Finding Joy at Home {When You’re Not Feeling It}

Do you ever just feel like you are in a bit of a slump at home? Perhaps you don’t have a project going on right now that is creatively inspiring you, or maybe you are too distracted, busy or even in a life transition so you aren’t investing big doses of creativity into your home?

It is easy to feel inspired when you are moving to a great new house, when you have a home improvement project in the works or if you just finished a remodel and your home feels fresh and ready for your special finishing touches. If you have a decent budget for improvements and you can afford to plan new things for your home that can actually happen (heheheh), that is always inspiring too!

But in the in between times, when nothing big or exciting is happening in our home or things are at a standstill, when creativity isn’t flowing for whatever reason, that’s when the true test comes.

Can we find joy in the little every day ordinary experiences right where we are? Or are we only satisfied when we get to do the big improvements, experience the fun of getting settled in a new house, or are basking so much in the highlight reel moments that we miss the little everyday elements of joy?

It’s true. I LOVE the season of moving into a new house.
Confession. Home improvements will perk me up.
Guilty. Money in the bank to buy something new puts a spring in my step.

But when NOTHING is going on to inspire me at home? That’s when I have to take a manageable step to cultivate joy in the ordinary every day things. I have to start somewhere in order to find creative inspiration with what I already have, right there in front of me.

Do I always feel like taking that first step without something big and exciting going on to motivate me to action?

Nope. I love exciting things. I’m energized by something new and creatively inspiring!

But the everyday, hum drum, I can’t do what I want right now sameness can make life feel a little dull at home.

Sometimes my perfectionist side prevents me from doing ANYTHING until I have all the ducks in a row (and when does that really happen, anyway? Ducks are always running every which way at our house, quacking so loud it’s hard to rally them and get their beaks all pointed in the right direction!).

So, when I get in that slump and days or months go by where I am uninspired and spiraling into an abyss of not loving my house like I should, I tell myself it’s time to get going. I say to myself, “SELF, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. Girl, DO IT!” Yeah, I talk to myself. Sadly, I also talk BACK to myself. That’s when things get a little weird.

When my oldest (Kylee) was little and I would ask her to put her toys away she would say, “I can’t, Mama. It’s too heaby.”

I tell myself things like that ALL THE TIME when I’m in a slump. I can’t do that right now because … {insert every lame excuse in the book.} What can I say? The apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. Silly excuses for procrastination and embracing the slump come out of my mouth without me thinking about it.

When I’m in a slump, my legs feel like rubber and my arms are weak and my brain is in a fog. I put off what I could do today because I am convinced tomorrow I’ll be more inspired. I dream that something exciting will happen to perk up my creativity and then I’ll feel motivated.

Well, news flash. Pinterest-worthy times and exciting developments don’t always show up when you need them. Maybe some people live with exciting moments all the time (nice) but at this house, those times are the exceptions. We live in the ordinary most of the time!

So when I realize I’m wallowing in the in-between, waiting for something big to happen, it’s time to shake things up myself and stop waiting for the highlight reel to play.

Every day the ordinary can be more beautiful and inspiring if you want it to be. Yes, it’s a choice. You just have to start looking for ways to make it happen with what you have.

I know this because I’ve watched myself get out of a slump and get inspired to show more love to my home a zillion times in my life the exact same way.

I take a step.

I follow my routines.

I start puttering around the house.

I show my house some love.

Want a little inspiration to get started in finding joy in the little things? I share 31 days of Love Your Home Challenges in the book Love the Home You Have! I think there is more inspiration and creativity when you find your people and you all are MY PEOPLE! Have you looked at Home Love Stories, yet? Y’all. 600 friends hanging out in the neighborhood (WHA?), sharing stories and offering encouragement to see beauty in the everyday. Join us?

(Thank you all for your wonderful comments about the book release! My heart is overflowing from your kindness. Oh, and I LOVE seeing the updates from those of you doing the 31 day challenges in your home. Come share on Instagram or Home Love Stories and use the hashtag #loveyourhomechallenge and #lovethehomeyouhave. It’s really fun to see what you all are up to!)

Comments

Love this! So much truth here. For me, as we try to save money for our upcoming wedding, we find little funds to play with in our ongoing home remodel. Often, I have to put on my big-girl pants and just get to some deep cleaning and organizing. Then, like magic, the love starts to come back. Thanks for sharing this…nice to know I am not alone ;-)

I’ve been slowly emptying drawers in the kitchen and relining them and cutting the contents down (an ongoing downsizing project). The new liner goes in and half the stuff goes into the basement (and if I don’t come bring it back in a few months, out it goes). Just pulling open one of those lovely roomy edited drawers puts a spring in my step.
PS All my cabinets are drawers. It makes them so much easier to use

This is exactly what I’ve been needing to hear right now. Sometimes your house doesn’t feel like a HOME, but a big project, so it’s always good to step back and appreciate it as the place you are. Usually when I’m in a slump but don’t have the cash or time to revamp things, I switch out the scented candles or get a new can of air freshener. Something about adding a new, happy smell really helps liven up the place. This is a really insightful post here, thanks for sharing!

Whoopee! My book just arrived with perfect timing!! Today is a big slump day and I was trying to snap myself out of it! Should I go look for new curtain for bathroom shower or go work in the back yard? Nope, don’t want to get out, it is cold and dreary, wah wah wah….. just let me sit here in my slump and have a pity party. Then, the book came! Melissa, your post today hit the nail on the head for me. Now, I am going to get into the book and have a great day with much laughing at myself, I am sure. Blessings to all.

This post really spoke to me because I have been in a slump creatively. I’ve lived in my house for 16 years and many neighbors are moving away. I feel like everyone is moving on to bigger and better. I’m happy for others, but sad that things are changing. I have some exciting projects going on in my home, but I’m in a waiting period right now for things to begin. Thanks for your words of advice and I can’t wait to read your book and share it. FYI: I’ve tried to join home love stories and when I type in my name or blog name I get an invalid characters message.

Perfect timing for this post, Melissa. Big time slump has got me – been patient for two years now and accepting that finances are what they are and I do what I can until. But the 30-year-old carpet which is in good shape and very forgiving of kitty hairball horks is unbelievably filthy and my vacuum cleaner thinks it’s working on tile. Today, unfortunately, it wasn’t a hairball and it happened while my back was turned and don’t know which kitty did it and why – big ugh! Think I might be able to get the financing to get this done in the reasonable future, but suddenly considering the logistics of replacing all the flooring in my 1350 sf house which is also occupied by the 3 furballs is overwhelming. Need to do some meditation and some positive programming.

Meanwhile, I’ve read a few home love stories and they are a treasure. I love the idea of us all being in the neighborhood. Instead of just sitting down with you for a cup of coffee in the morning which is so special, I get to have coffee with new friends too.

I can definitely relate. My energy seems to come in spurts, often with an associated life event. This year, my youngest will be graduated from high school… we’ll be having a party, and that is motivating me to take a fresh look at my home and make some updates. It has been interesting to me to see how “home fashion” changes, rather quickly. Much of what I put in my home 10 years ago now feels dated. Alas, I can’t rebuild it all, so it comes down to tweaking:)

What a happy boost! I’m amidst painting walls right now and i really just don’t wanna… I want to buy pretty things and make pretty things and pay someone else to paint walls. But, that budget. Gotta paint walls in the meantime!