Edwin Phillips watches an elderly right wing supporter of 1960s paramilitary group Free Wales Army (FWA), deliver a speech in an Aberystwyth hotel, desperately calling for volunteers to create new Welsh independence party.

Now is the time!

It may have appeared that I am stuck in the 1960s, but this is not the case.

After all we have moved on 20 years, no more than that (quietly) it is way more than that.

Publishing a picture of a man with a gun is quite normal

I know I have posted a picture of our past dear leader Cayo Evans holding a gun, but now it is time for the ballot box, not the armalite!

You needn’t bring guns anyway, (coughs) er, the IRA giving them to us in the FWA, shows that we do not need them.

(Scratches head and says under breath) no that’s not right, never mind.

Holding a gun was cool in the 60s

(Louder) you do not need to address me as “comrade” or even “friend”, either, like I did Cayoboots.

You will not have to wear a uniform like the one that other FWA member, Dennis Coslett, wore on my blog.

(Sternly and loudly) I will not insist you call the disabled Paralympics a “Victorian freak show” as I did on my blog, or that you are awarded the ” Full of Shit award” by The Republic website like I was.

(Looking into far distance) what do my abusurd critics know anyway when they accuse me of ‘racism’?

Like the one who put on my blog: “It’s not the threats, not the intolerance, not the implied racism and not the naked hatred of any dissonant views… it’s the suggestion that I a Welshman… should have anything other than my home country’s interests wholly at heart”.

One person who need not come on our march to a brave new world is Jacques Protic.

I meant every word when I wrote: ”I was hoping to avoid this, but it has to be said – Protic is a Serb” (Mr Protic’s father worked for the Yugoslavian National Bank and he left the country when he was a teenager).

Dennis Coslett – another normal thing to publish

It has nothing to do with me that after I published my pearls of wisdom about Protic, he received the phone call that he should be put down “like a mad dog” and his car tyres were slashed.

That awful website The Eye reported how one of those telephone callers to his home said: “I will do your fucking head in”.

Another person who need not join us is the Editor of that appalling website, Phil Parry.

He gives journalism a bad name.

Is he a ‘lying bastard’?

It was mild when I called him “vermin” and a “lying bastard” – believe me as one myself I know what I am talking about (shakes head and says to self) no that’s not right – never mind.

Or as I put it so eloquently (stares at fingernails)“That lying bastard Phil Parry never misses an opportunity to twist or invent ‘facts’”, er, even though everything has come from my own blog.

The police investigated

He is a member of the Labour party or the police (one of the two) and I want to avoid those.

Ignore the fact that, um, he has (clears throat) published pieces critical of the Welsh Government controlled by the Labour party and the police.

This is, er, clearly a smokescreen (to self again) can smokescreens be clear?

Clarity is so important

Never mind.

(Stridently out loud and looking wildeyed) they’re all against me.

Just look at that other Aber hotel which said they had “… concerns (and) we have cancelled your meeting room with full refund of payment”.

How ridiculous – it is perfectly normal to publish a picture of a man with a gun on your blog and call him your ‘friend’.

Aberystwyth hotels had ‘concerns’

So please come with me on this incredible journey comrades, (quietly once more) there I go again.

Check your knowledge of today’s events as revealed on The Eye, with our brilliant interactive quiz:

Which journalist told us incorrectly “satire is no defence against libel”?

Paul Rowland

Paul Rowland

Roland Rat

Abbie Wightwick

Martin Shipton

Correct!

Wrong!

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The former Vice-Chancellor of which Welsh university said in an email “have you seen how Chinese women age?”?

John Hughes and Ping Xu

Cardiff

Bangor

Swansea

Aberystwyth

Trinity St.David

Correct!

Wrong!

-

Which Welsh radio station has record-breaking low audience figures and far below the level its Editor said it would reach at the 40th anniversary?

Colin Paterson

Heart Radio

Radio Wales

Radio Caroline

Radio 4

Correct!

Wrong!

-

What is the name of the bar in Spain where the marketing is run by a crook exposed by The Eye?

Drinks at Blanco

Blanco

Bonco

El Chapo

The Nick

Correct!

Wrong!

-

What is the name of the new Welsh First Minister who has not been challenged by the mainstream media over the fact he was in charge of health in Wales when huge scandals erupted and that he has a leading supporter who ‘liked’ a tweet about a Jewish ‘conspiracy’?

Mark Drakeford holds Welsh flag

Theo Drake

Charles Duckit

Spencer Duckboard

Mark Drakeford

Correct!

Wrong!

-

What is the name of the street which had meters for every room in our Editor’s first Cardiff flat?

Clive Street

Clive St

St.Mary St

Ferry Rd

St.Fagan's St

Correct!

Wrong!

-

Which was the Welsh hospital where whistleblowers exposed practices where an elderly stroke victim was allegedly slapped in bed by a carer?

Brecon war memorial hospital

Glangwili Hospital

Brecon War Memorial Hospital

Morriston Hospital

Llandovery Hospital

Alltwen Hospital

Correct!

Wrong!

-

What is the name of the controversial author in Wales who gave The Eye details of his hit-and-run car crash?

Julian Ruck

John Muckraker

Julian Duck

Ferdinand Rooster

L.L Bean

Correct!

Wrong!

-

Which Welsh university did The Eye first reveal was shedding more jobs?

Student night in Cardiff

Cardiff Met

Swansea

Cardiff

Aberystwyth

Correct!

Wrong!

-

What is the name of the Welsh conman exposed by The Eye who lied that he was engaged in a two-year legal battle with the website?