5.26.2004

Choice

Thanks to everyone who responded to the Home Birth/Pro Choice post below. You are kind to share your stories. It is reassuring to hear from so many brainy, passionate women, and always a treat to hear from manly, erudite, tuneful Rook.

I set those queries out because I've been pondering both subjects lately. A lot.

I am interested in gathering more information about home births because I am an ideal candidate. I have had three easy, uncomplicated births. Our doula is totally hooked up with the homebirthing network.

A home birth makes practical sense to me. My labor times have decreased logarithmically with each baby, which in Leelo's case means I barely made it to the hospital. If the progression continues I will have this baby while sitting on the toilet, mistaking labor for gas pains.

Iz's hospital birth was mellow and breezy. However, I did not have a very pleasant time at the hospital with Leelo. The nurses were abrupt and did not demonstrate a lot of competence. Sure, it was 4 A.M., but babies arrive in the wee hours every fucking day of the year--it's not as though my labor was some sort of anomaly, or outside of their normal scope of duties, or there was a glut of screaming wailing laboring women onsite. Feh.

Once Leelo was born, all I wanted to do was go home. I stayed for 24 hours at the nurses' requests, but was jumpy and stir-crazy the whole time. My parents, Seymour, and Iz were having a party at my house, and I wasn't there! Instead I sat in the over-bright hospital room and was bored to tears. Leelo was a good nurser, and cute as a beetle, but--like most newborns--he slept all the time.

Another worry about being in the hospital is having someone slip the new baby a vaccine without asking me...

Seymour says he's up for a home birth, as long as my pilot brother brings some random person we've never met before to experience labor or greet the newborn. He did this to me twice, and also did it to my sister-in-law.

Anyhow.

Pro-choice. That is where I am. It sounds as though that is where most of you are, too. If you personally would never have an abortion, but also would never block someone else from making that decision for themself, then you are pro-choice. Bless you in the names of all the women who have found themselves in unspeakable circumstances, and have been given the opportunity to do something about it.

I have always been pro-choice. Even when my choice was not to have an abortion, and give the baby up for adoption instead. Even though some people thought this meant I was a pro-life poster child, and tried to drag me to rallies at my parents' Catholic church..

Even so, I can sympathize with the pro-life stance somewhat. I saw this little noodle in my belly jump and dance at 10 weeks, via ultrasound. I've never needed to have an abortion. So, from my coddled, privileged, and pampered position, it is easy enough to wonder how anyone could do such a thing. I am not intending to put words in the mouths of pro-lifers; this is how I personally feel.

I also realize that my cozy emotional, family, and financial circumstances are not universal. People have abortions for reasons, in situations, and while going through terrors that I can't even imagine. And, as several of you noted, they will terminate whether it's legal or not. I do not think I will ever change my mind about supporting their legal right to do so.