Reflection’s role when resolution rubber meets reality’s road
Do military
folks even need to participate in the annual ritual of resolutions?
Surely habits
formed just by virtue of military training and structure help members and even
their families to find focus and determine strategy and … [Read More...]

Even on this international day of love, where we are encouraged to focus on another - a love interest, a significant other - a spouse, loving ourselves might just be our greatest gift, to others.
Military service members display admirable care for those they served with and the home team, however … [Read More...]

What DO you say to a Veteran in trouble at times when glad tidings and well wishes for the new year are on everyone's lips? What CAN you say at any time of the year to our military members who served with strength - yet may now be struggling, silently in our midst in the aftermath of their service … [Read More...]

Active Reflection and Relevance ………...First published on January 15, 2017. Nate is currently serving on active duty and is the co-author of Hidden Wounds: A Soldier’s Burden

We are well into 2017 and most are finding out their initial
resolutions are beginning to crack. Is there a better way? We can
play semantics and focus on goals and start to measure every aspect of our
lives but without a deep understanding of why our behaviors are having negative
outcomes the end result will be the same. A common theme with successful
coaches is to focus on personal accountability.

Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world’s most renowned
executive coaches has dedicated decades to facilitating growth in leaders at
the highest levels of society. He is the inspiration for this discussion
of a better way for 2017.

As we navigate through life, we find there is always a
new challenge or task to fill our time. When we become very successful in
the short term we lose sight of the big picture and do not allow ourselves to
appreciate the “wins” of life across time. At the other side of the
spectrum, if we experience a series of short term failures it begins to define
us in a way that can become destructive. We frame our life through many
lenses and unfortunately it is common to allow others to brand or label us in a
certain way, many times using our short term wins and losses to construct a
false narrative. Reflection is a method to take the multiple perspectives
of our lives and construct a holistic picture. Once we have a better
understanding of where we are in time and space only then can we develop the
habits that best fit our vision of our best self.

Life is messy. One only has to look at social
media to realize we are in trouble. Civility is gone and the sheer volume of
the rhetoric is masking incompetence on all levels. We fall prey to Fake
News, pop psychology, and are bombarded with information that cannot be
processed in time to separate agenda from fact. Greek philosopher
Epictetus taught us, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it
that matters.” The right attitude is key in setting the conditions for
successful outcomes. Reflecting on 2016 will quickly give you a sense that
life is fleeting and facing the challenges of today through being present, receptive,
and joyful is a must. Not easy is it?

Imagine we have mastered active reflecting while
accepting the challenges that come our way. Is this enough to fulfill that
nagging desire to make a difference? Stephen Covey, another coaching legend,
offers the habit of “Begin with the end in mind.” His book, “7 Habits of
Highly Effective People” is a must read for anyone seeking change that
sticks. By envisioning what a life well lived looks like to you
coupled with an honest assessment of where you are hopefully will present an
opportunity to experience real change. Continue to seek out and share positive
habits, hold yourself accountable and build a community that enables your
vision.

Even on this international day of love, where we are encouraged to focus on another – a love interest, a significant other – a spouse, loving ourselves might just be our greatest gift, to others.

Military service members display admirable care for those they served with and the home team, however it looks, that support them.

Transitioning to hometown expectations of the big V Day and letting the love seep into your everyday isn’t a complex task according to the expert on happiness featured today. We don’t need to radically transform the way we live and love. What we need to do is to pay attention to the details and the moments that are the building blocks of life and love.

We all have our image of the ideal relationship. For most of us, it’s about constantly supporting each other and being tender, adoring, and happy together. After all, this is the promise inherent in “living happily ever after,” isn’t it?

It turns out though, as anyone who’s been in a relationship for longer than a few months knows, that happily ever after takes work. The truth is: your partner isn’t perfect. But there’s another problem that’s equally true: your partner’s partner isn’t perfect either.

So given the curse—or blessing—of imperfection, how do we make our relationships thrive? Or what do we do when the initial spark that ignited our relationship is no longer there, when the passion that carried us over the horizon goes down like the sun?

Many people believe that the answer lies in generating extraordinary relationship experiences, something as grand and powerful as a wedding or honeymoon. Perhaps the secret to a happy long-term relationship lies in buying our partner a multi-carat diamond ring, or taking a trip together around the world, or raising Pavarotti from the dead to serenade us in our bedroom? While the above are undoubtedly wonderful gestures, a more important ingredient of a happy relationship is the consistent sprinkling of “love moments.”

The famous architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe once said, “God is in the details.” Similarly, I would argue that “love is in the details.” Love lies in the warm embrace and silly face, the kind word and approving smile; we nurture our relationships when we go out for a romantic meal or take time to make love, when we write a lust letter or remind our partner how much he or she means to us.

Love moments are the building blocks of every relationship. These ordinary moments, tended to with love and care, are what make a relationship extraordinary. But how do you begin to incorporate them into your life?

Look for inspiration. Make a list of past experiences you and your partner have shared. Which ones, no matter how small, stand out as being special? Was it the time you went to a concert together? Or when you surprised your partner with a massage and movie night?

Commit to future love moments. Make general commitments—and particular commitments—for future love moments. For instance, as a general commitment, you might set a calendar alert to seek and initiate more love moments in your relationship. Memorialize particular commitments by making a list, such as going to a play with your partner, embracing him or her when you get home in the evening, or finding a nice word to say before you leave for work.

