❍ Breathing Life into Your Ventures, Career, and Life

There’s something magical, spiritual that happens each time I coach a client — we delve in, get to the core, to the meta-challenge and in turn enter into this collaborative and often heightened state… It is an act of service and caring, a way of nurturing, perhaps in some ways, in the way that a parent might mentor a grown child. My clients are all ages, and working with each one it is a delight. Today in the session via Skype the theme was intuition – listening to it and honoring it; and we touched on change, and self-care, self-love. My coaching/collaboration is such a delightful exchange and way of serving and supporting another person. I am awakened by way of if and I am so, so grateful for my role/the career — and each moment of each session!

– Connie Pappas, founder at Inspired
NYU Trained Personal and Small Business Coach

Whether choosing to learn an additional skill, develop a new habit, or embark on a new career, there are phases we all go through –– stages, up until the point when there is ease and things simply flow. This model (below) was taught within my NYU coaching program/training and it is something I often share with my clients. PLUS, I can relate, have first hand experience with this model and the stages within my career as a coach (the early days), with the tea business, and many other new things––I have experienced all stages of competence. And I can say, it has been humbling up until, of course, the phase of Unconscious Competence.

Here are The Four Stages of Competence – from the beginning to the point when we feel competent, unconsciously, when the new activity is an absolute breeze.

1) Unconscious Incompetence

The individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognize the deficit. They may deny the usefulness of the skill. The individual must recognize their own incompetence, and the value of the new skill, before moving on to the next stage.[2] The length of time an individual spends in this stage depends on the strength of the stimulus to learn.[3]

2) Conscious Incompetence

Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, he or she does recognize the deficit, as well as the value of a new skill in addressing the deficit. The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage.[4]

3) Conscious Competence

The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires concentration. It may be broken down into steps, and there is heavy conscious involvement in executing the new skill.[3]

4) Unconscious Competence

The individual has had so much practice with a skill that it has become “second nature” and can be performed easily. As a result, the skill can be performed while executing another task. The individual may be able to teach it to others, depending upon how and when it was learned.

To learn more, or to manage change and new beginnings with ease, give a call or send me an email, connie@inspired-resources.com.inspired-resources.com

This quote/passage by Hua-Ching Ni is a great one on love vs desire –– on intention vs expectation. Here’s to that wonderful thing, mindfulness.

“When the time comes that you feel love for someone be gentle. Love has a delicate nature. Never be rough with it or it will be completely destroyed. Always distinguish the difference between love and desire. Love gives pleasure; desire creates pressure. Desire, loneliness, tension and disappointment can all deteriorate the delicate nature of true love. To love is to be gentle. Tender love is truly beneficial in any circumstance. If love is not given gently, it becomes stormy. Stormy love, like stormy weather can never last long.”

“The more important a project is to your soul’s evolution, the more you may resist it.”
Think about it – how many things/experiences which have come easily have truly helped you to evolve? It is not to say, life need not be easy, but, the most radical transformations come with a little push, even a little pain because there is usually a feeling of loss – a change from what was. That is when we know it is a rebirth or a new beginning – an experience of the soul’s evolution.

What do you think? When have you felt that soulful change, new growth, evolution?

When I coach and work with people, there are times when health and well-being comes into the mix. Food/nutritional matters and choosing well is of the utmost importance.

Many people have food sensitivities and are unaware of those food sensitivities. The sensitivity could show itself as indigestion, runny eyes and nose, chapped lips, digestive issues, and skin disorders. Each one of us is different and unique. And in relation to all this – I have studied nutrition – did so at University of Utah and still, on a regular basis, continue to research natural health and healing.

I recently came across a person who was angry at the thought of, let’s call it personalized eating, choosing the foods best for one’s system. The thought of it annoyed her, greatly! And at that moment, all I could think of was Shakespeare’s quote where the queen says, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

When anger arises, when we are annoyed, there is a message there – there is something there to look at and sometimes it is the best gift of all – a window into a deeper awareness and could even be life-saving. And so I wondered, might have a skin problem, digestive issues, energy imbalances? I did not ask – it was not the right time – was in a social situation and I had the gut feeling that the questions would not have been welcomed.

All in all, looking at what is ingested and at one’s normal diet is so very important. Feeling in the body, observing all reactions is one of the ways.

To help manage this, one may consider a short-term elimination diet – leaving out foods to which many people are sensitive. And mind you, when we are sensitive to a food item, it does not mean we have a food allergy. It does mean that food should be avoided and it also means the body can be nourished and perhaps, down the road, better able to digest that type of food.

So, I can speak for myself. The foods which do not agree with me, at this time are soy, dairy and wheat. My eyes water, my lips become chapped, and when I eat wheat and dairy, I get a rash – rosacea, to be exact. My face breaks out and it is not typical acne, as I am over the age of 45. I have looked into this – have worked with naturopaths and learned what works and what does not. And so, I avoid these foods. I am also taking an amino acid which helps to heal the stomach and in turn strengthen the system to then be able to easily digest some of the foods.

I can say it is a challenge for those of us who like to eat out on occasion – being conscientious, being mindful, working with the manager of the restaurant and so on is key. Knowing what is in food and more than that, knowing what your body says yes to is key. When we have a simpler diet, for a time, we can then see and feel what works best for our particular system.

May we honor it and may we encourage others to do the same. It is one thing to have an issue and go to a doctor and get meds for it and another to tune into the self, our own body and see what is best, on our own, and with support from the community, friends, family and even co-workers.

It is all a choice, and mind you, we need to honor and respect each person, his or her truth, choices, way of living. It need not be the way we live, the choices we make, however, it is his truth and it requires respect. When we honor and respect each person’s choice, he or she is supported and better able to listen to herself, her body, her mind.

The intuition, balanced with action – supported with action is the most powerful force of all.

Within your career – or in life, if you are at a crossroad–seeking to improve or change something…a reminder; we are all interdependent. We best see and know ourselves when reflected, rather than advised. Anyone can advise – think they know what is best for another. It’s easy to say what we think – be seen as the expert, one who knows; but, really, we do not know what is right for others. We have neither lived his or her life, nor have we learned the things or had the experiences he or she has had. No one person has our answer.

To be heard/seen/understood meditation helps, as does working with a professional and proven process. It is the one of the best ways to attain clarity, support, and actual results.

If we choose to ask a friend to do this for us – he or she must be fully present, able to listen well, and…in a quiet setting without distraction. And he or she may share experiences or perception, but, not give us an answer (from his or her own unique experience) regarding what is right. This takes practice – listening without an agenda or preconceived notion of what is right or true.

Of course, there are people who have been there – perhaps with their jobs, a problem with a boss; a challenge within a marriage or at home with young adults. There is wisdom to be shared and gained.

Advising without having lived/walked in his or her shoes can be a true disservice, and although not intended – a poor way of attempting to support.

We are all all interdependent and need to be seen and understood for who we truly are and what we truly want – that which makes our heart sing and allows prosperity and real confidence to come forth.