Monday, December 28, 2015

Man, is that everything I thought of this year? Holy shit. Let's get this thing started...

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday... this is the last entry of 2015, can you believe it? Let's take a moment to remember all the things in 2015 that we looked at on our phones. Okay, here's a story about Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage returned a rare dinosaur skull to Mongolia after learning it was illegally smuggled out of the country. Cage purchased the skull at a Beverly Hills auction in 2007, outbidding Leonardo DiCaprio with a winning price of $276,000. Apparently you're not an official mogul in Hollywood until you have that skull bling. It makes sense as a benchmark for success, since so many people are obsessed with dinosaurs when they're kids.
The skull was from a Tyrannosaurus bataar skeleton, fossils of which have only ever been discovered in Mongolia. The paleontologist responsible for smuggling the skeleton from Mongolia was arrested in 2012, after which he helped authorities track down several fossils he had sold illegally. The auction gallery in Beverly Hills purchased the skull from the black market paleontologist, though the details of how it was smuggled from Mongolia to California are still unclear. It may have been flown out on a giant plane full of convicts, then driven through Los Angeles in a stolen sports car. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is still the hands-down front-runner for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States of America, but she's also the two-time champion of Internet pandering for the week of December 20-26, 2015, thanks to missteps that resulted in the hashtags #NotMyAbuela and more recently, #NewHillaryLogo. It all began with when the official @HillaryClinton account tweeted out this innocuous message of warm wishes for families celebrating Kwanzaa...

You can't see it now, because her profile photo has reverted back to a stock image of the candidate, but that message was accompanied by an entirely new profile image...

Whether this was well-intentioned or not (some commenters pointed out that her Twitter image changed in similar fashion for Christmas, Ramadan and Hanukkah), it fed into a perception of the candidate (and Democratic politicians in general) as being ham-handed in her efforts to relate to minority groups. Can anything rescue Hillary from this? Of course. Donald Trump. A new 50-minute investigatory report on sports doping from Al Jazeera America, "The Dark Side," released on Dec. 26, is tearing its way through the Internet. The report shines a light on the world of performance-enhancing drugs in a way not seen since Alex Rodriguez and 13 other MLB stars were suspended in 2013 for getting hormones from the Biogenesis clinic in Miami. This new investigation spent months following British track athlete Liam Collins as he travels from the Caribbean to Vancouver to Indiana, telling doctors he wants one last chance at the Olympics in 2016... all while secretly recording his interactions. The journey includes an arrogant Vancouver pharmacist, Chad Robertson, who claims he could get "fucking, a Russian tank through the border if I wanted" and that he could take "a guy with average genetics and make him world champion." As amusing as Robertson is, the star of the report is a less-bombastic but more bean-spilling pharmacist in Austin, Texas named Charlie Sly. Sly, who worked with the Indianapolis-based anti-aging Guyer Institute, is the source of the most explosive allegations uncovered. In particular, he claims that after his neck surgery that took him out of the 2011 season, Peyton Manning extensively used human growth hormones ordered under the name of his wife, Ashley, to speed up his recovery. Sly's name-dropping tic also implicates Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies, Green Bay Packers players Mike Neal, Julius Peppers and especially Clay Matthews, Pittsburgh Steelers lineman James Harrison, and Ryan Zimmerman of the Washington Nationals. The response from Manning has been swift... although no one has denied that Ashley Manning did receive growth hormone shipments from the Guyer Institute. That was a private medical matter, spokespersons for the Mannings, the Colts and the Broncos have insisted. Whether professional sports leagues should allow athletes to use HGH to recover from injuries... something the drug has shown great promise for... is a topic worth discussing, but if true, Manning's use in 2011 would have certainly been against the rules. Furthermore, Al Jazeera did verify that Sly worked at the Guyer Institute during the same period. Also, since the NFL banned human growth hormone in 1991 but only started testing for it in 2014, it's hard to see how anyone could have detected Manning's use on this timeline. Charlie Sly has also issued his own rebuttal, although it's received less than stellar reviews. Happy 2016, everyone. Sorry it's not going to be any more uplifting than 2015. Hey, here's a story that happened that I witnessed in real life... When you want to tell a man that he's going to be a dad, maybe you shouldn't pick Darth Vader to help deliver the message. That is, after all, the man who cut off his own son's hand; he's not exactly making the cover of "Outer Rim Parenting" magazine. Still, Star Wars and Disney super-fan Bryan Starr seemed overwhelmed with joy when his wife Taylor told him the news, despite the fact that a windpipe-crushing villain loomed over them, arms crossed in disapproval or maybe boredom. Hopefully, their future child will live a life untouched by the dark side, and will only view Star Wars in the Machete Order.

If you don't know what the Machete Order is check out nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/. But finish this entry first. Paul Terry, 26, was picked up by police this weekend in Tulsa, Oklahoma and charged with armed robbery after the victim of the home invasion described Terry's hilariously identifiable tattoos... devil horns, a Nazi SS symbol, a lipstick kiss and "Fuck Cops" scrawled where his eyebrows should be. Almost as impressive as his absolutely terrible face in this mugshot is his serene expression, which seems to say "Yes, I've finally found where I belong... in jail, forever." Terry was arrested along with his accomplice, Sonja Moro. She is probably also going to prison, but at least she's not all over the Internet after deciding to turn her face into a billboard saying "Arrest Me." Bail for Moro has been set at $50,000, but $100,000 for Terry, who (big surprise) has a prior felony conviction. Wanna see his stupid face?

Nice face, asshole. By now I am sure you saw the Star Wars film and know Luke is only in it for a few seconds at the end... but in reality as I have been telling you he's in it in spirit more than you think.

It's the same thing! Haha. I love BB-8, but did you know he was in another movie before Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Check out this proof...

That's a Mindphuck. Haha. Did you know Kylo Ren was also in another movie?

Hey, this just in... Hillary has a new campaign logo.

Yolo. Ha! Bernie Sanders has a new campaign poster while we are on this subject...

Love it! I don't know what he is trying to say though. A few of you emailed me after yesterday asking why I didn't mention Steve Harvey accidentally announcing Miss Colombia as the winner instead of Miss Philippines. It was an extremely awkward moment, and of course resulted in an endless stream of jokes and responses on social media, and I have only so much time and stories to tell. But I thought it was weird that before Miss Columbia was crowned somebody else was.

Weird, right? In 2015 there was so many crazy stories. I was gonan go over them but instead thought it'll be easier to just show you this...

So, in 2015 there was a bunch of optical illusions that caused the Internet to lose its mind. So, over the next few weeks I will who some to you.

This tall, firm drink of water looks like a penis in a glass, but it's an illusion caused by the woman's arm and hair. Unless her upper arm is actually a penis. Ha. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is another...

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. And as I mentioned yesterday all throughout January I want to show Mindphuck pics that you, my dear readers, sent in. So, email them to thepeverettphile@gmail.com with the subject line Mindphuck 2016 and I will pick out the best ones. Thursday it's New Years Eve and I wish I can be in Times Square to celebrate. It's on my bucket list. Well, a friend of the Phile can easily go there so I wonder if he will. He's a patriot, singer and renaissance man. You know what time it is. Laird, are you going to Times Square for New Years?

Hmmmmmm... let's see... drive in early... find parking... get to Times Square before noon... get corralled in like cattle behind barricades for 12 hours without a chance to leave and come back... stand in piss for hours with drunken tourists elbowing us to get a selfie. All so we can watch the ball drop and fight traffic afterwards? I think I'll pass.

Look what he'll be missing! Happy New Year, Laird. I'll see you back here for the Phile's 10th anniversary entry on Janiary 8th. Okay, it's Monday, the Giants lost yesterday and are out of the playoffs so I don't wanna really talk football but I will. Jeff?

Me: Jeff, welcome, so how was your Christmas?

Jeff: My Christmas was all right. It's hard to be in the Christmas spirit for me, but I'm trying.

Me: I totally know how you feel. Did you get any cool presents at least?

Jeff: My big present which I got several months ago was a Playstation 3 that my brother was selling. The only gaming system I had was a Wii so it was nice to jump into a better system.

Me: Cool. Jeff, this is the last entry for 2015. Any highlights this year? Whatcha looking forward to in 2016?

Jeff: Highlights of 2015 for me? LOL. Few and far between. My trip to Phoenix in June stands out in my head. So does my 20th high school reunion last month. And getting a chance to reconnect with two old friends. And of course my three book releases! If anything I'm looking forward to hopefully finding a full time job and re-starting my life which has slightly been on hold lately.

Me: Alright, so, what's the latest in NFL news?

Jeff: The biggest news is the Panthers finally lost. They were 14-0 but the Falcons beat them yesterday. A report came out that while Peyton Manning was injured he received HGH. Manning has come out and said this is not true at all. Other news is about which teams were officially eliminated from the playoffs.

Me: I was gonna ask you if you knew about the Peyton story as I mentioned it in my monologue. So, I was ahead by one point... How did we do?

Jeff: I went back and re-read my last email to you. We are tied as far as points go, but you have the tie breaker for having more wins going into this week. Both our teams lost this week so we didn't earn double points for that. You went 0-2 and I went 1-1 with the Colts win. So with that I take the lead. However, I'm going to attempt to go back and recheck the scores because my stats don't seem to be complete. I will keep you posted.

Me: Okay, you're fired! Just kidding. The Giants are outta the playoffs, so I'm screwed, right?

Jeff: I'm sorry to tell you with the Redskins win and the Giants loss, yes your team is officially out of the playoffs. And the Steelers are barely hanging on.

Me: That fucking sucks. Let's pick for next week... I say Colts by 5 and Packers by 6. What do you say?

Jeff: Houston by 4, Jets by 2.

Me: Okay, so the next entry will be on January 8th which is the 10th anniversary entry. We'll pick football picks then and if you want to say something nice about the Phile (and me) that'll be cool.

Jeff: That sounds like a plan to me. See you in the new year!

Me: Alright, see you here back for the anniversary entry!

Champagne
Champagne is a white sparkling wine named after the specific region of the liquor store to which people gravitate on December 31st.

Okay, today's pheatured guests are the duo that make up the cool rock band Sit Kitty Sit whose CD "Everlasting Fire" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Kat Downs and Mike Thompson.

Me: Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile. How are you both?

Kat: Great, thank you!

Mike: Doing well, thanks.

Me: Okay, I am gonna come right and say it, your duo is very original... a piano and drums. So, whose idea was it to have that combination?

Kat: I guess that would be me. Originally I asked Mike to play only one song with me for a recording, which of course went incredible. After that I was looking at my library and I realized that a lot of my writing would work well in a double-percussion format. So I asked him if he wanted to experiment.

Mike: And the rest is history.

Me: Do you know any other band that just has drums and piano?

Kat: Only the Dresden Dolls, and I didn't even know about them until after Sit Kitty Sit was already up and running. Another band mate of mine in another project told me about them and since then I have, of course, fallen in love with them. But while the instrumentation is the same, their music is much much much different from ours.

Me: Kat, you play piano and sing in Sit Kitty Sit. How long have you been playing piano?

Kat: I started taking lessons when I was 6 because my mom couldn't keep me off of her piano. Ha ha!

Me: Did you always know you wanted to be in a band and be a musician?

Kat: I genuinely don't think it's a choice when you're an artist. You're sort of born that way. Music is all I've ever done. It's what naturally comes out of me. I don't write music because I choose to, I write because I can't help it. Ha ha ha! Eventually I stopped fighting it, and that brought me here!

Me: You studied classical music am I right?

Kat: Oh, yes. From age 6 all the way through college.

Me: You kids have been described as the Dresden Dolls, who you mentioned, King Crimson and Fiona Apple... which is the only one I can compare you with. Are you fans of those acts?

Kat: Absolutely!

Me: Who did you listen to growing up, Kat?

Kat: My home was pretty conservative, so I grew up listening to Beethoven, Wagner, Handel, basically a lot of classical music. I didn't start listening to anything even remotely like rock until high school.

Me: Mike, how long have you been playing drums?

Mike: I started beating on stuff at a very young age but started formal lessons at 10.

Me: You didn't study classical music, right? I am sure you are a more classic rock fan.

Mike: That is correct. I would definitely listen to classical music from time to time but I was mainly interested in rock.

Me: So, who is your favorite drummer, Mike?

Mike: Ha, impossible to answer. So many drummers have influenced me equally in so many ways it would be inaccurate to put one above all else.

Me: Alright, you two are based in San Francisco, but are you both originally from there?

Kat: No... I'm from Green Bay, Wisconsin. Go Packers!

Mike: I'm from Westerly, R.I. Go Patriots!

Me: Go Giants! Ha! How did you both end up in that part of California?

Kat: I came out here for work back in 2001.

Mike: I think I got here in 200... 6? I moved here from Santa Monica when my mom relocated jobs from Boston to Napa.

Me: So, where and how did you both meet?

Kat: We met through a mutual musician friend. I knew a bandmate of Mike's who asked me to come in and lay down some keyboard tracks on an EP they were recording. That was the day I talked to Mike the first time.

Me: I have to ask, are you two a couple? If so, how does that work?

Kat: No, we're not. We are a couple of nerds, though!

Mike: Indeed! Hot Music Nerds Playing Hard Piano Rock.

Me: That should of been the name of the band. So, Kat, with the band name, I take it you named the band. Where did the band name come from?

Kat: I didn't name it, actually. A friend of mine did. Before this band I always played keys standing up, but this music is too complex for that. So I had no idea that if you sat me down I'd start thrashing around like I do while I play. She was poking fun at how much I was moving, "Sit Kitty! Sit!" And there you have it.

Kat: Absolutely! I studied it in college, actually, which is when I first got the idea of basing an album on it. But I was no where near having the chops necessary to pull it off back then.

Me: Whose idea was it to base the whole album on the book?

Kat: Still me. Originally we were discussing the seven deadly sins, but the only reason I was even interested in that was because of the Inferno, so then I thought, "why not just go to the source? Let's do the whole thing."

Me: Was it easy to write all the songs for it, Kat?

Kat: Some of them yes, some of them no. "Roots" was born in about 15 minutes. "Ditch" in about 30. But "The Pulse" took almost a year. The lyrics did not want to come out. Neither did the piano solo. I really struggled with that one. Which is also why I am so proud that it turned out so fantastic. I feel like I really earned that one.

Me: This past year you kids toured Europe. Where did you go?

Kat: We did the Netherlands, Germany, France and England.

Me: Was it a fun trip?

Kat: Yes... and a fantastic learning experience.

Mike: Agreed. Can't wait to do it again!

Me: I have to ask, how do you compare American audiences with European ones?

Kat: I have to say it was comforting that they are quite similar. Despite the language barrier, and the different backgrounds people are just really hungry for good music. We met a lot of amazing people and made some fantastic new fans!

Me: I have to ask you about the tattoos you kids have... Kat, are those moths or butterflies? I have a better pic of them here...

Kat: So far, they are all butterflies.

Me: Are you a butterfly fan? That's a stupid question I am sure. Haha.

Kat: Haha... I am, but it's more the symbolism of them that initially drew me. They represent rebirth!

Me: Mike, that's a big ass scorpion on your arm. Is there a story about that tattoo?

Me: Mike, a lot of musicians I have interviewed here on the Phile went to Berklee. You went there, right? What did you study?

Mike: I studied Performance Techniques & Music Business.

Me: Was it a good experience?

Mike: The best. Loved it there. Met so many amazing people and musicians from around the world who in turn helped me to be the the musician I am today.

Me: Kat, where did you study?

Kat: At a small liberal arts college in Wisconsin called St. Norbert College. I majored in music.

Me: So, what's next for you kids next year? Are you working on a new album?

Kat: We are going to be touring A LOT. Which makes it more difficult for me to write. So most likely we'll be looking at releasing either a few singles, or an EP.

Me: Will you come back on the Phile when it's out?

Kat: Absolutely!

Mike: With pleasure..

Me: Okay, go ahead and mention your website and everything. Please come back again next year.

Kat: Find everything in the world at sitkittysit.com and please add us to your playlists on Spotify!

Me: All the best, and continued success, you two.

Kat: Thanks!

Mike: Cheers!

That about does it for this entry. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim, Jeff Trelewicz and Kat and Mike from Sit Kitty Sit. Well, that's it for this year. The Phile will be back on January 8th with the 10th Anniversary Special. It should be fun. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Have a safe and Happy New Year! See you in 2016.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Hey there, kids, welcome back to the Phile. How are you? Did you have a good Christmas? I have to say I had a fantastic Christmas. Did you see a bright light whizzing by over your house last night? It wasn't Santa. A streak of bright light lit up the skies over Arizona, Nevada, and California Tuesday night. It turned out to be debris from a Russian space rocket re-entering the atmosphere, but some people with their phones at the ready didn't yet have that information as they watched the mysterious spectacle unfold.
U.S. Strategic Command spokeswoman Julie Ziegenhorn says the fireball was the result of an SL-4 rocket body booster from Russia that was launched Monday. Actually, if curious onlookers had been informed it was a Russian rocket with an official-sounding name, it probably would not have eased their nerves. In November, another strange fireball lighting up the skies over California was later attributed to the U.S. government testing nuclear-capable missiles. No big deal.
People near Las Vegas assumed it was a meteor or a close encounter with aliens. It's suspicious that all these curiosities keep occurring in the western United States. Hopefully incidents with both American and Russian rockets are just a coincidence. At least that's what the government would like you to believe! Trust no one. GOP front runner Donald Trump has been escalating his racism and anti-Muslim sentiment, and it's definitely not making America great again. It's making it a pretty scary place, especially for kids who don't really understand what's going on, but may hear the hyperbole trickling down from adults who aren't thinking about little ears eavesdropping. In early December, a Muslim mom named Melissa Chance Yassini posted to Facebook about her 8 year old daughter, Sofia, who is afraid of being deported for her religion, and it is heartbreaking. She wrote, "Sad day in America when I have to comfort my 8 year old child who heard that someone with yellow hair named Trump wanted to kick all Muslims out of America. She had began collecting all her favorite things in a bag in case the army came to remove us from our homes. She checked the locks on the door 3-4 times. This is terrorism. No child in America deserves to feel that way." The post soon went viral because the idea of little girl carrying around a suitcase like that is sad as hell. But there's a silver lining. The post caught the eye of an army vet in Colorado named Kerri Peek who posted her photo and commented, "Salamalakum Melissa! Please show this picture of me to your daughter. Tell her I am a Mama too and as a soldier I will protect her from the bad guys." Peek was so upset by Melissa's post that she started a hashtag on Twitter and encouraged other army vets to respond. #IWillProtectYou is being used by hundreds of veterans to express messages of support and protection. This is what it looks like when soldiers make America great, Donald. Shit, here's another crazy Muslim story... A British Muslim family were about to embark on their dream vacation to Disneyland with 11 aunts, uncles and cousins when U.S. Homeland Security banned them from boarding the flight to Los Angeles.
With no explanation or compensation, and having had their necessary travel authorization approved by the U.S. Embassy weeks before, Mohammad Tariq Mohmood and his family were denied the opportunity to visit the Happiest Place on Earth. The Member of Parliament representing the family's district wrote a letter to Prime Minister David Cameron, demanding action.
Mr. Mahmood, 41, who owns a gym in North East London, was looking forward to reuniting with family members in Southern California for the first time in 15 years.
The trip was planned in part by the kids, ages 8 to 19, who were excited for the Disney dream vacation. Mahmood told "Metro," "We had been planning the trip for four to five months and my kids had countdowns on their phones… We are decent people. My kids are obviously upset. They know why it happened and they know what is going on in the world." He added, "It could be because of Donald Trump, as why otherwise would all of this spring up on us?"
The Mahmood family lost over £11,000, and were forced to endure the embarrassment of being turned away. Forget Disneyland; this is Dismaland. Mahmood concluded, "I respect these people need to react if there is a genuine concern but they need to make sure this concern is genuine… They need to check our backgrounds, check our accounts and check our businesses before they react like that. They can’t react like that just because we are Muslim." A woman who may be a spy for Santa under the Twitter handle @_mayraduarte_ posted a video of a kid displaying instant disgust, disappointment and rage when he received the wrong video game for Christmas. He had been hoping for "WWE2K16," but instead he received "WWE2K15." Wrong year! The horror! Some kids are quite gracious when they receive presents they didn't want. Not him. He noticed this most outrageous oversight quite quickly. Sure, some people had to chime in on whether this was funny or the kid is a monster that should be taught a lesson. In the end, the good folks at the WWE video game franchise reached out to possibly try and create a Christmas miracle...

Ultimately, he learned a valuable lesson: if you throw a fit, make sure it goes viral so you the toy manufacturer quickly gives you your way. Kids have it so easy now. Back in the day they had to tape their tantrum on VHS and mail it to the company, it took forever. A 7 year old girl from Old Bridge, New Jersey, called 911 in a panic after she knocked over her Elf on the Shelf. The girl, Isabelle LaPeruta, was terrified she had ruined Christmas, as she thought the elf would lose its magic after she accidentally knocked it down with a ball.
The Elf on the Shelf inspires so much fear and awe in kids that one professor actually warned it teaches children how to live in a police surveillance state. Apparently that warning wasn't too far off. She eventually realizes that calling 911 was probably a bigger mistake than knocking down the elf. Or, perhaps she fears that police involvement would draw further attention to the accident and get a report sent to the North Pole.
The police are required to visit a home if a child calls 911. Isabelle's mother, Lynanne LaPeruta​, had been upstairs taking a nap and awoke to Isabelle trying to quietly dismiss the police from the front porch. The responding officer had the pleasure of radioing back to headquarters with news on why the emergency call was placed. "Isabella apologized. She touched the Elf on a Shelf. She won't call 911 again.​" Old Bridge Police Lt. Joseph Mandola was also understanding about the incident. "To her, it was an emergency when she touched the elf, and she's going to ruin Christmas, so that was her emergency. In her mind, she did right, and it was fine with us." Everyone can now agree that Elf on the Shelf has gone too far as a cultural phenomenon. People pose as the elf for hire, pose their baby as the elf, and now kids are so afraid of it that they deem it an emergency if it's moved. Perhaps it's time for the elves to permanently live in a box in the basement or attic. So, there's a new movie coming out that I am not too sure about. It might be good...

Why is Yoda there though? Hmmm.. So, the Phile has a new sponsor...

Damn, I wanna try that. Somewhere in the world there's a skateshop and a butchers and they share a sign...

So, by now most of you have seen the new Star Wars movie, right? You know Luke is not in it that much, but he's in it a little bit more than you think. Take a look...

It's the same thing. When I saw the movie I was thinking where did I see this before...?

And then it hit me...

Crazy Disney. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Hmmm. I don't know about this one. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, while we are on this subject January starts the tenth anniversary of the Phile so I thought it'll be fun for all through January to have the Mindphucks sent in by you readers. Some I use are already sent in but throughout January all will be sent in by you kids. So, send me the Mindphucks to thepeverettphile@gmail.com subject: Mindphuck 2016. Get to it. Okay, so, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's things that happen i Florida that happen nowhere else in the Universe. That's why I have a pheature called...

David Ziskoski and Megan Ohara of Palm Beach, Florida seem like very nice criminals. (Note: that's "Ohara," not "O'Hara." Perhaps her life of crime began when she was robbed of the apostrophe that is her Irish birthright.) They enjoy taking long walks around town, browsing local art galleries, and writing funny notes in the shops' guestbooks. We know this because when the owner of a gallery they robbed described the couple, police recognized them as regulars in the neighborhood, and also because they wrote notes in his guestbook before stealing from him.

