This is my first time here. Lately I've been experiencing very strange things. I have this fear of going crazy. I have panic attacks every time this thought comes into my mind. I can't control it. Can anyone give me some advice???

Also, I was depressed for a month and a half, thinking that I was actually crazy, and that I was going to lose my family and my boyfriend because of it. I try really hard to keep this secret from my boyfriend because I'm affraid he might dump me. He doesn't have a clue about what I'm feeling. He thinks I'm the funniest person in the world. If he only knew....

Also, I haven't seen a doctor and I don't take any medication.

At first, when I started feeling depressed, I thoght I was feeling like that for no reason, but I was wrong.

I thought about it, and concluded that the reason I was depressed was because I thought I was going crazy. Does anyone understand me???

Hi there and welcome to healing well. This is a wonderful place for support. I too get that fear of going crazy, but it usually accompanies my panic attacks, or at least a big bought of anxious feelings. I would definitely recommend tlaking to your doctor. There are many treatments out there for anxiety/panic/depression, and you should definitely look at your options. It sounds to me that the fear you have is a part of your panic attacks, and there are many things you can do for them. I wish you the best, and keep us updated on how you are*Steph*

about 2 years ago I had a recurring bout of depression and anxiety. But it was so much worse than the first time I didn't recognize it and literally thought for about 3 days I was going crazy and would need to be hospitalized. I, too, had the fears about my boyfriend walking out and that I'd be alone forever.

Then it got to the point where I was so bad off I couldn't eat, sleep or have any interaction with my job....I literally rocked and paced all over my apartment which was very unsettling to all involved. So my boyfriend finally found me a psychiatrist that had an opening and could see me immediately. I went on lexapro and klonopin that afternoon and began seeing a psychiatrist regularly. I couldn't believe how quickly I started to get my perspective back.

My boyfriend was there for me every step of the way and I will never ever forget how supportive he was and how his love helped. However, had he not come through it wouldn't have mattered because the feeling of getting back my mojo was worth the risk, and I would have seen he wasn't worth it had he left me for judging my illness.

I still take lexapro and klonopin, just less of it. I have had the courage to leave my job which was making me unhappy and now I'm focusing ony life in a way I feel proud of. I did, however, learn the hard way that I'm not through conquering my anxiety as I recently went off the klonopin and 3 weeks later BAM a full blown anxiety attack woke me up and I thought I was going crazy again. I immediately took a full 2 mg of klonopin to settle me down and get the voices out of my head, and today I am feeling normal again.

I will tell you the only way to deal with what you are going through is to immediately see a trained psychiatrist specializing in anxiety disorders and spend the money if you don't have a good health insurance plan, there is no cost too much to get yourself back.

Please make an appointment as fast as you can. Just look one up on the internet if you do not know who is in your network. Don't overcomplicate it, it's important just to get in the office and a Dr. will almost always find a way to see you if they know how severe your anxiety is right now. They really do have to take your appointment out of fear that they will have something go wrong if they don't.

Please go see a dr!

I promise you that you will come out of this on the other end, it's just taking the first step that is the hardest.

You've given great advice Danika :) Hope this helps you Chulila..you will be fine..you are just going through a rough patch and need to seek a little help just now - certainly nothing to be ashamed of..you have made the first step in reaching out to us here - well done!Keep in touch and let us know how you get on :)

Thanks.. Kanika and Steph. I cried reading your responses. I feel so much better.

I'm going to make an appointment to see the doctor!!! I'm so happy for you guys, because you're doing better since the medication.

Kanika... so it didn't bother your boyfriend when he knew about what you were going through?

You know... I'm really afraid of losing my boyfriend, my family, and my life over this. I used to love my life so much, until these bad thoghts came into my mind and I've been suffering from it for 7 months now.

One time my boyfriend said to me that, "Dominicans don't suffer from Anxiety and Depression", and I thought to myself, "If you only knew that this Dominican sitting beside you suffers from it".

There are times that I get so nervous thinking that I'm going crazy, that I can't seem to stop swollowing. I do it even in my sleep. I hate when that happens. Is that anxiety too???

Hi Chulia, I just wanted to give you a warm welcome to Healing Well. I'm so glad that you are reaching out here and have already gotten support from the gang. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."

