Colton Burpo, the little boy who had an NDE on an operating table a few years back and claimed to have been to Heaven, has had his experiences “there” recounted in several Heaven is for Real books that have sold like hotcakes to people desperate to believe they will live forever in the Kingdom of Heaven, eternally youthful, kickin’ it with their homeboy Jesus C. and all the dead people they ever knew.

Watch this clip of Colton promoting his parents’ books (his dad is a minister and radio broadcaster, natch) and a major Hollywood film about to come out based on this fiction. From where I’m sitting it seems rather obvious that this kid is lying through his teeth and Sean Hannity is just too stupid not to uncritically believe every word of it.

This is truly remarkable, Marjoe Gortner-level hoodoo nonsense. Even by the admittedly sad standards of Fox News, this is riveting in its abject stupidity…

Colton Burpo: Heaven is… such an amazing place and… and you just want to be there for a long time. I mean, I didn’t wanna come back.

Sean Hannity: What’s the difference… in other words, what did you see? What did you feel? Who did you meet?

Colton Burpo: Well, I saw a lot of stuff… In Heaven there are a lot of colors, but there’s even more than we have down here on Earth. Also I got to meet my great grandpa and my sister who was miscarriaged and… it just feels like home.

Hannity: And she came up to you? Are you there physically or spiritually?

Colton Burpo: You are there physically. You do have your own body.

Hannity: You were there in your body?

Colton Burpo: Well, not my earthly body, they were working on my earthly body.

Hannity: It’s the same? You look the same, relatively speaking?

Colton Burpo: Relatively speaking. If you die an old man or an old woman, you’ll be in your prime, like your late 20s, early 30s.

Hannity: And you say that you met Jesus Christ and God. (Colton nods) Can you describe God and Jesus Christ?

Colton Burpo: Well, Jesus was more like the humanoid version. He’s the one you can relate to because he… loves you so much and he’s actually your size, so you can like walk with him and talk with him.

Hannity: And you talked with him?

Colton Burpo: Yes.

Hannity: And he talked to you?

Colton Burpo: Yes.

Hannity: What did he say?

Colton Burpo: Well, I can’t remember what all it was that we talked about because some of it he even taught me! God has not allowed me to remember what Jesus has taught me.

Hannity: You saw God?

It just gets worse—and even more painfully funny—from there…

You can easily see why Hannity’s audience would eat this shit up, because it sounds exactly like something they already believe. Of course every mean old Archie Bunker watching Fox News will be young again in Heaven. Forever and ever! Throw away that Viagra! No need for it in Heaven, you’ll be 30 again soon, dude…

This is why there needs to a separation between church and state: America is a country full to the bursting point with idiots.

Although you’d think that Sean Hannity gets emails, tweets and even people getting right up into his smug fratboy face telling him to “fuck off, asshole” every single day of his goddamned life, an “outrageous” insulting tweet from “liberal” rocker Ryan Adams—who the apparently distraught Hannity pretends like he’s never heard of—has caused the Fox News troll king to get the major sadz.

What’s a wounded, well-paid, well-fed middle-aged millionaire supposed to do when a rockstar tells him he sucks in less than 140 characters? How’s about asking Miss Oklahoma to come onto his show to defend his honor? What else would you expect from a weeny like Sean Hannity?

Sean Hannity tonight responded to singer Ryan Adams over Adams’ Twitter snipes at Hannity and his refusal to come on Hannity’s show and explain himself. Hannity noted that Adams’ initial tweet was taken down, asking “Why the urge to quickly recall the tweet, sir?” He called Adams a “gutless little coward” and challenged him again to make the same charges face-to-face.

Tamara Holder pushed back a little, telling Hannity he was “changing the subject” from his initial point on Twitter about role models and entertainers “who have a right to speak their minds.” Miss Oklahoma Anna-Marie Costello said Twitter allows anyone to say anything without any accountability, claiming Adams “has no sense of integrity.” Holder shot back, “Why? Because he called Sean Hannity out on Twitter?”

Exactly what I was thinking when I watched the segment. That and the fact that Miss Oklahoma sounds like a drunk who memorized her lines…

What’s the big deal?

Ryan Adams did not delete the tweet in question—Hannity’s either lying or he’s mistaken, but I’d wager he’s lying—because it’s still there, right in his Twitter feed. How is Adams “gutless” then, according to he who will not submit to water-boarding for charity‘s criteria?

To tell you the truth, I think Ryan Adams SHOULD go on Hannity’s show and say it to his fucking face. He’d destroy the little bitch and he’d be doing it for you and me!

What’s Hannity going to do, take a swing at him? He certainly can’t outsmart Adams, as quite obviously Sean Hannity’s just not that bright. (Hannity tweeted at Adams: “Confident on Twitter, but too scared to come on and explain yourself?” to which Adams snapped back “I don’t negotiate with terrorists.” That had to piss Hannity off, bigtime!)

Everyone should send encouraging tweets to Ryan Adams about this. It would be mega-genius heavy-meta television. Performance art!

America NEEDS this to happen. Think of the poor Internets starving for viral videos…

But Ryan Adams needs to insist on one condition to Sean Hannity before he agrees: It has to be LIVE.

Not, of course, that I’m down with where she’s coming from, but I found it amusing, if not nearly surreal, to watch Ann Coulter give a reality check—a cold, hard, blunt, old fashioned reality check—to angry Fox News blowhard Sean Hannity:

Loyal, goon-like GOP mouthpiece Sean Hannity posted on his blog that he will be making a cameo appearance in the upcoming Atlas Shrugged Part Two, portraying someone who “may be a character close to home.”

An overconfident, self-important frat-boy dim-wit? I can’t imagine he’s got all that much of a range… although he’d be great in a Planet of the Apes movie.

Salon’s Jillian Rayfield mentions that the critically savaged first installment of the Atlas Shrugged screen adaptation made just $4.6 million at the domestic box office on a production budget of some $20 million:

“That’s the free market at work, folks. Maybe next time the producers should ask for an NEA grant.”

That would make them “moochers,” Jillian, and not merely losers. The first Atlas Shrugged film has a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 11%. Atlas Shrugged Part Two is released on October 12th.

The Shiloh Baptist Church, the historic African-American house of worship attended by the Obama family on Easter Sunday (and that has been visited in the past by Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush) has received more than 100 threatening phone calls and messages since Sean Hannity’s Monday night broadcast on Fox News:

The Rev. Wallace Charles Smith said the church has received more than 100 threats since Fox News channel’s Sean Hannity aired a tape Monday of a speech Smith gave in January 2010 at Eastern University in Saint Davids, Pa.

“We received a fax that had the image of a monkey with a target across his face,” Smith said. “My secretary has received telephone calls that have been so vulgar until she has had to hang up.” …

On Sunday, Obama and the first family visited the church, founded in the 1860s by former slaves. On Monday, Hannity aired a clip of a speech Smith gave when he served as president of Palmer Theological Seminary in Philadelphia.

“It may not be Jim Crow anymore,” Smith says in the videotape. “Now, Jim Crow wears blue pinstripes, goes to law school and carries fancy briefs in cases. And now, Jim Crow has become James Crow, esquire. And he doesn’t have to wear white robes anymore because now he can wear the protective cover of talk radio or can get a regular news program on Fox.”

Sean Hannity’s Neanderthal audience sorta made the good Rev. Smith’s point for him, don’t you think?

Then, being the crass, small-minded scumbag asshole that he is, Hannity e-mailed the Washington Post on Wednesday, writing that he’d requested comment from Rev. Smith and had offered him “an open invitation to explain his comments on our show and he refused. We played his own words in full context but now it’s time for him to explain.”

So he can get a thousand threats and pictures of monkeys in cross-hairs sent to his office next time? I’m sure Rev. Smith will get right on that, you racist frat-boy bully…

Personally, I think it’s time for the SEAN HANNITY to “explain” his ratings-driven race-baiting but I won’t hold my breath for that. This motherfucker claims to be a patriot and love his country. Sean, where is the love?

Meet Sean Hannity‘s new BFF, retired Lieutenant Colonel Allen West. He’s running for Congress in Florida next year, but, thanks to this speech, there’s already some growing Fox-centrichype buzz about West running for President in 2012. I find it amazing—and galling—that, along with Sarah Palin, West is demanding “We Take Back America!” Back from what, exactly? The still-developing 300+ days of Obama, or the previous 8 bloody, costly years of Bush rule?!

The J-Walk Blog alerts us to the verifiable existence of the Sean Hannity forum, So We Go To Heaven. In it, the 2012 Election Coundown-er wonders, “Now what. What do we do when we get there? Do we live in a reality of our own or do we associate with others like we do here? I have not heard much about what people think Heaven is like.” Well, Hannity asks and the people answer! Here’s a sampling of So We Go To Heaven speculation:

* Heaven is the full embrace of our loving God without the sinful desires our flesh now contains.
* I think a lot of our time will be spent worshiping God.
* We don’t do anything in heaven…we will live with Christ in our glorified bodies in New Jerusalem…before that…between death and resurrection we’re just chillaxin’.
* There are those that do go to heaven according to the bible and they serve as kings and priests with Jesus.
* We will be in God’s Glory and having a Godly time, Amen.
* Kicking back, relaxing, enjoying existence, and being served by those that are ruling with Christ and worked so hard here on Earth to earn rewards and jewels in Heaven.
* It eventually would just be the same as hell in my opinion, spending an eternity of nothing. Of course, I guess in heaven, you could just press a button that would make you happy or something.

It’s always instructive to compare how a particular news story is reported by different media outlets. Case in point, how CNN covered Barney Frank’s town hall meeting with some of his less intelligent constituents in Dartmouth, Massachusetts vs. the way Fox News handled the same story. Any commentary would be entirely superfluous, but it does go to show why flipping the channels can provide interesting insight into how opinion is manufactured. (And bravo to Frank for calling these folks out on their total know-nothing idiocy).