John Travolta Recruits Celebs to Join Hydra at Golden Globes Party

It looks like we were all wrong about John Travolta. He's not a Scientologist or a famously closeted actor, he's actually an agent of Hydra. That's right, folks. Not only did Hydra get their filthy paws on Captain America last May, they've now gotten their hands on everyone's favorite awards show attendee and have sent him to the awards shows to start recruiting.

Now, listen, this is all dirty hearsay and speculation, and there's no proof that John Travolta is an agent of Hydra beyond the fact that he wore this strange octopus lapel pin, but if you zoom in close enough to hear what he's saying, it's clear. He's been saying to some of our great actresses for years now...