Accentuate the positive. In 1945, Johnny Mercer’s song “Accentuate the Positive” was number one on the Billboard charts—and Johnny’s advice is essential. Make a list of things you can do with (or for) your partner that will increase the positivity-to-negativity ratio in your relationship. This could be sending a brief text message, or going out for a meal together, or just spending some time talking and offering support. Keep adding to the list and keep it with you so that you can consistently boost your ratio.

Don’t eliminate the negative. The second part of Johnny Mercer’s advice is to “eliminate the negative.” Here Mercer is not entirely correct. You’ll want to reduce the negative, but not eliminate it. If there is a recurring conflict in your relationship, think of ways to deal with it. Commit to being present in the conflict without hostility and contempt. Recognize that differences are inevitable and can actually deepen your relationship.

Remind yourself in writing. Take a minute or two to appreciate your partner, yourself, and your relationship. Remind yourself, preferably in writing, what you fell in love with in the first place. Write down the things you love about your partner now. Relationships are a gift, not because they provide us with constant happiness and joy—they don’t—but because they provide us with cherished moments as well as moments from which we can learn and grow.

Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, taught the largest course at Harvard, Positive Psychology, and the third-largest, The Psychology of Leadership, attracting 1,400 students per semester—approximately 20 percent of all Harvard undergraduates. For the last fifteen years, he has taught leadership, happiness, and mindfulness to audiences around the world. He is the co-founder of the Happiness Studies Academy and author of six books, including his newest release, Short Cuts to Happiness, and the international bestsellers Happier and Being Happy, which have been translated into more than twenty-five languages. Learn more at talbenshahar.com.

What DO you say to a Veteran in trouble at times when glad tidings and well wishes for the new year are on everyone’s lips? What CAN you say at any time of the year to our military members who served with strength – yet may now be struggling, silently in our midst in the aftermath of their service an in overwhelm of their life, stateside?

Here are some valuable notes that might save a life in your community. They are in this full article by Duane K. L. France – a clinical mental health counsellor and 22 year veteran with multiple deployments. It was published in Task & Purpose in February 2017. ……………..[Read more…]

Canada’s international role and image as a peacekeeper force were just being formed in the 1960’s by our then Prime Minister, Lester B. Pearson. That’s when I arrived as the youngest in an immigrant family. It would be a long time coming yet, before exceptional moments in my new country’s history, in particular, military history would cross my mind or that of others Canadians.

To my child’s eyes, life immediately around me seemed pretty uniform. A working class area with what they called post war-time housing. These were quickly built single homes occupied by white people.

Statistics Canada listed the majority population in my province at that time, in descending order percentages, as being of British origins, then German, then Ukrainian.

The French and their descendants since their co-founding of the Dominion of Canada formed an appreciable majority in pockets of the country. Black people, however, and their contribution to Canada, among other cultural identities, were scarcely noted. Their stories like many military footnotes in history, were yet to be recognised, never mind celebrated.

Legendary in both military and entertainment spheres Lt. Dan, played by Gary Sinise, is a symbol of transition’s phases in the film: Forrest Gump.

The now 62-year-old actor is celebrated for his role as Dan Taylor embodies resilience and personal evolution in the 1994 Academy Award winning film. In real life, he is appreciated for his tremendous support of military men and women and his activity on behalf of veterans.

In this post’s “box of chocolates,” we lift the lid to reveal 8 life lessons writer Alex Licea has artfully selected from the scenes in Forrest Gump. [Read more…]

Petter Blindheim, an ailing, 94-year-old veteran’s denial of a bed in Camp Hill Veterans’ Memorial Hospital in Halifax, Canada where he wants to spend his last days, is the focus of Rex Murphy‘s recent CBC TV commentary: Point of View.(3 min)

As the last living Norwegian Vet living in Canada and as a citizen at that for 61 years (since 1945) his plight has gained national and international attention. (see background text on all this) [Read more…]

by James Moschgat, USAF (Ret.)

William “Bill” Crawford was an unimpressive figure, one you could easily overlook during a hectic day at the U.S. Air Force Academy. Mr. Crawford, as most of us referred to him back in the late 1970s, was our squadron janitor.

(In this photo, Army Master Sergeant William J. Crawford (Ret.), poses for a snap by a Denver Post photographer shortly before a Fourth of July parade in Denver, Colorado. Photo courtesy of Beverly Crawford-Kite.)

That push to review is strong, especially as everyone around you celebrates endings and beginnings. Our email, the sites we subscribe to, the magazines you pick up and the social media posts to name just a handful of sources – feature lists. A lot of it is designed to sell you on change, to get you to set goals.

It can keep us swinging from one idea branch to the other.

So much to decide, do, deliver on! It kind of needs its own theme song… and system. So, Team MilSuccessNet is offering this gentle 5 point plan based on the editorial team’s recent and collective experience. We want to hear what YOURS is in the comments below.. [Read more…]

One, super successful, already unafraid to shake things up American male, Jesse Itzler, felt he needed a clarion call to change in his life. So he hired a U.S. Navy SEAL to live with him-for a month. Oh, yeah. He got the expected early get your butt out of bed call plus 7 more big life tips share here as part of MilSuccessNet’s WoW – Words on Wednesdays.