Just letting you know that I dwell on things like that too. i have been worried about going crazy, and a whole bunch of other worries that pop into my head that freaks me out. i have had these worries for the past 3.5 months now. i can't stand it. some days i feel good, other days, i can't handle it. it has helped me to come on these forums here-ever since i signed up on here, my anxiety has eased up quite a bit. i'm addicted to these!! you're not the only one with this fear. if you browse through all the pages here, there's quite a few topics like this, and people's personal experiences with these 'crazy' worries are posted. it really helps. i'm like you, i haven't seen my doctor about it, or talked to anybody about it. it has crossed my mind, but it also scares me too. i don't want people thinking i am crazy because of it. a lot of the things i worry about are a waste of time and ridiculous, but yet, whatever it is that worries me at that time scares me to death!! there's been a few times i've mentioned to my mom or whoever, about some worries, and they just look at me and say 'are you serious?' because they think it's ridiculous too. but one things for sure, we aren't going to just 'stop' worrying about these ridiculous things. and it doesn't help much when others just don't understand. i try to avoid mentioning things to my boyfriend too, because he already thinks i'm 'weird' for having to sleep with the hall light on and my tv on. (distracts my mind from going a mile a minute!!) so when people act like this, who else are you supposed to turn to?? that's why i come on here! hope you feel better!! i'm hoping i feel better too!!

Chilula- If you looked back in the posts here on healingwell you would see I posted the same topic as you "fear of going crazy" a few times. I went through that awful stage. It was horrible. I felt like checking into a mental hospital. I had horrible thoughts too. I felt for sure I was going to lose everything including my fiance. When I first talked to my therapist I thought she was going to have me taken away in a straight jacket. I learned I was actually suffering from anxiety which is a common problem. By the way it is about 7 months later my fiance is still with me- we are getting married next year. I didn't tell him everything that was going through my head at the time, but he had an idea. Therapy and medication really helps. I am a lot better now, but I still have some lingering anxiety symptoms. I am just trying really hard to get over this last stage of anxiety. You will get through this, and you are not going crazy you just have to take care of anxiety like any other illness.

Welcome to healing well. Please try and take your mind off of things. One way that helps me is to water color, use colored chalk or color. I am by no means an artist. It usually looks like a jumble of colors, but it settles me a bit. I also like those fill-it-in puzzles. They are kinda mindless. I cross stitch too. Find something that will keep your mind off your fears. I promise it helps. I swear by it. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me sane! Find anything. Whatever you enjoy.Good luck, you're not crazy. I've been there and I'm sure others can say the same thing. Hang in there. It has to get better. Don't let it consume you.Take Care,

Chelle

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Thanks for the replies everyone!!! I'm feeling so much better ever since I visited this site.

I'm still afraid of going crazy. I'm telling you... sometimes I dwell on things that don't even make any sence. I tell my family about it, and they look at me and just laugh. They don't believe me, just because I used to be the funniest, clowny person in my family. It hurts me because I not the same person anymore.

I believe that I play Psychological Games with myself, for some reason. I can't control them

Doesn't that sound insane???

Before having these experiences and crazy thoughts, I used to be the one who people would come to, for advices (Boyfriend Advices). They thought that I was great when playing phsycological games with men, so that I could have them wrapped around my finger. I was so good, that I would know what men were thinking just by perceiving their body language. I was good, but now...

I'm the one who needs advices on how to keep my thoughts under control.

Aquarias... I also thoght that if I was evaluated by a doctor, that I was going to be taken away to a mental institution in one of those white jackets, and be dressed all in white.Isn't that funny? I thought I was the only person in the world who felt like that.

Worrier247... something tells me that you and I dwell on the same things. Sometimes I ask myself questions and try to find the reason why, I dwell on crazy things. I think... that it's because I'm affraid that something is gonna go wrong in my life, after everything is going right - except for this mental issue I have now.I have a steady job and I'm affraid of losing it.I finally have the man of my dreams.... and I'm affraid of losing him too.I have no finacial problems for the first time... and I'm terrified that I'll lose my job because of these anxiety problems.I think we're suffering from the "What If's". Which means that we're affraid of something going wrong. :(What do you ladies think about that???