Like this:

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” Abraham Lincoln

Historically fortune-telling by reading tea leaves left in the bottom of a tea-cup was common place, it probably still is in certain circles. But now, according to new findings of clinical psychologist Dr Ramani Durvasula, as reported by The Independent online, it seems that coffee beans are telling tales on us too, revealing our personality traits one latte at a time.

Your choice of coffee shop can be controversial these days with some people judging you on where you buy your chosen beverage, alongside your newspaper of choice and your political party, due to the exploits of certain companies and their business choices. So with my Starbucks in one hand, the Daily Mail under my arm and a cross on the conservative ballot paper, I am the devil incarnate and now to top it all my beverage is disclosing aspects of my personality.

Skinny Latte with a shot of overwhelming compulsion to be liked and neurosis

But I digress, back to the coffee once I have actually managed to order my skinny latte here in the UAE (so many times has my ‘tall’ coffee has been interrupted as ‘two’) and got through the up-selling process here, no I don’t want it extra hot, or an extra shot, a muffin, cake or sandwich and no bottle of water either thank you, just my original order will do fine, it’s divulging things about me. Apparently my choice of latte reveals that ‘I am easy to please‘ which is quite frankly hilarious, either the survey is way off the mark or I need to rethink my preference, it also discloses that ‘I am intent on pleasing others‘ er ummm still not convinced, maybe I picked up the wrong drink, but then it said ‘it shows more neurotic attributes‘ so maybe it’s the right one after all!

Durvasula carried out an analysis on 1,000 coffee drinkers looking at common personality styles and traits among other characteristics and revealed that black coffee drinkers are typically purist, preferring the simple life but can be abrupt, impatient and averse to change. Espresso drinkers are leaders, stronger, cynical and diligent. Cappuccino drinkers are deemed to be obsessive, controlling, overly sensitive, health-conscious (not sure that drinking milky coffee is considered healthy) with highly demanding personalities. Those who prefer their coffee chilled and sweet are socially bold, trend-setters with reckless tendencies and instant coffee drinkers showed laid-back characters who tend to procrastinate.

Latte with a view (Costa at Al Muneera Beach)

A book about habits, ‘The You Code’ by body language experts Judi James and James Moore details how a person’s favourite caffeine injection gives away information about self-esteem, stress levels and even their sex life. “A cup of coffee in your hand not only has froth and sugar at its bottom, your personality lives their as well” says the new book, which claims that how you like your coffee can actually emit hidden meanings to passers-by.

Coffee drinking and cafe culture is big here in the UAE with a large number of multi-national coffee chains from all over the world sitting alongside local establishments in all the malls, hotels, residential communities, petrol stations and literally every street corner with new ones are popping up all the time. Western expats can enjoy their favourite beverage and the locals have embraced the world of Western coffee along with their traditional arabic coffee and shisha places. The history of coffee refers to the rise of Islam attributing to the popularity of coffee due to it being an acceptable drink instead of prohibited alcohol.

FACT ALERT: Coffee is the second most traded commodity on earth, Oil is the first (both popular in this region, that’s for sure)

Wow, who would have thought that favourite cafe beverages could divulge so much about us all ……….. or do they? Not sure I am convinced, is it interesting stuff or a load of baloney, maybe that’s just my neurotic side coming through………