The Hardwired Hinterland

It's like nothing you have ever seen.

Gangstas, Pirates, Hinterpol, and Team Quest fight for the Ark of the Covenant!

Last we saw our heroes, they were perched on top of the temple complex, and John Cohen, was signaling the Hinterpol airship to come in and pick them up. That’s when someone started shooting at them. Everyone took cover, except for Snapper Hansen, who got shot in the leg for his troubles. He went down, swearing. The Cobra Kid and Doctor Quest rushing to his aid. More tommy gun fire is delivered, making everyone to keep their heads down.

Meanwhile the sound of two RPGs went off and the smoke trails of rocket propelled grenades traced a line up in the sky and hit the Hinterpol airship. Two of its ballonets were damaged and it limped away, dumping ballast.

Everyone on top of the temple began returning fire with their pistols to no effect. One of the Hinterpol agents is hit and falls down the side of the temple, that is, until the scything blades pop out and chop him to bits. Doc Quest swore and started working on super-sizing his lightening crystal modification.

Meanwhile, they spot the five individuals with the crate containing the Ark. Four are carrying it, the other has his hands tied behind his back and is being urged on by the others. John Cohen recognizes him as Peter Cohen. Since they are closer, the group starts shooting at them, winging one of them, and making them to take cover.

Doc Quest finishes his modifications, and says that it will enable everybody to float down to the ground… more or less. Everyone lines up and jump into a hail of fire, the small lightening crystal glowing redly! Suddenly, it flares and burns out 10 feet off the ground. Everyone hits the sand rolling with the impact and the Mighty Hansen leaps up and charges the four gangsters in a hail of bullets.

Reaching his intended victim, he delivers a mighty punch into the face of the felon, shattering bone and leaving a Hansen fist-shaped impression in the flesh. Doc Quest circles around and tries to surprise one of them but is spotted. “Look out, that ginger is over there!”

One thing that everyone notices is that the thugs are partially covered in blood. No one can figure out why.

Nick Samson rushes forward with a flying kick to the head and hits the gangsta in the mutton chops and knocks him out.

One of the gangsters grabs Peter and puts a gun to his head. “Drop your weapons, or I’ll drill him.”

The other gangster shoots a Hinterpol agent. The Hinterpol agents won’t shoot, as they are sworn to serve and protect.

One of the pirates doesn’t have those qualms, and shoots the gangster in the head. The surviving gangster surrenders. He does mention that the two tommy guns were headed this way.

The two tommy guns are seen dodging from statue to statue. Doc Quest warns them that they are outnumbered. That’s when one of the gangsters pulls the pin on a grenade and tosses it at the group. The Mighty Hansen leaps into action, catching the grenade, spins and throws it back at the person who had tossed it. The words “Oh shi…” are followed by an explosion.

The survivor surrenders, tossing out his tommy gun, pistol, bandoleer of grenades, RPG launch tube, and two more RPGs.

They decide that the Ark should be taken to a museum and put on display. The airship limps over and heads for the Helium vent for a refill, as they try to patch one of the ballonets with the remains of the other.

They gather up the surviving Blackwell men, and find out that Peter was kidnapped by Blackwell and tortured by the Butcher Boy. He shows a foot long section of skin that’s healing back from where Blackwell skinned a section off.

They set up camp, and wait for the return of the airship. It takes a day for the airship to return, Doc Quest uses his time to set the facial bones of the thug who had his face broken. The pirates return for their spark plugs and any extra fuel.

The airship returns with a patched ballonet, and the groups separate and head their different ways. They stop at Anson’s Kingdom to refuel, and for Doc Quest to pass out disinformation as to why they went there. The trip to New Akron runs into another thunderstorm, but Samson pilots through it with ease. Landing at Noonan Field in the driving rain, they are met by Davenport who wants them to make a special trip to New Old New York. Only after offering them double pay, they get a bite to eat, refueled and the cargo loaded up. They fly out of the storm that’s hitting New Akron, they arrive at New Old New York and land at LaGuardia airport.

They have to rent a truck to deliver the crates to a place called Wardenclyffe.

