Yong Mai had been out on the sauce on a stag do in Nanyang city in China when he collapsed into a drunken stupour in the middle of the street. As he lay there snoring a male beggar approached him and started to kiss him right on the lips. And Yong even started mumbling a girls name as the tramp started cuddling and fondling him. A man who was at the same all-night party did what anyone else would do in this situation – he took photos of the whole thing. He revealed: “The beggar was walking down the street when he saw the young man, and he laid down beside him and put his arms around him. “I wasn’t sure at first if maybe they knew each other but then I saw the beggar starting to caress the other man who was clearly out of it. “He was very gentle, I don’t think he wanted the young man to wake up.” Eventually Yong woke up – and he wasn’t happy.
fu*king hate when that happens, don’t you? One second you’re partying with your friends at night and then the next second you’re getting fondled by a homeless guy in the morning while people take pictures and you’re completely unconscious. Classic. The ol’ pass out and get fu*ked by a homeless dude. The oldest move in the book. If I had a dollar for every time this happened to me I’d have no money. A guy just can’t pass out on a street corner in peace anymore without some hobo treating you like a doll in a therapist’s office. But I guess in the eye’s of the hobo this is probably totally fine. If you see a drunk, recently showered human being laying on a street corner you’re pretty much obligated to make out with it. It’s a lot better than that cold milk carton he fu*ks every night Hard to argue with that logic.
PS- Seriously though, if this happened to you you’d commit suicide, right? I would. That’s your only move at that point. There’s no coming back from getting violated by a homeless guy. Especially if there’s photo evidence of it. Your life is pretty much over at that point anyway. Find a bridge and do your best swan dive.