David's face right now: "I may be under arrest for theft, but I'm TOTALLY getting away with being high af."
There's no way to know whether it was Meg or David's idea (it was probably David; sorry, but the dude's hairstyle and eye-droopiness levels are whatever the opposite of a resumé is), but after walking around the Attila JK exhibition at Palm Beach's Ildiko Contemporary Fine Art (IFCA) Gallery and making multiple fake guestbook entries, they took a bracelet and ring off a desk in the gallery. The bracelet belonged to IFCA's owner and the ring to the artist. To be clear: this was not a jewelry store. It was an art gallery, and these items were the gallery owner's personal property, worth about $6,000. So, what did they write in the guestbook? The cleverest entry was probably the fake email they left, "wedidnttakeit@gmail.com." It was downhill after that. One entry was a drawing of a penis and a drawing of a woman's face (presumably two separate drawings next to each other, although it's an art gallery... you gotta get noticed somehow) with the name "Meg" next to it. Another simply said "Meg" with another fake email but her actual phone number. If these two ever want to be able to actually afford art, a career change is probably in order. That said, they handled their arrest quite well. Officers looking around Palm Beach for the couple spotted them and approached them in a Publix grocery store. Ohara admitted to taking the items after being confronted and produced them from her purse on the spot, which is pretty well-behaved for someone being caught out as a robber inside a Publix, the town square of Florida. Later, at the Palm Beach jail, she told officers, "If I knew they cost that much, I wouldn't have taken it." David, for his part, admitted to leaving the guestbook entries, which was less impressive. Cut your damn hair, David.

Winter
In the northern hemisphere, winter is the coldest and most Netflix bandwidth season of the year.

Today's guest is the author of "Have Piano... Will Swing!" the 42nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. He is also a legendary jazz pianist. Please welcome to the Phile... Hod O'Brien.

Hod: She impressed me by sounding like singers I was used to hearing like Ella and Saray and telling me she had never really heard of them before... that was in 1980... her style sounded just like them.

Me: How is she doing? Last time she was here was a few years ago plugging her book.

Hod: She's doing fine except for the fact that the jazz cognoscenti still don't really know her and haven't recognized her for her great talents in spite of the 20 plus CDs and favorable reviews she has gotten from the critics over the many years she's been in the business. They seem interested in the latest fad...

Me: She said you met at a club in New York City in the 80s... do you remember that day like it was yesterday?

Hod: Very well. She told me her family had recently moved to Charlottesville, Virginia from New York... that was where my sister lived and raised her family. She met my nephew and he told her that I was playing in a New York jazz club and that piqued her interest and she came to the club Gregory's... where I was performing. She was working in Wall Street at the time, the rest is history.

Me: So, did you approach her or did she approach you?

Hod: She approached me and told me she knew my family and they had recommended she hear and meet me.

Me: How long before you two were married, Hod?

Hod: Thirteen years!

Me: You have worked together for a long time. Do you still like performing and working with her?

Hod: Very much so! Especially with our daughter in the act as well... it's fun improvising together... you know "the family that plays together stays together."

Me: I love this pic of you three...

Me: What's your secret, sir, on your successful marriage?

Hod: I guess I just said it... the music... it's powerful... full of love and deep connection... we like playing together... on and off the stage. Works like a charm if you hear Stef's CD "French Cookin'" there's a song on there we actually sing together... "What Am I Doing With You?" It's about two people who are very different... as we are... and yet it works. At the end the song says, "what would I do without you?"

Me: Awe. I need to play that for somebody. Your daughter Veronica is also a very good singer. A few years ago she was going to the University of Miami. Is she still going there?

Hod: She has two more semesters as a full scholarship student in the jazz voice departments of the Frost School of Music under Shelly Berg... doing great things. She has made the Monk semi-finals... singing jazz, rock, theater, opera and writing music and performing professionally.

Me: So, are you all 'Canes fans?

Hod: Well, we're not sport folks but it's fun to route for them.

Me: Okay, let's talk about you. Steph told me you have lung cancer.. I was hesitant on bringing it up but she said it was fine, that I can. When were you first diagnosed, sir?

Hod: Just in April of 2015 was a shocker. I had severe back pain for years... thought t was from bending over the piano...

Me: Do you find playing piano has become harder with it?

Hod: Yes. Chemotherapy and other medications have adverse effects on the nervous system but I still play a lot... more than ever actually... as as long as audiences are happy... I'll keep going! The playing is my therapy.

Me: I am sure it has been rough on Stephanie and Veronica... how did you approach them and tell them?

Hod: Stephanie has been with me all through this and we told Veronica right away... she's very supportive and strong too... it has only made us closer and more alive... but I'll be 80 in Janiary... it's life you know.

Me: Are you doing any treatments for it, sir?

Hod: Early on had radiation which helped then 6 months of chemo I'm done for awhile and regaining my strength then might have some "maintenance" regime when I'm back from my touring.

Me: Okay, enough about that... let's talk about some more fun topics. You are a fantastic piano player which goes without saying. How old were you when you first started to play piano, Hod?

Hod: Age 8.

Me: Do you remember what the first song you learned to play was?

Hod: A piece of sheet music called "Blue Boogie." Also "Kitten On the Keys."

Me: How old were you when you started to play professionally?

Hod: Twenty... subbing for Randy Weston in Avalock in the Berkshires.

Me: I think you guys are based near DC now, but where are you originally from?

Hod: Stef from Bronxville, New York and I'm from Lakeville, Connecticut in the Berkshires. We live near Charlottesville, Virginia now.

Me: You played with some jazz greats... including Chet Baker. Do you have anyone that you wished you can play with?

Hod: Would have been great to play with Zoot and Al, Art Farmer and Gigi Gryce (I did record with Art). Would love to do more with Scott Hamilton and Harry Allen, love playing with Joe Cohn... a a lot of the young cats in NYC.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your book "Have Piano... Will Swing!" That book is named after your album of the same name, right?

Hod: Yes.

Me: What made you write a book about your jazz experiences, Hod? Was it Steph's idea?

Hod: Yes... she was impressed that I could remember all these great and funny stories and felt that people who enjoyed my music would love to hear the colorful stories which surrounded the music in my life.

Me: How long did it take you to write?

Hod: Three to four years... on and off... with touring and and Stef's teaching... it took awhile... the cancer thing and my approaching 80th birthday got us to finish the job!

Me: Is there a story that you didn't put in the book that you wish you did?

Hod: Not that I can think of at the moment... I'm sure they will occur to me as we travel and have memories of days past...

Me: Your music you play is mostly swing I would say, and cool music to drive to. Anyway, about 15 years ago swing music became the in thing again with bands like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Cherry Poppin Daddies and the Brian Setzer Orchestra. Did these bands make you cringe or were you happy that bands like these brought a new light to swing music?

Hod: Sorry, I just don't know these bands. Most of my heroes are in the past but I think anything that brings young people and new audiences into jazz is good... maybe they'll head to the classics after hearing these.

Me: What bands do you listen to, sir?

Hod: Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band is great and fun. I love hearing and working with any band of Danny Dimperios. I still listen a lot to the old bands... Red Garland, Philly Joe...

Me: If I named a few piano players tell me what you think of them with one sentence... Paul McCartney.

Hod: Good composer, musical.

Me: What about Jools Holland?

Hod: Don't know him sorry.

Me: Elton John?

Hod: Not my bag.

Me: Nick Cave?

Hod: Don't know him.

Me: Alright, so, what is next for you... apart from beating that horrible disease, any new recordings?

Hod: Not unless I can recover more of my good control and technique. My friends in Holland show me my four page discography on jazzdiscography.com... it's a lot... maybe enough. I do play a few songs on Veronica's recently recorded CD (not yet released)... who knows?

Me: Hod, it is such an honor for me to have you here on the Phile. I hope it was fun. Tell the readers where they can get the book.

Me: Please tell Steph hi, and I hope you get well soon, sir. All the best, and take care.

Hod: Thanks for your interest in my music.

Me: You're welcome, sir, get well.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Hod O'Brien for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with the last entry of the year pheaturing the kids from the duo Sit Kitty Sit. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Monday, December 21, 2015

I don't want no Cadillac in my back yard. I don't need no fifty-six Les Paul guitar. I don't want no mansion house with an ocean view. All I want for Christmas is you. - Lonesome Dave Peverett.

Hello there, welcome to A Peverett Phile Christmas 7. How are you? Wishing you a happy whatever doesn't offend you. Whether you're offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don't really mean either. You know, no one sends Christmas cards anymore. If I sent Christmas cards, you'd totally be on my list. Sending paperless Christmas cards is a great way to feel better about the murdered tree in your living room. I have to apologize, I tend to be grumpy during holiday season and every other time of the year. Alright, let's start off with my favorite Christmas story of the year. When Nicki Adams was forced to admit to her daughter Belle that Santa Claus isn't real, the 10 year old was heartbroken. Outraged at her parents' betrayal, she slipped a shockingly rude note under their door to express her wrath. But instead of being hurt, Nicki found herself laughing uncontrollably. The note was so funny, she had to post it to Facebook. And like all funny kids' notes, it's now circulating around the globe as fast as Santa's sleigh. When you read it, you'll understand why.

Ouch. Like most kids born in 2005, she's not great at spelling, but she has mastered the scornful use of emojis and hashtags. Her parents had better get her a lot of great toys this Christmas to comfort her. Because if she's this angsty as a 10 year old, they'll need to bank up a lot of good will before she becomes a teenager. Another little girl thought she saw Santa Claus at a West Virginia Walmart, and the Kris Kringle look-alike adorably played along. A large man with a big white beard should know better than to wear a red shirt in public in December, but he made up for his accidental Santa Claus cosplay by taking on the part.
When the adorable little girl asked, "Santa?" he replied, "Santa? I've been called a lot worse." Instead of crushing her dreams, he put on a one-man improv show for her, and made her Christmas. This guy is even better than Santa... he actually exists. Dr. Laura Pinto is a digital technology professor who has begun warning everyone that the Elf on the Shelf is preparing kids to be comfortable with police state surveillance. Merry Christmas! The Elf on the Shelf has become a widely popular tradition in recent years. It's based on a 2005 book, in which elves are described as scouts that watch over people's homes and report any suppressive or subversive activity back to the North Pole. Wow. When you read it in one simple statement, it actually sounds exactly like a police state.
Pinto co-authored a paper in which the Orwellian Christmas tradition is described as: "...a capillary form of power that normalizes the voluntary surrender of privacy, teaching young people to blindly accept panoptic surveillance." Pinto is not holed up in a basement bunker preparing for the end of freedom as we know it. She's a professor at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology. She also does not think that the Elf on the Shelf will ever be mentioned in any WikiLeaks or government cables that were released by Edward Snowden. "I don’t think the elf is a conspiracy and I realize we’re talking about a toy. It sounds humorous, but we argue that if a kid is okay with this bureaucratic elf spying on them in their home, it normalizes the idea of surveillance and in the future restrictions on our privacy might be more easily accepted." Most kids and families that use the elf truly enjoy the game and tradition. But Pinto notes that since the publication of the paper, several parents have reached out to her with stories of kids being terrified by the idea of an elf constantly watching over them. Her larger point is that as digital communications continue to dominate our daily lives and personal information, the Elf on the Shelf might make children too accepting of actual surveillance in the future. She also feels kids would be accustomed to the idea of modifying their behavior for fear that they might be watched at any moment.
So, are kids being prepped for a future police state? Or will they grow up and tease their parents for such a weird game? Probably the latter. But until then, just to be safe, put that Elf on the Shelf in a lead box and trust no one. Parents accidentally dressed their son in an obscene Christmas sweater for his school's ugly sweater day. Oops! It was an honest mistake, one that they missed until their son's Kindergarten teacher pointed it out. On the plus side, this sweater finally reveals where Santa relieves himself on his trip around the world. He can't do it off the sled while traveling at supersonic speeds, and he wouldn't want to impose by using the bathroom of a house he's visiting. The sweater explains it all...

It's just like those car window decals of Calvin taking a wiz. Watch out for that yellow snow, everybody. But it could be worse. At least Santa Claus wasn't coming to town. Yesterday I mentioned Whore in a Drawer which is kinda like Elf on a Shelf. Well, I didn't know the Elf and the Whore met until I saw this pic...

Hmmmm. That's a funny way to drink tea. I'm confused... haha. So, in Japan somewhere at a department store they posted these signs... this is 100% true.

I don't think they know what fuckin' means. Or maybe they do. So, it's Christmas as you know in a few days and I was thinking, there's some people out there that don't know what Christmas is all about. Let me break it down for you...

Do you get it now? Do you like Nativity scenes? I have to show you this one which I think is the most original Nativity scene I have ever seen.

That's so clever. I love Christmas and from Thanksgiving until Christmas Day I listen to my Christmas iPod in my car which has over 750 Christmas songs on it. There's one album I don't have which I need to get is this one...

What a great title. Actually, I don't even thought if that is a Christmas album. I do have this one though...

Yes, that is 100% real as well. Oh great, I just found out there's even a newer version of Elf on a Shelf...

I wonder if he is gonna meet Whore in a Drawer as well. One of my favorite things to do at Christmas time is to drive around and look at Christmas displays. I love Christmas lights! This one has to be one of my favorites ever!

Do you get it? It's so bloody clever. Alright, so, I am sure you will be going to a Christmas party wearing an ugly sweater this week. How about this one?

Her legs must be frostbitten. Ha. Okay, and now from he home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

3. It takes all year to find the rare, perfect tree that is large, beautiful, strong and old enough to be killed so it can be gawked at by tourists for a month.

2. This year's grand marshal of the lighting ceremony will be Pizza Rat.

And the number one fascinating phact about Rockefeller Center's Christmas tree is...

1. New York City sanitation workers are still sweeping up the damn pine needles from the center's first tree, in 1933.

Oh, boy. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Haha. Alright, so, as you know I live in Florida and there's some strange things that happen in Florida that don't happen nowhere else. So, here's a Christmas Florida story under a pheature I call...

Nineteen year old Rachel Yoshida of Florida posted her family's Christmas card to Imgur on Tuesday, where it rocked a few boats. In it, Rachel, her mother, and her older sister Natalie are all wearing t-shirts that say "HO," while the patriarch of the family sits like a king in his comfy chair wearing one that reads "Chillin' with my ho's." You're chilling with your ho's what, sir?

The idea for the pic came from 21 year old Natalie, who has a lot of followers on Instagram, and certainly knows how to frame a good themed photo. Natalie told BuzzFeed that their dad was indeed very chill about the whole thing and pretty much shuffled wherever they told him. If he is a pimp, he's an undemanding one. "My mom agreed immediately... My dad never actually agreed or disagreed. He’s a great sport.
All of our immediate friends understand our humor so they think it’s hilarious... Not one person who knows us in real life has ‘hated’. Everyone who is ‘hating’ is seeking offense in an obvious joke." Well, everyone in that photo is an adult and agreed to participate in a weird family sex joke, so it seems okay. Except maybe for the dad? Someone should check on him. Meanwhile, here's what the Yoshidas have to say to the haters...

Okay, it's Monday and time to talk football with my good friend Jeff.

Me: Hey, Jeff, welcome to the annual Christmas entry! How are you?

Jeff: I've been sick for a few weeks, but I am starting to get better. How have you been?

Me: Hanging in there. So, what are your plans for Christmas? I have no idea what I'm doing apart from working.

Jeff: Spending Christmas with my family as usual. I'm working Christmas Eve but the flower shop I work at now is closed on Christmas day.

Me: Okay, before we talk football let's talk about the most important topic of the week... Star Wars! Did you see it? What did you think?

Jeff: Of course I saw it! I saw it on Saturday afternoon the first chance I got. I loved it. It was great! I think the franchise is in good hands with J.J. Abrams. There were a few things I didn't enjoy, minor things really. And of course there are questions left to be answered. We shall see.

Me: I, of course, loved it. Let's talk football, but yeah, there's a few questions I have with the movie. So, the Giants won last week but lost yesterday! Any other NFL news this week?

Jeff: The biggest news of the week is the playoffs are shaping up. A few teams have officially been eliminated now. No serious injuries to report so that's always good. At least the Giants won last week. This week, they almost pulled off a great comeback against Carolina, but Cam Newton lead the undefeated Panthers to another win. Odell Beckham Jr. got into several fights on the field, including a cheap shot. There are people saying he might get suspended for next week.

Me: I hope not. So, how did we do in our last picks? I'm still winning, right?

Jeff: I went 2-0 last week with a Steelers win. You matched me by also going 2-0. But the difference is the Steelers won, coming from behind to beat Denver while the Giants lost. You are no longer still winning, it's now tied.

Me: Ugh! You said we need to make up the two weeks we didn't pick, and I mentioned last week that we should get double the points for if our teams win. Whatcha think?

Jeff: That works for me, the last three weeks we will earn two points for every Steelers or Giants win. Because of that, I earned two points this week with the Pittsburgh win. We each have 34 points. Your record is better than mine, but the Steelers have a better record than the Giants do. If it ends in a tie, the tie breaker will be overall record which you have now.

Me: Let's pick for next week. I say Eagles by 4 on Saturdays game and Patriots who I cannot stand by 4. What do you pick?

Jeff: New England is a funny team. You either love them or you hate them. No one ever tolerates them. And I agree. I hate them too for a few different reasons. My picks are Kansas City by 7 and Colts by 3.

Me: Okay, have a great Christmas! I will see you back here next Monday, the last entry of the year!

Jeff: Merry Christmas to you and your family, Jason. And Merry Christmas to the readers of the Phile!

X-Mas
Ugh. Fine. Christmas. Jesus Christ, lighten up.

It's 10:09 am, 78°F and Kelly's super nerdy family Christmas card may hold a clue to her baby's name. Since it's pretty clear that Jon Snow is alive and there's not much to read into in "Game of Thrones" episodes, interviews, or casting information anymore, let's move on. And read into Kelly's "Game of Thrones"-themed holiday card. Like the HBO show it's inspired by, this family photo has layers of clues that you can only understand if you pay close attention, find the symbols, and read a lot of manic articles on the Internet. Kelly shared her family's holiday card on Instagram. It features herself, husband Brandon Blackstock, daughter River Rose, and Blackstock's children from a previous marriage, Seth and Savannah. They're standing in front of some type of manor, which could believably be a Calabasas mansion or a Riverrun shed. The family all wears red and green old-timey clothes, and the font is total "Game of Thrones" theme song-style. The card says "Merry Christmas from the Blackstocks," and also says "Winter is coming" with the name "Blackstock" underneath.
Winter is coming? Is this a run-of-the-mill "Game of Thrones" reference, or a hint about pregnant Kelly's soon-to-be-born child? People notes the message has "some wondering if Clarkson might be hinting at her future baby's name." Some are wondering!
The photo's caption seems to reinforce that theory with the hashtag combination "#winteriscoming #riverisnotworried." And it's easy to believe that if a couple names one kid River, the next one might also have a nature-related name too. Of course there's no way to know for sure, so the only thing to do is go wild with theories until the baby is born or "Game of Thrones" comes back to distract us.

The 42nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

It makes a good Christmas present. Anyway, Hod will be the guest on the Phile next Sunday.

This is so cool! Today's pheatured guest is he drummer and one of the founding members of one of my favorite bands ever... Foghat. This year their album "Fool For the City" and the song "Slow Ride" both had their 40th anniversary. It is a great honor to have him here finally. Please welcome to the Phile, my good friend... Roger Earl!

Me: Rog!!!! Welcome to the Phile at last. How are you?

Roger: Good! No, great!

Me: I have been wanting to interview you for such a long time. Anyway, I have to start and ask you about my dad. When did you first meet him, do you remember, Rog?

Roger: Yes, first time I met your dad I auditioned for the drum seat in Savoy Brown at a place called The Nag’s Head. It’s a pub in southwest London and I didn’t get the job the first time. They thought that maybe my friend Dave Hutchins and I were like a rhythm section duo. He was a bass player. Then about a month or so later, Harry Simmonds, Savoy Brown’s manager and Kim’s brother, called me up and asked if would I be interested in auditioning again. I said yes, so the second time round I got the job and that was when I really met Dave. I also learned that it was because of Dave that I got the job… well it was also probably because I played alright but the drummer from the first audition didn’t work out. He couldn’t play a shuffle and Dave said, “What about that guy with the look, he could play?” And so I guess to some degree I have to thank your dad for getting the gig. That’s what happened.

Me: I interviewed Kim years ago and asked him about when you, dad and Tony Stevens left Savoy. He said he was unhappy with how things turned out at the time. So, whose idea was it to leave Savoy Brown? Was it dad's?

Roger: There was a meeting when we were playing in San Francisco with Harry and Kim Simmonds and Kim fired Tony Stevens. He said, “You’re not in the band any more." Dave and I had been enjoying our time in Savoy and the band was very, very popular and they had a new record deal. I think we we’re getting about 100 dollars a week. We weren’t getting paid very well. We hadn’t been paid for any of the albums except the last one, I think we did 5 albums and it just seemed like time for a change.
After we left the meeting your Dad and I went to my hotel room to talk about it. Your dad had an acoustic guitar and that’s the first time I heard “Fools Hall of Fame." And we talked about what we wanted to do musically and about being in Savoy Brown. We were both ready for a change, as was Kim. After we left Savoy Brown started having hit records. Hahaha. So the next morning we had a breakfast meeting with Harry and your dad and I explained to him that we were going to leave the band but we would stay for as long as Kim needed us. Harry freaked out and then informed us that we would never work again. And true to his word, after we started Foghat he stopped us from working in England and Europe. He told the agencies and promoters that they wouldn’t get Savoy Brown or Chicken Shack (which he also managed) if they booked Foghat. I’ve remained good friends with Kim over the years. Kim gave me my shot. So, I owe him. Kim is a great guitar player and I consider him a good friend.

Me: When was the last time you saw Kim Simmonds, Roger?

Roger: Kim was playing with his band Savoy Brown at the Iridium in New York City a couple of years ago. I had been asked to induct Kim into the N.Y. Blues Hall of Fame. Now you can imagine the lead guitar player and founding member of Savoy Brown getting a little nervous about the drummer talking about him. Haha. On the ride in I made a few notes and I think it went down rather well. It was a great night! That was the last time I saw Kim and we hung out backstage. I also got up and played a few songs with him from his new album. Kim is a great guitar player. Maybe we will try and talk him into coming and playing on a couple of songs on our new album.

Me: Alright, so, before Foghat was named Foghat the band was almost gonna be called Brandy Wine. That's not the best name, is it? When you first heard the name Foghat what did you think?

Roger: Yeah, Brandy Wine... BLEH. I'm now throwing up again. Haha. Actually there were a number of different names going around and we had already finished the artwork for the first album. I remember driving into London with Dave and Rod and I think it was pretty much that day we decided to call it Foghat. This is a known story but I’ll tell it, Dave made up the name when he was playing a Scrabble game with his brother John when they were in the early teens. The name stuck! We weren’t really sure what it meant but the name stuck! And over the years it has been very, very good to me.

Me: Did you have any names you wanted to call the band that were shot down?

Roger: Let me think… I can’t remember now at the moment but Foghat’s taken over, hasn’t it? That’s it.

Me: My son Logan asked me recently about you auditioning for Jimi Hendrix. He asked me if that was true and I said yes. When was that audition, Rog, and how was it? Did you have to learn a bunch of songs for it?