As they pull up, they see that the giant tower behind the building is sparking, bolts of electricity playing across it. Then the lights go out in the building and the sparks stop, followed by a flash and a boom from within the building, blowing out some windows.

A tall man, dressed in a labcoat and goggles, staggers out of the building, his hair a mess, with a clean patch were the goggles used to be. He’s followed by others and some smoke. His name is Egon Spengler, and with his fellow scientists, Venkman and Stantz, they are trying to get Wardenclyffe back online. Doc Quest joins their newsletter and they head on out to spend the night in New York.

Next morning, Hansen wakes up tired and finds that his feet are muddy. He has a talk with his talisman, and stows it in his pocket. It turns out that night, someone broke into a jewelry store. But the thieves were found beaten senseless in a muddy ditch.

They fly back to new Akron, back into the thunderstorm that’s sitting over the environ. They settle in and Doc has another liaison with Jessie, Sacha’s wife. He tells her what he was up to, but when she sees the picture of Joe next to his father, she goes white with worry. The evening ends early and she leaves, after giving Doc a peck on the cheek…

Into the lost cities of ancient Egypt for fame and fortune!

Our story opens with the Betty idling down the Nile. Joe Cohen is nervous and asks Nick Samson to hide the Betty in some reeds or under some palm trees. They find a good spot to hide a plane, since there is one there already!

It’s in the red and gold of El Terrible! Joe mutters about if it’s Mark and then shuts up. It is a PBY-5A Catalina seaplane and it has airship trapeze gear on top. It has camp netting over it to hide it from prying eyes. The crew quickly finds another hiding place and soon the Betty is hidden in the reeds. Then Nick leads a raiding party and soon, the PBY is now 10 Gerry cans of fuel and 4 spark plugs lighter. They were able to determine that there were at least 5 or so people in the PBY.

They head for a smaller entrance in the walls that surround Karnak, after noting that the pirates headed for the larger entrance. Looking around the corner of the entrance, they see that a pirate is guarding the larger entrance.

This is when Snapper Hansen decides to use his ancient African talisman and it’s eldritch powers to hide from view. The Talisman is in the shape of a small African tribal mask that hangs about Hansen’s neck. He incants “Huwezi kuona mimi!” and the masks grows in size, sending out tendrils that wrap around his head, pulling itself tightly against Hansen’s face. The talisman becomes a mask so horrific that no one could look at Hansen.

So disguised, Hansen made his way to the entrance. The pirate is leaning agains the entrance, smoking a cigar. Hansen punches him in the face and then steals his cigar and pretends to be a ghost. Due to the nature of the mask and it’s aura, the pirate is initially fooled by the act, as the smoke from the cigar spirals in the air. But then he realizes that the supposedly Egyptian ghost is speaking with a Southern American accent.

He tries to shoot Hansen, but misses. Hansen punches him again, and then grabs him and holds him aloft over his head. The pirate faints. Meanwhile, the rest of the Team Quest runs up and gains entrance to the temple. Hansen steps into the rows of columns in the entrance and throws the pirate at one of the four other pirates in the room, and then rips off his mask and hides. Soon they corral the pirates and Joe is reunited with his fellow Kohen, Mark.

The pirates recognize Hansen and Doc Quest as the people who helped save the life of Pistol Pete, so a truce is settled. There is some concern, as Mark had promised the pirates some sort of treasure, but Joe offers to pay them off, so that’s settled. Both Joe and Mark want to move the “item” to the Bent Pyramid.

With Doc Quest’s help, they navigate the traps that the MaintainAnts keep operational. Doc Quest modifies his “Magnificent Light Weight Personal Security Device” to include a lightening crystal, (Which Doc Quest just happened to have on his person) and they can literally jump over most of the traps. They approach the inner sanctum of the temple, only to be confronted by several officers of Hinterpol, lead by John Cohen, Joe’s father. They had rappelled into the chamber from up above.

It is finally revealed that the “item” is in fact the Ark of the Covenant. The four Kohenim, Joe, John, Mark, and Peter, during the Siege of Jerusalem in 597 BC, were trying to spirit the Ark out of the Temple of Solomon and Joe had them make a left hand turn and then they found themselves on a beach.

They had appeared on the shores of Sahara environ and using John’s knowledge of Egypt, hid the Ark in the temple complex of Karnak. They were picked up and rescued by some looters and they kept their secret of what they had hidden there, in the base of a statue of Hatshepsut, the female Pharaoh.

They find evidence that they had just missed the people who had taken the Ark. John calls for the ropes to be lowered and everyone climbs to the roof of the temple, looking for the escaping thieves. The three Kohenim think it’s their fourth Kohen, Peter, who had joined Sam “Butcher Boy” Blackwell’s gang recently. They ready themselves, and the Hinterpol airship hovers overhead, waiting…

A new adventure for the crew of the Betty begins!

The story opens with Doc Quest retelling his adventures to a group of individuals, while Jessie, Sacha’s wife, listen intently. When Doc looks at her, his mind goes back to the day before, as the Betty dances in the sky among the thunderheads with Black Del Rio’s pirates. Inside the Betty, Doc is making his way back to the passengers when the Betty does a dive, throwing everyone inside into free fall. Doc holds on to a strap and sees everyone and everything not tied down float into the air. Jessie floats out of her seat, clutching at the back, when the Betty bottoms out of the dive and everyone hits the floor at a couple of Gs.

Quest sees Jessie hit the floor. He lands next to her, and smiles, then with a panicked look, rolls on top of her, saving her from a bunch of crates that tumble down. They lock eyes and then when the crates hit, they lock lips. In the background Sacha screams as a heavy crate lands and breaks his legs.

They separate and they look at each other, then Doc excuses himself and goes to see what happen to Sacha. After they escape the pirates, they land at Noonan field and hand Sacha over to the paramedics. Before he leaves with the medics, Jessie slips him a note for a rendezvous later that night at Clarabelle’s.

Back in the present, they exchange small talk, he finds out that she used to be a teacher. She was on a bus full of highschool kids and it made left hand turn. She escaped the bus with most of the students… and she doesn’t say much more. They part with a promise of future assignations.

The next day, while the rest of the crew are busy at work at unmounting and moving the damaged engine from the Betty, Hansen is puttering about his new apartments, organizing his stuff and trying to figure out where to put an 8’ wide turtle shell. There’s a knock at the door, and a messenger delivers a letter to him. He’s to wait on a reply. The letter is from Joe Cohen, Sacha’s body guard.

Dear Mr. Hansen,

I hope I’m not being forward in assuming that you are now staying at the same residence as the rest of your new associates. I have a proposition for you and your associates. I’d like to invite you and your associates to lunch and to listen to my proposal. If you know of a place, please suggest it.

By grace of God,

Joseph Cohen

Hansen writes a reply, suggesting that they meet at Ivan’s Authentic Ukrainian Restaurant. He gives the message to the young man, and watches as man tools off on an Indian motorcycle. Then Hansen catches a ride to Noonan field and finds the shop that Samson was rented to repair the engine. He presents the offer to the rest of the crew and they are willing to listen to Joe’s pitch.

They go to Ivan’s and the proprietor greets each warmly and with a hug. He takes them to a table and takes their orders of Borscht, Piroskies and Beer. Joe shows up and he’s dressed in traditional Hebrew garb, circa B.C. something.

Ivan knows him and get’s his usual. Joe greets everyone and tells them that he’s left the employ of Sacha that morning and he would like to hire them to help him move an item. This item was something he brought with himself and he doesn’t want any questions asked about it. To sweeten the deal, he pays them $400 New Akron dollars to begin with, and much more after the job.

The item in question is hidden in the City of Thebes on the environ Sahara. The exact spot is in the temple of Karnak. The history of Sahara is that it’s a desert and the only bit of green is by the “Nile” and the city complexes. The buildings are all trapped, and, importantly, looted of any treasure that they had. Interestingly enough, the buildings are still being maintained, the traps are reset after being triggered by the MaintainAnts. They chose this location because it has been gone over with a fine comb and therefore off the radar of any dedicated looter.

