This was one of my mottos during my Mexican vacation from which I just returned. Before I get all deep and existential on you, let’s chat about the trip.

My mother (who so kindly paid) and I went to Playa del Carmen for a one-week all-inclusive vacation. I have been on plenty of vacations, but this was only my second all-inclusive resort and first time in Mexico as more than just a stop on a cruise. I didn’t know what to expect.

So, here is some of what I learned:

Hot tubs are not always hot: the pool at the resort was beautiful but I found myself wishing that it was a couple of degrees cooler. In the center of this giant free-form pool was what appeared to be a hot tub. I was dumbfounded by the concept of people going in a hot tub when it was 90 and 100% humidity out. Finally, on our second to last day, I checked it out. The hot tub was cooler than the pool. It was glorious.

Peacocks should have a fluffer: The resort had a jungle in the middle of the grounds. There were many animals all round: swans, flamingos, lemurs, giant rodent looking things, peacocks, monkeys, toucans, etc. I was most obsessed with the peacocks. All I wanted all week was for them to open up their damn feathers so I could see them in all their glory. And not once did that happen. Hence, I think peacocks should have a fluffer. (If you are not familiar with this phrase, please see Urban Dictionary’s definition here).

Sand has super glue properties: Seriously, how can it be everywhere? And how was it still on me after I showered? In fact, I have been home for two days and I am fairly certain there is still sand in…places.

Not everyone respects personal space: Forget chivalry being dead, I think courtesy is a distant memory when at one of these resorts. I think other cultures are much less familiar with the concept of personal space than Americans. This can be very frustrating. It can also lead to me wanting to drop-kick some old ladies…

Aside from what I learned, I also thought that perhaps I can impart some wisdom. For instance, rules on who should not wear a bikini.

Do not wear a bikini if:

The bottoms are invisible because your FUPA hangs over: If I can’t see the bottom scrap of material…well yeah, there is just no reason to be wearing a two piece. (If you are not familiar with the word FUPA, please see Urban Dictionary’s definition here).

You can recite the Gettysburg address from memory…because you were there. Listen, unfortunately there are articles of clothing that are considered age-appropriate and age-inappropriate. At 35, I am already discovering that there are some things that I should not be wearing any more. So if I am aware of that at my age, why doesn’t the 83 year old granny with saggy…well, everything, realize that?

You are a man: No, I am not talking about cross-dressers. I am talking about those delightful speedos. I realize that they are the favorite beach wear of many foreign men. But really, as good as Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps look in theirs, I still only want to see them in them when they are swimming competitively. The banana does not need to be on full display. And, much like with the ladies in their bikinis, it is often the ones who should not be wearing the speedos that do.

Regarding that, I don’t know if I am horrified that nobody tells these people that they should not leave their house looking like that, or if I am in awe that they are so obviously comfortable in their own skin so as not to care what anybody thinks. Your thoughts on that?

Other than that, it was a very restful week and I will get more into the details in my part 2 post. For pictures from my trip, check out my Facebook gallery.

I got through 3 1/2 books which was great. I used to be a voracious reader but I find myself not having much time to do that in my everyday life, so it was nice to really get into some books.

It was nice to have a week with just my mom. But at the same time, I did miss my husband. A week is too long for us to be apart.

Speaking of a week apart…that was the longest I have gone without social media. No facebook or twitter…very bizarre. Still exploring how I felt about that. What is the longest you have gone without social media? What is your limit? Do you think it is good to take occasional SM breaks?