Roger: Jimi Hendrix hadn’t formed a band yet and he was auditioning at the time. I had been in a band when I was 17 or 18 that Chas Chandler was putting together but never really went anywhere Now Chas was the bass player for the Animals and he was also Jimi’s manager. Chas called me up when I was working as a commercial artist and playing weekends with a band called The Tramps, and asked if I would I be interested in auditioning for Jimi Hendrix. Now there was all this buzz in the papers about this musician Jimi Hendrix. Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton, Pete Townsend were all raving about him. Like I said I still had a day job at the time.
So, I went to this club called Birdland off Piccadilly Circus in London and it was raining as usual. It was lunchtime around 12 - 1 o’clock. In fact Colin, my brother, and a friend of his came along to help me set up my drums. I borrowed my father’s car that day and put my drums in it. So we’re standing out in the rain and Jimi walked up to me outside the club and started telling me about some songs he’d written the night before. He didn’t know me from anybody. He was just real friendly and real cool. I didn’t get the job I came in fourth or fifth. But considering the kind of talent that was there auditioning I think if I came in fourth or fifth I did well.
The audition was good, in fact Jimi was very generous with his time. I think I played 35- 40 minutes. When he first started playing… I didn’t have a fucking clue... haha. I had never heard any music like this. Then a few minutes into it he started playing a few other songs. He did a Chuck Berry song, a slow blues one and I think he did l “Like a Rolling Stone." Anyway, I didn’t get the job, Mitch Mitchell did and he did a really great job with it. Yeah, Jimi was special. Later on when he did have his band together, I did get up and jam with him a couple of times in a club in New York and in L.A. I played a song or two with him. It was really sad when we lost Jimi. He was really special.

Me: Alright, let's talk about "Slow Ride" which is celebrating it's 40 years this year. Can you believe it's been that long?

Roger: NO. Hahaha. Time flies when you’re having fun.

Me: My dad once told me the song wasn't supposed to be on the album and was written as a joke. What do you remember about it?

Roger: I remember what happened. Rod and I owned a house out on Long Island in Shoreham. We had the basement sound proofed. Tony Stevens had, once again, been fired and I invited Nick Jameson, our long time producer and friend, to join the band. I had lived up in Woodstock, N.Y. as did Nick. He was an engineer at Bearsville Studios at the time and we become friends. Anyway, Nick joined the band and we were down in the basement jamming and I started playing the tom tom, as Nick told me to do, and then we just started playing. And then Dave said, “I’ve got some words that might fit!” and that was it.

Me: How did that song get to be so popular and Foghat's best known song, Rog?

Roger: Because I was great. hahahaha. No, actually we recorded the song in Sharon, Vermont at Suntreader Studios. Nick and I had been up there mixing. Really I just brought in tea and biscuits and Nick did the mixing. Haha. We finished mixing “Slow Ride” and another song called “Save Your Loving For Me” for “Fool for the City” and then we drove back down to Bearsville.
We got stopped on the way by the Vermont police. Nick and I were both stoned out of our brains and we rolled down the window to let the smoke out... but that’s another story! Haha! I don’t who they were looking for but they stopped everybody. They said, “take it easy” since I had come over the hill doing 70 mph in a stationwagon filled with drums and bass guitars. Anyway, that’s yet another story. So we get to Bearsville and we played it for Paul Fishkin.

Me: Originally it wasn't supposed to be a single, right?

Roger: “Slow Ride” was nearly eight minutes long. Paul said, “No, you can’t have a single that’s eight minutes long” and Nick and I both said to him, “Fuck off. This is our new single” and he said "But you can’t have an eight minute single” to which we both said, “ FUCK OFF. This is our new single." Most of the time, other than “I Just Want To Make LoveTo You” Foghat didn’t pick singles, that was left up to the record company. This was the first time that I recall that we insisted that this be a single. So, Paul Fishkin, who was the CEO of Bearsville Records, said, “Well, we’ll have to chop it down.” and Nick and I both said, “Fuck off and leave it as it is!” Eventually it was edited down to four minutes and the B-side was “Save Your Loving For Me” which was the other song Nick and I had mixed. Nick was the one mixing, like I said. He was the resident genius. I was just there making tea and biscuits. Haha.

Me: I have a pic here of the single...

Me: "Slow Ride" of course is on the "Fool for the City" album. That album apart from the "Live" album is Foghat's biggest album. Was it a fun album to make, Rog?

Roger: Of course it was fun! I always had fun. Isn’t fun the best thing to have? It was really enjoyable. It was the first time, since our first album, that we actually had plenty of time in the studio. Other times we were going into the studio after being bon the road every two or three days. So this time we actually took a couple of months off to record. The studio was on top of a mountain in Sharon, Vermont so there weren’t a lot of distractions of than this store where we could buy Chateau Lafitte Rothschild wines. It was exciting. It was a time when everyone in the band was playing really well. Nick, was playing bass but he was one of those people who could play ANY instrument really really well. I hate people like that! Hahaha. Other than the first album it was the most enjoyable to make. I think we made a lot of great stuff on that record.

Me: It's also the album with just you on the front cover. So, whose idea was it for you to fish out of a man hole in New York City? Was it a spur of the moment thing?

Roger: We had probably been drinking one night and but I think it was probably Nick Jameson’s idea since he knew I had a penchant for fishing. I used to have a saying, “Water, it’s a beautiful thing. We’d be nothing without it!” which was actually quite profound. So, I’m going to give Nick Jameson credit for that. I’m not sure, we may have to talk to Nick about it, but I’m giving him credit.

Me: So, I have to ask, do you have a favorite Foghat album or song?

Roger: When it comes to a favorite album I am pretty proud of just about everything we did but I think the first album with producer Dave Edmunds was a favorite. That was the time when we first got our deal with Bearsville Records and we had a chance to really do something. It did take quite a longtime but Dave Edmonds was absolutely fantastic to work with. What he brought to the record was just incredible. He’s ability to mix and what he added to the songs. So that was probably my favorite.

Me: As we know the band broke up in '84 and us Peverett's moved back to England. Nine years later the original line-up was back together and in 1994 the album "Return of the Boogie Men" came out. Sadly that was the last full length studio album my dad was on. Anyway, in the 80s if anybody would of told you that the original line-up would be playing together again and recording, what did you think?

Roger: It was something that I had always wanted. The truth is, at the time, Dave didn’t tell me he was moving to England. It kind of came as a surprise to me. It was my wife Debra, at the time, said to me, “Did you know Dave and Linda are moving back to England?” and I said, "No, Dave never told me." A couple of weeks after we came off the road I got a call from our manager Tony Outeda and we were going to have a meeting at Dave’s house to discuss what we were going to do. Dave was moving back to England with the family and I had a warehouse full of Foghat items with which I assumed we weren’t doing anything with anymore. Dave never actually told me he was going back to England, I found out via my wife, at the time. Which was interesting but Dave didn’t talk a lot.

Me: When you all got back together to rehearse how did you feel? I bet it was weird.

Roger: No, not weird at all. I always loved working and performing with Dave. He was the heart and soul of what the band had become. He had fantastic and tremendous knowledge of all things musical and I really enjoyed it. Working with Dave again, I was really excited.

Me: When Foghat's studio album "Last Train Home" came out I interviewed Bryan Bassett who is in Foghat and was one of dad's best friends... I asked him how did he find out and hear my dad passed away? I'll ask you the same question, how did you find out and hear?

Roger: We were on the road during our last tour. And Dave had been off the road for a while to fight kidney cancer. I remember Dave calling me up one day and said, “Well, I can walk down to the gym. I don’t go in but I can walk down and I can keep an apple down.” So then he said he’d like to go out and play again. I was really happy about that. We went out for a couple of months or so when Dave go the call that his wife Linda was ill. So we cancelled the tour, and unfortunately Dave died 3 months later. I believe he died of pneumonia. It was a really tough time. Lucy, your sister, called me up early one morning and said that your dad had passed. It was a really really hard time for all of us.