Joe knows a way in that bypasses most of the traps. The crew talks about this, though Doc Quest is already on board to visit the site and explore. They decide to accept the offer and all toast the upcoming job. They will leave in four days.

Over the next couple of days, they prepare for the trip: they finish work on the engine. Doc Quest goes shopping and gets khaki outfits monogrammed with the Quest “Q” for the gang. Doc also sees Jessie a couple more times, with one memorable night.

On the appointed day, the crew is arrayed in matching khaki outfits, each with the emblazoned Quest Q on the left breast pocket when Joe tools up on his Harley. He’s just bringing a backpack and bedroll, Dr. Q has an expedition set up.

With clearance, they fly to into the foggy skies. A thick fog with no ceiling has risen, but with good piloting and a trusty inertial compass, they fly to Anson’s Kingdom and are escorted to the Avalon Airport by several Air Knights. They are confined to an area of the tarmac that only has access to the bathroom and an overpriced snack bar. They are charged for everything, from tarmac fees, landing fees, clearance fees, and fuel at 5 times the going price.

They leave Anson’s Kingdom and fly to Sahara. The sky has cleared up and they can see the environ shining in the distance. As they fly over the environ, they spot shining alabaster buildings in the desert by the “Nile.” They land in the river near the temple complex and prepare to enter in and see what’s there…

Boxing, bruising, mayhem, air pirates

Episode 5

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Primates of all persuasions, and all creatures great and small! Welcome to the Fight Of The Century!”

Thus begins the fight between Lance “Snapper” Hansen and Bobo the Orangutang. Over the next five rounds they batter each other into a pulp. In the third round Hansen gets clotheslined by Bobo, but in the fourth, he gets back with a swift kick to the gentlemen’s area of Bobo, while that worthy individual was trying to pull an arm off.

The end was never in doubt, as the Mighty Snapper Hansen K’Oed Bobo on the final round. With his face all swollen and one eyed swelled shut, he accepted the accolades of crowd and the titleship belt. Later that night, Louie fetes Hansen at his bar and it’s the greatest business he’s had for weeks. In the morning, Hansen wakes with a girl on both arms, one human, the other a chimp.

Sacha Rodriquez had bet heavily on Bobo to win, and was in a foul mood, but he didn’t fault Hansen for his bad judgement.

On the flight back they were followed by three air pirate planes bearing the colors of Blackjack Del Rio, infamous pirate from Brasilia. They follow them to the edge of New Texas airspace before peeling off. The Betty is escorted across New Texas and along the way, one of the Air Rangers gets an autograph as they fly.

After they leave New Texas airspace, their shadows reappear, three new planes flying Blackjack Del Rio’s colors. A sudden thunderstorm appears, with thunderheads 10 miles tall, and that’s when the pirates strike. They try to coerce Samson to surrender, then attacked when he turns them down.

The resulting air fight sees Hansen shooting up to two of the planes, the other getting struck by lightning as it climbed. Just as Nick was ready to drill the lone survivor, Blackjack’s airship, the Carnival, appears out of the clouds, with more fighters hanging underneath. Samson turns and flies away, escaping the clutches of Blackjack Del Rio!

Sadly, Sacha had a crate fall on his legs, breaking both of them!

They arrive safely at the New Akron’s Noonan Field and Sacha is carried off to the local hospital for care.

Hansen settles in to the same block of flats that Quest and Samson live in, waiting for the shipping company to bring him his car.

Hijinks ensue in Eta Wongo!

Episode 4
Doc Quest saved the life of an air pirate, who goes by the name of Pistol Pete. To pay off the blood debt he owed to the doctor, he tells them about the crystal.

El Terrible got the crystal from Sir Barker, one of Anson’s knights. Barker is sick and tired on the way Anson runs things and is looking to finance a revolution. Sir Barker was a real knight, at least he says he was, and is working behind the scenes looking to foment insurrection.

Nick, Doc, Hansen, and the Cobra Kid, fly back to Palino Islands and have dinner with their boss, Sacha. Before they go, they buy a gift at the gift store, a brass monkey with large… bits. They put it in box and have it gift wrapped. Then they ask Jeb and Chauncey to “hold” the gift for them. It’s a “present” for someone.

Then they go to Omo’s Fresh Oyster bar for dinner and Hansen has a 2’ wide oyster for dinner, Nick a lobster, Doc a seafood salad (the baby octopuses still alive) and the Kid has some of Omo’s Gumbo. Which the Kid spices up with some Major Tucker’s Mother ****** Sauce, (2 million on the Scoville Scale). Later Doc buys a bottle for “experimentation”. Hansen eschews the complementary crowbar to open his oyster, and then uses his bare hands to pry it open.

Tout board: Hansen 15:1

That night, someone tries to break into Small Island Tours, but Chauncey deals with them.

Next day they go marlin fishing and Sacha catches a nice one. Then they head to the turtle sea to check out the giant turtles that live there. They spot some about 6’ wide up to a couple of monsters 20’ wide.

That’s when Hansen gets the idea of going after one. With a knife between his teeth, he dives into the water and goes after an 8’ turtle. It comes after him, and manages to gash Hansen’s arm. Then Hansen swings around and puts his knife through the turtle’s neck and spine, killing it.

From the plane, they see the water thrash and roil, then a blood slick forms, and then Hansen and the turtle surface, Hansen grinning from ear to ear. They load the turtle onto the plane and fly back to the Paloni Islands. Word gets out about Hansen’s adventure.

Tout board: Hansen 5:1, Bobo 2:1

That night, there is a big party as the turtle is broken up and cooked six ways from Sunday. One enterprising fellow starts making sausages out of the turtle’s bits. Hansen is served the head of the turtle, cooked by one of the chefs from the casino. Booze flows freely and a fun time is had by all.

Next morning, under his new turtle shell canopy, a very hungover Hansen wakes up, amid the debauchery of the night before. He has a fight tonight, and Doc Quest gets him fixed up with a vitamin B shot. Pilots and hanger ons are everywhere. Sacha slept in a tire. Oh his back!

Chauncey had some bad news, someone stole the “present” they had left with Jeb and Chauncey. It was done while they were at the turtle feast.

Bright eyed and fuzzy tailed, they fly to Pago Pago and see that there are hundreds of sea planes beached or dropped anchor in the lagoon. They are give a beach birth, and as they go past Louie’s, Pistol Pete hails them from a bed on a porch, one of the bar “girls” helping to prop him up. He lets them know he’s bet on Hansen to win.

As they approach the arena, they see radio antennas sprouting high into the sky. Hundreds of people are about, vendors everywhere selling all sorts of gewgaws and whatnots. Also there is the fellow who made sausages the night before hawking “Turtle Dogs”. He gives one to Hansen, who then poses with him touting the fellow’s dogs. The vendor sells out completely of his dogs.

They see all sorts of people, including folks with boxes on their shoulders that have a lens and small screen, video cameras. This fight is being broadcast to a hundred stations on almost every environ in the civilized Hinterland.

Hansen is showed his dressing room, it’s well appointed and has all the things a fighter would want. He’s then taken to his seat for the fights. Bobo is taking on four fighters, Ivan the Bear, Magnificent Mike, Brutus, and finally Hansen. Hansen meets them all before the fight starts. Ivan is in his robe waiting to start.

The bouts are across the day, at 10am is Ivan, then at Noon is Mike, at 3pm is Brutus, and finally at 6pm is Hansen.

Mike doesn’t even last a round and is thrown into the second row of seats.

Brutus lasts four rounds and only goes down when Bobo breaks his upper left arm bone. Like the former gladiator he is, Brutus gestures for leniency, Bobo looks to the other fighters and they give thumbs up, so instead of beating him unconscious, Bobo helps him up and makes sure that Brutus’s arm is take care of.

Finally, after the sumo gorillas finish their bouts, Hansen goes back to his dressing room and gets ready for his turn in the ring. He has a silk robe, his name monogrammed on the front, and on the back there is a turtle shell, with a human head and arms sticking out of it, and the name “Snapper Hansen” embroidered over that.

He walks to the ring, with nearly a thousand people in the stands, spotlight on him. The crowd cheers and the chant of “Snapper-snapper” goes up as he walks to his destiny…

Adventure in the Hardwired Hinterland!

