July 24, 2009

To the little girl in Arizona...it's not your fault.

I read about your story this morning. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. This I know for sure. It was not your fault. I am a wise woman. I know this to the depth of my soul. Your attack was not your fault.

You were attacked...raped by a pack of boys. According to the news report... in your culture it is always believed that it is the woman/girls's fault if they are assaulted. Your family, it says, is shunning you because of what happened.

I have no idea what causes people to do horrible things to other people. There are as many answers as there are people who do horrible things. But what I do know is that when something unspeakable happens we sometimes look for easy answers to make sense of something that makes no sense.

So what could possibly make sense in this case? Well that somehow you are to blame. You are at fault. You. Not this group of boys. You. It is the easiest answer that requires no looking for other answers.

And not having an easy answer can make people very uncomfortable. If there is no easy answer...then the horrible thing that happened to you could easy happen to them and that they cannot deal with.

But that is the hard truth. Bad things happen. And people are victims of those bad things through no fault of their own. The randomness of that scares people more than unfairly judging someone who has been hurt.

You may be too young to understand any of that. You do not have to worry about anyone else right now. You need to be taken care of. But maybe somehow you can feel that people across the country are holding you in their thoughts right now. We are all so sorry about what has happened to you.