“In fact, there’s probably much less chance of mistakes happening if you use a computer to bet. Then you don’t even have to give out to me when you get mad because you’re losing money.”

“It doesn’t really matter what odds you write down, we just have to put down the odds the machine tells us to use.”

“You look quite silly running to the counter to put a euro on just as the race goes off. Or a tenner. Any amount, really. Again, you could do this from your own home. You wouldn’t even have to get dressed. You could just lie in bed and bet.”

“When you complain about the glass in the door or in one part of the window not being covered because it means people can see that you’re gambling… You know you can do this in private, online?”

“The dogs and horses running on the tv screens can’t actually hear you shouting at them.”

“I genuinely have no idea what you’ve written on that bet slip because your writing is atrocious so I’m just going to manually make it a losing slip in the system. Cool.”

“How hard is it to write the total stake amount in the clearly labeled ‘stake’ part of the betting slip? It’s like, the only labeled part of the plain betting slips.”

“You never know, sure you might develop a terrible gambling problem and lose all your money. Or that horse might come in at 33/1. You never know.”

“You’re being very rude, are you mad because you’re losing loads of money?”

“Would you like to just give me that twenty euro you’re about to put on a losing horse? You’d at least feel good about it after, as would I, so everyone wins really.”