Thursday, March 4, 2010

Bumper Stickers Are For Assholes

About a year ago I realized that I really do not like bumper stickers.

Why?

They make no fucking sense.

Answer me this.

Has a bumper sticker ever changed your opinion on anything?

Probably not. In fact, I would venture to say that no one has ever had their life changed by a fucking piece of adhesive vinyl attached to a Hyundai. There are millions literally millions of "Anti-Iraq" bumper stickers attached to vehicles all over the country and it does not do shit. It never will. Because the same space you are using to advertise to the world that you think "Bush Is A Nazi" is also the same space that some fat chick uses to tell the world that "Skinny Girls Are For Wimps".

No matter how "deep" or "thought provoking" the sticker is the fact is you are just putting it on the back of your car and the person that is driving behind you is not having some epiphanous moment. Believe that.

To the guy that has the "How Many Iraq Children Did We Kill Today?" sticker on his whip:

What did you do to change the cruel world we live in? Oh I see. You put a sticker on your car to demonstrate your distaste for American politics. Oh and you like Rage Against The Machine I see. Well now it all makes sense. Because when I first looked at your PT Cruiser I just thought you were just another "sheep" in the system, but now I see you are not gonna let the man stick it to you.

"he is remembered as one of the great Parliamentary orators and debaters, whose intellect and wide interests outside politics - and his sometimes untidy appearance on the campaign trail - belonged to an era before spin and presentation took over politics."