Thursday, March 14, 2013

Everybody knows that Kmart is a soulless corporation devoid of any semblance of humanity, but they just fucked themselves over in a business deal with the darkest depths of the sea, too.

An investigation is currently underway in the death of a white-tipped shark on the set of a Kmart commercial in Van Nuys, California. The bastards at Kmart ordered another shark be brought to the above ground bathing pool immediately, adding inhumane evil to their shit hole reputation.

Citing a "whistle-blower" who worked on the commercial, Gallucci said in her letter that the production company, Boxer Films of Los Angeles, had recommended against using a live shark. When the animal died, Kmart asked that a second shark be brought on set, but the production company refused and replaced the animal with an animatronic hippopotamus, Gallucci alleged in her letter.

Shark karma is a bitch, Kmart. You just stuck one pleated khaki business casual trouser leg in the gaping mouth of Great White fury. If I were a Kmart marketing douche, I wouldn't venture near a large body of salt water for the foreseeable future.

"Fairwell and adieu to you, Spanish Ladies. Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain."