for a while. Paramedics were called and police. Fun! Fun! Fun!