Episode 3
Last time we met, The Mighty Hansen was to break the leg of an individual for Sacha Rodriguez. So when the episode opens, he is on his way to the isle of Pago Pago, where the individual lives. They land and Joe, one of Sacha’s bodyguards, accompanies Hansen to meet with Hana Awei. We find out that Joe, or more correctly Joseph of Jerusalem, used to be a Hebrew Priest in the Temple of David, and escaped the destruction of the temple at the hands of the Babylonians, in 586 BC.

After that revelation, they find Hana Awei otherwise engaged with another conquest, but when Hansen intervened, she quickly left. Hana Awei offered other forms of combat, but Hansen turned him down, so they fought bare handed. Sadly fate was against Hansen as he slipped on a misplaced bra, and Hana Awei easily defeated him. Hana Awei knew that Hansen would get into trouble for not breaking his leg, so he offered a solution and they faked him having a broken leg. It fooled Sacha, especially as Joe went along with the scheme.

Sacha was so impressed, he offered to back Hansen to fight the champ on Skull Island. Hansen agreed to do so, especially as it would reestablish his reputation, and then scoped out his potential sparring partner, Bobo the Orangutang. So far, the money is on the monkey, but we’ll see how that goes.

Afterwords, the crew flew to Pirate Island,(Yes, that’s its name), and made contact with the primary broker of procured goods, George, the Orangutang. They found out that El Terrible had already purchased supplies from him and has headed for parts unknown. But they did share that El Terrible sold Sacha Rodriguez a coconut sized lightening crystal. Something that is worth thousands of dollars.

Sadly, the word has gotten out about it, and pirates are now on the move to find the treasure. That also means King Anson will probably hear about this as well. One wonders where the pirate had gotten it from. Well, one of El Terrible’s men was wounded on his way to his plane, and he’s now recuperating at King Louie’s Bar & Grill. What does he know? And will he tell our stalwart heroes? Will the Might Hansen make a monkey of Bobo? Will Dr. Quest ever figure out this crazy universe?

In this episode we introduce a new character, The Mighty Hansen! Played by Wilhelm, along with Dr. Quest, played by Todd, and Nick Samson, played by Dirk.

After Sacha gives Doc and Nick $50 to “go have fun”, they are confronted by the owner of Small Island Tours, Jeb Alverez and his chief mechanic Chauncey. Jeb overheard that Sacha wanted Nick to ferry him around the islands of Eta Wongo to “take care of some business.”

Jeb took umbrage about this and engaged Nick and Doc in spirited discussion, which included applicable use of fists and fighting words.

Hansen and his sidekick, the Cobra Kid, appear out of the blue, interrupting a business deal with the locals. Then they fly down to an island for another shady deal, one that’s going to foreshadow events… but that’s for later.

The First Adventure!

Episode 1
It actually turned out pretty cool. DG created Nick Samson, action aviator, and I went with Dr. Douglas Quest, scientist/inventor. Making characters were pretty painless once I learned to count to six and action began with an A and not a T. :-)

Nick and Doug come from a 1930’s earth where they were investigating strange diappearences in the Bermuda Triangle at the request of the OSI. They unfortunately found it. One strange vortex later… they land in Nick’s special seaplane, the Betty, on a most unusual island. After orientation the Doc is a bit put off that most of his scientific knowledge has been put into a tail spin and that they are new rules in the Hardwired Hinterland than just don’t jive with reality as he knew it. Also, the rules can change from island to island. The first order of business is to get the Betty air-worthy again and Nick trained to fly in the bizarre world. So Douglas take a temp gig with the medical staff at the orientation center. It far from glorious, but it gets the bills paid and allows us to by parts for the Betty.

Nick passes his course and gets a job running freight for the Wing and a Pray guys where he does indeed run into air pirates and makes some new enemies. :-)

We get the Betty up to spec (for this world) and decide to do some courier duty for Wing and a Pray. First job is to fly some fat cat to Eta Wongo for business and leisure. We had to call it at the casino airport due to time. Five hours just zipped on by.