because it's hard not to smile when you're skipping

Another Brick in the Wall (Part 3)

Some people may think that what I do here is over sharing. But that’s what writers do. We over share the things in our head, and sometimes it makes people uncomfortable.

Sometimes when I share things, people write to me and tell me that I’m brave. I don’t think there’s anything brave about it.

Why should it take bravery for me to talk about something that happened to me, or something I think? Why should it take courage to be open and honest?

Why are people considered brave when they simply speak and live their truth? What are we all so afraid of, really? Why do we have to summon up courage to be authentic?

I guess it does take courage to be open and honest when we live in a closed off, dishonest world.

We have each closed ourself off behind a wall of our own building. The foundation was laid by our families, as a means of protection at first. With each passing experience we add another brick and it builds up.

The mortar is made of concern for and fear of other people’s judgment. It is fear of what someone else might think, of the discomfort we will feel when we are judged, of losing their acceptance, friendship, love, respect. It is fear of our own self-judgment; feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment.

It’s not easy to tear down the wall and step out into the world. We have to work through inner conflict. We have to find the line between the way we portray ourselves and the way we really are. We have to stop judging ourselves from the point of view of ‘others’. Stop wondering what will they think? How will they treat me?

We cannot try to live up to other people’s standards. They are coming to us from behind their own wall. If we worry about what they think our entire life can become a lie that we tell ourselves in order to hide from judgment.

The longer we do it, the dimmer our own personal light becomes. We lose a little bit more of our light each time we compromise in order to be accepted, to be respected, to be seen in a certain way, in order to fit into some ridiculous social construct.

Every time we judge ourselves, every time we prejudge the reactions of others around us, we add another brick to the wall.

We can tear down that wall one brick at a time by releasing judgment. Stop judging others. Stop judging yourself based on other people’s standards.

When you release judgment and you release the need to judge others, you destroy the power that other people’s judgments have over you.

Sure, you might make some people uncomfortable, but you can get on with being authentic and shining your light.

Getting there requires that you put yourself in a vulnerable state. It will be difficult at first, but it gets easier.

Each time you make yourself vulnerable you remove another section of the wall. At some point you will work through that feeling, and you will no longer judge yourself as vulnerable. You will begin to view yourself as open, honest, forthcoming, and FREE.

Once you embrace that vulnerability, once you let go of the need for control, the need for acceptance, the need to please anyone other than your own self, nothing anyone says or thinks can hurt you.

Eventually the pure acceptance of that state of vulnerability will wrap itself around you. You won’t need the wall anymore. You’ll be bulletproof.