Me: When you guys went back on the road in 1999 for the Millennium Tour did you have an idea that was gonna be the last tour with dad?

Roger: No, I expected us to “Roll til’ we’re old and rock til’ we drop!”

Me: How was he on that tour? He was really sick then.

Roger: I didn’t realize that Dave was sick, as far as I understood it, they had taken one of his kidneys out and he had gone through chemo and radiation and other than being skinny he was okay. After a week or so of practice and playing Dave had incredible energy. I think any time he got on stage he was energized! Dave singing and playing was fantastic. One of the things I remember from that tour was Dave and I would sit up front of the bus after each show and Dave was resident DJ. He would play whatever we wanted to hear and have some wine and cheese and tell stories about when were talking about when we were growing up and all the bands we went to see. We would go to see the same shows, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry and even though we didn’t know each other than we were at the same shows. I would be like 17, 18 and Dave was a couple years older. That part was really enjoyable. I think we got closer on that tour than we’d ever been.

Me: I have a great pic from that last tour I have to show...

Me: Let's talk about some happy stuff... Foghat Cellars. I am not a wine drinker but I know you are and dad was. How did this whole Foghat wine business come about?

Roger: Jason! Wine is good for you! So, in 2007 Foghat was playing the Midstate California Fair in Paso Robles. Two sold out shows. A winemaker by the name of Steve Rasmussen came to see us. He was a Foghat fan and a very well-respected winemaker from Tally Vineyards, and his partner had never seen us. His partner actually suggested that Foghat would make a great name for a wine because the fog in Central Coast of California rolls in from the sea and drenches the grapes. So he sent our manager Linda an email saying would we be interested in making a Foghat wine. We both started giggling mercilessly. We had actually been talking about this a couple of weeks before when Sammy Hagar sold his Cabo Wabo Tequila empire. LOL. Since we are wine drinkers we were kidding around that we should have a wine brand. So, Linda and I thought about it and decided to check it out. We then went out to the west coast to meet Steve Rasmussen and we started talking. He took us around to several wineries and introduced us to the wine business. We actually got very involved from the beginning, from going out and picking the grapes (with the professionals of course) to learning about sorting, destemming, punching down the grapes, and helping with the process all the way to the barrels to the bottling. Our first wine was a 2005 Cabernet Saubvignon from Paso Robles, CA. That was the start of a beautiful friendship and the FOGHAT CELLARS brand!

Me: Where can fans who drink wine get a bottle, Roger?

Foghat: You can actually buy our wines online at foghatcellars.com. We ship to over 35 states with more to come. We also have distribution in New York, California and Michigan right now, and Florida and Maine will be coming on board soon. There are some retail stores and restaurants in those states carry the brand! All of this info can be found on our website. It is a slow ride to build a wine brand, but we are having fun with it.

Me: It's mostly red wine, am I right?

Roger: Actually we have both red’s and white’s. We currently have 2007 & 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon, 2010 Pinot Noir, and an award winning 2010 Chardonnay! We were awarded the Bronze medal in our category at the 2014 Orange County Wine Fair. We were up against over 2300 wines. There are some new varietals in the pipeline as well so stay tuned.

Me: You heard about the "Slow Ride" beer from Belgium, right?

Roger: Yeah, but it’s not from Belgium but it’s Belgium beer. There are two companies in the states that are making a Slow Ride beer. They are in litigation with each other. We did a show down south last year, and they had the beer backstage and gave us the contact person at the company. Then Linda and I saw the beer in a store in Tennessee. Linda contacted them and asked if they were interested in doing some kind of promotion, which they were. But apparently the two companies are fighting and we won’t get in the middle of that one!. We just want to drink the beer and have a good time and were willing to help promote it.

Me: The band is currently working on a new album called "Under the Influence." That's a great name as I love puns. What can you tell us about the album?

Roger: We are recording most of it down in Florida, at Boogie Motel South. We have a number of guests on the album. One of them being Scott Holt who is a great blues guitar player and singer. He played with Buddy Guy for 10 years and tours with his own band. A great guy! We’ve co-written several songs together. Also, Tom Hambridge who is a Grammy winning producer/writer/drummer who has produced and/or written for Buddy Guy, BB King, George Thorogood, Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, Susan Tedeschi, Billy Ray Cyrus and many many more. We’re doing a couple of Tom Hambridge songs and have co- written a couple with Tom as well. The release date is June 21th, 2016. A number of the songs are done already and there are a few other guests but those are a secret.

Me: There's a pledge drive going on where fans can donate money and get some cool prizes, right?How did this come about and what are some of the prizes they could bid on? I guess they are not prizes... haha. Anyway, what's the site for the pledge? I will push it here on the Phile.

Roger: Well, that is something that Linda and I thought very carefully about. We realized that it is really not about ‘crowd funding’ but about letting people pre-order the record and be part of the experience. If you ‘pledge’ as little as $10 for the digital download, you get an ‘Access Pass’ which gives you behind the scenes info on what we are doing during the recording and who the special guests are. It is a cool way to get our fans involved in what we are doing.
And, yes, there are also some cool experiences that we have for the fans in addition to pre-ordering the CD. With any of the ‘experiences’ you also get a copy of the CD and a download. There is everything from a private guitar lesson with Bryan, golfing with Charlie, a home cooked meal with Roger or even getting onstage and playing guitar or drums with the band! Pretty exciting stuff, Jason. You can check out our campaign at pledgemusic.com/foghat.

Me: There's also gonna be a newly recorded version of "Slow Ride" with some guests... do you have anybody lined up yet?

Roger: Yes, we have a lot of people lined up but I’m not tell you who because it’s a secret! But, one of the ‘experiences’ that we are offering on the pledge music campaign, is for people to be part of the "Slow Ride" chorus on the new recording! That should be fun!

Me: Oh, I know what I have to ask, you played on a Phile Alum's first album... Chris Jagger who is Mick's brother. I never knew this when I interviewed Chris. Did you know him prior, Rog?

Roger: Yes, It was when we were looking for a record deal back in 1971-72. The Beatles publicist, Derek Taylor, was working for Warner Brothers in London at the time, and he got a hold of some demos we were making and he really really liked the band and wanted to help us. So, Derek was helping us find some work and the Rolling Stones office was in the same building as Warner Bros, I believe. Someone said to Derek that Chris was looking for a drummer to play on his record and I got suggested. Mick Jagger had a house, and I use that term lightly, he had a very big house just south of me near Marlborough. That’s how I met Chris. We would go down and play and record, it was a lot of fun actually. I got paid in gin and sausages.
For some reason there was just gin everywhere and they would have these fantastic sausages delivered each day and there were piles of sausage in the fridge so I would take a bottle of gin and sausages home every day as payment. I really enjoyed it. Chris was a very talented lad, although I think he was sort of standing in the shadow of his brother…well, it was his brothers house! It was a lot of fun. Chris is still doing very well. I did get paid by the way. I got 200 pounds in cash and as many sausages and bottles of gin as I could carry.

Me: Okay, I know you are very busy so I will let you go. Go ahead and mention Foghat's website and anything else you wanna.

Roger: Well, Jason, what I would like to add is a big thank you to you as Dave’s son. You have always been such a fan of your dad’s and of Foghat’s music. It hasn’t been easy for you, and we know it. After all both Linda and I have known you most of your life. You are a good guy and a good friend and we know your dad would think it is very cool that you are doing this Peverett Phile thing and how you keep your dad’s legacy alive. We are there with you! Thanks, Jason.
And yes, please visit our website at foghat.net for current tour info, music, merch and stuff. Also check out our pledge campaign for our new record "Under The Influence" at pledgemusic.com/foghat. And if you want to try some wine please visit foghatcellars.com.

Me: Rog, thanks for being here at last, and please come back when the album comes out next year. See ya soon, Rog!

Roger: Thanks for having me, Jason, see ya next time!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and of course Roger Earl. The Phile will be back next Sunday with jazz great and author Hod O'Brien. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Have a safe and merry Christmas!

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker